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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #62820 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/62820)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fire Within, by Patricia Wentworth
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Fire Within
-
-Author: Patricia Wentworth
-
-Release Date: August 2, 2020 [EBook #62820]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRE WITHIN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by D A Alexander, Stephen Hutcheson, and the
-Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
-(This file was produced from images generously made
-available by The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- The Fire Within
-
-
- By
- Patricia Wentworth
- (Mrs. G. F. Dillon)
- Author of “A Marriage under the Terror,” etc.
-
-
- “_Quench thou the fires of your old gods,
- Quench not the fire within._”
- Matthew Arnold.
-
-
- G. P. Putnam’s Sons
- New York and London
- _The Knickerbocker Press_
- 1913
-
- Copyright, 1913
- by
- G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS
-
- _The Knickerbocker Press, New York_
-
-
-
-
- CONTENTS
-
-
- CHAPTER PAGE
- I. Mr. Mottisfont’s Opinion of his Nephew 1
- II. David Blake 18
- III. Dead Men’s Shoes 30
- IV. A Man’s Honour 40
- V. Town Talk 56
- VI. The Letter 66
- VII. Elizabeth Chantrey 77
- VIII. Edward Sings 91
- IX. Mary Is Shocked 107
- X. Edward Is Put Out 120
- XI. Forgotten Ways 134
- XII. The Grey Wolf 143
- XIII. March Goes Out 156
- XIV. The Golden Wind 163
- XV. Love Must to School 171
- XVI. Friendship 179
- XVII. The Dream 188
- XVIII. The Face of Love 199
- XIX. The Full Moon 207
- XX. The Woman of the Dream 214
- XXI. Elizabeth Blake 225
- XXII. After the Dream 236
- XXIII. Elizabeth Waits 243
- XXIV. The Lost Name 258
-
-
-
-
- The Fire Within
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I
- MR. MOTTISFONT’S OPINION OF HIS NEPHEW
-
-
- As I was going adown the dale
- Sing derry down dale, and derry down dale,
- As I was going adown the dale,
- Adown the dale of a Monday,
- With never a thought of the Devil his tricks,
- Why who should I meet with his bundle of sticks,
- But the very old man of the Nursery tale.
- Sing derry down dale, and derry down dale,
- The wicked old man of the Nursery tale
- Who gathered his sticks of a Sunday.
- Sing derry down, derry down dale.
-
-Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked over the edge of the sheet at David
-Blake.
-
-“My nephew Edward is most undoubtedly and indisputably a prig—a damned
-prig,” he added thoughtfully after a moment’s pause for reflection. As
-he reflected his black eyes danced from David’s face to a crayon drawing
-which hung on the panelled wall above the mantelpiece.
-
-“His mother’s fault,” he observed, “it’s not so bad in a woman, and she
-was pretty, which Edward ain’t. Pretty and a prig my sister Sarah——”
-
-There was a faint emphasis on the word sister, and David remembered
-having heard his mother say that both Edward and William Mottisfont had
-been in love with the girl whom William married. “And a plain prig my
-nephew Edward,” continued the old gentleman. “Damn it all, David, why
-can’t I leave my money to you instead?”
-
-David laughed.
-
-“Because I shouldn’t take it, sir,” he said.
-
-He was sitting, most unprofessionally, on the edge of his patient’s
-large four-post bed. Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked at him
-quizzically.
-
-“How much would you take—eh, David? Come now—say—how much?”
-
-David laughed again. His grey eyes twinkled. “Nary penny, sir,” he said,
-swinging his arm over the great carved post beside him. There were
-cherubs’ heads upon it, a fact that had always amused its owner
-considerably.
-
-“Nonsense,” said old Mr. Mottisfont, and for the first time his thin
-voice was tinged with earnestness. “Nonsense, David. Why! I’ve left you
-five thousand pounds.”
-
-David started. His eyes changed. They were very deep-set eyes. It was
-only when he laughed that they appeared grey. When he was serious they
-were so dark as to look black. Apparently he was moved and concerned.
-His voice took a boyish tone. “Oh, I say, sir—but you mustn’t—I can’t
-take it, you know.”
-
-“And why not, pray?” This was Mr. Mottisfont at his most sarcastic.
-
-David got the better of his momentary embarrassment.
-
-“I shan’t forget that you’ve thought of it, sir,” he said. “But I can’t
-benefit under a patient’s will. I haven’t got many principles, but
-that’s one of them. My father drummed it into me from the time I was
-about seven.”
-
-Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lifted the thin eyebrows that had contrived to
-remain coal-black, although his hair was white. They gave him a
-Mephistophelean appearance of which he was rather proud.
-
-“Very fine and highfalutin,” he observed. “You’re an exceedingly upright
-young man, David.”
-
-David roared.
-
-After a moment the old gentleman’s lips gave way at the corners, and he
-laughed too.
-
-“Oh, Lord, David, who’d ha’ thought it of you!” he said. “You won’t take
-a thousand?”
-
-David shook his head.
-
-“Not five hundred?”
-
-David grinned.
-
-“Not five pence,” he said.
-
-Old Mr. Mottisfont glared at him for a moment. “Prig,” he observed with
-great conciseness. Then he pursed up his lips, felt under his pillow,
-and pulled out a long folded paper.
-
-“All the more for Edward,” he said maliciously. “All the more for
-Edward, and all the more reason for Edward to wish me dead. I wonder he
-don’t poison me. Perhaps he will. Oh, Lord, I’d give something to see
-Edward tried for murder! Think of it, David—only think of it—Twelve
-British Citizens in one box—Edward in another—all the British Citizens
-looking at Edward, and Edward looking as if he was in church, and
-wondering if the moth was getting into his collections, and if any one
-would care for ’em when he was dead and gone. Eh, David? Eh, David? And
-Mary—like Niobe, all tears——”
-
-David had been chuckling to himself, but at the mention of Edward’s wife
-his face changed a little. He continued to laugh, but his eyes hardened,
-and he interrupted his patient: “Come, sir, you mustn’t tire yourself.”
-
-“Like Niobe, all tears,” repeated Mr. Mottisfont, obstinately. “Sweetly
-pretty she’d look too—eh, David? Edward’s a lucky dog, ain’t he?”
-
-David’s eyes flashed once and then hardened still more. His chin was
-very square.
-
-“Come, sir,” he repeated, and looked steadily at the old man.
-
-“Beast—ain’t I?” said old Mr. Mottisfont with the utmost cheerfulness.
-He occupied himself with arranging the bedclothes in an accurate line
-across his chest. As he did so, his hand touched the long folded paper,
-and he gave it an impatient push.
-
-“You’re a damn nuisance, David,” he said. “I’ve made my will once, and
-now I’ve to make it all over again just to please you. All the whole
-blessed thing over again, from ‘I, Edward Morell Mottisfont,’ down to ‘I
-deliver this my act and deed.’ Oh, Lord, what a bore.”
-
-“Mr. Fenwick,” suggested David, and old Mr. Edward Mottisfont flared
-into sudden wrath.
-
-“Don’t talk to me of lawyers,” he said violently. “I know enough law to
-make a will they can’t upset. Don’t talk of ’em. Sharks and robbers.
-Worse than the doctors. Besides young Fenwick talks—tells his wife
-things—and she tells her sister. And what Mary Bowden knows, the town
-knows. Did I ever tell you how I found out? I suspected, but I wanted to
-be sure. So I sent for young Fenwick, and told him I wanted to make my
-will. So far, so good. I made it—or he did. And I left a couple of
-thousand pounds to Bessie Fenwick and a couple more to her sister Mary
-in memory of my old friendship with their father. And as soon as Master
-Fenwick had gone I put his morning’s work in the fire. Now how do I know
-he talked? This way. A week later I met Mary Bowden in the High Street,
-and I had the fright of my life. I declare I thought she’d ha’ kissed
-me. It was ‘I hope you are prudent to be out in this east wind, dear Mr.
-Mottisfont,’ and I must come and see them soon—and oh, Lord, what fools
-women are! Mary Bowden never could abide me till she thought I’d left
-her two thousand pounds.”
-
-“Fenwicks aren’t the only lawyers in the world,” suggested David.
-
-“Much obliged, I’m sure. I did go to one once to make a will—they say
-it’s sweet to play the fool sometimes—eh, David? Fool I was sure enough.
-I found a little mottled man, that sat blinking at me, and repeating my
-words, till I could have murdered him with his own office pen-knife. He
-called me Moral too, in stead of Morell. ‘Edward Moral Mottisfont,’ and
-I took occasion to inform him that I wasn’t moral, never had been moral,
-and never intended to be moral. I said he must be thinking of my nephew
-Edward, who was damn moral. Oh, Lord, here _is_ Edward. I could ha’ done
-without him.”
-
-The door opened as he was speaking, and young Edward Mottisfont came in.
-He was a slight, fair man with a well-shaped head, a straight nose, and
-as much chin as a great many other people. He wore _pince-nez_ because
-he was short-sighted, and high collars because he had a long neck. Both
-the _pince-nez_ and the collar had an intensely irritating effect upon
-old Mr. Edward Mottisfont.
-
-“If he hadn’t been for ever blinking at some bug that was just out of
-his sight, his eyes would have been as good as mine, and he might just
-as well keep his head in a butterfly net or a collecting box as where he
-does keep it. Not that I should have said that Edward _did_ keep his
-head.”
-
-“I think you flurry him, sir,” said David, “and——”
-
-“I know I do,” grinned Mr. Mottisfont.
-
-Young Edward Mottisfont came into the room and shut the door.
-
-Old Mr. Mottisfont watched him with black, malicious eyes.
-
-For as many years as Edward could remember anything, he could remember
-just that look upon his uncle’s face. It made him uneasy now, as it had
-made him uneasy when he was only five years old.
-
-Once when he was fifteen he said to David Blake: “You cheek him, David,
-and he likes you for it. How on earth do you manage it? Doesn’t he make
-you feel beastly?”
-
-And David stared and said: “Beastly? Rats! Why should I feel beastly?
-He’s jolly amusing. He makes me laugh.”
-
-At thirty, Edward no longer employed quite the same ingenuous slang, but
-there was no doubt that he still experienced the same sensations, which
-fifteen years earlier he had characterised as beastly.
-
-Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lay in bed with his hands folded on his chest.
-He watched his nephew with considerable amusement, and waited for him to
-speak.
-
-Edward took a chair beside the bed. Then he said that it was a fine day,
-and old Mr. Mottisfont nodded twice with much solemnity.
-
-“Yes, Edward,” he said.
-
-There was a pause.
-
-“I hope you are feeling pretty well,” was the unfortunate Edward’s next
-attempt at conversation.
-
-Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked across at David Blake. “Am I feeling
-pretty well—eh, David?”
-
-David laughed. He had moved when Edward came into the room, and was
-standing by the window looking out. A little square pane was open.
-Through it came the drowsy murmur of a drowsy, old-fashioned town. Mr.
-Mottisfont’s house stood a few yards back from the road, just at the
-head of the High Street. Market Harford was a very old town, and the
-house was a very old house. There was a staircase which was admired by
-American visitors, and a front door for which they occasionally made
-bids. From where Mr. Mottisfont lay in bed he could see a narrow lane
-hedged in by high old houses with red tiles. Beyond, the ground fell
-sharply away, and there was a prospect of many red roofs. Farther still,
-beyond the river, he could see the great black chimneys of his foundry,
-and the smoke that came from them. It was the sight that he loved best
-in the world. David looked down into the High Street and watched one
-lamp after another spring into brightness. He could see a long ribbon of
-light go down to the river and then rise again. He turned back into the
-room when he was appealed to, and said:
-
-“Why, you know best how you feel, sir.”
-
-“Oh, no,” said old Mr. Mottisfont in a smooth, resigned voice. “Oh, no,
-David. In a private and unofficial sort of way, yes; but in a public and
-official sense, oh, dear, no. Edward wants to know when to order his
-mourning, and how to arrange his holiday so as not to clash with my
-funeral, so it is for my medical adviser to reply, ain’t it, Edward?”
-
-The colour ran to the roots of Edward Mottisfont’s fair hair. He cast an
-appealing glance in David’s direction, and did not speak.
-
-“I don’t think any of us will order our mourning till you’re dead, sir,”
-said David with a chuckle. He commiserated Edward, but, after all,
-Edward was a lucky dog—and to see one’s successful rival at a
-disadvantage is not an altogether unpleasant experience. “You’ll outlive
-some of us young ones yet,” he added, but old Mr. Mottisfont was
-frowning.
-
-“Seen any more of young Stevenson, Edward?” he said, with an abrupt
-change of manner.
-
-Edward shook his head rather ruefully.
-
-“No, sir, I haven’t.”
-
-“No, and you ain’t likely to,” said old Mr. Mottisfont. “There, you’d
-best be gone. I’ve talked enough.”
-
-“Then good-night, sir,” said Edward Mottisfont, getting up with some
-show of cheerfulness.
-
-The tone of Mr. Mottisfont’s good-night was not nearly such a pleasant
-one, and as soon as the door had closed upon Edward he flung round
-towards David Blake with an angry “What’s the good of him? What’s the
-good of the fellow? He’s not a business man. He’s not a man at all; he’s
-an entomologiac—a lepidoptofool—a damn lepidoptofool.”
-
-These remarkable epithets followed one another with an extraordinary
-rapidity.
-
-When the old gentleman paused for breath David inquired, “What’s the
-trouble, sir?”
-
-“Oh, he’s muddled the new contract with Stevenson. Thinking of
-butterflies, I expect. Pretty things, butterflies—but there—I don’t see
-that I need distress myself. It ain’t me it’s going to touch. It’s
-Edward’s own look-out. My income ain’t going to concern me for very much
-longer.”
-
-He was silent for a moment. Then he made a restless movement with his
-hand.
-
-“It won’t, will it—eh, David? You didn’t mean what you said just now? It
-was just a flam? I ain’t going to live, am I?”
-
-David hesitated and the old man broke in with an extraordinary energy.
-
-“Oh, for the Lord’s sake, David, I’m not a girl—out with it! How long d’
-ye give me?”
-
-David sat down on the bed again. His movements had a surprising
-gentleness for so large a man. His odd, humorous face was quite serious.
-
-“Really, sir, I don’t know,” he said, “I really don’t. There’s no more
-to be done if you won’t let me operate. No, we won’t go over all that
-again. I know you’ve made up your mind. And no one can possibly say how
-long it may be. You might have died this week, or you may die in a
-month, or it may go on for a year—or two—or three. You’ve the sort of
-constitution they don’t make nowadays.”
-
-“Three years,” said old Mr. Edward Mottisfont—“three years, David—and
-this damn pain all along—all the time—gettin’ worse——”
-
-“Oh, I think we can relieve the pain, sir,” said David cheerfully.
-
-“Much obliged, David. Some beastly drug that’ll turn me into an idiot.
-No, thank ye, I’ll keep my wits if it’s all the same to you. Well, well,
-it’s all in the day’s work, and I’m not complaining, but Edward’ll get
-mortal tired of waiting for my shoes if I last three years. I doubt his
-patience holding out. He’ll be bound to hasten matters on. Think of the
-bad example I shall be for the baby—when it comes. Lord, David, what d’
-ye want to look like that for? I suppose they’ll have babies like other
-folk, and I’ll be a bad example for ’em. Edward’ll think of that. When
-he’s thought of it enough, and I’ve got on his nerves a bit more than
-usual, he’ll put strychnine or arsenic into my soup. Oh, Edward’ll
-poison me yet. You’ll see.”
-
-“Poor old Edward, it’s not much in his line,” said David with half a
-laugh.
-
-“Eh? What about Pellico’s dog then?”
-
-“Pellico’s dog, sir?”
-
-“What an innocent young man you are, David—never heard of Pellico’s dog
-before, did you? Pellico’s dog that got on Edward’s nerves same as I get
-on his nerves, and you never knew that Edward dosed the poor brute with
-some of his bug-curing stuff, eh? To be sure you didn’t think I knew,
-nor did Edward. I don’t tell everything I know, and how I know it is my
-affair and none of yours, Master David Blake, but you see Edward’s not
-so unhandy with a little job in the poisoning line.”
-
-David’s face darkened. The incident of Pellico’s dog had occurred when
-he and Edward were schoolboys of fifteen. He remembered it very well,
-but he did not very much care being reminded of it. Every day of his
-life he passed the narrow turning, down which, in defiance of parental
-prohibitions, he and Edward used to race each other to school. Old
-Pellico’s dirty, evil-smelling shop still jutted out of the farther end,
-and the grimy door-step upon which his dog used to lie in wait for their
-ankles was still as grimy as ever. Sometimes it was a trouser-leg that
-suffered. Sometimes an ankle was nipped, and if Pellico’s dog
-occasionally got a kick in return, it was not more than his due. David
-remembered his own surprise when it first dawned upon him that Edward
-minded—yes, actually minded these encounters. He recalled the occasion
-when Edward, his face of a suspicious pallor, had denied angrily that he
-was afraid of any beastly dog, and then his sudden wincing confession
-that he did mind—that he minded horribly—not because he was afraid of
-being bitten—Edward explained this point very carefully—but because the
-dog made such a beastly row, and because Edward dreamed of him at night,
-only in his dreams, Pellico’s dog was rather larger than Pellico
-himself, and the lane was a cul-de-sac with a wall at the end of it,
-against which he crouched in his dream whilst the dog came nearer and
-nearer.
-
-“What rot,” was David’s comment, “but if I felt like that, I jolly well
-know I’d knock the brute on the head.”
-
-“Would you?” said Edward, and that was all that had passed. Only, when a
-week later Pellico’s dog was poisoned, David was filled with righteous
-indignation. He stormed at Edward.
-
-“You did it—you know you did it. You did it with some of that beastly
-bug-killing stuff that you keep knocking about.”
-
-Edward was pale, but there was an odd gleam of triumph in the eyes that
-met David’s.
-
-“Well, you said you’d do for him—you said it yourself. So then I just
-did it.”
-
-David stared at him with all a schoolboy’s crude condemnation of
-something that was “not the game.”
-
-“I’d have knocked him on the head under old Pellico’s nose—but
-poison—poison’s _beastly_.”
-
-He did not reason about it. It was just instinct. You knocked on the
-head a brute that annoyed you, but you didn’t use poison. And Edward had
-used poison. That was the beginning of David’s great intimacy with
-Elizabeth Chantrey. He did not quarrel with Edward, but they drifted out
-of an inseparable friendship into a relationship of the cool,
-go-as-you-please order. The thing rankled a little after all these
-years. David sat there frowning and remembering. Old Mr. Mottisfont
-laughed.
-
-“Aha, you see I know most things,” he said, “Edward’ll poison me yet.
-You see, he’s in a fix. He hankers after this house same as I always
-hankered after it. It’s about the only taste we have in common. He’s got
-his own house on a seven years’ lease, and here’s Nick Anderson going to
-be married, and willing to take it off his hands. And what’s Edward to
-do? It’s a terrible anxiety for him not knowing if I’m going to die or
-not. If he doesn’t accept Nick’s offer and I die, he’ll have two houses
-on his hands. If he accepts it and I don’t die, he’ll not have a house
-at all. It’s a sad dilemma for Edward. That’s why he would enjoy seeing
-about my funeral so much. He’d do it all very handsomely. Edward likes
-things handsome. And Mary, who doesn’t care a jot for me, will wear a
-black dress that don’t suit her, and feel like a Christian martyr. And
-Elizabeth won’t wear black at all, though she cares a good many jots,
-and though she’d look a deal better in it than Mary—eh, David?”
-
-But David Blake was exclaiming at the lateness of the hour, and saying
-good-night, all in a breath.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II
- DAVID BLAKE
-
-
- Grey, grey mist
- Over the old grey town,
- A mist of years, a mist of tears,
- Where ghosts go up and down;
- And the ghosts they whisper thus, and thus,
- Of the days when the world went with us.
-
-A minute or two later Elizabeth Chantrey came into the room. She was a
-very tall woman, with a beautiful figure. All her movements were strong,
-sure, and graceful. She carried a lighted lamp in her left hand. Mr.
-Mottisfont abominated electric light and refused obstinately to have it
-in the house. When Elizabeth had closed the door and set down the lamp,
-she crossed over to the window and fastened a heavy oak shutter across
-it. Then she sat down by the bed.
-
-“Well,” she said in her pleasant voice.
-
-“H’m,” said old Mr. Mottisfont, “well or ill’s all a matter of opinion,
-same as religion, or the cut of a dress.” He shut his mouth with a snap,
-and lay staring at the ceiling. Presently his eyes wandered back to
-Elizabeth. She was sitting quite still, with her hands folded. Very few
-busy women ever sit still at all, but Elizabeth Chantrey, who was a very
-busy woman, was also a woman of a most reposeful presence. She could be
-unoccupied without appearing idle, just as she could be silent without
-appearing either stupid or constrained. Old Edward Mottisfont looked at
-her for about five minutes. Then he said suddenly:
-
-“What’ll you do when I’m dead, Elizabeth?”
-
-Elizabeth made no protest, as her sister Mary would have done. She had
-not been Edward Mottisfont’s ward since she was fourteen for nothing.
-She understood him very well, and she was perhaps the one creature whom
-he really loved. She leaned her chin in her hand and said:
-
-“I don’t know, Mr. Mottisfont.”
-
-Mr. Mottisfont never took his eyes off her face.
-
-“Edward’ll want to move in here as soon as possible. What’ll you do?”
-
-“I don’t know,” repeated Elizabeth, frowning a little.
-
-“Well, if you don’t know, perhaps you’ll listen to reason, and do as I
-ask you.”
-
-“If I can,” said Elizabeth Chantrey.
-
-He nodded.
-
-“Stay here a year,” he said, “a year isn’t much to ask—eh?”
-
-“Here?”
-
-“Yes—in this house. I’ve spoken about it to Edward. Odd creature,
-Edward, but, I believe, truthful. Said he was quite agreeable. Even went
-so far as to say he was fond of you, and that Mary would be pleased.
-Said you’d too much tact to obtrude yourself, and that of course you’d
-keep your own rooms. No, I don’t suppose you’ll find it particularly
-pleasant, but I believe you’ll find it worth while. Give it a year.”
-
-Elizabeth started ever so slightly. One may endure for years, and make
-no sign, to wince at last in one unguarded moment. So he knew—had always
-known. Again Elizabeth made no protest.
-
-“A year,” she said in a low voice, “a year—I’ve given fifteen years.
-Isn’t fifteen years enough?”
-
-Something fierce came into old Edward Mottisfont’s eyes. His whole face
-hardened. “He’s a damn fool,” he said.
-
-Elizabeth laughed.
-
-“Of course he must be,” and she laughed again.
-
-The old man nodded.
-
-“Grit,” he said to himself, “grit. That’s the way—laugh, Elizabeth,
-laugh—and let him go hang for a damn fool. He ain’t worth it—no man
-living’s worth it. But give him a year all the same.”
-
-If old Mr. Mottisfont had not been irritated with David Blake for being
-as he put it, a damn fool, he would not have made the references he had
-done to his nephew Edward’s wife. They touched David upon the raw, and
-old Mr. Mottisfont was very well aware of it. As David went out of the
-room and closed the door, a strange mood came upon him. All the many
-memories of this house, familiar to him from early boyhood, all the many
-memories of this town of his birth and upbringing, rose about him. It
-was a strange mood, but yet not a sad one, though just beyond it lay the
-black shadow which is the curse of the Celt. David Blake came of an old
-Irish stock, although he had never seen Ireland. He had the vein of
-poetry—the vein of sadness, which are born at a birth with Irish humour
-and Irish wit.
-
-As he went down the staircase, the famous staircase with its carved
-newels, the light of a moving lamp came up from below, and at the turn
-of the stair he stood aside to let Elizabeth Chantrey pass. She wore a
-grey dress, and the lamp-light shone upon her hair and made it look like
-very pale gold. It was thick hair—very fine and thick, and she wore it
-in a great plait like a crown. In the daytime it was not golden at all,
-but just the colour of the pale thick honey with which wax is mingled.
-Long ago a Chantrey had married a wife from Norway with Elizabeth’s hair
-and Elizabeth’s dark grey eyes.
-
-“Good-night, David,” said Elizabeth Chantrey. She would have passed on,
-but to her surprise David made no movement. He was looking at her.
-
-“This is where I first saw you, Elizabeth,” he said in a remembering
-voice. “You had on a grey dress, like that one, but Mary was in blue,
-because Mr. Mottisfont wouldn’t let her wear mourning. Do you remember
-how shocked poor Miss Agatha was?—‘and their mother only dead a month!’
-I can hear her now.” Mary—yes, he remembered little Mary Chantrey in her
-blue dress. He could see her now—nine years old—in a blue dress—with
-dark curling hair and round brown eyes, holding tightly to Elizabeth’s
-skirts, and much too shy to speak to the big strange boy who was
-Edward’s friend.
-
-Elizabeth watched him. She knew very well that he was not thinking of
-her, although he had remembered the grey dress. And yet—for five
-years—it was she and not Mary to whom David came with every mood. During
-those five years, the years between fourteen and nineteen, it was always
-Elizabeth and David, David and Elizabeth. Then when David was twenty,
-and in his first year at hospital, Dr. Blake died suddenly, and for four
-years David came no more to Market Harford. Mrs. Blake went to live with
-a sister in the north, and David’s vacations were spent with his mother.
-For a time he wrote often—then less often—finally only at Christmas. And
-the years passed. Elizabeth’s girlhood passed. Mary grew up. And when
-David Blake had been nearly three years qualified, and young Dr.
-Ellerton was drowned out boating, David bought from Mrs. Ellerton a
-share in the practice that had been his father’s, and brought his mother
-back to Market Harford. Mrs. Blake lived only for a year, but before she
-died she had seen David fall headlong in love, not with her dear
-Elizabeth, but with Mary—pretty little Mary—who was turning the heads of
-all the young men, sending Jimmy Larkin with a temporarily broken heart
-to India, Jack Webster with a much more seriously injured one to the
-West Coast of Africa, and enjoying herself mightily the while. Elizabeth
-had memories as well as David. They came at least as near sadness as
-his. She thought she had remembered quite enough for one evening, and
-she set her foot on the stair above the landing.
-
-“Poor Miss Agatha!” she said. “What a worry we were to her, and how she
-disliked our coming here. I can remember her grumbling to Mr.
-Mottisfont, and saying, ‘Children make such a work in the house,’ and
-Mr. Mottisfont——”
-
-Elizabeth laughed.
-
-“Mr. Mottisfont said, ‘Don’t be such a damn old maid, Agatha. For the
-Lord’s sake, what’s the good of a woman that can’t mind children?’”
-
-David laughed too. He remembered Miss Agatha’s fussy indignation.
-
-“Good-night, David,” said Elizabeth, and she passed on up the wide,
-shallow stair.
-
-The light went with her. From below there came only a glimmer, for the
-lamp in the hall was still turned low. David went slowly on. As he was
-about to open the front door, Edward Mottisfont came out of the
-dining-room on the left.
-
-“One minute, David,” he said, and took him by the arm. “Look here—I
-think I ought to know. Is my uncle likely to live on indefinitely? Did
-you mean what you said upstairs?”
-
-It was the second time that David Blake had been asked if he meant those
-words. He answered a trifle irritably.
-
-“Why should I say what I don’t mean? He may live three years or he may
-die to-morrow. Why on earth should I say it if I didn’t think it?”
-
-“Oh, I don’t know,” said Edward. “You might have been saying it just to
-cheer the old man up.”
-
-There was a certain serious simplicity about Edward Mottisfont. It was
-this quality in him which his uncle stigmatised as priggishness. Your
-true prig is always self-conscious, but Edward was not at all
-self-conscious. From his own point of view he saw things quite clearly.
-It was other people’s points of view which had a confusing effect upon
-him. David laughed.
-
-“It didn’t exactly cheer him up,” he said. “He isn’t as set on living as
-all that comes to.”
-
-Edward appeared to be rather struck by this statement.
-
-“Isn’t he?” he said.
-
-He opened the door as he spoke, but suddenly closed it again. His tone
-altered. It became eager and boyish.
-
-“David, I _say_—you know Jimmy Larkin was transferred to Assam some
-months ago? Well, I wrote and asked him to remember me if he came across
-anything like specimens. Of course his forest work gives him simply
-priceless opportunities. He wrote back and said he would see what he
-could do, and last mail he sent me——”
-
-“What—a package of live scorpions?”
-
-“No—not specimens—oh, if he could only have sent the specimen—but it was
-the next best thing—a drawing—you remember how awfully well Jimmy drew—a
-coloured drawing of a perfectly new slug.”
-
-Edward’s tone became absolutely ecstatic. He began to rumple up his fair
-hair, as he always did when he was excited. “I can’t find it in any of
-the books,” he said, “and they’d never even heard of it at the Natural
-History Museum. Five yellow bands on a black ground—what do you think of
-that?”
-
-“I should say it was Jimmy, larking,” murmured David, getting the door
-open and departing hastily, but Edward was a great deal too busy
-wondering whether the slug ought in justice to be called after Jimmy, or
-whether he might name it after himself, to notice this ribaldry.
-
-David Blake came out into a clear September night. The sky was cloudless
-and the air was still. Presently there would be a moon. David walked
-down the brightly-lighted High Street, with its familiar shops. Here and
-there were a few new names, but for the most part he had known them all
-from childhood. Half-way down the hill he passed the tall grey house
-which had once had his father’s plate upon the door—the house where
-David was born. Old Mr. Bull lived there now, his father’s partner once,
-retired these eighteen months in favour of his nephew, Tom Skeffington.
-All Market Harford wondered what Dr. Bull could possibly want with a
-house so much too large for him. He used only half the rooms, and the
-house had a sadly neglected air, but there were days, and this was one
-of them, when David, passing, could have sworn that the house had not
-changed hands at all and that the blind of his mother’s room was lifted
-a little as he went by. She used to wave to him from that window as he
-came from school. She wore the diamond ring which David kept locked up
-in his despatch-box. Sometimes it caught the light and flashed. David
-could have sworn that he saw it flash to-night. But the house was all
-dark and silent. The old days were gone. David walked on.
-
-At the bottom of the High Street, just before you come to the bridge, he
-turned up to the right, where a paved path with four stone posts across
-the entrance came into the High Street at right angles. The path ran
-along above the river, with a low stone wall to the left, and a row of
-grey stone houses to the right. Between the wall and the river there
-were trees, which made a pleasant shade in the summer. Now they were
-losing their leaves. David opened the door of the seventh house with his
-latch-key, and went in. That night he dreamed his dream. It was a long
-time now since he had dreamed it, but it was an old dream—one that
-recurred from time to time—one that had come to him at intervals for as
-long as he could remember. And it was always the same—through all the
-years it never varied—it was always just the same.
-
-He dreamed that he was standing upon the seashore. It was a wide, low
-shore, with a long, long stretch of sand that shone like silver under a
-silver moon. It shone because it was wet, still quite wet from the touch
-of the tide. The tide was very low. David stood on the shore, and saw
-the moon go down into the sea. As it went down it changed slowly. It
-became golden, and the sand turned golden too. A wind began to blow in
-from the sea. A wind from the west—a wind that was strong, and yet very
-gentle. At the edge of the sea there stood a woman, with long floating
-hair and a long floating dress. She stood between David and the golden
-moon, and the wind blew out her dress and her long floating hair. But
-David never saw her face. Always he longed to see her face, but he never
-saw it. He stood upon the shore and could not move to go to her. When he
-was a boy he used to walk in his sleep in the nights when he had this
-dream. Once he was awakened by the touch of cold stones under his bare
-feet. And there he stood, just as he had come from bed, on the wet
-door-step, with the front door open behind him. After that he locked his
-door. Now he walked in his sleep no longer, and it was more than a year
-since he had dreamed the dream at all, but to-night it came to him
-again.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III
- DEAD MEN’S SHOES
-
-
- There’s many a weary game to be played
- With never a penny to choose,
- But the weariest game in all the world
- Is waiting for dead men’s shoes.
-
-It was about a week later that Edward Mottisfont rang David Blake up on
-the telephone and begged him in agitated accents, to come to Mr.
-Mottisfont without delay.
-
-“It’s another attack—a very bad one,” said Edward in the hall. His voice
-shook a little, and he seemed very nervous. David thought it was
-certainly a bad attack. He also thought it a strange one. The old man
-was in great pain, and very ill. Elizabeth Chantrey was in the room, but
-after a glance at his patient, David sent her away. As she went she made
-a movement to take up an empty cup which stood on the small table beside
-the bed, and old Mr. Edward Mottisfont fairly snapped at her.
-
-“Leave it, will you—I’ve stopped Edward taking it twice. Leave it, I
-say!”
-
-Elizabeth went out without a word, and Mr. Mottisfont caught David’s
-wrist in a shaky grip.
-
-“D’ you know why I wouldn’t let her take that cup? D’ you know why?”
-
-“No, sir——”
-
-Old Mr. Mottisfont’s voice dropped to a thread. He was panting a little.
-
-“I was all right till I drank that damned tea, David,” he said, “and
-Edward brought it to me—Edward——”
-
-“Come, sir—come—” said David gently. He was really fond of this queer
-old man, and he was distressed for him.
-
-“David, you won’t let him give me things—you’ll look to it. Look in the
-cup. I wouldn’t let ’em take the cup—there’s dregs. Look at ’em, David.”
-
-David took up the cup and walked to the window. About a tablespoonful of
-cold tea remained. David tilted the cup, then became suddenly attentive.
-That small remainder of cold tea with the little skim of cream upon it
-had suddenly become of absorbing interest. David tilted the cup still
-more. The tea made a little pool on one side of it, and all across the
-bottom of the cup a thick white sediment drained slowly down into the
-pool. It was such a sediment as is left by very chalky water. But all
-the water of Market Harford is as soft as rain-water. It is not only
-chalk that makes a sediment like that. Arsenic makes one, too. David put
-down the cup quickly. He opened the door and went out into the passage.
-From the far end Elizabeth Chantrey came to meet him, and he gave her a
-hastily scribbled note for the chemist, and asked her for one or two
-things that were in the house. When he came back into Mr. Mottisfont’s
-room he went straight to the wash-stand, took up a small glass bottle
-labelled ipecacuanha wine and spent two or three minutes in washing it
-thoroughly. Then he poured into it very carefully the contents of the
-cup. He did all this in total silence, and in a very quiet and
-business-like manner.
-
-Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lay on his right side and watched him. His
-face was twisted with pain, and there was a dampness upon his brow, but
-his eyes followed every motion that David made and noted every look upon
-his face. They were intent—alive—observant. Whilst David stood by the
-wash-stand, with his back towards the bed, old Mr. Edward Mottisfont’s
-lips twisted themselves into an odd smile. A gleam of sardonic humour
-danced for a moment in the watching eyes. When David put down the bottle
-and came over to the bed, the gleam was gone, and there was only
-pain—great pain—in the old, restless face. There was a knock at the
-door, and Elizabeth Chantrey came in.
-
-Three hours later David Blake came out of the room that faced old Mr.
-Mottisfont’s at the farther end of the corridor. It was a long, low
-room, fitted up as a laboratory—very well and fully fitted up—for the
-old man had for years found his greatest pleasure and relaxation in
-experimenting with chemicals. Some of his experiments he confided to
-David, but the majority he kept carefully to himself. They were of a
-somewhat curious nature. David Blake came out of the laboratory with a
-very stern look upon his face. As he went down the stair he met with
-Edward Mottisfont coming up. The sternness intensified. Edward looked an
-unspoken question, and then without a word turned and went down before
-David into the hall. Then he waited.
-
-“Gone?” he said in a sort of whisper, and David bent his head.
-
-He was remembering that it was only a week since he had told Edward in
-this very spot that his uncle might live for three years. Well, he was
-dead now. The old man was dead now—out of the way—some one had seen to
-that. Who? David could still hear Edward Mottisfont’s voice asking, “How
-long is he likely to live?” and his own answer, “Perhaps three years.”
-
-“Come in here,” said Edward Mottisfont. He opened the dining-room door
-as he spoke, and David followed him into a dark, old-fashioned room,
-separated from the one behind it by folding-doors. One of the doors
-stood open about an inch, but there was only one lamp in the room, and
-neither of the two men paid any attention to such a trifling
-circumstance.
-
-Edward sat down by the table, which was laid for dinner. Even above the
-white tablecloth his face was noticeably white. All his life this old
-man had been his bugbear. He had hated him, not with the hot hatred
-which springs from one great sudden wrong, but with the cold slow
-abhorrence bred of a thousand trifling oppressions. He had looked
-forward to his death. For years he had thought to himself, “Well, he
-can’t live for ever.” But now that the old man was dead, and the yoke
-lifted from his neck, he felt no relief—no sense of freedom. He felt
-oddly shocked.
-
-David Blake did not sit down. He stood at the opposite side of the table
-and looked at Edward. From where he stood he could see first the white
-tablecloth, then Edward’s face, and on the wall behind Edward, a
-full-length portrait of old Edward Mottisfont at the age of thirty. It
-was the work of a young man whom Market Harford had looked upon as a
-very disreputable young man. He had since become so famous that they had
-affixed a tablet to the front of the house in which he had once lived.
-The portrait was one of the best he had ever painted, and the eyes,
-Edward Mottisfont’s black, malicious eyes, looked down from the wall at
-his nephew, and at David Blake. Neither of the men had spoken since they
-entered the room, but they were both so busy with their thoughts that
-neither noticed how silent the other was.
-
-At last David spoke. He said in a hard level voice:
-
-“Edward, I can’t sign the certificate. There will have to be an
-inquest.”
-
-Edward Mottisfont looked up with a great start.
-
-“An inquest?” he said, “an inquest?”
-
-One of David’s hands rested on the table. “I can’t sign the
-certificate,” he repeated.
-
-Edward stared at him.
-
-“Why not?” he said. “I don’t understand——”
-
-“Don’t you?” said David Blake.
-
-Edward rumpled up his hair in a distracted fashion.
-
-“I don’t understand,” he repeated. “An inquest? Why, you’ve been
-attending him all these months, and you said he might die at any time.
-You said it only the other day. I don’t understand——”
-
-“Nor do I,” said David curtly.
-
-Edward stared again.
-
-“What do you mean?”
-
-“Mr. Mottisfont might have lived for some time,” said David Blake,
-speaking slowly. “I was attending him for a chronic illness, which would
-have killed him sooner or later. But it didn’t kill him. It didn’t have
-a chance. He died of poisoning—arsenic poisoning.”
-
-One of Edward’s hands was lying on the table. His whole arm twitched,
-and the hand fell over, palm upwards. The fingers opened and closed
-slowly. David found himself staring at that slowly moving hand.
-
-“Impossible,” said Edward, and his breath caught in his throat as he
-said it.
-
-“I’m afraid not.”
-
-Edward leaned forward a little.
-
-“But, David,” he said, “it’s not possible. Who—who do you think—who
-would do such a thing? Or—suicide—do you think he committed suicide?”
-
-David drew himself suddenly away from the table. All at once the feeling
-had come to him that he could no longer touch what Edward touched.
-
-“No, I don’t think it was suicide,” he said. “But of course it’s not my
-business to think at all. I shall give my evidence, and there, as far as
-I am concerned, the matter ends.”
-
-Edward looked helplessly at David.
-
-“Evidence?” he repeated.
-
-“At the inquest,” said David Blake.
-
-“I don’t understand,” said Edward again. He put his head in his hands,
-and seemed to be thinking.
-
-“Are you sure?” he said at last. “I don’t see how—it was an attack—just
-like his other attacks—and then he died—you always said he might die in
-one of those attacks.”
-
-There was a sort of trembling eagerness in Edward’s tone. A feeling of
-nausea swept over David. The scene had become intolerable.
-
-“Mr. Mottisfont died because he drank a cup of tea which contained
-enough arsenic to kill a man in robust health,” he said sharply.
-
-He looked once at Edward, saw him start, and added, “and I think that
-you brought him that tea.”
-
-“Yes,” said Edward. “He asked me for it, how could there be arsenic in
-it?”
-
-“There was,” said David Blake.
-
-“Arsenic? But I brought him the tea——”
-
-“Yes, you brought him the tea.”
-
-Edward lifted his head. His eyes behind his glasses had a misty and
-bewildered look. His voice shook a little.
-
-“But—if there’s an inquest—they might say—they might think——”
-
-He pushed his chair back a little way, and half rose from it, resting
-his hands on the table, and peering across it.
-
-“David, why do you look at me like that?”
-
-David Blake turned away.
-
-“It’s none of my business,” he said, “I’ve got to give my evidence, and
-for God’s sake, Edward, pull yourself together before the inquest, and
-get decent legal advice, for you’ll need it.”
-
-Edward was shockingly pale.
-
-“You mean—what do you mean? That people will think—it’s impossible.”
-
-David went towards the door. His face was like a flint.
-
-“I mean this,” he said. “Mr. Mottisfont died of arsenic poisoning. The
-arsenic was in a cup of tea which he drank. You brought him the tea. You
-are undoubtedly in a very serious position. There will have to be an
-inquest.”
-
-Edward had risen completely. He made a step towards David.
-
-“But if you were to sign the certificate—there wouldn’t need to be an
-inquest—David——”
-
-“But I’m damned if I’ll sign the certificate,” said David Blake.
-
-He went out and shut the door sharply behind him.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV
- A MAN’S HONOUR
-
-
- “Will you give me your heart?” she said.
- “Oh, I gave it you long ago,” said he.
- “Why, then, I threw it away,” said she.
- “And what will you give me instead?
- Will you give me your honour?” she said.
-
-“Elizabeth!”
-
-There was a pause.
-
-“Elizabeth—open your door!”
-
-Elizabeth Chantrey came back from a long way off. Mary was calling her.
-Mary was knocking at her door. She got up rather wearily, turned the
-key, and with a little gasp, Mary was in the room, shutting the door,
-and standing with her back against it. The lamp burned low, but
-Elizabeth’s eyes were accustomed to the gloom. Mary Mottisfont’s bright,
-clear colour was one of her great attractions. It was all gone and her
-dark eyes looked darker and larger than they should have done.
-
-“Why, Molly, I thought you had gone home. Edward told me he was sending
-you home an hour ago.”
-
-“He told me to go,” said Mary in a sort of stumbling whisper. “He told
-me to go—but I wanted to wait and go with him. I knew he’d be upset—I
-knew he’d feel it—when it was all over. I wanted to be with him—oh,
-Liz——”
-
-“Mary, what is it?”
-
-Mary put up a shaking hand.
-
-“I’ll tell you—don’t stop me—there’s no time—I’ll tell you—oh, I’m
-telling you as fast as I can.”
-
-She spoke in a series of gasps.
-
-“I went into your little room behind the dining-room. I knew no one
-would come. I knew I should hear any one coming or going. I opened the
-door into the dining-room—just a little——”
-
-“Mary, what _is_ it?” said Elizabeth. She put her arm round her sister,
-but Mary pushed her away.
-
-“Don’t—there’s no time. Let me go on. David came down. He came into the
-dining-room. He talked to Edward. He said, ‘I can’t sign the
-certificate,’ and Edward said, ‘Why not?’ and David said,
-‘Because’—Liz—I can’t—oh, Liz, I can’t—I can’t.”
-
-Mary caught suddenly at Elizabeth’s arm and began to sob. She had no
-tears—only hard sobs. Her pretty oval face was all white and drawn.
-There were dark marks like bruises under her hazel eyes. The little dark
-rings of hair about her forehead were damp.
-
-“Dearest—darling—my Molly dear,” said Elizabeth. She held Mary to her,
-with strong supporting arms, but the shuddering sobs went on.
-
-“Liz—it was poison. He says it was poison. He says there was poison in
-the tea—arsenic poison—and Edward took him the tea. Liz—Liz, why do such
-awful things happen? Why does God let them happen?”
-
-Elizabeth was much taller than her sister—taller and stronger. She
-released herself from the clutching fingers, and let both her hands fall
-suddenly and heavily upon Mary’s shoulders.
-
-“Molly, what are you talking about?” she cried.
-
-Mary was startled into a momentary self-control.
-
-“Mr. Mottisfont,” she said. “David said it was poison—poison, Liz.”
-
-Her voice fell to a low horrified whisper at the word, and then rose on
-the old gasp of, “Edward took him the tea.” A numbness came upon
-Elizabeth. Feeling was paralysed. She was conscious neither of horror,
-anxiety, nor sorrow. Only her brain remained clear. All her
-consciousness seemed to have gone to it, and it worked with an
-inconceivable clearness and rapidity.
-
-“Hush, Mary,” she said. “What are you saying? Edward——”
-
-Mary pushed her away.
-
-“Of course not,” she said. “Liz, if you dared—but you don’t—no one could
-really—Edward of all people. But there’s all the talk, the scandal—we
-can’t have it. It must be stopped. And we’re losing time, we’re losing
-time dreadfully. I must go to David, and stop him before he writes to
-any one, or sees any one. He must sign the certificate.”
-
-Elizabeth stood quite still for a moment. Then she went to the
-wash-stand, poured out a glass of water, and came back to Mary.
-
-“Drink this, Molly,” she said. “Yes, drink it all, and pull yourself
-together. Now listen to me. You can’t possibly go to David.”
-
-“I must go, I must,” said Mary. Her tone hardened. “Will you come with
-me, Liz, or must I go alone?”
-
-Elizabeth took the empty glass and set it down.
-
-“Molly, my dear, you must listen. No—I’m thinking of what’s best for
-every one. You don’t want any talk. If you go to David’s house at this
-hour—well, you can see for yourself. No—listen, my dear. If I ring David
-up, and ask him to come here at once—at _once_—to see me, don’t you see
-how much better that will be?”
-
-Mary’s colour came and went. She stood irresolute.
-
-“Very well,” she said at last. “If he’ll come. If he won’t, then I’ll go
-to him, and I don’t care what you say, Elizabeth—and you must be
-quick—quick.”
-
-They went downstairs in silence. Mr. Mottisfont’s study was in darkness,
-and Elizabeth brought in the lamp from the hall, holding it very
-steadily. Then she sat down at the great littered desk and rang up the
-exchange. She gave the number and they waited. After what seemed like a
-very long time, Elizabeth heard David’s voice.
-
-“Hullo!”
-
-“It is I—Elizabeth,” said Elizabeth Chantrey.
-
-“What is it?”
-
-“Can you come here at once? I want to see you at once. Yes, it is very
-important—important and urgent.”
-
-Mary was in an agony of impatience. “What does he say? Will he come?
-Will he come at once?”
-
-But Elizabeth answered David and not her sister.
-
-“No, presently won’t do. It must be at once. It’s really urgent, David,
-or I wouldn’t ask it. Yes, thank you so much. In my room.”
-
-She put down the receiver, rang off, and turned to Mary.
-
-“He is coming. Had you not better send Edward a message, or he will be
-coming back here? Ring up, and say that you are staying with me for an
-hour, and that Markham will walk home with you.”
-
-In Elizabeth’s little brown room the silence weighed and the time
-lagged. Mary walked up and down, moving
-perpetually—restlessly—uselessly. There was a small Dutch mirror above
-the writing-table. Its cut glass border caught the light, and reflected
-it in diamond points and rainbow flashes. It was the brightest thing in
-the room. Mary stood for a moment and looked at her own face. She began
-to arrange her hair with nervous, trembling fingers. She rubbed her
-cheeks, and straightened the lace at her throat. Then she fell to pacing
-up and down again.
-
-“The room’s so hot,” she said suddenly. And she went quickly to the
-window and flung it open. The air came in, cold and mournfully damp.
-Mary drew half a dozen long breaths. Then she shivered, her teeth
-chattered. She shut the window with a jerk, and as she did so David
-Blake came into the room. It was Elizabeth he saw, and it was to
-Elizabeth that he spoke.
-
-“Is anything the matter? Anything fresh?” Elizabeth moved aside, and all
-at once he saw Mary Mottisfont.
-
-“Mary wants to speak to you,” said Elizabeth. She made a step towards
-the door, but Mary called her sharply. “No, Liz—stay!”
-
-And Elizabeth drew back into the shadowed corner by the window, whilst
-Mary came forward into the light. For a moment there was silence. Mary’s
-hands were clasped before her, her chin was a little lifted, her eyes
-were desperately intent.
-
-“David,” she said in a low fluttering voice, “oh, David—I was in here—I
-heard—I could not help hearing.”
-
-“What did you hear?” asked David Blake. The words came from him with a
-sort of startled hardness.
-
-“I heard everything you said to Edward—about Mr. Mottisfont. You said it
-was poison. I heard you say it.”
-
-“Yes,” said David Blake.
-
-“And Edward took him the tea,” said Mary quickly. “Don’t you see,
-David—don’t you see how dreadful it is for Edward? People who didn’t
-know him might say—they might think such dreadful things—and if there
-were an inquest—” the words came in a sort of strangled whisper. “There
-can’t be an inquest—there _can’t_. Oh, David, you’ll sign the
-certificate, won’t you?”
-
-David’s face had been changing while she spoke. The first hard startled
-look went from it. It was succeeded by a flash of something like horror,
-and then by pain—pain and a great pity.
-
-“No, Mary, dear, I can’t,” he said very gently. He looked at her, and
-further words died upon his lips. Mary came nearer. There was a big
-chair in front of the fireplace, and she rested one hand on the back of
-it. It seemed as if she needed something firm to touch, her world was
-shifting so. David had remained standing by the door, but Mary was not a
-yard away from him now.
-
-“You see, David,” she said, still in that low tremulous voice, “you see,
-David, you haven’t thought—you can’t have thought—what it will mean if
-you don’t. Edward might be suspected of a most dreadful thing. I’m sure
-you haven’t thought of that. He might even”—Mary’s eyes widened—“he
-might even be _arrested_—and tried—and I couldn’t bear it.” The hand
-that rested on the chair began to tremble very much. “I couldn’t _bear_
-it,” said Mary piteously.
-
-“Mary, my dear,” said David, “this is a business matter, and you mustn’t
-interfere—I can’t possibly sign the certificate. Poor old Mr. Mottisfont
-did not die a natural death, and the matter will have to be inquired
-into. No innocent person need have anything to be afraid of.”
-
-“Oh!” said Mary. Her breath came hard. “You haven’t told any one—not
-yet? You haven’t written? Oh, am I too late? Have you told people
-already?”
-
-“No,” said David, “not yet, but I must.”
-
-The tears came with a rush to Mary’s eyes, and began to roll down her
-cheeks.
-
-“No, no, David, no,” she said. Her left hand went out towards him
-gropingly. “Oh, no, David, you mustn’t. You haven’t thought—indeed you
-haven’t. Innocent people can’t always prove that they are innocent. They
-_can’t_. There’s a book—a dreadful book. I’ve just been reading it.
-There was a man who was quite, quite innocent—as innocent as Edward—and
-he couldn’t prove it. And they were going to hang him—David!”
-
-Mary’s voice broke off with a sort of jerk. Her face became suddenly
-ghastly. There was an extremity of terror in every sharpened feature.
-Elizabeth stood quite straight and still by the window. She was all in
-shadow, her brown dress lost against the soft brown gloom of the
-half-drawn velvet curtain. She felt like a shadow herself as she looked
-and listened. The numbness was upon her still. She was conscious as it
-were of a black cloud that overshadowed them all—herself, Mary, Edward.
-But not David. David stood just beyond, and Mary was trying to hold him
-and to draw him into the blackness. Something in Elizabeth’s deadened
-consciousness kept saying over and over again: “Not David, not David.”
-Elizabeth saw the black cloud with a strange internal vision. With her
-bodily eyes she watched David’s face. She saw it harden when Mary looked
-at him, and quiver with pain when she looked away. She saw his hand go
-out and touch Mary’s hand, and she heard him say:
-
-“Mary, I can’t. Don’t ask me.”
-
-Mary put her other hand suddenly on David’s wrist. A bright colour
-flamed into her cheeks.
-
-“David, you used to be fond of me—once—not long ago. You said you would
-do anything for me. Anything in the world. You said you loved me. And
-you said that nowadays a man did not get the opportunity of showing a
-woman what he would do for her. You wanted to do something for me then,
-and I had nothing to ask you. Aren’t you fond of me any more, David?
-Won’t you do anything for me now?—now that I ask you?”
-
-David pulled his hand roughly from her grasp. He pushed past her, and
-crossed the room.
-
-“Mary, you don’t know what you are asking me,” he said in a tone of
-sharp exasperation. “You don’t know what you are talking about. You
-don’t seem to realise that you are asking me to become an accessory
-after the fact in a case of murder.”
-
-Mary shuddered. The word was like a blow. She spoke in a hurried
-whispering way.
-
-“But Edward—it’s for Edward. What will happen to Edward? And to me?
-Don’t you care? We’ve only been married six months. It’s such a little
-time. Don’t you care at all? I never knew such dreadful things could
-happen—not to one’s self. You read things in papers, and you never
-think—you never, never think that a thing like that could happen to
-yourself. I suppose those people don’t all die, but I should die. Oh,
-David, aren’t you going to help us?”
-
-She spoke the last words as a child might have spoken them. Her eyes
-were fixed appealingly upon David’s face. Mary Mottisfont had very
-beautiful eyes. They were hazel in colour, and in shape and expression
-they resembled those of another Mary, who was also Queen of Hearts.
-
-Elizabeth Chantrey became suddenly aware that she was shaking all over,
-and that the room was full of a thick white mist. She groped in the mist
-and found a chair. She made a step forward, and sat down. Then the mist
-grew thinner by degrees, and through it she saw that Mary had come quite
-close to David again. She was looking up at him. Her hands were against
-his breast, and she was saying:
-
-“David—David—David, you said the world was not enough to give me once.”
-
-David’s face was rigid.
-
-“You wouldn’t take what I had to give,” he said very low. He had
-forgotten Elizabeth Chantrey. He saw nothing but Mary’s eyes.
-
-“You didn’t want my love, Mary, and now you want my honour. And you say
-it is only a little thing.”
-
-Mary lifted her head and met his eyes.
-
-“Give it me,” she said. “If it is a great thing, well, I shall value it
-all the more. Oh, David, because I ask it. Because I shall love you all
-my life, and bless you all my life. And if I’m asking you a great
-thing—oh, David, you said that nothing would be too great to give me.
-Oh, David, won’t you give me this now? Won’t you give me this one thing,
-because I ask it?”
-
-As Mary spoke the mist cleared from before Elizabeth’s eyes and the
-numbness that had been upon her changed slowly into feeling. She put
-both hands to her heart, and held them there. Her heart beat against her
-hands, and every beat hurt her. She felt again, and what she felt was
-the sharpest pain that she had ever known, and she had known much pain.
-
-She had suffered when David left Market Harford. She had suffered when
-he ceased to write. She had suffered when he returned only to fall
-headlong in love with Mary. And what she had suffered then had been a
-personal pang, a thing to be struggled with, dominated, and overcome.
-Now she must look on whilst David suffered too. Must watch whilst his
-nerves tautened, his strength failed, his self-control gave way. And she
-could not shut her eyes or look away. She could not raise her thought
-above this level of pain. The black cloud overshadowed them and hid the
-light of heaven.
-
-“Because I ask you, David—David, because I ask you.”
-
-Mary’s voice trembled and fell to a quivering whisper.
-
-Suddenly David pushed her away. He turned and made a stumbling step
-towards the fireplace. His hands gripped the narrow mantelshelf. His
-eyes stared at the wall. And from the wall Mary’s eyes looked back at
-him from the miniature of Mary’s mother. There was a long minute’s
-silence. Then David swung round. His face was flushed, his eyes looked
-black.
-
-“If I do it can you hold your tongues?” he said in a rough, harsh voice.
-
-Mary drew a deep soft breath of relief. She had won. Her hands dropped
-to her side, her whole figure relaxed, her face became soft and young
-again.
-
-“O David, God bless you!” she cried.
-
-David frowned. His brows made a dark line across his face. Every feature
-was heavy and forbidding.
-
-“Can you hold your tongues?” he repeated. “Do you understand—do you
-fully understand that if a word of this is ever to get out it’s just
-sheer ruin to the lot of us? Do you grasp that?”
-
-Elizabeth Chantrey got up. She crossed the room, and stood at David’s
-side, nearly as tall as he.
-
-“Don’t do it, David,” she said, with a sudden passion in her voice.
-
-Mary turned on her in a flash.
-
-“Liz,” she cried; but David stood between.
-
-“It’s none of your business, Elizabeth. You keep out of it.” The tone
-was kinder than the words.
-
-Elizabeth was silent. She drew away, and did not speak again.
-
-“I’ll do it on one condition,” said David Blake. “You’d better go and
-tell Edward at once. I don’t want to see him. I don’t suppose he’s been
-talking to any one—it’s not exactly likely—but if he has the matter’s
-out of my hands. I’ll not touch it. If he hasn’t, and you’ll all hold
-your tongues, I’ll do it.”
-
-He turned to the door and Mary cried: “Won’t you write it now? Won’t you
-sign it before you go?”
-
-David laughed grimly.
-
-“Do you think I go about with my pockets full of death certificates?” he
-said. Then he was gone, and the door shut to behind him.
-
-Elizabeth moved, and spoke.
-
-“I will tell Markham that you are ready to go home,” she said.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V
- TOWN TALK
-
-
- As long as idle dogs will bark, and idle asses bray,
- As long as hens will cackle over every egg they lay,
- So long will folks be chattering,
- And idle tongues be clattering,
- For the less there is to talk about, the more there is to say.
-
-The obituary notices of old Mr. Mottisfont which appeared in due course
-in the two local papers were of a glowingly appreciative nature, and at
-least as accurate as such notices usually are. David could not help
-thinking how much the old gentleman would have relished the fine phrases
-and the flowing periods. Sixty years of hard work were compressed into
-two and a half columns of palpitating journalese. David preferred the
-old man’s own version, which had fewer adjectives and a great deal more
-backbone.
-
-“My father left me nothing but debts—and William. The ironworks were in
-a bad way, and we were on the edge of a bankruptcy. I was twenty-one,
-and William was fifteen, and every one shook their heads. I can see ’em
-now. Well, I gave some folk the rough side of my tongue, and some the
-smooth. I had to have money, and no one would lend. I got a little
-credit, but I couldn’t get the cash. Then I hunted up my father’s
-cousin, Edward Moberly. Rolling he was, and as close as wax. Bored to
-death too, for all his money. I talked to him, and he took to me. I
-talked to him for three days, and he lent me what I wanted, on my note
-of hand, and I paid it all back in five years, and the interest
-up-to-date right along. It took some doing but I got it done. Then the
-thing got a go on it, and we climbed right up. And folks stopped shaking
-their heads. I began to make my mark. I began to be a ‘respected
-fellow-citizen.’ Oh, Lord, David, if you’d known William you’d respect
-me too! Talk about the debts—as a handicap, they weren’t worth
-mentioning in the same breath with William. I could talk people into
-believing I was solvent, but I couldn’t talk ’em into believing that
-William had any business capacity. And I couldn’t pay off William, same
-as I paid off the debts.”
-
-David’s recollections plunged him suddenly into a gulf of black
-depression. Such a plucky old man, and now he was dead—out of the
-way—and he, David, had lent a hand to cover the matter over, and shield
-the murderer. David took the black fit to bed with him at night, and
-rose in the morning with the gloom upon him still. It became a shadow
-which went with him in all his ways, and clung about his every thought.
-And with the gloom there came upon him a horrible, haunting recurrence
-of his old passion for Mary. The wound made by her rejection of him had
-been slowly skinning over, but in the scene which they had shared, and
-the stress of the emotions raised by it, this wound had broken out
-afresh, and now it was no more a deep clean cut, but a festering thing
-that bid fair to poison all the springs of life. At Mary’s bidding he
-had violated a trust, and his own sense of honour. There were times when
-he hated Mary. There were times when he craved for her. And always his
-contempt for himself deepened, and with it the gloom—the black gloom.
-
-“The doctor gets through a sight of whisky these days,” remarked Mrs.
-Havergill, David’s housekeeper. “And a more abstemious gentleman, I’m
-sure I never did live with. Weeks a bottle of whisky ’ud last, unless
-he’d friends in. And now—gone like a flash, as you might say. Only, just
-you mind there’s not a word of this goes out of the ’ouse, Sarah, my
-girl. D’ ye hear?”
-
-Sarah, a whey-faced girl whose arms and legs were set on at uncertain
-angles, only nodded. She adored David with the unreasoning affection of
-a dog, and had he taken to washing in whisky instead of merely drinking
-it, she would have regarded his doing so as quite a right and proper
-thing.
-
-When the local papers had finished Mr. Mottisfont’s obituary notices and
-had lavished all their remaining stock of adjectives upon the funeral
-arrangements, they proceeded to interest themselves in the terms of his
-will. For once, old Mr. Mottisfont had done very much what was expected
-of him. Local charities benefited and old servants were remembered.
-Elizabeth Chantrey was left twenty-five thousand pounds, and everything
-else went to Edward. “To David Blake I leave my sincere respect, he
-having declined to receive a legacy.”
-
-David could almost see the old man grin as he wrote the words, could
-almost hear him chuckle, “Very well, my highfalutin young man—into the
-pillory with you.”
-
-The situation held a touch of sardonic humour beyond old Mr.
-Mottisfont’s contriving, and the iron of it rusted into David’s soul.
-Market Harford discussed the terms of the will with great interest. They
-began to speculate as to what Elizabeth Chantrey would do. When it
-transpired that she was going to remain on in the old house and be
-joined there by Edward and Mary, there was quite a little buzz of talk.
-
-“I assure you he made it a condition—a _secret_ condition,” said old
-Mrs. Codrington in her deep booming voice. “I have it from Mary herself.
-He made it a condition.”
-
-It was quite impossible to disbelieve a statement made with so much
-authority. Mrs. Codrington’s voice always stood her in good stead. It
-had a solidity which served to prop up any shaky fact. Miss Dobell, to
-whom she was speaking, sniffed, and felt a little out of it. She had
-been Agatha Mottisfont’s great friend, and as such she felt that she
-herself should have been the fountainhead of information. As soon as
-Mrs. Codrington had departed Miss Hester Dobell put on her outdoor
-things and went to call upon Mary Mottisfont.
-
-As it was a damp afternoon, she pinned up her skirts all round, and she
-was still unpinning them upon Mary’s doorstep, when the door opened.
-
-“Miss Chantrey is with her sister? Oh, indeed! That is very nice, very
-nice indeed. And Mrs. Mottisfont is seeing visitors, you say? Yes? Then
-I will just walk in—just walk in.”
-
-Miss Dobell came into the drawing-room with a little fluttered run. Her
-faded blue eyes were moist, but not so moist as to prevent her
-perceiving that Mary wore a black dress which did not become her, and
-that Elizabeth had on an old grey coat and skirt, with dark furs, and a
-close felt hat which almost hid her hair. She greeted Mary very
-affectionately and Elizabeth a shade less affectionately.
-
-“I hope you are well, Mary, my dear? Yes? That is good. These sad times
-are very trying. And you, Elizabeth? I am pleased to find that you are
-able to be out. I feared you were indisposed. Every one was saying,
-‘Miss Chantrey must be indisposed, as she was not at the funeral.’ And I
-feared it was the case.”
-
-“No, thank you, I am quite well,” said Elizabeth.
-
-Miss Dobell seated herself, smoothing down her skirt. It was of a very
-bright blue, and she wore with it a little fawn-coloured jacket adorned
-with a black and white braid, which was arranged upon it in loops and
-spirals. She had on also a blue tie, fastened in a bow at her throat,
-and an extremely oddly-shaped hat, from one side of which depended a
-somewhat battered bunch of purple grapes. Beneath this rather
-bacchanalian headgear her old, mild, straw-coloured face had all the
-effect of an anachronism.
-
-“I am so glad to find you both. I am so glad to have the opportunity of
-explaining how it was that I did not attend the funeral. It was a great
-disappointment. Everything so impressive, by all accounts. Yes. But I
-could not have attended without proper mourning. No. Oh, no, it would
-have been impossible. Even though I was aware that poor dear Mr.
-Mottisfont entertained very singular ideas upon the subject of mourning,
-I know how much they grieved poor dear Agatha. They were very singular.
-I suppose, my dear Elizabeth, that it is in deference to poor Mr.
-Mottisfont’s wishes that you do not wear black. I said to every one at
-once—oh, at _once_—‘depend upon it poor Mr. Mottisfont must have
-expressed a _wish_. Otherwise Miss Chantrey would certainly wear
-mourning—oh, certainly. After living so long in the house, and being
-like a daughter to him, it would be only proper, only right and proper.’
-That is what I said, and I am sure I was right. It was his wish, was it
-not?”
-
-“He did not like to see people in black,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“No,” said Miss Dobell in a flustered little voice. “Very strange, is it
-not? But then so many of poor Mr. Mottisfont’s ideas were very strange.
-I cannot help remembering how they used to grieve poor dear Agatha. And
-his views—so sad—so very sad. But there, we must not speak of them now
-that he is dead. No. Doubtless he knows better now. Oh, yes, we must
-hope so. I do not know what made me speak of it. I should not have done
-so. No, not now that he is dead! It was not right, or charitable. But I
-really only intended to explain how it came about that I was not at the
-funeral. It was a great deprivation—a very great deprivation, but I was
-there in spirit—oh, yes, in spirit.”
-
-The purple grapes nodded a little in sympathy with Miss Dobell’s nervous
-agitation. She put up a little hand, clothed in a brown woollen glove,
-and steadied them.
-
-“I often think,” she said, “that I should do well to purchase one black
-garment for such occasions as these. Now I should hardly have liked to
-come here to-day, dressed in colours, had I not been aware of poor dear
-Mr. Mottisfont’s views. It is awkward. Yes, oh, yes. But you see, my
-dear Mary, in my youth, being one of a very large family, we were so
-continually in mourning that I really hardly ever possessed any garment
-of a coloured nature. When I was only six years old I can remember that
-we were in mourning for my grandfather. In those days, my dears, little
-girls, wore, well, they wore—little—hem—white trousers, quite long, you
-know, reaching in fact to the ankle. Under a black frock it had quite a
-garish appearance. And my dear mother, who was very particular about all
-family observances, used to stitch black crape bands upon the
-trouser-legs. It was quite a work. Oh, yes, I assure you. Then after my
-grandfather, there was my great-uncle George, and on the other side of
-the family my great-aunt Eliza. And then there were my uncles, and two
-aunts, and quite a number of cousins. And, later on, my own dear
-brothers and sisters. So that, as you may say, we were never out of
-black at all, for our means were such that it was necessary to wear out
-one garment before another could be purchased. And I became a little
-weary of wearing black, my dears. So when my last dear sister died, I
-went into colours. Not at once, oh, no!”—Miss Dobell became very much
-shocked and agitated at the sound of her own words. “Oh, dear, no. Not,
-of course, until after a full and proper period of mourning, but when
-that was over I went into colours, and have never since possessed
-anything black. You see, as I have no more relations, it is unnecessary
-that I should be provided with mourning.”
-
-Elizabeth Chantrey left her sister’s house in rather a saddened mood.
-She wondered if she too would ever be left derelict. Unmarried women
-were often very lonely. Life went past them down other channels. They
-missed their link with the generations to come, and as the new life
-sprang up it knew them not, and they had neither part nor lot in it.
-When she reached home she sat for a long while very still, forcing her
-consciousness into a realisation of Life as a thing unbroken, one,
-eternal. The peace of it came upon her, and the sadness passed.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI
- THE LETTER
-
-
- Oh, you shall walk in the mummers’ train,
- And dance for a beggar’s boon,
- And wear as mad a motley
- As any under the moon,
- And you shall pay the piper—
- But I will call the tune.
-
-Old Mr. Mottisfont had been dead for about a fortnight when the letter
-arrived. David Blake found it upon his breakfast table when he came
-downstairs. It was a Friday morning, and there was an east wind blowing.
-David came into the dining-room wishing that there were no such thing as
-breakfast, and there, propped up in front of his plate, was the letter.
-He stared at it, and stared again. A series of sleepless or hag-ridden
-nights are not the best preparation for a letter written in a dead man’s
-hand and sealed with a dead man’s seal. If David’s hand was steady when
-he picked up the letter it was because his will kept it steady, and for
-no other reason. As he held it in his hand, Mrs. Havergill came bustling
-in with toast and coffee. David passed her, went into his consulting
-room and shut the door.
-
-“First he went red and then he went white,” she told Sarah, “and he
-pushed past me as if I were a stock, or a post, or something of that
-sort. I ’ope he ’asn’t caught one of them nasty fevers, down in some
-slum. ’Tisn’t natural for a man to turn colour that way. There was only
-one young man ever I knew as did it, William Jones his name was, and he
-was the sexton’s son down at Dunnington. And he’d do it. Red one minute
-and white the next, and then red again. And he went off in a galloping
-decline, and broke his poor mother’s heart. And there’s their two graves
-side by side in Dunnington Churchyard. Mr. Jones, he dug the graves
-hisself, and never rightly held his head up after.”
-
-David Blake sat down at his table and spread out old Mr. Mottisfont’s
-letter upon the desk in front of him. It was a long letter, written in a
-clear, pointed handwriting, which was characteristic and unmistakable.
-
- “My dear David,”—wrote old Mr. Mottisfont,—“My dear David, I have just
- written a letter to Edward—a blameless and beautiful letter—in which I
- have announced my immediate, or, as one might say, approximate
- intention of committing suicide by the simple expedient of first
- putting arsenic into a cup of tea and then drinking the tea. I shall
- send Edward for the tea, and I shall put the arsenic into it, under
- his very nose. And Edward will be thinking of beetles, and will not
- see me do it. I am prepared to bet my bottom dollar that he does not
- see me do it. Edward’s letter, of which I enclose a copy, is the sort
- of letter which one shows to coroners, and jurymen, and legal
- advisers. Of course things may not have gone as far as that, but, on
- the other hand, they may. There are evil-minded persons who may have
- suspected Edward of having hastened my departure to a better world.
- You may even have suspected him yourself, in which case, of course, my
- dear David, this letter will be affording you a good deal of
- pleasurable relief.” David clenched his hand and read on. “Edward’s
- letter is for the coroner. It should arrive about a fortnight after my
- death, if my valued correspondent, William Giles, of New York, does as
- I have asked him. This letter is for you. Between ourselves, then, it
- was that possible three years of yours that decided me. I couldn’t
- stand it. I don’t believe in another world, and I’m damned if I’ll put
- in three years’ hell in this one. Do you remember old Madden? I do,
- and I’m not going to hang on like that, not to please any one, nor I’m
- not going to be cut up in sections either. So now you know all about
- it. I’ve just sent Edward for the tea. Poor Edward, it will hurt his
- feelings very much to be suspected of polishing me off. By the way,
- David, as a sort of last word—you’re no end of a damn fool—why don’t
- you marry the right woman instead of wasting your time hankering after
- the wrong one? That’s all. Here’s luck.
-
- “Yours.
- “E. M. M.”
-
-David read the letter straight through without any change of expression.
-When he came to the end he folded the sheets neatly, put them back in
-the envelope, and locked the envelope away in a drawer. Then his face
-changed suddenly. First, a great rush of colour came into it, and then
-every feature altered under an access of blind and ungovernable anger.
-He pushed back his chair and sprang up, but the impetus which had
-carried him to his feet appeared to receive some extraordinary check.
-His movement had been a very violent one, but all at once it passed into
-rigidity. He stood with every muscle tense, and made neither sound nor
-movement. Slowly the colour died out of his face. Then he took a step
-backwards and dropped again into the chair. His eyes were fixed upon the
-strip of carpet which lay between him and the writing-table. A small,
-twisted scrap of paper was lying there. David Blake looked hard at the
-paper, but he did not see it. What he saw was another torn and twisted
-thing.
-
-A man’s professional honour is a very delicate thing. David had never
-held his lightly. If he had violated it, he had done so because there
-were great things in the balance. Mary’s happiness, Mary’s future,
-Mary’s life. He had betrayed a trust because Mary asked it of him and
-because there was so much in the balance. And it had all been illusion.
-There had been no risk—no danger. Nothing but an old man’s last and
-cruelest jest. And he, David, had been the old man’s dupe. A furious
-anger surged in him. For nothing, it was all for nothing. He had
-wrenched himself for nothing, forfeited his self-respect for nothing,
-sold his honour for nothing. Mary had bidden him, and he had done her
-bidding, and it was all for nothing. A little bleak sunlight came in at
-the window and showed the worn patches upon the carpet. David could
-remember that old brown carpet for as long as he could remember
-anything. It had been in his father’s consulting room. The writing-table
-had been there too. The room was full of memories of William Blake. Old
-familiar words and looks came back to David as he sat there. He
-remembered many little things, and, as he remembered, he despised
-himself very bitterly. As the moments passed, so his self-contempt grew,
-until it became unbearable. He rose, pushing his chair so that it fell
-over with a crash, and went into the dining-room.
-
-Half an hour later Sarah put her head round the corner of the door and
-announced, “Mr. Edward Mottisfont in the consulting room, sir.” David
-Blake was sitting at the round table with a decanter in front of him. He
-got up with a short laugh and went to Edward.
-
-Edward presented a ruffled but resigned appearance. He was agitated, but
-beneath the agitation there was plainly evident a trace of melancholy
-triumph.
-
-“I’ve had a letter,” he began. David stood facing him.
-
-“So have I,” he said.
-
-Edward’s wave of the hand dismissed as irrelevant all letters except his
-own. “But mine—mine was from my uncle,” he exclaimed.
-
-“Exactly. He was obliging enough to send me a copy.”
-
-“You—you know,” said Edward. Then he searched his pockets, and
-ultimately produced a folded letter.
-
-“You’ve had a letter like this? He’s told you? You know?”
-
-“That he’s played us the dirtiest trick on record? Yes, thanks, Edward,
-I’ve been enjoying the knowledge for the best part of an hour.”
-
-Edward shook his head.
-
-“Of course he was mad,” he said. “I have often wondered if he was quite
-responsible. He used to say such extraordinary things. If you remember,
-I asked you about it once, and you laughed at me. But now, of course,
-there is no doubt about it. His brain had become affected.”
-
-David’s lip twitched a little.
-
-“Mad? Oh, no, you needn’t flatter yourself, he wasn’t mad. I only hope
-my wits may last as well. He wasn’t mad, but he’s made the biggest fools
-of the lot of us—the biggest fools. Oh, Lord!—how he’d have laughed. He
-set the stage, and called the cast, and who so ready as we? First
-Murderer—Edward Mottisfont; Chief Mourner—Mary, his wife; and Tom Fool,
-beyond all other Tom Fools, David Blake, M.D. My Lord, he never said a
-truer word than when he wrote me down a damn fool!”
-
-David ended on a note of concentrated bitterness, and Edward stared at
-him.
-
-“I would much rather believe he was out of his mind,” he said
-uncomfortably. “And he is dead—after all, he’s dead.”
-
-“Yes,” said David grimly, “he’s dead.”
-
-“And thanks to you,” continued Edward, “there has been no scandal—or
-publicity. It would really have been dreadful if it had all come out.
-Most—most unpleasant. I know you didn’t wish me to say anything.”
-
-Edward began to rumple his hair wildly. “Mary told me, and of course I
-know it’s beastly to be thanked, and all that, but I can’t help saying
-that—in fact—I _am_ awfully grateful. And I’m awfully thankful that the
-matter has been cleared up so satisfactorily. If we hadn’t got this
-letter, well—I don’t like to say such a thing—but any one of us might
-have come to suspect the other. It doesn’t sound quite right to say it,”
-pursued Edward apologetically, “but it might have happened. You might
-have suspected me—oh, I don’t mean really—I am only supposing, you
-know—or I might have suspected you. And now it’s all cleared up, and no
-harm done, and as to my poor old uncle, he was mad. People who commit
-suicide are always mad. Every one knows that.”
-
-“Oh, have it your own way,” said David Blake. “He was mad, and now
-everything is comfortably arranged, and we can all settle down with
-nothing on our minds, and live happily ever after.”
-
-There was a savage sarcasm in his voice, which he did not trouble to
-conceal.
-
-“And now, look here,” he went on with a sudden change of manner. He
-straightened himself and looked squarely at Edward Mottisfont. “Those
-letters have got to be kept.”
-
-“Now I should have thought—” began Edward, but David broke in almost
-violently.
-
-“For Heaven’s sake, don’t start thinking, Edward.” He said: “Just you
-listen to me. These letters have got to be kept. They’ve got to sit in a
-safe at a lawyer’s. We’ll seal ’em up in the presence of witnesses, and
-send ’em off. We’re not out of the wood yet. If this business were ever
-to leak out—and, after all, there are four of us in it, and two of them
-are women—if it were ever to leak out, we should want these letters to
-save our necks. Yes—our necks. Good Lord, Edward, did you never realise
-your position? Did you never realise that any jury in the world would
-have hanged you on the evidence? It was damning—absolutely damning. And
-I come in as accessory after the fact. No, thank you, I think we’ll keep
-the letters, until we’re past hanging. And there’s another thing—how
-many people have you told? Mary, of course?”
-
-“Yes, Mary, but no one else,” said Edward.
-
-David made an impatient movement.
-
-“If you’ve told her, you’ve told her,” he said. “Now what you’ve got to
-do is this: you’ve got to rub it into Mary that it’s just as important
-for her to hold her tongue now as it was before the letter came. She was
-safe as long as she thought your neck was in danger, but do, for
-Heaven’s sake, get it into her head that I’m dead damned broke, if it
-ever gets out that I helped to hush up a case that looked like murder
-and turned out to be suicide. The law wouldn’t hang me, but I should
-probably hang myself. I’d be _broke_. Rub that in.”
-
-“She may have told Elizabeth,” said Edward hesitatingly. “I’m afraid she
-may have told Elizabeth by now.”
-
-“Elizabeth doesn’t talk,” said David shortly.
-
-“Nor does Mary.” Edward’s tone was rather aggrieved.
-
-“Oh, no woman ever talks,” said David.
-
-He laughed harshly, and Edward went away with his feelings of gratitude
-a little chilled, and a faint suspicion in his mind that David had been
-drinking.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII
- ELIZABETH CHANTREY
-
-
- Whatever ways we walk in and whatever dreams come true,
- You still shall say, “God speed” to me, and I, “God go with you.”
-
-Some days later Elizabeth Chantrey went away for about a month, to pay a
-few long-promised visits. She went first to an old school-friend, then
-to some relations, and lastly to the Mainwarings. Agneta Mainwaring had
-moved to town after her mother’s death, and was sharing a small flat
-with her brother Louis, in a very fashionable quarter. She had been
-engaged for about six months to Douglas Strange, and was expecting to
-marry him as soon as he returned from his latest, and most hazardous
-journey across Equatorial Africa.
-
-“I thought you were never coming,” said Agneta, as they sat in the
-firelight, Louis on the farther side of the room, close to the lamp,
-with his head buried in a book.
-
-“Never, never, _never_!” repeated Agneta, stroking the tail of
-Elizabeth’s white gown affectionately and nodding at every word. She was
-sitting on the curly black hearth-rug, a small vivid creature in a
-crimson dress. Agneta Mainwaring was little and dark, passionate,
-earnest, and frivolous. A creature of variable moods and intense
-affections, steadfast only where she loved. Elizabeth was watching the
-firelight upon the big square sapphire ring which she always wore. She
-looked up from it now and smiled at Agneta, just a smile of the eyes.
-
-“Well, I am here,” she said, and Agneta went on stroking, and exclaimed:
-
-“Oh, it’s so good to have you.”
-
-“The world not been going nicely?” said Elizabeth.
-
-Agneta frowned.
-
-“Oh, so, so. Really, Lizabeth, being engaged to an explorer is the
-_devil_. Sometimes I get a letter two days running, and sometimes I
-don’t get one for two months, and I’ve just been doing the two months’
-stretch.”
-
-“Then,” said Elizabeth, “you’ll soon be getting two letters together,
-Neta.”
-
-“Oh, well, I did get one this morning, or I shouldn’t be talking about
-it,” Agneta flushed and laughed, then frowned again. Three little
-wrinkles appeared upon her nose. “What worries me is that I am such a
-hopeless materialist about letters. Letters are rank materialism. Rank.
-Two people as much in touch with one another as Douglas and I oughtn’t
-to need letters. I’ve no business to be dependent on them. We ought to
-be able to reach one another without them. Of course we do—_really_—but
-we ought to know that we are doing it. We ought to be conscious of it.
-I’ve no business to be dependent on wretched bits of paper, and
-miserable penfuls of ink. I ought to be able to do without them. And I’m
-a blatant materialist. I can’t.”
-
-Elizabeth laughed a little.
-
-“I shouldn’t worry, if I were you. It’ll all come. You’ll get past
-letters when you’re ready to get past them. I don’t think your
-materialism is of a very heavy order. It will go away if you don’t fuss
-over it. We’ll all get past letters in time.”
-
-Agneta tossed her head.
-
-“Oh, I don’t suppose there’ll be any letters in heaven,” she said. “I’m
-sure I trust not. My idea is that we shall sit on nice comfy clouds, and
-play at telephones with thought-waves.”
-
-Louis shut his book with a bang.
-
-“Really, Agneta, if that isn’t materialism.” He came over and sat down
-on the hearth-rug beside his sister. They were not at all alike. Where
-Agneta was small, Louis was large. Her hair and eyes were black, and his
-of a dark reddish-brown.
-
-“I didn’t know you were listening,” she said.
-
-“Well, I wasn’t. I just heard, and I give you fair warning, Agneta, that
-if there are going to be telephones in your heaven, I’m going somewhere
-else. I shall have had enough of them here. Hear the bells, the silver
-bells, the tintinabulation that so musically swells. From the bells,
-bells, bells, bells—bells, bells, bells.”
-
-Agneta first pulled Louis’s hair, and then put her fingers in her ears.
-
-“Stop! stop this minute! Oh, Louis, please. Oh, Lizabeth, make him stop.
-That thing always drives me perfectly crazy, and he knows it.”
-
-“All right. It’s done. I’ve finished. I’m much more merciful than Poe. I
-only wanted to point out that if that was your idea of heaven, it wasn’t
-mine.”
-
-“Oh, good gracious!” cried Agneta suddenly. She sprang up and darted to
-the door.
-
-“What’s the matter?”
-
-“I’ve absolutely and entirely forgotten to order any food for to-morrow.
-Any food whatever. All right, Louis, you won’t laugh when you have to
-lunch on bread and water, and Lizabeth takes the afternoon train back to
-her horrible Harford place, because we have starved her.”
-
-Louis gave a resigned sigh and leaned comfortably back against an empty
-chair. For some moments he gazed dreamily at Elizabeth. Then he said:
-“How nicely your hair shines. I like you all white and gold like that.
-If Browning had known you he needn’t have written. ‘What’s become of all
-the gold, used to hang and brush their bosoms.’ You’ve got your share.”
-
-“But my hair isn’t golden at all, Louis,” said Elizabeth.
-
-Louis frowned.
-
-“Yes, it is,” he said, “it’s gold without the dross—gold spiritualised.
-And you ought to know better than to pretend. You know as well as I do
-that your hair is a thing of beauty. The real joy for ever sort. It’s no
-credit to you. You didn’t make it. And you ought to be properly grateful
-for being allowed to walk about with a real live halo. Why should you
-pretend? If it wasn’t pretence, you wouldn’t take so much trouble about
-doing it. You’d just twist it up on a single hairpin.”
-
-“It wouldn’t stay up,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“I wish it wouldn’t. Oh, Lizabeth, won’t you let it down just for once?”
-
-“No, I won’t,” said Elizabeth, with pleasant firmness.
-
-Louis fell into a gloom. His brown eyes darkened.
-
-“I don’t see why,” he said; and Elizabeth laughed at him.
-
-“Oh, Louis, will you ever grow up?”
-
-Louis assumed an air of dignity. “My last book,” he said, “was not only
-very well reviewed by competent and appreciative persons, but I would
-have you to know that it also brought me in quite a large and solid
-cheque. And my poems have had what is known as a _succès d’estime_,
-which means that you and your publisher lose money, but the critics say
-nice things. These facts, my dear madam, all point to my having emerged
-from the nursery.”
-
-“Go on emerging, Louis,” said Elizabeth, with a little nod of
-encouragement. Louis appeared to be plunged in thought. He frowned, made
-calculations upon his fingers, and finally inquired:
-
-“How many times have I proposed to you, Lizabeth?”
-
-Elizabeth looked at him with amusement.
-
-“I really never counted. Do you want me to?”
-
-“No. I think I’ve got it right. I think it must be eight times, because
-I know I began when I was twenty, and I don’t think I’ve missed a year
-since. This,” said Louis, getting on to his knees and coming nearer,
-“this will be number nine.”
-
-“Oh, Louis, don’t,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“And why not?”
-
-“Because it really isn’t kind. Do you want me to go away to-morrow? If
-you propose to me, and I refuse you, every possible rule of propriety
-demands that I should immediately return to Market Harford. And I don’t
-want to.” Louis hesitated.
-
-“How long are you staying?”
-
-“Nice, hospitable young man. Agneta has asked me to stay for a
-fortnight.”
-
-“All right.” Louis sat back upon his heels. “Let’s talk about books.
-Have you read Pender’s last? It’s a wonder—just a wonder.”
-
- * * * * * * * *
-
-Elizabeth enjoyed her fortnight’s stay very much. She was glad to be
-away from Market Harford, and she was glad to be with Agneta and Louis.
-She saw one or two good plays, had a great deal of talk of the kind she
-had been starving for, and met a good many people who were doing
-interesting things. On the last day of her visit Agneta said:
-
-“So you go back to Market Harford for a year. Is it because Mr.
-Mottisfont asked you to?”
-
-“Partly.”
-
-There was a little pause.
-
-“What are you going to do with your life, Lizabeth?”
-
-Elizabeth looked steadily at the blue of her ring. Her eyes were very
-deep.
-
-“I don’t know, Neta. I’m waiting to be told.”
-
-Agneta nodded, and looked understanding. “And if you aren’t told?”
-
-“I think I shall be.”
-
-“But if not?”
-
-“Well, that would be a telling in itself. If nothing happens before the
-year is up, I shall come up to London, and find some work. There’s
-plenty.”
-
-“Yes,” said Agneta. She put her little pointed chin in her hands and
-gazed at Elizabeth. There was something almost fierce in her eyes. She
-knew very little about David Blake, but she guessed a good deal more.
-And there were moments when it would have given her a great deal of
-pleasure to have spoken her mind on the subject.
-
-They sat for a little while in silence, and then Louis came in, and
-wandered about the room until Agneta exclaimed at him:
-
-“Do, for goodness’ sake, sit down, Louis! You give me the fidgets.”
-
-Louis drifted over to the hearth. “Have you ordered any meals,” he said,
-with apparent irrelevance.
-
-“Tea, dinner, breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner again.” Agneta’s tone
-was vicious. “Is that enough for you?”
-
-“Very well, then, run away and write a letter to Douglas. I believe you
-are neglecting him, and there’s a nice fire in the dining-room.”
-
-Agneta rose with outraged dignity. “I don’t write my love-letters to
-order, thank you,” she said “and you needn’t worry about Douglas. If you
-want me to go away, I don’t mind taking a book into the dining-room.
-Though, if you’ll take my advice—but you won’t—so I’ll just leave you to
-find out for yourself.”
-
-Louis shut the door after her, and came back to Elizabeth.
-
-“Number nine,” he observed.
-
-“No, Louis, don’t.”
-
-“I’m going to. You are in for it, Lizabeth. Your visit is over, so you
-can’t accuse me of spoiling it. Number nine, and a fortnight overdue.
-Here goes. For the ninth time of asking, will you marry me?”
-
-Elizabeth shook her head at him.
-
-“No, Louis, I won’t,” she said.
-
-Louis looked at her steadily.
-
-“This is the ninth time I have asked you. How many times have you taken
-me seriously, Lizabeth? Not once.”
-
-“I should have been so very sorry to take you seriously, you see, Louis
-dear,” said Elizabeth, speaking very sweetly and gently.
-
-Louis Mainwaring walked to the window and stood there in silence for a
-minute or two. Elizabeth began to look troubled. When he turned round
-and came back his face was rather white.
-
-“No,” he said, “you’ve never taken me seriously—never once. But it’s
-been serious enough, for me. You never thought it went deep—but it did.
-Some people hide their deep things under silence—every one can
-understand that. Others hide theirs under words—a great many light
-words. Jests. That’s been my way. It’s a better mask than the other, but
-I don’t want any mask between us now. I want you to understand. We’ve
-always talked about my being in love with you. We’ve always laughed
-about it, but now I want you to understand. It’s me, the whole of me—all
-there is—all there ever will be——”
-
-He was stammering now and almost incoherent. His hand shook. Elizabeth
-got up quickly.
-
-“Oh, Louis dear, Louis dear,” she said. She put her arm half round him,
-and for a moment he leaned his head against her shoulder. When he raised
-it he was trying to smile.
-
-“Oh, Lady of Consolation,” he said, and then, “how you would spoil a man
-whom you loved! There, Lizabeth, you needn’t worry about it. You see,
-I’ve always known that you would never love me.”
-
-“Oh, Louis, but I love you very much, only not just like that.”
-
-“Yes, I know. I’ve always known it and I’ve always known that there was
-some one else whom you did love—just like that. What I’ve been waiting
-for is to see it making you happy. And it doesn’t make you happy. It
-never has. And, lately, there’s been something fresh—something that has
-hurt. You’ve been very unhappy. As soon as you came here I knew. What is
-it? Can’t you tell me?”
-
-Elizabeth sat down again, but she did not turn her eyes away.
-
-“No, Louis, I don’t think I can,” she said.
-
-Louis’s chin lifted.
-
-“Does Agneta know?” he asked with a quick flash of jealousy.
-
-“No, she doesn’t,” said Elizabeth, reprovingly. “And she has never
-asked.”
-
-Louis laughed.
-
-“That’s for my conscience, I suppose,” he said, “but I don’t mind. I can
-bear it a lot better if you haven’t told Agneta. And look here,
-Lizabeth, even if you never tell me a single word, I shall always know
-things about you—things that matter. I’ve always known when things went
-wrong with you, and I always shall.”
-
-It was obviously quite as an afterthought that he added:
-
-“Do you mind?”
-
-“No,” said Elizabeth, slowly, “I don’t think I mind. But don’t look too
-close, Louis dear—not just now. It’s kinder not to.”
-
-“All right,” said Louis.
-
-Then he came over and stood beside her. “Lizabeth, if there’s anything I
-can do—any sort or kind of thing—you’re to let me know. You will, won’t
-you? You’re the best thing in my world, and anything that I can do for
-you would be the best day’s work I ever did. If you’ll just clamp on to
-that we shall be all right.”
-
-Elizabeth looked up, but before she could speak, he bent down, kissed
-her hastily on the cheek, and went out of the room.
-
-Elizabeth put her face in her hands and cried.
-
-“I suppose Louis has been proposing to you again,” was Agneta’s rather
-cross comment. “Lizabeth, what on earth are you crying for?”
-
-“Oh, Neta, do you hate me?” said Elizabeth in a very tired voice.
-
-Agneta knelt down beside her, and began to pinch her arm.
-
-“I would if I could, but I can’t,” she observed viciously. “I’ve tried,
-of course, but I can’t do it by myself, and it’s not the sort of thing
-you can expect religion to be any help in. As if you didn’t know that
-Louis and I simply love your littlest finger-nail, and that we’d do
-anything for you, and that we think it an _honour_ to be your friends,
-and—oh, Lizabeth, if you don’t stop crying this very instant, I shall
-pour all the water out of that big flower-vase down the back of your
-neck!”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII
- EDWARD SINGS
-
-
- “What ails you, Andrew, my man’s son,
- That you should look so white,
- That you should neither eat by day,
- Nor take your rest by night?”
-
- “I have no rest when I would sleep,
- No peace when I would rise,
- Because of Janet’s yellow hair,
- Because of Janet’s eyes.”
-
-When Elizabeth Chantrey returned to Market Harford, she did so with
-quite a clear understanding of the difficulties that lay before her.
-Edward had spoken to her of his uncle’s wishes, and begged her to fulfil
-them by remaining on in the old house as his and Mary’s guest.
-Apparently it never occurred to him that the situation presented any
-difficulty, or that few women would find it agreeable to be guest where
-they had been mistress. Elizabeth was under no illusions. She knew that
-she was putting herself in an almost impossible position, but she had
-made up her mind to occupy that position for a year. She had given David
-Blake so much already, that a little more did not seem to matter.
-Another year, a little more pain, were all in the day’s work. She had
-given many years and had suffered much pain. Through the years, through
-the pain, there had been at the back of her mind the thought, “If he
-needed me, and I were not here.” Elizabeth had always known that some
-day he would need her—not love her—but need her. And for that she
-waited.
-
-Elizabeth returned to Market Harford on a fine November afternoon. The
-sun was shining, after two days’ rain, and Elizabeth walked up from the
-station, leaving her luggage to the carrier. It was quite a short walk,
-but she met so many acquaintances that she was some time reaching home.
-First, it was old Dr. Bull with his square face and fringe of stiff grey
-beard who waved his knobbly stick at her, and waddled across the road.
-He was a great friend of Elizabeth’s, and he greeted her warmly.
-
-“Now, now, Miss Elizabeth, so you’ve not quite deserted us, hey? Glad to
-be back, hey?”
-
-“Yes, very glad,” said Elizabeth, smiling.
-
-“And every one will be glad to see you, all your friends. Hey? I’m glad,
-Edward and Mary’ll be glad, and David—hey? David’s a friend of yours,
-isn’t he? Used to be, I know, in the old days. Prodigious allies you
-were. Always in each other’s pockets. Same books—same walks—same
-measles—” he laughed heartily, and then broke off. “David wants his
-friends,” he said, “for the matter of that, every one wants friends,
-hey? But you get David to come and see you, my dear. He won’t want much
-persuading, hey? Well, well, I won’t keep you. I mustn’t waste your
-time. Now that I’m idle, I forget that other people have business, hey?
-And I see Miss Dobell coming over to speak to you. Now, I wouldn’t waste
-her time for the world. Not for the world, my dear Miss Elizabeth.
-Good-day, good-day, good-day.”
-
-His eyes twinkled as he raised his hat, and he went off at an
-astonishing rate, as Miss Dobell picked her way across the road.
-
-“Such a fine man, Dr. Bull, I always think,” she remarked in her precise
-little way. Every word she uttered had the effect of being enclosed in a
-separate little water-tight compartment. “I really miss him, if I may
-say so. Oh, yes; and I am not the only one of his old patients who feels
-it a deprivation to have lost his services. Oh, no. Young men are so
-unreliable. They begin well, but they are unreliable. Oh, yes, sadly
-unreliable,” repeated Miss Dobell with emphasis.
-
-She and Elizabeth were crossing the bridge as she spoke. Away to the
-left, above the water, Elizabeth could see the sunlight reflected from
-the long line of windows which faced the river. The trees before them
-were almost leafless, and it was easy to distinguish one house from
-another. David Blake lived in the seventh house, and Miss Dobell was
-gazing very pointedly in that direction, and nodding her head.
-
-“I dislike gossip,” she said. “I set my face against gossip, my dear
-Elizabeth, I do not approve of it. I do not talk scandal nor permit it
-to be talked in my presence. But I am not blind, or deaf. Oh, no. We
-should be thankful when we have all our faculties, and mine are
-unimpaired, oh, yes, quite unimpaired, although I am not quite as young
-as you are.”
-
-“Yes?” said Elizabeth.
-
-Miss Dobell became rather flustered. “I have a little errand,” she said
-hurriedly. “A little errand, my dear Elizabeth. I will not keep you, oh,
-no, I must not keep you now. I shall see you later, I shall come and see
-you, but I will not detain you now. Oh, no, Mary will be waiting for
-you.”
-
-“So you have really come,” said Mary a little later.
-
-After kissing her sister warmly, she had allowed a slight air of offence
-to appear. “I had begun to think you had missed your train. I am afraid
-the tea will be rather strong, I had it made punctually, you see. I was
-beginning to think that you hadn’t been able to tear yourself away from
-Agneta after all.”
-
-“Now, Molly—” said Elizabeth, protestingly.
-
-But Mary was not to be turned aside. “Of course you would much rather
-have stayed, I know that. Will you have bread and butter or tea-cake?
-When Mr. Mottisfont died, I said to myself, ‘Now she’ll go and live with
-Agneta, and she might just as well be _dead_.’ That’s why I was quite
-pleased when Edward came and told me that Mr. Mottisfont had said you
-were to stay on here for a year. Of course, as I said to Edward, he had
-no right to make any such condition, and if it had been any one but you,
-I shouldn’t have liked it at all. That’s what I said to Edward—‘It
-really isn’t fair, but Elizabeth isn’t like other people. She won’t try
-and run the house over my head, and she won’t want to be always with
-us.’ You see, married people do like to have their evenings, but as I
-said to Edward, ‘Elizabeth would much rather be in her own little room,
-with a book, than sitting with us.’ And you would, wouldn’t you?”
-
-“Oh, yes,” said Elizabeth laughing.
-
-The spectacle of Mary being tactful always made her laugh.
-
-“Of course when any one comes in in the evening—that’s different. Of
-course you’ll join us then. But you’d rather be here as a rule, wouldn’t
-you?”
-
-“Oh, you know I love my little room. It was nice of you to have tea
-here, Molly,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“Yes, I thought you’d like it. And then I wanted the rest of the house
-to be a surprise to you. When we’ve had tea I want to show you
-everything. Of course your rooms haven’t been touched, you said you’d
-rather they weren’t; but everything else has been done up, and I really
-think it’s very nice. I’ve been quite excited over it.”
-
-“Give me a little more tea, Molly,” said Elizabeth.
-
-As she leaned forward with her cup in her hand, she asked casually:
-“Have you seen much of David lately?”
-
-“Oh, yes,” said Mary, “he’s here very often.” She pursed her lips a
-little. “I think David is a _very_ curious person, Liz. I don’t
-understand him at all. I think he is very difficult to understand.”
-
-“Is he, Molly?”
-
-Elizabeth looked at her sister with something between anxiety and
-amusement.
-
-“Yes, very. He’s quite changed, it seems to me. I could understand his
-being upset just after Mr. Mottisfont’s death. We were all upset then. I
-am sure I never felt so dreadful in my life. It made me quite ill. But
-afterwards,” Mary’s voice dropped to a lower tone, “afterwards when the
-letter had come, and everything was cleared up—well, you’d have thought
-he would have been all right again, wouldn’t you? And instead, he has
-just gone on getting more and more unlike himself. You know, he was so
-odd when Edward went to see him that, really,”—Mary hesitated—“Edward
-thought—well, he wondered whether David had been drinking.”
-
-“Nonsense, Molly!”
-
-“Oh, it’s not only Edward—everybody has noticed how changed he is. Have
-you got anything to eat, Liz? Have some of the iced cake; it’s from a
-recipe of Miss Dobell’s and it’s quite nice. What was I saying? Oh,
-about David—well, it’s true, Liz—Mrs. Havergill told Markham; now, Liz,
-what’s the sense of your looking at me like that? Of _course_ I
-shouldn’t _dream_ of talking to an ordinary servant, but considering
-Markham has known us since we were about two—Markham takes an interest,
-a real interest, and when Mrs. Havergill told her that she was afraid
-David was taking a great deal more than was good for him, and she wished
-his friends could stop it, why, Markham naturally told me. She felt it
-her duty. I expect she thought I might have an _influence_—as I hope I
-have. That’s why I encourage David to come here. I think it’s so good
-for him. I think it makes such a difference to young men if they have a
-nice home to come to, and it’s very good for them to see married people
-fond of each other, and happy together, like Edward and I are. Don’t you
-think so?”
-
-“I don’t know, Molly,” said Elizabeth. “Are people talking about David?”
-
-“Yes, they are. Of course I haven’t said a word, but people are noticing
-how different he is. I don’t see how they can help it, and yesterday
-when I was having tea with Mrs. Codrington, Miss Dobell began to hint
-all sorts of things, and there was quite a scene. You know how devoted
-Mrs. Codrington is! She really quite frightened poor little Miss Hester.
-I can tell you, I was glad that I hadn’t said anything. Mrs. Codrington
-always frightens me. She looks so large, and she speaks so loud. I was
-quite glad to get away.”
-
-“I like Mrs. Codrington,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“Oh, well, so do I. But I like her better when she’s not angry. Oh, by
-the way, Liz, talking of David, do you know that I met Katie Ellerton
-yesterday, and—how long is it since Dr. Ellerton died?”
-
-“More than two years.”
-
-“Well, she has gone quite out of mourning. You know how she went on at
-first—she was going to wear weeds always, and never change anything, and
-as to ever going into colours again, she couldn’t imagine how any one
-could do it! And I met her out yesterday in quite a bright blue coat and
-skirt. What do you think of that?”
-
-“Oh, Molly, you’ve been going out to too many tea-parties! Why shouldn’t
-poor Katie go out of mourning? I think it’s very sensible of her. I have
-always been so sorry for her.”
-
-Mary assumed an air of lofty virtue. “I _used_ to be. But now, I don’t
-approve of her at all. She’s just doing her very best to catch David
-Blake. Every one can see it. If that wretched little Ronnie has so much
-as a thorn in his finger, she sends for David. She’s making herself the
-laughing-stock of the place. I think it’s simply horrid. I don’t approve
-of second marriages at all. I never do see how any really nice-minded
-woman can marry again. And it’s not only the marrying, but to run after
-a man, like that—it’s quite dreadful! I am sure David would be most
-unhappy if he married her. It would be a dreadfully bad thing for him.”
-
-Elizabeth leaned back in her chair.
-
- “How sweet the hour that sets us free
- To sip our scandal, and our tea,”
-
-she observed.
-
-Mary coloured.
-
-“I never talk scandal,” she said in an offended voice, and Elizabeth
-refrained from telling her that Miss Dobell had made the same remark.
-
-All the time that Mary was showing her over the house, Elizabeth was
-wondering whether it would be such a dreadfully bad thing for David to
-marry Katie Ellerton. Ronnie was a dear little boy, and David loved
-children, and Katie—Katie was one of those gentle, clinging creatures
-whom men adore and spoil. If she cared for him, and he grew to care for
-her—Elizabeth turned the possibilities over and over in her mind,
-wondering——
-
-She wondered still more that evening, when David Blake came in after
-dinner. He had changed. Elizabeth looked at him and saw things in his
-face which she only half understood. He looked ill and tired, but both
-illness and weariness appeared to her to be incidental. Behind them
-there was something else, something much stronger and yet more subtle,
-some deflection of the man’s whole nature.
-
-Edward and Mary did not disturb themselves at David’s coming. They were
-at the piano, and Edward nodded casually, whilst Mary merely waved her
-hand and smiled.
-
-David said “How do you do?” to Elizabeth, and sat down by the fire. He
-was in evening dress, but somehow he looked out of place in Mary’s new
-white drawing-room. Edward had put in electric light all over the house,
-and here it shone through rosy shades. The room was all rose and
-white—roses on the chintz, a frieze of roses upon the walls, and a
-rose-coloured carpet on the floor. Only the two lamps over the piano
-were lighted. They shone on Mary. She was playing softly impassioned
-chords in support of Edward, who exercised a pleasant tenor voice upon
-the lays of Lord Henry Somerset. Mary played accompaniments with much
-sentiment. Occasionally, when the music was easy, she shot an adoring
-glance at Edward, a glance to which he duly responded, when not
-preoccupied with a note beyond his compass.
-
-Elizabeth was tolerant of lovers, and Mary’s little sentimentalities,
-like Mary’s airs of virtuous matronhood, were often quite amusing to
-watch; but to-night, with David Blake as a fourth person in the room,
-Elizabeth found amusement merging into irritation and irritation into
-pain. Except for that lighted circle about the piano, the room lay all
-in shadow. There was a soft dusk upon it, broken every now and then by
-gleams of firelight. David Blake sat back in his chair, and the dimness
-of the room hid his face, except when the fire blazed up and showed
-Elizabeth how changed it was. She had been away only a month, and he
-looked like a stranger. His attitude was that of a very weary man. His
-head rested on his hand, and he looked all the time at Mary in the rosy
-glow which bathed her. When she looked up at Edward, he saw the look,
-saw the light shine down into her dark eyes and sparkle there. Not a
-look, not a smile was lost, and whilst he watched Mary, Elizabeth
-watched him. Elizabeth was very glad of the dimness that shielded her.
-It was a relief to drop the mask of a friendly indifference, to be able
-to watch David with no thought except for him. Her heart yearned to him
-as never before. She divined in him a great hunger—a great pain. And
-this hunger, this pain, was hers. The longing to give, to assuage, to
-comfort, welled up in her with a suddenness and strength that were
-almost startling. Elizabeth took her thought in a strong hand, forcing
-it along accustomed channels from the plane where love may be thwarted,
-to that other plane, where love walks unashamed and undeterred, and
-gives her gifts, no man forbidding her. Elizabeth sat still, with folded
-hands. Her love went out to David, like one ripple in a boundless,
-golden sea, from which they drew their being, and in which they lived
-and moved. A sense of light and peace came down upon her.
-
-Edward’s voice was filling the room. It was quite a pleasant voice, and
-if it never varied into expression, at least it never went out of tune,
-and every word was distinct.
-
- “Ah, well, I know the sadness
- That tears and rends your heart,
- How that from all life’s gladness
- You stand far, far apart—”
-
-sang Edward, in tones of the most complete unconcern.
-
-It was Mary who supplied all the sentiment that could be wished for. She
-dwelt on the chords with an almost superfluous degree of feeling, and
-her eyes were quite moist.
-
-At any other time this combination of Edward and Lord Henry Somerset
-would have entertained Elizabeth not a little, but just now there was no
-room in her thoughts for any one but David. The light that was upon her
-gave her vision. She looked upon David with eyes that had grown very
-clear, and as she looked she understood. That he had changed,
-deteriorated, she had seen at the first glance. Now she discerned in him
-the cause of such an alteration—something wrenched and twisted. The
-scene in her little brown room rose vividly before her. When David had
-allowed Mary to sway him, he had parted with something, which he could
-not now recall. He had broken violently through his own code, and the
-broken thing was failing him at every turn. Mary’s eyes, Mary’s voice,
-Mary’s touch—these things had waked in him something beyond the old
-passion. The emotional strain of that scene had carried him beyond his
-self-control. A feverish craving was upon him, and his whole nature
-burned in the flame of it.
-
-Edward had passed to another song.
-
-“One more kiss from my darling one,” he sang in a slightly perfunctory
-manner. His voice was getting tired, and he seemed a little
-absent-minded for a lover who was about to plunge into Eternity. The
-manner in which he requested death to come speedily was a trifle
-unconvincing. As he began the next verse David made a sudden movement. A
-log of wood upon the fire had fallen sharply, and there was a quick
-upward rush of flame. David looked round, facing the glow, and as he did
-so his eyes met Elizabeth’s. Just for one infinitesimal moment something
-seemed to pass from her to him. It was one of those strange moments
-which are not moments of time at all, and are therefore not subject to
-time’s laws. Elizabeth Chantrey’s eyes were full of peace. Full, too, of
-a passionate gentleness. It was a gentleness which for an instant
-touched the sore places in David’s soul with healing, and for that one
-instant David had a glimpse of something very strong, very tender, that
-was his, and yet incomprehensibly withheld from his understanding. It
-was one of those instantaneous flashes of thought—one of those gleams of
-recognition which break upon the dulness of material sense. Before and
-after—darkness, the void, the unstarred night, a chaos of things
-forgotten. But for one dazzled instant, the lightning stab of Truth,
-unrealised.
-
-Elizabeth did not look away, or change colour. The peace was upon her
-still. She smiled a little, and as the moment passed, and the dark
-closed in again upon David’s mind, she saw a spark of rather savage
-humour come into his eyes.
-
-“Then come Eternity——”
-
-“No, that’s enough, Mary, I’m absolutely hoarse,” remarked Edward, all
-in the same breath, and with very much the same expression.
-
-Mary got up, and began to shut the piano. The light shone on her white,
-uncovered neck.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX
- MARY IS SHOCKED
-
-
- Through fire and frost and snow
- I see you go,
- I see your feet that bleed,
- My heart bleeds too.
- I, who would give my very soul for you,
- What can I do?
- I cannot help your need.
-
-That first evening was one of many others, all on very much the same
-pattern. David Blake would come in, after tea, or after dinner, sit for
-an hour in almost total silence, and then go away again. Every time that
-he came, Elizabeth’s heart sank a little lower. This change, this
-obscuring of the man she loved, was an unreality, but how some
-unrealities have power to hurt us.
-
-December brought extra work to the Market Harford doctors. There was an
-epidemic of measles amongst the children, combined with one of influenza
-amongst their elders. David Blake stood the extra strain but ill. He was
-slipping steadily down the hill. His day’s work followed only too often
-upon a broken or sleepless night, and to get through what had to be
-done, or to secure some measure of sleep, he had recourse more and more
-frequently to stimulant. If no patient of his ever saw him the worse for
-drink, he was none the less constantly under its influence. If it did
-not intoxicate him, he came to rely upon its stimulus, and to distrust
-his unaided strength. He could no longer count upon his nerve, and the
-fear of all that nerve failure may involve haunted him continually and
-drove him down.
-
-“Look here, Blake, you want a change. Why don’t you go away?” said Tom
-Skeffington. It was a late January evening, and he had dropped in for a
-smoke and a chat. “The press of work is over now, and I could very well
-manage the lot for a fortnight or three weeks. Will you go?”
-
-“No, I won’t,” said David shortly.
-
-Young Skeffington paused. It was not much after six in the evening, and
-David’s face was flushed, his hand unsteady.
-
-“Look here, Blake,” he said, and then stopped, because David was staring
-at him out of eyes that had suddenly grown suspicious.
-
-“Well?” said David, still staring.
-
-“Well, I should go away if I were you—go to Switzerland, do some winter
-sports. Get a thorough change. Come back yourself again.”
-
-There was ever so slight an emphasis on the last few words, and David
-flashed into sudden anger.
-
-“Mind your own business, and be damned to you, Skeffington,” he cried.
-
-Tom Skeffington shrugged his shoulders.
-
-“Oh, certainly,” he said, and made haste to be gone.
-
-Blake in this mood was quite impracticable. He had no mind for a scene.
-
-David sat on, with a tumbler at his elbow. So they wanted him out of the
-way. That was the third person who had told him he needed a change—the
-third in one week. Edward was one, and old Dr. Bull, and now
-Skeffington. Yes, of course, Skeffington would like him out of the way,
-so as to get all the practice into his own hands. Edward too. Was it
-this morning, or yesterday morning, that Edward had asked him when he
-was going to take a holiday? Now he came to think of it, it was
-yesterday morning. And he supposed that Edward wanted him out of the way
-too. Perhaps he went too often to Edward’s house. David began to get
-angry. Edward was an ungrateful hound. “Damned ungrateful,” said David’s
-muddled brain. The idea of going to see Mary began to present itself to
-him. If Edward did not like it, Edward could lump it. He had been told
-to come whenever he liked. Very well, he liked now. Why shouldn’t he?
-
-He got up and went out into the cold. Then, when he was half-way up the
-High Street he remembered that Edward had gone away for a couple of
-days. It occurred to him as a very agreeable circumstance. Mary would be
-alone, and they would have a pleasant, friendly time together. Mary
-would sit in the rosy light and play to him, not to Edward, and sing in
-that small sweet voice of hers—not to Edward, but to him.
-
-It was a cold, crisp night, and the frosty air heightened the effect of
-the stimulant which he had taken. He had left his own house flushed,
-irritable, and warm, but he arrived at the Mottisfonts’ as unmistakably
-drunk as a man may be who is still upon his legs.
-
-He brushed past Markham in the hall before she had time to do more than
-notice that his manner was rather odd, and she called after him that
-Mrs. Mottisfont was in the drawing-room.
-
-David went up the stairs walking quite steadily, but his brain, under
-the influence of one idea, appeared to work in a manner entirely
-divorced from any volition of his.
-
-Mary was sitting before the fire, in the rosy glow of his imagining. She
-wore a dim purple gown, with a border of soft dark fur. A book lay upon
-her lap, but she was not reading. Her head, with its dark curls, rested
-against the rose-patterned chintz of the chair. Her skin was as white as
-a white rose leaf. Her lips as softly red as real red roses. A little
-amethyst heart hung low upon her bosom and caught the light. There was a
-bunch of violets at her waist. The room was sweet with them.
-
-Mary looked up half startled as David Blake came in. He shut the door
-behind him, with a push, and she was startled outright when she saw his
-face. He looked at her with glazed eyes, and smiled a meaningless and
-foolish smile.
-
-“Edward is out,” said Mary, “he is away.” And then she wished that she
-had said anything else. She looked at the bell, and wondered where
-Elizabeth was. Elizabeth had said something about going out—one of her
-sick people.
-
-“Yes—out,” said David, still smiling. “That’s why I’ve come. He’s
-out—Edward’s out—gone away. You’ll play to me—not to Edward—to-night.
-You’ll sit in this nice pink light and—play to me, won’t you—Mary dear?”
-The words slipped into one another, tripped, jostled, and came with a
-run.
-
-David advanced across the room, moving with caution, and putting each
-foot down slowly and carefully. His irritability had vanished. He felt
-instead a pleasant sense of warmth and satisfaction. He let himself sink
-into a chair and gazed at Mary.
-
-“Le’s sit down—and have nice long talk,” he said in an odd, thick voice;
-“we haven’t had—nice long talk—for months. Le’s talk now.”
-
-Mary began to tremble. Except in the streets, she had never seen a man
-drunk before, and even in the streets, passing by on the other side of
-the road, under safe protection, and with head averted, she had felt
-sick and terrified. What she felt now she hardly knew. She looked at the
-bell. She would have to pass quite close to David before she could reach
-it. Elizabeth—she might ring and ask if Elizabeth had come in. Yes, she
-might do that. She made a step forward, but as she reached to touch the
-bell, David leaned sideways, with a sudden heavy jerk, and caught her by
-the wrist.
-
-“What’s that for?” he asked.
-
-Suspicion roused in him again, and he frowned as he spoke. His face was
-very red, and his eyes looked black. Mary had cried out, when he caught
-her wrist. Now, as he continued to hold it, she stared at him in
-helpless silence. Then quite suddenly she burst into hysterical tears.
-
-“Let me go—oh, let me go! Go away, you’re not fit to be here! You’re
-drunk. Let me go at once! How dare you?”
-
-David continued to hold her wrist, not of any set purpose, but stupidly.
-He seemed to have forgotten to let it go. The heat and pressure of his
-hand, his slow vacant stare, terrified Mary out of all self-control. She
-tried to pull her hand away, and as David’s clasp tightened, and she
-felt her own helplessness, she screamed aloud, and almost as she did so
-the door opened sharply and Elizabeth Chantrey came into the room. She
-wore a long green coat, and dark furs, and her colour was bright and
-clear with exercise. For one startled second she stood just inside the
-room, with her hand upon the door. Then, as she made a step forward,
-David relaxed his grasp, and Mary, wrenching her hand away, ran sobbing
-to meet her sister.
-
-“Oh, Liz! Oh, Liz!” she cried.
-
-Elizabeth was cold to the very heart. David’s face—the heavy, animal
-look upon it—and Mary’s frightened pallor, the terror in her eyes. What
-had happened?
-
-She caught Mary by the arm.
-
-“What is it?”
-
-“He held me—he wouldn’t let me go. He caught my wrist when I was going
-to ring the bell, and held it. Make him go away, Liz.”
-
-Elizabeth drew a long breath of relief. She scarcely knew what she had
-feared, but she felt suddenly as if an intolerable weight had been
-lifted from her mind. The removal of this weight set her free to think
-and act.
-
-“Molly, hush! Do you hear me, hush! Pull yourself together! Do you know
-I heard you scream half-way up the stairs? Do you want the servants to
-hear too?”
-
-She spoke in low, rapid tones, and Mary caught her breath like a child.
-
-“But he’s tipsy, Liz. Oh, Liz, make him go away,” she whispered.
-
-David had got upon his feet. He was looking at the two women with a
-puzzled frown.
-
-“What’s the matter?” he said slowly, and Mary turned on him with a
-sudden spurt of temper.
-
-“I wonder you’re not ashamed,” she said in rather a trembling voice. “I
-do wonder you’re not—and will you please go away at once, or do you want
-the servants to come in, and every one to know how disgracefully you
-have behaved?”
-
-“Molly, hush!” said Elizabeth again.
-
-Her own colour died away, leaving her very pale. Her eyes were fixed on
-David with a look between pity and appeal. She left Mary and went to
-him.
-
-“David,” she said, putting her hand on his arm, “won’t you go home now?
-It’s getting late. It’s nearly dinner time, and I’m afraid we can’t ask
-you to stay to-night.”
-
-Something in her manner sobered David a little. Mary had screamed—why?
-What had he said to her—or done? She was angry. Why? Why did Elizabeth
-look at him like that? His mind was very much confused. Amid the
-confusion an idea presented itself to him. They thought that he was
-drunk. Well, he would show them, he would show them that he was not
-drunk. He stood for a moment endeavouring to bring the confusion of his
-brain into something like order. Then without a word he walked past
-Mary, and out of the room, walking quite steadily because a sober man
-walks steadily and he had to show them that he was sober.
-
-Mary stood by the door listening. “Liz,” she whispered, “he hasn’t gone
-down-stairs.” Her terror returned. “Oh, what is he doing? He has gone
-down the passage to Edward’s room. Oh, do you think he’s safe? Liz, ring
-the bell—do ring the bell.”
-
-Elizabeth shook her head. She came forward and put her hand on Mary’s
-shoulder.
-
-“No, Molly, it’s all right,” she said. She, too, listened, but Mary
-broke in on the silence with half a sob.
-
-“You don’t know how he frightened me. You don’t know how dreadful he
-was—like a great stupid animal. Oh, I don’t know how he dared to come to
-me like that. And my wrist aches still, it does, indeed. Oh! Liz, he’s
-coming back.”
-
-They heard his steps coming along the passage, heavy, deliberate steps.
-Mary moved quickly away from the door, but Elizabeth stood still, and
-David Blake touched her dress as he came back into the room and shut the
-door behind him. His hair was wet from a liberal application of cold
-water. His face was less flushed and his eyes had lost the vacant look.
-He was obviously making a very great effort, and as obviously Mary had
-no intention of responding to it. She stood and looked at him, and
-ceased to be afraid. This was not the stranger who had frightened her.
-This was David Blake again, the man whom she could play upon, and
-control. The fright in her eyes gave place to a dancing spark of anger.
-
-“I thought I asked you to go away,” she said, and David winced at the
-coldness of her voice.
-
-“Will you please go?”
-
-“Mary——”
-
-“If you want to apologise you can do so later—when you are _fit_,” said
-Mary, her brows arched over very scornful eyes.
-
-David was still making a great effort at self-control. He had turned
-quite white, and his eyes had rather a dazed look.
-
-“Mary, don’t,” he said, and there was so much pain in his voice that
-Elizabeth made a half step towards him, and then stopped, because it was
-not any comfort of hers that he desired.
-
-Mary’s temper was up, and she was not to be checked. She meant to have
-her say, and if it hurt David, why, so much the better. He had given her
-a most dreadful fright, and he deserved to be hurt. It would be very
-good for him. Anger reinforced by a high moral motive is indeed a potent
-weapon. Mary wielded it unmercifully.
-
-“Don’t—don’t,” she said. “Oh, of course not. You behave
-disgracefully—you take advantage of Edward’s being away—you come here
-drunk—and I’m not to say a word——”
-
-Her eyes sparkled, and her head was high. She gave a little angry laugh,
-and turned towards the bell.
-
-“Will you go, please, or must I ring for Markham?”
-
-At her movement, and the sound of her laughter, David’s self-control
-gave way, suddenly and completely. The blood rushed violently to his
-head. He took a long step towards her, and she stopped where she was in
-sheer terror.
-
-“You laugh,” he said, in a low tone of concentrated passion—“you
-laugh——”
-
-Then his voice leaped into fury. “I’ve sold my soul for you, and you
-laugh. I’m in hell for you, and you laugh. I’m drunk, and you laugh. My
-God, for that at least you shall never laugh at me again. By God, you
-shan’t——”
-
-He stood over her for a moment, looking down on her with terrible eyes.
-Then he turned and went stumbling to the door, and so out, and, in the
-dead silence that followed, they heard the heavy front door swing to
-behind him.
-
-Mary was clinging to a chair.
-
-“Oh, Liz,” she whispered faintly, but Elizabeth turned and went out of
-the room without a single word.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X
- EDWARD IS PUT OUT
-
-
- That which the frost can freeze,
- That which is burned of the fire,
- Cast it down, it is nothing worth
- In the ways of the Heart’s Desire.
-
- Foot or hand that offends,
- Eye that shrinks from the goal,
- Cast them forth, they are nothing worth,
- And fare with the naked soul.
-
-Mary did not tell Edward about the scene with David Blake.
-
-“You know, Liz, he behaved shamefully, but I don’t want there to be a
-quarrel with Edward, and it would be sure to make a quarrel. And then
-people would talk, and there’s no knowing what they would say. I think
-it would be perfectly dreadful to be talked about. I’m sure I can’t
-think how Katie Ellerton can stand it. Really, every one is talking
-about her.”
-
-In her heart of hearts Mary was a little flattered at David’s last
-outburst. She would not for the world have admitted that this was the
-case, but it certainly contributed to her resolution not to tell Edward.
-
-“I suppose some people would never forgive him,” she said to Elizabeth,
-“but I don’t think that’s right, do you? I don’t think it’s at all
-Christian. I don’t think one ought to be hard. He might do something
-desperate. I saw him go into Katie Ellerton’s only this morning. I think
-I’ll write him a little note, not referring to anything of course, and
-ask him if he won’t come in to supper on Sundays. Then he’ll see that I
-mean to forgive him, and there won’t be any more fuss.”
-
-Sunday appeared to be quite a suitable day upon which to resume the rôle
-of guardian angel. Mary felt a pleasant glow of virtue as she wrote her
-little note and sent it off to David.
-
-David Blake did not accept either the invitation or the olive branch.
-His anger against Mary was still stronger than his craving for her
-presence. He wrote a polite excuse and sat all that evening with his
-eyes fixed upon a book, which he made no pretence of reading. He had
-more devils than one to contend with just now. David had a strong will,
-and he was putting the whole strength of it into fighting the other
-craving, the craving for drink. In his sudden heat of passion he had
-taken an oath that he meant to keep. He had been drunk, and Mary had
-laughed at him. Neither Mary nor any one else should have that cause for
-mocking laughter again, and he sat nightly with a decanter at his elbow.
-
-“And,” as Mrs. Havergill remarked, “never touching a mortal drop,”
-because if he was to down the devil at all he meant to down him in a set
-battle, and not to spend his days in ignominious flight.
-
-Mrs. Havergill prognosticated woe to Sarah, with a mournful zest.
-
-“Them sudden changes isn’t ’olesome, and I don’t hold with them, Sarah,
-my girl. One young man I knew, Maudsley ’is name was, he got the
-’orrors, and died a-raving. And all through being cut off his drink too
-sudden. He broke ’is leg, and ’is mother, she said, ‘Now I’ll break ’im
-of the drink.’ A very strict Methody woman, were Jane Ann Maudsley. ‘Now
-I’ll break ’im,’ says she; and there she sits and watches ’im, and the
-pore feller ’ollering for whisky, just fair ’ollering. ‘Gemme a drop,
-Mother,’ says he. ‘Not I,’ says she. ‘It’s ’ell fire, William,’ says
-she. ‘I’m all on fire now, Mother,’ says he. ‘Better burn now than in
-’ell, William,’ says Jane Ann; and then the ’orrors took him, and he
-died. A fine, proper young man as ever stepped, and very sweet on me
-before I took up with Havergill,” concluded Mrs. Havergill meditatively,
-whilst Sarah shivered, and wished, as she afterwards confessed to a
-friend, “that Mrs. Havergill would be more cheerful like—just once in a
-way, for a change, as it were.”
-
-“For she do fair give a girl the ’ump sometimes,” concluded Sarah, after
-what was for her quite a long speech.
-
-Mrs. Havergill was a very buxom and comely person of unimpeachable
-respectability, but her fund of doleful reminiscence had depressed more
-than Sarah. David had been known to complain of it between jest and
-earnest. On one such occasion, at a tea-party to which Mary Chantrey had
-inveigled him, Miss Dobell ventured a mild protest.
-
-“But she is such a treasure. Oh, yes. Your dear mother always found her
-so.”
-
-David winced a little. His mother had not been dead very long then. He
-regarded Miss Dobell with gravity.
-
-“I have always wondered,” he said, “whether it was an early
-apprenticeship to a ghoul which has imparted such a mortuary turn to
-Mrs. Havergill’s conversation, or whether it is due to the fact of her
-having a few drops of Harvey’s Sauce in her veins.”
-
-“Harvey’s Sauce?” inquired the bewildered Miss Dobell.
-
-David explained in his best professional manner.
-
-“I said Harvey’s Sauce because it is an old and cherished belief of mind
-that the same talented gentleman invented the sauce and composed the
-well-known ‘Meditations among the Tombs.’ The only point upon which I
-feel some uncertainty is this: Did he compose the Meditations because
-the sauce had disagreed with him, or did he invent the sauce as a sort
-of cheerful antidote to the Meditations? Now which do you suppose, Miss
-Dobell?”
-
-Miss Dobell became very much fluttered.
-
-“Oh, I’m afraid—” she began. “I really had no idea that Harvey’s Sauce
-was an unwholesome condiment. Yes, indeed, I fear that I cannot be of
-any great assistance, or in fact of any assistance at all. No, oh, no. I
-fear, Dr. Blake, that you must ask some one else who is better informed
-than myself. Oh, yes.”
-
-Afterwards she confided to Mary Chantrey that she had never heard of the
-work in question. “Have you, my dear?”
-
-“No, never,” said Mary, who was not greatly attracted by the title.
-Girls of two-and-twenty with a disposition to meditate among the tombs
-are mercifully rare.
-
-“But,” pursued little Miss Dobell with a virtuous lift of the chin, “the
-title has a religious sound—yes, quite a religious sound. I hope, oh,
-yes, indeed, I hope that Dr. Blake has no dreadful sceptical opinions.
-They are so very shocking,” and Mary said, “Yes, they are, and I hope
-not, too.” Even in those days she was a little inclined to play at being
-David’s guardian angel.
-
-Those days were two years old now. Sometimes it seemed to David that
-they belonged to another life.
-
-Meanwhile he had his devil to fight. In the days that followed he fought
-the devil, and beat him, but without either pride or pleasure in the
-victory, for, deprived of stimulant, he fell again into the black pit of
-depression. Insomnia stood by his pillow and made the nights longer and
-more dreadful than the longest, gloomiest day.
-
-Mary met him in the High Street one day, and was really shocked at his
-looks. She reproached herself for neglecting him, smiled upon him
-sweetly, and said:
-
-“Oh, David, do come and see us. Edward will be so pleased. He got a
-parcel of butterflies from Java last week, and he would so much like you
-to see them. He was saying so only this morning.”
-
-David made a suitable response. His anger was gone. Mary was Mary. If
-she were unkind, she was still Mary. If she were trivial, foolish,
-cruel, what did it matter? Her voice made his blood leap, her eyes were
-like wine, her hand played on his pulses, and he asked nothing more than
-to feel that soft touch, and answer to it, with every high-strung nerve.
-He despised her a little, and himself a good deal, and when a man’s
-passion for a woman is mingled with contempt, it goes but ill with his
-soul.
-
-That evening saw him again in his old place. He came and went as of old,
-and, as of old, his fever burned, and burning, fretted away both health
-and self-respect. He slept less and less, and if sleep came at all, it
-was so thin, so haunted by ill dreams, that waking was a positive
-relief. At least when he waked he was still sane, but in those dreams
-there lurked an impending horror that might at any moment burst the
-gloom, and stare him mad. It was madness that he feared in the days
-which linked that endless procession of long, unendurable nights. It was
-about this time that he began to be haunted by a strange vision, which,
-like the impending terror, lay just beyond the bounds of consciousness.
-As on the one side madness lurked, so on the other there were hints,
-stray gleams, as it were, from some place of peace. And the strange
-thing about it was, that at these moments a conviction would seize him
-that this place was his by right. His the deep waters of comfort, and
-his the wide, unbroken fields of peace, his—but lost.
-
-Yet during all this time David went about his work, and if his patients
-thought him looking ill, they had no reason to complain either of
-inefficiency or neglect. His work was in itself a stimulant to him, a
-stimulant which braced his nerves and cleared his brain during the time
-that he was under its influence, and then resulted, like all stimulants,
-in a reaction of fatigue and nervous strain.
-
-In the first days of March, Elizabeth Chantrey had a visit from old Dr.
-Bull. He sat and had tea with her in her little brown room, and talked
-about the mild spring weather and the show of buds upon the apple tree
-in his small square of garden. He also told her that Mrs. Codrington had
-three broods of chickens out, a fact of which Elizabeth had already been
-informed by Mrs. Codrington herself. When Dr. Bull had finished dealing
-with the early chickens, he asked for another cup of tea, took a good
-pull at it, wiped his square beard with a very brilliant
-pocket-handkerchief in which the prevailing colours were sky-blue and
-orange, and remarked abruptly:
-
-“Why don’t you get David Blake to go away, hey?—hey?”
-
-Elizabeth frowned a little. This was getting to close quarters.
-
-“I?” she said, with a note of gentle surprise in her voice.
-
-Dr. Bull was quite ready for her. “You is the second person plural—or
-used to be when I went to school. You, and Mary, and Edward, you’re his
-friends, aren’t you?—and two of you are women, so he’ll have to be
-polite, hey? Can’t bite your heads off the way he bit off mine, when I
-suggested that a holiday ’ud do him good. And he wants a holiday, hey?”
-
-Elizabeth nodded.
-
-“He ought to go away,” she said.
-
-“He’ll break down if he doesn’t,” said Dr. Bull. He finished his cup of
-tea, and held it out. “Yes, another, please. You make him go, and he’ll
-come back a new man. What’s the good of being a woman if you can’t
-manage a man for his good?”
-
-Elizabeth thought the matter over for an hour, and then she spoke to
-Edward.
-
-“He won’t go,” said Edward, with a good deal of irritation. “I asked him
-some little time ago whether he wasn’t going to take a holiday. Now what
-is there in that to put any one’s back up? And yet, I do assure you, he
-looked at me as if I had insulted him. Really, Elizabeth, I can’t make
-out what has happened to David. He never used to be like this. And he
-comes here too often, a great deal too often. I shall have to tell him
-so, and then there’ll be a row, and I simply hate rows. But really, a
-man in his state, always under one’s feet—it gets on one’s nerves.”
-
-“Edward is getting dreadfully put out,” said Mary the same evening. She
-had come down to Elizabeth’s room to borrow a book, and lingered for a
-moment or two, standing by the fire and holding one foot to the blaze.
-It was a night of sudden frost after the mild spring day.
-
-“How cold it has turned,” said Mary. “Yes, I really don’t know what to
-do. If Edward goes on being tiresome and jealous”—she bridled a little
-as she spoke—“if he goes on—well, David will just have to stay away, and
-I’m afraid he will feel it. I am afraid it may be bad for him. You know
-I have always hoped that I was being of some use to David—I have always
-wanted to have an influence—a good influence does make such a
-difference, doesn’t it? I’ve never flirted with David—I really
-haven’t—you know that, Liz?”
-
-“No,” said Elizabeth slowly. “You haven’t flirted with him, Molly, my
-dear, but I think you are in rather a difficult position for being a
-good influence. You see, David is in love with you, and I think it would
-be better for him if he didn’t see you quite so often.”
-
-Mary’s colour rose.
-
-“I can’t help his being—fond of me,” she said, with a slight air of
-offended virtue. “I am sure I don’t know what you mean by my not being
-good for him. If it weren’t for me he might be drinking himself to death
-at this very moment. You know how he was going on, and I am sure you
-can’t have forgotten how dreadful he was that night he came here. I let
-him see how shocked I was. I know you were angry with me, and I thought
-it very unreasonable of you, because I did it on purpose, and it stopped
-him. You may say what you like, Liz, but it stopped him. Mrs. Havergill
-told Markham—yes, I know you don’t think I ought to talk to Markham
-about David, but she began about it herself, and she is really
-interested, and thought I would like to know—well, she says David has
-never touched a drop since. Mrs. Havergill told her so. So you see, Liz,
-I haven’t always been as bad for David as you seem to think. I don’t
-know if you want him to go and marry Katie Ellerton, just out of pique.
-She’s running after him worse than ever—I really do wonder she isn’t
-ashamed, and if David’s friends cast him off, well, she’ll just snap him
-up, and then I should think you’d be sorry.”
-
-Elizabeth leaned her chin in her hand, and was silent for a moment. Then
-she said: “Molly, dear, why should we try and prevent David from going
-to see Katie Ellerton? He is in love with you, and it is very bad for
-him. If he saw less of you for a time it would give him a chance of
-getting over it. David is very unhappy just now. No one can fail to see
-that. He wants what you can’t give him—rest, companionship, a home. If
-Katie cares for him, and can give him these things, let her give them.
-We have no business to stand in the way. Don’t you see that?”
-
-Elizabeth spoke sweetly and persuasively. She kept her eyes on her
-sister’s face, and saw there, first, offence, and then interest—the
-birth of a new idea.
-
-“Oh, well—if you don’t mind,” said Mary. “You are nearly as tiresome as
-Edward and Edward has been most dreadfully tiresome. I told him so. I
-said, ‘Edward, I really never knew you could be so tiresome,’ and it
-seemed to make him _worse_. I think, you know, that he is afraid that
-people will talk if David goes on coming here. Of course, that’s absurd,
-I told him it was absurd. I said, ‘Why, how on earth is any one to know
-that it isn’t Elizabeth he comes to see?’ And then, Edward became really
-violent. I didn’t know he could be, but he was. He simply plunged up and
-down the room, and said: ‘If he wants to see Elizabeth, then in Heaven’s
-name let him see Elizabeth. Let him _marry_ Elizabeth.’ Oh, you mustn’t
-mind, Liz,” as Elizabeth’s head went up, “it was only because he was so
-cross, and you and David are such old friends. There’s nothing for you
-to _mind_.”
-
-She paused, stole a quick glance at Elizabeth, then looked away, and
-said in a tentative voice, “Liz, why don’t you marry David?”
-
-“Because he doesn’t want me to, Molly,” said Elizabeth. Her voice was
-very proud, and her head very high.
-
-Mary half put out her hand, and drew it back again. She knew this mood
-of Elizabeth’s, and it was one that silenced even her ready tongue. She
-was the little sister again for a moment, and Elizabeth the mother,
-sister, and ideal—all in one.
-
-“Liz, I’m sorry,” she said in quite a small, humble voice.
-
-When she had gone, Elizabeth sat on by the fire. She did not move for a
-long time. When she did move, it was to put up a hand to her face, which
-was wet with many hot, slow tears. Pride dies hard, and hurts to the
-very last.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI
- FORGOTTEN WAYS
-
-
- I have forgotten all the ways of sleep,
- The endless, windless silence of my dream,
- The milk-white poppy meadows and the stream,
- The dreaming water soft and still and deep—
- I have forgotten how that water flows,
- I have forgotten how the poppy grows,
- I have forgotten all the ways of sleep.
-
-It was on an afternoon, a few days later, that David came into the hall
-of the Mottisfonts’ house.
-
-“Lord save us, he do look bad,” was the thought in Markham’s mind as she
-let him in. Aloud she said that she thought Mrs. Mottisfont was just
-going out. As she spoke, Mary came down the stairs, bringing with her a
-sweet scent of violets.
-
-Mary was very obviously going out. She wore a white cloth dress, with
-dark furs, and there was a large bunch of mauve and white violets at her
-breast. She looked a little vexed when she saw David.
-
-“Oh,” she said, “I am just going out. I am so sorry, but I am afraid I
-must. Bazaars are tiresome things, but one must go to them, and I
-promised Mrs. Codrington that I would be there early. Elizabeth is in.
-She’ll give you some tea. Markham, will you please tell Miss Elizabeth?”
-
-David came forward as she was speaking. There was a window above the
-front door, and as he came out of the shadow, and the light fell on his
-face, he saw Mary start a little. Her expression changed, and she said
-in a hesitating manner:
-
-“Of course, Elizabeth may be busy, or she may be going out—I really
-don’t know. Perhaps you had better come another day, David.”
-
-He read her clearly enough. She thought that he had been drinking, and
-hesitated to leave him with her sister. He had been about to say that he
-could not stop, but her suspicion raised a devil of obstinacy in him,
-and as Elizabeth came out of her room by way of the dining-room, he
-advanced to meet her, saying:
-
-“Will you give me some tea, Elizabeth, or are you too busy?”
-
-“Liz, come here,” said Mary quickly. Her colour had risen at David’s
-tone. She drew Elizabeth a little aside. “Liz, you’d better not,” she
-whispered, “he looks so queer.”
-
-“Nonsense, Molly.”
-
-“I wish you wouldn’t——”
-
-“My dear Molly, are you going to begin to chaperone me?”
-
-Mary tossed her head.
-
-“Oh, if you don’t _mind_,” she said angrily, and went out, leaving
-Elizabeth with an odd sense of anticipation.
-
-Elizabeth found David standing before the writing-table, and looking at
-himself in the little Dutch mirror which hung above it. He turned as she
-came in.
-
-“Well,” he said bitterly, “has Mary renounced the Bazaar in order to
-stay and protect you? I’m not really as dangerous as she seems to think,
-though I am willing to admit that I am not exactly ornamental. Give me
-some tea, and I’ll not inflict myself on you for long.”
-
-Elizabeth smiled.
-
-“You know very well that I like having you here,” she said in her
-friendly voice. “Look at my flowers. Aren’t they well forward? I really
-think that everything is a fortnight before its time this year. No, not
-that chair, David. This one is much more comfortable.”
-
-Markham was coming in with the tea as Elizabeth spoke. David sat silent.
-He watched the tiny flame of the spirit-lamp, the mingled flicker of
-firelight and daylight upon the silver, and the thin old china with its
-branching pattern of purple and yellow flowers. He drank as many cups of
-tea as Elizabeth gave him, and she talked a little in a desultory
-manner, until he had finished, and then sat in a silence that was not
-awkward, but companionable.
-
-David made no effort to move, or speak. This was a pleasant room of
-Elizabeth’s. The brown panels were warm in the firelight. They made a
-soft darkness that had nothing gloomy about it, and the room was full of
-flowers. The great brown crock full of daffodils stood on the
-window-ledge, and on the table which filled the angle between the window
-and the fireplace was another, in which stood a number of the tall
-yellow tulips which smell like Maréchal-Niel roses. Elizabeth’s dress
-was brown, too. It was made of some soft stuff that made no sound when
-she moved. The room was very still, and very sweet, and the sweetness
-and the stillness were very grateful to David Blake. The thought came to
-him suddenly, that it was many years since he had sat like this in
-Elizabeth’s room, and the silence had companioned them. Years ago he had
-been there often enough, and they had talked, read, argued, or been
-still, just as the spirit of the moment dictated. They had been good
-comrades, then, in the old days—the happy days of youth.
-
-He looked across at Elizabeth and said suddenly:
-
-“You are a very restful woman, Elizabeth.”
-
-She smiled at him without moving, and answered:
-
-“I am glad if I rest you, David—I think you need rest.”
-
-“You sit so still. No one else sits so still.”
-
-Elizabeth laughed softly.
-
-“That sounds as if I were a very inert sort of person,” she said.
-
-David frowned a little.
-
-“No, it’s not that. It is strength—force—stability. Only strong things
-keep still like that.”
-
-This was so like the old David, that it took Elizabeth back ten years at
-a leap. She was silent for a moment, gathering her courage. Then she
-said:
-
-“David, you do need rest, and a change. Why don’t you go away?”
-
-She had thought he would be angry, but he was not angry. Instead, he
-answered her as the David of ten years ago might have done, with a
-misquotation.
-
-“What is the good of a change? It’s a case of—I myself am my own Heaven
-and Hell”; and his voice was the voice of a very weary man.
-
-Elizabeth’s eyes dwelt on him with a deep considering look.
-
-“Yes, that’s true,” she said. “One has to find oneself. But it is easier
-to find oneself in clear country than in a fog. This place is not good
-for you, David. When I said you wanted a change, I didn’t mean just for
-a time—I meant altogether. Why don’t you go right away—leave it all
-behind you, and start again?”
-
-He looked at her as if he might be angry, if he were not too tired.
-
-“Because I won’t run away,” he said, with his voice back on the harsh
-note which had become habitual.
-
-There was a pause. Elizabeth heard her own heart beat. The room was
-getting darker. A log fell in the fire.
-
-Then David laughed bitterly.
-
-“That sounded very fine, but it’s just a flam. The truth is, not that I
-won’t run away, but that I can’t. I’ve not got the energy. I’m three
-parts broke, and it’s all I can do to keep going at all. I couldn’t
-start fresh, because I’ve got nothing to start with. If I could sleep
-for a week it would give me a chance, but I can’t sleep. Skeffington has
-taken me in hand now, and out of three drugs he has given me, two made
-me feel as if I were going mad, and the third had no effect at all. I’m
-full of bromide now. It makes me sleepy, but it doesn’t make me sleep.
-You don’t know what it’s like. My brain is drunk with sleep—marshy with
-it, water-logged—but there’s always one point of consciousness left high
-and dry—tortured.”
-
-“Can’t you sleep at all?”
-
-“I suppose I do, or I should be mad in real earnest. Do I look mad,
-Elizabeth?”
-
-She looked at him. His face was very white, except for a flushed patch
-high up on either cheek. His eyes were bloodshot and strained, but there
-was no madness in them.
-
-“Is that what you are afraid of?”
-
-“Yes, my God, yes,” said David Blake, speaking only just above his
-breath.
-
-“I don’t think you need be afraid. I don’t, really, David. You look very
-tired. You look as if you wanted sleep more than anything else in the
-world.”
-
-She spoke very gently. “Will you let me send you to sleep? I think I
-can.”
-
-“Does one ask a man who is dying of thirst if one may give him a drink?”
-
-“Then I may?”
-
-“If you can—but—” He broke off as Markham came in to clear away the tea.
-Elizabeth began to talk of trivialities. For a minute or two Markham
-came and went, but when she had taken away the tray, and the door was
-shut, there was silence again.
-
-Elizabeth had turned her chair a little. She sat looking into the fire.
-She was not making pictures among the embers, as she sometimes did. Her
-eyes had a brooding look. Her honey-coloured hair looked like pale gold
-against the brown panelling behind her. She sat very still. David found
-it pleasant to watch her, pleasant to be here.
-
-His whole head was stiff and numb with lack of sleep. Every muscle
-seemed stretched and every nerve taut. There was a dull, continuous pain
-at the back of his head. Thought seemed muffled, his faculties clogged.
-Two thirds of his brain was submerged, but in the remaining third
-consciousness flared like a flickering will-o’-the-wisp above a marsh.
-
-David lay back in his chair. This was a peaceful place, a peaceful room.
-He had not meant to stay so long, but he had no desire to move. Slowly,
-slowly the tide of sleep mounted in him. Not, as often lately, with a
-sudden flooding wave which retreated again as suddenly, and left his
-brain reeling, but steadily, quietly, like the still rising of some
-peaceful, moon-drawn sea. He seemed to see that lifting tide. It was as
-deep and still as those still waters of which another David wrote. It
-rose and rose—the will-o’-the-wisp of consciousness ceased its tormented
-flickering, and he slept.
-
-Elizabeth never turned her head. She heard his breathing deepen, until
-it was very slow and steady. There was no other sound except when an
-ember dropped. The light failed. Soon there was no light but the glow of
-the fire.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII
- THE GREY WOLF
-
-
- I thought I saw the Grey Wolf’s eyes
- Look through the bars of night;
- They drank the silver of the moon,
- And the stars’ pale chrysolite.
- From star by star they took their toll,
- And through the drained and darkened night
- They sought my darkened soul.
-
-David slept for a couple of hours, and that night he slept more than he
-had done for weeks. Next night, however, there returned the old strain,
-the old yearning for oblivion, the old inability to compass it. In the
-week that followed David passed through a number of strange, mental
-phases. After that first sound sleep had relieved the tension of his
-brain, he told himself that he owed it to the delayed action of the
-bromide Skeffington had given him. But as the strain returned, though
-reason held him to this opinion still, out of the deep undercurrents of
-consciousness there rose before him a vision of Elizabeth, with the gift
-of sleep in her hand. He passed into a state of conflict, and out of
-this conflict there grew up a pride that would owe nothing to a woman, a
-resistance that called itself reason and independence. And then, as the
-desire for sleep dominated everything, conflict merged into a desire
-that Elizabeth should heal him, should make him sleep. And all through
-the week he did not think of Mary at all. The craving for her had been
-swallowed up by that other craving. Mary had raised this fever, but it
-had now reached a point at which he had become unconscious of her. It
-was Elizabeth who filled his thoughts. Not Elizabeth the woman, but
-Elizabeth the bearer of that gift of sleep. But this, too, was a phase,
-and had its reaction.
-
-Towards the end of the week he finished his afternoon round by going to
-see an old Irishwoman, who had been in the hospital for an operation,
-and had since been dismissed as incurable. She was a plucky old soul,
-and a cheerful, but to-day David found her in a downcast mood.
-
-“Sure, it’s not the pain I’d be minding if I could get my sleep,” she
-said. “Couldn’t ye be after putting the least taste of something in my
-medicine, then, Doctor, dear?”
-
-David had his finger on her pulse. He patted her hand kindly as he laid
-it down.
-
-“Come, now, Mrs. Halloran,” he said, “when I gave you that last bottle
-of medicine you said it made you sleep beautifully.”
-
-“Just for a bit it did,” said Judy Halloran. “Sure, it was only for a
-bit, and now it’s the devil’s own nights I’m having. Couldn’t you be
-making it the least taste stronger, then?”
-
-She looked at David rather piteously.
-
-“Well, we must see,” he said. “You finish that bottle, and then I’ll see
-what I can do for you.”
-
-Mrs. Halloran closed her eyes for a minute. Then she opened them rather
-suddenly, shot a quick look at David, and said with an eager note in her
-voice:
-
-“They do be saying that Miss Chantrey can make anny one sleep. There was
-a friend of mine was after telling me about it. It was her daughter that
-had the sleep gone from her, and after Miss Chantrey came to see her, it
-was the fine nights she was having, and it’s the strong woman she is
-now, entirely.”
-
-David got up rather abruptly.
-
-“Come, now, Mrs. Halloran,” he said, “you know as well as I do that
-that’s all nonsense. But I daresay a visit from Miss Chantrey would
-cheer you up quite a lot. Would you like to see her? Shall I ask her to
-come in one day?”
-
-“She’d be kindly welcome,” said Judy Halloran.
-
-David went home with the old conflict raging again. Skeffington had been
-urging him to see a specialist. He had always refused. But now, quite
-suddenly, he wired for an appointment.
-
-He came down from town on a dark, rainy afternoon, feeling that he had
-built up a barrier between himself and superstition.
-
-An hour later he was at the Mottisfonts’ door, asking Markham if Mary
-was at home. Mary had gone out to tea, said Markham, and then
-volunteered, “Miss Elizabeth is in, sir.”
-
-David told himself that he had not intended to ask for Elizabeth. Why
-should he ask for Elizabeth? He could, however, hardly explain to
-Markham that it was not Elizabeth he wished to see, so he came in, and
-was somehow very glad to come.
-
-Elizabeth had been reading aloud to herself. As he stood at the door he
-could hear the rise and fall of her voice. It was an old trick of hers.
-Ten years ago he had often stood on the threshold and listened, until
-rebuked by Elizabeth for eavesdropping.
-
-He came in, and she said just in the old voice:
-
-“You were listening, David.”
-
-But it was the David of to-day who responded wearily, “I beg your
-pardon, Elizabeth. Did you mind?”
-
-“No, of course not. Sit down, David. What have you been doing with
-yourself?”
-
-Instead of sitting down he walked to the window and looked out. The sky
-was one even grey, and, though the rain had ceased, heavy drops were
-falling from the roof and denting the earth in Elizabeth’s window boxes,
-which were full of daffodils in bud. After a moment he turned and said
-impatiently, “How dark this room is!”
-
-Elizabeth divined in him a reaction, a fear of what she had done, and
-might do. She knew very well why he had stayed away. Without replying
-she put out her hand and touched a switch on the wall. A tall lamp with
-a yellow shade sprang into view, and the whole room became filled with a
-soft, warm light.
-
-David left the window, but still he did not sit. For a while he walked
-up and down restlessly, but at length came to a standstill between
-Elizabeth and the fire. He was so close to her that she had only to put
-out her hand and it would have touched his. He stood looking, now at the
-miniatures on the wall, now at the fire which burned with a steady red
-glow. He was half turned from Elizabeth, but she could see his face. It
-was strained and thin. The flesh had fallen away, leaving the great
-bones prominent.
-
-It was Elizabeth who broke the silence, and she said what she had not
-meant to say.
-
-“David, are you better? Are you sleeping?”
-
-“No,” he said shortly.
-
-“And you won’t let me help?”
-
-“I didn’t say so.”
-
-“Did you think I didn’t know?” Elizabeth’s voice was very sad.
-
-They had fallen suddenly upon an intimate note. It was a note that he
-had never touched with Mary. That they should be talking like this
-filled him with a dazed surprise. He as well as she was taking it for
-granted that she had given him sleep, and could give him sleep again.
-
-He gave himself a sudden shake.
-
-“I’m going away,” he said in a harder voice.
-
-There was a pause.
-
-“I’m glad,” said Elizabeth, and then there was silence again.
-
-This time it was David who spoke, and he spoke in the hot, insistent
-tones of a man who argues a losing case.
-
-“One can’t go on not sleeping. That is what I said to old Wyatt Byng
-to-day.”
-
-“Sir Wyatt Byng?” said Elizabeth quickly.
-
-“Yes—I saw him. Skeffington would have me see him, but what’s the use?
-He swears I shall sleep, if I take the stuff he’s given me—the latest
-French fad—but I don’t sleep. I seem to have lost the way—and one can’t
-go on.”
-
-He paused, and then said frowning:
-
-“It’s so odd——”
-
-“Odd?”
-
-“Yes—so odd—sleep. Such an odd thing. It was so easy once. Now it’s so
-difficult that it can’t be done. Why? No one knows. No one knows what
-sleep is——”
-
-His voice trailed away. He was strung like a wire that is ready to snap,
-and on the borders of consciousness, just out of sight, something
-waited; he turned his head sharply, as if the thing he dreaded might be
-there—behind him—in the shadow.
-
-Instead, he saw Elizabeth in a golden light like a halo. It swam before
-his tired eyes, a glow with a rainbow edge. Out of the heart of it she
-looked at him with serious, tender eyes.
-
-Beyond, in the gloom, there lurked such a horror as made him catch his
-breath, and here at his side—in this room, peace, safety, and
-sleep—sleep, the one thing in heaven or earth desired and desirable.
-
-A sort of shudder passed over him, and he repeated his own last words in
-a low, altered voice.
-
-“One _can’t_ go on. Something must give way. Sometimes I feel as if it
-might give now—at any moment. Then there’s madness—when one can’t sleep.
-Am I going mad, Elizabeth?”
-
-Elizabeth caught his hand and held it. He was so near that the impulse
-carried her away. Her clasp was strong, warm, and vital.
-
-“No, my dear, no,” she said.
-
-Then with a catch in her voice:
-
-“Oh, David—let me help you.”
-
-He shook his head in a slow, considering manner.
-
-“No—there would be only one way—and that’s not fair.”
-
-“What isn’t fair, David?”
-
-“You—to marry—me,” he said, still in that slow, considering way. “You
-know, Elizabeth, I can’t think very well. My head is all to pieces. But
-it’s not fair, and I can’t take your help—” He broke off frowning.
-
-“David, it has nothing to do with that sort of thing,” said Elizabeth
-very seriously. “It’s only what I would do for any one.”
-
-She was shaken to the depths, but she kept her voice low and steady.
-
-“Yes—it has—one can’t take like that——”
-
-“Because I’m a woman? Just because I’m a woman?”
-
-Elizabeth looked up quickly and spoke quickly, because she knew that if
-she stopped to think she would not speak at all.
-
-“And if we were married?”
-
-“Then it would be different,” said David Blake.
-
-His voice was not like his usual voice. It sounded like the voice of a
-man who was puzzled, who was trying to recall something of which he has
-seen glimpses. Was it something from the past, or something from the
-future?
-
-Elizabeth got up and stood as he was standing—one hand on the oak shelf
-above the fireplace the other clenched at her side.
-
-“David, are you asking me to marry you?” she said.
-
-He raised his head, half startled. The silence that followed her
-question seemed to fill the room and shake it. His will shook too, drawn
-this way and that by forces that were above and beyond them both.
-
-Elizabeth did not look at him. She did not know what he would answer,
-and all their lives hung on that answer of his. She held her breath, and
-it seemed to her that she was holding her will too. She was suddenly,
-overpoweringly conscious of her own strength, her own vital force and
-power. If she let this force go out to David now—in his weakness! It was
-the greatest temptation that she had ever known, and, after one
-shuddering moment, she turned from it in horror. She kept her will, her
-strength, her vital powers in a strong grip. No influence of hers must
-touch or sway him now. Her heart stopped beating. Her very life seemed
-to be suspended. Then she heard David say:
-
-“Would you marry me, Elizabeth?” His tone was a wondering one. It broke
-the tension. She turned her head a little and said:
-
-“Yes—if you needed me.”
-
-“Need—need—I think I should sleep—and if I don’t sleep I shall go mad.
-But, perhaps I shall go mad anyhow. You must not marry me if I am going
-mad.”
-
-“You won’t go mad.”
-
-“You think not? There is something that shakes all the time. It never
-stops. It goes on always. I think that is why I don’t sleep. But when I
-am with you it seems to stop. I don’t know why, but it does seem to
-stop, just whilst I am with you.”
-
-“It will stop altogether when you get your sleep back.”
-
-“Oh, yes.”
-
-The half-dreamy note went out of his voice, and the note of intimate
-self-revealing. Elizabeth noticed the change at once.
-
-“When do you go away, and where do you go?” she asked.
-
-“Switzerland, I think. I could get away by the 3rd of April.”
-
-David was trying to think, but his head was very tired. He must go away.
-He must have a change. They all said that. But it was no use for him to
-go away if he did not sleep. He must have sleep. But if Elizabeth were
-with him he would sleep. Elizabeth must come with him. If they were
-married at once she could come with him, and then he would sleep. But it
-was so soon. He spoke his thought aloud.
-
-“You wouldn’t marry me first, I suppose? You wouldn’t come with me?”
-
-“Why not?” said Elizabeth quietly. The quietness hid the greatest effort
-of her life. “If you want me, I will come. I only want to help you, and
-if I can help you best that way——”
-
-David let himself sink into a chair, and began to talk a little of
-plans, wearily and with an effort. He had to force his brain to make it
-work at all. All these details, these plans, these conventions seemed to
-him irrelevant and burdensome.
-
-He got up to go as the clock struck seven.
-
-Elizabeth put out her hand to him as she had always done.
-
-“And you will let me help you?”
-
-“No, not yet—not till afterwards,” he said.
-
-“It makes no difference, David, you know. It is just what I would do for
-any one who wanted it——”
-
-He shook his head. There was a reaction upon him, a withdrawal.
-
-“Not yet—not till afterwards. I’ll give old Byng’s stuff a chance,” he
-said obstinately, and then went out with just a bare good-night.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII
- MARCH GOES OUT
-
-
- I thought I saw the Grey Wolf’s eyes.
- The sun was gone away,
- Most unendurably gone down,
- With all delights of day.
- I cried aloud for light, and all
- The light was dead and done away,
- And no one answered to my call.
-
-Edward was, perhaps, the person best pleased at the news of Elizabeth’s
-engagement. He had been, as Mary phrased it, “very much put out.” Put
-out, in fact, to the point of wondering whether he could possibly nerve
-himself to tell David that he came too often to the house. He had an
-affection for David, and he was under an obligation to him, but there
-were limits—during the last fortnight he had very frequently explained
-to Mary that there were limits. Whether he would ever have got as far as
-explaining this to David remains amongst the lesser mysteries of life.
-Mary did not take the explanation in what Edward considered at all a
-proper spirit. She bridled, looked very pretty, talked about good
-influences, and was much offended when Edward lost his temper. He lost
-it to the extent of consigning good influences to a place with which
-they are not usually connected, though the way to it is said to be paved
-with good intentions. Mary had a temper, too. It took her out of the
-room with a bang of the door, but she subsequently cried herself sick
-because Edward had sworn at her.
-
-There was a reconciliation, but Edward was not as penitent as Mary
-thought he should have been. David became a sore point with both of
-them, and Edward, at least, was unfeignedly pleased at what he
-considered a happy solution of the difficulty. He was fond of Elizabeth,
-but it would certainly be more agreeable to have the whole house at his
-own disposal. He had always thought that Elizabeth’s little brown room
-would be the very place for his collections. He fell to estimating the
-probable cost of lining the whole wall-space with cabinets.
-
-Mary was not quite as pleased as Edward.
-
-“You know, Liz,” she said, “I am very _glad_ that David should marry. I
-think he wants a home. But I don’t think you ought to marry him until
-he’s _better_. He looks dreadful. And a fortnight’s engagement—I can’t
-_think_ what people will say—one ought to consider that.”
-
-“Oh, Molly, you are too young for the part of Mrs. Grundy,” said
-Elizabeth, laughing.
-
-Mary coloured and said:
-
-“It’s all very well, Liz, but people will talk.”
-
-“Well, Molly, and if they do? What is there for them to say? It is all
-very simple, really. No one can help seeing how ill David is, and I
-think every one would understand my wanting to be with him. People are
-really quite human and understanding if they are taken the right way.”
-
-“But a fortnight,” said Mary, frowning. “Why Liz, you will not be able
-to get your things!” And she was shocked beyond words when Elizabeth
-betrayed a complete indifference as to whether she had any new things at
-all.
-
-The wedding was fixed for the 3rd of April, and the days passed. David
-made the necessary arrangements with a growing sense of detachment. The
-matter was out of his hands.
-
-For a week the new drug gave him sleep, a sleep full of brilliant
-dreams, strange flashes of light, and bursts of unbearable colour. He
-woke from it with a blinding headache and a sense of strain beyond that
-induced by insomnia. Towards the end of the week he stopped taking the
-drug. The headache had become unendurable. This state was worse than the
-last.
-
-On the last day of March he came to Elizabeth and told her that their
-marriage must be deferred.
-
-“Ronnie Ellerton is very ill,” he said; “I can’t go away.”
-
-“But David, you _must_——”
-
-He shook his head. The obstinacy of illness was upon him.
-
-“I can’t—and I won’t,” he declared. Then, as if realising that he owed
-her some explanation, he added:
-
-“He’s so spoilt. Why are women such fools? He’s never been made to do
-anything he didn’t like. He won’t take food or medicine, and I’m the
-only person who has the least authority over him. And she’s half crazy
-with anxiety, poor soul. I have promised not to go until he’s round the
-corner. It’s only a matter of a day or two, so we must just put it off.”
-
-Elizabeth put her hand on his arm.
-
-“David, we need not put off the marriage,” she said in her most ordinary
-tones. “You see, if we are married, we could start off as soon as the
-child was better.”
-
-She had it in her mind that unless David would let her help him soon, he
-would be past helping.
-
-He looked at her indifferently. “You will stay here?”
-
-“Not unless you wish,” she answered.
-
-“I? Oh! it is for you to say.”
-
-There was no interest in his tone. If he thought of anything it was of
-Ronnie Ellerton. A complete apathy had descended upon him. Nothing was
-real, nothing mattered. Health—sanity—rest—these were only names. They
-meant nothing. Only when he turned to his work, his brain still moved
-with the precision of a machine, regularly, correctly.
-
-He did not tell her either then or ever, that Katie Ellerton had broken
-down and spoken bitter words about his marriage.
-
-“I’ve nothing but Ronnie—nothing but Ronnie—and you will go away with
-her and he will die. I know he will die if you go. Can’t she spare you
-just for two days—or three—to save Ronnie’s life? Promise me you won’t
-go till he is safe—promise—promise.”
-
-And David had promised, taking in what she had said about the child, but
-only half grasping the import of her frantic appeal. Neither he nor she
-were real people to him just now. Only Ronnie was real—Ronnie, who was
-ill, and his patient.
-
-Elizabeth went through the next two days with a heavy heart. She had to
-meet Mary’s questions, her objections, her disapprobations, and it was
-all just a little more than she could bear.
-
-On the night before the wedding, Mary left Edward upstairs and came to
-sit beside Elizabeth’s fire. Elizabeth would rather have been alone, and
-yet she was pleased that Mary cared to come. If only she would let all
-vexed questions be—it seemed as if she would, for her mood was a silent
-one. She sat for a long time without speaking, then, with an impulsive
-movement, she slid out of her chair and knelt at Elizabeth’s side.
-
-“Oh, Liz, I’ve been cross. I know I have. I know you’ve thought me
-cross. But it’s because I’ve been unhappy—Liz, I’m not _happy_ about
-you——”
-
-Elizabeth put her hand on Mary’s shoulder for a moment.
-
-“Don’t be unhappy, Molly,” she said, in rather an unsteady voice.
-
-“But I am, Liz, I am—I can’t help it—I have talked, and worried you, and
-have been cross, but all the time I’ve been most dreadfully unhappy. Oh,
-Liz, don’t do it—don’t!”
-
-“Molly, dear——”
-
-“No, I know it’s no use—you won’t listen—” and Mary drew away and dabbed
-her eyes with a fragmentary apology for a pocket-handkerchief.
-
-“Molly, please——”
-
-Mary nodded.
-
-“Yes, Liz, I know. I won’t—I didn’t mean to——”
-
-There was a little silence. Then with a sudden choking sob, Mary turned
-and said:
-
-“I can’t _bear_ it. Oh, Liz, you ought to be loved so much. You ought to
-marry some one who loves you—_really_——. And I don’t think David does.
-Liz, does he love you—does he?”
-
-The sound of her own words frightened her a little, but Elizabeth
-answered very gently and sadly:
-
-“No, Molly, but he needs me.”
-
-Mary was silenced. Here was something beyond her. She put her arms round
-Elizabeth and held her very tightly for a moment. Then she released her
-with a sob, and ran crying from the room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIV
- THE GOLDEN WIND
-
-
- Then far, oh, very far away,
- The Wind began to rise,
- The Sun, the Moon, the Stars were gone,
- I saw the Grey Wolf’s eyes.
- The Wind rose up and rising, shone,
- I saw it shine, I saw it rise,
- And suddenly the dark was gone.
-
-David Blake was married to Elizabeth Chantrey at half-past two of an
-April day. Edward and Mary Mottisfont were the only witnesses, with the
-exception of the verger, who considered himself a most important person
-on these occasions, when he invariably appeared to be more priestly than
-the rector and more indispensable than the bridegroom.
-
-It requires no practice to be a bridegroom but years, if not
-generations, go to the making of the perfect verger. This verger was the
-son and the grandson of vergers. He was the perfect verger. He stood
-during the service and disapproved of David’s grey pallor, his shaking
-hand, and his unsteady voice. His black gown imparted a funerary air to
-the proceedings.
-
-“Drinking, that’s what he’d been,” he told his wife, and his wife said,
-“Oh, William,” as one who makes response to an officiating priest.
-
-But he wronged David, who was not drunk—only starved for lack of sleep,
-and strung to the breaking point. His voice stumbled over the words in
-which he took Elizabeth to be his wedded wife and trailed away to a
-whisper at the conclusion.
-
-A gusty wind beat against the long grey windows, and between the gusts
-the heavy rain thudded on the roof above.
-
-Mary shivered in the vestry as she kissed Elizabeth and wished her joy.
-Then she turned to David and kissed him too. He was her brother now, and
-there would be no more nonsense. Edward frowned, David stiffened, and
-Elizabeth, standing near him, was aware that all his muscles had become
-rigid.
-
-Elizabeth and David went out by the vestry door, and stood a moment on
-the step. The rain had ceased quite suddenly in the April fashion. The
-sky was very black overhead and the air was full of a wet wind, but far
-down to the right the water meadows lay bathed in a clear sweet
-sunshine, and the west was as blue as a turquoise. Between the blue of
-the sky and the bright emerald of the grass, the horizon showed faintly
-golden, and a broken patch of rainbow light glowed against the nearest
-dark cloud.
-
-David and Elizabeth walked to their home in silence. Mrs. Havergill
-awaited them with an air of mournful importance. She had prepared coffee
-and a cake with much almond icing and the word “Welcome” inscribed upon
-it in silver comfits. Elizabeth ate a piece of cake from a sense of
-duty, and David drank cup after cup of black coffee, and then sat in a
-sort of stupor of fatigue until roused by the sound of the telephone
-bell.
-
-After a minute or two he came back into the room.
-
-“Ronnie is worse,” he said shortly. There was a change in him. He had
-pulled himself together. His voice was stronger.
-
-“He’s worse. I must go at once. Don’t wait dinner, and don’t sit up. I
-may have to stay all night.”
-
-When he had gone, Elizabeth went upstairs to unpack. Mrs. Havergill
-followed her.
-
-“You ’avn’t been in this room since Mrs. Blake was took.”
-
-“It’s a very nice room,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“All this furniture,” said Mrs. Havergill, “come out of the ’ouse in the
-’Igh Street. That old mahogany press, Mrs. Blake set a lot of store by,
-and the bed, too. Ah! pore thing, I suppose she little thought as ’ow
-she’d come to die in it.”
-
-The bed was a fine old four-poster, with a carved foot-rail. Elizabeth
-went past it to the windows, of which there were three, set casement
-fashion, at the end of the room, with a wide low window-seat running
-beneath them.
-
-She got rid of Mrs. Havergill without hurting her feelings. Then she
-knelt on the seat, and looked out. She saw the river beneath her, and a
-line of trees in the first green mist of their new leaves. The river was
-dark and bright in patches, and the wind sang above it. Elizabeth’s
-heart was glad of this place. It was a thing she loved—to see green
-trees and bright water, and to hear the wind go by above the stream.
-
-When she had unpacked and put everything away, she stood for a moment,
-and then opened the door that led through into David’s room. It was
-getting dark in here, for the room faced the east. Elizabeth went to the
-window and looked out. The sky was full of clouds, and the promise of
-rain.
-
-It was very late before David came home. At ten, Elizabeth sent the
-servants to bed. There was cold supper laid in the dining-room, and soup
-in a covered pan by the side of the fire. Elizabeth sat by the lamp and
-sewed. Every now and then she lifted her head and listened. Then she
-sewed again.
-
-At twelve o’clock David put his key into the latch, and the door opened
-with a little click and then shut again.
-
-David was a long time coming in. He came in slowly, and sat down upon
-the first chair he touched.
-
-“He’ll do,” he said in an exhausted voice.
-
-“I’m so glad,” said Elizabeth.
-
-She knelt by the fire, and poured some of the soup into a cup. Then she
-held it out to him, and he drank, taking long draughts. After that she
-put food before him, and he ate in a dazed, mechanical fashion.
-
-When he had finished, he sat staring at Elizabeth, with his elbows on
-the table, and his head between his hands.
-
-“Ronnie is asleep—he’ll do.” And then with sudden passion: “My God, if I
-could sleep!”
-
-“You will, David,” said Elizabeth. She put her hand on his arm, and he
-turned his head a little, still staring at her.
-
-“No, I don’t sleep,” he said. “Everything else sleeps—_Die Vöglein ruhen
-im Walde_. How does it go?”
-
-“_Warte nur, balde ruhest du auch_,” said Elizabeth in her tranquil
-voice.
-
-“No,” said David, “I can’t get in. It was so easy once—but now I can’t
-get in. The silent city of sleep has long, smooth walls—I can’t find the
-gate; I grope along the wall all night, hour after hour. A hundred times
-I think I have found the door. Sometimes there is a flashing sword that
-bars the way, sometimes the wall closes—closes as I pass the threshold.
-There’s no way in. The walls are smooth—all smooth—you can’t get in.”
-
-He spoke, not wildly, but in a low, muttering way. Elizabeth touched his
-hand. It was very hot.
-
-“Come, David,” she said, “it is late.” She drew him to his feet, and he
-walked uncertainly, and leaned on her shoulder, as they went up the
-stair. Once in his room, he sank again upon a chair. He let her help
-him, but when she knelt, and would have unlaced his boots, he roused
-himself.
-
-“No, you are not to,” he said with a sudden anger in his voice, and he
-took them off, and then let her help him again.
-
-When he was in bed, Elizabeth stood by him for a moment.
-
-“Are you comfortable?” she asked.
-
-“If I could sleep,” he said, only just above his breath. “If I could.”
-
-“Oh, but you will,” said Elizabeth. “Don’t be afraid, David. It’s all
-right.”
-
-She set the door into her room ajar and then sat down by the window, and
-looked out at the night. The blind was up. The night was dark and clear.
-There were stars, many little glittering points. It was very still.
-Elizabeth fixed her eyes upon the sky, but after a minute or two she did
-not see it at all. Her mind was full of David and his need. This
-tortured, sleepless state of his had no reality. How could it compass
-and oppress the immortal image of God? Her thought rose into peace.
-Elizabeth opened her mind to the Divine light. Her will rested. She was
-conscious only of that radiant peace. It enwrapped her, it enwrapped
-David. In it they lived and moved and had their being. In it they were
-real and vital creatures. To lapse from consciousness of it, was to fall
-upon a formless, baseless dream, wherein were the shadows of evil. These
-shadows had no reality. Brought to the light, they faded, leaving only
-that peace—that radiance. Elizabeth’s eyes were opened. She saw the
-Wings of Peace.
-
-And David slept.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XV
- LOVE MUST TO SCHOOL
-
-
- Love must to school to learn his alphabet,
- His wings are shorn, his eyes are dim and wet.
- He pores on books that once he knew by heart—
- Poor, foolish Love, to wander and forget.
-
-Elizabeth sat quite motionless for half an hour. Then she stirred, bent
-her head for a moment, whilst she listened to David’s regular breathing,
-and then rose to her feet. She passed through the open door into her own
-room, and undressed in the dark. Then she lay down and slept.
-
-Three times during the night she woke and listened. But David still
-slept. When she woke up for the third time, the room was full of the
-greyness of the dawn. She got up and closed the door between the two
-rooms.
-
-Then she lay waking. It had been a strange wedding night.
-
-The day dawned cloudy, but broke at noon into a cloudless warmth that
-was more like June than April.
-
-“Take me down the river,” said Elizabeth, and they rowed down for half a
-mile, and turned the boat into a water-lane where budding willows swept
-down on either side, and brushed the stream.
-
-David was very well content to lie in the sun. The strain was gone from
-him, leaving behind it a weariness beyond words. Every limb, every
-muscle, every nerve was relaxed. There was a great peace upon him. The
-air tasted sweet. The light was a pleasant thing. The sky was blue, and
-so was Elizabeth’s dress, and Elizabeth was a very reposeful person. She
-did not fidget and she did not chatter. When she spoke it was of
-pleasant things.
-
-David recalled a day, ten years ago, when he had sat with her in this
-very place. He could see himself, full of enthusiasm, full of youth. He
-could remember how he had talked, and how Elizabeth had listened. She
-was just the same now. It was he who had changed. Ten years ago seemed
-to him a very pleasant time, a very pleasant memory. Pictures rose
-before him—stray words—stray recollections running into a long, soft
-blur.
-
-They came home in the dusk.
-
-“Are you going to see Ronnie again?” said Elizabeth, as they landed.
-
-“Yes; he couldn’t be doing better, but I’ll look in, and to-morrow
-Skeffington will go with me so as to get him broken in to the change. We
-ought to get away all right now.”
-
-David waked next day to find the sun shining in at his uncurtained
-window. From where he lay he could see the young blue of the sky, and
-all the room seemed full of the sun’s gold. David lay in a lazy
-contentment watching the motes that danced in a long shining beam. There
-was a new stir of life in his veins. He stretched out his limbs and was
-glad of their strength. The sweetness and the glory and the promise of
-the spring slid into his blood and fired it.
-
-“Mary,” he said, still between sleeping and waking—and with the name,
-memory woke. Suddenly his brain was very clear. He looked straight ahead
-and saw the door that led into the other room—the room that had been his
-mother’s. Elizabeth was in that room. He had married Elizabeth—she was
-his wife. He lay quite still and stared at the door. Elizabeth Chantrey
-was Elizabeth Blake. She was his wife—and Mary——
-
-A sudden spasm of laughter caught David by the throat. Mary was what she
-had promised to be—his sister; Mary was his sister. The spasm of
-laughter passed, and with it the stir in David’s blood. He was quite
-cool now. He lay staring at that closed door, and faced the situation.
-
-It was a damnable situation, he decided. He felt as a man might feel who
-wakes from the delirium of weeks, to find that in his madness he has
-done some intolerable, some irrevocable thing. A man who does not sleep
-is a man who is not wholly sane. David looked back and followed the
-events of the last few months with a critical detachment.
-
-He saw the strain growing and growing until, in the end, on the brink of
-the abyss, he had snatched at the relief which Elizabeth offered, as a
-man who dies of thirst will snatch at water. Well—he had taken
-Elizabeth’s draught of water, his thirst was quenched, he was his own
-man again. No, never his own man any more. Never free any
-more—Elizabeth’s debtor—Elizabeth’s husband.
-
-David set his face like a flint—he would pay his debt.
-
-He went out as soon as he had breakfasted and walked for a couple of
-hours. It was a little after noon when he came into the drawing-room
-where Elizabeth was.
-
-The floor was covered with a great many yards of green stuff which she
-was cutting into curtain lengths. As David came in, she looked up and
-smiled.
-
-“Oh, _please_,” she said, “if you wouldn’t mind, I shall cut them so
-much better if you hold one end.”
-
-David knelt down and held the stuff, whilst Elizabeth cut it. She came
-quite close to him at the end, smiled again, and took away the two
-pieces which he still clutched helplessly.
-
-“That’s beautiful,” she said, and sat down and began to sew.
-
-David watched her in silence. If she found his gaze embarrassing, she
-showed no sign.
-
-“We can start to-morrow,” he said at last. He gave a list of trains,
-stopping-places, and hotels, paused at the end of it, walked to the
-window, and then, turning, said with an effort:
-
-“This has been a bad beginning for you, my dear—you’ve been very good to
-me. You deserve a better bargain, but I’ll do my best.”
-
-Elizabeth did not speak at once. David thought that she was not going to
-speak at all, but after what seemed like a long time she said:
-
-“David!” and then stopped.
-
-There was a good deal of colour in her cheeks. David saw that she, too,
-was making an effort.
-
-“Well,” he said, and his voice was more natural.
-
-“David,” said Elizabeth, “what did you mean by ‘doing your best’?”
-
-David met her eyes. He had always liked Elizabeth’s eyes. They were so
-very clear.
-
-“I meant that I’d do my best to make you a good husband,” he said quite
-simply.
-
-Elizabeth’s colour rose higher still. She continued to look at David,
-because she would have considered it cowardly to look away.
-
-“A good husband to my good wife,” she said. “But, David, I don’t think
-you want a wife just now.”
-
-David came across the room and sat down by the table at which Elizabeth
-was working.
-
-“Then why did you marry me, Elizabeth?” he asked.
-
-Elizabeth did not turn her head at once.
-
-“I think what we both want just now,” she said, “is friendship.” Her
-voice was low, but she kept it steady. “The sort of friendship that is
-one side of marriage. It is not really possible for a man and a woman to
-be friends in that sort of way unless they are married. I think you want
-a friend—I know I do. I think you have been very lonely—one is lonely,
-and it is worse for a man. He can’t get the home-feeling, and he misses
-it. You did not marry me because you needed a wife. I don’t think you
-do. When you want a wife, I will be your wife, but just now——”
-
-She broke off. She did not look at David, but David looked at her. He
-saw how tightly her hands were clasped, he saw the colour flushing in
-her cheeks. She had great self-control, but that she was deeply moved
-was very evident.
-
-All at once he became conscious of great fatigue. He had walked far and
-in considerable distress of mind. He had put a very strong constraint
-upon himself. He rested his head on his hand and tried to think.
-Elizabeth did not speak again. After a time he raised his head.
-Elizabeth was watching him—her eyes were very soft. A sense of relief
-came upon David. Just to drift—just to let things go on in the old way,
-on the old lines. Not for always—just for a time—until he had put Mary
-out of his thoughts. Their marriage was not an ordinary one. It was for
-Elizabeth to make what terms she would. And it was a relief—yes, no
-doubt it was a relief.
-
-“If I say, Yes,” he said, “it is only for a time. It is not a very
-possible situation, you know, Elizabeth—not possible at all in most
-cases. But just now, just for the present, I admit your right to
-choose.”
-
-Elizabeth’s hands relaxed.
-
-“Thank you, David,” she said.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVI
- FRIENDSHIP
-
-
- See, God is everywhere,
- Where, then, is care?
- There is no night in Him,
- Then how can we grow dim?
- There is no room for pain or fear
- Since God is Love, and Love is here.
-
- The full cup lowered down into the sea,
- Is full continually,
- How can it lose one drop when all around
- The endless floods abound?
- So we in Him no part of Life can lose,
- For all is ours to use.
-
-David found himself enjoying his holiday a good deal. Blue skies and
-shining air, clear cold of the snows and radiant warmth of the spring
-sun, sweet sleep by night and pleasant companionship by day—all these
-were his portion. His own content surprised him. He had been so long in
-the dark places that he could scarcely believe that the shadow was gone,
-and the day clear again. He had been prepared to struggle manfully
-against the feeling for Mary which had haunted and tormented him for so
-long. To his surprise, he found that this feeling fell into line with
-the other symptoms of his illness. He shrank from thinking of it, as he
-shrank from thinking of his craving for drink, his sleepless nights, and
-his dread of madness. It was all a part of the same bad dream—a shadow
-among shadows, in a world of gloom from which he had escaped.
-
-Elizabeth was a very good companion. It was too early to climb, but they
-took long walks, shared picnic meals, and talked or were silent just as
-the spirit moved them. It was the old boy and girl companionship come
-back, and it was a very restful thing. One day, when they had been
-married about a fortnight, David said suddenly:
-
-“How did you do it, Elizabeth?”
-
-They were sitting on a grassy slope, looking over a wide valley where
-blue mists lay. A little wind was blowing, and the upper air was clear.
-The grass on which they sat was short. It was full of innumerable small
-white and purple anemones. Elizabeth was sitting on the grass, watching
-the flowers, and touching first one and then another with the tips of
-her fingers.
-
-“All these little white ones have a violet stain at the back of each
-petal,” was the last thing that she had said, but when David spoke she
-looked up, a little startled.
-
-He was lying full length on a narrow ledge just above her, with his cap
-over his eyes to shield them from the sun, which was very bright.
-
-“How did you do it, Elizabeth?” said David Blake.
-
-Elizabeth hesitated. She could not see his face.
-
-“What do you mean?”
-
-“How did you do it? Was it hypnotism?”
-
-“Oh, no—” There was real horror in her voice.
-
-“It must have been.”
-
-She was silent for a moment. Then she said:
-
-“Do you remember how interested we used to be in hypnotism, David?”
-
-“Yes, that’s partly what made me think of it.”
-
-“We read everything we could lay hands on—all the books on psychic
-phenomena—Charcot’s experiments—everything. And do you remember the
-conclusion we came to?”
-
-“What was it?”
-
-“I don’t think you’ve forgotten. I can remember you stamping up and down
-my little room and saying, ‘It’s a _damnable_ thing, Elizabeth, a
-perfectly damnable thing. There’s _no_ end, absolutely none to the
-extent to which it undermines everything—I believe it is a much more
-real devil than any that the theologies produce.’ That’s what you said
-nine years ago, David, and I agreed with you. We used quite a lot of
-strong language between us, and I don’t feel called upon to retract any
-of it. Hypnotism _is_ a damnable thing.”
-
-David pushed the cap back from his eyes as Elizabeth spoke, and raised
-himself on his elbow, so that he could see her face.
-
-“There are degrees,” he said, “and it’s very hard to define. How would
-you define it?”
-
-“It’s not easy. ‘The unlawful influence of one mind over another’?”
-
-“That’s begging the question. At what point does it become
-unlawful?—that’s the crux.”
-
-“I suppose at the point when force of will overbears
-sense—reason—conscience. You may persuade a man to lend you money, but
-you mayn’t pick his pocket or hypnotise him.”
-
-David laughed.
-
-“How practical!”
-
-Then very suddenly:
-
-“So it wasn’t hypnotism. Are you _sure_?”
-
-“Yes, quite sure.”
-
-“But can you be sure? There’s such a thing as the unconscious exercise
-of will power.”
-
-Elizabeth shook her head.
-
-“There is nothing in the least unconscious in what I do. I know very
-well what I am about, and I know enough about hypnotism to know that it
-is not that. I don’t use my will at all.”
-
-“What do you do? How is it done?” His tone was interested.
-
-“I think,” said Elizabeth slowly, “that it is done by _realising_, by
-getting into touch with Reality. Things like sleeplessness, pain, and
-strain aren’t right—they aren’t normal. They are like bad dreams. If one
-wakes—if one sees the reality—the dream is gone.”
-
-She spoke as if she were struggling to find words for some idea which
-filled her mind, but was hard to put into a communicable shape.
-
-“It is life on the Fourth Dimension,” she said at last.
-
-“Yes,” said David, “go on.” There was a slightly quizzical look in his
-eyes, but he was interested. “What do you mean by the Fourth Dimension?”
-
-“We used to talk of that too, and lately I have thought about it a lot.”
-
-“Yes?”
-
-“It is so hard to put into words. Fourth Dimensional things won’t get
-into Third Dimensional words. One has to try and try, and then a little
-scrap of the meaning comes through. That is why there are so many
-creeds, so many sects. They are all an attempt to express—and one can’t
-really express the thing. I can’t say it, I can only feel it. It is
-limitless, and words are limited. There are no bounds or barriers. Take
-Thought, for instance—that is Fourth Dimensional—and Love. Religion is a
-purely Fourth Dimensional thing, and we all guess and translate as best
-we may. In all religions that have life, apprehension rises above the
-creed and reaches out to the Real—the untranslatable.”
-
-“Yes, that’s true; but go on—define the Fourth Dimension.”
-
-“I can see it, you know. It’s another plane. It is the plane which
-permeates and inter-penetrates all other planes—universal, eternal,
-unchanging. It’s like the Fire of God—searching all things. It is the
-plane of Reality. Nothing is real which is not universal and unchanging
-and eternal. If one can realise that plane, one is amongst the
-realities, and all that is unreal goes out. ‘There is no life but the
-Life of God, no consciousness but the Divine Consciousness.’ I think
-that is the best definition of all: ‘the Divine Consciousness.’”
-
-He did not know that she was quoting, and he did not answer her or speak
-at all for some time. But at last he said:
-
-“So I slept, because you saw me in the Divine Consciousness; is that
-it?”
-
-“Something like that.”
-
-“You didn’t will that I should sleep?”
-
-“Oh, no.”
-
-“Are you doing it still?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Every night?”
-
-“Yes,” said Elizabeth again.
-
-David sat up. The mists in the valley beneath were golden, for the sun
-had dropped. As he looked, the gold turned grey, and the shadow of
-darkness to come rose out of the valley’s depths, though the hill-slope
-on which they sat was warm and sunny yet. David turned and saw that
-Elizabeth was watching him.
-
-“I want you to stop whatever it is you do,” he said abruptly.
-
-“Very well.”
-
-“I’m not as ungrateful as that sounds—” He broke off, and Elizabeth said
-quickly:
-
-“Oh, no.”
-
-“You don’t think it?”
-
-“Why should I? You are well again. You don’t need my help any more.”
-
-A shadow like the shadow of evening came over her as she spoke, but her
-smile betrayed nothing.
-
-They walked back to the hotel in silence.
-
-David had wondered if he would sleep. He slept all night, the sweet
-sound sleep of health and a mind unburdened.
-
-It was Elizabeth who did not sleep. She had walked with him through the
-valley of the shadow and he had come out of it a whole man again. Was
-she to cling to the shadow, because in the shadow David had clung to
-her? It came to that. She drove the thought home, and did not shirk the
-pain of it. They were come out into the light, and in the light he had
-no need of her. But this was not full daylight in which they walked—it
-was only the first chill grey of the dawn, and there is always a need of
-Love. Love needs must give, and giving, blesses and is blessed, for Love
-is of the realities—a thing immutable and all-pervading. No man can shut
-out Love.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVII
- THE DREAM
-
-
- My hand has never touched your hand, I have not seen your face,
- No sound of any spoken word has passed between us two—
- Yet night by night I come to you in some unearthly place,
- And all my dreams of day and night are dreams of love and you.
-
- The moon has never shone on us together in our sleep,
- The sun has never seen us kiss beneath the arch of day,
- Your eyes have never looked in mine—your soul has looked so deep,
- That all the sundering veils of sense are drawn and done away.
-
- My lids are sealed with more than sleep, but I am lapped in light,
- Your soul draws near, and yet more near, till both our souls are
- one,
- In that strange place of our content is neither day nor night,
- No end and no beginning, whilst the timeless æons run.
-
-David came home after his month’s holiday as hard and healthy as a man
-may be. Elizabeth was well content. She and David were friends. He liked
-her company, he ate and slept, he was well, and he laughed sometimes as
-the old David had laughed.
-
-“Don’t you think your master looks well, Mrs. Havergill?” she said quite
-gaily.
-
-Mrs. Havergill sighed.
-
-“He do look well,” she admitted; “but there, ma’am, there’s no saying—it
-isn’t looks as we can go by. In my own family now, there was my sister
-Sarah. She was a fine, fresh-looking woman. Old Dr. Jones he met her out
-walking, as it might be on the Thursday.
-
-“‘Well, Miss Sarah, you _do_ look well,’ he says—and there, ’tweren’t
-but the following Tuesday as she was took. ‘Who’d ha’ thought it,’ he
-says. ‘In the midst of life we are in death,’ and that’s a true word.
-And my brother ’Enry now, ’e never look so well in all ’is life as when
-he was laying in ’is coffin.”
-
-Elizabeth could afford to laugh.
-
-“Oh, Mrs. Havergill, do be cheerful,” she implored; “it would be so much
-better for you.”
-
-Mrs. Havergill looked injured.
-
-“I don’t see as we’re sent into this world to be cheerful,” she said,
-with the air of one who reproves unchristian levity.
-
-“Oh, but we are—we really are,” said Elizabeth.
-
-Mrs. Havergill shook her head.
-
-“Let them be cheerful as has no troubles,” she remarked. “I’ve ’ad mine,
-and a-plenty,” and she went out of the room, sighing.
-
-Mary ran in to see her sister quite early on the morning after their
-return.
-
-“Well, Liz—no, let me _look_ at you—I’ll kiss you in a minute. Are you
-_happy_—you wrote dreadful guide-book letters, that I tore up and put in
-the fire.”
-
-“Oh, Molly.”
-
-“Yes, they were—exactly like Baedeker, only worse. All about mountains
-and flowers and the nice air, and ‘David is quite well again.’ As if
-_anyone_ wanted to hear about mountains and flowers from a person on her
-honeymoon. Are you _happy_, Liz?”
-
-“Don’t I look happy?” said Elizabeth laughing.
-
-“Yes, you do.” Mary looked at her considering. “You _do_. Is it all
-right, Liz, _really_ all right?”
-
-“Yes, it’s really all right, Molly,” said Elizabeth, and then she began
-to talk of other things.
-
-Mary kissed her very affectionately when she went away, but at the door
-she turned, frowning.
-
-“I expect you wrote _reams_ to Agneta,” she said, and then shut the door
-quickly before Elizabeth had time to answer.
-
-David was out when Mary came, and it so happened that for two or three
-days they did not meet. He had come to dread the meeting. His passion
-for Mary was dead. He was afraid lest her presence, her voice, should
-raise the dead and bring it forth again in its garment of glamour and
-pain. Then on Sunday he came in to find Mary sitting there with
-Elizabeth in the twilight. She jumped up as he came in, and held out her
-hand.
-
-“Well, David, you are a nice brother—never to have come and seen me.
-Busy? Yes, of course you’ve been busy, but you might have squeezed in a
-visit to me, amongst all the visits to sick old ladies and naughty
-little boys. Oh, _do_ you know, Katie Ellerton has gone away? She took
-Ronnie to Brighton for a change, and then wrote and said she wasn’t
-coming back. I believe she is going to live with a brother who is a
-solicitor down there. And she’s selling her furniture, so if you _want_
-extra things you might get them cheap.”
-
-“That’s Elizabeth’s department,” said David, laughing.
-
-“Well, this is for you both. When will you come to dinner? On Tuesday?
-Yes, do. Talk about being busy. Edward’s busy, if you like. I never see
-him, and he’s quite worried. Liz, you remember Jack Webster? Well, you
-know he’s on the West Coast, and he’s sent Edward a whole case of
-things—frightfully exciting specimens, two centipedes he’s wanted for
-ever so long, and a spider that Jack says is new. And Edward has never
-even had time to open the case. That shows you! It’s accounts, I
-believe. Edward does hate accounts.”
-
-When she had gone David sat silent for a long time. It was the old Mary,
-and prettier than ever. He had never seen her looking prettier, but his
-feeling for her was gone. He could look at her quite dispassionately,
-and wonder over the old unreasoning thrill. And what a chatterbox she
-was. Thank Heaven, she had had the sense to marry Edward, who was really
-not such a bad sort. Poor Edward. He laughed aloud suddenly, and
-Elizabeth looked up and asked:
-
-“What is it?”
-
-“Edward and the case he can’t open, and the centipedes he can’t play
-with,” he said, still laughing. “Poor old Edward! What it is to have a
-conscience. I wonder he doesn’t have a midnight orgy with the
-centipedes, but I suppose Mary sees to that.”
-
-It was that night that David dreamed his dream again. All these months
-it had never come to him. Amongst the many dreams that had haunted his
-sick brain, there had been no hint of this one. He had wondered about it
-sometimes. And now it returned. In the first deep sleep that comes to a
-healthy man he dreamed it.
-
-He heard the wind blowing—that was the beginning of it. It came from the
-far distances of space, and it passed on again to the far distances
-beyond. David heard it blow, but his eyes were darkened. Then suddenly
-he saw. His feet were on the shining sand, the sand that shone because a
-golden moon looked down upon it from a clear sky, and the tide had left
-it wet.
-
-David stood upon the shining sand, and saw the Woman of the Dream stand
-where the moon-track ceased at the sea’s rim. The moon was behind her
-head, and the wind blew out her hair. He stood as he had stood a hundred
-times, and as he had longed a hundred times to see the Woman’s face, so
-he longed now. He moved to go to her, and the wind blew about him in his
-dream.
-
-Elizabeth had sat late in her room. There was a book in her hand, but
-after a time she did not read. The night was very warm. She got up and
-opened the window wide. The moon was low and nearly full, and a wind
-blew out of the west—such a warm wind, full of the scent of green,
-growing things. Elizabeth put out the light and stood by the window,
-drawing long breaths. It seemed as if the wind were blowing right
-through her. It beat upon her uncovered throat, and the touch of it was
-like something alive. It sang in her ears, and Elizabeth’s blood sang
-too.
-
-And then, quite suddenly, she heard a sound that stopped her heart. She
-heard the handle of the door between her room and David’s turn softly,
-and she heard a step upon the threshold. All her life was at her heart,
-waiting. She could neither move, nor speak, nor draw her breath. And the
-wind blew out her long white dress, and the wind blew out her hair. As
-in a trance between one world and the next, she heard a voice in the
-room. It was David’s voice, and yet not David’s voice, and it shook the
-very foundations of her being.
-
-“Turn round and let me see your face, Woman of my Dream,” said David
-Blake.
-
-Elizabeth stood quite still. Only her breath came again. The wind
-brought it back to her, and as she drew it in, the step came nearer and
-David said again:
-
-“Show me your face—your face; I have never seen your face.”
-
-She turned then, very slowly—in obedience to an effort, that left her
-drained of strength.
-
-David was standing in the middle of the room. His feet were bare, as he
-had risen from his bed, but his eyes were open, and they looked not at,
-but through Elizabeth, to the place where she walked in his dream.
-
-“Ah!” said David on a long, slow, sudden breath.
-
-He came nearer—nearer. Now he stood beside her, and the wind swept
-suddenly between them, and eddying, drove a great swathe of her
-unfastened hair across his breast. David put up his hand and touched the
-hair.
-
-“But I can’t see your face,” he said, in a strange, complaining note.
-“The moon shines on your hair, but not upon your face. Show me your
-face—your face——”
-
-She moved, and the moon shone on her. Her face was as white as ivory.
-Her eyes wide and dark—as dark as the darkening sky. They stood in
-silence, and the moon sank low.
-
-Then David put out his hands and touched her on the breast.
-
-“Now I have seen your face,” he said. “Now I am content because I have
-seen your face. I have gone hungry for the sight of it, and have gone
-thirsty for the love of you, and all the years I have never seen your
-face.”
-
-“And now——?”
-
-Elizabeth’s voice came in a whisper.
-
-“Now I am content.”
-
-“Why?”
-
-“Your face is the face of Love,” said David Blake.
-
-His hands still held her hair. They lay against her heart, and moved a
-little as she breathed.
-
-A sudden terror raised its head and peered at Elizabeth. Mary—oh, God—if
-he took her for Mary. The thought struck her as with a spear of ice. It
-burned as ice burns, and froze her as ice freezes. Her lips were stiff
-as she forced out the words:
-
-“Who am I? Say.”
-
-His hands were warm. He answered her at once.
-
-“We are in the Dream, you and I. You are the Woman of the Dream. Your
-face is the face of Love, and your hair—your floating hair—” He paused.
-
-“My hair—what colour is my hair?” whispered Elizabeth.
-
-“Your hair—” He lifted a strand of it. The wind played through it, and
-it brushed his cheek, then fell again upon her breast. His hand closed
-down upon it.
-
-“What colour is my hair?” said Elizabeth very quietly. Mary’s hair was
-dark. Even in the moonlight, Mary’s hair would be dark. If he said dark
-hair, dark like the night which would close upon them when that low moon
-was gone—what should she do—oh, God, what should she do?
-
-“Your hair is gold—moon gold, which is pale as a dream,” said David
-Blake. And a great shudder ran through Elizabeth from head to foot as
-the ice went from her heart.
-
-“Like moon gold,” repeated David, and his hands were warm against her
-breast.
-
-And then all at once they were in the dark together, for the moon went
-out suddenly like a blown candle. She had dropped into a bank of clouds
-that rose from the clouding west. The wind blew a little chill, and as
-suddenly as the light had gone, David, too, was gone. One moment, so
-near—touching her in the darkness—and the next, gone—gone noiselessly,
-leaving her shaking, quivering.
-
-When she could move, she lit a candle and looked in through the open
-door. David lay upon his side, with one hand under his cheek. He was
-sleeping like a child.
-
-Elizabeth shut the door.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVIII
- THE FACE OF LOVE
-
-
- Where have I seen these tall black trees,
- Two and two and three—yes, seven,
- Standing all about in a ring,
- And pointing up to Heaven?
-
- Where have I seen this black, black pool,
- That never ruffles to any breath,
- But stares and stares at the empty sky,
- As silently as death?
-
- How did we come here, you and I,
- With the pool beneath, and the trees above?
- Oh, even in death or the dusk of a dream,
- You are heart of the heart of Love.
-
-Elizabeth was very pale when she came down the next day. As she dressed,
-she could hear David singing and whistling in his room. He went down the
-stairs like a schoolboy, and when she followed she found him opening his
-letters and whistling still.
-
-“Hullo!” he said. “Good-morning. You’re late, and I’ve only got half an
-hour to breakfast in. I’m starving, I don’t believe you gave me any
-dinner last night. I shall be late for lunch. Give me something cold
-when I come in, I’ve got a pretty full day——”
-
-Elizabeth wondered as she listened to him if it were she who had
-dreamed.
-
-That evening he looked up suddenly from his book and said:
-
-“Was the moon full last night?”
-
-“Not quite.”
-
-Elizabeth was startled. Did he, after all, remember anything?
-
-“When is it full?”
-
-“To-morrow, I think. Why?”
-
-Her breathing quickened a little as she asked the question.
-
-“Because I dreamed my dream again last night, and it generally comes
-when the moon is full,” he said.
-
-Elizabeth turned, as if to get more light upon her book. She could not
-sit and let him see her face.
-
-“Your dream——?”
-
-Her voice was low.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-He paused for so long that the silence seemed to close upon Elizabeth.
-Then he said thoughtfully:
-
-“Dreams are odd things. I’ve had this one off and on since I was a boy.
-And it’s always the same. But I have not had it for months. Then last
-night—” He broke off. “Do you know I’ve never told any one about it
-before—does it bore you?”
-
-“No,” said Elizabeth, and could not have said more to save her life.
-
-“It’s a queer dream, and it never varies. There’s always the same long,
-wet stretch of sand, and the moon shining over the sea. And a woman——”
-
-“Yes——”
-
-“She stands at the edge of the sea with the moon behind her, and the
-wind—did I tell you about the wind?—it blows her hair and her dress. And
-I have never seen her face.”
-
-“No?”
-
-“No, never. I’ve always wanted to, but I can never get near enough, and
-the moon is behind her. When I was a boy, I used to walk in my sleep
-when I had the dream. I used to wake up in all sorts of odd places. Once
-I got as far as the front-door step, and waked with my feet on the wet
-stones. I suppose I was looking for the Woman.”
-
-Elizabeth took a grip of herself.
-
-“Do you walk in your sleep now?”
-
-He shook his head.
-
-“Oh, no. Not since I was a boy,” he said cheerfully. “Mrs. Havergill
-would have evolved a ghost story long ago if I had.”
-
-“And last night your dream was just the same?”
-
-“Yes, just the same. It always ends just when it might get exciting.”
-
-“Did you wake?”
-
-“No. That’s the odd part. One is supposed to dream only when one is
-waking, and of course it’s very hard to tell, but my impression is, that
-at the point where my dream ends I drop more deeply asleep. Dreams are
-queer things. I don’t know why I told you about this one.”
-
-He took up his book as he spoke, and they talked no more.
-
- * * * * * * * *
-
-Elizabeth went to her room early that night, but she did not get into
-bed. She moved about the room, hanging up the dress she had worn,
-folding her things—even sorting out a drawer full of odds and ends. It
-seemed as if she must occupy herself.
-
-Presently she heard David come up and go into his room. She went on
-rolling up stray bits of lace and ribbon with fingers that seemed oddly
-numb. When she had finished, she began to brush her hair, standing
-before the glass, and brushing with a long, rhythmic movement. After
-about ten minutes she turned suddenly and blew out the candle. She went
-to the window and opened it wide.
-
-Then, because she was trembling, she sat down on the window-seat and
-waited. The night came into the room and filled it. The trees moved
-above the water. The rumble of traffic in the High Street sounded very
-far away. It had nothing to do with the world in which Elizabeth waited.
-There was no wind to-night. It was very still and warm. The moon shone.
-
-When the door opened, Elizabeth knew that she had known that he would
-come. He crossed the room and took her in his arms. She felt his arms
-about her, she felt his kiss, and there was nothing of the unsubstantial
-stuff of dreams in his strong clasp. For one moment, as her lips kissed
-too, she thought that he was awake—that he had remembered, but as she
-stepped back and looked into his face she saw that he was in his dream.
-His eyes looked far away. Then he kissed her again, and dreaming or
-waking her soul went out of her and was his soul, her very consciousness
-was no more hers, but his, and she, too, saw that strange, moon-guarded
-shore, and she, too, heard the wind. But the night—the night was still.
-Where did it come from, this sudden rush of the wind, that seemed to
-blow through her? From far away it came, from very far away, and it
-passed through her and on to its own far place again, a rushing eddy of
-wind, whirling about some unknown centre.
-
-Elizabeth was giddy and faint with the singing of that wind in her ears.
-The moon was in her eyes. She trembled, and hid them upon David’s
-breast.
-
-“David,” she whispered at last, and he answered her.
-
-“Love—love——”
-
-She turned a little from the light and looked at him. There was a smile
-upon his face, and his eyes smiled too.
-
-“Where are we?” she said. And David laid his face against hers and said:
-
-“We are in the Dream.”
-
-“David, what is the Dream? Do you know? Tell me.”
-
-“It is the Dream,” he said, “the old dream, the dream that has no
-waking.”
-
-“And who am I? Am I Elizabeth?” She feared so much to say it, and could
-not rest till it was said.
-
-“Elizabeth.” He repeated the word, and paused. His eyes clouded.
-
-“You are the Woman of the Dream.”
-
-“But I have a name——”
-
-“Yes—you have a name, but I have forgotten—if I could remember it. It is
-the name—the old name—the name you had before the moon went down. It was
-at night. You kissed me. There were so many trees. I knew your name.
-Then the moon went down, and it was dark, and I forgot—not you—only the
-name. Are you angry, love, because I have forgotten your name?”
-
-There was trouble in his tone.
-
-“No, not angry,” said Elizabeth, with a quiver in her voice. “Will you
-call me Elizabeth, David? Will you say Elizabeth to me?”
-
-He said “Elizabeth,” and as he said it his face changed. For a moment
-she thought that he was waking. His arms dropped from about her, and he
-drew a long, deep breath that was like a sigh.
-
-Then he went slowly from her into the darkness of his own room, walking
-as if he saw.
-
-Elizabeth fell on her knees by the window-seat and hid her face. The
-wind still sang in her ears.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIX
- THE FULL MOON
-
-
- The sun was cold, the dark dead Moon
- Hung low behind dull leaden bars,
- And you came barefoot down the sky
- Between the grey unlighted Stars.
-
- You laid your hand upon my soul,
- My soul that cried to you for rest,
- And all the light of the lost Sun
- Was in the comfort of your breast.
-
- There was no veil upon your heart,
- There was no veil upon your eyes;
- I did not know the Stars were dim,
- Nor long for that dead Moon to rise.
-
-They dined with Edward and Mary next day.
-
-The centipedes were still immured, and Edward made tentative overtures
-to David on the subject of broaching the case after dinner.
-
-“Edward is the soul of hospitality,” David said afterwards. “He keeps
-his best to the end. First, a positively good dinner, then some
-comparatively enjoyable music, and, last of all, the superlatively
-enthralling centipedes.”
-
-At the time, he complied with a very good grace. He even contrived a
-respectable degree of enthusiasm when the subject came up.
-
-It was Mary who insisted on the comparatively agreeable music.
-
-“No—I will not have you two going off by yourselves the moment you’ve
-swallowed your dinner. It’s not _good_ for people. Edward will certainly
-have indigestion—yes, Edward, you know you will. Come and have coffee
-with us in a proper and decent fashion, and we’ll have some music, and
-then you shall do anything you like, and I’ll talk to Elizabeth.”
-
-Edward sang only one song, and then said that he was hoarse, which was
-not true. But Elizabeth was glad when the door closed upon him and
-David, for the song Edward had sung was the one thing on earth which she
-felt least able to hear. He sang, _O Moon of my Delight_, transposed by
-Mary to suit his voice, and he sang it with his usual tuneful
-correctness.
-
-Elizabeth looked up only once, and that was just at the end. David was
-looking at her with a frown of perplexity. But as Edward remarked that
-he was hoarse, David passed his hand across his eyes for a moment, as if
-to brush something away, and rose with alacrity to leave the room.
-
-When they were gone Mary drew a chair close to her sister and sat down.
-She was rather silent for a time, and Elizabeth was beginning to find it
-hard to keep her own thoughts at bay, when Mary said in a new, gentle
-voice:
-
-“Liz, I’m so _happy_.”
-
-“Are you, Molly?” She spoke rather absently, and Mary became softly
-offended.
-
-“Don’t you want to know why, Liz? I don’t believe you care a bit. I
-don’t believe you’d mind if I were ever so miserable, now that you’ve
-got David, and are happy yourself!”
-
-Elizabeth came back to her surroundings.
-
-“Oh, Molly, what a goose you are, and what a monster you make me out.
-What is it, Mollykins, tell me?”
-
-“I’ve a great mind not to. I don’t believe you really care. I wouldn’t
-tell you a word, only I can’t help it. Oh, Liz, I’m going to have a
-baby, and I thought I never should. I was making myself _wretched_ about
-it.”
-
-She caught Elizabeth’s hand and squeezed it.
-
-“Oh, Liz, be glad for me. I’m so glad and happy, and I want some one to
-be glad too. You don’t know how I’ve wanted it. No one knows. I’ve
-simply hated all the people in the _Morning Post_ who had babies. I’ve
-not even read the first column for weeks, and when Sybil Delamere sent
-me an invitation to her baby’s christening—she was married the same day
-I was, you know—I just tore it up and _burnt_ it. And now it’s really
-coming to me, and you’re to be glad for me, Liz.”
-
-“Molly, darling, I _am_ glad—so glad.”
-
-“Really?”
-
-Mary looked up into her sister’s face, searchingly.
-
-“You’re thinking of me, _really_ of me—not about David, as you were just
-now? Oh, yes, I knew.”
-
-Elizabeth laughed.
-
-“Really, Molly, mayn’t I think of my own husband?”
-
-“Not when I’m telling you about a thing like this,” said Mary. “Liz, you
-are the first person I have told, the _very_ first.”
-
-Elizabeth did not allow her thoughts to wander again. As they talked,
-the rain beat heavily against the windows, and they heard the rush of it
-in the gutters below.
-
-“What a pity,” Mary cried. “How quickly it has come up, and last night
-was so lovely. Did you see the moon? And to-night it is full.”
-
-“Yes, to-night it is full,” said Elizabeth.
-
-Edward and Mary came down to see their guests off. Edward shut the door
-behind them.
-
-“What a night!” he exclaimed. But Mary came close and whispered:
-
-“I’ve told her.”
-
-“Have you?”
-
-Edward’s tone was just the least shade perfunctory. He slid home the
-bolt of the door and turning, caught Mary in his arms and hugged her.
-
-“O Mary, _darling_!”
-
-Mary glowed, responsive.
-
-“O Mary, darling, it really _is_ a new spider,” he cried.
-
-David and Elizabeth walked home in a steady downpour. Mary had lent her
-overshoes, and she had tucked up her dress under a mackintosh of
-Edward’s. There was much merriment over their departure with a large
-umbrella between them, but as they walked home, they both grew silent.
-Elizabeth said good-night in the hall, and ran up to her room. To-night
-he would not come. Oh, to-night she felt quite sure that he would not
-come. It was dark. She heard the rain falling into the river, and she
-could just see how the trees bent in the rush of it. And yet she sat for
-an hour, by her window, in the dark, waiting breathlessly for that which
-would not happen.
-
-The time went slowly by. The rain fell, and it was cold. Elizabeth lay
-down in the great square bed, and presently she slept, lulled by the
-steady dropping of the rain. She slept, and in her sleep she dreamed
-that she was sinking fathoms deep in a stormy, angry sea. Far overhead,
-she could hear the clash of the waves, and the long, long sullen roar of
-the swelling storm. And she went down and down into a black darkness
-that was deeper than any night—down, till she lost the roar of the storm
-above, down until all sound was gone, and she was alone in a black
-silence that would never lift or break again. Her soul was cold and
-blind, and most unendurably alone. Then something touched her, something
-that was warm. There came upon her that strange sense of home-coming,
-which comes to us in dreams, when love comes back to us across the
-sundering years, and all the pains of life, the pains of death, vanish
-and are gone, and we are come home—home to the place where we would be.
-
-In her dream Elizabeth was come home. It was so long, so long, that she
-had wandered—so many years, so many lands—such weary feet and such a
-weary way. Now she was come home.
-
-She stirred and opened her eyes. The rain had ceased. The room was dark,
-but the moon shone, for a single shaft struck between the curtains and
-lay above the bed like a silver feather dropped from some great passing
-wing.
-
-Elizabeth was awake. She saw these things. She was come home. David’s
-arms were about her in the darkness.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XX
- THE WOMAN OF THE DREAM
-
-
- Oh, was it in the dead of night,
- Or in the dark before the day,
- You came to me and kneeling, knew
- The thing that I would never say?
-
- There was no star, nor any moon,
- There was no light from pole to pole,
- And yet you saw the secret thing,
- That I had hid within my soul.
-
- You saw the secret and the shrine,
- You bowed your head and went your way—
- Oh, was it in the dead of night,
- Or in the dark that brings the day?
-
-For the next fortnight Elizabeth lived in a dream from which she
-scarcely woke by day. The dream life—the dream love—the dream
-itself—these became her life. In the moments that came nearest the
-waking she trembled, because if the dream was her life, the waking would
-be death. But for the rest of the time she walked in a trance. Earth
-budded, and the birds built nests. The green of woodland places went
-down under a flood of bluebells. The children made cowslip balls. All
-day long the sun shone out of a blue sky, and at night David came to
-her. Always he came at night, and went away in the dawn. And he
-remembered nothing.
-
-Once she put her face to his in the darkness, and said:
-
-“Oh, David, won’t you remember—won’t you ever remember? Am I only the
-Woman of the Dream? When will you remember?”
-
-Then David was troubled in his dream, and stirred and went from her an
-hour before the time of his going.
-
-Towards the end of the fortnight her trance wore thin. It was then that
-everything she saw or read seemed to press in upon one sore spot. If she
-went to the Mottisfonts’, there was Mary with her talk of Edward and the
-baby. Edward!—Elizabeth could have laughed; but the laughter went too.
-If there were not much of Edward, at least Mary had all that there was.
-And the child—did not she, too, desire children? But the child of a
-dream. How could she give to David the child of a dream already
-forgotten? If she walked, there were lovers in every lane, young lovers,
-who loved each other by day and in the eye of the sun. If she took up a
-book—once what she read was:
-
- Come to me in my dreams, and then
- By day I shall be well again!
- For then the night will more than pay
- The hopeless longing of the day.
-
-and another time, Kingsley’s _Dolcino to Margaret_. Then came a day when
-she opened her Bible and read:
-
-“If a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in
-him.”
-
-That day she came broad awake. The daze passed from her. Her brain was
-clear, and her conscience—the inner vision rose before her, showing her
-an image troubled and confused. What had she done? And what was she
-doing now? Day by day David looked at her with the eyes of a friend, and
-night by night he came to her, the lover of a dream. Which was the
-reality? Which was the real David? If the David of the dream were real,
-conscious in sleep of some mysterious oneness, the sense of which was
-lost in the glare of day—then she could wait, and bear, and hope, till
-the realisation was so strong that the sun might shine upon it and show
-to David awake what the sleeping David knew.
-
-But if the David of the dream were not the real David, then what was
-she? Mistress and no wife—the mistress of a dream mood that never
-touched Reality at all.
-
-Two scalding tears in Elizabeth’s eyes—two and no more. The others
-burned her heart.
-
-And the thought stayed with her.
-
-That evening after dinner Elizabeth looked up from her embroidery. The
-silence had grown to be too full of thoughts. She could not bear it.
-
-“What are you reading, David?” she asked.
-
-He laughed and said:
-
-“Sentimental poetry, ma’am. Would you have suspected me of it? I find it
-very soothing.”
-
-“Do you?”
-
-She paused, and then said with a flutter in her throat:
-
-“Do you ever write poetry now, David? You used to.”
-
-“Yes, I remember boring you with it.”
-
-He coloured a little as he spoke.
-
-“But since then?”
-
-“Oh, yes——”
-
-“Show me some——”
-
-“Not for the world.”
-
-“Why not?”
-
-“Poetry is such an awful give away. How any one ever dares to publish
-any, I don’t know. I suppose they get hardened. But one’s most private
-letters aren’t a patch on it. One puts down all one’s grumbles, one’s
-moonstruck fancies, the ravings of one’s inanest moments. Mine are not
-for circulation, thanks.”
-
-Elizabeth did not laugh. Instead she said, quite seriously,
-
-“David, I wish you would show me some of it.”
-
-He looked rather surprised, but got up, and presently came back with
-some papers in his hand, and threw them into her lap.
-
-“There. There’s one there that’s rather odd. It’s rotten poetry, but it
-gave me the oddest feelings when I wrote it. See if it does the same to
-you,” and he laughed.
-
-There were three poems in Elizabeth’s lap. The first was a vigorous bit
-of work—a ballad with a good ballad swing to it. Elizabeth read it and
-applauded.
-
-“This is much better than your old things,” she said, and he was
-manifestly pleased.
-
-The next was a set of clever verses on a political topic of passing
-interest. Elizabeth laughed over it and laid it aside. Her thoughts were
-pleasantly diverted. Anything was welcome that brought her nearer to the
-David of the day.
-
-She took up the third poem. It was called:
-
-
- Egypt
-
- Egypt sands are burning hot.
- Burning hot and dry,
- How they scorched us as we worked,
- Toiling, you and I,
- When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.
-
- Heaven like hammered brass above,
- Earth like brass below,
- How the sweat of torment ran,
- All those years ago,
- When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.
-
- When the dreadful day was done,
- Night was like your eyes,
- Sweet and cool and comforting—
- We were very wise,
- When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.
-
- We were very wise, my dear,
- Children, lovers, gods,
- Where’s the wisdom that we knew,
- With our world at odds,
- When we built the Pyramid in Egypt?
-
- Now your hand is strange to mine,
- Now you heed me not,
- Life and death and love and pain,
- You have quite forgot,
- You have quite forgotten me and Egypt.
-
- I would bear it all again,
- Just to take your hand,
- Bend my body to the whip,
- Tread the burning sand,
- Build another Pyramid in Egypt.
-
- Toiling, toiling, all the day,
- Loving you by night,
- I’d go back three thousand years
- If I only might,—
- Back to toil and pain and you and Egypt.
-
-When she looked up at the end, David spoke at once.
-
-“Well,” he said, “what does it say to you?”
-
-“I don’t quite know.”
-
-“It set up one of those curious thought-waves. One seems to remember
-something out of an extraordinarily distant past. Have you ever felt it?
-I believe most people have. There are all sorts of theories to account
-for it. The two sides of the brain working unequally, and several
-others. But the impression is common enough, and the theories have been
-made to fit it. Of course the one that fits most happily is the
-hopelessly unscientific one of reincarnation. Well, my thought-wave took
-me back to Egypt and——”
-
-He hesitated.
-
-“Tell me.”
-
-Elizabeth’s voice was eager.
-
-“Oh, nothing.”
-
-“Yes, tell me.”
-
-He laughed at her earnestness.
-
-“Well, then—I saw the woman’s eyes.”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“They were grey. That’s all. And I thought it odd.”
-
-He broke off, and Elizabeth asked no more. She knew very well why he had
-thought it odd that the woman’s eyes should be grey. The poems were
-dated, and _Egypt_ bore the date of a year ago. He was in love with Mary
-then, and Mary’s eyes were dark—dark hazel eyes.
-
-That night she woke from a dream of Mary, and heard David whispering a
-name in his sleep, but she could not catch the name. The old shamed
-dread and horror came upon her, strong and unbroken. She slipped from
-bed, and stood by the window, panting for breath. And out of the
-darkness David called to her:
-
-“Love, where are you gone to?”
-
-If he would say her name—if he would only say her name. She had no words
-to answer him, but she heard him rise and come to her.
-
-“Why did you go away?” he said, touching her. And as she had done once
-before, Elizabeth cried out.
-
-“Who am I, David?—tell me! Am I Mary?”
-
-He repeated the name slowly, and each repetition was a wound.
-
-“Mary,” he said, wonderingly, “there is no Mary in the Dream. There are
-only you and I—and you are Love——”
-
-“And if I went out of the Dream?” said Elizabeth, leaning against his
-breast. The comfort of his touch stole back into her heart. Her
-breathing steadied.
-
-“Then I would come and find you,” said David Blake.
-
-It was the next day that Agneta’s letter came. Elizabeth opened it at
-breakfast and exclaimed.
-
-“What is it?”
-
-She lifted a face of distress.
-
-“David, should you mind if I were to go away for a little? Agneta wants
-me.”
-
-“Agneta?”
-
-“Yes, Agneta Mainwaring. You remember, I used to go and stay with the
-Mainwarings in Devonshire.”
-
-“Yes, I remember. What’s the matter with her?”
-
-“She is engaged to Douglas Strange, the explorer, and there are—rumours
-that his whole party has been massacred. He was working across Africa.
-She wants me to come to her. I think I must. You don’t mind, do you?”
-
-“No, of course not. When do you want to go?”
-
-“I should like to go to-day. I could send her a wire,” said Elizabeth.
-“I hope it’s only a rumour, and not true, but I must go.”
-
-David nodded.
-
-“Don’t take it too much to heart, that’s all,” he said.
-
-He said good-bye to her before he went out, told her to take care of
-herself, asked her to write, and inquired if she wanted any money.
-
-When he had gone, Elizabeth told herself that this was the end of the
-Dream. She could drift no more with the tide of that moon-watched sea.
-She must think things out and come to some decision. Hitherto, if she
-thought by day, the night with its glamour threw over her thoughts a
-rainbow mist that hid and confused them. Now Agneta needed her, there
-would be work for her to do. And she would not see David again until she
-could look her conscience in the face.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXI
- ELIZABETH BLAKE
-
-
- Oh, that I had wings, yea wings like a dove,
- Then would I flee away and be at rest;
- Lo, the dove hath wings because she is a dove,
- God gave her wings and bade her build her nest.
- Thy wings are stronger far, strong wings of love,
- Thy home is sure in His unchanging rest.
-
-Elizabeth went up to London by the 12.22, which is a fast train, and
-only stops once.
-
-She found Agneta, worn, tired, and cross.
-
-“Thank Heaven, you’ve come, Lizabeth,” she said. “All my relations have
-been to see me. They are so kind. They are so _dreadfully_ kind, and
-they all talk about its being God’s Will, and tell me what a beautiful
-thing resignation is. If I believed in a God who arranged for people to
-murder each other in order to give some one else a moral lesson, I’d
-shoot myself. I really would. And resignation is a perfectly horrible
-thing. I do think I must be getting a little better than I used to be,
-because I wasn’t even rude to Aunt Henrietta, who told me I ought not to
-repine, because all was for the best. She said there were many trials in
-the married state, and that those who did not marry were spared the
-sorrow of losing a child or having an unfaithful husband. I really
-wasn’t rude to her, Lizabeth—I swear I wasn’t. But when I saw my cousin,
-Mabel Aston, coming up the street—you always can see her a mile off—I
-told Jane to say that I was very sorry, but I really couldn’t see any
-one. Mabel won’t ever forgive me, because all the other relations will
-tell her that I saw them. I told them every one that I was perfectly
-certain that Douglas was all right. And so I am. Yes, really. But, oh,
-Lizabeth, how I do hate the newspapers.”
-
-“I shouldn’t read them,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“I don’t! Nothing would induce me to. But I can’t stop my relations from
-quoting reams of them, verbatim. By the by, do you mind dining at seven
-to-night? I want to go to church. I don’t want you or Louis to come.
-Heavens, Lizabeth, you’ve no idea what a relief it is not to have to be
-polite, and say you want people when you don’t.”
-
-When Agneta had gone out Elizabeth talked to Louis for a little, and
-then read. Presently she stopped reading and leaned back with closed
-eyes, thinking first of Agneta, then of herself and David. Louis’s voice
-broke in upon her thoughts.
-
-“Lizabeth, what _is_ it?”
-
-She was startled.
-
-“Oh, I was just thinking.”
-
-He frowned.
-
-“What is the good?” he said. “I told you I could see. You’re troubled,
-horribly troubled about something. And it’s not Agneta. What is it?”
-
-Elizabeth was rather pale.
-
-“Oh, Louis,” she said, “please don’t. I’d rather you didn’t. And it’s
-not what you think. It’s not really a trouble. I’m puzzled. I don’t know
-what to do. There’s something I have to think out. And it’s not clear—I
-can’t quite see——”
-
-Louis regarded her seriously.
-
-“If any man lack wisdom,” he said. “That’s a pretty good thing in the
-pike-staff line. Good Lord, fancy me preaching to you. It’s amusing,
-isn’t it?”
-
-He laughed a little.
-
-Elizabeth nodded.
-
-“You can go on,” she said.
-
-He considered.
-
-“I don’t know that I’ve got anything more to say except that—things that
-puzzle one—there’s always the touchstone of reality. And things one
-doesn’t want to do because they’re difficult, or because they hurt, or
-because they take us away from something we’ve set our heart on—well—if
-they’re right, they’re right, and there’s an end of it. And the right
-thing, well, it’s the best thing all round. And when we get where we can
-see it properly, it’s—well, it’s trumps all right.”
-
-Elizabeth nodded again.
-
-“Thank you, Louis,” she said. “I’ve been shirking. I think I’ve really
-known it all along. Only when one shirks, it’s part of it to wrap
-oneself up in a sort of mist, and call everything by a wrong name. I’ve
-got to change my labels....”
-
-Her voice died away, and they sat silent until Agneta’s key was heard in
-the latch. She came in looking rested.
-
-“Nice church?” said Elizabeth.
-
-“Yes,” said Agneta, “very nice. I feel better.”
-
-During the week that followed, Elizabeth had very little time to spare
-for her own concerns, and Agneta clung to her and clung to hope, and day
-by day the hope grew fainter. It was the half-hours when they waited for
-the telephone bell to ring that brought the grey threads into Agneta’s
-hair. Twice daily Louis rang up, and each time, after the same agonising
-suspense, came the same message, “No news yet.” Towards the end of the
-week, there was a wire to say that a rumour had reached the coast that
-Mr. Strange was alive and on his way down the river.
-
-It was then that Agneta broke down. Whilst all had despaired, she had
-held desperately to hope, but when Louis followed his message home, he
-found Agneta with her head in Elizabeth’s lap, weeping slow, hopeless
-tears.
-
-Then, forty-eight hours later, Douglas Strange himself cabled in code to
-say that he had abandoned part of his journey owing to a native rising,
-and was returning at once to England.
-
-“And now, Lizabeth,” said Agneta, “now your visit begins, please. This
-hasn’t been a visit, it has been purgatory. I’m sure we’ve both expiated
-all the sins we’ve ever committed or are likely to commit. Louis, take
-the receiver off that brute of a telephone. I shall _never, never_ hear
-a telephone bell again without wanting to scream. Lizabeth, let’s go to
-a music hall.”
-
-Next day Agneta said suddenly:
-
-“Lizabeth, what is it?”
-
-“What is what?”
-
-Agneta’s little dark face became serious.
-
-“Lizabeth, I’ve been a beast. I’ve only been thinking about myself. Now
-it’s your turn. What’s the matter?”
-
-Elizabeth was silent.
-
-“Mayn’t I ask? Do you mind?”
-
-Elizabeth shook her head.
-
-“Which is the ‘no’ for?”
-
-“Both,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“I mustn’t ask then. You’d rather not talk about it? Really?”
-
-“Yes, really, Neta, dear.”
-
-“Right you are.”
-
-Agneta was silent for a few minutes. They were sitting together in the
-firelight, and she watched the play of light and shade upon Elizabeth’s
-face. It was beautiful, but troubled.
-
-“Lizabeth, you used not to be beautiful, but you are beautiful now,” she
-said suddenly.
-
-“Am I?”
-
-“Yes, I always loved your face, but it wasn’t really beautiful. Now I
-think it is.”
-
-“Anything else?” Elizabeth laughed a little.
-
-“Yes, the patient look has gone. You used to look so patient that it
-_hurt_. As if you were carrying a heavy load and just knew you had got
-to carry it without making any fuss.”
-
-“Issachar, in fact——”
-
-“No, not then, but I’m not so sure now. I _think_ there _are_ two
-burdens now.”
-
-Elizabeth laid her hand on Agneta’s lips.
-
-“Agneta, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Stop thought-reading this
-very minute. I never gave you leave.”
-
-“Sorry.” Agneta kissed the hand against her lips and laid it back in
-Elizabeth’s lap. “Oh, Lizabeth, _why_ didn’t you marry Louis?” she said,
-and Elizabeth saw that her eyes were full of tears. The firelight danced
-on a brilliant, falling drop.
-
-“Because I love David,” said Elizabeth. “And love is worth while,
-Agneta. It is very well worth while. You knew it was when you thought
-that Douglas was dead. Would you have gone back to a year ago?”
-
-“Ah, Lizabeth, don’t,” said Agneta.
-
-She leaned her head against Elizabeth’s knee and was still.
-
-All that week, Elizabeth slept little and thought much. And her thought
-was prayer. She did not kneel when she prayed, and she had her own idea
-of what prayer should be. Not petition. The Kingdom of Heaven is about
-us. We have but to open our eyes and take what is our own. Therefore not
-petition. What Elizabeth called prayer was far more like taking
-something out of the darkness, to look at it in the light. And before
-the light, all things evil, all things that were not good and not of
-God, vanished and were not. If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall
-be full of light. In this manner, David’s sleeplessness had been changed
-to rest and healing, and in this same manner, Elizabeth now knew that
-she must test the strange dream-state in which David loved her. And in
-her heart of hearts she did not think that it would stand the test. She
-believed that, subjected to this form of prayer, the dream would vanish
-and she be left alone.
-
-She faced the probability, and facing it, she prayed for light, for
-wisdom, for the Reality that annihilates the shadows of man’s thought.
-When she used words at all, they were the words of St. Patrick’s prayer:
-
- I bind to myself to-day,
- The Power of God to protect me,
- The Might of God to uphold me,
- The Wisdom of God to guide me,
- The Light of God to shine upon me,
- The Love of God to encompass me.
-
-During these days Agneta looked at her anxiously, but she asked no
-questions at all, and Elizabeth loved her for it.
-
-Elizabeth went home on the 15th of June. After hard struggle, she had
-come into a place of clear vision. If the dream stood the test, if in
-spite of all her strivings towards Truth, David still came to her, she
-would take the dream to be an earnest of some future waking. If the
-dream ceased, if David came no more, then she must cast her bread of
-love upon the waters of the Infinite, God only knowing, if after many
-days, she should be fed.
-
-David was very much pleased to have her back. He told her so with a
-laugh—confessed that he had missed her.
-
-When Elizabeth went to her room that night, she sat down on the
-window-seat and watched. It had rained, but the night was clear again.
-She looked from the window, and the midsummer beauty slid into her soul.
-The rain had washed the sky to an unearthly translucent purity, but out
-of the west streamed a radiance of turquoise light. It filled the night,
-and as it mounted towards the zenith, the throbbing colour passed by
-imperceptible degrees into a sapphire haze. The horizon was a ghostly
-line of far, pure emerald. This transfiguring glow had all the sunset’s
-fire, only there was neither red nor gold in it. The ether itself
-flamed, and the colour of that flame was blue. It was the light of
-vision, the very light of a Midsummer’s Dream. The cloud that had shed
-the rain brooded apart with wings of folded gloom. Two or three drifting
-feathers of dark grey vapour barred the burning blue. Perishably fine,
-they dissolved against the glow, and one amazing star showed translucent
-at the vapour’s edge, now veiled, now blazing out as the mist wavered
-and withdrew from so much brightness. A night for love, a night for
-lovers’ dreams.
-
-Yearning came upon Elizabeth like a flood. Just once more to see him
-look at her with love. Just once more—once more, to feel his arms, his
-kiss—to weep upon his breast and say farewell.
-
-She put her hand out waveringly until it touched the wall. She shut her
-eyes against the beauty of the night, and strove with the longing that
-rent her. Her lips framed broken words. She said them over and over
-again until the tumult died in her, and she was mistress of her
-thoughts. Immortal love could never lose by Truth.
-
-Now she could look again upon the night. The trees were very black. The
-wind stirred them. The sky was full of light made mystical. Which of the
-temples that man has built, has light for its walls, and cloud and fire
-for its pillars? In which of them has the sun his tabernacle, through
-which of them does the moon pass, by a path of silver adoration? What
-altar is served by the rushing winds and lighted by the stars? In all
-the temples that man has made, man bows his head and worships, but in
-the Temple of the Universe it is the Heavens themselves that declare the
-Glory of God.
-
-Elizabeth’s thought rose up and up. In the divine peace it rested and
-was stilled.
-
-And David did not come.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXII
- AFTER THE DREAM
-
-
- In Him we live, He is our Source, our Spring,
- And we, His fashioning,
- We have no sight except by His foreseeing,
- In Him we live and move and have our being,
- He spake the Word, and lo! Creation stood,
- And God said, It is good.
-
-David came no more. The dream was done. During the summer days there
-rang continually in Elizabeth’s ears the words of a song—one of
-Christina’s wonderful songs that sing themselves with no other music at
-all.
-
- The hope I dreamed of was a dream,
- Was but a dream, and now I wake
- Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
- For a dream’s sake.
-
-“Exceeding comfortless.” Yes, there were hours when that was true. She
-had taken her heart and broken it for Truth’s sake, and the broken thing
-cried aloud of its hurt. Only by much striving could she still it and
-find peace.
-
-The glamour of the June days was gone too. July was a wet and stormy
-month, and Elizabeth was thankful for the rain and the cold, at which
-all the world was grumbling.
-
-Mary came in one July day with a face that matched the weather.
-
-“Why, Molly,” said Elizabeth, kissing her, “what’s the matter, child?”
-
-Mary might have asked the same question, but she was a great deal too
-much taken up with her own affairs.
-
-“Edward and I have quarrelled,” she said with a sob in the words, and
-sitting down, she burst into uncontrollable tears.
-
-“But what is it all about?” asked Elizabeth, with her arm around her
-sister. “Molly, do hush. It is so bad for you. What has Edward done?”
-
-“Men are brutes,” declared Mary.
-
-“Now, I’m sure Edward isn’t,” returned Elizabeth, with real conviction.
-
-Mary sat up.
-
-“He is,” she declared. “No, Liz, just listen. It was all over baby’s
-name.”
-
-“What, already?”
-
-“Well, of course, one plans things. If one doesn’t, well, there was
-Dorothy Jackson—don’t you remember? She was very ill, and the baby had
-to be christened in a hurry, because they didn’t think it was going to
-live. And nobody thought the name mattered, so the clergyman just gave
-it the first name that came into his head, and the baby didn’t die after
-all, and when Dorothy found she’d got to go through life with a daughter
-called Harriet, she very nearly died all over again. So, you see, one
-has to think of things. So I had thought of a whole lot of names, and
-last night I said to Edward, ‘What shall we call it?’ and he looked
-awfully pleased and said, ‘What do you think?’ And I said, ‘What would
-you like best?’ And he said, ‘I’d like it to be called after you, Mary,
-darling. I got Jack Webster’s answer to-day, and he says I may call it
-anything I like.’ Well, of _course_, I didn’t see what it had to do with
-Jack Webster, but I thought Edward must have asked him to be godfather.
-I was rather put out. I didn’t think it quite _nice_, beforehand, you
-know.”
-
-The bright colour of indignation had come into Mary’s cheeks, and she
-spoke with great energy.
-
-“Of _course_, I just thought that, and then Edward said, ‘So it shall be
-called after you—Arachne Mariana.’ I thought what _hideous_ names, but
-all I said was, ‘Oh, darling, but I want a boy’; and do you know, Liz,
-Edward had been talking about a spider all the time—the spider that Jack
-Webster sent him. I don’t believe he cares nearly as much for the baby,
-I really don’t, and I wish I was _dead_.”
-
-Mary sobbed afresh, and it took Elizabeth a good deal of her time to
-pacify her.
-
-Mrs. Havergill brought in tea, it being Sarah’s afternoon out. When she
-was taking away the tea-things, after Mary had gone, she observed:
-
-“Mrs. Mottisfont, she do look pale, ma’am.”
-
-“Mrs. Mottisfont is going to have a baby,” said Elizabeth, smiling.
-
-Mrs. Havergill appeared to dismiss Mary’s baby with a slight wave of the
-hand.
-
-“I ’ad a cousin as ’ad twenty-three,” she observed in tones of lofty
-detachment.
-
-“Not all at once?” said Elizabeth faintly.
-
-Mrs. Havergill took no notice of this remark.
-
-“Yes, twenty-three, pore soul. And when she wasn’t ’aving of them, she
-was burying of them. Ten she buried, and thirteen she reared, and many’s
-the time I’ve ’eard ’er say, she didn’t know which was the most
-trouble.”
-
-She went out with the tray, and later, when Sarah had returned, she
-repeated Mrs. Blake’s information in tones of sarcasm.
-
-“‘There’s to be a baby at the Mottisfonts’,’ she says, as if I didn’t
-know that. And I says, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ and that’s all as passed.”
-
-Mrs. Havergill had a way of forgetting her own not inconsiderable
-contributions to a conversation.
-
-“‘Yes, ma’am,’ I says, expecting every moment as she’d up and say, ’and
-one ’ere, too, Mrs. Havergill,’ but no, not a blessed word, and me sure
-of it for weeks. But there—they’re all the same with the first, every
-one’s to be blind and deaf. All the same, Sarah, my girl, if she don’t
-want it talked about, she don’t, so just you mind and don’t talk, not if
-she don’t say nothing till the christening’s ordered.”
-
-When Elizabeth knew that she was going to have a child, her first
-thought was, “Now, I must tell David,” and her next, “How can I tell
-him, how can I possibly tell him?” She lay on her bed in the darkness
-and faced the situation. If she told David, and he did not believe
-her—that was possible, but not probable. If she told him, and he
-believed her as to the facts—but believed also that this strange
-development was due in some way to some influence of hers—conscious or
-unconscious hypnotism—the thought broke off half-way. If he believed
-this—and it was likely that he would believe it—Elizabeth covered her
-eyes with her hand. Even the darkness was no shield. How should she meet
-David’s eyes in the light, if he were to believe this? What would he
-think of her? What must he think of her? She began to weep slow tears of
-shame and agony. What was she to do? To wait until some accident branded
-her in David’s eyes, or to go to him with a most unbelievable tale? She
-tried to find words that she could say, and she could find none. Her
-flesh shrank, and she knew that she could not do it. There were no
-words. The tears ran slowly, very slowly, between her fingers. Elizabeth
-was cold. The room was full of the empty dark. All the world was dark
-and empty too. She lay quite still for a very long time. Then there came
-upon her a curious gradual sense of companionship. It grew continually.
-At the last, she took her hands from before her face and opened her
-eyes. And there was a light in the room. It shed no glow on anything—it
-was just a light by itself. A steady, golden light. It was not
-moonlight, for there was no moon. Elizabeth lay and looked at it. It was
-very radiant and very soft. She ceased to weep and she ceased to be
-troubled. She knew with a certainty that never faltered again, that she
-and David were one. Whether he would become conscious of their oneness
-during the space of this short mortal dream, she did not know, but it
-had ceased to matter. The thing that had tormented her was her own
-doubt. Now that was stilled for ever—Love walked again among the
-realities, pure and unashamed. The things of Time—the mistakes, the
-illusions, the shadows of Time—moved in a little misty dream, that could
-not touch her. Elizabeth turned on her side. She was warm and she was
-comforted.
-
-She slept.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIII
- ELIZABETH WAITS
-
-
- And they that have seen and heard,
- Have wrested a gift from Fate
- That no man taketh away.
- For they hold in their hands the key,
- To all that is this-side Death,
- And they count it as dust by the way,
- As small dust, driven before the breath
- Of Winds that blow to the day.
-
-“Do you remember my telling you about my dream?” said David, next day.
-He spoke quite suddenly, looking up from a letter that he was writing.
-
-“Yes, I remember,” said Elizabeth. She even smiled a little.
-
-“Well, it was so odd—I really don’t know what made me think of it just
-now, but it happened to come into my head—do you know that I dreamt it
-every night for about a fortnight? That was in May. I have never done
-such a thing before. Then it stopped again quite suddenly, and I haven’t
-dreamt it since. I wonder whether speaking of it to you—” he broke off.
-
-“I wonder,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“You see it came again and again. And the strange part was that I used
-to wake in the morning feeling as if there was a lot more of it. A lot
-more than there used to be. Things I couldn’t remember—I don’t know why
-I tell you this.”
-
-“It interests me,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“You know how one forgets a dream, and then, quite suddenly, you just
-don’t remember it. It’s the queerest thing—something gets the
-impression, but the brain doesn’t record it. It’s most amazingly
-provoking. Just now, while I was writing to Fossett, bits of something
-came over me like a flash. And now it’s gone again. Do you ever dream?”
-
-“Sometimes,” said Elizabeth.
-
-This was her time to tell him. But Elizabeth did not tell him. It seemed
-to her that she had been told, quite definitely, to wait, and she was
-dimly aware of the reason. The time was not yet.
-
-David finished his letter. Then he said:
-
-“Don’t you want to go away this summer?”
-
-“No,” said Elizabeth, a little surprised. “I don’t think I do. Why?”
-
-“Most people seem to go away. Mary would like you to go with her,
-wouldn’t she?”
-
-“Yes, but I’ve told her I don’t want to go. She won’t be alone, you
-know, now that Edward finds that he can get away.”
-
-David laughed.
-
-“Poor old Edward,” he said. “A month ago the business couldn’t get on
-without him. He was conscience-ridden, and snatched exiguous half-hours
-for Mary and his beetles. And now it appears, that after all, the
-business can get on without him. I don’t know quite how Macpherson
-brought that fact home to Edward. He must have put it very straight, and
-I’m afraid that Edward’s feelings were a good deal hurt. Personally, I
-should say that the less Edward interferes with Macpherson the more
-radiantly will bank-managers smile upon Edward. Edward is a well-meaning
-person. Mr. Mottisfont would have called him damn well-meaning. And you
-cannot damn any man deeper than that in business. No, Edward can afford
-to take a holiday better than most people. He will probably start a
-marine collection and be perfectly happy. Why don’t you join them for a
-bit?”
-
-“I don’t think I want to,” said Elizabeth. “I’m going up to London for
-Agneta’s wedding next week. I don’t want to go anywhere else. Do you
-want to get rid of me?”
-
-To her surprise, David coloured.
-
-“I?” he said. For a moment an odd expression passed across his face.
-Then he laughed.
-
-“I might have wanted to flirt with Miss Dobell.”
-
- * * * * * * * *
-
-Agneta Mainwaring was married at the end of July.
-
-“It’s going to be the most awful show,” she wrote to Elizabeth. “Douglas
-and I spend all our time trying to persuade each other that it isn’t
-going to be awful, but we know it is. All our relations and all our
-friends, and all their children and all their best clothes, and an
-amount of fuss, worry, and botheration calculated to drive any one
-crazy. If I hadn’t an enormous amount of self-control I should bolt,
-either with or without Douglas. Probably without him. Then he’d have a
-really thrilling time tracking me down. It’s an awful temptation, and if
-you don’t want me to give way to it, you’d better come up at least three
-days beforehand, and clamp on to me. Do come, Lizabeth. I really want
-you.”
-
-Elizabeth went up to London the day before the wedding, and Agneta
-detached herself sufficiently from her own dream to say:
-
-“You’re not Issachar any longer. What has happened?”
-
-“I don’t quite know,” said Elizabeth. “I don’t think the burden’s gone,
-but I think that some one else is carrying it for me. I don’t seem to
-feel it any more.”
-
-Agneta smiled a queer little smile of understanding. Then she laughed.
-
-“Good Heavens, Lizabeth, if any one heard us talking, how perfectly mad
-they would think us.”
-
-Elizabeth found August a very peaceful month. A large number of her
-friends and acquaintances were away. There were no calls to be paid and
-no notes to be written. She and David were more together than they had
-been since the time in Switzerland, and she was happy with a strange
-brooding happiness, which was not yet complete, but which awaited
-completion. She thought a great deal about the child—the child of the
-Dream. She came to think of it as an indication that behind the Dream
-was the Real.
-
-Mary came back on the 15th of September. She was looking very well, and
-was once more in a state of extreme contentment with Edward and things
-in general. When she had poured forth a complete catalogue of all that
-they had done, she paused for breath, and looked suddenly and sharply at
-Elizabeth.
-
-“Liz,” she said. “Why, Liz.”
-
-To Elizabeth’s annoyance, she felt herself colouring.
-
-“Liz, and you never told me. Tell me at once. Is it true? Why didn’t you
-tell me before?”
-
-“Oh, Molly, what an Inquisitor you would have made!”
-
-“Then it _is_ true. And I suppose you told Agneta weeks ago?”
-
-“I haven’t told any one,” said Elizabeth.
-
-“Not Agneta? And I suppose if I hadn’t guessed you wouldn’t have told me
-for ages and ages and ages. Why didn’t you tell me, Liz?”
-
-“Why, I thought I’d wait till you came back, Molly.”
-
-Mary caught her sister’s hand.
-
-“Liz, aren’t you glad? Aren’t you pleased? Doesn’t it make you happy?
-Oh, Liz, if I thought you were one of those _dreadful_ women who don’t
-want to have a baby, I—I don’t know what I should do. I wanted to tell
-everybody. But then I was _pleased_. I don’t believe you’re a bit
-pleased. Are you?”
-
-“I don’t know that pleased is exactly the word,” said Elizabeth. She
-looked at Mary and laughed a little.
-
-“Oh, Molly, do stop being Mrs. Grundy.”
-
-Mary lifted her chin.
-
-“Just because I was interested,” she said. “I suppose you’d rather I
-didn’t care.”
-
-Then she relaxed a little.
-
-“Liz, I’m frightfully excited. Do be pleased and excited too. Why are
-you so stiff and odd? Isn’t David pleased?”
-
-She had looked away, but she turned quickly at the last words, and fixed
-her eyes on Elizabeth’s face. And for a moment Elizabeth had been off
-her guard.
-
-Mary exclaimed.
-
-“Isn’t he pleased? Doesn’t he know? Liz, you don’t mean to tell me——”
-
-“I don’t think you give me much time to tell you anything, Molly,” said
-Elizabeth.
-
-“He doesn’t know? Liz, what’s happened to you? Why are you so
-extraordinary? It’s the sort of thing you read about in an early
-Victorian novel. Do you mean to say that you _really_ haven’t told
-David? That he doesn’t know?”
-
-Elizabeth’s colour rose.
-
-“Molly, my dear, do you think it is your business?” she said.
-
-“Yes, I do,” said Mary. “I suppose you won’t pretend you’re not my own
-sister. And I think you must be quite mad, Liz. I do, indeed. You ought
-to tell David at once—at once. I can’t _imagine_ what Edward would have
-said if he had not known at once. You ought to go straight home and tell
-him now. Married people ought to be one. They ought never to have
-secrets.”
-
-Mary poured the whole thing out to Edward the same evening.
-
-“I really don’t know what has happened to Elizabeth,” she said. “She is
-quite changed. I can’t understand her at all. I think it is quite wicked
-of her. If she doesn’t tell David soon, some one else ought to tell
-him.”
-
-Edward moved uneasily in his chair.
-
-“People don’t like being interfered with,” he said.
-
-“Well, I’m sure nobody could call me an interfering person,” said Mary.
-“It isn’t interfering to be fond of people. If I weren’t fond of Liz, I
-shouldn’t care how strangely she behaved. I do think it’s very strange
-of her—and I don’t care what you say, Edward. I think David ought to be
-told. How would you have liked it if I’d hidden things from you?”
-
-Edward rumpled up his hair.
-
-“People _don’t_ like being interfered with,” he said again.
-
-At this Mary burst into tears, and continued to weep until Edward had
-called himself a brute sufficiently often to justify her contradicting
-him.
-
-Elizabeth continued to wait. She was not quite as untroubled as she had
-been. The scene with Mary had brought the whole world of other people’s
-thoughts and judgments much nearer. It was a troubling world. One full
-of shadows and perplexities. It pressed upon her a little and vexed her
-peace.
-
-The days slid by. They had been pleasant days for David, too. For some
-time past he had been aware of a change in himself—a ferment. His old
-passion for Mary was dust. He looked back upon it now, and saw it as a
-delirium of the senses, a thing of change and fever. It was gone. He
-rejoiced in his freedom and began to look forward to the time when he
-and Elizabeth would enter upon a married life founded upon friendship,
-companionship, and good fellowship. He had no desire to fall in love
-with Elizabeth, to go back to the old storms of passion and unrest. He
-cared a good deal for Elizabeth. When she was his wife he would care for
-her more deeply, but still on the same lines. He hoped that they would
-have children. He was very fond of children. And then, after he had
-planned it all out in his own mind, he became aware of the change, the
-ferment. What he felt did not come into the plan at all. He disliked it
-and he distrusted it, but none the less the change went on, the ferment
-grew. It was as if he had planned to walk on a clear, wide upland, under
-a still, untroubled air. In his own mind he had a vision of such a
-place. It was a place where a man might walk and be master of himself,
-and then suddenly—the driving of a mighty wind, and he could not tell
-from whence it came, or whither it went. The wind bloweth where it
-listeth. In those September days the wind blew very strongly, and as it
-blew, David came slowly to the knowledge that he loved Elizabeth. It was
-a love that seemed to rise in him from some great depth. He could not
-have told when it began. As the days passed, he wondered sometimes
-whether it had not been there always, deep amongst the deepest springs
-of thought and will. There was no fever in it. It was a thing so strong
-and sane and wholesome that, after the first wonder, it seemed to him to
-be a part of himself, a part which, missing, he had lost balance and
-mental poise.
-
-He spoke to Elizabeth as usual, but he looked at her with new eyes. And
-he, too, waited.
-
-He came home one day to find the household in a commotion. It appeared
-that Sarah had scalded her hand, Elizabeth was out, and Mrs. Havergill
-was divided between the rival merits of flour, oil, and a patent
-preparation which she had found very useful when suffering from
-chilblains. She safeguarded her infallibility by remarking, that there
-was some as held with one thing and some as held with another. She also
-observed, that “scalds were ’orrid things.”
-
-“Now, there was an ’ousemaid I knew, Milly Clarke her name was, she
-scalded her hand very much the same as you ’ave, Sarah, and first thing,
-it swelled up as big as my two legs and arter that it turned to
-blood-poisoning, and the doctors couldn’t do nothing for her, pore
-girl.”
-
-At this point Sarah broke into noisy weeping and David arrived. When he
-had bound up the hand, consoled the trembling Sarah, and suggested that
-she should have a cup of tea, he inquired where Elizabeth was. She might
-be at Mrs. Mottisfont’s, suggested Mrs. Havergill, as she followed him
-into the hall.
-
-“You’re not thinking of sending Sarah to the ’orspital, are you sir?”
-
-“No, of course not, she’ll be all right in a day or two. I’ll just walk
-up the hill and meet Mrs. Blake.”
-
-“I’m sure it’s a mercy she were out,” said Mrs. Havergill.
-
-“Why?” said David, turning at the door. Mrs. Havergill assumed an air of
-matronly importance.
-
-“It might ha’ given her a turn,” she said, “for the pore girl did scream
-something dreadful. I’m sure it give me a turn, but that’s neither here
-nor there. What I was thinking of was Mrs. Blake’s condition, sir.”
-
-Mrs. Havergill was obviously a little nettled at David’s expression.
-
-“Nonsense,” said David quickly.
-
-Mrs. Havergill went back to Sarah.
-
-“‘Nonsense,’ he says, and him a doctor. Why, there was me own pore
-mother as died with her ninth, and all along of a turn she got through
-seeing a child run over. And he says, ‘Nonsense.’”
-
-David walked up the hill in a state of mind between impatience and
-amusement. How women’s minds did run on babies. He supposed it was
-natural, but there were times when one could dispense with it.
-
-He found Mary at home and alone. “Elizabeth? Oh, no, she hasn’t been
-near me for days,” said Mary. “As it happened, I particularly _wanted_
-to see her. But she hasn’t been near me.”
-
-She considered that Elizabeth was neglecting her. Only that morning she
-had told Edward so.
-
-“She doesn’t come to see me _on purpose_,” she had said. “But I know
-quite well why. I don’t at all approve of the way she’s going on, and
-she knows it. I don’t think it’s _right_. I think some one ought to tell
-David. No, Edward, I really do. I don’t understand Elizabeth at all, and
-she’s simply afraid to come and see me because she knows that I shall
-speak my mind.”
-
-Now, as she sat and talked to David, the idea that it might be her duty
-to enlighten him presented itself to her mind afresh. A sudden and
-brilliant idea came into her head, and she immediately proceeded to act
-upon it.
-
-“I had a special reason for wanting to see her,” she said. “I had a
-lovely box of things down from town on approval, and I wanted her to see
-them.”
-
-“Things?” said David.
-
-“Oh, clothes,” said Mary, with a wave of the hand. “You know they’ll
-send you anything now. By the way, I bought a present for Liz, though
-she doesn’t _deserve_ it. Will you take it down to her? I’ll get it if
-you don’t mind waiting a minute.”
-
-She was away for five minutes, and then returned with a small
-brown-paper parcel in her hand.
-
-“You can open it when you get home,” she said. “Open it and show it to
-Liz, and see whether you like it. Tell her I sent it with my _love_.”
-
-“Now there won’t be any more nonsense,” she told Edward.
-
-Edward looked rather unhappy, but, warned by previous experience, said
-nothing.
-
-David found Elizabeth in the dining-room. She was putting a large bunch
-of scarlet gladioli into a brown jug upon the mantelpiece.
-
-“I’ve got a present for you,” said David.
-
-“David, how nice of you. It’s not my birthday.”
-
-“I’m afraid it’s not from me at all. I looked in to see if you were with
-Mary, and she sent you this, with her love. By the way, you’d better go
-and see her, I think she’s rather huffed.”
-
-As he spoke he was undoing the parcel. Elizabeth had her back towards
-him. The flowers would not stand up just as she wished them to.
-
-“I can’t think why Molly should send me a present,” she said, and then
-all at once something made her turn round.
-
-The brown-paper wrapping lay on the table. David had taken something
-white out of the parcel. He held it up and they both looked at it. It
-was a baby’s robe, very fine, and delicately embroidered.
-
-Elizabeth made a wavering step forward. The light danced on the white
-robe, and not only on the robe. All the room was full of small dancing
-lights. Elizabeth put her hand behind her and felt for the edge of the
-mantelpiece. She could not find it. Everything was shaking. She swung
-half round, and all the dancing lights flashed in her eyes as she fell
-forwards.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIV
- THE LOST NAME
-
-
- You are as old as Egypt, and as young as yesterday,
- Oh, turn again and look again, for when you look I know
- The dusk of death is but a dream, that dreaming, dies away
- And leaves you with the lips I loved, three thousand years ago.
-
- The mists of that forgotten dream, they fill your brooding eyes,
- With veil on strange revealing veil that wavers, and is gone,
- And still between the veiling mists, the dim, dead centuries rise,
- And still behind the farthest veil, your burning soul burns on.
-
- You are as old as Egypt, and as young as very Youth,
- Before your still, immortal eyes the ages come and go,
- The dusk of death is but a dream that dims the face of Truth—
- Oh, turn again, and look again, for when you look, I know.
-
-When Elizabeth came to herself, the room was full of mist. Through the
-mist, she saw David’s face, and quite suddenly in these few minutes it
-had grown years older.
-
-He spoke. He seemed a long way off.
-
-“Drink this.”
-
-“What is it?” said Elizabeth faintly.
-
-“Water.”
-
-Elizabeth raised herself a little and drank. The faintness passed. She
-became aware that the collar of her dress was unfastened, and she sat up
-and began to fasten it.
-
-David got up, too.
-
-“I am all right.”
-
-There was no mist before Elizabeth’s eyes now. They saw clearly, quite,
-quite clearly. She looked at David, and David’s face was grey—old and
-grey. So it had come. Now in this hour of physical weakness. The thing
-she dreaded.
-
-To her own surprise, she felt no dread now. Only a great weariness. What
-could she say? What was she to say? All seemed useless—not worth while.
-But then there was David’s face, his grey, old face. She must do her
-best—not for her own sake, but for David’s.
-
-She wondered a little that it should hurt him so much. It was not as
-though he loved her, or had ever loved her. Only of course this was a
-thing to cut a man, down to the very quick of his pride and his
-self-respect. It was that—of course it was that.
-
-Whilst she was thinking, David spoke. He was standing by the table
-fingering the piece of string that lay there.
-
-“Elizabeth, do you know why you fainted?” he said.
-
-“Yes,” said Elizabeth, and said no more.
-
-A sort of shudder passed over David Blake.
-
-“Then it’s true,” he said in a voice that was hardly a voice at all.
-There was a sound, and there were words. But it was not like a man
-speaking. It was like a long, quick breath of pain.
-
-“Yes,” said Elizabeth. “It is true, David.”
-
-There was a very great pity in her eyes.
-
-“Oh, my God!” said David, and he sat down by the table and put his head
-in his hands. “Oh, my God!” he said again.
-
-Elizabeth got up. She was trembling just a little, but she felt no
-faintness now. She put one hand on the mantelpiece, and so stood,
-waiting.
-
-There was a very long silence, one of those profound silences which seem
-to break in upon a room and fill it. They overlie and blot out all the
-little sounds of every-day life and usage. Outside, people came and
-went, the traffic in the High Street came and went, but neither to
-David, nor to Elizabeth, did there come the smallest sound. They were
-enclosed in a silence that seemed to stretch unbroken, from one Eternity
-to another. It became an unbearable torment. To his dying day, when any
-one spoke of hell, David glimpsed a place of eternal silence, where
-anguish burned for ever with a still unwavering flame.
-
-He moved at last, slowly, like a man who has been in a trance. His head
-lifted. He got up, resting his weight upon his hands. Then he
-straightened himself. All his movements were like those of a man who is
-lifting an intolerably heavy load.
-
-“Why did you marry me?” he asked in a tired voice, and then his tone
-hardened. “Who is the man? Who is he? Will he marry you if I divorce
-you?”
-
-An unbearable pang of pity went through Elizabeth, and she turned her
-head sharply. David stopped looking at her.
-
-She to be ashamed—oh, God!—Elizabeth ashamed—he could not look at her.
-He walked quickly to the window. Then turned back again because
-Elizabeth was speaking.
-
-“David,” she said, in a low voice, “David, what sort of woman am I?”
-
-A groan burst from David.
-
-“You are a good woman. That’s just the damnable part of it. There are
-some women, when they do a thing like this, one only says they’ve done
-after their kind—they’re gone where they belong. When a good woman does
-it, it’s Hell—just Hell. And you’re a good woman.”
-
-Elizabeth was looking down. She could not bear his face.
-
-“And would you say I was a truthful woman?” she said. “If I were to tell
-you the truth, would you believe me, David?”
-
-“Yes,” said David at once. “Yes, I’d believe you. If you told me
-anything at all you’d tell me the truth. Why shouldn’t I believe you?”
-
-“Because the truth is very unbelievable,” said Elizabeth.
-
-David lifted his head and looked at her.
-
-“Oh, you’ll not lie,” he said.
-
-“Thank you,” said Elizabeth. After a moment’s pause, she went on.
-
-“Will you sit down, David? I don’t think I can speak if you walk up and
-down like that. It’s not very easy to speak.”
-
-He sat down in a big chair, that stood with its back to the window.
-
-“David,” she said, “when we were in Switzerland, you asked me how I had
-put you to sleep. You asked me if I had hypnotised you. I said, No. I
-want to know if you believed me?”
-
-“I don’t know what I believed,” said David wearily. The question
-appeared to him to be entirely irrelevant and unimportant.
-
-“When you hypnotise a person, you are producing an illusion,” said
-Elizabeth. “The effect of what I did was to destroy one. But whatever I
-did, when you asked me to stop doing it, I stopped. You do believe
-that?”
-
-“Yes—I believe that.”
-
-“I stopped at once—definitely. You must please believe that. Presently
-you will see why I say this.”
-
-All the time she had been standing quietly by the mantelpiece. Now she
-came across and kneeled down beside David’s chair. She laid her hands
-one above the other upon the broad arm, and she looked, not at David at
-all, but at her own hands. It was the penitent’s attitude, but David
-Blake, looking at her, found nothing of the penitent’s expression. The
-light shone full upon her face. There was a look upon it that startled
-him. Her face was white and still. The look that riveted David’s
-attention was a look of remoteness—passionless remoteness—and over all a
-sort of patience.
-
-Elizabeth looked down at her strong folded hands, and began to speak in
-a quiet, gentle voice. The sapphire in her ring caught the light.
-
-“David, just now you asked me why I married you. You never asked me that
-before. I am going to tell you now. I married you because I loved you
-very much. I thought I could help, and I loved you. That is why I
-married you. You won’t speak, please, till I have done. It isn’t easy.”
-
-She drew a long, steady breath and went on.
-
-“I knew you didn’t love me, you loved Mary. It wasn’t good for you. I
-knew that you would never love me. I was—content—with friendship. You
-gave me friendship. Then we came home. And you stopped loving Mary. I
-was very thankful—for you—not for myself.”
-
-She stopped for a moment. David was looking at her. Her words fell on
-his heart, word after word, like scalding tears. So she had loved him—it
-only needed that. Why did she tell him now when it was all too
-late—hideously too late?
-
-Elizabeth went on.
-
-“Do you remember, when we had been home a week, you dreamed your dream?
-Your old dream—you told me of it, one evening—but I knew already——”
-
-“Knew?”
-
-“No, don’t speak. I can’t go on if you speak. I knew because when you
-dreamed your dream you came to me.”
-
-She bent lower over her hands. Her breathing quickened. She scarcely
-heard David’s startled exclamation. She must say it—and it was so hard.
-Her heart beat so—it was so hard to steady her voice.
-
-“You came into my room. It was late. The window was open, and the wind
-was blowing in. The moon was going down. I was standing by the window in
-my night-dress—and you spoke. You said, ‘Turn round, and let me see your
-face.’ Then I turned round and you came to me and touched me. You
-touched me and you spoke, and then you went away. And the next night you
-came again. You were in your dream, and in your dream you loved me. We
-talked. I said, ‘Who am I?’ and you said, ‘You are the Woman of my
-Dream,’ and you kissed me, and then you went away. But the third
-night—the third night—I woke up—in the dark—and you were there.”
-
-After that first start, David sat rigid and watched her face. He saw her
-lips quiver—the patience of her face break into pain. He knew the effort
-with which she spoke.
-
-“You came every night—for a fortnight. I used to think you would
-wake—but you never did. You went away before the dawn—always. You never
-waked—you never remembered. In your dream you loved me—you loved me very
-much. In the daytime you didn’t love me at all. I got to feel I couldn’t
-bear it. I went away to Agneta, and there I thought it all out. I knew
-what I had to do. I think I had really known all along. But I was
-shirking. That’s why it hurt so much. If you shirk, you always get
-hurt.”
-
-Elizabeth paused for a moment. She was looking at the blue of her ring.
-It shone. There was a little star in the heart of it.
-
-“It’s very difficult to explain,” she said. “I suppose you would say I
-prayed. Do you remember asking me, if you had slept because I saw you in
-the Divine Consciousness? That’s the nearest I can get to explaining. I
-tried to see the whole thing—us—the Dream—in the Divine Consciousness,
-and you stopped dreaming. I knew you would. You never came any more.
-That’s all.”
-
-Elizabeth stopped speaking. She moved as if to rise, but David’s hand
-fell suddenly upon both of hers, and rested there with a hard, heavy
-pressure.
-
-He said her name, “Elizabeth!” and then again, “Elizabeth!” His voice
-had a bewildered sound.
-
-Elizabeth lifted her eyes and looked at him. His face was working,
-twitching, his eyes strained as if to see something beyond the line of
-vision. He looked past Elizabeth as he had done in his dream. All at
-once he spoke in a whisper.
-
-“I remembered, it’s gone again—but I remembered.”
-
-“The dream?”
-
-“No, not the dream. I don’t know—it’s gone. It was a name—your name—but
-it’s gone again.”
-
-“My name?”
-
-“Yes—it’s gone.”
-
-“It doesn’t matter, David.”
-
-Elizabeth had begun to tremble, and all at once he became aware of it.
-
-“Why do you tremble?”
-
-Elizabeth was at the end of her strength. She had done what she had to
-do. If he would let her go——
-
-“David, let me go,” she said, only just above her breath.
-
-Instead, he put out his other hand and touched her on the breast. It was
-like the Dream. But they were not in the Dream any more. They were
-awake.
-
-David leaned slowly forward, and Elizabeth could not turn away her eyes.
-They looked at each other, and the thing that had happened before came
-upon them again. A momentary flash—memory—revelation—truth. The moment
-passed. This time it left behind it, not darkness, but light. They were
-in the light, because love is of the light.
-
-David put his arms about Elizabeth.
-
-“Mine!” he said.
-
-
- THE END
-
-
-
-
- _A Selection from the Catalogue of_
- G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS
-
-
- [Illustration: logo]
-
- Complete Catalogue sent on application
-
-
-
-
- _By Patricia Wentworth_
-
-
- A Marriage under the Terror
-
- _$1.35 net. ($1.50 by mail)_
-
-“This is the remarkable book that won the first prize ($1250) in the
-Melrose Novel Competition. Not since Dickens’s _Tale of Two Cities_ came
-from the presses has the very atmosphere of the Terror been so
-remarkably conveyed to the printed pages. We commend it less because it
-won a prize than because it is one.”
- _N. Y. World._
-
-
- More Than Kin
-
- _$1.35 net. (By mail, $1.50)_
-
-Shows France in the throes of the Revolution; depicts the relentless
-malice of the leaders of the bloodthirsty hordes that swarmed through
-the streets of Paris; gives us a thrilling account of hair-breadth
-escapes and daring rescues; and withal presents a love story in which
-the tender blends with the heroic.
-
-
- The Devil’s Wind
-
- _$1.35 net. (By mail, $1.50)_
-
-“A novel dealing with the dramatic days of the Indian Mutiny, well
-written, well characterized, and enriched by sundry jewels of
-description. Decidedly one of the season’s best historical romances.”
- _Chicago Record-Herald._
-
-
-
-
- The Fringe of the Desert
-
-
- _By_ R. S. Macnamara
-
- _12^o. $1.35 net. By mail, $1.50_
-
-“_And the Wise Man said: ‘Those who love with passion stand on the
-Fringe of the Desert’; and they who heard laughed and passed on their
-way._”
-
-The atmosphere of Egypt glows and pulsates through the story, giving to
-the author an opportunity of showing that, not only figuratively but
-literally, these two lovers, Ingram and Hesper, stood on the Fringe of
-the Desert. It was her power of calling up vivid pictures of Egypt and
-the Desert that caused critics to compare a former story of Miss
-Macnamara’s with the work of those magicians of the East, Robert Hichens
-and Pierre Loti. This new book promises to emphasize her strength in
-that particular.
-
-
-
-
- The Knave of Diamonds
-
-
- _By_ Ethel M. Dell
-
- _Frontispiece in Color and Decorated Wrapper.
- $1.35 net. By mail, $1.50_
-
- The Great New Story by the Author of
- “The Way of an Eagle”
-
-With masterly skill Miss Dell has depicted the domination of love and
-its effacing strength when called upon to blot out from the memory an
-offense which only love could forgive. The struggle of the hero, a
-savage at heart, to emancipate himself from the sinister tendencies of
-his nature and to rise to the standard which the woman he loves is
-entitled to claim, is told in a story full of romance and adventure.
-
-“One of the most satisfactory love stories we have read in a long while.
-Everybody will like it, from the dyspeptic and elderly reader to the
-young person who swallows ’em whole. The characters are alive and
-interesting.... The author seems to be a natural story-teller. Her book
-will undoubtedly have a great success.”
- _N. Y. Globe._
-
-
-
-
- Little Thank You
-
-
- _By_ Mrs. T. P. O’Connor
- Author of “My Beloved South”
-
- _With Frontispiece. $1.25 net. By mail, $1.35_
-
- _From the author of “THE ROSARY,” Florence L. Barclay:_
-
-“_Little Thank You will remain in the memory as one of the most human
-and lovable of story-book characters._”
-
-“It is a gem: full of fascinating charm, which seems to me unique. There
-have been charming love stories and charming child stories, but in your
-book we have the two combined into a perfect whole. Do accept my warmest
-congratulations and good wishes for its success.”
-
-“Nothing could be more daintily written and presented than this
-fascinating story.... A little gem.”
- _Philadelphia Ledger._
-
-
- G. P. Putnam’s Sons
- New York London
-
-
-
-
- Transcriber’s Notes
-
-
---Copyright notice provided as in the original—this e-text is public
- domain in the country of publication.
-
---In the text versions, delimited italics text in _underscores_ (the
- HTML version reproduces the font form of the printed book.)
-
---Generated cover and spine images based on elements in the book.
-
---Silently corrected palpable typos; left non-standard spellings and
- dialect unchanged.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fire Within, by Patricia Wentworth
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fire Within, by Patricia Wentworth
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Fire Within
-
-Author: Patricia Wentworth
-
-Release Date: August 2, 2020 [EBook #62820]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FIRE WITHIN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by D A Alexander, Stephen Hutcheson, and the
-Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net
-(This file was produced from images generously made
-available by The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-<div class="img">
-<img class="cover" id="coverpage" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="The Fire Within" width="500" height="738" />
-</div>
-<div class="box">
-<h1>The Fire Within</h1>
-<p class="tbcenter"><b>By
-<br /><span class="large">Patricia Wentworth</span></b>
-<br />(Mrs. G. F. Dillon)
-<br /><span class="smaller">Author of &ldquo;A Marriage under the Terror,&rdquo; etc.</span></p>
-<p class="tbcenter">&ldquo;<i>Quench thou the fires of your old gods,</i>
-<br /><i>Quench not the fire within.</i>&rdquo;
-<br /><span class="jr">Matthew Arnold.</span></p>
-<p class="tbcenter"><b><span class="large">G. P. Putnam&rsquo;s Sons</span>
-<br />New York and London
-<br /><i>The Knickerbocker Press</i></b>
-<br />1913</p>
-</div>
-<p class="center smaller"><span class="sc">Copyright, 1913
-<br />by</span>
-<br />G. P. PUTNAM&rsquo;S SONS</p>
-<p class="center smaller"><i><b>The Knickerbocker Press, New York</b></i></p>
-<h2>CONTENTS</h2>
-<dl class="toc">
-<dt class="jr"><span class="jl"><span class="small">CHAPTER</span></span> <span class="small">PAGE</span></dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">I. </span><a href="#c1"><span class="sc">Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s Opinion of his Nephew</span></a> 1</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">II. </span><a href="#c2"><span class="sc">David Blake</span></a> 18</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">III. </span><a href="#c3"><span class="sc">Dead Men&rsquo;s Shoes</span></a> 30</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">IV. </span><a href="#c4"><span class="sc">A Man&rsquo;s Honour</span></a> 40</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">V. </span><a href="#c5"><span class="sc">Town Talk</span></a> 56</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">VI. </span><a href="#c6"><span class="sc">The Letter</span></a> 66</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">VII. </span><a href="#c7"><span class="sc">Elizabeth Chantrey</span></a> 77</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">VIII. </span><a href="#c8"><span class="sc">Edward Sings</span></a> 91</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">IX. </span><a href="#c9"><span class="sc">Mary Is Shocked</span></a> 107</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">X. </span><a href="#c10"><span class="sc">Edward Is Put Out</span></a> 120</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XI. </span><a href="#c11"><span class="sc">Forgotten Ways</span></a> 134</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XII. </span><a href="#c12"><span class="sc">The Grey Wolf</span></a> 143</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XIII. </span><a href="#c13"><span class="sc">March Goes Out</span></a> 156</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XIV. </span><a href="#c14"><span class="sc">The Golden Wind</span></a> 163</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XV. </span><a href="#c15"><span class="sc">Love Must to School</span></a> 171</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XVI. </span><a href="#c16"><span class="sc">Friendship</span></a> 179</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XVII. </span><a href="#c17"><span class="sc">The Dream</span></a> 188</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XVIII. </span><a href="#c18"><span class="sc">The Face of Love</span></a> 199</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XIX. </span><a href="#c19"><span class="sc">The Full Moon</span></a> 207</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XX. </span><a href="#c20"><span class="sc">The Woman of the Dream</span></a> 214</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XXI. </span><a href="#c21"><span class="sc">Elizabeth Blake</span></a> 225</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XXII. </span><a href="#c22"><span class="sc">After the Dream</span></a> 236</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XXIII. </span><a href="#c23"><span class="sc">Elizabeth Waits</span></a> 243</dt>
-<dt><span class="cn">XXIV. </span><a href="#c24"><span class="sc">The Lost Name</span></a> 258</dt>
-</dl>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_1">1</div>
-<h1 title="">The Fire Within</h1>
-<h2 id="c1"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER I</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">MR. MOTTISFONT&rsquo;S OPINION OF HIS NEPHEW</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">As I was going adown the dale</p>
-<p class="t">Sing derry down dale, and derry down dale,</p>
-<p class="t">As I was going adown the dale,</p>
-<p class="t">Adown the dale of a Monday,</p>
-<p class="t0">With never a thought of the Devil his tricks,</p>
-<p class="t0">Why who should I meet with his bundle of sticks,</p>
-<p class="t0">But the very old man of the Nursery tale.</p>
-<p class="t">Sing derry down dale, and derry down dale,</p>
-<p class="t0">The wicked old man of the Nursery tale</p>
-<p class="t">Who gathered his sticks of a Sunday.</p>
-<p class="t">Sing derry down, derry down dale.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked over the
-edge of the sheet at David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;My nephew Edward is most undoubtedly
-and indisputably a prig&mdash;a damned prig,&rdquo; he
-added thoughtfully after a moment&rsquo;s pause for
-reflection. As he reflected his black eyes danced
-from David&rsquo;s face to a crayon drawing which
-hung on the panelled wall above the mantelpiece.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_2">2</div>
-<p>&ldquo;His mother&rsquo;s fault,&rdquo; he observed, &ldquo;it&rsquo;s not
-so bad in a woman, and she was pretty,
-which Edward ain&rsquo;t. Pretty and a prig my
-sister Sarah&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a faint emphasis on the word sister,
-and David remembered having heard his mother
-say that both Edward and William Mottisfont
-had been in love with the girl whom William
-married. &ldquo;And a plain prig my nephew Edward,&rdquo;
-continued the old gentleman. &ldquo;Damn it all, David,
-why can&rsquo;t I leave my money to you instead?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I shouldn&rsquo;t take it, sir,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>He was sitting, most unprofessionally, on the
-edge of his patient&rsquo;s large four-post bed. Old
-Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked at him quizzically.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How much would you take&mdash;eh, David?
-Come now&mdash;say&mdash;how much?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed again. His grey eyes twinkled.
-&ldquo;Nary penny, sir,&rdquo; he said, swinging his arm over
-the great carved post beside him. There were
-cherubs&rsquo; heads upon it, a fact that had always
-amused its owner considerably.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nonsense,&rdquo; said old Mr. Mottisfont, and for
-the first time his thin voice was tinged with
-earnestness. &ldquo;Nonsense, David. Why! I&rsquo;ve left
-you five thousand pounds.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_3">3</div>
-<p>David started. His eyes changed. They were
-very deep-set eyes. It was only when he laughed
-that they appeared grey. When he was serious
-they were so dark as to look black. Apparently
-he was moved and concerned. His voice took a
-boyish tone. &ldquo;Oh, I say, sir&mdash;but you mustn&rsquo;t&mdash;I
-can&rsquo;t take it, you know.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And why not, pray?&rdquo; This was Mr. Mottisfont
-at his most sarcastic.</p>
-<p>David got the better of his momentary
-embarrassment.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I shan&rsquo;t forget that you&rsquo;ve thought of it, sir,&rdquo;
-he said. &ldquo;But I can&rsquo;t benefit under a patient&rsquo;s
-will. I haven&rsquo;t got many principles, but that&rsquo;s
-one of them. My father drummed it into me
-from the time I was about seven.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lifted the thin
-eyebrows that had contrived to remain coal-black,
-although his hair was white. They gave him a
-Mephistophelean appearance of which he was
-rather proud.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Very fine and highfalutin,&rdquo; he observed.
-&ldquo;You&rsquo;re an exceedingly upright young man, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David roared.</p>
-<p>After a moment the old gentleman&rsquo;s lips gave
-way at the corners, and he laughed too.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_4">4</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Lord, David, who&rsquo;d ha&rsquo; thought it of
-you!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You won&rsquo;t take a thousand?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David shook his head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not five hundred?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David grinned.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not five pence,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Mottisfont glared at him for a moment.
-&ldquo;Prig,&rdquo; he observed with great conciseness. Then
-he pursed up his lips, felt under his pillow, and
-pulled out a long folded paper.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;All the more for Edward,&rdquo; he said maliciously.
-&ldquo;All the more for Edward, and all the more reason
-for Edward to wish me dead. I wonder he don&rsquo;t
-poison me. Perhaps he will. Oh, Lord, I&rsquo;d give
-something to see Edward tried for murder!
-Think of it, David&mdash;only think of it&mdash;Twelve
-British Citizens in one box&mdash;Edward in another&mdash;all
-the British Citizens looking at Edward, and
-Edward looking as if he was in church, and wondering
-if the moth was getting into his collections,
-and if any one would care for &rsquo;em when he was
-dead and gone. Eh, David? Eh, David? And
-Mary&mdash;like Niobe, all tears&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David had been chuckling to himself, but at the
-mention of Edward&rsquo;s wife his face changed a
-little. He continued to laugh, but his eyes hardened,
-and he interrupted his patient: &ldquo;Come,
-sir, you mustn&rsquo;t tire yourself.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_5">5</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Like Niobe, all tears,&rdquo; repeated Mr. Mottisfont,
-obstinately. &ldquo;Sweetly pretty she&rsquo;d look too&mdash;eh,
-David? Edward&rsquo;s a lucky dog, ain&rsquo;t he?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David&rsquo;s eyes flashed once and then hardened
-still more. His chin was very square.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Come, sir,&rdquo; he repeated, and looked steadily
-at the old man.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Beast&mdash;ain&rsquo;t I?&rdquo; said old Mr. Mottisfont
-with the utmost cheerfulness. He occupied himself
-with arranging the bedclothes in an accurate
-line across his chest. As he did so, his hand
-touched the long folded paper, and he gave it an
-impatient push.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re a damn nuisance, David,&rdquo; he said.
-&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve made my will once, and now I&rsquo;ve to make it
-all over again just to please you. All the whole
-blessed thing over again, from &lsquo;I, Edward Morell
-Mottisfont,&rsquo; down to &lsquo;I deliver this my act and
-deed.&rsquo; Oh, Lord, what a bore.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mr. Fenwick,&rdquo; suggested David, and old Mr.
-Edward Mottisfont flared into sudden wrath.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_6">6</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t talk to me of lawyers,&rdquo; he said violently.
-&ldquo;I know enough law to make a will they can&rsquo;t
-upset. Don&rsquo;t talk of &rsquo;em. Sharks and robbers.
-Worse than the doctors. Besides young Fenwick
-talks&mdash;tells his wife things&mdash;and she tells her
-sister. And what Mary Bowden knows, the town
-knows. Did I ever tell you how I found out? I
-suspected, but I wanted to be sure. So I sent for
-young Fenwick, and told him I wanted to make
-my will. So far, so good. I made it&mdash;or he did.
-And I left a couple of thousand pounds to Bessie
-Fenwick and a couple more to her sister Mary in
-memory of my old friendship with their father.
-And as soon as Master Fenwick had gone I put
-his morning&rsquo;s work in the fire. Now how do I
-know he talked? This way. A week later I met
-Mary Bowden in the High Street, and I had the
-fright of my life. I declare I thought she&rsquo;d ha&rsquo;
-kissed me. It was &lsquo;I hope you are prudent to be
-out in this east wind, dear Mr. Mottisfont,&rsquo; and
-I must come and see them soon&mdash;and oh, Lord,
-what fools women are! Mary Bowden never
-could abide me till she thought I&rsquo;d left her two
-thousand pounds.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Fenwicks aren&rsquo;t the only lawyers in the
-world,&rdquo; suggested David.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_7">7</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Much obliged, I&rsquo;m sure. I did go to one
-once to make a will&mdash;they say it&rsquo;s sweet to play
-the fool sometimes&mdash;eh, David? Fool I was sure
-enough. I found a little mottled man, that sat
-blinking at me, and repeating my words, till I
-could have murdered him with his own office pen-knife.
-He called me Moral too, in stead of Morell.
-&lsquo;Edward Moral Mottisfont,&rsquo; and I took occasion
-to inform him that I wasn&rsquo;t moral, never had been
-moral, and never intended to be moral. I said
-he must be thinking of my nephew Edward, who
-was damn moral. Oh, Lord, here <i>is</i> Edward.
-I could ha&rsquo; done without him.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The door opened as he was speaking, and young
-Edward Mottisfont came in. He was a slight,
-fair man with a well-shaped head, a straight nose,
-and as much chin as a great many other people.
-He wore <i>pince-nez</i> because he was short-sighted,
-and high collars because he had a long neck.
-Both the <i>pince-nez</i> and the collar had an intensely
-irritating effect upon old Mr. Edward Mottisfont.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If he hadn&rsquo;t been for ever blinking at some
-bug that was just out of his sight, his eyes would
-have been as good as mine, and he might just as
-well keep his head in a butterfly net or a collecting
-box as where he does keep it. Not that I should
-have said that Edward <i>did</i> keep his head.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I think you flurry him, sir,&rdquo; said David,
-&ldquo;and&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_8">8</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I know I do,&rdquo; grinned Mr. Mottisfont.</p>
-<p>Young Edward Mottisfont came into the room
-and shut the door.</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Mottisfont watched him with black,
-malicious eyes.</p>
-<p>For as many years as Edward could remember
-anything, he could remember just that look upon
-his uncle&rsquo;s face. It made him uneasy now, as it
-had made him uneasy when he was only five years
-old.</p>
-<p>Once when he was fifteen he said to David
-Blake: &ldquo;You cheek him, David, and he likes you
-for it. How on earth do you manage it? Doesn&rsquo;t
-he make you feel beastly?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>And David stared and said: &ldquo;Beastly? Rats!
-Why should I feel beastly? He&rsquo;s jolly amusing.
-He makes me laugh.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>At thirty, Edward no longer employed quite
-the same ingenuous slang, but there was no doubt
-that he still experienced the same sensations,
-which fifteen years earlier he had characterised
-as beastly.</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lay in bed with
-his hands folded on his chest. He watched his
-nephew with considerable amusement, and waited
-for him to speak.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_9">9</div>
-<p>Edward took a chair beside the bed. Then he
-said that it was a fine day, and old Mr. Mottisfont
-nodded twice with much solemnity.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, Edward,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>There was a pause.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I hope you are feeling pretty well,&rdquo; was the unfortunate
-Edward&rsquo;s next attempt at conversation.</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont looked across at
-David Blake. &ldquo;Am I feeling pretty well&mdash;eh,
-David?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed. He had moved when Edward
-came into the room, and was standing by the
-window looking out. A little square pane was
-open. Through it came the drowsy murmur of
-a drowsy, old-fashioned town. Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s
-house stood a few yards back from the road, just
-at the head of the High Street. Market Harford
-was a very old town, and the house was a very old
-house. There was a staircase which was admired
-by American visitors, and a front door for which
-they occasionally made bids. From where Mr.
-Mottisfont lay in bed he could see a narrow lane
-hedged in by high old houses with red tiles.
-Beyond, the ground fell sharply away, and there
-was a prospect of many red roofs. Farther still,
-beyond the river, he could see the great black
-chimneys of his foundry, and the smoke that came
-from them. It was the sight that he loved best
-in the world. David looked down into the High
-Street and watched one lamp after another spring
-into brightness. He could see a long ribbon of
-light go down to the river and then rise again.
-He turned back into the room when he was appealed
-to, and said:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_10">10</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Why, you know best how you feel, sir.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no,&rdquo; said old Mr. Mottisfont in a smooth,
-resigned voice. &ldquo;Oh, no, David. In a private
-and unofficial sort of way, yes; but in a public
-and official sense, oh, dear, no. Edward wants to
-know when to order his mourning, and how to
-arrange his holiday so as not to clash with my
-funeral, so it is for my medical adviser to reply,
-ain&rsquo;t it, Edward?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The colour ran to the roots of Edward Mottisfont&rsquo;s
-fair hair. He cast an appealing glance in
-David&rsquo;s direction, and did not speak.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think any of us will order our mourning
-till you&rsquo;re dead, sir,&rdquo; said David with a chuckle.
-He commiserated Edward, but, after all, Edward
-was a lucky dog&mdash;and to see one&rsquo;s successful rival
-at a disadvantage is not an altogether unpleasant
-experience. &ldquo;You&rsquo;ll outlive some of us young
-ones yet,&rdquo; he added, but old Mr. Mottisfont was
-frowning.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_11">11</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Seen any more of young Stevenson, Edward?&rdquo;
-he said, with an abrupt change of manner.</p>
-<p>Edward shook his head rather ruefully.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, sir, I haven&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, and you ain&rsquo;t likely to,&rdquo; said old Mr.
-Mottisfont. &ldquo;There, you&rsquo;d best be gone. I&rsquo;ve
-talked enough.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then good-night, sir,&rdquo; said Edward Mottisfont,
-getting up with some show of cheerfulness.</p>
-<p>The tone of Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s good-night was not
-nearly such a pleasant one, and as soon as the
-door had closed upon Edward he flung round
-towards David Blake with an angry &ldquo;What&rsquo;s
-the good of him? What&rsquo;s the good of the fellow?
-He&rsquo;s not a business man. He&rsquo;s not a man at all;
-he&rsquo;s an entomologiac&mdash;a lepidoptofool&mdash;a damn
-lepidoptofool.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>These remarkable epithets followed one another
-with an extraordinary rapidity.</p>
-<p>When the old gentleman paused for breath
-David inquired, &ldquo;What&rsquo;s the trouble, sir?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_12">12</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, he&rsquo;s muddled the new contract with
-Stevenson. Thinking of butterflies, I expect.
-Pretty things, butterflies&mdash;but there&mdash;I don&rsquo;t see
-that I need distress myself. It ain&rsquo;t me it&rsquo;s
-going to touch. It&rsquo;s Edward&rsquo;s own look-out.
-My income ain&rsquo;t going to concern me for very
-much longer.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He was silent for a moment. Then he made a
-restless movement with his hand.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It won&rsquo;t, will it&mdash;eh, David? You didn&rsquo;t
-mean what you said just now? It was just a
-flam? I ain&rsquo;t going to live, am I?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David hesitated and the old man broke in with
-an extraordinary energy.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, for the Lord&rsquo;s sake, David, I&rsquo;m not a
-girl&mdash;out with it! How long d&rsquo; ye give me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David sat down on the bed again. His movements
-had a surprising gentleness for so large a
-man. His odd, humorous face was quite serious.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Really, sir, I don&rsquo;t know,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I really
-don&rsquo;t. There&rsquo;s no more to be done if you won&rsquo;t
-let me operate. No, we won&rsquo;t go over all that
-again. I know you&rsquo;ve made up your mind. And
-no one can possibly say how long it may be. You
-might have died this week, or you may die in a
-month, or it may go on for a year&mdash;or two&mdash;or
-three. You&rsquo;ve the sort of constitution they
-don&rsquo;t make nowadays.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_13">13</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Three years,&rdquo; said old Mr. Edward Mottisfont&mdash;&ldquo;three
-years, David&mdash;and this damn pain
-all along&mdash;all the time&mdash;gettin&rsquo; worse&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, I think we can relieve the pain, sir,&rdquo; said
-David cheerfully.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Much obliged, David. Some beastly drug
-that&rsquo;ll turn me into an idiot. No, thank ye, I&rsquo;ll
-keep my wits if it&rsquo;s all the same to you. Well,
-well, it&rsquo;s all in the day&rsquo;s work, and I&rsquo;m not complaining,
-but Edward&rsquo;ll get mortal tired of waiting
-for my shoes if I last three years. I doubt his
-patience holding out. He&rsquo;ll be bound to hasten
-matters on. Think of the bad example I shall
-be for the baby&mdash;when it comes. Lord, David,
-what d&rsquo; ye want to look like that for? I suppose
-they&rsquo;ll have babies like other folk, and I&rsquo;ll be a
-bad example for &rsquo;em. Edward&rsquo;ll think of that.
-When he&rsquo;s thought of it enough, and I&rsquo;ve got
-on his nerves a bit more than usual, he&rsquo;ll
-put strychnine or arsenic into my soup. Oh,
-Edward&rsquo;ll poison me yet. You&rsquo;ll see.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Poor old Edward, it&rsquo;s not much in his line,&rdquo;
-said David with half a laugh.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Eh? What about Pellico&rsquo;s dog then?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Pellico&rsquo;s dog, sir?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_14">14</div>
-<p>&ldquo;What an innocent young man you are, David&mdash;never
-heard of Pellico&rsquo;s dog before, did you?
-Pellico&rsquo;s dog that got on Edward&rsquo;s nerves same as
-I get on his nerves, and you never knew that
-Edward dosed the poor brute with some of his
-bug-curing stuff, eh? To be sure you didn&rsquo;t
-think I knew, nor did Edward. I don&rsquo;t tell
-everything I know, and how I know it is my affair
-and none of yours, Master David Blake, but you
-see Edward&rsquo;s not so unhandy with a little job in
-the poisoning line.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David&rsquo;s face darkened. The incident of Pellico&rsquo;s
-dog had occurred when he and Edward were
-schoolboys of fifteen. He remembered it very
-well, but he did not very much care being reminded
-of it. Every day of his life he passed the narrow
-turning, down which, in defiance of parental
-prohibitions, he and Edward used to race each
-other to school. Old Pellico&rsquo;s dirty, evil-smelling
-shop still jutted out of the farther end, and the
-grimy door-step upon which his dog used to lie
-in wait for their ankles was still as grimy as ever.
-Sometimes it was a trouser-leg that suffered.
-Sometimes an ankle was nipped, and if Pellico&rsquo;s
-dog occasionally got a kick in return, it was not
-more than his due. David remembered his own
-surprise when it first dawned upon him that
-Edward minded&mdash;yes, actually minded these encounters.
-He recalled the occasion when Edward,
-his face of a suspicious pallor, had denied angrily
-that he was afraid of any beastly dog, and then
-his sudden wincing confession that he did mind&mdash;that
-he minded horribly&mdash;not because he was
-afraid of being bitten&mdash;Edward explained this
-point very carefully&mdash;but because the dog made
-such a beastly row, and because Edward dreamed
-of him at night, only in his dreams, Pellico&rsquo;s dog
-was rather larger than Pellico himself, and the
-lane was a cul-de-sac with a wall at the end of it,
-against which he crouched in his dream whilst the
-dog came nearer and nearer.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_15">15</div>
-<p>&ldquo;What rot,&rdquo; was David&rsquo;s comment, &ldquo;but if I
-felt like that, I jolly well know I&rsquo;d knock the
-brute on the head.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Would you?&rdquo; said Edward, and that was all
-that had passed. Only, when a week later Pellico&rsquo;s
-dog was poisoned, David was filled with righteous
-indignation. He stormed at Edward.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You did it&mdash;you know you did it. You did it
-with some of that beastly bug-killing stuff that
-you keep knocking about.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward was pale, but there was an odd
-gleam of triumph in the eyes that met
-David&rsquo;s.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_16">16</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, you said you&rsquo;d do for him&mdash;you said it
-yourself. So then I just did it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David stared at him with all a schoolboy&rsquo;s
-crude condemnation of something that was &ldquo;not
-the game.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;d have knocked him on the head under old
-Pellico&rsquo;s nose&mdash;but poison&mdash;poison&rsquo;s <i>beastly</i>.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He did not reason about it. It was just instinct.
-You knocked on the head a brute that annoyed
-you, but you didn&rsquo;t use poison. And Edward
-had used poison. That was the beginning of
-David&rsquo;s great intimacy with Elizabeth Chantrey.
-He did not quarrel with Edward, but they drifted
-out of an inseparable friendship into a relationship
-of the cool, go-as-you-please order. The
-thing rankled a little after all these years. David
-sat there frowning and remembering. Old Mr.
-Mottisfont laughed.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_17">17</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Aha, you see I know most things,&rdquo; he said,
-&ldquo;Edward&rsquo;ll poison me yet. You see, he&rsquo;s in a
-fix. He hankers after this house same as I always
-hankered after it. It&rsquo;s about the only taste we
-have in common. He&rsquo;s got his own house on a
-seven years&rsquo; lease, and here&rsquo;s Nick Anderson
-going to be married, and willing to take it off his
-hands. And what&rsquo;s Edward to do? It&rsquo;s a
-terrible anxiety for him not knowing if I&rsquo;m going
-to die or not. If he doesn&rsquo;t accept Nick&rsquo;s offer
-and I die, he&rsquo;ll have two houses on his hands. If
-he accepts it and I don&rsquo;t die, he&rsquo;ll not have a
-house at all. It&rsquo;s a sad dilemma for Edward.
-That&rsquo;s why he would enjoy seeing about my
-funeral so much. He&rsquo;d do it all very handsomely.
-Edward likes things handsome. And Mary, who
-doesn&rsquo;t care a jot for me, will wear a black dress
-that don&rsquo;t suit her, and feel like a Christian
-martyr. And Elizabeth won&rsquo;t wear black at all,
-though she cares a good many jots, and though
-she&rsquo;d look a deal better in it than Mary&mdash;eh,
-David?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>But David Blake was exclaiming at the lateness
-of the hour, and saying good-night, all in a breath.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_18">18</div>
-<h2 id="c2"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER II</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">DAVID BLAKE</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Grey, grey mist</p>
-<p class="t">Over the old grey town,</p>
-<p class="t0">A mist of years, a mist of tears,</p>
-<p class="t">Where ghosts go up and down;</p>
-<p class="t0">And the ghosts they whisper thus, and thus,</p>
-<p class="t0">Of the days when the world went with us.</p>
-</div>
-<p>A minute or two later Elizabeth Chantrey
-came into the room. She was a very tall
-woman, with a beautiful figure. All her movements
-were strong, sure, and graceful. She carried
-a lighted lamp in her left hand. Mr. Mottisfont
-abominated electric light and refused obstinately
-to have it in the house. When Elizabeth had
-closed the door and set down the lamp, she crossed
-over to the window and fastened a heavy oak
-shutter across it. Then she sat down by the bed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; she said in her pleasant voice.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_19">19</div>
-<p>&ldquo;H&rsquo;m,&rdquo; said old Mr. Mottisfont, &ldquo;well or ill&rsquo;s
-all a matter of opinion, same as religion, or the
-cut of a dress.&rdquo; He shut his mouth with a snap,
-and lay staring at the ceiling. Presently his eyes
-wandered back to Elizabeth. She was sitting
-quite still, with her hands folded. Very few busy
-women ever sit still at all, but Elizabeth Chantrey,
-who was a very busy woman, was also a woman of
-a most reposeful presence. She could be unoccupied
-without appearing idle, just as she could
-be silent without appearing either stupid or
-constrained. Old Edward Mottisfont looked at
-her for about five minutes. Then he said suddenly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What&rsquo;ll you do when I&rsquo;m dead, Elizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth made no protest, as her sister Mary
-would have done. She had not been Edward
-Mottisfont&rsquo;s ward since she was fourteen for
-nothing. She understood him very well, and she
-was perhaps the one creature whom he really
-loved. She leaned her chin in her hand and
-said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know, Mr. Mottisfont.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mr. Mottisfont never took his eyes off her face.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward&rsquo;ll want to move in here as soon as
-possible. What&rsquo;ll you do?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know,&rdquo; repeated Elizabeth, frowning
-a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, if you don&rsquo;t know, perhaps you&rsquo;ll
-listen to reason, and do as I ask you.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_20">20</div>
-<p>&ldquo;If I can,&rdquo; said Elizabeth Chantrey.</p>
-<p>He nodded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Stay here a year,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;a year isn&rsquo;t much
-to ask&mdash;eh?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Here?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;in this house. I&rsquo;ve spoken about it to
-Edward. Odd creature, Edward, but, I believe,
-truthful. Said he was quite agreeable. Even
-went so far as to say he was fond of you, and that
-Mary would be pleased. Said you&rsquo;d too much
-tact to obtrude yourself, and that of course you&rsquo;d
-keep your own rooms. No, I don&rsquo;t suppose
-you&rsquo;ll find it particularly pleasant, but I believe
-you&rsquo;ll find it worth while. Give it a year.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth started ever so slightly. One may
-endure for years, and make no sign, to wince at
-last in one unguarded moment. So he knew&mdash;had
-always known. Again Elizabeth made no protest.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;A year,&rdquo; she said in a low voice, &ldquo;a year&mdash;I&rsquo;ve
-given fifteen years. Isn&rsquo;t fifteen years
-enough?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Something fierce came into old Edward Mottisfont&rsquo;s
-eyes. His whole face hardened. &ldquo;He&rsquo;s
-a damn fool,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Of course he must be,&rdquo; and she laughed again.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_21">21</div>
-<p>The old man nodded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Grit,&rdquo; he said to himself, &ldquo;grit. That&rsquo;s the
-way&mdash;laugh, Elizabeth, laugh&mdash;and let him go
-hang for a damn fool. He ain&rsquo;t worth it&mdash;no man
-living&rsquo;s worth it. But give him a year all the
-same.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>If old Mr. Mottisfont had not been irritated
-with David Blake for being as he put it, a damn
-fool, he would not have made the references he
-had done to his nephew Edward&rsquo;s wife. They
-touched David upon the raw, and old Mr. Mottisfont
-was very well aware of it. As David went
-out of the room and closed the door, a strange
-mood came upon him. All the many memories
-of this house, familiar to him from early boyhood,
-all the many memories of this town of his birth
-and upbringing, rose about him. It was a strange
-mood, but yet not a sad one, though just beyond
-it lay the black shadow which is the curse of the
-Celt. David Blake came of an old Irish stock,
-although he had never seen Ireland. He had the
-vein of poetry&mdash;the vein of sadness, which are
-born at a birth with Irish humour and Irish wit.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_22">22</div>
-<p>As he went down the staircase, the famous
-staircase with its carved newels, the light of a
-moving lamp came up from below, and at the turn
-of the stair he stood aside to let Elizabeth Chantrey
-pass. She wore a grey dress, and the lamp-light
-shone upon her hair and made it look like very
-pale gold. It was thick hair&mdash;very fine and thick,
-and she wore it in a great plait like a crown. In
-the daytime it was not golden at all, but just the
-colour of the pale thick honey with which wax is
-mingled. Long ago a Chantrey had married a
-wife from Norway with Elizabeth&rsquo;s hair and
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s dark grey eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Good-night, David,&rdquo; said Elizabeth Chantrey.
-She would have passed on, but to her surprise
-David made no movement. He was looking at her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;This is where I first saw you, Elizabeth,&rdquo;
-he said in a remembering voice. &ldquo;You had on a
-grey dress, like that one, but Mary was in blue,
-because Mr. Mottisfont wouldn&rsquo;t let her wear
-mourning. Do you remember how shocked poor
-Miss Agatha was?&mdash;&lsquo;and their mother only dead
-a month!&rsquo; I can hear her now.&rdquo; Mary&mdash;yes, he
-remembered little Mary Chantrey in her blue
-dress. He could see her now&mdash;nine years old&mdash;in
-a blue dress&mdash;with dark curling hair and round
-brown eyes, holding tightly to Elizabeth&rsquo;s skirts,
-and much too shy to speak to the big strange boy
-who was Edward&rsquo;s friend.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_23">23</div>
-<p>Elizabeth watched him. She knew very well
-that he was not thinking of her, although he had
-remembered the grey dress. And yet&mdash;for five
-years&mdash;it was she and not Mary to whom David
-came with every mood. During those five years,
-the years between fourteen and nineteen, it was
-always Elizabeth and David, David and Elizabeth.
-Then when David was twenty, and in his first
-year at hospital, Dr. Blake died suddenly, and for
-four years David came no more to Market Harford.
-Mrs. Blake went to live with a sister in the north,
-and David&rsquo;s vacations were spent with his mother.
-For a time he wrote often&mdash;then less often&mdash;finally
-only at Christmas. And the years passed.
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s girlhood passed. Mary grew up.
-And when David Blake had been nearly three
-years qualified, and young Dr. Ellerton was
-drowned out boating, David bought from Mrs.
-Ellerton a share in the practice that had been his
-father&rsquo;s, and brought his mother back to Market
-Harford. Mrs. Blake lived only for a year, but
-before she died she had seen David fall headlong
-in love, not with her dear Elizabeth, but with
-Mary&mdash;pretty little Mary&mdash;who was turning the
-heads of all the young men, sending Jimmy Larkin
-with a temporarily broken heart to India, Jack
-Webster with a much more seriously injured one
-to the West Coast of Africa, and enjoying herself
-mightily the while. Elizabeth had memories as
-well as David. They came at least as near sadness
-as his. She thought she had remembered
-quite enough for one evening, and she set her foot
-on the stair above the landing.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_24">24</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Poor Miss Agatha!&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;What a worry
-we were to her, and how she disliked our coming
-here. I can remember her grumbling to Mr.
-Mottisfont, and saying, &lsquo;Children make such a
-work in the house,&rsquo; and Mr. Mottisfont&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mr. Mottisfont said, &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t be such a damn
-old maid, Agatha. For the Lord&rsquo;s sake, what&rsquo;s
-the good of a woman that can&rsquo;t mind children?&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed too. He remembered Miss
-Agatha&rsquo;s fussy indignation.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Good-night, David,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, and she
-passed on up the wide, shallow stair.</p>
-<p>The light went with her. From below there
-came only a glimmer, for the lamp in the hall was
-still turned low. David went slowly on. As he
-was about to open the front door, Edward Mottisfont
-came out of the dining-room on the left.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_25">25</div>
-<p>&ldquo;One minute, David,&rdquo; he said, and took him
-by the arm. &ldquo;Look here&mdash;I think I ought to
-know. Is my uncle likely to live on indefinitely?
-Did you mean what you said upstairs?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>It was the second time that David Blake had
-been asked if he meant those words. He answered
-a trifle irritably.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why should I say what I don&rsquo;t mean? He may
-live three years or he may die to-morrow. Why
-on earth should I say it if I didn&rsquo;t think it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, I don&rsquo;t know,&rdquo; said Edward. &ldquo;You
-might have been saying it just to cheer the old
-man up.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a certain serious simplicity about
-Edward Mottisfont. It was this quality in him
-which his uncle stigmatised as priggishness. Your
-true prig is always self-conscious, but Edward was
-not at all self-conscious. From his own point of
-view he saw things quite clearly. It was other
-people&rsquo;s points of view which had a confusing
-effect upon him. David laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It didn&rsquo;t exactly cheer him up,&rdquo; he said.
-&ldquo;He isn&rsquo;t as set on living as all that comes to.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward appeared to be rather struck by this
-statement.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Isn&rsquo;t he?&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_26">26</div>
-<p>He opened the door as he spoke, but suddenly
-closed it again. His tone altered. It became
-eager and boyish.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, I <i>say</i>&mdash;you know Jimmy Larkin was
-transferred to Assam some months ago? Well, I
-wrote and asked him to remember me if he came
-across anything like specimens. Of course his
-forest work gives him simply priceless opportunities.
-He wrote back and said he would see
-what he could do, and last mail he sent me&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What&mdash;a package of live scorpions?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No&mdash;not specimens&mdash;oh, if he could only have
-sent the specimen&mdash;but it was the next best thing&mdash;a
-drawing&mdash;you remember how awfully well
-Jimmy drew&mdash;a coloured drawing of a perfectly
-new slug.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward&rsquo;s tone became absolutely ecstatic. He
-began to rumple up his fair hair, as he always did
-when he was excited. &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t find it in any of
-the books,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and they&rsquo;d never even
-heard of it at the Natural History Museum. Five
-yellow bands on a black ground&mdash;what do you
-think of that?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_27">27</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I should say it was Jimmy, larking,&rdquo; murmured
-David, getting the door open and departing
-hastily, but Edward was a great deal too busy
-wondering whether the slug ought in justice to be
-called after Jimmy, or whether he might name it
-after himself, to notice this ribaldry.</p>
-<p>David Blake came out into a clear September
-night. The sky was cloudless and the air was
-still. Presently there would be a moon. David
-walked down the brightly-lighted High Street, with
-its familiar shops. Here and there were a few
-new names, but for the most part he had known
-them all from childhood. Half-way down the hill
-he passed the tall grey house which had once had
-his father&rsquo;s plate upon the door&mdash;the house where
-David was born. Old Mr. Bull lived there now,
-his father&rsquo;s partner once, retired these eighteen
-months in favour of his nephew, Tom Skeffington.
-All Market Harford wondered what Dr. Bull
-could possibly want with a house so much too
-large for him. He used only half the rooms, and
-the house had a sadly neglected air, but there were
-days, and this was one of them, when David,
-passing, could have sworn that the house had not
-changed hands at all and that the blind of his
-mother&rsquo;s room was lifted a little as he went by.
-She used to wave to him from that window as he
-came from school. She wore the diamond ring
-which David kept locked up in his despatch-box.
-Sometimes it caught the light and flashed. David
-could have sworn that he saw it flash to-night.
-But the house was all dark and silent. The old
-days were gone. David walked on.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_28">28</div>
-<p>At the bottom of the High Street, just before
-you come to the bridge, he turned up to the right,
-where a paved path with four stone posts across
-the entrance came into the High Street at right
-angles. The path ran along above the river, with
-a low stone wall to the left, and a row of grey stone
-houses to the right. Between the wall and the
-river there were trees, which made a pleasant
-shade in the summer. Now they were losing
-their leaves. David opened the door of the
-seventh house with his latch-key, and went in.
-That night he dreamed his dream. It was a long
-time now since he had dreamed it, but it was an
-old dream&mdash;one that recurred from time to time&mdash;one
-that had come to him at intervals for as
-long as he could remember. And it was always
-the same&mdash;through all the years it never varied&mdash;it
-was always just the same.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_29">29</div>
-<p>He dreamed that he was standing upon the
-seashore. It was a wide, low shore, with a long,
-long stretch of sand that shone like silver under a
-silver moon. It shone because it was wet, still
-quite wet from the touch of the tide. The tide
-was very low. David stood on the shore, and saw
-the moon go down into the sea. As it went down
-it changed slowly. It became golden, and the
-sand turned golden too. A wind began to blow
-in from the sea. A wind from the west&mdash;a wind
-that was strong, and yet very gentle. At the
-edge of the sea there stood a woman, with long
-floating hair and a long floating dress. She stood
-between David and the golden moon, and the
-wind blew out her dress and her long floating hair.
-But David never saw her face. Always he longed
-to see her face, but he never saw it. He stood
-upon the shore and could not move to go to her.
-When he was a boy he used to walk in his sleep
-in the nights when he had this dream. Once he
-was awakened by the touch of cold stones under
-his bare feet. And there he stood, just as he had
-come from bed, on the wet door-step, with the
-front door open behind him. After that he locked
-his door. Now he walked in his sleep no longer,
-and it was more than a year since he had dreamed
-the dream at all, but to-night it came to him again.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_30">30</div>
-<h2 id="c3"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER III</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">DEAD MEN&rsquo;S SHOES</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">There&rsquo;s many a weary game to be played</p>
-<p class="t">With never a penny to choose,</p>
-<p class="t0">But the weariest game in all the world</p>
-<p class="t">Is waiting for dead men&rsquo;s shoes.</p>
-</div>
-<p>It was about a week later that Edward Mottisfont
-rang David Blake up on the telephone
-and begged him in agitated accents, to come to
-Mr. Mottisfont without delay.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s another attack&mdash;a very bad one,&rdquo; said
-Edward in the hall. His voice shook a little, and
-he seemed very nervous. David thought it was
-certainly a bad attack. He also thought it a
-strange one. The old man was in great pain, and
-very ill. Elizabeth Chantrey was in the room,
-but after a glance at his patient, David sent her
-away. As she went she made a movement to
-take up an empty cup which stood on the small
-table beside the bed, and old Mr. Edward Mottisfont
-fairly snapped at her.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_31">31</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Leave it, will you&mdash;I&rsquo;ve stopped Edward
-taking it twice. Leave it, I say!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth went out without a word, and Mr.
-Mottisfont caught David&rsquo;s wrist in a shaky grip.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;D&rsquo; you know why I wouldn&rsquo;t let her take that
-cup? D&rsquo; you know why?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, sir&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Old Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s voice dropped to a thread.
-He was panting a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I was all right till I drank that damned tea,
-David,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and Edward brought it to me&mdash;Edward&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Come, sir&mdash;come&mdash;&rdquo; said David gently. He
-was really fond of this queer old man, and he was
-distressed for him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, you won&rsquo;t let him give me things&mdash;you&rsquo;ll
-look to it. Look in the cup. I wouldn&rsquo;t
-let &rsquo;em take the cup&mdash;there&rsquo;s dregs. Look at
-&rsquo;em, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_32">32</div>
-<p>David took up the cup and walked to the window.
-About a tablespoonful of cold tea remained.
-David tilted the cup, then became suddenly
-attentive. That small remainder of cold tea with
-the little skim of cream upon it had suddenly
-become of absorbing interest. David tilted the
-cup still more. The tea made a little pool on one
-side of it, and all across the bottom of the cup a
-thick white sediment drained slowly down into
-the pool. It was such a sediment as is left by very
-chalky water. But all the water of Market Harford
-is as soft as rain-water. It is not only chalk
-that makes a sediment like that. Arsenic makes
-one, too. David put down the cup quickly.
-He opened the door and went out into the
-passage. From the far end Elizabeth Chantrey
-came to meet him, and he gave her a hastily
-scribbled note for the chemist, and asked her for
-one or two things that were in the house. When
-he came back into Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s room he went
-straight to the wash-stand, took up a small glass
-bottle labelled ipecacuanha wine and spent two or
-three minutes in washing it thoroughly. Then he
-poured into it very carefully the contents of the
-cup. He did all this in total silence, and in a very
-quiet and business-like manner.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_33">33</div>
-<p>Old Mr. Edward Mottisfont lay on his right
-side and watched him. His face was twisted with
-pain, and there was a dampness upon his brow,
-but his eyes followed every motion that David
-made and noted every look upon his face. They
-were intent&mdash;alive&mdash;observant. Whilst David
-stood by the wash-stand, with his back towards
-the bed, old Mr. Edward Mottisfont&rsquo;s lips twisted
-themselves into an odd smile. A gleam of sardonic
-humour danced for a moment in the watching
-eyes. When David put down the bottle and
-came over to the bed, the gleam was gone, and
-there was only pain&mdash;great pain&mdash;in the old,
-restless face. There was a knock at the door, and
-Elizabeth Chantrey came in.</p>
-<p>Three hours later David Blake came out of the
-room that faced old Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s at the farther
-end of the corridor. It was a long, low room, fitted
-up as a laboratory&mdash;very well and fully fitted up&mdash;for
-the old man had for years found his greatest
-pleasure and relaxation in experimenting with
-chemicals. Some of his experiments he confided
-to David, but the majority he kept carefully to
-himself. They were of a somewhat curious nature.
-David Blake came out of the laboratory with a
-very stern look upon his face. As he went down
-the stair he met with Edward Mottisfont coming
-up. The sternness intensified. Edward looked
-an unspoken question, and then without a word
-turned and went down before David into the hall.
-Then he waited.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Gone?&rdquo; he said in a sort of whisper, and David
-bent his head.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_34">34</div>
-<p>He was remembering that it was only a week
-since he had told Edward in this very spot that his
-uncle might live for three years. Well, he was
-dead now. The old man was dead now&mdash;out of
-the way&mdash;some one had seen to that. Who?
-David could still hear Edward Mottisfont&rsquo;s voice
-asking, &ldquo;How long is he likely to live?&rdquo; and his
-own answer, &ldquo;Perhaps three years.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Come in here,&rdquo; said Edward Mottisfont. He
-opened the dining-room door as he spoke, and
-David followed him into a dark, old-fashioned
-room, separated from the one behind it by folding-doors.
-One of the doors stood open about an
-inch, but there was only one lamp in the room, and
-neither of the two men paid any attention to such
-a trifling circumstance.</p>
-<p>Edward sat down by the table, which was laid
-for dinner. Even above the white tablecloth his
-face was noticeably white. All his life this old
-man had been his bugbear. He had hated him,
-not with the hot hatred which springs from one
-great sudden wrong, but with the cold slow abhorrence
-bred of a thousand trifling oppressions.
-He had looked forward to his death. For years he
-had thought to himself, &ldquo;Well, he can&rsquo;t live for
-ever.&rdquo; But now that the old man was dead, and
-the yoke lifted from his neck, he felt no relief&mdash;no
-sense of freedom. He felt oddly shocked.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_35">35</div>
-<p>David Blake did not sit down. He stood at the
-opposite side of the table and looked at Edward.
-From where he stood he could see first the
-white tablecloth, then Edward&rsquo;s face, and on
-the wall behind Edward, a full-length portrait
-of old Edward Mottisfont at the age of thirty.
-It was the work of a young man whom Market
-Harford had looked upon as a very disreputable
-young man. He had since become so famous that
-they had affixed a tablet to the front of the house
-in which he had once lived. The portrait was one
-of the best he had ever painted, and the eyes,
-Edward Mottisfont&rsquo;s black, malicious eyes, looked
-down from the wall at his nephew, and at David
-Blake. Neither of the men had spoken since they
-entered the room, but they were both so busy with
-their thoughts that neither noticed how silent the
-other was.</p>
-<p>At last David spoke. He said in a hard level
-voice:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward, I can&rsquo;t sign the certificate. There
-will have to be an inquest.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward Mottisfont looked up with a great start.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;An inquest?&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;an inquest?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_36">36</div>
-<p>One of David&rsquo;s hands rested on the table. &ldquo;I
-can&rsquo;t sign the certificate,&rdquo; he repeated.</p>
-<p>Edward stared at him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t understand&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you?&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<p>Edward rumpled up his hair in a distracted
-fashion.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t understand,&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;An inquest?
-Why, you&rsquo;ve been attending him all these
-months, and you said he might die at any time.
-You said it only the other day. I don&rsquo;t understand&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nor do I,&rdquo; said David curtly.</p>
-<p>Edward stared again.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mr. Mottisfont might have lived for some
-time,&rdquo; said David Blake, speaking slowly. &ldquo;I was
-attending him for a chronic illness, which would
-have killed him sooner or later. But it didn&rsquo;t
-kill him. It didn&rsquo;t have a chance. He died of
-poisoning&mdash;arsenic poisoning.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>One of Edward&rsquo;s hands was lying on the table.
-His whole arm twitched, and the hand fell over,
-palm upwards. The fingers opened and closed
-slowly. David found himself staring at that
-slowly moving hand.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_37">37</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Impossible,&rdquo; said Edward, and his breath
-caught in his throat as he said it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m afraid not.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward leaned forward a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But, David,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it&rsquo;s not possible.
-Who&mdash;who do you think&mdash;who would do such a
-thing? Or&mdash;suicide&mdash;do you think he committed
-suicide?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David drew himself suddenly away from the
-table. All at once the feeling had come to him
-that he could no longer touch what Edward
-touched.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, I don&rsquo;t think it was suicide,&rdquo; he said.
-&ldquo;But of course it&rsquo;s not my business to think at
-all. I shall give my evidence, and there, as far
-as I am concerned, the matter ends.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward looked helplessly at David.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Evidence?&rdquo; he repeated.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;At the inquest,&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t understand,&rdquo; said Edward again.
-He put his head in his hands, and seemed to be
-thinking.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Are you sure?&rdquo; he said at last. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t see
-how&mdash;it was an attack&mdash;just like his other attacks&mdash;and
-then he died&mdash;you always said he might
-die in one of those attacks.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_38">38</div>
-<p>There was a sort of trembling eagerness in
-Edward&rsquo;s tone. A feeling of nausea swept over
-David. The scene had become intolerable.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mr. Mottisfont died because he drank a cup
-of tea which contained enough arsenic to kill a
-man in robust health,&rdquo; he said sharply.</p>
-<p>He looked once at Edward, saw him start, and
-added, &ldquo;and I think that you brought him that
-tea.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Edward. &ldquo;He asked me for it,
-how could there be arsenic in it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;There was,&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Arsenic? But I brought him the tea&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, you brought him the tea.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward lifted his head. His eyes behind his
-glasses had a misty and bewildered look. His
-voice shook a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But&mdash;if there&rsquo;s an inquest&mdash;they might say&mdash;they
-might think&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He pushed his chair back a little way, and half
-rose from it, resting his hands on the table, and
-peering across it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, why do you look at me like that?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David Blake turned away.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_39">39</div>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s none of my business,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve
-got to give my evidence, and for God&rsquo;s sake,
-Edward, pull yourself together before the inquest,
-and get decent legal advice, for you&rsquo;ll need it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward was shockingly pale.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You mean&mdash;what do you mean? That people
-will think&mdash;it&rsquo;s impossible.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David went towards the door. His face was
-like a flint.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I mean this,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Mr. Mottisfont died
-of arsenic poisoning. The arsenic was in a cup
-of tea which he drank. You brought him the
-tea. You are undoubtedly in a very serious position.
-There will have to be an inquest.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward had risen completely. He made a
-step towards David.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But if you were to sign the certificate&mdash;there
-wouldn&rsquo;t need to be an inquest&mdash;David&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But I&rsquo;m damned if I&rsquo;ll sign the certificate,&rdquo;
-said David Blake.</p>
-<p>He went out and shut the door sharply behind
-him.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_40">40</div>
-<h2 id="c4"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER IV</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">A MAN&rsquo;S HONOUR</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;Will you give me your heart?&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;Oh, I gave it you long ago,&rdquo; said he.</p>
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;Why, then, I threw it away,&rdquo; said she.</p>
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;And what will you give me instead?</p>
-<p class="t0">Will you give me your honour?&rdquo; she said.</p>
-</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Elizabeth!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a pause.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Elizabeth&mdash;open your door!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth Chantrey came back from a long way
-off. Mary was calling her. Mary was knocking
-at her door. She got up rather wearily, turned
-the key, and with a little gasp, Mary was in the
-room, shutting the door, and standing with her
-back against it. The lamp burned low, but
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes were accustomed to the gloom.
-Mary Mottisfont&rsquo;s bright, clear colour was one of
-her great attractions. It was all gone and her
-dark eyes looked darker and larger than they
-should have done.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_41">41</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Why, Molly, I thought you had gone home.
-Edward told me he was sending you home an
-hour ago.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He told me to go,&rdquo; said Mary in a sort of
-stumbling whisper. &ldquo;He told me to go&mdash;but I
-wanted to wait and go with him. I knew he&rsquo;d
-be upset&mdash;I knew he&rsquo;d feel it&mdash;when it was all
-over. I wanted to be with him&mdash;oh, Liz&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, what is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary put up a shaking hand.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ll tell you&mdash;don&rsquo;t stop me&mdash;there&rsquo;s no time&mdash;I&rsquo;ll
-tell you&mdash;oh, I&rsquo;m telling you as fast as I
-can.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She spoke in a series of gasps.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I went into your little room behind the dining-room.
-I knew no one would come. I knew I
-should hear any one coming or going. I opened
-the door into the dining-room&mdash;just a little&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, what <i>is</i> it?&rdquo; said Elizabeth. She put
-her arm round her sister, but Mary pushed her
-away.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t&mdash;there&rsquo;s no time. Let me go on.
-David came down. He came into the dining-room.
-He talked to Edward. He said, &lsquo;I can&rsquo;t
-sign the certificate,&rsquo; and Edward said, &lsquo;Why not?&rsquo;
-and David said, &lsquo;Because&rsquo;&mdash;Liz&mdash;I can&rsquo;t&mdash;oh,
-Liz, I can&rsquo;t&mdash;I can&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_42">42</div>
-<p>Mary caught suddenly at Elizabeth&rsquo;s arm and
-began to sob. She had no tears&mdash;only hard sobs.
-Her pretty oval face was all white and drawn.
-There were dark marks like bruises under her
-hazel eyes. The little dark rings of hair about
-her forehead were damp.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Dearest&mdash;darling&mdash;my Molly dear,&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth. She held Mary to her, with strong
-supporting arms, but the shuddering sobs went on.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz&mdash;it was poison. He says it was poison.
-He says there was poison in the tea&mdash;arsenic
-poison&mdash;and Edward took him the tea. Liz&mdash;Liz,
-why do such awful things happen? Why does
-God let them happen?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was much taller than her sister&mdash;taller
-and stronger. She released herself from
-the clutching fingers, and let both her hands fall
-suddenly and heavily upon Mary&rsquo;s shoulders.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, what are you talking about?&rdquo; she
-cried.</p>
-<p>Mary was startled into a momentary self-control.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mr. Mottisfont,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;David said it
-was poison&mdash;poison, Liz.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_43">43</div>
-<p>Her voice fell to a low horrified whisper at the
-word, and then rose on the old gasp of, &ldquo;Edward
-took him the tea.&rdquo; A numbness came upon
-Elizabeth. Feeling was paralysed. She was
-conscious neither of horror, anxiety, nor sorrow.
-Only her brain remained clear. All her consciousness
-seemed to have gone to it, and it worked with
-an inconceivable clearness and rapidity.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Hush, Mary,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;What are you
-saying? Edward&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary pushed her away.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Of course not,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Liz, if you dared&mdash;but
-you don&rsquo;t&mdash;no one could really&mdash;Edward of
-all people. But there&rsquo;s all the talk, the scandal&mdash;we
-can&rsquo;t have it. It must be stopped. And we&rsquo;re
-losing time, we&rsquo;re losing time dreadfully. I must
-go to David, and stop him before he writes to
-any one, or sees any one. He must sign the
-certificate.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth stood quite still for a moment. Then
-she went to the wash-stand, poured out a glass of
-water, and came back to Mary.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Drink this, Molly,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Yes, drink
-it all, and pull yourself together. Now listen to
-me. You can&rsquo;t possibly go to David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I must go, I must,&rdquo; said Mary. Her tone
-hardened. &ldquo;Will you come with me, Liz, or
-must I go alone?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth took the empty glass and set it down.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_44">44</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, my dear, you must listen. No&mdash;I&rsquo;m
-thinking of what&rsquo;s best for every one. You
-don&rsquo;t want any talk. If you go to David&rsquo;s house
-at this hour&mdash;well, you can see for yourself. No&mdash;listen,
-my dear. If I ring David up, and ask
-him to come here at once&mdash;at <i>once</i>&mdash;to see me,
-don&rsquo;t you see how much better that will be?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary&rsquo;s colour came and went. She stood
-irresolute.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; she said at last. &ldquo;If he&rsquo;ll come.
-If he won&rsquo;t, then I&rsquo;ll go to him, and I don&rsquo;t care
-what you say, Elizabeth&mdash;and you must be quick&mdash;quick.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>They went downstairs in silence. Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s
-study was in darkness, and Elizabeth
-brought in the lamp from the hall, holding it very
-steadily. Then she sat down at the great littered
-desk and rang up the exchange. She gave the
-number and they waited. After what seemed like
-a very long time, Elizabeth heard David&rsquo;s voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Hullo!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It is I&mdash;Elizabeth,&rdquo; said Elizabeth Chantrey.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Can you come here at once? I want to see
-you at once. Yes, it is very important&mdash;important
-and urgent.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_45">45</div>
-<p>Mary was in an agony of impatience. &ldquo;What
-does he say? Will he come? Will he come at
-once?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>But Elizabeth answered David and not her
-sister.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, presently won&rsquo;t do. It must be at once.
-It&rsquo;s really urgent, David, or I wouldn&rsquo;t ask it.
-Yes, thank you so much. In my room.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She put down the receiver, rang off, and turned
-to Mary.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He is coming. Had you not better send
-Edward a message, or he will be coming back
-here? Ring up, and say that you are staying
-with me for an hour, and that Markham will
-walk home with you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>In Elizabeth&rsquo;s little brown room the silence
-weighed and the time lagged. Mary walked up
-and down, moving perpetually&mdash;restlessly&mdash;uselessly.
-There was a small Dutch mirror above the
-writing-table. Its cut glass border caught the
-light, and reflected it in diamond points and rainbow
-flashes. It was the brightest thing in the
-room. Mary stood for a moment and looked at
-her own face. She began to arrange her hair with
-nervous, trembling fingers. She rubbed her
-cheeks, and straightened the lace at her
-throat. Then she fell to pacing up and down
-again.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_46">46</div>
-<p>&ldquo;The room&rsquo;s so hot,&rdquo; she said suddenly. And
-she went quickly to the window and flung it open.
-The air came in, cold and mournfully damp.
-Mary drew half a dozen long breaths. Then she
-shivered, her teeth chattered. She shut the
-window with a jerk, and as she did so David Blake
-came into the room. It was Elizabeth he saw,
-and it was to Elizabeth that he spoke.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Is anything the matter? Anything fresh?&rdquo;
-Elizabeth moved aside, and all at once he saw
-Mary Mottisfont.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary wants to speak to you,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.
-She made a step towards the door, but Mary
-called her sharply. &ldquo;No, Liz&mdash;stay!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>And Elizabeth drew back into the shadowed
-corner by the window, whilst Mary came forward
-into the light. For a moment there was silence.
-Mary&rsquo;s hands were clasped before her, her chin
-was a little lifted, her eyes were desperately
-intent.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; she said in a low fluttering voice,
-&ldquo;oh, David&mdash;I was in here&mdash;I heard&mdash;I could not
-help hearing.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_47">47</div>
-<p>&ldquo;What did you hear?&rdquo; asked David Blake.
-The words came from him with a sort of startled
-hardness.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I heard everything you said to Edward&mdash;about
-Mr. Mottisfont. You said it was poison.
-I heard you say it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And Edward took him the tea,&rdquo; said Mary
-quickly. &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you see, David&mdash;don&rsquo;t you see
-how dreadful it is for Edward? People who didn&rsquo;t
-know him might say&mdash;they might think such
-dreadful things&mdash;and if there were an inquest&mdash;&rdquo;
-the words came in a sort of strangled whisper.
-&ldquo;There can&rsquo;t be an inquest&mdash;there <i>can&rsquo;t</i>. Oh,
-David, you&rsquo;ll sign the certificate, won&rsquo;t you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David&rsquo;s face had been changing while she spoke.
-The first hard startled look went from it. It was
-succeeded by a flash of something like horror, and
-then by pain&mdash;pain and a great pity.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Mary, dear, I can&rsquo;t,&rdquo; he said very gently.
-He looked at her, and further words died upon his
-lips. Mary came nearer. There was a big chair
-in front of the fireplace, and she rested one hand
-on the back of it. It seemed as if she needed
-something firm to touch, her world was shifting
-so. David had remained standing by the door,
-but Mary was not a yard away from him now.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_48">48</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You see, David,&rdquo; she said, still in that low
-tremulous voice, &ldquo;you see, David, you haven&rsquo;t
-thought&mdash;you can&rsquo;t have thought&mdash;what it will
-mean if you don&rsquo;t. Edward might be suspected
-of a most dreadful thing. I&rsquo;m sure you haven&rsquo;t
-thought of that. He might even&rdquo;&mdash;Mary&rsquo;s eyes
-widened&mdash;&ldquo;he might even be <i>arrested</i>&mdash;and tried&mdash;and
-I couldn&rsquo;t bear it.&rdquo; The hand that rested
-on the chair began to tremble very much. &ldquo;I
-couldn&rsquo;t <i>bear</i> it,&rdquo; said Mary piteously.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, my dear,&rdquo; said David, &ldquo;this is a business
-matter, and you mustn&rsquo;t interfere&mdash;I can&rsquo;t
-possibly sign the certificate. Poor old Mr. Mottisfont
-did not die a natural death, and the matter
-will have to be inquired into. No innocent person
-need have anything to be afraid of.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; said Mary. Her breath came hard.
-&ldquo;You haven&rsquo;t told any one&mdash;not yet? You
-haven&rsquo;t written? Oh, am I too late? Have you
-told people already?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said David, &ldquo;not yet, but I must.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The tears came with a rush to Mary&rsquo;s eyes, and
-began to roll down her cheeks.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_49">49</div>
-<p>&ldquo;No, no, David, no,&rdquo; she said. Her left hand
-went out towards him gropingly. &ldquo;Oh, no, David,
-you mustn&rsquo;t. You haven&rsquo;t thought&mdash;indeed you
-haven&rsquo;t. Innocent people can&rsquo;t always prove
-that they are innocent. They <i>can&rsquo;t</i>. There&rsquo;s a
-book&mdash;a dreadful book. I&rsquo;ve just been reading
-it. There was a man who was quite, quite innocent&mdash;as
-innocent as Edward&mdash;and he couldn&rsquo;t
-prove it. And they were going to hang him&mdash;David!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary&rsquo;s voice broke off with a sort of jerk. Her
-face became suddenly ghastly. There was an
-extremity of terror in every sharpened feature.
-Elizabeth stood quite straight and still by the
-window. She was all in shadow, her brown dress
-lost against the soft brown gloom of the half-drawn
-velvet curtain. She felt like a shadow
-herself as she looked and listened. The numbness
-was upon her still. She was conscious as
-it were of a black cloud that overshadowed them
-all&mdash;herself, Mary, Edward. But not David.
-David stood just beyond, and Mary was trying to
-hold him and to draw him into the blackness.
-Something in Elizabeth&rsquo;s deadened consciousness
-kept saying over and over again: &ldquo;Not David,
-not David.&rdquo; Elizabeth saw the black cloud with
-a strange internal vision. With her bodily eyes
-she watched David&rsquo;s face. She saw it harden
-when Mary looked at him, and quiver with pain
-when she looked away. She saw his hand go out
-and touch Mary&rsquo;s hand, and she heard him say:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_50">50</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, I can&rsquo;t. Don&rsquo;t ask me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary put her other hand suddenly on David&rsquo;s
-wrist. A bright colour flamed into her cheeks.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, you used to be fond of me&mdash;once&mdash;not
-long ago. You said you would do anything for
-me. Anything in the world. You said you loved
-me. And you said that nowadays a man did not
-get the opportunity of showing a woman what he
-would do for her. You wanted to do something
-for me then, and I had nothing to ask you. Aren&rsquo;t
-you fond of me any more, David? Won&rsquo;t you do
-anything for me now?&mdash;now that I ask you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David pulled his hand roughly from her grasp.
-He pushed past her, and crossed the room.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, you don&rsquo;t know what you are asking
-me,&rdquo; he said in a tone of sharp exasperation.
-&ldquo;You don&rsquo;t know what you are talking about.
-You don&rsquo;t seem to realise that you are asking me
-to become an accessory after the fact in a case of
-murder.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary shuddered. The word was like a blow.
-She spoke in a hurried whispering way.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_51">51</div>
-<p>&ldquo;But Edward&mdash;it&rsquo;s for Edward. What will
-happen to Edward? And to me? Don&rsquo;t you
-care? We&rsquo;ve only been married six months.
-It&rsquo;s such a little time. Don&rsquo;t you care at all? I
-never knew such dreadful things could happen&mdash;not
-to one&rsquo;s self. You read things in papers,
-and you never think&mdash;you never, never think that
-a thing like that could happen to yourself. I
-suppose those people don&rsquo;t all die, but I should
-die. Oh, David, aren&rsquo;t you going to help us?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She spoke the last words as a child might have
-spoken them. Her eyes were fixed appealingly
-upon David&rsquo;s face. Mary Mottisfont had very
-beautiful eyes. They were hazel in colour, and
-in shape and expression they resembled those of
-another Mary, who was also Queen of Hearts.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth Chantrey became suddenly aware
-that she was shaking all over, and that the room
-was full of a thick white mist. She groped in the
-mist and found a chair. She made a step forward,
-and sat down. Then the mist grew thinner by
-degrees, and through it she saw that Mary had
-come quite close to David again. She was looking
-up at him. Her hands were against his breast,
-and she was saying:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David&mdash;David&mdash;David, you said the world
-was not enough to give me once.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David&rsquo;s face was rigid.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_52">52</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You wouldn&rsquo;t take what I had to give,&rdquo; he
-said very low. He had forgotten Elizabeth
-Chantrey. He saw nothing but Mary&rsquo;s eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You didn&rsquo;t want my love, Mary, and now
-you want my honour. And you say it is only a
-little thing.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary lifted her head and met his eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Give it me,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;If it is a great thing,
-well, I shall value it all the more. Oh, David,
-because I ask it. Because I shall love you all my
-life, and bless you all my life. And if I&rsquo;m asking
-you a great thing&mdash;oh, David, you said that
-nothing would be too great to give me. Oh,
-David, won&rsquo;t you give me this now? Won&rsquo;t you
-give me this one thing, because I ask it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>As Mary spoke the mist cleared from before
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes and the numbness that had been
-upon her changed slowly into feeling. She put
-both hands to her heart, and held them there.
-Her heart beat against her hands, and every beat
-hurt her. She felt again, and what she felt was
-the sharpest pain that she had ever known, and
-she had known much pain.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_53">53</div>
-<p>She had suffered when David left Market
-Harford. She had suffered when he ceased to
-write. She had suffered when he returned only
-to fall headlong in love with Mary. And what
-she had suffered then had been a personal pang,
-a thing to be struggled with, dominated, and overcome.
-Now she must look on whilst David
-suffered too. Must watch whilst his nerves
-tautened, his strength failed, his self-control gave
-way. And she could not shut her eyes or look
-away. She could not raise her thought above this
-level of pain. The black cloud overshadowed
-them and hid the light of heaven.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I ask you, David&mdash;David, because
-I ask you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary&rsquo;s voice trembled and fell to a quivering
-whisper.</p>
-<p>Suddenly David pushed her away. He turned
-and made a stumbling step towards the fireplace.
-His hands gripped the narrow mantelshelf. His
-eyes stared at the wall. And from the wall
-Mary&rsquo;s eyes looked back at him from the miniature
-of Mary&rsquo;s mother. There was a long minute&rsquo;s
-silence. Then David swung round. His face was
-flushed, his eyes looked black.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If I do it can you hold your tongues?&rdquo; he said
-in a rough, harsh voice.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_54">54</div>
-<p>Mary drew a deep soft breath of relief. She
-had won. Her hands dropped to her side, her
-whole figure relaxed, her face became soft and
-young again.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;O David, God bless you!&rdquo; she cried.</p>
-<p>David frowned. His brows made a dark line
-across his face. Every feature was heavy and
-forbidding.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Can you hold your tongues?&rdquo; he repeated.
-&ldquo;Do you understand&mdash;do you fully understand
-that if a word of this is ever to get out it&rsquo;s just
-sheer ruin to the lot of us? Do you grasp that?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth Chantrey got up. She crossed the
-room, and stood at David&rsquo;s side, nearly as tall as
-he.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t do it, David,&rdquo; she said, with a sudden
-passion in her voice.</p>
-<p>Mary turned on her in a flash.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz,&rdquo; she cried; but David stood between.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s none of your business, Elizabeth. You
-keep out of it.&rdquo; The tone was kinder than the
-words.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was silent. She drew away, and did
-not speak again.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_55">55</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ll do it on one condition,&rdquo; said David Blake.
-&ldquo;You&rsquo;d better go and tell Edward at once. I
-don&rsquo;t want to see him. I don&rsquo;t suppose he&rsquo;s
-been talking to any one&mdash;it&rsquo;s not exactly likely&mdash;but
-if he has the matter&rsquo;s out of my hands. I&rsquo;ll
-not touch it. If he hasn&rsquo;t, and you&rsquo;ll all hold
-your tongues, I&rsquo;ll do it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He turned to the door and Mary cried: &ldquo;Won&rsquo;t
-you write it now? Won&rsquo;t you sign it before you
-go?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed grimly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you think I go about with my pockets
-full of death certificates?&rdquo; he said. Then he was
-gone, and the door shut to behind him.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth moved, and spoke.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I will tell Markham that you are ready to go
-home,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_56">56</div>
-<h2 id="c5"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER V</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">TOWN TALK</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">As long as idle dogs will bark, and idle asses bray,</p>
-<p class="t0">As long as hens will cackle over every egg they lay,</p>
-<p class="t">So long will folks be chattering,</p>
-<p class="t">And idle tongues be clattering,</p>
-<p class="t0">For the less there is to talk about, the more there is to say.</p>
-</div>
-<p>The obituary notices of old Mr. Mottisfont
-which appeared in due course in the two
-local papers were of a glowingly appreciative
-nature, and at least as accurate as such notices
-usually are. David could not help thinking how
-much the old gentleman would have relished the
-fine phrases and the flowing periods. Sixty years
-of hard work were compressed into two and a half
-columns of palpitating journalese. David preferred
-the old man&rsquo;s own version, which had fewer
-adjectives and a great deal more backbone.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_57">57</div>
-<p>&ldquo;My father left me nothing but debts&mdash;and
-William. The ironworks were in a bad way, and
-we were on the edge of a bankruptcy. I was
-twenty-one, and William was fifteen, and every one
-shook their heads. I can see &rsquo;em now. Well, I
-gave some folk the rough side of my tongue, and
-some the smooth. I had to have money, and no
-one would lend. I got a little credit, but I couldn&rsquo;t
-get the cash. Then I hunted up my father&rsquo;s
-cousin, Edward Moberly. Rolling he was, and
-as close as wax. Bored to death too, for all his
-money. I talked to him, and he took to me. I
-talked to him for three days, and he lent me what
-I wanted, on my note of hand, and I paid it all
-back in five years, and the interest up-to-date
-right along. It took some doing but I got it
-done. Then the thing got a go on it, and we
-climbed right up. And folks stopped shaking
-their heads. I began to make my mark. I began
-to be a &lsquo;respected fellow-citizen.&rsquo; Oh, Lord,
-David, if you&rsquo;d known William you&rsquo;d respect
-me too! Talk about the debts&mdash;as a handicap,
-they weren&rsquo;t worth mentioning in the same breath
-with William. I could talk people into believing
-I was solvent, but I couldn&rsquo;t talk &rsquo;em into
-believing that William had any business capacity.
-And I couldn&rsquo;t pay off William, same as I paid
-off the debts.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_58">58</div>
-<p>David&rsquo;s recollections plunged him suddenly
-into a gulf of black depression. Such a plucky
-old man, and now he was dead&mdash;out of the way&mdash;and
-he, David, had lent a hand to cover the matter
-over, and shield the murderer. David took the
-black fit to bed with him at night, and rose in
-the morning with the gloom upon him still. It
-became a shadow which went with him in all his
-ways, and clung about his every thought. And
-with the gloom there came upon him a horrible,
-haunting recurrence of his old passion for Mary.
-The wound made by her rejection of him had been
-slowly skinning over, but in the scene which they
-had shared, and the stress of the emotions raised
-by it, this wound had broken out afresh, and now
-it was no more a deep clean cut, but a festering
-thing that bid fair to poison all the springs of life.
-At Mary&rsquo;s bidding he had violated a trust, and
-his own sense of honour. There were times when
-he hated Mary. There were times when he craved
-for her. And always his contempt for himself
-deepened, and with it the gloom&mdash;the black gloom.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_59">59</div>
-<p>&ldquo;The doctor gets through a sight of whisky
-these days,&rdquo; remarked Mrs. Havergill, David&rsquo;s
-housekeeper. &ldquo;And a more abstemious gentleman,
-I&rsquo;m sure I never did live with. Weeks a
-bottle of whisky &rsquo;ud last, unless he&rsquo;d friends in.
-And now&mdash;gone like a flash, as you might say.
-Only, just you mind there&rsquo;s not a word of this
-goes out of the &rsquo;ouse, Sarah, my girl. D&rsquo; ye hear?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Sarah, a whey-faced girl whose arms and legs
-were set on at uncertain angles, only nodded.
-She adored David with the unreasoning affection
-of a dog, and had he taken to washing in whisky
-instead of merely drinking it, she would have
-regarded his doing so as quite a right and proper
-thing.</p>
-<p>When the local papers had finished Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s
-obituary notices and had lavished all their
-remaining stock of adjectives upon the funeral
-arrangements, they proceeded to interest themselves
-in the terms of his will. For once, old Mr.
-Mottisfont had done very much what was expected
-of him. Local charities benefited and old servants
-were remembered. Elizabeth Chantrey was left
-twenty-five thousand pounds, and everything else
-went to Edward. &ldquo;To David Blake I leave my
-sincere respect, he having declined to receive a
-legacy.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David could almost see the old man grin as he
-wrote the words, could almost hear him chuckle,
-&ldquo;Very well, my highfalutin young man&mdash;into the
-pillory with you.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_60">60</div>
-<p>The situation held a touch of sardonic humour
-beyond old Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s contriving, and the
-iron of it rusted into David&rsquo;s soul. Market
-Harford discussed the terms of the will with great
-interest. They began to speculate as to what
-Elizabeth Chantrey would do. When it transpired
-that she was going to remain on in the old
-house and be joined there by Edward and Mary,
-there was quite a little buzz of talk.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I assure you he made it a condition&mdash;a <i>secret</i>
-condition,&rdquo; said old Mrs. Codrington in her deep
-booming voice. &ldquo;I have it from Mary herself.
-He made it a condition.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>It was quite impossible to disbelieve a statement
-made with so much authority. Mrs. Codrington&rsquo;s
-voice always stood her in good stead.
-It had a solidity which served to prop up any
-shaky fact. Miss Dobell, to whom she was
-speaking, sniffed, and felt a little out of it. She
-had been Agatha Mottisfont&rsquo;s great friend, and
-as such she felt that she herself should have been
-the fountainhead of information. As soon as
-Mrs. Codrington had departed Miss Hester
-Dobell put on her outdoor things and went to
-call upon Mary Mottisfont.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_61">61</div>
-<p>As it was a damp afternoon, she pinned up her
-skirts all round, and she was still unpinning them
-upon Mary&rsquo;s doorstep, when the door opened.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Miss Chantrey is with her sister? Oh, indeed!
-That is very nice, very nice indeed. And Mrs.
-Mottisfont is seeing visitors, you say? Yes?
-Then I will just walk in&mdash;just walk in.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Miss Dobell came into the drawing-room with
-a little fluttered run. Her faded blue eyes were
-moist, but not so moist as to prevent her perceiving
-that Mary wore a black dress which did not
-become her, and that Elizabeth had on an old
-grey coat and skirt, with dark furs, and a close
-felt hat which almost hid her hair. She greeted
-Mary very affectionately and Elizabeth a shade
-less affectionately.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I hope you are well, Mary, my dear? Yes?
-That is good. These sad times are very trying.
-And you, Elizabeth? I am pleased to find that
-you are able to be out. I feared you were indisposed.
-Every one was saying, &lsquo;Miss Chantrey
-must be indisposed, as she was not at the funeral.&rsquo;
-And I feared it was the case.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, thank you, I am quite well,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_62">62</div>
-<p>Miss Dobell seated herself, smoothing down her
-skirt. It was of a very bright blue, and she wore
-with it a little fawn-coloured jacket adorned with
-a black and white braid, which was arranged upon
-it in loops and spirals. She had on also a blue
-tie, fastened in a bow at her throat, and an extremely
-oddly-shaped hat, from one side of which
-depended a somewhat battered bunch of purple
-grapes. Beneath this rather bacchanalian headgear
-her old, mild, straw-coloured face had all the
-effect of an anachronism.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I am so glad to find you both. I am so glad
-to have the opportunity of explaining how it was
-that I did not attend the funeral. It was a great
-disappointment. Everything so impressive, by
-all accounts. Yes. But I could not have attended
-without proper mourning. No. Oh, no, it
-would have been impossible. Even though I was
-aware that poor dear Mr. Mottisfont entertained
-very singular ideas upon the subject of mourning,
-I know how much they grieved poor dear Agatha.
-They were very singular. I suppose, my dear
-Elizabeth, that it is in deference to poor Mr.
-Mottisfont&rsquo;s wishes that you do not wear black.
-I said to every one at once&mdash;oh, at <i>once</i>&mdash;&lsquo;depend
-upon it poor Mr. Mottisfont must have expressed
-a <i>wish</i>. Otherwise Miss Chantrey would certainly
-wear mourning&mdash;oh, certainly. After living
-so long in the house, and being like a daughter to
-him, it would be only proper, only right and
-proper.&rsquo; That is what I said, and I am sure I was
-right. It was his wish, was it not?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_63">63</div>
-<p>&ldquo;He did not like to see people in black,&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Miss Dobell in a flustered little
-voice. &ldquo;Very strange, is it not? But then so
-many of poor Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s ideas were very
-strange. I cannot help remembering how they
-used to grieve poor dear Agatha. And his views&mdash;so
-sad&mdash;so very sad. But there, we must not
-speak of them now that he is dead. No. Doubtless
-he knows better now. Oh, yes, we must hope
-so. I do not know what made me speak of it.
-I should not have done so. No, not now that he
-is dead! It was not right, or charitable. But I
-really only intended to explain how it came about
-that I was not at the funeral. It was a great
-deprivation&mdash;a very great deprivation, but I was
-there in spirit&mdash;oh, yes, in spirit.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The purple grapes nodded a little in sympathy
-with Miss Dobell&rsquo;s nervous agitation. She put
-up a little hand, clothed in a brown woollen glove,
-and steadied them.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_64">64</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I often think,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;that I should do
-well to purchase one black garment for such occasions
-as these. Now I should hardly have liked
-to come here to-day, dressed in colours, had I not
-been aware of poor dear Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s views.
-It is awkward. Yes, oh, yes. But you see, my
-dear Mary, in my youth, being one of a very large
-family, we were so continually in mourning that I
-really hardly ever possessed any garment of a
-coloured nature. When I was only six years old
-I can remember that we were in mourning for my
-grandfather. In those days, my dears, little
-girls, wore, well, they wore&mdash;little&mdash;hem&mdash;white
-trousers, quite long, you know, reaching in fact to
-the ankle. Under a black frock it had quite a
-garish appearance. And my dear mother, who
-was very particular about all family observances,
-used to stitch black crape bands upon the trouser-legs.
-It was quite a work. Oh, yes, I assure you.
-Then after my grandfather, there was my great-uncle
-George, and on the other side of the family
-my great-aunt Eliza. And then there were my
-uncles, and two aunts, and quite a number of
-cousins. And, later on, my own dear brothers
-and sisters. So that, as you may say, we were
-never out of black at all, for our means were such
-that it was necessary to wear out one garment
-before another could be purchased. And I became
-a little weary of wearing black, my dears.
-So when my last dear sister died, I went into
-colours. Not at once, oh, no!&rdquo;&mdash;Miss Dobell
-became very much shocked and agitated at the
-sound of her own words. &ldquo;Oh, dear, no. Not,
-of course, until after a full and proper period of
-mourning, but when that was over I went into
-colours, and have never since possessed anything
-black. You see, as I have no more relations, it
-is unnecessary that I should be provided with
-mourning.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_65">65</div>
-<p>Elizabeth Chantrey left her sister&rsquo;s house in
-rather a saddened mood. She wondered if she
-too would ever be left derelict. Unmarried
-women were often very lonely. Life went past
-them down other channels. They missed their
-link with the generations to come, and as the new
-life sprang up it knew them not, and they had
-neither part nor lot in it. When she reached
-home she sat for a long while very still, forcing
-her consciousness into a realisation of Life as
-a thing unbroken, one, eternal. The peace of
-it came upon her, and the sadness passed.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_66">66</div>
-<h2 id="c6"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER VI</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE LETTER</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Oh, you shall walk in the mummers&rsquo; train,</p>
-<p class="t0">And dance for a beggar&rsquo;s boon,</p>
-<p class="t0">And wear as mad a motley</p>
-<p class="t0">As any under the moon,</p>
-<p class="t0">And you shall pay the piper&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t0">But I will call the tune.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Old Mr. Mottisfont had been dead for about
-a fortnight when the letter arrived. David
-Blake found it upon his breakfast table when he
-came downstairs. It was a Friday morning, and
-there was an east wind blowing. David came into
-the dining-room wishing that there were no such
-thing as breakfast, and there, propped up in
-front of his plate, was the letter. He stared at it,
-and stared again. A series of sleepless or hag-ridden
-nights are not the best preparation for a
-letter written in a dead man&rsquo;s hand and sealed
-with a dead man&rsquo;s seal. If David&rsquo;s hand was
-steady when he picked up the letter it was because
-his will kept it steady, and for no other reason.
-As he held it in his hand, Mrs. Havergill came
-bustling in with toast and coffee. David passed
-her, went into his consulting room and shut the
-door.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_67">67</div>
-<p>&ldquo;First he went red and then he went white,&rdquo;
-she told Sarah, &ldquo;and he pushed past me as if I
-were a stock, or a post, or something of that sort.
-I &rsquo;ope he &rsquo;asn&rsquo;t caught one of them nasty fevers,
-down in some slum. &rsquo;Tisn&rsquo;t natural for a man to
-turn colour that way. There was only one young
-man ever I knew as did it, William Jones his name
-was, and he was the sexton&rsquo;s son down at Dunnington.
-And he&rsquo;d do it. Red one minute and white
-the next, and then red again. And he went off
-in a galloping decline, and broke his poor mother&rsquo;s
-heart. And there&rsquo;s their two graves side by side
-in Dunnington Churchyard. Mr. Jones, he dug
-the graves hisself, and never rightly held his head
-up after.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David Blake sat down at his table and spread
-out old Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s letter upon the desk in
-front of him. It was a long letter, written in a
-clear, pointed handwriting, which was characteristic
-and unmistakable.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_68">68</div>
-<blockquote>
-<p>&ldquo;My dear David,&rdquo;&mdash;wrote old Mr. Mottisfont,&mdash;&ldquo;My
-dear David, I have just written a
-letter to Edward&mdash;a blameless and beautiful
-letter&mdash;in which I have announced my immediate,
-or, as one might say, approximate intention of
-committing suicide by the simple expedient of
-first putting arsenic into a cup of tea and then
-drinking the tea. I shall send Edward for the
-tea, and I shall put the arsenic into it, under his
-very nose. And Edward will be thinking of
-beetles, and will not see me do it. I am prepared
-to bet my bottom dollar that he does not see me
-do it. Edward&rsquo;s letter, of which I enclose a copy,
-is the sort of letter which one shows to coroners, and
-jurymen, and legal advisers. Of course things
-may not have gone as far as that, but, on the
-other hand, they may. There are evil-minded
-persons who may have suspected Edward of
-having hastened my departure to a better world.
-You may even have suspected him yourself, in
-which case, of course, my dear David, this letter
-will be affording you a good deal of pleasurable
-relief.&rdquo; David clenched his hand and read on.
-&ldquo;Edward&rsquo;s letter is for the coroner. It should
-arrive about a fortnight after my death, if my
-valued correspondent, William Giles, of New York,
-does as I have asked him. This letter is for you.
-Between ourselves, then, it was that possible
-three years of yours that decided me. I couldn&rsquo;t
-stand it. I don&rsquo;t believe in another world, and
-I&rsquo;m damned if I&rsquo;ll put in three years&rsquo; hell in this
-one. Do you remember old Madden? I do, and
-I&rsquo;m not going to hang on like that, not to please
-any one, nor I&rsquo;m not going to be cut up in sections
-either. So now you know all about it.
-I&rsquo;ve just sent Edward for the tea. Poor Edward,
-it will hurt his feelings very much to be suspected
-of polishing me off. By the way, David, as a sort
-of last word&mdash;you&rsquo;re no end of a damn fool&mdash;why
-don&rsquo;t you marry the right woman instead of
-wasting your time hankering after the wrong one?
-That&rsquo;s all. Here&rsquo;s luck.</p>
-<p><span class="center">&ldquo;Yours.</span>
-<span class="jr">&ldquo;E. M. M.&rdquo;</span></p>
-</blockquote>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_69">69</div>
-<p>David read the letter straight through without
-any change of expression. When he came to the
-end he folded the sheets neatly, put them back in
-the envelope, and locked the envelope away in a
-drawer. Then his face changed suddenly. First,
-a great rush of colour came into it, and then every
-feature altered under an access of blind and ungovernable
-anger. He pushed back his chair and
-sprang up, but the impetus which had carried him
-to his feet appeared to receive some extraordinary
-check. His movement had been a very violent
-one, but all at once it passed into rigidity. He
-stood with every muscle tense, and made neither
-sound nor movement. Slowly the colour died
-out of his face. Then he took a step backwards
-and dropped again into the chair. His eyes were
-fixed upon the strip of carpet which lay between
-him and the writing-table. A small, twisted
-scrap of paper was lying there. David Blake
-looked hard at the paper, but he did not see it.
-What he saw was another torn and twisted thing.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_70">70</div>
-<p>A man&rsquo;s professional honour is a very delicate
-thing. David had never held his lightly. If he
-had violated it, he had done so because there
-were great things in the balance. Mary&rsquo;s happiness,
-Mary&rsquo;s future, Mary&rsquo;s life. He had betrayed
-a trust because Mary asked it of him and
-because there was so much in the balance. And
-it had all been illusion. There had been no risk&mdash;no
-danger. Nothing but an old man&rsquo;s last and
-cruelest jest. And he, David, had been the old
-man&rsquo;s dupe. A furious anger surged in him. For
-nothing, it was all for nothing. He had wrenched
-himself for nothing, forfeited his self-respect for
-nothing, sold his honour for nothing. Mary had
-bidden him, and he had done her bidding, and it
-was all for nothing. A little bleak sunlight came
-in at the window and showed the worn patches
-upon the carpet. David could remember that
-old brown carpet for as long as he could remember
-anything. It had been in his father&rsquo;s consulting
-room. The writing-table had been there too.
-The room was full of memories of William Blake.
-Old familiar words and looks came back to David
-as he sat there. He remembered many little
-things, and, as he remembered, he despised himself
-very bitterly. As the moments passed, so his
-self-contempt grew, until it became unbearable.
-He rose, pushing his chair so that it fell over with a
-crash, and went into the dining-room.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_71">71</div>
-<p>Half an hour later Sarah put her head round the
-corner of the door and announced, &ldquo;Mr. Edward
-Mottisfont in the consulting room, sir.&rdquo; David
-Blake was sitting at the round table with a decanter
-in front of him. He got up with a short
-laugh and went to Edward.</p>
-<p>Edward presented a ruffled but resigned appearance.
-He was agitated, but beneath the agitation
-there was plainly evident a trace of melancholy
-triumph.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_72">72</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve had a letter,&rdquo; he began. David stood
-facing him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;So have I,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>Edward&rsquo;s wave of the hand dismissed as
-irrelevant all letters except his own. &ldquo;But
-mine&mdash;mine was from my uncle,&rdquo; he exclaimed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Exactly. He was obliging enough to send me
-a copy.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&mdash;you know,&rdquo; said Edward. Then he
-searched his pockets, and ultimately produced
-a folded letter.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;ve had a letter like this? He&rsquo;s told you?
-You know?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That he&rsquo;s played us the dirtiest trick on
-record? Yes, thanks, Edward, I&rsquo;ve been enjoying
-the knowledge for the best part of an hour.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward shook his head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Of course he was mad,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I have
-often wondered if he was quite responsible. He
-used to say such extraordinary things. If you
-remember, I asked you about it once, and you
-laughed at me. But now, of course, there is no
-doubt about it. His brain had become affected.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David&rsquo;s lip twitched a little.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_73">73</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Mad? Oh, no, you needn&rsquo;t flatter yourself,
-he wasn&rsquo;t mad. I only hope my wits may last as
-well. He wasn&rsquo;t mad, but he&rsquo;s made the biggest
-fools of the lot of us&mdash;the biggest fools. Oh, Lord!&mdash;how
-he&rsquo;d have laughed. He set the stage, and
-called the cast, and who so ready as we? First
-Murderer&mdash;Edward Mottisfont; Chief Mourner&mdash;Mary,
-his wife; and Tom Fool, beyond all other
-Tom Fools, David Blake, M.D. My Lord, he
-never said a truer word than when he wrote me
-down a damn fool!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David ended on a note of concentrated bitterness,
-and Edward stared at him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I would much rather believe he was out of his
-mind,&rdquo; he said uncomfortably. &ldquo;And he is dead&mdash;after
-all, he&rsquo;s dead.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said David grimly, &ldquo;he&rsquo;s dead.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And thanks to you,&rdquo; continued Edward,
-&ldquo;there has been no scandal&mdash;or publicity. It
-would really have been dreadful if it had all come
-out. Most&mdash;most unpleasant. I know you
-didn&rsquo;t wish me to say anything.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_74">74</div>
-<p>Edward began to rumple his hair wildly.
-&ldquo;Mary told me, and of course I know it&rsquo;s beastly
-to be thanked, and all that, but I can&rsquo;t help saying
-that&mdash;in fact&mdash;I <i>am</i> awfully grateful. And I&rsquo;m
-awfully thankful that the matter has been cleared
-up so satisfactorily. If we hadn&rsquo;t got this letter,
-well&mdash;I don&rsquo;t like to say such a thing&mdash;but any
-one of us might have come to suspect the other.
-It doesn&rsquo;t sound quite right to say it,&rdquo; pursued
-Edward apologetically, &ldquo;but it might have happened.
-You might have suspected me&mdash;oh, I
-don&rsquo;t mean really&mdash;I am only supposing, you
-know&mdash;or I might have suspected you. And now
-it&rsquo;s all cleared up, and no harm done, and as to
-my poor old uncle, he was mad. People who
-commit suicide are always mad. Every one
-knows that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, have it your own way,&rdquo; said David Blake.
-&ldquo;He was mad, and now everything is comfortably
-arranged, and we can all settle down with nothing
-on our minds, and live happily ever after.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a savage sarcasm in his voice, which
-he did not trouble to conceal.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And now, look here,&rdquo; he went on with a sudden
-change of manner. He straightened himself and
-looked squarely at Edward Mottisfont. &ldquo;Those
-letters have got to be kept.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now I should have thought&mdash;&rdquo; began
-Edward, but David broke in almost violently.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_75">75</div>
-<p>&ldquo;For Heaven&rsquo;s sake, don&rsquo;t start thinking,
-Edward.&rdquo; He said: &ldquo;Just you listen to me.
-These letters have got to be kept. They&rsquo;ve
-got to sit in a safe at a lawyer&rsquo;s. We&rsquo;ll seal &rsquo;em
-up in the presence of witnesses, and send &rsquo;em off.
-We&rsquo;re not out of the wood yet. If this business
-were ever to leak out&mdash;and, after all, there are
-four of us in it, and two of them are women&mdash;if
-it were ever to leak out, we should want these letters
-to save our necks. Yes&mdash;our necks. Good Lord,
-Edward, did you never realise your position?
-Did you never realise that any jury in the world
-would have hanged you on the evidence? It was
-damning&mdash;absolutely damning. And I come in
-as accessory after the fact. No, thank you, I
-think we&rsquo;ll keep the letters, until we&rsquo;re past
-hanging. And there&rsquo;s another thing&mdash;how many
-people have you told? Mary, of course?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, Mary, but no one else,&rdquo; said Edward.</p>
-<p>David made an impatient movement.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If you&rsquo;ve told her, you&rsquo;ve told her,&rdquo; he said.
-&ldquo;Now what you&rsquo;ve got to do is this: you&rsquo;ve got
-to rub it into Mary that it&rsquo;s just as important
-for her to hold her tongue now as it was before the
-letter came. She was safe as long as she thought
-your neck was in danger, but do, for Heaven&rsquo;s
-sake, get it into her head that I&rsquo;m dead damned
-broke, if it ever gets out that I helped to hush up a
-case that looked like murder and turned out to be
-suicide. The law wouldn&rsquo;t hang me, but I should
-probably hang myself. I&rsquo;d be <i>broke</i>. Rub that
-in.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_76">76</div>
-<p>&ldquo;She may have told Elizabeth,&rdquo; said Edward
-hesitatingly. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m afraid she may have told
-Elizabeth by now.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Elizabeth doesn&rsquo;t talk,&rdquo; said David shortly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nor does Mary.&rdquo; Edward&rsquo;s tone was rather
-aggrieved.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no woman ever talks,&rdquo; said David.</p>
-<p>He laughed harshly, and Edward went away
-with his feelings of gratitude a little chilled, and
-a faint suspicion in his mind that David had
-been drinking.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_77">77</div>
-<h2 id="c7"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER VII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">ELIZABETH CHANTREY</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Whatever ways we walk in and whatever dreams come true,</p>
-<p class="t0">You still shall say, &ldquo;God speed&rdquo; to me, and I, &ldquo;God go with you.&rdquo;</p>
-</div>
-<p>Some days later Elizabeth Chantrey went
-away for about a month, to pay a few long-promised
-visits. She went first to an old school-friend,
-then to some relations, and lastly to the
-Mainwarings. Agneta Mainwaring had moved
-to town after her mother&rsquo;s death, and was sharing
-a small flat with her brother Louis, in a very fashionable
-quarter. She had been engaged for about
-six months to Douglas Strange, and was expecting
-to marry him as soon as he returned from his
-latest, and most hazardous journey across Equatorial
-Africa.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I thought you were never coming,&rdquo; said
-Agneta, as they sat in the firelight, Louis on the
-farther side of the room, close to the lamp, with
-his head buried in a book.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_78">78</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Never, never, <i>never</i>!&rdquo; repeated Agneta, stroking
-the tail of Elizabeth&rsquo;s white gown affectionately
-and nodding at every word. She was sitting
-on the curly black hearth-rug, a small vivid creature
-in a crimson dress. Agneta Mainwaring was
-little and dark, passionate, earnest, and frivolous.
-A creature of variable moods and intense
-affections, steadfast only where she loved. Elizabeth
-was watching the firelight upon the big
-square sapphire ring which she always wore. She
-looked up from it now and smiled at Agneta, just
-a smile of the eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, I am here,&rdquo; she said, and Agneta went
-on stroking, and exclaimed:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, it&rsquo;s so good to have you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;The world not been going nicely?&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>Agneta frowned.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, so, so. Really, Lizabeth, being engaged
-to an explorer is the <i>devil</i>. Sometimes I get a
-letter two days running, and sometimes I don&rsquo;t
-get one for two months, and I&rsquo;ve just been doing
-the two months&rsquo; stretch.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, &ldquo;you&rsquo;ll soon be getting
-two letters together, Neta.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_79">79</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, well, I did get one this morning, or I
-shouldn&rsquo;t be talking about it,&rdquo; Agneta flushed and
-laughed, then frowned again. Three little wrinkles
-appeared upon her nose. &ldquo;What worries me is
-that I am such a hopeless materialist about letters.
-Letters are rank materialism. Rank. Two people
-as much in touch with one another as Douglas and
-I oughtn&rsquo;t to need letters. I&rsquo;ve no business to
-be dependent on them. We ought to be able to
-reach one another without them. Of course we
-do&mdash;<i>really</i>&mdash;but we ought to know that we are
-doing it. We ought to be conscious of it. I&rsquo;ve
-no business to be dependent on wretched bits of
-paper, and miserable penfuls of ink. I ought to be
-able to do without them. And I&rsquo;m a blatant
-materialist. I can&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laughed a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I shouldn&rsquo;t worry, if I were you. It&rsquo;ll all
-come. You&rsquo;ll get past letters when you&rsquo;re
-ready to get past them. I don&rsquo;t think your
-materialism is of a very heavy order. It will go
-away if you don&rsquo;t fuss over it. We&rsquo;ll all get past
-letters in time.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta tossed her head.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_80">80</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, I don&rsquo;t suppose there&rsquo;ll be any letters
-in heaven,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m sure I trust
-not. My idea is that we shall sit on nice
-comfy clouds, and play at telephones with
-thought-waves.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis shut his book with a bang.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Really, Agneta, if that isn&rsquo;t materialism.&rdquo;
-He came over and sat down on the hearth-rug beside
-his sister. They were not at all alike. Where
-Agneta was small, Louis was large. Her hair and
-eyes were black, and his of a dark reddish-brown.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t know you were listening,&rdquo; she
-said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, I wasn&rsquo;t. I just heard, and I give you
-fair warning, Agneta, that if there are going to be
-telephones in your heaven, I&rsquo;m going somewhere
-else. I shall have had enough of them here.
-Hear the bells, the silver bells, the tintinabulation
-that so musically swells. From the bells, bells,
-bells, bells&mdash;bells, bells, bells.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta first pulled Louis&rsquo;s hair, and then put
-her fingers in her ears.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Stop! stop this minute! Oh, Louis, please.
-Oh, Lizabeth, make him stop. That thing always
-drives me perfectly crazy, and he knows it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;All right. It&rsquo;s done. I&rsquo;ve finished. I&rsquo;m
-much more merciful than Poe. I only wanted to
-point out that if that was your idea of heaven, it
-wasn&rsquo;t mine.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_81">81</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, good gracious!&rdquo; cried Agneta suddenly.
-She sprang up and darted to the door.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve absolutely and entirely forgotten to
-order any food for to-morrow. Any food whatever.
-All right, Louis, you won&rsquo;t laugh when
-you have to lunch on bread and water, and
-Lizabeth takes the afternoon train back to her
-horrible Harford place, because we have starved
-her.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis gave a resigned sigh and leaned comfortably
-back against an empty chair. For some
-moments he gazed dreamily at Elizabeth. Then
-he said: &ldquo;How nicely your hair shines. I like you
-all white and gold like that. If Browning had
-known you he needn&rsquo;t have written. &lsquo;What&rsquo;s
-become of all the gold, used to hang and brush
-their bosoms.&rsquo; You&rsquo;ve got your share.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But my hair isn&rsquo;t golden at all, Louis,&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>Louis frowned.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_82">82</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, it is,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it&rsquo;s gold without the
-dross&mdash;gold spiritualised. And you ought to
-know better than to pretend. You know as well
-as I do that your hair is a thing of beauty. The
-real joy for ever sort. It&rsquo;s no credit to you.
-You didn&rsquo;t make it. And you ought to be properly
-grateful for being allowed to walk about with
-a real live halo. Why should you pretend? If it
-wasn&rsquo;t pretence, you wouldn&rsquo;t take so much
-trouble about doing it. You&rsquo;d just twist it up
-on a single hairpin.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It wouldn&rsquo;t stay up,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I wish it wouldn&rsquo;t. Oh, Lizabeth, won&rsquo;t
-you let it down just for once?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, I won&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, with pleasant
-firmness.</p>
-<p>Louis fell into a gloom. His brown eyes
-darkened.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t see why,&rdquo; he said; and Elizabeth
-laughed at him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Louis, will you ever grow up?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis assumed an air of dignity. &ldquo;My last
-book,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;was not only very well reviewed
-by competent and appreciative persons, but I
-would have you to know that it also brought me
-in quite a large and solid cheque. And my poems
-have had what is known as a <i>succ&egrave;s d&rsquo;estime</i>,
-which means that you and your publisher lose
-money, but the critics say nice things. These
-facts, my dear madam, all point to my having
-emerged from the nursery.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_83">83</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Go on emerging, Louis,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, with
-a little nod of encouragement. Louis appeared
-to be plunged in thought. He frowned, made
-calculations upon his fingers, and finally inquired:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How many times have I proposed to you,
-Lizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth looked at him with amusement.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I really never counted. Do you want me
-to?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No. I think I&rsquo;ve got it right. I think it
-must be eight times, because I know I began
-when I was twenty, and I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ve missed
-a year since. This,&rdquo; said Louis, getting on to his
-knees and coming nearer, &ldquo;this will be number
-nine.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Louis, don&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And why not?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because it really isn&rsquo;t kind. Do you want
-me to go away to-morrow? If you propose to me,
-and I refuse you, every possible rule of propriety
-demands that I should immediately return to
-Market Harford. And I don&rsquo;t want to.&rdquo; Louis
-hesitated.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How long are you staying?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nice, hospitable young man. Agneta has
-asked me to stay for a fortnight.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_84">84</div>
-<p>&ldquo;All right.&rdquo; Louis sat back upon his heels.
-&ldquo;Let&rsquo;s talk about books. Have you read Pender&rsquo;s
-last? It&rsquo;s a wonder&mdash;just a wonder.&rdquo;</p>
-<p class="center"><span class="gs">* * * * * * * *</span></p>
-<p>Elizabeth enjoyed her fortnight&rsquo;s stay very
-much. She was glad to be away from Market
-Harford, and she was glad to be with Agneta and
-Louis. She saw one or two good plays, had a
-great deal of talk of the kind she had been starving
-for, and met a good many people who were doing
-interesting things. On the last day of her visit
-Agneta said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;So you go back to Market Harford for a year.
-Is it because Mr. Mottisfont asked you to?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Partly.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a little pause.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What are you going to do with your life,
-Lizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth looked steadily at the blue of her
-ring. Her eyes were very deep.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know, Neta. I&rsquo;m waiting to be told.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta nodded, and looked understanding.
-&ldquo;And if you aren&rsquo;t told?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I think I shall be.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But if not?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_85">85</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, that would be a telling in itself. If
-nothing happens before the year is up, I shall
-come up to London, and find some work. There&rsquo;s
-plenty.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Agneta. She put her little pointed
-chin in her hands and gazed at Elizabeth. There
-was something almost fierce in her eyes. She knew
-very little about David Blake, but she guessed
-a good deal more. And there were moments
-when it would have given her a great deal of
-pleasure to have spoken her mind on the subject.</p>
-<p>They sat for a little while in silence, and then
-Louis came in, and wandered about the room
-until Agneta exclaimed at him:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do, for goodness&rsquo; sake, sit down, Louis! You
-give me the fidgets.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis drifted over to the hearth. &ldquo;Have you
-ordered any meals,&rdquo; he said, with apparent
-irrelevance.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Tea, dinner, breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner
-again.&rdquo; Agneta&rsquo;s tone was vicious. &ldquo;Is that
-enough for you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Very well, then, run away and write a letter
-to Douglas. I believe you are neglecting him,
-and there&rsquo;s a nice fire in the dining-room.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_86">86</div>
-<p>Agneta rose with outraged dignity. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t
-write my love-letters to order, thank you,&rdquo; she
-said &ldquo;and you needn&rsquo;t worry about Douglas. If
-you want me to go away, I don&rsquo;t mind taking a
-book into the dining-room. Though, if you&rsquo;ll
-take my advice&mdash;but you won&rsquo;t&mdash;so I&rsquo;ll just
-leave you to find out for yourself.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis shut the door after her, and came back to
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Number nine,&rdquo; he observed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Louis, don&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to. You are in for it, Lizabeth.
-Your visit is over, so you can&rsquo;t accuse me of spoiling
-it. Number nine, and a fortnight overdue.
-Here goes. For the ninth time of asking, will you
-marry me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth shook her head at him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Louis, I won&rsquo;t,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<p>Louis looked at her steadily.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;This is the ninth time I have asked you. How
-many times have you taken me seriously, Lizabeth?
-Not once.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I should have been so very sorry to take you
-seriously, you see, Louis dear,&rdquo; said Elizabeth,
-speaking very sweetly and gently.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_87">87</div>
-<p>Louis Mainwaring walked to the window and
-stood there in silence for a minute or two. Elizabeth
-began to look troubled. When he turned
-round and came back his face was rather
-white.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you&rsquo;ve never taken me seriously&mdash;never
-once. But it&rsquo;s been serious enough,
-for me. You never thought it went deep&mdash;but
-it did. Some people hide their deep things under
-silence&mdash;every one can understand that. Others
-hide theirs under words&mdash;a great many light
-words. Jests. That&rsquo;s been my way. It&rsquo;s a
-better mask than the other, but I don&rsquo;t want any
-mask between us now. I want you to understand.
-We&rsquo;ve always talked about my being in love with
-you. We&rsquo;ve always laughed about it, but now I
-want you to understand. It&rsquo;s me, the whole of
-me&mdash;all there is&mdash;all there ever will be&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He was stammering now and almost incoherent.
-His hand shook. Elizabeth got up quickly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Louis dear, Louis dear,&rdquo; she said. She
-put her arm half round him, and for a moment he
-leaned his head against her shoulder. When he
-raised it he was trying to smile.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Lady of Consolation,&rdquo; he said, and then,
-&ldquo;how you would spoil a man whom you loved!
-There, Lizabeth, you needn&rsquo;t worry about it.
-You see, I&rsquo;ve always known that you would never
-love me.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_88">88</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Louis, but I love you very much, only
-not just like that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I know. I&rsquo;ve always known it and
-I&rsquo;ve always known that there was some one else
-whom you did love&mdash;just like that. What I&rsquo;ve
-been waiting for is to see it making you happy.
-And it doesn&rsquo;t make you happy. It never has.
-And, lately, there&rsquo;s been something fresh&mdash;something
-that has hurt. You&rsquo;ve been very unhappy.
-As soon as you came here I knew. What is it?
-Can&rsquo;t you tell me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth sat down again, but she did not turn
-her eyes away.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Louis, I don&rsquo;t think I can,&rdquo; she
-said.</p>
-<p>Louis&rsquo;s chin lifted.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Does Agneta know?&rdquo; he asked with a quick
-flash of jealousy.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, she doesn&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, reprovingly.
-&ldquo;And she has never asked.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis laughed.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_89">89</div>
-<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s for my conscience, I suppose,&rdquo; he said,
-&ldquo;but I don&rsquo;t mind. I can bear it a lot better if
-you haven&rsquo;t told Agneta. And look here, Lizabeth,
-even if you never tell me a single word, I
-shall always know things about you&mdash;things that
-matter. I&rsquo;ve always known when things went
-wrong with you, and I always shall.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>It was obviously quite as an afterthought that
-he added:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you mind?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, slowly, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think I
-mind. But don&rsquo;t look too close, Louis dear&mdash;not
-just now. It&rsquo;s kinder not to.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;All right,&rdquo; said Louis.</p>
-<p>Then he came over and stood beside her. &ldquo;Lizabeth,
-if there&rsquo;s anything I can do&mdash;any sort or
-kind of thing&mdash;you&rsquo;re to let me know. You will,
-won&rsquo;t you? You&rsquo;re the best thing in my world,
-and anything that I can do for you would be the
-best day&rsquo;s work I ever did. If you&rsquo;ll just clamp
-on to that we shall be all right.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth looked up, but before she could speak,
-he bent down, kissed her hastily on the cheek,
-and went out of the room.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth put her face in her hands and
-cried.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I suppose Louis has been proposing to you
-again,&rdquo; was Agneta&rsquo;s rather cross comment.
-&ldquo;Lizabeth, what on earth are you crying for?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Neta, do you hate me?&rdquo; said Elizabeth
-in a very tired voice.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_90">90</div>
-<p>Agneta knelt down beside her, and began to
-pinch her arm.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I would if I could, but I can&rsquo;t,&rdquo; she observed
-viciously. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve tried, of course, but I can&rsquo;t
-do it by myself, and it&rsquo;s not the sort of thing you
-can expect religion to be any help in. As if you
-didn&rsquo;t know that Louis and I simply love your
-littlest finger-nail, and that we&rsquo;d do anything for
-you, and that we think it an <i>honour</i> to be your
-friends, and&mdash;oh, Lizabeth, if you don&rsquo;t stop
-crying this very instant, I shall pour all the water
-out of that big flower-vase down the back of your
-neck!&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_91">91</div>
-<h2 id="c8"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER VIII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">EDWARD SINGS</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;What ails you, Andrew, my man&rsquo;s son,</p>
-<p class="t">That you should look so white,</p>
-<p class="t0">That you should neither eat by day,</p>
-<p class="t">Nor take your rest by night?&rdquo;</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;I have no rest when I would sleep,</p>
-<p class="t">No peace when I would rise,</p>
-<p class="t0">Because of Janet&rsquo;s yellow hair,</p>
-<p class="t">Because of Janet&rsquo;s eyes.&rdquo;</p>
-</div>
-<p>When Elizabeth Chantrey returned to Market
-Harford, she did so with quite a clear
-understanding of the difficulties that lay before
-her. Edward had spoken to her of his uncle&rsquo;s
-wishes, and begged her to fulfil them by remaining
-on in the old house as his and Mary&rsquo;s guest.
-Apparently it never occurred to him that the
-situation presented any difficulty, or that few
-women would find it agreeable to be guest where
-they had been mistress. Elizabeth was under no
-illusions. She knew that she was putting herself
-in an almost impossible position, but she had made
-up her mind to occupy that position for a year.
-She had given David Blake so much already,
-that a little more did not seem to matter. Another
-year, a little more pain, were all in the day&rsquo;s
-work. She had given many years and had suffered
-much pain. Through the years, through the
-pain, there had been at the back of her mind the
-thought, &ldquo;If he needed me, and I were not here.&rdquo;
-Elizabeth had always known that some day he
-would need her&mdash;not love her&mdash;but need her.
-And for that she waited.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_92">92</div>
-<p>Elizabeth returned to Market Harford on a
-fine November afternoon. The sun was shining,
-after two days&rsquo; rain, and Elizabeth walked up
-from the station, leaving her luggage to the carrier.
-It was quite a short walk, but she met so many
-acquaintances that she was some time reaching
-home. First, it was old Dr. Bull with his square
-face and fringe of stiff grey beard who waved his
-knobbly stick at her, and waddled across the
-road. He was a great friend of Elizabeth&rsquo;s, and
-he greeted her warmly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now, now, Miss Elizabeth, so you&rsquo;ve not
-quite deserted us, hey? Glad to be back, hey?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, very glad,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, smiling.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_93">93</div>
-<p>&ldquo;And every one will be glad to see you, all your
-friends. Hey? I&rsquo;m glad, Edward and Mary&rsquo;ll
-be glad, and David&mdash;hey? David&rsquo;s a friend of
-yours, isn&rsquo;t he? Used to be, I know, in the old
-days. Prodigious allies you were. Always in
-each other&rsquo;s pockets. Same books&mdash;same walks&mdash;same
-measles&mdash;&rdquo; he laughed heartily, and then
-broke off. &ldquo;David wants his friends,&rdquo; he said,
-&ldquo;for the matter of that, every one wants friends,
-hey? But you get David to come and see you,
-my dear. He won&rsquo;t want much persuading, hey?
-Well, well, I won&rsquo;t keep you. I mustn&rsquo;t waste
-your time. Now that I&rsquo;m idle, I forget that
-other people have business, hey? And I see Miss
-Dobell coming over to speak to you. Now, I
-wouldn&rsquo;t waste her time for the world. Not for
-the world, my dear Miss Elizabeth. Good-day,
-good-day, good-day.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>His eyes twinkled as he raised his hat, and he
-went off at an astonishing rate, as Miss Dobell
-picked her way across the road.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_94">94</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Such a fine man, Dr. Bull, I always think,&rdquo;
-she remarked in her precise little way. Every
-word she uttered had the effect of being enclosed
-in a separate little water-tight compartment. &ldquo;I
-really miss him, if I may say so. Oh, yes; and I
-am not the only one of his old patients who feels
-it a deprivation to have lost his services. Oh, no.
-Young men are so unreliable. They begin well,
-but they are unreliable. Oh, yes, sadly unreliable,&rdquo;
-repeated Miss Dobell with emphasis.</p>
-<p>She and Elizabeth were crossing the bridge as
-she spoke. Away to the left, above the water,
-Elizabeth could see the sunlight reflected from
-the long line of windows which faced the river.
-The trees before them were almost leafless, and it
-was easy to distinguish one house from another.
-David Blake lived in the seventh house, and Miss
-Dobell was gazing very pointedly in that direction,
-and nodding her head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I dislike gossip,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I set my face
-against gossip, my dear Elizabeth, I do not approve
-of it. I do not talk scandal nor permit it to
-be talked in my presence. But I am not blind, or
-deaf. Oh, no. We should be thankful when we
-have all our faculties, and mine are unimpaired,
-oh, yes, quite unimpaired, although I am not
-quite as young as you are.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes?&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_95">95</div>
-<p>Miss Dobell became rather flustered. &ldquo;I have
-a little errand,&rdquo; she said hurriedly. &ldquo;A little
-errand, my dear Elizabeth. I will not keep you,
-oh, no, I must not keep you now. I shall see you
-later, I shall come and see you, but I will not detain
-you now. Oh, no, Mary will be waiting for you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;So you have really come,&rdquo; said Mary a little
-later.</p>
-<p>After kissing her sister warmly, she had allowed
-a slight air of offence to appear. &ldquo;I had begun to
-think you had missed your train. I am afraid the
-tea will be rather strong, I had it made punctually,
-you see. I was beginning to think that you
-hadn&rsquo;t been able to tear yourself away from
-Agneta after all.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now, Molly&mdash;&rdquo; said Elizabeth, protestingly.</p>
-<p>But Mary was not to be turned aside. &ldquo;Of
-course you would much rather have stayed, I
-know that. Will you have bread and butter or
-tea-cake? When Mr. Mottisfont died, I said to
-myself, &lsquo;Now she&rsquo;ll go and live with Agneta, and
-she might just as well be <i>dead</i>.&rsquo; That&rsquo;s why I was
-quite pleased when Edward came and told me
-that Mr. Mottisfont had said you were to stay on
-here for a year. Of course, as I said to Edward,
-he had no right to make any such condition, and
-if it had been any one but you, I shouldn&rsquo;t have
-liked it at all. That&rsquo;s what I said to Edward&mdash;&lsquo;It
-really isn&rsquo;t fair, but Elizabeth isn&rsquo;t like other
-people. She won&rsquo;t try and run the house over my
-head, and she won&rsquo;t want to be always with us.&rsquo;
-You see, married people do like to have their
-evenings, but as I said to Edward, &lsquo;Elizabeth
-would much rather be in her own little room, with
-a book, than sitting with us.&rsquo; And you would,
-wouldn&rsquo;t you?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_96">96</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes,&rdquo; said Elizabeth laughing.</p>
-<p>The spectacle of Mary being tactful always
-made her laugh.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Of course when any one comes in in the evening&mdash;that&rsquo;s
-different. Of course you&rsquo;ll join us
-then. But you&rsquo;d rather be here as a rule, wouldn&rsquo;t
-you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, you know I love my little room. It was
-nice of you to have tea here, Molly,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I thought you&rsquo;d like it. And then I
-wanted the rest of the house to be a surprise to
-you. When we&rsquo;ve had tea I want to show you
-everything. Of course your rooms haven&rsquo;t been
-touched, you said you&rsquo;d rather they weren&rsquo;t; but
-everything else has been done up, and I really
-think it&rsquo;s very nice. I&rsquo;ve been quite excited
-over it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Give me a little more tea, Molly,&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_97">97</div>
-<p>As she leaned forward with her cup in her hand,
-she asked casually: &ldquo;Have you seen much of
-David lately?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes,&rdquo; said Mary, &ldquo;he&rsquo;s here very often.&rdquo;
-She pursed her lips a little. &ldquo;I think David is a
-<i>very</i> curious person, Liz. I don&rsquo;t understand him
-at all. I think he is very difficult to understand.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Is he, Molly?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth looked at her sister with something
-between anxiety and amusement.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, very. He&rsquo;s quite changed, it seems to
-me. I could understand his being upset just
-after Mr. Mottisfont&rsquo;s death. We were all upset
-then. I am sure I never felt so dreadful in my
-life. It made me quite ill. But afterwards,&rdquo;
-Mary&rsquo;s voice dropped to a lower tone, &ldquo;afterwards
-when the letter had come, and everything was
-cleared up&mdash;well, you&rsquo;d have thought he would
-have been all right again, wouldn&rsquo;t you? And
-instead, he has just gone on getting more and more
-unlike himself. You know, he was so odd when
-Edward went to see him that, really,&rdquo;&mdash;Mary
-hesitated&mdash;&ldquo;Edward thought&mdash;well, he wondered
-whether David had been drinking.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nonsense, Molly!&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_98">98</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, it&rsquo;s not only Edward&mdash;everybody has
-noticed how changed he is. Have you got anything
-to eat, Liz? Have some of the iced cake;
-it&rsquo;s from a recipe of Miss Dobell&rsquo;s and it&rsquo;s quite
-nice. What was I saying? Oh, about David&mdash;well,
-it&rsquo;s true, Liz&mdash;Mrs. Havergill told Markham;
-now, Liz, what&rsquo;s the sense of your looking at me
-like that? Of <i>course</i> I shouldn&rsquo;t <i>dream</i> of talking
-to an ordinary servant, but considering Markham
-has known us since we were about two&mdash;Markham
-takes an interest, a real interest, and when Mrs.
-Havergill told her that she was afraid David was
-taking a great deal more than was good for him,
-and she wished his friends could stop it, why,
-Markham naturally told me. She felt it her
-duty. I expect she thought I might have an
-<i>influence</i>&mdash;as I hope I have. That&rsquo;s why I
-encourage David to come here. I think it&rsquo;s so
-good for him. I think it makes such a difference
-to young men if they have a nice home to come to,
-and it&rsquo;s very good for them to see married people
-fond of each other, and happy together, like
-Edward and I are. Don&rsquo;t you think so?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know, Molly,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;Are
-people talking about David?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_99">99</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, they are. Of course I haven&rsquo;t said a
-word, but people are noticing how different he is.
-I don&rsquo;t see how they can help it, and yesterday
-when I was having tea with Mrs. Codrington, Miss
-Dobell began to hint all sorts of things, and there
-was quite a scene. You know how devoted Mrs.
-Codrington is! She really quite frightened poor
-little Miss Hester. I can tell you, I was glad that
-I hadn&rsquo;t said anything. Mrs. Codrington always
-frightens me. She looks so large, and she speaks
-so loud. I was quite glad to get away.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I like Mrs. Codrington,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, well, so do I. But I like her better when
-she&rsquo;s not angry. Oh, by the way, Liz, talking of
-David, do you know that I met Katie Ellerton
-yesterday, and&mdash;how long is it since Dr. Ellerton
-died?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;More than two years.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, she has gone quite out of mourning.
-You know how she went on at first&mdash;she was
-going to wear weeds always, and never change anything,
-and as to ever going into colours again, she
-couldn&rsquo;t imagine how any one could do it! And
-I met her out yesterday in quite a bright blue
-coat and skirt. What do you think of that?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_100">100</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly, you&rsquo;ve been going out to too
-many tea-parties! Why shouldn&rsquo;t poor Katie
-go out of mourning? I think it&rsquo;s very sensible
-of her. I have always been so sorry for
-her.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary assumed an air of lofty virtue. &ldquo;I <i>used</i>
-to be. But now, I don&rsquo;t approve of her at all.
-She&rsquo;s just doing her very best to catch David
-Blake. Every one can see it. If that wretched
-little Ronnie has so much as a thorn in his finger,
-she sends for David. She&rsquo;s making herself the
-laughing-stock of the place. I think it&rsquo;s simply
-horrid. I don&rsquo;t approve of second marriages at all.
-I never do see how any really nice-minded woman
-can marry again. And it&rsquo;s not only the marrying,
-but to run after a man, like that&mdash;it&rsquo;s quite dreadful!
-I am sure David would be most unhappy if
-he married her. It would be a dreadfully bad
-thing for him.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth leaned back in her chair.</p>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;How sweet the hour that sets us free</p>
-<p class="t0">To sip our scandal, and our tea,&rdquo;</p>
-</div>
-<p>she observed.</p>
-<p>Mary coloured.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I never talk scandal,&rdquo; she said in an offended
-voice, and Elizabeth refrained from telling her
-that Miss Dobell had made the same remark.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_101">101</div>
-<p>All the time that Mary was showing her over
-the house, Elizabeth was wondering whether it
-would be such a dreadfully bad thing for David
-to marry Katie Ellerton. Ronnie was a dear
-little boy, and David loved children, and Katie&mdash;Katie
-was one of those gentle, clinging creatures
-whom men adore and spoil. If she cared for him,
-and he grew to care for her&mdash;Elizabeth turned the
-possibilities over and over in her mind, wondering&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-<p>She wondered still more that evening, when
-David Blake came in after dinner. He had
-changed. Elizabeth looked at him and saw things
-in his face which she only half understood. He
-looked ill and tired, but both illness and weariness
-appeared to her to be incidental. Behind them
-there was something else, something much stronger
-and yet more subtle, some deflection of the man&rsquo;s
-whole nature.</p>
-<p>Edward and Mary did not disturb themselves
-at David&rsquo;s coming. They were at the piano,
-and Edward nodded casually, whilst Mary merely
-waved her hand and smiled.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_102">102</div>
-<p>David said &ldquo;How do you do?&rdquo; to Elizabeth,
-and sat down by the fire. He was in evening dress,
-but somehow he looked out of place in Mary&rsquo;s
-new white drawing-room. Edward had put in
-electric light all over the house, and here it shone
-through rosy shades. The room was all rose and
-white&mdash;roses on the chintz, a frieze of roses
-upon the walls, and a rose-coloured carpet on
-the floor. Only the two lamps over the piano
-were lighted. They shone on Mary. She was
-playing softly impassioned chords in support of
-Edward, who exercised a pleasant tenor voice
-upon the lays of Lord Henry Somerset. Mary
-played accompaniments with much sentiment.
-Occasionally, when the music was easy, she shot
-an adoring glance at Edward, a glance to which
-he duly responded, when not preoccupied with
-a note beyond his compass.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_103">103</div>
-<p>Elizabeth was tolerant of lovers, and Mary&rsquo;s
-little sentimentalities, like Mary&rsquo;s airs of virtuous
-matronhood, were often quite amusing to watch;
-but to-night, with David Blake as a fourth person
-in the room, Elizabeth found amusement merging
-into irritation and irritation into pain. Except
-for that lighted circle about the piano, the room
-lay all in shadow. There was a soft dusk upon it,
-broken every now and then by gleams of firelight.
-David Blake sat back in his chair, and the dimness
-of the room hid his face, except when the fire
-blazed up and showed Elizabeth how changed it
-was. She had been away only a month, and he
-looked like a stranger. His attitude was that of a
-very weary man. His head rested on his hand,
-and he looked all the time at Mary in the rosy glow
-which bathed her. When she looked up at Edward,
-he saw the look, saw the light shine down
-into her dark eyes and sparkle there. Not a look,
-not a smile was lost, and whilst he watched Mary,
-Elizabeth watched him. Elizabeth was very glad
-of the dimness that shielded her. It was a relief
-to drop the mask of a friendly indifference, to be
-able to watch David with no thought except for
-him. Her heart yearned to him as never before.
-She divined in him a great hunger&mdash;a great pain.
-And this hunger, this pain, was hers. The longing
-to give, to assuage, to comfort, welled up in her
-with a suddenness and strength that were almost
-startling. Elizabeth took her thought in a strong
-hand, forcing it along accustomed channels from
-the plane where love may be thwarted, to that
-other plane, where love walks unashamed and
-undeterred, and gives her gifts, no man forbidding
-her. Elizabeth sat still, with folded hands. Her
-love went out to David, like one ripple in
-a boundless, golden sea, from which they drew
-their being, and in which they lived and moved.
-A sense of light and peace came down upon
-her.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_104">104</div>
-<p>Edward&rsquo;s voice was filling the room. It was
-quite a pleasant voice, and if it never varied into
-expression, at least it never went out of tune,
-and every word was distinct.</p>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">&ldquo;Ah, well, I know the sadness</p>
-<p class="t">That tears and rends your heart,</p>
-<p class="t0">How that from all life&rsquo;s gladness</p>
-<p class="t">You stand far, far apart&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-</div>
-<p>sang Edward, in tones of the most complete
-unconcern.</p>
-<p>It was Mary who supplied all the sentiment
-that could be wished for. She dwelt on the chords
-with an almost superfluous degree of feeling, and
-her eyes were quite moist.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_105">105</div>
-<p>At any other time this combination of Edward
-and Lord Henry Somerset would have entertained
-Elizabeth not a little, but just now there was no
-room in her thoughts for any one but David.
-The light that was upon her gave her vision.
-She looked upon David with eyes that had grown
-very clear, and as she looked she understood.
-That he had changed, deteriorated, she had seen
-at the first glance. Now she discerned in him the
-cause of such an alteration&mdash;something wrenched
-and twisted. The scene in her little brown room
-rose vividly before her. When David had allowed
-Mary to sway him, he had parted with something,
-which he could not now recall. He had broken violently
-through his own code, and the broken thing
-was failing him at every turn. Mary&rsquo;s eyes, Mary&rsquo;s
-voice, Mary&rsquo;s touch&mdash;these things had waked in
-him something beyond the old passion. The
-emotional strain of that scene had carried him beyond
-his self-control. A feverish craving was upon
-him, and his whole nature burned in the flame of it.</p>
-<p>Edward had passed to another song.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_106">106</div>
-<p>&ldquo;One more kiss from my darling one,&rdquo; he sang
-in a slightly perfunctory manner. His voice was
-getting tired, and he seemed a little absent-minded
-for a lover who was about to plunge into Eternity.
-The manner in which he requested death to come
-speedily was a trifle unconvincing. As he began
-the next verse David made a sudden movement.
-A log of wood upon the fire had fallen sharply, and
-there was a quick upward rush of flame. David
-looked round, facing the glow, and as he did so his
-eyes met Elizabeth&rsquo;s. Just for one infinitesimal
-moment something seemed to pass from her to
-him. It was one of those strange moments which
-are not moments of time at all, and are therefore
-not subject to time&rsquo;s laws. Elizabeth Chantrey&rsquo;s
-eyes were full of peace. Full, too, of a passionate
-gentleness. It was a gentleness which for an
-instant touched the sore places in David&rsquo;s soul
-with healing, and for that one instant David had a
-glimpse of something very strong, very tender,
-that was his, and yet incomprehensibly withheld
-from his understanding. It was one of those
-instantaneous flashes of thought&mdash;one of those
-gleams of recognition which break upon the dulness
-of material sense. Before and after&mdash;darkness,
-the void, the unstarred night, a chaos of
-things forgotten. But for one dazzled instant,
-the lightning stab of Truth, unrealised.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth did not look away, or change colour.
-The peace was upon her still. She smiled a little,
-and as the moment passed, and the dark closed in
-again upon David&rsquo;s mind, she saw a spark of
-rather savage humour come into his eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then come Eternity&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, that&rsquo;s enough, Mary, I&rsquo;m absolutely
-hoarse,&rdquo; remarked Edward, all in the same breath,
-and with very much the same expression.</p>
-<p>Mary got up, and began to shut the piano.
-The light shone on her white, uncovered neck.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_107">107</div>
-<h2 id="c9"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER IX</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">MARY IS SHOCKED</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Through fire and frost and snow</p>
-<p class="t">I see you go,</p>
-<p class="t0">I see your feet that bleed,</p>
-<p class="t">My heart bleeds too.</p>
-<p class="t0">I, who would give my very soul for you,</p>
-<p class="t">What can I do?</p>
-<p class="t0">I cannot help your need.</p>
-</div>
-<p>That first evening was one of many others,
-all on very much the same pattern. David
-Blake would come in, after tea, or after dinner, sit
-for an hour in almost total silence, and then go
-away again. Every time that he came, Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-heart sank a little lower. This change, this
-obscuring of the man she loved, was an unreality,
-but how some unrealities have power to hurt us.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_108">108</div>
-<p>December brought extra work to the Market
-Harford doctors. There was an epidemic of
-measles amongst the children, combined with one
-of influenza amongst their elders. David Blake
-stood the extra strain but ill. He was slipping
-steadily down the hill. His day&rsquo;s work followed
-only too often upon a broken or sleepless night,
-and to get through what had to be done, or to
-secure some measure of sleep, he had recourse more
-and more frequently to stimulant. If no patient
-of his ever saw him the worse for drink, he was
-none the less constantly under its influence. If
-it did not intoxicate him, he came to rely upon
-its stimulus, and to distrust his unaided strength.
-He could no longer count upon his nerve, and
-the fear of all that nerve failure may involve
-haunted him continually and drove him down.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Look here, Blake, you want a change. Why
-don&rsquo;t you go away?&rdquo; said Tom Skeffington. It
-was a late January evening, and he had dropped
-in for a smoke and a chat. &ldquo;The press of work
-is over now, and I could very well manage the lot
-for a fortnight or three weeks. Will you go?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, I won&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said David shortly.</p>
-<p>Young Skeffington paused. It was not much
-after six in the evening, and David&rsquo;s face was
-flushed, his hand unsteady.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Look here, Blake,&rdquo; he said, and then stopped,
-because David was staring at him out of eyes that
-had suddenly grown suspicious.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well?&rdquo; said David, still staring.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_109">109</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, I should go away if I were you&mdash;go to
-Switzerland, do some winter sports. Get a thorough
-change. Come back yourself again.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was ever so slight an emphasis on the
-last few words, and David flashed into sudden
-anger.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mind your own business, and be damned to
-you, Skeffington,&rdquo; he cried.</p>
-<p>Tom Skeffington shrugged his shoulders.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, certainly,&rdquo; he said, and made haste to
-be gone.</p>
-<p>Blake in this mood was quite impracticable.
-He had no mind for a scene.</p>
-<p>David sat on, with a tumbler at his elbow. So
-they wanted him out of the way. That was the
-third person who had told him he needed a change&mdash;the
-third in one week. Edward was one, and
-old Dr. Bull, and now Skeffington. Yes, of course,
-Skeffington would like him out of the way, so as
-to get all the practice into his own hands. Edward
-too. Was it this morning, or yesterday morning,
-that Edward had asked him when he was going
-to take a holiday? Now he came to think of it,
-it was yesterday morning. And he supposed that
-Edward wanted him out of the way too. Perhaps
-he went too often to Edward&rsquo;s house. David
-began to get angry. Edward was an ungrateful
-hound. &ldquo;Damned ungrateful,&rdquo; said David&rsquo;s
-muddled brain. The idea of going to see Mary
-began to present itself to him. If Edward did not
-like it, Edward could lump it. He had been told
-to come whenever he liked. Very well, he liked
-now. Why shouldn&rsquo;t he?</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_110">110</div>
-<p>He got up and went out into the cold. Then,
-when he was half-way up the High Street he remembered
-that Edward had gone away for a couple
-of days. It occurred to him as a very agreeable
-circumstance. Mary would be alone, and they
-would have a pleasant, friendly time together.
-Mary would sit in the rosy light and play to him,
-not to Edward, and sing in that small sweet voice
-of hers&mdash;not to Edward, but to him.</p>
-<p>It was a cold, crisp night, and the frosty air
-heightened the effect of the stimulant which he
-had taken. He had left his own house flushed,
-irritable, and warm, but he arrived at the Mottisfonts&rsquo;
-as unmistakably drunk as a man may be who
-is still upon his legs.</p>
-<p>He brushed past Markham in the hall before
-she had time to do more than notice that his
-manner was rather odd, and she called after him
-that Mrs. Mottisfont was in the drawing-room.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_111">111</div>
-<p>David went up the stairs walking quite steadily,
-but his brain, under the influence of one idea,
-appeared to work in a manner entirely divorced
-from any volition of his.</p>
-<p>Mary was sitting before the fire, in the rosy
-glow of his imagining. She wore a dim purple
-gown, with a border of soft dark fur. A book
-lay upon her lap, but she was not reading. Her
-head, with its dark curls, rested against the rose-patterned
-chintz of the chair. Her skin was as
-white as a white rose leaf. Her lips as softly red
-as real red roses. A little amethyst heart hung
-low upon her bosom and caught the light. There
-was a bunch of violets at her waist. The room
-was sweet with them.</p>
-<p>Mary looked up half startled as David Blake
-came in. He shut the door behind him, with a
-push, and she was startled outright when she saw
-his face. He looked at her with glazed eyes, and
-smiled a meaningless and foolish smile.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward is out,&rdquo; said Mary, &ldquo;he is away.&rdquo;
-And then she wished that she had said anything
-else. She looked at the bell, and wondered where
-Elizabeth was. Elizabeth had said something
-about going out&mdash;one of her sick people.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_112">112</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;out,&rdquo; said David, still smiling. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s
-why I&rsquo;ve come. He&rsquo;s out&mdash;Edward&rsquo;s out&mdash;gone
-away. You&rsquo;ll play to me&mdash;not to Edward&mdash;to-night.
-You&rsquo;ll sit in this nice pink light and&mdash;play
-to me, won&rsquo;t you&mdash;Mary dear?&rdquo; The
-words slipped into one another, tripped, jostled,
-and came with a run.</p>
-<p>David advanced across the room, moving with
-caution, and putting each foot down slowly and
-carefully. His irritability had vanished. He felt
-instead a pleasant sense of warmth and satisfaction.
-He let himself sink into a chair and gazed
-at Mary.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Le&rsquo;s sit down&mdash;and have nice long talk,&rdquo;
-he said in an odd, thick voice; &ldquo;we haven&rsquo;t had&mdash;nice
-long talk&mdash;for months. Le&rsquo;s talk now.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary began to tremble. Except in the streets,
-she had never seen a man drunk before, and even
-in the streets, passing by on the other side of the
-road, under safe protection, and with head averted,
-she had felt sick and terrified. What she felt
-now she hardly knew. She looked at the bell.
-She would have to pass quite close to David before
-she could reach it. Elizabeth&mdash;she might ring
-and ask if Elizabeth had come in. Yes, she
-might do that. She made a step forward, but
-as she reached to touch the bell, David leaned
-sideways, with a sudden heavy jerk, and caught
-her by the wrist.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_113">113</div>
-<p>&ldquo;What&rsquo;s that for?&rdquo; he asked.</p>
-<p>Suspicion roused in him again, and he frowned
-as he spoke. His face was very red, and his eyes
-looked black. Mary had cried out, when he
-caught her wrist. Now, as he continued to hold
-it, she stared at him in helpless silence. Then
-quite suddenly she burst into hysterical tears.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Let me go&mdash;oh, let me go! Go away, you&rsquo;re
-not fit to be here! You&rsquo;re drunk. Let me go at
-once! How dare you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David continued to hold her wrist, not of any
-set purpose, but stupidly. He seemed to have forgotten
-to let it go. The heat and pressure of his
-hand, his slow vacant stare, terrified Mary out
-of all self-control. She tried to pull her hand
-away, and as David&rsquo;s clasp tightened, and she
-felt her own helplessness, she screamed aloud, and
-almost as she did so the door opened sharply and
-Elizabeth Chantrey came into the room. She
-wore a long green coat, and dark furs, and her
-colour was bright and clear with exercise. For
-one startled second she stood just inside the room,
-with her hand upon the door. Then, as she made
-a step forward, David relaxed his grasp, and
-Mary, wrenching her hand away, ran sobbing to
-meet her sister.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_114">114</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Liz! Oh, Liz!&rdquo; she cried.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was cold to the very heart. David&rsquo;s
-face&mdash;the heavy, animal look upon it&mdash;and Mary&rsquo;s
-frightened pallor, the terror in her eyes. What
-had happened?</p>
-<p>She caught Mary by the arm.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He held me&mdash;he wouldn&rsquo;t let me go. He
-caught my wrist when I was going to ring
-the bell, and held it. Make him go away,
-Liz.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth drew a long breath of relief. She
-scarcely knew what she had feared, but she felt
-suddenly as if an intolerable weight had been
-lifted from her mind. The removal of this weight
-set her free to think and act.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, hush! Do you hear me, hush! Pull
-yourself together! Do you know I heard you
-scream half-way up the stairs? Do you want the
-servants to hear too?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She spoke in low, rapid tones, and Mary caught
-her breath like a child.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But he&rsquo;s tipsy, Liz. Oh, Liz, make him go
-away,&rdquo; she whispered.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_115">115</div>
-<p>David had got upon his feet. He was looking
-at the two women with a puzzled frown.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; he said slowly, and
-Mary turned on him with a sudden spurt of
-temper.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I wonder you&rsquo;re not ashamed,&rdquo; she said in
-rather a trembling voice. &ldquo;I do wonder you&rsquo;re
-not&mdash;and will you please go away at once, or do
-you want the servants to come in, and every one to
-know how disgracefully you have behaved?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, hush!&rdquo; said Elizabeth again.</p>
-<p>Her own colour died away, leaving her very pale.
-Her eyes were fixed on David with a look between
-pity and appeal. She left Mary and went to him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; she said, putting her hand on his arm,
-&ldquo;won&rsquo;t you go home now? It&rsquo;s getting late.
-It&rsquo;s nearly dinner time, and I&rsquo;m afraid we can&rsquo;t
-ask you to stay to-night.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_116">116</div>
-<p>Something in her manner sobered David a
-little. Mary had screamed&mdash;why? What had he
-said to her&mdash;or done? She was angry. Why?
-Why did Elizabeth look at him like that? His
-mind was very much confused. Amid the confusion
-an idea presented itself to him. They
-thought that he was drunk. Well, he would
-show them, he would show them that he was not
-drunk. He stood for a moment endeavouring to
-bring the confusion of his brain into something
-like order. Then without a word he walked past
-Mary, and out of the room, walking quite steadily
-because a sober man walks steadily and he had
-to show them that he was sober.</p>
-<p>Mary stood by the door listening. &ldquo;Liz,&rdquo;
-she whispered, &ldquo;he hasn&rsquo;t gone down-stairs.&rdquo;
-Her terror returned. &ldquo;Oh, what is he doing?
-He has gone down the passage to Edward&rsquo;s
-room. Oh, do you think he&rsquo;s safe? Liz, ring
-the bell&mdash;do ring the bell.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth shook her head. She came forward
-and put her hand on Mary&rsquo;s shoulder.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Molly, it&rsquo;s all right,&rdquo; she said. She,
-too, listened, but Mary broke in on the silence
-with half a sob.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You don&rsquo;t know how he frightened me. You
-don&rsquo;t know how dreadful he was&mdash;like a great
-stupid animal. Oh, I don&rsquo;t know how he dared
-to come to me like that. And my wrist aches
-still, it does, indeed. Oh! Liz, he&rsquo;s coming back.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_117">117</div>
-<p>They heard his steps coming along the passage,
-heavy, deliberate steps. Mary moved quickly
-away from the door, but Elizabeth stood still, and
-David Blake touched her dress as he came back
-into the room and shut the door behind him. His
-hair was wet from a liberal application of cold
-water. His face was less flushed and his eyes had
-lost the vacant look. He was obviously making
-a very great effort, and as obviously Mary had no
-intention of responding to it. She stood and
-looked at him, and ceased to be afraid. This was
-not the stranger who had frightened her. This
-was David Blake again, the man whom she could
-play upon, and control. The fright in her eyes
-gave place to a dancing spark of anger.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I thought I asked you to go away,&rdquo; she said,
-and David winced at the coldness of her voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Will you please go?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If you want to apologise you can do so later&mdash;when
-you are <i>fit</i>,&rdquo; said Mary, her brows arched
-over very scornful eyes.</p>
-<p>David was still making a great effort at self-control.
-He had turned quite white, and his eyes
-had rather a dazed look.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary, don&rsquo;t,&rdquo; he said, and there was so
-much pain in his voice that Elizabeth made a half
-step towards him, and then stopped, because it
-was not any comfort of hers that he desired.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_118">118</div>
-<p>Mary&rsquo;s temper was up, and she was not to be
-checked. She meant to have her say, and if it
-hurt David, why, so much the better. He had
-given her a most dreadful fright, and he deserved
-to be hurt. It would be very good for him.
-Anger reinforced by a high moral motive is indeed
-a potent weapon. Mary wielded it unmercifully.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t&mdash;don&rsquo;t,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Oh, of course
-not. You behave disgracefully&mdash;you take advantage
-of Edward&rsquo;s being away&mdash;you come here
-drunk&mdash;and I&rsquo;m not to say a word&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Her eyes sparkled, and her head was high. She
-gave a little angry laugh, and turned towards the
-bell.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Will you go, please, or must I ring for Markham?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>At her movement, and the sound of her laughter,
-David&rsquo;s self-control gave way, suddenly and completely.
-The blood rushed violently to his head.
-He took a long step towards her, and she stopped
-where she was in sheer terror.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You laugh,&rdquo; he said, in a low tone of concentrated
-passion&mdash;&ldquo;you laugh&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_119">119</div>
-<p>Then his voice leaped into fury. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve sold
-my soul for you, and you laugh. I&rsquo;m in hell for
-you, and you laugh. I&rsquo;m drunk, and you laugh.
-My God, for that at least you shall never laugh at
-me again. By God, you shan&rsquo;t&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He stood over her for a moment, looking down
-on her with terrible eyes. Then he turned and
-went stumbling to the door, and so out, and, in
-the dead silence that followed, they heard the
-heavy front door swing to behind him.</p>
-<p>Mary was clinging to a chair.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Liz,&rdquo; she whispered faintly, but Elizabeth
-turned and went out of the room without
-a single word.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_120">120</div>
-<h2 id="c10"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER X</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">EDWARD IS PUT OUT</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">That which the frost can freeze,</p>
-<p class="t">That which is burned of the fire,</p>
-<p class="t0">Cast it down, it is nothing worth</p>
-<p class="t">In the ways of the Heart&rsquo;s Desire.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Foot or hand that offends,</p>
-<p class="t">Eye that shrinks from the goal,</p>
-<p class="t0">Cast them forth, they are nothing worth,</p>
-<p class="t">And fare with the naked soul.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Mary did not tell Edward about the scene
-with David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You know, Liz, he behaved shamefully, but
-I don&rsquo;t want there to be a quarrel with Edward,
-and it would be sure to make a quarrel. And
-then people would talk, and there&rsquo;s no knowing
-what they would say. I think it would be perfectly
-dreadful to be talked about. I&rsquo;m sure I
-can&rsquo;t think how Katie Ellerton can stand it.
-Really, every one is talking about her.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_121">121</div>
-<p>In her heart of hearts Mary was a little flattered
-at David&rsquo;s last outburst. She would not for the
-world have admitted that this was the case, but it
-certainly contributed to her resolution not to tell
-Edward.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I suppose some people would never forgive
-him,&rdquo; she said to Elizabeth, &ldquo;but I don&rsquo;t think
-that&rsquo;s right, do you? I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s at all
-Christian. I don&rsquo;t think one ought to be hard.
-He might do something desperate. I saw him go
-into Katie Ellerton&rsquo;s only this morning. I think
-I&rsquo;ll write him a little note, not referring to anything
-of course, and ask him if he won&rsquo;t come in to
-supper on Sundays. Then he&rsquo;ll see that I mean
-to forgive him, and there won&rsquo;t be any more fuss.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Sunday appeared to be quite a suitable day
-upon which to resume the r&ocirc;le of guardian angel.
-Mary felt a pleasant glow of virtue as she wrote
-her little note and sent it off to David.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_122">122</div>
-<p>David Blake did not accept either the invitation
-or the olive branch. His anger against Mary was
-still stronger than his craving for her presence.
-He wrote a polite excuse and sat all that evening
-with his eyes fixed upon a book, which he made no
-pretence of reading. He had more devils than one
-to contend with just now. David had a strong will,
-and he was putting the whole strength of it into
-fighting the other craving, the craving for drink.
-In his sudden heat of passion he had taken an
-oath that he meant to keep. He had been drunk,
-and Mary had laughed at him. Neither Mary nor
-any one else should have that cause for mocking
-laughter again, and he sat nightly with a decanter
-at his elbow.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And,&rdquo; as Mrs. Havergill remarked, &ldquo;never
-touching a mortal drop,&rdquo; because if he was to
-down the devil at all he meant to down him in a
-set battle, and not to spend his days in ignominious
-flight.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill prognosticated woe to Sarah,
-with a mournful zest.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_123">123</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Them sudden changes isn&rsquo;t &rsquo;olesome, and I
-don&rsquo;t hold with them, Sarah, my girl. One young
-man I knew, Maudsley &rsquo;is name was, he got the
-&rsquo;orrors, and died a-raving. And all through being
-cut off his drink too sudden. He broke &rsquo;is leg, and
-&rsquo;is mother, she said, &lsquo;Now I&rsquo;ll break &rsquo;im of the
-drink.&rsquo; A very strict Methody woman, were
-Jane Ann Maudsley. &lsquo;Now I&rsquo;ll break &rsquo;im,&rsquo; says
-she; and there she sits and watches &rsquo;im, and the
-pore feller &rsquo;ollering for whisky, just fair &rsquo;ollering.
-&lsquo;Gemme a drop, Mother,&rsquo; says he. &lsquo;Not I,&rsquo; says
-she. &lsquo;It&rsquo;s &rsquo;ell fire, William,&rsquo; says she. &lsquo;I&rsquo;m all
-on fire now, Mother,&rsquo; says he. &lsquo;Better burn now
-than in &rsquo;ell, William,&rsquo; says Jane Ann; and then
-the &rsquo;orrors took him, and he died. A fine, proper
-young man as ever stepped, and very sweet on me
-before I took up with Havergill,&rdquo; concluded Mrs.
-Havergill meditatively, whilst Sarah shivered,
-and wished, as she afterwards confessed to a friend,
-&ldquo;that Mrs. Havergill would be more cheerful like&mdash;just
-once in a way, for a change, as it were.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;For she do fair give a girl the &rsquo;ump sometimes,&rdquo;
-concluded Sarah, after what was for her quite a
-long speech.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill was a very buxom and comely
-person of unimpeachable respectability, but her
-fund of doleful reminiscence had depressed more
-than Sarah. David had been known to complain
-of it between jest and earnest. On one such
-occasion, at a tea-party to which Mary Chantrey
-had inveigled him, Miss Dobell ventured a mild
-protest.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But she is such a treasure. Oh, yes. Your
-dear mother always found her so.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David winced a little. His mother had not
-been dead very long then. He regarded Miss
-Dobell with gravity.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_124">124</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I have always wondered,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;whether it
-was an early apprenticeship to a ghoul which has
-imparted such a mortuary turn to Mrs. Havergill&rsquo;s
-conversation, or whether it is due to the fact of
-her having a few drops of Harvey&rsquo;s Sauce in her
-veins.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Harvey&rsquo;s Sauce?&rdquo; inquired the bewildered
-Miss Dobell.</p>
-<p>David explained in his best professional manner.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I said Harvey&rsquo;s Sauce because it is an old
-and cherished belief of mind that the same talented
-gentleman invented the sauce and composed the
-well-known &lsquo;Meditations among the Tombs.&rsquo;
-The only point upon which I feel some uncertainty
-is this: Did he compose the Meditations because
-the sauce had disagreed with him, or did he invent
-the sauce as a sort of cheerful antidote to the
-Meditations? Now which do you suppose, Miss
-Dobell?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Miss Dobell became very much fluttered.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, I&rsquo;m afraid&mdash;&rdquo; she began. &ldquo;I really had
-no idea that Harvey&rsquo;s Sauce was an unwholesome
-condiment. Yes, indeed, I fear that I cannot be
-of any great assistance, or in fact of any assistance
-at all. No, oh, no. I fear, Dr. Blake, that you
-must ask some one else who is better informed
-than myself. Oh, yes.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_125">125</div>
-<p>Afterwards she confided to Mary Chantrey
-that she had never heard of the work in question.
-&ldquo;Have you, my dear?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, never,&rdquo; said Mary, who was not greatly
-attracted by the title. Girls of two-and-twenty
-with a disposition to meditate among the tombs
-are mercifully rare.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But,&rdquo; pursued little Miss Dobell with a virtuous
-lift of the chin, &ldquo;the title has a religious
-sound&mdash;yes, quite a religious sound. I hope, oh,
-yes, indeed, I hope that Dr. Blake has no dreadful
-sceptical opinions. They are so very shocking,&rdquo;
-and Mary said, &ldquo;Yes, they are, and I hope
-not, too.&rdquo; Even in those days she was a little
-inclined to play at being David&rsquo;s guardian angel.</p>
-<p>Those days were two years old now. Sometimes
-it seemed to David that they belonged to
-another life.</p>
-<p>Meanwhile he had his devil to fight. In the
-days that followed he fought the devil, and beat
-him, but without either pride or pleasure in the
-victory, for, deprived of stimulant, he fell again into
-the black pit of depression. Insomnia stood by
-his pillow and made the nights longer and more
-dreadful than the longest, gloomiest day.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_126">126</div>
-<p>Mary met him in the High Street one day, and
-was really shocked at his looks. She reproached
-herself for neglecting him, smiled upon him
-sweetly, and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, David, do come and see us. Edward
-will be so pleased. He got a parcel of butterflies
-from Java last week, and he would so much like
-you to see them. He was saying so only this
-morning.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David made a suitable response. His anger was
-gone. Mary was Mary. If she were unkind,
-she was still Mary. If she were trivial, foolish,
-cruel, what did it matter? Her voice made his
-blood leap, her eyes were like wine, her hand
-played on his pulses, and he asked nothing more
-than to feel that soft touch, and answer to it, with
-every high-strung nerve. He despised her a
-little, and himself a good deal, and when a man&rsquo;s
-passion for a woman is mingled with contempt, it
-goes but ill with his soul.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_127">127</div>
-<p>That evening saw him again in his old place.
-He came and went as of old, and, as of old, his
-fever burned, and burning, fretted away both
-health and self-respect. He slept less and less,
-and if sleep came at all, it was so thin, so haunted
-by ill dreams, that waking was a positive relief.
-At least when he waked he was still sane, but in
-those dreams there lurked an impending horror
-that might at any moment burst the gloom, and
-stare him mad. It was madness that he feared in
-the days which linked that endless procession of
-long, unendurable nights. It was about this time
-that he began to be haunted by a strange vision,
-which, like the impending terror, lay just beyond
-the bounds of consciousness. As on the one side
-madness lurked, so on the other there were hints,
-stray gleams, as it were, from some place of peace.
-And the strange thing about it was, that at these
-moments a conviction would seize him that this
-place was his by right. His the deep waters of
-comfort, and his the wide, unbroken fields of peace,
-his&mdash;but lost.</p>
-<p>Yet during all this time David went about
-his work, and if his patients thought him looking
-ill, they had no reason to complain either of inefficiency
-or neglect. His work was in itself a
-stimulant to him, a stimulant which braced his
-nerves and cleared his brain during the time that
-he was under its influence, and then resulted,
-like all stimulants, in a reaction of fatigue and
-nervous strain.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_128">128</div>
-<p>In the first days of March, Elizabeth Chantrey
-had a visit from old Dr. Bull. He sat and had tea
-with her in her little brown room, and talked about
-the mild spring weather and the show of buds
-upon the apple tree in his small square of garden.
-He also told her that Mrs. Codrington had three
-broods of chickens out, a fact of which Elizabeth
-had already been informed by Mrs. Codrington
-herself. When Dr. Bull had finished dealing with
-the early chickens, he asked for another cup of
-tea, took a good pull at it, wiped his square beard
-with a very brilliant pocket-handkerchief in
-which the prevailing colours were sky-blue and
-orange, and remarked abruptly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why don&rsquo;t you get David Blake to go away,
-hey?&mdash;hey?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth frowned a little. This was getting
-to close quarters.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I?&rdquo; she said, with a note of gentle surprise in
-her voice.</p>
-<p>Dr. Bull was quite ready for her. &ldquo;You is
-the second person plural&mdash;or used to be when I
-went to school. You, and Mary, and Edward,
-you&rsquo;re his friends, aren&rsquo;t you?&mdash;and two of you
-are women, so he&rsquo;ll have to be polite, hey? Can&rsquo;t
-bite your heads off the way he bit off mine, when
-I suggested that a holiday &rsquo;ud do him good. And
-he wants a holiday, hey?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth nodded.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_129">129</div>
-<p>&ldquo;He ought to go away,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He&rsquo;ll break down if he doesn&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said Dr.
-Bull. He finished his cup of tea, and held it out.
-&ldquo;Yes, another, please. You make him go, and
-he&rsquo;ll come back a new man. What&rsquo;s the good
-of being a woman if you can&rsquo;t manage a man
-for his good?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth thought the matter over for an hour,
-and then she spoke to Edward.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He won&rsquo;t go,&rdquo; said Edward, with a good deal
-of irritation. &ldquo;I asked him some little time ago
-whether he wasn&rsquo;t going to take a holiday. Now
-what is there in that to put any one&rsquo;s back up?
-And yet, I do assure you, he looked at me as if
-I had insulted him. Really, Elizabeth, I can&rsquo;t
-make out what has happened to David. He
-never used to be like this. And he comes here too
-often, a great deal too often. I shall have to tell
-him so, and then there&rsquo;ll be a row, and I simply
-hate rows. But really, a man in his state,
-always under one&rsquo;s feet&mdash;it gets on one&rsquo;s
-nerves.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_130">130</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward is getting dreadfully put out,&rdquo; said
-Mary the same evening. She had come down to
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s room to borrow a book, and lingered
-for a moment or two, standing by the fire and
-holding one foot to the blaze. It was a night of
-sudden frost after the mild spring day.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How cold it has turned,&rdquo; said Mary. &ldquo;Yes,
-I really don&rsquo;t know what to do. If Edward goes
-on being tiresome and jealous&rdquo;&mdash;she bridled a
-little as she spoke&mdash;&ldquo;if he goes on&mdash;well, David
-will just have to stay away, and I&rsquo;m afraid he will
-feel it. I am afraid it may be bad for him. You
-know I have always hoped that I was being of
-some use to David&mdash;I have always wanted to
-have an influence&mdash;a good influence does make
-such a difference, doesn&rsquo;t it? I&rsquo;ve never flirted
-with David&mdash;I really haven&rsquo;t&mdash;you know that,
-Liz?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Elizabeth slowly. &ldquo;You haven&rsquo;t
-flirted with him, Molly, my dear, but I think you
-are in rather a difficult position for being a good
-influence. You see, David is in love with you,
-and I think it would be better for him if he didn&rsquo;t
-see you quite so often.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary&rsquo;s colour rose.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_131">131</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I can&rsquo;t help his being&mdash;fond of me,&rdquo; she said,
-with a slight air of offended virtue. &ldquo;I am sure
-I don&rsquo;t know what you mean by my not being
-good for him. If it weren&rsquo;t for me he might be
-drinking himself to death at this very moment.
-You know how he was going on, and I am sure
-you can&rsquo;t have forgotten how dreadful he was that
-night he came here. I let him see how shocked
-I was. I know you were angry with me, and I
-thought it very unreasonable of you, because I
-did it on purpose, and it stopped him. You may
-say what you like, Liz, but it stopped him. Mrs.
-Havergill told Markham&mdash;yes, I know you don&rsquo;t
-think I ought to talk to Markham about David,
-but she began about it herself, and she is really
-interested, and thought I would like to know&mdash;well,
-she says David has never touched a drop
-since. Mrs. Havergill told her so. So you see,
-Liz, I haven&rsquo;t always been as bad for David as
-you seem to think. I don&rsquo;t know if you want
-him to go and marry Katie Ellerton, just out of
-pique. She&rsquo;s running after him worse than ever&mdash;I
-really do wonder she isn&rsquo;t ashamed, and if
-David&rsquo;s friends cast him off, well, she&rsquo;ll just snap
-him up, and then I should think you&rsquo;d be sorry.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_132">132</div>
-<p>Elizabeth leaned her chin in her hand, and was
-silent for a moment. Then she said: &ldquo;Molly, dear,
-why should we try and prevent David from going
-to see Katie Ellerton? He is in love with you,
-and it is very bad for him. If he saw less of you
-for a time it would give him a chance of getting
-over it. David is very unhappy just now. No
-one can fail to see that. He wants what you can&rsquo;t
-give him&mdash;rest, companionship, a home. If Katie
-cares for him, and can give him these things, let
-her give them. We have no business to stand in
-the way. Don&rsquo;t you see that?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth spoke sweetly and persuasively. She
-kept her eyes on her sister&rsquo;s face, and saw there,
-first, offence, and then interest&mdash;the birth of a
-new idea.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, well&mdash;if you don&rsquo;t mind,&rdquo; said Mary.
-&ldquo;You are nearly as tiresome as Edward and Edward
-has been most dreadfully tiresome. I told
-him so. I said, &lsquo;Edward, I really never knew you
-could be so tiresome,&rsquo; and it seemed to make him
-<i>worse</i>. I think, you know, that he is afraid that
-people will talk if David goes on coming here. Of
-course, that&rsquo;s absurd, I told him it was absurd. I
-said, &lsquo;Why, how on earth is any one to know that
-it isn&rsquo;t Elizabeth he comes to see?&rsquo; And then,
-Edward became really violent. I didn&rsquo;t know he
-could be, but he was. He simply plunged up
-and down the room, and said: &lsquo;If he wants to see
-Elizabeth, then in Heaven&rsquo;s name let him see
-Elizabeth. Let him <i>marry</i> Elizabeth.&rsquo; Oh, you
-mustn&rsquo;t mind, Liz,&rdquo; as Elizabeth&rsquo;s head went up,
-&ldquo;it was only because he was so cross, and you and
-David are such old friends. There&rsquo;s nothing for
-you to <i>mind</i>.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_133">133</div>
-<p>She paused, stole a quick glance at Elizabeth,
-then looked away, and said in a tentative voice,
-&ldquo;Liz, why don&rsquo;t you marry David?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because he doesn&rsquo;t want me to, Molly,&rdquo;
-said Elizabeth. Her voice was very proud, and
-her head very high.</p>
-<p>Mary half put out her hand, and drew it back
-again. She knew this mood of Elizabeth&rsquo;s, and
-it was one that silenced even her ready tongue.
-She was the little sister again for a moment, and
-Elizabeth the mother, sister, and ideal&mdash;all in one.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, I&rsquo;m sorry,&rdquo; she said in quite a small,
-humble voice.</p>
-<p>When she had gone, Elizabeth sat on by the
-fire. She did not move for a long time. When
-she did move, it was to put up a hand to her face,
-which was wet with many hot, slow tears. Pride
-dies hard, and hurts to the very last.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_134">134</div>
-<h2 id="c11"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XI</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">FORGOTTEN WAYS</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">I have forgotten all the ways of sleep,</p>
-<p class="t">The endless, windless silence of my dream,</p>
-<p class="t">The milk-white poppy meadows and the stream,</p>
-<p class="t0">The dreaming water soft and still and deep&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t">I have forgotten how that water flows,</p>
-<p class="t">I have forgotten how the poppy grows,</p>
-<p class="t0">I have forgotten all the ways of sleep.</p>
-</div>
-<p>It was on an afternoon, a few days later, that
-David came into the hall of the Mottisfonts&rsquo;
-house.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Lord save us, he do look bad,&rdquo; was the
-thought in Markham&rsquo;s mind as she let him in.
-Aloud she said that she thought Mrs. Mottisfont
-was just going out. As she spoke, Mary came
-down the stairs, bringing with her a sweet scent
-of violets.</p>
-<p>Mary was very obviously going out. She wore
-a white cloth dress, with dark furs, and there was
-a large bunch of mauve and white violets at her
-breast. She looked a little vexed when she saw
-David.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_135">135</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I am just going out. I am
-so sorry, but I am afraid I must. Bazaars are
-tiresome things, but one must go to them, and
-I promised Mrs. Codrington that I would be
-there early. Elizabeth is in. She&rsquo;ll give you
-some tea. Markham, will you please tell Miss
-Elizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David came forward as she was speaking.
-There was a window above the front door, and as
-he came out of the shadow, and the light fell
-on his face, he saw Mary start a little. Her
-expression changed, and she said in a hesitating
-manner:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Of course, Elizabeth may be busy, or she may
-be going out&mdash;I really don&rsquo;t know. Perhaps you
-had better come another day, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He read her clearly enough. She thought that
-he had been drinking, and hesitated to leave him
-with her sister. He had been about to say that he
-could not stop, but her suspicion raised a devil of
-obstinacy in him, and as Elizabeth came out of her
-room by way of the dining-room, he advanced to
-meet her, saying:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Will you give me some tea, Elizabeth, or are
-you too busy?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_136">136</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, come here,&rdquo; said Mary quickly. Her
-colour had risen at David&rsquo;s tone. She drew
-Elizabeth a little aside. &ldquo;Liz, you&rsquo;d better not,&rdquo;
-she whispered, &ldquo;he looks so queer.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nonsense, Molly.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I wish you wouldn&rsquo;t&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;My dear Molly, are you going to begin to
-chaperone me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary tossed her head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, if you don&rsquo;t <i>mind</i>,&rdquo; she said angrily, and
-went out, leaving Elizabeth with an odd sense of
-anticipation.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth found David standing before the
-writing-table, and looking at himself in the little
-Dutch mirror which hung above it. He turned
-as she came in.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said bitterly, &ldquo;has Mary renounced
-the Bazaar in order to stay and protect you?
-I&rsquo;m not really as dangerous as she seems to think,
-though I am willing to admit that I am not exactly
-ornamental. Give me some tea, and I&rsquo;ll not
-inflict myself on you for long.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth smiled.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_137">137</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You know very well that I like having you
-here,&rdquo; she said in her friendly voice. &ldquo;Look at
-my flowers. Aren&rsquo;t they well forward? I really
-think that everything is a fortnight before its
-time this year. No, not that chair, David. This
-one is much more comfortable.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Markham was coming in with the tea as Elizabeth
-spoke. David sat silent. He watched the
-tiny flame of the spirit-lamp, the mingled flicker
-of firelight and daylight upon the silver, and the
-thin old china with its branching pattern of purple
-and yellow flowers. He drank as many cups of
-tea as Elizabeth gave him, and she talked a little
-in a desultory manner, until he had finished, and
-then sat in a silence that was not awkward, but
-companionable.</p>
-<p>David made no effort to move, or speak. This
-was a pleasant room of Elizabeth&rsquo;s. The brown
-panels were warm in the firelight. They made a
-soft darkness that had nothing gloomy about it,
-and the room was full of flowers. The great brown
-crock full of daffodils stood on the window-ledge,
-and on the table which filled the angle between the
-window and the fireplace was another, in which
-stood a number of the tall yellow tulips which
-smell like Mar&eacute;chal-Niel roses. Elizabeth&rsquo;s dress
-was brown, too. It was made of some soft stuff
-that made no sound when she moved. The room
-was very still, and very sweet, and the sweetness
-and the stillness were very grateful to David
-Blake. The thought came to him suddenly, that
-it was many years since he had sat like this
-in Elizabeth&rsquo;s room, and the silence had companioned
-them. Years ago he had been there
-often enough, and they had talked, read, argued,
-or been still, just as the spirit of the moment
-dictated. They had been good comrades, then,
-in the old days&mdash;the happy days of youth.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_138">138</div>
-<p>He looked across at Elizabeth and said
-suddenly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You are a very restful woman, Elizabeth.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She smiled at him without moving, and
-answered:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I am glad if I rest you, David&mdash;I think you
-need rest.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You sit so still. No one else sits so still.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laughed softly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That sounds as if I were a very inert sort of
-person,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<p>David frowned a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, it&rsquo;s not that. It is strength&mdash;force&mdash;stability.
-Only strong things keep still like that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>This was so like the old David, that it took
-Elizabeth back ten years at a leap. She was
-silent for a moment, gathering her courage. Then
-she said:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_139">139</div>
-<p>&ldquo;David, you do need rest, and a change. Why
-don&rsquo;t you go away?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She had thought he would be angry, but he
-was not angry. Instead, he answered her as the
-David of ten years ago might have done, with
-a misquotation.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is the good of a change? It&rsquo;s a case
-of&mdash;I myself am my own Heaven and Hell&rdquo;;
-and his voice was the voice of a very weary
-man.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes dwelt on him with a deep considering
-look.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, that&rsquo;s true,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;One has to
-find oneself. But it is easier to find oneself in
-clear country than in a fog. This place is not
-good for you, David. When I said you wanted
-a change, I didn&rsquo;t mean just for a time&mdash;I
-meant altogether. Why don&rsquo;t you go right
-away&mdash;leave it all behind you, and start
-again?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He looked at her as if he might be angry, if he
-were not too tired.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I won&rsquo;t run away,&rdquo; he said, with his
-voice back on the harsh note which had become
-habitual.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_140">140</div>
-<p>There was a pause. Elizabeth heard her own
-heart beat. The room was getting darker. A
-log fell in the fire.</p>
-<p>Then David laughed bitterly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That sounded very fine, but it&rsquo;s just a flam.
-The truth is, not that I won&rsquo;t run away, but that
-I can&rsquo;t. I&rsquo;ve not got the energy. I&rsquo;m three
-parts broke, and it&rsquo;s all I can do to keep going at
-all. I couldn&rsquo;t start fresh, because I&rsquo;ve got nothing
-to start with. If I could sleep for a week it
-would give me a chance, but I can&rsquo;t sleep. Skeffington
-has taken me in hand now, and out of
-three drugs he has given me, two made me feel
-as if I were going mad, and the third had no effect
-at all. I&rsquo;m full of bromide now. It makes me
-sleepy, but it doesn&rsquo;t make me sleep. You
-don&rsquo;t know what it&rsquo;s like. My brain is drunk
-with sleep&mdash;marshy with it, water-logged&mdash;but
-there&rsquo;s always one point of consciousness left
-high and dry&mdash;tortured.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Can&rsquo;t you sleep at all?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I suppose I do, or I should be mad in real
-earnest. Do I look mad, Elizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She looked at him. His face was very white,
-except for a flushed patch high up on either cheek.
-His eyes were bloodshot and strained, but there
-was no madness in them.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_141">141</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Is that what you are afraid of?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, my God, yes,&rdquo; said David Blake, speaking
-only just above his breath.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think you need be afraid. I don&rsquo;t,
-really, David. You look very tired. You look
-as if you wanted sleep more than anything else in
-the world.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She spoke very gently. &ldquo;Will you let me send
-you to sleep? I think I can.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Does one ask a man who is dying of thirst if
-one may give him a drink?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then I may?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If you can&mdash;but&mdash;&rdquo; He broke off as Markham
-came in to clear away the tea. Elizabeth
-began to talk of trivialities. For a minute or two
-Markham came and went, but when she had taken
-away the tray, and the door was shut, there was
-silence again.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth had turned her chair a little. She
-sat looking into the fire. She was not making
-pictures among the embers, as she sometimes
-did. Her eyes had a brooding look. Her honey-coloured
-hair looked like pale gold against the
-brown panelling behind her. She sat very still.
-David found it pleasant to watch her, pleasant to
-be here.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_142">142</div>
-<p>His whole head was stiff and numb with lack of
-sleep. Every muscle seemed stretched and every
-nerve taut. There was a dull, continuous pain at
-the back of his head. Thought seemed muffled,
-his faculties clogged. Two thirds of his brain
-was submerged, but in the remaining third consciousness
-flared like a flickering will-o&rsquo;-the-wisp
-above a marsh.</p>
-<p>David lay back in his chair. This was a peaceful
-place, a peaceful room. He had not meant to
-stay so long, but he had no desire to move. Slowly,
-slowly the tide of sleep mounted in him. Not, as
-often lately, with a sudden flooding wave which
-retreated again as suddenly, and left his brain
-reeling, but steadily, quietly, like the still rising
-of some peaceful, moon-drawn sea. He seemed
-to see that lifting tide. It was as deep and still as
-those still waters of which another David wrote.
-It rose and rose&mdash;the will-o&rsquo;-the-wisp of consciousness
-ceased its tormented flickering, and he slept.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth never turned her head. She heard
-his breathing deepen, until it was very slow and
-steady. There was no other sound except when
-an ember dropped. The light failed. Soon there
-was no light but the glow of the fire.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_143">143</div>
-<h2 id="c12"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE GREY WOLF</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">I thought I saw the Grey Wolf&rsquo;s eyes</p>
-<p class="t">Look through the bars of night;</p>
-<p class="t0">They drank the silver of the moon,</p>
-<p class="t">And the stars&rsquo; pale chrysolite.</p>
-<p class="t0">From star by star they took their toll,</p>
-<p class="t0">And through the drained and darkened night</p>
-<p class="t">They sought my darkened soul.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_144">144</div>
-<p>David slept for a couple of hours, and that
-night he slept more than he had done for
-weeks. Next night, however, there returned the
-old strain, the old yearning for oblivion, the old
-inability to compass it. In the week that followed
-David passed through a number of strange, mental
-phases. After that first sound sleep had relieved
-the tension of his brain, he told himself that he
-owed it to the delayed action of the bromide
-Skeffington had given him. But as the strain
-returned, though reason held him to this opinion
-still, out of the deep undercurrents of consciousness
-there rose before him a vision of Elizabeth,
-with the gift of sleep in her hand. He passed into
-a state of conflict, and out of this conflict there
-grew up a pride that would owe nothing to a
-woman, a resistance that called itself reason and
-independence. And then, as the desire for sleep
-dominated everything, conflict merged into a desire
-that Elizabeth should heal him, should make
-him sleep. And all through the week he did not
-think of Mary at all. The craving for her had
-been swallowed up by that other craving. Mary
-had raised this fever, but it had now reached a
-point at which he had become unconscious of her.
-It was Elizabeth who filled his thoughts. Not
-Elizabeth the woman, but Elizabeth the bearer
-of that gift of sleep. But this, too, was a phase,
-and had its reaction.</p>
-<p>Towards the end of the week he finished his
-afternoon round by going to see an old Irishwoman,
-who had been in the hospital for an operation,
-and had since been dismissed as incurable.
-She was a plucky old soul, and a cheerful, but to-day
-David found her in a downcast mood.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Sure, it&rsquo;s not the pain I&rsquo;d be minding if I
-could get my sleep,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Couldn&rsquo;t ye
-be after putting the least taste of something in
-my medicine, then, Doctor, dear?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_145">145</div>
-<p>David had his finger on her pulse. He patted
-her hand kindly as he laid it down.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Come, now, Mrs. Halloran,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;when
-I gave you that last bottle of medicine you said
-it made you sleep beautifully.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Just for a bit it did,&rdquo; said Judy Halloran.
-&ldquo;Sure, it was only for a bit, and now it&rsquo;s the
-devil&rsquo;s own nights I&rsquo;m having. Couldn&rsquo;t you be
-making it the least taste stronger, then?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She looked at David rather piteously.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, we must see,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;You finish
-that bottle, and then I&rsquo;ll see what I can do for
-you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mrs. Halloran closed her eyes for a minute.
-Then she opened them rather suddenly, shot a
-quick look at David, and said with an eager note
-in her voice:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;They do be saying that Miss Chantrey can
-make anny one sleep. There was a friend of mine
-was after telling me about it. It was her daughter
-that had the sleep gone from her, and after Miss
-Chantrey came to see her, it was the fine nights
-she was having, and it&rsquo;s the strong woman she
-is now, entirely.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David got up rather abruptly.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_146">146</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Come, now, Mrs. Halloran,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you
-know as well as I do that that&rsquo;s all nonsense. But
-I daresay a visit from Miss Chantrey would cheer
-you up quite a lot. Would you like to see her?
-Shall I ask her to come in one day?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;She&rsquo;d be kindly welcome,&rdquo; said Judy Halloran.</p>
-<p>David went home with the old conflict raging
-again. Skeffington had been urging him to see a
-specialist. He had always refused. But now,
-quite suddenly, he wired for an appointment.</p>
-<p>He came down from town on a dark, rainy afternoon,
-feeling that he had built up a barrier between
-himself and superstition.</p>
-<p>An hour later he was at the Mottisfonts&rsquo; door,
-asking Markham if Mary was at home. Mary
-had gone out to tea, said Markham, and then
-volunteered, &ldquo;Miss Elizabeth is in, sir.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David told himself that he had not intended
-to ask for Elizabeth. Why should he ask for
-Elizabeth? He could, however, hardly explain to
-Markham that it was not Elizabeth he wished to
-see, so he came in, and was somehow very glad
-to come.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_147">147</div>
-<p>Elizabeth had been reading aloud to herself.
-As he stood at the door he could hear the rise and
-fall of her voice. It was an old trick of hers.
-Ten years ago he had often stood on the threshold
-and listened, until rebuked by Elizabeth for
-eavesdropping.</p>
-<p>He came in, and she said just in the old voice:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You were listening, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>But it was the David of to-day who responded
-wearily, &ldquo;I beg your pardon, Elizabeth. Did
-you mind?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, of course not. Sit down, David. What
-have you been doing with yourself?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Instead of sitting down he walked to the window
-and looked out. The sky was one even grey,
-and, though the rain had ceased, heavy drops
-were falling from the roof and denting the earth
-in Elizabeth&rsquo;s window boxes, which were full of
-daffodils in bud. After a moment he turned
-and said impatiently, &ldquo;How dark this room is!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth divined in him a reaction, a fear of
-what she had done, and might do. She knew
-very well why he had stayed away. Without
-replying she put out her hand and touched a
-switch on the wall. A tall lamp with a yellow
-shade sprang into view, and the whole room became
-filled with a soft, warm light.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_148">148</div>
-<p>David left the window, but still he did not sit.
-For a while he walked up and down restlessly,
-but at length came to a standstill between Elizabeth
-and the fire. He was so close to her that she
-had only to put out her hand and it would have
-touched his. He stood looking, now at the miniatures
-on the wall, now at the fire which burned
-with a steady red glow. He was half turned
-from Elizabeth, but she could see his face. It
-was strained and thin. The flesh had fallen
-away, leaving the great bones prominent.</p>
-<p>It was Elizabeth who broke the silence, and
-she said what she had not meant to say.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, are you better? Are you sleeping?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said shortly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And you won&rsquo;t let me help?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t say so.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Did you think I didn&rsquo;t know?&rdquo; Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-voice was very sad.</p>
-<p>They had fallen suddenly upon an intimate note.
-It was a note that he had never touched with
-Mary. That they should be talking like this
-filled him with a dazed surprise. He as well as
-she was taking it for granted that she had given
-him sleep, and could give him sleep again.</p>
-<p>He gave himself a sudden shake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m going away,&rdquo; he said in a harder
-voice.</p>
-<p>There was a pause.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_149">149</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m glad,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, and then there
-was silence again.</p>
-<p>This time it was David who spoke, and he
-spoke in the hot, insistent tones of a man who
-argues a losing case.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;One can&rsquo;t go on not sleeping. That is what
-I said to old Wyatt Byng to-day.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Sir Wyatt Byng?&rdquo; said Elizabeth quickly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;I saw him. Skeffington would have me
-see him, but what&rsquo;s the use? He swears I shall
-sleep, if I take the stuff he&rsquo;s given me&mdash;the latest
-French fad&mdash;but I don&rsquo;t sleep. I seem to have
-lost the way&mdash;and one can&rsquo;t go on.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He paused, and then said frowning:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s so odd&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Odd?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;so odd&mdash;sleep. Such an odd thing. It
-was so easy once. Now it&rsquo;s so difficult that it
-can&rsquo;t be done. Why? No one knows. No
-one knows what sleep is&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>His voice trailed away. He was strung like a
-wire that is ready to snap, and on the borders of
-consciousness, just out of sight, something waited;
-he turned his head sharply, as if the thing he
-dreaded might be there&mdash;behind him&mdash;in the
-shadow.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_150">150</div>
-<p>Instead, he saw Elizabeth in a golden light like
-a halo. It swam before his tired eyes, a glow with
-a rainbow edge. Out of the heart of it she looked
-at him with serious, tender eyes.</p>
-<p>Beyond, in the gloom, there lurked such a
-horror as made him catch his breath, and here at
-his side&mdash;in this room, peace, safety, and sleep&mdash;sleep,
-the one thing in heaven or earth desired
-and desirable.</p>
-<p>A sort of shudder passed over him, and he
-repeated his own last words in a low, altered voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;One <i>can&rsquo;t</i> go on. Something must give way.
-Sometimes I feel as if it might give now&mdash;at any
-moment. Then there&rsquo;s madness&mdash;when one can&rsquo;t
-sleep. Am I going mad, Elizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth caught his hand and held it. He was
-so near that the impulse carried her away. Her
-clasp was strong, warm, and vital.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, my dear, no,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<p>Then with a catch in her voice:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, David&mdash;let me help you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He shook his head in a slow, considering
-manner.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No&mdash;there would be only one way&mdash;and that&rsquo;s
-not fair.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What isn&rsquo;t fair, David?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_151">151</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You&mdash;to marry&mdash;me,&rdquo; he said, still in that
-slow, considering way. &ldquo;You know, Elizabeth,
-I can&rsquo;t think very well. My head is all to pieces.
-But it&rsquo;s not fair, and I can&rsquo;t take your help&mdash;&rdquo;
-He broke off frowning.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, it has nothing to do with that sort of
-thing,&rdquo; said Elizabeth very seriously. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s
-only what I would do for any one.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She was shaken to the depths, but she kept her
-voice low and steady.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;it has&mdash;one can&rsquo;t take like that&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I&rsquo;m a woman? Just because I&rsquo;m
-a woman?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth looked up quickly and spoke quickly,
-because she knew that if she stopped to think she
-would not speak at all.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And if we were married?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then it would be different,&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<p>His voice was not like his usual voice. It
-sounded like the voice of a man who was puzzled,
-who was trying to recall something of which he
-has seen glimpses. Was it something from the
-past, or something from the future?</p>
-<p>Elizabeth got up and stood as he was standing&mdash;one
-hand on the oak shelf above the fireplace
-the other clenched at her side.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_152">152</div>
-<p>&ldquo;David, are you asking me to marry you?&rdquo;
-she said.</p>
-<p>He raised his head, half startled. The silence
-that followed her question seemed to fill the room
-and shake it. His will shook too, drawn this way
-and that by forces that were above and beyond
-them both.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth did not look at him. She did not
-know what he would answer, and all their lives
-hung on that answer of his. She held her breath,
-and it seemed to her that she was holding her
-will too. She was suddenly, overpoweringly conscious
-of her own strength, her own vital force
-and power. If she let this force go out to David
-now&mdash;in his weakness! It was the greatest temptation
-that she had ever known, and, after one
-shuddering moment, she turned from it in horror.
-She kept her will, her strength, her vital powers in
-a strong grip. No influence of hers must touch or
-sway him now. Her heart stopped beating. Her
-very life seemed to be suspended. Then she heard
-David say:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Would you marry me, Elizabeth?&rdquo; His tone
-was a wondering one. It broke the tension. She
-turned her head a little and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;if you needed me.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_153">153</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Need&mdash;need&mdash;I think I should sleep&mdash;and if
-I don&rsquo;t sleep I shall go mad. But, perhaps I shall
-go mad anyhow. You must not marry me if I
-am going mad.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You won&rsquo;t go mad.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You think not? There is something that
-shakes all the time. It never stops. It goes on
-always. I think that is why I don&rsquo;t sleep. But
-when I am with you it seems to stop. I don&rsquo;t
-know why, but it does seem to stop, just whilst I
-am with you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It will stop altogether when you get your
-sleep back.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The half-dreamy note went out of his voice,
-and the note of intimate self-revealing. Elizabeth
-noticed the change at once.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;When do you go away, and where do you go?&rdquo;
-she asked.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Switzerland, I think. I could get away by
-the 3rd of April.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_154">154</div>
-<p>David was trying to think, but his head was
-very tired. He must go away. He must have a
-change. They all said that. But it was no use
-for him to go away if he did not sleep. He must
-have sleep. But if Elizabeth were with him he
-would sleep. Elizabeth must come with him. If
-they were married at once she could come with
-him, and then he would sleep. But it was so soon.
-He spoke his thought aloud.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You wouldn&rsquo;t marry me first, I suppose?
-You wouldn&rsquo;t come with me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; said Elizabeth quietly. The
-quietness hid the greatest effort of her life. &ldquo;If
-you want me, I will come. I only want to help
-you, and if I can help you best that way&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David let himself sink into a chair, and began to
-talk a little of plans, wearily and with an effort.
-He had to force his brain to make it work at all.
-All these details, these plans, these conventions
-seemed to him irrelevant and burdensome.</p>
-<p>He got up to go as the clock struck seven.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth put out her hand to him as she had
-always done.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And you will let me help you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, not yet&mdash;not till afterwards,&rdquo; he
-said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It makes no difference, David, you know.
-It is just what I would do for any one who wanted
-it&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He shook his head. There was a reaction upon
-him, a withdrawal.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_155">155</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Not yet&mdash;not till afterwards. I&rsquo;ll give
-old Byng&rsquo;s stuff a chance,&rdquo; he said obstinately,
-and then went out with just a bare good-night.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_156">156</div>
-<h2 id="c13"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XIII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">MARCH GOES OUT</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">I thought I saw the Grey Wolf&rsquo;s eyes.</p>
-<p class="t">The sun was gone away,</p>
-<p class="t0">Most unendurably gone down,</p>
-<p class="t">With all delights of day.</p>
-<p class="t0">I cried aloud for light, and all</p>
-<p class="t0">The light was dead and done away,</p>
-<p class="t">And no one answered to my call.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_157">157</div>
-<p>Edward was, perhaps, the person best pleased
-at the news of Elizabeth&rsquo;s engagement. He
-had been, as Mary phrased it, &ldquo;very much put
-out.&rdquo; Put out, in fact, to the point of wondering
-whether he could possibly nerve himself to tell
-David that he came too often to the house. He
-had an affection for David, and he was under an
-obligation to him, but there were limits&mdash;during
-the last fortnight he had very frequently explained
-to Mary that there were limits. Whether he
-would ever have got as far as explaining this to
-David remains amongst the lesser mysteries of
-life. Mary did not take the explanation in what
-Edward considered at all a proper spirit. She
-bridled, looked very pretty, talked about good
-influences, and was much offended when Edward
-lost his temper. He lost it to the extent of consigning
-good influences to a place with which they
-are not usually connected, though the way to it is
-said to be paved with good intentions. Mary had
-a temper, too. It took her out of the room with a
-bang of the door, but she subsequently cried herself
-sick because Edward had sworn at her.</p>
-<p>There was a reconciliation, but Edward was not
-as penitent as Mary thought he should have been.
-David became a sore point with both of them, and
-Edward, at least, was unfeignedly pleased at what
-he considered a happy solution of the difficulty.
-He was fond of Elizabeth, but it would certainly
-be more agreeable to have the whole house at his
-own disposal. He had always thought that Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-little brown room would be the very place
-for his collections. He fell to estimating the
-probable cost of lining the whole wall-space with
-cabinets.</p>
-<p>Mary was not quite as pleased as Edward.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_158">158</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You know, Liz,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I am very <i>glad</i>
-that David should marry. I think he wants a
-home. But I don&rsquo;t think you ought to marry him
-until he&rsquo;s <i>better</i>. He looks dreadful. And a
-fortnight&rsquo;s engagement&mdash;I can&rsquo;t <i>think</i> what people
-will say&mdash;one ought to consider that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly, you are too young for the part of
-Mrs. Grundy,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, laughing.</p>
-<p>Mary coloured and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s all very well, Liz, but people will talk.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, Molly, and if they do? What is there
-for them to say? It is all very simple, really.
-No one can help seeing how ill David is, and I think
-every one would understand my wanting to be
-with him. People are really quite human and
-understanding if they are taken the right way.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But a fortnight,&rdquo; said Mary, frowning. &ldquo;Why
-Liz, you will not be able to get your things!&rdquo;
-And she was shocked beyond words when Elizabeth
-betrayed a complete indifference as to
-whether she had any new things at all.</p>
-<p>The wedding was fixed for the 3rd of April, and
-the days passed. David made the necessary
-arrangements with a growing sense of detachment.
-The matter was out of his hands.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_159">159</div>
-<p>For a week the new drug gave him sleep, a sleep
-full of brilliant dreams, strange flashes of light,
-and bursts of unbearable colour. He woke from
-it with a blinding headache and a sense of strain
-beyond that induced by insomnia. Towards the
-end of the week he stopped taking the drug. The
-headache had become unendurable. This state
-was worse than the last.</p>
-<p>On the last day of March he came to Elizabeth
-and told her that their marriage must be
-deferred.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Ronnie Ellerton is very ill,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t
-go away.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But David, you <i>must</i>&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He shook his head. The obstinacy of illness
-was upon him.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I can&rsquo;t&mdash;and I won&rsquo;t,&rdquo; he declared. Then,
-as if realising that he owed her some explanation,
-he added:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He&rsquo;s so spoilt. Why are women such fools?
-He&rsquo;s never been made to do anything he didn&rsquo;t
-like. He won&rsquo;t take food or medicine, and I&rsquo;m
-the only person who has the least authority over
-him. And she&rsquo;s half crazy with anxiety, poor
-soul. I have promised not to go until he&rsquo;s round
-the corner. It&rsquo;s only a matter of a day or two,
-so we must just put it off.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth put her hand on his arm.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_160">160</div>
-<p>&ldquo;David, we need not put off the marriage,&rdquo;
-she said in her most ordinary tones. &ldquo;You see,
-if we are married, we could start off as soon as
-the child was better.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She had it in her mind that unless David would
-let her help him soon, he would be past helping.</p>
-<p>He looked at her indifferently. &ldquo;You will stay
-here?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not unless you wish,&rdquo; she answered.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I? Oh! it is for you to say.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was no interest in his tone. If he thought
-of anything it was of Ronnie Ellerton. A complete
-apathy had descended upon him. Nothing
-was real, nothing mattered. Health&mdash;sanity&mdash;rest&mdash;these
-were only names. They meant nothing.
-Only when he turned to his work, his
-brain still moved with the precision of a machine,
-regularly, correctly.</p>
-<p>He did not tell her either then or ever, that
-Katie Ellerton had broken down and spoken
-bitter words about his marriage.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve nothing but Ronnie&mdash;nothing but Ronnie&mdash;and
-you will go away with her and he will die.
-I know he will die if you go. Can&rsquo;t she spare
-you just for two days&mdash;or three&mdash;to save Ronnie&rsquo;s
-life? Promise me you won&rsquo;t go till he is safe&mdash;promise&mdash;promise.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_161">161</div>
-<p>And David had promised, taking in what she
-had said about the child, but only half grasping
-the import of her frantic appeal. Neither he nor
-she were real people to him just now. Only
-Ronnie was real&mdash;Ronnie, who was ill, and his
-patient.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth went through the next two days with
-a heavy heart. She had to meet Mary&rsquo;s questions,
-her objections, her disapprobations, and it
-was all just a little more than she could bear.</p>
-<p>On the night before the wedding, Mary left
-Edward upstairs and came to sit beside Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-fire. Elizabeth would rather have been alone, and
-yet she was pleased that Mary cared to come. If
-only she would let all vexed questions be&mdash;it
-seemed as if she would, for her mood was a silent
-one. She sat for a long time without speaking,
-then, with an impulsive movement, she slid out of
-her chair and knelt at Elizabeth&rsquo;s side.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Liz, I&rsquo;ve been cross. I know I have. I
-know you&rsquo;ve thought me cross. But it&rsquo;s because
-I&rsquo;ve been unhappy&mdash;Liz, I&rsquo;m not <i>happy</i> about
-you&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth put her hand on Mary&rsquo;s shoulder for
-a moment.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t be unhappy, Molly,&rdquo; she said, in rather
-an unsteady voice.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_162">162</div>
-<p>&ldquo;But I am, Liz, I am&mdash;I can&rsquo;t help it&mdash;I have
-talked, and worried you, and have been cross,
-but all the time I&rsquo;ve been most dreadfully
-unhappy. Oh, Liz, don&rsquo;t do it&mdash;don&rsquo;t!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, dear&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, I know it&rsquo;s no use&mdash;you won&rsquo;t listen&mdash;&rdquo;
-and Mary drew away and dabbed her eyes with a
-fragmentary apology for a pocket-handkerchief.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, please&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary nodded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, Liz, I know. I won&rsquo;t&mdash;I didn&rsquo;t mean
-to&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a little silence. Then with a sudden
-choking sob, Mary turned and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I can&rsquo;t <i>bear</i> it. Oh, Liz, you ought to be loved
-so much. You ought to marry some one who loves
-you&mdash;<i>really</i>&mdash;&mdash;. And I don&rsquo;t think David does.
-Liz, does he love you&mdash;does he?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The sound of her own words frightened her a
-little, but Elizabeth answered very gently and sadly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, Molly, but he needs me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary was silenced. Here was something beyond
-her. She put her arms round Elizabeth
-and held her very tightly for a moment. Then
-she released her with a sob, and ran crying from
-the room.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_163">163</div>
-<h2 id="c14"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XIV</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE GOLDEN WIND</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Then far, oh, very far away,</p>
-<p class="t">The Wind began to rise,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Sun, the Moon, the Stars were gone,</p>
-<p class="t">I saw the Grey Wolf&rsquo;s eyes.</p>
-<p class="t0">The Wind rose up and rising, shone,</p>
-<p class="t">I saw it shine, I saw it rise,</p>
-<p class="t0">And suddenly the dark was gone.</p>
-</div>
-<p>David Blake was married to Elizabeth
-Chantrey at half-past two of an April day.
-Edward and Mary Mottisfont were the only
-witnesses, with the exception of the verger, who
-considered himself a most important person on
-these occasions, when he invariably appeared to
-be more priestly than the rector and more indispensable
-than the bridegroom.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_164">164</div>
-<p>It requires no practice to be a bridegroom but
-years, if not generations, go to the making of the
-perfect verger. This verger was the son and the
-grandson of vergers. He was the perfect verger.
-He stood during the service and disapproved of
-David&rsquo;s grey pallor, his shaking hand, and his
-unsteady voice. His black gown imparted a
-funerary air to the proceedings.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Drinking, that&rsquo;s what he&rsquo;d been,&rdquo; he told his
-wife, and his wife said, &ldquo;Oh, William,&rdquo; as one who
-makes response to an officiating priest.</p>
-<p>But he wronged David, who was not drunk&mdash;only
-starved for lack of sleep, and strung
-to the breaking point. His voice stumbled over
-the words in which he took Elizabeth to be his
-wedded wife and trailed away to a whisper at the
-conclusion.</p>
-<p>A gusty wind beat against the long grey windows,
-and between the gusts the heavy rain
-thudded on the roof above.</p>
-<p>Mary shivered in the vestry as she kissed
-Elizabeth and wished her joy. Then she turned
-to David and kissed him too. He was her brother
-now, and there would be no more nonsense. Edward
-frowned, David stiffened, and Elizabeth,
-standing near him, was aware that all his muscles
-had become rigid.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_165">165</div>
-<p>Elizabeth and David went out by the vestry
-door, and stood a moment on the step. The rain
-had ceased quite suddenly in the April fashion.
-The sky was very black overhead and the air was
-full of a wet wind, but far down to the right the
-water meadows lay bathed in a clear sweet sunshine,
-and the west was as blue as a turquoise.
-Between the blue of the sky and the bright emerald
-of the grass, the horizon showed faintly golden,
-and a broken patch of rainbow light glowed against
-the nearest dark cloud.</p>
-<p>David and Elizabeth walked to their home in
-silence. Mrs. Havergill awaited them with an
-air of mournful importance. She had prepared
-coffee and a cake with much almond icing and
-the word &ldquo;Welcome&rdquo; inscribed upon it in silver
-comfits. Elizabeth ate a piece of cake from a sense
-of duty, and David drank cup after cup of black
-coffee, and then sat in a sort of stupor of fatigue
-until roused by the sound of the telephone bell.</p>
-<p>After a minute or two he came back into the
-room.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Ronnie is worse,&rdquo; he said shortly. There was
-a change in him. He had pulled himself together.
-His voice was stronger.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He&rsquo;s worse. I must go at once. Don&rsquo;t
-wait dinner, and don&rsquo;t sit up. I may have to
-stay all night.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>When he had gone, Elizabeth went upstairs to
-unpack. Mrs. Havergill followed her.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_166">166</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You &rsquo;avn&rsquo;t been in this room since Mrs.
-Blake was took.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a very nice room,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;All this furniture,&rdquo; said Mrs. Havergill, &ldquo;come
-out of the &rsquo;ouse in the &rsquo;Igh Street. That old
-mahogany press, Mrs. Blake set a lot of store by,
-and the bed, too. Ah! pore thing, I suppose she
-little thought as &rsquo;ow she&rsquo;d come to die in it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The bed was a fine old four-poster, with a
-carved foot-rail. Elizabeth went past it to the
-windows, of which there were three, set casement
-fashion, at the end of the room, with a wide low
-window-seat running beneath them.</p>
-<p>She got rid of Mrs. Havergill without hurting her
-feelings. Then she knelt on the seat, and looked
-out. She saw the river beneath her, and a line of
-trees in the first green mist of their new leaves.
-The river was dark and bright in patches, and the
-wind sang above it. Elizabeth&rsquo;s heart was glad
-of this place. It was a thing she loved&mdash;to see
-green trees and bright water, and to hear the wind
-go by above the stream.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_167">167</div>
-<p>When she had unpacked and put everything
-away, she stood for a moment, and then opened
-the door that led through into David&rsquo;s room. It
-was getting dark in here, for the room faced the
-east. Elizabeth went to the window and looked
-out. The sky was full of clouds, and the promise
-of rain.</p>
-<p>It was very late before David came home. At
-ten, Elizabeth sent the servants to bed. There
-was cold supper laid in the dining-room, and
-soup in a covered pan by the side of the fire.
-Elizabeth sat by the lamp and sewed. Every now
-and then she lifted her head and listened. Then
-she sewed again.</p>
-<p>At twelve o&rsquo;clock David put his key into the
-latch, and the door opened with a little click and
-then shut again.</p>
-<p>David was a long time coming in. He came in
-slowly, and sat down upon the first chair he
-touched.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He&rsquo;ll do,&rdquo; he said in an exhausted voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m so glad,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>She knelt by the fire, and poured some of the
-soup into a cup. Then she held it out to him, and
-he drank, taking long draughts. After that she
-put food before him, and he ate in a dazed,
-mechanical fashion.</p>
-<p>When he had finished, he sat staring at Elizabeth,
-with his elbows on the table, and his head
-between his hands.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_168">168</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Ronnie is asleep&mdash;he&rsquo;ll do.&rdquo; And then with
-sudden passion: &ldquo;My God, if I could sleep!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You will, David,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. She put
-her hand on his arm, and he turned his head a
-little, still staring at her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, I don&rsquo;t sleep,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Everything
-else sleeps&mdash;<i>Die V&ouml;glein ruhen im Walde</i>. How
-does it go?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;<i>Warte nur, balde ruhest du auch</i>,&rdquo; said Elizabeth
-in her tranquil voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said David, &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t get in. It was so
-easy once&mdash;but now I can&rsquo;t get in. The silent
-city of sleep has long, smooth walls&mdash;I can&rsquo;t find
-the gate; I grope along the wall all night, hour
-after hour. A hundred times I think I have found
-the door. Sometimes there is a flashing sword
-that bars the way, sometimes the wall closes&mdash;closes
-as I pass the threshold. There&rsquo;s no way in.
-The walls are smooth&mdash;all smooth&mdash;you can&rsquo;t get
-in.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He spoke, not wildly, but in a low, muttering
-way. Elizabeth touched his hand. It was very
-hot.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_169">169</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Come, David,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;it is late.&rdquo; She
-drew him to his feet, and he walked uncertainly,
-and leaned on her shoulder, as they went up the
-stair. Once in his room, he sank again upon a
-chair. He let her help him, but when she knelt,
-and would have unlaced his boots, he roused
-himself.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, you are not to,&rdquo; he said with a sudden
-anger in his voice, and he took them off, and then
-let her help him again.</p>
-<p>When he was in bed, Elizabeth stood by him for
-a moment.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Are you comfortable?&rdquo; she asked.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If I could sleep,&rdquo; he said, only just above
-his breath. &ldquo;If I could.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, but you will,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t
-be afraid, David. It&rsquo;s all right.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_170">170</div>
-<p>She set the door into her room ajar and then
-sat down by the window, and looked out at the
-night. The blind was up. The night was dark
-and clear. There were stars, many little glittering
-points. It was very still. Elizabeth fixed her
-eyes upon the sky, but after a minute or two she
-did not see it at all. Her mind was full of David
-and his need. This tortured, sleepless state of his
-had no reality. How could it compass and oppress
-the immortal image of God? Her thought rose
-into peace. Elizabeth opened her mind to the
-Divine light. Her will rested. She was conscious
-only of that radiant peace. It enwrapped her,
-it enwrapped David. In it they lived and moved
-and had their being. In it they were real and
-vital creatures. To lapse from consciousness of it,
-was to fall upon a formless, baseless dream, wherein
-were the shadows of evil. These shadows had
-no reality. Brought to the light, they faded,
-leaving only that peace&mdash;that radiance. Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-eyes were opened. She saw the Wings of
-Peace.</p>
-<p>And David slept.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_171">171</div>
-<h2 id="c15"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XV</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">LOVE MUST TO SCHOOL</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Love must to school to learn his alphabet,</p>
-<p class="t0">His wings are shorn, his eyes are dim and wet.</p>
-<p class="t0">He pores on books that once he knew by heart&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t0">Poor, foolish Love, to wander and forget.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Elizabeth sat quite motionless for half an
-hour. Then she stirred, bent her head for a
-moment, whilst she listened to David&rsquo;s regular
-breathing, and then rose to her feet. She passed
-through the open door into her own room, and
-undressed in the dark. Then she lay down and
-slept.</p>
-<p>Three times during the night she woke and
-listened. But David still slept. When she woke
-up for the third time, the room was full of the
-greyness of the dawn. She got up and closed the
-door between the two rooms.</p>
-<p>Then she lay waking. It had been a strange
-wedding night.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_172">172</div>
-<p>The day dawned cloudy, but broke at noon into
-a cloudless warmth that was more like June than
-April.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Take me down the river,&rdquo; said Elizabeth,
-and they rowed down for half a mile, and turned
-the boat into a water-lane where budding willows
-swept down on either side, and brushed the stream.</p>
-<p>David was very well content to lie in the sun.
-The strain was gone from him, leaving behind it a
-weariness beyond words. Every limb, every muscle,
-every nerve was relaxed. There was a great
-peace upon him. The air tasted sweet. The
-light was a pleasant thing. The sky was blue, and
-so was Elizabeth&rsquo;s dress, and Elizabeth was a very
-reposeful person. She did not fidget and she did
-not chatter. When she spoke it was of pleasant
-things.</p>
-<p>David recalled a day, ten years ago, when he
-had sat with her in this very place. He could see
-himself, full of enthusiasm, full of youth. He
-could remember how he had talked, and how
-Elizabeth had listened. She was just the same
-now. It was he who had changed. Ten years
-ago seemed to him a very pleasant time, a very
-pleasant memory. Pictures rose before him&mdash;stray
-words&mdash;stray recollections running into a
-long, soft blur.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_173">173</div>
-<p>They came home in the dusk.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Are you going to see Ronnie again?&rdquo; said
-Elizabeth, as they landed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes; he couldn&rsquo;t be doing better, but I&rsquo;ll
-look in, and to-morrow Skeffington will go with
-me so as to get him broken in to the change.
-We ought to get away all right now.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David waked next day to find the sun shining in
-at his uncurtained window. From where he lay
-he could see the young blue of the sky, and all
-the room seemed full of the sun&rsquo;s gold. David
-lay in a lazy contentment watching the motes that
-danced in a long shining beam. There was a new
-stir of life in his veins. He stretched out his
-limbs and was glad of their strength. The sweetness
-and the glory and the promise of the spring
-slid into his blood and fired it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he said, still between sleeping and
-waking&mdash;and with the name, memory woke.
-Suddenly his brain was very clear. He looked
-straight ahead and saw the door that led into the
-other room&mdash;the room that had been his mother&rsquo;s.
-Elizabeth was in that room. He had married
-Elizabeth&mdash;she was his wife. He lay quite still
-and stared at the door. Elizabeth Chantrey was
-Elizabeth Blake. She was his wife&mdash;and Mary&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_174">174</div>
-<p>A sudden spasm of laughter caught David by
-the throat. Mary was what she had promised
-to be&mdash;his sister; Mary was his sister. The
-spasm of laughter passed, and with it the stir in
-David&rsquo;s blood. He was quite cool now. He
-lay staring at that closed door, and faced the
-situation.</p>
-<p>It was a damnable situation, he decided. He
-felt as a man might feel who wakes from the
-delirium of weeks, to find that in his madness he
-has done some intolerable, some irrevocable thing.
-A man who does not sleep is a man who is not
-wholly sane. David looked back and followed
-the events of the last few months with a critical
-detachment.</p>
-<p>He saw the strain growing and growing until,
-in the end, on the brink of the abyss, he had
-snatched at the relief which Elizabeth offered, as
-a man who dies of thirst will snatch at water. Well&mdash;he
-had taken Elizabeth&rsquo;s draught of water, his
-thirst was quenched, he was his own man again.
-No, never his own man any more. Never free
-any more&mdash;Elizabeth&rsquo;s debtor&mdash;Elizabeth&rsquo;s husband.</p>
-<p>David set his face like a flint&mdash;he would pay
-his debt.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_175">175</div>
-<p>He went out as soon as he had breakfasted and
-walked for a couple of hours. It was a little
-after noon when he came into the drawing-room
-where Elizabeth was.</p>
-<p>The floor was covered with a great many yards
-of green stuff which she was cutting into curtain
-lengths. As David came in, she looked up and
-smiled.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, <i>please</i>,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;if you wouldn&rsquo;t mind,
-I shall cut them so much better if you hold one
-end.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David knelt down and held the stuff, whilst
-Elizabeth cut it. She came quite close to him at
-the end, smiled again, and took away the two
-pieces which he still clutched helplessly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s beautiful,&rdquo; she said, and sat down and
-began to sew.</p>
-<p>David watched her in silence. If she found his
-gaze embarrassing, she showed no sign.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;We can start to-morrow,&rdquo; he said at last.
-He gave a list of trains, stopping-places, and
-hotels, paused at the end of it, walked to the
-window, and then, turning, said with an effort:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;This has been a bad beginning for you, my
-dear&mdash;you&rsquo;ve been very good to me. You deserve
-a better bargain, but I&rsquo;ll do my best.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_176">176</div>
-<p>Elizabeth did not speak at once. David
-thought that she was not going to speak at all,
-but after what seemed like a long time she said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David!&rdquo; and then stopped.</p>
-<p>There was a good deal of colour in her cheeks.
-David saw that she, too, was making an effort.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, and his voice was more natural.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, &ldquo;what did you mean
-by &lsquo;doing your best&rsquo;?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David met her eyes. He had always liked
-Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes. They were so very clear.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I meant that I&rsquo;d do my best to make you a
-good husband,&rdquo; he said quite simply.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s colour rose higher still. She continued
-to look at David, because she would have
-considered it cowardly to look away.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;A good husband to my good wife,&rdquo; she said.
-&ldquo;But, David, I don&rsquo;t think you want a wife just
-now.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David came across the room and sat down by
-the table at which Elizabeth was working.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then why did you marry me, Elizabeth?&rdquo;
-he asked.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth did not turn her head at once.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_177">177</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I think what we both want just now,&rdquo; she
-said, &ldquo;is friendship.&rdquo; Her voice was low, but she
-kept it steady. &ldquo;The sort of friendship that is
-one side of marriage. It is not really possible for
-a man and a woman to be friends in that sort of
-way unless they are married. I think you want
-a friend&mdash;I know I do. I think you have been
-very lonely&mdash;one is lonely, and it is worse for a
-man. He can&rsquo;t get the home-feeling, and he
-misses it. You did not marry me because you
-needed a wife. I don&rsquo;t think you do. When you
-want a wife, I will be your wife, but just now&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She broke off. She did not look at David, but
-David looked at her. He saw how tightly her
-hands were clasped, he saw the colour flushing in
-her cheeks. She had great self-control, but that
-she was deeply moved was very evident.</p>
-<p>All at once he became conscious of great fatigue.
-He had walked far and in considerable distress of
-mind. He had put a very strong constraint upon
-himself. He rested his head on his hand and
-tried to think. Elizabeth did not speak again.
-After a time he raised his head. Elizabeth was
-watching him&mdash;her eyes were very soft. A sense
-of relief came upon David. Just to drift&mdash;just to
-let things go on in the old way, on the old lines.
-Not for always&mdash;just for a time&mdash;until he had
-put Mary out of his thoughts. Their marriage
-was not an ordinary one. It was for Elizabeth
-to make what terms she would. And it was a
-relief&mdash;yes, no doubt it was a relief.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_178">178</div>
-<p>&ldquo;If I say, Yes,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;it is only for a time.
-It is not a very possible situation, you know,
-Elizabeth&mdash;not possible at all in most cases.
-But just now, just for the present, I admit your
-right to choose.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s hands relaxed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Thank you, David,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_179">179</div>
-<h2 id="c16"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XVI</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">FRIENDSHIP</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">See, God is everywhere,</p>
-<p class="t0">Where, then, is care?</p>
-<p class="t0">There is no night in Him,</p>
-<p class="t0">Then how can we grow dim?</p>
-<p class="t0">There is no room for pain or fear</p>
-<p class="t0">Since God is Love, and Love is here.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">The full cup lowered down into the sea,</p>
-<p class="t0">Is full continually,</p>
-<p class="t0">How can it lose one drop when all around</p>
-<p class="t0">The endless floods abound?</p>
-<p class="t0">So we in Him no part of Life can lose,</p>
-<p class="t0">For all is ours to use.</p>
-</div>
-<p>David found himself enjoying his holiday a
-good deal. Blue skies and shining air,
-clear cold of the snows and radiant warmth of the
-spring sun, sweet sleep by night and pleasant
-companionship by day&mdash;all these were his portion.
-His own content surprised him. He had been so
-long in the dark places that he could scarcely
-believe that the shadow was gone, and the day
-clear again. He had been prepared to struggle
-manfully against the feeling for Mary which had
-haunted and tormented him for so long. To his
-surprise, he found that this feeling fell into line
-with the other symptoms of his illness. He shrank
-from thinking of it, as he shrank from thinking of
-his craving for drink, his sleepless nights, and his
-dread of madness. It was all a part of the same
-bad dream&mdash;a shadow among shadows, in a world
-of gloom from which he had escaped.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_180">180</div>
-<p>Elizabeth was a very good companion. It was
-too early to climb, but they took long walks,
-shared picnic meals, and talked or were silent just
-as the spirit moved them. It was the old boy and
-girl companionship come back, and it was a very
-restful thing. One day, when they had been
-married about a fortnight, David said suddenly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How did you do it, Elizabeth?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>They were sitting on a grassy slope, looking
-over a wide valley where blue mists lay. A little
-wind was blowing, and the upper air was clear.
-The grass on which they sat was short. It was
-full of innumerable small white and purple
-anemones. Elizabeth was sitting on the grass,
-watching the flowers, and touching first one and
-then another with the tips of her fingers.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_181">181</div>
-<p>&ldquo;All these little white ones have a violet stain
-at the back of each petal,&rdquo; was the last thing
-that she had said, but when David spoke she
-looked up, a little startled.</p>
-<p>He was lying full length on a narrow ledge just
-above her, with his cap over his eyes to shield
-them from the sun, which was very bright.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How did you do it, Elizabeth?&rdquo; said David
-Blake.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth hesitated. She could not see his
-face.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How did you do it? Was it hypnotism?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no&mdash;&rdquo; There was real horror in her
-voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It must have been.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She was silent for a moment. Then she said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you remember how interested we used to
-be in hypnotism, David?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, that&rsquo;s partly what made me think of it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;We read everything we could lay hands on&mdash;all
-the books on psychic phenomena&mdash;Charcot&rsquo;s
-experiments&mdash;everything. And do you remember
-the conclusion we came to?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What was it?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_182">182</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think you&rsquo;ve forgotten. I can remember
-you stamping up and down my little room
-and saying, &lsquo;It&rsquo;s a <i>damnable</i> thing, Elizabeth, a
-perfectly damnable thing. There&rsquo;s <i>no</i> end, absolutely
-none to the extent to which it undermines
-everything&mdash;I believe it is a much more real devil
-than any that the theologies produce.&rsquo; That&rsquo;s
-what you said nine years ago, David, and I
-agreed with you. We used quite a lot of strong
-language between us, and I don&rsquo;t feel called upon
-to retract any of it. Hypnotism <i>is</i> a damnable
-thing.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David pushed the cap back from his eyes as
-Elizabeth spoke, and raised himself on his elbow,
-so that he could see her face.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;There are degrees,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and it&rsquo;s very
-hard to define. How would you define it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s not easy. &lsquo;The unlawful influence of
-one mind over another&rsquo;?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s begging the question. At what point
-does it become unlawful?&mdash;that&rsquo;s the crux.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I suppose at the point when force of will
-overbears sense&mdash;reason&mdash;conscience. You may
-persuade a man to lend you money, but you
-mayn&rsquo;t pick his pocket or hypnotise him.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;How practical!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Then very suddenly:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_183">183</div>
-<p>&ldquo;So it wasn&rsquo;t hypnotism. Are you <i>sure</i>?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, quite sure.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But can you be sure? There&rsquo;s such a thing
-as the unconscious exercise of will power.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth shook her head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;There is nothing in the least unconscious in
-what I do. I know very well what I am about,
-and I know enough about hypnotism to know
-that it is not that. I don&rsquo;t use my will at all.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What do you do? How is it done?&rdquo; His
-tone was interested.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I think,&rdquo; said Elizabeth slowly, &ldquo;that it is
-done by <i>realising</i>, by getting into touch with
-Reality. Things like sleeplessness, pain, and
-strain aren&rsquo;t right&mdash;they aren&rsquo;t normal. They
-are like bad dreams. If one wakes&mdash;if one sees
-the reality&mdash;the dream is gone.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She spoke as if she were struggling to find words
-for some idea which filled her mind, but was hard
-to put into a communicable shape.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It is life on the Fourth Dimension,&rdquo; she said
-at last.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said David, &ldquo;go on.&rdquo; There was a
-slightly quizzical look in his eyes, but he was
-interested. &ldquo;What do you mean by the Fourth
-Dimension?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_184">184</div>
-<p>&ldquo;We used to talk of that too, and lately I have
-thought about it a lot.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It is so hard to put into words. Fourth
-Dimensional things won&rsquo;t get into Third Dimensional
-words. One has to try and try, and then
-a little scrap of the meaning comes through.
-That is why there are so many creeds, so many
-sects. They are all an attempt to express&mdash;and
-one can&rsquo;t really express the thing. I can&rsquo;t say it,
-I can only feel it. It is limitless, and words are
-limited. There are no bounds or barriers. Take
-Thought, for instance&mdash;that is Fourth Dimensional&mdash;and
-Love. Religion is a purely Fourth
-Dimensional thing, and we all guess and translate
-as best we may. In all religions that have life,
-apprehension rises above the creed and reaches
-out to the Real&mdash;the untranslatable.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, that&rsquo;s true; but go on&mdash;define the Fourth
-Dimension.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_185">185</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I can see it, you know. It&rsquo;s another plane.
-It is the plane which permeates and inter-penetrates
-all other planes&mdash;universal, eternal, unchanging.
-It&rsquo;s like the Fire of God&mdash;searching
-all things. It is the plane of Reality. Nothing is
-real which is not universal and unchanging and
-eternal. If one can realise that plane, one is
-amongst the realities, and all that is unreal goes
-out. &lsquo;There is no life but the Life of God, no
-consciousness but the Divine Consciousness.&rsquo; I
-think that is the best definition of all: &lsquo;the Divine
-Consciousness.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He did not know that she was quoting, and he
-did not answer her or speak at all for some time.
-But at last he said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;So I slept, because you saw me in the Divine
-Consciousness; is that it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Something like that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You didn&rsquo;t will that I should sleep?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Are you doing it still?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Every night?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Elizabeth again.</p>
-<p>David sat up. The mists in the valley
-beneath were golden, for the sun had dropped.
-As he looked, the gold turned grey, and the
-shadow of darkness to come rose out of the
-valley&rsquo;s depths, though the hill-slope on which
-they sat was warm and sunny yet. David
-turned and saw that Elizabeth was watching
-him.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_186">186</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I want you to stop whatever it is you do,&rdquo; he
-said abruptly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Very well.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not as ungrateful as that sounds&mdash;&rdquo;
-He broke off, and Elizabeth said quickly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You don&rsquo;t think it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why should I? You are well again. You
-don&rsquo;t need my help any more.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>A shadow like the shadow of evening came
-over her as she spoke, but her smile betrayed
-nothing.</p>
-<p>They walked back to the hotel in silence.</p>
-<p>David had wondered if he would sleep. He
-slept all night, the sweet sound sleep of health and
-a mind unburdened.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_187">187</div>
-<p>It was Elizabeth who did not sleep. She had
-walked with him through the valley of the shadow
-and he had come out of it a whole man again.
-Was she to cling to the shadow, because in the
-shadow David had clung to her? It came to that.
-She drove the thought home, and did not shirk the
-pain of it. They were come out into the light,
-and in the light he had no need of her. But this
-was not full daylight in which they walked&mdash;it
-was only the first chill grey of the dawn, and
-there is always a need of Love. Love needs
-must give, and giving, blesses and is blessed, for
-Love is of the realities&mdash;a thing immutable and
-all-pervading. No man can shut out Love.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_188">188</div>
-<h2 id="c17"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XVII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE DREAM</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">My hand has never touched your hand, I have not seen your face,</p>
-<p class="t">No sound of any spoken word has passed between us two&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t0">Yet night by night I come to you in some unearthly place,</p>
-<p class="t">And all my dreams of day and night are dreams of love and you.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">The moon has never shone on us together in our sleep,</p>
-<p class="t">The sun has never seen us kiss beneath the arch of day,</p>
-<p class="t0">Your eyes have never looked in mine&mdash;your soul has looked so deep,</p>
-<p class="t">That all the sundering veils of sense are drawn and done away.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">My lids are sealed with more than sleep, but I am lapped in light,</p>
-<p class="t">Your soul draws near, and yet more near, till both our souls are one,</p>
-<p class="t0">In that strange place of our content is neither day nor night,</p>
-<p class="t">No end and no beginning, whilst the timeless &aelig;ons run.</p>
-</div>
-<p>David came home after his month&rsquo;s holiday
-as hard and healthy as a man may be.
-Elizabeth was well content. She and David were
-friends. He liked her company, he ate and slept,
-he was well, and he laughed sometimes as the old
-David had laughed.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_189">189</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you think your master looks well, Mrs.
-Havergill?&rdquo; she said quite gaily.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill sighed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He do look well,&rdquo; she admitted; &ldquo;but there,
-ma&rsquo;am, there&rsquo;s no saying&mdash;it isn&rsquo;t looks as we
-can go by. In my own family now, there was
-my sister Sarah. She was a fine, fresh-looking
-woman. Old Dr. Jones he met her out walking,
-as it might be on the Thursday.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;&lsquo;Well, Miss Sarah, you <i>do</i> look well,&rsquo; he says&mdash;and
-there, &rsquo;tweren&rsquo;t but the following Tuesday
-as she was took. &lsquo;Who&rsquo;d ha&rsquo; thought it,&rsquo; he says.
-&lsquo;In the midst of life we are in death,&rsquo; and that&rsquo;s
-a true word. And my brother &rsquo;Enry now, &rsquo;e
-never look so well in all &rsquo;is life as when he was
-laying in &rsquo;is coffin.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth could afford to laugh.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Mrs. Havergill, do be cheerful,&rdquo; she
-implored; &ldquo;it would be so much better for you.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill looked injured.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t see as we&rsquo;re sent into this world to
-be cheerful,&rdquo; she said, with the air of one who
-reproves unchristian levity.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, but we are&mdash;we really are,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill shook her head.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_190">190</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Let them be cheerful as has no troubles,&rdquo; she
-remarked. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve &rsquo;ad mine, and a-plenty,&rdquo; and
-she went out of the room, sighing.</p>
-<p>Mary ran in to see her sister quite early on the
-morning after their return.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, Liz&mdash;no, let me <i>look</i> at you&mdash;I&rsquo;ll kiss
-you in a minute. Are you <i>happy</i>&mdash;you wrote
-dreadful guide-book letters, that I tore up and
-put in the fire.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, they were&mdash;exactly like Baedeker, only
-worse. All about mountains and flowers and the
-nice air, and &lsquo;David is quite well again.&rsquo; As
-if <i>anyone</i> wanted to hear about mountains and
-flowers from a person on her honeymoon. Are
-you <i>happy</i>, Liz?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t I look happy?&rdquo; said Elizabeth laughing.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, you do.&rdquo; Mary looked at her considering.
-&ldquo;You <i>do</i>. Is it all right, Liz, <i>really</i> all
-right?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, it&rsquo;s really all right, Molly,&rdquo; said Elizabeth,
-and then she began to talk of other things.</p>
-<p>Mary kissed her very affectionately when she
-went away, but at the door she turned, frowning.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I expect you wrote <i>reams</i> to Agneta,&rdquo; she
-said, and then shut the door quickly before Elizabeth
-had time to answer.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_191">191</div>
-<p>David was out when Mary came, and it so
-happened that for two or three days they did not
-meet. He had come to dread the meeting. His
-passion for Mary was dead. He was afraid lest
-her presence, her voice, should raise the dead and
-bring it forth again in its garment of glamour and
-pain. Then on Sunday he came in to find Mary
-sitting there with Elizabeth in the twilight. She
-jumped up as he came in, and held out her hand.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, David, you are a nice brother&mdash;never to
-have come and seen me. Busy? Yes, of course
-you&rsquo;ve been busy, but you might have squeezed
-in a visit to me, amongst all the visits to sick old
-ladies and naughty little boys. Oh, <i>do</i> you know,
-Katie Ellerton has gone away? She took Ronnie
-to Brighton for a change, and then wrote and
-said she wasn&rsquo;t coming back. I believe she is
-going to live with a brother who is a solicitor down
-there. And she&rsquo;s selling her furniture, so if you
-<i>want</i> extra things you might get them cheap.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s Elizabeth&rsquo;s department,&rdquo; said David,
-laughing.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_192">192</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, this is for you both. When will you
-come to dinner? On Tuesday? Yes, do. Talk
-about being busy. Edward&rsquo;s busy, if you like.
-I never see him, and he&rsquo;s quite worried. Liz, you
-remember Jack Webster? Well, you know he&rsquo;s on
-the West Coast, and he&rsquo;s sent Edward a whole
-case of things&mdash;frightfully exciting specimens,
-two centipedes he&rsquo;s wanted for ever so long, and
-a spider that Jack says is new. And Edward
-has never even had time to open the case. That
-shows you! It&rsquo;s accounts, I believe. Edward
-does hate accounts.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>When she had gone David sat silent for a long
-time. It was the old Mary, and prettier than
-ever. He had never seen her looking prettier,
-but his feeling for her was gone. He could look
-at her quite dispassionately, and wonder over the
-old unreasoning thrill. And what a chatterbox
-she was. Thank Heaven, she had had the sense
-to marry Edward, who was really not such a bad
-sort. Poor Edward. He laughed aloud suddenly,
-and Elizabeth looked up and asked:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward and the case he can&rsquo;t open, and the
-centipedes he can&rsquo;t play with,&rdquo; he said, still
-laughing. &ldquo;Poor old Edward! What it is to
-have a conscience. I wonder he doesn&rsquo;t have a
-midnight orgy with the centipedes, but I suppose
-Mary sees to that.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_193">193</div>
-<p>It was that night that David dreamed his dream
-again. All these months it had never come to
-him. Amongst the many dreams that had haunted
-his sick brain, there had been no hint of this
-one. He had wondered about it sometimes. And
-now it returned. In the first deep sleep that
-comes to a healthy man he dreamed it.</p>
-<p>He heard the wind blowing&mdash;that was the
-beginning of it. It came from the far distances
-of space, and it passed on again to the far distances
-beyond. David heard it blow, but his eyes
-were darkened. Then suddenly he saw. His
-feet were on the shining sand, the sand that shone
-because a golden moon looked down upon it from
-a clear sky, and the tide had left it wet.</p>
-<p>David stood upon the shining sand, and saw
-the Woman of the Dream stand where the moon-track
-ceased at the sea&rsquo;s rim. The moon was
-behind her head, and the wind blew out her hair.
-He stood as he had stood a hundred times, and
-as he had longed a hundred times to see the
-Woman&rsquo;s face, so he longed now. He moved to
-go to her, and the wind blew about him in his
-dream.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_194">194</div>
-<p>Elizabeth had sat late in her room. There was
-a book in her hand, but after a time she did not
-read. The night was very warm. She got up
-and opened the window wide. The moon was low
-and nearly full, and a wind blew out of the west&mdash;such
-a warm wind, full of the scent of green,
-growing things. Elizabeth put out the light and
-stood by the window, drawing long breaths. It
-seemed as if the wind were blowing right through
-her. It beat upon her uncovered throat, and
-the touch of it was like something alive. It
-sang in her ears, and Elizabeth&rsquo;s blood sang
-too.</p>
-<p>And then, quite suddenly, she heard a sound
-that stopped her heart. She heard the handle
-of the door between her room and David&rsquo;s turn
-softly, and she heard a step upon the threshold.
-All her life was at her heart, waiting. She could
-neither move, nor speak, nor draw her breath.
-And the wind blew out her long white dress, and
-the wind blew out her hair. As in a trance between
-one world and the next, she heard a voice
-in the room. It was David&rsquo;s voice, and yet not
-David&rsquo;s voice, and it shook the very foundations
-of her being.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Turn round and let me see your face, Woman
-of my Dream,&rdquo; said David Blake.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_195">195</div>
-<p>Elizabeth stood quite still. Only her breath
-came again. The wind brought it back to her,
-and as she drew it in, the step came nearer and
-David said again:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Show me your face&mdash;your face; I have never
-seen your face.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She turned then, very slowly&mdash;in obedience to
-an effort, that left her drained of strength.</p>
-<p>David was standing in the middle of the room.
-His feet were bare, as he had risen from his bed,
-but his eyes were open, and they looked not at,
-but through Elizabeth, to the place where she
-walked in his dream.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Ah!&rdquo; said David on a long, slow, sudden
-breath.</p>
-<p>He came nearer&mdash;nearer. Now he stood beside
-her, and the wind swept suddenly between them,
-and eddying, drove a great swathe of her unfastened
-hair across his breast. David put up his
-hand and touched the hair.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But I can&rsquo;t see your face,&rdquo; he said, in a strange,
-complaining note. &ldquo;The moon shines on your
-hair, but not upon your face. Show me your
-face&mdash;your face&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She moved, and the moon shone on her. Her
-face was as white as ivory. Her eyes wide and
-dark&mdash;as dark as the darkening sky. They stood
-in silence, and the moon sank low.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_196">196</div>
-<p>Then David put out his hands and touched her
-on the breast.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now I have seen your face,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Now
-I am content because I have seen your face. I
-have gone hungry for the sight of it, and have
-gone thirsty for the love of you, and all the years
-I have never seen your face.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And now&mdash;&mdash;?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s voice came in a whisper.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now I am content.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Your face is the face of Love,&rdquo; said David
-Blake.</p>
-<p>His hands still held her hair. They lay against
-her heart, and moved a little as she breathed.</p>
-<p>A sudden terror raised its head and peered at
-Elizabeth. Mary&mdash;oh, God&mdash;if he took her for
-Mary. The thought struck her as with a spear
-of ice. It burned as ice burns, and froze her as ice
-freezes. Her lips were stiff as she forced out the
-words:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Who am I? Say.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>His hands were warm. He answered her at
-once.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_197">197</div>
-<p>&ldquo;We are in the Dream, you and I. You are
-the Woman of the Dream. Your face is the face
-of Love, and your hair&mdash;your floating hair&mdash;&rdquo; He
-paused.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;My hair&mdash;what colour is my hair?&rdquo; whispered
-Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Your hair&mdash;&rdquo; He lifted a strand of it. The
-wind played through it, and it brushed his cheek,
-then fell again upon her breast. His hand closed
-down upon it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What colour is my hair?&rdquo; said Elizabeth very
-quietly. Mary&rsquo;s hair was dark. Even in the
-moonlight, Mary&rsquo;s hair would be dark. If he
-said dark hair, dark like the night which would
-close upon them when that low moon was gone&mdash;what
-should she do&mdash;oh, God, what should
-she do?</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Your hair is gold&mdash;moon gold, which is pale as
-a dream,&rdquo; said David Blake. And a great shudder
-ran through Elizabeth from head to foot as the ice
-went from her heart.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Like moon gold,&rdquo; repeated David, and his
-hands were warm against her breast.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_198">198</div>
-<p>And then all at once they were in the dark
-together, for the moon went out suddenly like a
-blown candle. She had dropped into a bank of
-clouds that rose from the clouding west. The
-wind blew a little chill, and as suddenly as the
-light had gone, David, too, was gone. One
-moment, so near&mdash;touching her in the darkness&mdash;and
-the next, gone&mdash;gone noiselessly, leaving
-her shaking, quivering.</p>
-<p>When she could move, she lit a candle and
-looked in through the open door. David lay upon
-his side, with one hand under his cheek. He was
-sleeping like a child.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth shut the door.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_199">199</div>
-<h2 id="c18"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XVIII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE FACE OF LOVE</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Where have I seen these tall black trees,</p>
-<p class="t">Two and two and three&mdash;yes, seven,</p>
-<p class="t0">Standing all about in a ring,</p>
-<p class="t">And pointing up to Heaven?</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Where have I seen this black, black pool,</p>
-<p class="t">That never ruffles to any breath,</p>
-<p class="t0">But stares and stares at the empty sky,</p>
-<p class="t">As silently as death?</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">How did we come here, you and I,</p>
-<p class="t">With the pool beneath, and the trees above?</p>
-<p class="t0">Oh, even in death or the dusk of a dream,</p>
-<p class="t">You are heart of the heart of Love.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Elizabeth was very pale when she came
-down the next day. As she dressed, she
-could hear David singing and whistling in his
-room. He went down the stairs like a schoolboy,
-and when she followed she found him opening his
-letters and whistling still.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_200">200</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Hullo!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Good-morning. You&rsquo;re
-late, and I&rsquo;ve only got half an hour to breakfast
-in. I&rsquo;m starving, I don&rsquo;t believe you gave me any
-dinner last night. I shall be late for lunch.
-Give me something cold when I come in, I&rsquo;ve
-got a pretty full day&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth wondered as she listened to him if it
-were she who had dreamed.</p>
-<p>That evening he looked up suddenly from his
-book and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Was the moon full last night?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not quite.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was startled. Did he, after all,
-remember anything?</p>
-<p>&ldquo;When is it full?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;To-morrow, I think. Why?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Her breathing quickened a little as she asked
-the question.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I dreamed my dream again last
-night, and it generally comes when the moon is
-full,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth turned, as if to get more light upon
-her book. She could not sit and let him see her
-face.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Your dream&mdash;&mdash;?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Her voice was low.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_201">201</div>
-<p>He paused for so long that the silence seemed
-to close upon Elizabeth. Then he said thoughtfully:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Dreams are odd things. I&rsquo;ve had this one
-off and on since I was a boy. And it&rsquo;s always the
-same. But I have not had it for months. Then
-last night&mdash;&rdquo; He broke off. &ldquo;Do you know
-I&rsquo;ve never told any one about it before&mdash;does it
-bore you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, and could not have said
-more to save her life.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a queer dream, and it never varies.
-There&rsquo;s always the same long, wet stretch of
-sand, and the moon shining over the sea. And
-a woman&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;She stands at the edge of the sea with the
-moon behind her, and the wind&mdash;did I tell you
-about the wind?&mdash;it blows her hair and her dress.
-And I have never seen her face.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, never. I&rsquo;ve always wanted to, but I
-can never get near enough, and the moon is behind
-her. When I was a boy, I used to walk in my
-sleep when I had the dream. I used to wake up in
-all sorts of odd places. Once I got as far as the
-front-door step, and waked with my feet on the
-wet stones. I suppose I was looking for the
-Woman.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_202">202</div>
-<p>Elizabeth took a grip of herself.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you walk in your sleep now?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He shook his head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, no. Not since I was a boy,&rdquo; he said
-cheerfully. &ldquo;Mrs. Havergill would have evolved
-a ghost story long ago if I had.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And last night your dream was just the
-same?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, just the same. It always ends just when
-it might get exciting.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Did you wake?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No. That&rsquo;s the odd part. One is supposed
-to dream only when one is waking, and of course
-it&rsquo;s very hard to tell, but my impression is, that
-at the point where my dream ends I drop more
-deeply asleep. Dreams are queer things. I
-don&rsquo;t know why I told you about this one.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He took up his book as he spoke, and they
-talked no more.</p>
-<p class="center"><span class="gs">* * * * * * * *</span></p>
-<p>Elizabeth went to her room early that night,
-but she did not get into bed. She moved about
-the room, hanging up the dress she had worn,
-folding her things&mdash;even sorting out a drawer full
-of odds and ends. It seemed as if she must
-occupy herself.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_203">203</div>
-<p>Presently she heard David come up and go into
-his room. She went on rolling up stray bits of
-lace and ribbon with fingers that seemed oddly
-numb. When she had finished, she began to
-brush her hair, standing before the glass, and
-brushing with a long, rhythmic movement. After
-about ten minutes she turned suddenly and blew
-out the candle. She went to the window and
-opened it wide.</p>
-<p>Then, because she was trembling, she sat down
-on the window-seat and waited. The night came
-into the room and filled it. The trees moved
-above the water. The rumble of traffic in the
-High Street sounded very far away. It had nothing
-to do with the world in which Elizabeth
-waited. There was no wind to-night. It was
-very still and warm. The moon shone.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_204">204</div>
-<p>When the door opened, Elizabeth knew that she
-had known that he would come. He crossed the
-room and took her in his arms. She felt his arms
-about her, she felt his kiss, and there was nothing
-of the unsubstantial stuff of dreams in his strong
-clasp. For one moment, as her lips kissed too,
-she thought that he was awake&mdash;that he had
-remembered, but as she stepped back and looked
-into his face she saw that he was in his dream.
-His eyes looked far away. Then he kissed her
-again, and dreaming or waking her soul went out
-of her and was his soul, her very consciousness was
-no more hers, but his, and she, too, saw that
-strange, moon-guarded shore, and she, too, heard
-the wind. But the night&mdash;the night was still.
-Where did it come from, this sudden rush of the
-wind, that seemed to blow through her? From
-far away it came, from very far away, and it passed
-through her and on to its own far place again,
-a rushing eddy of wind, whirling about some
-unknown centre.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was giddy and faint with the singing
-of that wind in her ears. The moon was in her
-eyes. She trembled, and hid them upon David&rsquo;s
-breast.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; she whispered at last, and he
-answered her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Love&mdash;love&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She turned a little from the light and looked at
-him. There was a smile upon his face, and his
-eyes smiled too.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Where are we?&rdquo; she said. And David laid
-his face against hers and said:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_205">205</div>
-<p>&ldquo;We are in the Dream.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, what is the Dream? Do you know?
-Tell me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It is the Dream,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;the old dream, the
-dream that has no waking.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And who am I? Am I Elizabeth?&rdquo; She
-feared so much to say it, and could not rest till
-it was said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Elizabeth.&rdquo; He repeated the word, and
-paused. His eyes clouded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You are the Woman of the Dream.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But I have a name&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;you have a name, but I have forgotten&mdash;if
-I could remember it. It is the name&mdash;the old
-name&mdash;the name you had before the moon went
-down. It was at night. You kissed me. There
-were so many trees. I knew your name. Then
-the moon went down, and it was dark, and I forgot&mdash;not
-you&mdash;only the name. Are you angry,
-love, because I have forgotten your name?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was trouble in his tone.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, not angry,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, with a quiver
-in her voice. &ldquo;Will you call me Elizabeth, David?
-Will you say Elizabeth to me?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_206">206</div>
-<p>He said &ldquo;Elizabeth,&rdquo; and as he said it his face
-changed. For a moment she thought that he
-was waking. His arms dropped from about her,
-and he drew a long, deep breath that was like a
-sigh.</p>
-<p>Then he went slowly from her into the darkness
-of his own room, walking as if he saw.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth fell on her knees by the window-seat
-and hid her face. The wind still sang in her ears.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_207">207</div>
-<h2 id="c19"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XIX</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE FULL MOON</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">The sun was cold, the dark dead Moon</p>
-<p class="t">Hung low behind dull leaden bars,</p>
-<p class="t0">And you came barefoot down the sky</p>
-<p class="t">Between the grey unlighted Stars.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">You laid your hand upon my soul,</p>
-<p class="t">My soul that cried to you for rest,</p>
-<p class="t0">And all the light of the lost Sun</p>
-<p class="t">Was in the comfort of your breast.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">There was no veil upon your heart,</p>
-<p class="t">There was no veil upon your eyes;</p>
-<p class="t0">I did not know the Stars were dim,</p>
-<p class="t">Nor long for that dead Moon to rise.</p>
-</div>
-<p>They dined with Edward and Mary next day.</p>
-<p>The centipedes were still immured, and
-Edward made tentative overtures to David on
-the subject of broaching the case after dinner.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward is the soul of hospitality,&rdquo; David said
-afterwards. &ldquo;He keeps his best to the end.
-First, a positively good dinner, then some comparatively
-enjoyable music, and, last of all, the
-superlatively enthralling centipedes.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_208">208</div>
-<p>At the time, he complied with a very good
-grace. He even contrived a respectable degree
-of enthusiasm when the subject came up.</p>
-<p>It was Mary who insisted on the comparatively
-agreeable music.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No&mdash;I will not have you two going off by
-yourselves the moment you&rsquo;ve swallowed your
-dinner. It&rsquo;s not <i>good</i> for people. Edward will
-certainly have indigestion&mdash;yes, Edward, you
-know you will. Come and have coffee with us in
-a proper and decent fashion, and we&rsquo;ll have some
-music, and then you shall do anything you like,
-and I&rsquo;ll talk to Elizabeth.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward sang only one song, and then said that
-he was hoarse, which was not true. But Elizabeth
-was glad when the door closed upon him and
-David, for the song Edward had sung was the one
-thing on earth which she felt least able to hear.
-He sang, <i>O Moon of my Delight</i>, transposed by
-Mary to suit his voice, and he sang it with his
-usual tuneful correctness.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_209">209</div>
-<p>Elizabeth looked up only once, and that was
-just at the end. David was looking at her with a
-frown of perplexity. But as Edward remarked
-that he was hoarse, David passed his hand across
-his eyes for a moment, as if to brush something
-away, and rose with alacrity to leave the
-room.</p>
-<p>When they were gone Mary drew a chair close
-to her sister and sat down. She was rather silent
-for a time, and Elizabeth was beginning to find it
-hard to keep her own thoughts at bay, when Mary
-said in a new, gentle voice:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, I&rsquo;m so <i>happy</i>.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Are you, Molly?&rdquo; She spoke rather absently,
-and Mary became softly offended.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you want to know why, Liz? I don&rsquo;t
-believe you care a bit. I don&rsquo;t believe you&rsquo;d
-mind if I were ever so miserable, now that you&rsquo;ve
-got David, and are happy yourself!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth came back to her surroundings.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly, what a goose you are, and what a
-monster you make me out. What is it, Mollykins,
-tell me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve a great mind not to. I don&rsquo;t believe
-you really care. I wouldn&rsquo;t tell you a word, only
-I can&rsquo;t help it. Oh, Liz, I&rsquo;m going to have a
-baby, and I thought I never should. I was making
-myself <i>wretched</i> about it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She caught Elizabeth&rsquo;s hand and squeezed it.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_210">210</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Liz, be glad for me. I&rsquo;m so glad and
-happy, and I want some one to be glad too.
-You don&rsquo;t know how I&rsquo;ve wanted it. No one
-knows. I&rsquo;ve simply hated all the people in the
-<i>Morning Post</i> who had babies. I&rsquo;ve not even
-read the first column for weeks, and when Sybil
-Delamere sent me an invitation to her baby&rsquo;s
-christening&mdash;she was married the same day I was,
-you know&mdash;I just tore it up and <i>burnt</i> it. And
-now it&rsquo;s really coming to me, and you&rsquo;re to be
-glad for me, Liz.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, darling, I <i>am</i> glad&mdash;so glad.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Really?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary looked up into her sister&rsquo;s face, searchingly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re thinking of me, <i>really</i> of me&mdash;not
-about David, as you were just now? Oh, yes, I
-knew.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Really, Molly, mayn&rsquo;t I think of my own
-husband?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not when I&rsquo;m telling you about a thing like
-this,&rdquo; said Mary. &ldquo;Liz, you are the first person
-I have told, the <i>very</i> first.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth did not allow her thoughts to wander
-again. As they talked, the rain beat heavily
-against the windows, and they heard the rush of
-it in the gutters below.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_211">211</div>
-<p>&ldquo;What a pity,&rdquo; Mary cried. &ldquo;How quickly it
-has come up, and last night was so lovely. Did
-you see the moon? And to-night it is full.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, to-night it is full,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>Edward and Mary came down to see their
-guests off. Edward shut the door behind them.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What a night!&rdquo; he exclaimed. But Mary
-came close and whispered:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve told her.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Have you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward&rsquo;s tone was just the least shade perfunctory.
-He slid home the bolt of the door and
-turning, caught Mary in his arms and hugged her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;O Mary, <i>darling</i>!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary glowed, responsive.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;O Mary, darling, it really <i>is</i> a new spider,&rdquo;
-he cried.</p>
-<p>David and Elizabeth walked home in a steady
-downpour. Mary had lent her overshoes, and she
-had tucked up her dress under a mackintosh of
-Edward&rsquo;s. There was much merriment over
-their departure with a large umbrella between
-them, but as they walked home, they both grew
-silent. Elizabeth said good-night in the hall,
-and ran up to her room. To-night he would not
-come. Oh, to-night she felt quite sure that he
-would not come. It was dark. She heard the
-rain falling into the river, and she could just see
-how the trees bent in the rush of it. And yet she
-sat for an hour, by her window, in the dark, waiting
-breathlessly for that which would not happen.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_212">212</div>
-<p>The time went slowly by. The rain fell, and it
-was cold. Elizabeth lay down in the great square
-bed, and presently she slept, lulled by the steady
-dropping of the rain. She slept, and in her sleep
-she dreamed that she was sinking fathoms deep
-in a stormy, angry sea. Far overhead, she could
-hear the clash of the waves, and the long, long
-sullen roar of the swelling storm. And she went
-down and down into a black darkness that was
-deeper than any night&mdash;down, till she lost the
-roar of the storm above, down until all sound was
-gone, and she was alone in a black silence that
-would never lift or break again. Her soul was
-cold and blind, and most unendurably alone.
-Then something touched her, something that was
-warm. There came upon her that strange sense
-of home-coming, which comes to us in dreams, when
-love comes back to us across the sundering years,
-and all the pains of life, the pains of death, vanish
-and are gone, and we are come home&mdash;home to
-the place where we would be.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_213">213</div>
-<p>In her dream Elizabeth was come home. It was
-so long, so long, that she had wandered&mdash;so many
-years, so many lands&mdash;such weary feet and such a
-weary way. Now she was come home.</p>
-<p>She stirred and opened her eyes. The rain had
-ceased. The room was dark, but the moon shone,
-for a single shaft struck between the curtains and
-lay above the bed like a silver feather dropped
-from some great passing wing.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was awake. She saw these things.
-She was come home. David&rsquo;s arms were about
-her in the darkness.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_214">214</div>
-<h2 id="c20"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XX</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE WOMAN OF THE DREAM</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Oh, was it in the dead of night,</p>
-<p class="t">Or in the dark before the day,</p>
-<p class="t0">You came to me and kneeling, knew</p>
-<p class="t">The thing that I would never say?</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">There was no star, nor any moon,</p>
-<p class="t">There was no light from pole to pole,</p>
-<p class="t0">And yet you saw the secret thing,</p>
-<p class="t">That I had hid within my soul.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">You saw the secret and the shrine,</p>
-<p class="t">You bowed your head and went your way&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t0">Oh, was it in the dead of night,</p>
-<p class="t">Or in the dark that brings the day?</p>
-</div>
-<p>For the next fortnight Elizabeth lived in a
-dream from which she scarcely woke by day.
-The dream life&mdash;the dream love&mdash;the dream itself&mdash;these
-became her life. In the moments that
-came nearest the waking she trembled, because if
-the dream was her life, the waking would be death.
-But for the rest of the time she walked in a trance.
-Earth budded, and the birds built nests. The
-green of woodland places went down under a
-flood of bluebells. The children made cowslip
-balls. All day long the sun shone out of a blue
-sky, and at night David came to her. Always he
-came at night, and went away in the dawn. And
-he remembered nothing.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_215">215</div>
-<p>Once she put her face to his in the darkness,
-and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, David, won&rsquo;t you remember&mdash;won&rsquo;t you
-ever remember? Am I only the Woman of the
-Dream? When will you remember?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Then David was troubled in his dream, and
-stirred and went from her an hour before the
-time of his going.</p>
-<p>Towards the end of the fortnight her trance
-wore thin. It was then that everything she saw or
-read seemed to press in upon one sore spot. If she
-went to the Mottisfonts&rsquo;, there was Mary with
-her talk of Edward and the baby. Edward!&mdash;Elizabeth
-could have laughed; but the laughter
-went too. If there were not much of Edward, at
-least Mary had all that there was. And the child&mdash;did
-not she, too, desire children? But the child
-of a dream. How could she give to David the
-child of a dream already forgotten? If she walked,
-there were lovers in every lane, young lovers, who
-loved each other by day and in the eye of the
-sun. If she took up a book&mdash;once what she read
-was:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_216">216</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Come to me in my dreams, and then</p>
-<p class="t0">By day I shall be well again!</p>
-<p class="t0">For then the night will more than pay</p>
-<p class="t0">The hopeless longing of the day.</p>
-</div>
-<p>and another time, Kingsley&rsquo;s <i>Dolcino to Margaret</i>.
-Then came a day when she opened her Bible and
-read:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If a man walk in the night, he stumbleth,
-because there is no light in him.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>That day she came broad awake. The daze
-passed from her. Her brain was clear, and her
-conscience&mdash;the inner vision rose before her,
-showing her an image troubled and confused.
-What had she done? And what was she doing
-now? Day by day David looked at her with the
-eyes of a friend, and night by night he came to
-her, the lover of a dream. Which was the reality?
-Which was the real David? If the David of the
-dream were real, conscious in sleep of some mysterious
-oneness, the sense of which was lost in the
-glare of day&mdash;then she could wait, and bear, and
-hope, till the realisation was so strong that the
-sun might shine upon it and show to David awake
-what the sleeping David knew.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_217">217</div>
-<p>But if the David of the dream were not the
-real David, then what was she? Mistress and
-no wife&mdash;the mistress of a dream mood that
-never touched Reality at all.</p>
-<p>Two scalding tears in Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes&mdash;two
-and no more. The others burned her heart.</p>
-<p>And the thought stayed with her.</p>
-<p>That evening after dinner Elizabeth looked up
-from her embroidery. The silence had grown to
-be too full of thoughts. She could not bear it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What are you reading, David?&rdquo; she asked.</p>
-<p>He laughed and said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Sentimental poetry, ma&rsquo;am. Would you have
-suspected me of it? I find it very soothing.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She paused, and then said with a flutter in her
-throat:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you ever write poetry now, David? You
-used to.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I remember boring you with it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He coloured a little as he spoke.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But since then?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Show me some&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not for the world.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why not?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_218">218</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Poetry is such an awful give away. How any
-one ever dares to publish any, I don&rsquo;t know. I
-suppose they get hardened. But one&rsquo;s most
-private letters aren&rsquo;t a patch on it. One puts
-down all one&rsquo;s grumbles, one&rsquo;s moonstruck fancies,
-the ravings of one&rsquo;s inanest moments. Mine are
-not for circulation, thanks.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth did not laugh. Instead she said,
-quite seriously,</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, I wish you would show me some of it.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He looked rather surprised, but got up, and
-presently came back with some papers in his hand,
-and threw them into her lap.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;There. There&rsquo;s one there that&rsquo;s rather odd.
-It&rsquo;s rotten poetry, but it gave me the oddest
-feelings when I wrote it. See if it does the same
-to you,&rdquo; and he laughed.</p>
-<p>There were three poems in Elizabeth&rsquo;s lap.
-The first was a vigorous bit of work&mdash;a ballad
-with a good ballad swing to it. Elizabeth read it
-and applauded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;This is much better than your old things,&rdquo;
-she said, and he was manifestly pleased.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_219">219</div>
-<p>The next was a set of clever verses on a political
-topic of passing interest. Elizabeth laughed over
-it and laid it aside. Her thoughts were pleasantly
-diverted. Anything was welcome that brought
-her nearer to the David of the day.</p>
-<p>She took up the third poem. It was called:</p>
-<h3><span class="sc">Egypt</span></h3>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Egypt sands are burning hot.</p>
-<p class="t">Burning hot and dry,</p>
-<p class="t0">How they scorched us as we worked,</p>
-<p class="t">Toiling, you and I,</p>
-<p class="t0">When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Heaven like hammered brass above,</p>
-<p class="t">Earth like brass below,</p>
-<p class="t0">How the sweat of torment ran,</p>
-<p class="t">All those years ago,</p>
-<p class="t0">When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">When the dreadful day was done,</p>
-<p class="t">Night was like your eyes,</p>
-<p class="t0">Sweet and cool and comforting&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t">We were very wise,</p>
-<p class="t0">When we built the Pyramid in Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">We were very wise, my dear,</p>
-<p class="t">Children, lovers, gods,</p>
-<p class="t0">Where&rsquo;s the wisdom that we knew,</p>
-<p class="t">With our world at odds,</p>
-<p class="t0">When we built the Pyramid in Egypt?</p>
-</div>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_220">220</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Now your hand is strange to mine,</p>
-<p class="t">Now you heed me not,</p>
-<p class="t0">Life and death and love and pain,</p>
-<p class="t">You have quite forgot,</p>
-<p class="t0">You have quite forgotten me and Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">I would bear it all again,</p>
-<p class="t">Just to take your hand,</p>
-<p class="t0">Bend my body to the whip,</p>
-<p class="t">Tread the burning sand,</p>
-<p class="t0">Build another Pyramid in Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Toiling, toiling, all the day,</p>
-<p class="t">Loving you by night,</p>
-<p class="t0">I&rsquo;d go back three thousand years</p>
-<p class="t">If I only might,&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t0">Back to toil and pain and you and Egypt.</p>
-</div>
-<p>When she looked up at the end, David spoke
-at once.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;what does it say to you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t quite know.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It set up one of those curious thought-waves.
-One seems to remember something out of an
-extraordinarily distant past. Have you ever felt
-it? I believe most people have. There are all
-sorts of theories to account for it. The two sides
-of the brain working unequally, and several others.
-But the impression is common enough, and the
-theories have been made to fit it. Of course the
-one that fits most happily is the hopelessly unscientific
-one of reincarnation. Well, my thought-wave
-took me back to Egypt and&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_221">221</div>
-<p>He hesitated.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Tell me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s voice was eager.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, nothing.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, tell me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He laughed at her earnestness.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, then&mdash;I saw the woman&rsquo;s eyes.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;They were grey. That&rsquo;s all. And I thought
-it odd.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He broke off, and Elizabeth asked no more.
-She knew very well why he had thought it odd
-that the woman&rsquo;s eyes should be grey. The poems
-were dated, and <i>Egypt</i> bore the date of a year
-ago. He was in love with Mary then, and Mary&rsquo;s
-eyes were dark&mdash;dark hazel eyes.</p>
-<p>That night she woke from a dream of Mary,
-and heard David whispering a name in his sleep,
-but she could not catch the name. The old
-shamed dread and horror came upon her, strong
-and unbroken. She slipped from bed, and stood
-by the window, panting for breath. And out of
-the darkness David called to her:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_222">222</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Love, where are you gone to?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>If he would say her name&mdash;if he would only say
-her name. She had no words to answer him, but
-she heard him rise and come to her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why did you go away?&rdquo; he said, touching
-her. And as she had done once before, Elizabeth
-cried out.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Who am I, David?&mdash;tell me! Am I Mary?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He repeated the name slowly, and each repetition
-was a wound.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he said, wonderingly, &ldquo;there is no
-Mary in the Dream. There are only you and I&mdash;and
-you are Love&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And if I went out of the Dream?&rdquo; said Elizabeth,
-leaning against his breast. The comfort of
-his touch stole back into her heart. Her breathing steadied.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then I would come and find you,&rdquo; said David
-Blake.</p>
-<p>It was the next day that Agneta&rsquo;s letter came.
-Elizabeth opened it at breakfast and exclaimed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She lifted a face of distress.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, should you mind if I were to go away
-for a little? Agneta wants me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Agneta?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_223">223</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, Agneta Mainwaring. You remember, I
-used to go and stay with the Mainwarings in
-Devonshire.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I remember. What&rsquo;s the matter with
-her?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;She is engaged to Douglas Strange, the explorer,
-and there are&mdash;rumours that his whole
-party has been massacred. He was working across
-Africa. She wants me to come to her. I think I
-must. You don&rsquo;t mind, do you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, of course not. When do you want to go?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I should like to go to-day. I could send her
-a wire,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;I hope it&rsquo;s only a
-rumour, and not true, but I must go.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David nodded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t take it too much to heart, that&rsquo;s all,&rdquo;
-he said.</p>
-<p>He said good-bye to her before he went out,
-told her to take care of herself, asked her to write,
-and inquired if she wanted any money.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_224">224</div>
-<p>When he had gone, Elizabeth told herself that
-this was the end of the Dream. She could drift no
-more with the tide of that moon-watched sea.
-She must think things out and come to some
-decision. Hitherto, if she thought by day, the
-night with its glamour threw over her thoughts a
-rainbow mist that hid and confused them. Now
-Agneta needed her, there would be work for her to
-do. And she would not see David again until
-she could look her conscience in the face.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_225">225</div>
-<h2 id="c21"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XXI</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">ELIZABETH BLAKE</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">Oh, that I had wings, yea wings like a dove,</p>
-<p class="t">Then would I flee away and be at rest;</p>
-<p class="t0">Lo, the dove hath wings because she is a dove,</p>
-<p class="t">God gave her wings and bade her build her nest.</p>
-<p class="t0">Thy wings are stronger far, strong wings of love,</p>
-<p class="t">Thy home is sure in His unchanging rest.</p>
-</div>
-<p>Elizabeth went up to London by the 12.22,
-which is a fast train, and only stops once.</p>
-<p>She found Agneta, worn, tired, and cross.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_226">226</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Thank Heaven, you&rsquo;ve come, Lizabeth,&rdquo;
-she said. &ldquo;All my relations have been to see me.
-They are so kind. They are so <i>dreadfully</i> kind,
-and they all talk about its being God&rsquo;s Will, and
-tell me what a beautiful thing resignation is. If I
-believed in a God who arranged for people to
-murder each other in order to give some one else
-a moral lesson, I&rsquo;d shoot myself. I really would.
-And resignation is a perfectly horrible thing. I
-do think I must be getting a little better than I
-used to be, because I wasn&rsquo;t even rude to Aunt
-Henrietta, who told me I ought not to repine,
-because all was for the best. She said there
-were many trials in the married state, and that
-those who did not marry were spared the sorrow of
-losing a child or having an unfaithful husband. I
-really wasn&rsquo;t rude to her, Lizabeth&mdash;I swear I
-wasn&rsquo;t. But when I saw my cousin, Mabel
-Aston, coming up the street&mdash;you always can see
-her a mile off&mdash;I told Jane to say that I was very
-sorry, but I really couldn&rsquo;t see any one. Mabel
-won&rsquo;t ever forgive me, because all the other
-relations will tell her that I saw them. I told them
-every one that I was perfectly certain that Douglas
-was all right. And so I am. Yes, really. But,
-oh, Lizabeth, how I do hate the newspapers.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I shouldn&rsquo;t read them,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t! Nothing would induce me to. But
-I can&rsquo;t stop my relations from quoting reams of
-them, verbatim. By the by, do you mind dining
-at seven to-night? I want to go to church. I
-don&rsquo;t want you or Louis to come. Heavens,
-Lizabeth, you&rsquo;ve no idea what a relief it is not to
-have to be polite, and say you want people when
-you don&rsquo;t.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_227">227</div>
-<p>When Agneta had gone out Elizabeth talked to
-Louis for a little, and then read. Presently she
-stopped reading and leaned back with closed eyes,
-thinking first of Agneta, then of herself and David.
-Louis&rsquo;s voice broke in upon her thoughts.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Lizabeth, what <i>is</i> it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She was startled.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, I was just thinking.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He frowned.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is the good?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I told you I
-could see. You&rsquo;re troubled, horribly troubled
-about something. And it&rsquo;s not Agneta. What
-is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was rather pale.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Louis,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;please don&rsquo;t. I&rsquo;d
-rather you didn&rsquo;t. And it&rsquo;s not what you think.
-It&rsquo;s not really a trouble. I&rsquo;m puzzled. I don&rsquo;t
-know what to do. There&rsquo;s something I have to
-think out. And it&rsquo;s not clear&mdash;I can&rsquo;t quite
-see&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Louis regarded her seriously.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;If any man lack wisdom,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;That&rsquo;s
-a pretty good thing in the pike-staff line. Good
-Lord, fancy me preaching to you. It&rsquo;s amusing,
-isn&rsquo;t it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He laughed a little.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth nodded.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You can go on,&rdquo; she said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_228">228</div>
-<p>He considered.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know that I&rsquo;ve got anything more to
-say except that&mdash;things that puzzle one&mdash;there&rsquo;s
-always the touchstone of reality. And things
-one doesn&rsquo;t want to do because they&rsquo;re difficult,
-or because they hurt, or because they take us
-away from something we&rsquo;ve set our heart on&mdash;well&mdash;if
-they&rsquo;re right, they&rsquo;re right, and there&rsquo;s
-an end of it. And the right thing, well, it&rsquo;s the
-best thing all round. And when we get where we
-can see it properly, it&rsquo;s&mdash;well, it&rsquo;s trumps all
-right.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth nodded again.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Thank you, Louis,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve been
-shirking. I think I&rsquo;ve really known it all along.
-Only when one shirks, it&rsquo;s part of it to wrap oneself
-up in a sort of mist, and call everything by a
-wrong name. I&rsquo;ve got to change my labels....&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Her voice died away, and they sat silent until
-Agneta&rsquo;s key was heard in the latch. She came
-in looking rested.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nice church?&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Agneta, &ldquo;very nice. I feel better.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_229">229</div>
-<p>During the week that followed, Elizabeth had
-very little time to spare for her own concerns, and
-Agneta clung to her and clung to hope, and day
-by day the hope grew fainter. It was the half-hours
-when they waited for the telephone bell to
-ring that brought the grey threads into Agneta&rsquo;s
-hair. Twice daily Louis rang up, and each time,
-after the same agonising suspense, came the same
-message, &ldquo;No news yet.&rdquo; Towards the end of the
-week, there was a wire to say that a rumour had
-reached the coast that Mr. Strange was alive and
-on his way down the river.</p>
-<p>It was then that Agneta broke down. Whilst
-all had despaired, she had held desperately to
-hope, but when Louis followed his message home,
-he found Agneta with her head in Elizabeth&rsquo;s lap,
-weeping slow, hopeless tears.</p>
-<p>Then, forty-eight hours later, Douglas Strange
-himself cabled in code to say that he had abandoned
-part of his journey owing to a native
-rising, and was returning at once to England.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And now, Lizabeth,&rdquo; said Agneta, &ldquo;now
-your visit begins, please. This hasn&rsquo;t been a
-visit, it has been purgatory. I&rsquo;m sure we&rsquo;ve both
-expiated all the sins we&rsquo;ve ever committed or are
-likely to commit. Louis, take the receiver off that
-brute of a telephone. I shall <i>never, never</i> hear a
-telephone bell again without wanting to scream.
-Lizabeth, let&rsquo;s go to a music hall.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_230">230</div>
-<p>Next day Agneta said suddenly:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Lizabeth, what is it?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is what?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta&rsquo;s little dark face became serious.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Lizabeth, I&rsquo;ve been a beast. I&rsquo;ve only been
-thinking about myself. Now it&rsquo;s your turn.
-What&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was silent.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mayn&rsquo;t I ask? Do you mind?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth shook her head.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Which is the &lsquo;no&rsquo; for?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Both,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I mustn&rsquo;t ask then. You&rsquo;d rather not talk
-about it? Really?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, really, Neta, dear.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Right you are.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta was silent for a few minutes. They
-were sitting together in the firelight, and she
-watched the play of light and shade upon Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-face. It was beautiful, but troubled.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Lizabeth, you used not to be beautiful, but
-you are beautiful now,&rdquo; she said suddenly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Am I?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I always loved your face, but it wasn&rsquo;t
-really beautiful. Now I think it is.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Anything else?&rdquo; Elizabeth laughed a little.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_231">231</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, the patient look has gone. You used to
-look so patient that it <i>hurt</i>. As if you were
-carrying a heavy load and just knew you had got
-to carry it without making any fuss.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Issachar, in fact&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, not then, but I&rsquo;m not so sure now. I
-<i>think</i> there <i>are</i> two burdens now.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth laid her hand on Agneta&rsquo;s lips.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Agneta, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
-Stop thought-reading this very minute. I never
-gave you leave.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Sorry.&rdquo; Agneta kissed the hand against her
-lips and laid it back in Elizabeth&rsquo;s lap. &ldquo;Oh,
-Lizabeth, <i>why</i> didn&rsquo;t you marry Louis?&rdquo; she
-said, and Elizabeth saw that her eyes were full of
-tears. The firelight danced on a brilliant, falling
-drop.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because I love David,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.
-&ldquo;And love is worth while, Agneta. It is very
-well worth while. You knew it was when you
-thought that Douglas was dead. Would you
-have gone back to a year ago?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Ah, Lizabeth, don&rsquo;t,&rdquo; said Agneta.</p>
-<p>She leaned her head against Elizabeth&rsquo;s knee
-and was still.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_232">232</div>
-<p>All that week, Elizabeth slept little and thought
-much. And her thought was prayer. She did
-not kneel when she prayed, and she had her own
-idea of what prayer should be. Not petition.
-The Kingdom of Heaven is about us. We have
-but to open our eyes and take what is our
-own. Therefore not petition. What Elizabeth
-called prayer was far more like taking something
-out of the darkness, to look at it in the light.
-And before the light, all things evil, all things
-that were not good and not of God, vanished and
-were not. If thine eye be single, thy whole body
-shall be full of light. In this manner, David&rsquo;s
-sleeplessness had been changed to rest and healing,
-and in this same manner, Elizabeth now knew that
-she must test the strange dream-state in which
-David loved her. And in her heart of hearts she
-did not think that it would stand the test. She
-believed that, subjected to this form of prayer,
-the dream would vanish and she be left alone.</p>
-<p>She faced the probability, and facing it, she
-prayed for light, for wisdom, for the Reality that
-annihilates the shadows of man&rsquo;s thought. When
-she used words at all, they were the words of St.
-Patrick&rsquo;s prayer:</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_233">233</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">I bind to myself to-day,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Power of God to protect me,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Might of God to uphold me,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Wisdom of God to guide me,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Light of God to shine upon me,</p>
-<p class="t0">The Love of God to encompass me.</p>
-</div>
-<p>During these days Agneta looked at her
-anxiously, but she asked no questions at all,
-and Elizabeth loved her for it.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth went home on the 15th of June.
-After hard struggle, she had come into a place
-of clear vision. If the dream stood the test, if in
-spite of all her strivings towards Truth, David still
-came to her, she would take the dream to be an
-earnest of some future waking. If the dream
-ceased, if David came no more, then she must
-cast her bread of love upon the waters of the
-Infinite, God only knowing, if after many days,
-she should be fed.</p>
-<p>David was very much pleased to have her
-back. He told her so with a laugh&mdash;confessed
-that he had missed her.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_234">234</div>
-<p>When Elizabeth went to her room that night,
-she sat down on the window-seat and watched. It
-had rained, but the night was clear again. She
-looked from the window, and the midsummer
-beauty slid into her soul. The rain had washed
-the sky to an unearthly translucent purity, but
-out of the west streamed a radiance of turquoise
-light. It filled the night, and as it mounted
-towards the zenith, the throbbing colour passed
-by imperceptible degrees into a sapphire haze.
-The horizon was a ghostly line of far, pure emerald.
-This transfiguring glow had all the sunset&rsquo;s fire,
-only there was neither red nor gold in it. The
-ether itself flamed, and the colour of that flame
-was blue. It was the light of vision, the very light
-of a Midsummer&rsquo;s Dream. The cloud that had shed
-the rain brooded apart with wings of folded gloom.
-Two or three drifting feathers of dark grey vapour
-barred the burning blue. Perishably fine, they
-dissolved against the glow, and one amazing star
-showed translucent at the vapour&rsquo;s edge, now
-veiled, now blazing out as the mist wavered and
-withdrew from so much brightness. A night for
-love, a night for lovers&rsquo; dreams.</p>
-<p>Yearning came upon Elizabeth like a flood.
-Just once more to see him look at her with love.
-Just once more&mdash;once more, to feel his arms, his
-kiss&mdash;to weep upon his breast and say farewell.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_235">235</div>
-<p>She put her hand out waveringly until it touched
-the wall. She shut her eyes against the beauty of
-the night, and strove with the longing that rent
-her. Her lips framed broken words. She said
-them over and over again until the tumult died
-in her, and she was mistress of her thoughts.
-Immortal love could never lose by Truth.</p>
-<p>Now she could look again upon the night. The
-trees were very black. The wind stirred them.
-The sky was full of light made mystical. Which
-of the temples that man has built, has light for
-its walls, and cloud and fire for its pillars? In
-which of them has the sun his tabernacle, through
-which of them does the moon pass, by a path of
-silver adoration? What altar is served by the
-rushing winds and lighted by the stars? In all
-the temples that man has made, man bows his
-head and worships, but in the Temple of the
-Universe it is the Heavens themselves that declare
-the Glory of God.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s thought rose up and up. In the
-divine peace it rested and was stilled.</p>
-<p>And David did not come.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_236">236</div>
-<h2 id="c22"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XXII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">AFTER THE DREAM</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">In Him we live, He is our Source, our Spring,</p>
-<p class="t">And we, His fashioning,</p>
-<p class="t0">We have no sight except by His foreseeing,</p>
-<p class="t">In Him we live and move and have our being,</p>
-<p class="t0">He spake the Word, and lo! Creation stood,</p>
-<p class="t">And God said, It is good.</p>
-</div>
-<p>David came no more. The dream was done.
-During the summer days there rang continually
-in Elizabeth&rsquo;s ears the words of a song&mdash;one
-of Christina&rsquo;s wonderful songs that sing themselves
-with no other music at all.</p>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">The hope I dreamed of was a dream,</p>
-<p class="t">Was but a dream, and now I wake</p>
-<p class="t0">Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,</p>
-<p class="t">For a dream&rsquo;s sake.</p>
-</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Exceeding comfortless.&rdquo; Yes, there were
-hours when that was true. She had taken her
-heart and broken it for Truth&rsquo;s sake, and the
-broken thing cried aloud of its hurt. Only by
-much striving could she still it and find peace.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_237">237</div>
-<p>The glamour of the June days was gone too.
-July was a wet and stormy month, and Elizabeth
-was thankful for the rain and the cold, at which
-all the world was grumbling.</p>
-<p>Mary came in one July day with a face that
-matched the weather.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why, Molly,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, kissing her,
-&ldquo;what&rsquo;s the matter, child?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary might have asked the same question,
-but she was a great deal too much taken up with
-her own affairs.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Edward and I have quarrelled,&rdquo; she said
-with a sob in the words, and sitting down, she
-burst into uncontrollable tears.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;But what is it all about?&rdquo; asked Elizabeth,
-with her arm around her sister. &ldquo;Molly, do
-hush. It is so bad for you. What has Edward
-done?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Men are brutes,&rdquo; declared Mary.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now, I&rsquo;m sure Edward isn&rsquo;t,&rdquo; returned
-Elizabeth, with real conviction.</p>
-<p>Mary sat up.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;He is,&rdquo; she declared. &ldquo;No, Liz, just listen.
-It was all over baby&rsquo;s name.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What, already?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_238">238</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, of course, one plans things. If one
-doesn&rsquo;t, well, there was Dorothy Jackson&mdash;don&rsquo;t
-you remember? She was very ill, and the baby
-had to be christened in a hurry, because they
-didn&rsquo;t think it was going to live. And nobody
-thought the name mattered, so the clergyman just
-gave it the first name that came into his head, and
-the baby didn&rsquo;t die after all, and when Dorothy
-found she&rsquo;d got to go through life with a daughter
-called Harriet, she very nearly died all over again.
-So, you see, one has to think of things. So I had
-thought of a whole lot of names, and last night I
-said to Edward, &lsquo;What shall we call it?&rsquo; and he
-looked awfully pleased and said, &lsquo;What do you
-think?&rsquo; And I said, &lsquo;What would you like best?&rsquo;
-And he said, &lsquo;I&rsquo;d like it to be called after you,
-Mary, darling. I got Jack Webster&rsquo;s answer to-day,
-and he says I may call it anything I like.&rsquo;
-Well, of <i>course</i>, I didn&rsquo;t see what it had to do with
-Jack Webster, but I thought Edward must have
-asked him to be godfather. I was rather put
-out. I didn&rsquo;t think it quite <i>nice</i>, beforehand,
-you know.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The bright colour of indignation had come into
-Mary&rsquo;s cheeks, and she spoke with great energy.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_239">239</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Of <i>course</i>, I just thought that, and then Edward
-said, &lsquo;So it shall be called after you&mdash;Arachne
-Mariana.&rsquo; I thought what <i>hideous</i> names, but
-all I said was, &lsquo;Oh, darling, but I want a boy&rsquo;;
-and do you know, Liz, Edward had been talking
-about a spider all the time&mdash;the spider that Jack
-Webster sent him. I don&rsquo;t believe he cares
-nearly as much for the baby, I really don&rsquo;t, and I
-wish I was <i>dead</i>.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary sobbed afresh, and it took Elizabeth a
-good deal of her time to pacify her.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill brought in tea, it being Sarah&rsquo;s
-afternoon out. When she was taking away the
-tea-things, after Mary had gone, she observed:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mrs. Mottisfont, she do look pale, ma&rsquo;am.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mrs. Mottisfont is going to have a baby,&rdquo;
-said Elizabeth, smiling.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill appeared to dismiss Mary&rsquo;s
-baby with a slight wave of the hand.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I &rsquo;ad a cousin as &rsquo;ad twenty-three,&rdquo; she
-observed in tones of lofty detachment.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not all at once?&rdquo; said Elizabeth faintly.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill took no notice of this remark.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, twenty-three, pore soul. And when she
-wasn&rsquo;t &rsquo;aving of them, she was burying of them.
-Ten she buried, and thirteen she reared, and
-many&rsquo;s the time I&rsquo;ve &rsquo;eard &rsquo;er say, she didn&rsquo;t
-know which was the most trouble.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_240">240</div>
-<p>She went out with the tray, and later, when
-Sarah had returned, she repeated Mrs. Blake&rsquo;s
-information in tones of sarcasm.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;&lsquo;There&rsquo;s to be a baby at the Mottisfonts&rsquo;,&rsquo;
-she says, as if I didn&rsquo;t know that. And I says,
-&lsquo;Yes, ma&rsquo;am,&rsquo; and that&rsquo;s all as passed.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill had a way of forgetting her own
-not inconsiderable contributions to a conversation.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_241">241</div>
-<p>&ldquo;&lsquo;Yes, ma&rsquo;am,&rsquo; I says, expecting every moment
-as she&rsquo;d up and say, &rsquo;and one &rsquo;ere, too, Mrs.
-Havergill,&rsquo; but no, not a blessed word, and me sure
-of it for weeks. But there&mdash;they&rsquo;re all the same
-with the first, every one&rsquo;s to be blind and deaf.
-All the same, Sarah, my girl, if she don&rsquo;t want
-it talked about, she don&rsquo;t, so just you mind and
-don&rsquo;t talk, not if she don&rsquo;t say nothing till the
-christening&rsquo;s ordered.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_242">242</div>
-<p>When Elizabeth knew that she was going to
-have a child, her first thought was, &ldquo;Now, I
-must tell David,&rdquo; and her next, &ldquo;How can I tell
-him, how can I possibly tell him?&rdquo; She lay on
-her bed in the darkness and faced the situation.
-If she told David, and he did not believe her&mdash;that
-was possible, but not probable. If she told
-him, and he believed her as to the facts&mdash;but
-believed also that this strange development was
-due in some way to some influence of hers&mdash;conscious
-or unconscious hypnotism&mdash;the thought
-broke off half-way. If he believed this&mdash;and it was
-likely that he would believe it&mdash;Elizabeth covered
-her eyes with her hand. Even the darkness was
-no shield. How should she meet David&rsquo;s eyes
-in the light, if he were to believe this? What
-would he think of her? What must he think of
-her? She began to weep slow tears of shame
-and agony. What was she to do? To wait
-until some accident branded her in David&rsquo;s eyes,
-or to go to him with a most unbelievable tale?
-She tried to find words that she could say, and
-she could find none. Her flesh shrank, and
-she knew that she could not do it. There were
-no words. The tears ran slowly, very slowly,
-between her fingers. Elizabeth was cold. The
-room was full of the empty dark. All the world
-was dark and empty too. She lay quite still for
-a very long time. Then there came upon her a
-curious gradual sense of companionship. It grew
-continually. At the last, she took her hands from
-before her face and opened her eyes. And there
-was a light in the room. It shed no glow on anything&mdash;it
-was just a light by itself. A steady,
-golden light. It was not moonlight, for there was
-no moon. Elizabeth lay and looked at it. It was
-very radiant and very soft. She ceased to weep
-and she ceased to be troubled. She knew with a
-certainty that never faltered again, that she and
-David were one. Whether he would become conscious
-of their oneness during the space of this
-short mortal dream, she did not know, but it had
-ceased to matter. The thing that had tormented
-her was her own doubt. Now that was stilled
-for ever&mdash;Love walked again among the realities,
-pure and unashamed. The things of Time&mdash;the
-mistakes, the illusions, the shadows of Time&mdash;moved
-in a little misty dream, that could not
-touch her. Elizabeth turned on her side. She
-was warm and she was comforted.</p>
-<p>She slept.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_243">243</div>
-<h2 id="c23"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XXIII</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">ELIZABETH WAITS</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">And they that have seen and heard,</p>
-<p class="t">Have wrested a gift from Fate</p>
-<p class="t0">That no man taketh away.</p>
-<p class="t">For they hold in their hands the key,</p>
-<p class="t0">To all that is this-side Death,</p>
-<p class="t">And they count it as dust by the way,</p>
-<p class="t0">As small dust, driven before the breath</p>
-<p class="t">Of Winds that blow to the day.</p>
-</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you remember my telling you about my
-dream?&rdquo; said David, next day. He spoke
-quite suddenly, looking up from a letter that he
-was writing.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I remember,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. She even
-smiled a little.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_244">244</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, it was so odd&mdash;I really don&rsquo;t know what
-made me think of it just now, but it happened to
-come into my head&mdash;do you know that I dreamt
-it every night for about a fortnight? That was
-in May. I have never done such a thing before.
-Then it stopped again quite suddenly, and I
-haven&rsquo;t dreamt it since. I wonder whether
-speaking of it to you&mdash;&rdquo; he broke off.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I wonder,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You see it came again and again. And the
-strange part was that I used to wake in the morning
-feeling as if there was a lot more of it. A lot
-more than there used to be. Things I couldn&rsquo;t
-remember&mdash;I don&rsquo;t know why I tell you this.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It interests me,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You know how one forgets a dream, and then,
-quite suddenly, you just don&rsquo;t remember it. It&rsquo;s
-the queerest thing&mdash;something gets the impression,
-but the brain doesn&rsquo;t record it. It&rsquo;s most amazingly
-provoking. Just now, while I was writing
-to Fossett, bits of something came over me like
-a flash. And now it&rsquo;s gone again. Do you ever
-dream?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Sometimes,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>This was her time to tell him. But Elizabeth
-did not tell him. It seemed to her that she had
-been told, quite definitely, to wait, and she was
-dimly aware of the reason. The time was not yet.</p>
-<p>David finished his letter. Then he said:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you want to go away this summer?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, a little surprised. &ldquo;I
-don&rsquo;t think I do. Why?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_245">245</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Most people seem to go away. Mary would
-like you to go with her, wouldn&rsquo;t she?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, but I&rsquo;ve told her I don&rsquo;t want to go.
-She won&rsquo;t be alone, you know, now that Edward
-finds that he can get away.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Poor old Edward,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;A month ago
-the business couldn&rsquo;t get on without him. He
-was conscience-ridden, and snatched exiguous
-half-hours for Mary and his beetles. And now
-it appears, that after all, the business can get on
-without him. I don&rsquo;t know quite how Macpherson
-brought that fact home to Edward. He
-must have put it very straight, and I&rsquo;m afraid
-that Edward&rsquo;s feelings were a good deal hurt.
-Personally, I should say that the less Edward
-interferes with Macpherson the more radiantly
-will bank-managers smile upon Edward. Edward
-is a well-meaning person. Mr. Mottisfont would
-have called him damn well-meaning. And you
-cannot damn any man deeper than that in business.
-No, Edward can afford to take a holiday
-better than most people. He will probably start
-a marine collection and be perfectly happy. Why
-don&rsquo;t you join them for a bit?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_246">246</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think I want to,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.
-&ldquo;I&rsquo;m going up to London for Agneta&rsquo;s wedding
-next week. I don&rsquo;t want to go anywhere else.
-Do you want to get rid of me?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>To her surprise, David coloured.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I?&rdquo; he said. For a moment an odd expression
-passed across his face. Then he laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I might have wanted to flirt with Miss Dobell.&rdquo;</p>
-<p class="center"><span class="gs">* * * * * * * *</span></p>
-<p>Agneta Mainwaring was married at the end of
-July.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s going to be the most awful show,&rdquo; she
-wrote to Elizabeth. &ldquo;Douglas and I spend all
-our time trying to persuade each other that it
-isn&rsquo;t going to be awful, but we know it is. All
-our relations and all our friends, and all their
-children and all their best clothes, and an amount
-of fuss, worry, and botheration calculated to drive
-any one crazy. If I hadn&rsquo;t an enormous amount
-of self-control I should bolt, either with or without
-Douglas. Probably without him. Then he&rsquo;d
-have a really thrilling time tracking me down.
-It&rsquo;s an awful temptation, and if you don&rsquo;t want
-me to give way to it, you&rsquo;d better come up at
-least three days beforehand, and clamp on to me.
-Do come, Lizabeth. I really want you.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_247">247</div>
-<p>Elizabeth went up to London the day before
-the wedding, and Agneta detached herself sufficiently
-from her own dream to say:</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re not Issachar any longer. What has
-happened?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t quite know,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;I
-don&rsquo;t think the burden&rsquo;s gone, but I think that
-some one else is carrying it for me. I don&rsquo;t seem
-to feel it any more.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Agneta smiled a queer little smile of understanding.
-Then she laughed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Good Heavens, Lizabeth, if any one heard us
-talking, how perfectly mad they would think
-us.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth found August a very peaceful month.
-A large number of her friends and acquaintances
-were away. There were no calls to be paid and
-no notes to be written. She and David were
-more together than they had been since the time
-in Switzerland, and she was happy with a strange
-brooding happiness, which was not yet complete,
-but which awaited completion. She thought a
-great deal about the child&mdash;the child of the Dream.
-She came to think of it as an indication that behind
-the Dream was the Real.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_248">248</div>
-<p>Mary came back on the 15th of September.
-She was looking very well, and was once more in a
-state of extreme contentment with Edward and
-things in general. When she had poured forth
-a complete catalogue of all that they had done,
-she paused for breath, and looked suddenly and
-sharply at Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Why, Liz.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>To Elizabeth&rsquo;s annoyance, she felt herself
-colouring.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, and you never told me. Tell me at once.
-Is it true? Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me before?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly, what an Inquisitor you would
-have made!&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then it <i>is</i> true. And I suppose you told
-Agneta weeks ago?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I haven&rsquo;t told any one,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Not Agneta? And I suppose if I hadn&rsquo;t
-guessed you wouldn&rsquo;t have told me for ages and
-ages and ages. Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me, Liz?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why, I thought I&rsquo;d wait till you came back,
-Molly.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary caught her sister&rsquo;s hand.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_249">249</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, aren&rsquo;t you glad? Aren&rsquo;t you pleased?
-Doesn&rsquo;t it make you happy? Oh, Liz, if I thought
-you were one of those <i>dreadful</i> women who don&rsquo;t
-want to have a baby, I&mdash;I don&rsquo;t know what I
-should do. I wanted to tell everybody. But
-then I was <i>pleased</i>. I don&rsquo;t believe you&rsquo;re a bit
-pleased. Are you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know that pleased is exactly the word,&rdquo;
-said Elizabeth. She looked at Mary and laughed
-a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, Molly, do stop being Mrs. Grundy.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary lifted her chin.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Just because I was interested,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I
-suppose you&rsquo;d rather I didn&rsquo;t care.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Then she relaxed a little.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Liz, I&rsquo;m frightfully excited. Do be pleased
-and excited too. Why are you so stiff and odd?
-Isn&rsquo;t David pleased?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She had looked away, but she turned quickly
-at the last words, and fixed her eyes on Elizabeth&rsquo;s
-face. And for a moment Elizabeth had been off
-her guard.</p>
-<p>Mary exclaimed.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Isn&rsquo;t he pleased? Doesn&rsquo;t he know? Liz,
-you don&rsquo;t mean to tell me&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t think you give me much time to tell
-you anything, Molly,&rdquo; said Elizabeth.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_250">250</div>
-<p>&ldquo;He doesn&rsquo;t know? Liz, what&rsquo;s happened to
-you? Why are you so extraordinary? It&rsquo;s the
-sort of thing you read about in an early
-Victorian novel. Do you mean to say that you
-<i>really</i> haven&rsquo;t told David? That he doesn&rsquo;t
-know?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth&rsquo;s colour rose.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Molly, my dear, do you think it is your business?&rdquo;
-she said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes, I do,&rdquo; said Mary. &ldquo;I suppose you won&rsquo;t
-pretend you&rsquo;re not my own sister. And I think
-you must be quite mad, Liz. I do, indeed. You
-ought to tell David at once&mdash;at once. I can&rsquo;t
-<i>imagine</i> what Edward would have said if he had not
-known at once. You ought to go straight home
-and tell him now. Married people ought to be
-one. They ought never to have secrets.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mary poured the whole thing out to Edward the
-same evening.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I really don&rsquo;t know what has happened to
-Elizabeth,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;She is quite changed. I
-can&rsquo;t understand her at all. I think it is quite
-wicked of her. If she doesn&rsquo;t tell David soon,
-some one else ought to tell him.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward moved uneasily in his chair.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;People don&rsquo;t like being interfered with,&rdquo; he
-said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_251">251</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Well, I&rsquo;m sure nobody could call me an
-interfering person,&rdquo; said Mary. &ldquo;It isn&rsquo;t interfering
-to be fond of people. If I weren&rsquo;t fond of
-Liz, I shouldn&rsquo;t care how strangely she behaved.
-I do think it&rsquo;s very strange of her&mdash;and I don&rsquo;t
-care what you say, Edward. I think David ought
-to be told. How would you have liked it if I&rsquo;d
-hidden things from you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Edward rumpled up his hair.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;People <i>don&rsquo;t</i> like being interfered with,&rdquo; he
-said again.</p>
-<p>At this Mary burst into tears, and continued
-to weep until Edward had called himself a brute
-sufficiently often to justify her contradicting him.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth continued to wait. She was not quite
-as untroubled as she had been. The scene with
-Mary had brought the whole world of other
-people&rsquo;s thoughts and judgments much nearer.
-It was a troubling world. One full of shadows
-and perplexities. It pressed upon her a little and
-vexed her peace.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_252">252</div>
-<p>The days slid by. They had been pleasant days
-for David, too. For some time past he had been
-aware of a change in himself&mdash;a ferment. His old
-passion for Mary was dust. He looked back upon
-it now, and saw it as a delirium of the senses, a
-thing of change and fever. It was gone. He
-rejoiced in his freedom and began to look forward
-to the time when he and Elizabeth would enter
-upon a married life founded upon friendship,
-companionship, and good fellowship. He had no
-desire to fall in love with Elizabeth, to go back to
-the old storms of passion and unrest. He cared a
-good deal for Elizabeth. When she was his wife
-he would care for her more deeply, but still on the
-same lines. He hoped that they would have
-children. He was very fond of children. And
-then, after he had planned it all out in his own
-mind, he became aware of the change, the ferment.
-What he felt did not come into the plan at all.
-He disliked it and he distrusted it, but none the
-less the change went on, the ferment grew. It
-was as if he had planned to walk on a clear, wide
-upland, under a still, untroubled air. In his own
-mind he had a vision of such a place. It was a
-place where a man might walk and be master of
-himself, and then suddenly&mdash;the driving of a
-mighty wind, and he could not tell from whence it
-came, or whither it went. The wind bloweth
-where it listeth. In those September days the
-wind blew very strongly, and as it blew, David
-came slowly to the knowledge that he loved
-Elizabeth. It was a love that seemed to rise in
-him from some great depth. He could not have
-told when it began. As the days passed, he
-wondered sometimes whether it had not been
-there always, deep amongst the deepest springs
-of thought and will. There was no fever in it.
-It was a thing so strong and sane and wholesome
-that, after the first wonder, it seemed to him to be
-a part of himself, a part which, missing, he had
-lost balance and mental poise.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_253">253</div>
-<p>He spoke to Elizabeth as usual, but he looked
-at her with new eyes. And he, too, waited.</p>
-<p>He came home one day to find the household in a
-commotion. It appeared that Sarah had scalded
-her hand, Elizabeth was out, and Mrs. Havergill
-was divided between the rival merits of flour, oil,
-and a patent preparation which she had found very
-useful when suffering from chilblains. She safeguarded
-her infallibility by remarking, that there
-was some as held with one thing and some as held
-with another. She also observed, that &ldquo;scalds
-were &rsquo;orrid things.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now, there was an &rsquo;ousemaid I knew, Milly
-Clarke her name was, she scalded her hand very
-much the same as you &rsquo;ave, Sarah, and first thing,
-it swelled up as big as my two legs and arter that
-it turned to blood-poisoning, and the doctors
-couldn&rsquo;t do nothing for her, pore girl.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_254">254</div>
-<p>At this point Sarah broke into noisy weeping
-and David arrived. When he had bound up the
-hand, consoled the trembling Sarah, and suggested
-that she should have a cup of tea, he inquired
-where Elizabeth was. She might be at Mrs.
-Mottisfont&rsquo;s, suggested Mrs. Havergill, as she
-followed him into the hall.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re not thinking of sending Sarah to the
-&rsquo;orspital, are you sir?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, of course not, she&rsquo;ll be all right in a day
-or two. I&rsquo;ll just walk up the hill and meet Mrs.
-Blake.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m sure it&rsquo;s a mercy she were out,&rdquo; said
-Mrs. Havergill.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why?&rdquo; said David, turning at the door. Mrs.
-Havergill assumed an air of matronly importance.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It might ha&rsquo; given her a turn,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;for
-the pore girl did scream something dreadful. I&rsquo;m
-sure it give me a turn, but that&rsquo;s neither here nor
-there. What I was thinking of was Mrs. Blake&rsquo;s
-condition, sir.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill was obviously a little nettled
-at David&rsquo;s expression.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nonsense,&rdquo; said David quickly.</p>
-<p>Mrs. Havergill went back to Sarah.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_255">255</div>
-<p>&ldquo;&lsquo;Nonsense,&rsquo; he says, and him a doctor. Why,
-there was me own pore mother as died with her
-ninth, and all along of a turn she got through seeing
-a child run over. And he says, &lsquo;Nonsense.&rsquo;&rdquo;</p>
-<p>David walked up the hill in a state of mind
-between impatience and amusement. How women&rsquo;s
-minds did run on babies. He supposed it
-was natural, but there were times when one could
-dispense with it.</p>
-<p>He found Mary at home and alone. &ldquo;Elizabeth?
-Oh, no, she hasn&rsquo;t been near me for days,&rdquo;
-said Mary. &ldquo;As it happened, I particularly
-<i>wanted</i> to see her. But she hasn&rsquo;t been near me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She considered that Elizabeth was neglecting
-her. Only that morning she had told Edward so.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;She doesn&rsquo;t come to see me <i>on purpose</i>,&rdquo; she
-had said. &ldquo;But I know quite well why. I don&rsquo;t
-at all approve of the way she&rsquo;s going on, and she
-knows it. I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s <i>right</i>. I think some
-one ought to tell David. No, Edward, I really
-do. I don&rsquo;t understand Elizabeth at all, and she&rsquo;s
-simply afraid to come and see me because she
-knows that I shall speak my mind.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Now, as she sat and talked to David, the idea
-that it might be her duty to enlighten him presented
-itself to her mind afresh. A sudden and
-brilliant idea came into her head, and she immediately
-proceeded to act upon it.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_256">256</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I had a special reason for wanting to see her,&rdquo;
-she said. &ldquo;I had a lovely box of things down
-from town on approval, and I wanted her to see
-them.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Things?&rdquo; said David.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, clothes,&rdquo; said Mary, with a wave of the
-hand. &ldquo;You know they&rsquo;ll send you anything
-now. By the way, I bought a present for Liz,
-though she doesn&rsquo;t <i>deserve</i> it. Will you take it
-down to her? I&rsquo;ll get it if you don&rsquo;t mind waiting
-a minute.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She was away for five minutes, and then returned
-with a small brown-paper parcel in her hand.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You can open it when you get home,&rdquo; she
-said. &ldquo;Open it and show it to Liz, and see whether
-you like it. Tell her I sent it with my <i>love</i>.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Now there won&rsquo;t be any more nonsense,&rdquo; she
-told Edward.</p>
-<p>Edward looked rather unhappy, but, warned
-by previous experience, said nothing.</p>
-<p>David found Elizabeth in the dining-room.
-She was putting a large bunch of scarlet gladioli
-into a brown jug upon the mantelpiece.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ve got a present for you,&rdquo; said David.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, how nice of you. It&rsquo;s not my birthday.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_257">257</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m afraid it&rsquo;s not from me at all. I looked
-in to see if you were with Mary, and she sent you
-this, with her love. By the way, you&rsquo;d better go
-and see her, I think she&rsquo;s rather huffed.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>As he spoke he was undoing the parcel. Elizabeth
-had her back towards him. The flowers
-would not stand up just as she wished them to.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I can&rsquo;t think why Molly should send me a
-present,&rdquo; she said, and then all at once something
-made her turn round.</p>
-<p>The brown-paper wrapping lay on the table.
-David had taken something white out of the
-parcel. He held it up and they both looked at it.
-It was a baby&rsquo;s robe, very fine, and delicately
-embroidered.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth made a wavering step forward. The
-light danced on the white robe, and not only on
-the robe. All the room was full of small dancing
-lights. Elizabeth put her hand behind her and
-felt for the edge of the mantelpiece. She could
-not find it. Everything was shaking. She swung
-half round, and all the dancing lights flashed in her
-eyes as she fell forwards.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_258">258</div>
-<h2 id="c24"><span class="h2line1">CHAPTER XXIV</span>
-<br /><span class="h2line2">THE LOST NAME</span></h2>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">You are as old as Egypt, and as young as yesterday,</p>
-<p class="t">Oh, turn again and look again, for when you look I know</p>
-<p class="t0">The dusk of death is but a dream, that dreaming, dies away</p>
-<p class="t">And leaves you with the lips I loved, three thousand years ago.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">The mists of that forgotten dream, they fill your brooding eyes,</p>
-<p class="t">With veil on strange revealing veil that wavers, and is gone,</p>
-<p class="t0">And still between the veiling mists, the dim, dead centuries rise,</p>
-<p class="t">And still behind the farthest veil, your burning soul burns on.</p>
-</div>
-<div class="verse">
-<p class="t0">You are as old as Egypt, and as young as very Youth,</p>
-<p class="t">Before your still, immortal eyes the ages come and go,</p>
-<p class="t0">The dusk of death is but a dream that dims the face of Truth&mdash;</p>
-<p class="t">Oh, turn again, and look again, for when you look, I know.</p>
-</div>
-<p>When Elizabeth came to herself, the room
-was full of mist. Through the mist, she
-saw David&rsquo;s face, and quite suddenly in these few
-minutes it had grown years older.</p>
-<p>He spoke. He seemed a long way off.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Drink this.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;What is it?&rdquo; said Elizabeth faintly.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Water.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_259">259</div>
-<p>Elizabeth raised herself a little and drank. The
-faintness passed. She became aware that the
-collar of her dress was unfastened, and she sat up
-and began to fasten it.</p>
-<p>David got up, too.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I am all right.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was no mist before Elizabeth&rsquo;s eyes now.
-They saw clearly, quite, quite clearly. She looked
-at David, and David&rsquo;s face was grey&mdash;old and
-grey. So it had come. Now in this hour of
-physical weakness. The thing she dreaded.</p>
-<p>To her own surprise, she felt no dread now.
-Only a great weariness. What could she say?
-What was she to say? All seemed useless&mdash;not
-worth while. But then there was David&rsquo;s face,
-his grey, old face. She must do her best&mdash;not for
-her own sake, but for David&rsquo;s.</p>
-<p>She wondered a little that it should hurt him so
-much. It was not as though he loved her, or had
-ever loved her. Only of course this was a thing to
-cut a man, down to the very quick of his pride and
-his self-respect. It was that&mdash;of course it was that.</p>
-<p>Whilst she was thinking, David spoke. He was
-standing by the table fingering the piece of string
-that lay there.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Elizabeth, do you know why you fainted?&rdquo;
-he said.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_260">260</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Elizabeth, and said no more.</p>
-<p>A sort of shudder passed over David Blake.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Then it&rsquo;s true,&rdquo; he said in a voice that was
-hardly a voice at all. There was a sound, and
-there were words. But it was not like a man
-speaking. It was like a long, quick breath of
-pain.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;It is true, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>There was a very great pity in her eyes.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, my God!&rdquo; said David, and he sat down by
-the table and put his head in his hands. &ldquo;Oh, my
-God!&rdquo; he said again.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth got up. She was trembling just a
-little, but she felt no faintness now. She put one
-hand on the mantelpiece, and so stood, waiting.</p>
-<p>There was a very long silence, one of those profound
-silences which seem to break in upon a room
-and fill it. They overlie and blot out all the little
-sounds of every-day life and usage. Outside,
-people came and went, the traffic in the High
-Street came and went, but neither to David, nor
-to Elizabeth, did there come the smallest sound.
-They were enclosed in a silence that seemed to
-stretch unbroken, from one Eternity to another.
-It became an unbearable torment. To his dying
-day, when any one spoke of hell, David glimpsed
-a place of eternal silence, where anguish burned
-for ever with a still unwavering flame.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_261">261</div>
-<p>He moved at last, slowly, like a man who has
-been in a trance. His head lifted. He got up,
-resting his weight upon his hands. Then he
-straightened himself. All his movements were
-like those of a man who is lifting an intolerably
-heavy load.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why did you marry me?&rdquo; he asked in a tired
-voice, and then his tone hardened. &ldquo;Who is the
-man? Who is he? Will he marry you if I
-divorce you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>An unbearable pang of pity went through
-Elizabeth, and she turned her head sharply.
-David stopped looking at her.</p>
-<p>She to be ashamed&mdash;oh, God!&mdash;Elizabeth
-ashamed&mdash;he could not look at her. He walked
-quickly to the window. Then turned back again
-because Elizabeth was speaking.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; she said, in a low voice, &ldquo;David,
-what sort of woman am I?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>A groan burst from David.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_262">262</div>
-<p>&ldquo;You are a good woman. That&rsquo;s just the
-damnable part of it. There are some women,
-when they do a thing like this, one only says
-they&rsquo;ve done after their kind&mdash;they&rsquo;re gone
-where they belong. When a good woman does
-it, it&rsquo;s Hell&mdash;just Hell. And you&rsquo;re a good
-woman.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth was looking down. She could not
-bear his face.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;And would you say I was a truthful woman?&rdquo;
-she said. &ldquo;If I were to tell you the truth, would
-you believe me, David?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said David at once. &ldquo;Yes, I&rsquo;d believe
-you. If you told me anything at all you&rsquo;d tell
-me the truth. Why shouldn&rsquo;t I believe you?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Because the truth is very unbelievable,&rdquo;
-said Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>David lifted his head and looked at her.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Oh, you&rsquo;ll not lie,&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. After a moment&rsquo;s
-pause, she went on.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Will you sit down, David? I don&rsquo;t think I
-can speak if you walk up and down like that. It&rsquo;s
-not very easy to speak.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>He sat down in a big chair, that stood with its
-back to the window.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;when we were in Switzerland,
-you asked me how I had put you to sleep.
-You asked me if I had hypnotised you. I said,
-No. I want to know if you believed me?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_263">263</div>
-<p>&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t know what I believed,&rdquo; said David
-wearily. The question appeared to him to be
-entirely irrelevant and unimportant.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;When you hypnotise a person, you are producing
-an illusion,&rdquo; said Elizabeth. &ldquo;The effect
-of what I did was to destroy one. But whatever
-I did, when you asked me to stop doing it, I
-stopped. You do believe that?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;I believe that.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I stopped at once&mdash;definitely. You must
-please believe that. Presently you will see why
-I say this.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>All the time she had been standing quietly
-by the mantelpiece. Now she came across and
-kneeled down beside David&rsquo;s chair. She laid her
-hands one above the other upon the broad arm,
-and she looked, not at David at all, but at her
-own hands. It was the penitent&rsquo;s attitude, but
-David Blake, looking at her, found nothing of the
-penitent&rsquo;s expression. The light shone full upon
-her face. There was a look upon it that startled
-him. Her face was white and still. The look
-that riveted David&rsquo;s attention was a look of
-remoteness&mdash;passionless remoteness&mdash;and over all
-a sort of patience.</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_264">264</div>
-<p>Elizabeth looked down at her strong folded
-hands, and began to speak in a quiet, gentle
-voice. The sapphire in her ring caught the light.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, just now you asked me why I married
-you. You never asked me that before. I am
-going to tell you now. I married you because I
-loved you very much. I thought I could help,
-and I loved you. That is why I married you.
-You won&rsquo;t speak, please, till I have done. It
-isn&rsquo;t easy.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She drew a long, steady breath and went on.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I knew you didn&rsquo;t love me, you loved Mary.
-It wasn&rsquo;t good for you. I knew that you would
-never love me. I was&mdash;content&mdash;with friendship.
-You gave me friendship. Then we came
-home. And you stopped loving Mary. I was
-very thankful&mdash;for you&mdash;not for myself.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She stopped for a moment. David was looking
-at her. Her words fell on his heart, word after
-word, like scalding tears. So she had loved him&mdash;it
-only needed that. Why did she tell him now
-when it was all too late&mdash;hideously too late?</p>
-<p>Elizabeth went on.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Do you remember, when we had been home
-a week, you dreamed your dream? Your old
-dream&mdash;you told me of it, one evening&mdash;but I
-knew already&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_265">265</div>
-<p>&ldquo;Knew?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, don&rsquo;t speak. I can&rsquo;t go on if you speak.
-I knew because when you dreamed your dream
-you came to me.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>She bent lower over her hands. Her breathing
-quickened. She scarcely heard David&rsquo;s startled
-exclamation. She must say it&mdash;and it was so
-hard. Her heart beat so&mdash;it was so hard to steady
-her voice.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You came into my room. It was late. The
-window was open, and the wind was blowing in.
-The moon was going down. I was standing by
-the window in my night-dress&mdash;and you spoke.
-You said, &lsquo;Turn round, and let me see your face.&rsquo;
-Then I turned round and you came to me and
-touched me. You touched me and you spoke,
-and then you went away. And the next night
-you came again. You were in your dream, and in
-your dream you loved me. We talked. I said,
-&lsquo;Who am I?&rsquo; and you said, &lsquo;You are the Woman of
-my Dream,&rsquo; and you kissed me, and then you
-went away. But the third night&mdash;the third night&mdash;I
-woke up&mdash;in the dark&mdash;and you were
-there.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_266">266</div>
-<p>After that first start, David sat rigid and
-watched her face. He saw her lips quiver&mdash;the
-patience of her face break into pain. He knew
-the effort with which she spoke.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;You came every night&mdash;for a fortnight. I
-used to think you would wake&mdash;but you never
-did. You went away before the dawn&mdash;always.
-You never waked&mdash;you never remembered. In
-your dream you loved me&mdash;you loved me very
-much. In the daytime you didn&rsquo;t love me at all.
-I got to feel I couldn&rsquo;t bear it. I went away to
-Agneta, and there I thought it all out. I knew
-what I had to do. I think I had really known all
-along. But I was shirking. That&rsquo;s why it
-hurt so much. If you shirk, you always get
-hurt.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth paused for a moment. She was
-looking at the blue of her ring. It shone. There
-was a little star in the heart of it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s very difficult to explain,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I
-suppose you would say I prayed. Do you remember
-asking me, if you had slept because I saw you
-in the Divine Consciousness? That&rsquo;s the nearest
-I can get to explaining. I tried to see the whole
-thing&mdash;us&mdash;the Dream&mdash;in the Divine Consciousness,
-and you stopped dreaming. I knew you
-would. You never came any more. That&rsquo;s
-all.&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_267">267</div>
-<p>Elizabeth stopped speaking. She moved as if
-to rise, but David&rsquo;s hand fell suddenly upon both
-of hers, and rested there with a hard, heavy
-pressure.</p>
-<p>He said her name, &ldquo;Elizabeth!&rdquo; and then
-again, &ldquo;Elizabeth!&rdquo; His voice had a bewildered
-sound.</p>
-<p>Elizabeth lifted her eyes and looked at him.
-His face was working, twitching, his eyes strained
-as if to see something beyond the line of vision.
-He looked past Elizabeth as he had done
-in his dream. All at once he spoke in a
-whisper.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;I remembered, it&rsquo;s gone again&mdash;but I remembered.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;The dream?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;No, not the dream. I don&rsquo;t know&mdash;it&rsquo;s
-gone. It was a name&mdash;your name&mdash;but it&rsquo;s
-gone again.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;My name?&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Yes&mdash;it&rsquo;s gone.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It doesn&rsquo;t matter, David.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>Elizabeth had begun to tremble, and all at once
-he became aware of it.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Why do you tremble?&rdquo;</p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_268">268</div>
-<p>Elizabeth was at the end of her strength. She
-had done what she had to do. If he would let her
-go&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;David, let me go,&rdquo; she said, only just above
-her breath.</p>
-<p>Instead, he put out his other hand and touched
-her on the breast. It was like the Dream. But
-they were not in the Dream any more. They
-were awake.</p>
-<p>David leaned slowly forward, and Elizabeth
-could not turn away her eyes. They looked at
-each other, and the thing that had happened
-before came upon them again. A momentary
-flash&mdash;memory&mdash;revelation&mdash;truth. The moment
-passed. This time it left behind it, not darkness,
-but light. They were in the light, because love is
-of the light.</p>
-<p>David put his arms about Elizabeth.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Mine!&rdquo; he said.</p>
-<p class="tbcenter"><span class="smaller">THE END</span></p>
-<div class="pb" id="Page_269">269</div>
-<h2 id="c25"><span class="h2line1"><i>A Selection from the Catalogue of</i><br />G. P. PUTNAM&rsquo;S SONS</span></h2>
-<div class="img">
-<img src="images/p1.jpg" alt="logo" width="83" height="72" />
-</div>
-<p class="center"><b>Complete Catalogue sent on application</b></p>
-<h2 id="c26"><span class="h2line1"><i><span class="u">By Patricia Wentworth</span></i></span></h2>
-<h3 id="c27">A Marriage under the Terror</h3>
-<p class="center"><i><b>$1.35 net. ($1.50 by mail)</b></i></p>
-<p>&ldquo;This is the remarkable book that won the first
-prize ($1250) in the Melrose Novel Competition. Not
-since Dickens&rsquo;s <i>Tale of Two Cities</i> came from the presses
-has the very atmosphere of the Terror been so remarkably
-conveyed to the printed pages. We commend
-it less because it won a prize than because it is one.&rdquo;
-<span class="jr"><i>N. Y. World.</i></span></p>
-<h3 id="c28">More Than Kin</h3>
-<p class="center"><i><b>$1.35 net. (By mail, $1.50)</b></i></p>
-<p>Shows France in the throes of the Revolution; depicts
-the relentless malice of the leaders of the bloodthirsty
-hordes that swarmed through the streets of Paris; gives
-us a thrilling account of hair-breadth escapes and
-daring rescues; and withal presents a love story in
-which the tender blends with the heroic.</p>
-<h3 id="c29">The Devil&rsquo;s Wind</h3>
-<p class="center"><i><b>$1.35 net. (By mail, $1.50)</b></i></p>
-<p>&ldquo;A novel dealing with the dramatic days of the
-Indian Mutiny, well written, well characterized, and
-enriched by sundry jewels of description. Decidedly
-one of the season&rsquo;s best historical romances.&rdquo;
-<span class="jr"><i>Chicago Record-Herald.</i></span></p>
-<h2 id="c30"><span class="h2line1">The Fringe of the Desert</span></h2>
-<p class="center"><i>By</i> <b>R. S. Macnamara</b></p>
-<p class="center"><i><b>12<sup>o</sup>. $1.35 net. By mail, $1.50</b></i></p>
-<p>&ldquo;<i>And the Wise Man said: &lsquo;Those who love with
-passion stand on the Fringe of the Desert&rsquo;; and they
-who heard laughed and passed on their way.</i>&rdquo;</p>
-<p>The atmosphere of Egypt glows and
-pulsates through the story, giving to the
-author an opportunity of showing that,
-not only figuratively but literally, these
-two lovers, Ingram and Hesper, stood on
-the Fringe of the Desert. It was her power
-of calling up vivid pictures of Egypt and
-the Desert that caused critics to compare
-a former story of Miss Macnamara&rsquo;s with
-the work of those magicians of the East,
-Robert Hichens and Pierre Loti. This
-new book promises to emphasize her
-strength in that particular.</p>
-<h2 id="c31"><span class="h2line1">The Knave of Diamonds</span></h2>
-<p class="center"><i>By</i> <b>Ethel M. Dell</b></p>
-<p class="center"><i>Frontispiece in Color and Decorated Wrapper.
-<br />$1.35 net. By mail, $1.50</i></p>
-<p class="center"><b>The Great New Story by the Author of
-<br /><span class="large">&ldquo;<span class="u">The Way of an Eagle</span>&rdquo;</span></b></p>
-<p>With masterly skill Miss Dell has depicted
-the domination of love and its effacing strength
-when called upon to blot out from the memory
-an offense which only love could forgive. The
-struggle of the hero, a savage at heart, to emancipate
-himself from the sinister tendencies of his
-nature and to rise to the standard which the
-woman he loves is entitled to claim, is told in a
-story full of romance and adventure.</p>
-<p>&ldquo;One of the most satisfactory love stories we
-have read in a long while. Everybody will like
-it, from the dyspeptic and elderly reader to
-the young person who swallows &rsquo;em whole. The
-characters are alive and interesting.... The
-author seems to be a natural story-teller. Her
-book will undoubtedly have a great success.&rdquo;
-<span class="jr"><i>N. Y. Globe.</i></span></p>
-<h2 id="c32"><span class="h2line1">Little Thank You</span></h2>
-<p class="center"><span class="large"><i>By</i> <b>Mrs. T. P. O&rsquo;Connor</b></span>
-<br />Author of &ldquo;My Beloved South&rdquo;</p>
-<p class="center"><i>With Frontispiece. $1.25 net. By mail, $1.35</i></p>
-<p class="center"><span class="smaller"><i>From the author of &ldquo;THE ROSARY,&rdquo; Florence L. Barclay:</i></span></p>
-<p>&ldquo;<i>Little Thank You will remain in the memory as
-one of the most human and lovable of story-book
-characters.</i>&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;It is a gem: full of fascinating charm,
-which seems to me unique. There have
-been charming love stories and charming
-child stories, but in your book we have the
-two combined into a perfect whole. Do
-accept my warmest congratulations and
-good wishes for its success.&rdquo;</p>
-<p>&ldquo;Nothing could be more daintily written
-and presented than this fascinating story....
-A little gem.&rdquo;
-<span class="jr"><i>Philadelphia Ledger.</i></span></p>
-<hr class="dwide" />
-<p class="center"><span class="large"><b>G. P. Putnam&rsquo;s Sons</b></span>
-<br /><b>New York</b> <span class="hst"><b>London</b></span></p>
-<h2>Transcriber&rsquo;s Notes</h2>
-<ul>
-<li>Copyright notice provided as in the original&mdash;this e-text is public domain in the country of publication.</li>
-<li>In the text versions, delimited italics text in _underscores_ (the HTML version reproduces the font form of the printed book.)</li>
-<li>Generated cover and spine images based on elements in the book.</li>
-<li>Silently corrected palpable typos; left non-standard spellings and dialect unchanged.</li>
-</ul>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Fire Within, by Patricia Wentworth
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