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diff --git a/10001-h/10001-h.htm b/10001-h/10001-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ebb9f65 --- /dev/null +++ b/10001-h/10001-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,643 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" +"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" /> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> +<title>Apocolocyntosis | Project Gutenberg</title> +<style type="text/css"> + +body {font-family: Times, serif; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + .verse {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .intro {font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%} + .rsidenote {position: absolute; left: 92%; right: 1%; font-size: 0.7em; font-style: italic;} + .lsidenote {position: absolute; left: 6%; right: 8%; font-size: 0.8em;} + .foots {font-size: .8em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%} + +</style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10001 ***</div> + +<h2>SENECA</h2> + +<h1>APOCOLOCYNTOSIS</h1> + + <h3>WITH AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION BY<br /> + + W.H.D. ROUSE, M.A. LITT. D.</h3> + + <h2>MCMXX</h2> + +<hr /> + +<h3>INTRODUCTION</h3> + +<div class="intro"> + +<p> +This piece is ascribed to Seneca by ancient tradition; it is impossible to +prove that it is his, and impossible to prove that it is not. The matter will +probably continue to be decided by every one according to his view of Seneca's +character and abilities: in the matters of style and of sentiment much may be +said on both sides. Dion Cassius (lx, 35) says that Seneca composed an +ἀποκολοκύντωσις or Pumpkinification of Claudius after his death, the title +being a parody of the usual ἀποθέωσις; but this title is not given in the MSS. +of the Ludus de Morte Claudii, nor is there anything in the piece which suits +the title very well. +</p> + +<p> +As a literary form, the piece belongs to the class called +<i>Satura Menippea</i>, a satiric medley in prose and verse. +</p> +<p> +This text is that of Buecheler, with a few trifling changes, which are +indicated in the notes. We have been courteously allowed by Messrs +Weidmann to use this text. I have to acknowledge the help of Mr Ball's +notes, from which I have taken a few references; but my translation was +made many years ago. +</p> +<p> +W.H.D. ROUSE. +</p> +</div> + +<h3>BIBLIOGRAPHY</h3> + +<p> +<i>Editio Princeps:</i> Lucii Annaei Senecae in morte + Claudii Caesaris Ludus nuper repertus: Rome, + 1513. +</p> + +<p> +<i>Latest critical text:</i> Franz Buecheler, Weidmann, 1904 (a reprint with a +few changes of the text from a larger work, Divi Claudii Ἀποκολοκύντωσις in the +Symbola Philologorum Bonnensium, fasc. i, 1864). +</p> + +<p> +<i>Translations and helps:</i> The Satire of Seneca on the + Apotheosis of Claudius, by A.P. Ball (with introduction, + notes, and translations): New York: + Columbia University Press; London, Macmillan, + 1902. +</p> + +<h2>SENECA</h2> +<h2>APOCOLOCYNTOSIS,</h2> +<h3>OR <i>LUDUS DE MORTE CLAUDII</i>:<br /> +THE PUMPKINIFICATION OF +CLAUDIUS.</h3> +<div class="rsidenote"> Virg. Aen. ii, 724</div> +<div class="lsidenote">1</div> +<p> +I wish to place on record the proceedings in heaven October 13 last, of the new year which begins this auspicious age. It +shall be done without malice or favour. This is the truth. Ask if you like +how I know it? To begin with, I am not bound to please you with my answer. +Who will compel me? I know the same day made me free, which was the last +day for him who made the proverb true--One must be born either a Pharaoh +or a fool. If I choose to answer, I will say whatever trips off my tongue. +Who has ever made the historian produce witness to swear for him? But if +an authority must be produced, ask of the man who saw Drusilla translated +to heaven: the same man will aver he saw Claudius on the road, dot and +carry one. Will he nill he, all that happens +in heaven he needs must see. He is the custodian of the Appian Way; by that +route, you know, both Tiberius and Augustus went up to the gods. Question +him, he will tell you the tale when you are alone; before company he is +dumb. You see he swore in the Senate that he beheld Drusilla mounting +heavenwards, and all he got for his good news was that everybody gave him +the lie: since when he solemnly swears he will never bear witness again to +what he has seen, not even if he had seen a man murdered in open market. +What he told me I report plain and clear, as I hope for his health and +happiness. +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">2</div> +<div class="verse"> + Now had the sun with shorter course drawn in his risen light,<br /> + And by equivalent degrees grew the dark hours of night:<br /> + Victorious Cynthia now held sway over a wider space,<br /> + Grim winter drove rich autumn out, and now usurped his place;<br /> + And now the fiat had gone forth that Bacchus must grow old,<br /> + The few last clusters of the vine were gathered ere the cold:<br /> +</div> +<p> +I shall make myself better understood, if I say the month was October, the +day was the thirteenth. What hour it was I cannot certainly tell; +philosophers will agree more often than clocks; but it was between midday +and one after noon. "Clumsy creature!" you say. "The poets are not content +to describe sunrise and sunset, and now they even disturb the midday +siesta. Will you thus neglect so good an hour?" +</p> +<div class="verse"> + Now the sun's chariot had gone by the middle of his way;<br /> + Half wearily he shook the reins, nearer to night than day,<br /> + And led the light along the slope that down before him lay.<br /> +</div> +<div class="lsidenote">3</div> +<p> +Claudius began to breathe his last, and could not +make an end of the matter. Then Mercury, who had always been much pleased +with his wit, drew aside one of the three Fates, and said: "Cruel beldame, +why do you let the poor wretch be tormented? After all this torture cannot +he have a rest? Four and sixty years it is now since he began to pant for +breath. What grudge is this you bear against him and the whole empire? Do +let the astrologers tell the truth for once; since he became emperor, they +have never let a year pass, never a month, without laying him out for his +burial. Yet it is no wonder if they are wrong, and no one knows his hour. +Nobody ever believed he was really quite born[<a href="#f1">1</a>]. + Do what has to be done: +Kill him, and let a better man rule in empty court." +</p> +<div class="rsidenote"> Virg. Georg iv. 90</div> +<p> +Clotho replied: "Upon my word, I did wish to give him another hour or two, +until he should make Roman citizens of the half dozen who are still +outsiders. (He made up his mind, you know, to see the whole world in the +toga, Greeks, Gauls, Spaniards, Britons, and all.) But since it is your +pleasure to leave a few foreigners for seed, and since you command me, so +be it." She opened her box and out came three spindles. One was for +Augurinus, one for Baba, one for Claudius[<a href="#f2">2</a>]. + "These three," she says, "I will cause to +die within one year and at no great distance apart, and I will not dismiss +him unattended. Think of all the thousands of men he was wont to see +following after him, thousands going before, thousands all crowding about +him, and it would never do to leave him alone on a sudden. These boon +companions will satisfy him for the nonce." +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">4</div> +<div class="verse"> + This said, she twists the thread around his ugly spindle once,<br /> + Snaps off the last bit of the life of that Imperial dunce.<br /> + But Lachesis, her hair adorned, her tresses neatly bound,<br /> + Pierian laurel on her locks, her brows with garlands crowned,<br /> + Plucks me from out the snowy wool new threads as white as snow,<br /> + Which handled with a happy touch change colour as they go,<br /> + Not common wool, but golden wire; the Sisters wondering gaze,<br /> + As age by age the pretty thread runs down the golden days.<br /> + World without end they spin away, the happy fleeces pull;<br /> + What joy they take to fill their hands with that delightful wool!<br /> + Indeed, the task performs itself: no toil the spinners know:<br /> + Down drops the soft and silken thread as round the spindles go;<br /> + Fewer than these are Tithon's years, not Nestor's life so long.<br /> + Phoebus is present: glad he is to sing a merry song;<br /> + Now helps the work, now full of hope upon the harp doth play;<br /> + The Sisters listen to the song that charms their toil away.<br /> + They praise their brother's melodies, and still the spindles run,<br /> + Till more than man's allotted span the busy hands have spun.<br /> + Then Phoebus says, "O sister Fates! I pray take none away,<br /> + But suffer this one life to be longer than mortal day.<br /> + Like me in face and lovely grace, like me in voice and song,<br /> + He'll bid the laws at length speak out that have been dumb so long,<br /> + Will give unto the weary world years prosperous and bright.<br /> + Like as the daystar from on high scatters the stars of night,<br /> + As, when the stars return again, clear Hesper brings his light,<br /> + Or as the ruddy dawn drives out the dark, and brings the day,<br /> + As the bright sun looks on the world, and speeds along its way<br /> + His rising car from morning's gates: so Caesar doth arise,<br /> + So Nero shows his face to Rome before the people's eyes,<br /> + His bright and shining countenance illumines all the air,<br /> + While down upon his graceful neck fall rippling waves of hair."<br /> + Thus Apollo. But Lachesis, quite as ready to cast a<br /> + favourable eye on a handsome man, spins away by the<br /> + handful, and bestows years and years upon Nero out<br /> + of her own pocket. As for Claudius, they tell everybody<br /> + to speed him on his way<br /> + With cries of joy and solemn litany.<br /> +</div> +<p> +At once he bubbled up the ghost, and there was an end to that shadow of a +life. He was listening to a troupe of comedians when he died, so you see I +have reason to fear those gentry. The last words he was heard to speak in +this world were these. When he had made a great noise with that end of him +which talked easiest, he cried out, "Oh dear, oh dear! I think I have made +a mess of myself." Whether he did or no, I cannot say, but certain it is +he always did make a mess of everything. +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">5</div> +<p> +What happened next on earth it is mere waste of +time to tell, for you know it all well enough, and there is no fear of your +ever forgetting the impression which that public rejoicing made on your +memory. No one forgets his own happiness. What happened in heaven you shall +hear: for proof please apply to my informant. Word comes to Jupiter that a +stranger had arrived, a man well set up, pretty grey; he seemed to be +threatening something, for he wagged his head ceaselessly; he dragged the +right foot. They asked him what nation he was of; he answered something in +a confused mumbling voice: his language they did not understand. He was no +Greek and no Roman, nor of any known race. On this Jupiter bids Hercules go +and find out what country he comes from; you see Hercules had travelled +over the whole world, and might be expected to know all the nations in it. +But Hercules, the first glimpse he got, was really much taken aback, +although not all the monsters in the world could frighten him; when he saw +this new kind of object, with its extraordinary gait, and the voice of no +terrestrial beast, but such as you might hear in the leviathans of the +deep, hoarse and inarticulate, he thought his thirteenth labour had come +upon him. When he looked closer, the thing seemed to be a kind of man. +Up he goes, then, and says what your Greek finds readiest to his tongue: +</p> +<div class="rsidenote"> Od. i, 17</div> +<div class="verse"> + "Who art thou, and what thy people? Who thy + parents, where thy home?" +</div> +<p> +Claudius was delighted to find literary men up there, and began to hope +there might be some corner for his own historical works. So he caps him +with another Homeric verse, explaining that he was Caesar: +</p> +<div class="rsidenote"> Od. ix, 39</div> +<div class="verse"> + "Breezes wafted me from Ilion unto the Ciconian land." +</div> +<p> +But the next verse was more true, and no less Homeric: +</p> +<div class="verse"> + "Thither come, I sacked a city, slew the people every one." +</div> +<div class="lsidenote">6</div> +<p> +He would have taken in poor simple Hercules, but +that Our Lady of Malaria was there, who left her temple and came alone with +him: all the other gods he had left at Rome. Quoth she, "The fellow's tale +is nothing but lies. I have lived with him all these years, and I tell you, +he was born at Lyons. You behold a fellow-burgess of Marcus[<a href="#f3">3</a>]. + As I say, he was born at the sixteenth milestone from +Vienne, a native Gaul. So of course he took Rome, as a good Gaul ought to +do. I pledge you my word that in Lyons he was born, where Licinus + +[<a href="#f4">4</a>] + was king so many years. But you that have trudged over more +roads than any muleteer that plies for hire, you must have come across the +people of Lyons, and you must know that it is a far cry from Xanthus to the +Rhone." At this point Claudius flared up, and expressed his wrath with as +big a growl as he could manage. What he said nobody understood; as a matter +of fact, he was ordering my lady of Fever to be taken away, and making that +sign with his trembling hand (which was always steady enough for that, if +for nothing else) by which he used to decapitate men. He had ordered her +head to be chopped off. For all the notice the others took of him, they +might have been his own freedmen. +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">7</div> +<p> +Then Hercules said, "You just listen to me, and +stop playing the fool. You have come to the place where the mice nibble +iron[<a href="#f5">5</a>]. + Out with the truth, and look sharp, or +I'll knock your quips and quiddities out of you." Then to make himself all +the more awful, he strikes an attitude and proceeds in his most tragic +vein: +</p> +<div class="verse"> + "Declare with speed what spot you claim by birth.<br /> + Or with this club fall stricken to the earth!<br /> + This club hath ofttimes slaughtered haughty kings!<br /> + Why mumble unintelligible things?<br /> + What land, what tribe produced that shaking head?<br /> + Declare it! On my journey when I sped<br /> + Far to the Kingdom of the triple King,<br /> + And from the Main Hesperian did bring<br /> + The goodly cattle to the Argive town,<br /> + There I beheld a mountain looking down<br /> + Upon two rivers: this the Sun espies<br /> + Right opposite each day he doth arise.<br /> + Hence, mighty Rhone, thy rapid torrents flow,<br /> + And Arar, much in doubt which way to go,<br /> + Ripples along the banks with shallow roll.<br /> + Say, is this land the nurse that bred thy soul?"<br /> +</div> +<p> +These lines he delivered with much spirit and a bold front. All the same, +he was not quite master of his wits, and had some fear of a blow from +the fool. Claudius, seeing a mighty man before him, saw things looked +serious and understood that here he had not quite the same pre-eminence +as at Rome, where no one was his equal: the Gallic cock was worth most on +his own dunghill. So this is what he was thought to say, as far as could +be made out: "I did hope, Hercules, bravest of all the gods, that you +would take my part with the rest, and if I should need a voucher, I meant +to name you who know me so well. Do but call it to mind, how it was I used +to sit in judgment before your temple whole days together during July and +August. You know what miseries I endured there, in hearing the lawyers +plead day and night. If you had fallen amongst these, you may think +yourself very strong, but you would have found it worse than the sewers of +Augeas: I drained out more filth than you did. But since I want..." +</p> +<p> +(Some pages have fallen out, in which Hercules must have been persuaded. +The gods are now discussing what Hercules tells them). +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">8</div> +<p> +"No wonder you have forced your way into the +Senate House: no bars or bolts can hold against you. Only do say what +species of god you want the fellow to be made. An Epicurean god he cannot +be: for they have no troubles and cause none. A Stoic, then? How can he be +globular, as Varro says, without a head or any other projection? There is +in him something of the Stoic god, as I can see now: he has neither heart +nor head. Upon my word, if he had asked this boon from Saturn, he would not +have got it, though he kept up Saturn's feast all the year round, a truly +Saturnalian prince. A likely thing he will get it from Jove, whom he +condemned for incest as far as in him lay: for he killed his son-in-law +Silanus, because Silanus had a sister, a most charming girl, called Venus +by all the world, and he preferred to call her Juno. Why, says he, I want +to know why, his own sister? Read your books, stupid: you may go half-way +at Athens, the whole way at Alexandria. Because the mice lick meal at Rome, +you say. Is this creature to mend our crooked ways? What goes on in his own +closet he knows not; +[<a href="#f6">6</a>] + and now he searches the regions of the sky, wants to +be a god. Is it not enough that he has a temple in Britain, that savages +worship him and pray to him as a god, so that they may find a fool[<a href="#f7">7</a>] +to have mercy upon them?" +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">9</div> +<p> +At last it came into Jove's head, that while strangers +were in the House it was not lawful to speak or debate. "My lords and +gentlemen," said he, "I gave you leave to ask questions, and you have made +a regular farmyard +[<a href="#f8">8</a>] + of the place. Be +so good as to keep the rules of the House. What will this person think of +us, whoever he is?" So Claudius was led out, and the first to be asked his +opinion was Father Janus: he had been made consul elect for the afternoon +of the next first of July, +[<a href="#f9">9</a>] + being as shrewd a man as you could find on a summer's day: for +he could see, as they say, before and behind[<a href="#f10">10</a>]. + He made an eloquent harangue, +because his life was passed in the forum, but too fast for the notary to +take down. That is why I give no full report of it, for I don't want to +change the words he used. He said a great deal of the majesty of the gods, +and how the honour ought not to be given away to every Tom, Dick, or Harry. +"Once," said he, "it was a great thing to become a god; now you have made +it a farce. Therefore, that you may not think I am speaking against one +person instead of the general custom, I propose that from this day forward +the godhead be given to none of those who eat the fruits of the earth, or +whom mother earth doth nourish. After this bill has been read a third time, +whosoever is made, said, or portrayed to be god, I vote he be delivered +over to the bogies, and at the next public show be flogged with a birch +amongst the new gladiators." The next to be asked was Diespiter, son of +Vica Pota, he also being consul elect, and a moneylender; by this trade he +made a living, used to sell rights of citizenship in a small way. Hercules +trips me up to him daintily, and tweaks him by the ear. So he uttered his +opinion in these words: "Inasmuch as the blessed Claudius is akin to the +blessed Augustus, and also to the blessed Augusta, his grandmother, whom he +ordered to be made a goddess, and whereas he far surpasses all mortal men +in wisdom, and seeing that it is for the public good that there be some one +able to join Romulus in devouring boiled turnips, I propose that from this +day forth blessed Claudius be a god, to enjoy that honour with all its +appurtenances in as full a degree as any other before him, and that a note +to that effect be added to Ovid's Metamorphoses." The meeting was divided, +and it looked as though Claudius was to win the day. For Hercules saw his +iron was in the fire, trotted here and trotted there, saying, "Don't deny +me; I make a point of the matter. I'll do as much for you again, when you +like; you roll my log, and I'll roll yours: one hand washes another." +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">10</div> +<p> +Then arose the blessed Augustus, when his turn +came, and spoke with much eloquence[<a href="#f11">11</a>]. + "I call you to witness, my lords +and gentlemen," said he, "that since the day I was made a god I have never +uttered one word. I always mind my own business. But now I can keep on the +mask no longer, nor conceal the sorrow which shame makes all the greater. +Is it for this I have made peace by land and sea? For this have I calmed +intestine wars? For this, laid a firm foundation of law for Rome, adorned +it with buildings, and all that--my lords, words fail me; there are none +can rise to the height of my indignation. I must borrow that saying of the +eloquent Messala Corvinus, I am ashamed of my authority[<a href="#f12">12</a>]. + This man, my lords, who looks as though he could not hurt a fly, +used to chop off heads as easily as a dog sits down. But why should I speak +of all those men, and such men? There is no time to lament for public +disasters, when one has so many private sorrows to think of. I leave that, +therefore, and say only this; for even if my sister knows no Greek, I do: +The knee is nearer than the shin[<a href="#f13">13</a>]. + +This man you see, who for so many years has been masquerading under my +name, has done me the favour of murdering two Julias, great-granddaughters +of mine, one by cold steel and one by starvation; and one great grandson, +L. Silanus--see, Jupiter, whether he had a case against him (at least it is +your own if you will be fair.) Come tell me, blessed Claudius, why of all +those you killed, both men and women, without a hearing, why you did not +hear their side of the case first, before putting them to death? Where do +we find that custom? It is not done in heaven. +Look at Jupiter: all these years he has been +king, and never did more than once to break Vulcan's leg, +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">11</div> + +<div class="rsidenote"> Illiad i, 591</div> +<div class="verse"> + 'Whom seizing by the foot he cast from the threshold of the sky,' +</div> +<p> +and once he fell in a rage with his wife and strung her up: did he do any +killing? You killed Messalina, whose great-uncle I was no less than yours. +'I don't know,' did you say? Curse you! that is just it: not to know was +worse than to kill. Caligula he went on persecuting even when he was dead. +Caligula murdered his father-in-law, Claudius his son-in-law to boot. +Caligula would not have Crassus' son called Great; Claudius gave him his +name back, and took away his head. In one family he destroyed Crassus, +Magnus, Scribonia, the Tristionias, Assario, noble though they were; +Crassus indeed such a fool that he might have been emperor. Is this he you +want now to make a god? Look at his body, born under the wrath of heaven! +In fine, let him say the three words +[<a href="#f14">14</a>] + quickly, and he may have me for a slave. God! who will worship +this god, who will believe in him? While you make gods of such as he, no +one will believe you to be gods. To be brief, my lords: if I have lived +honourably among you, if I have never given plain speech to any, avenge my +wrongs. This is my motion": then he read out his amendment, which he had +committed to writing: "Inasmuch as the blessed Claudius murdered his +father-in-law Appius Silanus, his two sons-in-law, Pompeius Magnus and L. +Silanus, Crassus Frugi his daughter's father-in-law, as like him as two +eggs in a basket, Scribonia his daughter's mother-in-law, his wife +Messalina, and others too numerous to mention; I propose that strong +measures be taken against him, that he be allowed no delay of process, that +immediate sentence of banishment be passed on him, that he be deported from +heaven within thirty days, and from Olympus within thirty hours." +</p> +<p> +This motion was passed without further debate. Not a moment was lost: +Mercury screwed his neck and haled him to the lower regions, to that bourne +"from which they say no traveller returns." +[<a href="#f15">15</a>] + +As they passed downwards along the Sacred Way, Mercury asked what was that +great concourse of men? could it be Claudius' funeral? It was certainly a +most gorgeous spectacle, got up regardless of expense, clear it was that a +god was being borne to the grave: tootling of flutes, roaring of horns, an +immense brass band of all sorts, such a din that even Claudius could hear +it. Joy and rejoicing on every side, the Roman people walking about like +free men. Agatho and a few pettifoggers were weeping for grief, and for +once in a way they meant it. The Barristers were crawling out of their +dark corners, pale and thin, with hardly a breath in their bodies, as +though just coming to life again. One of them when he saw the pettifoggers +putting their heads together, and lamenting their sad lot, up comes he and +says: "Did not I tell you the Saturnalia could not last for ever?" +</p> +<p> +When Claudius saw his own funeral train, he understood that he was dead. +For they were chanting his dirge in anapaests, with much mopping and +mouthing: +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">12</div> +<div class="verse"> + "Pour forth your laments, your sorrow declare,<br /> + Let the sounds of grief rise high in the air:<br /> + For he that is dead had a wit most keen,<br /> + Was bravest of all that on earth have been.<br /> + Racehorses are nothing to his swift feet:<br /> + Rebellious Parthians he did defeat;<br /> + Swift after the Persians his light shafts go:<br /> + For he well knew how to fit arrow to bow,<br /> + Swiftly the striped barbarians fled:<br /> + With one little wound he shot them dead.<br /> + And the Britons beyond in their unknown seas,<br /> + Blue-shielded Brigantians too, all these<br /> + He chained by the neck as the Romans' slaves.<br /> + He spake, and the Ocean with trembling waves<br /> + Accepted the axe of the Roman law.<br /> + O weep for the man! This world never saw<br /> + One quicker a troublesome suit to decide,<br /> + When only one part of the case had been tried,<br /> + (He could do it indeed and not hear either side).<br /> + Who'll now sit in judgment the whole year round?<br /> + Now he that is judge of the shades underground<br /> + Once ruler of fivescore cities in Crete,<br /> + Must yield to his better and take a back seat.<br /> + Mourn, mourn, pettifoggers, ye venal crew,<br /> + And you, minor poets, woe, woe is to you!<br /> + And you above all, who get rich quick<br /> + By the rattle of dice and the three card trick."<br /> +</div> +<div class="rsidenote"> Odes ii, 13, 35</div> +<div class="lsidenote">13</div> + +<p> +Claudius was charmed to hear his own praises sung, +and would have stayed longer to see the show. But the Talthybius + +[<a href="#f16">16</a>] + of the gods laid a hand on him, and led him across +the Campus Martius, first wrapping his head up close that no one might know +him, until betwixt Tiber and the Subway he went down to the lower regions. + +[<a href="#f17">17</a>] + His freedman Narcissus had gone down before him +by a short cut, ready to welcome his master. Out he comes to meet him, +smooth and shining (he had just left the bath), and says he: "What make the +gods among mortals?" "Look alive," says Mercury, "go and tell them we are +coming." Away he flew, quicker than tongue can tell. It is easy going by +that road, all down hill. So although he had a touch of the gout, in a +trice they were come to Dis's door. There lay Cerberus, or, as Horace puts +it, the hundred-headed monster. Claudius was a +trifle perturbed (it was a little white bitch he used to keep for a pet) +when he spied this black shag-haired hound, not at all the kind of thing +you could wish to meet in the dark. In a loud voice he cried, "Claudius is +coming!" All marched before him singing, "The lost is found, O let us +rejoice together!" +[<a href="#f18">18</a>] + Here were found C. Silius consul elect, Juncus the +ex-praetor, Sextus Traulus, M. Helvius, Trogus, Cotta, Vettius Valens, +Fabius, Roman Knights whom Narcissus had ordered for execution. In the +midst of this chanting company was Mnester the mime, whom Claudius for +honour's sake had made shorter by a head. The news was soon blown about +that Claudius had come: to Messalina they throng: first his freedmen, +Polybius, Myron, Harpocras, Amphaeus, Pheronactus, all sent before him by +Claudius that he might not be unattended anywhere; next two prefects, +Justus Catonius and Rufrius Pollio; then his friends, Saturninus, Lusius +and Pedo Pompeius and Lupus and Celer Asinius, these of consular rank; last +came his brother's daughter, his sister's daughter, sons-in-law, fathers +and mothers-in-law, the whole family in fact. In a body they came to meet +Claudius; and when Claudius saw them, he exclaimed, "Friends everywhere, on +my word! How came you all here?" To this Pedo Pompeius answered, "What, +cruel man? How came we here? Who but you sent us, you, the murderer of all +the friends that ever you had? To court with you! I'll show you where their +lordships sit." +</p> +<div class="rsidenote">Il. ix,385</div> +<div class="lsidenote">14</div> +<p> +Pedo brings him before the judgement seat of +Aeacus, who was holding court under the Lex Cornelia to try cases of murder +and assassination. Pedo requests the judge to take the prisoner's name, and +produces a summons with this charge: Senators killed, 35; Roman Knights, +221; others as the sands of the sea-shore for multitude. Claudius finds no counsel. At length out steps P. Petronius, an old +chum of his, a finished scholar in the Claudian tongue and claims a remand. +Not granted. Pedo Pompeius prosecutes with loud outcry. The counsel for the +defence tries to reply; but Aeacus, who is the soul of justice, will not +have it. Aeacus hears the case against Claudius, refuses to hear the other +side and passes sentence against him, quoting the line: +</p> +<div class="verse"> + "As he did, so be he done by, this is justice undefiled." + +[<a href="#f19">19</a>] + +</div> +<p> +A great silence fell. Not a soul but was stupefied at this new way of +managing matters; they had never known anything like it before. It was no +new thing to Claudius, yet he thought it unfair. There was a long +discussion as to the punishment he ought to endure. Some said that Sisyphus +had done his job of porterage long enough; Tantalus would be dying of +thirst, if he were not relieved; the drag must be put at last on wretched +Ixion's wheel. But it was determined not to let off any of the old stagers, +lest Claudius should dare to hope for any such relief. It was agreed that +some new punishment must be devised: they must devise some new task, +something senseless, to suggest some craving without result. Then Aeacus +decreed he should rattle dice for ever in a box with no bottom. At once the +poor wretch began his fruitless task of hunting for the dice, which for +ever slipped from his fingers. +</p> +<div class="lsidenote">15</div> +<div class="verse"> + "For when he rattled with the box, and thought he now had got 'em.<br /> + The little cubes would vanish thro' the perforated bottom.<br /> + Then he would pick 'em up again, and once more set a-trying:<br /> + The dice but served him the same trick: away they went a-flying.<br /> + So still he tries, and still he fails; still searching long he lingers;<br /> + And every time the tricksy things go slipping thro' his fingers.<br /> + Just so when Sisyphus at last once gets there with his boulder,<br /> + He finds the labour all in vain--it rolls down off his shoulder."<br /> +</div> +<p> +All on a sudden who should turn up but Caligula, and claims the man for a +slave: brings witnesses, who said they had seen him being flogged, caned, +fisticuffed by him. He is handed over to Caligula, and Caligula makes him +a present to Aeacus. Aeacus delivers him to his freedman Menander, to be +his law-clerk. +</p> + +<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2> +<div class="foots"> +<div id="f1"><b>Footnote 1</b>: A proverb for a nobody, as Petron, 58: <i>qui te natum non putat.</i></div><br /> +<div id="f2"><b>Footnote 2</b>: "Augurinus" unknown. Baba: see Sep. Ep. 159, a fool.</div><br /> +<div id="f3"><b>Footnote 3</b>: Reference unknown.</div><br /> +<div id="f4"><b>Footnote 4</b>: A Gallic slave, appointed by Augustus Procurator of Gallia Lugudunensis, when he made himself notorious by his extortions. See Dion Cass. liv, 21.</div><br /> +<div id="f5"><b>Footnote 5</b>: A proverb, found also in Herondas iii, 76: apparently fairy-land, the land of Nowhere.</div><br /> +<div id="f6"><b>Footnote 6</b>: Perhaps alluding to a mock marriage of Silius and Messalina.</div><br /> +<div id="f7"><b>Footnote 7</b>: Again μωροῦ for θεοῦ as in ch. 6.</div><br /> +<div id="f8"><b>Footnote 8</b>: Proverb: meaning unknown.</div><br /> +<div id="f9"><b>Footnote 9</b>: Perhaps an allusion to the shortening of the consul's term, which was done to give more candidates a chance of the honour.</div><br /> +<div id="f10"><b>Footnote 10</b>: Il., iii, 109; alluding here to Janus's double face.</div><br /> +<div id="f11"><b>Footnote 11</b>: The speech seems to contain a parody of Augustus's style and sayings.</div><br /> +<div id="f12"><b>Footnote 12</b>: M. Valerius Messala Corvinus, appointed <i>præfectus urbi</i>, resigned within a week.</div><br /> +<div id="f13"><b>Footnote 13</b>: A proverb, like "Charity begins at home." The reading of the passage is uncertain; "sister" is only a conjecture, and it is hard to see why his sister should be mentioned.</div><br /> +<div id="f14"><b>Footnote 14</b>: Some formula such as <i>ais esse meum</i>.</div><br /> +<div id="f15"><b>Footnote 15</b>: Catullus iii, 12.</div><br /> +<div id="f16"><b>Footnote 16</b>: Talthybius was a herald, and <i>nuntius</i> is obviously a gloss on this. He means Mercury.</div><br /> +<div id="f17"><b>Footnote 17</b>: By the Cloaca?</div><br /> +<div id="f18"><b>Footnote 18</b>: With a slight change, a cry used in the worship of Osiris.</div><br /> +<div id="f19"><b>Footnote 19</b>: A proverbial line.</div> +</div> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10001 ***</div> +</body> +</html> + |