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diff --git a/old/67814-0.txt b/old/67814-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index eceff99..0000000 --- a/old/67814-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1111 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of Mother Goose in Gridiron Rhyme, by -Anonymous - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: Mother Goose in Gridiron Rhyme - a collection of alphabets, rhymes, tales and jingles : with 80 - illustrations - -Author: Anonymous - -Release Date: April 11, 2022 [eBook #67814] - -Language: English - -Produced by: Charlene Taylor and the Online Distributed Proofreading - Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from - images generously made available by The Internet - Archive/American Libraries.) - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MOTHER GOOSE IN GRIDIRON -RHYME *** - - - - - - - MOTHER GOOSE - IN - GRIDIRON RHYME - - A Collection of - Alphabets, Rhymes, Tales and Jingles - WITH 80 ILLUSTRATIONS - - [Illustration] - - DECEMBER DINNER OF - - The Gridiron Club - WASHINGTON, D. C. - DECEMBER 9, 1911 - - [Illustration] - - The Gridiron Press - W. F. ROBERTS COMPANY, MANAGER - - [Illustration] - - - - -VICTIMS - -[Illustration] - - - Aldrich, Nelson W., 7 - American Protective Tariff League, 51 - Bailey, Joseph W., 21, 50 - Baldwin, Simeon E., 55 - Borah, William E., 33 - Bourne, Jonathan, 8, 72 - Brown, Norris, 72 - Bryan, William J., 55 - Butt, Maj. Archibald, 71 - Cannon, Joseph G., 9, 51, 53 - Clapp, Moses E., 71 - Clark, Champ., 9, 31, 55 - Clark, Clarence D., 70 - Congress, Members of, 32, 74 - Congress, “Ex” Members of, 30 - Consumed, Mrs. Ultimately, 39 - Crane, W. Murray, 52 - Crawford, Coe I., 71 - Cummins, Albert B., 62 - Davis, Jeff, 10 - Dixon, Joseph M., 70 - Fisher, Walter L., 12, 73 - Folk, Joseph W., 55 - Foss, Eugene N., 55 - Gardner, Augustus P., 13 - Garfield, James R., 6 - Gaynor, William J., 55 - Guggenheim, Simon, 47 - Harmon, Judson, 31, 55 - Heyburn, Weldon B., 33, 73 - High Cost of Living, 39 - Hill, Ebenezer J., 11 - Hilles, Charles D., 14, 34 - Hines, Edward, 38 - Hitchcock, Frank H., 14, 61 - Houser, Walter L., 72 - Knox, Philander C., 17 - La Follette, Robert M., 6, 18, 31, 62, 71 - Lehmann, Frederic W., 49 - Lloyd, James T., 50 - Lodge, Henry Cabot, 13, 52 - Lorimer, William, 38 - MacVeagh, Franklin, 19 - Mann, James R., 16 - Marshall, Thomas B., 55 - Meyer, George von L., 19 - Nagel, Charles, 20 - Norris, George W., 72 - Owen, Robert L., 21 - Payne, Sereno E., 26 - Penrose, Boies, 67, 70 - Pinchot, Gifford, 6, 22, 48 - Reciprocity, Canadian, 35 - Roosevelt, Theodore, 6, 37 - Root, Elihu, 24 - Sherman, James S., 25, 60, 66, 69 - Smoot, Reed, 70 - Stephenson, Isaac, 15, 38 - Stimson, Henry L., 25, 60 - Taft, William H., 8, 12, 18, 25, 26, 29, 31, 34, 51, 62 - Tariff, 7, 27, 35, 39, 51, 63 - Tariff Board, 51 - Taylor, Robert L., 36 - Tilson, John Q., 23 - Underwood, Oscar W., 27, 55 - Vreeland, Edward B., 28 - Warren, Francis E., 70 - White House, The, 5 - Wickersham, George W., 29, 54 - Wiley, Harvey W., 29 - Wilson, James, 29 - Wilson, Woodrow, 31, 55 - - - -[Illustration: - - This is the house that Jack - (ought to have) Built.] - - -[Illustration: - - Beat ’em up, beat ’em up, progressive man, - So we will, Bobby, as fast as we can; - We’ll beat ’em and kick ’em and mark ’em N. G., - Yours truly, T. R., Jimmie G. and Giff P.] - - -[Illustration: - - A Is for Aldrich, of fame and renown, - Whose tariff bill still is the talk of the town.] - -[Illustration: - - B Is for Bourne, of third term repute, - Now with the Taft boom engaged in dispute.] - -[Illustration: - - C Is for Cannon, or Clark, as you please, - Czars before whom all fall on their knees.] - -[Illustration: - - D Is for Davis, of Ozark, b’gum, - Who has just been “bridled” and now stays t’hum.] - -[Illustration: - - E Is for Ebenezer, with billiard ball head, - If t’were not white t’would probably be red.] - -[Illustration: - - F Is for Fisher, President Taft’s “hope;” - Giff is now handing out only soft soap.] - -[Illustration: - - G Is for Gardner, his daddy’s named Lodge; - Mention it to Gus, and Gussie will dodge.] - -[Illustration: - - H Is for Hitchcock, or Hilles, both good - To run a campaign, if either one would.] - -[Illustration: - - I Is for Isaac, a Biblical name; - “Ask and ye shall receive”—He knows that game.] - -[Illustration: - - J Is for Jimmie, guess it, if you can; - You will find he is somewhat of a Mann.] - -[Illustration: - - K Is for Knox, not knocking, you know, - Whose dollar diplomacy is now all the go.] - -[Illustration: - - L Is for La Follette, a whirlwind for talk, - Whose Presidential boom Taft hopes to balk.] - -[Illustration: - - M Is for MacVeagh or Meyer, men of means; - One represents pork and the other baked beans.] - -[Illustration: - - N Is for Nagel, from St. Louis town, - A Cabineteer who aspires to a gown.] - -[Illustration: - - O Is for Owen, Sir Robert, the bold, - Whose “Isms” made Bailey’s extremities cold.] - -[Illustration: - - P Is for Pinchot, a chip off the block; - He’s equally good at the boost or the knock.] - -[Illustration: - - Q Is for Quillen, alias John Tilson. - Pabst? Schlitz? Anheuser? We have it! Pilsen.] - -[Illustration: - - R Is for Root, not the root of all evil, - To whom the term uplift does not mean upheaval.] - -[Illustration: - - S Is for Sherman, or Stimson. Help! Help! - Which one will Taft take unto himself?] - -[Illustration: - - T Is for Taft, or Tariff so high - “Which must be revised” (in the sweet bye and bye).] - -[Illustration: - - U Is for Underwood, of stately mien. Oh! - His tariff speeches give a pain to Sereno.] - -[Illustration: - - V Is from Vreeland. Standpatter? You bet! - On tariff and bobtails he’s standing still yet.] - -[Illustration: - - W Is for Wickersham, Wiley and Wilson, - An adulteration Taft can’t keep still, son.] - -[Illustration: - - “X” Is for those who from public life sever; - They come and go, We go on forever.] - -[Illustration: - - Y Is for “Yes,” the blushing maid’s answer; - Candidates always say “Yes” if they can, sir.] - -[Illustration: - - Z Is for Zoo, a part of the show; - The big show now here is Congress, you know.] - - -[Illustration: - - As Bill Heyburn and Bill Borah - Were walking out one Sunday, - Says Bill Heyburn to Bill Borah, - “Tomorrow will be Monday.”] - - -[Illustration: - - Little Charlie Hilles, first aide to Will, is - Eating some White House pie; - If he puts in his thumb and pulls out this plum, - There is nobody here who will cry.] - - -[Illustration: - - 1. This little pig went to the market. - 2. This little pig stayed at home. - 3. This little pig had roast beef. - 4. This little pig got none. - 5. This little pig cried wee, wee, all the way home.] - - -[Illustration: - - “Robert, come give me your fiddle, - If ever you mean to thrive.” - “Nay, I’ll not give my fiddle - To any man alive. - - If I should give my fiddle, - They’ll think that I’ve gone mad, - For many a joyful day - My fiddle and I have had.”] - - -[Illustration: - - There was a busy man who lived on a hill, - He lives there yet, but not always still. - On Tennessee Iron he says he was “wise,” - And he’s the ONE man who never tells lies.] - - -[Illustration: - - Billy Lorimer picked a peck - Of Hines’ splinters; - A peck of Hines’ splinters - Billy Lorimer picked. - If Billy Lorimer picked a peck - Of Hines’ splinters, - Where’s the peck of Hines’ splinters - Uncle Isaac picked?] - - -[Illustration: OLD MOTHER HUBBARD - -(Or the Horrible Tale of Mrs. Ultimately Consumed) - - Old Mother Hubbard - Went to the cupboard - To get her poor children a bone; - But when she came there - The cupboard was bare, - It was plain the shelves held none.] - -[Illustration: - - She went to the baker’s - To buy them some bread, - But wheat had gone up, - Reciprocity was dead. - - She went to the joiner’s - A coffin to buy, - But she found that cremation - Was not half so high.] - -[Illustration: - - She took a clean dish - To buy them some trout, - But the price was so “fishy” - She came away without. - - She went to the ale-house - To buy them some beer, - But the cost of the drink - Took away all the cheer.] - -[Illustration: - - She went to the tavern - For white wine and red, - But when she had priced it, - She took water, instead. - - She went to the hatter’s - To buy them a hat, - But the things that were swell - Made her pocket-book flat.] - -[Illustration: - - She went to the barber’s - With wigs to display, - She found nothing there - But a high price “toupee.” - - She went to the fruiterer’s - To buy them some fruit, - But the figures had taken - The aerial route.] - -[Illustration: - - She went to the tailor’s - To buy them a coat, - The tailor convinced her - That she was the “goat.” - - She went to the cobbler’s - To buy them some shoes, - It was plain she must give - To the tariff its dues. - - She went to the sempstress - To buy them some linen, - The cost plainly showed her - She was in for a skinnin’. - - She went to the hosier’s - To buy them some hose, - He took what was left, - Increasing her woes. - - The Dame made a curtsey, - The Trusts made a bow; - The Dame said, “Your servant.” - The Trusts said “Kow-tow.”] - -[Illustration: - - Then Old Mother Hubbard - Went back to the cupboard - Where she had sought for a bone; - And she said, “I declare, - It will have to stay bare,” - So the poor little children got none.] - - -[Illustration: - - Little Simon met a Sly Man - Going to Alaska; - Says Little Simon to the Sly Man, - “What is there, I ask you?” - - Says the Sly Man to Little Simon, - “There’s copper there in plenty.” - Says Little Simon to the Sly Man, - “Of coppers I have many.” - - Little Simon had six brothers - Who saw what there was in it; - They sent the Sly Man to Alaska— - Little Simon to the Senate.] - - -[Illustration: - - Little G. P. - Went to sea, - In an open boat; - The little boat bended— - My story’s ended.] - - -[Illustration: - - There was a fat man from St. Lou-ay, - Sat trust-busting one sunshiny day; - For the press he had naught, - Though steel was his thought, - Which vex’d the fat man from St. Lou-ay.] - - -[Illustration: - - A dillar, a dollar - A 12 o’clock scholar, - We like the Senate’s gall; - It’s coming now at 2 o’clock— - Why does it come at all?] - - -[Illustration: - - Jimmie Lloyd, a Congressman, - Came back to Washington - On Democratic victory feeling vain; - He stepped in a patronage muddle, - Like a Missouri toll-road puddle, - And he swears he’ll ne’er do that again.] - - -[Illustration: - - Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any pull? - The Tariff Board is after the rates on Wool: - Yes, we have stand-patters and the A. P. T. L., - While presidential vetoes are doing very well.] - - -[Illustration: - - Cabot and Murray each separately delve - On their own little jobs ’till the clock strikes 12; - Then up starts Cabot and looks far away, - “Oh, brother Murray, we are both from Back Bay!” - “Yes,” says Murray, choking, by stealth, - “Until Adjournment—then each for himself.”] - - -[Illustration: - - Old King Joe was a merry old soul, - And a merry old soul was he; - He called for his smoke, - And his highball, too, - And he called for his cronies three. - And every crony had a very good hand, - And a very fine hand had he; - “Tweedle dee, tweedle dee,” said Old King Joe, - “Oh, there’s none so rare as can compare - With a stand-pat hand. Give me three.”] - - -[Illustration: - - There was a man from New York Town, - And he was wondrous wise; - He raked in sheckles by the pound - From trusts, and closed his eyes. - - But he came down to Washington - And with all his might and main, - He jumped into so many trusts, - He gave them all a pain.] - - -[Illustration: - - Ten little candidates in presidential line— - One got bashful, and then there were nine.] - -[Illustration: - - Nine little candidates tried to frame a slate— - One backed out, and then there were eight.] - -[Illustration: - - Eight little candidates for political heaven— - One hit a primary, and then there were seven.] - -[Illustration: - - Seven little candidates went to fixing sticks— - One got hurt, and then there were six.] - -[Illustration: - - Six little candidates monkeyed with a hive— - One got stung, and then there were five.] - -[Illustration: - - Five little candidates tried to take the floor— - One got stepped on, and then there were four.] - -[Illustration: - - Four little candidates tried to climb a tree— - One fell out, and then there were three.] - -[Illustration: - - Three little candidates out in a canoe— - One fell overboard, and then there were two.] - -[Illustration: - - Two little candidates fooling with a gun— - One got shot, and then there was one.] - -[Illustration: - - One little candidate standing all alone— - He got left, and the dark horse won.] - - -[Illustration: - - Jim and Henry went up the hill - To fetch a pail of votes, sir; - Jim fell down and broke his crown, - And Henry was in the same boat, sir. - - Up both got and home did trot, - With sundry funny capers; - Bill Barnes had the job to plaster their knobs, - And keep it out of the papers.] - - -[Illustration: - - Frankie Hitchcock went to sea, - Heeding not my tearful plea; - He’ll come back and marry me, - Pretty Frankie Hitchcock. - - Frankie Hitchcock’s lean and fair, - Combing down his yellow hair; - Now he’s gone up in the air; - Pretty Frankie Hitchcock.] - - -[Illustration: - - Albert C. and Robert L. - Resolved to have a battle, - For Albert C. said Robert L. - Had spoiled his nice new rattle. - Just then came by a monstrous man, - As big as a tar-barrel, - Which frightened both the heroes so, - They quite forgot their quarrel.] - - -[Illustration: THE TARIFF’S LITTLE LAMB. - -(A Melodrama in Eight Stanzas.) - - The tariff had a little lamb, - Its fleece was snowy white, - It followed him around all day, - And slept by him at night.] - -[Illustration: - - Once this little lamb was small, - But now it is not so, - For the tariff fed his little pet - Until it had to grow.] - -[Illustration: - - To Congress it was brought one day; - They tried to put it out, - But they found the lamb was now a ram, - Which had grown very stout.] - -[Illustration: - - The President was a little man; - His face was bright, but red; - And he had little hair upon - His bald and shiny head.] - -[Illustration: - - And when he could not catch the lamb, - He called upon the “regulars,” - While “insurgents” chased it ’round the room, - And made a dreadful noise.] - -[Illustration: - - And still it ran about the room, - And did not seem to tire, - Until the Democrats jumped in, - And set the place on fire.] - -[Illustration: - - The bells then rang, the firemen came, - But could not quench the fire; - The poor lamb fled and hastened to - The White House to expire.] - -[Illustration: - - When the tariff missed his little lamb, - He raised a dreadful wail; - Just then Mister Taft pulled it out, - And saved it by the tail.] - - -[Illustration: - - Ride a cock-horse to Manassas, of course, - To see the great major when not on a horse; - With braid on his shoulders and mud on his toes— - These were only a few of his woes.] - - -[Illustration: - - Moses Clapp killed a calf, - Coe I. Crawford got the half; - Bob La Follette got the head— - Ring the bell, the calf is dead!] - - -[Illustration: - - Jack Bourne passed the hat, - And found the income lean; - Walt Houser had been before, you see, - And licked the platter clean.] - - -[Illustration: - - We’ll sing you a chorus, - About George W. Norris, - And now my story’s begun. - We’ll sing you another - About Norris Brown (not his Brother), - And now my story’s done.] - - -[Illustration: - - Walter be nimble, - Walter be quick, - And settle Alaska - With a big stick.] - - -[Illustration: - - Bye, Billy, bunting, - Daddy’s gone a-hunting, - To get a little thicker skin, - To wrap his Billy bunting in.] - - -[Illustration: TO CONGRESS - - Men of words and not of deeds - Are not just what this Congress needs; - Although ’t has been a most popular place - To talk one’s self black in the face.] - - - - -COMMITTEE ON MENU AND SOUVENIR - -[Illustration] - - - LEROY T. VERNON, Chairman - DAVID S. BARRY - C. K. BERRYMAN - FRANK G. CARPENTER - H. CONQUEST CLARKE - J. HARRY CUNNINGHAM - P. V. DEGRAW - JAMES P. HORNADAY - F. A. RICHARDSON - REGINALD SCHROEDER - CHARLES W. THOMPSON - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MOTHER GOOSE IN GRIDIRON -RHYME *** - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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