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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:41:51 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:41:51 -0700 |
| commit | 69b7dd220fc797e46559289dca0f85bf9306074f (patch) | |
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diff --git a/13313-h/13313-h.htm b/13313-h/13313-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a1b4530 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/13313-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1892 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> +<head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" /> + + <title>Punch, May 9, 1891.</title> + <style type="text/css"> + /*<![CDATA[*/ + + <!-- + body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + } + p { + text-align : justify; + } + blockquote { + text-align : justify; + } + h1 , h2 , h3 , h4 , h5 , h6 { + text-align : center; + } + pre { + font-size : 0.7em; + } + hr { + text-align : center; + width : 50%; + } + html > body hr { + margin-right : 25%; + margin-left : 25%; + width : 50%; + } + hr.full { + width : 100%; + } + html > body hr.full { + margin-right : 0%; + margin-left : 0%; + width : 100%; + } + hr.short { + text-align : center; + width : 20%; + } + html > body hr.short { + margin-right : 40%; + margin-left : 40%; + width : 20%; + } + .author { + text-align : right; + margin-right : 5%; + margin-top : 0em; + } + .bracket { + margin-left : 10%; + text-indent : -2em; + } + .center { + text-align : center; + } + .note { + margin-left : 10%; + margin-right : 10%; + font-size : 0.9em; + } + .scene { + margin-left : 5%; + text-indent : -1.5em; + } + span.pagenum { + position : absolute; + left : 1%; + right : 91%; + font-size : 8pt; + } + .poem { + margin-left : 10%; + margin-right : 10%; + margin-bottom : 1em; + text-align : left; + } + .poem .stanza { + margin : 1em 0; + } + .poem p { + margin : 0; + padding-left : 3em; + text-indent : -3em; + } + .poem p.i2 { + margin-left : 1em; + } + .poem p.i4 { + margin-left : 2em; + } + .poem p.i6 { + margin-left : 3em; + } + .poem p.i8 { + margin-left : 4em; + } + .poem p.i10 { + margin-left : 5em; + } + .poem p.i16 { + margin-left : 8em; + } + .figure , .figcenter , .figright , .figleft { + padding : 1em; + margin : 0; + text-align : center; + font-size : 0.8em; + } + .figure img , .figcenter img , .figright img , .figleft img { + border : none; + } + .figure p , .figcenter p , .figright p , .figleft p { + margin : 0; + text-indent : 1em; + } + .figcenter { + margin : auto; + } + .figright { + float : right; + } + .figleft { + float : left; + } + --> + /*]]>*/ + </style> +</head> + +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13313 ***</div> + + <h1>PUNCH,<br /> + OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + + <h2>Vol. 100.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + + <h2>May 9, 1891.</h2> + <hr class="full" /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page217" + id="page217"></a>[pg 217]</span> + + <h2>A FIRST VISIT TO THE "NAVERIES."</h2> + + <p>"Shiver my timbers!" said the Scribe.</p> + + <p>"Haul down my yard-arm with a marling-spike!" cried the + Artist.</p> + + <p>And with these strictly nautical expressions, two of <i>Mr. + Punch's</i> Own entered the Royal Naval Exhibition, which now + occupies the larger portion of the grounds of the Military + Hospital, Chelsea. That so popular a show should be allowed to + occupy so large a site speaks wonders for the amiability of the + British Public. When the Sodgeries appeared last year, it was, + so to speak, with fear and trembling that "the powers that + were" appropriated a little of the ground usually over-run by + the Nobility and Gentry of the Pimlico Road and its vicinity; + or, rather, by their haughty offspring. This year the tough old + sea-dogs of the Admiralty have had no hesitation in taking what + they required, apparently without causing comment, much less + objection. And the result? In lieu of the dusty arena of 1890, + scarcely large enough for a ladies' cricket-match, there + appears in 1891 an enclosure containing lakes and lighthouses, + panoramas, and full-size models of men-of-war! And the Public + take their exclusion philosophically, either paying their + shillings at the door, or attempting to get a view of the hoofs + of the nautical horses through the gaps in the surrounding + hoardings.</p> + + <p>The Scribe and the Artist, having been ordered by He Who + Must Be Obeyed in the world generally, and at 85, Fleet Street, + in particular, to make a sort of preliminary cruise through the + wonders of the (Admiralty) Deep, hastened from the inviting + grounds into the main building, with its pictures, its plans, + and last, but (it is only just to say) least, its pickles. The + first object that attracted their favourable attention was a + trophy of arms, representing the fashions of the past and the + present. On one side were shrapnel and magazine rifles, on the + other flint-locks and the ordnance of an age long gone by. Next + they passed through the Arctic section, wherein they found + dummies drawing a sledge through the canvas snow of a + corded-off North Pole. Then they entered the Picture Galleries + called after NELSON and BENBOW, wherein magnificent paintings + by POWELL, full of smoke and action, served as an appropriate + background to the collection of plate, lent by that gallant + sailor-warrior and industrious collector of well-considered + trifles, H.R.H. the Duke of EDINBURGH. They glanced at the + relics of Trafalgar, and then hurried away to the HOWE Gallery, + which, containing as it did specimens of the implements used in + the game of golf, might have as appropriately been christened + the WHEREFORE. Next they skirted a corridor full of plans, and + here they discovered that the Committee of the Exhibition must + be wags, every Jack Tar of them! This corridor was close to the + Dining-rooms, and the Committee (ha! ha! ha!) had called it + (he! he! he!) after COOK! (Ho! ho! ho!) Oh, the wit of it! How + the Members of the Executive must have nudged one another in + the ribs as the quaint idea dawned upon them! And how they must + have laughed, too, on the Opening Day, when the Guard of + Honour, presenting arms, and the "Greenwich Boys" singing + "<i>Ye Mariners of England</i>," were drenched in the rain! And + what a capital notion it was on that occasion to put "the + Representatives of the Fourth Estate" (no doubt called by + <i>them</i>, with many a sly twinkle of the eye, "the Press + Gang") into a pen that soon, thanks to a series of + water-spouts, assumed the appearance of a tank!</p> + + <p>After leaving the Galleries, the Scribe and the Artist + looked up at the model of Eddystone Lighthouse, and entered a + shed declared to be an "Arctic Scene." Here they were reminded + by the introduced ship of those happy days of their boyhood + spent in the toy-shops of the Lowther Arcade. Next they visited + the Panorama of Trafalgar, and revelled in the carnage of a + sea-fight that only required Margate in the distance to be + entirely convincing. They glanced at the arena, and gazed with + awe at the lake which is to be devoted to the manoeuvring of + miniature ironclads. It will be interesting to note whether + these mimic combats will hold their own in the coming season + against the introduction of capsized clowns, drenched old + women, and comic police. Keeping the best for the last, the + Scribe and the Artist now entered the model of the + <i>Victory</i>—a really admirable exhibition. There they + saw before them the old battle-ship with its full equipment, as + it was in the days of NELSON—when that deathless hero + expected every Englishman (not excluding even those passing the + Custom House—as the Committee would say) "to <i>do</i> + his duty." To make the illusion complete, the great sea-captain + was observed dying in the cook-pit in the agonies of wax. And + to think that this work was executed by a firm of + house-decorators! Why, who would not, after this, have his back + drawing-room converted into the quarter-deck of the + <i>Shannon</i>, and his spare bed-room into a tiny reproduction + of the Battle of Copenhagen!</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:50%;"> + <a href="images/217.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/217.png" + alt="Mr. Punch's Representatives, after partaking of Chelsea Hospitality" /> + </a>Mr. Punch's Representatives, after partaking of Chelsea + Hospitality (<i>a purely fancy sketch</i>). + </div> + + <p>The Scribe and the Artist, on their visit, were invited by + all sorts and conditions of men to partake of champagne. The + moment it was discovered that they were "connected with the + Press," the offerers of hospitality were absolutely + overwhelming. But, obeying the best traditions of their order, + they sternly, but courteously, refused all refreshment. It is + fortunate they pursued this course, for had they received the + entirely disinterested kindness of their would-be hosts, their + recollections of the marvels of the Royal Naval Exhibition + would no doubt have been of the haziest character imaginable. + As it was, they were able to take their departure through the + main entrance with some show of dignity, and not in a less + imposing manner (as the Committee—<i>Cook's</i> Gallery + near the Dining-rooms—ho! ho! ho! ha! ha! ha!—would + probably and amusingly suggest), by Tite Street.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>AMONG THE IMMORTALS.</h3> + + <p>Mr. PUNCH would be failing in his duty to Art and the + British Public if he did not place on imperishable record his + notes of the exceptionally brilliant Royal Academy Banquet of + last Saturday. H.R.H. the Prince of WALES made one of his best + and briefest speeches, in which he feelingly alluded to the + late Sir EDGAR BOËHM, R.A. Never was the President, Sir + FREDERICK, more eloquent, or his themes more varied; for this + occasion is noteworthy as being the first time in the history + of this great annual representative gathering that the toast of + Music and the Drama has been duly honoured. Sir ARTHUR SULLIVAN + responded for the first, and HENRY IRVING for the second. Both + made excellent speeches. Sir ARTHUR'S solo was most effective; + his notes were in his head; he gave us several variations on + the original theme, and cleverly played upon one word in saying + that music had been "instrumental" on various historical + occasions. HENRY IRVING followed suit; he spoke of Mrs. + SIDDONS, Sir JOSHUA REYNOLDS, and of a professional gentleman, + one ROSCIUS, mentioned, we believe, by <i>Hamlet</i> as having + been, some considerable time ago, "a man of parts," that is an + Actor, in Rome. It was a great success. Sir FREDERICK then + proposed the LORD MAYOR, which may be briefly expressed as "a + toast with a Savory to follow." For "The Visitors," Lord + Justice BOWEN, catching sight of the President's classical + picture (No. 232), made a happy hit about the delights of a + honeymoon in the Infernal Regions, ending in the return of + Proserpine to her mother Ceres by order of the Court above. + Finally, the President, in summing up the losses to Art during + the past year, paid a graceful tribute to the memory of CHARLES + KEENE, who, but a short while ago, was our fellow-worker on the + staff of <i>Mr. Punch</i> With a hopeful allusion to the + Storage of Artistic Force in the near future, the President + concluded: but this Banquet of 1891 will long live in the + recollection of all whose privilege it was to be present on so + memorable an occasion.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>MUSICAL NOTES.</h3> + + <p>I SAY! YSAYE! <i>Why say?</i> Why <i>not</i> say that YSAYE + is a grand Yolinist, since he is this; and, as 'ARRY would + observe, "No error!" and whoever says the contrary, is not + speaking the absolute truth, but "<i>Ysaye Worsay</i>." The + Yolinist had the advantage of the co-operation of a fine + Orchestra, under the Magic Wand of Conductor COWEN.</p> + + <p>On the 27th, Heard young JEAN GERARDY, Little boy, but + player hardy, Not the slightest Lardy-Dardy, Not yet out of + care of "Guardy," Heard him <i>Lundi</i>, not on <i>Mardi</i>. + But, whene'er he plays, your Bardy, Always spry, and never + tardy, Will again hear JEAN GERARDY.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>GENERAL SUMMARY OF CARICATURES OF MR. + GLADSTONE.—"Collarable Imitations."</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page218" + id="page218"></a>[pg 218]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/218.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/218.png" + alt="FASHION'S FLORALIA" /></a> + + <h3>FASHION'S FLORALIA: OR, THE URBAN QUEEN OF THE + MAY.</h3> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page219" + id="page219"></a>[pg 219]</span> + + <h2>FASHION'S FLORALIA;</h2> + + <h4>OR, THE URBAN QUEEN OF THE MAY.</h4> + + <p class="center">(<i>A Song of the Season, a very long way after + Herrick</i>.)</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>"London town is another affair</p> + + <p>Since HERRICK wrote his perfect rhymes."</p> + </div> + </div> + + <p class="center">MORTIMER COLLINS.</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>True, sadly true, shaper of rattling rhymes,</p> + + <p>London hath changed with process of the times.</p> + + <p class="i2">Aurora now may "throw her faire</p> + + <p class="i2">Fresh-quilted colours through the + aire,"</p> + + <p class="i2">But our conditions atmospheric</p> + + <p class="i2">Are not as in the days of HERRICK.</p> + + <p class="i2">Nathless the Muse to-day may see</p> + + <p class="i2">Flora at urban revelry.</p> + + <p>See how the goddess trippeth from the West,</p> + + <p>Fragrant, though something fashionably drest;</p> + + <p class="i2">The Season waketh at her tread,</p> + + <p class="i2">Art lifteth a long-drooping head;</p> + + <p class="i2">Music doth make a merry din.</p> + + <p class="i2">'Tis profanation, keeping in,</p> + + <p>Whenas a hundred Shows upon this day</p> + + <p>Spring, lightly as the lark to fetch in May.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Rise, Nymph, put on fresh finery, and be seen,</p> + + <p>To come forth like the Spring-time, fresh and + green!</p> + + <p class="i2">And gay as Flora. Art is there,</p> + + <p class="i2">With flowing hyacinthine hair.</p> + + <p class="i2">Fear not, the throng will strew</p> + + <p class="i2">Largess abundant upon <i>you</i>,</p> + + <p>When Burlington's great Opening Day is kept.</p> + + <p>Gone is thy Grosvenor rival, not unwept;</p> + + <p class="i2">But a New Nymph, with footing light,</p> + + <p class="i2">Trips it beside thee, nor hath night</p> + + <p class="i2">Shadowed sweet "Aquarelle" whose + skill,</p> + + <p class="i2">As of a Water-Nymph, is still</p> + + <p>Well to the fore. Pipe up! playing means paying,</p> + + <p>When Fashion's Urban Flora goes a-Maying.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Come, my CORINNA, come; and, coming, mark</p> + + <p>How each street turns a grove, each square a + park,</p> + + <p class="i2">Made green and trimmed with trees: see + how</p> + + <p class="i2">The pinky hawthorn decks the bough!</p> + + <p class="i2">Each Bond Street porch, or door, ere + this</p> + + <p class="i2">Of Art a Tabernacle is;</p> + + <p>Nor Art alone. With May is interwove</p> + + <p>Seaweed, which Neptune's favourites love.</p> + + <p class="i2">SWINBURNE should sing in stanzas + fleet,</p> + + <p class="i2">How NELSON may, at Chelsea, meet</p> + + <p class="i2">ARMSTRONG! Sound conch-shell! Let's + obey</p> + + <p class="i2">Thy Proclamation made for May.</p> + + <p>Wild marine whiffs from the salt sea are + straying,</p> + + <p>And the brine greets us as we go a-Maying.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>There's not a London-Teuton but this day</p> + + <p>Hath a new welcome for the English May.</p> + + <p class="i2">Germania from her distant home</p> + + <p class="i2">In Flora's train this year doth come.</p> + + <p class="i2">She hath despatched her country's + cream</p> + + <p class="i2">Of things, to make the Cockney dream.</p> + + <p>Neptune and she have wooed and plighted troth,</p> + + <p>And her we give May-welcome, nothing loth,</p> + + <p class="i2">As many a welcome we have given</p> + + <p class="i2">To France, Spain, Italy! War hath + riven</p> + + <p class="i2">Many true hearts, but we're content</p> + + <p class="i2">Of Peace to make experiment.</p> + + <p>Blow Teuton horn—(not like "<i>Hernani's</i>" + braying!)—</p> + + <p>It makes new music as we go a-Maying!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Come, let us go, while May is in its prime,</p> + + <p>And make the best of the brief Season's time.</p> + + <p class="i2">HERRICK'S CORINNA might not see</p> + + <p class="i2">An Urban May Queen such as we</p> + + <p class="i2">Behold disport in our rare sun.</p> + + <p class="i2">Rouse, Nymph! The Season is begun!</p> + + <p>We'll trust no blizzard, and no boreal rain</p> + + <p>May mar "Our Opening Day." Sound flutes again!</p> + + <p class="i2">Pipe, Sir FREDERICK! Ah, well played!</p> + + <p class="i2">Tootle thy new strains, fair Maid.</p> + + <p class="i2">Blow, oh Briny One, with might!</p> + + <p class="i2">Teuton BRUNEHILD, glad our sight!</p> + + <p>Fashion's Floralia, Nymph, invite our straying;</p> + + <p>Come, my CORINNA, come; let's go a-Maying!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:70%;"> + <a href="images/219.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/219.png" + alt="THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID." /></a> + + <h3>THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.</h3> + + <p><i>Painter</i>. "WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? THIS IS THE + PICTURE THEY'VE THOUGHT PROPER TO REJECT! I'LL BE SO BOLD + AS TO SAY, THERE ARE NOT TWENTY BETTER IN THE WHOLE + EXHIBITION!"</p> + + <p><i>Friend</i>. "DEAR ME! IS IT SUCH A POOR ACADEMY AS + THAT?"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>THE HUMOUR O'T!</h3> + + <p class="center">(<i>Namely of Parliament, as seen through Harry Furniss's + fancy.</i>)</p> + + <p class="center">AIR—"<i>The Wooing o't.</i>"</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>LIKA JOKO makes us laugh,</p> + + <p class="i2">Ha! ha! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>With caricature and caustic chaff;</p> + + <p class="i2">He! he! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>Parliament strikes some as slow,</p> + + <p class="i2">LIKA JOKO deems not so;</p> + + <p>Visit <i>his</i> St. Stephen's Show!</p> + + <p class="i2">Humph! humph! the humour o't!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>GLADSTONE stern and GLADSTONE staid,</p> + + <p class="i2">Ha! ha! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>GLADSTONE in war-paint arrayed,</p> + + <p class="i2">He! he! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>GLADSTONE "Out" and GLADSTONE "In,"</p> + + <p>GLADSTONE with colossal chin,</p> + + <p>Giant collars plunged within,</p> + + <p class="i2">Humph! humph! the humour o't!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>SMITH with bland perennial smile,</p> + + <p class="i2">Ha! ha! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>BALFOUR, pet of the Green Isle,</p> + + <p class="i2">He! he! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>HARCOURT, big as Babel's tower,</p> + + <p>GOSCHEN, with myopic glower,</p> + + <p>JOSEPH of the orchid-flower.</p> + + <p class="i2">Humph! humph! the humour o't!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>How they muster, how they "tell,"</p> + + <p class="i2">Ha! ha! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>Woes of the Division Bell,</p> + + <p class="i2">He! he! the humour o't!</p> + + <p><i>All</i>—from Prayers to "Who goes + Home?"</p> + + <p>O'er St. Stephens you may roam;</p> + + <p>LIKA JOKO bids you. Come!</p> + + <p class="i2">Humph! humph! the humour o't!</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>LIKA JOKO is a wag,</p> + + <p class="i2">Ha! ha! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>All the tricks are in his bag,</p> + + <p class="i2">He! he! the humour o't!</p> + + <p>He can mimic, he can mime,</p> + + <p>Draw, and act, and—what is prime—</p> + + <p><i>Keep you laughing all the time.</i></p> + + <p class="i2">Humph! humph! the humour o't!</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + + <p>Why doesn't some Musical Photographic Artist of Scotch + Nationality compose a March for his fellow Professors and + Practisers, and call it "<i>The March of the Camera Men</i>"? + Sure to be popular.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>AN UN-"COMMON" GOOD HORSE.—The Winner of this Year's + Two Thousand.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page220" + id="page220"></a>[pg 220]</span> + + <h2>MR. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.</h2> + + <p class="center">(<i>Condensed and Revised Version by Mr. P.'s + Own Harmless Ibsenite.</i>)</p> + + <p class="center">No. III.—HEDDA GABLER.</p> + + <p class="center">ACT. III.</p> + + <p class="scene">SCENE.—<i>The same Room, but—it + being evening—darker than ever—The crape curtains + are drawn. A Servant, with black ribbons in her cap, and red + eyes, comes in and lights the gas quietly and carefully. Chords + are heard on the piano in the back Drawing-room. Presently</i> + HEDDA <i>comes in and looks out into the darkness. A short + pause. Enter</i> GEORGE TESMAN.</p> + + <p><i>George</i>. I am <i>so</i> uneasy about poor + LÖVBORG. Fancy! he is not at home. Mrs. ELVSTED told me he + had been here early this morning, so I suppose you gave him + back his manuscript, eh?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>cold and immovable, supported by + arm-chair</i>). No, I put it on the fire instead.</p> + + <p><i>George</i>. On the fire! LÖVBORG'S wonderful new + book that he read to me at BRACK'S party, when we had that wild + revelry last night! Fancy <i>that!</i> But, I say, + HEDDA—isn't that <i>rather</i>—eh? <i>Too</i> bad, + you know—really. A great work like that. How on earth did + you come to think of it?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>suppressing an almost imperceptible + smile</i>). Well, dear GEORGE, you gave me a tolerably strong + hint.</p> + + <p><i>George</i>. Me? Well, to be sure—that <i>is</i> a + joke! Why, I only said that I envied him for writing such a + book, and it would put me entirely in the shade if it came out, + and if anything was to happen to it, I should never forgive + myself, as poor LÖVBORG couldn't write it all over again, + and so we must take the greatest care of it! And then I left it + on a chair and went away—that was all! And you went and + burnt the book all up! Bless me, who <i>would</i> have expected + it?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i>. Nobody, you dear simple old soul! But I did it + for your sake—it was <i>love</i>, GEORGE!</p> + + <p><i>George</i> (<i>in an outburst between doubt and joy</i>). + HEDDA, you don't mean that! Your love takes such queer forms + sometimes, Yes, but yes—(<i>laughing in excess of + joy</i>), why, you <i>must</i> be fond of me! Just think of + that now! Well, you <i>are</i> fun, HEDDA! Look here, I must + just run and tell the housemaid that—she will enjoy the + joke so, eh?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>coldly, in self-command</i>). It is surely + not necessary, even for a clever Norwegian man of letters in a + realistic social drama, to make quite such a fool of himself as + all that?</p> + + <p><i>George</i>. No, that's true too. Perhaps we'd better keep + it quiet—though I <i>must</i> tell Aunt JULIE—it + will make her so happy to hear that you burnt a manuscript on + my account! And, besides, I should like to ask her whether + that's a usual thing with young wives. (<i>Looks uneasy and + pensive again.</i>) But poor old EJLERT'S manuscript! Oh Lor, + you know! Well, well! [Mrs. ELVSTED <i>comes in</i>.</p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> Oh, please, I'm so uneasy about dear Mr. + LÖVBORG. Something has happened to him, I'm sure!</p> + + <p><i>Judge Brack</i> (<i>comes in from the hall, with a new + hat in his hand</i>). You have guessed it, first time. + Something <i>has!</i></p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> Oh, dear, good gracious! What is it? + Something distressing, I'm certain of it! [<i>d.</i></p> + + <p><i>Brack</i> (<i>pleasantly</i>). That depends on how one + takes it. He has shot himself, and is in a hospital now, that's + all!</p> + + <p><i>George</i> (<i>sympathetically</i>). That's sad, eh? poor + old LÖVBORG! Well, I <i>am</i> cut up to hear that. Fancy, + though, eh?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i>. Was it through the temple, or through the + breast? The breast? Well, one can do it beautifully through the + breast, too. Do you know, as an advanced woman, I like an act + of that sort—it's so positive, to have the courage to + settle the account with himself—it's beautiful, + really!</p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> Oh, HEDDA, what an odd way to look at it! But + never mind poor dear Mr. LÖVBORG now. What <i>we've</i> + got to do is to see if we can't put his wonderful manuscript, + that he said he had torn to pieces, together again. (<i>Takes a + bundle of small pages out of the pocket of her mantle.</i>) + There are the loose scraps he dictated it to me from. I hid + them on the chance of some such emergency. And if dear Mr. + TESMAN and I were to put our heads together, I <i>do</i> think + something might come of it.</p> + + <p><i>George</i>. Fancy! I will dedicate my life—or all I + can spare of it—to the task. I seem to feel I owe him + some slight amends, perhaps. No use crying over spilt milk, eh, + Mrs. ELVSTED? We'll sit down—just you and I—in the + back drawing-room, and see if you can't inspire me as you did + him, eh?</p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> Oh, goodness, yes! I should like it—if + it only might be possible!</p> + + <p class="bracket">[GEORGE <i>and</i> Mrs. E. <i>go into the + back Drawing-room and become absorbed in eager + conversation</i>; HEDDA <i>sits in a chair in the front room, + and a little later</i> BRACK <i>crosses over to her.</i></p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>in a low tone</i>). Oh, Judge, <i>what</i> + a relief to know that everything—including LÖVBORG'S + pistol—went off so well! In the breast! Isn't there a + veil of unintentional beauty in that? Such an act of voluntary + courage, too!</p> + + <p><i>Brack</i> (<i>smiles</i>). Hm!—perhaps, dear Mrs. + HEDDA—</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>enthusiastically</i>). But <i>wasn't</i> it + sweet of him! To have the courage to live his own life after + his own fashion—to break away from the banquet of + life—<i>so</i> early and <i>so</i> drunk! A beautiful act + like that <i>does</i> appeal to a superior woman's + imagination!</p> + + <p><i>Brack</i>. Sorry to shatter your poetical illusions, + little Mrs. HEDDA, but, as a matter of fact, our lamented + friend met his end under other circumstances. The shot did + <i>not</i> strike him in the <i>breast</i>—but— + [<i>Pauses.</i></p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>excitedly</i>). General GABLER'S pistols! I + might have known it! Did they <i>ever</i> shoot straight? Where + <i>was</i> he hit, then?</p> + + <p><i>Brack</i> (<i>in a discreet undertone</i>). A little + lower down!</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i>. Oh, <i>how</i> disgusting!—how + vulgar!—how ridiculous!—like everything else about + me!</p> + + <p><i>Brack</i>. Yes, we're realistic types of human nature, + and all that—but a trifle squalid, perhaps. And why did + you give LÖVBORG your pistol, when it was certain to be + traced by the police? For a charming cold-blooded woman with a + clear head and no scruples, wasn't it just a leetle + foolish?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i>. Perhaps; but I wanted him to do it + beautifully, and he didn't! Oh, I've just admitted that I + <i>did</i> give him the pistol—how annoyingly unwise of + me! Now I'm in <i>your</i> power, I suppose?</p> + + <p><i>Brack</i>. Precisely—for some reason it's not easy + to understand. But it's inevitable, and you know how you dread + anything approaching scandal. All your past proceedings show + that. (<i>To</i> GEORGE <i>and</i> Mrs. E., <i>who come in + together from the back-room.</i>) Well, how are you getting on + with the reconstruction of poor LÖVBORG'S great work, + eh?</p> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:35%;"> + <a href="images/220.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/220.png" + alt="What! the accounts of all those everlasting bores settled?" /> + </a>"What! the accounts of all those everlasting bores + settled?" + </div> + + <p><i>George</i>. Capitally; we've made out the first two parts + already. And really, HEDDA, I do believe Mrs. ELVSTED <i>is</i> + inspiring me; I begin to feel it coming on. Fancy that!</p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> Yes, goodness! HEDDA, <i>won't</i> it be + lovely if I can. I mean to try <i>so</i> hard!</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i>. Do, you dear little silly rabbit; and while + you are trying I will go into the back drawing-room and lie + down.</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>She goes into the back-room and draws + the curtains. Short pause. Suddenly she is heard playing</i> + "The Bogie Man" <i>within on the piano.</i></p> + + <p><i>George</i>. But, dearest HEDDA, don't play "<i>The Bogie + Man</i>" this evening. As one of my aunts is dead, and poor old + LÖVBORG has shot himself, it seems just a little pointed, + eh?</p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>puts her head out between the + curtains</i>). All right! I'll be quiet after this. I'm going + to practise with the late General GABLER'S pistol!</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>Closes the curtains again</i>; GEORGE + <i>gets behind the stove</i>, Judge BRACK <i>under the table, + and</i> Mrs. ELVSTED <i>under the sofa. A shot is heard + within.</i></p> + + <p><i>George</i> (<i>behind the stove</i>). Eh, look here, I + tell you what—she's hit <i>me!</i> Think of that!</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>His legs are visibly agitated for a + short time. Another shot is heard.</i></p> + + <p><i>Mrs. E.</i> (<i>under the sofa</i>). Oh, please, not me! + Oh, goodness, now I can't inspire anybody any more. Oh!</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>Her feet, which can be seen under the + valance, quiver a little, and then are suddenly still.</i></p> + + <p><i>Brack</i> (<i>vivaciously, from under the table</i>). I + say, Mrs. HEDDA, I'm coming in every evening—we will have + great fun here togeth— + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page221" + id="page221"></a>[pg 221]</span> (<i>Another shot is + heard.</i>) Bless me! to bring down the poor old + cock-of-the-walk—it's + unsportsmanlike!—it's—.</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>The table-cloth is violently agitated + for a minute, and presently the curtains open, and</i> HEDDA + <i>appears.</i></p> + + <p><i>Hedda</i> (<i>clearly and firmly</i>). I've been trying + in there to shoot myself beautifully—but with General + GABLER'S pistol—(<i>She lifts the tablecloth, then looks + behind the stove and under the sofa.</i>) What! the accounts of + all those everlasting bores settled? Then my suicide becomes + unnecessary. Yes, I feel the courage of life once more!</p> + + <p class="bracket">[<i>She goes into the back-room and + plays</i> "The Funeral March of a Marionette" <i>as the Curtain + falls.</i></p> + + <p class="center">THE END (<i>with the usual + apologies</i>).</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>OPERATIC NOTES.</h2> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/221.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/221.png" + alt="Man with opera glasses" /></a>"J'y suis."<br /> + Pro Arris et focus. + </div> + + <p><i>Monday.—Le Prophête</i>.—Notable + performance. Profit to those who were there; loss to those who + weren't. The two Poles, NED and JOHN DE RESZKÉ, + excellent as the Tipster, or Prophet, and the Chief Anabaptist + Swindler. Madame RICHARD—"<i>O Richard, Oma Reine!</i>" + repeated her grand impersonation of <i>Fides</i>, but being a + trifle "out of it" as to tune occasionally, I cannot be + <i>Fidei Defensor</i>, and swear she was quite correct, so can + only report that RICHARD was a bit "dicky"; otherwise, sings + like a Dicky-Bird. Cathedral Scene magnificent. Rites are + wrong, probably; but these are trifles, except to strict + ritualists. Skating Scene not up to date; it was a novelty once + upon a time, but rinks have done for it. There was an + unrehearsed effect in the Prison Scene, when the walls + collapsed—the imprisoned Madame RICHARD escaped, and the + Curtain descended. Nobody hurt. The walls, which had fallen, + like those of Jericho, to the sound of the trumpet, were put + away carefully, for alteration and repairs. The prisoner, + issuing from her narrow fire-escape, was recaptured, and the + Opera ended with the Drinking Scene, the Prophet among the + Peris, a peri-lous situation, which makes the Opera go, at the + climax, "like a house-a-fire." Burns Justice is done to the + Impostor, and, at a late hour, we call our cabs, and return to + hum "<i>béviam</i>" over "a modest quencher."</p> + + <p><i>Saturday</i>.—BOÏTO'S <i>Mefistofele</i>. + Strong combination. Excellent. But big "waits" made it + heavy.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>AN AGRICULTURAL TRIPOS.</h3> + + <h4>PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION PAPER.</h4> + + <p>1. A field is ploughed three years running. Can it still + have a shy at its little go? Examine this, and say all you know + about "PIERS, or PEARS, the Ploughman." Did he use his own + soap?</p> + + <p>2. How do you extract the square of a Beet-root? In + connection with this, say how much it will take to square a + "Swede?"</p> + + <p>3. Explain the use of the "Sewing-machine" for agricultural + purposes. What do you mean by "going against the grain?"</p> + + <p>4. You plant a field of corn. What plaster do you adopt when + it begins to shoot? Also give the best remedy you know for + <i>corn in the ear</i>.</p> + + <p>5. Write a Sentimental History of the Harvest Moon. Is it + really twice as big as any other moon, or does it only look so, + after drinking the landlord's health several times over?</p> + + <p>6. To what <i>gourmet</i> giving a dinner-party in January + is attributed the historical saying, "<i>Peas</i> at any + price"?</p> + + <p>7. How many black beans will make five white ones? Given the + number, explain the process, and solve the equation.</p> + + <p>8. What pomade do you recommend for "top-dressing"?</p> + + <p>9. What would be an M.P.'s first step towards squaring a + circle of Agricultural Voters?</p> + <hr /> + + <p>SAD STORY.—A painter, who had on several occasions + aspired to a place in the Chantrey Collection, and invariably + been refused, on being encouraged to launch a fresh venture, + and spread his canvas, which would be soon filled, for a sale, + replied dejectedly, "Chantrey be blowed; I <i>shan't try</i> + any more!" Poor fellow! He must indeed have been bad. He has + not been heard of since. The Serpentine has been dragged.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>THE HANSOM CAB STRIKE!—Remarkable Conversion!! Not yet + concluded! Last week another lot of Hansoms became + Growlers.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>REPARTEE TO A SPOUSE.</h3> + + <p>Both parties in the recent extraordinary abduction case, + where a Mrs. JONES was carried off down a rope-ladder at + midnight by her own husband, Mr. JONES, have published + statements defending their own line of conduct. The following + is Mrs. JONES'S version:—</p> + + <p>"As public opinion appears to have erroneously taken + my—so-called—husband's side, as far as I can gather + from my having been twice chased through the streets by an + infuriated mob, and four separate attempts having been made to + blow up my house with nitro-glycerine, I feel compelled to + explain—with much reluctance—why it was that I + declined to live with Mr. JONES.</p> + + <p>"To begin with, it was only under <i>the most awful + threats</i> that Mr. JONES prevailed on me to become his wife. + His words—I remember them well—were, 'My darling, + you know how tenderly I adore you; if you don't marry me <i>at + once</i> I'll break every bone in your body!' He then snatched + my bonnet, a <i>new one</i>, from my head, and so acted on my + <i>nerves</i> that I went off to the Registry Office and was + married. That he was actuated by merely mercenary motives is + proved by the fact that the gratuity (of half-a-crown), which + he presented to the Registry Clerk, he actually <i>borrowed + from me!</i> I knew him already to be unprincipled; but never + until that moment had it flashed upon me that he was a + <i>fortune-hunter!</i> However, as he had the drawing-room + poker with him—he kept it concealed up his back during + the ceremony at the Registry Office—I did not at that + time say anything, but handed him the coin. I do not know if I + should have left him at once, had he not aggravated the + baseness of his conduct by using the vulgar expression, 'Fork + it out quick!' But I regret to say that his origin is painfully + <i>low</i>. Whereas, anybody who consults <i>my</i> relatives + will hear from them that they belong to the very highest County + Families. Indeed, he would hear it all day long if he lived + with them, as I do!</p> + + <p>"On the day of the abduction, I was treated + <i>barbarously!</i> Even the cab in which I was taken off was, + so the coachman informed me, 'put down to my account.' Oh, had + I but guessed the truth about Mr. JONES when I went to the + Altar—I mean the Registry Office! Supper consisted of + <i>cold mutton and pickles</i> (!) which latter he upset, and I + had a dress <i>ruined</i>."</p> + + <p>On perusing the above, Mr. JONES decided that he could no + longer keep silence, and has made public the subjoined + explanation:—</p> + + <p>"When I first saw Mrs. JONES—then Miss + THOMPSON—her youthful grace quite captivated me. Her age + was under fifty-six, and mine was just sixty. She was, in fact, + as I told her at the time, almost old enough to know her own + mind. It is true that she was wealthy, but that had no + influence on my conduct. On the contrary I felt it as a + positive drawback, as my domestic ideal has always been Love in + a Cottage! But as she was bent upon our marrying, I agreed to + waive this objection.</p> + + <p>"In proof of this assertion I need only say that on the + <i>very day after</i> our first meeting, I received the + following letter:—</p> + + <p>"'PRICELESS AND ADORABLE PET,—How <i>are</i> your + little tootsy-wootsicums? <i>Did</i> they get wet in conducting + me home after that <i>delicious</i> interview? If so, and you + were to catch cold in your precious head, I should never + forgive myself. Oh, come and see me <i>soon!</i> Your Own, till + Death, ANGELINA.'</p> + + <p>"Possibly I may be blamed for publishing this letter. I do + it for <i>her</i> sake, not for mine. Even now I believe that, + were I left alone with her for an hour, with none of her + relatives nor a policeman near, I could persuade her to retract + her calumnious statement about the poker. I conclude by saying + that it is my belief that her relatives, who are all of them + powerful mesmerists, have <i>hypnotised her!</i>"</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.</h2> + + <p><i>My Face is My Fortune</i>, by Messrs. PHILIPS and + FENDALL. Why don't they agree to spell both names with an "F," + and make it FILLIPS and FENDALL. I fancy that FENDALL couldn't + do without the sensational fillips. This story excites + curiosity throughout the first volume, and then, in the other + volume, satisfies it in so disappointing and commonplace a + fashion as to suggest the idea that one of the authors, + becoming weary of his share in the work, suddenly chucked it + up, and said, "Oh, bother! let's finish anyhow;" and then the + other <i>collaborateur</i>, whichever it was, did finish it as + best and as quickly as he could. There is evidence of laziness + or of lack of invention in the story. If it were for the first + time in fiction that a secret is learnt by some one hiding + behind some pantomime plants in a conservatory, then too much + praise could not be bestowed on the ingenious devisers of so + strong and original a situation. But as "we know that + situation,—he comes from Sheffield," and as it has done + duty some scores of times before, on or off the stage, why, the + thoroughgoing novel-reader shakes his head and asks, "Couldn't + they have devised something better than this between them?" "I + expected much from this combination in Authorship, and am + disappointed," says the candid BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page222" + id="page222"></a>[pg 222]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/222.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/222.png" + alt="<h3>WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE NEWLY-MARRIED ONE) HAS TO PUT" /> + </a> + + <h3>WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE NEWLY-MARRIED ONE) HAS TO PUT UP + WITH.</h3> + + <p><i>Our Artist</i>. "JUST LOOK, DARLING! I WAS SHORT OF + CANVASSES, SO I'VE STRETCHED A CLEAN + POCKET-HANDKERCHIEF!—SEE HOW SPLENDIDLY IT TAKES THE + PAINT!"</p> + + <p><i>His Prudent Little Wife.</i>. "OH, JOHN DEAR, HOW + EXTRAVAGANT OF YOU! <i>IT'LL NEVER COME OUT!</i>"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + + <h3>THE ADOPTED CHILD.</h3> + + <blockquote> + <p class="note">"Last year the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER + frittered away his resources in a number of small + remissions, for which hardly anyone was grateful. This year + he squanders the greater part of his surplus in providing + for Free, or—as the phrase is—Assisted + Education—an innovation for which there is hardly any + genuine demand, and which a very large class of the + community, including many of the most loyal supporters of + the Government, view with rooted distrust."—<i>The + Standard</i>.</p> + </blockquote> + + <p>MRS. GAMP (<i>the "Old Regular</i>") + <i>loquitur</i>:—</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>"More changes, too, to come afore we have done with + changes!"</p> + + <p>Ah! I said that to good Mister MOULD years agone; + which 'ow memory ranges</p> + + <p>All over them dear "Good Old Times," as I wish them + wos back agen, bless 'em!</p> + + <p>Which the new ones ain't much to <i>my</i> mind; + there's too many fresh "monthlies" to mess 'em.</p> + + <p>No; monthlying ain't wot it were; the perfession's + too open, a lump.</p> + + <p>Nusses now ain't no more like old SAIREY, no not + than the old Aldgit Pump.</p> + + <p>Like the Cristial Palluses fountings; A Pilgjian's + Projiss is life,</p> + + <p>And a Nuss ain't no more <i>like</i> a Nuss than a + Wife now resembles a Wife.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Heigho! Which it's no use a frettin'. But + <i>Fondlings</i>! Ah, well, I <i>did</i> think</p> + + <p>Our respectable fam'lies, <i>though</i> mixed, from + sich ojus demeaning would shrink,</p> + + <p>Which no greater hinsult to <i>me</i>, the old + reglar, could well be deviged;</p> + + <p>And though I've to live and to learn, I confess as + this turn I'm serpriged.</p> + + <p>A Fondling!!! Turned up unbeknownst on a doorstep + permiskus, no doubt.</p> + + <p>And then to <i>adopt</i> him! Oh dear, wot the + plague is our Party about?</p> + + <p>Wich to monthly to <i>it</i> were my pride; its + legitermit offspring I've nussed</p> + + <p>Many years with the greatest success, but to-day I + feels flurried and fussed,</p> + + <p>And my eyes is Saint Polge's fontin with tears, and + this brat is their source;</p> + + <p>As it isn't no offspring of <i>ourn</i>—of the + fam'ly I mean, Ma'am, in course;</p> + + <p>But a Brummagem bantling, picked hup, as were not + worth its swaddlin' and food,</p> + + <p>And I never yet knowed any brat from <i>that</i> + source as turned out any good.</p> + + <p>Missis G., Mum, it's all a mistake, as you know in + your 'art all the same,</p> + + <p>For you turned up your nose at the child when JOE + CHAMBERLING give him a name,</p> + + <p>Afore we was thick with his set, when you snubbed + him, and laughed him to scorn,</p> + + <p>And heaped naughty names on this kid, as you swore + was his nat'ral fust-born.</p> + + <p>And now you come dandling, and doddling, and patting + the brat on the 'ed,</p> + + <p>And forgetting the things as you promiged, and + backing on all as you said.</p> + + <p>Missis G., you do raly amaze me! This comes of our + precious mix-up;</p> + + <p>Which the child's no more like one of ourn than a + pug's like a tarrier-pup.</p> + </div> + + <div class="stanza"> + <p>In the best-regulated o' fam'lies things will go + askew, I'm aweer;</p> + + <p>As I says to my friend Mrs. HARRIS, as says to me, + "SAIREY, my dear,</p> + + <p>You looks dragged, my sweet creetur," she says. + "Missis HARRIS," I makes 'er reply,</p> + + <p>"When the 'art in one's buzzum beats 'ot, there's + excuge for the tear in one's heye.</p> + + <p>Which wales isn't in it for worrit, my love, with + your poor old pal, SAIREY,</p> + + <p>Along o' the Fam'ly," I says; "as things <i>do</i> + seem to go that contrairey,</p> + + <p><i>My</i> services now ain't required, with + 'adoptions' all over the shop,</p> + + <p>From Brummagem, yus, and elsewheres; and I ast + 'Where is this thing to stop?'</p> + + <p>RITCHIE'S 'pick-up' was tryin', most tryin'; and as + to those bad Irish brats,</p> + + <p>As BALFOUR interjuced—dear! jest fancy our + Party adopting small Pats!</p> + + <p>And now this here Brummagem babby! You say he's a + promising cheild,</p> + + <p>Missis G., and 'you're learning to love him!' All + this makes old SAIREY feel wild.</p> + + <p>It's wus than kidnapping, this bizness of picking up + 'Fondlings' all round.</p> + + <p>You're nussing a wiper, <i>I</i> say, and you'll + soon feel 'is bite, <i>I'll</i> be bound.</p> + + <p>Who arsked for 'im, BETSY—I mean Missis + G.—who demanded the brat?</p> + + <p><i>You</i>'ve altered your mind, and you pet him; + you'd much better mind what you're at.</p> + + <p>Drat the boy's bragian imperence! <i>I</i> says. + He's a halien, a fondling, a waif,</p> + + <p>And <i>I</i> never knew, for my part, <i>any</i> + Brummagem goods as wos <i>safe!</i>"</p> + </div> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page223" + id="page223"></a>[pg 223]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/223.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/223.png" + alt="THE ADOPTED CHILD." /></a> + + <h3>THE ADOPTED CHILD.</h3> + + <p>MOTHER GOSCHEN. "FOUND 'IM IN BIRMINGHAM, MY DEAR! + DIDN'T LIKE 'IM AT FIRST,—BUT, SOMEHOW, I'VE QUITE + TOOK A FANCY TO 'IM!!"</p> + + <p>MRS. GAMP. "A FONDLING INDEED!—WHICH ALL I CAN SAY + IS I DON'T LIKE THE LOOKS OF 'IM!!"</p> + </div> + <hr /> + <!--blank page 224--> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page225" + id="page225"></a>[pg 225]</span> + + <h2>ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.</h2> + + <h3>EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.</h3> + + <p><i>House of Commons, Monday, April 27</i>.—"Well, I + never!" said GEORGE ELLIOT, beaming on House from back bench; + "have known HARCOURT man and boy for forty years; seen him in + divers moods; watched him through various occupations. These + have been so many that I have had time to forget he was once + Chancellor of the Exchequer; but he was, and upon my word, + listening to him to-night, and knowing something about figures + myself, I believe he would have made a splash at the + Treasury."</p> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/225.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/225.png" + alt="Genial George." /></a>Genial George. + </div> + + <p>JOKIM doesn't enjoy performance quite so much as GENIAL + GEORGE. Oddly enough, Budget Night, which ought to be the apex + of comfort and glory for CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER, is with + him ever the season of tribulation. House of Commons is, + regarded as audience, always at its best on Budget Night. Will + laugh immoderately at feeblest joke uttered by CHANCELLOR; + cheers to the echo his moral sentiments; sits enraptured when + he soars into eloquence; and is undisguisedly grateful when he + has completed his peroration. JOKIM'S muddle of Thursday night + made the best of. Opposition silenced by promised legislation + establishing Free Education. Everything in sunshine-glow of + prosperity. Thought JOKIM might keep some of the sunbeams for + himself. Then comes HARCOURT with the abhorrëd shears of + facts and figures, and slits the thin-spun web of JOKIM'S + ingenious fancy; shows that, instead of a surplus, he has, when + honest arithmetic is set to work, a deficit; instead of + increasing the rate of reduction of National Debt, he has done + less in that direction than his predecessors; and that whilst + expenditure on Army and Navy has exceeded any figures reached + by former Chancellors of the Exchequer, the floating debt is + ever growing.</p> + + <p>JOKIM sits on Treasury Bench affecting the virtue of a smile + though he has it not. Wriggles like a snail under dispensation + of salt. When HARCOURT finished, HENRY FOWLER stepped in, and + with fresh array of figures and new marshalling of argument, + completed the demolition of JOKIM'S system of finance. Mr. G. + looked smilingly on, delighting in the energy and aptitude of + his Young Men. JOKIM, anxious to change the subject on any + terms, tried to draw Mr. G. into the controversy. "I think + not," said Mr. G., with a smile of ineffable sweetness. "Right + Hon. Gentleman need not go so far afield: will have pretty + tough job in answering HARCOURT."</p> + + <p>A pretty scene; admirable Parliamentary play. Oddly enough + boxes empty; stalls a wilderness; pit only half full. Energies + of House so sapped with dreary flood of talk on Irish Land Bill + cannot be reanimated even for a brisk battle over the + Budget.</p> + + <p><i>Business done</i>.—JOKIM pummelled to pulp.</p> + + <p><i>Tuesday</i>.—OLD MORALITY walked out of House just + now, his back suffused with sense of duty done, alike to QUEEN + and Country. Irish Land Bill, which, as CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN + says, makes a Moated Grange of House of Commons, on again all + day. SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE and his Party active as usual. + The PARTY a little doubtful of the SAGE. Sometimes, in blessed + intervals of silence, is discovered gazing on a bald space on + back of SAGE'S head, striving, as it were, to pierce through + this weak spot, and discover what is in the SAGE'S mind. The + SAGE in outward manner most deferential and encouraging. Misses + no opportunity of publicly applauding him. It is true that when + the SAGE has got him on his legs, starting afresh on new + Amendment, he seizes the opportunity to slink out of the House, + and take another cigarette, quite certain that the PARTY is + good for half-an-hour. This, and one or two other little + things, create a suspicion in the mind of the PARTY, who was + not brought up in India for nothing. WILFRID LAWSON, who sits + close by, and keenly watches progress of events, says he has no + doubt the time will come when the PARTY will revolt.</p> + + <p>"KEAY," says WILFRID, "occupies a strategical position, + which gives him a great pull over LABBY. His respected Leader + sits on the bench immediately below him. Some day SEYMOUR + KEAY'S wild Mahratta blood may boil over, an unsuspected + scimitar may flash forth from his trouser pocket, and the + SAGE'S head, falling gory on the floor of the House, may + gently, from mere force of habit, roll in the direction of + Queen Anne's Gate."</p> + + <p>"For a real sanguinary-minded man," said RITCHIE, to whom I + told this story, "give me a teetotaller."</p> + + <p>The PARTY, with some assistance from Windbag SEXTON, wasted + sitting till quarter to seven. By this time, all Amendments to + Clause 3 being wearily worn off, opportunity just left to pass + Clause before Sitting adjourned. Question put that Clause 3 + pass. Then SAGE, smelling obtrusively of cigarettes, + interposed, and declared it "would be indecent" to accept the + Clause without further discussion. Nothing House shrinks from + just now more abjectly than from charge of indecency. + Accordingly debate stood over, and Thursday may, if the SAGE + and his Party please, and the Closure is not invoked, be + appropriated for further discussion of Clause 3.</p> + + <p>OLD MORALITY might have moved Closure at twelve minutes to + seven, and carried Clause 3. Committee naturally expected he + would. But OLD MORALITY had another card up his sleeve. At very + last moment, whilst Members trooped out, and it was thought all + was over, OLD MORALITY gave notice of motion to take the whole + time of House, including Tuesday and Friday nights' evening + sittings.</p> + + <p>"I think you had them there," I said, as we walked across to + Grosvenor Place.</p> + + <p>"Yes, TOBY," he said, a little flush mantling his modest + face; "we've given them rope enough, and now we'll hang them. + They've had their run, now we'll take ours. It's the main thing + I always look to. Never forget when I was still in the seminary + writing out copy of verses about a shipwreck. A graphic scene; + the riven vessel, the raging seas, the panic-stricken crowd on + deck, and then this little self-drawn picture of the sole + survivor, the one man left to tell the story:</p> + + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p>Some fell upon their bended knees</p> + + <p class="i2">And others fell down fainting,</p> + + <p>But I fell to on bread and cheese;</p> + + <p class="i2">For that, Sir, was the main thing.</p> + </div> + </div> + + <p>It's the bread and cheese I look to, TOBY, dear boy. For + others the glory of debate, the prize of Parliamentary oratory. + Give me the bread and cheese of seeing business advancing, and + I'm content."</p> + + <p><i>Business done</i>.—Once more Committee on Irish + Land Bill.</p> + + <p><i>Thursday</i>.—A pretty little game on to-night. OLD + MORALITY moved his Resolution taking power to appropriate + Tuesdays and Fridays evening sittings, and all Wednesdays for + Irish Land Bill. In ordinary circumstances there would have + been stormy protest led from Front Opposition Bench against + this inroad on time of private Members. Other fish to fry + to-night. Wednesday week assigned for Second Reading of Woman's + Suffrage Bill; if Government take that day for Irish Land Bill, + obviously can't be utilised for furtherance of Woman's Rights. + This an awkward question for some Members; don't like it, but + daren't vote against it. Here's opportunity of getting rid of + it by side-wind. Not necessary in arranging proceedings to + mention Suffrage Bill, or even Wednesday, 13th of May. It was + principle for which Members struggled; "the principle of + uniformity," as Mr. G. beautifully put it. "Let us," he said, + though perhaps not quite in this phrase, "go the whole hog or + none; take all the Wednesdays, or leave them."</p> + + <p>Pretty to see OLD MORALITY protesting against this + unprecedented access of generosity. The very picture, as MCEWAN + said, of a good man struggling with the adversity of + overwhelming good fortune. Was prepared to take a Wednesday + here and there: but, really, too much to appropriate everyone. + "Not at all—not at all," said Mr. G.</p> + + <p>But it was only under compulsion of a Division that he + consented to accept the endowment. In meanwhile, the Woman's + Suffrage Debate on Wednesday week snuffed out, and final + opportunity of Session lost.</p> + + <p>"I'm inclined," said WM. WOODALL, "as a rule, to take kindly + views of my fellow men, to put the best construction upon their + actions; but, upon my word, I'm not satisfied in my own mind + that we advocates of Woman's Rights have not been made the + victims of deep and dastardly design."</p> + + <p>"Order! Order!" said COURTNEY; "no more am I."</p> + + <p><i>Business done</i>.—Woman's Rights men dished.</p> + + <p><i>Friday</i>.—Brer FOX looked in to-night, and, + finding Brer RABBIT absent, undertook charge of Irish affairs. + Desirous of introducing novelty into situation, began by + patronising Prince ARTHUR. "So conciliatory, you know; so + anxious to meet the views of Irish Members; really, they ought + to meet him half-way, and refrain from annoying him by + unnecessary Amendments."</p> + + <p>Brer FOX'S voice faltered as he spoke, and, bringing round + his tail, he gently brushed away a falling tear. Unfortunately + for him, TIM HEALY present. TIM jumped up, and fell upon his + ancient chief, flouting his counsel, and repudiating his right + to leadership. Effect upon Brer FOX something like that which + followed on the flight of the piece of old red sandstone which + struck in the abdomen a gentleman, who chanced to be standing + round. The subsequent proceedings interested him no more. He + walked out, and was not seen again. "Exceedingly rude man," he + said; "never come near TIM HEALY but I feel an infinite + yearning for a fire-escape." <i>Business done</i>.—Land + Bill again.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>"MORE FREE THAN WELCOME."—MR. GOSCHEN'S Education + Scheme, to the Tories.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>A REGIMENT OF "THE LINE."—The Royal Academicians.</p> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page226" + id="page226"></a>[pg 226]</span> + + <div class="figcenter" + style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/226.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/226.png" + alt="GRANDOLPH THE PRODIGAL." /></a> + + <h3>GRANDOLPH THE PRODIGAL.</h3> + + <p>(<i>A Parliamentary Drama too good for words, after + "L'Enfant Prodigue" at the Prince of Wales's + Theatre.</i>)</p> + </div> + <hr /> + <span class="pagenum"><a name="page227" + id="page227"></a>[pg 227]</span> + + <h3>THE PICK OF THE PICTURES. (AT THE ROYAL ACADEMY.)</h3> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:65%; margin-top:6em;"> + <a href="images/227-1.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/227-1.png" + alt="No. 199. Doctor Dubitans." /></a> + + <p>No. 199. Doctor Dubitans. "I'm afraid I've given him the + wrong stuff." Luke Fildes, R.A.</p> + </div> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:25%;"> + <a href="images/227-2.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/227-2.png" + alt="No. 742. He's got 'em on!" /></a> + + <p>No. 742. "He's got 'em on!" or, Nanny, wilt thou gang + with me in that new suit and those tight boots? By Phil. R. + Morris, A.</p> + </div><br clear="all" /> + + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:40%;"> + <a href="images/227-3.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/227-3.png" + alt="Grand Combination Picture, 'Liddell and Scott!'" /> + </a> + + <p>Grand Combination Picture, "Liddell and Scott!" [Liddell + (289) by H. Herkomer, R.A., and Scott (281) by G(ee) W(oa) + Joy! "Joy and Woe!" Comedy and Tragedy.]</p> + </div> + + <div class="figright" + style="width:40%;"> + <a href="images/227-4.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/227-4.png" + alt="No. 226. The Penance of Zæo in the presence of some" /> + </a> + + <p>No. 226. The Penance of Zæo in the presence of + some Members of the County Council. P.H. Calderon, R.A.</p> + </div><br clear="all" /> + + <p>No. 5. "<i>Long Ago</i>." LONG (EDWIN, R.A.) and more or + less of "a go." Instead of "<i>Long Ago</i>" which is + egotistical, why not <i>Long Egit</i> or <i>Long Fecit?</i></p> + + <p>Nos. 21, 22, 23. "<i>The Lyons Mail</i>" (and Female). + BRITON RIVIÈRE, R.A. [N.B.—"R.A.," <i>i.e.</i>, + "Royal Academician" and "Royal Animal-painter."]</p> + + <p>No. 27. The Viscount CROSS looking quite Viscount Cheerful. + "<i>Painted for the Grand Jury Room, Lancaster Castle</i>," the + Catalogue informs us. Suggestive of their arguing among + themselves "at cross purposes." Painted by SYDNEY HODGES.</p> + + <p>No. 77. "<i>On Strike</i>." Very striking. Who could have + painted this? Ah! <i>Who but</i> HERKOMER. R.A.</p> + + <p>No. 82. Apparently this must have been intended for a + portrait of the late Mr. DION BOUCICAULT, but subsequently + adapted to represent WALTER GILBEY, Esq. Looks quite the + GILBEY'S "fine, old, dry," but not "crusted." No doubt whatever + of its being the excellent work of W(erry) Q(uaint) ORCHARDSON, + R.A.</p> + + <p>No. 112. "<i>Hanson is as Hanson does</i>." By J. HANSON + WALKER. Naturally pleased with "the promise of May," and</p> + + <p>No. 118. Another Young Lady only Younger. By the same + Artist.</p> + + <p>No. 143. The Right Hon. A.J. BALFOUR, M.P., as seen by L. + ALMA-TADEMA, R.A. Taken while considering</p> + + <p>No. 147. The Irish Question as represented by Sir FREDERICK + LEIGHTON, P.R.A.'s "<i>Perseus and Andromeda</i>." Allegory, + <i>Andromeda</i>, Ireland. <i>The Monster</i>, "Parnellism and + Crime;" and <i>Perseus</i>, BALFOUR. Marvellous Monster! + DRURIOLANUS should at once order a dozen of 'em, hot and + strong, for next Christmas Pantomime. Poor Miss ANNE + DROMEDA,—"a dainty morsel <i>à croquer</i>," quoth + the Monster.</p> + + <p>No. 148. No possible doubt whatever about this being A. + BERTIE; FREEMAN-MITFORD, C.B., painted by the President of the + Painters, who has hit him off to the life. B.M. is taken at the + moment when, as a spectator of the Perseus and Andromeda + <i>ballet d'action</i>, he remembers having seen something like + it in "Old Japan."</p> + + <p>No. 201. "<i>Poor Tom's a Cold!</i>" LAURENCE SCOTT. Picture + illustrating the shortest and easiest way of catching his death + of cold.</p> + + <p>No. 206. "<i>Two's company, Three's none</i>," observed the + Sun, as blushing deeply, he sank away in the far distance. By + MAURICE GREIFFEN LAGEN.</p> + + <p>No. 209. The original Pieman met by SIMON going to the fair + in very full dress. ARTHUR S. + COPE.</p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page228" + id="page228"></a>[pg 228]</span> + + <p>No.220. "<i>A Student</i>" of ALMA-TADEMA'S style. THOMAS R. + SPENCE.</p> + + <p>No. 231. "Is it one o'clock?" she said to herself, + anxiously. "I hope luncheon will be punctual." The picture will + be known as "<i>Grace before Meals</i>," delightfully (of + course) painted by Sir JOHN E. MILLAIS.</p> + + <p>No. 232. By the P.R.A. "What's that?" said one well-educated + clerical visitor to his matronly wife. She read it out, + pronouncing it thusly, "<i>Return of Percy Fone</i>." "What!" + exclaimed the Clergyman. Then, taking the Catalogue into his + own hands, he read "<i>Return of Persephone</i>." "It's + pronounced," he informed his help-mate, + "Për-s[)e]ph-[)o]-n[)e]." "Is it?" she returned, in a tone + expressive of unmitigated incredulity. "Then," she asked + suddenly, as a brilliant idea struck her, "why isn't + 'telephone' pronounced 'tel-[)e]ph-[)o]-n[)e]'?" And turning + her back on him, would not hear another word on the + subject.</p> + + <p>No. 283. <i>Not Crossley, but Kindly</i>. CLAUDE + CALTHROP.</p> + + <p>No. 333. <i>Professor Huxley</i>. By Hon. JOHN COLLIER. When + it isn't the Professor, it might serve for Sir GEORGE GROVE. + Bravo, Honourable JOHN! "Hang him, JOHN COLLIER!" (SHAKSPEARE + adapted.)</p> + + <p>No. 390. A Boy to the very life, or a Life Boy. JAMES SANT, + R.A. It's a picture of Master HUGH BURDETT MONEY COUTTS. How + well this name will look on a cheque for a cool thousand or so! + But to see the <i>Hue</i> of health on his cheek is better than + seeing the colour of that HUGH'S money.</p> + + <p>No. 414. Portrait of Author W. PINERO, Esq. Painted by + JOSEPH MORDECAI, who has done to Author PINERO what HAMAN would + have done to MORDECAI, <i>i.e.</i>, hung him.</p> + + <p>No. 439. Sitting for Don Quixote. WILLIAM E. LOCKHART.</p> + + <p>No. 459. <i>Stiff Collar Day; or, Just Back from the + Wash</i>, "And, confound it! she's been washing my shirt and + tie together, and spoilt 'em both. Wish I had another lot + ready, but haven't, so must go to Academy as I am," said WALTER + S-WASH-BUCKLER LETHBRIDGE, and finished up with an impetuous + and irrepressible "Hang it!" "I will," replied the Artist, JOHN + PETTIE, R.A.</p> + + <p>No. 544. <i>Josephine Grimaldina; or, Female Clown</i>, the + next novelty in Pantomime, dedicated to the author and composer + of <i>L'Enfant Prodigue</i>. JOHN S. SARGENT.</p> + + <p>No. 667. <i>Feeling his Bumps; or, Phrenology in the Olden + Time.</i>" ERNEST NORMAND.</p> + + <p>No. 651. Gentleman ready for riding, but no spurs. "Where + the deuce have I put them?" he is evidently saying. "All ready + but that. Can't find 'em anywhere!" A picture which quite tells + its own (JULIAN) STORY.</p> + <hr /> + + <h3>THE RIGHTS AND WRONGS OF LABOUR.</h3> + + <p class="center"> + (<i>At the service of the Ch-nc-ll-r of the Exch-qu-r, if he + purposes writing a Prophetic Romance.</i>)</p> + + <p>MACAULAY'S New Zealander had arrived prematurely. London + Bridge was not reduced to its centre pier, and St. Paul's + Cathedral was certainly not in ruins. Still there was an + uncanny look about town. On the Embankment electric tram-cars + were running, but they seemed to be little patronised. Here and + there he noticed a pedestrian leisurely going his way, but the + side-walks appeared, to all intents and purposes, abandoned. At + length he reached a garden-seat, upon which was sprawling a + Typical Working Man. The New Zealander gave this interesting + individual "Good morning," and made some common-place remark + about the weather.</p> + + <p>"Fine day!" returned the T.W.M., rather surlily. "Well, what + does it matter to me? If it rains, I stay at home; if it don't, + why I don't either."</p> + + <p>"I am a stranger seeking for information," explained the New + Zealander; "so I am sure you will excuse me if I ask you how + much do you pay for your house?"</p> + + <p>"Pay for my house!" ejaculated the T.W.M. "Why, nothing of + course! And I pay nothing too for my sons at Oxford, and the + girls at Cambridge. And I get my clothes free, and my food + comes in gratuitously. Why, you must be a stranger if you don't + know that! Why everything and anything is paid by the + Government—out of the Income Tax."</p> + + <p>"And don't you ever work?"</p> + + <p>"Work! bless you, no. I can't afford to work! If I did, I + should have to pay the Income Tax myself!" returned the T.W.M., + with a grin.</p> + + <p>"Then who does contribute to this evidently highly-important + source of revenue?</p> + + <p>"Why, the professional men, under Schedule D!" cried the + hardy son of toil. "The authors with families, and the City + clerks. All <i>that</i> set, you know. They pay the Income Tax, + sure enough. It's as much as they can do to keep bodies and + souls together. But <i>somebody</i> must pay—why not + they?—pay for themselves—and for me!"</p> + <hr /> + + <p>THE DUMB SHOW.—It sounds odd that the serious + pantomime, <i>L'Enfant Prodigue</i>, the play without words, + should be "the talk of London."</p> + <hr /> + + <h2>LEAVES FROM A CANDIDATE'S DIARY.</h2> + + <div class="figleft" + style="width:30%;"> + <a href="images/228.png"><img width="100%" + src="images/228.png" + alt="Canvas and Scrutiny." /></a>Canvas and Scrutiny. + </div> + + <p>"<i>George Hotel," Billsbury, Friday, April + 25th</i>.—Arrived this morning in order to attend a + "Monstre Open Air Conservative Fête, which was held in + the grounds of the Billsbury Summer Palace. The programme was a + very attractive one. First, there was a "reception of town and + county delegates and their ladies" by the Earl and Countess of + ROCHEVIEILLE. The Earl is a scrubby little fellow of about + sixty, who looks more like an old-clothes-man than anything + else. Norman noses—at least their descendants in this + generation—are curiously like the Semitic variety + sometimes. The name is pronounced "Rovail," and both the Earl + and Countess get blue with rage if anybody makes a mistake + about it, as nearly all the delegates did. They stood on a + raised daïs, and received delegates' addresses to the + number of about thirty. Lady ROCHEVIEILLE is a stout + lady—very. It was a blazing hot day, and she was + "overcome" just as she was shaking hands with Colonel and Mrs. + CHORKLE, who were accompanied by BENJAMIN DISRAELI CHORKLE. The + rest of the CHORKLE family, including WILLIAMINA HENRIETTA + SMITH CHORKLE, who was in a nurse's arms, were somewhere about + the grounds looking for the "Magic Haunts of the Fairy Bulbul," + and eating enormous quantities of macaroons, which I had given + them. Colonel CHORKLE rather lost his head when Lady R. + collapsed. He made an effort to pick her up, but had to drop + her heavily on the boards of the daïs. Eventually, + however, she was carried away and revived, and the proceedings + went on. There were Conservative merry-go-rounds, Conservative + negro-minstrels, Conservative acrobats and Conservative dancing + bears, distributed about the grounds. I was taken about by + Alderman MOFFAT and HOLLEBONE, who introduced me right and left + to hundreds of my supporters and their wives and daughters. At + the end of it all I felt as if I had got a heavy sort of + how-do-you-do smile regularly glued on my face. One of my chief + supporters is an undertaker named JOBSON. HOLLEBONE brought him + up to me and said, "Mr. JOBSON, permit me to introduce you to + our popular young Candidate, Mr. PATTLE. Mr. PATTLE let me have + the honour of introducing you to our popular young undertaker, + Mr. JOBSON." Gave me rather a shock, but JOBSON seemed quite a + pleasant man. His wife was there too, gorgeously dressed in red + plush with an Indian shawl on her shoulders, and a sealskin + muff. She must have felt the heat horribly.</p> + + <p>Later in the afternoon there was a political meeting, at + which we all spoke, but we had to make it short, as everybody + was anxious to get away to the "Refined Musical + <i>Mélange</i> (with incidental dances) of the Sisters + WILKINS," which was held in a specially erected tent. + Fireworks, illuminations, and dancing, ended the affair.</p> + + <p><i>April 26</i>.—Was made an Oddfellow to-day. + Initiation didn't last long. CHORKLE and JERRAM were initiated + with me, and we all had to make speeches afterwards, declaring + our devotion to the great cause of Oddfellowship. Afterwards + sentiments were called for. The only one I remember was given + by a man called TABSEY, a tailor, who seems to be rather famous + for this kind of thing. After holding his hand to his head for + some time, and knitting his brows, he cleared his throat, and + said, in a loud voice,—"May the tear of true sympathy + crystallise as it falls, and be worn as a radiant jewel upon + the finger of affliction." This was vociferously applauded. I + congratulated TABSEY afterwards, and paid him a compliment + about it. He told me he found it a great relief, after a hard + day's work in the shop, to throw off a sentiment or two. He's + going to publish a book of them, and I've had to subscribe for + six copies, at half a guinea each.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>FROM A WATCHFUL OBSERVER.—SIR,—The other day I + saw advertised in a shop-window, "The Invisible Trouser + Stretcher." Who wears "Invisible Trousers"? Do you remember the + story of <i>The Emperor of China's Clothes?</i>—when they + all cried, "He's got 'em on," and he hadn't. That Invisible + Trousers should exist is quite enough stretch of imagination + without any further stretcher.—Yours, THE DAY + WATCHMAN.</p> + <hr /> + + <p>MRS. R. AT THE OPERA.—Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM Junior went to + hear <i>La Traviata</i>. She expressed her sympathy with + <i>Violetta</i>, between two <i>Gourmands</i>. Remarking on the + touching finish to the converted <i>Traviata's</i> career, Mrs. + R. observed that it reminded her of the poet's line about "She + who stopped to cough, remained to pray."</p> + <hr class="full" /> + + <div class="figleft" + style="margin-bottom:4em"> + <img src="images/pointer.png" + alt="pointer" /> + </div> + + <p>NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, + whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any + description, will in no case be returned, not even when + accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or + Wrapper. To this rule there will be no + exception.</p><br clear="all" /> + <hr class="full" /> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13313 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/13313-h/images/217.png b/13313-h/images/217.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..54f4197 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/217.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/218.png b/13313-h/images/218.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7b3f849 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/218.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/219.png b/13313-h/images/219.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..983b5a8 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/219.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/220.png b/13313-h/images/220.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..12c7e50 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/220.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/221.png b/13313-h/images/221.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..89dbe1c --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/221.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/222.png b/13313-h/images/222.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..94be539 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/222.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/223.png b/13313-h/images/223.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6dd3f62 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/223.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/225.png b/13313-h/images/225.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..46d22cc --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/225.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/226.png b/13313-h/images/226.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..754f589 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/226.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/227-1.png b/13313-h/images/227-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..88a46d5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/227-1.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/227-2.png b/13313-h/images/227-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ab6a0f3 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/227-2.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/227-3.png b/13313-h/images/227-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..66ac81c --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/227-3.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/227-4.png b/13313-h/images/227-4.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a699dff --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/227-4.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/228.png b/13313-h/images/228.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a18d388 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/228.png diff --git a/13313-h/images/pointer.png b/13313-h/images/pointer.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6309484 --- /dev/null +++ b/13313-h/images/pointer.png |
