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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #69038 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/69038)
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-The Project Gutenberg eBook of Lot & company, by Will Levington
-Comfort
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you
-will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before
-using this eBook.
-
-Title: Lot & company
-
-Author: Will Levington Comfort
-
-Release Date: September 24, 2022 [eBook #69038]
-
-Language: English
-
-Produced by: D A Alexander and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team
- at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images
- generously made available by University of California
- libraries)
-
-*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOT & COMPANY ***
-
-
-
-
-
-LOT & COMPANY
-
-
-
-
-BY WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT
-
-
- LOT & COMPANY
- RED FLEECE
- MIDSTREAM
- DOWN AMONG MEN
- FATHERLAND
-
-
- GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
- NEW YORK
-
-
-
-
- _Lot & Company_
-
- BY
- WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT
-
- AUTHOR OF “RED FLEECE,” “MIDSTREAM,” “DOWN AMONG
- MEN,” “ROUTLEDGE RIDES ALONE,”
- ETC., ETC.
-
- NEW YORK
- GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
-
-
-
-
- Copyright, 1915,
- BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
-
-
-
-
- TO
- JANE
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
- PART ONE
-
- PAGE
- THE JADE: I 11
-
-
- PART TWO
- LOT & COMPANY: I 21
-
-
- PART THREE
- THE JADE: II 67
-
-
- PART FOUR
- THE OPEN BOAT 107
-
-
- PART FIVE
- THE STONE HOUSE: I 197
-
-
- PART SIX
- LOT & COMPANY: II 241
-
-
- PART SEVEN
- THE STONE HOUSE: II 321
-
-
-
-
-PART ONE
-
-THE JADE: I
-
-
- 1
-
-ALL would have happened differently for Bellair had he been drowsy
-as usual on this particular Sunday afternoon. The boarding-house
-was preparing for its nap; indeed already half enveloped, but there
-came to Bellair’s nostrils a smell of carpets that brought back his
-first passage up stairs five years before. The halls were filled with
-greys--dull tones that drove him forth at last. It was November, and
-the day didn’t know what to do next. Gusts of seasonable wind, wisps
-of sunshine, threats of rain, and everywhere Bellair’s old enemy--the
-terrifying Sabbath calm, without which the naked granite soul of New
-York would remain decently hid. Sundays had tortured him from the
-beginning. It was not so bad when the garment was on--the weave of
-millions.
-
-He walked east with an umbrella, thinking more than observing, crossed
-to Brooklyn and followed the water-front as closely as the complication
-of ferries, pier-systems and general shipping would permit. Finally he
-came to a wooden arch, marked Hatmos & Company, the gate of which was
-open. Entering, he heard the water slapping the piles beneath, his eyes
-held in fascination to an activity ahead. In the wonder of a dream,
-he realised that this was a sailing-ship putting forth. On her black
-stern, he read
-
- _Jade of Adelaide_
-
-printed in blue of worn pigment.
-
-A barkentine, her clipper-built hull of steel, her lines satisfying
-like the return of a friend after years. Along the water-line shone
-the bright edge of her copper sheathing; then a soft black line smooth
-as modelled clay where she muscled out for sea-worth, and covered her
-displacement in the daring beauty of contour. Still above was the
-shining brass of her row of ports on a ground of weathered grey, and
-the dull red of her rail. Over all, and that which quickened the ardour
-of Bellair’s soul, was the mystery of her wire rigging and folded
-cloths against the smoky horizon, exquisite as the frame of a butterfly
-to his fancy.
-
-His emotion is not to be explained; nor another high moment of his life
-which had to do with a flashing merchantman seen from the water-front
-at San Francisco--square-rigged throughout, a cloud of sail-cloth,
-her royals yet to be lifted, as she got underweigh. He knew that
-considerable canvas was still spread between California, Australia and
-the Islands, but what a well-kept if ancient maiden of the _Jade’s_
-species was doing here in New York harbour, A. D. Nineteen hundred and
-odd, was not disclosed to Bellair until afterward, and not clearly then.
-
-He knew her for a barkentine, and in the intensely personal appeal
-of the moment he was a bit sorry for the blend. To his eyes the
-schooner-rig of mizzen and main masts was not to be compared for
-beauty to the trisected fore. Still he reflected that square-rigged
-throughout, she would be crowded with crew to care for her, and that
-her concession to trade was at least not outright. Schooner, bark and
-brig--he seemed to know them first hand, not only from pictures and
-pages of print, though there had been many long evenings of half-dream
-with books before him--books that always pushed back impatiently
-through the years of upstart Steam into Nature’s own navigation,
-where Romance has put on her brave true form in the long perspective.
-Ships that really _sailed_ were one of Bellair’s passions, like
-orchards and vined stone-work--all far from him apparently and out
-of the question--loved the more because of it.... He watched with
-rapt eyes now, estimated the _Jade’s_ length at one-seventy-five
-and was debating her tonnage when a huge ox of a man appeared from
-the cabin (while the _Jade_ slid farther out), waddled aft as if
-bare-footed, spoke to an officer there, and then held up two brown
-hairy, thick-fingered hands, palms extended to the pier--as if to push
-Brooklyn from him forever.... The officer’s voice just reached shore,
-but not his words. A Japanese woman appeared on the receding deck.
-
-“_Jade of Adelaide_,” muttered Bellair, moments afterward.
-
-A tug was towing her straight toward Staten. He thought of her
-lying off the glistening white beach of a coral island two months
-hence, surrounded by native craft, all hands helping the big man get
-ashore.... At this moment a young man emerged from the harbour-front
-door of the Hatmos office, locking it after him. Bellair came up from
-his dream. Such realities of the city man are mainly secret. It was the
-worn surface that Bellair presented to the stranger, a sophisticated
-and imperturbable surface, and one employed so often that its novelty
-was gone.
-
-“Where’s she going?” he asked.
-
-“Who?”
-
-Bellair smiled at the facetiousness.
-
-“The _Jade_,” he said gently.
-
-“Just as far from here as she can get.”
-
-“Round the world?”
-
-“I doubt if she’ll come back.”
-
-“You don’t see many of them any more----”
-
-“No,” replied the other agreeably enough, “this old dame and two or
-three sisters are about all that call here. Hatmos & Co. get ’em all.”
-
-“Will you have a little drink?” Bellair inquired. “That is, if you know
-a place around here. I’m from across.”
-
-The other was not unwilling. They walked up the pier together. A place
-was found.
-
-“Does the _Jade_ belong to the Hatmos people?” Bellair asked.
-
-“No. We’re agents for Stackhouse. By the way, he’s aboard the
-_Jade_--just left the office a half hour ago. The Hatmos son and heir
-went home in a cab, like his father used to, when Stackhouse blew in
-from the South Seas----”
-
-“The big man who stood aft as the ship cleared?” Bellair suggested.
-
-“Hairy neck--clothes look like pajamas?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“That must have been Stackhouse. He’s the biggest man in
-Peloponasia----”
-
-Bellair wondered if he meant Polynesia. “You mean in size?”
-
-“Possibly that, but I meant--interests. Owns whole islands and
-steam-fleets, but hates steam. Does his pleasure riding under canvas.
-Comes up to New York every third year with a new Japanese wife. Used to
-spend his time drinking with old Hatmos--now he’s trying to kill off
-the younger generation. Lives at the _Florimel_ while in New York, and
-teaches the dago barboys how to make tropical drinks. If he had stayed
-longer, he would have got to me. Young Hatmos is about finished.”
-
-Bellair breathed deeply, strangely alive. “Where does the _Jade_ call
-first after leaving here?”
-
-“Savannah--then one or two South American ports--then around the Horn
-and the long up-beat to the Islands.”
-
-“Why, that might mean four months.” Bellair spoke with a touch of
-wistfulness.
-
-They emerged to the street at length, and the New Yorker started shyly
-back to the pier. The Hatmos man laughed.
-
-“You fall for the sailing-stuff, don’t you?”
-
-“Yes, it’s got me. Do they take passengers?”
-
-“Sure, if you’re in no hurry. Here and there, some one like you--just
-for the voyage. Two or three on board from here.... One a preacher.
-He’d better look out. Stackhouse hates to drink alone.”
-
-“Thanks. Good-bye.”
-
-The _Jade_, far and very little among the liners, had turned south to
-the Narrows and was spreading her wings.... The world began to shut
-Bellair in, as he crossed the river again. Sunday night supper at the
-boarding-house was always a dismal affair; by every manner and means
-it was so to-night. The chorus woman of the Hippodrome was bolting
-ahead of the bell, to hurry away to rehearsal. Nightly she came up out
-of the water.... He tried three sea-books that night--“Lady Letty,”
-“Lord Jim” and “The Phantom,” but couldn’t get caught in their old
-spell. A new and personal dimension was upon him from the afternoon.
-He fell to dreaming again and again of the _Jade_--the last misty
-glimpse of her at the Narrows, and the huge brown hands pushing
-Brooklyn away.... There is pathos in the city man’s love and need for
-fresh air. Bellair pulled his bed to the window at last, surveying the
-room without regard. Long afterward he dreamed that he was out on the
-heaving floor of the sea, and that a man-monster came down from the
-deck in pajamas, and pressing his hands against the walls of the cabin,
-made respiration next to impossible for the inmate. There was a key to
-this suffocation, for the air in his room was still as a pool. A lull
-had fallen upon the city before a gusty storm of wind and rain.
-
-
-
-
-PART TWO
-
-LOT & COMPANY: I
-
-
- 1
-
-BELLAIR regarded himself as an average man; and after all perhaps this
-was the most significant thing about him. He was not average to look
-at--the face of a student and profoundly kind--and yet, he had moved in
-binding routine for five years that they knew of at Lot & Company’s.
-His acquaintances were of the average type. He did not criticise them;
-you would not have known that he saw them with something of the same
-sorrow that he regarded himself.
-
-Back of this five years was an Unknowable. Had you possessed exactly
-the perception you might have caught a glimpse of some extraordinary
-culture that comes from life in the older lands, and personal contacts
-with deeper evils--the culture of the great drifters, the inimitable
-polish of rolling stones. As a usual thing he would not have shown
-you any of this. At Lot & Company’s offices, men had moved and talked
-and lunched near and with him for years without uncovering a gleam of
-a certain superb equipment for life which really existed in a darkened
-room of his being.
-
-Perhaps he was still in preparation. We have not really completed the
-circle of any accomplishment until we have put it in action. Certainly
-Bellair had not done that, since the Unknowable ended. He had made no
-great friends among men or women; though almost thirty, he had met no
-stirring love affair, at least in this period. He had done the most
-common duties of trade, for a common reward in cash; lived in a common
-house--moved in crowds of common men and affairs. It was as if he were
-a spy, trained from a child, but commanded at the very beginning of his
-manhood, not only to toil and serve in an insignificant post--but to
-be insignificant as well. It was by accident, for instance, that they
-discovered at Lot & Company’s that Bellair was schooled in the Sanscrit.
-
-Before usual he was astir that Monday morning, but late at the office
-for all that. A drop of consciousness somewhere between shoe-buttons,
-and a similar trance between collar and tie. In these lapses a half
-hour was lost, and queerly enough afterward the old purports of his
-life did not hold together as before. A new breath from somewhere, a
-difference in vitality, and the hum-drum, worn-sore consciousness given
-to his work with Lot & Company, had become like an obscene relative,
-to be rid of, even at the price of dollars and the established order
-of things. It had been very clear as he drank his coffee that he must
-give quit-notice at the office, yet when he reached there, this was not
-so easy, and he was presently at work as usual in his cage with Mr.
-Sproxley, the cashier.
-
-The Quaker firm of Lot & Company was essentially a printing
-establishment. During the first half of the period in which Bellair
-had been connected, though he was not stupider than usual, he had not
-realised the crooked weave of the entire inner fabric of the house.
-Lot & Company had been established for seventy-five years and through
-three generations. Its conduct was ordered now like a process of
-nature, a systematised tone to each surface manner and expression. All
-the departments were strained and deformed to meet and adjust in the
-larger current of profit which the cashier had somehow bridged without
-scandal for twenty-seven years. Personally, so far as Bellair knew,
-Mr. Sproxley was an honest man, though not exactly of the manner, and
-underpaid.
-
-The cashier’s eyes were black, a black that would burn you, and
-unquestionably furtive, although Bellair sat for two years at a little
-distance from the cashier’s desk before he accepted the furtiveness,
-so deeply laid and set and hardened were his first impressions. They
-were hard eyes as well, like that anthracite which retains its gleaming
-black edge, though the side to the draft is red to the core.
-
-Mr. Sproxley’s home was in Brooklyn, an hour’s ride from the office--a
-little flat in a street of little flats, all with the same porches,
-brickwork and rusty numerals. An apartment for two, and yet Mr. and
-Mrs. Sproxley had not moved, though five black-eyed children had come
-to them. The cashier of Lot & Company was a stationary man--that was
-his first asset.... A hundred times Bellair had heard the old formula,
-delivered by firm members to some caller at the office:
-
-“This is our cashier, Mr. Sproxley. He has been with us twenty-seven
-years. We have found him the soul of honour”--the last trailing off
-into a whisper--a hundred times in almost the same words, for the
-Lots and the Wetherbees bred true. The visitor would be drawn off and
-confidently informed that Mr. Sproxley would die rather than leave
-a penny unaccounted; indeed, that his zeal on the small as well as
-large affairs was frequently a disturbance to the office generally,
-since everything stopped until the balance swung free. Bellair knew of
-this confidential supplement to the main form, because he had taken
-it into his own pores on an early day of his employment. The lift of
-that first talk (in Bellair’s case it was from the elder Wetherbee,
-an occasional Thee and Thou escaping with unworldly felicity) was for
-Bellair sometime to attain a similar rock-bound austerity of honour....
-Always the stranger glanced a second time at Mr. Sproxley during the
-firm-member’s low-voiced affirmation of his passionate integrity.
-
-Passing to the second floor, the visitor would meet Mr. Hardburg, head
-of the manuscript and periodical department, for Lot & Company had
-found a good business in publishing books of story and poetry at the
-author’s expense. Here eye and judgment reigned, Mr. Hardburg’s, on all
-matters of book-dress and criticism; yet within six or seven minutes,
-the formula would break through for the attention of the caller, thus:
-
-“Lot & Company is a conservative House--that’s why it stands--a House,
-sir (one felt the Capital), that has stood for seventy-five years on
-a basis of honour and fair dealing, if on a conservative basis. Lot &
-Company stands by its agents and employés first and last. Lot & Company
-does not plunge, but over any given period of time, its progress is
-apparent and its policy significantly successful.”
-
-Mr. Hardburg’s eyes kindled as he spoke--grey tired eyes, not at all
-like Mr. Sproxley’s--but the light waned, and Mr. Hardburg quickly
-relapsed into ennui and complaint, for he was a living sick man.
-The impression one drew from his earlier years, was that he had
-overstrained as an athlete, and been a bit loose and undone ever
-since.... Now Mr. Hardburg would be called away for a moment, leaving
-the stranger in the office with Miss Rinderley, his assistant. With
-fluent and well directed sentences, this lady would outline the
-triumphs of Mr. Hardburg from college to the mastery of criticism which
-he was now granted professionally.
-
-“But what we love best about him,” Miss Rinderley would say, glancing
-at the enlarged photograph above his desk, “is the tireless way he
-helps young men. Always he is at that. I have seen him talk here for
-an hour--when the most pressing matters of criticism and editorial
-responsibility called--literally giving himself to some one needing
-help. Very likely he would miss his train for the country. Poor Mr.
-Hardburg, he needs his rest so----”
-
-The caller would cry in his heart, “What a superb old institution
-this is!” and cover his own weaknesses and shortcomings in a further
-sheath of mannerism and appreciation--the entire atmosphere strangely
-prevailing to help one to stifle rather than to ventilate his real
-points of view.
-
-So the establishment moved. The groups of girls going up and down the
-back stairs--to count or tie or paste through all their interesting
-days--counted the heads of their respective departments as their
-greatest men; spoke of them in awed whispers, in certain cases with
-maternal affection, and on occasion even with playful intimacy on the
-part of a few--but always as a master-workman, the best man in the
-business, who expressed the poorest part of himself in words, and had
-to be lived with for years adequately to be appreciated and understood.
-
-Mr. Nathan Lot, the present head of the firm, was a dreamer. It was Mr.
-Sproxley who had first told Bellair this, but he heard it frequently
-afterward, came to recognise it as the accepted initial saying as
-regarded the Head, just as his impeccable honour was Mr. Sproxley’s
-and unerring critical instinct Mr. Hardburg’s titular association.
-Mr. Nathan was the least quarrelsome man anywhere, the quietest and
-the gentlest--a small bloodless man of fifty, aloof from business;
-a man who had worn and tested himself so little that you would
-imagine him destined to live as long again, except for the lugubrious
-atmospheres around his desk, in the morning especially, the sense of
-imperfect ventilation, though the partitions were but half-high to
-the lower floor and there was a thousand feet to draw from. The same
-was beginning in Jabez, the son, something pent, non-assimilation
-somewhere. However Jabez wasn’t a dreamer; at least, dreaming had
-not become his identifying proclivity. He was a head taller than
-his father with a wide limp mouth and small expressionless brown
-eyes--twenty-seven, and almost as many times a millionaire.
-
-Jabez was richer than his father, who was the direct heir of the House
-of Lot, but his father’s dreaming had complicated the flow of another
-huge fortune in the familiar domestic fashion--Jabez being the symbol
-and centre of the combination; also the future head of the House of Lot
-and Company--up and down town.
-
-Bellair wondered a long time what the pervading dream of the father
-was. He had been in the office many months, had never heard the
-senior-mind give vent to authoritative saying in finance, literature,
-science or prints; and while this did not lower his estimate at all--he
-was sincerely eager to get at the sleeping force of this giant. Mr.
-Sproxley spoke long on the subject, but did not know. Mr. Hardburg said:
-
-“I have been associated with Mr. Nathan for eleven years now. The
-appeal of his worth is not eager and insinuating, but I have this to
-say--that in eleven years I have found myself slipping, slipping into
-a mysterious, _a different_ regard, a profounder friendliness--if one
-might put it that way--for Mr. Nathan, than any I have known in my
-whole career. The fact is I love Mr. Nathan. He is one of the sweetest
-spirits I ever knew.”
-
-Bellair was interested in dreamers; had a theory that dreaming was
-important. When he heard that a certain child was inclined to
-dreaming, he was apt to promise a significant future off-hand. He
-reflected that even Mr. Hardburg had forgotten to tell him of the
-tendency in Mr. Nathan’s case, but determined not to give up.... Once
-in the lower part of the city, he passed the firm-head--a studious
-little man making his way along at the edge of the walk. Bellair spoke
-before he thought. Mr. Nathan started up in a dazed way, appeared to
-recognise him with difficulty, as if there was something in the face
-that the hat made different. He cleared his voice and inquired with
-embarrassment:
-
-“Are you going to the store?”
-
-After Bellair had ceased to regret speaking, he reflected upon the word
-“store.” The president of a great manufacturing plant, content to be
-known as a tradesman--an excellent, a Quaker simplicity about that.
-
-Bellair’s particular friend in the establishment was Broadwell of the
-advertising-desk, a young man of his own age who was improving himself
-evenings and who aspired to be a publisher. But even closer to his
-heart was Davy Acton, one of the office-boys, who had been tested out
-and was not a liar. A sincere sad-faced lad of fifteen, who lived with
-his mother somewhere away down town. He looked up to Bellair as to a
-man among men, one who had achieved. This was hard to bear on the man’s
-part, but he was fond of the youngster and often had him over Sundays,
-furnishing books of his own and recommending others. Davy believed in
-him. This was the sensation.
-
-The only voices that were ever raised in the establishment were those
-of the travelling salesmen. The chief of this department, Mr. Rawter,
-was loud-voiced in his joviality. That was _his_ word--“Mr. Rawter is
-so jovial.”
-
-When the roaring joviality of Mr. Rawter boomed through the lower
-floor, old Mr. Wetherbee, the vice-president, would look up from his
-desk, and remark quietly to any one who happened near, “Mr. Rawter is
-forced to meet the trade, you know.” It was doubtless his gentle Quaker
-conception that wine-lists, back-slapping and whole-souled abandonment
-of to-morrow, were essentials of the road and trade affiliation.
-From the rear of the main floor, back among the piles of stock,
-reverberating among great square monuments of ledgers and pamphlets
-were the jovial voices of the other salesmen, Mr. Rawter’s seconds, the
-Middle-west man, and the Coast-and-South man--voices slightly muffled,
-as became their station, but regular in joviality, and doubtless as
-boom-compelling afield as their chief’s, considering their years.
-
-Otherwise the elder Mr. Wetherbee--Mr. Seth--presided over a
-distinguished silence for the main. His desk was open to the floor
-at large. He was seventy, and one of the first to arrive in the
-morning--a vice-president who opened the mail, and had in expert
-scrutiny such matters as employment, salaries, orders and expenses
-of the travelling men on the road. Mr. Seth was not a dreamer; at
-least not on week-days--a millionaire, who gave you the impression
-that he was constantly on his guard lest his heart-quality should
-suddenly ruin all. The love, the very ardour of his soul was to _give_
-away--to dissipate the fortunes of his own and the firm-members, but so
-successfully had he fought all his life on the basis of considering the
-justice to his family and his firm, that Lot & Company now relied upon
-him, undoubting. Thus often a man born with weakness develops it into
-his particular strength....
-
-The son, Eben Wetherbee, was harder for Bellair to designate. He seemed
-a different force, and called forth secret regard. A religious young
-man, who always occurred to Bellair’s mind as he had once seen him,
-crossing the Square a summer evening, a book under his arm, his short
-steps lifted and queerly rounded, as if treading a low-geared sprocket;
-toes straight out--the whole gait mincing a little. Eben was smileless
-and a great worker. He had no more to do or say with his father during
-working hours than any of the others.
-
-Such was the firm: Mr. Nathan Lot and his son Jabez; Mr. Seth
-Wetherbee and his son Eben, and Mr. Rawter who had been given a nominal
-quantity of stock after thirty-five years’ service. In due course Mr.
-Sproxley would qualify for this illumination.... And yet not all.
-Staring down from the arch over the president’s door was a dour, white,
-big-chinned face, done in oils long ago--almost yellow-white, the
-black shoulder deadening away into the background; small eyes, wide
-mouth, but firmly hung--grandfather to Mr. Nathan, but no dreamer;
-great grand-sire to Mr. Jabez, but nothing loose-mouthed about the
-face of this, the original Jabez Lot,--organising genius of the House,
-and its first president, spoken of with awe and reverence; the first
-millionaire of the family and builder of its Gramercy mansion....
-Suddenly, it had come to Bellair that this was the spirit of the Store,
-this picture was its symbol, that the slow strangulation of the souls
-of all concerned had begun in that white head, the planting of this bed
-of crooked canes.
-
-
- 2
-
-One morning when Bellair was well into his third year with the
-printing-firm, the silence was broken on the lower floor. He was
-shaken that day into the real secret of the house. A certain Mr.
-Prentidd had been in conversation with Mr. Rawter some moments. The
-jovial voice of the head-salesman was without significance to those
-near his partition--a part of the routine. Mr. Prentidd had invented
-a combination ledger and voucher-file that was having some sale in
-America, being manufactured and distributed by Lot & Company. Mr.
-Rawter on a recent trip abroad had been empowered to dispose of the
-English rights. The result, it now appeared, did not prove satisfactory
-to the inventor. The voice of the latter was raised. One felt the
-entire building subside into a quivering hush.
-
-“I tell you, sir, I don’t trust you. I have heard in fact that the only
-way you could hurt your reputation here in New York or on the road
-would be to tell the truth.”
-
-To Bellair there was something deeply satisfying in that remark of
-the inventor’s--something long awaited and very good. He saw Mr. Seth
-arise, his chin moving in a sickly fashion, a very old pathetic Mr.
-Seth. He realised that Mr. Rawter had laughed--that something had
-been burned from that laugh. Mr. Prentidd was hurried forth, and the
-nullifying system began. Mr. Jabez emerged from his father’s office
-and turning to Broadwell at the advertising-desk, said in a tone
-universally penetrative:
-
-“What a pity that Mr. Prentidd drinks. There are few men finer to deal
-with when he is himself.”
-
-Mr. Seth, in his chair again, sitting frog-like and gasping, remarked
-to Mr. Sproxley across the distance: “I really must ask Mr. Prentidd to
-come to us earlier in the day. He’s far too worthy a man to disgrace
-himself in this way.”
-
-Bellair wondered that the point of Mr. Prentidd’s remark seemed
-entirely lost. As for himself he counted it worthy of regard. The
-episode was but begun. The inventor returned immediately, just as
-Mr. Rawter was stepping out. The two men met in the main corridor.
-It appeared that Mr. Prentidd repeated a certain question, for the
-head-salesman replied, the roundness of the joviality gone from his
-voice:
-
-“I tell you, Mr. Prentidd, the situation has changed. I could not
-dispose of the English order at a better figure to save my soul. I
-extracted every cent for you and for the House.”
-
-“I don’t believe you. Other matters of the same kind do better. If you
-speak the truth, you made a very bad bargain for yourself and what is
-more important, for me----”
-
-The least like an inventor imaginable, a most physical person, Mr.
-Prentidd, with a fiery sense of his own rights and a manner as soft as
-his voice was penetrating. He turned a leisurely look of scorn at Mr.
-Rawter, half-stare and half-smile, then appeared to perceive the elder
-Mr. Wetherbee for the first time. The old man arose. Bellair felt the
-agony of expectancy far back among the stock-piles. The inventor shot
-straight at the vice-president:
-
-“You’re an old man. I’ll trust your word. You’re an old man and a
-Quaker--yes, I’ll take your word. Your man, Rawter, says he could get
-only seven and one-half cents’ royalty for me on my Nubian file from
-England. I say it’s only half what I should get. Is it true--remember
-you’re old. Is it true?”
-
-Prentidd’s face had power in it, exasperation and the remains of a
-laugh. It appeared that he was content to take a gambler’s chance and
-close the ugly business on Mr. Seth’s word.
-
-The old man’s eye roved. He looked sick and shaken. He found the eyes
-of his son Eben which were full of terror and pity and hope.
-
-“Answer me. Could Lot & Company get no more than fifteen cents
-altogether on the English patents?”
-
-Mr. Wetherbee’s lips moved. “That’s all we could get, Mr. Prentidd. I’m
-sorry,” he said.
-
-For an instant Mr. Prentidd stood there. It was evident that he had
-expected a different answer. True to his promise to take the old man’s
-word, however, he turned on his heel and walked out.
-
-On the high sloping desk before Bellair’s eyes, a big ledger lay open.
-He had turned during the talk to the transaction of Prentidd--Lot &
-Company. The English disposal had been arranged for at twenty-five
-cents the file, royalty. Apparently Mr. Prentidd had agreed upon an
-even split, but Lot & Company had taken seventeen and the fraction.
-
-Bellair was ill. The nausea crept down through his limbs, and up to
-his throat. The thing had worked out before him with such surety and
-clarity. The head of Mr. Sproxley moved about as if on a swivel, his
-body in writing position still. Presently he stepped down from his high
-stool, and came to Bellair’s side. Placing his pen behind his ear, he
-lifted the ledger from under Bellair’s eyes, his lips compressed with
-the effort. Then he placed it on his own desk to close it tenderly,
-after which it was taken to its niche in the vault.
-
-The office was silent. Just now Bellair’s eyes turned as if subtly
-attracted to the place where Eben Wetherbee sat. The young man’s
-smileless eyes, almost insane with apprehension and sadness, were
-turned with extraordinary intent upon the place where his father sat.
-Bellair’s followed. The old man sat plumped in his chair; he gulped,
-tried to turn. His face looked as if he heard a ghost whispering. Yet
-he seemed unable to trust himself, hardly daring to meet the eyes that
-awaited. His hands lifted to the papers before him, but did not feel
-properly. He seemed a man of eighty. Mr. Eben came forward at last and
-asked Mr. Sproxley if he might look at the Prentidd transaction.
-
-“It isn’t posted yet, Mr. Eben,” said the cashier.
-
- * * * * *
-
-At the side door at closing time, Bellair happened to pass a party of
-young women coming down from the bindery. One was saying:
-
-“... and Mr. Prentidd was quite helpless after the scene--so that they
-had to call a taxi-cab for him. Isn’t it dreadful he drinks so?”
-
- * * * * *
-
-There was a personal result for Bellair, which he at no time
-misunderstood.
-
-“We have considered creating a position for you next to Mr. Sproxley,”
-said the elder Mr. Wetherbee, the second morning following.
-
-Bellair bowed.
-
-“Since you have been with us less than three years, this is very good
-comment on the character of your services and our hope for your future
-with us----”
-
-“What additional salary goes with the position?” Bellair had asked.
-
-“If I followed my own inclination, it would be considerable. I have
-been able to secure for you, however, but a slight increase----”
-
-This was one of Mr. Seth’s little ways. He added hopes of fine quality.
-There was a further point:
-
-“You will at times handle considerable money and we must insist upon
-your putting in trust for us the sum of two thousand dollars.”
-
-“I haven’t two thousand dollars, Mr. Wetherbee,” Bellair said.
-
-“Of course, we trust you. It is a form--a form, nevertheless, upon
-which a valuable relation of this kind should be placed on a business
-basis.”
-
-Bellair repeated.
-
-“But you have friends----”
-
-“Not with two thousand dollars’ surety for me--no friend like that.”
-
-“Banks insist upon this--among those employés who handle much money----”
-
-“I know--but that amount cannot be arranged.”
-
-“How much can you put in trust available to Lot & Company in event of
-your departure----”
-
-“I have slightly less than one thousand dollars----”
-
-“Could you raise one thousand dollars?”
-
-“With some effort.”
-
-“Of course, it will draw interest for you----”
-
-“I understand these affairs.”
-
-The matter was referred to the next day when it was decided to accept
-Bellair’s amount of one thousand dollars, which Lot & Company could
-not touch without his consent, except in the event of his departure
-with company funds; and which Bellair could not draw without written
-statement from Lot & Company to the effect that he was leaving with a
-balanced account.
-
-Thereafter he was one with Mr. Sproxley in the financial management,
-under the eye of Seth Wetherbee. One by one he learned the points of
-the system. Wherever the accounts had run over a series of years, there
-were byways of loot. These pilferings were not made at once, on the
-same basis that a gardener does not cut asparagus for market from young
-roots. The plants were encouraged to establish themselves. After that
-the open market was supplied with a certain output, the rest belonging
-to Lot & Company’s table. It frequently occurred to Bellair with a
-sort of enveloping darkness that he had the institution in his power;
-and with a different but equal force that he had a life position in
-all naturalness; that his life would be spent with slowly increasing
-monetary reward for juggling the different accounts--the field of
-crooked canes which was the asparagus-bed of Lot & Company. He did not
-like it. He was not happy; and yet he realised that the adjustments his
-nature had already made to the facts, suggested an entire adjustment
-later, the final easy acceptance.
-
-
- 3
-
-Bellair had thought many times of getting out from under the die, but
-it never came to him with quite the force as on that Monday morning,
-after watching the _Jade_ fare forth from the Brooklyn water-front.
-Something had turned within him as a result of that little pilgrimage,
-something that spurred to radicalism and self-assertion. At no time had
-Bellair credited himself with a fairer honesty than most men. He had
-never given it a large part of thinking. Roughly he had believed that
-to be honest is the common lot. The corruption in the office which he
-could not assimilate had to do with extensive ramifications, its lying
-to itself. The instant seizing upon Mr. Prentidd’s alleged weakness
-on the part of the younger Lot and the elder Wetherbee; the action of
-Mr. Sproxley with the ledger; the subtle will-breaking and spiritual
-blinding of all the employés in a process that never slept and was
-operative in every thought and pulse of the establishment--the extent
-and talent of these, and the untellable blackness of it all, prevailed
-upon Bellair with the force of a life-impression.
-
-Bellair’s present devil was a kind of inertia. Granting that the
-Unknowable had been charged with periods of intense action of several
-kinds, the recent half-decade might be regarded as its reflex
-condition. There is an ebb and flow to all things, and it is easier to
-adjust Bellair’s years at Lot & Company as a sort of resting period for
-his faculties, than to accept a constitutional inertia in his case, for
-subsequent events do not quite bear that out. He doubtless belonged
-to that small class of down town men who do their work well enough,
-but without passion, who have faced the modern world and its need of
-bread and cake, and who have compromised, giving hours in exchange for
-essential commodities, but nothing like the full energies of their
-lives. It is a way beset with pitfalls, but the unavoidable result of a
-system that multiplies products and profits and minimizes the chances
-for fine workmanship on every hand. Moreover in Bellair’s case there is
-a philosophical detachment to be considered. The aims and purports of
-the printing establishment were coldly and absolutely material. These
-did not challenge him to any fine or full expenditure of his powers;
-and if he had touched that higher zone of philosophy which makes a
-consecration of the simplest and the heaviest tasks, he had at least
-found it impracticable to make it work among the systems of Lot &
-Company’s business.
-
-The two years or more since he was made assistant cashier had brought
-many further items and exhibits. He was now used on the left hand side
-of the throne, developed in the darkness-department already overworked,
-the eye of which was Mr. Seth and the hand, Mr. Sproxley. For as yet
-Bellair believed that even Eben Wetherbee had only suspicions. This was
-the bite of the whole drama. There were men in the building who would
-have died for their conviction that the House was honest. You might
-have told these men that Lot & Company was a morgue of conservatism;
-that having existed under a certain policy for seventy-five years,
-was the chief reason for its changing; that free, unhampered genius
-never found utterance through that House--and any of a dozen clerks
-would have laughed, spoken proudly of unerring dividends and uncanny
-stability, granting the rest. But that Lot & Company was structurally
-crooked was incredible except to the few who performed the trick.
-Bellair knew, for instance, that his best friend in the office,
-Broadwell, head of the advertising, was innocent....
-
-Monday passed without his giving notice. He quailed before the
-questions that would be asked. If it were not for the one thousand
-dollars, he would have escaped with a mere “Good-night,” though
-a panic would have started until the Company was assured of the
-innocence of his departure. As for a panic, Lot & Company had that
-coming, he thought. Now he knew that he would not be able to get his
-surety-deposit until all was made certain in his regard by the firm....
-
-Bellair wasn’t greedy, nor caught in any great desire for wealth. He
-had fallen into the Down town Stream, but did not belong. Every month
-had weakened him. He disliked to lose his beginnings toward competence;
-all the subtle pressures of Lot & Company worked upon him not to
-change. There was no other way open. He had been touched by the fear
-of fear--a sort of poorhouse horror that dogs men up into the millions
-and down to the grave. In a way, he had become slave to the Job. He
-even had the suspicion that more men maim their souls by sticking to
-their jobs than by any dissipation. This is the way to the fear of
-fear--the insane undertow of modern materialism.
-
-He had tried to find peace outside his work in music and different
-philanthropies, but the people he met, their seriousness, perhaps more
-than anything else, and the vanity of their intellectualism, aroused
-his sense of humour. Bellair believed in the many, but was losing
-belief in himself. Often he had turned back to evenings in the room,
-and realised that the days were draining him too much for his own
-real expression of any kind. Always he felt that Lot & Company was
-too strong for his temper, that his edge was dulled in every contact.
-From his depressions, he saw ahead only two ways--a life of this, or a
-moment in which he had Lot & Company in his power unequivocably. The
-last was poisonous, and he knew it. He would have to fall considerably
-to profit by this sort of thing, but the inevitable conclusion of the
-whole matter, was that the life with Lot & Company was slowly but
-surely _getting him down_.
-
-On Tuesday noon, Mr. Seth asked him to take to lunch a certain young
-stationer from Philadelphia, named Filbrick. They were made acquainted
-in the corridor. Passing out, Bellair and his companion met the smile
-of Mr. Sproxley. Bellair began the formula of the cashier’s absolute
-and autocratic integrity. He did not really hear himself, until he
-reached this part:
-
-“I happen to be in the financial department. Two or three times each
-year, the whole office is thrown into a mess over some little strayed
-account----”
-
-He stopped. It was less that he was saying this, than that he had come
-so far without a nudge from within. They had passed the big front
-doors, and met the wind of the street before he realised how deep the
-mannerism of the establishment had prevailed upon him. The process had
-passed almost into fulfilment before the truth within him had stirred
-from its sleep.... A very grey day. All through that luncheon he had
-found himself at angles from his companion, in strategic hollows,
-never in the level open. It wasn’t that he was different from usual,
-but that he was watching himself more shrewdly. His inner coherence
-was repeatedly broken, though the outer effects were not. He had never
-perceived before with such clarity that a man cannot be square and
-friendly to another man, when his mind and critical faculties are busy
-appraising him, while his eyes and lips approved and assuaged. Bellair
-that day realised his moral derangement--that he must be ripped open
-and his displaced organs corrected once for all, if anything decent was
-to come from him ever again.... He was still thinking in mid-afternoon,
-in the very trance of these thoughts, when he happened to look into Mr.
-Sproxley’s face. It seemed to him that there was a movement of most
-pitiful activities back of the red and black of Mr. Sproxley’s eyes.
-
-There was much mental roving on Bellair’s part that week; moments in
-which the Monday morning abandon returned, and his self-amazement of
-the Tuesday luncheon, upon discovering how deeply his thoughts were
-imbedded in the prevailing lie. New York and the salary clutched him
-hard at intervals; so that he saw something of what was meant to give
-it up; also he saw that dreams are dreams.... Thousands of other young
-men would be glad to do his work, even his dirty work.
-
-He had just returned from lunch on Friday when he started, to perceive
-the ruddy face and powerful frame of Mr. Prentidd darken the front
-door--which he had not done since his voice was last raised. Bellair
-was conscious of Seth Wetherbee hitching up his chair and a peculiar
-gasping cough from the old man, but his own eyes did not turn from the
-caller’s face--which moved slowly about, the pale little exchange-miss
-behind the first barrier, attentive to catch the stranger’s eye and
-answer his question. The inventor glanced slowly among desks and
-doors. His eye sought Sproxley, and the furtive black eyes of the
-latter shot down to his ledger as if crippled on the wing. His eyes
-held Bellair and the young man felt the scorn of ages burn through
-his veins--something new to his later life, yet deep in his heart,
-something he had known somewhere before, as if he had betrayed a
-good king, and his punishment had been to look that king in the eye
-before he died. Bellair had never hated himself as at that moment,
-and certainly never before felt himself identified body and soul with
-modern corruption, as now with scorn like a fiery astringent in his
-veins. The eyes of Mr. Prentidd finally settled upon the figure of Mr.
-Seth Wetherbee, their rays striking him abeam as it were. The old man
-hunched closer if anything, but did not raise his head.
-
-The inventor was a physical person; his morals of a physical nature;
-his Nubian file of the same dimension and method of mind--a strong
-man who had to do with pain and pleasure of the flesh; his ideas of
-possessions were of the world. He moved softly, a soft, dangerous
-smile upon his lips, to the desk of the vice-president and jerked up
-a chair. The old man had to raise his head. It was as if the scene of
-three years ago was now to be continued, for Bellair saw the sorrowful,
-lengthened face of Mr. Eben turn from his desk in the other room and
-bend toward his father, whose face was intensely pathetic now in its
-forced smile of greeting.
-
-“You’re not looking well--in fact, you’re looking old, Mr. Wetherbee,
-as if you would die pretty soon.”
-
-“I’m not so strong as I was, Mr. Prentidd.”
-
-Bellair couldn’t have done it, as the inventor did. Had the man stolen
-and ruined him--he could not have pushed on after the pathos of that.
-
-“You’re a dirty old man--and you’ll die hard and soon--for you lied to
-me when I trusted you. I suppose you have lied to everybody, all your
-life----”
-
-Thus he baited Mr. Seth feature by feature, pointing out the disorder
-of liver, kidney-puffs, the general encroachments of death, in fact.
-Then he pictured the death itself--all of a low literary strength as
-was Mr. Prentidd’s cold habit. The answer of Mr. Seth was an incoherent
-helplessness, his lips moving but with nothing rational under the sun,
-as if he had been called by some inexorable but superior being to an
-altitude where he was too evil to breathe, and begged piteously to be
-allowed to sink back and die. It was Mr. Eben who stopped it, coming
-forward quietly, his steps rounded, his shoulders bent, his face
-seeming brittle as chalk in its fixity. The thing that he said was
-quite absurd:
-
-“You really mustn’t, Mr. Prentidd. It is too much.”
-
-The inventor turned to him. His look was that of a man who turns a
-large morsel in his mouth.
-
-“Perhaps you’re right,” he said with a slow laugh. “There is this
-delicacy to old liars. Come give me my check--and I will go.”
-
-“Your check----” Mr. Eben repeated.
-
-“Yes, now--the check for the difference which your father’s lie cost me
-three years ago. I have seen the English books----”
-
-Now young Mr. Jabez Lot came forward:
-
-“Of course, if there has been error or any breach of contract--of
-course, you see a check off hand such as you ask is out of the
-question----”
-
-The elder Mr. Wetherbee sank back to his desk; and now the dreamer, Mr.
-Nathan Lot, appeared with a frightened word of amelioration. Mr. Eben
-stood by the caller to the last moment. The latter was not at his best
-in this period--his threats and anger amounted to the usual result.
-Lot & Company refused to deal further, referring him to its attorney.
-The strangest part of it all was the gathering of three around Mr.
-Seth Wetherbee’s desk--Mr. Jabez and his father with Mr. Eben. Yet the
-concern of the Lots, father and son, had nothing to do with dangerous
-exhaustion of the vice-president.
-
-“We have beaten him,” the dreamer said softly.
-
-“Yes, Mr. Jackson will do the rest,” said Mr. Jabez. Mr. Jackson was
-the attorney.
-
-Bellair, even with his training, had to take it slowly. “Beaten
-him”--that meant that the money had not passed to Mr. Prentidd. It was
-now with the law and the years--millions against a mere inventor. The
-psychic slaughtering of the old vice-president did not count--nothing
-of words counted. The firm had won, because the firm had not been
-knocked down and its pockets rifled--that would have meant loss. Not
-having been forced to pay, they had won.... Even as Bellair thought
-this out in full, the system of salving had begun from all the
-firm-heads for the benefit of those who heard. It was simply arranged
-and stated.... Their worst fears were realised: Mr. Prentidd was
-insane.... Mr. Seth went home early. Bellair knew that Mr. Eben had not
-been able to turn all responsibility to Mr. Jackson.... That afternoon
-Bellair reached his decision--in fact, he found it finished within him
-after the scene.
-
-Yet he could not walk out at once, since he must have the amount of
-his surety, the item of interest and salary due. A certain project in
-his mind prevented the possibility of waiting several days for this
-amount to be detached from Lot & Company. Especially now after the
-final scene, they would make themselves very sure of his accounts and
-intentions. Late that Friday afternoon, it happened that considerable
-cash came in after banking hours. Bellair’s custom was to put this in a
-safety-vault until the following day. This time he held out the amount
-of his deposit and two years’ interest, together with the amount of his
-salary to date, locking up with the balance his order of release to the
-account of the Trust company. He determined to write a letter to Nathan
-Lot at once....
-
-
- 4
-
-The City had a different look to him that night in his new sense of
-detachment. There were moments at dinner in which he felt as if he were
-already forgotten and out of place. Bellair had only known the one
-landlady in his five years of New York; yet he knew this one no better
-now than at the end of the first month. Perhaps there was nothing more
-to learn. She was anæmic of body, and yet did prodigious tasks, very
-quiet, very grey; and days to her were like endless rooms of the same
-house, all grim and uniform. She had her little ways, her continual
-suspicions, but all her faith was gone. Without church, without
-friends, without any new thought or gossip, her view of the world was
-neither magnified nor diminished, but greatly shortened, her eyes were
-almost incredibly dim. There was nothing to love about her. She was not
-excessively clean, nor excellent in cooking. She was like wax-work,
-a little dusty, her mind and all. Bellair paid her for the week, and
-added a present:
-
-“Which I forgot on your birthday,” he said.
-
-She held it in her hand. It did not seem hers. The apathy extended to
-all that was not actually due; all expectancy dead.
-
-“You mean you are giving this to me?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Thank you, Mr. Bellair,--perhaps you will want it some time again.”
-
-He wrote the letter to Mr. Nathan, but decided not to mail it until
-the last thing. He was restless over the irregularity in the money
-affair--had to assure himself again and again that he was taking not a
-cent that did not belong to him. The boarding-house was in the upper
-Forties between Broadway and Sixth avenue, and though he usually turned
-eastward for pleasure, this night he went among his own people, where
-even a nickle was medium of exchange. A stimulant did not exactly
-relieve his tension. His sense was that of loneliness, as he chose a
-table in _Brandt’s_ indoor garden.
-
-A mixed quartette presently broke into song behind him. Bellair’s
-thoughts were far from song. He was not expectant of music that would
-satisfy. Still something tugged him--again and again--until he really
-listened, but without turning. It was the voice of the contralto
-that was making an impression deep where his need was. There seemed
-an endless purple background to it, like a night of stars and south
-wind; the soft, deep volume rolled forth _for him_, and found itself
-expressed without amazement or travail. He turned now. The one voice
-was from the throat of a girl, just a girl, and though it was a gusty
-November, she was still wearing her summer hat.
-
-The face was merely pretty, but the voice was drama; flame of poppies
-in the presence of a fabulous orchid. Bellair’s heart may have been
-particularly sensitive to impression that night. The big brilliant
-den known as _Brandt’s_ did not seem to have been cast into any
-enchantment; and yet it was likely that Bellair knew as much about
-music natively and by acquisition as any one present. In fact, he had
-reached the state of appreciation which dares to enjoy that which
-appeals and to say so, having endured for several winters a zeal which
-rushed him from one to another musical event, intolerant of all save
-classic symphonies. It wasn’t the music that held him now--a high
-flowery operatic matter not particularly interesting nor well-done--but
-the contralto was just a little girl, and the round girlish breast
-which held nothing miraculous for the many, was sending forth tones
-that quivered through Bellair, spine and thigh, and thrilling his mind
-with a profound passion to do something for the singer--an intrinsic
-and clean emotion, but one which made him ashamed. For an instant,
-he felt himself setting out on the great adventure of his life, the
-faintest aroma of its romance touching his senses; something akin to
-his dreams in the prison of Lot & Company, and which he had not sensed
-at all since his departure, until this instant. Quickly it passed; yet
-he had the sense that this great romance had to do with the little
-singer.
-
-At once he wanted to take her from the other three; dreamed of working
-for her, so that she might have the chance she craved. Of course,
-she wanted something terribly; passionate want always went with such
-a voice. He saw her future alone. Some vampire of a manager would
-hear her. She would tie up--the little summer hat told him that. She
-would tie up, and New York would take her bloom before the flower
-matured--would take more than her little song. Here she was in
-_Brandt’s_ already, and singing as if for the angels.
-
-Bellair was four-fifths undiscovered country, as are all men but the
-very few, who dare to be themselves. Already the world was calling
-to him sharply for this first step aside from the worn highways of
-the crowd. He had not been normal to-night, even in his room; and his
-present adventure had already summoned forth all the hateful reserves
-of his training, as Prentidd’s departure had started the lies through
-the floors and halls of Lot & Company. His heart was calling out to the
-little singer, that here was a friend, one who understood and wanted
-nothing but to give; yet all that he had learned from the world was
-beating him back into the crowd.
-
-He saw that the music had hardly penetrated the vast vulgar throng.
-New York is so accustomed to be amused, to dine to music and forget
-itself in various entertainments, that the quartette barely held its
-own against the routine of eating and drink and the voices of rising
-stimulation. It was Bellair who started the little applause when the
-first number was over. He hated to do it. The clapping of hands drew to
-himself eyes that he did not care to cultivate, but it seemed the only
-way just then to help her to make good.
-
-The four of the quartette looked at him curiously, appraising his value
-as a critic, perhaps. Was he drunk or really appealed to? Was he worth
-considering? Applause at any price is dearly to be had. They took him
-in good faith, since he was not without desirable appearance. The young
-girl and the tenor arose and sang:
-
- “_Oh, that we two were Maying----_”
-
-The old song was a kind of fulfilment for Bellair, and preciously wrung
-his heart. He had never been Maying; wasn’t sure what sort of holidays
-were pulled off in regular Mayings; but he liked the song, and for all
-he knew the familiar sentiment was evoked bewitchingly. Many others
-now caught the thrall. These things are infectious. From hatred, he
-came to love _Brandt’s_--as if he had come home, and had been long away
-hungering--as if this were life, indeed.... They sang the last verse
-again, and sat down for hurried refreshment. The four were very near.
-The young girl caught Bellair’s eye, regarded him shyly for an instant,
-and turned to whisper to the bass, who seemed in charge of the four.
-
-“... Yes, but hurry back. We’ve got to pull out of here.”
-
-Bellair wasn’t dangling. Never had he been more intent to be decent and
-helpful. No one knew this. Even the girl was far from expectant. ...
-She sat down beside him.
-
-“Hello,” she said. “You don’t live in New York, do you?”
-
-“Yes, why?”
-
-“Oh, you looked so homesick--when we sang.”
-
-Bellair’s heart sank.
-
-“I think I was homesick. What may I order for you?”
-
-“A little Rhine wine--it’s very good here--and a sandwich----”
-
-The waiter was standing by. Bellair had to clear his voice before
-ordering. He was distressed--up to his eyes in gloom that was general
-and without name.
-
-
- 5
-
-“Do you sing in other places to-night?”
-
-“Oh, yes, we’re just beginning. We’re on Broadway at eleven.”
-
-“Where?”
-
-“First at _Pastern’s_, then at the _Castle_.”
-
-These places were just without the orbit of extravagance. She knew her
-answer was not exactly a stock-raiser, and added:
-
-“But I expect to be on the road in the Spring----”
-
-“Who with?”
-
-She mentioned a light opera troupe that was just short of broad and
-unqualified approval--like _Brandt’s_ and _Pastern’s_--an institution
-as yet without that mysterious toppiness which needs no props and meets
-sanction anywhere. These things are exactly ordered.
-
-“But you are so good--you should be with people who would help you.”
-
-She looked at him a little scornfully, something of weather and stress
-under the summer hat. She decided to be agreeable. “They all say that,”
-she said wearily.
-
-“I’m sorry. I said just what I thought.”
-
-“Study--a girl without a cent!” She lowered her voice: “Go with better
-people--before one is invited? Swing to the top of the opera before one
-is sufficiently urged?... Why, singing isn’t all. One must do more than
-sing----”
-
-“I don’t believe that----”
-
-“You should try. Singing won’t get you across. You’ve got to act, for
-one thing.”
-
-He was relieved that she did not discuss the angel business, which is
-forgotten in so few stories of struggle and failure.
-
-“I tell you, all that one has to do is to sing--when one sings as you
-do.”
-
-“I have heard that many times,” she said bitterly, “from people not in
-the fight. They didn’t come to New York on their nerve--as I did. I
-made up my mind not to be afraid of wolves or bears or cars--to take
-what I could get, and wait until somebody beckoned me higher. Meanwhile
-_Pastern’s_ and the _Castle_ and here----”
-
-“I wish I could do something for you.”
-
-Her eyes gleamed at him.
-
-“You need money?” he asked.
-
-“I need money so terribly--that it’s almost a joke--but what do _you_
-want?”
-
-Bellair rubbed his eyes, and smiled a little. “I don’t know what’s the
-matter with me, but I want to do something for you. At least, I did
-want just that.”
-
-“What happened?”
-
-“It isn’t a thing to talk or think about, I’m afraid. One starts
-thinking, and ends by wanting something--and I didn’t at first. What I
-said at first I meant--nothing more nor less.”
-
-Her lips tightened. “If you mean just that----”
-
-It raked him within. He did not help her by speaking. Somehow he had
-expected her to see that he had meant well. It was always a mystery to
-him how anything fine could be expected of men, if women were not so.
-
-“Of course, I have to understand,” she added. “I can do with a poor
-room and poor food, but I can’t get anywhere without clothes.... I must
-go now.”
-
-“I want you to excuse me if I’ve given you the idea of my being rich.
-I’m not, but I might help you some. How late do you work?”
-
-“One o’clock.”
-
-“Where are you last?”
-
-“At the _Castle_.”
-
-“And what time do you get there?”
-
-“About eleven-thirty.”
-
-“I’ll be there. Sing ‘_Maying_’ for an encore----”
-
-She made believe that she trusted him.
-
-“We’ll sing it at the _Castle_ the last thing,” she said, leaving
-hastily.
-
-No ease had come to him. His thoughts now were not the same as those
-which had come during the singing. He tried to put them away. He didn’t
-like the idea of giving her money. He knew that she didn’t expect to
-see him again; also that if he did come she would accept the service of
-a stranger, and give in return as little as she could. How explicit she
-was, already touched with the cold stone of the world. He did want to
-help her, and it had been pure at first. Talk as usual had broken the
-beauty of that. Sophistication and self-consciousness had come; her
-face changing more and more as the moments passed after the song. New
-York had taught them each their parts. It had been her thought from the
-first that he was looking for prey, but it had been very far from his.
-
-Bellair was not without imagination. He saw himself following this
-girl in a future time, playing the part he had despised in other
-men--the dumb, slaving, enduring male; she continually expectant of
-his services, petulant, unreasonable without them. For the first time
-the question came to him: Is there not a queer sort of conquest in the
-lives of such men?... She was for herself; had it all planned out, the
-waiting, and what she would give on the way up, beside her song. It
-would not be much; as little as possible, in fact; but as much as was
-absolutely demanded. Bellair in the present state of mind seemed to
-object to all this less than what she wanted of the world--praise and
-fame.
-
-“She’s just a little girl after all,” he muttered. “She ought to have
-her chance.”
-
-He added (easing the conception a little for his own peace) that she
-was only franker and more outspoken than other women he had known; that
-they all wanted money and place, and wanted men who could furnish such
-things. Suddenly it occurred that the incident automatically supplied
-the final break with Lot & Company and New York. He laughed aloud....
-He might borrow enough in time to make up the amount he gave her for
-morning, but that would certainly be a betrayal of the fiery urge that
-had whipped him all week to cross over into a new life and burn the
-last bridge.
-
-He took his bags down to the station, arranging with the landlady
-to have his goods stored for the present. After that he rambled, a
-grateful freshness in the cool wind. His steps led through darker
-streets, where he startled the misery from the faces of the forbidden
-who took a chance on him. Their voices _would_ whine; they couldn’t
-help it, and all they wanted in the world was money.... He was at the
-_Castle_ before the quartette came.... They sang and Bellair dreamed.
-
-He had never made pretence of other than the commonest lot; yet he
-conned now an early manhood that made later years utterly common. He
-followed the enticements of the sea, of the future, the singing-girl
-never far away, the rest shadows and sadness.... He must do something
-for her.... Rich natural tones winged forth from the breast of a maid,
-from shoulders so delicate and white. He would make and keep her great;
-here was something to do, to work for. It was like finding the ultimate
-secret. He knew now what had been the matter all the time--nothing
-to work for.... He would stand between her and all that he knew was
-rotten--the crowds like this at the _Castle_, the blurred face of the
-tenor which was both sharp and soft, the tired, tawdry soprano, the
-stupid animal of a bass. And Bellair, in the magnanimity of his heart’s
-effusion, included himself among the forces of destruction. He would
-keep her from the worst of himself, by all means.... She kept her
-promise, and arose with the tenor at last:
-
- “_Oh, that we two were Maying----_”
-
-... New York and all the rest reversed again in his mind. It wasn’t
-rotten, but lavish to furnish everything for money--so much that men
-and women were lost in the offerings, and did not know what to choose.
-Yet it was man’s business to choose. Bellair listened as one across the
-world; as if he had been gone a year and was thirsting and starving to
-get back. He was literally longing for New York, with its ramifications
-all about him--yet the thing he wanted, he could not touch. It was
-like a sick stomach that infested his whole nature with desire, while
-everything was at hand but the exact nameless thing desired.... She
-was like a saint, as she stood there, her mouth so pure, her features
-so pretty, her voice so brave and tireless--starry to Bellair, a
-night-voice with depths and heights and dew-fragrance. She was coming
-to him.
-
-“You look just the same. I wouldn’t take you for a New Yorker.... Yes,
-I am through for to-night.”
-
-“I should think you’d love to sing,” he said.
-
-The remark was fatuous to her. She didn’t know that a year ago Bellair
-wouldn’t have dared to say anything so commonplace, but that he had
-come back to this simplicity from the complication of classics she had
-never heard of.
-
-“Tell me, what do you want most?” he asked earnestly. “I don’t mean the
-need of clothes. We’ve covered that----”
-
-“I want all that a voice will bring.”
-
-“Great salaries, noise wherever you go, a continual performance of
-newspaper articles?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“A score of men praying for favours?”
-
-She sipped warily.
-
-“Don’t mind my question. It isn’t fair. But tell me, doesn’t it do
-something to you--to get even a man like me going, for instance,--to
-make him all different and full of pictures that haven’t anything to do
-with the case?”
-
-“I don’t know what you mean.”
-
-He stared at her. “You ought to. You do it. I’m not talking of art
-or soul, or any of that stuff. That isn’t it. I mean just what
-your singing amounts to in my case. It means New York, but not the
-routine New York--possibly the New York that might be. It means
-_Maying_--whatever that is----”
-
-“You must have been drinking a lot, since I left _Brandt’s_,” she said
-merrily.
-
-He didn’t let it hurt him, and was miserable anyway. “The fact is, I
-didn’t take a drink since Sixth avenue, until a moment ago.”
-
-He saw that she was debating the vital matter of the evening--whether
-he was a piker who must be shaken presently, or whether he would really
-make good on his offer to help in the essentials of career.
-
-“What’s your name?” he asked.
-
-“Bessie Brealt.”
-
-“And where could I find you, if I wanted to write?”
-
-He noted her swift disappointment. There was positive pain in the air.
-He knew well what she was thinking, though her sweet face covered well:
-that he was about to promise to send the money to her, that ancient
-beau business. She took a last chance, and mentioned a booking agency
-that might answer for a permanent address.
-
-“I’ll want to write--I feel that. And here, Bessie, if you don’t mind
-my saying ‘Bessie,’ I can spare a hundred for that wardrobe. I’d like
-to do some really big thing for you.”
-
-He saw tears start to her eyes, but was not carried out of reason by
-them. She had wanted the money fiercely and it had come.
-
-“How are you going to get home?” he asked, to relieve the embarrassment.
-
-She glanced up quickly.
-
-“I don’t mean that I want to take you home,” he said, shocked by the
-ugliness of the world that had called this explanation so hastily.
-“My train needs me.... Say, Bessie, men haven’t supplied you with
-altogether pleasant experiences so far, have they?”
-
-“I’ll get a car home.”
-
-He gave her his card.
-
-“Thank you,” she said.
-
-“Better let me get you a cab to-night. It’s late.”
-
-She thanked him again.... At the curb, as the driver backed in, Bessie
-put up her lips to him.
-
-“... Dear singing-girl--I didn’t ask that.”
-
-“It’s because you didn’t, I think. Really that’s it. Oh, thank you.
-Good-night.”
-
-Bellair beckoned another cab, and sank back into the dark. All the way
-to the station, and through to the Savannah-Pullman, he was wrenching
-himself clear from something like a passion to turn about to New York.
-At the last moment, before the train moved, he recalled the letter to
-Mr. Nathan, and hailed a station porter from the step.
-
-“Please mail this for me,” he said, bringing up silver with the letter.
-
-
-
-
-PART THREE
-
-THE JADE: II
-
-
- 1
-
-BELLAIR had to wait less than two days in Savannah, for the _Jade_
-had made a pretty passage. Impressions rushed home too swift for
-his mind to follow, as he stepped aboard from the cotton dock; the
-number of impressions, he did not know, until he began the inventory
-in his cabin afterward. Last and first and most compelling, however,
-was the spectacle of Stackhouse, that David Hume figure of a man,
-reclining in his cane-chair of similar vast proportions just aft of the
-main-shrouds. A momentous hammock of canes, that steamer-chair, with
-gentle giving slopes for the calves and broad containers, polished with
-wear and tightly woven like armour, for the arms; a sliding basket for
-the head, suggestive of a guillotine’s grisly complement; the whole
-adjusted to Stackhouse and no other.
-
-Humid heat in the harbour, a day of soft low clouds. The man who pushed
-Brooklyn from him, had discarded even more thoroughly the clothing of
-temperate climes. The vivid black of his hairy chest was uncovered, and
-there was a shining bar of the same, just above the selvage of white
-sock. Bellair thought he must be hairy as a collie dog.... But mainly
-that which weighted and creaked the chair seemed an enormous puddle of
-faded silks.
-
-The bulky brown head (which arose plumb as a wall from the back of the
-neck) had slightly bowed as Bellair passed. There was something ox-like
-in the placidity of the brown eyes, but that was only their first beam,
-as it were. Much that was within and behind the eyes of Stackhouse,
-Bellair thought of afterward. Through a deep, queer process, it came
-to him that even the answer for his coming was in that indescribable
-background; and restless, too, in the pervading brown, a movement of
-sleek animals there. The Japanese woman had _skuffed_ forward with
-drink for her lord.
-
-Over all was the cloud of canvas and rigging, which Bellair had studied
-from the land, and which had forced him to a fine respect for the
-ruffian sailor-men who could move directly in such an arcanum, and
-command its service. Bellair had not found such labour on shore, having
-lost his respect for the many who did not learn even the commonest
-work.... There was a deep-sea smell about her, a solution of tar and
-dried fruit, paint and steaming coppers from the galley.
-
-The very age of the _Jade_ was a charm to him. Only her spine and ribs
-and plates were of steel--the rest a priceless woodwork that had come
-into its real beauty under the endlessly wearing hands of man. There
-seemed a grain and maturity to the inner parts, as if the strain and
-roughing of the seas had brought out the real enduring heart of the
-excellent fabric. The rose-wood side-board of his upper berth, for
-instance, placed for the full light from the port to fall upon it,
-was worth the price of the passage--sixteen inches wide, a full inch
-and one-half thick, worn to a soft lustre as if the human hands had
-hallowed it, and giving back to the touch the same answer from the
-years that a vine brings to stone-work and the bouquet to wine.... The
-_Jade_ had known good care and answered. Floors, even of the cabins,
-were hollowed from much stoning; the hinges held and ferried their
-burdens in silence, and the old locks moved with soft contented clicks,
-the wards running in new oil.
-
-A city man who had long dreamed of a country garden; or indeed, Bellair
-was a city man who had long dreamed of a full-rigged ship to fulfil in
-part the romance of his soul. The _Jade_ had a dear inner life for him,
-satisfied him with her lines, her breathing, settling and repose. A
-fine hunger began to animate the length and breadth of the man.
-
-There was a half hour of straight, clear thinking, of the kind that
-plumbs the outlook with the in, and mainly comes unawares. Bessie
-Brealt, of course, appeared and passed, in all the hardness of her life
-and the pity of it, but the days that had elapsed since the parting had
-not changed his unique desire to help her; nor did he lie to himself
-that he wanted her, too, as a man wants a woman. He loved her in a way,
-against his will. Possibly the kiss had fixed that. In the solution of
-the running thoughts, and without subtlety of mingling, was the face on
-deck, the dark, extraordinary face of Stackhouse.
-
-They were a full day at sea, before Bellair was called to sit down
-before the great cane chair. There was a warm land wind; November
-already forgotten. The _Jade_ had gathered up her skirts and was
-swinging along with a low music of her own. Stackhouse waddled back to
-his chair from the land-rail, a remarkable mass of crumpled silks, the
-canes marked in the general effusion of dampness along his back and
-legs, the silks caught up behind by a system of wrinkles and imprints,
-and one hitched pantaloon revealing the familiar muff of fur above the
-selvage of his fallen sock. Now Stackhouse was preparing to enter.
-Bellair was caught in the tension. The process, while prodigious, was
-not without its delicate parts. One hand was irrevocably occupied
-with a long-stemmed China pipe, a warm creamy vase, already admired by
-Bellair. Breath came in puffs and pantings of fragrant tobacco, but
-there were gurglings and strange stoppages of air that complained from
-deeper passages.
-
-Creaking began at the corners; and a wallowing as if from the father of
-all boars. Now the centre of the chair caught the strain in full and
-whipped forth its remonstrance. One after another the legs gripped the
-deck, each with a whimper of its own; and the air was filled with sharp
-singing tension which infected the nerves of the watcher. Suddenly
-the torso seemed to let go of itself; and from the canes of the huge
-central hollow came a scream in unison. By miracle the whole found
-itself once more and the breathing of Stackhouse subsided to a whine.
-
-“We are entering the latitude of rum,” said he. “Whoever you are, young
-man, drink the drink of nature, and you will brosper.”
-
-The west was just a shore-line, the dusk rising like a tide. The hand
-of the owner pressed the silks variously about his chest, and at last
-located a loose match. Nerves were sparsely scattered in these thick,
-heavy-fleshed fingers. He had to stop all talk and memory to direct his
-feeling. The match at length emerged from his palm, and slithered over
-the fine canes of the arm. It was damp. Stackhouse rubbed the sulphur
-delicately in the hair at his temple and tried again. Fire leaped to
-the tip, and poured out from the great hand which pressed it to the
-pipe and mothered it from the wind. From the gurgling passages, smoke
-now poured as the sweetness in Sampson’s riddle.
-
-Rum had come. The Japanese woman served them. The youth of her face
-chilled Bellair; the littleness of her, all the tints and delicacy of
-a miniature in her whitened face. Bright-hued silk, a placid smile,
-the _skuffing_ of her wooden sandals and the clock-work intricacy of
-the coils of her black hair--these were but decorations of the tragedy
-which came home to the American where he was still tender.... But why
-should he burn tissue? She seemed happy. He knew that the Japanese
-women require very little to make them happy; but that little was
-denied this maiden. An hour a day to giggle with her girl-friends
-behind a lattice, and she might have borne twenty-three hours of hell
-with calmness and cheer, not counterfeit like this.
-
-“You have no true drink of the soil in Ameriga,” said Stackhouse.
-“You do not make beer nor wine, so you make no music. The only drink
-and the only music that come from the States of Ameriga, are from the
-nigger-folk who do not belong there. They make music and corn whiskey.
-The rest is boison to the soul.”
-
-The voice was rich and mellow. He must have known Teutonic beginnings,
-or enough association for the mannerisms to get into his blood.
-Stackhouse was not even without that softness of sentiment, though he
-was tender only for men. Except for a spellable word here and there,
-his accent was inimitable. He talked of little other than death, and
-with indescribable care--as if he had been much with men of another
-language or with men of slow understanding.... It may have been the
-drink, or the sunset over distant land; the Spanish Main ahead, or
-the dryness and pentness of the city-heart and its achievement of
-long-dreamed desire in a snug, sweet ship under the easy strain of
-sails with wind in them; in any event Bellair was drawn with exquisite
-passion--drawn southward as the _Jade_ was drawn in the soft,
-irresistible strength of nature.
-
-He knew that this would pass, that he could not continue to sense this
-_rapport_ with the sea-board, but he loved it now, breathed deep, and
-saw Stackhouse as he was never to be seen again. There was enchantment
-in the eyes of the great wanderer, and a certain culture of its kind in
-its stories. Bellair listened and in the gleam of the broad, dark eyes,
-there seemed a glimpse of burning ships, shadowy caravans on moonlit
-sands and the flash of arms by night; low-lying lights of island ports,
-formless rafts, spuming breakers, mourning derelicts--just glimpses,
-but of all the gloom and garishness of the sea. He began a monologue
-that night, and though it is not this story, it was not interrupted
-except by meals and sleeping, for many days; and all the pauses in that
-story were the dramatic pauses of death:
-
-“... I have travelled more than most travellers and have seen more than
-is good for one man. In New York I saw Brundage of Frisco, who asked
-me if I remembered Perry. I said I remembered very well, for Perry
-was a bartner of mine, before young Brundage came out to the Islands.
-He told me Perry was six weeks buried. That is the way now. When I
-was young, my combanions did not die in beds. They were killed. Eight
-months ago, I saw Emslie--waved at him going up the river to Shanghai.
-He was outward bound, and came home to us in Adelaide in a sealed
-box. Old Foster, who is richer than I, has married a little Marie in
-Manila and may die when he pleases now. The South Seas still run in and
-yonder among Island shores, but who buys wine for the Japanese girls in
-Dunedin, since Norcross was conscripted for the service we all shall
-know?...
-
-“And thus you come to the _Jade_, and some time you will here them dell
-of Stackhouse. Who knows but you may dell the story--of a familiar face
-turned down like an oft-filled glass? And some one will say, ‘He has
-not laughed these many years.’ They used to say in the _Smilax_ at Hong
-Kong, when the harbour was raving and the seas were trying to climb
-the mountain--they used to say that Stackhouse was laughing somewhere
-off the China coasts. But there are only so many laughs in a man,
-and they go out with the years. Most of those who said that thing of
-Stackhouse--yes, most of them, are dead as glacial drift.”
-
-Such was the quality of his perorations, hunched ox-like just aft of
-the main-shrouds--the Japanese woman coming and going with the ship’s
-bells, bringing drinks day and night.
-
-“It seared my coppers--that drinking in the States of Ameriga. It will
-not subdue,” said he. “One has a thirst for weeks after a few days of
-drinking in Ameriga. For one must be bolite.”
-
-He was never stimulated, seldom depressed, but saturated his great
-frame twenty hours of the twenty-four, the Japanese woman seeming
-to understand with few or no words the whims of taste of which he
-was made. Just once in the small hours, Bellair heard her voice. The
-cane-chair had not been empty long, and the silence of soft rain
-was upon the deck. Bellair had opened a package of New York papers
-purchased on the last day in Savannah.... It was just one scream, but
-the scream of one not frightened by any human thing.... The roll of
-papers dropped down behind the bunk. Anyway, Bellair could not have
-read after that. Early in the morning after hours of torture of dreams,
-he was awakened as usual by the sluicing of the monster. Two Lascars
-who travelled with Stackhouse apparently for no other purpose, poured
-pails of salt water upon him in the early hour when the decks were
-washed; and often at midday as they neared the Line. It was given to
-Bellair more than once, as the voyage lengthened, to witness this
-hippodrome.
-
-
- 2
-
-Her face was continually turned away. Bellair wondered as days passed
-if he should ever see her face to face--the silent, far-looking young
-woman with a nursing baby in her arms. On deck she stood at the rail,
-eyes lost oversea. Her contemplation appeared to have nothing to do
-with Europe or America, but set to the wind wherever it came from, as
-the strong are always turned up-stream. Sometimes she wore a little
-blue jacket, curiously reminding Bellair of school-days, and though she
-was not far from that in years, she seemed to have passed far into the
-world. The child cried rarely.
-
-There was a composure about the mother, but he did not know if it were
-stolidity or poise. Certainly she had known poverty, but health was
-in her skin, and there was something in that white profile, that the
-sun had touched with olive rather than tan, that stopped his look.
-The perfection of it dismayed Bellair. He loved beauty, but did not
-trust it, did not trust himself with it. The presence of a beautiful
-face stimulated him as no wine could do, but it also started him to
-idealising that which belonged to it, and this process had heretofore
-brought disappointment. Bellair did not want this touch of magnetism
-now. Beauty was plentiful. He had seen the profiles of Italian girls in
-New York, that the Greeks would have worshipped, and which the early
-worship of the Greeks was doubtless responsible for--beauty with little
-beside but giggle and sham. He disliked the thing in a man’s breast
-that answers so instantly to the line and colour of a woman’s face;
-objected to it primarily, because it was one of the first and most
-obvious tricks of nature for the replenishment of species in man and
-below. Bellair fancied to answer the captivation, if any at all, of a
-deeper wonder in woman than the contour of her countenance.
-
-He was aware that many a woman has a beautiful profile, whose direct
-look is a disturbing reconsideration. This kept his eyes down, when she
-was opposite in the dining cabin. We are strangely trained at table;
-at no time so merciful. The human dining countenance must be lovely,
-indeed, not to break the laws of beauty. Only outright lovers dare, and
-they are bewildered by each other, and see not. So he did not know the
-colour of her eyes.
-
-She nursed her baby often on deck, sitting bare-headed in the wind and
-sun, sometimes singing to it. The singing was all her own; Bellair
-wished she wouldn’t. Her melodies were foreign, and sometimes it
-seemed to him as if they were just a touch off the key. Her low
-dissonances, he described vaguely as Russian, but retained the
-suspicion that she was tonally imperfect of hearing.
-
-The singing and the picture of her was just as far as possible from
-Bessie Brealt, but she made Bellair think. In all likelihood this was
-the general objection. His eyes smarted in the dusks, as he thought of
-the other singer (as solitary in New York as this woman here), who was
-determined not to be afraid of the cars or the bears or the wolves.
-Every day Bessie’s first words returned to him:
-
-“A little Rhine wine--it’s very good here.”
-
-And always the devastation of that sentence was great. It was a
-street-woman’s inside familiarity, _Brandt’s_ being one of her
-rounds; as she might speak of the beer at _Holbeck’s_ or the chops at
-_Sharpe’s_. Yet Bessie was not greedy, and had no taste for wine. It
-was the glibness, the town mannerism, and the low, easy level which
-her acceptance of the common saying revealed; the life which she was
-willing to make her own, at least exteriorly. But after all, in the
-better moments, it seemed very silly to deny a great soul to the girl
-who could sing as Bessie sang. Some day she would feel her soul....
-
-The preacher, third passenger on board the _Jade_, reported that the
-Faraway woman was returning to her home in New Zealand. Fleury didn’t
-know if her baby was boy or girl, but judged that it was very healthy,
-since it cried so little.
-
-Fleury wasn’t promising to Bellair’s eyes. First of all it was
-the cloth; and then during the first three weeks at sea, Bellair
-spent innumerable hours in the periphery of the great cane-chair.
-He did not resist his prejudice. “A missionary going out with the
-usual effrontery,” he decided. The preacher’s face appeared placid
-and boyish.... Fleury, however, continued to observe cheerful
-good-mornings, to praise the fine weather, and to offer opportunities
-for better acquaintance--all without being obtrusive in the least.
-Hayti and Santo Domingo--names once remote and romantic to the city
-man’s mind--were now vanished shores, and as yet the voyage was but
-well begun.... The three passengers were served together in the cabin,
-except in cases when the Stackhouse narrative happened to be running
-particularly well. Bellair would then be called to dine with the owner.
-Captain McArliss would appear at this mess and disappear--the courses
-being brought to him one after another in a certain rapid form. The
-Captain seemed so conscious, that Bellair never quite dared to observe
-what happened to the food, but he was certain that McArliss did not
-bolt. His suspicion was that he tasted or sipped as the case might be,
-merely spoiling the offering. He was gone before Stackhouse was really
-started.
-
-It was less what the giant ate, than the excessive formality and
-importance of his table sessions that prevailed upon the American.
-Dinner was the chief doing of the day. Bellair had never complained,
-even in thought, of the food served to him in the usual mess, but with
-Stackhouse everything was extra fine from the Chinese standpoint--all
-delicacies and turns of the art, all choice cuttings and garnishments,
-a most careful consideration of wines--so that from the first audible
-delectation of the contents of the silver tureen, to the choice of a
-cigar (invariably after a few deep inhalations from a cigarette “made
-in Acca by the brisoners”), there was formality and deep responsibility
-upon the ship; and a freedom afterward through the galleys that was
-pleasant to regard.
-
-“There are many things in Belgium,” said the master. “There are wines
-and gookeries there; also in Poland there are gooks. In England there
-are gooks, but not in Ameriga--only think-they-are-gooks. However,
-there are gooks in China. I have one, as you shall see.”
-
-Something like this at each mighty dining--and the promise had to do
-with the next course which Stackhouse invariably knew and served as
-a surprise for his guest, for he ordered his dinner with his coffee
-and fish in the morning. Bellair had often seen the Chinese emerge
-from the galley, as they came up from the dining saloon, little sparse
-patches of hair here and there on his fat face like willow clumps
-on the shore, these untouched by the razor, though his forehead was
-perfectly shaven to the queue circlet. This was Gookery John taking his
-breath after the moil and heat of the day.
-
-Stackhouse would declare that he dined just once a day, meaning this
-exactly. He breakfasted on a plate of fried fish with many pourings of
-mellow, golden and august German coffee, eating the hot fishes in his
-hands like crackers--a very warm and shiny hand when it was done--crisp
-brown fishes stripped somehow in his beard, the bones tossed overside.
-He liked full day with this meal. The plates were brought hot and
-covered to the great cane chair, until he called for them to cease. For
-his supper he desired outer darkness (English ale and apples, black
-bread from Rome that comes sewn in painted canvas like hams for the
-shipping, butter from Belgium packed with the care of costly cheeses,
-of which he was connoisseur; sauces of India, a cold chicken, perhaps,
-or terrapin, and an hour or two of nuts). The Japanese woman appeared
-at none of these services.
-
-It was the dinners, however, which bewildered Bellair most. He had
-not the heart utterly to condemn them, since the _Jade_ and the noble
-sea-air, sometimes winy and sometimes of sterile purity, kept him in
-that fine state of appreciation, which if he had ever known as a boy
-was utterly forgotten. He had initiation in curries and roasts, piquant
-relishes of seed and fish and flower, chowders, broiled fish and
-baked--until he felt the seas and continents serving their best, and
-learned about each in the characteristic telling of the man who lived
-for them. For instance when chicken was brought:
-
-“These are the birds for the Chinese to play with--yes, you would
-think me joking? It is not so. The little chicken-birds are kept for
-pets. They are not frightened to death. You do not know, berhaps,
-that fear and anger boisons the little birds? They are kept happy and
-killed quick--before they know. Many mornings they are fed from the
-hand and played with, until they love John of the gookeries--and one
-morning--so, like that--heads off--and no boison from the fear of death
-in our flavours. Many things you do not know--yes?”
-
-“Yes,” Bellair said.
-
-Stackhouse loved his little facts like these, all matters of
-preparation of fish and flesh and fowl; the intricate processes of
-fattening, curing, softening, corking and all the science of the
-stores.... “There was a certain goose which I found in Hakodate--not
-from the Japanese, but from a Chino there----”.... “And once upon a
-time in Mindanao, they baked a fish for me with heated stones in the
-ground. Wrapped in leaves, it was, and covered first in clay. You
-should see the scales and skin come off with the clay--and the inner
-barts a little ball, when it was finished. And the dining of that
-evening. Ah, the sharb eyes of the little nigger girls--you would
-believe?”.... Such were the stories in the long feeding--but the
-stories on deck were the stories of the death of men.
-
-In the usual mess the chat was perfunctory on Bellair’s part, since
-he granted that the preacher and the Faraway woman (he called her
-so in his thoughts from her distant-searching on deck) were so well
-adjusted to each other. He granted this, and much beside concerning
-the two, from pure fancy. Never once had they disregarded him, or
-engaged in conversation that would leave him dangling, though many
-times his own thoughts were apart. The _Jade_ had been three weeks out
-of Savannah, in the southern Caribbean, a superb mid-afternoon, when
-Bellair, turning at the rail, found Fleury at his side. He had just
-been wondering if he had better go below and read awhile by the open
-port, or start the monologue of Stackhouse for the rest of the day. The
-latter was enjoyable enough, but Bellair disliked to drink anything so
-early.... “One must be bolite.”
-
-It happened right for the first conversation with Fleury. He had never
-known a preacher whose talk touched the core of things. Preachers
-had always shown a softness of training on the actualities, and
-left Bellair sceptical of the rest. A minister had once told him:
-“What force for good we get to be in mid-life, is in spite of our
-ecclesiastical training, not because of it.” Bellair had often thought
-of that.
-
-Yet, he had given much secret thought to religious things, not counting
-himself a specialist, however, seldom opening the subject. Certainly
-at Lot & Company’s, no one had marked this proclivity. He had the idea
-that a man must come up through men, and through the real problems of
-men, if he would become a moving force for good in the world; that no
-training apart among texts and tracts and tenets would get him power.
-Very clearly he saw that a man must go apart to fix his ideals, but
-that he should seek his wilderness after learning the world, not after
-prolonged second-hand contacts with books.
-
-“The big job ahead is for some one who can show the human family that
-it’s all of a piece, and that we’re all out after the same thing,” he
-remarked.
-
-“A Unifier,” Fleury suggested.
-
-“Yes. Just so long as we have to hate one cult or sect, because we love
-another, we’re lost to the whole beauty of the scheme----”
-
-“I quite agree with you,” said the preacher.
-
-“What is your church?” Bellair asked.
-
-“Well, the fact is, I haven’t one,” Fleury said with a smile.
-“Convictions somewhat similar to that which you have expressed have
-twice cost me my church. As the church puts it, I am a failure and not
-to be trusted with regular work----”
-
-“You are going out in the mission-service?”
-
-Bellair was now ashamed, because he had held the other a bit cheaply.
-The boyish face looked suddenly different to him, as Fleury said:
-
-“No--that is, I have ceased to expound theology. I have come out to
-make the thought and the act one.”
-
-Bellair was taking on a new conception. His question was a trifle
-automatic:
-
-“Did you talk out in meeting?”
-
-“Yes. There were a thousand years in the congregation. You know what I
-mean--only a few of our generation in method of mind.”
-
-“A sort of Seventeenth century average?” Bellair suggested.
-
-“Don’t misunderstand me. I was wrong, too,” Fleury declared. “Wrong,
-in the young man’s way of thinking himself right. You know we’re just
-as baneful when we are getting into a new world of thought as when we
-are not yet out of the old. It’s only after we have settled down and
-got accustomed to the place, that we’re reasonable. A man should be big
-enough to talk to all men, and appear everlastingly true to the least
-and the greatest. Truth is big enough for that. I had only a different
-trail from theirs, and wanted them all to come to mine, forgetting that
-the trails are only far apart at the bottom of the mountain--that they
-all converge at the top----”
-
-“You had to be honest with yourself,” Bellair said thoughtfully.
-
-“That’s just what I thought, but maybe there was a lie in that,” Fleury
-answered. “It’s not so easy to be honest with one’s self and keep on
-using words for a living. The best way is to act----”
-
-“You’ve said something, Mr. Fleury.”
-
-And in his new respect for the other, Bellair wanted to make his view
-clearer. “It’s the old soil and seed story again,” he said. “It isn’t
-enough to get truth down to superb simplicity. The minds of men must
-be open beside. My objection to the Church is that it has separated
-religion from work and the week-day--tried to balance one day of
-sanctimoniousness against six days of mammon--taught men that heaven
-is to be reached in a high spiritual effusion because One has died for
-us. The fact is we’ve got to help ourselves to heaven.... Excuse me for
-being so communicative,” he added, “but what you said about putting
-down talk and taking up action interested me at once. I’ve a suspicion
-you won’t be long in finding something to do----”
-
-“I’m hoping just that.”
-
-Fleury smiled at him. The face was large and mild, not a fighter’s
-face nor a coward’s either.... The young woman appeared with the child.
-She seemed to hold it to the sun, and she walked with the beauty of a
-woman bringing a pitcher to the fountain. Bellair realised the heat of
-the day. Her face had an intense clearness, but was partly turned away.
-There was a delicacy about it that he had not known before. He recalled
-that she had just bowed to them.... They were passing an island
-shore--a line of sun-dazzle that stung the eyes, empty green hills and
-a fierce white sky. Bellair thought of the woman and the island as one
-... he, the third, coming home, mooring his boat, hastening up the
-trail at evening.... Her frail back, bending a little to the right,
-made him think of a dancer he had once seen. He saw the child’s bare
-limbs in the sun.... His steps were quickened up that Island trail
-again.... The _Jade_ seemed fainting in the cushions of hot wind. Just
-then a voice said:
-
-“She’s quite the most remarkable woman. She isn’t a talker.”
-
-He had forgotten Fleury.
-
-“Where is she going?”
-
-“Auckland. She came from there.”
-
-“Queer, she would go home this way----”
-
-“Her whole fortune is in her arms,” Fleury whispered.
-
-The ship’s bell struck twice; the cane-chair creaked; they turned by
-habit to note the appearance of the Japanese woman with drink. She did
-not fail. Stackhouse came to with a prolonged snore, a sound unlike a
-pair of pit-terriers at work.
-
-“A considerable brute,” muttered the preacher.
-
-“He has been much of a man in his way,” said Bellair.
-
-“He talks much--that is weakness.”
-
-Their eyes met. Bellair began to understand how deeply the other’s
-experience had bitten him.
-
-“He’s afraid of death,” Fleury added.
-
-“I wonder,” Bellair mused. “He talks always of death. He’s been in at
-the deaths of many men. He’ll die hard himself--if he doesn’t tame
-down.”
-
-Fleury added: “When a man is so much an animal, all his consciousness
-is in that. They see death as the end--that’s why they are afraid----”
-
-“I wonder if he is a coward?” Bellair questioned.
-
-“The stuff animals are made of cannot last,” the preacher concluded.
-
-Bellair pondered as he sat with Stackhouse that night. Brandy was the
-choice of the evening. The Japanese woman brought it from the deeps of
-the hold, where it had come in stone from Bruges. Bellair joined him a
-second and a third time for the instant stinging zest of the fire....
-Fleury and the woman had long stood together aft by the clicking log.
-The moon came late and bulbous. Stackhouse talked of his fortune, and
-the chaos in many island affairs his death would cause.... Once he had
-loved a chap named Belding, and would have left him great riches, but
-Belding was dead....
-
-
- 3
-
-They had crossed the Line. The night was windless hot--almost
-suffocating below. Bellair gave it up, a little after midnight, and
-went on deck, moving forward out of the smell of paint, for the heat
-had bubbled the lead on the cabin planking. A few first magnitude stars
-glinted in the fumy sky. The anchor chains and the big hook itself made
-a radiator not to be endured--better the smell of paint than that.
-Captain McArliss moved past with a cigar and suggested jerkily that a
-hammock was swung aft by the binnacle. Bellair thanked him and went
-there, but did not lie down. Close to the rail he could smell the deep
-and it refreshed him. Left alone in this hard-won ease, his thoughts
-turned back to New York.
-
-... It was like a ghost at the companionway--a faint grey luminosity.
-She came toward him without a sound, the child in her arms. Something
-of the strangeness prevented him speaking until she was near, and then
-he spoke softly in fear lest she be frightened:
-
-“It is I, Bellair----”
-
-If she were startled, she did not let him know. He offered the
-deckchair he had occupied, or the hammock, as she chose.
-
-“I would not have disturbed you,” she said.
-
-“I think it is cooler close to the rail,” he suggested. “The little one
-is very brave. Is he awake?”
-
-“Yes----”
-
-“I don’t know why I said ‘he,’--the fact is, I didn’t know,” he laughed.
-
-“You were right,” she answered, sitting down. “He seems to have so much
-to study and contemplate. It passes the time for him, and then he is
-very well and he likes the sea.”
-
-“He has been to sea before?”
-
-“Yes, we came up from Auckland on a steamer when he was _ver-ee_
-little, but he liked it, and did so well. It was harder for him in New
-York, although he didn’t complain----”
-
-Bellair laughed.
-
-“Now that I have taken your seat--won’t you get another?” she asked.
-“Or the hammock?”
-
-“If you don’t mind I should be very glad to get another chair----”
-
-Bellair found himself hurrying to the waist, for there was always a
-lesser seat by the great cane throne.... He could not see her face in
-that utter night, but sometimes when he had forgotten for a moment,
-there seemed the faintest grey haze about her face and shoulders, but
-never when he looked sharply; and the curve of her back as her body
-fitted to the child in her lap, hushed him queerly within, so that he
-listened to his own commonplace words, as one would hear the remarks of
-another.
-
-“Do you suppose he would come to me?” the man asked.
-
-“I think he would be very glad,” she said.
-
-Bellair took no risk, but placed his hand softly between the little
-ones. Something went out of him, leaving nothing but a queer, joyous
-vibration that held life together, with ample to spare to laugh with.
-The larger part of his identity seemed to be infused with the night,
-however. On one side of his hand, there was a warm, light seizure,
-rendering powerless his own little finger, and on the other side, his
-thumb was taken. He lifted his hand a little and the captor’s came with
-it--no waste of energy whatsoever, but with easy confidence of having
-enough and to spare. The man couldn’t breathe without laughing, but he
-was very quiet about it as the moment demanded, and his delight was
-nowise to be measured in recent history.
-
-He was bending forward close to the woman’s breast. Suddenly he
-remembered her--as if finding himself in a sanctuary.... The great
-pictures of the world had this _motif_, but the Third of the trinity
-was always invisible. Yet he had entered in this darkness, come right
-into the fragrance and the love-magnetism of it ... held there in two
-ineffable pressures.
-
-His low laughter ceased. He was full of wonder now, but could not stay.
-Out of the bewilderment of emotions he had the one sense--that he was
-not the third to this mystery--that the third must be invisible, as in
-the great _madonnas_ of paint. He betrayed the tiny grips with a twist,
-caught the child in his two hands and lifted him from the mother,
-sitting back in his own chair.... But the fragrance lingered about him
-and that wonderful homing vibration. He knew something of the nature of
-it now. It was peace.
-
-
- 4
-
-The little blue jacket had come forth again as they ran down into the
-cold.... There was wild weather around the Horn, and Stackhouse was a
-sick monster from confinement. Bellair, who could drink a little for
-company through the glorious nights on deck, bolted from the cabin
-performance, and Captain McArliss was called to listen, and fell, as
-Stackhouse knew he would, for he had said to Bellair during one of
-their last talks:
-
-“Lest there appear among men a perfect sailor, they handicapped my
-McArliss--packed his inner barts in unslaked lime. Never will you see
-a thirst fought as he fights it. First he will drink with me, and
-you will hear him laugh; then he will drink alone, and there will be
-silence until he begins to scream. Already his eyes are tortured and
-his lips white. Bresently he will come and sit with me----”
-
-Bellair hated this; in fact the big master had begun to wear deeply. “I
-should think you would want to keep him on his feet--for the passage
-around the Horn.”
-
-“My McArliss is always a sailor,” said Stackhouse, rocking his head.
-
-Bellair could credit that. McArliss interested him--an abrupt, nervous
-man, who covered the eager warmth of his friendliness in frosted
-mannerisms and sentences clipped at each end. He was afraid of himself
-except in his work, afraid of his opinions, though a great reader of
-the queer out of the way good things. Bellair found Woolman’s Life in
-his little library, with narratives of the ocean, tales of Blackbirders
-and famous Indiamen, Lytton’s “Strange Story” and “Zanoni,” also
-Hartmann’s “Magic, Black and White.” The latter he read, and found it
-not at all what he expected, but a book that would go with him as far
-as he cared at any angle, and then lose him. He was quite astonished.
-It was a long book, too--the kind you vow you will begin again, from
-time to time through the last half. He wanted to talk to McArliss about
-it, but the Captain was embarrassed.
-
-“Crazy, eh?” he would say with a queer, dry laugh.
-
-“I’ve stopped saying that about a book--because I don’t get it all,”
-Bellair remarked. “This man is right as far as I can go with him.”
-
-“You give him the benefit--eh? That’s pretty good.”
-
-“And you like it?”
-
-“Ha--it passes the time. Good God--we have to pass the time!”
-
-He spoke jerkily, always in this fashion, and the days brought no ease
-to the tension. McArliss patted his pockets, swore hastily over little
-things, looked snappily here and there. Bellair would have guessed,
-without the word from Stackhouse. The Captain was fighting hard. There
-seemed nothing to be done; the man had grown a spiked hedge around an
-innocent shyness; all that was real about him he kept shamefacedly to
-himself. Still Bellair believed more and more in his fine quality.
-McArliss made a picture for him of one who has come up through steam
-and returned to canvas bringing a finer appreciation to the beauty and
-possibilities of natural seamanship; as a man returns to the land,
-after many wearing years of city life, with a different and deeper
-instinct of the nature of the soil.
-
-“She’s a slashing sailer,” he would say critically, as he crowded the
-_Jade_. “She balances to a hair--eh? Good old girl--they don’t breed
-her kind any more.”
-
-It was he who balanced her to every wind, meeting all weathers with
-different cuts of cloth. Having only a distant familiarity with his
-fellow-officers and not even a speaking acquaintance with the crew,
-McArliss made her sing her racing song night and day down into the
-lower latitudes, until one played with the suspicion that he managed
-the weather, too,--with that same nervous, effective energy. It was
-all tremendously satisfying to Bellair. He had reacted on the last
-reaction, and was healed throughout. Worldliness was lost from his
-mental pictures of Bessie; daily she became more as he wanted her to
-be. Lot & Company had lost its upstanding and formidable black--was
-far-off now and dimly pitiable. He had not cared what was ahead; it
-had been the _Jade_ and the voyage that had called him, but now the
-Islands and all that watery universe of the Southern Pacific were
-in prospect, to explore and make his own. Perhaps men were younger
-there; trade less old and ramified; perhaps they would bring him the
-new magic of life--so that he could live with zest and be himself....
-Always at this part of the dream he would think of Bessie again. She
-was the cord not yet detached. Sooner or later, he must go back to
-her. At times he thought that he could not bear to remain very long;
-sometimes even watching this endless passage of days with strange
-concern.... But there was a short cut home--straight up the Pacific to
-San Francisco--and four days across....
-
-Fleury and the Faraway woman had their increasingly fine part in his
-life. The preacher was always finding some new star, or bidding adieu
-to some northern constellation.
-
-They had chosen the passage through the Straits because of the settled
-weather. At least, they called it fair-going--wild and rugged though
-it was, with huge masses of torn cloud, black or grey-black, hurtling
-past, often as low as the masthead, and all life managed at sick
-angles. The _Jade_ bowed often and met the screaming blasts with her
-poles strangely bare, except, perhaps, for a few feet of extra-heavy
-canvas straining at the mizzen weather-rig.... Stackhouse nudged him
-one night and a laugh gurgled up from his chest as he pointed forward
-where McArliss stood in the waist lighting a cigarette.
-
-“He will not sleep to-night. He will come to me--and you will never
-hear such talk as from this silent man. He will look for gompany
-to-night. One must be bolite.”
-
-It was true. McArliss apparently fell into the cigarettes first,
-or perhaps he had fallen deeper. Bellair did not join them in the
-cabin, but heard their voices. The next day McArliss hunted him up,
-an inconceivable action. This was not like timid Spring, but sudden
-redolent summer after the austerities. The man was on fire, but
-perfectly in hand. All that he had thought and kept to himself for
-months appeared to come forth now--books and men, the great oceans of
-spirit and matter, and the mysteries of life and release. It seemed as
-if his body and brain had suddenly become transparent. The Captain was
-happy and kind, without oath or scandal, full of colour and romance;
-returning with excellent measure all the good thoughts that Bellair had
-given to him, and showing forth for one rare forenoon the memorable
-fabric of a man.
-
-There was no repetition to his stages. In the afternoon he passed
-Bellair brusquely, and drank the night away with Stackhouse. The
-next day both face and figure had a new burden; the real man was now
-imprisoned more effectively than even his sobriety could accomplish....
-Then the descent day by day--the narrow, woman’s waist and the broad,
-lean shoulders becoming a hunched unit, face averted, hands thick.
-Bellair always felt that Stackhouse was in a way responsible--for the
-old Master had known what would come and lured it on. He had foretold
-each stage--even to the last of McArliss drinking alone.
-
-On two nights Fleury was with him while he met his devils. He had
-outraged Bellair at every offer and entrance. Even Stackhouse was
-surprised that the preacher was permitted to attend. His poor vitality
-at length began to crawl back into his body with terrible pain and
-shattered sanity--that old familiar battle, the last of many storms.
-And now the _Jade_ was sailing up into the summer of the southern
-ocean. Midwinter in New York and here a strange, spacious sort of
-June, not without loneliness and wonderment to Bellair for the steady
-brightness and exceeding length of day.
-
-The new moon had come down, extraordinary in its earth-shine which
-Fleury explained. The _Jade_ was marking time, just making steerage
-headway, the breeze too light for good breathing.... To-night (as
-had happened a dozen times before on the other side of South America
-before the cold weather) Stackhouse had begun his story with, “It was
-a night like this----” As of old it was the tale of man and death, of
-the Stackhouse escape from death, sinuously impressing the Stackhouse
-courage and cleverness. Not that the story was without art; indeed,
-as usual, it was such a one as a man seldom leaves until the end; but
-Bellair had long since reached the moment of sufficiency. He had come
-to the end of his favourite author; had begun to see the mechanism and
-inventional methods of the workmanship. Vim was lost for the enactment
-of Stackhouse’s fiercer strength. The man was a concentrated fume of
-spirit, every tissue falsely braced, his very life identified with the
-life and heat of decay....
-
-Alone, Bellair glanced about before going below. A breeze had slightly
-quickened the ship in the last hour. There may have been a dozen
-nights of equal mystery but this he appreciated more soundly and
-was grateful for freedom. His mind answered the beauty of it all
-... something of this, he might be able to tell Bessie in a letter.
-The stars were far and tender; the air heavenly cool and soft, the
-night high, and the ship’s full white above, had something to do with
-angels--a dreamy spirit-haunt about it all. He would always see the
-_Jade_ so, as he would see the Captain in that wonderful forenoon of
-his emancipation--poor McArliss who had not been on deck for days.
-
-Twenty minutes later, with paper before him in his berth, Bellair was
-deep in the interpretation of his heart, when the _Jade_ struck the
-cupola of a coral castle, and hung there shivering for five seconds. It
-was like a suspension of the law of time.
-
-Bellair thought of Bessie, of every one on the ship, beginning with
-Fleury and the New Zealand woman, and ending with Captain McArliss and
-the owner’s Japanese wife. These latter two were strangely rolled into
-one, as their images came. He thought of the ship’s position somewhere
-in the great emptiness between the Strait of Magellan and Polynesia. He
-re-read the last line of the letter before him. It had to do with the
-real help he hoped to be in Bessie’s cause _within the year_. He heard
-the running and the hard-held voices on deck, and one great bellowing
-cry from Stackhouse. He knew now that all the tales were the low
-furies of fear; that the movement he had seen first in the eyes of the
-great animal were the movements of fear....
-
-And then the _Jade_ slid off the reef with a rip more tragic than the
-strike.
-
-
- 5
-
-Hissing and sucking began below, and the drawing of the centre of the
-earth. Bellair felt this in his limbs, and the limp paralysis of the
-sails. It was like the blind struggle in the soul of a bird, this
-strain in the entity of the old _Jade_ to retain her balance between
-earth and sky.... Bellair was on his knees dragging forth his unused
-case. The roll of New York papers came with it, and he stuffed them
-in overcoat pockets with a six-shooter, a bottle of whiskey and a
-few smaller things. These arrangements were made altogether without
-thought. Unfumblingly, he obeyed a rush of absurdities that seemed
-obvious and reasonable as in a dream.
-
-The touch of water on his knee as he arose was like a burn. It poured
-in under the door, its stream the size of a pencil, a swift and quiet
-little emissary. It occurred--a queer, rational touch--that the _Jade_
-could not be thus filled so soon, that something must have overturned.
-He opened the door to the deck. Night and ocean were all one; the rest
-was the stars, and this bit of chaos recoiling from its death--a
-little ship, struck from the deep and perceiving her death like a rat
-that has been struck by a rattler. He smelled the sea, as one in a
-night-walk smells the earth when passing a ravine.
-
-He moved aft toward the voices, without yet having thought of his own
-death. He passed a leaking water-cask, and this reminded him of his
-thirst. He took a deep drink--all he could--and his thoughts came
-up to the moment. At the same time, that which had been a mass of
-inarticulate sounds cleared into a more or less coherent intensity of
-action.
-
-He heard that the _Jade_ was sinking, but knew that already; heard
-that she would be under in five minutes, which was news of the first
-order of sensation.... Now he heard Stackhouse again; the rich unctuous
-voice gone, a sharp, dry _peaking_ instead.... They were aft at the
-binnacle--Stackhouse, Fleury, the Faraway Woman, McArliss. The Japanese
-woman was hurrying forward with a pitcher of wine. Stackhouse drank
-from the pitcher, standing, and with greed that flooded his chest. He
-spoke and the Japanese woman vanished.
-
-Bellair saw the face of McArliss in the white ray from the binnacle.
-He had scarcely seen the Captain for a week. Last seen, it was a face
-swollen and flaming red. It was yellow now, like the skin of a chicken,
-and feathered with patches of white beard. The loose eye-lids were
-touched with blue. He fumbled with a cigarette, and called hysterically
-to an officer amidships. He was not broken from the tragedy, but from
-the debauch.
-
-Stackhouse was standing by the small boat when two sailors came to
-launch it. He rocked from one foot to another and peaked to them
-incessantly. Fleury and the woman stepped nearer the boat. They moved
-together as one person.... Bellair saw Stackhouse raise his hands as he
-had done that first Sunday, pushing Brooklyn from him. His body pressed
-against the gunwale of the small boat; he caught it in his hands, as it
-raised clear, his ridiculous ankles alternately lifting.
-
-His Chinese cook rushed forward with cans of crackers, and dumped them
-in the boat. The Japanese woman appeared dragging a huge hamper of
-wines and liquors. Stackhouse took the hamper between his legs and sent
-her back to his cabin. The boat was lowered just below the level of the
-_Jade’s_ gunwale. Stackhouse sprawled forward, the hairy masses of his
-legs writhing after. Presently he reversed, and began to reach for the
-hamper. Fleury kicked it out of reach, and lifted the woman and child
-in.
-
-“Get water,” he said to Bellair. “I’ll save a place for you.”
-
-Bellair tossed his overcoat into the boat and darted to the galley,
-where he found cans. Filling them seemed a process interminable, until
-he pulled over the half-filled cask.... Stackhouse was screaming for
-his hamper. The Japanese woman sped by with more bottles. She tried
-to put them in the boat, but Fleury took them from her, and attempted
-to force her into a place, but she had heard a final command from her
-lord and broke away.... Bellair was filling his cans a second time....
-Stackhouse, who had risen insanely, was rocked back either by word or
-blow from Fleury. The small boat was on the sea, and the _Jade’s_ rail
-leaned low to it. The sea was roaring into the mother-boat; she would
-flurry in an instant.
-
-“Yes, water, Bellair,” said Fleury. “But don’t go back.”
-
-“One more trip,” said Bellair.
-
-He filled the last can--his mind holding the image of Stackhouse
-on his knees praying to Fleury for his hamper. Beseechings back in
-the dark accentuated the picture. Fleury was calling for him.... He
-passed the Japanese woman, sobbing and _skuffing_ pitifully back to
-the cabin; as a child sent repeatedly for something hard to find. He
-heard the launching of the other and larger boat forward; saw at the
-binnacle McArliss still fumbling for a match. Then Fleury grasped him
-and his can.... No, it was the woman’s hand that saved the can from
-overturning. Bellair would have waited for the Japanese woman, but the
-_Jade_ dipped half-over and slid him into the boat.
-
-The mother-ship shuddered. The Japanese woman passed the binnacle,
-holding something high in her hand. She was on her knees.... There was
-a flare and the face of McArliss--who had struck his match at last....
-The _Jade_ seemed to go from them--a sheet of grey obscured the rail.
-The two who remained were netted there together, the red point of the
-cigarette flickered out.... The two boats were on the sea; the night, a
-serenity of starlight.... The sound of slobbering turned their eyes to
-Stackhouse, who was drinking from one of the large cans.... Fleury went
-to him, pressed the face from it, and placed the cans forward at the
-feet of the woman. His hand was sticky afterward, as if with blood, and
-he held it overside.
-
-
-
-
-PART FOUR
-
-THE OPEN BOAT
-
-
- 1
-
-BELLAIR was athirst. The fact that he had taken a deep drink less than
-a half-hour before, did not prevail altogether against it. In the very
-presence of Stackhouse there was a psychological intensity of thirst.
-The master sat hunched and obscene in the stern of the boat, patting
-the wet folds of his shirt--a pure desire-body, afraid of death, afraid
-of thirst, afraid of the fear of thirst and death. Picturesqueness and
-personality were gone from him; romance and the strange culture of the
-man, for the eyes of Bellair; the old wonder, too, which the seas and
-the islands of the seas had given him. Bellair could not forget the
-ankles, the moving of those bare masses up and down, as Stackhouse
-had clung at the same time to the small boat and the gunwale of the
-_Jade_. What a poison to past tales--this present passion and method of
-self-salvation. He was less than a beast, in retaining the effigy of a
-man.
-
-Bellair turned to Fleury. Like swift pleasant rays in the dark, the
-last scenes of the main-deck recurred. Again he marvelled at the
-falsity of his first judgments, by which he had formerly set so much,
-and so complacently. It had seemed a fat face to him at first, a face
-out of true with the world, the face of an easy man who placates things
-as they are, because he was not trained to see the evil of them and
-give them fight. All that was remembered with difficulty, even for this
-moment of contrast. It would not come again. Fleury had stood up in
-the crisis, a man to tie to. He would never be the same again in look
-or action or intonation; as Stackhouse could never be the same. Fleury
-had risen and put on a princely dimension; the other had lost even that
-uncertain admirableness of gross animalism.
-
-The preacher was leaning forward toward the knees of the woman, talking
-to the babe. Bellair imagined its eyes wide-open and sober; certainly
-it was still. The mother’s face was partly turned away. Fleury said:
-
-“He is having his adventures. He will be a great man. He will have the
-world at his finger-tips, when he is as old as we are--and then his
-real work will begin. For when we know enough of the world, we turn to
-God.”
-
-The note of the preacher in this did not embarrass Bellair, as it
-would have done before the _Jade’s_ sinking.
-
-“He will be a great power,” Fleury went on, for the heart of the
-mother. “These things which for him pass unconsciously, will form him
-nevertheless. They will do their work within; and when he is grown he
-will know what to do and say.”
-
-“How do you know?” the mother asked.
-
-“Chiefly because I believe in you,” he answered.
-
-“I want him to live,” she said.
-
-“We want that, too,” said Fleury.
-
-Bellair felt himself nodding in the dark.
-
-“If he is to be a great man, he will have to live through his first--at
-least, through this adventure.”
-
-The meaning came very pure to Bellair. It had to do with crackers and
-water for the nourishment of the child. So strong and sure was her own
-fortitude that she did not need to say she was thinking only of food
-and drink for him. It meant to Bellair, “If I cannot nurse him, he will
-die.”
-
-He regarded the length and beam of the small boat. It was not more
-than eighteen feet long--and only the Polar seas could be emptier than
-this vast southern ocean. The nights would be more easily endured, but
-the days, one long burning. Still it would not be torrid heat; they
-were too far south for that. The thought of storm, he kept in the
-background of his mind. They all did. Roughly estimated, there was
-food and water enough for them to live without great agony for a week,
-possibly for a day or two over, but Stackhouse was not a part of this
-consideration. He could not live a week without an abnormal consumption
-of water....
-
-Fleury was talking about the stars. They would see Venus before dawn,
-he said; the great one in their meridian now was Jupiter. “If we had a
-marine-glass, we would be able to see his moons.... That,” he pointed
-to the brightest of the fixed stars, a splendid yellow gleam in the
-east, “that is Canopus, never seen north of the Gulf States at Home.
-It’s so mighty that our little earth would turn molten in ten seconds
-if it came as near as our sun.”
-
-Bellair leaned toward him listening. The preacher pointed out the
-Southern Cross, and Alpha Centauri, almost the nearest of the sun’s
-neighbours.
-
-Their thoughts groped naturally to such things. In the full realisation
-of their helplessness, they looked up. The background was a deep
-fleckless purple. Bellair hadn’t known the great stars of the northern
-skies, much less these splendid strangers. The brimming closeness
-of the dark sea harrowed the landsman’s heart of him; and there was
-something as great or greater than the actual terror of ultimate
-submerging. It was the fear of the fear; the same that causes men
-to leap from high places through the very horror of the thought of
-leaping. The water lapped the clinkered sides of the small boat. He
-touched it. His flesh took from the coolness something that numbed the
-pervading alarm; a message which the wet hand sensed, but the brain
-could not interpret. The presence of the others forward sustained him;
-Stackhouse in the stern was the downpull; thus Bellair was in the
-balance.
-
-It was yet far from dawn; certainly no lighter, but Bellair could see
-better. The woman was looking away. He knew that he would see her so,
-until the last day of her life--that profile of serene control, that
-calm, far-seeing gaze.... What gave her this quiet power?... Already
-the thoughts of the three were intimate matters to all. It seemed very
-natural now to ask Fleury what gave the woman such strength.
-
-“It’s the sense that all is well, in spite of this physical
-estrangement from the world,” the preacher said. “Bellair, it’s the
-sense that nothing matters but the soul. It’s not belief; it’s knowing.
-She has lost the sense of self. _She is through talking._ It is
-finished with her. We talk, because it is not finished in us--but it is
-being accomplished. We talk because we want that peace; when it comes
-we will not talk, but live it. It is exactly opposite to _desire_; you
-can see that----”
-
-Yes, Bellair could see that. He had but to turn back in his seat to
-confront Stackhouse wringing his heavy twitching hands and begging for
-water, begging like a leper, now that a face turned to him--the most
-frightful picture of the work of desire and the fear of desire, that
-the world or the underworld could furnish. Less than two hours before
-he had drunk a quart and wasted a pint in his greed; and behind Bellair
-was the silent woman and Fleury, thinking of others, full of the good
-of the world.... In the worldliness that came to him from Stackhouse,
-the intimacy of the matter they had just talked about seemed startling.
-
-“One can’t help but notice what _you get from somewhere_--and what the
-woman has,” Bellair added.
-
- * * * * *
-
-They were in the grey mystery of dawn--alone, for they had drifted, and
-the sailors in the other boat had begun to row at once. Stackhouse was
-lifted a little, brought nearer, possibly by the tension, which they
-all came to know so well--the tension of that grey hour, before the day
-reveals the sea.
-
-“It was my ship,” he whimpered. “It was my hamber--McArliss was mine
-and the service----”
-
-“You’d have had them all yet, but you amused yourself watching poor
-McArliss fall into the drink. You would have had it all--just the same
-this morning--for he would never have hit the reef on duty----”
-
-It was Bellair who spoke, and the thing had suddenly appeared very
-clear to him. Stackhouse did not falter from the present, his huge head
-darting east and west to stare through the whitening film.
-
-“It was my hamber. There is room here at my feet. It was little, yet
-meant so much. I should not have troubled you----”
-
-The lack of it seemed suddenly to hurt him even more poignantly.
-
-“You will all go to hell with your talk of beace,” he declared, looking
-between them but at no pair of eyes. “I will go first, what with the
-drink dying out, but you will not be long. There is hell for me, but
-for all alike. You may live days--but the longer, the more hell. And
-you will all come at last--to the long deep drink of the brine----”
-
-“Oh, come now, Stackhouse,” said Bellair. “It may not turn out so
-badly. You’ve had luck before. You’ve talked much to me of luck--and
-deaths of others. If it’s your turn--face it as your innumerable
-friends faced it.”
-
-The man was undone before them. The flesh of his jaws stood out, as if
-pulled by invisible fingers. His heavy lips rubbed together, so that
-they turned from the sight of them.
-
-“There was room in the boat for that basket of rum,” he called out
-insanely. “It was all to me. There is no talk of God for me--rum was
-all I had!... I would have been so quiet. It would have been here at my
-feet, but for that fool who talks of God, and can never know the thirst
-of men.”
-
-Fleury turned to him, his face deeply troubled. It occurred to Bellair
-that there was something to what Stackhouse said. Fleury, in kicking
-back the hamper, had kept the devil of Stackhouse from entering the
-boat, and Stackhouse served no other.... More and more it was twisting
-his brain, as young alligators twist at a carcass.
-
-“I would have had it here between my knees. And I would have had the
-little bottle from the cabin--the last that boots you to sleep----”
-
-“And so that is what you sent her back for--sent her to her death----”
-
-“You lie. She was held here--trying to get the hamber to me. There
-would have been time. She would have gone and come. She would have been
-here now----”
-
-Bellair and Fleury glanced at each other.
-
-“I am rotted with drink--and will drink the brine first, but you
-will follow me. You will bring it up with your hands and drink--and
-drink----”
-
-He was looking at Fleury now. The intensity of thirst in the spectacle
-of him--the presence of that vast galvanism of thirst--was like a
-burning sun in their throats. The baby cried, and the mother drew him
-shudderingly to her breast. Fleury swallowed hard, his face haggard
-and drawn in the daybreak. He went over and took his seat before the
-monster. Bellair was tempted to ask him to be easy, but there was no
-need. Fleury turned and drew a cup of water and handed it to the other.
-Bellair’s jaws ached cruelly from the drain of empty glands.
-
-“We should pity you, Stackhouse,” he said, “but we are not facing
-death now. You fill the boat with thirst--you fill the sea--with your
-thinking drink and talking drink--until you bring a cry of thirst
-to the little child. It’s as if we had gone sixty hours--instead of
-six----”
-
-He talked on for the sake of the woman. Stackhouse drank and grew
-silent. Bellair felt better and braver--even though the full light
-revealed nothing but empty sea and heavenly sky.
-
-
- 2
-
-Bellair surveyed his world as the dawn came up.... Thirst and
-fasting; possibly, the end.... The peculiar part of his open boat
-contemplations, no two were alike. Physical denial hurried him from one
-plane to another from which he regarded his world--his two worlds, for
-Stackhouse behind was one, and his friends forward, another; the one
-drawing his love, courage and finest ideals; the other, repression
-of self, lest he wear himself out in hatred. They were not talkers in
-front. He had not seen quite the entire fulfilment of Fleury’s meaning
-about talking until late moments. The Faraway Woman invariably said
-little; the child was the silentest of all; Fleury had met this demon
-and put it away. Stackhouse had talked and talked, and to the pictures
-he made with words, he belonged not at all, but to unspeakable things.
-Bellair remembered his own talk to Filbrick. It made him writhe. He had
-become crossed and complicated and ineffective that day. He had not
-talked in the straight line of heart and brain. He saw that a man who
-talks that which he is not, is less than nothing, as Stackhouse was
-less than nothing.
-
-“How far are we from anywhere, Bellair?” Fleury asked.
-
-“We weren’t supposed to strike land before Chatham or Bounty
-Island--two days’ sail this side of New Zealand, as I understand it.
-We lost land six--a week ago to-day--_Madre de Dios_, McArliss called
-it--off the west Coast of South America. With good wind McArliss
-planned to sight the Islands off New Zealand in three weeks. We had
-a week’s good sailing until yesterday--so we are a fortnight, as the
-_Jade_ reckoned, from--_your home_.”
-
-Bellair turned to the woman. She did not speak.
-
-“Do you suppose we struck coral?” Fleury asked.
-
-The subject seemed very hopeless. “I saw the charts in McArliss’ cabin.
-No reefs were charted according to our passage. We may have been
-off our course. But I do not understand. The mate took our bearings
-yesterday noon. I do not know what he reported to the Captain----”
-
-“It may have been a sunken wreck that we struck,” said Fleury.
-
-Bellair had thought of that. He turned to Stackhouse, who might have
-had something to say, but the other stared at them balefully--at their
-faces, not meeting their eyes. Either he had not followed their words,
-or chose to take no part.
-
-“If we are in the course of any ships at all, it would be of one
-passing our route, from the Horn to the Islands,” Fleury added. “I
-doubt if it would do us any good to row. We must not tax our strength.
-If we are off our course, we cannot tell whether it is to the north or
-south, so nothing is positively to be gained. It’s a question of hands
-up. The other boat set out for somewhere at once. If they find ship
-they will tell the story----”
-
-It appeared a useless recounting of obvious things. Bellair had thought
-this out bit by bit several times without finding the least substance
-to tie to. Fleury’s addition merely accentuated the bleakness of their
-position.
-
-“Still,” the preacher added, “if there is nothing for us to do in the
-way of struggle--the rest is simplified. We may be thoroughly tested,
-but I feel a strange confidence of our ultimate delivery. I thought of
-it before we had parted from the _Jade_. It came to me again in the
-night. I believe it now. We do not belong to the deep--not all of us.”
-
-Bellair wondered at the strength which came from this. He placed his
-trust upon this man, as one having familiarity with a source which he
-personally did not draw from. The preacher’s words were designed to
-cheer the woman, but he could not let them pass as merely for that.
-Fleury had a conviction, or he would not have spoken so.
-
-The air grew cooler during the long closing of that first day.
-Bellair thought of his overcoat which lay in a roll under the narrow
-planking forward where the woman sat. The bundle of New York papers
-dropped out, as he drew the garment forth. He opened one of the papers
-laughingly.... The headlines were like voices from another world. The
-abyss between the real and the unreal yawned before his eyes now in
-the open boat. New York seemed to be fighting in prints for things so
-little and unavailing. So little ago, he, Bellair, had moved among
-them, as among things that counted. Now what was real was the woman’s
-courage and the substance of Fleury’s faith, and the hope that came
-from the immensity. The deep contrasts of life held Bellair.
-
-As the message of the press came up to his eyes, he sunk into queer
-apathy, believed himself dreaming when he read his own name. He was not
-startled; even that was not his, but an invention like the clicking
-of a watch, which marks off an illusion of the illusion time.... An
-afternoon paper, dated the second day after his departure from New
-York; a brief statement of his departure with certain funds of Lot
-& Company; one item of a thousand dollars, several others suspected
-missing.... There was a follow story in the next day’s issue: Bellair
-as yet unfound, was believed to have gone to the Cobalt; Bessie Brealt,
-a professional singer, had passed an hour or two with the missing man
-on the eve of his flight. He had spent money recklessly.... This was
-all.
-
-He dumped the papers overside, and was sorry afterward; still, there
-was not physical energy in him to explain, nor comprehension in the
-other two for such details. Lot & Company had sacrificed him to ward
-off disclosures he might make. Possibly Attorney Jackson had suggested
-the step. It was very clear. Even if the station-porter had not mailed
-his letter, they would have found his order of release in the safe. It
-was a part of the other world--proper business from Lot & Company’s
-point of view. He was marked a thief in his small circle. He seemed
-to see the face of the boarding-house woman as she heard the news.
-She would search her house.... And Bessie Brealt.... The tempter,
-notoriety, was responsible for her small, mean part. It wasn’t an
-accident. She must have looked at his card and told, for the reporters
-would not have come to her.... It began to hurt him, mainly because of
-the thoughts and dreams of helping her, which had come to him since,
-especially here in the open boat. She had fallen into one of the little
-tricks of New York--to break into print at any cost. There wasn’t much
-reality in the rest, nor much chance of his needing New York again.
-
- * * * * *
-
-... Three and a child in a small boat. The pale moon-crescent, her
-bow to the sinking sun, appeared higher in the west. What a cosmic
-intervention--since last night when he had seen her first arc and the
-earth-shine from the deck of the _Jade_! And what a supper he had gone
-down to afterward! There was wrench in that--an age since then.... No
-one had spoken for a long time. Bellair wondered if the man and woman
-thought of food as he did.
-
-Three and a child in the empty sea, and the great suns of night were
-coming forth in the deepening dusk. They were strangers, but more
-real than the sea. This was not like the earth at all; and yet the
-_Jade_ had been of the earth. Her fabric had contained the bond that
-held from port to port. Stars and sea--one more real than the other,
-and different, too, for there was horror in looking down, but hope in
-looking up. Something in his breast answered the universality--but
-quailed before the deep.
-
-... Just now Bellair, lifting his overcoat to draw it closer around
-him, sensed its unaccustomed weight on the left. His hand sped thither,
-touched the full bottle of Bourbon whiskey purchased in Savannah. His
-hand remained with it a moment. A shudder passed through the small boat
-from Stackhouse, who had come to from another hideous sleep.
-
-
- 3
-
-Bellair stared into the sea. No one had spoken for many minutes. It was
-close to noon. Though all that had to do with memory since the sinking
-of the _Jade_ was treacherous, according to his recounting, it was but
-the second day; that is, the mother-ship had gone down in the heart of
-night before last.... Bellair had given away to temptation, when he let
-his eyes sink into the depths. He had fought it for hours, and knew
-that nothing good would come of it, but there was so much to fight, he
-had not the further strength for this.
-
-The sea was calm on the surface, but there appeared a movement below,
-so vast and unhurried, that it was like some planetary function.
-There seemed a draw of the depths southward, an under-movement toward
-the Pole. At times a cloud of purple would rise from far beneath and
-shut off his peering, like the movement of blueing in a laundry-tub
-before it is well-diffused. It came to him that this was but a denser
-cloud-land--an ocean of condensed clouds, moved not by winds alone,
-but the stirring of the earth’s mysterious inner attractions, which
-in their turn were determined by the sun and moon and stars. It was
-all orderly, but he, Bellair, was out of order. And such a little
-thing--a quart of cool water, and any one of the thousands of meals he
-had thoughtlessly, gratelessly bought and paid for--thousands consumed
-with a book at hand, or a paper to keep his mind off the perfunctory
-routine of feeding himself. Hundreds of meals he had taken, because
-it was the hour, and a cigar was more pleasurable afterward; meals in
-his room--paper packages of food, pails of ice, chilled bottles with
-a mist forming on them; saloon lunches, plates of colored sausages,
-creamy-rose slices of ham, tailored radishes and herring pickled in
-onions.... There was not a fish in the sea, not a movement but the
-blueing, and that slide of the under-ocean river to the Pole.
-
-Yet there _was_ something in there--an end to this disorder. It would
-take all he had left--the good air. It was like a knife or a gun or a
-poison-pill.... The movement below was so strong that it would grip
-him, shut him from the air, and leave him slithering along toward the
-Pole, sometimes sinking sideways, and then rising, forever seeking his
-balance ... not forever. He pictured himself in a school of herring,
-thousands of bright lidless eyes, thousands of bubbles, like eyes, from
-their mouths opening and shutting--he slithering sideways--his hands
-moving in the tugs and pressures. They would cease to dart from his
-movements, understanding them as the ground-birds know the wind in the
-grass. Lips and eye-lids and nostrils--they would have food. Food was
-the great event of the day to all things--except men. Men ate by the
-clock, ate to smoke, ate to soften the hearts of women ... yet after
-all food was food.... Or one big fish.... Or two fighting for him....
-Or one finding him lying still, a slow fanning of fins against the
-purple pressures, watching to be sure--then the strike.... Once he had
-examined a minnow after the strike of a bass.... Where would _he_ be
-in that strike--or in that herring school-room--not that slithering
-sideways thing--but _he_? Would he be watching humorously, or back
-in the cage with Mr. Sproxley, or in Bessie’s bedroom? Was it all a
-myth about that other _he_? It seemed a myth with his stomach sinking,
-tightening like a dripping rag between a pair of mighty elbows. In the
-centre of the rag was a compressed cork, and in the cork, a screw was
-twisting.
-
-Cork--that made him think of the whiskey. He turned from the water
-to the coat under the seat, his eyes blinking. His bare foot moved
-painfully to the coat and along the breast to the pocket, to the hard
-hump of the bottle.
-
-His eyes suddenly filled with the figure of Stackhouse, whose attitudes
-were an endless series of death tableaus, as his stories had also
-pictured. His face had broken out into more beard, his eyes glazed,
-body shapeless, like clothing stuffed with hair. His hands held the
-primal significance of birth and death. They lay upon his limbs, the
-thumbs drawn into the palms, the first and little fingers of each
-pointing straight down. Bellair thought of how death contracts the
-thumb, and how infants come with their thumbs in-drawn.
-
-Also his mind was played upon by two distinct series of
-emotions--Stackhouse representing one set; Fleury and the Faraway Woman
-signifying the other. He swung from power to power. Then his concern
-and fascination for Stackhouse changed from loathing and the visible
-tragedy, to a queer passage of conjecture regarding the worldwide
-processes which had nourished that huge body to its fall. In fact,
-Bellair’s favourite restaurants returned to mind like a pageant;
-the little inns on the Sound that he used to go summer Saturday
-afternoons; the one place in Staten where there were corn-cakes and
-a view of the shipping; the myriad eating and drinking places of New
-York; and from them all, one shop of chop and chicken-broils where the
-miracles were done on wood-embers, so that even the smoke that filled
-the place was seasoned nutriment.
-
-“They certainly knew how to buy,” he muttered aloud.
-
-It was a kind of moan, and he added quickly: “I beg your pardon.”
-
-Fleury and the woman regarded him with silent kindness.
-
-“I was just thinking of a man I knew--a buyer of canned goods,” he
-explained hastily. “The bargains in canned-goods he had a way of
-pulling off! There wasn’t a man in New York who could bring in lines of
-stuff at the figure he copped--a little runt of a man named Blath, who
-knew his business----”
-
-Fleury leaned back as if reaching for support, his quiet smile not a
-little tender. His two browned hands came forward to Bellair’s knees,
-and he said with a devoted smile:
-
-“I’ll not forget that in a hurry.... Blath, you say his name was?”
-
-Bellair knew well that he had not kept his mental pictures from
-Fleury’s mind. His entire consciousness had been in steam and woodsmoke
-having to do with broiling meat. The three were worn thin, worn to
-fine receptivity, and caught one-another’s thought without effort of
-many words.... Though he did not turn, a shock of pity came to him now
-for the master. He had meant to save the opening of the whiskey for the
-next dawn, vaguely thinking that if they should find the sea empty once
-more, there would be that false strength to fall back upon. Stackhouse
-could not live more than a day or two longer. He was torn by devils,
-his only surcease being the snap of consciousness from time to time.
-The whiskey had been upon Bellair’s mind like a curse. He wanted its
-force for himself, but never really meant to use it, had not even given
-the temptation leeway. His lot was cast with the forward forces; they
-would not have touched the contents of his bottle. This did not change
-the desire, however.
-
-
- 4
-
-The third day. Bellair was light-headed from the scarcity of crackers.
-Yesterday had been a mingled thirst and hunger day, but this was
-characterised by hunger incessant. To-morrow he anticipated with dread
-another thirst horror, and after that, no hunger at all, but mighty
-agony that knew but the one word, _Water_. The keen airs of night and
-morning, and the sterilised burning of the noons, constantly fanned
-and stimulated the natural demands of the body.... He had forgotten
-the newspapers. Bessie’s face came before him--something of her deep
-heart-touching tones which changed him.
-
-“There must be a great woman there--a great fine woman--like this one.”
-
-He did not turn. It may have been the first concession from his
-every-day faculties of this woman’s actual beauty. He had already
-granted this deeper within, where the understandings of men are wiser,
-but harder to get at. Certain hours had shown him the clear quality
-of saints and martyrs; and he had seen in pure life-equation that the
-child was worth his life or Fleury’s. He would have given his, as most
-white men would, but it was different to see the value and rightness of
-it....
-
-There was now an unspeakable need in the stern. He drew the bottle from
-the overcoat-pocket at his feet, without turning. Fleury and the woman
-watched him. He cut the small wires with his knife, tore off the wafer,
-half-expectant of some sound from behind.... The day was ending. The
-young moon newly visible in the dusk began its curve into the west from
-a higher point in the sky....
-
-There was a screw in Bellair’s knife. It sank noiselessly into the
-cork, but the first creak of the stopper against the glass brought the
-jolt. They all felt it--as if the great body had fallen from a dream.
-
-Stackhouse was staring at the thing in Bellair’s hands, his tongue
-visible, his face filling with light. He rubbed his eyes, the
-beginnings of articulation deep in his throat. He was trying to make
-himself believe it was not a vision. That harrowed them. A pirate would
-have pitied him--reptile desire imaged not in the face alone, but in
-the hands and all. Bellair poured a big drink in a tin-cup. Fleury
-passed him a gill of water. Stackhouse drained the cup with a cry.
-
-Something earth-bound slowly left his face. In contrast it grew mild
-and reckonable; but within an hour he was wild with pain, and dangerous
-for night was falling. In the light of the moon there was treachery.
-Bellair and Fleury sat together in the centre. The other’s bulk was
-great and the boat small. In becoming custodian of a bottle of whiskey,
-Bellair now required help. He wished it in the sea, but there was a
-pang of cruelty about that. The new force that animated Stackhouse
-had to be reckoned with. It was both cunning and destructive. There
-was no murder in their hearts.... Stackhouse drew his feet under him,
-helping them with his hands; his eyeballs turned upward from the agony
-of cramps in his limbs; then he sank forward on his knees. The craft of
-desire had turned from fighting to speech. The moon was grey upon his
-breast and gleamed from his eyes.
-
-“You will listen to a man who is dying. Yes, Bellair, you will
-listen--who listened to me so much.... Give me drink, so I can talk----”
-
-“It may save you--but not if you take it all at once.”
-
-The creature winced, but his passion moved to its appointed ends. He
-drew forth the large brown wallet they had often seen; rubbed it in his
-hands, until his fingers could feel; then opened the leather band. From
-one receptacle he lifted a thick package of bank-notes.
-
-“I liked you, Bellair--almost as I liked one Belding. I could have done
-much for you. I hate _that_ man, for he has made my death hard----”
-
-His face turned toward Fleury, but did not meet the preacher’s eyes.
-
-“The _Jade_ brought a sweet cargo to Ameriga, and Stackhouse does
-not bank in New York.... Bellair, I want to drink--so the talk will
-come----”
-
-So absurd was the sound of cargo and banking that Bellair thought his
-mind had wandered again, yet he said:
-
-“You are better. You cannot drink each hour. If this is to help you,
-you must be sane.”
-
-“I have something to say of imbortance--you will help me, Bellair. It
-is for you.”
-
-The faces of Fleury and the mother gave him no help. They were kind,
-but the thing seemed beneath them, as if they were waiting for him to
-come back from it.
-
-“You have stood by that man, and not by me,” Stackhouse said hoarsely.
-“So that I meant to toss this in the sea at the last--this and all the
-papers----”
-
-He lifted the bank-notes and showed him the collection of
-separately-banded documents.
-
-“I am a rich man, and I have no heir. I had thought of you, but you
-turned away from me and did not continue to listen. You went to him
-of the breachings--but you have now what is needful for me and I will
-bay. I have no heir. I said that before. I dell you now. A dying man
-does not lie. There are papers to make you rich, for I have other
-fortunes. Look, I will toss it into the sea--if you do not give me that
-bottle----”
-
-Bellair laughed at him.
-
-“These are thousand dollar notes--there are fifty of them----”
-
-Bellair turned aside for an instant. Money and papers of more
-money--these were very far from fanning excitement in his breast. A
-loaf and a jug of fresh water were real; the moon’s higher appearance
-each night, and the majestic plan of the night-suns, these were real.
-Fleury, the woman and the babe, lost in the brimming darkness of
-earth’s ocean--they were real. Like the stars they had to do with the
-mighty Conceiver of it all. They were a part of the Conception--and so
-they were real--but the dollars of men....
-
-“And do you know what I will do--after I have tossed this into the sea?”
-
-The question brought him back quickly.
-
-“No, Stackhouse,” he answered.
-
-“I will come for you and dake that bottle. I am big. I have strength. I
-will dake it--or you will kill me--and that will be the end----”
-
-Bellair thought of that. There was a pistol in his coat. He did not
-want to use it. He believed Stackhouse would do as he said.
-
-“For God’s sake, Bellair----”
-
-“If I give it to you--oh, not for that rubbish!” he pointed to the
-wallet. “If I give it to you--you will die more quickly----”
-
-“That is what I want.”
-
-“But it is not our way----”
-
-Stackhouse tore loose from his shirtpocket the heavy gold watch and its
-heavier chain, dropped the whole into one of the folds of the wallet to
-weight it down. “It will sink,” he said.
-
-“To hell with it----”
-
-“For God’s sake, Bellair!” Stackhouse moaned, his arm rising with the
-wallet and falling again.
-
-At that instant Bellair thought of Bessie Brealt and her career.... He
-turned to Fleury and the Mother. They were regarding him with kindest
-concern--as if he were a loved one who could not fail to do well in any
-event. Then he thought of the work that Fleury might do--the preacher
-who had finished with talk, and was so eager to act.... And just then,
-the little child turned to him from the mother’s breast--a puzzled
-look, but calm, and a flicker of the damp upper lip, as if it would
-like to smile, but was not sure.
-
-Bellair held out the whiskey. The wallet was thrust in his hands for
-reception of the bottle--a frenzied transaction.
-
-They begged him to spare it for his own peace. They gave him water, but
-poor Stackhouse could not live with the stuff in his hands. In fifteen
-minutes the bottle was drained, and then the monster wept.
-
-
- 5
-
-The night roved on like a night in still mountains. The young moon had
-sunk behind the sea. Jupiter in meridian glory seemed trying to bring
-his white fire to the dying red of Antares.... A dark night of stars
-now, since the upstart moon had left the deeper purple. Most of all,
-Bellair was fascinated by the great yellow gleam of Canopus. It was
-a dry, pure dark--no drip in that night--but a thirsty horror in the
-saline lapping of the ocean against the planks.
-
-Stackhouse was headless in the shadow, his piglike breathing a part
-of all. Fleury, the mother and the child slept; the preacher’s head
-close to the knees of the woman. Bellair marked that, and that Fleury
-loved her. At times the preacher’s whole life seemed an effort to make
-her eat and drink; and as for Fleury himself it often appeared that he
-required no better nutriment than that of conferring food and water
-upon the others. As custodian, he claimed authority for his action....
-Bellair thought long of Bessie. He was watching the east at last for
-Venus to arise ahead of the sun....
-
-... But Bessie became blurred. He did not understand. Either his
-brain had another picture, or the original of the singing girl was
-fading.... A New York voice, no passion, but ambition, an excellent
-voice--and such a beautiful, girlish breast.... Bellair tried to
-shake this coldness from him. This was not being true. He had a faint
-suspicion that a man’s woman is more apt to depart from him while he
-is at her side than when he is away. It is because another has come,
-if passion for the old dies, when one is away. Alone and apart, man is
-more ardent, in fact, unless a new picture composes.... He thought of
-Davy Acton, the office boy at Lot & Company’s, that wistful, sincere
-face--and then Bellair gave way to the night.
-
-This was a new sensation. It came from the hunger and thirst. He could
-_let go_. The purple immensity would then take him. A half-hour, even
-an hour, would pass. It was not sleep, very different from that. He was
-not altogether lost. A little drum-beat would come back to him from the
-mighty revery-space, and his heart would answer the beat. He seemed to
-be on the borderland of the Ultimate Secret; and invariably afterward
-he was amazed at what he had been--so sordid and sunken and depraved
-was the recent life he had known.
-
-“But I was what the days and years seemed to want of me,” he muttered.
-
-That was the gall of it. Days and years are betrayers; all the
-activities of the world are betrayers. He glimpsed the great patience
-of the scheme. Only man makes haste. Myriad pressures, subtle and
-still-voiced, tighten upon a man, bringing just the suggestion that all
-is not well with him. Then there are the more obvious pressures--fever,
-desire, the death of a man’s loves--to make him stop and look and
-listen. But so seldom does he relate these to the restlessness of his
-soul. Rather he attributes them to the general misery of life. He has
-been taught to do so--the false teaching.... For general misery is not
-the plan of life. If _children_ could only be taught that it is all
-superbly balanced, the plan perfect; that not a momentary stress of
-suffering comes undeserved; that the burden of all suffering is to make
-a man change!... A sentence came so clearly to him that even his lips
-formed it.
-
-“The plan of life is for joy!”
-
-He saw the need of every hundredth man at least, arising to repeat
-this sentence around the world--arising from his pain and husks like
-the Younger Son, and returning to the joy of the Father’s House....
-Something was singing in him from his thought of _children_.
-
-“We’re too old,” he thought, meaning the millions of men caught in
-the world as he had been, “but the children could learn. They could
-change----”
-
-He had turned to the bow. Fleury was a nearer shadow, sitting, head
-bowed forward. The Mother’s head lay back against Bellair’s coat, the
-child across her knees.... That faint grey light was about her. He had
-not noted this at first; it seemed to have come from the moment of
-contemplation--something like starlight, something like the earth-shine
-that Fleury explained. Her lips were parted, and her eyes seemed held
-shut, not as if she slept but as if she were thinking of something dear
-to her--her face wasted a little.
-
-He saw it more clearly than the faintness of the light would
-suggest--and to Bellair’s breast came a sudden sense of her expectancy.
-It seemed she were awake, but lying back with eyes shut awaiting a
-lover, her face wasted a little from the burning of expectation. For
-a moment it was very beautiful to him. Then all was spoiled--for the
-personal entered. Almost before he had any volition in the matter, his
-mind had flashed across the interval of space between them--as if he
-were the one to bring that token to the parted lips.
-
-He shook his head with impatience, and the miseries of the hour rushed
-home to his mind.
-
-... Fleury was awake and they were whispering, the woman still asleep.
-
-“The plan of the world is for joy,” Bellair said wearily. “We are all
-taught that it is a vale of tears--that’s the trouble--taught that we
-must grab what we can.”
-
-“If we won’t learn from joy--we’ve got to take the pain,” said the
-preacher. “We’ve got to get out of the conception of time and space as
-the world sees it to catch a glimpse of the joy of the plan. We are
-in the midst of a superb puzzle. To those who see only the matter and
-not the meaning, life is an evil country, a country of dragons and
-monsters. But there’s a soul to it all, and man has a soul. If a man
-begins to use his soul to see and think with, the puzzle begins to
-unfold. A man’s soul isn’t of matter. It’s a pilgrim come far, far to
-go--very eager to get this particular journey through matter ended----”
-
-“But why make the journey?”
-
-“To learn evil.”
-
-“The Younger Son wasted himself afield----”
-
-“Was he not placed afterward above the elder in the Father’s heart?”
-Fleury asked. “Could he not appreciate the Father’s House better than
-him who had not left it? Man is greater than angels--that’s hinted at
-everywhere in the Scriptures. Angels are unalloyed good. The man who
-has mastered matter becomes a creative force. All the great stories
-of the world tell the same story--the wanderings of Ulysses, the
-tasks of Hercules. The soul’s mastery of each task and escape from
-each peril and illusion is an added lesson--finally the puzzle breaks
-open. The adventurer sees the long journey of the soul, not this
-little earth-crossing. He sees that his misery now is but a dip of the
-valley--that the long way is a steadily rising road--that the plan _is_
-for joy.”
-
-It came home to him closer than ever before that night. His soul had
-tried to express itself and ordain his higher ways these many years,
-but he had lost his way in the world. He perceived that all men lose
-their way; that he had suddenly been shaken apart so he could see.
-It was luck in his case--the misery at Lot & Company’s, the singing
-of Bessie Brealt, the unparalleled contrasts here in the open boat.
-But why should he be shown, and not the millions of other imprisoned
-men? Was this a part of the great patience of the scheme again? Would
-something happen to each man in due season, some force in good time to
-help him to rise and be free?
-
-“The man who ties himself to the pilgrim--and not the sick little
-chattering world creature--suddenly finds that he has but one job,”
-Fleury said presently. “He’s got to tell about it----”
-
-The world suddenly smote Bellair.
-
-“Why, men would say a man was crazy if he told the things we have
-thought this night,” he said, leaning forward. “Maybe we are a bit
-unsound. Perhaps these are illusions we are harbouring--vagaries
-from drying up and wasting away, similar to the vagaries of
-alcohol--doubtless----”
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was like waking from a dream--the horrible sounds now from the
-stern. Bellair heard Fleury’s voice. Turning, he saw Venus before
-anything else. It was the thought that he had fallen into the revery
-with, and had to be finished on the way out.
-
-Under that superb vision of morning, Stackhouse was kneeling, his
-breast against the rail,--bringing up to his mouth great palm-fuls of
-brine.
-
-
- 6
-
-The things that happened in the open boat on this fourth day are not
-altogether to be explained. A metaphysician from the East explained
-a similar visitation--but like many explanations of the East, the
-foundations of his discussion were off the ground. He did not begin
-with stuff that weighs-up avoirdupois. The West can weigh the moon
-and estimate the bulk of Antares’ occulted companion, but in cases
-where _things_ cease to be weighable, our side of the world sits back
-with the remark, “It is well enough to hypothecate the immaterial,
-but what’s the good of it when you can’t see it?” Also when the East
-gently suggests an opinion, the West rises to declare, “Why, you people
-haven’t got gas or running water in your houses.”
-
-Now occasionally there comes a time when the Western eye sees something
-that it can’t touch or smell exactly, and it is easier to disbelieve
-its own senses than to change its point of view for an Eastern one.
-Accordingly it says, “I was crazy with the heat,” or as Bellair was
-prone to explain away the visitation of this day, “The thirst and the
-hunger had got to me.”
-
-There follows, without further peroration, an unheated narrative of
-what _appeared_ to take place on that fourth day:
-
-As was expected from drinking the brine, Stackhouse went mad. The
-look of the great creature, his very identity, changed, went out from
-him, and something else came in. This happens when a dog goes mad. We
-have had to reckon with it in our own families. If that which we knew
-passes, without something foreign taking its place, the result would
-be a mere inert mass waiting for death. The alienists have given us
-the word _obsession_ to explain that which comes instead, making an
-obscenity and violence of that which we knew. In the olden days these
-Enterers were known as demons. A man named Legion was beset with them,
-and Another with a strong will came and, according to the story, freed
-Legion. That which had defiled him entered a herd of swine, the bars of
-which were somehow down at the time....
-
-They had ceased to hate Stackhouse. The old Master was gone into who
-knows what long feeding dream? This was merely his body that they
-watched for an hour or two in the forenoon. In fact, Bellair had
-studied the departure with some detachment. He was sitting as usual in
-the centre of the boat, glad that the Stackhouse agony was done. There
-was a moment in which it appeared that death was stealing in rapidly,
-and another in which a new kind of life entered the body--as vandals
-enter to despoil a house after the tenant has moved away.
-
-The hunched body had suddenly reached for him like a great ape. Bellair
-had felt the crippling force of the touch, and an almost equal force
-from the thought that flashed in his mind--to use the pistol.... The
-boat had rocked beneath them. The blackness of much blood was in
-Bellair’s brain. The struggle was brief. Through it all, Bellair heard
-the cries of the child. Just as he was ready to fail, the monster sat
-back, his teeth snapping in his beard--the huge hands feeling for him,
-as one blinded.
-
-“Change places with me, Bellair.”
-
-This was from Fleury--midforenoon that fourth day. Bellair obeyed
-because he was afraid of the pistol at hand.
-
-“I don’t want to kill him,” he panted.
-
-“It will not come to that,” Fleury answered.
-
-It was then that the transfer of seats was made. Bellair relied
-vaguely upon the preacher’s greater strength which was not of limb and
-shoulder. The monster dropped to his knees to renew the fight.
-
-“Be still,” Fleury commanded. “Be still and rest----”
-
-Stackhouse himself would not have faltered before that voice of
-Fleury’s, but there was a force in it that prevailed for a moment upon
-the obsession. The air was full of strain.... They heard the heart in
-the poor body. The blue-tipped hands were upraised from the bottom of
-the boat--the face was toward them. Bellair and the Faraway Woman could
-see only the back of Fleury’s head. The strain was like a vice in the
-open boat.
-
-Bellair contemplated the mystery: that this force, lower and more
-destructive than Stackhouse, could be managed and subdued in part by
-the energy of another’s will-power, when Stackhouse himself would have
-required brute strength.... He thought he understood what was going
-on, though he would likely have scouted the same had some one told him.
-In any event, Fleury was quieting the complicated thing before him....
-They heard the heart-beats rise and sink, the hands often lifting from
-the bottom. The entire passage of the battle was magnified before their
-eyes. Hours passed. Fleury scarcely turned.
-
-So far there is nothing to call in the Eastern metaphysicians, but
-the day was not done, nor the dying galvanism of the monster. The
-afternoon was still bright, when the great hairy head cocked itself
-up differently--the eyes stretching open and suddenly filled with
-yellow-green light, the colour of squash-pulp close to the rind, but a
-transparent light, that gathered the rays of the day in its expiring
-lucency, and held their own eyes--a lidless horror lifted from its
-belly. The woman must have seen the change at the same instant, for her
-cry blended with the voice of Bellair. As one, they understood that
-this was a different force for Fleury to meet--a wiser, more ancient
-and terrific force, from the bowels of the world of evil possibly,
-without relation to Stackhouse, but with a very thrilling relation to
-them.
-
-The whole face had a different look. It was rising higher. The hands
-were braced upon the grating, pushing the body up. They were accustomed
-to the loosed havoc of bestiality which Stackhouse had left upon his
-features--but this that looked out from his eyes was knit and intent.
-
-Fleury’s hand groped back.
-
-“It will not answer me,” he was saying. “This is different. It will not
-obey me. Take my hand, Bellair.... Yes, and take hers with the other.
-We must drive it out.”
-
-Weariness more than death was in the speech. He had struggled for
-hours. It was the voice of a man who had fought to his soul’s end.
-Bellair held his hand and the woman’s, but felt himself the betrayer.
-This had come _for him_! He was the prophet lying still while the
-sailors deliberated. They must cast him into the sea, before this thing
-could be willed into quiescence. Concentration on his part was broken
-by this conviction.
-
-The body of Stackhouse was lifted to its knees--the different face
-looking out of the eyes. They sat before it like terrified children;
-the eyes found them one after another, steadily, with unearthly frigid
-humour, like some creative force of evil, integrated of the ages,
-charged with intrepid will, a ruling visitant that would tarry but an
-instant for the climax.
-
-It was not human, save in the shape and feature for their recognition;
-its difference from the human was its frank knowing destructiveness.
-Humanity is mainly unconscious of the processes of evil; _this had
-chosen_. This was of the pull of the earth, and knew its power. It
-seemed known to Bellair as if from some ancient meeting. He could never
-have remembered, however, without this return. It was devoid of sex,
-which seemed to bring to him some old deep problem that took its place
-with his ineffable fear of the presence.
-
-So Bellair sat between them, holding their hands, but powerless to
-help.... It was higher, looking out of the eyes of the body, in strange
-solution with the fallen humanity of the face they knew. And Bellair
-knew _he_ was responsible.
-
-“You must depart. You do not belong here,” a voice said. Bellair could
-not tell if it were Fleury’s or the woman’s or his own. It may have
-been merely a thought.
-
-The thing had uprisen now. It lurched in the sway of the boat. Fleury
-and he were standing to meet the body that hurled itself forward....
-Water dashed over them. They were beneath the monster. Bellair felt
-more than the crush of the weight of flesh, a force kindred to
-electricity, but not electric, a smothering defiling dynamics, that
-despoiled him by the low, cold depth of its vibration, rather than by
-the fierce fury of it. Then he thought of the woman’s child. It came to
-him like a pure gleam. The child must live. The thought was very real,
-out of the self, but not _for_ self.... It seemed that he heard the
-heart of Stackhouse break, and the demon hiss away.
-
-Bellair looked up from the bottom of the boat. The woman’s face was
-very close, his face between her hands.
-
-“... Yes, come back to us!” she was saying. “Oh, we could not live
-without you----”
-
-It did not seem real to him for a moment. He turned from her merciful
-eyes. Fleury was sitting there in the centre, holding the child with
-hands that trembled. The boat rode lightly, though water lay in the
-bottom. He turned farther. Yes, the seat in the stern was empty.
-
-“He is dead?” Bellair whispered.
-
-“Yes,” she answered.
-
-“And we did not kill him,” Fleury added.
-
-“But how did he get overside?”
-
-“You helped,” they told him.
-
-He did not remember. “And the child?”
-
-“The little Gleam is all right. All is well with us, Bellair.”
-
-Something of the encounter returned now. “I do not belong here with
-you,” he said. “The thing--at the last--came for me----”
-
-Then he realised how absurd this would sound--as if some ogre had come.
-Yet they understood.
-
-“I thought it had come for me,” the woman answered quietly. “I said
-that, and _he_----”she turned with a smile to the preacher,“--and he
-said the same--that it had come for him. We will forget that. Something
-freed us----”
-
-Bellair turned to the child.
-
-“It was the little Gleam who freed us,” Fleury said.
-
-“How did you get that name?” Bellair asked.
-
-“You said it.”
-
-“How long have I been lying here?”
-
-“Ten minutes.”
-
-He rested a moment longer.... The woman was sane, the child unhurt.
-Stackhouse was dead, and they had not murdered him. It was the fourth
-sunset.... Bellair sat up and turned his eyes to the sea.
-
-The great body was near. It would not sink. They tried to row, but
-were too weak to pull far. The calm sea would not cover it from their
-eyes.... Even the birds did not come to it, and there was no tugging
-from the deep.
-
-The terrible battle of the day had left them whimpering--drained men,
-in the pervading calm of the sea, under the dry cloudless heat and
-light of the sky. Fleury and Bellair looked at each other and their
-eyes said: “We did not murder him.” They looked again and found the
-woman saner than they. They turned over her shoulder to the blotch
-upon the sea. It floated high, drifted with them. They could not speak
-connectedly, but longed for the night.... At last, they heard her voice:
-
-“It is very great to me to know that there are such men in the world.
-As a little girl in New Zealand I used to picture such heroes--such
-brothers and heroes. I came to doubt it afterward, and that was evil in
-me. I see now that the dream was true----”
-
-They listened like two little boys.
-
-“See, the cool is coming!” she added. “The child is glad, too.
-To-night, we will talk!”
-
-“You will tell us a story?” Fleury said.
-
-“Yes, when it is darker. It is all so safe and quiet now. We are all
-one.”
-
-That meant something to Bellair. Later when it was dark, and they had
-supped, he said:
-
-“It’s good--the way you count me in, but you shouldn’t. I don’t belong,
-much as I’d like to. I misjudged you at first. I misjudged Fleury--and
-him----” he pointed over her shoulder to the sea.
-
-“It will be gone in the morning,” she whispered, patting his hand. “We
-are three--and the child.”
-
-“Three, and God bless you,” said Fleury. “Three and the little
-Gleam----”
-
-“The Gleam,” the woman repeated, holding the child closer. “I love
-that.”
-
-“We are three and we follow the Gleam.”
-
-
- 7
-
-Fleury took the child. The Faraway Woman sat straight in her seat, so
-that Bellair wondered at her strength. Her strength came to him. The
-deeps of his listening were opened to her low voice. The story came
-to them with all the colour and contour of her thought-pictures--a
-richness from the unspoken words which cannot be given again:
-
-“It’s about a little girl whom I will call Olga,” she said. “That is
-really her name, and the story is the little girl’s truly. I shall only
-tell part of it to-night, for it is long and I would only tell you the
-happy part--to-night.
-
-“Olga’s father and mother and the other children lived in a low house
-by the open road that led to Hamilton. He raised sheep for a living on
-the rolling pasture-lands near the Waikata river, a hundred miles south
-of Auckland.... Yes, Olga was born in New Zealand--the youngest of a
-houseful of sisters. They belong more to the latter part of the story
-which I shall not tell to-night--just the happy part to-night.... The
-first thing that Olga remembered as belonging to the Great Subject was
-spoken by her father one evening when they were all together at their
-supper of bread and milk:
-
-“‘... One never knows. It is best not to turn away any stranger, not
-even if he is shabby and ill-looking. I heard of a house where a
-stranger was turned away. They were not bad people, but supper was
-over, the things put aside, and the woman was very tired. The stranger
-was taken in at the next house, and in the morning he seemed different
-to them--not shabby or ill-looking at all, but rested and laughing,
-with bright lights about his hair. Always afterward, that house was
-blest, but the other house went on in its misery and labour. One never
-knows. It is best not to turn any stranger away.’
-
-“Now Olga understood that from beginning to end. Many times before she
-had tried to follow the talk at the table, but the words would come
-too fast, and she would fall away to her own manner of seeing things.
-This talk simplified many matters for her, and seemed greatly to be
-approved. So in the evenings she began to watch for _her_ guest up the
-long level road that led to Hamilton. All that summer Olga thought of
-it and watched, though she was very little and only five. Sometimes
-when it was not yet dark she would venture forth a few steps and
-stare up the long road, until the house of their distant but nearest
-neighbour was all blurred in the night. Just behind her cottage in the
-other direction, the road dipped into a ravine, and the trees grew up
-from it, shutting off the distance. No place could be more wonderful
-than the ravine at midday, for the shades were quickened with birds,
-bees, flowers and much beside that only Olga saw, but its enchantment
-was too keen for the evening, and the night came there very quickly.
-
-“Her Guest would never come from the ravineway, but from the long, open
-road--Olga was sure of this. Yet when stopping to think, she became
-afraid he would not be allowed to pass the neighbour’s house. Their
-little Paul was her frequent playmate, and Paul’s father and mother
-were most good and hospitable people, the last on the Hamilton road
-to let a stranger go by, without food and shelter. And Paul would
-be looking, for he was almost always interested in her things....
-But perhaps they would be in at supper and not see the stranger; or
-perhaps he would not want to stop there, but would know that _she_ was
-watching. She made very certain that he would not get by her house
-unobserved.
-
-“Spring had come again. The pale blue hepaticas were peeping into
-bloom. There was one day that ended in Olga’s most wonderful night. The
-sun had gone down, but not the light. The sky was crowded with rich
-gold like the breast of the purple martin--flickerings of beautiful
-light in the air, as if little balls of happiness were bursting of
-themselves. The shadows were soft on the long road; the tiles of the
-neighbour’s low house were like beaten gold, and the perfume of the
-hyacinths flooded everywhere into the silence. All that heaven could
-ever be was in that broad splendour and sweetness--the ravine a soft
-purple stillness behind, and a faint mist of red falling in the distant
-gold.
-
-“He was coming. She knew him for The Guest from afar. The neighbours’
-house was already dimmed, but the stranger was clear, so that she knew
-he had passed their door. She ran forth to meet him, and no one called
-to her from behind. It seemed all made for her--the evening so sweet
-and vast and perfect. One of her little loose shoes came off as she
-hurried, but she did not stop. The single one made her running clumsy,
-so she kicked that free too. He must not think she was a little lame
-girl.... He was farther than she thought; she had never come so far
-alone in the evening. And yet how clearly she could see him....
-
-“He must be very tired, for sometimes he was on one side of the road,
-and sometimes on the other. He was quite old, and his step unsteady,
-yet he carried his cane and did not use it.... His head was uncovered.
-Now she knew why his steps were so unsteady. He was looking upward as
-he walked--upward and around quite joyously, the glow of the sky upon
-his white beard and hair--so that he did not see her coming, and her
-bare feet were silent on the road.
-
-“She felt very little as she touched his cane.
-
-“‘Won’t you come to our house to rest? Oh, please----’
-
-“‘Yes, yes,’ he answered, but did not look down.
-
-“‘Our house is near--won’t you come?’ she asked again, and turning, she
-was surprised how far it was, but not afraid, and no one called to her.
-
-“‘Oh, yes,’ he answered.
-
-“‘But I am down here----’
-
-“‘Bless me--are you?’
-
-“He did not seem to see her very well, but tried to follow her voice,
-his eyes looking past her, and to the side, his great hands groping
-for her gently. Olga spoke again and touched his hands. Then he really
-saw her, and she sighed with relief, because his eyes filled with the
-gentlest love she had ever seen--seemed to rest upon her and enclose
-her at the same time. The gladdest smile of welcome had come to his
-face. Both her hands were in his groping ones, but now she turned and
-led him. There was silence as they walked, and Olga asked:
-
-“‘But what were you looking for--you were looking up, you know?’
-
-“‘Was I, dear?’
-
-“‘Yes, and what were you looking for?’
-
-“‘I was looking for my mother,’ he said.
-
-“Olga thought how old she must be, and she wanted to cry.... _Her_
-mother made the stranger very welcome, and her father stood back
-against the wall smiling in a way that she always remembered, and
-without lighting his pipe until after the stranger had finished his
-meal. There was golden butter and the dark bread that is the life of
-the peasants, a pitcher of fresh milk and a bite of that cheese which
-is brought forth only on Sundays or holidays. They pressed him to eat
-more, saying that he must be in need of food after his journey, but it
-was very little that he really took. He smiled and looked with peace
-from face to face, but Olga had pulled her stool back into the shadows,
-for she did not wish to intrude. He had not seen so much of the others.
-
-“A chair was brought to the hearth, for it was now dark and there was a
-little fire burning against the damp coolness of evening. They waited
-in vain for him to speak. It was as if he had come home. To Olga he was
-intensely memorable sitting there in the firelight. The others would
-draw near, and he leaned forward and looked into their faces smilingly,
-but it was not the same.... Now he was looking and looking around the
-room. He found her, and held out his hands. She heard her mother say,
-‘This is Olga’s guest.’
-
-“She had not believed his old arms could be so strong. With one hand he
-held her, while the other patted her shoulder softly, slowly,--as if
-he had everything he desired. All about her was the firelight and the
-strange joyous whiteness of him--his throat and collar and beard all
-lustrous white. In his arms there was something she had never known,
-even from her mother--a deep and limitless joy, as if the world were
-all good, and nothing could possibly happen that would not be the right
-good thing.
-
-“Then she became afraid her breast would burst, for the happiness was
-more and more. It had to do with the future, such a far distance of
-seeing, all rising and increasingly good--until Olga had to slip down
-from his knees, because the happiness in and through her was more than
-she could bear.
-
-“‘I will come back,’ she said hoarsely.
-
-“Outdoors she waited until the stars had steadied and were like the
-stars she knew, for they had been huge and blazing at first; then she
-returned and he stretched out his hands to her, and she heard her
-mother say, ‘Surely, this is Olga’s guest.’
-
-“She did not remember how she got into her little bed. She heard the
-birds in the vines, and it was golden day when she awoke. Suddenly she
-knew that she had slept too long, that she would find him gone.... She
-thought of her little brown shoes on the road, but some one must have
-brought them in, for there they were by the bed.... He was no longer in
-the house, but she did not weep. There had been so much of wonder and
-beauty. She looked into her mother’s face, but did not ask. The mother
-smiled, as if waiting for her to speak. The other children must have
-been told, for they did not speak.
-
-“A thousand times Olga wished that she had awakened in time; often it
-came to her that she had not done all she could for her guest, but
-there was never real misery about it, and she was never quite the same
-after that perfect night. She thought it out bit by bit every day, but
-it was long, long afterward before she spoke, and this was to an elder
-sister, who--it was most strange and pitiful to Olga--seemed to have
-forgotten it all----”
-
-The Faraway Woman reached for the child, and held it close and
-strangely. Fleury offered her water, but she took just a sup and bade
-them finish the cup. “That was the happy part,” she added in a whisper,
-her back moving slowly to and fro, as she held the child high. “It
-might all have been happier, but Olga was not quite like the others.
-They did not tell her what they knew, and Olga never could tell them
-what she felt. Another time--some happy time--I will tell you, who are
-so good--you will understand the rest of the story----”
-
-“Would you tell us if Olga’s guest came again?” the preacher asked.
-
-“Yes, he came again,” she said softly.
-
-Bellair sat still for several moments. Then he leaned forward and
-touched the child’s dress.
-
-
- 8
-
-They made an appearance of drinking (with a cracker in hand) at
-midnight, but it was for the sake of the woman--a sup of tepid water.
-The long night sailed by. Slowly the moon sank--that dry moon,
-brick-red and bulbous, as it entered the western sea. All was still in
-the little boat. Bellair was ready to meet his suffering. He could not
-sleep--because the woman was near. That was the night that her quality
-fixed itself for all time exemplary in his heart.
-
-The little story had revealed to him a new sanctuary. He loved it and
-the little Gleam; as for that, he loved Fleury, too. It was a strange
-resolving of all separateness that had come to him from these friends.
-More than ever thrilling it had come, with Stackhouse out of the boat
-and since the story had been made his.
-
-She had been frightened by his loss of consciousness at the end of the
-battle. He had awakened looking into her eyes. He scarcely dared to
-recall what she had said in her anxiety, but it was an extraordinary
-matter of value. What a mother she was; and what a little girl lived
-in that story, and now!... That little girl was still in her heart.
-The recent days in the open boat had not spoiled her; nor the recent
-years of loneliness and tragedy. Out of it all had come certain perfect
-works--the babe in her arms, her own fortitude and fearlessness of
-death; the little girl still in her eyes and heart. Bellair saw that a
-man loves the child in a woman, quite as much as a woman loves the boy
-in a man.... She had said that Fleury and he were brothers and heroes.
-He knew better in his own case. Still she had said it, adding that the
-discovery of such men to her was a part of the very bloom of life....
-
-Bellair was not thinking the personal relation now. Fleury and she
-were mated in his own thoughts. From the beginning, this was so; and
-yet he did not ask more. He had come to believe from their glorious
-humanity (so strange to him and unpromising in the beginning)--that the
-world was crowded with latent values which, once touched and quickened
-into life, would make it a paradise.
-
-That was the substance of the whole matter. He must never forget it.
-The human values which he had met in these were secret in thousands,
-perhaps in millions, of hearts, and needed only breaking open by stress
-and revelation--to bring the millennium to old Mother Earth, and open
-her skies for the plan of joy. Bellair impressed this upon his mind
-again, so he would not forget--then fell asleep.
-
-She was first awake in the distance-clearing light. She arose
-carefully, so as not to awaken the men and the child, and stared long
-in every quarter. There was no ship, no land, no cloud; and yet a trace
-of happiness on her thin face, as she sat down. Fleury was rousing. She
-had expected that; for through their strange sympathy several times
-before he had awakened with her, or soon after. She bent forward and
-whispered a good-morning, and added:
-
-“It is gone----”
-
-“Surely?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Thank God.”
-
-The preacher breathed deeply, contemplated their faces one after
-another. From Bellair lying in the stern, his eyes turned significantly
-to the woman’s, and his own lit with zeal.... Bellair was on the
-borderland then, coming up through the fathoms of dream. Already he
-felt the heat; the sun had imparted its ache to his eyes. The three
-were half-blinded by the long brilliance of the cloudless days on the
-sea.... Bellair was trying to speak, but could not because of the parch
-in his throat. Moreover, no thoughts could hold him--not even Bessie.
-She came to mind, pink and ineffectual, lost in her childish things.
-She had failed this way before....
-
-There was a cup to his lips. He smelled the water, and wanted it as he
-wanted decency and truth--as he wanted to be brave and fit to be one of
-the three. It almost crazed him, the way he wanted it--but it would be
-taking it from her. All the violence of one-pointed will was against
-the cup. He pushed it away.
-
-“Don’t, Bellair,” said Fleury. “You’ll spill it. Drink----”
-
-“I won’t. Take it away.”
-
-“You must drink. It is yours.”
-
-“Yes, he must drink,” said the woman.
-
-Bellair sat up. Fleury was holding the cup to his lips.
-
-“It is gone from behind,” said the preacher. “Drink your water. I
-have. I will speak to you after you drink.”
-
-He stared at them, and at the open sea behind her. Then it came to him,
-as if from Fleury’s mind, to obey.... Fleury then served the woman.
-They ate a cracker together; at least it seemed so. Then Fleury spoke:
-
-“We have the child to serve--that is our first thought; therefore we
-must think of the child’s mother first. As for her other part, as our
-companion, she will be one with us, of course. We have been here five
-full days, and we have not been allowed, by the presence of him who
-is gone--and may God rest and keep that--we have not been allowed to
-do the best we could in this great privilege of being together and
-drawing close to reality. Many have gone without food and drink for ten
-days--to come close to God. There is food here and water--to keep us in
-life. This is what I would say: We must change our point of view.”
-
-He paused, and their eyes turned from one to another. The child’s face
-seemed washed in the magic of morning. The preacher added:
-
-“We must cease to regard ourselves as suffering, as creatures in want,
-as starving or dying of thirst. Rather, as three souls knit, each to
-the other, who have entered upon a pilgrimage together--a period of
-simple austerity to cleanse and purify our bodies the better to meet
-and sense reality, and to approach with a finer sensitiveness, than
-we have ever known--the mystery and ministry of God.... So we are not
-suffering, Bellair. We are not suffering--”
-
-He turned to the woman.
-
-“We are chosen ones. This is our wilderness. When we are ready--God
-will speak to us. We are very far from the poor needs of the body--for
-this is the time and period of our consecration. God bless you
-both--and the Gleam.”
-
-
- 9
-
-It was the seventh evening, the cool coming in. Bellair could not feel
-his body below his lungs, unless he stopped to think. The child was
-on his knee, his hands holding it. The little face was browned, but
-very clear and bright. Bellair’s hands against the child’s dress were
-clawlike to his own eyes, like the hands of a black man very aged. He
-could move his fingers when he thought of it, but he did not know if
-they moved unless he watched. The effort of steadying the child he did
-not feel in his arms, but in his shoulders. It was like the ache in his
-eyes. No tears would come, but all the smart of tears’ beginnings; and
-the least little thing would bring it about. He had to stop between
-words and wait for his throat to subside--in the simplest saying.
-
-He saw everything clearly. The open boat was like a seat lifted a
-trifle above the runways of the world. He could see them, as one in the
-swarming paths beneath could never hope to see. It was all good, but
-the pain and the pressure of them all!... Bessie Brealt in pain and
-pressure; Davy Acton in the hard heavy air; Broadwell who was trying
-to be a man at Lot & Company’s; the old boarding-house woman who had
-forgotten everything but her rooms--her rooms moving with shadows whom
-she never saw clearly and never hoped to understand--shadows that
-flitted, her accounts never in order, her rooms never in order....
-There had been people in there whom he never saw--one girlish voice
-that awakened in the afternoon and sang softly, a most subdued and
-impossible singing. She worked nights at a telephone switch-board--the
-night-desires of the great city passing through her--and she sang
-to the light of noon when it came to the cage.... Sunday afternoons
-when it was fine, a bearded man emerged from a back-room, emerged
-with a cane and cigarette case. Always on the front steps he lit the
-cigarette....
-
-Bellair now couldn’t smoke.... Once there had been moaning in a lower
-back room, moaning night and morning from a woman. He was not sure if
-it were the millinery woman, or the one who worked in Kratz’s. The
-moaning stopped and as he passed through the hall, he heard a doctor
-say to the landlady:
-
-“King Alcohol.”
-
-Just that.... He saw the millinery woman afterward, so it wasn’t
-she.... The air in the old halls was of a character all its own. It
-was stronger than the emanations from any of the rooms. The separate
-currents lost their identity like streams in the ocean, like souls
-in Brahma.... How strangely apart he had kept all that five years! A
-face not seen before in the halls, and he did not know if it were a
-newcomer or old. So few came to the board to dine--the chorus-woman
-from the Hippodrome, who came up nightly from the water.... He saw
-the view from his window--over the roofs and areas. It was a wall of
-windows--dwellers in the canyon sides; boxes of food hanging out,
-clothing out to freshen itself in the dingy and sluggish airs--the
-coloured stockings and the faces that looked out. Everything was
-monotonous but the faces--faces grim and sharp--faces of kittens and
-bulls and rabbits and foxes, faces of ferrets, sleek faces, torn faces,
-red and brutal, white and wasted faces; faces of food and drink, faces
-of hunger and fear; the drugged look; few tears but much dry yearning,
-and not a face of joy.
-
-There was no joyousness and peace in the lower runways, but pain and
-heavy pressures.... Bellair saw himself moving among those halls again,
-not a stranger, but with a hand, a smile, a dollar. No one would moan
-for days without his knowing. He would find day-work for the little
-telephone miss, and send orders for hats to the milliner. He would
-awaken that shadow of all the shadows, the landlady, with kindness and
-healing. He would call across the windowed cavern.... They would say,
-“Come over and help us,” and he would rush down stairs, and around
-into other streets, and faces there would be ready to show him. He
-saw it all clearly, such as it was, but no facts. They would not call
-to him. They would not be healed. They would take a dollar, but say
-he was cracked. He could move about passing forth a dollar here and
-there--that was all. They would welcome him at Lot & Company’s if he
-passed it out quietly enough. The dollar would go into the Sproxley
-system and emerge unbroken to the firm itself, there to be had and held
-and marked down in the house of Lot--Jabez, Nathan, Eben, Seth, each
-a part, the jovial Mr. Rawter a small but visible part--one hundred
-Sproxley-measured cents.... Davy Acton wouldn’t get one, nor Broadwell,
-nor the girls upstairs. The firm would not encourage him passing beyond
-the cage of Mr. Sproxley.... There were many who wanted food and drink
-and hats--hats----”
-
-He was with Bessie Brealt now ... that night and the kiss. It was
-another life.... He went back to those who needed food--New York so
-full of food. Then he felt the heavy wallet against his breast--one
-paper in there would fill the open boat with food....
-
-“My God,” he said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He didn’t try to explain.... Sometimes he fell into a little dream as
-he sat. Once he was drinking at the narrow throat of a green bottle,--a
-magic bottle whose base was in the sea, and the trickle that passed
-through was freshened drop by drop. But it was a trick like all else
-in the world and the drops passed with agonising slowness. He came to,
-sucking hard upon his brass key, his mouth ulcered from it.... There
-were times in the long days that he hungered for the stars almost
-as for drink; times in the night when the stars bored him like some
-man-pageantry that he had seen too much of; times when the thought
-of God was less than the thought of water; and times when the faith
-and the glory of the spirit of the world made thirst a thing to laugh
-at, and death whimsical and insignificant.... Sometimes in the night,
-he fancied the woman was Bessie Brealt. It would come like a little
-suspicion first hardly stirring his faculties; finally it would be
-real--that the singing girl was there, all but her song. He would sit
-up rubbing his eyes in rebellion. Once he had spoken to be sure.
-
-“Yes, it is I,” she said huskily, and the voice was not Bessie
-Brealt’s.
-
-
- 10
-
-They did not speak of ships. Through the wakeful night hours they
-watched for the lights of ships, but they did not speak of vigils.
-Their eyes were straining for uncharted shores during the days,
-but they did not speak of land; nor of rain, though they watched
-passionately the change and movement of wind and cloud.
-
-It is true that they suffered less in the days that followed the
-passing of Stackhouse. The underworld was gone from the seat in the
-stern; sunlight and sea air had cleansed it from the boat. They were
-weaker, but pangs of thirst were weaker, too. Small pieces of metal
-in their mouths kept the saliva trickling. The real difference was an
-exaltation which even Bellair shared at times, and which had come to
-them the fifth morning with Fleury’s talk, and with refining intensity
-since.
-
-The child was well; his imperative founts still flowing. She was pure
-mother; it was the child that was nourished first, not her own body.
-She was first in the passion for his preservation. Indeed, she would
-have told them at once had any change threatened him. But she was the
-soul of the fasting too; the austerity of it found deep sanction within
-her; and there were moments in which she bewildered Bellair, for she
-became bright with the vitality which is above the need of bread.
-
-Fleury talked of God, as Stackhouse had talked of death. Indeed, there
-was a contrasting intoxication in the days and nights of the preacher,
-but one without hideous reaction.
-
-“There comes a moment,” he said, “when I am alone--when you two are
-asleep--that I feel the weakness. I drink and eat--perhaps more than my
-share. But when we are all together--sitting here as now, talking and
-sustaining one another--oh, it seems I was never so happy.”
-
-Bellair suspected that this talk of lapses into abandonment while
-others slept was an effort to make their minds easy on the subject of
-his share. Both the Mother and Bellair doubted this; it preyed upon
-them. In the main they were one solution, each separate quality of
-their individualism cast into a common pool for the sustaining of a
-trinity.
-
-“It changes the whole order,” Fleury declared. “Why, whole crowds have
-died of hunger--in half the number of days that holy men and women have
-fasted as a mere incident of their practice toward self-mastery. This
-is our consecration.”
-
-Bellair found it true. He had ceased to marvel at himself. Deep
-reconstruction was advanced within him; and a strange loyalty
-and endurance prospered from the new foundations. If this were
-self-hypnosis--very well; if madness--very well, too; at least, it
-was good to possess, seven, eight, nine days in an open boat, on a
-one-fifth ration of water and food. To Bellair, who felt himself
-inferior to the others, it appeared that they already lived what he was
-thrillingly thinking out. He remembered his first thoughts of them--in
-the cold worldly manner of a fellow-traveller. It was almost as far as
-a man’s emotion can swing, from what he thought of them now. Before
-God, he believed he was right now, and wrong then. Certainly he would
-test it out, if he lived to move among men again.
-
-He thought often about the child’s voice--at the moment that the heart
-of Stackhouse broke--as the point of his turning and salvation. This
-furnished a clue to many things, though he did not miss the fact that
-the world would smile at his credulity in accepting such a dispensation
-as real. The world would say that he had been driven to far distances
-of illusion by thirst and hunger; in fact, that anything which he had
-seen, other than the original entity in the eyes of Stackhouse, was a
-part of the illusion. Bellair considered this, and also that in every
-instance of late in which he had held the world’s point of view he
-had been proven wrong. He granted the world its rights to think as it
-chose, but accepted the dispensation.
-
-There had been good and evil within him. The balance had turned in
-favour of the good, with that cry. It had turned from the self. The
-purpose of the Enterer had been to keep him _in_ the self. It had come
-from the unfathomed depths of evil--that purpose and the devil which
-he saw. Bellair had heard repeatedly that some such _dweller_ appeared
-to each man who makes an abrupt turn from the life of flesh to the
-life of the spirit. Each of the three had seen something foreign in
-the eyes of Stackhouse. It is true they had not talked of it; possibly
-to each it was different in its deadliness; perhaps theirs was not the
-demon _he_ saw, since Fleury and the woman were much farther on the way
-than he, but they had been good enough to share responsibility for the
-visitation. Indeed, the Faraway Woman could not have been acting, since
-a cry came from her the instant _it_ appeared.
-
-This he loved to study: that his thought of the child had balanced the
-whole issue against the intruder; that something within him had brought
-that saving grace of selflessness out of chaos. It was a squeak, he
-invariably added, but it had shown him enough, opening the way. There
-must be such a beginning in every man; in fact, there must come an
-instant of choice; an instant in which a man consciously chooses his
-path, weighing all that is past against the hope and intellectual
-conception of a better life.
-
-Bellair brooded upon this a great deal, especially on the ninth day,
-and that was the day, Fleury talked--the holiest of their days in the
-open boat. Bellair found many things clearer afterwards. As soon as he
-understood fully, he meant to close it all, so far as his own relation
-was concerned. In its very nature it must be given to others, must be
-turned to helpfulness. It was a sort of star-dust which did not adhere
-to self, but sought places of innocence to shine from, and used every
-pure instrument for its dissemination. The key to the whole matter was
-the loss of the sense of self. Having accepted this, Bellair knew that
-he must go up into Nineveh, so to speak. He trembled.
-
-“We learn by austerities apart,” Fleury said, “and then we return
-to men with the story. We are called up the mountain to witness the
-transfiguration, and then are sent with the picture down among men. Oh,
-no, we are not permitted to remain, nor build a temple up there. First
-we receive; then we must give. We must lose the sense of self in order
-to receive; and having received, we do not want the sense of self.
-This is the right and left hand of prayer--pure selfless receptivity,
-then tireless giving to others. It is the key to the whole scheme of
-life--mountain and valley, ebb and flow, night and day, winter and
-summer, the movement of the lungs and the heart and the soul. We cannot
-receive while our senses are hot with desire; therefore we must become
-delicate and sensitive. Having received, we must make the gift alive
-through action. Dreaming is splendid; the dreamer receives. The dreamer
-starts all things; but the dreamer becomes a hopeless ineffectual if
-he does not make his dreams come true in matter. That is it. We are
-here to make matter follow the dream. That’s why the spirit puts on
-flesh--that’s why we are workmen. Action is the right hand of thought.”
-
-The preacher was ahead of him in these thoughts. So often he said just
-what Bellair needed, the exact, clearing, helpful thing. For instance,
-Bellair had followed his own fascinating conviction that the world
-is full of secret values; that the world is ready to pull together,
-only it requires a certain stimulus from without--some certain message
-that would reach and unify all. Fleury tightened the matter by his
-expression of it:
-
-“The socialists are doing great good. The church is still doing good;
-the societies that have turned to the East have heard the great
-message; even in commerce there is a new life; everywhere in the world,
-the sense of having found _some new spirit_ which works to destroy
-the sense of self. If one great figure should come now--come saying,
-‘You are all good. You are all after the same thing. One way is as
-good as another--only come.’... What we need is for some one to touch
-the chord for us--to give us the key, as to an orchestra of different
-instruments. We are all making different notes; and yet are ready for
-the harmony--some of us intensely eager for the harmony. The great need
-is for a Unifier.... It seems that we, here in the small boat, can see
-America so much clearer, than when we were there----”
-
-Bellair had felt this a thousand times.
-
-“The greatest story in the world is the story of the coming of a
-Messiah--the one who may chord for us. I think He will come. He will
-come out of the East, his face like the morning sun turned to the West.
-Don’t you see--we are all like atoms of steel in a chaos? You know what
-happens when a voltage of electricity is turned upon a bar of steel?
-Order comes to the chaos; the atoms sing, all turned the same way. That
-Voice must come--that tremendous voltage of spiritual electricity--that
-will set us all in harmony--all with our tails down stream.”
-
-And Fleury finished it all by pointing out what had happened to them
-in the small boat. They had lost separateness; they were each for the
-others.
-
-“That’s what must happen in America, in the world,--the pull of
-each for the whole--the harmony. You have seen an audience in the
-midst of great message or great music--they weep together. They cry
-out together. They are all one. That’s the story. That is what must
-happen. It will happen when the Unifier comes. It is the base of
-all gospel--that we are all one in spirit. Don’t you see it--every
-message from the beginning of time has told it? All one--all one--our
-separateness is our suffering, our evil. To return to the House of Our
-Father--that is the end of estrangement.”
-
-... And Fleury was the one who had ceased to talk. But he had acted,
-too.... They saw that he was held by some power of his giving to them.
-He was like light. He had given the whole material force of his body to
-hold off that destruction which had come with the dying of Stackhouse.
-He had not eaten, even as they had eaten. They feared for him, because
-he was the centre and mainspring of their pilgrimage. Especially this
-haunt became more grippable in the heart of the ninth night.... There
-was a small tin of water left, less than three pints, very far from
-clean; and somewhat less than a pound of crackers. Bellair awoke to
-find Fleury gone from his place between him and the woman. He was in
-the stern, in the old seat of Stackhouse, praying. ... Fleury met the
-tenth day with an exaltation that awed Bellair and the woman; and there
-came from it a fear to Bellair’s heart that had nothing to do with
-self, nor with the Mother, nor the Gleam.
-
-They were all weak, and two men utterly weak. Through their will and
-denial, and the extraordinary force and health of her own nature, the
-child had not yet been dangerously denied. It had become a sort of
-natural religion with the three--a readiness to die for the Gleam.
-
-“This is our last day,” said Fleury, before the western horizon was
-marked clear.... The Faraway Woman told them another story of what the
-wise old shepherd dog told the puppies--that it was better to begin on
-crackers and water--and end on cookies and cream....
-
-
- 11
-
-Bellair believed about this being the last day. The authority was quite
-enough, but there was still something akin to eternity in the possible
-space of another daylight and distance. The announcement did not bring
-him an unmixed gladness, for the mysterious fear of the night haunted
-him--the thing that had come to him under the full and amazing moon
-while Fleury prayed.... Day revealed no sign. They sat speechless and
-bowed under the smiting noon--the little boat in the wide, green deep
-under a fleckless, windless sky, proud of its pure part in infinite
-space.
-
-That was the day the child moaned, as significantly for the ears of
-men, as for the mother. He was a waif to look at--the little heart at
-times like one of them in stoicism--then nestling to the mother-breast
-and the turning away in astonishment and pain. The Mother’s eyes were
-harrowing.
-
-“This is our last day,” Fleury repeated.
-
-“I believe you,” she said.
-
-“Then drink and eat----”
-
-“I did--it is--it is--oh, I did!”
-
-“Land or rain or a ship, I do not know--but this is the last day----”
-
-Bellair regarded him, between his own wordless vapourings of
-consciousness. The preacher was like a guest, not of earth
-altogether--like one who would come in the evening.... Yes, that was
-it. He was like the old man who came to Olga, only young and beautiful.
-It did not occur to Bellair now that he was regarding his friend with
-a quality of vision that a well-fed man never knows.... That which he
-had fancied placid and boyish was knit and masterful. The cheeks and
-temples were hollowed, but the eyes were bright. There is a brightness
-of hunger, of fever, of certain drugs, but these were as different as
-separate colours--and had not to do with this man’s eyes. Nothing that
-Bellair knew but starlight could be likened--and not all starlight.
-There was one star that rose late and climbed high above and a little
-toward the north--solitary, remote, not yellow nor red nor green nor
-white, as we know it--yet of that whiteness which is the source of all.
-Bellair had forgotten the name, but Fleury’s eyes made him think of it.
-
-... The woman’s head was lying back. Something that Bellair had noted
-a hundred times, without bringing it actually into his mind’s front,
-now appeared with all the energy of a realisation. Her throat was
-almost too beautiful. The diverging lines under the ear, one stretching
-down to the shoulder, the other curving forward around the chin, were
-shadowed a little deeper from her body’s wasting, but the beauty was
-deeper than flesh, the structure itself classic. It was the same as
-when he had noted her finger-nails. Beauty had brought him a kind of
-excitement, and something of hostility--as if he had been hurt terribly
-by it long ago. But this was different; these details had come one
-by one, as he was ready. Her integrity had entered his heart before
-each outer symbol. He had not seen her at all at first; recalled the
-queer sense of hesitation in raising his eyes across the table in the
-cabin of the _Jade_. He had studied her face in the open boat, but
-something seemed to blur his eyes when she turned to him to speak. Two
-are required for a real understanding. As yet they had not really met,
-not yet turned to each other in that searching silence which fathoms.
-But the details were dawning upon him. Perhaps that was the way of the
-Faraway Woman--to dawn upon one.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The day was ending--their shadows long upon the water. Fleury raised
-his hand as he said:
-
-“It is surer to me than anything in the world----”
-
-“What, Fleury?” Bellair asked, though there was but one theme of the
-day.
-
-“That this is our last day in the open boat.”
-
-Bellair did not answer. His own voice had a hideous sound to him and
-betrayed his misery.
-
-“It was the _too-great light_--that I saw,” the preacher added huskily.
-“It began last night as I prayed. I saw that this was the last day for
-us--but more----”
-
-“I saw something about you as you prayed,” the woman said.
-
-Fleury surprised them now, taking a sup of water. They saw that he had
-something to say about God and the soul of man--that was the romance he
-worshipped. They listened with awe. In Bellair’s heart, at least, there
-was a conviction that tightened continually--that they were not long to
-hear the words of the preacher.
-
-“... For two years I have been in the dark and could not pray. Before
-that I prayed with the thought of self, which is not prayer. I could
-not stay as a church leader without praying. I said I would pray when
-I could pray purely for them. I told them, too, that I could not look
-back in service and adoration to the Saviour of another people who
-lived two thousand years ago. They called me a devil and a blasphemer.
-For two years, I have tried to serve instead of to pray, but no one
-would listen, no one would have me. They said I was insane, and at
-times I believed it. At last, it came to me that I must go away--to
-the farthest part of the world----”
-
-He turned yearningly to the woman.
-
-“And then you came with your strength and faith.”
-
-Now to Bellair:
-
-“And you came with the world in your thoughts, and I made the third.
-We went down into the wilderness together--with that other of the
-underworld. _It was a cosmos._ It has shown me all I can bear. Last
-night, it came to me that I _could_ pray for you. It came simply,
-because I loved you enough----”
-
-His face moved from one to the other, his hand fumbling the dress of
-the child beside him.
-
-“It was very clear. As soon as I loved you enough, I could pray for
-you, without thought of self. It was the loss of the self that made it
-all so wonderful. And as I prayed, the light came, and the Saviour I
-had lost, was in the light. And the light was Ahead; and this message
-from Him, came to my soul:
-
-“_I am here for those who look ahead; and for those who turn back
-two thousand years, I am there. Those who love one another find me
-swiftly._”
-
-Bellair scarcely heard him. Fleury’s eyes were light itself. The man’s
-inner flame had broken through. Something incandescent was within him;
-something within touched by the “glittering plane.” But it did not
-mean future years together. Bellair had wanted that.... Fleury smiled
-now, his eyes lost in the East. He lifted his hand.
-
-“It always comes from the East,” he said strangely.
-
-Bellair had searched that horizon a few moments ago. He knew exactly
-how the East had looked--a thin luminous grey line on the green,
-brightening to Prussian blue, then to vivid azure. He dared not look
-now, but watched the woman.
-
-Straining and terror were in her eyes--then sudden light, a miracle of
-light and hope, then her cry.
-
-Bellair seemed to see it in her mind--the smudge upon the
-horizon--before he turned. It was there--a blur on the thin grey line.
-
-To lift the oars was like raising logs of oak, but he shipped the pair
-at last, listening for the words of the others and watching their
-faces. It seemed simpler than straining his eyes to the East. Fleury
-tried to raise the overcoat from the bottom of the boat, but it fell
-from his hands, and he sank back smiling:
-
-“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “They’re coming. They’ll see us soon.”
-
-To Bellair it was like seeing a ghost, that smile of Fleury’s. It meant
-something that in the future would be quite as important to him as the
-ship’s bearing down to lift them up. He pulled toward the east--felt
-the old fainting come, pulled against that,--to the east, until a
-low, thundering vibration was all about him, like the tramp of death.
-Perhaps it was that--the thought flickered up into form out of the deep
-blur.... He was drinking water again. This time he did not fight.
-
-“You may as well have yours, Bellair, man,” Fleury was saying, “and you
-need not row. They’re coming. It’s a ship coming fast. There is light
-for them to see us well--if they do not already----”
-
-“But you haven’t drunk!”
-
-“Bless you, I’ll drink now.”
-
-The woman handed him the water. The cup was in his hand. He covered
-merely the bottom of the cup, and made much of it as if it were a full
-quart.
-
-“The fact is--I’m not thirsty,” he said pitifully, when he saw their
-faces.
-
-“You’re all in,” Bellair said in an awed tone.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Through the prolonged ending of that day Bellair watched the steamer
-near, but his thoughts were not held to the beauty of her form, nor
-the pricking out at last of her lights. He stood against the bare pole
-in the dusk, and waved and called--his voice little and whimsical. It
-seemed to falter and cling within their little radius, then run back
-to his ears--a fledgeling effort. But the deep baying of the steamer
-answered at last. Even that could not hold Bellair’s thoughts.... She
-was coming straight toward them now. If it were death and illusion, so
-be it; at least that is what he saw.
-
-“It would be all right--except for him,” Bellair said to the woman.
-
-“I tell you all is well,” said Fleury. “Only I ask----”
-
-“Yes,” they said, when he paused.
-
-“Don’t let them separate us--when we are on board the ship to-night.
-I want to be with you both to-night--we three who have seen so much
-together--and the little man.”
-
-... They heard her bells and the slackening of the engines. She was
-coming in softly like an angel, bringing the different life, a return
-to earth it was. The woman was weeping. Bellair could not have spoken
-without tears....
-
-Just now through the evening purple, he saw _that_ star in the east,
-off the point of the steamer’s prow.
-
-“Fleury,” he said, “tell me--what is that one--that pure one--I have
-forgotten?”
-
-The preacher’s eyes followed his finger.
-
-“That is Spika--Spika of the Virgin,” he said.
-
-
- 12
-
-The engine had stopped. She neared in the deep dusk, a harp of lights,
-and with the steady sound of a waterfall.... She was just moving.
-There was a hail from the heights.
-
-“Hai!” answered Bellair. It was a poor, broken sound.
-
-Now they felt the strange, different heat of the
-steamer--earth-heat--and a thousand odours registered on their clean
-senses--milk and meat, coal-smoke, and the steam of hot ashes,
-perfumes, metal and paint.... A hoarse voice called down:
-
-“Are any of you sick--infectious?”
-
-“No--just hunger and thirst--clean as a new berth.”
-
-It was Bellair again.
-
-“Stay off well. We’re putting down a ladder. Watch the green light.”
-
-They saw it come down to them--to the very water. Then they were
-uplifted. This was the world coming back--but a changed world. A great
-kindness had come over all men. Bellair saw the tears in the eyes of
-the people gathered on the deck. He almost expected to see Bessie
-Brealt there.... Perhaps the change had come from her singing.... There
-was a choke in the voices of the people gathered around them.
-
-“Please,” he managed to say, “don’t keep us apart to-night--we three.
-Please let us be together.”
-
-And down the deck-passage he heard the voices of women, and among
-them, the Faraway Woman’s voice, in answer:
-
-“Yes, I will go with you thankfully--but not for long. My companions
-and I must be together very soon. We three--to-night--it is promised
-between us.”
-
-There was no voice from Fleury.
-
-The kindness of every one, that was like a poignant distress to
-Bellair. He dared not speak; in fact, there was danger of him breaking
-down even without words. The eyes about him were searching, in their
-eagerness to help. An Englishman came forward at intervals and gripped
-his hand; a German spoke to others of the remarkable condition of
-the boat and its three, after ten days; another German moved in and
-out helping, without any words, though his eyes lifted Bellair over
-several pinches of emotion. The American ship-doctor was the best
-of all; young, gruff, humorous, quick-handed, doing and saying the
-right thing.... They brought him stimulants and sups of water by the
-teaspoon. The merest aroma of thin broth in the bottom of a tea-cup
-was lifted to his lips. He was helped to a hot bath; a splendid quiet
-friendliness about it all. Now it occurred to Bellair that they were
-tremendously eager to hear his story. He wanted to satisfy them....
-
-“It was the fifth day--that Stackhouse died,” he was saying, though he
-was mistaken. “Perhaps you’ve heard of him ... owns a lot of ships and
-islands down here.... That was the climax for us. He died hard and he
-was a big man--but we did not murder him.... His body did not sink....”
-
-There was a boom of running water in the bathroom; the steam rising.
-Bellair’s voice was ineffectual. The face of the ship-surgeon bent to
-him in the steam, saying:
-
-“Cut it--there’s plenty of time.... Leave it all to us.... I say, lean
-back. You’ve got a bath coming. Guess you’ve never been on a sick-list
-before. We can wait for the story.”
-
-Bellair did try to lean back. One by one, the sheathes of will power
-that he had integrated in the past ten days relaxed. It was strange to
-feel them go. They had come hard, and they were correspondingly slow
-to ease in their grip. He had to be told again and again--to be helped
-to rest. It was good to think that a man does not lose such hard-won
-strength more easily than it comes--that one, in fact, has to use the
-same force to relax with. It was all delightful, this friendliness, the
-ease of his body, and the giving--the giving into human arms of great
-kindliness, and the sense of the others being cared for similarly. They
-had fixed a berth for him, when he said:
-
-“You know we are to be together to-night. It was a compact between
-us----”
-
-The surgeon was out and in. It occurred to Bellair that he was
-attending the other two.... He repeated his wish to the surgeon about
-joining the others as soon as possible.
-
-“They’re all alike,” the latter said. “They’re all thinking about
-getting together again.... Good God, man, you’ve had ten days of steady
-company. You ought to sleep----”
-
-“It is a compact between us.... Is he--is he?”
-
-It came to Bellair that this man might be able to tell him the truth,
-but the surgeon was now at the door speaking to one of the Germans. He
-vanished without turning....
-
- * * * * *
-
-They were together later in one of the empty cabins of the German
-liner, _Fomalhaut_, bound for Auckland; and only the American doctor
-came and went. The child was asleep in the berth beside Fleury. The two
-others sat near.
-
-The extraordinary moonlight of the night before, when Bellair had
-awakened to find the preacher at prayer, had left the spirit of its
-radiance upon Fleury’s face. It was there now--and such a different
-face from which his eyes, falsified by New York, had seen at first.
-This was the real Fleury--this lean, dark, white-toothed gamester,
-features touched by some immortal glow from that orient moon; whose
-smile and the quality of every word and gesture, had for him a gleam
-of inspiration and the nobility of tenderness. The man had risen in
-Fleury--that was the secret. And this that had risen in Fleury could
-not die.
-
-But the flesh was dying. Bellair had known it in the dusk while the
-steamer neared. He knew that the woman understood--from her face which
-leaned toward the berth continually, from the suffering in her eyes
-and the dilation of sensitive nostrils.... For ten days, as much as he
-could, Fleury had betrayed himself. Custodian of the food and water,
-he had served them well. And that day of the Stackhouse passing--if it
-were not all a hideous dream, as Bellair fancied at times--he had not
-given a balance of strength that had not returned, to fight off the
-will of the Intruder.
-
-The flesh was dying, but this that had risen in Fleury could not die.
-Their other companion had gone down, clothed in hair and filth and the
-desire of a beast, taking the remnant of the man with it.
-
-Thus it had come to Bellair--the vivid contrast of cavern and high
-noon. It was all in the two deaths, the enactment of the second, as yet
-unfinished.... New York and all life moved with countless tricks and
-lures to make a man lose his way, lose his chance to rise and die with
-grace like this. New York was like one vast Lot & Company.
-
-Fleury’s head was upon the knees of the woman. Bellair had not seen
-her take him. For this last hour, the three were as one. There was a
-cry from Bellair that the woman heard all her days:
-
-“Oh, Fleury, do you have to go?”
-
-So far as time measures, the silence was long before Fleury answered,
-and then only to say:
-
-“Take my hand, Bellair.”
-
-He came up from a deep dream to obey. It had been as if he were out
-under the stars again,--Fleury talking from the shadows near the
-woman--the rest, vastness and starlight.
-
-“It’s the _too-great_ light, Bellair. It came when I could stand it.
-As soon as I could love you enough I could pray. It is the loss of the
-sense of self that made it wonderful. The Light and His voice came from
-ahead.
-
-“‘_I am here for those who look ahead, and for those who turn back
-two thousand years, I am there. Those who love one another find me
-swiftly._’... This is dying of happiness.”
-
-In the silence, the low lights of the cabin came back for their eyes.
-They heard him say at the last:
-
-“... I love you both and respect and thank you both. We found our
-happiness in the open boat.... And Bellair, when you go back to New
-York, do not stay too long. It is right for you to go, but do not stay
-too long.... And dear Bellair--always follow the Gleam.”
-
-The Doctor came. It was his step in the passage that roused them. He
-bent to the face, then searched the eyes of the woman. She could not
-find his.... Bellair was puzzled. The head was in her lap, yet the
-preacher seemed behind them, and still with something to say. They were
-not sure at first that it was the Doctor who asked:
-
-“Why did you not call me?”
-
-He repeated the question.
-
-“He told us--you would come afterward,” Bellair said in a dazed way.
-
-“Yes, he wanted it so,” said the woman.
-
-The Doctor stared at them. “Are you two going to pull off anything
-further to-night, or are you going to get the rest you need, and attend
-to the nourishment you need?”
-
-“We’re under orders now, Doctor,” said Bellair....
-
-“If I should want him in the night--if I should be frightened, you
-would let him come?”
-
-It was the Faraway Woman who asked this of the Doctor, her hand
-touching Bellair’s sleeve.
-
-“Why, of course,” the Doctor answered quickly.
-
-“We’ve been together in strange things,” Bellair explained. “And now
-you see, our friend is gone.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-The door was open between their cabins, but Bellair was not called.
-Once he heard the child cry, but it was quickly hushed.... He
-thought it must be near morning at last, and went on deck. He was not
-suffering, except from lassitude, deep languor and numbing strangeness
-that Fleury was not near him--that the woman was not sitting in her
-place forward.... It was just after midnight, the moon still high,
-the weather the same. ... He was not seen. Three men were seated
-smoking in the lee of one of the engine-room funnels, the light from
-the dining-saloon on their knees. The Doctor joined them, and said
-presently:
-
-“... It’s a bit deep for me. They’ve been in an open boat ten days. Old
-Stackhouse, well-known down here, died of thirst the fourth or fifth
-day, but these two and the infant have lived through it. The preacher
-looked all right, but seems to have suffered a fatal case of happiness
-since we lifted him aboard. The two knew it was coming apparently, and
-arranged for me to be absent.... It appears that they made a sort of
-pilgrimage to Mecca out of thirst and starvation, and got away with
-it----”
-
-Bellair withdrew softly.
-
-In the long next forenoon when he could not rise, he wished he had gone
-into that open door, when he was on his feet last night. Sometimes
-half-dreamily he wished he were back in the open boat, because she
-was always there. Something had taken establishment in his character
-from that ten days. She had never failed--in light or dark, in the
-twilights of dawn and evening, in moon and star and sunlight--always
-there; disclosing leisurely some new aspect of beauty for him. He
-understood now that one does not begin to see clearly any object until
-one is attracted to it--that all the cursory _looking at things_ around
-the world will not bring them home to the full comprehension.
-
-... He could call to her, but it was like telephoning. He had never
-liked that, and beside he was not the master of his voice. It would
-not go straight, but lingered in corners, broke pitifully--so that he
-knew it frightened her--and the meanings in his mind which he could not
-speak, pressed the tears out of his eyes.... Then there was pain. His
-body astonished him. He had merely been weak and undone last night, but
-to-day.... And he knew that she was suffering, not from any sound from
-her cabin, but because she did not come. Then _they_ had to feed the
-child. This filled him with a rebellion so sharp that it recalled him
-to full faculties for a second. He had to smile at his absurdity.
-
-The second day it was the same, but the third Bellair arose; and when
-she heard his step, her call came. It was still early morning. He found
-the child before he looked into her face.
-
-“I am ashamed to be so weak,” she said. “But to-day--a little later--he
-said I could rise. We are to be on deck for a half-hour after dinner,
-he told me.”
-
-“The little Gleam----” said Bellair....
-
-She was whiter, more emaciated than when they sighted the
-_Fomalhaut_. There had been a crisis that they had not expected in
-the relinquishment of their will-powers.... Yet he saw how perfectly
-her face was fashioned.... Her hand came up to him, warm from the
-child, the sleeve falling back to her shoulder--held toward him, palm
-upward. As he took it, all strangeness and embarrassment left him, and
-he was something that he had not been for five years, something from
-the Unknowable. But that was not all. He looked into her eyes and met
-something untellably familiar there.
-
-A most memorable moment to Bellair.
-
- * * * * *
-
-They were on deck together in the afternoon, the American doctor
-helping them. They heard sacred music--as he walked between them aft.
-They reached the rail of the promenade overlooking the main-deck.... A
-service was being intoned in German. Passengers and crew were below,
-and in the midst--leaded and sewn in canvas, in the cover of a flag----
-
-The sound that came from the woman was not to be interpreted. She
-turned and left them. Bellair would have followed but he felt a
-courtesy due the Doctor, who had arranged for them not to miss the
-ceremony. Perhaps he had held the ceremony until they could leave the
-cabin. Yet Bellair had already turned away.
-
-“Good God----” said the American. “You people have got me stopped. I
-thought this was a trinity outfit--that we picked up.”
-
-Bellair took his hand. “It was--but our friend left us.”
-
-The Doctor glanced at him curiously, and pointed down to the body
-already upon the rail. “I suppose _that_ has nothing to do with him?”
-he remarked.
-
-“Not now--not to watch,” said Bellair.
-
-“I’ll understand you sometime,” the other added. “Go to her. You’ll
-probably find her waiting for you forward.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Bellair lay in his berth that night, the open door between, and he
-thought of that first real look that had passed between them. “I’m not
-just right yet from the open boat,” he reflected. “I’m all let down
-from starvation, a bit wild with dreams and visions, but I saw old joys
-there and old tragedies, and mountains and deserts and--most of all,
-partings. I wonder what I’ve got to do with them all? It seemed to me
-that I belonged to some of those partings--as if I had hungered with
-her before and belonged to her now--and yet----”
-
-Fleury came into his thoughts. “They were certainly great together. It
-seemed to me that I did not belong when they were together; and yet,
-this morning as I looked down at her--well, something of expectancy was
-there----”
-
-Bellair found himself lying almost rigid in the intensity of his hope.
-Then his thoughts whirled back to New York--all unfinished. There was
-something in his heart for Bessie--and something in the wallet for
-Bessie. That was in the original conception, and he must not fail in
-that; and then he must clean that name, Bellair, from the black mark
-Lot & Company had traced across it. For a moment he fell to wondering
-just how he would go about that. Lot & Company was tight and hard to
-move.... A moment later he was somewhere in an evil and crowded part of
-New York, in the dark, Davy Acton holding him fast by the hand.
-
-“... something of expectancy.”... Was it in her eyes, or in her lips?
-Her whole face came to him now, a picture as clear as life. He had
-dwelt upon her eyes before--and that billowy softness of her breast, as
-she lay--he had not thought of that. It was like something one says to
-another of such moment, that only the meaning goes home--the words not
-remembered until afterward. And her mouth--it was like a girl’s, like a
-mother’s too, so tender and _expectant_. ... That word thrilled him. It
-was the key to it all.
-
-He was farther and farther from sleep--listening at last with such
-intensity that it seemed she must call.
-
-
-
-
-PART FIVE
-
-THE STONE HOUSE: I
-
-
- 1
-
-THE woman awed him quite as much as in the open boat. The turning
-of her profile to the sea had for Bellair a significance not to be
-interpreted exactly, but it had to do with firmness and aspiration
-and the future. Fleury was in their minds more than in speech. She
-could speak of him steadily, and this during the sensitiveness of
-convalescence which is so close to tears. Perhaps they found their
-deepest joy in the child’s fresh blooming. The ship’s people were an
-excellent company.
-
-Bellair’s mind adjusted slowly, and by a rather intense process, to
-the fact of the Stackhouse wallet. It was all that the great wanderer
-had said. The woman accepted the lifted condition, but it seemed hard
-for her faculties to establish a relation with temporal plenty. Fleury
-had given them each a greater thing. They were one in that--keen and
-comprehensive; indeed their minds attacked with vigour and ardour this
-one thought: somehow to help in drawing off the brimming sorrows of the
-world.
-
-It came all at once to Bellair that this was no new conception. He had
-heard and read of _helping_ all his life. A touch, queerly electric,
-had come over him as a boy, when a certain old man passed, and some
-one whispered in the most commonplace way, “His whole thought is for
-others.”... He had read it in many books; especially of late, the note
-had been sounded. It was getting into the press--some days on every
-page. All the cultic and social ports, into which he had sailed (like a
-dingy whaler, he thought) had spoken of brotherhood, first and last.
-
-Did a thing like this have to be talked by the few for several thousand
-years before it broke its way into the conception of the many, and
-finally began to draw the materials of action together? It had not been
-new in certain parts of the world two thousand years ago when Jesus
-brought the perfect story of it, and administered it through life and
-death. Had there been too much speech and too little action since; or
-did all this speech help; the result being slow but cumulative, toward
-the end of the clearly-chiselled thought on the part of the majority
-that would compel the atoms of matter into action, making good all
-thoughts and dreams?... He knew men who sat every Sunday listening
-courteously to more or less inspired voices that called upon them to
-_Love One Another_; yet these men, during the next six days, moved as
-usual about their work of rivalry and burning personal desire. Why was
-this?
-
-The answer was in his own breast. He had made a mental conception of
-the good of turning the force of one’s life out to others, but he had
-not lived it; had never thought seriously of living it, until now that
-the results had been shown him, as mortal eyes were never given before
-to see. That was it; men required more than words. Would something
-happen to bring to all men at last the transfiguring facts as they had
-been brought to him in the open boat--squarely, leisurely, one by one?
-He was not different from many men. Given the spectacle of the fruits
-of desire and the fruits of compassion side by side, as he had been
-forced to regard them--any one would understand.
-
-The woman was one of those who had got it all long ago. She had ceased
-to speak of it much, but had put it into action. The child was a part
-of her action, and his own love for her--that new emotion, deeper than
-life to him. She had mainly ceased to speak.... Action and not speech
-had been the way of Fleury, his main life-theme, his first and last
-words. Formerly Fleury had spoken, and then emerged into the world of
-action. It had been tremendous action--for them. These things never
-die.
-
-“That’s the beauty of them,” he said aloud. “These things never die.”
-
-“You were thinking of _him_?” the Faraway Woman said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The _Fomalhaut_ left them at Auckland--insular, high and breezy
-between its harbours and warm to the heart, from the southern summer.
-They took the train to Hamilton, near where she had lived....
-
-“It seems so long since I was a part of the life here,” she told him,
-as they climbed a hill by the long road--the same upon which Olga’s
-Guest had come, “and yet it really isn’t. You can see--how little the
-Gleam is. He was born here.... There was so much to learn. It has been
-like a quick review of all life. When I think of it--and feel the child
-alive, unhurt--oh, do you know what it makes me want to do?”
-
-Bellair was thinking of Fleury. He sensed her emotion, as he shook his
-head.
-
-“It makes me want to work for you.”
-
-Bellair placed her saying to the account of her fine zeal for the
-good of the nearest. He was very far from seeing anything heroic in
-his part of the ten days.... They had paused on the little hill back
-of the settlement where she had lived. With all her coming home, she
-met no acquaintance while he was with her. It was as if she had come
-to look, not to enter.... But there were two days in which she went
-forward alone, and Bellair got a foretaste of what it would mean to be
-separated. It called to him all the strength that he had earned.... The
-Faraway Woman came back to Hamilton where he waited--as one who had
-hastened. The child was asleep, and they walked out into the streets
-together....
-
-They were alone again as in that first night on board the _Fomalhaut_
-when Fleury left them.
-
-“Do you want to stay to make your house near the Hamilton road?” he
-asked.
-
-She regarded him quietly, her eyes fixed upon his face with an
-incommunicable yearning.
-
-“No.”
-
-“Do you mean to stay in New Zealand?”
-
-Again she held him with her eyes, before answering:
-
-“It may be well for me here, as anywhere. I could not stay in America.”
-
-The sun was setting. It was she who broke the silence:
-
-“_You_ must go away?”
-
-“Yes. You knew that from _him_?”
-
-“From what he said--yes.”
-
-“He told me not to stay too long.”
-
-“Perhaps he saw it all. Perhaps he saw something that would keep you.”
-
-“He saw a very great deal.”
-
-They had been gone two hours. Her steps quickened, when she thought
-of the child.... “Yes, I may as well stay in Auckland,” she said.
-“Do you know, I should like to stay by the sea--to be near it, for
-remembering----”
-
-That seemed to come very close to Bellair’s conviction--that her whole
-life was turned to the saint who had passed.
-
-“A little house by the sea,” he said, his mind picturing it eagerly to
-relieve the greater matter.
-
-“Just what I was thinking--a little place out of Auckland on the
-bluffs--overlooking Waitemata--where one could see the ships coming
-in----”
-
-“Will you let me help you find it, and arrange your affairs?”
-
-“Nothing could be happier for me--if you would.”
-
-“We’ll go back to Auckland to-night, and start out looking from there.”
-
-Mainly they followed the shore during their days of search; but
-sometimes they found woods and little towns. There was no coming to
-the end of her; she put on fresh perfections every day, and there were
-moments in which he was meshed in his own stupidity for not seeing
-the splendour of her at the first moment. He became possessed of a
-healthful wonder about women--how men like himself wait for years for
-some companion-soul, finally believing her to be in the sky, only to
-find that _the nearest_ was waiting all the time. The world is so full
-of illusions, and a man’s mind is darkest when it seems most clear.
-
-The days were like entering one walled garden after another, always
-her spirit vanishing at the far gate. Beside him was a strong frail
-comrade, loving the water and air and sky and wood, as only a natural
-woman can love them--her eyes shining softly, her lips parted and red
-as the sleeping child’s. He was struck with the miracle of her mouth’s
-freshness. It was like the mouth of a city-bred woman, a woman who had
-forced her way for years through the difficult passages of a man’s
-world, who had met the fighting of the open, and the heavier-line
-fighting of solitude.... Here Bellair’s diffidence intervened.
-Moreover, it was a mouth that could say unerring things.
-
-“She is a fine weave,” he would say, after the partings at night.
-
-She held through every test. The enthralling advance guard never
-failed--that winged immortal something ahead. Often in some little inn
-or in the hotel at Auckland during the nights, he found himself in
-rebellion because he could not go to her. Always in the open boat he
-had awakened to find her there, and on the night that Fleury passed,
-she had asked to have him within call--but those times were gone. The
-world had intervened that little bit.... There was one summer day
-and a bit of forest to enter, a moment surpassing all. Her arms and
-fingers, her eyes and breast were all fused with emotions. She gave him
-back his boyhood that afternoon in a solemn wordless ceremony, but all
-his diffidence of boyhood came with it.
-
-The woods were full of fairies to her; there were meanings for her eyes
-in the drift of the wind over the brown pools. She caught the woodland
-whispers, was a part of sweet, low vibrations of the air.... Her eyes
-had come up to his, fearless and tender; yet for the life of him, he
-could not have been sure that they wanted anything he could give.
-For the first time he marvelled now at the genius of self-protection
-which women have put on, instinct by instinct, throughout all this age
-of man, this age of muscle and brain, in which the driving spirit of
-it all has no voice.... There was one branch above her that was like
-hawthorn, and full of buds. The little Inverness cape that she wore was
-tossed back, and her arms were held up to the branches.... Strangely
-that instant he thought of her story--the coming of The Guest--the
-thought she had held all the years, the strange restless beauty of its
-ideal--the mothering beauty of it that seemed to him now endless in
-power. Such a mystery came to him from her arms--as if she were holding
-them up to receive perfection, some great spiritual gift.... It was
-startlingly native to her, this expectancy--the pure receptivity of it,
-and the thought of beauty in her mind. A woman could command heaven
-with that gesture, he thought, and call to earth an archangel--if her
-ideal were pure enough.
-
-A sudden gust of love came over him for her child. He thought he had
-loved it before, but it was startling now, filling him, turning his
-steps back toward the place where it lay....
-
-
- 2
-
-And all the time that they were searching widely from Auckland for
-their house, a little Englishwoman, growing old, sat waiting for
-them within an hour’s ride from the city. They found her at last
-and her stone cottage, rarely attractive in its neglect; and from
-the door-yard, an Odessian vista of sky and harbour and lifted
-shore-line.... They had even passed it before, their eyes turned
-farther afield. Bellair couldn’t ignore the analogy of the nearest
-woman, nor the stories of all the great spiritual quests--how the
-fleeces on a man’s doorstep turn golden, if he can only see.
-
-“I knew some one would come,” the little woman said. She had a mole on
-her nose and eyes that twinkled brightly. “In fact, I prayed.”
-
-Bellair smiled and thought of Fleury’s saying--that those who turn back
-two thousand years would find Him.... She had kept a boarding-house,
-and now the work was too much. Besides, the children of a younger
-sister back in the home in Essex were calling to her.
-
-“They need me in England,” she repeated. “And here, I have been unable
-to keep up the little house. I am too old now. My young men were so
-dear about it, but I was not making them comfortable. One’s heart
-turns home at the close----” She thought they did not understand; and
-explained all the meanings carefully--how in age, the temporal needs
-are not so keen, and the mind wanders back to the elder places....
-Bellair stood apart, knowing that the two women could manage better
-alone.... The cottage faced the east a little to northward, and had
-been built of the broken rocks of the bluff and shore, its walls twenty
-inches thick and plastered on the stone within. The interior surprised
-them with its size, two bedrooms facing the sea and two behind, beside
-the living room (for dining, too, according to the early design) and
-the kitchen. They took it as it was, furniture and all, and loved the
-purchase.
-
-For several days she remained with them, helped and explained and
-amplified--suggesting much paint. Each day for an hour or so, there
-were tears. She had found her going not so easy, and the process was
-slow to accustom herself to the long voyage; the sense of detachment
-could not be hurried. She wanted them to see her whole plan of the
-place. Her dream had been to have evergreens cut in patterns and
-flower-beds in stars and crescents. Meanwhile with her years had grown
-up about her the wildest and most natural garniture of the stone
-cottage; vines and shrubs, the pines putting on a sumptuousness of low
-foliage altogether unapproved.
-
-Gradually it was all forgotten but the long voyage, and Bellair could
-help in making the details of that as simple and desirable as possible.
-In fact, he went with her to the ship....
-
-“She was dear to us, and we shall miss her always,” the Faraway Woman
-said that night.... She would never come back. It was a parting, but
-the very lightness of it moved them. They wondered if they had done all
-they could.
-
-“I’m so glad the means were not at hand for her to paint the
-stone-work,” Bellair said firmly.
-
-“I’m afraid she would think we lack interest,” the woman added, as she
-glanced at the smoky beams of the ceiling. The years had softened them
-perfectly.
-
-“She wanted them washed the very first thing,” said Bellair, “and
-varnished. If she had stayed much longer we would have been forced to
-paint something.”
-
-In the days that followed, a softness and summery bloom came
-continually to the Faraway Woman’s eyes. His heart quickened when
-she turned to him. They moved in and out from the cottage to grounds,
-again and again.
-
-“It’s unreal to me,” she would say. “I wonder if it will ever seem
-ours? I know it won’t, while you are away. I could live here fifty
-years until I seemed a part of the cottage and grass and trees, and I
-would feel a pilgrim resting----”
-
-“It is part of you now, and always has been,” he said. “You are at home
-on high ground and you must have the sea-distance. They belong to you.
-I think that is what made you so hard for me to understand.”
-
-“Was I hard for you?”
-
-“I was so fresh from the little distances and the short-sight of
-things--from looking down----”
-
-“I wonder if any one ever was so willing to be seen on his worst side?”
-she asked. “I really believe you know very little about yourself.... He
-saw--the real side.”
-
-“He saw good everywhere,” said Bellair.
-
-“... I wonder why I was strange to you at first?” she repeated, after a
-moment. “You were not strange to me.”
-
-“Not when I spent so much time at the great cane chair?”
-
-“No. You seemed to be studying. I could see that you didn’t belong
-there. You appeared to be interested in it all--as if he were a part of
-the ship----”
-
-“And you didn’t seem to belong at all to my eyes,” he told her. “You
-belonged out in the distances of ocean. You came closer and closer
-during the days in the open boat--but here you belong. It seems to me
-that you have come home--and how I wish I could stay, too.”
-
-“I wish you could stay--but I know that there is unfinished work in New
-York.”
-
-“I wonder how _he_ knew?” Bellair questioned.
-
-“He saw very clearly. He was not flesh at all--that last day----”
-
-“After the night--when he prayed.... You saw him that night?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-Her innate sense of beauty startled him afresh every day. All that he
-idealised was an open book to her. Bellair had planned his house in the
-New York room. The greatest houses are planned so, by those who suffer
-and are confined. It had not come to him in the form of this stone
-cottage by the sea. This was not his dream that had come true here,
-although in many ways it was fairer than his dream. Very plainly, this
-little rock-bound eyrie was of her fashioning--the very atoms of it,
-drawing together to conform with the picture in her mind. He loved the
-place better so. Perhaps her thought of a home had been the stronger.
-
-“It is almost perfect now,” she would say. “The neglect has made
-it right. A few roses, some bee-hives, vines and perennials--the
-rest is just clearing and cleansing. I could go over all the leaves
-and branches with a soapy sponge. The rest is to prune and thin and
-cleanse--so the sunlight is not shut from anywhere altogether--so it
-all can breathe----”
-
-He caught the picture in her mind--foliage cut away for the play of sun
-and wind everywhere--the chaste and enduring beauty of leaf and stone
-and moving water. And now appeared a bit of her nature quite as real:
-
-“And then those extra two rooms, I could rent them and give board----”
-
-“Oh, but you don’t have to.”
-
-“I have always had much to do. I must have work now.”
-
-She had no realisation of property; material poverty was a part of her
-temperament. She was superbly well, and could only remain so by the
-expenditure of ample energy. Bellair saw the Martha soul, the mother of
-men, a breadgiver. He thought of the passion of men for the vine-women,
-and of the clinging sons they bear.... He lingered over a ship, and
-another. They toiled together like two peasants in the open, the baby
-sitting in the sun, the house ashine within. She would have only the
-simple things. She loved fine textures, but only of the lasting fabrics
-in woods and wares. She was content to carry water and trim lamps.
-She loved the stones and the low open fires. Often she turned away
-seaward, as he had seen her from the _Jade’s_ rail, and from the bow
-seat of the open boat. Once in the garden, he made the child laugh, to
-bring back her eyes, and she said:
-
-“I love it so here, but I don’t want to love it, so that it would hurt
-terribly, if it were taken away.”
-
-This was but one side. There were other moments, in which Bessie and
-New York and all that he and the Faraway Woman had been, seemed fused
-into a ball of mist whirling away, and they stood together, man and
-woman, touching sanity at last in a world of power and glory. It was
-not then a time for words.... Once their hands went out together, and
-holding for a moment, Bellair had the strange sense of the self sinking
-from him. He could not feel his hand or any part of his being--as if it
-were a part of her, two creatures blent into one, and an indescribable
-rush of something different than physical vitality.
-
-And once sitting with her under the lamp in the evening, he drew again
-that sense of peace that had come in the queer darkness on the deck of
-the _Jade_. It had to do with the mountains--as if they had finished
-with the valleys, and were ascending together in the strong light of
-the mountains.
-
-And then there was passion--that plain, straight earth drive. Bellair
-was strange about this with the Faraway Woman. This passion was like
-the return of an old hunting companion, so natural in the wilds, but
-strange and out of place in his newly-ordered life. It had come from
-the Unknowable, and he had supposed it lost in that wilderness. It
-dismayed him that _she_ should call it forth, but she called from him
-everything day by day, and no day the same. He had lost much of the
-old, but not that passion. And the nature of it which she called had
-a bewildering beauty.... But there was much to keep the old native of
-the wilds from really entering. The world would have called Bellair’s
-idealism _naïve_; and there was something of Fleury in the very
-solution of their lives--not a finger-print of passion in all that
-relation. There was the Unfinished Story of Ogla’s Guest. Finally there
-was the Gleam.
-
-Life was very full and rare to Bellair, but there seemed always a new
-ship in the harbour flying Blue Peter for California.... In the main,
-they forgot themselves, as unwatched man and woman, slept under the
-same roof and had their food together; at least, Bellair forgot it for
-hours at a time. It seemed the very nature of life; the purity of it
-all so obvious.... One afternoon he came up from the city in a cool
-south wind; a grey afternoon, the sunset watery and lemon-hued. He was
-thinking of the ship that would float Blue Peter to-morrow. The homely
-scent of damp bark burning quickened his senses, as he crossed the
-yard, and he heard her singing to the child. Somehow the woodsmoke had
-brought back to him a Spring day in the northern woods--grey light and
-dark pools, all foliage baby-new, a song-sparrow pair trilling back and
-forth from edge to open....
-
-He saw her in one of the rare flashes of life. She was sitting by the
-fireplace, the nearest window across the room. Her figure was softened
-in the deep grey light to the pure sensousness of motherhood--except
-her face, hands and boots, and that which she held. These were mellowed
-in the faintest orange glow from the firelight. Her back was curved
-forward, her face bent to the baby’s head, held high in the hollow of
-her arms. The dress was caught tightly about her ankles--a covering
-pliant almost as a night-robe, but that was a mystery of the shadows.
-She was like the figure of some woman he had seen somewhere--some woman
-of the river-banks, but this a Madonna of the firelight. He passed on,
-and waited before speaking.
-
-
- 3
-
-They went a last time to the city.... There was a place for a chair,
-and they had seen an old urn in a by-street which belonged near the
-Spring. They felt that these products of men had to be just so, and
-that they had earned a great boon in being given a part at stone
-cottage. The things that were brought there must endure; must reason
-together in long leisure concord, putting on the same inner hue at the
-last and mellowing together as old friends, or old mates. This time,
-Bellair’s eyes did not meet the city quite as before; it was not as
-a stranger exactly, who rambles through a port while his ship lies
-in the offing. His real berth was an hour’s ride back from the city
-and made of stone. Perhaps later he would find work to do here.... A
-child passed them in the store, and brought the change after their
-purchase--a boy of twelve or fourteen, his face old with care. It made
-Bellair think of Davy Acton at Lot & Company’s. They bought a bit of
-glass, a bit of silver, some linen and a rug, and rode home with their
-arms full.
-
-Another letter had come from one of the Island headquarters of
-Stackhouse, in answer to Bellair’s inquiry concerning affairs. The
-papers in the wallet had given him clues to the various insular
-interests; and the replies, without exception, represented the
-attitudes of agents ready and open to authority from without.
-Stackhouse had left no centre of force that appeared to have vitality
-enough to rise in its own responsibility. Bellair saw that sooner or
-later he must make a visit to these different interests, and that
-the place of the wallet for the time being, at least, amounted
-to headquarters. He wrote as explicitly as possible in reply to
-the letters, promised to call in due course, established a freedom
-where his judgment permitted, but felt the whole vast business very
-loosely in hand. New York was first, and it became very clear to him,
-especially on this night, that New York must be entered upon without
-further delay. There was a thrill of dismay in the thought of the weeks
-that had passed, and the dreaming. Dreams were good. He had needed
-these days; great adjustments and healings had taken place. It had
-been the pleasant lull between the old and new, the only rest his life
-had known, in fact. All its beauty was massed into the period--but the
-dreams must be turned into action now.
-
-A man may stay just so long in joy. There are moments in every life
-when the hour strikes for parting. The lover does well to leave his
-lady then quickly. There is an understanding in the world that the
-woman invariably whispers, _Stay_, but very often an organisation of
-force that makes austerity possible, does not come from the man alone.
-If the moment of parting passes, the two still lingering together, a
-shadow enters between them, blurring their faces for each other’s eyes,
-dimming the dream.
-
-It does not come from without. The train missed, the passage paid for
-and not connected, the column that marches away, one set broken,
-the sentry post to which a strange figure is called--these are but
-matters to laugh at afterward. The shadow comes between them from their
-own failure. It is slow to lift. In the final elevation of romance,
-there shows one sunken length.... There is the moment of meeting and
-the moment of parting; that which lies between, whether an hour or
-generation, forms but the equal third, for the great love intervals of
-human kind are not measured by time, but by the opening of the doors
-of the heart. By the very laws of our being, the doors draw together
-against rapture prolonged. The man who crosses the world to live
-one day with his sweetheart, sees her at last in the doorway or the
-trysting-place as he cannot see her again; and in the tear of parting,
-something different of her, something that has been occulted, clears
-magically for his eyes. It must not blind him to remain, for it is her
-gift to abide with him over the divide. It passes, not to come again
-if he remains; rapture falls into indulgence; the fibre of integrity
-weakens and lets them down into mere mortals. Man is not ready for
-the real revelation of romance in whom a master does not arise at the
-stroke.
-
- * * * * *
-
-That night there was a _mew_ at the door. They had finished tea and
-were sitting by the fire. The woman opened the door and a young
-tabby-puss walked leisurely in, moved in a circle about the room, tail
-held high. Chair and table and lounge, she brushed against, standing
-upon her toes, eyes blinking at the fire. The woman brought a saucer of
-milk. The visitor drank, as if that were all very well, but that she
-could have done well enough until breakfast. Apparently it was not her
-way to land upon friends in a starving condition. Before the fire, she
-now sat, adding a point to her toilet from time to time, inspecting it
-carefully and long. Finally she turned to the woman, hopped upon her
-knee and settled to doze. She had accepted them, and they called her
-_Elsie_.
-
-“Little-Else-to-do,” said the woman.
-
-They stood beside the child’s bed later that night.
-
-It rained, and the home closed in upon them with its cheer and humble
-beauty. He saw her hand now in everything--even the rungs of the chairs
-shone in the firelight. The hearth was swept. Her face--it was a place
-of power, and such a fusion of tenderness was there, the eyes pure
-and merciful. All that he had known before her coming was unfinished,
-explanatory. She had shown him what a human adult woman should be in
-this year of our Lord. His soul yearned to her; his whole life nestling
-to this place of hers--as her stone cot nestled to the cliff.... She
-was always very quiet about her love for the child when he was near.
-That was because he loved the Gleam so well.... Yet he had seen the
-Firelight Madonna.
-
-“You have made it all I can do--to go away,” he said.
-
-“I have thought of that--I might have made it easier. I have thought of
-that,” she repeated. “And yet--we were so tired. We seemed to need to
-be ourselves. It has been beautiful--to be ourselves----”
-
-It seemed to him that she came nearer, but that was impossible for the
-child was between.... Just then his mind finished the other picture--of
-her arms held up to the hawthorn buds--a babe of his own in those
-arms! He would have fought to prevent its coming, but it visualised
-of itself. Had it been that which enchanted the woodland?... He was
-silent. She had become even more to him for this instant. He would not
-call it other than beautiful, now that it had come. She was more than
-ever the heart of mystery--the Quest. She knew all these things--love
-and maternity she knew; even the passionate fluting of Pan had
-quickened her eyes; and where she abode, there was the genius of Home.
-
-So slowly had it come--perhaps this was not all. For weeks he had
-stood by--day after day, the heart of her becoming more spacious and
-eloquent; one miracle of the woman after another--finally, to-night
-the mystery of all life about her, for his eyes. Yet to her it was no
-mystery; she was _of it_, rhythmically so. She knew the dream--and the
-life that comes at last to quicken it. She could love; she could live;
-she could wait. She loved God--but loved Nature, too. She was spirit,
-but flesh, too. She was powerful in two worlds....
-
-So Bellair stood with bowed head, and though Bessie was forgotten,
-Fleury was not. It was still with him that Fleury and the Faraway Woman
-were fashioned for each other.... “She may be so wonderful to me,
-because she trusts me to understand----” such was the essence of his
-fear. It kept his heart dumb.... That night she brought a pitcher of
-water and placed it upon the hearth, looked up and found him watching.
-
-“For the fairies,” she said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-That changed him a little, brought her nearer to words of his; though
-the effort to speak was like lifting a bridge. She was leaving for her
-room when he managed:
-
-“Day after to-morrow--the steamer. May we not talk to-night?”
-
-He saw her stop. Then she was coming toward him so gladly.
-
-“Yes--you want the rest of the story?”
-
-“Yes.... I have been sorry that _he_ couldn’t hear it----”
-
-She stood before him, tall and white.
-
-“I think you are like me,” she said in a moment. “I think you have
-something behind you that you do not tell--something that made you
-what you are--yet greater than you seem to yourself.... I would have
-told you while _he_ was with us, but you know how the days passed and
-we could not hold our thoughts together. Then there were times when
-we could not even use our voices.... Do you know that the world is
-wonderful--that the thousands about us do not even dream how wonderful
-it is--how tremendous even miseries are? Sometimes I think that the
-tragedies we meet are our greatest hours.”
-
-“You have met them,” he said, a part of her spirit almost. “I have
-seen them in your eyes. It gave me the sense of shelter with you and
-limitless understanding---”
-
-“I am thankful for that,” she whispered. “When we have understanding,
-we have everything. Those who in their childhood are made to suffer
-horribly are often the ones who reach understanding. Sometimes they
-suffer too much and become dulled and dumb. Sometimes in the very ache
-of their story, which can be so rarely told, they risk the telling to
-some one not ready. It aches so, as its stays and stays untold. Oh, the
-whole world craves understanding, and yet if we tell our story to one
-who is not ready--we hurt them and ourselves, and add unto our misery.
-There are moments set apart in life in which one finds understanding,
-but the world presses in the next day, and the story does not look so
-well. The spirit of it fades and the actions do not seem pure when the
-spirit is out--so one loses a loved friend. Oh, I am talking vaguely.
-It is not my way to talk vaguely--but to-night--it is like a division
-of roads, and a story is to be told---”
-
-“Do you think the story will diminish in my mind to-morrow?” he asked.
-
-“No--not you. I have seen you through the sunlight and the dark looking
-into my eyes for it. If I thought it would diminish in your mind--yes,
-I would tell it just the same. It must be told--but life would not be
-the same. Even this, our little stone cot, would not be the same. I
-should have to become harder and harder to hold--to follow the Gleam----
-
-“... I shall be Olga in the rest of the story,” she was saying. “For
-I am Olga.... The truth is, I have no other name. There is one that
-I used, and another that I formerly used--but they are not mine. You
-shall see.... My father prospered with the sheep-raising, and slowly on
-the long road that you have seen, houses came one by one, until at last
-there was a village about us. My father was like the village father,
-and my mother the source of its wisdom in doctoring and maternal
-affairs--she had learned by bringing forth. But I was not of them--they
-all saw that. The coming of plenty, the coming of the people, the
-coming of men to woo my sisters, and the maidens my brothers brought
-for us to see, before they took them quite away--none of these things
-were so real to me as the coming of my Guest when I was such a little
-girl. And none remembered that--not even my mother. Until I ceased to
-speak of it, they tried to make me think it was a dream. But I knew
-that rapture. It had changed me. I was always to search for it again. I
-was always looking for another such night--for that afterglow again. I
-was the last child and the silent one.
-
-“But all that had to do with children was intimate and wonderful to
-me.... I remember once when we were all girls at home together, and
-they were talking--each of what she should have for her treasure from
-the household--one walnut, one silver, one an inlaid desk--and they
-turned to me laughingly, for I was not consulted as a rule, I said I
-wanted the little hickory cradle in an upper closet. It was one of
-those household days which girls remember.... All was happier then.
-The little cradle seemed like a casket in which jewels had come to my
-mother--seven times. We had all smiled at her first from that hickory
-cradle.... I went up stairs to look at it--a dim place full of life and
-messages to me. I was weak; my arms ached; and it was so dear that I
-dare not say that it was mine.... My father said the cradle must belong
-to the eldest girl.
-
-“... I began to sense the terrible actuality of life through the
-mating of Lois, ten years older, with a countryman who came for her.
-For sisters, Lois and I had always been far apart, and this stranger
-who wished to marry her, had nothing to do with life as I dreamed
-it--a child of twelve. To many, Lois was the loveliest of us--large,
-calm, dark and quiet, very well, slow of speech, but quick to smile.
-Had you visited our house then, you would have remembered my father’s
-patriarchal air, the smile of Lois, and the maternity that brooded
-over us all. The rest you would get afterward--a variety of young
-people with different faults and attractions--I the grey one, last to
-be noted. Lois was given credit for more than she was. I do not love
-brain or power, but I seem to love courage. Lois had something to take
-the place of these--not courage--and no, not power nor brain. She had
-sensuousness and appetite.
-
-“One night I seemed to see what the whole house was straining for--a
-kind of process of marriage continually afoot. Just now it was Lois.
-I remember my father being called into the front room where Lois and
-Collinge had been for an evening--his face beaming when he came forth,
-and my mother’s quiet sanction. There were conferences after that,
-dressmaking, the arrangement of money affairs. And I was suddenly ill
-with it. To me, there could be no trade or public business. To me, it
-had to do with a child and that was consecrated ground. Oh, you must
-see it had to be different. I wanted it like a stroke of lightning.
-I did not understand but I wanted it like that--like a flight of
-swans--and not talk and property transactions. To me it had to do with
-rain and frost and the tides and the pulses of plants--the silent
-things. I did not understand--but knew that children came to those who
-took each other.
-
-“I remember one supper; the countryman talked--talked of the marriage
-day--the breakfast, the ceremony--the end and the dusk, and turned to
-Lois with sleepy half-folded eyes. She was smiling and flushed--and I
-looked from face to face at the table, at my sisters--and I rushed away
-because I could find nothing pure.... Some one said my mother never
-looked prettier.... I remember the flood of honeysuckle perfume that
-came to me in the torture of hatred, as I passed through the distant
-hall.... And then later from the top of the stairs, Lois and my mother
-were talking, and Lois said:
-
-“‘You know, Mother, we will not have children for the first three
-years, at least----’”
-
-“I was somehow below by her in the lower hall. She seemed a rosy pig
-upstanding, marked red and flaming.... And that night long afterward,
-my mother found me and said, ‘You are getting beyond me, Olga.’ ...
-But I could only think of men and women copying the squirrels,
-filling their bins, dressing their door-yards, reaching for outer
-things--and it was back of my very being--back of the mother and the
-patriarch--back of the shepherding and the folding--back of _me_.
-I hated life with destroying hatred--Lois wanting the seasons, but
-unwilling to bring forth fruit, accepting the countryman’s idea of
-life.... Can you see that it had the look of death to me?”
-
-Bellair could only bow his head. To him the woman was revealing the
-grim days through which she had won her poise and power.... She was
-telling another incident with the same inclination--for the thought
-of being a mother had been the one master of her days. He seemed to
-see the child, the girl, the younger woman about her--a grey-eyed,
-red-lipped girl, with a waist that was smaller and smaller as she
-gained in inches from fifteen to eighteen--madness for mothering,
-passionate in that, but not passionate for sensation--her face
-sometimes so white, that they would ask her mother, “Is Olga quite
-well?”... Yet teeming with that intensive health that goes with small
-bones and perfect assimilation--that finds all to sustain life in fruit
-and leaves ... books, light sleeping, impassioned with the lives of
-great women and the saints--one of those who come to the world for
-devotion and austerity and instant sacrifice; yet for none of these
-apart; rather a fruitful vine, her prevailing and perennial passion
-for motherhood.
-
-“And yet I almost ceased to breathe,” she was saying, “when I came to
-understand man’s part in these things. I felt _myself_ differently
-after that--even children--but from this early crisis which so many men
-and women have met with untellable suffering, emerged a calm that could
-not have come without it. The travail brought me deep into the truth.
-For all great things the price must be paid--how wonderfully we learned
-that in the open boat. There are sordid processes in the production of
-all fine things--even in the bringing forth of a Messiah.”
-
-She paused, as if she saw something enter the eyes that had listened
-so fervently. Bellair cleared his voice. “I remember something _he_
-said,” he told her. “That matter is the slate--spirit the message that
-is written. The slate is broken, the message erased, but _eyes_ have
-seen it, and the transaction is complete. For the spirit has integrated
-itself in expression----”
-
-“I think he said it, for you to tell me now,” the Faraway Woman
-whispered.
-
-“Only _he_ could have halted your story,” Bellair added.
-
-“... I told you when my Guest came in the afterglow, of the house
-of our nearest but distant neighbour; now I am telling you of years
-afterward, when there were many houses between on the long road, and
-my playmate Paul had gone away to Sidney. Lois had long been married. I
-was seventeen--and so strangely and subtly hungering--for expression,
-for something that I did not know, which meant reality to me, but which
-was foreign and of no import to all about me. Often at evening I stared
-up the long road.... I remember late one night in the nearest house,
-the soft wind brought me the cry of a child. It was so newly come and
-it was not well. I went to it just as I was, though the people had just
-moved in and were strange to us. It was thirst--as we know. I went to
-it, as we would have gone to a waterfall. The door of their house was
-locked, but I knocked. The father came down at last. The lower rooms
-were filled with unpacked boxes. I told him why I had come. He talked
-to me strangely. He went upstairs and sent the mother down to me. It
-did not seem as if I could live through that night--and not have my
-way. She put her arms about me, led me upstairs to a room that was
-not occupied--save a chair by the window. I stood there waiting until
-she returned with the child.... I saw lights back in our house when
-they missed me--voices, but I could not go. In the early light I heard
-the woman saying to my mother: ‘... We really needed her so. Baby was
-restless, but he is much better and quiet with her. They are very happy
-together.... Yes, she is safe and well.’”
-
-The Faraway Woman left him now to go to the child.
-
-
- 4
-
-Returning, she put the kettle on, and made tea in the earthen pot. To
-Bellair her coming into the room again was a replenishment--as if she
-had been gone for hours; and this started a pang deep in his heart,
-which presently suffused everything when he realised that his ship had
-come for him. It was past midnight.... In reality it was to-morrow that
-his ship would sail.
-
-“You listen wonderfully,” she said.
-
-“It seems all about the little Gleam,” he answered. “It makes
-everything significant about the open boat.... I forget to swallow----”
-
-They laughed together.
-
-“Do you know, I can hardly realise when we are here--that this is New
-Zealand?” she said presently, “that only a little way back is the long
-road and the river and the ravine--the neighbour’s house and ours and
-the other houses between.... I will tell you the rest very quickly--and
-oh, let me tell you first, I am not afraid. In spite of all I know, I
-am not----”
-
-She was bending forward across the table.
-
-“... I was a woman when Paul came back from the distant city--and came
-first of all to me. He was changed--something excellent about his
-face and carriage, and something I did not understand at all, his
-face deeper lined, his voice lower, his words ready. I did not think
-about him when he was away. In the first evenings we passed together,
-I had only an old-time laugh for him. I kissed him with something
-like affection. We were permitted to be alone together, and I saw the
-old look upon my father’s face--that I had hated so. That look--even
-before the playmate thing had departed from me. Then I began to _see_
-Paul--something I could not like nor understand, a readiness of words,
-and he was not wise enough to make them ring deeply. I seemed to be
-studying in him the novelty of a man--through the eyes of a girl.
-
-“One night we were together in my father’s house. It was our Spring and
-raining softly on the steps. The grass seemed full of odours, and the
-vines trembling with life. He kissed me there. It seemed that I hardly
-knew. I was looking over his shoulder into the dark, and I saw a little
-white face. It was like a rain-washed flower ... and to me it was quite
-everything.
-
-“... Everything that I had known and loved--compensation for all that I
-had missed and hungered for. Only the little face--but I knew the arms
-were held out to me.
-
-“Paul knew nothing of this. He was not to blame. It was not he, who
-carried me away. He was merely being the man he fancied--playing the
-thing as the world had taught him--showing himself fervent and a man.
-I could have laughed at his kisses.... I have nothing against him.
-It was his way.... But once he kissed me--and it came to me that he
-was the way--that he must join his call to mine.... I could do all
-but that--I need not love him. Can you understand--it seemed as if
-everything was done but that--that the little face had already chosen
-me.... I sent him away, and I remember long afterward I was standing on
-the porch alone. It rained.”
-
-Bellair realised now that she was watching him with something like
-anguish. A different picture of her came to him from that moment--filed
-for the long days apart--the rapt look of her mouth, and the pearl
-in her hair that brought out the lustre of whiteness from her
-skin--full-bosomed, but slender--slender hands that trembled and moved
-toward him as she spoke.... It was something for him--as if he had
-always been partly asleep before--as if she had brought some final
-arousing component to his being.
-
-“... My mother did not ask but once. When I told her--the horror came
-to me that she would die. I had not thought of it before. I had thought
-that it was mine--had seen very little of Paul. In fact, he had come
-several times, when I would not see him.... She called my father--and
-it was all to be enacted again. For a moment, I thought he would strike
-me. The most dreadful thing to them all was that I was not ashamed.
-They felt that I was unnatural....
-
-“There was one high day in that little upper room. It was all like a
-prayer, when they would suffer me to be alone and not wring me with
-their misery--but this one high day, I must tell you. I stood by
-the window in the watery light of the sun from the far north. That
-moment the Strange Courage came. I felt that I could lead a nation,
-not to war, but to enduring peace; as if I had a message for all my
-people, and a courage not of woman’s, to tell it, to tell it again and
-again--until all the people answered. It was then that I understood
-that a man’s soul had come to my baby, and that it was not to be a
-girl, as I had sometimes thought.
-
-“And then the rest of the waiting--days of misery that I can hardly
-remember the changes of--yet something singing within me--I holding
-it high toward heaven as I could--singing with the song within. After
-weeks, it suddenly came to me what they wanted to do to hide their
-shame--to take the little child half-finished from me--to murder it--to
-hide their shame.
-
-“Then I told them that it had not occurred to me to marry Paul--that
-I did not love him--that I had loved the little child. I told them
-that I did not believe in the world--that I did not believe I had done
-wrong--that I did not believe our old preacher who stayed so long at
-the table could make me more ready for the child. I told my father that
-I did not believe in marrying a man and saying that I would have no
-children for three years. I told him that I was mad for the child--that
-I was young and strong and ready to die for it ... that my baby wanted
-me, and no other. I would have gone away, but they would not let me do
-that. They kept me in an upper room. Paul had gone away ... and after
-months my father went to find him. It was sad to me--sadness that
-I cannot forget in that--my father taking his cane and his bag and
-setting out to find the father--heart-broken and full of the awfulness
-of being away from his home. He had not been away for years.... And
-my mother coming timidly to my room.... And then I went down like
-Pharaoh’s daughter to the very edge of the water--for, for the Gleam!”
-
-Her eyes were shining and she laughed a little, looking upward
-as if she saw a vision of it, and had forgotten the room and the
-listening--her eyes as close to tears as laughter.
-
-“... And when I came back--it was all so different. I could pity
-them--my heart breaking for my father and mother, who had not the
-wonder, and only the fears. They were passing out--after doing their
-best as they saw it, for many, many years together--and I had brought
-them the tragedy, the crumbling of their house--a shame upon the
-patriarch of the long road, a blackness upon her maternities.... It was
-my father’s thought to bring Paul to me. As if I would have taken him,
-but he came--my father having given him much money.... Oh, do not be
-hard upon him. There is wildness in him and looseness, but the world
-had showed him the way and he was young. I said to him (it was within
-ten days after the coming and my father and mother were gone from the
-room), ‘I would not think of marrying you, Paul, but do not tell them.
-As soon as I am ready, I shall go away with you, and they will not be
-so unhappy--and as soon as we are well away, you shall be free. And you
-may keep the money, Paul.’
-
-“... And now it is like bringing you a reward for listening so well. I
-tell you now of a moment of beauty and wonder--such as I had known but
-once before, and was more real to me than all the rest. It made that
-which was sorrowful and sordid of the rest seem of little account....
-It was early evening in the upper room and still light. An old
-servant who loved me was in the room, and the Gleam was sleeping--the
-fourteenth day after his coming. The woman helped me to a chair and
-drew it to the window, and all was hushed. Even before I looked out, an
-unspeakable happiness began to gush into my heart.
-
-“The ravine was crowding with darkness, but the long road was full
-of light. The houses between seemed to dwindle but the distance was
-full of radiance--that perfect afterglow again. Not for twenty years
-had there been such a sunset, and now the sky was massed with gold of
-the purple martin’s breast, and the roof of Paul’s house was like two
-open leaves of beaten gold--everywhere the air filled with strange
-brightenings. The fragrance from the fields arose to meet the heaven
-falling from the sky.
-
-“I tried to make believe, but the road was empty. The Guest would never
-come again, and yet on such a night as this, he had come to me--like
-a saint that has finished his work, like a Master coming down a last
-time. All the room and the house was hushed behind me.... But the long
-road was empty.
-
-“The old servant at last could bear it no longer. Perhaps she thought
-I did not breathe. Softly she crossed the room to the cradle, lifted
-the Gleam and placed him in my lap--as if to call me back. Breath came
-quickly at the touch of him, and she must have heard a low, joyous
-sound as I felt the child. With one hand I held him, patting his
-shoulder softly, slowly, with the other, until the ecstasy of long ago
-flowed into my being.
-
-“There was a moment that I should have asked her to take the Gleam
-from me--had I been able to speak. It was such a moment that I had run
-out under the stars. But as I patted the tiny shoulder, the burden of
-the ecstasy passed, and a durable blessedness came--the calm of great
-understanding.
-
-“The road--of course it was empty--for he had come.... I thought I had
-told the old servant, but a second time I seemed to see her anxious
-face bending so near in the dusk.
-
-“‘Why, don’t you see?’ I whispered. ‘He was looking for his mother when
-I found him.’”
-
- * * * * *
-
-That was the end of the story--the rest just details that an outsider
-might ask: How she went away with Paul for the sake of her father; how
-he remained with her during the long voyage to America, but as nothing
-to her, more and more a stranger of different ways from hers--how he
-gave her but a little of the money her father had put in trust for her
-keeping--and rushed away to dig his grave in the city.... Then just a
-glimpse of her need and her labour and longing for the Island life--a
-dream, the _Jade_....
-
-
- 5
-
-The final morning, Bellair took the babe in his arms and let himself
-down the rocky way to the shore. The trail was empty behind him, and
-the cottage shut off by the group of little pines, pure to pass through
-as the room of a child. And here were rain-washed boulders warming
-in the morning sun, and before his eyes the blue and deep-eyed sea.
-It rolled up to his feet, forever changing with its stories and its
-secrets, very cool about them all to-day, full of mastery and leisure.
-
-Bellair sat upon a stone and looked at the child: “I wish you could
-tell me, little man ... but you are not telling. You know it all, like
-the sea--but you do not tell.... And I’ll see you so many times, when
-I’m away,--see you like this and wish many times I could hold you. For
-we were always friends, good friends. You didn’t ask much.... And you
-were fine in the pinch, my son.... That little cry I heard, that little
-cry.... He loved you, and promised great things for you. I’ve come to
-believe it, little man, for I know your mother. That’s good gambling,
-from where I stand.... He knew it first. He knew it all first. And you
-didn’t tell him.... Oh, be all to her, little Gleam--be all to her, and
-tell her I love her--when she looks away to the sea. Tell her, I’ll be
-coming, perhaps.... I didn’t know I’d ever be called to kiss a little
-boy--but it’s all the same to you ... and take care of her for me.”
-
-They were standing together a last time before his journey. The
-carriage had been waiting many minutes. The child was propped upon the
-lawn, and Elsie was picking her steps and shaking her paws that met
-the dew under the grass. His eye was held over her shoulder to the
-weathered door of the stone cottage. It was ajar and coppery brown,
-like the walls above the young vines. And over her other shoulder, too,
-was the brilliant etheric divide of the sea. He had to go back and
-stand a moment in the large room. The wind and the light came in; the
-vine tendrils came trailing in. He saw her books, her pictures, her
-chair, her door....
-
-He stood beside her again, and tried to tell her how moving these weeks
-had been.
-
-“Yes, we have seen both sides, and this was the perfect side. We saw
-the other, well----”
-
-“And you are not caught in either--that’s what thrills me most,” said
-he. “I am always caught--in hunger and thirst and fear and pain--in
-beauty and possessions. But you have stood the same through it
-all--ready to come or go, ready for sun or storm----”
-
-“After years of changes and uncertainty, one comes to rely only upon
-the true things.”
-
-“I shall want to come back--before the first turn of the road,” he
-said. “I think I am hungry for the little house now----”
-
-She put her arms about him. His heart was torn, but there was something
-immortal in the moment.
-
-“This shall always be your home,” she said. “You may come back
-to-night--to-morrow--in twenty years--this is your house. I shall
-be here. I shall teach _him_ to know and welcome you.... We are
-different. We are not strangers. We have gone down into the deep ways
-together. We shall always know each other, as no one else can, or as we
-can know no others. So we must be much to each other--and this is our
-home. You will never forget.... Oh, yes, you must come back--just as
-you must go away----”
-
-Sentence by sentence, softly, easily spoken; not with a great beauty
-of saying, but with a bestowal of the heart that compelled his finest
-receptivity. And she had held him as a mother might, or as a sister, or
-as a woman who loved him. There was something in her tenure, of all the
-loves of earth. He looked deeply into her eyes, but hers was the love
-that did not betray itself then in the senses. He could not know, for
-he would not trust his own heart.... But this he knew, and was much to
-ponder afterward: This which she gave, could not have been given, nor
-have been received, before the days of the open boat. So strange was
-the ministry of that fasting.
-
-They kissed, and hers so gladly given, failed of the secret; yet
-revealed to him a love that sustained, and sent him forth a man--such
-as Bellair had not been.
-
-
-
-
-PART SIX
-
-LOT & COMPANY: II
-
-
- 1
-
-BELLAIR reached New York on a mid-May morning from the west, and walked
-up Seventh avenue to his old room. It was a time of day that he had
-seldom known the street and step. There was a different expression
-of daylight upon them. Of course, he had met these matters on many
-Sundays, but Sunday light and atmosphere was invariably different
-to his eyes--something foreign and false about it. He saw the old
-hall-mark, however, in the vestibule--the partial sweeping.... It
-had always been her way; all things a form. The vestibule and stone
-steps had to be swept--that was the law; to be swept with strength and
-thoroughness was secondary. He rang, and asked the servant for the
-woman of the house.
-
-Waiting, he found himself in a singular depression of mind. The City
-had cramped and bewildered him. A small oval of grey-white cloud
-appeared in the dark hall. It came nearer, and Bellair saw the face of
-dusty wax--smaller, a little lower from his eyes. It came very near,
-and was upturned. The vision was dim, and the memory; all the passages
-slow and cluttered.
-
-“It is Mr. Bellair,” she said, without offering her hand.
-
-“Yes. I’ve come back.”
-
-“I haven’t a room--for you.”
-
-“Oh, I’m sorry.”
-
-“And about your things in storage--I would be glad for the space now.
-Could you take care of this to-day?’
-
-“Yes,” he answered.
-
-“I have the bill ready.”... She called the servant who came with the
-broom. “On my table among the papers you will find Mr. Bellair’s bill
-for storage. Please get it.”
-
-Bellair heard the servant on the stairs, one, two, three flights; then
-a long silence. He had never been quite sure where the landlady slept,
-believing that she hovered from basement to sky-light according to the
-ebb and flow of the tenant tides. The double-doors from the hall to the
-lower front room were slightly ajar. This, the most expensive in the
-house, appeared to be vacant. The servant was gone a long time. The
-landlady did not leave him alone in the hall. They did not speak. The
-darkness crept upon Bellair as if he were in a tank that was slowly
-but surely being filled, and presently would cover him. The paper was
-brought, the charge for six months’ storage, meagre. Bellair paid it,
-and offered more. He thought of her hard life, but the extra money was
-passed back to him.
-
-“I have that present in keeping,” she said.
-
-“What present?”
-
-“That you gave me the night you went away----”
-
-“But I gave it to you. Would you not take a little gift from one who
-had been in your house five years?”
-
-“Money easily got, goes the same,” she answered.
-
-Then Bellair realised how stupid he had been. She had seen the
-newspapers. She had been afraid to trust him alone in that bare hall.
-The smell of carpets stifled him.
-
-“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said. “But hold the present a little
-longer. Perhaps you will not always feel that it came so easily. I’ll
-send for my goods at once.... Good-bye.”
-
-“Good-bye, Mr. Bellair.”
-
-He was ill. The side-door of a famous hotel yawned to him directly
-across the street from his step. He was not sure they would take him.
-Registering, he stopped to think where he was from, adding Auckland, N.
-Z.... Yes, his bags would be brought from the station. They gave him a
-room, and Bellair stood in the centre of it.
-
-For a few moments he actually weakened--limbs and mind. It wasn’t New
-York alone, nor the sordid incident across the street, reminding him
-so ruthlessly of Lot & Company and all that had been and was still to
-do; rather it was a giving way to a loneliness that had been rising
-for almost a month, wearing him to a shadow of himself, and giving
-him battle night and morning. Like many another solitary young man,
-he had brooded much upon what a certain woman might be. He had found
-that in those women he met, certain spaces must be filled in by his
-own compassion--and these spaces did not endure. Always in a test
-they separated from the reality. But the Faraway Woman day by day had
-fulfilled; even where his idealism failed, she completed the picture of
-the woman above him and of irresistible attraction.
-
-She had come nearer and nearer. She was magic in this way. He had
-regarded her at first distantly and askance at the rail of the _Jade_.
-A gasp now came from him. That was so impossible and long ago.... She
-had not called him any more than a peasant woman. And yet one after
-another her rarities had unfolded; it would always be so. She was
-the very fountain of romance to him; the essence of whose attraction
-is variableness of days. Of all the days together, there had been
-no two alike--no two hours alike. He had watched her face under the
-light--never twice the same. The child, the maiden, the mother, the
-love-woman, the saint--lips passional, devotional ... then those
-wonder-moments when the old tragedies came back to her eyes.
-
-They stirred him as if he had known her long ago; and yet nothing of
-this had come to him at first. How crude and coarse he had been not
-to see. Lot & Company and New York had covered her from his eyes. He
-had to fast and pray and concentrate upon her being, as a devotee upon
-the ball of crystal to begin upon her mysteries. Every man has his
-Lot & Company, his New York--the forces that bind him to the world.
-A man bound to the world can see but the body of a thing--the paint
-of a picture, just the outline and pigment of a picture or a bit of
-nature--just the body of a woman.
-
-Something came to him that instant--of the perfect law of all
-things. Those caught in the body of events see but that, hear but
-that, anticipate but that--the very secret of all the misery and
-shortsightedness in the world. A man must rise, lift the centre of
-consciousness above the body of things, even to see physical matters
-in their true relation. It was all so thrillingly true to him in this
-glimpse--that a man can never see properly the sequence of his actions
-unless he can rise above them--that those in the ruck never know what
-they are about....
-
-He tried to remember her face, as he stood in the hotel room. Failing,
-his mind returned to their days together. He was apart now and could
-view them, one by one, in their wonder and beauty. He was torn with
-them. At different times on the long voyage he had dwelt separately
-upon the episodes. Some had worn him to exhaustion. People on the ship
-had believed him a man with a great grief. At first, he looked about
-from face to face searching for some one whom he might tell, but there
-was no reception for his story. He had to stop and think that he was
-different and apart.... She had always been apart.
-
-He had carried it alone, moving hushed and alone with his story; lying
-open-eyed in his berth through the hours of night, and often through
-the afternoons, an open book face downward upon his chest, his pipe
-cold ... living again the different moments in the rooms of the stone
-cottage, in the garden, on the shore; their journeys together, their
-breakfasts and luncheons and evenings together.
-
-The boy was gone from him, from face and body. He did not know what
-had come instead, but he knew that he carried a creative image in his
-heart; something of the fragrance of her lingering about him. It had
-come to him at night alone on deck--the sweetness of her--on the wind.
-All that he wanted, all that he dreamed best of life and labour and
-love ... and yet after all, what had he to do with her in relation
-to these intimate things? Friend, companion, confidante--she was
-everything that a woman could be, except---- Had not the substance of
-that kind of giving died for her in the passing of the preacher?...
-Something of her story frightened him. She had learned the ultimate
-realness of loving. The man who entered her heart now would have to
-come with an immortal seal upon him. There was but one who could take
-up the fatherhood of the Gleam.... Bellair did not feel the man; did
-not know what she had given him; did not know what had come to him--to
-his face and carriage and voice. He had not yet lifted himself above
-so that he could see. Those whom he met, however, were struck with
-a different Bellair, and those who could not understand thought him
-touched a little queerly--as a man after sunstroke or any great light.
-
-... It was now noon. He thought of his old friend, Broadwell, of the
-advertising-desk at Lot & Company. Perhaps Broadwell would dine with
-him. He called. The voice came back to him.... Yes, he would come at
-once. Bellair asked him to the hotel. In the interval he called the
-Trust company in whose keeping the thousand dollar surety had been,
-inquiring if Lot & Company had collected the amount. The answer was
-returned presently to the effect that Lot & Company had presented his
-release and collected the amount with interest four days after his
-departure.
-
-Bellair hearkened to a faint singing somewhere within and found it had
-to do with Bessie. He called Brandt’s and ascertained that the same
-quartette was to sing there at nine in the evening. This was also one
-of the things he had come to do.
-
-Broadwell was a trifle late, but all urbanity. There was something of
-the salesman’s manner and enunciation about him. Bellair fell away
-after the greeting, caught in a sort of mental flurry in which the
-picture of another luncheon engagement recurred to his mind--the day he
-had passed the desk and cage of Mr. Sproxley with the stranger named
-Filbrick, and his own telling of the cashier’s passionate honour....
-When he came back to see clearly the face of Broadwell, he found that
-he personally was being scrutinised with odd intensity. Could it be
-that Broadwell had something more than a personal friendly interest?
-His questions did not seem adroit, and yet he wanted to know so
-much--of the ship, of Auckland, but especially of this long drive back
-to New York.
-
-“Are you stopping here?” he asked.
-
-“Yes. My old room was just opposite, but I was told that the house was
-full.”
-
-“So you came here?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“And are you going to stay in New York?”
-
-“I don’t know, Ben. There are a few things to see to.”
-
-“Are you looking for a job?”
-
-“Well, no. Not exactly, at least.”
-
-Try as he might, Bellair could not feel free, as of old time. He felt
-the other wanted something, and this checked his every offering.
-He knew that Broadwell, at least six months before, could not have
-believed ill of Lot & Company, and there was no apparent change. The
-disclosure of the press must have righted itself in the office so far
-as he, Bellair, was concerned; surely Broadwell did not share the dread
-of him the landlady had shown; and yet, it was hard to broach these
-things. The advertising-man apparently had no intention of doing so.
-
-“We’ve all missed you on the lower floor,” he said.
-
-“Are there any changes?”
-
-“Very few.”
-
-“Who took my place?”
-
-“Man from outside. Mr. Rawter brought in the man--middle-aged. Mr.
-Sproxley knew him, too.”
-
-“Poor devil,” said Bellair, but not audibly. They had not dared to
-open the ledger revelations to any one in the office, but had found a
-man outside who was doubtless familiar with such books, doubtless one
-who had been deformed in the long, slow twistings of trade. Perhaps
-this one had children. Children were good for Lot & Company’s most
-trusted servants. It was well to have a number of children, like Mr.
-Sproxley--for their wants are many, and a man’s soul cannot breathe in
-the midst of many wants and small salary.
-
-“Are you coming over to the office?”
-
-“Yes, I find I have to. Some folks are taking the end Lot and Company
-gave the newspapers about my leaving. They were very much in a hurry
-about giving out that newspaper story--with the money in the vaults.”
-
-Broadwell regarded him seriously. “I suppose they took the point of
-view that there could be but one motive for your leaving, without
-giving notice. Most firms would----”
-
-“I wonder if most firms would?” Bellair asked. “Men have lapses other
-than falling into thievery. At least a firm should look up the facts
-in the case first. It’s a rather serious thing to charge a man with
-departure with funds. For instance, the public will glance through the
-details of such a charge, and miss entirely a denial afterward. Are you
-under bond?”
-
-“No, I don’t handle company funds----”
-
-“Suppose you were--and one night you came to the end of your
-rope--found you couldn’t go back--found it was a life or death
-matter of your soul, whether you went back or not. Still you had
-some salary coming and say a thousand dollars’ surety. You took this
-amount exactly--salary and bond and interest to the dollar, and left
-a note saying so, in place of the amount; also a note releasing to
-your firm the amount of the bond and interest, and stating clearly the
-item of salary--I say, would you expect to find yourself charged with
-embezzlement in next day’s paper?”
-
-Broadwell’s shoulders straightened.
-
-“Not in next day’s paper,” he said, with a smile.
-
-Bellair did not miss the cut of this.
-
-“You think that my case was not like that exactly?” he asked.
-
-“I can’t see why a firm would give such a story to the press--unless
-they uncovered a loss,” Broadwell said slowly.
-
-“Lot & Company couldn’t have uncovered a loss without looking in the
-very place where my note was, which proved there was no loss. Lot &
-Company couldn’t have collected my bond without proceedings--unless
-they found my release of it. And the bond was collected.”
-
-“Then I can’t see any reason for incriminating--any one,” said
-Broadwell.
-
-“Well, there was a reason--though the facts of my case are exactly as
-stated. Lot & Company had a reason. I haven’t decided whether it will
-be necessary to make that known.... But I didn’t bring you here to
-discuss this affair. I wanted to see _you_----”
-
-Just then Mr. Broadwell was paged. A messenger was said to be waiting
-for him in the lobby.
-
-“Send him in,” Broadwell said thoughtlessly.
-
-Davy Acton came, and Broadwell saw his error. Bellair perceived that
-his luncheon-companion had made known his engagement at the office
-before leaving....
-
-“Sit down, Davy. I’m glad to see you----”
-
-The boy had grown. Bellair noted that simple thing, as he noted the
-fact also that Davy was tortured with embarrassment, and had not meant
-to come in. He wriggled his hand forward to take Bellair’s, which was
-held toward his, and then looked down shamefacedly, as if _he_ had been
-charged with theft. Bellair knew well that the boy’s trouble was how to
-meet him--formerly a friend, but now an outcast from the firm. A kind
-of darkness stole over him. He saw now that Broadwell believed him a
-thief, even as the landlady had believed; but in the case of neither
-of these did the dread finality come to him, as from the face of this
-stricken boy.
-
-This was the thought that shot through Bellair’s mind, “No one liked
-Davy so well as I did; no one tried to help him as I did; and now he
-thinks my liking and my helping, a part of the looseness of character
-which made me a thief.”
-
-The thought was strange, yet natural, too. It came into the darkness
-which had covered the abode of Bellair’s consciousness.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“A bit of copy--that I missed getting off,” Broadwell was saying. “I
-was excited when you called.... All right, Davy. I’ve told ’em where
-to find it on the back of the note.... And now Bellair--you were
-saying----”
-
-
- 2
-
-Bellair watched for the turn on the part of Broadwell that would reveal
-the character of his message, for he did not believe the matter of the
-copy for the printer. The chill was thick between them, yet Bellair
-managed to say:
-
-“I’m not here for reprisal or trouble-making. It’s rather a novelty to
-be innocent, yet charged with a thing; certainly one sees a look from
-the world that could come no other way. I want to see you again--soon.
-I’ve got a story to tell you. It was a big thing to me. We used to have
-things in common. I’d like to tell you the story and see how it strikes
-you----”
-
-“Good. I’m to spare----”
-
-“Suppose you come here to lunch to-morrow----”
-
-“No, you come with me.”
-
-“I’d prefer it the other way,” Bellair declared. “It’s my story you are
-to listen to.”
-
-As they parted, there was just a trace of the old Broadwell, that left
-Bellair with a feeling of kindness.
-
-“I’m interested to hear that story,” the advertising-man said. “It did
-something to you apparently. Pulled you down a lot--but that’s not all.
-I can’t make it out exactly--but you’ve got something, Bellair.”
-
-That was a long afternoon.... He had been gone less than six months;
-and yet was as much a stranger, as a young man coming in from the West
-for the first time. The hours dragged. The City did not awe him, but
-so much of it struck him in places tender. He could give and give;
-there seemed no other way, no other thing to do. He sat on a bench in
-Union Square, and talked with an old man who needed money so badly
-that Bellair reflected for some time the best way to bestow it without
-shock. The old fellow looked so near gone, that one feared his heart
-would break under any undue pressure of excitement.
-
-Bellair concluded he had better buy a stimulant first of all, so he
-led the way across the Square to Kiltie’s. They lined up against the
-bar, and warmed themselves, the idea in Bellair’s mind being to give
-something beside money. Now the old man (not in the least understanding
-more than it was the whim of the stranger to do something for him),
-was so intent on what was to be done that he could not listen. Bellair
-had to come to the point. They went to a table for a bite of lunch, and
-the spectacle of a beggar’s mind opened--a story lacking imagination
-and told with the pitiful endeavour to fit into what was imagined to be
-the particular weakness of this listener.
-
-For months, Bellair had not touched the little orbit of the trodden
-lives. The story was not true, for no single group of ten words hinged
-upon what had been said, or folded into the next statement. The old
-man was not simple, but his guile was simple, and the simplicity of
-that was obscene. Begging might be a fine art, but men chose or fell
-into their work without thought of making an art of it. The old man did
-not know his own tremendous drama. Had he dared plainly to be true, he
-would have captivated the world with his own poor faculties. Behind the
-affectations were glimpses of great realities--if only the fallen mind
-could accept his days and tell them as they came--just the imperishable
-fruits of his days. As it was, the whiskey swept them farther away,
-and the creature attempted to act; his pitiful conception of effects
-were called into being. The throb of it all was the way the world was
-brought back to Bellair. His whole past city life thronged into mind.
-This was but a shocking example of myriads of lives--trying to be what
-their undeveloped senses prompted for the moment, rather than to be
-themselves. This was the salesman’s voice and manner, he had seen in
-Broadwell.... He stopped his revery by handing over the present.
-
-The old man’s eyes were wild now with hope and anguish to get away;
-a mingling of fear, too, lest the great sum of money in one piece be
-counterfeit; lest the stranger ask it back, or some one knock him down
-and take it away.
-
-“I sat in a small boat,” Bellair was saying, “for ten days, with very
-little food and water. I saw one man die like a beast of thirst--or
-fear of thirst; and I saw another man master it--so that he died
-smiling--as only a man can die----”
-
-Bellair did not finish. He had tried to catch the old man’s attention
-with this--to hold it an instant, thinking that some word would get
-home, something of the immortal facts in his heart, something greater
-than cash ... but the old man believed him insane, a liar, a fool or
-all three.
-
-“Yes, yes,” he said, looking to the side, and to the door.
-
-So he could listen, neither before nor afterward. Bellair eased his
-agony by letting him go--the money gripped in his hands, his limbs
-hastening, eyes darting to the right and left, as he sped through the
-swinging door.... For several moments, Bellair sat in the sorrow of
-it--lost in the grimmest of all tragedies--that here we are, a human
-family, all designed for lofty and majestic ends, yet having lost
-the power to articulate to each other. Suddenly Bellair remembered
-that the old face had looked into his for a swift second, when he was
-released--shaken, ashen, a murmur of something like “God thank you,”
-on the trembling lips. There was a bit of a ray in that.... Then
-he settled back into the tragedy again. It was this--that the old
-man had thought him insane for trying to help him; that he had seen
-something foreign and altogether amiss in the landlady’s eyes, in Ben
-Broadwell’s, and what was more touching to him, in Davy Acton’s.
-
-Bellair straightened his shoulders. The misery of the thing oppressed
-him until he brought it to the laugh. Formerly he would have tried to
-escape. It was not his business if the old man would not be helped; he
-had tried. If a man can succeed in radiating good feelings and a spirit
-of helpfulness, he has done his part; the consequences are out of his
-hand. He saw that he had wanted to help; that what he had taken from
-the open boat and from the woman had brought this impulse to the fore
-in all his thinking. After that he must be an artist in the work; must
-become consummate; but having done his best--he must not spend energy
-in moods and personal depressions.... As for Lot & Company, he must
-meet them on their own footings--forgetting everything but their points
-of view. It was his business now to make a black spot clean, and it
-was an ugly material matter to be coped with as such, calling forth
-will-power and acumen of a world kind. He would see if he was to fail.
-
-Bellair’s laugh was hard at first, from the tensity of the temptation
-to give up and let New York have its way in his case. Having whipped
-that (and it was a fair afternoon’s work) the smile softened a little,
-and he entered upon the task of the evening.
-
-... Brandt’s was just as he had left it. The crowd increased; the
-quartette came. Bessie was lovely as ever; slightly different, since
-he had thought of her so much in the old hat. She did not see him,
-but her smile was like a flower of warmth and culture. A touch of the
-old excitement mounted in his breast, as they sang.... This was New
-York--among men--food and drink and warmth. This, too, was life; these
-were men who toil every day, who cannot take months to dream in, who
-cannot cross the sea and observe heroes and saints, but men who crowd
-and toil and fight, even expire, for their pleasures--such were the
-surgings of Bellair’s brain in the midst of the music. Bessie was the
-arch of it all--the arch of the old home, New York,--not this Bessie,
-but the Bessie that might be, the significant woman it was his work to
-make and mould. He was living his own thoughts, as much as listening.
-They vanished when the music stopped.... He sent a waiter to her with
-this written on a blank card:
-
-“Will you sing _Maying_ for an old friend?”
-
-... The song choked the wanderer, and this was the new mystery of
-_Maying_--that it left him at the stone gate of a door-yard beyond
-windy Auckland....
-
- * * * * *
-
-He sent forward a gift of flowers, and was in a daze when she came to
-him and sat down.
-
-“I have only a few minutes. We sing once more and then go. How dark and
-thin you look!”
-
-He wanted to see her after her work was done, but dared not ask until
-other things were said.... There were words that left no impress, until
-he heard himself saying:
-
-“I read the New York papers at sea----”
-
-“... The reporters came to me. I had told some one of seeing you. It
-was just after I had read the news. It was new to me to have reporters
-come--and somehow they got what they wanted----”
-
-“Oh, that didn’t matter. Only it was all unnecessary. My accounts there
-were never other than straight.”
-
-She said she was glad. He saw she was more glad to drop the subject,
-and didn’t exactly believe him.
-
-“And you’ve had luck away?”
-
-“Yes, in several ways--beside money.”
-
-It seemed necessary to add the last. He was struck with the shame and
-pity of it; yet it had to do with seeing her again.
-
-“Are you going to be in New York long?”
-
-“I don’t know. I’d like to talk with you to-night, after you are
-through. I might know better then--how long I am to stay.... Is it
-possible?”
-
-“Yes--yes, I think so.”
-
-“When?”
-
-“After the _Castle_”
-
-“Thank you.”
-
-“I’m going to be given a chance--in two weeks--a real chance,” she
-declared. “I’ll tell you later.”
-
-He tried to make himself believe that it was just as it had been; that
-Bessie was the same, the meaning of New York and the fortune that had
-come to him. How could she sing so, if it were not true?
-
-“The formal try-out is two weeks from to-day,” she added. “The rest
-is done. It’s the chance for life--one of the leads with the _King
-Follies_ for next season. They’ve already heard me. I need to do no
-more, than has been done?”
-
-“Just singing?”
-
-“There are many lines and some dancing--oh, it’s a chance to storm the
-piece--if I can.”
-
-She enlarged and detailed the promise; Bellair forgot many things he
-had to say.
-
-“Is that all you want, Bessie?”
-
-“What?”
-
-“This chance.”
-
-Her brows knit with irritation. It was her high tide, and he did not
-seem able to rise with it. Still she dared not be angry with him.
-
-“Don’t you see--it’s everything?”
-
-“A good salary, I suppose?”
-
-“Oh, yes----”
-
-“And you are all fixed for it?”
-
-“All but clothes--the old struggle. You helped me wonderfully before.”
-
-“Perhaps I could help you again?”
-
-“Oh, could you?” She was joyousness aflame--her whole nature winging
-about him.
-
-Deep within, he was empty and bleak and cold. He wanted to give her
-money, but somehow could not make it easy for her. It cheapened him in
-his own eyes.... He was silent--his thoughts having crossed the world.
-There is no one to explain the sentence that ran through his mind, “...
-_who buys wine for the Japanese girls in Dunedin, since Norcross was
-conscripted in the service we all shall know?_”
-
-“... But what am I to do for you,” he heard the girl inquire, “since
-you are--not going away to-night?”
-
-He quaked at the old recall. Perhaps he had forgotten a little how to
-be sharp and city-wise; at least, he did not make himself clear at
-once.
-
-“You have your mornings, don’t you, Bessie?”
-
-“Not if I’m to have new clothes. That’s morning work----”
-
-“There’s so much to say. I’ve thought about you in a lot of strange
-places----”
-
-She leaned forward and said with a pitiful quiet, “Once, you only
-wanted me to be good.”
-
-Then it dawned on him. “Good God, Bessie,” he cried, “I don’t want you
-to be bad!”
-
-She regarded him, playing with the stem of her glass, as of old time. A
-curious being he was to her, and quite inexplicable.
-
-“You love me?” she asked.
-
-The bass now beckoned, and she fled.
-
-
- 3
-
-Bellair saw that one may have a gift from heaven, a superb
-singing-voice, for instance, but that one must also furnish the thought
-behind it. It was not that Bessie Brealt lacked ambition; in fact,
-she had plenty of that, but it was the sort that cannot wait for real
-results. She did not see the great singer; she had not a thought to
-give with her song. She had not the emotions upon which a great organ
-of inspiration might be built with the years. Already she was touched
-with the world; the world stirred her desires; matters of first
-importance in her mind were the things she wanted.
-
-She was not different from the thousands, from the millions, in this.
-He had not altogether lost the conviction that she might be made
-different. Already she was singing too much; her voice would never
-reach its full measure under these conditions. She would suffer the
-fate of the countless high-bred colts that are ruined by being raced
-too young, being denied the right to sound maturity. She should have
-been out of the life-struggle for years yet; in the country, in the
-perfect convent of natural life. She had not answered the true call,
-but meanwhile a call had come; its poison had entered. Bellair saw that
-the process before him, if any, was to break before building.... If
-consummate art were used, might not Bessie be helped to conceive the
-great career? Of course that thought must come first. However, he was
-far from believing that any art of his could be consummate.... Speaking
-that night of her new opportunity, he said:
-
-“They will rehearse you a great deal--then performances twice a
-day--and you’re not more than twenty----”
-
-“Just twenty----”
-
-“You should be forty--before giving your voice so much work----”
-
-She laughed. “Forty, I will doubtless be finished. Forty, and before,
-the fat comes----”
-
-“People can forget fat--when a great voice is singing----”
-
-“The great voices have sung from children,” she answered.
-
-He believed this untrue; at least, he believed that with conservation,
-a more sumptuous power was attainable. “They have sung naturally
-perhaps, but not professionally. If they were called into the stress
-of life very young, any greatness afterward was in spite of the early
-struggle, not because of it. The voice is an organ that wears out. It
-is not the same as the character which improves through every test. If
-you were to spend ten years in study--ten years, not alone in vocal
-culture, but in life preparation and the culture of happiness----”
-
-“I suppose you would have me give up this chance with the _Follies_?”
-she asked with the control that suggests imminent fracture.
-
-“Yes. There is nothing that passes so quickly--as the voice of a
-season. It is the plaything of a people without memory. If you had
-ever listened to the best of the light opera singers, in contrast to a
-really developed talent----”
-
-But this was not the way. Bellair finished the sentence vaguely, not
-with the sharpness of the idea that had come to him. She was nervous
-and irritable and tired. She was enduring him, much as one endures a
-brother from the country, for whom allowances must be made; also there
-was a deeper reason.
-
-“Perhaps what I think of you,” he said, stirring to thrill her some way
-if possible, “is really a fiery thing, Bessie. I think of you singing
-great hordes of creatures into unity of idea that would lift them from
-beasts into men. The world is so full of sorrow and dulness of seeing;
-the world is in a cloud--I want you to sing the clouds away. If you
-could wait--just wait, as one holding a sure and perfect gift--until
-the real call comes to you, and then sing, knowing your part, not
-in pleasure and amusement, but in life, in the stirring centres of
-struggle and strife. If you would go forth singing that great song
-of yours--from your soul! It would be like a voice from the East--to
-bring the tatters of humanity together. I felt all this vaguely when I
-first heard you--six months ago. I have thought of it nights and days
-on the ocean--in times when we had to live on our thoughts, hold fast
-to them or go mad, for we had two days’ water for ten, and two days’
-food for ten. Then I remembered how I came into Brandt’s, torn that
-night, not knowing what to do--dull-eyed and covered with wrongs. You
-sang me free. For the minute you sang me out of all that. I could not
-have freed myself perhaps--without that song. I know that there are
-thousands of men like me to be freed----”
-
-Bellair felt on sure ground now. This was his particular manner and
-message--the finest and strangest thing about him--the fact that
-had always appeared, making him different even from Fleury and the
-woman,--the thought that he was average--and not more impressionable
-than the multitudes. If they could be reached, they would make the big
-turn that he had been shoved into.
-
-“... Thousands just as I was that night, preyed upon by trade,
-dull-witted with the ways of trade, the smug, the bleak, the poisonous
-tricks of trade, born and bred--their real life softened and watered
-and wasted away ... thousands who could turn into men at the right
-song, the right word. I always thought of you, Bessie--as one of the
-great helpers. If you can wait, the way will come. I will help you to
-wait. I came back to New York to help you----”
-
-She picked up his glass and smelled it, her eyes twinkling. “Splendid,”
-she said, “but are you quite sure you haven’t a stick in this
-ginger-ale?”
-
-Bellair leaned back. He hadn’t touched _it_ yet. Perhaps something
-would come, better than words. It was not straight-going--this work
-that he had dreamed; always a shock in bringing down dreams from Sinai;
-always something deadly in meeting the empirical. He smiled. “Just
-ginger-ale, Bessie, but you are a stimulant. You are more beautiful
-than before. Not quite so girlish, but there is something new that is
-very intense to me----”
-
-She leaned toward him now, very eager.
-
-“I wondered what you would see. The difference was plain at once in
-you.... Tell me what you see----”
-
-“Just between the fold of the eye and the point of the chin----” he
-answered.... (Queerly now he imagined himself talking on the shore to
-the little Gleam; it gave him just the touch that helped.) “--a little
-straightening of the oval, and the little puff at the mouth-corners
-drawn out. Why, Bessie, it’s just the vanishing child. And you are
-taller. I’m almost afraid to speak--to try to put it into words, how
-pretty you are----”
-
-She was elate and puzzled, too. “Where did you get anything like that?”
-she asked. “It’s what made me remember before. Always when you get
-through preaching--you pay for it----”
-
-It was out before she thought--yet for once the exact unerring thing
-that was in her mind.
-
-He treasured it; saw that his appeal was certain this way; that he must
-be of the world, and right glib to master her. The way of reality was
-slow; he must never fail to pay for preaching.... They laughed, and
-the weariness went from her eyes. The bloom of her health was at its
-height. Now as Bellair watched her, thinking of the world-ways, she
-suddenly swept home to him--the old forbidden adventure of her, the
-meaning of money and nights, her homelessness, the city, the song, the
-price she would pay if he demanded it.
-
-The thing was upon him before he realised. It had all been the new
-Bellair until now. His body had lain as if in a vault of wax, its
-essential forces in suspension. Suddenly without warning, the wax
-had melted away. He did not instantly give battle to the gust of
-desire--met it eye-to-eye. Bellair felt his own will, and knew he
-would use it presently. He was rather amazed at the power of the thing
-as it struck him, and the nature of it, so utterly detached from the
-redolence and effulgence he had known in the Stone House. This was
-not the old Hunting Companion who had come with garlands; a minkish
-aborigine, this, who had come empty-handed, whose hands were out to be
-filled.
-
-The meaning of all that Stackhouse had left in wallets and sea-girt
-archipelagoes was in this sullen-eyed entity--in the _O_ formed of
-thirsting lips. Bellair tried to check it before it came--the thought
-that this was peculiarly a New York manifestation, one destined to be
-Bessie Brealt’s familiar in future years.... He did not have to use his
-will. He lost himself in thinking of her plight.
-
-“... Please bring the coffee,” she was saying to the waiter, her hand
-lifted, as if she would touch his sleeve, the familiarity of one who
-had sung here many nights. “Yes, he will have coffee. He is merely away
-somewhere.... Yes, we will have it smoked with cognac--but here--do it
-here. I like to see it burn....”
-
-“Very well, Miss Brealt----”
-
-The lights had all come back to Bellair. He was miserable--the
-adventure palled. There had been no lift, nor tumultuous carrying away.
-The quick change chilled him. Her words one by one had chilled him....
-At least, he had demanded a madness to-night. Bessie did not have the
-wine of madness in her veins. This much had been accomplished. He could
-not break training coldly.... And now he felt as if the day had drained
-him to the heart, as if the day had come to an end, and he must rest.
-
-He turned to her. “I found a little check-book for you to-day, but
-you must go to the bank and give them your signature. It is made of
-leather, small enough for your purse almost. The bank-book is with it.
-You will find a little account started.... And now I will call a cab
-for you----”
-
-“But your coffee----” she said.
-
-“Yes, we will have that----”
-
-He had to get away for a moment. His heart was desolate with hunger....
-The smell of the kitchen made him think of the galley of a ship....
-
- * * * * *
-
-“Oh, what can I do for you?” Bessie asked, when he returned.
-
-“It’s what you can do for yourself that interests me----”
-
-“But I must go with the _Follies_--if I win. It’s the career--the
-beginning!”
-
-“If you must.”
-
-“And when shall I see you?”
-
-“Here to-morrow night--if you will.”
-
-“Yes,” she said eagerly.
-
-
- 4
-
-On the way to Lot & Company’s the next morning Bellair smiled at the
-sense of personal injustice which had returned to him. He held fast to
-a sort of philosophical calm, but permitted his energy to be excited by
-a peculiar blending of contempt and desire to wring the truth from Lot
-& Company at any price.
-
-Suddenly he stopped. Lot & Company was merely something to master. Lot
-& Company was but an organised bit of the world which he had met; all
-men had their own organisations to face, to comprehend the vileness
-and illusion of, and then to get underfoot, neck and other vitals....
-Bessie had helped him. There was something in that.... He felt the
-fighting readiness within him, and an added warning not to raise his
-voice. He must deal with Lot & Company on the straight low plane of
-what-was-wanted. That was the single level of the firm’s understanding.
-
-Davy Acton smiled at him shyly--the first face after the pale
-telephone-miss at the door. Davy was more at home in these halls and
-floors than in the hotel dining-room. Bellair heard the jovial voice
-of Mr. Rawter behind his partition. From the distance, Broadwell
-glanced up and waved at him. Mr. Sproxley’s black eyes were fixed in
-his direction from behind the grating of his cage. Mr. Sproxley came
-forward, greeted him and returned. Bellair had asked to see the elder
-Mr. Wetherbee, but it appeared that Mr. Seth was not in.
-
-“I’ll speak with Mr. Nathan Lot,” said Bellair.
-
-“Mr. Lot is occupied.”
-
-“Mr. Jabez then.”
-
-Mr. Jabez came forth presently.... He had been married in the interval,
-according to Broadwell; the fact had touched the wide, limp mouth. A
-very rich girl had joined pastures with Jabez; so that this coming
-forward was one of the richest young men in New York, representing
-the fortune of his mother which the dreaming Nathan had put into
-works; representing the fortune he had recently wedded with or without
-dreaming, and also the Lot & Company millions. Mr. Jabez also stood
-for the modern note of the firm; he was designed to bring the old and
-prosperous conservatism an additional new and up-to-the-hour force of
-suction.... Mr. Jabez smiled.
-
-“Hello, Bellair,” he said with a careless regard,--doubtless part of
-the modern method, the laxity of new America which knows no caste. The
-thought had formed about him something to this effect: “What’s the use
-of me carrying it--you will not be able to forget you are talking to
-forty millions?”
-
-“Come in,” he added and Bellair followed.
-
-Mr. Nathan was beyond the partition. The atmosphere of the dreamer had
-looped over into the son’s sanctum.... Bellair began at the point of
-his handing the letter, addressed to Mr. Nathan, to the station-porter
-at the last moment from the platform of the Savannah Pullman.
-
-“But mails don’t miscarry,” said Mr. Jabez, impatiently.
-
-“That’s a fact. Perhaps mine wasn’t mailed. Of course,” he added
-quietly, “you didn’t require that letter. You had my note of release in
-the safe. They say at the Trust company that you collected the thousand
-dollars and interest within four days after I left.”
-
-“Suppose every employé who has a deposit of faith--should tie us up
-that way?”
-
-“It would be well to find out what he has done--before calling in the
-police.”
-
-“What do you want, Bellair?”
-
-Mr. Jabez could hold his temper, when its display was an inconvenience.
-
-“I want a paper signed by you for Lot & Company, stating that you were
-in error when you charged me with absconding with company funds; that
-my accounts were afterward found to be entirely correct.”
-
-Jabez Lot surveyed him. There was some change which he did not
-understand. The paper asked for, was a mere matter of dictation, a
-thing that might be forced from the firm. He believed, however, that
-Bellair wanted something else.
-
-“I think the wisest plan for us will be to turn your case over to our
-attorney,” he said.
-
-“Why?” Bellair asked. The full episode of the Nubian File and Mr.
-Prentidd passed through his mind.
-
-“You see these affairs are adjusted better out of the office----”
-
-“Why?”
-
-“As a matter of fact, Bellair,” Mr. Jabez said patiently, “Lot &
-Company is eager to make amends for its mistake----”
-
-There was a slow, quiet cough, the most natural and thoughtless sort of
-cough from the inner office. Bellair wondered if the modern method of
-Mr. Jabez was wearing a bit upon the dreamer, or if he were really lost
-in some inscrutable departure of mind.
-
-“That would seem natural,” said he. “It would seem the direct, clear
-way. I am not boisterous; I threaten nothing.”
-
-Bellair knew that this reminder of the Prentidd episode did not
-help his cause, but he wished nothing to be lost from the force he
-possessed. At the same time, he knew that it was the policy of Lot &
-Company to give nothing unforced. He was interested.
-
-“We hadn’t thought of it, of course,” the future head now said, “but I
-have no doubt that Lot & Company has something as good for you as your
-old place, if you----”
-
-“But I do not want a position,” said Bellair.
-
-“What is it you want--again?”
-
-“I want a paper, saying that I stole nothing, that Lot & Company was in
-error in charging me with taking funds----”
-
-“A sort of explanation of our course?”
-
-“Not exactly--a statement of your course, and that you incriminated me
-unjustly----” Bellair spoke with slow clearness.
-
-“I really believe you had better see Mr. Jackson.”
-
-“Why?”
-
-“Because this is most unusual----”
-
-Another cough was heard.
-
-“Unusual--to straighten out a wrong that has hurt a man?”
-
-“The way you ask it. Lot & Company is willing to take you back----”
-
-“But I do not want to come back. You say that Lot & Company is eager to
-make amends----”
-
-Davy Acton came in, saying that Mr. Jabez was called to the advertising
-department for a moment.... To Bellair this was like an interruption
-of an interesting story, but he did not wait long. The scene was merely
-shifted. He was in Mr. Nathan’s room. Mr. Rawter joined them and Mr.
-Jabez returned directly. The latter reopened the conversation by
-relating justly and patiently what Bellair asked.
-
-“I don’t see why he shouldn’t have such a paper,” said Mr. Nathan,
-brushing his fingers through his hair, as if to force his thoughts
-down. He was not a whit older. The same identical dandruff was upon his
-shoulders.
-
-Mr. Rawter laughed jovially: “Don’t you see? That’s just it.
-Individually, that is exactly the situation--but a big house--all its
-ramifications affected--and who’s to be responsible for Lot & Company
-as a whole?”
-
-“It was Lot & Company that incriminated me,” said Bellair.
-
-“I told Mr. Bellair----” Mr. Jabez began.
-
-“Mr. Bellair had better come back to the House--that in itself is our
-acknowledgement,” interrupted his father. Evidently the son was not yet
-finished in training.
-
-Bellair turned to Mr. Jabez, who explained the point of Bellair’s
-unwillingness to return. There was silence at this, as if it were
-entirely incomprehensible.
-
-“Have you taken a position elsewhere in New York?” Mr. Nathan asked.
-
-“No.”
-
-“Are you going to?”
-
-“On that--I cannot be sure.”
-
-Mr. Rawter now arose and came forward, placing his arm across Bellair’s
-shoulder. The latter winced, but not physically. For an instant it had
-fired and fogged him. “Bellair, my boy, on the face of it--this that
-you ask would seem very simple,” he began. “I would ask it in your
-case, but think of us. By misunderstanding, we let out the fact that
-you had gone with funds not your own.... You were away. We looked for
-you everywhere before this happened----”
-
-“You let it out,” said Bellair. “It is very simple. Call it in
-again----”
-
-“It isn’t so simple.”
-
-“I might come back to work for you,” Bellair added, “and those who
-knew would say, ‘He hadn’t anything. Instead of locking him up, Lot &
-Company took him back to work out what he had taken----’”
-
-“I might give you a personal letter, saying I was very sorry, that in
-the bewilderment of the moment, we jumped at the conclusion that you
-were identified with the missing funds----”
-
-“But the funds were not missing. You could not look into the vault-box
-without finding my letter.”
-
-“Our funds were not all in that box, Bellair.”
-
-“They would know by next morning, if I had broken into your bank----”
-
-Mr. Nathan appeared to be gone from them, his eyes softened with
-visions.
-
-“Write him the letter, Mr. Rawter----” suggested Mr. Jabez.
-
-It struck Bellair like a hated odour--this tool for unclean work,
-Rawter’s part in the establishment. He did not hasten now, though he
-knew they were waiting for his answer. The head of the sales resumed:
-
-“Yes, I will do this gladly--in fact, it would relieve my mind to do
-this in the most cordial terms, but I would be interested first in
-learning just what disposition of it was intended----”
-
-“It would be mine,” said Bellair. “Of course, I should use it as I
-thought fit.”
-
-“I was thinking--in adjusting the tone of the letter, the wording, you
-know----”
-
-“Adjust the tone--the wording--to the facts--that would seem best. But
-I would not accept such a letter from you personally. It would have to
-be written for Lot & Company----”
-
-Mr. Nathan now showed signs of coming back.
-
-“Let us have a day to think it over, Bellair,” he said.
-
-“In that case--my part is finished. I have asked to be lifted out of
-a shameful position. You acknowledge that I have this lift coming.”
-It was at this point that an inspiration arrived. “All that there is
-left, naturally and equitably, is for you to do your part. A man’s name
-is of more importance than a firm’s name, and in any event, no man nor
-firm was ever hurt by squaring a crooked action.”
-
-Mr. Nathan appeared to welcome the slight heat of this remark. It
-brought the moment nearer in which hands might be washed and the
-attorney summoned. But Bellair was not heated, Mr. Rawter fumed a
-little.
-
-“What do you mean by a man’s name being more important than a firm’s
-name?” he demanded.
-
-“A firm shares its responsibility. A man shoulders it alone.”
-
-“And what do you mean by your part being finished?”
-
-“I have worked in this office five years,” Bellair answered. “I never
-saw nor heard of a man in my position, or in a similar position of
-asking something, who profited by allowing delay. I will put the matter
-out of mind if the letter is not furnished to-day. Of course, I expect
-to get it. In fact, I have the pressure to force the issue--although it
-seems trivial for me to mention it.”
-
-Bellair had thought of Mr. Prentidd again. There was doubtless a case
-of some kind pending on the matter of the Nubian File. Mr. Prentidd was
-no man to stop. It would not have been settled within six months. Lot
-& Company knew of his knowledge of this affair. Bellair plunged:
-
-“In fact, there is a case against Lot & Company, to which I might add
-a singular weight of testimony. As for my own, it would go to the same
-counsel----”
-
-Mr. Nathan ruffled his hair and the silent fall of grey white dust
-followed. Bellair felt pent. After so long a time at sea, it was hard
-for him to breathe in this place. He wearied now of the game, although
-Mr. Nathan was palpably down, present in the material plane.
-
-“Bellair,” said he, turning about in his chair, “the added pressure
-of a discredited employé doesn’t count for much as testimony in any
-case----”
-
-“I realised at once the reason why you discredited me--to cripple for
-the time being any knowledge I might care to use against you. However,
-you have all granted that I am not discredited. The only item mentioned
-in the charge was the item covered by the Trust company. You would have
-to work with Mr. Sproxley to show a deficit in the books having to do
-with my departure----”
-
-“Bellair,” said Mr. Nathan, “a poor man can never win a suit against a
-strongly backed firm----”
-
-“That is unfortunately true,” said Bellair, “but I am not poor. I came
-into an inheritance during the past six months. The fact is, I think
-I could spend as much money to buy justice as Lot & Company would be
-willing to spend to prevent it.”
-
-“Bellair,” said Mr. Nathan, “you will find it impossible to move the
-press in your behalf against the firm of Lot & Company, with our
-advertising contracts among the valuable ones in the city lists----”
-
-Knowledge now counted. “You do not advertise in the _Record_,” he
-declared. “I have often heard from the advertising department that
-there is a rupture between this office and that paper, dating over a
-quarter of a century----”
-
-Mr. Nathan touched a button for his stenographer. She lit upon the
-little chair beside him like a winged seed.
-
- * * * * *
-
-“To all Parties interested: Mr. Bellair left our employ suddenly and
-without furnishing customary warning,” the president dictated. “Finding
-a certain explanation in the vault, instead of a sum slightly over one
-thousand dollars belonging to this firm, we hastily assumed that his
-sudden departure was energised by the usual conditions. In fact, such
-a suspicion was stated to the press by this firm. We have since found
-Mr. Bellair’s accounts to be correct in every detail, and we furnish
-this letter to express in part our concern for Mr. Bellair’s character
-which our hasty conclusion impinged upon. Mr. Bellair left a letter
-of explanation in the vault, but his action in leaving abruptly and
-without explanation forced us on the spur of the moment to discredit
-it. However, the statement of his letter proved true, and the money
-taken by Mr. Bellair was the exact amount of his surety bond, with
-stipulated interest, and his salary to the hour of departure.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“You have heard it?” Mr. Nathan inquired.
-
-“Yes, it will do,” said Bellair.
-
-The president nodded to his stenographer, who whisked out. “It will
-be ready in a moment,” he said. “I will sign it for Lot & Company....
-Bellair, are you sure you don’t want your old desk back?”
-
-“Quite sure,” said Bellair.
-
-Mr. Jabez and Mr. Rawter had departed. Bellair glanced at his watch.
-It was a moment past the hour of Mr. Broadwell’s leaving for luncheon.
-The advertising-man, of course, was aware of his presence in the lower
-office. Bellair stepped out, however, to make sure of his appointment.
-Broadwell, hat in hand, was engaged in talk with Mr. Jabez. Bellair
-returned to the office of the president to wait for the stenographer.
-Not more than two minutes later, Davy Acton came in with this message:
-
- “Mighty sorry to call luncheon off. Am hurrying to catch a train for
- Philadelphia for the rest of the day. Will see you later.--Broadwell.”
-
-... Bellair folded this thoughtfully. The stenographer brought the
-letter with copy. The front draft was approved for signature, and
-Bellair’s morning work accomplished.
-
-In the hall he met Davy Acton, and followed a quick impulse.
-
-“Davy, lad, how soon will you be ready to go out to lunch?”
-
-“In about three minutes----”
-
-“I’ll wait for you. I’m going your way.”
-
-Davy’s customary exit was the side-door. Bellair waited there
-accordingly. The girls were coming down the iron stairway from the
-bindery. He stepped back in the shadow to let them pass. There were
-figures and faces that clutched at his throat.... And then a story
-began, half way up the first flight, and came nearer and nearer, the
-voice carrying easily to one who listened with emotion:
-
-“Did you know that Mr. Bellair was back?... Bellair, the absconding
-clerk--Mr. Sproxley’s assistant. Lot & Company has refused to
-prosecute. He will not be arrested.... And think of his nerve--asking
-his old position back----”
-
-... They saw merely the back of a man, if they saw him at all. The talk
-was not interrupted on the way to the street and beyond.... Bellair
-came up with a start to find the boy at his side.
-
-
- 5
-
-For a square or two, Davy Acton walking beside him, Bellair did not
-speak. He had needed that last bit. The morning would have blurred his
-hard-earned knowledge of Lot & Company and the world, without that
-moment under the iron stairs. It was hard to take, but a man mustn’t
-forget such realities as this. He loses his grip on the world when he
-forgets. Happy to lose, of course, but the point of his effectiveness
-is gone when these rock-bottom actualities are forgotten.... He looked
-down, Davy was hopping every third step to keep up. Bellair had
-quickened his pace to put the stench of the swamp farther behind him,
-but it was still in his nostrils.... He laughed.
-
-“I was thinking, Davy, and the thoughts were like spurs. We’re in no
-hurry, really.”
-
-He would not take the boy to a stately and formal dining-room for him
-to be embarrassed. Bellair felt that he had something very precious
-along; a far graver solution than luncheon with Broadwell. They sat
-down at a little table in the corner of one of the less crowded
-restaurants. As they waited, Bellair said, drawing out the paper he had
-received from the dreaming Mr. Nathan:
-
-“I want you to see this first. In fact, I was particularly concerned
-about getting it, just to show you. Davy, it hit me like a rock--the
-way you looked at me in the hotel yesterday. I couldn’t have that.
-We’ve been too good friends----”
-
-Davy read the letter carefully, deep responsibility upon his
-understanding.
-
-“Did you have trouble getting it?” he asked finally.
-
-“It took the forenoon, Davy. I found that they had not taken the
-trouble to tell my old friends on the different floors that I was not a
-thief. What was worse for me, they let you think so----”
-
-“I wouldn’t believe it at first,” said Davy.
-
-“I’m glad of that.”
-
-“I said to Mr. Broadwell, that they’d find out differently and be
-sorry. They didn’t let us know when they found out----”
-
-“That’s why it was important for me to come back----”
-
-“But why did you go away like that?”
-
-The boy’s mind dwelt in the fine sense of being treated as an equal.
-Bellair felt called upon to be very explicit and fair:
-
-“I came to the time when I couldn’t live with myself any longer--and
-stay in the cage with Mr. Sproxley. I saw a ship in the harbour the
-Sunday before--a sailing-ship,” he began, and then made a picture of
-it; also of his own hopelessness and what the years would mean, not
-touching specific dishonesties, but suggesting the atmosphere which
-had suddenly become poisonous to him. He did not forget that Davy had
-no other place, that he must keep a certain sense of loyalty, or be
-destroyed in such conditions.
-
-“It would have taken two weeks to get clear in the ordinary way,” he
-added. “My decision came the day of the squabble with Mr. Prentidd in
-the office. I had to leave right then--was off for Savannah that very
-night----”
-
-“And you found the ship there?” Davy asked eagerly.
-
-“I beat her there a day and a half. Then we sailed for South America. I
-want to tell you the whole story. This is not the place. Could you come
-up in my room after supper to-night?”
-
-“I think my mother will let me come----”
-
-“Tell me about your mother, Davy. Is she well? I remember I meant to
-meet her some time.”
-
-“Yes--just the same. You know she works a little, too----”
-
-“Where?” Bellair asked absently.
-
-Davy swallowed, and before he spoke, the man saw with a queer thrill
-that the boy hadn’t yet learned to lie.
-
-“Well, she goes out three days a week--to do the laundry work--for
-people who have had her a long time.”
-
-“Oh, I see.”
-
-“I’m hoping to get where she won’t have to.”
-
-“Of course.”
-
-The dinner was brought. Bellair tried to make up for the place--in
-quantity. Neither spoke for the present. The man was hungry, too.
-
-“I’m glad you told me that,” he said after a time, “glad you told me
-just that way.”
-
-Davy applied himself further. Manifestly here was a point that he need
-not follow.
-
-“Davy, you’ll come through. You’re starting in the right hard way--the
-old-fashioned way. It won’t be so slow as you think----” He was
-reminded now of what Fleury had said about the little Gleam that first
-night in the open boat.
-
-“Slow but sure at Lot & Company’s--if a fellow does his part and works
-hard----”
-
-Davy was being brought up in the usual way.
-
-Bellair said: “I’m coming over to see you at your house some evening
-soon--if I may.”
-
-“Sure.... It isn’t much of a house.”
-
-“I’m not so certain about that. Anyway, I want to come. We’ll talk
-about it again this evening. You ask your mother when she’ll let me----”
-
-“You might come to-night---instead of me coming to the hotel----”
-
-“No, I want to talk with you alone.”
-
-Davy looked relieved.... He was on his way presently, and the town
-appeared better to Bellair that afternoon. At five he was in the
-hotel-lobby when a hand plucked his sleeve and he looked down into the
-whitest, most terrified face, he had ever seen.
-
-“I’m fired!” was the intelligence that came up from it, and there was
-reproach, too.
-
-“Come on upstairs, but first take it from me that you’ll be glad of it,
-in ten minutes----”
-
-Bellair had to furnish a swift, heroic antidote for that agony.
-
-“You haven’t been home, of course?” the man asked in the elevator.
-
-“No.”
-
-“Could we send a messenger to your mother--so she wouldn’t worry, and
-you wouldn’t have to go home until after we talk?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“All right, I’ll see to that at once.”
-
-Davy wrote with trembling hands. The messenger was asked to bring an
-answer from Mrs. Acton.
-
-“Now tell me,” said Bellair.
-
-“Old Mr. Seth was down when I got back. You know he only comes down for
-an hour or two now in the middle of the day. He called me to him, and
-asked where I had been to lunch. I said with you. That was all, until
-four o’clock, when Mr. Eben came to me and asked if you had shown me
-anything--a letter from Lot & Company, for instance. I said yes. He
-went away, and at half-past four, he called me again, handed me my
-weekly envelope, saying that they would not need me any longer. I came
-right here. It seemed, I couldn’t go home----”
-
-“Davy, lad, I’m glad I’m not broke, but if I were and couldn’t do a
-thing to make up--it would be a lucky day for you.”
-
-Bellair ordered supper served in the room. They were free and alone.
-Faith returned to the boy, enough for the hour. Davy was consulted
-carefully upon the details of the order, a subtle suggestion from
-Bellair from time to time. Something of the long dinners on the _Jade_
-had come to his mind in this rôle. He had learned much about food that
-voyage, the profundity and emptiness of the subject. Bellair told his
-story, making it very clear to Davy--this at first:
-
-“The office was doing to me just what it would do to you, Davy. It
-was breaking me down. The floors of Lot & Company are filled with
-heart-broken men. They do not know it well; some of them could
-never know, but there are secrets in the breasts of men there, that
-you wouldn’t dream of. It is so all over New York. Trade makes it
-so--offices, the entire city, crowded with heart-broken men.... They
-say first, ‘Why, every one is out for himself and the dollar--why
-not I?’ You and I were taught so in our little schooling. Then Lot
-& Company taught us. They are old masters--generations of teachers.
-Cramped and bleak, but loyal to the one verb--_get_. In all the Lot
-family, Davy, there is not a true life principle such as you brought
-to the office in the beginning. But if Lot & Company were unique--they
-would be an interesting study. The city is crowded with such
-firms--heart-breakers of men, the slow, daily, terrible grind; every
-movement, every expression, a lie--until to those inside, the lie is
-reality--and the truth a forbidden and terrible stranger. Every man has
-his Lot & Company.
-
-“Davy, I breathed a bit of open that Sunday--so that I could see, but
-the next morning it closed about me again. It was Mr. Prentidd who
-helped me out. They stole from him and lied to him. Face to face, eye
-to eye, old Seth Wetherbee, the Quaker, lied to him, taking hundreds
-of dollars in the lie--millionaires taking hundreds of dollars from
-a poor inventor. I had the book of the London transaction before me,
-which showed the truth as they talked, and Mr. Sproxley came and took
-the book from me, and shut it in the safe.... And then when I left,
-they knew I had their secrets. You wondered why they called me a
-thief, when I was not. It was plain, Davy, to spoil anything I might
-say about their methods. Instantly they discredited me, because I was
-one of six or seven in the office who knew that they were thieves and
-liars. And why did they fire you to-day for lunching with me? Because
-they were afraid of what I might have told you. And why did they
-send Broadwell to Philadelphia when they knew he was to have lunch
-with me? For fear of what I might tell Broadwell. Even now they will
-not tell the different floors that I am exonerated.... But they are
-afraid, Davy--that’s their hell. That is their life--fear and the lie.
-Imagine men standing straight up to heaven--spines lifted from the
-ground, but going back to the ground--who knows but their souls already
-belly-down?--because they break the hearts of men, and live with fear
-and the lie.”
-
-He told of Fleury and Stackhouse and the Faraway Woman--of McArliss,
-of striking the reef, and day by day in the open boat.... Davy’s eyes
-bulged. The boy saw Stackhouse at one end and quiet manhood in the
-other. He sat with Bellair, whom he could understand, in the point
-of balance between these forces. Bellair told of the stars and the
-child, and the distance from which they viewed the little things of
-the world and the grand simplicity of God. He pictured the man Fleury
-had become--the straight-seeing, the fearless, the ignited man, who
-mastered the lie in his heart and the animal in his abdomen--the man
-he, Bellair, wanted to be, and wanted Davy to be.... The _Formahaut_
-came, with Spika agleam to the northward, and Fleury died--the picture
-in his mind of a man, rising rather than falling.... Bellair told him
-of the first moment he heard the real voice of Fleury, as he stood
-on the tilted deck of the _Jade_ in the dark, while he went back for
-water.... “I’ll hold a place for you!”
-
-“A real man always says that, Davy. A real man will hold a place for
-you. And I thought, as I saw Stackhouse die and remembered his life,
-that he was the saddest and most terrible animal in human form. He
-was a glutton and a coward, but mainly he broke his own heart and not
-others. He was a slave to his stomach, but there was life, not creeping
-death, in his mind. I saw the pictures that moved there, low, vivid
-pictures, animal dreams, but he was not a destroyer of children or a
-breaker of the hearts of men. Low Nature was loose in him, but it was
-not a predatory instinct alone. Having enough, he could give. He could
-give fifty thousand dollars and a wallet full of valuable papers for
-a bottle of whiskey--but the Lots and the Wetherbees would have died
-clutching their money. I learned Stackhouse, Davy--only to understand
-that there is a depth below his. I think I should have taken you out
-somehow--if they hadn’t let you go----”
-
-Davy asked questions, and the story came better and better. The thing
-that held him especially was the last days in the open boat.
-
-“And did you really suffer less when you decided to make it a fast?”
-
-“Yes, that was true in my case. Many have set out to fast ten days, and
-done with as little as we did. Of course it was harrowing, because we
-didn’t know when it would end; then the little baby was there, and the
-mother.”
-
-“And you think _he_ was really as happy as he said?”
-
-“Davy, lad, Fleury was a prince. He would have given you his shirt. He
-had himself going so strong _for us_--that the fire of happiness ran
-through him. I’ll give you some books about that. It’s really a fact.
-You can’t suffer pain, when you’ve got something really fine up your
-sleeve for another. Perhaps you’ve felt it at Christmas----”
-
-“You’re all out of yourself-like----”
-
-“That’s it,” said the man.
-
-More words would have stuck in his throat. Davy got it--got something
-of it. Bellair had come to ask so little, that this seemed a great
-deal.... He followed Davy down and into the street. It was still two
-hours before he was due at the _Castle_.
-
-“How long does it take to get to your house, Davy?”
-
-“About twenty-five minutes. It’s ’way down town.”
-
-“Suppose I should go home and meet your mother. I have the time----”
-
-“Yes, come with me. She will be watching.”
-
-They passed a delicatessen-store, ripe cherries in the window, and a
-counter full of provisions that would have been far more thrilling had
-they not dined so well.
-
-“Do you suppose we might take home an armful of these things?” Bellair
-asked.
-
-Davy dissuaded weakly.... That clerk must have thought him mad, for
-Bellair merely pointed to bottles and jars and baskets--until they were
-both loaded. There was a kind of passion about it for the man. He hated
-to stop; in fact did not, until it occurred to him that this was not
-the last night of the world, and that Davy doubtless required many more
-substantial matters, which would furnish a rapturous forenoon among the
-stores--to-morrow forenoon....
-
-They sat in an almost empty downtown subway train, their bundles about
-them, the stops called by the guard. They both hunched a little, when
-the stop nearest Lot & Company’s was called, but did not speak. Farther
-and farther downtown--the last passengers leaving. It was the hour the
-crowds move upward. Strange deep moments for Bellair--moments in which
-this was more than Davy sitting beside him. This was Boy--Davy Acton
-but the symbol of a great need.
-
-
- 6
-
-A hurried walk to the east with their bundles to a quarter that Bellair
-had not known before, past the great stretches of massive buildings
-which the day had abandoned, to a low and older sort that carried on a
-night-life of their own, where children cried, halls were narrow, and
-the warmth became heaviness.... A plump little woman who had not lost
-hope (she did not see the stranger at first because the boy filled her
-eyes); a dark, second-floor hall, a little room with a lamp and a red
-table-cloth; a door at either end, and opposite the door they entered,
-one window.... How bewildered she was with the bundles, desiring to
-prepare something for them right away. Indeed, it would have helped her
-to be active in their behalf.... Bellair was smiling.
-
-Davy told part and Bellair part. Presently all was forgotten in the
-presence of the calamity that had befallen. It was slow to change her
-mind about Lot & Company. Davy had impressed upon her for two years
-the lessons administered there. Not to be changed in a moment, this
-estimate--that before all poverty, before all need, and above all hope,
-a place at Lot & Company’s was a permanent place, “if a fellow did his
-part”--that Lot & Company was an honest house. Davy told of the paper
-Mr. Bellair had forced from them, and Bellair touched upon the life
-he had led in those halls, just a little and with haste. To help him
-to speak authoritatively, he added that he would help Davy to another
-position.... Then he looked around, and glanced at his watch. There was
-a small anteroom which they occupied.... Bellair had asked about the
-other door. “An empty room,” Mrs. Acton told him.
-
-Of course it was for rent. On the spur of the moment, he declared
-he would take it, asked her to rent it for him, insisting on paying
-in advance. He would come in the morning--have his things brought
-later.... No, Davy was not to look for a position to-morrow. Davy must
-devote himself to him to-morrow. He left them happily. The mother
-called after him in hopeless excitement that he had left enough to rent
-the room all summer.
-
-He did not show the Lot & Company paper to Bessie; in fact, he never
-showed it but once, and that was to Davy Acton immediately after it
-was obtained. He had thought of taking it across the street to show
-the landlady, but perhaps that would merely have added to her living
-confusion. It had been most important for Davy, but to reopen the
-subject with Bessie, his manner might have touched an “I-told-you-so”
-indelicacy.... She was happy when he found her that night. Clothes
-in quantity were already begun--the next ten forenoons at the
-dressmakers’. She thanked him charmingly, studied him with a quizzical
-expression that invariably haunted him afterward.
-
-Bellair could never tell just what would do it, but occasionally
-through an hour’s chat, he would say something, just enough above her
-comprehension to challenge her. Once opened, her faculties were not
-slow, but the life she had chosen, held her mind so consistently to its
-common level that the habit was formed. Mainly when he spoke above her,
-she ceased to listen, ignored him; but when something he said just hit
-home, she praised him with animation, as one would a sudden gleam of
-unexpected intelligence on the part of a child. It became one of his
-most remarkable realisations that a man who has anything worth while to
-say must come down to say it, just as certainly as he must go up to get
-it.
-
-The sense of adventure with her did not return this night, though she
-had seemed to accept him differently from before; as if he belonged,
-part of her impediment mainly, but at moments of surpassing value, like
-a machine that one packs a day for a half-hour’s work it may do. His
-money had purchased something.
-
-Bellair sat in the dark of his room, feet on the window-sill, hat
-still on, at two o’clock, his last night in the hotel where he never
-had belonged. He was very tired and longed for sleep; and yet there
-was a different longing for sleep than that which belonged to physical
-weariness. It had to do with his hunger for the Faraway Woman. This
-startled him. What was that refreshing mystery afterward? Did he go
-to her in sleep--did she come? Why was it that the burden of parting
-invariably increased through the long days? It had been so on the ship.
-In the morning he could live; then the hours settled down, until it
-seemed he must leap back to her; the ship’s ever increasing distance at
-times literally twisting his faculties until he was dazed with pain.
-
-He had not thought of this before. Why was it always when the pressure
-increased and the ardour mounted--that he longed for sleep?... Nothing
-came to his work-a-day brain from the nights. His dreams were of lesser
-matters--and yet, something within pulled him to unconsciousness like
-the rush of a tide. It gave him a sense of the vastness, a glimpse of
-the inner beauty of life.
-
-Far below in the side-street a heavy, slow-trotting horse clattered
-by. The motors were more and more hushed, even the hell of Broadway
-subdued. A different set of sounds came home to him, but he did not
-interpret for the present; their activity playing upon deeps of their
-own--a bridge swung open between them and his exterior thoughts....
-
-Slowly all exterior matters slipped away--the mother and Davy and
-Bessie. The bridge between the surface and the deeps swung to, and he
-heard the sounds that had been thrilling his real being all the time as
-he sat by the window--the liner whistles that crossed Manhattan from
-the harbour, the deep-sea bayings which seemed to be calling him home.
-
-
- 7
-
-Bellair must have rested well in a few hours, for he arose early,
-feeling very fit in and out. For years the man he had seen in the
-glass when he was alone, had aroused little or no curiosity; a sort
-of customary forbearance rather. The fact is, he had not looked close
-for years. This morning as he shaved, something new regarded him from
-the face, still deeply dark from the open boat. He called it a glint,
-but would have designated it as something that had to do with power in
-another. It was fixed--something earned and delivered.
-
-Perhaps it was something she had seen.
-
-This animated him. It had come from Fleury and the fasting, but most of
-all from contemplating her face and her nature. Was it the arousing of
-his own latent will? Was it because he was lifted above Lot & Company?
-What part of it had come from the anguish of separation? Truly a man
-must build something if he manages to live against the quickened beat
-of a hungry heart.
-
-The face was very thin, too. He had felt that so often as he used the
-morning knife, but he saw it now. Thin and dark, and the boy gone
-altogether.... Bellair smiled. Lot & Company had tried to take the
-boy. Had they not failed, the man would never have come, but something
-craven in the place of the boy, something tied to its own death, its
-soul shielded from the light--a shield of coin-metals.
-
-He shuddered, less at the narrowness of his own escape, than at New
-York whose business came up to him now through the open windows.... The
-shaving had dragged. He was not accustomed to study his own face. The
-very novelty of it had held him this time--and especially the thought
-of what she might have seen there. Suddenly he wanted something big to
-take back to her--a manhood of mind and an integrity of soul--something
-to match that superb freedom she had wrung from the world. A thousand
-times the different parts of her story had returned to his mind, always
-filling him with awe and wonder. She had come like one with a task, and
-set about it from a child, against all odds, putting all laws of men
-beneath--as if the task had been arranged before she came. He knew that
-the essence of this freedom was in the hearts of women everywhere, but
-she had made it manifest, dared all suffering for it. And yet with all
-the struggle behind her, the gentleness which he had come to know in
-her nature was one of the great revelations. It gave him a vision of
-the potential beauty of humanity; it made him understand that one must
-be powerful before one can be gentle; that one must master one’s self
-before one dare be free. All that he had was far too little to bring
-home to her. This morning he felt that nothing short of the impossible
-was worth going after.
-
-A little later as he was leaving the room, the telephone rang. The
-operator said that a gentleman wanted to see him. On the lower floor,
-Bellair glanced into the eyes of a young man who wanted something;
-“glanced _into_” is somewhat inaccurate; rather his eyes glanced
-from the other’s, and took away a peculiar, indescribable interest.
-It was the look of a colt he had seen, a glitter of wildness and
-irresponsibility in a face that was handsome but not at its best.
-
-Bellair had seen something of the expression in the faces of young men
-who had been fathered too much; those who had not met the masterful
-influence of denial, and had been allowed to lean too long. The face
-had everything to charm and to express beauty and reality with, but the
-inner lines of it were not formed; the judgments lacking, the personal
-needs too imperious. He had made the most of well-worn clothing, but
-appeared to feel keenly the poorness of it.
-
-“I came in here yesterday,” he said hastily. “It all happened because
-the ledger was turned back. I glanced at it, as one will, and standing
-out from the page was ‘Auckland, N. Z.’ It was as if written in
-different colour to me. I followed the line back to the name--and tried
-to see you yesterday afternoon and last night. You didn’t come in----”
-
-“You come from Auckland?” Bellair asked.
-
-“Yes----”
-
-“How long?”
-
-“It’s more than a year.... Small thing to meet a stranger on, but it
-was all I had. Auckland is so far and so different--that when I saw
-it--it seemed there must be a chance----”
-
-“Of course. I know how it is,” said Bellair. “Do you want to get back?”
-
-“That isn’t it, exactly, though I haven’t anything here----”
-
-“Have you had breakfast?”
-
-“N-no.”
-
-“Come in with me and we’ll talk. I have a half-hour to spare.”
-
-Bellair heard his voice and wondered at the coldness of it. He
-remembered afterward the covered billiard-tables at the far end of
-the hall and the dimness of the hall’s length, as he led the way. His
-own custom was a pot of coffee and a bit of toast, but the other’s
-possible need of food had a singular authority over him, so he made out
-that this was one of the main feeding features of his day.... But the
-other was intent upon certain things beside food. He had been unlucky.
-Everything that he had tried in the year of New York had failed him
-somehow--little ventures, positions lost--and always some one was to
-blame, not this one who spoke and had suffered so. Bellair hearkened
-for one note that would confine itself to the unfinished mouth and
-the unstable character; one note that would suggest the possibility
-of a clue that the series of failures lay in his own shortcomings of
-strength and quality, but the boy had not this suggestion in his heart.
-
-“Are you married?” Bellair asked.
-
-“No.”
-
-There was an instant’s lull, and then was turned off another story of
-misfortune:
-
-“... I didn’t want to marry her. I got her in trouble down in New
-Zealand. Her father wanted me to marry her--was willing to pay for
-it--but a fellow can’t take a chance like that. We came up together
-with the kid to New York, but everything broke bad for me----”
-
-The voice went on, but Bellair lost his face. There was a
-greenish-yellow light between their faces, at least, for Bellair’s
-eyes, and the floor seemed shaken with heavy machinery. Bellair
-knew the burn of hate, and the thirst to kill--and then he was all
-uncentred, like a man badly wounded. He arose.
-
-“... The fact is, I don’t think she was quite _right_. None of them
-are----”
-
-“I won’t be able to hear any more of that just now,” Bellair said
-slowly. “I’m leaving this hotel to-day for other quarters. But
-to-morrow morning at ten, I shall be here and listen to what you want.
-Perhaps I can set you straight a bit--for the present, anyway. And
-this--is so you won’t miss any meals in the meantime----”
-
-Bellair handed him money.
-
-“Please excuse me,” he added. “And finish your breakfast----”
-
-He called the waiter and signed the card. Then he turned as if to look
-around the room. He located the door by which they had entered, drew
-his hands strangely across his eyes. Effusive gratefulness was seeking
-his ears from the young man in the chair. Bellair lifted his hand as if
-to cut off the voice, and then started for the door, his step hastening.
-
-
- 8
-
-It was truly a tenement quarter in which Davy and his mother lived. The
-fact awed Bellair somewhat. Had he been a cripple in a wheeled-chair,
-confined to one side of one block, he could have found a life’s
-work.... Little faces that choked him everywhere. One might toss coins
-at their feet, but the futility of that was like a cry to God.
-
-Davy’s mother was making his room ready. By some chance it faced the
-east; between ten and noon, there was sunlight. Forty years ago it had
-been the kitchen of a second-floor apartment, doubtless respectable.
-Only the scars of the kitchen fixtures remained, like organs gone back
-to a rudiment in swift involution. Water now was to be had in but one
-place on each floor--in the hall, and the natives came there with their
-pitchers and cans as tropical villagers, morning and evening to the
-well.
-
-Mrs. Acton had spared a bit of carpet, which looked as if it had been
-scrubbed; and just below the window the tip of a heaven-tree waved. It
-was thin as his single bed, but even that growth seemed miraculously
-attained, as if the seed must have held all the nourishment. Bellair
-stared down through shadows and litter, and could discern no more than
-a crack in the stone pavement, from which this leafy creature had come
-to him. Quite as miraculously it was, with the myriad children in the
-streets and halls. Certainly this was a place to keep tender. Davy had
-gone forth on an errand.
-
-“What was he interested in especially when he was little?” Bellair
-asked.
-
-“Boats--boats,” said the mother.
-
-It struck the man queerly that he had not noted this. Davy had devoured
-his little list of sea stories, and had listened as no one else to the
-open boat narrative, but the man fancied it just the love of adventure.
-Bellair’s mother might have said the same thing.
-
-“Did he draw them, you mean?” he asked.
-
-“Yes, and played with them. His father was a seaman, Mr. Bellair.”
-
-Bellair’s father had not been a seaman, but there was little to that.
-They were one in the initial proclivity. Perhaps if the truth were
-shaken down, there was something in this fact that had to do with their
-relation.
-
-“Could I have breakfast and supper here with you?” he asked suddenly.
-
-The woman looked startled. “You see, I am away three days a week.”
-
-It was Bellair’s idea to make this impossible, so he insisted:
-
-“My wants are simple. I might not be here always to supper--but, of
-course, I should want to pay for it. It would be pleasant--we three
-together--and no matter to me if supper were a bit late. You see, Mrs.
-Acton, now that I’ve begun, I insist on having a home. I lived in one
-room for five years, and that sort of thing is ended. A hotel is no
-better.”
-
-Davy returned and Bellair took him forth at once, impatient to continue
-the adventure of the purchases, begun the night before. Hours passed.
-Once Davy looked up to him in a mixture of awe and joy:
-
-“Why are you buying so many things for us, Mr. Bellair?”
-
-“Sit down,” the man answered.
-
-They were in a retail clothier’s. The salesman drew back.
-
-“Davy,” said Bellair, “it’s the most natural thing. First I have the
-money and you have the needs. Second, we are friends----”
-
-Bellair had felt many things hammering for utterance, but when he had
-come thus far, he found that the whole ground was covered.... The boy
-hurried home, but Bellair was not ready. With all his affection for
-the lad, he wanted to be alone. He had held himself to Davy’s needs
-for hours; but through it all, the sentences--so brief and thoughtless
-across the breakfast table--recurred smitingly. They hurt everything in
-him and in an incredible fashion. He marvelled that he had been able
-to reply quietly. His face burned now, and he thought of the Faraway
-Woman--how gentle she had been, blaming nothing, holding no sense of
-being wronged. It was that which helped him now, though his heart was
-hot and aching.... One must have compassion for the world--one whose
-home is the house of such a woman.
-
-“It must not hurt the Gleam,” he said half-aloud. This was the burden
-of all his effort. “The Gleam is hers. I must not let the thought of
-this touch the Gleam--not even in my mind.”
-
-The young man was stranded in New York. They met as arranged the
-next morning. Many difficulties were related, and the perversities
-of outside influences and the actions of others. The great regret
-was that at a certain time when he _had_ the money more than a year
-ago, the young man had delayed for a day to purchase a certain little
-tobacconist’s shop on Seventh avenue. A friend of his had advised him
-against it, and plucked the fruit himself. This gave Bellair an idea.
-
-In the next ten days, everything seemed waiting for the manager of
-the _Follies_ to decide the case of Bessie Brealt. Davy was permitted
-to look for a new job, but Bellair made light of his unsuccess....
-He did not look up Broadwell again, understanding clearly that the
-advertising-man would endanger his position in calling on him. Bellair
-was not ready to be responsible for such a loss to Broadwell. Employés
-of Lot & Company did not change easily.... He was frequently, but never
-long with Bessie during these days. There were moments of disturbing
-sweetness, and moments that he struggled quickly to forget, as Nature
-sets about hastily to cover unseemly matters upon the ground.
-
-Now that the great event of her life had come, Bessie required much
-sleep, and cared for her beauty as never before. She already lived, for
-the most part, in the actual substance of victory, as only the young
-dare to do; yet she lost none of her zeal in preparation.... Bellair
-held to the original idea, though the means was not yet articulate. He
-was sensitive enough to realise that a man may be impertinent, even
-when trying to help another.
-
-The tremendous discovery in this interval was that the open boat events
-which had proved so salutary and constructive in his own case, did not
-appear to have a comparable effect upon others when he related them. He
-began to believe that he had not authority, and that he must somehow
-try to gain authority by making good with men. He had his story to
-tell. He had seen the spirit and the flesh--beast and saint--watched
-them die. All life and hope and meaning were caught and held, as he saw
-it, between the manner of the deaths of two men. This experience had
-changed him--if not for the better--then he was insane.
-
-It was hard for him to grasp, that the thing which had changed him
-could not change others--even Bessie. Yet those who listened, except
-Davy and his mother, appeared to think that he was making much of an
-adventure for personal reasons. He tried to write his story, but felt
-the bones of his skull as never before. He began, “I am a simple man,”
-but deep guile might be construed to that.... “I want nothing,” he
-wrote, “but to make you see the half that I saw in the open boat,” and
-he heard the world replying in his consciousness, “The open boat is on
-this man Bellair’s nerves. It’s his mania. The sun or the thirst _did_
-touch him a bit.”...
-
-He became afraid to talk much even with Bessie, and New York boomed
-by, leaving him out--out.... He tried to lift the signs of misery on
-the way to the home of Davy’s mother, and in the surrounding halls,
-but the extent and terror of it dismayed him; and remarkably enough,
-always this same answer came: that he must get himself and the South
-Sea business in hand before a true beginning could be made here....
-
-It wasn’t on Seventh avenue that he found a cigar store to suit his
-purpose in this interval, but the promise was certainly as good as
-the old one. He put the New Zealand young man in charge, on a basis
-designed to challenge any one’s quality; and having done this in a
-businesslike fashion, Bellair made haste to escape. The sense was cool
-and abiding in his mind that in this case, as in Lot & Company’s, the
-circle was complete. Still he retained the suspicion that the young man
-did not believe him sane.
-
-He followed the singer when she permitted, to dressmakers, rehearsals,
-quartette performances and meals; found other men following singers
-similarly, in all their byways of routine; he disliked them, disliked
-himself.
-
-He had not told her of his fortune, because he knew in his heart it
-would change everything. He helped in many small ways, and allowed her
-to believe what she chose. She had never identified him with large
-things, did not think the present arrangement could last, and made as
-much as possible of the convenience. They were together on the night
-before her try-out, though as usual it was but a matter of moments.
-Bellair used most of them in silence. The tension of hurry always
-stopped his throat. He longed for one full day with her, a ramble
-without the clock; yet what would he do with it--he, who dared not go
-to the water-front alone--to whom the night whistling of steamers in
-the harbour was like the call of the child of his heart?
-
-“You are at your best,” he said. “Your voice was never sweeter than
-to-night. You must go now and sleep. To-morrow, of course, you will
-win, and when may I come?”
-
-Her face clouded. Perhaps because he said the opposite, the thought of
-possible defeat came now with a clearness which had not before appealed
-to her unpracticed imagination.
-
-“You may come to my room at twelve--no, at one. I shall go there at
-once after the trial--and you shall be first.”
-
-It pleased him, and since she did not seem inclined to leave just
-then, Bellair found himself talking of the future. Perhaps he did not
-entirely cover his zeal to change a little her full-hearted giving of
-self to the foam. Bessie bore it. He had not spoken of the open boat,
-but something he said was related to it in her mind.
-
-“To-morrow will settle everything,” she declared.... “And I don’t like
-that other woman on the ship. She isn’t human. You think it amazing
-because she didn’t cry and scream. That isn’t everything.... She’d be
-lost and unheard of here in New York.”
-
-“Yes, that is probably true.”
-
-“It’s all right for people who don’t write or paint or sing--to talk
-about real life and what’s right work in the world, but artists see it
-differently. Anyway, it’s the only job we’ve got.”
-
-Bellair never forgot that, or rather what she had meant to say.
-
-“Singing is what drew me to you, Bessie. What I object to is what the
-world tries to do with its singers, and that so many singers fall for
-it.”
-
-“The world lets you more or less alone--until you make good. Plenty of
-time after that to answer back.”
-
-She yawned. It was as near reality as they had gotten, and Bellair, who
-asked so little, had a glimpse again of the loveliness he had first
-taken to sea--even to the kiss at the last. She also granted him this:
-
-“You’ve been good to me. I couldn’t have done without you----”
-
-He lay awake long. The house in which he lived was very silent, and it
-pressed so close to the sea.
-
-
- 9
-
-She was only partly dressed when he came early the next afternoon, but
-was not long in letting him in. Before any words, he knew that she had
-won. A man often has to readjust hastily after the night before. It was
-so with Bellair now. Her eyes were bright with emotions, but a certain
-hardness was shining there. It was an effort for her to think of him
-and be kind. He would have seen it all in another’s story.
-
-His glance kept turning to her bare arm, upon which a hideous
-vaccination-scar was revealed. _They_ had not thought of her singing
-in those days.... She had never spoken of her house or her people. It
-was enough that those days were finished. Bellair could understand
-that. Her victory was all through her now, satisfying, completing her.
-She did not love money for its own sake or she would have treated him
-differently. All her surplus energy, even her passion, was turned to
-this open passage of her career. Having that, previous props could be
-kicked away; at least, Bellair felt this.
-
-“Yes, it’s all done. A month of solid rehearsal--then the road. I take
-the second part, but I hope to come back in the first----”
-
-“You were at your best at the trial?”
-
-“After the first moment or two.... And no more Brandt’s or _Castle_--no
-more with the other three--God, how sick I am of them--and of this
-room!”
-
-“Will you lunch with me?”
-
-“Yes--I have until three.”
-
-It was shortly after one. She talked with animation about her work,
-her eyes held to a glistening future. She finished her dressing
-leisurely, with loving touches, abandoning herself completely to
-the mirror as an old actress might, having conceded the essential
-importance of attractions. She studied her face and figure as if she
-were the maid to them. Bessie dressed for the world, not for herself,
-certainly not for Bellair. Without, in the world--streets, restaurants,
-theatres--there existed an abstraction which must be satisfied. She had
-not yet entered upon that perilous adventure of dressing for the eyes
-of one man. She did not think of Bellair as she lifted her arms to her
-hair. On no other morning could she have been so far from the sense of
-him in her room. Empires have fallen because a woman has lifted her
-naked arms to her hair with a man in the room.
-
-An older woman would have rewarded him for being there; an older woman
-never would have put on her hat for the street without remembering her
-humanity. There was something in Bessie that reserved the kiss for the
-last. Possibly after the last song of the day, a kiss remained. She put
-on the flowers he brought; even that did not remind her, nor the dress
-he had bought for her--asking him if he approved, not that she cared,
-but because she was turning before the glass with the thing upon her
-body and mind. She would have asked a child the same.
-
-They went to Beathe’s for luncheon, which was also Bessie’s breakfast.
-There, it may have been that she was ready to forget herself, knowing
-it would keep for a little. In any event, she seemed to see Bellair
-as he ordered for her, as if recalling that he had made many things
-move easily of late, and that it was pleasant to have these matters,
-even luncheons, conducted by another. Thinking of him, the voyage was
-instantly associated:
-
-“I said last night that I didn’t like that woman,” she began. “I didn’t
-mean just that, of course. But a woman can see another woman better
-than a man. There are women who keep their mouths shut and get great
-reputations for being wise and all that. They never associate with
-women. You’ll always find them with men, playing sister and helping and
-saying little. Men get to think they’re the whole thing----”
-
-“I suppose there are,” said Bellair.
-
-He wished she had not picked up this particular point again; and yet a
-certain novelty about this impressed him now, and recurred many times
-afterward--that it was she who had broached the subject.
-
-“Do you think a man knows men better than a woman does?” he asked.
-
-Bessie had not thought of it; she was not sure.
-
-Nor was Bellair. “The fact is, it doesn’t greatly matter what women
-think of women, and what men think of men--compared to what men and
-women think of each other,” he observed.
-
-“You say you didn’t know that other man at first--that preacher,” she
-remarked.
-
-“That’s true. There had to be danger--I had to hear his voice in
-danger.”
-
-Bellair was lifted to his life-theme. He had never really told it in
-one piece. He did not mean to now, but Fleury came clearly to mind. The
-food was served and it was quiet behind the palms. If he could only say
-something for her heart. She seemed ready. Points of human interest
-were crowding to mind--perhaps he could hold her with them.
-
-“... His every thought was for others,” he was saying. “I disliked him
-at first, but he was so kind and good-natured throughout that he could
-not fail to impress me a bit, but I didn’t really see him before the
-night of the wreck, when he arose to take things in hand. It was not
-noise, nor voice, but a different force. He seemed to rise--so that the
-huge Stackhouse was just a squealing pig before him. He had no fear.
-You looked into his face and wanted to be near him, and to do what
-he said. I caught his secret. A fool would. It was because he wasn’t
-thinking of himself. It seems, Bessie, as sure as you live--that the
-more a man gives out in that pure way Fleury did for us all--the more
-power floods into him. It came to him in volumes. We all knew it--even
-Stackhouse----
-
-“And this is what I’m getting at. _You’ve_ got the chance to use it.
-I can’t yet. I seem to be all clotted with what I want, but you can!
-You did. You pulled me out of the crowd, not knowing me at all--made
-me come to you--changed me. You can _give_ with your singing--to
-hundreds--so that they will answer in their thoughts, and do things
-strange to themselves at first. They’ll want to die for you--but
-that isn’t the thing for you. You must want to sing for them--want
-to give them your soul all the time. Greater things will come to you
-than this--this which makes you happy. All that the world could give
-you--you will come to see--doesn’t matter--but what you can give the
-world----”
-
-He saw her falling away from his story. It crippled him. He did not
-think he could fail so utterly.
-
-“But you _were_ a thief,” she said.
-
-“I--was what?”
-
-“You preach all the time, but you were a thief----”
-
-He had heard aright. His hand reached for the wallet, that contained
-the letter from Lot & Company, but fell from it again.
-
-“If you like,” he answered, “but I saw a beast die in the open
-boat--and saw a saint die----”
-
-“You preach--preach--preach!” she cried, and her own points of view
-returned with greater intensity. “You’ve been kind--but, oh, you bore
-me so! You have been kind--but oh, don’t think you fail to make
-one pay the price! You were sunstruck, or crazed--and you come back
-preaching. I’m sick of you--just in my highest day, after the months of
-struggle--I hate you----”
-
-Bellair heard a ship’s bell. It was dark about him--a cool, serene
-dark. The air fanned him softly and sweet; the place rocked--just for
-an instant, as if he were at sea.
-
-“I hate you when you preach,” she finished. Her voice was softer. He
-knew she was smiling, but did not look at her face. She had delivered
-him. He was calm, and ineffably free, the circle finished.
-
-“_Oh, that we two were Maying_----” he muttered, his thoughts far down
-the seas--remote and insular, serene and homing thoughts.
-
-“It takes two to sing that,” she said.
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“But, I’m so sick of that----”
-
-“You must have sung it many times,” he said.
-
-He did not want to linger. A certain hush had come to her from him. It
-was not yet three.... He seemed surprised to find it broad day in the
-street. She touched his sleeve, drawing him to the curb, away from the
-crowds which astonished him. Clearly something was wrong with his head.
-
-“Bessie--before your salary begins--have you everything? Isn’t there
-something----?”
-
-She smiled and hesitated. He rubbed his eyes.
-
-“I’m so glad I thought of it,” he said, drawing forth the brown wallet.
-
-His gift bewildered her, but she did not ask him this time what he
-wanted. Instead she asked:
-
-“But where are you going?”
-
-“Why, Bessie, I’m going home.”
-
-
-
-
-PART SEVEN
-
-THE STONE HOUSE: II
-
-
- 1
-
-THE hard thing was to get Honolulu behind. The first seven days at
-sea was like a voyage to another planet. Bellair could lose himself
-in the universe, between the banging of the Chinese gongs that called
-passengers willingly, for the most part, to meals on the British ship
-_Suwarrow_.... They had crawled out of the harbour in the dusk, a
-southwest wind waiting at the gate, like an eager lover for a maiden to
-steal forth. She was in his arms shamelessly, before the dusk closed,
-the voices from the land hardly yet having died away. Bellair watched
-their meeting in the offing. The blusterer came head on; the _Suwarrow_
-veered coquettishly and started to run, knowing him the swifter and
-the stronger, as all woman-things love to know. Presently he had her,
-and they made a night of it--the moon breaking out aghast from time
-to time, above black and flying garments of cloud. Bellair enjoyed the
-game, the funnels smoking the upper decks straight forward. They were
-making a passage that night, in the southward lift of that lover.
-
-He had found a little leaf of cigars in a German shop in Honolulu;
-the same reminding him of Stackhouse. They were _Brills_, with a
-Trichinopoli flavour, a wrapping from the States, the main filler
-doubtless from the Island plantations. The German had talked of them
-long, playing with the clotty little fellows in his hands, for they
-were moist enough, not easily to be broken. “You sink your teeth in
-one of these after a good dinner,” he said, “and if you do not enjoy
-tobacco, it is because you have been smoking other plants. These are
-made by a workman----”
-
-Bellair smoked to the workman; also he smoked to Stackhouse. Something
-kindly had come over him for the Animal. Lot & Company had helped him
-to it.... Yes, he thought, the animal part is right enough. It is only
-when the human adult consciousness turns predatory that the earth is
-laid waste and the stars are fogged.... These were but back-flips
-of Bellair’s mind. In the main he was held so furiously ahead, that
-body and brain ached with the strain. As nearly as he could describe
-from the sensation, there was a carbon-stick upstanding between his
-diaphragm and his throat. Every time he thought of Auckland, it turned
-hot.
-
-... He knew better where to begin now. The beginning was not in New
-York. The wallet was heavy upon him; he must not waste it; nor allow
-it to waste itself through bad management. Auckland was a desirable
-centre for the Stackhouse operations. He could travel forth from one
-agency to another. The fundamental ideas of trade, together with large
-knowledge of how trade should not be conducted, was his heritage from
-Lot & Company. He would begin slowly and sincerely to work out his big
-problems--holding the fruits loosely in his hands; ready to give them
-up to another, if that other should appear; contenting himself only
-with the simplest things; preparing always to be poorer, instead of
-richer.... He would earn the right to be poor. The thought warmed him,
-something of the natural strength of youth about it.
-
-Standing out of the wind with an expensive cigar, a superb
-course-dinner finished less than an hour back, Bellair smiled at the
-ease of poverty, welcoming all the details of clean, austere denial.
-Yet he was not so far from it as would appear. He had always taken
-these matters of luxury and satiety with tentative grasp; even the
-dinners of Stackhouse were but studies of life. His ideal was closely
-adjusted to the Faraway Woman’s in these things. One of the dearest of
-her sayings had to do with renting the two front rooms of the stone
-cottage. Yet now he hoped furiously that she had not yet done so.
-
-His thoughts turned again out among the Islands. He would meet the
-agents of Stackhouse. They would be bewildered at first; they would
-think he had come to peer and bite. He would lift and help and pass
-on--making the circles again and again, gaining confidence, not saying
-much. No, the thing he had in mind had little to do with words.... What
-a masonry among men--here and there one giving his best secretly.
-
-_No words about it._ Bellair halted and filled his lungs from the good
-breeze. This thought had repeated itself like a certain bright pattern
-through all the weave of his conception. It had a familiar look, and
-a prod that startled him now. The whole meaning of it rushed home, so
-that he laughed.
-
-He had reached in his own way, the exact point that Fleury had set out
-with. He was determined to act. He had ceased to talk.... Just then
-looking up from his laughing reverie, he saw a star. It was ahead, not
-high, very brilliant and golden. It had only escaped a moment between
-the flying black figures of the night, but more brilliant for that. It
-was vast and familiar--the meaning tried the throat and struck at his
-heart with strange suffering.... Yes, the _Suwarrow_ was lifting the
-southern stars. There could be no doubt. He had looked at that mighty
-sun too often from the open boat to mistake. Fleury had said if it were
-as near to earth as our sun, this little planet would be dried to a
-cinder in ten seconds. It was the great golden ball, _Canopus_.... A
-hand was placed softly in his. Bellair was startled. He had been far
-away, yet the gladness was instant, as he turned down to the face of
-Davy Acton.
-
-“She’s better,” the boy said. “I’ve been trying to get her to come up
-on deck. She told me to ask you, if you thought it best.”
-
-“Sure, Davy--I’ll go with you to get her.”
-
-
- 2
-
-He had seen very little of Mrs. Acton during the voyage. Sailing was
-not her feat, but the lady was winsome after her fast. Bellair had
-found her very brave, and there had not been such an opportunity to
-tell her so, as this night. He wanted enough light to see her face, and
-enough air to keep her above any qualm. They found a cane-table, on the
-lee-side, toward America, the light of a cabin passage upon it. Bellair
-ordered an innocuous drink for Davy and himself, and whispered along a
-pint of champagne, having heard it spoken well of as an antidote for
-those emerging from the sickness of the sea.
-
-“... It’s a little charged, cidery sort of a drink--just made for
-people convalescent from the first days out of ’Frisco,” he said.
-
-She drank with serene confidence, and leaned back to regard the glass
-and the two.
-
-“It’s not unlike a wine I drank long ago,” she observed, and her eyes
-warmed with the memory.
-
-“A wine?” he said.
-
-“Just so, but it’s no crutch for the poor, I should say, by the way it
-comes----”
-
-She pointed to the service-tub, which, unfortunately, was of silver.
-
-“They like to keep it cold,” Bellair suggested.
-
-“It would need ice to keep that cold,” she replied.
-
-There was a lyrical lilt to her words that he had not known before; in
-fact he hadn’t quite known Mrs. Acton before. She was lifted from the
-stratum of the submerged. She had her hands, her health, and the days
-now and ahead were novel in aspect. A little seasickness was nothing
-to one who had met the City, and for years prevented it from taking
-her boy. The heart for adventure was not dead within her.... In fact,
-Bellair, surveying the little plump white creature in new black, with
-a sparkle in her eye, her hand upon the thin stem of a glass, entered
-upon a pleasant passage.
-
-“You see, Mrs. Acton--I’ve been struck ever since we sailed by the
-courage you showed in crossing the world like this, at the word from a
-stranger----”
-
-“Stranger,” she repeated.
-
-“I wanted you to take me up on that, but the fact is, you came at my
-word.”
-
-“’Twas not much I had to leave----”
-
-“I liked it better than the hotel.”
-
-“Do you know, Mr. Bellair, I never gave up the hope of travel--a bit of
-travel before I passed? But I thought it would be alone from Davy----”
-Her eyes glistened.
-
-Bellair was wondering if there were others in that tenement-house who
-had kept a hope.
-
-“You know,” he said, “when I decided to ask you to come--because I was
-far from finished with our lad--I anticipated that it would be somewhat
-of a struggle. I saw how hard it was for you at first--the night we
-told you about his loss of a place----”
-
-“We were on the edge so long--the least bump ready to push us over,”
-she murmured.
-
-“I made a little arrangement with the express company to furnish you
-with a return ticket--you and Davy, or cheques to secure them, and
-enough beside to get you back to New York at any time----”
-
-Her eyes widened. She turned to her boy to see if he were in this great
-business. Wonders had not ceased for him, since the first evening at
-the hotel. Davy was intent upon her now, even more than upon his friend.
-
-“So I had it all fixed in your name. There’s an agency in Auckland--one
-in every city--so you can’t go broke. And no one can cash these things
-but you--after you call and register your signature. You’ll find enough
-and to spare for your passage (though I hope you won’t use it for many
-a year), and expenses for you and the boy----”
-
-There were tears in her eyes. Bellair poured her wineglass full in the
-excitement.
-
-“You didn’t need to do anything like that----”
-
-“That’s a point I am particularly proud of,” he answered.
-
-“I’ll put this away for you,” she said, taking the proffered envelope.
-
-The face of dusty wax-work sped past his inner eyes.
-
-“It’s all one,” she added. “It’s easy for me to say this, having
-nothing but what you give me. Did you hear of the house where every one
-put what they had in a basket hanging from the ceiling?”
-
-“No,” he said.
-
-“’Twas mainly empty. The poor are great-hearted, and those who have
-nothing.... This, I’ll put in no basket, but the bank, and you’ll have
-it when you get through giving away the rest. I’ll trust in the Lord,
-sure, to take me home----”
-
-“I haven’t been very successful in giving away much,” he said. “That’s
-our problem down here among the Islands. Davy is to grow up and help
-me. You are to help us. There is another to help us.”
-
-Mrs. Acton finished her glass. “Is it as much as that, then?”
-
-Davy was regarding her with fine pride in his eyes.
-
-Bellair sent him to the cabin for a book that would be hard to find,
-and turned to the boy’s mother:
-
-“I’ve got something to say to you about Davy. I brought back a story
-and a fortune from my other trip down here. The story was more
-important by a whole lot. It changed everything for me. I thought I’d
-only have to tell it, to change others. That didn’t work. But Davy
-listened, and he wasn’t the same afterward.
-
-“I didn’t understand him at first. I used to think when he didn’t
-speak, he was bored. I used to think I had to entertain him, buy him
-with gifts. But I was wrong. He was thinking things out for himself all
-the time. He was puzzled at first why any one cared to be good to him
-and be a friend to him--God, what a price the world must pay for making
-boys as strange to kindness as that.... But this is what I want to say.
-He believed in me long ago in Lot & Company’s. I succeeded in making
-him believe in me again. And because he believed in me, he believed in
-my story, and when he heard that--he wasn’t the same afterward.
-
-“I tell you, boys are full of wonderful things, but the world has shut
-the door on them. All we’ve got to do is to be patient and kind and
-keep the door open, and we’ll have human heroes about us presently,
-instead of wolves and foxes and parrots and apes.... I learned that
-from Davy Acton. After he accepted me, he got my story--and that showed
-me that my work is with boys, and that first I’ve got to make them
-believe in me. I’ve got to be the kind of a man to win that. We’ll all
-pull together--you and Davy and that other and I.
-
-“I’m going to help Davy, and I’m going to help boys. They’re not set.
-They change. They are open to dreams and ready for action. They can
-forget themselves long enough to listen. The world has treated them
-badly; the world has been a stupid fool in bringing up its children.
-Why, it’s half luck if we manage to amount to anything! I think I know
-now how to do better. I’m going to try. Why, I’d spend five years and
-all I have to give one boy his big, deep chance of being as human as
-God intended. I’ll help boys to find their work, show them how to be
-clean and fit and strong. I’ll show them that _getting_ is but an
-incident, and when carried too far becomes the crime and the hell of
-the world.... He’s coming back--and he’s found the book, too. I must
-use it----”
-
-He had told his story in a kind of gust, and the little woman had
-listened like a sensitive-plate, her eyes brimming, her son moving
-higher and higher in a future that was safe and green and pure.... It
-had come out at last for Bellair. He was happy, for he knew that this
-which had been born to-night, with the help of the mother’s listening,
-was the right good thing--the thing that had come home from hard
-experience to the heart of a simple man.
-
-“Davy,” he said, “I’ve got a suspicion that your mother could eat
-something. Call a steward, lad.”
-
-She started and fumbled for her handkerchief.
-
-“Do you know--that is--I might try a bite, Mr. Bellair----”
-
-The man was smiling. Davy returned and sat down wonderingly between
-them. His mother kept her mouth covered, but her eyes were wells of joy.
-
-“I don’t know whether it’s that cider that needs keeping so cold,” she
-began steadily, “or this which Mr. Bellair has been saying, but the
-truth is, Davy, I haven’t been so happy since a girl----”
-
-“A little lunch will fix that,” Bellair suggested absently.
-
-“If it will,” she returned, “tell the man that it’s nothing I wish for,
-this night.”
-
-
- 3
-
-Auckland passengers were not to be landed until the morning, but the
-_Suwarrow_ sent one boat ashore that night. By some law unknown to the
-outsider, a few top bags of mail were discriminately favoured, and they
-were in the boat. The second officer, with a handful of telegrams to
-be filed; a travelling salesman called home from the States on account
-of family illness, also Bellair were in the boat. He had told Davy
-and his mother that he was going to prepare a place for them; that he
-would be back on the deck of the _Suwarrow_ before nine in the morning.
-Because the little landing party was out of routine, an hour or more
-was required for Bellair to obtain release to the streets. It was now
-midnight.
-
-Three months away, and there had been no word from the woman who had
-remained. In fact, no arrangement for writing had been agreed upon,
-except in case New York should hold him. He had never seen the writing
-of the Faraway Woman.... He believed with profound conviction that
-within an hour’s ride by trolley from the place in the street where
-he moved so hastily now, there was a bluff, a stone cottage, a woman
-waiting for him, and a child near her; that all was well with the two
-and the place. Yet he lived and moved now in a wearing, driving terror.
-All his large and little moments of the past three months passed before
-him like dancers on a flash-lit stage, some beautiful, some false and
-ugly, but each calling his eyes, something of his own upon them.
-
-The world had shown him well that man is not ready for joy when he
-fears, yet Bellair was afraid. Man deserves that which he complains of.
-Still, he was afraid. He was exultant, too. Cities might change and
-nations and laws, but not that woman’s heart. He did not believe she
-could love him, but he knew of her fondness hoped for that again. She
-was in a safe place--as any place in the world is safe. She was well,
-with a health he had never known in another, and the child was flesh
-of her. Yet he feared, his heart too full to speak. He did not deserve
-her, but he hoped for the miracle, hoped that the driving laws of the
-human heart might be merciful, hoped for her fondness again.
-
-He would stand before her at his worst--all weakness and commonness
-of the man, Bellair, open before her. Perhaps she would see his love
-because of that, but he would not be able to tell her. Never could he
-ask for her. If it were made known, it would not be through words. It
-could only come from him in a kind of delirium. _He_ must be carried
-away, a passion must take him out of self. Very far he seemed from
-passion; rather this was like a child in his heart, with gifts, deep
-and changeless, but inarticulate, as a child is. It had been long in
-coming, quietly fulfilling itself, and this was the rising.
-
-... The last car was gone, but he found a carriage--an open carriage, a
-slow horse, a cool and starry night. The city was growing silent, the
-edges darkened. There were high trees, a homing touch about them after
-the sea, and a glimpse of the harbour to the left. Bellair had not even
-a bag with him. He would take off his hat for a way, and then put it
-on again. Sometimes he would let his ungloved hand hang overside, as
-one would do in a small boat. There was a leathery smell from the seat
-of the carriage, with a bit of stable flavour, that would get into a
-man’s clothes if he stayed long enough. It was dusty, too, something
-like a tight room full of old leather-bound books.
-
-The horse plumped along, a little lurch forward at every fourth beat.
-Hunched and wrapped, the driver sat, and extraordinarily still--a man
-used to sitting, who gave himself utterly to it, a most spineless and
-sunken manner. Every little while he coughed, and every little while
-he spat.... Once they passed a motor-car--two men and a girl laughing
-between them; then the interurban trolley going back--the car he had
-missed. His heart thumped. It was the same car that he had known, the
-same tracks, no upheaval of the earth here so far.
-
-Meanwhile, Bellair was rounding the Horn in the _Jade_; they struck
-rock or derelict, were lost for ages in an open boat; they came to
-Auckland and found a little stone house on the bluff, paused there....
-
-He was away at sea again, from Auckland to ’Frisco, across the States,
-to _Brandt’s_, to _Pastern’s_, to Lot & Company’s and the tenements,
-to the _Castle_ and the Landlady’s House; then trains and the long
-southern sweep of the _Suwarrow_, down the great sea again to this
-... plumping along on the high, rocky shore. The brine came up to him,
-almost as from the open boat. His eyes smarted, his throat was dry, and
-the driver coughed.
-
-Bellair had paper money in his hand. He meant to look at it under the
-carriage-light, when he stepped forth near the Gate. He leaned forward
-and touched the great coat.
-
-“_Whoa_,” said the man, loud enough to rouse the seven sleepers, and
-the horse came up with a teeter.
-
-“Don’t stop,” said Bellair. “It’s a little ahead yet. I’ll tell you
-when to stop.... Yes, let him walk----”
-
-Now, Bellair surveyed what he had said. He was like that, just about as
-coherent as that. The _whoa_ had shaken him empty for the most part....
-He would not know what to say to her. He would sit or stand like a fool
-and grin.... But she was great-hearted. She would help him.... Awe and
-silence crept into him again.
-
-“Now, pull up----”
-
-“_Whoa_,” was the answer, shaking the trees.
-
-“There, that will do,” Bellair said tensely. He stepped out and passed
-over the money, forgetting to look at it. He was afraid the man would
-roar again.
-
-It was nearer than he thought, but a step to the Gate; its latch lifted
-softly and he crossed the gravel, held by the voice of the rig turning
-behind. It turned slowly as a ship in a small berth, and the voice
-carried like the cackle of geese.... There was no light. He was on the
-step. Something sweet was growing at the door.... Something brushed
-him at his feet. He leaned down in the darkness, and touched the
-tabby-puss, knocked softly.
-
-“Yes----” came from within.
-
-“It is I, Bellair----”
-
-The door was opened to absolute blackness. She was not in his arms.
-Rather he was in her arms. She seemed to tower above him. Around was
-the softness and fragrance of her arms and her breast.... Not the
-cottage--her arms made the home of man. She held him from her, left him
-standing bewildered in the centre of the room. He heard her match, and
-her voice like a sigh, trailing to him almost like a spirit-thing:
-
-“Oh,--I--am--so--happy!”
-
-The lamp was lit, but she left it in the alcove, came to him again, a
-shawl about her. Lights were playing upon his shut eye-lids, fulfilment
-in his arms that a man can only know when he has crossed the world to a
-woman, not a maiden; a plenitude that a maiden cannot give.
-
-And now she brought the light, and looked into his face--her own
-gleaming behind it, full of rapture, the face of a love-woman, some
-inspired training of the centuries upon it, all the mystery and
-delicacy for a man’s eyes that he can endure and live....
-
-“What is it?”
-
-He could only look at her.
-
-“What is it?” more softly.
-
-As if the thing had been left over in his mind, and required clearing
-away, he answered:
-
-“Are--are the rooms rented?”
-
-She laughed, came closer than the light.
-
-“We are alone--only the child. I could not let any one come--the rooms
-seemed yours.... I thought you would come. It was time enough to change
-when I heard from you----”
-
-“The little Gleam----”
-
-“Yes, he is here.... Oh, did you know what it meant to us--when you
-went away?”
-
-“I knew what it meant to me----”
-
-“After the open boat and the days together here--you knew all?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“I thought it would be easier.... And you are changed! You are like a
-man who has found his Quest.”
-
-She was about him like magic. They were moving toward the little room.
-She stopped and put the lamp back in the alcove.
-
-“We will not take it in there. It would wake him.”
-
-... It was dark upon the threshold. She took his hand. He heard her
-heart beating, or was it his own?... They heard the little breathing.
-She guided his hand to the warm little hand.
-
-“Yes, he is well,” she whispered. “Everything is perfect with your
-coming.... There.... You hurried home to me, didn’t you?... Yes, I
-hoped. I felt the ship. I could not sleep. I wondered if I could be
-wrong.... Oh, to think of the dawn coming in--finding us here together
-... and the little Gleam....”
-
- * * * * *
-
-Gray light was coming in. Her face was shadowed, but the gray was
-faint about her hair. His heart had taken something perfect from her;
-something of the nature of that peace which had come to him at the
-_Jade’s_ rail crossing the Line, but greater than that, the fulfilment
-of that. Because it was perfect, it could not last in its fulness.
-That was the coolness of the Hills, but his love was glowing now like
-noon sunlight in a valley, the redolence of high sunlight in the river
-lowlands. Mother Earth had taken them again.
-
-It was the tide of life; it was as she had told him it must be with
-her, akin to the loveliest processes of nature, like the gilding of a
-tea-rose, like the flight of swans. He watched her as the dawn rose, as
-a woman is only to be seen in her own room; watched her without words,
-until from the concentration, that which had been bound floated free
-within him.... A sentence she had spoken (it may have been an hour, or
-a moment ago) returned to his consciousness. “Oh, how I wanted you to
-come home to-night!”
-
-His mind was full of pictures and power. It may have been the
-strangeness of the light, but his eyes could not hold her face, nor
-his mind remember the face that had welcomed him in the lamplight.
-Different faces moved before his eyes, a deep likeness in the plan of
-them, as pearls would be sorted and matched for one string, a wonderful
-sisterhood of faces, tenderness, fortitude, ardour, joy, renunciation.
-It was like a stroke. He had loved them all--facets of one jewel. And
-was the jewel her soul?
-
-He arose, without turning from her, and moved to the far corner of the
-room, where there was neither chair nor table. As he moved, he watched
-her with tireless thirsting eyes.
-
-She arose and came to him, moving low.... This figure that came,
-thrilled him again with the old magic of the river-banks. He could not
-pass the wonder of her crossing the room to follow him.... And now he
-saw her lips in the light--a girl’s shyness about her lips. She was a
-girl that instant--as if a veil had dropped behind her. It had never
-been so before--a woman always, wise and finished with years, compared
-to whom that other was a child. And yet she was little older than
-that other--in years. He loved the shyness of her lips. It was like
-one familiar bloom in the midst of exotic wonders. It seemed he would
-fall--before she touched him.
-
-She was low in his arms, as if her knees were bent, as if she would
-make herself less for her lord.... And something in that, even as he
-held her, opened the long low roads of the past--glimpses from that
-surging mystery behind us all--as if they had sinned and expiated and
-aspired together.
-
-“... That you would come to me----” he whispered.
-
-“I have wanted to come to you so long.”
-
-“I thought--I could not tell you--I thought I would stand helpless
-without words before you. Why, everything I thought was wrong. I can
-tell you--but there is no need----”
-
-“There is little need of words between us.”
-
-... That which she wore upon her feet was heel-less, and all the cries
-and calls and warnings and distances of the world were gone from
-between them, as they stood together.... And once her arms left him and
-were upheld, as if to receive a perfect gift. A woman could command
-heaven with that gesture.
-
- * * * * *
-
-They had reached the end of the forest, and found the dawn. The sounds
-of the world came back to them like an enchanter’s drone.
-
-“Come,” she said, taking his hand, “it is day. We must return to the
-village. And oh, to our little Gleam! He is awakening. He will speak
-your name.”
-
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-BY WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT
-
-
-_A Brief Expression of the Critical Reception of_
-
-DOWN AMONG MEN
-
-
-_Outlook_: Possessed of a marvelous descriptive genius, equipped with
-a remarkably flexible use of English and impelled by the passion of a
-mystic--the author of _Down Among Men_ has written a striking novel.
-
-_The Dial_: Seems to us the most exalted and appealing story Mr.
-Comfort has thus far written.
-
-_The Argonaut_: A novel of extraordinary power. It is good as
-_Routledge Rides Alone_. It could hardly be better.
-
-_London Post_: Alive with incident, bounding with physical energy,
-dramatic in coloring, and modern in every phrase. He has a message
-delivered with vigor, inspired with tense passion.
-
-_Atlantic Monthly_: There is so much real fire in it--the fire of youth
-that has seen and suffered--so much vitality and passion that one grows
-chary of petty comments. The writer offers us the cup of life, and
-there is blood in the cup.
-
-_Chicago Record-Herald_: An almost perfect tale of courage and
-adventure.
-
-_Chicago Tribune_: Contains some of the most remarkable scenes that
-have appeared in recent American fiction.
-
-_New York Times_: Few richer novels than this of Mr. Comfort’s have
-been published in many a long day.
-
-_New York Globe_: We can say in all sincerity that we know of no
-recent bit of descriptive writing that can match this for sustained,
-breathless, dramatic interest.
-
-_Springfield Republican_: _Down Among Men_ is perhaps the most
-ambitious American novel that has come out during the past year.
-
- _12mo., Net $1.25._
-
-
-
-
-MIDSTREAM
-
-... A hint from the first-year’s recognition of a book that was made to
-remain in American literature:
-
-_Boston Transcript_: If it be extravagance, let it be so, to say
-that Comfort’s account of his childhood has seldom been rivaled in
-literature. It amounts to revelation. Really the only parallels that
-will suggest themselves in our letters are the great ones that occur
-in _Huckleberry Finn_.... This man Comfort’s gamut is long and he has
-raced its full length. One wonders whether the interest, the skill, the
-general worth of it, the things it has to report of all life, as well
-as the one life, do not entitle _Midstream_ to the very long life that
-is enjoyed only by the very best of books.
-
-_San Francisco Argonaut_: Read the book. It is autobiography in its
-perfection. It shows more of the realities of the human being, more of
-god and devil in conflict, than any book of its kind.
-
-_Springfield Republican_: It is difficult to think of any other young
-American who has so courageously reversed the process of writing for
-the “market” and so flatly insisted upon being taken, if at all, on
-his own terms of life and art. And now comes his frank and amazing
-revelation, _Midstream_, in which he captures and carries the reader on
-to a story of regeneration. He has come far; the question is, how much
-farther will he go?
-
-Mary Fanton Roberts in _The Craftsman_: Beside the stature of this
-book, the ordinary novel and biography are curiously dwarfed. You
-read it with a poignant interest and close it with wonder, reverence
-and gratitude. There is something strangely touching about words so
-candid, and a draught of philosophy that has been pressed from such
-wild and bitter-sweet fruit. The message it contains is one to sink
-deep, penetrating and enriching whatever receptive soul it touches.
-This man’s words are incandescent. Many of us feel that he is breathing
-into a language, grown trite from hackneyed usage, the inspiration of a
-quickened life.
-
-Ida Gilbert Myers in _Washington Star_: Courage backs this revelation.
-The gift of self-searching animates it. Honesty sustains it. And Mr.
-Comfort’s rare power to seize and deliver his vision inspires it. It
-is a tremendous thing--the greatest thing that this writer has yet done.
-
-George Soule in _The Little Review_: Here is a man’s life laid
-absolutely bare. A direct, big thing, so simple that almost no one
-has done it before--this Mr. Comfort has dared. People who are made
-uncomfortable by intimate grasp of anything, to whom reserve is more
-important than truth--these will not read _Midstream_ through, but
-others will emerge from the book with a sense of the absolute nobility
-of Mr. Comfort’s frankness.
-
-Edwin Markham in _Hearst’s Magazine_: Will Levington Comfort, a
-novelist of distinction, has given us a book alive with human interest,
-with passionate sincerity, and with all the power of his despotism over
-words. He has been a wandering foot--familiar with many strands; he
-has known shame and sorrow and striving; he has won to serene heights.
-He tells it all without vaunt, relating his experience to the large
-meanings of life for all men, to the mystic currents behind life, out
-of which we come, to whose great deep we return.
-
- _12mo., Net, $1.25_
-
-
-
-
-RED FLEECE
-
-_Springfield Republican_: The first genuine war novel.
-
-_Outlook_: The first novel of any real consequence dealing with the
-great war.
-
-_San Francisco Argonaut_: An extraordinary book. The reader of
-Comfort’s book is carried away on a storm of emotion.
-
-_New York Tribune_: Decidedly the first notable novel of the great war
-is Will Levington Comfort’s _Red Fleece_. Comfort sees in the moujik’s
-dreamy soul the seed of a spiritual regeneration of the world.
-
-_The Dial_: As a stylist, Mr. Comfort has never done better work. “His
-clothing smelled of death; and one morning before the smoke fell, he
-watched the sun shining upon the smoke-clad hills. That moment the
-thought held him that the pine-trees were immortal, and men just the
-dung of the earth.” It is not given to many men to write such English
-as that.
-
-_Boston Transcript_: This is a story written in wireless. It leaves a
-lightning impression.
-
-_New York Times_: This novel has one most unusual fault. It is not long
-enough.
-
-_Churchman_, New York: By far the most interesting and thoughtful book
-of fiction springing from the great war.
-
- _12mo., Net, $1.25_
-
-
-
-
-TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:
-
-On page 123, side-ways has been changed to sideways.
-
-On page 130, banknotes has been changed to bank-notes.
-
-On page 310, waterfront has been changed to water-front.
-
-On page 336, eyelids has been changed to eye-lids.
-
-The name "Fomalhaut" was spelled multiple ways in this book; all have
-been regularized to "Fomalhaut" (a star in the Southern Hemisphere.)
-
-All other spelling, hyphenation and dialect has been retained as
-typeset.
-
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-<body>
-<p style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Lot &amp; company, by Will Levington Comfort</p>
-<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
-at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you
-are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the
-country where you are located before using this eBook.
-</div>
-
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Lot &amp; company</p>
-<p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Will Levington Comfort</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: September 24, 2022 [eBook #69038]</p>
-<p style='display:block; text-indent:0; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</p>
- <p style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em; text-align:left'>Produced by: D A Alexander and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by University of California libraries)</p>
-<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOT &AMP; COMPANY ***</div>
-
-<div class="figcenter hide" style="width: 35%">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="Cover" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph1">LOT &amp; COMPANY</p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="adblock2"><div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph3">BY WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT</p></div>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="center no-indent"><span class="smcap">Lot &amp; Company</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">Red Fleece</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">Midstream</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">Down Among Men</span><br />
-<span class="smcap">Fatherland</span></p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="center no-indent">GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY<br />
-NEW YORK</p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<h1><i>Lot &amp; Company</i></h1></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">BY</p>
-
-<p class="ph2">WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent p4b">
-AUTHOR OF “RED FLEECE,” “MIDSTREAM,” “DOWN AMONG<br />
-MEN,” “ROUTLEDGE RIDES ALONE,”<br />
-ETC., ETC.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;">
-<img src="images/i_title.jpg" width="150" alt="Publishers Logo"
-title="" /></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent p4">NEW YORK</p>
-
-<p class="ph2">GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center no-indent">Copyright, 1915,<br />
-<span class="smcap">By George H. Doran Company</span></p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="center no-indent">TO<br />
-JANE</p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph2 nobreak">CONTENTS</p></div>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" summary="CONTENTS">
-
-<tr><td colspan="2">&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdc"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART ONE</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Jade</span>: I</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART TWO</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Lot &amp; Company</span>: I</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_19">21</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART THREE</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Jade</span>: II</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_65">67</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART FOUR</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Open Boat</span></td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_105">107</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART FIVE</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Stone House</span>: I</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_195">197</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART SIX</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">Lot &amp; Company</span>: II</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_239">241</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="3">PART SEVEN</td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="tdl"><span class="smcap">The Stone House</span>: II</td>
-<td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="tdr"><a href="#PART_SEVEN_THE_STONE_HOUSE_II">321</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_ONE">PART ONE<br />
-THE JADE: I</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">A</span>ll</span> would have happened differently for
-Bellair had he been drowsy as usual
-on this particular Sunday afternoon.
-The boarding-house was preparing for
-its nap; indeed already half enveloped, but there
-came to Bellair’s nostrils a smell of carpets that
-brought back his first passage up stairs five years
-before. The halls were filled with greys&mdash;dull
-tones that drove him forth at last. It was November,
-and the day didn’t know what to do
-next. Gusts of seasonable wind, wisps of sunshine,
-threats of rain, and everywhere Bellair’s
-old enemy&mdash;the terrifying Sabbath calm, without
-which the naked granite soul of New York
-would remain decently hid. Sundays had tortured
-him from the beginning. It was not so
-bad when the garment was on&mdash;the weave of
-millions.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p>
-
-<p>He walked east with an umbrella, thinking
-more than observing, crossed to Brooklyn and
-followed the water-front as closely as the complication
-of ferries, pier-systems and general shipping
-would permit. Finally he came to a wooden
-arch, marked Hatmos &amp; Company, the gate of
-which was open. Entering, he heard the water
-slapping the piles beneath, his eyes held in fascination
-to an activity ahead. In the wonder of
-a dream, he realised that this was a sailing-ship
-putting forth. On her black stern, he read</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent"><i>Jade of Adelaide</i></p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">printed in blue of worn pigment.</p>
-
-<p>A barkentine, her clipper-built hull of steel,
-her lines satisfying like the return of a friend
-after years. Along the water-line shone the bright
-edge of her copper sheathing; then a soft black
-line smooth as modelled clay where she muscled
-out for sea-worth, and covered her displacement
-in the daring beauty of contour. Still above was
-the shining brass of her row of ports on a ground
-of weathered grey, and the dull red of her rail.
-Over all, and that which quickened the ardour of
-Bellair’s soul, was the mystery of her wire rigging
-and folded cloths against the smoky horizon,
-exquisite as the frame of a butterfly to his fancy.</p>
-
-<p>His emotion is not to be explained; nor another
-high moment of his life which had to do with a
-flashing merchantman seen from the water-front
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span>at San Francisco&mdash;square-rigged throughout, a
-cloud of sail-cloth, her royals yet to be lifted, as
-she got underweigh. He knew that considerable
-canvas was still spread between California,
-Australia and the Islands, but what a well-kept
-if ancient maiden of the <i>Jade’s</i> species was doing
-here in New York harbour, A. D. Nineteen hundred
-and odd, was not disclosed to Bellair until
-afterward, and not clearly then.</p>
-
-<p>He knew her for a barkentine, and in the intensely
-personal appeal of the moment he was a
-bit sorry for the blend. To his eyes the schooner-rig
-of mizzen and main masts was not to be
-compared for beauty to the trisected fore. Still
-he reflected that square-rigged throughout, she
-would be crowded with crew to care for her, and
-that her concession to trade was at least not outright.
-Schooner, bark and brig&mdash;he seemed to
-know them first hand, not only from pictures and
-pages of print, though there had been many long
-evenings of half-dream with books before him&mdash;books
-that always pushed back impatiently
-through the years of upstart Steam into Nature’s
-own navigation, where Romance has put on her
-brave true form in the long perspective. Ships
-that really <i>sailed</i> were one of Bellair’s passions,
-like orchards and vined stone-work&mdash;all far from
-him apparently and out of the question&mdash;loved
-the more because of it.... He watched with
-rapt eyes now, estimated the <i>Jade’s</i> length at
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span>one-seventy-five and was debating her tonnage
-when a huge ox of a man appeared from the
-cabin (while the <i>Jade</i> slid farther out), waddled
-aft as if bare-footed, spoke to an officer
-there, and then held up two brown hairy, thick-fingered
-hands, palms extended to the pier&mdash;as if
-to push Brooklyn from him forever.... The
-officer’s voice just reached shore, but not his
-words. A Japanese woman appeared on the
-receding deck.</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Jade of Adelaide</i>,” muttered Bellair, moments
-afterward.</p>
-
-<p>A tug was towing her straight toward Staten.
-He thought of her lying off the glistening white
-beach of a coral island two months hence, surrounded
-by native craft, all hands helping the
-big man get ashore.... At this moment a young
-man emerged from the harbour-front door of the
-Hatmos office, locking it after him. Bellair came
-up from his dream. Such realities of the city man
-are mainly secret. It was the worn surface that
-Bellair presented to the stranger, a sophisticated
-and imperturbable surface, and one employed so
-often that its novelty was gone.</p>
-
-<p>“Where’s she going?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Who?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair smiled at the facetiousness.</p>
-
-<p>“The <i>Jade</i>,” he said gently.</p>
-
-<p>“Just as far from here as she can get.”</p>
-
-<p>“Round the world?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I doubt if she’ll come back.”</p>
-
-<p>“You don’t see many of them any more&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” replied the other agreeably enough, “this
-old dame and two or three sisters are about all
-that call here. Hatmos &amp; Co. get ’em all.”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you have a little drink?” Bellair inquired.
-“That is, if you know a place around
-here. I’m from across.”</p>
-
-<p>The other was not unwilling. They walked
-up the pier together. A place was found.</p>
-
-<p>“Does the <i>Jade</i> belong to the Hatmos people?”
-Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“No. We’re agents for Stackhouse. By the
-way, he’s aboard the <i>Jade</i>&mdash;just left the office a
-half hour ago. The Hatmos son and heir went
-home in a cab, like his father used to, when
-Stackhouse blew in from the South Seas&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“The big man who stood aft as the ship
-cleared?” Bellair suggested.</p>
-
-<p>“Hairy neck&mdash;clothes look like pajamas?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“That must have been Stackhouse. He’s the
-biggest man in Peloponasia&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wondered if he meant Polynesia. “You
-mean in size?”</p>
-
-<p>“Possibly that, but I meant&mdash;interests. Owns
-whole islands and steam-fleets, but hates steam.
-Does his pleasure riding under canvas. Comes
-up to New York every third year with a new
-Japanese wife. Used to spend his time drinking
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span>with old Hatmos&mdash;now he’s trying to kill off
-the younger generation. Lives at the <i>Florimel</i>
-while in New York, and teaches the dago barboys
-how to make tropical drinks. If he had
-stayed longer, he would have got to me. Young
-Hatmos is about finished.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair breathed deeply, strangely alive.
-“Where does the <i>Jade</i> call first after leaving
-here?”</p>
-
-<p>“Savannah&mdash;then one or two South American
-ports&mdash;then around the Horn and the long up-beat
-to the Islands.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, that might mean four months.” Bellair
-spoke with a touch of wistfulness.</p>
-
-<p>They emerged to the street at length, and the
-New Yorker started shyly back to the pier. The
-Hatmos man laughed.</p>
-
-<p>“You fall for the sailing-stuff, don’t you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, it’s got me. Do they take passengers?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sure, if you’re in no hurry. Here and there,
-some one like you&mdash;just for the voyage. Two
-or three on board from here.... One a preacher.
-He’d better look out. Stackhouse hates to drink
-alone.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thanks. Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p>The <i>Jade</i>, far and very little among the liners,
-had turned south to the Narrows and was spreading
-her wings.... The world began to shut
-Bellair in, as he crossed the river again. Sunday
-night supper at the boarding-house was always a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span>dismal affair; by every manner and means it was
-so to-night. The chorus woman of the Hippodrome
-was bolting ahead of the bell, to hurry
-away to rehearsal. Nightly she came up out
-of the water.... He tried three sea-books that
-night&mdash;“Lady Letty,” “Lord Jim” and “The
-Phantom,” but couldn’t get caught in their old
-spell. A new and personal dimension was upon
-him from the afternoon. He fell to dreaming
-again and again of the <i>Jade</i>&mdash;the last misty
-glimpse of her at the Narrows, and the huge
-brown hands pushing Brooklyn away....
-There is pathos in the city man’s love and need
-for fresh air. Bellair pulled his bed to the window
-at last, surveying the room without regard.
-Long afterward he dreamed that he was out on
-the heaving floor of the sea, and that a man-monster
-came down from the deck in pajamas, and
-pressing his hands against the walls of the cabin,
-made respiration next to impossible for the inmate.
-There was a key to this suffocation, for
-the air in his room was still as a pool. A lull
-had fallen upon the city before a gusty storm of
-wind and rain.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 18-21]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_TWO_LOT_COMPANY_I">PART TWO<br />
-LOT &amp; COMPANY: I</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">B</span>ellair</span> regarded himself as an average
-man; and after all perhaps this was the
-most significant thing about him. He
-was not average to look at&mdash;the face
-of a student and profoundly kind&mdash;and yet, he
-had moved in binding routine for five years
-that they knew of at Lot &amp; Company’s. His
-acquaintances were of the average type. He did
-not criticise them; you would not have known that
-he saw them with something of the same sorrow
-that he regarded himself.</p>
-
-<p>Back of this five years was an Unknowable.
-Had you possessed exactly the perception you
-might have caught a glimpse of some extraordinary
-culture that comes from life in the older lands, and
-personal contacts with deeper evils&mdash;the culture
-of the great drifters, the inimitable polish of rolling
-stones. As a usual thing he would not have
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span>shown you any of this. At Lot &amp; Company’s
-offices, men had moved and talked and lunched
-near and with him for years without uncovering
-a gleam of a certain superb equipment for life
-which really existed in a darkened room of his
-being.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps he was still in preparation. We have
-not really completed the circle of any accomplishment
-until we have put it in action. Certainly
-Bellair had not done that, since the Unknowable
-ended. He had made no great friends among men
-or women; though almost thirty, he had met no
-stirring love affair, at least in this period. He
-had done the most common duties of trade, for
-a common reward in cash; lived in a common
-house&mdash;moved in crowds of common men and
-affairs. It was as if he were a spy, trained from
-a child, but commanded at the very beginning
-of his manhood, not only to toil and serve in
-an insignificant post&mdash;but to be insignificant as
-well. It was by accident, for instance, that they
-discovered at Lot &amp; Company’s that Bellair was
-schooled in the Sanscrit.</p>
-
-<p>Before usual he was astir that Monday morning,
-but late at the office for all that. A drop
-of consciousness somewhere between shoe-buttons,
-and a similar trance between collar and tie. In
-these lapses a half hour was lost, and queerly
-enough afterward the old purports of his life
-did not hold together as before. A new breath
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span>from somewhere, a difference in vitality, and the
-hum-drum, worn-sore consciousness given to his
-work with Lot &amp; Company, had become like an
-obscene relative, to be rid of, even at the price
-of dollars and the established order of things.
-It had been very clear as he drank his coffee that
-he must give quit-notice at the office, yet when
-he reached there, this was not so easy, and he
-was presently at work as usual in his cage with
-Mr. Sproxley, the cashier.</p>
-
-<p>The Quaker firm of Lot &amp; Company was essentially
-a printing establishment. During the first
-half of the period in which Bellair had been connected,
-though he was not stupider than usual, he
-had not realised the crooked weave of the entire
-inner fabric of the house. Lot &amp; Company had
-been established for seventy-five years and through
-three generations. Its conduct was ordered now
-like a process of nature, a systematised tone to
-each surface manner and expression. All the departments
-were strained and deformed to meet
-and adjust in the larger current of profit which the
-cashier had somehow bridged without scandal for
-twenty-seven years. Personally, so far as Bellair
-knew, Mr. Sproxley was an honest man, though
-not exactly of the manner, and underpaid.</p>
-
-<p>The cashier’s eyes were black, a black that
-would burn you, and unquestionably furtive, although
-Bellair sat for two years at a little distance
-from the cashier’s desk before he accepted
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span>the furtiveness, so deeply laid and set and hardened
-were his first impressions. They were
-hard eyes as well, like that anthracite which
-retains its gleaming black edge, though the side to
-the draft is red to the core.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Sproxley’s home was in Brooklyn, an
-hour’s ride from the office&mdash;a little flat in a street
-of little flats, all with the same porches, brickwork
-and rusty numerals. An apartment for two,
-and yet Mr. and Mrs. Sproxley had not moved,
-though five black-eyed children had come to them.
-The cashier of Lot &amp; Company was a stationary
-man&mdash;that was his first asset.... A hundred
-times Bellair had heard the old formula, delivered
-by firm members to some caller at the office:</p>
-
-<p>“This is our cashier, Mr. Sproxley. He has
-been with us twenty-seven years. We have found
-him the soul of honour”&mdash;the last trailing off into
-a whisper&mdash;a hundred times in almost the same
-words, for the Lots and the Wetherbees bred true.
-The visitor would be drawn off and confidently
-informed that Mr. Sproxley would die rather than
-leave a penny unaccounted; indeed, that his zeal
-on the small as well as large affairs was frequently
-a disturbance to the office generally, since everything
-stopped until the balance swung free. Bellair
-knew of this confidential supplement to the
-main form, because he had taken it into his own
-pores on an early day of his employment. The
-lift of that first talk (in Bellair’s case it was from
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span>the elder Wetherbee, an occasional Thee and
-Thou escaping with unworldly felicity) was for
-Bellair sometime to attain a similar rock-bound
-austerity of honour.... Always the stranger
-glanced a second time at Mr. Sproxley during the
-firm-member’s low-voiced affirmation of his passionate
-integrity.</p>
-
-<p>Passing to the second floor, the visitor would
-meet Mr. Hardburg, head of the manuscript and
-periodical department, for Lot &amp; Company had
-found a good business in publishing books of story
-and poetry at the author’s expense. Here eye
-and judgment reigned, Mr. Hardburg’s, on all
-matters of book-dress and criticism; yet within
-six or seven minutes, the formula would break
-through for the attention of the caller, thus:</p>
-
-<p>“Lot &amp; Company is a conservative House&mdash;that’s
-why it stands&mdash;a House, sir (one felt the
-Capital), that has stood for seventy-five years
-on a basis of honour and fair dealing, if on a conservative
-basis. Lot &amp; Company stands by its
-agents and employés first and last. Lot &amp; Company
-does not plunge, but over any given period
-of time, its progress is apparent and its policy
-significantly successful.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Hardburg’s eyes kindled as he spoke&mdash;grey
-tired eyes, not at all like Mr. Sproxley’s&mdash;but the
-light waned, and Mr. Hardburg quickly relapsed
-into ennui and complaint, for he was a living
-sick man. The impression one drew from his
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span>earlier years, was that he had overstrained as an
-athlete, and been a bit loose and undone ever
-since.... Now Mr. Hardburg would be called
-away for a moment, leaving the stranger in the
-office with Miss Rinderley, his assistant. With
-fluent and well directed sentences, this lady would
-outline the triumphs of Mr. Hardburg from college
-to the mastery of criticism which he was now
-granted professionally.</p>
-
-<p>“But what we love best about him,” Miss
-Rinderley would say, glancing at the enlarged
-photograph above his desk, “is the tireless way
-he helps young men. Always he is at that. I
-have seen him talk here for an hour&mdash;when the
-most pressing matters of criticism and editorial
-responsibility called&mdash;literally giving himself to
-some one needing help. Very likely he would
-miss his train for the country. Poor Mr. Hardburg,
-he needs his rest so&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The caller would cry in his heart, “What a
-superb old institution this is!” and cover his own
-weaknesses and shortcomings in a further sheath
-of mannerism and appreciation&mdash;the entire atmosphere
-strangely prevailing to help one to stifle
-rather than to ventilate his real points of view.</p>
-
-<p>So the establishment moved. The groups of
-girls going up and down the back stairs&mdash;to count
-or tie or paste through all their interesting days&mdash;counted
-the heads of their respective departments
-as their greatest men; spoke of them in awed
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span>whispers, in certain cases with maternal affection,
-and on occasion even with playful intimacy on
-the part of a few&mdash;but always as a master-workman,
-the best man in the business, who expressed
-the poorest part of himself in words, and
-had to be lived with for years adequately to be
-appreciated and understood.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan Lot, the present head of the firm,
-was a dreamer. It was Mr. Sproxley who had
-first told Bellair this, but he heard it frequently
-afterward, came to recognise it as the accepted
-initial saying as regarded the Head, just as his
-impeccable honour was Mr. Sproxley’s and unerring
-critical instinct Mr. Hardburg’s titular
-association. Mr. Nathan was the least quarrelsome
-man anywhere, the quietest and the gentlest&mdash;a
-small bloodless man of fifty, aloof from business;
-a man who had worn and tested himself so
-little that you would imagine him destined to live
-as long again, except for the lugubrious atmospheres
-around his desk, in the morning especially,
-the sense of imperfect ventilation, though the partitions
-were but half-high to the lower floor and
-there was a thousand feet to draw from. The
-same was beginning in Jabez, the son, something
-pent, non-assimilation somewhere. However
-Jabez wasn’t a dreamer; at least, dreaming had
-not become his identifying proclivity. He was
-a head taller than his father with a wide limp
-mouth and small expressionless brown eyes&mdash;twenty-seven,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span>
-and almost as many times a millionaire.</p>
-
-<p>Jabez was richer than his father, who was the
-direct heir of the House of Lot, but his father’s
-dreaming had complicated the flow of another
-huge fortune in the familiar domestic fashion&mdash;Jabez
-being the symbol and centre of the combination;
-also the future head of the House of
-Lot and Company&mdash;up and down town.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wondered a long time what the pervading
-dream of the father was. He had been
-in the office many months, had never heard the
-senior-mind give vent to authoritative saying in
-finance, literature, science or prints; and while this
-did not lower his estimate at all&mdash;he was sincerely
-eager to get at the sleeping force of this
-giant. Mr. Sproxley spoke long on the subject,
-but did not know. Mr. Hardburg said:</p>
-
-<p>“I have been associated with Mr. Nathan for
-eleven years now. The appeal of his worth is
-not eager and insinuating, but I have this to say&mdash;that
-in eleven years I have found myself slipping,
-slipping into a mysterious, <i>a different</i> regard,
-a profounder friendliness&mdash;if one might put
-it that way&mdash;for Mr. Nathan, than any I have
-known in my whole career. The fact is I love
-Mr. Nathan. He is one of the sweetest spirits
-I ever knew.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was interested in dreamers; had a theory
-that dreaming was important. When he heard
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span>that a certain child was inclined to dreaming, he
-was apt to promise a significant future off-hand.
-He reflected that even Mr. Hardburg had forgotten
-to tell him of the tendency in Mr. Nathan’s
-case, but determined not to give up.... Once
-in the lower part of the city, he passed the firm-head&mdash;a
-studious little man making his way along
-at the edge of the walk. Bellair spoke before he
-thought. Mr. Nathan started up in a dazed way,
-appeared to recognise him with difficulty, as if
-there was something in the face that the hat made
-different. He cleared his voice and inquired with
-embarrassment:</p>
-
-<p>“Are you going to the store?”</p>
-
-<p>After Bellair had ceased to regret speaking, he
-reflected upon the word “store.” The president
-of a great manufacturing plant, content to be
-known as a tradesman&mdash;an excellent, a Quaker
-simplicity about that.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s particular friend in the establishment
-was Broadwell of the advertising-desk, a young
-man of his own age who was improving himself
-evenings and who aspired to be a publisher. But
-even closer to his heart was Davy Acton, one of
-the office-boys, who had been tested out and was
-not a liar. A sincere sad-faced lad of fifteen, who
-lived with his mother somewhere away down
-town. He looked up to Bellair as to a man among
-men, one who had achieved. This was hard to
-bear on the man’s part, but he was fond of the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span>youngster and often had him over Sundays, furnishing
-books of his own and recommending
-others. Davy believed in him. This was the
-sensation.</p>
-
-<p>The only voices that were ever raised in the
-establishment were those of the travelling salesmen.
-The chief of this department, Mr. Rawter,
-was loud-voiced in his joviality. That was <i>his</i>
-word&mdash;“Mr. Rawter is so jovial.”</p>
-
-<p>When the roaring joviality of Mr. Rawter
-boomed through the lower floor, old Mr. Wetherbee,
-the vice-president, would look up from his
-desk, and remark quietly to any one who happened
-near, “Mr. Rawter is forced to meet the trade,
-you know.” It was doubtless his gentle Quaker
-conception that wine-lists, back-slapping and
-whole-souled abandonment of to-morrow, were
-essentials of the road and trade affiliation. From
-the rear of the main floor, back among the piles
-of stock, reverberating among great square monuments
-of ledgers and pamphlets were the jovial
-voices of the other salesmen, Mr. Rawter’s seconds,
-the Middle-west man, and the Coast-and-South
-man&mdash;voices slightly muffled, as became
-their station, but regular in joviality, and doubtless
-as boom-compelling afield as their chief’s,
-considering their years.</p>
-
-<p>Otherwise the elder Mr. Wetherbee&mdash;Mr. Seth&mdash;presided
-over a distinguished silence for the
-main. His desk was open to the floor at large.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span>He was seventy, and one of the first to arrive in
-the morning&mdash;a vice-president who opened the
-mail, and had in expert scrutiny such matters as
-employment, salaries, orders and expenses of the
-travelling men on the road. Mr. Seth was not a
-dreamer; at least not on week-days&mdash;a millionaire,
-who gave you the impression that he was
-constantly on his guard lest his heart-quality
-should suddenly ruin all. The love, the very
-ardour of his soul was to <i>give</i> away&mdash;to dissipate
-the fortunes of his own and the firm-members, but
-so successfully had he fought all his life on the
-basis of considering the justice to his family and
-his firm, that Lot &amp; Company now relied upon
-him, undoubting. Thus often a man born
-with weakness develops it into his particular
-strength....</p>
-
-<p>The son, Eben Wetherbee, was harder for Bellair
-to designate. He seemed a different force,
-and called forth secret regard. A religious young
-man, who always occurred to Bellair’s mind as he
-had once seen him, crossing the Square a summer
-evening, a book under his arm, his short steps
-lifted and queerly rounded, as if treading a low-geared
-sprocket; toes straight out&mdash;the whole gait
-mincing a little. Eben was smileless and a great
-worker. He had no more to do or say with his
-father during working hours than any of the
-others.</p>
-
-<p>Such was the firm: Mr. Nathan Lot and his
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span>son Jabez; Mr. Seth Wetherbee and his son Eben,
-and Mr. Rawter who had been given a nominal
-quantity of stock after thirty-five years’ service.
-In due course Mr. Sproxley would qualify for
-this illumination.... And yet not all. Staring
-down from the arch over the president’s door
-was a dour, white, big-chinned face, done in oils
-long ago&mdash;almost yellow-white, the black shoulder
-deadening away into the background; small
-eyes, wide mouth, but firmly hung&mdash;grandfather
-to Mr. Nathan, but no dreamer; great grand-sire
-to Mr. Jabez, but nothing loose-mouthed about
-the face of this, the original Jabez Lot,&mdash;organising
-genius of the House, and its first president,
-spoken of with awe and reverence; the first millionaire
-of the family and builder of its Gramercy
-mansion.... Suddenly, it had come to Bellair
-that this was the spirit of the Store, this picture
-was its symbol, that the slow strangulation
-of the souls of all concerned had begun in that
-white head, the planting of this bed of crooked
-canes.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">One morning when Bellair was well into his third
-year with the printing-firm, the silence was broken
-on the lower floor. He was shaken that day into
-the real secret of the house. A certain Mr.
-Prentidd had been in conversation with Mr.
-Rawter some moments. The jovial voice of
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span>the head-salesman was without significance to
-those near his partition&mdash;a part of the routine.
-Mr. Prentidd had invented a combination
-ledger and voucher-file that was having some
-sale in America, being manufactured and distributed
-by Lot &amp; Company. Mr. Rawter on a
-recent trip abroad had been empowered to dispose
-of the English rights. The result, it now
-appeared, did not prove satisfactory to the inventor.
-The voice of the latter was raised. One
-felt the entire building subside into a quivering
-hush.</p>
-
-<p>“I tell you, sir, I don’t trust you. I have heard
-in fact that the only way you could hurt your
-reputation here in New York or on the road would
-be to tell the truth.”</p>
-
-<p>To Bellair there was something deeply satisfying
-in that remark of the inventor’s&mdash;something
-long awaited and very good. He saw Mr. Seth
-arise, his chin moving in a sickly fashion, a very
-old pathetic Mr. Seth. He realised that Mr.
-Rawter had laughed&mdash;that something had been
-burned from that laugh. Mr. Prentidd was hurried
-forth, and the nullifying system began. Mr.
-Jabez emerged from his father’s office and turning
-to Broadwell at the advertising-desk, said in
-a tone universally penetrative:</p>
-
-<p>“What a pity that Mr. Prentidd drinks. There
-are few men finer to deal with when he is
-himself.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p>
-
-<p>Mr. Seth, in his chair again, sitting frog-like
-and gasping, remarked to Mr. Sproxley across the
-distance: “I really must ask Mr. Prentidd to
-come to us earlier in the day. He’s far too worthy
-a man to disgrace himself in this way.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wondered that the point of Mr. Prentidd’s
-remark seemed entirely lost. As for himself
-he counted it worthy of regard. The episode
-was but begun. The inventor returned immediately,
-just as Mr. Rawter was stepping out.
-The two men met in the main corridor. It appeared
-that Mr. Prentidd repeated a certain question,
-for the head-salesman replied, the roundness
-of the joviality gone from his voice:</p>
-
-<p>“I tell you, Mr. Prentidd, the situation has
-changed. I could not dispose of the English order
-at a better figure to save my soul. I extracted
-every cent for you and for the House.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe you. Other matters of the
-same kind do better. If you speak the truth, you
-made a very bad bargain for yourself and what is
-more important, for me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The least like an inventor imaginable, a most
-physical person, Mr. Prentidd, with a fiery sense
-of his own rights and a manner as soft as his voice
-was penetrating. He turned a leisurely look of
-scorn at Mr. Rawter, half-stare and half-smile,
-then appeared to perceive the elder Mr. Wetherbee
-for the first time. The old man arose. Bellair
-felt the agony of expectancy far back among
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span>the stock-piles. The inventor shot straight at
-the vice-president:</p>
-
-<p>“You’re an old man. I’ll trust your word.
-You’re an old man and a Quaker&mdash;yes, I’ll take
-your word. Your man, Rawter, says he could
-get only seven and one-half cents’ royalty for me
-on my Nubian file from England. I say it’s only
-half what I should get. Is it true&mdash;remember
-you’re old. Is it true?”</p>
-
-<p>Prentidd’s face had power in it, exasperation
-and the remains of a laugh. It appeared that he
-was content to take a gambler’s chance and close
-the ugly business on Mr. Seth’s word.</p>
-
-<p>The old man’s eye roved. He looked sick and
-shaken. He found the eyes of his son Eben which
-were full of terror and pity and hope.</p>
-
-<p>“Answer me. Could Lot &amp; Company get no
-more than fifteen cents altogether on the English
-patents?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Wetherbee’s lips moved. “That’s all
-we could get, Mr. Prentidd. I’m sorry,” he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>For an instant Mr. Prentidd stood there. It
-was evident that he had expected a different
-answer. True to his promise to take the old man’s
-word, however, he turned on his heel and walked
-out.</p>
-
-<p>On the high sloping desk before Bellair’s eyes,
-a big ledger lay open. He had turned during the
-talk to the transaction of Prentidd&mdash;Lot &amp; Company.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span>
-The English disposal had been arranged for
-at twenty-five cents the file, royalty. Apparently
-Mr. Prentidd had agreed upon an even split, but
-Lot &amp; Company had taken seventeen and the
-fraction.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was ill. The nausea crept down through
-his limbs, and up to his throat. The thing had
-worked out before him with such surety and
-clarity. The head of Mr. Sproxley moved about
-as if on a swivel, his body in writing position
-still. Presently he stepped down from his high
-stool, and came to Bellair’s side. Placing his pen
-behind his ear, he lifted the ledger from under
-Bellair’s eyes, his lips compressed with the effort.
-Then he placed it on his own desk to close it
-tenderly, after which it was taken to its niche
-in the vault.</p>
-
-<p>The office was silent. Just now Bellair’s eyes
-turned as if subtly attracted to the place where
-Eben Wetherbee sat. The young man’s smileless
-eyes, almost insane with apprehension and
-sadness, were turned with extraordinary intent
-upon the place where his father sat. Bellair’s
-followed. The old man sat plumped in his chair;
-he gulped, tried to turn. His face looked as if
-he heard a ghost whispering. Yet he seemed unable
-to trust himself, hardly daring to meet the
-eyes that awaited. His hands lifted to the papers
-before him, but did not feel properly. He seemed
-a man of eighty. Mr. Eben came forward at
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span>last and asked Mr. Sproxley if he might look at
-the Prentidd transaction.</p>
-
-<p>“It isn’t posted yet, Mr. Eben,” said the
-cashier.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>At the side door at closing time, Bellair happened
-to pass a party of young women coming
-down from the bindery. One was saying:</p>
-
-<p>“... and Mr. Prentidd was quite helpless
-after the scene&mdash;so that they had to call a taxi-cab
-for him. Isn’t it dreadful he drinks so?”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>There was a personal result for Bellair, which
-he at no time misunderstood.</p>
-
-<p>“We have considered creating a position for
-you next to Mr. Sproxley,” said the elder Mr.
-Wetherbee, the second morning following.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair bowed.</p>
-
-<p>“Since you have been with us less than three
-years, this is very good comment on the character
-of your services and our hope for your future
-with us&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“What additional salary goes with the position?”
-Bellair had asked.</p>
-
-<p>“If I followed my own inclination, it would
-be considerable. I have been able to secure for
-you, however, but a slight increase&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>This was one of Mr. Seth’s little ways. He
-added hopes of fine quality. There was a further
-point:</p>
-
-<p>“You will at times handle considerable money
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span>and we must insist upon your putting in trust for
-us the sum of two thousand dollars.”</p>
-
-<p>“I haven’t two thousand dollars, Mr. Wetherbee,”
-Bellair said.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, we trust you. It is a form&mdash;a
-form, nevertheless, upon which a valuable relation
-of this kind should be placed on a business
-basis.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“But you have friends&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Not with two thousand dollars’ surety for me&mdash;no
-friend like that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Banks insist upon this&mdash;among those employés
-who handle much money&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I know&mdash;but that amount cannot be arranged.”</p>
-
-<p>“How much can you put in trust available
-to Lot &amp; Company in event of your departure&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I have slightly less than one thousand
-dollars&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Could you raise one thousand dollars?”</p>
-
-<p>“With some effort.”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, it will draw interest for you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I understand these affairs.”</p>
-
-<p>The matter was referred to the next day when
-it was decided to accept Bellair’s amount of one
-thousand dollars, which Lot &amp; Company could
-not touch without his consent, except in the event
-of his departure with company funds; and which
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span>Bellair could not draw without written statement
-from Lot &amp; Company to the effect that he
-was leaving with a balanced account.</p>
-
-<p>Thereafter he was one with Mr. Sproxley in
-the financial management, under the eye of Seth
-Wetherbee. One by one he learned the points of
-the system. Wherever the accounts had run over
-a series of years, there were byways of loot. These
-pilferings were not made at once, on the same
-basis that a gardener does not cut asparagus for
-market from young roots. The plants were encouraged
-to establish themselves. After that
-the open market was supplied with a certain output,
-the rest belonging to Lot &amp; Company’s table.
-It frequently occurred to Bellair with a sort of
-enveloping darkness that he had the institution
-in his power; and with a different but equal force
-that he had a life position in all naturalness; that
-his life would be spent with slowly increasing
-monetary reward for juggling the different accounts&mdash;the
-field of crooked canes which was the
-asparagus-bed of Lot &amp; Company. He did not
-like it. He was not happy; and yet he realised
-that the adjustments his nature had already made
-to the facts, suggested an entire adjustment later,
-the final easy acceptance.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair had thought many times of getting
-out from under the die, but it never came to
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span>him with quite the force as on that Monday
-morning, after watching the <i>Jade</i> fare forth from
-the Brooklyn water-front. Something had turned
-within him as a result of that little pilgrimage,
-something that spurred to radicalism and self-assertion.
-At no time had Bellair credited himself
-with a fairer honesty than most men. He
-had never given it a large part of thinking.
-Roughly he had believed that to be honest is the
-common lot. The corruption in the office which
-he could not assimilate had to do with extensive
-ramifications, its lying to itself. The instant seizing
-upon Mr. Prentidd’s alleged weakness on the
-part of the younger Lot and the elder Wetherbee;
-the action of Mr. Sproxley with the ledger; the
-subtle will-breaking and spiritual blinding of all
-the employés in a process that never slept and
-was operative in every thought and pulse of the
-establishment&mdash;the extent and talent of these,
-and the untellable blackness of it all, prevailed
-upon Bellair with the force of a life-impression.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s present devil was a kind of inertia.
-Granting that the Unknowable had been charged
-with periods of intense action of several kinds,
-the recent half-decade might be regarded as its
-reflex condition. There is an ebb and flow to all
-things, and it is easier to adjust Bellair’s years
-at Lot &amp; Company as a sort of resting period
-for his faculties, than to accept a constitutional
-inertia in his case, for subsequent events do not
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span>quite bear that out. He doubtless belonged to
-that small class of down town men who do their
-work well enough, but without passion, who have
-faced the modern world and its need of bread and
-cake, and who have compromised, giving hours in
-exchange for essential commodities, but nothing
-like the full energies of their lives. It is a way
-beset with pitfalls, but the unavoidable result of
-a system that multiplies products and profits and
-minimizes the chances for fine workmanship on
-every hand. Moreover in Bellair’s case there is a
-philosophical detachment to be considered. The
-aims and purports of the printing establishment
-were coldly and absolutely material. These did
-not challenge him to any fine or full expenditure
-of his powers; and if he had touched that higher
-zone of philosophy which makes a consecration of
-the simplest and the heaviest tasks, he had at least
-found it impracticable to make it work among the
-systems of Lot &amp; Company’s business.</p>
-
-<p>The two years or more since he was made assistant
-cashier had brought many further items and
-exhibits. He was now used on the left hand side
-of the throne, developed in the darkness-department
-already overworked, the eye of which was
-Mr. Seth and the hand, Mr. Sproxley. For as
-yet Bellair believed that even Eben Wetherbee
-had only suspicions. This was the bite of the
-whole drama. There were men in the building
-who would have died for their conviction that the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span>House was honest. You might have told these
-men that Lot &amp; Company was a morgue of conservatism;
-that having existed under a certain
-policy for seventy-five years, was the chief reason
-for its changing; that free, unhampered genius
-never found utterance through that House&mdash;and
-any of a dozen clerks would have laughed, spoken
-proudly of unerring dividends and uncanny stability,
-granting the rest. But that Lot &amp; Company
-was structurally crooked was incredible except to
-the few who performed the trick. Bellair knew,
-for instance, that his best friend in the office,
-Broadwell, head of the advertising, was innocent....</p>
-
-<p>Monday passed without his giving notice. He
-quailed before the questions that would be asked.
-If it were not for the one thousand dollars, he
-would have escaped with a mere “Good-night,”
-though a panic would have started until the Company
-was assured of the innocence of his departure.
-As for a panic, Lot &amp; Company had that
-coming, he thought. Now he knew that he would
-not be able to get his surety-deposit until all was
-made certain in his regard by the firm....</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wasn’t greedy, nor caught in any great
-desire for wealth. He had fallen into the Down town
-Stream, but did not belong. Every month
-had weakened him. He disliked to lose his beginnings
-toward competence; all the subtle pressures
-of Lot &amp; Company worked upon him not to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span>change. There was no other way open. He had
-been touched by the fear of fear&mdash;a sort of poorhouse
-horror that dogs men up into the millions
-and down to the grave. In a way, he had become
-slave to the Job. He even had the suspicion that
-more men maim their souls by sticking to their
-jobs than by any dissipation. This is the way to
-the fear of fear&mdash;the insane undertow of modern
-materialism.</p>
-
-<p>He had tried to find peace outside his work in
-music and different philanthropies, but the people
-he met, their seriousness, perhaps more than anything
-else, and the vanity of their intellectualism,
-aroused his sense of humour. Bellair believed in
-the many, but was losing belief in himself. Often
-he had turned back to evenings in the room, and
-realised that the days were draining him too much
-for his own real expression of any kind. Always
-he felt that Lot &amp; Company was too strong for
-his temper, that his edge was dulled in every contact.
-From his depressions, he saw ahead only
-two ways&mdash;a life of this, or a moment in which
-he had Lot &amp; Company in his power unequivocably.
-The last was poisonous, and he knew it.
-He would have to fall considerably to profit by
-this sort of thing, but the inevitable conclusion
-of the whole matter, was that the life with Lot &amp;
-Company was slowly but surely <i>getting him down</i>.</p>
-
-<p>On Tuesday noon, Mr. Seth asked him to take
-to lunch a certain young stationer from Philadelphia,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span>
-named Filbrick. They were made acquainted
-in the corridor. Passing out, Bellair
-and his companion met the smile of Mr. Sproxley.
-Bellair began the formula of the cashier’s absolute
-and autocratic integrity. He did not really
-hear himself, until he reached this part:</p>
-
-<p>“I happen to be in the financial department.
-Two or three times each year, the whole office is
-thrown into a mess over some little strayed account&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He stopped. It was less that he was saying
-this, than that he had come so far without a nudge
-from within. They had passed the big front
-doors, and met the wind of the street before he
-realised how deep the mannerism of the establishment
-had prevailed upon him. The process had
-passed almost into fulfilment before the truth
-within him had stirred from its sleep.... A very
-grey day. All through that luncheon he had found
-himself at angles from his companion, in strategic
-hollows, never in the level open. It wasn’t that
-he was different from usual, but that he was
-watching himself more shrewdly. His inner coherence
-was repeatedly broken, though the outer
-effects were not. He had never perceived before
-with such clarity that a man cannot be square
-and friendly to another man, when his mind and
-critical faculties are busy appraising him, while
-his eyes and lips approved and assuaged. Bellair
-that day realised his moral derangement&mdash;that he
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span>must be ripped open and his displaced organs corrected
-once for all, if anything decent was to come
-from him ever again.... He was still thinking
-in mid-afternoon, in the very trance of these
-thoughts, when he happened to look into Mr.
-Sproxley’s face. It seemed to him that there was
-a movement of most pitiful activities back of the
-red and black of Mr. Sproxley’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>There was much mental roving on Bellair’s part
-that week; moments in which the Monday morning
-abandon returned, and his self-amazement of
-the Tuesday luncheon, upon discovering how
-deeply his thoughts were imbedded in the prevailing
-lie. New York and the salary clutched him
-hard at intervals; so that he saw something of
-what was meant to give it up; also he saw that
-dreams are dreams.... Thousands of other
-young men would be glad to do his work, even
-his dirty work.</p>
-
-<p>He had just returned from lunch on Friday
-when he started, to perceive the ruddy face and
-powerful frame of Mr. Prentidd darken the front
-door&mdash;which he had not done since his voice was
-last raised. Bellair was conscious of Seth Wetherbee
-hitching up his chair and a peculiar gasping
-cough from the old man, but his own eyes did not
-turn from the caller’s face&mdash;which moved slowly
-about, the pale little exchange-miss behind the
-first barrier, attentive to catch the stranger’s eye
-and answer his question. The inventor glanced
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span>slowly among desks and doors. His eye sought
-Sproxley, and the furtive black eyes of the latter
-shot down to his ledger as if crippled on the wing.
-His eyes held Bellair and the young man felt the
-scorn of ages burn through his veins&mdash;something
-new to his later life, yet deep in his heart, something
-he had known somewhere before, as if he
-had betrayed a good king, and his punishment
-had been to look that king in the eye before he
-died. Bellair had never hated himself as at that
-moment, and certainly never before felt himself
-identified body and soul with modern corruption,
-as now with scorn like a fiery astringent in his
-veins. The eyes of Mr. Prentidd finally settled
-upon the figure of Mr. Seth Wetherbee, their rays
-striking him abeam as it were. The old man
-hunched closer if anything, but did not raise his
-head.</p>
-
-<p>The inventor was a physical person; his morals
-of a physical nature; his Nubian file of the same
-dimension and method of mind&mdash;a strong man
-who had to do with pain and pleasure of the flesh;
-his ideas of possessions were of the world. He
-moved softly, a soft, dangerous smile upon his
-lips, to the desk of the vice-president and jerked
-up a chair. The old man had to raise his head.
-It was as if the scene of three years ago was now
-to be continued, for Bellair saw the sorrowful,
-lengthened face of Mr. Eben turn from his desk in
-the other room and bend toward his father, whose
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span>face was intensely pathetic now in its forced smile
-of greeting.</p>
-
-<p>“You’re not looking well&mdash;in fact, you’re looking
-old, Mr. Wetherbee, as if you would die pretty
-soon.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m not so strong as I was, Mr. Prentidd.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair couldn’t have done it, as the inventor
-did. Had the man stolen and ruined him&mdash;he
-could not have pushed on after the pathos of that.</p>
-
-<p>“You’re a dirty old man&mdash;and you’ll die hard
-and soon&mdash;for you lied to me when I trusted you.
-I suppose you have lied to everybody, all your
-life&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Thus he baited Mr. Seth feature by feature,
-pointing out the disorder of liver, kidney-puffs, the
-general encroachments of death, in fact. Then he
-pictured the death itself&mdash;all of a low literary
-strength as was Mr. Prentidd’s cold habit. The
-answer of Mr. Seth was an incoherent helplessness,
-his lips moving but with nothing rational
-under the sun, as if he had been called by some inexorable
-but superior being to an altitude where he
-was too evil to breathe, and begged piteously to
-be allowed to sink back and die. It was Mr.
-Eben who stopped it, coming forward quietly, his
-steps rounded, his shoulders bent, his face seeming
-brittle as chalk in its fixity. The thing that he
-said was quite absurd:</p>
-
-<p>“You really mustn’t, Mr. Prentidd. It is too
-much.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p>
-
-<p>The inventor turned to him. His look was that
-of a man who turns a large morsel in his mouth.</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps you’re right,” he said with a slow
-laugh. “There is this delicacy to old liars. Come
-give me my check&mdash;and I will go.”</p>
-
-<p>“Your check&mdash;&mdash;” Mr. Eben repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, now&mdash;the check for the difference which
-your father’s lie cost me three years ago. I have
-seen the English books&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Now young Mr. Jabez Lot came forward:</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, if there has been error or any
-breach of contract&mdash;of course, you see a check off
-hand such as you ask is out of the question&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The elder Mr. Wetherbee sank back to his desk;
-and now the dreamer, Mr. Nathan Lot, appeared
-with a frightened word of amelioration. Mr. Eben
-stood by the caller to the last moment. The latter
-was not at his best in this period&mdash;his threats and
-anger amounted to the usual result. Lot &amp; Company
-refused to deal further, referring him to its
-attorney. The strangest part of it all was the
-gathering of three around Mr. Seth Wetherbee’s
-desk&mdash;Mr. Jabez and his father with Mr. Eben.
-Yet the concern of the Lots, father and son, had
-nothing to do with dangerous exhaustion of the
-vice-president.</p>
-
-<p>“We have beaten him,” the dreamer said softly.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, Mr. Jackson will do the rest,” said Mr.
-Jabez. Mr. Jackson was the attorney.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair, even with his training, had to take it
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span>slowly. “Beaten him”&mdash;that meant that the
-money had not passed to Mr. Prentidd. It was
-now with the law and the years&mdash;millions against
-a mere inventor. The psychic slaughtering of the
-old vice-president did not count&mdash;nothing of
-words counted. The firm had won, because the
-firm had not been knocked down and its pockets
-rifled&mdash;that would have meant loss. Not having
-been forced to pay, they had won.... Even as
-Bellair thought this out in full, the system of
-salving had begun from all the firm-heads for the
-benefit of those who heard. It was simply arranged
-and stated.... Their worst fears were
-realised: Mr. Prentidd was insane.... Mr.
-Seth went home early. Bellair knew that Mr.
-Eben had not been able to turn all responsibility
-to Mr. Jackson.... That afternoon Bellair
-reached his decision&mdash;in fact, he found it finished
-within him after the scene.</p>
-
-<p>Yet he could not walk out at once, since he
-must have the amount of his surety, the item of
-interest and salary due. A certain project in his
-mind prevented the possibility of waiting several
-days for this amount to be detached from Lot &amp;
-Company. Especially now after the final scene,
-they would make themselves very sure of his accounts
-and intentions. Late that Friday afternoon,
-it happened that considerable cash came in
-after banking hours. Bellair’s custom was to put
-this in a safety-vault until the following day.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span>This time he held out the amount of his deposit
-and two years’ interest, together with the amount
-of his salary to date, locking up with the balance
-his order of release to the account of the Trust
-company. He determined to write a letter to
-Nathan Lot at once....</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">4</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The City had a different look to him that night
-in his new sense of detachment. There were
-moments at dinner in which he felt as if he were
-already forgotten and out of place. Bellair had
-only known the one landlady in his five years
-of New York; yet he knew this one no better
-now than at the end of the first month. Perhaps
-there was nothing more to learn. She was
-anæmic of body, and yet did prodigious tasks,
-very quiet, very grey; and days to her were
-like endless rooms of the same house, all grim
-and uniform. She had her little ways, her continual
-suspicions, but all her faith was gone.
-Without church, without friends, without any
-new thought or gossip, her view of the world was
-neither magnified nor diminished, but greatly
-shortened, her eyes were almost incredibly dim.
-There was nothing to love about her. She was
-not excessively clean, nor excellent in cooking.
-She was like wax-work, a little dusty, her mind
-and all. Bellair paid her for the week, and added
-a present:</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Which I forgot on your birthday,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>She held it in her hand. It did not seem hers.
-The apathy extended to all that was not actually
-due; all expectancy dead.</p>
-
-<p>“You mean you are giving this to me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you, Mr. Bellair,&mdash;perhaps you will
-want it some time again.”</p>
-
-<p>He wrote the letter to Mr. Nathan, but decided
-not to mail it until the last thing. He was restless
-over the irregularity in the money affair&mdash;had
-to assure himself again and again that he
-was taking not a cent that did not belong to him.
-The boarding-house was in the upper Forties between
-Broadway and Sixth avenue, and though
-he usually turned eastward for pleasure, this night
-he went among his own people, where even a
-nickle was medium of exchange. A stimulant did
-not exactly relieve his tension. His sense was
-that of loneliness, as he chose a table in <i>Brandt’s</i>
-indoor garden.</p>
-
-<p>A mixed quartette presently broke into song behind
-him. Bellair’s thoughts were far from song.
-He was not expectant of music that would satisfy.
-Still something tugged him&mdash;again and again&mdash;until
-he really listened, but without turning. It
-was the voice of the contralto that was making
-an impression deep where his need was. There
-seemed an endless purple background to it, like a
-night of stars and south wind; the soft, deep
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span>volume rolled forth <i>for him</i>, and found itself expressed
-without amazement or travail. He turned
-now. The one voice was from the throat of a
-girl, just a girl, and though it was a gusty November,
-she was still wearing her summer hat.</p>
-
-<p>The face was merely pretty, but the voice was
-drama; flame of poppies in the presence of a
-fabulous orchid. Bellair’s heart may have been
-particularly sensitive to impression that night.
-The big brilliant den known as <i>Brandt’s</i> did not
-seem to have been cast into any enchantment; and
-yet it was likely that Bellair knew as much about
-music natively and by acquisition as any one present.
-In fact, he had reached the state of appreciation
-which dares to enjoy that which appeals and
-to say so, having endured for several winters a
-zeal which rushed him from one to another
-musical event, intolerant of all save classic symphonies.
-It wasn’t the music that held him now&mdash;a
-high flowery operatic matter not particularly
-interesting nor well-done&mdash;but the contralto was
-just a little girl, and the round girlish breast which
-held nothing miraculous for the many, was sending
-forth tones that quivered through Bellair,
-spine and thigh, and thrilling his mind with a
-profound passion to do something for the singer&mdash;an
-intrinsic and clean emotion, but one which
-made him ashamed. For an instant, he felt himself
-setting out on the great adventure of his life,
-the faintest aroma of its romance touching his
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span>senses; something akin to his dreams in the prison
-of Lot &amp; Company, and which he had not sensed
-at all since his departure, until this instant.
-Quickly it passed; yet he had the sense that
-this great romance had to do with the little
-singer.</p>
-
-<p>At once he wanted to take her from the other
-three; dreamed of working for her, so that she
-might have the chance she craved. Of course, she
-wanted something terribly; passionate want always
-went with such a voice. He saw her future
-alone. Some vampire of a manager would hear
-her. She would tie up&mdash;the little summer hat
-told him that. She would tie up, and New York
-would take her bloom before the flower matured&mdash;would
-take more than her little song. Here
-she was in <i>Brandt’s</i> already, and singing as if for
-the angels.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was four-fifths undiscovered country,
-as are all men but the very few, who dare to be
-themselves. Already the world was calling to him
-sharply for this first step aside from the worn
-highways of the crowd. He had not been normal
-to-night, even in his room; and his present adventure
-had already summoned forth all the hateful
-reserves of his training, as Prentidd’s departure
-had started the lies through the floors and halls
-of Lot &amp; Company. His heart was calling out to
-the little singer, that here was a friend, one who
-understood and wanted nothing but to give; yet
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span>all that he had learned from the world was beating
-him back into the crowd.</p>
-
-<p>He saw that the music had hardly penetrated
-the vast vulgar throng. New York is so accustomed
-to be amused, to dine to music and forget
-itself in various entertainments, that the quartette
-barely held its own against the routine of eating
-and drink and the voices of rising stimulation.
-It was Bellair who started the little applause when
-the first number was over. He hated to do it.
-The clapping of hands drew to himself eyes that
-he did not care to cultivate, but it seemed the only
-way just then to help her to make good.</p>
-
-<p>The four of the quartette looked at him curiously,
-appraising his value as a critic, perhaps.
-Was he drunk or really appealed to? Was he
-worth considering? Applause at any price is
-dearly to be had. They took him in good faith,
-since he was not without desirable appearance.
-The young girl and the tenor arose and sang:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">“<i>Oh, that we two were Maying&mdash;&mdash;</i>”</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>The old song was a kind of fulfilment for
-Bellair, and preciously wrung his heart. He had
-never been Maying; wasn’t sure what sort of holidays
-were pulled off in regular Mayings; but he
-liked the song, and for all he knew the familiar
-sentiment was evoked bewitchingly. Many others
-now caught the thrall. These things are infectious.
-From hatred, he came to love <i>Brandt’s</i>&mdash;as
-if he had come home, and had been long away
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span>hungering&mdash;as if this were life, indeed....
-They sang the last verse again, and sat down for
-hurried refreshment. The four were very near.
-The young girl caught Bellair’s eye, regarded him
-shyly for an instant, and turned to whisper to
-the bass, who seemed in charge of the four.</p>
-
-<p>“... Yes, but hurry back. We’ve got to pull
-out of here.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wasn’t dangling. Never had he been
-more intent to be decent and helpful. No one
-knew this. Even the girl was far from expectant.
-... She sat down beside him.</p>
-
-<p>“Hello,” she said. “You don’t live in New
-York, do you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, why?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you looked so homesick&mdash;when we sang.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s heart sank.</p>
-
-<p>“I think I was homesick. What may I order
-for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“A little Rhine wine&mdash;it’s very good here&mdash;and
-a sandwich&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The waiter was standing by. Bellair had to
-clear his voice before ordering. He was distressed&mdash;up
-to his eyes in gloom that was general and
-without name.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">5</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">“Do you sing in other places to-night?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes, we’re just beginning. We’re on
-Broadway at eleven.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Where?”</p>
-
-<p>“First at <i>Pastern’s</i>, then at the <i>Castle</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>These places were just without the orbit of
-extravagance. She knew her answer was not
-exactly a stock-raiser, and added:</p>
-
-<p>“But I expect to be on the road in the
-Spring&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Who with?”</p>
-
-<p>She mentioned a light opera troupe that was
-just short of broad and unqualified approval&mdash;like
-<i>Brandt’s</i> and <i>Pastern’s</i>&mdash;an institution as yet
-without that mysterious toppiness which needs no
-props and meets sanction anywhere. These things
-are exactly ordered.</p>
-
-<p>“But you are so good&mdash;you should be with people
-who would help you.”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him a little scornfully, something
-of weather and stress under the summer hat. She
-decided to be agreeable. “They all say that,”
-she said wearily.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m sorry. I said just what I thought.”</p>
-
-<p>“Study&mdash;a girl without a cent!” She lowered
-her voice: “Go with better people&mdash;before one is
-invited? Swing to the top of the opera before
-one is sufficiently urged?... Why, singing isn’t
-all. One must do more than sing&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You should try. Singing won’t get you
-across. You’ve got to act, for one thing.”</p>
-
-<p>He was relieved that she did not discuss the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span>angel business, which is forgotten in so few stories
-of struggle and failure.</p>
-
-<p>“I tell you, all that one has to do is to sing&mdash;when
-one sings as you do.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have heard that many times,” she said bitterly,
-“from people not in the fight. They didn’t
-come to New York on their nerve&mdash;as I did. I
-made up my mind not to be afraid of wolves or
-bears or cars&mdash;to take what I could get, and wait
-until somebody beckoned me higher. Meanwhile
-<i>Pastern’s</i> and the <i>Castle</i> and here&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish I could do something for you.”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes gleamed at him.</p>
-
-<p>“You need money?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I need money so terribly&mdash;that it’s almost a
-joke&mdash;but what do <i>you</i> want?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair rubbed his eyes, and smiled a little. “I
-don’t know what’s the matter with me, but I want
-to do something for you. At least, I did want
-just that.”</p>
-
-<p>“What happened?”</p>
-
-<p>“It isn’t a thing to talk or think about, I’m
-afraid. One starts thinking, and ends by wanting
-something&mdash;and I didn’t at first. What I said at
-first I meant&mdash;nothing more nor less.”</p>
-
-<p>Her lips tightened. “If you mean just
-that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It raked him within. He did not help her by
-speaking. Somehow he had expected her to see
-that he had meant well. It was always a mystery
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span>to him how anything fine could be expected of
-men, if women were not so.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, I have to understand,” she added.
-“I can do with a poor room and poor food, but
-I can’t get anywhere without clothes.... I must
-go now.”</p>
-
-<p>“I want you to excuse me if I’ve given you the
-idea of my being rich. I’m not, but I might help
-you some. How late do you work?”</p>
-
-<p>“One o’clock.”</p>
-
-<p>“Where are you last?”</p>
-
-<p>“At the <i>Castle</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what time do you get there?”</p>
-
-<p>“About eleven-thirty.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll be there. Sing ‘<i>Maying</i>’ for an encore&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She made believe that she trusted him.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll sing it at the <i>Castle</i> the last thing,” she
-said, leaving hastily.</p>
-
-<p>No ease had come to him. His thoughts now
-were not the same as those which had come during
-the singing. He tried to put them away. He
-didn’t like the idea of giving her money. He
-knew that she didn’t expect to see him again;
-also that if he did come she would accept the service
-of a stranger, and give in return as little as she
-could. How explicit she was, already touched
-with the cold stone of the world. He did want
-to help her, and it had been pure at first. Talk
-as usual had broken the beauty of that. Sophistication<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span>
-and self-consciousness had come; her face
-changing more and more as the moments passed
-after the song. New York had taught them each
-their parts. It had been her thought from the first
-that he was looking for prey, but it had been very
-far from his.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was not without imagination. He saw
-himself following this girl in a future time, playing
-the part he had despised in other men&mdash;the
-dumb, slaving, enduring male; she continually
-expectant of his services, petulant, unreasonable
-without them. For the first time the question
-came to him: Is there not a queer sort of conquest
-in the lives of such men?... She was for herself;
-had it all planned out, the waiting, and what
-she would give on the way up, beside her song.
-It would not be much; as little as possible, in fact;
-but as much as was absolutely demanded. Bellair
-in the present state of mind seemed to object to
-all this less than what she wanted of the world&mdash;praise
-and fame.</p>
-
-<p>“She’s just a little girl after all,” he muttered.
-“She ought to have her chance.”</p>
-
-<p>He added (easing the conception a little for
-his own peace) that she was only franker and
-more outspoken than other women he had known;
-that they all wanted money and place, and wanted
-men who could furnish such things. Suddenly it
-occurred that the incident automatically supplied
-the final break with Lot &amp; Company and New
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span>York. He laughed aloud.... He might borrow
-enough in time to make up the amount he
-gave her for morning, but that would certainly
-be a betrayal of the fiery urge that had whipped
-him all week to cross over into a new life and
-burn the last bridge.</p>
-
-<p>He took his bags down to the station, arranging
-with the landlady to have his goods stored for the
-present. After that he rambled, a grateful freshness
-in the cool wind. His steps led through
-darker streets, where he startled the misery from
-the faces of the forbidden who took a chance on
-him. Their voices <i>would</i> whine; they couldn’t
-help it, and all they wanted in the world was
-money.... He was at the <i>Castle</i> before the
-quartette came.... They sang and Bellair
-dreamed.</p>
-
-<p>He had never made pretence of other than the
-commonest lot; yet he conned now an early manhood
-that made later years utterly common. He
-followed the enticements of the sea, of the future,
-the singing-girl never far away, the rest shadows
-and sadness.... He must do something for her....
-Rich natural tones winged forth from the
-breast of a maid, from shoulders so delicate and
-white. He would make and keep her great; here
-was something to do, to work for. It was like
-finding the ultimate secret. He knew now what
-had been the matter all the time&mdash;nothing to
-work for.... He would stand between her and
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span>all that he knew was rotten&mdash;the crowds like this
-at the <i>Castle</i>, the blurred face of the tenor which
-was both sharp and soft, the tired, tawdry soprano,
-the stupid animal of a bass. And Bellair, in the
-magnanimity of his heart’s effusion, included himself
-among the forces of destruction. He would
-keep her from the worst of himself, by all means....
-She kept her promise, and arose with the
-tenor at last:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse indent0">“<i>Oh, that we two were Maying&mdash;&mdash;</i>”</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>... New York and all the rest reversed again
-in his mind. It wasn’t rotten, but lavish to furnish
-everything for money&mdash;so much that men
-and women were lost in the offerings, and did
-not know what to choose. Yet it was man’s business
-to choose. Bellair listened as one across
-the world; as if he had been gone a year and was
-thirsting and starving to get back. He was literally
-longing for New York, with its ramifications
-all about him&mdash;yet the thing he wanted, he could
-not touch. It was like a sick stomach that infested
-his whole nature with desire, while everything
-was at hand but the exact nameless thing
-desired.... She was like a saint, as she stood
-there, her mouth so pure, her features so pretty,
-her voice so brave and tireless&mdash;starry to Bellair,
-a night-voice with depths and heights
-and dew-fragrance. She was coming to
-him.</p>
-
-<p>“You look just the same. I wouldn’t take you
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span>for a New Yorker.... Yes, I am through for
-to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>“I should think you’d love to sing,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>The remark was fatuous to her. She didn’t
-know that a year ago Bellair wouldn’t have dared
-to say anything so commonplace, but that he had
-come back to this simplicity from the complication
-of classics she had never heard of.</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me, what do you want most?” he asked
-earnestly. “I don’t mean the need of clothes.
-We’ve covered that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I want all that a voice will bring.”</p>
-
-<p>“Great salaries, noise wherever you go, a continual
-performance of newspaper articles?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“A score of men praying for favours?”</p>
-
-<p>She sipped warily.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t mind my question. It isn’t fair. But
-tell me, doesn’t it do something to you&mdash;to get
-even a man like me going, for instance,&mdash;to make
-him all different and full of pictures that haven’t
-anything to do with the case?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know what you mean.”</p>
-
-<p>He stared at her. “You ought to. You do it.
-I’m not talking of art or soul, or any of that stuff.
-That isn’t it. I mean just what your singing
-amounts to in my case. It means New York, but
-not the routine New York&mdash;possibly the New
-York that might be. It means <i>Maying</i>&mdash;whatever
-that is&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></p>
-<p>“You must have been drinking a lot, since I
-left <i>Brandt’s</i>,” she said merrily.</p>
-
-<p>He didn’t let it hurt him, and was miserable
-anyway. “The fact is, I didn’t take a drink since
-Sixth avenue, until a moment ago.”</p>
-
-<p>He saw that she was debating the vital matter
-of the evening&mdash;whether he was a piker who must
-be shaken presently, or whether he would really
-make good on his offer to help in the essentials of
-career.</p>
-
-<p>“What’s your name?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Bessie Brealt.”</p>
-
-<p>“And where could I find you, if I wanted to
-write?”</p>
-
-<p>He noted her swift disappointment. There
-was positive pain in the air. He knew well what
-she was thinking, though her sweet face covered
-well: that he was about to promise to send the
-money to her, that ancient beau business. She
-took a last chance, and mentioned a booking
-agency that might answer for a permanent address.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll want to write&mdash;I feel that. And
-here, Bessie, if you don’t mind my saying
-‘Bessie,’ I can spare a hundred for that
-wardrobe. I’d like to do some really big thing
-for you.”</p>
-
-<p>He saw tears start to her eyes, but was not carried
-out of reason by them. She had wanted the
-money fiercely and it had come.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span></p>
-
-<p>“How are you going to get home?” he asked,
-to relieve the embarrassment.</p>
-
-<p>She glanced up quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t mean that I want to take you home,”
-he said, shocked by the ugliness of the world that
-had called this explanation so hastily. “My train
-needs me.... Say, Bessie, men haven’t supplied
-you with altogether pleasant experiences so far,
-have they?”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll get a car home.”</p>
-
-<p>He gave her his card.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Better let me get you a cab to-night. It’s
-late.”</p>
-
-<p>She thanked him again.... At the curb, as
-the driver backed in, Bessie put up her lips to him.</p>
-
-<p>“... Dear singing-girl&mdash;I didn’t ask that.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s because you didn’t, I think. Really that’s
-it. Oh, thank you. Good-night.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair beckoned another cab, and sank back
-into the dark. All the way to the station, and
-through to the Savannah-Pullman, he was wrenching
-himself clear from something like a passion
-to turn about to New York. At the last moment,
-before the train moved, he recalled the letter to
-Mr. Nathan, and hailed a station porter from
-the step.</p>
-
-<p>“Please mail this for me,” he said, bringing up
-silver with the letter.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65-67]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_THREE_THE_JADE_II">PART THREE<br />
-THE JADE: II</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">B</span>ellair</span> had to wait less than two days
-in Savannah, for the <i>Jade</i> had made a
-pretty passage. Impressions rushed
-home too swift for his mind to follow,
-as he stepped aboard from the cotton dock; the
-number of impressions, he did not know, until he
-began the inventory in his cabin afterward. Last
-and first and most compelling, however, was the
-spectacle of Stackhouse, that David Hume figure
-of a man, reclining in his cane-chair of similar
-vast proportions just aft of the main-shrouds. A
-momentous hammock of canes, that steamer-chair,
-with gentle giving slopes for the calves and broad
-containers, polished with wear and tightly woven
-like armour, for the arms; a sliding basket for
-the head, suggestive of a guillotine’s grisly complement;
-the whole adjusted to Stackhouse and
-no other.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p>
-
-<p>Humid heat in the harbour, a day of soft low
-clouds. The man who pushed Brooklyn from
-him, had discarded even more thoroughly the
-clothing of temperate climes. The vivid black
-of his hairy chest was uncovered, and there was a
-shining bar of the same, just above the selvage of
-white sock. Bellair thought he must be hairy as
-a collie dog.... But mainly that which
-weighted and creaked the chair seemed an enormous
-puddle of faded silks.</p>
-
-<p>The bulky brown head (which arose plumb as
-a wall from the back of the neck) had slightly
-bowed as Bellair passed. There was something
-ox-like in the placidity of the brown eyes, but that
-was only their first beam, as it were. Much that
-was within and behind the eyes of Stackhouse,
-Bellair thought of afterward. Through a deep,
-queer process, it came to him that even the answer
-for his coming was in that indescribable background;
-and restless, too, in the pervading brown,
-a movement of sleek animals there. The Japanese
-woman had <i>skuffed</i> forward with drink for her
-lord.</p>
-
-<p>Over all was the cloud of canvas and rigging,
-which Bellair had studied from the land, and
-which had forced him to a fine respect for the
-ruffian sailor-men who could move directly in such
-an arcanum, and command its service. Bellair
-had not found such labour on shore, having lost
-his respect for the many who did not learn even
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span>the commonest work.... There was a deep-sea
-smell about her, a solution of tar and dried fruit,
-paint and steaming coppers from the galley.</p>
-
-<p>The very age of the <i>Jade</i> was a charm to him.
-Only her spine and ribs and plates were of steel&mdash;the
-rest a priceless woodwork that had come into
-its real beauty under the endlessly wearing hands
-of man. There seemed a grain and maturity to
-the inner parts, as if the strain and roughing of
-the seas had brought out the real enduring heart
-of the excellent fabric. The rose-wood side-board
-of his upper berth, for instance, placed for the full
-light from the port to fall upon it, was worth the
-price of the passage&mdash;sixteen inches wide, a full
-inch and one-half thick, worn to a soft lustre as
-if the human hands had hallowed it, and giving
-back to the touch the same answer from the years
-that a vine brings to stone-work and the bouquet
-to wine.... The <i>Jade</i> had known good care and
-answered. Floors, even of the cabins, were hollowed
-from much stoning; the hinges held and
-ferried their burdens in silence, and the old locks
-moved with soft contented clicks, the wards running
-in new oil.</p>
-
-<p>A city man who had long dreamed of a country
-garden; or indeed, Bellair was a city man who had
-long dreamed of a full-rigged ship to fulfil in
-part the romance of his soul. The <i>Jade</i> had a
-dear inner life for him, satisfied him with her
-lines, her breathing, settling and repose. A fine
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span>hunger began to animate the length and breadth
-of the man.</p>
-
-<p>There was a half hour of straight, clear thinking,
-of the kind that plumbs the outlook with the
-in, and mainly comes unawares. Bessie Brealt,
-of course, appeared and passed, in all the hardness
-of her life and the pity of it, but the days that
-had elapsed since the parting had not changed his
-unique desire to help her; nor did he lie to himself
-that he wanted her, too, as a man wants a woman.
-He loved her in a way, against his will. Possibly
-the kiss had fixed that. In the solution of the
-running thoughts, and without subtlety of mingling,
-was the face on deck, the dark, extraordinary
-face of Stackhouse.</p>
-
-<p>They were a full day at sea, before Bellair was
-called to sit down before the great cane chair.
-There was a warm land wind; November already
-forgotten. The <i>Jade</i> had gathered up her skirts
-and was swinging along with a low music of her
-own. Stackhouse waddled back to his chair from
-the land-rail, a remarkable mass of crumpled silks,
-the canes marked in the general effusion of dampness
-along his back and legs, the silks caught up
-behind by a system of wrinkles and imprints, and
-one hitched pantaloon revealing the familiar muff
-of fur above the selvage of his fallen sock. Now
-Stackhouse was preparing to enter. Bellair was
-caught in the tension. The process, while prodigious,
-was not without its delicate parts. One
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span>hand was irrevocably occupied with a long-stemmed
-China pipe, a warm creamy vase, already
-admired by Bellair. Breath came in puffs and
-pantings of fragrant tobacco, but there were gurglings
-and strange stoppages of air that complained
-from deeper passages.</p>
-
-<p>Creaking began at the corners; and a wallowing
-as if from the father of all boars. Now the centre
-of the chair caught the strain in full and whipped
-forth its remonstrance. One after another the
-legs gripped the deck, each with a whimper of its
-own; and the air was filled with sharp singing tension
-which infected the nerves of the watcher.
-Suddenly the torso seemed to let go of itself; and
-from the canes of the huge central hollow came a
-scream in unison. By miracle the whole found
-itself once more and the breathing of Stackhouse
-subsided to a whine.</p>
-
-<p>“We are entering the latitude of rum,” said
-he. “Whoever you are, young man, drink the
-drink of nature, and you will brosper.”</p>
-
-<p>The west was just a shore-line, the dusk rising
-like a tide. The hand of the owner pressed the
-silks variously about his chest, and at last located
-a loose match. Nerves were sparsely scattered in
-these thick, heavy-fleshed fingers. He had to stop
-all talk and memory to direct his feeling. The
-match at length emerged from his palm, and slithered
-over the fine canes of the arm. It was damp.
-Stackhouse rubbed the sulphur delicately in the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span>hair at his temple and tried again. Fire leaped to
-the tip, and poured out from the great hand which
-pressed it to the pipe and mothered it from the
-wind. From the gurgling passages, smoke now
-poured as the sweetness in Sampson’s riddle.</p>
-
-<p>Rum had come. The Japanese woman served
-them. The youth of her face chilled Bellair; the
-littleness of her, all the tints and delicacy of a
-miniature in her whitened face. Bright-hued silk,
-a placid smile, the <i>skuffing</i> of her wooden sandals
-and the clock-work intricacy of the coils of her
-black hair&mdash;these were but decorations of the
-tragedy which came home to the American where
-he was still tender.... But why should he burn
-tissue? She seemed happy. He knew that the
-Japanese women require very little to make them
-happy; but that little was denied this maiden. An
-hour a day to giggle with her girl-friends behind
-a lattice, and she might have borne twenty-three
-hours of hell with calmness and cheer, not counterfeit
-like this.</p>
-
-<p>“You have no true drink of the soil in Ameriga,”
-said Stackhouse. “You do not make beer
-nor wine, so you make no music. The only drink
-and the only music that come from the States of
-Ameriga, are from the nigger-folk who do not belong
-there. They make music and corn whiskey.
-The rest is boison to the soul.”</p>
-
-<p>The voice was rich and mellow. He must have
-known Teutonic beginnings, or enough association
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span>for the mannerisms to get into his blood. Stackhouse
-was not even without that softness of sentiment,
-though he was tender only for men. Except
-for a spellable word here and there, his accent
-was inimitable. He talked of little other than
-death, and with indescribable care&mdash;as if he had
-been much with men of another language or with
-men of slow understanding.... It may have
-been the drink, or the sunset over distant land;
-the Spanish Main ahead, or the dryness and pentness
-of the city-heart and its achievement of long-dreamed
-desire in a snug, sweet ship under the
-easy strain of sails with wind in them; in any
-event Bellair was drawn with exquisite passion&mdash;drawn
-southward as the <i>Jade</i> was drawn in the
-soft, irresistible strength of nature.</p>
-
-<p>He knew that this would pass, that he could
-not continue to sense this <i>rapport</i> with the sea-board,
-but he loved it now, breathed deep, and
-saw Stackhouse as he was never to be seen again.
-There was enchantment in the eyes of the great
-wanderer, and a certain culture of its kind in its
-stories. Bellair listened and in the gleam of the
-broad, dark eyes, there seemed a glimpse of burning
-ships, shadowy caravans on moonlit sands
-and the flash of arms by night; low-lying lights of
-island ports, formless rafts, spuming breakers,
-mourning derelicts&mdash;just glimpses, but of all the
-gloom and garishness of the sea. He began a
-monologue that night, and though it is not this
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span>story, it was not interrupted except by meals and
-sleeping, for many days; and all the pauses in
-that story were the dramatic pauses of death:</p>
-
-<p>“... I have travelled more than most travellers
-and have seen more than is good for one man.
-In New York I saw Brundage of Frisco, who
-asked me if I remembered Perry. I said I remembered
-very well, for Perry was a bartner of mine,
-before young Brundage came out to the Islands.
-He told me Perry was six weeks buried. That is
-the way now. When I was young, my combanions
-did not die in beds. They were killed.
-Eight months ago, I saw Emslie&mdash;waved at him
-going up the river to Shanghai. He was outward
-bound, and came home to us in Adelaide in a
-sealed box. Old Foster, who is richer than I, has
-married a little Marie in Manila and may die
-when he pleases now. The South Seas still run
-in and yonder among Island shores, but who buys
-wine for the Japanese girls in Dunedin, since
-Norcross was conscripted for the service we all
-shall know?...</p>
-
-<p>“And thus you come to the <i>Jade</i>, and some
-time you will here them dell of Stackhouse. Who
-knows but you may dell the story&mdash;of a familiar
-face turned down like an oft-filled glass? And
-some one will say, ‘He has not laughed these many
-years.’ They used to say in the <i>Smilax</i> at Hong
-Kong, when the harbour was raving and the seas
-were trying to climb the mountain&mdash;they used
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span>to say that Stackhouse was laughing somewhere
-off the China coasts. But there are only so many
-laughs in a man, and they go out with the years.
-Most of those who said that thing of Stackhouse&mdash;yes,
-most of them, are dead as glacial drift.”</p>
-
-<p>Such was the quality of his perorations,
-hunched ox-like just aft of the main-shrouds&mdash;the
-Japanese woman coming and going with the
-ship’s bells, bringing drinks day and night.</p>
-
-<p>“It seared my coppers&mdash;that drinking in the
-States of Ameriga. It will not subdue,” said he.
-“One has a thirst for weeks after a few days of
-drinking in Ameriga. For one must be bolite.”</p>
-
-<p>He was never stimulated, seldom depressed, but
-saturated his great frame twenty hours of the
-twenty-four, the Japanese woman seeming to understand
-with few or no words the whims of taste
-of which he was made. Just once in the small
-hours, Bellair heard her voice. The cane-chair
-had not been empty long, and the silence of soft
-rain was upon the deck. Bellair had opened a
-package of New York papers purchased on the
-last day in Savannah.... It was just one
-scream, but the scream of one not frightened by
-any human thing.... The roll of papers
-dropped down behind the bunk. Anyway, Bellair
-could not have read after that. Early in the
-morning after hours of torture of dreams, he was
-awakened as usual by the sluicing of the monster.
-Two Lascars who travelled with Stackhouse apparently<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span>
-for no other purpose, poured pails of
-salt water upon him in the early hour when the
-decks were washed; and often at midday as they
-neared the Line. It was given to Bellair more
-than once, as the voyage lengthened, to witness
-this hippodrome.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Her face was continually turned away. Bellair
-wondered as days passed if he should
-ever see her face to face&mdash;the silent, far-looking
-young woman with a nursing baby in her arms.
-On deck she stood at the rail, eyes lost oversea.
-Her contemplation appeared to have nothing to
-do with Europe or America, but set to the wind
-wherever it came from, as the strong are always
-turned up-stream. Sometimes she wore a little
-blue jacket, curiously reminding Bellair of school-days,
-and though she was not far from that in
-years, she seemed to have passed far into the
-world. The child cried rarely.</p>
-
-<p>There was a composure about the mother, but
-he did not know if it were stolidity or poise. Certainly
-she had known poverty, but health was
-in her skin, and there was something in that white
-profile, that the sun had touched with olive rather
-than tan, that stopped his look. The perfection
-of it dismayed Bellair. He loved beauty, but did
-not trust it, did not trust himself with it. The
-presence of a beautiful face stimulated him as no
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span>wine could do, but it also started him to idealising
-that which belonged to it, and this process had
-heretofore brought disappointment. Bellair did
-not want this touch of magnetism now. Beauty
-was plentiful. He had seen the profiles of Italian
-girls in New York, that the Greeks would have
-worshipped, and which the early worship of the
-Greeks was doubtless responsible for&mdash;beauty
-with little beside but giggle and sham. He disliked
-the thing in a man’s breast that answers so
-instantly to the line and colour of a woman’s face;
-objected to it primarily, because it was one of the
-first and most obvious tricks of nature for the replenishment
-of species in man and below. Bellair
-fancied to answer the captivation, if any at all, of
-a deeper wonder in woman than the contour of her
-countenance.</p>
-
-<p>He was aware that many a woman has a beautiful
-profile, whose direct look is a disturbing reconsideration.
-This kept his eyes down, when
-she was opposite in the dining cabin. We are
-strangely trained at table; at no time so merciful.
-The human dining countenance must be lovely,
-indeed, not to break the laws of beauty. Only
-outright lovers dare, and they are bewildered by
-each other, and see not. So he did not know the
-colour of her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>She nursed her baby often on deck, sitting bare-headed
-in the wind and sun, sometimes singing to
-it. The singing was all her own; Bellair wished
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span>she wouldn’t. Her melodies were foreign, and
-sometimes it seemed to him as if they were just a
-touch off the key. Her low dissonances, he described
-vaguely as Russian, but retained the suspicion
-that she was tonally imperfect of hearing.</p>
-
-<p>The singing and the picture of her was just as
-far as possible from Bessie Brealt, but she made
-Bellair think. In all likelihood this was the general
-objection. His eyes smarted in the dusks,
-as he thought of the other singer (as solitary in
-New York as this woman here), who was determined
-not to be afraid of the cars or the bears or
-the wolves. Every day Bessie’s first words returned
-to him:</p>
-
-<p>“A little Rhine wine&mdash;it’s very good here.”</p>
-
-<p>And always the devastation of that sentence
-was great. It was a street-woman’s inside
-familiarity, <i>Brandt’s</i> being one of her rounds; as
-she might speak of the beer at <i>Holbeck’s</i> or the
-chops at <i>Sharpe’s</i>. Yet Bessie was not greedy,
-and had no taste for wine. It was the glibness,
-the town mannerism, and the low, easy level which
-her acceptance of the common saying revealed;
-the life which she was willing to make her own,
-at least exteriorly. But after all, in the better
-moments, it seemed very silly to deny a great soul
-to the girl who could sing as Bessie sang. Some
-day she would feel her soul....</p>
-
-<p>The preacher, third passenger on board the
-<i>Jade</i>, reported that the Faraway woman was returning<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span>
-to her home in New Zealand. Fleury
-didn’t know if her baby was boy or girl, but
-judged that it was very healthy, since it cried so
-little.</p>
-
-<p>Fleury wasn’t promising to Bellair’s eyes.
-First of all it was the cloth; and then during the
-first three weeks at sea, Bellair spent innumerable
-hours in the periphery of the great cane-chair.
-He did not resist his prejudice. “A missionary
-going out with the usual effrontery,” he decided.
-The preacher’s face appeared placid and boyish....
-Fleury, however, continued to observe cheerful
-good-mornings, to praise the fine weather, and
-to offer opportunities for better acquaintance&mdash;all
-without being obtrusive in the least. Hayti and
-Santo Domingo&mdash;names once remote and romantic
-to the city man’s mind&mdash;were now vanished
-shores, and as yet the voyage was but well begun....
-The three passengers were served together in
-the cabin, except in cases when the Stackhouse
-narrative happened to be running particularly
-well. Bellair would then be called to dine with
-the owner. Captain McArliss would appear at
-this mess and disappear&mdash;the courses being
-brought to him one after another in a certain rapid
-form. The Captain seemed so conscious, that Bellair
-never quite dared to observe what happened
-to the food, but he was certain that McArliss did
-not bolt. His suspicion was that he tasted or
-sipped as the case might be, merely spoiling the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span>offering. He was gone before Stackhouse was
-really started.</p>
-
-<p>It was less what the giant ate, than the excessive
-formality and importance of his table sessions
-that prevailed upon the American. Dinner was
-the chief doing of the day. Bellair had never
-complained, even in thought, of the food served
-to him in the usual mess, but with Stackhouse
-everything was extra fine from the Chinese standpoint&mdash;all
-delicacies and turns of the art, all
-choice cuttings and garnishments, a most careful
-consideration of wines&mdash;so that from the first
-audible delectation of the contents of the silver
-tureen, to the choice of a cigar (invariably after
-a few deep inhalations from a cigarette “made in
-Acca by the brisoners”), there was formality and
-deep responsibility upon the ship; and a freedom
-afterward through the galleys that was pleasant
-to regard.</p>
-
-<p>“There are many things in Belgium,” said the
-master. “There are wines and gookeries there;
-also in Poland there are gooks. In England there
-are gooks, but not in Ameriga&mdash;only think-they-are-gooks.
-However, there are gooks in China. I
-have one, as you shall see.”</p>
-
-<p>Something like this at each mighty dining&mdash;and
-the promise had to do with the next course
-which Stackhouse invariably knew and served as
-a surprise for his guest, for he ordered his dinner
-with his coffee and fish in the morning. Bellair
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span>had often seen the Chinese emerge from the galley,
-as they came up from the dining saloon, little
-sparse patches of hair here and there on his fat
-face like willow clumps on the shore, these untouched
-by the razor, though his forehead was
-perfectly shaven to the queue circlet. This was
-Gookery John taking his breath after the moil and
-heat of the day.</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse would declare that he dined just
-once a day, meaning this exactly. He breakfasted
-on a plate of fried fish with many pourings of
-mellow, golden and august German coffee, eating
-the hot fishes in his hands like crackers&mdash;a very
-warm and shiny hand when it was done&mdash;crisp
-brown fishes stripped somehow in his beard, the
-bones tossed overside. He liked full day with
-this meal. The plates were brought hot and covered
-to the great cane chair, until he called for
-them to cease. For his supper he desired outer
-darkness (English ale and apples, black bread
-from Rome that comes sewn in painted canvas
-like hams for the shipping, butter from Belgium
-packed with the care of costly cheeses, of which
-he was connoisseur; sauces of India, a cold chicken,
-perhaps, or terrapin, and an hour or two of nuts).
-The Japanese woman appeared at none of these
-services.</p>
-
-<p>It was the dinners, however, which bewildered
-Bellair most. He had not the heart utterly to
-condemn them, since the <i>Jade</i> and the noble sea-air,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span>
-sometimes winy and sometimes of sterile
-purity, kept him in that fine state of appreciation,
-which if he had ever known as a boy was
-utterly forgotten. He had initiation in curries
-and roasts, piquant relishes of seed and fish and
-flower, chowders, broiled fish and baked&mdash;until
-he felt the seas and continents serving their best,
-and learned about each in the characteristic telling
-of the man who lived for them. For instance
-when chicken was brought:</p>
-
-<p>“These are the birds for the Chinese to play
-with&mdash;yes, you would think me joking? It is not
-so. The little chicken-birds are kept for pets.
-They are not frightened to death. You do not
-know, berhaps, that fear and anger boisons the
-little birds? They are kept happy and killed
-quick&mdash;before they know. Many mornings they
-are fed from the hand and played with, until they
-love John of the gookeries&mdash;and one morning&mdash;so,
-like that&mdash;heads off&mdash;and no boison from the
-fear of death in our flavours. Many things you do
-not know&mdash;yes?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” Bellair said.</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse loved his little facts like these, all
-matters of preparation of fish and flesh and fowl;
-the intricate processes of fattening, curing, softening,
-corking and all the science of the stores....
-“There was a certain goose which I found in
-Hakodate&mdash;not from the Japanese, but from a
-Chino there&mdash;&mdash;”.... “And once upon a time
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span>in Mindanao, they baked a fish for me with heated
-stones in the ground. Wrapped in leaves, it was,
-and covered first in clay. You should see the
-scales and skin come off with the clay&mdash;and the
-inner barts a little ball, when it was finished. And
-the dining of that evening. Ah, the sharb eyes of
-the little nigger girls&mdash;you would believe?”....
-Such were the stories in the long feeding&mdash;but
-the stories on deck were the stories of the death
-of men.</p>
-
-<p>In the usual mess the chat was perfunctory on
-Bellair’s part, since he granted that the preacher
-and the Faraway woman (he called her so in his
-thoughts from her distant-searching on deck)
-were so well adjusted to each other. He granted
-this, and much beside concerning the two, from
-pure fancy. Never once had they disregarded
-him, or engaged in conversation that would leave
-him dangling, though many times his own
-thoughts were apart. The <i>Jade</i> had been three
-weeks out of Savannah, in the southern Caribbean,
-a superb mid-afternoon, when Bellair, turning at
-the rail, found Fleury at his side. He had just
-been wondering if he had better go below and
-read awhile by the open port, or start the monologue
-of Stackhouse for the rest of the day. The
-latter was enjoyable enough, but Bellair disliked
-to drink anything so early.... “One must be
-bolite.”</p>
-
-<p>It happened right for the first conversation with
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span>Fleury. He had never known a preacher whose
-talk touched the core of things. Preachers had
-always shown a softness of training on the actualities,
-and left Bellair sceptical of the rest. A
-minister had once told him: “What force for
-good we get to be in mid-life, is in spite of our
-ecclesiastical training, not because of it.” Bellair
-had often thought of that.</p>
-
-<p>Yet, he had given much secret thought to religious
-things, not counting himself a specialist,
-however, seldom opening the subject. Certainly
-at Lot &amp; Company’s, no one had marked this proclivity.
-He had the idea that a man must come
-up through men, and through the real problems
-of men, if he would become a moving force for
-good in the world; that no training apart among
-texts and tracts and tenets would get him power.
-Very clearly he saw that a man must go apart to
-fix his ideals, but that he should seek his wilderness
-after learning the world, not after prolonged
-second-hand contacts with books.</p>
-
-<p>“The big job ahead is for some one who can
-show the human family that it’s all of a piece,
-and that we’re all out after the same thing,” he
-remarked.</p>
-
-<p>“A Unifier,” Fleury suggested.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. Just so long as we have to hate one cult
-or sect, because we love another, we’re lost to the
-whole beauty of the scheme&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I quite agree with you,” said the preacher.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p>
-<p>“What is your church?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, the fact is, I haven’t one,” Fleury said
-with a smile. “Convictions somewhat similar to
-that which you have expressed have twice cost me
-my church. As the church puts it, I am a failure
-and not to be trusted with regular work&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You are going out in the mission-service?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was now ashamed, because he had held
-the other a bit cheaply. The boyish face looked
-suddenly different to him, as Fleury said:</p>
-
-<p>“No&mdash;that is, I have ceased to expound theology.
-I have come out to make the thought and
-the act one.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was taking on a new conception. His
-question was a trifle automatic:</p>
-
-<p>“Did you talk out in meeting?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. There were a thousand years in the congregation.
-You know what I mean&mdash;only a few
-of our generation in method of mind.”</p>
-
-<p>“A sort of Seventeenth century average?” Bellair
-suggested.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t misunderstand me. I was wrong, too,”
-Fleury declared. “Wrong, in the young man’s
-way of thinking himself right. You know we’re
-just as baneful when we are getting into a new
-world of thought as when we are not yet out of
-the old. It’s only after we have settled down and
-got accustomed to the place, that we’re reasonable.
-A man should be big enough to talk to all men,
-and appear everlastingly true to the least and the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span>greatest. Truth is big enough for that. I had
-only a different trail from theirs, and wanted them
-all to come to mine, forgetting that the trails are
-only far apart at the bottom of the mountain&mdash;that
-they all converge at the top&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You had to be honest with yourself,” Bellair
-said thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s just what I thought, but maybe there
-was a lie in that,” Fleury answered. “It’s not so
-easy to be honest with one’s self and keep on using
-words for a living. The best way is to act&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You’ve said something, Mr. Fleury.”</p>
-
-<p>And in his new respect for the other, Bellair
-wanted to make his view clearer. “It’s the old
-soil and seed story again,” he said. “It isn’t
-enough to get truth down to superb simplicity.
-The minds of men must be open beside. My
-objection to the Church is that it has separated
-religion from work and the week-day&mdash;tried to
-balance one day of sanctimoniousness against six
-days of mammon&mdash;taught men that heaven is to
-be reached in a high spiritual effusion because One
-has died for us. The fact is we’ve got to help
-ourselves to heaven.... Excuse me for being so
-communicative,” he added, “but what you said
-about putting down talk and taking up action
-interested me at once. I’ve a suspicion you won’t
-be long in finding something to do&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m hoping just that.”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury smiled at him. The face was large
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span>and mild, not a fighter’s face nor a coward’s
-either.... The young woman appeared with
-the child. She seemed to hold it to the sun, and
-she walked with the beauty of a woman bringing
-a pitcher to the fountain. Bellair realised the
-heat of the day. Her face had an intense clearness,
-but was partly turned away. There was a
-delicacy about it that he had not known before.
-He recalled that she had just bowed to them....
-They were passing an island shore&mdash;a line of
-sun-dazzle that stung the eyes, empty green hills
-and a fierce white sky. Bellair thought of the
-woman and the island as one ... he, the third,
-coming home, mooring his boat, hastening up the
-trail at evening.... Her frail back, bending a
-little to the right, made him think of a dancer
-he had once seen. He saw the child’s bare limbs
-in the sun.... His steps were quickened up that
-Island trail again.... The <i>Jade</i> seemed fainting
-in the cushions of hot wind. Just then a voice
-said:</p>
-
-<p>“She’s quite the most remarkable woman. She
-isn’t a talker.”</p>
-
-<p>He had forgotten Fleury.</p>
-
-<p>“Where is she going?”</p>
-
-<p>“Auckland. She came from there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Queer, she would go home this way&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Her whole fortune is in her arms,” Fleury
-whispered.</p>
-
-<p>The ship’s bell struck twice; the cane-chair
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span>creaked; they turned by habit to note the appearance
-of the Japanese woman with drink. She did
-not fail. Stackhouse came to with a prolonged
-snore, a sound unlike a pair of pit-terriers at work.</p>
-
-<p>“A considerable brute,” muttered the preacher.</p>
-
-<p>“He has been much of a man in his way,” said
-Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“He talks much&mdash;that is weakness.”</p>
-
-<p>Their eyes met. Bellair began to understand
-how deeply the other’s experience had bitten him.</p>
-
-<p>“He’s afraid of death,” Fleury added.</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder,” Bellair mused. “He talks always
-of death. He’s been in at the deaths of many
-men. He’ll die hard himself&mdash;if he doesn’t tame
-down.”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury added: “When a man is so much an
-animal, all his consciousness is in that. They
-see death as the end&mdash;that’s why they are
-afraid&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if he is a coward?” Bellair questioned.</p>
-
-<p>“The stuff animals are made of cannot last,”
-the preacher concluded.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair pondered as he sat with Stackhouse
-that night. Brandy was the choice of the evening.
-The Japanese woman brought it from the deeps
-of the hold, where it had come in stone from
-Bruges. Bellair joined him a second and a third
-time for the instant stinging zest of the fire....
-Fleury and the woman had long stood together aft
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span>by the clicking log. The moon came late and
-bulbous. Stackhouse talked of his fortune, and
-the chaos in many island affairs his death would
-cause.... Once he had loved a chap named
-Belding, and would have left him great riches,
-but Belding was dead....</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">They had crossed the Line. The night was
-windless hot&mdash;almost suffocating below. Bellair
-gave it up, a little after midnight, and
-went on deck, moving forward out of the smell of
-paint, for the heat had bubbled the lead on the
-cabin planking. A few first magnitude stars
-glinted in the fumy sky. The anchor chains and
-the big hook itself made a radiator not to be
-endured&mdash;better the smell of paint than that.
-Captain McArliss moved past with a cigar and
-suggested jerkily that a hammock was swung aft
-by the binnacle. Bellair thanked him and went
-there, but did not lie down. Close to the rail he
-could smell the deep and it refreshed him. Left
-alone in this hard-won ease, his thoughts turned
-back to New York.</p>
-
-<p>... It was like a ghost at the companionway&mdash;a
-faint grey luminosity. She came toward
-him without a sound, the child in her arms. Something
-of the strangeness prevented him speaking
-until she was near, and then he spoke softly in
-fear lest she be frightened:</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span></p>
-
-<p>“It is I, Bellair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>If she were startled, she did not let him know.
-He offered the deckchair he had occupied, or the
-hammock, as she chose.</p>
-
-<p>“I would not have disturbed you,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“I think it is cooler close to the rail,” he suggested.
-“The little one is very brave. Is he
-awake?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know why I said ‘he,’&mdash;the fact is, I
-didn’t know,” he laughed.</p>
-
-<p>“You were right,” she answered, sitting down.
-“He seems to have so much to study and contemplate.
-It passes the time for him, and then he
-is very well and he likes the sea.”</p>
-
-<p>“He has been to sea before?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, we came up from Auckland on a steamer
-when he was <i>ver-ee</i> little, but he liked it, and did
-so well. It was harder for him in New York,
-although he didn’t complain&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair laughed.</p>
-
-<p>“Now that I have taken your seat&mdash;won’t you
-get another?” she asked. “Or the hammock?”</p>
-
-<p>“If you don’t mind I should be very glad to
-get another chair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair found himself hurrying to the waist, for
-there was always a lesser seat by the great cane
-throne.... He could not see her face in that
-utter night, but sometimes when he had forgotten
-for a moment, there seemed the faintest grey haze
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span>about her face and shoulders, but never when he
-looked sharply; and the curve of her back as her
-body fitted to the child in her lap, hushed him
-queerly within, so that he listened to his own
-commonplace words, as one would hear the remarks
-of another.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you suppose he would come to me?” the
-man asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I think he would be very glad,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair took no risk, but placed his hand softly
-between the little ones. Something went out of
-him, leaving nothing but a queer, joyous vibration
-that held life together, with ample to spare to
-laugh with. The larger part of his identity
-seemed to be infused with the night, however. On
-one side of his hand, there was a warm, light
-seizure, rendering powerless his own little finger,
-and on the other side, his thumb was taken. He
-lifted his hand a little and the captor’s came with
-it&mdash;no waste of energy whatsoever, but with easy
-confidence of having enough and to spare. The
-man couldn’t breathe without laughing, but he
-was very quiet about it as the moment demanded,
-and his delight was nowise to be measured in
-recent history.</p>
-
-<p>He was bending forward close to the woman’s
-breast. Suddenly he remembered her&mdash;as if finding
-himself in a sanctuary.... The great pictures
-of the world had this <i>motif</i>, but the Third
-of the trinity was always invisible. Yet he had
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span>entered in this darkness, come right into the fragrance
-and the love-magnetism of it ... held
-there in two ineffable pressures.</p>
-
-<p>His low laughter ceased. He was full of wonder
-now, but could not stay. Out of the bewilderment
-of emotions he had the one sense&mdash;that he
-was not the third to this mystery&mdash;that the third
-must be invisible, as in the great <i>madonnas</i> of
-paint. He betrayed the tiny grips with a twist,
-caught the child in his two hands and lifted him
-from the mother, sitting back in his own chair....
-But the fragrance lingered about him and
-that wonderful homing vibration. He knew something
-of the nature of it now. It was peace.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">4</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The little blue jacket had come forth again
-as they ran down into the cold.... There
-was wild weather around the Horn, and Stackhouse
-was a sick monster from confinement. Bellair,
-who could drink a little for company through
-the glorious nights on deck, bolted from the cabin
-performance, and Captain McArliss was called
-to listen, and fell, as Stackhouse knew he would,
-for he had said to Bellair during one of their last
-talks:</p>
-
-<p>“Lest there appear among men a perfect sailor,
-they handicapped my McArliss&mdash;packed his inner
-barts in unslaked lime. Never will you see a
-thirst fought as he fights it. First he will drink
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span>with me, and you will hear him laugh; then he
-will drink alone, and there will be silence until he
-begins to scream. Already his eyes are tortured
-and his lips white. Bresently he will come and
-sit with me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair hated this; in fact the big master had
-begun to wear deeply. “I should think you would
-want to keep him on his feet&mdash;for the passage
-around the Horn.”</p>
-
-<p>“My McArliss is always a sailor,” said Stackhouse,
-rocking his head.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair could credit that. McArliss interested
-him&mdash;an abrupt, nervous man, who covered the
-eager warmth of his friendliness in frosted mannerisms
-and sentences clipped at each end. He
-was afraid of himself except in his work, afraid
-of his opinions, though a great reader of the queer
-out of the way good things. Bellair found Woolman’s
-Life in his little library, with narratives of
-the ocean, tales of Blackbirders and famous Indiamen,
-Lytton’s “Strange Story” and “Zanoni,” also
-Hartmann’s “Magic, Black and White.” The
-latter he read, and found it not at all what he
-expected, but a book that would go with him as
-far as he cared at any angle, and then lose him.
-He was quite astonished. It was a long book, too&mdash;the
-kind you vow you will begin again, from
-time to time through the last half. He wanted to
-talk to McArliss about it, but the Captain was
-embarrassed.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span></p>
-<p>“Crazy, eh?” he would say with a queer, dry
-laugh.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve stopped saying that about a book&mdash;because
-I don’t get it all,” Bellair remarked. “This
-man is right as far as I can go with him.”</p>
-
-<p>“You give him the benefit&mdash;eh? That’s pretty
-good.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you like it?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ha&mdash;it passes the time. Good God&mdash;we have
-to pass the time!”</p>
-
-<p>He spoke jerkily, always in this fashion, and
-the days brought no ease to the tension. McArliss
-patted his pockets, swore hastily over little
-things, looked snappily here and there. Bellair
-would have guessed, without the word from Stackhouse.
-The Captain was fighting hard. There
-seemed nothing to be done; the man had grown a
-spiked hedge around an innocent shyness; all that
-was real about him he kept shamefacedly to himself.
-Still Bellair believed more and more in his
-fine quality. McArliss made a picture for him
-of one who has come up through steam and returned
-to canvas bringing a finer appreciation to
-the beauty and possibilities of natural seamanship;
-as a man returns to the land, after many
-wearing years of city life, with a different and
-deeper instinct of the nature of the soil.</p>
-
-<p>“She’s a slashing sailer,” he would say critically,
-as he crowded the <i>Jade</i>. “She balances to
-a hair&mdash;eh? Good old girl&mdash;they don’t breed her
-kind any more.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p>
-
-<p>It was he who balanced her to every wind,
-meeting all weathers with different cuts of cloth.
-Having only a distant familiarity with his fellow-officers
-and not even a speaking acquaintance with
-the crew, McArliss made her sing her racing song
-night and day down into the lower latitudes, until
-one played with the suspicion that he managed
-the weather, too,&mdash;with that same nervous, effective
-energy. It was all tremendously satisfying
-to Bellair. He had reacted on the last reaction,
-and was healed throughout. Worldliness was lost
-from his mental pictures of Bessie; daily she became
-more as he wanted her to be. Lot &amp; Company
-had lost its upstanding and formidable black&mdash;was
-far-off now and dimly pitiable. He had
-not cared what was ahead; it had been the <i>Jade</i>
-and the voyage that had called him, but now the
-Islands and all that watery universe of the Southern
-Pacific were in prospect, to explore and make
-his own. Perhaps men were younger there; trade
-less old and ramified; perhaps they would bring
-him the new magic of life&mdash;so that he could live
-with zest and be himself.... Always at this
-part of the dream he would think of Bessie again.
-She was the cord not yet detached. Sooner or
-later, he must go back to her. At times he thought
-that he could not bear to remain very long; sometimes
-even watching this endless passage of days
-with strange concern.... But there was a short
-cut home&mdash;straight up the Pacific to San Francisco&mdash;and
-four days across....</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p>
-<p>Fleury and the Faraway woman had their increasingly
-fine part in his life. The preacher was
-always finding some new star, or bidding adieu
-to some northern constellation.</p>
-
-<p>They had chosen the passage through the Straits
-because of the settled weather. At least, they
-called it fair-going&mdash;wild and rugged though it
-was, with huge masses of torn cloud, black or
-grey-black, hurtling past, often as low as the
-masthead, and all life managed at sick angles.
-The <i>Jade</i> bowed often and met the screaming
-blasts with her poles strangely bare, except, perhaps,
-for a few feet of extra-heavy canvas straining
-at the mizzen weather-rig.... Stackhouse
-nudged him one night and a laugh gurgled up
-from his chest as he pointed forward where McArliss
-stood in the waist lighting a cigarette.</p>
-
-<p>“He will not sleep to-night. He will come to
-me&mdash;and you will never hear such talk as from
-this silent man. He will look for gompany to-night.
-One must be bolite.”</p>
-
-<p>It was true. McArliss apparently fell into the
-cigarettes first, or perhaps he had fallen deeper.
-Bellair did not join them in the cabin, but heard
-their voices. The next day McArliss hunted him
-up, an inconceivable action. This was not like
-timid Spring, but sudden redolent summer after
-the austerities. The man was on fire, but perfectly
-in hand. All that he had thought and kept
-to himself for months appeared to come forth now&mdash;books<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span>
-and men, the great oceans of spirit and
-matter, and the mysteries of life and release. It
-seemed as if his body and brain had suddenly become
-transparent. The Captain was happy and
-kind, without oath or scandal, full of colour and
-romance; returning with excellent measure all the
-good thoughts that Bellair had given to him, and
-showing forth for one rare forenoon the memorable
-fabric of a man.</p>
-
-<p>There was no repetition to his stages. In the
-afternoon he passed Bellair brusquely, and drank
-the night away with Stackhouse. The next day
-both face and figure had a new burden; the real
-man was now imprisoned more effectively than
-even his sobriety could accomplish.... Then
-the descent day by day&mdash;the narrow, woman’s
-waist and the broad, lean shoulders becoming a
-hunched unit, face averted, hands thick. Bellair
-always felt that Stackhouse was in a way responsible&mdash;for
-the old Master had known what would
-come and lured it on. He had foretold each
-stage&mdash;even to the last of McArliss drinking
-alone.</p>
-
-<p>On two nights Fleury was with him while he
-met his devils. He had outraged Bellair at every
-offer and entrance. Even Stackhouse was surprised
-that the preacher was permitted to attend.
-His poor vitality at length began to crawl back
-into his body with terrible pain and shattered sanity&mdash;that
-old familiar battle, the last of many
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span>storms. And now the <i>Jade</i> was sailing up into the
-summer of the southern ocean. Midwinter in
-New York and here a strange, spacious sort of
-June, not without loneliness and wonderment to
-Bellair for the steady brightness and exceeding
-length of day.</p>
-
-<p>The new moon had come down, extraordinary
-in its earth-shine which Fleury explained. The
-<i>Jade</i> was marking time, just making steerage
-headway, the breeze too light for good breathing....
-To-night (as had happened a dozen times
-before on the other side of South America before
-the cold weather) Stackhouse had begun his story
-with, “It was a night like this&mdash;&mdash;” As of old
-it was the tale of man and death, of the Stackhouse
-escape from death, sinuously impressing the
-Stackhouse courage and cleverness. Not that the
-story was without art; indeed, as usual, it was
-such a one as a man seldom leaves until the end;
-but Bellair had long since reached the moment of
-sufficiency. He had come to the end of his favourite
-author; had begun to see the mechanism
-and inventional methods of the workmanship.
-Vim was lost for the enactment of Stackhouse’s
-fiercer strength. The man was a concentrated
-fume of spirit, every tissue falsely braced, his very
-life identified with the life and heat of decay....</p>
-
-<p>Alone, Bellair glanced about before going below.
-A breeze had slightly quickened the ship
-in the last hour. There may have been a dozen
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span>nights of equal mystery but this he appreciated
-more soundly and was grateful for freedom. His
-mind answered the beauty of it all ... something
-of this, he might be able to tell Bessie in a
-letter. The stars were far and tender; the air
-heavenly cool and soft, the night high, and the
-ship’s full white above, had something to do with
-angels&mdash;a dreamy spirit-haunt about it all. He
-would always see the <i>Jade</i> so, as he would see the
-Captain in that wonderful forenoon of his emancipation&mdash;poor
-McArliss who had not been on
-deck for days.</p>
-
-<p>Twenty minutes later, with paper before him
-in his berth, Bellair was deep in the interpretation
-of his heart, when the <i>Jade</i> struck the cupola of
-a coral castle, and hung there shivering for five
-seconds. It was like a suspension of the law of
-time.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair thought of Bessie, of every one on the
-ship, beginning with Fleury and the New Zealand
-woman, and ending with Captain McArliss and
-the owner’s Japanese wife. These latter two were
-strangely rolled into one, as their images came.
-He thought of the ship’s position somewhere in
-the great emptiness between the Strait of Magellan
-and Polynesia. He re-read the last line of
-the letter before him. It had to do with the real
-help he hoped to be in Bessie’s cause <i>within the
-year</i>. He heard the running and the hard-held
-voices on deck, and one great bellowing cry from
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span>Stackhouse. He knew now that all the tales were
-the low furies of fear; that the movement he had
-seen first in the eyes of the great animal were the
-movements of fear....</p>
-
-<p>And then the <i>Jade</i> slid off the reef with a rip
-more tragic than the strike.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">5</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Hissing and sucking began below, and the
-drawing of the centre of the earth. Bellair
-felt this in his limbs, and the limp paralysis
-of the sails. It was like the blind struggle in the
-soul of a bird, this strain in the entity of the old
-<i>Jade</i> to retain her balance between earth and
-sky.... Bellair was on his knees dragging forth
-his unused case. The roll of New York papers
-came with it, and he stuffed them in overcoat
-pockets with a six-shooter, a bottle of whiskey and
-a few smaller things. These arrangements were
-made altogether without thought. Unfumblingly,
-he obeyed a rush of absurdities that seemed obvious
-and reasonable as in a dream.</p>
-
-<p>The touch of water on his knee as he arose was
-like a burn. It poured in under the door, its
-stream the size of a pencil, a swift and quiet little
-emissary. It occurred&mdash;a queer, rational touch&mdash;that
-the <i>Jade</i> could not be thus filled so soon, that
-something must have overturned. He opened the
-door to the deck. Night and ocean were all one;
-the rest was the stars, and this bit of chaos recoiling<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span>
-from its death&mdash;a little ship, struck from the
-deep and perceiving her death like a rat that has
-been struck by a rattler. He smelled the sea,
-as one in a night-walk smells the earth when passing
-a ravine.</p>
-
-<p>He moved aft toward the voices, without yet
-having thought of his own death. He passed a
-leaking water-cask, and this reminded him of his
-thirst. He took a deep drink&mdash;all he could&mdash;and
-his thoughts came up to the moment. At the
-same time, that which had been a mass of inarticulate
-sounds cleared into a more or less coherent
-intensity of action.</p>
-
-<p>He heard that the <i>Jade</i> was sinking, but knew
-that already; heard that she would be under in
-five minutes, which was news of the first order
-of sensation.... Now he heard Stackhouse
-again; the rich unctuous voice gone, a sharp, dry
-<i>peaking</i> instead.... They were aft at the binnacle&mdash;Stackhouse,
-Fleury, the Faraway Woman,
-McArliss. The Japanese woman was hurrying
-forward with a pitcher of wine. Stackhouse drank
-from the pitcher, standing, and with greed that
-flooded his chest. He spoke and the Japanese
-woman vanished.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair saw the face of McArliss in the white
-ray from the binnacle. He had scarcely seen the
-Captain for a week. Last seen, it was a face
-swollen and flaming red. It was yellow now, like
-the skin of a chicken, and feathered with patches
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span>of white beard. The loose eye-lids were touched
-with blue. He fumbled with a cigarette, and
-called hysterically to an officer amidships. He
-was not broken from the tragedy, but from the
-debauch.</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse was standing by the small boat
-when two sailors came to launch it. He rocked
-from one foot to another and peaked to them incessantly.
-Fleury and the woman stepped nearer
-the boat. They moved together as one person....
-Bellair saw Stackhouse raise his hands as he
-had done that first Sunday, pushing Brooklyn
-from him. His body pressed against the gunwale
-of the small boat; he caught it in his hands, as
-it raised clear, his ridiculous ankles alternately
-lifting.</p>
-
-<p>His Chinese cook rushed forward with cans of
-crackers, and dumped them in the boat. The
-Japanese woman appeared dragging a huge hamper
-of wines and liquors. Stackhouse took the
-hamper between his legs and sent her back to his
-cabin. The boat was lowered just below the level
-of the <i>Jade’s</i> gunwale. Stackhouse sprawled forward,
-the hairy masses of his legs writhing after.
-Presently he reversed, and began to reach for the
-hamper. Fleury kicked it out of reach, and lifted
-the woman and child in.</p>
-
-<p>“Get water,” he said to Bellair. “I’ll save a
-place for you.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair tossed his overcoat into the boat and
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span>darted to the galley, where he found cans. Filling
-them seemed a process interminable, until he
-pulled over the half-filled cask.... Stackhouse
-was screaming for his hamper. The Japanese
-woman sped by with more bottles. She tried to
-put them in the boat, but Fleury took them from
-her, and attempted to force her into a place, but
-she had heard a final command from her lord and
-broke away.... Bellair was filling his cans a
-second time.... Stackhouse, who had risen insanely,
-was rocked back either by word or blow
-from Fleury. The small boat was on the sea, and
-the <i>Jade’s</i> rail leaned low to it. The sea was
-roaring into the mother-boat; she would flurry in
-an instant.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, water, Bellair,” said Fleury. “But don’t
-go back.”</p>
-
-<p>“One more trip,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>He filled the last can&mdash;his mind holding the
-image of Stackhouse on his knees praying to
-Fleury for his hamper. Beseechings back in the
-dark accentuated the picture. Fleury was calling
-for him.... He passed the Japanese woman,
-sobbing and <i>skuffing</i> pitifully back to the cabin;
-as a child sent repeatedly for something hard to
-find. He heard the launching of the other and
-larger boat forward; saw at the binnacle McArliss
-still fumbling for a match. Then Fleury grasped
-him and his can.... No, it was the woman’s
-hand that saved the can from overturning. Bellair<span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span>
-would have waited for the Japanese woman,
-but the <i>Jade</i> dipped half-over and slid him into
-the boat.</p>
-
-<p>The mother-ship shuddered. The Japanese
-woman passed the binnacle, holding something
-high in her hand. She was on her knees....
-There was a flare and the face of McArliss&mdash;who
-had struck his match at last.... The <i>Jade</i>
-seemed to go from them&mdash;a sheet of grey obscured
-the rail. The two who remained were
-netted there together, the red point of the cigarette
-flickered out.... The two boats were on the
-sea; the night, a serenity of starlight.... The
-sound of slobbering turned their eyes to Stackhouse,
-who was drinking from one of the large
-cans.... Fleury went to him, pressed the face
-from it, and placed the cans forward at the feet
-of the woman. His hand was sticky afterward, as
-if with blood, and he held it overside.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105-107]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_FOUR_THE_OPEN_BOAT">PART FOUR<br />
-THE OPEN BOAT</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">B</span>ellair</span> was athirst. The fact that he had
-taken a deep drink less than a half-hour
-before, did not prevail altogether against
-it. In the very presence of Stackhouse
-there was a psychological intensity of thirst. The
-master sat hunched and obscene in the stern of
-the boat, patting the wet folds of his shirt&mdash;a
-pure desire-body, afraid of death, afraid of
-thirst, afraid of the fear of thirst and death.
-Picturesqueness and personality were gone from
-him; romance and the strange culture of the man,
-for the eyes of Bellair; the old wonder, too, which
-the seas and the islands of the seas had given him.
-Bellair could not forget the ankles, the moving
-of those bare masses up and down, as Stackhouse
-had clung at the same time to the small boat and
-the gunwale of the <i>Jade</i>. What a poison to past
-tales&mdash;this present passion and method of self-salvation.<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span>
-He was less than a beast, in retaining
-the effigy of a man.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair turned to Fleury. Like swift pleasant
-rays in the dark, the last scenes of the main-deck
-recurred. Again he marvelled at the falsity of
-his first judgments, by which he had formerly
-set so much, and so complacently. It had seemed
-a fat face to him at first, a face out of true with
-the world, the face of an easy man who placates
-things as they are, because he was not trained to
-see the evil of them and give them fight. All
-that was remembered with difficulty, even for
-this moment of contrast. It would not come
-again. Fleury had stood up in the crisis, a man
-to tie to. He would never be the same again in
-look or action or intonation; as Stackhouse could
-never be the same. Fleury had risen and put
-on a princely dimension; the other had lost even
-that uncertain admirableness of gross animalism.</p>
-
-<p>The preacher was leaning forward toward the
-knees of the woman, talking to the babe. Bellair
-imagined its eyes wide-open and sober; certainly
-it was still. The mother’s face was partly turned
-away. Fleury said:</p>
-
-<p>“He is having his adventures. He will be a
-great man. He will have the world at his finger-tips,
-when he is as old as we are&mdash;and then his
-real work will begin. For when we know enough
-of the world, we turn to God.”</p>
-
-<p>The note of the preacher in this did not embarrass<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span>
-Bellair, as it would have done before the
-<i>Jade’s</i> sinking.</p>
-
-<p>“He will be a great power,” Fleury went on,
-for the heart of the mother. “These things which
-for him pass unconsciously, will form him nevertheless.
-They will do their work within; and
-when he is grown he will know what to do and
-say.”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you know?” the mother asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Chiefly because I believe in you,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“I want him to live,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“We want that, too,” said Fleury.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair felt himself nodding in the dark.</p>
-
-<p>“If he is to be a great man, he will have to live
-through his first&mdash;at least, through this adventure.”</p>
-
-<p>The meaning came very pure to Bellair. It
-had to do with crackers and water for the nourishment
-of the child. So strong and sure was her
-own fortitude that she did not need to say she was
-thinking only of food and drink for him. It
-meant to Bellair, “If I cannot nurse him, he will
-die.”</p>
-
-<p>He regarded the length and beam of the small
-boat. It was not more than eighteen feet long&mdash;and
-only the Polar seas could be emptier than
-this vast southern ocean. The nights would be
-more easily endured, but the days, one long burning.
-Still it would not be torrid heat; they were
-too far south for that. The thought of storm, he
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span>kept in the background of his mind. They all did.
-Roughly estimated, there was food and water
-enough for them to live without great agony for
-a week, possibly for a day or two over, but Stackhouse
-was not a part of this consideration. He
-could not live a week without an abnormal consumption
-of water....</p>
-
-<p>Fleury was talking about the stars. They
-would see Venus before dawn, he said; the great
-one in their meridian now was Jupiter. “If we
-had a marine-glass, we would be able to see his
-moons.... That,” he pointed to the brightest
-of the fixed stars, a splendid yellow gleam in the
-east, “that is Canopus, never seen north of the
-Gulf States at Home. It’s so mighty that our
-little earth would turn molten in ten seconds if
-it came as near as our sun.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair leaned toward him listening. The
-preacher pointed out the Southern Cross, and
-Alpha Centauri, almost the nearest of the sun’s
-neighbours.</p>
-
-<p>Their thoughts groped naturally to such things.
-In the full realisation of their helplessness, they
-looked up. The background was a deep fleckless
-purple. Bellair hadn’t known the great stars of
-the northern skies, much less these splendid
-strangers. The brimming closeness of the dark sea
-harrowed the landsman’s heart of him; and there
-was something as great or greater than the actual
-terror of ultimate submerging. It was the fear
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span>of the fear; the same that causes men to leap from
-high places through the very horror of the thought
-of leaping. The water lapped the clinkered sides
-of the small boat. He touched it. His flesh took
-from the coolness something that numbed the
-pervading alarm; a message which the wet hand
-sensed, but the brain could not interpret. The
-presence of the others forward sustained him;
-Stackhouse in the stern was the downpull; thus
-Bellair was in the balance.</p>
-
-<p>It was yet far from dawn; certainly no lighter,
-but Bellair could see better. The woman was
-looking away. He knew that he would see her
-so, until the last day of her life&mdash;that profile of
-serene control, that calm, far-seeing gaze....
-What gave her this quiet power?... Already
-the thoughts of the three were intimate matters
-to all. It seemed very natural now to ask Fleury
-what gave the woman such strength.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s the sense that all is well, in spite of this
-physical estrangement from the world,” the
-preacher said. “Bellair, it’s the sense that nothing
-matters but the soul. It’s not belief; it’s knowing.
-She has lost the sense of self. <i>She is through
-talking.</i> It is finished with her. We talk, because
-it is not finished in us&mdash;but it is being accomplished.
-We talk because we want that peace;
-when it comes we will not talk, but live it. It is
-exactly opposite to <i>desire</i>; you can see that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Yes, Bellair could see that. He had but to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span>turn back in his seat to confront Stackhouse
-wringing his heavy twitching hands and begging
-for water, begging like a leper, now that a face
-turned to him&mdash;the most frightful picture of the
-work of desire and the fear of desire, that the
-world or the underworld could furnish. Less than
-two hours before he had drunk a quart and wasted
-a pint in his greed; and behind Bellair was the
-silent woman and Fleury, thinking of others, full
-of the good of the world.... In the worldliness
-that came to him from Stackhouse, the intimacy
-of the matter they had just talked about seemed
-startling.</p>
-
-<p>“One can’t help but notice what <i>you get from
-somewhere</i>&mdash;and what the woman has,” Bellair
-added.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They were in the grey mystery of dawn&mdash;alone,
-for they had drifted, and the sailors in
-the other boat had begun to row at once. Stackhouse
-was lifted a little, brought nearer, possibly
-by the tension, which they all came to know so
-well&mdash;the tension of that grey hour, before the
-day reveals the sea.</p>
-
-<p>“It was my ship,” he whimpered. “It was my
-hamber&mdash;McArliss was mine and the service&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You’d have had them all yet, but you amused
-yourself watching poor McArliss fall into the
-drink. You would have had it all&mdash;just the same
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span>this morning&mdash;for he would never have hit the
-reef on duty&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It was Bellair who spoke, and the thing had
-suddenly appeared very clear to him. Stackhouse
-did not falter from the present, his huge
-head darting east and west to stare through the
-whitening film.</p>
-
-<p>“It was my hamber. There is room here at
-my feet. It was little, yet meant so much. I
-should not have troubled you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The lack of it seemed suddenly to hurt him
-even more poignantly.</p>
-
-<p>“You will all go to hell with your talk of
-beace,” he declared, looking between them but
-at no pair of eyes. “I will go first, what with
-the drink dying out, but you will not be long.
-There is hell for me, but for all alike. You may
-live days&mdash;but the longer, the more hell. And
-you will all come at last&mdash;to the long deep drink
-of the brine&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, come now, Stackhouse,” said Bellair. “It
-may not turn out so badly. You’ve had luck before.
-You’ve talked much to me of luck&mdash;and
-deaths of others. If it’s your turn&mdash;face it as
-your innumerable friends faced it.”</p>
-
-<p>The man was undone before them. The flesh
-of his jaws stood out, as if pulled by invisible
-fingers. His heavy lips rubbed together, so that
-they turned from the sight of them.</p>
-
-<p>“There was room in the boat for that basket
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span>of rum,” he called out insanely. “It was all to
-me. There is no talk of God for me&mdash;rum was
-all I had!... I would have been so quiet. It
-would have been here at my feet, but for that
-fool who talks of God, and can never know the
-thirst of men.”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury turned to him, his face deeply troubled.
-It occurred to Bellair that there was something
-to what Stackhouse said. Fleury, in kicking back
-the hamper, had kept the devil of Stackhouse
-from entering the boat, and Stackhouse served
-no other.... More and more it was twisting
-his brain, as young alligators twist at a carcass.</p>
-
-<p>“I would have had it here between my knees.
-And I would have had the little bottle from the
-cabin&mdash;the last that boots you to sleep&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“And so that is what you sent her back for&mdash;sent
-her to her death&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You lie. She was held here&mdash;trying to get
-the hamber to me. There would have been time.
-She would have gone and come. She would have
-been here now&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair and Fleury glanced at each other.</p>
-
-<p>“I am rotted with drink&mdash;and will drink the
-brine first, but you will follow me. You will
-bring it up with your hands and drink&mdash;and
-drink&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He was looking at Fleury now. The intensity
-of thirst in the spectacle of him&mdash;the presence of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span>that vast galvanism of thirst&mdash;was like a burning
-sun in their throats. The baby cried, and the
-mother drew him shudderingly to her breast.
-Fleury swallowed hard, his face haggard and
-drawn in the daybreak. He went over and took
-his seat before the monster. Bellair was tempted
-to ask him to be easy, but there was no need.
-Fleury turned and drew a cup of water and handed
-it to the other. Bellair’s jaws ached cruelly from
-the drain of empty glands.</p>
-
-<p>“We should pity you, Stackhouse,” he said,
-“but we are not facing death now. You fill the
-boat with thirst&mdash;you fill the sea&mdash;with your
-thinking drink and talking drink&mdash;until you bring
-a cry of thirst to the little child. It’s as if we
-had gone sixty hours&mdash;instead of six&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He talked on for the sake of the woman. Stackhouse
-drank and grew silent. Bellair felt better
-and braver&mdash;even though the full light revealed
-nothing but empty sea and heavenly sky.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair surveyed his world as the dawn came up....
-Thirst and fasting; possibly, the end....
-The peculiar part of his open boat contemplations,
-no two were alike. Physical denial
-hurried him from one plane to another from
-which he regarded his world&mdash;his two worlds, for
-Stackhouse behind was one, and his friends forward,
-another; the one drawing his love, courage
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span>and finest ideals; the other, repression of self, lest
-he wear himself out in hatred. They were not
-talkers in front. He had not seen quite the entire
-fulfilment of Fleury’s meaning about talking until
-late moments. The Faraway Woman invariably
-said little; the child was the silentest of all;
-Fleury had met this demon and put it away.
-Stackhouse had talked and talked, and to the
-pictures he made with words, he belonged not
-at all, but to unspeakable things. Bellair remembered
-his own talk to Filbrick. It made him
-writhe. He had become crossed and complicated
-and ineffective that day. He had not talked in
-the straight line of heart and brain. He saw that
-a man who talks that which he is not, is less than
-nothing, as Stackhouse was less than nothing.</p>
-
-<p>“How far are we from anywhere, Bellair?”
-Fleury asked.</p>
-
-<p>“We weren’t supposed to strike land before
-Chatham or Bounty Island&mdash;two days’ sail this
-side of New Zealand, as I understand it. We lost
-land six&mdash;a week ago to-day&mdash;<i>Madre de Dios</i>,
-McArliss called it&mdash;off the west Coast of South
-America. With good wind McArliss planned to
-sight the Islands off New Zealand in three weeks.
-We had a week’s good sailing until yesterday&mdash;so
-we are a fortnight, as the <i>Jade</i> reckoned, from&mdash;<i>your
-home</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair turned to the woman. She did not
-speak.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Do you suppose we struck coral?” Fleury
-asked.</p>
-
-<p>The subject seemed very hopeless. “I saw
-the charts in McArliss’ cabin. No reefs were
-charted according to our passage. We may have
-been off our course. But I do not understand.
-The mate took our bearings yesterday noon. I
-do not know what he reported to the Captain&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It may have been a sunken wreck that we
-struck,” said Fleury.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had thought of that. He turned to
-Stackhouse, who might have had something to
-say, but the other stared at them balefully&mdash;at
-their faces, not meeting their eyes. Either he had
-not followed their words, or chose to take no
-part.</p>
-
-<p>“If we are in the course of any ships at all,
-it would be of one passing our route, from the
-Horn to the Islands,” Fleury added. “I doubt if
-it would do us any good to row. We must not
-tax our strength. If we are off our course, we
-cannot tell whether it is to the north or south,
-so nothing is positively to be gained. It’s a question
-of hands up. The other boat set out for
-somewhere at once. If they find ship they will
-tell the story&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It appeared a useless recounting of obvious
-things. Bellair had thought this out bit by bit
-several times without finding the least substance
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span>to tie to. Fleury’s addition merely accentuated
-the bleakness of their position.</p>
-
-<p>“Still,” the preacher added, “if there is nothing
-for us to do in the way of struggle&mdash;the rest is
-simplified. We may be thoroughly tested, but I
-feel a strange confidence of our ultimate delivery.
-I thought of it before we had parted from the
-<i>Jade</i>. It came to me again in the night. I believe
-it now. We do not belong to the deep&mdash;not
-all of us.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair wondered at the strength which came
-from this. He placed his trust upon this man,
-as one having familiarity with a source which he
-personally did not draw from. The preacher’s
-words were designed to cheer the woman, but he
-could not let them pass as merely for that. Fleury
-had a conviction, or he would not have spoken so.</p>
-
-<p>The air grew cooler during the long closing of
-that first day. Bellair thought of his overcoat
-which lay in a roll under the narrow planking
-forward where the woman sat. The bundle of
-New York papers dropped out, as he drew the
-garment forth. He opened one of the papers
-laughingly.... The headlines were like voices
-from another world. The abyss between the real
-and the unreal yawned before his eyes now in
-the open boat. New York seemed to be fighting
-in prints for things so little and unavailing. So
-little ago, he, Bellair, had moved among them,
-as among things that counted. Now what was
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span>real was the woman’s courage and the substance
-of Fleury’s faith, and the hope that came from
-the immensity. The deep contrasts of life held
-Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>As the message of the press came up to his
-eyes, he sunk into queer apathy, believed himself
-dreaming when he read his own name. He was
-not startled; even that was not his, but an invention
-like the clicking of a watch, which marks off
-an illusion of the illusion time.... An afternoon
-paper, dated the second day after his departure
-from New York; a brief statement of his
-departure with certain funds of Lot &amp; Company;
-one item of a thousand dollars, several others
-suspected missing.... There was a follow story
-in the next day’s issue: Bellair as yet unfound,
-was believed to have gone to the Cobalt; Bessie
-Brealt, a professional singer, had passed an hour
-or two with the missing man on the eve of his
-flight. He had spent money recklessly.... This
-was all.</p>
-
-<p>He dumped the papers overside, and was sorry
-afterward; still, there was not physical energy
-in him to explain, nor comprehension in the other
-two for such details. Lot &amp; Company had sacrificed
-him to ward off disclosures he might make.
-Possibly Attorney Jackson had suggested the step.
-It was very clear. Even if the station-porter had
-not mailed his letter, they would have found his
-order of release in the safe. It was a part of the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span>other world&mdash;proper business from Lot &amp; Company’s
-point of view. He was marked a thief in
-his small circle. He seemed to see the face of
-the boarding-house woman as she heard the news.
-She would search her house.... And Bessie
-Brealt.... The tempter, notoriety, was responsible
-for her small, mean part. It wasn’t an accident.
-She must have looked at his card and told,
-for the reporters would not have come to her....
-It began to hurt him, mainly because of the
-thoughts and dreams of helping her, which had
-come to him since, especially here in the open
-boat. She had fallen into one of the little tricks
-of New York&mdash;to break into print at any cost.
-There wasn’t much reality in the rest, nor much
-chance of his needing New York again.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>... Three and a child in a small boat. The
-pale moon-crescent, her bow to the sinking sun,
-appeared higher in the west. What a cosmic
-intervention&mdash;since last night when he had seen
-her first arc and the earth-shine from the deck of
-the <i>Jade</i>! And what a supper he had gone down
-to afterward! There was wrench in that&mdash;an
-age since then.... No one had spoken for a
-long time. Bellair wondered if the man and
-woman thought of food as he did.</p>
-
-<p>Three and a child in the empty sea, and the
-great suns of night were coming forth in the
-deepening dusk. They were strangers, but more
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span>real than the sea. This was not like the earth
-at all; and yet the <i>Jade</i> had been of the earth.
-Her fabric had contained the bond that held from
-port to port. Stars and sea&mdash;one more real than
-the other, and different, too, for there was horror
-in looking down, but hope in looking up. Something
-in his breast answered the universality&mdash;but
-quailed before the deep.</p>
-
-<p>... Just now Bellair, lifting his overcoat to
-draw it closer around him, sensed its unaccustomed
-weight on the left. His hand sped thither,
-touched the full bottle of Bourbon whiskey purchased
-in Savannah. His hand remained with
-it a moment. A shudder passed through the small
-boat from Stackhouse, who had come to from
-another hideous sleep.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair stared into the sea. No one had spoken
-for many minutes. It was close to noon. Though
-all that had to do with memory since the
-sinking of the <i>Jade</i> was treacherous, according
-to his recounting, it was but the second
-day; that is, the mother-ship had gone down in
-the heart of night before last.... Bellair had
-given away to temptation, when he let his eyes
-sink into the depths. He had fought it for hours,
-and knew that nothing good would come of it,
-but there was so much to fight, he had not the
-further strength for this.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p>
-
-<p>The sea was calm on the surface, but there
-appeared a movement below, so vast and unhurried,
-that it was like some planetary function.
-There seemed a draw of the depths southward,
-an under-movement toward the Pole. At times
-a cloud of purple would rise from far beneath and
-shut off his peering, like the movement of blueing
-in a laundry-tub before it is well-diffused. It
-came to him that this was but a denser cloud-land&mdash;an
-ocean of condensed clouds, moved not
-by winds alone, but the stirring of the earth’s
-mysterious inner attractions, which in their turn
-were determined by the sun and moon and stars.
-It was all orderly, but he, Bellair, was out of
-order. And such a little thing&mdash;a quart of cool
-water, and any one of the thousands of meals
-he had thoughtlessly, gratelessly bought and paid
-for&mdash;thousands consumed with a book at hand, or
-a paper to keep his mind off the perfunctory routine
-of feeding himself. Hundreds of meals he
-had taken, because it was the hour, and a cigar
-was more pleasurable afterward; meals in his
-room&mdash;paper packages of food, pails of ice, chilled
-bottles with a mist forming on them; saloon
-lunches, plates of colored sausages, creamy-rose
-slices of ham, tailored radishes and herring pickled
-in onions.... There was not a fish in the sea,
-not a movement but the blueing, and that slide
-of the under-ocean river to the Pole.</p>
-
-<p>Yet there <i>was</i> something in there&mdash;an end to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span>this disorder. It would take all he had left&mdash;the
-good air. It was like a knife or a gun or a poison-pill....
-The movement below was so strong
-that it would grip him, shut him from the air,
-and leave him slithering along toward the Pole,
-sometimes sinking sideways, and then rising, forever
-seeking his balance ... not forever. He
-pictured himself in a school of herring, thousands
-of bright lidless eyes, thousands of bubbles, like
-eyes, from their mouths opening and shutting&mdash;he
-slithering sideways&mdash;his hands moving in the
-tugs and pressures. They would cease to dart
-from his movements, understanding them as the
-ground-birds know the wind in the grass. Lips
-and eye-lids and nostrils&mdash;they would have food.
-Food was the great event of the day to all things&mdash;except
-men. Men ate by the clock, ate to
-smoke, ate to soften the hearts of women ...
-yet after all food was food.... Or one big fish....
-Or two fighting for him.... Or one finding
-him lying still, a slow fanning of fins against
-the purple pressures, watching to be sure&mdash;then
-the strike.... Once he had examined a minnow
-after the strike of a bass.... Where would <i>he</i>
-be in that strike&mdash;or in that herring school-room&mdash;not
-that slithering sideways thing&mdash;but <i>he</i>?
-Would he be watching humorously, or back in
-the cage with Mr. Sproxley, or in Bessie’s bedroom?
-Was it all a myth about that other <i>he</i>?
-It seemed a myth with his stomach sinking, tightening<span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span>
-like a dripping rag between a pair of mighty
-elbows. In the centre of the rag was a compressed
-cork, and in the cork, a screw was twisting.</p>
-
-<p>Cork&mdash;that made him think of the whiskey. He
-turned from the water to the coat under the seat,
-his eyes blinking. His bare foot moved painfully
-to the coat and along the breast to the
-pocket, to the hard hump of the bottle.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes suddenly filled with the figure of
-Stackhouse, whose attitudes were an endless series
-of death tableaus, as his stories had also pictured.
-His face had broken out into more beard, his eyes
-glazed, body shapeless, like clothing stuffed with
-hair. His hands held the primal significance of
-birth and death. They lay upon his limbs, the
-thumbs drawn into the palms, the first and little
-fingers of each pointing straight down. Bellair
-thought of how death contracts the thumb, and
-how infants come with their thumbs in-drawn.</p>
-
-<p>Also his mind was played upon by two distinct
-series of emotions&mdash;Stackhouse representing
-one set; Fleury and the Faraway Woman signifying
-the other. He swung from power to power.
-Then his concern and fascination for Stackhouse
-changed from loathing and the visible tragedy, to
-a queer passage of conjecture regarding the worldwide
-processes which had nourished that huge body
-to its fall. In fact, Bellair’s favourite restaurants
-returned to mind like a pageant; the little inns
-on the Sound that he used to go summer Saturday
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span>afternoons; the one place in Staten where there
-were corn-cakes and a view of the shipping; the
-myriad eating and drinking places of New York;
-and from them all, one shop of chop and chicken-broils
-where the miracles were done on wood-embers,
-so that even the smoke that filled the
-place was seasoned nutriment.</p>
-
-<p>“They certainly knew how to buy,” he muttered
-aloud.</p>
-
-<p>It was a kind of moan, and he added quickly:
-“I beg your pardon.”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury and the woman regarded him with silent
-kindness.</p>
-
-<p>“I was just thinking of a man I knew&mdash;a buyer
-of canned goods,” he explained hastily. “The
-bargains in canned-goods he had a way of pulling
-off! There wasn’t a man in New York who could
-bring in lines of stuff at the figure he copped&mdash;a
-little runt of a man named Blath, who knew his
-business&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury leaned back as if reaching for support,
-his quiet smile not a little tender. His two
-browned hands came forward to Bellair’s knees,
-and he said with a devoted smile:</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll not forget that in a hurry.... Blath,
-you say his name was?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair knew well that he had not kept his
-mental pictures from Fleury’s mind. His entire
-consciousness had been in steam and woodsmoke
-having to do with broiling meat. The three were
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span>worn thin, worn to fine receptivity, and caught
-one-another’s thought without effort of many
-words.... Though he did not turn, a shock of
-pity came to him now for the master. He had
-meant to save the opening of the whiskey for
-the next dawn, vaguely thinking that if they
-should find the sea empty once more, there would
-be that false strength to fall back upon. Stackhouse
-could not live more than a day or two
-longer. He was torn by devils, his only surcease
-being the snap of consciousness from time to time.
-The whiskey had been upon Bellair’s mind like
-a curse. He wanted its force for himself, but
-never really meant to use it, had not even given
-the temptation leeway. His lot was cast with
-the forward forces; they would not have touched
-the contents of his bottle. This did not change
-the desire, however.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">4</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The third day. Bellair was light-headed from
-the scarcity of crackers. Yesterday had been
-a mingled thirst and hunger day, but this was
-characterised by hunger incessant. To-morrow he
-anticipated with dread another thirst horror, and
-after that, no hunger at all, but mighty agony
-that knew but the one word, <i>Water</i>. The keen
-airs of night and morning, and the sterilised burning
-of the noons, constantly fanned and stimulated
-the natural demands of the body.... He had
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span>forgotten the newspapers. Bessie’s face came before
-him&mdash;something of her deep heart-touching
-tones which changed him.</p>
-
-<p>“There must be a great woman there&mdash;a great
-fine woman&mdash;like this one.”</p>
-
-<p>He did not turn. It may have been the first
-concession from his every-day faculties of this
-woman’s actual beauty. He had already granted
-this deeper within, where the understandings of
-men are wiser, but harder to get at. Certain hours
-had shown him the clear quality of saints and
-martyrs; and he had seen in pure life-equation
-that the child was worth his life or Fleury’s.
-He would have given his, as most white men
-would, but it was different to see the value and
-rightness of it....</p>
-
-<p>There was now an unspeakable need in the
-stern. He drew the bottle from the overcoat-pocket
-at his feet, without turning. Fleury and
-the woman watched him. He cut the small wires
-with his knife, tore off the wafer, half-expectant
-of some sound from behind.... The day was
-ending. The young moon newly visible in the
-dusk began its curve into the west from a higher
-point in the sky....</p>
-
-<p>There was a screw in Bellair’s knife. It sank
-noiselessly into the cork, but the first creak of the
-stopper against the glass brought the jolt. They
-all felt it&mdash;as if the great body had fallen from a
-dream.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse was staring at the thing in Bellair’s
-hands, his tongue visible, his face filling
-with light. He rubbed his eyes, the beginnings
-of articulation deep in his throat. He was trying
-to make himself believe it was not a vision. That
-harrowed them. A pirate would have pitied him&mdash;reptile
-desire imaged not in the face alone, but
-in the hands and all. Bellair poured a big drink
-in a tin-cup. Fleury passed him a gill of water.
-Stackhouse drained the cup with a cry.</p>
-
-<p>Something earth-bound slowly left his face.
-In contrast it grew mild and reckonable; but within
-an hour he was wild with pain, and dangerous
-for night was falling. In the light of the moon
-there was treachery. Bellair and Fleury sat together
-in the centre. The other’s bulk was great
-and the boat small. In becoming custodian of
-a bottle of whiskey, Bellair now required help.
-He wished it in the sea, but there was a pang of
-cruelty about that. The new force that animated
-Stackhouse had to be reckoned with. It was both
-cunning and destructive. There was no murder
-in their hearts.... Stackhouse drew his feet
-under him, helping them with his hands; his eyeballs
-turned upward from the agony of cramps
-in his limbs; then he sank forward on his knees.
-The craft of desire had turned from fighting to
-speech. The moon was grey upon his breast
-and gleamed from his eyes.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You will listen to a man who is dying. Yes,
-Bellair, you will listen&mdash;who listened to me so
-much.... Give me drink, so I can talk&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It may save you&mdash;but not if you take it all
-at once.”</p>
-
-<p>The creature winced, but his passion moved to
-its appointed ends. He drew forth the large
-brown wallet they had often seen; rubbed it in
-his hands, until his fingers could feel; then opened
-the leather band. From one receptacle he lifted
-a thick package of bank-notes.</p>
-
-<p>“I liked you, Bellair&mdash;almost as I liked one
-Belding. I could have done much for you. I
-hate <i>that</i> man, for he has made my death
-hard&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>His face turned toward Fleury, but did not
-meet the preacher’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“The <i>Jade</i> brought a sweet cargo to Ameriga,
-and Stackhouse does not bank in New York....
-Bellair, I want to drink&mdash;so the talk will
-come&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>So absurd was the sound of cargo and banking
-that Bellair thought his mind had wandered again,
-yet he said:</p>
-
-<p>“You are better. You cannot drink each hour.
-If this is to help you, you must be sane.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have something to say of imbortance&mdash;you
-will help me, Bellair. It is for you.”</p>
-
-<p>The faces of Fleury and the mother gave him
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span>no help. They were kind, but the thing seemed
-beneath them, as if they were waiting for him
-to come back from it.</p>
-
-<p>“You have stood by that man, and not by me,”
-Stackhouse said hoarsely. “So that I meant to
-toss this in the sea at the last&mdash;this and all the
-papers&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He lifted the bank-notes and showed him the
-collection of separately-banded documents.</p>
-
-<p>“I am a rich man, and I have no heir. I had
-thought of you, but you turned away from me
-and did not continue to listen. You went to him
-of the breachings&mdash;but you have now what is
-needful for me and I will bay. I have no heir.
-I said that before. I dell you now. A dying
-man does not lie. There are papers to make you
-rich, for I have other fortunes. Look, I will toss
-it into the sea&mdash;if you do not give me that
-bottle&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair laughed at him.</p>
-
-<p>“These are thousand dollar notes&mdash;there are
-fifty of them&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair turned aside for an instant. Money and
-papers of more money&mdash;these were very far from
-fanning excitement in his breast. A loaf and a
-jug of fresh water were real; the moon’s higher
-appearance each night, and the majestic plan of
-the night-suns, these were real. Fleury, the
-woman and the babe, lost in the brimming darkness
-of earth’s ocean&mdash;they were real. Like the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span>stars they had to do with the mighty Conceiver
-of it all. They were a part of the Conception&mdash;and
-so they were real&mdash;but the dollars of
-men....</p>
-
-<p>“And do you know what I will do&mdash;after I
-have tossed this into the sea?”</p>
-
-<p>The question brought him back quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“No, Stackhouse,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“I will come for you and dake that bottle. I
-am big. I have strength. I will dake it&mdash;or you
-will kill me&mdash;and that will be the end&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair thought of that. There was a pistol
-in his coat. He did not want to use it. He believed
-Stackhouse would do as he said.</p>
-
-<p>“For God’s sake, Bellair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“If I give it to you&mdash;oh, not for that rubbish!”
-he pointed to the wallet. “If I give it to you&mdash;you
-will die more quickly&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That is what I want.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it is not our way&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse tore loose from his shirtpocket the
-heavy gold watch and its heavier chain, dropped
-the whole into one of the folds of the wallet to
-weight it down. “It will sink,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“To hell with it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“For God’s sake, Bellair!” Stackhouse moaned,
-his arm rising with the wallet and falling again.</p>
-
-<p>At that instant Bellair thought of Bessie Brealt
-and her career.... He turned to Fleury and
-the Mother. They were regarding him with kindest<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span>
-concern&mdash;as if he were a loved one who could
-not fail to do well in any event. Then he thought
-of the work that Fleury might do&mdash;the preacher
-who had finished with talk, and was so eager to
-act.... And just then, the little child turned
-to him from the mother’s breast&mdash;a puzzled look,
-but calm, and a flicker of the damp upper lip, as
-if it would like to smile, but was not sure.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair held out the whiskey. The wallet was
-thrust in his hands for reception of the bottle&mdash;a
-frenzied transaction.</p>
-
-<p>They begged him to spare it for his own peace.
-They gave him water, but poor Stackhouse could
-not live with the stuff in his hands. In fifteen
-minutes the bottle was drained, and then the
-monster wept.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">5</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The night roved on like a night in still mountains.
-The young moon had sunk behind the
-sea. Jupiter in meridian glory seemed trying
-to bring his white fire to the dying red of Antares....
-A dark night of stars now, since the upstart
-moon had left the deeper purple. Most of
-all, Bellair was fascinated by the great yellow
-gleam of Canopus. It was a dry, pure dark&mdash;no
-drip in that night&mdash;but a thirsty horror in the
-saline lapping of the ocean against the planks.</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse was headless in the shadow, his piglike
-breathing a part of all. Fleury, the mother
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span>and the child slept; the preacher’s head close to
-the knees of the woman. Bellair marked that, and
-that Fleury loved her. At times the preacher’s
-whole life seemed an effort to make her eat and
-drink; and as for Fleury himself it often appeared
-that he required no better nutriment than
-that of conferring food and water upon the others.
-As custodian, he claimed authority for his action....
-Bellair thought long of Bessie. He was
-watching the east at last for Venus to arise ahead
-of the sun....</p>
-
-<p>... But Bessie became blurred. He did not
-understand. Either his brain had another picture,
-or the original of the singing girl was fading....
-A New York voice, no passion, but ambition,
-an excellent voice&mdash;and such a beautiful,
-girlish breast.... Bellair tried to shake this
-coldness from him. This was not being true. He
-had a faint suspicion that a man’s woman is more
-apt to depart from him while he is at her side
-than when he is away. It is because another has
-come, if passion for the old dies, when one is
-away. Alone and apart, man is more ardent, in
-fact, unless a new picture composes.... He
-thought of Davy Acton, the office boy at Lot &amp;
-Company’s, that wistful, sincere face&mdash;and then
-Bellair gave way to the night.</p>
-
-<p>This was a new sensation. It came from the
-hunger and thirst. He could <i>let go</i>. The purple
-immensity would then take him. A half-hour,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span>even an hour, would pass. It was not sleep, very
-different from that. He was not altogether lost.
-A little drum-beat would come back to him from
-the mighty revery-space, and his heart would answer
-the beat. He seemed to be on the borderland
-of the Ultimate Secret; and invariably afterward
-he was amazed at what he had been&mdash;so sordid
-and sunken and depraved was the recent life he
-had known.</p>
-
-<p>“But I was what the days and years seemed to
-want of me,” he muttered.</p>
-
-<p>That was the gall of it. Days and years are
-betrayers; all the activities of the world are betrayers.
-He glimpsed the great patience of the
-scheme. Only man makes haste. Myriad pressures,
-subtle and still-voiced, tighten upon a man,
-bringing just the suggestion that all is not well
-with him. Then there are the more obvious pressures&mdash;fever,
-desire, the death of a man’s loves&mdash;to
-make him stop and look and listen. But so
-seldom does he relate these to the restlessness of
-his soul. Rather he attributes them to the general
-misery of life. He has been taught to do so&mdash;the
-false teaching.... For general misery is not
-the plan of life. If <i>children</i> could only be taught
-that it is all superbly balanced, the plan perfect;
-that not a momentary stress of suffering comes
-undeserved; that the burden of all suffering is
-to make a man change!... A sentence came so
-clearly to him that even his lips formed it.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span></p>
-
-<p>“The plan of life is for joy!”</p>
-
-<p>He saw the need of every hundredth man at
-least, arising to repeat this sentence around the
-world&mdash;arising from his pain and husks like the
-Younger Son, and returning to the joy of the
-Father’s House.... Something was singing in
-him from his thought of <i>children</i>.</p>
-
-<p>“We’re too old,” he thought, meaning the millions
-of men caught in the world as he had been,
-“but the children could learn. They could
-change&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He had turned to the bow. Fleury was a
-nearer shadow, sitting, head bowed forward. The
-Mother’s head lay back against Bellair’s coat, the
-child across her knees.... That faint grey light
-was about her. He had not noted this at first;
-it seemed to have come from the moment of contemplation&mdash;something
-like starlight, something
-like the earth-shine that Fleury explained. Her
-lips were parted, and her eyes seemed held shut,
-not as if she slept but as if she were thinking of
-something dear to her&mdash;her face wasted a little.</p>
-
-<p>He saw it more clearly than the faintness of
-the light would suggest&mdash;and to Bellair’s breast
-came a sudden sense of her expectancy. It seemed
-she were awake, but lying back with eyes shut
-awaiting a lover, her face wasted a little from
-the burning of expectation. For a moment it was
-very beautiful to him. Then all was spoiled&mdash;for
-the personal entered. Almost before he had
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span>any volition in the matter, his mind had flashed
-across the interval of space between them&mdash;as if
-he were the one to bring that token to the parted
-lips.</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head with impatience, and the
-miseries of the hour rushed home to his mind.</p>
-
-<p>... Fleury was awake and they were whispering,
-the woman still asleep.</p>
-
-<p>“The plan of the world is for joy,” Bellair
-said wearily. “We are all taught that it is a
-vale of tears&mdash;that’s the trouble&mdash;taught that we
-must grab what we can.”</p>
-
-<p>“If we won’t learn from joy&mdash;we’ve got to
-take the pain,” said the preacher. “We’ve got
-to get out of the conception of time and space as
-the world sees it to catch a glimpse of the joy
-of the plan. We are in the midst of a superb
-puzzle. To those who see only the matter and
-not the meaning, life is an evil country, a country
-of dragons and monsters. But there’s a soul to
-it all, and man has a soul. If a man begins to
-use his soul to see and think with, the puzzle begins
-to unfold. A man’s soul isn’t of matter. It’s
-a pilgrim come far, far to go&mdash;very eager
-to get this particular journey through matter
-ended&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But why make the journey?”</p>
-
-<p>“To learn evil.”</p>
-
-<p>“The Younger Son wasted himself afield&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Was he not placed afterward above the elder
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span>in the Father’s heart?” Fleury asked. “Could he
-not appreciate the Father’s House better than him
-who had not left it? Man is greater than angels&mdash;that’s
-hinted at everywhere in the Scriptures.
-Angels are unalloyed good. The man who has
-mastered matter becomes a creative force. All the
-great stories of the world tell the same story&mdash;the
-wanderings of Ulysses, the tasks of Hercules. The
-soul’s mastery of each task and escape from each
-peril and illusion is an added lesson&mdash;finally the
-puzzle breaks open. The adventurer sees the long
-journey of the soul, not this little earth-crossing.
-He sees that his misery now is but a dip of the
-valley&mdash;that the long way is a steadily rising
-road&mdash;that the plan <i>is</i> for joy.”</p>
-
-<p>It came home to him closer than ever before
-that night. His soul had tried to express itself
-and ordain his higher ways these many years, but
-he had lost his way in the world. He perceived
-that all men lose their way; that he had suddenly
-been shaken apart so he could see. It was luck
-in his case&mdash;the misery at Lot &amp; Company’s, the
-singing of Bessie Brealt, the unparalleled contrasts
-here in the open boat. But why should he be
-shown, and not the millions of other imprisoned
-men? Was this a part of the great patience of
-the scheme again? Would something happen to
-each man in due season, some force in good time
-to help him to rise and be free?</p>
-
-<p>“The man who ties himself to the pilgrim&mdash;and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span>
-not the sick little chattering world creature&mdash;suddenly
-finds that he has but one job,” Fleury
-said presently. “He’s got to tell about it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The world suddenly smote Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, men would say a man was crazy if he
-told the things we have thought this night,” he
-said, leaning forward. “Maybe we are a bit unsound.
-Perhaps these are illusions we are harbouring&mdash;vagaries
-from drying up and wasting
-away, similar to the vagaries of alcohol&mdash;doubtless&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>It was like waking from a dream&mdash;the horrible
-sounds now from the stern. Bellair heard Fleury’s
-voice. Turning, he saw Venus before anything
-else. It was the thought that he had fallen into
-the revery with, and had to be finished on the
-way out.</p>
-
-<p>Under that superb vision of morning, Stackhouse
-was kneeling, his breast against the rail,&mdash;bringing
-up to his mouth great palm-fuls of
-brine.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">6</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The things that happened in the open boat
-on this fourth day are not altogether to be explained.
-A metaphysician from the East explained
-a similar visitation&mdash;but like many
-explanations of the East, the foundations of his
-discussion were off the ground. He did not begin
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span>with stuff that weighs-up avoirdupois. The West
-can weigh the moon and estimate the bulk of
-Antares’ occulted companion, but in cases where
-<i>things</i> cease to be weighable, our side of the world
-sits back with the remark, “It is well enough to
-hypothecate the immaterial, but what’s the good
-of it when you can’t see it?” Also when the East
-gently suggests an opinion, the West rises to declare,
-“Why, you people haven’t got gas or running
-water in your houses.”</p>
-
-<p>Now occasionally there comes a time when the
-Western eye sees something that it can’t touch
-or smell exactly, and it is easier to disbelieve its
-own senses than to change its point of view for
-an Eastern one. Accordingly it says, “I was
-crazy with the heat,” or as Bellair was prone to
-explain away the visitation of this day, “The
-thirst and the hunger had got to me.”</p>
-
-<p>There follows, without further peroration, an
-unheated narrative of what <i>appeared</i> to take place
-on that fourth day:</p>
-
-<p>As was expected from drinking the brine, Stackhouse
-went mad. The look of the great creature,
-his very identity, changed, went out from him,
-and something else came in. This happens when a
-dog goes mad. We have had to reckon with it
-in our own families. If that which we knew
-passes, without something foreign taking its place,
-the result would be a mere inert mass waiting
-for death. The alienists have given us the word
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span><i>obsession</i> to explain that which comes instead,
-making an obscenity and violence of that which
-we knew. In the olden days these Enterers were
-known as demons. A man named Legion was
-beset with them, and Another with a strong will
-came and, according to the story, freed Legion.
-That which had defiled him entered a herd of
-swine, the bars of which were somehow down at
-the time....</p>
-
-<p>They had ceased to hate Stackhouse. The old
-Master was gone into who knows what long feeding
-dream? This was merely his body that they
-watched for an hour or two in the forenoon. In
-fact, Bellair had studied the departure with some
-detachment. He was sitting as usual in the centre
-of the boat, glad that the Stackhouse agony was
-done. There was a moment in which it appeared
-that death was stealing in rapidly, and another
-in which a new kind of life entered the body&mdash;as
-vandals enter to despoil a house after the tenant
-has moved away.</p>
-
-<p>The hunched body had suddenly reached for
-him like a great ape. Bellair had felt the crippling
-force of the touch, and an almost equal
-force from the thought that flashed in his mind&mdash;to
-use the pistol.... The boat had rocked beneath
-them. The blackness of much blood was
-in Bellair’s brain. The struggle was brief.
-Through it all, Bellair heard the cries of the child.
-Just as he was ready to fail, the monster sat back,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span>his teeth snapping in his beard&mdash;the huge hands
-feeling for him, as one blinded.</p>
-
-<p>“Change places with me, Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p>This was from Fleury&mdash;midforenoon that
-fourth day. Bellair obeyed because he was afraid
-of the pistol at hand.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t want to kill him,” he panted.</p>
-
-<p>“It will not come to that,” Fleury answered.</p>
-
-<p>It was then that the transfer of seats was made.
-Bellair relied vaguely upon the preacher’s greater
-strength which was not of limb and shoulder.
-The monster dropped to his knees to renew the
-fight.</p>
-
-<p>“Be still,” Fleury commanded. “Be still and
-rest&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Stackhouse himself would not have faltered before
-that voice of Fleury’s, but there was a force
-in it that prevailed for a moment upon the obsession.
-The air was full of strain.... They
-heard the heart in the poor body. The blue-tipped
-hands were upraised from the bottom of the boat&mdash;the
-face was toward them. Bellair and the
-Faraway Woman could see only the back of
-Fleury’s head. The strain was like a vice in the
-open boat.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair contemplated the mystery: that this
-force, lower and more destructive than Stackhouse,
-could be managed and subdued in part by the
-energy of another’s will-power, when Stackhouse
-himself would have required brute strength....<span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span>
-He thought he understood what was going
-on, though he would likely have scouted the same
-had some one told him. In any event, Fleury
-was quieting the complicated thing before him....
-They heard the heart-beats rise and sink,
-the hands often lifting from the bottom. The
-entire passage of the battle was magnified before
-their eyes. Hours passed. Fleury scarcely
-turned.</p>
-
-<p>So far there is nothing to call in the Eastern
-metaphysicians, but the day was not done, nor
-the dying galvanism of the monster. The afternoon
-was still bright, when the great hairy head
-cocked itself up differently&mdash;the eyes stretching
-open and suddenly filled with yellow-green light,
-the colour of squash-pulp close to the rind, but a
-transparent light, that gathered the rays of the
-day in its expiring lucency, and held their own
-eyes&mdash;a lidless horror lifted from its belly. The
-woman must have seen the change at the same
-instant, for her cry blended with the voice of
-Bellair. As one, they understood that this was
-a different force for Fleury to meet&mdash;a wiser, more
-ancient and terrific force, from the bowels of the
-world of evil possibly, without relation to Stackhouse,
-but with a very thrilling relation to them.</p>
-
-<p>The whole face had a different look. It was
-rising higher. The hands were braced upon the
-grating, pushing the body up. They were accustomed
-to the loosed havoc of bestiality which
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span>Stackhouse had left upon his features&mdash;but this
-that looked out from his eyes was knit and intent.</p>
-
-<p>Fleury’s hand groped back.</p>
-
-<p>“It will not answer me,” he was saying. “This
-is different. It will not obey me. Take my hand,
-Bellair.... Yes, and take hers with the other.
-We must drive it out.”</p>
-
-<p>Weariness more than death was in the speech.
-He had struggled for hours. It was the voice of
-a man who had fought to his soul’s end. Bellair
-held his hand and the woman’s, but felt himself
-the betrayer. This had come <i>for him</i>! He was
-the prophet lying still while the sailors deliberated.
-They must cast him into the sea, before
-this thing could be willed into quiescence. Concentration
-on his part was broken by this conviction.</p>
-
-<p>The body of Stackhouse was lifted to its knees&mdash;the
-different face looking out of the eyes. They
-sat before it like terrified children; the eyes found
-them one after another, steadily, with unearthly
-frigid humour, like some creative force of evil,
-integrated of the ages, charged with intrepid will,
-a ruling visitant that would tarry but an instant
-for the climax.</p>
-
-<p>It was not human, save in the shape and feature
-for their recognition; its difference from the
-human was its frank knowing destructiveness.
-Humanity is mainly unconscious of the processes
-of evil; <i>this had chosen</i>. This was of the pull
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span>of the earth, and knew its power. It seemed
-known to Bellair as if from some ancient meeting.
-He could never have remembered, however,
-without this return. It was devoid of sex,
-which seemed to bring to him some old deep
-problem that took its place with his ineffable
-fear of the presence.</p>
-
-<p>So Bellair sat between them, holding their
-hands, but powerless to help.... It was higher,
-looking out of the eyes of the body, in strange solution
-with the fallen humanity of the face they
-knew. And Bellair knew <i>he</i> was responsible.</p>
-
-<p>“You must depart. You do not belong here,”
-a voice said. Bellair could not tell if it were
-Fleury’s or the woman’s or his own. It may have
-been merely a thought.</p>
-
-<p>The thing had uprisen now. It lurched in the
-sway of the boat. Fleury and he were standing
-to meet the body that hurled itself forward....
-Water dashed over them. They were beneath the
-monster. Bellair felt more than the crush of the
-weight of flesh, a force kindred to electricity, but
-not electric, a smothering defiling dynamics, that
-despoiled him by the low, cold depth of its vibration,
-rather than by the fierce fury of it. Then
-he thought of the woman’s child. It came to him
-like a pure gleam. The child must live. The
-thought was very real, out of the self, but not <i>for</i>
-self.... It seemed that he heard the heart of
-Stackhouse break, and the demon hiss away.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span></p>
-<p>Bellair looked up from the bottom of the boat.
-The woman’s face was very close, his face between
-her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“... Yes, come back to us!” she was saying.
-“Oh, we could not live without you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It did not seem real to him for a moment. He
-turned from her merciful eyes. Fleury was sitting
-there in the centre, holding the child with
-hands that trembled. The boat rode lightly,
-though water lay in the bottom. He turned farther.
-Yes, the seat in the stern was empty.</p>
-
-<p>“He is dead?” Bellair whispered.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p>“And we did not kill him,” Fleury added.</p>
-
-<p>“But how did he get overside?”</p>
-
-<p>“You helped,” they told him.</p>
-
-<p>He did not remember. “And the child?”</p>
-
-<p>“The little Gleam is all right. All is well with
-us, Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p>Something of the encounter returned now. “I
-do not belong here with you,” he said. “The
-thing&mdash;at the last&mdash;came for me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Then he realised how absurd this would sound&mdash;as
-if some ogre had come. Yet they understood.</p>
-
-<p>“I thought it had come for me,” the woman answered
-quietly. “I said that, and <i>he</i>&mdash;&mdash;”she
-turned with a smile to the preacher,“&mdash;and he
-said the same&mdash;that it had come for him. We
-will forget that. Something freed us&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span></p>
-<p>Bellair turned to the child.</p>
-
-<p>“It was the little Gleam who freed us,” Fleury
-said.</p>
-
-<p>“How did you get that name?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“You said it.”</p>
-
-<p>“How long have I been lying here?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ten minutes.”</p>
-
-<p>He rested a moment longer.... The woman
-was sane, the child unhurt. Stackhouse was dead,
-and they had not murdered him. It was the
-fourth sunset.... Bellair sat up and turned his
-eyes to the sea.</p>
-
-<p>The great body was near. It would not sink.
-They tried to row, but were too weak to pull
-far. The calm sea would not cover it from their
-eyes.... Even the birds did not come to it,
-and there was no tugging from the deep.</p>
-
-<p>The terrible battle of the day had left them
-whimpering&mdash;drained men, in the pervading calm
-of the sea, under the dry cloudless heat and light
-of the sky. Fleury and Bellair looked at each
-other and their eyes said: “We did not murder
-him.” They looked again and found the woman
-saner than they. They turned over her shoulder
-to the blotch upon the sea. It floated high, drifted
-with them. They could not speak connectedly,
-but longed for the night.... At last, they heard
-her voice:</p>
-
-<p>“It is very great to me to know that there are
-such men in the world. As a little girl in New
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span>Zealand I used to picture such heroes&mdash;such brothers
-and heroes. I came to doubt it afterward, and
-that was evil in me. I see now that the dream
-was true&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>They listened like two little boys.</p>
-
-<p>“See, the cool is coming!” she added. “The
-child is glad, too. To-night, we will talk!”</p>
-
-<p>“You will tell us a story?” Fleury said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, when it is darker. It is all so safe and
-quiet now. We are all one.”</p>
-
-<p>That meant something to Bellair. Later when
-it was dark, and they had supped, he said:</p>
-
-<p>“It’s good&mdash;the way you count me in, but you
-shouldn’t. I don’t belong, much as I’d like to. I
-misjudged you at first. I misjudged Fleury&mdash;and
-him&mdash;&mdash;” he pointed over her shoulder to
-the sea.</p>
-
-<p>“It will be gone in the morning,” she whispered,
-patting his hand. “We are three&mdash;and the
-child.”</p>
-
-<p>“Three, and God bless you,” said Fleury.
-“Three and the little Gleam&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“The Gleam,” the woman repeated, holding the
-child closer. “I love that.”</p>
-
-<p>“We are three and we follow the Gleam.”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">7</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Fleury took the child. The Faraway Woman sat
-straight in her seat, so that Bellair wondered at her
-strength. Her strength came to him. The deeps
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_1482">[Pg 148]</span>of his listening were opened to her low voice. The
-story came to them with all the colour and contour
-of her thought-pictures&mdash;a richness from the unspoken
-words which cannot be given again:</p>
-
-<p>“It’s about a little girl whom I will call Olga,”
-she said. “That is really her name, and the story
-is the little girl’s truly. I shall only tell part of
-it to-night, for it is long and I would only tell you
-the happy part&mdash;to-night.</p>
-
-<p>“Olga’s father and mother and the other children
-lived in a low house by the open road that
-led to Hamilton. He raised sheep for a living
-on the rolling pasture-lands near the Waikata
-river, a hundred miles south of Auckland....
-Yes, Olga was born in New Zealand&mdash;the youngest
-of a houseful of sisters. They belong more
-to the latter part of the story which I shall not
-tell to-night&mdash;just the happy part to-night....
-The first thing that Olga remembered as belonging
-to the Great Subject was spoken by her father
-one evening when they were all together at their
-supper of bread and milk:</p>
-
-<p>“‘... One never knows. It is best not to
-turn away any stranger, not even if he is shabby
-and ill-looking. I heard of a house where a
-stranger was turned away. They were not bad
-people, but supper was over, the things put aside,
-and the woman was very tired. The stranger was
-taken in at the next house, and in the morning
-he seemed different to them&mdash;not shabby or ill-looking<span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span>
-at all, but rested and laughing, with
-bright lights about his hair. Always afterward,
-that house was blest, but the other house went on
-in its misery and labour. One never knows. It
-is best not to turn any stranger away.’</p>
-
-<p>“Now Olga understood that from beginning to
-end. Many times before she had tried to follow
-the talk at the table, but the words would come
-too fast, and she would fall away to her own manner
-of seeing things. This talk simplified many
-matters for her, and seemed greatly to be approved.
-So in the evenings she began to watch
-for <i>her</i> guest up the long level road that led to
-Hamilton. All that summer Olga thought of it
-and watched, though she was very little and only
-five. Sometimes when it was not yet dark she
-would venture forth a few steps and stare up the
-long road, until the house of their distant but
-nearest neighbour was all blurred in the night.
-Just behind her cottage in the other direction, the
-road dipped into a ravine, and the trees grew up
-from it, shutting off the distance. No place could
-be more wonderful than the ravine at midday, for
-the shades were quickened with birds, bees, flowers
-and much beside that only Olga saw, but its
-enchantment was too keen for the evening, and
-the night came there very quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“Her Guest would never come from the ravineway,
-but from the long, open road&mdash;Olga was
-sure of this. Yet when stopping to think, she became<span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span>
-afraid he would not be allowed to pass the
-neighbour’s house. Their little Paul was her frequent
-playmate, and Paul’s father and mother
-were most good and hospitable people, the last on
-the Hamilton road to let a stranger go by, without
-food and shelter. And Paul would be looking,
-for he was almost always interested in her
-things.... But perhaps they would be in at
-supper and not see the stranger; or perhaps he
-would not want to stop there, but would know
-that <i>she</i> was watching. She made very certain
-that he would not get by her house unobserved.</p>
-
-<p>“Spring had come again. The pale blue hepaticas
-were peeping into bloom. There was one
-day that ended in Olga’s most wonderful night.
-The sun had gone down, but not the light. The
-sky was crowded with rich gold like the breast of
-the purple martin&mdash;flickerings of beautiful light
-in the air, as if little balls of happiness were bursting
-of themselves. The shadows were soft on the
-long road; the tiles of the neighbour’s low house
-were like beaten gold, and the perfume of the
-hyacinths flooded everywhere into the silence. All
-that heaven could ever be was in that broad splendour
-and sweetness&mdash;the ravine a soft purple stillness
-behind, and a faint mist of red falling in the
-distant gold.</p>
-
-<p>“He was coming. She knew him for The Guest
-from afar. The neighbours’ house was already
-dimmed, but the stranger was clear, so that she
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</span>knew he had passed their door. She ran forth
-to meet him, and no one called to her from behind.
-It seemed all made for her&mdash;the evening
-so sweet and vast and perfect. One of her little
-loose shoes came off as she hurried, but she did
-not stop. The single one made her running
-clumsy, so she kicked that free too. He must not
-think she was a little lame girl.... He was farther
-than she thought; she had never come so far
-alone in the evening. And yet how clearly she
-could see him....</p>
-
-<p>“He must be very tired, for sometimes he was
-on one side of the road, and sometimes on the
-other. He was quite old, and his step unsteady,
-yet he carried his cane and did not use it....
-His head was uncovered. Now she knew why his
-steps were so unsteady. He was looking upward
-as he walked&mdash;upward and around quite joyously,
-the glow of the sky upon his white beard and hair&mdash;so
-that he did not see her coming, and her bare
-feet were silent on the road.</p>
-
-<p>“She felt very little as she touched his cane.</p>
-
-<p>“‘Won’t you come to our house to rest? Oh,
-please&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>“‘Yes, yes,’ he answered, but did not look
-down.</p>
-
-<p>“‘Our house is near&mdash;won’t you come?’ she
-asked again, and turning, she was surprised how
-far it was, but not afraid, and no one called to
-her.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span></p>
-<p>“‘Oh, yes,’ he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“‘But I am down here&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>“‘Bless me&mdash;are you?’</p>
-
-<p>“He did not seem to see her very well, but tried
-to follow her voice, his eyes looking past her, and
-to the side, his great hands groping for her gently.
-Olga spoke again and touched his hands. Then
-he really saw her, and she sighed with relief, because
-his eyes filled with the gentlest love she had
-ever seen&mdash;seemed to rest upon her and enclose her
-at the same time. The gladdest smile of welcome
-had come to his face. Both her hands were in
-his groping ones, but now she turned and led him.
-There was silence as they walked, and Olga asked:</p>
-
-<p>“‘But what were you looking for&mdash;you were
-looking up, you know?’</p>
-
-<p>“‘Was I, dear?’</p>
-
-<p>“‘Yes, and what were you looking for?’</p>
-
-<p>“‘I was looking for my mother,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Olga thought how old she must be, and she
-wanted to cry.... <i>Her</i> mother made the
-stranger very welcome, and her father stood back
-against the wall smiling in a way that she always
-remembered, and without lighting his pipe until
-after the stranger had finished his meal. There
-was golden butter and the dark bread that is the
-life of the peasants, a pitcher of fresh milk and
-a bite of that cheese which is brought forth only
-on Sundays or holidays. They pressed him to eat
-more, saying that he must be in need of food after
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span>his journey, but it was very little that he really
-took. He smiled and looked with peace from
-face to face, but Olga had pulled her stool back
-into the shadows, for she did not wish to intrude.
-He had not seen so much of the others.</p>
-
-<p>“A chair was brought to the hearth, for it was
-now dark and there was a little fire burning against
-the damp coolness of evening. They waited in
-vain for him to speak. It was as if he had come
-home. To Olga he was intensely memorable sitting
-there in the firelight. The others would draw
-near, and he leaned forward and looked into their
-faces smilingly, but it was not the same....
-Now he was looking and looking around the room.
-He found her, and held out his hands. She heard
-her mother say, ‘This is Olga’s guest.’</p>
-
-<p>“She had not believed his old arms could be
-so strong. With one hand he held her, while
-the other patted her shoulder softly, slowly,&mdash;as
-if he had everything he desired. All about her
-was the firelight and the strange joyous whiteness
-of him&mdash;his throat and collar and beard all lustrous
-white. In his arms there was something she
-had never known, even from her mother&mdash;a deep
-and limitless joy, as if the world were all good,
-and nothing could possibly happen that would
-not be the right good thing.</p>
-
-<p>“Then she became afraid her breast would
-burst, for the happiness was more and more. It
-had to do with the future, such a far distance of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</span>seeing, all rising and increasingly good&mdash;until
-Olga had to slip down from his knees, because the
-happiness in and through her was more than she
-could bear.</p>
-
-<p>“‘I will come back,’ she said hoarsely.</p>
-
-<p>“Outdoors she waited until the stars had
-steadied and were like the stars she knew, for they
-had been huge and blazing at first; then she returned
-and he stretched out his hands to her, and
-she heard her mother say, ‘Surely, this is Olga’s
-guest.’</p>
-
-<p>“She did not remember how she got into her
-little bed. She heard the birds in the vines, and
-it was golden day when she awoke. Suddenly
-she knew that she had slept too long, that she
-would find him gone.... She thought of her
-little brown shoes on the road, but some one must
-have brought them in, for there they were by the
-bed.... He was no longer in the house, but she
-did not weep. There had been so much of wonder
-and beauty. She looked into her mother’s
-face, but did not ask. The mother smiled, as if
-waiting for her to speak. The other children must
-have been told, for they did not speak.</p>
-
-<p>“A thousand times Olga wished that she had
-awakened in time; often it came to her that she
-had not done all she could for her guest, but
-there was never real misery about it, and she was
-never quite the same after that perfect night. She
-thought it out bit by bit every day, but it was
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</span>long, long afterward before she spoke, and this
-was to an elder sister, who&mdash;it was most strange
-and pitiful to Olga&mdash;seemed to have forgotten
-it all&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The Faraway Woman reached for the child,
-and held it close and strangely. Fleury offered
-her water, but she took just a sup and bade them
-finish the cup. “That was the happy part,” she
-added in a whisper, her back moving slowly to
-and fro, as she held the child high. “It might all
-have been happier, but Olga was not quite like
-the others. They did not tell her what they knew,
-and Olga never could tell them what she felt.
-Another time&mdash;some happy time&mdash;I will tell you,
-who are so good&mdash;you will understand the rest of
-the story&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Would you tell us if Olga’s guest came
-again?” the preacher asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he came again,” she said softly.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair sat still for several moments. Then he
-leaned forward and touched the child’s dress.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">8</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">They made an appearance of drinking (with
-a cracker in hand) at midnight, but it was
-for the sake of the woman&mdash;a sup of tepid water.
-The long night sailed by. Slowly the moon sank&mdash;that
-dry moon, brick-red and bulbous, as it
-entered the western sea. All was still in the little
-boat. Bellair was ready to meet his suffering.
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</span>He could not sleep&mdash;because the woman was
-near. That was the night that her quality fixed
-itself for all time exemplary in his heart.</p>
-
-<p>The little story had revealed to him a new
-sanctuary. He loved it and the little Gleam; as
-for that, he loved Fleury, too. It was a strange
-resolving of all separateness that had come to him
-from these friends. More than ever thrilling it
-had come, with Stackhouse out of the boat and
-since the story had been made his.</p>
-
-<p>She had been frightened by his loss of consciousness
-at the end of the battle. He had awakened
-looking into her eyes. He scarcely dared to
-recall what she had said in her anxiety, but it
-was an extraordinary matter of value. What
-a mother she was; and what a little girl lived in
-that story, and now!... That little girl was
-still in her heart. The recent days in the open
-boat had not spoiled her; nor the recent years of
-loneliness and tragedy. Out of it all had come certain
-perfect works&mdash;the babe in her arms, her own
-fortitude and fearlessness of death; the little girl
-still in her eyes and heart. Bellair saw that a man
-loves the child in a woman, quite as much as a
-woman loves the boy in a man.... She had said
-that Fleury and he were brothers and heroes. He
-knew better in his own case. Still she had said
-it, adding that the discovery of such men to her
-was a part of the very bloom of life....</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was not thinking the personal relation
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</span>now. Fleury and she were mated in his own
-thoughts. From the beginning, this was so; and
-yet he did not ask more. He had come to believe
-from their glorious humanity (so strange to him
-and unpromising in the beginning)&mdash;that the
-world was crowded with latent values which, once
-touched and quickened into life, would make it
-a paradise.</p>
-
-<p>That was the substance of the whole matter.
-He must never forget it. The human values
-which he had met in these were secret in thousands,
-perhaps in millions, of hearts, and needed
-only breaking open by stress and revelation&mdash;to
-bring the millennium to old Mother Earth, and
-open her skies for the plan of joy. Bellair impressed
-this upon his mind again, so he would
-not forget&mdash;then fell asleep.</p>
-
-<p>She was first awake in the distance-clearing
-light. She arose carefully, so as not to awaken
-the men and the child, and stared long in every
-quarter. There was no ship, no land, no cloud;
-and yet a trace of happiness on her thin face, as
-she sat down. Fleury was rousing. She had expected
-that; for through their strange sympathy
-several times before he had awakened with her,
-or soon after. She bent forward and whispered
-a good-morning, and added:</p>
-
-<p>“It is gone&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Surely?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Thank God.”</p>
-
-<p>The preacher breathed deeply, contemplated
-their faces one after another. From Bellair lying
-in the stern, his eyes turned significantly to the
-woman’s, and his own lit with zeal.... Bellair
-was on the borderland then, coming up through
-the fathoms of dream. Already he felt the heat;
-the sun had imparted its ache to his eyes. The
-three were half-blinded by the long brilliance of
-the cloudless days on the sea.... Bellair was
-trying to speak, but could not because of the parch
-in his throat. Moreover, no thoughts could hold
-him&mdash;not even Bessie. She came to mind, pink
-and ineffectual, lost in her childish things. She
-had failed this way before....</p>
-
-<p>There was a cup to his lips. He smelled the
-water, and wanted it as he wanted decency and
-truth&mdash;as he wanted to be brave and fit to be one
-of the three. It almost crazed him, the way he
-wanted it&mdash;but it would be taking it from her.
-All the violence of one-pointed will was against
-the cup. He pushed it away.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t, Bellair,” said Fleury. “You’ll spill it.
-Drink&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I won’t. Take it away.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must drink. It is yours.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he must drink,” said the woman.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair sat up. Fleury was holding the cup to
-his lips.</p>
-
-<p>“It is gone from behind,” said the preacher.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</span>“Drink your water. I have. I will speak to you
-after you drink.”</p>
-
-<p>He stared at them, and at the open sea behind
-her. Then it came to him, as if from Fleury’s
-mind, to obey.... Fleury then served the
-woman. They ate a cracker together; at least it
-seemed so. Then Fleury spoke:</p>
-
-<p>“We have the child to serve&mdash;that is our first
-thought; therefore we must think of the child’s
-mother first. As for her other part, as our companion,
-she will be one with us, of course. We
-have been here five full days, and we have not
-been allowed, by the presence of him who is gone&mdash;and
-may God rest and keep that&mdash;we have not
-been allowed to do the best we could in this great
-privilege of being together and drawing close to
-reality. Many have gone without food and drink
-for ten days&mdash;to come close to God. There is
-food here and water&mdash;to keep us in life. This is
-what I would say: We must change our point
-of view.”</p>
-
-<p>He paused, and their eyes turned from one to
-another. The child’s face seemed washed in the
-magic of morning. The preacher added:</p>
-
-<p>“We must cease to regard ourselves as suffering,
-as creatures in want, as starving or dying of
-thirst. Rather, as three souls knit, each to the
-other, who have entered upon a pilgrimage together&mdash;a
-period of simple austerity to cleanse and
-purify our bodies the better to meet and sense
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</span>reality, and to approach with a finer sensitiveness,
-than we have ever known&mdash;the mystery and ministry
-of God.... So we are not suffering, Bellair.
-We are not suffering&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He turned to the woman.</p>
-
-<p>“We are chosen ones. This is our wilderness.
-When we are ready&mdash;God will speak to us. We
-are very far from the poor needs of the body&mdash;for
-this is the time and period of our consecration.
-God bless you both&mdash;and the Gleam.”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">9</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">It was the seventh evening, the cool coming in.
-Bellair could not feel his body below his
-lungs, unless he stopped to think. The child
-was on his knee, his hands holding it. The little
-face was browned, but very clear and bright. Bellair’s
-hands against the child’s dress were clawlike
-to his own eyes, like the hands of a black
-man very aged. He could move his fingers when
-he thought of it, but he did not know if they
-moved unless he watched. The effort of steadying
-the child he did not feel in his arms, but in his
-shoulders. It was like the ache in his eyes. No
-tears would come, but all the smart of tears’ beginnings;
-and the least little thing would bring
-it about. He had to stop between words and
-wait for his throat to subside&mdash;in the simplest
-saying.</p>
-
-<p>He saw everything clearly. The open boat was
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</span>like a seat lifted a trifle above the runways of
-the world. He could see them, as one in the
-swarming paths beneath could never hope to see.
-It was all good, but the pain and the pressure
-of them all!... Bessie Brealt in pain and pressure;
-Davy Acton in the hard heavy air; Broadwell
-who was trying to be a man at Lot &amp; Company’s;
-the old boarding-house woman who had
-forgotten everything but her rooms&mdash;her rooms
-moving with shadows whom she never saw clearly
-and never hoped to understand&mdash;shadows that
-flitted, her accounts never in order, her rooms
-never in order.... There had been people in
-there whom he never saw&mdash;one girlish voice that
-awakened in the afternoon and sang softly, a
-most subdued and impossible singing. She worked
-nights at a telephone switch-board&mdash;the night-desires
-of the great city passing through her&mdash;and
-she sang to the light of noon when it came to the
-cage.... Sunday afternoons when it was fine,
-a bearded man emerged from a back-room,
-emerged with a cane and cigarette case. Always
-on the front steps he lit the cigarette....</p>
-
-<p>Bellair now couldn’t smoke.... Once there
-had been moaning in a lower back room, moaning
-night and morning from a woman. He was
-not sure if it were the millinery woman, or the
-one who worked in Kratz’s. The moaning stopped
-and as he passed through the hall, he heard a
-doctor say to the landlady:</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</span></p>
-
-<p>“King Alcohol.”</p>
-
-<p>Just that.... He saw the millinery woman
-afterward, so it wasn’t she.... The air in the
-old halls was of a character all its own. It was
-stronger than the emanations from any of the
-rooms. The separate currents lost their identity
-like streams in the ocean, like souls in Brahma....
-How strangely apart he had kept all that
-five years! A face not seen before in the halls,
-and he did not know if it were a newcomer or
-old. So few came to the board to dine&mdash;the
-chorus-woman from the Hippodrome, who came
-up nightly from the water.... He saw the view
-from his window&mdash;over the roofs and areas. It
-was a wall of windows&mdash;dwellers in the canyon
-sides; boxes of food hanging out, clothing out to
-freshen itself in the dingy and sluggish airs&mdash;the
-coloured stockings and the faces that looked out.
-Everything was monotonous but the faces&mdash;faces
-grim and sharp&mdash;faces of kittens and bulls and
-rabbits and foxes, faces of ferrets, sleek faces, torn
-faces, red and brutal, white and wasted faces;
-faces of food and drink, faces of hunger and fear;
-the drugged look; few tears but much dry yearning,
-and not a face of joy.</p>
-
-<p>There was no joyousness and peace in the lower
-runways, but pain and heavy pressures.... Bellair
-saw himself moving among those halls again,
-not a stranger, but with a hand, a smile, a dollar.
-No one would moan for days without his knowing.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</span>He would find day-work for the little telephone
-miss, and send orders for hats to the milliner. He
-would awaken that shadow of all the shadows, the
-landlady, with kindness and healing. He would
-call across the windowed cavern.... They
-would say, “Come over and help us,” and he would
-rush down stairs, and around into other streets, and
-faces there would be ready to show him. He saw
-it all clearly, such as it was, but no facts. They
-would not call to him. They would not be
-healed. They would take a dollar, but say he
-was cracked. He could move about passing forth
-a dollar here and there&mdash;that was all. They
-would welcome him at Lot &amp; Company’s if he
-passed it out quietly enough. The dollar would
-go into the Sproxley system and emerge unbroken
-to the firm itself, there to be had and held and
-marked down in the house of Lot&mdash;Jabez,
-Nathan, Eben, Seth, each a part, the jovial Mr.
-Rawter a small but visible part&mdash;one hundred
-Sproxley-measured cents.... Davy Acton
-wouldn’t get one, nor Broadwell, nor the girls upstairs.
-The firm would not encourage him passing
-beyond the cage of Mr. Sproxley.... There
-were many who wanted food and drink and hats&mdash;hats&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He was with Bessie Brealt now ... that
-night and the kiss. It was another life.... He
-went back to those who needed food&mdash;New York
-so full of food. Then he felt the heavy wallet
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</span>against his breast&mdash;one paper in there would fill
-the open boat with food....</p>
-
-<p>“My God,” he said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He didn’t try to explain.... Sometimes he
-fell into a little dream as he sat. Once he was
-drinking at the narrow throat of a green bottle,&mdash;a
-magic bottle whose base was in the sea, and
-the trickle that passed through was freshened
-drop by drop. But it was a trick like all else in
-the world and the drops passed with agonising
-slowness. He came to, sucking hard upon his
-brass key, his mouth ulcered from it.... There
-were times in the long days that he hungered for
-the stars almost as for drink; times in the night
-when the stars bored him like some man-pageantry
-that he had seen too much of; times when the
-thought of God was less than the thought of
-water; and times when the faith and the glory of
-the spirit of the world made thirst a thing to
-laugh at, and death whimsical and insignificant....
-Sometimes in the night, he fancied the
-woman was Bessie Brealt. It would come like a
-little suspicion first hardly stirring his faculties;
-finally it would be real&mdash;that the singing girl
-was there, all but her song. He would sit up rubbing
-his eyes in rebellion. Once he had spoken
-to be sure.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, it is I,” she said huskily, and the voice
-was not Bessie Brealt’s.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">10</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">They did not speak of ships. Through the
-wakeful night hours they watched for the
-lights of ships, but they did not speak of vigils.
-Their eyes were straining for uncharted shores
-during the days, but they did not speak of
-land; nor of rain, though they watched passionately
-the change and movement of wind and
-cloud.</p>
-
-<p>It is true that they suffered less in the days that
-followed the passing of Stackhouse. The underworld
-was gone from the seat in the stern; sunlight
-and sea air had cleansed it from the boat.
-They were weaker, but pangs of thirst were
-weaker, too. Small pieces of metal in their
-mouths kept the saliva trickling. The real difference
-was an exaltation which even Bellair shared
-at times, and which had come to them the fifth
-morning with Fleury’s talk, and with refining
-intensity since.</p>
-
-<p>The child was well; his imperative founts still
-flowing. She was pure mother; it was the child
-that was nourished first, not her own body. She
-was first in the passion for his preservation. Indeed,
-she would have told them at once had any
-change threatened him. But she was the soul of
-the fasting too; the austerity of it found deep
-sanction within her; and there were moments in
-which she bewildered Bellair, for she became
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</span>bright with the vitality which is above the need
-of bread.</p>
-
-<p>Fleury talked of God, as Stackhouse had talked
-of death. Indeed, there was a contrasting intoxication
-in the days and nights of the preacher, but
-one without hideous reaction.</p>
-
-<p>“There comes a moment,” he said, “when I am
-alone&mdash;when you two are asleep&mdash;that I feel the
-weakness. I drink and eat&mdash;perhaps more than
-my share. But when we are all together&mdash;sitting
-here as now, talking and sustaining one another&mdash;oh,
-it seems I was never so happy.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair suspected that this talk of lapses into
-abandonment while others slept was an effort to
-make their minds easy on the subject of his share.
-Both the Mother and Bellair doubted this; it
-preyed upon them. In the main they were one
-solution, each separate quality of their individualism
-cast into a common pool for the sustaining
-of a trinity.</p>
-
-<p>“It changes the whole order,” Fleury declared.
-“Why, whole crowds have died of hunger&mdash;in
-half the number of days that holy men and women
-have fasted as a mere incident of their practice
-toward self-mastery. This is our consecration.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair found it true. He had ceased to marvel
-at himself. Deep reconstruction was advanced
-within him; and a strange loyalty and endurance
-prospered from the new foundations. If this were
-self-hypnosis&mdash;very well; if madness&mdash;very well,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</span>too; at least, it was good to possess, seven, eight,
-nine days in an open boat, on a one-fifth ration
-of water and food. To Bellair, who felt himself
-inferior to the others, it appeared that they already
-lived what he was thrillingly thinking out.
-He remembered his first thoughts of them&mdash;in the
-cold worldly manner of a fellow-traveller. It was
-almost as far as a man’s emotion can swing, from
-what he thought of them now. Before God, he
-believed he was right now, and wrong then. Certainly
-he would test it out, if he lived to move
-among men again.</p>
-
-<p>He thought often about the child’s voice&mdash;at
-the moment that the heart of Stackhouse broke&mdash;as
-the point of his turning and salvation. This
-furnished a clue to many things, though he did
-not miss the fact that the world would smile at
-his credulity in accepting such a dispensation as
-real. The world would say that he had been
-driven to far distances of illusion by thirst and
-hunger; in fact, that anything which he had seen,
-other than the original entity in the eyes of Stackhouse,
-was a part of the illusion. Bellair considered
-this, and also that in every instance of
-late in which he had held the world’s point of
-view he had been proven wrong. He granted
-the world its rights to think as it chose, but accepted
-the dispensation.</p>
-
-<p>There had been good and evil within him. The
-balance had turned in favour of the good, with
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</span>that cry. It had turned from the self. The purpose
-of the Enterer had been to keep him <i>in</i> the
-self. It had come from the unfathomed depths
-of evil&mdash;that purpose and the devil which he
-saw. Bellair had heard repeatedly that some
-such <i>dweller</i> appeared to each man who makes
-an abrupt turn from the life of flesh to the life
-of the spirit. Each of the three had seen something
-foreign in the eyes of Stackhouse. It is
-true they had not talked of it; possibly to each
-it was different in its deadliness; perhaps theirs
-was not the demon <i>he</i> saw, since Fleury and the
-woman were much farther on the way than he,
-but they had been good enough to share responsibility
-for the visitation. Indeed, the Faraway
-Woman could not have been acting, since a cry
-came from her the instant <i>it</i> appeared.</p>
-
-<p>This he loved to study: that his thought of the
-child had balanced the whole issue against the
-intruder; that something within him had brought
-that saving grace of selflessness out of chaos. It
-was a squeak, he invariably added, but it had
-shown him enough, opening the way. There must
-be such a beginning in every man; in fact, there
-must come an instant of choice; an instant in
-which a man consciously chooses his path, weighing
-all that is past against the hope and intellectual
-conception of a better life.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair brooded upon this a great deal, especially
-on the ninth day, and that was the day,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</span>Fleury talked&mdash;the holiest of their days in the
-open boat. Bellair found many things clearer
-afterwards. As soon as he understood fully, he
-meant to close it all, so far as his own relation was
-concerned. In its very nature it must be given to
-others, must be turned to helpfulness. It was a
-sort of star-dust which did not adhere to self, but
-sought places of innocence to shine from, and used
-every pure instrument for its dissemination. The
-key to the whole matter was the loss of the sense of
-self. Having accepted this, Bellair knew that
-he must go up into Nineveh, so to speak. He
-trembled.</p>
-
-<p>“We learn by austerities apart,” Fleury said,
-“and then we return to men with the story. We
-are called up the mountain to witness the transfiguration,
-and then are sent with the picture down
-among men. Oh, no, we are not permitted to
-remain, nor build a temple up there. First we
-receive; then we must give. We must lose the
-sense of self in order to receive; and having received,
-we do not want the sense of self. This
-is the right and left hand of prayer&mdash;pure selfless
-receptivity, then tireless giving to others. It is
-the key to the whole scheme of life&mdash;mountain
-and valley, ebb and flow, night and day, winter
-and summer, the movement of the lungs and the
-heart and the soul. We cannot receive while our
-senses are hot with desire; therefore we must become
-delicate and sensitive. Having received, we
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</span>must make the gift alive through action. Dreaming
-is splendid; the dreamer receives. The
-dreamer starts all things; but the dreamer becomes
-a hopeless ineffectual if he does not make
-his dreams come true in matter. That is it. We
-are here to make matter follow the dream. That’s
-why the spirit puts on flesh&mdash;that’s why we are
-workmen. Action is the right hand of thought.”</p>
-
-<p>The preacher was ahead of him in these
-thoughts. So often he said just what Bellair
-needed, the exact, clearing, helpful thing. For
-instance, Bellair had followed his own fascinating
-conviction that the world is full of secret
-values; that the world is ready to pull together,
-only it requires a certain stimulus from without&mdash;some
-certain message that would reach and unify
-all. Fleury tightened the matter by his expression
-of it:</p>
-
-<p>“The socialists are doing great good. The
-church is still doing good; the societies that have
-turned to the East have heard the great message;
-even in commerce there is a new life; everywhere
-in the world, the sense of having found <i>some new
-spirit</i> which works to destroy the sense of self.
-If one great figure should come now&mdash;come saying,
-‘You are all good. You are all after the same
-thing. One way is as good as another&mdash;only
-come.’... What we need is for some one to
-touch the chord for us&mdash;to give us the key, as
-to an orchestra of different instruments. We are
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</span>all making different notes; and yet are ready for
-the harmony&mdash;some of us intensely eager for the
-harmony. The great need is for a Unifier....
-It seems that we, here in the small boat, can see
-America so much clearer, than when we were
-there&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had felt this a thousand times.</p>
-
-<p>“The greatest story in the world is the story
-of the coming of a Messiah&mdash;the one who may
-chord for us. I think He will come. He will
-come out of the East, his face like the morning
-sun turned to the West. Don’t you see&mdash;we are
-all like atoms of steel in a chaos? You know
-what happens when a voltage of electricity is
-turned upon a bar of steel? Order comes to the
-chaos; the atoms sing, all turned the same way.
-That Voice must come&mdash;that tremendous voltage
-of spiritual electricity&mdash;that will set us all in
-harmony&mdash;all with our tails down stream.”</p>
-
-<p>And Fleury finished it all by pointing out what
-had happened to them in the small boat. They
-had lost separateness; they were each for the
-others.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s what must happen in America, in the
-world,&mdash;the pull of each for the whole&mdash;the harmony.
-You have seen an audience in the midst
-of great message or great music&mdash;they weep together.
-They cry out together. They are all
-one. That’s the story. That is what must happen.
-It will happen when the Unifier comes. It
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</span>is the base of all gospel&mdash;that we are all one in
-spirit. Don’t you see it&mdash;every message from the
-beginning of time has told it? All one&mdash;all one&mdash;our
-separateness is our suffering, our evil. To return
-to the House of Our Father&mdash;that is the
-end of estrangement.”</p>
-
-<p>... And Fleury was the one who had ceased
-to talk. But he had acted, too.... They saw
-that he was held by some power of his giving to
-them. He was like light. He had given the whole
-material force of his body to hold off that destruction
-which had come with the dying of Stackhouse.
-He had not eaten, even as they had eaten.
-They feared for him, because he was the centre
-and mainspring of their pilgrimage. Especially
-this haunt became more grippable in the heart of
-the ninth night.... There was a small tin of
-water left, less than three pints, very far from
-clean; and somewhat less than a pound of crackers.
-Bellair awoke to find Fleury gone from his
-place between him and the woman. He was in
-the stern, in the old seat of Stackhouse, praying.
-... Fleury met the tenth day with an exaltation
-that awed Bellair and the woman; and there came
-from it a fear to Bellair’s heart that had nothing to
-do with self, nor with the Mother, nor the Gleam.</p>
-
-<p>They were all weak, and two men utterly weak.
-Through their will and denial, and the extraordinary
-force and health of her own nature, the child
-had not yet been dangerously denied. It had become<span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</span>
-a sort of natural religion with the three&mdash;a
-readiness to die for the Gleam.</p>
-
-<p>“This is our last day,” said Fleury, before the
-western horizon was marked clear.... The
-Faraway Woman told them another story of what
-the wise old shepherd dog told the puppies&mdash;that
-it was better to begin on crackers and water&mdash;and
-end on cookies and cream....</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">11</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair believed about this being the last day.
-The authority was quite enough, but there was
-still something akin to eternity in the possible
-space of another daylight and distance. The
-announcement did not bring him an unmixed
-gladness, for the mysterious fear of the night
-haunted him&mdash;the thing that had come to him
-under the full and amazing moon while Fleury
-prayed.... Day revealed no sign. They sat
-speechless and bowed under the smiting noon&mdash;the
-little boat in the wide, green deep under a
-fleckless, windless sky, proud of its pure part in
-infinite space.</p>
-
-<p>That was the day the child moaned, as significantly
-for the ears of men, as for the mother.
-He was a waif to look at&mdash;the little heart at
-times like one of them in stoicism&mdash;then nestling
-to the mother-breast and the turning away in
-astonishment and pain. The Mother’s eyes were
-harrowing.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</span></p>
-
-<p>“This is our last day,” Fleury repeated.</p>
-
-<p>“I believe you,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Then drink and eat&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I did&mdash;it is&mdash;it is&mdash;oh, I did!”</p>
-
-<p>“Land or rain or a ship, I do not know&mdash;but
-this is the last day&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair regarded him, between his own wordless
-vapourings of consciousness. The preacher
-was like a guest, not of earth altogether&mdash;like one
-who would come in the evening.... Yes, that
-was it. He was like the old man who came to
-Olga, only young and beautiful. It did not occur
-to Bellair now that he was regarding his friend
-with a quality of vision that a well-fed man never
-knows.... That which he had fancied placid
-and boyish was knit and masterful. The cheeks
-and temples were hollowed, but the eyes were
-bright. There is a brightness of hunger, of fever,
-of certain drugs, but these were as different as
-separate colours&mdash;and had not to do with this
-man’s eyes. Nothing that Bellair knew but starlight
-could be likened&mdash;and not all starlight.
-There was one star that rose late and climbed
-high above and a little toward the north&mdash;solitary,
-remote, not yellow nor red nor green nor
-white, as we know it&mdash;yet of that whiteness which
-is the source of all. Bellair had forgotten the
-name, but Fleury’s eyes made him think of it.</p>
-
-<p>... The woman’s head was lying back. Something
-that Bellair had noted a hundred times,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</span>without bringing it actually into his mind’s front,
-now appeared with all the energy of a realisation.
-Her throat was almost too beautiful. The diverging
-lines under the ear, one stretching down to
-the shoulder, the other curving forward around
-the chin, were shadowed a little deeper from her
-body’s wasting, but the beauty was deeper than
-flesh, the structure itself classic. It was the same
-as when he had noted her finger-nails. Beauty had
-brought him a kind of excitement, and something
-of hostility&mdash;as if he had been hurt terribly by
-it long ago. But this was different; these details
-had come one by one, as he was ready. Her integrity
-had entered his heart before each outer
-symbol. He had not seen her at all at first; recalled
-the queer sense of hesitation in raising his
-eyes across the table in the cabin of the <i>Jade</i>. He
-had studied her face in the open boat, but something
-seemed to blur his eyes when she turned to
-him to speak. Two are required for a real understanding.
-As yet they had not really met, not
-yet turned to each other in that searching silence
-which fathoms. But the details were dawning
-upon him. Perhaps that was the way of the Faraway
-Woman&mdash;to dawn upon one.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The day was ending&mdash;their shadows long upon
-the water. Fleury raised his hand as he said:</p>
-
-<p>“It is surer to me than anything in the
-world&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</span></p>
-<p>“What, Fleury?” Bellair asked, though there
-was but one theme of the day.</p>
-
-<p>“That this is our last day in the open boat.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair did not answer. His own voice had
-a hideous sound to him and betrayed his misery.</p>
-
-<p>“It was the <i>too-great light</i>&mdash;that I saw,” the
-preacher added huskily. “It began last night as
-I prayed. I saw that this was the last day for
-us&mdash;but more&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I saw something about you as you prayed,”
-the woman said.</p>
-
-<p>Fleury surprised them now, taking a sup of
-water. They saw that he had something to say
-about God and the soul of man&mdash;that was the
-romance he worshipped. They listened with awe.
-In Bellair’s heart, at least, there was a conviction
-that tightened continually&mdash;that they were not
-long to hear the words of the preacher.</p>
-
-<p>“... For two years I have been in the dark
-and could not pray. Before that I prayed with
-the thought of self, which is not prayer. I could
-not stay as a church leader without praying. I
-said I would pray when I could pray purely for
-them. I told them, too, that I could not look
-back in service and adoration to the Saviour of
-another people who lived two thousand years ago.
-They called me a devil and a blasphemer. For
-two years, I have tried to serve instead of to pray,
-but no one would listen, no one would have me.
-They said I was insane, and at times I believed
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</span>it. At last, it came to me that I must go away&mdash;to
-the farthest part of the world&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He turned yearningly to the woman.</p>
-
-<p>“And then you came with your strength and
-faith.”</p>
-
-<p>Now to Bellair:</p>
-
-<p>“And you came with the world in your thoughts,
-and I made the third. We went down into the
-wilderness together&mdash;with that other of the underworld.
-<i>It was a cosmos.</i> It has shown me all
-I can bear. Last night, it came to me that I <i>could</i>
-pray for you. It came simply, because I loved you
-enough&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>His face moved from one to the other, his hand
-fumbling the dress of the child beside him.</p>
-
-<p>“It was very clear. As soon as I loved you
-enough, I could pray for you, without thought
-of self. It was the loss of the self that made it
-all so wonderful. And as I prayed, the light
-came, and the Saviour I had lost, was in the light.
-And the light was Ahead; and this message from
-Him, came to my soul:</p>
-
-<p>“<i>I am here for those who look ahead; and for
-those who turn back two thousand years, I am
-there. Those who love one another find me
-swiftly.</i>”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair scarcely heard him. Fleury’s eyes were
-light itself. The man’s inner flame had broken
-through. Something incandescent was within
-him; something within touched by the “glittering
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</span>plane.” But it did not mean future years together.
-Bellair had wanted that.... Fleury
-smiled now, his eyes lost in the East. He lifted
-his hand.</p>
-
-<p>“It always comes from the East,” he said
-strangely.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had searched that horizon a few moments
-ago. He knew exactly how the East had
-looked&mdash;a thin luminous grey line on the green,
-brightening to Prussian blue, then to vivid azure.
-He dared not look now, but watched the woman.</p>
-
-<p>Straining and terror were in her eyes&mdash;then
-sudden light, a miracle of light and hope, then her
-cry.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair seemed to see it in her mind&mdash;the
-smudge upon the horizon&mdash;before he turned. It
-was there&mdash;a blur on the thin grey line.</p>
-
-<p>To lift the oars was like raising logs of oak,
-but he shipped the pair at last, listening for the
-words of the others and watching their faces. It
-seemed simpler than straining his eyes to the East.
-Fleury tried to raise the overcoat from the bottom
-of the boat, but it fell from his hands, and he
-sank back smiling:</p>
-
-<p>“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “They’re coming.
-They’ll see us soon.”</p>
-
-<p>To Bellair it was like seeing a ghost, that smile
-of Fleury’s. It meant something that in the future
-would be quite as important to him as the ship’s
-bearing down to lift them up. He pulled toward
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</span>the east&mdash;felt the old fainting come, pulled
-against that,&mdash;to the east, until a low, thundering
-vibration was all about him, like the tramp
-of death. Perhaps it was that&mdash;the thought
-flickered up into form out of the deep blur....
-He was drinking water again. This time he did
-not fight.</p>
-
-<p>“You may as well have yours, Bellair, man,”
-Fleury was saying, “and you need not row.
-They’re coming. It’s a ship coming fast. There
-is light for them to see us well&mdash;if they do not
-already&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But you haven’t drunk!”</p>
-
-<p>“Bless you, I’ll drink now.”</p>
-
-<p>The woman handed him the water. The cup
-was in his hand. He covered merely the bottom
-of the cup, and made much of it as if it were a
-full quart.</p>
-
-<p>“The fact is&mdash;I’m not thirsty,” he said pitifully,
-when he saw their faces.</p>
-
-<p>“You’re all in,” Bellair said in an awed tone.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Through the prolonged ending of that day Bellair
-watched the steamer near, but his thoughts
-were not held to the beauty of her form, nor the
-pricking out at last of her lights. He stood against
-the bare pole in the dusk, and waved and called&mdash;his
-voice little and whimsical. It seemed to falter
-and cling within their little radius, then run back
-to his ears&mdash;a fledgeling effort. But the deep baying<span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</span>
-of the steamer answered at last. Even that
-could not hold Bellair’s thoughts.... She was
-coming straight toward them now. If it were
-death and illusion, so be it; at least that is what he
-saw.</p>
-
-<p>“It would be all right&mdash;except for him,” Bellair
-said to the woman.</p>
-
-<p>“I tell you all is well,” said Fleury. “Only I
-ask&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” they said, when he paused.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t let them separate us&mdash;when we are on
-board the ship to-night. I want to be with you
-both to-night&mdash;we three who have seen so much
-together&mdash;and the little man.”</p>
-
-<p>... They heard her bells and the slackening
-of the engines. She was coming in softly like
-an angel, bringing the different life, a return to
-earth it was. The woman was weeping. Bellair
-could not have spoken without tears....</p>
-
-<p>Just now through the evening purple, he saw
-<i>that</i> star in the east, off the point of the steamer’s
-prow.</p>
-
-<p>“Fleury,” he said, “tell me&mdash;what is that one&mdash;that
-pure one&mdash;I have forgotten?”</p>
-
-<p>The preacher’s eyes followed his finger.</p>
-
-<p>“That is Spika&mdash;Spika of the Virgin,” he said.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">12</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The engine had stopped. She neared in the deep
-dusk, a harp of lights, and with the steady sound
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</span>of a waterfall.... She was just moving. There
-was a hail from the heights.</p>
-
-<p>“Hai!” answered Bellair. It was a poor,
-broken sound.</p>
-
-<p>Now they felt the strange, different heat of the
-steamer&mdash;earth-heat&mdash;and a thousand odours registered
-on their clean senses&mdash;milk and meat, coal-smoke,
-and the steam of hot ashes, perfumes,
-metal and paint.... A hoarse voice called
-down:</p>
-
-<p>“Are any of you sick&mdash;infectious?”</p>
-
-<p>“No&mdash;just hunger and thirst&mdash;clean as a new
-berth.”</p>
-
-<p>It was Bellair again.</p>
-
-<p>“Stay off well. We’re putting down a ladder.
-Watch the green light.”</p>
-
-<p>They saw it come down to them&mdash;to the very
-water. Then they were uplifted. This was the
-world coming back&mdash;but a changed world. A
-great kindness had come over all men. Bellair
-saw the tears in the eyes of the people gathered
-on the deck. He almost expected to see Bessie
-Brealt there.... Perhaps the change had
-come from her singing.... There was a choke
-in the voices of the people gathered around
-them.</p>
-
-<p>“Please,” he managed to say, “don’t keep us
-apart to-night&mdash;we three. Please let us be together.”</p>
-
-<p>And down the deck-passage he heard the voices
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</span>of women, and among them, the Faraway
-Woman’s voice, in answer:</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I will go with you thankfully&mdash;but not
-for long. My companions and I must be together
-very soon. We three&mdash;to-night&mdash;it is promised
-between us.”</p>
-
-<p>There was no voice from Fleury.</p>
-
-<p>The kindness of every one, that was like a
-poignant distress to Bellair. He dared not speak;
-in fact, there was danger of him breaking down
-even without words. The eyes about him were
-searching, in their eagerness to help. An Englishman
-came forward at intervals and gripped his
-hand; a German spoke to others of the remarkable
-condition of the boat and its three, after ten
-days; another German moved in and out helping,
-without any words, though his eyes lifted Bellair
-over several pinches of emotion. The American
-ship-doctor was the best of all; young, gruff,
-humorous, quick-handed, doing and saying the
-right thing.... They brought him stimulants
-and sups of water by the teaspoon. The merest
-aroma of thin broth in the bottom of a tea-cup was
-lifted to his lips. He was helped to a hot bath; a
-splendid quiet friendliness about it all. Now it
-occurred to Bellair that they were tremendously
-eager to hear his story. He wanted to satisfy
-them....</p>
-
-<p>“It was the fifth day&mdash;that Stackhouse died,”
-he was saying, though he was mistaken. “Perhaps<span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</span>
-you’ve heard of him ... owns a lot of ships
-and islands down here.... That was the climax
-for us. He died hard and he was a big man&mdash;but
-we did not murder him.... His body did not
-sink....”</p>
-
-<p>There was a boom of running water in the bathroom;
-the steam rising. Bellair’s voice was ineffectual.
-The face of the ship-surgeon bent to
-him in the steam, saying:</p>
-
-<p>“Cut it&mdash;there’s plenty of time.... Leave it
-all to us.... I say, lean back. You’ve got a
-bath coming. Guess you’ve never been on a sick-list
-before. We can wait for the story.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair did try to lean back. One by one, the
-sheathes of will power that he had integrated in
-the past ten days relaxed. It was strange to feel
-them go. They had come hard, and they were
-correspondingly slow to ease in their grip. He
-had to be told again and again&mdash;to be helped to
-rest. It was good to think that a man does not
-lose such hard-won strength more easily than it
-comes&mdash;that one, in fact, has to use the same force
-to relax with. It was all delightful, this friendliness,
-the ease of his body, and the giving&mdash;the
-giving into human arms of great kindliness, and
-the sense of the others being cared for similarly.
-They had fixed a berth for him, when he said:</p>
-
-<p>“You know we are to be together to-night. It
-was a compact between us&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The surgeon was out and in. It occurred to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</span>Bellair that he was attending the other two....
-He repeated his wish to the surgeon about joining
-the others as soon as possible.</p>
-
-<p>“They’re all alike,” the latter said. “They’re
-all thinking about getting together again....
-Good God, man, you’ve had ten days of steady
-company. You ought to sleep&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It is a compact between us.... Is he&mdash;is
-he?”</p>
-
-<p>It came to Bellair that this man might be able
-to tell him the truth, but the surgeon was now
-at the door speaking to one of the Germans. He
-vanished without turning....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They were together later in one of the empty
-cabins of the German liner, <i>Fomalhaut</i>, bound
-for Auckland; and only the American doctor came
-and went. The child was asleep in the berth beside
-Fleury. The two others sat near.</p>
-
-<p>The extraordinary moonlight of the night before,
-when Bellair had awakened to find the
-preacher at prayer, had left the spirit of its radiance
-upon Fleury’s face. It was there now&mdash;and
-such a different face from which his eyes, falsified
-by New York, had seen at first. This was the
-real Fleury&mdash;this lean, dark, white-toothed
-gamester, features touched by some immortal glow
-from that orient moon; whose smile and the quality
-of every word and gesture, had for him a
-gleam of inspiration and the nobility of tenderness.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</span>
-The man had risen in Fleury&mdash;that was
-the secret. And this that had risen in Fleury could
-not die.</p>
-
-<p>But the flesh was dying. Bellair had known it
-in the dusk while the steamer neared. He knew
-that the woman understood&mdash;from her face which
-leaned toward the berth continually, from the
-suffering in her eyes and the dilation of sensitive
-nostrils.... For ten days, as much as he could,
-Fleury had betrayed himself. Custodian of the
-food and water, he had served them well. And
-that day of the Stackhouse passing&mdash;if it were not
-all a hideous dream, as Bellair fancied at times&mdash;he
-had not given a balance of strength that had
-not returned, to fight off the will of the Intruder.</p>
-
-<p>The flesh was dying, but this that had risen in
-Fleury could not die. Their other companion
-had gone down, clothed in hair and filth and the
-desire of a beast, taking the remnant of the man
-with it.</p>
-
-<p>Thus it had come to Bellair&mdash;the vivid contrast
-of cavern and high noon. It was all in the
-two deaths, the enactment of the second, as yet
-unfinished.... New York and all life moved
-with countless tricks and lures to make a man
-lose his way, lose his chance to rise and die with
-grace like this. New York was like one vast Lot
-&amp; Company.</p>
-
-<p>Fleury’s head was upon the knees of the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</span>woman. Bellair had not seen her take him. For
-this last hour, the three were as one. There was a
-cry from Bellair that the woman heard all her
-days:</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Fleury, do you have to go?”</p>
-
-<p>So far as time measures, the silence was long
-before Fleury answered, and then only to say:</p>
-
-<p>“Take my hand, Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p>He came up from a deep dream to obey. It had
-been as if he were out under the stars again,&mdash;Fleury
-talking from the shadows near the woman&mdash;the
-rest, vastness and starlight.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s the <i>too-great</i> light, Bellair. It came when
-I could stand it. As soon as I could love you
-enough I could pray. It is the loss of the sense
-of self that made it wonderful. The Light and
-His voice came from ahead.</p>
-
-<p>“‘<i>I am here for those who look ahead, and
-for those who turn back two thousand years, I
-am there. Those who love one another find me
-swiftly.</i>’... This is dying of happiness.”</p>
-
-<p>In the silence, the low lights of the cabin came
-back for their eyes. They heard him say at the
-last:</p>
-
-<p>“... I love you both and respect and thank
-you both. We found our happiness in the open
-boat.... And Bellair, when you go back to
-New York, do not stay too long. It is right for
-you to go, but do not stay too long.... And
-dear Bellair&mdash;always follow the Gleam.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</span></p>
-<p>The Doctor came. It was his step in the passage
-that roused them. He bent to the face, then
-searched the eyes of the woman. She could not
-find his.... Bellair was puzzled. The head
-was in her lap, yet the preacher seemed behind
-them, and still with something to say. They were
-not sure at first that it was the Doctor who asked:</p>
-
-<p>“Why did you not call me?”</p>
-
-<p>He repeated the question.</p>
-
-<p>“He told us&mdash;you would come afterward,” Bellair
-said in a dazed way.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he wanted it so,” said the woman.</p>
-
-<p>The Doctor stared at them. “Are you two going
-to pull off anything further to-night, or are
-you going to get the rest you need, and attend to
-the nourishment you need?”</p>
-
-<p>“We’re under orders now, Doctor,” said Bellair....</p>
-
-<p>“If I should want him in the night&mdash;if I should
-be frightened, you would let him come?”</p>
-
-<p>It was the Faraway Woman who asked this of
-the Doctor, her hand touching Bellair’s sleeve.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, of course,” the Doctor answered
-quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ve been together in strange things,” Bellair
-explained. “And now you see, our friend is
-gone.”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The door was open between their cabins, but
-Bellair was not called. Once he heard the child
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</span>cry, but it was quickly hushed.... He thought
-it must be near morning at last, and went on deck.
-He was not suffering, except from lassitude, deep
-languor and numbing strangeness that Fleury was
-not near him&mdash;that the woman was not sitting in
-her place forward.... It was just after midnight,
-the moon still high, the weather the same.
-... He was not seen. Three men were seated
-smoking in the lee of one of the engine-room funnels,
-the light from the dining-saloon on their
-knees. The Doctor joined them, and said presently:</p>
-
-<p>“... It’s a bit deep for me. They’ve been in
-an open boat ten days. Old Stackhouse, well-known
-down here, died of thirst the fourth or
-fifth day, but these two and the infant have lived
-through it. The preacher looked all right, but
-seems to have suffered a fatal case of happiness
-since we lifted him aboard. The two knew it
-was coming apparently, and arranged for me to
-be absent.... It appears that they made a sort
-of pilgrimage to Mecca out of thirst and starvation,
-and got away with it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair withdrew softly.</p>
-
-<p>In the long next forenoon when he could not
-rise, he wished he had gone into that open door,
-when he was on his feet last night. Sometimes
-half-dreamily he wished he were back in the open
-boat, because she was always there. Something
-had taken establishment in his character from
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</span>that ten days. She had never failed&mdash;in light or
-dark, in the twilights of dawn and evening, in
-moon and star and sunlight&mdash;always there; disclosing
-leisurely some new aspect of beauty for
-him. He understood now that one does not begin
-to see clearly any object until one is attracted
-to it&mdash;that all the cursory <i>looking at things</i> around
-the world will not bring them home to the full
-comprehension.</p>
-
-<p>... He could call to her, but it was like telephoning.
-He had never liked that, and beside he
-was not the master of his voice. It would not go
-straight, but lingered in corners, broke pitifully&mdash;so
-that he knew it frightened her&mdash;and the
-meanings in his mind which he could not speak,
-pressed the tears out of his eyes.... Then there
-was pain. His body astonished him. He had
-merely been weak and undone last night, but to-day....
-And he knew that she was suffering,
-not from any sound from her cabin, but because
-she did not come. Then <i>they</i> had to feed the
-child. This filled him with a rebellion so sharp
-that it recalled him to full faculties for a second.
-He had to smile at his absurdity.</p>
-
-<p>The second day it was the same, but the third
-Bellair arose; and when she heard his step, her
-call came. It was still early morning. He found
-the child before he looked into her face.</p>
-
-<p>“I am ashamed to be so weak,” she said. “But
-to-day&mdash;a little later&mdash;he said I could rise. We
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</span>are to be on deck for a half-hour after dinner,
-he told me.”</p>
-
-<p>“The little Gleam&mdash;&mdash;” said Bellair....</p>
-
-<p>She was whiter, more emaciated than when they
-sighted the <i>Fomalhaut</i>. There had been a crisis
-that they had not expected in the relinquishment
-of their will-powers.... Yet he saw how perfectly
-her face was fashioned.... Her hand
-came up to him, warm from the child, the sleeve
-falling back to her shoulder&mdash;held toward him,
-palm upward. As he took it, all strangeness and
-embarrassment left him, and he was something
-that he had not been for five years, something
-from the Unknowable. But that was not all. He
-looked into her eyes and met something untellably
-familiar there.</p>
-
-<p>A most memorable moment to Bellair.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They were on deck together in the afternoon,
-the American doctor helping them. They heard
-sacred music&mdash;as he walked between them aft.
-They reached the rail of the promenade overlooking
-the main-deck.... A service was being intoned
-in German. Passengers and crew were below,
-and in the midst&mdash;leaded and sewn in canvas,
-in the cover of a flag&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>The sound that came from the woman was not
-to be interpreted. She turned and left them. Bellair
-would have followed but he felt a courtesy
-due the Doctor, who had arranged for them not
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</span>to miss the ceremony. Perhaps he had held the
-ceremony until they could leave the cabin. Yet
-Bellair had already turned away.</p>
-
-<p>“Good God&mdash;&mdash;” said the American. “You
-people have got me stopped. I thought this was
-a trinity outfit&mdash;that we picked up.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair took his hand. “It was&mdash;but our friend
-left us.”</p>
-
-<p>The Doctor glanced at him curiously, and
-pointed down to the body already upon the rail.
-“I suppose <i>that</i> has nothing to do with him?” he
-remarked.</p>
-
-<p>“Not now&mdash;not to watch,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll understand you sometime,” the other
-added. “Go to her. You’ll probably find her
-waiting for you forward.”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Bellair lay in his berth that night, the open
-door between, and he thought of that first real
-look that had passed between them. “I’m not just
-right yet from the open boat,” he reflected. “I’m
-all let down from starvation, a bit wild with
-dreams and visions, but I saw old joys there and
-old tragedies, and mountains and deserts and&mdash;most
-of all, partings. I wonder what I’ve got to
-do with them all? It seemed to me that I belonged
-to some of those partings&mdash;as if I had
-hungered with her before and belonged to her
-now&mdash;and yet&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Fleury came into his thoughts. “They were
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</span>certainly great together. It seemed to me that
-I did not belong when they were together; and
-yet, this morning as I looked down at her&mdash;well,
-something of expectancy was there&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair found himself lying almost rigid in the
-intensity of his hope. Then his thoughts whirled
-back to New York&mdash;all unfinished. There was
-something in his heart for Bessie&mdash;and something
-in the wallet for Bessie. That was in the original
-conception, and he must not fail in that; and then
-he must clean that name, Bellair, from the black
-mark Lot &amp; Company had traced across it. For
-a moment he fell to wondering just how he would
-go about that. Lot &amp; Company was tight and
-hard to move.... A moment later he was somewhere
-in an evil and crowded part of New York,
-in the dark, Davy Acton holding him fast by
-the hand.</p>
-
-<p>“... something of expectancy.”... Was
-it in her eyes, or in her lips? Her whole face
-came to him now, a picture as clear as life. He
-had dwelt upon her eyes before&mdash;and that billowy
-softness of her breast, as she lay&mdash;he had
-not thought of that. It was like something one
-says to another of such moment, that only the
-meaning goes home&mdash;the words not remembered
-until afterward. And her mouth&mdash;it was like a
-girl’s, like a mother’s too, so tender and <i>expectant</i>.
-... That word thrilled him. It was the key to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</span>it all.</p>
-
-<p>He was farther and farther from sleep&mdash;listening
-at last with such intensity that it seemed
-she must call.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">[Pg 194-197]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_FIVE_THE_STONE_HOUSE_I">PART FIVE<br />
-THE STONE HOUSE: I</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">T</span>he</span> woman awed him quite as much as
-in the open boat. The turning of her
-profile to the sea had for Bellair a significance
-not to be interpreted exactly,
-but it had to do with firmness and aspiration and
-the future. Fleury was in their minds more than
-in speech. She could speak of him steadily, and
-this during the sensitiveness of convalescence
-which is so close to tears. Perhaps they found
-their deepest joy in the child’s fresh blooming.
-The ship’s people were an excellent company.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s mind adjusted slowly, and by a rather
-intense process, to the fact of the Stackhouse wallet.
-It was all that the great wanderer had said.
-The woman accepted the lifted condition, but it
-seemed hard for her faculties to establish a relation
-with temporal plenty. Fleury had given
-them each a greater thing. They were one in
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</span>that&mdash;keen and comprehensive; indeed their
-minds attacked with vigour and ardour this one
-thought: somehow to help in drawing off the
-brimming sorrows of the world.</p>
-
-<p>It came all at once to Bellair that this was no
-new conception. He had heard and read of
-<i>helping</i> all his life. A touch, queerly electric,
-had come over him as a boy, when a certain old
-man passed, and some one whispered in the most
-commonplace way, “His whole thought is for
-others.”... He had read it in many books;
-especially of late, the note had been sounded. It
-was getting into the press&mdash;some days on every
-page. All the cultic and social ports, into which
-he had sailed (like a dingy whaler, he thought)
-had spoken of brotherhood, first and last.</p>
-
-<p>Did a thing like this have to be talked by the
-few for several thousand years before it broke
-its way into the conception of the many, and
-finally began to draw the materials of action together?
-It had not been new in certain parts
-of the world two thousand years ago when Jesus
-brought the perfect story of it, and administered
-it through life and death. Had there been too
-much speech and too little action since; or did
-all this speech help; the result being slow but
-cumulative, toward the end of the clearly-chiselled
-thought on the part of the majority that would
-compel the atoms of matter into action, making
-good all thoughts and dreams?... He knew
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</span>men who sat every Sunday listening courteously
-to more or less inspired voices that called upon
-them to <i>Love One Another</i>; yet these men, during
-the next six days, moved as usual about their
-work of rivalry and burning personal desire. Why
-was this?</p>
-
-<p>The answer was in his own breast. He had
-made a mental conception of the good of turning
-the force of one’s life out to others, but he had
-not lived it; had never thought seriously of living
-it, until now that the results had been shown him,
-as mortal eyes were never given before to see.
-That was it; men required more than words.
-Would something happen to bring to all men at
-last the transfiguring facts as they had been
-brought to him in the open boat&mdash;squarely, leisurely,
-one by one? He was not different from
-many men. Given the spectacle of the fruits of
-desire and the fruits of compassion side by side,
-as he had been forced to regard them&mdash;any one
-would understand.</p>
-
-<p>The woman was one of those who had got it
-all long ago. She had ceased to speak of it much,
-but had put it into action. The child was a part
-of her action, and his own love for her&mdash;that new
-emotion, deeper than life to him. She had mainly
-ceased to speak.... Action and not speech had
-been the way of Fleury, his main life-theme, his
-first and last words. Formerly Fleury had spoken,
-and then emerged into the world of action. It
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</span>had been tremendous action&mdash;for them. These
-things never die.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s the beauty of them,” he said aloud.
-“These things never die.”</p>
-
-<p>“You were thinking of <i>him</i>?” the Faraway
-Woman said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The <i>Fomalhaut</i> left them at Auckland&mdash;insular,
-high and breezy between its harbours and
-warm to the heart, from the southern summer.
-They took the train to Hamilton, near where she
-had lived....</p>
-
-<p>“It seems so long since I was a part of the life
-here,” she told him, as they climbed a hill by the
-long road&mdash;the same upon which Olga’s Guest
-had come, “and yet it really isn’t. You can see&mdash;how
-little the Gleam is. He was born here....
-There was so much to learn. It has been like
-a quick review of all life. When I think of it&mdash;and
-feel the child alive, unhurt&mdash;oh, do you know
-what it makes me want to do?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was thinking of Fleury. He sensed her
-emotion, as he shook his head.</p>
-
-<p>“It makes me want to work for you.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair placed her saying to the account of her
-fine zeal for the good of the nearest. He was
-very far from seeing anything heroic in his part
-of the ten days.... They had paused on the
-little hill back of the settlement where she had
-lived. With all her coming home, she met no
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</span>acquaintance while he was with her. It was as
-if she had come to look, not to enter.... But
-there were two days in which she went forward
-alone, and Bellair got a foretaste of what it would
-mean to be separated. It called to him all the
-strength that he had earned.... The Faraway
-Woman came back to Hamilton where he waited&mdash;as
-one who had hastened. The child was
-asleep, and they walked out into the streets together....</p>
-
-<p>They were alone again as in that first night on
-board the <i>Fomalhaut</i> when Fleury left them.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you want to stay to make your house near
-the Hamilton road?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>She regarded him quietly, her eyes fixed upon
-his face with an incommunicable yearning.</p>
-
-<p>“No.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to stay in New Zealand?”</p>
-
-<p>Again she held him with her eyes, before answering:</p>
-
-<p>“It may be well for me here, as anywhere. I
-could not stay in America.”</p>
-
-<p>The sun was setting. It was she who broke the
-silence:</p>
-
-<p>“<i>You</i> must go away?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. You knew that from <i>him</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>“From what he said&mdash;yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“He told me not to stay too long.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps he saw it all. Perhaps he saw something
-that would keep you.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</span></p>
-
-<p>“He saw a very great deal.”</p>
-
-<p>They had been gone two hours. Her steps
-quickened, when she thought of the child....
-“Yes, I may as well stay in Auckland,” she said.
-“Do you know, I should like to stay by the sea&mdash;to
-be near it, for remembering&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>That seemed to come very close to Bellair’s
-conviction&mdash;that her whole life was turned to the
-saint who had passed.</p>
-
-<p>“A little house by the sea,” he said, his mind
-picturing it eagerly to relieve the greater matter.</p>
-
-<p>“Just what I was thinking&mdash;a little place out
-of Auckland on the bluffs&mdash;overlooking Waitemata&mdash;where
-one could see the ships coming
-in&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you let me help you find it, and arrange
-your affairs?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing could be happier for me&mdash;if you
-would.”</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll go back to Auckland to-night, and start
-out looking from there.”</p>
-
-<p>Mainly they followed the shore during their
-days of search; but sometimes they found woods
-and little towns. There was no coming to the
-end of her; she put on fresh perfections every
-day, and there were moments in which he was
-meshed in his own stupidity for not seeing the
-splendour of her at the first moment. He became
-possessed of a healthful wonder about women&mdash;how
-men like himself wait for years for some companion-soul,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</span>
-finally believing her to be in the sky,
-only to find that <i>the nearest</i> was waiting all the
-time. The world is so full of illusions, and a
-man’s mind is darkest when it seems most clear.</p>
-
-<p>The days were like entering one walled garden
-after another, always her spirit vanishing at the
-far gate. Beside him was a strong frail comrade,
-loving the water and air and sky and wood, as
-only a natural woman can love them&mdash;her eyes
-shining softly, her lips parted and red as the
-sleeping child’s. He was struck with the miracle
-of her mouth’s freshness. It was like the mouth
-of a city-bred woman, a woman who had forced
-her way for years through the difficult passages
-of a man’s world, who had met the fighting of
-the open, and the heavier-line fighting of solitude....
-Here Bellair’s diffidence intervened. Moreover,
-it was a mouth that could say unerring
-things.</p>
-
-<p>“She is a fine weave,” he would say, after the
-partings at night.</p>
-
-<p>She held through every test. The enthralling
-advance guard never failed&mdash;that winged immortal
-something ahead. Often in some little inn
-or in the hotel at Auckland during the nights, he
-found himself in rebellion because he could not
-go to her. Always in the open boat he had awakened
-to find her there, and on the night that
-Fleury passed, she had asked to have him within
-call&mdash;but those times were gone. The world had
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</span>intervened that little bit.... There was one
-summer day and a bit of forest to enter, a moment
-surpassing all. Her arms and fingers, her eyes
-and breast were all fused with emotions. She gave
-him back his boyhood that afternoon in a solemn
-wordless ceremony, but all his diffidence of boyhood
-came with it.</p>
-
-<p>The woods were full of fairies to her; there
-were meanings for her eyes in the drift of the wind
-over the brown pools. She caught the woodland
-whispers, was a part of sweet, low vibrations of
-the air.... Her eyes had come up to his, fearless
-and tender; yet for the life of him, he could
-not have been sure that they wanted anything
-he could give. For the first time he marvelled
-now at the genius of self-protection which women
-have put on, instinct by instinct, throughout all
-this age of man, this age of muscle and brain, in
-which the driving spirit of it all has no voice....
-There was one branch above her that was
-like hawthorn, and full of buds. The little Inverness
-cape that she wore was tossed back, and
-her arms were held up to the branches....
-Strangely that instant he thought of her story&mdash;the
-coming of The Guest&mdash;the thought she had
-held all the years, the strange restless beauty of its
-ideal&mdash;the mothering beauty of it that seemed to
-him now endless in power. Such a mystery came
-to him from her arms&mdash;as if she were holding
-them up to receive perfection, some great spiritual
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</span>gift.... It was startlingly native to her, this
-expectancy&mdash;the pure receptivity of it, and the
-thought of beauty in her mind. A woman could
-command heaven with that gesture, he thought,
-and call to earth an archangel&mdash;if her ideal were
-pure enough.</p>
-
-<p>A sudden gust of love came over him for her
-child. He thought he had loved it before, but it
-was startling now, filling him, turning his steps
-back toward the place where it lay....</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">And all the time that they were searching widely
-from Auckland for their house, a little Englishwoman,
-growing old, sat waiting for them within
-an hour’s ride from the city. They found her at
-last and her stone cottage, rarely attractive in its
-neglect; and from the door-yard, an Odessian vista
-of sky and harbour and lifted shore-line....
-They had even passed it before, their eyes
-turned farther afield. Bellair couldn’t ignore the
-analogy of the nearest woman, nor the stories of
-all the great spiritual quests&mdash;how the fleeces on
-a man’s doorstep turn golden, if he can only
-see.</p>
-
-<p>“I knew some one would come,” the little
-woman said. She had a mole on her nose and
-eyes that twinkled brightly. “In fact, I prayed.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair smiled and thought of Fleury’s saying&mdash;that
-those who turn back two thousand years
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</span>would find Him.... She had kept a boarding-house,
-and now the work was too much. Besides,
-the children of a younger sister back in the home
-in Essex were calling to her.</p>
-
-<p>“They need me in England,” she repeated.
-“And here, I have been unable to keep up the little
-house. I am too old now. My young men were
-so dear about it, but I was not making them comfortable.
-One’s heart turns home at the
-close&mdash;&mdash;” She thought they did not understand;
-and explained all the meanings carefully&mdash;how in
-age, the temporal needs are not so keen, and the
-mind wanders back to the elder places.... Bellair
-stood apart, knowing that the two women
-could manage better alone.... The cottage
-faced the east a little to northward, and had been
-built of the broken rocks of the bluff and shore,
-its walls twenty inches thick and plastered on
-the stone within. The interior surprised them
-with its size, two bedrooms facing the sea and
-two behind, beside the living room (for dining,
-too, according to the early design) and the kitchen.
-They took it as it was, furniture and all, and
-loved the purchase.</p>
-
-<p>For several days she remained with them,
-helped and explained and amplified&mdash;suggesting
-much paint. Each day for an hour or so, there
-were tears. She had found her going not so easy,
-and the process was slow to accustom herself to
-the long voyage; the sense of detachment could
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</span>not be hurried. She wanted them to see her whole
-plan of the place. Her dream had been to have
-evergreens cut in patterns and flower-beds in stars
-and crescents. Meanwhile with her years had
-grown up about her the wildest and most natural
-garniture of the stone cottage; vines and shrubs,
-the pines putting on a sumptuousness of low
-foliage altogether unapproved.</p>
-
-<p>Gradually it was all forgotten but the long
-voyage, and Bellair could help in making the details
-of that as simple and desirable as possible.
-In fact, he went with her to the ship....</p>
-
-<p>“She was dear to us, and we shall miss her
-always,” the Faraway Woman said that night....
-She would never come back. It was a parting,
-but the very lightness of it moved them.
-They wondered if they had done all they could.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m so glad the means were not at hand for
-her to paint the stone-work,” Bellair said firmly.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m afraid she would think we lack interest,”
-the woman added, as she glanced at the smoky
-beams of the ceiling. The years had softened
-them perfectly.</p>
-
-<p>“She wanted them washed the very first thing,”
-said Bellair, “and varnished. If she had stayed
-much longer we would have been forced to paint
-something.”</p>
-
-<p>In the days that followed, a softness and summery
-bloom came continually to the Faraway
-Woman’s eyes. His heart quickened when she
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</span>turned to him. They moved in and out from the
-cottage to grounds, again and again.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s unreal to me,” she would say. “I wonder
-if it will ever seem ours? I know it won’t, while
-you are away. I could live here fifty years until
-I seemed a part of the cottage and grass and
-trees, and I would feel a pilgrim resting&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It is part of you now, and always has been,”
-he said. “You are at home on high ground and
-you must have the sea-distance. They belong to
-you. I think that is what made you so hard for
-me to understand.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was I hard for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“I was so fresh from the little distances and
-the short-sight of things&mdash;from looking
-down&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if any one ever was so willing to be
-seen on his worst side?” she asked. “I really believe
-you know very little about yourself....
-He saw&mdash;the real side.”</p>
-
-<p>“He saw good everywhere,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“... I wonder why I was strange to you at
-first?” she repeated, after a moment. “You were
-not strange to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not when I spent so much time at the great
-cane chair?”</p>
-
-<p>“No. You seemed to be studying. I could
-see that you didn’t belong there. You appeared
-to be interested in it all&mdash;as if he were a part
-of the ship&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</span></p>
-
-<p>“And you didn’t seem to belong at all to my
-eyes,” he told her. “You belonged out in the
-distances of ocean. You came closer and closer
-during the days in the open boat&mdash;but here you
-belong. It seems to me that you have come home&mdash;and
-how I wish I could stay, too.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish you could stay&mdash;but I know that there
-is unfinished work in New York.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder how <i>he</i> knew?” Bellair questioned.</p>
-
-<p>“He saw very clearly. He was not flesh at all&mdash;that
-last day&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“After the night&mdash;when he prayed.... You
-saw him that night?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>Her innate sense of beauty startled him afresh
-every day. All that he idealised was an open book
-to her. Bellair had planned his house in the New
-York room. The greatest houses are planned so,
-by those who suffer and are confined. It had not
-come to him in the form of this stone cottage by
-the sea. This was not his dream that had come
-true here, although in many ways it was fairer
-than his dream. Very plainly, this little rock-bound
-eyrie was of her fashioning&mdash;the very
-atoms of it, drawing together to conform with the
-picture in her mind. He loved the place better
-so. Perhaps her thought of a home had been the
-stronger.</p>
-
-<p>“It is almost perfect now,” she would say.
-“The neglect has made it right. A few roses, some
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</span>bee-hives, vines and perennials&mdash;the rest is just
-clearing and cleansing. I could go over all the
-leaves and branches with a soapy sponge. The
-rest is to prune and thin and cleanse&mdash;so the sunlight
-is not shut from anywhere altogether&mdash;so it
-all can breathe&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He caught the picture in her mind&mdash;foliage cut
-away for the play of sun and wind everywhere&mdash;the
-chaste and enduring beauty of leaf and
-stone and moving water. And now appeared a
-bit of her nature quite as real:</p>
-
-<p>“And then those extra two rooms, I could rent
-them and give board&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, but you don’t have to.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have always had much to do. I must have
-work now.”</p>
-
-<p>She had no realisation of property; material
-poverty was a part of her temperament. She was
-superbly well, and could only remain so by the
-expenditure of ample energy. Bellair saw the
-Martha soul, the mother of men, a breadgiver.
-He thought of the passion of men for the vine-women,
-and of the clinging sons they bear....
-He lingered over a ship, and another. They
-toiled together like two peasants in the open, the
-baby sitting in the sun, the house ashine within.
-She would have only the simple things. She
-loved fine textures, but only of the lasting fabrics
-in woods and wares. She was content to
-carry water and trim lamps. She loved the stones
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</span>and the low open fires. Often she turned away
-seaward, as he had seen her from the <i>Jade’s</i> rail,
-and from the bow seat of the open boat. Once
-in the garden, he made the child laugh, to bring
-back her eyes, and she said:</p>
-
-<p>“I love it so here, but I don’t want to love it,
-so that it would hurt terribly, if it were taken
-away.”</p>
-
-<p>This was but one side. There were other moments,
-in which Bessie and New York and all
-that he and the Faraway Woman had been,
-seemed fused into a ball of mist whirling away,
-and they stood together, man and woman, touching
-sanity at last in a world of power and glory.
-It was not then a time for words.... Once their
-hands went out together, and holding for a
-moment, Bellair had the strange sense of the self
-sinking from him. He could not feel his hand
-or any part of his being&mdash;as if it were a part of
-her, two creatures blent into one, and an indescribable
-rush of something different than physical
-vitality.</p>
-
-<p>And once sitting with her under the lamp in
-the evening, he drew again that sense of peace
-that had come in the queer darkness on the deck
-of the <i>Jade</i>. It had to do with the mountains&mdash;as
-if they had finished with the valleys, and were
-ascending together in the strong light of the mountains.</p>
-
-<p>And then there was passion&mdash;that plain,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</span>straight earth drive. Bellair was strange about
-this with the Faraway Woman. This passion
-was like the return of an old hunting companion,
-so natural in the wilds, but strange and out of
-place in his newly-ordered life. It had come from
-the Unknowable, and he had supposed it lost in
-that wilderness. It dismayed him that <i>she</i> should
-call it forth, but she called from him everything
-day by day, and no day the same. He had lost
-much of the old, but not that passion. And the
-nature of it which she called had a bewildering
-beauty.... But there was much to keep the old
-native of the wilds from really entering. The
-world would have called Bellair’s idealism <i>naïve</i>;
-and there was something of Fleury in the very
-solution of their lives&mdash;not a finger-print of passion
-in all that relation. There was the Unfinished
-Story of Ogla’s Guest. Finally there was
-the Gleam.</p>
-
-<p>Life was very full and rare to Bellair, but
-there seemed always a new ship in the harbour
-flying Blue Peter for California.... In the
-main, they forgot themselves, as unwatched man
-and woman, slept under the same roof and had
-their food together; at least, Bellair forgot it for
-hours at a time. It seemed the very nature of
-life; the purity of it all so obvious.... One
-afternoon he came up from the city in a cool
-south wind; a grey afternoon, the sunset watery
-and lemon-hued. He was thinking of the ship
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</span>that would float Blue Peter to-morrow. The
-homely scent of damp bark burning quickened his
-senses, as he crossed the yard, and he heard her
-singing to the child. Somehow the woodsmoke
-had brought back to him a Spring day in the
-northern woods&mdash;grey light and dark pools, all
-foliage baby-new, a song-sparrow pair trilling
-back and forth from edge to open....</p>
-
-<p>He saw her in one of the rare flashes of life.
-She was sitting by the fireplace, the nearest window
-across the room. Her figure was softened in
-the deep grey light to the pure sensousness of
-motherhood&mdash;except her face, hands and boots,
-and that which she held. These were mellowed
-in the faintest orange glow from the firelight.
-Her back was curved forward, her face bent to
-the baby’s head, held high in the hollow of her
-arms. The dress was caught tightly about her
-ankles&mdash;a covering pliant almost as a night-robe,
-but that was a mystery of the shadows. She was
-like the figure of some woman he had seen somewhere&mdash;some
-woman of the river-banks, but this
-a Madonna of the firelight. He passed on, and
-waited before speaking.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">They went a last time to the city.... There
-was a place for a chair, and they had seen
-an old urn in a by-street which belonged near
-the Spring. They felt that these products of
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</span>men had to be just so, and that they had
-earned a great boon in being given a part at
-stone cottage. The things that were brought there
-must endure; must reason together in long leisure
-concord, putting on the same inner hue at the
-last and mellowing together as old friends, or old
-mates. This time, Bellair’s eyes did not meet the
-city quite as before; it was not as a stranger exactly,
-who rambles through a port while his ship
-lies in the offing. His real berth was an hour’s
-ride back from the city and made of stone. Perhaps
-later he would find work to do here....
-A child passed them in the store, and brought the
-change after their purchase&mdash;a boy of twelve or
-fourteen, his face old with care. It made Bellair
-think of Davy Acton at Lot &amp; Company’s. They
-bought a bit of glass, a bit of silver, some
-linen and a rug, and rode home with their arms
-full.</p>
-
-<p>Another letter had come from one of the Island
-headquarters of Stackhouse, in answer to Bellair’s
-inquiry concerning affairs. The papers in
-the wallet had given him clues to the various
-insular interests; and the replies, without exception,
-represented the attitudes of agents ready and
-open to authority from without. Stackhouse had
-left no centre of force that appeared to have vitality
-enough to rise in its own responsibility. Bellair
-saw that sooner or later he must make a visit
-to these different interests, and that the place of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</span>the wallet for the time being, at least, amounted to
-headquarters. He wrote as explicitly as possible
-in reply to the letters, promised to call in due
-course, established a freedom where his judgment
-permitted, but felt the whole vast business very
-loosely in hand. New York was first, and it became
-very clear to him, especially on this night,
-that New York must be entered upon without
-further delay. There was a thrill of dismay in
-the thought of the weeks that had passed, and
-the dreaming. Dreams were good. He had
-needed these days; great adjustments and healings
-had taken place. It had been the pleasant
-lull between the old and new, the only rest his life
-had known, in fact. All its beauty was massed
-into the period&mdash;but the dreams must be turned
-into action now.</p>
-
-<p>A man may stay just so long in joy. There
-are moments in every life when the hour strikes
-for parting. The lover does well to leave his
-lady then quickly. There is an understanding in
-the world that the woman invariably whispers,
-<i>Stay</i>, but very often an organisation of force that
-makes austerity possible, does not come from the
-man alone. If the moment of parting passes, the
-two still lingering together, a shadow enters between
-them, blurring their faces for each other’s
-eyes, dimming the dream.</p>
-
-<p>It does not come from without. The train
-missed, the passage paid for and not connected,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</span>the column that marches away, one set broken,
-the sentry post to which a strange figure is called&mdash;these
-are but matters to laugh at afterward.
-The shadow comes between them from their own
-failure. It is slow to lift. In the final elevation
-of romance, there shows one sunken length....
-There is the moment of meeting and the moment
-of parting; that which lies between, whether
-an hour or generation, forms but the equal third,
-for the great love intervals of human kind are
-not measured by time, but by the opening of
-the doors of the heart. By the very laws of our
-being, the doors draw together against rapture
-prolonged. The man who crosses the world to
-live one day with his sweetheart, sees her at last
-in the doorway or the trysting-place as he cannot
-see her again; and in the tear of parting, something
-different of her, something that has been
-occulted, clears magically for his eyes. It must
-not blind him to remain, for it is her gift to abide
-with him over the divide. It passes, not to come
-again if he remains; rapture falls into indulgence;
-the fibre of integrity weakens and lets them down
-into mere mortals. Man is not ready for the real
-revelation of romance in whom a master does not
-arise at the stroke.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>That night there was a <i>mew</i> at the door. They
-had finished tea and were sitting by the fire. The
-woman opened the door and a young tabby-puss
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</span>walked leisurely in, moved in a circle about the
-room, tail held high. Chair and table and lounge,
-she brushed against, standing upon her toes, eyes
-blinking at the fire. The woman brought a saucer
-of milk. The visitor drank, as if that were all
-very well, but that she could have done well
-enough until breakfast. Apparently it was not
-her way to land upon friends in a starving condition.
-Before the fire, she now sat, adding a point
-to her toilet from time to time, inspecting it carefully
-and long. Finally she turned to the woman,
-hopped upon her knee and settled to doze. She
-had accepted them, and they called her <i>Elsie</i>.</p>
-
-<p>“Little-Else-to-do,” said the woman.</p>
-
-<p>They stood beside the child’s bed later that
-night.</p>
-
-<p>It rained, and the home closed in upon them
-with its cheer and humble beauty. He saw her
-hand now in everything&mdash;even the rungs of the
-chairs shone in the firelight. The hearth was
-swept. Her face&mdash;it was a place of power, and
-such a fusion of tenderness was there, the eyes
-pure and merciful. All that he had known before
-her coming was unfinished, explanatory. She had
-shown him what a human adult woman should
-be in this year of our Lord. His soul yearned
-to her; his whole life nestling to this place of
-hers&mdash;as her stone cot nestled to the cliff....
-She was always very quiet about her love for the
-child when he was near. That was because he
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</span>loved the Gleam so well.... Yet he had seen
-the Firelight Madonna.</p>
-
-<p>“You have made it all I can do&mdash;to go away,”
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>“I have thought of that&mdash;I might have made
-it easier. I have thought of that,” she repeated.
-“And yet&mdash;we were so tired. We seemed to need
-to be ourselves. It has been beautiful&mdash;to be
-ourselves&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It seemed to him that she came nearer, but
-that was impossible for the child was between....
-Just then his mind finished the other picture&mdash;of
-her arms held up to the hawthorn buds&mdash;a
-babe of his own in those arms! He would
-have fought to prevent its coming, but it visualised
-of itself. Had it been that which enchanted the
-woodland?... He was silent. She had become
-even more to him for this instant. He would not
-call it other than beautiful, now that it had come.
-She was more than ever the heart of mystery&mdash;the
-Quest. She knew all these things&mdash;love and
-maternity she knew; even the passionate fluting
-of Pan had quickened her eyes; and where she
-abode, there was the genius of Home.</p>
-
-<p>So slowly had it come&mdash;perhaps this was not
-all. For weeks he had stood by&mdash;day after day,
-the heart of her becoming more spacious and
-eloquent; one miracle of the woman after another&mdash;finally,
-to-night the mystery of all life
-about her, for his eyes. Yet to her it was no
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</span>mystery; she was <i>of it</i>, rhythmically so. She
-knew the dream&mdash;and the life that comes at last
-to quicken it. She could love; she could live; she
-could wait. She loved God&mdash;but loved Nature,
-too. She was spirit, but flesh, too. She was
-powerful in two worlds....</p>
-
-<p>So Bellair stood with bowed head, and though
-Bessie was forgotten, Fleury was not. It was
-still with him that Fleury and the Faraway
-Woman were fashioned for each other.... “She
-may be so wonderful to me, because she trusts me
-to understand&mdash;&mdash;” such was the essence of his
-fear. It kept his heart dumb.... That night
-she brought a pitcher of water and placed it
-upon the hearth, looked up and found him watching.</p>
-
-<p>“For the fairies,” she said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>That changed him a little, brought her nearer
-to words of his; though the effort to speak was
-like lifting a bridge. She was leaving for her
-room when he managed:</p>
-
-<p>“Day after to-morrow&mdash;the steamer. May we
-not talk to-night?”</p>
-
-<p>He saw her stop. Then she was coming toward
-him so gladly.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;you want the rest of the story?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.... I have been sorry that <i>he</i> couldn’t
-hear it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She stood before him, tall and white.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I think you are like me,” she said in a moment.
-“I think you have something behind you that you
-do not tell&mdash;something that made you what you
-are&mdash;yet greater than you seem to yourself....
-I would have told you while <i>he</i> was with us, but
-you know how the days passed and we could not
-hold our thoughts together. Then there were
-times when we could not even use our voices....
-Do you know that the world is wonderful&mdash;that
-the thousands about us do not even dream how
-wonderful it is&mdash;how tremendous even miseries
-are? Sometimes I think that the tragedies we
-meet are our greatest hours.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have met them,” he said, a part of her
-spirit almost. “I have seen them in your eyes.
-It gave me the sense of shelter with you and
-limitless understanding&mdash;-”</p>
-
-<p>“I am thankful for that,” she whispered.
-“When we have understanding, we have everything.
-Those who in their childhood are made
-to suffer horribly are often the ones who reach
-understanding. Sometimes they suffer too much
-and become dulled and dumb. Sometimes in the
-very ache of their story, which can be so rarely
-told, they risk the telling to some one not ready. It
-aches so, as its stays and stays untold. Oh, the
-whole world craves understanding, and yet if we
-tell our story to one who is not ready&mdash;we hurt
-them and ourselves, and add unto our misery.
-There are moments set apart in life in which one
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</span>finds understanding, but the world presses in
-the next day, and the story does not look so well.
-The spirit of it fades and the actions do not seem
-pure when the spirit is out&mdash;so one loses a loved
-friend. Oh, I am talking vaguely. It is not my
-way to talk vaguely&mdash;but to-night&mdash;it is like a
-division of roads, and a story is to be told&mdash;-”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think the story will diminish in my
-mind to-morrow?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“No&mdash;not you. I have seen you through the
-sunlight and the dark looking into my eyes for
-it. If I thought it would diminish in your mind&mdash;yes,
-I would tell it just the same. It must be
-told&mdash;but life would not be the same. Even this,
-our little stone cot, would not be the same. I
-should have to become harder and harder to hold&mdash;to
-follow the Gleam&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“... I shall be Olga in the rest of the story,”
-she was saying. “For I am Olga.... The
-truth is, I have no other name. There is one that
-I used, and another that I formerly used&mdash;but
-they are not mine. You shall see.... My
-father prospered with the sheep-raising, and
-slowly on the long road that you have seen, houses
-came one by one, until at last there was a village
-about us. My father was like the village father,
-and my mother the source of its wisdom in doctoring
-and maternal affairs&mdash;she had learned by
-bringing forth. But I was not of them&mdash;they all
-saw that. The coming of plenty, the coming of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</span>the people, the coming of men to woo my sisters,
-and the maidens my brothers brought for us to
-see, before they took them quite away&mdash;none of
-these things were so real to me as the coming of
-my Guest when I was such a little girl. And
-none remembered that&mdash;not even my mother.
-Until I ceased to speak of it, they tried to make
-me think it was a dream. But I knew that rapture.
-It had changed me. I was always to search
-for it again. I was always looking for another
-such night&mdash;for that afterglow again. I was the
-last child and the silent one.</p>
-
-<p>“But all that had to do with children was intimate
-and wonderful to me.... I remember once
-when we were all girls at home together, and they
-were talking&mdash;each of what she should have for
-her treasure from the household&mdash;one walnut, one
-silver, one an inlaid desk&mdash;and they turned to me
-laughingly, for I was not consulted as a rule, I
-said I wanted the little hickory cradle in an upper
-closet. It was one of those household days which
-girls remember.... All was happier then. The
-little cradle seemed like a casket in which jewels
-had come to my mother&mdash;seven times. We had
-all smiled at her first from that hickory cradle....
-I went up stairs to look at it&mdash;a dim place
-full of life and messages to me. I was weak; my
-arms ached; and it was so dear that I dare not say
-that it was mine.... My father said the cradle
-must belong to the eldest girl.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</span></p>
-
-<p>“... I began to sense the terrible actuality of
-life through the mating of Lois, ten years older,
-with a countryman who came for her. For sisters,
-Lois and I had always been far apart, and
-this stranger who wished to marry her, had nothing
-to do with life as I dreamed it&mdash;a child of
-twelve. To many, Lois was the loveliest of us&mdash;large,
-calm, dark and quiet, very well, slow of
-speech, but quick to smile. Had you visited our
-house then, you would have remembered my
-father’s patriarchal air, the smile of Lois, and the
-maternity that brooded over us all. The rest you
-would get afterward&mdash;a variety of young people
-with different faults and attractions&mdash;I the grey
-one, last to be noted. Lois was given credit for
-more than she was. I do not love brain or power,
-but I seem to love courage. Lois had something to
-take the place of these&mdash;not courage&mdash;and no,
-not power nor brain. She had sensuousness and
-appetite.</p>
-
-<p>“One night I seemed to see what the whole
-house was straining for&mdash;a kind of process of
-marriage continually afoot. Just now it was
-Lois. I remember my father being called into the
-front room where Lois and Collinge had been for
-an evening&mdash;his face beaming when he came
-forth, and my mother’s quiet sanction. There
-were conferences after that, dressmaking, the arrangement
-of money affairs. And I was suddenly
-ill with it. To me, there could be no trade or
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</span>public business. To me, it had to do with a child
-and that was consecrated ground. Oh, you must
-see it had to be different. I wanted it like a
-stroke of lightning. I did not understand but I
-wanted it like that&mdash;like a flight of swans&mdash;and
-not talk and property transactions. To me it had
-to do with rain and frost and the tides and the
-pulses of plants&mdash;the silent things. I did not
-understand&mdash;but knew that children came to those
-who took each other.</p>
-
-<p>“I remember one supper; the countryman talked&mdash;talked
-of the marriage day&mdash;the breakfast, the
-ceremony&mdash;the end and the dusk, and turned to
-Lois with sleepy half-folded eyes. She was smiling
-and flushed&mdash;and I looked from face to face
-at the table, at my sisters&mdash;and I rushed away
-because I could find nothing pure.... Some one
-said my mother never looked prettier.... I remember
-the flood of honeysuckle perfume that
-came to me in the torture of hatred, as I passed
-through the distant hall.... And then later
-from the top of the stairs, Lois and my mother
-were talking, and Lois said:</p>
-
-<p>“‘You know, Mother, we will not have children
-for the first three years, at least&mdash;&mdash;’”</p>
-
-<p>“I was somehow below by her in the lower
-hall. She seemed a rosy pig upstanding, marked
-red and flaming.... And that night long afterward,
-my mother found me and said, ‘You are
-getting beyond me, Olga.’ ... But I could only
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</span>think of men and women copying the squirrels,
-filling their bins, dressing their door-yards, reaching
-for outer things&mdash;and it was back of my very
-being&mdash;back of the mother and the patriarch&mdash;back
-of the shepherding and the folding&mdash;back
-of <i>me</i>. I hated life with destroying hatred&mdash;Lois
-wanting the seasons, but unwilling to bring forth
-fruit, accepting the countryman’s idea of life....
-Can you see that it had the look of death
-to me?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair could only bow his head. To him the
-woman was revealing the grim days through which
-she had won her poise and power.... She was
-telling another incident with the same inclination&mdash;for
-the thought of being a mother had been
-the one master of her days. He seemed to see the
-child, the girl, the younger woman about her&mdash;a
-grey-eyed, red-lipped girl, with a waist that was
-smaller and smaller as she gained in inches from
-fifteen to eighteen&mdash;madness for mothering, passionate
-in that, but not passionate for sensation&mdash;her
-face sometimes so white, that they would ask
-her mother, “Is Olga quite well?”... Yet teeming
-with that intensive health that goes with small
-bones and perfect assimilation&mdash;that finds all to
-sustain life in fruit and leaves ... books, light
-sleeping, impassioned with the lives of great
-women and the saints&mdash;one of those who come to
-the world for devotion and austerity and instant
-sacrifice; yet for none of these apart; rather a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</span>fruitful vine, her prevailing and perennial passion
-for motherhood.</p>
-
-<p>“And yet I almost ceased to breathe,” she was
-saying, “when I came to understand man’s part in
-these things. I felt <i>myself</i> differently after that&mdash;even
-children&mdash;but from this early crisis which
-so many men and women have met with untellable
-suffering, emerged a calm that could not have
-come without it. The travail brought me deep
-into the truth. For all great things the price must
-be paid&mdash;how wonderfully we learned that in
-the open boat. There are sordid processes in the
-production of all fine things&mdash;even in the bringing
-forth of a Messiah.”</p>
-
-<p>She paused, as if she saw something enter the
-eyes that had listened so fervently. Bellair
-cleared his voice. “I remember something <i>he</i>
-said,” he told her. “That matter is the slate&mdash;spirit
-the message that is written. The slate is
-broken, the message erased, but <i>eyes</i> have seen it,
-and the transaction is complete. For the spirit has
-integrated itself in expression&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I think he said it, for you to tell me now,”
-the Faraway Woman whispered.</p>
-
-<p>“Only <i>he</i> could have halted your story,” Bellair
-added.</p>
-
-<p>“... I told you when my Guest came in the
-afterglow, of the house of our nearest but distant
-neighbour; now I am telling you of years
-afterward, when there were many houses between
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</span>on the long road, and my playmate Paul had gone
-away to Sidney. Lois had long been married. I
-was seventeen&mdash;and so strangely and subtly hungering&mdash;for
-expression, for something that I did
-not know, which meant reality to me, but which
-was foreign and of no import to all about me.
-Often at evening I stared up the long road....
-I remember late one night in the nearest house, the
-soft wind brought me the cry of a child. It was
-so newly come and it was not well. I went to it
-just as I was, though the people had just moved
-in and were strange to us. It was thirst&mdash;as we
-know. I went to it, as we would have gone to a
-waterfall. The door of their house was locked,
-but I knocked. The father came down at last.
-The lower rooms were filled with unpacked boxes.
-I told him why I had come. He talked to me
-strangely. He went upstairs and sent the mother
-down to me. It did not seem as if I could live
-through that night&mdash;and not have my way. She
-put her arms about me, led me upstairs to a room
-that was not occupied&mdash;save a chair by the window.
-I stood there waiting until she returned
-with the child.... I saw lights back in our
-house when they missed me&mdash;voices, but I could
-not go. In the early light I heard the woman saying
-to my mother: ‘... We really needed her
-so. Baby was restless, but he is much better and
-quiet with her. They are very happy together....
-Yes, she is safe and well.’”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</span></p>
-
-<p>The Faraway Woman left him now to go to
-the child.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">4</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Returning, she put the kettle on, and made tea
-in the earthen pot. To Bellair her coming into
-the room again was a replenishment&mdash;as if she had
-been gone for hours; and this started a pang deep
-in his heart, which presently suffused everything
-when he realised that his ship had come for him.
-It was past midnight.... In reality it was to-morrow
-that his ship would sail.</p>
-
-<p>“You listen wonderfully,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“It seems all about the little Gleam,” he answered.
-“It makes everything significant about
-the open boat.... I forget to swallow&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>They laughed together.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know, I can hardly realise when we
-are here&mdash;that this is New Zealand?” she said
-presently, “that only a little way back is the long
-road and the river and the ravine&mdash;the neighbour’s
-house and ours and the other houses between....
-I will tell you the rest very quickly&mdash;and oh, let
-me tell you first, I am not afraid. In spite of all
-I know, I am not&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She was bending forward across the table.</p>
-
-<p>“... I was a woman when Paul came back
-from the distant city&mdash;and came first of all to
-me. He was changed&mdash;something excellent about
-his face and carriage, and something I did not
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</span>understand at all, his face deeper lined, his voice
-lower, his words ready. I did not think about
-him when he was away. In the first evenings
-we passed together, I had only an old-time laugh
-for him. I kissed him with something like affection.
-We were permitted to be alone together,
-and I saw the old look upon my father’s face&mdash;that
-I had hated so. That look&mdash;even before the
-playmate thing had departed from me. Then I
-began to <i>see</i> Paul&mdash;something I could not like
-nor understand, a readiness of words, and he was
-not wise enough to make them ring deeply. I
-seemed to be studying in him the novelty of a
-man&mdash;through the eyes of a girl.</p>
-
-<p>“One night we were together in my father’s
-house. It was our Spring and raining softly on
-the steps. The grass seemed full of odours, and
-the vines trembling with life. He kissed me there.
-It seemed that I hardly knew. I was looking over
-his shoulder into the dark, and I saw a little white
-face. It was like a rain-washed flower ... and
-to me it was quite everything.</p>
-
-<p>“... Everything that I had known and loved&mdash;compensation
-for all that I had missed and
-hungered for. Only the little face&mdash;but I knew
-the arms were held out to me.</p>
-
-<p>“Paul knew nothing of this. He was not to
-blame. It was not he, who carried me away. He
-was merely being the man he fancied&mdash;playing
-the thing as the world had taught him&mdash;showing
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</span>himself fervent and a man. I could have laughed
-at his kisses.... I have nothing against him. It
-was his way.... But once he kissed me&mdash;and it
-came to me that he was the way&mdash;that he must
-join his call to mine.... I could do all but that&mdash;I
-need not love him. Can you understand&mdash;it
-seemed as if everything was done but that&mdash;that
-the little face had already chosen me.... I sent
-him away, and I remember long afterward I was
-standing on the porch alone. It rained.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair realised now that she was watching him
-with something like anguish. A different picture
-of her came to him from that moment&mdash;filed for
-the long days apart&mdash;the rapt look of her mouth,
-and the pearl in her hair that brought out the
-lustre of whiteness from her skin&mdash;full-bosomed,
-but slender&mdash;slender hands that trembled and
-moved toward him as she spoke.... It was
-something for him&mdash;as if he had always been
-partly asleep before&mdash;as if she had brought some
-final arousing component to his being.</p>
-
-<p>“... My mother did not ask but once. When
-I told her&mdash;the horror came to me that she would
-die. I had not thought of it before. I had thought
-that it was mine&mdash;had seen very little of Paul.
-In fact, he had come several times, when I would
-not see him.... She called my father&mdash;and it
-was all to be enacted again. For a moment, I
-thought he would strike me. The most dreadful
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</span>thing to them all was that I was not ashamed.
-They felt that I was unnatural....</p>
-
-<p>“There was one high day in that little upper
-room. It was all like a prayer, when they would
-suffer me to be alone and not wring me with their
-misery&mdash;but this one high day, I must tell you. I
-stood by the window in the watery light of the
-sun from the far north. That moment the Strange
-Courage came. I felt that I could lead a nation,
-not to war, but to enduring peace; as if I had a
-message for all my people, and a courage not of
-woman’s, to tell it, to tell it again and again&mdash;until
-all the people answered. It was then that
-I understood that a man’s soul had come to my
-baby, and that it was not to be a girl, as I had
-sometimes thought.</p>
-
-<p>“And then the rest of the waiting&mdash;days of
-misery that I can hardly remember the changes
-of&mdash;yet something singing within me&mdash;I holding
-it high toward heaven as I could&mdash;singing with
-the song within. After weeks, it suddenly came
-to me what they wanted to do to hide their shame&mdash;to
-take the little child half-finished from me&mdash;to
-murder it&mdash;to hide their shame.</p>
-
-<p>“Then I told them that it had not occurred to
-me to marry Paul&mdash;that I did not love him&mdash;that
-I had loved the little child. I told them that I
-did not believe in the world&mdash;that I did not believe
-I had done wrong&mdash;that I did not believe
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</span>our old preacher who stayed so long at the table
-could make me more ready for the child. I told
-my father that I did not believe in marrying a
-man and saying that I would have no children for
-three years. I told him that I was mad for the
-child&mdash;that I was young and strong and ready to
-die for it ... that my baby wanted me, and no
-other. I would have gone away, but they would
-not let me do that. They kept me in an upper
-room. Paul had gone away ... and after
-months my father went to find him. It was sad
-to me&mdash;sadness that I cannot forget in that&mdash;my
-father taking his cane and his bag and setting
-out to find the father&mdash;heart-broken and full of
-the awfulness of being away from his home. He
-had not been away for years.... And my
-mother coming timidly to my room.... And
-then I went down like Pharaoh’s daughter to the
-very edge of the water&mdash;for, for the Gleam!”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes were shining and she laughed a little,
-looking upward as if she saw a vision of it, and
-had forgotten the room and the listening&mdash;her
-eyes as close to tears as laughter.</p>
-
-<p>“... And when I came back&mdash;it was all so
-different. I could pity them&mdash;my heart breaking
-for my father and mother, who had not the
-wonder, and only the fears. They were passing
-out&mdash;after doing their best as they saw it, for
-many, many years together&mdash;and I had brought
-them the tragedy, the crumbling of their house&mdash;a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</span>
-shame upon the patriarch of the long road, a
-blackness upon her maternities.... It was my
-father’s thought to bring Paul to me. As if I
-would have taken him, but he came&mdash;my father
-having given him much money.... Oh, do not
-be hard upon him. There is wildness in him and
-looseness, but the world had showed him the way
-and he was young. I said to him (it was within
-ten days after the coming and my father and
-mother were gone from the room), ‘I would not
-think of marrying you, Paul, but do not tell them.
-As soon as I am ready, I shall go away with you,
-and they will not be so unhappy&mdash;and as soon as
-we are well away, you shall be free. And you
-may keep the money, Paul.’</p>
-
-<p>“... And now it is like bringing you a reward
-for listening so well. I tell you now of a moment
-of beauty and wonder&mdash;such as I had known but
-once before, and was more real to me than all
-the rest. It made that which was sorrowful and
-sordid of the rest seem of little account.... It
-was early evening in the upper room and still
-light. An old servant who loved me was in the
-room, and the Gleam was sleeping&mdash;the fourteenth
-day after his coming. The woman helped
-me to a chair and drew it to the window, and
-all was hushed. Even before I looked out, an
-unspeakable happiness began to gush into my
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>“The ravine was crowding with darkness, but
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</span>the long road was full of light. The houses between
-seemed to dwindle but the distance was
-full of radiance&mdash;that perfect afterglow again.
-Not for twenty years had there been such a sunset,
-and now the sky was massed with gold of the
-purple martin’s breast, and the roof of Paul’s
-house was like two open leaves of beaten gold&mdash;everywhere
-the air filled with strange brightenings.
-The fragrance from the fields arose to meet
-the heaven falling from the sky.</p>
-
-<p>“I tried to make believe, but the road was
-empty. The Guest would never come again, and
-yet on such a night as this, he had come to me&mdash;like
-a saint that has finished his work, like a
-Master coming down a last time. All the room
-and the house was hushed behind me.... But
-the long road was empty.</p>
-
-<p>“The old servant at last could bear it no longer.
-Perhaps she thought I did not breathe. Softly
-she crossed the room to the cradle, lifted the
-Gleam and placed him in my lap&mdash;as if to call
-me back. Breath came quickly at the touch of
-him, and she must have heard a low, joyous sound
-as I felt the child. With one hand I held him,
-patting his shoulder softly, slowly, with the other,
-until the ecstasy of long ago flowed into my being.</p>
-
-<p>“There was a moment that I should have asked
-her to take the Gleam from me&mdash;had I been able
-to speak. It was such a moment that I had run
-out under the stars. But as I patted the tiny
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</span>shoulder, the burden of the ecstasy passed, and
-a durable blessedness came&mdash;the calm of great
-understanding.</p>
-
-<p>“The road&mdash;of course it was empty&mdash;for he
-had come.... I thought I had told the old
-servant, but a second time I seemed to see her
-anxious face bending so near in the dusk.</p>
-
-<p>“‘Why, don’t you see?’ I whispered. ‘He was
-looking for his mother when I found him.’”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>That was the end of the story&mdash;the rest just
-details that an outsider might ask: How she went
-away with Paul for the sake of her father; how
-he remained with her during the long voyage to
-America, but as nothing to her, more and more
-a stranger of different ways from hers&mdash;how he
-gave her but a little of the money her father had
-put in trust for her keeping&mdash;and rushed away to
-dig his grave in the city.... Then just a
-glimpse of her need and her labour and longing
-for the Island life&mdash;a dream, the <i>Jade</i>....</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">5</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">The final morning, Bellair took the babe in his
-arms and let himself down the rocky way to the
-shore. The trail was empty behind him, and
-the cottage shut off by the group of little
-pines, pure to pass through as the room of a child.
-And here were rain-washed boulders warming in
-the morning sun, and before his eyes the blue
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</span>and deep-eyed sea. It rolled up to his feet, forever
-changing with its stories and its secrets, very
-cool about them all to-day, full of mastery and
-leisure.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair sat upon a stone and looked at the child:
-“I wish you could tell me, little man ... but
-you are not telling. You know it all, like the
-sea&mdash;but you do not tell.... And I’ll see you
-so many times, when I’m away,&mdash;see you like this
-and wish many times I could hold you. For we
-were always friends, good friends. You didn’t
-ask much.... And you were fine in the pinch,
-my son.... That little cry I heard, that little
-cry.... He loved you, and promised great
-things for you. I’ve come to believe it, little man,
-for I know your mother. That’s good gambling,
-from where I stand.... He knew it first. He
-knew it all first. And you didn’t tell him....
-Oh, be all to her, little Gleam&mdash;be all to her, and
-tell her I love her&mdash;when she looks away to the
-sea. Tell her, I’ll be coming, perhaps.... I
-didn’t know I’d ever be called to kiss a little boy&mdash;but
-it’s all the same to you ... and take care
-of her for me.”</p>
-
-<p>They were standing together a last time before
-his journey. The carriage had been waiting many
-minutes. The child was propped upon the lawn,
-and Elsie was picking her steps and shaking her
-paws that met the dew under the grass. His eye
-was held over her shoulder to the weathered door
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</span>of the stone cottage. It was ajar and coppery
-brown, like the walls above the young vines. And
-over her other shoulder, too, was the brilliant
-etheric divide of the sea. He had to go back and
-stand a moment in the large room. The wind and
-the light came in; the vine tendrils came trailing
-in. He saw her books, her pictures, her chair,
-her door....</p>
-
-<p>He stood beside her again, and tried to tell her
-how moving these weeks had been.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, we have seen both sides, and this was
-the perfect side. We saw the other, well&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“And you are not caught in either&mdash;that’s what
-thrills me most,” said he. “I am always caught&mdash;in
-hunger and thirst and fear and pain&mdash;in
-beauty and possessions. But you have stood the
-same through it all&mdash;ready to come or go, ready
-for sun or storm&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“After years of changes and uncertainty, one
-comes to rely only upon the true things.”</p>
-
-<p>“I shall want to come back&mdash;before the first
-turn of the road,” he said. “I think I am hungry
-for the little house now&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She put her arms about him. His heart was
-torn, but there was something immortal in the
-moment.</p>
-
-<p>“This shall always be your home,” she said.
-“You may come back to-night&mdash;to-morrow&mdash;in
-twenty years&mdash;this is your house. I shall be here.
-I shall teach <i>him</i> to know and welcome you....
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</span>We are different. We are not strangers. We
-have gone down into the deep ways together. We
-shall always know each other, as no one else can,
-or as we can know no others. So we must be
-much to each other&mdash;and this is our home. You
-will never forget.... Oh, yes, you must come
-back&mdash;just as you must go away&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Sentence by sentence, softly, easily spoken; not
-with a great beauty of saying, but with a bestowal
-of the heart that compelled his finest receptivity.
-And she had held him as a mother might, or as
-a sister, or as a woman who loved him. There
-was something in her tenure, of all the loves of
-earth. He looked deeply into her eyes, but hers
-was the love that did not betray itself then in
-the senses. He could not know, for he would not
-trust his own heart.... But this he knew, and
-was much to ponder afterward: This which she
-gave, could not have been given, nor have been
-received, before the days of the open boat. So
-strange was the ministry of that fasting.</p>
-
-<p>They kissed, and hers so gladly given, failed
-of the secret; yet revealed to him a love that sustained,
-and sent him forth a man&mdash;such as Bellair
-had not been.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_239">[Pg 239-241]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_SIX_LOT_COMPANY_II">PART SIX<br />
-LOT &amp; COMPANY: II</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">B</span>ellair</span> reached New York on a mid-May
-morning from the west, and
-walked up Seventh avenue to his old
-room. It was a time of day that he
-had seldom known the street and step. There
-was a different expression of daylight upon them.
-Of course, he had met these matters on many Sundays,
-but Sunday light and atmosphere was invariably
-different to his eyes&mdash;something foreign
-and false about it. He saw the old hall-mark,
-however, in the vestibule&mdash;the partial sweeping....
-It had always been her way; all things a
-form. The vestibule and stone steps had to be
-swept&mdash;that was the law; to be swept with
-strength and thoroughness was secondary. He
-rang, and asked the servant for the woman of
-the house.</p>
-
-<p>Waiting, he found himself in a singular depression<span class="pagenum" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</span>
-of mind. The City had cramped and bewildered
-him. A small oval of grey-white cloud
-appeared in the dark hall. It came nearer, and
-Bellair saw the face of dusty wax&mdash;smaller, a
-little lower from his eyes. It came very near,
-and was upturned. The vision was dim, and the
-memory; all the passages slow and cluttered.</p>
-
-<p>“It is Mr. Bellair,” she said, without offering
-her hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. I’ve come back.”</p>
-
-<p>“I haven’t a room&mdash;for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I’m sorry.”</p>
-
-<p>“And about your things in storage&mdash;I would be
-glad for the space now. Could you take care of
-this to-day?’</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“I have the bill ready.”... She called the
-servant who came with the broom. “On my table
-among the papers you will find Mr. Bellair’s bill
-for storage. Please get it.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair heard the servant on the stairs, one, two,
-three flights; then a long silence. He had never
-been quite sure where the landlady slept, believing
-that she hovered from basement to sky-light according
-to the ebb and flow of the tenant tides.
-The double-doors from the hall to the lower front
-room were slightly ajar. This, the most expensive
-in the house, appeared to be vacant. The servant
-was gone a long time. The landlady did not leave
-him alone in the hall. They did not speak. The
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</span>darkness crept upon Bellair as if he were in a
-tank that was slowly but surely being filled, and
-presently would cover him. The paper was
-brought, the charge for six months’ storage,
-meagre. Bellair paid it, and offered more. He
-thought of her hard life, but the extra money was
-passed back to him.</p>
-
-<p>“I have that present in keeping,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“What present?”</p>
-
-<p>“That you gave me the night you went
-away&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But I gave it to you. Would you not take
-a little gift from one who had been in your house
-five years?”</p>
-
-<p>“Money easily got, goes the same,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p>Then Bellair realised how stupid he had been.
-She had seen the newspapers. She had been
-afraid to trust him alone in that bare hall. The
-smell of carpets stifled him.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said. “But
-hold the present a little longer. Perhaps you will
-not always feel that it came so easily. I’ll send
-for my goods at once.... Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p>“Good-bye, Mr. Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p>He was ill. The side-door of a famous hotel
-yawned to him directly across the street from his
-step. He was not sure they would take him.
-Registering, he stopped to think where he was
-from, adding Auckland, N. Z.... Yes, his bags
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</span>would be brought from the station. They
-gave him a room, and Bellair stood in the centre
-of it.</p>
-
-<p>For a few moments he actually weakened&mdash;limbs
-and mind. It wasn’t New York alone, nor
-the sordid incident across the street, reminding
-him so ruthlessly of Lot &amp; Company and all that
-had been and was still to do; rather it was a giving
-way to a loneliness that had been rising for
-almost a month, wearing him to a shadow of himself,
-and giving him battle night and morning.
-Like many another solitary young man, he had
-brooded much upon what a certain woman might
-be. He had found that in those women he met,
-certain spaces must be filled in by his own compassion&mdash;and
-these spaces did not endure. Always
-in a test they separated from the reality.
-But the Faraway Woman day by day had fulfilled;
-even where his idealism failed, she completed
-the picture of the woman above him and
-of irresistible attraction.</p>
-
-<p>She had come nearer and nearer. She was
-magic in this way. He had regarded her at first
-distantly and askance at the rail of the <i>Jade</i>. A
-gasp now came from him. That was so impossible
-and long ago.... She had not called him any
-more than a peasant woman. And yet one after
-another her rarities had unfolded; it would always
-be so. She was the very fountain of romance to
-him; the essence of whose attraction is variableness
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</span>of days. Of all the days together, there had been
-no two alike&mdash;no two hours alike. He had
-watched her face under the light&mdash;never twice the
-same. The child, the maiden, the mother, the
-love-woman, the saint&mdash;lips passional, devotional
-... then those wonder-moments when the old
-tragedies came back to her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>They stirred him as if he had known her long
-ago; and yet nothing of this had come to him at
-first. How crude and coarse he had been not to
-see. Lot &amp; Company and New York had covered
-her from his eyes. He had to fast and pray
-and concentrate upon her being, as a devotee upon
-the ball of crystal to begin upon her mysteries.
-Every man has his Lot &amp; Company, his New York&mdash;the
-forces that bind him to the world. A man
-bound to the world can see but the body of a thing&mdash;the
-paint of a picture, just the outline and pigment
-of a picture or a bit of nature&mdash;just the body
-of a woman.</p>
-
-<p>Something came to him that instant&mdash;of the
-perfect law of all things. Those caught in the
-body of events see but that, hear but that, anticipate
-but that&mdash;the very secret of all the misery
-and shortsightedness in the world. A man must
-rise, lift the centre of consciousness above the body
-of things, even to see physical matters in their true
-relation. It was all so thrillingly true to him in
-this glimpse&mdash;that a man can never see properly
-the sequence of his actions unless he can rise above
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</span>them&mdash;that those in the ruck never know what
-they are about....</p>
-
-<p>He tried to remember her face, as he stood in
-the hotel room. Failing, his mind returned to
-their days together. He was apart now and could
-view them, one by one, in their wonder and beauty.
-He was torn with them. At different times on
-the long voyage he had dwelt separately upon the
-episodes. Some had worn him to exhaustion.
-People on the ship had believed him a man with
-a great grief. At first, he looked about from face
-to face searching for some one whom he might
-tell, but there was no reception for his story. He
-had to stop and think that he was different and
-apart.... She had always been apart.</p>
-
-<p>He had carried it alone, moving hushed and
-alone with his story; lying open-eyed in his berth
-through the hours of night, and often through the
-afternoons, an open book face downward upon his
-chest, his pipe cold ... living again the different
-moments in the rooms of the stone cottage, in the
-garden, on the shore; their journeys together, their
-breakfasts and luncheons and evenings together.</p>
-
-<p>The boy was gone from him, from face and
-body. He did not know what had come instead,
-but he knew that he carried a creative image in his
-heart; something of the fragrance of her lingering
-about him. It had come to him at night alone
-on deck&mdash;the sweetness of her&mdash;on the wind. All
-that he wanted, all that he dreamed best of life
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</span>and labour and love ... and yet after all, what
-had he to do with her in relation to these intimate
-things? Friend, companion, confidante&mdash;she was
-everything that a woman could be, except&mdash;&mdash; Had
-not the substance of that kind of giving died
-for her in the passing of the preacher?...
-Something of her story frightened him. She had
-learned the ultimate realness of loving. The man
-who entered her heart now would have to come
-with an immortal seal upon him. There was but
-one who could take up the fatherhood of the
-Gleam.... Bellair did not feel the man; did
-not know what she had given him; did not know
-what had come to him&mdash;to his face and carriage
-and voice. He had not yet lifted himself above
-so that he could see. Those whom he met, however,
-were struck with a different Bellair, and
-those who could not understand thought him
-touched a little queerly&mdash;as a man after sunstroke
-or any great light.</p>
-
-<p>... It was now noon. He thought of his old
-friend, Broadwell, of the advertising-desk at Lot
-&amp; Company. Perhaps Broadwell would dine
-with him. He called. The voice came back to
-him.... Yes, he would come at once. Bellair
-asked him to the hotel. In the interval he called
-the Trust company in whose keeping the thousand
-dollar surety had been, inquiring if Lot &amp; Company
-had collected the amount. The answer was
-returned presently to the effect that Lot &amp; Company<span class="pagenum" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</span>
-had presented his release and collected the
-amount with interest four days after his departure.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair hearkened to a faint singing somewhere
-within and found it had to do with Bessie. He
-called Brandt’s and ascertained that the same
-quartette was to sing there at nine in the evening.
-This was also one of the things he had come to
-do.</p>
-
-<p>Broadwell was a trifle late, but all urbanity.
-There was something of the salesman’s manner
-and enunciation about him. Bellair fell away
-after the greeting, caught in a sort of mental
-flurry in which the picture of another luncheon
-engagement recurred to his mind&mdash;the day he
-had passed the desk and cage of Mr. Sproxley
-with the stranger named Filbrick, and his own
-telling of the cashier’s passionate honour....
-When he came back to see clearly the face of
-Broadwell, he found that he personally was being
-scrutinised with odd intensity. Could it be that
-Broadwell had something more than a personal
-friendly interest? His questions did not seem
-adroit, and yet he wanted to know so much&mdash;of
-the ship, of Auckland, but especially of this long
-drive back to New York.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you stopping here?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. My old room was just opposite, but I
-was told that the house was full.”</p>
-
-<p>“So you came here?”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“And are you going to stay in New York?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know, Ben. There are a few things
-to see to.”</p>
-
-<p>“Are you looking for a job?”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, no. Not exactly, at least.”</p>
-
-<p>Try as he might, Bellair could not feel free, as
-of old time. He felt the other wanted something,
-and this checked his every offering. He knew
-that Broadwell, at least six months before, could
-not have believed ill of Lot &amp; Company, and
-there was no apparent change. The disclosure
-of the press must have righted itself in the office
-so far as he, Bellair, was concerned; surely Broadwell
-did not share the dread of him the landlady
-had shown; and yet, it was hard to broach these
-things. The advertising-man apparently had no
-intention of doing so.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ve all missed you on the lower floor,” he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>“Are there any changes?”</p>
-
-<p>“Very few.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who took my place?”</p>
-
-<p>“Man from outside. Mr. Rawter brought in
-the man&mdash;middle-aged. Mr. Sproxley knew him,
-too.”</p>
-
-<p>“Poor devil,” said Bellair, but not audibly.
-They had not dared to open the ledger revelations
-to any one in the office, but had found a
-man outside who was doubtless familiar with
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</span>such books, doubtless one who had been deformed
-in the long, slow twistings of trade. Perhaps this
-one had children. Children were good for Lot
-&amp; Company’s most trusted servants. It was well
-to have a number of children, like Mr. Sproxley&mdash;for
-their wants are many, and a man’s soul cannot
-breathe in the midst of many wants and small
-salary.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you coming over to the office?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I find I have to. Some folks are taking
-the end Lot and Company gave the newspapers
-about my leaving. They were very much in a
-hurry about giving out that newspaper story&mdash;with
-the money in the vaults.”</p>
-
-<p>Broadwell regarded him seriously. “I suppose
-they took the point of view that there could be
-but one motive for your leaving, without giving
-notice. Most firms would&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if most firms would?” Bellair asked.
-“Men have lapses other than falling into thievery.
-At least a firm should look up the facts in the case
-first. It’s a rather serious thing to charge a man
-with departure with funds. For instance, the
-public will glance through the details of such a
-charge, and miss entirely a denial afterward. Are
-you under bond?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, I don’t handle company funds&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose you were&mdash;and one night you came to
-the end of your rope&mdash;found you couldn’t go
-back&mdash;found it was a life or death matter of your
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</span>soul, whether you went back or not. Still you
-had some salary coming and say a thousand dollars’
-surety. You took this amount exactly&mdash;salary
-and bond and interest to the dollar, and
-left a note saying so, in place of the amount; also
-a note releasing to your firm the amount of the
-bond and interest, and stating clearly the item of
-salary&mdash;I say, would you expect to find yourself
-charged with embezzlement in next day’s
-paper?”</p>
-
-<p>Broadwell’s shoulders straightened.</p>
-
-<p>“Not in next day’s paper,” he said, with a
-smile.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair did not miss the cut of this.</p>
-
-<p>“You think that my case was not like that
-exactly?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t see why a firm would give such a story
-to the press&mdash;unless they uncovered a loss,”
-Broadwell said slowly.</p>
-
-<p>“Lot &amp; Company couldn’t have uncovered a
-loss without looking in the very place where my
-note was, which proved there was no loss. Lot
-&amp; Company couldn’t have collected my bond
-without proceedings&mdash;unless they found my release
-of it. And the bond was collected.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then I can’t see any reason for incriminating&mdash;any
-one,” said Broadwell.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, there was a reason&mdash;though the facts
-of my case are exactly as stated. Lot &amp; Company
-had a reason. I haven’t decided whether it
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</span>will be necessary to make that known.... But
-I didn’t bring you here to discuss this affair. I
-wanted to see <i>you</i>&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Just then Mr. Broadwell was paged. A messenger
-was said to be waiting for him in the
-lobby.</p>
-
-<p>“Send him in,” Broadwell said thoughtlessly.</p>
-
-<p>Davy Acton came, and Broadwell saw his error.
-Bellair perceived that his luncheon-companion had
-made known his engagement at the office before
-leaving....</p>
-
-<p>“Sit down, Davy. I’m glad to see you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The boy had grown. Bellair noted that simple
-thing, as he noted the fact also that Davy was
-tortured with embarrassment, and had not meant
-to come in. He wriggled his hand forward to
-take Bellair’s, which was held toward his, and
-then looked down shamefacedly, as if <i>he</i> had been
-charged with theft. Bellair knew well that the
-boy’s trouble was how to meet him&mdash;formerly a
-friend, but now an outcast from the firm. A kind
-of darkness stole over him. He saw now that
-Broadwell believed him a thief, even as the landlady
-had believed; but in the case of neither of
-these did the dread finality come to him, as from
-the face of this stricken boy.</p>
-
-<p>This was the thought that shot through Bellair’s
-mind, “No one liked Davy so well as I
-did; no one tried to help him as I did; and now
-he thinks my liking and my helping, a part of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</span>the looseness of character which made me a
-thief.”</p>
-
-<p>The thought was strange, yet natural, too. It
-came into the darkness which had covered the
-abode of Bellair’s consciousness.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>“A bit of copy&mdash;that I missed getting off,”
-Broadwell was saying. “I was excited when you
-called.... All right, Davy. I’ve told ’em
-where to find it on the back of the note.... And
-now Bellair&mdash;you were saying&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair watched for the turn on the part of Broadwell
-that would reveal the character of his message,
-for he did not believe the matter of the copy
-for the printer. The chill was thick between
-them, yet Bellair managed to say:</p>
-
-<p>“I’m not here for reprisal or trouble-making.
-It’s rather a novelty to be innocent, yet charged
-with a thing; certainly one sees a look from the
-world that could come no other way. I want to
-see you again&mdash;soon. I’ve got a story to tell you.
-It was a big thing to me. We used to have things
-in common. I’d like to tell you the story and see
-how it strikes you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Good. I’m to spare&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose you come here to lunch to-morrow&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“No, you come with me.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I’d prefer it the other way,” Bellair declared.
-“It’s my story you are to listen to.”</p>
-
-<p>As they parted, there was just a trace of the
-old Broadwell, that left Bellair with a feeling
-of kindness.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m interested to hear that story,” the advertising-man
-said. “It did something to you apparently.
-Pulled you down a lot&mdash;but that’s not
-all. I can’t make it out exactly&mdash;but you’ve got
-something, Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p>That was a long afternoon.... He had been
-gone less than six months; and yet was as much
-a stranger, as a young man coming in from the
-West for the first time. The hours dragged. The
-City did not awe him, but so much of it struck him
-in places tender. He could give and give; there
-seemed no other way, no other thing to do. He
-sat on a bench in Union Square, and talked with
-an old man who needed money so badly that Bellair
-reflected for some time the best way to bestow
-it without shock. The old fellow looked so near
-gone, that one feared his heart would break under
-any undue pressure of excitement.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair concluded he had better buy a stimulant
-first of all, so he led the way across the Square to
-Kiltie’s. They lined up against the bar, and
-warmed themselves, the idea in Bellair’s mind
-being to give something beside money. Now the
-old man (not in the least understanding more
-than it was the whim of the stranger to do something<span class="pagenum" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</span>
-for him), was so intent on what was to be
-done that he could not listen. Bellair had to come
-to the point. They went to a table for a bite of
-lunch, and the spectacle of a beggar’s mind opened&mdash;a
-story lacking imagination and told with the
-pitiful endeavour to fit into what was imagined to
-be the particular weakness of this listener.</p>
-
-<p>For months, Bellair had not touched the little
-orbit of the trodden lives. The story was not
-true, for no single group of ten words hinged upon
-what had been said, or folded into the next statement.
-The old man was not simple, but his guile
-was simple, and the simplicity of that was obscene.
-Begging might be a fine art, but men chose or
-fell into their work without thought of making
-an art of it. The old man did not know his own
-tremendous drama. Had he dared plainly to be
-true, he would have captivated the world with his
-own poor faculties. Behind the affectations were
-glimpses of great realities&mdash;if only the fallen
-mind could accept his days and tell them as they
-came&mdash;just the imperishable fruits of his days.
-As it was, the whiskey swept them farther away,
-and the creature attempted to act; his pitiful conception
-of effects were called into being. The
-throb of it all was the way the world was brought
-back to Bellair. His whole past city life thronged
-into mind. This was but a shocking example of
-myriads of lives&mdash;trying to be what their undeveloped
-senses prompted for the moment, rather
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</span>than to be themselves. This was the salesman’s
-voice and manner, he had seen in Broadwell....
-He stopped his revery by handing over the
-present.</p>
-
-<p>The old man’s eyes were wild now with hope
-and anguish to get away; a mingling of fear, too,
-lest the great sum of money in one piece be counterfeit;
-lest the stranger ask it back, or some one
-knock him down and take it away.</p>
-
-<p>“I sat in a small boat,” Bellair was saying, “for
-ten days, with very little food and water. I saw
-one man die like a beast of thirst&mdash;or fear of
-thirst; and I saw another man master it&mdash;so that
-he died smiling&mdash;as only a man can die&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair did not finish. He had tried to catch
-the old man’s attention with this&mdash;to hold it an
-instant, thinking that some word would get home,
-something of the immortal facts in his heart,
-something greater than cash ... but the old
-man believed him insane, a liar, a fool or all
-three.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, yes,” he said, looking to the side, and
-to the door.</p>
-
-<p>So he could listen, neither before nor afterward.
-Bellair eased his agony by letting him go&mdash;the
-money gripped in his hands, his limbs hastening,
-eyes darting to the right and left, as he sped
-through the swinging door.... For several
-moments, Bellair sat in the sorrow of it&mdash;lost in
-the grimmest of all tragedies&mdash;that here we are, a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</span>human family, all designed for lofty and majestic
-ends, yet having lost the power to articulate to
-each other. Suddenly Bellair remembered that
-the old face had looked into his for a swift second,
-when he was released&mdash;shaken, ashen, a murmur
-of something like “God thank you,” on the trembling
-lips. There was a bit of a ray in that....
-Then he settled back into the tragedy again. It
-was this&mdash;that the old man had thought him insane
-for trying to help him; that he had seen
-something foreign and altogether amiss in the
-landlady’s eyes, in Ben Broadwell’s, and what
-was more touching to him, in Davy Acton’s.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair straightened his shoulders. The misery
-of the thing oppressed him until he brought it to
-the laugh. Formerly he would have tried to
-escape. It was not his business if the old man
-would not be helped; he had tried. If a man
-can succeed in radiating good feelings and a spirit
-of helpfulness, he has done his part; the consequences
-are out of his hand. He saw that he had
-wanted to help; that what he had taken from the
-open boat and from the woman had brought this
-impulse to the fore in all his thinking. After that
-he must be an artist in the work; must become
-consummate; but having done his best&mdash;he must
-not spend energy in moods and personal depressions....
-As for Lot &amp; Company, he must meet
-them on their own footings&mdash;forgetting everything
-but their points of view. It was his business<span class="pagenum" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</span>
-now to make a black spot clean, and it was
-an ugly material matter to be coped with as such,
-calling forth will-power and acumen of a world
-kind. He would see if he was to fail.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s laugh was hard at first, from the
-tensity of the temptation to give up and let New
-York have its way in his case. Having whipped
-that (and it was a fair afternoon’s work) the
-smile softened a little, and he entered upon the
-task of the evening.</p>
-
-<p>... Brandt’s was just as he had left it. The
-crowd increased; the quartette came. Bessie was
-lovely as ever; slightly different, since he had
-thought of her so much in the old hat. She did
-not see him, but her smile was like a flower of
-warmth and culture. A touch of the old excitement
-mounted in his breast, as they sang....
-This was New York&mdash;among men&mdash;food and
-drink and warmth. This, too, was life; these
-were men who toil every day, who cannot take
-months to dream in, who cannot cross the sea and
-observe heroes and saints, but men who crowd
-and toil and fight, even expire, for their pleasures&mdash;such
-were the surgings of Bellair’s brain in
-the midst of the music. Bessie was the arch of
-it all&mdash;the arch of the old home, New York,&mdash;not
-this Bessie, but the Bessie that might be, the
-significant woman it was his work to make and
-mould. He was living his own thoughts, as much
-as listening. They vanished when the music
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</span>stopped.... He sent a waiter to her with this
-written on a blank card:</p>
-
-<p>“Will you sing <i>Maying</i> for an old friend?”</p>
-
-<p>... The song choked the wanderer, and this
-was the new mystery of <i>Maying</i>&mdash;that it left him
-at the stone gate of a door-yard beyond windy
-Auckland....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He sent forward a gift of flowers, and was in
-a daze when she came to him and sat down.</p>
-
-<p>“I have only a few minutes. We sing once
-more and then go. How dark and thin you look!”</p>
-
-<p>He wanted to see her after her work was done,
-but dared not ask until other things were said....
-There were words that left no impress, until
-he heard himself saying:</p>
-
-<p>“I read the New York papers at sea&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“... The reporters came to me. I had told
-some one of seeing you. It was just after I had
-read the news. It was new to me to have reporters
-come&mdash;and somehow they got what they
-wanted&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, that didn’t matter. Only it was all unnecessary.
-My accounts there were never other
-than straight.”</p>
-
-<p>She said she was glad. He saw she was more
-glad to drop the subject, and didn’t exactly believe
-him.</p>
-
-<p>“And you’ve had luck away?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, in several ways&mdash;beside money.”</p><p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</span></p>
-
-<p>It seemed necessary to add the last. He was
-struck with the shame and pity of it; yet it had
-to do with seeing her again.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you going to be in New York long?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know. I’d like to talk with you to-night,
-after you are through. I might know better
-then&mdash;how long I am to stay.... Is it
-possible?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;yes, I think so.”</p>
-
-<p>“When?”</p>
-
-<p>“After the <i>Castle</i>”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m going to be given a chance&mdash;in two weeks&mdash;a
-real chance,” she declared. “I’ll tell you
-later.”</p>
-
-<p>He tried to make himself believe that it was
-just as it had been; that Bessie was the same, the
-meaning of New York and the fortune that had
-come to him. How could she sing so, if it were
-not true?</p>
-
-<p>“The formal try-out is two weeks from to-day,”
-she added. “The rest is done. It’s the chance
-for life&mdash;one of the leads with the <i>King Follies</i>
-for next season. They’ve already heard me. I
-need to do no more, than has been done?”</p>
-
-<p>“Just singing?”</p>
-
-<p>“There are many lines and some dancing&mdash;oh,
-it’s a chance to storm the piece&mdash;if I can.”</p>
-
-<p>She enlarged and detailed the promise; Bellair
-forgot many things he had to say.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Is that all you want, Bessie?”</p>
-
-<p>“What?”</p>
-
-<p>“This chance.”</p>
-
-<p>Her brows knit with irritation. It was her high
-tide, and he did not seem able to rise with it.
-Still she dared not be angry with him.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t you see&mdash;it’s everything?”</p>
-
-<p>“A good salary, I suppose?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“And you are all fixed for it?”</p>
-
-<p>“All but clothes&mdash;the old struggle. You helped
-me wonderfully before.”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps I could help you again?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, could you?” She was joyousness aflame&mdash;her
-whole nature winging about him.</p>
-
-<p>Deep within, he was empty and bleak and cold.
-He wanted to give her money, but somehow could
-not make it easy for her. It cheapened him in
-his own eyes.... He was silent&mdash;his thoughts
-having crossed the world. There is no one to explain
-the sentence that ran through his mind,
-“... <i>who buys wine for the Japanese girls in
-Dunedin, since Norcross was conscripted in the
-service we all shall know?</i>”</p>
-
-<p>“... But what am I to do for you,” he heard
-the girl inquire, “since you are&mdash;not going away
-to-night?”</p>
-
-<p>He quaked at the old recall. Perhaps he had
-forgotten a little how to be sharp and city-wise;
-at least, he did not make himself clear at once.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You have your mornings, don’t you, Bessie?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not if I’m to have new clothes. That’s morning
-work&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“There’s so much to say. I’ve thought about
-you in a lot of strange places&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She leaned forward and said with a pitiful
-quiet, “Once, you only wanted me to be good.”</p>
-
-<p>Then it dawned on him. “Good God, Bessie,”
-he cried, “I don’t want you to be bad!”</p>
-
-<p>She regarded him, playing with the stem of her
-glass, as of old time. A curious being he was to
-her, and quite inexplicable.</p>
-
-<p>“You love me?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p>The bass now beckoned, and she fled.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair saw that one may have a gift from heaven,
-a superb singing-voice, for instance, but that one
-must also furnish the thought behind it. It was
-not that Bessie Brealt lacked ambition; in fact, she
-had plenty of that, but it was the sort that cannot
-wait for real results. She did not see the great
-singer; she had not a thought to give with her song.
-She had not the emotions upon which a great organ
-of inspiration might be built with the years.
-Already she was touched with the world; the
-world stirred her desires; matters of first importance
-in her mind were the things she wanted.</p>
-
-<p>She was not different from the thousands, from
-the millions, in this. He had not altogether lost
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</span>the conviction that she might be made different.
-Already she was singing too much; her voice
-would never reach its full measure under these
-conditions. She would suffer the fate of the
-countless high-bred colts that are ruined by being
-raced too young, being denied the right to sound
-maturity. She should have been out of the life-struggle
-for years yet; in the country, in the perfect
-convent of natural life. She had not answered
-the true call, but meanwhile a call had
-come; its poison had entered. Bellair saw that
-the process before him, if any, was to break before
-building.... If consummate art were used, might
-not Bessie be helped to conceive the great career?
-Of course that thought must come first. However,
-he was far from believing that any art of
-his could be consummate.... Speaking that
-night of her new opportunity, he said:</p>
-
-<p>“They will rehearse you a great deal&mdash;then performances
-twice a day&mdash;and you’re not more than
-twenty&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Just twenty&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You should be forty&mdash;before giving your
-voice so much work&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She laughed. “Forty, I will doubtless be finished.
-Forty, and before, the fat comes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“People can forget fat&mdash;when a great voice is
-singing&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“The great voices have sung from children,”
-she answered.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</span></p>
-
-<p>He believed this untrue; at least, he believed
-that with conservation, a more sumptuous power
-was attainable. “They have sung naturally perhaps,
-but not professionally. If they were called
-into the stress of life very young, any greatness
-afterward was in spite of the early struggle, not
-because of it. The voice is an organ that wears
-out. It is not the same as the character which
-improves through every test. If you were to
-spend ten years in study&mdash;ten years, not alone in
-vocal culture, but in life preparation and the culture
-of happiness&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose you would have me give up this
-chance with the <i>Follies</i>?” she asked with the control
-that suggests imminent fracture.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes. There is nothing that passes so quickly&mdash;as
-the voice of a season. It is the plaything of
-a people without memory. If you had ever listened
-to the best of the light opera singers, in
-contrast to a really developed talent&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>But this was not the way. Bellair finished the
-sentence vaguely, not with the sharpness of the
-idea that had come to him. She was nervous and
-irritable and tired. She was enduring him, much
-as one endures a brother from the country, for
-whom allowances must be made; also there was
-a deeper reason.</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps what I think of you,” he said, stirring
-to thrill her some way if possible, “is really
-a fiery thing, Bessie. I think of you singing great
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</span>hordes of creatures into unity of idea that would
-lift them from beasts into men. The world is so
-full of sorrow and dulness of seeing; the world is in
-a cloud&mdash;I want you to sing the clouds away. If
-you could wait&mdash;just wait, as one holding a sure
-and perfect gift&mdash;until the real call comes to you,
-and then sing, knowing your part, not in pleasure
-and amusement, but in life, in the stirring centres
-of struggle and strife. If you would go forth
-singing that great song of yours&mdash;from your soul!
-It would be like a voice from the East&mdash;to bring
-the tatters of humanity together. I felt all this
-vaguely when I first heard you&mdash;six months ago.
-I have thought of it nights and days on the ocean&mdash;in
-times when we had to live on our thoughts,
-hold fast to them or go mad, for we had two days’
-water for ten, and two days’ food for ten. Then
-I remembered how I came into Brandt’s, torn that
-night, not knowing what to do&mdash;dull-eyed and
-covered with wrongs. You sang me free. For
-the minute you sang me out of all that. I could
-not have freed myself perhaps&mdash;without that
-song. I know that there are thousands of men
-like me to be freed&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair felt on sure ground now. This was
-his particular manner and message&mdash;the finest
-and strangest thing about him&mdash;the fact that had
-always appeared, making him different even from
-Fleury and the woman,&mdash;the thought that he was
-average&mdash;and not more impressionable than the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</span>multitudes. If they could be reached, they would
-make the big turn that he had been shoved into.</p>
-
-<p>“... Thousands just as I was that night,
-preyed upon by trade, dull-witted with the ways
-of trade, the smug, the bleak, the poisonous
-tricks of trade, born and bred&mdash;their real life
-softened and watered and wasted away ...
-thousands who could turn into men at the right
-song, the right word. I always thought of you,
-Bessie&mdash;as one of the great helpers. If you can
-wait, the way will come. I will help you to wait.
-I came back to New York to help you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She picked up his glass and smelled it, her eyes
-twinkling. “Splendid,” she said, “but are you
-quite sure you haven’t a stick in this ginger-ale?”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair leaned back. He hadn’t touched <i>it</i> yet.
-Perhaps something would come, better than
-words. It was not straight-going&mdash;this work that
-he had dreamed; always a shock in bringing down
-dreams from Sinai; always something deadly in
-meeting the empirical. He smiled. “Just ginger-ale,
-Bessie, but you are a stimulant. You are
-more beautiful than before. Not quite so girlish,
-but there is something new that is very intense
-to me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She leaned toward him now, very eager.</p>
-
-<p>“I wondered what you would see. The difference
-was plain at once in you.... Tell me what
-you see&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Just between the fold of the eye and the
-point of the chin&mdash;&mdash;” he answered....
-(Queerly now he imagined himself talking on the
-shore to the little Gleam; it gave him just the
-touch that helped.) “&mdash;a little straightening of
-the oval, and the little puff at the mouth-corners
-drawn out. Why, Bessie, it’s just the vanishing
-child. And you are taller. I’m almost afraid to
-speak&mdash;to try to put it into words, how pretty
-you are&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She was elate and puzzled, too. “Where did
-you get anything like that?” she asked. “It’s
-what made me remember before. Always when
-you get through preaching&mdash;you pay for it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>It was out before she thought&mdash;yet for
-once the exact unerring thing that was in her
-mind.</p>
-
-<p>He treasured it; saw that his appeal was certain
-this way; that he must be of the world, and
-right glib to master her. The way of reality was
-slow; he must never fail to pay for preaching....
-They laughed, and the weariness went from
-her eyes. The bloom of her health was at its
-height. Now as Bellair watched her, thinking
-of the world-ways, she suddenly swept home to
-him&mdash;the old forbidden adventure of her, the
-meaning of money and nights, her homelessness,
-the city, the song, the price she would pay if he
-demanded it.</p>
-
-<p>The thing was upon him before he realised. It
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</span>had all been the new Bellair until now. His body
-had lain as if in a vault of wax, its essential forces
-in suspension. Suddenly without warning, the
-wax had melted away. He did not instantly give
-battle to the gust of desire&mdash;met it eye-to-eye.
-Bellair felt his own will, and knew he would use
-it presently. He was rather amazed at the power
-of the thing as it struck him, and the nature of
-it, so utterly detached from the redolence and
-effulgence he had known in the Stone House. This
-was not the old Hunting Companion who had
-come with garlands; a minkish aborigine, this,
-who had come empty-handed, whose hands were
-out to be filled.</p>
-
-<p>The meaning of all that Stackhouse had left
-in wallets and sea-girt archipelagoes was in this
-sullen-eyed entity&mdash;in the <i>O</i> formed of thirsting
-lips. Bellair tried to check it before it came&mdash;the
-thought that this was peculiarly a New York
-manifestation, one destined to be Bessie Brealt’s
-familiar in future years.... He did not have
-to use his will. He lost himself in thinking of
-her plight.</p>
-
-<p>“... Please bring the coffee,” she was saying
-to the waiter, her hand lifted, as if she would
-touch his sleeve, the familiarity of one who had
-sung here many nights. “Yes, he will have coffee.
-He is merely away somewhere.... Yes,
-we will have it smoked with cognac&mdash;but here&mdash;do
-it here. I like to see it burn....”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Very well, Miss Brealt&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The lights had all come back to Bellair. He
-was miserable&mdash;the adventure palled. There had
-been no lift, nor tumultuous carrying away. The
-quick change chilled him. Her words one by one
-had chilled him.... At least, he had demanded
-a madness to-night. Bessie did not have the wine
-of madness in her veins. This much had been
-accomplished. He could not break training
-coldly.... And now he felt as if the day had
-drained him to the heart, as if the day had come
-to an end, and he must rest.</p>
-
-<p>He turned to her. “I found a little check-book
-for you to-day, but you must go to the bank and
-give them your signature. It is made of leather,
-small enough for your purse almost. The bank-book
-is with it. You will find a little account
-started.... And now I will call a cab for
-you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But your coffee&mdash;&mdash;” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, we will have that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He had to get away for a moment. His heart
-was desolate with hunger.... The smell of the
-kitchen made him think of the galley of a
-ship....</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>“Oh, what can I do for you?” Bessie asked,
-when he returned.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s what you can do for yourself that interests
-me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</span></p>
-<p>“But I must go with the <i>Follies</i>&mdash;if I win. It’s
-the career&mdash;the beginning!”</p>
-
-<p>“If you must.”</p>
-
-<p>“And when shall I see you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Here to-morrow night&mdash;if you will.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” she said eagerly.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">4</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">On the way to Lot &amp; Company’s the next morning
-Bellair smiled at the sense of personal injustice
-which had returned to him. He held fast
-to a sort of philosophical calm, but permitted his
-energy to be excited by a peculiar blending of
-contempt and desire to wring the truth from Lot
-&amp; Company at any price.</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly he stopped. Lot &amp; Company was
-merely something to master. Lot &amp; Company was
-but an organised bit of the world which he had
-met; all men had their own organisations to face,
-to comprehend the vileness and illusion of, and
-then to get underfoot, neck and other vitals....
-Bessie had helped him. There was something
-in that.... He felt the fighting readiness
-within him, and an added warning not to raise
-his voice. He must deal with Lot &amp; Company
-on the straight low plane of what-was-wanted.
-That was the single level of the firm’s understanding.</p>
-
-<p>Davy Acton smiled at him shyly&mdash;the first
-face after the pale telephone-miss at the door.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</span>Davy was more at home in these halls and
-floors than in the hotel dining-room. Bellair
-heard the jovial voice of Mr. Rawter behind his
-partition. From the distance, Broadwell glanced
-up and waved at him. Mr. Sproxley’s black eyes
-were fixed in his direction from behind the grating
-of his cage. Mr. Sproxley came forward, greeted
-him and returned. Bellair had asked to see the
-elder Mr. Wetherbee, but it appeared that Mr.
-Seth was not in.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll speak with Mr. Nathan Lot,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Lot is occupied.”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Jabez then.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Jabez came forth presently.... He had
-been married in the interval, according to Broadwell;
-the fact had touched the wide, limp mouth.
-A very rich girl had joined pastures with Jabez;
-so that this coming forward was one of the richest
-young men in New York, representing the fortune
-of his mother which the dreaming Nathan had
-put into works; representing the fortune he had
-recently wedded with or without dreaming, and
-also the Lot &amp; Company millions. Mr. Jabez
-also stood for the modern note of the firm; he was
-designed to bring the old and prosperous conservatism
-an additional new and up-to-the-hour
-force of suction.... Mr. Jabez smiled.</p>
-
-<p>“Hello, Bellair,” he said with a careless regard,&mdash;doubtless
-part of the modern method, the laxity
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</span>of new America which knows no caste. The
-thought had formed about him something to this
-effect: “What’s the use of me carrying it&mdash;you
-will not be able to forget you are talking to forty
-millions?”</p>
-
-<p>“Come in,” he added and Bellair followed.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan was beyond the partition. The
-atmosphere of the dreamer had looped over into
-the son’s sanctum.... Bellair began at the
-point of his handing the letter, addressed to Mr.
-Nathan, to the station-porter at the last moment
-from the platform of the Savannah Pullman.</p>
-
-<p>“But mails don’t miscarry,” said Mr. Jabez,
-impatiently.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s a fact. Perhaps mine wasn’t mailed.
-Of course,” he added quietly, “you didn’t require
-that letter. You had my note of release in the
-safe. They say at the Trust company that you
-collected the thousand dollars and interest within
-four days after I left.”</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose every employé who has a deposit of
-faith&mdash;should tie us up that way?”</p>
-
-<p>“It would be well to find out what he has done&mdash;before
-calling in the police.”</p>
-
-<p>“What do you want, Bellair?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Jabez could hold his temper, when its display
-was an inconvenience.</p>
-
-<p>“I want a paper signed by you for Lot &amp; Company,
-stating that you were in error when you
-charged me with absconding with company funds;
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</span>that my accounts were afterward found to be entirely
-correct.”</p>
-
-<p>Jabez Lot surveyed him. There was some
-change which he did not understand. The paper
-asked for, was a mere matter of dictation, a thing
-that might be forced from the firm. He believed,
-however, that Bellair wanted something else.</p>
-
-<p>“I think the wisest plan for us will be to turn
-your case over to our attorney,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Why?” Bellair asked. The full episode of
-the Nubian File and Mr. Prentidd passed through
-his mind.</p>
-
-<p>“You see these affairs are adjusted better out
-of the office&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Why?”</p>
-
-<p>“As a matter of fact, Bellair,” Mr. Jabez said
-patiently, “Lot &amp; Company is eager to make
-amends for its mistake&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>There was a slow, quiet cough, the most natural
-and thoughtless sort of cough from the inner office.
-Bellair wondered if the modern method of Mr.
-Jabez was wearing a bit upon the dreamer, or if
-he were really lost in some inscrutable departure
-of mind.</p>
-
-<p>“That would seem natural,” said he. “It
-would seem the direct, clear way. I am not
-boisterous; I threaten nothing.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair knew that this reminder of the Prentidd
-episode did not help his cause, but he wished
-nothing to be lost from the force he possessed.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</span>At the same time, he knew that it was the policy
-of Lot &amp; Company to give nothing unforced. He
-was interested.</p>
-
-<p>“We hadn’t thought of it, of course,” the future
-head now said, “but I have no doubt that
-Lot &amp; Company has something as good for you
-as your old place, if you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But I do not want a position,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it you want&mdash;again?”</p>
-
-<p>“I want a paper, saying that I stole nothing,
-that Lot &amp; Company was in error in charging me
-with taking funds&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“A sort of explanation of our course?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not exactly&mdash;a statement of your course, and
-that you incriminated me unjustly&mdash;&mdash;” Bellair
-spoke with slow clearness.</p>
-
-<p>“I really believe you had better see Mr. Jackson.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why?”</p>
-
-<p>“Because this is most unusual&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Another cough was heard.</p>
-
-<p>“Unusual&mdash;to straighten out a wrong that has
-hurt a man?”</p>
-
-<p>“The way you ask it. Lot &amp; Company is willing
-to take you back&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But I do not want to come back. You say
-that Lot &amp; Company is eager to make
-amends&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Davy Acton came in, saying that Mr. Jabez
-was called to the advertising department for a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</span>moment.... To Bellair this was like an interruption
-of an interesting story, but he did not
-wait long. The scene was merely shifted. He
-was in Mr. Nathan’s room. Mr. Rawter joined
-them and Mr. Jabez returned directly. The latter
-reopened the conversation by relating justly and
-patiently what Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t see why he shouldn’t have such a
-paper,” said Mr. Nathan, brushing his fingers
-through his hair, as if to force his thoughts down.
-He was not a whit older. The same identical
-dandruff was upon his shoulders.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Rawter laughed jovially: “Don’t you see?
-That’s just it. Individually, that is exactly the
-situation&mdash;but a big house&mdash;all its ramifications
-affected&mdash;and who’s to be responsible for Lot &amp;
-Company as a whole?”</p>
-
-<p>“It was Lot &amp; Company that incriminated me,”
-said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“I told Mr. Bellair&mdash;&mdash;” Mr. Jabez began.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Bellair had better come back to the House&mdash;that
-in itself is our acknowledgement,” interrupted
-his father. Evidently the son was not
-yet finished in training.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair turned to Mr. Jabez, who explained the
-point of Bellair’s unwillingness to return. There
-was silence at this, as if it were entirely incomprehensible.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you taken a position elsewhere in New
-York?” Mr. Nathan asked.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</span></p>
-
-<p>“No.”</p>
-
-<p>“Are you going to?”</p>
-
-<p>“On that&mdash;I cannot be sure.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Rawter now arose and came forward, placing
-his arm across Bellair’s shoulder. The latter
-winced, but not physically. For an instant
-it had fired and fogged him. “Bellair, my boy,
-on the face of it&mdash;this that you ask would seem
-very simple,” he began. “I would ask it in your
-case, but think of us. By misunderstanding, we
-let out the fact that you had gone with funds not
-your own.... You were away. We looked for
-you everywhere before this happened&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You let it out,” said Bellair. “It is very
-simple. Call it in again&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It isn’t so simple.”</p>
-
-<p>“I might come back to work for you,” Bellair
-added, “and those who knew would say, ‘He
-hadn’t anything. Instead of locking him up, Lot
-&amp; Company took him back to work out what he
-had taken&mdash;&mdash;’”</p>
-
-<p>“I might give you a personal letter, saying I
-was very sorry, that in the bewilderment of the
-moment, we jumped at the conclusion that you
-were identified with the missing funds&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But the funds were not missing. You could
-not look into the vault-box without finding my
-letter.”</p>
-
-<p>“Our funds were not all in that box, Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</span></p>
-
-<p>“They would know by next morning, if I had
-broken into your bank&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan appeared to be gone from them, his
-eyes softened with visions.</p>
-
-<p>“Write him the letter, Mr. Rawter&mdash;&mdash;” suggested
-Mr. Jabez.</p>
-
-<p>It struck Bellair like a hated odour&mdash;this tool
-for unclean work, Rawter’s part in the establishment.
-He did not hasten now, though he knew
-they were waiting for his answer. The head of
-the sales resumed:</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I will do this gladly&mdash;in fact, it would
-relieve my mind to do this in the most cordial
-terms, but I would be interested first in learning
-just what disposition of it was intended&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“It would be mine,” said Bellair. “Of course,
-I should use it as I thought fit.”</p>
-
-<p>“I was thinking&mdash;in adjusting the tone of the
-letter, the wording, you know&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Adjust the tone&mdash;the wording&mdash;to the facts&mdash;that
-would seem best. But I would not accept
-such a letter from you personally. It would have
-to be written for Lot &amp; Company&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan now showed signs of coming back.</p>
-
-<p>“Let us have a day to think it over, Bellair,”
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>“In that case&mdash;my part is finished. I have
-asked to be lifted out of a shameful position. You
-acknowledge that I have this lift coming.” It
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</span>was at this point that an inspiration arrived. “All
-that there is left, naturally and equitably, is for
-you to do your part. A man’s name is of more
-importance than a firm’s name, and in any event,
-no man nor firm was ever hurt by squaring a
-crooked action.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan appeared to welcome the slight heat
-of this remark. It brought the moment nearer
-in which hands might be washed and the attorney
-summoned. But Bellair was not heated, Mr.
-Rawter fumed a little.</p>
-
-<p>“What do you mean by a man’s name being
-more important than a firm’s name?” he demanded.</p>
-
-<p>“A firm shares its responsibility. A man shoulders
-it alone.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what do you mean by your part being
-finished?”</p>
-
-<p>“I have worked in this office five years,” Bellair
-answered. “I never saw nor heard of a man in
-my position, or in a similar position of asking
-something, who profited by allowing delay. I
-will put the matter out of mind if the letter is
-not furnished to-day. Of course, I expect to get
-it. In fact, I have the pressure to force the issue&mdash;although
-it seems trivial for me to mention it.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had thought of Mr. Prentidd again.
-There was doubtless a case of some kind pending
-on the matter of the Nubian File. Mr. Prentidd
-was no man to stop. It would not have been settled<span class="pagenum" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</span>
-within six months. Lot &amp; Company knew of
-his knowledge of this affair. Bellair plunged:</p>
-
-<p>“In fact, there is a case against Lot &amp; Company,
-to which I might add a singular weight of
-testimony. As for my own, it would go to the
-same counsel&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan ruffled his hair and the silent fall
-of grey white dust followed. Bellair felt pent.
-After so long a time at sea, it was hard for him
-to breathe in this place. He wearied now of the
-game, although Mr. Nathan was palpably down,
-present in the material plane.</p>
-
-<p>“Bellair,” said he, turning about in his chair,
-“the added pressure of a discredited employé
-doesn’t count for much as testimony in any
-case&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I realised at once the reason why you discredited
-me&mdash;to cripple for the time being any
-knowledge I might care to use against you. However,
-you have all granted that I am not discredited.
-The only item mentioned in the charge
-was the item covered by the Trust company. You
-would have to work with Mr. Sproxley to show
-a deficit in the books having to do with my departure&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Bellair,” said Mr. Nathan, “a poor man can
-never win a suit against a strongly backed
-firm&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That is unfortunately true,” said Bellair, “but
-I am not poor. I came into an inheritance during
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</span>the past six months. The fact is, I think I could
-spend as much money to buy justice as Lot &amp; Company
-would be willing to spend to prevent it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bellair,” said Mr. Nathan, “you will find it
-impossible to move the press in your behalf against
-the firm of Lot &amp; Company, with our advertising
-contracts among the valuable ones in the city
-lists&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Knowledge now counted. “You do not advertise
-in the <i>Record</i>,” he declared. “I have
-often heard from the advertising department that
-there is a rupture between this office and that
-paper, dating over a quarter of a century&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Nathan touched a button for his stenographer.
-She lit upon the little chair beside
-him like a winged seed.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>“To all Parties interested: Mr. Bellair left
-our employ suddenly and without furnishing customary
-warning,” the president dictated. “Finding
-a certain explanation in the vault, instead of
-a sum slightly over one thousand dollars belonging
-to this firm, we hastily assumed that his sudden
-departure was energised by the usual conditions.
-In fact, such a suspicion was stated to the press
-by this firm. We have since found Mr. Bellair’s
-accounts to be correct in every detail, and we furnish
-this letter to express in part our concern for
-Mr. Bellair’s character which our hasty conclusion
-impinged upon. Mr. Bellair left a letter of explanation<span class="pagenum" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</span>
-in the vault, but his action in leaving
-abruptly and without explanation forced us on
-the spur of the moment to discredit it. However,
-the statement of his letter proved true, and the
-money taken by Mr. Bellair was the exact amount
-of his surety bond, with stipulated interest, and
-his salary to the hour of departure.”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>“You have heard it?” Mr. Nathan inquired.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, it will do,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>The president nodded to his stenographer, who
-whisked out. “It will be ready in a moment,” he
-said. “I will sign it for Lot &amp; Company....
-Bellair, are you sure you don’t want your old desk
-back?”</p>
-
-<p>“Quite sure,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Jabez and Mr. Rawter had departed. Bellair
-glanced at his watch. It was a moment past
-the hour of Mr. Broadwell’s leaving for luncheon.
-The advertising-man, of course, was aware of his
-presence in the lower office. Bellair stepped out,
-however, to make sure of his appointment. Broadwell,
-hat in hand, was engaged in talk with Mr.
-Jabez. Bellair returned to the office of the president
-to wait for the stenographer. Not more than
-two minutes later, Davy Acton came in with this
-message:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-
-<p>“Mighty sorry to call luncheon off. Am hurrying
-to catch a train for Philadelphia for the rest
-of the day. Will see you later.&mdash;Broadwell.”</p>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</span></p>
-
-<p>... Bellair folded this thoughtfully. The
-stenographer brought the letter with copy. The
-front draft was approved for signature, and Bellair’s
-morning work accomplished.</p>
-
-<p>In the hall he met Davy Acton, and followed
-a quick impulse.</p>
-
-<p>“Davy, lad, how soon will you be ready to go
-out to lunch?”</p>
-
-<p>“In about three minutes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll wait for you. I’m going your way.”</p>
-
-<p>Davy’s customary exit was the side-door. Bellair
-waited there accordingly. The girls were
-coming down the iron stairway from the bindery.
-He stepped back in the shadow to let them pass.
-There were figures and faces that clutched at his
-throat.... And then a story began, half way
-up the first flight, and came nearer and nearer, the
-voice carrying easily to one who listened with
-emotion:</p>
-
-<p>“Did you know that Mr. Bellair was back?...
-Bellair, the absconding clerk&mdash;Mr. Sproxley’s
-assistant. Lot &amp; Company has refused to
-prosecute. He will not be arrested.... And
-think of his nerve&mdash;asking his old position
-back&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>... They saw merely the back of a man, if
-they saw him at all. The talk was not interrupted
-on the way to the street and beyond.... Bellair
-came up with a start to find the boy at his side.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">5</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">For a square or two, Davy Acton walking
-beside him, Bellair did not speak. He had
-needed that last bit. The morning would have
-blurred his hard-earned knowledge of Lot &amp; Company
-and the world, without that moment under
-the iron stairs. It was hard to take, but a man
-mustn’t forget such realities as this. He loses his
-grip on the world when he forgets. Happy to
-lose, of course, but the point of his effectiveness
-is gone when these rock-bottom actualities are forgotten....
-He looked down, Davy was hopping
-every third step to keep up. Bellair had quickened
-his pace to put the stench of the swamp
-farther behind him, but it was still in his nostrils....
-He laughed.</p>
-
-<p>“I was thinking, Davy, and the thoughts were
-like spurs. We’re in no hurry, really.”</p>
-
-<p>He would not take the boy to a stately and
-formal dining-room for him to be embarrassed.
-Bellair felt that he had something very precious
-along; a far graver solution than luncheon with
-Broadwell. They sat down at a little table in
-the corner of one of the less crowded restaurants.
-As they waited, Bellair said, drawing out the
-paper he had received from the dreaming Mr.
-Nathan:</p>
-
-<p>“I want you to see this first. In fact, I was
-particularly concerned about getting it, just to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</span>show you. Davy, it hit me like a rock&mdash;the way
-you looked at me in the hotel yesterday. I
-couldn’t have that. We’ve been too good
-friends&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Davy read the letter carefully, deep responsibility
-upon his understanding.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you have trouble getting it?” he asked
-finally.</p>
-
-<p>“It took the forenoon, Davy. I found that they
-had not taken the trouble to tell my old friends
-on the different floors that I was not a thief. What
-was worse for me, they let you think so&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I wouldn’t believe it at first,” said Davy.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m glad of that.”</p>
-
-<p>“I said to Mr. Broadwell, that they’d find out
-differently and be sorry. They didn’t let us know
-when they found out&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s why it was important for me to come
-back&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“But why did you go away like that?”</p>
-
-<p>The boy’s mind dwelt in the fine sense of being
-treated as an equal. Bellair felt called upon to be
-very explicit and fair:</p>
-
-<p>“I came to the time when I couldn’t live with
-myself any longer&mdash;and stay in the cage with Mr.
-Sproxley. I saw a ship in the harbour the Sunday
-before&mdash;a sailing-ship,” he began, and then made
-a picture of it; also of his own hopelessness and
-what the years would mean, not touching specific
-dishonesties, but suggesting the atmosphere which
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</span>had suddenly become poisonous to him. He did
-not forget that Davy had no other place, that he
-must keep a certain sense of loyalty, or be destroyed
-in such conditions.</p>
-
-<p>“It would have taken two weeks to get clear
-in the ordinary way,” he added. “My decision
-came the day of the squabble with Mr. Prentidd
-in the office. I had to leave right then&mdash;was off
-for Savannah that very night&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“And you found the ship there?” Davy asked
-eagerly.</p>
-
-<p>“I beat her there a day and a half. Then we
-sailed for South America. I want to tell you the
-whole story. This is not the place. Could you
-come up in my room after supper to-night?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think my mother will let me come&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me about your mother, Davy. Is she
-well? I remember I meant to meet her some
-time.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;just the same. You know she works a
-little, too&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Where?” Bellair asked absently.</p>
-
-<p>Davy swallowed, and before he spoke, the man
-saw with a queer thrill that the boy hadn’t yet
-learned to lie.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, she goes out three days a week&mdash;to do
-the laundry work&mdash;for people who have had her a
-long time.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I see.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m hoping to get where she won’t have to.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</span></p>
-
-<p>“Of course.”</p>
-
-<p>The dinner was brought. Bellair tried to make
-up for the place&mdash;in quantity. Neither spoke for
-the present. The man was hungry, too.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m glad you told me that,” he said after a
-time, “glad you told me just that way.”</p>
-
-<p>Davy applied himself further. Manifestly here
-was a point that he need not follow.</p>
-
-<p>“Davy, you’ll come through. You’re starting
-in the right hard way&mdash;the old-fashioned way. It
-won’t be so slow as you think&mdash;&mdash;” He was reminded
-now of what Fleury had said about the
-little Gleam that first night in the open boat.</p>
-
-<p>“Slow but sure at Lot &amp; Company’s&mdash;if a fellow
-does his part and works hard&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Davy was being brought up in the usual way.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair said: “I’m coming over to see you at
-your house some evening soon&mdash;if I may.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sure.... It isn’t much of a house.”</p>
-
-<p>“I’m not so certain about that. Anyway, I
-want to come. We’ll talk about it again this
-evening. You ask your mother when she’ll let
-me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You might come to-night&mdash;-instead of me coming
-to the hotel&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“No, I want to talk with you alone.”</p>
-
-<p>Davy looked relieved.... He was on his way
-presently, and the town appeared better to Bellair
-that afternoon. At five he was in the hotel-lobby
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</span>when a hand plucked his sleeve and he looked
-down into the whitest, most terrified face, he had
-ever seen.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m fired!” was the intelligence that came up
-from it, and there was reproach, too.</p>
-
-<p>“Come on upstairs, but first take it from me
-that you’ll be glad of it, in ten minutes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had to furnish a swift, heroic antidote
-for that agony.</p>
-
-<p>“You haven’t been home, of course?” the man
-asked in the elevator.</p>
-
-<p>“No.”</p>
-
-<p>“Could we send a messenger to your mother&mdash;so
-she wouldn’t worry, and you wouldn’t have to
-go home until after we talk?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“All right, I’ll see to that at once.”</p>
-
-<p>Davy wrote with trembling hands. The messenger
-was asked to bring an answer from Mrs.
-Acton.</p>
-
-<p>“Now tell me,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>“Old Mr. Seth was down when I got back. You
-know he only comes down for an hour or two now
-in the middle of the day. He called me to him,
-and asked where I had been to lunch. I said with
-you. That was all, until four o’clock, when Mr.
-Eben came to me and asked if you had shown me
-anything&mdash;a letter from Lot &amp; Company, for instance.
-I said yes. He went away, and at half-past<span class="pagenum" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</span>
-four, he called me again, handed me my
-weekly envelope, saying that they would not need
-me any longer. I came right here. It seemed,
-I couldn’t go home&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Davy, lad, I’m glad I’m not broke, but if I
-were and couldn’t do a thing to make up&mdash;it
-would be a lucky day for you.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair ordered supper served in the room.
-They were free and alone. Faith returned to the
-boy, enough for the hour. Davy was consulted
-carefully upon the details of the order, a subtle
-suggestion from Bellair from time to time. Something
-of the long dinners on the <i>Jade</i> had come to
-his mind in this rôle. He had learned much about
-food that voyage, the profundity and emptiness of
-the subject. Bellair told his story, making it very
-clear to Davy&mdash;this at first:</p>
-
-<p>“The office was doing to me just what it would
-do to you, Davy. It was breaking me down.
-The floors of Lot &amp; Company are filled with heart-broken
-men. They do not know it well; some of
-them could never know, but there are secrets in
-the breasts of men there, that you wouldn’t dream
-of. It is so all over New York. Trade makes it
-so&mdash;offices, the entire city, crowded with heart-broken
-men.... They say first, ‘Why, every
-one is out for himself and the dollar&mdash;why not
-I?’ You and I were taught so in our little schooling.
-Then Lot &amp; Company taught us. They are
-old masters&mdash;generations of teachers. Cramped
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</span>and bleak, but loyal to the one verb&mdash;<i>get</i>. In all
-the Lot family, Davy, there is not a true life principle
-such as you brought to the office in the beginning.
-But if Lot &amp; Company were unique&mdash;they
-would be an interesting study. The city is
-crowded with such firms&mdash;heart-breakers of men,
-the slow, daily, terrible grind; every movement,
-every expression, a lie&mdash;until to those inside, the
-lie is reality&mdash;and the truth a forbidden and terrible
-stranger. Every man has his Lot &amp;
-Company.</p>
-
-<p>“Davy, I breathed a bit of open that Sunday&mdash;so
-that I could see, but the next morning it closed
-about me again. It was Mr. Prentidd who helped
-me out. They stole from him and lied to him.
-Face to face, eye to eye, old Seth Wetherbee, the
-Quaker, lied to him, taking hundreds of dollars in
-the lie&mdash;millionaires taking hundreds of dollars
-from a poor inventor. I had the book of the London
-transaction before me, which showed the truth
-as they talked, and Mr. Sproxley came and took
-the book from me, and shut it in the safe....
-And then when I left, they knew I had their
-secrets. You wondered why they called me a
-thief, when I was not. It was plain, Davy, to
-spoil anything I might say about their methods.
-Instantly they discredited me, because I was one
-of six or seven in the office who knew that they
-were thieves and liars. And why did they fire you
-to-day for lunching with me? Because they were
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</span>afraid of what I might have told you. And why
-did they send Broadwell to Philadelphia when
-they knew he was to have lunch with me? For
-fear of what I might tell Broadwell. Even now
-they will not tell the different floors that I am
-exonerated.... But they are afraid, Davy&mdash;that’s
-their hell. That is their life&mdash;fear and the
-lie. Imagine men standing straight up to heaven&mdash;spines
-lifted from the ground, but going back
-to the ground&mdash;who knows but their souls already
-belly-down?&mdash;because they break the hearts of
-men, and live with fear and the lie.”</p>
-
-<p>He told of Fleury and Stackhouse and the Faraway
-Woman&mdash;of McArliss, of striking the reef,
-and day by day in the open boat.... Davy’s
-eyes bulged. The boy saw Stackhouse at one end
-and quiet manhood in the other. He sat with Bellair,
-whom he could understand, in the point of
-balance between these forces. Bellair told of the
-stars and the child, and the distance from which
-they viewed the little things of the world and the
-grand simplicity of God. He pictured the man
-Fleury had become&mdash;the straight-seeing, the fearless,
-the ignited man, who mastered the lie in his
-heart and the animal in his abdomen&mdash;the man he,
-Bellair, wanted to be, and wanted Davy to be....
-The <i>Formahaut</i> came, with Spika agleam to
-the northward, and Fleury died&mdash;the picture in
-his mind of a man, rising rather than falling....
-Bellair told him of the first moment he heard the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</span>real voice of Fleury, as he stood on the tilted deck
-of the <i>Jade</i> in the dark, while he went back for
-water.... “I’ll hold a place for you!”</p>
-
-<p>“A real man always says that, Davy. A real
-man will hold a place for you. And I thought, as
-I saw Stackhouse die and remembered his life,
-that he was the saddest and most terrible animal
-in human form. He was a glutton and a coward,
-but mainly he broke his own heart and not others.
-He was a slave to his stomach, but there was life,
-not creeping death, in his mind. I saw the pictures
-that moved there, low, vivid pictures, animal
-dreams, but he was not a destroyer of children or
-a breaker of the hearts of men. Low Nature was
-loose in him, but it was not a predatory instinct
-alone. Having enough, he could give. He could
-give fifty thousand dollars and a wallet full of
-valuable papers for a bottle of whiskey&mdash;but the
-Lots and the Wetherbees would have died clutching
-their money. I learned Stackhouse, Davy&mdash;only
-to understand that there is a depth below his.
-I think I should have taken you out somehow&mdash;if
-they hadn’t let you go&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Davy asked questions, and the story came better
-and better. The thing that held him especially
-was the last days in the open boat.</p>
-
-<p>“And did you really suffer less when you decided
-to make it a fast?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, that was true in my case. Many have set
-out to fast ten days, and done with as little as we
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</span>did. Of course it was harrowing, because we
-didn’t know when it would end; then the little
-baby was there, and the mother.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you think <i>he</i> was really as happy as he
-said?”</p>
-
-<p>“Davy, lad, Fleury was a prince. He would
-have given you his shirt. He had himself going
-so strong <i>for us</i>&mdash;that the fire of happiness ran
-through him. I’ll give you some books about that.
-It’s really a fact. You can’t suffer pain, when
-you’ve got something really fine up your sleeve
-for another. Perhaps you’ve felt it at Christmas&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You’re all out of yourself-like&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s it,” said the man.</p>
-
-<p>More words would have stuck in his throat.
-Davy got it&mdash;got something of it. Bellair had
-come to ask so little, that this seemed a great deal....
-He followed Davy down and into the street.
-It was still two hours before he was due at the
-<i>Castle</i>.</p>
-
-<p>“How long does it take to get to your house,
-Davy?”</p>
-
-<p>“About twenty-five minutes. It’s ’way down
-town.”</p>
-
-<p>“Suppose I should go home and meet your
-mother. I have the time&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, come with me. She will be watching.”</p>
-
-<p>They passed a delicatessen-store, ripe cherries in
-the window, and a counter full of provisions that
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</span>would have been far more thrilling had they not
-dined so well.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you suppose we might take home an armful
-of these things?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>Davy dissuaded weakly.... That clerk must
-have thought him mad, for Bellair merely pointed
-to bottles and jars and baskets&mdash;until they were
-both loaded. There was a kind of passion about
-it for the man. He hated to stop; in fact did not,
-until it occurred to him that this was not the last
-night of the world, and that Davy doubtless required
-many more substantial matters, which
-would furnish a rapturous forenoon among the
-stores&mdash;to-morrow forenoon....</p>
-
-<p>They sat in an almost empty downtown subway
-train, their bundles about them, the stops called
-by the guard. They both hunched a little, when
-the stop nearest Lot &amp; Company’s was called, but
-did not speak. Farther and farther downtown&mdash;the
-last passengers leaving. It was the hour the
-crowds move upward. Strange deep moments for
-Bellair&mdash;moments in which this was more than
-Davy sitting beside him. This was Boy&mdash;Davy
-Acton but the symbol of a great need.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">6</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">A hurried walk to the east with their bundles
-to a quarter that Bellair had not known
-before, past the great stretches of massive
-buildings which the day had abandoned, to a low
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</span>and older sort that carried on a night-life of their
-own, where children cried, halls were narrow, and
-the warmth became heaviness.... A plump
-little woman who had not lost hope (she did not
-see the stranger at first because the boy filled
-her eyes); a dark, second-floor hall, a little room
-with a lamp and a red table-cloth; a door at either
-end, and opposite the door they entered, one window....
-How bewildered she was with the
-bundles, desiring to prepare something for them
-right away. Indeed, it would have helped her to
-be active in their behalf.... Bellair was
-smiling.</p>
-
-<p>Davy told part and Bellair part. Presently all
-was forgotten in the presence of the calamity that
-had befallen. It was slow to change her mind
-about Lot &amp; Company. Davy had impressed upon
-her for two years the lessons administered there.
-Not to be changed in a moment, this estimate&mdash;that
-before all poverty, before all need, and above
-all hope, a place at Lot &amp; Company’s was a permanent
-place, “if a fellow did his part”&mdash;that
-Lot &amp; Company was an honest house. Davy told
-of the paper Mr. Bellair had forced from them,
-and Bellair touched upon the life he had led in
-those halls, just a little and with haste. To help
-him to speak authoritatively, he added that he
-would help Davy to another position.... Then
-he looked around, and glanced at his watch. There
-was a small anteroom which they occupied....
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</span>Bellair had asked about the other door. “An
-empty room,” Mrs. Acton told him.</p>
-
-<p>Of course it was for rent. On the spur of the
-moment, he declared he would take it, asked her
-to rent it for him, insisting on paying in advance.
-He would come in the morning&mdash;have his things
-brought later.... No, Davy was not to look
-for a position to-morrow. Davy must devote himself
-to him to-morrow. He left them happily.
-The mother called after him in hopeless excitement
-that he had left enough to rent the room all
-summer.</p>
-
-<p>He did not show the Lot &amp; Company paper to
-Bessie; in fact, he never showed it but once, and
-that was to Davy Acton immediately after it was
-obtained. He had thought of taking it across the
-street to show the landlady, but perhaps that
-would merely have added to her living confusion.
-It had been most important for Davy, but to
-reopen the subject with Bessie, his manner might
-have touched an “I-told-you-so” indelicacy....
-She was happy when he found her that night.
-Clothes in quantity were already begun&mdash;the next
-ten forenoons at the dressmakers’. She thanked
-him charmingly, studied him with a quizzical expression
-that invariably haunted him afterward.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair could never tell just what would do it,
-but occasionally through an hour’s chat, he would
-say something, just enough above her comprehension
-to challenge her. Once opened, her faculties
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</span>were not slow, but the life she had chosen, held her
-mind so consistently to its common level that the
-habit was formed. Mainly when he spoke above
-her, she ceased to listen, ignored him; but when
-something he said just hit home, she praised him
-with animation, as one would a sudden gleam of
-unexpected intelligence on the part of a child.
-It became one of his most remarkable realisations
-that a man who has anything worth while
-to say must come down to say it, just as certainly
-as he must go up to get it.</p>
-
-<p>The sense of adventure with her did not return
-this night, though she had seemed to accept him
-differently from before; as if he belonged, part of
-her impediment mainly, but at moments of surpassing
-value, like a machine that one packs a
-day for a half-hour’s work it may do. His money
-had purchased something.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair sat in the dark of his room, feet on the
-window-sill, hat still on, at two o’clock, his last
-night in the hotel where he never had belonged.
-He was very tired and longed for sleep; and yet
-there was a different longing for sleep than that
-which belonged to physical weariness. It had to
-do with his hunger for the Faraway Woman. This
-startled him. What was that refreshing mystery
-afterward? Did he go to her in sleep&mdash;did she
-come? Why was it that the burden of parting
-invariably increased through the long days? It
-had been so on the ship. In the morning he could
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</span>live; then the hours settled down, until it seemed
-he must leap back to her; the ship’s ever increasing
-distance at times literally twisting his faculties
-until he was dazed with pain.</p>
-
-<p>He had not thought of this before. Why was
-it always when the pressure increased and the ardour
-mounted&mdash;that he longed for sleep?...
-Nothing came to his work-a-day brain from the
-nights. His dreams were of lesser matters&mdash;and
-yet, something within pulled him to unconsciousness
-like the rush of a tide. It gave him a sense
-of the vastness, a glimpse of the inner beauty of
-life.</p>
-
-<p>Far below in the side-street a heavy, slow-trotting
-horse clattered by. The motors were more
-and more hushed, even the hell of Broadway subdued.
-A different set of sounds came home to him,
-but he did not interpret for the present; their
-activity playing upon deeps of their own&mdash;a
-bridge swung open between them and his exterior
-thoughts....</p>
-
-<p>Slowly all exterior matters slipped away&mdash;the
-mother and Davy and Bessie. The bridge between
-the surface and the deeps swung to, and he
-heard the sounds that had been thrilling his real
-being all the time as he sat by the window&mdash;the
-liner whistles that crossed Manhattan from the
-harbour, the deep-sea bayings which seemed to be
-calling him home.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</span></p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">7</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Bellair must have rested well in a few hours,
-for he arose early, feeling very fit in and
-out. For years the man he had seen in the
-glass when he was alone, had aroused little or no
-curiosity; a sort of customary forbearance rather.
-The fact is, he had not looked close for years.
-This morning as he shaved, something new regarded
-him from the face, still deeply dark from
-the open boat. He called it a glint, but would
-have designated it as something that had to do
-with power in another. It was fixed&mdash;something
-earned and delivered.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps it was something she had seen.</p>
-
-<p>This animated him. It had come from Fleury
-and the fasting, but most of all from contemplating
-her face and her nature. Was it the arousing
-of his own latent will? Was it because he was
-lifted above Lot &amp; Company? What part of it
-had come from the anguish of separation? Truly
-a man must build something if he manages to
-live against the quickened beat of a hungry
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>The face was very thin, too. He had felt that
-so often as he used the morning knife, but he saw
-it now. Thin and dark, and the boy gone altogether....
-Bellair smiled. Lot &amp; Company had
-tried to take the boy. Had they not failed, the
-man would never have come, but something craven
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</span>in the place of the boy, something tied to its own
-death, its soul shielded from the light&mdash;a shield
-of coin-metals.</p>
-
-<p>He shuddered, less at the narrowness of his own
-escape, than at New York whose business came up
-to him now through the open windows.... The
-shaving had dragged. He was not accustomed to
-study his own face. The very novelty of it had
-held him this time&mdash;and especially the thought of
-what she might have seen there. Suddenly he
-wanted something big to take back to her&mdash;a manhood
-of mind and an integrity of soul&mdash;something
-to match that superb freedom she had wrung from
-the world. A thousand times the different parts
-of her story had returned to his mind, always filling
-him with awe and wonder. She had come like
-one with a task, and set about it from a child,
-against all odds, putting all laws of men beneath&mdash;as
-if the task had been arranged before she
-came. He knew that the essence of this freedom
-was in the hearts of women everywhere, but she
-had made it manifest, dared all suffering for it.
-And yet with all the struggle behind her, the gentleness
-which he had come to know in her nature
-was one of the great revelations. It gave him a
-vision of the potential beauty of humanity; it
-made him understand that one must be powerful
-before one can be gentle; that one must master
-one’s self before one dare be free. All that he
-had was far too little to bring home to her. This
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</span>morning he felt that nothing short of the impossible
-was worth going after.</p>
-
-<p>A little later as he was leaving the room, the
-telephone rang. The operator said that a gentleman
-wanted to see him. On the lower floor, Bellair
-glanced into the eyes of a young man who
-wanted something; “glanced <i>into</i>” is somewhat
-inaccurate; rather his eyes glanced from the
-other’s, and took away a peculiar, indescribable
-interest. It was the look of a colt he had seen,
-a glitter of wildness and irresponsibility in a face
-that was handsome but not at its best.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had seen something of the expression in
-the faces of young men who had been fathered too
-much; those who had not met the masterful influence
-of denial, and had been allowed to lean too
-long. The face had everything to charm and to
-express beauty and reality with, but the inner
-lines of it were not formed; the judgments lacking,
-the personal needs too imperious. He had
-made the most of well-worn clothing, but appeared
-to feel keenly the poorness of it.</p>
-
-<p>“I came in here yesterday,” he said hastily. “It
-all happened because the ledger was turned back.
-I glanced at it, as one will, and standing out from
-the page was ‘Auckland, N. Z.’ It was as if written
-in different colour to me. I followed the line
-back to the name&mdash;and tried to see you yesterday
-afternoon and last night. You didn’t come
-in&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</span></p>
-
-<p>“You come from Auckland?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“How long?”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s more than a year.... Small thing to
-meet a stranger on, but it was all I had. Auckland
-is so far and so different&mdash;that when I saw it&mdash;it
-seemed there must be a chance&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course. I know how it is,” said Bellair.
-“Do you want to get back?”</p>
-
-<p>“That isn’t it, exactly, though I haven’t anything
-here&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Have you had breakfast?”</p>
-
-<p>“N-no.”</p>
-
-<p>“Come in with me and we’ll talk. I have a
-half-hour to spare.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair heard his voice and wondered at the
-coldness of it. He remembered afterward the
-covered billiard-tables at the far end of the hall
-and the dimness of the hall’s length, as he led
-the way. His own custom was a pot of coffee
-and a bit of toast, but the other’s possible need
-of food had a singular authority over him, so
-he made out that this was one of the main feeding
-features of his day.... But the other was intent
-upon certain things beside food. He had been unlucky.
-Everything that he had tried in the year
-of New York had failed him somehow&mdash;little ventures,
-positions lost&mdash;and always some one was to
-blame, not this one who spoke and had suffered so.
-Bellair hearkened for one note that would confine
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</span>itself to the unfinished mouth and the unstable
-character; one note that would suggest the possibility
-of a clue that the series of failures lay in
-his own shortcomings of strength and quality, but
-the boy had not this suggestion in his heart.</p>
-
-<p>“Are you married?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“No.”</p>
-
-<p>There was an instant’s lull, and then was turned
-off another story of misfortune:</p>
-
-<p>“... I didn’t want to marry her. I got her in
-trouble down in New Zealand. Her father wanted
-me to marry her&mdash;was willing to pay for it&mdash;but
-a fellow can’t take a chance like that. We came
-up together with the kid to New York, but everything
-broke bad for me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The voice went on, but Bellair lost his face.
-There was a greenish-yellow light between their
-faces, at least, for Bellair’s eyes, and the floor
-seemed shaken with heavy machinery. Bellair
-knew the burn of hate, and the thirst to kill&mdash;and
-then he was all uncentred, like a man badly
-wounded. He arose.</p>
-
-<p>“... The fact is, I don’t think she was quite
-<i>right</i>. None of them are&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I won’t be able to hear any more of that just
-now,” Bellair said slowly. “I’m leaving this hotel
-to-day for other quarters. But to-morrow morning
-at ten, I shall be here and listen to what you want.
-Perhaps I can set you straight a bit&mdash;for the present,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</span>
-anyway. And this&mdash;is so you won’t miss any
-meals in the meantime&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair handed him money.</p>
-
-<p>“Please excuse me,” he added. “And finish
-your breakfast&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He called the waiter and signed the card. Then
-he turned as if to look around the room. He
-located the door by which they had entered, drew
-his hands strangely across his eyes. Effusive gratefulness
-was seeking his ears from the young man
-in the chair. Bellair lifted his hand as if to cut
-off the voice, and then started for the door, his
-step hastening.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">8</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">It was truly a tenement quarter in which Davy
-and his mother lived. The fact awed Bellair
-somewhat. Had he been a cripple in a wheeled-chair,
-confined to one side of one block, he could
-have found a life’s work.... Little faces that
-choked him everywhere. One might toss coins at
-their feet, but the futility of that was like a cry
-to God.</p>
-
-<p>Davy’s mother was making his room ready. By
-some chance it faced the east; between ten and
-noon, there was sunlight. Forty years ago it had
-been the kitchen of a second-floor apartment,
-doubtless respectable. Only the scars of the
-kitchen fixtures remained, like organs gone back
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</span>to a rudiment in swift involution. Water now
-was to be had in but one place on each floor&mdash;in
-the hall, and the natives came there with their
-pitchers and cans as tropical villagers, morning
-and evening to the well.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Acton had spared a bit of carpet, which
-looked as if it had been scrubbed; and just below
-the window the tip of a heaven-tree waved. It
-was thin as his single bed, but even that growth
-seemed miraculously attained, as if the seed must
-have held all the nourishment. Bellair stared
-down through shadows and litter, and could discern
-no more than a crack in the stone pavement,
-from which this leafy creature had come to him.
-Quite as miraculously it was, with the myriad children
-in the streets and halls. Certainly this was
-a place to keep tender. Davy had gone forth on
-an errand.</p>
-
-<p>“What was he interested in especially when he
-was little?” Bellair asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Boats&mdash;boats,” said the mother.</p>
-
-<p>It struck the man queerly that he had not noted
-this. Davy had devoured his little list of sea
-stories, and had listened as no one else to the open
-boat narrative, but the man fancied it just the
-love of adventure. Bellair’s mother might have
-said the same thing.</p>
-
-<p>“Did he draw them, you mean?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, and played with them. His father was
-a seaman, Mr. Bellair.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</span></p>
-
-<p>Bellair’s father had not been a seaman, but there
-was little to that. They were one in the initial
-proclivity. Perhaps if the truth were shaken
-down, there was something in this fact that had
-to do with their relation.</p>
-
-<p>“Could I have breakfast and supper here with
-you?” he asked suddenly.</p>
-
-<p>The woman looked startled. “You see, I am
-away three days a week.”</p>
-
-<p>It was Bellair’s idea to make this impossible,
-so he insisted:</p>
-
-<p>“My wants are simple. I might not be here
-always to supper&mdash;but, of course, I should want to
-pay for it. It would be pleasant&mdash;we three together&mdash;and
-no matter to me if supper were a bit
-late. You see, Mrs. Acton, now that I’ve begun,
-I insist on having a home. I lived in one room
-for five years, and that sort of thing is ended. A
-hotel is no better.”</p>
-
-<p>Davy returned and Bellair took him forth at
-once, impatient to continue the adventure of the
-purchases, begun the night before. Hours passed.
-Once Davy looked up to him in a mixture of awe
-and joy:</p>
-
-<p>“Why are you buying so many things for us,
-Mr. Bellair?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sit down,” the man answered.</p>
-
-<p>They were in a retail clothier’s. The salesman
-drew back.</p>
-
-<p>“Davy,” said Bellair, “it’s the most natural
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</span>thing. First I have the money and you have the
-needs. Second, we are friends&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had felt many things hammering for
-utterance, but when he had come thus far, he
-found that the whole ground was covered....
-The boy hurried home, but Bellair was not ready.
-With all his affection for the lad, he wanted to be
-alone. He had held himself to Davy’s needs for
-hours; but through it all, the sentences&mdash;so brief
-and thoughtless across the breakfast table&mdash;recurred
-smitingly. They hurt everything in him
-and in an incredible fashion. He marvelled that
-he had been able to reply quietly. His face burned
-now, and he thought of the Faraway Woman&mdash;how
-gentle she had been, blaming nothing, holding
-no sense of being wronged. It was that which
-helped him now, though his heart was hot and
-aching.... One must have compassion for the
-world&mdash;one whose home is the house of such a
-woman.</p>
-
-<p>“It must not hurt the Gleam,” he said half-aloud.
-This was the burden of all his effort.
-“The Gleam is hers. I must not let the thought
-of this touch the Gleam&mdash;not even in my
-mind.”</p>
-
-<p>The young man was stranded in New York.
-They met as arranged the next morning.
-Many difficulties were related, and the perversities
-of outside influences and the actions of others.
-The great regret was that at a certain time when
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</span>he <i>had</i> the money more than a year ago, the young
-man had delayed for a day to purchase a certain
-little tobacconist’s shop on Seventh avenue. A
-friend of his had advised him against it, and
-plucked the fruit himself. This gave Bellair an
-idea.</p>
-
-<p>In the next ten days, everything seemed waiting
-for the manager of the <i>Follies</i> to decide the case
-of Bessie Brealt. Davy was permitted to look
-for a new job, but Bellair made light of his unsuccess....
-He did not look up Broadwell
-again, understanding clearly that the advertising-man
-would endanger his position in calling on
-him. Bellair was not ready to be responsible for
-such a loss to Broadwell. Employés of Lot &amp;
-Company did not change easily.... He was
-frequently, but never long with Bessie during
-these days. There were moments of disturbing
-sweetness, and moments that he struggled quickly
-to forget, as Nature sets about hastily to cover
-unseemly matters upon the ground.</p>
-
-<p>Now that the great event of her life had come,
-Bessie required much sleep, and cared for her
-beauty as never before. She already lived, for the
-most part, in the actual substance of victory, as
-only the young dare to do; yet she lost none of her
-zeal in preparation.... Bellair held to the original
-idea, though the means was not yet articulate.
-He was sensitive enough to realise that a man may
-be impertinent, even when trying to help another.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</span></p>
-
-<p>The tremendous discovery in this interval was
-that the open boat events which had proved so salutary
-and constructive in his own case, did not appear
-to have a comparable effect upon others when
-he related them. He began to believe that he had
-not authority, and that he must somehow try to
-gain authority by making good with men. He had
-his story to tell. He had seen the spirit and the
-flesh&mdash;beast and saint&mdash;watched them die. All
-life and hope and meaning were caught and held,
-as he saw it, between the manner of the deaths of
-two men. This experience had changed him&mdash;if
-not for the better&mdash;then he was insane.</p>
-
-<p>It was hard for him to grasp, that the thing
-which had changed him could not change others&mdash;even
-Bessie. Yet those who listened, except Davy
-and his mother, appeared to think that he was
-making much of an adventure for personal reasons.
-He tried to write his story, but felt the bones
-of his skull as never before. He began, “I am a
-simple man,” but deep guile might be construed to
-that.... “I want nothing,” he wrote, “but to
-make you see the half that I saw in the open
-boat,” and he heard the world replying in his consciousness,
-“The open boat is on this man Bellair’s
-nerves. It’s his mania. The sun or the
-thirst <i>did</i> touch him a bit.”...</p>
-
-<p>He became afraid to talk much even with Bessie,
-and New York boomed by, leaving him out&mdash;out....
-He tried to lift the signs of misery
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</span>on the way to the home of Davy’s mother, and in
-the surrounding halls, but the extent and terror of
-it dismayed him; and remarkably enough, always
-this same answer came: that he must get himself
-and the South Sea business in hand before a true
-beginning could be made here....</p>
-
-<p>It wasn’t on Seventh avenue that he found a
-cigar store to suit his purpose in this interval, but
-the promise was certainly as good as the old one.
-He put the New Zealand young man in charge, on
-a basis designed to challenge any one’s quality;
-and having done this in a businesslike fashion,
-Bellair made haste to escape. The sense was cool
-and abiding in his mind that in this case, as in
-Lot &amp; Company’s, the circle was complete. Still
-he retained the suspicion that the young man did
-not believe him sane.</p>
-
-<p>He followed the singer when she permitted, to
-dressmakers, rehearsals, quartette performances
-and meals; found other men following singers
-similarly, in all their byways of routine; he disliked
-them, disliked himself.</p>
-
-<p>He had not told her of his fortune, because he
-knew in his heart it would change everything. He
-helped in many small ways, and allowed her to
-believe what she chose. She had never identified
-him with large things, did not think the present
-arrangement could last, and made as much as possible
-of the convenience. They were together on
-the night before her try-out, though as usual it
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</span>was but a matter of moments. Bellair used most
-of them in silence. The tension of hurry always
-stopped his throat. He longed for one full day
-with her, a ramble without the clock; yet what
-would he do with it&mdash;he, who dared not go to the
-water-front alone&mdash;to whom the night whistling
-of steamers in the harbour was like the call of the
-child of his heart?</p>
-
-<p>“You are at your best,” he said. “Your voice
-was never sweeter than to-night. You must go
-now and sleep. To-morrow, of course, you will
-win, and when may I come?”</p>
-
-<p>Her face clouded. Perhaps because he said the
-opposite, the thought of possible defeat came now
-with a clearness which had not before appealed to
-her unpracticed imagination.</p>
-
-<p>“You may come to my room at twelve&mdash;no, at
-one. I shall go there at once after the trial&mdash;and
-you shall be first.”</p>
-
-<p>It pleased him, and since she did not seem inclined
-to leave just then, Bellair found himself
-talking of the future. Perhaps he did not entirely
-cover his zeal to change a little her full-hearted
-giving of self to the foam. Bessie bore it. He
-had not spoken of the open boat, but something he
-said was related to it in her mind.</p>
-
-<p>“To-morrow will settle everything,” she declared....
-“And I don’t like that other woman
-on the ship. She isn’t human. You think it
-amazing because she didn’t cry and scream. That
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</span>isn’t everything.... She’d be lost and unheard
-of here in New York.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, that is probably true.”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s all right for people who don’t write or
-paint or sing&mdash;to talk about real life and what’s
-right work in the world, but artists see it differently.
-Anyway, it’s the only job we’ve got.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair never forgot that, or rather what she
-had meant to say.</p>
-
-<p>“Singing is what drew me to you, Bessie. What
-I object to is what the world tries to do with its
-singers, and that so many singers fall for it.”</p>
-
-<p>“The world lets you more or less alone&mdash;until
-you make good. Plenty of time after that to
-answer back.”</p>
-
-<p>She yawned. It was as near reality as they had
-gotten, and Bellair, who asked so little, had a
-glimpse again of the loveliness he had first taken
-to sea&mdash;even to the kiss at the last. She also
-granted him this:</p>
-
-<p>“You’ve been good to me. I couldn’t have
-done without you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He lay awake long. The house in which he
-lived was very silent, and it pressed so close to the
-sea.</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">9</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">She was only partly dressed when he came
-early the next afternoon, but was not long in letting
-him in. Before any words, he knew that she
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</span>had won. A man often has to readjust hastily
-after the night before. It was so with Bellair
-now. Her eyes were bright with emotions, but a
-certain hardness was shining there. It was an
-effort for her to think of him and be kind. He
-would have seen it all in another’s story.</p>
-
-<p>His glance kept turning to her bare arm, upon
-which a hideous vaccination-scar was revealed.
-<i>They</i> had not thought of her singing in those days....
-She had never spoken of her house or her
-people. It was enough that those days were finished.
-Bellair could understand that. Her victory
-was all through her now, satisfying, completing
-her. She did not love money for its own
-sake or she would have treated him differently.
-All her surplus energy, even her passion, was
-turned to this open passage of her career. Having
-that, previous props could be kicked away; at
-least, Bellair felt this.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, it’s all done. A month of solid rehearsal&mdash;then
-the road. I take the second part, but I
-hope to come back in the first&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You were at your best at the trial?”</p>
-
-<p>“After the first moment or two.... And no
-more Brandt’s or <i>Castle</i>&mdash;no more with the other
-three&mdash;God, how sick I am of them&mdash;and of this
-room!”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you lunch with me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;I have until three.”</p>
-
-<p>It was shortly after one. She talked with animation<span class="pagenum" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</span>
-about her work, her eyes held to a glistening
-future. She finished her dressing leisurely,
-with loving touches, abandoning herself completely
-to the mirror as an old actress might, having
-conceded the essential importance of attractions.
-She studied her face and figure as if she
-were the maid to them. Bessie dressed for the
-world, not for herself, certainly not for Bellair.
-Without, in the world&mdash;streets, restaurants, theatres&mdash;there
-existed an abstraction which must be
-satisfied. She had not yet entered upon that perilous
-adventure of dressing for the eyes of one man.
-She did not think of Bellair as she lifted her arms
-to her hair. On no other morning could she have
-been so far from the sense of him in her room.
-Empires have fallen because a woman has lifted
-her naked arms to her hair with a man in the room.</p>
-
-<p>An older woman would have rewarded him for
-being there; an older woman never would have
-put on her hat for the street without remembering
-her humanity. There was something in Bessie
-that reserved the kiss for the last. Possibly after
-the last song of the day, a kiss remained. She
-put on the flowers he brought; even that did not
-remind her, nor the dress he had bought for her&mdash;asking
-him if he approved, not that she cared, but
-because she was turning before the glass with the
-thing upon her body and mind. She would have
-asked a child the same.</p>
-
-<p>They went to Beathe’s for luncheon, which was
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</span>also Bessie’s breakfast. There, it may have been
-that she was ready to forget herself, knowing it
-would keep for a little. In any event, she seemed
-to see Bellair as he ordered for her, as if recalling
-that he had made many things move easily of
-late, and that it was pleasant to have these matters,
-even luncheons, conducted by another.
-Thinking of him, the voyage was instantly associated:</p>
-
-<p>“I said last night that I didn’t like that
-woman,” she began. “I didn’t mean just that, of
-course. But a woman can see another woman better
-than a man. There are women who keep their
-mouths shut and get great reputations for being
-wise and all that. They never associate with
-women. You’ll always find them with men, playing
-sister and helping and saying little. Men get
-to think they’re the whole thing&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose there are,” said Bellair.</p>
-
-<p>He wished she had not picked up this particular
-point again; and yet a certain novelty about this
-impressed him now, and recurred many times
-afterward&mdash;that it was she who had broached
-the subject.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you think a man knows men better than a
-woman does?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>Bessie had not thought of it; she was not sure.</p>
-
-<p>Nor was Bellair. “The fact is, it doesn’t
-greatly matter what women think of women, and
-what men think of men&mdash;compared to what men
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</span>and women think of each other,” he observed.</p>
-
-<p>“You say you didn’t know that other man at
-first&mdash;that preacher,” she remarked.</p>
-
-<p>“That’s true. There had to be danger&mdash;I had
-to hear his voice in danger.”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was lifted to his life-theme. He had
-never really told it in one piece. He did not mean
-to now, but Fleury came clearly to mind. The
-food was served and it was quiet behind the palms.
-If he could only say something for her heart.
-She seemed ready. Points of human interest were
-crowding to mind&mdash;perhaps he could hold her
-with them.</p>
-
-<p>“... His every thought was for others,” he
-was saying. “I disliked him at first, but he was so
-kind and good-natured throughout that he could
-not fail to impress me a bit, but I didn’t really see
-him before the night of the wreck, when he arose to
-take things in hand. It was not noise, nor voice,
-but a different force. He seemed to rise&mdash;so that
-the huge Stackhouse was just a squealing pig before
-him. He had no fear. You looked into his
-face and wanted to be near him, and to do what
-he said. I caught his secret. A fool would. It
-was because he wasn’t thinking of himself. It
-seems, Bessie, as sure as you live&mdash;that the more
-a man gives out in that pure way Fleury did for
-us all&mdash;the more power floods into him. It came
-to him in volumes. We all knew it&mdash;even Stackhouse&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</span></p>
-
-<p>“And this is what I’m getting at. <i>You’ve</i> got
-the chance to use it. I can’t yet. I seem to be
-all clotted with what I want, but you can! You
-did. You pulled me out of the crowd, not knowing
-me at all&mdash;made me come to you&mdash;changed
-me. You can <i>give</i> with your singing&mdash;to hundreds&mdash;so
-that they will answer in their thoughts,
-and do things strange to themselves at first.
-They’ll want to die for you&mdash;but that isn’t the
-thing for you. You must want to sing for them&mdash;want
-to give them your soul all the time. Greater
-things will come to you than this&mdash;this which
-makes you happy. All that the world could give
-you&mdash;you will come to see&mdash;doesn’t matter&mdash;but
-what you can give the world&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He saw her falling away from his story. It
-crippled him. He did not think he could fail so
-utterly.</p>
-
-<p>“But you <i>were</i> a thief,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“I&mdash;was what?”</p>
-
-<p>“You preach all the time, but you were a
-thief&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He had heard aright. His hand reached for
-the wallet, that contained the letter from Lot &amp;
-Company, but fell from it again.</p>
-
-<p>“If you like,” he answered, “but I saw a beast
-die in the open boat&mdash;and saw a saint die&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You preach&mdash;preach&mdash;preach!” she cried, and
-her own points of view returned with greater intensity.
-“You’ve been kind&mdash;but, oh, you bore
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</span>me so! You have been kind&mdash;but oh, don’t think
-you fail to make one pay the price! You were
-sunstruck, or crazed&mdash;and you come back preaching.
-I’m sick of you&mdash;just in my highest day,
-after the months of struggle&mdash;I hate you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair heard a ship’s bell. It was dark about
-him&mdash;a cool, serene dark. The air fanned him
-softly and sweet; the place rocked&mdash;just for an
-instant, as if he were at sea.</p>
-
-<p>“I hate you when you preach,” she finished.
-Her voice was softer. He knew she was smiling,
-but did not look at her face. She had delivered
-him. He was calm, and ineffably free, the circle
-finished.</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Oh, that we two were Maying</i>&mdash;&mdash;” he muttered,
-his thoughts far down the seas&mdash;remote and
-insular, serene and homing thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>“It takes two to sing that,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, I’m so sick of that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You must have sung it many times,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>He did not want to linger. A certain hush had
-come to her from him. It was not yet three....
-He seemed surprised to find it broad day in the
-street. She touched his sleeve, drawing him to the
-curb, away from the crowds which astonished him.
-Clearly something was wrong with his head.</p>
-
-<p>“Bessie&mdash;before your salary begins&mdash;have you
-everything? Isn’t there something&mdash;&mdash;?”</p>
-
-<p>She smiled and hesitated. He rubbed his eyes.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I’m so glad I thought of it,” he said, drawing
-forth the brown wallet.</p>
-
-<p>His gift bewildered her, but she did not ask
-him this time what he wanted. Instead she asked:</p>
-
-<p>“But where are you going?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, Bessie, I’m going home.”</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_319">[Pg 319-321]</span></p>
-<h2 class="nobreak" id="PART_SEVEN_THE_STONE_HOUSE_II">PART SEVEN<br />
-THE STONE HOUSE: II</h2></div>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">1</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent"><span class="smcap"><span class="dropcap">T</span>he</span> hard thing was to get Honolulu behind.
-The first seven days at sea was
-like a voyage to another planet. Bellair
-could lose himself in the universe,
-between the banging of the Chinese gongs that
-called passengers willingly, for the most part, to
-meals on the British ship <i>Suwarrow</i>.... They
-had crawled out of the harbour in the dusk, a
-southwest wind waiting at the gate, like an eager
-lover for a maiden to steal forth. She was in his
-arms shamelessly, before the dusk closed, the voices
-from the land hardly yet having died away. Bellair
-watched their meeting in the offing. The
-blusterer came head on; the <i>Suwarrow</i> veered coquettishly
-and started to run, knowing him the
-swifter and the stronger, as all woman-things love
-to know. Presently he had her, and they made a
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</span>night of it&mdash;the moon breaking out aghast from
-time to time, above black and flying garments of
-cloud. Bellair enjoyed the game, the funnels
-smoking the upper decks straight forward. They
-were making a passage that night, in the southward
-lift of that lover.</p>
-
-<p>He had found a little leaf of cigars in a German
-shop in Honolulu; the same reminding him of
-Stackhouse. They were <i>Brills</i>, with a Trichinopoli
-flavour, a wrapping from the States, the main
-filler doubtless from the Island plantations. The
-German had talked of them long, playing with
-the clotty little fellows in his hands, for they were
-moist enough, not easily to be broken. “You sink
-your teeth in one of these after a good dinner,”
-he said, “and if you do not enjoy tobacco, it is
-because you have been smoking other plants.
-These are made by a workman&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Bellair smoked to the workman; also he smoked
-to Stackhouse. Something kindly had come over
-him for the Animal. Lot &amp; Company had helped
-him to it.... Yes, he thought, the animal part
-is right enough. It is only when the human adult
-consciousness turns predatory that the earth is laid
-waste and the stars are fogged.... These were
-but back-flips of Bellair’s mind. In the main he
-was held so furiously ahead, that body and brain
-ached with the strain. As nearly as he could describe
-from the sensation, there was a carbon-stick
-upstanding between his diaphragm and his throat.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_323">[Pg 323]</span>Every time he thought of Auckland, it turned
-hot.</p>
-
-<p>... He knew better where to begin now. The
-beginning was not in New York. The wallet was
-heavy upon him; he must not waste it; nor allow
-it to waste itself through bad management. Auckland
-was a desirable centre for the Stackhouse
-operations. He could travel forth from one
-agency to another. The fundamental ideas of
-trade, together with large knowledge of how trade
-should not be conducted, was his heritage from
-Lot &amp; Company. He would begin slowly and
-sincerely to work out his big problems&mdash;holding
-the fruits loosely in his hands; ready to give them
-up to another, if that other should appear; contenting
-himself only with the simplest things;
-preparing always to be poorer, instead of richer....
-He would earn the right to be poor. The
-thought warmed him, something of the natural
-strength of youth about it.</p>
-
-<p>Standing out of the wind with an expensive
-cigar, a superb course-dinner finished less than an
-hour back, Bellair smiled at the ease of poverty,
-welcoming all the details of clean, austere denial.
-Yet he was not so far from it as would appear.
-He had always taken these matters of luxury and
-satiety with tentative grasp; even the dinners of
-Stackhouse were but studies of life. His ideal was
-closely adjusted to the Faraway Woman’s in these
-things. One of the dearest of her sayings had to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_324">[Pg 324]</span>do with renting the two front rooms of the stone
-cottage. Yet now he hoped furiously that she
-had not yet done so.</p>
-
-<p>His thoughts turned again out among the
-Islands. He would meet the agents of Stackhouse.
-They would be bewildered at first; they
-would think he had come to peer and bite. He
-would lift and help and pass on&mdash;making the circles
-again and again, gaining confidence, not saying
-much. No, the thing he had in mind had little
-to do with words.... What a masonry among
-men&mdash;here and there one giving his best secretly.</p>
-
-<p><i>No words about it.</i> Bellair halted and filled
-his lungs from the good breeze. This thought had
-repeated itself like a certain bright pattern through
-all the weave of his conception. It had a familiar
-look, and a prod that startled him now. The
-whole meaning of it rushed home, so that he
-laughed.</p>
-
-<p>He had reached in his own way, the exact point
-that Fleury had set out with. He was determined
-to act. He had ceased to talk.... Just then
-looking up from his laughing reverie, he saw a star.
-It was ahead, not high, very brilliant and golden.
-It had only escaped a moment between the flying
-black figures of the night, but more brilliant for
-that. It was vast and familiar&mdash;the meaning tried
-the throat and struck at his heart with strange
-suffering.... Yes, the <i>Suwarrow</i> was lifting the
-southern stars. There could be no doubt. He had
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_325">[Pg 325]</span>looked at that mighty sun too often from the open
-boat to mistake. Fleury had said if it were as near
-to earth as our sun, this little planet would be
-dried to a cinder in ten seconds. It was the great
-golden ball, <i>Canopus</i>.... A hand was placed
-softly in his. Bellair was startled. He had been
-far away, yet the gladness was instant, as he
-turned down to the face of Davy Acton.</p>
-
-<p>“She’s better,” the boy said. “I’ve been trying
-to get her to come up on deck. She told me to ask
-you, if you thought it best.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sure, Davy&mdash;I’ll go with you to get her.”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">2</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">He had seen very little of Mrs. Acton during
-the voyage. Sailing was not her feat, but
-the lady was winsome after her fast. Bellair had
-found her very brave, and there had not been such
-an opportunity to tell her so, as this night. He
-wanted enough light to see her face, and enough
-air to keep her above any qualm. They found a
-cane-table, on the lee-side, toward America, the
-light of a cabin passage upon it. Bellair ordered
-an innocuous drink for Davy and himself, and
-whispered along a pint of champagne, having
-heard it spoken well of as an antidote for those
-emerging from the sickness of the sea.</p>
-
-<p>“... It’s a little charged, cidery sort of a
-drink&mdash;just made for people convalescent from the
-first days out of ’Frisco,” he said.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_326">[Pg 326]</span></p>
-<p>She drank with serene confidence, and leaned
-back to regard the glass and the two.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s not unlike a wine I drank long ago,” she
-observed, and her eyes warmed with the memory.</p>
-
-<p>“A wine?” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Just so, but it’s no crutch for the poor, I should
-say, by the way it comes&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>She pointed to the service-tub, which, unfortunately,
-was of silver.</p>
-
-<p>“They like to keep it cold,” Bellair suggested.</p>
-
-<p>“It would need ice to keep that cold,” she replied.</p>
-
-<p>There was a lyrical lilt to her words that he
-had not known before; in fact he hadn’t quite
-known Mrs. Acton before. She was lifted from
-the stratum of the submerged. She had her hands,
-her health, and the days now and ahead were novel
-in aspect. A little seasickness was nothing to one
-who had met the City, and for years prevented it
-from taking her boy. The heart for adventure
-was not dead within her.... In fact, Bellair,
-surveying the little plump white creature in new
-black, with a sparkle in her eye, her hand upon the
-thin stem of a glass, entered upon a pleasant passage.</p>
-
-<p>“You see, Mrs. Acton&mdash;I’ve been struck ever
-since we sailed by the courage you showed in crossing
-the world like this, at the word from a
-stranger&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Stranger,” she repeated.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_327">[Pg 327]</span></p>
-
-<p>“I wanted you to take me up on that, but the
-fact is, you came at my word.”</p>
-
-<p>“’Twas not much I had to leave&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I liked it better than the hotel.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know, Mr. Bellair, I never gave up
-the hope of travel&mdash;a bit of travel before I passed?
-But I thought it would be alone from Davy&mdash;&mdash;”
-Her eyes glistened.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair was wondering if there were others in
-that tenement-house who had kept a hope.</p>
-
-<p>“You know,” he said, “when I decided to ask
-you to come&mdash;because I was far from finished with
-our lad&mdash;I anticipated that it would be somewhat
-of a struggle. I saw how hard it was for you at
-first&mdash;the night we told you about his loss of a
-place&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“We were on the edge so long&mdash;the least bump
-ready to push us over,” she murmured.</p>
-
-<p>“I made a little arrangement with the express
-company to furnish you with a return ticket&mdash;you
-and Davy, or cheques to secure them, and
-enough beside to get you back to New York at
-any time&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes widened. She turned to her boy to
-see if he were in this great business. Wonders had
-not ceased for him, since the first evening at the
-hotel. Davy was intent upon her now, even more
-than upon his friend.</p>
-
-<p>“So I had it all fixed in your name. There’s an
-agency in Auckland&mdash;one in every city&mdash;so you
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_328">[Pg 328]</span>can’t go broke. And no one can cash these things
-but you&mdash;after you call and register your signature.
-You’ll find enough and to spare for your
-passage (though I hope you won’t use it for many
-a year), and expenses for you and the boy&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>There were tears in her eyes. Bellair poured
-her wineglass full in the excitement.</p>
-
-<p>“You didn’t need to do anything like that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s a point I am particularly proud of,”
-he answered.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll put this away for you,” she said, taking
-the proffered envelope.</p>
-
-<p>The face of dusty wax-work sped past his inner
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s all one,” she added. “It’s easy for me to
-say this, having nothing but what you give me.
-Did you hear of the house where every one put
-what they had in a basket hanging from the ceiling?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“’Twas mainly empty. The poor are great-hearted,
-and those who have nothing.... This,
-I’ll put in no basket, but the bank, and you’ll have
-it when you get through giving away the rest. I’ll
-trust in the Lord, sure, to take me home&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I haven’t been very successful in giving away
-much,” he said. “That’s our problem down here
-among the Islands. Davy is to grow up and help
-me. You are to help us. There is another to help
-us.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_329">[Pg 329]</span></p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Acton finished her glass. “Is it as much
-as that, then?”</p>
-
-<p>Davy was regarding her with fine pride in his
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair sent him to the cabin for a book that
-would be hard to find, and turned to the boy’s
-mother:</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve got something to say to you about Davy.
-I brought back a story and a fortune from my
-other trip down here. The story was more important
-by a whole lot. It changed everything
-for me. I thought I’d only have to tell it, to
-change others. That didn’t work. But Davy
-listened, and he wasn’t the same afterward.</p>
-
-<p>“I didn’t understand him at first. I used to
-think when he didn’t speak, he was bored. I used
-to think I had to entertain him, buy him with gifts.
-But I was wrong. He was thinking things out for
-himself all the time. He was puzzled at first why
-any one cared to be good to him and be a friend to
-him&mdash;God, what a price the world must pay for
-making boys as strange to kindness as that....
-But this is what I want to say. He believed in
-me long ago in Lot &amp; Company’s. I succeeded in
-making him believe in me again. And because he
-believed in me, he believed in my story, and when
-he heard that&mdash;he wasn’t the same afterward.</p>
-
-<p>“I tell you, boys are full of wonderful things,
-but the world has shut the door on them. All
-we’ve got to do is to be patient and kind and keep
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_330">[Pg 330]</span>the door open, and we’ll have human heroes about
-us presently, instead of wolves and foxes and parrots
-and apes.... I learned that from Davy
-Acton. After he accepted me, he got my story&mdash;and
-that showed me that my work is with boys,
-and that first I’ve got to make them believe in me.
-I’ve got to be the kind of a man to win that.
-We’ll all pull together&mdash;you and Davy and that
-other and I.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m going to help Davy, and I’m going to help
-boys. They’re not set. They change. They are
-open to dreams and ready for action. They can
-forget themselves long enough to listen. The
-world has treated them badly; the world has been
-a stupid fool in bringing up its children. Why,
-it’s half luck if we manage to amount to anything!
-I think I know now how to do better. I’m going
-to try. Why, I’d spend five years and all I have
-to give one boy his big, deep chance of being as
-human as God intended. I’ll help boys to find
-their work, show them how to be clean and fit and
-strong. I’ll show them that <i>getting</i> is but an incident,
-and when carried too far becomes the crime
-and the hell of the world.... He’s coming
-back&mdash;and he’s found the book, too. I must use
-it&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>He had told his story in a kind of gust, and the
-little woman had listened like a sensitive-plate, her
-eyes brimming, her son moving higher and higher
-in a future that was safe and green and pure....
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_331">[Pg 331]</span>It had come out at last for Bellair. He was
-happy, for he knew that this which had been born
-to-night, with the help of the mother’s listening,
-was the right good thing&mdash;the thing that had
-come home from hard experience to the heart of a
-simple man.</p>
-
-<p>“Davy,” he said, “I’ve got a suspicion that your
-mother could eat something. Call a steward, lad.”</p>
-
-<p>She started and fumbled for her handkerchief.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know&mdash;that is&mdash;I might try a bite,
-Mr. Bellair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The man was smiling. Davy returned and sat
-down wonderingly between them. His mother
-kept her mouth covered, but her eyes were wells
-of joy.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know whether it’s that cider that needs
-keeping so cold,” she began steadily, “or this
-which Mr. Bellair has been saying, but the truth
-is, Davy, I haven’t been so happy since a girl&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“A little lunch will fix that,” Bellair suggested
-absently.</p>
-
-<p>“If it will,” she returned, “tell the man that it’s
-nothing I wish for, this night.”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">3</p>
-
-<p class="no-indent">Auckland passengers were not to be landed
-until the morning, but the <i>Suwarrow</i> sent one
-boat ashore that night. By some law unknown
-to the outsider, a few top bags of mail
-were discriminately favoured, and they were in
-<span class="pagenum2" id="Page_332">[Pg 332]</span>the boat. The second officer, with a handful of
-telegrams to be filed; a travelling salesman called
-home from the States on account of family illness,
-also Bellair were in the boat. He had told Davy
-and his mother that he was going to prepare a
-place for them; that he would be back on the deck
-of the <i>Suwarrow</i> before nine in the morning. Because
-the little landing party was out of routine,
-an hour or more was required for Bellair to obtain
-release to the streets. It was now midnight.</p>
-
-<p>Three months away, and there had been no
-word from the woman who had remained. In
-fact, no arrangement for writing had been agreed
-upon, except in case New York should hold him.
-He had never seen the writing of the Faraway
-Woman.... He believed with profound conviction
-that within an hour’s ride by trolley from the
-place in the street where he moved so hastily now,
-there was a bluff, a stone cottage, a woman waiting
-for him, and a child near her; that all was well
-with the two and the place. Yet he lived and
-moved now in a wearing, driving terror. All his
-large and little moments of the past three months
-passed before him like dancers on a flash-lit stage,
-some beautiful, some false and ugly, but each calling
-his eyes, something of his own upon them.</p>
-
-<p>The world had shown him well that man is
-not ready for joy when he fears, yet Bellair was
-afraid. Man deserves that which he complains of.
-Still, he was afraid. He was exultant, too.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_333">[Pg 333]</span>Cities might change and nations and laws,
-but not that woman’s heart. He did not believe
-she could love him, but he knew of her fondness
-hoped for that again. She was in a
-safe place&mdash;as any place in the world is safe. She
-was well, with a health he had never known in
-another, and the child was flesh of her. Yet he
-feared, his heart too full to speak. He did not deserve
-her, but he hoped for the miracle, hoped that
-the driving laws of the human heart might be merciful,
-hoped for her fondness again.</p>
-
-<p>He would stand before her at his worst&mdash;all
-weakness and commonness of the man, Bellair,
-open before her. Perhaps she would see his love
-because of that, but he would not be able to tell
-her. Never could he ask for her. If it were made
-known, it would not be through words. It could
-only come from him in a kind of delirium. <i>He</i>
-must be carried away, a passion must take him out
-of self. Very far he seemed from passion; rather
-this was like a child in his heart, with gifts, deep
-and changeless, but inarticulate, as a child is. It
-had been long in coming, quietly fulfilling itself,
-and this was the rising.</p>
-
-<p>... The last car was gone, but he found a carriage&mdash;an
-open carriage, a slow horse, a cool and
-starry night. The city was growing silent, the
-edges darkened. There were high trees, a homing
-touch about them after the sea, and a glimpse of
-the harbour to the left. Bellair had not even a bag
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_334">[Pg 334]</span>with him. He would take off his hat for a way,
-and then put it on again. Sometimes he would
-let his ungloved hand hang overside, as one would
-do in a small boat. There was a leathery smell
-from the seat of the carriage, with a bit of stable
-flavour, that would get into a man’s clothes if he
-stayed long enough. It was dusty, too, something
-like a tight room full of old leather-bound books.</p>
-
-<p>The horse plumped along, a little lurch forward
-at every fourth beat. Hunched and wrapped, the
-driver sat, and extraordinarily still&mdash;a man used
-to sitting, who gave himself utterly to it, a most
-spineless and sunken manner. Every little while
-he coughed, and every little while he spat....
-Once they passed a motor-car&mdash;two men and a
-girl laughing between them; then the interurban
-trolley going back&mdash;the car he had missed. His
-heart thumped. It was the same car that he had
-known, the same tracks, no upheaval of the earth
-here so far.</p>
-
-<p>Meanwhile, Bellair was rounding the Horn in
-the <i>Jade</i>; they struck rock or derelict, were lost
-for ages in an open boat; they came to Auckland
-and found a little stone house on the bluff, paused
-there....</p>
-
-<p>He was away at sea again, from Auckland to
-’Frisco, across the States, to <i>Brandt’s</i>, to <i>Pastern’s</i>,
-to Lot &amp; Company’s and the tenements, to the
-<i>Castle</i> and the Landlady’s House; then trains and
-the long southern sweep of the <i>Suwarrow</i>, down
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_335">[Pg 335]</span>the great sea again to this ... plumping along
-on the high, rocky shore. The brine came up to
-him, almost as from the open boat. His eyes
-smarted, his throat was dry, and the driver
-coughed.</p>
-
-<p>Bellair had paper money in his hand. He
-meant to look at it under the carriage-light, when
-he stepped forth near the Gate. He leaned forward
-and touched the great coat.</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Whoa</i>,” said the man, loud enough to rouse
-the seven sleepers, and the horse came up with a
-teeter.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t stop,” said Bellair. “It’s a little ahead
-yet. I’ll tell you when to stop.... Yes, let him
-walk&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Now, Bellair surveyed what he had said. He
-was like that, just about as coherent as that. The
-<i>whoa</i> had shaken him empty for the most part....
-He would not know what to say to her. He
-would sit or stand like a fool and grin.... But
-she was great-hearted. She would help him....
-Awe and silence crept into him again.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, pull up&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>Whoa</i>,” was the answer, shaking the trees.</p>
-
-<p>“There, that will do,” Bellair said tensely. He
-stepped out and passed over the money, forgetting
-to look at it. He was afraid the man would roar
-again.</p>
-
-<p>It was nearer than he thought, but a step to the
-Gate; its latch lifted softly and he crossed the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_336">[Pg 336]</span>gravel, held by the voice of the rig turning behind.
-It turned slowly as a ship in a small berth, and
-the voice carried like the cackle of geese....
-There was no light. He was on the step. Something
-sweet was growing at the door.... Something
-brushed him at his feet. He leaned down
-in the darkness, and touched the tabby-puss,
-knocked softly.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes&mdash;&mdash;” came from within.</p>
-
-<p>“It is I, Bellair&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>The door was opened to absolute blackness. She
-was not in his arms. Rather he was in her arms.
-She seemed to tower above him. Around was the
-softness and fragrance of her arms and her breast....
-Not the cottage&mdash;her arms made the home of
-man. She held him from her, left him standing
-bewildered in the centre of the room. He heard
-her match, and her voice like a sigh, trailing to
-him almost like a spirit-thing:</p>
-
-<p>“Oh,&mdash;I&mdash;am&mdash;so&mdash;happy!”</p>
-
-<p>The lamp was lit, but she left it in the alcove,
-came to him again, a shawl about her. Lights
-were playing upon his shut eye-lids, fulfilment in
-his arms that a man can only know when he has
-crossed the world to a woman, not a maiden; a
-plenitude that a maiden cannot give.</p>
-
-<p>And now she brought the light, and looked into
-his face&mdash;her own gleaming behind it, full of rapture,
-the face of a love-woman, some inspired
-training of the centuries upon it, all the mystery
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_337">[Pg 337]</span>and delicacy for a man’s eyes that he can endure
-and live....</p>
-
-<p>“What is it?”</p>
-
-<p>He could only look at her.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it?” more softly.</p>
-
-<p>As if the thing had been left over in his mind,
-and required clearing away, he answered:</p>
-
-<p>“Are&mdash;are the rooms rented?”</p>
-
-<p>She laughed, came closer than the light.</p>
-
-<p>“We are alone&mdash;only the child. I could not
-let any one come&mdash;the rooms seemed yours....
-I thought you would come. It was time enough to
-change when I heard from you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“The little Gleam&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he is here.... Oh, did you know what it
-meant to us&mdash;when you went away?”</p>
-
-<p>“I knew what it meant to me&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“After the open boat and the days together
-here&mdash;you knew all?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought it would be easier.... And you
-are changed! You are like a man who has found
-his Quest.”</p>
-
-<p>She was about him like magic. They were moving
-toward the little room. She stopped and put
-the lamp back in the alcove.</p>
-
-<p>“We will not take it in there. It would wake
-him.”</p>
-
-<p>... It was dark upon the threshold. She took
-his hand. He heard her heart beating, or was it
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_338">[Pg 338]</span>his own?... They heard the little breathing.
-She guided his hand to the warm little hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he is well,” she whispered. “Everything
-is perfect with your coming.... There....
-You hurried home to me, didn’t you?... Yes,
-I hoped. I felt the ship. I could not sleep. I
-wondered if I could be wrong.... Oh, to think
-of the dawn coming in&mdash;finding us here together
-... and the little Gleam....”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Gray light was coming in. Her face was shadowed,
-but the gray was faint about her hair. His
-heart had taken something perfect from her; something
-of the nature of that peace which had come
-to him at the <i>Jade’s</i> rail crossing the Line, but
-greater than that, the fulfilment of that. Because
-it was perfect, it could not last in its fulness.
-That was the coolness of the Hills, but his love
-was glowing now like noon sunlight in a valley,
-the redolence of high sunlight in the river lowlands.
-Mother Earth had taken them again.</p>
-
-<p>It was the tide of life; it was as she had told
-him it must be with her, akin to the loveliest processes
-of nature, like the gilding of a tea-rose, like
-the flight of swans. He watched her as the dawn
-rose, as a woman is only to be seen in her own
-room; watched her without words, until from the
-concentration, that which had been bound floated
-free within him.... A sentence she had spoken
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_339">[Pg 339]</span>(it may have been an hour, or a moment ago)
-returned to his consciousness. “Oh, how I wanted
-you to come home to-night!”</p>
-
-<p>His mind was full of pictures and power. It
-may have been the strangeness of the light, but
-his eyes could not hold her face, nor his mind remember
-the face that had welcomed him in the
-lamplight. Different faces moved before his eyes,
-a deep likeness in the plan of them, as pearls
-would be sorted and matched for one string, a
-wonderful sisterhood of faces, tenderness, fortitude,
-ardour, joy, renunciation. It was like a
-stroke. He had loved them all&mdash;facets of one
-jewel. And was the jewel her soul?</p>
-
-<p>He arose, without turning from her, and moved
-to the far corner of the room, where there was
-neither chair nor table. As he moved, he watched
-her with tireless thirsting eyes.</p>
-
-<p>She arose and came to him, moving low....
-This figure that came, thrilled him again with the
-old magic of the river-banks. He could not pass
-the wonder of her crossing the room to follow him....
-And now he saw her lips in the light&mdash;a
-girl’s shyness about her lips. She was a girl that
-instant&mdash;as if a veil had dropped behind her. It
-had never been so before&mdash;a woman always, wise
-and finished with years, compared to whom that
-other was a child. And yet she was little older
-than that other&mdash;in years. He loved the shyness
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_340">[Pg 340]</span>of her lips. It was like one familiar bloom in
-the midst of exotic wonders. It seemed he would
-fall&mdash;before she touched him.</p>
-
-<p>She was low in his arms, as if her knees were
-bent, as if she would make herself less for her
-lord.... And something in that, even as he held
-her, opened the long low roads of the past&mdash;glimpses
-from that surging mystery behind us all&mdash;as
-if they had sinned and expiated and aspired
-together.</p>
-
-<p>“... That you would come to me&mdash;&mdash;” he
-whispered.</p>
-
-<p>“I have wanted to come to you so long.”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought&mdash;I could not tell you&mdash;I thought I
-would stand helpless without words before you.
-Why, everything I thought was wrong. I can
-tell you&mdash;but there is no need&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“There is little need of words between us.”</p>
-
-<p>... That which she wore upon her feet was
-heel-less, and all the cries and calls and warnings
-and distances of the world were gone from between
-them, as they stood together.... And
-once her arms left him and were upheld, as if to
-receive a perfect gift. A woman could command
-heaven with that gesture.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They had reached the end of the forest, and
-found the dawn. The sounds of the world came
-back to them like an enchanter’s drone.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_341">[Pg 341]</span></p>
-<p>“Come,” she said, taking his hand, “it is day.
-We must return to the village. And oh, to our
-little Gleam! He is awakening. He will speak
-your name.”</p>
-
-<p class="center no-indent">THE END</p>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph2 nobreak">BY WILL LEVINGTON COMFORT</p></div>
-
-<div class="adblock">
-<p class="center no-indent"><i>A Brief Expression of the Critical Reception of</i></p>
-
-<p class="ph2">DOWN AMONG MEN</p>
-
-<p><i>Outlook</i>: Possessed of a marvelous descriptive
-genius, equipped with a remarkably flexible
-use of English and impelled by the passion of a
-mystic&mdash;the author of <i>Down Among Men</i> has
-written a striking novel.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Dial</i>: Seems to us the most exalted and
-appealing story Mr. Comfort has thus far written.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Argonaut</i>: A novel of extraordinary
-power. It is good as <i>Routledge Rides Alone</i>. It
-could hardly be better.</p>
-
-<p><i>London Post</i>: Alive with incident, bounding
-with physical energy, dramatic in coloring, and
-modern in every phrase. He has a message delivered
-with vigor, inspired with tense passion.</p>
-
-<p><i>Atlantic Monthly</i>: There is so much real fire
-in it&mdash;the fire of youth that has seen and suffered&mdash;so
-much vitality and passion that one grows
-chary of petty comments. The writer offers us
-the cup of life, and there is blood in the cup.</p>
-
-<p><i>Chicago Record-Herald</i>: An almost perfect
-tale of courage and adventure.</p>
-
-<p><i>Chicago Tribune</i>: Contains some of the most
-remarkable scenes that have appeared in recent
-American fiction.</p>
-
-<p><i>New York Times</i>: Few richer novels than
-this of Mr. Comfort’s have been published in
-many a long day.</p>
-
-<p><i>New York Globe</i>: We can say in all sincerity
-that we know of no recent bit of descriptive writing
-that can match this for sustained, breathless,
-dramatic interest.</p>
-
-<p><i>Springfield Republican</i>: <i>Down Among Men</i>
-is perhaps the most ambitious American novel that
-has come out during the past year.</p>
-
-<p class="right"><i>12mo., Net $1.25.</i></p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="adblock"><div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph2">MIDSTREAM</p></div>
-
-<p>... A hint from the first-year’s recognition of
-a book that was made to remain in American literature:</p>
-
-<p><i>Boston Transcript</i>: If it be extravagance, let
-it be so, to say that Comfort’s account of his childhood
-has seldom been rivaled in literature. It
-amounts to revelation. Really the only parallels
-that will suggest themselves in our letters are the
-great ones that occur in <i>Huckleberry Finn</i>....
-This man Comfort’s gamut is long and he has
-raced its full length. One wonders whether the
-interest, the skill, the general worth of it, the
-things it has to report of all life, as well as the
-one life, do not entitle <i>Midstream</i> to the very
-long life that is enjoyed only by the very best of
-books.</p>
-
-<p><i>San Francisco Argonaut</i>: Read the book. It
-is autobiography in its perfection. It shows more
-of the realities of the human being, more of god
-and devil in conflict, than any book of its kind.</p>
-
-<p><i>Springfield Republican</i>: It is difficult to think
-of any other young American who has so courageously
-reversed the process of writing for the
-“market” and so flatly insisted upon being taken,
-if at all, on his own terms of life and art. And
-now comes his frank and amazing revelation, <i>Midstream</i>,
-in which he captures and carries the reader
-on to a story of regeneration. He has come
-far; the question is, how much farther will he go?</p>
-
-<p>Mary Fanton Roberts in <i>The Craftsman</i>:
-Beside the stature of this book, the ordinary novel
-and biography are curiously dwarfed. You read
-it with a poignant interest and close it with wonder,
-reverence and gratitude. There is something
-strangely touching about words so candid, and a
-draught of philosophy that has been pressed from
-such wild and bitter-sweet fruit. The message
-it contains is one to sink deep, penetrating and
-enriching whatever receptive soul it touches. This
-man’s words are incandescent. Many of us feel
-that he is breathing into a language, grown trite
-from hackneyed usage, the inspiration of a quickened
-life.</p>
-
-<p>Ida Gilbert Myers in <i>Washington Star</i>: Courage
-backs this revelation. The gift of self-searching
-animates it. Honesty sustains it. And Mr.
-Comfort’s rare power to seize and deliver his
-vision inspires it. It is a tremendous thing&mdash;the
-greatest thing that this writer has yet done.</p>
-
-<p>George Soule in <i>The Little Review</i>: Here is
-a man’s life laid absolutely bare. A direct, big
-thing, so simple that almost no one has done it
-before&mdash;this Mr. Comfort has dared. People who
-are made uncomfortable by intimate grasp of
-anything, to whom reserve is more important than
-truth&mdash;these will not read <i>Midstream</i> through,
-but others will emerge from the book with
-a sense of the absolute nobility of Mr. Comfort’s
-frankness.</p>
-
-<p>Edwin Markham in <i>Hearst’s Magazine</i>: Will
-Levington Comfort, a novelist of distinction, has
-given us a book alive with human interest, with
-passionate sincerity, and with all the power of his
-despotism over words. He has been a wandering
-foot&mdash;familiar with many strands; he has known
-shame and sorrow and striving; he has won to
-serene heights. He tells it all without vaunt, relating
-his experience to the large meanings of
-life for all men, to the mystic currents behind
-life, out of which we come, to whose great deep
-we return.</p>
-
-<p class="right"><i>12mo., Net, $1.25</i></p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="adblock"><div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph2 nobreak">RED FLEECE</p></div>
-
-<p><i>Springfield Republican</i>: The first genuine war
-novel.</p>
-
-<p><i>Outlook</i>: The first novel of any real consequence
-dealing with the great war.</p>
-
-<p><i>San Francisco Argonaut</i>: An extraordinary
-book. The reader of Comfort’s book is carried
-away on a storm of emotion.</p>
-
-<p><i>New York Tribune</i>: Decidedly the first notable
-novel of the great war is Will Levington
-Comfort’s <i>Red Fleece</i>. Comfort sees in the
-moujik’s dreamy soul the seed of a spiritual regeneration
-of the world.</p>
-
-<p><i>The Dial</i>: As a stylist, Mr. Comfort has never
-done better work. “His clothing smelled of
-death; and one morning before the smoke fell, he
-watched the sun shining upon the smoke-clad
-hills. That moment the thought held him
-that the pine-trees were immortal, and men just
-the dung of the earth.” It is not given to many
-men to write such English as that.</p>
-
-<p><i>Boston Transcript</i>: This is a story written in
-wireless. It leaves a lightning impression.</p>
-
-<p><i>New York Times</i>: This novel has one most
-unusual fault. It is not long enough.</p>
-
-<p><i>Churchman</i>, New York: By far the most interesting
-and thoughtful book of fiction springing
-from the great war.</p>
-
-<p class="right"><i>12mo., Net, $1.25</i></p></div>
-
-<hr class="chap x-ebookmaker-drop" />
-
-<div class="transnote"><div class="chapter">
-<p class="ph2 nobreak"><span class="smcap">Transcriber’s Notes:</span></p></div>
-
-<p>On page 123, side-ways has been changed to sideways.</p>
-
-<p>On page 130, banknotes has been changed to bank-notes.</p>
-
-<p>On page 310, waterfront has been changed to water-front.</p>
-
-<p>On page 336, eyelids has been changed to eye-lids.</p>
-
-<p>The name "Fomalhaut" was spelled multiple ways in this book; all have
-been regularized to "Fomalhaut" (a star in the Southern Hemisphere.)</p>
-
-<p>All other spelling, hyphenation and dialect has been
-retained as typeset.</p></div>
-
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