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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/75511-0.txt b/75511-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..94fca8c --- /dev/null +++ b/75511-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,907 @@ + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75511 *** + + + + + + A Lyttel Booke of Nonsense + + + + + A Lyttel Booke + of Nonsense + + [Illustration] + + R. D. + + London: Macmillan & Co. Ld. + mdccccxii + + + + + Copyright + + First published + 1912 + + + + +To the Reader + + +Few of the cuts in this book are less than four hundred years old. To +join them to new occasions need be no slur on their value and beauty, +if the rhyme be taken as lightly as it is offered by a lover of old +things as well as new, who is indebted to Messrs. Quaritch, Leighton, +Barnard, and others, for much more than is here to be seen, as also to +Edward Lear. + + R. D. + + Chelsea, mcmxii. + + + + +A Lyttel Booke of Nonsense + + + + + There was a young fellow of Sark, + Who wandered about in the Park; + When the constable said + He’d be better in bed, + He replied, “I’m afraid of the dark.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of Sheerness, + Who invited a friend to play chess; + But he’d lent all the pieces + To one of his nieces, + And stupidly lost her address. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Trent, + Who sold little boxes of scent; + But they said to him “Smell them + Yourself ere you sell them!” + Which made him feel far from content. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow called Cox, + Who tried to jump over the rocks; + But they said “Poor old feller, + He has come a smeller, + And look at the holes in his socks!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Treves, + Who met with a watery grave; + There was nobody nigh + To attend to his cry + As he sank ’neath the swallowing wave. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Cadiz, + Who said “What a blessing Free Trade is; + But it’s not my ambition + To turn politician-- + So let’s go and talk to these ladies.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Athlone, + Who was trying to ride like Tod Sloan; + But a brute of a bee + So bewildered his gee + That he hardly escaped being thrown. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Brill, + Who supported the Parliament Bill; + But he’d larger ideas + For reforming the Peers, + And suggested a better way still. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Derry, + Who loved to see every one merry; + So he asked them to tea + At a mulberry tree, + And gave them some excellent sherry. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Kansas, + Who couldn’t remember the Lancers; + When they’d got half way through + He’d forget what to do, + Which flummoxed the rest of the dancers. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Sherborne, + Who would go to church in a turban; + When they put him outside + He politely replied + That he thought their ideas were suburban. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Reading, + Who went to his granddaughter’s wedding; + When they asked for a present + He tried to look pleasant, + But said “This is what I was dreading.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young housemaid at Ashdown, + Who strained herself pulling the sash down; + Being duly insured, + She was months being cured, + But the doctor insisted on cash down. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old girl of Carstairs, + Whose villa required some repairs; + When she asked if the plumber + Could finish next summer, + He said he should be there for years. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Bude, + Who frequently painted the nude; + So that some of her pictures + Invited the strictures + Of many an ignorant prude. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of Baroda, + Who said, “I perceive a bad odour”; + When they said, “Is it faint?” + He replied, “No, it ain’t,” + So they fetched him a whiskey and soda. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Biscay, + Who gave all his horses some whiskey; + Which resulted in some + Being quite overcome, + And others decidedly frisky. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Shere, + Who wanted to act Chanticler; + To say that his dress + Was a brilliant success + Would be saying as much as we dare. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of Shoreditch, + Whose motto was “Down with the rich,” + But the mounted police + In the interests of peace, + Succeeded in queering his pitch. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Dunblane, + Who was seized with a horrible pain; + When his wife asked him “Where?” + He replied “Somewhere here; + I must never touch muffins again.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of New Cross, + Who rode a most marvellous horse; + As it couldn’t be matched, + All the others were scratched, + And he simply walked over the course. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Belvoir, + Who in Love was a stern disbeliever; + But on going to the Castle + To take them a parcel, + He caught the insidious fever. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady called Pippa, + Who wanted to play hunt the Slipper; + But she said she’d prefer + Their removing the spur, + For fear that the rowel might nip her. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Lepanto, + Who started to teach Esperanto; + But they said, “It’s too much, + We would sooner learn Dutch,” + And told him to pack his portmanteau. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady called Mabel, + Who hated a room with a gable; + If there wasn’t another + She said, “Oh don’t bother, + I’ll sleep on the dining-room table.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old lady named Bonamy, + Who lectured them all on astronomy; + But they said, “It’s a bore, + We have heard this before, + You should stick to domestic economy.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Strathpeffer, + Whose uncle grew deafer and deafer; + When he asked after Mary, + He thought he said “dairy,” + And said, “She’s a beautiful heifer.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Rome, + Who got lost in the great Catacomb; + At the end of the week + She was found by a Greek, + Who insisted on seeing her home. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of the Wye, + Who said, “I could sit down and cry; + When the fish are all biting, + This d----d little whiting + Has swallowed my favourite fly.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man who said, “How + Shall I flee from this horrible cow? + I will stand on a stool, + And pretend I’m at school, + With mamma’s cockatoo on my brow.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of Montrose, + Who discouraged his granddaughter’s beaux; + When she asked them to call + He said nothing at all, + Or caught them a whack on the nose. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Tweeddale, + Who played on the flute and the fiddle; + But he made such a din + That the neighbours came in, + And made him leave off in the middle. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Spithead, + Who never could get enough bread; + Till he married a wife, + Who restored him to life, + For she made it herself--so she said. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Garth, + Who was just getting into the bath, + When her mother said, “Nelly, + You must eat this jelly, + You’re getting as thin as a lath.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young damsel of Ore, + Who tickled a fool with a straw; + Quoth the fool, “How it tickles, + I can’t eat my victuals, + Oh, don’t make me laugh any more!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Raby, + Who behaved like a regular gaby; + When he went to the castle, + To call for a parcel, + He wanted to dandle the baby. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Belgrade, + Who used to catch fish with a spade; + When he’d caught three or four, + He would fling them ashore, + Where he fried them in warm lemonade. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Hawarden, + Who entreated his visitors’ pardon; + The boiler had cracked, + As a matter of fact, + So he brought them some lunch in the garden. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Lee, + Who hid himself under a tree; + But when winter came round + He was easily found, + For the leaves had come off--don’t you see? + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old lady of Lee, + Who thought that her Chow had a flea; + She was so much afraid, + That she rang for her maid, + But the butler said, “Leave it to me.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young sportsman, whose trouble + Was constantly seeing things double; + His dog and his ape + Took a duplicate shape, + And he noticed the same with the stubble. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man (of great age), + Whose daughters were both on the stage; + To the one who was Scotch + He presented his watch-- + To the other a beautiful cage. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old knight of New Cross, + Who was riding a troublesome horse; + But he said, “If he rears, + I shall just box his ears, + Though I’d rather use kindness than force.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Southall, + Who went to a fancy dress ball; + Information we lack + As to how he got back-- + Or whether he got back at all. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Leek, + Who believed in compulsory Greek; + As from being at college + He’d no other knowledge, + The reason was not far to seek. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Belgrade, + And this was a drawing he made; + People called it absurd, + Though the critics averred + That he must have been taught at the Slade. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Sfax, + Who purchased some promising hacks; + But when riding astraddle + Without any saddle, + She frequently fell off their backs. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old lady of Nice, + Whose house was a haven of peace; + Till they all got so warm + Over Tariff Reform, + That they had to call in the police. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Sheen, + Who was trying to reach Gretna Green; + But he saw with impatience + That all his relations + Were trying to be first on the scene. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of the coast, + Whose wife was as deaf as a post; + Unaware of his tread + As he staggered to bed, + Or the groans of the family ghost. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Pisa, + Whose wife was descended from Caesar; + The shape of his feet + Made her joy incomplete-- + But she valued his efforts to please her. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Sheen, + Who was hired to read to the Queen; + But she told him to stop + When he got to the top + Of page ninety in chapter sixteen. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Shere, + Who was loved by an indigent Peer, + But she sacrificed rank + To a share in a Bank-- + About 35,000 a year. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of St. Abbs, + Who wanted to buy a few crabs; + His annoyance was great + When they offered him skate, + And turbot, and haddocks and dabs. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Seattle, + Whose brothers were killed in a battle; + He feelingly said, + “It’s a pity they’re dead-- + But I shall inherit their cattle.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Quorn, + Who borrowed some dogs and a horn; + Though he hadn’t a nag + He got hold of a stag, + And chased it all over the lawn. + +[Illustration] + + + + + The Lord Chamberlain, once, on a day, + Was requested to license a play; + But he said, “If it’s clever, + My answer is Never!” + And told them to take it away. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Parma, + Who purchased a new suit of armour; + When they said, “Does it fit?” + He replied, “Not a bit-- + Pray leave me until I am calmer!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady whose bonnet + Had many remarks passed upon it; + But she answered them, “Rats!-- + If you want to see hats + Look at these of my brothers’--they’re chronic!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + See here how the damsels of Spiers, + Await the return of their Squires; + At the long-looked-for hour + They wave from the tower, + And light all the drawing-room fires. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man with a yacht, + Who said, “Whether you love me or not, + You can hardly refuse + Just to come for a cruise”; + But she fainted away on the spot. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of the rocks, + Who never could find any socks; + So he put on his shoes + And his second-best blouse, + And danced a quadrille with a fox. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young lady of Annan, + Whose father-in-law was a Canon; + But she gave up the Church + For artistic research, + And consorted with Ricketts and Shannon. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Newport, + Who was tried for a jester at Court; + But he frankly confessed, + After doing his best, + It was more of a job than he thought. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of St. Gatien, + Who strongly believed in cremation; + And few could find fault + With a family vault + That contained every single relation. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Horta, + Who saw something strange in the water. + Preparing to dive, + He cried, “Bake me alive, + If it isn’t the Coastguardsman’s daughter!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man of Peru, + Who took both his boys to the Zoo; + But when some silly goose + Let the animals loose, + He didn’t quite know what to do. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old man with a flute, + A serpent ran into whose boot; + He played day and night, + But it didn’t take flight, + So he finally went for the brute. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Hawarden, + Who was practising golf in the garden; + But he said, “If this fly, + Doesn’t instantly die, + I’m sure I shall never beat Vardon.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young student of John’s, + Who always made friends with the dons; + He would ask them to dine, + Or to biscuits and wine, + With a dish of most excellent scones. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Sparta, + Whose wife was a regular tartar; + When his apathy shocked her + She went for the doctor, + And said, “He pretends he’s a martyr.” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man of Algiers, + Whose dog had been savage for years; + So he bought him a roll + (Which the brute swallowed whole), + And then gave him a box on the ears. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was an old fellow of Tooting, + Whose favourite amusement was shooting; + When he wounded a bear, + And took aim at a hare, + They thought it was time to be scooting. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Clewer, + Who was trying the open-air cure; + When they said, “Are you snug?” + He said, “Bring me a rug-- + It’s really too much to endure!” + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young man who’d a pup, + Which he trained for the Waterloo Cup; + But though healthy and sound, + It would lie on the ground, + And firmly refuse to get up. + +[Illustration] + + + + + There was a young fellow of Pannal, + Who rowed himself over the channel; + When they said, “You’ve no hat,” + He replied, “What of that?” + And wrapped up his head in a flannel. + +[Illustration] + + + + + Glasgow + + Printed at the University Press by + Robert MacLehose & Co. Ltd. + + + + + Transcriber's Notes: + + On page 72, ‘'Who behaved like a regular baby’ has been changed to + ‘Who behaved like a regular gaby’, to conform with limarick practice. + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75511 *** diff --git a/75511-h/75511-h.htm b/75511-h/75511-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac2b26d --- /dev/null +++ b/75511-h/75511-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2122 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html> +<html lang="en"> +<head> + <meta charset="UTF-8"> + <title> + A Lyttel Booke of Nonsense | Project Gutenberg + </title> + <link rel="icon" href="images/cover.jpg" type="image/x-cover"> + <style> + +body { + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +h1 {font-weight: normal; + font-size: 160%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 4em; + word-spacing: 0.3em; + font-family: "Old English Text MT", sans-serif; + } + +p { + margin-top: .51em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .49em; + font-family: "Old English Text MT", sans-serif; 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+ font-family:sans-serif, serif; + border: .3em double gray; + padding: 1em; +} +.poetry .indent0 {text-indent: -3em;} +.poetry .indent4 {text-indent: -1em;} +.poetry .indent5 {text-indent: -0.5em;} + + </style> +</head> +<body> +<div style='text-align:center'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75511 ***</div> + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" alt="cover"> +</div> + +<h1>A Lyttel Booke of Nonsense</h1> + +<div class="bbox"> + +<p class="c sp big"> +A Lyttel Booke<br> +of Nonsense +</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/fig1.jpg" alt="front"> +</div> + + +<p class="c sp up"> +London: Macmillan & Co. Ld.<br> +mdccccxii +</p></div> + + +<p class="c less p4"> +Copyright</p> + +<p class="c less sp"> +First published<br> +1912 +</p> + + +<p class="c sp xxlarge">To the Reader</p> + + +<p>Few of the cuts in this book are less than +four hundred years old. To join them to +new occasions need be no slur on their value +and beauty, if the rhyme be taken as lightly +as it is offered by a lover of old things as +well as new, who is indebted to Messrs. +Quaritch, Leighton, Barnard, and others, for +much more than is here to be seen, as also +to Edward Lear.</p> + +<p class="r"> +R. D.</p> + +<p class="l large"> +Chelsea, mcmxii. +</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</span></p> + + +<p class="c sp p4">A Lyttel Booke of Nonsense</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Sark,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who wandered about in the Park;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When the constable said</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He’d be better in bed,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He replied, “I’m afraid of the dark.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig2.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of Sheerness,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who invited a friend to play chess;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he’d lent all the pieces</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To one of his nieces,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And stupidly lost her address.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig3.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Trent,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who sold little boxes of scent;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But they said to him “Smell them</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Yourself ere you sell them!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which made him feel far from content.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig4.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow called Cox,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who tried to jump over the rocks;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But they said “Poor old feller,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He has come a smeller,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And look at the holes in his socks!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig5.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Treves,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who met with a watery grave;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">There was nobody nigh</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To attend to his cry</div> + <div class="verse indent0">As he sank ’neath the swallowing wave.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig6.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</span></p> + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Cadiz,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who said “What a blessing Free Trade is;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But it’s not my ambition</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To turn politician—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So let’s go and talk to these ladies.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig7.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Athlone,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was trying to ride like Tod Sloan;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But a brute of a bee</div> + <div class="verse indent4">So bewildered his gee</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That he hardly escaped being thrown.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig8.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Brill,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who supported the Parliament Bill;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he’d larger ideas</div> + <div class="verse indent4">For reforming the Peers,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And suggested a better way still.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig9.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Derry,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who loved to see every one merry;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">So he asked them to tea</div> + <div class="verse indent4">At a mulberry tree,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And gave them some excellent sherry.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig10.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Kansas,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who couldn’t remember the Lancers;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they’d got half way through</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He’d forget what to do,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which flummoxed the rest of the dancers.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig11.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Sherborne,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who would go to church in a turban;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they put him outside</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He politely replied</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That he thought their ideas were suburban.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig12.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Reading,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who went to his granddaughter’s wedding;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they asked for a present</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He tried to look pleasant,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But said “This is what I was dreading.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig13.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young housemaid at Ashdown,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who strained herself pulling the sash down;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Being duly insured,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">She was months being cured,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the doctor insisted on cash down.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig14.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old girl of Carstairs,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose villa required some repairs;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When she asked if the plumber</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Could finish next summer,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He said he should be there for years.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig15.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Bude,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who frequently painted the nude;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">So that some of her pictures</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Invited the strictures</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of many an ignorant prude.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig16.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of Baroda,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who said, “I perceive a bad odour”;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they said, “Is it faint?”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He replied, “No, it ain’t,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So they fetched him a whiskey and soda.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig17.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Biscay,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who gave all his horses some whiskey;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Which resulted in some</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Being quite overcome,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And others decidedly frisky.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig18.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Shere,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who wanted to act Chanticler;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To say that his dress</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Was a brilliant success</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Would be saying as much as we dare.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig19.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of Shoreditch,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose motto was “Down with the rich,”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But the mounted police</div> + <div class="verse indent4">In the interests of peace,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Succeeded in queering his pitch.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</span></p> + + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig20.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Dunblane,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was seized with a horrible pain;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When his wife asked him “Where?”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He replied “Somewhere here;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I must never touch muffins again.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig21.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of New Cross,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who rode a most marvellous horse;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">As it couldn’t be matched,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">All the others were scratched,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And he simply walked over the course.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig22.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Belvoir,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who in Love was a stern disbeliever;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But on going to the Castle</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To take them a parcel,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He caught the insidious fever.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig23.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady called Pippa,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who wanted to play hunt the Slipper;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But she said she’d prefer</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Their removing the spur,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For fear that the rowel might nip her.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig24.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Lepanto,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who started to teach Esperanto;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But they said, “It’s too much,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">We would sooner learn Dutch,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And told him to pack his portmanteau.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig25.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady called Mabel,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who hated a room with a gable;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">If there wasn’t another</div> + <div class="verse indent4">She said, “Oh don’t bother,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’ll sleep on the dining-room table.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig26.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old lady named Bonamy,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who lectured them all on astronomy;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But they said, “It’s a bore,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">We have heard this before,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You should stick to domestic economy.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig27.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Strathpeffer,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose uncle grew deafer and deafer;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When he asked after Mary,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He thought he said “dairy,”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And said, “She’s a beautiful heifer.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig28.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Rome,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who got lost in the great Catacomb;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">At the end of the week</div> + <div class="verse indent4">She was found by a Greek,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who insisted on seeing her home.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig29.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of the Wye,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who said, “I could sit down and cry;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When the fish are all biting,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">This d——d little whiting</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Has swallowed my favourite fly.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig30.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man who said, “How</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Shall I flee from this horrible cow?</div> + <div class="verse indent4">I will stand on a stool,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And pretend I’m at school,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With mamma’s cockatoo on my brow.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig31.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of Montrose,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who discouraged his granddaughter’s beaux;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When she asked them to call</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He said nothing at all,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or caught them a whack on the nose.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig32.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Tweeddale,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who played on the flute and the fiddle;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he made such a din</div> + <div class="verse indent4">That the neighbours came in,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And made him leave off in the middle.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig33.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Spithead,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who never could get enough bread;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Till he married a wife,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Who restored him to life,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For she made it herself—so she said.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig34.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Garth,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was just getting into the bath,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When her mother said, “Nelly,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">You must eat this jelly,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">You’re getting as thin as a lath.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig35.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young damsel of Ore,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who tickled a fool with a straw;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Quoth the fool, “How it tickles,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">I can’t eat my victuals,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Oh, don’t make me laugh any more!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig36.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Raby,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who behaved like a regular gaby;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When he went to the castle,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To call for a parcel,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He wanted to dandle the baby.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig37.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Belgrade,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who used to catch fish with a spade;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When he’d caught three or four,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He would fling them ashore,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Where he fried them in warm lemonade.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig38.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Hawarden,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who entreated his visitors’ pardon;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">The boiler had cracked,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">As a matter of fact,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So he brought them some lunch in the garden.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig39.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Lee,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who hid himself under a tree;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But when winter came round</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He was easily found,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">For the leaves had come off—don’t you see?</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig40.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old lady of Lee,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who thought that her Chow had a flea;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">She was so much afraid,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">That she rang for her maid,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But the butler said, “Leave it to me.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig41.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young sportsman, whose trouble</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was constantly seeing things double;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">His dog and his ape</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Took a duplicate shape,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And he noticed the same with the stubble.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig42.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man (of great age),</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose daughters were both on the stage;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To the one who was Scotch</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He presented his watch—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">To the other a beautiful cage.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig43.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old knight of New Cross,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was riding a troublesome horse;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he said, “If he rears,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">I shall just box his ears,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Though I’d rather use kindness than force.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig44.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Southall,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who went to a fancy dress ball;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Information we lack</div> + <div class="verse indent4">As to how he got back—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or whether he got back at all.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig45.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Leek,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who believed in compulsory Greek;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">As from being at college</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He’d no other knowledge,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">The reason was not far to seek.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig46.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Belgrade,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And this was a drawing he made;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">People called it absurd,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Though the critics averred</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That he must have been taught at the Slade.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig47.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Sfax,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who purchased some promising hacks;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But when riding astraddle</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Without any saddle,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">She frequently fell off their backs.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig48.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old lady of Nice,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose house was a haven of peace;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Till they all got so warm</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Over Tariff Reform,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That they had to call in the police.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig49.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Sheen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was trying to reach Gretna Green;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he saw with impatience</div> + <div class="verse indent4">That all his relations</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Were trying to be first on the scene.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig50.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of the coast,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose wife was as deaf as a post;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Unaware of his tread</div> + <div class="verse indent4">As he staggered to bed,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Or the groans of the family ghost.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig51.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Pisa,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose wife was descended from Caesar;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">The shape of his feet</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Made her joy incomplete—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But she valued his efforts to please her.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig52.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Sheen,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was hired to read to the Queen;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But she told him to stop</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When he got to the top</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Of page ninety in chapter sixteen.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig53.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Shere,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was loved by an indigent Peer,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But she sacrificed rank</div> + <div class="verse indent4">To a share in a Bank—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">About 35,000 a year.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig54.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of St. Abbs,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who wanted to buy a few crabs;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">His annoyance was great</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they offered him skate,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And turbot, and haddocks and dabs.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig55.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Seattle,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose brothers were killed in a battle;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He feelingly said,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">“It’s a pity they’re dead—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But I shall inherit their cattle.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig56.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Quorn,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who borrowed some dogs and a horn;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Though he hadn’t a nag</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He got hold of a stag,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And chased it all over the lawn.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig57.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">The Lord Chamberlain, once, on a day,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Was requested to license a play;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he said, “If it’s clever,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">My answer is Never!”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And told them to take it away.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig58.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Parma,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who purchased a new suit of armour;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they said, “Does it fit?”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He replied, “Not a bit—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Pray leave me until I am calmer!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig59.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady whose bonnet</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Had many remarks passed upon it;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But she answered them, “Rats!—</div> + <div class="verse indent4">If you want to see hats</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Look at these of my brothers’—they’re chronic!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig60.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">See here how the damsels of Spiers,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Await the return of their Squires;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">At the long-looked-for hour</div> + <div class="verse indent4">They wave from the tower,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And light all the drawing-room fires.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig61.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man with a yacht,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who said, “Whether you love me or not,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">You can hardly refuse</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Just to come for a cruise”;</div> + <div class="verse indent0">But she fainted away on the spot.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig62.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of the rocks,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who never could find any socks;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">So he put on his shoes</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And his second-best blouse,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And danced a quadrille with a fox.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig63.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young lady of Annan,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose father-in-law was a Canon;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But she gave up the Church</div> + <div class="verse indent4">For artistic research,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And consorted with Ricketts and Shannon.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig64.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Newport,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was tried for a jester at Court;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he frankly confessed,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">After doing his best,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It was more of a job than he thought.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig65.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of St. Gatien,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who strongly believed in cremation;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And few could find fault</div> + <div class="verse indent4">With a family vault</div> + <div class="verse indent0">That contained every single relation.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig66.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Horta,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who saw something strange in the water.</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Preparing to dive,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He cried, “Bake me alive,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">If it isn’t the Coastguardsman’s daughter!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig67.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</span></p> + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man of Peru,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who took both his boys to the Zoo;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But when some silly goose</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Let the animals loose,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">He didn’t quite know what to do.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig68.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old man with a flute,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">A serpent ran into whose boot;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He played day and night,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But it didn’t take flight,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">So he finally went for the brute.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig69.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Hawarden,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was practising golf in the garden;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But he said, “If this fly,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Doesn’t instantly die,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">I’m sure I shall never beat Vardon.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig70.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young student of John’s,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who always made friends with the dons;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He would ask them to dine,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">Or to biscuits and wine,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">With a dish of most excellent scones.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig71.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Sparta,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose wife was a regular tartar;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When his apathy shocked her</div> + <div class="verse indent4">She went for the doctor,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And said, “He pretends he’s a martyr.”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig72.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man of Algiers,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose dog had been savage for years;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">So he bought him a roll</div> + <div class="verse indent4">(Which the brute swallowed whole),</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And then gave him a box on the ears.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig73.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was an old fellow of Tooting,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Whose favourite amusement was shooting;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When he wounded a bear,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">And took aim at a hare,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">They thought it was time to be scooting.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig74.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Clewer,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who was trying the open-air cure;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they said, “Are you snug?”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He said, “Bring me a rug—</div> + <div class="verse indent0">It’s really too much to endure!”</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig75.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young man who’d a pup,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Which he trained for the Waterloo Cup;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">But though healthy and sound,</div> + <div class="verse indent4">It would lie on the ground,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And firmly refuse to get up.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig76.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</span></p> + + + +<div class="poetry-container"> +<div class="poetry"> + <div class="stanza"> + <div class="verse indent0">There was a young fellow of Pannal,</div> + <div class="verse indent0">Who rowed himself over the channel;</div> + <div class="verse indent4">When they said, “You’ve no hat,”</div> + <div class="verse indent4">He replied, “What of that?”</div> + <div class="verse indent0">And wrapped up his head in a flannel.</div> + </div> +</div> +</div> + + +<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter1"> +<img src="images/fig77.jpg" alt="woodcut"> +</div> + + +<p class="c less"> +Glasgow<br> + +Printed at the University Press by<br> +Robert MacLehose & Co. Ltd. +</p> + +<div class="transnote"> + +<p class="c">Transcriber’s Notes:</p> + +<p> On page 72, ‘Who behaved like a regular baby’ has been changed to ‘Who behaved like a regular gaby’, to conform with limarick practice.</p> + + + + + +</div> + +<div style='text-align:center'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 75511 ***</div> +</body> +</html> + diff --git a/75511-h/images/cover.jpg b/75511-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6f78faf --- /dev/null +++ b/75511-h/images/cover.jpg diff --git a/75511-h/images/fig1.jpg b/75511-h/images/fig1.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9919040 --- /dev/null +++ b/75511-h/images/fig1.jpg diff --git a/75511-h/images/fig10.jpg b/75511-h/images/fig10.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f4b06e4 --- /dev/null +++ b/75511-h/images/fig10.jpg diff --git a/75511-h/images/fig11.jpg b/75511-h/images/fig11.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d457485 --- 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