initial commit of ebook 12201HEADmain

1 files changed, 539 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/12201-0.txt b/12201-0.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2c2016d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/12201-0.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,539 @@
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12201 ***
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+BY
+
+W. W.  JACOBS
+
+1909
+
+
+
+
+THE MONEY-BOX
+
+Sailormen are not good 'ands at saving money as a rule, said the
+night-watchman, as he wistfully toyed with a bad shilling on his
+watch-chain, though to 'ear 'em talk of saving when they're at sea
+and there isn't a pub within a thousand miles of 'em, you might think
+different.
+
+[Illustration: "Sailormen are not good 'ands at saving money as a rule."]
+
+It ain't for the want of trying either with some of 'em, and I've known
+men do all sorts o' things as soon as they was paid off, with a view to
+saving.  I knew one man as used to keep all but a shilling or two in a
+belt next to 'is skin so that he couldn't get at it easy, but it was all
+no good.  He was always running short in the most inconvenient places.
+I've seen 'im wriggle for five minutes right off, with a tramcar
+conductor standing over 'im and the other people in the tram reading
+their papers with one eye and watching him with the other.
+
+Ginger Dick and Peter Russet--two men I've spoke of to you afore--tried
+to save their money once.  They'd got so sick and tired of spending it
+all in p'r'aps a week or ten days arter coming ashore, and 'aving to go
+to sea agin sooner than they 'ad intended, that they determined some way
+or other to 'ave things different.
+
+They was homeward bound on a steamer from Melbourne when they made their
+minds up; and Isaac Lunn, the oldest fireman aboard--a very steady old
+teetotaler--gave them a lot of good advice about it.  They all wanted to
+rejoin the ship when she sailed agin, and 'e offered to take a room
+ashore with them and mind their money, giving 'em what 'e called a
+moderate amount each day.
+
+They would ha' laughed at any other man, but they knew that old Isaac was
+as honest as could be and that their money would be safe with 'im, and at
+last, after a lot of palaver, they wrote out a paper saying as they were
+willing for 'im to 'ave their money and give it to 'em bit by bit, till
+they went to sea agin.
+
+Anybody but Ginger Dick and Peter Russet or a fool would ha' known better
+than to do such a thing, but old Isaac 'ad got such a oily tongue and
+seemed so fair-minded about wot 'e called moderate drinking that they
+never thought wot they was letting themselves in for, and when they took
+their pay--close on sixteen pounds each--they put the odd change in their
+pockets and 'anded the rest over to him.
+
+The first day they was as pleased as Punch.  Old Isaac got a nice,
+respectable bedroom for them all, and arter they'd 'ad a few drinks they
+humoured 'im by 'aving a nice 'ot cup o' tea, and then goin' off with 'im
+to see a magic-lantern performance.
+
+It was called "The Drunkard's Downfall," and it begun with a young man
+going into a nice-looking pub and being served by a nice-looking barmaid
+with a glass of ale.  Then it got on to 'arf pints and pints in the next
+picture, and arter Ginger 'ad seen the lost young man put away six pints
+in about 'arf a minute, 'e got such a raging thirst on 'im that 'e
+couldn't sit still, and 'e whispered to Peter Russet to go out with 'im.
+
+"You'll lose the best of it if you go now," ses old Isaac, in a whisper;
+"in the next picture there's little frogs and devils sitting on the edge
+of the pot as 'e goes to drink."
+
+"Ginger Dick got up and nodded to Peter."
+
+"Arter that 'e kills 'is mother with a razor," ses old Isaac, pleading
+with 'im and 'olding on to 'is coat.
+
+Ginger Dick sat down agin, and when the murder was over 'e said it made
+'im feel faint, and 'im and Peter Russet went out for a breath of fresh
+air.  They 'ad three at the first place, and then they moved on to
+another and forgot all about Isaac and the dissolving views until ten
+o'clock, when Ginger, who 'ad been very liberal to some friends 'e'd made
+in a pub, found 'e'd spent 'is last penny.
+
+"This comes o' listening to a parcel o' teetotalers," 'e ses, very cross,
+when 'e found that Peter 'ad spent all 'is money too.  "Here we are just
+beginning the evening and not a farthing in our pockets."
+
+They went off 'ome in a very bad temper.  Old Isaac was asleep in 'is
+bed, and when they woke 'im up and said that they was going to take
+charge of their money themselves 'e kept dropping off to sleep agin and
+snoring that 'ard they could scarcely hear themselves speak.  Then Peter
+tipped Ginger a wink and pointed to Isaac's trousers, which were 'anging
+over the foot of the bed.
+
+Ginger Dick smiled and took 'em up softly, and Peter Russet smiled too;
+but 'e wasn't best pleased to see old Isaac a-smiling in 'is sleep, as
+though 'e was 'aving amusing dreams.  All Ginger found was a ha'-penny, a
+bunch o' keys, and a cough lozenge.  In the coat and waistcoat 'e found a
+few tracks folded up, a broken pen-knife, a ball of string, and some
+other rubbish.  Then 'e set down on the foot o' their bed and made eyes
+over at Peter.
+
+"Wake 'im up agin," ses Peter, in a temper.
+
+Ginger Dick got up and, leaning over the bed, took old Isaac by the
+shoulders and shook 'im as if 'e'd been a bottle o' medicine.
+
+"Time to get up, lads?"  ses old Isaac, putting one leg out o' bed.
+
+"No, it ain't," ses Ginger, very rough; "we ain't been to bed yet.  We
+want our money back."
+
+Isaac drew 'is leg back into bed agin.  "Goo' night," he ses, and fell
+fast asleep.
+
+"He's shamming, that's wot 'e is," ses Peter Russet.  "Let's look for it.
+It must be in the room somewhere."
+
+They turned the room upside down pretty near, and then Ginger Dick struck
+a match and looked up the chimney, but all 'e found was that it 'adn't
+been swept for about twenty years, and wot with temper and soot 'e looked
+so frightful that Peter was arf afraid of 'im.
+
+"I've 'ad enough of this," ses Ginger, running up to the bed and 'olding
+his sooty fist under old Isaac's nose.  "Now, then, where's that money?
+If you don't give us our money, our 'ard-earned money, inside o' two
+minutes, I'll break every bone in your body."
+
+"This is wot comes o' trying to do you a favour, Ginger," ses the old
+man, reproachfully.
+
+"Don't talk to me," ses Ginger, "cos I won't have it.  Come on; where is
+it?"
+
+Old Isaac looked at 'im, and then he gave a sigh and got up and put on
+'is boots and 'is trousers.
+
+"I thought I should 'ave a little trouble with you," he ses, slowly, "but
+I was prepared for that."
+
+"You'll 'ave more if you don't hurry up," ses Ginger, glaring at 'im.
+
+"We don't want to 'urt you, Isaac," ses Peter Russet, "we on'y want our
+money."
+
+"I know that," ses Isaac; "you keep still, Peter, and see fair-play, and
+I'll knock you silly arterwards."
+
+He pushed some o' the things into a corner and then 'e spat on 'is 'ands,
+and began to prance up and down, and duck 'is 'ead about and hit the air
+in a way that surprised 'em.
+
+"I ain't hit a man for five years," 'e ses, still dancing up and down--
+"fighting's sinful except in a good cause--but afore I got a new 'art,
+Ginger, I'd lick three men like you afore breakfast, just to git up a
+appetite."
+
+[Illustration: "I ain't hit a man for five years," 'e ses, still dancing
+up and down."]
+
+"Look, 'ere," ses Ginger; "you're an old man and I don't want to 'urt
+you; tell us where our money is, our 'ard-earned money, and I won't lay a
+finger on you."
+
+"I'm taking care of it for you," ses the old man.
+
+Ginger Dick gave a howl and rushed at him, and the next moment Isaac's
+fist shot out and give 'im a drive that sent 'im spinning across the room
+until 'e fell in a heap in the fireplace.  It was like a kick from a
+'orse, and Peter looked very serious as 'e picked 'im up and dusted 'im
+down.
+
+"You should keep your eye on 'is fist," he ses, sharply.
+
+It was a silly thing to say, seeing that that was just wot 'ad 'appened,
+and Ginger told 'im wot 'e'd do for 'im when 'e'd finished with Isaac.
+He went at the old man agin, but 'e never 'ad a chance, and in about
+three minutes 'e was very glad to let Peter 'elp 'im into bed.
+
+"It's your turn to fight him now, Peter," he ses.  "Just move this piller
+so as I can see."
+
+"Come on, lad," ses the old man.
+
+Peter shook 'is 'ead.  "I have no wish to 'urt you, Isaac," he ses,
+kindly; "excitement like fighting is dangerous for an old man.  Give us
+our money and we'll say no more about it."
+
+"No, my lads," ses Isaac.  "I've undertook to take charge o' this money
+and I'm going to do it; and I 'ope that when we all sign on aboard the
+Planet there'll be a matter o' twelve pounds each left.  Now, I don't
+want to be 'arsh with you, but I'm going back to bed, and if I 'ave to
+get up and dress agin you'll wish yourselves dead."
+
+He went back to bed agin, and Peter, taking no notice of Ginger Dick, who
+kept calling 'im a coward, got into bed alongside of Ginger and fell fast
+asleep.
+
+They all 'ad breakfast in a coffee-shop next morning, and arter it was
+over Ginger, who 'adn't spoke a word till then, said that 'e and Peter
+Russet wanted a little money to go on with.  He said they preferred to
+get their meals alone, as Isaac's face took their appetite away.
+
+"Very good," ses the old man.  "I don't want to force my company on
+nobody," and after thinking 'ard for a minute or two he put 'is 'and in
+'is trouser-pocket and gave them eighteen-pence each.
+
+[Illustration: "'Wot's this for?' ses Ginger."]
+
+"Wot's this for?"  ses Ginger, staring at the money.  "Matches?"
+
+"That's your day's allowance," ses Isaac, "and it's plenty.  There's
+ninepence for your dinner, fourpence for your tea, and twopence for a
+crust o' bread and cheese for supper.  And if you must go and drown
+yourselves in beer, that leaves threepence each to go and do it with."
+
+Ginger tried to speak to 'im, but 'is feelings was too much for 'im, and
+'e couldn't.  Then Peter Russet swallered something 'e was going to say
+and asked old Isaac very perlite to make it a quid for 'im because he was
+going down to Colchester to see 'is mother, and 'e didn't want to go
+empty-'anded.
+
+"You're a good son, Peter," ses old Isaac, "and I wish there was more
+like you.  I'll come down with you, if you like; I've got nothing to do."
+
+Peter said it was very kind of 'im, but 'e'd sooner go alone, owing to
+his mother being very shy afore strangers.
+
+"Well, I'll come down to the station and take a ticket for you," ses
+Isaac.
+
+Then Peter lost 'is temper altogether, and banged 'is fist on the table
+and smashed 'arf the crockery.  He asked Isaac whether 'e thought 'im and
+Ginger Dick was a couple o' children, and 'e said if 'e didn't give 'em
+all their money right away 'e'd give 'im in charge to the first policeman
+they met.
+
+"I'm afraid you didn't intend for to go and see your mother, Peter," ses
+the old man.
+
+"Look 'ere," ses Peter, "are you going to give us that money?"
+
+"Not if you went down on your bended knees," ses the old man.
+
+"Very good," says Peter, getting up and walking outside; "then come along
+o' me to find a police-man."
+
+"I'm agreeable," ses Isaac, "but I've got the paper you signed."
+
+Peter said 'e didn't care twopence if 'e'd got fifty papers, and they
+walked along looking for a police-man, which was a very unusual thing for
+them to do.
+
+"I 'ope for your sakes it won't be the same police-man that you and
+Ginger Dick set on in Gun Alley the night afore you shipped on the
+Planet," ses Isaac, pursing up 'is lips.
+
+"'Tain't likely to be," ses Peter, beginning to wish 'e 'adn't been so
+free with 'is tongue.
+
+"Still, if I tell 'im, I dessay he'll soon find 'im," ses Isaac; "there's
+one coming along now, Peter; shall I stop 'im?"
+
+Peter Russet looked at 'im and then he looked at Ginger, and they walked
+by grinding their teeth.  They stuck to Isaac all day, trying to get
+their money out of 'im, and the names they called 'im was a surprise even
+to themselves.  And at night they turned the room topsy-turvy agin
+looking for their money and 'ad more unpleasantness when they wanted
+Isaac to get up and let 'em search the bed.
+
+They 'ad breakfast together agin next morning and Ginger tried another
+tack.  He spoke quite nice to Isaac, and 'ad three large cups o' tea to
+show 'im 'ow 'e was beginning to like it, and when the old man gave 'em
+their eighteen-pences 'e smiled and said 'e'd like a few shillings extra
+that day.
+
+"It'll be all right, Isaac," he ses.  "I wouldn't 'ave a drink if you
+asked me to.  Don't seem to care for it now.  I was saying so to you on'y
+last night, wasn't I, Peter?"
+
+"You was," ses Peter; "so was I."
+
+"Then I've done you good, Ginger," ses Isaac, clapping 'im on the back.
+
+"You 'ave," ses Ginger, speaking between his teeth, "and I thank you for
+it.  I don't want drink; but I thought o' going to a music-'all this
+evening."
+
+"Going to wot?" ses old Isaac, drawing 'imself up and looking very
+shocked.
+
+"A music-'all," ses Ginger, trying to keep 'is temper.
+
+"A music-'all," ses Isaac; "why, it's worse than a pub, Ginger.  I should
+be a very poor friend o' yours if I let you go there--I couldn't think of
+it."
+
+"Wot's it got to do with you, you gray-whiskered serpent?"  screams
+Ginger, arf mad with rage.  "Why don't you leave us alone?  Why don't you
+mind your own business?  It's our money."
+
+Isaac tried to talk to 'im, but 'e wouldn't listen, and he made such a
+fuss that at last the coffee-shop keeper told 'im to go outside.  Peter
+follered 'im out, and being very upset they went and spent their day's
+allowance in the first hour, and then they walked about the streets
+quarrelling as to the death they'd like old Isaac to 'ave when 'is time
+came.
+
+They went back to their lodgings at dinner-time; but there was no sign of
+the old man, and, being 'ungry and thirsty, they took all their spare
+clothes to a pawnbroker and got enough money to go on with.  Just to show
+their independence they went to two music-'ails, and with a sort of idea
+that they was doing Isaac a bad turn they spent every farthing afore they
+got 'ome, and sat up in bed telling 'im about the spree they'd 'ad.
+
+At five o'clock in the morning Peter woke up and saw, to 'is surprise,
+that Ginger Dick was dressed and carefully folding up old Isaac's
+clothes.  At first 'e thought that Ginger 'ad gone mad, taking care of
+the old man's things like that, but afore 'e could speak Ginger noticed
+that 'e was awake, and stepped over to 'im and whispered to 'im to dress
+without making a noise.  Peter did as 'e was told, and, more puzzled than
+ever, saw Ginger make up all the old man's clothes in a bundle and creep
+out of the room on tiptoe.
+
+"Going to 'ide 'is clothes?" 'e ses.
+
+"Yes," ses Ginger, leading the way downstairs; "in a pawnshop.  We'll
+make the old man pay for to-day's amusements."
+
+Then Peter see the joke and 'e begun to laugh so 'ard that Ginger 'ad to
+threaten to knock 'is head off to quiet 'im.  Ginger laughed 'imself when
+they got outside, and at last, arter walking about till the shops opened,
+they got into a pawnbroker's and put old Isaac's clothes up for fifteen
+shillings.
+
+[Illustration: "They put old Isaac's clothes up for fifteen shillings."]
+
+First thing they did was to 'ave a good breakfast, and after that they
+came out smiling all over and began to spend a 'appy day.  Ginger was in
+tip-top spirits and so was Peter, and the idea that old Isaac was in bed
+while they was drinking 'is clothes pleased them more than anything.
+Twice that evening policemen spoke to Ginger for dancing on the pavement,
+and by the time the money was spent it took Peter all 'is time to get 'im
+'ome.
+
+Old Isaac was in bed when they got there, and the temper 'e was in was
+shocking; but Ginger sat on 'is bed and smiled at 'im as if 'e was saying
+compliments to 'im.
+
+"Where's my clothes?"  ses the old man, shaking 'is fist at the two of
+'em.
+
+Ginger smiled at 'im; then 'e shut 'is eyes and dropped off to sleep.
+
+"Where's my clothes?" ses Isaac, turning to Peter.  "Closhe?" ses Peter,
+staring at 'im.
+
+"Where are they?"  ses Isaac.
+
+It was a long time afore Peter could understand wot 'e meant, but as soon
+as 'e did 'e started to look for 'em.  Drink takes people in different
+ways, and the way it always took Peter was to make 'im one o' the most
+obliging men that ever lived.  He spent arf the night crawling about on
+all fours looking for the clothes, and four or five times old Isaac woke
+up from dreams of earthquakes to find Peter 'ad got jammed under 'is bed,
+and was wondering what 'ad 'appened to 'im.
+
+None of 'em was in the best o' tempers when they woke up next morning,
+and Ginger 'ad 'ardly got 'is eyes open before Isaac was asking 'im about
+'is clothes agin.
+
+"Don't bother me about your clothes," ses Ginger; "talk about something
+else for a change."
+
+"Where are they?"  ses Isaac, sitting on the edge of 'is bed.
+
+Ginger yawned and felt in 'is waistcoat pocket--for neither of 'em 'ad
+undressed--and then 'e took the pawn-ticket out and threw it on the
+floor.  Isaac picked it up, and then 'e began to dance about the room as
+if 'e'd gone mad.
+
+"Do you mean to tell me you've pawned my clothes?" he shouts.
+
+"Me and Peter did," ses Ginger, sitting up in bed and getting ready for a
+row.
+
+Isaac dropped on the bed agin all of a 'cap.  "And wot am I to do?" he
+ses.
+
+"If you be'ave yourself," ses Ginger, "and give us our money, me and
+Peter'll go and get 'em out agin.  When we've 'ad breakfast, that is.
+There's no hurry."
+
+"But I 'aven't got the money," ses Isaac; "it was all sewn up in the
+lining of the coat.  I've on'y got about five shillings.  You've made a
+nice mess of it, Ginger, you 'ave."
+
+"You're a silly fool, Ginger, that's wot you are," ses Peter.
+
+"Sewn up in the lining of the coat?"  ses Ginger, staring.
+
+"The bank-notes was," ses Isaac, "and three pounds in gold 'idden in the
+cap.  Did you pawn that too?"
+
+Ginger got up in 'is excitement and walked up and down the room.  "We
+must go and get 'em out at once," he ses.
+
+"And where's the money to do it with?"  ses Peter.
+
+Ginger 'adn't thought of that, and it struck 'im all of a heap.  None of
+'em seemed to be able to think of a way of getting the other ten
+shillings wot was wanted, and Ginger was so upset that 'e took no notice
+of the things Peter kept saying to 'im.
+
+"Let's go and ask to see 'em, and say we left a railway-ticket in the
+pocket," ses Peter.
+
+Isaac shook 'is 'ead.  "There's on'y one way to do it," he ses.  "We
+shall 'ave to pawn your clothes, Ginger, to get mine out with."
+
+"That's the on'y way, Ginger," ses Peter, brightening up.  "Now, wot's
+the good o' carrying on like that?  It's no worse for you to be without
+your clothes for a little while than it was for pore old Isaac."
+
+It took 'em quite arf an hour afore they could get Ginger to see it.
+First of all 'e wanted Peter's clothes to be took instead of 'is, and
+when Peter pointed out that they was too shabby to fetch ten shillings
+'e 'ad a lot o' nasty things to say about wearing such old rags, and at
+last, in a terrible temper, 'e took 'is clothes off and pitched 'em in a
+'eap on the floor.
+
+"If you ain't back in arf an hour, Peter," 'e ses, scowling at 'im,
+"you'll 'ear from me, I can tell you."
+
+"Don't you worry about that," ses Isaac, with a smile.  "I'm going to
+take 'em."
+
+"You?" ses Ginger; "but you can't.  You ain't got no clothes."
+
+"I'm going to wear Peter's," ses Isaac, with a smile.
+
+Peter asked 'im to listen to reason, but it was all no good.  He'd got
+the pawn-ticket, and at last Peter, forgetting all he'd said to Ginger
+Dick about using bad langwidge, took 'is clothes off, one by one, and
+dashed 'em on the floor, and told Isaac some of the things 'e thought of
+'im.
+
+The old man didn't take any notice of 'im.  He dressed 'imself up very
+slow and careful in Peter's clothes, and then 'e drove 'em nearly crazy
+by wasting time making 'is bed.
+
+"Be as quick as you can, Isaac," ses Ginger, at last; "think of us two
+a-sitting 'ere waiting for you."
+
+"I sha'n't forget it," ses Isaac, and 'e came back to the door after 'e'd
+gone arf-way down the stairs to ask 'em not to go out on the drink while
+'e was away.
+
+It was nine o'clock when he went, and at ha'-past nine Ginger began to
+get impatient and wondered wot 'ad 'appened to 'im, and when ten o'clock
+came and no Isaac they was both leaning out of the winder with blankets
+over their shoulders looking up the road.  By eleven o'clock Peter was in
+very low spirits and Ginger was so mad 'e was afraid to speak to 'im.
+
+They spent the rest o' that day 'anging out of the winder, but it was not
+till ha'-past four in the after-noon that Isaac, still wearing Peter's
+clothes and carrying a couple of large green plants under 'is arm, turned
+into the road, and from the way 'e was smiling they thought it must be
+all right.
+
+"Wot 'ave you been such a long time for?"  ses Ginger, in a low, fierce
+voice, as Isaac stopped underneath the winder and nodded up to 'em.
+
+"I met a old friend," ses Isaac.
+
+"Met a old friend?"  ses Ginger, in a passion.  "Wot d'ye mean, wasting
+time like that while we was sitting up 'ere waiting and starving?"
+
+"I 'adn't seen 'im for years," ses Isaac, "and time slipped away afore I
+noticed it."
+
+"I dessay," ses Ginger, in a bitter voice.  "Well, is the money all
+right?"
+
+"I don't know," ses Isaac; "I ain't got the clothes."
+
+"Wot?"  ses Ginger, nearly falling out of the winder.  "Well, wot 'ave
+you done with mine, then?  Where are they?  Come upstairs."
+
+"I won't come upstairs, Ginger," ses Isaac, "because I'm not quite sure
+whether I've done right.  But I'm not used to going into pawnshops, and I
+walked about trying to make up my mind to go in and couldn't."
+
+"Well, wot did you do then?"  ses Ginger, 'ardly able to contain hisself.
+
+"While I was trying to make up my mind," ses old Isaac, "I see a man with
+a barrer of lovely plants.  'E wasn't asking money for 'em, only old
+clothes."
+
+"Old clothes?" ses Ginger, in a voice as if 'e was being suffocated.
+
+"I thought they'd be a bit o' green for you to look at," ses the old man,
+'olding the plants up; "there's no knowing 'ow long you'll be up there.
+The big one is yours, Ginger, and the other is for Peter."
+
+"'Ave you gone mad, Isaac?"  ses Peter, in a trembling voice, arter
+Ginger 'ad tried to speak and couldn't.
+
+Isaac shook 'is 'ead and smiled up at 'em, and then, arter telling Peter
+to put Ginger's blanket a little more round 'is shoulders, for fear 'e
+should catch cold, 'e said 'e'd ask the landlady to send 'em up some
+bread and butter and a cup o' tea.
+
+They 'eard 'im talking to the landlady at the door, and then 'e went off
+in a hurry without looking behind 'im, and the landlady walked up and
+down on the other side of the road with 'er apron stuffed in 'er mouth,
+pretending to be looking at 'er chimney-pots.
+
+Isaac didn't turn up at all that night, and by next morning those two
+unfortunate men see 'ow they'd been done.  It was quite plain to them
+that Isaac 'ad been deceiving them, and Peter was pretty certain that 'e
+took the money out of the bed while 'e was fussing about making it.  Old
+Isaac kept 'em there for three days, sending 'em in their clothes bit by
+bit and two shillings a day to live on; but they didn't set eyes on 'im
+agin until they all signed on aboard the Planet, and they didn't set eyes
+on their money until they was two miles below Gravesend.
+
+[Illustration: "Old Isaac kept 'em there for three days."]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Money Box, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12201 ***