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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/6704-8.txt b/6704-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..16b8775 --- /dev/null +++ b/6704-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2737 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Domestic Problem, by Abby Morton Diaz + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + +Title: A Domestic Problem + +Author: Abby Morton Diaz + +Posting Date: October 13, 2014 [EBook #6704] +Release Date: October, 2004 +First Posted: January 17, 2003 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + + + + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. This file was produced from +images generously made available by the CWRU Preservation +Department Digital Library. + + + + + + + + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + + + +_Work and Culture in the Household_ + + +by + +MRS. A. M. DIAZ + +AUTHOR OF "THE SCHOOLMASTER'S TRUNK," ETC. + +1895 + + + +CONTENTS. + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION." + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE. + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + +_WORK AND CULTURE IN THE HOUSEHOLD_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +Our problem is this: How may woman enjoy the delights of culture, and +at the same time fulfil her duties to family and household? Perhaps it +is not assuming too much to say, that, in making known the existence +of such a problem, we have already taken the first step toward its +solution, just as a ship's crew in distress take the first step toward +relief by making a signal which calls attention to their needs. + +The next step--after having, as we may say, set our flag at +half-mast--is one which, if all we hear be true, should come easily to +women in council, namely, talking. And talking we must have, even if, +as in the social game called "Throwing Light," much of it is done at a +venture. In that interesting little game, after a few hints have been +given concerning "the word," different members of the company begin at +once to talk about it, and think about it, and suggest and hazard +descriptive remarks, according to the idea each has formed of it; that +is, they try, though in the dark, to "throw light." As the interest +increases, the excitement becomes intense. Many of the ideas expressed +are absurdly wide of the mark, yet even these help to show what the +answer is not; and often, by their coming in contact, a light is +struck which helps amazingly. And so, in regard to our problem, we +have the hints; then why not begin at once to think about it, and talk +about it, and suggest, and guess, and throw light with all our might? +No matter if we even get excited, say absurd things, say utterly +preposterous things, make blunders. Blunders are to be expected. Let +them fly right and left; by hitting together right smartly they may +strike out sparks which shall help us find our way. + +We all have heard of the frank country girl who said to her bashful +lover, "Do say something, if it isn't quite so bright!" This, +doubtless, is what every thoughtful woman, if she expressed the +sincere desire of her heart regarding our perplexing question, would +say to all other women; and it is to comply with that wish, partly +expressed to me, that I have gathered up from chance observation, +chance reading, and hearsay, some ideas bearing on the subject. +Suppose we begin by looking about us, and making clear to our minds +just what this state of things is, which, because it hinders culture, +many deem so unsatisfactory. After that, we will consider its causes, +reasons for changing it, and the way or ways out of it. + +A few, a very few, of our women are able to live and move and have +their being literally regardless of expense. These can buy of skilled +assistants and competent supervisors, whole lifetimes of leisure; with +these, therefore, our problem has no concern. The larger class, the +immense majority, either do their work themselves, or attend +personally to its being done by others; "others" signifying that +inefficient, untrustworthy, unstable horde who come fresh from their +training in peat-bog and meadow, to cook our dinners, take care of our +china dishes, and adjust the nice little internal arrangements of our +dwellings. + +Observing closely the lives of the immense majority, I think we shall +see, that, in conducting their household affairs, the object they have +in view is one and the same. I think we shall see that they all +strive, some by their own labors wholly, the rest by covering over and +piecing out the shortcomings of "help," to present a smooth, agreeable +surface to husbands and company. This smooth, agreeable surface may be +compared to a piece of mosaic work composed of many parts. Of the +almost infinite number of those parts, and of the time, skill, and +labor required to adjust them, it hath not entered, it cannot enter, +into the heart of man to conceive. + +I wonder how long it would take to name, just merely to name, all the +duties which fall upon the woman who, to use a common phrase, and a +true one, carries on the family. Suppose we try to count them, one by +one. Doing this will help to give us that clear view of the present +state of things which it is our present object to obtain; though the +idea reminds me of what the children used to say when I was a child, +"If you count the stars you'll drop down dead,"--a saying founded, +probably, on the vastness of the undertaking compared with human +endurance. It certainly cannot be called trivial to enumerate the +duties to which woman consecrates so large a portion of her life, +especially when we remember that into each and all of these duties she +has to carry her mind. Where woman's mind must go, woman's mind or +man's mind, should not scorn to follow. So let us make the attempt; +and we need not stand upon the order of our counting, but begin +anywhere. + +Setting tables; clearing them off; keeping lamps or gas-fixtures in +order; polishing stoves, knives, silverware, tinware, faucets, knobs, +&c.; washing and wiping dishes; taking care of food left at meals; +sweeping, including the grand Friday sweep, the limited daily sweep, +and the oft-recurring dustpan sweep; cleaning paint; washing +looking-glasses, windows, window-curtains; canning and preserving +fruit; making sauces and jellies, and "catchups" and pickles; making +and baking bread, cake, pies, puddings; cooking meats and vegetables; +keeping in nice order beds, bedding, and bedchambers; arranging +furniture, dusting, and "picking up;" setting forth, at their due +times and in due order, the three meals; washing the clothes; ironing, +including doing up shirts and other "starched things;" taking care of +the baby, night and day; washing and dressing children, and regulating +their behavior, and making or getting made, their clothing, and seeing +that the same is in good repair, in good taste, spotless from dirt, +and suited both to the weather and the occasion; doing for herself +what her own personal needs require; arranging flowers; entertaining +company; nursing the sick; "letting down" and "letting out" to suit +the growing ones; patching, darning, knitting, crocheting, braiding, +quilting,--but let us remember the warning of the old saying, and +forbear in time. + +This, however, is only a general enumeration. This is counting the +stars by constellations. Examining closely these items: we shall find +them made up each of a number of smaller items, and each of these +again of items still smaller. What seem homogeneous are heterogeneous; +what seem simple are complex. Make a loaf of bread. That has a simple +sound, yet the process is complex. First, hops, potatoes, flour, +sugar, water, salt, in right proportions for the yeast. The yeast for +raising the yeast must be in just the right condition, and added when +the mixture is of just the right temperature. In "mixing up" bread, +the temperature of the atmosphere must be considered, the temperature +of the water, the situation of the dough. The dough must rise quickly, +must rise just enough and no more, must be baked in an oven just hot +enough and no hotter, and must be "tended" while baking. + +Try clearing off tables. Remove food from platters, care for the +remnants, see that nothing is wasted, scrape well every plate, arrange +in piles, carry out, wash in soap and water, rinse in clear water, +polish with dry cloth, set away in their places,--three times a day. + +Taking care of the baby frequently implies carrying the child on one +arm while working with the other, and this often after nights made +sleepless by its "worrying." "I've done many a baking with a child on +my hip," said a farmer's wife in my hearing. + +But try now the humblest of household duties, one that passes for just +nothing at all; try dusting. "Take a cloth, and brush the dust +off,"--stated in this general way, how easy a process it seems! The +particular interpretation, is that you move, wipe, and replace every +article in the room, from the piano down to the tiniest ornament; that +you "take a cloth," and go over every inch of accessible surface, +including panelling, mop-boards, window frames and sashes, +looking-glass-frames, picture-frames and cords, gas or lamp fixtures; +reaching up, tiptoeing, climbing, stooping, kneeling, taking care that +not even in the remotest corner shall appear one inch of undusted +surface which any slippered individual, leaning back in his arm-chair, +can spy out. + +These are only a few examples; but a little observation and an +exceedingly little experience will show the curious inquirer that +there is scarcely one of the apparently simple household operations +which cannot be resolved and re-resolved into minute component parts. +Thus dusting, which seems at first to consist of simply a few brushes +with a cloth or bunch of feathers, when analyzed once, is found to +imply the careful wiping of every article in the room, and of all the +woodwork; analyzed again, it implies following the marks of the +cabinet-maker's tools in every bit of carving and grooving; analyzed +again, introducing a pointed stick under the cloth in turning corners. +In fact, the investigator of household duties must do as does a +distinguished scientist in analyzing matter,--"continue the process of +dividing as long as the parts can be discerned," and then "prolong the +vision backward across the boundary of experimental evidence." And, if +brave enough to attempt to count them, he must bear in mind that what +appear to be blank intervals, or blurred, nebulous spaces, are, in +reality, filled in with innumerable little duties which, through the +glass of observation, may be discerned quite plainly. Let him also +bear in mind, that these household duties must be done over and over, +and over and over, and as well, each time, as if done to last forever; +and, above all, that they every one require mind. + +Many a common saying proves this last point. "Put your mind on your +work." "Your mind must be where your work is." "She's a good hand to +take hold, but she hasn't any calculation." "She doesn't know how to +forecast her work." "She doesn't know how to forelay." "Nancy's +gittin' past carryin' her mind inter her work. Wal, I remember when I +begun to git past carryin' my mind inter my work," said an old woman +of ninety, speaking of her sixty-years-old daughter. The old couplet, + + "Man works from rise till set of sun, + But woman's work is never done,"-- + +tells the truth. "Woman's work," as now arranged, is so varied, so +all-embracing, that it cannot be "done." For every odd moment some +duty lies in wait. And it is generally the case, that these multi-form +duties press for performance, crowds of them at once. "So many things +to be done right off, that I don't know which to take hold of first." +"'Tis just as much as I can do to keep my head above water." "Oh, +dear! I can't see through!" "My work drives me." "I never know what +'tis not to feel hurried." "The things I can't get done tire me more +than the things I do." Such remarks have a meaning. + +And those who keep "a girl" have almost equal difficulty in always +presenting the smooth, agreeable surface just now spoken of. With the +greater ability to hire help comes usually the desire to live in more +expensive houses, and to furnish the same with more costly furniture. +Every article added is a care added, and the nicer the article the +nicer the care required. More, also, is demanded of these in the way +of appearance, style, and social civilities; and the wear and tear of +superintending "a girl" should by no means be forgotten. At any rate, +the complaint, "no time to read," is frequent among women, and is not +confined to any one class. + +We see, then, that in the present state of things it is impossible for +woman--that is, the family woman, the house-mother--to enjoy the +delights of culture. External activities, especially the two +insatiable, all-devouring ones which know neither end nor +beginning,--housework and sewing-work,--these demand her time, her +energies, in short, demand herself,--the whole of her. Yes, the whole, +and more too; there is not enough of her to go round. There might +possibly be enough, and even something left to spend on culture, were +she in sound physical condition; but, alas! a healthy woman is +scarcely to be found. This point, namely, the prevailing invalidism of +woman, will come up for consideration by and by, when we inquire into +the causes of the present state of things. It is none too early, +however, to make a note of what some physicians say in regard to it. +"Half of all who are born," says one medical writer, "die under twenty +years of age; while four-fifths of all who reach that age, and die +before another score, owe their death to causes which were originated +in their teens. This is a fact of startling import to fathers and +mothers, and shows a fearful responsibility." Another medical writer +says, "Beside the loss of so many children (nearly twenty-five per +cent), society suffers seriously from those who survive, their health +being irremediably injured while they are still infants.... Ignorance +and injudicious nursery management lie at the root of this evil." + +We must be sure not to forget that this prevailing invalidism of +women, which is one hinderance to their obtaining culture, can be +traced directly back to the ignorance of mothers, for this point has +an important bearing on the solution of our problem. + + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +The question, How may work and culture be combined? was recently +submitted, in my hearing, to a highly intelligent lady. She answered +with a sigh, "It can't be done. I've tried it; but, as things are now, +it can't be done." By "as things are now" she meant, with the +established ideas regarding dress, food, appearance, style, and the +objects for which woman should spend her time and herself. Suppose we +investigate the causes of the present state of things, which, as being +a hinderance to culture, is to us so unsatisfactory. A little +reflection will enable us to discover several. Chief among them all, I +think, is one which may require close inspection before it is +recognized to be such. It seems to me that the great underlying +cause--the cause of all the other causes--is the want of insight, the +unenlightemnent, which prevails concerning, not what woman's mission +is, but the ways and means by which she is to accomplish it. Let us +consider this. + +Those who claim the right of defining it never can say often enough +that the true, mission of woman is to train up her children rightly, +and to make home happy; and no doubt we all agree with them. But have +we, or have they, a full sense of what woman requires to fit her even +for the first of these duties? Suppose a philosopher in disguise on a +tour of observation from some distant isle or planet should favor us +with a visit. He finds himself, we will say, on a spot not a hundred +miles from New York or Boston or Chicago. Among the objects which +attract his attention are the little children drawn along in their +little chaises. + +"Are these beautiful creatures of any value?" he asks of a bystander. + +"Certainly. They are the hope of the country. They will grow up into +men and women who will take our places." + +"I suppose there is no danger of their growing up any other than the +right kind of men and women, such as your country needs?" + +"On the contrary, there is every danger. Evil influences surround them +from their birth. These beautiful creatures have in them the +possibilities of becoming mean, base, corrupt, treacherous, deceitful, +cruel, false, revengeful; of becoming, in fact, unworthy and repulsive +in many ways. Why, all our criminals, our drunkards, liars, thieves, +burglars, murderers, were once innocent little children like these!" + +"And whether these will become like those, or not, depends on chance?" + +"Oh, no! It depends largely on training, especially on early training. +Children are like wax to receive impressions, like marble to retain +them." + +"Are they constituted pretty nearly alike, so that the treatment which +is best for one is best for all?" + +"By no means. Even those in the same family are often extremely +unlike. They have different temperaments, dispositions, propensities. +Some require urging, others checking. Some do better with praise, +others without; the same of blame. It requires thought and discernment +to know what words to speak, how many to speak, and when to speak +them. In fact, a child's nature is a piece of delicate, complex +machinery, and each one requires a separate study; for, as its springs +of action are concealed, the operator is liable at any time to touch +the wrong one." + +"And mistakes here will affect a child through its whole lifetime?" + +"They will affect it through all eternity." "But who among you dare +make these early impressions which are to be so enduring? Who are the +operators on these delicate and complex pieces of mental machinery?" + +"Oh! the mothers always have the care of the children. This is their +mission,--the chief duty of their lives." + +"But how judicious, how comprehensive, must be the course of education +which will fit a person for such an office!" + +"Do you think so? Hem! Well, it is not generally considered that a +woman who is going to marry and settle down to family life needs much +education." + +"You mean, doubtless, that she only receives the special instruction +which her vocation requires." + +"Special instruction?" + +"Yes. If woman's special vocation is the training of children, of +course she is educated specially with a view to that vocation." + +"Well, I never heard of such a kind of education. But here is one of +our young mothers: she can tell you all about it." + +We will suppose, now, that our philosopher is left with the young +mother, who names over what she learned at the "institute." + +"And the training of children--moral, intellectual, and physical--was +no doubt made a prominent subject of consideration." + +"Training of children? Oh, no! That would have been a curious kind of +study." + +"Where, then, were you prepared for the duties of your mission?" + +"What mission do you mean?" + +"Your mission of child-training." + +"I had no preparation." + +"No preparation? But are you acquainted with the different +temperaments a child may have, and the different combinations of them? +Are you competent to the direction and culture of the intellectual and +moral nature? Have you skill to touch the hidden springs of action? +Have you, thus uninstructed, the power, the knowledge, the wisdom, +requisite for guiding that mighty force, a child's soul?" + +"Alas! there is hardly a day that I do not feel my ignorance on all +these points." + +"Are there no sources from which knowledge may be obtained? There must +be books written on these subjects." + +"Possibly; but I have no time to read them." + +"No time?--no time to prepare for your chief mission?" + +"It is our mission only in print. In real life it plays an extremely +subordinate part." + +"What, then, in real life, is your mission?" + +"Chiefly cooking and sewing." + +"Your husband, then, does not share the common belief in regard to +woman's chief duty." + +"Oh, yes! I have heard him express it many a time; though I don't +think he comprehends what a woman needs in order to do her duty by her +children. But he loves them dearly. If one should die he would be +heart-broken." + +"Is it a common thing here for children to die?" + +"I am grieved to say that nearly one-fourth die in infancy." + +"And those who live,--do they grow up in full health and vigor?" + +"Oh, indeed they do not! Why, look at our crowded hospitals! Look at +the apothecaries' shops at almost, every corner. Look at the +advertisements of medicines. Don't you think there's meaning in these, +and a meaning in the long rows of five-story swell-front houses +occupied by physicians, and a meaning in the people themselves? +There's scarcely one of them but has some ailment." + +"But is this matter of health subject to no laws?" + +"The phrase, 'laws of health,' is a familiar one, but I don't know +what those laws are." "Mothers, then, are not in the habit of teaching +them to their children?" + +"They are not themselves acquainted with them." + +"Perhaps this astonishing ignorance has something to do with the +fearful mortality among infants. Do not husbands provide their wives +with books and other means of information on this subject?" + +"Generally speaking, they do nothing of the kind." + +"And does not the subject of hygienic laws, as applied to the rearing +of children, come into the courses of study laid out for young women!" + +"No, indeed. Oh, how I wish it had!--and those other matters you +mentioned. I would give up every thing else I ever learned for the +sake of knowing how to bring up my children, and how to keep them in +health." + +"The presidents and professors of your educational institutions,--do +they share the common belief as to woman's mission?" + +"Oh, yes! They all say that the chief business of woman is to train up +her children." + +(_Philosopher's solo_.) + +"There seems to be blindness and stupidity somewhere among these +people. From what they say of the difficulty of bringing up their +children, it must take an archangel to do it rightly; still they do +not think a woman who is married and settles down to family life needs +much education! Moreover, in educating young women, that which is +universally acknowledged to be the chief business of their lives +receives not the least attention." + +If our philosopher continued his inquiries into the manners and +customs of our country, he must have felt greatly encouraged; for he +would have found that it is only in this one direction that we show +such blindness and stupidity. He would have found that in every other +occupation we demand preparation. The individual who builds our ships, +cuts our coats, manufactures our watches, superintends our machinery, +takes charge of our cattle, our trees, our flowers, must know how, +must have been especially prepared for his calling. It is only +character-moulding, only shaping the destinies of immortal beings, for +which we demand neither preparation nor a knowledge of the business. +It is only of our children that we are resigned to lose nearly +one-fourth by death, "owing to ignorance and injudicious nursery +management." Were this rate of mortality declared to exist among our +domestic animals, the community would be aroused at once. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +Perhaps some day the community may come to perceive that woman +requires for her vocation what the teacher, the preacher, the lawyer, +and the physician, require for theirs; namely, special preparation and +general culture. The first, because every vocation demands special +preparation; and the second, because, to satisfy the requirements of +young minds, she will need to draw from almost every kind of +knowledge. And we must remember here, that the advantages derived from +culture are not wholly an intellectual gain. We get from hooks and +other sources of culture not merely what informs the mind, but that +which warms the heart, quickens the sympathies, strengthens the +understanding; get clearness and breadth of vision, get refining and +ennobling influences, get wisdom in its truest and most comprehensive +sense; and all of these, the last more than all, a mother needs for +her high calling. That it is a high calling, we have high authority to +show. Dr. Channing says, "No office can compare in importance with +that of training a child." Yet the office is assumed without +preparation. + +Herbert Spencer asks, in view of this omission, "What is to be +expected when one of the most intricate of problems is undertaken by +those who have given scarcely a thought as to the principles on which +its solution depends? Is the unfolding of a human being so simple a +process that any one may superintend and regulate it with no +preparation whatever?... Is it not madness to make no provision for +such a task?" + +Horace Mann speaks out plainly, and straight to the point. "If she is +to prepare a refection of cakes, she fails not to examine some +cookery-book or some manuscript receipt, lest she should convert her +rich ingredients into unpalatable compounds; but without ever having +read one book upon the subject of education, without ever having +sought one conversation with an intelligent person upon it, she +undertakes so to mingle the earthly and celestial elements of +instruction for that child's soul that he shall be fitted to discharge +all duties below, and to enjoy all blessings above." And again, +"Influences imperceptible in childhood, work out more and more broadly +into beauty or deformity in after life. No unskilful hand should ever +play upon a harp where the tones are left forever in the strings." + +In a newspaper I find this amusingly significant sentence: +"Truthfully, indeed, do the Papists boast that the Episcopal Church is +training-ground for Rome. The female mind is frequently enticed by +display of vestments and music; and, if the Ritualists can pervert the +mothers, they know that the next generation is theirs." This is +significant, because it signifies that, however weak and easy of +enticement the "female mind" may be, it has a mighty power to +influence the young. + +But we can show not only opinions and prophecies, but the results of +actual scientific experiments. A recent number of "The Popular Science +Monthly" contains an account of experiments made in Jamaica upon the +mental capacity for learning of the different races there existing. +The experimenter found, he says, "unequal speed," but saw "nothing +which can be unmistakably referred to difference of race. The rate of +improvement is due almost entirely to the relative elevation of the +home circle in which the children live. Those who are restricted to +the narrowest gauge of intellectual exercise live in such a material +and coarse medium that their mental faculties remain slumbering; while +those who hear at home of many things, and are brought up to +intellectual employments, show a corresponding proficiency in +learning." + +This, and the editor's comments, bear directly on our side, that is to +say, the culture side. The editor says it is inevitable "that the +medium in which the child is habitually immersed, and by which it is +continually and unconsciously impressed, should have much greater +value in the formation of mental character than the mere lesson +experiences of school. Home education is, after all, the great fact; +and it is domestic influences by which the characters of children are +formed. Where men are exhausted by business, and women are exhausted +by society (or other means), we may be pretty sure that but little can +be done to shape and conduct the home with a reference to the higher +mental needs of the children who live in it." + +Now, who, more than any one, "shapes and conducts the home"? Who +creates these "domestic influences," this "medium in which the child +is habitually immersed"? Woman. In the name of common sense, then, +throw open to woman every avenue of knowledge. Surround her with all +that will elevate and refine. Give her the highest, broadest, truest +culture. Give her chances to draw inspiration from the beautiful in +nature and in art. And, above all, insure her some respite from labor, +and some tranquillity. Unless these conditions are observed, "but +little can be done to shape and conduct the home with reference to the +higher mental needs of the children who live in it." + +I once heard "Grace Greenwood" tell a little story which ought to come +in here, for our own object is to make out as strong a case as we +possibly can. We want to prove that mothers must have culture because +they are mothers. We want to show it to be absolutely necessary for +woman, in the accomplishment of her acknowledged mission. When this +fact is recognized, then culture will take rank with essentials, and +receive attention as such. + +"Grace Greenwood" said that a friend of hers, a teacher "out West," +had in her school four or five children from one family. The parents +were poor, ignorant, and of the kind commonly called low, coarse sort +of people. The children, with one exception, were stupid, +rough-mannered, and depraved. The one exception, a little girl, showed +such refinement, appreciation, and quickness of apprehension, that the +teacher at last asked the mother if she could account for the striking +difference between this child and its brothers and sisters. The mother +could not. The children had been brought up together there in that +lonely place, had been treated alike, and had never been separated. +She knew the little girl was very different from her brothers and +sisters, but knew not the reason why. The teacher then asked, "Was +there any thing in your mode of life for the months preceding her +birth, that there was not in the corresponding time before the births +of the others?" The mother at first answered decidedly that there was +nothing; but after thinking a few moments said, "Well, there was one, +a very small thing, but that couldn't have had any thing to do with +the matter. One day a peddler came along; and among his books was a +pretty, red-covered poetry book, and I wanted it bad. But my husband +said he couldn't afford it, and the peddler went off. I couldn't get +that book out of my mind; and in the night I took some of my own +money, and travelled on foot to the next town, found the peddler, +bought the book, and got back before morning, and was never missed +from the house. That book was the greatest comfort to me that ever +was. I read it over and over, up to the day my child was born." + +Also would come in well here that oft-told story of a pauper named +"Margaret," who was once "set adrift in a village of the county ... +and left to grow up as best she could, and from whom have descended +two hundred criminals. The whole number of this girl's descendants, +through six generations, is nine hundred; and besides the 'two +hundred' a large number have been idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, +lunatics, and paupers." + +Friends, to say nothing of higher motives, would it not be good policy +to educate wisely every girl in the country? Are not mothers, as +child-trainers, in absolute need of true culture? In cases where +families depend on the labor of their girls, perhaps the State would +make a saving even by compensating these families for the loss of such +labor. Perhaps it would be cheaper, even in a pecuniary sense, for the +State to do this, than to support reformatory establishments, prisons, +almshouses, and insane-asylums, with their necessary retinues of +officials. Institutions in which these girls were educated might be +made self-supporting, and the course of instruction might include +different kinds of handicraft. + +It was poor economy for the State to let that pauper "grow up as best +she could." It would probably have been money in the State's pocket +had it surrounded "Margaret" in her early childhood with the choicest +productions of art, engaged competent teachers to instruct her in the +solid branches, in the accomplishments, in hygiene, in the principles +and practice of integrity, and then have given her particular +instruction in all matters connected with the training of children. +And had she developed a remarkable taste for painting, for modelling, +or for music, the State could better have afforded even sending her to +Italy, than to have taken care of those "two hundred criminals," +besides "a large number" of "idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, lunatics, +and paupers." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION."--RUFFLES VERSUS READING.--THE +CULTIVATION OF THE FINGERS. + + +Let us leave for a while this matter of child-training, and consider +the other part of woman's mission,--namely, "making home happy." It +would seem that even for this the wife should be at least the equal of +her husband in culture, in order that the two may be in sympathy. When +a loving couple marry, they unite their interests, and it is in this +union of interests that they find happiness. We often hear from a wife +or a husband remarks like these: "I only half enjoyed it, because he +(or she) wasn't there;" "It will be no pleasure to me unless he (or +she) is there too;" "The company were charming, but still I felt +lonesome there without him (or her)." The phrase "half enjoy" gives +the idea; for a sympathetic couple are to such a degree one that a +pleasure which comes to either singly can only be half enjoyed, and +even this half-joy is lessened by the consciousness of what the other +is losing. In a rather sarcastic article, taken from an English +magazine, occur a few sentences which illustrate this point very well. +The writer is describing a honeymoon:-- + +"The real difficulty is to be entertaining. The one thirst of the +young bride is for amusement, and she has no idea of amusing herself. +It is diverting to see the spouse of this ideal creature wend his way +to the lending library, after a week of idealism, and the relief with +which he carries home a novel. How often, in expectation, has he +framed to himself imaginary talks,--talk brighter and wittier than +that of the friends he forsakes! But conversation is difficult in the +case of a refined creature who is as ignorant as a Hottentot. He +begins with the new Miltonic poem, and finds she has never looked into +'Paradise Lost.' He plunges into the Reform Bill; but she knows +nothing of politics, and has never read a leading article in her life. +Then she tries him, in her turn, and floods him with the dead chat of +the town and an ocean of family tattle. He finds himself shut up for +weeks with a creature who takes an interest in nothing but Uncle +Crosspatch's temper and the scandal about Lady X. Little by little the +absolute pettiness, the dense dulness, of woman's life, breaks on the +disenchanted devotee. His deity is without occupation, without +thought, without resources. He has a faint faith in her finer +sensibility, in her poetic nature: he fetches his Tennyson from his +carpet-bag, and wastes 'In Memoriam' on a critic who pronounces it +pretty!" + +In cases of this kind, the half-joy is strikingly apparent. We see +that a husband possessing culture is likely to be lonesome among his +poets and his poetry, his works of reform, and his lofty ideas, +unless--she is there too. + +If it be said that learned women are prone to think lightly of home +comforts and home duties, to despise physical labor, to look down on +the ignorant, let us hasten to reply that learning is not culture, and +that we want not learned mothers, but enlightened mothers, wisely +educated mothers. And let us steadfastly and perseveringly assert that +enlightenment and a wise education are essential to the accomplishment +of the mother's mission. When the housefather feels the truth of this, +then shall we see him bringing home every publication he can lay his +hands on which treats intelligently of mental, moral, or physical +training. Then shall we hear him saying to the house-mother, "Cease, I +pray you, this ever-lasting toil. Read, study, rest. With your solemn +responsibilities, it is madness thus to spend yourself, thus to waste +yourself." In his home shall the true essentials assume that position +which is theirs by right, and certain occupations connected with that +clamorous square inch of surface in the upper part of the mouth shall +receive only their due share of attention. For in one way or another, +either by lessening the work or by hiring workers, the mother shall +have her leisure. + +And what will women, what will the house-mothers, do when they feel +this truth? Certainly not as they now do. Now it is their custom to +fill in every chink and crevice of leisure time with sewing. "Look," +said a young mother to me: "I made all these myself, when holding the +baby, or by sitting up nights." They were children's clothes, +beautifully made, and literally covered with ruffles and embroidery. +Oh the thousands of stitches! The ruffles ran up and down, and over +and across, and three times round. Being white, the garments were of +course changed daily. In the intervals of baby-tending, the mother +snatched a few minutes here and a few minutes there to starch, iron, +flute, or crimp a ruffle, or to finish off a dress of her own. This +"finishing off" was carried on for weeks. When her baby was asleep, or +was good, or had its little ruffles all fluted, and its little +sister's little ruffles were all fluted, then would she seize the +opportunity to stitch, to plait, to flounce, to pucker, and to braid. +Wherever a hand's breadth of the original material was left visible, +some bow, or band, or queer device, was fashioned and sewed on. This +zealous individual, by improving every moment, by sitting up nights, +by working with the baby across her lap, accomplished her task. The +dress was finished, and worn with unutterable complacency. It is this +last part which is the worst part. They have no misgivings, these +mothers. They expect your warm approval. "I can't get a minute's time +to read," said this industrious person; and, on another occasion, +"I'll own up, I don't know any thing about taking care of children." +Swift, speaking of women, said that they "employ more thought, memory, +and application to become fools than would serve to make them wise and +useful;" and perhaps he spoke truly. For suppose this young mother had +been as eager to gain ideas as she was to accomplish a bias band, a +French fold, or a flounce. Suppose that, in the intervals of +baby-tending, instead of fluting her little girls' ruffles and +embroidering their garments, she had tried to snatch some information +which would help her in the bringing up of those little girls. The +truth is, mothers take their leisure time for what seems to them to be +first in importance. It is easy to see what they consider essentials, +and what, from them, children are learning to consider essentials. The +"knowingness" of some of our children on subjects connected with dress +is simply appalling. A girl of eight or ten summers will take you in +at a glance, from topmost plume to boot-tap, by items and +collectively, analytically and synthetically. She discourses, in +technical terms, of the fall of your drapery,--the propriety of your +trimmings, and the effect of this, that, or the other. She has a +proper appreciation of what is French in your attire, and a proper +scorn of what is not. She recognizes "real lace" in a twinkle of her +eye, and "all wool" with a touch of her finger-tips. Plainly clad +school-children are often made to suffer keenly by the cutting remarks +of other school-children sumptuously arrayed. A little girl aged six, +returning from a child's party, exclaimed, "O mamma! What do you +think? Bessie had her dress trimmed with lace, and it wasn't real!" + +The law, "No child shall walk the street in a plain dress," is just as +practically a law as if it had been enacted by the legal authorities. +Mothers obey its high behests, and dare not rebel against it. Look at +our little girls going to school, each with her tucks and ruffles. Who +"gets time" to do all that sewing? where do they get it, and at what +sacrifices? A goodly number of stitches and moments go to the making +and putting on of even one ruffle on one skirt. Think of all the +stitches and moments necessary for the making and putting of all the +ruffles on all the skirts of the several little girls often belonging +to one family! What a prospect before her has a mother of little +girls! And there is no escape, not even in common sense. A woman +considered sensible in the very highest degree will dress her little +girl like other little girls, or perish in the attempt. How many do +thus perish, or are helped to perish, we shall never know. A frail, +delicate woman said to me one day, "Oh, I do hope the fashions will +change before Sissy grows up, for I don't see how it will be possible +for me to make her clothes." You observe her submissive, law-abiding +spirit. The possibility of evading the law never even suggests itself. +There is many a feeble mother of grown and growing "Sissys" to whom +the spring or fall dressmaking appears like an avalanche coming to +overwhelm her, or a Juggernaut coming to roll over her. She asks not, +"How shall I escape?" but, "How shall I endure?" Let her console +herself. These semi-annual experiences are all "mission." All sewing is +"mission;" all cooking is "mission." It matters not what she cooks, +nor what she sews. "Domestic," and worthy all praise, does the +community consider that woman who keeps her hands employed, and is +bodily present with her children inside the house. + +But her bodily presence, even with mother love and longing to do her +best, is not enough. There should be added two things,--knowledge and +wisdom. These, however, she does not have, because to obtain them are +needed what she does not get,--leisure, tranquillity, and the various +resources and appliances of culture; also because their importance is +not felt even by herself; also because the community does not yet see +that she has need of them. And this brings us round to the point we +started from,--namely, that the present unsatisfactory state of things +is owing largely to the want of insight, or _unenlightenment_, +which prevails concerning what woman needs and must have in order +rightly to fulfil her mission. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED.--MASCULINE IDEA OF WOMAN'S WORK. + + +Another supporting cause, as we may call it, of the existing state of +things is the ignorance of mankind concerning the cost of carrying on +the family,--not the cost to themselves in money, but the cost to +woman in endurance. Of its power to exhaust her vital forces they have +not the remotest idea. Each of its little ten-minute duties seems so +trifling that to call it work appears absurd. They do not reflect that +often a dozen of these ten-minute duties must be crowded into an hour +which holds but just six ten-minutes; that her day is crowded with +these crowded hours; that consequently she can never be free from +hurry, and that constant hurry is a constant strain upon her in every +way. They themselves, they think, could do up the work in half the +time, and not feel it a bit. Scarcely a man of them but thinks the +dishes might be just rinsed off under the faucet, and stood up to dry. +Scarcely a man of them who, if this were tried, would not cast more +than inquiring glances at his trencher; for it is always what is not +done that a man sees. If one chair-round escapes dusting, it is that +chair-round which he particularly notices. In his mind then are two +ideas: one is of the whole long day, the other of that infinitesimal +undone duty. The remark visible on his countenance is this: "The whole +day, and no time to dust a chair-round!" + + "The painful warrior famoused for fight, + After a thousand victories, once foiled, + Is from the book of honor razed quite, + And all the rest forgot for which _she_ toiled." + +Many a toiling housewife, warring against untidiness, has felt the +truth of these lines, though she may not have known that the great +poet embodied it in words. + +One mistake of man's is, that he does not look upon the tidy state of +a room as a result, but as one into which, if left to itself, it would +naturally fall and remain. We know, alas! too well, that every room +not only has within itself possibilities of untidiness, but that its +constant tendency is in that direction, which tendency can only be +checked by as constant a vigilance. Again, husbands do not always seem +to understand plain English. There are certain expressions in common +use among women, which, if husbands did understand plain English, +would make them sadder and wiser men. "I'm completely used up;" "I +never know what 'tis to feel rested;" "I'm too tired to sleep;" "I'm +as tired in the morning as when I go to bed;" "Every nerve in me +throbs so that I can't go to sleep;" "The life has all gone out of +me;" "I am crazed with cares;" "The care is worse than the work;" +"Nothing keeps that woman about the house but her ambition;" "It is +the excitement of work that keeps her up." Now, how is it that a woman +works on after she is completely used up? What is the substance, the +capacity of this "ambition" on which alone she lives? A friend of +mine, in answer to a suggestion that she should stop and take a few +days' rest, said, "I don't dare to stop. If I let down, if I give way +for ever so little while, I never could go on again." Think of living +always in this state of tension! The dictionary definition of +"tension" is "a peculiar, abnormal, constrained condition of the +parts, arising from the action of antagonistic forces, in which they +endeavor to return to their natural state." Exactly. There are +thousands of women in just this condition, sustained there by the +daily pressure and excitement of hurry, and by a stern, unyielding +"must." In the treadmill of their household labor, breakfast, dinner, +and supper revolve in ceaseless course, and they _must_ step +forward to meet them. And, when more of her vitality is expended daily +than is daily renewed by food and rest, woman does, actually and +without any figure of speech, use herself up. Yes, she burns herself +for fuel, and goes down a wreck,--not always to death; often it is to +a condition made wretched by suffering, sometimes to insanity. + +I would not have believed this last had I not found it in print. In an +English magazine occurs the following passage: "Some whose eyes follow +these lines will recollect disagreeable seasons when their attention +was distracted by conflicting cures and claims; when no one thing, +however urgent, could be finished, owing to the intrusion of one or +more inevitable distractions. A continued course of such inroads on +the mind's serenity could be supported but by few intellects. Most +pitiable is the mind's state after some hours of such distracting +occupation, in which every business interferes with every other, and +none is satisfactorily accomplished. Where there is a tendency to +insanity it is sure to be developed by such an undesirable state of +things." This is fitly supplemented by a statement made in an American +magazine: "We are told that the woman's wards in the New England +insane asylums are filled with middle-aged wives--mothers--driven +there by overwork and anxiety." + +Not long since, I heard Mr. Whittier tell the story of a woman who +attempted suicide by throwing herself into the water. "Discouragement" +was the reason she assigned for committing so dreadful a +deed,--discouragement at the never-ending routine of household labor, +and from feeling herself utterly unable to go on with it. This, with +care, want of recreation, and long confinement in-doors, had probably +caused temporary insanity. + +The "never-endingness" of woman's work is something to be considered. +A wide-awake writer, speaking of husbands and wives, says, "The +out-door air, the stir, the change of ideas, the passing word for this +man or that, unconsciously refresh, and lift him from the cankering +care of work.... His work may be heavier, but it wears him on one side +only. He has his hours sacred to business to give to his brief, his +sermon, his shop. There is no drain on the rest of his faculties. She +has not a power of mind, a skill of body, which her daily life does +not draw upon. She asks nothing better of fate than that whatever +strength she has of body and mind shall be drained for her husband and +children. Now, this spirit of martyrdom is a very good thing when it +is necessary. For our part, we see no occasion for it here." This is +the point exactly. The "martyrdom," too often, is for objects not of +the highest importance. The lack of appreciation of woman's work, as +shown by man-kind in the newspapers, would be amusing, were it not +saddening. Articles, dictating with solemn pomposity "what every +married woman should be able to do," often appear in print, and these +embodiments of (masculine) wisdom editors are eager to copy. "Every +married woman should be able to cut and make her own, her husband's, +and her children's clothes." The husband reads,--aloud of course, this +time,--and nods approval. "To be sure, that would make a saving." The +wife hears, and sighs, and perhaps blames herself that on account of +her incapacity money is wasted. What the newspaper says must be true. +Perhaps by sitting up later, by getting up earlier, by hurrying more, +and by never setting her foot outside the door, she might follow this +suggestion. "Every married woman" whose boys take to reading should +snip such newspaper articles into shreds, burn them up, and bury the +ashes. + +Another cause of the present state of things is the lowness of the +standard which has been set up for woman to attain. We have glanced at +some of the things which are expected of the woman who carries on the +family. What is not expected is a point of no less significance. +Neither husbands nor company claim the right to expect, in that +smooth, agreeable surface mentioned at the beginning, the results of +mental culture. They may be gratified at finding them; but so long as +the woman is amiable, thrifty, efficient, and provides three good +meals every day, they feel bound not to complain. Here are the ten +"Attributes of a Wife," as grouped by one of the world's famous +writers: note what he allots to education: "Four to good temper, two +to good sense, one to wit, one to beauty; the remaining two to be +divided among other qualities, as fortune, connection, education or +accomplishments, family, and so on. Divide these two parts as you +please, these minor proportions must all be expressed by fractions. +Not one among them is entitled to the dignity of an integer." + +The prevalent belief that woman is in some degree subordinate to man, +is rather taken for granted than expressly taught, as witness a +certain kind of legend often told to young girls: "Once upon a time a +young man, visiting a strange house, saw a damsel putting dough into +pans, and saw that the dough which stuck to the platter was left +sticking there; whereupon the young man said, 'This is not the wife +for me.'" In another house he sees a damsel who leaves not the dough +which sticks to the platter; and he says, "This is the wife for me." +Another young man offers to successive maidens a skein of tangled silk +to wind. The first says, "I can't;" the second tries, and gives up; +the third makes a quick job of it with her scissors; the fourth spends +hours in patiently, untangling, and is chosen. Now, what shows the +state of public sentiment is the fact that in none of these legends is +it intimated that the young man was fortunate in securing a thrifty or +a patient wife. It was the thrifty or patient young woman who was +fortunate in being selected by a young man,--by any young man; for the +character of the youth is never stated. There is an inference, also, +in the second one given, that the "hours" of a young woman can be +employed to no better purpose than that of untangling a skein of silk. +All this is throwing light on our problem, for so long as so much is +expected of woman physically, and so little in the way of mental +acquirements; so long as it is taken for granted that she is a +subordinate being, that to contribute to the physical comfort and +pleasure of man, and gain his approval, are the highest purposes of +her existence,--it will not be considered essential that she should +acquire culture. These aims are by no means unimportant ones, or +unworthy ones; but are they in all cases the highest a woman should +possess? + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE.--THE EARLY TRAINING OP WOMEN.--COMMON +FALLACIES.--THE EDUCATION OF MOTHERS. + + +Having glanced at the present state of things, and at some of its +causes, let us show reasons why it should be changed. + +A sufficient reason is, because it dwarfs the intellect, ruins the +health, and shortens the lives, of so many women. Another reason is, +that whereas the husband may keep himself informed on matters of +general interest in literature, art, science, and progress, while the +wife must give her mind to domestic activities, there is danger of the +two growing apart, which growing apart is destructive of that perfect +sympathy so essential to the happiness of married life. A certain +librarian remarked. "If a man wants a book for himself, I pick out a +solid work; if for his wife, a somewhat light and trifling one." +Third, because human beings have so much in common, are so closely +connected, that the good of all requires the good of each, and each of +all. And here is where the shortsightedness of the aristocracy of +wealth and the aristocracy of sex are strikingly apparent. They fail +to see that the very inferiority of what are called the inferior +classes re-acts on the superior classes. We all know how it is in the +human body. An injury to one small bone in the foot may cause distress +which shall be felt "all over," and shall disturb the operations of +the lordly brain itself. So in the body social. The wealthy and +refined, into whose luxurious dwellings enters no unsightly, no +uncleanly object, may say to themselves, "Never mind those poor +wretches down at the other end, huddled together in their filthy +tenements. They are ignorant, they don't know how to get along; but +their condition doesn't concern us, so long as our houses are light, +clean, and airy." + +Those poor wretches, however, because they are ignorant, because they +don't know how "to get along," because they live huddled together in +filthy tenements, breathing foul air, starving on bad food, become a +ready prey to infectious diseases. The infectious diseases spread. Men +of wealth, from the refined and cleanly quarters, encounter in their +business walks representatives from the degraded and disgusting +quarter, and take from them the seeds of those diseases; or, on some +fatal day, a miasma from the corruption of the degraded quarter is +wafted in at the windows of the luxurious dwellings, and the idols of +those dwellings are stricken down. So in the body politic. The wise +and well-to-do enact laws, obedience to which is for the general good. +The ignorant and poverty-stricken, because of their unenlightened +condition, cannot see that obedience is for the good of all, and break +those laws. Hence crimes, the effects of which the wise and well-to-do +are made to feel, and for the punishment of which they are made to +pay. It is the same with man and woman. Man says, "Let woman manage +her domestic concerns, attend to her children, and gain the +approbation of her husband. These are her chief duties, and for these +little culture is needed." But woman becomes the mother of sons who +become men; and the character, condition, and destiny of those sons +who become men are, as we have seen, determined largely by the +condition, pre-natal and post-natal, of the mothers. So that the +ignorance in which woman is kept by man re-acts on man. + +A fourth reason for a change is, that we live in a republic. In a +republic every man has a voice in public affairs. Every man is first a +child; and children, commonly speaking, are what the mother's +influence helps to make them. Therefore, if you would have the country +wisely, honestly, and decently governed, give the children the right +kind of mothers. If the community knew its own interests, it would not +merely permit women all possible means of culture, but would force all +possible means of culture upon them. It would say, "We can't afford +that you exhaust yourselves by labor, that you fritter yourselves away +in vanities; for by your deficiencies we all suffer, by your losses we +all lose." + +But mark how stupid the community is. It desires that all its members +shall possess wisdom and integrity; it declares that, in regard to +character, a great deal depends on early training; it declares that +this early training is the duty of mothers; and yet it does not take +the next step, and say, _Therefore_ mothers should be qualified +for their duty, and have every facility for performing it +satisfactorily. It asserts with great solemnity, "Just as the twig is +bent the tree's inclined," then gives all its twigs into the hands of +mothers, saying, "Here, bend these: it makes a terrible difference how +they are bent, but then it is not important that you have given any +attention to the process." Or, to vary the statement, the community +virtually addresses woman in this way: "A fearful responsibility rests +upon you. It is the responsibility of training these young, immortal +souls. This is your mission, your high and holy calling. You will, +however, get little time to attend to it; and, as for any special +preparation or knowledge of the subject, none is required. There's a +great deal of delicate and complex machinery to superintend, and a +mistake will tell fearfully in the result; but, never mind, we'll +trust luck." "Do we not," as Horace Mann once asked, "do we not need +some single word where we can condense into one monosyllable the +meaning of ten thousand fools?" Some deny the power of early training. +"Look!" they say, "there is a family of children brought up just +alike, and see how differently they all turn out." But a family of +children should not be brought up just alike. Different temperaments +require different treatment. And this is exactly the point where +knowledge is necessary, and a wisdom almost superhuman. That character +is the result of "inherited traits," as well as of education, does not +affect the case, since children "inherit" from mothers and the sons of +mothers. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +But suppose we leave this part of our subject, and endeavor now to +find a way out of this present state of things. Let us keep the +situation clearly before us. As things are, woman cannot obtain +culture because of being overburdened with work and care, and also +because of her enfeebled condition physically. To what is this present +state of things owing? Largely to the unworthy views of both men and +women concerning the essentials of life, and concerning the +requirements of woman's vocation. And these unworthy views of men and +women, to what are they owing? In a very great measure to early +impressions. Who, chiefly, are responsible for these? Mothers. They +are also, as has been shown, responsible for the larger part of the +prevailing invalidism of woman. Let us be sure to bear in mind that +these evils, these hinderances to culture, can be traced directly back +to the influence and the ignorance of mothers; for here is where the +whole thing hinges. Here is a basis to build upon. Child-training is +at the beginning. Child-training is woman's work. Everybody says so. +The wise say so. The foolish say so. The "oak and vine" man says so. +The "private way, dangerous passing" man says so. Very good. If this +is woman's work, _educate her for her work_. If "educate" isn't +the right word, instruct her, inform her, teach her, prepare her; name +the process as you choose, so that it enables her to comprehend the +nature of her business, and qualifies her to perform its duties. She +requires not only general culture, but special preparation, a +technical preparation if you will. Let this come in as the +supplementary part of what is called her education. Many will +pronounce this absurd; but why is it absurd? Say we have in our young +woman's class at the "Institute," thirty or forty or fifty young +women. Now, we know that almost every one of these, either as a mother +or in some other capacity, will have the care of children. The +"Institute" assumes to give these young women such knowledge as shall +be useful to them in after life. If "Institutes" are not for this +purpose, what are they for? One might naturally suppose, then, that +the kind of knowledge which its pupils need for their special vocation +would rank first in importance. And what kind will they need? Step +into the house round the corner, or down the street, and ask that +young mother, looking with unutterable tenderness upon the little +group around her, what knowledge she would most value. She will say, +"I long more than words can express to know how to keep these children +well. I want to make them good children, to so train them that they +will be comforts to themselves and useful to others. But I am ignorant +on every point. I don't know how to keep them well, and I don't know +how to control them, how to guide them." + +"It is said," you reply, "that every child brings love with it. Is not +love all-powerful and all-sufficient?" + +"Love does come with every child; but, alas! knowledge does not come +with the love. My love is so strong, and yet so blind, that it even +does harm. I would almost give up a little of my love if knowledge +could be got in exchange." + +Here, perhaps, you inquire, somewhat sarcastically, if no instruction +on these subjects was given at the "Institute." She opens wide her +astonished eyes. "Oh, no! No, indeed,--surely not." + +"What, then, were you taught there?" + +"Well, many things,--Roman history for one. We learned all about the +Punic Wars, their causes, results, and the names of the famous +generals on both sides." + +Now, if a Bostonian were going to Europe, it would do him no harm to +be told the names of all the streets in Chicago, the names of the +inhabitants of each street, with the stories of their lives, their +quarrels, reconciliations, and how each one rose or fell to his +position. Acquiring these facts would be good mental exercise, and +from a part of them he would learn something of human nature. But what +that man wants to know more than any thing is, on what day the steamer +sails for Europe: is she seaworthy? what are her accommodations? is +she well provisioned, well manned, well commanded? are her +life-preservers stuffed with cork or shavings? So, if a man is going +to build a boat, you might show him a collection of fossils, and +discourse to him of the gneiss system, the mica-schist system, or talk +of the atomic theory and protoplasms. Such knowledge would help to +enlarge his views, extend his range of vision, and strengthen his +memory, but would not help the man to build his boat. He wants to know +how to lay her keel straight, how to hit the right proportions, how to +make her mind her helm, how to make her go; and he has been taught +that the great pachyderms are divided into paleotheria and +anoplotheria. The same of our young mother: she wants to know how to +bring up her child, and she has been taught "how many Punic wars there +were, their causes, results, and the names of the famous generals on +both sides." + +It may be asked here, in what way, or by what studies, shall the young +woman's class at the "Institute" be taught the necessary knowledge? It +would be presumption in one like me to attempt a complete answer to +that question. But the professors, presidents, and stockholders of our +"Institutes" are learned and wise. If these will let their light shine +in this direction as they have let it shine in other directions, a way +will be revealed. But, while learning and wisdom are getting ready to +do this, mere common sense may offer a few suggestions. Suppose the +young woman's class were addressed somewhat in this way: "It is +probable that all of you, in one capacity or another, will have the +care of young children, and that for the majority it will be the chief +duty of your lives. There is, then, nothing in the whole vast range of +learning so important to you as knowledge on this subject." This for a +general statement to begin with. As for the particular subjects and +their order, common sense would ask, first, What does a young mother +want to know first? First, she wants to know how to keep her child +alive, how to make it strong to endure or defy disease. She needs to +be taught, for instance, why a child should breathe pure air, and why +it should not get its pure air in the form of draughts. She needs to +know if it makes any difference what a child eats, or how often, and +that a monotonous diet is injurious. She needs to know something of +the nutritive qualities of different kinds of food, and why some are +easy of digestion and others not, and in what way each kind builds up +the system. She needs to understand the chemistry of cookery, in order +to judge what kinds of food are calculated to make the best blood, +bones, and muscles. She needs to have some general ideas in regard to +ways of bringing back the system from an abnormal to a healthy state; +as, for instance, equalizing the circulations. Learned professors, +women physicians, will know how to deliver courses of lectures on all +such subjects, and to tell what books have been written on them, and +where these books may be found. And, as for the absurdity of teaching +these things beforehand, compare that with the absurdity of rearing a +race to hand over to physicians and undertakers, and choose between. +And even apart from their practical bearing, why are not such items of +knowledge as well worth learning, as simply items of knowledge, as the +hundreds of others which, at present, no young woman's course can be +without? There is no doubt that if mothers were given a knowledge of +these matters beforehand, instead of being left to acquire it +experimentally, the present frightful rate of infant mortality (nearly +twenty-five per cent) would be reduced. Plenty of light has been +thrown on this subject, but the community does not receive it. Here is +some which was contributed to one of the Board of Health reports by a +physician. + +"The mother," he says, "requires something more than her loving +instincts, her ready sympathies. With all her good-will and +conscientiousness, mistakes are made. The records of infant mortality +offer a melancholy illustration of the necessity of the mother's +previous preparation for the care of her children. The first-born die +in infancy in much larger proportion than their successors in the +family. The mother learns at the cost of her first child, and is +better prepared for the care of the second, and still better for the +third and fourth, whose chances of development into full life and +strength are much greater than those of the oldest brothers and +sisters." + +Think of the mother learning "at the cost of her first child," and of +the absurd young woman learning beforehand; and choose between. Also +please compare the "previous preparation" here recommended with the +mere bureau-drawer preparation, which is the only one at present +deemed necessary. Another writer, an Englishman, speaking of the high +rate of infant mortality, says, "It arises from ignorance of the +proper means to be employed in rearing children," which certainly is +plain language. Such facts and opinions as these would make an +excellent basis for a course of lectures at the "Institute," to be +given by competent women physicians. The advertisements of "Mrs. +Winslow's Soothing Syrup" would be remarkably suggestive in this +connection. A mother of three little children said to me, "I give the +baby her dose right after breakfast; and she goes to sleep, and sleeps +all the forenoon. That's the way I get my work done." We all know why +the baby sleeps after taking its dose. We do not know how many mothers +adopt this means of getting their work done; but the fact that the +proprietor of this narcotic gained his immense wealth by the sale of +it enables us to form some idea. + +The importance of educating nursery-girls for their calling, and the +physical evils which may arise from leaving young children entirely to +the care of nursery-girls, would be exceedingly suggestive as lecture +subjects. Mr. Kingsley asks, "Is it too much to ask of mothers, +sisters, aunts, nurses, and governesses, that they should study thrift +of human health and human life by studying somewhat the laws of life +and health? There are books--I may say a whole literature of +books--written by scientific doctors on these matters, which are, to +my mind, far more important to the schoolroom than half the trashy +accomplishments, so called, which are expected to be known by our +governesses." + +But, supposing a mother succeeds in keeping her child alive and well, +what knowledge does she desire next? She desires to know next how to +guide it, influence it, mould its character. She does all these, +whether she tries to or not, whether she knows it or not, whether she +wishes to or not. Says Horace Mann, "It ought to be understood and +felt, that in regard to children all precept and example, all kindness +and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all forms, indeed, of +direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, just as dew, and +sun, and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable growth. Their +influences are integrated and made one with the soul. They enter into +spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be wholly +decompounded. They are like the daily food eaten by wild game, so +pungent in its nature that it flavors every fibre of their flesh, and +colors every bone in their bodies. Indeed, so pervading and enduring +is the effect of education upon the youthful soul, that it may well be +compared to a certain species of writing ink, whose color at first is +scarcely perceptible, but which penetrates deeper and grows blacker by +age, until, if you consume the scroll over a coal-fire, the character +will still be legible in the cinders." + +In regard to inherited bad traits, the question arises, if even these +may not be changed for the better by skilful treatment given at a +sufficiently early period. Children inheriting diseased bodies are +sometimes so reared as to become healthy men and women. To do this +requires watchfulness and wise management. How do we know that by +watchfulness and wise management children born with inherited bad +traits may not be trained to become good men and women? But the +majority of mothers do not watch for such traits. It seldom occurs to +them that they should thus watch. Why not bring the subject to the +consideration of young women "beforehand," when, being assembled in +companies, they are easy of access? It is too late when they are +scattered abroad, and burdened each with her pressing family duties. +"Forewarned is forearmed." + +Some are of the opinion that the badness which comes by inheritance +cannot be changed. This is equivalent to believing that there is no +help for the evil in the world. Unworthy and vicious parents are +continually transmitting objectionable traits to their children, who +in turn will transmit them to theirs, and so on to the end of time. +Shall we fold our hands, and resign ourselves to the prospect, while +our educators go on ignoring the whole matter, and leaving those who +might affect a change ignorant that it is in their power to do so? + +"But," says one, "the children of those people who thought so much +about education, and who started with model theories, behave no better +than other people's children." This may be true, and still prove +nothing. "Those people" might not have thought wisely about education. +Their model theories might not have been adapted to the various +temperaments often found in one family. Their children might have been +exceptionally faulty by nature; unsuspected inherited traits may have +developed themselves, and interfered with the workings of the model +theories. The failure of "those people" shows all the more the need of +preparation given "beforehand," and given by those who make the +subject a special study, just as the professor of history, or +mathematics, or natural philosophy, makes his department a special +study. + +When we consider how much is at stake, it really seems as if learned +and wise professors could not employ their learning and wisdom to +better purpose than in devising ways of enlightening the "young +woman's class" upon any and every point which has a bearing on the +intellectual and moral training of children. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS. + + +It is not to be supposed that enlightenment on subjects pertaining to +the intellectual and moral training of children can be given to a +young woman in text-book fashion, cut and dried, put up in packages, +and labelled ready for use. But it will be something gained to set her +thinking on these subjects, to make her feel their importance, and to +inform her in what books and by what writers they have been +considered. All this, and more to the same purpose, could be done by +lectures and discussions, for which lectures and discussions even +humble common sense need be at no loss to suggest topics. There are, +for instance, the different methods of governing, of reproving, of +punishing, and of securing obedience; the evils of corporal +punishment, of governing by ridicule, of showing temper while +punishing. Then there are questions like these: How far should love of +approbation be encouraged? What prominence shall be given to +externals, as personal appearance, the minutia of behavior, politeness +of speech? How may perfect politeness be combined with perfect +sincerity? Ways of inculcating integrity. How to teach self-reliance, +without fostering self-conceit. How to encourage prudence and economy, +and at the same time discourage parsimony. How to combine firmness +with kindness. Implicit obedience a good basis to work on. How to +enter into a child's life, and make it a happy one. How not to become +a slave to a child's whims. The different amounts of indulgence and of +assistance which different temperaments will bear. How shall +liberality be inculcated, and extravagance denounced? On deceitfulness +as taught by parents. On lying as taught by parents. On the +impossibility of making one theory work in a whole family of children, +or always on a single child. Shall obedience be implicit, and how +early in the child's life shall it be exacted? On marriages. On the +true issues of life. When shall ambition and the spirit of emulation +be encouraged, and when repressed? The possibility of too much +fault-finding making a child callous. If mere common sense discovers +so many subjects, what number may not learning and wisdom discover +when their attention shall be turned in this direction? + +The "nursery-girl" topic might come up again, and be considered in its +moral and intellectual aspects. Some mothers see their small children +only once or twice a day, while the nurse is with them constantly. +This fact might be made strikingly significant by placing it side by +side with Horace Mann's words: "In regard to children, all precept and +example, all kindness and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all +forms, indeed, of direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, +just as dew and sun and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable +growth. Their influences are integrated and made one with the soul. +They enter into spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be +wholly decompounded,"--also with a previously quoted assertion, +founded on actual experiments, that "it is the medium in which a child +is habitually immersed" which helps most in forming the child's +character. The kind of reading which falls into the hands of the young +would be found to be a lecture topic of appalling interest. Striking +illustrations for such lectures could be taken from the advertisements +and statistics of story-paper and dime-novel publishers. The +illustrated papers which can be bought and are bought by youth are +crammed to overflowing with details of vice and barbarity. They have +columns headed "A Melange of Murder," "Fillicide, or a Son killing a +Father," "Lust and Blood," "Fiendish Assassination," "Particulars of +the Hanging of John C. Kelly," "Carving a Darky," "An Interesting +Divorce Case in Boston," "A Band of Juvenile Jack Sheppards." And the +pictures match the reading,--a jealous lover shooting a half-naked +girl; a father murdering his family; an inquisitive youth peering into +a ladies' dressing-room. If the contents of these papers are bad for +us to hear of, what must they be to the youth who read them? Dime +novels are advertised in these same papers as being issued once a +month, and supplied by all the news companies, "Sensational stories +from the pens of gifted American novelists!" "The Sharpers' League," +"Lyte, or the Suspected One," "The Pirate's Isle," "Darrell, the +Outlaw," "The Night Hawks, containing Midnight Robbery, Plots dark and +deep," "The Female Poisoner," "Etne of the Angel Face and Demon +Heart," "The Cannibal Kidnappers, a Sequel to the Boy Mutineers," +"Life for Life, or the Spanish Gipsy Girl," "Tom Wildrake's +School-days." Some of these papers are entitled "Boys' and Girls'" +weeklies. The old saying is, "Build doves' nests, and doves will +come." What kind of "nests" are being built by the young readers of +these publications, of which it may almost literally be said, "no boy +can do without one"? The boy at school has one between the leaves of +his geography; the boy riding, or sailing, or resting from his work or +his play, draws one from his pocket; the grocer's boy comes forward to +serve you, tucking one under his jacket. In the way of statistics, it +might be stated that nineteen tons of obscene publications and plates +for the same were seized at one time in New-York City. Should +representatives of "our best families" ask, "How does this affect us +and ours?" it could be answered that catalogues of academies and +boarding-schools are obtained, and that these publications are then +forwarded to pupils by mail. + +Topics of this kind would naturally suggest those of an opposite kind, +as modes of awakening in children an appreciation of the beauty, the +sublimity, the wonderfulness, of the various objects in the world of +nature; also of cultivating in their minds a taste for the beautiful +and the refined in art, literature, manners, conversation. These +considerations could be effectively introduced into a lecture or +lectures "On the Building of Doves' Nests." Is it not "essential" that +mothers should have the time, the facilities, and the knowledge +necessary for accomplishing what is here suggested, and that they be +made sensible of its importance? But there is many a busy mother now +who can scarcely "take time" to look out when her children call her to +see a rainbow, much less to walk out with them among natural objects. + +The object of these lectures should not be to teach any particular +theories on which to act in the management of children, but to so +instruct, so to enlighten young women, that when the time for action +comes they will act intelligently. With the majority of women the +management of children is a mere "getting along." In this "getting +along" they often have recourse to deception; thus teaching +deceitfulness. They are often unfair, punishing on one occasion what +they smile at or wink at on another; thus teaching injustice. They +lose self-control, and punish when in anger; thus setting examples of +violence and bad temper. It is probable that a young woman who had +been educated with a view to her vocation would be more likely to act +wisely in these emergencies and in her general course of management, +than one who had not. There would be more chance of her taking pains +to consider. She would not work so blindly, so aimlessly, so "from +hand to mouth," as do some of our mothers. + +Such enlightenment is an enlightenment for which any good mother will +be thankful. She wants it to work with. She feels the need of it every +hour in the day. Why, then, is it not given to young women as a part +of their education, and as the most important part? They are +instructed in almost every thing else. They can give you the areas, +population, boundaries, capitals, and peculiarities of far-away and +insignificant provinces; the exact measurements of mountain ranges, +lakes, and rivers; statistics, in figures, of the farthest isle beyond +the farthest sea. They are lectured on the antediluvians, on the Milky +Way, on the Siamese, Japanese, North Pole, on all the ologies; on the +literature, modes of thought, and modes of life, of extinct races. +They can converse in foreign tongues; they are familiar with dead +languages, and with the superstitions, observances, and quarrels of +certain races, barbarous or otherwise, who existed thousands of years +ago. In fact, they are taught, after some fashion, almost every thing +except what their life-work will specially require. Little will it +avail a mother in her seasons of perplexity or of bereavement to +remember "what wars engaged Rome after the Punic Wars, and how many +years elapsed before she was mistress of the Mediterranean." This and +the following questions are taken from the "Examination Papers" of a +popular "Institute" for young ladies. + +"Give names and dates of the principal engagements of the Persian +wars, with the names of the great men of Greece during that period." + +"Show cause, object, and result of the Peloponnesian war." + +"Give names and attributes of the seven kings of Rome." + +"After the kings were driven out, what does the internal history +mainly consist of?" + +"What were the social, and what were the civil wars?" + +Common sense might ask why every child born in the nineteenth century +must go to work so solemnly to learn the minute particulars of those +old wars! Still common sense would not declare such knowledge to be +altogether worthless; it would only suggest that woman wants the kind +which will help her in her special department, more than she wants +this kind. Said a lady in my hearing,--an only child reared in the +very centre of wealth and culture,--"I was most carefully educated; +but, when I came to be the mother of children, I found myself utterly +helpless." + +It is gratifying to know that in regard to these matters common sense +has very respectable learning and wisdom on its side. A celebrated +writer and thinker says, "If by some strange chance not a vestige of +us descended to the remote future, save a pile of our school-books, or +some college examination papers, we may imagine how puzzled an +antiquary of the period would be on finding in them no indication that +the learners were ever likely to be parents. 'This must have been the +curriculum for their celibates,' we may fancy him concluding: 'I +perceive here an elaborate preparation for many things; especially for +reading the books of extinct nations (from which, indeed, it seems +clear that these people had very little worth reading in their own +tongue), but I find no reference whatever to the bringing up of +children. They could not have been so absurd as to omit all training +for this gravest of responsibilities. Evidently, then, this was the +school-course of one of their monastic orders.' Seriously, is it not +an astonishing fact, that though on the treatment of offspring depend +their lives or their deaths, and their moral welfare or ruin, not one +word on such treatment is ever given to those who will hereafter be +parents? Is it not monstrous, that the fate of a new generation should +be left to the chances of unreasoning custom, impulse, fancy, joined +with the suggestions of ignorant nurses and the prejudiced counsel of +grandmothers? To tens of thousands that are killed, add hundreds of +thousands that survive with feeble constitutions, and millions that +grow up with constitutions not so strong as they should be, and you +will have some idea of the curse inflicted on their offspring by +parents ignorant of the laws of life. With cruel carelessness they +have neglected to learn any thing about these vital processes which +they are unceasingly affecting by their commands and prohibitions; in +utter ignorance of the simplest physiological laws, they have been, +year by year, undermining the constitutions of their children, and +have so inflicted disease and premature death not only on them but on +their descendants. Consider the young mother and her nursery +legislation. But a few years ago she was at school, where her memory +was crammed with words, names, and dates; where not one idea was given +her respecting the methods of dealing with the opening mind of +childhood. The intervening years have been passed in practising music, +in fancy work, in novel-reading, and in party-going; no thought having +been yet given to the grave responsibilities of maternity. And now see +her with an unfolding human character committed to her charge,--see +her profoundly ignorant of the phenomena with which she has to deal, +undertaking to do that which can be done but imperfectly even with the +aid of the profoundest knowledge.... Lacking knowledge of mental +phenomena, with their causes and consequences, her interference is +frequently more mischievous than absolute passivity would have been." + +This writer, it seems, would also have young men educated with a view +to their probable duties as fathers, and so, of course, would we all; +and much might be said on this point, especially of its bearing on the +solution of our problem; still, as Mr. Frothingham said in a recent +address, "The mother, of all others, is the one to foster and control +the individuality of the child." It was "good mothers" which Napoleon +needed in order to secure the welfare of France. "Such kind of women +as are the mothers of great men," is a significant sentence I have +seen somewhere in print. In fact, so much depends on mothers, that +there seems no possible way by which our problem can be fully solved +until the right kind of mothers shall have been raised up, and their +children be grown to maturity. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE. + + +But is there no possible way by which mothers now living may escape +from this present unsatisfactory condition? Yes; but not many will +adopt it. Simplicity in food and in dress would set free a very large +number. A great part of what are called their "domestic" occupations +consists in the preparation of food which is worse than unnecessary. A +great part of their sewing work consists in fabricating "trimmings" +which are worse than useless, even considering beauty a use, which it +is. Let these simplify their cooking and their dressing, and time for +culture will appear, and for them our problem be solved. We preach +against the vice of intemperance, and with reason. Let us ask +ourselves if intemperance in eating and in dressing is not even more +to be deplored. The former brings ruin to comparatively a few: by +means of the latter the whole tone of mind among women is lowered; and +we have seen what it costs to lower the tone of mind among women. We +must remember that not only is the condition of the mother reflected +in the organism of her child, but that the child is taught by the +daily example of its mother what to look upon as the essentials of +life. "I feel miserable," said a feeble house-mother, just recovering +from sickness; "but I managed to crawl out into the kitchen, and stir +up a loaf of cake." Now, why should a sick woman have crawled out into +the kitchen, to stir up a loaf of cake? Was that a paramount +duty,--one which demanded the outlay of her little all of strength? +This is the obvious inference, and one which children would naturally +draw. A lady of intelligence, on hearing this case stated, expressed +the opinion that the woman did no more than her duty. Said this lady, +"If her husband liked cake, it was her duty to provide it for him at +whatever sacrifice of health on her own part." + +Now, it seems reasonable to suppose that an affectionate couple would +have a mutual understanding in regard to such matters. It seems +reasonable to suppose that an affectionate husband would rather +partake of plain fare in the society of a wife with sufficient health +and spirits to be companionable, than to eat his cake alone while she +was recovering from the fatigue of making it. + +Speaking of inferences, it is obvious what ones a child will draw from +seeing its mother deprive herself of sleep and recreation and +reading-time in order to trim a suit _à la mode_. And these +inferences of children concerning essentials have a mighty bearing on +our problem. Some ladies defend the present elaborate style of dress +on the ground that it affords the means of subsistence to +sewing-girls. There is something in this, but I think not so much as +appears. Go into the upper lofts where much of this sewing is done, +and what will you find? You will find them crowded with young girls, +bending over sewing-machines, or over work-tables, breathing foul air, +and, in some cases, engaged in conversations of the most objectionable +character. Their pay is ridiculously small,--a dollar and a half for +doing the machine-work on a full-trimmed fashionable "suit." I learned +this, and about the conversations, from a worker at one of these +establishments. Clothes, especially outside clothes, they must have +and will have; consequently the saving must be made on food. Some, too +poor to pay board, hire attic rooms, and pinch themselves in both fire +and food. They often carry their dinner, say bread, tea, and +confectioner's pie, and remain at the store all day. They are liable +to be thrown among vile associates; they are exposed to many +temptations. They enrich their employers, but not themselves. In dull +seasons their situation is pitiable, not to say dangerous. A great +number of them come from country homes. Of these, many might live +comfortably in those homes, and others might earn a support by working +in their neighbors' houses, where they would be considered as members +of the families, have good lodging and nourishing food, and where +their assistance is not only desired, but in some cases actually +suffered for. They prefer the excitements of city life. (Of course, +these remarks do not apply to all of them.) Fashionable ladies may not +employ shop-girls directly or indirectly, but their example helps to +make a market for the services of these girls. Another consideration +is, that the poor seamstress who is benefited directly by the money of +fashionable ladies is taught as directly, by their example, false +views as to the essentials of life; so that what helps in one way +hinders in another. All this should be considered by those who bring +forward "sewing-girls' needs" as an argument for an elaborate style of +dress. Even were this argument sound, it fails to cover the case. A +very large proportion of our women have not money enough to hire their +sewing done, and it is upon these that the wearisome burden falls. To +keep up, to vary with the varying fashion, they toil in season and out +of season. Day after day you will see them at their work-tables, their +machines, their lap-boards; ripping, stitching, turning, altering, +furbishing; complaining often of sideache, of backache, of headache, +of aching all over; denying themselves outdoor air and exercise and +reading-time,--and all because they consider dressing fashionably an +essential of life. With them, what costs only time, health, and +strength, costs nothing. + +Think of this going on all over the country. Think of the sacrifices +it involves. In view of them, it really seems as if those who can +afford to hire their sewing done should give up elaborate trimmings +just for example's sake. To be sure, this is not striking at the +foundation. To be sure, this is not the true way of bringing about a +reform. But, while waiting to get at the foundation, would it not be +well to work a little on the surface for the sake of immediate +results? You would refrain from taking a glass of wine if, by so +doing, you made abstinence easier for your weaker brother or sister. +Why not consider the weakness of these toiling sisters? It is not +their fault that they do not see what are the true issues of life. +They have not been wisely educated. If the wealthy and influential +would adopt a simple style of dress, their doing so would be the means +of relieving many overburdened women immediately, and of helping them +to solve the problem we are considering. It is not wicked to dress +simply, and no principle would be sacrificed. Neither would good +taste. Indeed, the latter is opposed to excessive ornamentation, +whether in dress, manners, speech, or writing. Long live beauty! Long +live taste! Long live the "aesthetic side"! But simplicity does not +necessarily imply plainness, nor homeliness, nor uncouthness. There +can be a simplicity of adornment. I am aware that acting for example's +sake is not a sound principle of action; but it is a question if it be +not duty in this particular case. A lady physician of large practice +once said to me, "I see, among poor girls, so much misery caused by +this,"--meaning this rage for excessive trimming,--"that I can +scarcely bring myself to wear even one plain fold." If it be asked, +Should we not also relinquish costly fabrics, and the elegant +appointments of our dwellings? it may be answered, that "poor girls" +commonly give up these as being entirely out of their reach. They buy +low-priced material, and call the dress cheap which costs only their +time, their strength, their sleep, and their opportunities for reading +and recreation. + +We all know that the right way is to so educate woman that she will be +sensible in these matters. The external life is but the natural +outgrowth of the internal. It is of no use cutting off follies and +fripperies from the outside so long as the heart's desire for them +remains. This heart's desire must have something better in its +place,--something higher, nobler, worthier. This something is +enlightenment; and to effect the exchange we shall have to begin at +the beginning, and enlighten the mothers. Follies and fripperies, in +cooking or dressing, will give way before enlightenment, just as do +the skin paintings, tattooings, gaudy colors, glass beads and tinsel, +and other absurdities of savage tribes; just as have done the barbaric +customs and splendors of the barbaric ages. Woman is not quite out of +her barbaric stage yet. At any rate, she is not fully enlightened. The +desire for that redundancy of adornment which is in bad taste still +remains. In the process of evolution, the nose-ring has been cast off; +but rings are still hooked into the flesh of the ears, and worn with +genuine barbaric complacency. When women are all wisely educated, our +problem will melt away and disappear. The wisely-educated woman will, +of her own accord, lay hold on essentials and let go unessentials. She +will do the best thing with her time, the best thing with her means. +She may conform to fashion, but will not feel obliged to do so. In +fact, when women become enlightened, non-conformity to fashion will be +all the fashion. Right of private judgment in the matter will be +conceded. All women shall dress as seemeth to them good; and no woman +shall say, or think, or look, "Why do ye so?" Those having +insufficient means and time will be so wise as not to feel compelled +to dress like those who have plenty of both. + +Meanwhile, as an immediate measure of relief, suppose a dozen or +twenty mothers in each town should agree to adopt a simple yet +tasteful style of dress for themselves and their little girls. This +would lighten, at once, their heavy burden of work, give them "time to +read," and would be a benefit to those little girls in many ways. + +Another way of immediate escape is by making the present race of +husbands aware that their wives are being killed, or crazed, with hard +work and care, especially husbands in the small towns and villages, +and more especially farmers. In regard to these last, it is no +exaggeration to say that their wives in many cases work like slaves. +Indeed, this falls short of the truth, for slaves have not the added +burden of responsibility. As things are now, the woman who marries a +farmer often goes, as one may say, into a workhouse, sentenced to hard +labor for life. + +When these husbands permit their wives to "overwork," it is not from +indifference, but from sheer ignorance. They don't know, they don't +begin to conceive, of the labor there is in "woman's work." It is true +that neither are merchant-princes aware of what it costs their wives +to superintend the complicated arrangements of their establishments; +to see that all the wheels, and the wheels within wheels, revolve +smoothly, and that comfort and style go hand in hand; but let us +consider now the farmers' wives, toiling on, and on, and on, in +country towns, East, West, and all the way between. Their husbands, in +not a few cases, are able to hire at least the drudgery done, and +would if they only knew. A young woman from a New Hampshire village, +herself an invalid from hard work, speaking to me of her mother, said, +"She suffers every thing with her back. When she stoops down to the +oven to attend to the pies, she has to hold on to her back, hard, to +get up again." I said, "Why, I shouldn't think your father would let +her make them."--"Oh," said she, "father don't understand. He's hard." +One day I was sitting in the house of a young woman,--a fragile, +delicate creature, scarcely able to lift the baby she was +holding,--when her husband came in. He was a working man, tall and +robust looking. He walked toward the pantry. "You mustn't cut a pie," +the little wife called out laughing. Then turning to me, she said, +with a sort of appealing, piteous glance, "He don't understand how +hard it is for me to make pies." I know a young woman, not a strong +woman, who, with a family of very little children, does her own work, +and makes from one to two dozen pies at a common baking, "'cause hubby +loves 'em." I know another, similarly situated, who gives her husband +pies at breakfast as well as at other meals, because "he was brought +up to them at home." Now, all these "hubbies" are loving "hubbies," +but--they do not know. A friend of mine, an elderly woman lately +deceased, came to her death (so her neighbors said) by hard work. +"Killed with work," was the exact expression they used. She was a dear +good woman; a person of natural refinement, of strict integrity, of a +forgiving spirit, intelligent, sweet-tempered, gentle-mannered; +everybody loved her. Her husband is a well-to-do farmer. He inherited +money and lands, and has them still. His wife, who was every thing to +him, whom he could not bear out of his sight, and for whom, if he had +known, he would have sacrificed money and lands, is gone. But--he did +not know. "Mother" never complained. "Mother" did the cooking, did the +washing, scrubbed the floors. They had "company forever," the +neighbors said. "Mother" received, with smiling hospitality, all who +came. Help was hard to procure; still help might and would have been +procured had the husband known the case to be, as it certainly was, a +case of life or death. But--he did not know: so "mother" died of work +and care. + +You sometimes see a woman, after hurrying through her forenoon's work, +sink down entirely prostrated, too tired to speak a loud word, every +nerve in her body quivering. The jar of a footfall upon the floor sets +her "all a-tremble." As dinnertime approaches, you see that woman +stepping briskly about the house, a light in her eye, a flush on her +cheek, vivacity in her motions. She is "living on excitement;" "it is +ambition which keeps her up." Her husband, coming in to his dinner, +takes her briskness and vivacity as matters of course, regarding her, +probably, as a woman who has nothing to do but to stay in the house +all day. He has no more idea of the condition of that woman than her +infant has. + +There are thousands of husbands, who, if they knew, would lift the +burden of at least the heaviest drudgery from their wives, thus giving +them longer leases of life. But, as a rule, wives keep their bad +feelings to themselves. They know that "a complaining woman" is a term +of reproach. They are exhorted in newspaper after newspaper to "make +home happy by cheerful looks and words." They wish to do so. With a +laudable desire to save money, they spend themselves, and "get along" +without help. It is truly a getting-along, not a living. Sometimes, +however, they are obliged to mention their feebleness, or their +ailments, as reasons for neglect of duty. It is astonishing how little +importance, in many cases, the husband attaches to the facts thus +stated. Apparently he considers ailments either as being natural to +woman, or as afflictions sent upon her by the Lord. He seems to look +upon her as a sort of machine, which is liable to run down, but which +may easily be wound up by a little medicine, and set going again. If +the medicine does not set her going again, he brings her pastor to +pray for her; if she dies, he says, "The Lord hath taken her away." +All this because he does not know. When husbands are enlightened on +this important point, this solemn point, they will insist on less work +for women. Less work implies more leisure, and with leisure comes time +for culture. + +Another step towards the immediate solution of our problem is, to +establish the fact that woman stands on a level with man, and is +neither an appendage nor a "relict." Relict, it is true, only means +that which is left; still we do not hear James Smith called the +"relict" of Hannah Smith. Standing on the same level does not imply a +likeness, but simply a natural equality,--equality, for instance, in +matters of conscience, judgment, and opinion. It is often said, that, +as a barbarous race progresses toward civilization, its women are +brought nearer and nearer to an equality with its men. Thus in the +barbaric stage woman is an appendage to man, existing solely for his +pleasure and convenience. She is then at her lowest. As civilization +progresses, she rises gradually nearer an equality with man. + +When she is all the way up, when her individuality is recognized as +man's is recognized, then civilization, in this respect, will have +done its perfect work. Woman among us is almost all the way up, but +not quite. She is still considered, and considers herself, a little +bit inferior by nature. We see at once how this bears upon our +question. Just so much as woman is considered inferior, just so much +less importance is attached to the nature of her occupations and +acquirements. It is all right enough that an inferior being should +devote herself to follies, or to drudgeries, or to catering to +fastidious appetites. These duties are on a level with her capacities; +for these she was created, and for these culture is unneeded. When +civilization shall have finished its work, so far as to bring woman up +to her true position of equality with man,--equality in matters of +conscience, judgment, opinion, and privileges,--then will man be able +to put off from his shoulders the responsibility of deciding what is, +and what is not, proper for her to do. He has carried double weight +long and uncomplainingly, and should in justice to himself be +relieved. Equals need not decide for equals. Woman will take up the +burden he throws off, and decide for herself. We must proceed +cautiously here, for there are lions in the path. Being free to +choose, she may choose to take interest in such kinds of public +affairs as have a bearing on her special duty. We are interested in +this, remember, because whatever affects her special duty affects the +solution of our problem. + +Now let us ask, under our breaths, what are public affairs? The public +consists of individuals. If there were no individuals there would be +no public. Public affairs, then, are only individual's affairs, +managed collectively, because that is the most convenient way of +managing them. Their good or bad management affects the comfort of +men, women, and children. Let us ask, why, simply by being christened +"public affairs," should they be turned into a great, horrid bugaboo, +too dangerous for women even to think of? Schools are a part of public +affairs, and one would suppose it to be a part of woman's vocation to +ascertain what is the influence of these schools on the children she +is bringing up; to learn whether they are working with her or against +her. Cases might arise concerning choice of teachers, hours of study, +kinds of study, ventilation, and so forth, in which it would be her +duty, as a child-trainer, to express an opinion: like the following +one, for instance, which comes to us in the newspapers, as "criminal +negligence in the affairs at the Mount Pleasant Schoolhouse, by which +about a dozen children have died of disease, others passed through +severe sickness, and not a few, including teachers, made temporary +invalids, or infected with boils or scrofulous sores, caused by +breathing the polluted air that has infested the building from +neglected earth-closets. The Board of Health officially announced that +this was the cause of the sickness, and recommended the removal of the +earth-closets. The janitor of the building, it seems, is incompetent, +and holds his place only because he is also a member of the School +Board; which suggests the query whether men unfit for janitors are +usually placed on the Nashua School Committee.... Five of the lads who +died were among the brightest scholars in the public schools. The +building has not yet been properly renovated." + +Shall woman's sons be thus destroyed, and woman be powerless to +interfere? + +In urgent cases like this, it might become the duty of the mother to +express her opinion by dropping a slip of paper with a name written on +it into a hat or a box. It would even be possible to conceive of +emergencies in which these slips of paper would so affect some vital +issue,--as, for instance, the choice or removal of the janitor who +will furnish the air for her children to breathe,--that the father +would stay with the children while the mother went out to thus express +her opinion. + +Then, indeed, would the climax be reached! Then would that state of +things so long foretold have come to pass: the husband takes care of +the children, while the wife goes out to vote! Then would the funny +artist snatch up his pencil, and the funny editor his quill. It has +always been a mystery to me where the laugh came in on this joke. +True, it is not his calling; but what is there so very incongruous in +a father's "taking care" of his own children? Fathers love their +children, and will toil night and day for them, even for the very +small ones. Is there any thing ridiculous, then, in their taking them +in their arms, and overlooking their childish sports? A man may take a +lamb in his arms without losing an iota of his dignity, and without +being caricatured in any one of our weeklies. It is quite time that +these precious little human lambs ceased to be the subjects of scoffs +and sneers. + +But we must pass on from this part of our subject, and glance at one +or two other ways of immediate escape from the present unsatisfactory +state of things. See how quickly such escape might be made by a truly +enlightened family. First, they hold counsel together, men and women, +all desiring the same object. Question, How shall "mother" find time +for culture? Say the male members, "Mother's work must be +lessened,--must be: there is a necessity in the case."--"But +how?"--"Well, investigate. Begin with the cooking. Let's see what we +can do without." Three cheers for our side! When man begins to see +what cooking he can do without, woman will begin to see her time for +culture. Dinners are summoned to the bar, examined, and found guilty +of too great variety and of too elaborate desserts. Sentence, less +variety, and fruit for dessert instead of pies, or even pudding: +exception filed here in favor of simple pudding when first course is +scanty or lacking. Suppers summoned, tried, and found guilty of too +great variety and too much richness; sentenced to omit pies for life, +and admonished by judge not to cling too closely to work-compelling +cake. The time thus rescued from the usurper, Cooking, is handed over +to "mother," the true heir, to have, and to hold. + +Or, suppose the question to be one of health. "'Mother' works too +hard. She will wear herself out."--"She doesn't complain."--"That +makes no difference. She must have help."--"Where is the money coming +from to pay the help?"--"Make it; earn it; dig for it; do without +something; give up something; sell something; live on bread and water. +Is there any thing that will weigh in the balance against 'mother's' +life? We shall feel grief when she is worn out; why not when she is +wearing out? We would make sacrifices to bring her back; why not to +keep her with us?" The truth is, that heretofore the wrong things have +been counterbalanced. Placing simple food in one scale, and dainties +in the other, of course the latter outweighs the former; but place +"mother's" needs and "mother's" life in one scale, and dainties in the +other, and then will the latter fly up out of sight, and never be +heard from any more. Councils of this kind, we must remember, are not +to become general until the requirements of "woman's mission" are +generally understood, and until a great many men are made aware that a +great many women are killing themselves by hard work and care, and +until academic professors perceive that it is wiser to give a young +woman the knowledge she will want to use than that which is given for +custom's sake. But how is this general enlightenment to be effected? I +don't know, unless the lecturer makes these subjects the theme of his +lecture, or the poet the burden of his verse, or the minister the text +of his discourse.--Not proper to be brought into the church? Why not? +A great deal about heathen women is brought into the church. Are +American women of less account than they? Does not the condition of +our women call for missionary effort? True, American wives do not +sacrifice themselves for their deceased husbands, but we have seen +that they are sacrificed. There is here no sacred river into which the +mother hurls her newborn babe; but it has been shown, that, because +American mothers are left in ignorance, a large proportion of their +children drop from their arms into the dark river of death. + +Should any object that such subjects are below the dignity of the +church, we might reply that the church is bound to help us for the +reason that the present state of things is partly owing to her +efforts. The ministers of the church in past times have labored to +convince people that this life for its own sake is of little account; +that we were placed here, not to develop the faculties and enjoy the +pleasures which pertain to this stage of our existence, but solely to +prepare for another. They have taught that we sicken and die +prematurely because God wills it, not because we transgress his laws. +To those suffering physically from such transgression they have said +in effect, "Pray God to relieve your pain, for he sent it upon you." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION. + + +Three effective means by which the desired change may be accomplished +are, first, that women meet regularly for the purpose of discussing +such matters as especially affect them and their mission; second, that +they have a paper for this same object; third, that representative +women from different sections of the country come together +occasionally, and compare views on these matters. Such means we +already have in the "Woman's Club," the "Woman's Journal," and the +"Woman's Congress." + +The first of these institutions is not what the uninitiated, judging +from its name, might suppose. The writer, though not a club-member, +can affirm of her own knowledge, that at the weekly gatherings +questions are discussed which have a direct bearing on the interests +of the family and household. From these gatherings, members return to +their homes strengthened, refreshed, enlightened. All teachers can +testify that from teachers' conventions they go back to work with +awakened interest, fresh zeal, and with newly-acquired ideas. The +contact of mind with mind has invigorated them. They have all taken +from each other, yet none have been losers, but all have been gainers. +Every school which lost its teacher for a season gained tenfold by +that teacher's absence. So it is with the club meetings. Women leave +their homes to consider how the standard of those homes may be raised. +I happened to be present once when the discussion was upon "The amount +and kind of obedience to be exacted from children;" and I said to +myself, Now, this seems the right thing exactly. How natural, how +sensible, for women to meet and confer on such subjects as this, each +one bringing her perplexities or her suggestions; the old giving their +experience, the young profiting thereby! What better could mothers do +for their children than thus to meet occasionally and hold counsel +together? + +Still people in general do not take this view of the case. People in +general are satisfied if a mother is bodily present with her children, +and do not trouble themselves as to her enlightenment. + +Look at the last Woman's Congress, side by side with three other large +conventions held in this country not so very long ago, and compare its +purposes with theirs. The questions which occupied the members of one +of the three related chiefly to articles of belief, and to those +particular articles of belief in which they all believed. It was +stated beforehand, that the great object to be attained was unity, and +that no subjects would come up which, by calling out opposing +opinions, might mar the harmony of the occasion. + +Another convention occupied much of its time in deciding whether those +of the denomination who sit at communion with others of the +denomination who have sat at communion with a person who has not been +wholly immersed, shall be fellowshipped by the denomination. + +An enthusiastic member of still another convention publishes a long +and glowing account of its proceedings, in which account occurs the +following curious paragraph:-- + +"During the discussions in convention, the presentation of petitions +and memorials and drafts of canons, the reports of the committees on +canons, the amendments and substitutes, the transit of canons back and +forth between the two houses, and finally, the conference committee, +the slowly developing action of the convention was under such +confusion and cloud, that it was and may yet be difficult for many, +especially those at a distance, to make up their mind as to what +finally took place." The object of this paragraph was to account for +some wrong impressions made by the published reports. + +I submit that what humanity wants to know is, how to live rightly, and +that it is suffering for this knowledge. It is not suffering to know +all about "altar cloths" and "eucharistic lights," and "colored +chasubles" and "the use of the viretta in worship." It is not +suffering to know if certain persons can partake of the Lord's Supper +with other certain persons who have partaken with other certain +persons. It is not suffering to know that a large number of +individuals believe exactly alike, and exactly as did their ancestors. +How are all these agreements and disagreements to help a poor fellow +who has inherited certain proclivities, and wishes to be rid of them, +and that his children may overmaster them? + +Humanity does want to know, right away, how to keep itself alive and +well and doing well. It wants brought up for consideration the wrongs +which oppress it, the evils which defile it, the crimes which degrade +it; to have their causes investigated, and their remedies suggested. +This is live work; and it is such work as this which occupied the +attention of the Woman's Congress. No uncertain sound there. Those "at +a distance," those at the very antipodes, might "make up their mind" +that its members were asking themselves, what have we, as wives and +mothers, to do with these things? While other conventions are +"agreeing," and "fellowshipping," and wrangling over "altar cloths," +and "virettas," the Woman's Congress considers matters which have an +immediate practical bearing on the welfare of human beings. While the +community is working away at the surface, with its prisons, its +police, its hangmen, its societies for the suppression of vice, its +schools for reform, its homes for the fallen (no doubt often with good +results), the Woman's Congress strikes at the foundation, and by +pointing out "The Influence of Literature upon Crime," and the telling +effect of "Pre-natal Influences," suggests how vice may be prevented, +character right-formed, and humanity kept from falling. It inquires, +"How can Woman best oppose Intemperance?" It considers those two vast +underlying subjects, "The Education of Women," and "The Physical +Education of our Girls;" while it by no means overlooks those +unfortunates whom society sets apart, and labels "fallen women." + +In regard to our problem, if any light has been thrown, if, "the word" +has been guessed, I should say "the word" is +"enlightenment,"--enlightenment of the community as to the requirements +of woman's mission, enlightenment of woman herself as a preparation +for that mission. What say you, friends? Shall our women receive +such enlightenment? and shall it come in to the finishing or +supplementary part of their education (so called)? + +True, this will cause innovations; but is it _therefore_ +objectionable? No one will call our present system of education a +perfect one; why, then, should there not be innovations? "Why, +indeed," asks a writer in "The Atlantic," "except that the training of +their children is the last thing about which parents and communities +will exert themselves to vigorous thought and independent action? No +more striking proof of the inertia of the human mind can be found," he +says, "than the fact... that for many generations the true philosophy +of teaching has had its prophets and apostles, and yet that +substantially we are training our children in the same old blundering +way." The fault of this "old blundering way," it seems to me, is its +one-sidedness. It educates only the intellect. Is this the right way? +Surely the moral nature is also educable. Indeed, if the mind is +trained to act energetically, so much more should the moral sense be +trained to control the workings of that mind. Then, since the world, +we hope, is outgrowing battles, why is it considered _essential_ +that we inform ourselves so particularly, so minutely, so +statistically, concerning battles fought so long, long, long ago? Does +the process hasten on the time of beating swords into ploughshares? +Suppose each generation, as it comes on to the stage, does inform +itself thus minutely: what, in the long-run, does humanity gain +thereby? + +But these considerations open up subjects too vast and too important +to be even mentioned in these closing chapters. Will not you who know +the inevitable influence of the mother upon her children,--will you +not see to it that some portion of the time devoted to her education +is spent in preparing her for her life-work? Can you think of any +surer way than this by which good citizens may be raised up for our +country? Wickedness abounds. It is omnipresent. Every day,--yes, twice +a day,--the newspapers bring us tidings of corruption, fraud, villany, +not only in low places, but in high places; in exceedingly high +places. Crime is on the increase. Public officials, supported and +trusted by the people, hesitate not to defraud the people. Individuals +in good and regular standing socially and religiously, church-members, +sabbath-school teachers, defraud their nearest friends. + +Nobody can tell whom to trust. If, then, neither church, nor state, +nor social position, nor any outside influence, has power to make men +honest, where shall we look for such power? We must look to an inside +influence. The restraining power, in order to be effective in all +cases, must proceed from the character of the individual; and the +character of the individual is formed to a very great degree by early +training; and early training comes from--women. So here we are again +down to our working ground. + +Let us hope that innovations will be made. Let us hope that at no +distant day it will be thought as important for a young person to be +made a good member of society as to be able to cipher in the "rule of +three," in "alligation medial" and "alligation alternate." A recent +writer, a professor in the University of Pennsylvania, urges "the +importance of incorporating into our public school systems such +studies and such training as will tend to educate men for their place +in the body politic." He says, "A line of teaching which concerns +matters of more importance to society than all the ordinary branches +of knowledge put together is allowed to have no formal provision made +for it." This writer recommends the study of biographies. In Locke's +system good principles were to be cared for first, intellectual +activity next, and actual knowledge last of all. + +Suppose the young women of thirty years ago had been thoroughly +instructed in hygienic laws: would not the effects of such instruction +be perceptible in our present health-rates and death-rates? Let us +begin now to affect the health-rates and death-rates of thirty years +hence. And it will do no harm to instruct young men also in such +matters. Even while I am writing these pages, a State Board of Health +report comes to me, in which it is shown by facts and figures how our +death-rates are affected by ignorance,--ignorance as exhibited in the +locating, building, and ventilating of dwelling-houses, drainage, +situation of wells, planting of trees, choice of food and cooking of +the same, as well as in the management of children. Can any subjects +comprised in any school course compare in importance with these? For +humanity's sake, let our young people take time enough from their +geographies and Latin dictionaries to learn how to keep themselves +alive! It is possible too, that, if the young women of thirty years +ago had been enlightened on the subject of moral and mental training, +our present crime rates might be less than they are, and dishonesty +and dishonor in high places and in low places be less frequent. + +Mr. Whittier tells the story of a man in a certain town, who desired +the removal of an old building--an almshouse, I think--from a certain +locality. As the quickest way of accomplishing this, he gave a man a +dollar a day on condition that this man should do nothing else but +talk from morning to night with various people on the subject of +having that building moved. And it was moved. The old building we have +to move is made up of prejudices, ignorance, settled opinions, and +firmly-established customs, and it is therefore quite time we were +beginning our work. Remember the tremendous importance of our object. +An Englishman, Lord Rosebury, in a recent address, insists on a +special preparation for the hereditary rulers who sit in Parliament; +and, if those who are to rule mind need this, how much more do they +need it who are to stamp mind, and give it its first direction! Horace +Mann shall close this chapter with one of his impressive sentences. +Says this truly great man, "If we fasten our eyes upon the effects +which education may throw forward into immortal destinies, it is then +that we are awed, amazed, overpowered, by the thought that we have +been placed in a system where the soul's eternal flight may be made +higher or lower by those who plume its tender wings, and direct its +early course. Such is the magnitude, the transcendence, of this +subject." + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY. + + +Some persons have asked, after hearing or reading the foregoing +suggestions, "Do not _men_ also work too much and read too +little? Is not the influence of _fathers_ on their children to be +considered? Should not _fathers_ be educated for their vocation?" +To these questions there can be but one answer. Yes! and the yes +cannot be too emphatic. But the paper which formed the nucleus of +these chapters was written by a woman at the request of women, to be +read before a woman's club assembled to consider the question, "How +shall the mother obtain culture?" The very fact that such a question +had suggested itself to them, shows that women feel the need of more +than their present opportunities for culture. If men feel this need, +there is nothing to prevent them from assembling to discuss their +unsatisfactory condition, to devise ways of improving it, to consider +their responsibilities, and to inquire how they shall best qualify +themselves to fulfil the duties of their vocation. The writer is under +the impression that men's clubs do not meet especially with a view to +such discussions. + +The following paragraphs comprise the first part of a letter published +in "The New York Tribune." + +"These letters will speak to the hearts of thousands of women all +through the country, and particularly to the women "out West," as they +have already to my own. This problem has been revolved in my mind +again and again, but no clew has appeared by which to solve it; and I +have laid it down hopelessly, feeling that there is no alternative but +to submit and carry the burden as long as strength endures, and seeing +no outlook for the future but in a brief period of old age, when care +and labor must come on younger shoulders. + +"I want to speak only of the condition of women with whom I am best +acquainted,--the wives of farmers in this part of Illinois. Many +instances I have known of women who received in the East an education +in some cases superior to that of their husbands, but a life of +constant care and drudgery has caused them to lose, instead of gain in +mental culture, while the husbands have grown away from them; and it +is only in subjects of a lower nature that they have a common +interest. A man, in his every-day intercourse with other men, and his +business calls into all kinds of places and scenes, must be a fool not +to receive new ideas, not to become more intelligent on many subjects. +But what can be expected of the wife, almost always at home in the +isolated farm-house, in a sparsely settled community, and if poor and +struggling with debt, as many are, with no reading except, one or two +newspapers? If she had a library of books, it would make but little +difference, for she has no time to read them. All through the Western +country there is an absolute dearth of women's "help." "A girl" can +hardly be obtained for love or money. Girls in towns or cities will +not go into the country, and country girls are too independent. If +they have a father's house, they will not leave it for any length of +time, as actual want is not known here in the country. Within a radius +of five miles in every direction from my home, where I have lived +eight years, I have never known or heard of a family or person +suffering for any thing to eat, drink, or wear; and have never had a +call for help in that direction. A house-mother of my acquaintance, +whose husband owns a "section" farm, suffers much from illness, and +has a large family, yet for months has been without any help in her +work but that of her little girls,--the oldest not over +twelve,--simply because she could not get a servant. The farmers +themselves are under less necessity to labor than in many other parts +of the country. Farms are comparatively large, and produce large +crops, and it pays them to hire laborers. Many farmers work in the +field very little, while the wife and mother does the housework not +only for her own family, but for from one to three laborers. During +the rush of crop raising and harvesting, from April to August, she +must be up at four in the morning, and she cannot have her supper +until the farm work is all done; and by the time her children are put +to bed, the milk cared for, and dishes washed, it is nine o'clock or +after. It is hard for a woman who is hungry for reading to see how +much leisure even "hired men" have to read,--their winter and rainy +days, their long noonings and evenings, and odd bits of time, while +she has comparatively none." + +It seems, then, that it is with women as with men: at the West too few +workers for the work, at the East too little work for the workers. +Now, in the case of the men, there is a regularly organized plan to +bring the workers to the work. Laborers are taken from the East where +they stand in each other's way, and carried to the West where their +services are needed. Why not have some arrangement of this kind for +the women? In the present condition of things, destitute women and +girls congregate in our cities, and in dull seasons depend on charity +for their daily food. In Boston, during the last winter, this +charitable feeding was reduced to a system, and, according to +published reports, immense numbers were thus supplied with food. It +seems a pity that women and girls should starve or live on charity in +our cities, while so many families in the West are suffering for their +help. Can there not be some concerted plan between these widely +separated sections of the country whereby at least a portion of our +destitute ones can be conveyed to the West, and there provided with +comfortable homes? + +By private letters received from "Tribune" readers living in different +parts of the country, it appears that many thoughtful people are +considering our problem, and devising ways of solving it. One of these +letters says, "You sprinkle rose water where you should pour +aquafortis. You say husbands '_don't know_' that their wives are +overworked. The truth is, they don't care." The writer recommends that +the laws be so altered as to make second marriages illegal, assuming +that, if a man could have only one wife, he would take good care of +that one. This is an unpleasant view of the case, and would not be +presented here, only that, from the earnest downrightness of the +letter, it seems probable that its writer speaks from knowledge, and +represents a class,--a small one, let us hope. + +Three private letters, coming one from the South, one from the East, +and one from the West, declare that woman's present state of +invalidism and thraldom to labor is occasioned by the too frequent +recurrence of the duties and exhaustive demands of maternity. The +writers of the letters affirm, that, in these matters, women are often +made the slaves of sensual husbands, and earnestly entreat that this +shall be mentioned among the "causes of the present state of things." + +The only sure and lasting remedy for the above-mentioned evils, and +others similar to them, is a wise education. When man is wisely +educated, and not till then, will he have a proper consideration for +woman. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Domestic Problem, by Abby Morton Diaz + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + +***** This file should be named 6704-8.txt or 6704-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/6/7/0/6704/ + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + +Title: A Domestic Problem + +Author: Abby Morton Diaz + +Posting Date: October 13, 2014 [EBook #6704] +Release Date: October, 2004 +First Posted: January 17, 2003 + + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + + + + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. This file was produced from +images generously made available by the CWRU Preservation +Department Digital Library. + + + + + + + + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + + + +_Work and Culture in the Household_ + + +by + +MRS. A. M. DIAZ + +AUTHOR OF "THE SCHOOLMASTER'S TRUNK," ETC. + +1895 + + + +CONTENTS. + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION." + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE. + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + +_WORK AND CULTURE IN THE HOUSEHOLD_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +Our problem is this: How may woman enjoy the delights of culture, and +at the same time fulfil her duties to family and household? Perhaps it +is not assuming too much to say, that, in making known the existence +of such a problem, we have already taken the first step toward its +solution, just as a ship's crew in distress take the first step toward +relief by making a signal which calls attention to their needs. + +The next step--after having, as we may say, set our flag at +half-mast--is one which, if all we hear be true, should come easily to +women in council, namely, talking. And talking we must have, even if, +as in the social game called "Throwing Light," much of it is done at a +venture. In that interesting little game, after a few hints have been +given concerning "the word," different members of the company begin at +once to talk about it, and think about it, and suggest and hazard +descriptive remarks, according to the idea each has formed of it; that +is, they try, though in the dark, to "throw light." As the interest +increases, the excitement becomes intense. Many of the ideas expressed +are absurdly wide of the mark, yet even these help to show what the +answer is not; and often, by their coming in contact, a light is +struck which helps amazingly. And so, in regard to our problem, we +have the hints; then why not begin at once to think about it, and talk +about it, and suggest, and guess, and throw light with all our might? +No matter if we even get excited, say absurd things, say utterly +preposterous things, make blunders. Blunders are to be expected. Let +them fly right and left; by hitting together right smartly they may +strike out sparks which shall help us find our way. + +We all have heard of the frank country girl who said to her bashful +lover, "Do say something, if it isn't quite so bright!" This, +doubtless, is what every thoughtful woman, if she expressed the +sincere desire of her heart regarding our perplexing question, would +say to all other women; and it is to comply with that wish, partly +expressed to me, that I have gathered up from chance observation, +chance reading, and hearsay, some ideas bearing on the subject. +Suppose we begin by looking about us, and making clear to our minds +just what this state of things is, which, because it hinders culture, +many deem so unsatisfactory. After that, we will consider its causes, +reasons for changing it, and the way or ways out of it. + +A few, a very few, of our women are able to live and move and have +their being literally regardless of expense. These can buy of skilled +assistants and competent supervisors, whole lifetimes of leisure; with +these, therefore, our problem has no concern. The larger class, the +immense majority, either do their work themselves, or attend +personally to its being done by others; "others" signifying that +inefficient, untrustworthy, unstable horde who come fresh from their +training in peat-bog and meadow, to cook our dinners, take care of our +china dishes, and adjust the nice little internal arrangements of our +dwellings. + +Observing closely the lives of the immense majority, I think we shall +see, that, in conducting their household affairs, the object they have +in view is one and the same. I think we shall see that they all +strive, some by their own labors wholly, the rest by covering over and +piecing out the shortcomings of "help," to present a smooth, agreeable +surface to husbands and company. This smooth, agreeable surface may be +compared to a piece of mosaic work composed of many parts. Of the +almost infinite number of those parts, and of the time, skill, and +labor required to adjust them, it hath not entered, it cannot enter, +into the heart of man to conceive. + +I wonder how long it would take to name, just merely to name, all the +duties which fall upon the woman who, to use a common phrase, and a +true one, carries on the family. Suppose we try to count them, one by +one. Doing this will help to give us that clear view of the present +state of things which it is our present object to obtain; though the +idea reminds me of what the children used to say when I was a child, +"If you count the stars you'll drop down dead,"--a saying founded, +probably, on the vastness of the undertaking compared with human +endurance. It certainly cannot be called trivial to enumerate the +duties to which woman consecrates so large a portion of her life, +especially when we remember that into each and all of these duties she +has to carry her mind. Where woman's mind must go, woman's mind or +man's mind, should not scorn to follow. So let us make the attempt; +and we need not stand upon the order of our counting, but begin +anywhere. + +Setting tables; clearing them off; keeping lamps or gas-fixtures in +order; polishing stoves, knives, silverware, tinware, faucets, knobs, +&c.; washing and wiping dishes; taking care of food left at meals; +sweeping, including the grand Friday sweep, the limited daily sweep, +and the oft-recurring dustpan sweep; cleaning paint; washing +looking-glasses, windows, window-curtains; canning and preserving +fruit; making sauces and jellies, and "catchups" and pickles; making +and baking bread, cake, pies, puddings; cooking meats and vegetables; +keeping in nice order beds, bedding, and bedchambers; arranging +furniture, dusting, and "picking up;" setting forth, at their due +times and in due order, the three meals; washing the clothes; ironing, +including doing up shirts and other "starched things;" taking care of +the baby, night and day; washing and dressing children, and regulating +their behavior, and making or getting made, their clothing, and seeing +that the same is in good repair, in good taste, spotless from dirt, +and suited both to the weather and the occasion; doing for herself +what her own personal needs require; arranging flowers; entertaining +company; nursing the sick; "letting down" and "letting out" to suit +the growing ones; patching, darning, knitting, crocheting, braiding, +quilting,--but let us remember the warning of the old saying, and +forbear in time. + +This, however, is only a general enumeration. This is counting the +stars by constellations. Examining closely these items: we shall find +them made up each of a number of smaller items, and each of these +again of items still smaller. What seem homogeneous are heterogeneous; +what seem simple are complex. Make a loaf of bread. That has a simple +sound, yet the process is complex. First, hops, potatoes, flour, +sugar, water, salt, in right proportions for the yeast. The yeast for +raising the yeast must be in just the right condition, and added when +the mixture is of just the right temperature. In "mixing up" bread, +the temperature of the atmosphere must be considered, the temperature +of the water, the situation of the dough. The dough must rise quickly, +must rise just enough and no more, must be baked in an oven just hot +enough and no hotter, and must be "tended" while baking. + +Try clearing off tables. Remove food from platters, care for the +remnants, see that nothing is wasted, scrape well every plate, arrange +in piles, carry out, wash in soap and water, rinse in clear water, +polish with dry cloth, set away in their places,--three times a day. + +Taking care of the baby frequently implies carrying the child on one +arm while working with the other, and this often after nights made +sleepless by its "worrying." "I've done many a baking with a child on +my hip," said a farmer's wife in my hearing. + +But try now the humblest of household duties, one that passes for just +nothing at all; try dusting. "Take a cloth, and brush the dust +off,"--stated in this general way, how easy a process it seems! The +particular interpretation, is that you move, wipe, and replace every +article in the room, from the piano down to the tiniest ornament; that +you "take a cloth," and go over every inch of accessible surface, +including panelling, mop-boards, window frames and sashes, +looking-glass-frames, picture-frames and cords, gas or lamp fixtures; +reaching up, tiptoeing, climbing, stooping, kneeling, taking care that +not even in the remotest corner shall appear one inch of undusted +surface which any slippered individual, leaning back in his arm-chair, +can spy out. + +These are only a few examples; but a little observation and an +exceedingly little experience will show the curious inquirer that +there is scarcely one of the apparently simple household operations +which cannot be resolved and re-resolved into minute component parts. +Thus dusting, which seems at first to consist of simply a few brushes +with a cloth or bunch of feathers, when analyzed once, is found to +imply the careful wiping of every article in the room, and of all the +woodwork; analyzed again, it implies following the marks of the +cabinet-maker's tools in every bit of carving and grooving; analyzed +again, introducing a pointed stick under the cloth in turning corners. +In fact, the investigator of household duties must do as does a +distinguished scientist in analyzing matter,--"continue the process of +dividing as long as the parts can be discerned," and then "prolong the +vision backward across the boundary of experimental evidence." And, if +brave enough to attempt to count them, he must bear in mind that what +appear to be blank intervals, or blurred, nebulous spaces, are, in +reality, filled in with innumerable little duties which, through the +glass of observation, may be discerned quite plainly. Let him also +bear in mind, that these household duties must be done over and over, +and over and over, and as well, each time, as if done to last forever; +and, above all, that they every one require mind. + +Many a common saying proves this last point. "Put your mind on your +work." "Your mind must be where your work is." "She's a good hand to +take hold, but she hasn't any calculation." "She doesn't know how to +forecast her work." "She doesn't know how to forelay." "Nancy's +gittin' past carryin' her mind inter her work. Wal, I remember when I +begun to git past carryin' my mind inter my work," said an old woman +of ninety, speaking of her sixty-years-old daughter. The old couplet, + + "Man works from rise till set of sun, + But woman's work is never done,"-- + +tells the truth. "Woman's work," as now arranged, is so varied, so +all-embracing, that it cannot be "done." For every odd moment some +duty lies in wait. And it is generally the case, that these multi-form +duties press for performance, crowds of them at once. "So many things +to be done right off, that I don't know which to take hold of first." +"'Tis just as much as I can do to keep my head above water." "Oh, +dear! I can't see through!" "My work drives me." "I never know what +'tis not to feel hurried." "The things I can't get done tire me more +than the things I do." Such remarks have a meaning. + +And those who keep "a girl" have almost equal difficulty in always +presenting the smooth, agreeable surface just now spoken of. With the +greater ability to hire help comes usually the desire to live in more +expensive houses, and to furnish the same with more costly furniture. +Every article added is a care added, and the nicer the article the +nicer the care required. More, also, is demanded of these in the way +of appearance, style, and social civilities; and the wear and tear of +superintending "a girl" should by no means be forgotten. At any rate, +the complaint, "no time to read," is frequent among women, and is not +confined to any one class. + +We see, then, that in the present state of things it is impossible for +woman--that is, the family woman, the house-mother--to enjoy the +delights of culture. External activities, especially the two +insatiable, all-devouring ones which know neither end nor +beginning,--housework and sewing-work,--these demand her time, her +energies, in short, demand herself,--the whole of her. Yes, the whole, +and more too; there is not enough of her to go round. There might +possibly be enough, and even something left to spend on culture, were +she in sound physical condition; but, alas! a healthy woman is +scarcely to be found. This point, namely, the prevailing invalidism of +woman, will come up for consideration by and by, when we inquire into +the causes of the present state of things. It is none too early, +however, to make a note of what some physicians say in regard to it. +"Half of all who are born," says one medical writer, "die under twenty +years of age; while four-fifths of all who reach that age, and die +before another score, owe their death to causes which were originated +in their teens. This is a fact of startling import to fathers and +mothers, and shows a fearful responsibility." Another medical writer +says, "Beside the loss of so many children (nearly twenty-five per +cent), society suffers seriously from those who survive, their health +being irremediably injured while they are still infants.... Ignorance +and injudicious nursery management lie at the root of this evil." + +We must be sure not to forget that this prevailing invalidism of +women, which is one hinderance to their obtaining culture, can be +traced directly back to the ignorance of mothers, for this point has +an important bearing on the solution of our problem. + + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +The question, How may work and culture be combined? was recently +submitted, in my hearing, to a highly intelligent lady. She answered +with a sigh, "It can't be done. I've tried it; but, as things are now, +it can't be done." By "as things are now" she meant, with the +established ideas regarding dress, food, appearance, style, and the +objects for which woman should spend her time and herself. Suppose we +investigate the causes of the present state of things, which, as being +a hinderance to culture, is to us so unsatisfactory. A little +reflection will enable us to discover several. Chief among them all, I +think, is one which may require close inspection before it is +recognized to be such. It seems to me that the great underlying +cause--the cause of all the other causes--is the want of insight, the +unenlightemnent, which prevails concerning, not what woman's mission +is, but the ways and means by which she is to accomplish it. Let us +consider this. + +Those who claim the right of defining it never can say often enough +that the true, mission of woman is to train up her children rightly, +and to make home happy; and no doubt we all agree with them. But have +we, or have they, a full sense of what woman requires to fit her even +for the first of these duties? Suppose a philosopher in disguise on a +tour of observation from some distant isle or planet should favor us +with a visit. He finds himself, we will say, on a spot not a hundred +miles from New York or Boston or Chicago. Among the objects which +attract his attention are the little children drawn along in their +little chaises. + +"Are these beautiful creatures of any value?" he asks of a bystander. + +"Certainly. They are the hope of the country. They will grow up into +men and women who will take our places." + +"I suppose there is no danger of their growing up any other than the +right kind of men and women, such as your country needs?" + +"On the contrary, there is every danger. Evil influences surround them +from their birth. These beautiful creatures have in them the +possibilities of becoming mean, base, corrupt, treacherous, deceitful, +cruel, false, revengeful; of becoming, in fact, unworthy and repulsive +in many ways. Why, all our criminals, our drunkards, liars, thieves, +burglars, murderers, were once innocent little children like these!" + +"And whether these will become like those, or not, depends on chance?" + +"Oh, no! It depends largely on training, especially on early training. +Children are like wax to receive impressions, like marble to retain +them." + +"Are they constituted pretty nearly alike, so that the treatment which +is best for one is best for all?" + +"By no means. Even those in the same family are often extremely +unlike. They have different temperaments, dispositions, propensities. +Some require urging, others checking. Some do better with praise, +others without; the same of blame. It requires thought and discernment +to know what words to speak, how many to speak, and when to speak +them. In fact, a child's nature is a piece of delicate, complex +machinery, and each one requires a separate study; for, as its springs +of action are concealed, the operator is liable at any time to touch +the wrong one." + +"And mistakes here will affect a child through its whole lifetime?" + +"They will affect it through all eternity." "But who among you dare +make these early impressions which are to be so enduring? Who are the +operators on these delicate and complex pieces of mental machinery?" + +"Oh! the mothers always have the care of the children. This is their +mission,--the chief duty of their lives." + +"But how judicious, how comprehensive, must be the course of education +which will fit a person for such an office!" + +"Do you think so? Hem! Well, it is not generally considered that a +woman who is going to marry and settle down to family life needs much +education." + +"You mean, doubtless, that she only receives the special instruction +which her vocation requires." + +"Special instruction?" + +"Yes. If woman's special vocation is the training of children, of +course she is educated specially with a view to that vocation." + +"Well, I never heard of such a kind of education. But here is one of +our young mothers: she can tell you all about it." + +We will suppose, now, that our philosopher is left with the young +mother, who names over what she learned at the "institute." + +"And the training of children--moral, intellectual, and physical--was +no doubt made a prominent subject of consideration." + +"Training of children? Oh, no! That would have been a curious kind of +study." + +"Where, then, were you prepared for the duties of your mission?" + +"What mission do you mean?" + +"Your mission of child-training." + +"I had no preparation." + +"No preparation? But are you acquainted with the different +temperaments a child may have, and the different combinations of them? +Are you competent to the direction and culture of the intellectual and +moral nature? Have you skill to touch the hidden springs of action? +Have you, thus uninstructed, the power, the knowledge, the wisdom, +requisite for guiding that mighty force, a child's soul?" + +"Alas! there is hardly a day that I do not feel my ignorance on all +these points." + +"Are there no sources from which knowledge may be obtained? There must +be books written on these subjects." + +"Possibly; but I have no time to read them." + +"No time?--no time to prepare for your chief mission?" + +"It is our mission only in print. In real life it plays an extremely +subordinate part." + +"What, then, in real life, is your mission?" + +"Chiefly cooking and sewing." + +"Your husband, then, does not share the common belief in regard to +woman's chief duty." + +"Oh, yes! I have heard him express it many a time; though I don't +think he comprehends what a woman needs in order to do her duty by her +children. But he loves them dearly. If one should die he would be +heart-broken." + +"Is it a common thing here for children to die?" + +"I am grieved to say that nearly one-fourth die in infancy." + +"And those who live,--do they grow up in full health and vigor?" + +"Oh, indeed they do not! Why, look at our crowded hospitals! Look at +the apothecaries' shops at almost, every corner. Look at the +advertisements of medicines. Don't you think there's meaning in these, +and a meaning in the long rows of five-story swell-front houses +occupied by physicians, and a meaning in the people themselves? +There's scarcely one of them but has some ailment." + +"But is this matter of health subject to no laws?" + +"The phrase, 'laws of health,' is a familiar one, but I don't know +what those laws are." "Mothers, then, are not in the habit of teaching +them to their children?" + +"They are not themselves acquainted with them." + +"Perhaps this astonishing ignorance has something to do with the +fearful mortality among infants. Do not husbands provide their wives +with books and other means of information on this subject?" + +"Generally speaking, they do nothing of the kind." + +"And does not the subject of hygienic laws, as applied to the rearing +of children, come into the courses of study laid out for young women!" + +"No, indeed. Oh, how I wish it had!--and those other matters you +mentioned. I would give up every thing else I ever learned for the +sake of knowing how to bring up my children, and how to keep them in +health." + +"The presidents and professors of your educational institutions,--do +they share the common belief as to woman's mission?" + +"Oh, yes! They all say that the chief business of woman is to train up +her children." + +(_Philosopher's solo_.) + +"There seems to be blindness and stupidity somewhere among these +people. From what they say of the difficulty of bringing up their +children, it must take an archangel to do it rightly; still they do +not think a woman who is married and settles down to family life needs +much education! Moreover, in educating young women, that which is +universally acknowledged to be the chief business of their lives +receives not the least attention." + +If our philosopher continued his inquiries into the manners and +customs of our country, he must have felt greatly encouraged; for he +would have found that it is only in this one direction that we show +such blindness and stupidity. He would have found that in every other +occupation we demand preparation. The individual who builds our ships, +cuts our coats, manufactures our watches, superintends our machinery, +takes charge of our cattle, our trees, our flowers, must know how, +must have been especially prepared for his calling. It is only +character-moulding, only shaping the destinies of immortal beings, for +which we demand neither preparation nor a knowledge of the business. +It is only of our children that we are resigned to lose nearly +one-fourth by death, "owing to ignorance and injudicious nursery +management." Were this rate of mortality declared to exist among our +domestic animals, the community would be aroused at once. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +Perhaps some day the community may come to perceive that woman +requires for her vocation what the teacher, the preacher, the lawyer, +and the physician, require for theirs; namely, special preparation and +general culture. The first, because every vocation demands special +preparation; and the second, because, to satisfy the requirements of +young minds, she will need to draw from almost every kind of +knowledge. And we must remember here, that the advantages derived from +culture are not wholly an intellectual gain. We get from hooks and +other sources of culture not merely what informs the mind, but that +which warms the heart, quickens the sympathies, strengthens the +understanding; get clearness and breadth of vision, get refining and +ennobling influences, get wisdom in its truest and most comprehensive +sense; and all of these, the last more than all, a mother needs for +her high calling. That it is a high calling, we have high authority to +show. Dr. Channing says, "No office can compare in importance with +that of training a child." Yet the office is assumed without +preparation. + +Herbert Spencer asks, in view of this omission, "What is to be +expected when one of the most intricate of problems is undertaken by +those who have given scarcely a thought as to the principles on which +its solution depends? Is the unfolding of a human being so simple a +process that any one may superintend and regulate it with no +preparation whatever?... Is it not madness to make no provision for +such a task?" + +Horace Mann speaks out plainly, and straight to the point. "If she is +to prepare a refection of cakes, she fails not to examine some +cookery-book or some manuscript receipt, lest she should convert her +rich ingredients into unpalatable compounds; but without ever having +read one book upon the subject of education, without ever having +sought one conversation with an intelligent person upon it, she +undertakes so to mingle the earthly and celestial elements of +instruction for that child's soul that he shall be fitted to discharge +all duties below, and to enjoy all blessings above." And again, +"Influences imperceptible in childhood, work out more and more broadly +into beauty or deformity in after life. No unskilful hand should ever +play upon a harp where the tones are left forever in the strings." + +In a newspaper I find this amusingly significant sentence: +"Truthfully, indeed, do the Papists boast that the Episcopal Church is +training-ground for Rome. The female mind is frequently enticed by +display of vestments and music; and, if the Ritualists can pervert the +mothers, they know that the next generation is theirs." This is +significant, because it signifies that, however weak and easy of +enticement the "female mind" may be, it has a mighty power to +influence the young. + +But we can show not only opinions and prophecies, but the results of +actual scientific experiments. A recent number of "The Popular Science +Monthly" contains an account of experiments made in Jamaica upon the +mental capacity for learning of the different races there existing. +The experimenter found, he says, "unequal speed," but saw "nothing +which can be unmistakably referred to difference of race. The rate of +improvement is due almost entirely to the relative elevation of the +home circle in which the children live. Those who are restricted to +the narrowest gauge of intellectual exercise live in such a material +and coarse medium that their mental faculties remain slumbering; while +those who hear at home of many things, and are brought up to +intellectual employments, show a corresponding proficiency in +learning." + +This, and the editor's comments, bear directly on our side, that is to +say, the culture side. The editor says it is inevitable "that the +medium in which the child is habitually immersed, and by which it is +continually and unconsciously impressed, should have much greater +value in the formation of mental character than the mere lesson +experiences of school. Home education is, after all, the great fact; +and it is domestic influences by which the characters of children are +formed. Where men are exhausted by business, and women are exhausted +by society (or other means), we may be pretty sure that but little can +be done to shape and conduct the home with a reference to the higher +mental needs of the children who live in it." + +Now, who, more than any one, "shapes and conducts the home"? Who +creates these "domestic influences," this "medium in which the child +is habitually immersed"? Woman. In the name of common sense, then, +throw open to woman every avenue of knowledge. Surround her with all +that will elevate and refine. Give her the highest, broadest, truest +culture. Give her chances to draw inspiration from the beautiful in +nature and in art. And, above all, insure her some respite from labor, +and some tranquillity. Unless these conditions are observed, "but +little can be done to shape and conduct the home with reference to the +higher mental needs of the children who live in it." + +I once heard "Grace Greenwood" tell a little story which ought to come +in here, for our own object is to make out as strong a case as we +possibly can. We want to prove that mothers must have culture because +they are mothers. We want to show it to be absolutely necessary for +woman, in the accomplishment of her acknowledged mission. When this +fact is recognized, then culture will take rank with essentials, and +receive attention as such. + +"Grace Greenwood" said that a friend of hers, a teacher "out West," +had in her school four or five children from one family. The parents +were poor, ignorant, and of the kind commonly called low, coarse sort +of people. The children, with one exception, were stupid, +rough-mannered, and depraved. The one exception, a little girl, showed +such refinement, appreciation, and quickness of apprehension, that the +teacher at last asked the mother if she could account for the striking +difference between this child and its brothers and sisters. The mother +could not. The children had been brought up together there in that +lonely place, had been treated alike, and had never been separated. +She knew the little girl was very different from her brothers and +sisters, but knew not the reason why. The teacher then asked, "Was +there any thing in your mode of life for the months preceding her +birth, that there was not in the corresponding time before the births +of the others?" The mother at first answered decidedly that there was +nothing; but after thinking a few moments said, "Well, there was one, +a very small thing, but that couldn't have had any thing to do with +the matter. One day a peddler came along; and among his books was a +pretty, red-covered poetry book, and I wanted it bad. But my husband +said he couldn't afford it, and the peddler went off. I couldn't get +that book out of my mind; and in the night I took some of my own +money, and travelled on foot to the next town, found the peddler, +bought the book, and got back before morning, and was never missed +from the house. That book was the greatest comfort to me that ever +was. I read it over and over, up to the day my child was born." + +Also would come in well here that oft-told story of a pauper named +"Margaret," who was once "set adrift in a village of the county ... +and left to grow up as best she could, and from whom have descended +two hundred criminals. The whole number of this girl's descendants, +through six generations, is nine hundred; and besides the 'two +hundred' a large number have been idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, +lunatics, and paupers." + +Friends, to say nothing of higher motives, would it not be good policy +to educate wisely every girl in the country? Are not mothers, as +child-trainers, in absolute need of true culture? In cases where +families depend on the labor of their girls, perhaps the State would +make a saving even by compensating these families for the loss of such +labor. Perhaps it would be cheaper, even in a pecuniary sense, for the +State to do this, than to support reformatory establishments, prisons, +almshouses, and insane-asylums, with their necessary retinues of +officials. Institutions in which these girls were educated might be +made self-supporting, and the course of instruction might include +different kinds of handicraft. + +It was poor economy for the State to let that pauper "grow up as best +she could." It would probably have been money in the State's pocket +had it surrounded "Margaret" in her early childhood with the choicest +productions of art, engaged competent teachers to instruct her in the +solid branches, in the accomplishments, in hygiene, in the principles +and practice of integrity, and then have given her particular +instruction in all matters connected with the training of children. +And had she developed a remarkable taste for painting, for modelling, +or for music, the State could better have afforded even sending her to +Italy, than to have taken care of those "two hundred criminals," +besides "a large number" of "idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, lunatics, +and paupers." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION."--RUFFLES VERSUS READING.--THE +CULTIVATION OF THE FINGERS. + + +Let us leave for a while this matter of child-training, and consider +the other part of woman's mission,--namely, "making home happy." It +would seem that even for this the wife should be at least the equal of +her husband in culture, in order that the two may be in sympathy. When +a loving couple marry, they unite their interests, and it is in this +union of interests that they find happiness. We often hear from a wife +or a husband remarks like these: "I only half enjoyed it, because he +(or she) wasn't there;" "It will be no pleasure to me unless he (or +she) is there too;" "The company were charming, but still I felt +lonesome there without him (or her)." The phrase "half enjoy" gives +the idea; for a sympathetic couple are to such a degree one that a +pleasure which comes to either singly can only be half enjoyed, and +even this half-joy is lessened by the consciousness of what the other +is losing. In a rather sarcastic article, taken from an English +magazine, occur a few sentences which illustrate this point very well. +The writer is describing a honeymoon:-- + +"The real difficulty is to be entertaining. The one thirst of the +young bride is for amusement, and she has no idea of amusing herself. +It is diverting to see the spouse of this ideal creature wend his way +to the lending library, after a week of idealism, and the relief with +which he carries home a novel. How often, in expectation, has he +framed to himself imaginary talks,--talk brighter and wittier than +that of the friends he forsakes! But conversation is difficult in the +case of a refined creature who is as ignorant as a Hottentot. He +begins with the new Miltonic poem, and finds she has never looked into +'Paradise Lost.' He plunges into the Reform Bill; but she knows +nothing of politics, and has never read a leading article in her life. +Then she tries him, in her turn, and floods him with the dead chat of +the town and an ocean of family tattle. He finds himself shut up for +weeks with a creature who takes an interest in nothing but Uncle +Crosspatch's temper and the scandal about Lady X. Little by little the +absolute pettiness, the dense dulness, of woman's life, breaks on the +disenchanted devotee. His deity is without occupation, without +thought, without resources. He has a faint faith in her finer +sensibility, in her poetic nature: he fetches his Tennyson from his +carpet-bag, and wastes 'In Memoriam' on a critic who pronounces it +pretty!" + +In cases of this kind, the half-joy is strikingly apparent. We see +that a husband possessing culture is likely to be lonesome among his +poets and his poetry, his works of reform, and his lofty ideas, +unless--she is there too. + +If it be said that learned women are prone to think lightly of home +comforts and home duties, to despise physical labor, to look down on +the ignorant, let us hasten to reply that learning is not culture, and +that we want not learned mothers, but enlightened mothers, wisely +educated mothers. And let us steadfastly and perseveringly assert that +enlightenment and a wise education are essential to the accomplishment +of the mother's mission. When the housefather feels the truth of this, +then shall we see him bringing home every publication he can lay his +hands on which treats intelligently of mental, moral, or physical +training. Then shall we hear him saying to the house-mother, "Cease, I +pray you, this ever-lasting toil. Read, study, rest. With your solemn +responsibilities, it is madness thus to spend yourself, thus to waste +yourself." In his home shall the true essentials assume that position +which is theirs by right, and certain occupations connected with that +clamorous square inch of surface in the upper part of the mouth shall +receive only their due share of attention. For in one way or another, +either by lessening the work or by hiring workers, the mother shall +have her leisure. + +And what will women, what will the house-mothers, do when they feel +this truth? Certainly not as they now do. Now it is their custom to +fill in every chink and crevice of leisure time with sewing. "Look," +said a young mother to me: "I made all these myself, when holding the +baby, or by sitting up nights." They were children's clothes, +beautifully made, and literally covered with ruffles and embroidery. +Oh the thousands of stitches! The ruffles ran up and down, and over +and across, and three times round. Being white, the garments were of +course changed daily. In the intervals of baby-tending, the mother +snatched a few minutes here and a few minutes there to starch, iron, +flute, or crimp a ruffle, or to finish off a dress of her own. This +"finishing off" was carried on for weeks. When her baby was asleep, or +was good, or had its little ruffles all fluted, and its little +sister's little ruffles were all fluted, then would she seize the +opportunity to stitch, to plait, to flounce, to pucker, and to braid. +Wherever a hand's breadth of the original material was left visible, +some bow, or band, or queer device, was fashioned and sewed on. This +zealous individual, by improving every moment, by sitting up nights, +by working with the baby across her lap, accomplished her task. The +dress was finished, and worn with unutterable complacency. It is this +last part which is the worst part. They have no misgivings, these +mothers. They expect your warm approval. "I can't get a minute's time +to read," said this industrious person; and, on another occasion, +"I'll own up, I don't know any thing about taking care of children." +Swift, speaking of women, said that they "employ more thought, memory, +and application to become fools than would serve to make them wise and +useful;" and perhaps he spoke truly. For suppose this young mother had +been as eager to gain ideas as she was to accomplish a bias band, a +French fold, or a flounce. Suppose that, in the intervals of +baby-tending, instead of fluting her little girls' ruffles and +embroidering their garments, she had tried to snatch some information +which would help her in the bringing up of those little girls. The +truth is, mothers take their leisure time for what seems to them to be +first in importance. It is easy to see what they consider essentials, +and what, from them, children are learning to consider essentials. The +"knowingness" of some of our children on subjects connected with dress +is simply appalling. A girl of eight or ten summers will take you in +at a glance, from topmost plume to boot-tap, by items and +collectively, analytically and synthetically. She discourses, in +technical terms, of the fall of your drapery,--the propriety of your +trimmings, and the effect of this, that, or the other. She has a +proper appreciation of what is French in your attire, and a proper +scorn of what is not. She recognizes "real lace" in a twinkle of her +eye, and "all wool" with a touch of her finger-tips. Plainly clad +school-children are often made to suffer keenly by the cutting remarks +of other school-children sumptuously arrayed. A little girl aged six, +returning from a child's party, exclaimed, "O mamma! What do you +think? Bessie had her dress trimmed with lace, and it wasn't real!" + +The law, "No child shall walk the street in a plain dress," is just as +practically a law as if it had been enacted by the legal authorities. +Mothers obey its high behests, and dare not rebel against it. Look at +our little girls going to school, each with her tucks and ruffles. Who +"gets time" to do all that sewing? where do they get it, and at what +sacrifices? A goodly number of stitches and moments go to the making +and putting on of even one ruffle on one skirt. Think of all the +stitches and moments necessary for the making and putting of all the +ruffles on all the skirts of the several little girls often belonging +to one family! What a prospect before her has a mother of little +girls! And there is no escape, not even in common sense. A woman +considered sensible in the very highest degree will dress her little +girl like other little girls, or perish in the attempt. How many do +thus perish, or are helped to perish, we shall never know. A frail, +delicate woman said to me one day, "Oh, I do hope the fashions will +change before Sissy grows up, for I don't see how it will be possible +for me to make her clothes." You observe her submissive, law-abiding +spirit. The possibility of evading the law never even suggests itself. +There is many a feeble mother of grown and growing "Sissys" to whom +the spring or fall dressmaking appears like an avalanche coming to +overwhelm her, or a Juggernaut coming to roll over her. She asks not, +"How shall I escape?" but, "How shall I endure?" Let her console +herself. These semi-annual experiences are all "mission." All sewing is +"mission;" all cooking is "mission." It matters not what she cooks, +nor what she sews. "Domestic," and worthy all praise, does the +community consider that woman who keeps her hands employed, and is +bodily present with her children inside the house. + +But her bodily presence, even with mother love and longing to do her +best, is not enough. There should be added two things,--knowledge and +wisdom. These, however, she does not have, because to obtain them are +needed what she does not get,--leisure, tranquillity, and the various +resources and appliances of culture; also because their importance is +not felt even by herself; also because the community does not yet see +that she has need of them. And this brings us round to the point we +started from,--namely, that the present unsatisfactory state of things +is owing largely to the want of insight, or _unenlightenment_, +which prevails concerning what woman needs and must have in order +rightly to fulfil her mission. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED.--MASCULINE IDEA OF WOMAN'S WORK. + + +Another supporting cause, as we may call it, of the existing state of +things is the ignorance of mankind concerning the cost of carrying on +the family,--not the cost to themselves in money, but the cost to +woman in endurance. Of its power to exhaust her vital forces they have +not the remotest idea. Each of its little ten-minute duties seems so +trifling that to call it work appears absurd. They do not reflect that +often a dozen of these ten-minute duties must be crowded into an hour +which holds but just six ten-minutes; that her day is crowded with +these crowded hours; that consequently she can never be free from +hurry, and that constant hurry is a constant strain upon her in every +way. They themselves, they think, could do up the work in half the +time, and not feel it a bit. Scarcely a man of them but thinks the +dishes might be just rinsed off under the faucet, and stood up to dry. +Scarcely a man of them who, if this were tried, would not cast more +than inquiring glances at his trencher; for it is always what is not +done that a man sees. If one chair-round escapes dusting, it is that +chair-round which he particularly notices. In his mind then are two +ideas: one is of the whole long day, the other of that infinitesimal +undone duty. The remark visible on his countenance is this: "The whole +day, and no time to dust a chair-round!" + + "The painful warrior famoused for fight, + After a thousand victories, once foiled, + Is from the book of honor razed quite, + And all the rest forgot for which _she_ toiled." + +Many a toiling housewife, warring against untidiness, has felt the +truth of these lines, though she may not have known that the great +poet embodied it in words. + +One mistake of man's is, that he does not look upon the tidy state of +a room as a result, but as one into which, if left to itself, it would +naturally fall and remain. We know, alas! too well, that every room +not only has within itself possibilities of untidiness, but that its +constant tendency is in that direction, which tendency can only be +checked by as constant a vigilance. Again, husbands do not always seem +to understand plain English. There are certain expressions in common +use among women, which, if husbands did understand plain English, +would make them sadder and wiser men. "I'm completely used up;" "I +never know what 'tis to feel rested;" "I'm too tired to sleep;" "I'm +as tired in the morning as when I go to bed;" "Every nerve in me +throbs so that I can't go to sleep;" "The life has all gone out of +me;" "I am crazed with cares;" "The care is worse than the work;" +"Nothing keeps that woman about the house but her ambition;" "It is +the excitement of work that keeps her up." Now, how is it that a woman +works on after she is completely used up? What is the substance, the +capacity of this "ambition" on which alone she lives? A friend of +mine, in answer to a suggestion that she should stop and take a few +days' rest, said, "I don't dare to stop. If I let down, if I give way +for ever so little while, I never could go on again." Think of living +always in this state of tension! The dictionary definition of +"tension" is "a peculiar, abnormal, constrained condition of the +parts, arising from the action of antagonistic forces, in which they +endeavor to return to their natural state." Exactly. There are +thousands of women in just this condition, sustained there by the +daily pressure and excitement of hurry, and by a stern, unyielding +"must." In the treadmill of their household labor, breakfast, dinner, +and supper revolve in ceaseless course, and they _must_ step +forward to meet them. And, when more of her vitality is expended daily +than is daily renewed by food and rest, woman does, actually and +without any figure of speech, use herself up. Yes, she burns herself +for fuel, and goes down a wreck,--not always to death; often it is to +a condition made wretched by suffering, sometimes to insanity. + +I would not have believed this last had I not found it in print. In an +English magazine occurs the following passage: "Some whose eyes follow +these lines will recollect disagreeable seasons when their attention +was distracted by conflicting cures and claims; when no one thing, +however urgent, could be finished, owing to the intrusion of one or +more inevitable distractions. A continued course of such inroads on +the mind's serenity could be supported but by few intellects. Most +pitiable is the mind's state after some hours of such distracting +occupation, in which every business interferes with every other, and +none is satisfactorily accomplished. Where there is a tendency to +insanity it is sure to be developed by such an undesirable state of +things." This is fitly supplemented by a statement made in an American +magazine: "We are told that the woman's wards in the New England +insane asylums are filled with middle-aged wives--mothers--driven +there by overwork and anxiety." + +Not long since, I heard Mr. Whittier tell the story of a woman who +attempted suicide by throwing herself into the water. "Discouragement" +was the reason she assigned for committing so dreadful a +deed,--discouragement at the never-ending routine of household labor, +and from feeling herself utterly unable to go on with it. This, with +care, want of recreation, and long confinement in-doors, had probably +caused temporary insanity. + +The "never-endingness" of woman's work is something to be considered. +A wide-awake writer, speaking of husbands and wives, says, "The +out-door air, the stir, the change of ideas, the passing word for this +man or that, unconsciously refresh, and lift him from the cankering +care of work.... His work may be heavier, but it wears him on one side +only. He has his hours sacred to business to give to his brief, his +sermon, his shop. There is no drain on the rest of his faculties. She +has not a power of mind, a skill of body, which her daily life does +not draw upon. She asks nothing better of fate than that whatever +strength she has of body and mind shall be drained for her husband and +children. Now, this spirit of martyrdom is a very good thing when it +is necessary. For our part, we see no occasion for it here." This is +the point exactly. The "martyrdom," too often, is for objects not of +the highest importance. The lack of appreciation of woman's work, as +shown by man-kind in the newspapers, would be amusing, were it not +saddening. Articles, dictating with solemn pomposity "what every +married woman should be able to do," often appear in print, and these +embodiments of (masculine) wisdom editors are eager to copy. "Every +married woman should be able to cut and make her own, her husband's, +and her children's clothes." The husband reads,--aloud of course, this +time,--and nods approval. "To be sure, that would make a saving." The +wife hears, and sighs, and perhaps blames herself that on account of +her incapacity money is wasted. What the newspaper says must be true. +Perhaps by sitting up later, by getting up earlier, by hurrying more, +and by never setting her foot outside the door, she might follow this +suggestion. "Every married woman" whose boys take to reading should +snip such newspaper articles into shreds, burn them up, and bury the +ashes. + +Another cause of the present state of things is the lowness of the +standard which has been set up for woman to attain. We have glanced at +some of the things which are expected of the woman who carries on the +family. What is not expected is a point of no less significance. +Neither husbands nor company claim the right to expect, in that +smooth, agreeable surface mentioned at the beginning, the results of +mental culture. They may be gratified at finding them; but so long as +the woman is amiable, thrifty, efficient, and provides three good +meals every day, they feel bound not to complain. Here are the ten +"Attributes of a Wife," as grouped by one of the world's famous +writers: note what he allots to education: "Four to good temper, two +to good sense, one to wit, one to beauty; the remaining two to be +divided among other qualities, as fortune, connection, education or +accomplishments, family, and so on. Divide these two parts as you +please, these minor proportions must all be expressed by fractions. +Not one among them is entitled to the dignity of an integer." + +The prevalent belief that woman is in some degree subordinate to man, +is rather taken for granted than expressly taught, as witness a +certain kind of legend often told to young girls: "Once upon a time a +young man, visiting a strange house, saw a damsel putting dough into +pans, and saw that the dough which stuck to the platter was left +sticking there; whereupon the young man said, 'This is not the wife +for me.'" In another house he sees a damsel who leaves not the dough +which sticks to the platter; and he says, "This is the wife for me." +Another young man offers to successive maidens a skein of tangled silk +to wind. The first says, "I can't;" the second tries, and gives up; +the third makes a quick job of it with her scissors; the fourth spends +hours in patiently, untangling, and is chosen. Now, what shows the +state of public sentiment is the fact that in none of these legends is +it intimated that the young man was fortunate in securing a thrifty or +a patient wife. It was the thrifty or patient young woman who was +fortunate in being selected by a young man,--by any young man; for the +character of the youth is never stated. There is an inference, also, +in the second one given, that the "hours" of a young woman can be +employed to no better purpose than that of untangling a skein of silk. +All this is throwing light on our problem, for so long as so much is +expected of woman physically, and so little in the way of mental +acquirements; so long as it is taken for granted that she is a +subordinate being, that to contribute to the physical comfort and +pleasure of man, and gain his approval, are the highest purposes of +her existence,--it will not be considered essential that she should +acquire culture. These aims are by no means unimportant ones, or +unworthy ones; but are they in all cases the highest a woman should +possess? + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE.--THE EARLY TRAINING OP WOMEN.--COMMON +FALLACIES.--THE EDUCATION OF MOTHERS. + + +Having glanced at the present state of things, and at some of its +causes, let us show reasons why it should be changed. + +A sufficient reason is, because it dwarfs the intellect, ruins the +health, and shortens the lives, of so many women. Another reason is, +that whereas the husband may keep himself informed on matters of +general interest in literature, art, science, and progress, while the +wife must give her mind to domestic activities, there is danger of the +two growing apart, which growing apart is destructive of that perfect +sympathy so essential to the happiness of married life. A certain +librarian remarked. "If a man wants a book for himself, I pick out a +solid work; if for his wife, a somewhat light and trifling one." +Third, because human beings have so much in common, are so closely +connected, that the good of all requires the good of each, and each of +all. And here is where the shortsightedness of the aristocracy of +wealth and the aristocracy of sex are strikingly apparent. They fail +to see that the very inferiority of what are called the inferior +classes re-acts on the superior classes. We all know how it is in the +human body. An injury to one small bone in the foot may cause distress +which shall be felt "all over," and shall disturb the operations of +the lordly brain itself. So in the body social. The wealthy and +refined, into whose luxurious dwellings enters no unsightly, no +uncleanly object, may say to themselves, "Never mind those poor +wretches down at the other end, huddled together in their filthy +tenements. They are ignorant, they don't know how to get along; but +their condition doesn't concern us, so long as our houses are light, +clean, and airy." + +Those poor wretches, however, because they are ignorant, because they +don't know how "to get along," because they live huddled together in +filthy tenements, breathing foul air, starving on bad food, become a +ready prey to infectious diseases. The infectious diseases spread. Men +of wealth, from the refined and cleanly quarters, encounter in their +business walks representatives from the degraded and disgusting +quarter, and take from them the seeds of those diseases; or, on some +fatal day, a miasma from the corruption of the degraded quarter is +wafted in at the windows of the luxurious dwellings, and the idols of +those dwellings are stricken down. So in the body politic. The wise +and well-to-do enact laws, obedience to which is for the general good. +The ignorant and poverty-stricken, because of their unenlightened +condition, cannot see that obedience is for the good of all, and break +those laws. Hence crimes, the effects of which the wise and well-to-do +are made to feel, and for the punishment of which they are made to +pay. It is the same with man and woman. Man says, "Let woman manage +her domestic concerns, attend to her children, and gain the +approbation of her husband. These are her chief duties, and for these +little culture is needed." But woman becomes the mother of sons who +become men; and the character, condition, and destiny of those sons +who become men are, as we have seen, determined largely by the +condition, pre-natal and post-natal, of the mothers. So that the +ignorance in which woman is kept by man re-acts on man. + +A fourth reason for a change is, that we live in a republic. In a +republic every man has a voice in public affairs. Every man is first a +child; and children, commonly speaking, are what the mother's +influence helps to make them. Therefore, if you would have the country +wisely, honestly, and decently governed, give the children the right +kind of mothers. If the community knew its own interests, it would not +merely permit women all possible means of culture, but would force all +possible means of culture upon them. It would say, "We can't afford +that you exhaust yourselves by labor, that you fritter yourselves away +in vanities; for by your deficiencies we all suffer, by your losses we +all lose." + +But mark how stupid the community is. It desires that all its members +shall possess wisdom and integrity; it declares that, in regard to +character, a great deal depends on early training; it declares that +this early training is the duty of mothers; and yet it does not take +the next step, and say, _Therefore_ mothers should be qualified +for their duty, and have every facility for performing it +satisfactorily. It asserts with great solemnity, "Just as the twig is +bent the tree's inclined," then gives all its twigs into the hands of +mothers, saying, "Here, bend these: it makes a terrible difference how +they are bent, but then it is not important that you have given any +attention to the process." Or, to vary the statement, the community +virtually addresses woman in this way: "A fearful responsibility rests +upon you. It is the responsibility of training these young, immortal +souls. This is your mission, your high and holy calling. You will, +however, get little time to attend to it; and, as for any special +preparation or knowledge of the subject, none is required. There's a +great deal of delicate and complex machinery to superintend, and a +mistake will tell fearfully in the result; but, never mind, we'll +trust luck." "Do we not," as Horace Mann once asked, "do we not need +some single word where we can condense into one monosyllable the +meaning of ten thousand fools?" Some deny the power of early training. +"Look!" they say, "there is a family of children brought up just +alike, and see how differently they all turn out." But a family of +children should not be brought up just alike. Different temperaments +require different treatment. And this is exactly the point where +knowledge is necessary, and a wisdom almost superhuman. That character +is the result of "inherited traits," as well as of education, does not +affect the case, since children "inherit" from mothers and the sons of +mothers. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +But suppose we leave this part of our subject, and endeavor now to +find a way out of this present state of things. Let us keep the +situation clearly before us. As things are, woman cannot obtain +culture because of being overburdened with work and care, and also +because of her enfeebled condition physically. To what is this present +state of things owing? Largely to the unworthy views of both men and +women concerning the essentials of life, and concerning the +requirements of woman's vocation. And these unworthy views of men and +women, to what are they owing? In a very great measure to early +impressions. Who, chiefly, are responsible for these? Mothers. They +are also, as has been shown, responsible for the larger part of the +prevailing invalidism of woman. Let us be sure to bear in mind that +these evils, these hinderances to culture, can be traced directly back +to the influence and the ignorance of mothers; for here is where the +whole thing hinges. Here is a basis to build upon. Child-training is +at the beginning. Child-training is woman's work. Everybody says so. +The wise say so. The foolish say so. The "oak and vine" man says so. +The "private way, dangerous passing" man says so. Very good. If this +is woman's work, _educate her for her work_. If "educate" isn't +the right word, instruct her, inform her, teach her, prepare her; name +the process as you choose, so that it enables her to comprehend the +nature of her business, and qualifies her to perform its duties. She +requires not only general culture, but special preparation, a +technical preparation if you will. Let this come in as the +supplementary part of what is called her education. Many will +pronounce this absurd; but why is it absurd? Say we have in our young +woman's class at the "Institute," thirty or forty or fifty young +women. Now, we know that almost every one of these, either as a mother +or in some other capacity, will have the care of children. The +"Institute" assumes to give these young women such knowledge as shall +be useful to them in after life. If "Institutes" are not for this +purpose, what are they for? One might naturally suppose, then, that +the kind of knowledge which its pupils need for their special vocation +would rank first in importance. And what kind will they need? Step +into the house round the corner, or down the street, and ask that +young mother, looking with unutterable tenderness upon the little +group around her, what knowledge she would most value. She will say, +"I long more than words can express to know how to keep these children +well. I want to make them good children, to so train them that they +will be comforts to themselves and useful to others. But I am ignorant +on every point. I don't know how to keep them well, and I don't know +how to control them, how to guide them." + +"It is said," you reply, "that every child brings love with it. Is not +love all-powerful and all-sufficient?" + +"Love does come with every child; but, alas! knowledge does not come +with the love. My love is so strong, and yet so blind, that it even +does harm. I would almost give up a little of my love if knowledge +could be got in exchange." + +Here, perhaps, you inquire, somewhat sarcastically, if no instruction +on these subjects was given at the "Institute." She opens wide her +astonished eyes. "Oh, no! No, indeed,--surely not." + +"What, then, were you taught there?" + +"Well, many things,--Roman history for one. We learned all about the +Punic Wars, their causes, results, and the names of the famous +generals on both sides." + +Now, if a Bostonian were going to Europe, it would do him no harm to +be told the names of all the streets in Chicago, the names of the +inhabitants of each street, with the stories of their lives, their +quarrels, reconciliations, and how each one rose or fell to his +position. Acquiring these facts would be good mental exercise, and +from a part of them he would learn something of human nature. But what +that man wants to know more than any thing is, on what day the steamer +sails for Europe: is she seaworthy? what are her accommodations? is +she well provisioned, well manned, well commanded? are her +life-preservers stuffed with cork or shavings? So, if a man is going +to build a boat, you might show him a collection of fossils, and +discourse to him of the gneiss system, the mica-schist system, or talk +of the atomic theory and protoplasms. Such knowledge would help to +enlarge his views, extend his range of vision, and strengthen his +memory, but would not help the man to build his boat. He wants to know +how to lay her keel straight, how to hit the right proportions, how to +make her mind her helm, how to make her go; and he has been taught +that the great pachyderms are divided into paleotheria and +anoplotheria. The same of our young mother: she wants to know how to +bring up her child, and she has been taught "how many Punic wars there +were, their causes, results, and the names of the famous generals on +both sides." + +It may be asked here, in what way, or by what studies, shall the young +woman's class at the "Institute" be taught the necessary knowledge? It +would be presumption in one like me to attempt a complete answer to +that question. But the professors, presidents, and stockholders of our +"Institutes" are learned and wise. If these will let their light shine +in this direction as they have let it shine in other directions, a way +will be revealed. But, while learning and wisdom are getting ready to +do this, mere common sense may offer a few suggestions. Suppose the +young woman's class were addressed somewhat in this way: "It is +probable that all of you, in one capacity or another, will have the +care of young children, and that for the majority it will be the chief +duty of your lives. There is, then, nothing in the whole vast range of +learning so important to you as knowledge on this subject." This for a +general statement to begin with. As for the particular subjects and +their order, common sense would ask, first, What does a young mother +want to know first? First, she wants to know how to keep her child +alive, how to make it strong to endure or defy disease. She needs to +be taught, for instance, why a child should breathe pure air, and why +it should not get its pure air in the form of draughts. She needs to +know if it makes any difference what a child eats, or how often, and +that a monotonous diet is injurious. She needs to know something of +the nutritive qualities of different kinds of food, and why some are +easy of digestion and others not, and in what way each kind builds up +the system. She needs to understand the chemistry of cookery, in order +to judge what kinds of food are calculated to make the best blood, +bones, and muscles. She needs to have some general ideas in regard to +ways of bringing back the system from an abnormal to a healthy state; +as, for instance, equalizing the circulations. Learned professors, +women physicians, will know how to deliver courses of lectures on all +such subjects, and to tell what books have been written on them, and +where these books may be found. And, as for the absurdity of teaching +these things beforehand, compare that with the absurdity of rearing a +race to hand over to physicians and undertakers, and choose between. +And even apart from their practical bearing, why are not such items of +knowledge as well worth learning, as simply items of knowledge, as the +hundreds of others which, at present, no young woman's course can be +without? There is no doubt that if mothers were given a knowledge of +these matters beforehand, instead of being left to acquire it +experimentally, the present frightful rate of infant mortality (nearly +twenty-five per cent) would be reduced. Plenty of light has been +thrown on this subject, but the community does not receive it. Here is +some which was contributed to one of the Board of Health reports by a +physician. + +"The mother," he says, "requires something more than her loving +instincts, her ready sympathies. With all her good-will and +conscientiousness, mistakes are made. The records of infant mortality +offer a melancholy illustration of the necessity of the mother's +previous preparation for the care of her children. The first-born die +in infancy in much larger proportion than their successors in the +family. The mother learns at the cost of her first child, and is +better prepared for the care of the second, and still better for the +third and fourth, whose chances of development into full life and +strength are much greater than those of the oldest brothers and +sisters." + +Think of the mother learning "at the cost of her first child," and of +the absurd young woman learning beforehand; and choose between. Also +please compare the "previous preparation" here recommended with the +mere bureau-drawer preparation, which is the only one at present +deemed necessary. Another writer, an Englishman, speaking of the high +rate of infant mortality, says, "It arises from ignorance of the +proper means to be employed in rearing children," which certainly is +plain language. Such facts and opinions as these would make an +excellent basis for a course of lectures at the "Institute," to be +given by competent women physicians. The advertisements of "Mrs. +Winslow's Soothing Syrup" would be remarkably suggestive in this +connection. A mother of three little children said to me, "I give the +baby her dose right after breakfast; and she goes to sleep, and sleeps +all the forenoon. That's the way I get my work done." We all know why +the baby sleeps after taking its dose. We do not know how many mothers +adopt this means of getting their work done; but the fact that the +proprietor of this narcotic gained his immense wealth by the sale of +it enables us to form some idea. + +The importance of educating nursery-girls for their calling, and the +physical evils which may arise from leaving young children entirely to +the care of nursery-girls, would be exceedingly suggestive as lecture +subjects. Mr. Kingsley asks, "Is it too much to ask of mothers, +sisters, aunts, nurses, and governesses, that they should study thrift +of human health and human life by studying somewhat the laws of life +and health? There are books--I may say a whole literature of +books--written by scientific doctors on these matters, which are, to +my mind, far more important to the schoolroom than half the trashy +accomplishments, so called, which are expected to be known by our +governesses." + +But, supposing a mother succeeds in keeping her child alive and well, +what knowledge does she desire next? She desires to know next how to +guide it, influence it, mould its character. She does all these, +whether she tries to or not, whether she knows it or not, whether she +wishes to or not. Says Horace Mann, "It ought to be understood and +felt, that in regard to children all precept and example, all kindness +and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all forms, indeed, of +direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, just as dew, and +sun, and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable growth. Their +influences are integrated and made one with the soul. They enter into +spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be wholly +decompounded. They are like the daily food eaten by wild game, so +pungent in its nature that it flavors every fibre of their flesh, and +colors every bone in their bodies. Indeed, so pervading and enduring +is the effect of education upon the youthful soul, that it may well be +compared to a certain species of writing ink, whose color at first is +scarcely perceptible, but which penetrates deeper and grows blacker by +age, until, if you consume the scroll over a coal-fire, the character +will still be legible in the cinders." + +In regard to inherited bad traits, the question arises, if even these +may not be changed for the better by skilful treatment given at a +sufficiently early period. Children inheriting diseased bodies are +sometimes so reared as to become healthy men and women. To do this +requires watchfulness and wise management. How do we know that by +watchfulness and wise management children born with inherited bad +traits may not be trained to become good men and women? But the +majority of mothers do not watch for such traits. It seldom occurs to +them that they should thus watch. Why not bring the subject to the +consideration of young women "beforehand," when, being assembled in +companies, they are easy of access? It is too late when they are +scattered abroad, and burdened each with her pressing family duties. +"Forewarned is forearmed." + +Some are of the opinion that the badness which comes by inheritance +cannot be changed. This is equivalent to believing that there is no +help for the evil in the world. Unworthy and vicious parents are +continually transmitting objectionable traits to their children, who +in turn will transmit them to theirs, and so on to the end of time. +Shall we fold our hands, and resign ourselves to the prospect, while +our educators go on ignoring the whole matter, and leaving those who +might affect a change ignorant that it is in their power to do so? + +"But," says one, "the children of those people who thought so much +about education, and who started with model theories, behave no better +than other people's children." This may be true, and still prove +nothing. "Those people" might not have thought wisely about education. +Their model theories might not have been adapted to the various +temperaments often found in one family. Their children might have been +exceptionally faulty by nature; unsuspected inherited traits may have +developed themselves, and interfered with the workings of the model +theories. The failure of "those people" shows all the more the need of +preparation given "beforehand," and given by those who make the +subject a special study, just as the professor of history, or +mathematics, or natural philosophy, makes his department a special +study. + +When we consider how much is at stake, it really seems as if learned +and wise professors could not employ their learning and wisdom to +better purpose than in devising ways of enlightening the "young +woman's class" upon any and every point which has a bearing on the +intellectual and moral training of children. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS. + + +It is not to be supposed that enlightenment on subjects pertaining to +the intellectual and moral training of children can be given to a +young woman in text-book fashion, cut and dried, put up in packages, +and labelled ready for use. But it will be something gained to set her +thinking on these subjects, to make her feel their importance, and to +inform her in what books and by what writers they have been +considered. All this, and more to the same purpose, could be done by +lectures and discussions, for which lectures and discussions even +humble common sense need be at no loss to suggest topics. There are, +for instance, the different methods of governing, of reproving, of +punishing, and of securing obedience; the evils of corporal +punishment, of governing by ridicule, of showing temper while +punishing. Then there are questions like these: How far should love of +approbation be encouraged? What prominence shall be given to +externals, as personal appearance, the minutia of behavior, politeness +of speech? How may perfect politeness be combined with perfect +sincerity? Ways of inculcating integrity. How to teach self-reliance, +without fostering self-conceit. How to encourage prudence and economy, +and at the same time discourage parsimony. How to combine firmness +with kindness. Implicit obedience a good basis to work on. How to +enter into a child's life, and make it a happy one. How not to become +a slave to a child's whims. The different amounts of indulgence and of +assistance which different temperaments will bear. How shall +liberality be inculcated, and extravagance denounced? On deceitfulness +as taught by parents. On lying as taught by parents. On the +impossibility of making one theory work in a whole family of children, +or always on a single child. Shall obedience be implicit, and how +early in the child's life shall it be exacted? On marriages. On the +true issues of life. When shall ambition and the spirit of emulation +be encouraged, and when repressed? The possibility of too much +fault-finding making a child callous. If mere common sense discovers +so many subjects, what number may not learning and wisdom discover +when their attention shall be turned in this direction? + +The "nursery-girl" topic might come up again, and be considered in its +moral and intellectual aspects. Some mothers see their small children +only once or twice a day, while the nurse is with them constantly. +This fact might be made strikingly significant by placing it side by +side with Horace Mann's words: "In regard to children, all precept and +example, all kindness and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all +forms, indeed, of direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, +just as dew and sun and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable +growth. Their influences are integrated and made one with the soul. +They enter into spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be +wholly decompounded,"--also with a previously quoted assertion, +founded on actual experiments, that "it is the medium in which a child +is habitually immersed" which helps most in forming the child's +character. The kind of reading which falls into the hands of the young +would be found to be a lecture topic of appalling interest. Striking +illustrations for such lectures could be taken from the advertisements +and statistics of story-paper and dime-novel publishers. The +illustrated papers which can be bought and are bought by youth are +crammed to overflowing with details of vice and barbarity. They have +columns headed "A Melange of Murder," "Fillicide, or a Son killing a +Father," "Lust and Blood," "Fiendish Assassination," "Particulars of +the Hanging of John C. Kelly," "Carving a Darky," "An Interesting +Divorce Case in Boston," "A Band of Juvenile Jack Sheppards." And the +pictures match the reading,--a jealous lover shooting a half-naked +girl; a father murdering his family; an inquisitive youth peering into +a ladies' dressing-room. If the contents of these papers are bad for +us to hear of, what must they be to the youth who read them? Dime +novels are advertised in these same papers as being issued once a +month, and supplied by all the news companies, "Sensational stories +from the pens of gifted American novelists!" "The Sharpers' League," +"Lyte, or the Suspected One," "The Pirate's Isle," "Darrell, the +Outlaw," "The Night Hawks, containing Midnight Robbery, Plots dark and +deep," "The Female Poisoner," "Etne of the Angel Face and Demon +Heart," "The Cannibal Kidnappers, a Sequel to the Boy Mutineers," +"Life for Life, or the Spanish Gipsy Girl," "Tom Wildrake's +School-days." Some of these papers are entitled "Boys' and Girls'" +weeklies. The old saying is, "Build doves' nests, and doves will +come." What kind of "nests" are being built by the young readers of +these publications, of which it may almost literally be said, "no boy +can do without one"? The boy at school has one between the leaves of +his geography; the boy riding, or sailing, or resting from his work or +his play, draws one from his pocket; the grocer's boy comes forward to +serve you, tucking one under his jacket. In the way of statistics, it +might be stated that nineteen tons of obscene publications and plates +for the same were seized at one time in New-York City. Should +representatives of "our best families" ask, "How does this affect us +and ours?" it could be answered that catalogues of academies and +boarding-schools are obtained, and that these publications are then +forwarded to pupils by mail. + +Topics of this kind would naturally suggest those of an opposite kind, +as modes of awakening in children an appreciation of the beauty, the +sublimity, the wonderfulness, of the various objects in the world of +nature; also of cultivating in their minds a taste for the beautiful +and the refined in art, literature, manners, conversation. These +considerations could be effectively introduced into a lecture or +lectures "On the Building of Doves' Nests." Is it not "essential" that +mothers should have the time, the facilities, and the knowledge +necessary for accomplishing what is here suggested, and that they be +made sensible of its importance? But there is many a busy mother now +who can scarcely "take time" to look out when her children call her to +see a rainbow, much less to walk out with them among natural objects. + +The object of these lectures should not be to teach any particular +theories on which to act in the management of children, but to so +instruct, so to enlighten young women, that when the time for action +comes they will act intelligently. With the majority of women the +management of children is a mere "getting along." In this "getting +along" they often have recourse to deception; thus teaching +deceitfulness. They are often unfair, punishing on one occasion what +they smile at or wink at on another; thus teaching injustice. They +lose self-control, and punish when in anger; thus setting examples of +violence and bad temper. It is probable that a young woman who had +been educated with a view to her vocation would be more likely to act +wisely in these emergencies and in her general course of management, +than one who had not. There would be more chance of her taking pains +to consider. She would not work so blindly, so aimlessly, so "from +hand to mouth," as do some of our mothers. + +Such enlightenment is an enlightenment for which any good mother will +be thankful. She wants it to work with. She feels the need of it every +hour in the day. Why, then, is it not given to young women as a part +of their education, and as the most important part? They are +instructed in almost every thing else. They can give you the areas, +population, boundaries, capitals, and peculiarities of far-away and +insignificant provinces; the exact measurements of mountain ranges, +lakes, and rivers; statistics, in figures, of the farthest isle beyond +the farthest sea. They are lectured on the antediluvians, on the Milky +Way, on the Siamese, Japanese, North Pole, on all the ologies; on the +literature, modes of thought, and modes of life, of extinct races. +They can converse in foreign tongues; they are familiar with dead +languages, and with the superstitions, observances, and quarrels of +certain races, barbarous or otherwise, who existed thousands of years +ago. In fact, they are taught, after some fashion, almost every thing +except what their life-work will specially require. Little will it +avail a mother in her seasons of perplexity or of bereavement to +remember "what wars engaged Rome after the Punic Wars, and how many +years elapsed before she was mistress of the Mediterranean." This and +the following questions are taken from the "Examination Papers" of a +popular "Institute" for young ladies. + +"Give names and dates of the principal engagements of the Persian +wars, with the names of the great men of Greece during that period." + +"Show cause, object, and result of the Peloponnesian war." + +"Give names and attributes of the seven kings of Rome." + +"After the kings were driven out, what does the internal history +mainly consist of?" + +"What were the social, and what were the civil wars?" + +Common sense might ask why every child born in the nineteenth century +must go to work so solemnly to learn the minute particulars of those +old wars! Still common sense would not declare such knowledge to be +altogether worthless; it would only suggest that woman wants the kind +which will help her in her special department, more than she wants +this kind. Said a lady in my hearing,--an only child reared in the +very centre of wealth and culture,--"I was most carefully educated; +but, when I came to be the mother of children, I found myself utterly +helpless." + +It is gratifying to know that in regard to these matters common sense +has very respectable learning and wisdom on its side. A celebrated +writer and thinker says, "If by some strange chance not a vestige of +us descended to the remote future, save a pile of our school-books, or +some college examination papers, we may imagine how puzzled an +antiquary of the period would be on finding in them no indication that +the learners were ever likely to be parents. 'This must have been the +curriculum for their celibates,' we may fancy him concluding: 'I +perceive here an elaborate preparation for many things; especially for +reading the books of extinct nations (from which, indeed, it seems +clear that these people had very little worth reading in their own +tongue), but I find no reference whatever to the bringing up of +children. They could not have been so absurd as to omit all training +for this gravest of responsibilities. Evidently, then, this was the +school-course of one of their monastic orders.' Seriously, is it not +an astonishing fact, that though on the treatment of offspring depend +their lives or their deaths, and their moral welfare or ruin, not one +word on such treatment is ever given to those who will hereafter be +parents? Is it not monstrous, that the fate of a new generation should +be left to the chances of unreasoning custom, impulse, fancy, joined +with the suggestions of ignorant nurses and the prejudiced counsel of +grandmothers? To tens of thousands that are killed, add hundreds of +thousands that survive with feeble constitutions, and millions that +grow up with constitutions not so strong as they should be, and you +will have some idea of the curse inflicted on their offspring by +parents ignorant of the laws of life. With cruel carelessness they +have neglected to learn any thing about these vital processes which +they are unceasingly affecting by their commands and prohibitions; in +utter ignorance of the simplest physiological laws, they have been, +year by year, undermining the constitutions of their children, and +have so inflicted disease and premature death not only on them but on +their descendants. Consider the young mother and her nursery +legislation. But a few years ago she was at school, where her memory +was crammed with words, names, and dates; where not one idea was given +her respecting the methods of dealing with the opening mind of +childhood. The intervening years have been passed in practising music, +in fancy work, in novel-reading, and in party-going; no thought having +been yet given to the grave responsibilities of maternity. And now see +her with an unfolding human character committed to her charge,--see +her profoundly ignorant of the phenomena with which she has to deal, +undertaking to do that which can be done but imperfectly even with the +aid of the profoundest knowledge.... Lacking knowledge of mental +phenomena, with their causes and consequences, her interference is +frequently more mischievous than absolute passivity would have been." + +This writer, it seems, would also have young men educated with a view +to their probable duties as fathers, and so, of course, would we all; +and much might be said on this point, especially of its bearing on the +solution of our problem; still, as Mr. Frothingham said in a recent +address, "The mother, of all others, is the one to foster and control +the individuality of the child." It was "good mothers" which Napoleon +needed in order to secure the welfare of France. "Such kind of women +as are the mothers of great men," is a significant sentence I have +seen somewhere in print. In fact, so much depends on mothers, that +there seems no possible way by which our problem can be fully solved +until the right kind of mothers shall have been raised up, and their +children be grown to maturity. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE. + + +But is there no possible way by which mothers now living may escape +from this present unsatisfactory condition? Yes; but not many will +adopt it. Simplicity in food and in dress would set free a very large +number. A great part of what are called their "domestic" occupations +consists in the preparation of food which is worse than unnecessary. A +great part of their sewing work consists in fabricating "trimmings" +which are worse than useless, even considering beauty a use, which it +is. Let these simplify their cooking and their dressing, and time for +culture will appear, and for them our problem be solved. We preach +against the vice of intemperance, and with reason. Let us ask +ourselves if intemperance in eating and in dressing is not even more +to be deplored. The former brings ruin to comparatively a few: by +means of the latter the whole tone of mind among women is lowered; and +we have seen what it costs to lower the tone of mind among women. We +must remember that not only is the condition of the mother reflected +in the organism of her child, but that the child is taught by the +daily example of its mother what to look upon as the essentials of +life. "I feel miserable," said a feeble house-mother, just recovering +from sickness; "but I managed to crawl out into the kitchen, and stir +up a loaf of cake." Now, why should a sick woman have crawled out into +the kitchen, to stir up a loaf of cake? Was that a paramount +duty,--one which demanded the outlay of her little all of strength? +This is the obvious inference, and one which children would naturally +draw. A lady of intelligence, on hearing this case stated, expressed +the opinion that the woman did no more than her duty. Said this lady, +"If her husband liked cake, it was her duty to provide it for him at +whatever sacrifice of health on her own part." + +Now, it seems reasonable to suppose that an affectionate couple would +have a mutual understanding in regard to such matters. It seems +reasonable to suppose that an affectionate husband would rather +partake of plain fare in the society of a wife with sufficient health +and spirits to be companionable, than to eat his cake alone while she +was recovering from the fatigue of making it. + +Speaking of inferences, it is obvious what ones a child will draw from +seeing its mother deprive herself of sleep and recreation and +reading-time in order to trim a suit _a la mode_. And these +inferences of children concerning essentials have a mighty bearing on +our problem. Some ladies defend the present elaborate style of dress +on the ground that it affords the means of subsistence to +sewing-girls. There is something in this, but I think not so much as +appears. Go into the upper lofts where much of this sewing is done, +and what will you find? You will find them crowded with young girls, +bending over sewing-machines, or over work-tables, breathing foul air, +and, in some cases, engaged in conversations of the most objectionable +character. Their pay is ridiculously small,--a dollar and a half for +doing the machine-work on a full-trimmed fashionable "suit." I learned +this, and about the conversations, from a worker at one of these +establishments. Clothes, especially outside clothes, they must have +and will have; consequently the saving must be made on food. Some, too +poor to pay board, hire attic rooms, and pinch themselves in both fire +and food. They often carry their dinner, say bread, tea, and +confectioner's pie, and remain at the store all day. They are liable +to be thrown among vile associates; they are exposed to many +temptations. They enrich their employers, but not themselves. In dull +seasons their situation is pitiable, not to say dangerous. A great +number of them come from country homes. Of these, many might live +comfortably in those homes, and others might earn a support by working +in their neighbors' houses, where they would be considered as members +of the families, have good lodging and nourishing food, and where +their assistance is not only desired, but in some cases actually +suffered for. They prefer the excitements of city life. (Of course, +these remarks do not apply to all of them.) Fashionable ladies may not +employ shop-girls directly or indirectly, but their example helps to +make a market for the services of these girls. Another consideration +is, that the poor seamstress who is benefited directly by the money of +fashionable ladies is taught as directly, by their example, false +views as to the essentials of life; so that what helps in one way +hinders in another. All this should be considered by those who bring +forward "sewing-girls' needs" as an argument for an elaborate style of +dress. Even were this argument sound, it fails to cover the case. A +very large proportion of our women have not money enough to hire their +sewing done, and it is upon these that the wearisome burden falls. To +keep up, to vary with the varying fashion, they toil in season and out +of season. Day after day you will see them at their work-tables, their +machines, their lap-boards; ripping, stitching, turning, altering, +furbishing; complaining often of sideache, of backache, of headache, +of aching all over; denying themselves outdoor air and exercise and +reading-time,--and all because they consider dressing fashionably an +essential of life. With them, what costs only time, health, and +strength, costs nothing. + +Think of this going on all over the country. Think of the sacrifices +it involves. In view of them, it really seems as if those who can +afford to hire their sewing done should give up elaborate trimmings +just for example's sake. To be sure, this is not striking at the +foundation. To be sure, this is not the true way of bringing about a +reform. But, while waiting to get at the foundation, would it not be +well to work a little on the surface for the sake of immediate +results? You would refrain from taking a glass of wine if, by so +doing, you made abstinence easier for your weaker brother or sister. +Why not consider the weakness of these toiling sisters? It is not +their fault that they do not see what are the true issues of life. +They have not been wisely educated. If the wealthy and influential +would adopt a simple style of dress, their doing so would be the means +of relieving many overburdened women immediately, and of helping them +to solve the problem we are considering. It is not wicked to dress +simply, and no principle would be sacrificed. Neither would good +taste. Indeed, the latter is opposed to excessive ornamentation, +whether in dress, manners, speech, or writing. Long live beauty! Long +live taste! Long live the "aesthetic side"! But simplicity does not +necessarily imply plainness, nor homeliness, nor uncouthness. There +can be a simplicity of adornment. I am aware that acting for example's +sake is not a sound principle of action; but it is a question if it be +not duty in this particular case. A lady physician of large practice +once said to me, "I see, among poor girls, so much misery caused by +this,"--meaning this rage for excessive trimming,--"that I can +scarcely bring myself to wear even one plain fold." If it be asked, +Should we not also relinquish costly fabrics, and the elegant +appointments of our dwellings? it may be answered, that "poor girls" +commonly give up these as being entirely out of their reach. They buy +low-priced material, and call the dress cheap which costs only their +time, their strength, their sleep, and their opportunities for reading +and recreation. + +We all know that the right way is to so educate woman that she will be +sensible in these matters. The external life is but the natural +outgrowth of the internal. It is of no use cutting off follies and +fripperies from the outside so long as the heart's desire for them +remains. This heart's desire must have something better in its +place,--something higher, nobler, worthier. This something is +enlightenment; and to effect the exchange we shall have to begin at +the beginning, and enlighten the mothers. Follies and fripperies, in +cooking or dressing, will give way before enlightenment, just as do +the skin paintings, tattooings, gaudy colors, glass beads and tinsel, +and other absurdities of savage tribes; just as have done the barbaric +customs and splendors of the barbaric ages. Woman is not quite out of +her barbaric stage yet. At any rate, she is not fully enlightened. The +desire for that redundancy of adornment which is in bad taste still +remains. In the process of evolution, the nose-ring has been cast off; +but rings are still hooked into the flesh of the ears, and worn with +genuine barbaric complacency. When women are all wisely educated, our +problem will melt away and disappear. The wisely-educated woman will, +of her own accord, lay hold on essentials and let go unessentials. She +will do the best thing with her time, the best thing with her means. +She may conform to fashion, but will not feel obliged to do so. In +fact, when women become enlightened, non-conformity to fashion will be +all the fashion. Right of private judgment in the matter will be +conceded. All women shall dress as seemeth to them good; and no woman +shall say, or think, or look, "Why do ye so?" Those having +insufficient means and time will be so wise as not to feel compelled +to dress like those who have plenty of both. + +Meanwhile, as an immediate measure of relief, suppose a dozen or +twenty mothers in each town should agree to adopt a simple yet +tasteful style of dress for themselves and their little girls. This +would lighten, at once, their heavy burden of work, give them "time to +read," and would be a benefit to those little girls in many ways. + +Another way of immediate escape is by making the present race of +husbands aware that their wives are being killed, or crazed, with hard +work and care, especially husbands in the small towns and villages, +and more especially farmers. In regard to these last, it is no +exaggeration to say that their wives in many cases work like slaves. +Indeed, this falls short of the truth, for slaves have not the added +burden of responsibility. As things are now, the woman who marries a +farmer often goes, as one may say, into a workhouse, sentenced to hard +labor for life. + +When these husbands permit their wives to "overwork," it is not from +indifference, but from sheer ignorance. They don't know, they don't +begin to conceive, of the labor there is in "woman's work." It is true +that neither are merchant-princes aware of what it costs their wives +to superintend the complicated arrangements of their establishments; +to see that all the wheels, and the wheels within wheels, revolve +smoothly, and that comfort and style go hand in hand; but let us +consider now the farmers' wives, toiling on, and on, and on, in +country towns, East, West, and all the way between. Their husbands, in +not a few cases, are able to hire at least the drudgery done, and +would if they only knew. A young woman from a New Hampshire village, +herself an invalid from hard work, speaking to me of her mother, said, +"She suffers every thing with her back. When she stoops down to the +oven to attend to the pies, she has to hold on to her back, hard, to +get up again." I said, "Why, I shouldn't think your father would let +her make them."--"Oh," said she, "father don't understand. He's hard." +One day I was sitting in the house of a young woman,--a fragile, +delicate creature, scarcely able to lift the baby she was +holding,--when her husband came in. He was a working man, tall and +robust looking. He walked toward the pantry. "You mustn't cut a pie," +the little wife called out laughing. Then turning to me, she said, +with a sort of appealing, piteous glance, "He don't understand how +hard it is for me to make pies." I know a young woman, not a strong +woman, who, with a family of very little children, does her own work, +and makes from one to two dozen pies at a common baking, "'cause hubby +loves 'em." I know another, similarly situated, who gives her husband +pies at breakfast as well as at other meals, because "he was brought +up to them at home." Now, all these "hubbies" are loving "hubbies," +but--they do not know. A friend of mine, an elderly woman lately +deceased, came to her death (so her neighbors said) by hard work. +"Killed with work," was the exact expression they used. She was a dear +good woman; a person of natural refinement, of strict integrity, of a +forgiving spirit, intelligent, sweet-tempered, gentle-mannered; +everybody loved her. Her husband is a well-to-do farmer. He inherited +money and lands, and has them still. His wife, who was every thing to +him, whom he could not bear out of his sight, and for whom, if he had +known, he would have sacrificed money and lands, is gone. But--he did +not know. "Mother" never complained. "Mother" did the cooking, did the +washing, scrubbed the floors. They had "company forever," the +neighbors said. "Mother" received, with smiling hospitality, all who +came. Help was hard to procure; still help might and would have been +procured had the husband known the case to be, as it certainly was, a +case of life or death. But--he did not know: so "mother" died of work +and care. + +You sometimes see a woman, after hurrying through her forenoon's work, +sink down entirely prostrated, too tired to speak a loud word, every +nerve in her body quivering. The jar of a footfall upon the floor sets +her "all a-tremble." As dinnertime approaches, you see that woman +stepping briskly about the house, a light in her eye, a flush on her +cheek, vivacity in her motions. She is "living on excitement;" "it is +ambition which keeps her up." Her husband, coming in to his dinner, +takes her briskness and vivacity as matters of course, regarding her, +probably, as a woman who has nothing to do but to stay in the house +all day. He has no more idea of the condition of that woman than her +infant has. + +There are thousands of husbands, who, if they knew, would lift the +burden of at least the heaviest drudgery from their wives, thus giving +them longer leases of life. But, as a rule, wives keep their bad +feelings to themselves. They know that "a complaining woman" is a term +of reproach. They are exhorted in newspaper after newspaper to "make +home happy by cheerful looks and words." They wish to do so. With a +laudable desire to save money, they spend themselves, and "get along" +without help. It is truly a getting-along, not a living. Sometimes, +however, they are obliged to mention their feebleness, or their +ailments, as reasons for neglect of duty. It is astonishing how little +importance, in many cases, the husband attaches to the facts thus +stated. Apparently he considers ailments either as being natural to +woman, or as afflictions sent upon her by the Lord. He seems to look +upon her as a sort of machine, which is liable to run down, but which +may easily be wound up by a little medicine, and set going again. If +the medicine does not set her going again, he brings her pastor to +pray for her; if she dies, he says, "The Lord hath taken her away." +All this because he does not know. When husbands are enlightened on +this important point, this solemn point, they will insist on less work +for women. Less work implies more leisure, and with leisure comes time +for culture. + +Another step towards the immediate solution of our problem is, to +establish the fact that woman stands on a level with man, and is +neither an appendage nor a "relict." Relict, it is true, only means +that which is left; still we do not hear James Smith called the +"relict" of Hannah Smith. Standing on the same level does not imply a +likeness, but simply a natural equality,--equality, for instance, in +matters of conscience, judgment, and opinion. It is often said, that, +as a barbarous race progresses toward civilization, its women are +brought nearer and nearer to an equality with its men. Thus in the +barbaric stage woman is an appendage to man, existing solely for his +pleasure and convenience. She is then at her lowest. As civilization +progresses, she rises gradually nearer an equality with man. + +When she is all the way up, when her individuality is recognized as +man's is recognized, then civilization, in this respect, will have +done its perfect work. Woman among us is almost all the way up, but +not quite. She is still considered, and considers herself, a little +bit inferior by nature. We see at once how this bears upon our +question. Just so much as woman is considered inferior, just so much +less importance is attached to the nature of her occupations and +acquirements. It is all right enough that an inferior being should +devote herself to follies, or to drudgeries, or to catering to +fastidious appetites. These duties are on a level with her capacities; +for these she was created, and for these culture is unneeded. When +civilization shall have finished its work, so far as to bring woman up +to her true position of equality with man,--equality in matters of +conscience, judgment, opinion, and privileges,--then will man be able +to put off from his shoulders the responsibility of deciding what is, +and what is not, proper for her to do. He has carried double weight +long and uncomplainingly, and should in justice to himself be +relieved. Equals need not decide for equals. Woman will take up the +burden he throws off, and decide for herself. We must proceed +cautiously here, for there are lions in the path. Being free to +choose, she may choose to take interest in such kinds of public +affairs as have a bearing on her special duty. We are interested in +this, remember, because whatever affects her special duty affects the +solution of our problem. + +Now let us ask, under our breaths, what are public affairs? The public +consists of individuals. If there were no individuals there would be +no public. Public affairs, then, are only individual's affairs, +managed collectively, because that is the most convenient way of +managing them. Their good or bad management affects the comfort of +men, women, and children. Let us ask, why, simply by being christened +"public affairs," should they be turned into a great, horrid bugaboo, +too dangerous for women even to think of? Schools are a part of public +affairs, and one would suppose it to be a part of woman's vocation to +ascertain what is the influence of these schools on the children she +is bringing up; to learn whether they are working with her or against +her. Cases might arise concerning choice of teachers, hours of study, +kinds of study, ventilation, and so forth, in which it would be her +duty, as a child-trainer, to express an opinion: like the following +one, for instance, which comes to us in the newspapers, as "criminal +negligence in the affairs at the Mount Pleasant Schoolhouse, by which +about a dozen children have died of disease, others passed through +severe sickness, and not a few, including teachers, made temporary +invalids, or infected with boils or scrofulous sores, caused by +breathing the polluted air that has infested the building from +neglected earth-closets. The Board of Health officially announced that +this was the cause of the sickness, and recommended the removal of the +earth-closets. The janitor of the building, it seems, is incompetent, +and holds his place only because he is also a member of the School +Board; which suggests the query whether men unfit for janitors are +usually placed on the Nashua School Committee.... Five of the lads who +died were among the brightest scholars in the public schools. The +building has not yet been properly renovated." + +Shall woman's sons be thus destroyed, and woman be powerless to +interfere? + +In urgent cases like this, it might become the duty of the mother to +express her opinion by dropping a slip of paper with a name written on +it into a hat or a box. It would even be possible to conceive of +emergencies in which these slips of paper would so affect some vital +issue,--as, for instance, the choice or removal of the janitor who +will furnish the air for her children to breathe,--that the father +would stay with the children while the mother went out to thus express +her opinion. + +Then, indeed, would the climax be reached! Then would that state of +things so long foretold have come to pass: the husband takes care of +the children, while the wife goes out to vote! Then would the funny +artist snatch up his pencil, and the funny editor his quill. It has +always been a mystery to me where the laugh came in on this joke. +True, it is not his calling; but what is there so very incongruous in +a father's "taking care" of his own children? Fathers love their +children, and will toil night and day for them, even for the very +small ones. Is there any thing ridiculous, then, in their taking them +in their arms, and overlooking their childish sports? A man may take a +lamb in his arms without losing an iota of his dignity, and without +being caricatured in any one of our weeklies. It is quite time that +these precious little human lambs ceased to be the subjects of scoffs +and sneers. + +But we must pass on from this part of our subject, and glance at one +or two other ways of immediate escape from the present unsatisfactory +state of things. See how quickly such escape might be made by a truly +enlightened family. First, they hold counsel together, men and women, +all desiring the same object. Question, How shall "mother" find time +for culture? Say the male members, "Mother's work must be +lessened,--must be: there is a necessity in the case."--"But +how?"--"Well, investigate. Begin with the cooking. Let's see what we +can do without." Three cheers for our side! When man begins to see +what cooking he can do without, woman will begin to see her time for +culture. Dinners are summoned to the bar, examined, and found guilty +of too great variety and of too elaborate desserts. Sentence, less +variety, and fruit for dessert instead of pies, or even pudding: +exception filed here in favor of simple pudding when first course is +scanty or lacking. Suppers summoned, tried, and found guilty of too +great variety and too much richness; sentenced to omit pies for life, +and admonished by judge not to cling too closely to work-compelling +cake. The time thus rescued from the usurper, Cooking, is handed over +to "mother," the true heir, to have, and to hold. + +Or, suppose the question to be one of health. "'Mother' works too +hard. She will wear herself out."--"She doesn't complain."--"That +makes no difference. She must have help."--"Where is the money coming +from to pay the help?"--"Make it; earn it; dig for it; do without +something; give up something; sell something; live on bread and water. +Is there any thing that will weigh in the balance against 'mother's' +life? We shall feel grief when she is worn out; why not when she is +wearing out? We would make sacrifices to bring her back; why not to +keep her with us?" The truth is, that heretofore the wrong things have +been counterbalanced. Placing simple food in one scale, and dainties +in the other, of course the latter outweighs the former; but place +"mother's" needs and "mother's" life in one scale, and dainties in the +other, and then will the latter fly up out of sight, and never be +heard from any more. Councils of this kind, we must remember, are not +to become general until the requirements of "woman's mission" are +generally understood, and until a great many men are made aware that a +great many women are killing themselves by hard work and care, and +until academic professors perceive that it is wiser to give a young +woman the knowledge she will want to use than that which is given for +custom's sake. But how is this general enlightenment to be effected? I +don't know, unless the lecturer makes these subjects the theme of his +lecture, or the poet the burden of his verse, or the minister the text +of his discourse.--Not proper to be brought into the church? Why not? +A great deal about heathen women is brought into the church. Are +American women of less account than they? Does not the condition of +our women call for missionary effort? True, American wives do not +sacrifice themselves for their deceased husbands, but we have seen +that they are sacrificed. There is here no sacred river into which the +mother hurls her newborn babe; but it has been shown, that, because +American mothers are left in ignorance, a large proportion of their +children drop from their arms into the dark river of death. + +Should any object that such subjects are below the dignity of the +church, we might reply that the church is bound to help us for the +reason that the present state of things is partly owing to her +efforts. The ministers of the church in past times have labored to +convince people that this life for its own sake is of little account; +that we were placed here, not to develop the faculties and enjoy the +pleasures which pertain to this stage of our existence, but solely to +prepare for another. They have taught that we sicken and die +prematurely because God wills it, not because we transgress his laws. +To those suffering physically from such transgression they have said +in effect, "Pray God to relieve your pain, for he sent it upon you." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION. + + +Three effective means by which the desired change may be accomplished +are, first, that women meet regularly for the purpose of discussing +such matters as especially affect them and their mission; second, that +they have a paper for this same object; third, that representative +women from different sections of the country come together +occasionally, and compare views on these matters. Such means we +already have in the "Woman's Club," the "Woman's Journal," and the +"Woman's Congress." + +The first of these institutions is not what the uninitiated, judging +from its name, might suppose. The writer, though not a club-member, +can affirm of her own knowledge, that at the weekly gatherings +questions are discussed which have a direct bearing on the interests +of the family and household. From these gatherings, members return to +their homes strengthened, refreshed, enlightened. All teachers can +testify that from teachers' conventions they go back to work with +awakened interest, fresh zeal, and with newly-acquired ideas. The +contact of mind with mind has invigorated them. They have all taken +from each other, yet none have been losers, but all have been gainers. +Every school which lost its teacher for a season gained tenfold by +that teacher's absence. So it is with the club meetings. Women leave +their homes to consider how the standard of those homes may be raised. +I happened to be present once when the discussion was upon "The amount +and kind of obedience to be exacted from children;" and I said to +myself, Now, this seems the right thing exactly. How natural, how +sensible, for women to meet and confer on such subjects as this, each +one bringing her perplexities or her suggestions; the old giving their +experience, the young profiting thereby! What better could mothers do +for their children than thus to meet occasionally and hold counsel +together? + +Still people in general do not take this view of the case. People in +general are satisfied if a mother is bodily present with her children, +and do not trouble themselves as to her enlightenment. + +Look at the last Woman's Congress, side by side with three other large +conventions held in this country not so very long ago, and compare its +purposes with theirs. The questions which occupied the members of one +of the three related chiefly to articles of belief, and to those +particular articles of belief in which they all believed. It was +stated beforehand, that the great object to be attained was unity, and +that no subjects would come up which, by calling out opposing +opinions, might mar the harmony of the occasion. + +Another convention occupied much of its time in deciding whether those +of the denomination who sit at communion with others of the +denomination who have sat at communion with a person who has not been +wholly immersed, shall be fellowshipped by the denomination. + +An enthusiastic member of still another convention publishes a long +and glowing account of its proceedings, in which account occurs the +following curious paragraph:-- + +"During the discussions in convention, the presentation of petitions +and memorials and drafts of canons, the reports of the committees on +canons, the amendments and substitutes, the transit of canons back and +forth between the two houses, and finally, the conference committee, +the slowly developing action of the convention was under such +confusion and cloud, that it was and may yet be difficult for many, +especially those at a distance, to make up their mind as to what +finally took place." The object of this paragraph was to account for +some wrong impressions made by the published reports. + +I submit that what humanity wants to know is, how to live rightly, and +that it is suffering for this knowledge. It is not suffering to know +all about "altar cloths" and "eucharistic lights," and "colored +chasubles" and "the use of the viretta in worship." It is not +suffering to know if certain persons can partake of the Lord's Supper +with other certain persons who have partaken with other certain +persons. It is not suffering to know that a large number of +individuals believe exactly alike, and exactly as did their ancestors. +How are all these agreements and disagreements to help a poor fellow +who has inherited certain proclivities, and wishes to be rid of them, +and that his children may overmaster them? + +Humanity does want to know, right away, how to keep itself alive and +well and doing well. It wants brought up for consideration the wrongs +which oppress it, the evils which defile it, the crimes which degrade +it; to have their causes investigated, and their remedies suggested. +This is live work; and it is such work as this which occupied the +attention of the Woman's Congress. No uncertain sound there. Those "at +a distance," those at the very antipodes, might "make up their mind" +that its members were asking themselves, what have we, as wives and +mothers, to do with these things? While other conventions are +"agreeing," and "fellowshipping," and wrangling over "altar cloths," +and "virettas," the Woman's Congress considers matters which have an +immediate practical bearing on the welfare of human beings. While the +community is working away at the surface, with its prisons, its +police, its hangmen, its societies for the suppression of vice, its +schools for reform, its homes for the fallen (no doubt often with good +results), the Woman's Congress strikes at the foundation, and by +pointing out "The Influence of Literature upon Crime," and the telling +effect of "Pre-natal Influences," suggests how vice may be prevented, +character right-formed, and humanity kept from falling. It inquires, +"How can Woman best oppose Intemperance?" It considers those two vast +underlying subjects, "The Education of Women," and "The Physical +Education of our Girls;" while it by no means overlooks those +unfortunates whom society sets apart, and labels "fallen women." + +In regard to our problem, if any light has been thrown, if, "the word" +has been guessed, I should say "the word" is +"enlightenment,"--enlightenment of the community as to the requirements +of woman's mission, enlightenment of woman herself as a preparation +for that mission. What say you, friends? Shall our women receive +such enlightenment? and shall it come in to the finishing or +supplementary part of their education (so called)? + +True, this will cause innovations; but is it _therefore_ +objectionable? No one will call our present system of education a +perfect one; why, then, should there not be innovations? "Why, +indeed," asks a writer in "The Atlantic," "except that the training of +their children is the last thing about which parents and communities +will exert themselves to vigorous thought and independent action? No +more striking proof of the inertia of the human mind can be found," he +says, "than the fact... that for many generations the true philosophy +of teaching has had its prophets and apostles, and yet that +substantially we are training our children in the same old blundering +way." The fault of this "old blundering way," it seems to me, is its +one-sidedness. It educates only the intellect. Is this the right way? +Surely the moral nature is also educable. Indeed, if the mind is +trained to act energetically, so much more should the moral sense be +trained to control the workings of that mind. Then, since the world, +we hope, is outgrowing battles, why is it considered _essential_ +that we inform ourselves so particularly, so minutely, so +statistically, concerning battles fought so long, long, long ago? Does +the process hasten on the time of beating swords into ploughshares? +Suppose each generation, as it comes on to the stage, does inform +itself thus minutely: what, in the long-run, does humanity gain +thereby? + +But these considerations open up subjects too vast and too important +to be even mentioned in these closing chapters. Will not you who know +the inevitable influence of the mother upon her children,--will you +not see to it that some portion of the time devoted to her education +is spent in preparing her for her life-work? Can you think of any +surer way than this by which good citizens may be raised up for our +country? Wickedness abounds. It is omnipresent. Every day,--yes, twice +a day,--the newspapers bring us tidings of corruption, fraud, villany, +not only in low places, but in high places; in exceedingly high +places. Crime is on the increase. Public officials, supported and +trusted by the people, hesitate not to defraud the people. Individuals +in good and regular standing socially and religiously, church-members, +sabbath-school teachers, defraud their nearest friends. + +Nobody can tell whom to trust. If, then, neither church, nor state, +nor social position, nor any outside influence, has power to make men +honest, where shall we look for such power? We must look to an inside +influence. The restraining power, in order to be effective in all +cases, must proceed from the character of the individual; and the +character of the individual is formed to a very great degree by early +training; and early training comes from--women. So here we are again +down to our working ground. + +Let us hope that innovations will be made. Let us hope that at no +distant day it will be thought as important for a young person to be +made a good member of society as to be able to cipher in the "rule of +three," in "alligation medial" and "alligation alternate." A recent +writer, a professor in the University of Pennsylvania, urges "the +importance of incorporating into our public school systems such +studies and such training as will tend to educate men for their place +in the body politic." He says, "A line of teaching which concerns +matters of more importance to society than all the ordinary branches +of knowledge put together is allowed to have no formal provision made +for it." This writer recommends the study of biographies. In Locke's +system good principles were to be cared for first, intellectual +activity next, and actual knowledge last of all. + +Suppose the young women of thirty years ago had been thoroughly +instructed in hygienic laws: would not the effects of such instruction +be perceptible in our present health-rates and death-rates? Let us +begin now to affect the health-rates and death-rates of thirty years +hence. And it will do no harm to instruct young men also in such +matters. Even while I am writing these pages, a State Board of Health +report comes to me, in which it is shown by facts and figures how our +death-rates are affected by ignorance,--ignorance as exhibited in the +locating, building, and ventilating of dwelling-houses, drainage, +situation of wells, planting of trees, choice of food and cooking of +the same, as well as in the management of children. Can any subjects +comprised in any school course compare in importance with these? For +humanity's sake, let our young people take time enough from their +geographies and Latin dictionaries to learn how to keep themselves +alive! It is possible too, that, if the young women of thirty years +ago had been enlightened on the subject of moral and mental training, +our present crime rates might be less than they are, and dishonesty +and dishonor in high places and in low places be less frequent. + +Mr. Whittier tells the story of a man in a certain town, who desired +the removal of an old building--an almshouse, I think--from a certain +locality. As the quickest way of accomplishing this, he gave a man a +dollar a day on condition that this man should do nothing else but +talk from morning to night with various people on the subject of +having that building moved. And it was moved. The old building we have +to move is made up of prejudices, ignorance, settled opinions, and +firmly-established customs, and it is therefore quite time we were +beginning our work. Remember the tremendous importance of our object. +An Englishman, Lord Rosebury, in a recent address, insists on a +special preparation for the hereditary rulers who sit in Parliament; +and, if those who are to rule mind need this, how much more do they +need it who are to stamp mind, and give it its first direction! Horace +Mann shall close this chapter with one of his impressive sentences. +Says this truly great man, "If we fasten our eyes upon the effects +which education may throw forward into immortal destinies, it is then +that we are awed, amazed, overpowered, by the thought that we have +been placed in a system where the soul's eternal flight may be made +higher or lower by those who plume its tender wings, and direct its +early course. Such is the magnitude, the transcendence, of this +subject." + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY. + + +Some persons have asked, after hearing or reading the foregoing +suggestions, "Do not _men_ also work too much and read too +little? Is not the influence of _fathers_ on their children to be +considered? Should not _fathers_ be educated for their vocation?" +To these questions there can be but one answer. Yes! and the yes +cannot be too emphatic. But the paper which formed the nucleus of +these chapters was written by a woman at the request of women, to be +read before a woman's club assembled to consider the question, "How +shall the mother obtain culture?" The very fact that such a question +had suggested itself to them, shows that women feel the need of more +than their present opportunities for culture. If men feel this need, +there is nothing to prevent them from assembling to discuss their +unsatisfactory condition, to devise ways of improving it, to consider +their responsibilities, and to inquire how they shall best qualify +themselves to fulfil the duties of their vocation. The writer is under +the impression that men's clubs do not meet especially with a view to +such discussions. + +The following paragraphs comprise the first part of a letter published +in "The New York Tribune." + +"These letters will speak to the hearts of thousands of women all +through the country, and particularly to the women "out West," as they +have already to my own. This problem has been revolved in my mind +again and again, but no clew has appeared by which to solve it; and I +have laid it down hopelessly, feeling that there is no alternative but +to submit and carry the burden as long as strength endures, and seeing +no outlook for the future but in a brief period of old age, when care +and labor must come on younger shoulders. + +"I want to speak only of the condition of women with whom I am best +acquainted,--the wives of farmers in this part of Illinois. Many +instances I have known of women who received in the East an education +in some cases superior to that of their husbands, but a life of +constant care and drudgery has caused them to lose, instead of gain in +mental culture, while the husbands have grown away from them; and it +is only in subjects of a lower nature that they have a common +interest. A man, in his every-day intercourse with other men, and his +business calls into all kinds of places and scenes, must be a fool not +to receive new ideas, not to become more intelligent on many subjects. +But what can be expected of the wife, almost always at home in the +isolated farm-house, in a sparsely settled community, and if poor and +struggling with debt, as many are, with no reading except, one or two +newspapers? If she had a library of books, it would make but little +difference, for she has no time to read them. All through the Western +country there is an absolute dearth of women's "help." "A girl" can +hardly be obtained for love or money. Girls in towns or cities will +not go into the country, and country girls are too independent. If +they have a father's house, they will not leave it for any length of +time, as actual want is not known here in the country. Within a radius +of five miles in every direction from my home, where I have lived +eight years, I have never known or heard of a family or person +suffering for any thing to eat, drink, or wear; and have never had a +call for help in that direction. A house-mother of my acquaintance, +whose husband owns a "section" farm, suffers much from illness, and +has a large family, yet for months has been without any help in her +work but that of her little girls,--the oldest not over +twelve,--simply because she could not get a servant. The farmers +themselves are under less necessity to labor than in many other parts +of the country. Farms are comparatively large, and produce large +crops, and it pays them to hire laborers. Many farmers work in the +field very little, while the wife and mother does the housework not +only for her own family, but for from one to three laborers. During +the rush of crop raising and harvesting, from April to August, she +must be up at four in the morning, and she cannot have her supper +until the farm work is all done; and by the time her children are put +to bed, the milk cared for, and dishes washed, it is nine o'clock or +after. It is hard for a woman who is hungry for reading to see how +much leisure even "hired men" have to read,--their winter and rainy +days, their long noonings and evenings, and odd bits of time, while +she has comparatively none." + +It seems, then, that it is with women as with men: at the West too few +workers for the work, at the East too little work for the workers. +Now, in the case of the men, there is a regularly organized plan to +bring the workers to the work. Laborers are taken from the East where +they stand in each other's way, and carried to the West where their +services are needed. Why not have some arrangement of this kind for +the women? In the present condition of things, destitute women and +girls congregate in our cities, and in dull seasons depend on charity +for their daily food. In Boston, during the last winter, this +charitable feeding was reduced to a system, and, according to +published reports, immense numbers were thus supplied with food. It +seems a pity that women and girls should starve or live on charity in +our cities, while so many families in the West are suffering for their +help. Can there not be some concerted plan between these widely +separated sections of the country whereby at least a portion of our +destitute ones can be conveyed to the West, and there provided with +comfortable homes? + +By private letters received from "Tribune" readers living in different +parts of the country, it appears that many thoughtful people are +considering our problem, and devising ways of solving it. One of these +letters says, "You sprinkle rose water where you should pour +aquafortis. You say husbands '_don't know_' that their wives are +overworked. The truth is, they don't care." The writer recommends that +the laws be so altered as to make second marriages illegal, assuming +that, if a man could have only one wife, he would take good care of +that one. This is an unpleasant view of the case, and would not be +presented here, only that, from the earnest downrightness of the +letter, it seems probable that its writer speaks from knowledge, and +represents a class,--a small one, let us hope. + +Three private letters, coming one from the South, one from the East, +and one from the West, declare that woman's present state of +invalidism and thraldom to labor is occasioned by the too frequent +recurrence of the duties and exhaustive demands of maternity. The +writers of the letters affirm, that, in these matters, women are often +made the slaves of sensual husbands, and earnestly entreat that this +shall be mentioned among the "causes of the present state of things." + +The only sure and lasting remedy for the above-mentioned evils, and +others similar to them, is a wise education. When man is wisely +educated, and not till then, will he have a proper consideration for +woman. + + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Domestic Problem, by Abby Morton Diaz + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + +***** This file should be named 6704.txt or 6704.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/6/7/0/6704/ + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. 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Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: A Domestic Problem + +Author: Abby Morton Diaz + +Release Date: October, 2004 [EBook #6704] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on January 17, 2003] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + + + + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. +This file was produced from images generously made available +by the CWRU Preservation Department Digital Library + + + + + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + + + +_Work and Culture in the Household_ + + +by + +MRS. A. M. DIAZ + +AUTHOR OF "THE SCHOOLMASTER'S TRUNK," ETC. + +1895 + + + +CONTENTS. + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION." + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED. + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE. + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY + + + + +A DOMESTIC PROBLEM + +_WORK AND CULTURE IN THE HOUSEHOLD_. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +TAKING A VIEW OF THE SITUATION. + + +Our problem is this: How may woman enjoy the delights of culture, and +at the same time fulfil her duties to family and household? Perhaps it +is not assuming too much to say, that, in making known the existence +of such a problem, we have already taken the first step toward its +solution, just as a ship's crew in distress take the first step toward +relief by making a signal which calls attention to their needs. + +The next step--after having, as we may say, set our flag at +half-mast--is one which, if all we hear be true, should come easily to +women in council, namely, talking. And talking we must have, even if, +as in the social game called "Throwing Light," much of it is done at a +venture. In that interesting little game, after a few hints have been +given concerning "the word," different members of the company begin at +once to talk about it, and think about it, and suggest and hazard +descriptive remarks, according to the idea each has formed of it; that +is, they try, though in the dark, to "throw light." As the interest +increases, the excitement becomes intense. Many of the ideas expressed +are absurdly wide of the mark, yet even these help to show what the +answer is not; and often, by their coming in contact, a light is +struck which helps amazingly. And so, in regard to our problem, we +have the hints; then why not begin at once to think about it, and talk +about it, and suggest, and guess, and throw light with all our might? +No matter if we even get excited, say absurd things, say utterly +preposterous things, make blunders. Blunders are to be expected. Let +them fly right and left; by hitting together right smartly they may +strike out sparks which shall help us find our way. + +We all have heard of the frank country girl who said to her bashful +lover, "Do say something, if it isn't quite so bright!" This, +doubtless, is what every thoughtful woman, if she expressed the +sincere desire of her heart regarding our perplexing question, would +say to all other women; and it is to comply with that wish, partly +expressed to me, that I have gathered up from chance observation, +chance reading, and hearsay, some ideas bearing on the subject. +Suppose we begin by looking about us, and making clear to our minds +just what this state of things is, which, because it hinders culture, +many deem so unsatisfactory. After that, we will consider its causes, +reasons for changing it, and the way or ways out of it. + +A few, a very few, of our women are able to live and move and have +their being literally regardless of expense. These can buy of skilled +assistants and competent supervisors, whole lifetimes of leisure; with +these, therefore, our problem has no concern. The larger class, the +immense majority, either do their work themselves, or attend +personally to its being done by others; "others" signifying that +inefficient, untrustworthy, unstable horde who come fresh from their +training in peat-bog and meadow, to cook our dinners, take care of our +china dishes, and adjust the nice little internal arrangements of our +dwellings. + +Observing closely the lives of the immense majority, I think we shall +see, that, in conducting their household affairs, the object they have +in view is one and the same. I think we shall see that they all +strive, some by their own labors wholly, the rest by covering over and +piecing out the shortcomings of "help," to present a smooth, agreeable +surface to husbands and company. This smooth, agreeable surface may be +compared to a piece of mosaic work composed of many parts. Of the +almost infinite number of those parts, and of the time, skill, and +labor required to adjust them, it hath not entered, it cannot enter, +into the heart of man to conceive. + +I wonder how long it would take to name, just merely to name, all the +duties which fall upon the woman who, to use a common phrase, and a +true one, carries on the family. Suppose we try to count them, one by +one. Doing this will help to give us that clear view of the present +state of things which it is our present object to obtain; though the +idea reminds me of what the children used to say when I was a child, +"If you count the stars you'll drop down dead,"--a saying founded, +probably, on the vastness of the undertaking compared with human +endurance. It certainly cannot be called trivial to enumerate the +duties to which woman consecrates so large a portion of her life, +especially when we remember that into each and all of these duties she +has to carry her mind. Where woman's mind must go, woman's mind or +man's mind, should not scorn to follow. So let us make the attempt; +and we need not stand upon the order of our counting, but begin +anywhere. + +Setting tables; clearing them off; keeping lamps or gas-fixtures in +order; polishing stoves, knives, silverware, tinware, faucets, knobs, +&c.; washing and wiping dishes; taking care of food left at meals; +sweeping, including the grand Friday sweep, the limited daily sweep, +and the oft-recurring dustpan sweep; cleaning paint; washing +looking-glasses, windows, window-curtains; canning and preserving +fruit; making sauces and jellies, and "catchups" and pickles; making +and baking bread, cake, pies, puddings; cooking meats and vegetables; +keeping in nice order beds, bedding, and bedchambers; arranging +furniture, dusting, and "picking up;" setting forth, at their due +times and in due order, the three meals; washing the clothes; ironing, +including doing up shirts and other "starched things;" taking care of +the baby, night and day; washing and dressing children, and regulating +their behavior, and making or getting made, their clothing, and seeing +that the same is in good repair, in good taste, spotless from dirt, +and suited both to the weather and the occasion; doing for herself +what her own personal needs require; arranging flowers; entertaining +company; nursing the sick; "letting down" and "letting out" to suit +the growing ones; patching, darning, knitting, crocheting, braiding, +quilting,--but let us remember the warning of the old saying, and +forbear in time. + +This, however, is only a general enumeration. This is counting the +stars by constellations. Examining closely these items: we shall find +them made up each of a number of smaller items, and each of these +again of items still smaller. What seem homogeneous are heterogeneous; +what seem simple are complex. Make a loaf of bread. That has a simple +sound, yet the process is complex. First, hops, potatoes, flour, +sugar, water, salt, in right proportions for the yeast. The yeast for +raising the yeast must be in just the right condition, and added when +the mixture is of just the right temperature. In "mixing up" bread, +the temperature of the atmosphere must be considered, the temperature +of the water, the situation of the dough. The dough must rise quickly, +must rise just enough and no more, must be baked in an oven just hot +enough and no hotter, and must be "tended" while baking. + +Try clearing off tables. Remove food from platters, care for the +remnants, see that nothing is wasted, scrape well every plate, arrange +in piles, carry out, wash in soap and water, rinse in clear water, +polish with dry cloth, set away in their places,--three times a day. + +Taking care of the baby frequently implies carrying the child on one +arm while working with the other, and this often after nights made +sleepless by its "worrying." "I've done many a baking with a child on +my hip," said a farmer's wife in my hearing. + +But try now the humblest of household duties, one that passes for just +nothing at all; try dusting. "Take a cloth, and brush the dust +off,"--stated in this general way, how easy a process it seems! The +particular interpretation, is that you move, wipe, and replace every +article in the room, from the piano down to the tiniest ornament; that +you "take a cloth," and go over every inch of accessible surface, +including panelling, mop-boards, window frames and sashes, +looking-glass-frames, picture-frames and cords, gas or lamp fixtures; +reaching up, tiptoeing, climbing, stooping, kneeling, taking care that +not even in the remotest corner shall appear one inch of undusted +surface which any slippered individual, leaning back in his arm-chair, +can spy out. + +These are only a few examples; but a little observation and an +exceedingly little experience will show the curious inquirer that +there is scarcely one of the apparently simple household operations +which cannot be resolved and re-resolved into minute component parts. +Thus dusting, which seems at first to consist of simply a few brushes +with a cloth or bunch of feathers, when analyzed once, is found to +imply the careful wiping of every article in the room, and of all the +woodwork; analyzed again, it implies following the marks of the +cabinet-maker's tools in every bit of carving and grooving; analyzed +again, introducing a pointed stick under the cloth in turning corners. +In fact, the investigator of household duties must do as does a +distinguished scientist in analyzing matter,--"continue the process of +dividing as long as the parts can be discerned," and then "prolong the +vision backward across the boundary of experimental evidence." And, if +brave enough to attempt to count them, he must bear in mind that what +appear to be blank intervals, or blurred, nebulous spaces, are, in +reality, filled in with innumerable little duties which, through the +glass of observation, may be discerned quite plainly. Let him also +bear in mind, that these household duties must be done over and over, +and over and over, and as well, each time, as if done to last forever; +and, above all, that they every one require mind. + +Many a common saying proves this last point. "Put your mind on your +work." "Your mind must be where your work is." "She's a good hand to +take hold, but she hasn't any calculation." "She doesn't know how to +forecast her work." "She doesn't know how to forelay." "Nancy's +gittin' past carryin' her mind inter her work. Wal, I remember when I +begun to git past carryin' my mind inter my work," said an old woman +of ninety, speaking of her sixty-years-old daughter. The old couplet, + + "Man works from rise till set of sun, + But woman's work is never done,"-- + +tells the truth. "Woman's work," as now arranged, is so varied, so +all-embracing, that it cannot be "done." For every odd moment some +duty lies in wait. And it is generally the case, that these multi-form +duties press for performance, crowds of them at once. "So many things +to be done right off, that I don't know which to take hold of first." +"'Tis just as much as I can do to keep my head above water." "Oh, +dear! I can't see through!" "My work drives me." "I never know what +'tis not to feel hurried." "The things I can't get done tire me more +than the things I do." Such remarks have a meaning. + +And those who keep "a girl" have almost equal difficulty in always +presenting the smooth, agreeable surface just now spoken of. With the +greater ability to hire help comes usually the desire to live in more +expensive houses, and to furnish the same with more costly furniture. +Every article added is a care added, and the nicer the article the +nicer the care required. More, also, is demanded of these in the way +of appearance, style, and social civilities; and the wear and tear of +superintending "a girl" should by no means be forgotten. At any rate, +the complaint, "no time to read," is frequent among women, and is not +confined to any one class. + +We see, then, that in the present state of things it is impossible for +woman--that is, the family woman, the house-mother--to enjoy the +delights of culture. External activities, especially the two +insatiable, all-devouring ones which know neither end nor +beginning,--housework and sewing-work,--these demand her time, her +energies, in short, demand herself,--the whole of her. Yes, the whole, +and more too; there is not enough of her to go round. There might +possibly be enough, and even something left to spend on culture, were +she in sound physical condition; but, alas! a healthy woman is +scarcely to be found. This point, namely, the prevailing invalidism of +woman, will come up for consideration by and by, when we inquire into +the causes of the present state of things. It is none too early, +however, to make a note of what some physicians say in regard to it. +"Half of all who are born," says one medical writer, "die under twenty +years of age; while four-fifths of all who reach that age, and die +before another score, owe their death to causes which were originated +in their teens. This is a fact of startling import to fathers and +mothers, and shows a fearful responsibility." Another medical writer +says, "Beside the loss of so many children (nearly twenty-five per +cent), society suffers seriously from those who survive, their health +being irremediably injured while they are still infants.... Ignorance +and injudicious nursery management lie at the root of this evil." + +We must be sure not to forget that this prevailing invalidism of +women, which is one hinderance to their obtaining culture, can be +traced directly back to the ignorance of mothers, for this point has +an important bearing on the solution of our problem. + + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +ONE CAUSE OF THE SITUATION.--A PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION" CONSIDERED. + + +The question, How may work and culture be combined? was recently +submitted, in my hearing, to a highly intelligent lady. She answered +with a sigh, "It can't be done. I've tried it; but, as things are now, +it can't be done." By "as things are now" she meant, with the +established ideas regarding dress, food, appearance, style, and the +objects for which woman should spend her time and herself. Suppose we +investigate the causes of the present state of things, which, as being +a hinderance to culture, is to us so unsatisfactory. A little +reflection will enable us to discover several. Chief among them all, I +think, is one which may require close inspection before it is +recognized to be such. It seems to me that the great underlying +cause--the cause of all the other causes--is the want of insight, the +unenlightemnent, which prevails concerning, not what woman's mission +is, but the ways and means by which she is to accomplish it. Let us +consider this. + +Those who claim the right of defining it never can say often enough +that the true, mission of woman is to train up her children rightly, +and to make home happy; and no doubt we all agree with them. But have +we, or have they, a full sense of what woman requires to fit her even +for the first of these duties? Suppose a philosopher in disguise on a +tour of observation from some distant isle or planet should favor us +with a visit. He finds himself, we will say, on a spot not a hundred +miles from New York or Boston or Chicago. Among the objects which +attract his attention are the little children drawn along in their +little chaises. + +"Are these beautiful creatures of any value?" he asks of a bystander. + +"Certainly. They are the hope of the country. They will grow up into +men and women who will take our places." + +"I suppose there is no danger of their growing up any other than the +right kind of men and women, such as your country needs?" + +"On the contrary, there is every danger. Evil influences surround them +from their birth. These beautiful creatures have in them the +possibilities of becoming mean, base, corrupt, treacherous, deceitful, +cruel, false, revengeful; of becoming, in fact, unworthy and repulsive +in many ways. Why, all our criminals, our drunkards, liars, thieves, +burglars, murderers, were once innocent little children like these!" + +"And whether these will become like those, or not, depends on chance?" + +"Oh, no! It depends largely on training, especially on early training. +Children are like wax to receive impressions, like marble to retain +them." + +"Are they constituted pretty nearly alike, so that the treatment which +is best for one is best for all?" + +"By no means. Even those in the same family are often extremely +unlike. They have different temperaments, dispositions, propensities. +Some require urging, others checking. Some do better with praise, +others without; the same of blame. It requires thought and discernment +to know what words to speak, how many to speak, and when to speak +them. In fact, a child's nature is a piece of delicate, complex +machinery, and each one requires a separate study; for, as its springs +of action are concealed, the operator is liable at any time to touch +the wrong one." + +"And mistakes here will affect a child through its whole lifetime?" + +"They will affect it through all eternity." "But who among you dare +make these early impressions which are to be so enduring? Who are the +operators on these delicate and complex pieces of mental machinery?" + +"Oh! the mothers always have the care of the children. This is their +mission,--the chief duty of their lives." + +"But how judicious, how comprehensive, must be the course of education +which will fit a person for such an office!" + +"Do you think so? Hem! Well, it is not generally considered that a +woman who is going to marry and settle down to family life needs much +education." + +"You mean, doubtless, that she only receives the special instruction +which her vocation requires." + +"Special instruction?" + +"Yes. If woman's special vocation is the training of children, of +course she is educated specially with a view to that vocation." + +"Well, I never heard of such a kind of education. But here is one of +our young mothers: she can tell you all about it." + +We will suppose, now, that our philosopher is left with the young +mother, who names over what she learned at the "institute." + +"And the training of children--moral, intellectual, and physical--was +no doubt made a prominent subject of consideration." + +"Training of children? Oh, no! That would have been a curious kind of +study." + +"Where, then, were you prepared for the duties of your mission?" + +"What mission do you mean?" + +"Your mission of child-training." + +"I had no preparation." + +"No preparation? But are you acquainted with the different +temperaments a child may have, and the different combinations of them? +Are you competent to the direction and culture of the intellectual and +moral nature? Have you skill to touch the hidden springs of action? +Have you, thus uninstructed, the power, the knowledge, the wisdom, +requisite for guiding that mighty force, a child's soul?" + +"Alas! there is hardly a day that I do not feel my ignorance on all +these points." + +"Are there no sources from which knowledge may be obtained? There must +be books written on these subjects." + +"Possibly; but I have no time to read them." + +"No time?--no time to prepare for your chief mission?" + +"It is our mission only in print. In real life it plays an extremely +subordinate part." + +"What, then, in real life, is your mission?" + +"Chiefly cooking and sewing." + +"Your husband, then, does not share the common belief in regard to +woman's chief duty." + +"Oh, yes! I have heard him express it many a time; though I don't +think he comprehends what a woman needs in order to do her duty by her +children. But he loves them dearly. If one should die he would be +heart-broken." + +"Is it a common thing here for children to die?" + +"I am grieved to say that nearly one-fourth die in infancy." + +"And those who live,--do they grow up in full health and vigor?" + +"Oh, indeed they do not! Why, look at our crowded hospitals! Look at +the apothecaries' shops at almost, every corner. Look at the +advertisements of medicines. Don't you think there's meaning in these, +and a meaning in the long rows of five-story swell-front houses +occupied by physicians, and a meaning in the people themselves? +There's scarcely one of them but has some ailment." + +"But is this matter of health subject to no laws?" + +"The phrase, 'laws of health,' is a familiar one, but I don't know +what those laws are." "Mothers, then, are not in the habit of teaching +them to their children?" + +"They are not themselves acquainted with them." + +"Perhaps this astonishing ignorance has something to do with the +fearful mortality among infants. Do not husbands provide their wives +with books and other means of information on this subject?" + +"Generally speaking, they do nothing of the kind." + +"And does not the subject of hygienic laws, as applied to the rearing +of children, come into the courses of study laid out for young women!" + +"No, indeed. Oh, how I wish it had!--and those other matters you +mentioned. I would give up every thing else I ever learned for the +sake of knowing how to bring up my children, and how to keep them in +health." + +"The presidents and professors of your educational institutions,--do +they share the common belief as to woman's mission?" + +"Oh, yes! They all say that the chief business of woman is to train up +her children." + +(_Philosopher's solo_.) + +"There seems to be blindness and stupidity somewhere among these +people. From what they say of the difficulty of bringing up their +children, it must take an archangel to do it rightly; still they do +not think a woman who is married and settles down to family life needs +much education! Moreover, in educating young women, that which is +universally acknowledged to be the chief business of their lives +receives not the least attention." + +If our philosopher continued his inquiries into the manners and +customs of our country, he must have felt greatly encouraged; for he +would have found that it is only in this one direction that we show +such blindness and stupidity. He would have found that in every other +occupation we demand preparation. The individual who builds our ships, +cuts our coats, manufactures our watches, superintends our machinery, +takes charge of our cattle, our trees, our flowers, must know how, +must have been especially prepared for his calling. It is only +character-moulding, only shaping the destinies of immortal beings, for +which we demand neither preparation nor a knowledge of the business. +It is only of our children that we are resigned to lose nearly +one-fourth by death, "owing to ignorance and injudicious nursery +management." Were this rate of mortality declared to exist among our +domestic animals, the community would be aroused at once. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +CULTURE PROVED TO BE A NEED OF THE CHILD-TRAINER. + + +Perhaps some day the community may come to perceive that woman +requires for her vocation what the teacher, the preacher, the lawyer, +and the physician, require for theirs; namely, special preparation and +general culture. The first, because every vocation demands special +preparation; and the second, because, to satisfy the requirements of +young minds, she will need to draw from almost every kind of +knowledge. And we must remember here, that the advantages derived from +culture are not wholly an intellectual gain. We get from hooks and +other sources of culture not merely what informs the mind, but that +which warms the heart, quickens the sympathies, strengthens the +understanding; get clearness and breadth of vision, get refining and +ennobling influences, get wisdom in its truest and most comprehensive +sense; and all of these, the last more than all, a mother needs for +her high calling. That it is a high calling, we have high authority to +show. Dr. Channing says, "No office can compare in importance with +that of training a child." Yet the office is assumed without +preparation. + +Herbert Spencer asks, in view of this omission, "What is to be +expected when one of the most intricate of problems is undertaken by +those who have given scarcely a thought as to the principles on which +its solution depends? Is the unfolding of a human being so simple a +process that any one may superintend and regulate it with no +preparation whatever?... Is it not madness to make no provision for +such a task?" + +Horace Mann speaks out plainly, and straight to the point. "If she is +to prepare a refection of cakes, she fails not to examine some +cookery-book or some manuscript receipt, lest she should convert her +rich ingredients into unpalatable compounds; but without ever having +read one book upon the subject of education, without ever having +sought one conversation with an intelligent person upon it, she +undertakes so to mingle the earthly and celestial elements of +instruction for that child's soul that he shall be fitted to discharge +all duties below, and to enjoy all blessings above." And again, +"Influences imperceptible in childhood, work out more and more broadly +into beauty or deformity in after life. No unskilful hand should ever +play upon a harp where the tones are left forever in the strings." + +In a newspaper I find this amusingly significant sentence: +"Truthfully, indeed, do the Papists boast that the Episcopal Church is +training-ground for Rome. The female mind is frequently enticed by +display of vestments and music; and, if the Ritualists can pervert the +mothers, they know that the next generation is theirs." This is +significant, because it signifies that, however weak and easy of +enticement the "female mind" may be, it has a mighty power to +influence the young. + +But we can show not only opinions and prophecies, but the results of +actual scientific experiments. A recent number of "The Popular Science +Monthly" contains an account of experiments made in Jamaica upon the +mental capacity for learning of the different races there existing. +The experimenter found, he says, "unequal speed," but saw "nothing +which can be unmistakably referred to difference of race. The rate of +improvement is due almost entirely to the relative elevation of the +home circle in which the children live. Those who are restricted to +the narrowest gauge of intellectual exercise live in such a material +and coarse medium that their mental faculties remain slumbering; while +those who hear at home of many things, and are brought up to +intellectual employments, show a corresponding proficiency in +learning." + +This, and the editor's comments, bear directly on our side, that is to +say, the culture side. The editor says it is inevitable "that the +medium in which the child is habitually immersed, and by which it is +continually and unconsciously impressed, should have much greater +value in the formation of mental character than the mere lesson +experiences of school. Home education is, after all, the great fact; +and it is domestic influences by which the characters of children are +formed. Where men are exhausted by business, and women are exhausted +by society (or other means), we may be pretty sure that but little can +be done to shape and conduct the home with a reference to the higher +mental needs of the children who live in it." + +Now, who, more than any one, "shapes and conducts the home"? Who +creates these "domestic influences," this "medium in which the child +is habitually immersed"? Woman. In the name of common sense, then, +throw open to woman every avenue of knowledge. Surround her with all +that will elevate and refine. Give her the highest, broadest, truest +culture. Give her chances to draw inspiration from the beautiful in +nature and in art. And, above all, insure her some respite from labor, +and some tranquillity. Unless these conditions are observed, "but +little can be done to shape and conduct the home with reference to the +higher mental needs of the children who live in it." + +I once heard "Grace Greenwood" tell a little story which ought to come +in here, for our own object is to make out as strong a case as we +possibly can. We want to prove that mothers must have culture because +they are mothers. We want to show it to be absolutely necessary for +woman, in the accomplishment of her acknowledged mission. When this +fact is recognized, then culture will take rank with essentials, and +receive attention as such. + +"Grace Greenwood" said that a friend of hers, a teacher "out West," +had in her school four or five children from one family. The parents +were poor, ignorant, and of the kind commonly called low, coarse sort +of people. The children, with one exception, were stupid, +rough-mannered, and depraved. The one exception, a little girl, showed +such refinement, appreciation, and quickness of apprehension, that the +teacher at last asked the mother if she could account for the striking +difference between this child and its brothers and sisters. The mother +could not. The children had been brought up together there in that +lonely place, had been treated alike, and had never been separated. +She knew the little girl was very different from her brothers and +sisters, but knew not the reason why. The teacher then asked, "Was +there any thing in your mode of life for the months preceding her +birth, that there was not in the corresponding time before the births +of the others?" The mother at first answered decidedly that there was +nothing; but after thinking a few moments said, "Well, there was one, +a very small thing, but that couldn't have had any thing to do with +the matter. One day a peddler came along; and among his books was a +pretty, red-covered poetry book, and I wanted it bad. But my husband +said he couldn't afford it, and the peddler went off. I couldn't get +that book out of my mind; and in the night I took some of my own +money, and travelled on foot to the next town, found the peddler, +bought the book, and got back before morning, and was never missed +from the house. That book was the greatest comfort to me that ever +was. I read it over and over, up to the day my child was born." + +Also would come in well here that oft-told story of a pauper named +"Margaret," who was once "set adrift in a village of the county ... +and left to grow up as best she could, and from whom have descended +two hundred criminals. The, whole number of this girl's descendants, +through six generations, is nine hundred; and besides the 'two +hundred' a large number have been idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, +lunatics, and paupers." + +Friends, to say nothing of higher motives, would it not be good policy +to educate wisely every girl in the country? Are not mothers, as +child-trainers, in absolute need of true culture? In cases where +families depend on the labor of their girls, perhaps the State would +make a saving even by compensating these families for the loss of such +labor. Perhaps it would be cheaper, even in a pecuniary sense, for the +State to do this, than to support reformatory establishments, prisons, +almshouses, and insane-asylums, with their necessary retinues of +officials. Institutions in which these girls were educated might be +made self-supporting, and the course of instruction might include +different kinds of handicraft. + +It was poor economy for the State to let that pauper "grow up as best +she could." It would probably have been money in the State's pocket +had it surrounded "Margaret" in her early childhood with the choicest +productions of art, engaged competent teachers to instruct her in the +solid branches, in the accomplishments, in hygiene, in the principles +and practice of integrity, and then have given her particular +instruction in all matters connected with the training of children. +And had she developed a remarkable taste for painting, for modelling, +or for music, the State could better have afforded even sending her to +Italy, than to have taken care of those "two hundred criminals," +besides "a large number" of "idiots, imbeciles, drunkards, lunatics, +and paupers." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE OTHER PART OF "WOMAN'S MISSION."--RUFFLES VERSUS READING.--THE +CULTIVATION OF THE FINGERS. + + +Let us leave for a while this matter of child-training, and consider +the other part of woman's mission,--namely, "making home happy." It +would seem that even for this the wife should be at least the equal of +her husband in culture, in order that the two may be in sympathy. When +a loving couple marry, they unite their interests, and it is in this +union of interests that they find happiness. We often hear from a wife +or a husband remarks like these: "I only half enjoyed it, because he +(or she) wasn't there;" "It will be no pleasure to me unless he (or +she) is there too;" "The company were charming, but still I felt +lonesome there without him (or her)." The phrase "half enjoy" gives +the idea; for a sympathetic couple are to such a degree one that a +pleasure which comes to either singly can only be half enjoyed, and +even this half-joy is lessened by the consciousness of what the other +is losing. In a rather sarcastic article, taken from an English +magazine, occur a few sentences which illustrate this point very well. +The writer is describing a honeymoon:-- + +"The real difficulty is to be entertaining. The one thirst of the +young bride is for amusement, and she has no idea of amusing herself. +It is diverting to see the spouse of this ideal creature wend his way +to the lending library, after a week of idealism, and the relief with +which he carries home a novel. How often, in expectation, has he +framed to himself imaginary talks,--talk brighter and wittier than +that of the friends he forsakes! But conversation is difficult in the +case of a refined creature who is as ignorant as a Hottentot. He +begins with the new Miltonic poem, and finds she has never looked into +'Paradise Lost.' He plunges into the Reform Bill; but she knows +nothing of politics, and has never read a leading article in her life. +Then she tries him, in her turn, and floods him with the dead chat of +the town and an ocean of family tattle. He finds himself shut up for +weeks with a creature who takes an interest in nothing but Uncle +Crosspatch's temper and the scandal about Lady X. Little by little the +absolute pettiness, the dense dulness, of woman's life, breaks on the +disenchanted devotee. His deity is without occupation, without +thought, without resources. He has a faint faith in her finer +sensibility, in her poetic nature: he fetches his Tennyson from his +carpet-bag, and wastes 'In Memoriam' on a critic who pronounces it +pretty!" + +In cases of this kind, the half-joy is strikingly apparent. We see +that a husband possessing culture is likely to be lonesome among his +poets and his poetry, his works of reform, and his lofty ideas, +unless--she is there too. + +If it be said that learned women are prone to think lightly of home +comforts and home duties, to despise physical labor, to look down on +the ignorant, let us hasten to reply that learning is not culture, and +that we want not learned mothers, but enlightened mothers, wisely +educated mothers. And let us steadfastly and perseveringly assert that +enlightenment and a wise education are essential to the accomplishment +of the mother's mission. When the housefather feels the truth of this, +then shall we see him bringing home every publication he can lay his +hands on which treats intelligently of mental, moral, or physical +training. Then shall we hear him saying to the house-mother, "Cease, I +pray you, this ever-lasting toil. Read, study, rest. With your solemn +responsibilities, it is madness thus to spend yourself, thus to waste +yourself." In his home shall the true essentials assume that position +which is theirs by right, and certain occupations connected with that +clamorous square inch of surface in the upper part of the mouth shall +receive only their due share of attention. For in one way or another, +either by lessening the work or by hiring workers, the mother shall +have her leisure. + +And what will women, what will the house-mothers, do when they feel +this truth? Certainly not as they now do. Now it is their custom to +fill in every chink and crevice of leisure time with sewing. "Look," +said a young mother to me: "I made all these myself, when holding the +baby, or by sitting up nights." They were children's clothes, +beautifully made, and literally covered with ruffles and embroidery. +Oh the thousands of stitches! The ruffles ran up and down, and over +and across, and three times round. Being white, the garments were of +course changed daily. In the intervals of baby-tending, the mother +snatched a few minutes here and a few minutes there to starch, iron, +flute, or crimp a ruffle, or to finish off a dress of her own. This +"finishing off" was carried on for weeks. When her baby was asleep, or +was good, or had its little ruffles all fluted, and its little +sister's little ruffles were all fluted, then would she seize the +opportunity to stitch, to plait, to flounce, to pucker, and to braid. +Wherever a hand's breadth of the original material was left visible, +some bow, or band, or queer device, was fashioned and sewed on. This +zealous individual, by improving every moment, by sitting up nights, +by working with the baby across her lap, accomplished her task. The +dress was finished, and worn with unutterable complacency. It is this +last part which is the worst part. They have no misgivings, these +mothers. They expect your warm approval. "I can't get a minute's time +to read," said this industrious person; and, on another occasion, +"I'll own up, I don't know any thing about taking care of children." +Swift, speaking of women, said that they "employ more thought, memory, +and application to become fools than would serve to make them wise and +useful;" and perhaps he spoke truly. For suppose this young mother had +been as eager to gain ideas as she was to accomplish a bias band, a +French fold, or a flounce. Suppose that, in the intervals of +baby-tending, instead of fluting her little girls' ruffles and +embroidering their garments, she had tried to snatch some information +which would help her in the bringing up of those little girls. The +truth is, mothers take their leisure time for what seems to them to be +first in importance. It is easy to see what they consider essentials, +and what, from them, children are learning to consider essentials. The +"knowingness" of some of our children on subjects connected with dress +is simply appalling. A girl of eight or ten summers will take you in +at a glance, from topmost plume to boot-tap, by items and +collectively, analytically and synthetically. She discourses, in +technical terms, of the fall of your drapery,--the propriety of your +trimmings, and the effect of this, that, or the other. She has a +proper appreciation of what is French in your attire, and a proper +scorn of what is not. She recognizes "real lace" in a twinkle of her +eye, and "all wool" with a touch of her finger-tips. Plainly clad +school-children are often made to suffer keenly by the cutting remarks +of other school-children sumptuously arrayed. A little girl aged six, +returning from a child's party, exclaimed, "O mamma! What do you +think? Bessie had her dress trimmed with lace, and it wasn't real!" + +The law, "No child shall walk the street in a plain dress," is just as +practically a law as if it had been enacted by the legal authorities. +Mothers obey its high behests, and dare not rebel against it. Look at +our little girls going to school, each with her tucks and ruffles. Who +"gets time" to do all that sewing? where do they get it, and at what +sacrifices? A goodly number of stitches and moments go to the making +and putting on of even one ruffle on one skirt. Think of all the +stitches and moments necessary for the making and putting of all the +ruffles on all the skirts of the several little girls often belonging +to one family! What a prospect before her has a mother of little +girls! And there is no escape, not even in common sense. A woman +considered sensible in the very highest degree will dress her little +girl like other little girls, or perish in the attempt. How many do +thus perish, or are helped to perish, we shall never know. A frail, +delicate woman said to me one day, "Oh, I do hope the fashions will +change before Sissy grows up, for I don't see how it will be possible +for me to make her clothes." You observe her submissive, law-abiding +spirit. The possibility of evading the law never even suggests itself. +There is many a feeble mother of grown and growing "Sissys" to whom +the spring or fall dressmaking appears like an avalanche coming to +overwhelm her, or a Juggernaut coming to roll over her. She asks not, +"How shall I escape?" but, "How shall I endure?" Let her console +herself. These semi-annual experiences are all "mission." All sewing is +"mission;" all cooking is "mission." It matters not what she cooks, +nor what she sews. "Domestic," and worthy all praise, does the +community consider that woman who keeps her hands employed, and is +bodily present with her children inside the house. + +But her bodily presence, even with mother love and longing to do her +best, is not enough. There should be added two things,--knowledge and +wisdom. These, however, she does not have, because to obtain them are +needed what she does not get,--leisure, tranquillity, and the various +resources and appliances of culture; also because their importance is +not felt even by herself; also because the community does not yet see +that she has need of them. And this brings us round to the point we +started from,--namely, that the present unsatisfactory state of things +is owing largely to the want of insight, or _unenlightenment_, +which prevails concerning what woman needs and must have in order +rightly to fulfil her mission. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +OTHER CAUSES CONSIDERED.--MASCULINE IDEA OF WOMAN'S WORK. + + +Another supporting cause, as we may call it, of the existing state of +things is the ignorance of mankind concerning the cost of carrying on +the family,--not the cost to themselves in money, but the cost to +woman in endurance. Of its power to exhaust her vital forces they have +not the remotest idea. Each of its little ten-minute duties seems so +trifling that to call it work appears absurd. They do not reflect that +often a dozen of these ten-minute duties must be crowded into an hour +which holds but just six ten-minutes; that her day is crowded with +these crowded hours; that consequently she can never be free from +hurry, and that constant hurry is a constant strain upon her in every +way. They themselves, they think, could do up the work in half the +time, and not feel it a bit. Scarcely a man of them but thinks the +dishes might be just rinsed off under the faucet, and stood up to dry. +Scarcely a man of them who, if this were tried, would not cast more +than inquiring glances at his trencher; for it is always what is not +done that a man sees. If one chair-round escapes dusting, it is that +chair-round which he particularly notices. In his mind then are two +ideas: one is of the whole long day, the other of that infinitesimal +undone duty. The remark visible on his countenance is this: "The whole +day, and no time to dust a chair-round!" + + "The painful warrior famoused for fight, + After a thousand victories, once foiled, + Is from the book of honor razed quite, + And all the rest forgot for which _she_ toiled." + +Many a toiling housewife, warring against untidiness, has felt the +truth of these lines, though she may not have known that the great +poet embodied it in words. + +One mistake of man's is, that he does not look upon the tidy state of +a room as a result, but as one into which, if left to itself, it would +naturally fall and remain. We know, alas! too well, that every room +not only has within itself possibilities of untidiness, but that its +constant tendency is in that direction, which tendency can only be +checked by as constant a vigilance. Again, husbands do not always seem +to understand plain English. There are certain expressions in common +use among women, which, if husbands did understand plain English, +would make them sadder and wiser men. "I'm completely used up;" "I +never know what 'tis to feel rested;" "I'm too tired to sleep;" "I'm +as tired in the morning as when I go to bed;" "Every nerve in me +throbs so that I can't go to sleep;" "The life has all gone out of +me;" "I am crazed with cares;" "The care is worse than the work;" +"Nothing keeps that woman about the house but her ambition;" "It is +the excitement of work that keeps her up." Now, how is it that a woman +works on after she is completely used up? What is the substance, the +capacity of this "ambition" on which alone she lives? A friend of +mine, in answer to a suggestion that she should stop and take a few +days' rest, said, "I don't dare to stop. If I let down, if I give way +for ever so little while, I never could go on again." Think of living +always in this state of tension! The dictionary definition of +"tension" is "a peculiar, abnormal, constrained condition of the +parts, arising from the action of antagonistic forces, in which they +endeavor to return to their natural state." Exactly. There are +thousands of women in just this condition, sustained there by the +daily pressure and excitement of hurry, and by a stern, unyielding +"must." In the treadmill of their household labor, breakfast, dinner, +and supper revolve in ceaseless course, and they _must_ step +forward to meet them. And, when more of her vitality is expended daily +than is daily renewed by food and rest, woman does, actually and +without any figure of speech, use herself up. Yes, she burns herself +for fuel, and goes down a wreck,--not always to death; often it is to +a condition made wretched by suffering, sometimes to insanity. + +I would not have believed this last had I not found it in print. In an +English magazine occurs the following passage: "Some whose eyes follow +these lines will recollect disagreeable seasons when their attention +was distracted by conflicting cures and claims; when no one thing, +however urgent, could be finished, owing to the intrusion of one or +more inevitable distractions. A continued course of such inroads on +the mind's serenity could be supported but by few intellects. Most +pitiable is the mind's state after some hours of such distracting +occupation, in which every business interferes with every other, and +none is satisfactorily accomplished. Where there is a tendency to +insanity it is sure to be developed by such an undesirable state of +things." This is fitly supplemented by a statement made in an American +magazine: "We are told that the woman's wards in the New England +insane asylums are filled with middle-aged wives--mothers--driven +there by overwork and anxiety." + +Not long since, I heard Mr. Whittier tell the story of a woman who +attempted suicide by throwing herself into the water. "Discouragement" +was the reason she assigned for committing so dreadful a +deed,--discouragement at the never-ending routine of household labor, +and from feeling herself utterly unable to go on with it. This, with +care, want of recreation, and long confinement in-doors, had probably +caused temporary insanity. + +The "never-endingness" of woman's work is something to be considered. +A wide-awake writer, speaking of husbands and wives, says, "The +out-door air, the stir, the change of ideas, the passing word for this +man or that, unconsciously refresh, and lift him from the cankering +care of work.... His work may be heavier, but it wears him on one side +only. He has his hours sacred to business to give to his brief, his +sermon, his shop. There is no drain on the rest of his faculties. She +has not a power of mind, a skill of body, which her daily life does +not draw upon. She asks nothing better of fate than that whatever +strength she has of body and mind shall be drained for her husband and +children. Now, this spirit of martyrdom is a very good thing when it +is necessary. For our part, we see no occasion for it here." This is +the point exactly. The "martyrdom," too often, is for objects not of +the highest importance. The lack of appreciation of woman's work, as +shown by man-kind in the newspapers, would be amusing, were it not +saddening. Articles, dictating with solemn pomposity "what every +married woman should be able to do," often appear in print, and these +embodiments of (masculine) wisdom editors are eager to copy. "Every +married woman should be able to cut and make her own, her husband's, +and her children's clothes." The husband reads,--aloud of course, this +time,--and nods approval. "To be sure, that would make a saving." The +wife hears, and sighs, and perhaps blames herself that on account of +her incapacity money is wasted. What the newspaper says must be true. +Perhaps by sitting up later, by getting up earlier, by hurrying more, +and by never setting her foot outside the door, she might follow this +suggestion. "Every married woman" whose boys take to reading should +snip such newspaper articles into shreds, burn them up, and bury the +ashes. + +Another cause of the present state of things is the lowness of the +standard which has been set up for woman to attain. We have glanced at +some of the things which are expected of the woman who carries on the +family. What is not expected is a point of no less significance. +Neither husbands nor company claim the right to expect, in that +smooth, agreeable surface mentioned at the beginning, the results of +mental culture. They may be gratified at finding them; but so long as +the woman is amiable, thrifty, efficient, and provides three good +meals every day, they feel bound not to complain. Here are the ten +"Attributes of a Wife," as grouped by one of the world's famous +writers: note what he allots to education: "Four to good temper, two +to good sense, one to wit, one to beauty; the remaining two to be +divided among other qualities, as fortune, connection, education or +accomplishments, family, and so on. Divide these two parts as you +please, these minor proportions must all be expressed by fractions. +Not one among them is entitled to the dignity of an integer." + +The prevalent belief that woman is in some degree subordinate to man, +is rather taken for granted than expressly taught, as witness a +certain kind of legend often told to young girls: "Once upon a time a +young man, visiting a strange house, saw a damsel putting dough into +pans, and saw that the dough which stuck to the platter was left +sticking there; whereupon the young man said, 'This is not the wife +for me.'" In another house he sees a damsel who leaves not the dough +which sticks to the platter; and he says, "This is the wife for me." +Another young man offers to successive maidens a skein of tangled silk +to wind. The first says, "I can't;" the second tries, and gives up; +the third makes a quick job of it with her scissors; the fourth spends +hours in patiently, untangling, and is chosen. Now, what shows the +state of public sentiment is the fact that in none of these legends is +it intimated that the young man was fortunate in securing a thrifty or +a patient wife. It was the thrifty or patient young woman who was +fortunate in being selected by a young man,--by any young man; for the +character of the youth is never stated. There is an inference, also, +in the second one given, that the "hours" of a young woman can be +employed to no better purpose than that of untangling a skein of silk. +All this is throwing light on our problem, for so long as so much is +expected of woman physically, and so little in the way of mental +acquirements; so long as it is taken for granted that she is a +subordinate being, that to contribute to the physical comfort and +pleasure of man, and gain his approval, are the highest purposes of +her existence,--it will not be considered essential that she should +acquire culture. These aims are by no means unimportant ones, or +unworthy ones; but are they in all cases the highest a woman should +possess? + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +REASONS FOR A CHANGE.--THE EARLY TRAINING OP WOMEN.--COMMON +FALLACIES.--THE EDUCATION OF MOTHERS. + + +Having glanced at the present state of things, and at some of its +causes, let us show reasons why it should be changed. + +A sufficient reason is, because it dwarfs the intellect, ruins the +health, and shortens the lives, of so many women. Another reason is, +that whereas the husband may keep himself informed on matters of +general interest in literature, art, science, and progress, while the +wife must give her mind to domestic activities, there is danger of the +two growing apart, which growing apart is destructive of that perfect +sympathy so essential to the happiness of married life. A certain +librarian remarked. "If a man wants a book for himself, I pick out a +solid work; if for his wife, a somewhat light and trifling one." +Third, because human beings have so much in common, are so closely +connected, that the good of all requires the good of each, and each of +all. And here is where the shortsightedness of the aristocracy of +wealth and the aristocracy of sex are strikingly apparent. They fail +to see that the very inferiority of what are called the inferior +classes re-acts on the superior classes. We all know how it is in the +human body. An injury to one small bone in the foot may cause distress +which shall be felt "all over," and shall disturb the operations of +the lordly brain itself. So in the body social. The wealthy and +refined, into whose luxurious dwellings enters no unsightly, no +uncleanly object, may say to themselves, "Never mind those poor +wretches down at the other end, huddled together in their filthy +tenements. They are ignorant, they don't know how to get along; but +their condition doesn't concern us, so long as our houses are light, +clean, and airy." + +Those poor wretches, however, because they are ignorant, because they +don't know how "to get along," because they live huddled together in +filthy tenements, breathing foul air, starving on bad food, become a +ready prey to infectious diseases. The infectious diseases spread. Men +of wealth, from the refined and cleanly quarters, encounter in their +business walks representatives from the degraded and disgusting +quarter, and take from them the seeds of those diseases; or, on some +fatal day, a miasma from the corruption of the degraded quarter is +wafted in at the windows of the luxurious dwellings, and the idols of +those dwellings are stricken down. So in the body politic. The wise +and well-to-do enact laws, obedience to which is for the general good. +The ignorant and poverty-stricken, because of their unenlightened +condition, cannot see that obedience is for the good of all, and break +those laws. Hence crimes, the effects of which the wise and well-to-do +are made to feel, and for the punishment of which they are made to +pay. It is the same with man and woman. Man says, "Let woman manage +her domestic concerns, attend to her children, and gain the +approbation of her husband. These are her chief duties, and for these +little culture is needed." But woman becomes the mother of sons who +become men; and the character, condition, and destiny of those sons +who become men are, as we have seen, determined largely by the +condition, pre-natal and post-natal, of the mothers. So that the +ignorance in which woman is kept by man re-acts on man. + +A fourth reason for a change is, that we live in a republic. In a +republic every man has a voice in public affairs. Every man is first a +child; and children, commonly speaking, are what the mother's +influence helps to make them. Therefore, if you would have the country +wisely, honestly, and decently governed, give the children the right +kind of mothers. If the community knew its own interests, it would not +merely permit women all possible means of culture, but would force all +possible means of culture upon them. It would say, "We can't afford +that you exhaust yourselves by labor, that you fritter yourselves away +in vanities; for by your deficiencies we all suffer, by your losses we +all lose." + +But mark how stupid the community is. It desires that all its members +shall possess wisdom and integrity; it declares that, in regard to +character, a great deal depends on early training; it declares that +this early training is the duty of mothers; and yet it does not take +the next step, and say, _Therefore_ mothers should be qualified +for their duty, and have every facility for performing it +satisfactorily. It asserts with great solemnity, "Just as the twig is +bent the tree's inclined," then gives all its twigs into the hands of +mothers, saying, "Here, bend these: it makes a terrible difference how +they are bent, but then it is not important that you have given any +attention to the process." Or, to vary the statement, the community +virtually addresses woman in this way: "A fearful responsibility rests +upon you. It is the responsibility of training these young, immortal +souls. This is your mission, your high and holy calling. You will, +however, get little time to attend to it; and, as for any special +preparation or knowledge of the subject, none is required. There's a +great deal of delicate and complex machinery to superintend, and a +mistake will tell fearfully in the result; but, never mind, we'll +trust luck." "Do we not," as Horace Mann once asked, "do we not need +some single word where we can condense into one monosyllable the +meaning of ten thousand fools?" Some deny the power of early training. +"Look!" they say, "there is a family of children brought up just +alike, and see how differently they all turn out." But a family of +children should not be brought up just alike. Different temperaments +require different treatment. And this is exactly the point where +knowledge is necessary, and a wisdom almost superhuman. That character +is the result of "inherited traits," as well as of education, does not +affect the case, since children "inherit" from mothers and the sons of +mothers. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A WAY OUT. + + +But suppose we leave this part of our subject, and endeavor now to +find a way out of this present state of things. Let us keep the +situation clearly before us. As things are, woman cannot obtain +culture because of being overburdened with work and care, and also +because of her enfeebled condition physically. To what is this present +state of things owing? Largely to the unworthy views of both men and +women concerning the essentials of life, and concerning the +requirements of woman's vocation. And these unworthy views of men and +women, to what are they owing? In a very great measure to early +impressions. Who, chiefly, are responsible for these? Mothers. They +are also, as has been shown, responsible for the larger part of the +prevailing invalidism of woman. Let us be sure to bear in mind that +these evils, these hinderances to culture, can be traced directly back +to the influence and the ignorance of mothers; for here is where the +whole thing hinges. Here is a basis to build upon. Child-training is +at the beginning. Child-training is woman's work. Everybody says so. +The wise say so. The foolish say so. The "oak and vine" man says so. +The "private way, dangerous passing" man says so. Very good. If this +is woman's work, _educate her for her work_. If "educate" isn't +the right word, instruct her, inform her, teach her, prepare her; name +the process as you choose, so that it enables her to comprehend the +nature of her business, and qualifies her to perform its duties. She +requires not only general culture, but special preparation, a +technical preparation if you will. Let this come in as the +supplementary part of what is called her education. Many will +pronounce this absurd; but why is it absurd? Say we have in our young +woman's class at the "Institute," thirty or forty or fifty young +women. Now, we know that almost every one of these, either as a mother +or in some other capacity, will have the care of children. The +"Institute" assumes to give these young women such knowledge as shall +be useful to them in after life. If "Institutes" are not for this +purpose, what are they for? One might naturally suppose, then, that +the kind of knowledge which its pupils need for their special vocation +would rank first in importance. And what kind will they need? Step +into the house round the corner, or down the street, and ask that +young mother, looking with unutterable tenderness upon the little +group around her, what knowledge she would most value. She will say, +"I long more than words can express to know how to keep these children +well. I want to make them good children, to so train them that they +will be comforts to themselves and useful to others. But I am ignorant +on every point. I don't know how to keep them well, and I don't know +how to control them, how to guide them." + +"It is said," you reply, "that every child brings love with it. Is not +love all-powerful and all-sufficient?" + +"Love does come with every child; but, alas! knowledge does not come +with the love. My love is so strong, and yet so blind, that it even +does harm. I would almost give up a little of my love if knowledge +could be got in exchange." + +Here, perhaps, you inquire, somewhat sarcastically, if no instruction +on these subjects was given at the "Institute." She opens wide her +astonished eyes. "Oh, no! No, indeed,--surely not." + +"What, then, were you taught there?" + +"Well, many things,--Roman history for one. We learned all about the +Punic Wars, their causes, results, and the names of the famous +generals on both sides." + +Now, if a Bostonian were going to Europe, it would do him no harm to +be told the names of all the streets in Chicago, the names of the +inhabitants of each street, with the stories of their lives, their +quarrels, reconciliations, and how each one rose or fell to his +position. Acquiring these facts would be good mental exercise, and +from a part of them he would learn something of human nature. But what +that man wants to know more than any thing is, on what day the steamer +sails for Europe: is she seaworthy? what are her accommodations? is +she well provisioned, well manned, well commanded? are her +life-preservers stuffed with cork or shavings? So, if a man is going +to build a boat, you might show him a collection of fossils, and +discourse to him of the gneiss system, the mica-schist system, or talk +of the atomic theory and protoplasms. Such knowledge would help to +enlarge his views, extend his range of vision, and strengthen his +memory, but would not help the man to build his boat. He wants to know +how to lay her keel straight, how to hit the right proportions, how to +make her mind her helm, how to make her go; and he has been taught +that the great pachyderms are divided into paleotheria and +anoplotheria. The same of our young mother: she wants to know how to +bring up her child, and she has been taught "how many Punic wars there +were, their causes, results, and the names of the famous generals on +both sides." + +It may be asked here, in what way, or by what studies, shall the young +woman's class at the "Institute" be taught the necessary knowledge? It +would be presumption in one like me to attempt a complete answer to +that question. But the professors, presidents, and stockholders of our +"Institutes" are learned and wise. If these will let their light shine +in this direction as they have let it shine in other directions, a way +will be revealed. But, while learning and wisdom are getting ready to +do this, mere common sense may offer a few suggestions. Suppose the +young woman's class were addressed somewhat in this way: "It is +probable that all of you, in one capacity or another, will have the +care of young children, and that for the majority it will be the chief +duty of your lives. There is, then, nothing in the whole vast range of +learning so important to you as knowledge on this subject." This for a +general statement to begin with. As for the particular subjects and +their order, common sense would ask, first, What does a young mother +want to know first? First, she wants to know how to keep her child +alive, how to make it strong to endure or defy disease. She needs to +be taught, for instance, why a child should breathe pure air, and why +it should not get its pure air in the form of draughts. She needs to +know if it makes any difference what a child eats, or how often, and +that a monotonous diet is injurious. She needs to know something of +the nutritive qualities of different kinds of food, and why some are +easy of digestion and others not, and in what way each kind builds up +the system. She needs to understand the chemistry of cookery, in order +to judge what kinds of food are calculated to make the best blood, +bones, and muscles. She needs to have some general ideas in regard to +ways of bringing back the system from an abnormal to a healthy state; +as, for instance, equalizing the circulations. Learned professors, +women physicians, will know how to deliver courses of lectures on all +such subjects, and to tell what books have been written on them, and +where these books may be found. And, as for the absurdity of teaching +these things beforehand, compare that with the absurdity of rearing a +race to hand over to physicians and undertakers, and choose between. +And even apart from their practical bearing, why are not such items of +knowledge as well worth learning, as simply items of knowledge, as the +hundreds of others which, at present, no young woman's course can be +without? There is no doubt that if mothers were given a knowledge of +these matters beforehand, instead of being left to acquire it +experimentally, the present frightful rate of infant mortality (nearly +twenty-five per cent) would be reduced. Plenty of light has been +thrown on this subject, but the community does not receive it. Here is +some which was contributed to one of the Board of Health reports by a +physician. + +"The mother," he says, "requires something more than her loving +instincts, her ready sympathies. With all her good-will and +conscientiousness, mistakes are made. The records of infant mortality +offer a melancholy illustration of the necessity of the mother's +previous preparation for the care of her children. The first-born die +in infancy in much larger proportion than their successors in the +family. The mother learns at the cost of her first child, and is +better prepared for the care of the second, and still better for the +third and fourth, whose chances of development into full life and +strength are much greater than those of the oldest brothers and +sisters." + +Think of the mother learning "at the cost of her first child," and of +the absurd young woman learning beforehand; and choose between. Also +please compare the "previous preparation" here recommended with the +mere bureau-drawer preparation, which is the only one at present +deemed necessary. Another writer, an Englishman, speaking of the high +rate of infant mortality, says, "It arises from ignorance of the +proper means to be employed in rearing children," which certainly is +plain language. Such facts and opinions as these would make an +excellent basis for a course of lectures at the "Institute," to be +given by competent women physicians. The advertisements of "Mrs. +Winslow's Soothing Syrup" would be remarkably suggestive in this +connection. A mother of three little children said to me, "I give the +baby her dose right after breakfast; and she goes to sleep, and sleeps +all the forenoon. That's the way I get my work done." We all know why +the baby sleeps after taking its dose. We do not know how many mothers +adopt this means of getting their work done; but the fact that the +proprietor of this narcotic gained his immense wealth by the sale of +it enables us to form some idea. + +The importance of educating nursery-girls for their calling, and the +physical evils which may arise from leaving young children entirely to +the care of nursery-girls, would be exceedingly suggestive as lecture +subjects. Mr. Kingsley asks, "Is it too much to ask of mothers, +sisters, aunts, nurses, and governesses, that they should study thrift +of human health and human life by studying somewhat the laws of life +and health? There are books--I may say a whole literature of +books--written by scientific doctors on these matters, which are, to +my mind, far more important to the schoolroom than half the trashy +accomplishments, so called, which are expected to be known by our +governesses." + +But, supposing a mother succeeds in keeping her child alive and well, +what knowledge does she desire next? She desires to know next how to +guide it, influence it, mould its character. She does all these, +whether she tries to or not, whether she knows it or not, whether she +wishes to or not. Says Horace Mann, "It ought to be understood and +felt, that in regard to children all precept and example, all kindness +and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all forms, indeed, of +direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, just as dew, and +sun, and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable growth. Their +influences are integrated and made one with the soul. They enter into +spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be wholly +decompounded. They are like the daily food eaten by wild game, so +pungent in its nature that it flavors every fibre of their flesh, and +colors every bone in their bodies. Indeed, so pervading and enduring +is the effect of education upon the youthful soul, that it may well be +compared to a certain species of writing ink, whose color at first is +scarcely perceptible, but which penetrates deeper and grows blacker by +age, until, if you consume the scroll over a coal-fire, the character +will still be legible in the cinders." + +In regard to inherited bad traits, the question arises, if even these +may not be changed for the better by skilful treatment given at a +sufficiently early period. Children inheriting diseased bodies are +sometimes so reared as to become healthy men and women. To do this +requires watchfulness and wise management. How do we know that by +watchfulness and wise management children born with inherited bad +traits may not be trained to become good men and women? But the +majority of mothers do not watch for such traits. It seldom occurs to +them that they should thus watch. Why not bring the subject to the +consideration of young women "beforehand," when, being assembled in +companies, they are easy of access? It is too late when they are +scattered abroad, and burdened each with her pressing family duties. +"Forewarned is forearmed." + +Some are of the opinion that the badness which comes by inheritance +cannot be changed. This is equivalent to believing that there is no +help for the evil in the world. Unworthy and vicious parents are +continually transmitting objectionable traits to their children, who +in turn will transmit them to theirs, and so on to the end of time. +Shall we fold our hands, and resign ourselves to the prospect, while +our educators go on ignoring the whole matter, and leaving those who +might affect a change ignorant that it is in their power to do so? + +"But," says one, "the children of those people who thought so much +about education, and who started with model theories, behave no better +than other people's children." This may be true, and still prove +nothing. "Those people" might not have thought wisely about education. +Their model theories might not have been adapted to the various +temperaments often found in one family. Their children might have been +exceptionally faulty by nature; unsuspected inherited traits may have +developed themselves, and interfered with the workings of the model +theories. The failure of "those people" shows all the more the need of +preparation given "beforehand," and given by those who make the +subject a special study, just as the professor of history, or +mathematics, or natural philosophy, makes his department a special +study. + +When we consider how much is at stake, it really seems as if learned +and wise professors could not employ their learning and wisdom to +better purpose than in devising ways of enlightening the "young +woman's class" upon any and every point which has a bearing on the +intellectual and moral training of children. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +SUGGESTIONS FOR LECTURE TOPICS. + + +It is not to be supposed that enlightenment on subjects pertaining to +the intellectual and moral training of children can be given to a +young woman in text-book fashion, cut and dried, put up in packages, +and labelled ready for use. But it will be something gained to set her +thinking on these subjects, to make her feel their importance, and to +inform her in what books and by what writers they have been +considered. All this, and more to the same purpose, could be done by +lectures and discussions, for which lectures and discussions even +humble common sense need be at no loss to suggest topics. There are, +for instance, the different methods of governing, of reproving, of +punishing, and of securing obedience; the evils of corporal +punishment, of governing by ridicule, of showing temper while +punishing. Then there are questions like these: How far should love of +approbation be encouraged? What prominence shall be given to +externals, as personal appearance, the minutia of behavior, politeness +of speech? How may perfect politeness be combined with perfect +sincerity? Ways of inculcating integrity. How to teach self-reliance, +without fostering self-conceit. How to encourage prudence and economy, +and at the same time discourage parsimony. How to combine firmness +with kindness. Implicit obedience a good basis to work on. How to +enter into a child's life, and make it a happy one. How not to become +a slave to a child's whims. The different amounts of indulgence and of +assistance which different temperaments will bear. How shall +liberality be inculcated, and extravagance denounced? On deceitfulness +as taught by parents. On lying as taught by parents. On the +impossibility of making one theory work in a whole family of children, +or always on a single child. Shall obedience be implicit, and how +early in the child's life shall it be exacted? On marriages. On the +true issues of life. When shall ambition and the spirit of emulation +be encouraged, and when repressed? The possibility of too much +fault-finding making a child callous. If mere common sense discovers +so many subjects, what number may not learning and wisdom discover +when their attention shall be turned in this direction? + +The "nursery-girl" topic might come up again, and be considered in its +moral and intellectual aspects. Some mothers see their small children +only once or twice a day, while the nurse is with them constantly. +This fact might be made strikingly significant by placing it side by +side with Horace Mann's words: "In regard to children, all precept and +example, all kindness and harshness, all rebuke and commendation, all +forms, indeed, of direct or indirect education, affect mental growth, +just as dew and sun and shower, or untimely frost, affect vegetable +growth. Their influences are integrated and made one with the soul. +They enter into spiritual combination with it, never afterward to be +wholly decompounded,"--also with a previously quoted assertion, +founded on actual experiments, that "it is the medium in which a child +is habitually immersed" which helps most in forming the child's +character. The kind of reading which falls into the hands of the young +would be found to be a lecture topic of appalling interest. Striking +illustrations for such lectures could be taken from the advertisements +and statistics of story-paper and dime-novel publishers. The +illustrated papers which can be bought and are bought by youth are +crammed to overflowing with details of vice and barbarity. They have +columns headed "A Melange of Murder," "Fillicide, or a Son killing a +Father," "Lust and Blood," "Fiendish Assassination," "Particulars of +the Hanging of John C. Kelly," "Carving a Darky," "An Interesting +Divorce Case in Boston," "A Band of Juvenile Jack Sheppards." And the +pictures match the reading,--a jealous lover shooting a half-naked +girl; a father murdering his family; an inquisitive youth peering into +a ladies' dressing-room. If the contents of these papers are bad for +us to hear of, what must they be to the youth who read them? Dime +novels are advertised in these same papers as being issued once a +month, and supplied by all the news companies, "Sensational stories +from the pens of gifted American novelists!" "The Sharpers' League," +"Lyte, or the Suspected One," "The Pirate's Isle," "Darrell, the +Outlaw," "The Night Hawks, containing Midnight Robbery, Plots dark and +deep," "The Female Poisoner," "Etne of the Angel Face and Demon +Heart," "The Cannibal Kidnappers, a Sequel to the Boy Mutineers," +"Life for Life, or the Spanish Gipsy Girl," "Tom Wildrake's +School-days." Some of these papers are entitled "Boys' and Girls'" +weeklies. The old saying is, "Build doves' nests, and doves will +come." What kind of "nests" are being built by the young readers of +these publications, of which it may almost literally be said, "no boy +can do without one"? The boy at school has one between the leaves of +his geography; the boy riding, or sailing, or resting from his work or +his play, draws one from his pocket; the grocer's boy comes forward to +serve you, tucking one under his jacket. In the way of statistics, it +might be stated that nineteen tons of obscene publications and plates +for the same were seized at one time in New-York City. Should +representatives of "our best families" ask, "How does this affect us +and ours?" it could be answered that catalogues of academies and +boarding-schools are obtained, and that these publications are then +forwarded to pupils by mail. + +Topics of this kind would naturally suggest those of an opposite kind, +as modes of awakening in children an appreciation of the beauty, the +sublimity, the wonderfulness, of the various objects in the world of +nature; also of cultivating in their minds a taste for the beautiful +and the refined in art, literature, manners, conversation. These +considerations could be effectively introduced into a lecture or +lectures "On the Building of Doves' Nests." Is it not "essential" that +mothers should have the time, the facilities, and the knowledge +necessary for accomplishing what is here suggested, and that they be +made sensible of its importance? But there is many a busy mother now +who can scarcely "take time" to look out when her children call her to +see a rainbow, much less to walk out with them among natural objects. + +The object of these lectures should not be to teach any particular +theories on which to act in the management of children, but to so +instruct, so to enlighten young women, that when the time for action +comes they will act intelligently. With the majority of women the +management of children is a mere "getting along." In this "getting +along" they often have recourse to deception; thus teaching +deceitfulness. They are often unfair, punishing on one occasion what +they smile at or wink at on another; thus teaching injustice. They +lose self-control, and punish when in anger; thus setting examples of +violence and bad temper. It is probable that a young woman who had +been educated with a view to her vocation would be more likely to act +wisely in these emergencies and in her general course of management, +than one who had not. There would be more chance of her taking pains +to consider. She would not work so blindly, so aimlessly, so "from +hand to mouth," as do some of our mothers. + +Such enlightenment is an enlightenment for which any good mother will +be thankful. She wants it to work with. She feels the need of it every +hour in the day. Why, then, is it not given to young women as a part +of their education, and as the most important part? They are +instructed in almost every thing else. They can give you the areas, +population, boundaries, capitals, and peculiarities of far-away and +insignificant provinces; the exact measurements of mountain ranges, +lakes, and rivers; statistics, in figures, of the farthest isle beyond +the farthest sea. They are lectured on the antediluvians, on the Milky +Way, on the Siamese, Japanese, North Pole, on all the ologies; on the +literature, modes of thought, and modes of life, of extinct races. +They can converse in foreign tongues; they are familiar with dead +languages, and with the superstitions, observances, and quarrels of +certain races, barbarous or otherwise, who existed thousands of years +ago. In fact, they are taught, after some fashion, almost every thing +except what their life-work will specially require. Little will it +avail a mother in her seasons of perplexity or of bereavement to +remember "what wars engaged Rome after the Punic Wars, and how many +years elapsed before she was mistress of the Mediterranean." This and +the following questions are taken from the "Examination Papers" of a +popular "Institute" for young ladies. + +"Give names and dates of the principal engagements of the Persian +wars, with the names of the great men of Greece during that period." + +"Show cause, object, and result of the Peloponnesian war." + +"Give names and attributes of the seven kings of Rome." + +"After the kings were driven out, what does the internal history +mainly consist of?" + +"What were the social, and what were the civil wars?" + +Common sense might ask why every child born in the nineteenth century +must go to work so solemnly to learn the minute particulars of those +old wars! Still common sense would not declare such knowledge to be +altogether worthless; it would only suggest that woman wants the kind +which will help her in her special department, more than she wants +this kind. Said a lady in my hearing,--an only child reared in the +very centre of wealth and culture,--"I was most carefully educated; +but, when I came to be the mother of children, I found myself utterly +helpless." + +It is gratifying to know that in regard to these matters common sense +has very respectable learning and wisdom on its side. A celebrated +writer and thinker says, "If by some strange chance not a vestige of +us descended to the remote future, save a pile of our school-books, or +some college examination papers, we may imagine how puzzled an +antiquary of the period would be on finding in them no indication that +the learners were ever likely to be parents. 'This must have been the +curriculum for their celibates,' we may fancy him concluding: 'I +perceive here an elaborate preparation for many things; especially for +reading the books of extinct nations (from which, indeed, it seems +clear that these people had very little worth reading in their own +tongue), but I find no reference whatever to the bringing up of +children. They could not have been so absurd as to omit all training +for this gravest of responsibilities. Evidently, then, this was the +school-course of one of their monastic orders.' Seriously, is it not +an astonishing fact, that though on the treatment of offspring depend +their lives or their deaths, and their moral welfare or ruin, not one +word on such treatment is ever given to those who will hereafter be +parents? Is it not monstrous, that the fate of a new generation should +be left to the chances of unreasoning custom, impulse, fancy, joined +with the suggestions of ignorant nurses and the prejudiced counsel of +grandmothers? To tens of thousands that are killed, add hundreds of +thousands that survive with feeble constitutions, and millions that +grow up with constitutions not so strong as they should be, and you +will have some idea of the curse inflicted on their offspring by +parents ignorant of the laws of life. With cruel carelessness they +have neglected to learn any thing about these vital processes which +they are unceasingly affecting by their commands and prohibitions; in +utter ignorance of the simplest physiological laws, they have been, +year by year, undermining the constitutions of their children, and +have so inflicted disease and premature death not only on them but on +their descendants. Consider the young mother and her nursery +legislation. But a few years ago she was at school, where her memory +was crammed with words, names, and dates; where not one idea was given +her respecting the methods of dealing with the opening mind of +childhood. The intervening years have been passed in practising music, +in fancy work, in novel-reading, and in party-going; no thought having +been yet given to the grave responsibilities of maternity. And now see +her with an unfolding human character committed to her charge,--see +her profoundly ignorant of the phenomena with which she has to deal, +undertaking to do that which can be done but imperfectly even with the +aid of the profoundest knowledge.... Lacking knowledge of mental +phenomena, with their causes and consequences, her interference is +frequently more mischievous than absolute passivity would have been." + +This writer, it seems, would also have young men educated with a view +to their probable duties as fathers, and so, of course, would we all; +and much might be said on this point, especially of its bearing on the +solution of our problem; still, as Mr. Frothingham said in a recent +address, "The mother, of all others, is the one to foster and control +the individuality of the child." It was "good mothers" which Napoleon +needed in order to secure the welfare of France. "Such kind of women +as are the mothers of great men," is a significant sentence I have +seen somewhere in print. In fact, so much depends on mothers, that +there seems no possible way by which our problem can be fully solved +until the right kind of mothers shall have been raised up, and their +children be grown to maturity. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +WAYS OF IMMEDIATE ESCAPE. + + +But is there no possible way by which mothers now living may escape +from this present unsatisfactory condition? Yes; but not many will +adopt it. Simplicity in food and in dress would set free a very large +number. A great part of what are called their "domestic" occupations +consists in the preparation of food which is worse than unnecessary. A +great part of their sewing work consists in fabricating "trimmings" +which are worse than useless, even considering beauty a use, which it +is. Let these simplify their cooking and their dressing, and time for +culture will appear, and for them our problem be solved. We preach +against the vice of intemperance, and with reason. Let us ask +ourselves if intemperance in eating and in dressing is not even more +to be deplored. The former brings ruin to comparatively a few: by +means of the latter the whole tone of mind among women is lowered; and +we have seen what it costs to lower the tone of mind among women. We +must remember that not only is the condition of the mother reflected +in the organism of her child, but that the child is taught by the +daily example of its mother what to look upon as the essentials of +life. "I feel miserable," said a feeble house-mother, just recovering +from sickness; "but I managed to crawl out into the kitchen, and stir +up a loaf of cake." Now, why should a sick woman have crawled out into +the kitchen, to stir up a loaf of cake? Was that a paramount +duty,--one which demanded the outlay of her little all of strength? +This is the obvious inference, and one which children would naturally +draw. A lady of intelligence, on hearing this case stated, expressed +the opinion that the woman did no more than her duty. Said this lady, +"If her husband liked cake, it was her duty to provide it for him at +whatever sacrifice of health on her own part." + +Now, it seems reasonable to suppose that an affectionate couple would +have a mutual understanding in regard to such matters. It seems +reasonable to suppose that an affectionate husband would rather +partake of plain fare in the society of a wife with sufficient health +and spirits to be companionable, than to eat his cake alone while she +was recovering from the fatigue of making it. + +Speaking of inferences, it is obvious what ones a child will draw from +seeing its mother deprive herself of sleep and recreation and +reading-time in order to trim a suit _à la mode_. And these +inferences of children concerning essentials have a mighty bearing on +our problem. Some ladies defend the present elaborate style of dress +on the ground that it affords the means of subsistence to +sewing-girls. There is something in this, but I think not so much as +appears. Go into the upper lofts where much of this sewing is done, +and what will you find? You will find them crowded with young girls, +bending over sewing-machines, or over work-tables, breathing foul air, +and, in some cases, engaged in conversations of the most objectionable +character. Their pay is ridiculously small,--a dollar and a half for +doing the machine-work on a full-trimmed fashionable "suit." I learned +this, and about the conversations, from a worker at one of these +establishments. Clothes, especially outside clothes, they must have +and will have; consequently the saving must be made on food. Some, too +poor to pay board, hire attic rooms, and pinch themselves in both fire +and food. They often carry their dinner, say bread, tea, and +confectioner's pie, and remain at the store all day. They are liable +to be thrown among vile associates; they are exposed to many +temptations. They enrich their employers, but not themselves. In dull +seasons their situation is pitiable, not to say dangerous. A great +number of them come from country homes. Of these, many might live +comfortably in those homes, and others might earn a support by working +in their neighbors' houses, where they would be considered as members +of the families, have good lodging and nourishing food, and where +their assistance is not only desired, but in some cases actually +suffered for. They prefer the excitements of city life. (Of course, +these remarks do not apply to all of them.) Fashionable ladies may not +employ shop-girls directly or indirectly, but their example helps to +make a market for the services of these girls. Another consideration +is, that the poor seamstress who is benefited directly by the money of +fashionable ladies is taught as directly, by their example, false +views as to the essentials of life; so that what helps in one way +hinders in another. All this should be considered by those who bring +forward "sewing-girls' needs" as an argument for an elaborate style of +dress. Even were this argument sound, it fails to cover the case. A +very large proportion of our women have not money enough to hire their +sewing done, and it is upon these that the wearisome burden falls. To +keep up, to vary with the varying fashion, they toil in season and out +of season. Day after day you will see them at their work-tables, their +machines, their lap-boards; ripping, stitching, turning, altering, +furbishing; complaining often of sideache, of backache, of headache, +of aching all over; denying themselves outdoor air and exercise and +reading-time,--and all because they consider dressing fashionably an +essential of life. With them, what costs only time, health, and +strength, costs nothing. + +Think of this going on all over the country. Think of the sacrifices +it involves. In view of them, it really seems as if those who can +afford to hire their sewing done should give up elaborate trimmings +just for example's sake. To be sure, this is not striking at the +foundation. To be sure, this is not the true way of bringing about a +reform. But, while waiting to get at the foundation, would it not be +well to work a little on the surface for the sake of immediate +results? You would refrain from taking a glass of wine if, by so +doing, you made abstinence easier for your weaker brother or sister. +Why not consider the weakness of these toiling sisters? It is not +their fault that they do not see what are the true issues of life. +They have not been wisely educated. If the wealthy and influential +would adopt a simple style of dress, their doing so would be the means +of relieving many overburdened women immediately, and of helping them +to solve the problem we are considering. It is not wicked to dress +simply, and no principle would be sacrificed. Neither would good +taste. Indeed, the latter is opposed to excessive ornamentation, +whether in dress, manners, speech, or writing. Long live beauty! Long +live taste! Long live the "aesthetic side"! But simplicity does not +necessarily imply plainness, nor homeliness, nor uncouthness. There +can be a simplicity of adornment. I am aware that acting for example's +sake is not a sound principle of action; but it is a question if it be +not duty in this particular case. A lady physician of large practice +once said to me, "I see, among poor girls, so much misery caused by +this,"--meaning this rage for excessive trimming,--"that I can +scarcely bring myself to wear even one plain fold." If it be asked, +Should we not also relinquish costly fabrics, and the elegant +appointments of our dwellings? it may be answered, that "poor girls" +commonly give up these as being entirely out of their reach. They buy +low-priced material, and call the dress cheap which costs only their +time, their strength, their sleep, and their opportunities for reading +and recreation. + +We all know that the right way is to so educate woman that she will be +sensible in these matters. The external life is but the natural +outgrowth of the internal. It is of no use cutting off follies and +fripperies from the outside so long as the heart's desire for them +remains. This heart's desire must have something better in its +place,--something higher, nobler, worthier. This something is +enlightenment; and to effect the exchange we shall have to begin at +the beginning, and enlighten the mothers. Follies and fripperies, in +cooking or dressing, will give way before enlightenment, just as do +the skin paintings, tattooings, gaudy colors, glass beads and tinsel, +and other absurdities of savage tribes; just as have done the barbaric +customs and splendors of the barbaric ages. Woman is not quite out of +her barbaric stage yet. At any rate, she is not fully enlightened. The +desire for that redundancy of adornment which is in bad taste still +remains. In the process of evolution, the nose-ring has been cast off; +but rings are still hooked into the flesh of the ears, and worn with +genuine barbaric complacency. When women are all wisely educated, our +problem will melt away and disappear. The wisely-educated woman will, +of her own accord, lay hold on essentials and let go unessentials. She +will do the best thing with her time, the best thing with her means. +She may conform to fashion, but will not feel obliged to do so. In +fact, when women become enlightened, non-conformity to fashion will be +all the fashion. Right of private judgment in the matter will be +conceded. All women shall dress as seemeth to them good; and no woman +shall say, or think, or look, "Why do ye so?" Those having +insufficient means and time will be so wise as not to feel compelled +to dress like those who have plenty of both. + +Meanwhile, as an immediate measure of relief, suppose a dozen or +twenty mothers in each town should agree to adopt a simple yet +tasteful style of dress for themselves and their little girls. This +would lighten, at once, their heavy burden of work, give them "time to +read," and would be a benefit to those little girls in many ways. + +Another way of immediate escape is by making the present race of +husbands aware that their wives are being killed, or crazed, with hard +work and care, especially husbands in the small towns and villages, +and more especially farmers. In regard to these last, it is no +exaggeration to say that their wives in many cases work like slaves. +Indeed, this falls short of the truth, for slaves have not the added +burden of responsibility. As things are now, the woman who marries a +farmer often goes, as one may say, into a workhouse, sentenced to hard +labor for life. + +When these husbands permit their wives to "overwork," it is not from +indifference, but from sheer ignorance. They don't know, they don't +begin to conceive, of the labor there is in "woman's work." It is true +that neither are merchant-princes aware of what it costs their wives +to superintend the complicated arrangements of their establishments; +to see that all the wheels, and the wheels within wheels, revolve +smoothly, and that comfort and style go hand in hand; but let us +consider now the farmers' wives, toiling on, and on, and on, in +country towns, East, West, and all the way between. Their husbands, in +not a few cases, are able to hire at least the drudgery done, and +would if they only knew. A young woman from a New Hampshire village, +herself an invalid from hard work, speaking to me of her mother, said, +"She suffers every thing with her back. When she stoops down to the +oven to attend to the pies, she has to hold on to her back, hard, to +get up again." I said, "Why, I shouldn't think your father would let +her make them."--"Oh," said she, "father don't understand. He's hard." +One day I was sitting in the house of a young woman,--a fragile, +delicate creature, scarcely able to lift the baby she was +holding,--when her husband came in. He was a working man, tall and +robust looking. He walked toward the pantry. "You mustn't cut a pie," +the little wife called out laughing. Then turning to me, she said, +with a sort of appealing, piteous glance, "He don't understand how +hard it is for me to make pies." I know a young woman, not a strong +woman, who, with a family of very little children, does her own work, +and makes from one to two dozen pies at a common baking, "'cause hubby +loves 'em." I know another, similarly situated, who gives her husband +pies at breakfast as well as at other meals, because "he was brought +up to them at home." Now, all these "hubbies" are loving "hubbies," +but--they do not know. A friend of mine, an elderly woman lately +deceased, came to her death (so her neighbors said) by hard work. +"Killed with work," was the exact expression they used. She was a dear +good woman; a person of natural refinement, of strict integrity, of a +forgiving spirit, intelligent, sweet-tempered, gentle-mannered; +everybody loved her. Her husband is a well-to-do farmer. He inherited +money and lands, and has them still. His wife, who was every thing to +him, whom he could not bear out of his sight, and for whom, if he had +known, he would have sacrificed money and lands, is gone. But--he did +not know. "Mother" never complained. "Mother" did the cooking, did the +washing, scrubbed the floors. They had "company forever," the +neighbors said. "Mother" received, with smiling hospitality, all who +came. Help was hard to procure; still help might and would have been +procured had the husband known the case to be, as it certainly was, a +case of life or death. But--he did not know: so "mother" died of work +and care. + +You sometimes see a woman, after hurrying through her forenoon's work, +sink down entirely prostrated, too tired to speak a loud word, every +nerve in her body quivering. The jar of a footfall upon the floor sets +her "all a-tremble." As dinnertime approaches, you see that woman +stepping briskly about the house, a light in her eye, a flush on her +cheek, vivacity in her motions. She is "living on excitement;" "it is +ambition which keeps her up." Her husband, coming in to his dinner, +takes her briskness and vivacity as matters of course, regarding her, +probably, as a woman who has nothing to do but to stay in the house +all day. He has no more idea of the condition of that woman than her +infant has. + +There are thousands of husbands, who, if they knew, would lift the +burden of at least the heaviest drudgery from their wives, thus giving +them longer leases of life. But, as a rule, wives keep their bad +feelings to themselves. They know that "a complaining woman" is a term +of reproach. They are exhorted in newspaper after newspaper to "make +home happy by cheerful looks and words." They wish to do so. With a +laudable desire to save money, they spend themselves, and "get along" +without help. It is truly a getting-along, not a living. Sometimes, +however, they are obliged to mention their feebleness, or their +ailments, as reasons for neglect of duty. It is astonishing how little +importance, in many cases, the husband attaches to the facts thus +stated. Apparently he considers ailments either as being natural to +woman, or as afflictions sent upon her by the Lord. He seems to look +upon her as a sort of machine, which is liable to run down, but which +may easily be wound up by a little medicine, and set going again. If +the medicine does not set her going again, he brings her pastor to +pray for her; if she dies, he says, "The Lord hath taken her away." +All this because he does not know. When husbands are enlightened on +this important point, this solemn point, they will insist on less work +for women. Less work implies more leisure, and with leisure comes time +for culture. + +Another step towards the immediate solution of our problem is, to +establish the fact that woman stands on a level with man, and is +neither an appendage nor a "relict." Relict, it is true, only means +that which is left; still we do not hear James Smith called the +"relict" of Hannah Smith. Standing on the same level does not imply a +likeness, but simply a natural equality,--equality, for instance, in +matters of conscience, judgment, and opinion. It is often said, that, +as a barbarous race progresses toward civilization, its women are +brought nearer and nearer to an equality with its men. Thus in the +barbaric stage woman is an appendage to man, existing solely for his +pleasure and convenience. She is then at her lowest. As civilization +progresses, she rises gradually nearer an equality with man. + +When she is all the way up, when her individuality is recognized as +man's is recognized, then civilization, in this respect, will have +done its perfect work. Woman among us is almost all the way up, but +not quite. She is still considered, and considers herself, a little +bit inferior by nature. We see at once how this bears upon our +question. Just so much as woman is considered inferior, just so much +less importance is attached to the nature of her occupations and +acquirements. It is all right enough that an inferior being should +devote herself to follies, or to drudgeries, or to catering to +fastidious appetites. These duties are on a level with her capacities; +for these she was created, and for these culture is unneeded. When +civilization shall have finished its work, so far as to bring woman up +to her true position of equality with man,--equality in matters of +conscience, judgment, opinion, and privileges,--then will man be able +to put off from his shoulders the responsibility of deciding what is, +and what is not, proper for her to do. He has carried double weight +long and uncomplainingly, and should in justice to himself be +relieved. Equals need not decide for equals. Woman will take up the +burden he throws off, and decide for herself. We must proceed +cautiously here, for there are lions in the path. Being free to +choose, she may choose to take interest in such kinds of public +affairs as have a bearing on her special duty. We are interested in +this, remember, because whatever affects her special duty affects the +solution of our problem. + +Now let us ask, under our breaths, what are public affairs? The public +consists of individuals. If there were no individuals there would be +no public. Public affairs, then, are only individual's affairs, +managed collectively, because that is the most convenient way of +managing them. Their good or bad management affects the comfort of +men, women, and children. Let us ask, why, simply by being christened +"public affairs," should they be turned into a great, horrid bugaboo, +too dangerous for women even to think of? Schools are a part of public +affairs, and one would suppose it to be a part of woman's vocation to +ascertain what is the influence of these schools on the children she +is bringing up; to learn whether they are working with her or against +her. Cases might arise concerning choice of teachers, hours of study, +kinds of study, ventilation, and so forth, in which it would be her +duty, as a child-trainer, to express an opinion: like the following +one, for instance, which comes to us in the newspapers, as "criminal +negligence in the affairs at the Mount Pleasant Schoolhouse, by which +about a dozen children have died of disease, others passed through +severe sickness, and not a few, including teachers, made temporary +invalids, or infected with boils or scrofulous sores, caused by +breathing the polluted air that has infested the building from +neglected earth-closets. The Board of Health officially announced that +this was the cause of the sickness, and recommended the removal of the +earth-closets. The janitor of the building, it seems, is incompetent, +and holds his place only because he is also a member of the School +Board; which suggests the query whether men unfit for janitors are +usually placed on the Nashua School Committee.... Five of the lads who +died were among the brightest scholars in the public schools. The +building has not yet been properly renovated." + +Shall woman's sons be thus destroyed, and woman be powerless to +interfere? + +In urgent cases like this, it might become the duty of the mother to +express her opinion by dropping a slip of paper with a name written on +it into a hat or a box. It would even be possible to conceive of +emergencies in which these slips of paper would so affect some vital +issue,--as, for instance, the choice or removal of the janitor who +will furnish the air for her children to breathe,--that the father +would stay with the children while the mother went out to thus express +her opinion. + +Then, indeed, would the climax be reached! Then would that state of +things so long foretold have come to pass: the husband takes care of +the children, while the wife goes out to vote! Then would the funny +artist snatch up his pencil, and the funny editor his quill. It has +always been a mystery to me where the laugh came in on this joke. +True, it is not his calling; but what is there so very incongruous in +a father's "taking care" of his own children? Fathers love their +children, and will toil night and day for them, even for the very +small ones. Is there any thing ridiculous, then, in their taking them +in their arms, and overlooking their childish sports? A man may take a +lamb in his arms without losing an iota of his dignity, and without +being caricatured in any one of our weeklies. It is quite time that +these precious little human lambs ceased to be the subjects of scoffs +and sneers. + +But we must pass on from this part of our subject, and glance at one +or two other ways of immediate escape from the present unsatisfactory +state of things. See how quickly such escape might be made by a truly +enlightened family. First, they hold counsel together, men and women, +all desiring the same object. Question, How shall "mother" find time +for culture? Say the male members, "Mother's work must be +lessened,--must be: there is a necessity in the case."--"But +how?"--"Well, investigate. Begin with the cooking. Let's see what we +can do without." Three cheers for our side! When man begins to see +what cooking he can do without, woman will begin to see her time for +culture. Dinners are summoned to the bar, examined, and found guilty +of too great variety and of too elaborate desserts. Sentence, less +variety, and fruit for dessert instead of pies, or even pudding: +exception filed here in favor of simple pudding when first course is +scanty or lacking. Suppers summoned, tried, and found guilty of too +great variety and too much richness; sentenced to omit pies for life, +and admonished by judge not to cling too closely to work-compelling +cake. The time thus rescued from the usurper, Cooking, is handed over +to "mother," the true heir, to have, and to hold. + +Or, suppose the question to be one of health. "'Mother' works too +hard. She will wear herself out."--"She doesn't complain."--"That +makes no difference. She must have help."--"Where is the money coming +from to pay the help?"--"Make it; earn it; dig for it; do without +something; give up something; sell something; live on bread and water. +Is there any thing that will weigh in the balance against 'mother's' +life? We shall feel grief when she is worn out; why not when she is +wearing out? We would make sacrifices to bring her back; why not to +keep her with us?" The truth is, that heretofore the wrong things have +been counterbalanced. Placing simple food in one scale, and dainties +in the other, of course the latter outweighs the former; but place +"mother's" needs and "mother's" life in one scale, and dainties in the +other, and then will the latter fly up out of sight, and never be +heard from any more. Councils of this kind, we must remember, are not +to become general until the requirements of "woman's mission" are +generally understood, and until a great many men are made aware that a +great many women are killing themselves by hard work and care, and +until academic professors perceive that it is wiser to give a young +woman the knowledge she will want to use than that which is given for +custom's sake. But how is this general enlightenment to be effected? I +don't know, unless the lecturer makes these subjects the theme of his +lecture, or the poet the burden of his verse, or the minister the text +of his discourse.--Not proper to be brought into the church? Why not? +A great deal about heathen women is brought into the church. Are +American women of less account than they? Does not the condition of +our women call for missionary effort? True, American wives do not +sacrifice themselves for their deceased husbands, but we have seen +that they are sacrificed. There is here no sacred river into which the +mother hurls her newborn babe; but it has been shown, that, because +American mothers are left in ignorance, a large proportion of their +children drop from their arms into the dark river of death. + +Should any object that such subjects are below the dignity of the +church, we might reply that the church is bound to help us for the +reason that the present state of things is partly owing to her +efforts. The ministers of the church in past times have labored to +convince people that this life for its own sake is of little account; +that we were placed here, not to develop the faculties and enjoy the +pleasures which pertain to this stage of our existence, but solely to +prepare for another. They have taught that we sicken and die +prematurely because God wills it, not because we transgress his laws. +To those suffering physically from such transgression they have said +in effect, "Pray God to relieve your pain, for he sent it upon you." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEANS OF ESCAPE ALREADY IN OPERATION. + + +Three effective means by which the desired change may be accomplished +are, first, that women meet regularly for the purpose of discussing +such matters as especially affect them and their mission; second, that +they have a paper for this same object; third, that representative +women from different sections of the country come together +occasionally, and compare views on these matters. Such means we +already have in the "Woman's Club," the "Woman's Journal," and the +"Woman's Congress." + +The first of these institutions is not what the uninitiated, judging +from its name, might suppose. The writer, though not a club-member, +can affirm of her own knowledge, that at the weekly gatherings +questions are discussed which have a direct bearing on the interests +of the family and household. From these gatherings, members return to +their homes strengthened, refreshed, enlightened. All teachers can +testify that from teachers' conventions they go back to work with +awakened interest, fresh zeal, and with newly-acquired ideas. The +contact of mind with mind has invigorated them. They have all taken +from each other, yet none have been losers, but all have been gainers. +Every school which lost its teacher for a season gained tenfold by +that teacher's absence. So it is with the club meetings. Women leave +their homes to consider how the standard of those homes may be raised. +I happened to be present once when the discussion was upon "The amount +and kind of obedience to be exacted from children;" and I said to +myself, Now, this seems the right thing exactly. How natural, how +sensible, for women to meet and confer on such subjects as this, each +one bringing her perplexities or her suggestions; the old giving their +experience, the young profiting thereby! What better could mothers do +for their children than thus to meet occasionally and hold counsel +together? + +Still people in general do not take this view of the case. People in +general are satisfied if a mother is bodily present with her children, +and do not trouble themselves as to her enlightenment. + +Look at the last Woman's Congress, side by side with three other large +conventions held in this country not so very long ago, and compare its +purposes with theirs. The questions which occupied the members of one +of the three related chiefly to articles of belief, and to those +particular articles of belief in which they all believed. It was +stated beforehand, that the great object to be attained was unity, and +that no subjects would come up which, by calling out opposing +opinions, might mar the harmony of the occasion. + +Another convention occupied much of its time in deciding whether those +of the denomination who sit at communion with others of the +denomination who have sat at communion with a person who has not been +wholly immersed, shall be fellowshipped by the denomination. + +An enthusiastic member of still another convention publishes a long +and glowing account of its proceedings, in which account occurs the +following curious paragraph:-- + +"During the discussions in convention, the presentation of petitions +and memorials and drafts of canons, the reports of the committees on +canons, the amendments and substitutes, the transit of canons back and +forth between the two houses, and finally, the conference committee, +the slowly developing action of the convention was under such +confusion and cloud, that it was and may yet be difficult for many, +especially those at a distance, to make up their mind as to what +finally took place." The object of this paragraph was to account for +some wrong impressions made by the published reports. + +I submit that what humanity wants to know is, how to live rightly, and +that it is suffering for this knowledge. It is not suffering to know +all about "altar cloths" and "eucharistic lights," and "colored +chasubles" and "the use of the viretta in worship." It is not +suffering to know if certain persons can partake of the Lord's Supper +with other certain persons who have partaken with other certain +persons. It is not suffering to know that a large number of +individuals believe exactly alike, and exactly as did their ancestors. +How are all these agreements and disagreements to help a poor fellow +who has inherited certain proclivities, and wishes to be rid of them, +and that his children may overmaster them? + +Humanity does want to know, right away, how to keep itself alive and +well and doing well. It wants brought up for consideration the wrongs +which oppress it, the evils which defile it, the crimes which degrade +it; to have their causes investigated, and their remedies suggested. +This is live work; and it is such work as this which occupied the +attention of the Woman's Congress. No uncertain sound there. Those "at +a distance," those at the very antipodes, might "make up their mind" +that its members were asking themselves, what have we, as wives and +mothers, to do with these things? While other conventions are +"agreeing," and "fellowshipping," and wrangling over "altar cloths," +and "virettas," the Woman's Congress considers matters which have an +immediate practical bearing on the welfare of human beings. While the +community is working away at the surface, with its prisons, its +police, its hangmen, its societies for the suppression of vice, its +schools for reform, its homes for the fallen (no doubt often with good +results), the Woman's Congress strikes at the foundation, and by +pointing out "The Influence of Literature upon Crime," and the telling +effect of "Pre-natal Influences," suggests how vice may be prevented, +character right-formed, and humanity kept from falling. It inquires, +"How can Woman best oppose Intemperance?" It considers those two vast +underlying subjects, "The Education of Women," and "The Physical +Education of our Girls;" while it by no means overlooks those +unfortunates whom society sets apart, and labels "fallen women." + +In regard to our problem, if any light has been thrown, if, "the word" +has been guessed, I should say "the word" is "enlightenment," +--enlightenment of the community as to the requirements of +woman's mission, enlightenment of woman herself as a preparation +for that mission. What say you, friends? Shall our women receive +such enlightenment? and shall it come in to the finishing or +supplementary part of their education (so called)? + +True, this will cause innovations; but is it _therefore_ +objectionable? No one will call our present system of education a +perfect one; why, then, should there not be innovations? "Why, +indeed," asks a writer in "The Atlantic," "except that the training of +their children is the last thing about which parents and communities +will exert themselves to vigorous thought and independent action? No +more striking proof of the inertia of the human mind can be found," he +says, "than the fact... that for many generations the true philosophy +of teaching has had its prophets and apostles, and yet that +substantially we are training our children in the same old blundering +way." The fault of this "old blundering way," it seems to me, is its +one-sidedness. It educates only the intellect. Is this the right way? +Surely the moral nature is also educable. Indeed, if the mind is +trained to act energetically, so much more should the moral sense be +trained to control the workings of that mind. Then, since the world, +we hope, is outgrowing battles, why is it considered _essential_ +that we inform ourselves so particularly, so minutely, so +statistically, concerning battles fought so long, long, long ago? Does +the process hasten on the time of beating swords into ploughshares? +Suppose each generation, as it comes on to the stage, does inform +itself thus minutely: what, in the long-run, does humanity gain +thereby? + +But these considerations open up subjects too vast and too important +to be even mentioned in these closing chapters. Will not you who know +the inevitable influence of the mother upon her children,--will you +not see to it that some portion of the time devoted to her education +is spent in preparing her for her life-work? Can you think of any +surer way than this by which good citizens may be raised up for our +country? Wickedness abounds. It is omnipresent. Every day,--yes, twice +a day,--the newspapers bring us tidings of corruption, fraud, villany, +not only in low places, but in high places; in exceedingly high +places. Crime is on the increase. Public officials, supported and +trusted by the people, hesitate not to defraud the people. Individuals +in good and regular standing socially and religiously, church-members, +sabbath-school teachers, defraud their nearest friends. + +Nobody can tell whom to trust. If, then, neither church, nor state, +nor social position, nor any outside influence, has power to make men +honest, where shall we look for such power? We must look to an inside +influence. The restraining power, in order to be effective in all +cases, must proceed from the character of the individual; and the +character of the individual is formed to a very great degree by early +training; and early training comes from--women. So here we are again +down to our working ground. + +Let us hope that innovations will be made. Let us hope that at no +distant day it will be thought as important for a young person to be +made a good member of society as to be able to cipher in the "rule of +three," in "alligation medial" and "alligation alternate." A recent +writer, a professor in the University of Pennsylvania, urges "the +importance of incorporating into our public school systems such +studies and such training as will tend to educate men for their place +in the body politic." He says, "A line of teaching which concerns +matters of more importance to society than all the ordinary branches +of knowledge put together is allowed to have no formal provision made +for it." This writer recommends the study of biographies. In Locke's +system good principles were to be cared for first, intellectual +activity next, and actual knowledge last of all. + +Suppose the young women of thirty years ago had been thoroughly +instructed in hygienic laws: would not the effects of such instruction +be perceptible in our present health-rates and death-rates? Let us +begin now to affect the health-rates and death-rates of thirty years +hence. And it will do no harm to instruct young men also in such +matters. Even while I am writing these pages, a State Board of Health +report comes to me, in which it is shown by facts and figures how our +death-rates are affected by ignorance,--ignorance as exhibited in the +locating, building, and ventilating of dwelling-houses, drainage, +situation of wells, planting of trees, choice of food and cooking of +the same, as well as in the management of children. Can any subjects +comprised in any school course compare in importance with these? For +humanity's sake, let our young people take time enough from their +geographies and Latin dictionaries to learn how to keep themselves +alive! It is possible too, that, if the young women of thirty years +ago had been enlightened on the subject of moral and mental training, +our present crime rates might be less than they are, and dishonesty +and dishonor in high places and in low places be less frequent. + +Mr. Whittier tells the story of a man in a certain town, who desired +the removal of an old building--an almshouse, I think--from a certain +locality. As the quickest way of accomplishing this, he gave a man a +dollar a day on condition that this man should do nothing else but +talk from morning to night with various people on the subject of +having that building moved. And it was moved. The old building we have +to move is made up of prejudices, ignorance, settled opinions, and +firmly-established customs, and it is therefore quite time we were +beginning our work. Remember the tremendous importance of our object. +An Englishman, Lord Rosebury, in a recent address, insists on a +special preparation for the hereditary rulers who sit in Parliament; +and, if those who are to rule mind need this, how much more do they +need it who are to stamp mind, and give it its first direction! Horace +Mann shall close this chapter with one of his impressive sentences. +Says this truly great man, "If we fasten our eyes upon the effects +which education may throw forward into immortal destinies, it is then +that we are awed, amazed, overpowered, by the thought that we have +been placed in a system where the soul's eternal flight may he made +higher or lower by those who plume its tender wings, and direct its +early course. Such is the magnitude, the transcendence, of this +subject." + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +SUPPLEMENTARY. + + +Some persons have asked, after hearing or reading the foregoing +suggestions, "Do not _men_ also work too much and read too +little? Is not the influence of _fathers_ on their children to be +considered? Should not _fathers_ be educated for their vocation?" +To these questions there can be but one answer. Yes! and the yes +cannot be too emphatic. But the paper which formed the nucleus of +these chapters was written by a woman at the request of women, to be +read before a woman's club assembled to consider the question, "How +shall the mother obtain culture?" The very fact that such a question +had suggested itself to them, shows that women feel the need of more +than their present opportunities for culture. If men feel this need, +there is nothing to prevent them from assembling to discuss their +unsatisfactory condition, to devise ways of improving it, to consider +their responsibilities, and to inquire how they shall best qualify +themselves to fulfil the duties of their vocation. The writer is under +the impression that men's clubs do not meet especially with a view to +such discussions. + +The following paragraphs comprise the first part of a letter published +in "The New York Tribune." + +"These letters will speak to the hearts of thousands of women all +through the country, and particularly to the women "out West," as they +have already to my own. This problem has been revolved in my mind +again and again, but no clew has appeared by which to solve it; and I +have laid it down hopelessly, feeling that there is no alternative but +to submit and carry the burden as long as strength endures, and seeing +no outlook for the future but in a brief period of old age, when care +and labor must come on younger shoulders. + +"I want to speak only of the condition of women with whom I am best +acquainted,--the wives of farmers in this part of Illinois. Many +instances I have known of women who received in the East an education +in some cases superior to that of their husbands, but a life of +constant care and drudgery has caused them to lose, instead of gain in +mental culture, while the husbands have grown away from them; and it +is only in subjects of a lower nature that they have a common +interest. A man, in his every-day intercourse with other men, and his +business calls into all kinds of places and scenes, must be a fool not +to receive new ideas, not to become more intelligent on many subjects. +But what can be expected of the wife, almost always at home in the +isolated farm-house, in a sparsely settled community, and if poor and +struggling with debt, as many are, with no reading except, one or two +newspapers? If she had a library of books, it would make but little +difference, for she has no time to read them. All through the Western +country there is an absolute dearth of women's "help." "A girl" can +hardly be obtained for love or money. Girls in towns or cities will +not go into the country, and country girls are too independent. If +they have a father's house, they will not leave it for any length of +time, as actual want is not known here in the country. Within a radius +of five miles in every direction from my home, where I have lived +eight years, I have never known or heard of a family or person +suffering for any thing to eat, drink, or wear; and have never had a +call for help in that direction. A house-mother of my acquaintance, +whose husband owns a "section" farm, suffers much from illness, and +has a large family, yet for months has been without any help in her +work but that of her little girls,--the oldest not over +twelve,--simply because she could not get a servant. The farmers +themselves are under less necessity to labor than in many other parts +of the country. Farms are comparatively large, and produce large +crops, and it pays them to hire laborers. Many farmers work in the +field very little, while the wife and mother does the housework not +only for her own family, but for from one to three laborers. During +the rush of crop raising and harvesting, from April to August, she +must be up at four in the morning, and she cannot have her supper +until the farm work is all done; and by the time her children are put +to bed, the milk cared for, and dishes washed, it is nine o'clock or +after. It is hard for a woman who is hungry for reading to see how +much leisure even "hired men" have to read,--their winter and rainy +days, their long noonings and evenings, and odd bits of time, while +she has comparatively none." + +It seems, then, that it is with women as with men: at the West too few +workers for the work, at the East too little work for the workers. +Now, in the case of the men, there is a regularly organized plan to +bring the workers to the work. Laborers are taken from the East where +they stand in each other's way, and carried to the West where their +services are needed. Why not have some arrangement of this kind for +the women? In the present condition of things, destitute women and +girls congregate in our cities, and in dull seasons depend on charity +for their daily food. In Boston, during the last winter, this +charitable feeding was reduced to a system, and, according to +published reports, immense numbers were thus supplied with food. It +seems a pity that women and girls should starve or live on charity in +our cities, while so many families in the West are suffering for their +help. Can there not be some concerted plan between these widely +separated sections of the country whereby at least a portion of our +destitute ones can be conveyed to the West, and there provided with +comfortable homes? + +By private letters received from "Tribune" readers living in different +parts of the country, it appears that many thoughtful people are +considering our problem, and devising ways of solving it. One of these +letters says, "You sprinkle rose water where you should pour +aquafortis. You say husbands '_don't know_' that their wives are +overworked. The truth is, they don't care." The writer recommends that +the laws be so altered as to make second marriages illegal, assuming +that, if a man could have only one wife, he would take good care of +that one. This is an unpleasant view of the case, and would not be +presented here, only that, from the earnest downrightness of the +letter, it seems probable that its writer speaks from knowledge, and +represents a class,--a small one, let us hope. + +Three private letters, coming one from the South, one from the East, +and one from the West, declare that woman's present state of +invalidism and thraldom to labor is occasioned by the too frequent +recurrence of the duties and exhaustive demands of maternity. The +writers of the letters affirm, that, in these matters, women are often +made the slaves of sensual husbands, and earnestly entreat that this +shall be mentioned among the "causes of the present state of things." + +The only sure and lasting remedy for the above-mentioned evils, and +others similar to them, is a wise education. When man is wisely +educated, and not till then, will he have a proper consideration for +woman. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Domestic Problem, by Abby Morton Diaz + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DOMESTIC PROBLEM *** + +This file should be named dmprb10.txt or dmprb10.zip +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, dmprb11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, dmprb10a.txt + +Produced by Steve Schulze, Charles Franks +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. +This file was produced from images generously made available +by the CWRU Preservation Department Digital Library + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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