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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #65347 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/65347)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of I'll See You In My Dreams, by William
-Campbell Gault
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: I'll See You In My Dreams
-
-Author: William Campbell Gault
-
-Release Date: May 15, 2021 [eBook #65347]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
- Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS ***
-
-
-
-
- I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS
-
- By William Campbell Gault
-
- Ted really loved his wife, but somehow
- the blonde next door kept popping into his
- dreams--and making them a vivid reality....
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy
- September 1951
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-_El outer-thought, "I've had all I want of it, haven't you?"_
-
-_Nothing from Bee for seconds, and then: "I--don't know. I suppose.
-You've been inner-thinking, El. You've been brooding?"_
-
-_"I've been brooding. When did our bodies go, Bee?"_
-
-_"When Lust was killed. I think we made a mistake, El. I think, at the
-time, we were bemused. He wasn't the best of the gods, but he had his
-points. We've been inner-thinking alike, dear. This plane isn't enough.
-But what--" Silence._
-
-_She thought, "Over the hills? This isn't all of our land. There are
-people in Valdora."_
-
-_"Not--the kind of people I want to be. And how about the others, how
-about the Assembly? Will they feel as we do?"_
-
-_"Why not? Don't they miss the colors they can't see, the grass they
-can't smell, the streams they can't hear? Weren't they human, too,
-once?"_
-
-_"They were. And perhaps they think as we do. But they won't project
-anyone to Valdora. We don't want any part of that town. However, dear,
-I'll bring it up. If I had a belly, I'd have a bellyful of this."_
-
-_In the glade they couldn't see, above the stream they couldn't hear,
-the Assembly met._
-
-_"New business?" the Peak thought._
-
-_"I've some," Bee thought. "It's--it may be mutiny."_
-
-_"We'll listen," Peak answered. "Speaking for myself, and myself alone,
-I'm ready to listen to mutiny. So long as it doesn't involve Valdora.
-I wouldn't be surprised if the others agree. Could it concern the
-resurrection of a minor god who grew major?"_
-
-_"Lust," Bee agreed. "I want a body."_
-
-_Peak was silent as the affirmative thoughts poured in from the entire
-assembly. Then Peak thought, "I'm sure we won't need a vote on that.
-And_ how _would we resurrect Lust?"_
-
-_"Not by importing Valdorans," Bee answered._
-
-_"Nor Velugians," someone thought._
-
-_"Nor any of the others," Peak summed up for them. "So--...."_
-
-_The scientist Lern thought, "Is this the only planet in the galaxy?
-Why confine our thinking?"_
-
-_"Not that bloody Mars," Peak thought. "I'll veto that, every time."_
-
-_"Earth?" Bee suggested. "What's wrong with Earth?"_
-
-_Ha thought, "It would take too long to answer that one. From what I've
-heard of it, they're less ardent than arduous. How many lovers have
-they developed? Major league lovers, that is."_
-
-_Bee protested, "One could be developed. The material's there, and the
-planet's attainable. I say let's project one of us in some innocent
-guise, some animal who talks the language."_
-
-_"But who'd volunteer?" Lern wanted to know._
-
-_"No volunteers," Peak decided. "Ha will go, to improve his education.
-What he doesn't know about Earth needs knowing."_
-
-_Lern thought, "How can we keep him minor, if we resurrect him? This
-Lust has a terrible appetite."_
-
-_"That," answered Peak, "will be your job. You'll have to think of
-something that will keep his weight and power constant."_
-
-_Ha was doing no outer-thinking; Ha was inner-thinking about Earth, and
-bodies._
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ted Truesdale was sitting on the back porch, supposedly enjoying the
-sun. He was, in reality, enjoying the view. The blonde who'd bought the
-house directly behind them, and considerably below them, was out on her
-patio.
-
-She _was_ enjoying the sun. She wore a skimpy halter and a pair of
-shorts that were. She was well oiled and lying on her stomach. The tan
-of her shoulders and along the back of her legs was a fine wheat brown
-and she was due to turn over.
-
-Ted was not lascivious, though Ann Truesdale had frequently stated he
-almost was. Ted, to put it honestly, was thirty-nine and worrying about
-the forties. It didn't seem logical that he would feel any different
-at forty than he had at thirty-nine. He'd noticed no change between
-thirty-nine and sixteen; he was a healthy man.
-
-But there were so many stories about the forties--and the fifties
-followed them so closely.
-
-Now, the blonde was about to turn over. She had one hand, palm
-downward, on the blanket beneath her and--
-
-And from the doorway, Ann Truesdale said, "Theodore Truesdale, you
-licentious old man. I never realized why you sat out--"
-
-He turned to face his wife. His voice was a model of outraged
-innocence. "For heaven's sake, Ann--"
-
-She sighed, staring at him. She was small and dark and well put
-together, and didn't look at all like a woman who could devote every
-conscious hour to the house. But she was.
-
-"Ogling," she said.
-
-"Oh, Ann--you'd think I was--" He shook his head.
-
-"You are. Infidelity can be mental, I read somewhere."
-
-"You _read_?"
-
-"Don't be superior. I was looking up a recipe in Maitland's magazine,
-I think, and I saw the picture of this man staring, as you just were,
-and--"
-
-"You've answered my question," he interrupted. "Ann, I love _you_."
-
-"Well, that's a strange way to show it, I must say, just eating that
-divorcee with your eyes. You should have a job, something to do. You've
-too much energy to just sit around like this, Ted."
-
-Ted sighed. At thirty-nine, he had retired. At sixteen, he'd thought he
-was the new Bellows, having facility with a brush and being no slouch
-with the horsehide. The St. Paul Saints had shattered the baseball
-dream, and Ted's own objective self appraisal had killed the Bellows
-hope.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He had turned to commercial art and had done extremely well from the
-start. At thirty-nine, he'd retired.
-
-Now, he said, "I've been thinking of going to work."
-
-"Painting again? Ted, really?"
-
-"Not painting. I loathe painting. That's one reason I retired. Maybe
-I'll buy a cheap ball club."
-
-"Ted," she said despairingly, "what's wrong with _work_?" She came over
-to take the deck chair next to his.
-
-"Nothing," he said. "Unless it gets to be a disease. From the time I
-was sixteen until I was thirty-eight, I worked like three men. That's
-twenty-two years a man, and I've forty-four years of rest due me. If
-I'm alive, at eighty-three, I'll go back to work."
-
-"Nobody," she said wearily, "can ever get any sense out of you." She
-looked down at the patio below. "Do you really think she's pretty, Ted?"
-
-The blonde was now on her back.
-
-"She has a fair figure. I haven't seen much of her face."
-
-"I suppose," Ann said hesitantly, "I've failed you, somewhere."
-
-"Well," Ted began.
-
-But Ann rose hastily. "Heavens, I forgot I had soup on the stove." The
-screen door slammed behind her.
-
-His eyes went to the blonde, moved away, came back.
-
-"Dreams, that's all you've got!"
-
-Ted looked at the doorway, but it was vacant. He looked down at the
-patio below, but the blonde was quiescent. Besides, the voice had been
-closer.
-
-And there was _nobody_ in view. There was one small, scrubby squirrel
-looking at him from the base of the nutmeg tree. Squirrels don't talk.
-
-Through the screen, Ted heard dimly the movements of Ann in the
-kitchen, and below, the blonde had her eyes closed. Nobody, nobody,
-nobody....
-
-He said, "What do you mean, dreams?" and watched the squirrel closely.
-
-"Don't be stupid," the voice said. The squirrel hadn't opened its mouth.
-
-Ted rose, and looked through the screen door, but Ann was still in the
-kitchen, her back to him. Down on her patio, the blonde didn't stir.
-
-Ted said, "I'll be damned."
-
-"You're all damned," the voice said, "damned by your loyalties. Clean
-living is killing you. But you can dream."
-
-Ted looked at the squirrel, who was looking at him. Ted sat down again
-in the deck chair. He asked, "What good's a dream?"
-
-"What good's reality?" No movement of the squirrel's mouth, but a
-certain intentness in its gaze. "And how can you tell which is the
-dream? How will you ever know? How much do you know, anyway?"
-
-"More than a squirrel. You don't even know how far it is from home
-plate to first base."
-
-"Ninety feet. How far is it to Mars, Brain?"
-
-"Thirty-five million miles--and more."
-
-A silence. The squirrel walked around the base of the tree and came
-into view on the other side. It moved cautiously toward the porch, its
-bushy tail alert as a guidon. About halfway between the porch and the
-tree, it paused, sitting up on its haunches.
-
-"Thirty-five million miles to Mars. Close your eyes, Truesdale!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ted obediently closed his eyes and saw a film of red. It could have
-been the sun through his eye-lids! Then the redness faded and against a
-pink background a figure appeared.
-
-It was the figure of a bearded, three-armed man, nailing some boards on
-what appeared to be a sluice. Beyond and above the bent figure, a green
-mountain towered, its peak topped with a polar cap. At the horizon end
-of the sluice, water was visible, flowing this way.
-
-The man was big, with an enormous chest. Ted's own chest gasped for
-oxygen, and he had a sense of lightness, physical lightness.
-
-The man drove in the last nail, and sat on a hummock, above the
-sluice, watching the water slowly work his way. Then he reached into a
-container at his side and pulled out--
-
-Pulled out what could be nothing other than a skinned rat. Ted gagged,
-and the man looked up. He had a knife in one of his other hands now.
-
-"Lunch?"
-
-"Not a rat. I'll be hanged if I'll eat a rat."
-
-"Who in the world asked you to eat a rat?"
-
-Ted opened his eyes to see his wife standing in the doorway. He smiled
-at her, and turned to look at the squirrel. The squirrel was just
-disappearing up the nutmeg tree.
-
-"I was dreaming," Ted said to his wife.
-
-"And talking in your sleep."
-
-"Was I?" He rose.
-
-They went in to lunch.
-
-It was probably an excellent meal; all of Ann's were. Ted didn't
-remember eating it; he kept seeing that pink background and the man
-with the rat. Mars? Undoubtedly. A dream? Well....
-
-"That squirrel--" Mrs. Truesdale said.
-
-"Squirrel?" Ted looked up hastily.
-
-"He watches me dress. I've seen him, at the window. The one in the back
-yard, this morning."
-
-"Pull the shade," Ted suggested.
-
-"For a squirrel? Wouldn't I feel silly? It's so--so old maidish."
-
-"That it is," Ted agreed. "I'll give it some thought this afternoon.
-Maybe something will come to me."
-
-"Don't strain yourself dear," Ann said. "Didn't you get enough rest
-this morning?"
-
-"I wasn't resting," Ted told her. "I was considering various
-investments in my mind. There are a lot of arguments against buying a
-ball club, all right. It's a headache."
-
-Ann shook her head. Then, "The Garden Club meets this afternoon. You
-won't be needing the car?"
-
-"Not today. Do you remember our honeymoon, Ann? Remember Honolulu?"
-
-"How could I ever forget it, Ted?" Her eyes were reminiscent. "Those
-flowers, those beautiful hibiscus and--"
-
-Ted poured another cup of coffee.
-
- * * * * *
-
-When Ann had left, and he went back to the porch, the blonde was just
-coming through the sliding glass door that led from her living room to
-the patio. The squirrel wasn't in sight.
-
-The blonde looked up his way, and Ted smiled. He doubted if she could
-see a smile, at this distance, but it seemed presumptuous to wave.
-
-Did she smile in return? He thought she did.
-
-He sat down in the deck chair, and gave two minutes of thought to
-possible investments entailing a daily job. None appeared desirable.
-
-At the age of twenty-two, before he became inured to them, Ted had been
-in love with a model. It had been a warm, bright, ecstatic affair,
-though it had ended with mutual relief. Since that time, there had been
-only Ann. And she'd been enough, at first. Before the home and garden
-obsession had engulfed her.
-
-Now, Ted told himself, _I'm not an unreasonable man. I am a romantic,
-admittedly, and full of latent energy, but I have no natural Tom-cat
-inclinations._
-
-The blonde was reading. Looked like a novel, though it could have been
-a cook book or a text on hooked rugs. Probably a novel of romance.
-Her shoulders were bare and finely moulded, her chin line clean. He
-wondered about the color of her eyes.
-
-From the other side of the nutmeg tree, the scrubby squirrel again came
-into view. At the base of the tree, it stood for a moment with its back
-to Ted, looking down at the blonde.
-
-Then it turned and came over to inspect a weather-beaten golf ball near
-the sprinkler. Ted watched it closely.
-
-"Well, traveler, what did you think of Mars?"
-
-"Didn't see much of it," Ted answered.
-
-"There's not much to see. Was that a dream?"
-
-"Wasn't it?"
-
-"Couldn't get your breath, could you? You _know_ you were there, don't
-you?"
-
-"No."
-
-The squirrel sat down. "Difficult, aren't you? Why should I bother?"
-
-Ted said nothing.
-
-"She's a beautiful girl. Can't see why her husband would leave her."
-
-Ted asked, "Who's a beautiful girl?"
-
-The squirrel went over to nose the golf ball, again.
-
-"I asked a question," Ted said.
-
-The squirrel sat up, looking at the nutmeg tree. "Look, Mr. Truesdale,
-we've got to have a meeting of minds. You know who's a beautiful girl,
-and so do I. Good gosh, you've been sitting there, drooling, all
-morning. And now you're back for more." The bright black eyes turned
-Ted's way. "Don't be so conventional. That's what kept you from being a
-first rate artist."
-
-Ted was silent.
-
-"Do we do business? Or don't we?"
-
-Ted said, "How can you talk without opening your mouth?"
-
-"Talk? Squirrels can't talk, you fool."
-
-"Well, how can you make yourself heard, then?"
-
-"Do you have to pry, Truesdale? You're getting a break, as it is. Do
-you have to know _everything_?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ted looked at his hands, and at the nutmeg tree. And back at the
-squirrel. A thirty-nine year old retired artist, sitting in the sun and
-talking to himself. What a jerk he was getting to be.
-
-"Okay, I've been wrong before." The squirrel started for the tree.
-
-"Wait!" Ted almost shouted.
-
-From below, the blonde glanced his way, and he realized his voice had
-carried that far.
-
-The squirrel waited; the blonde went back to her book.
-
-"What," Ted asked hesitantly, "did you mean about doing business?"
-
-"You and the blonde. Don't tell me you wouldn't like to get to know
-her."
-
-Ted squirmed in his chair. "I--well, she's certainly lovely."
-
-"Sure. I'll go down and sound her out. I'll keep in touch, Truesdale."
-
-The squirrel went down the hill and hopped on the low, red brick wall
-that bordered the patio. The blonde looked up from her reading.
-
-Was _she_ talking to the squirrel? Her lips were moving.
-
-Then she rose, and went into the house. When she came out again, she
-put some nuts on the low brick wall. And went back to her reading.
-
-Ted watched for signs of further dialogue, but there were none. The
-squirrel came up the hill, the nuts bulging its cheeks. It didn't even
-glance at Ted as it went up the trunk of the tree.
-
-The sun moved behind a cloud and a faint breeze came up from the
-west. Ted felt drowsy, but he kept his eyes open, waiting for the
-reappearance of the squirrel.
-
-Nothing happened. Occasionally, the blonde would turn a page, but
-that was all. Ted went in and mixed himself a drink. Then he put some
-records on the record player and sat near the huge empty fireplace in
-the living room.
-
-Why wasn't he happy? Fine home, fine view, money in the bank, neat,
-pretty wife, no job to fret about, nothing to do but improve his mind.
-
-_Nuts_, he told himself. _Nothing to do but covet blondes, you mean.
-Don't give me that malarkey about improving your mind._
-
-He rose, in protest, and picked out a volume of Spinoza from the
-shelves flanking the fireplace. He stayed with it for seven full
-minutes, and then mixed another drink.
-
-At four-thirty, he was dozing in the leather chair in his study when
-Ann came in.
-
-"You should see Dora's delphiniums," Ann said.
-
-"Should I? How do you know I haven't?"
-
-"Ted, you've been drinking." Her voice was not sharp, but soft, her
-attitude maternal.
-
-"A little. I'd like some more. Why don't we go out to dinner, some
-place where we can dance?"
-
-"Tonight? Have you forgotten the Drews are coming over?"
-
-"I've been trying to. Couldn't you phone them?"
-
-"Ted." She made two syllables out of it. She looked at him quietly. "Do
-they bore you terribly?"
-
-"They do."
-
-"And do I?"
-
-"No. You should, but you don't. You've still a potential. Well, if the
-Drews are coming, I'd better shave."
-
-She was looking at him thoughtfully as he left the room.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_Peak outer-thought, "Well, Ha, what do you think of Earthians?"_
-
-_"They're like us," Ha thought wonderingly, "except for that stuff
-growing on them."_
-
-_"Hair," Peak explained. "They haven't our cloud blanket, and their
-climate is ridiculous. You've--been gone some time."_
-
-_"Had to case a lot of spots. I guess I've a fine prospect. I'm working
-on him. Having eyes was--wonderful again. But I had that--that hair on
-me, too."_
-
-_"You'll get used to it. Ha, no mix-ups, now. We're all counting on
-you."_
-
-_"It's a cinch."_
-
- * * * * *
-
-For a certain class of people, Eben Drews would undoubtedly make
-a fascinating conversationalist. For that class of people who are
-engrossed in the elimination of aphids or the control of slugs. It was
-a class that lived without Ted.
-
-Ted kept his eyes on Eben's face and managed a "What do you know about
-that?" at the proper intervals, but his mind was on the squirrel and
-the blonde. And the dream. Which was the dream? Here, listening to the
-Drews monologue or this morning, on Mars?
-
-He had a strange feeling, as the monotone droned on and on, as the
-background of Ann and Mrs. Drews' voice seemed to swell and dim, that
-this was the dream.
-
-As they were undressing, in the room between their bedrooms, later that
-evening, Ann said, "It won't happen again, honey. I see what you mean."
-
-"Don't tell me they bored you, too?"
-
-"A little. And _I'm_ interested in gardening. Ted--" She seemed to be
-blushing.
-
-"Yes?" In wonder and hope, he gazed at her.
-
-"Ted, I'll try to read--and--widen my interests. I'll be better."
-
-Something warm grew in him.
-
-"If you'll get a job."
-
-The warmth receded. "Blackmail. Ann, you're incurable." He turned, and
-stalked off to his own bedroom. There, he sat on the bed and stared
-moodily at the wall, wondering about marriage.
-
-When the light was out, he stood by his window a few seconds, looking
-down at the house below. All the windows were dark.
-
-He was annoyed and frustrated and not a bit tired. But he was asleep
-five minutes after he hit the pillow. Just before he fell off, he
-thought he heard a scratching at the window.
-
-There was an opalescent glow which seemed to come from the solid cloud
-barrier above. There was grass and a slope leading down to the stream.
-There was no sense of wonder in Ted.
-
-Beyond the hills to his left, there seemed to be a darker area, as
-though there were cities there, and their resultant smog. But this
-was--pastoral, peaceful and still invigorating.
-
-Willows bordered the stream and along the bend there were trees which
-resembled cottonwoods, though the bark was darker. Ted breathed easily,
-and there was no change in his weight he could notice.
-
-Then, in a glade, surrounded by the willows, he saw the blonde. The sun
-was not visible; there was just the pearly glow. But she was sunning
-herself.
-
- * * * * *
-
-If it was a dream, his senses were with him. He could feel the strong
-grass underfoot, smell the rich growth, hear the blood pounding in his
-temples. He walked down the hill toward the blonde.
-
-He pushed through the willows and came into the glade, and saw her
-quick smile of recognition.
-
-He smiled in return. "I won't believe it in the morning." He sat on the
-grass beside her. "Is it Venus?"
-
-"Where else?" Her face was finely modeled with faintly discernible
-cheek bones and a smooth jaw line. "The lover's planet, hidden from the
-universe by its atmosphere. Hamilton's work, I'll wager."
-
-"Hamilton?"
-
-"You know him, our friend from the nutmeg tree. He arranged it, didn't
-he?"
-
-"I suppose. He--or destiny. I shouldn't be here, really. Because I do
-love my wife, in a lot of ways, but--"
-
-"_Please_ don't say she doesn't understand you. She probably does. Most
-wives do."
-
-"Well, yes. What I was going to say is that she isn't in sympathy with
-certain views I hold, and--"
-
-"Do we have to rationalize? You wanted to be with me, and you are.
-You're with me, and we're alone. Unless you've brought your conscience?"
-
-"Darling," he said "I'm an artist."
-
-Her face was close now, her lips slightly parted. Her arms trembled
-around his neck. Her lips were warm and soft and seeking....
-
-The opalescence grew to a soft brilliance, growing and ebbing, ebbing
-finally to a languid dusk. The smell of grass was like a violet mist
-and the willows sighed in envy.
-
-"Aren't you ever going to get up, Ted?"
-
-He looked up sleepily to see his wife standing in the doorway. Her dark
-hair was high off her neck and her pert face was freshly scrubbed. She
-wore a red, tailored dressing robe.
-
-He said, "Red brings you to life, Ann. You should wear it oftener."
-
-"Thank you. Buckwheat cakes and Canadian bacon, sleepy head." She came
-over to sit on the edge of his bed. "Ted--I probably worded that badly
-last night about the job, but--"
-
-"But let's not talk about it before breakfast," he said quickly. "I'll
-be down in a few minutes."
-
-"All right." She rose, and her voice changed. "All _right_." Her back
-was stiff, as she marched out.
-
-In his bathroom, Ted studied himself in the mirror. His eyes were
-shadowed, his face wan. "You dog," he told his image, and smiled.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_El thought, "I wonder if Ha's had any success. I don't trust him, for
-some reason, dear."_
-
-_"Ha's all right," Bee thought. "Inclined to whimsey, but generally
-sound. And he wants a body as badly as we do. But only Lust can give
-us one."_
-
-_"We gave Ha a body. We projected him successfully."_
-
-_"On Earth, Darling, you don't want to live on Earth."_
-
-_"Why?"_
-
-_"It's all city, like Valdora and Velugia. They have no lover's county,
-like this. Would you like that, dearest?"_
-
-_"No, no, no. We'll have to rely on Ha. I wonder what he's done."_
-
-_"Working. And another thing, dearest, I wouldn't want you in any body
-but the one I loved."_
-
-_"Sweet."_
-
-_"Beloved."_
-
- * * * * *
-
-Across the breakfast table, Ann's level scrutiny was annoying. Ted
-concentrated on the cakes and bacon.
-
-He was just lighting a cigarette to go with his second cup of coffee,
-when he said, "What's the matter with you, this morning?"
-
-The cigarette trembled very little. "Matter?"
-
-"You seem so--oh, it would sound silly."
-
-"Let's have it, anyway."
-
-"So--sort of--_guilty_."
-
-He picked up the cigarette before it burned the cloth. "What kind
-of--Well, I like that. Of all the silly observations!" He shook his
-head vexedly.
-
-"Ted, why don't you look at me? Ted, you _did_ go right to bed, last
-night?"
-
-He looked at her, his chin tilted pugnaciously. "No, I went to Venus
-and met a blonde. Of course I went to bed."
-
-"Well, what are you so nervous about? Heavens, it wasn't that little
-spat we had, or _you_ had, rather, about your going to work?"
-
-"No, no, no. You're imagining things, Ann."
-
-"Look at your hand. Look how it's trembling. Ted--what is the matter?"
-
-"Nothing. I had a dream. Ann, I don't want to talk about it."
-
-"Drinking," she said. "It's those drinks you had, yesterday, I'll bet.
-You're just not a drinking man, Theodore Truesdale, and you're too old
-to begin."
-
-"I'm _not_ old. You know I'm not old. You wish I were, but I'm not. Do
-we always have to quarrel?"
-
-She didn't answer. Her lips quavered, but she didn't cry. She rose and
-carried a few dishes to the sink.
-
-Ted went out to the porch with his coffee and cigarette. The view was
-unpopulated. Conscience, he told himself. My annoyance is an indication
-of it. Why should my conscience bother me because of a dream? Who can
-stop a dream?
-
-There was a scratching sound from the other side of the nutmeg tree and
-the inverted head of Hamilton appeared about ten feet above the tree's
-base.
-
-"You don't look happy."
-
-Ted didn't answer.
-
-Hamilton came down the remaining ten feet and went over to look at the
-geraniums. "Fine gardener, your wife."
-
-Ted ignored him.
-
-"Good looking, too. Maybe she could dye her hair."
-
-No words from Ted.
-
-Hamilton looked down at the house below, and back at Ted. "Don't blame
-me for that Venus trip, Truesdale. You wanted it, but bad."
-
-"I'm not blaming anybody for anything," Ted said. "Just because I had a
-dream."
-
-"Dream? Why don't you go down and ask her if she had the same dream?
-What a man won't say to clear his conscience! Let go, Truesdale, enjoy
-yourself."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Below, the blonde came out onto her patio. She was wearing white shorts
-and halter today. She looked Ted's way for seconds--and then waved.
-
-Ted waved back.
-
-"Beautiful morning," she called, and Ted answered, "It certainly is."
-
-She picked up a book from the low table near her chaise lounge and
-settled.
-
-Hamilton was sniffing the ice plant on the slope. "If the neighbors
-only knew--"
-
-"There's nothing to know. She'd be less than human if she didn't say
-'hello' after seeing me day after day."
-
-"Not to mention one night."
-
-"Oh, cut it out, drop it."
-
-His wife appeared in the doorway. "Who in the world are you talking to?"
-
-"Myself." He looked at her bleakly. "More quarreling about a job?"
-
-"No." She came out onto the porch and settled in the chair beside him.
-"Ted, there's the squirrel. That's the one who's afflicted with--with
-voyeurism."
-
-"Oh, Ann, for goodness sake."
-
-"His nest is right up there, in the nutmeg tree. Ted, I want you to
-destroy it."
-
-"Don't be childish."
-
-"I'm not being childish. They eat young bark and buds and birds' eggs.
-They're evil things, Ted."
-
-"I think they're cute."
-
-"Cute. Without the tail, they're just another rat. How some people can
-eat them is beyond me."
-
-The pinkness and the sluice and the three-armed man with the enormous
-chest seemed to swim, for a moment, in Ted's memory. Hamilton went
-scurrying up the nutmeg tree.
-
-"The little devil," Ann said.
-
-Little devil? The devil, maybe? No, not Hamilton. Ted said, "No club
-meeting today? No garden, home, cooking, household management or
-knitting circle shindigs?"
-
-"Not a one."
-
-"Why don't we drive up the coast and eat out, tonight?"
-
-"I'd love to, Ted. But I really have to finish that petit point for
-Dora's anniversary. I shouldn't be sitting here now, without it."
-
-"You look very good without it. We could stop at _Sweeney's_."
-
-_Sweeney's_ had the finest sea food west of New Orleans. And the
-immortal Sweeney, himself, behind the bar.
-
-"Don't tempt me," Ann said, and rose. "Why don't you drive up the
-coast? You're restless."
-
-"Maybe I will," he said. He tried to make it sound like an accusation,
-but it came out a flat, dull statement.
-
- * * * * *
-
-After she'd gone into the house, he sat for a while, considering the
-blonde. He didn't even know her name, and still he.... Well, why should
-he know her name? There wasn't much of her visible now; she had the
-raised section of the chaise lounge turned his way.
-
-Hamilton was nowhere in sight.
-
-He rose, after awhile, and went along the walk to the garage. He
-climbed into the convertible, started the motor, and unhooked the top,
-pressing the button to lower it.
-
-Driving out into the sunlight, he reflected this was just pique; he
-wasn't going to enjoy it, alone. A man, he ruminated, might as well be
-single.
-
-He drove along the winding coast road above Ynez Junction and parked
-there, with the whole, curving, hilly coast line spread out below him.
-The water was blue and calm with just a fringe of white where it lapped
-the beach.
-
-It was a clear day, and he could see Venus plainly. He thought of last
-night and tried to make it a dream, a product of his wishful thinking,
-as were the dialogues with Hamilton.
-
-Sitting around, going simple, that's what he'd been doing. Talking
-squirrels and trysts on Venus and a quick trip to Mars. Punchy, that's
-all. The devil finds things for idle hands to....
-
-No, it wasn't that; it was just day-dreaming. The devil had no part of
-this business. Nor had his idleness. A peeping-Tom, Hamilton might be,
-but no devil.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_"I think I can see," Peak thought! "Not much, but a dim mist. Lern,
-are you listening?"_
-
-_"I'm listening. I guess Ha is working, all right. He's going to work
-on some others, too."_
-
-_Peak outer-thought, "Have you considered our big problem, to keep Lust
-minor?"_
-
-_"I believe I have it licked. It's an Earthian custom I've been
-studying, and it surely keeps its adherents in line. Lust wouldn't grow
-much under it."_
-
-_"A custom?"_
-
-_"Marriage of course. How do you feel about it?"_
-
-_"It's--a desperate measure. It's a--"_
-
-_"A desperate problem," Lern interposed. "True love can survive it, I'm
-sure. We don't want a repetition of the situation that forced us to
-kill Lust--and lose our bodies. Of course, yours is the final word."_
-
-_"It--well, we'll try it. I just hope Ha keeps working. It would be
-just like that whimsical imp to get us half materialized and then leave
-us."_
-
-_"Or what if something should happen to him, his spirit killed in some
-way?"_
-
-_"We won't even inner-think that."_
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ted drove down the curving, back rocky road to _Sweeney's_. It was a
-low-roofed building of cedar shakes, with an open air dining room on
-piles above the water of the cove.
-
-Ted stayed in the bar. He had French-fried shrimp and garlic bread and
-beer. And after that, some whiskey. And after that, some dialogue with
-Sweeney regarding the respective merits of Shahn and Albright. Ted knew
-very little about either of them, but Sweeney knew less so it was a
-satisfying discussion.
-
-He drove home in a mood. He was remembering the Honolulu days with
-Ann, and the days and nights before that. What they'd had, they'd find
-again. There was a solution to it all, and not on Venus.
-
-He came home to find a note on the kitchen table:
-
-_Henri's in town and he insisted I visit the Blairs with him. He's just
-done over their place. Don't wait up._
-
-Henri was elegantly thin and fairly tall. An interior decorator with a
-modern bent. He'd done the Truesdale place three times.
-
-If it were anyone but Ann, I'd be jealous, Ted thought. As it was, he
-felt only a grating annoyance. He poured a king-sized jolt of bourbon,
-added a trace of water and went into the study.
-
-He didn't turn on the light. He sat in the dark and sipped the
-bourbon--and fell asleep....
-
-The blonde had her hair up and was wearing a red jacket above a white
-flannel skirt. Her smile was the same as last night's, and possibly a
-shade warmer.
-
-"How did you know I'd come?" he asked.
-
-"I didn't, but a girl can hope. Bad day?"
-
-"Oh--unsatisfactory. And yours?"
-
-"Barren. Your wife's out to get Hamilton, isn't she?"
-
-"I guess."
-
-"Does she--suspect about us?"
-
-"No." A pause, and, "Why did your husband leave you?"
-
-"He didn't. I left him. Engineer, lived by the slide rule. Are you
-going to leave your wife?"
-
-He didn't answer that. He pulled her close and buried his face in the
-bright hair. The violet mists and the smell of grass and the envious
-sigh of the willows. Why couldn't all life be like this?...
-
-When he woke, again, dawn was coming through the study window. He rose
-wearily and stood near the glass door that led to the rear yard. On
-the wet grass, the morning quietness lay like a blanket. In the house
-below, he saw the shadowed, stretching figure of a woman behind a drawn
-shade. She, too, was awake.
-
-Coincidence? And the rest an illusion? He'd always been more or less
-conventional; it was difficult to accept the super-conventional without
-reserve or rationalization.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He climbed the stairs quietly, avoiding the fifth, which squeaked.
-In the bathroom, he studied his stubbled face as though it were the
-face of a stranger. Then he went into the bedroom and rumpled the bed
-clothes.
-
-She'd never believe he slept in the study; she'd never believe he'd
-been to Venus. For a moment he stood there, looking at the rumpled bed.
-
-Then he went quietly through the dressing room and into her room.
-
-She lay partially on her back, partially on her left side, her dark
-hair like ink against the clean white pillow, one slender tanned arm
-flung along the pillow's upper edge, her other arm bent, her cheek
-resting against the back of that hand.
-
-There was just the breath of a smile on her full lips. What did
-she dream of, his Ann? Of porridge and pottery and poinsettias? Of
-schedules, menus, rotary floor waxers and blight elimination? Or didn't
-she dream, at all?
-
-Wasn't there, somewhere, a dream they could share?
-
-Her eyes opened, and she said, "Good morning. Just getting in?"
-
-He shook his head. "I slept in the study. I rumpled the bed clothes in
-my room, but I really slept in the study."
-
-"And why did you rumple the bed clothes?" She was awake and aware; it
-was one of her many attributes that she was bright from the opening of
-her eyes in the morning.
-
-He said carefully, "I rumpled the bed clothes because I didn't think
-you'd believe I slept in the study. I thought you'd think I was out
-chasing blondes, or something."
-
-She smiled, studying him, saying nothing.
-
-"How were the Blairs? And how was Henri?"
-
-"The Blairs are more fun when you're along. Henri tried to kiss me."
-Her eyes awaited a reaction to that last.
-
-"I'd try to kiss you, too, if I were Henri. Didn't you want him to?"
-
-She frowned. "I--didn't. I don't--think I did. We have so many common
-interests and he _is_ handsome. I must be sub-human."
-
-"Maybe you're in love with me. The common interests would be flowers,
-food and interior decoration. If I were a girl, I wouldn't want to be
-kissed by a man who gave his life to that."
-
-"Don't be superior. Henri's a man of many conquests, as any of my
-friends will admit when they're drunk. Ted, I don't usually like this
-kind of talk. Why am I talking like this?"
-
-"Maybe you dreamed of Henri."
-
-"Oh, Ted--" She slid her feet out, and sat up on the edge of the bed.
-"Do you think--with us, it was just--animal attraction?"
-
-"It could have been. You were, and are, an attractive animal. It's
-nothing to be ashamed of. Some of the soundest marriages are founded on
-it."
-
-"And maintained?"
-
-"Founded and maintained. With a minor compromise, here and there. But
-no major ones. When are you going to see Henri again?"
-
-"For lunch, here. And you'd better be home, Theodore Truesdale. I don't
-want to be one of those--those, well, one of them."
-
-"I'll be here, glowering. I suppose, with the super gourmet as guest,
-you'll be working on the lunch all morning."
-
-She shook her head. "I'm giving him hamburgers. It's a sort of test."
-
-What was the change in her, this morning? Ted sensed it, but couldn't
-isolate it. And what had motivated it? Being with Henri?
-
- * * * * *
-
-_Peak thought, "I can smell, too, now. Ha, you've brought another
-subject up?"_
-
-_"I'm going to have to. That Truesdale is getting conscience attacks.
-It seems to be an Earth trait. I've got an awful hot wire on the line,
-though. He could materialize us fast."_
-
-_"Well, get him, get him. Or stir up Truesdale. Maybe you could
-alienate him from his wife and he'd spend more time here."_
-
-_"I'm doing my best, sir. The situation is--muddled. The wife doesn't
-favor me at all."_
-
-_"Watch yourself. Be careful."_
-
-_"That I will."_
-
-_In their glade, Bee outer-thought, "Darling, I can see! Ha didn't
-desert us. Sweetheart, Lust is wakening."_
-
-_"I can't see, dearest. Are you going to materialize and not I?
-Beloved, if--"_
-
-_"Calm yourself, darling. You_ ARE _materializing. Not the
-senses, yet, perhaps, but I can see one leg of yours, one long, slim,
-lovely leg. Oh, beloved one--"_
-
-_"This time, we'll be careful. Even if we--what is that word Peak
-used?"_
-
-_"Marriage. We'll make it work. This isn't Earth."_
-
- * * * * *
-
-Ted took a warm shower and a cool one. He toweled himself vigorously,
-and put on shorts and a tee shirt. After breakfast, he would cut the
-lawn and clean out the garage and dig up the tulip bulbs. He'd had
-enough of sitting.
-
-He cut the lawn and cleaned out the garage and dug up the tulip beds.
-He worked with a devout if subdued fury and was conscious of Ann's
-occasional wondering glance from the windows. He finished it all by
-ten-thirty.
-
-He put the spade and lawn mower away, and donned a pair of sneakers.
-Then he went out into the backyard and looked up into the branches of
-the nutmeg tree.
-
-He could see the nest, and it was attainable. He stood staring at it,
-trying to summon enough moral decision to take the first step. It would
-probably mean no more blonde. It....
-
-Hamilton peered over the edge of his nest and it seemed to Ted he could
-almost see the apprehension in those black eyes. Hamilton scrambled out
-and came hurrying down, head first.
-
-"Now what?"
-
-"You're evil."
-
-"_I'm_ evil. Projection, huh? You're kind of mixed up, Truesdale. _I_
-wasn't with the blonde, last night."
-
-"I'm not ready to believe I was either. But this--this evil can be
-mental."
-
-"Your wife's been talking to you. What about her? What about this
-Henri?"
-
-"What about him? You're treading on dangerous ground, you bushy-tailed
-rat."
-
-"Am I? Henri likes the place. I've been showing it to him. And pointing
-out its advantages. No husbands to come home, unexpectedly." Hamilton
-paused. "He'll be up there, again. And with _whom_, Truesdale?"
-
-"Not Ann. She's incorruptible, you devil."
-
-"Sure, she is. So what are you worried about?"
-
-From the back porch, Ann said, "Ted, what are you doing?"
-
-He turned to face her, as did Hamilton. Ted said, "I was going to climb
-up and knock down that nest."
-
-"Oh, forget it. It was a silly whim of mine, anyway. Look at him, Ted.
-He seems to be begging you."
-
-"You don't know him," Ted said. "He fools us all."
-
-"Oh, Ted, you've had too much sun this morning. Look at those bright,
-black eyes. He wants to be friends."
-
-Hamilton sat up on his haunches, his front paws curled, looking from
-one to the other beseechingly.
-
-Ted saw the quick moisture in Ann's eyes and said, "Well, it's your
-decision, then. It's your responsibility." He walked past her and into
-the house.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He went up to his room. Projection.... The little devil had hit him
-with that one. Don't blame yourself, Ted Truesdale. Ann has too many
-unimportant interests; Ann's cold. How many lines of communication did
-he have to her, other than the physical? Had he tried to find enough
-points of intellectual contact?
-
-When they were first married it was all art with Ann. Because he was an
-artist. When she'd discovered he was an artist who knew nothing of art,
-that had died. The home, then, and she'd made him a home to be proud
-of. Wasn't it the place he spent most of his time, sitting around? But,
-with these interests, Ann had grown. While he sat, she'd grown.
-
-She'd grown beyond bars and dancing and small talk. She didn't realize
-it, herself, but she'd grown beyond him. The two bedrooms had been
-originally his idea, so he wouldn't waken her if he read late at night.
-
-And when that wasn't sufficient to kill his yawning hours, he'd tried
-to come back along the single, physical line of communication. What
-else did he have to offer her?
-
-He took another shower. He shaved and annointed his hair with perfumed
-oil. He wore his newest, trickiest slacks and an open-necked sport
-shirt. He'd been told he had an attractive neck.
-
-Then he went down to lunch.
-
-In the living room, in Ted's favorite chair near the fireplace, Henri
-sat, a drink in his hand.
-
-Henri rose, a dark, dynamic figure. He said genially, "Well, Ted, old
-man, it's been some time."
-
-"Not long enough for me to be an old man," Ted said. "How goes the
-newest campaign, Henri?"
-
-Henri's smile was bland, his hand-clasp firm. "Slowly. No ill will, I
-hope, Ted?" Poise, assurance, the light touch.
-
-"I'm not as modern as I should be, probably," Ted answered. "Been to
-Venus, lately?"
-
-The drink wobbled in Henri's left hand. The poise, for a moment, was
-shattered. "Ven--Venice? In Italy, you mean?"
-
-"In California. You're trembling, Henri. Your heart?"
-
-"Heart--?" Blank, oafish stare, the poise scrambling to get back.
-
-"At our age, we have to watch the ticker," Ted warned him. "What are
-you drinking?"
-
-Henri stared at his nearly-empty glass. "Scotch--I--ah--"
-
-"Sure thing. I'll have one with you." Ted went over to the liquor
-cabinet.
-
-When he returned, with the pair of drinks, Ann was in the room. Ann
-said, "I could use one, myself."
-
-Some of Henri's poise was back and all of his smile. "Mix her a strong
-one, Teddy boy. Build up her resistance."
-
-Hamburger, Ann had called it, but it was like ambrosia. The talk flowed
-around Ted; food, fashion, furniture, flowers.
-
-Henri was witty and articulate. Ann appreciative and responsive. Ted
-present.
-
-All the things he'd read, and nothing to say. Mann he'd read, and
-Joyce. Shakespeare and Spinoza, Emerson, Shelley and....
-
-And there was a lull momentarily in the conversation.
-
-Ted said quickly, "I batted .314 at Houston. That's in the Texas
-League."
-
-Ann stared at him, smiling. Henri stared at him, smirking. They went
-back to their discussion.
-
-What weapons did he have? He sat there while the talk poured over him,
-turning into a wrathful midget, hating them both.
-
-At two, he rose, from the table, "I ... have a golf date. Hate to leave
-you two alone."
-
-"We'll try to get along, old boy," Henri said smilingly. "Keep your eye
-on the ball."
-
-Ann said, "Easy at the nineteenth hole, honey." She lifted her lips for
-his kiss.
-
-They were soft and cool.
-
-He didn't have a golf date. He didn't want to leave them. But he
-couldn't sit there, growing smaller and duller by the minute. He was an
-artist and an athlete, not a worm.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He drove to the country club, and sat at the bar. Pete Orcutt and
-Johnny Devlin came in about three-thirty, and they settled down in the
-card room to some canasta.
-
-Pete said, "Henri's in town. Done the Blair's place for them."
-
-"I know," Johnny said. "Thank heavens my mate's at the lake. How about
-yours, Pete?"
-
-"In Denver, visiting her mother."
-
-Ted said evenly, "Henri's sitting at my house, boring my wife to death,
-right now. I don't worry about Henri."
-
-Pete coughed. Johnny studied his hand intently. Neither of them said a
-word.
-
-The game went on. Ted had too many wild cards, or not enough. Nothing
-worked. He fed Johnny and got garbage from Pete. He drank and simmered
-and watched their scores pile up.
-
-At five-thirty, he rose and said, "I don't mind losing to you guys, but
-you can't expect me to support you." He wrote out two checks.
-
-"Bad loser," Pete said, winking at Johnny.
-
-Johnny said, "We'll have to get some golf in, Ted. Give me a ring, any
-time. I'm a free man, for two weeks."
-
-Ted nodded, and left.
-
-It was six when he got home. There was another note:
-
- _Irma needed a fourth in a hurry and she sounded so desperate, and
- I knew you wouldn't mind. I might be late._
-
- _XXX_
- _A_
-
-He looked at the x's doubtfully. It wasn't like Ann to add symbolic
-kisses. He had enough whiskey in him so that it didn't seem improper to
-phone.
-
-Irma answered.
-
-"Hello, Irma. Is Ann there?"
-
-"She is. Checking, Ted?"
-
-"Of course not," he said stiffly. "May I speak with her, please?"
-
-Ann's voice. "Nothing wrong, I hope?"
-
-"Well, is Henri with you?"
-
-"No. Why--?"
-
-"Something kind of important's come up, and it's down his alley. Do you
-know where he is? What time did he leave here?"
-
-"He left at two-thirty. Said he had to see the Blairs. Maybe you can
-get him there."
-
-"Thanks, I'll try. Honey--I--ah, have a good game." He hung up.
-
-Two-thirty. Well, that was all right. Half an hour after Ted had left.
-Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour.... He poured a drink.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour.... He went out onto the
-porch. The blonde was on her patio, all dressed up in filmy green.
-Another blonde sat in the chair near her, male, with sport jacket and
-tanned face, with a drink in his hand.
-
-Hamilton's work?
-
-Hamilton came scrambling down the nutmeg tree. "Still hot?"
-
-"Go away."
-
-Hamilton looked down at the patio and back at Ted. "Her cousin from
-Milwaukee. Henri's making the trip, tonight."
-
-"For the blonde?"
-
-"Don't be naive."
-
-"If you're inferring that my wife, my Ann is going--"
-
-"I only said Henri's making the trip. Maybe, just in hope. But how in
-hell will you ever know? Unless you're there, yourself?"
-
-"I'm not going anywhere," Ted said. "You can look for another stooge,
-Lucifer. I love my wife...."
-
-For seconds, Hamilton stared at Ted with those beady, black eyes. Then,
-"You're serious, aren't you. You're leveling?"
-
-"I'm serious."
-
-Hamilton looked at the nutmeg tree. "Oh, Truesdale, if you knew the
-story. If you knew what this meant." He started up the tree, and
-paused. "Well, there are others, plenty of them." He went quickly up
-the rest of the way.
-
-Ted didn't even glance at the blonde, again, before going back into
-the house. He put some Cole Porter on the record player and sat by the
-fireplace.
-
-Honolulu and Houston and _Sweeney's_ and the country club merged in
-his mind as the whiskey drowsiness started to creep through him. He
-couldn't go to sleep, not before Ann came home. He had some things to
-tell her.
-
-Before _she_ went to sleep.
-
-Ann, Ann, thirty minutes, Ann, oh beloved darling....
-
-The last record finished and shut off the machine. Ted dreamed of
-homering in the ninth, against Louisville, with the bases loaded.
-
-He woke to a black room. Had Ann come in, not seen him in the living
-room, and gone to bed? Ann, no. Ann, be awake. Ann, you wouldn't like
-Venus--without me. I hope. Ann....
-
-He stumbled out into the hall, and looked up the steps. No lights
-there, either. He ran up the stairs, whimpering, and through the
-dressing room into her room. He snapped on the big overhead light.
-
-She was asleep. Asleep--and smiling.
-
-He was shaking her. He was sobbing, burying his wet face in her
-shoulder, trembling and incoherent.
-
-"Ted, baby, what is the matter? What's happened, darling?"
-
-He told her. Incoherently, but swiftly, holding her tightly all the
-while. From the first of Hamilton's words to the last. And finished
-with, "I've wanted you so badly, and you seemed so distant. I know
-there's no excusing me, but I want you to understand, to know how much
-I--"
-
-He was silent, spent, weak as water.
-
-She stroked his hair. She said, "Wanting me isn't enough, wasn't
-enough. Can't you see that, dearest? A woman must be needed, not
-wanted. Darling, everything's going to be all right, now."
-
-"Ann, I haven't the right to ask. But--did I bring you back from--I
-mean, were you on Venus?"
-
-She put a soft hand on his lips. "Sweetheart, what a horrible question.
-I'm your Ann, remember? I'm your darling. And nobody else is going to
-come between us. This will be our room, tonight, and all the nights."
-
- * * * * *
-
-_The now embodied assembly met above the stream they could hear, in the
-glade they could see._
-
-_Ha said, "I've a request from Earthians, that Truesdale pair."_
-
-_"Request?" Peak said._
-
-_"They'd like to spend the weekend, here, all their weekends. He works
-the rest of the week, but--"_
-
-_"Earthians, here?" Peak interrupted. "I'll be darned if--"_
-
-_Ha said, "Remember, if it wasn't for them, we'd still be disembodied.
-I think this is a voting matter, Peak."_
-
-_"Them? Him, you mean."_
-
-_"Oh, no," Ha corrected. "She was here, too, that final night. Twice,
-as a matter of fact. The last time with her husband. I say they're fine
-people, and I'd be proud to welcome them."_
-
-_And it was so voted._
-
-*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS ***
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-<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of I'll See You In My Dreams, by William Campbell Gault</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
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-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: I'll See You In My Dreams</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: William Campbell Gault</div>
-
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: May 15, 2021 [eBook #65347]</div>
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-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div>
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-
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS ***</div>
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-
-<h1>I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS</h1>
-
-<h2>By William Campbell Gault</h2>
-
-<p>Ted really loved his wife, but somehow<br />
-the blonde next door kept popping into his<br />
-dreams&mdash;and making them a vivid reality....</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Imagination Stories of Science and Fantasy<br />
-September 1951<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p><i>El outer-thought, "I've had all I want of it, haven't you?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Nothing from Bee for seconds, and then: "I&mdash;don't know. I suppose.
-You've been inner-thinking, El. You've been brooding?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I've been brooding. When did our bodies go, Bee?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"When Lust was killed. I think we made a mistake, El. I think, at the
-time, we were bemused. He wasn't the best of the gods, but he had his
-points. We've been inner-thinking alike, dear. This plane isn't enough.
-But what&mdash;" Silence.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>She thought, "Over the hills? This isn't all of our land. There are
-people in Valdora."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Not&mdash;the kind of people I want to be. And how about the others, how
-about the Assembly? Will they feel as we do?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Why not? Don't they miss the colors they can't see, the grass they
-can't smell, the streams they can't hear? Weren't they human, too,
-once?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"They were. And perhaps they think as we do. But they won't project
-anyone to Valdora. We don't want any part of that town. However, dear,
-I'll bring it up. If I had a belly, I'd have a bellyful of this."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>In the glade they couldn't see, above the stream they couldn't hear,
-the Assembly met.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"New business?" the Peak thought.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I've some," Bee thought. "It's&mdash;it may be mutiny."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"We'll listen," Peak answered. "Speaking for myself, and myself alone,
-I'm ready to listen to mutiny. So long as it doesn't involve Valdora.
-I wouldn't be surprised if the others agree. Could it concern the
-resurrection of a minor god who grew major?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Lust," Bee agreed. "I want a body."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Peak was silent as the affirmative thoughts poured in from the entire
-assembly. Then Peak thought, "I'm sure we won't need a vote on that.
-And</i> how <i>would we resurrect Lust?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Not by importing Valdorans," Bee answered.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Nor Velugians," someone thought.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Nor any of the others," Peak summed up for them. "So&mdash;...."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The scientist Lern thought, "Is this the only planet in the galaxy?
-Why confine our thinking?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Not that bloody Mars," Peak thought. "I'll veto that, every time."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Earth?" Bee suggested. "What's wrong with Earth?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Ha thought, "It would take too long to answer that one. From what I've
-heard of it, they're less ardent than arduous. How many lovers have
-they developed? Major league lovers, that is."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Bee protested, "One could be developed. The material's there, and the
-planet's attainable. I say let's project one of us in some innocent
-guise, some animal who talks the language."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"But who'd volunteer?" Lern wanted to know.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"No volunteers," Peak decided. "Ha will go, to improve his education.
-What he doesn't know about Earth needs knowing."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Lern thought, "How can we keep him minor, if we resurrect him? This
-Lust has a terrible appetite."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"That," answered Peak, "will be your job. You'll have to think of
-something that will keep his weight and power constant."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Ha was doing no outer-thinking; Ha was inner-thinking about Earth, and
-bodies.</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ted Truesdale was sitting on the back porch, supposedly enjoying the
-sun. He was, in reality, enjoying the view. The blonde who'd bought the
-house directly behind them, and considerably below them, was out on her
-patio.</p>
-
-<p>She <i>was</i> enjoying the sun. She wore a skimpy halter and a pair of
-shorts that were. She was well oiled and lying on her stomach. The tan
-of her shoulders and along the back of her legs was a fine wheat brown
-and she was due to turn over.</p>
-
-<p>Ted was not lascivious, though Ann Truesdale had frequently stated he
-almost was. Ted, to put it honestly, was thirty-nine and worrying about
-the forties. It didn't seem logical that he would feel any different
-at forty than he had at thirty-nine. He'd noticed no change between
-thirty-nine and sixteen; he was a healthy man.</p>
-
-<p>But there were so many stories about the forties&mdash;and the fifties
-followed them so closely.</p>
-
-<p>Now, the blonde was about to turn over. She had one hand, palm
-downward, on the blanket beneath her and&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>And from the doorway, Ann Truesdale said, "Theodore Truesdale, you
-licentious old man. I never realized why you sat out&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He turned to face his wife. His voice was a model of outraged
-innocence. "For heaven's sake, Ann&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>She sighed, staring at him. She was small and dark and well put
-together, and didn't look at all like a woman who could devote every
-conscious hour to the house. But she was.</p>
-
-<p>"Ogling," she said.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Ann&mdash;you'd think I was&mdash;" He shook his head.</p>
-
-<p>"You are. Infidelity can be mental, I read somewhere."</p>
-
-<p>"You <i>read</i>?"</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be superior. I was looking up a recipe in Maitland's magazine,
-I think, and I saw the picture of this man staring, as you just were,
-and&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"You've answered my question," he interrupted. "Ann, I love <i>you</i>."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, that's a strange way to show it, I must say, just eating that
-divorcee with your eyes. You should have a job, something to do. You've
-too much energy to just sit around like this, Ted."</p>
-
-<p>Ted sighed. At thirty-nine, he had retired. At sixteen, he'd thought he
-was the new Bellows, having facility with a brush and being no slouch
-with the horsehide. The St. Paul Saints had shattered the baseball
-dream, and Ted's own objective self appraisal had killed the Bellows
-hope.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He had turned to commercial art and had done extremely well from the
-start. At thirty-nine, he'd retired.</p>
-
-<p>Now, he said, "I've been thinking of going to work."</p>
-
-<p>"Painting again? Ted, really?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not painting. I loathe painting. That's one reason I retired. Maybe
-I'll buy a cheap ball club."</p>
-
-<p>"Ted," she said despairingly, "what's wrong with <i>work</i>?" She came over
-to take the deck chair next to his.</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing," he said. "Unless it gets to be a disease. From the time I
-was sixteen until I was thirty-eight, I worked like three men. That's
-twenty-two years a man, and I've forty-four years of rest due me. If
-I'm alive, at eighty-three, I'll go back to work."</p>
-
-<p>"Nobody," she said wearily, "can ever get any sense out of you." She
-looked down at the patio below. "Do you really think she's pretty, Ted?"</p>
-
-<p>The blonde was now on her back.</p>
-
-<p>"She has a fair figure. I haven't seen much of her face."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose," Ann said hesitantly, "I've failed you, somewhere."</p>
-
-<p>"Well," Ted began.</p>
-
-<p>But Ann rose hastily. "Heavens, I forgot I had soup on the stove." The
-screen door slammed behind her.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes went to the blonde, moved away, came back.</p>
-
-<p>"Dreams, that's all you've got!"</p>
-
-<p>Ted looked at the doorway, but it was vacant. He looked down at the
-patio below, but the blonde was quiescent. Besides, the voice had been
-closer.</p>
-
-<p>And there was <i>nobody</i> in view. There was one small, scrubby squirrel
-looking at him from the base of the nutmeg tree. Squirrels don't talk.</p>
-
-<p>Through the screen, Ted heard dimly the movements of Ann in the
-kitchen, and below, the blonde had her eyes closed. Nobody, nobody,
-nobody....</p>
-
-<p>He said, "What do you mean, dreams?" and watched the squirrel closely.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be stupid," the voice said. The squirrel hadn't opened its mouth.</p>
-
-<p>Ted rose, and looked through the screen door, but Ann was still in the
-kitchen, her back to him. Down on her patio, the blonde didn't stir.</p>
-
-<p>Ted said, "I'll be damned."</p>
-
-<p>"You're all damned," the voice said, "damned by your loyalties. Clean
-living is killing you. But you can dream."</p>
-
-<p>Ted looked at the squirrel, who was looking at him. Ted sat down again
-in the deck chair. He asked, "What good's a dream?"</p>
-
-<p>"What good's reality?" No movement of the squirrel's mouth, but a
-certain intentness in its gaze. "And how can you tell which is the
-dream? How will you ever know? How much do you know, anyway?"</p>
-
-<p>"More than a squirrel. You don't even know how far it is from home
-plate to first base."</p>
-
-<p>"Ninety feet. How far is it to Mars, Brain?"</p>
-
-<p>"Thirty-five million miles&mdash;and more."</p>
-
-<p>A silence. The squirrel walked around the base of the tree and came
-into view on the other side. It moved cautiously toward the porch, its
-bushy tail alert as a guidon. About halfway between the porch and the
-tree, it paused, sitting up on its haunches.</p>
-
-<p>"Thirty-five million miles to Mars. Close your eyes, Truesdale!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ted obediently closed his eyes and saw a film of red. It could have
-been the sun through his eye-lids! Then the redness faded and against a
-pink background a figure appeared.</p>
-
-<p>It was the figure of a bearded, three-armed man, nailing some boards on
-what appeared to be a sluice. Beyond and above the bent figure, a green
-mountain towered, its peak topped with a polar cap. At the horizon end
-of the sluice, water was visible, flowing this way.</p>
-
-<p>The man was big, with an enormous chest. Ted's own chest gasped for
-oxygen, and he had a sense of lightness, physical lightness.</p>
-
-<p>The man drove in the last nail, and sat on a hummock, above the
-sluice, watching the water slowly work his way. Then he reached into a
-container at his side and pulled out&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>Pulled out what could be nothing other than a skinned rat. Ted gagged,
-and the man looked up. He had a knife in one of his other hands now.</p>
-
-<p>"Lunch?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not a rat. I'll be hanged if I'll eat a rat."</p>
-
-<p>"Who in the world asked you to eat a rat?"</p>
-
-<p>Ted opened his eyes to see his wife standing in the doorway. He smiled
-at her, and turned to look at the squirrel. The squirrel was just
-disappearing up the nutmeg tree.</p>
-
-<p>"I was dreaming," Ted said to his wife.</p>
-
-<p>"And talking in your sleep."</p>
-
-<p>"Was I?" He rose.</p>
-
-<p>They went in to lunch.</p>
-
-<p>It was probably an excellent meal; all of Ann's were. Ted didn't
-remember eating it; he kept seeing that pink background and the man
-with the rat. Mars? Undoubtedly. A dream? Well....</p>
-
-<p>"That squirrel&mdash;" Mrs. Truesdale said.</p>
-
-<p>"Squirrel?" Ted looked up hastily.</p>
-
-<p>"He watches me dress. I've seen him, at the window. The one in the back
-yard, this morning."</p>
-
-<p>"Pull the shade," Ted suggested.</p>
-
-<p>"For a squirrel? Wouldn't I feel silly? It's so&mdash;so old maidish."</p>
-
-<p>"That it is," Ted agreed. "I'll give it some thought this afternoon.
-Maybe something will come to me."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't strain yourself dear," Ann said. "Didn't you get enough rest
-this morning?"</p>
-
-<p>"I wasn't resting," Ted told her. "I was considering various
-investments in my mind. There are a lot of arguments against buying a
-ball club, all right. It's a headache."</p>
-
-<p>Ann shook her head. Then, "The Garden Club meets this afternoon. You
-won't be needing the car?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not today. Do you remember our honeymoon, Ann? Remember Honolulu?"</p>
-
-<p>"How could I ever forget it, Ted?" Her eyes were reminiscent. "Those
-flowers, those beautiful hibiscus and&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>Ted poured another cup of coffee.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>When Ann had left, and he went back to the porch, the blonde was just
-coming through the sliding glass door that led from her living room to
-the patio. The squirrel wasn't in sight.</p>
-
-<p>The blonde looked up his way, and Ted smiled. He doubted if she could
-see a smile, at this distance, but it seemed presumptuous to wave.</p>
-
-<p>Did she smile in return? He thought she did.</p>
-
-<p>He sat down in the deck chair, and gave two minutes of thought to
-possible investments entailing a daily job. None appeared desirable.</p>
-
-<p>At the age of twenty-two, before he became inured to them, Ted had been
-in love with a model. It had been a warm, bright, ecstatic affair,
-though it had ended with mutual relief. Since that time, there had been
-only Ann. And she'd been enough, at first. Before the home and garden
-obsession had engulfed her.</p>
-
-<p>Now, Ted told himself, <i>I'm not an unreasonable man. I am a romantic,
-admittedly, and full of latent energy, but I have no natural Tom-cat
-inclinations.</i></p>
-
-<p>The blonde was reading. Looked like a novel, though it could have been
-a cook book or a text on hooked rugs. Probably a novel of romance.
-Her shoulders were bare and finely moulded, her chin line clean. He
-wondered about the color of her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>From the other side of the nutmeg tree, the scrubby squirrel again came
-into view. At the base of the tree, it stood for a moment with its back
-to Ted, looking down at the blonde.</p>
-
-<p>Then it turned and came over to inspect a weather-beaten golf ball near
-the sprinkler. Ted watched it closely.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, traveler, what did you think of Mars?"</p>
-
-<p>"Didn't see much of it," Ted answered.</p>
-
-<p>"There's not much to see. Was that a dream?"</p>
-
-<p>"Wasn't it?"</p>
-
-<p>"Couldn't get your breath, could you? You <i>know</i> you were there, don't
-you?"</p>
-
-<p>"No."</p>
-
-<p>The squirrel sat down. "Difficult, aren't you? Why should I bother?"</p>
-
-<p>Ted said nothing.</p>
-
-<p>"She's a beautiful girl. Can't see why her husband would leave her."</p>
-
-<p>Ted asked, "Who's a beautiful girl?"</p>
-
-<p>The squirrel went over to nose the golf ball, again.</p>
-
-<p>"I asked a question," Ted said.</p>
-
-<p>The squirrel sat up, looking at the nutmeg tree. "Look, Mr. Truesdale,
-we've got to have a meeting of minds. You know who's a beautiful girl,
-and so do I. Good gosh, you've been sitting there, drooling, all
-morning. And now you're back for more." The bright black eyes turned
-Ted's way. "Don't be so conventional. That's what kept you from being a
-first rate artist."</p>
-
-<p>Ted was silent.</p>
-
-<p>"Do we do business? Or don't we?"</p>
-
-<p>Ted said, "How can you talk without opening your mouth?"</p>
-
-<p>"Talk? Squirrels can't talk, you fool."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, how can you make yourself heard, then?"</p>
-
-<p>"Do you have to pry, Truesdale? You're getting a break, as it is. Do
-you have to know <i>everything</i>?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ted looked at his hands, and at the nutmeg tree. And back at the
-squirrel. A thirty-nine year old retired artist, sitting in the sun and
-talking to himself. What a jerk he was getting to be.</p>
-
-<p>"Okay, I've been wrong before." The squirrel started for the tree.</p>
-
-<p>"Wait!" Ted almost shouted.</p>
-
-<p>From below, the blonde glanced his way, and he realized his voice had
-carried that far.</p>
-
-<p>The squirrel waited; the blonde went back to her book.</p>
-
-<p>"What," Ted asked hesitantly, "did you mean about doing business?"</p>
-
-<p>"You and the blonde. Don't tell me you wouldn't like to get to know
-her."</p>
-
-<p>Ted squirmed in his chair. "I&mdash;well, she's certainly lovely."</p>
-
-<p>"Sure. I'll go down and sound her out. I'll keep in touch, Truesdale."</p>
-
-<p>The squirrel went down the hill and hopped on the low, red brick wall
-that bordered the patio. The blonde looked up from her reading.</p>
-
-<p>Was <i>she</i> talking to the squirrel? Her lips were moving.</p>
-
-<p>Then she rose, and went into the house. When she came out again, she
-put some nuts on the low brick wall. And went back to her reading.</p>
-
-<p>Ted watched for signs of further dialogue, but there were none. The
-squirrel came up the hill, the nuts bulging its cheeks. It didn't even
-glance at Ted as it went up the trunk of the tree.</p>
-
-<p>The sun moved behind a cloud and a faint breeze came up from the
-west. Ted felt drowsy, but he kept his eyes open, waiting for the
-reappearance of the squirrel.</p>
-
-<p>Nothing happened. Occasionally, the blonde would turn a page, but
-that was all. Ted went in and mixed himself a drink. Then he put some
-records on the record player and sat near the huge empty fireplace in
-the living room.</p>
-
-<p>Why wasn't he happy? Fine home, fine view, money in the bank, neat,
-pretty wife, no job to fret about, nothing to do but improve his mind.</p>
-
-<p><i>Nuts</i>, he told himself. <i>Nothing to do but covet blondes, you mean.
-Don't give me that malarkey about improving your mind.</i></p>
-
-<p>He rose, in protest, and picked out a volume of Spinoza from the
-shelves flanking the fireplace. He stayed with it for seven full
-minutes, and then mixed another drink.</p>
-
-<p>At four-thirty, he was dozing in the leather chair in his study when
-Ann came in.</p>
-
-<p>"You should see Dora's delphiniums," Ann said.</p>
-
-<p>"Should I? How do you know I haven't?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ted, you've been drinking." Her voice was not sharp, but soft, her
-attitude maternal.</p>
-
-<p>"A little. I'd like some more. Why don't we go out to dinner, some
-place where we can dance?"</p>
-
-<p>"Tonight? Have you forgotten the Drews are coming over?"</p>
-
-<p>"I've been trying to. Couldn't you phone them?"</p>
-
-<p>"Ted." She made two syllables out of it. She looked at him quietly. "Do
-they bore you terribly?"</p>
-
-<p>"They do."</p>
-
-<p>"And do I?"</p>
-
-<p>"No. You should, but you don't. You've still a potential. Well, if the
-Drews are coming, I'd better shave."</p>
-
-<p>She was looking at him thoughtfully as he left the room.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>Peak outer-thought, "Well, Ha, what do you think of Earthians?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"They're like us," Ha thought wonderingly, "except for that stuff
-growing on them."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Hair," Peak explained. "They haven't our cloud blanket, and their
-climate is ridiculous. You've&mdash;been gone some time."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Had to case a lot of spots. I guess I've a fine prospect. I'm working
-on him. Having eyes was&mdash;wonderful again. But I had that&mdash;that hair on
-me, too."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"You'll get used to it. Ha, no mix-ups, now. We're all counting on
-you."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"It's a cinch."</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>For a certain class of people, Eben Drews would undoubtedly make
-a fascinating conversationalist. For that class of people who are
-engrossed in the elimination of aphids or the control of slugs. It was
-a class that lived without Ted.</p>
-
-<p>Ted kept his eyes on Eben's face and managed a "What do you know about
-that?" at the proper intervals, but his mind was on the squirrel and
-the blonde. And the dream. Which was the dream? Here, listening to the
-Drews monologue or this morning, on Mars?</p>
-
-<p>He had a strange feeling, as the monotone droned on and on, as the
-background of Ann and Mrs. Drews' voice seemed to swell and dim, that
-this was the dream.</p>
-
-<p>As they were undressing, in the room between their bedrooms, later that
-evening, Ann said, "It won't happen again, honey. I see what you mean."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't tell me they bored you, too?"</p>
-
-<p>"A little. And <i>I'm</i> interested in gardening. Ted&mdash;" She seemed to be
-blushing.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes?" In wonder and hope, he gazed at her.</p>
-
-<p>"Ted, I'll try to read&mdash;and&mdash;widen my interests. I'll be better."</p>
-
-<p>Something warm grew in him.</p>
-
-<p>"If you'll get a job."</p>
-
-<p>The warmth receded. "Blackmail. Ann, you're incurable." He turned, and
-stalked off to his own bedroom. There, he sat on the bed and stared
-moodily at the wall, wondering about marriage.</p>
-
-<p>When the light was out, he stood by his window a few seconds, looking
-down at the house below. All the windows were dark.</p>
-
-<p>He was annoyed and frustrated and not a bit tired. But he was asleep
-five minutes after he hit the pillow. Just before he fell off, he
-thought he heard a scratching at the window.</p>
-
-<p>There was an opalescent glow which seemed to come from the solid cloud
-barrier above. There was grass and a slope leading down to the stream.
-There was no sense of wonder in Ted.</p>
-
-<p>Beyond the hills to his left, there seemed to be a darker area, as
-though there were cities there, and their resultant smog. But this
-was&mdash;pastoral, peaceful and still invigorating.</p>
-
-<p>Willows bordered the stream and along the bend there were trees which
-resembled cottonwoods, though the bark was darker. Ted breathed easily,
-and there was no change in his weight he could notice.</p>
-
-<p>Then, in a glade, surrounded by the willows, he saw the blonde. The sun
-was not visible; there was just the pearly glow. But she was sunning
-herself.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>If it was a dream, his senses were with him. He could feel the strong
-grass underfoot, smell the rich growth, hear the blood pounding in his
-temples. He walked down the hill toward the blonde.</p>
-
-<p>He pushed through the willows and came into the glade, and saw her
-quick smile of recognition.</p>
-
-<p>He smiled in return. "I won't believe it in the morning." He sat on the
-grass beside her. "Is it Venus?"</p>
-
-<p>"Where else?" Her face was finely modeled with faintly discernible
-cheek bones and a smooth jaw line. "The lover's planet, hidden from the
-universe by its atmosphere. Hamilton's work, I'll wager."</p>
-
-<p>"Hamilton?"</p>
-
-<p>"You know him, our friend from the nutmeg tree. He arranged it, didn't
-he?"</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose. He&mdash;or destiny. I shouldn't be here, really. Because I do
-love my wife, in a lot of ways, but&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"<i>Please</i> don't say she doesn't understand you. She probably does. Most
-wives do."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, yes. What I was going to say is that she isn't in sympathy with
-certain views I hold, and&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Do we have to rationalize? You wanted to be with me, and you are.
-You're with me, and we're alone. Unless you've brought your conscience?"</p>
-
-<p>"Darling," he said "I'm an artist."</p>
-
-<p>Her face was close now, her lips slightly parted. Her arms trembled
-around his neck. Her lips were warm and soft and seeking....</p>
-
-<p>The opalescence grew to a soft brilliance, growing and ebbing, ebbing
-finally to a languid dusk. The smell of grass was like a violet mist
-and the willows sighed in envy.</p>
-
-<p>"Aren't you ever going to get up, Ted?"</p>
-
-<p>He looked up sleepily to see his wife standing in the doorway. Her dark
-hair was high off her neck and her pert face was freshly scrubbed. She
-wore a red, tailored dressing robe.</p>
-
-<p>He said, "Red brings you to life, Ann. You should wear it oftener."</p>
-
-<p>"Thank you. Buckwheat cakes and Canadian bacon, sleepy head." She came
-over to sit on the edge of his bed. "Ted&mdash;I probably worded that badly
-last night about the job, but&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"But let's not talk about it before breakfast," he said quickly. "I'll
-be down in a few minutes."</p>
-
-<p>"All right." She rose, and her voice changed. "All <i>right</i>." Her back
-was stiff, as she marched out.</p>
-
-<p>In his bathroom, Ted studied himself in the mirror. His eyes were
-shadowed, his face wan. "You dog," he told his image, and smiled.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>El thought, "I wonder if Ha's had any success. I don't trust him, for
-some reason, dear."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Ha's all right," Bee thought. "Inclined to whimsey, but generally
-sound. And he wants a body as badly as we do. But only Lust can give
-us one."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"We gave Ha a body. We projected him successfully."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"On Earth, Darling, you don't want to live on Earth."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Why?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"It's all city, like Valdora and Velugia. They have no lover's county,
-like this. Would you like that, dearest?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"No, no, no. We'll have to rely on Ha. I wonder what he's done."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Working. And another thing, dearest, I wouldn't want you in any body
-but the one I loved."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Sweet."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Beloved."</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Across the breakfast table, Ann's level scrutiny was annoying. Ted
-concentrated on the cakes and bacon.</p>
-
-<p>He was just lighting a cigarette to go with his second cup of coffee,
-when he said, "What's the matter with you, this morning?"</p>
-
-<p>The cigarette trembled very little. "Matter?"</p>
-
-<p>"You seem so&mdash;oh, it would sound silly."</p>
-
-<p>"Let's have it, anyway."</p>
-
-<p>"So&mdash;sort of&mdash;<i>guilty</i>."</p>
-
-<p>He picked up the cigarette before it burned the cloth. "What kind
-of&mdash;Well, I like that. Of all the silly observations!" He shook his
-head vexedly.</p>
-
-<p>"Ted, why don't you look at me? Ted, you <i>did</i> go right to bed, last
-night?"</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her, his chin tilted pugnaciously. "No, I went to Venus
-and met a blonde. Of course I went to bed."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, what are you so nervous about? Heavens, it wasn't that little
-spat we had, or <i>you</i> had, rather, about your going to work?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, no, no. You're imagining things, Ann."</p>
-
-<p>"Look at your hand. Look how it's trembling. Ted&mdash;what is the matter?"</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing. I had a dream. Ann, I don't want to talk about it."</p>
-
-<p>"Drinking," she said. "It's those drinks you had, yesterday, I'll bet.
-You're just not a drinking man, Theodore Truesdale, and you're too old
-to begin."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm <i>not</i> old. You know I'm not old. You wish I were, but I'm not. Do
-we always have to quarrel?"</p>
-
-<p>She didn't answer. Her lips quavered, but she didn't cry. She rose and
-carried a few dishes to the sink.</p>
-
-<p>Ted went out to the porch with his coffee and cigarette. The view was
-unpopulated. Conscience, he told himself. My annoyance is an indication
-of it. Why should my conscience bother me because of a dream? Who can
-stop a dream?</p>
-
-<p>There was a scratching sound from the other side of the nutmeg tree and
-the inverted head of Hamilton appeared about ten feet above the tree's
-base.</p>
-
-<p>"You don't look happy."</p>
-
-<p>Ted didn't answer.</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton came down the remaining ten feet and went over to look at the
-geraniums. "Fine gardener, your wife."</p>
-
-<p>Ted ignored him.</p>
-
-<p>"Good looking, too. Maybe she could dye her hair."</p>
-
-<p>No words from Ted.</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton looked down at the house below, and back at Ted. "Don't blame
-me for that Venus trip, Truesdale. You wanted it, but bad."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not blaming anybody for anything," Ted said. "Just because I had a
-dream."</p>
-
-<p>"Dream? Why don't you go down and ask her if she had the same dream?
-What a man won't say to clear his conscience! Let go, Truesdale, enjoy
-yourself."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Below, the blonde came out onto her patio. She was wearing white shorts
-and halter today. She looked Ted's way for seconds&mdash;and then waved.</p>
-
-<p>Ted waved back.</p>
-
-<p>"Beautiful morning," she called, and Ted answered, "It certainly is."</p>
-
-<p>She picked up a book from the low table near her chaise lounge and
-settled.</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton was sniffing the ice plant on the slope. "If the neighbors
-only knew&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"There's nothing to know. She'd be less than human if she didn't say
-'hello' after seeing me day after day."</p>
-
-<p>"Not to mention one night."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, cut it out, drop it."</p>
-
-<p>His wife appeared in the doorway. "Who in the world are you talking to?"</p>
-
-<p>"Myself." He looked at her bleakly. "More quarreling about a job?"</p>
-
-<p>"No." She came out onto the porch and settled in the chair beside him.
-"Ted, there's the squirrel. That's the one who's afflicted with&mdash;with
-voyeurism."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Ann, for goodness sake."</p>
-
-<p>"His nest is right up there, in the nutmeg tree. Ted, I want you to
-destroy it."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be childish."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not being childish. They eat young bark and buds and birds' eggs.
-They're evil things, Ted."</p>
-
-<p>"I think they're cute."</p>
-
-<p>"Cute. Without the tail, they're just another rat. How some people can
-eat them is beyond me."</p>
-
-<p>The pinkness and the sluice and the three-armed man with the enormous
-chest seemed to swim, for a moment, in Ted's memory. Hamilton went
-scurrying up the nutmeg tree.</p>
-
-<p>"The little devil," Ann said.</p>
-
-<p>Little devil? The devil, maybe? No, not Hamilton. Ted said, "No club
-meeting today? No garden, home, cooking, household management or
-knitting circle shindigs?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not a one."</p>
-
-<p>"Why don't we drive up the coast and eat out, tonight?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'd love to, Ted. But I really have to finish that petit point for
-Dora's anniversary. I shouldn't be sitting here now, without it."</p>
-
-<p>"You look very good without it. We could stop at <i>Sweeney's</i>."</p>
-
-<p><i>Sweeney's</i> had the finest sea food west of New Orleans. And the
-immortal Sweeney, himself, behind the bar.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't tempt me," Ann said, and rose. "Why don't you drive up the
-coast? You're restless."</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe I will," he said. He tried to make it sound like an accusation,
-but it came out a flat, dull statement.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>After she'd gone into the house, he sat for a while, considering the
-blonde. He didn't even know her name, and still he.... Well, why should
-he know her name? There wasn't much of her visible now; she had the
-raised section of the chaise lounge turned his way.</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton was nowhere in sight.</p>
-
-<p>He rose, after awhile, and went along the walk to the garage. He
-climbed into the convertible, started the motor, and unhooked the top,
-pressing the button to lower it.</p>
-
-<p>Driving out into the sunlight, he reflected this was just pique; he
-wasn't going to enjoy it, alone. A man, he ruminated, might as well be
-single.</p>
-
-<p>He drove along the winding coast road above Ynez Junction and parked
-there, with the whole, curving, hilly coast line spread out below him.
-The water was blue and calm with just a fringe of white where it lapped
-the beach.</p>
-
-<p>It was a clear day, and he could see Venus plainly. He thought of last
-night and tried to make it a dream, a product of his wishful thinking,
-as were the dialogues with Hamilton.</p>
-
-<p>Sitting around, going simple, that's what he'd been doing. Talking
-squirrels and trysts on Venus and a quick trip to Mars. Punchy, that's
-all. The devil finds things for idle hands to....</p>
-
-<p>No, it wasn't that; it was just day-dreaming. The devil had no part of
-this business. Nor had his idleness. A peeping-Tom, Hamilton might be,
-but no devil.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>"I think I can see," Peak thought! "Not much, but a dim mist. Lern,
-are you listening?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I'm listening. I guess Ha is working, all right. He's going to work
-on some others, too."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Peak outer-thought, "Have you considered our big problem, to keep Lust
-minor?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I believe I have it licked. It's an Earthian custom I've been
-studying, and it surely keeps its adherents in line. Lust wouldn't grow
-much under it."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"A custom?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Marriage of course. How do you feel about it?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"It's&mdash;a desperate measure. It's a&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"A desperate problem," Lern interposed. "True love can survive it, I'm
-sure. We don't want a repetition of the situation that forced us to
-kill Lust&mdash;and lose our bodies. Of course, yours is the final word."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"It&mdash;well, we'll try it. I just hope Ha keeps working. It would be
-just like that whimsical imp to get us half materialized and then leave
-us."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Or what if something should happen to him, his spirit killed in some
-way?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"We won't even inner-think that."</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ted drove down the curving, back rocky road to <i>Sweeney's</i>. It was a
-low-roofed building of cedar shakes, with an open air dining room on
-piles above the water of the cove.</p>
-
-<p>Ted stayed in the bar. He had French-fried shrimp and garlic bread and
-beer. And after that, some whiskey. And after that, some dialogue with
-Sweeney regarding the respective merits of Shahn and Albright. Ted knew
-very little about either of them, but Sweeney knew less so it was a
-satisfying discussion.</p>
-
-<p>He drove home in a mood. He was remembering the Honolulu days with
-Ann, and the days and nights before that. What they'd had, they'd find
-again. There was a solution to it all, and not on Venus.</p>
-
-<p>He came home to find a note on the kitchen table:</p>
-
-<p><i>Henri's in town and he insisted I visit the Blairs with him. He's just
-done over their place. Don't wait up.</i></p>
-
-<p>Henri was elegantly thin and fairly tall. An interior decorator with a
-modern bent. He'd done the Truesdale place three times.</p>
-
-<p>If it were anyone but Ann, I'd be jealous, Ted thought. As it was, he
-felt only a grating annoyance. He poured a king-sized jolt of bourbon,
-added a trace of water and went into the study.</p>
-
-<p>He didn't turn on the light. He sat in the dark and sipped the
-bourbon&mdash;and fell asleep....</p>
-
-<p>The blonde had her hair up and was wearing a red jacket above a white
-flannel skirt. Her smile was the same as last night's, and possibly a
-shade warmer.</p>
-
-<p>"How did you know I'd come?" he asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't, but a girl can hope. Bad day?"</p>
-
-<p>"Oh&mdash;unsatisfactory. And yours?"</p>
-
-<p>"Barren. Your wife's out to get Hamilton, isn't she?"</p>
-
-<p>"I guess."</p>
-
-<p>"Does she&mdash;suspect about us?"</p>
-
-<p>"No." A pause, and, "Why did your husband leave you?"</p>
-
-<p>"He didn't. I left him. Engineer, lived by the slide rule. Are you
-going to leave your wife?"</p>
-
-<p>He didn't answer that. He pulled her close and buried his face in the
-bright hair. The violet mists and the smell of grass and the envious
-sigh of the willows. Why couldn't all life be like this?...</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>When he woke, again, dawn was coming through the study window. He rose
-wearily and stood near the glass door that led to the rear yard. On
-the wet grass, the morning quietness lay like a blanket. In the house
-below, he saw the shadowed, stretching figure of a woman behind a drawn
-shade. She, too, was awake.</p>
-
-<p>Coincidence? And the rest an illusion? He'd always been more or less
-conventional; it was difficult to accept the super-conventional without
-reserve or rationalization.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He climbed the stairs quietly, avoiding the fifth, which squeaked.
-In the bathroom, he studied his stubbled face as though it were the
-face of a stranger. Then he went into the bedroom and rumpled the bed
-clothes.</p>
-
-<p>She'd never believe he slept in the study; she'd never believe he'd
-been to Venus. For a moment he stood there, looking at the rumpled bed.</p>
-
-<p>Then he went quietly through the dressing room and into her room.</p>
-
-<p>She lay partially on her back, partially on her left side, her dark
-hair like ink against the clean white pillow, one slender tanned arm
-flung along the pillow's upper edge, her other arm bent, her cheek
-resting against the back of that hand.</p>
-
-<p>There was just the breath of a smile on her full lips. What did
-she dream of, his Ann? Of porridge and pottery and poinsettias? Of
-schedules, menus, rotary floor waxers and blight elimination? Or didn't
-she dream, at all?</p>
-
-<p>Wasn't there, somewhere, a dream they could share?</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes opened, and she said, "Good morning. Just getting in?"</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head. "I slept in the study. I rumpled the bed clothes in
-my room, but I really slept in the study."</p>
-
-<p>"And why did you rumple the bed clothes?" She was awake and aware; it
-was one of her many attributes that she was bright from the opening of
-her eyes in the morning.</p>
-
-<p>He said carefully, "I rumpled the bed clothes because I didn't think
-you'd believe I slept in the study. I thought you'd think I was out
-chasing blondes, or something."</p>
-
-<p>She smiled, studying him, saying nothing.</p>
-
-<p>"How were the Blairs? And how was Henri?"</p>
-
-<p>"The Blairs are more fun when you're along. Henri tried to kiss me."
-Her eyes awaited a reaction to that last.</p>
-
-<p>"I'd try to kiss you, too, if I were Henri. Didn't you want him to?"</p>
-
-<p>She frowned. "I&mdash;didn't. I don't&mdash;think I did. We have so many common
-interests and he <i>is</i> handsome. I must be sub-human."</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe you're in love with me. The common interests would be flowers,
-food and interior decoration. If I were a girl, I wouldn't want to be
-kissed by a man who gave his life to that."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be superior. Henri's a man of many conquests, as any of my
-friends will admit when they're drunk. Ted, I don't usually like this
-kind of talk. Why am I talking like this?"</p>
-
-<p>"Maybe you dreamed of Henri."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Ted&mdash;" She slid her feet out, and sat up on the edge of the bed.
-"Do you think&mdash;with us, it was just&mdash;animal attraction?"</p>
-
-<p>"It could have been. You were, and are, an attractive animal. It's
-nothing to be ashamed of. Some of the soundest marriages are founded on
-it."</p>
-
-<p>"And maintained?"</p>
-
-<p>"Founded and maintained. With a minor compromise, here and there. But
-no major ones. When are you going to see Henri again?"</p>
-
-<p>"For lunch, here. And you'd better be home, Theodore Truesdale. I don't
-want to be one of those&mdash;those, well, one of them."</p>
-
-<p>"I'll be here, glowering. I suppose, with the super gourmet as guest,
-you'll be working on the lunch all morning."</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head. "I'm giving him hamburgers. It's a sort of test."</p>
-
-<p>What was the change in her, this morning? Ted sensed it, but couldn't
-isolate it. And what had motivated it? Being with Henri?</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>Peak thought, "I can smell, too, now. Ha, you've brought another
-subject up?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I'm going to have to. That Truesdale is getting conscience attacks.
-It seems to be an Earth trait. I've got an awful hot wire on the line,
-though. He could materialize us fast."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Well, get him, get him. Or stir up Truesdale. Maybe you could
-alienate him from his wife and he'd spend more time here."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I'm doing my best, sir. The situation is&mdash;muddled. The wife doesn't
-favor me at all."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Watch yourself. Be careful."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"That I will."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>In their glade, Bee outer-thought, "Darling, I can see! Ha didn't
-desert us. Sweetheart, Lust is wakening."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I can't see, dearest. Are you going to materialize and not I?
-Beloved, if&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Calm yourself, darling. You</i> ARE <i>materializing. Not the
-senses, yet, perhaps, but I can see one leg of yours, one long, slim,
-lovely leg. Oh, beloved one&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"This time, we'll be careful. Even if we&mdash;what is that word Peak
-used?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Marriage. We'll make it work. This isn't Earth."</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Ted took a warm shower and a cool one. He toweled himself vigorously,
-and put on shorts and a tee shirt. After breakfast, he would cut the
-lawn and clean out the garage and dig up the tulip bulbs. He'd had
-enough of sitting.</p>
-
-<p>He cut the lawn and cleaned out the garage and dug up the tulip beds.
-He worked with a devout if subdued fury and was conscious of Ann's
-occasional wondering glance from the windows. He finished it all by
-ten-thirty.</p>
-
-<p>He put the spade and lawn mower away, and donned a pair of sneakers.
-Then he went out into the backyard and looked up into the branches of
-the nutmeg tree.</p>
-
-<p>He could see the nest, and it was attainable. He stood staring at it,
-trying to summon enough moral decision to take the first step. It would
-probably mean no more blonde. It....</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton peered over the edge of his nest and it seemed to Ted he could
-almost see the apprehension in those black eyes. Hamilton scrambled out
-and came hurrying down, head first.</p>
-
-<p>"Now what?"</p>
-
-<p>"You're evil."</p>
-
-<p>"<i>I'm</i> evil. Projection, huh? You're kind of mixed up, Truesdale. <i>I</i>
-wasn't with the blonde, last night."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not ready to believe I was either. But this&mdash;this evil can be
-mental."</p>
-
-<p>"Your wife's been talking to you. What about her? What about this
-Henri?"</p>
-
-<p>"What about him? You're treading on dangerous ground, you bushy-tailed
-rat."</p>
-
-<p>"Am I? Henri likes the place. I've been showing it to him. And pointing
-out its advantages. No husbands to come home, unexpectedly." Hamilton
-paused. "He'll be up there, again. And with <i>whom</i>, Truesdale?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not Ann. She's incorruptible, you devil."</p>
-
-<p>"Sure, she is. So what are you worried about?"</p>
-
-<p>From the back porch, Ann said, "Ted, what are you doing?"</p>
-
-<p>He turned to face her, as did Hamilton. Ted said, "I was going to climb
-up and knock down that nest."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, forget it. It was a silly whim of mine, anyway. Look at him, Ted.
-He seems to be begging you."</p>
-
-<p>"You don't know him," Ted said. "He fools us all."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, Ted, you've had too much sun this morning. Look at those bright,
-black eyes. He wants to be friends."</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton sat up on his haunches, his front paws curled, looking from
-one to the other beseechingly.</p>
-
-<p>Ted saw the quick moisture in Ann's eyes and said, "Well, it's your
-decision, then. It's your responsibility." He walked past her and into
-the house.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He went up to his room. Projection.... The little devil had hit him
-with that one. Don't blame yourself, Ted Truesdale. Ann has too many
-unimportant interests; Ann's cold. How many lines of communication did
-he have to her, other than the physical? Had he tried to find enough
-points of intellectual contact?</p>
-
-<p>When they were first married it was all art with Ann. Because he was an
-artist. When she'd discovered he was an artist who knew nothing of art,
-that had died. The home, then, and she'd made him a home to be proud
-of. Wasn't it the place he spent most of his time, sitting around? But,
-with these interests, Ann had grown. While he sat, she'd grown.</p>
-
-<p>She'd grown beyond bars and dancing and small talk. She didn't realize
-it, herself, but she'd grown beyond him. The two bedrooms had been
-originally his idea, so he wouldn't waken her if he read late at night.</p>
-
-<p>And when that wasn't sufficient to kill his yawning hours, he'd tried
-to come back along the single, physical line of communication. What
-else did he have to offer her?</p>
-
-<p>He took another shower. He shaved and annointed his hair with perfumed
-oil. He wore his newest, trickiest slacks and an open-necked sport
-shirt. He'd been told he had an attractive neck.</p>
-
-<p>Then he went down to lunch.</p>
-
-<p>In the living room, in Ted's favorite chair near the fireplace, Henri
-sat, a drink in his hand.</p>
-
-<p>Henri rose, a dark, dynamic figure. He said genially, "Well, Ted, old
-man, it's been some time."</p>
-
-<p>"Not long enough for me to be an old man," Ted said. "How goes the
-newest campaign, Henri?"</p>
-
-<p>Henri's smile was bland, his hand-clasp firm. "Slowly. No ill will, I
-hope, Ted?" Poise, assurance, the light touch.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not as modern as I should be, probably," Ted answered. "Been to
-Venus, lately?"</p>
-
-<p>The drink wobbled in Henri's left hand. The poise, for a moment, was
-shattered. "Ven&mdash;Venice? In Italy, you mean?"</p>
-
-<p>"In California. You're trembling, Henri. Your heart?"</p>
-
-<p>"Heart&mdash;?" Blank, oafish stare, the poise scrambling to get back.</p>
-
-<p>"At our age, we have to watch the ticker," Ted warned him. "What are
-you drinking?"</p>
-
-<p>Henri stared at his nearly-empty glass. "Scotch&mdash;I&mdash;ah&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Sure thing. I'll have one with you." Ted went over to the liquor
-cabinet.</p>
-
-<p>When he returned, with the pair of drinks, Ann was in the room. Ann
-said, "I could use one, myself."</p>
-
-<p>Some of Henri's poise was back and all of his smile. "Mix her a strong
-one, Teddy boy. Build up her resistance."</p>
-
-<p>Hamburger, Ann had called it, but it was like ambrosia. The talk flowed
-around Ted; food, fashion, furniture, flowers.</p>
-
-<p>Henri was witty and articulate. Ann appreciative and responsive. Ted
-present.</p>
-
-<p>All the things he'd read, and nothing to say. Mann he'd read, and
-Joyce. Shakespeare and Spinoza, Emerson, Shelley and....</p>
-
-<p>And there was a lull momentarily in the conversation.</p>
-
-<p>Ted said quickly, "I batted .314 at Houston. That's in the Texas
-League."</p>
-
-<p>Ann stared at him, smiling. Henri stared at him, smirking. They went
-back to their discussion.</p>
-
-<p>What weapons did he have? He sat there while the talk poured over him,
-turning into a wrathful midget, hating them both.</p>
-
-<p>At two, he rose, from the table, "I ... have a golf date. Hate to leave
-you two alone."</p>
-
-<p>"We'll try to get along, old boy," Henri said smilingly. "Keep your eye
-on the ball."</p>
-
-<p>Ann said, "Easy at the nineteenth hole, honey." She lifted her lips for
-his kiss.</p>
-
-<p>They were soft and cool.</p>
-
-<p>He didn't have a golf date. He didn't want to leave them. But he
-couldn't sit there, growing smaller and duller by the minute. He was an
-artist and an athlete, not a worm.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He drove to the country club, and sat at the bar. Pete Orcutt and
-Johnny Devlin came in about three-thirty, and they settled down in the
-card room to some canasta.</p>
-
-<p>Pete said, "Henri's in town. Done the Blair's place for them."</p>
-
-<p>"I know," Johnny said. "Thank heavens my mate's at the lake. How about
-yours, Pete?"</p>
-
-<p>"In Denver, visiting her mother."</p>
-
-<p>Ted said evenly, "Henri's sitting at my house, boring my wife to death,
-right now. I don't worry about Henri."</p>
-
-<p>Pete coughed. Johnny studied his hand intently. Neither of them said a
-word.</p>
-
-<p>The game went on. Ted had too many wild cards, or not enough. Nothing
-worked. He fed Johnny and got garbage from Pete. He drank and simmered
-and watched their scores pile up.</p>
-
-<p>At five-thirty, he rose and said, "I don't mind losing to you guys, but
-you can't expect me to support you." He wrote out two checks.</p>
-
-<p>"Bad loser," Pete said, winking at Johnny.</p>
-
-<p>Johnny said, "We'll have to get some golf in, Ted. Give me a ring, any
-time. I'm a free man, for two weeks."</p>
-
-<p>Ted nodded, and left.</p>
-
-<p>It was six when he got home. There was another note:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p><i>Irma needed a fourth in a hurry and she sounded so desperate, and I
-knew you wouldn't mind. I might be late.</i></p>
-
-<p class="ph1"><i>XXX<br />
-A</i></p></div>
-
-<p>He looked at the x's doubtfully. It wasn't like Ann to add symbolic
-kisses. He had enough whiskey in him so that it didn't seem improper to
-phone.</p>
-
-<p>Irma answered.</p>
-
-<p>"Hello, Irma. Is Ann there?"</p>
-
-<p>"She is. Checking, Ted?"</p>
-
-<p>"Of course not," he said stiffly. "May I speak with her, please?"</p>
-
-<p>Ann's voice. "Nothing wrong, I hope?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, is Henri with you?"</p>
-
-<p>"No. Why&mdash;?"</p>
-
-<p>"Something kind of important's come up, and it's down his alley. Do you
-know where he is? What time did he leave here?"</p>
-
-<p>"He left at two-thirty. Said he had to see the Blairs. Maybe you can
-get him there."</p>
-
-<p>"Thanks, I'll try. Honey&mdash;I&mdash;ah, have a good game." He hung up.</p>
-
-<p>Two-thirty. Well, that was all right. Half an hour after Ted had left.
-Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour.... He poured a drink.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Half an hour, half an hour, half an hour.... He went out onto the
-porch. The blonde was on her patio, all dressed up in filmy green.
-Another blonde sat in the chair near her, male, with sport jacket and
-tanned face, with a drink in his hand.</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton's work?</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton came scrambling down the nutmeg tree. "Still hot?"</p>
-
-<p>"Go away."</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton looked down at the patio and back at Ted. "Her cousin from
-Milwaukee. Henri's making the trip, tonight."</p>
-
-<p>"For the blonde?"</p>
-
-<p>"Don't be naive."</p>
-
-<p>"If you're inferring that my wife, my Ann is going&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I only said Henri's making the trip. Maybe, just in hope. But how in
-hell will you ever know? Unless you're there, yourself?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not going anywhere," Ted said. "You can look for another stooge,
-Lucifer. I love my wife...."</p>
-
-<p>For seconds, Hamilton stared at Ted with those beady, black eyes. Then,
-"You're serious, aren't you. You're leveling?"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm serious."</p>
-
-<p>Hamilton looked at the nutmeg tree. "Oh, Truesdale, if you knew the
-story. If you knew what this meant." He started up the tree, and
-paused. "Well, there are others, plenty of them." He went quickly up
-the rest of the way.</p>
-
-<p>Ted didn't even glance at the blonde, again, before going back into
-the house. He put some Cole Porter on the record player and sat by the
-fireplace.</p>
-
-<p>Honolulu and Houston and <i>Sweeney's</i> and the country club merged in
-his mind as the whiskey drowsiness started to creep through him. He
-couldn't go to sleep, not before Ann came home. He had some things to
-tell her.</p>
-
-<p>Before <i>she</i> went to sleep.</p>
-
-<p>Ann, Ann, thirty minutes, Ann, oh beloved darling....</p>
-
-<p>The last record finished and shut off the machine. Ted dreamed of
-homering in the ninth, against Louisville, with the bases loaded.</p>
-
-<p>He woke to a black room. Had Ann come in, not seen him in the living
-room, and gone to bed? Ann, no. Ann, be awake. Ann, you wouldn't like
-Venus&mdash;without me. I hope. Ann....</p>
-
-<p>He stumbled out into the hall, and looked up the steps. No lights
-there, either. He ran up the stairs, whimpering, and through the
-dressing room into her room. He snapped on the big overhead light.</p>
-
-<p>She was asleep. Asleep&mdash;and smiling.</p>
-
-<p>He was shaking her. He was sobbing, burying his wet face in her
-shoulder, trembling and incoherent.</p>
-
-<p>"Ted, baby, what is the matter? What's happened, darling?"</p>
-
-<p>He told her. Incoherently, but swiftly, holding her tightly all the
-while. From the first of Hamilton's words to the last. And finished
-with, "I've wanted you so badly, and you seemed so distant. I know
-there's no excusing me, but I want you to understand, to know how much
-I&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He was silent, spent, weak as water.</p>
-
-<p>She stroked his hair. She said, "Wanting me isn't enough, wasn't
-enough. Can't you see that, dearest? A woman must be needed, not
-wanted. Darling, everything's going to be all right, now."</p>
-
-<p>"Ann, I haven't the right to ask. But&mdash;did I bring you back from&mdash;I
-mean, were you on Venus?"</p>
-
-<p>She put a soft hand on his lips. "Sweetheart, what a horrible question.
-I'm your Ann, remember? I'm your darling. And nobody else is going to
-come between us. This will be our room, tonight, and all the nights."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>The now embodied assembly met above the stream they could hear, in the
-glade they could see.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Ha said, "I've a request from Earthians, that Truesdale pair."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Request?" Peak said.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"They'd like to spend the weekend, here, all their weekends. He works
-the rest of the week, but&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Earthians, here?" Peak interrupted. "I'll be darned if&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Ha said, "Remember, if it wasn't for them, we'd still be disembodied.
-I think this is a voting matter, Peak."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Them? Him, you mean."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Oh, no," Ha corrected. "She was here, too, that final night. Twice,
-as a matter of fact. The last time with her husband. I say they're fine
-people, and I'd be proud to welcome them."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>And it was so voted.</i></p>
-
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