1 files changed, 563 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/12203-0.txt b/12203-0.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ce92623
--- /dev/null
+++ b/12203-0.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,563 @@
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12203 ***
+
+ODD CRAFT
+
+By W.W. Jacobs
+
+
+
+BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT
+
+Venia Turnbull in a quiet, unobtrusive fashion was enjoying herself.  The
+cool living-room at Turnbull's farm was a delightful contrast to the hot
+sunshine without, and the drowsy humming of bees floating in at the open
+window was charged with hints of slumber to the middle-aged.  From her
+seat by the window she watched with amused interest the efforts of her
+father--kept from his Sunday afternoon nap by the assiduous attentions of
+her two admirers--to maintain his politeness.
+
+"Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said, softly; "it's
+very dull for him here of an afternoon with only me."
+
+[Illustration: "Father was so pleased to see you both come in," she said,
+softly."]
+
+"I can't imagine anybody being dull with only you," said Sergeant Dick
+Daly, turning a bold brown eye upon her.
+
+Mr. John Blundell scowled; this was the third time the sergeant had said
+the thing that he would have liked to say if he had thought of it.
+
+"I don't mind being dull," remarked Mr. Turnbull, casually.
+
+Neither gentleman made any comment.
+
+"I like it," pursued Mr. Turnbull, longingly; "always did, from a child."
+
+The two young men looked at each other; then they looked at Venia; the
+sergeant assumed an expression of careless ease, while John Blundell sat
+his chair like a human limpet.  Mr. Turnbull almost groaned as he
+remembered his tenacity.
+
+"The garden's looking very nice," he said, with a pathetic glance round.
+
+"Beautiful," assented the sergeant.  "I saw it yesterday."
+
+"Some o' the roses on that big bush have opened a bit more since then,"
+said the farmer.
+
+Sergeant Daly expressed his gratification, and said that he was not
+surprised.  It was only ten days since he had arrived in the village on a
+visit to a relative, but in that short space of time he had, to the great
+discomfort of Mr. Blundell, made himself wonderfully at home at Mr.
+Turnbull's.  To Venia he related strange adventures by sea and land, and
+on subjects of which he was sure the farmer knew nothing he was a perfect
+mine of information.  He began to talk in low tones to Venia, and the
+heart of Mr. Blundell sank within him as he noted her interest.  Their
+voices fell to a gentle murmur, and the sergeant's sleek, well-brushed
+head bent closer to that of his listener.  Relieved from his attentions,
+Mr. Turnbull fell asleep without more ado.
+
+Blundell sat neglected, the unwilling witness of a flirtation he was
+powerless to prevent.  Considering her limited opportunities, Miss
+Turnbull displayed a proficiency which astonished him.  Even the sergeant
+was amazed, and suspected her of long practice.
+
+"I wonder whether it is very hot outside?" she said, at last, rising and
+looking out of the window.
+
+"Only pleasantly warm," said the sergeant.  "It would be nice down by the
+water."
+
+"I'm afraid of disturbing father by our talk," said the considerate
+daughter.  "You might tell him we've gone for a little stroll when he
+wakes," she added, turning to Blundell.
+
+Mr. Blundell, who had risen with the idea of acting the humble but, in
+his opinion, highly necessary part of chaperon, sat down again and
+watched blankly from the window until they were out of sight.  He was
+half inclined to think that the exigencies of the case warranted him in
+arousing the farmer at once.
+
+It was an hour later when the farmer awoke, to find himself alone with
+Mr. Blundell, a state of affairs for which he strove with some
+pertinacity to make that aggrieved gentleman responsible.
+
+"Why didn't you go with them?" he demanded.  "Because I wasn't asked,"
+replied the other.
+
+Mr. Turnbull sat up in his chair and eyed him disdainfully.  "For a
+great, big chap like you are, John Blundell," he exclaimed, "it's
+surprising what a little pluck you've got."
+
+"I don't want to go where I'm not wanted," retorted Mr. Blundell.
+
+"That's where you make a mistake," said the other, regarding him
+severely; "girls like a masterful man, and, instead of getting your own
+way, you sit down quietly and do as you're told, like a tame--tame--"
+
+"Tame what?" inquired Mr. Blundell, resentfully.
+
+"I don't know," said the other, frankly; "the tamest thing you can think
+of.  There's Daly laughing in his sleeve at you, and talking to Venia
+about Waterloo and the Crimea as though he'd been there.  I thought it
+was pretty near settled between you."
+
+"So did I," said Mr. Blundell.
+
+"You're a big man, John," said the other, "but you're slow.  You're all
+muscle and no head."
+
+"I think of things afterward," said Blundell, humbly; "generally after I
+get to bed."
+
+Mr. Turnbull sniffed, and took a turn up and down the room; then he
+closed the door and came toward his friend again.
+
+"I dare say you're surprised at me being so anxious to get rid of Venia,"
+he said, slowly, "but the fact is I'm thinking of marrying again myself."
+
+"You!" said the startled Mr. Blundell.
+
+"Yes, me," said the other, somewhat sharply.  "But she won't marry so
+long as Venia is at home.  It's a secret, because if Venia got to hear of
+it she'd keep single to prevent it.  She's just that sort of girl."
+
+Mr. Blundell coughed, but did not deny it.  "Who is it?"  he inquired.
+
+"Miss Sippet," was the reply.  "She couldn't hold her own for half an
+hour against Venia."
+
+Mr. Blundell, a great stickler for accuracy, reduced the time to five
+minutes.
+
+"And now," said the aggrieved Mr. Turnbull, "now, so far as I can see,
+she's struck with Daly.  If she has him it'll be years and years before
+they can marry.  She seems crazy about heroes.  She was talking to me the
+other night about them.  Not to put too fine a point on it, she was
+talking about you."
+
+Mr. Blundell blushed with pleased surprise.
+
+"Said you were not a hero," explained Mr. Turnbull.  "Of course, I stuck
+up for you.  I said you'd got too much sense to go putting your life into
+danger.  I said you were a very careful man, and I told her how
+particular you was about damp sheets.  Your housekeeper told me."
+
+"It's all nonsense," said Blundell, with a fiery face.  "I'll send that
+old fool packing if she can't keep her tongue quiet."
+
+"It's very sensible of you, John," said Mr. Turnbull, "and a sensible
+girl would appreciate it.  Instead of that, she only sniffed when I told
+her how careful you always were to wear flannel next to your skin.  She
+said she liked dare-devils."
+
+"I suppose she thinks Daly is a dare-devil," said the offended Mr.
+Blundell.  "And I wish people wouldn't talk about me and my skin.  Why
+can't they mind their own business?"
+
+Mr. Turnbull eyed him indignantly, and then, sitting in a very upright
+position, slowly filled his pipe, and declining a proffered match rose
+and took one from the mantel-piece.
+
+"I was doing the best I could for you," he said, staring hard at the
+ingrate.  "I was trying to make Venia see what a careful husband you
+would make.  Miss Sippet herself is most particular about such things--
+and Venia seemed to think something of it, because she asked me whether
+you used a warming-pan."
+
+[Illustration: "She asked me whether you used a warming-pan."]
+
+Mr. Blundell got up from his chair and, without going through the
+formality of bidding his host good-by, quitted the room and closed the
+door violently behind him.  He was red with rage, and he brooded darkly
+as he made his way home on the folly of carrying on the traditions of a
+devoted mother without thinking for himself.
+
+For the next two or three days, to Venia's secret concern, he failed to
+put in an appearance at the farm--a fact which made flirtation with the
+sergeant a somewhat uninteresting business.  Her sole recompense was the
+dismay of her father, and for his benefit she dwelt upon the advantages
+of the Army in a manner that would have made the fortune of a recruiting-
+sergeant.
+
+"She's just crazy after the soldiers," he said to Mr. Blundell, whom he
+was trying to spur on to a desperate effort.  "I've been watching her
+close, and I can see what it is now; she's romantic.  You're too slow and
+ordinary for her.  She wants somebody more dazzling.  She told Daly only
+yesterday afternoon that she loved heroes.  Told it to him to his face.
+I sat there and heard her.  It's a pity you ain't a hero, John."
+
+"Yes," said Mr. Blundell; "then, if I was, I expect she'd like something
+else."
+
+The other shook his head.  "If you could only do something daring," he
+murmured; "half-kill some-body, or save somebody's life, and let her see
+you do it.  Couldn't you dive off the quay and save some-body's life from
+drowning?"
+
+"Yes, I could," said Blundell, "if somebody would only tumble in."
+
+"You might pretend that you thought you saw somebody drowning," suggested
+Mr. Turnbull.
+
+"And be laughed at," said Mr. Blundell, who knew his Venia by heart.
+
+"You always seem to be able to think of objections," complained Mr.
+Turnbull; "I've noticed that in you before."
+
+"I'd go in fast enough if there was anybody there," said Blundell.  "I'm
+not much of a swimmer, but--"
+
+"All the better," interrupted the other; "that would make it all the more
+daring."
+
+"And I don't much care if I'm drowned," pursued the younger man,
+gloomily.
+
+Mr. Turnbull thrust his hands in his pockets and took a turn or two up
+and down the room.  His brows were knitted and his lips pursed.  In the
+presence of this mental stress Mr. Blundell preserved a respectful
+silence.
+
+"We'll all four go for a walk on the quay on Sunday afternoon," said Mr.
+Turnbull, at last.
+
+"On the chance?" inquired his staring friend.
+
+"On the chance," assented the other; "it's just possible Daly might fall
+in."
+
+"He might if we walked up and down five million times," said Blundell,
+unpleasantly.
+
+"He might if we walked up and down three or four times," said Mr.
+Turnbull, "especially if you happened to stumble."
+
+"I never stumble," said the matter-of-fact Mr. Blundell.  "I don't know
+anybody more sure-footed than I am."
+
+"Or thick-headed," added the exasperated Mr. Turnbull.
+
+Mr. Blundell regarded him patiently; he had a strong suspicion that his
+friend had been drinking.
+
+"Stumbling," said Mr. Turnbull, conquering his annoyance with an effort
+"stumbling is a thing that might happen to anybody.  You trip your foot
+against a stone and lurch up against Daly; he tumbles overboard, and you
+off with your jacket and dive in off the quay after him.  He can't swim a
+stroke."
+
+Mr. Blundell caught his breath and gazed at him in speechless amaze.
+
+"There's sure to be several people on the quay if it's a fine afternoon,"
+continued his instructor.  "You'll have half Dunchurch round you,
+praising you and patting you on the back--all in front of Venia, mind
+you.  It'll be put in all the papers and you'll get a medal."
+
+"And suppose we are both drowned?" said Mr. Blundell, soberly.
+
+"Drowned?  Fiddlesticks !"  said Mr. Turnbull.  "However, please
+yourself.  If you're afraid----"
+
+"I'll do it," said Blundell, decidedly.
+
+"And mind," said the other, "don't do it as if it's as easy as kissing
+your fingers; be half-drowned yourself, or at least pretend to be.  And
+when you're on the quay take your time about coming round.  Be longer
+than Daly is; you don't want him to get all the pity."
+
+"All right," said the other.
+
+"After a time you can open your eyes," went on his instructor; "then, if
+I were you, I should say, 'Good-bye, Venia,' and close 'em again.  Work
+it up affecting, and send messages to your aunts."
+
+"It sounds all right," said Blundell.
+
+"It is all right," said Mr. Turnbull.  "That's just the bare idea I've
+given you.  It's for you to improve upon it.  You've got two days to
+think about it."
+
+Mr. Blundell thanked him, and for the next two days thought of little
+else.  Being a careful man he made his will, and it was in a
+comparatively cheerful frame of mind that he made his way on Sunday
+afternoon to Mr. Turnbull's.
+
+The sergeant was already there conversing in low tones with Venia by the
+window, while Mr. Turnbull, sitting opposite in an oaken armchair,
+regarded him with an expression which would have shocked Iago.
+
+"We were just thinking of having a blow down by the water," he said, as
+Blundell entered.
+
+"What! a hot day like this?"  said Venia.
+
+"I was just thinking how beautifully cool it is in here," said the
+sergeant, who was hoping for a repetition of the previous Sunday's
+performance.
+
+"It's cooler outside," said Mr. Turnbull, with a wilful ignoring of
+facts; "much cooler when you get used to it."
+
+He led the way with Blundell, and Venia and the sergeant, keeping as much
+as possible in the shade of the dust-powdered hedges, followed.  The sun
+was blazing in the sky, and scarce half-a-dozen people were to be seen on
+the little curved quay which constituted the usual Sunday afternoon
+promenade.  The water, a dozen feet below, lapped cool and green against
+the stone sides.
+
+At the extreme end of the quay, underneath the lantern, they all stopped,
+ostensibly to admire a full-rigged ship sailing slowly by in the
+distance, but really to effect the change of partners necessary to the
+after-noon's business.  The change gave Mr. Turnbull some trouble ere it
+was effected, but he was successful at last, and, walking behind the two
+young men, waited somewhat nervously for developments.
+
+Twice they paraded the length of the quay and nothing happened.  The ship
+was still visible, and, the sergeant halting to gaze at it, the company
+lost their formation, and he led the complaisant Venia off from beneath
+her father's very nose.
+
+"You're a pretty manager, you are, John Blundell," said the incensed Mr.
+Turnbull.
+
+"I know what I'm about," said Blundell, slowly.
+
+"Well, why don't you do it?" demanded the other.  "I suppose you are
+going to wait until there are more people about, and then perhaps some of
+them will see you push him over."
+
+"It isn't that," said Blundell, slowly, "but you told me to improve on
+your plan, you know, and I've been thinking out improvements."
+
+"Well?" said the other.
+
+"It doesn't seem much good saving Daly," said Blundell; "that's what I've
+been thinking.  He would be in as much danger as I should, and he'd get
+as much sympathy; perhaps more."
+
+"Do you mean to tell me that you are backing out of it?"  demanded Mr.
+Turnbull.
+
+"No," said Blundell, slowly, "but it would be much better if I saved
+somebody else.  I don't want Daly to be pitied."
+
+"Bah!  you are backing out of it," said the irritated Mr. Turnbull.
+"You're afraid of a little cold water."
+
+[Illustration: "Bah! you are backing out of it,' said the irritated Mr.
+Turnbull."]
+
+"No, I'm not," said Blundell; "but it would be better in every way to
+save somebody else.  She'll see Daly standing there doing nothing, while
+I am struggling for my life.  I've thought it all out very carefully.  I
+know I'm not quick, but I'm sure, and when I make up my mind to do a
+thing, I do it.  You ought to know that."
+
+"That's all very well," said the other; "but who else is there to push
+in?"
+
+"That's all right," said Blundell, vaguely.  "Don't you worry about that;
+I shall find somebody."
+
+Mr. Turnbull turned and cast a speculative eye along the quay.  As a
+rule, he had great confidence in Blundell's determination, but on this
+occasion he had his doubts.
+
+"Well, it's a riddle to me," he said, slowly.  "I give it up.  It seems--
+Halloa!  Good heavens, be careful.  You nearly had me in then."
+
+"Did I?"  said Blundell, thickly.  "I'm very sorry."
+
+Mr. Turnbull, angry at such carelessness, accepted the apology in a
+grudging spirit and trudged along in silence.  Then he started nervously
+as a monstrous and unworthy suspicion occurred to him.  It was an
+incredible thing to suppose, but at the same time he felt that there was
+nothing like being on the safe side, and in tones not quite free from
+significance he intimated his desire of changing places with his awkward
+friend.
+
+"It's all right," said Blundell, soothingly.
+
+"I know it is," said Mr. Turnbull, regarding him fixedly; "but I prefer
+this side.  You very near had me over just now."
+
+"I staggered," said Mr. Blundell.
+
+"Another inch and I should have been overboard," said Mr. Turnbull, with
+a shudder.  "That would have been a nice how d'ye do."
+
+Mr. Blundell coughed and looked seaward.  "Accidents will happen," he
+murmured.
+
+They reached the end of the quay again and stood talking, and when they
+turned once more the sergeant was surprised and gratified at the ease
+with which he bore off Venia.  Mr. Turnbull and Blundell followed some
+little way behind, and the former gentleman's suspicions were somewhat
+lulled by finding that his friend made no attempt to take the inside
+place.  He looked about him with interest for a likely victim, but in
+vain.
+
+"What are you looking at?" he demanded, impatiently, as Blundell suddenly
+came to a stop and gazed curiously into the harbour.
+
+"Jelly-fish," said the other, briefly.  "I never saw such a monster.  It
+must be a yard across."
+
+Mr. Turnbull stopped, but could see nothing, and even when Blundell
+pointed it out with his finger he had no better success.  He stepped
+forward a pace, and his suspicions returned with renewed vigour as a hand
+was laid caressingly on his shoulder.  The next moment, with a wild
+shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and disappeared.  Venia and the
+sergeant, turning hastily, were just in time to see the fountain which
+ensued on his immersion.
+
+[Illustration: "With a wild shriek, he shot suddenly over the edge and
+disappeared."]
+
+"Oh, save him!"  cried Venia.
+
+The sergeant ran to the edge and gazed in helpless dismay as Mr. Turnbull
+came to the surface and disappeared again.  At the same moment Blundell,
+who had thrown off his coat, dived into the harbour and, rising rapidly
+to the surface, caught the fast-choking Mr. Turnbull by the collar.
+
+"Keep still," he cried, sharply, as the farmer tried to clutch him; "keep
+still or I'll let you go."
+
+"Help!"  choked the farmer, gazing up at the little knot of people which
+had collected on the quay.
+
+A stout fisherman who had not run for thirty years came along the edge of
+the quay at a shambling trot, with a coil of rope over his arm.  John
+Blundell saw him and, mindful of the farmer's warning about kissing of
+fingers, etc., raised his disengaged arm and took that frenzied gentleman
+below the surface again.  By the time they came up he was very glad for
+his own sake to catch the line skilfully thrown by the old fisherman and
+be drawn gently to the side.
+
+"I'll tow you to the steps," said the fisherman; "don't let go o' the
+line."
+
+Mr. Turnbull saw to that; he wound the rope round his wrist and began to
+regain his presence of mind as they were drawn steadily toward the steps.
+Willing hands drew them out of the water and helped them up on to the
+quay, where Mr. Turnbull, sitting in his own puddle, coughed up salt
+water and glared ferociously at the inanimate form of Mr. Blundell.
+Sergeant Daly and another man were rendering what they piously believed
+to be first aid to the apparently drowned, while the stout fisherman,
+with both hands to his mouth, was yelling in heart-rending accents for a
+barrel.
+
+"He--he--push--pushed me in," gasped the choking Mr. Turnbull.
+
+Nobody paid any attention to him; even Venia, seeing that he was safe,
+was on her knees by the side of the unconscious Blundell.
+
+"He--he's shamming," bawled the neglected Mr. Turnbull.
+
+"Shame!" said somebody, without even looking round.
+
+"He pushed me in," repeated Mr. Turnbull.  "He pushed me in."
+
+"Oh, father," said Venia, with a scandalised glance at him, "how can
+you?"
+
+"Shame!"  said the bystanders, briefly, as they, watched anxiously for
+signs of returning life on the part of Mr. Blundell.  He lay still with
+his eyes closed, but his hearing was still acute, and the sounds of a
+rapidly approaching barrel trundled by a breathless Samaritan did him
+more good than anything.
+
+"Good-bye, Venia," he said, in a faint voice; "good-bye."
+
+Miss Turnbull sobbed and took his hand.
+
+"He's shamming," roared Mr. Turnbull, incensed beyond measure at the
+faithful manner in which Blundell was carrying out his instructions.  "He
+pushed me in."
+
+There was an angry murmur from the bystanders.  "Be reasonable, Mr.
+Turnbull," said the sergeant, somewhat sharply.
+
+"He nearly lost 'is life over you," said the stout fisherman.  "As plucky
+a thing as ever I see.  If I 'adn't ha' been 'andy with that there line
+you'd both ha' been drownded."
+
+"Give--my love--to everybody," said Blundell, faintly.  "Good-bye, Venia.
+Good-bye, Mr. Turnbull."
+
+"Where's that barrel?"  demanded the stout fisher-man, crisply.  "Going
+to be all night with it?  Now, two of you----"
+
+Mr. Blundell, with a great effort, and assisted by Venia and the
+sergeant, sat up.  He felt that he had made a good impression, and had no
+desire to spoil it by riding the barrel.  With one exception, everybody
+was regarding him with moist-eyed admiration.  The exception's eyes were,
+perhaps, the moistest of them all, but admiration had no place in them.
+
+"You're all being made fools of," he said, getting up and stamping.  "I
+tell you he pushed me over-board for the purpose."
+
+"Oh, father!  how can you?"  demanded Venia, angrily.  "He saved your
+life."
+
+"He pushed me in," repeated the farmer.  "Told me to look at a jelly-fish
+and pushed me in."
+
+"What for?" inquired Sergeant Daly.
+
+"Because--" said Mr. Turnbull.  He looked at the unconscious sergeant,
+and the words on his lips died away in an inarticulate growl.
+
+"What for?"  pursued the sergeant, in triumph.  "Be reasonable, Mr.
+Turnbull.  Where's the reason in pushing you overboard and then nearly
+losing his life saving you?  That would be a fool's trick.  It was as
+fine a thing as ever I saw."
+
+"What you 'ad, Mr. Turnbull," said the stout fisherman, tapping him on
+the arm, "was a little touch o' the sun."
+
+"What felt to you like a push," said another man, "and over you went."
+
+"As easy as easy," said a third.
+
+"You're red in the face now," said the stout fisherman, regarding him
+critically, "and your eyes are starting.  You take my advice and get 'ome
+and get to bed, and the first thing you'll do when you get your senses
+back will be to go round and thank Mr. Blundell for all 'e's done for
+you."
+
+[Illustration: "You take my advice and get 'ome and get to bed."]
+
+Mr. Turnbull looked at them, and the circle of intelligent faces grew
+misty before his angry eyes.  One man, ignoring his sodden condition,
+recommended a wet handkerchief tied round his brow.
+
+"I don't want any thanks, Mr. Turnbull," said Blundell, feebly, as he was
+assisted to his feet.  "I'd do as much for you again."
+
+The stout fisherman patted him admiringly on the back, and Mr. Turnbull
+felt like a prophet beholding a realised vision as the spectators
+clustered round Mr. Blundell and followed their friends' example.
+Tenderly but firmly they led the hero in triumph up the quay toward home,
+shouting out eulogistic descriptions of his valour to curious neighbours
+as they passed.  Mr. Turnbull, churlishly keeping his distance in the
+rear of the procession, received in grim silence the congratulations of
+his friends.
+
+The extraordinary hallucination caused by the sun-stroke lasted with him
+for over a week, but at the end of that time his mind cleared and he saw
+things in the same light as reasonable folk.  Venia was the first to
+congratulate him upon his recovery; but his extraordinary behaviour in
+proposing to Miss Sippet the very day on which she herself became Mrs.
+Blundell convinced her that his recovery was only partial.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Blundell's Improvement, by W.W. Jacobs
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12203 ***