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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type"
+ content="text/html; charset=us-ascii">
+<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of
+ Captains All,
+ by W.W. Jacobs, Book 1.
+</title>
+<style type="text/css">
+ <!--
+ body {background:#faebd7;}
+ * { font-family: Times;
+ }
+ P { text-indent: 1em;
+ margin: 15%;
+ margin-top: .75em;
+ font-size: 14pt;
+ text-align: justify;
+ margin-bottom: .75em; }
+ H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; color:#A82C28;}
+ HR { width: 33%; }
+ PRE { font-family: Courier, monospaced;}
+ .toc { margin-left: 15%; font-size: 14pt; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+ CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+ // -->
+</style>
+</head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Captains All, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Captains All
+ Captains All, Part 1.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: February 20, 2004 [EBook #11181]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAPTAINS ALL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h1>
+ CAPTAINS ALL
+</h1>
+<br />
+<h2>
+ By W.W. Jacobs
+</h2>
+<br /><br />
+
+<center>
+<h2>Book 1.</h2>
+</center>
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="title (79K)" src="title.jpg" height="884" width="533" />
+</center>
+<br><br>
+
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="frontis (94K)" src="frontis.jpg" height="906" width="532" />
+</center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+<br /><br />
+
+<h2>List of Illustrations</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+<tr><td>
+
+
+
+
+
+<p class="toc"><a href="#image-1">
+"Captains All."
+</a></p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+<br /><br />
+<hr>
+
+
+
+
+
+<a name="2H_4_1"><!-- H2 anchor --></a>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h2>
+ CAPTAINS ALL
+</h2>
+<a name="image-1"><!--IMG--></a>
+<center>
+<img src="001.jpg" height="462" width="536"
+alt="'captains All.'
+">
+</center>
+<!--IMAGE END-->
+<p>
+ Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman,
+ thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on
+ grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do.
+ There's not many shore-going berths that a sailorman is fit for, and
+ those that they are&mdash;such as a night-watchman's, for instance&mdash;wants such
+ a good character that there's few as are to equal it.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sometimes they get things to do ashore. I knew one man that took up
+ butchering, and 'e did very well at it till the police took him up.
+ Another man I knew gave up the sea to marry a washerwoman, and they
+ hadn't been married six months afore she died, and back he 'ad to go to
+ sea agin, pore chap.
+</p>
+<p>
+ A man who used to grumble awful about the sea was old Sam Small&mdash;a man
+ I've spoke of to you before. To hear 'im go on about the sea, arter he
+ 'ad spent four or five months' money in a fortnight, was 'artbreaking.
+ He used to ask us wot was going to happen to 'im in his old age, and when
+ we pointed out that he wouldn't be likely to 'ave any old age if he
+ wasn't more careful of 'imself he used to fly into a temper and call us
+ everything 'e could lay his tongue to.
+</p>
+<p>
+ One time when 'e was ashore with Peter Russet and Ginger Dick he seemed
+ to 'ave got it on the brain. He started being careful of 'is money
+ instead o' spending it, and three mornings running he bought a newspaper
+ and read the advertisements, to see whether there was any comfortable
+ berth for a strong, good-'arted man wot didn't like work.
+</p>
+<p>
+ He actually went arter one situation, and, if it hadn't ha' been for
+ seventy-nine other men, he said he believed he'd ha' had a good chance of
+ getting it. As it was, all 'e got was a black eye for shoving another
+ man, and for a day or two he was so down-'arted that 'e was no company at
+ all for the other two.
+</p>
+<p>
+ For three or four days 'e went out by 'imself, and then, all of a sudden,
+ Ginger Dick and Peter began to notice a great change in him. He seemed
+ to 'ave got quite cheerful and 'appy. He answered 'em back pleasant when
+ they spoke to 'im, and one night he lay in 'is bed whistling comic songs
+ until Ginger and Peter Russet 'ad to get out o' bed to him. When he
+ bought a new necktie and a smart cap and washed 'imself twice in one day
+ they fust began to ask each other wot was up, and then they asked him.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Up?" ses Sam; "nothing."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "He's in love," ses Peter Russet.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "You're a liar," ses Sam, without turning round.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "He'll 'ave it bad at 'is age," ses Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sam didn't say nothing, but he kept fidgeting about as though 'e'd got
+ something on his mind. Fust he looked out o' the winder, then he 'ummed
+ a tune, and at last, looking at 'em very fierce, he took a tooth-brush
+ wrapped in paper out of 'is pocket and began to clean 'is teeth.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "He is in love," ses Ginger, as soon as he could speak.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Or else 'e's gorn mad," ses Peter, watching 'im. "Which is it, Sam?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sam made believe that he couldn't answer 'im because o' the tooth-brush,
+ and arter he'd finished he 'ad such a raging toothache that 'e sat in a
+ corner holding 'is face and looking the pictur' o' misery. They couldn't
+ get a word out of him till they asked 'im to go out with them, and then
+ he said 'e was going to bed. Twenty minutes arterwards, when Ginger Dick
+ stepped back for 'is pipe, he found he 'ad gorn.
+</p>
+<p>
+ He tried the same game next night, but the other two wouldn't 'ave it,
+ and they stayed in so long that at last 'e lost 'is temper, and, arter
+ wondering wot Ginger's father and mother could ha' been a-thinking about,
+ and saying that he believed Peter Russet 'ad been changed at birth for a
+ sea-sick monkey, he put on 'is cap and went out. Both of 'em follered
+ 'im sharp, but when he led 'em to a mission-hall, and actually went
+ inside, they left 'im and went off on their own.
+</p>
+<p>
+ They talked it over that night between themselves, and next evening they
+ went out fust and hid themselves round the corner. Ten minutes
+ arterwards old Sam came out, walking as though 'e was going to catch a
+ train; and smiling to think 'ow he 'ad shaken them off. At the corner of
+ Commercial Road he stopped and bought 'imself a button-hole for 'is coat,
+ and Ginger was so surprised that 'e pinched Peter Russet to make sure
+ that he wasn't dreaming.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam walked straight on whistling, and every now and then looking down
+ at 'is button-hole, until by-and-by he turned down a street on the right
+ and went into a little shop. Ginger Dick and Peter waited for 'im at the
+ corner, but he was inside for so long that at last they got tired o'
+ waiting and crept up and peeped through the winder.
+</p>
+<p>
+ It was a little tobacconist's shop, with newspapers and penny toys and
+ such-like; but, as far as Ginger could see through two rows o' pipes and
+ the Police News, it was empty. They stood there with their noses pressed
+ against the glass for some time, wondering wot had 'appened to Sam, but
+ by-and-by a little boy went in and then they began to 'ave an idea wot
+ Sam's little game was.
+</p>
+<p>
+ As the shop-bell went the door of a little parlour at the back of the
+ shop opened, and a stout and uncommon good-looking woman of about forty
+ came out. Her 'ead pushed the <i>Police News</i> out o' the way and her 'and
+ came groping into the winder arter a toy.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger 'ad a good look at 'er out o' the corner of one eye, while he
+ pretended to be looking at a tobacco-jar with the other. As the little
+ boy came out 'im and Peter Russet went in.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I want a pipe, please," he ses, smiling at 'er; "a clay pipe&mdash;one o' your
+ best." The woman handed 'im down a box to choose from, and just then
+ Peter, wot 'ad been staring in at the arf-open door at a boot wot wanted
+ lacing up, gave a big start and ses, "Why! Halloa!"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Wot's the matter?" ses the woman, looking at 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I'd know that foot anywhere," ses Peter, still staring at it; and the
+ words was hardly out of 'is mouth afore the foot 'ad moved itself away
+ and tucked itself under its chair. "Why, that's my dear old friend Sam
+ Small, ain't it?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Do you know the captin?" ses the woman, smiling at 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Cap&mdash;&mdash;?" ses Peter. "Cap&mdash;&mdash;? Oh, yes; why, he's the biggest friend
+ I've got." "'Ow strange!" ses the woman.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "We've been wanting to see 'im for some time," ses Ginger. "He was kind
+ enough to lend me arf a crown the other day, and I've been wanting to pay
+ 'im."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Captin Small," ses the woman, pushing open the door, "here's some old
+ friends o' yours."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam turned 'is face round and looked at 'em, and if looks could ha'
+ killed, as the saying is, they'd ha' been dead men there and then.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Oh, yes," he ses, in a choking voice; "'ow are you?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Pretty well, thank you, captin," ses Ginger, grinning at 'im; "and 'ow's
+ yourself arter all this long time?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ He held out 'is hand and Sam shook it, and then shook 'ands with Peter
+ Russet, who was grinning so 'ard that he couldn't speak.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "These are two old friends o' mine, Mrs. Finch," ses old Sam, giving 'em
+ a warning look; "Captin Dick and Captin Russet, two o' the oldest and
+ best friends a man ever 'ad."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Captin Dick 'as got arf a crown for you," ses Peter Russet, still
+ grinning.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "There now," ses Ginger, looking vexed, "if I ain't been and forgot it;
+ I've on'y got arf a sovereign."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I can give you change, sir," ses Mrs. Finch. "P'r'aps you'd like to sit
+ down for five minutes?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger thanked 'er, and 'im and Peter Russet took a chair apiece in front
+ o' the fire and began asking old Sam about 'is 'ealth, and wot he'd been
+ doing since they saw 'im last.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Fancy your reckernizing his foot," ses Mrs. Finch, coming in with the
+ change.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I'd know it anywhere," ses Peter, who was watching Ginger pretending to
+ give Sam Small the 'arf-dollar, and Sam pretending in a most lifelike
+ manner to take it.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger Dick looked round the room. It was a comfortable little place,
+ with pictures on the walls and antimacassars on all the chairs, and a row
+ of pink vases on the mantelpiece. Then 'e looked at Mrs. Finch, and
+ thought wot a nice-looking woman she was.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "This is nicer than being aboard ship with a crew o' nasty, troublesome
+ sailormen to look arter, Captin Small," he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's wonderful the way he manages 'em," ses Peter Russet to Mrs. Finch.
+ "Like a lion he is."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "A roaring lion," ses Ginger, looking at Sam. "He don't know wot fear
+ is."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sam began to smile, and Mrs. Finch looked at 'im so pleased that Peter
+ Russet, who 'ad been looking at 'er and the room, and thinking much the
+ same way as Ginger, began to think that they was on the wrong tack.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Afore 'e got stout and old," he ses, shaking his 'ead, "there wasn't a
+ smarter skipper afloat."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "We all 'ave our day," ses Ginger, shaking his 'ead too.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I dessay he's good for another year or two afloat, yet," ses Peter
+ Russet, considering. "With care," ses Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam was going to say something, but 'e stopped himself just in time.
+ "They will 'ave their joke," he ses, turning to Mrs. Finch and trying to
+ smile. "I feel as young as ever I did."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Mrs. Finch said that anybody with arf an eye could see that, and then she
+ looked at a kettle that was singing on the 'ob.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I s'pose you gentlemen wouldn't care for a cup o' cocoa?" she ses,
+ turning to them.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger Dick and Peter both said that they liked it better than anything
+ else, and, arter she 'ad got out the cups and saucers and a tin o' cocoa,
+ Ginger held the kettle and poured the water in the cups while she stirred
+ them, and old Sam sat looking on 'elpless.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It does seem funny to see you drinking cocoa, captin," ses Ginger, as
+ old Sam took his cup.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Ho!" ses Sam, firing up; "and why, if I might make so bold as to ask?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "'Cos I've generally seen you drinking something out of a bottle," ses
+ Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Now, look 'ere," ses Sam, starting up and spilling some of the hot cocoa
+ over 'is lap.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "A ginger-beer bottle," ses Peter Russet, making faces at Ginger to keep
+ quiet.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Yes, o' course, that's wot I meant," ses Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam wiped the cocoa off 'is knees without saying a word, but his
+ weskit kept going up and down till Peter Russet felt quite sorry for 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "There's nothing like it," he ses to Mrs. Finch. "It was by sticking to
+ ginger-beer and milk and such-like that Captain Small 'ad command of a
+ ship afore 'e was twenty-five."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Lor'!" ses Mrs. Finch.
+</p>
+<p>
+ She smiled at old Sam till Peter got uneasy agin, and began to think
+ p'r'aps 'e'd been praising 'im too much.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Of course, I'm speaking of long ago now," he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Years and years afore you was born, ma'am," ses Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam was going to say something, but Mrs. Finch looked so pleased that
+ 'e thought better of it. Some o' the cocoa 'e was drinking went the
+ wrong way, and then Ginger patted 'im on the back and told 'im to be
+ careful not to bring on 'is brownchitis agin. Wot with temper and being
+ afraid to speak for fear they should let Mrs. Finch know that 'e wasn't a
+ captin, he could 'ardly bear 'imself, but he very near broke out when
+ Peter Russet advised 'im to 'ave his weskit lined with red flannel. They
+ all stayed on till closing time, and by the time they left they 'ad made
+ theirselves so pleasant that Mrs. Finch said she'd be pleased to see them
+ any time they liked to look in.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sam Small waited till they 'ad turned the corner, and then he broke out
+ so alarming that they could 'ardly do anything with 'im. Twice policemen
+ spoke to 'im and advised 'im to go home afore they altered their minds;
+ and he 'ad to hold 'imself in and keep quiet while Ginger and Peter
+ Russet took 'is arms and said they were seeing him 'ome.
+</p>
+<p>
+ He started the row agin when they got in-doors, and sat up in 'is bed
+ smacking 'is lips over the things he'd like to 'ave done to them if he
+ could. And then, arter saying 'ow he'd like to see Ginger boiled alive
+ like a lobster, he said he knew that 'e was a noble-'arted feller who
+ wouldn't try and cut an old pal out, and that it was a case of love at
+ first sight on top of a tram-car.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "She's too young for you," ses Ginger; "and too good-looking besides."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's the nice little bisness he's fallen in love with, Ginger," ses
+ Peter Russet. "I'll toss you who 'as it."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger, who was siting on the foot o' Sam's bed, said "no" at fust, but
+ arter a time he pulled out arf a dollar and spun it in the air.
+</p>
+<p>
+ That was the last 'e see of it, although he 'ad Sam out o' bed and all
+ the clothes stripped off of it twice. He spent over arf an hour on his
+ 'ands and knees looking for it, and Sam said when he was tired of playing
+ bears p'r'aps he'd go to bed and get to sleep like a Christian.
+</p>
+<p>
+ They 'ad it all over agin next morning, and at last, as nobody would
+ agree to keep quiet and let the others 'ave a fair chance, they made up
+ their minds to let the best man win. Ginger Dick bought a necktie that
+ took all the colour out o' Sam's, and Peter Russet went in for a collar
+ so big that 'e was lost in it.
+</p>
+<p>
+ They all strolled into the widow's shop separate that night. Ginger Dick
+ 'ad smashed his pipe and wanted another; Peter Russet wanted some
+ tobacco; and old Sam Small walked in smiling, with a little silver brooch
+ for 'er, that he said 'e had picked up.
+</p>
+<p>
+ It was a very nice brooch, and Mrs. Finch was so pleased with it that
+ Ginger and Peter sat there as mad as they could be because they 'adn't
+ thought of the same thing.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Captain Small is very lucky at finding things," ses Ginger, at last.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "He's got the name for it," ses Peter Russet.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's a handy 'abit," ses Ginger; "it saves spending money. Who did you
+ give that gold bracelet to you picked up the other night, captin?" he
+ ses, turning to Sam.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Gold bracelet?" ses Sam. "I didn't pick up no gold bracelet. Wot are
+ you talking about?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "All right, captin; no offence," ses Ginger, holding up his 'and. "I
+ dreamt I saw one on your mantelpiece, I s'pose. P'r'aps I oughtn't to
+ ha' said anything about it."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam looked as though he'd like to eat 'im, especially as he noticed
+ Mrs. Finch listening and pretending not to. "Oh! that one," he ses,
+ arter a bit o' hard thinking. "Oh! I found out who it belonged to. You
+ wouldn't believe 'ow pleased they was at getting it back agin."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger Dick coughed and began to think as 'ow old Sam was sharper than he
+ 'ad given 'im credit for, but afore he could think of anything else to
+ say Mrs. Finch looked at old Sam and began to talk about 'is ship, and to
+ say 'ow much she should like to see over it.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I wish I could take you," ses Sam, looking at the other two out o' the
+ corner of his eye, "but my ship's over at Dunkirk, in France. I've just
+ run over to London for a week or two to look round."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "And mine's there too," ses Peter Russet, speaking a'most afore old Sam
+ 'ad finished; "side by side they lay in the harbour."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Oh, dear," ses Mrs. Finch, folding her 'ands and shaking her 'cad. "I
+ should like to go over a ship one arternoon. I'd quite made up my mind
+ to it, knowing three captins."
+</p>
+<p>
+ She smiled and looked at Ginger; and Sam and Peter looked at 'im too,
+ wondering whether he was going to berth his ship at Dunkirk alongside o'
+ theirs.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Ah, I wish I 'ad met you a fortnight ago," ses Ginger, very sad. "I
+ gave up my ship, the High flyer, then, and I'm waiting for one my owners
+ are 'aving built for me at New-castle. They said the High flyer wasn't
+ big enough for me. She was a nice little ship, though. I believe I've
+ got 'er picture somewhere about me!"
+</p>
+<p>
+ He felt in 'is pocket and pulled out a little, crumpled-up photograph of
+ a ship he'd been fireman aboard of some years afore, and showed it to
+ 'er.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "That's me standing on the bridge," he ses, pointing out a little dot
+ with the stem of 'is pipe.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's your figger," ses Mrs. Finch, straining her eyes. "I should know
+ it anywhere."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "You've got wonderful eyes, ma'am," ses old Sam, choking with 'is pipe.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Anybody can see that," ses Ginger. "They're the largest and the bluest
+ I've ever seen."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Mrs. Finch told 'im not to talk nonsense, but both Sam and Peter Russet
+ could see 'ow pleased she was.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Truth is truth," ses Ginger. "I'm a plain man, and I speak my mind."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Blue is my fav'rit' colour," ses old Sam, in a tender voice. "True
+ blue."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Peter Russet began to feel out of it. "I thought brown was," he ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Ho!" ses Sam, turning on 'im; "and why?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I 'ad my reasons," ses Peter, nodding, and shutting 'is mouth very firm.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I thought brown was 'is fav'rit colour too," ses Ginger. "I don't know
+ why. It's no use asking me; because if you did I couldn't tell you."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Brown's a very nice colour," ses Mrs. Finch, wondering wot was the
+ matter with old Sam.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Blue," ses Ginger; "big blue eyes&mdash;they're the ones for me. Other
+ people may 'ave their blacks and their browns," he ses, looking at Sam
+ and Peter Russet, "but give me blue."
+</p>
+<p>
+ They went on like that all the evening, and every time the shop-bell went
+ and the widow 'ad to go out to serve a customer they said in w'ispers wot
+ they thought of each other; and once when she came back rather sudden
+ Ginger 'ad to explain to 'er that 'e was showing Peter Russet a scratch
+ on his knuckle.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger Dick was the fust there next night, and took 'er a little chiney
+ teapot he 'ad picked up dirt cheap because it was cracked right acrost
+ the middle; but, as he explained that he 'ad dropped it in hurrying to
+ see 'er, she was just as pleased. She stuck it up on the mantelpiece,
+ and the things she said about Ginger's kindness and generosity made Peter
+ Russet spend good money that he wanted for 'imself on a painted
+ flower-pot next evening.
+</p>
+<p>
+ With three men all courting 'er at the same time Mrs. Finch had 'er hands
+ full, but she took to it wonderful considering. She was so nice and kind
+ to 'em all that even arter a week's 'ard work none of 'em was really
+ certain which she liked best.
+</p>
+<p>
+ They took to going in at odd times o' the day for tobacco and such-like.
+ They used to go alone then, but they all met and did the polite to each
+ other there of an evening, and then quarrelled all the way 'ome.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Then all of a sudden, without any warning, Ginger Dick and Peter Russet
+ left off going there. The fust evening Sam sat expecting them every
+ minute, and was so surprised that he couldn't take any advantage of it;
+ but on the second, beginning by squeezing Mrs. Finch's 'and at ha'-past
+ seven, he 'ad got best part of his arm round 'er waist by a quarter to
+ ten. He didn't do more that night because she told him to be'ave
+ 'imself, and threatened to scream if he didn't leave off.
+</p>
+<p>
+ He was arf-way home afore 'e thought of the reason for Ginger Dick and
+ Peter Russet giving up, and then he went along smiling to 'imself to such
+ an extent that people thought 'e was mad. He went off to sleep with the
+ smile still on 'is lips, and when Peter and Ginger came in soon arter
+ closing time and 'e woke up and asked them where they'd been, 'e was
+ still smiling.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I didn't 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you at Mrs. Finch's to-night," he
+ ses.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "No," ses Ginger, very short. "We got tired of it."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "So un'ealthy sitting in that stuffy little room every evening," ses
+ Peter.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam put his 'ead under the bedclothes and laughed till the bed shook;
+ and every now and then he'd put his 'ead out and look at Peter and Ginger
+ and laugh agin till he choked.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I see 'ow it is," he ses, sitting up and wiping his eyes on the sheet.
+ "Well, we cant all win."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Wot d'ye mean?" ses Ginger, very disagreeable.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "She wouldn't 'ave you, Sam, thats wot I mean. And I don't wonder at
+ it. I wouldn't 'ave you if I was a gal."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "You're dreaming, ses Peter Russet, sneering at 'im.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "That flower-pot o' yours'll come in handy," ses Sam, thinking 'ow he 'ad
+ put 'is arm round the widow's waist; "and I thank you kindly for the
+ teapot, Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "You don't mean to say as you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger,
+ looking at Peter Russet.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Not quite; but I'm going to," ses Sam, "and I'll bet you even arf-crowns
+ she ses 'yes.'"
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger wouldn't take 'im, and no more would Peter, not even when he raised
+ it to five shillings; and the vain way old Sam lay there boasting and
+ talking about 'is way with the gals made 'em both feel ill.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I wouldn't 'ave her if she asked me on 'er bended knees," ses Ginger,
+ holding up his 'ead.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Nor me," ses Peter. "You're welcome to 'er, Sam. When I think of the
+ evenings I've wasted over a fat old woman I feel&mdash;&mdash;"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "That'll do," ses old Sam, very sharp; "that ain't the way to speak of a
+ lady, even if she 'as said 'no.'"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "All right, Sam," ses Ginger. "You go in and win if you think you're so
+ precious clever."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam said that that was wot 'e was going to do, and he spent so much
+ time next morning making 'imself look pretty that the other two could
+ 'ardly be civil to him.
+</p>
+<p>
+ He went off a'most direckly arter breakfast, and they didn't see 'im agin
+ till twelve o'clock that night. He 'ad brought a bottle o' whisky in
+ with 'im, and he was so 'appy that they see plain wot had 'appened.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "She said 'yes' at two o'clock in the arternoon," ses old Sam, smiling,
+ arter they had 'ad a glass apiece. "I'd nearly done the trick at one
+ o'clock, and then the shop-bell went, and I 'ad to begin all over agin.
+ Still, it wasn't unpleasant."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Do you mean to tell us you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger,
+ 'olding out 'is glass to be filled agin.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I do," ses Sam; "but I 'ope there's no ill-feeling. You never 'ad a
+ chance, neither of you; she told me so."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Ginger Dick and Peter Russet stared at each other.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "She said she 'ad been in love with me all along," ses Sam, filling their
+ glasses agin to cheer 'em up. "We went out arter tea and bought the
+ engagement-ring, and then she got somebody to mind the shop and we went
+ to the Pagoda music-'all."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "I 'ope you didn't pay much for the ring, Sam," ses Ginger, who always
+ got very kind-'arted arter two or three glasses o' whisky. "If I'd known
+ you was going to be in such a hurry I might ha' told you before."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "We ought to ha' done," ses Peter, shaking his 'ead.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Told me?" ses Sam, staring at 'em. "Told me wot?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Why me and Peter gave it up," ses Ginger; "but, o' course, p'r'aps you
+ don't mind."
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Mind wot?" ses Sam.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's wonderful 'ow quiet she kept it," ses Peter.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam stared at 'em agin, and then he asked 'em to speak in plain
+ English wot they'd got to say, and not to go taking away the character of
+ a woman wot wasn't there to speak up for herself.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "It's nothing agin 'er character," ses Ginger. "It's a credit to her,
+ looked at properly," ses Peter Russet.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "And Sam'll 'ave the pleasure of bringing of 'em up," ses Ginger.
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Bringing of 'em up?" ses Sam, in a trembling voice and turning pale;
+ "bringing who up?"
+</p>
+<p>
+ "Why, 'er children," ses Ginger. "Didn't she tell you? She's got nine
+ of 'em."
+</p>
+<p>
+ Sam pretended not to believe 'em at fust, and said they was jealous; but
+ next day he crept down to the greengrocer's shop in the same street,
+ where Ginger had 'appened to buy some oranges one day, and found that it
+ was only too true. Nine children, the eldest of 'em only fifteen, was
+ staying with diff'rent relations owing to scarlet-fever next door.
+</p>
+<p>
+ Old Sam crept back 'ome like a man in a dream, with a bag of oranges he
+ didn't want, and, arter making a present of the engagement-ring to
+ Ginger&mdash;if 'e could get it&mdash;he took the fust train to Tilbury and signed
+ on for a v'y'ge to China.
+</p>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Captains All, by W.W. Jacobs
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Captains All, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Captains All
+ Captains All, Part 1.
+
+Author: W.W. Jacobs
+
+Release Date: February 20, 2004 [EBook #11181]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAPTAINS ALL ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+CAPTAINS ALL
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+CAPTAINS ALL
+
+[Illustration: "Captains All."]
+
+Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman,
+thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on
+grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do.
+There's not many shore-going berths that a sailorman is fit for, and
+those that they are--such as a night-watchman's, for instance--wants such
+a good character that there's few as are to equal it.
+
+Sometimes they get things to do ashore. I knew one man that took up
+butchering, and 'e did very well at it till the police took him up.
+Another man I knew gave up the sea to marry a washerwoman, and they
+hadn't been married six months afore she died, and back he 'ad to go to
+sea agin, pore chap.
+
+A man who used to grumble awful about the sea was old Sam Small--a man
+I've spoke of to you before. To hear 'im go on about the sea, arter he
+'ad spent four or five months' money in a fortnight, was 'artbreaking.
+He used to ask us wot was going to happen to 'im in his old age, and when
+we pointed out that he wouldn't be likely to 'ave any old age if he
+wasn't more careful of 'imself he used to fly into a temper and call us
+everything 'e could lay his tongue to.
+
+One time when 'e was ashore with Peter Russet and Ginger Dick he seemed
+to 'ave got it on the brain. He started being careful of 'is money
+instead o' spending it, and three mornings running he bought a newspaper
+and read the advertisements, to see whether there was any comfortable
+berth for a strong, good-'arted man wot didn't like work.
+
+He actually went arter one situation, and, if it hadn't ha' been for
+seventy-nine other men, he said he believed he'd ha' had a good chance of
+getting it. As it was, all 'e got was a black eye for shoving another
+man, and for a day or two he was so down-'arted that 'e was no company at
+all for the other two.
+
+For three or four days 'e went out by 'imself, and then, all of a sudden,
+Ginger Dick and Peter began to notice a great change in him. He seemed
+to 'ave got quite cheerful and 'appy. He answered 'em back pleasant when
+they spoke to 'im, and one night he lay in 'is bed whistling comic songs
+until Ginger and Peter Russet 'ad to get out o' bed to him. When he
+bought a new necktie and a smart cap and washed 'imself twice in one day
+they fust began to ask each other wot was up, and then they asked him.
+
+"Up?" ses Sam; "nothing."
+
+"He's in love," ses Peter Russet.
+
+"You're a liar," ses Sam, without turning round.
+
+"He'll 'ave it bad at 'is age," ses Ginger.
+
+Sam didn't say nothing, but he kept fidgeting about as though 'e'd got
+something on his mind. Fust he looked out o' the winder, then he 'ummed
+a tune, and at last, looking at 'em very fierce, he took a tooth-brush
+wrapped in paper out of 'is pocket and began to clean 'is teeth.
+
+"He is in love," ses Ginger, as soon as he could speak.
+
+"Or else 'e's gorn mad," ses Peter, watching 'im. "Which is it, Sam?"
+
+Sam made believe that he couldn't answer 'im because o' the tooth-brush,
+and arter he'd finished he 'ad such a raging toothache that 'e sat in a
+corner holding 'is face and looking the pictur' o' misery. They couldn't
+get a word out of him till they asked 'im to go out with them, and then
+he said 'e was going to bed. Twenty minutes arterwards, when Ginger Dick
+stepped back for 'is pipe, he found he 'ad gorn.
+
+He tried the same game next night, but the other two wouldn't 'ave it,
+and they stayed in so long that at last 'e lost 'is temper, and, arter
+wondering wot Ginger's father and mother could ha' been a-thinking about,
+and saying that he believed Peter Russet 'ad been changed at birth for a
+sea-sick monkey, he put on 'is cap and went out. Both of 'em follered
+'im sharp, but when he led 'em to a mission-hall, and actually went
+inside, they left 'im and went off on their own.
+
+They talked it over that night between themselves, and next evening they
+went out fust and hid themselves round the corner. Ten minutes
+arterwards old Sam came out, walking as though 'e was going to catch a
+train; and smiling to think 'ow he 'ad shaken them off. At the corner of
+Commercial Road he stopped and bought 'imself a button-hole for 'is coat,
+and Ginger was so surprised that 'e pinched Peter Russet to make sure
+that he wasn't dreaming.
+
+Old Sam walked straight on whistling, and every now and then looking down
+at 'is button-hole, until by-and-by he turned down a street on the right
+and went into a little shop. Ginger Dick and Peter waited for 'im at the
+corner, but he was inside for so long that at last they got tired o'
+waiting and crept up and peeped through the winder.
+
+It was a little tobacconist's shop, with newspapers and penny toys and
+such-like; but, as far as Ginger could see through two rows o' pipes and
+the Police News, it was empty. They stood there with their noses pressed
+against the glass for some time, wondering wot had 'appened to Sam, but
+by-and-by a little boy went in and then they began to 'ave an idea wot
+Sam's little game was.
+
+As the shop-bell went the door of a little parlour at the back of the
+shop opened, and a stout and uncommon good-looking woman of about forty
+came out. Her 'ead pushed the _Police News_ out o' the way and her 'and
+came groping into the winder arter a toy.
+
+Ginger 'ad a good look at 'er out o' the corner of one eye, while he
+pretended to be looking at a tobacco-jar with the other. As the little
+boy came out 'im and Peter Russet went in.
+
+"I want a pipe, please," he ses, smiling at 'er; "a clay pipe--one o' your
+best." The woman handed 'im down a box to choose from, and just then
+Peter, wot 'ad been staring in at the arf-open door at a boot wot wanted
+lacing up, gave a big start and ses, "Why! Halloa!"
+
+"Wot's the matter?" ses the woman, looking at 'im.
+
+"I'd know that foot anywhere," ses Peter, still staring at it; and the
+words was hardly out of 'is mouth afore the foot 'ad moved itself away
+and tucked itself under its chair. "Why, that's my dear old friend Sam
+Small, ain't it?"
+
+"Do you know the captin?" ses the woman, smiling at 'im.
+
+"Cap----?" ses Peter. "Cap----? Oh, yes; why, he's the biggest friend
+I've got." "'Ow strange!" ses the woman.
+
+"We've been wanting to see 'im for some time," ses Ginger. "He was kind
+enough to lend me arf a crown the other day, and I've been wanting to pay
+'im."
+
+"Captin Small," ses the woman, pushing open the door, "here's some old
+friends o' yours."
+
+Old Sam turned 'is face round and looked at 'em, and if looks could ha'
+killed, as the saying is, they'd ha' been dead men there and then.
+
+"Oh, yes," he ses, in a choking voice; "'ow are you?"
+
+"Pretty well, thank you, captin," ses Ginger, grinning at 'im; "and 'ow's
+yourself arter all this long time?"
+
+He held out 'is hand and Sam shook it, and then shook 'ands with Peter
+Russet, who was grinning so 'ard that he couldn't speak.
+
+"These are two old friends o' mine, Mrs. Finch," ses old Sam, giving 'em
+a warning look; "Captin Dick and Captin Russet, two o' the oldest and
+best friends a man ever 'ad."
+
+"Captin Dick 'as got arf a crown for you," ses Peter Russet, still
+grinning.
+
+"There now," ses Ginger, looking vexed, "if I ain't been and forgot it;
+I've on'y got arf a sovereign."
+
+"I can give you change, sir," ses Mrs. Finch. "P'r'aps you'd like to sit
+down for five minutes?"
+
+Ginger thanked 'er, and 'im and Peter Russet took a chair apiece in front
+o' the fire and began asking old Sam about 'is 'ealth, and wot he'd been
+doing since they saw 'im last.
+
+"Fancy your reckernizing his foot," ses Mrs. Finch, coming in with the
+change.
+
+"I'd know it anywhere," ses Peter, who was watching Ginger pretending to
+give Sam Small the 'arf-dollar, and Sam pretending in a most lifelike
+manner to take it.
+
+Ginger Dick looked round the room. It was a comfortable little place,
+with pictures on the walls and antimacassars on all the chairs, and a row
+of pink vases on the mantelpiece. Then 'e looked at Mrs. Finch, and
+thought wot a nice-looking woman she was.
+
+"This is nicer than being aboard ship with a crew o' nasty, troublesome
+sailormen to look arter, Captin Small," he ses.
+
+"It's wonderful the way he manages 'em," ses Peter Russet to Mrs. Finch.
+"Like a lion he is."
+
+"A roaring lion," ses Ginger, looking at Sam. "He don't know wot fear
+is."
+
+Sam began to smile, and Mrs. Finch looked at 'im so pleased that Peter
+Russet, who 'ad been looking at 'er and the room, and thinking much the
+same way as Ginger, began to think that they was on the wrong tack.
+
+"Afore 'e got stout and old," he ses, shaking his 'ead, "there wasn't a
+smarter skipper afloat."
+
+"We all 'ave our day," ses Ginger, shaking his 'ead too.
+
+"I dessay he's good for another year or two afloat, yet," ses Peter
+Russet, considering. "With care," ses Ginger.
+
+Old Sam was going to say something, but 'e stopped himself just in time.
+"They will 'ave their joke," he ses, turning to Mrs. Finch and trying to
+smile. "I feel as young as ever I did."
+
+Mrs. Finch said that anybody with arf an eye could see that, and then she
+looked at a kettle that was singing on the 'ob.
+
+"I s'pose you gentlemen wouldn't care for a cup o' cocoa?" she ses,
+turning to them.
+
+Ginger Dick and Peter both said that they liked it better than anything
+else, and, arter she 'ad got out the cups and saucers and a tin o' cocoa,
+Ginger held the kettle and poured the water in the cups while she stirred
+them, and old Sam sat looking on 'elpless.
+
+"It does seem funny to see you drinking cocoa, captin," ses Ginger, as
+old Sam took his cup.
+
+"Ho!" ses Sam, firing up; "and why, if I might make so bold as to ask?"
+
+"'Cos I've generally seen you drinking something out of a bottle," ses
+Ginger.
+
+"Now, look 'ere," ses Sam, starting up and spilling some of the hot cocoa
+over 'is lap.
+
+"A ginger-beer bottle," ses Peter Russet, making faces at Ginger to keep
+quiet.
+
+"Yes, o' course, that's wot I meant," ses Ginger.
+
+Old Sam wiped the cocoa off 'is knees without saying a word, but his
+weskit kept going up and down till Peter Russet felt quite sorry for 'im.
+
+"There's nothing like it," he ses to Mrs. Finch. "It was by sticking to
+ginger-beer and milk and such-like that Captain Small 'ad command of a
+ship afore 'e was twenty-five."
+
+"Lor'!" ses Mrs. Finch.
+
+She smiled at old Sam till Peter got uneasy agin, and began to think
+p'r'aps 'e'd been praising 'im too much.
+
+"Of course, I'm speaking of long ago now," he ses.
+
+"Years and years afore you was born, ma'am," ses Ginger.
+
+Old Sam was going to say something, but Mrs. Finch looked so pleased that
+'e thought better of it. Some o' the cocoa 'e was drinking went the
+wrong way, and then Ginger patted 'im on the back and told 'im to be
+careful not to bring on 'is brownchitis agin. Wot with temper and being
+afraid to speak for fear they should let Mrs. Finch know that 'e wasn't a
+captin, he could 'ardly bear 'imself, but he very near broke out when
+Peter Russet advised 'im to 'ave his weskit lined with red flannel. They
+all stayed on till closing time, and by the time they left they 'ad made
+theirselves so pleasant that Mrs. Finch said she'd be pleased to see them
+any time they liked to look in.
+
+Sam Small waited till they 'ad turned the corner, and then he broke out
+so alarming that they could 'ardly do anything with 'im. Twice policemen
+spoke to 'im and advised 'im to go home afore they altered their minds;
+and he 'ad to hold 'imself in and keep quiet while Ginger and Peter
+Russet took 'is arms and said they were seeing him 'ome.
+
+He started the row agin when they got in-doors, and sat up in 'is bed
+smacking 'is lips over the things he'd like to 'ave done to them if he
+could. And then, arter saying 'ow he'd like to see Ginger boiled alive
+like a lobster, he said he knew that 'e was a noble-'arted feller who
+wouldn't try and cut an old pal out, and that it was a case of love at
+first sight on top of a tram-car.
+
+"She's too young for you," ses Ginger; "and too good-looking besides."
+
+"It's the nice little bisness he's fallen in love with, Ginger," ses
+Peter Russet. "I'll toss you who 'as it."
+
+Ginger, who was siting on the foot o' Sam's bed, said "no" at fust, but
+arter a time he pulled out arf a dollar and spun it in the air.
+
+That was the last 'e see of it, although he 'ad Sam out o' bed and all
+the clothes stripped off of it twice. He spent over arf an hour on his
+'ands and knees looking for it, and Sam said when he was tired of playing
+bears p'r'aps he'd go to bed and get to sleep like a Christian.
+
+They 'ad it all over agin next morning, and at last, as nobody would
+agree to keep quiet and let the others 'ave a fair chance, they made up
+their minds to let the best man win. Ginger Dick bought a necktie that
+took all the colour out o' Sam's, and Peter Russet went in for a collar
+so big that 'e was lost in it.
+
+They all strolled into the widow's shop separate that night. Ginger Dick
+'ad smashed his pipe and wanted another; Peter Russet wanted some
+tobacco; and old Sam Small walked in smiling, with a little silver brooch
+for 'er, that he said 'e had picked up.
+
+It was a very nice brooch, and Mrs. Finch was so pleased with it that
+Ginger and Peter sat there as mad as they could be because they 'adn't
+thought of the same thing.
+
+"Captain Small is very lucky at finding things," ses Ginger, at last.
+
+"He's got the name for it," ses Peter Russet.
+
+"It's a handy 'abit," ses Ginger; "it saves spending money. Who did you
+give that gold bracelet to you picked up the other night, captin?" he
+ses, turning to Sam.
+
+"Gold bracelet?" ses Sam. "I didn't pick up no gold bracelet. Wot are
+you talking about?"
+
+"All right, captin; no offence," ses Ginger, holding up his 'and. "I
+dreamt I saw one on your mantelpiece, I s'pose. P'r'aps I oughtn't to
+ha' said anything about it."
+
+Old Sam looked as though he'd like to eat 'im, especially as he noticed
+Mrs. Finch listening and pretending not to. "Oh! that one," he ses,
+arter a bit o' hard thinking. "Oh! I found out who it belonged to. You
+wouldn't believe 'ow pleased they was at getting it back agin."
+
+Ginger Dick coughed and began to think as 'ow old Sam was sharper than he
+'ad given 'im credit for, but afore he could think of anything else to
+say Mrs. Finch looked at old Sam and began to talk about 'is ship, and to
+say 'ow much she should like to see over it.
+
+"I wish I could take you," ses Sam, looking at the other two out o' the
+corner of his eye, "but my ship's over at Dunkirk, in France. I've just
+run over to London for a week or two to look round."
+
+"And mine's there too," ses Peter Russet, speaking a'most afore old Sam
+'ad finished; "side by side they lay in the harbour."
+
+"Oh, dear," ses Mrs. Finch, folding her 'ands and shaking her 'cad. "I
+should like to go over a ship one arternoon. I'd quite made up my mind
+to it, knowing three captins."
+
+She smiled and looked at Ginger; and Sam and Peter looked at 'im too,
+wondering whether he was going to berth his ship at Dunkirk alongside o'
+theirs.
+
+"Ah, I wish I 'ad met you a fortnight ago," ses Ginger, very sad. "I
+gave up my ship, the High flyer, then, and I'm waiting for one my owners
+are 'aving built for me at New-castle. They said the High flyer wasn't
+big enough for me. She was a nice little ship, though. I believe I've
+got 'er picture somewhere about me!"
+
+He felt in 'is pocket and pulled out a little, crumpled-up photograph of
+a ship he'd been fireman aboard of some years afore, and showed it to
+'er.
+
+"That's me standing on the bridge," he ses, pointing out a little dot
+with the stem of 'is pipe.
+
+"It's your figger," ses Mrs. Finch, straining her eyes. "I should know
+it anywhere."
+
+"You've got wonderful eyes, ma'am," ses old Sam, choking with 'is pipe.
+
+"Anybody can see that," ses Ginger. "They're the largest and the bluest
+I've ever seen."
+
+Mrs. Finch told 'im not to talk nonsense, but both Sam and Peter Russet
+could see 'ow pleased she was.
+
+"Truth is truth," ses Ginger. "I'm a plain man, and I speak my mind."
+
+"Blue is my fav'rit' colour," ses old Sam, in a tender voice. "True
+blue."
+
+Peter Russet began to feel out of it. "I thought brown was," he ses.
+
+"Ho!" ses Sam, turning on 'im; "and why?"
+
+"I 'ad my reasons," ses Peter, nodding, and shutting 'is mouth very firm.
+
+"I thought brown was 'is fav'rit colour too," ses Ginger. "I don't know
+why. It's no use asking me; because if you did I couldn't tell you."
+
+"Brown's a very nice colour," ses Mrs. Finch, wondering wot was the
+matter with old Sam.
+
+"Blue," ses Ginger; "big blue eyes--they're the ones for me. Other
+people may 'ave their blacks and their browns," he ses, looking at Sam
+and Peter Russet, "but give me blue."
+
+They went on like that all the evening, and every time the shop-bell went
+and the widow 'ad to go out to serve a customer they said in w'ispers wot
+they thought of each other; and once when she came back rather sudden
+Ginger 'ad to explain to 'er that 'e was showing Peter Russet a scratch
+on his knuckle.
+
+Ginger Dick was the fust there next night, and took 'er a little chiney
+teapot he 'ad picked up dirt cheap because it was cracked right acrost
+the middle; but, as he explained that he 'ad dropped it in hurrying to
+see 'er, she was just as pleased. She stuck it up on the mantelpiece,
+and the things she said about Ginger's kindness and generosity made Peter
+Russet spend good money that he wanted for 'imself on a painted
+flower-pot next evening.
+
+With three men all courting 'er at the same time Mrs. Finch had 'er hands
+full, but she took to it wonderful considering. She was so nice and kind
+to 'em all that even arter a week's 'ard work none of 'em was really
+certain which she liked best.
+
+They took to going in at odd times o' the day for tobacco and such-like.
+They used to go alone then, but they all met and did the polite to each
+other there of an evening, and then quarrelled all the way 'ome.
+
+Then all of a sudden, without any warning, Ginger Dick and Peter Russet
+left off going there. The fust evening Sam sat expecting them every
+minute, and was so surprised that he couldn't take any advantage of it;
+but on the second, beginning by squeezing Mrs. Finch's 'and at ha'-past
+seven, he 'ad got best part of his arm round 'er waist by a quarter to
+ten. He didn't do more that night because she told him to be'ave
+'imself, and threatened to scream if he didn't leave off.
+
+He was arf-way home afore 'e thought of the reason for Ginger Dick and
+Peter Russet giving up, and then he went along smiling to 'imself to such
+an extent that people thought 'e was mad. He went off to sleep with the
+smile still on 'is lips, and when Peter and Ginger came in soon arter
+closing time and 'e woke up and asked them where they'd been, 'e was
+still smiling.
+
+"I didn't 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you at Mrs. Finch's to-night," he
+ses.
+
+"No," ses Ginger, very short. "We got tired of it."
+
+"So un'ealthy sitting in that stuffy little room every evening," ses
+Peter.
+
+Old Sam put his 'ead under the bedclothes and laughed till the bed shook;
+and every now and then he'd put his 'ead out and look at Peter and Ginger
+and laugh agin till he choked.
+
+"I see 'ow it is," he ses, sitting up and wiping his eyes on the sheet.
+"Well, we cant all win."
+
+"Wot d'ye mean?" ses Ginger, very disagreeable.
+
+"She wouldn't 'ave you, Sam, thats wot I mean. And I don't wonder at
+it. I wouldn't 'ave you if I was a gal."
+
+"You're dreaming, ses Peter Russet, sneering at 'im.
+
+"That flower-pot o' yours'll come in handy," ses Sam, thinking 'ow he 'ad
+put 'is arm round the widow's waist; "and I thank you kindly for the
+teapot, Ginger.
+
+"You don't mean to say as you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger,
+looking at Peter Russet.
+
+"Not quite; but I'm going to," ses Sam, "and I'll bet you even arf-crowns
+she ses 'yes.'"
+
+Ginger wouldn't take 'im, and no more would Peter, not even when he raised
+it to five shillings; and the vain way old Sam lay there boasting and
+talking about 'is way with the gals made 'em both feel ill.
+
+"I wouldn't 'ave her if she asked me on 'er bended knees," ses Ginger,
+holding up his 'ead.
+
+"Nor me," ses Peter. "You're welcome to 'er, Sam. When I think of the
+evenings I've wasted over a fat old woman I feel----"
+
+"That'll do," ses old Sam, very sharp; "that ain't the way to speak of a
+lady, even if she 'as said 'no.'"
+
+"All right, Sam," ses Ginger. "You go in and win if you think you're so
+precious clever."
+
+Old Sam said that that was wot 'e was going to do, and he spent so much
+time next morning making 'imself look pretty that the other two could
+'ardly be civil to him.
+
+He went off a'most direckly arter breakfast, and they didn't see 'im agin
+till twelve o'clock that night. He 'ad brought a bottle o' whisky in
+with 'im, and he was so 'appy that they see plain wot had 'appened.
+
+"She said 'yes' at two o'clock in the arternoon," ses old Sam, smiling,
+arter they had 'ad a glass apiece. "I'd nearly done the trick at one
+o'clock, and then the shop-bell went, and I 'ad to begin all over agin.
+Still, it wasn't unpleasant."
+
+"Do you mean to tell us you've asked 'er to marry you?" ses Ginger,
+'olding out 'is glass to be filled agin.
+
+"I do," ses Sam; "but I 'ope there's no ill-feeling. You never 'ad a
+chance, neither of you; she told me so."
+
+Ginger Dick and Peter Russet stared at each other.
+
+"She said she 'ad been in love with me all along," ses Sam, filling their
+glasses agin to cheer 'em up. "We went out arter tea and bought the
+engagement-ring, and then she got somebody to mind the shop and we went
+to the Pagoda music-'all."
+
+"I 'ope you didn't pay much for the ring, Sam," ses Ginger, who always
+got very kind-'arted arter two or three glasses o' whisky. "If I'd known
+you was going to be in such a hurry I might ha' told you before."
+
+"We ought to ha' done," ses Peter, shaking his 'ead.
+
+"Told me?" ses Sam, staring at 'em. "Told me wot?"
+
+"Why me and Peter gave it up," ses Ginger; "but, o' course, p'r'aps you
+don't mind."
+
+"Mind wot?" ses Sam.
+
+"It's wonderful 'ow quiet she kept it," ses Peter.
+
+Old Sam stared at 'em agin, and then he asked 'em to speak in plain
+English wot they'd got to say, and not to go taking away the character of
+a woman wot wasn't there to speak up for herself.
+
+"It's nothing agin 'er character," ses Ginger. "It's a credit to her,
+looked at properly," ses Peter Russet.
+
+"And Sam'll 'ave the pleasure of bringing of 'em up," ses Ginger.
+
+"Bringing of 'em up?" ses Sam, in a trembling voice and turning pale;
+"bringing who up?"
+
+"Why, 'er children," ses Ginger. "Didn't she tell you? She's got nine
+of 'em."
+
+Sam pretended not to believe 'em at fust, and said they was jealous; but
+next day he crept down to the greengrocer's shop in the same street,
+where Ginger had 'appened to buy some oranges one day, and found that it
+was only too true. Nine children, the eldest of 'em only fifteen, was
+staying with diff'rent relations owing to scarlet-fever next door.
+
+Old Sam crept back 'ome like a man in a dream, with a bag of oranges he
+didn't want, and, arter making a present of the engagement-ring to
+Ginger--if 'e could get it--he took the fust train to Tilbury and signed
+on for a v'y'ge to China.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Captains All, by W.W. Jacobs
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