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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e00752d --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #67553 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/67553) diff --git a/old/67553-0.txt b/old/67553-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index f442a89..0000000 --- a/old/67553-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1214 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Etiquette for Little Folks, by -Anonymous - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Etiquette for Little Folks - Susie Sunbeam's Series - -Author: Anonymous - -Release Date: March 3, 2022 [eBook #67553] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading - Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet - Archive/American Libraries.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE FOR LITTLE -FOLKS *** - - - - [Illustration: Woman with two children] - - - - - ETIQUETTE - - FOR - - LITTLE FOLKS. - - SUSIE SUNBEAM’S SERIES. - - BOSTON: - G. W. COTTRELL, PUBLISHER. - 36 Cornhill. - - - - - Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1856, - BY J. Q. PREBLE, - In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the United States - for the Southern District of New-York. - - - _Stereotyped by_ - NESMITH & TEALL, - 29 Beekman Street. - - - - -ETIQUETTE - -FOR - -LITTLE FOLKS. - -RULES FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR AT HOME. - - -Never enter the house with your hat on, and always bow to any strangers -you may meet at home. - -If you pass by your parents at any place, where you see them, either by -themselves or with company, always bow to them. - -If you wish to speak to your parents, and see them engaged in discourse -with company, draw back, and leave your business till afterwards; but -if it is really necessary to speak to them, be sure to whisper. - -Never speak to your parents without some title of respect, as Sir, -Madam, &c. - -Dispute not, nor delay to obey your parents’ commands. - -Go not out of doors without your parents’ leave, and be sure to return -by the limited time. - -Never grumble, or show discontent at any thing your parents appoint, -speak or do. - -If any command or errand is given you to perform, do it with alacrity. - -Bear with meekness and patience, and without murmuring or sullenness, -your parents’ reproofs or corrections, even if it should sometimes -happen that they are undeserved. - -Never make faces or contortions, nor grimaces, while any one is giving -you commands. - -Never take another’s chair, if it be vacated for a short time; it is -impolite. - -Never quarrel with your brothers and sisters, but live in peace and -amity. - -Use respectful and courteous language towards all the domestics. Never -be domineering nor insulting, for it is the mark of an ignorant and -purse-proud child. - - -AT TABLE. - -Come not to table without having your hands and face washed, and your -hair combed. - -Sit not down until your elders are seated. It is unbecoming to take -your place first. - -Offer not to carve for yourself, or to take anything, even though it be -something you much desire. - -Ask not for anything, but tarry till it be offered to you. - -Find no fault with anything that is given you. - -When you are helped, be not the first to eat. - -Speak not at table. If others are discoursing, meddle not with the -matter; but be silent, except when spoken to. - -If you wish anything from the servants, call them softly. - -Eat not too fast, nor with greedy behavior. - -Eat not too much, but moderately. - -Eat not so slowly as to make others wait for you. - -Make not a noise with your tongue, mouth, lips, or breath, in eating or -drinking. - -Be sure never to speak with food in your mouth. - -Endeavor so to eat, that none may see your food while chewing. - -Stare not in the face of any one, especially your elders, at the table. - -Lean not your elbow on the table, nor on the chair back. - -Spit not, cough not, nor blow your nose at the table, if it can be -avoided; but if it be necessary, do it aside, and without noise. - -Stuff not your mouth so much as to fill your cheeks. Be content with -small mouthfuls. - -Blow not your food when too hot, but wait with patience till it becomes -cool. - -Smell not of your food; turn not the other side of it upward to view it -on your plate. - -Spit not forth anything that is not convenient to be swallowed, such -as the stones of plums, cherries, or the like; but with your left hand, -neatly move them to the side of your plate. - -Fix not your eye upon the plate of another, nor upon the food on the -table. - -Lift not up your eyes, nor roll them about while you are drinking. - -Bend your body a little downward to your plate, when you move anything -that is carried to your mouth. - -Look not earnestly on any one that is eating. - -Gnaw not bones at the table, but clear them with your knife, (unless -very small) and hold them not with the whole hand, but with two fingers. - -Drink not with anything in your mouth. - -Before and after you drink, wipe your mouth with your napkin. - -Never pick your teeth at table. - -Never drink till you have quite emptied your mouth, and do not drink -often. - -Enter not in company without a bow. - -Be careful not to turn your back to any, but place yourself so that -none will be behind you. - -Lean not on the chair of a superior, standing behind him. - -Touch not, nor look upon the books or writing of another, unless the -owner invite or desire it. - -Come not near when another reads a letter, or other paper. - -Let your countenance be moderately cheerful, neither laughing nor -frowning. - -To look upon one in company, and immediately after whisper to another, -is unmannerly. - -Whisper not in company. Be not froward and fretful among your equals, -but gentle and affable. - -If you cannot avoid gaping, shut your mouth, with your hand or -handkerchief before it, turning the face aside. - - -AMONG OTHER CHILDREN. - -As near as may be, converse not with any but those that are good, -sober, and virtuous: “Evil communications corrupt good manners.” - -Reprove your companions as often as there shall be occasion, for wicked -actions or indecent expressions. - -Be willing to take those words or actions as jesting, which you have -reason to believe were designed as such. - -If your companion be a little too sarcastic in speaking, strive not to -take notice of it, or be moved at all by it. - -Abuse him not, either by word or deed. - -Deal justly among those who are your equals, as solicitously as if you -were a man with men, and about business of higher importance. - -Be not selfish altogether, but kind, free, and generous to others. - -Avoid sinful and unlawful recreations, and all such as prejudice the -welfare of body or mind. - -Scorn not, nor laugh at any because of their infirmities; nor affix -to any one a vexing title of contempt and reproach; but pity such as -are so visited, and be glad that you are otherwise distinguished and -favored. - - - - -IN SCHOOL. - - -Bow at entering, especially if the teacher be present. - -Walk quietly to your own seat, and move not from one place to another -till school time be over. - -If your teacher be conversing with a stranger, stare not at them, nor -listen to their talk. - -Interrupt not your teacher while a stranger or visitor is with him, but -defer any question or request till he be at leisure. - -If your teacher speak to you, rise up and bow, making your answer -standing. - -If a stranger speak to you in school, stand up and answer, with the -same respect and ceremony, both of word and gesture, as if you were -speaking to your teacher. - -Make not haste out of school, but soberly retire when your turn comes, -without hurry or noise. - -Go not rudely home through the streets. Stand not talking with boys who -delay you; but go quietly home, and with all convenient speed. - - - - -AT CHURCH. - - -Walk quietly and soberly to the pew; run not, nor go playing. - -Sit where you are directed by your parents. - -Change not seats, but continue in the place where you are desired. - -Talk not in church. Fix your eye upon the minister; let it not wildly -wander to gaze on any person or thing. - -Attend diligently to the words of the minister. Pray with him when -he prays, at least in your heart; and while he is preaching, listen -attentively, that you may remember. Be not hasty to run out of the -church after the worship is ended, as if you were weary of being there. - -Walk decently and soberly home, without haste or playfulness, thinking -upon what you have been hearing. - -Always remember to be punctual at church. Never, if it can possibly be -avoided, disturb the services by coming in after they have commenced. - - - - -IN THE STREET. - - -Walk quietly and unobtrusively in the street, neither singing, -whistling, or shouting. - -Affront none, especially your elders, by word or deed. - -Jeer not at any person, whatever. - -Always give the right hand to your superiors, (by superiors, I do not -mean so much in regard to birth, as age, merit, and the light in -which they are regarded by the world,) when you either meet or walk -with them; and mind also to give them the wall, in meeting or walking -with them; for that is the upper hand, though in walking your superior -should then be at your left hand. - -But when three persons walk together, the middle place is the most -honorable; and a son may walk at his father’s right hand, while his -younger brother walks at his left. - -Give your superiors place to pass before you, in any narrow place where -two persons cannot pass at once. - -If you go with your parents, teacher, or any superior, go not playfully -through the streets. - -Pay your respects to all you meet, of your acquaintance or friends. - -It is impolite to stare at every unusual person or thing which you may -see in the street, or to use any improper postures, either of head, -hands, feet, or body. - - - - -TO YOUR PARENTS. - - -Children, these are the most essential of those rules of behavior, -the observance of which will deliver you from the disgraceful titles -of sordid and clownish, and entail upon you the honor of being called -well-bred children; for there is scarcely a sadder sight, than a -clownish and unmannerly child. Avoid, therefore, with the greatest -diligence, so vile an ignominy. - -Be humble, submissive, and obedient to those who have a just claim to -your subjection, by nature and providence: such are parents, masters, -or tutors, whose commands and laws have no other tendency than your -truest good. Be always obsequious and respectful, never bold, insolent, -or saucy, either in words or gestures. - -Let your body be on every occasion, pliable, and ready to manifest, -in due and becoming ceremonies, the inward reverence you bear towards -those above you. - -By these means, by timely and early accustoming yourselves to a sweet -and spontaneous obedience in your youthful stations and relations, -your minds being habituated to that which is so indispensably your -duty, the task of obedience in farther relations will be performed with -greater ease and pleasure; and when you arrive at manhood, there will -remain in your well-managed minds no presumptuous folly, that may tempt -you to be other than faithful and good citizens. - - - - -TO SUPERIORS. - - -Among superiors, speak not till you are spoken to, or are asked to -speak. - -Hold not your hand, nor anything else before your mouth when you speak. -Come not very near the one you speak to. - -If your superior speak to you while you sit, stand up before you give -an answer. - -Speak not very loud, nor too low. Answer not one who is speaking to -you, till he is done. - -Strive not with your superiors, in argument or discourse; but easily -submit your opinion to their assertions. - -If your superior speak anything wherein you know he is mistaken, -correct not, nor contradict him, nor laugh at the hearing of it; but -pass over the error, without notice or interruption. - -Speak not, without Sir, or some other title of respect, which is due to -him to whom you speak. - -Mention not frivolous or little things among grave persons or superiors. - -If your superior hesitate in his words, pretend not to help him out. - -Come not very near to two that are whispering, neither ask what they -converse upon. - -When your parent or master speaks to any person, speak not, nor hearken -to them. - -If immodest words be used in your hearing, smile not, but settle your -countenance, as if you did not hear it. - -Boast not in discourse of your own wit or doings. - -If your superior be relating a story, say not, “I have heard it -before,” but attend to it as if it were altogether new to you. Seem not -to question the truth of it. If he tell it not right, suggest not, nor -endeavor to help him out, or add to his relation. - -Beware how you utter anything hard to be believed. - -Interrupt no one in speaking, though he be your intimate. - -Coming into company when any topic is being discussed, ask not what was -the preceding conversation, but listen to the remainder. - -Laugh not in, or at, your own story, wit or jest. - -Speaking of any distant person, it is rude and unmannerly to point at -him. - -Be not over earnest in talking, to justify your own words. - -Let your words be modest, about those things which concern only -yourself. - -Repeat not the words of a superior, who asks you a question, or talks -with you. - -[Illustration: decorative line] - - - - -TO EQUALS. - - -Be kind, pleasant, and loving, not cross, nor churlish, to your equals; -and in thus behaving yourselves, all persons will naturally desire -your familiar acquaintance; every one will be ready and willing, upon -opportunity, to assist you. - -Your friends will be then all those who know you, and observe the -excellence and sweetness of your deportment. This practice, also, by -inducing a habit of obliging, will fit you for converse and society, -and facilitate and assist your dealing with men in riper years. - -[Illustration: decorative line] - - - - -TO INFERIORS. - - -Be meek, courteous, and affable to your inferiors; not proud nor -scornful. To be courteous, even to the lowest, is a true index of a -great and generous mind. But the insulting and scornful one, who -has been himself originally low, ignoble, or beggarly, makes himself -ridiculous to his equals, and by his inferiors is repaid with scorn and -hatred. - -[Illustration: decorative line] - - - - -RECOGNITIONS. - - -A gentleman, on meeting a lady of his acquaintance in the street, -or elsewhere, should not presume to bow to her, till she has first -recognised him; or she may feel compelled to notice him, when she would -not choose to do so otherwise. - -A gentleman should never recognise a lady, to whom he has never been -presented, at a ball or evening party, and should pass her as a -stranger, unless she chooses to recognise him, when he should, as in -all other cases, return the salute. - -A very young person should wait to be recognised by one more advanced -in age. - - - - -INTRODUCTIONS. - - -On giving introductions, always present a gentleman to a lady, save -when a lady enters a room where several persons are assembled, when -the lady is presented. Very young persons should be presented to older -ones; and we should always present individuals to those persons to whom -we owe particular respect, on account of age, station, &c. - -It is in good taste to present both parties, merely inverting the order -of the names. - - - - -COMPLIMENTARY CARDS AND NOTES. - - -Miss Foster presents her compliments to Miss Edwards, and requests the -honor of her company at a Tea-party, on Wednesday afternoon. - - 16 Arch street. - Tuesday noon. - - * * * * * - -Miss Edwards presents her respects to Miss Foster, and accepts her -kind invitation with pleasure. - - 30 Chestnut street. - Tuesday noon. - - * * * * * - -Miss E. presents her respects to Miss F., and regrets that a -pre-engagement prevents her acceptance of her polite invitation. - - * * * * * - -William Harris presents his respectful compliments to Miss Brown, and -trusts she has experienced no ill consequences from her last evening’s -fatigue at the assembly. - - * * * * * - -Miss Brown finds herself greatly obliged by Mr. Harris’ kind inquiries, -and is happy to inform him she is perfectly well. - - * * * * * - -Miss Brown is greatly obliged by Mr. Harris’ kind inquiry, and is sorry -to say that she suffers under a severe cold, in consequence of last -evening’s amusement. - - * * * * * - -Mr. W. presents his compliments to Mr. S., and hopes, if Mr. S. is -disengaged, that he will dine with him on Monday next, at half-past -three o’clock. - - * * * * * - -Mr. S. presents his respects to Mr. W., and will avail himself of his -kind invitation with pleasure. - - * * * * * - -Mr. S. regrets that indisposition will prevent him the honor of dining -with Mr. W. on Monday next. - - * * * * * - -Miss Dudley’s compliments to Mrs. Windsor, and will be obliged by her -company to dinner on Thursday next, at three o’clock. - - * * * * * - -Mrs. Johnson returns her best respects to Mr. Wilson, and is greatly -indebted to him for his obliging present. - - * * * * * - -Mr. and Mrs. Bristow present their compliments to Mrs. Truman, and hope -for the pleasure of her company on Thursday evening next, to tea. - - * * * * * - -Mr. and Mrs. Truman are greatly obliged by Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind -invitation, and will do themselves the honor of waiting upon them. - - * * * * * - -Mr. and Mrs. Truman are exceedingly sorry that a pre-engagement will -prevent them from accepting Mr. and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation. - - - - -DINNER PARTIES. - - -Whenever dinners are given to invited guests, civility requires that -an early answer should be returned; for the proper wording of such -answers, I refer you to the Notes of Invitation, where full directions -are given. An acceptance, in such a case, should be as binding as a -promissory note; and no light cause should ever be allowed to prevent -your fulfilling your engagement. Want of punctuality at a dinner party, -is an affront to the whole company, as well as to the gentleman and -lady of the house. - -A ceremonious dinner requires that the company be well and handsomely -dressed, though not in such gay attire as is usually worn at a ball or -evening party. - -Arrived at the place, and disrobed of your cloak, let your gloves be -on, and with erect form and firm step, enter the parlor. Look towards -the lady of the house, and walk up at once to her, not turning to the -right or the left, or noticing any one, until you have made your bow to -her, and to the host. Then you may turn off towards the young people, -and take a seat among them, with that agreeable expression of sympathy -on your face, which encourages conversation. - -On entering the dining-room, you must use your eyes to discover which -part of the table is considered the most honorable. Try to seat -yourself among the least important portion of the company, unless -desired by the lady or gentleman of the house to take a particular seat. - -When fairly seated in the right place, spread your napkin in your lap -to protect your dress from accident; take off your gloves, and put them -in your lap, under your napkin. - -When you send your plate for anything, whether by the hand of a -servant or friend, take off the knife and fork, and lay them down on -the cloth, supporting the ends on your bread, or hold them in your hand -in a horizontal position. - -After dinner, you are expected to take leave more generally and -sociably, than after any other kind of party, except it be a small -supper party. - - - - -GOING INTO COMPANY. - - -A young person ought to be able to go into a room, and address the -company, without the least embarrassment. - -Ignorance and vice are the only things of which we need be ashamed. -Avoid these, and you may go into what company you will. - -A modest assurance in every part of life, is the most advantageous -qualification we can possibly acquire. - -[Illustration: decorative line] - - - - -GOOD BREEDING. - - -To show the politeness of a true gentleman, you must be quick to -observe four things: - -1. What your place is. - -2. What is due to every person. - -3. How to do what is proper in an agreeable manner. - -4. How to make yourself acceptable to others, in person, manners, and -conversation. - -You can be as polite to the boot-black as to the President. This is -done, not by an air of condescension, but by treating him as a man, -according to his place. Render him his due, and he will be likely to -render you yours. - -The same person who is overbearing to his inferiors, is likely to show -a cringing servility to his superiors. Both faults are marks of a mean -and groveling mind. Maintain your self-respect, if you would enjoy the -respect of others. - -Cherish that delicacy of sentiment, that quick sympathy with others, -that nice sense of justice which will make you as regardful of their -feelings as of their more substantial rights, and you will not fail to -be polite. Without the sentiments of a gentleman, you may know all the -rules of politeness, and be scrupulously observant of all the external -forms of good breeding, and yet never be a gentleman. - -In short, to be a true gentleman, you must be generous and noble, -as well as just and courteous. You must be scrupulously careful to -be--Pure in body, pure in manners, pure in morals, and pure in heart. - -Follow fashion moderately, if you would follow it gracefully. Never -rely on dress to make you a gentleman. It is as flimsy a disguise as -the lion’s skin was to the ass; his braying betraying him, and his -unsuitable attire only made him appear the more ridiculous. - -A good enunciation is a distinctive mark of good breeding. Speak -your words plainly and distinctly, and in a moderate tone of voice. -Pronounce words in the manner that is used by the best bred persons, -but not affectedly, or with a strained precision. Avoid all vulgar or -inaccurate vowel sounds, as keow, ile, soit, for cow, oil, sight. Do -not slip or smother your consonants, as gen’lm’n for gentleman, mornin’ -for morning, &c. - - - - -CLEANLINESS. - - -No one can please in company, however graceful his air, unless he be -clean and neat in his person. - -He who is not thoroughly clean in his person, will be offensive to all -with whom he converses. A particular regard to the cleanliness of your -mouth, teeth, hands, and nails, is but common decency. - -A foul mouth and unclean hands, are certain marks of vulgarity; the -first is the cause of an offensive breath, which nobody can endure, and -the last is declarative of dirty work, and disgraceful negligence to -remove the filth. One may always know a gentleman by the state of his -hands and nails. The flesh at the roots should be kept back, so as to -show the semicircles at the bottom of the nails; the edges of the nails -should never be cut down below the ends of the fingers, nor should they -be suffered to grow longer than the fingers. - -For black and dirty teeth, where they are sound, there can be no -excuse. They are the mark of a lazy, vulgar fellow. Let me entreat you -to form the habit of brushing your teeth, every night before you sleep. - -Now, clean garments and a clean person, are as necessary to health, as -to prevent giving offence to other people. It is a maxim with me, which -I have lived to see verified, that he who is negligent at twenty years -of age, will be a sloven at forty, and intolerable at fifty. - -[Illustration: decorative line] - - - - -GRACEFULNESS. - - -Be graceful in your manners. The different effects of the same thing, -said or done, when accompanied or deserted by graceful manners, is -almost inconceivable. They prepare the way to the heart. From your -own observations, reflect what a disagreeable impression, an awkward -address, a slovenly figure, an ungraceful manner of speaking, whether -fluttering, or drawling, &c., make upon you, at first sight, in a -stranger, and how they prejudice you against them. - - - - -MODESTY. - - -Modesty is a polite accomplishment, and generally attendant upon merit. -It is engaging, in the highest degree, and wins the hearts of all with -whom we are acquainted. None are more disgusting in company, than the -impudent and presuming. - -Nothing can atone for the want of modesty; without it, beauty is -ungraceful, and wit detestable. - -Be particularly careful not to speak of yourself, if you can help it. -An impudent person intrudes himself abruptly upon all occasions, and is -ever the hero of his own story. - -The less you say of yourself, the more the world will give you credit -for; and the more you say of yourself, the less they will believe you. - -Whatever perfections you may have, be assured people will find them -out; but whether they do or not, nobody will take them upon your own -word. - - - - -CIVILITY. - - -The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very -difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules, and your -own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. Do -as you would be done by, is the surest method of pleasing. - -Observe carefully what is pleasing to you in others; and probably the -same things in you will please others. - -If you are pleased with the complaisance and attention of others to -you, depend upon it, the same complaisance and attention, on your part, -will equally please them. - -It is not enough not to be rude; you should be civil and distinguished -for your good breeding. The first principle of this good breeding is, -never to say anything that you think can be disagreeable to anybody in -company; but, on the contrary, you should endeavor to say what will -be agreeable to them; and that in an easy and natural manner, without -seeming to study for compliments. There is likewise such a thing as a -civil look and a rude look; you should look civil, as well as be so; -for if, while you are saying a civil thing, you look gruff and surly, -nobody will be obliged to you for a civility that seemed to come so -unwillingly. - -If you have occasion to contradict any one, or to set him right from -a mistake, it would be very brutal to say, “That is not so; I know -better;” or, “You are wrong;” but you should say, with a civil look, “I -beg your pardon, I believe you mistake;” or, “If I may take the liberty -of contradicting you, I believe it is so and so:” for, though you may -know a thing better than other people, yet is very disagreeable to -tell them so, directly, without something to soften it; but remember -particularly, that whatever you may say or do, with ever so civil an -intention, a great deal consists in the manner and the look, which must -be genteel, easy, and natural. - -Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no -provocation whatever can justify any person in being uncivil to a -woman; and the greatest man in the land would be reckoned a brute, if -he was not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is -the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours. - - - - -MORAL CHARACTER. - - -There is nothing so delicate as your moral character, and nothing -that it is your interest so much to preserve pure. Should you be -suspected of injustice, malignity, perfidy, lying, &c., all the parts -and knowledge in the world will never procure you esteem, friendship, -or respect. A strange concurrence of circumstances has sometimes -raised very bad men to high stations; but they have been raised, like -criminals to a pillory, where their persons and their crimes, by -being more conspicuous, are only the more known, the more pelted and -insulted. If in any case whatsoever, dissimulation were pardonable, it -would be in the case of morality; though, even then, a Pharasaical -pomp of virtue would not be advisable. But I will recommend to you a -most scrupulous tenderness for your moral character, and the utmost -care not to do or say anything that may ever so slightly taint it. Show -yourself, upon all occasions, the advocate, the friend, but not the -bully, of virtue. - - - - -GOOD BREEDING. - - -Observe the best and most well-bred of the French people; how agreeably -they insinuate little civilities in their conversation. They think it -so essential that they call an honest and a civil man by the same name, -of “honnete homme;” and the Romans called civility, “humanitas,” as -thinking it inseparable from humanity: and depend upon it, that your -reputation and success will, in a great measure, depend upon the degree -of good breeding of which you are master. - -From what has been said, I conclude with the observation, that -gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a short but full -description of human perfection, on this side of religious and moral -duties. - - - - -Transcriber’s Notes - -A few minor errors in punctuation and spelling were corrected. - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE FOR LITTLE -FOLKS *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> - -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Etiquette for Little Folks</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:0; margin-top:0; margin-bottom:1em;'>Susie Sunbeam's Series</p> -<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Anonymous</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: March 3, 2022 [eBook #67553]</p> -<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p> - <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)</p> -<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE FOR LITTLE FOLKS ***</div> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img001"> - <img src="images/001.jpg" class="w50" alt="Woman with two small children" /> -</span></p> - - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<div class="bbox"> -<h1>ETIQUETTE <br /><br /><span class="xsmall">FOR</span><br /><br /> <span class="big">LITTLE FOLKS</span>.</h1> - -<hr class="r5" /> -<p class="center p0"> SUSIE SUNBEAM’S SERIES.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="big">BOSTON:</span><br /> - G. W. COTTRELL, PUBLISHER.<br /> - 36 Cornhill. -</p> -</div> - -</div> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> - -<p class="center p0"><span class="small">Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1856,</span><br /> - <span class="smcap">By</span> J. Q. PREBLE,<br /> -<span class="small">In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court of the United States for the - Southern District of New-York.</span></p> - -<hr class="r5 p2" /> -<p class="center p0 small"><i>Stereotyped by</i><br /> -NESMITH & TEALL, <br /> -29 Beekman Street. -</p></div> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span></p> - -<p class="center p0"><span class="xxbig">ETIQUETTE</span><br /><br /> -<span class="xsmall">FOR</span><br /><br /> -<span class="xxbig">LITTLE FOLKS.</span></p> -<hr class="r5" /> -<h2>RULES FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR AT HOME.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Never enter the house with your hat on, and always bow to any strangers -you may meet at home.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p> - -<p>If you pass by your parents at any place, where you see them, either by -themselves or with company, always bow to them.</p> - -<p>If you wish to speak to your parents, and see them engaged in discourse -with company, draw back, and leave your business till afterwards; but -if it is really necessary to speak to them, be sure to whisper.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p> - -<p>Never speak to your parents without some title of respect, as Sir, -Madam, &c.</p> - -<p>Dispute not, nor delay to obey your parents’ commands.</p> - -<p>Go not out of doors without your parents’ leave, and be sure to return -by the limited time.</p> - -<p>Never grumble, or show discontent at any thing your parents appoint, -speak or do.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p> - -<p>If any command or errand is given you to perform, do it with alacrity.</p> - -<p>Bear with meekness and patience, and without murmuring or sullenness, -your parents’ reproofs or corrections, even if it should sometimes -happen that they are undeserved.</p> - -<p>Never make faces or contortions, nor grimaces, while any one is giving -you commands.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p> - -<p>Never take another’s chair, if it be vacated for a short time; it is -impolite.</p> - -<p>Never quarrel with your brothers and sisters, but live in peace and -amity.</p> - -<p>Use respectful and courteous language towards all the domestics. Never -be domineering nor insulting, for it is the mark of an ignorant and -purse-proud child.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span></p> - - -<h2 class="nobreak">AT TABLE.</h2> -<hr class="r5" /> -<p>Come not to table without having your hands and face washed, and your -hair combed.</p> - -<p>Sit not down until your elders are seated. It is unbecoming to take -your place first.</p> - -<p>Offer not to carve for yourself, or to take anything, even though it be -something you much desire.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p> - -<p>Ask not for anything, but tarry till it be offered to you.</p> - -<p>Find no fault with anything that is given you.</p> - -<p>When you are helped, be not the first to eat.</p> - -<p>Speak not at table. If others are discoursing, meddle not with the -matter; but be silent, except when spoken to.</p> - -<p>If you wish anything from the servants, call them softly.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p> - -<p>Eat not too fast, nor with greedy behavior.</p> - -<p>Eat not too much, but moderately.</p> - -<p>Eat not so slowly as to make others wait for you.</p> - -<p>Make not a noise with your tongue, mouth, lips, or breath, in eating or -drinking.</p> - -<p>Be sure never to speak with food in your mouth.</p> - -<p>Endeavor so to eat, that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span> none may see your food while chewing.</p> - -<p>Stare not in the face of any one, especially your elders, at the table.</p> - -<p>Lean not your elbow on the table, nor on the chair back.</p> - -<p>Spit not, cough not, nor blow your nose at the table, if it can be -avoided; but if it be necessary, do it aside, and without noise.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p> - -<p>Stuff not your mouth so much as to fill your cheeks. Be content with -small mouthfuls.</p> - -<p>Blow not your food when too hot, but wait with patience till it becomes -cool.</p> - -<p>Smell not of your food; turn not the other side of it upward to view it -on your plate.</p> - -<p>Spit not forth anything that is not convenient to be swallowed,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span> such -as the stones of plums, cherries, or the like; but with your left hand, -neatly move them to the side of your plate.</p> - -<p>Fix not your eye upon the plate of another, nor upon the food on the -table.</p> - -<p>Lift not up your eyes, nor roll them about while you are drinking.</p> - -<p>Bend your body a little<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span> downward to your plate, when you move anything -that is carried to your mouth.</p> - -<p>Look not earnestly on any one that is eating.</p> - -<p>Gnaw not bones at the table, but clear them with your knife, (unless -very small) and hold them not with the whole hand, but with two fingers.</p> - -<p>Drink not with anything in your mouth.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p> - -<p>Before and after you drink, wipe your mouth with your napkin.</p> - -<p>Never pick your teeth at table.</p> - -<p>Never drink till you have quite emptied your mouth, and do not drink -often.</p> - -<p>Enter not in company without a bow.</p> - -<p>Be careful not to turn your back to any, but place yourself<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span> so that -none will be behind you.</p> - -<p>Lean not on the chair of a superior, standing behind him.</p> - -<p>Touch not, nor look upon the books or writing of another, unless the -owner invite or desire it.</p> - -<p>Come not near when another reads a letter, or other paper.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p> - -<p>Let your countenance be moderately cheerful, neither laughing nor -frowning.</p> - -<p>To look upon one in company, and immediately after whisper to another, -is unmannerly.</p> - -<p>Whisper not in company. Be not froward and fretful among your equals, -but gentle and affable.</p> - -<p>If you cannot avoid gaping,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span> shut your mouth, with your hand or -handkerchief before it, turning the face aside.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p> - - -<h2 class="nobreak">AMONG OTHER CHILDREN.</h2> -<hr class="r5" /> -<p>As near as may be, converse not with any but those that are good, -sober, and virtuous: “Evil communications corrupt good manners.”</p> - -<p>Reprove your companions as often as there shall be occasion, for wicked -actions or indecent expressions.</p> - -<p>Be willing to take those<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span> words or actions as jesting, which you have -reason to believe were designed as such.</p> - -<p>If your companion be a little too sarcastic in speaking, strive not to -take notice of it, or be moved at all by it.</p> - -<p>Abuse him not, either by word or deed.</p> - -<p>Deal justly among those who are your equals, as solicitously as if you -were a man<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span> with men, and about business of higher importance.</p> - -<p>Be not selfish altogether, but kind, free, and generous to others.</p> - -<p>Avoid sinful and unlawful recreations, and all such as prejudice the -welfare of body or mind.</p> - -<p>Scorn not, nor laugh at any because of their infirmities; nor affix -to any one a vexing<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span> title of contempt and reproach; but pity such as -are so visited, and be glad that you are otherwise distinguished and -favored.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="IN_SCHOOL">IN SCHOOL.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Bow at entering, especially if the teacher be present.</p> - -<p>Walk quietly to your own seat, and move not from one place to another -till school time be over.</p> - -<p>If your teacher be conversing with a stranger, stare not at them, nor -listen to their talk.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p> - -<p>Interrupt not your teacher while a stranger or visitor is with him, but -defer any question or request till he be at leisure.</p> - -<p>If your teacher speak to you, rise up and bow, making your answer -standing.</p> - -<p>If a stranger speak to you in school, stand up and answer, with the -same respect and ceremony, both of word and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span> gesture, as if you were -speaking to your teacher.</p> - -<p>Make not haste out of school, but soberly retire when your turn comes, -without hurry or noise.</p> - -<p>Go not rudely home through the streets. Stand not talking with boys who -delay you; but go quietly home, and with all convenient speed.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="AT_CHURCH">AT CHURCH.</h2> -</div> - -<hr class="r5" /> -<p>Walk quietly and soberly to the pew; run not, nor go playing.</p> - -<p>Sit where you are directed by your parents.</p> - -<p>Change not seats, but continue in the place where you are desired.</p> - -<p>Talk not in church. Fix your eye upon the minister;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span> let it not wildly -wander to gaze on any person or thing.</p> - -<p>Attend diligently to the words of the minister. Pray with him when -he prays, at least in your heart; and while he is preaching, listen -attentively, that you may remember. Be not hasty to run out of the -church after the worship is ended, as if you were weary of being there.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span></p> - -<p>Walk decently and soberly home, without haste or playfulness, thinking -upon what you have been hearing.</p> - -<p>Always remember to be punctual at church. Never, if it can possibly be -avoided, disturb the services by coming in after they have commenced.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="IN_THE_STREET">IN THE STREET.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Walk quietly and unobtrusively in the street, neither singing, -whistling, or shouting.</p> - -<p>Affront none, especially your elders, by word or deed.</p> - -<p>Jeer not at any person, whatever.</p> - -<p>Always give the right hand to your superiors, (by superiors, I do not -mean so much<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span> in regard to birth, as age, merit, and the light in -which they are regarded by the world,) when you either meet or walk -with them; and mind also to give them the wall, in meeting or walking -with them; for that is the upper hand, though in walking your superior -should then be at your left hand.</p> - -<p>But when three persons walk together, the middle place is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span> the most -honorable; and a son may walk at his father’s right hand, while his -younger brother walks at his left.</p> - -<p>Give your superiors place to pass before you, in any narrow place where -two persons cannot pass at once.</p> - -<p>If you go with your parents, teacher, or any superior, go not playfully -through the streets.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p> - -<p>Pay your respects to all you meet, of your acquaintance or friends.</p> - -<p>It is impolite to stare at every unusual person or thing which you may -see in the street, or to use any improper postures, either of head, -hands, feet, or body.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_YOUR_PARENTS">TO YOUR PARENTS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Children, these are the most essential of those rules of behavior, -the observance of which will deliver you from the disgraceful titles -of sordid and clownish, and entail upon you the honor of being called -well-bred children; for there is scarcely a sadder sight, than a -clownish and unmannerly<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span> child. Avoid, therefore, with the greatest -diligence, so vile an ignominy.</p> - -<p>Be humble, submissive, and obedient to those who have a just claim to -your subjection, by nature and providence: such are parents, masters, -or tutors, whose commands and laws have no other tendency than your -truest good. Be always obsequious and respectful,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span> never bold, insolent, -or saucy, either in words or gestures.</p> - -<p>Let your body be on every occasion, pliable, and ready to manifest, -in due and becoming ceremonies, the inward reverence you bear towards -those above you.</p> - -<p>By these means, by timely and early accustoming yourselves to a sweet -and spontaneous obedience in your youthful<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span> stations and relations, -your minds being habituated to that which is so indispensably your -duty, the task of obedience in farther relations will be performed with -greater ease and pleasure; and when you arrive at manhood, there will -remain in your well-managed minds no presumptuous folly, that may tempt -you to be other than faithful and good citizens.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_SUPERIORS">TO SUPERIORS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Among superiors, speak not till you are spoken to, or are asked to -speak.</p> - -<p>Hold not your hand, nor anything else before your mouth when you speak. -Come not very near the one you speak to.</p> - -<p>If your superior speak to you while you sit, stand up before you give -an answer.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p> - -<p>Speak not very loud, nor too low. Answer not one who is speaking to -you, till he is done.</p> - -<p>Strive not with your superiors, in argument or discourse; but easily -submit your opinion to their assertions.</p> - -<p>If your superior speak anything wherein you know he is mistaken, -correct not, nor contradict him, nor laugh at the hearing of it; but -pass over<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span> the error, without notice or interruption.</p> - -<p>Speak not, without Sir, or some other title of respect, which is due to -him to whom you speak.</p> - -<p>Mention not frivolous or little things among grave persons or superiors.</p> - -<p>If your superior hesitate in his words, pretend not to help him out.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p> - -<p>Come not very near to two that are whispering, neither ask what they -converse upon.</p> - -<p>When your parent or master speaks to any person, speak not, nor hearken -to them.</p> - -<p>If immodest words be used in your hearing, smile not, but settle your -countenance, as if you did not hear it.</p> - -<p>Boast not in discourse of your own wit or doings.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span></p> - -<p>If your superior be relating a story, say not, “I have heard it -before,” but attend to it as if it were altogether new to you. Seem not -to question the truth of it. If he tell it not right, suggest not, nor -endeavor to help him out, or add to his relation.</p> - -<p>Beware how you utter anything hard to be believed.</p> - -<p>Interrupt no one in speaking, though he be your intimate.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p> - -<p>Coming into company when any topic is being discussed, ask not what was -the preceding conversation, but listen to the remainder.</p> - -<p>Laugh not in, or at, your own story, wit or jest.</p> - -<p>Speaking of any distant person, it is rude and unmannerly to point at -him.</p> - -<p>Be not over earnest in talking, to justify your own words.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p> - -<p>Let your words be modest, about those things which concern only -yourself.</p> - -<p>Repeat not the words of a superior, who asks you a question, or talks -with you.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002"> - <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Decorative line" /> -</span></p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_EQUALS">TO EQUALS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Be kind, pleasant, and loving, not cross, nor churlish, to your equals; -and in thus behaving<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span> yourselves, all persons will naturally desire -your familiar acquaintance; every one will be ready and willing, upon -opportunity, to assist you.</p> - -<p>Your friends will be then all those who know you, and observe the -excellence and sweetness of your deportment. This practice, also, by -inducing a habit of obliging, will fit you for converse and society, -and facilitate<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span> and assist your dealing with men in riper years.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002a"> - <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Decorative line" /> -</span></p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="TO_INFERIORS">TO INFERIORS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Be meek, courteous, and affable to your inferiors; not proud nor -scornful. To be courteous, even to the lowest, is a true index of a -great and generous mind. But the insulting and scornful one, who<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span> -has been himself originally low, ignoble, or beggarly, makes himself -ridiculous to his equals, and by his inferiors is repaid with scorn and -hatred.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002b"> - <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Decorative line" /> -</span></p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="RECOGNITIONS">RECOGNITIONS.</h2> -</div> - -<hr class="r5" /> -<p>A gentleman, on meeting a lady of his acquaintance in the street, -or elsewhere, should not presume to bow to her, till she<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span> has first -recognised him; or she may feel compelled to notice him, when she would -not choose to do so otherwise.</p> - -<p>A gentleman should never recognise a lady, to whom he has never been -presented, at a ball or evening party, and should pass her as a -stranger, unless she chooses to recognise him, when he should, as in -all other cases, return the salute.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p> - -<p>A very young person should wait to be recognised by one more advanced -in age.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="INTRODUCTIONS">INTRODUCTIONS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>On giving introductions, always present a gentleman to a lady, save -when a lady enters a room where several persons are assembled, when -the lady is presented. Very young persons should be presented to older -ones; and we should always present individuals to those persons to whom -we owe<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span> particular respect, on account of age, station, &c.</p> - -<p>It is in good taste to present both parties, merely inverting the order -of the names.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="COMPLIMENTARY_CARDS_AND_NOTES">COMPLIMENTARY CARDS AND NOTES.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Miss Foster presents her compliments to Miss Edwards, and requests the -honor of her company at a Tea-party, on Wednesday afternoon.</p> - -<p class="poetry p0"> -16 Arch street.<br /> -Tuesday noon.<br /> -</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Miss Edwards presents her respects to Miss Foster, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span> accepts her -kind invitation with pleasure.</p> - -<p class="poetry p0"> -30 Chestnut street.<br /> -Tuesday noon.<br /> -</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Miss E. presents her respects to Miss F., and regrets that a -pre-engagement prevents her acceptance of her polite invitation.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>William Harris presents his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span> respectful compliments to Miss Brown, and -trusts she has experienced no ill consequences from her last evening’s -fatigue at the assembly.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Miss Brown finds herself greatly obliged by <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> Harris’ kind inquiries, -and is happy to inform him she is perfectly well.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Miss Brown is greatly obliged by <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> Harris’ kind inquiry, and is sorry -to say that she suffers under a severe cold, in consequence of last -evening’s amusement.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> W. presents his compliments to <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> S., and hopes, if <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> S. is -disengaged, that he will dine with him on Monday next, at half-past -three o’clock.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> S. presents his respects to <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> W., and will avail himself of his -kind invitation with pleasure.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> S. regrets that indisposition will prevent him the honor of dining -with <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> W. on Monday next.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Miss Dudley’s compliments to Mrs. Windsor, and will be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span> obliged by her -company to dinner on Thursday next, at three o’clock.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Mrs. Johnson returns her best respects to <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> Wilson, and is greatly -indebted to him for his obliging present.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> and Mrs. Bristow present their compliments to Mrs. Truman, and hope -for the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span> pleasure of her company on Thursday evening next, to tea.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> and Mrs. Truman are greatly obliged by <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> and Mrs. Bristow’s kind -invitation, and will do themselves the honor of waiting upon them.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p><abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> and Mrs. Truman are exceedingly sorry that a pre-engagement<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span> will -prevent them from accepting <abbr title="mister">Mr.</abbr> and Mrs. Bristow’s kind invitation.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="DINNER_PARTIES">DINNER PARTIES.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Whenever dinners are given to invited guests, civility requires that -an early answer should be returned; for the proper wording of such -answers, I refer you to the Notes of Invitation, where full directions -are given. An acceptance, in such a case, should be as binding as a -promissory<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span> note; and no light cause should ever be allowed to prevent -your fulfilling your engagement. Want of punctuality at a dinner party, -is an affront to the whole company, as well as to the gentleman and -lady of the house.</p> - -<p>A ceremonious dinner requires that the company be well and handsomely -dressed, though not in such gay attire<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span> as is usually worn at a ball or -evening party.</p> - -<p>Arrived at the place, and disrobed of your cloak, let your gloves be -on, and with erect form and firm step, enter the parlor. Look towards -the lady of the house, and walk up at once to her, not turning to the -right or the left, or noticing any one, until you have made your bow to -her, and to the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span> host. Then you may turn off towards the young people, -and take a seat among them, with that agreeable expression of sympathy -on your face, which encourages conversation.</p> - -<p>On entering the dining-room, you must use your eyes to discover which -part of the table is considered the most honorable. Try to seat -yourself among the least important portion<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span> of the company, unless -desired by the lady or gentleman of the house to take a particular seat.</p> - -<p>When fairly seated in the right place, spread your napkin in your lap -to protect your dress from accident; take off your gloves, and put them -in your lap, under your napkin.</p> - -<p>When you send your plate for anything, whether by the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span> hand of a -servant or friend, take off the knife and fork, and lay them down on -the cloth, supporting the ends on your bread, or hold them in your hand -in a horizontal position.</p> - -<p>After dinner, you are expected to take leave more generally and -sociably, than after any other kind of party, except it be a small -supper party.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="GOING_INTO_COMPANY">GOING INTO COMPANY.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>A young person ought to be able to go into a room, and address the -company, without the least embarrassment.</p> - -<p>Ignorance and vice are the only things of which we need be ashamed. -Avoid these, and you may go into what company you will.</p> - -<p>A modest assurance in every<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span> part of life, is the most advantageous -qualification we can possibly acquire.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002c"> - <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Decorative line" /> -</span></p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="GOOD_BREEDING">GOOD BREEDING.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>To show the politeness of a true gentleman, you must be quick to -observe four things:<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span></p> - -<ol> -<li>What your place is.</li> - -<li>What is due to every person.</li> - -<li>How to do what is proper in an agreeable manner.</li> - -<li>How to make yourself acceptable to others, in person, manners, and -conversation.</li> -</ol> - -<p>You can be as polite to the boot-black as to the President. This is -done, not by an air of condescension, but by treating him as a man, -according to his place. Render him his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span> due, and he will be likely to -render you yours.</p> - -<p>The same person who is overbearing to his inferiors, is likely to show -a cringing servility to his superiors. Both faults are marks of a mean -and groveling mind. Maintain your self-respect, if you would enjoy the -respect of others.</p> - -<p>Cherish that delicacy of sentiment, that quick sympathy<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span> with others, -that nice sense of justice which will make you as regardful of their -feelings as of their more substantial rights, and you will not fail to -be polite. Without the sentiments of a gentleman, you may know all the -rules of politeness, and be scrupulously observant of all the external -forms of good breeding, and yet never be a gentleman.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span></p> - -<p>In short, to be a true gentleman, you must be generous and noble, -as well as just and courteous. You must be scrupulously careful to -be—Pure in body, pure in manners, pure in morals, and pure in heart.</p> - -<p>Follow fashion moderately, if you would follow it gracefully. Never -rely on dress to make you a gentleman. It is as flimsy a disguise as -the lion’s<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span> skin was to the ass; his braying betraying him, and his -unsuitable attire only made him appear the more ridiculous.</p> - -<p>A good enunciation is a distinctive mark of good breeding. Speak -your words plainly and distinctly, and in a moderate tone of voice. -Pronounce words in the manner that is used by the best bred persons, -but not affectedly, or<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span> with a strained precision. Avoid all vulgar or -inaccurate vowel sounds, as keow, ile, soit, for cow, oil, sight. Do -not slip or smother your consonants, as gen’lm’n for gentleman, mornin’ -for morning ,&c.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CLEANLINESS">CLEANLINESS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>No one can please in company, however graceful his air, unless he be -clean and neat in his person.</p> - -<p>He who is not thoroughly clean in his person, will be offensive to all -with whom he converses. A particular regard to the cleanliness of your<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span> -mouth, teeth, hands, and nails, is but common decency.</p> - -<p>A foul mouth and unclean hands, are certain marks of vulgarity; the -first is the cause of an offensive breath, which nobody can endure, and -the last is declarative of dirty work, and disgraceful negligence to -remove the filth. One may always know a gentleman by the state of his -hands and nails.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span> The flesh at the roots should be kept back, so as to -show the semicircles at the bottom of the nails; the edges of the nails -should never be cut down below the ends of the fingers, nor should they -be suffered to grow longer than the fingers.</p> - -<p>For black and dirty teeth, where they are sound, there can be no -excuse. They are the mark of a lazy, vulgar fellow.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span> Let me entreat you -to form the habit of brushing your teeth, every night before you sleep.</p> - -<p>Now, clean garments and a clean person, are as necessary to health, as -to prevent giving offence to other people. It is a maxim with me, which -I have lived to see verified, that he who is negligent at twenty years -of age, will be a sloven<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span> at forty, and intolerable at fifty.</p> - -<p class="center p0 p2"><span class="figcenter" id="img002d"> - <img src="images/002.jpg" class="w10" alt="Decorative line" /> -</span></p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="GRACEFULNESS">GRACEFULNESS.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Be graceful in your manners. The different effects of the same thing, -said or done, when accompanied or deserted by graceful manners, is -almost inconceivable. They prepare the way to the heart. From<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span> your -own observations, reflect what a disagreeable impression, an awkward -address, a slovenly figure, an ungraceful manner of speaking, whether -fluttering, or drawling, &c., make upon you, at first sight, in a -stranger, and how they prejudice you against them.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="MODESTY">MODESTY.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Modesty is a polite accomplishment, and generally attendant upon merit. -It is engaging, in the highest degree, and wins the hearts of all with -whom we are acquainted. None are more disgusting in company, than the -impudent and presuming.</p> - -<p>Nothing can atone for the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span> want of modesty; without it, beauty is -ungraceful, and wit detestable.</p> - -<p>Be particularly careful not to speak of yourself, if you can help it. -An impudent person intrudes himself abruptly upon all occasions, and is -ever the hero of his own story.</p> - -<p>The less you say of yourself, the more the world will<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span> give you credit -for; and the more you say of yourself, the less they will believe you.</p> - -<p>Whatever perfections you may have, be assured people will find them -out; but whether they do or not, nobody will take them upon your own -word.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="CIVILITY">CIVILITY.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess, but a very -difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules, and your -own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. Do -as you would be done by, is the surest method of pleasing.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p> - -<p>Observe carefully what is pleasing to you in others; and probably the -same things in you will please others.</p> - -<p>If you are pleased with the complaisance and attention of others to -you, depend upon it, the same complaisance and attention, on your part, -will equally please them.</p> - -<p>It is not enough not to be rude; you should be civil and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span> distinguished -for your good breeding. The first principle of this good breeding is, -never to say anything that you think can be disagreeable to anybody in -company; but, on the contrary, you should endeavor to say what will -be agreeable to them; and that in an easy and natural manner, without -seeming to study for compliments. There is likewise such<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span> a thing as a -civil look and a rude look; you should look civil, as well as be so; -for if, while you are saying a civil thing, you look gruff and surly, -nobody will be obliged to you for a civility that seemed to come so -unwillingly.</p> - -<p>If you have occasion to contradict any one, or to set him right from -a mistake, it would be very brutal to say,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span> “That is not so; I know -better;” or, “You are wrong;” but you should say, with a civil look, “I -beg your pardon, I believe you mistake;” or, “If I may take the liberty -of contradicting you, I believe it is so and so:” for, though you may -know a thing better than other people, yet is very disagreeable to -tell them so, directly, without something to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span> soften it; but remember -particularly, that whatever you may say or do, with ever so civil an -intention, a great deal consists in the manner and the look, which must -be genteel, easy, and natural.</p> - -<p>Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no -provocation whatever can justify any person in being uncivil to a -woman; and the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span> greatest man in the land would be reckoned a brute, if -he was not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is -the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="MORAL_CHARACTER">MORAL CHARACTER.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>There is nothing so delicate as your moral character, and nothing -that it is your interest so much to preserve pure. Should you be -suspected of injustice, malignity, perfidy, lying, &c., all the parts -and knowledge in the world will never procure you esteem, friendship, -or respect. A<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span> strange concurrence of circumstances has sometimes -raised very bad men to high stations; but they have been raised, like -criminals to a pillory, where their persons and their crimes, by -being more conspicuous, are only the more known, the more pelted and -insulted. If in any case whatsoever, dissimulation were pardonable, it -would be in the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span> case of morality; though, even then, a Pharasaical -pomp of virtue would not be advisable. But I will recommend to you a -most scrupulous tenderness for your moral character, and the utmost -care not to do or say anything that may ever so slightly taint it. Show -yourself, upon all occasions, the advocate, the friend, but not the -bully, of virtue.</p> -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter"> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span></p> - -<h2 class="nobreak" id="GOOD_BREEDING2">GOOD BREEDING.</h2> -</div> -<hr class="r5" /> - -<p>Observe the best and most well-bred of the French people; how agreeably -they insinuate little civilities in their conversation. They think it -so essential that they call an honest and a civil man by the same name, -of “honnete homme;” and the Romans called<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span> civility, “humanitas,” as -thinking it inseparable from humanity: and depend upon it, that your -reputation and success will, in a great measure, depend upon the degree -of good breeding of which you are master.</p> - -<p>From what has been said, I conclude with the observation, that -gentleness of manners, with firmness of mind, is a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span> short but full -description of human perfection, on this side of religious and moral -duties.</p> - - -<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" /> - -<div class="chapter transnote"> -<h2 class="nobreak" id="Transcribers_Notes">Transcriber’s Notes</h2> - - -<p>A few minor errors in punctuation and spelling were corrected.</p> -</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE FOR LITTLE FOLKS ***</div> -<div style='text-align:left'> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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