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diff --git a/old/12205.txt b/old/12205.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d2de1a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12205.txt @@ -0,0 +1,961 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lawyer Quince, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Lawyer Quince + Odd Craft, Part 5. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 29, 2004 [EBook #12205] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAWYER QUINCE *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +LAWYER QUINCE + +Lawyer Quince, so called by his neighbours in Little Haven from his +readiness at all times to place at their disposal the legal lore he had +acquired from a few old books while following his useful occupation of +making boots, sat in a kind of wooden hutch at the side of his cottage +plying his trade. The London coach had gone by in a cloud of dust some +three hours before, and since then the wide village street had slumbered +almost undisturbed in the sunshine. + +[Illustration: "Lawyer Quince."] + +Hearing footsteps and the sound of voices raised in dispute caused him to +look up from his work. Mr. Rose, of Holly Farm, Hogg, the miller, and +one or two neighbours of lesser degree appeared to be in earnest debate +over some point of unusual difficulty. + +Lawyer Quince took a pinch of snuff and bent to his work again. Mr. Rose +was one of the very few who openly questioned his legal knowledge, and +his gibes concerning it were only too frequent. Moreover, he had a taste +for practical joking, which to a grave man was sometimes offensive. + +"Well, here he be," said Mr. Hogg to the farmer, as the group halted in +front of the hutch. "Now ask Lawyer Quince and see whether I ain't told +you true. I'm willing to abide by what he says." + +Mr. Quince put down his hammer and, brushing a little snuff from his +coat, leaned back in his chair and eyed them with grave confidence. + +"It's like this," said the farmer. "Young Pascoe has been hanging round +after my girl Celia, though I told her she wasn't to have nothing to do +with him. Half an hour ago I was going to put my pony in its stable when +I see a young man sitting there waiting." + +"Well?" said Mr. Quince, after a pause. + +"He's there yet," said the farmer. "I locked him in, and Hogg here says +that I've got the right to keep him locked up there as long as I like. I +say it's agin the law, but Hogg he says no. I say his folks would come +and try to break open my stable, but Hogg says if they do I can have the +law of 'em for damaging my property." + +"So you can," interposed Mr. Hogg, firmly. "You see whether Lawyer +Quince don't say I'm right." + +Mr. Quince frowned, and in order to think more deeply closed his eyes. +Taking advantage of this three of his auditors, with remarkable +unanimity, each closed one. + +"It's your stable," said Mr. Quince, opening his eyes and speaking with +great deliberation, "and you have a right to lock it up when you like." + +"There you are," said Mr. Hogg; "what did I tell you?" + +"If anybody's there that's got no business there, that's his look-out," +continued Mr. Quince. "You didn't induce him to go in?" + +"Certainly not," replied the farmer. + +"I told him he can keep him there as long as he likes," said the jubilant +Mr. Hogg, "and pass him in bread and water through the winder; it's got +bars to it." + +"Yes," said Mr. Quince, nodding, "he can do that. As for his folks +knocking the place about, if you like to tie up one or two of them nasty, +savage dogs of yours to the stable, well, it's your stable, and you can +fasten your dogs to it if you like. And you've generally got a man about +the yard." + +Mr. Hogg smacked his thigh in ecstasy. + +"But--" began the farmer. + +"That's the law," said the autocratic Mr. Quince, sharply. "O' course, +if you think you know more about it than I do, I've nothing more to say." + +"I don't want to do nothing I could get into trouble for," murmured Mr. +Rose. + +"You can't get into trouble by doing as I tell you," said the shoemaker, +impatiently. "However, to be quite on the safe side, if I was in your +place I should lose the key." + +"Lose the key?" said the farmer, blankly. + +"Lose the key," repeated the shoemaker, his eyes watering with intense +appreciation of his own resourcefulness. "You can find it any time you +want to, you know. Keep him there till he promises to give up your +daughter, and tell him that as soon as he does you'll have a hunt for the +key." + +Mr. Rose regarded him with what the shoemaker easily understood to be +speechless admiration. + +"I--I'm glad I came to you," said the farmer, at last. + +"You're welcome," said the shoemaker, loftily. "I'm always ready to give +advice to them as require it." + +"And good advice it is," said the smiling Mr. Hogg. "Why don't you +behave yourself, Joe Garnham?" he demanded, turning fiercely on a +listener. + +Mr. Garnham, whose eyes were watering with emotion, attempted to explain, +but, becoming hysterical, thrust a huge red handkerchief to his mouth and +was led away by a friend. Mr. Quince regarded his departure with mild +disdain. + +"Little things please little minds," he remarked. + +"So they do," said Mr. Hogg. "I never thought--What's the matter with +you, George Askew?" + +Mr. Askew, turning his back on him, threw up his hands with a helpless +gesture and followed in the wake of Mr. Garnham. Mr. Hogg appeared to be +about to apologise, and then suddenly altering his mind made a hasty and +unceremonious exit, accompanied by the farmer. + +Mr. Quince raised his eyebrows and then, after a long and meditative +pinch of snuff, resumed his work. The sun went down and the light faded +slowly; distant voices sounded close on the still evening air, snatches +of hoarse laughter jarred upon his ears. It was clear that the story of +the imprisoned swain was giving pleasure to Little Haven. + +He rose at last from his chair and, stretching his long, gaunt frame, +removed his leather apron, and after a wash at the pump went into the +house. Supper was laid, and he gazed with approval on the home-made +sausage rolls, the piece of cold pork, and the cheese which awaited his +onslaught. + +"We won't wait for Ned," said Mrs. Quince, as she brought in a jug of ale +and placed it by her husband's elbow. + +Mr. Quince nodded and filled his glass. + +"You've been giving more advice, I hear," said Mrs. Quince. + +Her husband, who was very busy, nodded again. + +"It wouldn't make no difference to young Pascoe's chance, anyway," said +Mrs. Quince, thoughtfully. + +Mr. Quince continued his labours. "Why?" he inquired, at last. + +His wife smiled and tossed her head. + +"Young Pascoe's no chance against our Ned," she said, swelling with +maternal pride. + +"Eh?" said the shoemaker, laying down his knife and fork. "Our Ned?" + +"They are as fond of each other as they can be," said Mrs. Quince, +"though I don't suppose Farmer Rose'll care for it; not but what our +Ned's as good as he is." + +"Is Ned up there now?" demanded the shoemaker, turning pale, as the +mirthful face of Mr. Garnham suddenly occurred to him. + +"Sure to be," tittered his wife. "And to think o' poor young Pascoe shut +up in that stable while he's courting Celia!" + +Mr. Quince took up his knife and fork again, but his appetite had gone. +Whoever might be paying attention to Miss Rose at that moment he felt +quite certain that it was not Mr. Ned Quince, and he trembled with anger +as he saw the absurd situation into which the humorous Mr. Rose had led +him. For years Little Haven had accepted his decisions as final and +boasted of his sharpness to neighbouring hamlets, and many a cottager had +brought his boots to be mended a whole week before their time for the +sake of an interview. + +He moved his chair from the table and smoked a pipe. Then he rose, and +putting a couple of formidable law-books under his arm, walked slowly +down the road in the direction of Holly Farm. + +The road was very quiet and the White Swan, usually full at this hour, +was almost deserted, but if any doubts as to the identity of the prisoner +lingered in his mind they were speedily dissipated by the behaviour of +the few customers who crowded to the door to see him pass. + +A hum of voices fell on his ear as he approached the farm; half the male +and a goodly proportion of the female population of Little Haven were +leaning against the fence or standing in little knots in the road, while +a few of higher social status stood in the farm-yard itself. + +"Come down to have a look at the prisoner?" inquired the farmer, who was +standing surrounded by a little group of admirers. + +[Illustration: "'Come down to have a look at the prisoner?' inquired the +farmer."] + +"I came down to see you about that advice I gave you this afternoon," +said Mr. Quince. + +"Ah!" said the other. + +"I was busy when you came," continued Mr. Quince, in a voice of easy +unconcern, "and I gave you advice from memory. Looking up the subject +after you'd gone I found that I was wrong." + +"You don't say so?" said the farmer, uneasily. "If I've done wrong I'm +only doing what you told me I could do." + +"Mistakes will happen with the best of us," said the shoemaker, loudly, +for the benefit of one or two murmurers. "I've known a man to marry a +woman for her money before now and find out afterward that she hadn't got +any." + +One unit of the group detached itself and wandered listlessly toward the +gate. + +"Well, I hope I ain't done nothing wrong," said Mr. Rose, anxiously. +"You gave me the advice; there's men here as can prove it. I don't want +to do nothing agin the law. What had I better do?" + +"Well, if I was you," said Mr. Quince, concealing his satisfaction with +difficulty, "I should let him out at once and beg his pardon, and say you +hope he'll do nothing about it. I'll put in a word for you if you like +with old Pascoe." + +Mr. Rose coughed and eyed him queerly. + +"You're a Briton," he said, warmly. "I'll go and let him out at once." + +He strode off to the stable, despite the protests of Mr. Hogg, and, +standing by the door, appeared to be deep in thought; then he came back +slowly, feeling in his pockets as he walked. + +"William," he said, turning toward Mr. Hogg, "I s'pose you didn't happen +to notice where I put that key?" + +"That I didn't," said Mr. Hogg, his face clearing suddenly. + +"I had it in my hand not half an hour ago," said the agitated Mr. Rose, +thrusting one hand into his trouser-pocket and groping. "It can't be +far." + +Mr. Quince attempted to speak, and, failing, blew his nose violently. + +"My memory ain't what it used to be," said the farmer. "Howsomever, I +dare say it'll turn up in a day or two." + +"You--you'd better force the door," suggested Mr. Quince, struggling to +preserve an air of judicial calm. + +"No, no," said Mr. Rose; "I ain't going to damage my property like that. +I can lock my stable-door and unlock it when I like; if people get in +there as have no business there, it's their look-out." + +"That's law," said Mr. Hogg; "I'll eat my hat if it ain't." + +"Do you mean to tell me you've really lost the key?" demanded Mr. Quince, +eyeing the farmer sternly. + +"Seems like it," said Mr. Rose. "However, he won't come to no hurt. +I'll put in some bread and water for him, same as you advised me to." + +Mr. Quince mastered his wrath by an effort, and with no sign of +discomposure moved away without making any reference to the identity of +the unfortunate in the stable." + +"Good-night," said the farmer, "and thank you for coming and giving me +the fresh advice. It ain't everybody that 'ud ha' taken the trouble. +If I hadn't lost that key----" + +The shoemaker scowled, and with the two fat books under his arm passed +the listening neighbours with the air of a thoughtful man out for an +evening stroll. Once inside his house, however, his manner changed, the +attitude of Mrs. Quince demanding, at any rate, a show of concern. + +"It's no good talking," he said at last. "Ned shouldn't have gone there, +and as for going to law about it, I sha'n't do any such thing; I should +never hear the end of it. I shall just go on as usual, as if nothing had +happened, and when Rose is tired of keeping him there he must let him +out. I'll bide my time." + +Mrs. Quince subsided into vague mutterings as to what she would do if she +were a man, coupled with sundry aspersions upon the character, looks, and +family connections of Farmer Rose, which somewhat consoled her for being +what she was. + +"He has always made jokes about your advice," she said at length, "and +now everybody'll think he's right. I sha'n't be able to look anybody in +the face. I should have seen through it at once if it had been me. I'm +going down to give him a bit o' my mind." + +"You stay where you are," said Mr. Quince, sharply, "and, mind, you are +not to talk about it to anybody. Farmer Rose 'ud like nothing better +than to see us upset about it. I ain't done with him yet. You wait." + +Mrs. Quince, having no option, waited, but nothing happened. The +following day found Ned Quince still a prisoner, and, considering the +circumstances, remarkably cheerful. He declined point-blank to renounce +his preposterous attentions, and said that, living on the premises, he +felt half like a son-in-law already. He also complimented the farmer +upon the quality of his bread. + +The next morning found him still unsubdued, and, under interrogation from +the farmer, he admitted that he liked it, and said that the feeling of +being at home was growing upon him. + +"If you're satisfied, I am," said Mr. Rose, grimly. "I'll keep you here +till you promise; mind that." + +"It's a nobleman's life," said Ned, peeping through the window, "and I'm +beginning to like you as much as my real father." + +"I don't want none o' yer impudence," said the farmer, reddening. + +[Illustration: "'None o' yer impudence,' said the farmer."] + +"You'll like me better when you've had me here a little longer," said +Ned; "I shall grow on you. Why not be reasonable and make up your mind +to it? Celia and I have." + +"I'm going to send Celia away on Saturday," said Mr. Rose; "make yourself +happy and comfortable in here till then. If you'd like another crust o' +bread or an extra half pint o' water you've only got to mention it. When +she's gone I'll have a hunt for that key, so as you can go back to your +father and help him to understand his law-books better." + +He strode off with the air of a conqueror, and having occasion to go to +the village looked in at the shoe-maker's window as he passed and smiled +broadly. For years Little Haven had regarded Mr. Quince with awe, as +being far too dangerous a man for the lay mind to tamper with, and at one +stroke the farmer had revealed the hollowness of his pretensions. Only +that morning the wife of a labourer had called and asked him to hurry the +mending of a pair of boots. She was a voluble woman, and having overcome +her preliminary nervousness more than hinted that if he gave less time to +the law and more to his trade it would be better for himself and +everybody else. + +Miss Rose accepted her lot in a spirit of dutiful resignation, and on +Saturday morning after her father's admonition not to forget that the +coach left the White Swan at two sharp, set off to pay a few farewell +visits. By half-past twelve she had finished, and Lawyer Quince becoming +conscious of a shadow on his work looked up to see her standing before +the window. He replied to a bewitching smile with a short nod and became +intent upon his work again. + +For a short time Celia lingered, then to his astonishment she opened the +gate and walked past the side of the house into the garden. With growing +astonishment he observed her enter his tool-shed and close the door +behind her. + +For ten minutes he worked on and then, curiosity getting the better of +him, he walked slowly to the tool-shed and, opening the door a little +way, peeped in. It was a small shed, crowded with agricultural +implements. The floor was occupied by an upturned wheelbarrow, and +sitting on the barrow, with her soft cheek leaning against the wall, sat +Miss Rose fast asleep. Mr. Quince coughed several times, each cough +being louder than the last, and then, treading softly, was about to +return to the workshop when the girl stirred and muttered in her sleep. +At first she was unintelligible, then he distinctly caught the words +"idiot" and "blockhead." + +"She's dreaming of somebody," said Mr. Quince to himself with conviction. + +"Wonder who it is?" + +"Can't see--a thing--under--his--nose," murmured the fair sleeper. + +"Celia!" said Mr. Quince, sharply. "Celia!" + +He took a hoe from the wall and prodded her gently with the handle. A +singularly vicious expression marred the soft features, but that was all. + +"Ce-lia!" said the shoemaker, who feared sun-stroke. + +"Fancy if he--had--a moment's common sense," murmured Celia, drowsily, +"and locked--the door." + +Lawyer Quince dropped the hoe with a clatter and stood regarding her +open-mouthed. He was a careful man with his property, and the stout door +boasted a good lock. He sped to the house on tip-toe, and taking the key +from its nail on the kitchen dresser returned to the shed, and after +another puzzled glance at the sleeping girl locked her in. + +For half an hour he sat in silent enjoyment of the situation--enjoyment +which would have been increased if he could have seen Mr. Rose standing +at the gate of Holly Farm, casting anxious glances up and down the road. +Celia's luggage had gone down to the White Swan, and an excellent cold +luncheon was awaiting her attention in the living-room. + +Half-past one came and no Celia, and five minutes later two farm +labourers and a boy lumbered off in different directions in search of the +missing girl, with instructions that she was to go straight to the White +Swan to meet the coach. The farmer himself walked down to the inn, +turning over in his mind a heated lecture composed for the occasion, but +the coach came and, after a cheerful bustle and the consumption of sundry +mugs of beer, sped on its way again. + +He returned home in silent consternation, seeking in vain for a +satisfactory explanation of the mystery. For a robust young woman to +disappear in broad day-light and leave no trace behind her was +extraordinary. Then a sudden sinking sensation in the region of the +waistcoat and an idea occurred simultaneously. + +He walked down to the village again, the idea growing steadily all the +way. Lawyer Quince was hard at work, as usual, as he passed. He went by +the window three times and gazed wistfully at the cottage. Coming to the +conclusion at last that two heads were better than one in such a +business, he walked on to the mill and sought Mr. Hogg. + +"That's what it is," said the miller, as he breathed his suspicions. +"I thought all along Lawyer Quince would have the laugh of you. He's +wonderful deep. Now, let's go to work cautious like. Try and look as if +nothing had happened." + +[Illustration: "I thought all along Lawyer Quince would have the laugh of +you."] + +Mr. Rose tried. + +"Try agin," said the miller, with some severity. "Get the red out o' +your face and let your eyes go back and don't look as though you're going +to bite somebody." + +Mr. Rose swallowed an angry retort, and with an attempt at careless ease +sauntered up the road with the miller to the shoemaker's. Lawyer Quince +was still busy, and looked up inquiringly as they passed before him. + +"I s'pose," said the diplomatic Mr. Hogg, who was well acquainted with +his neighbour's tidy and methodical habits--"I s'pose you couldn't lend +me your barrow for half an hour? The wheel's off mine." + +Mr. Quince hesitated, and then favoured him with a glance intended to +remind him of his scurvy behaviour three days before. + +"You can have it," he said at last, rising. + +Mr. Hogg pinched his friend in his excitement, and both watched Mr. +Quince with bated breath as he took long, slow strides toward the +tool-shed. He tried the door and then went into the house, and even +before his reappearance both gentlemen knew only too well what was about +to happen. Red was all too poor a word to apply to Mr. Rose's +countenance as the shoemaker came toward them, feeling in his waist-coat +pocket with hooked fingers and thumb, while Mr. Hogg's expressive +features were twisted into an appearance of rosy appreciation. + +"Did you want the barrow very particular?" inquired the shoemaker, in a +regretful voice. + +"Very particular," said Mr. Hogg. + +Mr. Quince went through the performance of feeling in all his pockets, +and then stood meditatively rubbing his chin. + +"The door's locked," he said, slowly, "and what I've done with that there +key----" + +"You open that door," vociferated Mr. Rose, "else I'll break it in. +You've got my daughter in that shed and I'm going to have her out." + +"Your daughter?" said Mr. Quince, with an air of faint surprise. "What +should she be doing in my shed?" + +"You let her out," stormed Mr. Rose, trying to push past him. + +"Don't trespass on my premises," said Lawyer Quince, interposing his +long, gaunt frame. "If you want that door opened you'll have to wait +till my boy Ned comes home. I expect he knows where to find the key." + +Mr. Rose's hands fell limply by his side and his tongue, turning prudish, +refused its office. He turned and stared at Mr. Hogg in silent +consternation. + +"Never known him to be beaten yet," said that admiring weather-cock. + +"Ned's been away three days," said the shoemaker, "but I expect him home +soon." + +Mr. Rose made a strange noise in his throat and then, accepting his +defeat, set off at a rapid pace in the direction of home. In a +marvellously short space of time, considering his age and figure, he was +seen returning with Ned Quince, flushed and dishevelled, walking by his +side. + +"Here he is," said the farmer. "Now where's that key?" + +Lawyer Quince took his son by the arm and led him into the house, from +whence they almost immediately emerged with Ned waving the key. + +"I thought it wasn't far," said the sapient Mr. Hogg. + +Ned put the key in the lock and flinging the door open revealed Celia +Rose, blinking and confused in the sudden sunshine. She drew back as she +saw her father and began to cry with considerable fervour. + +"How did you get in that shed, miss?" demanded her parent, stamping. + +[Illustration: "'How did you get in that shed?' demanded her parent."] + +Miss Rose trembled. + +"I--I went there," she sobbed. "I didn't want to go away." + +"Well, you'd better stay there," shouted the over-wrought Mr. Rose. +"I've done with you. A girl that 'ud turn against her own father I--I--" + +He drove his right fist into his left palm and stamped out into the road. +Lawyer Quince and Mr. Hogg, after a moment's hesitation, followed. + +"The laugh's agin you, farmer," said the latter gentleman, taking his +arm. + +Mr. Rose shook him off. + +"Better make the best of it," continued the peace-maker. + +"She's a girl to be proud of," said Lawyer Quince, keeping pace with the +farmer on the other side. "She's got a head that's worth yours and mine +put together, with Hogg's thrown in as a little makeweight." + +"And here's the White Swan," said Mr. Hogg, who had a hazy idea of a +compliment, "and all of us as dry as a bone. Why not all go in and have +a glass to shut folks' mouths?" + +"And cry quits," said the shoemaker. + +"And let bygones be bygones," said Mr. Hogg, taking the farmer's arm +again. + +Mr. Rose stopped and shook his head obstinately, and then, under the +skilful pilotage of Mr. Hogg, was steered in the direction of the +hospitable doors of the White Swan. He made a last bid for liberty on +the step and then disappeared inside. Lawyer Quince brought up the rear. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lawyer Quince, by W.W. 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