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diff --git a/11181-0.txt b/11181-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..01699aa --- /dev/null +++ b/11181-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,544 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11181 *** + +CAPTAINS ALL + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +CAPTAINS ALL + +[Illustration: "Captains All."] + +Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman, +thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on +grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do. +There's not many shore-going berths that a sailorman is fit for, and +those that they are--such as a night-watchman's, for instance--wants such +a good character that there's few as are to equal it. + +Sometimes they get things to do ashore. I knew one man that took up +butchering, and 'e did very well at it till the police took him up. +Another man I knew gave up the sea to marry a washerwoman, and they +hadn't been married six months afore she died, and back he 'ad to go to +sea agin, pore chap. + +A man who used to grumble awful about the sea was old Sam Small--a man +I've spoke of to you before. To hear 'im go on about the sea, arter he +'ad spent four or five months' money in a fortnight, was 'artbreaking. +He used to ask us wot was going to happen to 'im in his old age, and when +we pointed out that he wouldn't be likely to 'ave any old age if he +wasn't more careful of 'imself he used to fly into a temper and call us +everything 'e could lay his tongue to. + +One time when 'e was ashore with Peter Russet and Ginger Dick he seemed +to 'ave got it on the brain. He started being careful of 'is money +instead o' spending it, and three mornings running he bought a newspaper +and read the advertisements, to see whether there was any comfortable +berth for a strong, good-'arted man wot didn't like work. + +He actually went arter one situation, and, if it hadn't ha' been for +seventy-nine other men, he said he believed he'd ha' had a good chance of +getting it. As it was, all 'e got was a black eye for shoving another +man, and for a day or two he was so down-'arted that 'e was no company at +all for the other two. + +For three or four days 'e went out by 'imself, and then, all of a sudden, +Ginger Dick and Peter began to notice a great change in him. He seemed +to 'ave got quite cheerful and 'appy. He answered 'em back pleasant when +they spoke to 'im, and one night he lay in 'is bed whistling comic songs +until Ginger and Peter Russet 'ad to get out o' bed to him. When he +bought a new necktie and a smart cap and washed 'imself twice in one day +they fust began to ask each other wot was up, and then they asked him. + +"Up?" ses Sam; "nothing." + +"He's in love," ses Peter Russet. + +"You're a liar," ses Sam, without turning round. + +"He'll 'ave it bad at 'is age," ses Ginger. + +Sam didn't say nothing, but he kept fidgeting about as though 'e'd got +something on his mind. Fust he looked out o' the winder, then he 'ummed +a tune, and at last, looking at 'em very fierce, he took a tooth-brush +wrapped in paper out of 'is pocket and began to clean 'is teeth. + +"He is in love," ses Ginger, as soon as he could speak. + +"Or else 'e's gorn mad," ses Peter, watching 'im. "Which is it, Sam?" + +Sam made believe that he couldn't answer 'im because o' the tooth-brush, +and arter he'd finished he 'ad such a raging toothache that 'e sat in a +corner holding 'is face and looking the pictur' o' misery. They couldn't +get a word out of him till they asked 'im to go out with them, and then +he said 'e was going to bed. Twenty minutes arterwards, when Ginger Dick +stepped back for 'is pipe, he found he 'ad gorn. + +He tried the same game next night, but the other two wouldn't 'ave it, +and they stayed in so long that at last 'e lost 'is temper, and, arter +wondering wot Ginger's father and mother could ha' been a-thinking about, +and saying that he believed Peter Russet 'ad been changed at birth for a +sea-sick monkey, he put on 'is cap and went out. Both of 'em follered +'im sharp, but when he led 'em to a mission-hall, and actually went +inside, they left 'im and went off on their own. + +They talked it over that night between themselves, and next evening they +went out fust and hid themselves round the corner. Ten minutes +arterwards old Sam came out, walking as though 'e was going to catch a +train; and smiling to think 'ow he 'ad shaken them off. At the corner of +Commercial Road he stopped and bought 'imself a button-hole for 'is coat, +and Ginger was so surprised that 'e pinched Peter Russet to make sure +that he wasn't dreaming. + +Old Sam walked straight on whistling, and every now and then looking down +at 'is button-hole, until by-and-by he turned down a street on the right +and went into a little shop. Ginger Dick and Peter waited for 'im at the +corner, but he was inside for so long that at last they got tired o' +waiting and crept up and peeped through the winder. + +It was a little tobacconist's shop, with newspapers and penny toys and +such-like; but, as far as Ginger could see through two rows o' pipes and +the Police News, it was empty. They stood there with their noses pressed +against the glass for some time, wondering wot had 'appened to Sam, but +by-and-by a little boy went in and then they began to 'ave an idea wot +Sam's little game was. + +As the shop-bell went the door of a little parlour at the back of the +shop opened, and a stout and uncommon good-looking woman of about forty +came out. Her 'ead pushed the _Police News_ out o' the way and her 'and +came groping into the winder arter a toy. + +Ginger 'ad a good look at 'er out o' the corner of one eye, while he +pretended to be looking at a tobacco-jar with the other. As the little +boy came out 'im and Peter Russet went in. + +"I want a pipe, please," he ses, smiling at 'er; "a clay pipe--one o' your +best." The woman handed 'im down a box to choose from, and just then +Peter, wot 'ad been staring in at the arf-open door at a boot wot wanted +lacing up, gave a big start and ses, "Why! Halloa!" + +"Wot's the matter?" ses the woman, looking at 'im. + +"I'd know that foot anywhere," ses Peter, still staring at it; and the +words was hardly out of 'is mouth afore the foot 'ad moved itself away +and tucked itself under its chair. "Why, that's my dear old friend Sam +Small, ain't it?" + +"Do you know the captin?" ses the woman, smiling at 'im. + +"Cap----?" ses Peter. "Cap----? Oh, yes; why, he's the biggest friend +I've got." "'Ow strange!" ses the woman. + +"We've been wanting to see 'im for some time," ses Ginger. "He was kind +enough to lend me arf a crown the other day, and I've been wanting to pay +'im." + +"Captin Small," ses the woman, pushing open the door, "here's some old +friends o' yours." + +Old Sam turned 'is face round and looked at 'em, and if looks could ha' +killed, as the saying is, they'd ha' been dead men there and then. + +"Oh, yes," he ses, in a choking voice; "'ow are you?" + +"Pretty well, thank you, captin," ses Ginger, grinning at 'im; "and 'ow's +yourself arter all this long time?" + +He held out 'is hand and Sam shook it, and then shook 'ands with Peter +Russet, who was grinning so 'ard that he couldn't speak. + +"These are two old friends o' mine, Mrs. Finch," ses old Sam, giving 'em +a warning look; "Captin Dick and Captin Russet, two o' the oldest and +best friends a man ever 'ad." + +"Captin Dick 'as got arf a crown for you," ses Peter Russet, still +grinning. + +"There now," ses Ginger, looking vexed, "if I ain't been and forgot it; +I've on'y got arf a sovereign." + +"I can give you change, sir," ses Mrs. Finch. "P'r'aps you'd like to sit +down for five minutes?" + +Ginger thanked 'er, and 'im and Peter Russet took a chair apiece in front +o' the fire and began asking old Sam about 'is 'ealth, and wot he'd been +doing since they saw 'im last. + +"Fancy your reckernizing his foot," ses Mrs. Finch, coming in with the +change. + +"I'd know it anywhere," ses Peter, who was watching Ginger pretending to +give Sam Small the 'arf-dollar, and Sam pretending in a most lifelike +manner to take it. + +Ginger Dick looked round the room. It was a comfortable little place, +with pictures on the walls and antimacassars on all the chairs, and a row +of pink vases on the mantelpiece. Then 'e looked at Mrs. Finch, and +thought wot a nice-looking woman she was. + +"This is nicer than being aboard ship with a crew o' nasty, troublesome +sailormen to look arter, Captin Small," he ses. + +"It's wonderful the way he manages 'em," ses Peter Russet to Mrs. Finch. +"Like a lion he is." + +"A roaring lion," ses Ginger, looking at Sam. "He don't know wot fear +is." + +Sam began to smile, and Mrs. Finch looked at 'im so pleased that Peter +Russet, who 'ad been looking at 'er and the room, and thinking much the +same way as Ginger, began to think that they was on the wrong tack. + +"Afore 'e got stout and old," he ses, shaking his 'ead, "there wasn't a +smarter skipper afloat." + +"We all 'ave our day," ses Ginger, shaking his 'ead too. + +"I dessay he's good for another year or two afloat, yet," ses Peter +Russet, considering. "With care," ses Ginger. + +Old Sam was going to say something, but 'e stopped himself just in time. +"They will 'ave their joke," he ses, turning to Mrs. Finch and trying to +smile. "I feel as young as ever I did." + +Mrs. Finch said that anybody with arf an eye could see that, and then she +looked at a kettle that was singing on the 'ob. + +"I s'pose you gentlemen wouldn't care for a cup o' cocoa?" she ses, +turning to them. + +Ginger Dick and Peter both said that they liked it better than anything +else, and, arter she 'ad got out the cups and saucers and a tin o' cocoa, +Ginger held the kettle and poured the water in the cups while she stirred +them, and old Sam sat looking on 'elpless. + +"It does seem funny to see you drinking cocoa, captin," ses Ginger, as +old Sam took his cup. + +"Ho!" ses Sam, firing up; "and why, if I might make so bold as to ask?" + +"'Cos I've generally seen you drinking something out of a bottle," ses +Ginger. + +"Now, look 'ere," ses Sam, starting up and spilling some of the hot cocoa +over 'is lap. + +"A ginger-beer bottle," ses Peter Russet, making faces at Ginger to keep +quiet. + +"Yes, o' course, that's wot I meant," ses Ginger. + +Old Sam wiped the cocoa off 'is knees without saying a word, but his +weskit kept going up and down till Peter Russet felt quite sorry for 'im. + +"There's nothing like it," he ses to Mrs. Finch. "It was by sticking to +ginger-beer and milk and such-like that Captain Small 'ad command of a +ship afore 'e was twenty-five." + +"Lor'!" ses Mrs. Finch. + +She smiled at old Sam till Peter got uneasy agin, and began to think +p'r'aps 'e'd been praising 'im too much. + +"Of course, I'm speaking of long ago now," he ses. + +"Years and years afore you was born, ma'am," ses Ginger. + +Old Sam was going to say something, but Mrs. Finch looked so pleased that +'e thought better of it. Some o' the cocoa 'e was drinking went the +wrong way, and then Ginger patted 'im on the back and told 'im to be +careful not to bring on 'is brownchitis agin. Wot with temper and being +afraid to speak for fear they should let Mrs. Finch know that 'e wasn't a +captin, he could 'ardly bear 'imself, but he very near broke out when +Peter Russet advised 'im to 'ave his weskit lined with red flannel. They +all stayed on till closing time, and by the time they left they 'ad made +theirselves so pleasant that Mrs. Finch said she'd be pleased to see them +any time they liked to look in. + +Sam Small waited till they 'ad turned the corner, and then he broke out +so alarming that they could 'ardly do anything with 'im. Twice policemen +spoke to 'im and advised 'im to go home afore they altered their minds; +and he 'ad to hold 'imself in and keep quiet while Ginger and Peter +Russet took 'is arms and said they were seeing him 'ome. + +He started the row agin when they got in-doors, and sat up in 'is bed +smacking 'is lips over the things he'd like to 'ave done to them if he +could. And then, arter saying 'ow he'd like to see Ginger boiled alive +like a lobster, he said he knew that 'e was a noble-'arted feller who +wouldn't try and cut an old pal out, and that it was a case of love at +first sight on top of a tram-car. + +"She's too young for you," ses Ginger; "and too good-looking besides." + +"It's the nice little bisness he's fallen in love with, Ginger," ses +Peter Russet. "I'll toss you who 'as it." + +Ginger, who was siting on the foot o' Sam's bed, said "no" at fust, but +arter a time he pulled out arf a dollar and spun it in the air. + +That was the last 'e see of it, although he 'ad Sam out o' bed and all +the clothes stripped off of it twice. He spent over arf an hour on his +'ands and knees looking for it, and Sam said when he was tired of playing +bears p'r'aps he'd go to bed and get to sleep like a Christian. + +They 'ad it all over agin next morning, and at last, as nobody would +agree to keep quiet and let the others 'ave a fair chance, they made up +their minds to let the best man win. Ginger Dick bought a necktie that +took all the colour out o' Sam's, and Peter Russet went in for a collar +so big that 'e was lost in it. + +They all strolled into the widow's shop separate that night. Ginger Dick +'ad smashed his pipe and wanted another; Peter Russet wanted some +tobacco; and old Sam Small walked in smiling, with a little silver brooch +for 'er, that he said 'e had picked up. + +It was a very nice brooch, and Mrs. Finch was so pleased with it that +Ginger and Peter sat there as mad as they could be because they 'adn't +thought of the same thing. + +"Captain Small is very lucky at finding things," ses Ginger, at last. + +"He's got the name for it," ses Peter Russet. + +"It's a handy 'abit," ses Ginger; "it saves spending money. Who did you +give that gold bracelet to you picked up the other night, captin?" he +ses, turning to Sam. + +"Gold bracelet?" ses Sam. "I didn't pick up no gold bracelet. Wot are +you talking about?" + +"All right, captin; no offence," ses Ginger, holding up his 'and. "I +dreamt I saw one on your mantelpiece, I s'pose. P'r'aps I oughtn't to +ha' said anything about it." + +Old Sam looked as though he'd like to eat 'im, especially as he noticed +Mrs. Finch listening and pretending not to. "Oh! that one," he ses, +arter a bit o' hard thinking. "Oh! I found out who it belonged to. You +wouldn't believe 'ow pleased they was at getting it back agin." + +Ginger Dick coughed and began to think as 'ow old Sam was sharper than he +'ad given 'im credit for, but afore he could think of anything else to +say Mrs. Finch looked at old Sam and began to talk about 'is ship, and to +say 'ow much she should like to see over it. + +"I wish I could take you," ses Sam, looking at the other two out o' the +corner of his eye, "but my ship's over at Dunkirk, in France. I've just +run over to London for a week or two to look round." + +"And mine's there too," ses Peter Russet, speaking a'most afore old Sam +'ad finished; "side by side they lay in the harbour." + +"Oh, dear," ses Mrs. Finch, folding her 'ands and shaking her 'cad. "I +should like to go over a ship one arternoon. I'd quite made up my mind +to it, knowing three captins." + +She smiled and looked at Ginger; and Sam and Peter looked at 'im too, +wondering whether he was going to berth his ship at Dunkirk alongside o' +theirs. + +"Ah, I wish I 'ad met you a fortnight ago," ses Ginger, very sad. "I +gave up my ship, the High flyer, then, and I'm waiting for one my owners +are 'aving built for me at New-castle. They said the High flyer wasn't +big enough for me. She was a nice little ship, though. I believe I've +got 'er picture somewhere about me!" + +He felt in 'is pocket and pulled out a little, crumpled-up photograph of +a ship he'd been fireman aboard of some years afore, and showed it to +'er. + +"That's me standing on the bridge," he ses, pointing out a little dot +with the stem of 'is pipe. + +"It's your figger," ses Mrs. Finch, straining her eyes. "I should know +it anywhere." + +"You've got wonderful eyes, ma'am," ses old Sam, choking with 'is pipe. + +"Anybody can see that," ses Ginger. "They're the largest and the bluest +I've ever seen." + +Mrs. Finch told 'im not to talk nonsense, but both Sam and Peter Russet +could see 'ow pleased she was. + +"Truth is truth," ses Ginger. "I'm a plain man, and I speak my mind." + +"Blue is my fav'rit' colour," ses old Sam, in a tender voice. "True +blue." + +Peter Russet began to feel out of it. "I thought brown was," he ses. + +"Ho!" ses Sam, turning on 'im; "and why?" + +"I 'ad my reasons," ses Peter, nodding, and shutting 'is mouth very firm. + +"I thought brown was 'is fav'rit colour too," ses Ginger. "I don't know +why. It's no use asking me; because if you did I couldn't tell you." + +"Brown's a very nice colour," ses Mrs. Finch, wondering wot was the +matter with old Sam. + +"Blue," ses Ginger; "big blue eyes--they're the ones for me. Other +people may 'ave their blacks and their browns," he ses, looking at Sam +and Peter Russet, "but give me blue." + +They went on like that all the evening, and every time the shop-bell went +and the widow 'ad to go out to serve a customer they said in w'ispers wot +they thought of each other; and once when she came back rather sudden +Ginger 'ad to explain to 'er that 'e was showing Peter Russet a scratch +on his knuckle. + +Ginger Dick was the fust there next night, and took 'er a little chiney +teapot he 'ad picked up dirt cheap because it was cracked right acrost +the middle; but, as he explained that he 'ad dropped it in hurrying to +see 'er, she was just as pleased. She stuck it up on the mantelpiece, +and the things she said about Ginger's kindness and generosity made Peter +Russet spend good money that he wanted for 'imself on a painted +flower-pot next evening. + +With three men all courting 'er at the same time Mrs. Finch had 'er hands +full, but she took to it wonderful considering. She was so nice and kind +to 'em all that even arter a week's 'ard work none of 'em was really +certain which she liked best. + +They took to going in at odd times o' the day for tobacco and such-like. +They used to go alone then, but they all met and did the polite to each +other there of an evening, and then quarrelled all the way 'ome. + +Then all of a sudden, without any warning, Ginger Dick and Peter Russet +left off going there. The fust evening Sam sat expecting them every +minute, and was so surprised that he couldn't take any advantage of it; +but on the second, beginning by squeezing Mrs. Finch's 'and at ha'-past +seven, he 'ad got best part of his arm round 'er waist by a quarter to +ten. He didn't do more that night because she told him to be'ave +'imself, and threatened to scream if he didn't leave off. + +He was arf-way home afore 'e thought of the reason for Ginger Dick and +Peter Russet giving up, and then he went along smiling to 'imself to such +an extent that people thought 'e was mad. He went off to sleep with the +smile still on 'is lips, and when Peter and Ginger came in soon arter +closing time and 'e woke up and asked them where they'd been, 'e was +still smiling. + +"I didn't 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you at Mrs. Finch's to-night," he +ses. + +"No," ses Ginger, very short. "We got tired of it." + +"So un'ealthy sitting in that stuffy little room every evening," ses +Peter. + +Old Sam put his 'ead under the bedclothes and laughed till the bed shook; +and every now and then he'd put his 'ead out and look at Peter and Ginger +and laugh agin till he choked. + +"I see 'ow it is," he ses, sitting up and wiping his eyes on the sheet. +"Well, we cant all win." + +"Wot d'ye mean?" ses Ginger, very disagreeable. + +"She wouldn't 'ave you, Sam, thats wot I mean. And I don't wonder at +it. I wouldn't 'ave you if I was a gal." + +"You're dreaming, ses Peter Russet, sneering at 'im. + +"That flower-pot o' yours'll come in handy," ses Sam, thinking 'ow he 'ad +put 'is arm round the widow's waist; "and I thank you kindly for the +teapot, Ginger. + +"You don't mean to say as you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger, +looking at Peter Russet. + +"Not quite; but I'm going to," ses Sam, "and I'll bet you even arf-crowns +she ses 'yes.'" + +Ginger wouldn't take 'im, and no more would Peter, not even when he raised +it to five shillings; and the vain way old Sam lay there boasting and +talking about 'is way with the gals made 'em both feel ill. + +"I wouldn't 'ave her if she asked me on 'er bended knees," ses Ginger, +holding up his 'ead. + +"Nor me," ses Peter. "You're welcome to 'er, Sam. When I think of the +evenings I've wasted over a fat old woman I feel----" + +"That'll do," ses old Sam, very sharp; "that ain't the way to speak of a +lady, even if she 'as said 'no.'" + +"All right, Sam," ses Ginger. "You go in and win if you think you're so +precious clever." + +Old Sam said that that was wot 'e was going to do, and he spent so much +time next morning making 'imself look pretty that the other two could +'ardly be civil to him. + +He went off a'most direckly arter breakfast, and they didn't see 'im agin +till twelve o'clock that night. He 'ad brought a bottle o' whisky in +with 'im, and he was so 'appy that they see plain wot had 'appened. + +"She said 'yes' at two o'clock in the arternoon," ses old Sam, smiling, +arter they had 'ad a glass apiece. "I'd nearly done the trick at one +o'clock, and then the shop-bell went, and I 'ad to begin all over agin. +Still, it wasn't unpleasant." + +"Do you mean to tell us you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger, +'olding out 'is glass to be filled agin. + +"I do," ses Sam; "but I 'ope there's no ill-feeling. You never 'ad a +chance, neither of you; she told me so." + +Ginger Dick and Peter Russet stared at each other. + +"She said she 'ad been in love with me all along," ses Sam, filling their +glasses agin to cheer 'em up. "We went out arter tea and bought the +engagement-ring, and then she got somebody to mind the shop and we went +to the Pagoda music-'all." + +"I 'ope you didn't pay much for the ring, Sam," ses Ginger, who always +got very kind-'arted arter two or three glasses o' whisky. "If I'd known +you was going to be in such a hurry I might ha' told you before." + +"We ought to ha' done," ses Peter, shaking his 'ead. + +"Told me?" ses Sam, staring at 'em. "Told me wot?" + +"Why me and Peter gave it up," ses Ginger; "but, o' course, p'r'aps you +don't mind." + +"Mind wot?" ses Sam. + +"It's wonderful 'ow quiet she kept it," ses Peter. + +Old Sam stared at 'em agin, and then he asked 'em to speak in plain +English wot they'd got to say, and not to go taking away the character of +a woman wot wasn't there to speak up for herself. + +"It's nothing agin 'er character," ses Ginger. "It's a credit to her, +looked at properly," ses Peter Russet. + +"And Sam'll 'ave the pleasure of bringing of 'em up," ses Ginger. + +"Bringing of 'em up?" ses Sam, in a trembling voice and turning pale; +"bringing who up?" + +"Why, 'er children," ses Ginger. "Didn't she tell you? She's got nine +of 'em." + +Sam pretended not to believe 'em at fust, and said they was jealous; but +next day he crept down to the greengrocer's shop in the same street, +where Ginger had 'appened to buy some oranges one day, and found that it +was only too true. Nine children, the eldest of 'em only fifteen, was +staying with diff'rent relations owing to scarlet-fever next door. + +Old Sam crept back 'ome like a man in a dream, with a bag of oranges he +didn't want, and, arter making a present of the engagement-ring to +Ginger--if 'e could get it--he took the fust train to Tilbury and signed +on for a v'y'ge to China. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Captains All, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11181 *** |