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diff --git a/11183-0.txt b/11183-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b749ec4 --- /dev/null +++ b/11183-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,519 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11183 *** + +CAPTAINS ALL + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +THE NEST EGG + +[Illustration: "The Nest Egg."] + +"Artfulness," said the night-watch-man, smoking placidly, "is a gift; but +it don't pay always. I've met some artful ones in my time--plenty of +'em; but I can't truthfully say as 'ow any of them was the better for +meeting me." + +He rose slowly from the packing-case on which he had been sitting and, +stamping down the point of a rusty nail with his heel, resumed his seat, +remarking that he had endured it for some time under the impression that +it was only a splinter. + +"I've surprised more than one in my time," he continued, slowly. "When I +met one of these 'ere artful ones I used fust of all to pretend to be +more stupid than wot I really am." + +He stopped and stared fixedly. + +"More stupid than I looked," he said. He stopped again. + +"More stupid than wot they thought I looked," he said, speaking with +marked deliberation. And I'd let 'em go on and on until I thought I had +'ad about enough, and then turn round on 'em. Nobody ever got the better +o' me except my wife, and that was only before we was married. Two +nights arterwards she found a fish-hook in my trouser-pocket, and arter +that I could ha' left untold gold there--if I'd ha' had it. It spoilt +wot some people call the honey-moon, but it paid in the long run. + +One o' the worst things a man can do is to take up artfulness all of a +sudden. I never knew it to answer yet, and I can tell you of a case +that'll prove my words true. + +It's some years ago now, and the chap it 'appened to was a young man, a +shipmate o' mine, named Charlie Tagg. Very steady young chap he was, too +steady for most of 'em. That's 'ow it was me and 'im got to be such +pals. + +He'd been saving up for years to get married, and all the advice we could +give 'im didn't 'ave any effect. He saved up nearly every penny of 'is +money and gave it to his gal to keep for 'im, and the time I'm speaking +of she'd got seventy-two pounds of 'is and seventeen-and-six of 'er own +to set up house-keeping with. + +Then a thing happened that I've known to 'appen to sailormen afore. At +Sydney 'e got silly on another gal, and started walking out with her, and +afore he knew wot he was about he'd promised to marry 'er too. + +Sydney and London being a long way from each other was in 'is favour, but +the thing that troubled 'im was 'ow to get that seventy-two pounds out of +Emma Cook, 'is London gal, so as he could marry the other with it. It +worried 'im all the way home, and by the time we got into the London +river 'is head was all in a maze with it. Emma Cook 'ad got it all saved +up in the bank, to take a little shop with when they got spliced, and 'ow +to get it he could not think. + +He went straight off to Poplar, where she lived, as soon as the ship was +berthed. He walked all the way so as to 'ave more time for thinking, but +wot with bumping into two old gentlemen with bad tempers, and being +nearly run over by a cabman with a white 'orse and red whiskers, he got +to the house without 'aving thought of anything. + +They was just finishing their tea as 'e got there, and they all seemed so +pleased to see 'im that it made it worse than ever for 'im. Mrs. Cook, +who 'ad pretty near finished, gave 'im her own cup to drink out of, and +said that she 'ad dreamt of 'im the night afore last, and old Cook said +that he 'ad got so good-looking 'e shouldn't 'ave known him. + +"I should 'ave passed 'im in the street," he ses. "I never see such an +alteration." + +"They'll be a nice-looking couple," ses his wife, looking at a young +chap, named George Smith, that 'ad been sitting next to Emma. + +Charlie Tagg filled 'is mouth with bread and butter, and wondered 'ow he +was to begin. He squeezed Emma's 'and just for the sake of keeping up +appearances, and all the time 'e was thinking of the other gal waiting +for 'im thousands o' miles away. + +"You've come 'ome just in the nick o' time," ses old Cook; "if you'd done +it o' purpose you couldn't 'ave arranged it better." + +"Somebody's birthday?" ses Charlie, trying to smile. + +Old Cook shook his 'ead. "Though mine is next Wednesday," he ses, "and +thank you for thinking of it. No; you're just in time for the biggest +bargain in the chandlery line that anybody ever 'ad a chance of. If you +'adn't ha' come back we should have 'ad to ha' done it without you." + +"Eighty pounds," ses Mrs. Cook, smiling at Charlie. "With the money +Emma's got saved and your wages this trip you'll 'ave plenty. You must +come round arter tea and 'ave a look at it." + +"Little place not arf a mile from 'ere," ses old Cook. "Properly worked +up, the way Emma'll do it, it'll be a little fortune. I wish I'd had a +chance like it in my young time." + +He sat shaking his 'ead to think wot he'd lost, and Charlie Tagg sat +staring at 'im and wondering wot he was to do. + +"My idea is for Charlie to go for a few more v'y'ges arter they're +married while Emma works up the business," ses Mrs. Cook; "she'll be all +right with young Bill and Sarah Ann to 'elp her and keep 'er company +while he's away." + +"We'll see as she ain't lonely," ses George Smith, turning to Charlie. + +Charlie Tagg gave a bit of a cough and said it wanted considering. He +said it was no good doing things in a 'urry and then repenting of 'em all +the rest of your life. And 'e said he'd been given to understand that +chandlery wasn't wot it 'ad been, and some of the cleverest people 'e +knew thought that it would be worse before it was better. By the time +he'd finished they was all looking at 'im as though they couldn't believe +their ears. + +"You just step round and 'ave a look at the place," ses old Cook; "if +that don't make you alter your tune, call me a sinner." + +Charlie Tagg felt as though 'e could ha' called 'im a lot o' worse things +than that, but he took up 'is hat and Mrs. Cook and Emma got their +bonnets on and they went round. + +"I don't think much of it for eighty pounds," ses Charlie, beginning his +artfulness as they came near a big shop, with plate-glass and a double +front. + +"Eh?" ses old Cook, staring at 'im. "Why, that ain't the place. Why, +you wouldn't get that for eight 'undred." + +"Well, I don't think much of it," ses Charlie; "if it's worse than that I +can't look at it--I can't, indeed." + +"You ain't been drinking, Charlie?" ses old Cook, in a puzzled voice. + +"Certainly not," ses Charlie. + +He was pleased to see 'ow anxious they all looked, and when they did come +to the shop 'e set up a laugh that old Cook said chilled the marrer in +'is bones. He stood looking in a 'elpless sort o' way at his wife and +Emma, and then at last he ses, "There it is; and a fair bargain at the +price." + +"I s'pose you ain't been drinking?" ses Charlie. + +"Wot's the matter with it?" ses Mrs. Cook flaring up. + +"Come inside and look at it," ses Emma, taking 'old of his arm. + +"Not me," ses Charlie, hanging back. "Why, I wouldn't take it at a +gift." + +He stood there on the kerbstone, and all they could do 'e wouldn't budge. +He said it was a bad road and a little shop, and 'ad got a look about it +he didn't like. They walked back 'ome like a funeral procession, and +Emma 'ad to keep saying "_H's!_" in w'ispers to 'er mother all the way. + +[Illustration: "He said it was a had road and a little shop, and 'ad got +a look about it he didn't like."] + +"I don't know wot Charlie does want, I'm sure," ses Mrs. Cook, taking off +'er bonnet as soon as she got indoors and pitching it on the chair he was +just going to set down on. + +"It's so awk'ard," ses old Cook, rubbing his 'cad. "Fact is, Charlie, we +pretty near gave 'em to understand as we'd buy it." + +"It's as good as settled," ses Mrs. Cook, trembling all over with temper. + +"They won't settle till they get the money," ses Charlie. "You may make +your mind easy about that." + +"Emma's drawn it all out of the bank ready," ses old Cook, eager like. + +Charlie felt 'ot and cold all over. "I'd better take care of it," he +ses, in a trembling voice. "You might be robbed." + +"So might you be," ses Mrs. Cook. "Don't you worry; it's in a safe +place." + +"Sailormen are always being robbed," ses George Smith, who 'ad been +helping young Bill with 'is sums while they 'ad gone to look at the shop. +"There's more sailormen robbed than all the rest put together." + +"They won't rob Charlie," ses Mrs. Cook, pressing 'er lips together. +"I'll take care o' that." + +Charlie tried to laugh, but 'e made such a queer noise that young Bill +made a large blot on 'is exercise-book, and old Cook, wot was lighting +his pipe, burnt 'is fingers through not looking wot 'e was doing. + +"You see," ses Charlie, "if I was robbed, which ain't at all likely, it +'ud only be me losing my own money; but if you was robbed of it you'd +never forgive yourselves." + +"I dessay I should get over it," ses Mrs. Cook, sniffing. "I'd 'ave a +try, at all events." + +Charlie started to laugh agin, and old Cook, who had struck another +match, blew it out and waited till he'd finished. + +"The whole truth is," ses Charlie, looking round, "I've got something +better to do with the money. I've got a chance offered me that'll make +me able to double it afore you know where you are." + +"Not afore I know where I am," ses Mrs. Cook, with a laugh that was worse +than Charlie's. + +"The chance of a lifetime," ses Charlie, trying to keep 'is temper. "I +can't tell you wot it is, because I've promised to keep it secret for a +time. You'll be surprised when I do tell you." + +"If I wait till then till I'm surprised," ses Mrs. Cook, "I shall 'ave to +wait a long time. My advice to you is to take that shop and ha' done +with it." + +Charlie sat there arguing all the evening, but it was no good, and the +idea o' them people sitting there and refusing to let 'im have his own +money pretty near sent 'im crazy. It was all 'e could do to kiss Emma +good-night, and 'e couldn't have 'elped slamming the front door if he'd +been paid for it. The only comfort he 'ad got left was the Sydney gal's +photygraph, and he took that out and looked at it under nearly every +lamp-post he passed. + +He went round the next night and 'ad an-other try to get 'is money, but +it was no use; and all the good he done was to make Mrs. Cook in such a +temper that she 'ad to go to bed before he 'ad arf finished. It was no +good talking to old Cook and Emma, because they daren't do anything +without 'er, and it was no good calling things up the stairs to her +because she didn't answer. Three nights running Mrs. Cook went off to +bed afore eight o'clock, for fear she should say something to 'im as +she'd be sorry for arterwards; and for three nights Charlie made 'imself +so disagreeable that Emma told 'im plain the sooner 'e went back to sea +agin the better she should like it. The only one who seemed to enjoy it +was George Smith, and 'e used to bring bits out o' newspapers and read to +'em, showing 'ow silly people was done out of their money. + +On the fourth night Charlie dropped it and made 'imself so amiable that +Mrs. Cook stayed up and made 'im a Welsh rare-bit for 'is supper, and +made 'im drink two glasses o' beer instead o' one, while old Cook sat and +drank three glasses o' water just out of temper, and to show that 'e +didn't mind. When she started on the chandler's shop agin Charlie said +he'd think it over, and when 'e went away Mrs. Cook called 'im her +sailor-boy and wished 'im pleasant dreams. + +But Charlie Tagg 'ad got better things to do than to dream, and 'e sat up +in bed arf the night thinking out a new plan he'd thought of to get that +money. When 'e did fall asleep at last 'e dreamt of taking a little farm +in Australia and riding about on 'orseback with the Sydney gal watching +his men at work. + +In the morning he went and hunted up a shipmate of 'is, a young feller +named Jack Bates. Jack was one o' these 'ere chaps, nobody's enemy but +their own, as the saying is; a good-'arted, free-'anded chap as you could +wish to see. Everybody liked 'im, and the ship's cat loved 'im. He'd +ha' sold the shirt off 'is back to oblige a pal, and three times in one +week he got 'is face scratched for trying to prevent 'usbands knocking +their wives about. + +Charlie Tagg went to 'im because he was the only man 'e could trust, and +for over arf an hour he was telling Jack Bates all 'is troubles, and at +last, as a great favour, he let 'im see the Sydney gal's photygraph, and +told him that all that pore gal's future 'appiness depended upon 'im. + +"I'll step round to-night and rob 'em of that seventy-two pounds," ses +Jack; "it's your money, and you've a right to it." + +Charlie shook his 'ead. "That wouldn't do," he ses; "besides, I don't +know where they keep it. No; I've got a better plan than that. Come +round to the Crooked Billet, so as we can talk it over in peace and +quiet." + +He stood Jack three or four arf-pints afore 'e told 'im his plan, and +Jack was so pleased with it that he wanted to start at once, but Charlie +persuaded 'im to wait. + +"And don't you spare me, mind, out o' friendship," ses Charlie, "because +the blacker you paint me the better I shall like it." + +"You trust me, mate," ses Jack Bates; "if I don't get that seventy-two +pounds for you, you may call me a Dutchman. Why, it's fair robbery, I +call it, sticking to your money like that." + +They spent the rest o' the day together, and when evening came Charlie +went off to the Cooks'. Emma 'ad arf expected they was going to a +theayter that night, but Charlie said he wasn't feeling the thing, and he +sat there so quiet and miserable they didn't know wot to make of 'im. + +"'Ave you got any trouble on your mind, Charlie," ses Mrs. Cook, "or is +it the tooth-ache?" + +"It ain't the toothache," ses Charlie. + +He sat there pulling a long face and staring at the floor, but all Mrs. +Cook and Emma could do 'e wouldn't tell them wot was the matter with 'im. +He said 'e didn't want to worry other people with 'is troubles; let +everybody bear their own, that was 'is motto. Even when George Smith +offered to go to the theayter with Emma instead of 'im he didn't fire up, +and, if it 'adn't ha' been for Mrs. Cook, George wouldn't ha' been sorry +that 'e spoke. + +"Theayters ain't for me," ses Charlie, with a groan. "I'm more likely to +go to gaol, so far as I can see, than a theayter." + +Mrs. Cook and Emma both screamed and Sarah Ann did 'er first +highstericks, and very well, too, considering that she 'ad only just +turned fifteen. + +"Gaol!" ses old Cook, as soon as they 'ad quieted Sarah Ann with a bowl +o' cold water that young Bill 'ad the presence o' mind to go and fetch. +"Gaol! What for?" + +"You wouldn't believe if I was to tell you." ses Charlie, getting up to +go, "and besides, I don't want any of you to think as 'ow I am worse than +wot I am." + +He shook his 'cad at them sorrowful-like, and afore they could stop 'im +he 'ad gone. Old Cook shouted arter 'im, but it was no use, and the +others was running into the scullery to fill the bowl agin for Emma. + +Mrs. Cook went round to 'is lodgings next morning, but found that 'e was +out. They began to fancy all sorts o' things then, but Charlie turned up +agin that evening more miserable than ever. + +"I went round to see you this morning," ses Mrs. Cook, "but you wasn't at +'ome." + +"I never am, 'ardly," ses Charlie. "I can't be--it ain't safe." + +"Why not?" ses Mrs. Cook, fidgeting. + +"If I was to tell you, you'd lose your good opinion of me," ses Charlie. + +"It wouldn't be much to lose," ses Mrs. Cook, firing up. + +Charlie didn't answer 'er. When he did speak he spoke to the old man, +and he was so down-'arted that 'e gave 'im the chills a'most, He 'ardly +took any notice of Emma, and, when Mrs. Cook spoke about the shop agin, +said that chandlers' shops was for happy people, not for 'im. + +By the time they sat down to supper they was nearly all as miserable as +Charlie 'imself. From words he let drop they all seemed to 'ave the idea +that the police was arter 'im, and Mrs. Cook was just asking 'im for wot +she called the third and last time, but wot was more likely the hundred +and third, wot he'd done, when there was a knock at the front door, so +loud and so sudden that old Cook and young Bill both cut their mouths at +the same time. + +"Anybody 'ere o' the name of Emma Cook?" ses a man's voice, when young +Bill opened the door. + +"She's inside," ses the boy, and the next moment Jack Bates followed 'im +into the room, and then fell back with a start as 'e saw Charlie Tagg. + +"Ho, 'ere you are, are you?" he ses, looking at 'im very black. +"Wot's the matter?" ses Mrs. Cook, very sharp. + +"I didn't expect to 'ave the pleasure o' seeing you 'ere, my lad," ses +Jack, still staring at Charlie, and twisting 'is face up into awful +scowls. "Which is Emma Cook?" + +"Miss Cook is my name," ses Emma, very sharp. "Wot d'ye want?" + +"Very good," ses Jack Bates, looking at Charlie agin; "then p'r'aps +you'll do me the kindness of telling that lie o' yours agin afore this +young lady." + +"It's the truth," ses Charlie, looking down at 'is plate. + +"If somebody don't tell me wot all this is about in two minutes, I shall +do something desprit," ses Mrs. Cook, getting up. + +"This 'ere--er--man," ses Jack Bates, pointing at Charlie, "owes me +seventy-five pounds and won't pay. When I ask 'im for it he ses a party +he's keeping company with, by the name of Emma Cook, 'as got it, and he +can't get it." + +"So she has," ses Charlie, without looking up. + +"Wot does 'e owe you the money for?" ses Mrs. Cook. + +"'Cos I lent it to 'im," ses Jack. + +"Lent it? What for?" ses Mrs. Cook. + +"'Cos I was a fool, I s'pose," ses jack Bates; "a good-natured fool. +Anyway, I'm sick and tired of asking for it, and if I don't get it +to-night I'm going to see the police about it." + +He sat down on a chair with 'is hat cocked over one eye, and they all sat +staring at 'im as though they didn't know wot to say next. + +"So this is wot you meant when you said you'd got the chance of a +lifetime, is it?" ses Mrs. Cook to Charlie. "This is wot you wanted it +for, is it? Wot did you borrow all that money for?" + +"Spend," ses Charlie, in a sulky voice. + +"Spend!" ses Mrs. Cook, with a scream; "wot in?" + +"Drink and cards mostly," ses Jack Bates, remembering wot Charlie 'ad +told 'im about blackening 'is character. + +You might ha' heard a pin drop a'most, and Charlie sat there without +saying a word. + +"Charlie's been led away," ses Mrs. Cook, looking 'ard at Jack Bates. "I +s'pose you lent 'im the money to win it back from 'im at cards, didn't +you?" + +"And gave 'im too much licker fust," ses old Cook. "I've 'eard of your +kind. If Charlie takes my advice 'e won't pay you a farthing. I should +let you do your worst if I was 'im; that's wot I should do. You've got a +low face; a nasty, ugly, low face." + +"One o' the worst I ever see," ses Mrs. Cook. "It looks as though it +might ha' been cut out o' the Police News." + +"'Owever could you ha' trusted a man with a face like that, Charlie?" ses +old Cook. "Come away from 'im, Bill; I don't like such a chap in the +room." + +Jack Bates began to feel very awk'ard. They was all glaring at 'im as +though they could eat 'im, and he wasn't used to such treatment. And, as +a matter o' fact, he'd got a very good-'arted face. + +"You go out o' that door," ses old Cook, pointing to it. "Go and do your +worst. You won't get any money 'ere." + +"Stop a minute," ses Emma, and afore they could stop 'er she ran +upstairs. Mrs. Cook went arter 'er and 'igh words was heard up in the +bedroom, but by-and-by Emma came down holding her head very 'igh and +looking at Jack Bates as though he was dirt. + +"How am I to know Charlie owes you this money?" she ses. + +Jack Bates turned very red, and arter fumbling in 'is pockets took out +about a dozen dirty bits o' paper, which Charlie 'ad given 'im for +I O U's. Emma read 'em all, and then she threw a little parcel on the +table. + +"There's your money," she ses; "take it and go." + +Mrs. Cook and 'er father began to call out, but it was no good. + +"There's seventy-two pounds there," ses Emma, who was very pale; "and +'ere's a ring you can have to 'elp make up the rest." And she drew +Charlie's ring off and throwed it on the table. "I've done with 'im for +good," she ses, with a look at 'er mother. + +Jack Bates took up the money and the ring and stood there looking at 'er +and trying to think wot to say. He'd always been uncommon partial to the +sex, and it did seem 'ard to stand there and take all that on account of +Charlie Tagg. + +"I only wanted my own," he ses, at last, shuffling about the floor. + +"Well, you've got it," ses Mrs. Cook, "and now you can go." + +"You're pi'soning the air of my front parlour," ses old Cook, opening the +winder a little at the top. + +"P'r'aps I ain't so bad as you think I am," ses Jack Bates, still looking +at Emma, and with that 'e walked over to Charlie and dumped down the +money on the table in front of 'im. "Take it," he ses, "and don't borrow +any more. I make you a free gift of it. P'r'aps my 'art ain't as black +as my face," he ses, turning to Mrs. Cook. + +They was all so surprised at fust that they couldn't speak, but old Cook +smiled at 'im and put the winder up agin. And Charlie Tagg sat there arf +mad with temper, locking as though 'e could eat Jack Bates without any +salt, as the saying is. + +"I--I can't take it," he ses at last, with a stammer. + +"Can't take it? Why not?" ses old Cook, staring. "This gentleman 'as +given it to you." "A free gift," ses Mrs. Cook, smiling at Jack +very sweet. + +"I can't take it," ses Charlie, winking at Jack to take the money up and +give it to 'im quiet, as arranged. "I 'ave my pride." + +"So 'ave I," ses Jack. "Are you going to take it?" + +Charlie gave another look. "No," he ses, "I cant take a favour. I +borrowed the money and I'll pay it back. + +"Very good," ses Jack, taking it up. "It's my money, ain't it?" + +"Yes," ses Charlie, taking no notice of Mrs. Cook and 'er husband, wot +was both talking to 'im at once, and trying to persuade 'im to alter his +mind. + +"Then I give it to Miss Emma Cook," ses Jack Bates, putting it into her +hands. "Good-night everybody and good luck." + +He slammed the front door behind 'im and they 'eard 'im go off down the +road as if 'e was going for fire-engines. Charlie sat there for a moment +struck all of a heap, and then 'e jumped up and dashed arter 'im. He +just saw 'im disappearing round a corner, and he didn't see 'im agin for +a couple o' year arterwards, by which time the Sydney gal had 'ad three +or four young men arter 'im, and Emma, who 'ad changed her name to Smith, +was doing one o' the best businesses in the chandlery line in Poplar. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Nest Egg, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11183 *** |