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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/12203-0.txt b/12203-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ce92623 --- /dev/null +++ b/12203-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,563 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12203 *** + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT + +Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself. The +cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot +sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open +window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged. From her +seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her +father--kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of +her two admirers--to maintain his politeness. + +"Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's +very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me." + +[Illustration: "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, +softly."] + +"I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick +Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her. + +Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said +the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it. + +"I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually. + +Neither gentleman made any comment. + +"I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child." + +The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the +sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat +his chair like a human limpet. Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he +remembered his tenacity. + +"The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round. + +"Beautiful," assented the sergeant. "I saw it yesterday." + +"Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then," +said the farmer. + +Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not +surprised. It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a +visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great +discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr. +Turnbull's. To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and +on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect +mine of information. He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the +heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest. Their +voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed +head bent closer to that of his listener. Relieved from his attentions, +Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado. + +Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was +powerless to prevent. Considering her limited opportunities, Miss +Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him. Even the sergeant +was amazed, and suspected her of long practice. + +"I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and +looking out of the window. + +"Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant. "It would be nice down by the +water." + +"I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate +daughter. "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he +wakes," she added, turning to Blundell. + +Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in +his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and +watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight. He was +half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in +arousing the farmer at once. + +It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with +Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some +pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible. + +"Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded. "Because I wasn't asked," +replied the other. + +Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully. "For a +great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's +surprising what a little pluck you've got." + +"I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell. + +"That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him +severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own +way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame--tame--" + +"Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully. + +"I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think +of. There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia +about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there. I thought it +was pretty near settled between you." + +"So did I," said Mr. Blundell. + +"You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow. You're all +muscle and no head." + +"I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I +get to bed." + +Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he +closed the door and came toward his friend again. + +"I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia," +he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself." + +"You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell. + +"Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply. "But she won't marry so +long as Venia is at home. It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of +it she'd keep single to prevent it. She's just that sort of girl." + +Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it. "Who is it?" he inquired. + +"Miss Sippet," was the reply. "She couldn't hold her own for half an +hour against Venia." + +Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five +minutes. + +"And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see, +she's struck with Daly. If she has him it'll be years and years before +they can marry. She seems crazy about heroes. She was talking to me the +other night about them. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was +talking about you." + +Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise. + +"Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull. "Of course, I stuck +up for you. I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into +danger. I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how +particular you was about damp sheets. Your housekeeper told me." + +"It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face. "I'll send that +old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet." + +"It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible +girl would appreciate it. Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told +her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin. She +said she liked dare-devils." + +"I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr. +Blundell. "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin. Why +can't they mind their own business?" + +Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright +position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose +and took one from the mantel-piece. + +"I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the +ingrate. "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you +would make. Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things-- +and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether +you used a warming-pan." + +[Illustration: "She asked me whether you used a warming-pan."] + +Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the +formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the +door violently behind him. He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly +as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a +devoted mother without thinking for himself. + +For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to +put in an appearance at the farm--a fact which made flirtation with the +sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business. Her sole recompense was the +dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages +of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting- +sergeant. + +"She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he +was trying to spur on to a desperate effort. "I've been watching her +close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic. You're too slow and +ordinary for her. She wants somebody more dazzling. She told Daly only +yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes. Told it to him to his face. +I sat there and heard her. It's a pity you ain't a hero, John." + +"Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something +else." + +The other shook his head. "If you could only do something daring," he +murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see +you do it. Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from +drowning?" + +"Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in." + +"You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested +Mr. Turnbull. + +"And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart. + +"You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr. +Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before." + +"I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell. "I'm +not much of a swimmer, but--" + +"All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more +daring." + +"And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man, +gloomily. + +Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up +and down the room. His brows were knitted and his lips pursed. In the +presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful +silence. + +"We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr. +Turnbull, at last. + +"On the chance?" inquired his staring friend. + +"On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall +in." + +"He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell, +unpleasantly. + +"He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr. +Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble." + +"I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell. "I don't know +anybody more sure-footed than I am." + +"Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull. + +Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his +friend had been drinking. + +"Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort +"stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody. You trip your foot +against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you +off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him. He can't swim a +stroke." + +Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze. + +"There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon," +continued his instructor. "You'll have half Dunchurch round you, +praising you and patting you on the back--all in front of Venia, mind +you. It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal." + +"And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly. + +"Drowned? Fiddlesticks !" said Mr. Turnbull. "However, please +yourself. If you're afraid----" + +"I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly. + +"And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing +your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be. And +when you're on the quay take your time about coming round. Be longer +than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity." + +"All right," said the other. + +"After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if +I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again. Work +it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts." + +"It sounds all right," said Blundell. + +"It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull. "That's just the bare idea I've +given you. It's for you to improve upon it. You've got two days to +think about it." + +Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little +else. Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a +comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday +afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's. + +The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the +window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair, +regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago. + +"We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as +Blundell entered. + +"What! a hot day like this?" said Venia. + +"I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the +sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's +performance. + +"It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of +facts; "much cooler when you get used to it." + +He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much +as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed. The sun +was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on +the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon +promenade. The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against +the stone sides. + +At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped, +ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the +distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the +after-noon's business. The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it +was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two +young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments. + +Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened. The ship +was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company +lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath +her father's very nose. + +"You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr. +Turnbull. + +"I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly. + +"Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other. "I suppose you are +going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of +them will see you push him over." + +"It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on +your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements." + +"Well?" said the other. + +"It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've +been thinking. He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get +as much sympathy; perhaps more." + +"Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?" demanded Mr. +Turnbull. + +"No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved +somebody else. I don't want Daly to be pitied." + +"Bah! you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull. +"You're afraid of a little cold water." + +[Illustration: "Bah! you are backing out of it,' said the irritated Mr. +Turnbull."] + +"No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to +save somebody else. She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while +I am struggling for my life. I've thought it all out very carefully. I +know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a +thing, I do it. You ought to know that." + +"That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push +in?" + +"That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely. "Don't you worry about that; +I shall find somebody." + +Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay. As a +rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this +occasion he had his doubts. + +"Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly. "I give it up. It seems-- +Halloa! Good heavens, be careful. You nearly had me in then." + +"Did I?" said Blundell, thickly. "I'm very sorry." + +Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a +grudging spirit and trudged along in silence. Then he started nervously +as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him. It was an +incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was +nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from +significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward +friend. + +"It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly. + +"I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer +this side. You very near had me over just now." + +"I staggered," said Mr. Blundell. + +"Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with +a shudder. "That would have been a nice how d'ye do." + +Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward. "Accidents will happen," he +murmured. + +They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they +turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease +with which he bore off Venia. Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some +little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat +lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside +place. He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in +vain. + +"What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly +came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour. + +"Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly. "I never saw such a monster. It +must be a yard across." + +Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell +pointed it out with his finger he had no better success. He stepped +forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand +was laid caressingly on his shoulder. The next moment, with a wild +shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared. Venia and the +sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which +ensued on his immersion. + +[Illustration: "With a wild shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and +disappeared."] + +"Oh, save him!" cried Venia. + +The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull +came to the surface and disappeared again. At the same moment Blundell, +who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly +to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar. + +"Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep +still or I'll let you go." + +"Help!" choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which +had collected on the quay. + +A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of +the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm. John +Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of +fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman +below the surface again. By the time they came up he was very glad for +his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and +be drawn gently to the side. + +"I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the +line." + +Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to +regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps. +Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the +quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt +water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell. +Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed +to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman, +with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a +barrel. + +"He--he--push--pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull. + +Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe, +was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell. + +"He--he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull. + +"Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round. + +"He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull. "He pushed me in." + +"Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can +you?" + +"Shame!" said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for +signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell. He lay still with +his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a +rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him +more good than anything. + +"Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye." + +Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand. + +"He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the +faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions. "He +pushed me in." + +There was an angry murmur from the bystanders. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply. + +"He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman. "As plucky +a thing as ever I see. If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line +you'd both ha' been drownded." + +"Give--my love--to everybody," said Blundell, faintly. "Good-bye, Venia. +Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull." + +"Where's that barrel?" demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply. "Going +to be all night with it? Now, two of you----" + +Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the +sergeant, sat up. He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no +desire to spoil it by riding the barrel. With one exception, everybody +was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration. The exception's eyes were, +perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them. + +"You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping. "I +tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose." + +"Oh, father! how can you?" demanded Venia, angrily. "He saved your +life." + +"He pushed me in," repeated the farmer. "Told me to look at a jelly-fish +and pushed me in." + +"What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly. + +"Because--" said Mr. Turnbull. He looked at the unconscious sergeant, +and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl. + +"What for?" pursued the sergeant, in triumph. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull. Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly +losing his life saving you? That would be a fool's trick. It was as +fine a thing as ever I saw." + +"What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on +the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun." + +"What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went." + +"As easy as easy," said a third. + +"You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him +critically, "and your eyes are starting. You take my advice and get 'ome +and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses +back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for +you." + +[Illustration: "You take my advice and get 'ome and get to bed."] + +Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew +misty before his angry eyes. One man, ignoring his sodden condition, +recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow. + +"I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was +assisted to his feet. "I'd do as much for you again." + +The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull +felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators +clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example. +Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home, +shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours +as they passed. Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the +rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of +his friends. + +The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him +for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw +things in the same light as reasonable folk. Venia was the first to +congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in +proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs. +Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. 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W. Jacobs: Part 3 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Blundell's Improvement + Odd Craft, Part 3. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 29, 2004 [EBook #12203] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 3.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-12"> +"Father Was So Pleased to See You Both Come In," She Said, +Softly." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-13"> +"She Asked Me Whether You Used a Warming-pan." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-14"> +"Bah! You Are Backing out of It,' Said the Irritated Mr. +Turnbull." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-15"> +"With a Wild Shriek, he Shot Suddenly over the Edge And +Disappeared." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-16"> +"You Take My Advice and Get 'ome And Get to Bed." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + + + + +<a name="2H_4_3"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT +</h2> +<p> + Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself. The + cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot + sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open + window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged. From her + seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her + father—kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of + her two admirers—to maintain his politeness. +</p> +<p> + "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's + very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me." +</p> +<a name="image-12"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="012.jpg" height="430" width="567" +alt="'father Was So Pleased to See You Both Come In,' She Said, +Softly.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick + Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her. +</p> +<p> + Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said + the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it. +</p> +<p> + "I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually. +</p> +<p> + Neither gentleman made any comment. +</p> +<p> + "I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child." +</p> +<p> + The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the + sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat + his chair like a human limpet. Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he + remembered his tenacity. +</p> +<p> + "The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round. +</p> +<p> + "Beautiful," assented the sergeant. "I saw it yesterday." +</p> +<p> + "Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then," + said the farmer. +</p> +<p> + Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not + surprised. It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a + visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great + discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr. + Turnbull's. To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and + on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect + mine of information. He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the + heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest. Their + voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed + head bent closer to that of his listener. Relieved from his attentions, + Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado. +</p> +<p> + Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was + powerless to prevent. Considering her limited opportunities, Miss + Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him. Even the sergeant + was amazed, and suspected her of long practice. +</p> +<p> + "I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and + looking out of the window. +</p> +<p> + "Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant. "It would be nice down by the + water." +</p> +<p> + "I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate + daughter. "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he + wakes," she added, turning to Blundell. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in + his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and + watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight. He was + half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in + arousing the farmer at once. +</p> +<p> + It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with + Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some + pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible. +</p> +<p> + "Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded. "Because I wasn't asked," + replied the other. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully. "For a + great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's + surprising what a little pluck you've got." +</p> +<p> + "I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him + severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own + way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame—tame—" +</p> +<p> + "Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully. +</p> +<p> + "I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think + of. There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia + about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there. I thought it + was pretty near settled between you." +</p> +<p> + "So did I," said Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow. You're all + muscle and no head." +</p> +<p> + "I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I + get to bed." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he + closed the door and came toward his friend again. +</p> +<p> + "I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia," + he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself." +</p> +<p> + "You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply. "But she won't marry so + long as Venia is at home. It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of + it she'd keep single to prevent it. She's just that sort of girl." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it. "Who is it?" he inquired. +</p> +<p> + "Miss Sippet," was the reply. "She couldn't hold her own for half an + hour against Venia." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five + minutes. +</p> +<p> + "And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see, + she's struck with Daly. If she has him it'll be years and years before + they can marry. She seems crazy about heroes. She was talking to me the + other night about them. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was + talking about you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise. +</p> +<p> + "Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull. "Of course, I stuck + up for you. I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into + danger. I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how + particular you was about damp sheets. Your housekeeper told me." +</p> +<p> + "It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face. "I'll send that + old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet." +</p> +<p> + "It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible + girl would appreciate it. Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told + her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin. She + said she liked dare-devils." +</p> +<p> + "I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr. + Blundell. "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin. Why + can't they mind their own business?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright + position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose + and took one from the mantel-piece. +</p> +<p> + "I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the + ingrate. "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you + would make. Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things— + and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether + you used a warming-pan." +</p> +<a name="image-13"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="013.jpg" height="609" width="579" +alt="'she Asked Me Whether You Used a Warming-pan.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the + formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the + door violently behind him. He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly + as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a + devoted mother without thinking for himself. +</p> +<p> + For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to + put in an appearance at the farm—a fact which made flirtation with the + sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business. Her sole recompense was the + dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages + of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting- + sergeant. +</p> +<p> + "She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he + was trying to spur on to a desperate effort. "I've been watching her + close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic. You're too slow and + ordinary for her. She wants somebody more dazzling. She told Daly only + yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes. Told it to him to his face. + I sat there and heard her. It's a pity you ain't a hero, John." +</p> +<p> + "Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something + else." +</p> +<p> + The other shook his head. "If you could only do something daring," he + murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see + you do it. Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from + drowning?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in." +</p> +<p> + "You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested + Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart. +</p> +<p> + "You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr. + Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before." +</p> +<p> + "I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell. "I'm + not much of a swimmer, but—" +</p> +<p> + "All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more + daring." +</p> +<p> + "And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man, + gloomily. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up + and down the room. His brows were knitted and his lips pursed. In the + presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful + silence. +</p> +<p> + "We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr. + Turnbull, at last. +</p> +<p> + "On the chance?" inquired his staring friend. +</p> +<p> + "On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall + in." +</p> +<p> + "He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell, + unpleasantly. +</p> +<p> + "He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr. + Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble." +</p> +<p> + "I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell. "I don't know + anybody more sure-footed than I am." +</p> +<p> + "Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his + friend had been drinking. +</p> +<p> + "Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort + "stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody. You trip your foot + against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you + off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him. He can't swim a + stroke." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze. +</p> +<p> + "There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon," + continued his instructor. "You'll have half Dunchurch round you, + praising you and patting you on the back—all in front of Venia, mind + you. It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal." +</p> +<p> + "And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly. +</p> +<p> + "Drowned? Fiddlesticks !" said Mr. Turnbull. "However, please + yourself. If you're afraid——" +</p> +<p> + "I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly. +</p> +<p> + "And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing + your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be. And + when you're on the quay take your time about coming round. Be longer + than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity." +</p> +<p> + "All right," said the other. +</p> +<p> + "After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if + I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again. Work + it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts." +</p> +<p> + "It sounds all right," said Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull. "That's just the bare idea I've + given you. It's for you to improve upon it. You've got two days to + think about it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little + else. Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a + comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday + afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's. +</p> +<p> + The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the + window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair, + regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago. +</p> +<p> + "We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as + Blundell entered. +</p> +<p> + "What! a hot day like this?" said Venia. +</p> +<p> + "I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the + sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's + performance. +</p> +<p> + "It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of + facts; "much cooler when you get used to it." +</p> +<p> + He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much + as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed. The sun + was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on + the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon + promenade. The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against + the stone sides. +</p> +<p> + At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped, + ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the + distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the + after-noon's business. The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it + was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two + young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments. +</p> +<p> + Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened. The ship + was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company + lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath + her father's very nose. +</p> +<p> + "You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr. + Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly. +</p> +<p> + "Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other. "I suppose you are + going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of + them will see you push him over." +</p> +<p> + "It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on + your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements." +</p> +<p> + "Well?" said the other. +</p> +<p> + "It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've + been thinking. He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get + as much sympathy; perhaps more." +</p> +<p> + "Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?" demanded Mr. + Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved + somebody else. I don't want Daly to be pitied." +</p> +<p> + "Bah! you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull. + "You're afraid of a little cold water." +</p> +<a name="image-14"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="014.jpg" height="578" width="555" +alt="'bah! You Are Backing out of It,' Said the Irritated Mr. +Turnbull.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to + save somebody else. She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while + I am struggling for my life. I've thought it all out very carefully. I + know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a + thing, I do it. You ought to know that." +</p> +<p> + "That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push + in?" +</p> +<p> + "That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely. "Don't you worry about that; + I shall find somebody." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay. As a + rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this + occasion he had his doubts. +</p> +<p> + "Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly. "I give it up. It seems— + Halloa! Good heavens, be careful. You nearly had me in then." +</p> +<p> + "Did I?" said Blundell, thickly. "I'm very sorry." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a + grudging spirit and trudged along in silence. Then he started nervously + as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him. It was an + incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was + nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from + significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward + friend. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly. +</p> +<p> + "I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer + this side. You very near had me over just now." +</p> +<p> + "I staggered," said Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with + a shudder. "That would have been a nice how d'ye do." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward. "Accidents will happen," he + murmured. +</p> +<p> + They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they + turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease + with which he bore off Venia. Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some + little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat + lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside + place. He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in + vain. +</p> +<p> + "What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly + came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour. +</p> +<p> + "Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly. "I never saw such a monster. It + must be a yard across." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell + pointed it out with his finger he had no better success. He stepped + forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand + was laid caressingly on his shoulder. The next moment, with a wild + shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared. Venia and the + sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which + ensued on his immersion. +</p> +<a name="image-15"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="015.jpg" height="799" width="512" +alt="'with a Wild Shriek, he Shot Suddenly over the Edge And +Disappeared.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Oh, save him!" cried Venia. +</p> +<p> + The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull + came to the surface and disappeared again. At the same moment Blundell, + who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly + to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar. +</p> +<p> + "Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep + still or I'll let you go." +</p> +<p> + "Help!" choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which + had collected on the quay. +</p> +<p> + A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of + the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm. John + Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of + fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman + below the surface again. By the time they came up he was very glad for + his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and + be drawn gently to the side. +</p> +<p> + "I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the + line." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to + regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps. + Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the + quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt + water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell. + Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed + to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman, + with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a + barrel. +</p> +<p> + "He—he—push—pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe, + was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "He—he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round. +</p> +<p> + "He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull. "He pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can + you?" +</p> +<p> + "Shame!" said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for + signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell. He lay still with + his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a + rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him + more good than anything. +</p> +<p> + "Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye." +</p> +<p> + Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand. +</p> +<p> + "He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the + faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions. "He + pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + There was an angry murmur from the bystanders. "Be reasonable, Mr. + Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply. +</p> +<p> + "He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman. "As plucky + a thing as ever I see. If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line + you'd both ha' been drownded." +</p> +<p> + "Give—my love—to everybody," said Blundell, faintly. "Good-bye, Venia. + Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull." +</p> +<p> + "Where's that barrel?" demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply. "Going + to be all night with it? Now, two of you——" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the + sergeant, sat up. He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no + desire to spoil it by riding the barrel. With one exception, everybody + was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration. The exception's eyes were, + perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them. +</p> +<p> + "You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping. "I + tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, father! how can you?" demanded Venia, angrily. "He saved your + life." +</p> +<p> + "He pushed me in," repeated the farmer. "Told me to look at a jelly-fish + and pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + "What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly. +</p> +<p> + "Because—" said Mr. Turnbull. He looked at the unconscious sergeant, + and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl. +</p> +<p> + "What for?" pursued the sergeant, in triumph. "Be reasonable, Mr. + Turnbull. Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly + losing his life saving you? That would be a fool's trick. It was as + fine a thing as ever I saw." +</p> +<p> + "What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on + the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun." +</p> +<p> + "What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went." +</p> +<p> + "As easy as easy," said a third. +</p> +<p> + "You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him + critically, "and your eyes are starting. You take my advice and get 'ome + and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses + back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for + you." +</p> +<a name="image-16"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="016.jpg" height="503" width="561" +alt="'you Take My Advice and Get 'ome And Get to Bed.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew + misty before his angry eyes. One man, ignoring his sodden condition, + recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow. +</p> +<p> + "I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was + assisted to his feet. "I'd do as much for you again." +</p> +<p> + The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull + felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators + clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example. + Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home, + shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours + as they passed. Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the + rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of + his friends. +</p> +<p> + The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him + for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw + things in the same light as reasonable folk. Venia was the first to + congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in + proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs. + Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial. +</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + +***** This file should be named 12203-h.htm or 12203-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/2/0/12203/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: April 29, 2004 [EBook #12203] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT + +Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself. The +cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot +sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open +window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged. From her +seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her +father--kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of +her two admirers--to maintain his politeness. + +"Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's +very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me." + +[Illustration: "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, +softly."] + +"I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick +Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her. + +Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said +the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it. + +"I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually. + +Neither gentleman made any comment. + +"I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child." + +The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the +sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat +his chair like a human limpet. Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he +remembered his tenacity. + +"The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round. + +"Beautiful," assented the sergeant. "I saw it yesterday." + +"Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then," +said the farmer. + +Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not +surprised. It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a +visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great +discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr. +Turnbull's. To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and +on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect +mine of information. He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the +heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest. Their +voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed +head bent closer to that of his listener. Relieved from his attentions, +Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado. + +Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was +powerless to prevent. Considering her limited opportunities, Miss +Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him. Even the sergeant +was amazed, and suspected her of long practice. + +"I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and +looking out of the window. + +"Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant. "It would be nice down by the +water." + +"I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate +daughter. "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he +wakes," she added, turning to Blundell. + +Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in +his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and +watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight. He was +half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in +arousing the farmer at once. + +It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with +Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some +pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible. + +"Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded. "Because I wasn't asked," +replied the other. + +Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully. "For a +great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's +surprising what a little pluck you've got." + +"I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell. + +"That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him +severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own +way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame--tame--" + +"Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully. + +"I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think +of. There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia +about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there. I thought it +was pretty near settled between you." + +"So did I," said Mr. Blundell. + +"You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow. You're all +muscle and no head." + +"I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I +get to bed." + +Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he +closed the door and came toward his friend again. + +"I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia," +he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself." + +"You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell. + +"Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply. "But she won't marry so +long as Venia is at home. It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of +it she'd keep single to prevent it. She's just that sort of girl." + +Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it. "Who is it?" he inquired. + +"Miss Sippet," was the reply. "She couldn't hold her own for half an +hour against Venia." + +Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five +minutes. + +"And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see, +she's struck with Daly. If she has him it'll be years and years before +they can marry. She seems crazy about heroes. She was talking to me the +other night about them. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was +talking about you." + +Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise. + +"Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull. "Of course, I stuck +up for you. I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into +danger. I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how +particular you was about damp sheets. Your housekeeper told me." + +"It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face. "I'll send that +old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet." + +"It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible +girl would appreciate it. Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told +her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin. She +said she liked dare-devils." + +"I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr. +Blundell. "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin. Why +can't they mind their own business?" + +Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright +position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose +and took one from the mantel-piece. + +"I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the +ingrate. "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you +would make. Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things-- +and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether +you used a warming-pan." + +[Illustration: "She asked me whether you used a warming-pan."] + +Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the +formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the +door violently behind him. He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly +as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a +devoted mother without thinking for himself. + +For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to +put in an appearance at the farm--a fact which made flirtation with the +sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business. Her sole recompense was the +dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages +of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting- +sergeant. + +"She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he +was trying to spur on to a desperate effort. "I've been watching her +close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic. You're too slow and +ordinary for her. She wants somebody more dazzling. She told Daly only +yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes. Told it to him to his face. +I sat there and heard her. It's a pity you ain't a hero, John." + +"Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something +else." + +The other shook his head. "If you could only do something daring," he +murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see +you do it. Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from +drowning?" + +"Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in." + +"You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested +Mr. Turnbull. + +"And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart. + +"You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr. +Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before." + +"I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell. "I'm +not much of a swimmer, but--" + +"All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more +daring." + +"And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man, +gloomily. + +Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up +and down the room. His brows were knitted and his lips pursed. In the +presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful +silence. + +"We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr. +Turnbull, at last. + +"On the chance?" inquired his staring friend. + +"On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall +in." + +"He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell, +unpleasantly. + +"He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr. +Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble." + +"I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell. "I don't know +anybody more sure-footed than I am." + +"Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull. + +Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his +friend had been drinking. + +"Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort +"stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody. You trip your foot +against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you +off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him. He can't swim a +stroke." + +Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze. + +"There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon," +continued his instructor. "You'll have half Dunchurch round you, +praising you and patting you on the back--all in front of Venia, mind +you. It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal." + +"And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly. + +"Drowned? Fiddlesticks !" said Mr. Turnbull. "However, please +yourself. If you're afraid----" + +"I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly. + +"And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing +your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be. And +when you're on the quay take your time about coming round. Be longer +than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity." + +"All right," said the other. + +"After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if +I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again. Work +it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts." + +"It sounds all right," said Blundell. + +"It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull. "That's just the bare idea I've +given you. It's for you to improve upon it. You've got two days to +think about it." + +Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little +else. Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a +comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday +afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's. + +The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the +window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair, +regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago. + +"We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as +Blundell entered. + +"What! a hot day like this?" said Venia. + +"I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the +sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's +performance. + +"It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of +facts; "much cooler when you get used to it." + +He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much +as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed. The sun +was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on +the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon +promenade. The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against +the stone sides. + +At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped, +ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the +distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the +after-noon's business. The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it +was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two +young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments. + +Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened. The ship +was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company +lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath +her father's very nose. + +"You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr. +Turnbull. + +"I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly. + +"Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other. "I suppose you are +going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of +them will see you push him over." + +"It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on +your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements." + +"Well?" said the other. + +"It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've +been thinking. He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get +as much sympathy; perhaps more." + +"Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?" demanded Mr. +Turnbull. + +"No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved +somebody else. I don't want Daly to be pitied." + +"Bah! you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull. +"You're afraid of a little cold water." + +[Illustration: "Bah! you are backing out of it,' said the irritated Mr. +Turnbull."] + +"No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to +save somebody else. She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while +I am struggling for my life. I've thought it all out very carefully. I +know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a +thing, I do it. You ought to know that." + +"That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push +in?" + +"That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely. "Don't you worry about that; +I shall find somebody." + +Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay. As a +rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this +occasion he had his doubts. + +"Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly. "I give it up. It seems-- +Halloa! Good heavens, be careful. You nearly had me in then." + +"Did I?" said Blundell, thickly. "I'm very sorry." + +Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a +grudging spirit and trudged along in silence. Then he started nervously +as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him. It was an +incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was +nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from +significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward +friend. + +"It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly. + +"I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer +this side. You very near had me over just now." + +"I staggered," said Mr. Blundell. + +"Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with +a shudder. "That would have been a nice how d'ye do." + +Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward. "Accidents will happen," he +murmured. + +They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they +turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease +with which he bore off Venia. Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some +little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat +lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside +place. He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in +vain. + +"What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly +came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour. + +"Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly. "I never saw such a monster. It +must be a yard across." + +Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell +pointed it out with his finger he had no better success. He stepped +forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand +was laid caressingly on his shoulder. The next moment, with a wild +shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared. Venia and the +sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which +ensued on his immersion. + +[Illustration: "With a wild shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and +disappeared."] + +"Oh, save him!" cried Venia. + +The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull +came to the surface and disappeared again. At the same moment Blundell, +who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly +to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar. + +"Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep +still or I'll let you go." + +"Help!" choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which +had collected on the quay. + +A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of +the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm. John +Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of +fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman +below the surface again. By the time they came up he was very glad for +his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and +be drawn gently to the side. + +"I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the +line." + +Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to +regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps. +Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the +quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt +water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell. +Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed +to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman, +with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a +barrel. + +"He--he--push--pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull. + +Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe, +was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell. + +"He--he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull. + +"Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round. + +"He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull. "He pushed me in." + +"Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can +you?" + +"Shame!" said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for +signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell. He lay still with +his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a +rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him +more good than anything. + +"Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye." + +Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand. + +"He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the +faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions. "He +pushed me in." + +There was an angry murmur from the bystanders. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply. + +"He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman. "As plucky +a thing as ever I see. If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line +you'd both ha' been drownded." + +"Give--my love--to everybody," said Blundell, faintly. "Good-bye, Venia. +Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull." + +"Where's that barrel?" demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply. "Going +to be all night with it? Now, two of you----" + +Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the +sergeant, sat up. He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no +desire to spoil it by riding the barrel. With one exception, everybody +was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration. The exception's eyes were, +perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them. + +"You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping. "I +tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose." + +"Oh, father! how can you?" demanded Venia, angrily. "He saved your +life." + +"He pushed me in," repeated the farmer. "Told me to look at a jelly-fish +and pushed me in." + +"What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly. + +"Because--" said Mr. Turnbull. He looked at the unconscious sergeant, +and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl. + +"What for?" pursued the sergeant, in triumph. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull. Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly +losing his life saving you? That would be a fool's trick. It was as +fine a thing as ever I saw." + +"What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on +the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun." + +"What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went." + +"As easy as easy," said a third. + +"You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him +critically, "and your eyes are starting. You take my advice and get 'ome +and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses +back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for +you." + +[Illustration: "You take my advice and get 'ome and get to bed."] + +Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew +misty before his angry eyes. One man, ignoring his sodden condition, +recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow. + +"I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was +assisted to his feet. "I'd do as much for you again." + +The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull +felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators +clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example. +Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home, +shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours +as they passed. Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the +rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of +his friends. + +The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him +for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw +things in the same light as reasonable folk. Venia was the first to +congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in +proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs. +Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. 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W. Jacobs: Part 3 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Blundell's Improvement + Odd Craft, Part 3. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 29, 2004 [EBook #12203] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 3.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-12"> +"Father Was So Pleased to See You Both Come In," She Said, +Softly." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-13"> +"She Asked Me Whether You Used a Warming-pan." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-14"> +"Bah! You Are Backing out of It,' Said the Irritated Mr. +Turnbull." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-15"> +"With a Wild Shriek, he Shot Suddenly over the Edge And +Disappeared." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-16"> +"You Take My Advice and Get 'ome And Get to Bed." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + + + + +<a name="2H_4_3"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT +</h2> +<p> + Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself. The + cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot + sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open + window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged. From her + seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her + father—kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of + her two admirers—to maintain his politeness. +</p> +<p> + "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's + very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me." +</p> +<a name="image-12"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="012.jpg" height="430" width="567" +alt="'father Was So Pleased to See You Both Come In,' She Said, +Softly.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick + Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her. +</p> +<p> + Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said + the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it. +</p> +<p> + "I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually. +</p> +<p> + Neither gentleman made any comment. +</p> +<p> + "I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child." +</p> +<p> + The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the + sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat + his chair like a human limpet. Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he + remembered his tenacity. +</p> +<p> + "The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round. +</p> +<p> + "Beautiful," assented the sergeant. "I saw it yesterday." +</p> +<p> + "Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then," + said the farmer. +</p> +<p> + Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not + surprised. It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a + visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great + discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr. + Turnbull's. To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and + on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect + mine of information. He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the + heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest. Their + voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed + head bent closer to that of his listener. Relieved from his attentions, + Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado. +</p> +<p> + Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was + powerless to prevent. Considering her limited opportunities, Miss + Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him. Even the sergeant + was amazed, and suspected her of long practice. +</p> +<p> + "I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and + looking out of the window. +</p> +<p> + "Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant. "It would be nice down by the + water." +</p> +<p> + "I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate + daughter. "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he + wakes," she added, turning to Blundell. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in + his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and + watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight. He was + half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in + arousing the farmer at once. +</p> +<p> + It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with + Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some + pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible. +</p> +<p> + "Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded. "Because I wasn't asked," + replied the other. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully. "For a + great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's + surprising what a little pluck you've got." +</p> +<p> + "I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him + severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own + way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame—tame—" +</p> +<p> + "Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully. +</p> +<p> + "I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think + of. There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia + about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there. I thought it + was pretty near settled between you." +</p> +<p> + "So did I," said Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow. You're all + muscle and no head." +</p> +<p> + "I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I + get to bed." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he + closed the door and came toward his friend again. +</p> +<p> + "I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia," + he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself." +</p> +<p> + "You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply. "But she won't marry so + long as Venia is at home. It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of + it she'd keep single to prevent it. She's just that sort of girl." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it. "Who is it?" he inquired. +</p> +<p> + "Miss Sippet," was the reply. "She couldn't hold her own for half an + hour against Venia." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five + minutes. +</p> +<p> + "And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see, + she's struck with Daly. If she has him it'll be years and years before + they can marry. She seems crazy about heroes. She was talking to me the + other night about them. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was + talking about you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise. +</p> +<p> + "Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull. "Of course, I stuck + up for you. I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into + danger. I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how + particular you was about damp sheets. Your housekeeper told me." +</p> +<p> + "It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face. "I'll send that + old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet." +</p> +<p> + "It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible + girl would appreciate it. Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told + her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin. She + said she liked dare-devils." +</p> +<p> + "I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr. + Blundell. "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin. Why + can't they mind their own business?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright + position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose + and took one from the mantel-piece. +</p> +<p> + "I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the + ingrate. "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you + would make. Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things— + and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether + you used a warming-pan." +</p> +<a name="image-13"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="013.jpg" height="609" width="579" +alt="'she Asked Me Whether You Used a Warming-pan.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the + formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the + door violently behind him. He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly + as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a + devoted mother without thinking for himself. +</p> +<p> + For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to + put in an appearance at the farm—a fact which made flirtation with the + sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business. Her sole recompense was the + dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages + of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting- + sergeant. +</p> +<p> + "She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he + was trying to spur on to a desperate effort. "I've been watching her + close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic. You're too slow and + ordinary for her. She wants somebody more dazzling. She told Daly only + yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes. Told it to him to his face. + I sat there and heard her. It's a pity you ain't a hero, John." +</p> +<p> + "Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something + else." +</p> +<p> + The other shook his head. "If you could only do something daring," he + murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see + you do it. Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from + drowning?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in." +</p> +<p> + "You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested + Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart. +</p> +<p> + "You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr. + Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before." +</p> +<p> + "I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell. "I'm + not much of a swimmer, but—" +</p> +<p> + "All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more + daring." +</p> +<p> + "And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man, + gloomily. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up + and down the room. His brows were knitted and his lips pursed. In the + presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful + silence. +</p> +<p> + "We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr. + Turnbull, at last. +</p> +<p> + "On the chance?" inquired his staring friend. +</p> +<p> + "On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall + in." +</p> +<p> + "He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell, + unpleasantly. +</p> +<p> + "He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr. + Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble." +</p> +<p> + "I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell. "I don't know + anybody more sure-footed than I am." +</p> +<p> + "Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his + friend had been drinking. +</p> +<p> + "Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort + "stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody. You trip your foot + against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you + off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him. He can't swim a + stroke." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze. +</p> +<p> + "There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon," + continued his instructor. "You'll have half Dunchurch round you, + praising you and patting you on the back—all in front of Venia, mind + you. It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal." +</p> +<p> + "And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly. +</p> +<p> + "Drowned? Fiddlesticks !" said Mr. Turnbull. "However, please + yourself. If you're afraid——" +</p> +<p> + "I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly. +</p> +<p> + "And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing + your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be. And + when you're on the quay take your time about coming round. Be longer + than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity." +</p> +<p> + "All right," said the other. +</p> +<p> + "After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if + I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again. Work + it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts." +</p> +<p> + "It sounds all right," said Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull. "That's just the bare idea I've + given you. It's for you to improve upon it. You've got two days to + think about it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little + else. Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a + comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday + afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's. +</p> +<p> + The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the + window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair, + regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago. +</p> +<p> + "We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as + Blundell entered. +</p> +<p> + "What! a hot day like this?" said Venia. +</p> +<p> + "I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the + sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's + performance. +</p> +<p> + "It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of + facts; "much cooler when you get used to it." +</p> +<p> + He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much + as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed. The sun + was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on + the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon + promenade. The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against + the stone sides. +</p> +<p> + At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped, + ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the + distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the + after-noon's business. The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it + was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two + young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments. +</p> +<p> + Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened. The ship + was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company + lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath + her father's very nose. +</p> +<p> + "You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr. + Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly. +</p> +<p> + "Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other. "I suppose you are + going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of + them will see you push him over." +</p> +<p> + "It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on + your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements." +</p> +<p> + "Well?" said the other. +</p> +<p> + "It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've + been thinking. He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get + as much sympathy; perhaps more." +</p> +<p> + "Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?" demanded Mr. + Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved + somebody else. I don't want Daly to be pitied." +</p> +<p> + "Bah! you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull. + "You're afraid of a little cold water." +</p> +<a name="image-14"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="014.jpg" height="578" width="555" +alt="'bah! You Are Backing out of It,' Said the Irritated Mr. +Turnbull.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to + save somebody else. She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while + I am struggling for my life. I've thought it all out very carefully. I + know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a + thing, I do it. You ought to know that." +</p> +<p> + "That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push + in?" +</p> +<p> + "That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely. "Don't you worry about that; + I shall find somebody." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay. As a + rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this + occasion he had his doubts. +</p> +<p> + "Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly. "I give it up. It seems— + Halloa! Good heavens, be careful. You nearly had me in then." +</p> +<p> + "Did I?" said Blundell, thickly. "I'm very sorry." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a + grudging spirit and trudged along in silence. Then he started nervously + as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him. It was an + incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was + nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from + significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward + friend. +</p> +<p> + "It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly. +</p> +<p> + "I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer + this side. You very near had me over just now." +</p> +<p> + "I staggered," said Mr. Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with + a shudder. "That would have been a nice how d'ye do." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward. "Accidents will happen," he + murmured. +</p> +<p> + They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they + turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease + with which he bore off Venia. Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some + little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat + lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside + place. He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in + vain. +</p> +<p> + "What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly + came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour. +</p> +<p> + "Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly. "I never saw such a monster. It + must be a yard across." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell + pointed it out with his finger he had no better success. He stepped + forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand + was laid caressingly on his shoulder. The next moment, with a wild + shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared. Venia and the + sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which + ensued on his immersion. +</p> +<a name="image-15"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="015.jpg" height="799" width="512" +alt="'with a Wild Shriek, he Shot Suddenly over the Edge And +Disappeared.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "Oh, save him!" cried Venia. +</p> +<p> + The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull + came to the surface and disappeared again. At the same moment Blundell, + who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly + to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar. +</p> +<p> + "Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep + still or I'll let you go." +</p> +<p> + "Help!" choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which + had collected on the quay. +</p> +<p> + A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of + the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm. John + Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of + fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman + below the surface again. By the time they came up he was very glad for + his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and + be drawn gently to the side. +</p> +<p> + "I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the + line." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to + regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps. + Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the + quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt + water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell. + Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed + to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman, + with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a + barrel. +</p> +<p> + "He—he—push—pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe, + was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell. +</p> +<p> + "He—he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull. +</p> +<p> + "Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round. +</p> +<p> + "He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull. "He pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can + you?" +</p> +<p> + "Shame!" said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for + signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell. He lay still with + his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a + rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him + more good than anything. +</p> +<p> + "Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye." +</p> +<p> + Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand. +</p> +<p> + "He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the + faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions. "He + pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + There was an angry murmur from the bystanders. "Be reasonable, Mr. + Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply. +</p> +<p> + "He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman. "As plucky + a thing as ever I see. If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line + you'd both ha' been drownded." +</p> +<p> + "Give—my love—to everybody," said Blundell, faintly. "Good-bye, Venia. + Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull." +</p> +<p> + "Where's that barrel?" demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply. "Going + to be all night with it? Now, two of you——" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the + sergeant, sat up. He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no + desire to spoil it by riding the barrel. With one exception, everybody + was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration. The exception's eyes were, + perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them. +</p> +<p> + "You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping. "I + tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, father! how can you?" demanded Venia, angrily. "He saved your + life." +</p> +<p> + "He pushed me in," repeated the farmer. "Told me to look at a jelly-fish + and pushed me in." +</p> +<p> + "What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly. +</p> +<p> + "Because—" said Mr. Turnbull. He looked at the unconscious sergeant, + and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl. +</p> +<p> + "What for?" pursued the sergeant, in triumph. "Be reasonable, Mr. + Turnbull. Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly + losing his life saving you? That would be a fool's trick. It was as + fine a thing as ever I saw." +</p> +<p> + "What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on + the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun." +</p> +<p> + "What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went." +</p> +<p> + "As easy as easy," said a third. +</p> +<p> + "You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him + critically, "and your eyes are starting. You take my advice and get 'ome + and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses + back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for + you." +</p> +<a name="image-16"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="016.jpg" height="503" width="561" +alt="'you Take My Advice and Get 'ome And Get to Bed.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew + misty before his angry eyes. One man, ignoring his sodden condition, + recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow. +</p> +<p> + "I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was + assisted to his feet. "I'd do as much for you again." +</p> +<p> + The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull + felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators + clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example. + Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home, + shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours + as they passed. Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the + rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of + his friends. +</p> +<p> + The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him + for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw + things in the same light as reasonable folk. Venia was the first to + congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in + proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs. + Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial. +</p> + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + +***** This file should be named 12203-h.htm or 12203-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/2/0/12203/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: + https://www.gutenberg.org/GUTINDEX.ALL + + + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> diff --git a/old/12203-h/title.jpg b/old/12203-h/title.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8c4b3bd --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12203-h/title.jpg diff --git a/old/12203.txt b/old/12203.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc3fc4b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12203.txt @@ -0,0 +1,982 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Blundell's Improvement + Odd Craft, Part 3. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 29, 2004 [EBook #12203] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT + +Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself. The +cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot +sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open +window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged. From her +seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her +father--kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of +her two admirers--to maintain his politeness. + +"Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's +very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me." + +[Illustration: "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, +softly."] + +"I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick +Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her. + +Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said +the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it. + +"I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually. + +Neither gentleman made any comment. + +"I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child." + +The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the +sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat +his chair like a human limpet. Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he +remembered his tenacity. + +"The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round. + +"Beautiful," assented the sergeant. "I saw it yesterday." + +"Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then," +said the farmer. + +Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not +surprised. It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a +visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great +discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr. +Turnbull's. To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and +on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect +mine of information. He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the +heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest. Their +voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed +head bent closer to that of his listener. Relieved from his attentions, +Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado. + +Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was +powerless to prevent. Considering her limited opportunities, Miss +Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him. Even the sergeant +was amazed, and suspected her of long practice. + +"I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and +looking out of the window. + +"Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant. "It would be nice down by the +water." + +"I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate +daughter. "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he +wakes," she added, turning to Blundell. + +Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in +his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and +watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight. He was +half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in +arousing the farmer at once. + +It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with +Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some +pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible. + +"Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded. "Because I wasn't asked," +replied the other. + +Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully. "For a +great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's +surprising what a little pluck you've got." + +"I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell. + +"That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him +severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own +way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame--tame--" + +"Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully. + +"I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think +of. There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia +about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there. I thought it +was pretty near settled between you." + +"So did I," said Mr. Blundell. + +"You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow. You're all +muscle and no head." + +"I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I +get to bed." + +Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he +closed the door and came toward his friend again. + +"I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia," +he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself." + +"You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell. + +"Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply. "But she won't marry so +long as Venia is at home. It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of +it she'd keep single to prevent it. She's just that sort of girl." + +Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it. "Who is it?" he inquired. + +"Miss Sippet," was the reply. "She couldn't hold her own for half an +hour against Venia." + +Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five +minutes. + +"And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see, +she's struck with Daly. If she has him it'll be years and years before +they can marry. She seems crazy about heroes. She was talking to me the +other night about them. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was +talking about you." + +Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise. + +"Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull. "Of course, I stuck +up for you. I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into +danger. I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how +particular you was about damp sheets. Your housekeeper told me." + +"It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face. "I'll send that +old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet." + +"It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible +girl would appreciate it. Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told +her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin. She +said she liked dare-devils." + +"I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr. +Blundell. "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin. Why +can't they mind their own business?" + +Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright +position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose +and took one from the mantel-piece. + +"I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the +ingrate. "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you +would make. Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things-- +and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether +you used a warming-pan." + +[Illustration: "She asked me whether you used a warming-pan."] + +Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the +formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the +door violently behind him. He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly +as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a +devoted mother without thinking for himself. + +For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to +put in an appearance at the farm--a fact which made flirtation with the +sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business. Her sole recompense was the +dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages +of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting- +sergeant. + +"She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he +was trying to spur on to a desperate effort. "I've been watching her +close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic. You're too slow and +ordinary for her. She wants somebody more dazzling. She told Daly only +yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes. Told it to him to his face. +I sat there and heard her. It's a pity you ain't a hero, John." + +"Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something +else." + +The other shook his head. "If you could only do something daring," he +murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see +you do it. Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from +drowning?" + +"Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in." + +"You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested +Mr. Turnbull. + +"And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart. + +"You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr. +Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before." + +"I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell. "I'm +not much of a swimmer, but--" + +"All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more +daring." + +"And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man, +gloomily. + +Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up +and down the room. His brows were knitted and his lips pursed. In the +presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful +silence. + +"We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr. +Turnbull, at last. + +"On the chance?" inquired his staring friend. + +"On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall +in." + +"He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell, +unpleasantly. + +"He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr. +Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble." + +"I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell. "I don't know +anybody more sure-footed than I am." + +"Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull. + +Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his +friend had been drinking. + +"Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort +"stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody. You trip your foot +against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you +off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him. He can't swim a +stroke." + +Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze. + +"There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon," +continued his instructor. "You'll have half Dunchurch round you, +praising you and patting you on the back--all in front of Venia, mind +you. It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal." + +"And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly. + +"Drowned? Fiddlesticks !" said Mr. Turnbull. "However, please +yourself. If you're afraid----" + +"I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly. + +"And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing +your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be. And +when you're on the quay take your time about coming round. Be longer +than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity." + +"All right," said the other. + +"After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if +I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again. Work +it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts." + +"It sounds all right," said Blundell. + +"It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull. "That's just the bare idea I've +given you. It's for you to improve upon it. You've got two days to +think about it." + +Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little +else. Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a +comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday +afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's. + +The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the +window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair, +regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago. + +"We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as +Blundell entered. + +"What! a hot day like this?" said Venia. + +"I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the +sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's +performance. + +"It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of +facts; "much cooler when you get used to it." + +He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much +as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed. The sun +was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on +the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon +promenade. The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against +the stone sides. + +At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped, +ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the +distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the +after-noon's business. The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it +was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two +young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments. + +Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened. The ship +was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company +lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath +her father's very nose. + +"You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr. +Turnbull. + +"I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly. + +"Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other. "I suppose you are +going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of +them will see you push him over." + +"It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on +your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements." + +"Well?" said the other. + +"It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've +been thinking. He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get +as much sympathy; perhaps more." + +"Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?" demanded Mr. +Turnbull. + +"No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved +somebody else. I don't want Daly to be pitied." + +"Bah! you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull. +"You're afraid of a little cold water." + +[Illustration: "Bah! you are backing out of it,' said the irritated Mr. +Turnbull."] + +"No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to +save somebody else. She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while +I am struggling for my life. I've thought it all out very carefully. I +know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a +thing, I do it. You ought to know that." + +"That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push +in?" + +"That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely. "Don't you worry about that; +I shall find somebody." + +Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay. As a +rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this +occasion he had his doubts. + +"Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly. "I give it up. It seems-- +Halloa! Good heavens, be careful. You nearly had me in then." + +"Did I?" said Blundell, thickly. "I'm very sorry." + +Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a +grudging spirit and trudged along in silence. Then he started nervously +as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him. It was an +incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was +nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from +significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward +friend. + +"It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly. + +"I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer +this side. You very near had me over just now." + +"I staggered," said Mr. Blundell. + +"Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with +a shudder. "That would have been a nice how d'ye do." + +Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward. "Accidents will happen," he +murmured. + +They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they +turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease +with which he bore off Venia. Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some +little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat +lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside +place. He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in +vain. + +"What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly +came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour. + +"Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly. "I never saw such a monster. It +must be a yard across." + +Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell +pointed it out with his finger he had no better success. He stepped +forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand +was laid caressingly on his shoulder. The next moment, with a wild +shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared. Venia and the +sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which +ensued on his immersion. + +[Illustration: "With a wild shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and +disappeared."] + +"Oh, save him!" cried Venia. + +The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull +came to the surface and disappeared again. At the same moment Blundell, +who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly +to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar. + +"Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep +still or I'll let you go." + +"Help!" choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which +had collected on the quay. + +A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of +the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm. John +Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of +fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman +below the surface again. By the time they came up he was very glad for +his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and +be drawn gently to the side. + +"I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the +line." + +Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to +regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps. +Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the +quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt +water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell. +Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed +to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman, +with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a +barrel. + +"He--he--push--pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull. + +Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe, +was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell. + +"He--he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull. + +"Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round. + +"He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull. "He pushed me in." + +"Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can +you?" + +"Shame!" said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for +signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell. He lay still with +his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a +rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him +more good than anything. + +"Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye." + +Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand. + +"He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the +faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions. "He +pushed me in." + +There was an angry murmur from the bystanders. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply. + +"He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman. "As plucky +a thing as ever I see. If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line +you'd both ha' been drownded." + +"Give--my love--to everybody," said Blundell, faintly. "Good-bye, Venia. +Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull." + +"Where's that barrel?" demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply. "Going +to be all night with it? Now, two of you----" + +Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the +sergeant, sat up. He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no +desire to spoil it by riding the barrel. With one exception, everybody +was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration. The exception's eyes were, +perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them. + +"You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping. "I +tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose." + +"Oh, father! how can you?" demanded Venia, angrily. "He saved your +life." + +"He pushed me in," repeated the farmer. "Told me to look at a jelly-fish +and pushed me in." + +"What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly. + +"Because--" said Mr. Turnbull. He looked at the unconscious sergeant, +and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl. + +"What for?" pursued the sergeant, in triumph. "Be reasonable, Mr. +Turnbull. Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly +losing his life saving you? That would be a fool's trick. It was as +fine a thing as ever I saw." + +"What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on +the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun." + +"What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went." + +"As easy as easy," said a third. + +"You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him +critically, "and your eyes are starting. You take my advice and get 'ome +and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses +back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for +you." + +[Illustration: "You take my advice and get 'ome and get to bed."] + +Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew +misty before his angry eyes. One man, ignoring his sodden condition, +recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow. + +"I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was +assisted to his feet. "I'd do as much for you again." + +The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull +felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators +clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example. +Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home, +shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours +as they passed. Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the +rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of +his friends. + +The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him +for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw +things in the same light as reasonable folk. Venia was the first to +congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in +proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs. +Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. 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