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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13993-0.txt b/13993-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3593303 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1470 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13993 *** + +[Illustration: Dere O... +LOVE LETTERS +By E. STREETER] + +[Illustration: MABLE] + +Dere Mable-- + +LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE + +BY + +EDWARD STREETER + +27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION + +WITH 35 ILLUSTRATIONS IN BLACK-AND-WHITE BY + +G. WILLIAM BRECK + +("Bill Breck") + +27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION + +[Illustration] + +1918 + + + + +DEDICATION + + To a million Private Bills who have suddenly learnt to call a coat a + blouse. Taking things as they find them. Vaguely understanding. + Caring less. Grumbling by custom. Cheerful by nature. Ever anxious + to be where they are not. Ever anxious to be somewhere else when + they get there. Without thought of sacrifice. Who have left the + flag-waving to those at home. Who serve as a matter of course. + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + +Mable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ +"The only place there flat is on the map" . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 +"You can read em to your granchildren" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 +"You walk a post but there aint no post" . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 +"I just found it in my bakin can" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 +"I dont like any sargeant" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 +"I dont care much for horses, they feels the same way about me" . 9 +"Max Glucos what lives on the next cot" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 +"Smith are you laffin at me?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 +"One day its our teeth" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 +"Remember me to your mother" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 +"Not the kind your father has" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 +"I wear them every night over my uniform" . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 +"I been made an officer" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 +"Somebodied set a trunk on the turky" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 +"Built like the leg of a sailurs trowsers" . . . . . . . . . . . 22 +"You paint a horse black and white stripes" . . . . . . . . . . . 24 +"I spent mine doin Kitchen police" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 +"I wish that hired girl could come down" . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 +"A croquette is a French society woman" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 +"I sat next to a Colonels wife" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 +"Men hate to be watched while they are freezin" . . . . . . . . . 34 +"I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen" . . . . . . . . . 36 +"It seemed to depres them awful" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 +"If I catch one of those ailin enemies windin up your victrola" . 40 +"Stuck my head out of the blankets" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 +"When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I was starvin" . . . . 44 +"They come round an watch you eat it" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 +"Army food always runs" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 +"He smokes cigarets something awful" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 +"I poured some oil out of his lamp" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 +"I even got mud in my hair" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 +"The water comes through on me" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 +"The last time I will take my pen in hand for you" . . . . . . . 58 +"It wont be no use runin to the door" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 + + + +Dere Mable + +Love Letters of a Rookie + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I guess you thought I was dead. Youll never know how near you was to +right. We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit to rite. I +guess they choose these camps by mail order. The only place there flat +is on the map. Where our tents is would make a good place for a Rocky +Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck. The first day the Captin came +out an says "Pitch your tents here." Then he went to look for someone +quick before anyone could ask him how. I wish I was a Captin. I guess he +thought we was Alpine Chasers. Eh, Mable? But you probably dont know +what those are. + +Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the Panamah +Canal it would have been workin long before it was. Of course there was +a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like all they did was to +stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em out. + +The Captin appresheates me though. The other day he watched me work +awhile and then he says "Smith." He calls me Smith now. We got very +friendly since I been nice to him. I noticed none of the other fellos +had much to say to him. I felt kind of sorry for him. Hes a human bein +even if he is a Captin, Mable. So every time I saw him I used to stop +him and talk to him. Democratic. Thats me all over, Mable. "Smith" he +says "If they was all like you round here war would be hell, no joke." +By which he meant that we would make it hot for the Boshes. + +I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable. What with missin me and your +fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been awful +lonesome for you. It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot of fellos +hangin round all the time. Not that you couldnt have em, Mable, but you +dont an theres no use makin no bones about it. If it hadnt been for me I +guess things would have been pretty stupid though I dont begrudge you a +cent. You know how I am with my money. I guess you ought to anyway. Eh, +Mable? Never talk of money matters in connexun with a woman. Thats +me all over. + +[Illustration: "THE ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT IS ON THE MAP"] + +[Illustration: "YOU CAN READ EM TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN"] + +Now I got started an found a fountin pen an the Y.M.C.A. givin away +paper like it does Im goin to rite you regular. They say there goin +to charge three sents for a letter pretty soon. That aint goin to stop +me though, Mable. There aint no power in heavin or earth, as the poets +say, as can come between you and me, Mable. You mite send a few three +sent stamps when you rite. That is if your fathers able to work yet. And +willin, I should add. + +Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what you get +from me as a record of the war. Some day you can read em to your +granchildren an say "Your Granfather Bill did all these things." Aint I +the worst, Mable? Serious though I havnt found noone so far what has +thought of doin this except the newspapers. I guess Ill get a lot of +inside stuff that theyll never see. So this may be the only one of its +kind. But it doesnt matter to me what you do with them, Mable. + +Later Ill tell you all about everything but I guess you wont understand +much cause its tecknickle. Lots of the fellos are gettin nitted things +and candy and stuff right along. Dont pay no attenshun to that, though, +or take it for a hint cause it aint. I just say it as a matter of +rekord. Independent if nothin. Thats me all over. + + Yours till the war ends + _Bill_ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Having nothin better to do I take up my pen to rite. + +We have been here now three weeks. As far as I am concerned I am all +ready to go. I told the Captin that I was ready any time. He said yes, +but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they was all goin +together. I says was I to go out to drill with the rest. He said yes +more for the example than anything else. Its kind of maddening to be +hangin round here when I might be over there helpin the Sammies put a +stop to this thing. + +[Illustration: "YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST"] + +In the mean time I been doin guard duty. Seems like I been doin it every +night but I know what there up against and I dont say nothin. Guard duty +is something like extemperaneus speakin. You got to know everything your +goin to say before you start. Its very tecknickle. For instance you walk +a post but there aint no post. An you mount guard but you dont really +mount nothin. An you turn out the guard but you dont really turn em out. +They come out them selves. Just the other night I was walkin along +thinkin of you Mable an my feet which was hurtin. It made me awful +lonesome. An officer come up and he says why dont you draw your pistol +when you here someone comin. An I says I dont wait till the sheep is +stole I drew it this afternoon from the Supply sargent. An I showed it +to him tucked inside my shirt where noone could get it away from me +without some tussel, you bet, Mable. But it seems that you got to keep +on drawin it all the time. Then later I here footsteps. I was expectin +the relief so I was right on the job. An a man come up and I poked my +pistol right in his face an says Halt. Who goes there? And he says +Officer of the day. An bein disappointed as who wouldnt be I says Oh +hell. I thought it was the relief. An he objected to that. The relief, +Mable--but whats the use you wouldnt understand it. + +Theres some mistake up north Mable about the way were built, Mable. Its +kind of depresin to think that you could forget about us so quick. +Everyones gettin sweters without sleeves and gloves without fingers. We +still got everything we started with Mable. Why not sox without feet and +pants without legs. If your makin these things for after the war I think +your anticipatin a little. Besides its depresin for the fellos to be +reminded all the time. Its like givin a fello a life membership to the +Old Soldiers home to cheer him up when he sails. I was sayin the other +day that if the fellos at Washington ever get onto this theyll be issuin +soleles shoes and shirtles sleves. + +Its gettin awful cold. No wonder this is a healthy place. All the germs +is froze. I guess there idea of the hardenin proces is to freeze a fello +stiff. The Captin said the other day we was gettin in tents of trainin. +Thats all right but Id kind of like to see those steam heated barraks. +Youve red about those fellos that go swimmin in the ice in winter. I +guess thed like our shouer baths. They say Cleanliness is next to +Godliness, Mable. I say its next to impossible. + +I started this letter almost a weak ago. I just found it in my bakin +can. They call it a bakin can but its too small to bake nothin. I keep +my soap in it. I got some news for you. The regiment is to be +dismantled. The Captin called me over this mornin and asked me where Id +like to be transferred. I said home if it was the same to him. So there +goin to send me to the artillery. This is a very dangerous and useful +limb of the servus, Mable. I dont kno my address. Just write me care of +the General. + +I got the red muffler that your mother sent me. Give her my love just +the same + + yours relentlessly, + _Bill_. + +[Illustration: "I JUST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN"] + + + +_Dere Mable_: + +I havnt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately. When they broke +up our regiment and sent me over to the artillery I thought I was goin +to quit usin my feet. That was just another roomor. + +Thanks for the box of stuff you sent me. I guess the brakeman must have +used it for a chair all the way. It was pretty well baled but that dont +matter. And thanks for the fudge too. That was fudge wasnt it, Mable? +And the sox. They dont fit but I can use them for somethin. A good +soldier never throws nothin away. An thank your mother for the half pair +of gloves she sent me. I put them away. Maybe sometime shell get a +chance to nit the other half. Or if I ever get all my fingers shot off +theyll come in very handy. + +The artillerys a little different from the infantry. They make us work +harder. At least theres more work on the skedule. I know now what they +mean when they say that the "artillerys active on the western front." + +They got a drill over here called the standin gun drill. The names +misleadin. I guess it was invented by a troop of Jap akrobats. They +make you get up and sit on the gun. Before you can get settled +comfortable they make you get down again. It looks like they didnt know +just what they did want you to do. + +I dont like the Sargent. I dont like any sargent but this one +particular. The first day out be kept sayin "Prepare to mount" and then +"Mount." Finally I went up to him and told him that as far as I was +concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared to do what I +was told even though it was the middle of the night. He said, Fine, then +I was probably prepared to scrub pans all day Sunday. + +I dont care much for horses. I think they feels the same way about me. +Most of them are so big that the only thing there good for is the view +of the camp you get when you climb up. They are what they call hors de +combat in French. My horse died the other day. I guess it wasnt much +effort for him. If it had been he wouldnt have done it. + +They got a book they call Drill Regulations Field and Light. Thats about +as censible as it is all the way through. For instance they say that +when the command for action is given one man jumps for the wheel and +another springs for the trail an another leaps for the muzzle. I guess +the fellow that rote the regulations thought we was a bunch of +grass hoppers. + +[Illustration: "I DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT"] + +[Illustration: "I DONT CARE MUCH FOR HORSES, THEY FEELS THE SAME WAY +ABOUT ME"] + +Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch of other girls. Thanks again for +the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good but that +dont matter. + + Yours till you here otherwise, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Todays Thanksgivin. Im thankful things aint no worse though Max Glucos +what lives on the next cot says they couldnt be. Cheery an bright to the +last. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Every man gets ateen ounces of Turky on Thanksgivin. All to himself, +Mable. The sargent says the commitee on Hays and Beans at Washington +decides that. Mines inside. Im most to full for expreshun as the poets +say. We had a great dinner. Soup an turky, dressin, crambury sause an +pie an smashed potatoes. All in one plate. I wish you could have heard +how the fellos enjoyed it Mable. I know now why they call the +turkys gobblers. + +Thanksgivin is a holiday. All a fello has to do on a holiday in the +artillery is to feed the horses an give em a drink an smooth em out an +take em for a walk an then feed em an smooth em out an feed em an give +em a drink. It makes a fello feel like givin back a dollar out of his +pay at the end of the month. + +[Illustration: "MAX GLUCOS WHAT LIVES ON THE NEXT COT"] + +[Illustration: "SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME?"] + +The horses has the softest of anyone, Mable. They dont even have to get +up for breakfast in the morning. We bring it to em in a little bag +filled with cereul. You tie this on there face. I guess they aint never +been fed before the war broke out. When they see you comin they start +jumpin round like starvin sailurs. I dont guess they like cereul. I +wouldnt ether three times a day. I thought theyd give em somethin +different Thanksgivin but not a chance. There always hopin it ull be +somethin else I guess. When they see the same old thing they get sore +and try to step on your feet. + +The sargents stand way behind an say "Go on in. They wont hurt you." An +then when they land on your corn they say "Thats to bad. You didnt do it +right." I dont like sargents any better than horses. + +An I dont kno as Im going to like the Captin much better ether. The +other day I got laffin while I was standin in line. Just laffin to +myself. Not disturbin nobody. The Captin turns round an says "Smith are +you laffin at me?" I says no sir an he says "Well what else was there to +laff at?" Thats the kind of a fello he is. I didn't sass him back or +nothin, Mable. Just looked at him an made him feel cheap. I saw him +again in the afternoon. Course I didnt salute. He says "What do you mean +by not salutin?" I told him I thought he was mad. Im glad Im not his +wife, Mable. You never know how to take a fello like that. + +If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given him two weaks notise on +the spot. Duty before pleasure though. Thats me all over. + +We took the guns out to drill the other day. The Captin was talkin about +indirect firin. Thats the way he is. Nothin straight forward about him. +I asked the sargent about it. He said indirect firin was where you shot +at one thing an aimed at another. I hate to butt in Mable but it didnt +seem right. I says I seen the Indien girl in the circus shoot the spots +out of a card over her shoulder but wouldnt it be more censible to cut +out the trick stuff till we was more used to the thing. You cant argue +with sargents, though. + +Day after tomorrows inspecshun. They do it every Saturday. Thats another +thing Im thankful for. Theres only one Saturday a weak. We pull +everything out an pile it on our cots. Then the Captin an the Sargent +comes in. Every time its the same. He says "Thats very dirty Smith +wheres your other shirt." An I say "I aint got none, sir." An he says +"Sargent make a note of that." An then the Sargent rites somethin in a +little book. Next time just the same. The Captin says wheres my shirt an +the sargent makes a note. I guess theres somethin in the drill +regulations what makes him say that cause I aint got no other +shirt yet. + +Well Mable Im gettin hungry again now. Guess Ill have to stop an buy a +couple of pies. We dont get nothin to eat for an hour yet. + + yours till the ice cracks in the pale, + _Bill_. + +P.S. I had to borrow a stamp for this letter. I went down town yesterday +an spent my last sent on a money belt. Its a good one though. + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Rainin today. No drill so Im going to rite you. If I dont get no +exercise I go all to pieces. Im back from the artillery into the +infantry. Captin an I had different ideas about runnin things. One of us +had to leave. Hed been there longest. I left. Hot headed. Thats me +all over. + +Were doin baynut drill now. I cant say nothin about it. Its not for +wimens ears. We have one place where we hit the Hun in the nose an rip +all the decorashuns offen his uniform all in one stroke. Then theres +another where you give him a shave an a round hair cut an end by +knocking his hat over his eyes. Then the wiperzup come over with a lot +of bums an do the dirty work. I an the rest of the fellos go ahead an +take another trench. I havnt been able to find out yet where we take it. + +Its all worked out cientifick. The fello who doped it out had some bean. +The principul of the thing is to get the other fello an not let him get +you. If the allys bad doped out some skeme like this the war would have +been over now. There wouldnt have been no Huns left. It takes us Uncle +Sammies. Eh Mable? + +[Illustration: "ONE DAY IT'S OUR TEETH"] + +There gettin up a thrift campain now Mable. First they sell us enough +Liberty Bonds to buy a brand new army an let us go home. Then they cram +a lot of insurence at you what wont never do you no good after your +killed. Then I guess they found that someone still had a couple of +dollars left so they made us send that back home. Now there gettin up a +thrift campain Mable. They dont want us to spend our money foolish sos +we can buy the Singer Buildin or a Ford or somethin like that when the +war is over. + +Some one say that we was the highest payed army in the world. Besides +all this money we get our bed and board. I guess they dont know that in +the army bed and board mean the same thing. Eh, Mable? Still the +same old Bill. + +There always inspectin us. I feel like a piece of prize beef. They never +inspect a man all the way through. I guess the inspecters get payed by +the day durin the duration of the inspecshun. One day its our teeth an +another our heart an another our lungs. The other day we was all lined +up in the company street and the Sargent says "Inspecshun arms." I lays +down my gun an rolls up my sleves. Just to show you how tecknickle the +army is he didnt want to see my arms at all but my gun. Hows a fello +goin to tell, Mable? + +I went up for thirds at breakfast the other morning as usual an the +cook said "You seem to like coffee." Right away without stoppin to think +or nothin I says back "Yes thats the reason Im willin to drink so much +hot water to get some." Eh, Mable? + +Went to a dance the other night and met some swell girls. I made em all +laff. I says I guess I got the instinks of a soldier all right. The +minit I smell powder Im right on my tows. + +I havent been very well lately. I guess Ill cut out eatin at meals. It +spoils my appitite for the rest of the day. I kno youll be glad to kno +my feet aint hurtin so much. Remember me to the hired girl and +your mother. + + Yours through the winter, + _Bill_. + + +[Illustration: "REMEMBER ME TO YOUR MOTHER"] + + + +_Chair Mable:_ + +Thats French. I didnt expect you to kno what it meant though. The +Y.M.C.A. are learnin me French now. I only had three lessons so far but +I can talk it pretty good. You know how quick I am at pickin up any kind +of trick stuff like that. The only difference between French and English +is that there pretty near alike but the French dont pronounce there +words right. + +When I use French words Ill underline them. Thatll give you some idea of +the languige. + +When we get voila as the French say for over there itll come handy to be +able to sit down and have a dosy dos with them poilus. (That means chew +the rag in English.) A poilus Mable is a French peasant girl an they say +that they are very belle. (Now don't mispronounce things an get sore +till you know. You pronounce that like the bell in push button. It means +good lookers.) There crazy about us fellos. They call us Sammies. They +named one of there rivers for us. You have heard of the battle of the +Samme. But I dont suppose you have. + +They have been learnin us a lot about gas at attacks lately. These are +not the kind your father has. These are more like the open places in the +street on 6th avenoo. Only in the army when anything like this happens +they give you a gas mask. A gas mask is like a cracked ice bag with +windos in it. An in the front they got a cigaret holder. I always heard +how the French was cigaret feends. I guess it got so bad they put in the +holders sos they could smoke during a gas attack. + +Im goin to put on my mask an have my pictur took en cabinet. Thats +nothin to do with furniture, Mable. Its the French for what its goin to +look like when its done. + +The gas fello said the other day that gas was perfectly safe cause you +could always tell when it was comin. You could hear it escape or see it +or smell it. The only trouble was, he said, that when the gas started +the machine guns made so much noise you couldnt hear it an it always +came at night sos you couldnt see it and when you smelled it it was most +to late to bother anyhow. I been thinkin that over. Seems to me theres a +joker in the contract somewhere. Ask your father to read it over an see +if it sound droit (thats French for right) to him. Better still. Ask +Higgins the grocer to give it the once over. Hes got a grand tete as the +French say when they mean brains. + +[Illustration: "NOT THE KIND YOUR FATHER HAS"] + +[Illustration: "I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM"] + +Its getting frappayer and frappayer down here (meaning colder and +colder). It got so cold that I put on those sox that you nitted me. I +guess I wont any more though. I guess my feet are going to look like +corderoy the rest of my life. Youll understand no hard feelin I know. +You know how delicate my feet is an how I cant afford to prennez a +hazard with them. + +Thank your mother for the flannel pajammas. I wear them every night over +my uniform. I got to quit now an read some pictur post cards that some +girls sent me. + + Good night + (or as the French say Robe de Nuit). + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I havnt rote for some time because I been made an officer.--a corperal. +I admit I deserved it. I didnt apply for it or nothin though. They just +come and told me. + +Bein corperal means I dont have nothin more to do with details. An at +the same time I got more details than ever. Thats a sort of a joke that +us military men understand. You couldnt get it probably Mable. Its +tecknickle. + +Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple of other officers borrowed a +couple of mules from the stable Sargent an went for a ride. We saw a +cabin that they said was a moonshiners hut but it was broad daylight so +you couldnt tell of course. + +Its still cold. I wish thed hurry up and issue those gas masks. Theyd +come in handy these cold nights. The sargent told me that I was goin to +do interior guard tonight. I guess Im lucky to get indoor work +this wether. + +[Illustration: "I BEEN MADE AN OFFICER"] + +[Illustration: "SOMEBODIED SET A TRUNK ON THE TURKY"] + +You never saw such a place for roomors. These are army roomors. They +havnt got nothin to do with the kind your mother used to take in. We +here that were going next week an that were not goin at all but were +goin to be used to guard the Chicago stock yards. Then we here that all +the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the dismounted men are +goin to be mounted. An that the rest of us are goin to be made cooks. An +we here that all non coms are goin to be abolished. Its awful hard to +tell what is goin on. + +I got your Thanksgivin box two days ago. It was only ten days late. I +guess the post office must have made some mistake. Things is usually +later than that. It was in good shape except that the insides had been +squoze out of the mince pie and somebodied set a trunk on the turky. Of +course I divided it up with my squad. Big hearted. Thats me all over. Im +awful popular with my men. They offen say they wish Id be made a Major +or somethin. My men ate up all the stuff. All I saved for my self was +the white meat an half a mince pie. It certainly tastes good in the +field. Of course we aint in nobodies field. Thats a military expreshun. +I cant explain it. + +I got to quit now an post a guard. At the same time Ill post this letter +to you. Thats a joke Mable. Im sorry this letter cant be longer but as a +man rises in the army he gets less an less time to hisself. Olive oil. + + Yours faithlessly, + _Bill_. + + + +_Mon Cherry Mable:_ + +Thats the way the French begin there love letters. Its perfectly proper. +I would have rote you sooner but me an my fountin pens been froze for a +week. Washington will never know how lucky he was that he got assigned +to valley Forge instead of here. It got us out of drill for a couple of +days. Thats somethin. I guess Id rather freeze than drill. Its awful +when they make you do both though. + +Two of my men has gone home on furlos. Me bein corperal I took all there +blankets. The men didnt like it but I got a squad of men to look out for +an my first duty is to keep fit. Duty first. Thats me all over. I got so +many blankets now that I got to put a book mark in the place I get in at +night or Id never find it again. + +We spent most of our time tryin to find somethin to burn up in the Sibly +stoves. A sibly stove, Mable, is a piece of stove pipe built like the +leg of a sailurs trowsers. Old man Sibly must have had a fine mind to +think it out all by hisself. They say he got a patent on it. I guess +that must have been a slack winter in Washington. The government +gives us our wood but I guess that the man who decided how much it +was goin to give us had an office in the Sandwitch Islands. I says the +other day that if theyd dip our allowance in fusfrus wed at least have +matches, eh Mable? Im the same old Bill, Mable. Crackin jokes an keepin +everybody laffin when things is blackest. + +[Illustration: "BUILT LIKE THE LEG OF A SAILURS TROWSERS"] + +I was scoutin round for wood today an burned up those military hair +brushes your mother gave me when we came away. I told her theyd come in +mighty handy some day. + +They say a fello tried to take a shouer the other day. Before he could +get out it froze round him. Like that fello in the bible who turned into +a pillo of salt. They had to break the whole thing offen the pipe with +him inside it an stand it in front of the stove. When it melted he +finished his shouer an said he felt fine. Thats how hard were +gettin, Mable. + +I bought a book on Minor Tackticks the other day. Thats not about +underaged tacks that live on ticks as you might suppose, Mable. Its the +cience of movin bodies of men from one place to another. I thought it +might tell of some way of gettin the squad out of bed in the morning but +it doesnt. All the important stuff like that is camooflaged sos the +Germans wont get onto it. + +Camooflage is not a new kind of cheese Mable. Its a military term. +Camooflage is French for cauliflower which is a disguised cabbage. It is +the same thing as puttin powder on your face instead of washin it. You +deceive Germans with it. For instance you paint a horse black and white +stripes an a German comes along. He thinks its a picket fence an goes +right by. Or you paint yourself like a tree an the Germans come an drink +beer round you an tell military sekruts. + +Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable. I guess it wont be a +very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh? Cheer up cause Im goin to think of +you whenever I get time all day long. Im pretty busy nowdays. I got to +watch the men work. It keeps a fello on the jump all the time. I like it +though, Mable. Thats me all over. Isnt it? + +Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable. I bought somethin for you but +Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize. All that I can say is +that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more than I could +afford. An its worth a lot more. But you know how I am with money. A +spend drift. So dont send me anything please although I need an electric +flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them sox that you wear on +your head. Ill spend my last sent on anyone I like but I dont want to +be under no obligations. Independent. Thats me all over. + +[Illustration: "YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES"] + +You might read this part to your mother. I dont want nothin from her +ether. + +Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to study. + + yours till the south is warm, + _Bill._ + +Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77). + + + +_Joli Dame:_ + +Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable. Tinkers Dam is +tecknickle an aint even French. I wish you knew more about these forin +languiges. I always herd a fello could express himself better in French +than anything else. Thats because nobody can understand him an he can +say anything he wants. + +The Christmas holidays is over. I spent mine doin Kitchen police. The +only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was potatoes an the only +thing what rung out was dish cloths. But I guess you aint familiar +enough with the poets to get that, Mable. It shows that I can be funny +an bright though even under adversary conditions. Kitchen police dont +explain what I do very well. I dont walk a beet or carry a club or +arrest nobody or nothin. I just--well I wish that hired girl of yours +could come down an do Kitchen police for a couple of days. She wouldnt +be quitten as regular as she does. + +[Illustration: "I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE"] + +[Illustration: "I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN"] + +We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven instead of +hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello what blows the horn an +he blew it at hap past six anyway. Imagine if anybody home had told me I +could sleep till a quarter of seven Christmas morning. I guess you +know what Id a told him, eh, Mable? + +Theres a fello in town what says he'll send flowers anywhere you want by +telegraph. I was goin to send you some for Christmas morning. Then I +figgered it was a silly idea. In the first place theyd get all smashed +on the way. An then you cant get enough flowers in one of them little +envelopes to make one good smell. Nothin if not right. Thats me all +over, Mable. + +I had dinner in town with Max Glocoses mother. Hes a fello in our tent. +Shes a nice enough old lady but she aint military, Mable. We was walkin +down the street before dinner an salutin officers so fast it looked like +we was scratchin our forheds. An every time we saluted she bowed. I +didnt say nothin cause after all she was payin for the dinner. Later on +though she says. "I think its fine you boys has made so many friends +among the officers cause I think there such nice men." Can you beat it +Mable? An when she went home she sent Max an officers hat cord cause she +said she didnt think it would fade as quick as that old blue thing he +was wearin. + +I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas presents you an your +mother sent. Im glad you minded what I said about not wantin nothin +although Id sent you two presents what was worth more than I could +afford ($4.87). As I said to Joe Loomis who was in the tent when your +presents came, it aint what the thing cost or wether you could ever use +it for anything. Its the thought. Sentiment before pleasure. Thats me +all over, Mable. + +Thanks for the red sweter, Mable. We aint allowed to use them. But you +dont want to feel bad about that cause I got lots of others an didnt +need it anyway. An tell your mother thanks for the preserves an cake. I +think thats what they was. They must have packed them between a steam +roller and a donkey engin from the looks. Joe Loomis picked out most of +the glass an tried some. Hed eat anything, that fello, Mable. He said it +must have been pretty good when it started. Tell that to your mother. I +know it will please her. + +I got so many presents from other girls an the like that its kind of +hard to remember if you sent me anything else. If you did just tell me +in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite again. + +I hope my presents arrived all right. I guess you'll like em. You ought +to at the price. As I says to the girl what sold em when she says she +didnt have nothin cheaper "Nothins to good for where there goin." Isnt +that tipical of me, Mable? + +Well, Mable, perhaps next year Ill send you a Dutch helmit maybe. It +aint no use wishin you a happy New Year cause I know how itll be with me +away an your father what he is. + + Yours regardless, + _Bill._ + + + +_Mon Croquette:_ + +Thats not the kind with the evenin dress tooth pick in the top, Mable. A +croquette is a French society woman. Study these letters of mine an see +how I use the words. You ought to be able to pick up enough French to +understand me talkin it when I come home. + +Well, Mable, New Years are behind us again. Once more I made a lot of +revolushuns. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin for me to change. Youre +prejudiced. I can see falts where others cant. Underneath a plesant +exterior I am made of sterner stuff, as the poets say. I have gave up +frivolity with the exception of goin into town once in a while to take a +bath. Im strong for this sanity stuff under any conditions. + +Im makin a study of war. Im goin to tell you a sekrut. Im workin on a +plan to end the war. I got thinkin, as I will, an it struck me that no +one had gone into this at all. There all figurin how to go on with it +but none of em how to quit it. Dont say nothin till I get it worked out. +I guess you always knew youd here from me when I got goin, eh Mable? + +[Illustration: "A CROQUETTE IS A FRENCH SOCIETY WOMAN"] + +I also resolved not to put off till tomorrow what I can do today. (Old +motto.) For instance if I can get out of a fatigue today whats the use +of waitin till tomorrow. The same with sleepin and restin. + +I cut out cigarets to. I was gettin to be a feend. Got so I had to lite +one whenever I got thinkin. I was usin up most a package a day. Nervous +an high strung. Thats me all over, Mable. I smoke cigars an a pipe +instead. A fello with an active mind has got to have somethin. You +remember what the fello what trained the high school show said when he +saw me act. Temperature. Thats me. Of course its harder to borrow pipe +tobacco and cigars but Im tryin to show the fellos how bad cigarets is. +Pretty soon Ill be all O.K. again. + +I got that watch your father sent me for a New Years present. Tell him +thanks very much an not to feel bad because he forgot to send me a +Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely. He said it was +a military watch an the latest thing out. I guess they call it a +military watch cause it works two hours and stops four. Its the latest +thing round here. If I answered call by that watch Id be fallin in for +retreat round taps. Its so slow it cant stop quick. + +I got the blacksmith over at headquarters company workin on it now. Hes +an awful good man. He was a plumber in civilian life. Thats why they +made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He says hes goin to fix +it sos Ill never be bothered with it again. + +I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a Colonels wife. +It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy though. I says whose +that funny lookin old bird sittin across the room with a head like an +egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a French joke Mable.) She says "Thats +my husband." As soon as Id stopped laffin I started right in an told her +the history of every man in the company beginnin with the As. You know +me when I get started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed. +When she started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to +show her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no effort. + +I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I heard her +ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like "Hed ought to +be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all over. It may mean +promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have me sent to Fort Silly +to learn somethin. You cant tell. + +[Illustration: "I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE"] + +I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont show these +letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I suppose you are +awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to be lonesome what with +drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as things get shook down a bit I +hope to get more time to miss you. Hows your fathers liver? + + Au Riviere, + _Bill_. + + + +_Mon Ami:_ + +Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of fact its +the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond of. + +Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways. The +Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I knew more +than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id always tell him +cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey City an so I was sorry +for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the other day when I was on guard +he says, "Corperal, whats the General orders?" an I says, "Captin if you +dont kno them now you never will and I wouldnt be doin no service to my +country if I told you." Cold but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be. + +The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry for him. +Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard again. I go on +guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the guard because when +the relief goes out I take all their blankets an go right to sleep +instead of standin outside an watchin them freeze. Men hate to be +watched while they are freezin. + +[Illustration: "MEN HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FREEZIN"] + +But I happened to be outside for some reason, goin to dinner I guess, an +I saw the Colonel coming. I says "Turn out the guard." (No one really +turns em out, Mable. They come out themselves.) The Colonel sees who it +is an waves an says "Never mind the guard, Corperal." So I thanks him an +goes back to the company an goes to bed. + +As soon as the Captin sees that the Colonel is savin me up for over +there he gets sore. His plan has been to kill me before we left here. He +said he was goin to reduce me. Thats not the same way your father +reduces when he cuts out beer with his meals an sits in a Turkish all +day. I never said you will or you wont. Just waited till he got outside +an thumbed my nose at him. High spirited. Thats me all over. + +An English officer came over the other day an told us all about the war. +He didnt quite finish it cause he only had three quarters of an hour. +They was quite a few things I didnt kno even at that. He said that the +heavy artillery was commanded by the C.C.O.D.A. an the light artillery +by the C.O.A. An theres a special N.C.O. who has nothin to do but look +after the S.A.A. Just imagine, Mable. I wish Id studied chemistree more +when I was in school. It would make things a lot easier for me now. +Then he said that a man always got into his O.O. to observe the action +of the 75s. These English are always great for dress an that +formal stuff. + +Im glad there tellin us this before we go over. It would have been awful +embarassing to have tried to observe the action of the 75s in my B.V.Ds. +I asked him if they had any trouble with the B.P.O.Es. When he left he +said "Cheero." Without winkin a hair I says "Beevo." Same old Bill, +eh Mable? + +They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to school an +learn all about liason. I said there wasnt much use in there doin that +cause I was pretty well up on that stuff. At home, I says, I had a +reputashun for a devil with the wimen. Nobody knows better than you, eh +Mable? I guess thats a little over your head though, Mable. I try to be +as simple as I can. If Im not just tell me. + +Im ritin this letter with my shoes off. I hope youll excuse my bein so +informal but Im havin the old trouble with my feet. They never been +right since that winter I taught you to dance. I went to the doctor with +them an he said to keep offen them as much as I could. So they put me to +work scrubbin the mess shack on my hans and nees. I bet if a fello had +both legs shot off theyd prop you up against the wall an put you +peelin onions. + +[Illustration: "I HAD A REPUTASHUN FOR A DEVIL WITH THE WIMEN"] + +I got to quit now. They got a thing called retreat they have every +night. I always like to be there just to show the Captin Im behind him +regardless. + +Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform pointin to an American flag. Its +kind of simbolical the man said, if you know what that is. I thought +youd like to put it on the mantle in a conspikuous place sos to have +somethin to be proud of when your girl friend comes in to talk. Id ask +you for your pictur only I havnt got much room for that kind of thing +down here. + + yours exclusively + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Everyone round here is goin to school now so they can be speshulists. +Not the kind your mother goes to, Mable. A speshulist only does one +thing. I been doin everything round here ever since I came. I was gettin +sick of it. I went to the top sargent an says I guessed Id be a +speshulist to. He said all right hed make me a food speshulist. Said Id +have to go into it pretty deep. I been into it up to my elbows in the +kitchen ever since. Never trust sargents. Least of all top sargents. If +it keeps on like this there wont be nobody to do the actual fightin but +me, Mable. Its too much responsibilety for one man. Suppose I was to get +sick or somethin. + +An then a bunch of fellos went away to lern to be officers. That kind of +struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done round here. I +went to the Captin an told him I thought Id go to. He said I could go +to, and then he added somethin. + +[Illustration: "IT SEEMED TO DEPRES THEM AWFUL"] + +He said a company was built up somethin like a man. There was the brain, +which was the officers, an then some was the muscle an some was the +bone. He said I seemed to be pretty well fitted for my part by nature so +he wouldnt change me. Ive always been strong ever since I was a +kid, Mable. + +Ive rote a pome. I sent it to the Divisun paper. They wouldnt print it +cause they said it was so real that it might depres the men. I guess +they was right cause I read it to the fellos in the tent an it seemed to +depres them awful. Im ritin it to you. Its about the war. Youll probably +notice that yourself if you read it careful. Here it is. + + + I + + Here the thunder of the guns + Smashin down the German Huns + An the sticky pools of gory blood + Soakin up the oozie sod + The rushin, roarin, shreekin boom + Of bullets crashin thru the gloom + + + II + + Listen to those grate bums bust + On the quiverin Hunnish crust + Listen to the shreekin, moanin + Swearin, yellin, gruntin, groanin + That comes to us across the trenches + All mixed up with grusome stenches + + + III + + Biff, an from there hellish lare + The shreeks of Germans rent the air. + Bloody lims lie on the ground. + Bits of Huns go flyin round. + Bang! And through the cannons roar + Is plainly herd the splashin gore. + + + IV + + But this cannot go on for long, + Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong. + An when we charge the German line + We'll chuck the dam thing in the Rine. + An blood an slauter, rape an gore + In Bel Le France will rain no more. + +Aint that terrible, Mable? I read it to one fello an he said it made him +absolutely sick. He said he didn't see how I could rite it without +gettin sick myself. Just between me an you Mable I did come pretty near +being once or twice when I was ritin it. + +[Illustration: "IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES WINDIN UP YOUR +VICTROLA"] + +Most of all thats confidential but I dont care if you read it to some of +your friends just to give em a good idea of what war is. Some of the +things aint very nice of course. If your ritin big stuff though you +got to put in everything that comes into your head, or else you lose the +punch. I think the ends the best. A lot of fellos has said that. We +ought to have more of that. It gets the slackers. + +The Rine is a German river where they make wine near Berlin, Mable. + +You keep menshuning a fello named Broggins in your letters. Now I aint +got a spark of jelusy in my nature. Big. Thats me all over, Mable. But I +warn you frankly. If I ever catch one of those ailin enemies windin up +your victrola Ill kick him out of the house. Thats only fair. It isn't +that I care a snap. Theres plenty of girls waitin for me. Its just the +principul of the thing. + +Dont think for a minit that I care. I just menshun it cause I couldnt +think of nothin else to say. + + Yours till you here otherwise, + _Bill._ + + + +_Pom de mon oie:_ + +You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish. It means apple of my eye. I never +saw an apple in nobodys eye, Mable, but I guess thats some +French custom. + +Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience department +in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about the 15th of Feb. +Dont say nothin to nobody about it. It might look as if I was gettin +mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on the 5th tho. Then I wont +have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your glad. Its great to think of +gettin into a place where you cant see through the walls and there aint +three inches of mud on the floor. An think of not havin to tie the doors +together when you come in or crawl underneath em on your hans and nees +and not havin to put everything you own in the world under the bed. But +I guess you dont care as much about these things as I will. + +This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the fello +that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in civil life +or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the other night the +silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been seen since. + +[Illustration: "STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS"] + +We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a pair. Keep +everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot about as well as +me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of wood that he has to +hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that it jumps up and down like +a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do when they get awful hot. Were not +bothered by that much though. + +We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus MacKenzie. +Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have lots of air or hed +smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the tent by his bed. No one +likes fresh air in its place better than me, Mable, but when its as +fresh as this air is its place is outside. + +I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys things +in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I get cramps. +If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin is as warm as a +park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push my feet down. +That's awful. + +One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of the +blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside snorin. Can you +beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter home and has his pictur +in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before I could get my head back. +Thats the kind of a fello he is. + +Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first is just +for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I dont take too +many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up just before +assembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin dressed. He dont fool +nobody. The only thing he takes off at nite is his hat. Some says that +falls off when he gets into bed. + +Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is furlined. +You can hear him smashin the ice in the pale with a hair brush outside. +Then you can tell hes washin by the noise he makes like a busted steam +pipe. Then he comes smashin into the tent leavin the door open and wipes +the ice off en his face with somebody elses towel an says gosh thats +great. I hate that kind of a fello. + +Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos everything +would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in the dark next +mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable. + +[Illustration: "WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS +STARVIN"] + +I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all right. +Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and couldnt. The +first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I thought I was starvin. +I looked like one of them picturs of hungry Indiens that the mishunaries +show you just before they pass the plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later +and says why didnt somebody tell him he was gettin so fat cause he +couldnt go home on a furlo like that. He didnt eat nothin for three +meals and then he looked at hisseif with the mirror turned the other +way. Its like one of those Coney Island places where a fello can go in +and laff at hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break. + +I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I dont +sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont say nothin +about what I told you in the beginnin. + +Until the 15th Feb. then. + + Yours faithfully, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order out +against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley coat +awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order against em. +Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for less than he paid +for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day they issue an order that +you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to go home an put an order out +against it. If theyd only come right out an say Bill Smith were goin to +get you. Sneaky. Thats what I call it, Mable. + +Ive half a mind to transfer back to the artillery. If I transfer much +more theyll be chargin me extra fare, eh Mable? Only for me an the +Captin not bein able to agree Id never have left. I understand hes been +awful sorry since. All you have to do in artillery is to put a bullet in +the gun. It does the rest. In the infantry you got to go up and do all +the dirty work yourself. + +[Illustration: "THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT."] + +Besides Im gettin leery of these infantry fellos. There always talking +about what were goin to do to the Germans, blowin em to pieces and +slicin em up an throwin em all around the lot. I got thinkin what if +the Germans was learnin there men to do the same thing. They never seem +to figger on these things. + +An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of fellos in +a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some ones goin to +get hurt sure. + +I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if he ever +gets takin like that again not to send such a large box but-well you +explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing much better than +I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a vest as +soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he knows whats +what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before the war started +send em to the soldiers. They wont know the difference. Some wimen sent +our regiment the Baptist Review for three years back. That aint right, +Mable. They give you candy that comes by the bale. Then they come round +an watch you eat it. I bet if you walked into there place an watched +them eat theyd raise an awful holler. They make speeches to you that +youd get your money back without askin up north. They give you free +movies thats so old they look as if they was taken in the rain. + +It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter so much +as long as theres lots of it. + +Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a china +plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on me. Im awful +sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put food in it it folds +up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes months to make a good +mess kit eater. + +We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter. One of +them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your cup an half +on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess they are old +Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate splash an knocks it +squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate an knocks it the other +way. When you get it all its runnin out of one dish up your sleeve an +out of the other back into the food pans. + +Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful stupid. If +theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim on it. Then +they pour the soup on your cover. + +When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the table. It +isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as it hits. + +[Illustration: "ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"] + +You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many overcoats and +things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some fellos eats with +there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though. It makes things taste +like eatin peaches with there skins on. + +The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply Sargent +once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a spoonful of +loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and leaves a couple +of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on the next fello. Never +complain. Thats me all over. + +Well Mable I got to shine my shoes now and go and eat offen china plates +with a nigger waiter. I dont eat with a nigger waiter, Mable. Its awful +hard to explain things to you sometimes. So now I will close. + + Hoping you are the same + _Bill_ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I been thinkin of you a lot durin the last weak, Mable, havin nothin +else to do. I been in the hospital with the Bronxitis. I guess I caught +it from Joe Loomis. He comes from there. Id have rote you in bed but I +dropped my fountin pen on the floor an bent it. Im all right now. + +I got some news for you, Mable. The cook says we only drew ten days +supply of food last time. He says he guesses when we et that up well go +to France. Hes an awful smart fello the cook. Hes got a bet on that if +the allys dont buck up an win the Germans is comin out ahead. Max +Glucos, a fello in the tent, is refere. Were all eatin as fast as we +can. Perhaps we can eat it all in less than ten days. So maybe well be +gone, Mable, before I rite you from here again. + +Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the war is +goin to be over quick. He ought to know cause hes been over there an +seen the whole thing. He smokes cigarets something awful an dont say +much. Thats because the poor cus cant talk much English. It must be +awful not to talk English. Think of not bein able to say nothin all +your life without wavin your arms round an then lookin it up in a +dickshunary. + +[Illustration: "HE SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL"] + +I feel so sorry for these fellos that Im studiin French a lot harder sos +theyll have someone to talk to when we get over there. Im readin a book +now thats rote all in French. No English in it anywhere, Mable. A fello +told me that was the only way to talk it good. I dont understand it very +well so far. The only way I kno its French is by the picturs. Some day +Im goin to find out what the name is. Then Im goin to get the English of +it. Those are some picturs. Aint I fierce, Mable? I guess thats why I +get on with wimen so well. + +I gave up readin it out loud cause the fellos said it made em think they +was in Paris so much they got restles. I cant speak no better yet. I +guess that comes all at once at the end of the book. + +As soon as we got the hot shouers all fixed the pipes busted. So the +other day the Captin walked us all in town to take a bath. I didnt need +one much. I used my head more than most of em. Last fall when it was +warm I took as many as two a week an got away ahead of the game. I went +along though. More for the walk than anything. + +I saw the Captin didnt make no move to take a bath hisself. I thought he +might be shy. He dont mix very well with the fellos. I felt sorry for +him. Everyone else was laffin an throwin things with him standin off an +noone throwin a thing at him. I went up an says "Aint you goin to take a +bath this winter to, Captin?" Just jolly, Mable, that all. I says, "You +dont want to mind the bunch. They dont care a bit. There as dirty as you +are anyway. Probably more." An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen +the Captin do a stroke of work since we come here. Just stands round +givin orders. + +I says, "If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine. I was just +goin to have it washed anyway." He got awful red and embarassed Mable. I +thought he was goin to choke. Hes awful queer. + +Just like the other mornin he calls me over an says, "Smith, my +orderlies sick. You can shine my boots this mornin." He said it like Id +been beggin him to for a month. An then he says, "Smith you can lite the +fire in my stove." He had me thinkin he was doin me favors. He said I +might put some oil on his boots if I wished. I says that would be a +great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind or the fellos would think +he was playin favorites. I guess he didnt here me Mable cause hed just +gone out. I said it anyway. I didnt care if he wasnt there. Spunky. +Thats me all over. + +[Illustration: "I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF HIS LAMP"] + +I couldnt find no oil for his boots anywhere, Mable, so I poured some +out of his lamp. An then I dont think that suited him. Queer fello +the Captin. + +I keep herein more about this fello Broggins. I suppose he belongs to +the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the evenin. An I suppose +he has an American flag on his ritin paper. It dont mean nothin in my +life. I aint goin to put up no arguments or get nasty like most fellos +would. Dignity. Thats me all over, Mable. Let me tell you though if I +ever come home and find him shinin his elbos on the top of your baby +grand Ill kick him down the front steps if I only have one leg to do +it with. + +Im ritin this in the Y.M.C.A. in the afternoon cause Im goin on guard +tonite. I dont see why they dont make it a permenant detail and be done +with it. Someone said the top sargents a man of one idea. I guess Im the +idea. I didnt go out to drill this afternoon. I didnt say nothin to the +Sargent though cause sargents have an idea that if they dont get a lot +of fellos to go out to drill with them they dont look popular. I got to +go new sos to get in my tent before they come from drill. + + As ever + on guard, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold I couldnt say nothin for +most a weak. + +Well Mable, we et all the food like the cook said but we aint in France +yet. I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had. Everyone is +sore at him cause we didnt kick at none of his food for more than a weak +thinkin that when wed et it all wed go away. He thinks its funny an says +"Do youse guys think this war is a Cooks tour?" I hate fellos what tries +to get out of things by bein smart. + +Everythings covered with mud includin me. I seem to attract mud like I +was a maggot, Mable. Yesterday I spent all the afternoon shinin up for +guard sos to be the Colonels orderly. Then I step out of the tent and +flui. The Sargent says, "Smith dont you know enuff not to go on guard +lookin like that?" + +I even got mud in my hair. Max Glucos says when he combs his its like +rakin out a garden. From what I seen of him though I dont see how he +found out. + +[Illustration: "I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR"] + +[Illustration: "THE WATER COMES THROUGH ON ME"] + +Its pourin rain an awful cold. Its so cold that the tooth past rolls +right offen your brush in the morning. The Captin has a cold in his +nose. He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as today. +Taint nothin gainst him Mable but I hope he has a cold all winter. + +Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where the water comes through on +me. I put a slicker over me last nite. The water made puddles in it. +Then when I turned over they spilt out into my shoes. This had me +guessin Mable till finally I put Max Glucoses shoes there instead of +mine. Angus MacKenzie had so many holes over his cot that it looked like +one of those safety fire sprinklers. He got up last nite and rigged his +shelter half sos the water hit it an run down onto the next cot. Hes a +brite fello, Angus, even if he is a forener. + +The other day he had some medecine for a cold. It says on the bottle +that it was 17 per cent alcohol. He drank the whole thing right down sos +nobody couldnt get hold of it. It made him awful sick but he says thats +because he isnt used to it for such a long time. Me an hims goin down +next week to put in a stock of tonics. Its awful hard to rite letters, +Mable. Somebodys always fallin over your feet or draggin something wet +over the paper if youve got a cot near the door like mine is. An when +you get goin finally at about the fourth try some sargent always comes +in with a list and makes you check up something. + +Sometimes I go over to the Y.M.C.A., Mable. But as soon as you get ritin +a bald headed fello jumps up an says "Now fellos well all sing." All the +fellos whats ritin looks up an says "Aw one thing and another." I dont +know who the bald headed fello is. They got one in every Y.M.C.A. They +all look about alike. I guess there a regular issue. Theys always a +bunch of fellos what dont seem to kno why they came. They all start +singin. Then I cant rite no more or do nothin. So I come home an go to +bed. Independent. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Most of the taxis is swalowed up in the mud. Theys only two or three +runnin now. Only the big strong fellos can get to town. The cook says +its the old theory of the arrival of the fittest. But I guess you dont +know nothin about cience, Mable. When I go to town I wrap my blouze in a +newspaper. If they know your goin they give you a list of things to get +that looks like a Chinese Message to Congress. By the time you go to +come home you got so many bundles you look like one of those fellos in +the Funny Papers. Everyone stands in the square lookin like a hat rack +waitin for the three taxis to come along. When they see one they rush +it like they do in the movies when the milunares cars runs over the poor +fellos kid. If goin over the top is any worse than gettin under the top +of one of them things with fifty bundles an as many fellos then Sherman +didnt know many swear words, eh Mable? But thats history. I guess you +wouldnt understand. + +An then when you get home without a bath or a hair cut or the movies or +nothin, an you forgot to get that shavin soap for yourself an spent all +your money they say "Thanks Bill. Put it over there. Can you change a +ten dollar bill?" There ought to be a law against makin money in such +big numbers. + +Im glad you taken up singin lessons again. You ought to take a lot of +em. I got a favor to ask. I dont do that offen. Proud. Thats me all +over. But if that fello Broggins keeps buttin round sing for him Mable. +It aint askin much with me down here defendin you. Although I dont see +why I had to come down here to do it. + + Yours internally, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +This is the last time I will ever take my pen in hand for you. All is +over among us. + +I felt it comin for some time Mable. Today among some letters that I got +from girls was one from a girl what knos you well. She told me all about +this fello Broggins. She says you take him around with you everywhere. +Thats the kind of a fello I thought he was, Mable, but Im surprized at +you. She says your awful fond of him hes so cute. I aint cute an aint +never pretended to be. A mans man. Thats me all over, Mable. She says +she went up to your house the other night an he was sittin in your lap +stickin his tongue out at my pictur on the mantlepiece. After that, +Mable, theres nothin to say. So I repeat, its all over among us. + +Im returnin today by parcels post the red sweter an the gloves that has +no fingers an the sox that you wear over your head an your pictur. Most +of the stuff aint been used much. The pictur has some mud on it cause I +had to keep it in the bottom of my barrak bag an my shoes came next. The +sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe Glucos an you wouldnt +want em now. + +[Illustration: "THE LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PEN IN HAND FOR YOU"] + +The stuff that you sent me to eat I havnt kept. I guess you wouldnt want +that anyway Mable. The stuff that your mother sent me Im going to keep. +She wasnt my girl an she didnt have to send all that stuff if she +didnt want to. + +As for all the things I have give you, Mable, keep em. I dont want em no +more. I aint even goin to menshun all the money Ive spent on you for +movies an sodas an the Lord knows what not. I aint the kind of a fello +to throw that up to a fello or even menshun it in no ways. I kept track +of it though in a little book. It comes to $28.27 and some odd sense. + +An I aint agoin to hold it up against you that I been savin in the bank +for most two years sos to have a little somethin towards that house with +the green blinds. An that I got somethin like $87.22 in the bank if you +can believe what that eagle beak in the cage rites in your book. All +wasted you might say, when you think of the fun I might have had with it +in the last two years. Those things we'll just forget. You seem to +have already. + +An that seasons pass I got for you for the Happyhour sos you could keep +in touch with things while I was away. Keep that and take Broggins. +Otherwise I got a hunch you aint goin to the movies as much as you +used to. + +I guess this will hit your father an mother pretty hard. They got nobody +to blame but yourself. On the other hand its goin to please some girls +that I know. So its a poor wind that dont blow nobody round as the poets +say. I guess you wont here much about the poets any more, Mable. About +all youll here is Broggins. I hate a man what talks about himself. + +I suppose he has joined the Home defence. Are you goin to have a +military weddin, Mable? + +Im kind of sorry for your father. If you have his liver on your hands +dont blame me. You know the doctor said any kind of a shock would set +him off a mile. + +An now, Mable, Im closin for the last time. It wont be no use runin to +the door when you here the postman no more cause he wont have nothin but +the gas bill. From now on the only way youll here from me is in the +papers perhaps when we get over there. + +Now Im going to ask you a favor, Mable, for old times sake. Take the +pictur I had taken pointin to the American flag an burn it up. You cant +have that to show your friends no more an I aint goin to have no flat +foot makin faces at it. I may be selfish, Mable, but a girl cant make a +cake an eat it too as the old sayin is. + +[Illustration: "IT WONT BE NO USE RUNIN TO THE DOOR"] + +Give my best to your father an mother. Tell em I simpathize with them +in there loss. Its no use ritin any more cause Im firm as the rock of +Gibber Alter. Concrete. Thats me all over, Mable. + + as ever + yours no longer + Bill + + + +WESTERN UNION +TELEGRAM + +RECEIVED AT Philopolis, N.Y. + +Miss Mable Gimp + 106 Main Street + Philopolis, N.Y. + +Dere Mable: How was I to know +Broggins was a dog. You can send +back all your stuff and make me some +more if you want to. This telegram +is costing me nine cents a word so I +cant say no more now. Thrifty. +Thats me all over, Mable. + + Bill. + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dere Mable, by Edward Streeter + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13993 *** diff --git a/13993-h/13993-h.htm b/13993-h/13993-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2c4ee19 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-h/13993-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1635 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta name="generator" content= +"HTML Tidy for Windows (vers 1st February 2004), see www.w3.org"> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content= +"text/html; charset=UTF-8"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Dere Mable, by Edward +Streeter.</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { margin-top: .75em; + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + blockquote {text-align: justify; + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%;} + IMG { + BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; + BORDER-TOP: 0px; + BORDER-LEFT: 0px; + BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px } + .ctr { TEXT-ALIGN: center } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13993 ***</div> + +<a name="cover.jpg"></a> +<p class="ctr"><a href="images/cover.jpg"><img src= +"images/cover.jpg" width="50%" alt=""></a></p> +<a name="003.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><a href="images/003.png"><img src="images/003.png" +width="40%" alt=""></a><br> +<b>MABLE</b></p> +<br> +<h1><i>Dere Mable</i>--</h1> +<h3>LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE</h3> +<h5>BY</h5> +<h3>EDWARD STREETER</h3> +<h6>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h6> +<h5>WITH 35 ILLUSTRATIONS IN BLACK-AND-WHITE BY</h5> +<h3>G. WILLIAM BRECK</h3> +<h4>("<i>Bill Breck</i>")</h4> +<h5>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h5> +<br> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/004.png" width="10%" alt=""></p> +<br> +<h5>1918</h5> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>DEDICATION</h2> +<br> +<blockquote>To a million Private Bills who have suddenly learnt to +call a coat a blouse. Taking things as they find them. Vaguely +understanding. Caring less. Grumbling by custom. Cheerful by +nature. Ever anxious to be where they are not. Ever anxious to be +somewhere else when they get there. Without thought of sacrifice. +Who have left the flag-waving to those at home. Who serve as a +matter of course.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr> +<td><a href="#003.png">Mable</a></td> +<td align="right"><i>Frontispiece</i></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#012.png">The only place there flat is on the +map</a>"</td> +<td align="right">2</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#013.png">You can read em to your +granchildren</a>"</td> +<td align="right">3</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#016.png">You walk a post but there aint no +post</a>"</td> +<td align="right">4</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#020.png">I just found it in my bakin can</a>"</td> +<td align="right">6</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#024.png">I dont like any sargeant</a>"</td> +<td align="right">8</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#025.png">I dont care much for horses, they feels the +same way about me</a>"</td> +<td align="right">9</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#028.png">Max Glucos what lives on the next +cot</a>"</td> +<td align="right">10</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#029.png">Smith are you laffin at me?</a>"</td> +<td align="right">11</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#034.png">One day its our teeth</a>"</td> +<td align="right">14</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#038.png">Remember me to your mother</a>"</td> +<td align="right">16</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#042.png">Not the kind your father has</a>"</td> +<td align="right">18</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#043.png">I wear them every night over my +uniform</a>"</td> +<td align="right">19</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#046.png">I been made an officer</a>"</td> +<td align="right">20</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#047.png">Somebodied set a trunk on the +turky</a>"</td> +<td align="right">21</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#050.png">Built like the leg of a sailurs +trowsers</a>"</td> +<td align="right">22</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#054.png">You paint a horse black and white +stripes</a>"</td> +<td align="right">24</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#058.png">I spent mine doin Kitchen police</a>"</td> +<td align="right">26</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#059.png">I wish that hired girl could come +down</a>"</td> +<td align="right">27</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#064.png">A croquette is a French society +woman</a>"</td> +<td align="right">30</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#068.png">I sat next to a Colonels wife</a>"</td> +<td align="right">32</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#072.png">Men hate to be watched while they are +freezin</a>quot;</td> +<td align="right">34</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#076.png">I had a reputashun for a devil with the +wimen</a>"</td> +<td align="right">36</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#080.png">It seemed to depres them awful</a>"</td> +<td align="right">38</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#084.png">If I catch one of those ailin enemies +windin up your victrola</a>"</td> +<td align="right">40</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#088.png">Stuck my head out of the blankets</a>"</td> +<td align="right">42</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#092.png">When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I +was starvin</a>"</td> +<td align="right">44</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#096.png">They come round an watch you eat +it</a>"</td> +<td align="right">46</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#100.png">Army food always runs</a>"</td> +<td align="right">48</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#104.png">He smokes cigarets something +awful</a>"</td> +<td align="right">50</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#108.png">I poured some oil out of his lamp</a>"</td> +<td align="right">52</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#112.png">I even got mud in my hair</a>"</td> +<td align="right">54</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#113.png">The water comes through on me</a>"</td> +<td align="right">55</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#118.png">The last time I will take my pen in hand +for you</a>"</td> +<td align="right">58</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#122.png">It wont be no use runin to the +door</a>"</td> +<td align="right">60</td> +</tr> +</table> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>Dere Mable</h2> +<h3>Love Letters of a Rookie</h3> +<p><i>Dere Mable:</i></p> +<br> +<p>I guess you thought I was dead. Youll never know how near you +was to right. We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit +to rite. I guess they choose these camps by mail order. The only +place there flat is on the map. Where our tents is would make a +good place for a Rocky Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck. The +first day the Captin came out an says "Pitch your tents here." Then +he went to look for someone quick before anyone could ask him how. +I wish I was a Captin. I guess he thought we was Alpine Chasers. +Eh, Mable? But you probably dont know what those are.</p> +<p>Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the +Panamah Canal it would have been workin long before it was. Of +course there was a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like +all they did was to stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em +out.</p> +<p>The Captin appresheates me though. The other day he watched me +work awhile and then he says "Smith." He calls me Smith now. We got +very friendly since I been nice to him. I noticed none of the other +fellos had much to say to him. I felt kind of sorry for him. Hes a +human bein even if he is a Captin, Mable. So every time I saw him I +used to stop him and talk to him. Democratic. Thats me all over, +Mable. "Smith" he says "If they was all like you round here war +would be hell, no joke." By which he meant that we would make it +hot for the Boshes.</p> +<p>I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable. What with missin me +and your fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been +awful lonesome for you. It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot +of fellos hangin round all the time. Not that you couldnt have em, +Mable, but you dont an theres no use makin no bones about it. If it +hadnt been for me I guess things would have been pretty stupid +though I dont begrudge you a cent. You know how I am with my money. +I guess you ought to anyway. Eh, Mable? Never talk of money matters +in connexun with a woman. Thats me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="012.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/012.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT IS ON THE MAP"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<a name="013.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/013.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU CAN READ EM TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Now I got started an found a fountin pen an the Y.M.C.A. givin +away paper like it does Im goin to rite you regular. They say there +goin to charge three sents for a letter pretty soon. That aint goin +to stop me though, Mable. There aint no power in heavin or earth, +as the poets say, as can come between you and me, Mable. You mite +send a few three sent stamps when you rite. That is if your fathers +able to work yet. And willin, I should add.</p> +<p>Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what +you get from me as a record of the war. Some day you can read em to +your granchildren an say "Your Granfather Bill did all these +things." Aint I the worst, Mable? Serious though I havnt found +noone so far what has thought of doin this except the newspapers. I +guess Ill get a lot of inside stuff that theyll never see. So this +may be the only one of its kind. But it doesnt matter to me what +you do with them, Mable.</p> +<p>Later Ill tell you all about everything but I guess you wont +understand much cause its tecknickle. Lots of the fellos are gettin +nitted things and candy and stuff right along. Dont pay no +attenshun to that, though, or take it for a hint cause it aint. I +just say it as a matter of rekord. Independent if nothin. Thats me +all over.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till the war ends<br> + <i>Bill</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Having nothin better to do I take up my pen to rite.</p> +<p>We have been here now three weeks. As far as I am concerned I am +all ready to go. I told the Captin that I was ready any time. He +said yes, but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they +was all goin together. I says was I to go out to drill with the +rest. He said yes more for the example than anything else. Its kind +of maddening to be hangin round here when I might be over there +helpin the Sammies put a stop to this thing.</p> +<br> +<a name="016.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/016.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST"</b></p> +<br> +<p>In the mean time I been doin guard duty. Seems like I been doin +it every night but I know what there up against and I dont say +nothin. Guard duty is something like extemperaneus speakin. You got +to know everything your goin to say before you start. Its very +tecknickle. For instance you walk a post but there aint no post. An +you mount guard but you dont really mount nothin. An you turn out +the guard but you dont really turn em out. They come out them +selves. Just the other night I was walkin along thinkin of you +Mable an my feet which was hurtin. It made me awful lonesome. An +officer come up and he says why dont you draw your pistol when you +here someone comin. An I says I dont wait till the sheep is stole I +drew it this afternoon from the Supply sargent. An I showed it to +him tucked inside my shirt where noone could get it away from me +without some tussel, you bet, Mable. But it seems that you got to +keep on drawin it all the time. Then later I here footsteps. I was +expectin the relief so I was right on the job. An a man come up and +I poked my pistol right in his face an says Halt. Who goes there? +And he says Officer of the day. An bein disappointed as who wouldnt +be I says Oh hell. I thought it was the relief. An he objected to +that. The relief, Mable--but whats the use you wouldnt understand +it.</p> +<p>Theres some mistake up north Mable about the way were built, +Mable. Its kind of depresin to think that you could forget about us +so quick. Everyones gettin sweters without sleeves and gloves +without fingers. We still got everything we started with Mable. Why +not sox without feet and pants without legs. If your makin these +things for after the war I think your anticipatin a little. Besides +its depresin for the fellos to be reminded all the time. Its like +givin a fello a life membership to the Old Soldiers home to cheer +him up when he sails. I was sayin the other day that if the fellos +at Washington ever get onto this theyll be issuin soleles shoes and +shirtles sleves.</p> +<p>Its gettin awful cold. No wonder this is a healthy place. All +the germs is froze. I guess there idea of the hardenin proces is to +freeze a fello stiff. The Captin said the other day we was gettin +in tents of trainin. Thats all right but Id kind of like to see +those steam heated barraks. Youve red about those fellos that go +swimmin in the ice in winter. I guess thed like our shouer baths. +They say Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Mable. I say its next to +impossible.</p> +<p>I started this letter almost a weak ago. I just found it in my +bakin can. They call it a bakin can but its too small to bake +nothin. I keep my soap in it. I got some news for you. The regiment +is to be dismantled. The Captin called me over this mornin and +asked me where Id like to be transferred. I said home if it was the +same to him. So there goin to send me to the artillery. This is a +very dangerous and useful limb of the servus, Mable. I dont kno my +address. Just write me care of the General.</p> +<p>I got the red muffler that your mother sent me. Give her my love +just the same</p> +<blockquote>yours relentlessly,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<a name="020.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/020.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I JUST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable</i>:</h2> +<br> +<p>I havnt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately. When +they broke up our regiment and sent me over to the artillery I +thought I was goin to quit usin my feet. That was just another +roomor.</p> +<p>Thanks for the box of stuff you sent me. I guess the brakeman +must have used it for a chair all the way. It was pretty well baled +but that dont matter. And thanks for the fudge too. That was fudge +wasnt it, Mable? And the sox. They dont fit but I can use them for +somethin. A good soldier never throws nothin away. An thank your +mother for the half pair of gloves she sent me. I put them away. +Maybe sometime shell get a chance to nit the other half. Or if I +ever get all my fingers shot off theyll come in very handy.</p> +<p>The artillerys a little different from the infantry. They make +us work harder. At least theres more work on the skedule. I know +now what they mean when they say that the "artillerys active on the +western front."</p> +<p>They got a drill over here called the standin gun drill. The +names misleadin. I guess it was invented by a troop of Jap +akrobats. They make you get up and sit on the gun. Before you can +get settled comfortable they make you get down again. It looks like +they didnt know just what they did want you to do.</p> +<p>I dont like the Sargent. I dont like any sargent but this one +particular. The first day out be kept sayin "Prepare to mount" and +then "Mount." Finally I went up to him and told him that as far as +I was concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared +to do what I was told even though it was the middle of the night. +He said, Fine, then I was probably prepared to scrub pans all day +Sunday.</p> +<p>I dont care much for horses. I think they feels the same way +about me. Most of them are so big that the only thing there good +for is the view of the camp you get when you climb up. They are +what they call hors de combat in French. My horse died the other +day. I guess it wasnt much effort for him. If it had been he +wouldnt have done it.</p> +<p>They got a book they call Drill Regulations Field and Light. +Thats about as censible as it is all the way through. For instance +they say that when the command for action is given one man jumps +for the wheel and another springs for the trail an another leaps +for the muzzle. I guess the fellow that rote the regulations +thought we was a bunch of grass hoppers.</p> +<br> +<a name="024.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/024.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="025.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/025.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I DONT CARE MUCH FOR HORSES, THEY FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT +ME"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch of other girls. Thanks +again for the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good +but that dont matter.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Todays Thanksgivin. Im thankful things aint no worse though Max +Glucos what lives on the next cot says they couldnt be. Cheery an +bright to the last. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Every man gets ateen ounces of Turky on Thanksgivin. All to +himself, Mable. The sargent says the commitee on Hays and Beans at +Washington decides that. Mines inside. Im most to full for +expreshun as the poets say. We had a great dinner. Soup an turky, +dressin, crambury sause an pie an smashed potatoes. All in one +plate. I wish you could have heard how the fellos enjoyed it Mable. +I know now why they call the turkys gobblers.</p> +<p>Thanksgivin is a holiday. All a fello has to do on a holiday in +the artillery is to feed the horses an give em a drink an smooth em +out an take em for a walk an then feed em an smooth em out an feed +em an give em a drink. It makes a fello feel like givin back a +dollar out of his pay at the end of the month.</p> +<br> +<a name="028.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/028.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"MAX GLUCOS WHAT LIVES ON THE NEXT COT"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="029.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/029.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME?"</b></p> +<br> +<p>The horses has the softest of anyone, Mable. They dont even have +to get up for breakfast in the morning. We bring it to em in a +little bag filled with cereul. You tie this on there face. I guess +they aint never been fed before the war broke out. When they see +you comin they start jumpin round like starvin sailurs. I dont +guess they like cereul. I wouldnt ether three times a day. I +thought theyd give em somethin different Thanksgivin but not a +chance. There always hopin it ull be somethin else I guess. When +they see the same old thing they get sore and try to step on your +feet.</p> +<p>The sargents stand way behind an say "Go on in. They wont hurt +you." An then when they land on your corn they say "Thats to bad. +You didnt do it right." I dont like sargents any better than +horses.</p> +<p>An I dont kno as Im going to like the Captin much better ether. +The other day I got laffin while I was standin in line. Just laffin +to myself. Not disturbin nobody. The Captin turns round an says +"Smith are you laffin at me?" I says no sir an he says "Well what +else was there to laff at?" Thats the kind of a fello he is. I +didn't sass him back or nothin, Mable. Just looked at him an made +him feel cheap. I saw him again in the afternoon. Course I didnt +salute. He says "What do you mean by not salutin?" I told him I +thought he was mad. Im glad Im not his wife, Mable. You never know +how to take a fello like that.</p> +<p>If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given him two weaks +notise on the spot. Duty before pleasure though. Thats me all +over.</p> +<p>We took the guns out to drill the other day. The Captin was +talkin about indirect firin. Thats the way he is. Nothin straight +forward about him. I asked the sargent about it. He said indirect +firin was where you shot at one thing an aimed at another. I hate +to butt in Mable but it didnt seem right. I says I seen the Indien +girl in the circus shoot the spots out of a card over her shoulder +but wouldnt it be more censible to cut out the trick stuff till we +was more used to the thing. You cant argue with sargents, +though.</p> +<p>Day after tomorrows inspecshun. They do it every Saturday. Thats +another thing Im thankful for. Theres only one Saturday a weak. We +pull everything out an pile it on our cots. Then the Captin an the +Sargent comes in. Every time its the same. He says "Thats very +dirty Smith wheres your other shirt." An I say "I aint got none, +sir." An he says "Sargent make a note of that." An then the Sargent +rites somethin in a little book. Next time just the same. The +Captin says wheres my shirt an the sargent makes a note. I guess +theres somethin in the drill regulations what makes him say that +cause I aint got no other shirt yet.</p> +<p>Well Mable Im gettin hungry again now. Guess Ill have to stop an +buy a couple of pies. We dont get nothin to eat for an hour +yet.</p> +<blockquote>yours till the ice cracks in the pale,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<p>P.S. I had to borrow a stamp for this letter. I went down town +yesterday an spent my last sent on a money belt. Its a good one +though.</p> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Rainin today. No drill so Im going to rite you. If I dont get no +exercise I go all to pieces. Im back from the artillery into the +infantry. Captin an I had different ideas about runnin things. One +of us had to leave. Hed been there longest. I left. Hot headed. +Thats me all over.</p> +<p>Were doin baynut drill now. I cant say nothin about it. Its not +for wimens ears. We have one place where we hit the Hun in the nose +an rip all the decorashuns offen his uniform all in one stroke. +Then theres another where you give him a shave an a round hair cut +an end by knocking his hat over his eyes. Then the wiperzup come +over with a lot of bums an do the dirty work. I an the rest of the +fellos go ahead an take another trench. I havnt been able to find +out yet where we take it.</p> +<p>Its all worked out cientifick. The fello who doped it out had +some bean. The principul of the thing is to get the other fello an +not let him get you. If the allys bad doped out some skeme like +this the war would have been over now. There wouldnt have been no +Huns left. It takes us Uncle Sammies. Eh Mable?</p> +<br> +<a name="034.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/034.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"ONE DAY IT'S OUR TEETH"</b></p> +<br> +<p>There gettin up a thrift campain now Mable. First they sell us +enough Liberty Bonds to buy a brand new army an let us go home. +Then they cram a lot of insurence at you what wont never do you no +good after your killed. Then I guess they found that someone still +had a couple of dollars left so they made us send that back home. +Now there gettin up a thrift campain Mable. They dont want us to +spend our money foolish sos we can buy the Singer Buildin or a Ford +or somethin like that when the war is over.</p> +<p>Some one say that we was the highest payed army in the world. +Besides all this money we get our bed and board. I guess they dont +know that in the army bed and board mean the same thing. Eh, Mable? +Still the same old Bill.</p> +<p>There always inspectin us. I feel like a piece of prize beef. +They never inspect a man all the way through. I guess the +inspecters get payed by the day durin the duration of the +inspecshun. One day its our teeth an another our heart an another +our lungs. The other day we was all lined up in the company street +and the Sargent says "Inspecshun arms." I lays down my gun an rolls +up my sleves. Just to show you how tecknickle the army is he didnt +want to see my arms at all but my gun. Hows a fello goin to tell, +Mable?</p> +<p>I went up for thirds at breakfast the other morning as usual an +the cook said "You seem to like coffee." Right away without stoppin +to think or nothin I says back "Yes thats the reason Im willin to +drink so much hot water to get some." Eh, Mable?</p> +<p>Went to a dance the other night and met some swell girls. I made +em all laff. I says I guess I got the instinks of a soldier all +right. The minit I smell powder Im right on my tows.</p> +<p>I havent been very well lately. I guess Ill cut out eatin at +meals. It spoils my appitite for the rest of the day. I kno youll +be glad to kno my feet aint hurtin so much. Remember me to the +hired girl and your mother.</p> +<blockquote>Yours through the winter,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<a name="038.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/038.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"REMEMBER ME TO YOUR MOTHER"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Chair Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats French. I didnt expect you to kno what it meant though. +The Y.M.C.A. are learnin me French now. I only had three lessons so +far but I can talk it pretty good. You know how quick I am at +pickin up any kind of trick stuff like that. The only difference +between French and English is that there pretty near alike but the +French dont pronounce there words right.</p> +<p>When I use French words Ill underline them. Thatll give you some +idea of the languige.</p> +<p>When we get voila as the French say for over there itll come +handy to be able to sit down and have a dosy dos with them poilus. +(That means chew the rag in English.) A poilus Mable is a French +peasant girl an they say that they are very belle. (Now don't +mispronounce things an get sore till you know. You pronounce that +like the bell in push button. It means good lookers.) There crazy +about us fellos. They call us Sammies. They named one of there +rivers for us. You have heard of the battle of the Samme. But I +dont suppose you have.</p> +<p>They have been learnin us a lot about gas at attacks lately. +These are not the kind your father has. These are more like the +open places in the street on 6th avenoo. Only in the army when +anything like this happens they give you a gas mask. A gas mask is +like a cracked ice bag with windos in it. An in the front they got +a cigaret holder. I always heard how the French was cigaret feends. +I guess it got so bad they put in the holders sos they could smoke +during a gas attack.</p> +<p>Im goin to put on my mask an have my pictur took en cabinet. +Thats nothin to do with furniture, Mable. Its the French for what +its goin to look like when its done.</p> +<p>The gas fello said the other day that gas was perfectly safe +cause you could always tell when it was comin. You could hear it +escape or see it or smell it. The only trouble was, he said, that +when the gas started the machine guns made so much noise you +couldnt hear it an it always came at night sos you couldnt see it +and when you smelled it it was most to late to bother anyhow. I +been thinkin that over. Seems to me theres a joker in the contract +somewhere. Ask your father to read it over an see if it sound droit +(thats French for right) to him. Better still. Ask Higgins the +grocer to give it the once over. Hes got a grand tete as the French +say when they mean brains.</p> +<br> +<a name="042.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/042.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"NOT THE KIND YOUR FATHER HAS"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="043.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/043.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Its getting frappayer and frappayer down here (meaning colder +and colder). It got so cold that I put on those sox that you nitted +me. I guess I wont any more though. I guess my feet are going to +look like corderoy the rest of my life. Youll understand no hard +feelin I know. You know how delicate my feet is an how I cant +afford to prennez a hazard with them.</p> +<p>Thank your mother for the flannel pajammas. I wear them every +night over my uniform. I got to quit now an read some pictur post +cards that some girls sent me.</p> +<blockquote>Good night<br> +(or as the French say Robe de Nuit).</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I havnt rote for some time because I been made an officer.--a +corperal. I admit I deserved it. I didnt apply for it or nothin +though. They just come and told me.</p> +<p>Bein corperal means I dont have nothin more to do with details. +An at the same time I got more details than ever. Thats a sort of a +joke that us military men understand. You couldnt get it probably +Mable. Its tecknickle.</p> +<p>Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple of other officers borrowed +a couple of mules from the stable Sargent an went for a ride. We +saw a cabin that they said was a moonshiners hut but it was broad +daylight so you couldnt tell of course.</p> +<p>Its still cold. I wish thed hurry up and issue those gas masks. +Theyd come in handy these cold nights. The sargent told me that I +was goin to do interior guard tonight. I guess Im lucky to get +indoor work this wether.</p> +<br> +<a name="046.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/046.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I BEEN MADE AN OFFICER"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="047.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/047.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"SOMEBODIED SET A TRUNK ON THE TURKY"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You never saw such a place for roomors. These are army roomors. +They havnt got nothin to do with the kind your mother used to take +in. We here that were going next week an that were not goin at all +but were goin to be used to guard the Chicago stock yards. Then we +here that all the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the +dismounted men are goin to be mounted. An that the rest of us are +goin to be made cooks. An we here that all non coms are goin to be +abolished. Its awful hard to tell what is goin on.</p> +<p>I got your Thanksgivin box two days ago. It was only ten days +late. I guess the post office must have made some mistake. Things +is usually later than that. It was in good shape except that the +insides had been squoze out of the mince pie and somebodied set a +trunk on the turky. Of course I divided it up with my squad. Big +hearted. Thats me all over. Im awful popular with my men. They +offen say they wish Id be made a Major or somethin. My men ate up +all the stuff. All I saved for my self was the white meat an half a +mince pie. It certainly tastes good in the field. Of course we aint +in nobodies field. Thats a military expreshun. I cant explain +it.</p> +<p>I got to quit now an post a guard. At the same time Ill post +this letter to you. Thats a joke Mable. Im sorry this letter cant +be longer but as a man rises in the army he gets less an less time +to hisself. Olive oil.</p> +<blockquote>Yours faithlessly,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Cherry Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats the way the French begin there love letters. Its perfectly +proper. I would have rote you sooner but me an my fountin pens been +froze for a week. Washington will never know how lucky he was that +he got assigned to valley Forge instead of here. It got us out of +drill for a couple of days. Thats somethin. I guess Id rather +freeze than drill. Its awful when they make you do both though.</p> +<p>Two of my men has gone home on furlos. Me bein corperal I took +all there blankets. The men didnt like it but I got a squad of men +to look out for an my first duty is to keep fit. Duty first. Thats +me all over. I got so many blankets now that I got to put a book +mark in the place I get in at night or Id never find it again.</p> +<p>We spent most of our time tryin to find somethin to burn up in +the Sibly stoves. A sibly stove, Mable, is a piece of stove pipe +built like the leg of a sailurs trowsers. Old man Sibly must have +had a fine mind to think it out all by hisself. They say he got a +patent on it. I guess that must have been a slack winter in +Washington. The government gives us our wood but I guess that the +man who decided how much it was goin to give us had an office in +the Sandwitch Islands. I says the other day that if theyd dip our +allowance in fusfrus wed at least have matches, eh Mable? Im the +same old Bill, Mable. Crackin jokes an keepin everybody laffin when +things is blackest.</p> +<br> +<a name="050.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/050.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"BUILT LIKE THE LEG OF A SAILURS TROWSERS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I was scoutin round for wood today an burned up those military +hair brushes your mother gave me when we came away. I told her +theyd come in mighty handy some day.</p> +<p>They say a fello tried to take a shouer the other day. Before he +could get out it froze round him. Like that fello in the bible who +turned into a pillo of salt. They had to break the whole thing +offen the pipe with him inside it an stand it in front of the +stove. When it melted he finished his shouer an said he felt fine. +Thats how hard were gettin, Mable.</p> +<p>I bought a book on Minor Tackticks the other day. Thats not +about underaged tacks that live on ticks as you might suppose, +Mable. Its the cience of movin bodies of men from one place to +another. I thought it might tell of some way of gettin the squad +out of bed in the morning but it doesnt. All the important stuff +like that is camooflaged sos the Germans wont get onto it.</p> +<p>Camooflage is not a new kind of cheese Mable. Its a military +term. Camooflage is French for cauliflower which is a disguised +cabbage. It is the same thing as puttin powder on your face instead +of washin it. You deceive Germans with it. For instance you paint a +horse black and white stripes an a German comes along. He thinks +its a picket fence an goes right by. Or you paint yourself like a +tree an the Germans come an drink beer round you an tell military +sekruts.</p> +<p>Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable. I guess it +wont be a very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh? Cheer up cause Im +goin to think of you whenever I get time all day long. Im pretty +busy nowdays. I got to watch the men work. It keeps a fello on the +jump all the time. I like it though, Mable. Thats me all over. Isnt +it?</p> +<p>Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable. I bought somethin for +you but Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize. All that I +can say is that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more +than I could afford. An its worth a lot more. But you know how I am +with money. A spend drift. So dont send me anything please although +I need an electric flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them +sox that you wear on your head. Ill spend my last sent on anyone I +like but I dont want to be under no obligations. Independent. Thats +me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="054.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/054.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You might read this part to your mother. I dont want nothin from +her ether.</p> +<p>Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to +study.</p> +<blockquote>yours till the south is warm,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<p>Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77).</p> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Joli Dame:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable. Tinkers Dam is +tecknickle an aint even French. I wish you knew more about these +forin languiges. I always herd a fello could express himself better +in French than anything else. Thats because nobody can understand +him an he can say anything he wants.</p> +<p>The Christmas holidays is over. I spent mine doin Kitchen +police. The only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was +potatoes an the only thing what rung out was dish cloths. But I +guess you aint familiar enough with the poets to get that, Mable. +It shows that I can be funny an bright though even under adversary +conditions. Kitchen police dont explain what I do very well. I dont +walk a beet or carry a club or arrest nobody or nothin. I +just--well I wish that hired girl of yours could come down an do +Kitchen police for a couple of days. She wouldnt be quitten as +regular as she does.</p> +<br> +<a name="058.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/058.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="059.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/059.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven +instead of hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello what +blows the horn an he blew it at hap past six anyway. Imagine if +anybody home had told me I could sleep till a quarter of seven +Christmas morning. I guess you know what Id a told him, eh, +Mable?</p> +<p>Theres a fello in town what says he'll send flowers anywhere you +want by telegraph. I was goin to send you some for Christmas +morning. Then I figgered it was a silly idea. In the first place +theyd get all smashed on the way. An then you cant get enough +flowers in one of them little envelopes to make one good smell. +Nothin if not right. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>I had dinner in town with Max Glocoses mother. Hes a fello in +our tent. Shes a nice enough old lady but she aint military, Mable. +We was walkin down the street before dinner an salutin officers so +fast it looked like we was scratchin our forheds. An every time we +saluted she bowed. I didnt say nothin cause after all she was payin +for the dinner. Later on though she says. "I think its fine you +boys has made so many friends among the officers cause I think +there such nice men." Can you beat it Mable? An when she went home +she sent Max an officers hat cord cause she said she didnt think it +would fade as quick as that old blue thing he was wearin.</p> +<p>I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas presents you an +your mother sent. Im glad you minded what I said about not wantin +nothin although Id sent you two presents what was worth more than I +could afford ($4.87). As I said to Joe Loomis who was in the tent +when your presents came, it aint what the thing cost or wether you +could ever use it for anything. Its the thought. Sentiment before +pleasure. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Thanks for the red sweter, Mable. We aint allowed to use them. +But you dont want to feel bad about that cause I got lots of others +an didnt need it anyway. An tell your mother thanks for the +preserves an cake. I think thats what they was. They must have +packed them between a steam roller and a donkey engin from the +looks. Joe Loomis picked out most of the glass an tried some. Hed +eat anything, that fello, Mable. He said it must have been pretty +good when it started. Tell that to your mother. I know it will +please her.</p> +<p>I got so many presents from other girls an the like that its +kind of hard to remember if you sent me anything else. If you did +just tell me in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite +again.</p> +<p>I hope my presents arrived all right. I guess you'll like em. +You ought to at the price. As I says to the girl what sold em when +she says she didnt have nothin cheaper "Nothins to good for where +there goin." Isnt that tipical of me, Mable?</p> +<p>Well, Mable, perhaps next year Ill send you a Dutch helmit +maybe. It aint no use wishin you a happy New Year cause I know how +itll be with me away an your father what he is.</p> +<blockquote>Yours regardless,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Croquette:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats not the kind with the evenin dress tooth pick in the top, +Mable. A croquette is a French society woman. Study these letters +of mine an see how I use the words. You ought to be able to pick up +enough French to understand me talkin it when I come home.</p> +<p>Well, Mable, New Years are behind us again. Once more I made a +lot of revolushuns. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin for me to +change. Youre prejudiced. I can see falts where others cant. +Underneath a plesant exterior I am made of sterner stuff, as the +poets say. I have gave up frivolity with the exception of goin into +town once in a while to take a bath. Im strong for this sanity +stuff under any conditions.</p> +<p>Im makin a study of war. Im goin to tell you a sekrut. Im workin +on a plan to end the war. I got thinkin, as I will, an it struck me +that no one had gone into this at all. There all figurin how to go +on with it but none of em how to quit it. Dont say nothin till I +get it worked out. I guess you always knew youd here from me when I +got goin, eh Mable?</p> +<br> +<a name="064.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/064.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"A CROQUETTE IS A FRENCH SOCIETY WOMAN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I also resolved not to put off till tomorrow what I can do +today. (Old motto.) For instance if I can get out of a fatigue +today whats the use of waitin till tomorrow. The same with sleepin +and restin.</p> +<p>I cut out cigarets to. I was gettin to be a feend. Got so I had +to lite one whenever I got thinkin. I was usin up most a package a +day. Nervous an high strung. Thats me all over, Mable. I smoke +cigars an a pipe instead. A fello with an active mind has got to +have somethin. You remember what the fello what trained the high +school show said when he saw me act. Temperature. Thats me. Of +course its harder to borrow pipe tobacco and cigars but Im tryin to +show the fellos how bad cigarets is. Pretty soon Ill be all O.K. +again.</p> +<p>I got that watch your father sent me for a New Years present. +Tell him thanks very much an not to feel bad because he forgot to +send me a Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely. +He said it was a military watch an the latest thing out. I guess +they call it a military watch cause it works two hours and stops +four. Its the latest thing round here. If I answered call by that +watch Id be fallin in for retreat round taps. Its so slow it cant +stop quick.</p> +<p>I got the blacksmith over at headquarters company workin on it +now. Hes an awful good man. He was a plumber in civilian life. +Thats why they made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He +says hes goin to fix it sos Ill never be bothered with it +again.</p> +<p>I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a +Colonels wife. It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy +though. I says whose that funny lookin old bird sittin across the +room with a head like an egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a +French joke Mable.) She says "Thats my husband." As soon as Id +stopped laffin I started right in an told her the history of every +man in the company beginnin with the As. You know me when I get +started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed. When she +started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to show +her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no +effort.</p> +<p>I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I +heard her ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like +"Hed ought to be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all +over. It may mean promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have +me sent to Fort Silly to learn somethin. You cant tell.</p> +<br> +<a name="068.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/068.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE</b></p> +<br> +<p>I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont +show these letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I +suppose you are awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to +be lonesome what with drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as +things get shook down a bit I hope to get more time to miss you. +Hows your fathers liver?</p> +<blockquote>Au Riviere,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Ami:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of +fact its the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond +of.</p> +<p>Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways. +The Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I +knew more than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id +always tell him cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey +City an so I was sorry for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the +other day when I was on guard he says, "Corperal, whats the General +orders?" an I says, "Captin if you dont kno them now you never will +and I wouldnt be doin no service to my country if I told you." Cold +but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be.</p> +<p>The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry +for him. Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard +again. I go on guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the +guard because when the relief goes out I take all their blankets an +go right to sleep instead of standin outside an watchin them +freeze. Men hate to be watched while they are freezin.</p> +<br> +<a name="072.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/072.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"MEN HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FREEZIN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>But I happened to be outside for some reason, goin to dinner I +guess, an I saw the Colonel coming. I says "Turn out the guard." +(No one really turns em out, Mable. They come out themselves.) The +Colonel sees who it is an waves an says "Never mind the guard, +Corperal." So I thanks him an goes back to the company an goes to +bed.</p> +<p>As soon as the Captin sees that the Colonel is savin me up for +over there he gets sore. His plan has been to kill me before we +left here. He said he was goin to reduce me. Thats not the same way +your father reduces when he cuts out beer with his meals an sits in +a Turkish all day. I never said you will or you wont. Just waited +till he got outside an thumbed my nose at him. High spirited. Thats +me all over.</p> +<p>An English officer came over the other day an told us all about +the war. He didnt quite finish it cause he only had three quarters +of an hour. They was quite a few things I didnt kno even at that. +He said that the heavy artillery was commanded by the C.C.O.D.A. an +the light artillery by the C.O.A. An theres a special N.C.O. who +has nothin to do but look after the S.A.A. Just imagine, Mable. I +wish Id studied chemistree more when I was in school. It would make +things a lot easier for me now. Then he said that a man always got +into his O.O. to observe the action of the 75s. These English are +always great for dress an that formal stuff.</p> +<p>Im glad there tellin us this before we go over. It would have +been awful embarassing to have tried to observe the action of the +75s in my B.V.Ds. I asked him if they had any trouble with the +B.P.O.Es. When he left he said "Cheero." Without winkin a hair I +says "Beevo." Same old Bill, eh Mable?</p> +<p>They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to +school an learn all about liason. I said there wasnt much use in +there doin that cause I was pretty well up on that stuff. At home, +I says, I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen. Nobody knows +better than you, eh Mable? I guess thats a little over your head +though, Mable. I try to be as simple as I can. If Im not just tell +me.</p> +<p>Im ritin this letter with my shoes off. I hope youll excuse my +bein so informal but Im havin the old trouble with my feet. They +never been right since that winter I taught you to dance. I went to +the doctor with them an he said to keep offen them as much as I +could. So they put me to work scrubbin the mess shack on my hans +and nees. I bet if a fello had both legs shot off theyd prop you up +against the wall an put you peelin onions.</p> +<br> +<a name="076.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/076.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I HAD A REPUTASHUN FOR A DEVIL WITH THE WIMEN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I got to quit now. They got a thing called retreat they have +every night. I always like to be there just to show the Captin Im +behind him regardless.</p> +<p>Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform pointin to an American +flag. Its kind of simbolical the man said, if you know what that +is. I thought youd like to put it on the mantle in a conspikuous +place sos to have somethin to be proud of when your girl friend +comes in to talk. Id ask you for your pictur only I havnt got much +room for that kind of thing down here.</p> +<blockquote>yours exclusively<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Everyone round here is goin to school now so they can be +speshulists. Not the kind your mother goes to, Mable. A speshulist +only does one thing. I been doin everything round here ever since I +came. I was gettin sick of it. I went to the top sargent an says I +guessed Id be a speshulist to. He said all right hed make me a food +speshulist. Said Id have to go into it pretty deep. I been into it +up to my elbows in the kitchen ever since. Never trust sargents. +Least of all top sargents. If it keeps on like this there wont be +nobody to do the actual fightin but me, Mable. Its too much +responsibilety for one man. Suppose I was to get sick or +somethin.</p> +<p>An then a bunch of fellos went away to lern to be officers. That +kind of struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done +round here. I went to the Captin an told him I thought Id go to. He +said I could go to, and then he added somethin.</p> +<br> +<a name="080.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/080.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IT SEEMED TO DEPRES THEM AWFUL"</b></p> +<br> +<p>He said a company was built up somethin like a man. There was +the brain, which was the officers, an then some was the muscle an +some was the bone. He said I seemed to be pretty well fitted for my +part by nature so he wouldnt change me. Ive always been strong ever +since I was a kid, Mable.</p> +<p>Ive rote a pome. I sent it to the Divisun paper. They wouldnt +print it cause they said it was so real that it might depres the +men. I guess they was right cause I read it to the fellos in the +tent an it seemed to depres them awful. Im ritin it to you. Its +about the war. Youll probably notice that yourself if you read it +careful. Here it is.</p> +<blockquote>I<br> +<br> +Here the thunder of the guns<br> +Smashin down the German Huns<br> +An the sticky pools of gory blood<br> +Soakin up the oozie sod<br> +The rushin, roarin, shreekin boom<br> +Of bullets crashin thru the gloom<br> +<br> +<br> +II<br> +<br> +Listen to those grate bums bust<br> +On the quiverin Hunnish crust<br> +Listen to the shreekin, moanin<br> +Swearin, yellin, gruntin, groanin<br> +That comes to us across the trenches<br> +All mixed up with grusome stenches<br> +<br> +<br> +III<br> +<br> +Biff, an from there hellish lare<br> +The shreeks of Germans rent the air.<br> +Bloody lims lie on the ground.<br> +Bits of Huns go flyin round.<br> +Bang! And through the cannons roar<br> +Is plainly herd the splashin gore.<br> +<br> +<br> +IV<br> +<br> +But this cannot go on for long,<br> +Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong.<br> +An when we charge the German line<br> +We'll chuck the dam thing in the Rine.<br> +An blood an slauter, rape an gore<br> +In Bel Le France will rain no more.</blockquote> +<br> +<p>Aint that terrible, Mable? I read it to one fello an he said it +made him absolutely sick. He said he didn't see how I could rite it +without gettin sick myself. Just between me an you Mable I did come +pretty near being once or twice when I was ritin it.</p> +<br> +<a name="084.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/084.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES WINDIN UP YOUR +VICTROLA"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Most of all thats confidential but I dont care if you read it to +some of your friends just to give em a good idea of what war is. +Some of the things aint very nice of course. If your ritin big +stuff though you got to put in everything that comes into your +head, or else you lose the punch. I think the ends the best. A lot +of fellos has said that. We ought to have more of that. It gets the +slackers.</p> +<p>The Rine is a German river where they make wine near Berlin, +Mable.</p> +<p>You keep menshuning a fello named Broggins in your letters. Now +I aint got a spark of jelusy in my nature. Big. Thats me all over, +Mable. But I warn you frankly. If I ever catch one of those ailin +enemies windin up your victrola Ill kick him out of the house. +Thats only fair. It isn't that I care a snap. Theres plenty of +girls waitin for me. Its just the principul of the thing.</p> +<p>Dont think for a minit that I care. I just menshun it cause I +couldnt think of nothin else to say.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Pom de mon oie:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish. It means apple of my eye. +I never saw an apple in nobodys eye, Mable, but I guess thats some +French custom.</p> +<p>Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience +department in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about +the 15th of Feb. Dont say nothin to nobody about it. It might look +as if I was gettin mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on +the 5th tho. Then I wont have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your +glad. Its great to think of gettin into a place where you cant see +through the walls and there aint three inches of mud on the floor. +An think of not havin to tie the doors together when you come in or +crawl underneath em on your hans and nees and not havin to put +everything you own in the world under the bed. But I guess you dont +care as much about these things as I will.</p> +<p>This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the +fello that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in +civil life or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the +other night the silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been +seen since.</p> +<br> +<a name="088.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/088.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a +pair. Keep everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot +about as well as me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of +wood that he has to hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that +it jumps up and down like a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do +when they get awful hot. Were not bothered by that much though.</p> +<p>We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus +MacKenzie. Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have +lots of air or hed smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the +tent by his bed. No one likes fresh air in its place better than +me, Mable, but when its as fresh as this air is its place is +outside.</p> +<p>I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys +things in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I +get cramps. If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin +is as warm as a park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push +my feet down. That's awful.</p> +<p>One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of +the blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside +snorin. Can you beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter +home and has his pictur in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before +I could get my head back. Thats the kind of a fello he is.</p> +<p>Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first +is just for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I +dont take too many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up +just before assembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin +dressed. He dont fool nobody. The only thing he takes off at nite +is his hat. Some says that falls off when he gets into bed.</p> +<p>Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is +furlined. You can hear him smashin the ice in the pale with a hair +brush outside. Then you can tell hes washin by the noise he makes +like a busted steam pipe. Then he comes smashin into the tent +leavin the door open and wipes the ice off en his face with +somebody elses towel an says gosh thats great. I hate that kind of +a fello.</p> +<p>Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos +everything would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in +the dark next mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable.</p> +<br> +<a name="092.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/092.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS +STARVIN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all +right. Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and +couldnt. The first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I +thought I was starvin. I looked like one of them picturs of hungry +Indiens that the mishunaries show you just before they pass the +plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later and says why didnt somebody +tell him he was gettin so fat cause he couldnt go home on a furlo +like that. He didnt eat nothin for three meals and then he looked +at hisseif with the mirror turned the other way. Its like one of +those Coney Island places where a fello can go in and laff at +hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break.</p> +<p>I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I +dont sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont +say nothin about what I told you in the beginnin.</p> +<p>Until the 15th Feb. then.</p> +<blockquote>Yours faithfully,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order +out against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley +coat awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order +against em. Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for +less than he paid for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day +they issue an order that you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to +go home an put an order out against it. If theyd only come right +out an say Bill Smith were goin to get you. Sneaky. Thats what I +call it, Mable.</p> +<p>Ive half a mind to transfer back to the artillery. If I transfer +much more theyll be chargin me extra fare, eh Mable? Only for me an +the Captin not bein able to agree Id never have left. I understand +hes been awful sorry since. All you have to do in artillery is to +put a bullet in the gun. It does the rest. In the infantry you got +to go up and do all the dirty work yourself.</p> +<br> +<a name="096.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/096.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT."</b></p> +<br> +<p>Besides Im gettin leery of these infantry fellos. There always +talking about what were goin to do to the Germans, blowin em to +pieces and slicin em up an throwin em all around the lot. I got +thinkin what if the Germans was learnin there men to do the same +thing. They never seem to figger on these things.</p> +<p>An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of +fellos in a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some +ones goin to get hurt sure.</p> +<p>I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if +he ever gets takin like that again not to send such a large box +but-well you explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing +much better than I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a +vest as soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he +knows whats what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before +the war started send em to the soldiers. They wont know the +difference. Some wimen sent our regiment the Baptist Review for +three years back. That aint right, Mable. They give you candy that +comes by the bale. Then they come round an watch you eat it. I bet +if you walked into there place an watched them eat theyd raise an +awful holler. They make speeches to you that youd get your money +back without askin up north. They give you free movies thats so old +they look as if they was taken in the rain.</p> +<p>It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter +so much as long as theres lots of it.</p> +<p>Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a +china plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on +me. Im awful sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put +food in it it folds up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes +months to make a good mess kit eater.</p> +<p>We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter. +One of them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your +cup an half on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess +they are old Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate +splash an knocks it squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate +an knocks it the other way. When you get it all its runnin out of +one dish up your sleeve an out of the other back into the food +pans.</p> +<p>Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful +stupid. If theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim +on it. Then they pour the soup on your cover.</p> +<p>When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the +table. It isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as +it hits.</p> +<br> +<a name="100.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/100.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many +overcoats and things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some +fellos eats with there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though. +It makes things taste like eatin peaches with there skins on.</p> +<p>The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply +Sargent once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a +spoonful of loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and +leaves a couple of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on +the next fello. Never complain. Thats me all over.</p> +<p>Well Mable I got to shine my shoes now and go and eat offen +china plates with a nigger waiter. I dont eat with a nigger waiter, +Mable. Its awful hard to explain things to you sometimes. So now I +will close.</p> +<blockquote>Hoping you are the same<br> + <i>Bill</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I been thinkin of you a lot durin the last weak, Mable, havin +nothin else to do. I been in the hospital with the Bronxitis. I +guess I caught it from Joe Loomis. He comes from there. Id have +rote you in bed but I dropped my fountin pen on the floor an bent +it. Im all right now.</p> +<p>I got some news for you, Mable. The cook says we only drew ten +days supply of food last time. He says he guesses when we et that +up well go to France. Hes an awful smart fello the cook. Hes got a +bet on that if the allys dont buck up an win the Germans is comin +out ahead. Max Glucos, a fello in the tent, is refere. Were all +eatin as fast as we can. Perhaps we can eat it all in less than ten +days. So maybe well be gone, Mable, before I rite you from here +again.</p> +<p>Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the +war is goin to be over quick. He ought to know cause hes been over +there an seen the whole thing. He smokes cigarets something awful +an dont say much. Thats because the poor cus cant talk much +English. It must be awful not to talk English. Think of not bein +able to say nothin all your life without wavin your arms round an +then lookin it up in a dickshunary.</p> +<br> +<a name="104.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/104.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"HE SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I feel so sorry for these fellos that Im studiin French a lot +harder sos theyll have someone to talk to when we get over there. +Im readin a book now thats rote all in French. No English in it +anywhere, Mable. A fello told me that was the only way to talk it +good. I dont understand it very well so far. The only way I kno its +French is by the picturs. Some day Im goin to find out what the +name is. Then Im goin to get the English of it. Those are some +picturs. Aint I fierce, Mable? I guess thats why I get on with +wimen so well.</p> +<p>I gave up readin it out loud cause the fellos said it made em +think they was in Paris so much they got restles. I cant speak no +better yet. I guess that comes all at once at the end of the +book.</p> +<p>As soon as we got the hot shouers all fixed the pipes busted. So +the other day the Captin walked us all in town to take a bath. I +didnt need one much. I used my head more than most of em. Last fall +when it was warm I took as many as two a week an got away ahead of +the game. I went along though. More for the walk than anything.</p> +<p>I saw the Captin didnt make no move to take a bath hisself. I +thought he might be shy. He dont mix very well with the fellos. I +felt sorry for him. Everyone else was laffin an throwin things with +him standin off an noone throwin a thing at him. I went up an says +"Aint you goin to take a bath this winter to, Captin?" Just jolly, +Mable, that all. I says, "You dont want to mind the bunch. They +dont care a bit. There as dirty as you are anyway. Probably more." +An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen the Captin do a stroke +of work since we come here. Just stands round givin orders.</p> +<p>I says, "If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine. I was +just goin to have it washed anyway." He got awful red and +embarassed Mable. I thought he was goin to choke. Hes awful +queer.</p> +<p>Just like the other mornin he calls me over an says, "Smith, my +orderlies sick. You can shine my boots this mornin." He said it +like Id been beggin him to for a month. An then he says, "Smith you +can lite the fire in my stove." He had me thinkin he was doin me +favors. He said I might put some oil on his boots if I wished. I +says that would be a great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind +or the fellos would think he was playin favorites. I guess he didnt +here me Mable cause hed just gone out. I said it anyway. I didnt +care if he wasnt there. Spunky. Thats me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="108.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/108.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF HIS LAMP"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I couldnt find no oil for his boots anywhere, Mable, so I poured +some out of his lamp. An then I dont think that suited him. Queer +fello the Captin.</p> +<p>I keep herein more about this fello Broggins. I suppose he +belongs to the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the +evenin. An I suppose he has an American flag on his ritin paper. It +dont mean nothin in my life. I aint goin to put up no arguments or +get nasty like most fellos would. Dignity. Thats me all over, +Mable. Let me tell you though if I ever come home and find him +shinin his elbos on the top of your baby grand Ill kick him down +the front steps if I only have one leg to do it with.</p> +<p>Im ritin this in the Y.M.C.A. in the afternoon cause Im goin on +guard tonite. I dont see why they dont make it a permenant detail +and be done with it. Someone said the top sargents a man of one +idea. I guess Im the idea. I didnt go out to drill this afternoon. +I didnt say nothin to the Sargent though cause sargents have an +idea that if they dont get a lot of fellos to go out to drill with +them they dont look popular. I got to go new sos to get in my tent +before they come from drill.</p> +<blockquote>As ever<br> + on guard,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold I couldnt say +nothin for most a weak.</p> +<p>Well Mable, we et all the food like the cook said but we aint in +France yet. I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had. +Everyone is sore at him cause we didnt kick at none of his food for +more than a weak thinkin that when wed et it all wed go away. He +thinks its funny an says "Do youse guys think this war is a Cooks +tour?" I hate fellos what tries to get out of things by bein +smart.</p> +<p>Everythings covered with mud includin me. I seem to attract mud +like I was a maggot, Mable. Yesterday I spent all the afternoon +shinin up for guard sos to be the Colonels orderly. Then I step out +of the tent and flui. The Sargent says, "Smith dont you know enuff +not to go on guard lookin like that?"</p> +<p>I even got mud in my hair. Max Glucos says when he combs his its +like rakin out a garden. From what I seen of him though I dont see +how he found out.</p> +<br> +<a name="112.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/112.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="113.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/113.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE WATER COMES THROUGH ON ME"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Its pourin rain an awful cold. Its so cold that the tooth past +rolls right offen your brush in the morning. The Captin has a cold +in his nose. He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as +today. Taint nothin gainst him Mable but I hope he has a cold all +winter.</p> +<p>Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where the water comes +through on me. I put a slicker over me last nite. The water made +puddles in it. Then when I turned over they spilt out into my +shoes. This had me guessin Mable till finally I put Max Glucoses +shoes there instead of mine. Angus MacKenzie had so many holes over +his cot that it looked like one of those safety fire sprinklers. He +got up last nite and rigged his shelter half sos the water hit it +an run down onto the next cot. Hes a brite fello, Angus, even if he +is a forener.</p> +<p>The other day he had some medecine for a cold. It says on the +bottle that it was 17 per cent alcohol. He drank the whole thing +right down sos nobody couldnt get hold of it. It made him awful +sick but he says thats because he isnt used to it for such a long +time. Me an hims goin down next week to put in a stock of tonics. +Its awful hard to rite letters, Mable. Somebodys always fallin over +your feet or draggin something wet over the paper if youve got a +cot near the door like mine is. An when you get goin finally at +about the fourth try some sargent always comes in with a list and +makes you check up something.</p> +<p>Sometimes I go over to the Y.M.C.A., Mable. But as soon as you +get ritin a bald headed fello jumps up an says "Now fellos well all +sing." All the fellos whats ritin looks up an says "Aw one thing +and another." I dont know who the bald headed fello is. They got +one in every Y.M.C.A. They all look about alike. I guess there a +regular issue. Theys always a bunch of fellos what dont seem to kno +why they came. They all start singin. Then I cant rite no more or +do nothin. So I come home an go to bed. Independent. Thats me all +over, Mable.</p> +<p>Most of the taxis is swalowed up in the mud. Theys only two or +three runnin now. Only the big strong fellos can get to town. The +cook says its the old theory of the arrival of the fittest. But I +guess you dont know nothin about cience, Mable. When I go to town I +wrap my blouze in a newspaper. If they know your goin they give you +a list of things to get that looks like a Chinese Message to +Congress. By the time you go to come home you got so many bundles +you look like one of those fellos in the Funny Papers. Everyone +stands in the square lookin like a hat rack waitin for the three +taxis to come along. When they see one they rush it like they do in +the movies when the milunares cars runs over the poor fellos kid. +If goin over the top is any worse than gettin under the top of one +of them things with fifty bundles an as many fellos then Sherman +didnt know many swear words, eh Mable? But thats history. I guess +you wouldnt understand.</p> +<p>An then when you get home without a bath or a hair cut or the +movies or nothin, an you forgot to get that shavin soap for +yourself an spent all your money they say "Thanks Bill. Put it over +there. Can you change a ten dollar bill?" There ought to be a law +against makin money in such big numbers.</p> +<p>Im glad you taken up singin lessons again. You ought to take a +lot of em. I got a favor to ask. I dont do that offen. Proud. Thats +me all over. But if that fello Broggins keeps buttin round sing for +him Mable. It aint askin much with me down here defendin you. +Although I dont see why I had to come down here to do it.</p> +<blockquote>Yours internally,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>This is the last time I will ever take my pen in hand for you. +All is over among us.</p> +<p>I felt it comin for some time Mable. Today among some letters +that I got from girls was one from a girl what knos you well. She +told me all about this fello Broggins. She says you take him around +with you everywhere. Thats the kind of a fello I thought he was, +Mable, but Im surprized at you. She says your awful fond of him hes +so cute. I aint cute an aint never pretended to be. A mans man. +Thats me all over, Mable. She says she went up to your house the +other night an he was sittin in your lap stickin his tongue out at +my pictur on the mantlepiece. After that, Mable, theres nothin to +say. So I repeat, its all over among us.</p> +<p>Im returnin today by parcels post the red sweter an the gloves +that has no fingers an the sox that you wear over your head an your +pictur. Most of the stuff aint been used much. The pictur has some +mud on it cause I had to keep it in the bottom of my barrak bag an +my shoes came next. The sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe +Glucos an you wouldnt want em now.</p> +<br> +<a name="118.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/118.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PEN IN HAND FOR YOU"</b></p> +<br> +<p>The stuff that you sent me to eat I havnt kept. I guess you +wouldnt want that anyway Mable. The stuff that your mother sent me +Im going to keep. She wasnt my girl an she didnt have to send all +that stuff if she didnt want to.</p> +<p>As for all the things I have give you, Mable, keep em. I dont +want em no more. I aint even goin to menshun all the money Ive +spent on you for movies an sodas an the Lord knows what not. I aint +the kind of a fello to throw that up to a fello or even menshun it +in no ways. I kept track of it though in a little book. It comes to +$28.27 and some odd sense.</p> +<p>An I aint agoin to hold it up against you that I been savin in +the bank for most two years sos to have a little somethin towards +that house with the green blinds. An that I got somethin like +$87.22 in the bank if you can believe what that eagle beak in the +cage rites in your book. All wasted you might say, when you think +of the fun I might have had with it in the last two years. Those +things we'll just forget. You seem to have already.</p> +<p>An that seasons pass I got for you for the Happyhour sos you +could keep in touch with things while I was away. Keep that and +take Broggins. Otherwise I got a hunch you aint goin to the movies +as much as you used to.</p> +<p>I guess this will hit your father an mother pretty hard. They +got nobody to blame but yourself. On the other hand its goin to +please some girls that I know. So its a poor wind that dont blow +nobody round as the poets say. I guess you wont here much about the +poets any more, Mable. About all youll here is Broggins. I hate a +man what talks about himself.</p> +<p>I suppose he has joined the Home defence. Are you goin to have a +military weddin, Mable?</p> +<p>Im kind of sorry for your father. If you have his liver on your +hands dont blame me. You know the doctor said any kind of a shock +would set him off a mile.</p> +<p>An now, Mable, Im closin for the last time. It wont be no use +runin to the door when you here the postman no more cause he wont +have nothin but the gas bill. From now on the only way youll here +from me is in the papers perhaps when we get over there.</p> +<p>Now Im going to ask you a favor, Mable, for old times sake. Take +the pictur I had taken pointin to the American flag an burn it up. +You cant have that to show your friends no more an I aint goin to +have no flat foot makin faces at it. I may be selfish, Mable, but a +girl cant make a cake an eat it too as the old sayin is.</p> +<br> +<a name="122.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/122.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IT WONT BE NO USE RUNIN TO THE DOOR"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Give my best to your father an mother. Tell em I simpathize with +them in there loss. Its no use ritin any more cause Im firm as the +rock of Gibber Alter. Concrete. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<blockquote>as ever<br> + yours no longer<br> + Bill</blockquote> +<br> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/125.png" width="45%" alt=""></p> +<br> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13993 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/13993-h/images/003.png b/13993-h/images/003.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a23c65 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-h/images/003.png diff --git a/13993-h/images/004.png b/13993-h/images/004.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..bd50092 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-h/images/004.png diff --git a/13993-h/images/012.png b/13993-h/images/012.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bb2c95 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-h/images/012.png diff --git a/13993-h/images/013.png b/13993-h/images/013.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c160313 --- /dev/null +++ b/13993-h/images/013.png diff --git a/13993-h/images/016.png b/13993-h/images/016.png Binary files 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Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a9e1da --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13993 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13993) diff --git a/old/13993-h.zip b/old/13993-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f1959bb --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13993-h.zip diff --git a/old/13993-h/13993-h.htm b/old/13993-h/13993-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fb347bb --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13993-h/13993-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2049 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta name="generator" content= +"HTML Tidy for Windows (vers 1st February 2004), see www.w3.org"> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content= +"text/html; charset=us-ascii"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Dere Mable, by Edward +Streeter.</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { margin-top: .75em; + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + blockquote {text-align: justify; + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%;} + IMG { + BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; + BORDER-TOP: 0px; + BORDER-LEFT: 0px; + BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px } + .ctr { TEXT-ALIGN: center } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + // --> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Dere Mable, by Edward Streeter + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Dere Mable + Love Letters Of A Rookie + +Author: Edward Streeter + +Release Date: November 9, 2004 [EBook #13993] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DERE MABLE *** + + + + +Produced by Rick Niles, Charlie Kirschner and the PG Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + + +</pre> + +<a name="cover.jpg"></a> +<p class="ctr"><a href="images/cover.jpg"><img src= +"images/cover.jpg" width="50%" alt=""></a></p> +<a name="003.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><a href="images/003.png"><img src="images/003.png" +width="40%" alt=""></a><br> +<b>MABLE</b></p> +<br> +<h1><i>Dere Mable</i>--</h1> +<h3>LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE</h3> +<h5>BY</h5> +<h3>EDWARD STREETER</h3> +<h6>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h6> +<h5>WITH 35 ILLUSTRATIONS IN BLACK-AND-WHITE BY</h5> +<h3>G. WILLIAM BRECK</h3> +<h4>("<i>Bill Breck</i>")</h4> +<h5>27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION</h5> +<br> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/004.png" width="10%" alt=""></p> +<br> +<h5>1918</h5> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>DEDICATION</h2> +<br> +<blockquote>To a million Private Bills who have suddenly learnt to +call a coat a blouse. Taking things as they find them. Vaguely +understanding. Caring less. Grumbling by custom. Cheerful by +nature. Ever anxious to be where they are not. Ever anxious to be +somewhere else when they get there. Without thought of sacrifice. +Who have left the flag-waving to those at home. Who serve as a +matter of course.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> +<center> +<table summary=""> +<tr> +<td><a href="#003.png">Mable</a></td> +<td align="right"><i>Frontispiece</i></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#012.png">The only place there flat is on the +map</a>"</td> +<td align="right">2</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#013.png">You can read em to your +granchildren</a>"</td> +<td align="right">3</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#016.png">You walk a post but there aint no +post</a>"</td> +<td align="right">4</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#020.png">I just found it in my bakin can</a>"</td> +<td align="right">6</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#024.png">I dont like any sargeant</a>"</td> +<td align="right">8</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#025.png">I dont care much for horses, they feels the +same way about me</a>"</td> +<td align="right">9</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#028.png">Max Glucos what lives on the next +cot</a>"</td> +<td align="right">10</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#029.png">Smith are you laffin at me?</a>"</td> +<td align="right">11</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#034.png">One day its our teeth</a>"</td> +<td align="right">14</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#038.png">Remember me to your mother</a>"</td> +<td align="right">16</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#042.png">Not the kind your father has</a>"</td> +<td align="right">18</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#043.png">I wear them every night over my +uniform</a>"</td> +<td align="right">19</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#046.png">I been made an officer</a>"</td> +<td align="right">20</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#047.png">Somebodied set a trunk on the +turky</a>"</td> +<td align="right">21</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#050.png">Built like the leg of a sailurs +trowsers</a>"</td> +<td align="right">22</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#054.png">You paint a horse black and white +stripes</a>"</td> +<td align="right">24</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#058.png">I spent mine doin Kitchen police</a>"</td> +<td align="right">26</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#059.png">I wish that hired girl could come +down</a>"</td> +<td align="right">27</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#064.png">A croquette is a French society +woman</a>"</td> +<td align="right">30</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#068.png">I sat next to a Colonels wife</a>"</td> +<td align="right">32</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#072.png">Men hate to be watched while they are +freezin</a>quot;</td> +<td align="right">34</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#076.png">I had a reputashun for a devil with the +wimen</a>"</td> +<td align="right">36</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#080.png">It seemed to depres them awful</a>"</td> +<td align="right">38</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#084.png">If I catch one of those ailin enemies +windin up your victrola</a>"</td> +<td align="right">40</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#088.png">Stuck my head out of the blankets</a>"</td> +<td align="right">42</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#092.png">When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I +was starvin</a>"</td> +<td align="right">44</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#096.png">They come round an watch you eat +it</a>"</td> +<td align="right">46</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#100.png">Army food always runs</a>"</td> +<td align="right">48</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#104.png">He smokes cigarets something +awful</a>"</td> +<td align="right">50</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#108.png">I poured some oil out of his lamp</a>"</td> +<td align="right">52</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#112.png">I even got mud in my hair</a>"</td> +<td align="right">54</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#113.png">The water comes through on me</a>"</td> +<td align="right">55</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#118.png">The last time I will take my pen in hand +for you</a>"</td> +<td align="right">58</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td>"<a href="#122.png">It wont be no use runin to the +door</a>"</td> +<td align="right">60</td> +</tr> +</table> +</center> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2>Dere Mable</h2> +<h3>Love Letters of a Rookie</h3> +<p><i>Dere Mable:</i></p> +<br> +<p>I guess you thought I was dead. Youll never know how near you +was to right. We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit +to rite. I guess they choose these camps by mail order. The only +place there flat is on the map. Where our tents is would make a +good place for a Rocky Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck. The +first day the Captin came out an says "Pitch your tents here." Then +he went to look for someone quick before anyone could ask him how. +I wish I was a Captin. I guess he thought we was Alpine Chasers. +Eh, Mable? But you probably dont know what those are.</p> +<p>Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the +Panamah Canal it would have been workin long before it was. Of +course there was a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like +all they did was to stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em +out.</p> +<p>The Captin appresheates me though. The other day he watched me +work awhile and then he says "Smith." He calls me Smith now. We got +very friendly since I been nice to him. I noticed none of the other +fellos had much to say to him. I felt kind of sorry for him. Hes a +human bein even if he is a Captin, Mable. So every time I saw him I +used to stop him and talk to him. Democratic. Thats me all over, +Mable. "Smith" he says "If they was all like you round here war +would be hell, no joke." By which he meant that we would make it +hot for the Boshes.</p> +<p>I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable. What with missin me +and your fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been +awful lonesome for you. It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot +of fellos hangin round all the time. Not that you couldnt have em, +Mable, but you dont an theres no use makin no bones about it. If it +hadnt been for me I guess things would have been pretty stupid +though I dont begrudge you a cent. You know how I am with my money. +I guess you ought to anyway. Eh, Mable? Never talk of money matters +in connexun with a woman. Thats me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="012.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/012.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT IS ON THE MAP"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<a name="013.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/013.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU CAN READ EM TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Now I got started an found a fountin pen an the Y.M.C.A. givin +away paper like it does Im goin to rite you regular. They say there +goin to charge three sents for a letter pretty soon. That aint goin +to stop me though, Mable. There aint no power in heavin or earth, +as the poets say, as can come between you and me, Mable. You mite +send a few three sent stamps when you rite. That is if your fathers +able to work yet. And willin, I should add.</p> +<p>Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what +you get from me as a record of the war. Some day you can read em to +your granchildren an say "Your Granfather Bill did all these +things." Aint I the worst, Mable? Serious though I havnt found +noone so far what has thought of doin this except the newspapers. I +guess Ill get a lot of inside stuff that theyll never see. So this +may be the only one of its kind. But it doesnt matter to me what +you do with them, Mable.</p> +<p>Later Ill tell you all about everything but I guess you wont +understand much cause its tecknickle. Lots of the fellos are gettin +nitted things and candy and stuff right along. Dont pay no +attenshun to that, though, or take it for a hint cause it aint. I +just say it as a matter of rekord. Independent if nothin. Thats me +all over.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till the war ends<br> + <i>Bill</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Having nothin better to do I take up my pen to rite.</p> +<p>We have been here now three weeks. As far as I am concerned I am +all ready to go. I told the Captin that I was ready any time. He +said yes, but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they +was all goin together. I says was I to go out to drill with the +rest. He said yes more for the example than anything else. Its kind +of maddening to be hangin round here when I might be over there +helpin the Sammies put a stop to this thing.</p> +<br> +<a name="016.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/016.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST"</b></p> +<br> +<p>In the mean time I been doin guard duty. Seems like I been doin +it every night but I know what there up against and I dont say +nothin. Guard duty is something like extemperaneus speakin. You got +to know everything your goin to say before you start. Its very +tecknickle. For instance you walk a post but there aint no post. An +you mount guard but you dont really mount nothin. An you turn out +the guard but you dont really turn em out. They come out them +selves. Just the other night I was walkin along thinkin of you +Mable an my feet which was hurtin. It made me awful lonesome. An +officer come up and he says why dont you draw your pistol when you +here someone comin. An I says I dont wait till the sheep is stole I +drew it this afternoon from the Supply sargent. An I showed it to +him tucked inside my shirt where noone could get it away from me +without some tussel, you bet, Mable. But it seems that you got to +keep on drawin it all the time. Then later I here footsteps. I was +expectin the relief so I was right on the job. An a man come up and +I poked my pistol right in his face an says Halt. Who goes there? +And he says Officer of the day. An bein disappointed as who wouldnt +be I says Oh hell. I thought it was the relief. An he objected to +that. The relief, Mable--but whats the use you wouldnt understand +it.</p> +<p>Theres some mistake up north Mable about the way were built, +Mable. Its kind of depresin to think that you could forget about us +so quick. Everyones gettin sweters without sleeves and gloves +without fingers. We still got everything we started with Mable. Why +not sox without feet and pants without legs. If your makin these +things for after the war I think your anticipatin a little. Besides +its depresin for the fellos to be reminded all the time. Its like +givin a fello a life membership to the Old Soldiers home to cheer +him up when he sails. I was sayin the other day that if the fellos +at Washington ever get onto this theyll be issuin soleles shoes and +shirtles sleves.</p> +<p>Its gettin awful cold. No wonder this is a healthy place. All +the germs is froze. I guess there idea of the hardenin proces is to +freeze a fello stiff. The Captin said the other day we was gettin +in tents of trainin. Thats all right but Id kind of like to see +those steam heated barraks. Youve red about those fellos that go +swimmin in the ice in winter. I guess thed like our shouer baths. +They say Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Mable. I say its next to +impossible.</p> +<p>I started this letter almost a weak ago. I just found it in my +bakin can. They call it a bakin can but its too small to bake +nothin. I keep my soap in it. I got some news for you. The regiment +is to be dismantled. The Captin called me over this mornin and +asked me where Id like to be transferred. I said home if it was the +same to him. So there goin to send me to the artillery. This is a +very dangerous and useful limb of the servus, Mable. I dont kno my +address. Just write me care of the General.</p> +<p>I got the red muffler that your mother sent me. Give her my love +just the same</p> +<blockquote>yours relentlessly,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<a name="020.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/020.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I JUST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable</i>:</h2> +<br> +<p>I havnt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately. When +they broke up our regiment and sent me over to the artillery I +thought I was goin to quit usin my feet. That was just another +roomor.</p> +<p>Thanks for the box of stuff you sent me. I guess the brakeman +must have used it for a chair all the way. It was pretty well baled +but that dont matter. And thanks for the fudge too. That was fudge +wasnt it, Mable? And the sox. They dont fit but I can use them for +somethin. A good soldier never throws nothin away. An thank your +mother for the half pair of gloves she sent me. I put them away. +Maybe sometime shell get a chance to nit the other half. Or if I +ever get all my fingers shot off theyll come in very handy.</p> +<p>The artillerys a little different from the infantry. They make +us work harder. At least theres more work on the skedule. I know +now what they mean when they say that the "artillerys active on the +western front."</p> +<p>They got a drill over here called the standin gun drill. The +names misleadin. I guess it was invented by a troop of Jap +akrobats. They make you get up and sit on the gun. Before you can +get settled comfortable they make you get down again. It looks like +they didnt know just what they did want you to do.</p> +<p>I dont like the Sargent. I dont like any sargent but this one +particular. The first day out be kept sayin "Prepare to mount" and +then "Mount." Finally I went up to him and told him that as far as +I was concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared +to do what I was told even though it was the middle of the night. +He said, Fine, then I was probably prepared to scrub pans all day +Sunday.</p> +<p>I dont care much for horses. I think they feels the same way +about me. Most of them are so big that the only thing there good +for is the view of the camp you get when you climb up. They are +what they call hors de combat in French. My horse died the other +day. I guess it wasnt much effort for him. If it had been he +wouldnt have done it.</p> +<p>They got a book they call Drill Regulations Field and Light. +Thats about as censible as it is all the way through. For instance +they say that when the command for action is given one man jumps +for the wheel and another springs for the trail an another leaps +for the muzzle. I guess the fellow that rote the regulations +thought we was a bunch of grass hoppers.</p> +<br> +<a name="024.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/024.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="025.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/025.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I DONT CARE MUCH FOR HORSES, THEY FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT +ME"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch of other girls. Thanks +again for the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good +but that dont matter.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Todays Thanksgivin. Im thankful things aint no worse though Max +Glucos what lives on the next cot says they couldnt be. Cheery an +bright to the last. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Every man gets ateen ounces of Turky on Thanksgivin. All to +himself, Mable. The sargent says the commitee on Hays and Beans at +Washington decides that. Mines inside. Im most to full for +expreshun as the poets say. We had a great dinner. Soup an turky, +dressin, crambury sause an pie an smashed potatoes. All in one +plate. I wish you could have heard how the fellos enjoyed it Mable. +I know now why they call the turkys gobblers.</p> +<p>Thanksgivin is a holiday. All a fello has to do on a holiday in +the artillery is to feed the horses an give em a drink an smooth em +out an take em for a walk an then feed em an smooth em out an feed +em an give em a drink. It makes a fello feel like givin back a +dollar out of his pay at the end of the month.</p> +<br> +<a name="028.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/028.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"MAX GLUCOS WHAT LIVES ON THE NEXT COT"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="029.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/029.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME?"</b></p> +<br> +<p>The horses has the softest of anyone, Mable. They dont even have +to get up for breakfast in the morning. We bring it to em in a +little bag filled with cereul. You tie this on there face. I guess +they aint never been fed before the war broke out. When they see +you comin they start jumpin round like starvin sailurs. I dont +guess they like cereul. I wouldnt ether three times a day. I +thought theyd give em somethin different Thanksgivin but not a +chance. There always hopin it ull be somethin else I guess. When +they see the same old thing they get sore and try to step on your +feet.</p> +<p>The sargents stand way behind an say "Go on in. They wont hurt +you." An then when they land on your corn they say "Thats to bad. +You didnt do it right." I dont like sargents any better than +horses.</p> +<p>An I dont kno as Im going to like the Captin much better ether. +The other day I got laffin while I was standin in line. Just laffin +to myself. Not disturbin nobody. The Captin turns round an says +"Smith are you laffin at me?" I says no sir an he says "Well what +else was there to laff at?" Thats the kind of a fello he is. I +didn't sass him back or nothin, Mable. Just looked at him an made +him feel cheap. I saw him again in the afternoon. Course I didnt +salute. He says "What do you mean by not salutin?" I told him I +thought he was mad. Im glad Im not his wife, Mable. You never know +how to take a fello like that.</p> +<p>If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given him two weaks +notise on the spot. Duty before pleasure though. Thats me all +over.</p> +<p>We took the guns out to drill the other day. The Captin was +talkin about indirect firin. Thats the way he is. Nothin straight +forward about him. I asked the sargent about it. He said indirect +firin was where you shot at one thing an aimed at another. I hate +to butt in Mable but it didnt seem right. I says I seen the Indien +girl in the circus shoot the spots out of a card over her shoulder +but wouldnt it be more censible to cut out the trick stuff till we +was more used to the thing. You cant argue with sargents, +though.</p> +<p>Day after tomorrows inspecshun. They do it every Saturday. Thats +another thing Im thankful for. Theres only one Saturday a weak. We +pull everything out an pile it on our cots. Then the Captin an the +Sargent comes in. Every time its the same. He says "Thats very +dirty Smith wheres your other shirt." An I say "I aint got none, +sir." An he says "Sargent make a note of that." An then the Sargent +rites somethin in a little book. Next time just the same. The +Captin says wheres my shirt an the sargent makes a note. I guess +theres somethin in the drill regulations what makes him say that +cause I aint got no other shirt yet.</p> +<p>Well Mable Im gettin hungry again now. Guess Ill have to stop an +buy a couple of pies. We dont get nothin to eat for an hour +yet.</p> +<blockquote>yours till the ice cracks in the pale,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<p>P.S. I had to borrow a stamp for this letter. I went down town +yesterday an spent my last sent on a money belt. Its a good one +though.</p> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Rainin today. No drill so Im going to rite you. If I dont get no +exercise I go all to pieces. Im back from the artillery into the +infantry. Captin an I had different ideas about runnin things. One +of us had to leave. Hed been there longest. I left. Hot headed. +Thats me all over.</p> +<p>Were doin baynut drill now. I cant say nothin about it. Its not +for wimens ears. We have one place where we hit the Hun in the nose +an rip all the decorashuns offen his uniform all in one stroke. +Then theres another where you give him a shave an a round hair cut +an end by knocking his hat over his eyes. Then the wiperzup come +over with a lot of bums an do the dirty work. I an the rest of the +fellos go ahead an take another trench. I havnt been able to find +out yet where we take it.</p> +<p>Its all worked out cientifick. The fello who doped it out had +some bean. The principul of the thing is to get the other fello an +not let him get you. If the allys bad doped out some skeme like +this the war would have been over now. There wouldnt have been no +Huns left. It takes us Uncle Sammies. Eh Mable?</p> +<br> +<a name="034.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/034.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"ONE DAY IT'S OUR TEETH"</b></p> +<br> +<p>There gettin up a thrift campain now Mable. First they sell us +enough Liberty Bonds to buy a brand new army an let us go home. +Then they cram a lot of insurence at you what wont never do you no +good after your killed. Then I guess they found that someone still +had a couple of dollars left so they made us send that back home. +Now there gettin up a thrift campain Mable. They dont want us to +spend our money foolish sos we can buy the Singer Buildin or a Ford +or somethin like that when the war is over.</p> +<p>Some one say that we was the highest payed army in the world. +Besides all this money we get our bed and board. I guess they dont +know that in the army bed and board mean the same thing. Eh, Mable? +Still the same old Bill.</p> +<p>There always inspectin us. I feel like a piece of prize beef. +They never inspect a man all the way through. I guess the +inspecters get payed by the day durin the duration of the +inspecshun. One day its our teeth an another our heart an another +our lungs. The other day we was all lined up in the company street +and the Sargent says "Inspecshun arms." I lays down my gun an rolls +up my sleves. Just to show you how tecknickle the army is he didnt +want to see my arms at all but my gun. Hows a fello goin to tell, +Mable?</p> +<p>I went up for thirds at breakfast the other morning as usual an +the cook said "You seem to like coffee." Right away without stoppin +to think or nothin I says back "Yes thats the reason Im willin to +drink so much hot water to get some." Eh, Mable?</p> +<p>Went to a dance the other night and met some swell girls. I made +em all laff. I says I guess I got the instinks of a soldier all +right. The minit I smell powder Im right on my tows.</p> +<p>I havent been very well lately. I guess Ill cut out eatin at +meals. It spoils my appitite for the rest of the day. I kno youll +be glad to kno my feet aint hurtin so much. Remember me to the +hired girl and your mother.</p> +<blockquote>Yours through the winter,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<a name="038.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/038.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"REMEMBER ME TO YOUR MOTHER"</b></p> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Chair Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats French. I didnt expect you to kno what it meant though. +The Y.M.C.A. are learnin me French now. I only had three lessons so +far but I can talk it pretty good. You know how quick I am at +pickin up any kind of trick stuff like that. The only difference +between French and English is that there pretty near alike but the +French dont pronounce there words right.</p> +<p>When I use French words Ill underline them. Thatll give you some +idea of the languige.</p> +<p>When we get voila as the French say for over there itll come +handy to be able to sit down and have a dosy dos with them poilus. +(That means chew the rag in English.) A poilus Mable is a French +peasant girl an they say that they are very belle. (Now don't +mispronounce things an get sore till you know. You pronounce that +like the bell in push button. It means good lookers.) There crazy +about us fellos. They call us Sammies. They named one of there +rivers for us. You have heard of the battle of the Samme. But I +dont suppose you have.</p> +<p>They have been learnin us a lot about gas at attacks lately. +These are not the kind your father has. These are more like the +open places in the street on 6th avenoo. Only in the army when +anything like this happens they give you a gas mask. A gas mask is +like a cracked ice bag with windos in it. An in the front they got +a cigaret holder. I always heard how the French was cigaret feends. +I guess it got so bad they put in the holders sos they could smoke +during a gas attack.</p> +<p>Im goin to put on my mask an have my pictur took en cabinet. +Thats nothin to do with furniture, Mable. Its the French for what +its goin to look like when its done.</p> +<p>The gas fello said the other day that gas was perfectly safe +cause you could always tell when it was comin. You could hear it +escape or see it or smell it. The only trouble was, he said, that +when the gas started the machine guns made so much noise you +couldnt hear it an it always came at night sos you couldnt see it +and when you smelled it it was most to late to bother anyhow. I +been thinkin that over. Seems to me theres a joker in the contract +somewhere. Ask your father to read it over an see if it sound droit +(thats French for right) to him. Better still. Ask Higgins the +grocer to give it the once over. Hes got a grand tete as the French +say when they mean brains.</p> +<br> +<a name="042.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/042.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"NOT THE KIND YOUR FATHER HAS"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="043.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/043.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Its getting frappayer and frappayer down here (meaning colder +and colder). It got so cold that I put on those sox that you nitted +me. I guess I wont any more though. I guess my feet are going to +look like corderoy the rest of my life. Youll understand no hard +feelin I know. You know how delicate my feet is an how I cant +afford to prennez a hazard with them.</p> +<p>Thank your mother for the flannel pajammas. I wear them every +night over my uniform. I got to quit now an read some pictur post +cards that some girls sent me.</p> +<blockquote>Good night<br> +(or as the French say Robe de Nuit).</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I havnt rote for some time because I been made an officer.--a +corperal. I admit I deserved it. I didnt apply for it or nothin +though. They just come and told me.</p> +<p>Bein corperal means I dont have nothin more to do with details. +An at the same time I got more details than ever. Thats a sort of a +joke that us military men understand. You couldnt get it probably +Mable. Its tecknickle.</p> +<p>Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple of other officers borrowed +a couple of mules from the stable Sargent an went for a ride. We +saw a cabin that they said was a moonshiners hut but it was broad +daylight so you couldnt tell of course.</p> +<p>Its still cold. I wish thed hurry up and issue those gas masks. +Theyd come in handy these cold nights. The sargent told me that I +was goin to do interior guard tonight. I guess Im lucky to get +indoor work this wether.</p> +<br> +<a name="046.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/046.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I BEEN MADE AN OFFICER"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="047.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/047.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"SOMEBODIED SET A TRUNK ON THE TURKY"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You never saw such a place for roomors. These are army roomors. +They havnt got nothin to do with the kind your mother used to take +in. We here that were going next week an that were not goin at all +but were goin to be used to guard the Chicago stock yards. Then we +here that all the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the +dismounted men are goin to be mounted. An that the rest of us are +goin to be made cooks. An we here that all non coms are goin to be +abolished. Its awful hard to tell what is goin on.</p> +<p>I got your Thanksgivin box two days ago. It was only ten days +late. I guess the post office must have made some mistake. Things +is usually later than that. It was in good shape except that the +insides had been squoze out of the mince pie and somebodied set a +trunk on the turky. Of course I divided it up with my squad. Big +hearted. Thats me all over. Im awful popular with my men. They +offen say they wish Id be made a Major or somethin. My men ate up +all the stuff. All I saved for my self was the white meat an half a +mince pie. It certainly tastes good in the field. Of course we aint +in nobodies field. Thats a military expreshun. I cant explain +it.</p> +<p>I got to quit now an post a guard. At the same time Ill post +this letter to you. Thats a joke Mable. Im sorry this letter cant +be longer but as a man rises in the army he gets less an less time +to hisself. Olive oil.</p> +<blockquote>Yours faithlessly,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Cherry Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats the way the French begin there love letters. Its perfectly +proper. I would have rote you sooner but me an my fountin pens been +froze for a week. Washington will never know how lucky he was that +he got assigned to valley Forge instead of here. It got us out of +drill for a couple of days. Thats somethin. I guess Id rather +freeze than drill. Its awful when they make you do both though.</p> +<p>Two of my men has gone home on furlos. Me bein corperal I took +all there blankets. The men didnt like it but I got a squad of men +to look out for an my first duty is to keep fit. Duty first. Thats +me all over. I got so many blankets now that I got to put a book +mark in the place I get in at night or Id never find it again.</p> +<p>We spent most of our time tryin to find somethin to burn up in +the Sibly stoves. A sibly stove, Mable, is a piece of stove pipe +built like the leg of a sailurs trowsers. Old man Sibly must have +had a fine mind to think it out all by hisself. They say he got a +patent on it. I guess that must have been a slack winter in +Washington. The government gives us our wood but I guess that the +man who decided how much it was goin to give us had an office in +the Sandwitch Islands. I says the other day that if theyd dip our +allowance in fusfrus wed at least have matches, eh Mable? Im the +same old Bill, Mable. Crackin jokes an keepin everybody laffin when +things is blackest.</p> +<br> +<a name="050.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/050.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"BUILT LIKE THE LEG OF A SAILURS TROWSERS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I was scoutin round for wood today an burned up those military +hair brushes your mother gave me when we came away. I told her +theyd come in mighty handy some day.</p> +<p>They say a fello tried to take a shouer the other day. Before he +could get out it froze round him. Like that fello in the bible who +turned into a pillo of salt. They had to break the whole thing +offen the pipe with him inside it an stand it in front of the +stove. When it melted he finished his shouer an said he felt fine. +Thats how hard were gettin, Mable.</p> +<p>I bought a book on Minor Tackticks the other day. Thats not +about underaged tacks that live on ticks as you might suppose, +Mable. Its the cience of movin bodies of men from one place to +another. I thought it might tell of some way of gettin the squad +out of bed in the morning but it doesnt. All the important stuff +like that is camooflaged sos the Germans wont get onto it.</p> +<p>Camooflage is not a new kind of cheese Mable. Its a military +term. Camooflage is French for cauliflower which is a disguised +cabbage. It is the same thing as puttin powder on your face instead +of washin it. You deceive Germans with it. For instance you paint a +horse black and white stripes an a German comes along. He thinks +its a picket fence an goes right by. Or you paint yourself like a +tree an the Germans come an drink beer round you an tell military +sekruts.</p> +<p>Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable. I guess it +wont be a very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh? Cheer up cause Im +goin to think of you whenever I get time all day long. Im pretty +busy nowdays. I got to watch the men work. It keeps a fello on the +jump all the time. I like it though, Mable. Thats me all over. Isnt +it?</p> +<p>Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable. I bought somethin for +you but Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize. All that I +can say is that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more +than I could afford. An its worth a lot more. But you know how I am +with money. A spend drift. So dont send me anything please although +I need an electric flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them +sox that you wear on your head. Ill spend my last sent on anyone I +like but I dont want to be under no obligations. Independent. Thats +me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="054.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/054.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You might read this part to your mother. I dont want nothin from +her ether.</p> +<p>Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to +study.</p> +<blockquote>yours till the south is warm,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<p>Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77).</p> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Joli Dame:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable. Tinkers Dam is +tecknickle an aint even French. I wish you knew more about these +forin languiges. I always herd a fello could express himself better +in French than anything else. Thats because nobody can understand +him an he can say anything he wants.</p> +<p>The Christmas holidays is over. I spent mine doin Kitchen +police. The only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was +potatoes an the only thing what rung out was dish cloths. But I +guess you aint familiar enough with the poets to get that, Mable. +It shows that I can be funny an bright though even under adversary +conditions. Kitchen police dont explain what I do very well. I dont +walk a beet or carry a club or arrest nobody or nothin. I +just--well I wish that hired girl of yours could come down an do +Kitchen police for a couple of days. She wouldnt be quitten as +regular as she does.</p> +<br> +<a name="058.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/058.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="059.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/059.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven +instead of hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello what +blows the horn an he blew it at hap past six anyway. Imagine if +anybody home had told me I could sleep till a quarter of seven +Christmas morning. I guess you know what Id a told him, eh, +Mable?</p> +<p>Theres a fello in town what says he'll send flowers anywhere you +want by telegraph. I was goin to send you some for Christmas +morning. Then I figgered it was a silly idea. In the first place +theyd get all smashed on the way. An then you cant get enough +flowers in one of them little envelopes to make one good smell. +Nothin if not right. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>I had dinner in town with Max Glocoses mother. Hes a fello in +our tent. Shes a nice enough old lady but she aint military, Mable. +We was walkin down the street before dinner an salutin officers so +fast it looked like we was scratchin our forheds. An every time we +saluted she bowed. I didnt say nothin cause after all she was payin +for the dinner. Later on though she says. "I think its fine you +boys has made so many friends among the officers cause I think +there such nice men." Can you beat it Mable? An when she went home +she sent Max an officers hat cord cause she said she didnt think it +would fade as quick as that old blue thing he was wearin.</p> +<p>I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas presents you an +your mother sent. Im glad you minded what I said about not wantin +nothin although Id sent you two presents what was worth more than I +could afford ($4.87). As I said to Joe Loomis who was in the tent +when your presents came, it aint what the thing cost or wether you +could ever use it for anything. Its the thought. Sentiment before +pleasure. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Thanks for the red sweter, Mable. We aint allowed to use them. +But you dont want to feel bad about that cause I got lots of others +an didnt need it anyway. An tell your mother thanks for the +preserves an cake. I think thats what they was. They must have +packed them between a steam roller and a donkey engin from the +looks. Joe Loomis picked out most of the glass an tried some. Hed +eat anything, that fello, Mable. He said it must have been pretty +good when it started. Tell that to your mother. I know it will +please her.</p> +<p>I got so many presents from other girls an the like that its +kind of hard to remember if you sent me anything else. If you did +just tell me in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite +again.</p> +<p>I hope my presents arrived all right. I guess you'll like em. +You ought to at the price. As I says to the girl what sold em when +she says she didnt have nothin cheaper "Nothins to good for where +there goin." Isnt that tipical of me, Mable?</p> +<p>Well, Mable, perhaps next year Ill send you a Dutch helmit +maybe. It aint no use wishin you a happy New Year cause I know how +itll be with me away an your father what he is.</p> +<blockquote>Yours regardless,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Croquette:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Thats not the kind with the evenin dress tooth pick in the top, +Mable. A croquette is a French society woman. Study these letters +of mine an see how I use the words. You ought to be able to pick up +enough French to understand me talkin it when I come home.</p> +<p>Well, Mable, New Years are behind us again. Once more I made a +lot of revolushuns. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin for me to +change. Youre prejudiced. I can see falts where others cant. +Underneath a plesant exterior I am made of sterner stuff, as the +poets say. I have gave up frivolity with the exception of goin into +town once in a while to take a bath. Im strong for this sanity +stuff under any conditions.</p> +<p>Im makin a study of war. Im goin to tell you a sekrut. Im workin +on a plan to end the war. I got thinkin, as I will, an it struck me +that no one had gone into this at all. There all figurin how to go +on with it but none of em how to quit it. Dont say nothin till I +get it worked out. I guess you always knew youd here from me when I +got goin, eh Mable?</p> +<br> +<a name="064.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/064.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"A CROQUETTE IS A FRENCH SOCIETY WOMAN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I also resolved not to put off till tomorrow what I can do +today. (Old motto.) For instance if I can get out of a fatigue +today whats the use of waitin till tomorrow. The same with sleepin +and restin.</p> +<p>I cut out cigarets to. I was gettin to be a feend. Got so I had +to lite one whenever I got thinkin. I was usin up most a package a +day. Nervous an high strung. Thats me all over, Mable. I smoke +cigars an a pipe instead. A fello with an active mind has got to +have somethin. You remember what the fello what trained the high +school show said when he saw me act. Temperature. Thats me. Of +course its harder to borrow pipe tobacco and cigars but Im tryin to +show the fellos how bad cigarets is. Pretty soon Ill be all O.K. +again.</p> +<p>I got that watch your father sent me for a New Years present. +Tell him thanks very much an not to feel bad because he forgot to +send me a Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely. +He said it was a military watch an the latest thing out. I guess +they call it a military watch cause it works two hours and stops +four. Its the latest thing round here. If I answered call by that +watch Id be fallin in for retreat round taps. Its so slow it cant +stop quick.</p> +<p>I got the blacksmith over at headquarters company workin on it +now. Hes an awful good man. He was a plumber in civilian life. +Thats why they made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He +says hes goin to fix it sos Ill never be bothered with it +again.</p> +<p>I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a +Colonels wife. It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy +though. I says whose that funny lookin old bird sittin across the +room with a head like an egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a +French joke Mable.) She says "Thats my husband." As soon as Id +stopped laffin I started right in an told her the history of every +man in the company beginnin with the As. You know me when I get +started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed. When she +started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to show +her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no +effort.</p> +<p>I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I +heard her ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like +"Hed ought to be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all +over. It may mean promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have +me sent to Fort Silly to learn somethin. You cant tell.</p> +<br> +<a name="068.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/068.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE</b></p> +<br> +<p>I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont +show these letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I +suppose you are awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to +be lonesome what with drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as +things get shook down a bit I hope to get more time to miss you. +Hows your fathers liver?</p> +<blockquote>Au Riviere,<br> + <i>Bill</i>.</blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Mon Ami:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of +fact its the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond +of.</p> +<p>Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways. +The Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I +knew more than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id +always tell him cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey +City an so I was sorry for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the +other day when I was on guard he says, "Corperal, whats the General +orders?" an I says, "Captin if you dont kno them now you never will +and I wouldnt be doin no service to my country if I told you." Cold +but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be.</p> +<p>The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry +for him. Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard +again. I go on guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the +guard because when the relief goes out I take all their blankets an +go right to sleep instead of standin outside an watchin them +freeze. Men hate to be watched while they are freezin.</p> +<br> +<a name="072.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/072.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"MEN HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FREEZIN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>But I happened to be outside for some reason, goin to dinner I +guess, an I saw the Colonel coming. I says "Turn out the guard." +(No one really turns em out, Mable. They come out themselves.) The +Colonel sees who it is an waves an says "Never mind the guard, +Corperal." So I thanks him an goes back to the company an goes to +bed.</p> +<p>As soon as the Captin sees that the Colonel is savin me up for +over there he gets sore. His plan has been to kill me before we +left here. He said he was goin to reduce me. Thats not the same way +your father reduces when he cuts out beer with his meals an sits in +a Turkish all day. I never said you will or you wont. Just waited +till he got outside an thumbed my nose at him. High spirited. Thats +me all over.</p> +<p>An English officer came over the other day an told us all about +the war. He didnt quite finish it cause he only had three quarters +of an hour. They was quite a few things I didnt kno even at that. +He said that the heavy artillery was commanded by the C.C.O.D.A. an +the light artillery by the C.O.A. An theres a special N.C.O. who +has nothin to do but look after the S.A.A. Just imagine, Mable. I +wish Id studied chemistree more when I was in school. It would make +things a lot easier for me now. Then he said that a man always got +into his O.O. to observe the action of the 75s. These English are +always great for dress an that formal stuff.</p> +<p>Im glad there tellin us this before we go over. It would have +been awful embarassing to have tried to observe the action of the +75s in my B.V.Ds. I asked him if they had any trouble with the +B.P.O.Es. When he left he said "Cheero." Without winkin a hair I +says "Beevo." Same old Bill, eh Mable?</p> +<p>They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to +school an learn all about liason. I said there wasnt much use in +there doin that cause I was pretty well up on that stuff. At home, +I says, I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen. Nobody knows +better than you, eh Mable? I guess thats a little over your head +though, Mable. I try to be as simple as I can. If Im not just tell +me.</p> +<p>Im ritin this letter with my shoes off. I hope youll excuse my +bein so informal but Im havin the old trouble with my feet. They +never been right since that winter I taught you to dance. I went to +the doctor with them an he said to keep offen them as much as I +could. So they put me to work scrubbin the mess shack on my hans +and nees. I bet if a fello had both legs shot off theyd prop you up +against the wall an put you peelin onions.</p> +<br> +<a name="076.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/076.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I HAD A REPUTASHUN FOR A DEVIL WITH THE WIMEN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I got to quit now. They got a thing called retreat they have +every night. I always like to be there just to show the Captin Im +behind him regardless.</p> +<p>Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform pointin to an American +flag. Its kind of simbolical the man said, if you know what that +is. I thought youd like to put it on the mantle in a conspikuous +place sos to have somethin to be proud of when your girl friend +comes in to talk. Id ask you for your pictur only I havnt got much +room for that kind of thing down here.</p> +<blockquote>yours exclusively<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>Everyone round here is goin to school now so they can be +speshulists. Not the kind your mother goes to, Mable. A speshulist +only does one thing. I been doin everything round here ever since I +came. I was gettin sick of it. I went to the top sargent an says I +guessed Id be a speshulist to. He said all right hed make me a food +speshulist. Said Id have to go into it pretty deep. I been into it +up to my elbows in the kitchen ever since. Never trust sargents. +Least of all top sargents. If it keeps on like this there wont be +nobody to do the actual fightin but me, Mable. Its too much +responsibilety for one man. Suppose I was to get sick or +somethin.</p> +<p>An then a bunch of fellos went away to lern to be officers. That +kind of struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done +round here. I went to the Captin an told him I thought Id go to. He +said I could go to, and then he added somethin.</p> +<br> +<a name="080.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/080.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IT SEEMED TO DEPRES THEM AWFUL"</b></p> +<br> +<p>He said a company was built up somethin like a man. There was +the brain, which was the officers, an then some was the muscle an +some was the bone. He said I seemed to be pretty well fitted for my +part by nature so he wouldnt change me. Ive always been strong ever +since I was a kid, Mable.</p> +<p>Ive rote a pome. I sent it to the Divisun paper. They wouldnt +print it cause they said it was so real that it might depres the +men. I guess they was right cause I read it to the fellos in the +tent an it seemed to depres them awful. Im ritin it to you. Its +about the war. Youll probably notice that yourself if you read it +careful. Here it is.</p> +<blockquote>I<br> +<br> +Here the thunder of the guns<br> +Smashin down the German Huns<br> +An the sticky pools of gory blood<br> +Soakin up the oozie sod<br> +The rushin, roarin, shreekin boom<br> +Of bullets crashin thru the gloom<br> +<br> +<br> +II<br> +<br> +Listen to those grate bums bust<br> +On the quiverin Hunnish crust<br> +Listen to the shreekin, moanin<br> +Swearin, yellin, gruntin, groanin<br> +That comes to us across the trenches<br> +All mixed up with grusome stenches<br> +<br> +<br> +III<br> +<br> +Biff, an from there hellish lare<br> +The shreeks of Germans rent the air.<br> +Bloody lims lie on the ground.<br> +Bits of Huns go flyin round.<br> +Bang! And through the cannons roar<br> +Is plainly herd the splashin gore.<br> +<br> +<br> +IV<br> +<br> +But this cannot go on for long,<br> +Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong.<br> +An when we charge the German line<br> +We'll chuck the dam thing in the Rine.<br> +An blood an slauter, rape an gore<br> +In Bel Le France will rain no more.</blockquote> +<br> +<p>Aint that terrible, Mable? I read it to one fello an he said it +made him absolutely sick. He said he didn't see how I could rite it +without gettin sick myself. Just between me an you Mable I did come +pretty near being once or twice when I was ritin it.</p> +<br> +<a name="084.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/084.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES WINDIN UP YOUR +VICTROLA"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Most of all thats confidential but I dont care if you read it to +some of your friends just to give em a good idea of what war is. +Some of the things aint very nice of course. If your ritin big +stuff though you got to put in everything that comes into your +head, or else you lose the punch. I think the ends the best. A lot +of fellos has said that. We ought to have more of that. It gets the +slackers.</p> +<p>The Rine is a German river where they make wine near Berlin, +Mable.</p> +<p>You keep menshuning a fello named Broggins in your letters. Now +I aint got a spark of jelusy in my nature. Big. Thats me all over, +Mable. But I warn you frankly. If I ever catch one of those ailin +enemies windin up your victrola Ill kick him out of the house. +Thats only fair. It isn't that I care a snap. Theres plenty of +girls waitin for me. Its just the principul of the thing.</p> +<p>Dont think for a minit that I care. I just menshun it cause I +couldnt think of nothin else to say.</p> +<blockquote>Yours till you here otherwise,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Pom de mon oie:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish. It means apple of my eye. +I never saw an apple in nobodys eye, Mable, but I guess thats some +French custom.</p> +<p>Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience +department in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about +the 15th of Feb. Dont say nothin to nobody about it. It might look +as if I was gettin mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on +the 5th tho. Then I wont have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your +glad. Its great to think of gettin into a place where you cant see +through the walls and there aint three inches of mud on the floor. +An think of not havin to tie the doors together when you come in or +crawl underneath em on your hans and nees and not havin to put +everything you own in the world under the bed. But I guess you dont +care as much about these things as I will.</p> +<p>This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the +fello that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in +civil life or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the +other night the silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been +seen since.</p> +<br> +<a name="088.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/088.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a +pair. Keep everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot +about as well as me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of +wood that he has to hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that +it jumps up and down like a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do +when they get awful hot. Were not bothered by that much though.</p> +<p>We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus +MacKenzie. Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have +lots of air or hed smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the +tent by his bed. No one likes fresh air in its place better than +me, Mable, but when its as fresh as this air is its place is +outside.</p> +<p>I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys +things in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I +get cramps. If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin +is as warm as a park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push +my feet down. That's awful.</p> +<p>One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of +the blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside +snorin. Can you beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter +home and has his pictur in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before +I could get my head back. Thats the kind of a fello he is.</p> +<p>Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first +is just for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I +dont take too many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up +just before assembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin +dressed. He dont fool nobody. The only thing he takes off at nite +is his hat. Some says that falls off when he gets into bed.</p> +<p>Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is +furlined. You can hear him smashin the ice in the pale with a hair +brush outside. Then you can tell hes washin by the noise he makes +like a busted steam pipe. Then he comes smashin into the tent +leavin the door open and wipes the ice off en his face with +somebody elses towel an says gosh thats great. I hate that kind of +a fello.</p> +<p>Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos +everything would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in +the dark next mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable.</p> +<br> +<a name="092.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/092.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS +STARVIN"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all +right. Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and +couldnt. The first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I +thought I was starvin. I looked like one of them picturs of hungry +Indiens that the mishunaries show you just before they pass the +plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later and says why didnt somebody +tell him he was gettin so fat cause he couldnt go home on a furlo +like that. He didnt eat nothin for three meals and then he looked +at hisseif with the mirror turned the other way. Its like one of +those Coney Island places where a fello can go in and laff at +hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break.</p> +<p>I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I +dont sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont +say nothin about what I told you in the beginnin.</p> +<p>Until the 15th Feb. then.</p> +<blockquote>Yours faithfully,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order +out against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley +coat awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order +against em. Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for +less than he paid for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day +they issue an order that you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to +go home an put an order out against it. If theyd only come right +out an say Bill Smith were goin to get you. Sneaky. Thats what I +call it, Mable.</p> +<p>Ive half a mind to transfer back to the artillery. If I transfer +much more theyll be chargin me extra fare, eh Mable? Only for me an +the Captin not bein able to agree Id never have left. I understand +hes been awful sorry since. All you have to do in artillery is to +put a bullet in the gun. It does the rest. In the infantry you got +to go up and do all the dirty work yourself.</p> +<br> +<a name="096.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/096.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT."</b></p> +<br> +<p>Besides Im gettin leery of these infantry fellos. There always +talking about what were goin to do to the Germans, blowin em to +pieces and slicin em up an throwin em all around the lot. I got +thinkin what if the Germans was learnin there men to do the same +thing. They never seem to figger on these things.</p> +<p>An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of +fellos in a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some +ones goin to get hurt sure.</p> +<p>I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if +he ever gets takin like that again not to send such a large box +but-well you explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing +much better than I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<p>Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a +vest as soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he +knows whats what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before +the war started send em to the soldiers. They wont know the +difference. Some wimen sent our regiment the Baptist Review for +three years back. That aint right, Mable. They give you candy that +comes by the bale. Then they come round an watch you eat it. I bet +if you walked into there place an watched them eat theyd raise an +awful holler. They make speeches to you that youd get your money +back without askin up north. They give you free movies thats so old +they look as if they was taken in the rain.</p> +<p>It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter +so much as long as theres lots of it.</p> +<p>Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a +china plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on +me. Im awful sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put +food in it it folds up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes +months to make a good mess kit eater.</p> +<p>We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter. +One of them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your +cup an half on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess +they are old Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate +splash an knocks it squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate +an knocks it the other way. When you get it all its runnin out of +one dish up your sleeve an out of the other back into the food +pans.</p> +<p>Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful +stupid. If theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim +on it. Then they pour the soup on your cover.</p> +<p>When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the +table. It isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as +it hits.</p> +<br> +<a name="100.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/100.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"</b></p> +<br> +<p>You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many +overcoats and things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some +fellos eats with there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though. +It makes things taste like eatin peaches with there skins on.</p> +<p>The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply +Sargent once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a +spoonful of loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and +leaves a couple of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on +the next fello. Never complain. Thats me all over.</p> +<p>Well Mable I got to shine my shoes now and go and eat offen +china plates with a nigger waiter. I dont eat with a nigger waiter, +Mable. Its awful hard to explain things to you sometimes. So now I +will close.</p> +<blockquote>Hoping you are the same<br> + <i>Bill</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I been thinkin of you a lot durin the last weak, Mable, havin +nothin else to do. I been in the hospital with the Bronxitis. I +guess I caught it from Joe Loomis. He comes from there. Id have +rote you in bed but I dropped my fountin pen on the floor an bent +it. Im all right now.</p> +<p>I got some news for you, Mable. The cook says we only drew ten +days supply of food last time. He says he guesses when we et that +up well go to France. Hes an awful smart fello the cook. Hes got a +bet on that if the allys dont buck up an win the Germans is comin +out ahead. Max Glucos, a fello in the tent, is refere. Were all +eatin as fast as we can. Perhaps we can eat it all in less than ten +days. So maybe well be gone, Mable, before I rite you from here +again.</p> +<p>Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the +war is goin to be over quick. He ought to know cause hes been over +there an seen the whole thing. He smokes cigarets something awful +an dont say much. Thats because the poor cus cant talk much +English. It must be awful not to talk English. Think of not bein +able to say nothin all your life without wavin your arms round an +then lookin it up in a dickshunary.</p> +<br> +<a name="104.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/104.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"HE SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I feel so sorry for these fellos that Im studiin French a lot +harder sos theyll have someone to talk to when we get over there. +Im readin a book now thats rote all in French. No English in it +anywhere, Mable. A fello told me that was the only way to talk it +good. I dont understand it very well so far. The only way I kno its +French is by the picturs. Some day Im goin to find out what the +name is. Then Im goin to get the English of it. Those are some +picturs. Aint I fierce, Mable? I guess thats why I get on with +wimen so well.</p> +<p>I gave up readin it out loud cause the fellos said it made em +think they was in Paris so much they got restles. I cant speak no +better yet. I guess that comes all at once at the end of the +book.</p> +<p>As soon as we got the hot shouers all fixed the pipes busted. So +the other day the Captin walked us all in town to take a bath. I +didnt need one much. I used my head more than most of em. Last fall +when it was warm I took as many as two a week an got away ahead of +the game. I went along though. More for the walk than anything.</p> +<p>I saw the Captin didnt make no move to take a bath hisself. I +thought he might be shy. He dont mix very well with the fellos. I +felt sorry for him. Everyone else was laffin an throwin things with +him standin off an noone throwin a thing at him. I went up an says +"Aint you goin to take a bath this winter to, Captin?" Just jolly, +Mable, that all. I says, "You dont want to mind the bunch. They +dont care a bit. There as dirty as you are anyway. Probably more." +An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen the Captin do a stroke +of work since we come here. Just stands round givin orders.</p> +<p>I says, "If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine. I was +just goin to have it washed anyway." He got awful red and +embarassed Mable. I thought he was goin to choke. Hes awful +queer.</p> +<p>Just like the other mornin he calls me over an says, "Smith, my +orderlies sick. You can shine my boots this mornin." He said it +like Id been beggin him to for a month. An then he says, "Smith you +can lite the fire in my stove." He had me thinkin he was doin me +favors. He said I might put some oil on his boots if I wished. I +says that would be a great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind +or the fellos would think he was playin favorites. I guess he didnt +here me Mable cause hed just gone out. I said it anyway. I didnt +care if he wasnt there. Spunky. Thats me all over.</p> +<br> +<a name="108.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/108.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF HIS LAMP"</b></p> +<br> +<p>I couldnt find no oil for his boots anywhere, Mable, so I poured +some out of his lamp. An then I dont think that suited him. Queer +fello the Captin.</p> +<p>I keep herein more about this fello Broggins. I suppose he +belongs to the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the +evenin. An I suppose he has an American flag on his ritin paper. It +dont mean nothin in my life. I aint goin to put up no arguments or +get nasty like most fellos would. Dignity. Thats me all over, +Mable. Let me tell you though if I ever come home and find him +shinin his elbos on the top of your baby grand Ill kick him down +the front steps if I only have one leg to do it with.</p> +<p>Im ritin this in the Y.M.C.A. in the afternoon cause Im goin on +guard tonite. I dont see why they dont make it a permenant detail +and be done with it. Someone said the top sargents a man of one +idea. I guess Im the idea. I didnt go out to drill this afternoon. +I didnt say nothin to the Sargent though cause sargents have an +idea that if they dont get a lot of fellos to go out to drill with +them they dont look popular. I got to go new sos to get in my tent +before they come from drill.</p> +<blockquote>As ever<br> + on guard,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold I couldnt say +nothin for most a weak.</p> +<p>Well Mable, we et all the food like the cook said but we aint in +France yet. I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had. +Everyone is sore at him cause we didnt kick at none of his food for +more than a weak thinkin that when wed et it all wed go away. He +thinks its funny an says "Do youse guys think this war is a Cooks +tour?" I hate fellos what tries to get out of things by bein +smart.</p> +<p>Everythings covered with mud includin me. I seem to attract mud +like I was a maggot, Mable. Yesterday I spent all the afternoon +shinin up for guard sos to be the Colonels orderly. Then I step out +of the tent and flui. The Sargent says, "Smith dont you know enuff +not to go on guard lookin like that?"</p> +<p>I even got mud in my hair. Max Glucos says when he combs his its +like rakin out a garden. From what I seen of him though I dont see +how he found out.</p> +<br> +<a name="112.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/112.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR"</b></p> +<br> +<a name="113.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/113.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE WATER COMES THROUGH ON ME"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Its pourin rain an awful cold. Its so cold that the tooth past +rolls right offen your brush in the morning. The Captin has a cold +in his nose. He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as +today. Taint nothin gainst him Mable but I hope he has a cold all +winter.</p> +<p>Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where the water comes +through on me. I put a slicker over me last nite. The water made +puddles in it. Then when I turned over they spilt out into my +shoes. This had me guessin Mable till finally I put Max Glucoses +shoes there instead of mine. Angus MacKenzie had so many holes over +his cot that it looked like one of those safety fire sprinklers. He +got up last nite and rigged his shelter half sos the water hit it +an run down onto the next cot. Hes a brite fello, Angus, even if he +is a forener.</p> +<p>The other day he had some medecine for a cold. It says on the +bottle that it was 17 per cent alcohol. He drank the whole thing +right down sos nobody couldnt get hold of it. It made him awful +sick but he says thats because he isnt used to it for such a long +time. Me an hims goin down next week to put in a stock of tonics. +Its awful hard to rite letters, Mable. Somebodys always fallin over +your feet or draggin something wet over the paper if youve got a +cot near the door like mine is. An when you get goin finally at +about the fourth try some sargent always comes in with a list and +makes you check up something.</p> +<p>Sometimes I go over to the Y.M.C.A., Mable. But as soon as you +get ritin a bald headed fello jumps up an says "Now fellos well all +sing." All the fellos whats ritin looks up an says "Aw one thing +and another." I dont know who the bald headed fello is. They got +one in every Y.M.C.A. They all look about alike. I guess there a +regular issue. Theys always a bunch of fellos what dont seem to kno +why they came. They all start singin. Then I cant rite no more or +do nothin. So I come home an go to bed. Independent. Thats me all +over, Mable.</p> +<p>Most of the taxis is swalowed up in the mud. Theys only two or +three runnin now. Only the big strong fellos can get to town. The +cook says its the old theory of the arrival of the fittest. But I +guess you dont know nothin about cience, Mable. When I go to town I +wrap my blouze in a newspaper. If they know your goin they give you +a list of things to get that looks like a Chinese Message to +Congress. By the time you go to come home you got so many bundles +you look like one of those fellos in the Funny Papers. Everyone +stands in the square lookin like a hat rack waitin for the three +taxis to come along. When they see one they rush it like they do in +the movies when the milunares cars runs over the poor fellos kid. +If goin over the top is any worse than gettin under the top of one +of them things with fifty bundles an as many fellos then Sherman +didnt know many swear words, eh Mable? But thats history. I guess +you wouldnt understand.</p> +<p>An then when you get home without a bath or a hair cut or the +movies or nothin, an you forgot to get that shavin soap for +yourself an spent all your money they say "Thanks Bill. Put it over +there. Can you change a ten dollar bill?" There ought to be a law +against makin money in such big numbers.</p> +<p>Im glad you taken up singin lessons again. You ought to take a +lot of em. I got a favor to ask. I dont do that offen. Proud. Thats +me all over. But if that fello Broggins keeps buttin round sing for +him Mable. It aint askin much with me down here defendin you. +Although I dont see why I had to come down here to do it.</p> +<blockquote>Yours internally,<br> + <i>Bill.</i></blockquote> +<br> +<br> +<hr style="width: 35%;"> +<br> +<br> +<h2><i>Dere Mable:</i></h2> +<br> +<p>This is the last time I will ever take my pen in hand for you. +All is over among us.</p> +<p>I felt it comin for some time Mable. Today among some letters +that I got from girls was one from a girl what knos you well. She +told me all about this fello Broggins. She says you take him around +with you everywhere. Thats the kind of a fello I thought he was, +Mable, but Im surprized at you. She says your awful fond of him hes +so cute. I aint cute an aint never pretended to be. A mans man. +Thats me all over, Mable. She says she went up to your house the +other night an he was sittin in your lap stickin his tongue out at +my pictur on the mantlepiece. After that, Mable, theres nothin to +say. So I repeat, its all over among us.</p> +<p>Im returnin today by parcels post the red sweter an the gloves +that has no fingers an the sox that you wear over your head an your +pictur. Most of the stuff aint been used much. The pictur has some +mud on it cause I had to keep it in the bottom of my barrak bag an +my shoes came next. The sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe +Glucos an you wouldnt want em now.</p> +<br> +<a name="118.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/118.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"THE LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PEN IN HAND FOR YOU"</b></p> +<br> +<p>The stuff that you sent me to eat I havnt kept. I guess you +wouldnt want that anyway Mable. The stuff that your mother sent me +Im going to keep. She wasnt my girl an she didnt have to send all +that stuff if she didnt want to.</p> +<p>As for all the things I have give you, Mable, keep em. I dont +want em no more. I aint even goin to menshun all the money Ive +spent on you for movies an sodas an the Lord knows what not. I aint +the kind of a fello to throw that up to a fello or even menshun it +in no ways. I kept track of it though in a little book. It comes to +$28.27 and some odd sense.</p> +<p>An I aint agoin to hold it up against you that I been savin in +the bank for most two years sos to have a little somethin towards +that house with the green blinds. An that I got somethin like +$87.22 in the bank if you can believe what that eagle beak in the +cage rites in your book. All wasted you might say, when you think +of the fun I might have had with it in the last two years. Those +things we'll just forget. You seem to have already.</p> +<p>An that seasons pass I got for you for the Happyhour sos you +could keep in touch with things while I was away. Keep that and +take Broggins. Otherwise I got a hunch you aint goin to the movies +as much as you used to.</p> +<p>I guess this will hit your father an mother pretty hard. They +got nobody to blame but yourself. On the other hand its goin to +please some girls that I know. So its a poor wind that dont blow +nobody round as the poets say. I guess you wont here much about the +poets any more, Mable. About all youll here is Broggins. I hate a +man what talks about himself.</p> +<p>I suppose he has joined the Home defence. Are you goin to have a +military weddin, Mable?</p> +<p>Im kind of sorry for your father. If you have his liver on your +hands dont blame me. You know the doctor said any kind of a shock +would set him off a mile.</p> +<p>An now, Mable, Im closin for the last time. It wont be no use +runin to the door when you here the postman no more cause he wont +have nothin but the gas bill. From now on the only way youll here +from me is in the papers perhaps when we get over there.</p> +<p>Now Im going to ask you a favor, Mable, for old times sake. Take +the pictur I had taken pointin to the American flag an burn it up. +You cant have that to show your friends no more an I aint goin to +have no flat foot makin faces at it. I may be selfish, Mable, but a +girl cant make a cake an eat it too as the old sayin is.</p> +<br> +<a name="122.png"></a> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/122.png" width="40%" alt=""><br> +<b>"IT WONT BE NO USE RUNIN TO THE DOOR"</b></p> +<br> +<p>Give my best to your father an mother. Tell em I simpathize with +them in there loss. Its no use ritin any more cause Im firm as the +rock of Gibber Alter. Concrete. Thats me all over, Mable.</p> +<blockquote>as ever<br> + yours no longer<br> + Bill</blockquote> +<br> +<p class="ctr"><img src="images/125.png" width="45%" alt=""></p> +<br> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dere Mable, by Edward Streeter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DERE MABLE *** + +***** This file should be named 13993-h.htm or 13993-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/9/9/13993/ + +Produced by Rick Niles, Charlie Kirschner and the PG Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Dere Mable + Love Letters Of A Rookie + +Author: Edward Streeter + +Release Date: November 9, 2004 [EBook #13993] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DERE MABLE *** + + + + +Produced by Rick Niles, Charlie Kirschner and the PG Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + +[Illustration: Dere O... +LOVE LETTERS +By E. STREETER] + +[Illustration: MABLE] + +Dere Mable-- + +LOVE LETTERS OF A ROOKIE + +BY + +EDWARD STREETER + +27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION + +WITH 35 ILLUSTRATIONS IN BLACK-AND-WHITE BY + +G. WILLIAM BRECK + +("Bill Breck") + +27TH (N.Y.) DIVISION + +[Illustration] + +1918 + + + + +DEDICATION + + To a million Private Bills who have suddenly learnt to call a coat a + blouse. Taking things as they find them. Vaguely understanding. + Caring less. Grumbling by custom. Cheerful by nature. Ever anxious + to be where they are not. Ever anxious to be somewhere else when + they get there. Without thought of sacrifice. Who have left the + flag-waving to those at home. Who serve as a matter of course. + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + +Mable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ +"The only place there flat is on the map" . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 +"You can read em to your granchildren" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 +"You walk a post but there aint no post" . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 +"I just found it in my bakin can" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 +"I dont like any sargeant" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 +"I dont care much for horses, they feels the same way about me" . 9 +"Max Glucos what lives on the next cot" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 +"Smith are you laffin at me?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 +"One day its our teeth" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 +"Remember me to your mother" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 +"Not the kind your father has" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 +"I wear them every night over my uniform" . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 +"I been made an officer" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 +"Somebodied set a trunk on the turky" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 +"Built like the leg of a sailurs trowsers" . . . . . . . . . . . 22 +"You paint a horse black and white stripes" . . . . . . . . . . . 24 +"I spent mine doin Kitchen police" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 +"I wish that hired girl could come down" . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 +"A croquette is a French society woman" . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 +"I sat next to a Colonels wife" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 +"Men hate to be watched while they are freezin" . . . . . . . . . 34 +"I had a reputashun for a devil with the wimen" . . . . . . . . . 36 +"It seemed to depres them awful" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 +"If I catch one of those ailin enemies windin up your victrola" . 40 +"Stuck my head out of the blankets" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 +"When I looked in the tin mirror I thought I was starvin" . . . . 44 +"They come round an watch you eat it" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 +"Army food always runs" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 +"He smokes cigarets something awful" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 +"I poured some oil out of his lamp" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 +"I even got mud in my hair" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 +"The water comes through on me" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 +"The last time I will take my pen in hand for you" . . . . . . . 58 +"It wont be no use runin to the door" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 + + + +Dere Mable + +Love Letters of a Rookie + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I guess you thought I was dead. Youll never know how near you was to +right. We got the tents up at last, though, so I got a minit to rite. I +guess they choose these camps by mail order. The only place there flat +is on the map. Where our tents is would make a good place for a Rocky +Mountin goat if he didnt break his neck. The first day the Captin came +out an says "Pitch your tents here." Then he went to look for someone +quick before anyone could ask him how. I wish I was a Captin. I guess he +thought we was Alpine Chasers. Eh, Mable? But you probably dont know +what those are. + +Honest, Mable, if Id put in the work I done last week on the Panamah +Canal it would have been workin long before it was. Of course there was +a lot of fellos there with me but it seemed like all they did was to +stand round and hand me shovels when I wore em out. + +The Captin appresheates me though. The other day he watched me work +awhile and then he says "Smith." He calls me Smith now. We got very +friendly since I been nice to him. I noticed none of the other fellos +had much to say to him. I felt kind of sorry for him. Hes a human bein +even if he is a Captin, Mable. So every time I saw him I used to stop +him and talk to him. Democratic. Thats me all over, Mable. "Smith" he +says "If they was all like you round here war would be hell, no joke." +By which he meant that we would make it hot for the Boshes. + +I been feelin awful sorry for you, Mable. What with missin me and your +fathers liver gone back on him again things must have been awful +lonesome for you. It isnt as if you was a girl what had a lot of fellos +hangin round all the time. Not that you couldnt have em, Mable, but you +dont an theres no use makin no bones about it. If it hadnt been for me I +guess things would have been pretty stupid though I dont begrudge you a +cent. You know how I am with my money. I guess you ought to anyway. Eh, +Mable? Never talk of money matters in connexun with a woman. Thats +me all over. + +[Illustration: "THE ONLY PLACE THERE FLAT IS ON THE MAP"] + +[Illustration: "YOU CAN READ EM TO YOUR GRANCHILDREN"] + +Now I got started an found a fountin pen an the Y.M.C.A. givin away +paper like it does Im goin to rite you regular. They say there goin +to charge three sents for a letter pretty soon. That aint goin to stop +me though, Mable. There aint no power in heavin or earth, as the poets +say, as can come between you and me, Mable. You mite send a few three +sent stamps when you rite. That is if your fathers able to work yet. And +willin, I should add. + +Of course it aint nothin to me but Id keep these letters what you get +from me as a record of the war. Some day you can read em to your +granchildren an say "Your Granfather Bill did all these things." Aint I +the worst, Mable? Serious though I havnt found noone so far what has +thought of doin this except the newspapers. I guess Ill get a lot of +inside stuff that theyll never see. So this may be the only one of its +kind. But it doesnt matter to me what you do with them, Mable. + +Later Ill tell you all about everything but I guess you wont understand +much cause its tecknickle. Lots of the fellos are gettin nitted things +and candy and stuff right along. Dont pay no attenshun to that, though, +or take it for a hint cause it aint. I just say it as a matter of +rekord. Independent if nothin. Thats me all over. + + Yours till the war ends + _Bill_ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Having nothin better to do I take up my pen to rite. + +We have been here now three weeks. As far as I am concerned I am all +ready to go. I told the Captin that I was ready any time. He said yes, +but that wed have to wait for the slow ones cause they was all goin +together. I says was I to go out to drill with the rest. He said yes +more for the example than anything else. Its kind of maddening to be +hangin round here when I might be over there helpin the Sammies put a +stop to this thing. + +[Illustration: "YOU WALK A POST BUT THERE AINT NO POST"] + +In the mean time I been doin guard duty. Seems like I been doin it every +night but I know what there up against and I dont say nothin. Guard duty +is something like extemperaneus speakin. You got to know everything your +goin to say before you start. Its very tecknickle. For instance you walk +a post but there aint no post. An you mount guard but you dont really +mount nothin. An you turn out the guard but you dont really turn em out. +They come out them selves. Just the other night I was walkin along +thinkin of you Mable an my feet which was hurtin. It made me awful +lonesome. An officer come up and he says why dont you draw your pistol +when you here someone comin. An I says I dont wait till the sheep is +stole I drew it this afternoon from the Supply sargent. An I showed it +to him tucked inside my shirt where noone could get it away from me +without some tussel, you bet, Mable. But it seems that you got to keep +on drawin it all the time. Then later I here footsteps. I was expectin +the relief so I was right on the job. An a man come up and I poked my +pistol right in his face an says Halt. Who goes there? And he says +Officer of the day. An bein disappointed as who wouldnt be I says Oh +hell. I thought it was the relief. An he objected to that. The relief, +Mable--but whats the use you wouldnt understand it. + +Theres some mistake up north Mable about the way were built, Mable. Its +kind of depresin to think that you could forget about us so quick. +Everyones gettin sweters without sleeves and gloves without fingers. We +still got everything we started with Mable. Why not sox without feet and +pants without legs. If your makin these things for after the war I think +your anticipatin a little. Besides its depresin for the fellos to be +reminded all the time. Its like givin a fello a life membership to the +Old Soldiers home to cheer him up when he sails. I was sayin the other +day that if the fellos at Washington ever get onto this theyll be issuin +soleles shoes and shirtles sleves. + +Its gettin awful cold. No wonder this is a healthy place. All the germs +is froze. I guess there idea of the hardenin proces is to freeze a fello +stiff. The Captin said the other day we was gettin in tents of trainin. +Thats all right but Id kind of like to see those steam heated barraks. +Youve red about those fellos that go swimmin in the ice in winter. I +guess thed like our shouer baths. They say Cleanliness is next to +Godliness, Mable. I say its next to impossible. + +I started this letter almost a weak ago. I just found it in my bakin +can. They call it a bakin can but its too small to bake nothin. I keep +my soap in it. I got some news for you. The regiment is to be +dismantled. The Captin called me over this mornin and asked me where Id +like to be transferred. I said home if it was the same to him. So there +goin to send me to the artillery. This is a very dangerous and useful +limb of the servus, Mable. I dont kno my address. Just write me care of +the General. + +I got the red muffler that your mother sent me. Give her my love just +the same + + yours relentlessly, + _Bill_. + +[Illustration: "I JUST FOUND IT IN MY BAKIN CAN"] + + + +_Dere Mable_: + +I havnt rote for some time I had such sore feet lately. When they broke +up our regiment and sent me over to the artillery I thought I was goin +to quit usin my feet. That was just another roomor. + +Thanks for the box of stuff you sent me. I guess the brakeman must have +used it for a chair all the way. It was pretty well baled but that dont +matter. And thanks for the fudge too. That was fudge wasnt it, Mable? +And the sox. They dont fit but I can use them for somethin. A good +soldier never throws nothin away. An thank your mother for the half pair +of gloves she sent me. I put them away. Maybe sometime shell get a +chance to nit the other half. Or if I ever get all my fingers shot off +theyll come in very handy. + +The artillerys a little different from the infantry. They make us work +harder. At least theres more work on the skedule. I know now what they +mean when they say that the "artillerys active on the western front." + +They got a drill over here called the standin gun drill. The names +misleadin. I guess it was invented by a troop of Jap akrobats. They +make you get up and sit on the gun. Before you can get settled +comfortable they make you get down again. It looks like they didnt know +just what they did want you to do. + +I dont like the Sargent. I dont like any sargent but this one +particular. The first day out be kept sayin "Prepare to mount" and then +"Mount." Finally I went up to him and told him that as far as I was +concerned he could cut that stuff for I was always prepared to do what I +was told even though it was the middle of the night. He said, Fine, then +I was probably prepared to scrub pans all day Sunday. + +I dont care much for horses. I think they feels the same way about me. +Most of them are so big that the only thing there good for is the view +of the camp you get when you climb up. They are what they call hors de +combat in French. My horse died the other day. I guess it wasnt much +effort for him. If it had been he wouldnt have done it. + +They got a book they call Drill Regulations Field and Light. Thats about +as censible as it is all the way through. For instance they say that +when the command for action is given one man jumps for the wheel and +another springs for the trail an another leaps for the muzzle. I guess +the fellow that rote the regulations thought we was a bunch of +grass hoppers. + +[Illustration: "I DONT LIKE ANY SARGEANT"] + +[Illustration: "I DONT CARE MUCH FOR HORSES, THEY FEELS THE SAME WAY +ABOUT ME"] + +Well I got to quit now an rite a bunch of other girls. Thanks again for +the box although it was so busted that it wasnt much good but that +dont matter. + + Yours till you here otherwise, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Todays Thanksgivin. Im thankful things aint no worse though Max Glucos +what lives on the next cot says they couldnt be. Cheery an bright to the +last. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Every man gets ateen ounces of Turky on Thanksgivin. All to himself, +Mable. The sargent says the commitee on Hays and Beans at Washington +decides that. Mines inside. Im most to full for expreshun as the poets +say. We had a great dinner. Soup an turky, dressin, crambury sause an +pie an smashed potatoes. All in one plate. I wish you could have heard +how the fellos enjoyed it Mable. I know now why they call the +turkys gobblers. + +Thanksgivin is a holiday. All a fello has to do on a holiday in the +artillery is to feed the horses an give em a drink an smooth em out an +take em for a walk an then feed em an smooth em out an feed em an give +em a drink. It makes a fello feel like givin back a dollar out of his +pay at the end of the month. + +[Illustration: "MAX GLUCOS WHAT LIVES ON THE NEXT COT"] + +[Illustration: "SMITH ARE YOU LAFFIN AT ME?"] + +The horses has the softest of anyone, Mable. They dont even have to get +up for breakfast in the morning. We bring it to em in a little bag +filled with cereul. You tie this on there face. I guess they aint never +been fed before the war broke out. When they see you comin they start +jumpin round like starvin sailurs. I dont guess they like cereul. I +wouldnt ether three times a day. I thought theyd give em somethin +different Thanksgivin but not a chance. There always hopin it ull be +somethin else I guess. When they see the same old thing they get sore +and try to step on your feet. + +The sargents stand way behind an say "Go on in. They wont hurt you." An +then when they land on your corn they say "Thats to bad. You didnt do it +right." I dont like sargents any better than horses. + +An I dont kno as Im going to like the Captin much better ether. The +other day I got laffin while I was standin in line. Just laffin to +myself. Not disturbin nobody. The Captin turns round an says "Smith are +you laffin at me?" I says no sir an he says "Well what else was there to +laff at?" Thats the kind of a fello he is. I didn't sass him back or +nothin, Mable. Just looked at him an made him feel cheap. I saw him +again in the afternoon. Course I didnt salute. He says "What do you mean +by not salutin?" I told him I thought he was mad. Im glad Im not his +wife, Mable. You never know how to take a fello like that. + +If I hadnt knowed they needed me Id have given him two weaks notise on +the spot. Duty before pleasure though. Thats me all over. + +We took the guns out to drill the other day. The Captin was talkin about +indirect firin. Thats the way he is. Nothin straight forward about him. +I asked the sargent about it. He said indirect firin was where you shot +at one thing an aimed at another. I hate to butt in Mable but it didnt +seem right. I says I seen the Indien girl in the circus shoot the spots +out of a card over her shoulder but wouldnt it be more censible to cut +out the trick stuff till we was more used to the thing. You cant argue +with sargents, though. + +Day after tomorrows inspecshun. They do it every Saturday. Thats another +thing Im thankful for. Theres only one Saturday a weak. We pull +everything out an pile it on our cots. Then the Captin an the Sargent +comes in. Every time its the same. He says "Thats very dirty Smith +wheres your other shirt." An I say "I aint got none, sir." An he says +"Sargent make a note of that." An then the Sargent rites somethin in a +little book. Next time just the same. The Captin says wheres my shirt an +the sargent makes a note. I guess theres somethin in the drill +regulations what makes him say that cause I aint got no other +shirt yet. + +Well Mable Im gettin hungry again now. Guess Ill have to stop an buy a +couple of pies. We dont get nothin to eat for an hour yet. + + yours till the ice cracks in the pale, + _Bill_. + +P.S. I had to borrow a stamp for this letter. I went down town yesterday +an spent my last sent on a money belt. Its a good one though. + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Rainin today. No drill so Im going to rite you. If I dont get no +exercise I go all to pieces. Im back from the artillery into the +infantry. Captin an I had different ideas about runnin things. One of us +had to leave. Hed been there longest. I left. Hot headed. Thats me +all over. + +Were doin baynut drill now. I cant say nothin about it. Its not for +wimens ears. We have one place where we hit the Hun in the nose an rip +all the decorashuns offen his uniform all in one stroke. Then theres +another where you give him a shave an a round hair cut an end by +knocking his hat over his eyes. Then the wiperzup come over with a lot +of bums an do the dirty work. I an the rest of the fellos go ahead an +take another trench. I havnt been able to find out yet where we take it. + +Its all worked out cientifick. The fello who doped it out had some bean. +The principul of the thing is to get the other fello an not let him get +you. If the allys bad doped out some skeme like this the war would have +been over now. There wouldnt have been no Huns left. It takes us Uncle +Sammies. Eh Mable? + +[Illustration: "ONE DAY IT'S OUR TEETH"] + +There gettin up a thrift campain now Mable. First they sell us enough +Liberty Bonds to buy a brand new army an let us go home. Then they cram +a lot of insurence at you what wont never do you no good after your +killed. Then I guess they found that someone still had a couple of +dollars left so they made us send that back home. Now there gettin up a +thrift campain Mable. They dont want us to spend our money foolish sos +we can buy the Singer Buildin or a Ford or somethin like that when the +war is over. + +Some one say that we was the highest payed army in the world. Besides +all this money we get our bed and board. I guess they dont know that in +the army bed and board mean the same thing. Eh, Mable? Still the +same old Bill. + +There always inspectin us. I feel like a piece of prize beef. They never +inspect a man all the way through. I guess the inspecters get payed by +the day durin the duration of the inspecshun. One day its our teeth an +another our heart an another our lungs. The other day we was all lined +up in the company street and the Sargent says "Inspecshun arms." I lays +down my gun an rolls up my sleves. Just to show you how tecknickle the +army is he didnt want to see my arms at all but my gun. Hows a fello +goin to tell, Mable? + +I went up for thirds at breakfast the other morning as usual an the +cook said "You seem to like coffee." Right away without stoppin to think +or nothin I says back "Yes thats the reason Im willin to drink so much +hot water to get some." Eh, Mable? + +Went to a dance the other night and met some swell girls. I made em all +laff. I says I guess I got the instinks of a soldier all right. The +minit I smell powder Im right on my tows. + +I havent been very well lately. I guess Ill cut out eatin at meals. It +spoils my appitite for the rest of the day. I kno youll be glad to kno +my feet aint hurtin so much. Remember me to the hired girl and +your mother. + + Yours through the winter, + _Bill_. + + +[Illustration: "REMEMBER ME TO YOUR MOTHER"] + + + +_Chair Mable:_ + +Thats French. I didnt expect you to kno what it meant though. The +Y.M.C.A. are learnin me French now. I only had three lessons so far but +I can talk it pretty good. You know how quick I am at pickin up any kind +of trick stuff like that. The only difference between French and English +is that there pretty near alike but the French dont pronounce there +words right. + +When I use French words Ill underline them. Thatll give you some idea of +the languige. + +When we get voila as the French say for over there itll come handy to be +able to sit down and have a dosy dos with them poilus. (That means chew +the rag in English.) A poilus Mable is a French peasant girl an they say +that they are very belle. (Now don't mispronounce things an get sore +till you know. You pronounce that like the bell in push button. It means +good lookers.) There crazy about us fellos. They call us Sammies. They +named one of there rivers for us. You have heard of the battle of the +Samme. But I dont suppose you have. + +They have been learnin us a lot about gas at attacks lately. These are +not the kind your father has. These are more like the open places in the +street on 6th avenoo. Only in the army when anything like this happens +they give you a gas mask. A gas mask is like a cracked ice bag with +windos in it. An in the front they got a cigaret holder. I always heard +how the French was cigaret feends. I guess it got so bad they put in the +holders sos they could smoke during a gas attack. + +Im goin to put on my mask an have my pictur took en cabinet. Thats +nothin to do with furniture, Mable. Its the French for what its goin to +look like when its done. + +The gas fello said the other day that gas was perfectly safe cause you +could always tell when it was comin. You could hear it escape or see it +or smell it. The only trouble was, he said, that when the gas started +the machine guns made so much noise you couldnt hear it an it always +came at night sos you couldnt see it and when you smelled it it was most +to late to bother anyhow. I been thinkin that over. Seems to me theres a +joker in the contract somewhere. Ask your father to read it over an see +if it sound droit (thats French for right) to him. Better still. Ask +Higgins the grocer to give it the once over. Hes got a grand tete as the +French say when they mean brains. + +[Illustration: "NOT THE KIND YOUR FATHER HAS"] + +[Illustration: "I WEAR THEM EVERY NIGHT OVER MY UNIFORM"] + +Its getting frappayer and frappayer down here (meaning colder and +colder). It got so cold that I put on those sox that you nitted me. I +guess I wont any more though. I guess my feet are going to look like +corderoy the rest of my life. Youll understand no hard feelin I know. +You know how delicate my feet is an how I cant afford to prennez a +hazard with them. + +Thank your mother for the flannel pajammas. I wear them every night over +my uniform. I got to quit now an read some pictur post cards that some +girls sent me. + + Good night + (or as the French say Robe de Nuit). + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I havnt rote for some time because I been made an officer.--a corperal. +I admit I deserved it. I didnt apply for it or nothin though. They just +come and told me. + +Bein corperal means I dont have nothin more to do with details. An at +the same time I got more details than ever. Thats a sort of a joke that +us military men understand. You couldnt get it probably Mable. Its +tecknickle. + +Yesterday being Sunday me an a couple of other officers borrowed a +couple of mules from the stable Sargent an went for a ride. We saw a +cabin that they said was a moonshiners hut but it was broad daylight so +you couldnt tell of course. + +Its still cold. I wish thed hurry up and issue those gas masks. Theyd +come in handy these cold nights. The sargent told me that I was goin to +do interior guard tonight. I guess Im lucky to get indoor work +this wether. + +[Illustration: "I BEEN MADE AN OFFICER"] + +[Illustration: "SOMEBODIED SET A TRUNK ON THE TURKY"] + +You never saw such a place for roomors. These are army roomors. They +havnt got nothin to do with the kind your mother used to take in. We +here that were going next week an that were not goin at all but were +goin to be used to guard the Chicago stock yards. Then we here that all +the mounted men are goin to be dismounted an all the dismounted men are +goin to be mounted. An that the rest of us are goin to be made cooks. An +we here that all non coms are goin to be abolished. Its awful hard to +tell what is goin on. + +I got your Thanksgivin box two days ago. It was only ten days late. I +guess the post office must have made some mistake. Things is usually +later than that. It was in good shape except that the insides had been +squoze out of the mince pie and somebodied set a trunk on the turky. Of +course I divided it up with my squad. Big hearted. Thats me all over. Im +awful popular with my men. They offen say they wish Id be made a Major +or somethin. My men ate up all the stuff. All I saved for my self was +the white meat an half a mince pie. It certainly tastes good in the +field. Of course we aint in nobodies field. Thats a military expreshun. +I cant explain it. + +I got to quit now an post a guard. At the same time Ill post this letter +to you. Thats a joke Mable. Im sorry this letter cant be longer but as a +man rises in the army he gets less an less time to hisself. Olive oil. + + Yours faithlessly, + _Bill_. + + + +_Mon Cherry Mable:_ + +Thats the way the French begin there love letters. Its perfectly proper. +I would have rote you sooner but me an my fountin pens been froze for a +week. Washington will never know how lucky he was that he got assigned +to valley Forge instead of here. It got us out of drill for a couple of +days. Thats somethin. I guess Id rather freeze than drill. Its awful +when they make you do both though. + +Two of my men has gone home on furlos. Me bein corperal I took all there +blankets. The men didnt like it but I got a squad of men to look out for +an my first duty is to keep fit. Duty first. Thats me all over. I got so +many blankets now that I got to put a book mark in the place I get in at +night or Id never find it again. + +We spent most of our time tryin to find somethin to burn up in the Sibly +stoves. A sibly stove, Mable, is a piece of stove pipe built like the +leg of a sailurs trowsers. Old man Sibly must have had a fine mind to +think it out all by hisself. They say he got a patent on it. I guess +that must have been a slack winter in Washington. The government +gives us our wood but I guess that the man who decided how much it +was goin to give us had an office in the Sandwitch Islands. I says the +other day that if theyd dip our allowance in fusfrus wed at least have +matches, eh Mable? Im the same old Bill, Mable. Crackin jokes an keepin +everybody laffin when things is blackest. + +[Illustration: "BUILT LIKE THE LEG OF A SAILURS TROWSERS"] + +I was scoutin round for wood today an burned up those military hair +brushes your mother gave me when we came away. I told her theyd come in +mighty handy some day. + +They say a fello tried to take a shouer the other day. Before he could +get out it froze round him. Like that fello in the bible who turned into +a pillo of salt. They had to break the whole thing offen the pipe with +him inside it an stand it in front of the stove. When it melted he +finished his shouer an said he felt fine. Thats how hard were +gettin, Mable. + +I bought a book on Minor Tackticks the other day. Thats not about +underaged tacks that live on ticks as you might suppose, Mable. Its the +cience of movin bodies of men from one place to another. I thought it +might tell of some way of gettin the squad out of bed in the morning but +it doesnt. All the important stuff like that is camooflaged sos the +Germans wont get onto it. + +Camooflage is not a new kind of cheese Mable. Its a military term. +Camooflage is French for cauliflower which is a disguised cabbage. It is +the same thing as puttin powder on your face instead of washin it. You +deceive Germans with it. For instance you paint a horse black and white +stripes an a German comes along. He thinks its a picket fence an goes +right by. Or you paint yourself like a tree an the Germans come an drink +beer round you an tell military sekruts. + +Well I guess its time to say Mery Xmas now Mable. I guess it wont be a +very Mery Xmas withut me there, eh? Cheer up cause Im goin to think of +you whenever I get time all day long. Im pretty busy nowdays. I got to +watch the men work. It keeps a fello on the jump all the time. I like it +though, Mable. Thats me all over. Isnt it? + +Dont send me nothin for Christmas, Mable. I bought somethin for you but +Im not going to tell you cause its a surprize. All that I can say is +that it cost me four eighty seven ($4.87) which is more than I could +afford. An its worth a lot more. But you know how I am with money. A +spend drift. So dont send me anything please although I need an electric +flash light, some cigarets, candy an one of them sox that you wear on +your head. Ill spend my last sent on anyone I like but I dont want to +be under no obligations. Independent. Thats me all over. + +[Illustration: "YOU PAINT A HORSE BLACK AND WHITE STRIPES"] + +You might read this part to your mother. I dont want nothin from her +ether. + +Rite soon an plain Mable, cause I dont get much chance to study. + + yours till the south is warm, + _Bill._ + +Your mothers present cost me three seventy seven ($3.77). + + + +_Joli Dame:_ + +Dont get that confused with Tinkers Dam, Mable. Tinkers Dam is +tecknickle an aint even French. I wish you knew more about these forin +languiges. I always herd a fello could express himself better in French +than anything else. Thats because nobody can understand him an he can +say anything he wants. + +The Christmas holidays is over. I spent mine doin Kitchen police. The +only thing what pealed for me Christmas morning was potatoes an the only +thing what rung out was dish cloths. But I guess you aint familiar +enough with the poets to get that, Mable. It shows that I can be funny +an bright though even under adversary conditions. Kitchen police dont +explain what I do very well. I dont walk a beet or carry a club or +arrest nobody or nothin. I just--well I wish that hired girl of yours +could come down an do Kitchen police for a couple of days. She wouldnt +be quitten as regular as she does. + +[Illustration: "I SPENT MINE DOIN KITCHEN POLICE"] + +[Illustration: "I WISH THAT HIRED GIRL COULD COME DOWN"] + +We celebrated Christmas by sleepin till a quarter to seven instead of +hap past six. Only they forgot to tell the fello what blows the horn an +he blew it at hap past six anyway. Imagine if anybody home had told me I +could sleep till a quarter of seven Christmas morning. I guess you +know what Id a told him, eh, Mable? + +Theres a fello in town what says he'll send flowers anywhere you want by +telegraph. I was goin to send you some for Christmas morning. Then I +figgered it was a silly idea. In the first place theyd get all smashed +on the way. An then you cant get enough flowers in one of them little +envelopes to make one good smell. Nothin if not right. Thats me all +over, Mable. + +I had dinner in town with Max Glocoses mother. Hes a fello in our tent. +Shes a nice enough old lady but she aint military, Mable. We was walkin +down the street before dinner an salutin officers so fast it looked like +we was scratchin our forheds. An every time we saluted she bowed. I +didnt say nothin cause after all she was payin for the dinner. Later on +though she says. "I think its fine you boys has made so many friends +among the officers cause I think there such nice men." Can you beat it +Mable? An when she went home she sent Max an officers hat cord cause she +said she didnt think it would fade as quick as that old blue thing he +was wearin. + +I like to forgot to thank you for the Christmas presents you an your +mother sent. Im glad you minded what I said about not wantin nothin +although Id sent you two presents what was worth more than I could +afford ($4.87). As I said to Joe Loomis who was in the tent when your +presents came, it aint what the thing cost or wether you could ever use +it for anything. Its the thought. Sentiment before pleasure. Thats me +all over, Mable. + +Thanks for the red sweter, Mable. We aint allowed to use them. But you +dont want to feel bad about that cause I got lots of others an didnt +need it anyway. An tell your mother thanks for the preserves an cake. I +think thats what they was. They must have packed them between a steam +roller and a donkey engin from the looks. Joe Loomis picked out most of +the glass an tried some. Hed eat anything, that fello, Mable. He said it +must have been pretty good when it started. Tell that to your mother. I +know it will please her. + +I got so many presents from other girls an the like that its kind of +hard to remember if you sent me anything else. If you did just tell me +in your next letter and Ill thank you when I rite again. + +I hope my presents arrived all right. I guess you'll like em. You ought +to at the price. As I says to the girl what sold em when she says she +didnt have nothin cheaper "Nothins to good for where there goin." Isnt +that tipical of me, Mable? + +Well, Mable, perhaps next year Ill send you a Dutch helmit maybe. It +aint no use wishin you a happy New Year cause I know how itll be with me +away an your father what he is. + + Yours regardless, + _Bill._ + + + +_Mon Croquette:_ + +Thats not the kind with the evenin dress tooth pick in the top, Mable. A +croquette is a French society woman. Study these letters of mine an see +how I use the words. You ought to be able to pick up enough French to +understand me talkin it when I come home. + +Well, Mable, New Years are behind us again. Once more I made a lot of +revolushuns. Its no use sayin there wasnt nothin for me to change. Youre +prejudiced. I can see falts where others cant. Underneath a plesant +exterior I am made of sterner stuff, as the poets say. I have gave up +frivolity with the exception of goin into town once in a while to take a +bath. Im strong for this sanity stuff under any conditions. + +Im makin a study of war. Im goin to tell you a sekrut. Im workin on a +plan to end the war. I got thinkin, as I will, an it struck me that no +one had gone into this at all. There all figurin how to go on with it +but none of em how to quit it. Dont say nothin till I get it worked out. +I guess you always knew youd here from me when I got goin, eh Mable? + +[Illustration: "A CROQUETTE IS A FRENCH SOCIETY WOMAN"] + +I also resolved not to put off till tomorrow what I can do today. (Old +motto.) For instance if I can get out of a fatigue today whats the use +of waitin till tomorrow. The same with sleepin and restin. + +I cut out cigarets to. I was gettin to be a feend. Got so I had to lite +one whenever I got thinkin. I was usin up most a package a day. Nervous +an high strung. Thats me all over, Mable. I smoke cigars an a pipe +instead. A fello with an active mind has got to have somethin. You +remember what the fello what trained the high school show said when he +saw me act. Temperature. Thats me. Of course its harder to borrow pipe +tobacco and cigars but Im tryin to show the fellos how bad cigarets is. +Pretty soon Ill be all O.K. again. + +I got that watch your father sent me for a New Years present. Tell him +thanks very much an not to feel bad because he forgot to send me a +Christmas present cause this wipes out the debt entirely. He said it was +a military watch an the latest thing out. I guess they call it a +military watch cause it works two hours and stops four. Its the latest +thing round here. If I answered call by that watch Id be fallin in for +retreat round taps. Its so slow it cant stop quick. + +I got the blacksmith over at headquarters company workin on it now. Hes +an awful good man. He was a plumber in civilian life. Thats why they +made him a blacksmith when he joined the army. He says hes goin to fix +it sos Ill never be bothered with it again. + +I got asked to a dinner New Years night. I sat next to a Colonels wife. +It was kind of embarassing at first. I put her easy though. I says whose +that funny lookin old bird sittin across the room with a head like an +egg. Hes very chic isnt he? (Thats a French joke Mable.) She says "Thats +my husband." As soon as Id stopped laffin I started right in an told her +the history of every man in the company beginnin with the As. You know +me when I get started. I didnt give her no chanst to get embarassed. +When she started to say somethin I just kept right on talkin just to +show her that bein a Colonels wife she wasnt expected to make no effort. + +I made good, Mable. I guess you kno I would. After dinner I heard her +ask somebody who invited me. Then she said somethin like "Hed ought to +be known better." Never miss a chance. Thats me all over. It may mean +promoshun or anything. It may be that shell have me sent to Fort Silly +to learn somethin. You cant tell. + +[Illustration: "I SAT NEXT TO A COLONELS WIFE"] + +I cant think of anything more that you would understand. Dont show these +letters to kno one. There is to many spize around. I suppose you are +awful lonesome without me. I dont get much time to be lonesome what with +drillin an goin out somewhere. As soon as things get shook down a bit I +hope to get more time to miss you. Hows your fathers liver? + + Au Riviere, + _Bill_. + + + +_Mon Ami:_ + +Sounds like a scourin pouder, doesnt it, Mable? As a matter of fact its +the way a French lady talks to a fello shes awful fond of. + +Im not an officer any more. I was just goin to resine anyways. The +Captins been watchin me rise an he didnt like it. He knew I knew more +than him as well as me. Always askin me questions. Id always tell him +cause I knew he had a wife and children in Jersey City an so I was sorry +for them. Soft. Thats me all over. But the other day when I was on guard +he says, "Corperal, whats the General orders?" an I says, "Captin if you +dont kno them now you never will and I wouldnt be doin no service to my +country if I told you." Cold but civil, Mable. You kno how I can be. + +The Captin just felt cheap an walked away. I kind of felt sorry for him. +Almost told him so once or twice. Then I went on guard again. I go on +guard a lot. The men like me to be corperal of the guard because when +the relief goes out I take all their blankets an go right to sleep +instead of standin outside an watchin them freeze. Men hate to be +watched while they are freezin. + +[Illustration: "MEN HATE TO BE WATCHED WHILE THEY ARE FREEZIN"] + +But I happened to be outside for some reason, goin to dinner I guess, an +I saw the Colonel coming. I says "Turn out the guard." (No one really +turns em out, Mable. They come out themselves.) The Colonel sees who it +is an waves an says "Never mind the guard, Corperal." So I thanks him an +goes back to the company an goes to bed. + +As soon as the Captin sees that the Colonel is savin me up for over +there he gets sore. His plan has been to kill me before we left here. He +said he was goin to reduce me. Thats not the same way your father +reduces when he cuts out beer with his meals an sits in a Turkish all +day. I never said you will or you wont. Just waited till he got outside +an thumbed my nose at him. High spirited. Thats me all over. + +An English officer came over the other day an told us all about the war. +He didnt quite finish it cause he only had three quarters of an hour. +They was quite a few things I didnt kno even at that. He said that the +heavy artillery was commanded by the C.C.O.D.A. an the light artillery +by the C.O.A. An theres a special N.C.O. who has nothin to do but look +after the S.A.A. Just imagine, Mable. I wish Id studied chemistree more +when I was in school. It would make things a lot easier for me now. +Then he said that a man always got into his O.O. to observe the action +of the 75s. These English are always great for dress an that +formal stuff. + +Im glad there tellin us this before we go over. It would have been awful +embarassing to have tried to observe the action of the 75s in my B.V.Ds. +I asked him if they had any trouble with the B.P.O.Es. When he left he +said "Cheero." Without winkin a hair I says "Beevo." Same old Bill, +eh Mable? + +They said the other day that my name was on a list to go to school an +learn all about liason. I said there wasnt much use in there doin that +cause I was pretty well up on that stuff. At home, I says, I had a +reputashun for a devil with the wimen. Nobody knows better than you, eh +Mable? I guess thats a little over your head though, Mable. I try to be +as simple as I can. If Im not just tell me. + +Im ritin this letter with my shoes off. I hope youll excuse my bein so +informal but Im havin the old trouble with my feet. They never been +right since that winter I taught you to dance. I went to the doctor with +them an he said to keep offen them as much as I could. So they put me to +work scrubbin the mess shack on my hans and nees. I bet if a fello had +both legs shot off theyd prop you up against the wall an put you +peelin onions. + +[Illustration: "I HAD A REPUTASHUN FOR A DEVIL WITH THE WIMEN"] + +I got to quit now. They got a thing called retreat they have every +night. I always like to be there just to show the Captin Im behind him +regardless. + +Im sendin you my pictur in a uniform pointin to an American flag. Its +kind of simbolical the man said, if you know what that is. I thought +youd like to put it on the mantle in a conspikuous place sos to have +somethin to be proud of when your girl friend comes in to talk. Id ask +you for your pictur only I havnt got much room for that kind of thing +down here. + + yours exclusively + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +Everyone round here is goin to school now so they can be speshulists. +Not the kind your mother goes to, Mable. A speshulist only does one +thing. I been doin everything round here ever since I came. I was gettin +sick of it. I went to the top sargent an says I guessed Id be a +speshulist to. He said all right hed make me a food speshulist. Said Id +have to go into it pretty deep. I been into it up to my elbows in the +kitchen ever since. Never trust sargents. Least of all top sargents. If +it keeps on like this there wont be nobody to do the actual fightin but +me, Mable. Its too much responsibilety for one man. Suppose I was to get +sick or somethin. + +An then a bunch of fellos went away to lern to be officers. That kind of +struck my fancy it bein about the only thing I hadnt done round here. I +went to the Captin an told him I thought Id go to. He said I could go +to, and then he added somethin. + +[Illustration: "IT SEEMED TO DEPRES THEM AWFUL"] + +He said a company was built up somethin like a man. There was the brain, +which was the officers, an then some was the muscle an some was the +bone. He said I seemed to be pretty well fitted for my part by nature so +he wouldnt change me. Ive always been strong ever since I was a +kid, Mable. + +Ive rote a pome. I sent it to the Divisun paper. They wouldnt print it +cause they said it was so real that it might depres the men. I guess +they was right cause I read it to the fellos in the tent an it seemed to +depres them awful. Im ritin it to you. Its about the war. Youll probably +notice that yourself if you read it careful. Here it is. + + + I + + Here the thunder of the guns + Smashin down the German Huns + An the sticky pools of gory blood + Soakin up the oozie sod + The rushin, roarin, shreekin boom + Of bullets crashin thru the gloom + + + II + + Listen to those grate bums bust + On the quiverin Hunnish crust + Listen to the shreekin, moanin + Swearin, yellin, gruntin, groanin + That comes to us across the trenches + All mixed up with grusome stenches + + + III + + Biff, an from there hellish lare + The shreeks of Germans rent the air. + Bloody lims lie on the ground. + Bits of Huns go flyin round. + Bang! And through the cannons roar + Is plainly herd the splashin gore. + + + IV + + But this cannot go on for long, + Cause Uncle Sam is comin strong. + An when we charge the German line + We'll chuck the dam thing in the Rine. + An blood an slauter, rape an gore + In Bel Le France will rain no more. + +Aint that terrible, Mable? I read it to one fello an he said it made him +absolutely sick. He said he didn't see how I could rite it without +gettin sick myself. Just between me an you Mable I did come pretty near +being once or twice when I was ritin it. + +[Illustration: "IF I CATCH ONE OF THOSE AILIN ENEMIES WINDIN UP YOUR +VICTROLA"] + +Most of all thats confidential but I dont care if you read it to some of +your friends just to give em a good idea of what war is. Some of the +things aint very nice of course. If your ritin big stuff though you +got to put in everything that comes into your head, or else you lose the +punch. I think the ends the best. A lot of fellos has said that. We +ought to have more of that. It gets the slackers. + +The Rine is a German river where they make wine near Berlin, Mable. + +You keep menshuning a fello named Broggins in your letters. Now I aint +got a spark of jelusy in my nature. Big. Thats me all over, Mable. But I +warn you frankly. If I ever catch one of those ailin enemies windin up +your victrola Ill kick him out of the house. Thats only fair. It isn't +that I care a snap. Theres plenty of girls waitin for me. Its just the +principul of the thing. + +Dont think for a minit that I care. I just menshun it cause I couldnt +think of nothin else to say. + + Yours till you here otherwise, + _Bill._ + + + +_Pom de mon oie:_ + +You say that like oie yoy in Yiddish. It means apple of my eye. I never +saw an apple in nobodys eye, Mable, but I guess thats some +French custom. + +Great news, Mable. A fello whats got a friend in the audience department +in Washington just told me the wars goin to end about the 15th of Feb. +Dont say nothin to nobody about it. It might look as if I was gettin +mixed up in politiks. I put in for a furlo on the 5th tho. Then I wont +have to come back, eh Mable? Ill bet your glad. Its great to think of +gettin into a place where you cant see through the walls and there aint +three inches of mud on the floor. An think of not havin to tie the doors +together when you come in or crawl underneath em on your hans and nees +and not havin to put everything you own in the world under the bed. But +I guess you dont care as much about these things as I will. + +This would be a good trainin camp for artik explorers. I bet the fello +that picks out the camps ether owns a cold storage plant in civil life +or else they do it by mail order. It got so cold the other night the +silver in the thermometer disappeared. It aint been seen since. + +[Illustration: "STUCK MY HEAD OUT OF THE BLANKETS"] + +We got a comical guy in the tent. Bill Huggins. Me an hims a pair. Keep +everybody laffin all the time. Bill likes things hot about as well as +me. Every nite he fills the Sibly stove so full of wood that he has to +hammer the last piece in. It gets so hot that it jumps up and down like +a mad monkey. Thats the way Siblys do when they get awful hot. Were not +bothered by that much though. + +We got another guy thats a fresh air feend. His name is Angus MacKenzie. +Hes Scotch. Hes so close himself that he has to have lots of air or hed +smother. Every nite he pulls up the side of the tent by his bed. No one +likes fresh air in its place better than me, Mable, but when its as +fresh as this air is its place is outside. + +I wake up in the nite rolled into a ball like a porkypine. Theys things +in the middle of my back like his stickers. If I dont move I get cramps. +If I do, I freeze. All around the place where Im lyin is as warm as a +park bench in winter. Sometimes I forget and push my feet down. +That's awful. + +One night I thought I heard the horn and stuck my head out of the +blankets. It was Angus with his head and one arm outside snorin. Can you +beat that. I bet he swims in the ice all winter home and has his pictur +in the Sunday paper. I froze my ear before I could get my head back. +Thats the kind of a fello he is. + +Its awful cold in the mornin. They blow three calls. The first is just +for the slow guys. I can make it nice from the march if I dont take too +many close off. Thats no temtashun. One guy jumps up just before +assembly and makes a lot of fuss like hes gettin dressed. He dont fool +nobody. The only thing he takes off at nite is his hat. Some says that +falls off when he gets into bed. + +Angus gets up every mornin in his BVDs. I think his skin is furlined. +You can hear him smashin the ice in the pale with a hair brush outside. +Then you can tell hes washin by the noise he makes like a busted steam +pipe. Then he comes smashin into the tent leavin the door open and wipes +the ice off en his face with somebody elses towel an says gosh thats +great. I hate that kind of a fello. + +Bill Huggins cleaned the stove with his towel last week sos everything +would be neet for inspecshun. Angus got hold of it in the dark next +mornin. Gee, youd haft laft, Mable. + +[Illustration: "WHEN I LOOKED IN THE TIN MIRROR I THOUGHT I WAS +STARVIN"] + +I got the little tin mirror you sent, Mable. Its unbreakable all right. +Bill Huggins got so mad at it he tried to break it and couldnt. The +first time I looked in it I got an awful start. I thought I was starvin. +I looked like one of them picturs of hungry Indiens that the mishunaries +show you just before they pass the plate. Bill Huggins swiped it later +and says why didnt somebody tell him he was gettin so fat cause he +couldnt go home on a furlo like that. He didnt eat nothin for three +meals and then he looked at hisseif with the mirror turned the other +way. Its like one of those Coney Island places where a fello can go in +and laff at hisself for a dime. Next time send me one that will break. + +I got to quit now and buy a couple of pies before I go to bed. I dont +sleep good less I have a little somethin on my stummick. Dont say nothin +about what I told you in the beginnin. + +Until the 15th Feb. then. + + Yours faithfully, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +The Captin aint goin to give me my furlo. Says theres an order out +against it. Someones got it in for me, Mable. I bought a wooley coat +awful cheap from Bill Huggins. Right away theres an order against em. +Angus MacKenzie sold me a pair of leather leggins for less than he paid +for them. Some bargain from Angus. The next day they issue an order that +you cant wear em. Now they hear I want to go home an put an order out +against it. If theyd only come right out an say Bill Smith were goin to +get you. Sneaky. Thats what I call it, Mable. + +Ive half a mind to transfer back to the artillery. If I transfer much +more theyll be chargin me extra fare, eh Mable? Only for me an the +Captin not bein able to agree Id never have left. I understand hes been +awful sorry since. All you have to do in artillery is to put a bullet in +the gun. It does the rest. In the infantry you got to go up and do all +the dirty work yourself. + +[Illustration: "THEY COME ROUND AND WATCH YOU EAT IT."] + +Besides Im gettin leery of these infantry fellos. There always talking +about what were goin to do to the Germans, blowin em to pieces and +slicin em up an throwin em all around the lot. I got thinkin what if +the Germans was learnin there men to do the same thing. They never seem +to figger on these things. + +An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of fellos in +a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some ones goin to +get hurt sure. + +I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if he ever +gets takin like that again not to send such a large box but-well you +explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing much better than +I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a vest as +soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he knows whats +what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before the war started +send em to the soldiers. They wont know the difference. Some wimen sent +our regiment the Baptist Review for three years back. That aint right, +Mable. They give you candy that comes by the bale. Then they come round +an watch you eat it. I bet if you walked into there place an watched +them eat theyd raise an awful holler. They make speeches to you that +youd get your money back without askin up north. They give you free +movies thats so old they look as if they was taken in the rain. + +It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter so much +as long as theres lots of it. + +Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a china +plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on me. Im awful +sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put food in it it folds +up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes months to make a good +mess kit eater. + +We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter. One of +them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your cup an half +on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess they are old +Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate splash an knocks it +squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate an knocks it the other +way. When you get it all its runnin out of one dish up your sleeve an +out of the other back into the food pans. + +Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful stupid. If +theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim on it. Then +they pour the soup on your cover. + +When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the table. It +isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as it hits. + +[Illustration: "ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"] + +You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many overcoats and +things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some fellos eats with +there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though. It makes things taste +like eatin peaches with there skins on. + +The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply Sargent +once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a spoonful of +loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and leaves a couple +of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on the next fello. Never +complain. Thats me all over. + +Well Mable I got to shine my shoes now and go and eat offen china plates +with a nigger waiter. I dont eat with a nigger waiter, Mable. Its awful +hard to explain things to you sometimes. So now I will close. + + Hoping you are the same + _Bill_ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I been thinkin of you a lot durin the last weak, Mable, havin nothin +else to do. I been in the hospital with the Bronxitis. I guess I caught +it from Joe Loomis. He comes from there. Id have rote you in bed but I +dropped my fountin pen on the floor an bent it. Im all right now. + +I got some news for you, Mable. The cook says we only drew ten days +supply of food last time. He says he guesses when we et that up well go +to France. Hes an awful smart fello the cook. Hes got a bet on that if +the allys dont buck up an win the Germans is comin out ahead. Max +Glucos, a fello in the tent, is refere. Were all eatin as fast as we +can. Perhaps we can eat it all in less than ten days. So maybe well be +gone, Mable, before I rite you from here again. + +Theres a French sargent comes round once in a while an says the war is +goin to be over quick. He ought to know cause hes been over there an +seen the whole thing. He smokes cigarets something awful an dont say +much. Thats because the poor cus cant talk much English. It must be +awful not to talk English. Think of not bein able to say nothin all +your life without wavin your arms round an then lookin it up in a +dickshunary. + +[Illustration: "HE SMOKES CIGARETS SOMETHING AWFUL"] + +I feel so sorry for these fellos that Im studiin French a lot harder sos +theyll have someone to talk to when we get over there. Im readin a book +now thats rote all in French. No English in it anywhere, Mable. A fello +told me that was the only way to talk it good. I dont understand it very +well so far. The only way I kno its French is by the picturs. Some day +Im goin to find out what the name is. Then Im goin to get the English of +it. Those are some picturs. Aint I fierce, Mable? I guess thats why I +get on with wimen so well. + +I gave up readin it out loud cause the fellos said it made em think they +was in Paris so much they got restles. I cant speak no better yet. I +guess that comes all at once at the end of the book. + +As soon as we got the hot shouers all fixed the pipes busted. So the +other day the Captin walked us all in town to take a bath. I didnt need +one much. I used my head more than most of em. Last fall when it was +warm I took as many as two a week an got away ahead of the game. I went +along though. More for the walk than anything. + +I saw the Captin didnt make no move to take a bath hisself. I thought he +might be shy. He dont mix very well with the fellos. I felt sorry for +him. Everyone else was laffin an throwin things with him standin off an +noone throwin a thing at him. I went up an says "Aint you goin to take a +bath this winter to, Captin?" Just jolly, Mable, that all. I says, "You +dont want to mind the bunch. They dont care a bit. There as dirty as you +are anyway. Probably more." An I bet they were Mable cause I aint seen +the Captin do a stroke of work since we come here. Just stands round +givin orders. + +I says, "If noone wont lend you a towel you can use mine. I was just +goin to have it washed anyway." He got awful red and embarassed Mable. I +thought he was goin to choke. Hes awful queer. + +Just like the other mornin he calls me over an says, "Smith, my +orderlies sick. You can shine my boots this mornin." He said it like Id +been beggin him to for a month. An then he says, "Smith you can lite the +fire in my stove." He had me thinkin he was doin me favors. He said I +might put some oil on his boots if I wished. I says that would be a +great treat an I wished he wouldnt be so kind or the fellos would think +he was playin favorites. I guess he didnt here me Mable cause hed just +gone out. I said it anyway. I didnt care if he wasnt there. Spunky. +Thats me all over. + +[Illustration: "I POURED SOME OIL OUT OF HIS LAMP"] + +I couldnt find no oil for his boots anywhere, Mable, so I poured some +out of his lamp. An then I dont think that suited him. Queer fello +the Captin. + +I keep herein more about this fello Broggins. I suppose he belongs to +the Home Guards an wares his uniform round in the evenin. An I suppose +he has an American flag on his ritin paper. It dont mean nothin in my +life. I aint goin to put up no arguments or get nasty like most fellos +would. Dignity. Thats me all over, Mable. Let me tell you though if I +ever come home and find him shinin his elbos on the top of your baby +grand Ill kick him down the front steps if I only have one leg to do +it with. + +Im ritin this in the Y.M.C.A. in the afternoon cause Im goin on guard +tonite. I dont see why they dont make it a permenant detail and be done +with it. Someone said the top sargents a man of one idea. I guess Im the +idea. I didnt go out to drill this afternoon. I didnt say nothin to the +Sargent though cause sargents have an idea that if they dont get a lot +of fellos to go out to drill with them they dont look popular. I got to +go new sos to get in my tent before they come from drill. + + As ever + on guard, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +I would have rote sooner but I had such a cold I couldnt say nothin for +most a weak. + +Well Mable, we et all the food like the cook said but we aint in France +yet. I guess he aint got as many brains as he said he had. Everyone is +sore at him cause we didnt kick at none of his food for more than a weak +thinkin that when wed et it all wed go away. He thinks its funny an says +"Do youse guys think this war is a Cooks tour?" I hate fellos what tries +to get out of things by bein smart. + +Everythings covered with mud includin me. I seem to attract mud like I +was a maggot, Mable. Yesterday I spent all the afternoon shinin up for +guard sos to be the Colonels orderly. Then I step out of the tent and +flui. The Sargent says, "Smith dont you know enuff not to go on guard +lookin like that?" + +I even got mud in my hair. Max Glucos says when he combs his its like +rakin out a garden. From what I seen of him though I dont see how he +found out. + +[Illustration: "I EVEN GOT MUD IN MY HAIR"] + +[Illustration: "THE WATER COMES THROUGH ON ME"] + +Its pourin rain an awful cold. Its so cold that the tooth past rolls +right offen your brush in the morning. The Captin has a cold in his +nose. He says he wont take the men out in such bad wether as today. +Taint nothin gainst him Mable but I hope he has a cold all winter. + +Theres a hole in the tent over my cot where the water comes through on +me. I put a slicker over me last nite. The water made puddles in it. +Then when I turned over they spilt out into my shoes. This had me +guessin Mable till finally I put Max Glucoses shoes there instead of +mine. Angus MacKenzie had so many holes over his cot that it looked like +one of those safety fire sprinklers. He got up last nite and rigged his +shelter half sos the water hit it an run down onto the next cot. Hes a +brite fello, Angus, even if he is a forener. + +The other day he had some medecine for a cold. It says on the bottle +that it was 17 per cent alcohol. He drank the whole thing right down sos +nobody couldnt get hold of it. It made him awful sick but he says thats +because he isnt used to it for such a long time. Me an hims goin down +next week to put in a stock of tonics. Its awful hard to rite letters, +Mable. Somebodys always fallin over your feet or draggin something wet +over the paper if youve got a cot near the door like mine is. An when +you get goin finally at about the fourth try some sargent always comes +in with a list and makes you check up something. + +Sometimes I go over to the Y.M.C.A., Mable. But as soon as you get ritin +a bald headed fello jumps up an says "Now fellos well all sing." All the +fellos whats ritin looks up an says "Aw one thing and another." I dont +know who the bald headed fello is. They got one in every Y.M.C.A. They +all look about alike. I guess there a regular issue. Theys always a +bunch of fellos what dont seem to kno why they came. They all start +singin. Then I cant rite no more or do nothin. So I come home an go to +bed. Independent. Thats me all over, Mable. + +Most of the taxis is swalowed up in the mud. Theys only two or three +runnin now. Only the big strong fellos can get to town. The cook says +its the old theory of the arrival of the fittest. But I guess you dont +know nothin about cience, Mable. When I go to town I wrap my blouze in a +newspaper. If they know your goin they give you a list of things to get +that looks like a Chinese Message to Congress. By the time you go to +come home you got so many bundles you look like one of those fellos in +the Funny Papers. Everyone stands in the square lookin like a hat rack +waitin for the three taxis to come along. When they see one they rush +it like they do in the movies when the milunares cars runs over the poor +fellos kid. If goin over the top is any worse than gettin under the top +of one of them things with fifty bundles an as many fellos then Sherman +didnt know many swear words, eh Mable? But thats history. I guess you +wouldnt understand. + +An then when you get home without a bath or a hair cut or the movies or +nothin, an you forgot to get that shavin soap for yourself an spent all +your money they say "Thanks Bill. Put it over there. Can you change a +ten dollar bill?" There ought to be a law against makin money in such +big numbers. + +Im glad you taken up singin lessons again. You ought to take a lot of +em. I got a favor to ask. I dont do that offen. Proud. Thats me all +over. But if that fello Broggins keeps buttin round sing for him Mable. +It aint askin much with me down here defendin you. Although I dont see +why I had to come down here to do it. + + Yours internally, + _Bill._ + + + +_Dere Mable:_ + +This is the last time I will ever take my pen in hand for you. All is +over among us. + +I felt it comin for some time Mable. Today among some letters that I got +from girls was one from a girl what knos you well. She told me all about +this fello Broggins. She says you take him around with you everywhere. +Thats the kind of a fello I thought he was, Mable, but Im surprized at +you. She says your awful fond of him hes so cute. I aint cute an aint +never pretended to be. A mans man. Thats me all over, Mable. She says +she went up to your house the other night an he was sittin in your lap +stickin his tongue out at my pictur on the mantlepiece. After that, +Mable, theres nothin to say. So I repeat, its all over among us. + +Im returnin today by parcels post the red sweter an the gloves that has +no fingers an the sox that you wear over your head an your pictur. Most +of the stuff aint been used much. The pictur has some mud on it cause I +had to keep it in the bottom of my barrak bag an my shoes came next. The +sox I cant send back cause I sold em to Joe Glucos an you wouldnt +want em now. + +[Illustration: "THE LAST TIME I WILL TAKE MY PEN IN HAND FOR YOU"] + +The stuff that you sent me to eat I havnt kept. I guess you wouldnt want +that anyway Mable. The stuff that your mother sent me Im going to keep. +She wasnt my girl an she didnt have to send all that stuff if she +didnt want to. + +As for all the things I have give you, Mable, keep em. I dont want em no +more. I aint even goin to menshun all the money Ive spent on you for +movies an sodas an the Lord knows what not. I aint the kind of a fello +to throw that up to a fello or even menshun it in no ways. I kept track +of it though in a little book. It comes to $28.27 and some odd sense. + +An I aint agoin to hold it up against you that I been savin in the bank +for most two years sos to have a little somethin towards that house with +the green blinds. An that I got somethin like $87.22 in the bank if you +can believe what that eagle beak in the cage rites in your book. All +wasted you might say, when you think of the fun I might have had with it +in the last two years. Those things we'll just forget. You seem to +have already. + +An that seasons pass I got for you for the Happyhour sos you could keep +in touch with things while I was away. Keep that and take Broggins. +Otherwise I got a hunch you aint goin to the movies as much as you +used to. + +I guess this will hit your father an mother pretty hard. They got nobody +to blame but yourself. On the other hand its goin to please some girls +that I know. So its a poor wind that dont blow nobody round as the poets +say. I guess you wont here much about the poets any more, Mable. About +all youll here is Broggins. I hate a man what talks about himself. + +I suppose he has joined the Home defence. Are you goin to have a +military weddin, Mable? + +Im kind of sorry for your father. If you have his liver on your hands +dont blame me. You know the doctor said any kind of a shock would set +him off a mile. + +An now, Mable, Im closin for the last time. It wont be no use runin to +the door when you here the postman no more cause he wont have nothin but +the gas bill. From now on the only way youll here from me is in the +papers perhaps when we get over there. + +Now Im going to ask you a favor, Mable, for old times sake. Take the +pictur I had taken pointin to the American flag an burn it up. You cant +have that to show your friends no more an I aint goin to have no flat +foot makin faces at it. I may be selfish, Mable, but a girl cant make a +cake an eat it too as the old sayin is. + +[Illustration: "IT WONT BE NO USE RUNIN TO THE DOOR"] + +Give my best to your father an mother. Tell em I simpathize with them +in there loss. Its no use ritin any more cause Im firm as the rock of +Gibber Alter. Concrete. Thats me all over, Mable. + + as ever + yours no longer + Bill + + + +WESTERN UNION +TELEGRAM + +RECEIVED AT Philopolis, N.Y. + +Miss Mable Gimp + 106 Main Street + Philopolis, N.Y. + +Dere Mable: How was I to know +Broggins was a dog. You can send +back all your stuff and make me some +more if you want to. This telegram +is costing me nine cents a word so I +cant say no more now. Thrifty. +Thats me all over, Mable. + + Bill. + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Dere Mable, by Edward Streeter + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DERE MABLE *** + +***** This file should be named 13993.txt or 13993.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/9/9/13993/ + +Produced by Rick Niles, Charlie Kirschner and the PG Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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