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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
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+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #62637 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/62637)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Princess Sonia, by Julia Magruder
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Princess Sonia
-
-Author: Julia Magruder
-
-Illustrator: Charles Dana Gibson
-
-Release Date: July 13, 2020 [EBook #62637]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS SONIA ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by D A Alexander, Chuck Greif and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This
-file was produced from images generously made available
-by The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE PRINCESS SONIA
-
-[Illustration: “THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN ... HAD STEPPED BACK FROM HER
- EASEL.” (SEE PAGE 3.)]
-
-
-
-
- THE PRINCESS SONIA
-
- BY
-
- JULIA MAGRUDER
-
- [Illustration]
-
- WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY
- CHARLES DANA GIBSON
-
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
- NEW YORK
- THE CENTURY CO.
- 1895
-
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1895, by
- THE CENTURY CO.
-
-
- THE DE VINNE PRESS.
-
-
-
-
- TO GENEVIEVE
-
-
-
-
- LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
-
-
-“THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN ... HAD
-STEPPED BACK FROM HER EASEL” _Frontispiece_
-
- FACING PAGE
-
-“A LITTLE AMERICAN CHATTERBOX” 6
-
-“A TALL OLD MAN” 16
-
-“THE PRINCESS WAS VERY TALL” 20
-
-“‘IT WILL BE QUITE SAFE, I SEE’” 31
-
-“‘AH, I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE, I SEE’” PAGE 37
-
-“‘ALICE HAS A FINE VOICE’” 39
-
-“IN THE AMERICAN COLONY” 43
-
-“HER HEAD IN ITS LARGE PLUMED HAT” 50
-
-“‘IS IT YOU, MARTHA?’” 58
-
-“‘OH, I AM SO, SO SORRY’” 60
-
-“THE MAN WHO STOOD WAITING TO GIVE THE
-BRIDE” 76
-
-“‘I KNEW IT WAS ANGUISH TO YOU’” PAGE 92
-
-“AS SHE HAD SEEN HER ONCE BEFORE” 93
-
-“‘OH, SONIA, WERE YOU EVER REALLY AS HAPPY
-AS THAT?’” 98
-
-“‘I BEG YOUR PARDON,’ HE SAID AGAIN” 104
-
-“AMONG THE FLOWER-STALLS” 106
-
-“SONIA PASSED VERY NEAR HIM” 124
-
-“SHE PUT ON A LONG CLOAK” 196
-
-
-
-
-THE PRINCESS SONIA
-
-
-
-
-I
-
-
-MARTHA KEENE had been at work for several months in Etienne’s atelier,
-in the Latin quarter of Paris, and although her appearance would have
-led one to believe her frail in health, she had never missed a
-working-day, and always occupied a good position well in view of the
-model, because she always came among the earliest to secure it. Her work
-was far from brilliant, and Etienne had noticed her very little at
-first. If he did so more of late, it was her ability to stick which had
-won her this favor. So many students had come and gone, rousing his
-hopes only to disappoint them, that it had got to be rather a comfort to
-the little old man to be sure of one earnest worker always in her place;
-and while he could not say that her work was good, it was certainly not
-bad.
-
-Recently he had told Martha this several times. “Not bad” was about the
-highest praise that most of Etienne’s pupils got from him; and when the
-young American girl heard it for the first time applied to her work, she
-experienced what was perhaps one of the most thrilling sensations of her
-life.
-
-It was followed by another thrilling sensation; for, as she looked up
-from the canvas which the master had thus commended, she met the
-beautiful eyes of the princess, turned upon her with a congratulatory
-smile.
-
-It was almost too much for Martha. Her heart thumped so that her
-breathing became rapid and a little difficult. Instead of answering the
-princess’s smile, a frown contracted her forehead; for she was afraid
-that she was going to lose her self-control, and she needed a stern
-effort not to do so. Martha had a heart which was made for worshiping.
-Etienne and the princess were two of the people that she worshiped, and
-there was a third.
-
-When Etienne had passed on, after smudging one part of her drawing with
-his thumb until it was a dirty blur, and scratching another part with
-ruthless streaks of soft charcoal, she remembered she had received his
-first words of encouragement rather coldly, and had made the same sort
-of return for the princess’s smile. This plunged her from a state of
-delight into one of wretchedness. She looked toward the master with some
-hope of making amends; but he was too absorbed in his next criticism,
-and it was only too evident that her chance was gone. Then she glanced
-at the princess, to receive the same impression from that quarter. The
-beautiful young woman on whom her eyes rested had stepped back from her
-easel, and with her head turned sidewise, and her eyelids drawn up, was
-looking at her picture. She held a brush in one hand, with the fingers
-delicately poised, and in the other her palette, laid with brilliant
-dabs of color. Her lips were pursed critically, and her whole attitude
-and expression showed such absorption in her work that Martha felt it
-would be absurd to imagine that she or her behavior could have any part
-in that beautiful lady’s consciousness.
-
-As usual, when Martha allowed herself to look at the princess, she
-forgot everything else. She had long ago had to make it a rule to place
-her easel so that she would be turned away from her enchantress while
-she was working; otherwise she could see and think only of her. At the
-present moment she was completely fascinated by the tall, strong figure,
-so firmly poised, with one foot advanced, and her body thrown backward
-from the slender waist, where a belt of old silver confined the folds of
-her red silk shirt-waist above the sweep of her skirt of dark green
-serge. This was her ordinary working-rig; and as she wore no apron, as
-most of the other students did, it was more or less streaked with paint.
-Martha herself wore her calico apron religiously, and was always neatly
-clothed beneath it; but she would have protested utterly against seeing
-her neighbor in an apron. It would have looked so unprincesslike! She
-was very tall and straight, this princess, and “Serene Highness” seemed
-to Martha to be written on every inch of her.
-
-There was not much sociability among the students in the atelier. They
-came from many different countries, and spoke many different tongues;
-and they were such a mixture of aristocrats and plebeians--some were so
-afraid of patronizing and others of being patronized,--that the
-conditions generally were such as were opposed to much mixing. Talking
-was forbidden during work-hours, except the little absolutely necessary
-whispering; and in the intermission at noon the princess always went
-away for lunch, and sometimes did not return. Martha, too, went to her
-mother’s apartment for the midday meal, though nothing ever prevented
-her from returning. Some of the students had chums, with whom they
-chatted glibly in the cloak-room; but as a rule, these intimacies had
-been formed outside.
-
-Martha Keene was a girl who would never have made the first advance
-toward an acquaintance with any one; for, although she had passed her
-twentieth year, she was incorrigibly shy. This reserve of manner was so
-evident that it discouraged advances from others. She knew this and
-regretted it, but could not help it.
-
-It had pleased Martha very much when, on a single occasion, this wall of
-isolation which she had built around herself had been broken through by
-a little American chatterbox, who had rattled away to her for ten
-minutes one day as she was waiting for her carriage in the cloak-room.
-This had been soon after her entrance at Etienne’s, and her voluble
-country-woman had vanished from the horizon the next day; but in that
-one talk she had got almost all the knowledge of the atelier which she
-possessed.
-
-Her informant had told her that the students were not supposed to
-inquire about one another at all, the ideal of the atelier being a place
-where high and low alike could lay aside their disabilities and get the
-benefits of the common workshop. She added that there had been several
-personages of importance studying there since she herself had been a
-student, but that she had always heard of it from the outside, and they
-had generally left before she had identified them. “I spotted the
-princess, though,” she had said. “As soon as I heard that there was a
-Russian princess studying here, I picked her out. Do you know which one
-she is?” Martha had answered, “The lady in the red blouse”--a guess at
-once confirmed. “Isn’t she stunning?” her companion had gone on; “I’m
-dying to speak to her! If she were not a princess, I’d have done it long
-ago. I can’t go the Russian; but no doubt she speaks every language.
-Russians always do.” At this point of the conversation the lady herself
-had come into the cloak-room. A neat French maid who was
-
-[Illustration: “A LITTLE AMERICAN CHATTERBOX.”]
-
-in waiting had come forward, and held out her lady’s wrap, a magnificent
-sable thing, in which the beautiful creature had quickly infolded
-herself, and left the room, the two girls meanwhile making a tremendous
-effort to cover their breathless interest by an air of unconsciousness.
-
-Ever since that day--indeed, even before it--Martha had been a silent
-worshiper at the shrine of the princess. She had a passionate love of
-beauty, and her heart, for all her grave and shy exterior, was packed as
-full of romance as it could hold. The discovery that this beautiful
-being was a princess--and a Russian princess, of all others--was meet
-food for this appetite for the romantic; and she dreamed by the hour
-about this young woman’s life, and wondered what it had been and was to
-be. She knew she could not be many years older than herself, and she
-wondered, with burning interest, whether she was or was not married.
-Sometimes she would hold to one opinion for days, and then something--a
-mere turn of expression, perhaps--would convert her to the opposite one.
-She wanted her to be unmarried, so that she might be free to construct
-from her imagination a beautiful future for her; and yet she dreaded to
-find out that she was married. There was certainly a look about the
-princess which contradicted Martha’s ideal of her as the possessor of a
-fair, unwritten life-page. Martha had watched her hands to see if she
-wore a wedding-ring; but those extraordinarily beautiful hands were
-either loaded down with jeweled gauds of antique workmanship or else
-quite ringless. Still, many married women were careless about wearing
-their wedding-rings, a thing which Martha herself could not comprehend;
-but she felt that this wonderful creature was removed as far as possible
-from her in both actuality and ideas.
-
-Martha had heard the sound of the princess’s voice only once or twice,
-and on those occasions she had spoken French with what seemed to the
-American girl an absolutely perfect accent. Once she had been near
-enough to hear a little talk between the princess and Etienne, as he was
-criticizing the former’s work with rather more humanness, Martha
-thought, than he showed to the students generally; and once or twice
-when the princess had been placed near the model’s little retiring-room,
-Martha had had the joy of hearing her divinity give the summons, in the
-usual atelier jargon, “C’est l’heure!” It seemed to the girl a most
-lovable act of condescension on the part of her Serene Highness.
-
-One day (it was the day after Etienne had told her that her drawing was
-“not bad,” and the princess had smiled at her) Martha was working away,
-when she became aware that an easel was being pushed into the unoccupied
-space at her right hand. She had known that some one would soon take
-possession of this place, and she did not even look round to see who it
-was. Her whole attention was bent on making Etienne see that his
-encouragement had yielded good fruit, even though she had made no verbal
-acknowledgment of it. She went on drawing, with intense concentration,
-until, weary at last, she put down her charcoal, and stood resting her
-arms, with her hands on her hips. As she finished her scrutiny of her
-work, and looked around, she started to discover that it was the
-princess who was seated at the easel next her own, and was looking full
-at her. As Martha, confused and delighted, encountered that gaze, the
-beautiful lady’s lips parted in a friendly smile, and she whispered
-gently,
-
-“Bon jour.”
-
-Martha crimsoned with pleasure as she returned the greeting, and then
-both fell to work again. The princess was painting, laying on her color
-in a broad and daring style that almost frightened her neighbor. Martha
-watched her furtively while she crumbled her bread, and pretended to be
-erasing and touching up certain points in her picture. It was a
-bewildering delight to her to stand so close to the princess and see her
-at work, and she was agreeably aware that the princess was also aware of
-her, and perhaps even pleased at their being together.
-
-When the time came for the model to rest, and the quiet of the room was
-a little relieved by the whispered talk that sprang up among the
-students as they waited, Martha felt that the princess had inclined
-toward her a little, and was looking at her work. She put down as
-childish the impulse that rushed up in her to cover the picture from
-sight, or to say how bad she knew it was, and she stood very still and
-very much embarrassed until the princess said again, in that exquisite
-utterance of French subtleties,
-
-“C’est bien difficile, n’est-ce pas?”
-
-Martha answered her somehow--she never knew what.
-
-When the model came back, and they began to work again, she felt that
-she had become part of a wonderful experience. She had never seen the
-princess talking to any one else, and, amazing and undeserved as the
-tribute was, she could not be mistaken in thinking that the lovely lady
-wished to know her, and perhaps to allow her the dear privilege of such
-intercourse as their atelier life permitted. She never expected it to go
-beyond that; but that was far more than anything she had imagined.
-
-Across one corner of her canvas Martha’s name was scrawled in full, and
-she knew that the princess must have seen it. She looked to see if there
-was any signature upon the princess’s picture, and, as if interpreting
-her thought, her neighbor, with a brilliant smile, dipped her brush in
-vermilion, and wrote in a bold, strong hand the word “Sonia.” This name
-(which Martha did not know to be the Russian abbreviation of Sophia)
-seemed to the girl very odd and beautiful, and peculiarly appropriate to
-its possessor.
-
-
-
-
-II
-
-
-Martha said nothing to her mother and sisters of her encounter with the
-princess. She had a way of locking very close in her heart her most
-personal and sacred feelings, and all that related to the princess was
-sacred to her now. During her earlier years she had so often been
-laughed at for an enthusiast that she had learned to keep back what she
-felt most strongly; and for that very reason, perhaps, the intensity of
-her feelings grew greater as she grew older. The enthusiasm of her life
-was for her only brother, whom she worshiped with a blind idolatry of
-the extent of which even he was unaware. There had been one or two other
-divinities in her horizon, always second to Harold; but at this period
-of her life she was suffering from a sense of disappointment in these
-as, one after the other, they had come short of her ardent expectations.
-She was now, therefore, in the exact state of mind to take on a new
-object of worship. This the princess had become.
-
-It was not surprising that Martha’s ideal had been so repeatedly
-unrealized, for it was a difficult one. She had suffered acutely from
-her former disappointments, and had even resolved never to pin her faith
-and hope on another woman. But the princess was not to be resisted.
-Martha felt that even if her goddess never spoke to her again, she was
-worthy of all adoration.
-
-As the young girl drove through the streets of Paris in the early
-morning of the day following her brief interview with the princess, her
-heart was very happy.
-
-In appearance Martha was small and rather plain; and no one would have
-noticed her, perhaps, but for the concentration of expression on her
-face as she looked out of the carriage window on her way to her atelier
-in the Latin Quarter. The people abroad at that hour were not of a class
-to pay much attention to such a look on a girl’s face. The little army
-of street-cleaners, occupying their brief hour with busy industry to
-produce the beautiful effect of gay cleanliness which the world enjoyed
-later in the day, had no time to notice Martha, and she was as unaware
-of them. Even the ice on the figures in the fountains of the Place de la
-Concorde, which she generally admired in passing, she did not so much as
-see to-day. The “cold sea-maidens” wore an unusually beautiful veil of
-mist, made by the freezing spray, and Martha might have got an
-impression for some future picture if she had studied it with the early
-sunlight on it.
-
-But she was thinking only of the princess as she drove along and crossed
-the bridge and entered old Paris. Here, too, all was familiar, for
-Martha had taken this drive daily for months, and there was nothing to
-disturb her preoccupation until she reached the Invalides, where her
-hero-worshiping soul never failed to offer a passing tribute of awe to
-the ashes of Napoleon.
-
-As she turned into a cross street farther on, a little funeral
-procession met her. This sight, too, was familiar; but no wont and usage
-could keep Martha from being deeply moved as often as she witnessed the
-pitiful little ceremonial which attends the burial of the very poor in
-Paris.
-
-It is usually in the early morning that these funerals occur, as there
-seems to be a demand upon the poor to give up to the more prosperous
-even the space in the streets which they, with their dead, lay claim to
-for so short a time. This was a child’s funeral, or, rather, it was the
-funeral of two children. There was neither hearse nor carriage. Each
-little coffin was borne upon a wretched bier carried by rough and shabby
-men, who appeared cross and reluctant in their miserable, faded
-trappings of mourning. Looking carefully, Martha discovered that there
-was a separate family of mourners to each little bier; and as the whole
-procession was under the command of a tall old man, who held his
-shoulders very erect, as if to atone for a limp in one leg, she
-comprehended that this bedizened old undertaker, with the ragged crape
-on his cocked hat and the dirty bunches of black and white ribbons on
-the end of his long staff of office, had consolidated his duties,
-probably at a slight and very welcome discount to his poor patrons, and
-was burying the dead of two families at once. Directly after him came
-the bearers of the light coffin, and just behind it were five little
-children, four girls and a boy, walking abreast, and dressed in
-mourning. This mourning consisted of hastily fashioned aprons made of
-dull black calico, and so carelessly fitted that the many-colored
-undergarments of the children showed plainly at every opening. The
-children were regular little steps, the boy being the youngest; and cold
-as it was, they were all bareheaded. Each carried a sprig of yellow
-bloom, which resembled, if indeed it was not, the mustard-flower. This
-they held very stiffly and correctly in their right hands, and they
-walked with an air of the utmost decorum. Behind them came their father
-and mother, the former looking more apathetic than sad, and the latter
-carrying with some complacency the dignity of a dingy and draggled crape
-veil, in frank contrast to a blue-and-green plaid dress. She was taller
-than her husband, and leaned awkwardly upon his arm, keeping no time
-whatever to his shuffling gait. Then came the other coffin and the
-second group of mourners, who were evidently not so fashionable as the
-first; for they made no effort at mourning, and walked after their
-little dead one with nothing like a flower, and in their common
-working-clothes.
-
-While Martha’s carriage was passing this
-
-[Illustration: “A TALL OLD MAN.”]
-
-procession, she saw on the other side of them, going in the same
-direction with her, a smart turnout in which a gentleman was driving,
-with a groom behind. The horses shone like satin, and their harness
-jingled and glittered in the morning sunshine. The gentleman and his
-servant were dressed with a brilliant effect of care and detail. The
-former was smoking a cigarette, and had a scarlet flower in his coat.
-
-As the little funeral procession passed this carriage, the young swell
-who was driving bared his head, with its smoothly parted blond hair,
-remaining uncovered until the procession had passed, his servant
-imitating his act. This little tribute of homage to death which the
-French take the pains to perform always touched and pleased Martha. She
-thought of the absurdity of this man’s uncovering his head to that
-pauper baby alive; but the mystery of death imparted to it a majesty
-which the equal mystery of life could not. This child was a partaker of
-the knowledge of the unknown, into which Napoleon, lying near by, had
-also entered, and was, with him, divided from the merely mortal.
-
-Martha thought of this as she watched the showy carriage, which had
-relaxed its speed for a moment, whirling rapidly away toward the
-outskirts of the city. She wondered where that handsome,
-prosperous-looking, well-bred man was going at this early hour. Probably
-to fight a duel, she thought, in her romantic way! Perhaps in a few
-hours’ time he might be as dead as the poor little baby; and perhaps
-there was some one who loved and adored him as she did Harold!
-
-These were the ideas which filled her mind as she reached the atelier,
-there to learn that there was a disappointment about the model, who had
-failed to come.
-
-She was about to take off her wraps, and go to work on some drawings
-from casts, when an exquisite voice behind her said suddenly, “Pardon,
-mademoiselle,” and she turned to meet the gaze of the princess fixed
-upon her with a smile of lovely friendliness.
-
-“What are you going to do?” she said in that faultless French which
-Martha had already admired.
-
-For a moment the girl was quite overcome at such unexpected
-graciousness. Then she managed to say in her own faulty though perfectly
-fluent French, that she had thought she would go on and do what she
-could without a model.
-
-“It is so dull, after having that glorious Antonio to pose for one,”
-said the princess. “I am not in the humor, and my carriage is gone.
-Yours, perhaps, is gone also. Do you feel like drawing to-day? Or do
-you, perhaps, feel more like calling a cab, and taking a drive with me?
-I should like it. Will you go?”
-
-Martha crimsoned with pleasure as she accepted the invitation. There was
-no mistaking her delight at the suggestion.
-
-“You are very good to go,” said the other, “especially as you know
-nothing of me, I suppose.”
-
-“I know only that you are the princess--the Russian princess,” said
-Martha.
-
-Her companion frowned slightly, and, Martha thought, looked a little
-annoyed. She reflected that she ought not, perhaps, to have told her
-that her secret had been discovered.
-
-The little frown soon passed, however, and the princess smiled genially
-as she said:
-
-“I am living incognito in Paris to study painting, and I do not go into
-the world. When I am not working I am often bored, and I frequently long
-for companionship. You make me very grateful by giving me yours this
-morning.”
-
-The princess was very tall--so tall that when Martha walked at her side
-she had to turn her face upward to speak to her. They walked along in
-the most natural companionship until they reached a cab-stand nearby,
-and Martha thought her divinity more worshipful than ever as she stood
-wrapped in her long cloak, with a large, black-plumed hat crowning her
-beautiful head, and said some words of gentle pity about the poor old,
-weak-kneed cab-horses drawn up in a line.
-
-When they had entered a cab, and were seated side by side, the princess
-said abruptly:
-
-“If you had not heard something of me, I should have told you nothing.
-Why should we ask questions about each other? We meet to-day, art
-students in a Paris atelier, and we shall part to-morrow. What have we
-to do with formalities? Of you I know that you are a young American
-studying painting here, and I think, in a way, sympathetic to me. I am
-content to know that, and no more, of you. Do you feel the same about
-me?”
-
-Martha replied eagerly in the affirmative, and in five minutes the two
-had come to a perfect understanding. The girl felt her awe at being in
-“the presence” gradually fading away,
-
-[Illustration: “THE PRINCESS WAS VERY TALL.”]
-
-as this winning young woman sat and talked with her on a footing of
-friendly equality. It was after a short silence between them that the
-princess said:
-
-“There are one or two things that it will be necessary for you to
-know--that is, if you like me well enough to come to see me, as I hope
-you do. I am living in the Rue Presbourg, and when you come to see me,
-you are to ask for the apartment of the Princess Mannernorff. You will
-come, will you not?”
-
-“Oh, if you will only let me, it will be my greatest happiness!” said
-Martha. “I can’t understand what has made you so good to me!”
-
-“Simply, I like you. It isn’t hard to understand. I’ve noticed you a
-long time, and I’ve liked you more and more. I like your manner; I like
-your face; I like your devotion to your work; and I like your work.”
-
-“My work! My scratching and smudging, you mean! Oh, how _can_ you notice
-it or care for it when you look at yours? Every one must see that
-Etienne knows that you are his best pupil. He does not speak to any one
-as he does to you, and you must know as well as I that it is not because
-you are a princess.”
-
-“Yes, of course; I know that perfectly well. But I fancy that Etienne,
-in his little critical heart, feels that he hasn’t got out of me what he
-looked for at first. At least, I have that idea; and you see I have
-studied enough, compared with you, to be a great deal further ahead of
-you than I am. I have digged and delved for that treasure more than you
-realize. I hope to do something tolerable some day; but I’m not as
-confident about it as I used to be, and I fear Etienne is not, either.
-Oh, I _wish_ I could!”
-
-She said this with such fervor, and followed it by such a wistful sigh,
-that Martha, who had not yet taken in the idea that the princess might
-not be the all-fortunate creature she imagined, felt a sudden protest
-against the thought of her wishing for anything vainly.
-
-“Surely you will!” she said. “I can’t imagine your wanting anything very
-much without getting it.”
-
-The princess laughed, throwing up her chin, and looking at Martha with
-an indulgent smile.
-
-“You can’t?” she exclaimed. “Well, if you take the trouble to continue
-my acquaintance, you will find that I’ve missed pretty much everything
-in life that I very greatly wanted. It is sad, but true.”
-
-Martha did not answer, but she looked as if she would like to speak out
-something that was on her mind, and her companion saw this, and said:
-
-“What is it? Speak! I give you full permission.”
-
-“It was nothing,” said Martha, rather confusedly. “I was wondering about
-you--as, of course, I can’t help doing. I don’t want to be told things,
-however. I would far rather imagine how they are.”
-
-“Very, very sensible. I see that I shall like you more and more. There
-are a few things, however, which it will be well for you to know. For
-instance,”--she paused, with a slight look of reluctance, and then went
-on rapidly,--“no doubt you wonder whether I am married.”
-
-Martha’s eyes confirmed her.
-
-A cloud seemed to have settled with surprising suddenness upon the face
-of the princess. She looked fixedly at the passing prospect outside the
-window as, after a moment of difficult silence, she said almost
-brusquely:
-
-“I am a widow.” Then she turned and looked at Martha. “You will
-understand, for the future,” she went on more naturally, “my wish for
-silence on this subject. I am living temporarily in Paris with my aunt.
-I used to know French society well, but I am out of it now, and I don’t
-regret it. Painting is the only thing I really care for--that, and
-music, and some books; some, but not many. Books give such false ideas
-of life. I think it was what I read in books that led me to expect so
-much. I was not to be convinced but that all the happiness I imagined
-was quite possible; and when it would not come to me, I thought there
-was a force in me which could compel it. As a rule, I’ve given that idea
-up; but there are times even yet when it rises and conquers me. I know
-it is very foolish, and that experience cures one of such feelings, but
-I’m not altogether cured yet, in spite of hard and repeated blows.”
-
-Martha had listened with intense interest, and now, as her companion
-paused, she felt that she ought to volunteer, on her part, some sort of
-sketch of herself and her surroundings.
-
-“I don’t care to tell you anything about myself,” she said, “because
-it’s so uninteresting. My father has been dead a great many years; mama
-is delicate; and we live in Paris so that I may study painting and the
-younger girls may have lessons. We go to America for the summers. My
-brother is the eldest of us, and he lives there. The younger girls are
-pretty, and mama wishes them to go into society and to be admired. She
-used also to wish this for me, but she saw how I hated it, and how
-little chance I had in it, so she lets me alone now, particularly since
-I got Harold to speak to her.”
-
-“Are you sure that she would not disapprove of your friendship with me,
-knowing of me only the little that you are able to tell her?”
-
-“Yes; I’m certain of it. She wouldn’t mind. She knows I never get into
-mischief. I feel perfectly free to do as I choose about this, and I
-don’t mean to mention you to any one--not because there would be any
-objection, but because you are too sacred to me, and if you let me be
-your friend, I can’t share that knowledge and possession with any one.”
-
-Martha was determined to say this, but she did not accomplish it without
-a good deal of hesitation and embarrassment. Her companion looked at her
-with a sort of wondering scrutiny.
-
-“Where do you get that earnest, concentrated nature, I wonder--so
-different from mine!” she said. “Does it go with the American character?
-Your words are very foolish, child; but it is so long since any one has
-held me sacred that I am ridiculously touched by it.”
-
-There was something that looked like rising tears in the beautiful eyes
-of the princess; but a gay little laugh soon banished the shadow from
-both her face and her voice. Suddenly she sat upright and said:
-
-“Suppose you come home with me now! I want you to learn the ways of the
-place, so that you may come and go as you please. Will you come with me
-there to-day?”
-
-Martha agreed at once, and with evident satisfaction the princess leaned
-out of the window, and gave the address to the cabman.
-
-
-
-
-III
-
-
-Martha felt herself in a dream of delight as she descended from the cab,
-and, following the princess into the courtyard of a large
-apartment-house in the Rue Presbourg, mounted the stairs at her side.
-
-Their ring was answered by a foreign-looking man-servant, to whom the
-princess spoke in a tongue which Martha recognized as Russian, but of
-which she understood not a word. She saw, however, that it related to
-herself; for the servant, who wore a curious and elaborate livery,
-looked at her and bowed.
-
-“I have been telling him,” explained the princess, “that whenever you
-come you are to be brought at once to my private sitting-room, whether I
-am at home to other people or not. If it should chance that I cannot see
-you,--an unlikely thing, for I generally do what I want, and I shall
-always want to see you,--my maid can bring you word there. You see, I
-am not going to take any risk of having you turned away from my door.”
-
-The antechamber into which they had been admitted was charmingly
-furnished, not at all in the French style; and there was something in
-the whole environment of the princess which commended itself strongly to
-Martha’s artistic taste. Everything that she saw, as she passed along,
-deepened this impression. She followed her companion in excited silence
-through the antechamber, and into the large and sunny salon, where two
-persons were sitting.
-
-One was a little old lady with very white hair, elaborately arranged
-under a queer-looking lace cap fastened with jeweled pins; the other was
-a dark and severely dressed woman, who, Martha at once saw, was a sort
-of companion or maid. As the princess approached, this woman rose and
-courtesied. The old lady looked up, with some surprise in her placid
-face, and immediately laid down her embroidery, and took up a silver
-ear-trumpet, holding out her other hand to the princess.
-
-The latter bent, and kissed the proffered fingers lightly, and then,
-raising her voice a little, uttered several sentences in Russian into
-the trumpet, at the same time indicating Martha in a way that made her
-understand that this was an introduction. The girl also bent, and kissed
-the hand now extended to her, and then the princess led her away.
-
-“My poor aunt is so deaf,” she said, “that it is almost impossible to
-talk to her, and I could not go into any long explanation about you. She
-never interferes with me, however, and no questions will be asked. Come
-now to my own room.”
-
-Martha, following her companion, found herself in a small boudoir
-opening into a bedroom. The door of the latter was open, and the two
-apartments gave an impression which she told herself she could best
-describe by the word lovable. The musical instruments stood open. The
-lounges and chairs seemed to have taken the shapes of their occupants.
-Flowers that looked as if they had been willingly plucked were all about
-in vases. Well-worn volumes and drawing-books were scattered about, and
-some of the princess’s atelier studies were placed against the walls on
-the floor. Martha, who could hardly believe in her good fortune in
-having received even the smallest notice from the princess, was yet
-more bewildered and delighted when the latter crossed the little
-boudoir, and led her into the bedroom.
-
-Here the French maid whom Martha had seen at the atelier sat sewing. She
-stood up, evidently surprised. As she courtesied, and came forward to
-take her lady’s wraps, the latter hastily threw her cloak to her, and
-then, striking her hands together with a quick little clap, said:
-
-“Va-t’en, Félicie!”
-
-The maid smiled. She and her mistress evidently understood each other
-well. Deftly gathering up her work, she left the room, and Martha found
-herself alone with her divinity, in the privacy of her own bedroom. She
-felt quite foolishly happy. Perhaps the princess saw it, for she said,
-with her bewildering smile:
-
-“You like it, do you not? You needn’t explain. I see you do, just as I
-saw that you liked me, without your saying a word. I am so glad.”
-
-“_Like_ you!” said Martha, protestingly. “Oh!”
-
-Then the princess came and stood in front of the young girl, and put her
-arms around
-
-[Illustration: “‘IT WILL BE QUITE SAFE, I SEE.’”]
-
-her neck, clasping her long hands at the back, and looking down at her.
-
-“It will be quite safe, I see,” she said, still smiling, “for me to make
-my confession to you, and own that I was drawn to you in quite an
-extraordinary way. I really did not mean to go so fast, however; and if
-I had stopped to think, I should probably not have proposed to you to
-take this drive with me. But for once I am glad that I did not stop to
-think. My impetuosity is generally my bane in everything. This time I
-feel that it has brought me a blessing. I can prove to you that it is
-not my habit to go out to strangers in this way by the fact that I am so
-friendless. I have no intimate friend in Paris, though I know scores of
-people here. If I like you, and want to see more of you, and you have
-the same feeling toward me, why should we not indulge ourselves? Very
-well! So we will!” and she bent, and kissed Martha on the cheek.
-
-The girl’s heart quivered with joy; but she could find no words in which
-to express it, so she was quite silent. She felt herself very stupid as
-she let the princess take off her wraps and hat, and lead her to a
-seat.
-
-“Now,” said the lovely lady, “as I am one of those people who must be
-comfortable before they can be happy, I am going to put on a loose gown.
-No excuses necessary, I know.”
-
-She disappeared for a moment, and came back in an exquisite garment of
-pale-blue silk with borderings of dark fur. She had seemed to Martha
-very splendid and beautiful before, but now she was so winning, so
-sweet, so adorable, that the young girl felt her whole heart glow with
-delight as, with a long-drawn sigh of ease, the princess threw herself
-on the lounge at her side.
-
-“Now,” she said, as her hand closed on Martha’s, “talk to me.”
-
-Poor Martha! What could she say? Her gratefulness for this unexpected
-confidence and friendliness moved her almost to tears, but she was
-silent.
-
-“Talk to me, Martha,” said the princess, coaxingly. “I may call you
-that, may I not?”
-
-She called it “Mart’a,” with her pretty foreign utterance; and Martha
-thought her homely name had suddenly become adorable. But she could not
-even tell this to the princess. How dull and stupid she was! Her
-consent must have shown itself in her eyes, however, for the princess
-went on:
-
-“I can’t call you Martha unless you call me by my name, too. Will you? I
-have a fancy to hear you say it now. Will you call me by my little
-Russian name--Sonia?”
-
-It was evident that the girl’s silence did not offend her. She must have
-understood its basis, for she said, with an encouraging smile:
-
-“Say it. Say ‘Sonia.’”
-
-“Oh, you are too good to me!” exclaimed Martha. “You spoke of knowing
-that I liked you. I don’t _like_ you--I _love_ you! I don’t _love_
-you--I _adore_ you! O _Sonia_!” and the girl actually slipped from the
-low chair to her knees beside the lounge.
-
-The princess jumped to her feet, and with strong hands lifted Martha to
-hers; then holding both the girl’s hands, and stretching her arms apart
-to their full length, as their two faces were drawn together thus, she
-kissed Martha with affectionate warmth.
-
-“What a dear thing you are!” she said. “How good it is to see some one
-who can really feel! How tired one gets of the _fin-de-siècle_ spirit in
-both women and men! Bless you, my Martha! You have come to be a great
-joy in my life. I feel that we are going to be friends for always--do
-you?”
-
-“Oh, if you will let me! If you will only not be disappointed in me! I
-am afraid to speak, afraid to breathe almost, for fear that you will
-find out that I am only a poor, commonplace little creature, in whom
-your goodness has made you see something which does not exist. Oh, I
-_pray_ I may not disappoint you! And yet how can I dare to hope?”
-
-“Listen, Martha,” said the princess in a matter-of-fact tone, as she
-drew the other down to a seat beside her on the lounge; “let us take
-each other quite simply, and not promise anything. We will just agree to
-be perfectly natural with each other--just to be ourselves. If you
-continue to like me, and I you, it is all right. If not, we shall have
-broken no pledges and done each other no wrong. Now, with that basis to
-go upon, we can both feel natural and satisfied. Only don’t cover up
-your real self to me, for you may be concealing just what I love, and
-pretending what I hate. It is because you are different from others that
-I have been so drawn to you. Now don’t try to be like other people, and
-ruin everything.”
-
-“Oh, I feel I can be myself with you. I feel I can tell you everything
-that is in my heart, and talk of things that I have never been able to
-speak of to others. How beautiful it is! How strange that such a
-relationship between two women can come about here in Paris in this age
-of the world!”
-
-“It could not if we were Parisians; but both of us being foreign to this
-atmosphere, it can. I love your being an American. I felt sure you were
-even before I asked Etienne.”
-
-“And did he tell you? I have always understood that he never answered
-questions about his students.”
-
-“So have I; but I asked him all the same, and he told me who you were. I
-had quite fancied you before, and after that I fancied you still more,
-as I love the ideal of the American, a creature newer from Nature’s
-hands, and nearer to her heart, than we of the Old World; and,
-fortunately or otherwise, I have known too few of your people either to
-confirm or contradict this idea. So now I think I shall go on liking
-you. And how is it with you? Do you think you will not be disappointed
-in me?”
-
-Her beautiful lips widened in a smile of broad amusement that made her
-eyes twinkle. Martha looked at her with a speechless adoration which she
-could not have been so dense as to misunderstand.
-
-“How delightful!” said the princess. “It has been so long since I have
-permitted myself the luxury of a friend that my appetite for one is all
-the keener.”
-
-She had thrown herself back on the lounge, and as Martha sat down by
-her, the princess again took her hand, saying as she did so:
-
-“Now I will tell you two things about myself at the outset of our
-acquaintance: one is that I love to ask questions; the other is that I
-hate to be questioned. Will you remember these facts, and will you be as
-frank with me if I do what you don’t like? I am very nearly certain that
-we shall get on together admirably, for the reason that I know you have
-no vulgar curiosity about me or my affairs. You have sense enough to be
-convinced by one look at my aunt, if there were nothing else, that I am
-respectable. Now I am pretty confident that you have an impulse to talk
-out freely to me, and to answer any questions that I may choose to
-put--all the more so because your general habit is one of strict
-reserve.”
-
-[Illustration: “‘AH, I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE, I SEE.’”]
-
-The princess kept her eye on her companion’s face while she was talking,
-and she could tell by its expression that she had interpreted her
-correctly. She said so, with a little laugh of contentment, and then
-added:
-
-“Tell me about yourself first of all.”
-
-Martha’s countenance fell.
-
-“Ah, I have made a mistake, I see,” said the princess. “We have not come
-to that yet; but we will come to it--you and I. Some of these days you
-will find yourself telling me all those close-locked secrets of your
-heart; and yet even they, I fancy, will relate more to others than to
-yourself. So be it! I can wait. Tell me now about your people--your
-family here in Paris.”
-
-“Well,” began Martha, “there are mama and we four girls--Alice, Marian,
-Florence, and I. Alice is very handsome, and poor mama has had to shift
-over to her and to the younger girls, who also bid fair to be charming,
-all the hopes which she once centered in me. I have been struggled with
-for years, and finally let alone. Mama agrees to my working at my
-painting because she has made up her mind that unless I amount to
-something in that I shall never amount to anything at all; but I don’t
-think she has much hope of me. She is not far from beautiful herself,
-and is accustomed to being admired, and it took her a long time to
-accept my indifference to it. However, it’s quite accepted now; and I
-even think that, with three other girls to be taken into society, she
-finds a certain relief in leaving
-
-[Illustration: “‘ALICE HAS A FINE VOICE.’”]
-
-me out of it. The other girls are studying music and languages. Alice
-has a fine voice.”
-
-“And your father is dead, is he not? Did you not say you had a brother?”
-
-Martha’s face grew quite white with the concentration of mind which this
-thought produced.
-
-“Yes; I have a brother,” she said.
-
-“Forgive me,” said the princess, with swift sympathy. “There is
-evidently some reason why it pains you to speak of your brother. Forget
-that I asked you.”
-
-The blood rushed to Martha’s face as it occurred to her that her
-companion might misunderstand her reluctance to speak on this subject.
-
-“It’s not that I am not proud of him that it is hard for me to speak,”
-she said; “it’s expressly because I am. I made up my mind long ago not
-to talk about Harold. I found I must not, because I could not speak of
-him with any freedom without saying things that people would think no
-merely mortal man deserved. I have worshiped him all my life, and, as
-I’m rather ashamed to own, I’ve had a great many other idols which
-turned out to be made of clay. This one, however, has never proved for
-an instant unworthy of my adoration.”
-
-The princess smiled.
-
-“One would like to get a look at him,” she said. “An absolutely
-faultless being must be interesting to look at.”
-
-“Don’t laugh at me!” cried Martha. “If it were any one but you I could
-not bear it; but I know you would say or do nothing that could hurt me
-really. I don’t wish you to understand that I think Harold faultless. He
-is not. But to one who understands him as I do, his very faults are part
-of his greatness. They all have their seat in something noble, and to
-see how he fights to conquer them is a thing that thrills me. He is now
-off in America hard at work. He has done some quite extraordinary things
-in electricity, and is absorbed in his career. When I am a little older,
-and mama gives me up as a hopeless job for society, I am to go and live
-with Harold, and keep house for him. That is my dream and his.”
-
-“Sooner or later, dear child, you will have to wake from that dream. I
-do not find it as unlikely as you seem to that you will marry; and even
-if you should not, your brother probably will.”
-
-The princess was smiling, but her smile faded at the look of tragic pain
-in her companion’s face. She could see that the young girl had been
-touched in her heart’s tenderest place.
-
-“No,” she said, with that frown of sadness unrelaxed, “he will never
-marry.”
-
-“Forgive me again, dear Martha,” said the princess. “Your brother has
-had some disappointment, about which your heart is as sensitive as his
-own. I see that, and you need tell me no more. It is good that he has
-you to comprehend and sympathize with him. It is good that you have each
-other. If you gave your heart and life to a husband as wholly as you
-have given them to your brother, he would probably break the heart and
-wreck the life, and even the right to dream would be taken from you.
-Living with this brother, whom you love and worship so, whether he
-deserves it or not, you may have many a sweet and joy-giving dream which
-no reality would equal. I wish I could make you see how fortunate you
-are.”
-
-“I care very little for my own happiness,” said Martha, too absorbed to
-realize that she was saying anything that called for comment. “All that
-I care for is to give Harold a little comfort and calm. He can never be
-happy again.”
-
-“He tells you so, dear child, and no doubt he believes it. _I_ tell you
-it will pass. Men do not grieve perpetually for women. I know them
-better than you do.”
-
-“You do not know this man. If you imagine that he is like any other man
-in the world, you are wrong. He could not get over this sorrow and be
-the man that he is. It is simply a thing impossible to him. Not that he
-shows it! It has been two years since it happened, and no doubt every
-one except myself thinks he has recovered. I dare say he wants to have
-it so, and he’s generally cheerful and bright. Even to me he never says
-a word, but I think he knows that I understand. At all events, he knows
-that, though it is the desire of my life to go and live with him, I
-would never do him the wrong to suppose that I could make him happy.”
-
-“He has, then, it would seem, the same ardent temperament as yours. Dear
-me! how odd it would be to see a man like that in this
-
-[Illustration: IN THE AMERICAN COLONY.]
-
-generation! Was this woman very cruel to him that you resent it so?”
-
-“Resent it!” said Martha, dropping her companion’s hand, to clasp her
-own hands together. “Even to you I can’t talk about that. I should
-either cry like a fool or rage like a fury. I know very little about
-what happened, except that she has utterly ruined Harold’s life, and cut
-him off from everything that makes life sweet.”
-
-“You allow yourself to suffer too much for him, perhaps,” the princess
-said. “I am not going to antagonize you at the outset by saying all that
-I might say to you on this subject, but believe me, my little _ingénue_,
-I could give you points about men. I will not do it now, however, and I
-will even show my willingness to spare you by changing the subject. Tell
-me about Alice. Is she really so handsome? Does she go into society?
-Where could one see her?”
-
-“Yes; she goes out a good deal--in the American colony, principally. I
-don’t think there is any doubt that she’s handsome.”
-
-“Then I’m all the more unfortunate in having no acquaintance in the
-American colony. Does she look like you?”
-
-“No; the fact is--” Martha blushed, and was in evident confusion, as she
-went on--“the fact is, I’m considered like Harold. Not really, you know,
-because no one can deny that he’s magnificent; but there’s said to be a
-sort of family likeness.”
-
-“Well, I can believe that, my dear, without absolute insult to your
-brother. Is Alice much admired?”
-
-“Yes, a good deal; but she’s engaged now, and so she is not noticed as
-much as she was.”
-
-“Oh, she’s engaged, is she? And when is she to be married?”
-
-“The day is not fixed, but it will be before long. The trousseau is
-being bought now. Her fiancé is an Italian officer of very good family,
-though not much fortune. Still, Alice is happy, and mama is satisfied,
-and Harold has given his consent. He is coming over to the wedding. Oh,
-if you could see him--and he could see you!”
-
-“His seeing me is wholly unnecessary; but the other part might be
-accomplished. It would be a good idea to give me a card to the wedding
-if it takes place in a church. Then I could see all your people without
-their seeing me, and probably disapproving of our intimacy and breaking
-it up--or else putting it on a footing that would have no comfort in
-it.”
-
-“How _could_ they disapprove?” said Martha, deeply hurt. “How could they
-be anything but honored that I should be noticed at all by a great
-princess like you?”
-
-“Oh, there’s no greatness about this princess, child,” said the other,
-laughing. “Don’t expect to see me going around with a throne to sit on,
-in either a literal or a figurative sense. To you I am only Sonia--a
-fact which you seem to have forgotten, by the way! I wish you’d call me
-Sonia, and stop thinking about the princess. With your American ideas
-it, no doubt, seems much more important than it is. Are you going to
-tell your people about me really or not?”
-
-“No,” said Martha; “I wouldn’t for the world. It may be selfish, but I
-want you all to myself.”
-
-This was perfectly true; but at the same time, ignore it as she might,
-there was a lurking feeling in Martha’s heart that the princess was
-right in imagining that if her mother knew of the friendship that had
-sprung up between the two students at Etienne’s, she might insist upon
-investigating the princess--an indignity which Martha felt that she
-could not endure.
-
-The princess herself seemed pleased at Martha’s evident wish to
-monopolize her; and the two parted at last with the confidence and
-affection of old friends.
-
-
-
-
-IV
-
-
-THE days at the atelier had now a new interest for both students, and
-their work was manifestly the better for it. To Martha these days were
-filled with a glorious delight, which seemed to give her all that her
-nature craved; and if it had not been for sad thoughts of her brother
-and his loneliness, she would have felt that she could ask for nothing.
-
-To have the princess painting near her, and to be able to look up and
-see her beautiful figure, with its sinuous grace, posed before her
-easel, and to receive from her now and then a brilliant smile of mutual
-comprehension, was quite enough of personal bliss for Martha Keene.
-
-Martha had an ardent and romantic temperament, but she seemed to be
-capable of satisfying its needs vicariously. There undoubtedly are such
-women, though the like has possibly never existed in the other sex. For
-instance, it was a continual battle with her now to put down the
-temptation, which constantly assailed her, of imagining a meeting, an
-attraction, and finally a union between the brother who realized her
-romantic ideal of man and the friend who realized his complement in
-woman’s form. She knew it was impossible. She knew that Harold would
-never marry; and she even realized that if he could love again, after
-the manner in which he had loved one woman, he would, by that fact,
-compel her to lower her standard either of love or of him.
-
-And yet Martha felt that the meeting and blending of these two lives
-would, if she could have seen it, have satisfied every need of her
-heart. She believed that her pleasure and contentment in looking on at
-such a union as this would give her the greatest joy that could be for
-her--would indeed, in a way, give her the feeling of satisfied love.
-
-It was very hard to put down these imaginings; but she told herself that
-it must be done. Harold’s life and love had been given once, and she
-knew he was right in saying that they were not his to give again; and on
-the princess’s part, no doubt the idea would be a wild suggestion,
-indeed. Martha did not know what rigid laws of etiquette and convention
-might not bind the princess; and condescending as the latter had chosen
-to be with regard to herself, she felt that this beautiful lady would
-never do anything unworthy of her caste. Her husband, whether she had
-loved him or not, had no doubt been a great prince, whose name and title
-the woman on whom he had bestowed them would never consent to debase.
-The thing was hopeless and wrong, of course, and the idea must be put
-away from her. But it was hard to do, with her hero constantly in her
-mind, and her heroine constantly before her eyes.
-
-One day, after an unusually hard morning’s work, the princess invited
-Martha to go home to lunch with her, and to spend the afternoon at the
-Louvre, looking together at the pictures which they had so often enjoyed
-apart.
-
-When they reached the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, the princess was
-informed that her aunt had already finished her second breakfast, which
-she took with the regularity of clockwork, not depending upon the
-comings and goings of the rather erratic person who was the other
-member of the family. This the princess explained lightly, as she led
-the way to the dining-room. The servants by this time all knew Martha;
-and they looked upon her, as the friend of their mistress, with the most
-amiable glances. Not speaking the Russian language, Martha could show
-her good will only by a pleasant smile, in return for the evident
-pleasure which they showed in serving her.
-
-The princess threw her wrap backward over the chair, as she sat at the
-head of the round table, with her slender figure against a background of
-dark sable, and her head, in its large plumed hat, standing out from a
-halo of many-hued old stained-glass in the window behind. Martha,
-sitting opposite, fell into an unconsciously intent scrutiny of her
-face.
-
-It was certainly safe, Martha thought, to call this face beautiful, both
-for feature and character. The eyes were large, dark, brilliant, and
-fervidly suggestive. One wondered what those eyes had seen, were seeing,
-and were capable of discovering for others. The hair was a brilliant,
-waving brown, arranged in a loose mass that was still firm and lovely in
-its outline--hair, as Martha thought, that
-
-[Illustration: “HER HEAD, IN ITS LARGE PLUMED HAT.”]
-
-it must be sweet to touch with fingers and with lips. Also the girl
-thought one might well long to prove by touch whether that white skin
-was as smooth and fine as it looked. The firm, short nose was definitely
-pointed, and tilted upward, slightly lifting with it the short upper
-lip. Her chin was bewitching--at once strong and alluring. The mouth was
-very individual, and, as Martha studied it, she concluded that if she
-could tell why it was so charming, half the charm would be gone. For the
-first time it occurred to her to wonder how old the princess was.
-
-“You are wondering how old I am!” said the princess, almost taking the
-girl’s breath away.
-
-“I never knew anything so strange!” exclaimed Martha. “It was the very
-thought I had in my mind.”
-
-“Certainly, I read it there! I can do that, sometimes, with people who
-are very sympathetic to me. I fancy it would be rather dangerous for
-_you_ to do any very private thinking in my presence. I sometimes read,
-too, without reading aloud. I think I have read some of your thoughts
-lately, without your suspecting it.”
-
-She looked at Martha, over her cup of bouillon, and smiled. Martha felt
-herself blushing, as she wondered if that persistent and dominating
-thought about her brother, which had been so often in her mind of late,
-could have been perceived by this wonderful being. It frightened her so
-that she quickly changed the subject, and the remainder of the meal
-passed in less personal talk.
-
-When they were seated in the princess’s coupé, a little later, driving
-past the Arc de Triomphe, Martha saw her companion turning her head to
-look at it with lingering, earnest eyes.
-
-“I always look at the Arc whenever I can,” she said; “and it always has
-something to say to me. Its expression of strong beauty and repose
-always makes me feel that what is, is right. If I am happy, it makes me
-feel that joy is both good and permanent; and even when in times of
-unhappiness it makes me feel that sadness is permanent, it somehow seems
-to tell me that that too is good. Did you ever stand quite close to it
-and look up?”
-
-“No,” said Martha.
-
-“We must, some day, together. It will give you a new sensation.”
-
-“I always thought that it appeared better at a distance,” said Martha.
-
-“So it does, in a way; but the impression is different. I love it from
-the Place de la Concorde, when the horse-chestnuts are in bloom. Then it
-looks like a magnificent image of beneficence, stretching out two great
-arms to take in all those people, in carriages and on foot, who are
-thronging the Champs-Élysées, its body vague and distant in the clouds.
-That’s a sufficiently fantastic thought for you, if you like; but it is
-one that has comforted me. I love Paris. It is the only city that has
-ever seemed to me to be lovable. Its streets are so gay and clean, and
-the faces of the people one meets, along here at least, are so
-good-humored and intelligent. I love this mixture of fashion and
-ruralness. Look at the swells and the peasants driving side by side!
-Look at those white-aproned men drawing handcarts, that mail-coach
-coming alongside, those old peasants in their covered wagons, and that
-superb mounted policeman with his gorgeous trappings! How friendly and
-at home they all seem! Even that omnibus, with its three white
-Percherons abreast, looks sociable and friendly by the side of the
-_steppeurs_ of the _haute école_. Oh, it’s all very human and charming;
-or is it that you humanize me, and make me feel its charm more than I
-have done for many a day?”
-
-She was still in this delightful humor when they reached the Louvre, and
-made their way at once to pay their homage to the Venus of Milo. They
-did not say much as they looked at her, moving slowly from place to
-place to get the different points of view. Each knew what the other
-felt, and words seemed out of place. Presently the princess said:
-
-“I have a fancy to try an experiment. Let’s name her! What I mean is, if
-that were a real woman, what would you think the name best suited to
-her?”
-
-Martha smiled comprehendingly, and looked at the statue with a gaze of
-deep concentration. This changed, after a moment, into a smile, as she
-said:
-
-“I’ve named her. It’s so absurd, however,” she went on, “to give such a
-name as I’ve chosen to that ancient Greek statue, that I’m almost
-ashamed to tell it.”
-
-“You needn’t be,” said the princess, smiling too; “for I’ve got a name
-about which I have exactly the same feeling. Come; I’ll say mine first.
-It’s Gloriana.”
-
-“And mine is Georgiana! How odd that they should be so much alike!”
-
-“Isn’t it? It’s delightful, though; for it shows that there’s something
-in my theory of names, and that this statue has made almost exactly the
-same impression on us. I’m eager now to name the Winged Victory. Come;
-let’s go and look at her.”
-
-They hurried away to the foot of the wide staircase, where, looking up,
-they saw the magnificent creature with her great wings spread.
-
-After standing before her in silence a few moments, the princess
-exclaimed suddenly:
-
-“Oh, have you named her yet? A _perfect_ name for her has come to me!”
-
-“And to me, too--_perfect_!” said Martha. “How many syllables has
-yours?”
-
-“One.”
-
-“So has mine!” said the other, breathlessly. “Now let’s count three, and
-say the name.”
-
-Simultaneously they said: “One, two, three--_Ruth_!”
-
-Then they looked at each other with an excited delight that the
-passers-by must have thought rather amazing even for two artists
-looking at the Victory.
-
-“It’s the most wonderful thing I ever heard of,” said Martha. “Don’t you
-feel positively creepy?”
-
-“I should think I did! Little cold chills are running all over me. Oh,
-how nice it is that we can think and feel together in this way!”
-
-Her face, as she spoke, was glowingly beautiful; and Martha returned her
-gaze with a look which expressed what no words could possibly have
-done.
-
-
-
-
-V
-
-
-ONE morning the princess did not come to the atelier; and Martha, after
-working along without her for a while, thinking that her friend might
-have been delayed and hoping that she would come later, found her mind
-so preoccupied by the absence of her usual companion that her work would
-not go at all, and at last she concluded to stop trying, and to go to
-look the princess up.
-
-She called a cab, and drove to the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, where
-she was now well known. Even the old concierge, with her shining white
-hair, brilliant black eyes, red cheeks, and bearded upper lip, gave her
-a smile of welcome as she passed through the court; and the princess’s
-servant gave her another as he conducted her at once to his mistress’s
-boudoir.
-
-Here he left her. Martha tapped on the door, and waited. Getting no
-answer, she turned the knob and entered, intending to knock at the
-inner door; but no sooner had she shut herself into the room than she
-became aware, although it was almost wholly darkened, that it was not
-unoccupied.
-
-A stifled sound reached her ears, and she could now make out the figure
-of the princess, lying on the lounge, with her face buried in her hands.
-
-The girl’s heart ached with pity, and she did not know whether to yield
-to her own impulse, and to go forward, or to consult the possible
-preference of her friend, and go back.
-
-While she hesitated, the princess took her hands from her face, and saw
-her. As she did so, she started up, touching her eyes with her
-handkerchief, and clearing her voice to speak.
-
-“Is it you, Martha? Come in, child,” she said. “I have a headache
-to-day, and intended to see no one. I forgot, however, that I had given
-orders that you were always to be the exception. I should not have let
-you see me like this if I had known beforehand; but now that you have
-looked upon your poor friend in this humiliated state, sit down, and
-never mind.”
-
-[Illustration: “‘IS IT YOU, MARTHA?’”]
-
-Martha had come near, and now took the seat beside the lounge, her face
-tragic with sympathy.
-
-“I am so sorry you are ill,” was all that she could say.
-
-“I am not ill, really,” said the princess. She was lying back upon the
-lounge, and fanning her flushed face with her little gossamer
-handkerchief, which Martha could see was limp with tears. “My head does
-ache now, but I brought it on by this wretched crying. It’s all my own
-fault. You did not know that I was such a weakling, did you?” and she
-made an effort to smile.
-
-“Oh, I am so, so sorry!” said Martha, helplessly.
-
-“You needn’t be, dear. Never be sorry for any man or woman who is equal
-to his or her life--and I am equal to mine. One time out of ten it gets
-the better of me, but the nine times I get the better of it. This mood
-will surely pass. Indeed, it is passing now. You have helped me already.
-It has been very long indeed since I have found or wanted human help,
-and it takes me by surprise.”
-
-Martha saw that she was preparing to lead the talk away from her recent
-tears and their cause, and she passionately wished that her friend
-should feel that she longed to enter into her sorrow with her, if it
-could be allowed her; so she said impulsively:
-
-“I don’t suppose you feel like telling me your trouble; but oh, I wish
-you could!”
-
-“I do feel like it, you darling child! I could talk to you about it
-better than to any one on earth; but there are some things one cannot
-speak of even to one’s own heart. That is the trouble now. If I were to
-let myself indulge freely in imaginings and regrets, I should satisfy
-the want of the moment, but it would undo me utterly. My great
-temptation is regret, and I must be strong enough not to regret.”
-
-“Oh, how sad life is!” cried Martha. “I have always thought that you at
-least ought to be happy. I gave you the name of ‘The Happy Princess,’
-out of Tennyson. It has seemed to me from the first that you were a
-creature who had it in you to command happiness.”
-
-“Ah, dear child, if you could only know how helpless I am there! The
-best thing that is in me is the power to command courage. That I can,
-and for the most part do. While that is so, I shall not complain.”
-
-[Illustration: “‘OH, I AM SO, SO SORRY.’”]
-
-“Then you are really unhappy? Oh!” said Martha, drawing herself up with
-an impulsive movement.
-
-“I know what that fervent exclamation means as well as if you had put it
-into words,” said the princess. “You are wishing that there were some
-way in which, by sacrificing yourself, you could purchase happiness for
-me.”
-
-Martha, startled at the correctness of this guess, could say nothing in
-denial.
-
-“I knew it,” said the princess, reading her face. “I have not the
-faintest doubt that you would do it; and--now I am going to knock over
-some of your idealizing of me--there have been moments in my life when
-my greed for happiness has consumed me so that I believe I would have
-been willing to take it, and to let another pay the price. That’s a base
-thing for a woman to say of herself, but so true it is that I thank God
-I was never tempted when those moods were on me. Something not wholly
-different from that panting after an impossible joy was upon me this
-morning. Shall I never get the better of it utterly? _Can_ one overcome
-it? Did _you_ never have it, Martha? To me joy is impossible, but it is
-not so to you. Don’t you ever long for it? I will speak to you quite
-openly, Martha, and tell you this--when I say joy, I mean love. _Is_
-there a woman’s heart that does not long for that? Be as honest with me
-as I have been with you, and tell me.”
-
-“I will try,” said Martha. “I will do my best to be perfectly truthful.
-I _do_ long for happiness; but--this may seem strange to you, and you
-may even think that I am pretending to be better or more unselfish than
-others--”
-
-“That I _never_ will! I _know_ that isn’t so. Go on.”
-
-“I was going to say that the craving of my heart seems somehow to be
-impersonal. I want happiness intensely, but the way in which I want it
-is to see the beings whom I love best have it. Now there are two
-creatures in the world whom I love supremely--my brother and you. You
-know that this is so. If I could see both of you happy, in the manner
-and degree that I want, I believe that I could then be perfectly happy,
-too. I believe all the needs of my own heart could be answered in that
-way; and indeed I almost think that my greed for joy is as great as
-yours at times. It has strained my heart almost to bursting, in Harold’s
-case, and I feel now almost the same about you. I have never spoken of
-this to any one; indeed, I was never fully aware of it, I think, until I
-put it into words now. It must seem quite incredible to you.”
-
-“Not in the least. I believe it utterly, or rather it’s a stronger thing
-than belief with me. I feel that it is true. I admire you for it, and
-all the more because it is so different from me. I want happiness and
-love for myself--every ounce of flesh, every drop of blood in me longs
-for it as well as every aspiration of my soul. It is _self_ that I am
-thinking of when I get like this--my own power to enjoy, and also--oh,
-God _knows_ that this is true!--and also the power to give joy to
-another. Martha, I will tell you something,” she said, with a sudden
-change of tone, dropping her voice, and leaning forward to take both of
-Martha’s hands in hers as she spoke, with her eyes fixed intently on the
-girl’s. “I have known this joy. I have loved supremely, and been loved.
-You have never tasted that cup of rapture as I have; but then you have
-never known, as I have, the anguish of that renunciation. Which of us is
-the fortunate one? If you knew how I suffer you would probably say that
-it is you; but if, on the other hand, you knew what ecstasy I have had,
-I think that you might decide differently. Oh, if God would give me one
-more hour of it, I think I would be content! One more hour, to take it
-to the full, knowing that I must, after that, come back to what I suffer
-now! I think those sixty joy-absorbing minutes would make up to me for
-everything. But to have it _never again_!”
-
-She broke off, and, hiding her face in her hands, turned away, and lay
-for some moments quite silent and still. She was not crying--Martha
-could see that; and when she presently turned, and looked at the young
-girl, holding out both her hands to her, although there was no smile on
-her face, it showed that she had conquered her dark mood, and was strong
-again.
-
-It was a very gentle sort of strength, however, that was not too
-self-sufficient to feel pleasure in the words and looks and touches of
-quiet sympathy which Martha gave her now. They sat there, hand in hand,
-for a long time; and presently the princess said, with her own
-beautiful smile:
-
-“You have done me a world of good, Martha. My headache is gone, and also
-its cause. Sometimes, do you know,--I’m going to let you see just how
-weak I am,--sometimes I succumb for days to a mood like this. Nobody
-knows that tears have anything to do with the headaches that I suffer
-from--at least nobody but Félicie, and she gives no information. My aunt
-loves me dearly, but is no more acquainted with the real _me_ than if I
-were a stranger; and yet she adores me--perhaps for that reason. I tell
-her nothing, because the feelings that I have are quite outside her
-comprehension, while the headaches are quite within it. She recommends
-various powders and pellets, and is constantly getting new prescriptions
-for me. She says my headaches are of a very obstinate type, and I agree
-with her. To show you how completely you’ve cured me,” she added, rising
-to her feet, with an entire change of tone, “I am going to work this
-afternoon. You will stay and take your lunch with me, and then we’ll be
-there in time for the second model’s pose.”
-
-“I can’t stay,” said Martha, rising too; “but I will meet you there
-promptly. I am keeping my cab below, so that I may be back at the
-atelier by the time the carriage comes for me. You know how very quiet I
-am keeping my little escapades with you.”
-
-“Oh, to be sure!” exclaimed the other, smiling. “I had forgotten the
-necessity of that precaution. What _would_ ‘mama and the girls’ say? I
-think I shall write them an anonymous letter, saying that if madame had
-been under the impression that her eldest daughter devoted herself
-wholly to the pursuit of art during the hours of her absence from home,
-it might have surprised her had she seen the aforesaid young lady this
-morning come out of the atelier, call a cab, give a number, go to a
-distant apartment (where she was evidently well known to the concierge,
-who passed her on to a servant in Russian livery, who as evidently knew
-her well), enter, by a special passage, a certain room, where she
-remained shut in for a long time, emerging finally in great haste to
-drive rapidly in the cab, which she had kept waiting, back to the
-atelier in time to meet her own carriage, and come innocently home to
-join the family circle at lunch! Couldn’t I make out a case? And what
-_would_ the mother and the little sisters say?”
-
-Martha, too, laughed at the picture; but in spite of some discomfiture
-of feeling to which it gave rise, she had no idea of changing her
-tactics. The very thought of her mother’s going to work to investigate
-the princess, and ascertain if she were a proper friend for her
-daughter, smote the girl to the heart, and she resolved to guard her
-secret more carefully than ever. She determined that she would ease her
-conscience for the deception by confessing everything to her brother
-when he came. This would make it all right.
-
-As Martha drove back to the atelier, after an affectionate _au revoir_
-to the princess, she was conscious that something was rankling in her
-mind. When she came to search for the ground of this feeling, she found
-it to exist in the confession of love which the princess had made. This
-knowledge caused Martha to realize that she had not even yet succeeded
-in putting from her the imaginings by which she had connected her
-brother and her friend. Before knowing the princess she had always
-cherished the belief that her brother would sink below her ideal of him
-if he ever loved a second time. Lately, however, she had imagined the
-possibility of his telling her, after knowing the princess, that the old
-love was not the perfect one he had imagined it; and she could fancy
-herself forgiving him for loving a second time, with the princess as his
-apology. It had even seemed to her lately so monstrously wrong and cruel
-that Harold’s life should be wantonly wrecked that she was now prepared
-to accept a good deal more than would once have seemed possible, in
-order to see it mended.
-
-Martha, for all her demure appearance, had something that was more or
-less savage and lawless in her nature, especially where Harold was
-concerned; and the same feeling, in a lesser degree, dominated her in
-regard to the princess. She had long ago admitted to herself the fact
-that Harold had missed his chance of happiness in love; but it was as
-painful as it was unexpected to her to find that the princess too had
-loved before. She had known that she had been married, but with very
-little difficulty she had constructed for herself a theory of that
-marriage in which the princess had played the part of an innocent victim
-to circumstance. For instance, she might have been married by her
-parents in early youth to a man perhaps far older than herself, whom she
-had never loved, and for whose death she could not have grieved much.
-
-It was a surprise to Martha now to find how entirely she had let this
-utterly unfounded idea take possession of her. The words of the princess
-this morning had shattered it to atoms, and in spite of herself she felt
-strangely heavy-hearted.
-
-
-
-
-VI
-
-
-AFTER the morning on which Martha had been by accident a witness of the
-princess’s self-betrayal, there seemed nothing lacking to the complete
-understanding of the two friends, and their intimacy was now stronger
-and closer than ever. It was not practicable for Martha to visit the
-princess very often, as she was compelled to take the time for these
-visits out of her atelier hours, and both women were too earnest in
-their work not to begrudge this. Lately they had fallen into the custom
-of the generality of the students, and went for their midday meal to the
-_crèmerie_ in the neighborhood, after they had visited first the
-butcher’s shop, and selected their own mutton-chop or bit of beefsteak;
-then they had it cooked according to their directions. This, with fresh
-rolls and baked apples and milk, made an excellent meal, sometimes
-augmented by potato salad. Martha had been initiated into these
-mysteries by an American girl whose acquaintance she had made through
-the latter’s having once offered to help her on with her “josie,” a word
-which had established an easy footing between them at once.
-
-Martha never exchanged more than a passing remark with the other
-students, partly because she had, in the beginning, built a sort of
-barrier around her by her shyness, and, recently, because she felt that
-her intimacy with the princess, who knew none of the others, set her
-more than ever apart.
-
-One morning Martha came to the atelier rather late, and showed,
-moreover, a certain excitement in her movements and expression which she
-accounted for at lunch-time by telling the princess that her sister’s
-wedding had been hurried up, and was to take place almost immediately.
-
-There were several good reasons for this; one being that it suited much
-better the plans of the bridegroom elect, and another that Mrs. Keene,
-being in rather delicate health, had been urged by her physicians to
-leave Paris. So, as soon as the wedding was over, she was to go south
-with the younger girls and their governess; and Martha, who rebelled
-against being taken from her beloved painting, had a beautiful plan of
-getting her brother to stay awhile in Paris with her in their mother’s
-apartment. This she confided to the princess with breathless delight,
-saying that she had written to Harold about it, and told him to cable
-her if he were willing. Her friend could see that, with her usual
-license of imagination, Martha had been making all sorts of plans in
-connection with this scheme, and she more than suspected that some of
-these concerned herself.
-
-“My dear Martha,” she said, with a penetrating look into her friend’s
-eager eyes, “give it up at once, on the spot, if you have been making
-any plans to introduce your brother to me!”
-
-“Oh, _why_?” said Martha, in tones of the keenest regret.
-
-“Because, my dear, it is out of the question. If you knew how sick to
-death I am of men, you would not ask it. Please, if you love me, don’t
-speak of it again.”
-
-This, of course, was final, and Martha was compelled to bear her
-disappointment with what patience she could summon. She got a promise
-from the princess, however, that she would come to the wedding, which
-was to take place in the American church. At least this would give her
-the satisfaction of feeling in the future that her friend had seen her
-brother, and she hoped she might contrive in some way that the latter
-should see the princess, since it was now decreed that the intercourse
-could go no further.
-
-Great as Martha’s disappointment was, she forced herself to recognize
-the fact that, as things were, it might be all for the best that these
-two should not meet. She could imagine but one result of that meeting,
-and that, under existing circumstances, might be disastrous to both.
-Neither of them had fully confided in her, but both of them had told her
-plainly that a second love was the thing which they most strongly
-repudiated. In Harold’s case, she knew that this feeling was one that
-his conscience, no less than his heart, ordained; and in the case of the
-princess, she somehow felt that it was the same.
-
-The princess, for some reason, did not tell Martha what a notable
-exception to her rule she made in going to this wedding. The fact was,
-she had never been to any wedding since her own; and it may have been
-that fact which accounted for the state of intense excitement which she
-was in as she drove alone in her carriage through the streets of Paris
-to the church in the Avenue de l’Alma.
-
-As she got out, and instructed her coachman where to wait, this inward
-excitement showed in every rapid movement and word. Afterward, when she
-entered the church, and walked, with a definiteness of manner which
-would seem to have indicated a prearranged plan, straight down the
-left-hand aisle to the choir-stalls, her face was flushed and her eyes
-were brilliant. It was early, and few people had come as yet.
-
-The princess wore a long, dark cloak, which concealed her figure, and on
-her large hat, which hid the outline of her head, a rather thick Russian
-veil was fastened, so that her features were scarcely distinguishable.
-
-There was a shaded corner near the organ, behind the chorister-stalls,
-that was quite screened from the congregation, and so situated as to be
-almost out of view from the chancel also, if one chose to protect one’s
-self behind the great pillar that stood there. The day was dark and
-cloudy, but the chancel was brilliant with lighted candles. The
-princess with firm confidence walked to this place, and took her seat.
-She did not seem to care whether the church was filling up or not. She
-scarcely noticed when some people came and took the seats near her. In
-these moments she was so lost in thoughts and reminiscences that the
-furious beating of her heart almost suffocated her.
-
-When, from just behind her, a great organ-note swelled forth, and filled
-the church with tremulous vibrations, the princess gave a little
-fluttered start. No one was near enough to observe this, however, or to
-see the crouching back into her seat which followed it. The music seemed
-to heighten her emotion, and she trembled visibly. She quite lost count
-of time, and did not know how long it was before she saw a clergyman
-enter the chancel and stand there, waiting. Then, as two officers in
-rich uniforms came and took their places in front of him, the sonorous
-chords of the old familiar Mendelssohn march swelled from the organ, and
-the heart within her seemed to stop and sink. It was the sound and
-influence to which, in perfect joy, she had walked to her own wedding.
-
-She knew that the bridal procession was coming up the aisle, but she did
-not turn her head to get a view into the church. She felt the people
-about her rise to their feet, but she sat still. Her trembling limbs
-would not have held her up; but she did not even know that she was
-trembling. She knew only that she was waiting--that all her heart and
-all her soul were wrapped in a bewildering suspense until the coming of
-what was very near her now. They passed close to her, the girls in their
-white dresses, and the officers in their glittering uniforms, and stood
-in divided ranks, leaving the space between them clear.
-
-Into this space, directly in front of the clergyman, there now advanced
-a woman covered with a cloud of gauzy tulle. She leaned upon the arm of
-the only man in the party who was not in uniform.
-
-It was on this figure that the princess fastened her eyes, never once
-removing them until the short ceremony had come to an end. The bride was
-a shapeless blur. The bridesmaids were a billowy cloud. The officers
-were mere dazzles of color and gold lace. One object there was that cut
-its way into her consciousness with acute distinctness--the dark-clad,
-
-[Illustration: “THE MAN WHO STOOD WAITING TO GIVE THE BRIDE.”]
-
-clearly outlined figure and pale profile of the man who stood waiting to
-give the bride.
-
-When the music ceased, and the minister told the congregation that they
-were assembled to join together this man and this woman in holy
-matrimony, it was another man and woman that she thought of; and so
-through all the solemn charge and searching questioning that followed.
-
-When the minister asked, “Who giveth this woman to be married?” and the
-man that she had been watching gave up his companion with a slight
-inclination of the head, and moved aside, the gaze of the princess still
-followed and rested on him. When, a moment later, a strange foreign
-voice said painstakingly, “I, Victor, take thee, Alice, to my wedded
-wife,” what she heard, in natural and familiar English utterance was
-this: “I, Harold, take thee, Sophia, to my wedded wife, to have and to
-hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for
-poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us
-do part, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I plight thee my
-troth.” And it was her own voice which made answer: “I, Sophia, take
-thee, Harold.”
-
-A hard clutch was on her heart. He was there--the Harold who had made
-that vow to her; and she, Sophia, was here, in life, not death! “Till
-death us do part,” they had both of them sworn, and they had let life
-part them! The terrible wrong of it all rushed over her. The reasons
-which had made that parting seem to her right before now vanished into
-air. She felt that crime alone could ever link one of them to another.
-She felt that this separation between them was in itself a crime, and
-she who had done it the chief of criminals.
-
-All this she felt with terrifying force, but a feeling stronger than
-even any of these had taken possession of her--a want and longing had
-awakened in her heart which strained it almost intolerably. She looked
-at the bride’s brother, standing there intensely still, in an attitude
-of complete repose, and a feeling that he was hers, and hers alone took
-possession of her. She grew reckless of appearances, and stood up in her
-place, with her face turned full toward him. She heard the clergyman’s
-stern behest that man put not asunder those whom God hath joined, and
-she heard him pronounce that they were man and wife, in the name of the
-Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Her heart said a solemn
-amen.
-
-Imagination lingered on these thrilling thoughts while the blessing was
-pronounced and the service ended; and then the little procession, the
-bride and bridegroom at its head, and the figure that she watched at his
-mother’s side behind them, passed her and went down the aisle, while the
-familiar music was playing, to which she had walked from the altar a
-blissfully happy wife--and she was left alone!
-
-The organist quickly closed the organ, and hurried away. The people near
-her moved off too; and still she sat there motionless, feeling herself
-deserted and most miserable. A boy, putting out the candles, roused her
-to consciousness, and somehow she got out of the place.
-
-
-
-
-VII
-
-
-MRS. KEENE’S apartment on the Place de la Madeleine was a scene of
-joyful commotion and confusion. The small breakfast which followed the
-wedding was an informal affair; and though it was supposed that only the
-nearest personal friends were present, the rooms were cheerfully
-crowded, and the uniforms made a show and glitter. The charming girls
-who were permitted to be their sister’s bridesmaids were the object of
-much notice and attention; and when the company had risen from the
-table, the eldest sister, who was so much the least pretty and
-vivacious, was scarcely missed from the room. A few people inquired for
-the bride’s brother, who had also disappeared; but as he was a stranger
-to every one, the fact of his absence was little noticed.
-
-Martha, when she went to look for Harold, found him in his own room,
-smoking.
-
-“I knew it was you,” he said, as she came in, closing the door behind
-her. “I thought you would come to look me up; but why did you? I’m poor
-company for anybody to-day. Well,” he added, with a short, deep breath,
-“thank the Lord, that’s over! When you get married, Martha, I want you
-to elope. I’ve no business at a wedding. I feel that I have cast an evil
-eye on Alice and Victor.”
-
-“Oh, Harold, I was thinking of you more than of them all the time,” said
-Martha, earnestly. “It did seem absolute cruelty to have required it of
-you. How _could_ mama!”
-
-Concentrated as her tone and manner were, she was doubtful whether they
-even penetrated the consciousness of her companion, who, with his chair
-tipped backward, his frock-coat thrown open, with a ruthless disregard
-of the smart gardenia which ornamented its lapel, and his hands thrust
-deep into his trousers pockets, was smoking vigorously, and looking away
-from her out of the window.
-
-Martha had come here in the ardent hope of giving comfort, and she felt
-a little hurt. She smothered the feeling back into her heart, however,
-as she said:
-
-“I knew it was anguish to you, standing there and going through that
-ceremony.”
-
-He turned, and looked at her.
-
-“Well, rather!” he said, with a short laugh, still keeping the cigar in
-his mouth, and talking with his teeth clenched upon it. Then he turned
-his face toward the window again; but his glance was so vague that
-Martha felt that he saw some picture in his mind, rather than the scene
-below. “The service was the same,” he said, clasping his hands behind
-his head, and narrowing his eyes as if to get the perspective. “The
-music was the same--and those roses! And that was not all. Vivid as she
-always is to me in every other respect, I have not always been able to
-hold on to her voice; but to-day I heard it perfectly, saying, ‘I,
-Sophia, take thee, Harold,’ and all the rest.”
-
-He got up suddenly, threw his cigar into the grate, and walked across
-the room.
-
-“Oh, poor Harold!” Martha said, her voice thick with tears.
-
-The effect of her words was instantaneous. He turned suddenly, and
-showed in both face and figure a swiftly summoned and effectual calm.
-
-“My dear girl,” he said quickly, “you don’t suppose I’m posing for an
-injured husband, I hope? I have suffered, of course; but with a man
-certain kinds of suffering get to be a business. To speak of it seems
-like talking shop. It’s detestable to be talking it to you now; but the
-truth is, this wedding affair has nearly knocked me out. I could have
-gone on keeping up the bluff, of course, and talked the usual bosh with
-the wedding-guests in yonder; but I found I had a contract with myself
-that had to be seen to. It has cost me something to smooth out and
-harden down my thoughts and feelings about my own life; but I had got
-the thing done. This wedding business, however, upheaved it all. When I
-found that I was actually sinking into the mushy swamp of self-pity, I
-thought it was about time to come away, and steady up my nerve a bit.
-I’m all right now, however, and I see clear again. The thing’s over, and
-no harm is done.”
-
-Martha’s eyes followed him wistfully as he turned to the dressing-table,
-picked up a brush, and smoothed the swart surface of his thick, dark
-hair, brushed some specks of dust from his coat, and carefully
-straightened the injured flower.
-
-“Shall we go back?” he said. “We may be missed.”
-
-“Don’t go quite yet. No one will think about us,” she said; and then she
-added doubtfully: “May I talk to you a little, Harold?”
-
-“Certainly, my dear. Talk all you want,” he answered, sitting down;
-“only there’s nothing to say.”
-
-“Where is she? I’ve so often longed to know.”
-
-“I haven’t the least idea. She asked me not to follow her movements, and
-I never have.”
-
-“Then you do not even know whether she is living or dead?”
-
-“Yes; I know that much. She is not dead. I feel her in the world. If she
-went out of it, I believe I should know it. Besides, I would have been
-informed of that. She spoke of it, and said so.”
-
-There was a moment’s pause, which Martha broke.
-
-“Will you tell me this,” she said, “whether you are as hopeless about it
-all as you were when I last spoke to you of it?”
-
-“Exactly as hopeless. When a thing is absolute, my dear, it doesn’t
-have degrees. I have never been anything else than hopeless since the
-hour of my last interview with her. She told me then,” he said, with a
-sort of cold conciseness, “that her first wish was to set me absolutely
-free. She said she wanted me to marry again. She said that just as soon
-as we had lived apart the time required by law for a divorce, she wanted
-me to get it. She said she was sorry there was no way to get it sooner.
-She said, also, that she would take back her maiden name.”
-
-He got up, thrust his hands into his pockets, and, walking over to the
-window, stood there for a moment. Then he turned suddenly, and came and
-stood in front of Martha, looking her directly in the eyes. She saw by
-that look that he was calm and steady, and so she ventured to question
-him a little further.
-
-“Do you know whom she lives with?” she asked.
-
-“With an aunt, whose life, as she told me, is utterly out of the world
-that we knew together. She said that, on this account, there was good
-reason to hope that we would never meet again.”
-
-Martha, who felt that this subject might not be spoken of between them
-again, continued to question him as he stood and looked down at her with
-a perfect consciousness of self-possession.
-
-“Was she so beautiful?” she asked.
-
-“Yes,” he said.
-
-“And are you still unchanged in giving her the supreme place that you
-did give her from the moment you first saw her?”
-
-“Yes,” he said again.
-
-“Oh, Harold,” exclaimed the girl, “I sometimes think it might have
-turned out differently if the marriage had not been so rash and sudden.”
-
-He took a seat near her, and continued to look at her as he said:
-
-“It could have made no difference to me. You don’t fully understand it,
-Martha. It is impossible that you should. I knew, the day I met her,
-that I had been set apart and saved for her. I know it now. It was the
-kind of gravitation that comes once in a life.”
-
-“Then you do not regret it?”
-
-“For myself, not in the least. She was my wife for a month. What I have
-gone through since is a small price to pay for that. But when I think
-of what it has cost her--that most delicate of women--to face the odium
-of it--that superb woman’s life shadowed by the vulgarity of a suddenly
-ruptured marriage; and--deeper than that!--to have her best life maimed
-forever--God! I curse the day that I was born!”
-
-“And what has she brought on you, I’d like to know?” cried Martha. “It
-was she who cast you off--not you her. Ah, Harold, if she had been the
-woman she should have been, she never could have done it!”
-
-He looked at her with some impatience in his glance.
-
-“Whether she was the woman she should have been or not is a thing that
-neither concerns nor interests me. She was the woman I loved. The whole
-thing is in that.”
-
-“And the woman you still love? Is that true, Harold?”
-
-“True as death,” he said; “but what does it all matter? Your
-relentlessness is the friend’s natural feeling. It shows how bootless it
-is to give account. I care more for your opinion than any other, but
-even your scorn does not signify to me here. It misses the point. The
-only pride that is involved is pride in my own immutability. Love ought
-always to be a regeneration,” he went on, as if putting into shape the
-thoughts that were rising out of the recent chaos in his mind. “It’s
-easy enough to keep true when the love, the joy, the equal give and
-take, go on unbroken. It’s when a man actually turns and walks out of
-heaven, and the gates shut behind him forever, that he finds out the
-stuff that’s in him. Sometimes, when I think about it, I try to fancy
-what would be my humiliation if I found I had grown to love her less.”
-
-Martha was silent a moment. Then she said, as if urged by the necessity
-of speaking out, for this once, all that she had so long kept back:
-
-“Suppose, after you get the divorce, you should hear that she was
-married?”
-
-“I’m braced to bear that, if it comes,” he said. “I know it is possible,
-but I don’t fear it. I may, of course, be wrong; but I don’t believe,
-with what has been between us, that she could ever be the wife of
-another man while I lived. She might think so. She might even try--go
-part of the way; but I never felt more secure of anything than that she
-would find herself unable to do it.”
-
-“Then do you think that she possibly still cares for you?”
-
-“No; I’m not a fool. She made that point sufficiently plain. Didn’t she
-tell me, in the downright, simple words, that she did not love me--had
-never loved me--had found out it was all a mistake? I believe she meant
-it absolutely. I believe it was true. You don’t suppose, if I doubted
-it, I’d have given her up as I have done?”
-
-“Oh, Harold, what was it all about, that quarrel that you had? Could you
-bear to tell me?”
-
-“There’s nothing to tell. We thought we were perfectly suited, perfectly
-sympathetic. Our feelings had stood every test but marriage. When it
-came to that, they failed. It was a case of non-adjustment of
-feelings--different points of view--different natures, perhaps. I saw
-facing me the demand that I should change myself, root and branch, and
-become a different creature from what God had made me. This I could not
-do. I might have pretended and acted, but she was not the woman to
-tolerate the wretched puppet of a man which that would have made of me.
-_Her_ changing was a thing I never thought of. I was never mean enough
-to think that a woman was bound to sacrifice her individuality in
-marriage. Why should a wife surrender that sacred citadel any more than
-a husband? How odious should I feel myself, if I had ever taken that
-position in the slightest degree! And shams were out of the question
-with us. Neither of us could have tolerated anything uncandid--anything
-that smacked of a tacit convention.”
-
-There was a moment’s pause, and then Martha broke out impulsively:
-
-“I can’t help thinking that it might have been prevented. It may be that
-you were too proud. Have you ever thought that?”
-
-“No,” he said, with a certain grimness. “I have never taken that view of
-the case. She made it so entirely plain that she wanted to be rid of me
-at once and forever--that there was no room for reflection on that
-point. If there is a man alive who could have held her bound after her
-words to me, I hope I may never make his acquaintance.”
-
-The appearance of agitation which had marked the beginning of the
-interview was now utterly gone from Harold. He spoke deliberately, and
-as if with a certain satisfaction in the sense of getting his thoughts
-into form.
-
-Again there was a pause. Then Martha said, speaking very low:
-
-“But, Harold, you are doing without love.”
-
-“I have had it,” he answered, “and what has been is mine, to keep
-forever. I have lost my wife, but the greatness, the exaltation, of my
-love increases. I have learned that love is subjective and independent.
-A renunciation is only an episode in it. I deserve no pity. No, Martha;
-never fall into the mistake of pitying me. I should pity you from my
-heart if I thought you would miss what I have had; and the gods may be
-lenient to as sweet a soul as yours. You may have the joy, some day,
-without the renunciation.”
-
-“I don’t want it! I wouldn’t have it!” cried the girl, vehemently. “No
-one will ever love me, and I wouldn’t have them to. It would break my
-heart. It makes me seem ridiculous even to speak of it. I want _you_ to
-have love and joy. That is all I ask.”
-
-“Well, I’ve had it. Be satisfied. Of the two of us,--except that you
-have hope, which I have not,--you are the one to be pitied.”
-
-“Oh, Harold, _don’t_! Unless you want to break my heart outright, don’t
-talk to me about being happy. I want happiness for _you: I’ve_ got no
-use for it.”
-
-She got up as she spoke, and moved toward him. Harold stood up, too, and
-bent to kiss her. Demonstrations between them were unusual, and it was a
-very Martha-like instinct that made her now so incline her head as to
-receive his caress upon her hair.
-
-“We will go back to the others now,” said Harold. “Thank you, Martha.”
-
-So together they went back to the wedding-party.
-
-[Illustration: “‘I KNEW IT WAS ANGUISH TO YOU.’”]
-
-[Illustration: “AS SHE HAD SEEN HER ONCE BEFORE.”]
-
-
-
-
-VIII
-
-
-THE day after the wedding, when the bridal pair had left Paris by one
-train and the bride’s mother and younger sisters by another, when Harold
-had gone off to attend to some business which formed one part of the
-reason of his coming to Paris, Martha, having now full use of the
-carriage, ordered it to wait outside the atelier while she went in to
-see if the princess was there. It confirmed a suspicion which had
-somehow got into her head when she found that her friend was absent.
-With scarcely a glance at the model and the busy students, she withdrew,
-and, reëntering her carriage, ordered her coachman to drive her to the
-Rue Presbourg.
-
-Upon going at once to her friend’s private rooms, she found her lying on
-the lounge in semi-darkness, as she had seen her once before; but now
-there were no tears, nor any trace of them.
-
-“I have a real headache this time,” she said, as she stretched out her
-hand, with a smile. “It’s better than it was, though, and I am glad to
-see you.”
-
-“Were you at the wedding?” was Martha’s first eager question, when she
-had kissed her friend and taken the seat beside her.
-
-“Yes, I was there,” said the other promptly. “How charming you looked in
-your bridesmaid’s dress, and how handsome your Alice really is!”
-
-She wondered what Martha would think if she knew the truth--that she had
-seen Alice and herself scarcely more than if they had not been present!
-
-“And you saw Harold?” was the next question.
-
-“Yes; I saw your paragon of paragons,” was the answer, spoken in light
-and well-guarded tones.
-
-Martha’s face fell. Still, she was too earnest to be lightly rebuffed,
-so she went on:
-
-“And what did you think of him? Now, Sonia, don’t tease me! You know how
-important it is to me--what you think of Harold. Do tell me, dear, and
-don’t laugh.”
-
-In response to this earnest appeal the princess’s face grew grave. She
-did not look at Martha, however, but occupied herself with twisting up
-her loosened hair as she answered:
-
-“I thought him handsome, dear. I thought his face both strong and
-clever. I could understand you loving him so much. I could see nothing
-in his face, or figure, or expression, that looked in the least degree
-unworthy of the great ideal that you have of him. There! Does that
-satisfy you?”
-
-She caught Martha’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, and for a
-second she met her gaze full. Then she got up hastily, and walked across
-the room.
-
-When she presently came back, she had the air of a person thoroughly on
-guard, and conscious of her ability to cope with circumstances. She did
-not return to the lounge, but sat upright on a stiff sofa which admitted
-of no lounging. Martha, glowing with pleasure at her heroine’s praise of
-her hero, was determined to follow up her advantage.
-
-“Oh, you will take back what you said, and let me bring him to see
-you--won’t you, Sonia?” she said ardently. “We are going to have the
-apartment to ourselves for weeks, Harold and I; and we three could have
-such ideal times--such little dinners and jaunts to the play! As things
-are with you both, I think there is all the more reason for you to know
-each other. You could be such friends! I should think a real man friend
-would be such a comfort to you. You seem made for that sort of
-_camaraderie_, as well as for love. And what a comfort the friendship of
-such a woman as you would be to Harold! I feel myself at times so
-inadequate to him, and I have the very same feeling, sometimes, with
-you. I will confess to you, Sonia, that I did have a hope once, even
-though you are a princess and he just a simple American gentleman, that
-you and Harold might some time, after years, come to be something to
-each other; but I have given that up. I see that it is impossible to
-either of you. I had a talk with Harold yesterday, and he is as much
-protected by his past as you are by yours. So there could be no danger
-to either in such an intercourse. Oh, Sonia, _won’t_ you consent to it?”
-
-There was great gravity and deliberation in the tones of the princess as
-she answered impressively:
-
-“Now, Martha, listen to me. I want you to put that idea out of your head
-at once and forever. You will do this, I am sure, when I tell you how
-it distresses me and embarrasses our whole intercourse. You are quite
-mistaken in supposing that I have either a need or a desire for the
-friendship of any man alive. You really must believe me when I tell you
-that I am sick of men. One reason that I have so entirely given up
-society is that they fret me so with their offers of what you and they
-call friendship. I did have men friends once, and I know what they
-amount to. While I was married, my--I mean the man I married--was my
-friend. Since I lost him I have never had another.”
-
-As she ended, she rose and walked across the room. Her tone was so
-decided that Martha felt that she could say nothing more, and so, with a
-sigh, she gave up this dream too.
-
-In a moment the princess returned, bringing two photographs, which she
-had taken from a drawer.
-
-“I have been looking at some old pictures this morning,” she said. “This
-one was taken when, as a girl, I was presented at the English court.”
-
-She was silent while Martha was uttering her glowing words of praise,
-as she looked at the photograph of the beautiful young girl in her white
-court-dress with plumes and veil; and then she put the other into her
-hand, saying quietly:
-
-“This was taken in my wedding-dress, a few days after my marriage.”
-
-Her manner indicated a controlled excitement, but she was quite
-unprepared for the effect that this photograph had upon Martha. The girl
-fixed her eyes upon it with a sort of greedy delight, and while she drew
-in her breath with thick, short respirations, the hand that held the
-picture trembled.
-
-“I can see it all!” she exclaimed. “Oh, Sonia, were you ever really as
-happy as that? What were you looking at, with your head turned in that
-eager way?”
-
-“Yes, I was a Happy Princess once, my dear. But you are a wonderful
-creature, Martha! No one but you ever thought to ask that question, so I
-have been saved the embarrassment of explaining. Since you have asked
-me, I will tell you that I was looking at my husband. While the
-photographer was posing me in various ways, my husband was waiting for
-me. He was supposed to be out
-
-[Illustration: “‘OH, SONIA, WERE YOU EVER REALLY AS HAPPY AS THAT?’”]
-
-of sight, but I heard a newspaper rustle, and looked quickly around, and
-caught a glimpse of him, between two screens, seated quietly and
-unconsciously reading the paper. One of those great rushes of passionate
-tenderness which the sight of the man she loves can sometimes bring to a
-woman’s heart came over me. At that moment the photographer got the
-instantaneous impression. I don’t know why I should tell you all this,
-except that you saw it all there. To other people there never seemed any
-special significance in the picture.”
-
-She reached out her hand to take back the photographs, but Martha handed
-her only the first.
-
-“Oh, Sonia, _let_ me keep this!” she begged. “It is such delight to me
-to look at it!”
-
-“No, dear; I couldn’t. No one but myself should ever see that picture. I
-ought not perhaps to have shown it to you. It was just an impulse.
-Promise never to speak of either of these pictures--not even to me. You
-never will?”
-
-“Never,” said Martha, sadly, as she gave the picture up. Her friend took
-it, and, without glancing at it, locked it away in a drawer.
-
-When she came back her whole manner had changed. She began at once to
-talk about her work at the atelier, and told Martha that Étienne wished
-her to enter a picture for the Salon. The wedding preparations had kept
-Martha at home a good deal lately, and the princess had some interesting
-bits of news to give her. She was very graphic in her account of some of
-Étienne’s last criticisms, and got into high spirits, in which Martha,
-somehow, could not entirely take part.
-
-The girl went away at last rather heavy-hearted. This conversation had
-deprived her of her last hope of bringing the princess and her brother
-together. She had an engagement with Harold for the afternoon, so she
-could not go to the atelier; but she promised to meet the princess there
-in good time next morning.
-
-That afternoon she indulged herself in giving her brother a brief
-account of her romantic friendship. She did not, however, mention the
-name by which the princess was known to her, or any but the external
-facts in the case.
-
-As she had foreseen, her brother made no objection to the intercourse,
-and told her she had been very wise to keep the whole thing to herself.
-He did not seem in the least surprised that the princess refused to make
-his acquaintance, and explained it to Martha by saying that she was
-probably an independent and self-willed young woman, who was disposed to
-suit only herself in the matter of friends; but that this was not
-inconsistent with a certain regard for conventionalities, and it was
-probable that she did not care to bother with her family, or even to
-take the trouble to find out anything about them. Martha felt that her
-brother was moderately interested in the matter because of its relation
-to herself; but in spite of all her enthusiasm she could not feel that
-she had inspired him with any special interest in the princess, or any
-appreciably greater desire to make her acquaintance than she had shown
-to make his.
-
-
-
-
-IX
-
-
-A FEW days later Martha came to the atelier in a state of only
-half-concealed excitement. She had a plan which she broached to the
-princess with some timidity. She began by saying that her brother was
-compelled to be absent from Paris during the whole of the next day, and
-that, as it was Sunday, and there would be no work at the atelier, she
-would have the whole day on her hands.
-
-“Come and spend it with me,” said the princess.
-
-“Oh, if you would only come and spend it with _me_!” said Martha, so
-wistfully that her friend laughed gaily, and said:
-
-“Why not?”
-
-“Harold takes an early train, and will not be back until night,” said
-Martha; “and it would be such joy to have you in my own room, sitting in
-my own chair, lying on my own bed, standing on my own rugs, and giving
-me sweet associations with these things forever.”
-
-“Of course I’ll come--with pleasure,” said Sonia, pausing in her work to
-answer Martha’s whispered words.
-
-So, in this dream, at least, Martha was not to be disappointed; and she
-parted from her friend with the delightful expectation that she was to
-see her next as her guest.
-
-The young girl waked early next morning, and had her first breakfast
-with her brother; and after he had gone she found the time long while
-she waited for her visitor. No definite hour had been agreed upon, and
-she was afraid that the princess would come far too late to suit her
-eager longing. Still she had not liked to urge too much upon her.
-
-Martha had ordered heaps of flowers to make her room and the little
-boudoir which adjoined it look attractive; and she took Harold in to
-inspect them before he went away. He rushed through hurriedly, said
-everything was charming, gave her a hasty kiss, and was gone.
-
-She stood at the window, which looked upon the Place de la Madeleine,
-and waited a long time, thinking deeply. The flower-market below was
-unusually rich, as the day was warm and springlike; and it presently
-occurred to her that among the glowing masses of bloom exposed to view
-there were some varieties of flowers which she did not have. She
-therefore determined to fill up a part of the time of waiting by going
-down to get some of these. Hastily putting on her hat, she ran down the
-winding stairway, crossed the open space, and was soon threading her way
-among the flower-stalls under the shadow of the beautiful great church.
-She kept her eye on the entrance to her apartment-house, however; and as
-she knew the princess’s carriage and livery, she felt that there was no
-danger of failing to see her friend, should she happen to arrive during
-her brief absence.
-
-The princess, however, did not come in her carriage, or, rather, she
-sent it away after having crossed the thronged streets of the Place de
-la Concorde, and, wrapped in her dark cloak, she walked quickly along
-with the foot-passengers until she reached the house of which she was in
-search. Then she slipped quietly in, and mounted the steps to the third
-story.
-
-Her ring was answered by a man-servant,
-
-[Illustration: “‘I BEG YOUR PARDON,’ HE SAID AGAIN.”]
-
-who explained that his young mistress had just gone down to the
-flower-market for a moment, and who ushered her into the large salon to
-wait.
-
-Scarcely was she seated there when the bell rang again, and the servant
-opened the door to admit Harold. He had forgotten an important paper,
-and had come back for it in great haste. He knew that it was his part to
-avoid the princess in case she should have arrived; but concluding that
-she would, of course, be with Martha in her own rooms, he came directly
-into the salon, which was the nearest way of reaching his own apartment.
-
-When he had entered, and the door was closed behind him, he took two or
-three steps forward, and then stopped as if petrified in his place.
-
-The princess had risen to her feet, and stood confronting him, her face
-as pale and agitated as his own.
-
-“I beg your pardon,” he said, taking off his hat mechanically; “did you,
-perhaps, wish to see me?”
-
-“No,” she answered; “I wished to see your sister. She has gone across to
-the flower-market.”
-
-Her eyes had fallen under his, and she felt that she was trembling as
-she stood in front of him and answered his questions as mechanically as
-a stupid child.
-
-“I beg your pardon,” he said again; and he seemed to grow paler still as
-he stood there irresolute.
-
-“Do you wish to see my sister alone?” he then said. “I don’t understand.
-Do you wish me to stay or to go?”
-
-“I wish you to go,” she said, rallying a little as the thought occurred
-to her that Martha might return. “Your sister is expecting me. I came
-with the understanding that you were to be away.”
-
-A light broke over him, but it cast a sudden shadow on his face.
-
-“You are, then, the princess of whom she has spoken to me,” he said. “I
-beg your pardon.”
-
-“I am Sophia Rutledge,” she said. “Martha believes me to be a princess,
-and I let her think it. Some one in the atelier told her so. What will
-you tell her now?”
-
-“Exactly what you wish.”
-
-“Say nothing. Let her keep her delusion. Her friendship is dear to me; I
-do not wish it turned to hate.”
-
-[Illustration: “AMONG THE FLOWER STALLS.”]
-
-“I shall say nothing,” he said.
-
-They both stood silent there a moment, looking away from each other.
-Then the woman, feeling her knees grow weak and trembling under her,
-sank back into her seat; and the man, urged by some impulse of
-self-protection which demanded that he should fly, had bowed and left
-the room before she had quite recovered from the momentary dizziness
-which had possessed her as she fell into her chair. She heard the front
-door close behind him presently, and knew that he was gone. Then she
-felt that she must brace herself to meet Martha calmly.
-
-When the young girl, a few moments later, came in with her load of
-flowers, and smilingly uttered her apologies and surprise at having
-missed her, her friend’s senses seemed somehow to return, and she was
-able to answer calmly.
-
-It seemed to Martha that the beautiful princess looked ill, and she was
-tenderly anxious about her; but she little suspected that during those
-few moments of her absence Sonia and her old love had been face to face,
-or, more marvelous still, that Harold had seen again the woman who had
-been his wife.
-
-
-
-
-X
-
-
-THE impression left upon the mind of Sonia by that meeting with Harold
-was an intensely disturbing one. Even the stirrings of old feeling, and
-the memories of past pleasures and pains, which the sight of him had
-recalled, were less strong in her than a certain feeling of humiliation.
-She felt that she had been overcome by so great a weakness that she must
-have made a self-betrayal of which it nearly maddened her to think.
-Knowing how completely she had been thrown off her guard by this totally
-unexpected meeting, she felt that every emotion of her heart, which she
-herself was so conscious of, had been laid bare to him, and she could
-not rest for the torment of that thought. Her hours with Martha were
-therefore disturbed and unsatisfactory to them both; and when, soon
-after the mid-day meal, Martha asked her if she would like to drive, she
-accepted the relief of that idea with alacrity, only stipulating that
-they should not go to the crowded Bois.
-
-Martha ordered the carriage, and they drove about for an hour or two,
-stopping several times to go in and look at churches which they had
-often seen, but never entered. In some of these vespers were in
-progress, and they paid their sous for seats near the door, and sat down
-for a few moments; but the music played too dangerously upon Sonia’s
-overwrought feelings, and she hurried her friend away.
-
-In one or two of the smaller churches there were only silent kneeling
-figures here and there, and the two women walked about, looking at the
-mixture of dignified antiquity and tawdry decoration on every side, and
-reading the tablets all about the approach to the chancel, erected as
-thank-offerings to Mary and Joseph for favors granted. In spite of her
-inward perturbation, Sonia could not help smiling at the economy of
-words on some of these. One or two had merely, “Merci, Joseph,” or
-“Merci, Marie et Joseph,” while the more elaborate ones recorded the
-thanks of the giver of the tablet for a favor received--the restoration
-of a beloved child from illness, the conversion of an erring son, the
-rescue of a husband from shipwreck, and even the miraculous
-intervention of Mary and Joseph to restore to health a little boy who
-had been gored by a bull. The very ignorance of it was touching to the
-two women, and the conviction that it was in each of these poor hearts a
-reaching upward kept them from feeling any scorn.
-
-As they returned to their carriage, Martha, who during the recent scene
-had been furtively watching her friend’s face, now saw upon it an
-expression which she was at a loss to account for. Was it, she wondered,
-religious devotion, stirred by the associations of the church, which
-made the lovely face beside her look so passionately tense with feeling?
-For the first time it occurred to her to wonder what her friend’s
-religion was.
-
-“Are you a Catholic, Sonia?” she said.
-
-The answer came impulsively:
-
-“No, I am not a Catholic. It is easier to say what I am not than what I
-am--except that, before and beyond all, I am a miserable woman.”
-
-As these words escaped her the lack of self-control of which they gave
-proof was so alarming to her that she begged her friend to take her home
-at once, saying that she was really not well, and must be alone to
-rest. Martha felt chilled and hurt. It was all so disappointing, and she
-seemed so completely put at a distance. The day which she had looked
-forward to with such eager joy had turned out dreary and sad. There was
-nothing to do, however, but to drive her friend back to her apartment.
-
-When they got there, Sonia turned and kissed her warmly, but said
-nothing; and Martha drove home, feeling lonely and perplexed.
-
-She did not expect to see the princess at the atelier next morning; but
-to her amazement, when she got there quite early herself, the beautiful,
-lithe figure was already before the easel, hard at work. There was,
-moreover, an air of strength and self-reliance about her which offered
-the greatest contrast to her manner of the day before.
-
-As Martha came into the room, Sonia, who was one of the quiet group
-around the model--a thin child who twitched and wriggled and could not
-keep still for two consecutive minutes--waved her a welcome with a
-little flourish of her brush, and gave her a bright, decided nod. It was
-too late for Martha to get a position near her, so talk was impossible
-until the midday recess; but that gesture, glance, and bow of the head
-were enough of themselves to put new spirit into the girl, and she found
-her place, and fell to work, going ahead with more vim than she had been
-able to command for a long time.
-
-When rest-time came the two friends showed their canvases to each other,
-and both of them could see the improvement in their work. Feeling much
-encouraged, they went off to the butcher’s shop, selected their chops,
-and while waiting for them to be cooked, sat at their little table in
-the _crémerie_, and talked.
-
-At first they spoke only of their atelier work and Etienne’s criticisms
-and suggestions; but when that was pretty much talked out for the
-moment, Sonia, with a sudden change of manner, said abruptly:
-
-“I want to atone to you for the gruesome mood that I was in when I went
-to see you yesterday. If you’ll invite me again, I will be
-different--and, oh, by the way, I’ve got over that foolish idea that I
-had about not meeting your brother. If it would give you any pleasure, I
-don’t in the least object. It would certainly be very silly to let him
-spoil this beautiful chance of our being together, as it would if I
-refused to meet him.”
-
-Martha looked at her in surprise. She had so entirely made up her mind
-that the powers had decreed that these two beings should not meet that
-Sonia’s words rather disconcerted her.
-
-“Oh, are you not pleased?” said the latter, disappointedly. “I thought
-it would delight you.”
-
-“So it does,” said Martha, quickly; “but, to be perfectly frank, I had
-so entirely accepted the idea that there might be some unknown danger in
-a meeting between you two that I had given it up; and now that the
-likelihood of it comes again, some sense of danger comes with it. You
-both seem such tremendous forces--in my eyes, at least,--that it is not
-like any ordinary acquaintanceship. It is very foolish, though; for even
-two locomotives may rush toward each other without danger, if each is
-solid on its own track, leading to its different destination. And surely
-no harm is done when they come very close, and exchange signals of
-friendliness, and then part, and go their opposite ways.”
-
-“Perfectly sage and true! Most wisely spoken!” said Sonia. “So you are
-reconciled now, are you? What weathercocks we women are! I am sure I may
-say it of you as well as of myself, contrasting your former eagerness
-with your present reluctance for this meeting. Well, I suppose it’s a
-part of our nature, and I don’t know that men are so very different.”
-
-“Harold is different,” said Martha.
-
-“Oh, no doubt _he_ is quite, quite the immaculate,” said her friend,
-lightly; and then, with a sudden change, she added in tones of extreme
-earnestness:
-
-“Martha, you have never told him one word about me--have you? Nothing, I
-mean, of what I have told you or let you see concerning myself. All that
-was and must remain sacred between you and me.”
-
-“Not a word, not a syllable!” cried Martha. “How could you even ask? He
-knows of you only as my atelier friend, and that you are a Russian
-princess, and he knows of my visits to you, and my love and admiration
-for you; but not one word of what your confidence has taken me into
-about yourself personally. I told him how little I knew or cared to know
-about you--that you were a young and beautiful widow, whose past
-history was wholly unknown to me. What you have let me see of the
-writing which that history has made upon your heart was a sacred
-confidence which no power could ever draw out of me.”
-
-“I knew it, dear. I never doubted it. Don’t defend yourself, as if I had
-distrusted you. It is because I do trust you that I consent to meet your
-brother. I would certainly not willingly make the acquaintance of any
-man who could possibly be supposed to know as much of my heart and its
-weaknesses as I have revealed to you.”
-
-“And when will you come to me again?” said Martha, allowing herself to
-feel unchecked the joy which the prospect before her stirred within her
-heart.
-
-“I will dine with you to-morrow, if you like,” said Sonia, with an air
-of decision.
-
-It was an intense surprise to Harold when Martha told him that the
-princess was to dine with her next evening. He at once proposed to go
-out and leave them _tête-à-tête_, but his wonder increased when he was
-told that the princess had avowed her willingness to meet him. After
-hearing that, there was but one thing for him to do. This he saw
-plainly; but at the same time he realized that a more difficult ordeal
-could not possibly be put before him. What could be her object in a
-course so extraordinary, and what could be the feeling in her heart to
-make such a course possible?
-
-He had believed her to be deeply moved, as no sensitive woman could fail
-to be, by their unexpected meeting of the day before; but that she
-should deliberately wish to repeat the meeting looked like the most
-heartless caprice. She had always been capricious, daring, and
-impetuous, and had loved to do unusual and exciting things; but that he
-could excuse as a part of her character and individuality. Heartless he
-had never had occasion to think her. Even her sudden recoil from him and
-repudiation of their marriage he believed to be the result of some
-commanding quality of her fine nature, which he could not help
-reverencing, even though he did not comprehend it.
-
-The courtship of Harold Keene and Sophia Rutledge had been very short,
-and their wedding sudden. He had met the young English girl in London
-near the close of the season; had seen her first in her court-dress, at
-her presentation; and had afterward spent ten days with her at a country
-house. Their mutual attraction had been a current which had swept
-everything before it; and when it had to be decided whether or not she
-should go on a voyage to Japan with her aunt, as had been planned,--a
-prospect which would separate them for months to come,--they took things
-into their own hands, and were married at short notice. The parents of
-Miss Rutledge were both dead. Her father, an Englishman, had married a
-Russian; and it was her mother’s sister with whom she was supposed to
-live, though she had spent most of her grownup years, and all of her
-childhood, in England. Her aunt was now a widow and a feverishly
-enthusiastic traveler, and the girl had looked forward with some
-pleasure to the long travels ahead of them. Her sudden marriage to the
-young American, introduced to her by some common friends, changed her
-life absolutely; but Harold was determined that she should realize at
-least one of her ardent dreams of travel, and take a journey up the
-Nile. Soon after their marriage they had set out on this journey, and
-the history of its rapturous beginning and miserable ending was known
-only to themselves.
-
-In this way it had happened that Harold’s wife had never been seen by
-his family, and he had even declined to send them a photograph of her.
-He said he disliked photographs, and none could ever give a fair
-representation of his beautiful wife. He wrote Martha that she must do
-her best to restrain her impatience, as they were to come at once to
-America at the end of their honeymoon on the Nile, and to make their
-home there, while he settled down to work.
-
-Instead of this, however, came the brief announcement of their
-separation, which almost broke Martha’s heart. She had put aside any
-natural feeling of deprivation and pain, to throw herself, heart and
-soul, into the delight of Harold’s romantic marriage, and as the young
-couple dreamed their way up the old Nile, she dreamed it with them. It
-is probable that few people in the world get the intense joy out of
-their personal experiences of love that this ardent and impassioned girl
-derived from the mere imagination of her brother’s happiness. The blow
-that followed it was therefore very keen and deep. The courage and
-complete reserve which her brother had shown in the matter had given her
-strength to bear it; but, in spite of that, a permanent shadow had been
-cast upon her life.
-
-
-
-
-XI
-
-
-AS SONIA got out of her carriage before the house in the Place de la
-Madeleine, and mounted the steps with her maid, her heart was beating
-violently, but she had never been stronger in the sense of complete
-self-possession. She knew that a difficult ordeal was before her, but
-she had no fear that her spirit would falter. It was only necessary for
-her to remember her former weakness, and how she had paled and cowered
-before Harold, to make her securer in her defiant resolution with every
-pulse-beat.
-
-At the door of the apartment she dismissed her maid, and, dropping the
-train of her heavy dress, swept into the little ante-chamber, regally
-tall and self-collected, to the admiration of the servants, who thought
-her every inch a princess.
-
-A door opposite opened, and Martha appeared in a pretty evening gown and
-led her friend into the salon.
-
-Near the table, holding the “Figaro” in his hands, and bending his eyes
-upon its columns, sat Harold. His severe evening dress, his grave, dark
-face, with its close-trimmed, pointed beard, and his straight, smooth
-hair, with its definite part, all spoke of composure, deliberation, and
-repose.
-
-He rose to his feet, laid down the paper, and stood in his place,
-waiting. His sister’s guest had taken off her lace hood and thrown open
-her cloak, between the parted folds of which appeared a rich evening
-dress. She came forward, moving lightly in her heavy garments, and when
-Martha, with a fluttering heart, which made her manner somewhat excited
-and confused, said, looking from one to the other, “My brother, Mr.
-Keene--the Princess Mannernorff,” she looked him full in the face with
-what Martha thought a rather haughty look, and gave him a somewhat
-ceremonious bow.
-
-Harold met her gaze with unflinching eyes, and bowed in his turn with an
-air which Martha thought unnecessarily formal and distant. After all she
-had said to each about the other, it disappointed her that their meeting
-should be so absolutely without cordiality. She asked her friend if she
-would come into her room to lay aside her wraps; but the latter
-declined, and threw her cloak and hood upon a chair before Harold had
-time to offer his assistance.
-
-She was dressed in a plain gown of thick yellow satin, with trimmings of
-brown fur and creamy lace. A diamond arrow pierced the mass of her rich
-brown hair, and a great clasp of many-colored jewels in an antique
-setting held the folds of her gown at the waist. She wore no other
-ornaments, and her beautiful arms and hands were without bracelets or
-rings. She did not seat herself, but opened a fan, and stood waving it
-softly as she looked down at Martha from her greater height. The
-introduction had, of course, been in French, and the conversation
-continued in that language.
-
-In strong contrast to her glowing brilliancy of color Harold was very
-pale as he stood with his shoulders braced against the mantel, and
-talked to her. He was, however, quite as collected as she.
-
-Presently she began to wonder dimly if he were not more so; for
-underneath her assured calm of manner there was a wild excitement of
-which she was intensely aware, and all the force of her will was set
-upon the effort of concealing it from her companions.
-
-She did not wish Martha to know that she was excited; and to have this
-quiet man in front of her get even a suspicion that she was not fully as
-composed as he appeared to be, was a thought that she could not endure.
-
-She began to talk about the atelier where she and Martha had met and
-made friends, and she gave an amusing description of her first encounter
-with Etienne when she had gone there to enter her name as a pupil.
-
-“It was my first venture into the Bohemia of the Latin Quarter,” she
-said; “and I felt brave, but self-protective, when I reached the place
-and went in, with my maid, to investigate. The cloak-room was empty, and
-when I got to the atelier, and walked around the great piece of
-sail-cloth which turned its dirty and undecorated side toward me, I saw
-a fat little old man, in carpet slippers, and a dirty, besmeared linen
-blouse, and black skull-cap, washing brushes in some soft soap contained
-in an old lobster-can. ‘I wish to see M. Etienne,’ I said rather
-haughtily; and to my great indignation he answered, still dabbing and
-flattening out his brushes in their lather of soap, ‘What do you want
-with him?’ My maid quite jumped with fright, and I, wishing to show my
-courage, said severely, ‘That is what does not concern you.’ Instead of
-showing the self-abasement which I thought my rebuke merited, he said
-amiably, still rubbing his brushes round and round: ‘But yes, it does;
-for I’m the man you are looking for. What will you have?’ I was so
-honestly discomfited that he kindly came to the rescue, and, overlooking
-my blunder, began to talk business. I have heard since that the mistake
-which I made had been so frequently made before that I suppose he
-scarcely noticed it.”
-
-As she ceased speaking, the readiness with which Martha took advantage
-of the pause to move toward the dining-room suddenly made her aware that
-dinner must have been announced,--how long ago she could not tell,--and
-that her garrulous speech and gesticulation had prevented her from
-hearing it. Her back was toward the door; but how excited she must have
-been, and appeared, not to have been aware of the announcement! Her face
-flushed, and she bit her lip with vexation.
-
-Martha looked at her brother, supposing that he would offer his arm to
-their guest. Instead of doing so, however, he merely stood aside and
-waited for the two ladies to go into the dining-room before him. In
-doing this, Sonia passed very near him; and with a feeling of defiance
-in her breast she looked straight at him.
-
-He did not meet her gaze, however; for his own eyes were gravely lowered
-and hid behind a pair of heavy lids, the curves and lashes of which were
-startlingly familiar to her.
-
-In the lull which the formalities of the moment occasioned, it was
-painfully borne in on Sonia that she had been too talkative. Her recent
-rapid speech smote annoyingly on her ears; and when she recalled the
-fact that she had done all the talking, and must have made an appearance
-of almost vulgar chattiness, she felt humiliated and indignant. Was she
-exposing her inward excitement to this quiet man, who was now giving
-some low-toned instructions to the butler with a self-possession which
-she suddenly envied? Feeling hurt and angry, she fell into utter
-silence.
-
-A constraint had fallen upon the party which was even more marked than
-that which
-
-[Illustration: “SONIA PASSED VERY NEAR HIM.”]
-
-usually characterizes the first moments at a formal table. Sonia felt
-that she would bite her tongue in two before she would speak again, and
-Martha had a helpless sense that things were somehow going wrong. It was
-Harold who broke the silence.
-
-“Martha,” he said, “the princess will say, perhaps, what wine she
-prefers.”
-
-Sonia felt as if she hated him. He knew all her little aversions and
-preferences as well as she knew them herself, and had ordered her
-dinners and wines times out of number. How could he pretend that he had
-never seen her before, with so much success as almost to impose upon
-herself? Was it really a dream? Which was the dream, the past or the
-present? How could he seem to be so indifferent, unless he really felt
-so? Perhaps he was. That might be the simple explanation of what seemed
-mysterious.
-
-As these thoughts hurried through her mind while she made a pretense of
-eating her soup, it suddenly occurred to her that her present complete
-silence might look as odd as her former garrulousness. Harold, while
-eating his dinner with apparent relish, was doing all the talking now,
-but with how different a manner from hers! How quiet he was, and what
-well-bred pauses interspersed his talk, and how agreeably he deferred to
-Martha and herself, and brought them into it! She had come to this
-dinner with the proudest confidence of being able to conform the
-conditions about her absolutely to her will, and yet, in spite of
-herself, she seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper every moment into
-the slough of regret and self-reproach which she had come here to get
-out of.
-
-As the meal proceeded, her self-dissatisfaction increased, and
-presently, with a feeling almost of panic, she realized that her conduct
-must be so peculiar as to cause surprise to Martha, if not to her
-brother. What interpretation would be put upon the sudden dumbness that
-possessed her? A very obvious one occurred to her, which it filled her
-with anger to think of, and she felt she must talk, must recover
-herself, must do away with the impression of her present stupidity.
-
-Martha, groping about for an agreeable topic, had mentioned the young
-bridal couple, and a telegram which she had just received from them, and
-that led her to some remarks about the wedding.
-
-“Oh, it was a beautiful wedding--I was there!” said Sonia, in a
-breathless endeavor to come naturally into the talk.
-
-As she spoke she met Harold’s eyes, and thought that she discovered just
-a shade of surprise in them. He only bowed, however, in assent to her
-rather demonstrative expression of praise. Sonia felt at once that her
-attendance at any wedding, particularly that one, was a thing that
-grated on him. His presence there was, of course, a necessity; but the
-odious taste of her going, out of pure curiosity, as it would appear to
-him, to see this marriage, must add one more item to the evidence which
-was rolling up against her. She was experiencing what was new to her--a
-sensation of total inadequacy to the social demands of her surroundings.
-
-“Harold, do you think you can possibly stay for the opening of the
-Salon?” said Martha, presently, in another effort to make the
-conversation go. This was a topic which she thought Sonia should be
-interested in. Apparently she was right.
-
-“I’m going to exhibit a picture,” said Sonia, quickly.
-
-Sonia had thought only of recovering herself by talking naturally, and
-this speech, as well as the last one, she regretted bitterly the moment
-she had uttered it. Not only did it seem in bad taste to speak of her
-exhibiting, when Martha was so far removed from such an honor, but it
-might also make the impression that she thought that the fact might be
-an inducement for him to stay for the Salon. It was maddening to have
-him look at her again with polite interest, and express his
-congratulations upon a fact of which she now felt heartily ashamed. How
-he must despise her! What should she do?
-
-“I wonder,” said Martha, at this point, in her clear, low voice, “if
-Harold has ever seen that striking picture that hangs in your room,
-Sonia. It is Watts’s ‘Hope,’ Harold. Do you know it?”
-
-Harold answered that he did not, and Sonia’s sense of helpless misery
-increased as she perceived that Martha was going to describe it. She bit
-her tongue to keep from crying out as Martha proceeded to give the
-following description:
-
-“It is a woman’s figure lying on the globe in an attitude of fatigue and
-dejection. The scantily draped form is beautiful, but not
-youthful-looking, and the face, partly concealed by a bandage over the
-eyes, is also beautiful, but lined with care and sorrow. In her hands
-she holds an old lyre with every string broken except one. This one
-string, frayed and worn and lax, she is striking with her thin, weak
-fingers, and she is bending her dulled ears to try to catch the note.
-When Sonia first showed it to me, and said that it was one of her
-favorite pictures, I did not understand it. We have all been taught at
-Etienne’s such a fine contempt for English art that I was disposed to
-treat it lightly. I soon saw, however, the wonderful, tragic meaning in
-the picture, and I quite long to see the original.”
-
-This was too much. Sonia felt that if anything else occurred to hold her
-up to contempt in this man’s eyes, she should give up, and burst into
-tears. Her courage was fast oozing to the last ebb; and with a feeling
-of actual desperation she looked involuntarily into the face of her
-opposite neighbor, and met his eyes fixed on her with a strong gaze that
-in an instant supported and calmed her. She did not quite read its
-meaning, but she felt that there was kindness for her in it, and that
-there was no contempt. A look from him had given her courage many a
-time in the past, and it was availing now. She felt suddenly
-self-possessed and strong; but the remainder of the meal was a confused
-blur in her memory, and she was devoutly thankful when her maid came to
-fetch her home.
-
-Martha thought it a little strange that her brother did not go down to
-put their guest into her carriage; but she reflected that he was far
-more familiar with the rules of foreign society than she was, and she
-concluded that he must be acting in accordance with them.
-
-
-
-
-XII
-
-
-MARTHA felt herself genuinely surprised, puzzled, and disappointed at
-the result of the meeting which she had worked so hard to bring about.
-Nothing could be more incontestably evident than that her brother and
-her friend had not proved sympathetic--did not “hit it off.” What was
-the reason? How could both of them be so perfectly congenial to her and
-still uncongenial to each other? It was a painful mystery, to which she
-tried in vain to find the key.
-
-Next morning Sonia did not come to the atelier at her usual time, and
-Martha painted on without her in pronounced despondency of spirit. When
-she had quite given the princess up, she looked around, and, to her
-delight, saw Sonia placing her easel, and preparing to go to work, a
-short distance off. She thought her friend looked a little pale and ill;
-but when she managed presently to catch her eye, she received an
-affectionate smile from her, which gave her a certain amount of
-reassurance.
-
-When the interval for lunch came, and they went off together to the
-_crémerie_, Martha waited for her friend to introduce the subject so
-near to her heart, and was surprised when she led the talk in an
-entirely different direction.
-
-It had been much the same with Harold after their guest had left the
-evening before. Beyond a rather preoccupied and spiritless assent to all
-she had to say about the beauty of the princess, he had seemed more or
-less indifferent on the subject, and had plunged with zest into the
-discussion of other things. Martha could not altogether wonder at this,
-for she had never seen her adored friend appear to so little advantage.
-Her brother, however, had seemed to her charming, though not, of course,
-at his very best, and she expected that Sonia would at least say that he
-was handsome and agreeable. When it appeared that she was going to say
-nothing at all, Martha boldly took the initiative, and asked:
-
-“What do you think of Harold?”
-
-“Think of him? Oh, I think he’s very good-looking, though less like his
-sister than I could wish.”
-
-“Oh, Sonia, don’t tease me! If I thought you meant that, I should give
-you up, both as an artist and a friend. But, really, did you like him or
-not?”
-
-“I could hardly say ‘not’ to that heartfelt appeal,” said Sonia,
-smiling; “and, indeed, I don’t feel inclined to. I liked him, of course.
-But, my dear, I told you only the truth when I said I was sick to death
-of men. Etienne is the solitary exception. I like him for the reason
-that he did say a decent word to me this morning, and I really believe
-he thinks I am beginning to daub with promise.”
-
-Martha saw that there was no hope, so with profound disappointment she
-gave up, and said no more.
-
-As for Sonia herself, never had she been in a state of such abject
-self-abasement. She had donned her gorgeous raiment and gone off to that
-dinner in exultant self-confidence, and had never doubted her ability to
-conform circumstances to her will, and to make exactly the impression
-upon Harold which she desired him to have. What, then, was the secret of
-her complete and humiliating failure? She asked herself this question,
-and immediately tried to shut fast her ears to the answer which her
-heart gave. She had confidently believed, up to this hour of her life,
-that her woman’s pride was strong enough for any demands which she could
-possibly make upon it; but it had failed her. She had passed a sleepless
-night after that dinner, and it took tremendous effort to go to her work
-next morning. She did it only because she knew that if she did not the
-news of her absence would reach Harold, and she could not endure the
-thought of the motive to which he might attribute it. Perhaps the most
-poignant recollection which rankled in Sonia’s mind was the thought
-that, in her helplessness, she had made an appeal to him by that look
-which he had answered with such strength-giving kindness. It had enabled
-her to get through with the remaining time; but now, as she thought of
-it, she felt that he had taken it as an appeal of weakness which he had
-been strong and merciful enough to respond to.
-
-This thought, whenever it recurred, made her cheeks tingle.
-
-And what could she do to right herself? She dared not make any more
-self-confident plans, only to have them end in fresh humiliation. She
-now felt afraid of seeing Harold, and it seemed to her that the utmost
-that was in her power was to be regular and faithful to her work, in the
-hope that the report of such a sensible course would reach his ears.
-
-Martha made a weak little effort to get her friend to come to her again,
-but to this she received such a faint response that she let the subject
-drop. All sorts of conjectures were busy in her mind to account for the
-present phenomena. She even wondered if she and her brother, with their
-American education and ideas, could have done anything which offered an
-affront to the state and dignity of their princess-guest. But this could
-hardly be. Sonia was as friendly and affectionate as ever, though she
-now seemed to wish to confine their intercourse to the limits of the
-atelier, and did not even ask her to come to her own apartments. So
-Martha was free to give up all her spare time to her brother, and they
-had numerous trips to the theater and opera; but somehow the _solitude à
-deux_ with her beloved Harold had not the zest in it which she had
-counted on beforehand. He was certainly changed, this brother of hers.
-He had grown more serious, and was given to long silences. She even
-thought that it was an effort to him to be so much in her society, and
-that he would perhaps prefer to be alone. This was a hard blow to
-Martha, but she bore it without making a sign, and was glad of the
-excuse which her work gave her to be much away from him. He also had
-important business in Paris, and often worked for many hours at a time,
-which, as Martha told herself, accounted for his rather careworn
-expression. She even thought he was getting thin, and begged him not to
-stay on because of her, as she would far rather give up her lessons and
-join her mother than be a trouble and injury to him. This, however, he
-would not listen to, and he even declared it his intention to stay in
-Paris until after the opening of the Salon, now only a week or so off.
-
-Day after day went by, and although Sonia and Martha were together at
-least one half of their conscious time, they seemed to have in some way
-gone backward instead of forward in their intimacy. They still lunched
-together daily, and had ample opportunity for talk; but there seemed now
-a dearth of topics such as they had never been aware of before, and a
-sense of distance had arisen which made it hard for Martha to realize
-the familiarity and nearness which had marked their former intercourse.
-
-One afternoon, when the work had been going more than usually well, and
-the model had been more than usually interesting, Sonia and Martha,
-their easels side by side, had lingered in the atelier after every one
-else had gone. It was very agreeable to be able to paint and talk
-together, and the princess, whose carriage had been announced some time
-before, gladly agreed to wait with Martha until hers should arrive.
-
-While they were talking, a knock was heard at the door, and as all rules
-were relaxed at this hour, both women called out, “_Entrez!_”
-
-The door was opened, and around the corner of the old sail-cloth screen
-the tall figure of Harold appeared. The day was raw and chilly, and he
-wore a fur-lined coat with its large fur collar drawn close around his
-throat, and carried his high hat and his stick in his hand.
-
-At sight of him Martha uttered a little exclamation of pleasure, and
-gaily called to him to come on. Sonia, in spite of the jerk at her
-heart-strings and the rush of blood through all her veins, felt, taken
-unprepared as she was, a sudden sense of strength and self-possession.
-Her color deepened, and by a swift motion she drew herself erect; and as
-she stood there in her old green skirt and red silk blouse, she looked
-so workman-like and charming that, as Martha drew her brother forward
-toward their easels, her heart quite glowed with pride in both her dear
-companions. She always adored Harold in that coat, and Sonia in that
-dress, and her sensitive organism seemed to be receiving impressions of
-pleasure from the minds of each. Harold stood still, a little distance
-off, and bowed, with a look that expressed some hesitation or
-uncertainty. Looking past his sister and at her friend, he said:
-
-“Do you permit me to look at your work?”
-
-“Oh, if you care to,” said Sonia in a light and natural tone. “It’s a
-mere daub of a study. One goes through a great deal of discouragement in
-a place like this, and a great deal of one’s time is spent in acquiring
-a knowledge of one’s ignorance. After that is quite mastered, things get
-easier. I think I may say that I have graduated in that branch of
-study, and am now ready to go on to the more advanced ones.”
-
-Harold stood still, and looked at her picture. She was thinking how
-natural it would be to ask him if he thought she had improved. He was
-thinking how natural it would be to tell her that she had. Martha was
-thinking how beautiful and full of charm they both were, and almost
-wishing that the atelier could be filled with students to look at such
-models.
-
-It occurred to her now that Harold remained silent unnecessarily long,
-and she was afraid that he did not appreciate her friend’s work; so she
-herself began to speak in voluble praise of it.
-
-Sonia felt a strong impulse to check her, and to explain to her that he
-was always silent when he really liked a thing exceedingly, and that she
-therefore felt delighted that he said nothing.
-
-Harold, however, forced himself to utter a few words of praise that
-sounded very stiff and conventional, and a sort of bewildered look,
-which Martha could not understand, came into his eyes. Sonia understood
-it by its reflection in her own heart. She felt as if she were in some
-strange, confusing dream, where the conditions around her were sad and
-constrained, and yet which she felt she must hold on to and keep
-conscious of, lest they should vanish and leave her utterly
-empty-hearted, estranged, and desolate. While Martha exhibited her own
-work, and proceeded to pick it to pieces in imitation of what Etienne
-would say to-morrow, the man and woman standing behind her, so near that
-they almost touched, were feeling, from this proximity, a force that
-went to the very deeps of both their natures. Hardness, resentment,
-wounded pride, regret--all these were parts of this force in each; but
-there was in it, too, something stronger than any of them, something
-that warned Sonia that she had better not trust herself, at the same
-moment that Harold turned abruptly away, and said that he had an
-engagement, and could not wait longer. He explained in a hurried,
-confused speech, out of which it was hard to get any intelligent
-meaning, that he had forgotten Martha’s need of the carriage, and had
-kept it waiting somewhere for him, which was his excuse for coming to
-the atelier to see if she had waited or was gone.
-
-Martha saw by his manner that something was wrong, and made haste to put
-up her brushes, and follow him into the cloak-room, insisting that Sonia
-should come also, as she objected to leaving her there alone.
-
-Sonia obediently did as she was told, but she felt as if she were
-stumbling along half blindly, and had not the will-power to object or
-protest.
-
-She put on her hat, and was reaching for her heavy cloak, when a strong,
-brown hand, specked with two small dark moles just below the thumb, took
-it down from the peg, and folded it around her.
-
-As she reached to draw to the collar, her hand touched his. If the sight
-of that hand had been familiar to her, what was its touch? She felt
-herself trembling, and her quick breaths almost suffocated her. She had
-just power to control herself until she was in her carriage, and alone.
-Then, falling back upon the cushions, her eyes closed, and she passed
-into a state of semi-consciousness.
-
-She did not really faint, for she was all the time aware that the
-necessity for self-control was for the moment gone, and that she could
-rest, and cease to fight.
-
-Long before the carriage stopped at her own door she had recovered, and
-realized it all. She knew that, miserable as the last two years had
-been, she had gradually been gaining strength, and recovering her power
-for the struggle of life. She might have gone on, and met the future
-bravely, if she had never seen this man again. Not now, however--not
-after she had heard his voice, and met his eyes, and touched his hand.
-This encounter had deprived her of her strength so absolutely that she
-longed only for the safety to be found in flight.
-
-But how would that sudden flight appear to him? That was the question.
-
-
-
-
-XIII
-
-
-SONIA found herself, after that meeting, in a state of helpless
-irresolution. She could take no action. She could not even make plans.
-She could only drift. There was only one solace--work; and she was now
-generally the last person at the atelier, staying there until the light
-failed. She had got over all her timidity about being there after the
-others. The old concierge was apt to put her head in now and then, to
-nod to her, and give her a sense of protection; and sometimes she would
-come in and chat with her, while she was doing such sketchy sort of
-tidying up as an atelier admits of.
-
-A few days had gone by without her having seen or heard of Harold.
-Martha seemed to divine that the princess wanted to talk only of her
-work and her atelier interests, and had tacitly adapted herself to her
-friend. They often worked together now, after regular hours, but Martha
-generally found it necessary to go before her friend was ready.
-
-One afternoon Martha had left rather earlier than usual, in order to
-keep an appointment with her brother, and Sonia was at work all alone,
-save for the companionship of her little terrier Inkling--a tiny,
-jet-black creature that wore a collar of little silver bells, which,
-Sonia had amused Martha by saying, had caused some one to give him the
-name of “Tinkling Inkling.” She did not often bring her pet to the
-atelier, for fear he might be troublesome. This afternoon, however, she
-knew that Etienne would not be there; and when the little fellow,
-palpitating with eagerness, had looked at her beseechingly from the seat
-of the carriage where she had just shut him in, she had suddenly snapped
-her fingers and twisted her lips into a sound of encouragement, and he
-had leaped out of the carriage window, and followed her with an air of
-perfect understanding that this unusual privilege made a demand on him
-to be on his best behavior.
-
-He had been propriety itself all the afternoon, and Sonia had seen and
-appreciated his heroic self-control in not barking at the model, whom he
-had looked at with inveterate disapproval, only expressed by one little
-whispered growl. The class of society to which the model belonged were
-Inkling’s natural enemies; and whether, in spite of nudeness, he
-recognized this man as a member of that class, or whether the nudeness
-itself outraged his sense of propriety, certain it was that, during all
-the hours in which his mistress was painting, Inkling lay at her feet,
-with his eyes fixed unwinkingly upon his enemy, ready to take advantage
-of the first excuse to fly at him.
-
-No such occasion had arisen, however; and now the model was gone, and
-Inkling, off duty at last, was enjoying the reaction of a sound nap at
-his mistress’s feet.
-
-The room was so profoundly still that Sonia was startled by a rap at the
-door, gently though it was given. Even Inkling did not wake at it. She
-looked up from her easel, expecting to see her footman come to announce
-the carriage, or some workman delivering supplies for the atelier, and
-saw, instead, Harold Keene standing only a few feet from her. She knew
-that the swing-door had closed behind him, and that they were alone
-together. Her heart shook, and for a moment she could not speak. He came
-forward a little, and said in French:
-
-“I beg your pardon, princess. I came for my sister to fill an
-engagement. Is she not here?”
-
-“She has just gone,” answered Sonia, also in French. “She expected to
-meet you at the apartment.”
-
-“I have just been there. Not finding her, I came on here. I suppose I
-passed her on the way.”
-
-Inkling had opened his eyes at the sound of voices, but, seeing that the
-model-throne was empty and his enemy gone, he had not troubled himself
-further. As Harold ceased speaking, a look of sudden interest came over
-the dog, and he got up, his little bells a-tinkle, and trotted across to
-where Harold stood.
-
-No sooner had he looked at him than he uttered a gruff bark of surprise,
-and no sooner had he snuffed once at the legs of his trousers than he
-grew frantic with excitement. He barked and yelped, and jumped up on him
-with such evidences of wild delight that no man with a kind heart in his
-bosom could have refused some recognition of such a welcome.
-
-Harold stooped and patted him, speaking to him in English.
-
-Somehow, to have him treat a dog like that, and to address her in cold
-formality, in a foreign language, by a pompous title which did not
-belong to her, seemed to Sonia wilfully cruel.
-
-Inkling, still frantic with delight, left Harold, and rushed over to
-her, yelping and barking, and shaking his tail violently, looking up in
-her face with eloquent insistency. Then he ran back to Harold, and again
-back to her, with fluttering agitation.
-
-Sonia’s spirit did not falter, however, and her voice was firm and
-steady as she said in English:
-
-“Why do you speak to Inkling in English, and to me in French?”
-
-“Because Inkling and I are old friends, who have a common language,
-while the Princess Mannernorff is a stranger and a foreigner.”
-
-“It seems very childish to keep up that farce.”
-
-“I thought it was your wish.”
-
-“And you despise me, probably, for the deception I have practised in
-passing myself off for the Princess Mannernorff! I did not do it
-deliberately,” she said, with an almost childlike air of contrition and
-confession. “It has hurt me all along to be deceiving Martha; but some
-one told her I was a Russian princess, and as my mother had been one
-before her marriage, and my aunt, with whom I live, is the Princess
-Mannernorff, I let the false impression remain, and even took advantage
-of it. It was wrong, I know; but I did want to hold on to Martha’s
-friendship a little longer. However,” she said, her face and voice
-hardening, “it is simply a question of time; and a few weeks sooner or
-later, what does it matter?”
-
-“Why is it a question of time?” said Harold. “Why should you not keep
-that friendship always, if you care for it? Martha shall know nothing
-from me.”
-
-There was a moment’s silence. Then Sonia said:
-
-“I thought it possible that you might disapprove of our friendship.”
-
-“Why should I? It is a thing absolutely between Martha and yourself.”
-
-“She would cast me off immediately if she knew the truth, and any moment
-an accident may reveal it to her.”
-
-“Such an accident is most unlikely. It could, as things are now, come
-about only through me, and I shall be on my guard.”
-
-How confident and strong he was! It roused all the pride in her. The
-sense of weakness which had overcome her at their last meeting, and
-which for a moment had threatened her in this one, was utterly gone.
-
-“Besides,” went on Harold, quickly, “I believe you are wholly wrong in
-thinking that she would give you up if, by chance, she should discover
-what you have so carefully guarded from her. I see no reason why she
-should.”
-
-He had spoken in English, since she had criticized his using French, and
-Inkling seemed at least partly satisfied, as he stood midway between the
-two, with his front legs wide apart, as if to keep his body firm, while
-his tail wriggled wildly, and his head turned from one to the other with
-a quickness which was enough to make him dizzy. He was alertly aware of
-them, but they had both forgotten him, in the keen absorption in each
-other which underlay their outward composure.
-
-“Have you, then, told her nothing?” said Sonia, in answer to his last
-words.
-
-“Only the simple fact.”
-
-“What fact?” she said, looking him in the face with a certain hardness
-and defiance.
-
-“That the woman whom I had loved no longer loved me; that she had
-repudiated my name and every connection with me, and had asked for a
-divorce, which I was taking all possible steps to give her as soon as it
-could be done.”
-
-“And do you think that Martha, feeling as she does, would continue the
-acquaintance of a woman who had cast off her brother with no stronger
-reason than that?”
-
-“It was sufficient for me. There could not be a stronger reason for
-divorce than absence of love on either side.”
-
-“The world does not agree with you,” she said.
-
-“Yet I fancy Martha would. If it came to remarriage on either side, her
-verdict would perhaps be condemnation; but I think she would consider
-separation a higher thing than a loveless marriage.”
-
-Somehow, there was a spirit in these words that touched her heart. Her
-voice, for the first time, was a little unsteady as she said:
-
-“You do believe that, at least! You do feel that I could never think of
-another marriage!”
-
-“I have always felt it. Indeed, I may say I have known it. I know that
-you see the inevitableness of all this as clearly as I do. I have often
-wished, for your sake, that I had never seen you, to put this blight
-upon your life.”
-
-“And have not I also blighted yours? Do you suppose that I never think
-of that?”
-
-“It need not trouble you, if you do. In my case there was a
-compensation, and a sufficient one. In your case there is none.”
-
-She knew what he meant; that his love for her, and that happy month of
-marriage, had been enough to pay him for having afterward lost her; and
-she knew that he held the fact that she had never really loved him to
-have barred her from any compensation at all. Why did she so resent his
-assuming this? Had she not told him, in language of such emphatic
-decision that it rang even now in her ears, that she had found out that
-she had made a great mistake, and that she had never loved him? He had
-simply taken her at her word.
-
-She wilfully ignored the true meaning of his last words, as she went on:
-
-“It is a mistake to think that my life has no compensations. My work,
-whether it ever amounts to anything or not, is a great compensation.
-The friendship of Martha is another. You are very good to wish not to
-take that from me; but the present sham conditions cannot be kept up
-after we separate. Fortune has favored us almost miraculously as it is.
-She heard that there was a Russian princess studying here, and some one
-mistakenly pointed me out for her. I had already seen her name on her
-canvases, and knowing that your mother and sisters were in Paris, of
-course I knew exactly who she was. Independent of this, her face and
-manner had strongly attracted me, so I saw no reason why we might not be
-friends, provided I could keep from her who I was. As soon as I saw that
-she believed me to be the princess, the fact that my aunt was a Russian
-and had Russian servants opened the way to my carrying on the idea; and
-so far there has been no trouble. My little Russian name for Sophia
-helped me, too. If she had known me as Sophia or Sophie, she would
-probably have recoiled from me, even if she had had no suspicion as to
-my identity.”
-
-“I beg you not to have that thought,” said Harold. “If the time ever
-comes when the truth must be declared to Martha, let me be the one to
-tell her; and I promise you there shall be no recoil--no lessening of
-her friendship for you.”
-
-“Thank you,” said Sonia, coldly. “You were always a generous man.”
-
-Her tone smote discordantly upon Harold. It seemed a sort of compulsory
-tribute to him, which he had no fancy for from her.
-
-“I am thinking of Martha, too,” he said. “She is very lonely in her
-life, and rarely goes out to any one, in spite of her ardent nature.
-This friendship with you is very valuable to her, and I am anxious that
-nothing shall disturb it.”
-
-“Thank you for correcting me,” returned the other, quickly; “though I
-did not really suppose that it was for my sake that you were willing to
-take so much trouble.”
-
-She knew that this speech was silly, petulant, and unworthy of her, but
-she wished him to understand that she asked and expected nothing of him.
-He could not be so cool and steady during this interview unless he had
-ceased to care for her. She quite realized that he had, and she wished
-him to know that she accepted it as a matter of course.
-
-Inkling, meantime, had grown very uneasy. He felt that things were not
-going well, and he now began to show symptoms of distress, instead of
-the wild delight of the moment before. He ran whimpering from one to the
-other; and when they took no notice of him, he sprang upon the lap of
-his mistress, and, uttering the most expressive plaints and beseechings,
-tried to lick her face. Sonia, in a fit of irritation very
-characteristic of her, gave him a hard little slap, which sent him out
-of her lap, whining, and running to Harold for pity. He was not really
-hurt; and she felt cross with the clever little brute for posing as a
-victim so successfully.
-
-“Don’t touch him!” she cried imperatively to Harold. “He’s only
-pretending to get your pity. You sha’n’t pat him or speak to him. If you
-do, I’ll be very angry.”
-
-The effect which these words had upon Harold would have surprised her,
-could she have known it. They were so like her, so absolutely herself,
-that they brought back the past with a rush; and it seemed such a hollow
-pretense to suppose that they were separated, and compelled to be as
-strangers to each other, that he came nearer to losing his head than he
-had done yet.
-
-Ignoring Inkling’s fawnings and plaints, he said suddenly:
-
-“I am forgetting that Martha is waiting for me”; and then, changing his
-tone, and speaking in French, he added:
-
-“May I take you to your carriage, princess?”
-
-She answered him in French, as prompt and easy as himself. She thanked
-him for his offer, but declined it, saying that her servant would let
-her know when her carriage arrived. She added that she was not ready to
-leave the atelier yet, as she had lost time, which she must now make up.
-
-He bowed in silence, turned, and walked away. Inkling made a weak effort
-to follow him, but was scared into a sudden and humiliated return by the
-imperious command of his mistress. The little creature looked so
-ridiculously distressed, as he sat on his haunches near her, with his
-ears dropped and his tail nerveless and still beneath him, that Sonia’s
-irritation deepened as she put up her brushes and paints; and when she
-had washed her hands and was emptying the basin, she yielded to a sudden
-impulse and dashed half the meager supply of water over him.
-
-“There, you little idiot!” she said crossly. “That’s for your ridiculous
-nonsense in trying to make out that I care one pin for him, or anything
-about him. I’ll very soon convince _him_ that I don’t; and if ever _you_
-dare to act in such a way again, I’ll sell you to the concierge on the
-spot!”
-
-Inkling gave every indication of a complete understanding of this
-threat, which had the effect of bringing him at once to a state of cowed
-dejection.
-
-
-
-
-XIV
-
-
-SONIA said nothing to Martha of that meeting and conversation at the
-atelier; and as Martha made no reference to it, she understood that
-Harold also had been silent on the subject.
-
-A few days went by, which were fraught with agitation to the pupils at
-Etienne’s, as they were the last days of April, and two or three of the
-atelier students were to exhibit in the Salon. Sonia’s picture had been
-entered under a fictitious name, rather against her master’s wishes; but
-he had found it impossible to move her on this point. She had made both
-Etienne and Martha promise her most solemnly to tell no one which was
-her picture; and so she looked forward to the great exhibition with a
-pleasure which had no disturbing element in it.
-
-This pleasure had, however, grown paler recently, as her hold on all
-outward things, slight as she had thought it before, had grown weaker.
-She had felt a real emotion when told that her picture had been admitted
-by the jury, and an intense anxiety as to how it would be hung. In
-contrast to this was the languid interest which she experienced when she
-found that it was on the line.
-
-Martha and she had gone to the _Vernissage_ on the thirtieth of April,
-and had stood before the picture together; but it was Martha who had
-flushed and fluttered with delight at the remarks upon it which they had
-overheard. Sonia herself seemed to have lost interest in it.
-
-On the morning of the _Vernissage_ Harold had gone to London, to be
-absent until the next day, when he was to take Martha to the formal
-opening of the Salon.
-
-There was, therefore, no reason why Sonia should not accept her friend’s
-invitation to dine and spend the evening. When she saw what pleasure her
-acceptance gave the girl, her heart suddenly smote her with the
-reflection that she did very little to reward such ardent love, and she
-impetuously offered to spend the night also, saying that she had not
-done such a thing since her school-days.
-
-Martha was overjoyed; and when Sonia duly arrived, prepared to spend the
-night, the two women made a great effort to get the amount of enjoyment
-which they felt ought to be for each in their _tête-à-tête_ dinner and
-evening together. Their talk, however, seemed rather desultory and
-unproductive, and both of them felt that their endeavors to return to
-their former attitude of free and natural mutual confidence were
-strangely unavailing.
-
-After a rather dull discussion of Paris apartment-houses, and their
-advantages and disadvantages, Martha proposed to show her guest over
-this one; and Sonia went with her into all the rooms, with a civil
-effort to seem interested, until she came to one on the threshold of
-which Martha said:
-
-“This is the girls’ room, which Harold has now. It is just next to
-mama’s, which is the one you have. The governess has a room on the other
-side of the salon, in order to protect me. They tell such frightful
-stories about the crimes and murders in these Paris apartments that I
-used to be quite timid, though I’ve got over it now.”
-
-Sonia, while she appeared to be listening to her companion, was in
-reality so inwardly shaken by certain influences received in this room
-that she felt as if her mind were staggering. On the dressing-table just
-in front of her were several toilet articles in old German silver which
-it seemed to her that she had seen and touched but yesterday. A
-clothes-brush with fantastic decorations of women’s figures, entwined
-with fish and garlands of roses, had a large dent in it, of which she
-knew the whole history. She could even have told why one of the three
-bottles in the leather-case was without a stopper, and what had become
-of the smallest pair of scissors, the place of which in the
-dressing-case was empty. On a table near by was a leather portfolio with
-the letters “H. R. K.” on one corner in a silver monogram.
-
-While Martha moved about the room and talked, Sonia’s eyes searched
-eagerly among the familiar objects for certain others which she would
-have given the world to see. Her search was in vain, however. There was
-not one thing of his own in sight which had not been a possession of his
-bachelor days. This was quite evident, and of course was entirely as it
-should be.
-
-When they returned to the salon, Martha, observing that her friend
-looked tired, proposed that they should go to bed early--an idea
-received with evident favor. They were quite safe in the protection of
-the man-servant, who had been brought with the family from America.
-Harold had given him orders to sleep for the night in the antechamber,
-and Martha had one of the maids in the room back of hers. When she asked
-her guest if she felt at all timid, and saw the smile of amused denial
-that answered her, she went with her to her room, lingered a few moments
-to see that all was comfortable about her, then kissed and embraced her
-friend, and said good night.
-
-Left alone, Sonia stood an instant silent in her place; then, with
-movements of swift decision, she locked the door by which Martha had
-gone out, and, crossing the room to another door, softly turned the
-handle. She had her bedroom candle in her hand, and as the door yielded
-and opened, she passed into the room beyond it, and stood still once
-more, as if possessed by that presence from out the past.
-
-The lights in this room had been put out, and all the doors and windows
-closed. She knew that she was safe in her solitude, and need no longer
-struggle with the feelings which crowded her heart.
-
-She went to the dressing-table, and took up the old clothes-brush, and
-put her lips to the dent which she herself had made there once, by using
-the brush as a hammer. Then silently dashing away the heavy tears that
-rolled from her eyes, she looked closely at the grotesque figures of
-women and fish, and recalled such amusing things which had been said
-about them that she began to laugh, even while more tears were
-gathering, and straining her throat with pain. The nervous little laugh
-died away as she pressed the brush again to her lips. Then she lifted,
-one by one, all the familiar objects that lay before her, and looked at
-them, while her tears fell like rain.
-
-Presently she took up the portfolio from the table near by, and turned
-over the thick sheets of blotting-paper within. She could see plainly
-the inverted and almost illegible, but characteristic, impression of a
-woman’s writing. In some places this was lost in very different
-characters, but in others it was distinctly recognizable. She walked to
-the dressing-table with it, and held it before the mirror, and read
-distinctly in one place the words, “Yours always, Sophie,” and in
-another, “Yours faithfully, Sophia Keene.” Her heart trembled. She had
-no idea to whom she had so signed herself, but she wondered passionately
-if Harold had ever tried this experiment, and seen those signatures from
-the faithless woman who had been his wife.
-
-Suddenly she put the book back on the table, and fell on her knees
-before it, laying her face upon its pages, and sobbing upon them until
-they were saturated with her tears; for, underneath her own handwriting,
-she had seen, reflected in the glass, writing which seemed almost as
-familiar, in which she had deciphered the words, “Your loving husband.”
-
-She had destroyed every word of that handwriting which she had ever
-possessed, and thousands of times her heart had hungered to see it in
-these very words. It was upon this spot that her lips were laid now,
-while they whispered out, in inarticulate sobs and gasps, words of
-heartbroken pain.
-
-She had told him that she did not love him, and had demanded a divorce
-from him. She must never contradict those words, or try to undo that
-act. She knew that she was weak, but she knew that she had courage
-enough to stand to this resolution. He should never know how, slowly at
-first, and afterward with increasing force and swiftness, the knowledge
-of her mistake had come to her. For a while she had fought it off with
-furious denial. She had argued and talked with herself, and recalled
-past feelings of resentment, anger, and desperate antagonism, to prove
-to herself that she had been right in vowing that she did not love him;
-but in the end nothing had availed. Long before their paths had met
-again she had known that she was wrong; that she had made a hideous
-mistake of her life; and that, with all the force, fire, energy, and
-passion of her heart, she loved the man whom she had repudiated. But,
-even with this knowledge, she might have borne it, she might have lived
-and died without making a sign, if only she had not seen him again!
-
-Now, however, that she had seen him, heard him, felt the atmosphere of
-his presence about her, felt his thoughts of her surrounding her, and
-felt through all her pulses his touch upon her hand, what was she to do?
-How was she to stumble on, and pretend to fight, when a mere look from
-his eyes made her sword-arm nerveless?
-
-Oh, she _must_ give way this once, she felt, and shed a few of those
-millions of pent-up tears! Now that she was here in the very room that
-he had slept in yesterday, and would come back to to-morrow, she must
-let the spirit of love and grief within her have its way. Perhaps some
-remnant of it might linger after she was gone, and speak to his heart
-from hers.
-
-As her mind formed this idea, she sprang to her feet. Was she losing
-control of herself? Was her mind weakening or deserting her? How had she
-so forgotten herself as to have this thought, which was in its nature a
-wish? She knew that in her proper senses she would choose to die a death
-of torture rather than that he should have one suspicion of her feeling
-for him. No, no! She passionately recanted that moment’s impulsive wish
-as she took her candle, and, more tranquil now, went over and stood by
-his bed.
-
-It was not swathed in a great cretonne cover, as French beds are apt to
-be, but was made in the American fashion, with smooth white coverlet and
-fair linen sheets. Still holding the candle in her hand, she sank on her
-knees beside this bed, and closed her eyes, and moved her lips in
-prayer. Her long hair was hanging in a thick mass down her back. The
-white gown that she wore was almost as plain as a religious habit, and
-she looked, with her taper burning in front of her, like a nun before a
-shrine.
-
-She felt a certain power of renunciation come into her, and a strength
-to do what right and duty demanded. She rose from her knees, and bent
-over the bed, and for a moment laid her cheek against the cool white
-pillow. Oh, might God be very good to him, she prayed! Might He make up
-to him for all the pain and grief and woe that she had caused him; and
-some time in heaven might he come to know how wholly and completely she
-had loved him!
-
-She felt a sense of inward calm and strength as she turned from the bed,
-crossed the room, and entered her own apartment, closing and locking the
-door behind her.
-
-This peace was on her still as she presently went to bed, and fell
-almost immediately into a dreamless sleep.
-
-
-
-
-XV
-
-
-SONIA was awakened early by sounds in the room next her own, and as she
-opened her eyes with perfect recollection of all that had passed the
-night before, she wondered if it could possibly be that Harold had
-returned. It might be only the maid opening and airing the room; but
-whatever it was, she could not sleep again, and she began to devise a
-plan for getting away early, so that she might avoid the possibility of
-meeting Harold. She got out of bed, parted the curtains, and opened the
-casement of the low French window. The early sunshine had washed
-everything with its faint golden glow, and the little new-born leaves
-that covered the trees in the _place_ with a foliage of feathery green,
-paler than ever in its transparence against the sun, made a delicate
-filmy screen, through which she looked down on an exquisite moving
-picture.
-
-The doors of the beautiful, great Madeleine were open wide, and through
-them was pouring a long white rivulet that seemed to have its source in
-the little covered doorway in the side of the basement of the great
-building, and flowed thence in an even stream around the corner, and up
-the great steps of the building, passing between its central pillars,
-and so into the interior of the church. This stream was composed of what
-seemed an unending number of little girls dressed for their first
-communion. They were all in spotless white, with thin, transparent veils
-reaching to the hems of their gowns, white wreaths upon their heads,
-white stockings, shoes, and gloves, and each of them carried a tall
-white taper, to be presently lighted in the church. Stationed like
-sentinels along the line were gray-clad, white-bonneted sisters of
-charity, who directed the children’s movements as they walked with an
-awed stateliness out of the little door, up to the corner and around it,
-and then through the gate and up the steps, and were lost to sight
-beyond the wide church-door.
-
-Sonia could see the very expressions of their faces as they would look
-up for direction to the sisters as they passed, lifting their meek and
-timid glances with an air of solemnity which in some instances
-struggled with a sense of pride in their unwonted paraphernalia.
-Somehow, the sight of so much ignorance, trust, and innocence, and the
-thought that each one of them possessed a woman’s heart, with all its
-capacity for suffering, for hoping, for loving, for regretting,
-absolutely overcame her. How ignorant they were of what lay before them!
-How fearlessly their little feet were entering upon the long journey of
-life, so blind to the pains and bitterness of its way! It seemed
-heartrendingly cruel to her, to think how they must suffer from the mere
-fact that each one of them was a woman-child. O God, that women had to
-suffer so!--that even love, the one delight, should bring in its wake
-such pain! She could see none of the joy ahead of these sweet children;
-she thought only of what her own heart suffered now--the regret, the
-longing, the unfathomable sadness, the blight, the disappointment, the
-despair! The passionate pain of her heart broke forth in violent sobbing
-as she stood between the parted curtains, fascinated by the lovely
-sight, but scarcely able to see it for her tears.
-
-“O God, have pity on them--have pity on them!” she sobbed aloud; and
-then, while her whole frame shook with her violent weeping, she
-suddenly became aware of the stealing on of a new influence. What was
-it? Nothing so definite as sight or sound, but something subtly powerful
-in its significance to her. It was the pungent odor of a certain kind of
-cigar which had once made part of the familiar atmosphere of her life.
-It dominated her now, as if by a spell. She was instantly calmed, and,
-as if by magic, swept back into the thrilling past. Then, suddenly,
-penetrating this familiar atmosphere, there came a familiar sound--no
-articulate utterance, but just a sound in the throat, which seemed
-somehow meant to challenge attention. She would have known that voice in
-the most distant and unlikely spot of earth; and now it became quite
-plain to her that Harold had returned, and was watching the scene
-opposite from his open window, scarcely a yard away.
-
-He must have heard her words and sobs! He must have understood them, he
-was so well practised in reading her heart. It had been an open book to
-him once, though now it must be forever locked and sealed.
-
-Her hands had fallen from the curtains, and she had moved backward.
-There had seemed to come into her strength and support from the mere
-sound of that voice. There was nothing new in this. Often, often had she
-felt it before. And once it had been in her power to summon this support
-at will, in any hour of grief or trial. That power was gone now, never
-to come again; but for this once this supreme and availing help had been
-afforded her. She felt within her the power to be strong, to collect
-herself, and to form and execute plans of getting away from this place
-of temptation and danger.
-
-She fell on her knees. Her soul uttered a prayer of mingled thanksgiving
-and entreaty. As she raised her eyes she could see through the slightly
-parted folds of the curtains the pointed arch that topped the Madeleine.
-Carved in enduring stone, that generations to come might see and gather
-comfort from it, was the gracious figure of Jesus, spreading out his
-arms of welcome to the poor Magdalen, who knelt in supplication at his
-feet. At his side was a glorious, great angel, who, with drawn sword,
-stood over the woman, and thrust back with his other hand the evil
-creatures who in vain besieged her. On the right hand of Christ another
-angel, with wings at rest, held a great horn of triumph, and behind him
-were women crowned and garlanded, with little children clinging to them.
-Farther still was a woman on a bed of illness, over whom another angel
-of mercy had spread its wings as she came to Christ to have her body
-healed.
-
-The center of it all was the beneficent figure of the human Saviour; and
-Sonia, looking down from this immutable image carved in stone to the
-flowing, changing, passing stream of young human creatures beneath, felt
-calmed and comforted. So they could keep their childish faith, there was
-a refuge for them, and she saw them now without any prompting to tears.
-
-She got up from her knees, bathed her face, smoothed her hair before the
-mirror, and then, after darkening the room a little, rang for the maid,
-and asked for her coffee.
-
-By the time it came she was almost dressed, and she instructed the
-servants very carefully not to disturb her young mistress, but to call a
-cab for her at once,--as she found it necessary to go home early,--and
-to tell Martha, when the latter awoke, that she was very well, but was
-obliged to be at home at a certain hour.
-
-Her plan worked perfectly, and on her way to the cab she saw no one
-except the American maid, who went down with her. In passing through the
-antechamber she noticed a man’s covert-coat, stick, and hat, together
-with some crushed newspapers, thrown on a sofa. But she had not needed
-this to convince her of the fact that Harold had returned, and had been
-in his room, watching, as she had watched, the stream of little girls
-beginning their celebration of the month of Mary by taking their first
-communion.
-
-The first of May being also what is known as “Labor Day,” it was a
-strange contrast to the unworldliness and other-worldliness of these
-little _religieuses_ to see the alert military forces now beginning to
-fill the streets, in anticipation of possible insurrection and danger,
-of which there was strong menace that year.
-
-Gendarmes in groups of six and eight, and sometimes even more, dotted
-the streets in all directions, and the mounted guard was out in full
-force. Sonia, looking from her cab window, heard repeated orders given
-to small groups of citizens to disperse. Even two men were not
-permitted to stand and talk together, and she was conscious of a certain
-amusement at seeing two groups of gendarmes combine forces to separate
-these little knots of two and three. Occasionally there was some
-resistance, and she saw several arrests made, which frightened her. She
-felt lonely and unprotected, driving through the streets of Paris with
-an unknown cabman at that early hour, when there was even a possibility
-of such a horror as an insurrection of the French lower orders.
-
-It came over her with piercing power how Harold would once have felt
-about her being in such a position, and how strange, how inexplicable,
-how unnatural, it was that it could be nothing to him now--that, even if
-he knew it, he would feel bound to accept it passively; for nothing, she
-was certain, could induce him to exercise the semblance of a right over
-her.
-
-She got out of the cab at her own door, safe in body, but more excited
-and confused in mind than she had ever been in her life--and perhaps, in
-this moment, more wretched also.
-
-
-
-
-XVI
-
-
-HAROLD’S condition of mind and feeling on that morning of the first of
-May was so complicated and perplexed that he felt for the first time in
-his life utterly unable to see his way. He was accustomed to having
-things, no matter how difficult, look definite to him. He had not
-hesitated in deciding on his sudden marriage with Sophia Rutledge, nor
-had he felt the least hesitation as to his course a month later, when
-she demanded a divorce from him. His path had been clear and open before
-him, and he had taken it unflinchingly. He felt the same ability to do,
-and the same courage to endure, now, if he could only see his way. He
-knew himself too well to suppose that, after having been married to this
-woman, he could ever love another, and he had quite decided to accept
-his life and to put the thought of happiness out of it. In making this
-decision he had had the strongest possible conviction of the truth of
-his wife’s declaration that she did not love him, and it was this which
-had made submission to her decision the only possible course for him.
-She was such a strong and resolute woman that he had imagined her, after
-the stern ordeal of the first few months of separation, going resolutely
-on, with her life adjusted to its new conditions; and although he was
-certain that her marriage, separation, and the coming divorce would make
-too deep marks in her womanly consciousness for her ever to think of
-marrying again, he quite believed that she was the calm and self-poised
-woman for which he knew nature had intended her.
-
-It was therefore a great surprise to him, on meeting her again, to see
-such marked indications of indecision, nervousness, and lack of control.
-He felt that she often said and did what she had meant not to say and
-do, and he was aware that she was a prey to variableness, fluctuation,
-and caprice. What did it mean? This was the question which he set
-himself to consider with all the concentration of his mind. He did not
-know--what was the truth--that these new qualities in her existed only
-with regard to himself, and that to her aunt, her acquaintances, her
-servants, and all who came in contact with her, she was more than ever
-decided, self-collected, and even self-willed. If he could have known
-that, it would have let in light upon a subject and situation which
-seemed to him impenetrably dark. Every time that he had seen her she had
-left upon his mind a different impression. Sometimes he wondered if she
-could be ill, to account for such a change; and sometimes he told
-himself that it was an unpardonable demand upon her nervous endurance
-for him to come into her presence. Still, when he reflected, he had
-never thrust himself upon her, and on the only occasion when their
-meeting had not been accidental, it had been her deliberate doing. What
-must he conclude from this?
-
-It would be conceit only which could make him think, after that, that
-she either feared or disliked to meet him. He certainly had no right to
-suppose that she sought or wished it. He must, therefore, conclude that
-she was quite indifferent to him, and wished him to accept that view of
-the case.
-
-He tried hard to do this, but there was something in her manner and in
-his own consciousness which positively prevented his holding to this
-idea. It was not that she appeared to him to be unhappy, but she did
-seem disturbed, restless and fitful. After his interview with her in the
-atelier, he felt that she had so definitely conveyed to him her wishes
-in the case that now he had only to follow them and to keep out of her
-way, so far as it rested with him to do so.
-
-On this course he fully resolved; but her beauty, her voice, her
-movements, haunted him by day and night. He knew that he was as
-absolutely under her spell as he had ever been. He knew that a point
-might come when his self-control would be powerfully threatened, and
-then there would be nothing for it but to flee. He was not afraid of the
-consequences to himself which might lie in this betrayal of his past. He
-was thinking of her, and of the increased trouble which it would bring
-into her life if she should come to realize how he still loved her. This
-was a quite unnecessary trial for her, and one which he was resolved she
-should not have.
-
-He had not known of any plan of Martha’s for having her friend spend the
-night of his absence with her, so it took him completely by surprise
-when he returned at an earlier hour than he had expected, and, inquiring
-of the man servant if all was well, was told that the Princess
-Mannernorff had dined and spent the night with his sister. He
-ascertained what room she was occupying, and when the servant, who
-carried his bag, went into his own room ahead of him, he reproved the
-man rather severely for opening the window with such a noise. Then
-immediately he sent the servant away.
-
-He had seen, from below, the beginning of the little procession going
-into the Madeleine; and as he stood half unconsciously watching it,
-possessed by the thought that the woman who had once been his adored and
-adoring wife was asleep in the next room to him, he heard the window of
-that room open, and he knew that she was awake, and standing very near.
-He heard her draw the curtains back by the cords and rings above. He
-even heard the little effort in her breathing caused by the strong pull.
-Each of them, he knew, was looking at the same sight--the beautiful,
-moving panorama, seen through the flecks of sun-washed, young green
-leaves; but while she was thinking of those trustful and unconscious
-children, his thoughts were wholly of her. His heart was filled with
-longings so intense and masterful as to crowd out everything else. Then,
-in a flash, his humor changed; for there came to him her stifled sobs,
-and her calls on God to pity them--those sweet, unknowing little ones,
-born to be suffering women. With his old swift comprehension of her, he
-knew why this sight had touched her so, and he realized what he had only
-dimly felt before, that she was a miserable woman, wearily walking a
-_via dolorosa_.
-
-He did not ask to know what it might be. He longed only to help and
-comfort her. He could not speak, but at least he could let her know that
-he was near; and then it was that he had made the sound which Sonia had
-heard.
-
-That sound was followed by silence. Was she perhaps indignant, he asked
-himself, that he should dare to make this demand upon her attention? She
-would have a right to be; for he could make no pretense that he had not
-deliberately intended to do this. Yet she was alone there, sad and
-troubled, and he was close at hand, with a heart that ached to comfort
-her. He could not have rested, feeling that she was unaware of his
-knowledge of her presence, and no matter what consequences to himself
-the act might carry, he deliberately said to her in that sound: “I am
-here, and I know that you are there.”
-
-If she had made a sign in answer, he would have thanked God on his
-knees; but she had withdrawn from the window in silence, and he had felt
-only that she was gone.
-
-An hour later, when the servant brought his coffee and the morning
-papers, he brought also the information that the princess had gone off
-alone some time before in a cab.
-
-Harold felt, at hearing this, a perfect fury of anger and indignation.
-With the possibility of a riot in view, and the knowledge that ladies
-had been warned not to venture unprotected on the streets, it made his
-blood boil to think she--the delicate woman-spirit and woman-body that
-he knew so well--should have gone forth alone from under the very roof
-with him; and that even if he had known of it, he would have had no
-right to interfere. The legal right, of course, he had; but that fact
-only made it the more impossible for him to assert upon her any claim.
-Not all the laws that were ever made could have bound or loosed him so
-indomitably as did her wish and will. The fact that it was still within
-his power to assert a legal claim upon her constituted in itself the
-strongest possible demand upon a man of his nature to leave her as free
-as air from any bondage or emancipation which could exist by any right
-but that of love. If she had loved him, he would have asserted his power
-and right to control and influence her. As she did not love him, there
-was no creature living who was so free from him as she--this woman whom
-once he had held in as binding fetters as ever love had forged.
-
-
-
-
-XVII
-
-
-ON reaching home, Sonia went immediately to her room, and sent word to
-her aunt that she was feeling ill, and desired not to be disturbed. Her
-maid brought her a message of condolence in reply, and she knew that she
-was now safe in her solitude for the remainder of the day.
-
-She undressed quickly, threw on a loose dressing-gown, unfastened the
-thick coil of her hair, and then, telling her maid not to come to the
-room until she should ring, she threw herself at full length on the
-lounge, and lay there with her eyes closed, profoundly still. She had
-caused the blinds to be shut and the curtains drawn. The beautiful
-spring sunshine flooded everything without, but about her all was gloom
-and darkness. She could hear the whir of innumerable wheels and the
-click of horses’ feet on the smooth pavement outside, and she knew that
-the streets were alive and abloom with smartly dressed men and women in
-open carriages, driving between the long lines of flowering
-horse-chestnuts down the beautiful Champs Elysées to the Palais de
-l’Industrie.
-
-Long ago she had ordered a charming costume for this occasion, selected
-with much care and thought; and it had come home more than a realization
-of her expectations. She had fancied that she would have pleasure in
-joining a party of friends, and perhaps lingering about the neighborhood
-of her own picture to hear any comments that might be made upon it. She
-had not allowed herself to hope that it would be on the line; but there
-it was this moment, as she knew; and the pretty gown and bonnet and
-parasol, all so painstakingly selected, were neatly put away, and she
-was lying nerveless in this lonely room.
-
-She lay on her back, with her arms, from which the sleeves fell, thrown
-over her head, and her face turned to one side, so that her cheek rested
-against the smooth flesh of one inner arm. The folds of her scant gown
-lay thin and pliant over her long, slim figure, and the pointed toes of
-her little gray _mules_ showed at the end of the lounge where her feet
-were crossed one over the other. To-day she had given up the long, long
-struggle for self-control and strength. She abandoned herself absolutely
-to the dark, unbroken grief which she felt to be her only natural and
-honest life. She did not even long for happiness to-day: she longed only
-for the peace of death--the nothingness of the grave. Oh, to be taken
-so, without the need to stir or move, and lowered into a cool, deep,
-still grave,--breath, consciousness, hope, regret, memory,
-individuality, all, all gone,--and earth and grass and flowers over her!
-That instinct of weak self-pity, to which the strongest of us yield now
-and then, overcame the lethargy of her mood, and the springs of tears
-were touched. Two large drops rose and forced their way between her
-close-shut lids.
-
-“O, what have I done, what have I done, to have to suffer so?” she
-whispered--“to have to give up all, all joy, and take only pain and
-misery and regret for all my life! It was only a mistake. It was no sin
-or crime that I committed when I sent him away, and said that I did not
-love him. It was only an awful, fatal, terrible mistake. I have feared
-so for a long, long time; but, oh! I know it now! I want him back--I
-want him back! I want his love, and his patience, and his care. I want
-him for my friend, and my protector, and my husband. And though I want
-him so, I am farther away from him than if I had never seen him. When
-this hideous divorce is got, and our beautiful marriage has been undone,
-any other woman in the world might hope to win his love. I shall be the
-one free woman on earth to whom that hope would be shame and outrage and
-humiliation. O my God, help me, help me! Show me what to do. Give me
-back at least my pride, that I may not have to suffer his contempt. O
-God Almighty, if his love for me is quite, quite dead, in mercy let my
-love for him die too! Oh, no--no--no! My God, I take it back! I do not
-ask it. I do not want to stop this agony of pain that comes from loving
-him. O God of pity and compassion, give me now a little help, and show
-me what to do. Kill me now--strike me dead, O God--rather than let me do
-anything to cause him to despise me!”
-
-She buried her face in her hands, and went on, speaking between her
-fingers in thick, sobbing whispers.
-
-“God did not hold me back before from cutting my own throat,” she said;
-“and yet I prayed to him with all my soul, as I am praying now! Perhaps
-I was too self-willed, and wanted my own way too much, and so he would
-not hear me. Oh, I _want_ to do his will--I want to let him choose for
-me; but, oh, far more than that I want my love, my darling, my husband!
-We have been joined together by God, and he has not put us asunder, nor
-has man put us asunder. Neither did he do it! It was I,--I myself,--out
-of my weak selfishness and self-will, because I wanted to make
-everything conform to me--because I wished him to love me by a rule and
-ideal of my own--to treat me according to my fancy--to make every
-sacrifice of himself and his nature and thoughts and feelings to me, and
-I was willing to consider him in nothing! But oh, my God, I have been
-shown my wickedness and selfishness! The scorching light of truth has
-come, and now I see it all. If I could have him back! If I could wipe
-out the past, and be once more in my wedding-dress and veil, and give
-him my vows again, O God, thou knowest whether I could keep them now or
-not! It cannot be, it cannot be! He pities me and would be kind to me,
-but he does not love me any longer. O God Almighty,” she cried aloud,
-writhing her body from the lounge, and getting on her knees, with her
-hands and her face lifted upward, “take me and work in me, and give
-light to my blinded eyes! Give me the strength to do what is right--to
-give him up--to stop thinking of him! I cannot bear this tearing
-struggle any more. I can fight no longer. I beg thee only, only for
-this--that I may somehow grope and stumble through this time without the
-loss of the one thing that is left to me--my woman’s pride!”
-
-She fell forward, with her face buried in the lounge, and great sobs
-shaking her body. Gradually these subsided; but long after they had
-ceased she knelt there with her face concealed, alone in the silence and
-darkness.
-
- * * * * *
-
-AT the same moment, only a little distance off, the sunlight was pouring
-down in floods upon the palms, the stuffs, the pictures, the statues,
-and the crowd of fashionable men and women who thronged the great
-exhibition of the spring Salon.
-
-Voices of men and women rose melodiously, whether in praise or blame.
-Lorgnettes were raised, hands clasped in delight, and shoulders
-shrugged in disapproval. Fans were waved in delicate, gloved hands,
-whose every movement stirred the air in waves of sweet perfume from
-flowers, or delicate odors wafted from women’s gowns. Smartly dressed
-men and women stood about in groups, and now and then a hum arose as
-some great man, decorated with orders, and smiling with confident good
-humor, passed along, bowing to right and left, and receiving
-compliments--too familiar to be anything but gently stimulating--on the
-beauty of his latest pictures.
-
-There were groups, larger or smaller, before many of the canvases; and
-in one of these groups, standing a little apart from the rest, were
-Harold and Martha Keene.
-
-The picture before which they had paused was a rather small canvas on
-which was painted a woman leaning with her elbows on a table, and her
-chin resting in her hands, which met at the wrists, and then closed upon
-the cheeks at either side. The little table before her was perfectly
-bare. There was a striking absence of detail. The one thing which was
-accentuated by careful and distinct painting was a plain gold ring on
-the third finger of the left hand. The loose drapery which wrapped the
-shoulders, leaving bare the throat and arms, was simply blocked in with
-creamy white paint and heavy shadows. The hair was gathered in a thick
-coil at the top of the head. There was beauty in its coloring, and merit
-also in the flesh-tints of the face and throat; but the power of the
-picture was in the eyes, which looked directly at one. The brows above
-them were smooth, definite, and uncontracted. The lines of the face were
-youthful and round. The lips were firm and self-controlled. All the
-expression was left to the eyes, which, large, honest, courageous, and
-truthful, met those of the gazer, and gave their message--the message of
-despair.
-
-“It is called in the catalogue simply ‘A Study,’” said a man standing
-close to Harold Keene; “and certainly there is no need to name it. The
-artist’s name is given as ‘G. Larrien.’ Does any one happen to know it?”
-
-No one did, and the group of people soon passed on; but Harold stayed
-and looked. Martha, who stood at his elbow, was palpitating with
-excitement. She knew the picture and the artist, but she was determined
-not to betray, even by a look, the secret which she had promised her
-friend to keep. She saw that Harold studied the picture with intent
-interest, and she schooled her face to express nothing, in case he
-should look at her. She was watching him closely, and she thought that
-his color changed a little, but he gave no other sign of feeling. He did
-not look toward her. Indeed, there was neither question nor curiosity in
-his eyes, but a look of conviction and, she thought, a look of pain.
-
-A man and woman had paused beside them now, and stood gazing at the
-picture.
-
-“It’s quite a remarkable thing,” said the man; “and it appears to be by
-a new exhibitor. I do not know the name. It certainly tells its story.”
-
-“Yes,” said his companion; “I believe that it is only through marriage
-that despair comes to a woman. If one painted that look in a man’s eyes,
-one would have to invent some better explanation of it than a
-wedding-ring.”
-
-Harold glanced toward the speakers, and then began to move away, without
-looking again at the picture. Martha waited to hear what he would say;
-but as to this particular picture, he said nothing.
-
-Why was it that she felt a sudden certainty that he knew who had painted
-it? It seemed absurd to suppose that he could, and yet she had a
-conviction about it impossible to shake off.
-
-The picture, as Martha knew, had been the hasty work of a few days, and
-had been painted at home. When Sonia had brought it to show to Etienne,
-he had been so surprised and delighted at it that he had insisted upon
-substituting it for the careful and painstaking piece of work which she
-had done in the atelier on purpose for the exhibition. It was evident
-that he recognized some rare quality in this picture, and that others
-had now recognized it also. Martha, looking back, saw that another group
-had formed in front of it, and that animated comment was in progress.
-
-It came over Martha now--a thing she had not thought of before--that in
-spite of the different contour and coloring of the whole face, there was
-a certain vague resemblance to Sonia in it. It was not the eyes
-themselves, for they were blue in the picture; but there was something
-in the shape and setting of them which suggested Sonia. She wondered if
-the lovely princess could have been aware of this herself, for she had
-shown a strong reluctance to exhibit this picture, and had required of
-Etienne and herself a very strict promise of secrecy about it, saying
-that it had been seen by them only. Martha, who knew that her friend was
-unhappy, and that her sorrow had come to her through her marriage, felt
-in her heart that Sonia had painted this picture from the look of her
-own eyes in a mirror when off her usual guard. She wondered if by chance
-Harold had had the same idea.
-
-
-
-
-XVIII
-
-
-THE next morning Martha drove to the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, and
-found her friend in bed, suffering from a headache which had been so
-severe that she had had a doctor. She had passed a sleepless night, and
-it distressed Martha much to see how really ill her beautiful princess
-looked. There were dark rings around the lovely eyes, and the sweet
-mouth, which the girl so loved, had a pathetic droop which showed that
-tears were not far off.
-
-Martha tried to cheer her up, by telling her how much her picture had
-been noticed, and repeating some of the comments which she had
-overheard.
-
-It was strange how little all this was to Sonia. Her pulses did not
-quicken, by one beat, until suddenly Martha said that Harold had been
-fascinated by it, had lingered before it and gone back to it, and that
-somehow she could not help thinking that he suspected that she had
-painted it.
-
-“How could he? It is impossible!” Sonia cried, a faint flush rising to
-her face.
-
-“Yes; I suppose it must be,” Martha conceded; “and yet there was
-something special about the picture to him; and after he had seen it, he
-certainly took no further interest in looking yours up, which, in the
-beginning, he had told me he was going to do.”
-
-“Martha, you must never let him know it! I trust you for that. I shall
-never own the picture as long as I live; and I have the solemn pledge of
-both you and Etienne not to betray me. You know it was against my will
-that I consented to exhibit it, and I could not endure to have it known
-that a melodramatic thing like that (for that is what it will be called)
-had been painted and exhibited by me. Did your brother laugh at it? Tell
-me the truth. If he laughed at it, I wish to know it.”
-
-She had raised herself in the bed, and sat upright, looking at Martha
-with commanding eyes.
-
-“Laugh at it, Sonia? Could any one laugh at that picture--least of all
-Harold? It is one of the most deadly things that I ever looked at. No;
-he did not laugh. Indeed, I think it took from him all power of being
-amused for the rest of the day. I only say this to prove that the
-impression which your picture made was a serious one. He said nothing
-about it, but I know he was impressed by it.”
-
-The princess fell back on her pillows, with a face so flushed and eyes
-so brilliant that Martha feared that she must be in a fever, and blamed
-herself for having talked to her on a subject so exciting as the Salon.
-In a few moments she rose to go. Her friend, although she declared that
-the visit had done her no harm, did not try to keep her, for a sudden
-and excited fancy had seized her.
-
-No sooner was Martha gone than she rose quickly, rang for her maid, and
-began to dress, regardless of the fact that her head felt light, and her
-limbs were trembling. She put on a long cloak and a large black hat;
-and, ordering her carriage, had herself driven to the Palais de
-l’Industrie.
-
-A feverish desire to see the picture again had laid hold upon her. She
-wanted to look at it after knowing that Harold had done so, and to judge
-how much she had betrayed of
-
-[Illustration: “SHE PUT ON A LONG CLOAK.”]
-
-what her own heart had felt, and her own eyes had expressed, when she
-had painted that picture before her mirror, trusting in the complete
-disguise of the decided changes in features and coloring which she had
-made. She had painted the expression as faithfully as she could, knowing
-that no one who had never seen her completely off guard would recognize
-it. She felt now that if she should discover that there was a trace of
-possible identification in either features or expression, she could not
-endure it. Harold would think, and would have a right to think, that she
-had made capital out of her most sacred shame and sorrow; and he was the
-sort of man to whom that idea would be monstrous. She knew that she
-never could have painted it if she had had the least idea of exhibiting
-it; but when it was done, and she had shown it to Etienne to get his
-criticism on the technique, and he had been so plainly delighted with
-it, and urged her not to carry it any farther, but to exhibit it as it
-was, she had agreed to it for three reasons. One was to please her
-master, who was not very easily pleased; another was because she knew
-she could keep it secret by telling no one except the two people who
-already knew; and the third and decisive one was that it was a way
-suddenly opened to her of giving her message to the world impersonally.
-She felt a sort of exultation in the thought that in this way she could
-say: “Look in my face, and see. This is marriage!”
-
-When Sonia got out of her carriage she dismissed it with the maid, and
-mounted the steps with a look of greater firmness and resolution than
-she really felt, for physically she was ill and weak. She knew, however,
-that she might meet with acquaintances here, and might attract the
-attention of strangers by being quite alone, and therefore she realized
-the necessity of calmness in her outward manner. Her face was partly hid
-by a veil, and she had managed to avoid the gaze of one or two people
-whom she had recognized as she made her way quickly to the room in which
-she knew that her picture was hung.
-
-In spite of her preoccupation, it quickened her pulses a little to see
-that there was a small group of people in front of it, evidently talking
-about it. As she stood behind these, and looked full at the face on the
-canvas, which was looking full at her, a sudden sense of conscious
-power, the knowledge that she had created a thing of intrinsic
-character, came over her, and she could hardly realize that it was she
-who had done it.
-
-There was certainly no trace of her feature and coloring in this
-picture, and yet she shrank back, and had an impulse to conceal herself,
-for what she saw before her was undoubtedly the picture of her soul. Her
-heart fluttered, and she felt herself beginning to tremble. Was she
-going to faint here, alone? A wild sense of helplessness seized her, and
-at the same moment she was conscious of a certain familiarity in the
-outline of a shoulder and arm between her and the picture. She glanced
-quickly up at the head of this man, and saw that it was Harold. A little
-sound--scarcely more than a stifled breath--escaped her, and he turned
-suddenly, just in time to go to her and take her arm in his steady,
-reassuring grasp, which seemed to nerve her soul as well as her body to
-make a desperate effort for self-control.
-
-“You are ill. You should not have ventured out alone,” he said. (Oh, the
-strong, protecting voice; the firm, availing touch!) Then he led her to
-a seat, with some quiet words that seemed to put new power into her to
-endure and to resist.
-
-“I must go home,” she said, rising as she felt her strength return. “I
-have been ill. I did not know how weak I was.”
-
-“I will take you to your carriage,” he said; and without seeming to
-recognize the possibility of resistance, he drew her arm in his, and led
-her from the room and down the steps.
-
-It came to her, suddenly, that her carriage was not there.
-
-“I sent the carriage away,” she said. “I thought I would stay awhile,
-and see the pictures.”
-
-He signaled to a waiting cab, and as it drew up to the sidewalk, and he
-put her in, he said quietly, but with resolution:
-
-“I cannot let you go alone in this cab, ill and faint as you are. I beg
-your pardon, princess; but I must go with you”; and he gave the number
-to the cabman, and got in beside her.
-
-That word _Princess_ stung her pride, and gave her a sudden feeling of
-strength. She knew that he meant to convey by its use the idea that it
-was only as a matter of formal courtesy that he felt bound to care for
-and protect her now. She drew herself upright, with a slight bend of
-the head in acknowledgment of his civility.
-
-For a few moments they drove along in silence, utterly alone together.
-Harold wondered if the thoughts of other days and hours were in her
-mind. At the same instant she was wondering the same thing about him.
-She had forgotten that he had just spoken of her with formality, and
-called her princess. Apparently he had forgotten it, too; for he now
-said in a low tone and with suddenness:
-
-“Your picture is remarkable. You have told your story well.”
-
-She felt that denial would be useless. Since he had found her standing
-there before it, she was certain that he knew the truth as well as she
-did.
-
-“I never meant that it should be known that I painted it,” she said.
-“You must know that.”
-
-“Why should it not be known?” he said. “If a woman has looked on what
-those eyes have seen, surely she is called upon to give her warning. If
-that is what marriage meant to you, God pity you! God be thanked that
-you are out of it!”
-
-At his words there rushed across her mind the memory of a thousand acts
-and thoughts and words of tenderness, of love, of strong protection, of
-help in need and comfort in distress, which this man beside her had
-given her. How could she tell him, though, that the ground of the
-despair which she had painted had been the renunciation of these--the
-thought that she had had a vision of what the love of man and woman
-could be in a wedded life, and had been shut out from it? Where were now
-the reasons that had seemed so powerful and sufficient for the course
-which she had taken? Why was it that, try as she might, she could get no
-sense of support and satisfaction from recalling these? Was it because
-she felt them to be the foolish qualms of an ignorant girl, who was
-prepared to fight against any and all conditions of life which did not
-answer to her whim? O God, the hideous possibilities of error and of
-wrong that were about one! How confident of right one might be in doing
-an act of weakness and of shame!
-
-She could not answer his last words. She felt herself suddenly so
-possessed of the sense of his nearness that she could neither collect
-nor control her thoughts. Her eyes were lowered, and she could not see
-his face; but the very sight of his strong brown hand lying ungloved
-upon his knee, the very bend of that knee and fold of the gray trousers,
-seemed as familiar to her as her own body.
-
-Suddenly she seemed to feel that he was hers, and that she was his,
-whether they chose to recognize the fact or not; that God had joined
-them, and no man, not even themselves, had power to put them asunder.
-
-Harold, meantime, was wondering at her silence. Why was it that, after
-her old defiant fashion, she had had no answer ready for his bitterly
-felt and spoken words? That picture had stung his soul, and he would
-have died sooner than have owned to himself even a wish to have her
-back.
-
-In spite of this, he could not forget that they were alone together, and
-that she was ill and weak, and needed pity. He wondered suddenly if he
-had been cruel in what he had said to her, and had put too great a tax
-upon her strength.
-
-As this thought crossed his mind the cab stopped, and he became aware of
-a din of sound, made by the tramping of men and horses, and the blare
-of brass instruments and the beating of drums. The cabman leaned down
-and called to him, saying that the way had been crossed by a procession.
-It would be some time passing. Was monsieur in a great hurry? Harold
-answered no; and as he turned from the window he glanced toward the
-woman at his side, and saw that she was leaning back weakly in her
-corner, deadly pale. Her eyes met his, however, with a wide, direct,
-unflinching look, and he saw that there was no danger of her fainting.
-Consciousness, acute and powerful, was written in those eyes.
-
-Outside, the crowd pushed and jostled by, while the clatter of hoofs and
-feet came more distinctly to the ears as the sound of the band moved off
-in the distance. An instinct to protect that pallid face from being
-gazed upon made him draw down the thick silk blinds. He did this,
-explaining his motive to his companion in a few quick words. Then he
-turned and looked at her, and in the suddenly created gloom their eyes
-met.
-
-He was striving with all his might to keep the fire out of his; but
-suddenly he became aware of the same effort on her part, as she closed
-her lids an instant, and then, as if mastered by a feeling stronger
-than her will, opened them wide, and looked at him again.
-
-His heart leaped. His pulses throbbed. His cheeks flushed darkly. He
-moved a little nearer to her, so that their faces were close, and still
-her eyes met his with that wild, burning, concentrated gaze.
-
-“For God’s sake, what is it?” he said. But she did not move a muscle or
-an eyelash. She only gave her eyes to his, as one would hold up the
-printed page of a book to be read and understood.
-
-“What is it?” he said again, coming so near as to speak in the lowest
-whisper, while his hands grasped hard the top of his stick, and his
-breath came thick and fast.
-
-Her eyes still clung to his, but her lips were wordless.
-
-“I do not understand,” he said. “For God’s sake, speak! I do not want to
-lose control of myself, but I cannot forget that you have been my wife.”
-
-These words, which moved him so that he shook visibly, made apparently
-no impression upon her. Her breathing was so scant and so light as
-scarcely to lift the lace upon her breast; and, near as he was to her,
-he could not hear it. Was she, perhaps, unconscious? He might have
-thought so, but for the deep, intense consciousness in the gaze that she
-fixed upon him, and the flutter of her long-lashed lids as she shut and
-opened them occasionally from the strain of that prolonged look.
-
-Outside, the drum throbbed distantly, like the beating of a great
-excited heart. The thin call of a trumpet sounded keenly like a sigh of
-pain. Nearer the tramp of men and horses could be heard. But all these
-things only made them feel more absolutely alone together--this man and
-this woman who had once been one in marriage! With his breast heaving
-quickly with deep, uneven breaths, he suddenly uttered her name in a
-thick whisper.
-
-Still she remained as she had been before, motionless and wordless,
-while he read her eyes. He dropped his stick, and seized her hands in
-both his own, which were cold and shaking.
-
-“Speak!” he said commandingly. “In God’s name, what do you mean, unless
-it is that you love me still?”
-
-Her hands were quiet and nerveless in his grasp, and in another instant
-he would have lost control and consciousness of what he was doing. But
-at this very moment the cabman called to his horse and cracked his whip,
-the carriage gave a lurch forward, and they rattled rapidly away.
-
-Recollecting himself, Harold dropped the hands which he had seized so
-recklessly, and touched the springs of the curtains, which instantly
-flew up, letting in the full light of day.
-
-The fresh air which came in seemed to calm his heated blood, and he was
-master of himself again.
-
-When he turned to look at his companion, she was leaning back in exactly
-the same position, only her heavy, richly fringed white lids were
-dropped over her eyes.
-
-In this way she remained quite still until the carriage stopped before
-the door of her apartment. Harold, who thought that she had now really
-fainted, was about to summon help from the concierge, when she opened
-her eyes with a look of entire self-possession in them, got out of the
-cab without the aid of his offered hand, and, bowing her thanks, without
-speaking walked past him into the house, with a look of cool dismissal
-which made it impossible for him to follow.
-
-Puzzled, confused, bewildered almost to the point of frenzy, he got
-back into the cab, and ordered the driver to drive in the Bois until he
-should tell him to turn.
-
-Sonia, during that same time, was shut within her room, thinking as
-intensely as he. She had been able, by dint of enormous will-power, to
-control herself in all other points while indulging herself in one. She
-had said to herself during those crucial minutes in the cab, while she
-consciously threw open the windows of her soul to this man in that clear
-and unrestricted gaze, that she would neither speak nor stir, though the
-effort should kill her. She found that she could best carry out this
-resolve by relaxing her body utterly, while her will got every moment
-tenser in its strain. She had said to herself over and over to what
-seemed a thousand times: “Don’t move--don’t speak. Don’t move--don’t
-speak”; and the very consciousness that she was equal to this effort
-made her the more free in the abandonment with which she had let him
-read her heart in her eyes.
-
-Now, as she threw her wraps aside, and paced up and down her room, a
-feeling of delicious exultation possessed her, and the physical weakness
-which she had lately felt was gone and forgotten. It had been a draught
-of intoxicating joy simply to look at him with free and unbridled eyes.
-Was he not her husband, who could not be, by any act of man, really
-parted from her? What had she shown him but a woman’s feeling for her
-wedded lover? Was she crazy, she wondered, that she could have done it
-then, and could feel now no regret--only a wild delight--in having done
-it? O God, O God, how long it was that she had shut herself off from
-feeling, and how good it was to feel once more! She was alive in every
-nerve and pulse, as she had not been for so long; and the throbbing of
-life was sweet, sweet, sweet! Never mind about the future; she would
-meet it boldly, and make up some excuse--that she had been ill or
-unconscious in the cab--pretend that she had forgotten the whole
-thing--do anything that was needed, as to that!--but the throbbing bliss
-of that one half-hour, she exulted that she had been bold enough to make
-her own.
-
-
-
-
-XIX
-
-
-THE _cours_ was closed at Etienne’s, but Sonia, who could not bear to
-face the hours of idleness which each day must contain during the few
-weeks which her aunt was still to spend in Paris, got permission to come
-and work in the atelier during the afternoons. She was privileged to get
-her own models as she required them, and Martha was to come also when
-she had time and inclination.
-
-The day after her encounter with Harold at the Salon, Sonia, strong in
-purpose and confident in will, went to the atelier with only Inkling to
-protect her and keep her company, and set resolutely to work to do some
-severe drawing.
-
-She had abundance of both time and space now, and she settled herself
-with great care and deliberation, with the anatomical figures and
-numerous copies of Ingres’ drawings full in view. She had not worked
-very long, however, before her enthusiasm began to ebb, and she put
-down her charcoal and went across to the model-throne, where she sat
-down with her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, and fell to
-thinking deeply. Inkling came and jumped up in her lap, but she pushed
-him away with a roughness unusual to her, and he had to content himself
-with curling up on her skirt. As she sat there, conscious of being quite
-alone, she was as absolutely still as any of the customary holders of
-this position; but the varied expressions which crossed and changed her
-face would have made any class of students in the world despair of such
-a model. Sometimes she would look quite happy for an instant, as if a
-thought of joy had forced its way uppermost. Then again deep pain would
-come into her face, and shadows of doubt, perplexity, and hopelessness.
-
-She sat so for a long time. Inkling had had a deep and peaceful sleep on
-the soft folds of her gown, from which he was startled by a knock at the
-door. His mistress sprang up suddenly, rolling him over, and he began to
-bark furiously, while Sonia, with an attitude of studious absorption,
-took her place at the easel, and seized her bit of charcoal. She
-thought it was probably only some boy on an errand, but she was also
-acutely conscious of whom it might possibly be. So she was not entirely
-unprepared for the sight of Harold appearing quickly around the edge of
-the old sail-cloth screen.
-
-He bowed with a brevity and formality which seemed to imply that she
-need fear no agitating disturbance from him; but instead of standing in
-his place and stating the reason of his presence, he came forward.
-
-Inkling, wild with excitement, began a repetition of his frantic
-performances of the former occasion; but his mistress, determined to
-have nothing of that sort, promptly suppressed him, and he slunk away
-and lay down with great meekness.
-
-Harold, seeming to take no cognizance of the dog, came nearer, and
-waited until the absorbed figure before the easel should notice him.
-Presently she did this by saying formally:
-
-“Martha is not here. She has not been here to-day.”
-
-“She is at home. I have just left her,” he answered.
-
-“Oh, I beg your pardon! I thought you had come to see her.”
-
-“No; I have come to see you.”
-
-“To see me?” lifting her eyebrows in light surprise.
-
-“If you are at leisure.”
-
-“I am busy, as you see; but I can talk to you as I draw, if you don’t
-mind.”
-
-“If you will allow me, I will wait until your drawing is done.”
-
-“That would take up too much of your time,” she said, laying down her
-charcoal, and elaborately brushing off her fingers with her
-handkerchief.
-
-“Not at all. I have nothing to do.”
-
-“I would rather speak to you first--whatever it is you have to say--and
-go on with my work afterward. I dislike to draw with people looking on.”
-
-“In that case I will ask you to give me your attention at once. Will
-you, perhaps take this seat?”
-
-He indicated an old wooden arm-chair; but she declined it with a quick
-motion, and went over and took her old place on the model-throne,
-lifting Inkling to her lap. Harold seated himself on a bench directly
-facing her.
-
-“I am sorry if I am annoying you,” he said; “but I cannot take the
-consequences of not speaking to you now.”
-
-“Consequences?” she said. “What consequences?”
-
-“Consequences to you and to me. I will ask you to be kind enough to look
-at me while I explain them.”
-
-Her eyes were fastened upon Inkling, and she kept them so, while she
-began to twist his soft ears. There was a moment of intense stillness
-throughout the room. Then the man, in a voice of deep concentration,
-spoke her name.
-
-“Sophie,” he said.
-
-“Pray don’t call me by that name,” she answered quickly. “I have never
-liked it, and I wish now to forget it.”
-
-“Sonia, then, if you prefer it. I want simply to make plain the fact
-that I am speaking to _you_, the woman who bears that name, and not to
-the princess, as you are supposed to be.”
-
-“Go on,” she said.
-
-He was silent. She kept her eyes fixed on the dog until she was afraid
-that her stubbornness would look childish, or, worse even than that,
-timid. Then she looked up.
-
-The next instant she wished that she had not, for the compelling look
-that met her own did for a moment make her feel afraid. She summoned all
-her force, however, and looked at him defiantly, her head raised, her
-eyes steady.
-
-“I want you to explain to me what you meant yesterday,” he said.
-
-“What I meant yesterday? What do you mean?”
-
-“What you meant yesterday, driving home in the cab.”
-
-“What I meant yesterday by driving home in the cab? I suppose my meaning
-was the obvious one--that I was tired and ill, and that my own carriage
-was not there.”
-
-The timidity which she had felt before grew now into positive terror, as
-she felt the masterful force of this man’s power over her. So strong was
-her sense of it that she felt absolutely reckless of what she said or
-did, so long as she was able to resist him.
-
-“You will not move me, or change my intention--my _determination_ to get
-an answer to my question. Your evasion of it is childish as well as
-useless.”
-
-“I will be childish if I choose. Who is to prevent me?” she said
-defiantly.
-
-“I will. I have no intention of submitting to any such childishness
-now. You are a woman, and you are the only woman who exists for me. In
-that character I mean to have your answer to my question.”
-
-His words made her heart throb quick, with a feeling outside of the
-terror of self-betrayal by which she was possessed. She gave no outward
-sign, however, as she looked down, and began once more to pull at
-Inkling’s ears.
-
-Before she realized what he was doing, Harold had bent forward, and
-lifting the dog from her lap, he set him on the floor, with a shove that
-sent him half-way across the room. As the little creature ran off
-frightened, Harold turned to the woman facing him, and forcibly took
-both her hands in his.
-
-She jerked them from him with a powerful wrench, as she sprang to her
-feet, retreating a few paces until she was stopped by some benches and
-easels huddled together on that side of the room.
-
-“Don’t touch me!” she cried, in a voice of real terror.
-
-He let his hands drop to his sides, but he followed, and stood very
-close to her, as he said:
-
-“You had better answer me, and let me have my way. I am not to be
-turned now. This interview between us must be final, and I promise you
-that after it you shall be safe from any persecution from me. Now,
-however, the present moment is my own. I have you in my power--and that
-power I intend to use!”
-
-“An honorable and manly thing to say!” she panted, her eyes blazing and
-her lips curled. “Do you mean me to understand that you would use force
-to make me comply with your wish?”
-
-“I mean just that,” he answered, bending over her with eyes that gave
-her the feeling of a physical touch. “I will prevent your leaving this
-room until you have honestly and fairly spoken to me, and have either
-confirmed or denied what your eyes plainly said to me yesterday.”
-
-“You are cowardly and cruel!” she cried. “You are taking a mean
-advantage of me! I was ill yesterday. I was half unconscious--”
-
-“You may have been ill,” he interrupted. “I know indeed that you were,
-and that physical weakness may have led to self-betrayal; but you were
-not unconscious. Far from it. You were never more acutely conscious in
-your life than during those long moments when you looked at me with
-love.”
-
-“I deny it!” she cried angrily.
-
-“Useless!” he answered. “It is not to be denied.”
-
-She tried to draw farther away, but the barricade of easels stopped her.
-Then he himself stepped backward, and put some feet of space between
-them.
-
-“I cannot bear to see you shrink from me,” he said. “You will have to
-forgive a persistence that may seem to you brutal; but fate has put this
-opportunity into my hands, and I’d be a fool not to use it.”
-
-“And what do you expect to get from it?” she asked.
-
-“An answer in plain words to this question, Do you, or do you not, love
-me?”
-
-“I do not!” she cried hotly; but her breast was heaving so, her heart
-was throbbing so, that she could scarcely catch her breath; and she felt
-that not for all the world dared she look him in the face.
-
-“Your eyes yesterday contradicted your words of to-day,” he said. “I
-will not be content until I have had both. So help me God, you are not
-going to trifle with me now! I will make you look at me, and confirm
-with your eyes the words you have just spoken, or I’ll have you for my
-wife again!”
-
-He caught her in his arms, and drew her close against him. She opened
-her mouth as if to scream, but he laid his palm upon it, not forgetting,
-for all his strength, to touch her gently.
-
-“Oh, my darling, my precious one,” he said, “don’t call out for
-protection from me, as if I were your enemy! Surely you know that I
-would die by torture before I would hurt you--body or soul. But
-something--a wicked pride, perhaps--is making you struggle against the
-truth; and, for your sake as well as for my own, I must make a fight for
-it. Look! I offer you the chance. If you can look me in the face, and
-say with eyes and lips together, ‘Harold, I do not love you,’ then you
-are as free as air. If you can do that, I will go, and never cross your
-path again.”
-
-He had taken his hand from her mouth, for fear her panting breaths would
-cease. He could feel the violent beating of her heart against his side.
-An overwhelming tenderness and pity for her filled him, and his arm,
-relaxing its stern pressure, drew her close, with an embrace whose only
-constraint was that of love. Her ear was very close to him, and he spoke
-to her in the lowest whispers.
-
-“Dear one,” he said, “what is it you are fighting against, if it be not
-the coming back of love and joy?”
-
-He could not see her eyes. He did not wish to see them yet. This waiting
-was bliss, because there was hope in it.
-
-She had ceased to struggle, and was quiet in his arms. They stood so,
-many seconds, their hearts throbbing against each other, their cheeks
-pressed. In the unspeakable sweetness of his nearness, Harold felt
-against his face the moisture of a tear.
-
-“What is it?” he whispered. “You are crying! For God’s sake, tell me
-why!”
-
-A gentle little head-shake answered him; but she made no motion to draw
-herself away, and he, enraptured, held her close.
-
-“There is nothing--_nothing_ that you cannot tell to me,” he said, still
-in that whisper that thrilled the silence of the room. “Perhaps you do
-not understand. Listen, and I will make it all plain. I loved you then.
-I love you now. I have loved you through all the pain and silence in
-between. Oh, dearest, never dream but that you are still my own--wholly
-and unchangeably as I am yours--if only you love me!”
-
-She kept so still that he was puzzled. He made a motion to draw back his
-head and look at her, but she put up her hand and pressed his cheek
-still closer against hers. He passionately wished that she would speak;
-but there was no sound except that fluttered breathing, no motion but
-that little tremor which he felt against his side. She was weakening,
-weakening, weakening--he was sure of this; but he was in such an
-absolute terror of misunderstanding her mood that he dared not move or
-speak.
-
-As they stood there so, he felt a sudden tightening of the pressure of
-her arms. They strained him close against her. His heart leaped; but he
-was not sure. There was something that alarmed him even in that clasp of
-love.
-
-“Are you happy?” he whispered in the lowest murmur. But with a sudden
-wrench she tore herself away from him, and when he tried to follow,
-waved him back with a gesture which he could not disregard.
-
-“Happy!” she said in a voice that mocked the thought, as she wrung her
-hands together, and then, for a moment, hid her face in the curve of one
-tensely bended arm. “What have I to do with happiness?” she cried out,
-flinging wide her arms, and looking upward, as if appealing to some
-invisible presence rather than to him or to herself. “I had it given to
-me once in boundless measure, and I played with it, and tossed it from
-me. It was lightly and easily done, and now it cannot be undone.”
-
-Harold stood where her imperious gesture had stopped him, and looked at
-her in consternation.
-
-“What do you mean?” he said. “You will not try now to deny your love for
-me! You have owned it in that close embrace which can mean nothing
-but--”
-
-“Good-by!” she interrupted him. “It means inevitable parting. You must
-go, or, if not, I must fly to some place where we cannot meet again.”
-
-“But, dearest, we cannot part. I have told you how I love you in plain
-words. You have told me the same, without the need of words.”
-
-She looked at him,--a deep, inscrutable gaze,--and shook her head.
-
-“I have had perfect love once,” she said, “and from you--the one man
-whose love could ever have any meaning for me--love that included
-perfect trust, perfect confidence, perfect respect. I refuse to take
-from you a smaller thing. It is easier to give you up than to face that
-thought.”
-
-“But Sonia! Darling! You have got that love! I tell you it is just the
-same!”
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“It cannot be,” she said. “You would feel that what had been once might
-be again. You could never feel secure for even one moment. I could not
-bear it. You must remember what I felt in that one embrace. Oh, Harold,
-I _want_ you to remember that! And now you must let me go.”
-
-“Go?” he said. “Where should you go, but here to me--to your right
-place, your home, your husband?”
-
-At this last word she gave a sharp cry. She had been standing
-unsupported, and now a sudden trembling seized her, and she half
-tottered toward a chair. In an instant he was at her side, his arms
-about her, fast and sure. It was too sweet, this strong and tender
-holding up of her weak body. She let it be, but she was motionless and
-wordless in his arms.
-
-“My own child,” he said, “there can be no question as to our future now.
-It was all a mistake--the past! If we acknowledge it--”
-
-“Oh, the past, the past!” she said. “I can never get away from it. We
-have lost two years. No matter if we had the whole future of time and
-eternity, we could never get those back--and it was I that did it! It is
-good of you to say that you forgive me; but I--oh, I never can forgive
-myself! You never can believe in me again. I dare not ask or look for
-it. I don’t deserve it. You would be wrong and foolish if you did.”
-
-“Then wrong and foolish I will be!” he said. “I will believe in you
-again and again, forever! You have forgotten something, Sonia. There is
-no question of judgment between you and me, because you are myself. Do
-you not feel that that is so?”
-
-She did not answer, and he said again, in that compelling tone she knew
-so well:
-
-“Do you not feel it so, my wife?”
-
-She raised to his, unswervingly, eyes that were clear as stars after
-their recent tears. She unveiled her soul to him as daringly as she had
-done yesterday, and the message that they gave him was the
-same--abundant, free, unstinted love, without reserve or fear.
-
-He drew her quickly closer, still holding her eyes with his.
-
-“Speak! Tell me!” he said.
-
-Then voice and look together spoke:
-
-“I love you, Harold--my husband!”
-
-He took the dear words from her lips with his.
-
- * * * * *
-
-AFTERWARD, when they were seated together on the model-throne, they were
-startled by a timid little tinkling, and as they both with a sense of
-compunction called to Inkling to come, and he sprang up between them
-quivering with joy, and making frantic efforts to lick both their faces
-at once, their laughs and struggles made such a commotion that they did
-not hear the door open, admitting Martha.
-
-She half crossed the room, and then stood still, transfixed with
-amazement, till they drew her down between them and told her everything.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“SO you are not a princess, after all!” said Martha.
-
-“Oh, yes I am,” Sonia answered quickly. “I’m ‘The Happy Princess’--and
-this is my Prince!”
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Princess Sonia, by Julia Magruder
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-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
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-Title: The Princess Sonia
-
-Author: Julia Magruder
-
-Illustrator: Charles Dana Gibson
-
-Release Date: July 13, 2020 [EBook #62637]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
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-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS SONIA ***
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-<hr class="full" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" height="550" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""
-style="border:2px solid gray;padding:.5em;
-margin:1em auto;max-width:70%;text-align:center;" class="smcap">
-<tr><td>
-<a href="#LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS">List of Illustrations</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td>
-<a href="#THE_PRINCESS_SONIA">The Princess Sonia: </a>
-<a href="#I">I, </a>
-<a href="#II">II, </a>
-<a href="#III">III, </a>
-<a href="#IV">IV, </a>
-<a href="#V">V, </a>
-<a href="#VI">VI, </a>
-<a href="#VII">VII, </a>
-<a href="#VIII">VIII, </a>
-<a href="#IX">IX, </a>
-<a href="#X">X, </a>
-<a href="#XI">XI, </a>
-<a href="#XII">XII, </a>
-<a href="#XIII">XIII, </a>
-<a href="#XIV">XIV, </a>
-<a href="#XV">XV, </a>
-<a href="#XVI">XVI, </a>
-<a href="#XVII">XVII, </a>
-<a href="#XVIII">XVIII, </a>
-<a href="#XIX">XIX.</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="c">THE PRINCESS SONIA</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_0" id="fig_0"></a>
-<img src="images/i_frontispiece.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“THE BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN ... HAD STEPPED BACK FROM HER
-EASEL.” (<a href="#page_3">SEE PAGE 3</a>.)</p>
-</div>
-
-<h1>THE PRINCESS SONIA</h1>
-
-<p class="c">BY<br />
-<br />
-JULIA MAGRUDER<br />
-<br />
-<br />
-<br />
-WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY<br />
-CHARLES DANA GIBSON<br />
-<br />
-<br />
-<img src="images/i_title.jpg"
-width="75"
-alt=""
-/>
-<br />
-<br />
-NEW YORK<br />
-THE CENTURY CO.<br />
-1895<br />
-<br /><br /><br /><small>
-Copyright, 1895, by<br />
-<span class="smcap">The Century Co.</span><br />
-<br />
-<br />
-THE DE VINNE PRESS.<br /></small>
-<br /><br /><br />
-TO GENEVIEVE</p>
-
-<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_0">“The beautiful young Woman ... had stepped back from her Easel”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_6"><small><i>Frontispiece</i></small></a></td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt"><small>FACING PAGE</small></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_1">“A little American Chatterbox”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_6">6</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_2">“A tall old Man”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_16">16</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_3">“The Princess was very tall”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_20">20</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_4">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>It will be quite safe, I see’<span class="lftspc">”</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_31">31</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_5">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Ah, I have made a Mistake, I see’<span class="lftspc">”</span> </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_37"><small>PAGE</small> 37</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_6">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Alice has a fine Voice’<span class="lftspc">”</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_39">39</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_7">“In the American Colony”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_43">43</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_8">“Her Head in its large plumed Hat”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_50">50</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_9">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Is it you, Martha?’<span class="lftspc">”</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_58">58</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_10">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, I am so, so sorry’<span class="lftspc">”</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_60">60</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_11">“The Man who stood waiting to give the Bride”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_76">76</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_12">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I knew it was Anguish to you’<span class="lftspc">”</span> </a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_92"><small>PAGE</small> 92</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_13">“As she had seen her once before”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_93">93</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_14">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>Oh, Sonia, were you ever really as happy as that?’<span class="lftspc">”</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_98">98</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_15">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I beg your Pardon,’ he said again”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_104">104</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_16">“Among the Flower-stalls”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_106">106</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_17">“Sonia passed very near him”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_124">124</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><a href="#fig_18">“She put on a long Cloak”</a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_196">196</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_1" id="page_1">{1}</a></span></p>
-
-<h1><a name="THE_PRINCESS_SONIA" id="THE_PRINCESS_SONIA"></a>THE PRINCESS SONIA</h1>
-
-<h2><a name="I" id="I"></a>I</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">M</span>ARTHA KEENE had been at work for several months in Etienne’s atelier,
-in the Latin quarter of Paris, and although her appearance would have
-led one to believe her frail in health, she had never missed a
-working-day, and always occupied a good position well in view of the
-model, because she always came among the earliest to secure it. Her work
-was far from brilliant, and Etienne had noticed her very little at
-first. If he did so more of late, it was her ability to stick which had
-won her this favor. So many students had come and gone, rousing his
-hopes only to disappoint them, that it had got to be rather a comfort to
-the little old man to be sure of one earnest worker always in her place;
-and while he could not say that her work was good, it was certainly not
-bad.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_2" id="page_2">{2}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Recently he had told Martha this several times. “Not bad” was about the
-highest praise that most of Etienne’s pupils got from him; and when the
-young American girl heard it for the first time applied to her work, she
-experienced what was perhaps one of the most thrilling sensations of her
-life.</p>
-
-<p>It was followed by another thrilling sensation; for, as she looked up
-from the canvas which the master had thus commended, she met the
-beautiful eyes of the princess, turned upon her with a congratulatory
-smile.</p>
-
-<p>It was almost too much for Martha. Her heart thumped so that her
-breathing became rapid and a little difficult. Instead of answering the
-princess’s smile, a frown contracted her forehead; for she was afraid
-that she was going to lose her self-control, and she needed a stern
-effort not to do so. Martha had a heart which was made for worshiping.
-Etienne and the princess were two of the people that she worshiped, and
-there was a third.</p>
-
-<p>When Etienne had passed on, after smudging one part of her drawing with
-his thumb until it was a dirty blur, and scratching another part with
-ruthless streaks of soft charcoal, she remembered she had received his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_3" id="page_3">{3}</a></span>
-first words of encouragement rather coldly, and had made the same sort
-of return for the princess’s smile. This plunged her from a state of
-delight into one of wretchedness. She looked toward the master with some
-hope of making amends; but he was too absorbed in his next criticism,
-and it was only too evident that her chance was gone. Then she glanced
-at the princess, to receive the same impression from that quarter. The
-beautiful young woman on whom her eyes rested had stepped back from her
-easel, and with her head turned sidewise, and her eyelids drawn up, was
-looking at her picture. She held a brush in one hand, with the fingers
-delicately poised, and in the other her palette, laid with brilliant
-dabs of color. Her lips were pursed critically, and her whole attitude
-and expression showed such absorption in her work that Martha felt it
-would be absurd to imagine that she or her behavior could have any part
-in that beautiful lady’s consciousness.</p>
-
-<p>As usual, when Martha allowed herself to look at the princess, she
-forgot everything else. She had long ago had to make it a rule to place
-her easel so that she would be turned away from her enchantress while
-she was work<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4">{4}</a></span>ing; otherwise she could see and think only of her. At the
-present moment she was completely fascinated by the tall, strong figure,
-so firmly poised, with one foot advanced, and her body thrown backward
-from the slender waist, where a belt of old silver confined the folds of
-her red silk shirt-waist above the sweep of her skirt of dark green
-serge. This was her ordinary working-rig; and as she wore no apron, as
-most of the other students did, it was more or less streaked with paint.
-Martha herself wore her calico apron religiously, and was always neatly
-clothed beneath it; but she would have protested utterly against seeing
-her neighbor in an apron. It would have looked so unprincesslike! She
-was very tall and straight, this princess, and “Serene Highness” seemed
-to Martha to be written on every inch of her.</p>
-
-<p>There was not much sociability among the students in the atelier. They
-came from many different countries, and spoke many different tongues;
-and they were such a mixture of aristocrats and plebeians&mdash;some were so
-afraid of patronizing and others of being patronized,&mdash;that the
-conditions generally were such as were opposed to much mixing. Talking
-was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5">{5}</a></span> forbidden during work-hours, except the little absolutely necessary
-whispering; and in the intermission at noon the princess always went
-away for lunch, and sometimes did not return. Martha, too, went to her
-mother’s apartment for the midday meal, though nothing ever prevented
-her from returning. Some of the students had chums, with whom they
-chatted glibly in the cloak-room; but as a rule, these intimacies had
-been formed outside.</p>
-
-<p>Martha Keene was a girl who would never have made the first advance
-toward an acquaintance with any one; for, although she had passed her
-twentieth year, she was incorrigibly shy. This reserve of manner was so
-evident that it discouraged advances from others. She knew this and
-regretted it, but could not help it.</p>
-
-<p>It had pleased Martha very much when, on a single occasion, this wall of
-isolation which she had built around herself had been broken through by
-a little American chatterbox, who had rattled away to her for ten
-minutes one day as she was waiting for her carriage in the cloak-room.
-This had been soon after her entrance at Etienne’s, and her voluble
-country-woman had vanished from the horizon the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6">{6}</a></span> next day; but in that
-one talk she had got almost all the knowledge of the atelier which she
-possessed.</p>
-
-<p>Her informant had told her that the students were not supposed to
-inquire about one another at all, the ideal of the atelier being a place
-where high and low alike could lay aside their disabilities and get the
-benefits of the common workshop. She added that there had been several
-personages of importance studying there since she herself had been a
-student, but that she had always heard of it from the outside, and they
-had generally left before she had identified them. “I spotted the
-princess, though,” she had said. “As soon as I heard that there was a
-Russian princess studying here, I picked her out. Do you know which one
-she is?” Martha had answered, “The lady in the red blouse”&mdash;a guess at
-once confirmed. “Isn’t she stunning?” her companion had gone on; “I’m
-dying to speak to her! If she were not a princess, I’d have done it long
-ago. I can’t go the Russian; but no doubt she speaks every language.
-Russians always do.” At this point of the conversation the lady herself
-had come into the cloak-room. A neat French maid who was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7">{7}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_1" id="fig_1"></a>
-<img src="images/i_006.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“A LITTLE AMERICAN CHATTERBOX.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">in waiting had come forward, and held out her lady’s wrap, a magnificent
-sable thing, in which the beautiful creature had quickly infolded
-herself, and left the room, the two girls meanwhile making a tremendous
-effort to cover their breathless interest by an air of unconsciousness.</p>
-
-<p>Ever since that day&mdash;indeed, even before it&mdash;Martha had been a silent
-worshiper at the shrine of the princess. She had a passionate love of
-beauty, and her heart, for all her grave and shy exterior, was packed as
-full of romance as it could hold. The discovery that this beautiful
-being was a princess&mdash;and a Russian princess, of all others&mdash;was meet
-food for this appetite for the romantic; and she dreamed by the hour
-about this young woman’s life, and wondered what it had been and was to
-be. She knew she could not be many years older than herself, and she
-wondered, with burning interest, whether she was or was not married.
-Sometimes she would hold to one opinion for days, and then something&mdash;a
-mere turn of expression, perhaps&mdash;would convert her to the opposite one.
-She wanted her to be unmarried, so that she might be free to construct
-from her imagination a beautiful<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8">{8}</a></span> future for her; and yet she dreaded to
-find out that she was married. There was certainly a look about the
-princess which contradicted Martha’s ideal of her as the possessor of a
-fair, unwritten life-page. Martha had watched her hands to see if she
-wore a wedding-ring; but those extraordinarily beautiful hands were
-either loaded down with jeweled gauds of antique workmanship or else
-quite ringless. Still, many married women were careless about wearing
-their wedding-rings, a thing which Martha herself could not comprehend;
-but she felt that this wonderful creature was removed as far as possible
-from her in both actuality and ideas.</p>
-
-<p>Martha had heard the sound of the princess’s voice only once or twice,
-and on those occasions she had spoken French with what seemed to the
-American girl an absolutely perfect accent. Once she had been near
-enough to hear a little talk between the princess and Etienne, as he was
-criticizing the former’s work with rather more humanness, Martha
-thought, than he showed to the students generally; and once or twice
-when the princess had been placed near the model’s little retiring-room,
-Martha had had the joy of hearing her divinity give<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9">{9}</a></span> the summons, in the
-usual atelier jargon, “C’est l’heure!” It seemed to the girl a most
-lovable act of condescension on the part of her Serene Highness.</p>
-
-<p>One day (it was the day after Etienne had told her that her drawing was
-“not bad,” and the princess had smiled at her) Martha was working away,
-when she became aware that an easel was being pushed into the unoccupied
-space at her right hand. She had known that some one would soon take
-possession of this place, and she did not even look round to see who it
-was. Her whole attention was bent on making Etienne see that his
-encouragement had yielded good fruit, even though she had made no verbal
-acknowledgment of it. She went on drawing, with intense concentration,
-until, weary at last, she put down her charcoal, and stood resting her
-arms, with her hands on her hips. As she finished her scrutiny of her
-work, and looked around, she started to discover that it was the
-princess who was seated at the easel next her own, and was looking full
-at her. As Martha, confused and delighted, encountered that gaze, the
-beautiful lady’s lips parted in a friendly smile, and she whispered
-gently,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10">{10}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Bon jour.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha crimsoned with pleasure as she returned the greeting, and then
-both fell to work again. The princess was painting, laying on her color
-in a broad and daring style that almost frightened her neighbor. Martha
-watched her furtively while she crumbled her bread, and pretended to be
-erasing and touching up certain points in her picture. It was a
-bewildering delight to her to stand so close to the princess and see her
-at work, and she was agreeably aware that the princess was also aware of
-her, and perhaps even pleased at their being together.</p>
-
-<p>When the time came for the model to rest, and the quiet of the room was
-a little relieved by the whispered talk that sprang up among the
-students as they waited, Martha felt that the princess had inclined
-toward her a little, and was looking at her work. She put down as
-childish the impulse that rushed up in her to cover the picture from
-sight, or to say how bad she knew it was, and she stood very still and
-very much embarrassed until the princess said again, in that exquisite
-utterance of French subtleties,</p>
-
-<p>“C’est bien difficile, n’est-ce pas?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11">{11}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Martha answered her somehow&mdash;she never knew what.</p>
-
-<p>When the model came back, and they began to work again, she felt that
-she had become part of a wonderful experience. She had never seen the
-princess talking to any one else, and, amazing and undeserved as the
-tribute was, she could not be mistaken in thinking that the lovely lady
-wished to know her, and perhaps to allow her the dear privilege of such
-intercourse as their atelier life permitted. She never expected it to go
-beyond that; but that was far more than anything she had imagined.</p>
-
-<p>Across one corner of her canvas Martha’s name was scrawled in full, and
-she knew that the princess must have seen it. She looked to see if there
-was any signature upon the princess’s picture, and, as if interpreting
-her thought, her neighbor, with a brilliant smile, dipped her brush in
-vermilion, and wrote in a bold, strong hand the word “Sonia.” This name
-(which Martha did not know to be the Russian abbreviation of Sophia)
-seemed to the girl very odd and beautiful, and peculiarly appropriate to
-its possessor.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12">{12}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II</h2>
-
-<p>Martha said nothing to her mother and sisters of her encounter with the
-princess. She had a way of locking very close in her heart her most
-personal and sacred feelings, and all that related to the princess was
-sacred to her now. During her earlier years she had so often been
-laughed at for an enthusiast that she had learned to keep back what she
-felt most strongly; and for that very reason, perhaps, the intensity of
-her feelings grew greater as she grew older. The enthusiasm of her life
-was for her only brother, whom she worshiped with a blind idolatry of
-the extent of which even he was unaware. There had been one or two other
-divinities in her horizon, always second to Harold; but at this period
-of her life she was suffering from a sense of disappointment in these
-as, one after the other, they had come short of her ardent expectations.
-She was now, therefore, in the exact state of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13">{13}</a></span> mind to take on a new
-object of worship. This the princess had become.</p>
-
-<p>It was not surprising that Martha’s ideal had been so repeatedly
-unrealized, for it was a difficult one. She had suffered acutely from
-her former disappointments, and had even resolved never to pin her faith
-and hope on another woman. But the princess was not to be resisted.
-Martha felt that even if her goddess never spoke to her again, she was
-worthy of all adoration.</p>
-
-<p>As the young girl drove through the streets of Paris in the early
-morning of the day following her brief interview with the princess, her
-heart was very happy.</p>
-
-<p>In appearance Martha was small and rather plain; and no one would have
-noticed her, perhaps, but for the concentration of expression on her
-face as she looked out of the carriage window on her way to her atelier
-in the Latin Quarter. The people abroad at that hour were not of a class
-to pay much attention to such a look on a girl’s face. The little army
-of street-cleaners, occupying their brief hour with busy industry to
-produce the beautiful effect of gay cleanliness which the world enjoyed
-later in the day, had no time to notice Martha, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14">{14}</a></span> she was as unaware
-of them. Even the ice on the figures in the fountains of the Place de la
-Concorde, which she generally admired in passing, she did not so much as
-see to-day. The “cold sea-maidens” wore an unusually beautiful veil of
-mist, made by the freezing spray, and Martha might have got an
-impression for some future picture if she had studied it with the early
-sunlight on it.</p>
-
-<p>But she was thinking only of the princess as she drove along and crossed
-the bridge and entered old Paris. Here, too, all was familiar, for
-Martha had taken this drive daily for months, and there was nothing to
-disturb her preoccupation until she reached the Invalides, where her
-hero-worshiping soul never failed to offer a passing tribute of awe to
-the ashes of Napoleon.</p>
-
-<p>As she turned into a cross street farther on, a little funeral
-procession met her. This sight, too, was familiar; but no wont and usage
-could keep Martha from being deeply moved as often as she witnessed the
-pitiful little ceremonial which attends the burial of the very poor in
-Paris.</p>
-
-<p>It is usually in the early morning that these funerals occur, as there
-seems to be a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15">{15}</a></span> demand upon the poor to give up to the more prosperous
-even the space in the streets which they, with their dead, lay claim to
-for so short a time. This was a child’s funeral, or, rather, it was the
-funeral of two children. There was neither hearse nor carriage. Each
-little coffin was borne upon a wretched bier carried by rough and shabby
-men, who appeared cross and reluctant in their miserable, faded
-trappings of mourning. Looking carefully, Martha discovered that there
-was a separate family of mourners to each little bier; and as the whole
-procession was under the command of a tall old man, who held his
-shoulders very erect, as if to atone for a limp in one leg, she
-comprehended that this bedizened old undertaker, with the ragged crape
-on his cocked hat and the dirty bunches of black and white ribbons on
-the end of his long staff of office, had consolidated his duties,
-probably at a slight and very welcome discount to his poor patrons, and
-was burying the dead of two families at once. Directly after him came
-the bearers of the light coffin, and just behind it were five little
-children, four girls and a boy, walking abreast, and dressed in
-mourning. This mourning con<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16">{16}</a></span>sisted of hastily fashioned aprons made of
-dull black calico, and so carelessly fitted that the many-colored
-undergarments of the children showed plainly at every opening. The
-children were regular little steps, the boy being the youngest; and cold
-as it was, they were all bareheaded. Each carried a sprig of yellow
-bloom, which resembled, if indeed it was not, the mustard-flower. This
-they held very stiffly and correctly in their right hands, and they
-walked with an air of the utmost decorum. Behind them came their father
-and mother, the former looking more apathetic than sad, and the latter
-carrying with some complacency the dignity of a dingy and draggled crape
-veil, in frank contrast to a blue-and-green plaid dress. She was taller
-than her husband, and leaned awkwardly upon his arm, keeping no time
-whatever to his shuffling gait. Then came the other coffin and the
-second group of mourners, who were evidently not so fashionable as the
-first; for they made no effort at mourning, and walked after their
-little dead one with nothing like a flower, and in their common
-working-clothes.</p>
-
-<p>While Martha’s carriage was passing this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17">{17}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_2" id="fig_2"></a>
-<img src="images/i_016.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“A TALL OLD MAN.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">procession, she saw on the other side of them, going in the same
-direction with her, a smart turnout in which a gentleman was driving,
-with a groom behind. The horses shone like satin, and their harness
-jingled and glittered in the morning sunshine. The gentleman and his
-servant were dressed with a brilliant effect of care and detail. The
-former was smoking a cigarette, and had a scarlet flower in his coat.</p>
-
-<p>As the little funeral procession passed this carriage, the young swell
-who was driving bared his head, with its smoothly parted blond hair,
-remaining uncovered until the procession had passed, his servant
-imitating his act. This little tribute of homage to death which the
-French take the pains to perform always touched and pleased Martha. She
-thought of the absurdity of this man’s uncovering his head to that
-pauper baby alive; but the mystery of death imparted to it a majesty
-which the equal mystery of life could not. This child was a partaker of
-the knowledge of the unknown, into which Napoleon, lying near by, had
-also entered, and was, with him, divided from the merely mortal.</p>
-
-<p>Martha thought of this as she watched the showy carriage, which had
-relaxed its speed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18">{18}</a></span> for a moment, whirling rapidly away toward the
-outskirts of the city. She wondered where that handsome,
-prosperous-looking, well-bred man was going at this early hour. Probably
-to fight a duel, she thought, in her romantic way! Perhaps in a few
-hours’ time he might be as dead as the poor little baby; and perhaps
-there was some one who loved and adored him as she did Harold!</p>
-
-<p>These were the ideas which filled her mind as she reached the atelier,
-there to learn that there was a disappointment about the model, who had
-failed to come.</p>
-
-<p>She was about to take off her wraps, and go to work on some drawings
-from casts, when an exquisite voice behind her said suddenly, “Pardon,
-mademoiselle,” and she turned to meet the gaze of the princess fixed
-upon her with a smile of lovely friendliness.</p>
-
-<p>“What are you going to do?” she said in that faultless French which
-Martha had already admired.</p>
-
-<p>For a moment the girl was quite overcome at such unexpected
-graciousness. Then she managed to say in her own faulty though perfectly
-fluent French, that she had thought she would go on and do what she
-could without a model.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19">{19}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“It is so dull, after having that glorious Antonio to pose for one,”
-said the princess. “I am not in the humor, and my carriage is gone.
-Yours, perhaps, is gone also. Do you feel like drawing to-day? Or do
-you, perhaps, feel more like calling a cab, and taking a drive with me?
-I should like it. Will you go?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha crimsoned with pleasure as she accepted the invitation. There was
-no mistaking her delight at the suggestion.</p>
-
-<p>“You are very good to go,” said the other, “especially as you know
-nothing of me, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know only that you are the princess&mdash;the Russian princess,” said
-Martha.</p>
-
-<p>Her companion frowned slightly, and, Martha thought, looked a little
-annoyed. She reflected that she ought not, perhaps, to have told her
-that her secret had been discovered.</p>
-
-<p>The little frown soon passed, however, and the princess smiled genially
-as she said:</p>
-
-<p>“I am living incognito in Paris to study painting, and I do not go into
-the world. When I am not working I am often bored, and I frequently long
-for companionship. You make me very grateful by giving me yours this
-morning.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20">{20}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>The princess was very tall&mdash;so tall that when Martha walked at her side
-she had to turn her face upward to speak to her. They walked along in
-the most natural companionship until they reached a cab-stand nearby,
-and Martha thought her divinity more worshipful than ever as she stood
-wrapped in her long cloak, with a large, black-plumed hat crowning her
-beautiful head, and said some words of gentle pity about the poor old,
-weak-kneed cab-horses drawn up in a line.</p>
-
-<p>When they had entered a cab, and were seated side by side, the princess
-said abruptly:</p>
-
-<p>“If you had not heard something of me, I should have told you nothing.
-Why should we ask questions about each other? We meet to-day, art
-students in a Paris atelier, and we shall part to-morrow. What have we
-to do with formalities? Of you I know that you are a young American
-studying painting here, and I think, in a way, sympathetic to me. I am
-content to know that, and no more, of you. Do you feel the same about
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha replied eagerly in the affirmative, and in five minutes the two
-had come to a perfect understanding. The girl felt her awe at being in
-“the presence” gradually fading away,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21">{21}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_3" id="fig_3"></a>
-<img src="images/i_020.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“THE PRINCESS WAS VERY TALL.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">as this winning young woman sat and talked with her on a footing of
-friendly equality. It was after a short silence between them that the
-princess said:</p>
-
-<p>“There are one or two things that it will be necessary for you to
-know&mdash;that is, if you like me well enough to come to see me, as I hope
-you do. I am living in the Rue Presbourg, and when you come to see me,
-you are to ask for the apartment of the Princess Mannernorff. You will
-come, will you not?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if you will only let me, it will be my greatest happiness!” said
-Martha. “I can’t understand what has made you so good to me!”</p>
-
-<p>“Simply, I like you. It isn’t hard to understand. I’ve noticed you a
-long time, and I’ve liked you more and more. I like your manner; I like
-your face; I like your devotion to your work; and I like your work.”</p>
-
-<p>“My work! My scratching and smudging, you mean! Oh, how <i>can</i> you notice
-it or care for it when you look at yours? Every one must see that
-Etienne knows that you are his best pupil. He does not speak to any one
-as he does to you, and you must know as well as I that it is not because
-you are a princess.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22">{22}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, of course; I know that perfectly well. But I fancy that Etienne,
-in his little critical heart, feels that he hasn’t got out of me what he
-looked for at first. At least, I have that idea; and you see I have
-studied enough, compared with you, to be a great deal further ahead of
-you than I am. I have digged and delved for that treasure more than you
-realize. I hope to do something tolerable some day; but I’m not as
-confident about it as I used to be, and I fear Etienne is not, either.
-Oh, I <i>wish</i> I could!”</p>
-
-<p>She said this with such fervor, and followed it by such a wistful sigh,
-that Martha, who had not yet taken in the idea that the princess might
-not be the all-fortunate creature she imagined, felt a sudden protest
-against the thought of her wishing for anything vainly.</p>
-
-<p>“Surely you will!” she said. “I can’t imagine your wanting anything very
-much without getting it.”</p>
-
-<p>The princess laughed, throwing up her chin, and looking at Martha with
-an indulgent smile.</p>
-
-<p>“You can’t?” she exclaimed. “Well, if you take the trouble to continue
-my acquaintance, you will find that I’ve missed pretty much<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23">{23}</a></span> everything
-in life that I very greatly wanted. It is sad, but true.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha did not answer, but she looked as if she would like to speak out
-something that was on her mind, and her companion saw this, and said:</p>
-
-<p>“What is it? Speak! I give you full permission.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was nothing,” said Martha, rather confusedly. “I was wondering about
-you&mdash;as, of course, I can’t help doing. I don’t want to be told things,
-however. I would far rather imagine how they are.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very, very sensible. I see that I shall like you more and more. There
-are a few things, however, which it will be well for you to know. For
-instance,”&mdash;she paused, with a slight look of reluctance, and then went
-on rapidly,&mdash;“no doubt you wonder whether I am married.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha’s eyes confirmed her.</p>
-
-<p>A cloud seemed to have settled with surprising suddenness upon the face
-of the princess. She looked fixedly at the passing prospect outside the
-window as, after a moment of difficult silence, she said almost
-brusquely:</p>
-
-<p>“I am a widow.” Then she turned and looked at Martha. “You will
-understand, for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24">{24}</a></span> the future,” she went on more naturally, “my wish for
-silence on this subject. I am living temporarily in Paris with my aunt.
-I used to know French society well, but I am out of it now, and I don’t
-regret it. Painting is the only thing I really care for&mdash;that, and
-music, and some books; some, but not many. Books give such false ideas
-of life. I think it was what I read in books that led me to expect so
-much. I was not to be convinced but that all the happiness I imagined
-was quite possible; and when it would not come to me, I thought there
-was a force in me which could compel it. As a rule, I’ve given that idea
-up; but there are times even yet when it rises and conquers me. I know
-it is very foolish, and that experience cures one of such feelings, but
-I’m not altogether cured yet, in spite of hard and repeated blows.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha had listened with intense interest, and now, as her companion
-paused, she felt that she ought to volunteer, on her part, some sort of
-sketch of herself and her surroundings.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t care to tell you anything about myself,” she said, “because
-it’s so uninteresting. My father has been dead a great many years; mama
-is delicate; and we live in Paris<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25">{25}</a></span> so that I may study painting and the
-younger girls may have lessons. We go to America for the summers. My
-brother is the eldest of us, and he lives there. The younger girls are
-pretty, and mama wishes them to go into society and to be admired. She
-used also to wish this for me, but she saw how I hated it, and how
-little chance I had in it, so she lets me alone now, particularly since
-I got Harold to speak to her.”</p>
-
-<p>“Are you sure that she would not disapprove of your friendship with me,
-knowing of me only the little that you are able to tell her?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I’m certain of it. She wouldn’t mind. She knows I never get into
-mischief. I feel perfectly free to do as I choose about this, and I
-don’t mean to mention you to any one&mdash;not because there would be any
-objection, but because you are too sacred to me, and if you let me be
-your friend, I can’t share that knowledge and possession with any one.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha was determined to say this, but she did not accomplish it without
-a good deal of hesitation and embarrassment. Her companion looked at her
-with a sort of wondering scrutiny.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26">{26}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Where do you get that earnest, concentrated nature, I wonder&mdash;so
-different from mine!” she said. “Does it go with the American character?
-Your words are very foolish, child; but it is so long since any one has
-held me sacred that I am ridiculously touched by it.”</p>
-
-<p>There was something that looked like rising tears in the beautiful eyes
-of the princess; but a gay little laugh soon banished the shadow from
-both her face and her voice. Suddenly she sat upright and said:</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose you come home with me now! I want you to learn the ways of the
-place, so that you may come and go as you please. Will you come with me
-there to-day?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha agreed at once, and with evident satisfaction the princess leaned
-out of the window, and gave the address to the cabman.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27">{27}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III</h2>
-
-<p>Martha felt herself in a dream of delight as she descended from the cab,
-and, following the princess into the courtyard of a large
-apartment-house in the Rue Presbourg, mounted the stairs at her side.</p>
-
-<p>Their ring was answered by a foreign-looking man-servant, to whom the
-princess spoke in a tongue which Martha recognized as Russian, but of
-which she understood not a word. She saw, however, that it related to
-herself; for the servant, who wore a curious and elaborate livery,
-looked at her and bowed.</p>
-
-<p>“I have been telling him,” explained the princess, “that whenever you
-come you are to be brought at once to my private sitting-room, whether I
-am at home to other people or not. If it should chance that I cannot see
-you,&mdash;an unlikely thing, for I generally do what I want, and I shall
-always want to see you,&mdash;my maid can bring you word there. You see,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28">{28}</a></span> I
-am not going to take any risk of having you turned away from my door.”</p>
-
-<p>The antechamber into which they had been admitted was charmingly
-furnished, not at all in the French style; and there was something in
-the whole environment of the princess which commended itself strongly to
-Martha’s artistic taste. Everything that she saw, as she passed along,
-deepened this impression. She followed her companion in excited silence
-through the antechamber, and into the large and sunny salon, where two
-persons were sitting.</p>
-
-<p>One was a little old lady with very white hair, elaborately arranged
-under a queer-looking lace cap fastened with jeweled pins; the other was
-a dark and severely dressed woman, who, Martha at once saw, was a sort
-of companion or maid. As the princess approached, this woman rose and
-courtesied. The old lady looked up, with some surprise in her placid
-face, and immediately laid down her embroidery, and took up a silver
-ear-trumpet, holding out her other hand to the princess.</p>
-
-<p>The latter bent, and kissed the proffered fingers lightly, and then,
-raising her voice a little, uttered several sentences in Russian<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29">{29}</a></span> into
-the trumpet, at the same time indicating Martha in a way that made her
-understand that this was an introduction. The girl also bent, and kissed
-the hand now extended to her, and then the princess led her away.</p>
-
-<p>“My poor aunt is so deaf,” she said, “that it is almost impossible to
-talk to her, and I could not go into any long explanation about you. She
-never interferes with me, however, and no questions will be asked. Come
-now to my own room.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha, following her companion, found herself in a small boudoir
-opening into a bedroom. The door of the latter was open, and the two
-apartments gave an impression which she told herself she could best
-describe by the word lovable. The musical instruments stood open. The
-lounges and chairs seemed to have taken the shapes of their occupants.
-Flowers that looked as if they had been willingly plucked were all about
-in vases. Well-worn volumes and drawing-books were scattered about, and
-some of the princess’s atelier studies were placed against the walls on
-the floor. Martha, who could hardly believe in her good fortune in
-having received even the smallest notice from the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30">{30}</a></span> princess, was yet
-more bewildered and delighted when the latter crossed the little
-boudoir, and led her into the bedroom.</p>
-
-<p>Here the French maid whom Martha had seen at the atelier sat sewing. She
-stood up, evidently surprised. As she courtesied, and came forward to
-take her lady’s wraps, the latter hastily threw her cloak to her, and
-then, striking her hands together with a quick little clap, said:</p>
-
-<p>“Va-t’en, Félicie!”</p>
-
-<p>The maid smiled. She and her mistress evidently understood each other
-well. Deftly gathering up her work, she left the room, and Martha found
-herself alone with her divinity, in the privacy of her own bedroom. She
-felt quite foolishly happy. Perhaps the princess saw it, for she said,
-with her bewildering smile:</p>
-
-<p>“You like it, do you not? You needn’t explain. I see you do, just as I
-saw that you liked me, without your saying a word. I am so glad.”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Like</i> you!” said Martha, protestingly. “Oh!”</p>
-
-<p>Then the princess came and stood in front of the young girl, and put her
-arms around<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31">{31}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_4" id="fig_4"></a>
-<img src="images/i_030.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>IT WILL BE QUITE SAFE, I SEE.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">her neck, clasping her long hands at the back, and looking down at her.</p>
-
-<p>“It will be quite safe, I see,” she said, still smiling, “for me to make
-my confession to you, and own that I was drawn to you in quite an
-extraordinary way. I really did not mean to go so fast, however; and if
-I had stopped to think, I should probably not have proposed to you to
-take this drive with me. But for once I am glad that I did not stop to
-think. My impetuosity is generally my bane in everything. This time I
-feel that it has brought me a blessing. I can prove to you that it is
-not my habit to go out to strangers in this way by the fact that I am so
-friendless. I have no intimate friend in Paris, though I know scores of
-people here. If I like you, and want to see more of you, and you have
-the same feeling toward me, why should we not indulge ourselves? Very
-well! So we will!” and she bent, and kissed Martha on the cheek.</p>
-
-<p>The girl’s heart quivered with joy; but she could find no words in which
-to express it, so she was quite silent. She felt herself very stupid as
-she let the princess take off her wraps and hat, and lead her to a
-seat.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32">{32}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Now,” said the lovely lady, “as I am one of those people who must be
-comfortable before they can be happy, I am going to put on a loose gown.
-No excuses necessary, I know.”</p>
-
-<p>She disappeared for a moment, and came back in an exquisite garment of
-pale-blue silk with borderings of dark fur. She had seemed to Martha
-very splendid and beautiful before, but now she was so winning, so
-sweet, so adorable, that the young girl felt her whole heart glow with
-delight as, with a long-drawn sigh of ease, the princess threw herself
-on the lounge at her side.</p>
-
-<p>“Now,” she said, as her hand closed on Martha’s, “talk to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor Martha! What could she say? Her gratefulness for this unexpected
-confidence and friendliness moved her almost to tears, but she was
-silent.</p>
-
-<p>“Talk to me, Martha,” said the princess, coaxingly. “I may call you
-that, may I not?”</p>
-
-<p>She called it “Mart’a,” with her pretty foreign utterance; and Martha
-thought her homely name had suddenly become adorable. But she could not
-even tell this to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33">{33}</a></span> the princess. How dull and stupid she was! Her
-consent must have shown itself in her eyes, however, for the princess
-went on:</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t call you Martha unless you call me by my name, too. Will you? I
-have a fancy to hear you say it now. Will you call me by my little
-Russian name&mdash;Sonia?”</p>
-
-<p>It was evident that the girl’s silence did not offend her. She must have
-understood its basis, for she said, with an encouraging smile:</p>
-
-<p>“Say it. Say ‘Sonia.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you are too good to me!” exclaimed Martha. “You spoke of knowing
-that I liked you. I don’t <i>like</i> you&mdash;I <i>love</i> you! I don’t <i>love</i>
-you&mdash;I <i>adore</i> you! O <i>Sonia</i>!” and the girl actually slipped from the
-low chair to her knees beside the lounge.</p>
-
-<p>The princess jumped to her feet, and with strong hands lifted Martha to
-hers; then holding both the girl’s hands, and stretching her arms apart
-to their full length, as their two faces were drawn together thus, she
-kissed Martha with affectionate warmth.</p>
-
-<p>“What a dear thing you are!” she said. “How good it is to see some one
-who can really feel! How tired one gets of the <i>fin-de-siècle</i> spirit in
-both women and men!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34">{34}</a></span> Bless you, my Martha! You have come to be a great
-joy in my life. I feel that we are going to be friends for always&mdash;do
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if you will let me! If you will only not be disappointed in me! I
-am afraid to speak, afraid to breathe almost, for fear that you will
-find out that I am only a poor, commonplace little creature, in whom
-your goodness has made you see something which does not exist. Oh, I
-<i>pray</i> I may not disappoint you! And yet how can I dare to hope?”</p>
-
-<p>“Listen, Martha,” said the princess in a matter-of-fact tone, as she
-drew the other down to a seat beside her on the lounge; “let us take
-each other quite simply, and not promise anything. We will just agree to
-be perfectly natural with each other&mdash;just to be ourselves. If you
-continue to like me, and I you, it is all right. If not, we shall have
-broken no pledges and done each other no wrong. Now, with that basis to
-go upon, we can both feel natural and satisfied. Only don’t cover up
-your real self to me, for you may be concealing just what I love, and
-pretending what I hate. It is because you are different from others that
-I have been so<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35">{35}</a></span> drawn to you. Now don’t try to be like other people, and
-ruin everything.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I feel I can be myself with you. I feel I can tell you everything
-that is in my heart, and talk of things that I have never been able to
-speak of to others. How beautiful it is! How strange that such a
-relationship between two women can come about here in Paris in this age
-of the world!”</p>
-
-<p>“It could not if we were Parisians; but both of us being foreign to this
-atmosphere, it can. I love your being an American. I felt sure you were
-even before I asked Etienne.”</p>
-
-<p>“And did he tell you? I have always understood that he never answered
-questions about his students.”</p>
-
-<p>“So have I; but I asked him all the same, and he told me who you were. I
-had quite fancied you before, and after that I fancied you still more,
-as I love the ideal of the American, a creature newer from Nature’s
-hands, and nearer to her heart, than we of the Old World; and,
-fortunately or otherwise, I have known too few of your people either to
-confirm or contradict this idea. So now I think I shall go on liking
-you. And how is it with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36">{36}</a></span> you? Do you think you will not be disappointed
-in me?”</p>
-
-<p>Her beautiful lips widened in a smile of broad amusement that made her
-eyes twinkle. Martha looked at her with a speechless adoration which she
-could not have been so dense as to misunderstand.</p>
-
-<p>“How delightful!” said the princess. “It has been so long since I have
-permitted myself the luxury of a friend that my appetite for one is all
-the keener.”</p>
-
-<p>She had thrown herself back on the lounge, and as Martha sat down by
-her, the princess again took her hand, saying as she did so:</p>
-
-<p>“Now I will tell you two things about myself at the outset of our
-acquaintance: one is that I love to ask questions; the other is that I
-hate to be questioned. Will you remember these facts, and will you be as
-frank with me if I do what you don’t like? I am very nearly certain that
-we shall get on together admirably, for the reason that I know you have
-no vulgar curiosity about me or my affairs. You have sense enough to be
-convinced by one look at my aunt, if there were nothing else, that I am
-respectable. Now I am pretty confident that you have an impulse to talk<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37">{37}</a></span>
-out freely to me, and to answer any questions that I may choose to
-put&mdash;all the more so because your general habit is one of strict
-reserve.”</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_5" id="fig_5"></a>
-<img src="images/i_037.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>AH, I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE, I SEE.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p>The princess kept her eye on her companion’s face while she was talking,
-and she could tell by its expression that she had interpreted her
-correctly. She said so, with a little laugh of contentment, and then
-added:</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me about yourself first of all.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha’s countenance fell.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38">{38}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Ah, I have made a mistake, I see,” said the princess. “We have not come
-to that yet; but we will come to it&mdash;you and I. Some of these days you
-will find yourself telling me all those close-locked secrets of your
-heart; and yet even they, I fancy, will relate more to others than to
-yourself. So be it! I can wait. Tell me now about your people&mdash;your
-family here in Paris.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” began Martha, “there are mama and we four girls&mdash;Alice, Marian,
-Florence, and I. Alice is very handsome, and poor mama has had to shift
-over to her and to the younger girls, who also bid fair to be charming,
-all the hopes which she once centered in me. I have been struggled with
-for years, and finally let alone. Mama agrees to my working at my
-painting because she has made up her mind that unless I amount to
-something in that I shall never amount to anything at all; but I don’t
-think she has much hope of me. She is not far from beautiful herself,
-and is accustomed to being admired, and it took her a long time to
-accept my indifference to it. However, it’s quite accepted now; and I
-even think that, with three other girls to be taken into society, she
-finds a certain relief in leaving<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39">{39}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_6" id="fig_6"></a>
-<img src="images/i_038.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>ALICE HAS A FINE VOICE.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">me out of it. The other girls are studying music and languages. Alice
-has a fine voice.”</p>
-
-<p>“And your father is dead, is he not? Did you not say you had a brother?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha’s face grew quite white with the concentration of mind which this
-thought produced.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I have a brother,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Forgive me,” said the princess, with swift sympathy. “There is
-evidently some reason why it pains you to speak of your brother. Forget
-that I asked you.”</p>
-
-<p>The blood rushed to Martha’s face as it occurred to her that her
-companion might misunderstand her reluctance to speak on this subject.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s not that I am not proud of him that it is hard for me to speak,”
-she said; “it’s expressly because I am. I made up my mind long ago not
-to talk about Harold. I found I must not, because I could not speak of
-him with any freedom without saying things that people would think no
-merely mortal man deserved. I have worshiped him all my life, and, as
-I’m rather ashamed to own, I’ve had a great many other idols which
-turned out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40">{40}</a></span> to be made of clay. This one, however, has never proved for
-an instant unworthy of my adoration.”</p>
-
-<p>The princess smiled.</p>
-
-<p>“One would like to get a look at him,” she said. “An absolutely
-faultless being must be interesting to look at.”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t laugh at me!” cried Martha. “If it were any one but you I could
-not bear it; but I know you would say or do nothing that could hurt me
-really. I don’t wish you to understand that I think Harold faultless. He
-is not. But to one who understands him as I do, his very faults are part
-of his greatness. They all have their seat in something noble, and to
-see how he fights to conquer them is a thing that thrills me. He is now
-off in America hard at work. He has done some quite extraordinary things
-in electricity, and is absorbed in his career. When I am a little older,
-and mama gives me up as a hopeless job for society, I am to go and live
-with Harold, and keep house for him. That is my dream and his.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sooner or later, dear child, you will have to wake from that dream. I
-do not find it as unlikely as you seem to that you will marry;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41">{41}</a></span> and even
-if you should not, your brother probably will.”</p>
-
-<p>The princess was smiling, but her smile faded at the look of tragic pain
-in her companion’s face. She could see that the young girl had been
-touched in her heart’s tenderest place.</p>
-
-<p>“No,” she said, with that frown of sadness unrelaxed, “he will never
-marry.”</p>
-
-<p>“Forgive me again, dear Martha,” said the princess. “Your brother has
-had some disappointment, about which your heart is as sensitive as his
-own. I see that, and you need tell me no more. It is good that he has
-you to comprehend and sympathize with him. It is good that you have each
-other. If you gave your heart and life to a husband as wholly as you
-have given them to your brother, he would probably break the heart and
-wreck the life, and even the right to dream would be taken from you.
-Living with this brother, whom you love and worship so, whether he
-deserves it or not, you may have many a sweet and joy-giving dream which
-no reality would equal. I wish I could make you see how fortunate you
-are.”</p>
-
-<p>“I care very little for my own happiness,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42">{42}</a></span>” said Martha, too absorbed to
-realize that she was saying anything that called for comment. “All that
-I care for is to give Harold a little comfort and calm. He can never be
-happy again.”</p>
-
-<p>“He tells you so, dear child, and no doubt he believes it. <i>I</i> tell you
-it will pass. Men do not grieve perpetually for women. I know them
-better than you do.”</p>
-
-<p>“You do not know this man. If you imagine that he is like any other man
-in the world, you are wrong. He could not get over this sorrow and be
-the man that he is. It is simply a thing impossible to him. Not that he
-shows it! It has been two years since it happened, and no doubt every
-one except myself thinks he has recovered. I dare say he wants to have
-it so, and he’s generally cheerful and bright. Even to me he never says
-a word, but I think he knows that I understand. At all events, he knows
-that, though it is the desire of my life to go and live with him, I
-would never do him the wrong to suppose that I could make him happy.”</p>
-
-<p>“He has, then, it would seem, the same ardent temperament as yours. Dear
-me! how odd it would be to see a man like that in this</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_7" id="fig_7"></a>
-<img src="images/i_042.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">IN THE AMERICAN COLONY.</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43">{43}</a></span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">generation! Was this woman very cruel to him that you resent it so?”</p>
-
-<p>“Resent it!” said Martha, dropping her companion’s hand, to clasp her
-own hands together. “Even to you I can’t talk about that. I should
-either cry like a fool or rage like a fury. I know very little about
-what happened, except that she has utterly ruined Harold’s life, and cut
-him off from everything that makes life sweet.”</p>
-
-<p>“You allow yourself to suffer too much for him, perhaps,” the princess
-said. “I am not going to antagonize you at the outset by saying all that
-I might say to you on this subject, but believe me, my little <i>ingénue</i>,
-I could give you points about men. I will not do it now, however, and I
-will even show my willingness to spare you by changing the subject. Tell
-me about Alice. Is she really so handsome? Does she go into society?
-Where could one see her?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; she goes out a good deal&mdash;in the American colony, principally. I
-don’t think there is any doubt that she’s handsome.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then I’m all the more unfortunate in having no acquaintance in the
-American colony. Does she look like you?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44">{44}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“No; the fact is&mdash;” Martha blushed, and was in evident confusion, as she
-went on&mdash;“the fact is, I’m considered like Harold. Not really, you know,
-because no one can deny that he’s magnificent; but there’s said to be a
-sort of family likeness.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, I can believe that, my dear, without absolute insult to your
-brother. Is Alice much admired?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, a good deal; but she’s engaged now, and so she is not noticed as
-much as she was.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, she’s engaged, is she? And when is she to be married?”</p>
-
-<p>“The day is not fixed, but it will be before long. The trousseau is
-being bought now. Her fiancé is an Italian officer of very good family,
-though not much fortune. Still, Alice is happy, and mama is satisfied,
-and Harold has given his consent. He is coming over to the wedding. Oh,
-if you could see him&mdash;and he could see you!”</p>
-
-<p>“His seeing me is wholly unnecessary; but the other part might be
-accomplished. It would be a good idea to give me a card to the wedding
-if it takes place in a church. Then I could see all your people without
-their seeing me, and probably disapproving of our intimacy<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45">{45}</a></span> and breaking
-it up&mdash;or else putting it on a footing that would have no comfort in
-it.”</p>
-
-<p>“How <i>could</i> they disapprove?” said Martha, deeply hurt. “How could they
-be anything but honored that I should be noticed at all by a great
-princess like you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, there’s no greatness about this princess, child,” said the other,
-laughing. “Don’t expect to see me going around with a throne to sit on,
-in either a literal or a figurative sense. To you I am only Sonia&mdash;a
-fact which you seem to have forgotten, by the way! I wish you’d call me
-Sonia, and stop thinking about the princess. With your American ideas
-it, no doubt, seems much more important than it is. Are you going to
-tell your people about me really or not?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Martha; “I wouldn’t for the world. It may be selfish, but I
-want you all to myself.”</p>
-
-<p>This was perfectly true; but at the same time, ignore it as she might,
-there was a lurking feeling in Martha’s heart that the princess was
-right in imagining that if her mother knew of the friendship that had
-sprung up between the two students at Etienne’s, she <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46">{46}</a></span>might insist upon
-investigating the princess&mdash;an indignity which Martha felt that she
-could not endure.</p>
-
-<p>The princess herself seemed pleased at Martha’s evident wish to
-monopolize her; and the two parted at last with the confidence and
-affection of old friends.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47">{47}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> days at the atelier had now a new interest for both students, and
-their work was manifestly the better for it. To Martha these days were
-filled with a glorious delight, which seemed to give her all that her
-nature craved; and if it had not been for sad thoughts of her brother
-and his loneliness, she would have felt that she could ask for nothing.</p>
-
-<p>To have the princess painting near her, and to be able to look up and
-see her beautiful figure, with its sinuous grace, posed before her
-easel, and to receive from her now and then a brilliant smile of mutual
-comprehension, was quite enough of personal bliss for Martha Keene.</p>
-
-<p>Martha had an ardent and romantic temperament, but she seemed to be
-capable of satisfying its needs vicariously. There undoubtedly are such
-women, though the like has possibly never existed in the other sex.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48">{48}</a></span> For
-instance, it was a continual battle with her now to put down the
-temptation, which constantly assailed her, of imagining a meeting, an
-attraction, and finally a union between the brother who realized her
-romantic ideal of man and the friend who realized his complement in
-woman’s form. She knew it was impossible. She knew that Harold would
-never marry; and she even realized that if he could love again, after
-the manner in which he had loved one woman, he would, by that fact,
-compel her to lower her standard either of love or of him.</p>
-
-<p>And yet Martha felt that the meeting and blending of these two lives
-would, if she could have seen it, have satisfied every need of her
-heart. She believed that her pleasure and contentment in looking on at
-such a union as this would give her the greatest joy that could be for
-her&mdash;would indeed, in a way, give her the feeling of satisfied love.</p>
-
-<p>It was very hard to put down these imaginings; but she told herself that
-it must be done. Harold’s life and love had been given once, and she
-knew he was right in saying that they were not his to give again; and on
-the princess’s part, no doubt the idea would<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49">{49}</a></span> be a wild suggestion,
-indeed. Martha did not know what rigid laws of etiquette and convention
-might not bind the princess; and condescending as the latter had chosen
-to be with regard to herself, she felt that this beautiful lady would
-never do anything unworthy of her caste. Her husband, whether she had
-loved him or not, had no doubt been a great prince, whose name and title
-the woman on whom he had bestowed them would never consent to debase.
-The thing was hopeless and wrong, of course, and the idea must be put
-away from her. But it was hard to do, with her hero constantly in her
-mind, and her heroine constantly before her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>One day, after an unusually hard morning’s work, the princess invited
-Martha to go home to lunch with her, and to spend the afternoon at the
-Louvre, looking together at the pictures which they had so often enjoyed
-apart.</p>
-
-<p>When they reached the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, the princess was
-informed that her aunt had already finished her second breakfast, which
-she took with the regularity of clockwork, not depending upon the
-comings and goings of the rather erratic<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50">{50}</a></span> person who was the other
-member of the family. This the princess explained lightly, as she led
-the way to the dining-room. The servants by this time all knew Martha;
-and they looked upon her, as the friend of their mistress, with the most
-amiable glances. Not speaking the Russian language, Martha could show
-her good will only by a pleasant smile, in return for the evident
-pleasure which they showed in serving her.</p>
-
-<p>The princess threw her wrap backward over the chair, as she sat at the
-head of the round table, with her slender figure against a background of
-dark sable, and her head, in its large plumed hat, standing out from a
-halo of many-hued old stained-glass in the window behind. Martha,
-sitting opposite, fell into an unconsciously intent scrutiny of her
-face.</p>
-
-<p>It was certainly safe, Martha thought, to call this face beautiful, both
-for feature and character. The eyes were large, dark, brilliant, and
-fervidly suggestive. One wondered what those eyes had seen, were seeing,
-and were capable of discovering for others. The hair was a brilliant,
-waving brown, arranged in a loose mass that was still firm and lovely in
-its outline&mdash;hair, as Martha thought, that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51">{51}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_8" id="fig_8"></a>
-<img src="images/i_050.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“HER HEAD, IN ITS LARGE PLUMED HAT.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">it must be sweet to touch with fingers and with lips. Also the girl
-thought one might well long to prove by touch whether that white skin
-was as smooth and fine as it looked. The firm, short nose was definitely
-pointed, and tilted upward, slightly lifting with it the short upper
-lip. Her chin was bewitching&mdash;at once strong and alluring. The mouth was
-very individual, and, as Martha studied it, she concluded that if she
-could tell why it was so charming, half the charm would be gone. For the
-first time it occurred to her to wonder how old the princess was.</p>
-
-<p>“You are wondering how old I am!” said the princess, almost taking the
-girl’s breath away.</p>
-
-<p>“I never knew anything so strange!” exclaimed Martha. “It was the very
-thought I had in my mind.”</p>
-
-<p>“Certainly, I read it there! I can do that, sometimes, with people who
-are very sympathetic to me. I fancy it would be rather dangerous for
-<i>you</i> to do any very private thinking in my presence. I sometimes read,
-too, without reading aloud. I think I have read some of your thoughts
-lately, without your suspecting it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52">{52}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at Martha, over her cup of bouillon, and smiled. Martha felt
-herself blushing, as she wondered if that persistent and dominating
-thought about her brother, which had been so often in her mind of late,
-could have been perceived by this wonderful being. It frightened her so
-that she quickly changed the subject, and the remainder of the meal
-passed in less personal talk.</p>
-
-<p>When they were seated in the princess’s coupé, a little later, driving
-past the Arc de Triomphe, Martha saw her companion turning her head to
-look at it with lingering, earnest eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I always look at the Arc whenever I can,” she said; “and it always has
-something to say to me. Its expression of strong beauty and repose
-always makes me feel that what is, is right. If I am happy, it makes me
-feel that joy is both good and permanent; and even when in times of
-unhappiness it makes me feel that sadness is permanent, it somehow seems
-to tell me that that too is good. Did you ever stand quite close to it
-and look up?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Martha.</p>
-
-<p>“We must, some day, together. It will give you a new sensation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53">{53}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“I always thought that it appeared better at a distance,” said Martha.</p>
-
-<p>“So it does, in a way; but the impression is different. I love it from
-the Place de la Concorde, when the horse-chestnuts are in bloom. Then it
-looks like a magnificent image of beneficence, stretching out two great
-arms to take in all those people, in carriages and on foot, who are
-thronging the Champs-Élysées, its body vague and distant in the clouds.
-That’s a sufficiently fantastic thought for you, if you like; but it is
-one that has comforted me. I love Paris. It is the only city that has
-ever seemed to me to be lovable. Its streets are so gay and clean, and
-the faces of the people one meets, along here at least, are so
-good-humored and intelligent. I love this mixture of fashion and
-ruralness. Look at the swells and the peasants driving side by side!
-Look at those white-aproned men drawing handcarts, that mail-coach
-coming alongside, those old peasants in their covered wagons, and that
-superb mounted policeman with his gorgeous trappings! How friendly and
-at home they all seem! Even that omnibus, with its three white
-Percherons abreast, looks sociable and friendly by the side of the
-<i>steppeurs</i> of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54">{54}</a></span> <i>haute école</i>. Oh, it’s all very human and charming;
-or is it that you humanize me, and make me feel its charm more than I
-have done for many a day?”</p>
-
-<p>She was still in this delightful humor when they reached the Louvre, and
-made their way at once to pay their homage to the Venus of Milo. They
-did not say much as they looked at her, moving slowly from place to
-place to get the different points of view. Each knew what the other
-felt, and words seemed out of place. Presently the princess said:</p>
-
-<p>“I have a fancy to try an experiment. Let’s name her! What I mean is, if
-that were a real woman, what would you think the name best suited to
-her?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha smiled comprehendingly, and looked at the statue with a gaze of
-deep concentration. This changed, after a moment, into a smile, as she
-said:</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve named her. It’s so absurd, however,” she went on, “to give such a
-name as I’ve chosen to that ancient Greek statue, that I’m almost
-ashamed to tell it.”</p>
-
-<p>“You needn’t be,” said the princess, smiling too; “for I’ve got a name
-about which I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55">{55}</a></span> have exactly the same feeling. Come; I’ll say mine first.
-It’s Gloriana.”</p>
-
-<p>“And mine is Georgiana! How odd that they should be so much alike!”</p>
-
-<p>“Isn’t it? It’s delightful, though; for it shows that there’s something
-in my theory of names, and that this statue has made almost exactly the
-same impression on us. I’m eager now to name the Winged Victory. Come;
-let’s go and look at her.”</p>
-
-<p>They hurried away to the foot of the wide staircase, where, looking up,
-they saw the magnificent creature with her great wings spread.</p>
-
-<p>After standing before her in silence a few moments, the princess
-exclaimed suddenly:</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, have you named her yet? A <i>perfect</i> name for her has come to me!”</p>
-
-<p>“And to me, too&mdash;<i>perfect</i>!” said Martha. “How many syllables has
-yours?”</p>
-
-<p>“One.”</p>
-
-<p>“So has mine!” said the other, breathlessly. “Now let’s count three, and
-say the name.”</p>
-
-<p>Simultaneously they said: “One, two, three&mdash;<i>Ruth</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>Then they looked at each other with an excited delight that the
-passers-by must have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56">{56}</a></span> thought rather amazing even for two artists
-looking at the Victory.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s the most wonderful thing I ever heard of,” said Martha. “Don’t you
-feel positively creepy?”</p>
-
-<p>“I should think I did! Little cold chills are running all over me. Oh,
-how nice it is that we can think and feel together in this way!”</p>
-
-<p>Her face, as she spoke, was glowingly beautiful; and Martha returned her
-gaze with a look which expressed what no words could possibly have
-done.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57">{57}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">One</span> morning the princess did not come to the atelier; and Martha, after
-working along without her for a while, thinking that her friend might
-have been delayed and hoping that she would come later, found her mind
-so preoccupied by the absence of her usual companion that her work would
-not go at all, and at last she concluded to stop trying, and to go to
-look the princess up.</p>
-
-<p>She called a cab, and drove to the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, where
-she was now well known. Even the old concierge, with her shining white
-hair, brilliant black eyes, red cheeks, and bearded upper lip, gave her
-a smile of welcome as she passed through the court; and the princess’s
-servant gave her another as he conducted her at once to his mistress’s
-boudoir.</p>
-
-<p>Here he left her. Martha tapped on the door, and waited. Getting no
-answer, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58">{58}</a></span> turned the knob and entered, intending to knock at the
-inner door; but no sooner had she shut herself into the room than she
-became aware, although it was almost wholly darkened, that it was not
-unoccupied.</p>
-
-<p>A stifled sound reached her ears, and she could now make out the figure
-of the princess, lying on the lounge, with her face buried in her hands.</p>
-
-<p>The girl’s heart ached with pity, and she did not know whether to yield
-to her own impulse, and to go forward, or to consult the possible
-preference of her friend, and go back.</p>
-
-<p>While she hesitated, the princess took her hands from her face, and saw
-her. As she did so, she started up, touching her eyes with her
-handkerchief, and clearing her voice to speak.</p>
-
-<p>“Is it you, Martha? Come in, child,” she said. “I have a headache
-to-day, and intended to see no one. I forgot, however, that I had given
-orders that you were always to be the exception. I should not have let
-you see me like this if I had known beforehand; but now that you have
-looked upon your poor friend in this humiliated state, sit down, and
-never mind.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59">{59}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_9" id="fig_9"></a>
-<img src="images/i_058.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>IS IT YOU, MARTHA?’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p>Martha had come near, and now took the seat beside the lounge, her face
-tragic with sympathy.</p>
-
-<p>“I am so sorry you are ill,” was all that she could say.</p>
-
-<p>“I am not ill, really,” said the princess. She was lying back upon the
-lounge, and fanning her flushed face with her little gossamer
-handkerchief, which Martha could see was limp with tears. “My head does
-ache now, but I brought it on by this wretched crying. It’s all my own
-fault. You did not know that I was such a weakling, did you?” and she
-made an effort to smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I am so, so sorry!” said Martha, helplessly.</p>
-
-<p>“You needn’t be, dear. Never be sorry for any man or woman who is equal
-to his or her life&mdash;and I am equal to mine. One time out of ten it gets
-the better of me, but the nine times I get the better of it. This mood
-will surely pass. Indeed, it is passing now. You have helped me already.
-It has been very long indeed since I have found or wanted human help,
-and it takes me by surprise.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha saw that she was preparing to lead the talk away from her recent
-tears and their<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60">{60}</a></span> cause, and she passionately wished that her friend
-should feel that she longed to enter into her sorrow with her, if it
-could be allowed her; so she said impulsively:</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t suppose you feel like telling me your trouble; but oh, I wish
-you could!”</p>
-
-<p>“I do feel like it, you darling child! I could talk to you about it
-better than to any one on earth; but there are some things one cannot
-speak of even to one’s own heart. That is the trouble now. If I were to
-let myself indulge freely in imaginings and regrets, I should satisfy
-the want of the moment, but it would undo me utterly. My great
-temptation is regret, and I must be strong enough not to regret.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, how sad life is!” cried Martha. “I have always thought that you at
-least ought to be happy. I gave you the name of ‘The Happy Princess,’
-out of Tennyson. It has seemed to me from the first that you were a
-creature who had it in you to command happiness.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, dear child, if you could only know how helpless I am there! The
-best thing that is in me is the power to command courage. That I can,
-and for the most part do. While that is so, I shall not complain.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61">{61}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_10" id="fig_10"></a>
-<img src="images/i_060.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>OH, I AM SO, SO SORRY.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p>“Then you are really unhappy? Oh!” said Martha, drawing herself up with
-an impulsive movement.</p>
-
-<p>“I know what that fervent exclamation means as well as if you had put it
-into words,” said the princess. “You are wishing that there were some
-way in which, by sacrificing yourself, you could purchase happiness for
-me.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha, startled at the correctness of this guess, could say nothing in
-denial.</p>
-
-<p>“I knew it,” said the princess, reading her face. “I have not the
-faintest doubt that you would do it; and&mdash;now I am going to knock over
-some of your idealizing of me&mdash;there have been moments in my life when
-my greed for happiness has consumed me so that I believe I would have
-been willing to take it, and to let another pay the price. That’s a base
-thing for a woman to say of herself, but so true it is that I thank God
-I was never tempted when those moods were on me. Something not wholly
-different from that panting after an impossible joy was upon me this
-morning. Shall I never get the better of it utterly? <i>Can</i> one overcome
-it? Did <i>you</i> never have it, Martha? To me joy is im<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62">{62}</a></span>possible, but it is
-not so to you. Don’t you ever long for it? I will speak to you quite
-openly, Martha, and tell you this&mdash;when I say joy, I mean love. <i>Is</i>
-there a woman’s heart that does not long for that? Be as honest with me
-as I have been with you, and tell me.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will try,” said Martha. “I will do my best to be perfectly truthful.
-I <i>do</i> long for happiness; but&mdash;this may seem strange to you, and you
-may even think that I am pretending to be better or more unselfish than
-others&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That I <i>never</i> will! I <i>know</i> that isn’t so. Go on.”</p>
-
-<p>“I was going to say that the craving of my heart seems somehow to be
-impersonal. I want happiness intensely, but the way in which I want it
-is to see the beings whom I love best have it. Now there are two
-creatures in the world whom I love supremely&mdash;my brother and you. You
-know that this is so. If I could see both of you happy, in the manner
-and degree that I want, I believe that I could then be perfectly happy,
-too. I believe all the needs of my own heart could be answered in that
-way; and indeed I almost<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63">{63}</a></span> think that my greed for joy is as great as
-yours at times. It has strained my heart almost to bursting, in Harold’s
-case, and I feel now almost the same about you. I have never spoken of
-this to any one; indeed, I was never fully aware of it, I think, until I
-put it into words now. It must seem quite incredible to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not in the least. I believe it utterly, or rather it’s a stronger thing
-than belief with me. I feel that it is true. I admire you for it, and
-all the more because it is so different from me. I want happiness and
-love for myself&mdash;every ounce of flesh, every drop of blood in me longs
-for it as well as every aspiration of my soul. It is <i>self</i> that I am
-thinking of when I get like this&mdash;my own power to enjoy, and also&mdash;oh,
-God <i>knows</i> that this is true!&mdash;and also the power to give joy to
-another. Martha, I will tell you something,” she said, with a sudden
-change of tone, dropping her voice, and leaning forward to take both of
-Martha’s hands in hers as she spoke, with her eyes fixed intently on the
-girl’s. “I have known this joy. I have loved supremely, and been loved.
-You have never tasted that cup of rapture as I have;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64">{64}</a></span> but then you have
-never known, as I have, the anguish of that renunciation. Which of us is
-the fortunate one? If you knew how I suffer you would probably say that
-it is you; but if, on the other hand, you knew what ecstasy I have had,
-I think that you might decide differently. Oh, if God would give me one
-more hour of it, I think I would be content! One more hour, to take it
-to the full, knowing that I must, after that, come back to what I suffer
-now! I think those sixty joy-absorbing minutes would make up to me for
-everything. But to have it <i>never again</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>She broke off, and, hiding her face in her hands, turned away, and lay
-for some moments quite silent and still. She was not crying&mdash;Martha
-could see that; and when she presently turned, and looked at the young
-girl, holding out both her hands to her, although there was no smile on
-her face, it showed that she had conquered her dark mood, and was strong
-again.</p>
-
-<p>It was a very gentle sort of strength, however, that was not too
-self-sufficient to feel pleasure in the words and looks and touches of
-quiet sympathy which Martha gave her now. They sat there, hand in hand,
-for a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65">{65}</a></span> long time; and presently the princess said, with her own
-beautiful smile:</p>
-
-<p>“You have done me a world of good, Martha. My headache is gone, and also
-its cause. Sometimes, do you know,&mdash;I’m going to let you see just how
-weak I am,&mdash;sometimes I succumb for days to a mood like this. Nobody
-knows that tears have anything to do with the headaches that I suffer
-from&mdash;at least nobody but Félicie, and she gives no information. My aunt
-loves me dearly, but is no more acquainted with the real <i>me</i> than if I
-were a stranger; and yet she adores me&mdash;perhaps for that reason. I tell
-her nothing, because the feelings that I have are quite outside her
-comprehension, while the headaches are quite within it. She recommends
-various powders and pellets, and is constantly getting new prescriptions
-for me. She says my headaches are of a very obstinate type, and I agree
-with her. To show you how completely you’ve cured me,” she added, rising
-to her feet, with an entire change of tone, “I am going to work this
-afternoon. You will stay and take your lunch with me, and then we’ll be
-there in time for the second model’s pose.”</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t stay,” said Martha, rising too;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66">{66}</a></span> “but I will meet you there
-promptly. I am keeping my cab below, so that I may be back at the
-atelier by the time the carriage comes for me. You know how very quiet I
-am keeping my little escapades with you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, to be sure!” exclaimed the other, smiling. “I had forgotten the
-necessity of that precaution. What <i>would</i> ‘mama and the girls’ say? I
-think I shall write them an anonymous letter, saying that if madame had
-been under the impression that her eldest daughter devoted herself
-wholly to the pursuit of art during the hours of her absence from home,
-it might have surprised her had she seen the aforesaid young lady this
-morning come out of the atelier, call a cab, give a number, go to a
-distant apartment (where she was evidently well known to the concierge,
-who passed her on to a servant in Russian livery, who as evidently knew
-her well), enter, by a special passage, a certain room, where she
-remained shut in for a long time, emerging finally in great haste to
-drive rapidly in the cab, which she had kept waiting, back to the
-atelier in time to meet her own carriage, and come innocently home to
-join the family circle at lunch! Couldn’t I make out a case?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67">{67}</a></span> And what
-<i>would</i> the mother and the little sisters say?”</p>
-
-<p>Martha, too, laughed at the picture; but in spite of some discomfiture
-of feeling to which it gave rise, she had no idea of changing her
-tactics. The very thought of her mother’s going to work to investigate
-the princess, and ascertain if she were a proper friend for her
-daughter, smote the girl to the heart, and she resolved to guard her
-secret more carefully than ever. She determined that she would ease her
-conscience for the deception by confessing everything to her brother
-when he came. This would make it all right.</p>
-
-<p>As Martha drove back to the atelier, after an affectionate <i>au revoir</i>
-to the princess, she was conscious that something was rankling in her
-mind. When she came to search for the ground of this feeling, she found
-it to exist in the confession of love which the princess had made. This
-knowledge caused Martha to realize that she had not even yet succeeded
-in putting from her the imaginings by which she had connected her
-brother and her friend. Before knowing the princess she had always
-cherished the belief that her brother would sink below her ideal of him
-if he ever loved<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68">{68}</a></span> a second time. Lately, however, she had imagined the
-possibility of his telling her, after knowing the princess, that the old
-love was not the perfect one he had imagined it; and she could fancy
-herself forgiving him for loving a second time, with the princess as his
-apology. It had even seemed to her lately so monstrously wrong and cruel
-that Harold’s life should be wantonly wrecked that she was now prepared
-to accept a good deal more than would once have seemed possible, in
-order to see it mended.</p>
-
-<p>Martha, for all her demure appearance, had something that was more or
-less savage and lawless in her nature, especially where Harold was
-concerned; and the same feeling, in a lesser degree, dominated her in
-regard to the princess. She had long ago admitted to herself the fact
-that Harold had missed his chance of happiness in love; but it was as
-painful as it was unexpected to her to find that the princess too had
-loved before. She had known that she had been married, but with very
-little difficulty she had constructed for herself a theory of that
-marriage in which the princess had played the part of an innocent victim
-to circumstance. For instance, she might have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69">{69}</a></span> been married by her
-parents in early youth to a man perhaps far older than herself, whom she
-had never loved, and for whose death she could not have grieved much.</p>
-
-<p>It was a surprise to Martha now to find how entirely she had let this
-utterly unfounded idea take possession of her. The words of the princess
-this morning had shattered it to atoms, and in spite of herself she felt
-strangely heavy-hearted.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70">{70}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">After</span> the morning on which Martha had been by accident a witness of the
-princess’s self-betrayal, there seemed nothing lacking to the complete
-understanding of the two friends, and their intimacy was now stronger
-and closer than ever. It was not practicable for Martha to visit the
-princess very often, as she was compelled to take the time for these
-visits out of her atelier hours, and both women were too earnest in
-their work not to begrudge this. Lately they had fallen into the custom
-of the generality of the students, and went for their midday meal to the
-<i>crèmerie</i> in the neighborhood, after they had visited first the
-butcher’s shop, and selected their own mutton-chop or bit of beefsteak;
-then they had it cooked according to their directions. This, with fresh
-rolls and baked apples and milk, made an excellent meal, sometimes
-augmented by potato salad.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71">{71}</a></span> Martha had been initiated into these
-mysteries by an American girl whose acquaintance she had made through
-the latter’s having once offered to help her on with her “josie,” a word
-which had established an easy footing between them at once.</p>
-
-<p>Martha never exchanged more than a passing remark with the other
-students, partly because she had, in the beginning, built a sort of
-barrier around her by her shyness, and, recently, because she felt that
-her intimacy with the princess, who knew none of the others, set her
-more than ever apart.</p>
-
-<p>One morning Martha came to the atelier rather late, and showed,
-moreover, a certain excitement in her movements and expression which she
-accounted for at lunch-time by telling the princess that her sister’s
-wedding had been hurried up, and was to take place almost immediately.</p>
-
-<p>There were several good reasons for this; one being that it suited much
-better the plans of the bridegroom elect, and another that Mrs. Keene,
-being in rather delicate health, had been urged by her physicians to
-leave Paris. So, as soon as the wedding was over, she was to go south
-with the younger girls and their<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72">{72}</a></span> governess; and Martha, who rebelled
-against being taken from her beloved painting, had a beautiful plan of
-getting her brother to stay awhile in Paris with her in their mother’s
-apartment. This she confided to the princess with breathless delight,
-saying that she had written to Harold about it, and told him to cable
-her if he were willing. Her friend could see that, with her usual
-license of imagination, Martha had been making all sorts of plans in
-connection with this scheme, and she more than suspected that some of
-these concerned herself.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Martha,” she said, with a penetrating look into her friend’s
-eager eyes, “give it up at once, on the spot, if you have been making
-any plans to introduce your brother to me!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, <i>why</i>?” said Martha, in tones of the keenest regret.</p>
-
-<p>“Because, my dear, it is out of the question. If you knew how sick to
-death I am of men, you would not ask it. Please, if you love me, don’t
-speak of it again.”</p>
-
-<p>This, of course, was final, and Martha was compelled to bear her
-disappointment with what patience she could summon. She got a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73">{73}</a></span> promise
-from the princess, however, that she would come to the wedding, which
-was to take place in the American church. At least this would give her
-the satisfaction of feeling in the future that her friend had seen her
-brother, and she hoped she might contrive in some way that the latter
-should see the princess, since it was now decreed that the intercourse
-could go no further.</p>
-
-<p>Great as Martha’s disappointment was, she forced herself to recognize
-the fact that, as things were, it might be all for the best that these
-two should not meet. She could imagine but one result of that meeting,
-and that, under existing circumstances, might be disastrous to both.
-Neither of them had fully confided in her, but both of them had told her
-plainly that a second love was the thing which they most strongly
-repudiated. In Harold’s case, she knew that this feeling was one that
-his conscience, no less than his heart, ordained; and in the case of the
-princess, she somehow felt that it was the same.</p>
-
-<p>The princess, for some reason, did not tell Martha what a notable
-exception to her rule she made in going to this wedding. The fact was,
-she had never been to any wedding since<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74">{74}</a></span> her own; and it may have been
-that fact which accounted for the state of intense excitement which she
-was in as she drove alone in her carriage through the streets of Paris
-to the church in the Avenue de l’Alma.</p>
-
-<p>As she got out, and instructed her coachman where to wait, this inward
-excitement showed in every rapid movement and word. Afterward, when she
-entered the church, and walked, with a definiteness of manner which
-would seem to have indicated a prearranged plan, straight down the
-left-hand aisle to the choir-stalls, her face was flushed and her eyes
-were brilliant. It was early, and few people had come as yet.</p>
-
-<p>The princess wore a long, dark cloak, which concealed her figure, and on
-her large hat, which hid the outline of her head, a rather thick Russian
-veil was fastened, so that her features were scarcely distinguishable.</p>
-
-<p>There was a shaded corner near the organ, behind the chorister-stalls,
-that was quite screened from the congregation, and so situated as to be
-almost out of view from the chancel also, if one chose to protect one’s
-self behind the great pillar that stood there. The day was dark and
-cloudy, but the chancel was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75">{75}</a></span> brilliant with lighted candles. The
-princess with firm confidence walked to this place, and took her seat.
-She did not seem to care whether the church was filling up or not. She
-scarcely noticed when some people came and took the seats near her. In
-these moments she was so lost in thoughts and reminiscences that the
-furious beating of her heart almost suffocated her.</p>
-
-<p>When, from just behind her, a great organ-note swelled forth, and filled
-the church with tremulous vibrations, the princess gave a little
-fluttered start. No one was near enough to observe this, however, or to
-see the crouching back into her seat which followed it. The music seemed
-to heighten her emotion, and she trembled visibly. She quite lost count
-of time, and did not know how long it was before she saw a clergyman
-enter the chancel and stand there, waiting. Then, as two officers in
-rich uniforms came and took their places in front of him, the sonorous
-chords of the old familiar Mendelssohn march swelled from the organ, and
-the heart within her seemed to stop and sink. It was the sound and
-influence to which, in perfect joy, she had walked to her own wedding.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76">{76}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She knew that the bridal procession was coming up the aisle, but she did
-not turn her head to get a view into the church. She felt the people
-about her rise to their feet, but she sat still. Her trembling limbs
-would not have held her up; but she did not even know that she was
-trembling. She knew only that she was waiting&mdash;that all her heart and
-all her soul were wrapped in a bewildering suspense until the coming of
-what was very near her now. They passed close to her, the girls in their
-white dresses, and the officers in their glittering uniforms, and stood
-in divided ranks, leaving the space between them clear.</p>
-
-<p>Into this space, directly in front of the clergyman, there now advanced
-a woman covered with a cloud of gauzy tulle. She leaned upon the arm of
-the only man in the party who was not in uniform.</p>
-
-<p>It was on this figure that the princess fastened her eyes, never once
-removing them until the short ceremony had come to an end. The bride was
-a shapeless blur. The bridesmaids were a billowy cloud. The officers
-were mere dazzles of color and gold lace. One object there was that cut
-its way into her consciousness with acute distinctness&mdash;the dark-clad,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77">{77}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_11" id="fig_11"></a>
-<img src="images/i_076.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“THE MAN WHO STOOD WAITING TO GIVE THE BRIDE.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">clearly outlined figure and pale profile of the man who stood waiting to
-give the bride.</p>
-
-<p>When the music ceased, and the minister told the congregation that they
-were assembled to join together this man and this woman in holy
-matrimony, it was another man and woman that she thought of; and so
-through all the solemn charge and searching questioning that followed.</p>
-
-<p>When the minister asked, “Who giveth this woman to be married?” and the
-man that she had been watching gave up his companion with a slight
-inclination of the head, and moved aside, the gaze of the princess still
-followed and rested on him. When, a moment later, a strange foreign
-voice said painstakingly, “I, Victor, take thee, Alice, to my wedded
-wife,” what she heard, in natural and familiar English utterance was
-this: “I, Harold, take thee, Sophia, to my wedded wife, to have and to
-hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for
-poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us
-do part, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I plight thee my
-troth.” And it was her own voice which made answer: “I, Sophia, take
-thee, Harold.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78">{78}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>A hard clutch was on her heart. He was there&mdash;the Harold who had made
-that vow to her; and she, Sophia, was here, in life, not death! “Till
-death us do part,” they had both of them sworn, and they had let life
-part them! The terrible wrong of it all rushed over her. The reasons
-which had made that parting seem to her right before now vanished into
-air. She felt that crime alone could ever link one of them to another.
-She felt that this separation between them was in itself a crime, and
-she who had done it the chief of criminals.</p>
-
-<p>All this she felt with terrifying force, but a feeling stronger than
-even any of these had taken possession of her&mdash;a want and longing had
-awakened in her heart which strained it almost intolerably. She looked
-at the bride’s brother, standing there intensely still, in an attitude
-of complete repose, and a feeling that he was hers, and hers alone took
-possession of her. She grew reckless of appearances, and stood up in her
-place, with her face turned full toward him. She heard the clergyman’s
-stern behest that man put not asunder those whom God hath joined, and
-she heard him pronounce that they were man and wife, in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79">{79}</a></span> the name of the
-Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Her heart said a solemn
-amen.</p>
-
-<p>Imagination lingered on these thrilling thoughts while the blessing was
-pronounced and the service ended; and then the little procession, the
-bride and bridegroom at its head, and the figure that she watched at his
-mother’s side behind them, passed her and went down the aisle, while the
-familiar music was playing, to which she had walked from the altar a
-blissfully happy wife&mdash;and she was left alone!</p>
-
-<p>The organist quickly closed the organ, and hurried away. The people near
-her moved off too; and still she sat there motionless, feeling herself
-deserted and most miserable. A boy, putting out the candles, roused her
-to consciousness, and somehow she got out of the place.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80">{80}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Keene’s</span> apartment on the Place de la Madeleine was a scene of
-joyful commotion and confusion. The small breakfast which followed the
-wedding was an informal affair; and though it was supposed that only the
-nearest personal friends were present, the rooms were cheerfully
-crowded, and the uniforms made a show and glitter. The charming girls
-who were permitted to be their sister’s bridesmaids were the object of
-much notice and attention; and when the company had risen from the
-table, the eldest sister, who was so much the least pretty and
-vivacious, was scarcely missed from the room. A few people inquired for
-the bride’s brother, who had also disappeared; but as he was a stranger
-to every one, the fact of his absence was little noticed.</p>
-
-<p>Martha, when she went to look for Harold, found him in his own room,
-smoking.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81">{81}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I knew it was you,” he said, as she came in, closing the door behind
-her. “I thought you would come to look me up; but why did you? I’m poor
-company for anybody to-day. Well,” he added, with a short, deep breath,
-“thank the Lord, that’s over! When you get married, Martha, I want you
-to elope. I’ve no business at a wedding. I feel that I have cast an evil
-eye on Alice and Victor.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harold, I was thinking of you more than of them all the time,” said
-Martha, earnestly. “It did seem absolute cruelty to have required it of
-you. How <i>could</i> mama!”</p>
-
-<p>Concentrated as her tone and manner were, she was doubtful whether they
-even penetrated the consciousness of her companion, who, with his chair
-tipped backward, his frock-coat thrown open, with a ruthless disregard
-of the smart gardenia which ornamented its lapel, and his hands thrust
-deep into his trousers pockets, was smoking vigorously, and looking away
-from her out of the window.</p>
-
-<p>Martha had come here in the ardent hope of giving comfort, and she felt
-a little hurt. She smothered the feeling back into her heart, however,
-as she said:<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82">{82}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I knew it was anguish to you, standing there and going through that
-ceremony.”</p>
-
-<p>He turned, and looked at her.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, rather!” he said, with a short laugh, still keeping the cigar in
-his mouth, and talking with his teeth clenched upon it. Then he turned
-his face toward the window again; but his glance was so vague that
-Martha felt that he saw some picture in his mind, rather than the scene
-below. “The service was the same,” he said, clasping his hands behind
-his head, and narrowing his eyes as if to get the perspective. “The
-music was the same&mdash;and those roses! And that was not all. Vivid as she
-always is to me in every other respect, I have not always been able to
-hold on to her voice; but to-day I heard it perfectly, saying, ‘I,
-Sophia, take thee, Harold,’ and all the rest.”</p>
-
-<p>He got up suddenly, threw his cigar into the grate, and walked across
-the room.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, poor Harold!” Martha said, her voice thick with tears.</p>
-
-<p>The effect of her words was instantaneous. He turned suddenly, and
-showed in both face and figure a swiftly summoned and effectual calm.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83">{83}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“My dear girl,” he said quickly, “you don’t suppose I’m posing for an
-injured husband, I hope? I have suffered, of course; but with a man
-certain kinds of suffering get to be a business. To speak of it seems
-like talking shop. It’s detestable to be talking it to you now; but the
-truth is, this wedding affair has nearly knocked me out. I could have
-gone on keeping up the bluff, of course, and talked the usual bosh with
-the wedding-guests in yonder; but I found I had a contract with myself
-that had to be seen to. It has cost me something to smooth out and
-harden down my thoughts and feelings about my own life; but I had got
-the thing done. This wedding business, however, upheaved it all. When I
-found that I was actually sinking into the mushy swamp of self-pity, I
-thought it was about time to come away, and steady up my nerve a bit.
-I’m all right now, however, and I see clear again. The thing’s over, and
-no harm is done.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha’s eyes followed him wistfully as he turned to the dressing-table,
-picked up a brush, and smoothed the swart surface of his thick, dark
-hair, brushed some specks of dust from his coat, and carefully
-straightened the injured flower.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84">{84}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Shall we go back?” he said. “We may be missed.”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t go quite yet. No one will think about us,” she said; and then she
-added doubtfully: “May I talk to you a little, Harold?”</p>
-
-<p>“Certainly, my dear. Talk all you want,” he answered, sitting down;
-“only there’s nothing to say.”</p>
-
-<p>“Where is she? I’ve so often longed to know.”</p>
-
-<p>“I haven’t the least idea. She asked me not to follow her movements, and
-I never have.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you do not even know whether she is living or dead?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I know that much. She is not dead. I feel her in the world. If she
-went out of it, I believe I should know it. Besides, I would have been
-informed of that. She spoke of it, and said so.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a moment’s pause, which Martha broke.</p>
-
-<p>“Will you tell me this,” she said, “whether you are as hopeless about it
-all as you were when I last spoke to you of it?”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly as hopeless. When a thing is ab<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85">{85}</a></span>solute, my dear, it doesn’t
-have degrees. I have never been anything else than hopeless since the
-hour of my last interview with her. She told me then,” he said, with a
-sort of cold conciseness, “that her first wish was to set me absolutely
-free. She said she wanted me to marry again. She said that just as soon
-as we had lived apart the time required by law for a divorce, she wanted
-me to get it. She said she was sorry there was no way to get it sooner.
-She said, also, that she would take back her maiden name.”</p>
-
-<p>He got up, thrust his hands into his pockets, and, walking over to the
-window, stood there for a moment. Then he turned suddenly, and came and
-stood in front of Martha, looking her directly in the eyes. She saw by
-that look that he was calm and steady, and so she ventured to question
-him a little further.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know whom she lives with?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p>“With an aunt, whose life, as she told me, is utterly out of the world
-that we knew together. She said that, on this account, there was good
-reason to hope that we would never meet again.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86">{86}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Martha, who felt that this subject might not be spoken of between them
-again, continued to question him as he stood and looked down at her with
-a perfect consciousness of self-possession.</p>
-
-<p>“Was she so beautiful?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“And are you still unchanged in giving her the supreme place that you
-did give her from the moment you first saw her?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he said again.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harold,” exclaimed the girl, “I sometimes think it might have
-turned out differently if the marriage had not been so rash and sudden.”</p>
-
-<p>He took a seat near her, and continued to look at her as he said:</p>
-
-<p>“It could have made no difference to me. You don’t fully understand it,
-Martha. It is impossible that you should. I knew, the day I met her,
-that I had been set apart and saved for her. I know it now. It was the
-kind of gravitation that comes once in a life.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you do not regret it?”</p>
-
-<p>“For myself, not in the least. She was my wife for a month. What I have
-gone through since is a small price to pay for that. But<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87">{87}</a></span> when I think
-of what it has cost her&mdash;that most delicate of women&mdash;to face the odium
-of it&mdash;that superb woman’s life shadowed by the vulgarity of a suddenly
-ruptured marriage; and&mdash;deeper than that!&mdash;to have her best life maimed
-forever&mdash;God! I curse the day that I was born!”</p>
-
-<p>“And what has she brought on you, I’d like to know?” cried Martha. “It
-was she who cast you off&mdash;not you her. Ah, Harold, if she had been the
-woman she should have been, she never could have done it!”</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her with some impatience in his glance.</p>
-
-<p>“Whether she was the woman she should have been or not is a thing that
-neither concerns nor interests me. She was the woman I loved. The whole
-thing is in that.”</p>
-
-<p>“And the woman you still love? Is that true, Harold?”</p>
-
-<p>“True as death,” he said; “but what does it all matter? Your
-relentlessness is the friend’s natural feeling. It shows how bootless it
-is to give account. I care more for your opinion than any other, but
-even your scorn does not signify to me here. It misses the point. The
-only pride that is involved is pride<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88">{88}</a></span> in my own immutability. Love ought
-always to be a regeneration,” he went on, as if putting into shape the
-thoughts that were rising out of the recent chaos in his mind. “It’s
-easy enough to keep true when the love, the joy, the equal give and
-take, go on unbroken. It’s when a man actually turns and walks out of
-heaven, and the gates shut behind him forever, that he finds out the
-stuff that’s in him. Sometimes, when I think about it, I try to fancy
-what would be my humiliation if I found I had grown to love her less.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha was silent a moment. Then she said, as if urged by the necessity
-of speaking out, for this once, all that she had so long kept back:</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose, after you get the divorce, you should hear that she was
-married?”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m braced to bear that, if it comes,” he said. “I know it is possible,
-but I don’t fear it. I may, of course, be wrong; but I don’t believe,
-with what has been between us, that she could ever be the wife of
-another man while I lived. She might think so. She might even try&mdash;go
-part of the way; but I never felt more secure of anything than that she
-would find herself unable to do it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89">{89}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“Then do you think that she possibly still cares for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; I’m not a fool. She made that point sufficiently plain. Didn’t she
-tell me, in the downright, simple words, that she did not love me&mdash;had
-never loved me&mdash;had found out it was all a mistake? I believe she meant
-it absolutely. I believe it was true. You don’t suppose, if I doubted
-it, I’d have given her up as I have done?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harold, what was it all about, that quarrel that you had? Could you
-bear to tell me?”</p>
-
-<p>“There’s nothing to tell. We thought we were perfectly suited, perfectly
-sympathetic. Our feelings had stood every test but marriage. When it
-came to that, they failed. It was a case of non-adjustment of
-feelings&mdash;different points of view&mdash;different natures, perhaps. I saw
-facing me the demand that I should change myself, root and branch, and
-become a different creature from what God had made me. This I could not
-do. I might have pretended and acted, but she was not the woman to
-tolerate the wretched puppet of a man which that would have made of me.
-<i>Her</i> changing was a thing I never thought of.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90">{90}</a></span> I was never mean enough
-to think that a woman was bound to sacrifice her individuality in
-marriage. Why should a wife surrender that sacred citadel any more than
-a husband? How odious should I feel myself, if I had ever taken that
-position in the slightest degree! And shams were out of the question
-with us. Neither of us could have tolerated anything uncandid&mdash;anything
-that smacked of a tacit convention.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a moment’s pause, and then Martha broke out impulsively:</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t help thinking that it might have been prevented. It may be that
-you were too proud. Have you ever thought that?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” he said, with a certain grimness. “I have never taken that view of
-the case. She made it so entirely plain that she wanted to be rid of me
-at once and forever&mdash;that there was no room for reflection on that
-point. If there is a man alive who could have held her bound after her
-words to me, I hope I may never make his acquaintance.”</p>
-
-<p>The appearance of agitation which had marked the beginning of the
-interview was now utterly gone from Harold. He spoke deliberately, and
-as if with a certain satisfac<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91">{91}</a></span>tion in the sense of getting his thoughts
-into form.</p>
-
-<p>Again there was a pause. Then Martha said, speaking very low:</p>
-
-<p>“But, Harold, you are doing without love.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have had it,” he answered, “and what has been is mine, to keep
-forever. I have lost my wife, but the greatness, the exaltation, of my
-love increases. I have learned that love is subjective and independent.
-A renunciation is only an episode in it. I deserve no pity. No, Martha;
-never fall into the mistake of pitying me. I should pity you from my
-heart if I thought you would miss what I have had; and the gods may be
-lenient to as sweet a soul as yours. You may have the joy, some day,
-without the renunciation.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t want it! I wouldn’t have it!” cried the girl, vehemently. “No
-one will ever love me, and I wouldn’t have them to. It would break my
-heart. It makes me seem ridiculous even to speak of it. I want <i>you</i> to
-have love and joy. That is all I ask.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, I’ve had it. Be satisfied. Of the two of us,&mdash;except that you
-have hope, which I have not,&mdash;you are the one to be pitied.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harold, <i>don’t</i>! Unless you want to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92">{92}</a></span> break my heart outright, don’t
-talk to me about being happy. I want happiness for <i>you: I’ve</i> got no
-use for it.”</p>
-
-<p>She got up as she spoke, and moved toward him. Harold stood up, too, and
-bent to kiss her. Demonstrations between them were unusual, and it was a
-very Martha-like instinct that made her now so incline her head as to
-receive his caress upon her hair.</p>
-
-<p>“We will go back to the others now,” said Harold. “Thank you, Martha.”</p>
-
-<p>So together they went back to the wedding-party.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93">{93}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_12" id="fig_12"></a>
-<img src="images/i_092.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I KNEW IT WAS ANGUISH TO YOU.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_13" id="fig_13"></a>
-<img src="images/i_092-2.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“AS SHE HAD SEEN HER ONCE BEFORE.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> day after the wedding, when the bridal pair had left Paris by one
-train and the bride’s mother and younger sisters by another, when Harold
-had gone off to attend to some business which formed one part of the
-reason of his coming to Paris, Martha, having now full use of the
-carriage, ordered it to wait outside the atelier while she went in to
-see if the princess was there. It confirmed a suspicion which had
-somehow got into her head when she found that her friend was absent.
-With scarcely a glance at the model and the busy students, she withdrew,
-and, reëntering her carriage, ordered her coachman to drive her to the
-Rue Presbourg.</p>
-
-<p>Upon going at once to her friend’s private rooms, she found her lying on
-the lounge in semi-darkness, as she had seen her once before; but now
-there were no tears, nor any trace of them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94">{94}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I have a real headache this time,” she said, as she stretched out her
-hand, with a smile. “It’s better than it was, though, and I am glad to
-see you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Were you at the wedding?” was Martha’s first eager question, when she
-had kissed her friend and taken the seat beside her.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I was there,” said the other promptly. “How charming you looked in
-your bridesmaid’s dress, and how handsome your Alice really is!”</p>
-
-<p>She wondered what Martha would think if she knew the truth&mdash;that she had
-seen Alice and herself scarcely more than if they had not been present!</p>
-
-<p>“And you saw Harold?” was the next question.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I saw your paragon of paragons,” was the answer, spoken in light
-and well-guarded tones.</p>
-
-<p>Martha’s face fell. Still, she was too earnest to be lightly rebuffed,
-so she went on:</p>
-
-<p>“And what did you think of him? Now, Sonia, don’t tease me! You know how
-important it is to me&mdash;what you think of Harold. Do tell me, dear, and
-don’t laugh.”</p>
-
-<p>In response to this earnest appeal the prin<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95">{95}</a></span>cess’s face grew grave. She
-did not look at Martha, however, but occupied herself with twisting up
-her loosened hair as she answered:</p>
-
-<p>“I thought him handsome, dear. I thought his face both strong and
-clever. I could understand you loving him so much. I could see nothing
-in his face, or figure, or expression, that looked in the least degree
-unworthy of the great ideal that you have of him. There! Does that
-satisfy you?”</p>
-
-<p>She caught Martha’s chin between her thumb and forefinger, and for a
-second she met her gaze full. Then she got up hastily, and walked across
-the room.</p>
-
-<p>When she presently came back, she had the air of a person thoroughly on
-guard, and conscious of her ability to cope with circumstances. She did
-not return to the lounge, but sat upright on a stiff sofa which admitted
-of no lounging. Martha, glowing with pleasure at her heroine’s praise of
-her hero, was determined to follow up her advantage.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you will take back what you said, and let me bring him to see
-you&mdash;won’t you, Sonia?” she said ardently. “We are going to have the
-apartment to ourselves for weeks, Harold and I; and we three could have
-such<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96">{96}</a></span> ideal times&mdash;such little dinners and jaunts to the play! As things
-are with you both, I think there is all the more reason for you to know
-each other. You could be such friends! I should think a real man friend
-would be such a comfort to you. You seem made for that sort of
-<i>camaraderie</i>, as well as for love. And what a comfort the friendship of
-such a woman as you would be to Harold! I feel myself at times so
-inadequate to him, and I have the very same feeling, sometimes, with
-you. I will confess to you, Sonia, that I did have a hope once, even
-though you are a princess and he just a simple American gentleman, that
-you and Harold might some time, after years, come to be something to
-each other; but I have given that up. I see that it is impossible to
-either of you. I had a talk with Harold yesterday, and he is as much
-protected by his past as you are by yours. So there could be no danger
-to either in such an intercourse. Oh, Sonia, <i>won’t</i> you consent to it?”</p>
-
-<p>There was great gravity and deliberation in the tones of the princess as
-she answered impressively:</p>
-
-<p>“Now, Martha, listen to me. I want you to put that idea out of your head
-at once and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97">{97}</a></span> forever. You will do this, I am sure, when I tell you how
-it distresses me and embarrasses our whole intercourse. You are quite
-mistaken in supposing that I have either a need or a desire for the
-friendship of any man alive. You really must believe me when I tell you
-that I am sick of men. One reason that I have so entirely given up
-society is that they fret me so with their offers of what you and they
-call friendship. I did have men friends once, and I know what they
-amount to. While I was married, my&mdash;I mean the man I married&mdash;was my
-friend. Since I lost him I have never had another.”</p>
-
-<p>As she ended, she rose and walked across the room. Her tone was so
-decided that Martha felt that she could say nothing more, and so, with a
-sigh, she gave up this dream too.</p>
-
-<p>In a moment the princess returned, bringing two photographs, which she
-had taken from a drawer.</p>
-
-<p>“I have been looking at some old pictures this morning,” she said. “This
-one was taken when, as a girl, I was presented at the English court.”</p>
-
-<p>She was silent while Martha was uttering<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98">{98}</a></span> her glowing words of praise,
-as she looked at the photograph of the beautiful young girl in her white
-court-dress with plumes and veil; and then she put the other into her
-hand, saying quietly:</p>
-
-<p>“This was taken in my wedding-dress, a few days after my marriage.”</p>
-
-<p>Her manner indicated a controlled excitement, but she was quite
-unprepared for the effect that this photograph had upon Martha. The girl
-fixed her eyes upon it with a sort of greedy delight, and while she drew
-in her breath with thick, short respirations, the hand that held the
-picture trembled.</p>
-
-<p>“I can see it all!” she exclaimed. “Oh, Sonia, were you ever really as
-happy as that? What were you looking at, with your head turned in that
-eager way?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I was a Happy Princess once, my dear. But you are a wonderful
-creature, Martha! No one but you ever thought to ask that question, so I
-have been saved the embarrassment of explaining. Since you have asked
-me, I will tell you that I was looking at my husband. While the
-photographer was posing me in various ways, my husband was waiting for
-me. He was supposed to be out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99">{99}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_14" id="fig_14"></a>
-<img src="images/i_098.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>OH, SONIA, WERE YOU EVER REALLY AS HAPPY AS THAT?’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">of sight, but I heard a newspaper rustle, and looked quickly around, and
-caught a glimpse of him, between two screens, seated quietly and
-unconsciously reading the paper. One of those great rushes of passionate
-tenderness which the sight of the man she loves can sometimes bring to a
-woman’s heart came over me. At that moment the photographer got the
-instantaneous impression. I don’t know why I should tell you all this,
-except that you saw it all there. To other people there never seemed any
-special significance in the picture.”</p>
-
-<p>She reached out her hand to take back the photographs, but Martha handed
-her only the first.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Sonia, <i>let</i> me keep this!” she begged. “It is such delight to me
-to look at it!”</p>
-
-<p>“No, dear; I couldn’t. No one but myself should ever see that picture. I
-ought not perhaps to have shown it to you. It was just an impulse.
-Promise never to speak of either of these pictures&mdash;not even to me. You
-never will?”</p>
-
-<p>“Never,” said Martha, sadly, as she gave the picture up. Her friend took
-it, and, without glancing at it, locked it away in a drawer.</p>
-
-<p>When she came back her whole manner had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100">{100}</a></span> changed. She began at once to
-talk about her work at the atelier, and told Martha that Étienne wished
-her to enter a picture for the Salon. The wedding preparations had kept
-Martha at home a good deal lately, and the princess had some interesting
-bits of news to give her. She was very graphic in her account of some of
-Étienne’s last criticisms, and got into high spirits, in which Martha,
-somehow, could not entirely take part.</p>
-
-<p>The girl went away at last rather heavy-hearted. This conversation had
-deprived her of her last hope of bringing the princess and her brother
-together. She had an engagement with Harold for the afternoon, so she
-could not go to the atelier; but she promised to meet the princess there
-in good time next morning.</p>
-
-<p>That afternoon she indulged herself in giving her brother a brief
-account of her romantic friendship. She did not, however, mention the
-name by which the princess was known to her, or any but the external
-facts in the case.</p>
-
-<p>As she had foreseen, her brother made no objection to the intercourse,
-and told her she had been very wise to keep the whole thing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101">{101}</a></span> to herself.
-He did not seem in the least surprised that the princess refused to make
-his acquaintance, and explained it to Martha by saying that she was
-probably an independent and self-willed young woman, who was disposed to
-suit only herself in the matter of friends; but that this was not
-inconsistent with a certain regard for conventionalities, and it was
-probable that she did not care to bother with her family, or even to
-take the trouble to find out anything about them. Martha felt that her
-brother was moderately interested in the matter because of its relation
-to herself; but in spite of all her enthusiasm she could not feel that
-she had inspired him with any special interest in the princess, or any
-appreciably greater desire to make her acquaintance than she had shown
-to make his.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102">{102}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">A few</span> days later Martha came to the atelier in a state of only
-half-concealed excitement. She had a plan which she broached to the
-princess with some timidity. She began by saying that her brother was
-compelled to be absent from Paris during the whole of the next day, and
-that, as it was Sunday, and there would be no work at the atelier, she
-would have the whole day on her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“Come and spend it with me,” said the princess.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if you would only come and spend it with <i>me</i>!” said Martha, so
-wistfully that her friend laughed gaily, and said:</p>
-
-<p>“Why not?”</p>
-
-<p>“Harold takes an early train, and will not be back until night,” said
-Martha; “and it would be such joy to have you in my own room, sitting in
-my own chair, lying on my own bed, standing on my own rugs, and giv<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103">{103}</a></span>ing
-me sweet associations with these things forever.”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course I’ll come&mdash;with pleasure,” said Sonia, pausing in her work to
-answer Martha’s whispered words.</p>
-
-<p>So, in this dream, at least, Martha was not to be disappointed; and she
-parted from her friend with the delightful expectation that she was to
-see her next as her guest.</p>
-
-<p>The young girl waked early next morning, and had her first breakfast
-with her brother; and after he had gone she found the time long while
-she waited for her visitor. No definite hour had been agreed upon, and
-she was afraid that the princess would come far too late to suit her
-eager longing. Still she had not liked to urge too much upon her.</p>
-
-<p>Martha had ordered heaps of flowers to make her room and the little
-boudoir which adjoined it look attractive; and she took Harold in to
-inspect them before he went away. He rushed through hurriedly, said
-everything was charming, gave her a hasty kiss, and was gone.</p>
-
-<p>She stood at the window, which looked upon the Place de la Madeleine,
-and waited a long time, thinking deeply. The flower-mar<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104">{104}</a></span>ket below was
-unusually rich, as the day was warm and springlike; and it presently
-occurred to her that among the glowing masses of bloom exposed to view
-there were some varieties of flowers which she did not have. She
-therefore determined to fill up a part of the time of waiting by going
-down to get some of these. Hastily putting on her hat, she ran down the
-winding stairway, crossed the open space, and was soon threading her way
-among the flower-stalls under the shadow of the beautiful great church.
-She kept her eye on the entrance to her apartment-house, however; and as
-she knew the princess’s carriage and livery, she felt that there was no
-danger of failing to see her friend, should she happen to arrive during
-her brief absence.</p>
-
-<p>The princess, however, did not come in her carriage, or, rather, she
-sent it away after having crossed the thronged streets of the Place de
-la Concorde, and, wrapped in her dark cloak, she walked quickly along
-with the foot-passengers until she reached the house of which she was in
-search. Then she slipped quietly in, and mounted the steps to the third
-story.</p>
-
-<p>Her ring was answered by a man-servant,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105">{105}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_15" id="fig_15"></a>
-<img src="images/i_104.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“<span class="lftspc">‘</span>I BEG YOUR PARDON,’ HE SAID AGAIN.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">who explained that his young mistress had just gone down to the
-flower-market for a moment, and who ushered her into the large salon to
-wait.</p>
-
-<p>Scarcely was she seated there when the bell rang again, and the servant
-opened the door to admit Harold. He had forgotten an important paper,
-and had come back for it in great haste. He knew that it was his part to
-avoid the princess in case she should have arrived; but concluding that
-she would, of course, be with Martha in her own rooms, he came directly
-into the salon, which was the nearest way of reaching his own apartment.</p>
-
-<p>When he had entered, and the door was closed behind him, he took two or
-three steps forward, and then stopped as if petrified in his place.</p>
-
-<p>The princess had risen to her feet, and stood confronting him, her face
-as pale and agitated as his own.</p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said, taking off his hat mechanically; “did you,
-perhaps, wish to see me?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” she answered; “I wished to see your sister. She has gone across to
-the flower-market.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106">{106}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes had fallen under his, and she felt that she was trembling as
-she stood in front of him and answered his questions as mechanically as
-a stupid child.</p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon,” he said again; and he seemed to grow paler still as
-he stood there irresolute.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you wish to see my sister alone?” he then said. “I don’t understand.
-Do you wish me to stay or to go?”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you to go,” she said, rallying a little as the thought occurred
-to her that Martha might return. “Your sister is expecting me. I came
-with the understanding that you were to be away.”</p>
-
-<p>A light broke over him, but it cast a sudden shadow on his face.</p>
-
-<p>“You are, then, the princess of whom she has spoken to me,” he said. “I
-beg your pardon.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am Sophia Rutledge,” she said. “Martha believes me to be a princess,
-and I let her think it. Some one in the atelier told her so. What will
-you tell her now?”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly what you wish.”</p>
-
-<p>“Say nothing. Let her keep her delusion. Her friendship is dear to me; I
-do not wish it turned to hate.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107">{107}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_16" id="fig_16"></a>
-<img src="images/i_106.jpg" width="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“AMONG THE FLOWER STALLS.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p>“I shall say nothing,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>They both stood silent there a moment, looking away from each other.
-Then the woman, feeling her knees grow weak and trembling under her,
-sank back into her seat; and the man, urged by some impulse of
-self-protection which demanded that he should fly, had bowed and left
-the room before she had quite recovered from the momentary dizziness
-which had possessed her as she fell into her chair. She heard the front
-door close behind him presently, and knew that he was gone. Then she
-felt that she must brace herself to meet Martha calmly.</p>
-
-<p>When the young girl, a few moments later, came in with her load of
-flowers, and smilingly uttered her apologies and surprise at having
-missed her, her friend’s senses seemed somehow to return, and she was
-able to answer calmly.</p>
-
-<p>It seemed to Martha that the beautiful princess looked ill, and she was
-tenderly anxious about her; but she little suspected that during those
-few moments of her absence Sonia and her old love had been face to face,
-or, more marvelous still, that Harold had seen again the woman who had
-been his wife.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108">{108}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> impression left upon the mind of Sonia by that meeting with Harold
-was an intensely disturbing one. Even the stirrings of old feeling, and
-the memories of past pleasures and pains, which the sight of him had
-recalled, were less strong in her than a certain feeling of humiliation.
-She felt that she had been overcome by so great a weakness that she must
-have made a self-betrayal of which it nearly maddened her to think.
-Knowing how completely she had been thrown off her guard by this totally
-unexpected meeting, she felt that every emotion of her heart, which she
-herself was so conscious of, had been laid bare to him, and she could
-not rest for the torment of that thought. Her hours with Martha were
-therefore disturbed and unsatisfactory to them both; and when, soon
-after the mid-day meal, Martha asked her if she would like to drive, she
-accepted the relief of that idea with alac<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109">{109}</a></span>rity, only stipulating that
-they should not go to the crowded Bois.</p>
-
-<p>Martha ordered the carriage, and they drove about for an hour or two,
-stopping several times to go in and look at churches which they had
-often seen, but never entered. In some of these vespers were in
-progress, and they paid their sous for seats near the door, and sat down
-for a few moments; but the music played too dangerously upon Sonia’s
-overwrought feelings, and she hurried her friend away.</p>
-
-<p>In one or two of the smaller churches there were only silent kneeling
-figures here and there, and the two women walked about, looking at the
-mixture of dignified antiquity and tawdry decoration on every side, and
-reading the tablets all about the approach to the chancel, erected as
-thank-offerings to Mary and Joseph for favors granted. In spite of her
-inward perturbation, Sonia could not help smiling at the economy of
-words on some of these. One or two had merely, “Merci, Joseph,” or
-“Merci, Marie et Joseph,” while the more elaborate ones recorded the
-thanks of the giver of the tablet for a favor received&mdash;the restoration
-of a beloved child from illness, the conversion of an erring son, the
-rescue of a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110">{110}</a></span> husband from shipwreck, and even the miraculous
-intervention of Mary and Joseph to restore to health a little boy who
-had been gored by a bull. The very ignorance of it was touching to the
-two women, and the conviction that it was in each of these poor hearts a
-reaching upward kept them from feeling any scorn.</p>
-
-<p>As they returned to their carriage, Martha, who during the recent scene
-had been furtively watching her friend’s face, now saw upon it an
-expression which she was at a loss to account for. Was it, she wondered,
-religious devotion, stirred by the associations of the church, which
-made the lovely face beside her look so passionately tense with feeling?
-For the first time it occurred to her to wonder what her friend’s
-religion was.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you a Catholic, Sonia?” she said.</p>
-
-<p>The answer came impulsively:</p>
-
-<p>“No, I am not a Catholic. It is easier to say what I am not than what I
-am&mdash;except that, before and beyond all, I am a miserable woman.”</p>
-
-<p>As these words escaped her the lack of self-control of which they gave
-proof was so alarming to her that she begged her friend to take her home
-at once, saying that she was really<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111">{111}</a></span> not well, and must be alone to
-rest. Martha felt chilled and hurt. It was all so disappointing, and she
-seemed so completely put at a distance. The day which she had looked
-forward to with such eager joy had turned out dreary and sad. There was
-nothing to do, however, but to drive her friend back to her apartment.</p>
-
-<p>When they got there, Sonia turned and kissed her warmly, but said
-nothing; and Martha drove home, feeling lonely and perplexed.</p>
-
-<p>She did not expect to see the princess at the atelier next morning; but
-to her amazement, when she got there quite early herself, the beautiful,
-lithe figure was already before the easel, hard at work. There was,
-moreover, an air of strength and self-reliance about her which offered
-the greatest contrast to her manner of the day before.</p>
-
-<p>As Martha came into the room, Sonia, who was one of the quiet group
-around the model&mdash;a thin child who twitched and wriggled and could not
-keep still for two consecutive minutes&mdash;waved her a welcome with a
-little flourish of her brush, and gave her a bright, decided nod. It was
-too late for Martha to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112">{112}</a></span> get a position near her, so talk was impossible
-until the midday recess; but that gesture, glance, and bow of the head
-were enough of themselves to put new spirit into the girl, and she found
-her place, and fell to work, going ahead with more vim than she had been
-able to command for a long time.</p>
-
-<p>When rest-time came the two friends showed their canvases to each other,
-and both of them could see the improvement in their work. Feeling much
-encouraged, they went off to the butcher’s shop, selected their chops,
-and while waiting for them to be cooked, sat at their little table in
-the <i>crémerie</i>, and talked.</p>
-
-<p>At first they spoke only of their atelier work and Etienne’s criticisms
-and suggestions; but when that was pretty much talked out for the
-moment, Sonia, with a sudden change of manner, said abruptly:</p>
-
-<p>“I want to atone to you for the gruesome mood that I was in when I went
-to see you yesterday. If you’ll invite me again, I will be
-different&mdash;and, oh, by the way, I’ve got over that foolish idea that I
-had about not meeting your brother. If it would give you any pleasure, I
-don’t in the least object. It would certainly be very silly to let him
-spoil<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113">{113}</a></span> this beautiful chance of our being together, as it would if I
-refused to meet him.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha looked at her in surprise. She had so entirely made up her mind
-that the powers had decreed that these two beings should not meet that
-Sonia’s words rather disconcerted her.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, are you not pleased?” said the latter, disappointedly. “I thought
-it would delight you.”</p>
-
-<p>“So it does,” said Martha, quickly; “but, to be perfectly frank, I had
-so entirely accepted the idea that there might be some unknown danger in
-a meeting between you two that I had given it up; and now that the
-likelihood of it comes again, some sense of danger comes with it. You
-both seem such tremendous forces&mdash;in my eyes, at least,&mdash;that it is not
-like any ordinary acquaintanceship. It is very foolish, though; for even
-two locomotives may rush toward each other without danger, if each is
-solid on its own track, leading to its different destination. And surely
-no harm is done when they come very close, and exchange signals of
-friendliness, and then part, and go their opposite ways.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perfectly sage and true! Most wisely<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114">{114}</a></span> spoken!” said Sonia. “So you are
-reconciled now, are you? What weathercocks we women are! I am sure I may
-say it of you as well as of myself, contrasting your former eagerness
-with your present reluctance for this meeting. Well, I suppose it’s a
-part of our nature, and I don’t know that men are so very different.”</p>
-
-<p>“Harold is different,” said Martha.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no doubt <i>he</i> is quite, quite the immaculate,” said her friend,
-lightly; and then, with a sudden change, she added in tones of extreme
-earnestness:</p>
-
-<p>“Martha, you have never told him one word about me&mdash;have you? Nothing, I
-mean, of what I have told you or let you see concerning myself. All that
-was and must remain sacred between you and me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not a word, not a syllable!” cried Martha. “How could you even ask? He
-knows of you only as my atelier friend, and that you are a Russian
-princess, and he knows of my visits to you, and my love and admiration
-for you; but not one word of what your confidence has taken me into
-about yourself personally. I told him how little I knew or cared to know
-about you&mdash;that you were a young and beau<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115">{115}</a></span>tiful widow, whose past
-history was wholly unknown to me. What you have let me see of the
-writing which that history has made upon your heart was a sacred
-confidence which no power could ever draw out of me.”</p>
-
-<p>“I knew it, dear. I never doubted it. Don’t defend yourself, as if I had
-distrusted you. It is because I do trust you that I consent to meet your
-brother. I would certainly not willingly make the acquaintance of any
-man who could possibly be supposed to know as much of my heart and its
-weaknesses as I have revealed to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“And when will you come to me again?” said Martha, allowing herself to
-feel unchecked the joy which the prospect before her stirred within her
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>“I will dine with you to-morrow, if you like,” said Sonia, with an air
-of decision.</p>
-
-<p>It was an intense surprise to Harold when Martha told him that the
-princess was to dine with her next evening. He at once proposed to go
-out and leave them <i>tête-à-tête</i>, but his wonder increased when he was
-told that the princess had avowed her willingness to meet him. After
-hearing that, there was but one thing for him to do. This he saw
-plainly;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116">{116}</a></span> but at the same time he realized that a more difficult ordeal
-could not possibly be put before him. What could be her object in a
-course so extraordinary, and what could be the feeling in her heart to
-make such a course possible?</p>
-
-<p>He had believed her to be deeply moved, as no sensitive woman could fail
-to be, by their unexpected meeting of the day before; but that she
-should deliberately wish to repeat the meeting looked like the most
-heartless caprice. She had always been capricious, daring, and
-impetuous, and had loved to do unusual and exciting things; but that he
-could excuse as a part of her character and individuality. Heartless he
-had never had occasion to think her. Even her sudden recoil from him and
-repudiation of their marriage he believed to be the result of some
-commanding quality of her fine nature, which he could not help
-reverencing, even though he did not comprehend it.</p>
-
-<p>The courtship of Harold Keene and Sophia Rutledge had been very short,
-and their wedding sudden. He had met the young English girl in London
-near the close of the season; had seen her first in her court-dress, at
-her presentation; and had afterward spent ten days with her at a country
-house. Their mu<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117">{117}</a></span>tual attraction had been a current which had swept
-everything before it; and when it had to be decided whether or not she
-should go on a voyage to Japan with her aunt, as had been planned,&mdash;a
-prospect which would separate them for months to come,&mdash;they took things
-into their own hands, and were married at short notice. The parents of
-Miss Rutledge were both dead. Her father, an Englishman, had married a
-Russian; and it was her mother’s sister with whom she was supposed to
-live, though she had spent most of her grownup years, and all of her
-childhood, in England. Her aunt was now a widow and a feverishly
-enthusiastic traveler, and the girl had looked forward with some
-pleasure to the long travels ahead of them. Her sudden marriage to the
-young American, introduced to her by some common friends, changed her
-life absolutely; but Harold was determined that she should realize at
-least one of her ardent dreams of travel, and take a journey up the
-Nile. Soon after their marriage they had set out on this journey, and
-the history of its rapturous beginning and miserable ending was known
-only to themselves.</p>
-
-<p>In this way it had happened that Harold’s wife had never been seen by
-his family, and he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118">{118}</a></span> had even declined to send them a photograph of her.
-He said he disliked photographs, and none could ever give a fair
-representation of his beautiful wife. He wrote Martha that she must do
-her best to restrain her impatience, as they were to come at once to
-America at the end of their honeymoon on the Nile, and to make their
-home there, while he settled down to work.</p>
-
-<p>Instead of this, however, came the brief announcement of their
-separation, which almost broke Martha’s heart. She had put aside any
-natural feeling of deprivation and pain, to throw herself, heart and
-soul, into the delight of Harold’s romantic marriage, and as the young
-couple dreamed their way up the old Nile, she dreamed it with them. It
-is probable that few people in the world get the intense joy out of
-their personal experiences of love that this ardent and impassioned girl
-derived from the mere imagination of her brother’s happiness. The blow
-that followed it was therefore very keen and deep. The courage and
-complete reserve which her brother had shown in the matter had given her
-strength to bear it; but, in spite of that, a permanent shadow had been
-cast upon her life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119">{119}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">As Sonia</span> got out of her carriage before the house in the Place de la
-Madeleine, and mounted the steps with her maid, her heart was beating
-violently, but she had never been stronger in the sense of complete
-self-possession. She knew that a difficult ordeal was before her, but
-she had no fear that her spirit would falter. It was only necessary for
-her to remember her former weakness, and how she had paled and cowered
-before Harold, to make her securer in her defiant resolution with every
-pulse-beat.</p>
-
-<p>At the door of the apartment she dismissed her maid, and, dropping the
-train of her heavy dress, swept into the little ante-chamber, regally
-tall and self-collected, to the admiration of the servants, who thought
-her every inch a princess.</p>
-
-<p>A door opposite opened, and Martha appeared in a pretty evening gown and
-led her friend into the salon.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120">{120}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Near the table, holding the “Figaro” in his hands, and bending his eyes
-upon its columns, sat Harold. His severe evening dress, his grave, dark
-face, with its close-trimmed, pointed beard, and his straight, smooth
-hair, with its definite part, all spoke of composure, deliberation, and
-repose.</p>
-
-<p>He rose to his feet, laid down the paper, and stood in his place,
-waiting. His sister’s guest had taken off her lace hood and thrown open
-her cloak, between the parted folds of which appeared a rich evening
-dress. She came forward, moving lightly in her heavy garments, and when
-Martha, with a fluttering heart, which made her manner somewhat excited
-and confused, said, looking from one to the other, “My brother, Mr.
-Keene&mdash;the Princess Mannernorff,” she looked him full in the face with
-what Martha thought a rather haughty look, and gave him a somewhat
-ceremonious bow.</p>
-
-<p>Harold met her gaze with unflinching eyes, and bowed in his turn with an
-air which Martha thought unnecessarily formal and distant. After all she
-had said to each about the other, it disappointed her that their meeting
-should be so absolutely without cordiality. She<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121">{121}</a></span> asked her friend if she
-would come into her room to lay aside her wraps; but the latter
-declined, and threw her cloak and hood upon a chair before Harold had
-time to offer his assistance.</p>
-
-<p>She was dressed in a plain gown of thick yellow satin, with trimmings of
-brown fur and creamy lace. A diamond arrow pierced the mass of her rich
-brown hair, and a great clasp of many-colored jewels in an antique
-setting held the folds of her gown at the waist. She wore no other
-ornaments, and her beautiful arms and hands were without bracelets or
-rings. She did not seat herself, but opened a fan, and stood waving it
-softly as she looked down at Martha from her greater height. The
-introduction had, of course, been in French, and the conversation
-continued in that language.</p>
-
-<p>In strong contrast to her glowing brilliancy of color Harold was very
-pale as he stood with his shoulders braced against the mantel, and
-talked to her. He was, however, quite as collected as she.</p>
-
-<p>Presently she began to wonder dimly if he were not more so; for
-underneath her assured calm of manner there was a wild excitement<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122">{122}</a></span> of
-which she was intensely aware, and all the force of her will was set
-upon the effort of concealing it from her companions.</p>
-
-<p>She did not wish Martha to know that she was excited; and to have this
-quiet man in front of her get even a suspicion that she was not fully as
-composed as he appeared to be, was a thought that she could not endure.</p>
-
-<p>She began to talk about the atelier where she and Martha had met and
-made friends, and she gave an amusing description of her first encounter
-with Etienne when she had gone there to enter her name as a pupil.</p>
-
-<p>“It was my first venture into the Bohemia of the Latin Quarter,” she
-said; “and I felt brave, but self-protective, when I reached the place
-and went in, with my maid, to investigate. The cloak-room was empty, and
-when I got to the atelier, and walked around the great piece of
-sail-cloth which turned its dirty and undecorated side toward me, I saw
-a fat little old man, in carpet slippers, and a dirty, besmeared linen
-blouse, and black skull-cap, washing brushes in some soft soap contained
-in an old lobster-can. ‘I wish to see M. Etienne,’ I said rather
-haughtily; and to my great indignation he answered, still dabbing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123">{123}</a></span> and
-flattening out his brushes in their lather of soap, ‘What do you want
-with him?’ My maid quite jumped with fright, and I, wishing to show my
-courage, said severely, ‘That is what does not concern you.’ Instead of
-showing the self-abasement which I thought my rebuke merited, he said
-amiably, still rubbing his brushes round and round: ‘But yes, it does;
-for I’m the man you are looking for. What will you have?’ I was so
-honestly discomfited that he kindly came to the rescue, and, overlooking
-my blunder, began to talk business. I have heard since that the mistake
-which I made had been so frequently made before that I suppose he
-scarcely noticed it.”</p>
-
-<p>As she ceased speaking, the readiness with which Martha took advantage
-of the pause to move toward the dining-room suddenly made her aware that
-dinner must have been announced,&mdash;how long ago she could not tell,&mdash;and
-that her garrulous speech and gesticulation had prevented her from
-hearing it. Her back was toward the door; but how excited she must have
-been, and appeared, not to have been aware of the announcement! Her face
-flushed, and she bit her lip with vexation.</p>
-
-<p>Martha looked at her brother, supposing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124">{124}</a></span> that he would offer his arm to
-their guest. Instead of doing so, however, he merely stood aside and
-waited for the two ladies to go into the dining-room before him. In
-doing this, Sonia passed very near him; and with a feeling of defiance
-in her breast she looked straight at him.</p>
-
-<p>He did not meet her gaze, however; for his own eyes were gravely lowered
-and hid behind a pair of heavy lids, the curves and lashes of which were
-startlingly familiar to her.</p>
-
-<p>In the lull which the formalities of the moment occasioned, it was
-painfully borne in on Sonia that she had been too talkative. Her recent
-rapid speech smote annoyingly on her ears; and when she recalled the
-fact that she had done all the talking, and must have made an appearance
-of almost vulgar chattiness, she felt humiliated and indignant. Was she
-exposing her inward excitement to this quiet man, who was now giving
-some low-toned instructions to the butler with a self-possession which
-she suddenly envied? Feeling hurt and angry, she fell into utter
-silence.</p>
-
-<p>A constraint had fallen upon the party which was even more marked than
-that which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125">{125}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_17" id="fig_17"></a>
-<img src="images/i_124.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“SONIA PASSED VERY NEAR HIM.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">usually characterizes the first moments at a formal table. Sonia felt
-that she would bite her tongue in two before she would speak again, and
-Martha had a helpless sense that things were somehow going wrong. It was
-Harold who broke the silence.</p>
-
-<p>“Martha,” he said, “the princess will say, perhaps, what wine she
-prefers.”</p>
-
-<p>Sonia felt as if she hated him. He knew all her little aversions and
-preferences as well as she knew them herself, and had ordered her
-dinners and wines times out of number. How could he pretend that he had
-never seen her before, with so much success as almost to impose upon
-herself? Was it really a dream? Which was the dream, the past or the
-present? How could he seem to be so indifferent, unless he really felt
-so? Perhaps he was. That might be the simple explanation of what seemed
-mysterious.</p>
-
-<p>As these thoughts hurried through her mind while she made a pretense of
-eating her soup, it suddenly occurred to her that her present complete
-silence might look as odd as her former garrulousness. Harold, while
-eating his dinner with apparent relish, was doing all the talking now,
-but with how different a manner<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126">{126}</a></span> from hers! How quiet he was, and what
-well-bred pauses interspersed his talk, and how agreeably he deferred to
-Martha and herself, and brought them into it! She had come to this
-dinner with the proudest confidence of being able to conform the
-conditions about her absolutely to her will, and yet, in spite of
-herself, she seemed to be sinking deeper and deeper every moment into
-the slough of regret and self-reproach which she had come here to get
-out of.</p>
-
-<p>As the meal proceeded, her self-dissatisfaction increased, and
-presently, with a feeling almost of panic, she realized that her conduct
-must be so peculiar as to cause surprise to Martha, if not to her
-brother. What interpretation would be put upon the sudden dumbness that
-possessed her? A very obvious one occurred to her, which it filled her
-with anger to think of, and she felt she must talk, must recover
-herself, must do away with the impression of her present stupidity.</p>
-
-<p>Martha, groping about for an agreeable topic, had mentioned the young
-bridal couple, and a telegram which she had just received from them, and
-that led her to some remarks about the wedding.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127">{127}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, it was a beautiful wedding&mdash;I was there!” said Sonia, in a
-breathless endeavor to come naturally into the talk.</p>
-
-<p>As she spoke she met Harold’s eyes, and thought that she discovered just
-a shade of surprise in them. He only bowed, however, in assent to her
-rather demonstrative expression of praise. Sonia felt at once that her
-attendance at any wedding, particularly that one, was a thing that
-grated on him. His presence there was, of course, a necessity; but the
-odious taste of her going, out of pure curiosity, as it would appear to
-him, to see this marriage, must add one more item to the evidence which
-was rolling up against her. She was experiencing what was new to her&mdash;a
-sensation of total inadequacy to the social demands of her surroundings.</p>
-
-<p>“Harold, do you think you can possibly stay for the opening of the
-Salon?” said Martha, presently, in another effort to make the
-conversation go. This was a topic which she thought Sonia should be
-interested in. Apparently she was right.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m going to exhibit a picture,” said Sonia, quickly.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia had thought only of recovering her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128">{128}</a></span>self by talking naturally, and
-this speech, as well as the last one, she regretted bitterly the moment
-she had uttered it. Not only did it seem in bad taste to speak of her
-exhibiting, when Martha was so far removed from such an honor, but it
-might also make the impression that she thought that the fact might be
-an inducement for him to stay for the Salon. It was maddening to have
-him look at her again with polite interest, and express his
-congratulations upon a fact of which she now felt heartily ashamed. How
-he must despise her! What should she do?</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder,” said Martha, at this point, in her clear, low voice, “if
-Harold has ever seen that striking picture that hangs in your room,
-Sonia. It is Watts’s ‘Hope,’ Harold. Do you know it?”</p>
-
-<p>Harold answered that he did not, and Sonia’s sense of helpless misery
-increased as she perceived that Martha was going to describe it. She bit
-her tongue to keep from crying out as Martha proceeded to give the
-following description:</p>
-
-<p>“It is a woman’s figure lying on the globe in an attitude of fatigue and
-dejection. The scantily draped form is beautiful, but not
-youth<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129">{129}</a></span>ful-looking, and the face, partly concealed by a bandage over the
-eyes, is also beautiful, but lined with care and sorrow. In her hands
-she holds an old lyre with every string broken except one. This one
-string, frayed and worn and lax, she is striking with her thin, weak
-fingers, and she is bending her dulled ears to try to catch the note.
-When Sonia first showed it to me, and said that it was one of her
-favorite pictures, I did not understand it. We have all been taught at
-Etienne’s such a fine contempt for English art that I was disposed to
-treat it lightly. I soon saw, however, the wonderful, tragic meaning in
-the picture, and I quite long to see the original.”</p>
-
-<p>This was too much. Sonia felt that if anything else occurred to hold her
-up to contempt in this man’s eyes, she should give up, and burst into
-tears. Her courage was fast oozing to the last ebb; and with a feeling
-of actual desperation she looked involuntarily into the face of her
-opposite neighbor, and met his eyes fixed on her with a strong gaze that
-in an instant supported and calmed her. She did not quite read its
-meaning, but she felt that there was kindness for her in it, and that
-there was no contempt. A look from him had given her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130">{130}</a></span> courage many a
-time in the past, and it was availing now. She felt suddenly
-self-possessed and strong; but the remainder of the meal was a confused
-blur in her memory, and she was devoutly thankful when her maid came to
-fetch her home.</p>
-
-<p>Martha thought it a little strange that her brother did not go down to
-put their guest into her carriage; but she reflected that he was far
-more familiar with the rules of foreign society than she was, and she
-concluded that he must be acting in accordance with them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131">{131}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Martha</span> felt herself genuinely surprised, puzzled, and disappointed at
-the result of the meeting which she had worked so hard to bring about.
-Nothing could be more incontestably evident than that her brother and
-her friend had not proved sympathetic&mdash;did not “hit it off.” What was
-the reason? How could both of them be so perfectly congenial to her and
-still uncongenial to each other? It was a painful mystery, to which she
-tried in vain to find the key.</p>
-
-<p>Next morning Sonia did not come to the atelier at her usual time, and
-Martha painted on without her in pronounced despondency of spirit. When
-she had quite given the princess up, she looked around, and, to her
-delight, saw Sonia placing her easel, and preparing to go to work, a
-short distance off. She thought her friend looked a little pale and ill;
-but when she managed presently to catch her eye,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132">{132}</a></span> she received an
-affectionate smile from her, which gave her a certain amount of
-reassurance.</p>
-
-<p>When the interval for lunch came, and they went off together to the
-<i>crémerie</i>, Martha waited for her friend to introduce the subject so
-near to her heart, and was surprised when she led the talk in an
-entirely different direction.</p>
-
-<p>It had been much the same with Harold after their guest had left the
-evening before. Beyond a rather preoccupied and spiritless assent to all
-she had to say about the beauty of the princess, he had seemed more or
-less indifferent on the subject, and had plunged with zest into the
-discussion of other things. Martha could not altogether wonder at this,
-for she had never seen her adored friend appear to so little advantage.
-Her brother, however, had seemed to her charming, though not, of course,
-at his very best, and she expected that Sonia would at least say that he
-was handsome and agreeable. When it appeared that she was going to say
-nothing at all, Martha boldly took the initiative, and asked:</p>
-
-<p>“What do you think of Harold?”</p>
-
-<p>“Think of him? Oh, I think he’s very<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133">{133}</a></span> good-looking, though less like his
-sister than I could wish.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Sonia, don’t tease me! If I thought you meant that, I should give
-you up, both as an artist and a friend. But, really, did you like him or
-not?”</p>
-
-<p>“I could hardly say ‘not’ to that heartfelt appeal,” said Sonia,
-smiling; “and, indeed, I don’t feel inclined to. I liked him, of course.
-But, my dear, I told you only the truth when I said I was sick to death
-of men. Etienne is the solitary exception. I like him for the reason
-that he did say a decent word to me this morning, and I really believe
-he thinks I am beginning to daub with promise.”</p>
-
-<p>Martha saw that there was no hope, so with profound disappointment she
-gave up, and said no more.</p>
-
-<p>As for Sonia herself, never had she been in a state of such abject
-self-abasement. She had donned her gorgeous raiment and gone off to that
-dinner in exultant self-confidence, and had never doubted her ability to
-conform circumstances to her will, and to make exactly the impression
-upon Harold which she desired him to have. What, then, was the secret of
-her complete and humiliating failure? She asked her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134">{134}</a></span>self this question,
-and immediately tried to shut fast her ears to the answer which her
-heart gave. She had confidently believed, up to this hour of her life,
-that her woman’s pride was strong enough for any demands which she could
-possibly make upon it; but it had failed her. She had passed a sleepless
-night after that dinner, and it took tremendous effort to go to her work
-next morning. She did it only because she knew that if she did not the
-news of her absence would reach Harold, and she could not endure the
-thought of the motive to which he might attribute it. Perhaps the most
-poignant recollection which rankled in Sonia’s mind was the thought
-that, in her helplessness, she had made an appeal to him by that look
-which he had answered with such strength-giving kindness. It had enabled
-her to get through with the remaining time; but now, as she thought of
-it, she felt that he had taken it as an appeal of weakness which he had
-been strong and merciful enough to respond to.</p>
-
-<p>This thought, whenever it recurred, made her cheeks tingle.</p>
-
-<p>And what could she do to right herself? She dared not make any more
-self-confident plans,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135">{135}</a></span> only to have them end in fresh humiliation. She
-now felt afraid of seeing Harold, and it seemed to her that the utmost
-that was in her power was to be regular and faithful to her work, in the
-hope that the report of such a sensible course would reach his ears.</p>
-
-<p>Martha made a weak little effort to get her friend to come to her again,
-but to this she received such a faint response that she let the subject
-drop. All sorts of conjectures were busy in her mind to account for the
-present phenomena. She even wondered if she and her brother, with their
-American education and ideas, could have done anything which offered an
-affront to the state and dignity of their princess-guest. But this could
-hardly be. Sonia was as friendly and affectionate as ever, though she
-now seemed to wish to confine their intercourse to the limits of the
-atelier, and did not even ask her to come to her own apartments. So
-Martha was free to give up all her spare time to her brother, and they
-had numerous trips to the theater and opera; but somehow the <i>solitude à
-deux</i> with her beloved Harold had not the zest in it which she had
-counted on beforehand. He was certainly changed, this brother of hers.
-He had grown<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136">{136}</a></span> more serious, and was given to long silences. She even
-thought that it was an effort to him to be so much in her society, and
-that he would perhaps prefer to be alone. This was a hard blow to
-Martha, but she bore it without making a sign, and was glad of the
-excuse which her work gave her to be much away from him. He also had
-important business in Paris, and often worked for many hours at a time,
-which, as Martha told herself, accounted for his rather careworn
-expression. She even thought he was getting thin, and begged him not to
-stay on because of her, as she would far rather give up her lessons and
-join her mother than be a trouble and injury to him. This, however, he
-would not listen to, and he even declared it his intention to stay in
-Paris until after the opening of the Salon, now only a week or so off.</p>
-
-<p>Day after day went by, and although Sonia and Martha were together at
-least one half of their conscious time, they seemed to have in some way
-gone backward instead of forward in their intimacy. They still lunched
-together daily, and had ample opportunity for talk; but there seemed now
-a dearth of topics such as they had never been aware of before, and a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137">{137}</a></span>
-sense of distance had arisen which made it hard for Martha to realize
-the familiarity and nearness which had marked their former intercourse.</p>
-
-<p>One afternoon, when the work had been going more than usually well, and
-the model had been more than usually interesting, Sonia and Martha,
-their easels side by side, had lingered in the atelier after every one
-else had gone. It was very agreeable to be able to paint and talk
-together, and the princess, whose carriage had been announced some time
-before, gladly agreed to wait with Martha until hers should arrive.</p>
-
-<p>While they were talking, a knock was heard at the door, and as all rules
-were relaxed at this hour, both women called out, “<i>Entrez!</i>”</p>
-
-<p>The door was opened, and around the corner of the old sail-cloth screen
-the tall figure of Harold appeared. The day was raw and chilly, and he
-wore a fur-lined coat with its large fur collar drawn close around his
-throat, and carried his high hat and his stick in his hand.</p>
-
-<p>At sight of him Martha uttered a little exclamation of pleasure, and
-gaily called to him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138">{138}</a></span> to come on. Sonia, in spite of the jerk at her
-heart-strings and the rush of blood through all her veins, felt, taken
-unprepared as she was, a sudden sense of strength and self-possession.
-Her color deepened, and by a swift motion she drew herself erect; and as
-she stood there in her old green skirt and red silk blouse, she looked
-so workman-like and charming that, as Martha drew her brother forward
-toward their easels, her heart quite glowed with pride in both her dear
-companions. She always adored Harold in that coat, and Sonia in that
-dress, and her sensitive organism seemed to be receiving impressions of
-pleasure from the minds of each. Harold stood still, a little distance
-off, and bowed, with a look that expressed some hesitation or
-uncertainty. Looking past his sister and at her friend, he said:</p>
-
-<p>“Do you permit me to look at your work?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if you care to,” said Sonia in a light and natural tone. “It’s a
-mere daub of a study. One goes through a great deal of discouragement in
-a place like this, and a great deal of one’s time is spent in acquiring
-a knowledge of one’s ignorance. After that is quite mastered, things get
-easier. I think I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139">{139}</a></span> may say that I have graduated in that branch of
-study, and am now ready to go on to the more advanced ones.”</p>
-
-<p>Harold stood still, and looked at her picture. She was thinking how
-natural it would be to ask him if he thought she had improved. He was
-thinking how natural it would be to tell her that she had. Martha was
-thinking how beautiful and full of charm they both were, and almost
-wishing that the atelier could be filled with students to look at such
-models.</p>
-
-<p>It occurred to her now that Harold remained silent unnecessarily long,
-and she was afraid that he did not appreciate her friend’s work; so she
-herself began to speak in voluble praise of it.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia felt a strong impulse to check her, and to explain to her that he
-was always silent when he really liked a thing exceedingly, and that she
-therefore felt delighted that he said nothing.</p>
-
-<p>Harold, however, forced himself to utter a few words of praise that
-sounded very stiff and conventional, and a sort of bewildered look,
-which Martha could not understand, came into his eyes. Sonia understood
-it by its reflec<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140">{140}</a></span>tion in her own heart. She felt as if she were in some
-strange, confusing dream, where the conditions around her were sad and
-constrained, and yet which she felt she must hold on to and keep
-conscious of, lest they should vanish and leave her utterly
-empty-hearted, estranged, and desolate. While Martha exhibited her own
-work, and proceeded to pick it to pieces in imitation of what Etienne
-would say to-morrow, the man and woman standing behind her, so near that
-they almost touched, were feeling, from this proximity, a force that
-went to the very deeps of both their natures. Hardness, resentment,
-wounded pride, regret&mdash;all these were parts of this force in each; but
-there was in it, too, something stronger than any of them, something
-that warned Sonia that she had better not trust herself, at the same
-moment that Harold turned abruptly away, and said that he had an
-engagement, and could not wait longer. He explained in a hurried,
-confused speech, out of which it was hard to get any intelligent
-meaning, that he had forgotten Martha’s need of the carriage, and had
-kept it waiting somewhere for him, which was his excuse for coming to
-the atelier to see if she had waited or was gone.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141">{141}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Martha saw by his manner that something was wrong, and made haste to put
-up her brushes, and follow him into the cloak-room, insisting that Sonia
-should come also, as she objected to leaving her there alone.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia obediently did as she was told, but she felt as if she were
-stumbling along half blindly, and had not the will-power to object or
-protest.</p>
-
-<p>She put on her hat, and was reaching for her heavy cloak, when a strong,
-brown hand, specked with two small dark moles just below the thumb, took
-it down from the peg, and folded it around her.</p>
-
-<p>As she reached to draw to the collar, her hand touched his. If the sight
-of that hand had been familiar to her, what was its touch? She felt
-herself trembling, and her quick breaths almost suffocated her. She had
-just power to control herself until she was in her carriage, and alone.
-Then, falling back upon the cushions, her eyes closed, and she passed
-into a state of semi-consciousness.</p>
-
-<p>She did not really faint, for she was all the time aware that the
-necessity for self-control was for the moment gone, and that she could
-rest, and cease to fight.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142">{142}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Long before the carriage stopped at her own door she had recovered, and
-realized it all. She knew that, miserable as the last two years had
-been, she had gradually been gaining strength, and recovering her power
-for the struggle of life. She might have gone on, and met the future
-bravely, if she had never seen this man again. Not now, however&mdash;not
-after she had heard his voice, and met his eyes, and touched his hand.
-This encounter had deprived her of her strength so absolutely that she
-longed only for the safety to be found in flight.</p>
-
-<p>But how would that sudden flight appear to him? That was the question.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143">{143}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIII" id="XIII"></a>XIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Sonia</span> found herself, after that meeting, in a state of helpless
-irresolution. She could take no action. She could not even make plans.
-She could only drift. There was only one solace&mdash;work; and she was now
-generally the last person at the atelier, staying there until the light
-failed. She had got over all her timidity about being there after the
-others. The old concierge was apt to put her head in now and then, to
-nod to her, and give her a sense of protection; and sometimes she would
-come in and chat with her, while she was doing such sketchy sort of
-tidying up as an atelier admits of.</p>
-
-<p>A few days had gone by without her having seen or heard of Harold.
-Martha seemed to divine that the princess wanted to talk only of her
-work and her atelier interests, and had tacitly adapted herself to her
-friend. They often worked together now, after regular hours,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144">{144}</a></span> but Martha
-generally found it necessary to go before her friend was ready.</p>
-
-<p>One afternoon Martha had left rather earlier than usual, in order to
-keep an appointment with her brother, and Sonia was at work all alone,
-save for the companionship of her little terrier Inkling&mdash;a tiny,
-jet-black creature that wore a collar of little silver bells, which,
-Sonia had amused Martha by saying, had caused some one to give him the
-name of “Tinkling Inkling.” She did not often bring her pet to the
-atelier, for fear he might be troublesome. This afternoon, however, she
-knew that Etienne would not be there; and when the little fellow,
-palpitating with eagerness, had looked at her beseechingly from the seat
-of the carriage where she had just shut him in, she had suddenly snapped
-her fingers and twisted her lips into a sound of encouragement, and he
-had leaped out of the carriage window, and followed her with an air of
-perfect understanding that this unusual privilege made a demand on him
-to be on his best behavior.</p>
-
-<p>He had been propriety itself all the afternoon, and Sonia had seen and
-appreciated his heroic self-control in not barking at the model, whom he
-had looked at with inveterate disap<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145">{145}</a></span>proval, only expressed by one little
-whispered growl. The class of society to which the model belonged were
-Inkling’s natural enemies; and whether, in spite of nudeness, he
-recognized this man as a member of that class, or whether the nudeness
-itself outraged his sense of propriety, certain it was that, during all
-the hours in which his mistress was painting, Inkling lay at her feet,
-with his eyes fixed unwinkingly upon his enemy, ready to take advantage
-of the first excuse to fly at him.</p>
-
-<p>No such occasion had arisen, however; and now the model was gone, and
-Inkling, off duty at last, was enjoying the reaction of a sound nap at
-his mistress’s feet.</p>
-
-<p>The room was so profoundly still that Sonia was startled by a rap at the
-door, gently though it was given. Even Inkling did not wake at it. She
-looked up from her easel, expecting to see her footman come to announce
-the carriage, or some workman delivering supplies for the atelier, and
-saw, instead, Harold Keene standing only a few feet from her. She knew
-that the swing-door had closed behind him, and that they were alone
-together. Her heart shook, and for a moment she could not speak. He came
-forward a little, and said in French:<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146">{146}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I beg your pardon, princess. I came for my sister to fill an
-engagement. Is she not here?”</p>
-
-<p>“She has just gone,” answered Sonia, also in French. “She expected to
-meet you at the apartment.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have just been there. Not finding her, I came on here. I suppose I
-passed her on the way.”</p>
-
-<p>Inkling had opened his eyes at the sound of voices, but, seeing that the
-model-throne was empty and his enemy gone, he had not troubled himself
-further. As Harold ceased speaking, a look of sudden interest came over
-the dog, and he got up, his little bells a-tinkle, and trotted across to
-where Harold stood.</p>
-
-<p>No sooner had he looked at him than he uttered a gruff bark of surprise,
-and no sooner had he snuffed once at the legs of his trousers than he
-grew frantic with excitement. He barked and yelped, and jumped up on him
-with such evidences of wild delight that no man with a kind heart in his
-bosom could have refused some recognition of such a welcome.</p>
-
-<p>Harold stooped and patted him, speaking to him in English.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147">{147}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Somehow, to have him treat a dog like that, and to address her in cold
-formality, in a foreign language, by a pompous title which did not
-belong to her, seemed to Sonia wilfully cruel.</p>
-
-<p>Inkling, still frantic with delight, left Harold, and rushed over to
-her, yelping and barking, and shaking his tail violently, looking up in
-her face with eloquent insistency. Then he ran back to Harold, and again
-back to her, with fluttering agitation.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia’s spirit did not falter, however, and her voice was firm and
-steady as she said in English:</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you speak to Inkling in English, and to me in French?”</p>
-
-<p>“Because Inkling and I are old friends, who have a common language,
-while the Princess Mannernorff is a stranger and a foreigner.”</p>
-
-<p>“It seems very childish to keep up that farce.”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought it was your wish.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you despise me, probably, for the deception I have practised in
-passing myself off for the Princess Mannernorff! I did not do it
-deliberately,” she said, with an almost childlike air of contrition and
-confession. “It has<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148">{148}</a></span> hurt me all along to be deceiving Martha; but some
-one told her I was a Russian princess, and as my mother had been one
-before her marriage, and my aunt, with whom I live, is the Princess
-Mannernorff, I let the false impression remain, and even took advantage
-of it. It was wrong, I know; but I did want to hold on to Martha’s
-friendship a little longer. However,” she said, her face and voice
-hardening, “it is simply a question of time; and a few weeks sooner or
-later, what does it matter?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why is it a question of time?” said Harold. “Why should you not keep
-that friendship always, if you care for it? Martha shall know nothing
-from me.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a moment’s silence. Then Sonia said:</p>
-
-<p>“I thought it possible that you might disapprove of our friendship.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why should I? It is a thing absolutely between Martha and yourself.”</p>
-
-<p>“She would cast me off immediately if she knew the truth, and any moment
-an accident may reveal it to her.”</p>
-
-<p>“Such an accident is most unlikely. It could, as things are now, come
-about only through me, and I shall be on my guard.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149">{149}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>How confident and strong he was! It roused all the pride in her. The
-sense of weakness which had overcome her at their last meeting, and
-which for a moment had threatened her in this one, was utterly gone.</p>
-
-<p>“Besides,” went on Harold, quickly, “I believe you are wholly wrong in
-thinking that she would give you up if, by chance, she should discover
-what you have so carefully guarded from her. I see no reason why she
-should.”</p>
-
-<p>He had spoken in English, since she had criticized his using French, and
-Inkling seemed at least partly satisfied, as he stood midway between the
-two, with his front legs wide apart, as if to keep his body firm, while
-his tail wriggled wildly, and his head turned from one to the other with
-a quickness which was enough to make him dizzy. He was alertly aware of
-them, but they had both forgotten him, in the keen absorption in each
-other which underlay their outward composure.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you, then, told her nothing?” said Sonia, in answer to his last
-words.</p>
-
-<p>“Only the simple fact.”</p>
-
-<p>“What fact?” she said, looking him in the face with a certain hardness
-and defiance.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150">{150}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“That the woman whom I had loved no longer loved me; that she had
-repudiated my name and every connection with me, and had asked for a
-divorce, which I was taking all possible steps to give her as soon as it
-could be done.”</p>
-
-<p>“And do you think that Martha, feeling as she does, would continue the
-acquaintance of a woman who had cast off her brother with no stronger
-reason than that?”</p>
-
-<p>“It was sufficient for me. There could not be a stronger reason for
-divorce than absence of love on either side.”</p>
-
-<p>“The world does not agree with you,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yet I fancy Martha would. If it came to remarriage on either side, her
-verdict would perhaps be condemnation; but I think she would consider
-separation a higher thing than a loveless marriage.”</p>
-
-<p>Somehow, there was a spirit in these words that touched her heart. Her
-voice, for the first time, was a little unsteady as she said:</p>
-
-<p>“You do believe that, at least! You do feel that I could never think of
-another marriage!”</p>
-
-<p>“I have always felt it. Indeed, I may say<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151">{151}</a></span> I have known it. I know that
-you see the inevitableness of all this as clearly as I do. I have often
-wished, for your sake, that I had never seen you, to put this blight
-upon your life.”</p>
-
-<p>“And have not I also blighted yours? Do you suppose that I never think
-of that?”</p>
-
-<p>“It need not trouble you, if you do. In my case there was a
-compensation, and a sufficient one. In your case there is none.”</p>
-
-<p>She knew what he meant; that his love for her, and that happy month of
-marriage, had been enough to pay him for having afterward lost her; and
-she knew that he held the fact that she had never really loved him to
-have barred her from any compensation at all. Why did she so resent his
-assuming this? Had she not told him, in language of such emphatic
-decision that it rang even now in her ears, that she had found out that
-she had made a great mistake, and that she had never loved him? He had
-simply taken her at her word.</p>
-
-<p>She wilfully ignored the true meaning of his last words, as she went on:</p>
-
-<p>“It is a mistake to think that my life has no compensations. My work,
-whether it ever<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152">{152}</a></span> amounts to anything or not, is a great compensation.
-The friendship of Martha is another. You are very good to wish not to
-take that from me; but the present sham conditions cannot be kept up
-after we separate. Fortune has favored us almost miraculously as it is.
-She heard that there was a Russian princess studying here, and some one
-mistakenly pointed me out for her. I had already seen her name on her
-canvases, and knowing that your mother and sisters were in Paris, of
-course I knew exactly who she was. Independent of this, her face and
-manner had strongly attracted me, so I saw no reason why we might not be
-friends, provided I could keep from her who I was. As soon as I saw that
-she believed me to be the princess, the fact that my aunt was a Russian
-and had Russian servants opened the way to my carrying on the idea; and
-so far there has been no trouble. My little Russian name for Sophia
-helped me, too. If she had known me as Sophia or Sophie, she would
-probably have recoiled from me, even if she had had no suspicion as to
-my identity.”</p>
-
-<p>“I beg you not to have that thought,” said Harold. “If the time ever
-comes when the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153">{153}</a></span> truth must be declared to Martha, let me be the one to
-tell her; and I promise you there shall be no recoil&mdash;no lessening of
-her friendship for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you,” said Sonia, coldly. “You were always a generous man.”</p>
-
-<p>Her tone smote discordantly upon Harold. It seemed a sort of compulsory
-tribute to him, which he had no fancy for from her.</p>
-
-<p>“I am thinking of Martha, too,” he said. “She is very lonely in her
-life, and rarely goes out to any one, in spite of her ardent nature.
-This friendship with you is very valuable to her, and I am anxious that
-nothing shall disturb it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you for correcting me,” returned the other, quickly; “though I
-did not really suppose that it was for my sake that you were willing to
-take so much trouble.”</p>
-
-<p>She knew that this speech was silly, petulant, and unworthy of her, but
-she wished him to understand that she asked and expected nothing of him.
-He could not be so cool and steady during this interview unless he had
-ceased to care for her. She quite realized that he had, and she wished
-him to know that she accepted it as a matter of course.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154">{154}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Inkling, meantime, had grown very uneasy. He felt that things were not
-going well, and he now began to show symptoms of distress, instead of
-the wild delight of the moment before. He ran whimpering from one to the
-other; and when they took no notice of him, he sprang upon the lap of
-his mistress, and, uttering the most expressive plaints and beseechings,
-tried to lick her face. Sonia, in a fit of irritation very
-characteristic of her, gave him a hard little slap, which sent him out
-of her lap, whining, and running to Harold for pity. He was not really
-hurt; and she felt cross with the clever little brute for posing as a
-victim so successfully.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t touch him!” she cried imperatively to Harold. “He’s only
-pretending to get your pity. You sha’n’t pat him or speak to him. If you
-do, I’ll be very angry.”</p>
-
-<p>The effect which these words had upon Harold would have surprised her,
-could she have known it. They were so like her, so absolutely herself,
-that they brought back the past with a rush; and it seemed such a hollow
-pretense to suppose that they were separated, and compelled to be as
-strangers to each other, that he came nearer to losing his head than he
-had done yet.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155">{155}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Ignoring Inkling’s fawnings and plaints, he said suddenly:</p>
-
-<p>“I am forgetting that Martha is waiting for me”; and then, changing his
-tone, and speaking in French, he added:</p>
-
-<p>“May I take you to your carriage, princess?”</p>
-
-<p>She answered him in French, as prompt and easy as himself. She thanked
-him for his offer, but declined it, saying that her servant would let
-her know when her carriage arrived. She added that she was not ready to
-leave the atelier yet, as she had lost time, which she must now make up.</p>
-
-<p>He bowed in silence, turned, and walked away. Inkling made a weak effort
-to follow him, but was scared into a sudden and humiliated return by the
-imperious command of his mistress. The little creature looked so
-ridiculously distressed, as he sat on his haunches near her, with his
-ears dropped and his tail nerveless and still beneath him, that Sonia’s
-irritation deepened as she put up her brushes and paints; and when she
-had washed her hands and was emptying the basin, she yielded to a sudden
-impulse and dashed half the meager supply of water over him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156">{156}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“There, you little idiot!” she said crossly. “That’s for your ridiculous
-nonsense in trying to make out that I care one pin for him, or anything
-about him. I’ll very soon convince <i>him</i> that I don’t; and if ever <i>you</i>
-dare to act in such a way again, I’ll sell you to the concierge on the
-spot!”</p>
-
-<p>Inkling gave every indication of a complete understanding of this
-threat, which had the effect of bringing him at once to a state of cowed
-dejection.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157">{157}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIV" id="XIV"></a>XIV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Sonia</span> said nothing to Martha of that meeting and conversation at the
-atelier; and as Martha made no reference to it, she understood that
-Harold also had been silent on the subject.</p>
-
-<p>A few days went by, which were fraught with agitation to the pupils at
-Etienne’s, as they were the last days of April, and two or three of the
-atelier students were to exhibit in the Salon. Sonia’s picture had been
-entered under a fictitious name, rather against her master’s wishes; but
-he had found it impossible to move her on this point. She had made both
-Etienne and Martha promise her most solemnly to tell no one which was
-her picture; and so she looked forward to the great exhibition with a
-pleasure which had no disturbing element in it.</p>
-
-<p>This pleasure had, however, grown paler recently, as her hold on all
-outward things,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158">{158}</a></span> slight as she had thought it before, had grown weaker.
-She had felt a real emotion when told that her picture had been admitted
-by the jury, and an intense anxiety as to how it would be hung. In
-contrast to this was the languid interest which she experienced when she
-found that it was on the line.</p>
-
-<p>Martha and she had gone to the <i>Vernissage</i> on the thirtieth of April,
-and had stood before the picture together; but it was Martha who had
-flushed and fluttered with delight at the remarks upon it which they had
-overheard. Sonia herself seemed to have lost interest in it.</p>
-
-<p>On the morning of the <i>Vernissage</i> Harold had gone to London, to be
-absent until the next day, when he was to take Martha to the formal
-opening of the Salon.</p>
-
-<p>There was, therefore, no reason why Sonia should not accept her friend’s
-invitation to dine and spend the evening. When she saw what pleasure her
-acceptance gave the girl, her heart suddenly smote her with the
-reflection that she did very little to reward such ardent love, and she
-impetuously offered to spend the night also, saying that she had not
-done such a thing since her school-days.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159">{159}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Martha was overjoyed; and when Sonia duly arrived, prepared to spend the
-night, the two women made a great effort to get the amount of enjoyment
-which they felt ought to be for each in their <i>tête-à-tête</i> dinner and
-evening together. Their talk, however, seemed rather desultory and
-unproductive, and both of them felt that their endeavors to return to
-their former attitude of free and natural mutual confidence were
-strangely unavailing.</p>
-
-<p>After a rather dull discussion of Paris apartment-houses, and their
-advantages and disadvantages, Martha proposed to show her guest over
-this one; and Sonia went with her into all the rooms, with a civil
-effort to seem interested, until she came to one on the threshold of
-which Martha said:</p>
-
-<p>“This is the girls’ room, which Harold has now. It is just next to
-mama’s, which is the one you have. The governess has a room on the other
-side of the salon, in order to protect me. They tell such frightful
-stories about the crimes and murders in these Paris apartments that I
-used to be quite timid, though I’ve got over it now.”</p>
-
-<p>Sonia, while she appeared to be listening to her companion, was in
-reality so inwardly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160">{160}</a></span> shaken by certain influences received in this room
-that she felt as if her mind were staggering. On the dressing-table just
-in front of her were several toilet articles in old German silver which
-it seemed to her that she had seen and touched but yesterday. A
-clothes-brush with fantastic decorations of women’s figures, entwined
-with fish and garlands of roses, had a large dent in it, of which she
-knew the whole history. She could even have told why one of the three
-bottles in the leather-case was without a stopper, and what had become
-of the smallest pair of scissors, the place of which in the
-dressing-case was empty. On a table near by was a leather portfolio with
-the letters “H. R. K.” on one corner in a silver monogram.</p>
-
-<p>While Martha moved about the room and talked, Sonia’s eyes searched
-eagerly among the familiar objects for certain others which she would
-have given the world to see. Her search was in vain, however. There was
-not one thing of his own in sight which had not been a possession of his
-bachelor days. This was quite evident, and of course was entirely as it
-should be.</p>
-
-<p>When they returned to the salon, Martha,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161">{161}</a></span> observing that her friend
-looked tired, proposed that they should go to bed early&mdash;an idea
-received with evident favor. They were quite safe in the protection of
-the man-servant, who had been brought with the family from America.
-Harold had given him orders to sleep for the night in the antechamber,
-and Martha had one of the maids in the room back of hers. When she asked
-her guest if she felt at all timid, and saw the smile of amused denial
-that answered her, she went with her to her room, lingered a few moments
-to see that all was comfortable about her, then kissed and embraced her
-friend, and said good night.</p>
-
-<p>Left alone, Sonia stood an instant silent in her place; then, with
-movements of swift decision, she locked the door by which Martha had
-gone out, and, crossing the room to another door, softly turned the
-handle. She had her bedroom candle in her hand, and as the door yielded
-and opened, she passed into the room beyond it, and stood still once
-more, as if possessed by that presence from out the past.</p>
-
-<p>The lights in this room had been put out, and all the doors and windows
-closed. She knew that she was safe in her solitude, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162">{162}</a></span> need no longer
-struggle with the feelings which crowded her heart.</p>
-
-<p>She went to the dressing-table, and took up the old clothes-brush, and
-put her lips to the dent which she herself had made there once, by using
-the brush as a hammer. Then silently dashing away the heavy tears that
-rolled from her eyes, she looked closely at the grotesque figures of
-women and fish, and recalled such amusing things which had been said
-about them that she began to laugh, even while more tears were
-gathering, and straining her throat with pain. The nervous little laugh
-died away as she pressed the brush again to her lips. Then she lifted,
-one by one, all the familiar objects that lay before her, and looked at
-them, while her tears fell like rain.</p>
-
-<p>Presently she took up the portfolio from the table near by, and turned
-over the thick sheets of blotting-paper within. She could see plainly
-the inverted and almost illegible, but characteristic, impression of a
-woman’s writing. In some places this was lost in very different
-characters, but in others it was distinctly recognizable. She walked to
-the dressing-table with it, and held it before the mirror, and read
-distinctly in one place the words, “Yours al<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163">{163}</a></span>ways, Sophie,” and in
-another, “Yours faithfully, Sophia Keene.” Her heart trembled. She had
-no idea to whom she had so signed herself, but she wondered passionately
-if Harold had ever tried this experiment, and seen those signatures from
-the faithless woman who had been his wife.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly she put the book back on the table, and fell on her knees
-before it, laying her face upon its pages, and sobbing upon them until
-they were saturated with her tears; for, underneath her own handwriting,
-she had seen, reflected in the glass, writing which seemed almost as
-familiar, in which she had deciphered the words, “Your loving husband.”</p>
-
-<p>She had destroyed every word of that handwriting which she had ever
-possessed, and thousands of times her heart had hungered to see it in
-these very words. It was upon this spot that her lips were laid now,
-while they whispered out, in inarticulate sobs and gasps, words of
-heartbroken pain.</p>
-
-<p>She had told him that she did not love him, and had demanded a divorce
-from him. She must never contradict those words, or try to undo that
-act. She knew that she was weak,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164">{164}</a></span> but she knew that she had courage
-enough to stand to this resolution. He should never know how, slowly at
-first, and afterward with increasing force and swiftness, the knowledge
-of her mistake had come to her. For a while she had fought it off with
-furious denial. She had argued and talked with herself, and recalled
-past feelings of resentment, anger, and desperate antagonism, to prove
-to herself that she had been right in vowing that she did not love him;
-but in the end nothing had availed. Long before their paths had met
-again she had known that she was wrong; that she had made a hideous
-mistake of her life; and that, with all the force, fire, energy, and
-passion of her heart, she loved the man whom she had repudiated. But,
-even with this knowledge, she might have borne it, she might have lived
-and died without making a sign, if only she had not seen him again!</p>
-
-<p>Now, however, that she had seen him, heard him, felt the atmosphere of
-his presence about her, felt his thoughts of her surrounding her, and
-felt through all her pulses his touch upon her hand, what was she to do?
-How was she to stumble on, and pretend to fight, when a mere look from
-his eyes made her sword-arm nerveless?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165">{165}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Oh, she <i>must</i> give way this once, she felt, and shed a few of those
-millions of pent-up tears! Now that she was here in the very room that
-he had slept in yesterday, and would come back to to-morrow, she must
-let the spirit of love and grief within her have its way. Perhaps some
-remnant of it might linger after she was gone, and speak to his heart
-from hers.</p>
-
-<p>As her mind formed this idea, she sprang to her feet. Was she losing
-control of herself? Was her mind weakening or deserting her? How had she
-so forgotten herself as to have this thought, which was in its nature a
-wish? She knew that in her proper senses she would choose to die a death
-of torture rather than that he should have one suspicion of her feeling
-for him. No, no! She passionately recanted that moment’s impulsive wish
-as she took her candle, and, more tranquil now, went over and stood by
-his bed.</p>
-
-<p>It was not swathed in a great cretonne cover, as French beds are apt to
-be, but was made in the American fashion, with smooth white coverlet and
-fair linen sheets. Still holding the candle in her hand, she sank on her
-knees beside this bed, and closed her eyes, and moved<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166">{166}</a></span> her lips in
-prayer. Her long hair was hanging in a thick mass down her back. The
-white gown that she wore was almost as plain as a religious habit, and
-she looked, with her taper burning in front of her, like a nun before a
-shrine.</p>
-
-<p>She felt a certain power of renunciation come into her, and a strength
-to do what right and duty demanded. She rose from her knees, and bent
-over the bed, and for a moment laid her cheek against the cool white
-pillow. Oh, might God be very good to him, she prayed! Might He make up
-to him for all the pain and grief and woe that she had caused him; and
-some time in heaven might he come to know how wholly and completely she
-had loved him!</p>
-
-<p>She felt a sense of inward calm and strength as she turned from the bed,
-crossed the room, and entered her own apartment, closing and locking the
-door behind her.</p>
-
-<p>This peace was on her still as she presently went to bed, and fell
-almost immediately into a dreamless sleep.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167">{167}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XV" id="XV"></a>XV</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Sonia</span> was awakened early by sounds in the room next her own, and as she
-opened her eyes with perfect recollection of all that had passed the
-night before, she wondered if it could possibly be that Harold had
-returned. It might be only the maid opening and airing the room; but
-whatever it was, she could not sleep again, and she began to devise a
-plan for getting away early, so that she might avoid the possibility of
-meeting Harold. She got out of bed, parted the curtains, and opened the
-casement of the low French window. The early sunshine had washed
-everything with its faint golden glow, and the little new-born leaves
-that covered the trees in the <i>place</i> with a foliage of feathery green,
-paler than ever in its transparence against the sun, made a delicate
-filmy screen, through which she looked down on an exquisite moving
-picture.</p>
-
-<p>The doors of the beautiful, great Madeleine<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168">{168}</a></span> were open wide, and through
-them was pouring a long white rivulet that seemed to have its source in
-the little covered doorway in the side of the basement of the great
-building, and flowed thence in an even stream around the corner, and up
-the great steps of the building, passing between its central pillars,
-and so into the interior of the church. This stream was composed of what
-seemed an unending number of little girls dressed for their first
-communion. They were all in spotless white, with thin, transparent veils
-reaching to the hems of their gowns, white wreaths upon their heads,
-white stockings, shoes, and gloves, and each of them carried a tall
-white taper, to be presently lighted in the church. Stationed like
-sentinels along the line were gray-clad, white-bonneted sisters of
-charity, who directed the children’s movements as they walked with an
-awed stateliness out of the little door, up to the corner and around it,
-and then through the gate and up the steps, and were lost to sight
-beyond the wide church-door.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia could see the very expressions of their faces as they would look
-up for direction to the sisters as they passed, lifting their meek and
-timid glances with an air of solemnity<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169">{169}</a></span> which in some instances
-struggled with a sense of pride in their unwonted paraphernalia.
-Somehow, the sight of so much ignorance, trust, and innocence, and the
-thought that each one of them possessed a woman’s heart, with all its
-capacity for suffering, for hoping, for loving, for regretting,
-absolutely overcame her. How ignorant they were of what lay before them!
-How fearlessly their little feet were entering upon the long journey of
-life, so blind to the pains and bitterness of its way! It seemed
-heartrendingly cruel to her, to think how they must suffer from the mere
-fact that each one of them was a woman-child. O God, that women had to
-suffer so!&mdash;that even love, the one delight, should bring in its wake
-such pain! She could see none of the joy ahead of these sweet children;
-she thought only of what her own heart suffered now&mdash;the regret, the
-longing, the unfathomable sadness, the blight, the disappointment, the
-despair! The passionate pain of her heart broke forth in violent sobbing
-as she stood between the parted curtains, fascinated by the lovely
-sight, but scarcely able to see it for her tears.</p>
-
-<p>“O God, have pity on them&mdash;have pity on them!” she sobbed aloud; and
-then, while her<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170">{170}</a></span> whole frame shook with her violent weeping, she
-suddenly became aware of the stealing on of a new influence. What was
-it? Nothing so definite as sight or sound, but something subtly powerful
-in its significance to her. It was the pungent odor of a certain kind of
-cigar which had once made part of the familiar atmosphere of her life.
-It dominated her now, as if by a spell. She was instantly calmed, and,
-as if by magic, swept back into the thrilling past. Then, suddenly,
-penetrating this familiar atmosphere, there came a familiar sound&mdash;no
-articulate utterance, but just a sound in the throat, which seemed
-somehow meant to challenge attention. She would have known that voice in
-the most distant and unlikely spot of earth; and now it became quite
-plain to her that Harold had returned, and was watching the scene
-opposite from his open window, scarcely a yard away.</p>
-
-<p>He must have heard her words and sobs! He must have understood them, he
-was so well practised in reading her heart. It had been an open book to
-him once, though now it must be forever locked and sealed.</p>
-
-<p>Her hands had fallen from the curtains, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171">{171}</a></span> she had moved backward.
-There had seemed to come into her strength and support from the mere
-sound of that voice. There was nothing new in this. Often, often had she
-felt it before. And once it had been in her power to summon this support
-at will, in any hour of grief or trial. That power was gone now, never
-to come again; but for this once this supreme and availing help had been
-afforded her. She felt within her the power to be strong, to collect
-herself, and to form and execute plans of getting away from this place
-of temptation and danger.</p>
-
-<p>She fell on her knees. Her soul uttered a prayer of mingled thanksgiving
-and entreaty. As she raised her eyes she could see through the slightly
-parted folds of the curtains the pointed arch that topped the Madeleine.
-Carved in enduring stone, that generations to come might see and gather
-comfort from it, was the gracious figure of Jesus, spreading out his
-arms of welcome to the poor Magdalen, who knelt in supplication at his
-feet. At his side was a glorious, great angel, who, with drawn sword,
-stood over the woman, and thrust back with his other hand the evil
-creatures who in vain besieged her.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172">{172}</a></span> On the right hand of Christ another
-angel, with wings at rest, held a great horn of triumph, and behind him
-were women crowned and garlanded, with little children clinging to them.
-Farther still was a woman on a bed of illness, over whom another angel
-of mercy had spread its wings as she came to Christ to have her body
-healed.</p>
-
-<p>The center of it all was the beneficent figure of the human Saviour; and
-Sonia, looking down from this immutable image carved in stone to the
-flowing, changing, passing stream of young human creatures beneath, felt
-calmed and comforted. So they could keep their childish faith, there was
-a refuge for them, and she saw them now without any prompting to tears.</p>
-
-<p>She got up from her knees, bathed her face, smoothed her hair before the
-mirror, and then, after darkening the room a little, rang for the maid,
-and asked for her coffee.</p>
-
-<p>By the time it came she was almost dressed, and she instructed the
-servants very carefully not to disturb her young mistress, but to call a
-cab for her at once,&mdash;as she found it necessary to go home early,&mdash;and
-to tell Martha, when the latter awoke, that she was very well,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173">{173}</a></span> but was
-obliged to be at home at a certain hour.</p>
-
-<p>Her plan worked perfectly, and on her way to the cab she saw no one
-except the American maid, who went down with her. In passing through the
-antechamber she noticed a man’s covert-coat, stick, and hat, together
-with some crushed newspapers, thrown on a sofa. But she had not needed
-this to convince her of the fact that Harold had returned, and had been
-in his room, watching, as she had watched, the stream of little girls
-beginning their celebration of the month of Mary by taking their first
-communion.</p>
-
-<p>The first of May being also what is known as “Labor Day,” it was a
-strange contrast to the unworldliness and other-worldliness of these
-little <i>religieuses</i> to see the alert military forces now beginning to
-fill the streets, in anticipation of possible insurrection and danger,
-of which there was strong menace that year.</p>
-
-<p>Gendarmes in groups of six and eight, and sometimes even more, dotted
-the streets in all directions, and the mounted guard was out in full
-force. Sonia, looking from her cab window, heard repeated orders given
-to small groups of citizens to disperse. Even two men<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174">{174}</a></span> were not
-permitted to stand and talk together, and she was conscious of a certain
-amusement at seeing two groups of gendarmes combine forces to separate
-these little knots of two and three. Occasionally there was some
-resistance, and she saw several arrests made, which frightened her. She
-felt lonely and unprotected, driving through the streets of Paris with
-an unknown cabman at that early hour, when there was even a possibility
-of such a horror as an insurrection of the French lower orders.</p>
-
-<p>It came over her with piercing power how Harold would once have felt
-about her being in such a position, and how strange, how inexplicable,
-how unnatural, it was that it could be nothing to him now&mdash;that, even if
-he knew it, he would feel bound to accept it passively; for nothing, she
-was certain, could induce him to exercise the semblance of a right over
-her.</p>
-
-<p>She got out of the cab at her own door, safe in body, but more excited
-and confused in mind than she had ever been in her life&mdash;and perhaps, in
-this moment, more wretched also.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175">{175}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVI" id="XVI"></a>XVI</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Harold’s</span> condition of mind and feeling on that morning of the first of
-May was so complicated and perplexed that he felt for the first time in
-his life utterly unable to see his way. He was accustomed to having
-things, no matter how difficult, look definite to him. He had not
-hesitated in deciding on his sudden marriage with Sophia Rutledge, nor
-had he felt the least hesitation as to his course a month later, when
-she demanded a divorce from him. His path had been clear and open before
-him, and he had taken it unflinchingly. He felt the same ability to do,
-and the same courage to endure, now, if he could only see his way. He
-knew himself too well to suppose that, after having been married to this
-woman, he could ever love another, and he had quite decided to accept
-his life and to put the thought of happiness out of it. In making this
-decision he had had the strongest<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176">{176}</a></span> possible conviction of the truth of
-his wife’s declaration that she did not love him, and it was this which
-had made submission to her decision the only possible course for him.
-She was such a strong and resolute woman that he had imagined her, after
-the stern ordeal of the first few months of separation, going resolutely
-on, with her life adjusted to its new conditions; and although he was
-certain that her marriage, separation, and the coming divorce would make
-too deep marks in her womanly consciousness for her ever to think of
-marrying again, he quite believed that she was the calm and self-poised
-woman for which he knew nature had intended her.</p>
-
-<p>It was therefore a great surprise to him, on meeting her again, to see
-such marked indications of indecision, nervousness, and lack of control.
-He felt that she often said and did what she had meant not to say and
-do, and he was aware that she was a prey to variableness, fluctuation,
-and caprice. What did it mean? This was the question which he set
-himself to consider with all the concentration of his mind. He did not
-know&mdash;what was the truth&mdash;that these new qualities in her existed only
-with regard to himself, and that to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177">{177}</a></span> her aunt, her acquaintances, her
-servants, and all who came in contact with her, she was more than ever
-decided, self-collected, and even self-willed. If he could have known
-that, it would have let in light upon a subject and situation which
-seemed to him impenetrably dark. Every time that he had seen her she had
-left upon his mind a different impression. Sometimes he wondered if she
-could be ill, to account for such a change; and sometimes he told
-himself that it was an unpardonable demand upon her nervous endurance
-for him to come into her presence. Still, when he reflected, he had
-never thrust himself upon her, and on the only occasion when their
-meeting had not been accidental, it had been her deliberate doing. What
-must he conclude from this?</p>
-
-<p>It would be conceit only which could make him think, after that, that
-she either feared or disliked to meet him. He certainly had no right to
-suppose that she sought or wished it. He must, therefore, conclude that
-she was quite indifferent to him, and wished him to accept that view of
-the case.</p>
-
-<p>He tried hard to do this, but there was something in her manner and in
-his own con<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178">{178}</a></span>sciousness which positively prevented his holding to this
-idea. It was not that she appeared to him to be unhappy, but she did
-seem disturbed, restless and fitful. After his interview with her in the
-atelier, he felt that she had so definitely conveyed to him her wishes
-in the case that now he had only to follow them and to keep out of her
-way, so far as it rested with him to do so.</p>
-
-<p>On this course he fully resolved; but her beauty, her voice, her
-movements, haunted him by day and night. He knew that he was as
-absolutely under her spell as he had ever been. He knew that a point
-might come when his self-control would be powerfully threatened, and
-then there would be nothing for it but to flee. He was not afraid of the
-consequences to himself which might lie in this betrayal of his past. He
-was thinking of her, and of the increased trouble which it would bring
-into her life if she should come to realize how he still loved her. This
-was a quite unnecessary trial for her, and one which he was resolved she
-should not have.</p>
-
-<p>He had not known of any plan of Martha’s for having her friend spend the
-night of his absence with her, so it took him completely<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179">{179}</a></span> by surprise
-when he returned at an earlier hour than he had expected, and, inquiring
-of the man servant if all was well, was told that the Princess
-Mannernorff had dined and spent the night with his sister. He
-ascertained what room she was occupying, and when the servant, who
-carried his bag, went into his own room ahead of him, he reproved the
-man rather severely for opening the window with such a noise. Then
-immediately he sent the servant away.</p>
-
-<p>He had seen, from below, the beginning of the little procession going
-into the Madeleine; and as he stood half unconsciously watching it,
-possessed by the thought that the woman who had once been his adored and
-adoring wife was asleep in the next room to him, he heard the window of
-that room open, and he knew that she was awake, and standing very near.
-He heard her draw the curtains back by the cords and rings above. He
-even heard the little effort in her breathing caused by the strong pull.
-Each of them, he knew, was looking at the same sight&mdash;the beautiful,
-moving panorama, seen through the flecks of sun-washed, young green
-leaves; but while she was thinking of those trustful and unconscious
-children, his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180">{180}</a></span> thoughts were wholly of her. His heart was filled with
-longings so intense and masterful as to crowd out everything else. Then,
-in a flash, his humor changed; for there came to him her stifled sobs,
-and her calls on God to pity them&mdash;those sweet, unknowing little ones,
-born to be suffering women. With his old swift comprehension of her, he
-knew why this sight had touched her so, and he realized what he had only
-dimly felt before, that she was a miserable woman, wearily walking a
-<i>via dolorosa</i>.</p>
-
-<p>He did not ask to know what it might be. He longed only to help and
-comfort her. He could not speak, but at least he could let her know that
-he was near; and then it was that he had made the sound which Sonia had
-heard.</p>
-
-<p>That sound was followed by silence. Was she perhaps indignant, he asked
-himself, that he should dare to make this demand upon her attention? She
-would have a right to be; for he could make no pretense that he had not
-deliberately intended to do this. Yet she was alone there, sad and
-troubled, and he was close at hand, with a heart that ached to comfort
-her. He could not have rested, feeling that she was unaware of his
-knowledge of her presence, and no matter what consequences to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181">{181}</a></span> himself
-the act might carry, he deliberately said to her in that sound: “I am
-here, and I know that you are there.”</p>
-
-<p>If she had made a sign in answer, he would have thanked God on his
-knees; but she had withdrawn from the window in silence, and he had felt
-only that she was gone.</p>
-
-<p>An hour later, when the servant brought his coffee and the morning
-papers, he brought also the information that the princess had gone off
-alone some time before in a cab.</p>
-
-<p>Harold felt, at hearing this, a perfect fury of anger and indignation.
-With the possibility of a riot in view, and the knowledge that ladies
-had been warned not to venture unprotected on the streets, it made his
-blood boil to think she&mdash;the delicate woman-spirit and woman-body that
-he knew so well&mdash;should have gone forth alone from under the very roof
-with him; and that even if he had known of it, he would have had no
-right to interfere. The legal right, of course, he had; but that fact
-only made it the more impossible for him to assert upon her any claim.
-Not all the laws that were ever made could have bound or loosed him so
-indomitably as did her wish and will. The fact that it was still within
-his power to assert a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182">{182}</a></span> legal claim upon her constituted in itself the
-strongest possible demand upon a man of his nature to leave her as free
-as air from any bondage or emancipation which could exist by any right
-but that of love. If she had loved him, he would have asserted his power
-and right to control and influence her. As she did not love him, there
-was no creature living who was so free from him as she&mdash;this woman whom
-once he had held in as binding fetters as ever love had forged.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183">{183}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVII" id="XVII"></a>XVII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">On</span> reaching home, Sonia went immediately to her room, and sent word to
-her aunt that she was feeling ill, and desired not to be disturbed. Her
-maid brought her a message of condolence in reply, and she knew that she
-was now safe in her solitude for the remainder of the day.</p>
-
-<p>She undressed quickly, threw on a loose dressing-gown, unfastened the
-thick coil of her hair, and then, telling her maid not to come to the
-room until she should ring, she threw herself at full length on the
-lounge, and lay there with her eyes closed, profoundly still. She had
-caused the blinds to be shut and the curtains drawn. The beautiful
-spring sunshine flooded everything without, but about her all was gloom
-and darkness. She could hear the whir of innumerable wheels and the
-click of horses’ feet on the smooth pavement outside, and she knew that
-the streets were alive and abloom with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184">{184}</a></span> smartly dressed men and women in
-open carriages, driving between the long lines of flowering
-horse-chestnuts down the beautiful Champs Elysées to the Palais de
-l’Industrie.</p>
-
-<p>Long ago she had ordered a charming costume for this occasion, selected
-with much care and thought; and it had come home more than a realization
-of her expectations. She had fancied that she would have pleasure in
-joining a party of friends, and perhaps lingering about the neighborhood
-of her own picture to hear any comments that might be made upon it. She
-had not allowed herself to hope that it would be on the line; but there
-it was this moment, as she knew; and the pretty gown and bonnet and
-parasol, all so painstakingly selected, were neatly put away, and she
-was lying nerveless in this lonely room.</p>
-
-<p>She lay on her back, with her arms, from which the sleeves fell, thrown
-over her head, and her face turned to one side, so that her cheek rested
-against the smooth flesh of one inner arm. The folds of her scant gown
-lay thin and pliant over her long, slim figure, and the pointed toes of
-her little gray <i>mules</i> showed at the end of the lounge where her feet
-were crossed one over the other. To-day<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185">{185}</a></span> she had given up the long, long
-struggle for self-control and strength. She abandoned herself absolutely
-to the dark, unbroken grief which she felt to be her only natural and
-honest life. She did not even long for happiness to-day: she longed only
-for the peace of death&mdash;the nothingness of the grave. Oh, to be taken
-so, without the need to stir or move, and lowered into a cool, deep,
-still grave,&mdash;breath, consciousness, hope, regret, memory,
-individuality, all, all gone,&mdash;and earth and grass and flowers over her!
-That instinct of weak self-pity, to which the strongest of us yield now
-and then, overcame the lethargy of her mood, and the springs of tears
-were touched. Two large drops rose and forced their way between her
-close-shut lids.</p>
-
-<p>“O, what have I done, what have I done, to have to suffer so?” she
-whispered&mdash;“to have to give up all, all joy, and take only pain and
-misery and regret for all my life! It was only a mistake. It was no sin
-or crime that I committed when I sent him away, and said that I did not
-love him. It was only an awful, fatal, terrible mistake. I have feared
-so for a long, long time; but, oh! I know it now! I want him back&mdash;I
-want<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186">{186}</a></span> him back! I want his love, and his patience, and his care. I want
-him for my friend, and my protector, and my husband. And though I want
-him so, I am farther away from him than if I had never seen him. When
-this hideous divorce is got, and our beautiful marriage has been undone,
-any other woman in the world might hope to win his love. I shall be the
-one free woman on earth to whom that hope would be shame and outrage and
-humiliation. O my God, help me, help me! Show me what to do. Give me
-back at least my pride, that I may not have to suffer his contempt. O
-God Almighty, if his love for me is quite, quite dead, in mercy let my
-love for him die too! Oh, no&mdash;no&mdash;no! My God, I take it back! I do not
-ask it. I do not want to stop this agony of pain that comes from loving
-him. O God of pity and compassion, give me now a little help, and show
-me what to do. Kill me now&mdash;strike me dead, O God&mdash;rather than let me do
-anything to cause him to despise me!”</p>
-
-<p>She buried her face in her hands, and went on, speaking between her
-fingers in thick, sobbing whispers.</p>
-
-<p>“God did not hold me back before from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187">{187}</a></span> cutting my own throat,” she said;
-“and yet I prayed to him with all my soul, as I am praying now! Perhaps
-I was too self-willed, and wanted my own way too much, and so he would
-not hear me. Oh, I <i>want</i> to do his will&mdash;I want to let him choose for
-me; but, oh, far more than that I want my love, my darling, my husband!
-We have been joined together by God, and he has not put us asunder, nor
-has man put us asunder. Neither did he do it! It was I,&mdash;I myself,&mdash;out
-of my weak selfishness and self-will, because I wanted to make
-everything conform to me&mdash;because I wished him to love me by a rule and
-ideal of my own&mdash;to treat me according to my fancy&mdash;to make every
-sacrifice of himself and his nature and thoughts and feelings to me, and
-I was willing to consider him in nothing! But oh, my God, I have been
-shown my wickedness and selfishness! The scorching light of truth has
-come, and now I see it all. If I could have him back! If I could wipe
-out the past, and be once more in my wedding-dress and veil, and give
-him my vows again, O God, thou knowest whether I could keep them now or
-not! It cannot be, it cannot be! He pities me and would be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188">{188}</a></span> kind to me,
-but he does not love me any longer. O God Almighty,” she cried aloud,
-writhing her body from the lounge, and getting on her knees, with her
-hands and her face lifted upward, “take me and work in me, and give
-light to my blinded eyes! Give me the strength to do what is right&mdash;to
-give him up&mdash;to stop thinking of him! I cannot bear this tearing
-struggle any more. I can fight no longer. I beg thee only, only for
-this&mdash;that I may somehow grope and stumble through this time without the
-loss of the one thing that is left to me&mdash;my woman’s pride!”</p>
-
-<p>She fell forward, with her face buried in the lounge, and great sobs
-shaking her body. Gradually these subsided; but long after they had
-ceased she knelt there with her face concealed, alone in the silence and
-darkness.</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">At</span> the same moment, only a little distance off, the sunlight was pouring
-down in floods upon the palms, the stuffs, the pictures, the statues,
-and the crowd of fashionable men and women who thronged the great
-exhibition of the spring Salon.</p>
-
-<p>Voices of men and women rose melodiously, whether in praise or blame.
-Lorgnettes<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189">{189}</a></span> were raised, hands clasped in delight, and shoulders
-shrugged in disapproval. Fans were waved in delicate, gloved hands,
-whose every movement stirred the air in waves of sweet perfume from
-flowers, or delicate odors wafted from women’s gowns. Smartly dressed
-men and women stood about in groups, and now and then a hum arose as
-some great man, decorated with orders, and smiling with confident good
-humor, passed along, bowing to right and left, and receiving
-compliments&mdash;too familiar to be anything but gently stimulating&mdash;on the
-beauty of his latest pictures.</p>
-
-<p>There were groups, larger or smaller, before many of the canvases; and
-in one of these groups, standing a little apart from the rest, were
-Harold and Martha Keene.</p>
-
-<p>The picture before which they had paused was a rather small canvas on
-which was painted a woman leaning with her elbows on a table, and her
-chin resting in her hands, which met at the wrists, and then closed upon
-the cheeks at either side. The little table before her was perfectly
-bare. There was a striking absence of detail. The one thing which was
-accentuated by careful and distinct painting was a plain gold ring on
-the third<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190">{190}</a></span> finger of the left hand. The loose drapery which wrapped the
-shoulders, leaving bare the throat and arms, was simply blocked in with
-creamy white paint and heavy shadows. The hair was gathered in a thick
-coil at the top of the head. There was beauty in its coloring, and merit
-also in the flesh-tints of the face and throat; but the power of the
-picture was in the eyes, which looked directly at one. The brows above
-them were smooth, definite, and uncontracted. The lines of the face were
-youthful and round. The lips were firm and self-controlled. All the
-expression was left to the eyes, which, large, honest, courageous, and
-truthful, met those of the gazer, and gave their message&mdash;the message of
-despair.</p>
-
-<p>“It is called in the catalogue simply ‘A Study,’<span class="lftspc">”</span> said a man standing
-close to Harold Keene; “and certainly there is no need to name it. The
-artist’s name is given as ‘G. Larrien.’ Does any one happen to know it?”</p>
-
-<p>No one did, and the group of people soon passed on; but Harold stayed
-and looked. Martha, who stood at his elbow, was palpitating with
-excitement. She knew the picture and the artist, but she was determined
-not to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191">{191}</a></span> betray, even by a look, the secret which she had promised her
-friend to keep. She saw that Harold studied the picture with intent
-interest, and she schooled her face to express nothing, in case he
-should look at her. She was watching him closely, and she thought that
-his color changed a little, but he gave no other sign of feeling. He did
-not look toward her. Indeed, there was neither question nor curiosity in
-his eyes, but a look of conviction and, she thought, a look of pain.</p>
-
-<p>A man and woman had paused beside them now, and stood gazing at the
-picture.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s quite a remarkable thing,” said the man; “and it appears to be by
-a new exhibitor. I do not know the name. It certainly tells its story.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said his companion; “I believe that it is only through marriage
-that despair comes to a woman. If one painted that look in a man’s eyes,
-one would have to invent some better explanation of it than a
-wedding-ring.”</p>
-
-<p>Harold glanced toward the speakers, and then began to move away, without
-looking again at the picture. Martha waited to hear what he would say;
-but as to this particular picture, he said nothing.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192">{192}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Why was it that she felt a sudden certainty that he knew who had painted
-it? It seemed absurd to suppose that he could, and yet she had a
-conviction about it impossible to shake off.</p>
-
-<p>The picture, as Martha knew, had been the hasty work of a few days, and
-had been painted at home. When Sonia had brought it to show to Etienne,
-he had been so surprised and delighted at it that he had insisted upon
-substituting it for the careful and painstaking piece of work which she
-had done in the atelier on purpose for the exhibition. It was evident
-that he recognized some rare quality in this picture, and that others
-had now recognized it also. Martha, looking back, saw that another group
-had formed in front of it, and that animated comment was in progress.</p>
-
-<p>It came over Martha now&mdash;a thing she had not thought of before&mdash;that in
-spite of the different contour and coloring of the whole face, there was
-a certain vague resemblance to Sonia in it. It was not the eyes
-themselves, for they were blue in the picture; but there was something
-in the shape and setting of them which suggested Sonia. She wondered if
-the lovely princess could have been aware of this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193">{193}</a></span> herself, for she had
-shown a strong reluctance to exhibit this picture, and had required of
-Etienne and herself a very strict promise of secrecy about it, saying
-that it had been seen by them only. Martha, who knew that her friend was
-unhappy, and that her sorrow had come to her through her marriage, felt
-in her heart that Sonia had painted this picture from the look of her
-own eyes in a mirror when off her usual guard. She wondered if by chance
-Harold had had the same idea.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194">{194}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XVIII" id="XVIII"></a>XVIII</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> next morning Martha drove to the apartment in the Rue Presbourg, and
-found her friend in bed, suffering from a headache which had been so
-severe that she had had a doctor. She had passed a sleepless night, and
-it distressed Martha much to see how really ill her beautiful princess
-looked. There were dark rings around the lovely eyes, and the sweet
-mouth, which the girl so loved, had a pathetic droop which showed that
-tears were not far off.</p>
-
-<p>Martha tried to cheer her up, by telling her how much her picture had
-been noticed, and repeating some of the comments which she had
-overheard.</p>
-
-<p>It was strange how little all this was to Sonia. Her pulses did not
-quicken, by one beat, until suddenly Martha said that Harold had been
-fascinated by it, had lingered before it and gone back to it, and that
-somehow she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195">{195}</a></span> could not help thinking that he suspected that she had
-painted it.</p>
-
-<p>“How could he? It is impossible!” Sonia cried, a faint flush rising to
-her face.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; I suppose it must be,” Martha conceded; “and yet there was
-something special about the picture to him; and after he had seen it, he
-certainly took no further interest in looking yours up, which, in the
-beginning, he had told me he was going to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Martha, you must never let him know it! I trust you for that. I shall
-never own the picture as long as I live; and I have the solemn pledge of
-both you and Etienne not to betray me. You know it was against my will
-that I consented to exhibit it, and I could not endure to have it known
-that a melodramatic thing like that (for that is what it will be called)
-had been painted and exhibited by me. Did your brother laugh at it? Tell
-me the truth. If he laughed at it, I wish to know it.”</p>
-
-<p>She had raised herself in the bed, and sat upright, looking at Martha
-with commanding eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“Laugh at it, Sonia? Could any one laugh at that picture&mdash;least of all
-Harold? It is one of the most deadly things that I ever<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196">{196}</a></span> looked at. No;
-he did not laugh. Indeed, I think it took from him all power of being
-amused for the rest of the day. I only say this to prove that the
-impression which your picture made was a serious one. He said nothing
-about it, but I know he was impressed by it.”</p>
-
-<p>The princess fell back on her pillows, with a face so flushed and eyes
-so brilliant that Martha feared that she must be in a fever, and blamed
-herself for having talked to her on a subject so exciting as the Salon.
-In a few moments she rose to go. Her friend, although she declared that
-the visit had done her no harm, did not try to keep her, for a sudden
-and excited fancy had seized her.</p>
-
-<p>No sooner was Martha gone than she rose quickly, rang for her maid, and
-began to dress, regardless of the fact that her head felt light, and her
-limbs were trembling. She put on a long cloak and a large black hat;
-and, ordering her carriage, had herself driven to the Palais de
-l’Industrie.</p>
-
-<p>A feverish desire to see the picture again had laid hold upon her. She
-wanted to look at it after knowing that Harold had done so, and to judge
-how much she had betrayed of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197">{197}</a></span></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter"><a name="fig_18" id="fig_18"></a>
-<img src="images/i_196.jpg" height="550" alt="[Image unavailable.]" />
-<br />
-<p class="caption">“SHE PUT ON A LONG CLOAK.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">what her own heart had felt, and her own eyes had expressed, when she
-had painted that picture before her mirror, trusting in the complete
-disguise of the decided changes in features and coloring which she had
-made. She had painted the expression as faithfully as she could, knowing
-that no one who had never seen her completely off guard would recognize
-it. She felt now that if she should discover that there was a trace of
-possible identification in either features or expression, she could not
-endure it. Harold would think, and would have a right to think, that she
-had made capital out of her most sacred shame and sorrow; and he was the
-sort of man to whom that idea would be monstrous. She knew that she
-never could have painted it if she had had the least idea of exhibiting
-it; but when it was done, and she had shown it to Etienne to get his
-criticism on the technique, and he had been so plainly delighted with
-it, and urged her not to carry it any farther, but to exhibit it as it
-was, she had agreed to it for three reasons. One was to please her
-master, who was not very easily pleased; another was because she knew
-she could keep it secret by telling no one except<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198">{198}</a></span> the two people who
-already knew; and the third and decisive one was that it was a way
-suddenly opened to her of giving her message to the world impersonally.
-She felt a sort of exultation in the thought that in this way she could
-say: “Look in my face, and see. This is marriage!”</p>
-
-<p>When Sonia got out of her carriage she dismissed it with the maid, and
-mounted the steps with a look of greater firmness and resolution than
-she really felt, for physically she was ill and weak. She knew, however,
-that she might meet with acquaintances here, and might attract the
-attention of strangers by being quite alone, and therefore she realized
-the necessity of calmness in her outward manner. Her face was partly hid
-by a veil, and she had managed to avoid the gaze of one or two people
-whom she had recognized as she made her way quickly to the room in which
-she knew that her picture was hung.</p>
-
-<p>In spite of her preoccupation, it quickened her pulses a little to see
-that there was a small group of people in front of it, evidently talking
-about it. As she stood behind these, and looked full at the face on the
-canvas, which was looking full at her, a sudden sense of con<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199">{199}</a></span>scious
-power, the knowledge that she had created a thing of intrinsic
-character, came over her, and she could hardly realize that it was she
-who had done it.</p>
-
-<p>There was certainly no trace of her feature and coloring in this
-picture, and yet she shrank back, and had an impulse to conceal herself,
-for what she saw before her was undoubtedly the picture of her soul. Her
-heart fluttered, and she felt herself beginning to tremble. Was she
-going to faint here, alone? A wild sense of helplessness seized her, and
-at the same moment she was conscious of a certain familiarity in the
-outline of a shoulder and arm between her and the picture. She glanced
-quickly up at the head of this man, and saw that it was Harold. A little
-sound&mdash;scarcely more than a stifled breath&mdash;escaped her, and he turned
-suddenly, just in time to go to her and take her arm in his steady,
-reassuring grasp, which seemed to nerve her soul as well as her body to
-make a desperate effort for self-control.</p>
-
-<p>“You are ill. You should not have ventured out alone,” he said. (Oh, the
-strong, protecting voice; the firm, availing touch!) Then he led her to
-a seat, with some quiet<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200">{200}</a></span> words that seemed to put new power into her to
-endure and to resist.</p>
-
-<p>“I must go home,” she said, rising as she felt her strength return. “I
-have been ill. I did not know how weak I was.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will take you to your carriage,” he said; and without seeming to
-recognize the possibility of resistance, he drew her arm in his, and led
-her from the room and down the steps.</p>
-
-<p>It came to her, suddenly, that her carriage was not there.</p>
-
-<p>“I sent the carriage away,” she said. “I thought I would stay awhile,
-and see the pictures.”</p>
-
-<p>He signaled to a waiting cab, and as it drew up to the sidewalk, and he
-put her in, he said quietly, but with resolution:</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot let you go alone in this cab, ill and faint as you are. I beg
-your pardon, princess; but I must go with you”; and he gave the number
-to the cabman, and got in beside her.</p>
-
-<p>That word <i>Princess</i> stung her pride, and gave her a sudden feeling of
-strength. She knew that he meant to convey by its use the idea that it
-was only as a matter of formal courtesy that he felt bound to care for
-and protect<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201">{201}</a></span> her now. She drew herself upright, with a slight bend of
-the head in acknowledgment of his civility.</p>
-
-<p>For a few moments they drove along in silence, utterly alone together.
-Harold wondered if the thoughts of other days and hours were in her
-mind. At the same instant she was wondering the same thing about him.
-She had forgotten that he had just spoken of her with formality, and
-called her princess. Apparently he had forgotten it, too; for he now
-said in a low tone and with suddenness:</p>
-
-<p>“Your picture is remarkable. You have told your story well.”</p>
-
-<p>She felt that denial would be useless. Since he had found her standing
-there before it, she was certain that he knew the truth as well as she
-did.</p>
-
-<p>“I never meant that it should be known that I painted it,” she said.
-“You must know that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why should it not be known?” he said. “If a woman has looked on what
-those eyes have seen, surely she is called upon to give her warning. If
-that is what marriage meant to you, God pity you! God be thanked that
-you are out of it!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202">{202}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>At his words there rushed across her mind the memory of a thousand acts
-and thoughts and words of tenderness, of love, of strong protection, of
-help in need and comfort in distress, which this man beside her had
-given her. How could she tell him, though, that the ground of the
-despair which she had painted had been the renunciation of these&mdash;the
-thought that she had had a vision of what the love of man and woman
-could be in a wedded life, and had been shut out from it? Where were now
-the reasons that had seemed so powerful and sufficient for the course
-which she had taken? Why was it that, try as she might, she could get no
-sense of support and satisfaction from recalling these? Was it because
-she felt them to be the foolish qualms of an ignorant girl, who was
-prepared to fight against any and all conditions of life which did not
-answer to her whim? O God, the hideous possibilities of error and of
-wrong that were about one! How confident of right one might be in doing
-an act of weakness and of shame!</p>
-
-<p>She could not answer his last words. She felt herself suddenly so
-possessed of the sense of his nearness that she could neither collect<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203">{203}</a></span>
-nor control her thoughts. Her eyes were lowered, and she could not see
-his face; but the very sight of his strong brown hand lying ungloved
-upon his knee, the very bend of that knee and fold of the gray trousers,
-seemed as familiar to her as her own body.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly she seemed to feel that he was hers, and that she was his,
-whether they chose to recognize the fact or not; that God had joined
-them, and no man, not even themselves, had power to put them asunder.</p>
-
-<p>Harold, meantime, was wondering at her silence. Why was it that, after
-her old defiant fashion, she had had no answer ready for his bitterly
-felt and spoken words? That picture had stung his soul, and he would
-have died sooner than have owned to himself even a wish to have her
-back.</p>
-
-<p>In spite of this, he could not forget that they were alone together, and
-that she was ill and weak, and needed pity. He wondered suddenly if he
-had been cruel in what he had said to her, and had put too great a tax
-upon her strength.</p>
-
-<p>As this thought crossed his mind the cab stopped, and he became aware of
-a din of sound, made by the tramping of men and horses, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204">{204}</a></span> the blare
-of brass instruments and the beating of drums. The cabman leaned down
-and called to him, saying that the way had been crossed by a procession.
-It would be some time passing. Was monsieur in a great hurry? Harold
-answered no; and as he turned from the window he glanced toward the
-woman at his side, and saw that she was leaning back weakly in her
-corner, deadly pale. Her eyes met his, however, with a wide, direct,
-unflinching look, and he saw that there was no danger of her fainting.
-Consciousness, acute and powerful, was written in those eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Outside, the crowd pushed and jostled by, while the clatter of hoofs and
-feet came more distinctly to the ears as the sound of the band moved off
-in the distance. An instinct to protect that pallid face from being
-gazed upon made him draw down the thick silk blinds. He did this,
-explaining his motive to his companion in a few quick words. Then he
-turned and looked at her, and in the suddenly created gloom their eyes
-met.</p>
-
-<p>He was striving with all his might to keep the fire out of his; but
-suddenly he became aware of the same effort on her part, as she closed
-her lids an instant, and then, as if mas<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205">{205}</a></span>tered by a feeling stronger
-than her will, opened them wide, and looked at him again.</p>
-
-<p>His heart leaped. His pulses throbbed. His cheeks flushed darkly. He
-moved a little nearer to her, so that their faces were close, and still
-her eyes met his with that wild, burning, concentrated gaze.</p>
-
-<p>“For God’s sake, what is it?” he said. But she did not move a muscle or
-an eyelash. She only gave her eyes to his, as one would hold up the
-printed page of a book to be read and understood.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it?” he said again, coming so near as to speak in the lowest
-whisper, while his hands grasped hard the top of his stick, and his
-breath came thick and fast.</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes still clung to his, but her lips were wordless.</p>
-
-<p>“I do not understand,” he said. “For God’s sake, speak! I do not want to
-lose control of myself, but I cannot forget that you have been my wife.”</p>
-
-<p>These words, which moved him so that he shook visibly, made apparently
-no impression upon her. Her breathing was so scant and so light as
-scarcely to lift the lace upon her breast; and, near as he was to her,
-he could not hear<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206">{206}</a></span> it. Was she, perhaps, unconscious? He might have
-thought so, but for the deep, intense consciousness in the gaze that she
-fixed upon him, and the flutter of her long-lashed lids as she shut and
-opened them occasionally from the strain of that prolonged look.</p>
-
-<p>Outside, the drum throbbed distantly, like the beating of a great
-excited heart. The thin call of a trumpet sounded keenly like a sigh of
-pain. Nearer the tramp of men and horses could be heard. But all these
-things only made them feel more absolutely alone together&mdash;this man and
-this woman who had once been one in marriage! With his breast heaving
-quickly with deep, uneven breaths, he suddenly uttered her name in a
-thick whisper.</p>
-
-<p>Still she remained as she had been before, motionless and wordless,
-while he read her eyes. He dropped his stick, and seized her hands in
-both his own, which were cold and shaking.</p>
-
-<p>“Speak!” he said commandingly. “In God’s name, what do you mean, unless
-it is that you love me still?”</p>
-
-<p>Her hands were quiet and nerveless in his grasp, and in another instant
-he would have lost control and consciousness of what he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207">{207}</a></span> doing. But
-at this very moment the cabman called to his horse and cracked his whip,
-the carriage gave a lurch forward, and they rattled rapidly away.</p>
-
-<p>Recollecting himself, Harold dropped the hands which he had seized so
-recklessly, and touched the springs of the curtains, which instantly
-flew up, letting in the full light of day.</p>
-
-<p>The fresh air which came in seemed to calm his heated blood, and he was
-master of himself again.</p>
-
-<p>When he turned to look at his companion, she was leaning back in exactly
-the same position, only her heavy, richly fringed white lids were
-dropped over her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>In this way she remained quite still until the carriage stopped before
-the door of her apartment. Harold, who thought that she had now really
-fainted, was about to summon help from the concierge, when she opened
-her eyes with a look of entire self-possession in them, got out of the
-cab without the aid of his offered hand, and, bowing her thanks, without
-speaking walked past him into the house, with a look of cool dismissal
-which made it impossible for him to follow.</p>
-
-<p>Puzzled, confused, bewildered almost to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208">{208}</a></span> point of frenzy, he got
-back into the cab, and ordered the driver to drive in the Bois until he
-should tell him to turn.</p>
-
-<p>Sonia, during that same time, was shut within her room, thinking as
-intensely as he. She had been able, by dint of enormous will-power, to
-control herself in all other points while indulging herself in one. She
-had said to herself during those crucial minutes in the cab, while she
-consciously threw open the windows of her soul to this man in that clear
-and unrestricted gaze, that she would neither speak nor stir, though the
-effort should kill her. She found that she could best carry out this
-resolve by relaxing her body utterly, while her will got every moment
-tenser in its strain. She had said to herself over and over to what
-seemed a thousand times: “Don’t move&mdash;don’t speak. Don’t move&mdash;don’t
-speak”; and the very consciousness that she was equal to this effort
-made her the more free in the abandonment with which she had let him
-read her heart in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Now, as she threw her wraps aside, and paced up and down her room, a
-feeling of delicious exultation possessed her, and the physical weakness
-which she had lately felt was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209">{209}</a></span> gone and forgotten. It had been a draught
-of intoxicating joy simply to look at him with free and unbridled eyes.
-Was he not her husband, who could not be, by any act of man, really
-parted from her? What had she shown him but a woman’s feeling for her
-wedded lover? Was she crazy, she wondered, that she could have done it
-then, and could feel now no regret&mdash;only a wild delight&mdash;in having done
-it? O God, O God, how long it was that she had shut herself off from
-feeling, and how good it was to feel once more! She was alive in every
-nerve and pulse, as she had not been for so long; and the throbbing of
-life was sweet, sweet, sweet! Never mind about the future; she would
-meet it boldly, and make up some excuse&mdash;that she had been ill or
-unconscious in the cab&mdash;pretend that she had forgotten the whole
-thing&mdash;do anything that was needed, as to that!&mdash;but the throbbing bliss
-of that one half-hour, she exulted that she had been bold enough to make
-her own.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210">{210}</a></span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="XIX" id="XIX"></a>XIX</h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> <i>cours</i> was closed at Etienne’s, but Sonia, who could not bear to
-face the hours of idleness which each day must contain during the few
-weeks which her aunt was still to spend in Paris, got permission to come
-and work in the atelier during the afternoons. She was privileged to get
-her own models as she required them, and Martha was to come also when
-she had time and inclination.</p>
-
-<p>The day after her encounter with Harold at the Salon, Sonia, strong in
-purpose and confident in will, went to the atelier with only Inkling to
-protect her and keep her company, and set resolutely to work to do some
-severe drawing.</p>
-
-<p>She had abundance of both time and space now, and she settled herself
-with great care and deliberation, with the anatomical figures and
-numerous copies of Ingres’ drawings full in view. She had not worked
-very long, how<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211">{211}</a></span>ever, before her enthusiasm began to ebb, and she put
-down her charcoal and went across to the model-throne, where she sat
-down with her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, and fell to
-thinking deeply. Inkling came and jumped up in her lap, but she pushed
-him away with a roughness unusual to her, and he had to content himself
-with curling up on her skirt. As she sat there, conscious of being quite
-alone, she was as absolutely still as any of the customary holders of
-this position; but the varied expressions which crossed and changed her
-face would have made any class of students in the world despair of such
-a model. Sometimes she would look quite happy for an instant, as if a
-thought of joy had forced its way uppermost. Then again deep pain would
-come into her face, and shadows of doubt, perplexity, and hopelessness.</p>
-
-<p>She sat so for a long time. Inkling had had a deep and peaceful sleep on
-the soft folds of her gown, from which he was startled by a knock at the
-door. His mistress sprang up suddenly, rolling him over, and he began to
-bark furiously, while Sonia, with an attitude of studious absorption,
-took her place at the easel, and seized her bit of charcoal. She<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212">{212}</a></span>
-thought it was probably only some boy on an errand, but she was also
-acutely conscious of whom it might possibly be. So she was not entirely
-unprepared for the sight of Harold appearing quickly around the edge of
-the old sail-cloth screen.</p>
-
-<p>He bowed with a brevity and formality which seemed to imply that she
-need fear no agitating disturbance from him; but instead of standing in
-his place and stating the reason of his presence, he came forward.</p>
-
-<p>Inkling, wild with excitement, began a repetition of his frantic
-performances of the former occasion; but his mistress, determined to
-have nothing of that sort, promptly suppressed him, and he slunk away
-and lay down with great meekness.</p>
-
-<p>Harold, seeming to take no cognizance of the dog, came nearer, and
-waited until the absorbed figure before the easel should notice him.
-Presently she did this by saying formally:</p>
-
-<p>“Martha is not here. She has not been here to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“She is at home. I have just left her,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I beg your pardon! I thought you had come to see her.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213">{213}</a></span>”</p>
-
-<p>“No; I have come to see you.”</p>
-
-<p>“To see me?” lifting her eyebrows in light surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“If you are at leisure.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am busy, as you see; but I can talk to you as I draw, if you don’t
-mind.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you will allow me, I will wait until your drawing is done.”</p>
-
-<p>“That would take up too much of your time,” she said, laying down her
-charcoal, and elaborately brushing off her fingers with her
-handkerchief.</p>
-
-<p>“Not at all. I have nothing to do.”</p>
-
-<p>“I would rather speak to you first&mdash;whatever it is you have to say&mdash;and
-go on with my work afterward. I dislike to draw with people looking on.”</p>
-
-<p>“In that case I will ask you to give me your attention at once. Will
-you, perhaps take this seat?”</p>
-
-<p>He indicated an old wooden arm-chair; but she declined it with a quick
-motion, and went over and took her old place on the model-throne,
-lifting Inkling to her lap. Harold seated himself on a bench directly
-facing her.</p>
-
-<p>“I am sorry if I am annoying you,” he said;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214">{214}</a></span> “but I cannot take the
-consequences of not speaking to you now.”</p>
-
-<p>“Consequences?” she said. “What consequences?”</p>
-
-<p>“Consequences to you and to me. I will ask you to be kind enough to look
-at me while I explain them.”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes were fastened upon Inkling, and she kept them so, while she
-began to twist his soft ears. There was a moment of intense stillness
-throughout the room. Then the man, in a voice of deep concentration,
-spoke her name.</p>
-
-<p>“Sophie,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Pray don’t call me by that name,” she answered quickly. “I have never
-liked it, and I wish now to forget it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sonia, then, if you prefer it. I want simply to make plain the fact
-that I am speaking to <i>you</i>, the woman who bears that name, and not to
-the princess, as you are supposed to be.”</p>
-
-<p>“Go on,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>He was silent. She kept her eyes fixed on the dog until she was afraid
-that her stubbornness would look childish, or, worse even than that,
-timid. Then she looked up.</p>
-
-<p>The next instant she wished that she had not,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215">{215}</a></span> for the compelling look
-that met her own did for a moment make her feel afraid. She summoned all
-her force, however, and looked at him defiantly, her head raised, her
-eyes steady.</p>
-
-<p>“I want you to explain to me what you meant yesterday,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“What I meant yesterday? What do you mean?”</p>
-
-<p>“What you meant yesterday, driving home in the cab.”</p>
-
-<p>“What I meant yesterday by driving home in the cab? I suppose my meaning
-was the obvious one&mdash;that I was tired and ill, and that my own carriage
-was not there.”</p>
-
-<p>The timidity which she had felt before grew now into positive terror, as
-she felt the masterful force of this man’s power over her. So strong was
-her sense of it that she felt absolutely reckless of what she said or
-did, so long as she was able to resist him.</p>
-
-<p>“You will not move me, or change my intention&mdash;my <i>determination</i> to get
-an answer to my question. Your evasion of it is childish as well as
-useless.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will be childish if I choose. Who is to prevent me?” she said
-defiantly.</p>
-
-<p>“I will. I have no intention of submitting<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216">{216}</a></span> to any such childishness
-now. You are a woman, and you are the only woman who exists for me. In
-that character I mean to have your answer to my question.”</p>
-
-<p>His words made her heart throb quick, with a feeling outside of the
-terror of self-betrayal by which she was possessed. She gave no outward
-sign, however, as she looked down, and began once more to pull at
-Inkling’s ears.</p>
-
-<p>Before she realized what he was doing, Harold had bent forward, and
-lifting the dog from her lap, he set him on the floor, with a shove that
-sent him half-way across the room. As the little creature ran off
-frightened, Harold turned to the woman facing him, and forcibly took
-both her hands in his.</p>
-
-<p>She jerked them from him with a powerful wrench, as she sprang to her
-feet, retreating a few paces until she was stopped by some benches and
-easels huddled together on that side of the room.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t touch me!” she cried, in a voice of real terror.</p>
-
-<p>He let his hands drop to his sides, but he followed, and stood very
-close to her, as he said:</p>
-
-<p>“You had better answer me, and let me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217">{217}</a></span> have my way. I am not to be
-turned now. This interview between us must be final, and I promise you
-that after it you shall be safe from any persecution from me. Now,
-however, the present moment is my own. I have you in my power&mdash;and that
-power I intend to use!”</p>
-
-<p>“An honorable and manly thing to say!” she panted, her eyes blazing and
-her lips curled. “Do you mean me to understand that you would use force
-to make me comply with your wish?”</p>
-
-<p>“I mean just that,” he answered, bending over her with eyes that gave
-her the feeling of a physical touch. “I will prevent your leaving this
-room until you have honestly and fairly spoken to me, and have either
-confirmed or denied what your eyes plainly said to me yesterday.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are cowardly and cruel!” she cried. “You are taking a mean
-advantage of me! I was ill yesterday. I was half unconscious&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You may have been ill,” he interrupted. “I know indeed that you were,
-and that physical weakness may have led to self-betrayal; but you were
-not unconscious. Far from it. You were never more acutely conscious in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218">{218}</a></span>
-your life than during those long moments when you looked at me with
-love.”</p>
-
-<p>“I deny it!” she cried angrily.</p>
-
-<p>“Useless!” he answered. “It is not to be denied.”</p>
-
-<p>She tried to draw farther away, but the barricade of easels stopped her.
-Then he himself stepped backward, and put some feet of space between
-them.</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot bear to see you shrink from me,” he said. “You will have to
-forgive a persistence that may seem to you brutal; but fate has put this
-opportunity into my hands, and I’d be a fool not to use it.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what do you expect to get from it?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p>“An answer in plain words to this question, Do you, or do you not, love
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>“I do not!” she cried hotly; but her breast was heaving so, her heart
-was throbbing so, that she could scarcely catch her breath; and she felt
-that not for all the world dared she look him in the face.</p>
-
-<p>“Your eyes yesterday contradicted your words of to-day,” he said. “I
-will not be content until I have had both. So help me God, you are not
-going to trifle with me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219">{219}</a></span> now! I will make you look at me, and confirm
-with your eyes the words you have just spoken, or I’ll have you for my
-wife again!”</p>
-
-<p>He caught her in his arms, and drew her close against him. She opened
-her mouth as if to scream, but he laid his palm upon it, not forgetting,
-for all his strength, to touch her gently.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, my darling, my precious one,” he said, “don’t call out for
-protection from me, as if I were your enemy! Surely you know that I
-would die by torture before I would hurt you&mdash;body or soul. But
-something&mdash;a wicked pride, perhaps&mdash;is making you struggle against the
-truth; and, for your sake as well as for my own, I must make a fight for
-it. Look! I offer you the chance. If you can look me in the face, and
-say with eyes and lips together, ‘Harold, I do not love you,’ then you
-are as free as air. If you can do that, I will go, and never cross your
-path again.”</p>
-
-<p>He had taken his hand from her mouth, for fear her panting breaths would
-cease. He could feel the violent beating of her heart against his side.
-An overwhelming tenderness and pity for her filled him, and his arm,
-relaxing its stern pressure, drew her close,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220">{220}</a></span> with an embrace whose only
-constraint was that of love. Her ear was very close to him, and he spoke
-to her in the lowest whispers.</p>
-
-<p>“Dear one,” he said, “what is it you are fighting against, if it be not
-the coming back of love and joy?”</p>
-
-<p>He could not see her eyes. He did not wish to see them yet. This waiting
-was bliss, because there was hope in it.</p>
-
-<p>She had ceased to struggle, and was quiet in his arms. They stood so,
-many seconds, their hearts throbbing against each other, their cheeks
-pressed. In the unspeakable sweetness of his nearness, Harold felt
-against his face the moisture of a tear.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it?” he whispered. “You are crying! For God’s sake, tell me
-why!”</p>
-
-<p>A gentle little head-shake answered him; but she made no motion to draw
-herself away, and he, enraptured, held her close.</p>
-
-<p>“There is nothing&mdash;<i>nothing</i> that you cannot tell to me,” he said, still
-in that whisper that thrilled the silence of the room. “Perhaps you do
-not understand. Listen, and I will make it all plain. I loved you then.
-I love you now. I have loved you through all the pain and silence in
-between. Oh, dear<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221">{221}</a></span>est, never dream but that you are still my own&mdash;wholly
-and unchangeably as I am yours&mdash;if only you love me!”</p>
-
-<p>She kept so still that he was puzzled. He made a motion to draw back his
-head and look at her, but she put up her hand and pressed his cheek
-still closer against hers. He passionately wished that she would speak;
-but there was no sound except that fluttered breathing, no motion but
-that little tremor which he felt against his side. She was weakening,
-weakening, weakening&mdash;he was sure of this; but he was in such an
-absolute terror of misunderstanding her mood that he dared not move or
-speak.</p>
-
-<p>As they stood there so, he felt a sudden tightening of the pressure of
-her arms. They strained him close against her. His heart leaped; but he
-was not sure. There was something that alarmed him even in that clasp of
-love.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you happy?” he whispered in the lowest murmur. But with a sudden
-wrench she tore herself away from him, and when he tried to follow,
-waved him back with a gesture which he could not disregard.</p>
-
-<p>“Happy!” she said in a voice that mocked<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222">{222}</a></span> the thought, as she wrung her
-hands together, and then, for a moment, hid her face in the curve of one
-tensely bended arm. “What have I to do with happiness?” she cried out,
-flinging wide her arms, and looking upward, as if appealing to some
-invisible presence rather than to him or to herself. “I had it given to
-me once in boundless measure, and I played with it, and tossed it from
-me. It was lightly and easily done, and now it cannot be undone.”</p>
-
-<p>Harold stood where her imperious gesture had stopped him, and looked at
-her in consternation.</p>
-
-<p>“What do you mean?” he said. “You will not try now to deny your love for
-me! You have owned it in that close embrace which can mean nothing
-but&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Good-by!” she interrupted him. “It means inevitable parting. You must
-go, or, if not, I must fly to some place where we cannot meet again.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, dearest, we cannot part. I have told you how I love you in plain
-words. You have told me the same, without the need of words.”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him,&mdash;a deep, inscrutable gaze,&mdash;and shook her head.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223">{223}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“I have had perfect love once,” she said, “and from you&mdash;the one man
-whose love could ever have any meaning for me&mdash;love that included
-perfect trust, perfect confidence, perfect respect. I refuse to take
-from you a smaller thing. It is easier to give you up than to face that
-thought.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Sonia! Darling! You have got that love! I tell you it is just the
-same!”</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head.</p>
-
-<p>“It cannot be,” she said. “You would feel that what had been once might
-be again. You could never feel secure for even one moment. I could not
-bear it. You must remember what I felt in that one embrace. Oh, Harold,
-I <i>want</i> you to remember that! And now you must let me go.”</p>
-
-<p>“Go?” he said. “Where should you go, but here to me&mdash;to your right
-place, your home, your husband?”</p>
-
-<p>At this last word she gave a sharp cry. She had been standing
-unsupported, and now a sudden trembling seized her, and she half
-tottered toward a chair. In an instant he was at her side, his arms
-about her, fast and sure. It was too sweet, this strong and tender
-holding up of her weak body. She let it be, but she was motionless and
-wordless in his arms.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224">{224}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>“My own child,” he said, “there can be no question as to our future now.
-It was all a mistake&mdash;the past! If we acknowledge it&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, the past, the past!” she said. “I can never get away from it. We
-have lost two years. No matter if we had the whole future of time and
-eternity, we could never get those back&mdash;and it was I that did it! It is
-good of you to say that you forgive me; but I&mdash;oh, I never can forgive
-myself! You never can believe in me again. I dare not ask or look for
-it. I don’t deserve it. You would be wrong and foolish if you did.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then wrong and foolish I will be!” he said. “I will believe in you
-again and again, forever! You have forgotten something, Sonia. There is
-no question of judgment between you and me, because you are myself. Do
-you not feel that that is so?”</p>
-
-<p>She did not answer, and he said again, in that compelling tone she knew
-so well:</p>
-
-<p>“Do you not feel it so, my wife?”</p>
-
-<p>She raised to his, unswervingly, eyes that were clear as stars after
-their recent tears. She unveiled her soul to him as daringly as she had
-done yesterday, and the message that they gave him was the
-same&mdash;abundant, free, unstinted love, without reserve or fear.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225">{225}</a></span></p>
-
-<p>He drew her quickly closer, still holding her eyes with his.</p>
-
-<p>“Speak! Tell me!” he said.</p>
-
-<p>Then voice and look together spoke:</p>
-
-<p>“I love you, Harold&mdash;my husband!”</p>
-
-<p>He took the dear words from her lips with his.</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Afterward</span>, when they were seated together on the model-throne, they were
-startled by a timid little tinkling, and as they both with a sense of
-compunction called to Inkling to come, and he sprang up between them
-quivering with joy, and making frantic efforts to lick both their faces
-at once, their laughs and struggles made such a commotion that they did
-not hear the door open, admitting Martha.</p>
-
-<p>She half crossed the room, and then stood still, transfixed with
-amazement, till they drew her down between them and told her everything.</p>
-
-<p>&nbsp;</p>
-
-<p>“<span class="smcap">So</span> you are not a princess, after all!” said Martha.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes I am,” Sonia answered quickly. “I’m ‘The Happy Princess’&mdash;and
-this is my Prince!”</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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