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diff --git a/16276.txt b/16276.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d876ab --- /dev/null +++ b/16276.txt @@ -0,0 +1,13596 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Faith, by Isabella Graham + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Power of Faith + Exemplified In The Life And Writings Of The Late Mrs. Isabella Graham. + +Author: Isabella Graham + +Release Date: July 12, 2005 [EBook #16276] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE POWER OF FAITH *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Tom Roch and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + THE POWER OF FAITH, + + EXEMPLIFIED IN + + THE LIFE AND WRITINGS + OF THE LATE + MRS. ISABELLA GRAHAM. + + + A NEW EDITION, + ENRICHED BY HER NARRATIVE OF HER HUSBAND'S DEATH, AND + OTHER SELECT CORRESPONDENCE + + + The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honor +is humility. The Lord will destroy the house of the proud; but he will + establish the border of the widow. PROV. 15:25, 33. + + + PUBLISHED BY THE + AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY, + 150 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK: + 28 CORNHILL, BOSTON. + + + + Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1843, + by JOANNA BETHUNE, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court + for the Southern District of New York. + + Copyright transferred to the American Tract Society. + + + + CONTENTS. + + _______________ + + + CHAPTER I. + + EARLY LIFE--RESIDENCE IN CANADA. + +Foundation of the excellence of her character--Birth-- + Education--Conversion--Marriage--Voyage to Quebec-- + Doddridge's Rise and Progress--Residence at Montreal and + Fort Niagara--Sails for Antigua--1742-1772, .................. 7 + + + CHAPTER II. + + RESIDENCE AT ANTIGUA--DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH. + +Dr. Graham called to St. Vincents--His safe return--State of + his mind--Death of Mrs. Graham's mother--Letter + describing the death of Dr. Graham--Kindness of Dr. H.-- + Reflections--Letters to Mrs. Grandidier and to her father-- + Departure for Scotland--1773-1775, ............................ 22 + + + CHAPTER III. + + RETURN TO SCOTLAND--SCHOOL AT EDINBURGH. + +Perilous voyage--Trust in God--Return to Cartside--Care of + her father--Residence at Paisley--Depressed circumstances-- + Peace in God--Singular investment and result--School + in Edinburgh--Friends--Benevolence to poor tradesmen-- + Dancing--Letter of Lady Glenorchy--Origin of the Society + for the Relief of the Destitute Sick--Death and character + of Lady Glenorchy--Letter to a daughter--Visit to + Cartside and Paisley--Reposes all upon Christ--Removal to + New York--Devotional exercises--1776-1789, ................... 54 + + + CHAPTER IV. + + SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR, + DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON. + +Voyage and reception at New York--Marriage of Mrs. Stevenson-- + Anxiety for her son--He escapes a press-gang--Confidence + in God--Sickness and death of her pastor, Dr. John Mason-- + His character--Dr. John M. Mason installed pastor-- + Devotional exercises--Letter to A.D.--Letter to her son-- + Last intelligence of him--Reflections--1789-1794, ............ 82 + + + CHAPTER V. + + DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY + SOCIETY IN NEW YORK. + +Marriage of Mrs. Bethune--Death of Mrs. Stevenson--Strong + consolation--Singular receipts and liberality--Devotional + exercises--Anniversary of her daughter's birth and death-- + First Missionary Society in New York--Reflections-- + Acquaintance with Mrs. C---- near Boston--Letter and + devotional exercises--1795-1797, ............................. 115 + + + CHAPTER VI. + + FORMATION OF THE WIDOWS' SOCIETY-- + CLOSE OF HER SCHOOL. + +Rise of the Widows' Society--First monthly missionary + prayer-meeting--Letter to a young man on joining the + church--The Essay on Man--Marriage of Mrs. Smith--Close + of her school--Labors for widows and the poor--Letters to + Mrs. C.--The yellow-fever--Death of Washington--Devotional + exercises--1797-1800, ........................................ 144 + + + CHAPTER VII. + + BENEVOLENT LABORS--MRS. HOFFMAN-- + CORRESPONDENCE. + +Schools and labors connected with the Widows' Society--Her + friend Mrs. Hoffman--Anniversary of the Widows' Society-- + Visit to Boston--Want of evangelical preaching--Letters + to Miss M---- of Boston--Letters to Mr. and Mrs. Bethune in + Britain--Anxiety for them--Confidence in God--Church + discipline--Dr. Mason sails for Britain--1800-1801, .......... 167 + + + CHAPTER VIII. + + JOURNAL AND LETTERS--LADIES' SCHOOL + FOR POOR CHILDREN. + +Death of a grandchild--Letters to Mr. and Mrs. Bethune in + Britain--Death of B.--Of another grandchild--Of Pero, a + colored man--Return of Mr. and Mrs. Bethune--Takes up her + abode with them--Devotional exercises--Ladies' school for + poor children--Address on its formation--Supplications for + a revival of God's work--Labors for the suffering poor-- + Letters to Mrs. C.--Letter to the widow of her brother-- + 1801-1805, ................................................... 200 + + + CHAPTER IX. + + ORPHAN ASYLUM SOCIETY--FOREIGN MISSIONARIES. + +Letters--Formation and success of the Orphan Asylum-- + Inscription for Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Hoffman--Labors in the + New York hospital and among female convicts--Miss + Farquharson, first American missionary to foreign lands-- + Visit of Rev. Dr. Morrison and others--Letter to her + children at the Springs--Letter to Mrs. Juliet S.--Visits + Rockaway--Reminiscence of Elderslie--1806-1809, .............. 250 + + + CHAPTER X. + + NEW YORK BIBLE SOCIETY--ASSOCIATIONS FOR PRAYER-- + HAPPY OLD AGE. + +Letters--Bible Society organized--Efforts for the revival and + extension of religion--Admissions to the communion-- + Narrow escape from drowning at Rockaway--Barrenness of + preaching without Christ--Devotional exercises--Letters + to Miss Van Wyck and James Todd--Happy old age--Letter to + Mrs. C---- in affliction--Letter to Mrs. G.Y.--Prayer for + ministers--Magdalen Society--Lancasterian school-- + 1809-1811, ................................................... 270 + + + CHAPTER XI. + + DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES AND LETTERS. + +Indwelling sin lamented--Day of fasting--Happiness of the + aged Christian--Sermon in the state-prison--Happy + reminiscences--Two grandchildren unite with the church-- + Unfaithfulness to people of the world lamented--Rich + temporal blessings--Letter to Mrs. J.W.--Day of fasting-- + 1812-1814, ................................................... 309 + + + CHAPTER XII. + + CLOSING LABORS FOR THE POOR--SICKNESS AND DEATH. + +Society for the promotion of industry among the poor-- + Sunday-school of eighty children--Love of evangelical books + Last two weeks--Communion--Last sickness--Peaceful + death--Character by Dr. Mason--Epitaph--1814, ................ 348 + + + PROVISION FOR PASSING OVER JORDAN. + +Scripture extracts--Meditations--Poetic effusions, ............... 379 + + + + + LIFE + + OF + + MRS. ISABELLA GRAHAM. + + _______________ + + + CHAPTER I. + + EARLY LIFE--RESIDENCE IN CANADA. + + Mankind take an interest in the history of those who, like +themselves, have encountered the trials and discharged the duties of +life. Too often, however, publicity is given to the lives of men +splendid in acts of mighty mischief, in whom the secret exercises of +the heart would not bear a scrutiny. The memoirs are comparatively few +of those engaged in the humble and useful walks of active benevolence, +where the breathings of the soul would display a character much to be +admired, and more to be imitated. + + As the celebrated Dr. Buchanan has observed, that if you were to +ask certain persons in Christian countries, if they had any +acquaintance with the _religious_ world, they would say "they had +never heard there _was_ such a world;" so, while the external +conduct of individuals is made the subject of much critical remark, +the religion of the heart, the secret source of action, too frequently +escapes unnoticed and unexplored. + + It is only when the career of life is closed, that the character +is completely established. On this account memoirs of the living are, +in few instances, read with much interest; but when the soul has +departed, and the body sleeps in dust, it may prove useful to +survivors to examine the principles which led their departed friend to +a life of honorable benevolence, and to a peaceful end. + + Such considerations as these, and the urgent request of many +respectable individuals, have induced the preparation of the following +sketch of the life and writings of Mrs. ISABELLA GRAHAM, whose +character was so esteemed, and whose memory is so venerated by all who +knew her. The evident purity of motive which impelled her to activity +in deeds of benevolence, at once commanded love and respect, which, in +her case peculiarly, was unalloyed with any risings of jealousy, envy, +or distrust. + + Blessed with a spirit of philanthropy, with an ardent and +generous mind, a sound judgment, and an excess of that sensibility +which moulds the soul for friendship, a cultivated intellect and rich +experience, her company was eagerly sought and highly valued by old +and young. Though happily qualified to shine in the drawing-room, her +time was seldom wasted there; for such a disposition of it would have +been waste, contrasted with her usual employments. Her steps were not +seen ascending the hill, of ambition, nor tracing the mazes of popular +applause. Where the widow and the orphan wept, where the sick and the +dying moaned, thither her footsteps hastened; and there, seen only by +her heavenly Father, she administered to their temporal wants, +breathed the voice of consolation on their ear, shed the tear of +sympathy, exhibited the truths of the gospel from the sacred volume, +and poured out her soul for them in prayer to her Saviour and her God. + + In a few such deeds she rested not, nor was the story of them +obtruded upon others, or recorded by herself. The recollection of past +exertions was lost in her zeal to accomplish greater purposes and +greater good: her heart expanded with her experience, and her means +were too limited, the active powers of her vigorous mind too feeble, +to fulfil the abounding desires of her soul in alleviating the +miseries and increasing the comforts of the poor, the destitute, and +afflicted. To learn the latent springs of such excellence is worthy of +research; they may be all summed up in this, _the religion of +the heart_. + + The extracts from Mrs. Graham's letters and devotional exercises, +which constitute so large a part of the following pages, will furnish +the best development of her principles; and may, with the blessing of +God, prove useful to those who read them. In all her writings will be +manifested the power of _faith_, the efficiency of _grace_, +and in them, as in her own uniform confession, Jesus will be magnified +and self will be humbled. Her life was chiefly distinguished by her +continual dependence on God, and his unceasing faithfulness and mercy +towards her. + + + ISABELLA MARSHALL, afterwards Mrs. Graham, was born July 29, +1742, in the shire of Lanark, in Scotland. Her grandfather was one of +the elders who quitted the established church with the Rev. Messrs. +Ralph and Ebenezer Erskine. She was educated in the principles of the +church of Scotland. Her father and mother were both pious; indeed, her +mother, whose maiden name was Janet Hamilton, appears, from her +letters yet extant, to have possessed a mind of the same character as +her daughter afterwards exhibited. + + Isabella was trained to an active life, as well as favored with a +superior education. Her grandfather, whose dying-bed she assiduously +attended, bequeathed her a legacy of some hundred pounds. In the use +to which she applied this money, the soundness of her judgment was +thus early manifested. She requested it might be appropriated to the +purpose of procuring a thorough _education_. When ten years of +age, she was sent to a boarding-school taught by a lady of +distinguished talents and piety. Often has Mrs. Graham repeated to her +children the maxims of Mrs. Betty Morehead. With ardent and unwearied +endeavors to attain mental endowments, and especially moral and +religious knowledge, she attended the instructions of Mrs. Morehead +for seven successive winters. How valuable is early instruction. With +the blessing of God, it is probable that this instructress laid the +foundation of the exertions and usefulness of her pupil in after-life. +How wise and how gracious are the ways of the Lord. Knowing the path +in which he was afterwards to lead Isabella Marshall, her God was +pleased to provide her an education of a much higher kind than was +usual in those days. Who would not trust that God, who alone can be +_the guide of our youth_? + + Her father, John Marshall, farmed a paternal estate, called the +Heads, near Hamilton. This estate he sold, and rented the estate of +Elderslie, once the habitation of Sir William Wallace. There Isabella +passed her childhood and her youth. + + She had no definite recollection of the period at which her heart +first _tasted that the Lord is gracious_. As far back as she +could remember, she took delight in pouring out her soul to God. In +the woods of Elderslie she selected a bush, to which she resorted in +seasons of devotion. Under this bush she believed she was enabled to +devote herself to God, through faith in her Redeemer, before she had +entered on her tenth year. To this favorite, and to her, sacred spot, +she would repair, when exposed to temptation or perplexed with +childish troubles. From thence she caused her prayers to ascend, and +there she found peace and consolation. + + Children cannot at too early a period seek the favor of the God of +heaven. How blessed to be reared and fed by his hand, taught by his +Spirit, and strengthened by his grace. + + The late Rev. Dr. Witherspoon, afterwards president of Princeton +college, was at this time one of the ministers of the town of Paisley. +Isabella sat under his ministry, and at the age of seventeen publicly +professed her faith in Christ. In the year 1765 she was married to Dr. +John Graham, then a practising physician in Paisley, a gentleman of +liberal education and of respectable standing. + + About a year after their marriage, Dr. Graham, having been +appointed surgeon to the 60th or royal American regiment, was ordered +to Canada, where that corps was stationed. Mrs. Graham accompanied +him, and a plan was digested--with how limited a knowledge of the +future will appear--for their permanent residence in America. Dr. +Graham calculated on disposing of his commission, and purchasing a +tract of land on the Mohawk river, where his father-in-law, Mr. +Marshall, was to follow him. The letter subjoined gives the +interesting incidents of their voyage, and forms a pleasant +introduction to the character of Mrs. Graham at this period of +her life. + + + "QUEBEC, August 29, 1767. + + "MY DEAREST PARENTS--This is the fifth letter I have written to +you, although I know it is the first that can reach you. All the time +I was at sea I kept a letter lying by me, in hope of getting it put on +board some vessel bound for Britain; but I have met with many +disappointments. We spoke several ships, but I never could get a +letter put on board. At one time I was told the wind was too high, at +another that the ship was at too great a distance, and so was put off +till I began to understand a more substantial reason, namely, that it +would cost the captain rather too much trouble. + + "We have now, however, got safe here, after a tedious voyage of +nine weeks, and I will give you a short account of what happened +during that time. + + "We sailed, as you know, from Greenock, June 10. For the first +five or six days we had fine weather and fair winds, and got quite +clear of land; after this, we had nearly six weeks of most tempestuous +weather, and the wind, except for about two days, directly against us. +The gentlemen after some time began to be very impatient; for my part +I should not have cared although it had lasted twelve months. I had +left all that was dear to me behind, except one dear friend, that one +was constantly with me, and although the rest of the company in the +ship was very agreeable, yet I was the great object of his attention, +and his invention was ever on the stretch to find amusement for me. It +is not possible for me to say with what indulgent tenderness I was +treated; but though I love my husband even to extravagance, yet my +dear friends whom I left behind have a large share of my heart. They +dwell on my mind in the daytime; and at night, when sleep lays the +body aside and leaves the soul at liberty, she on the wings of +imagination makes one skip over whole seas, and is immediately with +those dear friends whose absence she so much lamented during the day, +and in an imaginary body as truly enjoys you for the time as if really +present with you. + + "The gentlemen on board soon found reason to be thankful for the +preservation of life, and got something very different to think of +than fret at the contrary winds. A leak sprung in the ship, which +alarmed them all so much that a consultation was held among them +whether if any ship came near they should hail it and go on board +wherever she was bound. I was perfectly unconcerned about the whole +matter, not being aware of the danger, which was kept secret from me +till we came on shore. I saw the men constantly pumping, but thought +it was what they were obliged to do in every ship. After coming to +land, on examining the ship, they found the leak to be so large that +one might put his five fingers into it; indeed, it seemed next to a +miracle that she kept above water; but every day of our lives may +convince us what dependent creatures we are. While God's merciful +providence protects us we are safe, though in the midst of apparent +danger; should he withdraw that protection but for a moment, +inevitable evils surround us, even when we think ourselves in +perfect safety. + + "A proof of this we had in a most distressing event, which took +place about six weeks after we left Greenock. The wind was in our +favor, the day was fine, and we were all amusing ourselves on deck in +various ways, when Captain Kerr, who was standing close by us, +stumbling backwards, fell overboard. He got above water before the +ship passed him, and called to throw him a rope, but alas, no rope was +at hand, and before one was got the ship was out of his reach. +Immediately they threw over a large hen-coop, but, poor man, he could +not swim, so he soon disappeared. The boats were put out with great +expedition, and in less than a quarter of an hour he was found. You +may believe no means were left unemployed to restore animation; but +alas, the spirit had taken its final leave; it was no longer an +inhabitant of earth, not the least signs of life appeared. The day +after, being Sunday, his body was committed to the deep, from whence +it had been rescued the day before. Dr. Graham read in public the +church of England burial service. Every one on board seemed much +affected; I cannot tell you how much I was. + + "About eight days after, we got to the Banks of Newfoundland; +while there the fog was so dense we could not see forty yards in any +direction, and the cold was excessive, notwithstanding the season of +the year. There were a great many islands of ice floating on the +water; I saw three within twenty yards of us, much larger than the +ship. The captain said if the ship ran against any one of them, she +would be dashed to pieces. And here, again, my former observation +holds good, for sure it could not be the art of man, either in the +dark night or in the dense fog, which could protect the ship flying +before the wind, through dangers so thick on every side of us. For +several days and nights we saw neither sun nor stars, which distressed +the captain much, for he knew not where we were, and apprehending we +were near land, was afraid of running upon some rock; so we were +obliged to cruise about till the atmosphere cleared. + + "The sail up the river St. Lawrence is extremely pleasant. You +know how fond I have ever been of wood and water. This country, in +this respect, is quite to my taste, and could I only get half a dozen +of those friends I could name settled down on either side of us, with +five hundred pounds' worth of land to give to each, I should ask no +more in this world. + + "When we arrived, the doctor's friend Mr. Findley came on board, +took us on shore, and brought us to his elegant mansion. He begged we +would look on him as an old friend, feel perfectly at home, and remain +with him as long as we could. Give my love to my dear boys;* you see +them often, I have no doubt. Do, my dearest mamma, write me soon, and +tell me all about them and yourself; and ever believe me, my dear +parents, with the greatest affection, + +*Dr. Graham's two sons by a former marriage, who were left under the + care of Mr. Davidson, rector of the grammar-school of Paisley. + + "Your dutiful daughter, + "I. GRAHAM." + + + In a letter a month, later, Mrs. Graham refers to the gay and +fashionable circles to which they were introduced in Quebec, and +mentions her visiting the beautiful falls of Montmorency; but mourns +over the low state of religion, and the prevailing desecration of the +Sabbath. She adds: + + "I have read Doddridge's Rise and Progress. I little knew what a +treasure Mr. Ellis put into my hand when he gave me that book. I +cannot say it is my daily companion, but I can with truth say it is +often so. Let my mind be in ever so giddy and thoughtless a frame, or +ever so much busied in those amusements I am engaged in, it makes me +serious, and gives my thoughts a different turn; there is scarce any +situation the mind can be in, but it will find something suitable +there. I must not, however, make remarks on the particular contents of +it; it would occupy more paper than I have to spare. I would have you +purchase the book; I am sure you would like it; and when you have read +it, it will be matter of great satisfaction to you that John and I +have such a treasure in our possession. In it are contained every +advice you could give us, and cautions against the temptations which, +on account of youth, company, and the country we are in, we are +exposed to." + + They were expecting to spend the winter in Quebec, but were +ordered to Montreal, where Jessie, her eldest daughter, was born, and +where Mrs. Graham received intelligence of the death of her infant +son, who had been left with her mother in Scotland. Further orders +were soon received for the doctor to join the second battalion of his +regiment at fort Niagara, on lake Ontario; Mrs. Graham followed him, +and they continued here in garrison for four years, during which her +second and third daughters, Joanna and Isabella, were added to +her charge. + + Under date of February 3, 1771, we find, from her own pen, the +following description of her occupations and enjoyments, in a letter +addressed to her beloved mother: + + + "My two Indian girls come on very well indeed. The eldest milked +the cows all summer; she washes and irons all the clothes for the +family, scrubs the floors, and does the most part of the kitchen work. +The young one's charge is the children, and some other little turns +when the infant is asleep. I teach them to read and to sew when they +have any spare time. As for me, I find I have enough to do to +superintend. You may be sure I help a little too, now and then. I make +and mend what is necessary for the family, for I must be tailor, +mantua-maker, and milliner. + + "In the forenoon the doctor makes his rounds as usual. I generally +trot about till two o'clock, dress the children, order dinner, dress +myself, and twenty other things, which you know are necessary to be +looked after by the mistress of a family. After dinner I sit down to +my work, and we have always a book, which the doctor reads when I can +attend; when I cannot, he reads something else. + + "As I am at present the only wife in the place, we have a regular +tea-table, and now and then a little frugal supper; for the doctor has +come more into my way of thinking, and does not insist upon cutting a +figure as much as some time ago. When alone, he reads and I work, as +usual. He is seldom out, and never but when I am with him. We are easy +in our circumstances, and want for nothing that is necessary; in +short, my ever dear parents, my life is easy and pleasant. The Lord my +God make it pious and useful. + + "Could I place myself and family in the same circumstances, and +every thing go on in the same manner, within a few miles of you, I +should be happy for life; and were it not for this hope, which my +heart is set upon, I could not be so, with all I have told you. + + "We find the newspapers full of preparations for war; may the Lord +dispose all hearts to peace, for I hate the sound, though it is the +wish of the greatest number about me. There is no prospect of our +leaving this place for a year yet. For my part I have only two reasons +for wishing it. The first is, I should like to be in some Christian +society; the other, that I might do something towards getting home. To +return to the gay world, again I have no ambition. My family here, and +my friends at home, engross all my attention; and when I see the one, +and hear of the other being well, I am happy. Time never hangs heavy +on my hand; I can always find employment, and amusement too, without +the assistance of what go under the name of diversions. + + "We have lately had several visits from a great family. The chief +of the Seneca nation having a daughter not well, brought her to the +doctor to see what could be done for her; he, his squaw or lady, and +daughters breakfasted with us several times. I was kind, and made all +the court to them I could, though we could not converse but by an +interpreter. I made the daughters some little presents, and the doctor +would not be feed. Who knows but these little services may one day +save our scalps? There have been several threatenings of an Indian +war; thank God, it seems to be quite hushed again. + + "War with civilized nations is nothing to war with Indians. They +have no mercy, nor give any quarter to man, woman, or child: all meet +the same fate, except where they take a liking to particular persons; +those they adopt as their children, and use them as such. + + "The doctor joins in affectionate respects to my dear father, and +you, the boys, and all our dear friends. I am as much as ever, and +will be to my latest breath, my dear mamma, your affectionate +daughter, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + Mrs. Graham always considered the time she passed at Niagara as +the happiest of her days, considered in a temporal view. The officers +of the regiment were amiable men, attached to each other, and the +ladies were united in the ties of friendship. The society there, +secluded from the world, exempt from the collision of individual and +separate interests, which often create so much discord in large +communities, and studious to promote the happiness of each other, +enjoyed that tranquillity and contentment which ever accompany a +disinterested interchange of friendly offices. But this fort being +detached from other settlements, the garrison were deprived of +ordinances and the public means of grace, and the life of religion in +the soul of Mrs. Graham sunk to a low ebb. A conscientious observance +of the Sabbath, which throughout life she maintained, proved to her at +Niagara as a remembrance and revival of devotional exercises. She +wandered on those sacred days into the woods around Niagara, searched +her Bible, communed with God and herself, and poured out her soul in +prayer to her covenant Lord. Throughout the week, the attentions to +her friends, her domestic comfort and employments, and the amusements +pursued in the garrison, she used to confess, occupied too much of her +time and of her affections. + + Here we behold a little society enjoying much comfort and +happiness in each other, yet falling short of that preeminent duty and +superior blessedness of glorifying, as they ought to have done, the +God of heaven, who fed them by his bounty, and offered them a full and +free salvation in the gospel of his Son. No enjoyments nor +possessions, however ample and acceptable, can crown the soul with +peace and true felicity, unless accompanied with the fear and favor of +Him who can speak pardon to the transgressor, and _shed abroad his +love in the hearts_ of his children; thus giving an earnest of +spiritual and eternal blessedness along with temporal good. + + The commencement of the revolutionary struggle in America rendered +it necessary, in the estimation of the British government, to order to +another and very diverse scene of action the sixtieth regiment, +composed in a great measure of Americans. + + Their destination was the island of Antigua: Dr. and Mrs. Graham +and their family, consisting of three infant daughters and two young +Indian girls, sailed from Niagara to Oswego, and from thence, by a +path through the woods, reached the Mohawk, which river they descended +in batteaux to Schenectady. Here Dr. Graham left his family, and went +to New York to complete a negotiation he had entered into for +disposing of his commission, to enable him to settle, as he originally +intended, on a tract of land which it was in his power to purchase on +the banks of the river they had just descended. The gentleman +proposing to purchase his commission, not being able to perfect the +arrangement in time, Dr. Graham found himself under the necessity of +proceeding to Antigua with the regiment. Mrs. Graham on learning this, +hurried down with her family to accompany him, although he had left it +optional with her to remain till he should have ascertained the +nature of the climate, and the probability of his continuing in the +West Indies. + + At New York they were treated with much kindness by the late Rev. +Dr. John Rodgers and others, especially by the family of Mr. Vanbrugh +Livingston. With Mr. Livingston's daughter, the wife of Major Brown, +of the sixtieth regiment, Mrs. Graham formed a very intimate +friendship, which continued during the life of Mrs. Brown. + + They embarked with the regiment, November 5, 1772, for Antigua. + + + + + CHAPTER II. + + RESIDENCE AT ANTIGUA--DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH. + + Within three weeks after their arrival at Antigua, six companies +were ordered to the island of St. Vincents to quell an insurrection of +the Caribs. The doctor accompanied them, and Mrs. Graham was called to +the pain of separation under circumstances more trying than she had as +yet experienced, as the war with savages might expose him to the most +cruel death. In these circumstances she wrote him as follows: + + "ANTIGUA, January 16, 1773. + + "MY DEAREST DOCTOR--This goes by Mr. W----, who sails to-morrow; +also a letter to Captain G----. Mr. M---- begs to be remembered to +you; he has been foot and hand to me since you left. My dearest +doctor, suffer me to put you in remembrance of what you put in the end +of your trunk the morning you left me,* and let it not lie idle. +Read it as the voice of God to your soul. My dearest love, I have been +greatly distressed for fear of your dear life; but the love I bear to +your soul is as superior to that of your body, as the value of one +surpasses the other; consequently my anxiety for its interest is +proportioned. May heaven preserve my dearest love--lead you, guide +you, direct you, so can you never go wrong--protect and defend you, so +shall you ever be safe, is the daily prayer of your affectionate wife, + +*Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul. + + "I. GRAHAM. + + + "P.S. I am told that you have taken a number of prisoners. I know +not if you have any right to entail slavery on these poor creatures. +If any fall to your share, do set them at liberty." + + On the 8th of June, Mrs. Graham wrote to her mother, expressing +her gratitude for her husband's safe return, and noticing some +gratifying indications of the calm and peaceful state of his mind: + + "You would be surprised to hear the doctor preach. He says we +ought to be thankful; we have hitherto been richly and bountifully +provided for; we ought not to repine, nor doubt, seeing we have the +same Providence to depend upon; that we ought not to set our hearts +upon any thing in this world; being very short-sighted, we cannot know +what is proper for us. Having done for the best, when we are +disappointed, we ought to rest satisfied that either what we wish is +not for our good, or it will in some future dispensation of Providence +be brought about another way and in a fitter time. Indeed, my dear +mamma, in some things he is a better Christian than I am. _May God +make him so in every thing._" + + Thus was the Lord preparing his servant for what was so soon +to follow--not his dismission from the regiment, which he so +ardently desired, but from this world and its temptations and snares. +Mrs. Graham's prayers were answered, but "by terrible things +in righteousness." + + She added a request that her mother would receive her eldest +daughter, who, though at the early age of _five years_, she +feared would receive injurious influences from the corrupt state of +society around her, and accordingly, not long after, sent her to +Scotland; but before her arrival, her grandmother had been called to a +better world. In reference to this event Mrs. Graham wrote to her +bereaved father as follows: + + "ANTIGUA, August 21, 1773. + + "MY DEAREST PAPA--The heart-rending tidings of my dear, my +tender, my affectionate mother's death reached me yesterday. I am so +distressed that I can scarcely write, and no wonder, for never was +there such a mother. My loss is indeed great; but O, my dear, my +afflicted father, how my heart bleeds for you. Father of mercies, +support my aged parent, and enable him to place his hopes of happiness +beyond this transitory world, and to follow the footsteps of the +dear departed saint till he joins her in glory, never, never more to +be separated. + + "My dearest father, we may indeed mourn for ourselves; but she +is happy--that is beyond all doubt. Her delight was with God while +she was here; her closet was a Bethel; her Bible was her heart's +treasure, and His people were her loved companions. She has now +joined the innumerable company above, where she continues the same +services without human frailty, and the enjoyment heightened beyond +our highest conceptions. + + "O then, my dear father, be comforted; let us now try to follow +her; let her Saviour now be ours, and then shall we be blest with +like consolations. + + "My dearest father, I cannot tell you how much I feel for you; my +tears will not allow me, they flow so fast that I cannot write; what +would I give to be with you. But these are vain words. + + "The doctor, however, fully expects that next summer will bring +him leave to go home; then, I trust, we shall be in some fixed place +of abode, and, my dear papa, you will come and live with us. I shall +feel it to be a privilege beyond what I can tell, to perform every +service you stand in need of, soothe your pains and comfort you under +the infirmities of old age. + + "My dear, my worthy brother--how has that tender letter, and the +noble resolution he has taken, endeared him to me. It is certainly his +indispensable duty to stay with you in your present solitary +situation; such a dutiful, affectionate son must be a great comfort to +you, and he will not lose his reward. + + "I am anxious, my dearest father, to know the particulars of my +mother's death: who attended her in her illness? was the nurse who was +with her a good woman? was she sensible? did she expect death? and did +she mention me, and leave me her blessing? My dear, dear father, tell +me all. + + "Farewell, my beloved father; may your God and Redeemer be your +support and final portion, is the prayer of your affectionate +daughter, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + In her grief for the loss of her inestimable mother, Dr. Graham +had said to her that "God might perhaps call her to a severer trial by +taking her husband also," and the warning appeared prophetic; but her +own words best describe the emotions of her bleeding heart. + + + To Miss Margaret Graham, Glasgow. + + "MY DEAR SISTER--Prepare yourself for a severe shock from an +event that has robbed me of every earthly joy. Your amiable brother is +no longer an inhabitant of this lower world. On the seventeenth of +November he was seized with a putrid fever, which, on the +twenty-second, numbered him with the dead, and left me a thing not to +be envied by the most abject beggar that crawls from door to door. +Expect not consolation from me: I neither can give nor take it. But +why say I so? _Yes, I can._ He died as a Christian, sensible to +the last, and in full expectation of his approaching end. O, you knew +not your brother's worth; you knew him not as a husband: he was not +the same as when you knew him in his giddy years: he was to me all +love, all affection, and partial to my every fault; prudent too in +providing for his family. I had gained such an entire ascendency over +his heart as I would not have given for the crown of Britain. + + "On Wednesday, at one o'clock, the seventeenth day of November, +1773, my dear doctor was seized with a violent fever. I sent for his +assistant, Dr. Bowie: he not being at home, Dr. Muir came, who +prescribed an emetic in the evening, and his fever having greatly +abated, it was accordingly given. In the morning Dr. Bowie thought him +so well I did not ask for any other assistance. At ten o'clock his +fever greatly increased, though not so violent as it had been the day +before. He was advised to lose a little blood, which he did; and +towards evening it again abated. + + "I found he was not quite satisfied with what had been done for +him; at the same time he would do nothing for himself. Thursday +evening I begged Dr. Bowie to call in Dr. Warner's assistance, +notwithstanding he assured me there was not one dangerous symptom. +Friday morning they both attended, and both pronounced him in a fair +way of recovery. + + "About three o'clock Dr. Eird came, who seemed surprised the +thing had not been done which Dr. Graham himself had been dissatisfied +for the want of the day before. Soon after the medicine was sent; but +O, my dear doctor said it was then too late. In the evening they all +again attended, and insisted there was no danger. Saturday morning he +seemed very easy, and the physicians said he was in a fine way. The +fever was gone; the decoction of bark prescribed; and they said he +would be able to-morrow to take it in substance. I was not now the +least apprehensive of danger, and was very earnest in prayer that the +Lord would sanctify his affliction, and not suffer it to go off +without leaving a sensible effect on his mind. Nay, I even said in my +heart, 'the rod is too soon removed, it will do him no good.' Oh, that +fools will still persist to prescribe to infinite wisdom and goodness. +I was soon severely punished. + + "About eleven he took the hiccup. I did not like it, but little +knew it was so dangerous a symptom as I afterwards understood. I sent +for Dr. Bowie, who assured me that though it was a disagreeable +symptom with other attendants, in his case it was of no more +consequence than if he or I were to take it. All that day it was so +moderate that a mouthful of any liquid stopped it, though it always +returned again: he often said it would be his death; but I imagined +the pain it gave him extorted these words from him rather than a sense +of danger, and was much pleased to hear him often pray that the Lord +would give him patience and resignation to his blessed will, and still +more to observe that he bore it with a patience beyond what was +natural to him. He was of a quick temper, and being of a healthy +constitution, was but little accustomed to pain; but, during the whole +of his severe and trying affliction, I do not remember to have heard a +murmuring word escape his lips; so that I cannot doubt but his prayers +were heard, and the grace prayed for bestowed. In the evening the +hiccup increased, and all that night it was very severe, so that he +could not bear to be any way disturbed, nor could I possibly prevail +upon him to take his medicine, from two in the morning until ten +o'clock, when the physicians again attended and persuaded him to +comply. This was Sunday. About mid-day Dr. Warner sent some old hock, +with orders that he should take some in his drink, and now and then a +little plain. When the wine was brought in and put on the table, he +asked me what it was. I told him. He said, 'Yes, they are now come to +the last shift.' + + "Mr. Frank Gilbert, a good man, and, I believe, a real +Christian, having come to town to preach--for he is a Methodist +minister--sent a note, kindly inquiring after him, and intimating, +if it would be agreeable to him, he would visit him in the morning. +He said, by all means, he should be very glad to see him. I said, +'My love, you know I have great faith in the prayers of God's +people; suppose you should beg an interest in them this afternoon?' +He answered, 'My dear, do you think they will forget me?' I said, +'I hope, my love, you are not ashamed to desire the prayers of the +people of God; it is not now a time to mind the ridicule of the +world.' He said, 'No, Bell, I care not a farthing for the whole +world, and you may make it my own request.' + + "His disorder gained ground very fast that day, and I began to be +much alarmed; yet still I thought it would not end in death, but +though severe and dangerous, was sent in answer to my repeated, +earnest prayers to awaken in him a real concern about his eternal +interest, to set the world and its vanities in their true light, and +bring about that entire change of heart which our blessed Lord styles +the new birth, and without which, he says, we cannot enter the kingdom +of heaven. + + "It was now become very difficult for him to speak; but by the +motion of his hands and eyes, which were continually lifted up when he +had the smallest respite, I could easily see his thoughts were fixed +on the importance of his situation; besides, many sentences and half +sentences broke from his lips at different times, which left me +without a doubt. 'Farewell,' said he, 'vain world; an idle world it +is, nothing but shadows, and we keep chasing them as children do +bubbles of water, till they break, and we find them nothing but air.' + + "Observing this inward recollection, I seldom disturbed him. He +was perfectly acquainted with the truth, and believed it. The +doctrines of religion were often the subject of our conversation, and +in every point of faith we entirely agreed: they only wanted to be +felt and applied to the heart. I remained in silence to my dear +husband, but not to my God: I was incessant in prayer, begging and +beseeching that the Lord himself would carry on what he had so +graciously begun--that he would every way suit himself to his +necessities, and give conviction or consolation, as he saw needful; +but when he spoke I endeavored to answer him from God's own word, as I +was able or assisted. Once he exclaimed, 'Draw me, and I will run +after thee;' at another time, 'Surely thou wilt not allow thy blessed +Son to plead in vain for me, an obstinate sinner.' This was a degree +of faith, and I endeavored to strengthen it. I said, 'My love, you +know the way to the Father, through Christ, the only Mediator. You say +right, he cannot plead in vain; fly to him; cast yourself at his feet; +trust in him; hear his own invitation, 'Come unto me, all ye that +labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest;' 'him that cometh +unto me I will in no wise cast out.' At another time these words broke +from his lips, 'Form me, train me, prepare me for thyself.' Here was a +breathing after sanctification; might not the promise be applied, 'I +will create a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within thee.' + + "In the evening the physicians again attended, but could hardly +get a word from him. While they sat by the bedside I went out to the +gallery with Mrs. Grandidier; the apparent struggle she had to conceal +her distress, the compassion and sympathy in her countenance struck +me. I easily perceived she gave up hope, and, I began to suspect, not +from her own judgment alone; she advised me to send away my children +to a friend's house, and to send for a person who was capable of +assisting me, it being no longer proper for me to be alone. Thus far I +had not allowed any person to do the least thing about him but myself, +nor stirred from his bedside, except for a few minutes, to pour out my +soul into the bosom of my God. I hardly, if ever, prayed for his +recovery, being willing the rod should remain till it effected the +purpose for which it was sent, and then I believed it would be +removed--as if the Lord was to follow exactly the rules prescribed by +my weak, foolish, ignorant heart. + + "Hitherto I had suffered little, believing all to be the answer +to my prayers; but I had not seriously thought of parting with him. I +was now truly alarmed, and determined to know, as far as appearances +went, the worst. Accordingly I stopped Dr. Bowie on the gallery: 'Tell +me, doctor,' said I, 'what have I to expect? It is cruel to flatter +me: if you give me some warning, and prepare me, I may perhaps be able +to support it; but if you suffer it to come upon me all at once, I +shall certainly sink under the shock.' He was silent for some time, +and then replied, 'I am really at a loss how to answer you.' I said, +'I will answer for you, there is no hope.' He said, 'God forbid--he is +in great danger; but still there is hope; and if you value his life, +be calm.' I was composed. Strange composure; I neither cried nor +complained; tears were denied a passage; I was fixed and dumb like a +statue. Can I, or any one else, describe my situation, or what I felt +at that moment? It was urged of what consequence it was that I should +be composed, that I might be able to do my duty to him, as no one +could supply my place to his satisfaction, and perhaps even now he +might be in want of me. I returned to my post, which was, except when +doing some necessary office about him, generally on my knees by his +bedside, partly that I might not lose the least whisper that came from +his lips, and partly because it is my favorite posture for prayer, +from which I could not cease, no, not for one minute. + + "There were different medicines prescribed for that night, some +in case that others proved too strong for his stomach, others in case +of the increase of the hiccup. I found my head confused and my memory +incapable of retaining the variety of directions given. I therefore +accepted of the offer of a friend of his to sit up with us that night, +whom I begged to pay particular attention to the directions, and to +watch the proper times the medicines were to be given. This he did +with great care, and my dear doctor was very pliable in taking them as +they were offered. As for me I was so deeply engaged with the concerns +of his soul, I was unfit for any thing else. + + "After Dr. Bowie let me know the danger he was in, I sent a +letter to Mr. Gilbert, begging he would not delay his visit till +morning, as perhaps by that time he might not be able to speak to him. +Accordingly he came; he asked him how he did; he answered, 'Very ill;' +he asked him the situation of his mind; he answered, 'Entirely +resigned to the divine will;' he asked him what hopes he had; he said, +'his hope was in the mercy of God, through Christ;' Mr. Gilbert said, +'You have no dependence on any thing besides?' he said, 'No, no, I +have nothing else to depend upon.' Then the doctor desired him to +pray, but at the same time to be short, as he had but short intervals +from the hiccup. After prayer, Mr. Gilbert told me it seemed difficult +for him to speak, and he did not think it would be prudent to say +more; that he would call again in the morning. + + "Monday morning he was greatly weakened, having had little rest +all night from the severity of the hiccup. At ten o'clock the +physicians again attended; but I could easily perceive they had but +small hopes. My doctor asked Dr. Warner if he thought it would be long +before he would be at rest, who said his pulse was still strong. He +said, 'It is a hard thing to die!" Mrs. Brannan came to spend the day +with us, one of the Methodist society, and Mr. McNab, whom my doctor +desired to pray with him, which he did. All this day he said little, +but still continued in inward prayer, as was visible by the motions of +his hands and eyes; he had many agonizing struggles, and often +exclaimed, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' 'Blessed Jesus, come and +receive me to thyself--come--come--blessed Jesus, come!' Once, after a +long struggle, he exclaimed, 'Release me, O release me, and let me fly +to the bosom of my Father!' All this time I never parted from his +bedside but a few minutes to give my soul a freer vent at the throne +of grace. I never prayed for life, but that he might be washed, +sanctified, and have all God's salvation completed in his soul, and be +received into the arms of his mercy. I also had been, and still was, +very importunate that God would give me some token, some assurance +that he would save his soul, and give him an abundant entrance into +the kingdom of his glory; and, by all that I had heard, seen, and +felt, I was now satisfied that the most merciful God had sealed his +pardon for Jesus' sake; and I found myself ready, dearly as I loved +him, to resign him into the hands of divine mercy; but still I +breathed after some further manifestation. + + "In the evening Dr. Galloway, an old acquaintance, arrived from +the island of Dominico, and hearing of his friend's illness, came +immediately to visit him. When my doctor heard his voice only whisper +how he was, he said, 'I hear Galloway's voice,' and stretched out his +hand; so fully had he his senses to the last. Upon their feeling his +pulse, he asked if they thought he would be long in dying. Dr. Eird +replied, 'You must not talk of dying, but of living; you are stronger +than when I was here this morning, and I have seen many worse recover. +Do, do be advised, take your medicine, and try for life.' These words +brought a gleam of hope to my despairing soul, and what had been +denied me for twenty-four hours, a flood of tears, and I was greatly +relieved. I went out to the gallery and gave a free vent to my +bursting heart. I now also begged the Lord for his life, and said in +my heart, should he now be restored, how doubly blessed would he be, +healed in soul and body. I returned to his bedside and thus addressed +my beloved: 'My dearest life, the doctors still have hopes, and we +know nothing is impossible with God. Who knows what further service he +may have for you in this world; or whether he may not give you to my +prayers, and restore you to your Bell and family? God works by means; +O be persuaded to take every thing prescribed, and pray to God for the +blessing; devote your future life to his service, and, for poor Bell's +sake, offer up a petition for life.' He did not interrupt me, but +answered, 'Disengage yourself, Bell, disengage yourself from me. I +want to lift up my soul to God, and bless him for Jesus Christ.' + + "Dr. Galloway was determined to stay with him all night, and see +him take his medicine. Some time after, he had a severe attack of +hiccup, and said to Dr. Galloway, 'I hope you are now convinced.' He +said, 'Of what?' My doctor said, 'That dissolution is near.' A little +after, he said, 'Who died for all?' and again repeated, 'Who died for +all?' I was forbid to speak to him, as rest was so much wanted, so I +answered, 'Christ, my love; but give up your soul to God, and try to +shut your weary eyes, and get a little rest for your body;' and so he +did, and got a little sleep. All that night he did every thing he was +desired, but would drink nothing but cold water, which had been +allowed him; the wine he would not touch. His disorder increased so +fast that Dr. Galloway, about five in the morning, said to me, 'I may +go home--I can be of no service, and I cannot stand it.' I said, 'I +suppose I need not disturb him any more with medicine.' He said, 'No, +you may give him what he calls for.' Now, my God, all is over; I +resign him up to thee. Only one parting word--something yet I require, +to assure my heart that thou wilt receive his soul. Some time after he +laid his hand upon Mrs. Brannan's lap and made a sign to her; +afterwards he made a sign to me, who was at the back of the bed, to +come round. Mrs. Brannan thought he wanted her to retire, which she +did. He looked after her. I said, 'My love, she thinks you want to say +something to me; can you speak?' He said, 'Join--pray,' which we did. +He spoke no more for some time, only, 'Come, sweet Jesus,' and +frequently, 'Receive my spirit.' These words were given for my sake. I +cried, 'I am satisfied, Lord, and I yield him up to thee with all my +heart; thou hast given me all my asking. I will not be longer +faithless, but believing. Continue to support his departing soul, and +let the enemy find nothing in him.' + + "The next attack of hiccup laid him back speechless, and I +believe senseless in the last parting work: he had no further +struggle, nor need of any person to support him. I therefore again +placed myself on my knees by his bedside, determined not to quit the +posture till his soul had entered its rest; but nature was worn out, +and though I swallowed hartshorn and water in great quantities, I was +so overcome that I was obliged to lie down at the back of the bed to +save me from fainting. Three hours did he continue in this last work +of the heart. I watched his last, and delivered him up with a hearty +prayer and a full assurance; but O, how earnestly I wished to go with +him! I was, for the time, entirely insensible to my own loss: my soul +pursued him into the invisible world, and for the time cordially +rejoiced with the Spirit. I thought I saw the angel band ready to +receive him, among whom stood my dear mother, the first to bid him +welcome to the regions of bliss. + + "I was then desired to leave the room, which I did, saying, 'My +doctor is gone. I have accompanied him to the gates of heaven: he is +safely landed; that is now not him that lies there. You, nurse, will +see it decently dressed; then I may again be permitted to take another +parting kiss.' So, embracing the precious clay, I went into the +parlor. Some friends came in to see me. My composure they could not +account for: our sincere and tender regard for each other was too well +known to allow them to impute it to indifference. My distress at +parting with him, even for a couple of months, when he went to St. +Vincent, and dejection of spirit the whole time till his return, left +them as little room to impute it to want of sensibility: at last they +imagined that I was stupefied with grief and fatigue; but they little +knew that at that hour I rejoiced; indeed I told them, but I suppose +was not believed. I was asked if I had any thing particular to say +respecting the funeral. I said, 'Nothing--my charge is gone to rest; I +would leave it to them.' It was then proposed to bury next day at ten +o'clock. I said that was very early; they answered, by that time I +would be satisfied it was not too early. + + "In the evening I returned to our bed-chamber to take a last +farewell of the dear remains. The countenance was so very pleasant I +thought there was even something heavenly, and could not help saying, +'You smile upon me, my love; surely the delightful prospect opening on +the parting soul left that benign smile on its companion the body.' I +thought I could have stood and gazed for ever; but for fear of +relapsing into immoderate grief, I withdrew after a parting embrace, +and with an intention not to ask for another, lest a change in his +countenance might shake my peace; for Oh, we are weak, and at certain +times not subject to reason. I went to bed purely to get alone, for I +had little expectation of sleep; but I was mistaken; nature was fairly +overcome with watching and fatigue. I dropped asleep, and for a few +hours forgot my woes; but Oh; the pangs I felt on my first awaking. I +could not for some time believe it true that I was indeed a widow, and +that I had lost my heart's treasure--my all I held dear on earth. It +was long before day. I was in no danger of closing my eyes again, for +I was at that time abandoned to despair, till recollection and the +same considerations which at first supported me brought me a little to +myself. I considered, I wept for one that wept no more; that all my +fears for his eternal happiness were now over, and he beyond the reach +of being lost; neither was he lost to me, but added to my heavenly +treasure, more securely mine than ever. Those snares and temptations +arising from the corrupt customs of a degenerate age, which had so +often caused my fears, could never reach him there. The better, dearer +half of myself was now secure beyond the possibility of falling, and +waiting my arrival to complete his bliss. O happy hour, which shall +also set my soul at liberty, and unite us, never to part more. + + "In the morning I asked the nurse if there was any alteration; +she said, no. I again returned to take another view, and was surprised +to find his color and countenance unchanged. I began to be extremely +uneasy at having consented to so early a burial. I returned again, and +again; O, how I wished to have kept him for ever. Ten o'clock came; +the company assembled; I became very uneasy; at last I discovered it +to Dr. Bowie, begged he would only view him; how fresh the color--how +every way like life. He assured me there was not the smallest doubt +but that he was gone. I was not satisfied with this, but made them all +inspect him. All agreed in the same thing, and I was obliged to yield, +and the dear remains were ravished from my sight. What a night I +passed the night after the funeral! I had ordered our own bed to be +made up, and at the usual time retired; but in vain did I try to +sleep; the moment my senses began to lose sensibility, I was in a kind +of dream. Finding myself alone, I imagined he was out at supper, +though he seldom was without me; now I thought I heard his foot on the +stairs, and started up to listen if it were he, and to bid him +welcome, when my roused senses told me what I could still hardly +credit, that I had no husband to expect, and threw me into a fresh +agony, which kept me awake till I had in some measure again reconciled +myself to my solitary situation. But having only slept a few hours +since my dear doctor was taken ill, I no sooner got my mind a little +composed, than sleep again began to overpower my senses, when the +same, or a similar imagination roused me. + + "The morning came. When I was called down to breakfast, the sight +of his empty seat distracted me. I returned to my room, though I +thought it my duty to take some nourishment. I had it brought to me. +Alas, I could nowhere turn my eyes but the sight was connected with +this dear idea, and recalled past delights, never more to return. Our +back windows looked into the garden, on which he had bestowed so much +labor and pains, and which he was just bringing to perfection. Here we +had spent many pleasant hours together, and indulged that freedom of +conversation, the natural consequence of an unbounded confidence. The +double arbor he had reared, and so contrived as to screen from both +the south and the western sun, bid fair, in a short time, to screen us +also from every eye. Hitherto we had been confined to morning hours, +or afternoon, when it was shaded by the house; but had often pleased +ourselves with the hours we should spend in this cool retreat, even at +noonday, while, screened from the sun's scorching rays, we might enjoy +the refreshing breeze through its leafy openings; but these delightful +prospects were now for ever at an end. I might, indeed, there take my +seat; but the tongue which everywhere charmed, was buried in deepest +silence. The company which rendered every scene pleasant was gone, +never to return: his sheep, his goats, nay, even the poultry, were +often fed from his hand: every thing served to distract. As for my +children, they were by kind friends kept for some time out of my +sight; for not only to view them fatherless distressed me, but their +thoughtless mirth and play was altogether insupportable. + + "I accepted an invitation from Mr. Gilbert's family to spend some +time in the country with them; for though it was impossible for me to +forget for one moment, yet, when these objects were removed from my +sight, I was more able to turn my thoughts upward, to where my heart's +treasure now is, and where I myself expect to be. We had two +men-servants, and my two Indian girls; one of the men I dismissed, the +other I left to take care of the living creatures about the place. One +of my girls I boarded where she would be in good company, and with my +children and their maid I abandoned my solitary dwelling. I met with a +very tender reception from that worthy family. My situation here was +such as I both expected and wished, and attended with many outward +circumstances which had the probability of making it supportable. I +was allowed to be as much by myself as I chose. No one intruded on my +privacy without my consent; but one or other of the Mrs. Gilberts +often visited me in my own room, and drew from my bursting heart all +its griefs, sympathizing, soothing, and advising at the same time. +They are both women of great piety, having for many years devoted +their hearts, time, talents, and fortune to the service of God; and +their two husbands likewise, whose business it has been to instruct +the ignorant negroes without fee or reward. Had it not been for this +family, I know not where the distraction of my mind might have +ended." * * * * + + + Thus was Mrs. Graham, at the early age of thirty-one, left a +widow in a land of strangers. Her husband, companion, protector, was +gone: a man of superior mind, great taste, warm affection, and +domestic habits. She was left with three daughters, the eldest of whom +was not over five years of age, and expecting an increase of her +infant charge. Of temporal property she possessed very little: she was +at a distance from her father's house: the widow and the fatherless +were in a foreign land. The change in her circumstances was as sudden +as it was great. + + That sympathizing heart with which she was accustomed to receive +and return the confidence of unbounded friendship, and thus, by +reciprocal communion, to alleviate the trials and enrich the +enjoyments of life, was chilled in death. All the pleasing plans, all +the cherished prospects of future settlement in life were cut off in a +moment. While sinking into a softened indifference to the world, in +the contemplation of her severe loss, she was, on the other hand, +roused into exertion for the sustenance and support of her young +family, whose earthly dependence was now necessarily upon her. + + Not satisfied with the custom of the island, in burying so soon +after life is extinct, her uneasiness became so great that her friends +judged it prudent to have her husband's grave opened, to convince her +that no symptoms of returning life had been exhibited there. The +fidelity of her heart was now as strongly marked as her tenderness. +She dressed herself in the habiliments of a widow, and determined +never to lay them aside. This she strictly adhered to, and rejected +every overture afterwards made to her of again entering into the +married state. She breathed the feelings of her heart in a little +poem, in which she dedicated herself to her God as a widow indeed. + + On examining into the state of her husband's affairs, she +discovered that there remained not quite two hundred pounds sterling +in his agent's hands. + + These circumstances afforded an opportunity for the display of +the purity of Mrs. Graham's principles, and her rigid adherence to the +commandments of her God in every situation. + + It was proposed to her, and urged with much argument, to sell the +two Indian girls, her late husband's property; but no considerations +of interest or necessity could prevail upon her thus to dispose of +immortal beings, the work of her heavenly Father's hand. One of these +girls accompanied her to Scotland, where she was married; and the +other died in Antigua, leaving an affectionate testimony to the +kindness of her dear master and mistress. + + The surgeon's mate of the regiment was a young man whom Dr. +Graham had early taken under his patronage. The kindness of his patron +had so far favored him with a medical education, that he was enabled +to succeed him as surgeon to the regiment. + + Notwithstanding the slender finances of Mrs. Graham, feeling for +the situation of Dr. H----, she presented to him her husband's medical +library and his sword: a rare instance of disinterested regard for the +welfare of another. + + This was an effort towards observing the second table of the law, +in doing which she was actuated likewise by that principle which flows +from keeping the first table also. Nor was the friendship of Dr. and +Mrs. Graham misplaced. The seeds of gratitude were sown in an upright +heart. Dr. H----, from year to year, manifested his sense of +obligation, by remitting to the widow such sums of money as he could +afford. This was a reciprocity of kind offices, equally honorable to +the benefactors and to them who received the benefit: an instance, +alas, too rarely met with in a selfish world. + + It may here be remarked, in order to show how much temporal +supplies are under the direction of a special providence, that Dr. +H----'s remittances and friendly letters were occasionally received by +Mrs. Graham until the year 1795; after this period her circumstances +were so favorably altered as to render such aid unnecessary; and from +that time she heard no more from Dr. H----, neither could she learn +what was his subsequent history. + + It may be profitable here to look at Mrs. Graham, contrasted with +those around her whose condition in the world was prosperous. Many +persons then in Antigua were busy and successful in the accumulation +of wealth, to the exclusion of every thought tending to holiness, to +God, and to heaven. The portion which they desired they possessed. +What then? They are since gone to another world. The magic of the +words, "my property," "an independent fortune," has been dispelled; +and that for which they toiled, and in which they gloried, has since +passed into a hundred hands; the illusion is vanished, and unless they +made their peace with God through the blood of the cross, they left +this world, and alas, found no heaven before them. But amidst apparent +affliction and outward distress, God was preparing the heart of this +widow, by the discipline of his covenant, for future usefulness--to be +a blessing, probably to thousands of her race, and to enter finally on +that "rest which remaineth for the people of God." + + Her temporal support was not, in her esteem, "an independent +fortune," but a life of dependence on the care of her heavenly Father: +she had more delight in suffering and doing his will, than in all +riches. "The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him, and he +will show them his covenant." To those who walk with God, he will show +the way in which they should go, and their experience will assure them +that he directs their paths. "Bread shall be given them, and their +water shall be sure." She passed through many trials of a temporal +nature, but she was comforted of her God through them all; and at last +was put in possession of an eternal treasure in heaven, "where neither +moth nor rust doth corrupt, nor thieves break through and steal." May +this contrast be solemnly examined, and the example of this child of +God made a blessing to many. + + In anticipation of her approaching trial, with which her own life +might be suddenly terminated, Mrs. Graham _set her house in +order_, and wrote the two following letters: one to her friend Mrs. +Grandidier, to whom and her husband Capt. Grandidier, she committed +the charge of her family and affairs; the other to her father in +Scotland, commending her children to his protection. Her tender and +affectionate appeals to each of them in respect to their own eternal +welfare, are a beautiful specimen of that Christian fidelity and love +of the souls of men which so strongly characterized her future life. + + + "ST. JOHNS, Antigua, 1774. + + "MY DEAR MRS. GRANDIDIER--The long and steady friendship which +has subsisted between us, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and +adversity, ever the same, without change or diminution, leaves me no +room to doubt that it will extend to my little family, and that you +will be as ready, to the utmost of your power, to befriend them, as +you have been to the dear father already gone, and your friend, who +is, perhaps, about to follow. + + "If it should please God to take me away in my approaching +confinement, I leave you and Capt. Grandidier full power to dispose of +every thing in this house, and belonging to me in this island, as you +shall think most for the advantage of my little family. You know my +extreme tenderness for their dear father made me unable to part with +any of his clothes, but these can be of no consequence to me when I +shall again have joined him for whose sake I kept them; you may +therefore dispose of them, and also of my own, if you think the avails +will be of more service to the children. But I do not choose to leave +any particular directions about my trifling effects; you will consult +with other friends, and I am certain you will act for them to the best +of your judgment. It is a great relief to my mind that I have such +steady and tried friends to leave the charge of them upon. Miss +G. B---- has promised to take J----, and it is my desire that the +others, and the infant yet unborn, if it survive, be sent to my +father, where I will leave them to be disposed of and provided for by +that God who has fed me all my life, by their heavenly Father, who has +commanded me to leave my fatherless children upon him, that he will +preserve them alive, and whose promise I have, that he will never +leave them nor forsake them. + + "Mr. Reid will not be less kind to the offspring of his friend +when they have lost, than when they were under a mother's protection. +May the blessing of the widow and the fatherless follow him wherever +he goes, and may God recompense him a thousand-fold in blessings +spiritual and temporal. Let Diana* be sent with my children; if +there be an infant, you know a nurse must be found for it, whatever it +cost. As for Susan,* I am at a loss what to do with her; my heart +tells me I have no right to entail slavery upon her and her offspring; +I know I shall be blamed, but I am about to be called to account by a +higher power than any in this world for my conduct, and I dare not +allow her to be sold. I therefore leave it to herself either to remain +here, or if it be her desire, to accompany the children. I beg Mr. +Reid will be kind enough to allow her a passage with the rest. + +*The two Indian girls. + + "And now, my dear friend, as the greatest happiness I can wish +you, may that God whom I have chosen as my own portion, be yours also; +may he, by his outward providence and by the inward operations of his +Spirit on your heart, lead you to himself and convince you of the +truth. But O, my dear friend, shut not your eyes and ears against +conviction. You are not satisfied that the Bible is indeed the word of +God. Is it not worth inquiring into? What would you think of a man who +had a large fortune, and the whole depending on proving some certain +facts, and yet would not be at the pains to inform himself? Are the +interests of this world of such importance, which in a few fleeting +years we must leave and have done with for ever, and our final state +in the next, which is to fix us in happiness or misery through the +endless days of eternity, not worth a thought? Think then, and +seriously ask, 'What if it be so? What if this be indeed the word of +God given by inspiration, for the rule of both our faith and manners, +and by which we are to be judged? What if this same God, who so kindly +reveals his will to men, has with it given the clearest evidences and +strongest proofs that it is his own word?' Think, I say, my dear +friend, if it should be so, what they deserve who either reject or +neglect it without taking the trouble to inform themselves, or to be +convinced that it either is or is not of divine authority. + + "How many great, learned, and wise men have sifted these +evidences with the greatest care, and the deeper they entered into the +search, the more clear they appeared, even those whose lives are +entirely contrary to it, and whose interest it is to wish it false, +cannot deny. As to the various explanations of it, it is every one's +duty to read for himself, and although there may be some parts of it +too deep for every capacity, and which may perhaps require a knowledge +of the history of the times to understand, yet the simple truths of +the gospel, what we are to believe concerning God, and what duties he +requires of us, and what he forbids, are equally plain and easy. If we +can only once be satisfied that it is indeed the word of God, set +ourselves to study it with an unprejudiced mind, with a sincere desire +to know the truth and be led by it, with earnest prayer that the same +Spirit which inspired the writers would make it plain to our hearts +and understandings, that God himself would teach us its true meaning, +and save us from error, we shall, I venture to say, be taught all +necessary knowledge, and be led in the way to eternal life, and not +suffered to err: we have God's promise that it shall be so. 'If any +man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine whether it be of +God.' + + "Forgive me, my dear friend; the subject appears to me so +important that I know not how to have done. I love you with a true +and sincere friendship: I love your soul, and am deeply interested +in its eternal happiness. Once more I commit you to that God, who +only can lead you to himself and to true happiness; and that you may +know the truth of this from deep experience, to the eternal joy, +peace, and safety of your immortal soul, is the last prayer of your +affectionate friend, who hopes to meet and rejoice with you in our +Redeemer's kingdom. + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + Mrs. Graham to her Father. + + "ANTIGUA, May, 1774. + + "MY EVER-DEAR FATHER--If this ever reach you, it will be when I +have taken my final leave of this world, and received my portion for +eternity in the next, when I hope I shall have gained the summit of my +wishes, and be happy in the society of my dear husband and much-loved +mother, in the kingdom of our Redeemer. + + "My truly orphan children I have desired to be sent to you; +though I see no visible way you have to provide for them, yet I am +perfectly easy concerning them. I leave them upon that God who has fed +me all my life, and whose tender care I have experienced in a thousand +dangers--upon their and my heavenly Father, who has commanded me to +leave my fatherless children upon him, and he will preserve them +alive. The God of providence will prepare for them a home, and raise +up friends, perhaps from a quarter neither you nor I could expect. + + "My only concern and prayer to God for them is, that they may be +early taught to love God and serve him--that they may fall into such +hands as will carefully instruct them in the principles of morality +and religion, and teach them the great, but too little thought of +truth, that our chief business in life is to prepare for death. As to +the polite parts of education, I look upon them as of no consequence; +they may be as good Christians, perhaps better, without than with +them; the perfection of their nature no way depends upon them. I am +equally indifferent what station of life they may occupy, whether they +swim in affluence or earn their daily bread, if they only act their +part properly, and obtain the approbation of their God in that station +wherein he in his infinite wisdom sees fit to place them. + + "Remember to give my love to all my dear children. I reckon all +that sprung from my dear doctor mine; and though I did not suffer a +mother's pangs for them, Heaven knows how equally I love them with +those who cost me dearer. Tell them I leave them a mother's blessing; +and my last prayers, if it please God to continue my senses, shall be +for their best interests. + + "And now, my dear father, suffer one parting word, though from +one no way entitled to advise: this is the third loud call for you to +be also ready; according to the course of nature, you must very +shortly follow; you can have very little more to do in this world, and +therefore the smallest share of your attention is due to it. The +young, the gay, the giddy, and thoughtless hold it a wise maxim to +forget their departed friends as soon as possible; this may be +worldly, but it cannot be heavenly wisdom. To be fully and entirely +resigned to the will of God in all things, is certainly the +characteristic of a Christian; but this is perfectly consistent with +the most tender remembrance. That resignation--but indeed it deserves +not the name--which consists in forgetfulness, in banishing thought +and drowning reflection in worldly cares and amusements, can be no +grateful offering to Him who has commanded us to have our loins girt +and our lamps trimmed, and to be always ready, for in such an hour as +we think not 'the Son of man cometh.' How often are we commanded to +watch, to set our affections on things above, to be dead to the world, +to lay up treasure for ourselves in heaven. These injunctions are +inconsistent with forgetfulness; and if it be our duty to meditate on +death and eternity, nothing more naturally leads our minds to that +subject than the recollection of departed friends, who, if pious, are +not lost, but only gone a little while before, taken from our earthly +and added to our heavenly treasure. + + "Believe me, my dear father, to a mind abstracted from the world +and devoted to God, death, though solemn, has nothing dreadful in it; +on the contrary, to a mind rightly disposed it is rather a desirable +object. Just conceptions of God, and converse with him, will very soon +change the aspect of the king of terrors to a welcome messenger, who +comes to set open the gates of immortality, and to usher us into the +kingdom of our heavenly Father. And now may our most gracious God +grant you, through your few remaining days, his direction and +consolation; may he bestow upon you that peace which the world can +neither give nor take away; and when the appointed time of your change +shall come, may the comforts of his Holy Spirit so cheer and refresh +your soul, that you may be able, without a doubt or a fear, to resign +it into the hands of your Redeemer. + + "Give my love to Hugh. The sentiments expressed in his letters +bespeak him a worthy brother, and deserving of my highest esteem. I +would have written to him, but I have still some directions to commit +to writing concerning my little family, and my hour is at hand; but +tell him I will remember him in my last prayers. I charge him not to +banish the idea of his worthy and now glorified mother, lest with that +he also forget her precepts; but prepare to meet us who are gone +before; and O, that our meeting may be with joy on both sides. It is +hard for youth, in the present age, to follow our Christian pattern. +Every real Christian, every Bible Christian, must lay his account with +being branded with the name of enthusiast; but tell him to remember +that the opinion of the world cannot alter the nature of holiness, nor +the maxims of Christ. Let him read, think, and judge for himself with +an unprejudiced mind; with a hearty desire to know and be led by the +truth; to be taught of God, and conformed to his will in all things, +and I venture to promise he will not be suffered to err. But let him +avoid disputes about religion, they are seldom productive of any good; +let him fortify his mind against banter and ridicule, it is no small +degree of persecution. Yet, if he be determined to follow his Lord, he +must expect to meet with it, and I know from experience it is hard to +bear. I have found the safest way is to receive it in silence; for +those who are disposed to ridicule the appearance of religion in +another, are not in a fit disposition to be convinced by any argument, +at least at that time, and few can dispute without heat, which is a +transgression against the virtue of meekness, and very apt to lessen +our love to the person who opposes us. We lose the spirit of brotherly +love in hot-headed zeal, which perhaps deserves a harder name, but +conceals itself under that appearance; and it is no small victory +gained over ourselves if we are able to love, wish well to, and be +ready to serve those whose sentiments differ from ours. + + "I leave you and yours, and mine, upon the Fountain of all +goodness, and may the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, +keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of +his Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the +Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, be among you, and remain with you +always. Amen. + + "Your ever dutiful and affectionate daughter, + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + It pleased God to preserve the life of Mrs. Graham, and to make +her the grateful mother of a son, whom she called after the name of +his father, and endeavored, in humble trust, to consecrate to the +Author of his being. + + Having now no object to induce her to stay longer at Antigua, she +disposed of her slender property, and placing her money in the hands +of Major Brown, requested him to take a passage for herself and +family, and to lay in their sea-stores. After seeing a railing placed +around the grave of her beloved husband, that his remains might not be +disturbed until mingled with their kindred dust, she bade adieu to her +kind friends, and with a sorrowful heart turned her face towards her +native land. + + + + + CHAPTER III. + + RETURN TO SCOTLAND--SCHOOL IN EDINBURGH. + + No ship offering at this time from Antigua for Scotland, Mrs. +Graham embarked with her family in one bound to Belfast, Ireland. +Major Brown and his brother officers saw her safely out to sea; and he +gave her a letter to a gentleman in Belfast, containing, as he said, a +bill for the balance of the money she had deposited with him. After a +stormy and trying voyage, she arrived in safety at her destined port. +The correspondent in Ireland of Major Brown delivered her a letter +from that officer expressive of esteem and affection, and stating that +as a proof of respect for the memory of their deceased friend, he and +his brother officers had taken the liberty of defraying the expenses +of her voyage. + + Consequently the bill he had given was for the full amount of her +original deposit; and thus, like the brethren of Joseph, _she found +all her money in the sack's mouth._ Being a stranger in Ireland, +without a friend to look out for a proper vessel in which to embark +for Scotland, she and her children went passengers in a packet; on +board of which, as she afterwards learned, there was not even a +compass. A storm arose and they were tossed to and fro for nine hours +in imminent danger. The rudder and the mast were carried away; every +thing on deck thrown overboard; and at length the vessel struck in the +night upon a rock, on the coast of Ayr, in Scotland. The greatest +confusion pervaded the passengers and crew. Among a number of young +students, going to the University at Edinburgh, some were swearing, +some praying, and all were in despair. The widow only remained +composed. With her babe in her arms she hushed her weeping family, and +told them that in a few minutes they should all go to join their +father in a better world. The passengers wrote their names in their +pocket-books, that their bodies might be recognized and reported for +the information of their friends. One young man came into the cabin, +asking, "Is there any peace here?" He was surprised to find a female +so tranquil; a short conversation soon evinced that religion was the +source of comfort and hope to them both in this perilous hour. He +engaged in prayer and then read the 107th Psalm. While repeating these +words, "he maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are +still," the vessel swung off the rock by the rising of the tide. She +had been dashing against it for an hour and a half, the sea making a +breach over her, so that the hold was now nearly filled with water. +Towards morning the storm subsided, and the vessel floated until she +rested on a sand-bank. Assistance was afforded from the shore, and the +shipwrecked company took shelter in a small inn, where the men seemed +anxious to drown the remembrance of danger in a bowl of punch. How +faithful a monitor is conscience! This voice is listened to in extreme +peril; but O, infatuated man, how anxious art thou to stifle the +warnings of wisdom in the hour of prosperity. Thousands of our race, +no doubt, delay their preparation for eternity until, by sudden death, +they have scarcely a moment left to perform this solemn work. + + Mrs. Graham retired to a private room, to offer up thanksgiving +to God for his goodness, and to commend herself and her orphans to his +future care. + + A gentleman from Ayr, hearing of the shipwreck, came down to +offer assistance; and in him Mrs. Graham was happy to recognize an +old friend. This gentleman paid her and her family much attention, +carrying them to his own house, and treating them with kindness +and hospitality. + + In a day or two after this she reached Cartside, and entered her +father's dwelling; not the large ancient mansion in which she had left +him, but a thatched cottage, consisting of three apartments. Possessed +of a too easy temper and unsuspecting disposition, Mr. Marshall had +been induced to become security for some of his friends, whose failure +in business had reduced him to poverty. He now acted as factor of a +gentleman's estate in this neighborhood, of whose father he had been +the intimate friend, with a salary of twenty pounds sterling per annum +and the use of a small farm. + + In a short time, however, his health failed, and he was deprived +of this scanty pittance, being incapable, as the proprietor was +pleased to think, of fulfilling the duties of factor. + + Alive to every call of duty, Mrs. Graham now considered her +father as added, with her children, to the number of dependents on her +industry. She proved indeed a good daughter--faithful, affectionate, +and dutiful, she supported her father through his declining years; and +he died at her house, Feb. 13, 1783, aged 75, during her residence in +Edinburgh, surrounded by his daughter and her children, who tenderly +watched him during his last illness. + + Having resided two years at Cartside, she removed to Paisley in +1778, where she taught a small school. The slender profits of such an +establishment, with a widow's pension of sixteen pounds sterling, were +the means of subsistence for herself and her family. When she first +returned to Cartside a few religious friends called to welcome her +home. The gay and wealthy part of her former acquaintances, who, like +the butterfly, spread their silken wings only to bask in the warmth of +a summer sun, found not their way to the lonely cottage of an +afflicted widow. Her worth, though in after-life rendered splendid by +its own fruits, was at this time hidden, excepting to those whose +reflection and wisdom had taught them to discern it more in the faith +and submission of the soul, than in the selfish and extravagant +exhibitions of that wealth bestowed by the bounty of Providence, but +expended too often for the purposes of vanity and dissipation. + + In such circumstances, the Christian character of Mrs. Graham was +strongly marked. Sensible that her heavenly Father saw it good, at +this time, to depress her outward condition, full of filial +tenderness, and like a real child of God resigned to whatever should +appear to be his will, her conduct conformed to his dispensations. +With a cheerful heart, and in the hope of faith, she set herself to +walk down into the valley of humiliation, "leaning upon Jesus," as the +beloved of her soul. "I delight to do thy will, O my God, yea, thy law +is within my heart," was the spontaneous effusion of her genuine +faith. She received with affection the scriptural admonition, "Humble +yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt +you in due time; casting all your care upon him, for he careth +for you." + + She laid aside her children's fine frocks, and clothed them in +homespun. At Cartside she sold the butter she made, and her children +were fed on the milk. It was her wish to eat her own bread, however +coarse, and to owe no person anything but love. At Paisley, for a +season, her breakfast and supper was porridge, and her dinner potatoes +and salt. Peace with God and a contented mind supplied the lack of +earthly prosperity, and she adverted to this her humble fare, to +comfort the hearts of suffering sisters, with whom she corresponded at +a later period of life, when in comfortable circumstances. + + Meantime the Lord was not unmindful of his believing child; but +was preparing the minds of her friends for introducing her to a more +enlarged sphere of usefulness. + + Her pious and attached friend, Mrs. Major Brown, had accompanied +her husband to Scotland, and they now resided on their estate in +Ayrshire. Mr. Peter Reid, a kind friend when in Antigua, was now a +merchant in London. This gentleman advised her to invest the little +money she had brought home--and which she had still preserved--in +muslins; which she could work into finer articles of dress, and he +would ship them in a vessel of his own/freight free, to be sold in the +West Indies. His object was partly to increase her little capital, and +partly to divert her mind from meditating so deeply on the loss of her +lamented husband. The plan so kindly proposed was soon adopted; the +muslin dresses were shipped; but she soon afterwards learned that the +ship was captured by the French. This was a severe loss, and more +deeply felt as it was received at the time when her father was +deprived of his office. + + Mrs. Brown, after consulting with the Rev. Mr. Randall of +Glasgow, the Rev. Mr. Ellis of Paisley, Lady Glenorchy and Mrs. Walker +of Edinburgh, proposed to Mrs. Graham to take charge of a +boarding-school in that metropolis. + + The friends of religion were of opinion that such an +establishment, under the direction of one possessing the +qualifications of Mrs. Graham, would be of singular benefit to young +ladies destined for important stations in society. Her liberal +education, her acquaintance with life, and her humble yet ardent +piety, were considered peculiarly calculated to qualify her for so +important a trust. + + Another friend had suggested to Mrs. Graham the propriety of +opening a boarding-house in Edinburgh, which he thought could, through +his influence, be easily filled by students. + + She saw obstacles to both: a boarding-house did not appear +suitable, as her daughters would not be so likely to have the same +advantages of education as from a boarding-school; and to engage as an +instructress of youth on so large a scale, with so many competitors, +appeared for her an arduous undertaking. + + In this perplexity, as in former trials, she fled to her unerring +counsellor the Lord, her covenant God. She set apart a day for fasting +and prayer. She spread her case before the Lord, earnestly beseeching +him to make his word "a light to her feet and a lamp to her path," and +"to lead her in the way in which she should go;" especially that she +might be directed to choose the path in which she could best promote +his glory and the highest interests of herself and her children. On +searching the Scriptures, her mind fastened on these words in John +21:15, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith +unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, +Feed my lambs." + + Never, perhaps, was this commandment applied with more filial +confidence, or accompanied with a richer blessing, since the days of +the apostle, than in the present instance. + + Her determination was accordingly made. She resolved to undertake +the education of youth, trusting that her Lord would make her an +humble instrument of training some for his service on earth, and his +praises in heaven. Here was exhibited an instance of simple yet +powerful faith in a believer surrounded by temporal perplexities, and +of condescension and mercy on the part of a compassionate God. Light +unseen by mortal eyes descended on her path. + + How weak, perhaps enthusiastic, would this have appeared to the +busy crowd, blind to the special providence exercised by the God of +heaven towards all his creatures. She felt the pressure of her +affliction; but, like the Psalmist, _gave herself unto prayer_: + + "Prayer ardent opens heaven, lets down a stream + Of glory on the consecrated hour + Of man in audience with the Deity." + + Though her faith was strong, yet her mind was under such +agitation, from her total want of funds to carry her plan into effect, +and from other conflicting exercises, as to throw her into a nervous +fever, which kept her confined to her bed for some weeks. On her +recovery, she felt it her duty to _go forward,_ trusting that He, +who had directed her path, would provide the means that were necessary +to enable her to walk in it: she sold her heavy furniture, packed up +all her remaining effects, and prepared to set out from Paisley for +Edinburgh on a Monday, in the year 1779. + + On the Saturday previous she sat by her fire musing and wondering +in what manner the Lord would appear for her at this time, when a +letter was brought to her from Mr. Peter Reid, enclosing a sum of +money which he had recovered from the underwriters, on account of Mrs. +Graham's muslins captured on their passage to the West Indies. Mrs. +Graham had considered them as totally lost, but her friend had taken +the precaution to have them insured. + + With this supply she was enabled to accomplish her object, and +arrived in Edinburgh with her family. Her friend Mrs. Brown met her +there, and stayed with her a few days, to comfort and patronize her in +her new undertaking. Mrs. Brown was her warm and constant friend until +her death, which occurred at Paisley in 1782, when she was attending +the communion. She bequeathed her daughter Mary to Mrs. Graham's care. +But in 1785 the daughter followed the mother, being cut off by a fever +in the twelfth year of her age. + + It may be proper here to introduce the name of Mr. George +Anderson, a merchant in Glasgow, who had been an early and particular +friend of Dr. Graham. He kindly offered his friendly services, and the +use of his purse, to promote the welfare of the bereaved family of his +friend. Mrs. Graham occasionally drew upon both. The money she +borrowed she had the satisfaction of repaying with interest. A +correspondence was carried on between them after Mrs. Graham's removal +to America, until the death of Mr. Anderson, in 1802. + + During her residence in Edinburgh she was honored with the +friendship and counsel of many persons of distinction and piety. The +Viscountess Glenorchy, Lady Boss Baillie, Lady Jane Belches, Mrs. +Walter Scott, mother of the poet, Mrs. Dr. Davidson, and Mrs. +Baillie Walker, were among her warm personal friends. The Rev. Dr. +Erskine, and Dr. Davidson, formerly the Rev. Mr. Randall of Glasgow, +and many respectable clergymen, were also her friends. She and her +family attended on the ministry of Dr. Davidson, an able, +evangelical, useful pastor. + + Her school soon became respectable in numbers and character. Her +early and superior education now proved of essential service to her. +She was indefatigable in her attention to the instruction of her +pupils. While she was faithful in giving them those accomplishments +which were to qualify them for acting a distinguished part in this +world, she was also zealous in directing their attention to that +gospel by which they were instructed to obtain an inheritance in that +to come. She felt a high responsibility, and took a deep interest in +their temporal and spiritual welfare. As "a mother in Israel," she +wished to train them up in the ways of the Lord. + + She prayed with them morning and evening; and on the Sabbath, +which she was careful to devote to its proper use, she took great +pains to imbue their minds with the truths of religion. Nor did she +labor in vain. Although she was often heard to lament of how little +use she had been compared with her opportunities of doing good, yet +when her children, Mr. and Mrs. B. visited Scotland in 1801, they +heard of many individuals, then pious and exemplary, who dated their +first religious impressions from those seasons of early instruction +which they enjoyed under Mrs. Graham while in Edinburgh. + + Mrs. Graham's manner in the management of youth was peculiarly +happy. While she kept them diligent in their studies, and strictly +obedient to the laws she had established, she was endeared to them by +her tenderness; and the young ladies instructed in her school retained +for her in after-life a degree of filial affection which was expressed +on many affecting occasions. This was afterwards remarkably the case +with her pupils in America. Her little republic was completely +governed by a system of equitable laws. On every alleged offence, a +court-martial, as they termed it, was held, and the accused tried by +her peers. There were no arbitrary punishments, no sallies of +capricious passion. The laws were promulgated, and obedience was +indispensable; the sentences of the courts-martial were always +approved, and had a salutary effect. In short, there was a combination +of authority, decision, and tenderness in Mrs. Graham's government, +that rendered its subjects industrious, intelligent, circumspect, and +happy. She enjoyed their happiness; and in cases of sickness, she +watched over them with unremitting solicitude and care, sparing no +expense to promote their restoration to health. + + A strong trait in her character was distinctly marked by her +educating the daughters of pious ministers at half price. This was +setting an example worthy of imitation. It was a conduct conformable +to scriptural precept. Said Paul, "If we have sown unto you spiritual +things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things? Do ye +not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things +of the temple? Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach +the gospel should live by the gospel." + + Always conscientious in obeying the commandments of her God, she +observed them in this matter, giving, in her proportion, at least the +widow's mite. + + By another plan, for she was ingenious in contrivances to do +good, she greatly assisted those in slender circumstances, especially +such as were of the household of faith. Believing that the use of sums +of ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds in hand would be serviceable by way +of capital to persons in a moderate business, she was in the habit of +making such advances, and taking back the value in articles they had +for sale. She charged no interest, being amply repaid in the luxury of +her own feelings, when she beheld the benefit it produced to her +humble friends. The board of her pupils being paid in advance, she was +enabled to adopt this plan with more facility. Were her spirit more +prevalent in the world, what good might be done. The heart would be +expanded, reciprocal confidence and affection cherished; and instead +of beholding worms of the dust fighting for particles of yellow sand, +we should behold a company of affectionate brethren leaning upon and +assisting each other through the wilderness of this world. "Look not +every man on his own things," said Paul, "but every man also on the +things of others. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law +of Christ." + + On the subject of promoting the external accomplishments of her +scholars, it became a question how far Mrs. Graham was to +countenance them in their attendance on public balls--to what length +it was proper for her to go so as to meet the received opinions of +the world in these concerns. She consulted with her pious friends, +and wrote to Lady Glenorchy on the subject. Her ladyship's letter in +reply is so excellent that the serious reader will be gratified with +its insertion. + + + "BARNTON, December 27, 1781. + + "DEAR MADAM--I received your letter last week, and also one some +time ago from Mrs. Walker, in which she desired me to send you my +sentiments upon the alteration you had made, and still thought of +making, upon your plan. + + "I have since endeavored to consider, with all the attention of +which I am _at present_ capable, the arguments that may be +brought on both sides of the question; and with regard to the first +point, the _practisings_, I will frankly own, that could you send +your young ladies to one where _girls only_ are admitted, I +should more readily yield my opinion of the matter to those Christians +who have advised you to it. But as I learn that it is a promiscuous +dance of boys and girls, I must in conscience say that I look upon +such a meeting to be as pernicious in its effects upon the minds of +young people, as balls and public assemblies on persons of riper +years. When you mentioned the subject to me first, I thought it had +been a practising of girls _only_, else I should then have given +you my sentiments fully upon that head. + + "As to the _reading of plays_, or any part of them, to your +young people, I must own, it does not appear to me to be expedient; it +may be productive of bad consequences, and the _good_ arising +from it is, at most, uncertain. It is, no doubt, very desirable to +enlarge young people's minds and improve their taste as well as their +persons; but such is the state of things in this world, that to attain +this to the degree wished for by every person of refined taste, some +things must be sacrificed of much greater value: for example, a girl +cannot acquire the smart, polished air of a person of fashion, without +imbibing too much of the spirit of the world. _Vanity_ and +_emulation_ must be awakened and cultivated in the heart, before +she will apply herself with diligence to outward accomplishments; nor +can her mind and taste be much improved in _polite_ literature, +without losing its relish for simple truth. I grant you, there are a +few Christians in the world who have acquired the outward +accomplishments of it, and have, by grace, been enabled to turn these +to good account--who, like the Israelites, having spoiled the +Egyptians, have made use of _their_ jewels in adorning the +tabernacle; but this can never serve as an argument on your side of +the question. If the Lord sees fit to manifest his power and grace by +plucking a brand from the burning, this is no reason why children +should be initiated into the ways of sin and folly, in hopes that some +time or other he will bring them out. We are never to do evil that +good may come; and this brings the question to a short issue. + + "Do you think it lawful for Christians to attend public places, +or to spend their time in reading plays? Do you think these things +tend, either immediately or remotely, to promote the glory of God? If +you do not, I cannot see how you, _as a Christian_, can have any +hand in introducing young ladies to the one or in giving them a taste +for the other. + + "This, dear madam, is _my_ view of the matter; but I do not +wish _you_ to walk by _my_ light. I believe all the children of God +are _taught by him_, and ought to follow the dictates of their own +consciences: I therefore pretend not _to advise_ you, but shall +endeavor to _pray_ that the great _unerring_ Counsellor may give you +divine wisdom to be your teacher, to lead you into all truth, and to +keep you from every thing inconsistent with his holy will. + + "I have met with so many interruptions since I began this letter, +that I fear that it is hardly intelligible. I shall be sorry if I have +said any thing that gives you uneasiness; your spirits seem low, and +your business does not succeed so well as could be wished: perhaps I +ought to have employed my pen in the way of consolation and +encouragement, than by throwing in fresh matter of perplexity. Sure I +am, I do not _mean_ to add affliction to the afflicted; but +rather have been impelled, from a regard to truth, to write my real +sentiments, as you desired. + + "Your friend and humble servant, + + "W. GLENORCHY." + + + In after-life, Mrs. Graham was of opinion that she and her +scholars had gone too far in conformity with the opinions and manners +of the world. A reference to this deviation from what she considered a +close Christian walk in life, will be frequently found in her +subsequent exercises. + + Lady Glenorchy being in a delicate state of health, made frequent +use of Mrs. Graham as her almoner to the poor. On one of these visits, +Mrs. Graham called on a poor woman with a present of a new gown. "I am +obliged to you and her ladyship for your kindness," said the poor +woman rich in faith, "but I maun gang to the right airth first; ye wad +na hae come, gin ye had na been sent; the Lord hath left me lately wi' +but ae goon for week-day and Sabbath, but now he has sent you wi' a +Sabbath-day's goon." Meaning, in plain English, that her thankfulness +was first due to the God of providence, who had put it into the hearts +of his children to supply the wants of this poor disciple. + + Mrs. Graham used to repeat with pleasure an anecdote of her +friends Mr. and Mrs. Douglas. Mr. Douglas was a tallow-chandler, and +furnished candles for Lady Glenorchy's chapel. The excise-tax was very +high on making those articles, and many persons of the trade were +accustomed to defraud the revenue by one stratagem or another. +Religious principle would not permit Mr. Douglas to do so. Mrs. Graham +one evening was remarking how handsomely the chapel was lighted. "Aye, +Mrs. Graham," said Mrs. Douglas, "and it is all pure--the light is all +pure, it burns bright." It would be well if Christians of every trade +and profession were to act in like manner; that the merchant should +have no hand in unlawfully secreting property, or encouraging perjury +to accumulate gains; that the man of great wealth should have neither +usury nor the shedding of blood by privateering to corrode his +treasures; that all should observe a just weight and a just measure in +their dealings, as in the presence of God. Let every Christian seek +after the consolation of Mrs. Douglas, that the light which refreshes +him may be pure. + + It being stated as matter of regret, that poor people when sick +suffered greatly, although while in health their daily labor supported +them, Mrs. Graham suggested the idea of every poor person in the +neighborhood laying aside _one penny a week_ to form a fund for +relieving the contributors when in sickness. Mr. Douglas undertook the +formation of such an institution. It went for a long time under the +name of "The Penny Society." It afterwards received a more liberal +patronage, has now a handsome capital, and is called, "The Society for +the Relief of the Destitute Sick." + + In July, 1786, Mrs. Graham attended the dying bed of her friend +and patroness Lady Glenorchy: this lady had shown her friendship in a +variety of ways during her valuable life; she had one of Mrs. Graham's +daughters for some time in her family, condescended herself to +instruct her, and sent her for a year to a French boarding-school in +Rotterdam. She defrayed all her expenses while there, and furnished +her with a liberal supply of pocket-money, that she might not see +distress without the power of relieving it. So much does a person's +conduct in maturer years depend upon the habits of early life, that it +is wise to accustom young people to feel for and to contribute in +their degree to the relief of the afflicted and the needy. + + Lady Glenorchy was a character in whom was eminently displayed +the power of religion. Descended from an ancient family, married to +the eldest son of the Earl of Broadalbaine, beautiful and +accomplished, she was received into the first circles of society. With +her husband she made the tour of Europe, visiting the several courts +on that continent. Yet all these things she "counted but loss for the +excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord." She became a +widow while yet in the bloom of youth. She devoted herself to the +service of the Lord, and was made singularly useful. She kept a +regular account of her income, and of the different objects to which +it was applied. She built and supported several chapels in England, +and erected one in Edinburgh, in which pious ministers of different +denominations should be admitted to preach. + + She also built a manufactory for the employment of the poor, +where the education of children was strictly attended to: even the +porters' lodges on each side of her gate were occupied as schools for +the neighboring poor. Her pleasure-grounds were thrown open for the +accommodation of the numbers who usually come from a distance to +attend a communion-season in Scotland. In a year of scarcity the same +grounds were planted with potatoes for the supply of the poor. She +distributed with great judgment various sums of money in aid of +families who were poor, yet deserving. She never encouraged idleness +or pride, and often remarked that it was better to assist people to do +well in the sphere which Providence had assigned them, than to attempt +to raise them beyond it. There was so much wisdom in the active +application of her charities, as to render them both efficient and +extensive. She seldom was seen in these works of beneficence; her +object was to do good: the gratitude of those on whom she bestowed +benefits was no part of her motive, or even of her calculation. What +she did she did unto God, and in obedience to his commands; her faith +and hope were in God. + + She contributed largely to the public institutions established at +Edinburgh in her day. Of one or two of the most useful she was the +first to suggest the idea, always accompanying her recommendation with +a handsome donation to encourage the work. + + The venerable Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge +and Piety shared largely her patronage; and at her death she +bequeathed them five thousand pounds. + + She indulged the hope of seeing a union of exertion, among all +Christian denominations, for sending the gospel to the heathen. How +delighted would she have been with the missionary societies of +London and elsewhere, had her life been spared to behold their +extensive operations. + + She sold her estate of Barnton that she might apply the money to +a more disinterested object than her personal accommodation, and that +her fortune might be expended with her life, "I recollect here," said +Saurin in one of his sermons, "an epitaph said to be engraven on the +tomb of Atolus of Rheims: _He exported his fortune before him into +heaven by his charities--he Has gone thither to enjoy it_." + + This might be truly said of Lady Glenorchy. In her manner she +discovered great dignity of character tempered with the meekness and +benevolence of the gospel. Her family was arranged with much economy, +and a strict regard to moral and religious habits. She usually +supported some promising and pious young minister as her chaplain, +which served him as an introduction to respectability in the church. +With very few exceptions, all those who entered her family as servants +were in process of time brought under religious impressions. So far it +pleased the Lord to honor her pious endeavors to render her family one +of the dwellings of the God of Jacob. + + Mrs. Graham had the honor of attending the death-bed, and of +closing the eyes of this distinguished child of God. It had been Lady +Glenorchy's express desire that Mrs. Graham should be sent for, if +within twenty miles of her, when such attendance should be necessary. + + The following letter to a daughter, two months later, gives us +another illustration of the self-denial and anxiety for the salvation +of the soul, with which Mrs. Graham personally ministered to the needy +and the suffering, and how skilfully she improved these scenes for the +benefit of others. + + + "EDINBURGH, September, 1786. + + "MY DEAR DAUGHTER--Such a scene as I have been witness to!--poor +M. B---- is gone to her last abode; her state is fixed for ever. I +attended her sick-bed for eight successive days and nights, except +perhaps for an hour that I lay down in the same room. I held by life +to the very last, because I feared she was not in a fit state to die. + + "She took every medicine that was prescribed for her, which I +administered with my own hand; but the time appointed to end her +mortal state had arrived, and go she must. She lived four days after +the physicians had lost all hope, and I think I never witnessed +greater distress. I watched every word with anxious care to find if +any breath of prayer was to be heard; but alas, I had no such +satisfaction. As she was insensible after the first few days, it was +not to be expected she could either think or pray. + + "O, why will sinners resist the grace of God, and spend the +precious time given to seek and find it in thoughtless folly? What can +they do, on such a bed of distress, who have no God? Time misspent and +gone--opportunities unimproved and gone--calls resisted never to be +repeated--death hunting the soul through every avenue of life--a +dreadful, unknown, unthought of eternity at hand--an awful Judge, and +no Advocate secured to plead. A time was when a kind Saviour was +expostulating with them: 'Why will you die?' 'Hear, and your soul +shall live;' 'Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find; +knock, and it shall be opened unto you;' 'Look unto me and be ye +saved, all ye ends of the earth;' 'Let the wicked forsake his way, and +the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return unto the Lord, +and he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will +abundantly pardon;' 'Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the +waters'--blessings purchased by Christ: pardon of sin, reconciliation +with God, a new heart and spirit, all that is necessary for time and +eternity--'He that hath no money,' no merit, no good about him, no +claim upon any account whatever, 'come, buy and eat, without money and +without price;' 'Why spend ye your money,' time, talents, affections, +desires, 'for that which is not bread,' and cannot satisfy? 'incline +your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live, and I will +make an everlasting covenant with you. Now is the accepted time; now +is the day of salvation. To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not +your heart.' + + "Such is the language of the dear Redeemer to sinners every day, +in his written word, from the pulpit, and in the dispensations of his +providence; but O, the madness of sinners, who will not think, who +will not attend, will not apply to this Saviour, whose sole errand +into this world was to seek and to save sinners, yea, the very chief; +but they will not put their souls into his hands, nor give him any +service. A time will come, and we are forewarned of it, when this same +inviting Saviour will say, 'Because I have called and ye refused, +stretched out my hand and no man regarded, I also will laugh at your +calamity, and will mock when your fear cometh.' + + "Improve this dispensation, my dear child; beg of the Lord to +search you and try you, and see that your hopes be well grounded. + + "Your affectionate mother, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + The following to her beloved friend Mrs. Walker, shows the +impressions made on the mind of Mrs. Graham by visiting _the place +of her nativity and the scene of her struggles with this world's +adversity_, when the hand of God was heavy upon her. + + + "EDINBURGH, September, 1787. + + "MY DEAR MADAM--I have been on a jaunt for nearly three weeks; my +school mostly dismissed, the remainder I left with Miss S----. +Goodness and mercy have followed me, and the Lord has taken care of my +house also in my absence. Yours was put into my hand on my return, and +brought fresh cause of thankfulness; your observation, that we were +mutually feeding on the same allowance, continues to hold. I too have +been considering the works and doings of the Lord, and many of them +have been renewed in my memory by the scenes I have passed through. + + "I visited the seat of my juvenile years with my dear and only +brother. There I recollected the days of my vanity, and the Lord's +patience and long-suffering; my repenting, my returning, his +pardoning, his blessing; my backslidings, his stripes and +chastisements, his restoring and recovering, yea, many and many times. +There, too, I found my old acquaintances no more; most of them had +finished their course under the sun; some I could still clasp in the +arms of faith, as united to the glorious Head, and now singing the +song of Moses and the Lamb. From the idea of others, I was obliged to +turn away and say, 'The Judge of all the earth shall do right.' + + "I recollected a lowly cottage, where lived a pious father, +mother, two daughters, and a son; where the voice of prayer seldom +ceased, the voice of complaint was seldom heard: not one stone +remained upon another; only the bushes which surrounded it, and the +ruins of a little garden, the seat of secret communion of each with +their God in turn; for one little earth-floored place was all their +house-convenience, and in the winter's storm their little cow-house, +built under the same humble roof, was their secret temple. I found +three had gone to glory: of the other two I could learn no tidings; +but I shall see them one day in very different mansions. I saw others +spreading like a green bay-tree, adding field to field, and dwelling +alone, servants and dependents excepted. + + "I saw my father's cottage, in the day when the Lord pressed +him down, and the place where my dear glorified-mother poured out +many prayers for me and mine; my own retirement too, after the +vanity I had seen of human life, and when tired and sick of it, I +sought to end my days in solitude, saying, 'It is enough; here let +thy servant depart in peace, and let my children be reared in +obscurity.' Then I returned to the town where my husband had +practised as a physician, where I had been respected and tasted +largely of life's comfort. I saw the house we had lived in, and many +tender scenes passed; to this same town I had returned a widow, +helpless and poor, neglected and forgotten. I saw the house where I +had taught my little school, and earned my porridge, potatoes, and +salt; when I found myself totally neglected by some who once thought +themselves honored by my acquaintance; while others, once shining in +affluence, were now reduced to humble dwellings. + + "The Lord has been saying, 'Know and consider all the way by +which I have led thee, to prove thee, and try thee, to show thee what +was in thy heart, that he might do thee good in thy latter end.' He is +now saying, 'Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;' +'Occupy till I come.' Oh, for a thankful heart, a loving, a zealous +heart, a meek and humble heart. Oh, for diligence and steadiness in +the path of duty, a due sense of our own weakness and inability, of +the Lord's power and all-sufficiency, and firm faith in the same. Give +my love to ----, she is the Lord's: her heavenly Father mingles her +cup; not one unnecessary bitter drop shall be put into it; bid her +trust in the Lord; the time, the set time for deliverance shall come. +I can witness, with many thousands on earth, and an innumerable +company in heaven, that he is the best of masters. I have suffered +much, yet not one word of all that he has said has failed. I expect to +suffer more; but whatever bitter draughts may yet await me, I would +not give one drop of my heavenly Father's mixing for oceans of what +the world styles felicity. + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + Under another date she adds: + + "When we trace the tenderness of our Daysman's conduct through +the whole of his tabernacling here below, and add to this the many +gracious words which he spoke, and to these again what were spoken by +the disciples by his authority, can we refuse to cast all our burdens +on him, and to trust him with ourselves and them? You know how sweet +it is, in the time of tumultuous distress, when the spirit is +overwhelmed, when God's mercy seems clean gone for ever, and his +promise to fail, how sweet to get even a lean upon the Saviour; but +when he, as he does at times, takes the soul out of itself, and away +from forebodings, reasonings, and suppositions, to his own divine +attributes, and gives it a believing view of its interest in them all, +in his wisdom as unerring, his power as almighty, his goodness as +boundless, his faithfulness unchanging; when we add to these his +humanity, and consider that our High-priest was in all points tempted +as we are, yet without sin, and that he has a feeling for our +infirmities; when we find him listening to every petition--a widowed +mother for her son--the centurion for his servant--weeping with two +sisters over a brother's grave--embracing and blessing the little +children whom mothers, like you and me, pressed through the crowd, in +spite of the reprehensions of disciples, to present to him--accepting +the effusions of Magdalene's penitent heart with tender consolation, O +how near does this bring the Divinity to us, and how sweetly may we +confide in such tenderness. Oh my friend, He rests in his love. Let us +rest in our confidence. All shall be well." + + + When Dr. Witherspoon visited Scotland in the year 1785, he had +frequent conversations with Mrs. Graham on the subject of her removal +to America. She gave him at this time some reason to calculate on her +going thither as soon as her children should have completed the course +of education she had proposed for them. She had entertained a strong +partiality for America ever since her former residence there, and had +indulged a secret expectation of returning. It was her opinion, and +that of many pious people, that America was the country where the +church of Christ would preeminently flourish. She was therefore +desirous to leave her offspring there. + + After some correspondence with Dr. Witherspoon, and consultation +with pious friends, her plan received the approbation of the latter; +and having had an invitation from many respectable characters in the +city of New York, with assurances of patronage and support, she +arranged her affairs for quitting Edinburgh. The Algerines being then +at war with the United States, her friends insisted on her chartering +a small British vessel to carry herself and family to the port of New +York. This increased her expenses; but Providence, in faithfulness and +mercy, sent her at this time a remittance from Dr. Henderson, the +young friend of Dr. Graham, who succeeded him as surgeon of the +regiment; and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by Lady +Glenorchy, as a mark of her regard, was now of great use to her. + + Thus in the month of July, 1789, Mrs. Graham once more prepared +_to go into a land which the Lord seemed to tell her of_. + + The two following extracts from her private journal, indicate the +state of her mind and heart previous to leaving Edinburgh. + + + "EDINBURGH, March, 1789. + + "Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and +let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49: 11; the Lord's promise, which he +made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the +subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual +sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was +left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange +land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without +friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every +necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a +way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling +the bounds of my habitation. + + "For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the God of +providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I +cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been +the chief matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have +wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to +bestow--even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My God knows I +have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of +God for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may +best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I +have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal +life: God knows what share of these consists with their better +interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have +asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust +in him for, and for which I think I have his promise--even the life of +their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my petition for me and mine; +verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11." + + "EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789. + + "This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his +servant Mr. R----, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to +write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that +God is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can +content me, nothing more do I desire. + + "This great I AM is my portion--what can I ask beside? He hath +opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to +choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich +testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every +blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there +promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full +performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast +said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I +sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean; from all your +filthiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart +also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I +will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give +you a heart of flesh; and I will put my Spirit within you, and cause +you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments and do +them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers: +and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.' Amen; Lord, do +as thou hast said. Behold, I take hold of thy covenant for myself +and for my children. It is well ordered in all things, and it is +sure. My heart accords to every part of it. Wilt thou guide us by +thy counsel while we live, and afterwards receive us to thy glory? +Amen and amen--do as thou hast said. + + "If we forsake thy laws, and go astray; if we depart from thee +and break thy commandments, wilt thou visit our faults with rods, and +our sins with chastisements. Blessed promise; amen, Lord, do as thou +hast said: seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us, and thou wilt +not cast us off from being thy people, nor alter that which thou hast +spoken; wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye? wilt thou cover +us with the shadow of thy wing? Art thou my Husband? art thou the +Father of my fatherless children? wilt thou be the stay of these +orphans, and their and my shield in a strange land? wilt thou perfect +what concerns us? wilt thou care for us? wilt thou _never leave us, +never forsake us_? in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy +rod and staff support us? What can thy servant say but, Amen, do as +thou hast said." + + + + + CHAPTER IV. + + SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR + DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON. + + MRS. GRAHAM, after a pleasant though tedious voyage, landed in +New York on the 8th day of September, 1789, where she and her family +were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence. The late +Rev. Dr. Rodgers and Rev. Dr. John Mason were especially kind to her. +She came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher +branches of female education; and the favorable change effected by her +exertions was soon visible in the minds, manners, and accomplishments +of the young ladies committed to her care. She opened her school on +the 5th of October, 1789, with five scholars, and before the end of +the same month the number increased to fifty. She not only imparted +knowledge to her pupils, but also, by her conversation and example, +prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to +practical advantage. While she taught them to regard external +accomplishments as ornaments to the female character, she was careful +to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of +all, and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid +foundation for morality and virtue. The annual examinations of her +scholars were always well attended, and gave great satisfaction. +General Washington while at New York honored her with his patronage. +The venerable and amiable Bishop of the Episcopal church in the state +of New York, then the Rev. Dr. Benjamin Moore, was never once absent +from those examinations. She was sensible of his friendship, and +always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect. + + She united in communion with the church under the pastoral care +of the Kev. Dr. Mason. This excellent man was her faithful friend and +wise counsellor. Under his ministry her two daughters, Joanna and +Isabella, joined the church in the year 1791. Her eldest daughter +Jessie, who had made a profession of religion in Scotland, was married +in July, 1790, to Mr. Hay Stevenson, merchant of New York, and she +became a member of the church under the care of Dr. Rodgers, where her +husband attended. + + In the year 1791 her son, who had been left in Scotland to +complete his education, paid his mother a visit. Mrs. Graham, +considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son, +had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend, +who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education. The +boy had a warm affectionate heart, but possessed, at the same time, a +bold and fearless spirit. Such a disposition, under proper management, +might have been formed into a noble character; but he was neglected, +and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor. + + For two years of his life he was under the care of Mr. Murray, +teacher of an academy at Abercorn. He was a man truly qualified for +his station. He instructed his pupils with zeal; led even their +amusements; and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of +a friend. He loved, and was therefore beloved. Under his +superintendence John Graham improved rapidly, and gained the +affections of his teacher and companions. Happy for him had he +continued in such a suitable situation. He was removed to Edinburgh +to receive a more classical education. Being left there by his +mother and sisters, the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity +for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an +apprentice in the merchant-service. He was shipwrecked on the coast +of Holland, and Mr. Gibson of Rotterdam, a friend of Mrs. Graham, +took him to his house, and enabled him to come to the United States. +He remained at New York for some months. His mother deemed it his +duty to return to Scotland to complete his time of service. He +evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor; she therefore +fitted him out handsomely, and he embarked for Greenock in the same +ship with Mr. John M. Mason, the only son of Dr. John Mason, who +went to attend the theological lectures at the Divinity Hall +in Edinburgh. + + The following extract shows the anguish of Mrs. Graham's mind in +parting with her son, and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of +her God, placing a blank, as to temporal things, in her Lord's hand, +but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of +spiritual life. + + + "NEW YORK, May 20, 1791. + + "This day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart: he is +again launched on the ocean, God's ocean. The Lord saved him from +shipwreck, brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge +the yearning of my heart over him. Short has been the time he has been +with me, and ill have I improved it: he is gone from my sight, and my +heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the widow's +son--'the only son of his mother, and she a widow,' + + "I ask nothing in all this world for him: I repeat my +petition--save his soul alive; give him salvation from sin. It is not +the danger of the seas that distresses me; it is not the hardships he +must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this +world: it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in +him. I discern not the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of +captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, O this is what +distresses me: and in connection with this, his being shut out from +ordinances, at a distance from Christians; and shut up with those who +forget God, profane his name, and break his Sabbaths. + + "O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me; thy ways of dealing +with me and mine have not been common; add this wonder to the rest: +call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord, +all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his +kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him +over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters +are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy +gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou +saidst to me, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them +alive.' Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in +thy hand as to all temporal things. 'I wait for thy salvation.' Amen." + + + Three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded +the ship in which her son was, and although he was saved from their +grasp by a stratagem of the passengers, yet all his effects were taken +away from him. In the following reflections on this event, the anxious +mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into +her Redeemer's hands. + + + "NEW YORK, August 18, 1791. + + "Thus far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice. +This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. Mason, that my +son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help, he +escaped; but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and +I made up with so much care, labor, and expense, they have carried +off, and he is once more left naked. Satan and a corrupt heart unite +in tempting me to complain. Dare I utter a word or harbor a +murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the +Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not +my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for +my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of +afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my +choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a +sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the +worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in God have been +highest, and prospects for eternity brightest. + + "Has the Lord given me in some measure victory over the world? Do +its honors, riches, and gaudy splendor appear to me empty and vain, +and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment +by the way through this wilderness seem all that is necessary? and is +it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in +kind and degree which he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that +for my child which I despise for myself? Alas, Lord, it is because he +feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better +portion. Still, still foolish. Was it when I was full, or when in +want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked +and persisted in asking for my children, salvation from sin and self? +Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of +submission and resignation to thy will--to enjoy God in all things, +and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I complain when I see the +Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself, +and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first +tasted the blessedness of his chosen? + + "Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll them all over upon thee. I +will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together +for good to their souls, and that I shall yet see the day, or if I see +it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footstool, sink +into the open arms of thy mercy in Christ, melted down in holy, +humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with +them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall +sing as I do now, It hath been very good for me that I have been +afflicted. I wait for thy salvation. Amen." + + + Again we mark her trust in God in the more common events of life, +and her gratitude in the reception of blessings from his hand. + + + "NEW YORK, September, 1791. + + "Many have been my burdens of late; strangers laid upon me to +provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all +their due and provide for my own family. But what is that to me? the +Lord increases business, lays more largely to hand, bears me and my +burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well: give +when thou wilt, and call for it again when and for what purpose thou +wilt; it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is +thine; the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy +will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a way which I +know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety +still. Amen." + + + "NEW YORK, October 10, 1791. + + "This day did the Lord's sent servant, in a solemn manner, take +us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once +more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's, and that once more Christ +and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same +day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the +Redeemer's table among his professing people, and, I have reason to +think, given their hearty assent to his covenant. + + "Glory, glory, glory, to the hearer of prayer. I have cast my +fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my +confidence. _One thing_, one only thing have I asked for them, +leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld as consisting with +that: I seek for my four children and myself, first of all, _the +kingdom of God_. + + "My God from day to day adds many other comforts, and strengthens +my hopes by promising appearances, that _the grain of mustard +seed_ is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined +themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord +has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them +willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they +have made. + + "Saturday, September, 1791, the Lord made me a grandmother, +assisted my poor weakly girl, and gave a son to her and my arms. +'There was joy that a man-child was born into the world,' and +according to that word 'she remembered no more the anguish.' + + "Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a +small thing with thee. Look, O look on this twig from a guilty stock; +poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and +still less for its soul. O God of _the spirits of all flesh_, +give it a plunge in _the blood of Jesus_--cleanse, O cleanse him +from original sin, and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and +mysterious way, sow _the grain of mustard seed_ in his soul." + + + In the spring of 1792, Mrs. Graham and her family were called to +a severe trial by the translation of their beloved pastor, Dr. Mason, +to a better world. A few months before his decease, while preaching to +his people, his recollection failed, his sermon was gone from his +mind, and he sat down in his pulpit unable to proceed. After a short +pause, he arose and addressed his people in a pious and affectionate +strain; he considered this event as a call from his heavenly Master to +expect a speedy dismission from the earth, and solemnly admonished +them also to be prepared for the will of God. His people, who loved +him, were affected to tears. An illness soon followed, which +terminated in the death of the body. He departed on the night when +Mrs. Graham took her turn of watching with him, and she closed his +eyes, which she always accounted a privilege and honor bestowed upon +her by her divine Master. But this tender and affecting scene is best +described in a letter which she wrote to her sympathizing friend Mrs. +Walker, of Edinburgh. + + + "NEW YORK, April, 1792, Sabbath noon. + + "MY DEAR MADAM--It is not my custom to take my pen on this day +even to write to a Christian friend, having occasion for the whole +time with my family or in secret with my God; but I cannot go to +dinner, I cannot eat, I cannot talk to my girls; my heart must bleed +afresh on the same altar upon which it has often been pierced. O, +madam, my dear Dr. Mason goes, and leaves me here alone: in all +probability his course is nearly finished, and his crown awaits him. +Five physicians now attend him closely. I have seen him often, and he +says, 'All is well, all will be well,' Of the physicians he said, +'Yes, yes, it is very well; they are useful men in God's hand; they +may be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a little. If it be +raised to usefulness, I am content; if not to usefulness, I do not +desire it. I feel no concern about the issue of this; the will of the +Lord be done.' + + "I say, Amen; but Oh, I feel alone. I should need large +communications from his Master to fill up this blank. I cannot write +for weeping; now my face is so swelled I cannot go to church. I called +at his house this morning, found the doctors in the parlor, and +learned from them the worst. The bell was ringing for church. I +stifled as much as possible my grief; would fain have come home to +give it vent, but durst not be absent from the house of God. I heard a +stranger in Dr. Rodgers' church; our doors are closed; his text was, +'Henceforth I call you not servants, but friends;' he ran the parallel +between human friendship and that subsisting between Christ and his +disciples. I ought to be comforted, nay, I am comforted. + + "The Bible lies open before me; it is full of consolation; but +all is in prospect. I look at God, what he is in himself, what he is +to his people _now_ and what he will be to _eternity_: the +consolations of hope are mine; but for the present, I feel like the +sparrow on the house-top, or like a pelican in the wilderness; and +when I think on my years and the robustness of my constitution, and +that I may have a long journey before me, I am not able to look at it. +At the same time, when I consider my children, who, having lost their +pastor, who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace, have double +need of a mother, I dare not indulge a wish, far less put up a +petition for release. O, that I could get under the influence of that +spirit which I have witnessed in my dear pastor--that entire +confidence in God--that perfect resignation to his will--that +complacency in all he has done, is doing, or will do--that rest in +God, of which he seems to be put in possession even now, while his +breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows, and he cannot +fetch one full breath. O, what cannot God effect. + + "SUNDAY EVENING. I have again seen my dear pastor, and discern +the clay dissolving fast. The words of dying saints are precious, and +his are few. He thus accosted me: 'I am just waiting the will of God; +for the present I seem a useless blank in his hand; I can say very +little; be not too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to the +church; my life or death is but a trifle; if the Lord have any use for +me, it is easy for him to raise me up still; and if he do, it will be +agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men; if he should not, you +will all be cared for; leave all to him and seek his glory.' He could +say no more, nor will I to-night, but address myself to our Lord on +his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear concerns. + + "Several days have elapsed since I last wrote; our dear doctor +still lives, often recruits, and again is reduced; but man can do no +more; my last page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him. + + "As to myself and family, we are as the Lord would have it with +us, and I make no doubt as we need. Business very full; a house full +of boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to feel the effects of +fatigue or age, I know not which. The almond-tree flourishes; those +that look out at the windows begin to be darkened; but the keepers of +the house stand firm, and all the wheels and springs discharge their +office, though more heavily; there is no judging of my days by present +appearances. Well, let me once more return to my rest--_God_; +commit my way to him, who shall bring to pass what is best, and in the +end shall complete my happiness. + + "APRIL 23, MONDAY. It is finished. My dear minister's bitter +draught is over. On Thursday, the 19th of this month, a quarter before +ten o'clock, A.M., the Lord received his spirit and laid his weary +flesh to rest. He had a sore conflict with the king of terrors, who +seemed allowed to revel through every part of his mortal frame: his +legs were mortified to his knees; he had not been able to lie down for +four weeks, and died in his chair. Like his Master, he groaned, but +never complained: he had a draught of his Master's cup, but the bitter +ingredient _desertion_ made no part of it. I had the honor to +close his dear eyes, and to shut those dear lips from whence so many +precious truths have proceeded, and to mix with the ministering +spirits who attended to hail the released. This honor I had desired, +but did not reckon myself worthy, and hardly hoped for it; but the +Lord saw the wish, though never formed into a petition, and indulged +me. I bless him for it. And now, farewell human friendships; let me +gird up the loins of my mind, and run with patience the little +further, looking unto Jesus, and following also him my pastor, 'who, +through faith and patience, now inherits the promises.' + + "This is a great work finished. Dr. Mason was 'a city set on a +hill.' He was with the army during all the war after the evacuation of +New York; had great influence over the soldiers; preached the gospel +of peace uniformly, but never meddled with politics, though he was +fully capable. In every situation the Lord supported him in uniformity +and consistency of character, and carried him through without a single +spot or stain. Glory to God in the highest for this repeated proof of +his faithfulness. 'Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright, for +the end of that man is peace.' + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + Great was the grief of Dr. Mason's congregation on his removal. +In him, to great learning were united meekness, prudence, diligence, +and knowledge of the world, and an affectionate superintendence of the +interests, spiritual and temporal, of his flock. He so arranged his +avocations and studies in regard to time, that he had always a few +hours in the afternoon to devote to visiting the families of his +congregation. So regular was the order he observed, that Mrs. Graham +and her family knew when to calculate on seeing him, and always +expected him with the anticipation of profit and pleasure. Once every +week they were sure of seeing him, if in health. His visits were +short, his conversation serious, awakening, instructive, and +affectionate. He inquired about their temporal affairs, and in cases +of difficulty gave them his best advice. His counsels were salutary; +his knowledge of the world and his discrimination of character +rendered him well qualified to advise. In one of his visits to Mrs. +Graham she mentioned to him the want of good servants as one of her +trials. "Mrs. Graham," said he, "have you ever prayed to the Lord to +provide good servants for you? Nothing which interests our comfort is +too minute for the care of our heavenly Father." + + To one of her daughters, who felt a strong inclination to profess +her faith in Christ by joining the communion of his church, but yet +was afraid that her heart was not sufficiently engaged for the service +of God, Dr. Mason proposed the following question: "If," said he, "the +world, with all its wealth, pleasures, and power, were placed in one +scale, and Christ alone in the other, which would your heart freely +choose as a portion?" On her replying there would be no hesitation as +to her choice of Christ, he gave her encouragement to profess her +faith, although it might not at present amount to the full assurance +of hope. + + He was indeed a faithful shepherd of his flock, and his people +mourned for him as for an affectionate father. It is much to be +desired that his example were more followed by Christian pastors. To +preach with eloquence and acceptance is a talent of great value in a +minister of the gospel; this makes him respected, and his congregation +admire him, because, for one reason, they are proud of him; but to +gain their affections, to make a congregation the children of an aged +pastor, or the friends and brethren of a younger one, let the minister +visit the families of his people; this will seal on their hearts the +regard which their understandings had already dictated. + + Very few ministers have been more remarkable for a strict +attention to this duty, than the late Dr. John Mason and his venerable +and attached friend Dr. Rodgers. When the former died, the latter +exclaimed, "I feel as if I had lost a right arm." + + The congregation, bereaved of their pastor, wrote immediately to +his son, the late Rev. Dr. John Mitchell Mason, to hasten his return +from Edinburgh to New York; and after preaching to them with great +acceptance for several months, he was ordained and installed pastor of +the church in April, 1793. Mrs. Graham entertained for him the most +affectionate attachment, and this attachment was reciprocal. + + At this date we find some of Mrs. Graham's delightful +devotional exercises. + + + "NEW YORK, 1793. + + "Blessed Lord, thou hast, to the praise of thy grace, given me +the heritage of them that fear thy name; thou hast prepared my heart +to pray, and inclined thine ear to hear; thou hast drawn me into thy +fold, and hast fed me in thy green pastures. I rejoice in Israel's +Shepherd; not one of his flock shall be lost. Often have I wandered +from his presence and sought pasture among the swine, but my Shepherd +has ever drawn or driven me back. He has a rod and I have felt it; but +I bless the hand and kiss the rod. + + "O, how wonderful to look back and see 'all the way by which he +has led me, to prove me, to try me, to show me what was in my heart, +that he might do me good at my latter end.' Amen, my God, I leave +myself in thy hands. I should lose myself; but thou wilt keep me from +foes without and foes within. What then have I to care for? My +Shepherd careth for all; he slumbers not nor sleeps, and he will +perfect what concerns me; of this I am as sure as that I now write it. + + "The law of thy mouth is better unto me than gold and silver. O +how I love thy law, it is my meditation all the day. Thou, through thy +commandments--or the whole of thy truth--hast made me wiser than my +teachers. The law of God makes the simple wise. How sweet are thy +words unto my taste, yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth. Through thy +precepts I get understanding, therefore I hate every false way. 'Thy +word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.' How safe, how +happy are they who are taught by the word of God. 'Blessed art thou, +Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood hath not taught thee this, but my +Father who is in heaven.' + + "O my children, enrich your minds with a full acquaintance with +the word of God; lay it up in your memories, when you can do nothing +more; be assured, if ever you are made wise unto salvation, it must be +by this word; if ever you are taught of God, he will teach you by the +words contained in the Bible. 'Search the Scriptures, for they are +they which testify of me;' search the Scriptures, for in them are +contained the words of eternal life. 'Be followers of them who, +through faith and patience, now inherit the promises.' + + "Holy David went forward, heavenward, improving in the knowledge +of God, of himself, and of God's plan of salvation for ruined sinners, +by studying the word, the works, and the providences of God, but +chiefly the word of God; praying for, watching for the influences of +God's Spirit on his judgment and thinking powers: it was by this that +he became wiser than his teachers. He was a king, and had the cares of +the nation to occupy his mind; he was a man of war, and had that art +to study. But O, the privilege of the Christian! he goes through every +part, even of his earthly way, leaning upon God. David could say, even +of war, 'The Lord teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.' +'The Lord subdued the people under me.' In temporals and in +spirituals, he is my shield, my strength, my buckler, my strong +tower.' I shall not fear what man can do unto me.' 'In Judah's land +God is well known; there he brake the spear, the bow, and the battle.' +He ascribes all to God. We hear nothing of his own wisdom, his +disciplined armies, his order of battle and warlike powers, though +attention to all these was his duty, and not neglected by him. He +devoted all his natural talents to God; he exercised them diligently, +but still he knew and acted under the influence of that knowledge, +that unless the Lord build the house, the builders lose their pains; +unless the Lord keep the city, the watchmen watch in vain. He, as well +as worldly men, chose the means best adapted to the end proposed. Let +natural men assert, and let it be admitted, that David knew better how +to use a sling and a stone, than mail, helmet, and sword; therefore he +chose them. But follow David until he meets the hostile foe. Do we +hear a word of his art as a slinger, as a marksman? though we may +suppose he was expert at both. 'Thou comest to me with a sword, a +spear, and a shield; but I come in the name of the Lord of hosts, the +God of the armies of Israel whom thou hast defied; and this assembly +shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear'--these are +not essential--'for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you +into our hands.' + + "How comfortably might Christians go through life did they walk +with God in their daily business and occupations, carefully observing +the leadings of Providence, cautiously avoiding either running before +or lagging behind; but in all things making their requests known to +God; at all times committing their way to him, being careful about +nothing, but to use with diligence the means of grace, and also the +means of acquiring the good things of life, leaving the issues of both +to God, in the full assurance that what is good the Lord will give. +'Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and +verily thou shalt be fed.' In spirituals and in temporals, 'the hand +of the diligent maketh rich.' Be 'not slothful in business, fervent in +spirit, serving the Lord.' + + "Lord, teach me thy law graciously, in all its perfection, its +extent, order, beauty, and harmony, and grant me all the assistance +provided to enable a lost, depraved, corrupted child of Adam, to set +out in thy good ways, to go forward, and to finish in the same course; +and all the consolation, joy, and peace which thou hast provided to be +enjoyed in a measure even here, and to be perfected in the world to +come. Amen. + + "'O Israel, return unto the Lord, for thou hast fallen by thine +iniquity.' Hos. 14. Yes, fallen, O how fallen from God the only good, +the fountain of happiness. Lost his image, which was the glory of man +in paradise. Lost that sweet complacency and delight in his +perfections and attributes which innocence enjoyed. Lost rectitude of +reason and judgment. No longer can we judge of excellence, no longer +love what God loves. Our wills no longer straight with his will, but +crooked, opposing God, and choosing evil instead of good. 'O Israel, +thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Amen, says my +soul, in thee is my help." + + + "NEW YORK, October 3, 1793. + + "'One shall say, I am the Lord's, and another shall call himself +by the name of Jacob; and another shall subscribe with his hand unto +the Lord, and surname himself by the name of Israel.' Isaiah 44:5. + + "I, as one, subscribe to the truth of all that God has said: I, +as one, subscribe my assent to all he has done. I set my amen to his +well-ordered covenant, well-ordered in all things, and sure. And this +is the covenant, even Christ, the sum and substance, for he hath given +him to be a covenant of the people. The whole and every part of it is +God's covenant. To me it must be a testament, the new testament in +Christ's blood. To me it must be a covenant of gifts and promises. I +can be no party, having nothing to give; nothing with which to +covenant. He hath said, 'Thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy +help.' Amen. Be my help, my deliverer. + + "'Look unto me, all ye ends of the earth, and be saved; for I am +God, and there is none else.' I do look unto thee alone for salvation. +Thou art God; there is none else: besides thee there is no Saviour. + + "'I will pour water on the thirsty, and floods on the parched +ground. I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thy +offspring.' Amen. I yield my soul into thy hand, dry and parched, to +receive thy showers of reviving, quickening, fructifying grace." + + + Writing about this date to her beloved friend Mrs. O---- of +Edinburgh, Mrs. Graham, for the encouragement of her friend, gives +her, in confidence, the following record of her own Christian +experience: + + + "It is now. I think, thirty-five years since I simply, but +solemnly, accepted of the Lord's Christ, as God's gift to a lost +world. I rolled my condemned, perishing, corrupted soul upon this +Jesus, exhibited in the gospel as a Saviour from sin. My views then +were dark compared with what they now are: but this I remember, that +at the time I felt heart-satisfying trust in the mercy of God, as the +purchase of Christ; and for a time rejoiced with joy scarce +supportable, singing almost continually the 103d Psalm. + + "I took a view of the promises of God, and wrote out many of +them, and called them mine; and among the foremost was that in Psalm +89:30-33; and well has the Lord kept me to it, and made it good: for, +my dear friend, never was there a more unsteady, unwatchful Christian; +never did the children of Israel's conduct in the wilderness depict +any Christian's heart and conduct in the gospel times better than +mine; and just so has the Lord dealt with me. When he slew me, then I +trusted in him; when he gave me carnal ease and comfort, I forgot my +Rock and rebelled. Often did I stumble too from legality, instead of +looking at my own weakness and impotence, and trusting wholly in my +Redeemer's strength. I was wroth with myself, wondered at myself, and +thought it impossible I could be as I had been. I made strong +resolutions, yea, vows, and became a slave in means to hedge in this +wandering, worldly, vain, flighty heart; but, alas, a few months found +me where I was, with scarce a thought of God from morning to night; +prayer huddled over in words that had no effect on my heart; and the +fear of hell the chief restraint from sin or spur to duty. Then, in +general, the Lord had some affliction for me, which laid me afresh at +his feet, and made me take a fresh grasp of Christ, and a fresh view +of his covenant: then again I felt safety, joy, peace, and happiness. + + "Thus, by line upon line, by precept upon precept, aye, and by +stripe upon stripe, he taught me that I could not walk a moment +alone. This is now my fixed faith; and in proportion as I keep it in +sight, I walk safely; but I still forget, and still stumble and +still fall; but I am lifted up and taught lesson after lesson; and I +shall stumble and shall fall while sin is in me; but the last +stumble shall come, and the last stripe shall be laid on, and the +last lesson taught, and that which concerns me shall be perfected. +O, then shall I look back, and see 'all the way by which he has led +me, to prove me and try me, and show me what was in my heart, that +he might do me good in my latter end.' + + "I am often, even in this valley of darkness and ignorance, +allowed this retrospective view; and am led to say not one word of +all that he promised has failed. 'Hitherto the Lord hath helped, he +hath been the guide of my youth, and even unto hoar hairs will he +lead me;' and when he calls me to pass through the valley of the +shadow of death, I shall even then fear no evil, for his rod and +staff shall support me; and I shall enter into the presence of my +Redeemer, white and clean, dressed in his most perfect righteousness; +angels and saints shall know me in this glorious robe; my Redeemer +will acknowledge me as his ransomed, and I shall be for ever with the +Lord." + + + To Mr. A.D., Edinburgh. + + "NEW YORK, 1793. + + "I have just been reading over my dear friend's precious letters, +and am refreshed anew by the same truths and uniform experience of +every Christian; which all amounts to this, that the Lord is the +portion of his people, and that whom he loves, he loves to the end. My +soul melts with tenderness when I recollect my fellow-travellers in +the wilderness; those dear associates with whom I have so often taken +sweet counsel; who so often comforted me with the same comforts with +which they themselves were comforted. I am also led to recollect some +who have finished their warfare; some whose trials were sharp and +long, but who, through the same grace in which we trust, were +steadfast to the end; and now inherit a crown of life--the reward of +grace, not of debt. + + "I rejoice to hear that your children are promising; I think it +is the greatest comfort a parent can enjoy in this world. I have a +large share of it in my three daughters; but my prodigal is not come +to himself; he still feeds on husks, nor thinks of the plenty in his +Father's house. I had great hopes last winter; I heard he had been +very ill in consequence of very severe treatment from his captain. The +Lord has been emptying him from vessel to vessel, and I have been +waiting the issue; but mine eyes almost fail. I have great hopes that +God's time of mercy will come. I am also satisfied that it will be the +best time; but still I cry, O how long? My dear friends, I think I +would recommend it to you to _keep your children about you_. No +other had ever the influence over him that I had; and I regret that I +did not bring him with me. + + "Our young Timothy, J.M., is a perfect champion for the gospel of +Jesus; the Lord has well girded him and largely endowed him; he walks +closely with God, and speaks and preaches like a Christian of long +experience: he was ordained about two months ago in his father's +church, and a few weeks after married a lady of eminent piety, and +preached all the day, both the Sabbath before and after: no levity, no +novelty appeared in word or gesture, which is not always the case with +the best at such times. There is probably no church in New York whose +discipline is as strict, nor one which has so many communicants. He is +reckoned a man of great talents and an orator; and many of even the +idle and careless go to hear him. + + "A few Sabbaths ago he preached from these words, 'I determined +to know nothing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.' +After proving that all the Scriptures, from the beginning of Genesis +to the end of Revelation, pointed to Christ and his great work of +redemption, and asserting that that sermon could not be called the +gospel of which He was not the subject, he spoke home to his audience, +and told them that this, through the aid of divine grace, was his firm +purpose--to dwell on redeeming love. He was sure no subject would be +welcome to any Christian, where Christ was not to be found; nor would +any such subject ever convert a sinner; and therefore, if any were +about to take their place there, expecting to hear any new or strange +thing, let them not disappoint themselves. O, for a thankful heart; +the Lord has indeed done wonders for me and mine; and blessed be his +name for his mercy also, that in a remarkable manner, by a strange +concurrence of circumstances, he hedged me in to become a member of +this congregation, where I am led and fed with the same truths which +nourished my soul in Zion's gates at Edinburgh; and I am helped to +sing the Lord's song in a foreign land. Often have I been tempted to +hang my harp upon the willow, 'when Zion I thought on;' but this was, +and sometimes still is my sin and ingratitude, for I ought to build +houses, and plant vineyards, and seek the good of the land; for he has +a small vineyard here, which he waters and cultivates, and I ought to +labor therein, and do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with diligence, +and say, 'The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; heaven is +his throne, the earth his footstool,' and he fills all things and +all places. + + "'What aileth thee, Hagar?' O what a God of mercy is our God! +Often has he hailed me in some such language: 'What aileth thee?' why +is thy countenance sad? am I not better to thee than ten friends? Then +has he turned my heart to him, made me feel myself close to him; he +has suffered me to lean on his bosom, hang on his arm, and lisp out, +Abba. At such blest moments I have thought the whole earth but one +point, and from that to heaven but one step, and the time between but +as one moment; and my company here sufficient to satisfy me by the +way. At such blest moments I felt perfect, full, entire satisfaction +with all that God is, all that he does; and could trust him fully with +all my concerns, spiritual, temporal, and eternal. But, alas, by and +by, like a peevish child, I began to fret, wish this, wish that; +grieve for this, grieve for that; fear this, fear that; stagger, +stumble, fall. O what a God of patience and long-suffering. And O how +rich that well-ordered covenant, that provides suitable grace for all +these unsteady seasons. It is my greatest consolation that the Lord +knows it all. There are times when I cannot see him, but every moment +he sees me. I should fall off and leave him, but he holds me fast and +never leaves me. O blessed plan, where God secures us in safety, even +from ourselves. We have not only destroyed ourselves, and he has been +our help; but we are ever destroying ourselves, and still he renews +this help. + + "Well, what shall we say? Father, glorify thy name, and let us +lie in thy hand as clay in the potter's, till thou finish thy +workmanship, and fit us vessels of mercy, to be filled with happiness, +when thou shalt have done thy good pleasure in us, and by us, in this +world, through the grace that is in Christ Jesus, who loved us, and +gave himself for us; to whom be glory, honor, and praise in the church +below, and in the general assembly above, now and ever. Amen. + + "My love, my heart's love, to my dear Mrs. D----. I am ever your +affectionate friend, in the bonds of the gospel, + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + Early in 1793 Mrs. Graham heard, from a worthy clergyman at +Greenock, who, at her request, paid attention to her son, that he had +been very ill of a fever, and subsequently subject to epileptic fits. +In one of these he had fallen from the mast-head, and was rendered +unfit for service for many months. The gentleman to whom he was +apprenticed, permitted him to leave. In these circumstances Mrs. +Graham addressed to him the following letter: + + + "MY LONG-LOST BUT STILL DEAR SON--If this ever reach you, hearken +to the voice of your mother, your only parent, and to the voice of God +by her. O, my son, you have had a long race in the service of Satan; +he has kept you in bondage and made you his drudge. You are far +advanced in the broad way that leads to destruction--to that place of +endless torment prepared for the devil and his angels, to which Satan +is dragging you. He has even been seeking the destruction of your +body, that he might have you secure. + + "O, my son, think. Has he proved a good master? What have you +found in his service? and has he not disappointed all your gayest +hopes, and fed you with husks? Have you, my son, been happy? Are you +not obliged to drive away your own reflections? I know you are. Dare +you, my son, sit down and think over all the past, all the present, +and look forward to the future with any degree of comfort? My son, you +cannot. Hear then the word of the Lord; that Lord, that merciful Lord, +who has seen you in all your rebellion, heard every profane oath you +may have uttered, seen you rioting among the sons of Belial; yet what +is his voice to you? O, my son, it is not, 'Bind him hand and foot, +and cast him into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone; where +there is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, where the worm +dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.' No, my son, the door of +mercy is still open to you; the Lord calls, 'O sinner, thou hast +destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Only repent, so iniquity +shall not prove your ruin.' 'Hearken unto me, ye stout-hearted, that +are far from righteousness: I bring near my righteousness; it shall +not be far off, and my salvation shall not tarry.' 'Hear, and your +soul shall live.' 'Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be +saved'--saved from hell; saved from Satan and his snare; saved from +the force of corruption in your heart. + + "I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, to turn from sin +and work righteousness in your own strength; this you can no more do +than the Ethiopian can change his skin; but I do call upon you to +receive the whole of God's salvation, and power to resist sin is a +principal part of it. In God's word it is said, that the Lord gave +Christ to be a covenant to the people: we have to covenant with him on +our part; we are all poor, lost, miserable creatures, I as well as +you, by nature; but the Lord Christ is God's gift to sinners. All the +other promises are made to those who have received and accepted of +this gift; but Christ himself is God's gift to sinners--to the chief +of sinners--_to you, John Graham, by name_; and the Bible says, +to as many as receive him, to them gives he power to become the sons +of God. God gave Christ to become the price in our hand; we take this +gift, and offer back, as the price of our redemption, his atoning +sacrifice, his all-perfect righteousness; and on this ground we are +entitled, by his own plan, which he prepared from first to last, to +plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the Bible: +for the pardon of sin; yea, for an entire new nature. + + "O, my son, open your Bible, go to your knees, look out words +there fit for your case; present them humbly before God, turn all the +promises you find there, all the offers, all the calls, all the +commands, all the threatenings into prayer--for you of yourself can do +nothing--and ask that God, for Christ's sake, may pour out on you the +spirit of prayer. I know not how to have done; yet I well know, unless +the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, it will still remain hard. +O, my son, be willing to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation, +and give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will read with care the +15th chapter of the gospel of Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to +show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners. Your mother +and all your sisters are willing to follow his example; return to us, +my son. We will watch over you we will pray over you, and we will try, +by every endearing method, to restore you not only to health, but to +comfort. Your sisters wish you to come; all your friends are willing +to receive you; we will not upbraid you. + + "Do, my dear, leave Greenock; come out to us by any way you can +find, I will pay your passage here; or if you can get to any port in +America, you can write me from that, and I will get you forwarded +here; and, after you are here, if you still wish to follow the sea, we +can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this. All your friends +here send best wishes. And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. O, +that he may bless this to you, + + "Your affectionate mother, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + The last intelligence that Mrs. Graham received of her +unfortunate son was in a letter from himself, dated Demarara, 1794, in +which he states that he had sailed from Amsterdam in a Dutch vessel; +was taken by the French, and retaken by the English; had arrived at +Demarara in the ship Hope; and should he not soon hear from his +mother, would return to Europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail +under convoy. Mrs. Graham notices this event as follows: + + + "NEW YORK, February 20, 1794. + + "This day I have a letter from my poor wanderer. It is more than +a year since I heard of him. Accept of my thanks, good and gracious +Lord. I feared his cup had been full, and he called out of the world +with all his sins on his own head; for I have no tidings of his +turning from his sinful courses, or fleeing from the wrath to come, by +taking hold of the hope set before him. + + "I bless thee, Oh, I bless thee, for thy sparing mercy, thy +long-suffering, thy patience, thy forbearance. Yea, even to him, thou +hast been more than all this. Thou hast been his preserver, his +provider; thou hast watched over him in many imminent dangers, in the +great deeps, in burning and in frozen climes. + + "Thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal +bounty. He is still in the land of the living, and among those who are +called to look unto thee and live. Still thou feedest my hopes of +better things for him. Thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table +of thy covenant. I will trust, I will hope, I will believe, that in an +accepted time thou wilt hear me, and in a day of thy power thou wilt +bow his stubborn will, and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet. +Oh, I trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself, and turn +his steps towards his Father's house. See how he feeds with the swine +upon husks, and even these not his own. O turn his thoughts to his +'Father's house, where there is bread enough, and to spare.' + + "'Lord, remember thy gracious word, on which thou hast caused me +to hope,' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my +affliction, and in my straits my only relief. + + "He is again launched into thy great ocean. Lord, he is far from +every friend and from every means of grace, and for any thing I know, +far from thee by wicked works; under thy curse and hateful in thy +sight; but thou, God, seest him. Means are not necessary, if thou +willest to work without. Thou canst find an avenue to his heart at +once. Dead as he is, vile as he is, guilty as he is, far from help of +man, and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of God, +yet I know all these hinderances, all these mountains shall melt as +wax at thy presence. + + "Lord, I believe, thou knowest I believe, that if thou but speak +the word, this dead soul shall live; this vile, this guilty soul shall +be cleansed, shall be renewed, and my son be changed to an humble, +thankful, genuine child of God, through the cleansing blood of +atonement, through the imputation of the Redeemer's righteousness and +the implantation of thy Spirit. I can do nothing for him, but thou +canst do all this. I wait for it, Lord, I wait for thy salvation. +Lord, let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting.' I +roll him on thee. I trust in thy sovereign, free, unmerited mercy in +Christ. Amen." + + + All inquiries instituted by kind friends respecting this son +proved fruitless; and as a vessel named the Hope was some months after +reported as having been taken by the French, it is perhaps probable +that he died in a French prison. + + Thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and +submission, not without hope towards God that the great Redeemer had +taken care of, and would finally save this prodigal son. She had known +a case in her father's family, which excited their solicitude and +encouraged her hope. Her younger brother, Archibald Marshall, a lad of +high temper, though possessed of an affectionate heart, had gone to +sea, and was not heard of at all for several years. A pious woman, who +kept a boarding-house in Paisley, found one of her boarders one day +reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, with +Archibald Marshall's name written on the blank leaf. On inquiry, the +stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his +death-bed as a token of regard. That young man was Archibald Marshall; +he was an exemplary Christian, "and I have reason," added he, "to +bless God that he ever was my mess-mate." The woman who heard this +account, transmitted it to Mr. Marshall's family, who were known to +her. Mrs. Graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her; but +under much yearning of heart she left this concern, as well as every +other, to the disposal of that God "who doeth all things well." + + Again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation. + + + "NEW YORK, October 1, 1794 + + "'Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt +bountifully with thee.' + + "Blessed be the Lord, for he hath showed me his marvellous +loving-kindness in a strong city--Christ, the city of refuge. + + "Thou hast given me my heart's desire, and hast not withholden +the request of my lips. 'One thing have I desired of the Lord,' and +through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast +given me; 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house +of the Lord,' behold his beauty, and inquire in his holy temple; that +in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion, in the secret +of his tabernacle, and set our feet upon a rock. + + "O thou incarnate God; thou blessed temple not made with hands; +thou blessed pavilion, in which thy people hide in the time of +trouble, and are safe; thou Rock of ages, on which we build our hopes +for time and eternity, and defy the assaults of sin, Satan, and the +world: thou, Jehovah Jesus, art all these to thy people. Thou +broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay; thou +settest their feet upon this spiritual rock, and establishest their +goings; thou puttest a new song in their mouths, even praise unto +their God.' Many have seen it and sung it; many now see and sing it; +many shall see and sing it, and trust in the Lord. They find in thee +all that is expressive of life; all that is expressive of safety; all +that is expressive of comfort; all that is expressive of happiness. + + "'O how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and +thy thoughts which are to us-ward; they cannot be reckoned up in order +unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than +can be numbered.' Thou, thy blessed self, art the sum and substance of +every good to man. All this I know; all this have I at different times +experienced; and yet my heart is heavy, my spirits depressed. There is +no cause, Oh no. Thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes, +and been so many answers to my prayers. + + "Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how +fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy +worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave +my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst +preserve them alive. + + "Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a +spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life +which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow. + + "In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the +grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness; +long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed +discipline of the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I +have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for +the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I +have not waited in vain. Thou hast written _vanity,_ and opened our +eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far +as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged +servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say, +'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for +our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou +wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing. +Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said." + + + + + CHAPTER V. + + DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY + SOCIETY IN NEW YORK. + + In July, 1795, Mrs. Graham's second daughter, Joanna, was married +to Mr. Divie Bethune, merchant in New York. In the following month her +eldest daughter, Mrs. Stevenson, was seized with a fatal illness. +Possessing a most amiable disposition and genuine piety, she viewed +the approach of death with the composure of a Christian and the +intrepidity of faith. + + She had been in delicate health for some years, and now a +complication of disorders denied all hope of recovery. She sung a hymn +of triumph until the struggles of death interrupted her. Mrs. Graham +displayed great firmness of mind during the last trying scene, and +when the spirit of her daughter fled, the mother raised her hands, and +looking towards heaven, exclaimed, 'I wish you joy, my darling.' She +then washed her face, took some refreshment, and retired to rest. + + Such was her joy of faith at the full salvation of her child; but +when _the loss of her company_ was felt, the tenderness of a +mother's heart afterwards gave vent to feelings of affectionate +sorrow: nature will feel, even when faith triumphs. In her devout +meditations before God, Mrs. Graham improves this event as follows: + + + "OCTOBER 4, 1795. + + "Why, O why is my spirit still depressed? Why these sobs? Father, +forgive. 'Jesus wept.' I weep, but acquiesce. This day two months the +Lord delivered my Jessie, _his Jessie,_ from a body of sin and +death, finished the good work he had begun, perfected what concerned +her, trimmed her lamp, and carried her triumphing through 'the valley +of the shadow of death.' She overcame through the blood of the Lamb. + + "I rejoiced in the Lord's work, and was thankful that the one, +the only thing I had asked for her, was now completed. I saw her +delivered from much corruption within, from strong and peculiar +temptation without. I had seen her often staggering, sometimes falling +under the rod; I had heard her earnestly wish for deliverance from +sin, and when death approached she was more than satisfied: said she +had been a great sinner, but she had a great Saviour; praised him and +thanked him for all his dealings with her--for hedging her in, for +chastising her; and even prayed that sin and corruption might be +destroyed, if the body should be dissolved to effect it. The Lord +fulfilled her desire, and, I may add, mine. He lifted upon her the +light of his countenance; revived her languid graces; increased her +faith and hope; loosed her from earthly concerns, and made her rejoice +in the stability of his covenant, and to sing, 'All is well, all is +well; good is the will of the Lord.' I did rejoice, I do rejoice; but +O Lord, thou knowest my frame; she was my pleasant companion, my +affectionate child; my soul feels a want. O fill it up with more of +thy presence; give yet more communications of thyself. + + "We are yet one in Christ our head--united in him; and though she +shall not return unto me, I shall go to her, and then our communion +will be more full, more delightful, as it will be perfectly free from +sin. Christ shall be our bond of union, and we shall be fully under +the influence of it. + + "Let me then gird up the loins of my mind, and set forward to +serve my day and generation, to finish my course. The Lord will +perfect what concerns me; and when it shall please him, he will +unclothe me, break down these prison-walls, and admit me into the +happy society of his redeemed and glorified members: then 'shall he +wipe away all tears from my eyes,' and I shall taste the joys which +are at his right hand, and be satisfied for evermore." + + + Mrs. Graham made it a rule to appropriate _a tenth_ part of +her earnings to be expended for pious and charitable purposes. She had +taken a lease of two lots of ground on Greenwich-street from the +corporation of Trinity church, with a view of building a house on them +for her own accommodation; the building, however, she never commenced. +By a sale of the lease, which her son Mr. Bethune made for her in +1795, she got an advance of one thousand pounds. So large a profit was +new to her. "Quick, quick," said she, "let me appropriate the tenth +before my heart grows hard." What fidelity in duty; what distrust of +herself. Fifty pounds of this money she sent to Mr. Mason in aid of +the funds he was collecting for the establishment of a Theological +Seminary. Her own version of this matter we have in a letter to her +familiar friend Mrs. Walker, of Edinburgh: + + + "1795. + + "MY DEAR MRS. WALKER--My last informed you that we had been +made to taste of the Lord's visitation--the yellow-fever--but in +great mercy had been spared in the midst of much apparent danger. I +have now in my house a girl who lost both father and mother, and +many whole families were cut off; my house was emptied; my school +broken up; we confined to town, and heavy duty laid upon us at the +same time. I trembled again for fear of debt; but 'the Lord brought +meat out of the eater.' + + "Three years ago, when tried by having one house taken over my +head, another bought, and obliged to move three times in as many +years, some speculating genius brought me under the influence of the +madness of the times, and persuaded me I might build without money. It +is quite common here to build by contract. I could not purchase +ground, but I leased two lots of church land, got a plan made out, and +worried myself for six months, trying to hatch chickens without eggs. +I had asked the Lord to build me a house, to give success to the +means, still keeping in view covenant provision, 'what is good the +Lord will give.' After many disappointments I said, Well; I have +asked--I am refused--it is not good--the Lord will not give it: he +will provide, but in his own way, not mine. + + "Of course I had to pay ground-rent, which in three years +amounted to two hundred and twenty dollars. I think I hear you say, I +never could have believed that Mrs. Graham could be guilty of such +folly--nor I; but seeing and hearing of many such things, I fancied +myself very clever. Last year a basin was formed, and wharves around +it, opposite to the said lots; the epidemic raging on the other side +of the city brought all the vessels that came in round to them, and +great expectations were formed for this new basin; houses and stores +sprung up like mushrooms, and Mr. Bethune sold my lease for one +thousand pounds. Lo, and behold, part of it is already spent. All my +provision through this wilderness has been so strongly marked by +peculiar providences, my mind seems habituated to a sense of +certainty. I feel my portion of earthly good safer and better in my +Lord's hand than in my own." + + + In the ensuing year we find the following outbreathings of her +rich Christian experience: + + + "JANUARY 3, 1796. + + "'Rejoice in the Lord alway, and again I say, rejoice. Let +your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.' +Philippians 4:4-7. + + "'Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and +supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto +God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep +your hearts and minds, through Christ Jesus.' + + "Christ Jesus! what does not this name comprehend? He is mine, +and all is mine. I do rejoice in the Lord, yea, more or less, I +rejoice always. This heart of mine is sensible to every human +affliction; my tears flow often and fast: I weep for myself, and still +more for others; but in these very moments of heart-wringing +bitterness, there is a secret joy that Jesus is near; that he sees, +knows, and pities. He is Jehovah as well as Jesus, and could have +prevented the affliction under which I groan; but for my good, and the +good of those near and dear to me, he suffered it, or prepared it. The +good of his people is connected with his glory; they cannot be +separated: therefore, Father, glorify thy name; I rejoice, and will +rejoice. The Lord can remove, and will remove the affliction the +moment it has answered the gracious purpose for which it was sent. I +would not wish it one moment sooner. While it lies heavy, he is my +almighty friend, my rest, my staff of support. + + "'In the time of trouble, he shall hide me in his pavilion; in +the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon +a rock." Psalm 27:5. + + "'The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in +him, and I am helped, therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; with my +song I will praise him,' and in his strength and by his grace, let +my 'moderation be known unto all men.' My Lord is at hand--at hand +to support, at hand to overrule, at hand to deliver. Therefore I +rejoice always. + + "Blessed be God for the heart-easing, heart-soothing privilege of +casting all my cares upon him, and for the blessed assurance that he +careth for me and mine: that he allows, invites, yea, commands me to +be careful for nothing, but in all things, by prayer and supplication, +with thanksgiving, to let my requests be made known unto him, who is +man, and touched with the feeling of our infirmities--Jesus wept--and +God, the almighty God, to support, overrule, deliver. Therefore my +heart rejoiceth always." + + + "MAY 16, 1796. + + "'If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments, +if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I +visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with +stripes: nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from +him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break, +nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89: 30. Amen; +blessed promise. Oh, it is a well-ordered covenant, and it is sure. Of +all the provisions of the covenant, this has been to my soul among the +most comfortable. Thanks be to God for the discipline of the covenant; +often has it been administered: thou knowest, and I know in part, how +necessarily, although I shall not know nor understand all, until that +blessed rod shall have perfected its correction, and shall never more +be lifted up. + + "Many ups and downs has thy servant experienced in this vale of +tears; many tears have watered these now aged cheeks; in a variety of +ways hast thou stricken, and at times stripe has followed stripe, but +mercy and love accompanied every one of them. I bless thee, Oh, I +praise thee, that I have seldom received a stripe but I had with it a +token of love. Sin was imbittered, a Saviour endeared, and grace given +to kiss the rod, and cleave to him that had appointed it. And now I +can read in legible characters where, in many instances, thy check met +my wandering steps, stopt me short of huge precipices, and preserved +me from destroying even my worldly comfort. In some instances--I thank +thee they have not been many--thou hast been pleased to let me alone, +to let me pursue my own way, ways so wise in my own eyes that I have +either not sought counsel at all, or sought it as Balaam did, with my +heart set on my own will. + + "In some cases thou hast let me eat of the fruit of my own +doings, and let me weary myself in my own way, until I found it not +only vanity and vexation of spirit, but sometimes a labyrinth from +which I could find no escape: then did I cry unto the Lord; then did I +remember my backslidings; then did I seek unto the cleansing fountain +and to the appointed Mediator, the maker up of the breach: then did I +experience afresh the Lord's power to save. + + "In how many instances has he given a sudden turn to providences, +which have been made means of my deliverance; not only so, but brought +good out of my evil, so that I have been made to wonder, and to say,' +Surely this is the finger of God.' + + "I destroy myself, but in thee is my help found. O let these +wanderings end; fix it deep on my mind, that in the Lord only have I +wisdom as well as strength: that 'it is not in man that walketh, to +direct his steps.' When shall I learn to live simply on Christ, by +the light of his pure unerring word, and the Spirit coinciding; and +have done with these carnal reasonings, the wisdom of men. 'Search +me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts, and +see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way +everlasting.' Amen." + + + "MAY 28, 1796. + + "This is the anniversary of my dear Jessie's birth, no more to +call us together here; but I yet remember it as a day in which our God +Was merciful to me, and made me the mother of an heir of salvation. I +bless, I praise my covenant God, who enabled me to dedicate her to him +before she was born, and to ask only one thing for her as for myself, +even an interest in his great salvation, leaving it to him to order +the means, time, and manner, as of her natural birth and ripening age, +so of her spiritual birth and ripening for glory; he accepted the +charge, and he has finished the work, to his own glory, to her eternal +happiness, and my joy and comfort. I have witnessed remaining +corruption fighting hard against her, and bringing her again and again +into captivity to the law of sin and death warring against her. I have +seen the rod of God lie heavy upon her, according to the tenor of the +covenant, when she forsook his laws and went astray: when she walked +not in his judgments, but wandered from his way, he visited her faults +with rods and her sins with chastisements, but his loving-kindness he +never took from her, though he often hid it, nor altered the word +which he had spoken, that he would never leave her, never forsake her; +that in due time he would deliver her from all her enemies. I +perceived her desires to be delivered from the world and the body, and +taken home to the bosom of her God, since that appeared at times the +only way she could be delivered from sin. I heard her lament her +unfruitfulness, her unsteadiness: I heard her exclaim, 'Oh, what a +sinner, what a great sinner;' and, 'Oh, what a Saviour; O the goodness +of God in hedging me in, and saving me from myself; his covenant +stands fast, it is established, it is sure.' I witnessed a God +pardoning sin, yet taking vengeance on inventions. I witnessed the +sinner, after being sixteen years in the school of Christ, taught by +his ministers, and most effectually by his rod, taking shelter in 'the +city of refuge,' in the atonement of God's providing, and in 'a surety +righteousness,' and finishing her struggles with, 'All is well.' My +heart echoed, and does echo, and will to all eternity, 'All is well.' +Glory to God; sing, not unto her, not unto me, not unto any creature, +but 'to God be the glory,' that she is now delivered from 'a body of +sin and death, and made meet to be a partaker with the saints in +light.' HALLELUJAH." + + + "JUNE, 1796. + + "'I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of +the Lord.' Psalm 122. + + "'The house of the Lord, whither the tribes go up, the tribes +of the Lord, unto the testimony of Israel, to give thanks unto the +name of the Lord,' to seek his face, to learn his will, to taste his +love, to behold his' glory, to enjoy God as their own God and +reconciled Father. + + "Lord, let my heart be warmed more towards thy house; I have +sought and found thee in thy sanctuary, read thy providences, and been +taught thy will; I have tasted thy love and beheld thy glory; I have +enjoyed thy presence as my own reconciled Father in Christ Jesus; I +have been satisfied with thy goodness, as with marrow and fatness; and +yet how cold and languid at times, how little desire to return, how +small my expectations, how wandering my imagination. How do I sit +before thee as thy people, and my heart with the fool's eyes at the +ends of the earth. Lord, I should blush and be ashamed were a +fellow-mortal to see my heart at times. I may hide my eyes from +viewing vanity, but the evil lies within. O Lord, thou knowest the +cause. After all I have heard, seen, tasted, and handled of the word +of life, I am still of myself an empty vessel, unable to speak a good +word, or think a good thought. Great are thy tender mercies, O Lord. +'Quicken me according to thy word; turn thou away my eyes from +beholding vanity, and quicken me in thy way: then shall I run in the +way of thy commandments when thou hast enlarged my heart.' + + "The house of God; the owner, the builder, and maker is God, +and it is his peculiar treasure. Christ is the foundation and chief +corner-stone, and his house are we, built upon him, cemented +together, a spiritual building; the foundation cannot fail, the +corner-stone can never give way; neither can we fall to pieces, or +be separated from him. + + "The house of God; 'Jerusalem, Zion, the rest of God, where he +delights to dwell,' where he will for ever stay; the house of God, the +church, yea, the body of Christ: Christ the head, his people the +church, his members whose life is in him, and derived from him; and +because he lives we shall live also. Lord, enlarge my understanding to +comprehend more and more of the height and depth, length and breadth +of the love of Christ, which passeth all understanding. Open my eyes +to behold wondrous things in thy law and gospel. I am as yet but a +babe; glory to God that I am what I am, a babe in Christ. I shall be +nourished with life and strength from my divine Head; educated and +nurtured by the blessings of the new covenant. I shall arrive at the +perfection of stature appointed, and stand in my lot at the latter +day. Amen." + + + "AUGUST 4, 1796. + + "A day to be remembered. Rose at four, not to mourn--no, but to +repeat my grateful thanks to my covenant God for the work he finished +this day last year, in delivering my weak, feeble, tossed, and tried +Jessie from a body of sin and death, and giving her 'the victory +through Jesus Christ, who loved her and gave himself for her.' To thee +she was dedicated ere she saw the light; to thee a thousand times I +repeated the dedication, begging that thou mightest bring her within +the bond of thy covenant; this was the sum and substance of all my +askings for her. I witnessed the time of her second birth, saw the +tears of conviction and remorse. I witnessed thy loosing her bonds, +and tuning her heart and tongue to praise redeeming love. I witnessed +the teaching of thy Spirit, and the enlightening of her eyes, and the +taste thou gavest her of thy salvation; I thought her mountain stood +strong, and she would not be easily moved; but who can tell the +deceitfulness of the human heart? Too soon did we all turn aside like +a deceitful bow, forsook the fountain of living waters, and hewed out +broken cisterns that could hold no water. Glory to God for the +discipline of the covenant, that he did not cast us off, but chastened +and corrected. He repeated the discipline stripe upon stripe: I stood +by and saw it, and though my heart melted at times, I said, 'She is in +her Father's hand, let him do his pleasure.' + + "I too was unfaithful to her, thou knowest, and often entered +into the same vanity of mind, which stifled the love of God in our +hearts, instead of guarding her and warning her; still, still the +Shepherd of Israel followed after both, and with the precious rod +restored both, time after time, till it pleased thee to finish her +warfare, and deliver her from both body and sin. Lord, I thank thee +for all the circumstances, for the privilege of attending her in her +warfare, for the cheerfulness of her spirits, for the rich support we +all experienced, for the view we all had of thy faithfulness and +fatherly dealing, and for her last words, 'All is well.' O yes, every +thing thou doest is well, and this was peculiarly well. I resigned her +to thee with joy and thankfulness, and I still acquiesce. Her thou +hast taken, me thou hast left, to be yet exercised with further +discipline. It is well; thy will be done. O help me to profit by every +pang. Let sin be mortified and my soul be purified; enlarge my heart +to run the ways of thy commandments. Now may I lay aside every weight, +and that vanity of mind which doth so easily beset me, and hath been +the secret spring of much backsliding both to myself and to my +children. Lord, destroy it.. O let me now live to God, closely and +consistently; down with my will, with self in every form. O purify my +motives, and let my whole heart, soul, body, substance, and influence +in the world be devoted to thee. Empty me of every thing that is my +own, and let 'Christ live in me the hope of glory,' and let the glory +of thy workmanship in my soul redound to thee, and thee alone. Amen." + + + "AUGUST 13, 1796. + + "'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him, +rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have +been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.' Colossians 2:6. + + "O Lord, this is what I pant after. I would fain have done with +wandering, Lord, thou knowest, for the work is thine. I have +received the Lord Jesus as thy gift to a lost world, as thy gift to +me an individual of that world, as having made peace by the blood of +the cross. I account it a faithful saying, worthy of all +acceptation, that 'Christ came into the world to save sinners, of +whom I am chief,' I have received thee as the Lord my righteousness, +crediting thy own word, that 'Christ is the end of the law for +righteousness,' and that 'there is no condemnation to them that are +in Christ Jesus.' I have received thee as 'the covenant given of the +people.' In all the relations by which thou art held out to me in +this Bible, so far as I know or understand, I have received thee. I +have no hope in myself, no trust in myself, nor any views of +communication from God of any kind, but through the one 'mediator +between God and man, the man Christ Jesus.' + + "O my God, what is my life, what is my happiness but a continual +receiving? Thou art 'the bread of life' that must keep alive the +living principle in my soul. In thee 'dwelleth all the fulness of the +Godhead bodily.' Thy people are complete in thee; thou art their head, +they are thy body, and by joints and bands have nourishment ministered +to them, and are knit together, and increase with the increase of God. + + "This, O this is what my soul pants after, closer and more +intimate union and communion. I would be transformed into thine image; +I would be thy temple; I would have thee live in me, walk in me, make +me one with thee; I would be delivered from self-will, self-wisdom, +self-seeking; I would be delivered from that philosophy and vain +deceit which spoils souls and leads them off from their head: then, +and not till then, shall I cease to wander, shall 'run and not be +weary, walk and not faint.' Then shall 'I run in the way of thy +commandments,' and no longer turn aside to crooked ways. Then shall I +eat and drink, work and recreate, all to thy glory. Lord, send thy +Spirit into my heart, that he may continually take of the things of +Christ and show them unto me; that I may grow and be no longer a babe, +but arrive at the fulness of stature in Christ Jesus, and more +steadily, and more purely, and more zealously, and O, more humbly live +to God, and glorify him in the world. Amen." + + + The following extracts of letters to her friend Mrs. Walker, show +how ardently the true missionary spirit burned in the heart of Mrs. +Graham, and how efficiently it was exemplified, not only in her +pecuniary donations, but her active and self-denying efforts to +diffuse information and enlist others in so worthy a cause. The +efforts alluded to in the first extract evidently gave rise to the +event recorded in the second, _the formation of the first Missionary +Society in New York._ It is delightful also to notice her +attachment to Christians of other denominations, and the gratitude +with which she remembered kindness received by herself when Providence +had cast her lot on what was truly missionary ground. + + + "Do you remember how much I used to say about our dear Methodist +Society in Antigua? and the three holy, harmless, zealous Moravian +brethren? and how the preachers gave each other the right hand of +fellowship, forgetting their differences, in that land of open +hostilities, on the kingdom of their common Lord? Thither the Lord +brought me from a land of entire barrenness, where, as far as I know, +a gospel sermon was never preached. Here I was brought into great +affliction, and to pass through the severest trial that I ever +experienced before or since. + + "'The Lord brought me into this fold, a poor straggling lamb, who +had for five years herded among the goats; and little difference was +there between them and me, except that my soul longed after green +pastures and rejoiced to hear the shepherd's voice, and when I heard +it I knew it, though from one who did not belong to my original fold; +these good people nourished me with tenderness, bore with patience my +carnality. When my dear husband was taken ill, they wrestled for him +in prayer; Mr. Gilbert was every day with him; the Lord heard and gave +a joyful parting; yes, joyful, never did I experience such joy; then +they sympathized with and soothed the widowed heart, fed her with +promises, and in a measure established her: thus they wrought with God +in calling in one, and restoring another; never, never shall I forget +the labors of love of that dear little society. + + "How many such stragglers as I may be wandering in both East and +West Indies, and may be restored by these precious missionaries. I owe +them, of my labors, more than others. I send you a bill for _fifty +pounds._ I have received eighteen copies of the Missionary +Magazine, as far as No. 9. I have got subscribers for them all, who +will continue; pay these, and send me what more numbers have been +published by the return of the Edinburgh packet, also eighteen +complete sets from the beginning. I hope to be successful in disposing +of them also. I suppose the sermons go to the same fund; send me a +hundred sermons, I will see to get them disposed of; send them single, +not bound, and of the best; perhaps they may pave the way for more to +follow; every little helps; drops make up the ocean. We cannot yet +produce anything; we are gathering intelligence, and endeavoring to +collect money; but I grudge that what we can spare should be idle in +the meantime; the cause is one; pay the magazines at once, and the +sermons if you have enough of my money. I hope to remit again in +September. I have a great wish to have a finger in your pie in some +way; if I must not subscribe past our own society, I may sell books +for yours. + + "Ever, my dear friend, yours, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + To the same. + + "1796-7. + + "I thank my friend for her letter. I rejoice with you, and +bless the widow's God. He has indeed been so to us, to the full +amount of the promise. I have now much to sing of, little to +complain of; my dear girls and Mr. B---- go forward steadily, having +laid aside the weights of amusements and gayety, and seem determined +to follow the Lord fully through good and through evil report. Bless +the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. We have a full +school, and a very comfortable set of girls. The Lord has delivered +from all heavy burthens. + + "Last week a considerable number of ministers and lay Christians +met for the third time, and established a society for sending +missionaries among the Indians, and also among the poor scattered +settlers on the frontiers. A sermon was preached in the evening in one +of the Dutch churches, 'The liberal deviseth liberal things,' etc., +after which an address was read by the Secretary--our dear Mr. +Mason--which, when printed, I will send you. + + "The society is to keep up a correspondence with your and the +other societies. If they can effect anything themselves, apart here in +America, well; if not, they will throw their subscriptions into the +common funds and get help from you. This view is very pleasant to us. +There is great need of itinerant preachers in our back settlements; +they are scattered, and no churches of any kind; even in some thick +settled counties they will not pay a minister. These are 'the highways +and hedges;' O that the Lord may compel them to come in. + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + We next find Mrs. Graham administering consolation and imparting +instruction to a lady residing near Boston, Mrs. C----. With this lady +Mrs. Graham formed an acquaintance in New York, shortly after her +arrival in America. She was then a gay young widow; but having a +strong and cultivated mind, was delighted with Mrs. Graham and family; +and a friendship was formed between them, which ceased only with +their lives. + + As a proof of her friendship, Mrs. C---- wished to introduce her +young female friends into gay fashionable society. This Mrs. Graham +opposed; and while she stated her reasons she endeavored to persuade +her young friend to come out from the world and cast in her lot with +the people of God. + + "A word spoken in due season, how good it is." This was verified +in the case of Mrs. C----, who, like her friend, was destined to enter +the heavenly kingdom "through much tribulation." She afterwards +entered the marriage state, and became a second time a widow while her +children were still young; and though not destitute, her income was +considerably reduced; which circumstances may throw light on parts of +Mrs. Graham's letters. Unhappily there was no evangelical minister +near her place of residence, which, with the want of early religious +training, may account for so much darkness as to her spiritual state. +Mrs. Graham often visited her, and it pleased God in due time to +scatter the darkness. Mrs. C---- for many years fully enjoyed the +consolations of religion. She trained up her children according to the +maxims of her friend, and had the happiness of seeing them following +in her steps. One, Mrs. J.W., she saw depart in peace; and her own +dying-bed was soothed by the prayers and attentions of her son, an +esteemed and highly useful clergyman in one of our populous cities. As +Mrs. C---- adopted the signature of _Pilgrim,_ the letters to her +inserted in the former editions of this memoir, are noticed as +addressed to P----. + + + To Mrs. C----, a Lady near Boston. + + "FEBRUARY 10, 1797. + + "MY EVER DEAR FRIEND--The desire of waiting you a long letter has +occasioned too much delay on my part. One thing I can assure you of, +you have been much on my mind, and the subject of all our prayers. + + "Tears of joy ran down my cheeks when J---- told me the state +of your mind, and I thank our good and gracious God for opening your +eyes to see the vanity of this world, the corruption of your own +heart, your need of atoning blood, and of a better righteousness +than your own. Hail, my sister in Jesus; flesh and blood hath not +taught you this, but your Father who is in heaven: the work is his, +evidently his; and being begun, he will carry it on, and finish it +too. Commit your soul then into his hand; he 'came not to call the +righteous, but _sinners_ to repentance;' his errand to our world was +to seek and to save the _lost_. Trusting in his mercy, through +Christ, your soul is as safe as his word is true; for none perish +that trust in him. + + "'Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not to thine own +understanding;' be not discouraged because of deadness, darkness, +wandering, want of love, want of spirituality, want of any kind. Who +told you of these evils and wants? the Sun of righteousness shining +into your soul has shown you many of the evils there, but the half you +know not yet. The more you learn of the holiness and purity of the +divine nature and the spirituality of his law, the more you will be +dissatisfied with every thing yours. Even a holy apostle said, 'In me, +that is, in my flesh,' or natural mind, dwelleth no good thing. The +flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; so +that the things that I would, I do not; and the things that I would +not, those I do. Yet it is not I,' not my new nature, 'but sin that +dwelleth in me; for to will is present with me, but how to perform +that which is good I find not.' + + "If this was the case with the apostle, who sealed his testimony +with his life, is it strange that you and I should have hearts full of +all abominable things? These realities are cause of deep humility +before God, but none of despair or doubt. All are alike guilty and +vile, the whole head is sick, and the whole heart unsound; therefore +we need a whole Christ to atone for our sin, to cover our naked souls +with his imputed righteousness, and to be surety for us; to sanctify +us by his Spirit, and prepare us for the purchased inheritance. O try +to rest in him: believe it, you are complete in him; give up, my dear +friend, poring over and diving into your own heart and frames, and try +to trust in an almighty Saviour to save you from foes without and foes +within. Read Romaine's Walk and Life of Faith: he himself attained to +a high degree of holiness by getting out of himself, and trusting, +resting, believing from day to day, for grace, for every duty, as it +occurred. The promise runs, 'As thy days so shall thy strength be.' + + "I cannot at this distance, and knowing nothing of characters, +offer you any advice with respect to outward means; but if you know +any truly pious, spiritual minister, I should think it your duty to +lay open your mind to him. You may find in books matter as good as any +man living can speak; but it is the Lord's appointed way, and he often +honors his servants, his ministers, by making them messengers of peace +and comfort to his children. 'Are any sick, let them call for the +elders of the church, and let them pray over them.' See how the +Christians of old associated with one another. I am now doubly +yours, etc., + + "I.G." + + + "APRIL 14, 1797. + + "Eternity seems very near. I have often thought so without any +visible cause. Well, it will come; a few more rolling years, months, +weeks, or days will assuredly land me on Canaan's happy shore. Then +shall I know and enjoy what ear hath not heard, eye seen, nor heart +conceived, even the blessedness that is at God's right hand. I have +desired, though I know not that I have asked, to glorify God on my +death-bed, and to leave my testimony at the threshold of eternity, +that not one word of all that my God has promised has failed. He has +been--O what has he not been?--in all my trials, all my afflictions, +all my temptations, all my wanderings, all my backslidings, he has +been all that the well-ordered covenant has said. Let this Bible tell +what God in Christ, by his Spirit and his providence, has been to me; +and let the same Bible say what he will be to me 'when flesh and heart +fails;' yea, when 'the place that now knows me shall know me no more.' +Perhaps when the messenger does come I shall not know him, but depart +in silence. Well, as the Lord wills; he knows best how to glorify +himself. Jesus shall trim my lamp and perfect his image on my soul, +sensible or insensible. I shall enter into his presence, washed in his +blood, clothed in his righteousness, and my sanctification perfected. +I shall 'see him as he is,' and be like him. + + "Mourn not, my children, but rejoice; gird up the loins of your +mind,' and set forward on your heavenly journey through this +wilderness. So far as I have followed Christ, so far follow my +example; still living on Christ, depending on him for all that is +promised in the well-ordered covenant. O stumble not into the world +except when duty calls; at best it is a deadly weight, a great +hinderance to spiritual-mindedness, and in as far as it gets a footing +in your heart, it will not only mar your progress, but your comfort. +Lord, feed my children constantly with 'thy flesh and thy blood,' that +they may never hunger nor thirst for this world, but grow in the +divine life, and in the joy and comfort of the Holy Ghost. Amen." + + + "OCTOBER 20, 1797. + + "How condescending is our covenant God. All we have or enjoy is +from his hand; he gave us our being; our lives, although forfeited a +thousand times, have been preserved. 'Our bread has been given us, and +our water sure;' and not only these necessaries, but many comforts and +good temporal things have fallen to our lot; 'thou hast furnished our +table,' hast provided medicines and cordials when sick. Lord, I thank +thee for all these mercies, but above all, that we can call thee our +reconciled Father; that we have them not as the world have them, who +are far from thee, and have no portion among thy children, nor +interest in thy well-ordered covenant; but that we have them as thy +redeemed, as part of covenant provision, and with a covenant blessing, +and among the _all things_ that work together for our good. Lord, +enable us to be rich in good works. How condescending, that thou +acceptest a part of thine own as freewill-offerings, and hast annexed +promised blessings to those who consider the poor; hast said, 'He who +giveth to the poor, lendeth to the Lord.' + + "I thank thee that thou hast laid to hand a sufficiency to enable +me and mine to eat our own bread; even that which, according to the +regulations of society, men call our own. Thou only hast a right to +call it not so, for we are thine, and all that thou hast given us; but +of thy free bounty and kind providence, 'thou hast enabled us to +provide things honest and of good report in the sight of all men,' and +to give a portion to them who need. + + "I trust thy Spirit has directed my judgment in the determination +I have taken to set apart, from time to time, this portion, according +as thou prosperest us in business, and preservest us in health and +ability to pursue it. I bless thee for indulgent, encouraging +appearances, that since I began the practice thou hast added to my +stock, and that which I have given has never straitened, but thou hast +prospered me more and more. My poor's purse has never been empty when +called for, neither has my family purse. Of thine own I give thee, and +bless thy name for the privilege. + + "Grant direction with respect to whom, and how much to give." + + + The following meditations will afford refreshment to every +Christian heart: + + + "1797. + + "'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, +rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have +been taught, abounding there in with thanksgiving.' + + "Yes, just so, and no other way shall any poor corrupted creature +attain holiness, in the very same manner that he received the Lord +Jesus at first. He is' the Alpha; and Omega, the first and the last, +the beginning and the end.' + + "O Lord, my Saviour, my complete Saviour, and in whom I am +complete, I received thee as my expiatory sacrifice, by whom atonement +was made for my sins; by whom reconciliation was made; I reconciled to +God, and God to me. I was then delivered from the power of darkness +and translated into the kingdom of God's dear Son, and have redemption +through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. This same blood must +cleanse my daily spots, must cleanse my very best services; this same +blood must cleanse my conscience daily, and give me confidence in God, +as my reconciled Father. By this same peace-speaking blood I daily +present myself in his presence, and know that he sees no iniquity in +me so as to condemn me. + + "O Lord, I receive thee as my justifying righteousness, +disclaiming all confidence in my own works, throwing them aside as +filthy rags. I place my sole dependence upon an imputed righteousness, +_that_ righteousness wrought out by thee as my surety, in thy +holy, meritorious life and death; believing thy testimony, that 'the +wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through +Jesus Christ our Lord.' Just so must I go on, trusting in, resting +upon, rejoicing in the Lord my righteousness. By one man's offence +many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many, and I +among others, be made righteous. 'Christ is the end of the law for +righteousness,' therefore I walk at liberty, free from all dread of +condemnation. Not as a slave, not as a servant, not as a hireling, not +as a probationer; but as a child and heir of God, to whom the +inheritance is made sure. I have received the seal of the testament, +ratified and made sure by the death of the testator. All the blessings +contained in this Bible, the records of the well-ordered covenant, are +mine; and, Oh glorious truth, the testator died to ratify and insure +this testament; but he lives again, the glorious executor. + + "O Lord, I received thee as my king: depending upon promised +strength, I swore allegiance to thee, and to thy government. Just so, +my dear sovereign Master, must I go on: rejoicing in its privileges, +subjecting myself cheerfully to its restrictions; studying with care +its positive commands, and setting myself to obey; submitting with +meekness to its discipline; claiming thy kingly power to subdue the +corruptions of my heart, to defend from foes within and foes without; +and when thou callest me to fight, to arm me for battle, and lead me +on to victory. + + "I received thee as my divine Saviour, as the covenant of the +people: the covenant arranged, ratified, and fulfilled; to me a +covenant of free gift. Receiving thee, I received all the promises in +their fullest extent, as legally made over and confirmed to me by the +irrevocable gift of Deity: and in thee, as my Saviour, dwelleth all +the fulness of the Godhead bodily; yes, dwelleth in him for his +people, his ransomed; dwelleth in him as our head; we are united to +him, one with him, as he and the Father are one, and being one with +him, we are complete in him. He is the head, we the members; he is the +vine, we the branches; he is the foundation and chief corner-stone, we +the building. Thus let us walk in him; rooted and built up in him; +filled with the knowledge of his will, in all wisdom and spiritual +understanding; walking worthy of the Lord, unto all pleasing--being +fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; +strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power; unto all +patience and long-suffering, with joyfulness; for it is he who worketh +in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure; and although of +ourselves we can do nothing, yet we can do all things through Christ +strengthening us; and he has promised, that 'as our days so shall our +strength be.' + + "It is well, Lord, it is well. Thou art mine, and I am thine: +thou art mine with all thy fulness, what can I want besides? Nothing, +Lord. Thou hast given me 'the heritage of those that fear thy name;' I +am satisfied with my portion. Amen. Be my God and the God of my seed, +and glorify thy name in us." + + + "OCTOBER, 1797. + + "'Remove far from me vanity and lies,' Psa. 119. Every deviation +from rectitude and truth is sin. Who that knows any thing of the +corruption of the human heart, and its strange tendency to stray, to +err, yea, even to pervert the plainest, simplest, and most obvious +truths, but must see the propriety of his joining the psalmist, and +crying out, Lord, remove far from me the way of lies. + + "The way of lies as it respects our judgment and sentiments, as +it respects our motives of action, and as it respects our conduct. + + "As it respects our judgment: how does every species of error +abound; even the serious and earnest seekers of truth differ in many +things, which, although they may not prevent their final salvation, +mar their progress in knowledge, in holiness, and in comfort. Lord, +remove far from us the way of lies. Lead us to the pure, unmixed, +unerring word of truth, as it respects our sentiments, and as it +respects our conduct. O how many deceive themselves by resting on a +speculative knowledge of the truth, or what they esteem such, while +their hearts remain unaffected, their tempers unsanctified, and their +lives unfruitful. Passionate, stubborn, relentless, unmerciful, +implacable tempers indulged and unmortified, must be a way of lies. +'Learn of me,' says the Saviour, 'for I am meek and lowly in heart, +and ye shall find rest to your souls.' 'The meek will he guide in +judgment,' the meek will he teach his way. + + "'Remove far from me the way of lies, and teach me thy law +graciously.' + + "'Teach me thy law graciously,' not the ceremonial and the moral +law alone, but the whole of God's revealed will. The psalmist knew the +law ceremonial and moral, but he wants more and more of the teaching +of the Spirit of God. 'He,' the Spirit of truth, 'shall take of mine, +and show it unto you.' The word of God is ever the same; it contains +the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; every thing necessary to +safety, to holiness, and happiness: but O, the difference between him +who reads with a mind enlightened by the Spirit of God, and him who +reads with no other assistance than his own poor blinded, darkened +reason. Teach me then thy law graciously. I will praise thee with +uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy judgments. 'Open +thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.' The +psalmist thirsted after more and more extensive views of the word of +God, and still as his views were enlarged he desired more. 'The earth +is full of thy mercy,' verse 64; this was one lesson, but still he +cries, 'Teach me thy statutes. Thou hast dealt bountifully with me, O +Lord, according to thy word.' Still he cries, 'Teach me good judgment +and knowledge. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I +might learn thy statutes.'" + + + "OCTOBER, 1797. + + "I love to feel the kindlings of repentance, self-loathing under +a sense of ingratitude, heart-melting with the view of pardoning +grace. I love to feel the sprinkling of my Redeemer's blood on my +conscience, drawing forth the tears of joy and gratitude in the view +of a free pardon. I love to dwell on the seal of reconciliation, while +my heart, glowing with gratitude, sinks into the arms of my redeeming +Lord, in full confidence of his love and my safety for ever. I love to +feel longings after closer communion, after more conformity to his +image, more usefulness to my fellow-members of the body of Christ, and +to all his creatures. I love to feel deeply interested in the success +of the gospel, in the declarative glory of Jehovah, as manifested in +his works of creation and providence, but chiefly in the +superexcellent work of redemption: for 'thou hast magnified thy word +above all thy name.'" + + + + + CHAPTER VI. + + FORMATION OF THE WIDOWS' SOCIETY-- + CLOSE OF HER SCHOOL. + + In November, 1797, the "Society for the Relief of Poor Widows +with small Children" was instituted at New York; a society which has +risen into great respectability, and has been productive of very +beneficent effects. The Lord, in his merciful providence, prepared +this institution, to grant relief to the many bereaved families who +were left widows and orphans by the ravages of the yellow-fever in the +years 1798 and 1799. + + It took its rise from an apparently adventitious circumstance. +Mr. B----, in the year 1796, was one of the distributing managers of +the St. Andrew's Society. The distribution of this charity was of +course limited to a certain description of applicants. Mrs. B----, +interested for widows not entitled to share in the bounty of the St. +Andrew's Society, frequently collected small sums for their relief. +She consulted with a few friends on the propriety of establishing a +female society for the relief of poor widows with small children, +without limitation. Invitations in the form of circular letters were +sent to the ladies of New York, and a very respectable number +assembled at the house of Mrs. Graham. The proposed plan was approved, +and a society organized. Mrs. Graham was elected first directress, +which office she held for ten years. + + At the semiannual meeting in March, 1798, Mrs. Graham made a very +pleasing report of the proceedings of the Managers, and of the amount +of relief afforded to the poor. The ladies of New York truly honored +themselves and religion by their zeal in this benevolent undertaking, +in reference to which Mrs. Graham says, in a letter to her friend +Mrs. Walker: + + + "I mentioned in my last that we had planned a society for the +relief of poor widows with small children: the success has been beyond +our most sanguine expectations. We have now a hundred and ninety +subscribers, at three dollars a year, and nearly a thousand dollars in +donations. We have spent three hundred dollars this winter, and nearly +all upon worthy objects. The poor increase fast: emigrants from all +quarters flock to us, and when they come they must not be allowed to +die for want. There are eight hundred in the almshouse, and our +society has helped along many, with their own industry, that must +otherwise have been there. The French, poor things, are also starving +among us; it would need a stout heart to lay up in these times." + + + In the same letter she informs her of the first monthly +missionary prayer-meeting known to have been held in the city of +New York. + + + "The second Wednesday in February we commenced our first monthly +meeting for prayer for the Lord's blessing on ours, and all the +missionary societies. It was far from full; but we must be thankful +for the day of small things, and pray, and wait, and hope. The Dutch +churches, the Baptist and Presbyterian have united so far as to +officiate in each other's churches; they have collected about +seventeen hundred dollars, and are looking out for two missionaries to +send among the Indians, or to the frontiers." + + + A few months later we find the following letter to a young man on +his joining the church: + + + "SEPTEMBER, 1798. + + "MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND--You have now ratified in a public manner +that transaction which, no doubt, passed previously in private between +you and your God. You have declared your belief of the gospel, and +have taken hold of God's covenant of promise. You have fallen in with +his own plan, which he has appointed for the salvation of guilty +sinners; and rested your soul upon his word of promise that you shall +be saved. You have, at the same time, dedicated and devoted your soul, +your body, your time, your talents, your substance, your influence, +all that you are and have, to be disposed of at his pleasure, and for +his glory, in the world. You are no longer your own. You are bought +with a price, adopted into the family of God, numbered with and +entitled to all the privileges of his children. Your motives of +action, your views, your interests, are all different from those of +the worldling. Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, your aim +must be, and will be, to do all to his glory. This must go with you, +and be your ruling principle in all the walks of life. By your +integrity, uprightness, diligence, and disinterested attention to the +interest of your employers, you will glorify God and have his presence +with you in business. By a due and marked observance of the Sabbath, +and attendance on the ordinances, you will glorify him. By regularity, +order, and temperance, crowned with an open acknowledgment of God +before all who may surround your board, you will glorify him in an +especial manner in these days of degeneracy, and, crowned with family +worship, you will glorify him, and his presence will be with you, and +great will be your comfort. God's interest in the world must also be +yours. The good of his church in general, and that of your own family +in particular; and O, my son, if you would be rich in comfort, follow +the Lord fully, and follow him openly; and if you would do it so as to +suffer the least from the sneer of the world, do it at once. + + "Already you have received congratulations on your joining the +church, by those belonging to it; soon will it be known to those who +will scoff at it. But Christians and worldlings will look for +consistency; and if it be wanting, the last will be the first to mark +it. A decided character will soon deliver you from all solicitations +to what may be even unseemly, and dignified consistent conduct will +command respect. Not but the Lord may let loose upon you the +persecuting sneer and banter of the wise of this world, whose esteem +you wish to preserve; but, if he do, the trial will be particular, and +he will support you under it, and bring his glory and your good out +of it. + + "And now, my son, suffer the word of exhortation. You have +entered the school of Christ, and have much to learn, far beyond what +men or books can of themselves teach, and you have much to receive on +divine credit, beyond what human reason can comprehend. + + "I would recommend to you to read carefully, and pause as you +read, and pray as you read for the teaching of the Spirit, the epistle +of Paul to the Ephesians. Read it first without any commentary, and +read it as addressed to you, S---- A----. You will there find what may +in part stagger your reason; you will find what far surpasses your +comprehension; but yet read on, with conscious weakness, and +ignorance, and absolute dependence on divine teaching. When you have +read it through, then take Brown's or Henry's exposition of it. + + "A degree of mystery, my son, runs through the whole of God's +revealed word; but it is _his_, and to be received with +reverence, and believed with confidence, because it is _his_. It +is to be searched with diligence, and compared; and, by God's teaching +and the assistance of his sent servants, the child of God becomes +mighty in the Scriptures. Let not mystery stagger you: we are +surrounded with mysteries; we ourselves are mysteries inexplicable: +nor let the doctrine of election stagger you; how small a part of +God's ways do we know, or can comprehend! rejoice that he has given +you the heritage of his people--leave the rest to him: 'Shall not the +Judge of all the earth do right?' + + "Jesus took once a little child and set him in the midst of the +people, and said, 'Except ye be converted, and become as little +children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven,' intimating with what +simplicity and docility men ought to receive the gospel; and the +following text also alludes to this: 'Suffer little children to come +unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.' +There are many promises made to the diligent searchers after truth: +'Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord.' 'The secret of +the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will show them his +covenant.' Yet the highly enlightened Paul calls the gospel a mystery, +and godliness a mystery; 'for now we see through a glass darkly; but +then face to face: now I know in part; but then,' in heaven, 'shall I +know even as also I am known.' Therefore, while you use all diligence, +accompanied with prayer and the expositions of God's faithful +ministers, to understand every part of divine revelation, be neither +surprised nor disheartened at the want of comprehension, far less +attempt to reduce it to human reason, as many have done to their ruin. +The Scripture says, 'Vain man would be wise, though born like the wild +ass's colt.' 'The wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.' + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + Again we have the following merited strictures by one taught from +above, on a passage in Pope's Essay on Man. + + + "1798. + + "'Glows in the stars and blossoms in the trees.' + + "There the poet must stop: thus far the natural mind, richly +endowed with human powers, can go and trace a God of power, wisdom, +and beneficence: O that thou hadst had eyes to see, and discern what +flesh and blood could never reach; that all these glories dwindle into +tapers, when compared with Jehovah manifested in the face of Jesus +Christ. Every star, every tree, all vegetating, bursting, blooming +life, answer the end of their creation, manifesting his glory as thou +sayest; but can they tell thee how this God can be just, and yet +justify those who have rebelled against all his attributes; torturing +even his fair and beautiful creation, and bringing it into subjection +to their lusts, as thou hast well sung; murmuring at, and rebelling +against his dispensations in providence; hardening themselves against +his government; perverting every good to their own misery, and +imbibing wretchedness from means of blessedness? Can all that thou +hast sung bring into congeniality perfection of wickedness and +perfection of holiness, perfection of wretchedness and perfection of +happiness, perfect opposition in nature and principle? Here thy song +stops short. Thou seest the evils and the misery; thou hast a glimpse +of an opposite good, but all means proposed by thee ever have proved, +and ever will prove inadequate to the attainment of it: the very +attributes of a just and holy God oppose it: heaven and earth must +stand amazed at the declaration that God would justify the ungodly." + + + In the month of September, 1798, Mrs. Graham's daughter Isabella +was married to Mr. Andrew Smith, merchant, then of New York. Her +family being thus settled to her satisfaction, and her health not +good, she was prevailed upon to retire from her school, and to live +with her children. + + During the prevalence of the yellow-fever in 1798, it was with +much difficulty Mrs. Graham was dissuaded from going into the city to +attend on the sick: the fear of involving her children in the same +calamity, in the event of her being attacked by the fever, was the +chief reason of her acquiescing in their wish to prevent so hazardous +an undertaking. During the subsequent winter she was indefatigable in +her attentions to the poor, she exerted herself to procure work for +her widows, and occupied much of her time in cutting it out and +preparing it for them. The managers of the Widows' Society had each a +separate district; and Mrs. Graham, as first Directress, had a general +superintendence of the whole. She was so happy in the execution of her +trust, as to acquire the respect and confidence of the ladies who +acted with her, as well as the affections of the poor. + + Her whole time was now at her command, and she devoted it very +faithfully to promote the benevolent object of the institution over +which she presided. The extent of her exertions, however, became +known, not from the information given by herself, but from the +observations of her fellow-laborers, and especially from the testimony +of the poor themselves. When she had been absent for some weeks, on a +visit to her friends in Boston, in the summer of 1800, her daughter, +Mrs. B----, was surprised at the frequent inquiries made after her by +persons with whom she was unacquainted: at length she asked some of +those inquirers what they knew about Mrs. Graham. They replied, "We +live in the suburbs of the city, where she used to visit, relieve, and +comfort the poor. We had missed her so long, that we were afraid she +had been sick; when she walked in our streets, it was customary with +us to come to the door and receive her blessing as she passed." + + + We next find letters to her female friend near Boston, who was +still in much spiritual darkness and despondency. + + + To Mrs. C----, near Boston. + + "MARCH, 1799. + + "MY EVER DEAR FRIEND--I have just read your letter, painful to +you to write, but to me as the mother's anguish which precedes her +joy. The day will soon break, and the shadows flee away; and the dear +Saviour whom you seek, will again comfort his returning prodigal. + + "I will do what you desire me, and though I have the highest +opinion of our young Timothy, J.M., I will pass by him in this case, +and lay it before one of the aged Christians, Dr. R----rs or Dr. +L----n; at the same time, my friend, I am as sure of their answer as +if I were already in possession of it. Who told my friend that she was +blind, and miserable, and wretched, and naked? Flesh and blood never +yet taught proud man or woman this lesson. + + "My dear friend, there is nothing new nor strange in all you have +told me: there is scarce a heaven-taught soul, who has made any +advances in the spiritual warfare, but could sympathize with you from +experience. What have you experienced more than the Scriptures tell +us: that 'the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately +wicked?' Only the Lord can search it, only he can cleanse it. He takes +the prerogative to himself, and he calls it his covenant that he will +make with sinners in gospel times. You may strive and fight, and +resolve and vow--all will not do: you lie at his mercy for holiness as +well as pardon. He is exalted as a Prince to give repentance, and he +is the author and finisher of faith. He works all our works in us, and +without him we are not equal to one good thought. We are his +workmanship, 'created anew in Christ Jesus,' My dear friend, put the +work into his hand, and try to wait on him in hope--hope in every +situation; do more, trust. + + "You entirely mistake the situation of others; none of us have +our heaven here: no, sin dwelleth in us; the very best have their ups +and downs. Do you think your friend is always on the mount? very far +from it. I am at times so cold, so dead, so stupid, that I can neither +pray, read, nor hear. I have begun the same chapter over and over, +still trying to fix my thoughts, and as often they wander on every +trifle; but my peace lies where you will soon learn to place yours, in +the merits of my almighty Saviour. My safety depends not on my frames, +but his promise and when tossed and tempted, dead and lifeless, +emptied of every good, perhaps buffeted like you with abominable +thoughts, the fiery darts of Satan, casting all on Him, I am safe as +when basking in the sunshine of his love, and tasting what you have +tasted: for you have tasted, and you shall yet taste the joys of his +salvation. I too have proved false to his covenant, have gone off with +the world, and been intoxicated with its vanities and empty delights, +and have laid up for myself seasons of deep remorse; my sins have +often separated between my God and me, especially in my younger days; +the Lord calls to watchfulness and diligence in the use of means, and +he generally honors these means, of his own appointing, with his +blessing. When we either trust to these means, and fancy merit in +them, or neglect to use them as his appointment, he generally makes us +feel our error, but he does not cast us out of his family; he chastens +us, and restores us. + + "I write hastily, just to say that you have my sympathy and my +love; for well I know, the almighty Lord alone can loose your bonds, +and give you 'joy and peace in believing.' All my advice may be summed +up in this--trust in the Lord with all your heart; at least aim at +this; I say, aim at it, for this too must be given you. Roll yourself, +your doubts, your fears, your sins, your duties, all on him: say, +'Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.' He is an almighty Saviour to +deliver sinners from sin as well as from punishment. I leave you on +the Father of mercies, and will, when the Lord enables, pray for you. + + "Yours, etc." + + + To the same. + + "At last, my dear friend, the Lord appears; appears the Bible +God--'the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, abundant in +goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, +transgression, and sin.' + + "When was it that the Lord proclaimed this, and took unto +himself this name? After Israel, his chosen, had been guilty of that +awful sin in the wilderness, of making the golden calf, and +proclaiming, 'These be thy gods, O Israel:' David takes it up in the +103d Psalm, 'The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and +plenteous in mercy.' Read on, my dear, then turn to the 130th. This +God is your God, and has long been your God; his work was upon your +heart, though you could not discern it. In bondage you have long +been, but not a willing captive; unbelief kept you in bondage, long, +long after your eyes were opened to see your bondage; and even to +discern, in some feeble measure, your remedy. + + "The Lord has wise reasons for all you have suffered: if not now, +you shall in some after-time 'know and consider all the way by which +he has led you, to prove you, to try you, and show you what was in +your heart, that he might do you good in your latter end.' You did not +wait patiently for the Lord your God; you did not in general say, +'Though he slay me, I will trust in him:' no, my friend has been a +great unbeliever, yet hath the Lord, the sovereign Lord, 'whose ways +are not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts,' brought you +out of 'a fearful pit, and out of the miry clay; set your feet upon a +rock, and established your goings; put a new song into your mouth, +even praise unto our God.' Now you sing the 34th Psalm. I do rejoice +with my friend; I bless the Lord with her; let us exalt his name +together. It is establishing to my own soul. I have long prayed, and +long looked for this: I lived in the faith of it, assured that He who +had begun the good work, would perfect it in his own time. + + "I cannot but regret your want of pastoral food; yet ought I to +regret any thing? The Lord himself is your Shepherd. My Bible lies on +my lap, and I had turned to the 34th Psalm, to know if it contained +what I would point out to you: on finishing the last verse, I +unconsciously turned my eye on the Bible; the words that met it were, +'I will instruct thee, and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go: I +will guide thee with mine eye.' Psa. 32:8. And so it shall be. Amen, +my God, Amen. Do as thou hast said. + + "Perhaps, my friend, by this time your notes are lowered. It has +pleased the Lord to give you a strange sight: Mary Magdalene, a great +sinner at the feet of Jesus, pardoned, comforted, and highly honored +in after-life. + + "This history, accompanied by the Spirit of God, has consoled, +strengthened, and raised up many bowed down since that day, many now +around the throne, who sing of pardoning love. + + "I now wish to say, hold fast the beginning of your confidence. +Your experience is that of God's people. To rejoice in the Lord at all +times is your privilege, but will not be always your attainment. The +Lord has done great things for you, whereof I am glad; but, my dear +friend, the warfare is not over: you must endure trials as others; +engage with 'principalities and powers, and spiritual wickedness in +high places,' and, worst of all, a treacherous heart within; which, +for all that it has seen and tasted, is yet corrupt and deceitful. The +new life which Christ gives to the soul, evidences itself in the +desires of the heart and affections. As certainly as the new-born babe +desires the breast, as certainly and as evidently does the new-born +soul desire union to God, communion with him, and conformity to him in +heart, life, and conversation. This principle is in its own nature +perfectly pure, but the old nature, the law in the spiritual members, +is as perfectly corrupt: 'in my flesh dwelleth no good thing.' + + "In the order of God's covenant it has not pleased him to deliver +even believers, all at once, from sinful inclinations and passions; he +has provided for their final complete deliverance, and sin shall not +have dominion over them even here; but it is still in them while in +the body, and a dying body; and the remains of sin in the soul make +the believer's life a warfare, and this world a wilderness; soul and +body are diseased; both are redeemed, and provision made for the +entire deliverance of both--for the soul at death, for the body at the +resurrection; but while in the body, 'if any man say he has no sin, he +deceiveth himself, and the truth is not in him.' I John, I:8. Look at +Paul's experience--what does he say of the believer's state? He calls +it a warfare, a fight, a captivity for a time: see 1 Tim. 6:12; +1 Cor. 9:26. + + "I write not thus to dishearten you, but as a friend I warn you, +lest you fall again into unbelief. Look not within for comfort, for +consolation, for confidence. Christ is the end of the law for +righteousness, his blood the atonement, and you are complete in him, +his grace is sufficient for you, his strength shall be perfected in +your weakness, and you shall go on. Grieve for sin you will, grieve +you ought; but keep ever in your remembrance 1 John, 2:1, and 5:11. + + "Yours, etc." + + + To the same. + + "JANUARY 14, 1800. + + "My dear friend says, 'O that I could have the society of some +aged pious clergyman or Christian, who had gone through his warfare.' +O that you could, in the Lord's hand. I hope it might do you good: +yet, after all, the Lord himself must loose your bonds; aye, and he +will, and also appoint the means. + + "There are two kinds of rest awaiting you, the one in this life, +the other will not be attained till the mortal shall put on +immortality. When was it that Paul, the great apostle, could say he +had fought the good fight? Not till he could also say he had finished +his course, and was ready to be offered up; till then, he like others +had to continue the warfare between grace and corruption; like others, +found a law in his members warring against the law of his mind, so +that the thing that he would, he did not, and that which he would not, +that he did. Notwithstanding this, there is a blessed rest attainable +here, rest from the fear of wrath and hell--a rest in Christ as our +atonement, our surety, our complete righteousness, our title to +eternal life, and all the grace necessary to fit us for it. This is +the work of faith, or rather, this is faith itself. The soul +established in this can rest in all possible circumstances; it depends +not on its frames: in darkness, when it is tossed, tempted, wandering, +conscious of unhallowed tempers, perhaps of the actual commission of +sin, though at such times the warfare between grace and corruption is +so strong as to make the Christian exclaim, 'O wretched man that I am! +who shall deliver me from this body of sin and death?' he can still +say, 'The Lord lives, blessed be my Rock;' see the 42d and 43d Psalms. +The Christian can still say, my Lord and my God; he is sure the +conflict will end, and that his God will bring good out of it; he +enjoys hope; he feels his state as safe as in the most enlarged frame +of mind, when he can pray, praise, love, rejoice. This is a riddle +which only Christians can understand, and even they require many +lessons to comprehend it, many more to practise. + + "Have you Newton's letters? See his second letter in Cardiphonia. +O try to fix your anchor of hope on that sure foundation which God has +laid in Zion, Christ himself. Trust him to save you from every evil +without you and within you. When your own weakness sinks you, try to +be strong in his strength; when guilt disturbs, wash in the open +Fountain. But hold fast the beginning of your confidence unto the end. + + "Be comforted, fight on, aim at trusting, and you shall, in the +Lord's time, also, cease from your own works, and rest, with more +advanced Christians, on the faithfulness of your own God in Christ. +See Hebrews 4:9, also chap. 12 throughout. I finish with chap. +13:20, 21, my earnest prayer and sure hope for you, my precious +friend. + + Yours, etc." + + + Writing to her brother Dr. Marshall, she alludes to the prevalent +neglect of the voice of God in his judgments, and notices the death +of Washington. + + + "NEW YORK, March 3, 1800. + + "Here comes a letter of woe from my dear brother, on a subject +almost already forgotten in New York, the yellow-fever. Strange as +it may seem, the disease, and all that it carried off, seem entirely +out of mind. No mention made of the past, no apprehensions for the +future. Country retreats are multiplying around, and people appear +as if they had made a covenant with death. Potter's Field is filled +with our principal citizens; the prison and prison limits with +many of the survivors. The rest are _feasting_, _dancing,_ and +_revelling_, or weeping over feigned woe in the theatre--a few +excepted, who have fled for refuge to the hope set before them, +whose eyes have been opened to discern the danger and accept the +offered Saviour: among which number, I dare, through grace, reckon +your sister and her children. 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget +not all his benefits.' + + "The city, indeed the United States, have been swallowed up in +the loss of Washington. The utmost stretch of human eloquence has been +called forth in panegyric. His eulogium has been sounded in every +possible mode--not excepting our pulpits. The 22d of February, his +birthday, was set apart to his memory. Two of our ministers were +appointed to pronounce an eulogium on his character: one of whom was +Dr. Mason, the other Dr. Linn. The last I admired; it had its due +influence over me; but of my own minister I could form no judgment: +the church, the pulpit, the man, the words, seemed so connected with +the 'Lord Jesus Christ,' his favorite theme, I could not realize the +_mere_ orator. + + "Great things were said of Washington, and they were due. + + "The Lord himself called him by name, girded him, subdued great +armies before him, with handfuls, like Gideon. He gave him wisdom in +counsel, and prudence in executing justice. A nation blessed him +while he lived, and with all the power of language lamented his +death. Ah, human depravity, how striking. Bursting with gratitude to +a creature--with enmity to a Saviour God; to God, who 'so loved the +world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth +on him should not perish, but have everlasting life; and to as many +as receive him gives power to become the sons of God,' by putting +his Spirit within them, and causing them to love and walk in his +statutes. But alas, the carnal unrenewed mind is enmity against God +and his Christ. O that men were wise, and could see their disease, +and the remedy. + + "What misery is in the world at this day. It is only equalled by +the wickedness. How does potsherd dash against potsherd, mutually +destroying each other. How consoling to the Christian 'that the Lord +reigns. The Lord sits King among the nations,' even our own Jesus, +'Head over all principalities and powers, and dominions, and every +name that is named in heaven and in earth;' all these shakings, +turnings, and overturnings, shall prove subservient to the real +prosperity of his church." + + + "1800. + + "I have entered into my closet; I have shut my door; I would pray +to my Father who is in secret; I would be shut up with my indwelling +God; but see the crowds that follow; see my treacherous heart that +gives them admission; see my unsanctified imagination going off with +them, leaving nothing before thee but a lifeless lump of clay. Help, +Lord. Hast thou not redeemed me from vain imaginations? Lord, fill all +thy temple; cast out the buyers and sellers; thyself prepare room for +close, undisturbed, holy conference. Grant that, according to the +riches of thy glory, I may be strengthened with might by thy Spirit in +the inner man: dwell in my heart by faith, that 'rooted and grounded +in love, I may be able to comprehend with all saints, what is the +breadth, and length, and height, and depth, and to know the love of +Christ, which passeth knowledge, and be filled with all the fulness of +God.' Give unto thy redeemed servant the Spirit of wisdom and +revelation. Reveal thyself more and more in my soul; enlighten the +eyes of my understanding. Lord, improve, enlarge the powers of the new +man. Spirit of the Father and of the Son, do thine office; take of the +things of Christ and show them unto me; that I may know what is the +hope of his calling, and what the 'riches of the glory of his +inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of his +power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty +power, which he wrought in Christ when he raised him from the dead, +and set him at the Father's right hand, in the heavenly places, far +above all principalities, and powers, and might, and dominion, and +every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that +which is to come; and hath put all things under his feet, and given +him to be the head over all things to the church, which is his body, +the fulness of him that filleth all in all.' Filled with all the +fulness of God; 'the fulness of him who filleth all in all!' O what +things are these. My soul stretches to comprehend; but, weak and +feeble, cannot climb those glorious heights, nor dig into these, to +me, unsearchable depths. I can only spell after the language of the +Holy Ghost, lisp out his own words. I dare not trust my powers of +comprehension to vary even the mode of expression. + + "Well, it may be best for me; the valley of humility may be +safest for me. 'Father, glorify thy name.' Thou hast quickened me; I +am not what I was. Thou hast wrought in me a measure of faith and +love; thou hast sealed me with the Holy Spirit of promise; thou hast +given me the earnest of my inheritance; the full possession shall come +in thy appointed time. Wherefore I will sing unto Him that is able, +and will do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask, think, or +comprehend, according to that same mighty power that worketh in us. +Unto him be glory in the church, by Christ Jesus, throughout all ages, +world without end. Amen. + + "My covenant God, and the God of my house. Thy Spirit saith, 'If +any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God.' Thou knowest the difficulty +and danger of the present case. We are ignorant of hidden motions and +principles, of Satan's suggestions, of corresponding or discordant +circumstances, of future providences and events. Lord, give counsel. + + "If information and advice be duty on the part of thy servant, +determine on the side of duty, be the danger what it may; and Oh, +search, try, and deliver from every selfish or hidden impure motive. +Give prudence in the choice of words, in the time and manner as well +as purity in the matter. Save from injuring any of the individuals +concerned. And Oh, prepare the heart of thy other servant to receive +this office of friendship with a proper degree of confidence. Save +from unjust suspicions, that it may be taken as meant in love, in +Christian love and friendship. + + "O thou who knowest all hearts, all motives, all circumstances +past, present, and future, overrule for the manifestation of truth, +for the safety and good of thy servant, and for the closer union of +all concerned in the bands of Christian love, confidence, and +affection; and as our covenant God, in whom we trust for guidance in +every path of duty, glorify thy name. + + "I record this prayer in faith, and wait an answer of peace from +thy inward teaching and manifestation in the course of thy providence. +Amen." + + + "1800. + + "'His name shall endure for ever: his name shall be continued as +long as the sun: and men shall be blessed in him; all nations shall +call him blessed. Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who +alone doeth wondrous things. And blessed be his glorious name for +ever: and let the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen, and +Amen.' Psalm 72:17. + + "Again have I and my children been fed with Christ's flesh and +his blood at his own table. Glorious things are said of thee, thou +city of our God; and rich the provision of the house of our God; +wonderful the scheme that hath made sinful, guilty, rebel sinners the +citizens of this holy city, inhabitants of this holy house. Mysterious +truth. The city itself the house of God; the temple of the Lord, in +which he delighteth to dwell. Closer yet, more mysterious, yet equally +true, 'his body, his flesh, and his bones;' closer still, one Spirit +with him. As Mediator Emmanuel, he is the bond of union, whereby the +guilty sons and daughters of Adam are made one with the Father, the +Son, and the Holy Ghost. + + "Wonderfully and fearfully are we made as creatures: as a +rational creature, who can understand and comprehend himself; how +these members were fashioned; how this spark of vital flame was +breathed into the lifeless lump or atom? Wonder-working Lord, thou +only knowest. Wonderful are all the works of creation; but Oh, what +are they to thy work of redemption? To bring worlds out of nothing, to +bring light out of darkness, was thy easy work; but to bring good out +of evil, this, this was the wonder. Thousands and ten thousands of +worlds were, and may yet be created without cost. God says, Let it +_be_, and it is; but redemption! O, who can tell the cost? +Blessed Jesus, God manifested in the flesh; Christ, babe of +Bethlehem--man of sorrows--victim on the cross; thou only canst tell. +'Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who alone doeth wondrous things, +and blessed be his glorious name for ever!' Whatever the cost, _it +is finished_. He bowed his head and said, 'It is finished!' This +finished work is the new testament which he bequeathed to his +disciples 'the same night in which he was betrayed,' when he took +bread, blessed it, brake it, gave it to his disciples, and said, Take, +eat, this is my body broken for you; and took the cup, and gave +thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; for this is +the new testament in my blood, which is shed for many, for the +remission of sins. + + + "The new testament! O, who can tell the blessings and benefits +contained in this testament, this dying legacy of our dear Emmanuel, +purchased and sealed with his blood! What is the amount of it? What +the sum of blessings contained in it? Behold, God is become our +salvation. This is the amount. God himself, God in Christ reconciling +us unto himself: by his mighty power subduing the enmity that is in +us; melting our flinty hearts; drawing us with the cords of love; +creating us anew after his own image, which we had totally lost; +uniting us to himself, even _us_, who were enmity itself, but now +are become one with God, who is love. This is the work we have this +day been celebrating: a given, a born, a living, a suffering, dying, +risen, ascended, glorified, reigning Saviour. The Lord of hosts, the +King of kings, the Almighty God dwelling with men, dwelling in men, +and feeding them with his own body and blood. 'Behold, God is become +our salvation; we will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord Jehovah +is our strength and our song; he also is become our salvation, +therefore with joy will we draw water out of the wells of salvation.' +His attributes are the never-failing source; his ordinances the wells +of salvation. God himself is ours, all that he is is ours, to bless +and to make us happy. Ten thousand springs issue from this blessed +source, specified and particularized in his Bible, experienced and +celebrated by his saints. Let us drink and be refreshed, rejoice and +praise: for Oh, who can tell the amount of our riches, in having God +for our portion? All things are ours, we are Christ's, and Christ +is God's." + + + The Widows' Society met monthly, when the money in the treasury +was divided among the managers, for the relief of the widows under +their care. Mrs. Graham, as directress, thus acknowledges God and asks +his counsel: + + + "1800. + + "O my God, I account it an honorable office thou hast given me. I +have received it from thee. Enable me to execute it to thee. + + "Father of the fatherless, husband of the widow, make me a fit +instrument in thy hand of distributing thy bounty. Give discernment +and judgment, tenderness, gentleness, humility, and love; let love to +thee be the principle of my every action; lead me in the straight path +of duty; on the matter, the manner, the time, let 'holiness to the +Lord' be written. I thank thee for this sum towards the relief of thy +creatures; be with us this evening, and direct our determination as to +the division of it. Amen." + + + + + CHAPTER VII. + + BENEVOLENT LABORS--MRS. HOFFMAN-- + CORRESPONDENCE. + + + The "Society for the relief of Poor Widows with small Children," +having received a charter of incorporation, and some pecuniary aid +from the Legislature of the state, the ladies who constituted the +board of direction were engaged in plans for extending their +usefulness: Mrs. Graham took an active part in executing these plans. +The Society purchased a small house, where they received work of +various kinds for the employment of their widows. They opened a school +for the instruction of their orphans, and many of Mrs. Graham's former +pupils volunteered their services, taking upon themselves, by +rotation, the part of instructors. Besides establishing this school, +Mrs. Graham selected some of the widows best qualified for the task, +and engaged them, for a small compensation, to open day schools for +the instruction of the children of widows in distant parts of the +city: she also established two Sabbath-schools, one of which she +superintended herself, and the other she placed under the care of her +daughter. Wherever she met with Christians sick and in poverty, she +visited and comforted them; and in some instances, opened small +subscription lists to provide for their support. + + She attended occasionally for some years at the almshouse, for +the instruction of the children there in religious knowledge: in this +work she was much assisted by an humble and pious female friend, who +was seldom absent from it on the Lord's day. In short, her whole time +was occupied in searching out the distresses of the poor, and devising +measures to comfort and establish them to the extent of her influence +and means. At the same time, far from arrogating any merit to herself, +she seemed always to feel how much she was deficient in following +fully the precepts and the footsteps of her beloved Lord and Saviour, +who "went about doing good." + + It was often her custom to leave home after breakfast, taking +with her a few rolls of bread, and return in the evening about eight +o'clock. Her only dinner on such days was her bread, and perhaps some +soup at the soup-house, established by the Humane Society for the +poor, over which one of her widows had been, at her recommendation, +appointed. She and her venerable companion, Mrs. Sarah Hoffman, +second directress of the Widows' Society, travelled many a day and +many a step together in the walks of charity. Mrs. Graham was a +Presbyterian, Mrs. Hoffman an Episcopalian. Those barriers, of which +such an unhappy use has been made by sectarians to separate the +children of God, fell down between these two friends at the cry of +affliction, and were consumed on the altar of Christian love. Arm in +arm, and heart to heart, they visited the abodes of distress, +dispensing temporal aid from the purse of charity, and spiritual +comfort from the word of life. + + At each annual meeting, Mrs. Graham usually gave an address to +the Society, with a report of the proceedings of the managers through +the preceding year. + + In April, 1800, she stated that "again the pestilence had emptied +the city; again every source of industry was dried up; even the +streams of benevolence from the country failed. Those storehouses, +from which relief was issued to thousands in former calamities, now +disappointed their hopes; and those spared by the pestilence were +ready to perish by the famine. Such widows as had no friends in the +country, under whose roof they might for a time seek shelter, were +shut up to the only relief within their power, even to that society +which had formerly saved them in many a strait. They came, were +received with tenderness, assisted with, food, advice, and medicine. + + "Four of the society's board, at the risk of their lives, +remained in the city, steady in the exercise of their office. One +hundred and forty-two widows, with four hundred and six children, +under twelve years of age, by far the greater part under six, have, +from time to time, during the winter, been visited and relieved. Widow +is a word of sorrow in the best of circumstances; but a widow left +poor, destitute, friendless, surrounded with a number of small +children, shivering with cold, pale with want, looking in her face +with eyes pleading for bread which she has not to give, nor any +probable prospect of procuring--her situation is neither to be +described nor conceived. Many such scenes were witnessed during the +last winter; and though none could restore the father and the husband, +the hearts of the mourners were soothed by the managers, while they +dispensed the relief provided for them by their Father and their +Husband, God." + + + In the summer of 1800, Mrs. Graham again visited her friends in +Boston, whence she wrote her daughter Mrs. B---- as follows: + + + "BOSTON, August, 1800. + + "I yesterday received my dear J----'s letter, which gives fresh +cause for thankfulness. The more my absence is lengthened, the less I +am able to support the want of intelligence. Let us all bless God +together for all his mercies: among those which are temporal, health +is the chief; and I believe to most mothers it is more valued in their +children than in their own persons. I rejoice with you over our +restored J----y. O that our covenant God may give the more important +blessing of divine life. You had need to be importunate for this, +after the importunity exercised for natural life. I thank God also for +the alleviation of your own distress, for our dear D----'s restoration +from complaints less alarming so far as they existed, but which might +have been the seeds of serious affliction. + + "I could go on enumerating, for causes of thankfulness crowd into +my mind; but all are swallowed up in the grand mercy, the +distinguishing mercy of redeeming love to our souls. Salvation, not +only to me, but to my house. Oh, all words fail here. Read over with +me, sing with me, in your heart, the 103d Psalm. O my God, dare I even +sigh in thy presence, under any temporal pain, or hurt of body or +mind, with such a Father, such a Christ, such a Comforter, such a +richly-furnished well-ordered covenant, such a constitution of grace +and providence--O, such an all in all, even 'all the fulness of God.' +My God and the God of my seed, the God of my house; yea, and the God +of my prodigal, who shall in heaven, if never on earth, join the song, +'To him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood, be +glory, honor, dominion, power, and praise, for ever and ever. Amen.' O +shall a murmur ever pass these lips, shall this unthankful heart +indulge even a sigh over any object but sin; shall I shrink from any +cross with such a crown? Father, glorify thy name. + + "I have been to church; the subject, 'be not weary in +well-doing.' Many arguments were adduced for exertion; but the gospel +was wanting. O that my friends could hear our shepherd; he would sound +his Master's voice more in unison with their own hearts' experience, +and views of new covenant provision and gospel motives: except in the +Baptist congregations, the gospel is much mutilated here, and kept out +of sight even by the few who are supposed to build upon it. + + "Sabbath next brings round your--I will add, my gospel feast. I +will endeavor to meet you to-morrow evening, and to have you all on my +heart, then and on the Sabbath, in that one Lord, one faith, one +Spirit, one God and Father of all, who is above all, through all, and +in all redeemed to himself by Jesus Christ, and sanctified by that one +Spirit uniting all. What subjects! I cannot attain to the +comprehension, but I experience the truth and enjoy the comfort +of them." + + + The two following letters, addressed to a young lady whose +acquaintance Mrs. Graham made while at Boston, show how tenderly she +sympathized with the feelings of the young, and how earnestly she +sought their good. + + + To Miss M----, Boston. + + "There was, my dear Miss M----, something in your countenance and +manner, at our last interview, which has dwelt on my mind ever since. +Your former attentions, which I also marked, I attributed to the +natural benevolence of your heart; but your following a stranger, an +old woman, of whom you know so little, and whom you were likely never +to see again, to solicit her friendship and an interest in her +prayers, spoke a language beyond nature. Either my sweet friend has +already chosen God in Christ to be her portion, and his love in her +heart powerfully draws her to every one in whom she thinks she +discerns his image, or she conceives that this world cannot give her +happiness even in this life; and impressed with the importance of that +which is to come, she wishes to cast in her lot among God's people, +that she may know the good of his chosen and rejoice in their joy, and +become a partaker of that peace which the Saviour bequeathed to his +disciples when about to leave them: 'Peace I leave with you. My peace +I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you; let not +your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' + + "Let me congratulate my friend, which ever of these be the case. +If the first, you have, or will soon have, a peace which the world can +neither give nor take away; if the last, the Saviour stands at the +door of your heart and knocks, soliciting that heart which has too +long been hunting shadows and vanity. If your soul is dissatisfied +with the things of the world, and tired with disappointment, cast a +longing eye to the fountain of happiness. This is the claim of that +God whose name is love: 'My son, give me thy heart.' 'Come unto me, +all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' 'In +the world ye shall have tribulation, but in me ye shall have peace.' +Be assured, my dear friend, if you could obtain all of this world that +your heart could wish for, you would find vanity written on the +possession. Nothing short of God himself can give happiness to the +soul; and exactly in proportion as man becomes weaned from the world, +and his affections centre in God, is he in possession of happiness. + + "But how is this to be attained? By God's own plan, and no other. +As many weary themselves in vain, hunting the shadows of time; so, +many great philosophers, sensible of this great truth, that God alone +can satisfy the rational soul, also weary themselves in vain, because +they will not seek the blessing in God's own way. 'When the world by +wisdom knew not God, it pleased him by the foolishness of +preaching'--what was esteemed so--'to save them that believe.' 'I +thank thee, O Father, that thou hast hid these things from the wise +and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.' + + "The Saviour said, 'Ye will not come to me, that ye might have +life. No man can come to the Father but by me. I am the way, the +truth, and the life.' 'Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye +have eternal life, and they are they which testify of me.' The +Scripture testifies what our own hearts must assent to, that human +nature is depraved and corrupt; broken off from God; at a distance +from him by sin; enmity against him in his true character; opposed to +his holy law, in its extent and spirituality: we are also helpless, +dead in trespasses and sins. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed +thyself'--blessed be God for what follows--'but in me is thy help.' + + "The same Scripture which testifies the misery of man, reveals +also his remedy--a remedy of God's own providing, by which man may be +restored to the image and favor of God, and to that communion with +him which is life and bliss. 'God so loved the world, that he gave +his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him might not +perish, but have everlasting life: for God sent not his Son into the +world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be +saved. And this is life eternal, that ye believe on him whom he hath +sent.' When man becomes convinced that he is lost, helpless, +wretched, lying at mercy, and submits to the method of God's own +providing; casts himself on the mercy of God in Christ, and coming to +him, rests on his free promise, 'Him that cometh to me, I will in no +wise cast-out;' disclaiming all confidence in himself, or in his own +works, he accepts of God's offered grace, in God's own way, a _free_ +and _finished_ salvation. This is the record of God, that he giveth +unto us eternal life, and this life is in his Son; who, of God, is +made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and +complete redemption. Believing this, according to his faith it shall +be. Christ shall be in him, 'a well of water springing up to +everlasting life.' He will shed abroad his love in his heart, and +according to his promise, give him power to become a child of God. +The Holy Ghost, the Comforter, shall be given unto him, to teach him +the knowledge of the Scriptures, and to become a principle of +holiness in his heart. Then shall he find that wisdom's ways are ways +of pleasantness, and all her paths peace; then shall he experience +the blessedness of that man whose God is the Lord; then is the way +open for communion and converse with God the Father, Son, and Holy +Ghost. + + "If, my dear Miss M----, I have made myself understood, you have +my view of God's method of making his creatures happy; and I believe +he will make us to know that he is a sovereign God, and that there is +no other name, or method, by which men can be saved, but the name of +Christ Jesus. But, take nothing on my word, nor the word of any +creature; search the Scriptures; read the first eight chapters of the +Romans, the whole of the Ephesians: stumble not at mysteries--pass +them over, and take the milk for babes; pray for the teaching of the +Spirit; and let me recommend to you the advice of Mr. Newton, in his +Omicron's Letters, a book well worth your reading. 'Lay not too much +stress on detached texts, but seek for the sense which is most +agreeable to the general strain of Scripture.' + + "My dear Miss M----, I am now old, and I hope have done with the +world; but I have been young and drunk deeply of youth's choicest +pleasures. I was blest with the best and most indulgent of parents; I +was the wife of a man of sense, sentiment, and sensibility, who was my +very first love and lover; and that love ripened and improved with +years. My children were good and healthy; love, health, peace, and +competency blessed our dwelling. I had also, in early life, taken hold +of God's covenant, and tasted his covenant love; and devoted myself to +his service, which was in my mind a principle of moderation, compared +with mere worldlings; but very far was I from that non-conformity to +the world which the precept of the gospel requires. Had I kept close +to my covenant God, enjoyed his bounty with thankfulness, occupied my +talents, devoted my time to usefulness and communion with him; had I +prayed against corruption within and temptation without, the Lord +would have directed my steps and held up my goings, and I should have +continued to inherit the earth, and should not have been diminished. +But this was very far from being my conduct; the bent of the natural, +unrenewed heart, is still opposed to God; and the best are sanctified +only in part, while in this life; the law in the members still wars +against the law of the Spirit of life in the mind. The goodness of +God, which ought to have been a powerful motive to gratitude, love, +and diligence, was misimproved; I enjoyed the gifts, and forgot the +giver; 'hugged my comforts to death.' Many, many light chastisements, +my dear, my kind, my indulgent heavenly Father exercised me with; I +had many repenting seasons under his strokes, many manifestations of +pardon I received, and many fresh and solemn dedications of my heart, +life, and substance did I make; but no sooner was ease and comfort +restored, than my heart turned aside like a deceitful bow: my whole +life, from fifteen till the thirtieth year of my age, was one +continued succession of departure and backsliding on my part--of +chastening, forgiving, restoring, and comforting on the part of +my God. + + "He did not cast me off, but dealt with me according to the +constitution of his well-ordered covenant: 'If his children,' +Christ's, 'forsake my law and walk not in my judgments, if they break +my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I visit their +transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes. +Nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor +suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break, nor +alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89:30. This is the +covenant--made with Christ as the head of all who believe--of which I +took hold in early life; my God kept me to my choice, and manifested +his own faithfulness and the stability of his covenant. When lighter +afflictions proved ineffectual, he at last, at one blow, took from me +all that made life dear, the very kernel of all my earthly joys, my +idol, my beloved husband. Then I no longer halted between two +opinions; my God became my all. I leave it as my testimony, that he +has been a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow, the +stranger's shield and orphan's stay. Even to hoar hairs and to old age +he has carried me, and not one good word has failed of all that he has +promised. 'He has done all things well,' and at this day I am richer +and happier than ever I was in my life. Not that I am yet made free +from sin, that is still my burden--want of love and gratitude, +indolence in commanded duty, self-will, and nestling in the creature. +But my heart's wish and earnest desire is conformity to the divine +will. The bent of my will is for God; and if my heart deceive me not, +my God is the centre of my best affections. It is by grace that I am +what I am, and the same grace engages to perfect the work begun. + + "This God is my God; he will guide me even unto death, through +death, and be my portion to eternity. This God I recommend to my +friend; and this well-ordered covenant, this all-sufficient Saviour, +for your acceptance: the Bible for your guide, pray to God for his +Holy Spirit to lead you to the knowledge of the very truth as it is in +Jesus. Accept this as a testimony of friendship, and believe me + + "Yours, in love, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + To the same. + + "NOVEMBER 2, 1800. + + "You have, I find, been the child of affliction: she is a stern, +rugged nurse; but blessed often are the lessons she teaches. I have, +says God, chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. It is God's +ordinary way of drawing sinners to himself, either to dry up or +imbitter the streams of worldly comfort, that he may shut them up to +seek that comfort that depends not on any transitory source. + + "I have no doubt but you shall yet sing with the royal Psalmist, +'It is good for me that I have been afflicted; for before I was +afflicted I went astray, but now I have kept thy word. Blessed is the +man thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law.' Many +are the texts to the same purport; take them for your consolation as a +part of God's well-ordered covenant. + + "You have met with a late bereavement, which has entered deep +into your soul. We are not called to stoicism, but to tenderness of +heart and spirit. Jesus wept with the two sisters over a brother's +grave. But still, the Christian's spirit must be resigned, and say, +and try to say with cheerfulness, 'Not my will, but thine be done.' +And Oh, my friend, great will be the wisdom and happy the +acquisition, if every new bereavement enlarge the room for divine +love in the heart, and be filled up with that most noble, most +blessed of principles. Seek not, my friend, to replace friendship +with any mere worldling; beg of God to fill up the vacuum, then will +you be a great gainer. + + "Why hesitate to join the church? Let not a sense of unworthiness +keep you back--a deep sense of unworthiness is one grand part of due +preparation; and no worthiness of yours can give you any title to that +new testament in Christ's blood, which was shed for the remission of +sins. Worthless, vile, empty, helpless is every son and daughter of +Adam's race: but it was for the ungodly that Christ died; it was while +we were without strength; his name was called Jesus, because he should +save his people from their sins. In that day, that great day of the +feast, Jesus stood among a mixed multitude, and cried, 'If any man +thirst, let him come to me and drink--whosoever will, let him take the +water of life freely.' + + "If conscious at the time it is the supreme desire of your soul +to be washed in his blood, clothed with his righteousness, sanctified +by his Spirit, go and take this water of life freely; go as a +_sinner_ to a _Saviour_; go at his command, put honor on his +appointment, and repeat the dedication of all that you _are_, +_have_, or _can_ have, over the symbols of his body broken +for you, his blood shed for you; go, trusting in his mercy, and leave +all to his management, believing that _he will_ shed abroad his +love in your heart, order your footsteps in his ways, and in due time +perfect his image in your soul. Keep close to him in the use of means, +but look beyond the means for life and power. I commit you to our God +and Saviour, and pray that he may be to you 'wisdom, righteousness, +sanctification,' and complete 'redemption.' + + "I am, my dear Miss M----, + + "Your ever affectionate, + + "I.G." + + + In March, 1801, the health of her daughter Mrs. B----, requiring +a sea-voyage and absence from care, Mr. and Mrs. B---- sailed for +Britain, and the following letters were addressed to them during +their absence: + + + "MARCH 23, 1801. + + "MY DEAR CHILDREN--This is mortifying to us all that you should +be anchored half a mile from us, and there lie for hours; but even +this, trifling as it may appear, has its end to answer in _His_ +scheme, without whom 'not a sparrow falls.' I have retired with my +Bible, to commit you, and all my cares and concerns, afresh to that +God whose goodness and mercy have followed us through life; who is my +God, your God, and the God of our children; who answered my prayers in +opposition to my inconsistent conduct; took you out of my idolatrous +management into his own more merciful guidance. He has done all things +well, and he will perfect his own work. + + "Now, may the Angel that redeemed you, be with you, keep you in +the hollow of his hand, and as the apple of his eye; be with you on +his own ocean, and command the billows not to touch you; carry you to +the bosom of your dear native country, where a large proportion of his +body live in him and by him; bless you, and make you a blessing +wherever his providence shall carry you, and restore you with +blessings to us, in his own time. Amen." + + + "SABBATH, after morning service, March 29. + + "This, my dear children, is a day of storm, wind, and rain. O +that the prayer of our dear pastor, and I hope of many present, may be +with you, and be answered to and for you: Lord, be with that family, +who now, on the mighty ocean, desire an interest in our prayers. May +he whom winds and waves obey, preserve them in this tempestuous +season; may they see and improve his wonders in the great deep; may +the blessings of the everlasting gospel preserve their souls in peace, +conduct them in safety to their destined port, and restore them to us, +enriched with the blessings of thy well-ordered covenant. + + "I sent two notes for the Dutch churches, enclosed to Mr. B----; +one for Wall-street, to Mr. A----, and one for the Brick church, to +Mr. M----. I watered all with my tears. + + + "FIVE O'CLOCK." + + "O, how it blows and rains. O my children, how my poor heart +aches for you; if not in danger, yet sick, and in much discomfort. I +gave a note in the old church in the afternoon, supposing the +congregation on this dreadful day to be different. Mr. M---- prayed: +"The Angel of thy presence be with them; give them much of the +consolations of thy Spirit. Conduct them in safety to the place of +their destination, and restore them, enriched with thy blessing, to +worship with us again in this thy house of prayer.' I write on this +day merely to record, for your perusal, the prayers of your church. I +think you ought, if the Lord conduct you safe, to propose public +thanks to that God who heard and answered, if agreeable to Mr. M----. +Write me how it was with you on this day. Now I will go to a throne of +grace for you and all of us. O keep close to the Lord; may he save you +from a dissipated, trifling, carnal spirit; may he sanctify all your +comforts, and give you a just estimation of all you see and hear: may +the Christian's portion rise more and more; and the world and its +vanities sink in your view." + + + "APRIL 10. + + "What the Lord is going to do with his and my children I know +not; but the Samuel Elam has returned to port with a leak, after being +out nineteen days. On the day of storm, she had seven feet of water in +her hold. I hope the Lord, in mercy to you, to his church, and to me +his unworthy servant, has guided you in safety, and that the prayers +of his church were answered in your behalf. O, my children, what would +be the situation of my heart had I not confidence of your being within +the ark. I desire to rejoice over all my fears, for this unspeakable +consolation, that nothing can hurt you. I experience for you what I +did in my own case, when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of +many, while our vessel kept dashing on the rock: I, too, expected her +to go to pieces every moment; but the idea was ever with me, 'in the +bosom of God's ocean, I shall find the bosom of my Saviour.' On the +night of the 29th of March I dreamt my dear J----y fell overboard, and +I saw her floating on the billows, supporting herself by her little +chair: this is the state of my mind; yet I am thankful, and enjoy much +peace. The Lord has given me what I have asked--the salvation of your +souls. In a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne. +Well may I leave to him all intervening circumstances, as well as who +goes first, and how. O how he blesses my latter end, how he soothes +and comforts my old age; far other things have I merited, that my soul +knows; but he has not only pardoned, but comforts, and draws a veil +over my transgressions, covering them from the world's observation. +What can I say? He is God, a God of mercy." + + + "APRIL 17. + + "I have brought the reality near me, that mine eyes may never +behold you again on earth. I can say, even of that, it is well; but +the idea of the horrors of tempest, a leaky vessel racked by the +storm, and sinking by inches; sickness, nervous timidity, and the +sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be +attained, is my chief disquietude, I will not even say distress, +because when these horrors--horrors they are to mere nature--dart +across my mind, filling my soul with momentary anguish, Satan too +seeking to distract my mind, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a +standard against him, and comforts me with his own word, the +everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the +believer's lot. Thousands of times have I grasped that promise, 'Leave +thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' I pleaded it for +the life of their souls; He answered my prayers; he has given them +life, and they live to him. Yes, I see the fruit, and though +iniquities still prevail against them, he still purges away their +transgressions; kindles their repentance; humbles their souls; lays +them prostrate in penitential confession; washes them afresh in the +open fountain; restores to them the joys of his salvation; seals their +pardon by shedding abroad his love in their hearts, and making them +walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake. + + "Thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various +means of his own appointing, and some terrible things in +righteousness, in the course of his providence; in all which he is +sovereign, but ever consistent with his new covenant name, as +proclaimed to Moses on the mount, as manifested in the character of +God dwelling with us in our own nature, in whom mercy shone prominent; +by which mercy they shall appear in Zion, before God, in due time. + + "Is it so? Is this God my God, and the God of my seed? Is he +himself become our salvation? Are we heirs of God and joint-heirs with +Christ? Is our life hid with Christ in God? When he appears, shall we, +I and the children which he hath given me, in very deed appear with +him in glory? Is all this so, and shall I tremble at the approach of +any of his providences? Shall I not say when it has taken place, 'The +will of the Lord be done,' especially when clothed with love? I trust +that as my day, so shall my strength be, and in the interim I have the +same confidence for you; for 'he giveth power to the faint, and to +them that have no might he increaseth strength.'" + + + "APRIL 25. + + "The wind roars and howls in my windows, though not facing the +storm, and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming +billows of the ocean. The name of our God is my consolation: 'though +the waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the +swelling thereof, there is a river the streams whereof shall make glad +the city of God. God shall help her, and that right early.' When I +walk about Zion, and go round about her, when I tell the towers +thereof, mark her bulwarks, and consider her palaces, my heart +rejoices that 'this God is our God; he will be our guide even unto +death; and O the joy that my children are the citizens of this Zion, +and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in +Christ's blood. A covenant of works it was to our Surety, and his +heart's blood finished the requisites of it. It is now a testament to +you, sealed by the same blood. Wherever in his word I meet the +character, the providence, the work of God, I read my own and my +children's interest. I hope your experience shall be in Psalm 107:28. +If not wholly, it shall terminate in Psalm 23:4. Though you walk +through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear no evil, for +this God, who is your guide even unto death, shall be with you, his +rod and staff shall comfort you; and our darling Jessy he shall carry +as a lamb in his arms, and hide her from the horrors, in his bosom. I +dwell much on these subjects, and I feel comforted, whatever be +the event. + + "If the Lord has carried you safe through, and you live to read +this in the body, know that our God continues to bless us abundantly +in health, peace, and plenty, as to temporals; we also experience the +peace of his covenant, and have tastes of the bread and of the water +of life. Thanks, all thanks to our new covenant Head for the stability +of the covenant; we change, but he changeth not. He himself is the +covenant given to the people, and because he lives, his people shall +live also, in spite of Satan and his colleague sin in our hearts: sin +may, and does bring his people into captivity, but it shall not keep +them in bondage for ever. The time of deliverance shall come, when +they shall revive as the corn. Oh, is it not a well-ordered covenant, +and sure?" + + + Her next letter gives an illustration of fidelity in a difficult, +and, it is to be feared, much-neglected duty. + + + "MAY 10, 1801. + + "MY DEAR CHILDREN--Last evening was preparation sermon. Mr. Y---- +preached a very excellent sermon from the Song of Solomon, 'Who is +this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?' First +the wilderness of this world, next the church coming up, then the +attitude leaning, and on whom; I thought the simile well supported, +and practical, as he went on. His application was rich on the +Christian's support, where he brought into view many of the names +of Christ. + + "After sermon we witnessed a most affecting scene; two female +members rebuked and restored to the communion of the church. Never, +never did our dear Mr. M---- shine so bright in my eyes; many tears +were shed. I knew nothing of it, and wondered to what he was leading, +when he addressed the congregation, after sermon, upon Christian walk, +watchfulness, and temptation, and the distress occasioned in Christian +society when any of the members were left to fall into open and +aggravated sin. Such was the case in our own congregation: two, naming +the offenders, had been so far left; but while deeply wounded by the +sin and scandal, he was consoled by their penitence: he assured the +congregation that they had given great evidence of deep contrition; +and were now come forward to acknowledge their crime before their +offended and grieved brethren, and to give all the satisfaction in +their power, by submitting to the censure of the church in this public +manner, which, although painful to him, he must pronounce according to +God's appointment. 'Them who sin before all, rebuke before all.' He +then asked them to rise; scarce an individual turned to look; many +were weeping while he laid before them their guilt in strong, yet +tender terms; and finished by expressing his approbation of their thus +submitting to the rod, and exhorting them to humility and redoubled +watchfulness. Then again he addressed the members, requesting them to +receive into their Christian love and affection their repenting, +returning sisters; that they would treat them with tenderness, and +restore them in the spirit of meekness, considering themselves as also +in the body and subject to temptation. 'Let no one put them in +remembrance of the sin which the Father of mercies has blotted out, +nor open those wounds which he has closed,' 'He doth not chide +continually, nor retain his anger for ever.' + + "May the Lord bless the discipline of his church; may he meet us +to-morrow with multiplied pardons: may he melt our hearts to +contrition, heal our backslidings, and manifest himself as married +unto us; may he bring us into his banqueting house and his banner over +us be love; may his grace be magnified and his name glorified; and may +he send a portion to my dear children--yea, a Benjamin's portion; may +he open wide the leaves of that new testament, and let them read their +rich inheritance and rejoice in their portion. + + "Farewell, my dear children. The Lord bless you, keep you, guide +you, and cause his face to shine on you, prays your affectionate +mother." + + + The following to the same, was written while on a visit to a +worldly friend: + + + "MAY 21, 1801. + + "I would fain begin to hope that my children are now on, or near +the green fields of Albion. Many a severe gale has agitated them, and +tried their faith and confidence before this day. But as He who +sitteth on the clouds, commanding and governing the elements, is +their own God in covenant, who loves them, careth for them, and +perfects what concerns them, I hope they have had much of his +presence: I hope they have found, even on the boisterous ocean, +amidst the horrors of the swelling deep, agitated with winds and +tempests, all things necessary to life and godliness in these great +and precious promises, accompanied by divine power, by which they are +made partakers of divine life, and escape the pollution that is in +the world through lust. I hope they are enriched in experience, and +advanced in the divine life, by all they have suffered, and all they +have tasted of divine support in their sufferings; that Christ is +still more precious, his word more tried, and their confidence in him +more established: if so, great is their gain. And our darling J----, +being a sharer in the suffering, shall, at her God's hand, be also a +gainer, though it be not evident to our perception. O how rich is the +Christian, how inexhaustible his portion! his table is ever +furnished, his cup ever full; all is blessing, no curse mingled--that +our Surety took to himself; prosperity and adversity, sickness and +health, light and darkness, all, all shall bless us, work for our +good, turn to our profit, and end in the glory of God and our +unspeakable, inconceivable happiness. + + "I have been here a week yesterday; all vegetable nature glows +and shines in the perfection of beauty; flowers, shrubs, trees, grain, +grass, falling waters turning the busy mill, the brook murmuring on +its way to the ocean, fit emblem of eternity, all glorify their +Creator; and although no such birds as in Britain charm the listening +ear, we have some sweet chirpers of his praise; and what is wanting to +the ear, is made up to the eye, for in beauty they excel. + + "These I may enjoy; with these hold communion; for Oh, spiritual +death holds all within these walls in dismal bondage; not one symptom +of life appears, but death, as the dry bones in the valley of vision. +Why do I not wrestle more for the Spirit to breathe on them? I do +pray: but Oh, formal, formal." + + + To the same. + + "JUNE 17, 1801. + + "MY DEAR CHILDREN--Difficult it is for me to exercise patience: +the 23d, of this month will make three months since you waved the +handkerchief on board the Mars, off the Battery. I had made up my mind +not to give way to expectation short of three months; they are nearly +past: how many events take place in that space of time; how many +duties ought to be performed; how many sins are really committed; how +guilty to wish to annihilate the time that a certain event may come +round. For every moment of time we must account, and not one moment of +it can we recall. Much you have seen; much you have suffered; much, +perhaps, also enjoyed: for the Lord can give songs in the night, and +in a dungeon. 'Surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him;' to +them there is no want. The Lord is their shepherd, he feedeth them in +green pastures beside the gently flowing waters; if they wander, he +restoreth them, perhaps with the rod, but it is the rod of love; they +need not be afraid to enter even the valley of the shadow of death; +their Shepherd is with them, and his rod, rod of support, and staff +shall comfort them. + + "I hope this has been a profitable time to you both; that you +have seen more of the evil of sin, and of your own hearts, their +deceitful double turnings and windings to cover and conceal the enemy +of God and your own souls; more of the extent and spirituality of the +divine law, fulfilled indeed in every jot and tittle by your Surety; +but still doubly binding on you as a rule of life in the hand of your +Redeemer, who hath bought you to himself, and taken you into his own +hands, that you might be a holy people to himself, delivered not +merely from the penalty and curse, but from the power and indwelling +of sin. I hope you have seen more of the unsearchable riches of +Christ in all he has done and is now doing for your and his church's +happiness, and of those exceeding great and precious promises by +which you are made partakers of the-divine life, and privileged to +escape the pollution that is in the world through lust; more of the +faithfulness of God, as a God in Christ, pardoning sin and +reconciling you to himself; and day by day, teaching you by his word, +Spirit, and providences. + + "I am but just beginning to see that I am blind; my own character +opening upon me as a sinner, in heart and tongue and conduct, against +my God, my neighbor, and my own soul: how comes it then that I am at +ease in God's world; in health, in peace, in comfort, all in an +extraordinary degree as to temporals; and as to spirituals, though +grieved with self, my joy in Christ also abounds. Can I believe it? +What can I say; what can I render to the Lord for all his gifts to me? +Nothing can I do, but just take the cup of salvation, calling upon the +name of the Lord, and remain an eternal debtor to his grace for +spirituals and temporals." + + + "JUNE 26. + + "By this time you are already in port, on earth or in heaven. +Blessed alternative. Ought I to be sad, who can say, 'or in heaven?' O +no, I trust grace will be given to acquiesce in his most blessed will; +a most gracious will it has been to me and mine. + + "I wrote you in my last, that our dear Mr. M---- leaves us next +month for Britain; his errand is to state the situation of this +country, as greatly in want of ministers and the means of educating +ministers. Many of his people are dissatisfied, as he has two +congregations to supply, and a large family of his own. Why should he +be the man? For my own part, I think he is the very man; and I am +thankful to feel a degree of disinterestedness. Though I love my +minister, value his ministry and his person, I hope the general +interest of Christ's body is more dear to me, and of infinitely more +importance than my private comfort, which, after all, I do not believe +can suffer by parting cheerfully with its apparent food to Christ, who +himself is the sum and substance of all that any minister can be +instrumental in conveying. All means are alike to him, or no means. I +therefore rejoice in his will, and pray that the Lord may prosper him, +give him a double portion of his Spirit, and favor in the eyes of all +whose influence is necessary to advance the Redeemer's kingdom +in America. + + "Our friend Mrs. K---- is gone; she died suddenly: both Mr. and +Mrs. T---- died at their country-seat; he first. She fancied she was +getting better. The physician advised her not to ride, as she could +not stand the fatigue; she had more faith in air and exercise: the +last day she went out she fainted getting into the carriage, and again +coming out; and died in the afternoon. She lived near us, yet I never +saw her, nor offered one kind office towards the salvation of her +soul, which, if lost, leaves me not innocent of her blood, and if +saved, as I hope it may be, my sinful neglect is not the less. What a +picture in them of the vanity of all under the sun; and in me of the +evil of procrastination, for I meant to visit her. O my Saviour, is +this the return I make for the millions of pardons which thou hast +passed on my account; sparing even the rod, and blessing me with +health, restored limbs, and mercy on mercy, comfort on comfort? I want +words to paint my abominable ingratitude, indolence, and cruelty; and +yet, Oh yet I am spared, and my mercies are spared, as far as I +know--but trial may be at hand. Perhaps I write what my children may +never read. Well, even then, mercy, mercy shall be my song; for I sing +the song on earth which they sing in heaven. I am just going to town +to attend preparation sermon. Our feast is on Sabbath." + + + "JULY 17, 1801. + + "What shall I render to the Lord for all his mercies--mercies +temporal, mercies spiritual, mercies eternal, multiplied mercies? The +one thing that I asked of the Lord has been answered in full, and Oh, +how much added. God himself become my salvation, and the salvation of +my house; how unspeakable the blessing. Although chastisement and +affliction were the means of correction and sanctification, or even +the vengeance taken on my inventions, yet, as a God, he at the same +time pardoneth. For Oh, my character is ever the same with backsliding +Judah and treacherous Israel. Glory to that name which is ever the +same, and changeth not. 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and +gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving +iniquity, transgression, and sin.' This was his name among a +stiff-necked people, an idolatrous, ungrateful people; this is his +name to me alike in character. O how he has magnified this name to me, +a backslider in heart and life; multiplying pardons while I have +multiplied transgressions: still he has been last with me, healing my +backsliding; restoring my soul; leading me to the open fountain; +giving faith to wash, and joy and peace in believing; not only so, but +in this land of drought, this waste howling wilderness, this vale of +tears, where 'man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards,' my +cup with temporal comfort is full and running over; all his creatures +minister to my comfort; and as days and nights roll on, his daily +providence adds, and diminishes not. + + "I had hardly hoped to see the faces of my children again; for he +commanded, and raised the stormy winds and lifted up the waves of the +sea; they mounted to heaven and sunk again to the deep; death with all +its _natural_ horrors surrounded them; the deep yawned to devour +them; but God, their own God, was at hand, their anchor of hope, their +ark of safety, their hiding-place till the calamity was past: they +cried to him, and he saved them out of their distresses; he made the +storm a calm, and the waves thereof still, and brought them to the +desired haven. This trouble was not unto death, but for the glory of +God and the exercising of your faith, for the manifestation of his +power and goodness, and the enriching of your experience. + + "O then let us praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his +wonderful works to the children of men. Let us exalt him in the +congregation of his people, and praise him in the assembly of +the elders." + + + "OCTOBER 23, 1801. + + "Surely, surely my heart feels grateful for the time, though +this, like every other good motion, will, like the morning dew, soon +pass away. + + "My children not only preserved through the tempestuous storms +that threatened death with circumstances shocking to nature, but my +poor sick child preserved during a long and fatiguing journey; that +journey made comfortable, yea, delightful, by the warm reception of +many kind friends, dear to nature, and many doubly endeared by grace: +among the last, the mother and sisters of the kindest and best of +husbands; they receiving her as their own flesh and blood, as well as +their fellow-member in Christ; blest with a measure of health to enjoy +all, and a measure of grace to profit by all; eyeing by faith the dear +invisible hand of a covenant God, preserving, leading, guiding through +every step--his love the marrow of the whole, and their charter for +safety, even amidst the dangers of prosperity. + + "Is not godliness gain? profitable for this life as well as that +which is to come? What is the portion of the worldling? even in this +life 'shadowy joy or solid woe,' without a balance to the first, or +consolation in the last; no sure footing in the one, nor support in +the other; distanced from the fountain of happiness by nature, +prosperity incrusts their hearts and increases their carnality; +nestling in their worldly comforts, they forget they are the creatures +of a day, that an endless eternity lies before them, and only the +feeble uncertain thread of life between them and that curse under +which they were born. Not so the child of God; all things work +together for his good--_all things;_ his standing is not in +himself; his footsteps are directed by infinite wisdom: he is kept by +the power of God, through faith, unto salvation. Nothing can separate +him from the love of God. His life is hid with Christ in God: there is +cause to rejoice always; his privileges are boundless, infinite, for +God himself is become his salvation. + + "Have we then any cause for fear? Yes, my children, yes; though +nothing can rob us of our charter, there is another side to be beheld. +In Christ we have all things richly to enjoy, but we have not all in +possession: what we have is by faith; all is secured by our Surety for +eternity. We shall overcome by the blood of the Lamb; but by the +constitution of the covenant we must enter into that rest, that +perfect rest, through great tribulation. While our eternal salvation +is secured by our Surety, it hath pleased infinite Wisdom to appoint +another connection, which shall exist while we remain on earth: even +the connection between our steadfastness, consequently our comfort, +and the means of grace which he hath appointed, making the first to +depend in a great measure on our diligent use of the last, insomuch +that a great number of the promises are proposed conditionally. Many +exhortations are given in this view, and also many threatenings. 'They +that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,' etc. 'Seek, and ye +shall find; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened +unto you.' 'Abide in me; as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, no +more can ye, except ye abide in me.' + + "Close, intimate, near communion with God, is to be sought by +means of prayer, meditation, and reading. If the Christian be careful +to husband time, and set apart a portion for God, and set about these +duties, he will not always miss communion; and this prepares him for +other duties, and arms him against temptation; as the promise is +concerned to keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. +'If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how +much more will your heavenly Father give his Holy Spirit to them that +ask him.' 'So shall ye know the Lord, if ye follow on to-know him.' +'Delight thyself in God, he will give thee the desire of thy heart.' +'Nevertheless, I will be inquired of by the house of Israel,' etc. +'If his children forsake my laws, and go astray, I will visit their +faults,' etc. 'Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.' +'But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet,' etc. 'Thy +Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.' All is laid +before us in the Scriptures, in the view of comfort during our +pilgrimage, as well as the certainty of our inheritance in the end; +the ground whereon we stand, our danger, and the means of safety. +See Eph. 6:11. + + "There is provision made in the covenant for great comfort, +consistent with human frailty and imperfection, but not with +carelessness and negligence. While, therefore, we rejoice in the Lord, +we have good reason to join trembling with our exultation; while +standing high in comfort, to take heed lest we fall, through the +deceitfulness of sin. We carry about with us 'a body of sin and +death;' 'the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he +may devour.' We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with +principalities and powers,' etc. We live in a world lying in +wickedness; the captives of sin and Satan exerting every faculty to +banish all thoughts of God, death, and eternity; contriving, with +unwearied industry and amazing ingenuity, new gratifications for body +and mind in endless variety, suited to all constitutions, all tempers +and dispositions, and to those in all circumstances. Of these, the +most rational are the most subtle, and, in the hand of the enemy, the +most calculated to keep men ignorant of themselves, their misery, and +of the great salvation; and alas, by these he often _spoils_ +unwary Christians, who, though heirs of heaven, heirs of God, and +joint-heirs with Christ, are, during their minority, subject to like +passions with themselves, and ever in danger of being spoiled of their +comforts when off their guard. + + "With the people of the world Christians have much to do: they +are fellow-members of society with them; they have many duties to +perform to them, with them, and by them; many of the things of the +world are necessary to them, many of its pleasures lawful; for 'the +earth is the Lord's and the fulness thereof,' and he gives them of it +as his wisdom sees good for them. That which he gives them they gather +in the same manner as and in society with the world, by industry and +diligence in their lawful calling and business. Keeping near the +Captain of salvation, and armed in his whole armor, they are safe. +When off their guard, the vigilant enemy gains some advantage, and +they get into trouble. O how many gracious names our dear Redeemer has +assumed in his word, for our comfort, our meditation, our spiritual +exercise; how pleasant and delightful in the light of his countenance +to analyze them! Besides the names peculiar to himself as God-man, how +many has he condescended to take from among men, and the natural +comforts and safeguards of men--our Shepherd, our Rock, our Ark, all +the relations in life--and ends with our All in all. But I must have +done, that I may tell you that goodness and mercy follow us in this +family also." + + + "July 28, 1801. + + "My dear pastor, Mr. M----, sailed for Britain. I thank thee, +good and kind Shepherd of Israel, for all those providences, which +seemed small things at the time, that hedged me into that +congregation; for all the benefits and comforts I enjoyed under the +ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne, and that thou +preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his +departure came. + + "I thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor, of +nature and grace. I thank thee, that thou hast kept him faithful to +Him who has called him, and for the precious treasure thou hast put in +that earthen vessel. + + "Now, Lord, that thou hast called him to leave his family and his +flock, to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou +requirest, go with him, prosper him, overrule all his concerns for thy +glory, the good of his soul, of the church in general, and his own +little flock in particular. Amen. Glorify thy name" + + + + + CHAPTER VIII. + + JOURNAL AND LETTERS--LADIES' SCHOOL + FOR POOR CHILDREN. + + + "NOVEMBER 22, 1801. + + "ISABELLA SMITH," a grandchild, "is very ill; she appears to be +in a stupor. Two physicians are attending, but my eyes are to the +Lord. She is his own, given to him by faith, as a covenant God in +Christ for her in particular, for ourselves and our children. I desire +not to draw back, but, the Lord strengthening me, to give up at his +call. If it be his will to spare her, she is still his own, to be done +by, with, and for, as his infinite wisdom may see fit, for his own +glory and her eternal interest. If he is about to remove her out of +the world, she is his own; out of the mouth of this babe will he +perfect praise; with that company of whom is the kingdom of heaven, +she shall join in the song of Moses and the Lamb, 'to Him that loved +us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to him be glory, +honor, dominion, and power.' + + "O Lord, one petition I prefer--if it be thy will to take her out +of the world, take her in thine arms and carry her through the dark +valley; grant to her a gentle and easy passage, and an abundant +entrance into thy kingdom; and tune our hearts to sing, 'The Lord +gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.' +Amen." + + + "NOVEMBER 23. + + "This day the dear Isabella joined the church triumphant, and +took her place among that company which Christ has pronounced blessed. +I yesterday asked of the Lord that he would take her in his arms and +carry her through the dark valley, that he would give her a gentle and +easy passage, and an abundant entrance into his kingdom. He heard my +prayer; it was indeed soft and gentle; not a struggle, not a groan; +and the affliction which brought down the frame was moderate +throughout. I was enabled to resign the Lord's own into his own hand, +in the faith that he did receive, and would keep that which I +committed to him. + + "My soul is satisfied--more than satisfied; I rejoice, and +congratulate the lovely babe on her early escape from a world of sin +and sorrow, to the arms of her dear Redeemer, and to perfect +blessedness with him." + + + "NOVEMBER 24. + + "It is done--finished--the soul with God, the body in the tomb. +It is all well; yes, our covenant God, thou doest all things well. I +firmly believe thy mercy is over all thy works. Goodness, mercy, yea, +loving-kindness has marked thy every step. I believe it now. I shall +see it soon. + + "Now, our God, follow this bereavement with thy purifying, +sanctifying grace. Enable us all to search and try our ways. Lead our +souls into a knowledge of the secret corruptions of our hearts, that +we may confess and mourn over them, wash in the blood of Christ, be +pardoned, restored, and get a great victory. Enable us through life to +abide in Christ; to keep close to thee, transacting all our affairs +with thee, before they come into the view of the world. Let thy wisdom +and thy Spirit, in connection with thy providences, be our +counsellors. O keep us in a dependent frame of mind, humble and +watchful. Strip us of all self-confidence. May we at the same time be +strong in the Lord and in the power of thy might; rejoicing in thee, +the God of our salvation, the strength of our heart, and our portion +for ever. Glory, glory, glory, to Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. +Amen, and Amen." + + + "DECEMBER, 1801. + + "It is my earnest desire to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge +of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' It is my desire to love the +Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength, +and with all my mind; and to love my neighbor as myself, so as to do +to Mm whatever I could expect from Christian principles in him, on an +exchange of circumstances. + + "It is my desire to give all diligence to add to my faith virtue, +to virtue knowledge, to knowledge temperance, to temperance patience, +to patience godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly +kindness charity, that these things being in me and abounding, I may +be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord and +Saviour Jesus Christ. + + "I desire to grow in grace day by day, to profit by every +ordinance of God's appointing, and by every providence; and I pray, +Lord, I pray that thou wouldst grant me my desire, so as that I may +become more spiritual, more discerning in the Scriptures, more +fruitful in good works: that thou mayest increase also my humility. +Open to my view more of the extent and spirituality of thy divine law; +the majesty, purity, holiness, of thy nature; the exceeding sinfulness +of sin; the hidden corruptions of my own heart, and my inability to +search them out, and to crucify them: give me also more just views of +my past life, that I may ever be convinced that I am, what I really +am, the very chief of sinners, and the least of all saints; and that +it is entirely of grace that I am what I am. O make out this promise +to me; I will record it in thine own words: 'I will establish my +covenant with thee: and thou shalt know that I am the Lord,' Ezekiel +16:62. I confess myself the character described in the two foregoing +chapters; and though thou hast chastened me ten thousand times less +than my iniquities deserve, even by the constitution of the new +covenant, thou hast chastened me. Now, O Lord, most merciful and +gracious, who 'pardonest iniquity, transgression, and sin,' for thy +name's sake, do to and for me as thou hast said: 'I will establish my +covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord. That thou +mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more +because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee for all that +thou hast done, saith the Lord God.' Amen." + + + To Mr. and Mrs. B----, in Britain. + + "DECEMBER 7, 1801. + + "I have received my dear J----'s three letters from Dingwall: +fresh matter of praise to our covenant God. You have had your season +of affliction; and now you have a season of refreshing, a +resting-time. The cup of the Christian is always more or less mixed. +Your afflictions have ever been mixed with much mercy, and now your +season of rest is also mixed. I well know that no temporal comfort can +compensate the absence of your justly beloved D----. He, however, who +is the God of both, who goes with him, and stays with you, can not +only support, but comfort. The omniscient, the omnipresent, the +omnipotent God is our God, and the God of our house; all that he is is +ours, to bless us. Behold, God is become our salvation. Every +endearing name known among men he takes to himself, to inspire us with +pleasing, confiding love--every name that connects the idea of +protection, to keep our minds in quiet peace, in the assurance of +safety: Father, Husband, Brother, Friend, Prophet, Priest, King, +Physician, Help, Health, Light, Life, Counsellor, Guide, Sanctuary, +Anchor--but I should fill my sheet. I said it all at first: God is +ours, and ours with the knowledge of all our backslidings, which he +heals; our wanderings, from which he restores us; and our sins, which +he forgives: one of his names is the God of pardons. He delights in +mercy. Are we not his witnesses? What has our whole life been, but +sin, backslidings, and wanderings? What have his dealings with us +been, but pardons, healings, restorations? Therefore we remain, as at +this day, with our desires towards him, and our faces Zion-wards. What +he hath begun he will perfect, and in a little while our eyes shall +behold him, our hearts shall enjoy him, we shall be like him, and see +him as he is." + + + To the same. + + "DECEMBER 26, 1801. + + "I rejoice over my dear children, and bless our gracious God that +he has led them a sweet and most delightful sojourning among his +churches, animating their spirits by their mutual communion; blessing +them, and, I hope, making them blessings. I pray the Lord may make our +dear D---- an instrument among others of spreading his gospel, +building up his church, and pulling down the strong-holds of Satan; +and that you may be in your place a help-meet for him, in this as in +every thing else. May the Lord choose his path and direct his steps, +and yours with him. Women were helpers of the apostles and others in +Paul's days: at the same time care must ever be taken not to obtrude +in any respect. I pray that you may be kept spiritual and humble: +eminence in God's service is truly desirable, if the heart be kept +humble. If the Lord open the eyes to behold more of the extent and +spirituality of his law, the holiness and purity of his nature, the +evil of sin, and its contrariety to all that is in God; and if he turn +the eyes inward to the hidden corruptions of the heart, when it is +evident to the soul that all is of grace, then may eminent services +be safe. + + "'I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes,' was the exercise +of Job; and justly so. Job, who was eyes to the blind and feet to the +lame, a father to the poor, and the cause which he knew not he +searched it out: when the ear heard him, it blessed him; when the eye +saw him, it gave witness to him; who withheld not the poor from his +desire, nor caused the eye of the widow to fail; the stranger did not +lodge in the street, but he opened his door unto the traveller: all +this was true as far as the external act, and as he then thought, with +a proper temper of heart, Job could justify himself before his +fellow-sinners, Blind like himself; but when God comes to deal with +him, how different his views. Then it was, 'Behold, I am vile; what +shall I answer thee? I will lay my hand on my mouth:' even with the +very best there is cause for this exercise, could we see in the +same light. + + "How deceitful is the human heart; how unfaithful the conscience; +how little do we know of the sins of our daily walk. We are called to +watch and pray, that we enter not into temptation; to walk with God in +close, intimate communion: whether we eat or drink, to do all to his +glory: to consult him in all the affairs of life, narrowly observing +his providence in connection with our circumstances; weighing all in +his presence, requesting him to determine our wills and direct our +steps. We ought not to say, 'We will go into such a city,' and do this +or that; but, 'If the Lord will.' How inconsistent our conduct with +these rules. How often do rashness, precipitation, and self-will +accompany our determinations and movements. And how often do His +goodness and wisdom over rule our folly, save us from our own pits, +and prevent the evil that might be expected. At no time does he deal +with us as we sin, though sometimes he stands by and allows us a taste +of our folly: then we are in trouble, we dig our pits and fall into +them, but we cannot deliver ourselves. O what a God! who, even at such +a time, says to us, 'Call on me in the time of trouble; I will deliver +thee, and thou shalt glorify my name; thou hast destroyed thyself, but +in me is Blessed help; mercy to pardon, goodness to wisdom to guide, +faithfulness to carry through and perfect what concerns us, overruling +our very follies, and causing them to teach us to profit. This is +God's way, according to many declarations of himself in his word, and +the experience of all his redeemed. + + "Blessed then is the man that trusteth in the Lord; they truly +are a blessed people whose God Jehovah is." + + + "FEBRUARY, 1802. + + "MY DEAR, MY BELOVED CHILDREN--I trust the Lord is your support; +I know you are in trouble; it cannot be that opportunities have been +wanting all this time, nor can it be that my children have been +negligent: no, no, I cannot suppose it. My children are in trouble; +they could not write that they were otherwise, and therefore remain +silent until they can write the issue. It is proper, and sure the Lord +feeds me with comfort. O the comfort of knowing that the Almighty God +is their own reconciled Father by an everlasting covenant; Christ, the +Mediator and Surety, their Advocate, Brother, and Friend; the Holy +Ghost their Teacher, Guide, and Comforter. It cannot be ill with my +dear children, who are also God's dear children. My Father, I know it, +thou chastenest for their profit. I know not where they are, nor how +they fare. I know not what to ask for them; but thou art everywhere +present, thine eye is upon them, thou knowest all their wants, all +their burdens, all their bereavements, or whatever tries them. O let +thy sensible presence be with them; open wide the leaves of that new +testament in Christ's blood, and let them read their rich legacy, +their unsearchable riches in Christ; give them confidence in thy +wisdom and goodness, and sweet acquiescence in all thy dealings with +them. Thou hast spared in mercy, perhaps now thou hast taken in mercy: +yes, thy tender mercies are over all thy works, and a large ingredient +in every cup thou puttest into the hand of thy children. It is well, +it is well. + + "Since writing the above, I have received my dear D----'s +letter, second copy, by the way of London. The Lord is your God. and +the God of your seed. John the Baptist leaped in the womb when the +salutation of Mary sounded in his mother's ears; he was then a living +soul, and an heir of salvation at that moment. If your babe was +conceived in sin by the first covenant, he is an heir of grace by the +second. Think it not hard; no, you do not think it hard that you have +conceived him in sickness, carried him in sickness, and suffered the +pangs of birth without the succeeding joy to make you forget your +anguish. All this shall be for the glory of God, and that is what you +seek; believe it now, you shall see it soon. I do sympathize; my fond +heart had embraced a sweet babe added to the family for one taken. +The Lord has taken this also; it is his due: I shall soon leave the +mortal and join the immortal; five have joined the head, six remain; +and one I know nothing of, more than that I cast him on the Lord, and +look for mercy. I thank my God that he gave you the grace of +resignation, and supported you in the solitary confinement. Alas, my +child, did you listen for the voice of your babe? O, what a suspense; +but let me stop--he had reached maturity ere that time; without the +fight, obtained the victory; he is of the travail of the Redeemer's +soul; children are God's heritage, the fruit of the womb his reward. +Rest then in the Lord; this is to his glory, both without and within +your soul." + + + "MAY 20, 1802. + + "MY DEAR CHILDREN--Here am I in my little room, surrounded with +every comfort, and as the provision of my God, I value all; but there +lies the chief, _my Bible_, the testament of my dying, risen, +ascended, reigning Saviour, bequeathing to me eternal life, executed +in full, and made as sure as the promise and oath of God. The +influences of the Holy Ghost on my mind, taking of the things of +Christ, and showing them unto me; opening wide the leaves of that new +testament, in which I read unsearchable riches, and my title to them +sure: yes, sure, even to me, a base idolatrous gentile, a rebel +against the eternal King, my Creator, Preserver, Provider; a +backslider in heart and in life. What has such a one to do with a holy +God? He hath said only return; and he himself hath turned to me, +chastened, convinced, restored, comforted. His ways are not as our +ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts; but as the heavens are above +the earth, so are his ways above our ways, and his thoughts high above +our thoughts, and his plans above our conception. For although it is +for ever true, that he is of purer eyes than to behold evil, and +cannot look on iniquity; that his law has denounced a curse upon the +transgressor who keepeth it not in every jot and tittle; it is for +ever true, that this God is unchangeable in his nature and purposes. +What he hath said, that will he do. It is for ever true, that I am all +I have said, and worse, a sinner in heart, tongue, and practice; yet +am I a beloved child, a justified one, an heir of God. + + "Here is the testament, here is my charter with the seal of God +upon it--JESUS, thou art the Secret of the Lord; thou art the Lion of +the tribe of Judah, the root and offspring of David. Thou hast +prevailed to open this book of secrets, to loose the seven seals, and +lay open its mysteries. Thou Lamb of God, the appointed and anointed +to the great work; in our room, and in our nature, thou hast sustained +the curse. Thou hast obeyed the law; thou hast drunk the last drop of +the last vial of that wrath which would have sunk my soul in the +endless depths of misery; and I never could have expended one drop, +but sunk deeper and deeper under it. O not unto me, not unto +ministers, not unto any creature be the praise. As for me, I am, in a +word, all that is vile in myself; ministers, providences, afflictions +are just what God makes them; without his blessing they will not only +pass without profiting, but Satan and corruption will make them +ministers to themselves. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, for he has +redeemed me with his blood. Worthy is the Lamb to receive power, and +riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and +blessing--to him, to him alone, be the praise; who, of an heir of +hell, hath made an heir of heaven, by a substitutional righteousness +wrought out in his own person: mine by free gift, in which I am +completely justified. To this work let nothing be added, with this +work let nothing be mixed. + + "There is another work going on by the same Spirit of truth; also +his purchase and gift--sanctification. In this I am called to occupy, +watch, strive, fight. Life is given; means of support and growth +provided; weapons of warfare--all things necessary to life and +godliness: these are promised to the diligent use of means; and +poverty, stagnation, discomfort threatened to the indolent. O how +sovereign and gracious has my God been in his dealings with me in this +respect also. For a sluggard have I been in the days of youth and the +prime of life; yet to me hath he given the comforts promised only to +the diligent. Here I sit on the verge of threescore; my heart in some +good measure loosened from the world, although in full possession of +it. Health, ease, plenty, elegance, friendship, respectability; old +age welcome, death unstung become a familiar friend, the messenger of +my Father to fetch me home to those mansions which my Redeemer has +taken possession of in my name. My hope is strong for my offspring. +Stately have been his steps of mercy towards them already, and he +saved them from their mother's snares; he heard and answered my +prayers, for his name's sake, and overruled my practices; he is my +God, and the God of my children; the God of my children's children to +the latest generation; my cup is full of comfort, temporal and +spiritual. O praise him, praise him, for he is your God, and the God +of your offspring also." + + + "JUNE 4, 1802. + + "Making allowances for the difference of time, and supposing my +dear children in health, all about them is in a racket. This is his +majesty's birthday; and you are at this moment, perhaps, set in some +social company, by invitation, to honor the anniversary, to repeat +the wish of long life, health, and comfort to the lawful sovereign +of Britain. + + "Here sit I in my dear little room, with a lovely landscape in +view; B. M----'s park in velvet verdure; the full-grown trees +scattered thin to display the carpet, and in full foliage; the clump +of willows weeping to the very ground, with a gentle wave agitated by +the zephyr; while the other trees keep their firm, majestic posture; +the Hudson river covered with vessels crowded with sail to catch the +scanty breeze; some sweet little chirpers regaling the ear with their +share of pleasure. I think I never heard any little warbler in this +land sing so sweet as those which now salute my ear. + + "These are thy glorious works, Parent of good.' + + "Can all the philosophic ingenuity of London, this evening, +produce such a scene? The gardens no doubt will be glorious, but the +groundwork is also God's; but why say I that in particular? All is +his; the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his +creation; all the art of man cannot add to their number. Sweet bird, +thy notes are innocent, O how sweet. Lovely trees--ye who stand erect, +and ye who weep and wave; I wish no brighter scene. The shadows +lengthen fast, so do yours and mine, my sovereign;* a few, a very +few anniversaries, and we must change the scene--change to where no +courtiers flatter, no false meteors blaze--where shadows flee away, +realities appear, and nothing but realities will stand in any stead. + +*Mrs. Graham received a pension as a British officer's widow until + her death. + + "O may we meet; for me, I nothing have, I nothing am. But One +there is, who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can +conceive of glory and of happiness; and he is mine, and I am most +blessed. Lengthen on, ye shadows, until all is shadow on these orbs of +flesh. Then, O then, + + "'My captive soul set free + From cloggish earth which oft has made me sigh, + Ascends the eternal hills, as seen to see, + As known to know, and grasp the Deity.'" + + + "1802. + + "Our friend B---- has now proved how far it is safe to leave the +fate of eternity unsettled. He is gone to the state of the dead: with +whom his soul is gathered, He only knows whose mercy none ought to +limit; he is gone to his own place; if without a Surety-righteousness, +which he sought not after in health, we know where that place is; but +after reading of a thief on the cross, nothing with God is impossible. +My mind is much impressed; that sentence rings in my ears, so often +repeated, 'I am determined to do all the good I can, and leave the +rest to God. I have no time to search.' Oh, oh, one thing is needful. + + "'Life's a folly, age a dream + Borne along the common stream, + Earth's a bubble light as air, + If my rest be centered there. + How can that be solid joy + Which a moment may destroy?' + + "Mr. B---- was seized with the fever in its most malignant form; +for him every genius was exerted, and the medical store ransacked for +the healing balsam, but in vain. The Judge calls for the soul, and the +body must, at his command, dislodge its tenant; how awful, if no +surety was at hand, if he must stand naked--we know the rest: did I +say we know? O no. What can we know of that wrath which in the garden +of Gethsemane, when no murderous hand was near, no high-priest, no +council, or cross, wrung the blood through every pore of the pure, the +innocent Lamb of God, supported by Godhead. If such things were done +in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry?" + + + Another of her grandchildren was shortly after removed by death; +his illness is noticed in the following meditation: + + + "AUGUST, 1802. + + "'And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at all, that +ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries, +to serve wood and stone.' 'And I will bring you into the wilderness, +and there will I plead with you face to face: like as I pleaded with +your fathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so will I plead +with you, saith the Lord God; and I will cause you to pass under the +rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant.' 'And ye +shall remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein ye have been +defiled; and ye shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for all +your evils that ye have committed: and ye shall know that I am the +Lord, when I have wrought with you for my name's sake, not according +to your wicked ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house +of Israel, saith the Lord God.' Ezek. 20:32, 35, 36, 43, 44. + + "It is good, yes, Lord, it is all good; too often have we said, +'we will be as the heathen, to serve wood and stone.' Often hast thou +chastened, often have we confessed, often resolved that we would walk +more softly, more tenderly, more circumspectly before thee. But, alas, +when thy hand is removed, when thou healest us, and restorest to us +health, comfort, and our pleasant things, we wax fat and kick, nestle +in our comfort, abuse thy gifts, and lose sight of the giver. Alas, +Lord, thus it must ever be with us, when we keep not near to thee; we +cannot walk one step alone without stumbling. Thou knowest these +naturally wicked hearts, that they are deceitful above all things; +they betray us before we are aware. Blessed, ever blessed be our God +for his well-ordered covenant. Blessed for the discipline of it. O +Lord, we are again in the wilderness, and under thy chastising rod: +for weeks past, we have 'eaten no pleasant bread;' thy rod is still +suspended over our pleasant, our dear child; the streams of life ebb, +he sickens, he dies, if thou interfere not. But the issues of death +are in thy hand, and our eyes are towards thee. In vain are all means, +all medicines, if thou impart not the healing virtue. Thy weeping +servants seek the healing virtue from thy waters, thy seas, thy pure +air. All nature is in thy hand and ministers thy pleasure; to some +conveying health, to some disease. An herb to be boiled in simple +milk, as the figs for Hezekiah's boils, has been proposed, O let this +prove the appointed means, or direct and point out that which thou +wilt bless, and let our hearts and tongues give the glory to thee. + + "We deserve this bereavement; but, Lord, what do we not deserve? +Even according to the constitution of the covenant of grace, and +consistent with thy pardoning, saving mercy, and all thy +long-suffering, wert thou to take vengeance on our inventions, by +exercising all thy threatened chastisements, should we ever be out of +the furnace? But even in this view, thou never hast dealt with us as +our iniquities deserved. 'He will not always chide, neither will he +keep his anger for ever.' Thou hast, in thousands of instances, 'cast +our sins behind thy back, into the midst of the sea; blotted them out, +to remember them no more for ever. Thy ways are not as our ways, nor +thy thoughts as our thoughts,' We may plead, 'Deal not with us as we +sin; but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out our +transgressions. Pardon our iniquity, for it is great.' Affliction is +appointed, but it is 'in measure, when it shooteth forth.' O debate +with it, and according to thy promise, 'stay thy rough wind in the day +of thine east wind.' Lord, say it is enough, give the blessing, and by +this measure shall iniquity be purged, and the fruit be to take away +sin. All means are alike in thy hand, and any measure. In holy +sovereignty and consummate wisdom thou afflictest, and in thy hand +afflictions yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness: the hearts of +thy people are melted, and they sing of mercy and of judgment, and +glorify thy name. But, O Lord, a look, such as thou gavest to Peter, +will melt our hearts and restore our backsliding souls. The announcing +of our pardon by the same power, will make them overflow with love. If +thou but call us by name, as thou didst her who sought thee at thy +sepulchre, with the same power we shall recognize our Saviour and +worship him. + + "O Lord our God, ever faithful to thy promises, thou hast said, +'Whatsoever ye ask in my name, believing that ye receive, I will do +it.' O Lord, I ask not the life of this child on this ground. I have +through life asked one thing of thee, and that will I seek to obtain +while life and breath remain, and reason and grace; I will seek it, +seek it with importunity, holding fast by thy promise to do it, and +believing that it shall be according to my petition. Make good to me +this thy promise, in a spiritual and eternal sense. Be my God, and the +God of my children, and of my children's children, to the latest +generation. Let my children according to the flesh, be thine by +regeneration of the Holy Ghost: it is a great boon; but hast thou not +said, 'Open thy mouth wide, I will fill it?' Father, do as thou hast +said: this is my one petition, and I cannot be said nay. I ask for +myself, my children, and my children's children, to the latest +generation, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to +bestow, that we may be made one with him, and our life hid with him in +God. Amen, and Amen. + + "But, O my Father, thou hast said, 'Be careful for nothing; but +in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let +your requests be made known unto God.' I ask, with submission to thy +holy will, if consistent with thy glory, his good, and the good of the +parents, the life of this child; that thou mayest spare him for our +comfort, but first for thine own glory; that thou mayest give the +different branches of this family a joyful meeting, a full feast of +grateful thanks to thee for all thy mercies; and our hearts may +rejoice before thee for the abundance of comfort. Shouldst thou, in +thy adorable wisdom, otherwise determine, thy blessed and thy holy +will be done. Wash the soul of this child in the blood of Jesus, +clothe him with thy righteousness, sanctify him by thy Spirit, and fit +him in every respect for thy kingdom. And O, my divine Redeemer, I +renew my petition which thou didst so evidently grant in the case of +our dear Isabella: take him in thine arms of mercy; soften and shorten +the parting pangs, and carry him gently through the dark valley, and +give him an abundant entrance into thy heavenly kingdom, to join the +hosannas of thy little children, of whom thy kingdom is partly made +up: and O, sanctify the affliction to all concerned; direct our +discipline according as thine all-seeing, heart-searching eye sees we +need; that it may bring forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness, +and 'the fruit of affliction be to take away sin,' and the glory of +all redound to thee, Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. Amen, and Amen." + + + "SEPTEMBER, 1802. + + "'What manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy +conversation?' + + "'O give thanks unto God, for he is good; his mercy endureth +for ever.' + + "'How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God; how great is +the sum of them.' + + "'If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand. +When I awake I am still with thee.' + + "'The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger, and +of great mercy.' + + "'The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all +his works.' + + "'All thy works shall praise thee, O Lord, and thy saints shall +bless thee.' + + "'He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us +according to our iniquities.' + + "'Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and +passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage. He +retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.' + + "'He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us, he will +subdue our iniquities, and thou wilt cast all our sins into the depths +of the sea.' + + "'Let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy, +and with him is plenteous redemption.' + + "'And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.' + + "'The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.' +The Lord hath turned our captivity, filled our mouth with laughter and +our tongue with singing. + + "Thomas," her grandchild, "is restored to perfect health. Thou +hast heard our petitions, and continuest to us all our pleasant things. + + "It is a time of prosperity; thou givest us the 'upper and the +nether springs;' thou blessest my children 'in their basket and in +their store;' and while the riches of many are making to themselves +wings and flying away--while many are sinking from affluence to +poverty, falling on the right hand and on the left, by thy most +manifest providence thou hast preserved them from the wreck. O teach +them to acknowledge thy hand in all this, and to say and feel, 'Not +unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to thy name be the glory.' It is God +that giveth power to get riches. O, enable them to honor thee with +their substance, and with the first-fruits of all their increase. + + "In the day of prosperity let them rejoice, but let this joy be +in the Lord. O let thy gifts ever, ever lead them to the giver, and +fill their hearts with gratitude, their mouths with praise; and let +their very actions be worship, while they acknowledge thee in all +their ways, and thou directest their steps. May they be as 'a city set +on a hill, which cannot be hid,' and their light so shine before men, +that they seeing their good works, may glorify their Father in heaven. + + "And now, O Lord, we wait for thy blessing in the restoration of +our dear D---- and I. B---- and J----. 'Thou hast shown them great and +sore adversities,' and thou hast manifested thy power to save. When +they passed through the waters thou wast with them, and through the +rivers they did not overflow them. When they walked through the fire +they were not burnt, neither did the flames kindle upon them. For thou +art the Lord their God, the Holy One of Israel, their Saviour. + + "Thou didst stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind, +and in the multitude of their thoughts within them did thy comforts +delight their soul. Thou humbledst them under thy mighty hand, and +thou hast in the multitude of thy mercy exalted them in due time. + + "In all their sojourning thou hast been with them; and in +fellowship with thy church greatly hast thou comforted them. Thou hast +given them favor in the hearts of thy people, and made 'the stones of +the field to be at peace with them.' And now, O Lord, restore them to +their friends and Christian society, and to their place which thou +hast in thy goodness given and preserved to them. Here may they be thy +witnesses, that 'thou art the Lord, and besides thee there is +no Saviour.'" + + + "SEPTEMBER, 1802. + + "This day has the Lord our God answered our prayers, and enriched +us beyond the ordinary lot of humanity. D---- and I. B---- and J---- +are restored to their preserved places, and to the bosom of their +family. We are as men who dream; our mouths are filled with laughter, +our tongues with singing; the Lord hath done great things for us, +whereof we are glad. Thou hast turned our captivity as the streams in +the south. We sowed in tears, we have reaped in joy. Bless the Lord, O +our souls; ever true and faithful is his word: 'He that goeth forth +and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with +rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.' + + "'O Lord, from thee is our fruit found;' may our sheaves be many +and weighty, thou working all our works in us, to thine own glory and +our blessedness. Amen." + + + "1802. + + "Dear brother Pero,* happy brother Pero, thy Jesus, in whom thou +trustedst, has loosed thy bonds, has brought thee to that rest which +remains for the people of God; thou drinkest of the pure river that +maketh glad the city of our God; of that blessed fountain from which +issue all the streams which refresh and revive us weary pilgrims. But +a little while ago, and thou wast weary, dark, and solitary; thy flesh +fettering and clogging thy spirit; thy God trying thy faith, hope, and +patience, which he had previously implanted, watered, and made +vigorous, to stand that trial more precious than gold that perisheth, +though it be tried by fire, and was made manifest to the glory of that +Saviour who leaves not his people in any case. If need be, they are in +heaviness, through manifold temptations; but he knows how to deliver +them, having himself been tempted. + +*Pero was an elderly man of color whom Mr. Andrew Smith had + purchased, and made free. + Pero had previously been a freed man of Christ. He had been for some + time in ill health; Mrs. Graham kindly attended on him, and read the + Scriptures to him: he died by the bursting of a bloodvessel, at an + hour when none of the family were with him. Mrs. Graham, in humility + of spirit, reproaches herself in this exercise, for having been + absent from him, without inquiring into his situation for one hour. + + "Thou hadst a taste of his cup: like him thou didst endure the +contradiction of sinners; like him thou didst experience the desertion +of friends, even thine old mistress, whom thou lately didst esteem as +a sister in Christ, and to whom thou didst look for fresh +communication from and through that written word, which she could +read and thou couldst not. Oh, how did she prove as a broken reed +unto thee; how did she neglect thy necessity, and her own opportunity +of bringing forth fruit in its season. Thou hast been no loser. The +Lord passed by the slothful servant, the unfaithful steward, who +neglected to give thee thy meat in due season, and himself took her +place; took thee from that household which was not worthy of thee, +and led thee to those mansions of bliss which himself purchased and +prepared; set thee at that table which shall never be drawn, where +thou shalt feast on all the fulness of God, and drink of those +pleasures which are at his right hand for evermore. No need of old +mistress now; no need of any earthly vessel now, nor of that written +word which thou didst so highly prize. The Word made flesh has +removed the veil that shaded the glory of the God-man from thine +eyes; flesh and blood could not behold it; of this he has unclothed +thee--left it with us to look upon and mourn our sin. Thee he has +introduced into the full vision of eternal day, where thou knowest as +thou art known, and seest as thou art seen. O that full communion +enjoyed between a holy soul and the perfection of holiness! O that +light of life, that ocean of love, that inconceivable blessedness. +How hast thou outrun us, brother Pero; how distanced us in a moment. +Oh, could I not watch with thee one hour? Oh that I had received thy +last blessing, instead of which, conscious offence, deserved rebuke, +painful compunction wring my heart; and perhaps the rod of correction +may be suspended, and now ready to fall on my guilty head. + + "Father, O my Father, am I not still thy child--still thy +adopted? Have not I an Advocate with thee, Jesus Christ the righteous, +whom thou hearest always? does not the blood of Christ cleanse from +all sin? yes, O yes. This is my universal remedy; thousands and ten +thousands of times have I experienced its efficacy. Father, I again +apply; blessed Spirit, do thine office. Wash me, and I shall be clean; +purge me, and I shall be whiter than snow. I confess my sin, I +acknowledge mine iniquity. Thou didst bring to me an old disciple, +near and dear to his and my Saviour; thou didst require me to minister +unto him all that he needed; the honor was great, the opportunity +valuable. Thou didst empty thy servant for a time, thou didst hide his +comfort, that I might, through thy written word, draw living waters +for him, and give him to drink. O the honor; O the negligence. Thou +didst send the call for thy disciple to come up to thee; in thy +providence thou didst make it first known to me, that I might be +instrumental in conveying to him, through the same channel, oil and +trimming for his lamp. Great was the honor; dignified the service; but +lost to me for ever. I passed by on the other side. Blessed, blessed +Jesus; thou good Samaritan, who pouredst the oil and wine into his +wounds, and tookest him, not to an inn, but to those mansions in the +skies which thou, with thine own blood, purchasedst for him; sanctify, +O sanctify to me this thy providence; pardon my neglect. Saviour, wash +me in thy blood, and sanctify and bring good out of even my +transgression. By thy grace, let it be a means of stirring me up to +more watchfulness, that I may meet the opportunities afforded me in +thy providence, to occupy till thou come." + + + "DECEMBER, 1802. + + "The lovely plant which the Lord had blasted, which brought down +our hearts with grief, which he had restored and clothed with smiling +health and comfort, again sickened, declined, wasted; every means +proved ineffectual; the Lord refused the healing virtue. He was +brought to town to be near the physicians, but the Physician of Israel +aided them not. Disease increased; with pain, sickness, convulsion, +much he suffered, and long; he had a taste of the bitterness of sin, +but no part of the curse: _that_ the Redeemer drank and expended; +and having by his atoning blood purged this little one from his sins, +and perfected all his redeeming work in his soul, he received him into +his own heavenly abodes. It is well, all well. Amen." + + + Mrs. Graham lived alternately with her children Mrs. Bethune and +Mrs. Smith until 1803, when Mrs. Smith removed from New York. After +that time she made her home with Mr. and Mrs. Bethune until her +departure to her heavenly home. They loved her not only from natural +affection, but for her superior worth. They believed that her prayers +brought a blessing on the family, as the ark of God did to the house +of Obed-Edom. + + + "MARCH, 1803. + + "I read this day the 36th chapter of Ezekiel, and pleaded God's +promises from the 22d verse to the end, for myself, for my children, +and for my children's children; for the church of God throughout the +world, in particular for this country, for Britain and Ireland, France +and Germany, where his name was once known, and his gospel flourished. +That the Lord would 'build the waste places and repair the breaches;' +that he would 'purify the sons of Levi,' fill all pulpits with able, +faithful ministers of the new testament, who shall 'declare the whole +counsel of God;' and that wherever his name is recorded, the Holy +Ghost might fill the place, and convince the hearts of preachers and +hearers, of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment; might take of the +things of Christ and show unto them; and that the great Head of the +church might regulate and overrule all these breaches, differences, +and shakings in his churches. + + "O Lord, I am ignorant; I know not the mind of the Spirit of +promise as thou knowest it. The promise of the fruit of the tree, and +the increase of the earth, of the corn, the wine, and the oil is +thine, as are all others. I am ignorant how far this refers to +spiritual prosperity, how far to temporal. I ask, O Lord, covenant +provision, the fruit of the seed sown in the hearts of men by thine +own Spirit; and that thou mayest build the ruined cities of thy +churches, and fill them 'with men like a flock, as the flock of +Jerusalem in her solemn feasts; so shall the waste cities be filled +with flocks of men, and they shall know that thou art the Lord.' Thy +fair, thy rich, thy beautiful creation is also the fruit of grace. The +wicked possess it, but they enjoy it not. Thy people are the heirs, +but thou, as a wise and merciful Father, givest them to possess +according as thy wisdom sees safe and good for them. When with the +things of this world they imbibe the spirit of the men of the world; +when they nestle in thy gifts and forget the Giver; when they enjoy +with a carnal spirit, and not with thankfulness and a due sense of +their dependence on thee as the God of providence as well as of grace; +thou, in mercy as in sovereignty, blastest their pleasant things, +mixest their cup of prosperity with wormwood and gall, or sweepest all +away with a turn of thy hand, that thou mayest teach them that man +doth not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of +the mouth of God; that thou mayest withdraw them from sinful purposes, +and hide pride from them; that thou mayest open their ears to +instruction, and seal it on their hearts: thou dashest to pieces their +broken cisterns, that thou mayest lead them back to the fountain of +living waters. + + "It is good, O Lord, all good; I lay hold upon it: be thou the +provider of me and mine; feed us with food convenient for us. Thine +own word testifies that 'every creature of God is good, and nothing is +to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving, for it is +sanctified by the word of God and prayer.' I and the children for whom +I pray, possess many, yea, and abundance of temporal good things. O +Lord, give suitable grace, grace for grace. Spirit of grace, keep us +thankful, humble, dependent, spiritual; enable us to receive all +through a covenant channel, as the provision of our Father by the way, +through this wilderness. O may all be sanctified by thy word and +prayer, and we be enabled 'to eat and drink to thy glory.' Amen. + + "Read the 138th Psalm: 'Though the Lord be high, yet hath he +respect unto the lowly; though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou +wilt revive me. The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me; thy +mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever; forsake not the works of thine +own hands.' + + "Redeeming work is thy work; regenerating work is thy work; +sanctifying work is also thine. + + "The first is finished, the second begun, to be perfected in the +third. O Lord, I hang on thy promises, which with Christ are all mine, +though I have not at all times the savor of them; this is mine +infirmity, and often my sin. O keep me looking unto Jesus." + + + "MARCH 25, 1803. + + "Communion Sabbath, Dr. M---- preached from Romans 6:17: 'But God +be thanked that ye were'--were in the past time, not now--'the +servants of sin; but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of +doctrine which was delivered you.' + + "O Lord, I believe the doctrines of thy gospel; I know that I am +delivered from sin as a master; it hath not dominion over my will, nor +entire dominion over my affections; I would be thine, thy servant, thy +child, thine in all obedience. I feel this new principle in the +desires of my soul. I would do all things to thee, in act and in +principle. But O, Lord, the old man is still here, harassing and +hindering my new will, which I have received from thee, from acting +with freedom and energy. Unhallowed motives steal in, by-ends present +themselves; and when outward duty is attained to, there is more of sin +than of righteousness. Though entered upon with some measure of +purity, yet before it is finished I am at a loss to discern the true +principle by which I am actuated. Lord, help me; hast thou not +promised to work in me both 'to will and to do of thy good pleasure?' +Is it not the grand end of thy death, that thou mightest purify to +thyself a glorious church, 'not having spot nor wrinkle, nor any such +thing;' and shall not I be a partaker? Art thou not made of God unto +thy people, wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption? + + "O Lord, my heart pants for redemption from indwelling sin. This +depravity of my nature, this opposition, this evil that is ever +present with me when I would do good, this indolence, this +listlessness, this want of zeal, or else self-will, keenness of +temper, impatience, haste: O Lord, there is a host of enemies; gird +me, arm me, shield me, lead me forth under thy banner; be my +victorious King. 'I will go in thy name, trusting in thy promised +strength and grace to help in every time of need.' Glory be to God, +Father, Son, and blessed Spirit, for the grace in which I stand. But +for grace I had been a willing slave to sin to this hour. By that same +grace I shall one day attain to victory. I cast my burden on the Lord, +he will sustain until he deliver; I will go up through the wilderness, +trusting in the promises, and continue fighting in his strength. 'My +soul waits for thy salvation.' Lord, enable me to keep 'looking unto +Jesus, the author and finisher of faith.' O give faith in every part +of his mediatorial character. May I feed upon him and be strong for +this sore fight. Give courage, O Lord; press me forward: may I +resolve, and keep the resolution, to resist unto blood, striving +against sin. + + "I have been a slothful servant in thy family, an idle laborer in +thy vineyard, 'an unfruitful branch,' a poor dwarfish member in thy +body. Grant, O grant a little fruit on the topmost bough. O, at the +'eleventh hour' may I begin to work, to bear some fruit, to the glory +of that grace by which my soul is saved from the wages of sin, death, +and hell, and made heir, by free gift, of the wages of righteousness, +eternal life, and glory. I wait for thy salvation." + + + There being no public, free, or Sabbath-schools in the city, Mrs. +Graham used her endeavors to promote such as would at least furnish +education to the children of the widows under her care; and several +young ladies offered their services, which she thus notices: + + + "FEBRUARY, 1804. + + "A new thing is on the wheel in the city of New York. A society +of ladies, organized for the purpose of relieving widows with small +children, was new in this country. It is now, by the blessing of God, +apparently established. It was entered upon with prayer; it has been +conducted thus far with prayer. The blessing of God has rested upon +it, and much good has been done by it. Some of us have looked long, +and requested of God to open a way by which the children of these +widows might be instructed and taught to read his word, and by his +blessing on it, come to the knowledge of the way of salvation. One +means has been attempted of an ordinary kind: twelve children were +last week placed at school with Mrs. L----, to be taught to read, and +some more are to be placed with another of our widows, for the same +purpose. But this indeed is new. A society of young ladies, the first +in rank in the city, in the very bloom of life, and full of its +prospects, engaged in those pleasures and amusements which tend to +engross the mind and shut out every idea unconnected with them, coming +forward and offering--not to contribute towards a school, but their +own personal attendance to instruct the ignorant, O Lord, prosper +their work. If this be of thee, it shall prosper, and be productive of +much good; but if thou bless not, it will come to nothing but shame. +No good can be done but by thee, for there is none good but One;' and +what are all thy creatures, but instruments in thy hand, by which thou +bringest to pass the purposes of thy will? _Christians_, +redeemed, enlightened, sanctified, are no more; thou workest all their +works in them; they themselves are thy workmanship, created in Christ +Jesus unto good works, which thou hast prepared, that they should walk +in them. Worldlings also are thy instruments: by them thou workest and +bringest to pass the counsels of thy will; thou puttest into their +heart the good thing which thou workest, and girdest them for the +purpose: though not the children of thy covenant, they are the +instruments of thy providence. + + "O Lord, take up this matter; gird these young women to this very +purpose, and prosper them in the art of teaching these orphans of thy +providence. And Oh, Lord, hear my more important petition. I am not +worthy to be heard. O Lord, I am not worthy to be named in connection +with any good done by thee. I am the chief of sinners, the chief of +backsliders; every thing in me, of me, or by me, is vile as far as it +is mine. All that is otherwise, all good implanted in me, or done by +me, is thine own; it is grace, free grace, the purchase of thine own +Anointed, my dear Redeemer, my dying, risen, ascended Saviour, and the +fruit of the Holy Ghost, the sent of the Father and of the Son, to set +up a kingdom of righteousness in the hearts of the redeemed. Let me, +as a sinner saved by grace, to whom thou hast been pleased to give the +exceeding great and precious promises--let me, under the sprinkling of +the blood of the covenant, and in entire dependence on my +surety-righteousness--let me draw near and present my petition, in the +name and for the sake of Him whom thou hearest always. O Lord God +Almighty, by this very thing, build up thy Zion. Lay hold of these +young creatures, and while they are in the way of thy providence, +bring them to the house of our master's brethren. O thou great +Teacher, teach thou teacher and taught. Be found of them who seek thee +not, and say with power, 'Behold me, behold me,' to a people not yet +called by thy name, and out of this small thing in thy providence, +bring revenues of praise to thy name as the God of grace. Amen. + + "And now, O Lord, for myself, I pray for deep humility; I ask, +for His sake who was meek and lowly, to be kept where my place really +is, at the feet of all thy servants; and if it be thy pleasure to make +me a useful instrument, in proportion make me a humble soul. Let me +ever remember my ways and be ashamed, and never open my mouth any more +because of my shame, when thou art pacified towards me for all that I +have done. O keep me in this contrite frame of mind. In all that to +which thou callest me, give me a willing heart, and furnish me with +every necessary for thy glory. And now prepare me to speak to these +young women good and acceptable words. Save me from sacrificing truth, +or departing, in any respect, from Christian duty; give me such wisdom +as maybe suited to the occasion: in all things mine eyes are to the +Lord; from thee let my fruit be found." + + + "FEBRUARY 17, 1804. + + "Saturday, the 11th, twenty-nine young ladies met with Mrs. +Hoffman and myself, at Mr. O. Hoffman's, Wall-street, on purpose to +receive instructions respecting the school; and having paired +themselves according to their mind, I delivered what I had prepared +for them: they all seemed hearty in their engagement; and on Monday, +the 13th inst., Miss L----t and Miss L----n attended at the +school-room and commenced teaching thirteen children; four have been +added since. + + "Again, O Lord, let me request thy blessing on this institution; +put thy seal upon it, and mark it for thine own. Gird the teachers for +their work, and open the minds of the scholars to instruction. And O, +Lord, in thine own time, and by means of thine own devising, provide +spiritual instruction for teachers and taught. Is it thy pleasure, +Lord, that I attend the children on a day appointed for the purpose? +Wilt thou accept of me as an instrument by which thou wilt do good to +the souls of these children; and wilt thou keep me humble and contrite +in my own soul? Bless also Mrs. L----'s school; there too let thy work +appear; deal with her soul as 'thou dealest with thy chosen;' teach +her the way of salvation, and make her a teacher by thine own Spirit. +If it be my dear Master's pleasure to use me, I would also attend that +school as his instrument. 'Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try +me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, +and lead me in the way everlasting.'" + + + Mrs. Graham's address to the young ladies, above alluded to, is +given as a specimen of the appropriateness of her addresses on similar +occasions, and as an incentive to kindred exertions in every condition +of life. + + + "MY DEAR YOUNG LADIES--Every thing new becomes matter of +speculation and variety of opinion. + + "An association of ladies for the relief of destitute widows and +orphans, was a new thing in this country. It was feeble in its origin, +the jest of most, the ridicule of many, and it met the opposition of +not a few. The men could not allow our sex the steadiness and +perseverance necessary to establish such an undertaking. But God put +_his_ seal upon it; and under his fostering care it has prospered +beyond the most sanguine expectations of its propagators. Its fame is +spread over the United States, and celebrated in foreign countries. It +has been a precedent to many cities, who have followed the laudable +example. This fame is not more brilliant than just. The hungry are +fed, the naked are clothed, shelter is provided for the outcasts, +medicine and cordials for the sick, and the soothing voice of sympathy +cheers the disconsolate. Who are the authors of all these blessings? +Your mothers, ladies, the benevolent members of this so justly famed +Society. But who are these children that idly ramble through the +streets, a prey to growing depravity and vicious example? hark, they +_quarrel_, they _swear_, and such no doubt will _lie_ and _steal_. And +that group of dear little creatures, running about in the most +imminent danger, apparently without protection, are they under the +care of this so justly famed society? They are; they are fed, they are +clothed, their mother's fireside is made warm for them; but no culture +is provided for their minds, nor protection from baneful example. +These will in time follow that of the older ones, and grow up the +slaves of idleness and vice, the certain road to ruin. + + "Alas, alas, and is there no help--no preventive? Yes, there is. +Behold the angelic band; hail, ye virtuous daughters; worthy of your +virtuous mothers, come forward and tread in their steps. Snatch these +little ones from the whirling vortex; bring them to a place of safety; +teach them to know their Father, God: tell them of their Saviour's +love; lead them through the history of his life; mark to them the +example he set, the precepts he recorded for their observance, and the +promises for their comfort. And by teaching them to read, enable them +to retrace all your instructions when their eyes see you no more. + + "My dear young ladies, the sacrifice you have made shall most +assuredly meet its reward: but like your mothers, you will experience +much painful banter, you will be styled school-madams. Let it pass; +suffer it quietly; when your scheme begins to ripen and the fruits +appear, who shall be able to withhold their praise? Only be steadfast, +draw not back and justify the prophecies of many. + + "A great general, in ancient times, in search of glory, landed +his troops on the hostile coast, and then burnt all his ships: they +must conquer, or die. You have, ladies, already embarked in this +design; there is no remaining neuter now; your name and undertaking +are in every mouth; you must press forward and justify your cause: and +justified it shall be, if you persevere; it cannot be otherwise. The +benevolence you contemplate is as superior to that already in +operation, as the interest of the soul is to that of the body; and it +is your own--the very scheme originated in a young mind in this +company. The society were contemplating mercenary agents, schools for +pay, and one is already established. + + "But this labor of love; who could have hoped for it? A society +of _young ladies,_ in rank the first in the city, in the very bloom +of life, and full of its prospects, engaged in those pleasures and +amusements which generally engross the mind, and shut out every idea +unconnected with self, coming forward and offering--what? not their +purses, that were _trash;_ but their own personal services to +instruct the ignorant, and become the saviors of many of their sex. +It is indeed a new thing, and more strange in this age of dissipation +than that institution from which it sprung. May this too become the +darling of Providence. May God put his seal upon this also. May he +bless and prosper you in this undertaking, bless you, and make you +a blessing." + + + We next have her wrestling supplications for the revival of God's +work in the church with which she was connected. + + + "FEBRUARY 21, 1804. + + "O Thou, who art Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, who +holdest the seven stars in thy right hand, and walkest in the midst of +the seven golden candle-sticks, who livest and was dead, and art alive +for evermore. Amen. And hast the keys of hell and of death. Out of thy +mouth goeth a sharp twoedged sword, by which thou reachest the hearts +of the most hardened. O write with power, speak with power, in the +heart of the angel of this church. Hast thou not in former days had +thy dwelling among them? in days of trouble didst thou not work in +them the fruits of labor and patience, so that for thy name's sake +they labored and fainted not? Thou blessedst them and gave them peace, +and they rejoiced in the light of thy countenance; thou multipliedst +them also, so that from a handful they became _two bands_. Alas, +Lord, we have, Jeshurun-like, 'waxed fat and kicked;' we have left our +first love; we have not watched and prayed, as thou gavest +commandment, and thou hast left us to enter into temptation; we have +forsaken the counsel of our old men, and given heed to flatterers; we +have forgotten our dependence on thee, and said, 'Ashur shall save us, +we will ride upon horses.' We have set up our idols in our hearts, and +put the stumbling-block of our iniquity before our eyes; we have taken +counsel, but not of thee, and covered ourselves with a covering, but +not of thy Spirit; we have gloried in our own wisdom, and strengthened +ourselves in our own strength. + + "We are poor, and blind, and miserable, and naked; rich in our +fancied wisdom, seeing by our own light, and compassing ourselves +about with our own sparks; we feed on ashes: a deceived heart has +turned us aside. + + "'O Lord, the hope of Israel, and the Saviour thereof.' It is of +the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed. To us belong shame and +confusion of face--O cover us with it--but to thee belongs mercy. +Humble us, O Lord, and we shall be humbled; 'turn us, and we shall +be turned.' + + "It is in our nature to backslide for ever; thou, and thou only, +knowest the deceitfulness of the heart; thou, and thou only, canst +search it. O search us, and try us, and show us what wicked ways there +are in us, and lead us in the way everlasting. Deal not with us +according to our sins, but according to the multitude of thine own +mercies. We have no other plea; our sins call for judgment, and until +thou, thine own blessed self, turn us, we are in no situation to +receive mercy. Work with us for thy name's sake, establish with us +thine own covenant of free, unmerited, undeserved mercy. Then shall we +know that thou art the Lord. + + "Make us thine by thine own covenant, established in Christ, +thine own anointed; the blessed surety, by thine own appointment; our +substitute, on whom it hath pleased thee to lay the iniquities of us +all; in whose sacred person thou tookest vengeance for all our sins; +by whom thy law is fulfilled, magnified, and made honorable; whose +doing and suffering in our stead is accepted by Jehovah. 'The Lord is +well pleased for his righteousness' sake.' No covenant short of one +fulfilled in every jot and tittle could benefit us. + + "Thy covenant is well-ordered in all things, and it is sure. + + "Here, O Lord, I take my stand; here I lay my foundation, and on +this thy covenant I build; or rather, here thou thyself hast laid my +foundation, and on this rock hast thou set my soul and built my hopes, +thou subduing my enmity. I acquiesce. I will now 'remember the years +of thy hand,' look back to thy dealings with thine own nation, whom +thou didst choose and set apart from all other nations, though of the +same blood with all those that dwell on the face of the whole earth. + + "They, like us, destroyed themselves, but in thee was their help. +They also sinned, committed iniquity, and did wickedly; they +remembered not thy mercy, but provoked thee at the Red sea, after the +great deliverance thou hadst wrought for them, and the wonders thou +madest to pass before them in the land of Egypt. Nevertheless thou +savedst them for thy name's sake, that thou mightest make thy mighty +power known; thou didst repeat thy wonders, and didst dry up the sea +before them. He fed them with corn from heaven; they did eat angel's +food. He clave the rock in the wilderness, and caused waters to run +down like a river. After all, they forsook the God of their mercies; +they believed not his promises, nor trusted in his salvation; they +lusted, and they murmured, and desired to turn back to Egypt. Thou +didst chasten them sore for their sin, and didst bring down their +heart with grief. + + "When thou didst slay them, they sought thee, and remembered +that God was their rock, and the most high God their Redeemer. +Nevertheless they did flatter with their mouth and lied unto thee with +their tongue, for their heart was not right with thee, neither were +they steadfast in thy covenant. But thou being full of compassion, +forgavest their iniquity and destroyedst them not; yea, many a time +turnedst thou away thine anger, and didst not stir up all thy wrath. + + "O how many times did they turn back, tempted God, and limited +the Holy One of Israel. Yet did he fulfil all his promises, and by +wonders in the sea, wonders in the desert, wonders in Zoan's field, +and in the camps of their enemies, he led them safely to the border of +his sanctuary, to the mountain which his right hand had purchased. He +cast out the heathen before them, and gave them rest in the land of +promise. Even there they provoked the Most High, provoked him to +jealousy with their graven images. + + "Again thou didst chasten them sore, let loose the corruptions of +men upon them, and suffer them to fall before their enemies. Thou +deliveredst thy strength into captivity, and thy glory into the hands +of their enemies. + + "Yet, O Lord, again didst thou deliver them, and sentest +provision for them by thine own covenant. Thou didst choose David thy +servant, and take him from the sheep-folds. Thou broughtest him to +feed Jacob thy people, and Israel thine inheritance. So he fed them +according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the +skilfulness of his hands. + + "Such are the people with whom thou hast still to do. Such, O God +of infinite mercy, such the God with whom we sinners have to do, even +'the Lord God, merciful and gracious, keeping mercy for thou sands, +forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; and that will by no means +clear the guilty.' O what could man or angel have done with this last +character of thy name? Thy covenant makes provision. In Christ Jesus, +our blessed substitute, all is reconciled. Thy name is one; the just +God, and the justifier of the ungodly who believe in Jesus; This God +is our God; we will make mention of his righteousness, and his only. +By his own covenant, in his own time, and by means of his own +providing, he will revive us. Amen." + + + "APRIL, 1804 + + "All my desire is before thee, and it is all contained in thy +well-ordered covenant. Many years of vanity, of idolatry, of +backsliding, wandering, and folly have passed over my head since I +first took hold of thy covenant. How fickle, false, and deceitful have +I proved; yet thou knowest, thine own Spirit through all my wanderings +testified in my heart, that out of the channel of this covenant there +could be neither safety nor comfort; and never, so far as I can +remember, have I deliberately chosen to be dealt with by any other. +Its corrections and chastisements have reached the deepest +sensibilities of my heart. Thine arrows stuck fast in me, thy hand +pressed me sore; there was no soundness in my flesh, neither rest in +my bones, because of my sin; mine iniquities went over my head, were a +burden too heavy to bear. I was feeble and sore broken, and roared by +reason of the disquiet of my heart. My lovers and friends stood aloof +from my sore, and my kinsmen stood afar off. I was ready to halt, and +my sorrow was continually before me; yet even in my darkest, deepest +afflictions, when deep called to deep, and thy waves and billows were +passing over me; when my soul seemed sinking in the mire where there +was no standing, I groped in the dark; my heart panted, my strength +failed, and the light of mine eyes seemed gone out. I was weak with my +groaning; in the night I made my bed to swim with my tears; yet even +then, by that same covenant by which I was suffering, light sprang out +of darkness, glimmering hope in the midst of despair. I remembered the +years of thy right hand; in the multitude of my thoughts within +me--the provision made in this covenant--thy comforts delighted +my soul. + + "I was furnished with a plea which would condemn, by every +covenant but thine: Pardon my iniquities, for they are great. Thou, +even thou, art he who blottest out transgressions as a cloud, and +iniquity as a thick cloud. Verily thou art a God that pardoneth, +though thou takest vengeance on the inventions of thy rebellious +children. 'Vengeance!' not the vengeance of the curse; no, that, O +thou blessed Covenant, thou blessed Surety, that fell on thy devoted +head. Thou by this covenant wast 'made a curse for us.' Thou didst +tread the wine-press alone, and of the people there was none to help +thee. Thou didst expend the last drop of that cup of vengeance. Every +cup put into our hand, though a cup of trembling, is a cup of +blessing. I this day take a fresh hold of thy covenant, for myself, +for my children, and for my children's children, to the latest +generation. For my brother and sister, for their children, and +children's children; for the near concerns of our dear D. B----; and +for all whom I carry on my mind to thy throne of grace. This is the +sum and substance of my prayers. Bring them into the bond of this +covenant, and deal with them according to the order of it, and the +provision made for them in it, in all possible circumstances. Amen. + + "O God, in the multitude of thy mercies hear me, in the truth of +thy salvation. Truth of thy salvation! thou only knowest the truth of +thy salvation. How little do we know of thy work. Many of those +providences which appear to us dark and dismal, are wheels turning +round 'the truth of thy salvation;' opening our blinded eyes to the +issues of sin, and also delivering from the snares of the devil. Deal +not, O Lord, with me, and mine, as our iniquities deserve; this has +never been thy way with us; but according to thy former +loving-kindness, and to all the long-suffering, patience, and +pardoning mercy which thy aged servant has experienced through her +sinful guilty pilgrimage. Thou hast forgiven me all the way from +Egypt. Leave me not now, when I am old and grey-headed; but when +strength and heart fail, be thou the strength of my heart and portion +for ever. Amen." + + + The winter of 1804-5 was unusually severe: the river Hudson was +shut by frost as early as November; fuel was consequently scarce and +dear, and the poor suffered greatly. Mrs. Graham visited those parts +of the city where the poorer class of sufferers dwelt;* in upwards of +two hundred families she either found a Bible their property, or gave +them one; praying with them in their affliction. She requested a +friend to write, first one religious tract and then another, suited to +the peculiar situation of those afflicted people. One was called, "A +Donation to Poor Widows with Small Children;" the other, "A Second +Visit to Poor Widows with Small Children." And lest it might be said +it was cheap to give advice, she usually gave a small sum of money +along with the tracts she distributed. There was at this time neither +a Bible nor Tract Society in New York. Mrs. Hoffman accompanied her in +many of her excursions. In the course of their visits, they discovered +a French family from St. Domingo in such extremity of distress as made +them judge it necessary to report their case to the Honorable Dewitt +Clinton, then mayor of the city. The situation of this family being +made public, three hundred dollars were voluntarily contributed for +their relief. Roused by this incident, a public meeting was called at +the Tontine Coffee-house, and committees from the different wards were +appointed to aid the corporation in ascertaining and supplying the +immediate wants of the suffering poor. The zeal of Mrs. Graham and +Mrs. Hoffman paved the way for this public-spirited exertion, which +probably was the means of saving the lives of some of the destitute +and friendless. + +*The following notice of these scenes appeared in one + of the periodical publications of the day: + + "When sorrow shrunk before the piercing wind, + And famine, shelterless, in suffering pined; + When sickness drooped in solitary pain, + Mid varying misery's relentless reign; + Oh, then tumultuous rose the plaints of grief, + And loud and strong the clamors for relief! + Then active charity, with boundless care, + From gloomy faces chased the fiend Despair, + Dispelled the horrors of the wintry day, + And none that asked went unrelieved away. + "Yet there are some who sorrow's vigils keep, + Unknown that languish, undistinguished weep; + Behold yon ruined building's shattered walls, + Where drifting snow through many a crevice falls; + Whose smokeless vent no blazing fuel knows, + But drear and cold the widow's mansion shows; + Her fragile form, by sickness deeply riven, + Too weak to face the driving blasts of heaven, + Her voice too faint to reach some pitying ear, + Her shivering babes command her anguished tear: + Their feeble cries in vain assistance crave, + And expectation 'points but to the grave.' + "But lo, with hasty step a female form + Glides through the wind and braves the chilling storm, + With eager hand now shakes the tottering door, + Now rushes breathless o'er the snow-clad floor. + Her tongue soft comfort to the mourner speaks, + Her silver voice with soft emotion breaks; + Round the drear hovel roves her moistened eye, + Her graceful bosom heaves the lengthened sigh. + "I know thee now--I know that angel frame-- + O that the muse might dare to breathe thy name: + Nor thine alone, but all that sister-band + Who scatter gladness o'er a weeping land; + Who comfort to the infant sufferer bring, + And 'teach with joy the widow's heart to sing.' + "For this, no noisy honors fame shall give, + In your own breasts your gentle virtues live; + No sounding numbers shall your names reveal, + But your own hearts the rich reward shall feel. + "ALBERT." + + + In the month of August, 1805, Mrs. Graham paid another visit to +her friends in Boston, of whom she spoke with much affection and +esteem. She used to mention, with peculiar approbation, a society of +pious ladies there, who met once in every week for prayer and mutual +edification. + + On returning to New York, she again wrote to her friend Mrs. +C----, renewing her endeavors for her consolation and establishment in +the faith of Christ; and soon after informed her of the dangerous +illness of two of her grandchildren, one of whom, in the righteous +dispensations of an unerring Providence, was taken, and the +other left. + + + To Mrs. C----, Boston. + + "GREENWICH, N.Y., Sept. 26, 1805. + + "MY DEAR FRIEND--I arrived here on Monday. I found my children in +health, but much affected with the death of the amiable youth M----, +and the melancholy situation of his bereaved parents. + + "The epidemic spreads over the city in every direction among the +few remaining in it. All the public offices are here; crowds of the +citizens, and houses and stores spring up in a day; all is bustle and +confusion, and all seem mad on business. + + "Parting with my dear friend was most painful, so painful that +nothing could alleviate it but the presence of my own children, who, +could there have been room from deeper sorrows, would have shared it +with me. O that I could put my God in my place in your heart. What are +earthly friends? How few are steady against all change of +circumstances; of these, fewer still have it in their power to supply +every link of friendship's chain; a thousand unforeseen incidents +disappoint their wishes and frustrate their hopes, rendering abortive +their greatest exertions. But there is a Friend, everywhere present, +thoroughly acquainted with every circumstance of the heart and of the +life; all-powerful to relieve; whose love is invariable, and ever the +most tender when every other friend stands aloof; a friend in +adversity, 'a friend who sticketh closer than a brother,' whose love +surpasseth the love of women. This Friend receiveth sinners--casts out +none who come to him. He was never known to disappoint the hopes of +any poor sinner. He receives them into his heart; he takes all their +burdens and cares on himself, pays all their debts, answers all +demands against them, and is every way surety for them; they become +his own, no one has any thing to say to them but himself. He knows +them--how apt to err, to wander, yea, to forget him, and prove +ungrateful; all this he knows, but he has made provision for all. He +has a rod, and he will subdue their iniquities. He will heal their +backslidings, he will bring back and restore his wanderers. He will in +due time perfect what concerns them, and present them to his Father +purified, without spot or wrinkle. + + "In the meantime he requires them to confide in him; to go up +through this wilderness leaning upon him; to tell him all their +complaints and griefs, and to comfort themselves: and he will impress +the comfort by means of his great and precious promises, scattered +like so many pearls through his sacred Bible, tabled there on purpose +for us to ground our prayers upon, and delight ourselves in. This is +your friend's Friend, and of ten thousand besides. This was the wicked +Magdalene's Friend; this, the persecuting Paul's Friend, wicked +Manasseh's Friend; the adulterous, murdering David's Friend. And he is +your Friend, though your eyes are holden that you see him not. He is +leading you by a way that you know not. This is one of his characters, +'I will bring the blind by a way that they know not.' + + "I was happy to find your niece was to return with Mr. C----; +but, my dear, a painful dread has assaulted my peace, lest Satan get +the advantage by means of a stranger in the family, and undo what has +been begun. The world may have peace without God; but you shall not. +You have, however feebly, taken hold of his covenant, and he will keep +you to your choice. 'If his children forsake his laws and go astray,' +etc. Psalm 79:30." + + + "NOVEMBER, 1805. + + "MY DEAR FRIEND--This is not our rest; through much tribulation +all Christ's disciples must follow him. There is a rest prepared for +the people of God: as far as tasted in this world--and in this world +it is tasted--it consists in a mind resigned to the will of God in +proportion as it can say, 'Thy will be done on earth, as it is done in +heaven.' Christ himself was made perfect through suffering, and all +his followers shall be so in their appointed measure. What is our cup +to his? O my dear friend, we are ransomed, we are redeemed, and we are +fitting and preparing for the purchased inheritance, that perfect rest +prepared for the people of God when their warfare is finished. Let him +do all his pleasure with us here; let him subdue our iniquities in his +own way; let him glorify his name by our sufferings--his glory is ever +connected with his people's best interests. We shall one day +acknowledge that he has done all things well, and that not one word of +all that he has promised has failed. + + "It has pleased the Lord to take from us our dear sweet Rebecca; +young as she was, through much tribulation she entered in: I have +scarcely seen severer suffering, nor a harder dismission. It is well; +the Lord will answer his own ends by it for the good of all concerned, +as well as for his own glory. Our dear G---- was ill at the same time, +and all hope was lost as to him also; for a whole week we looked upon +him as dying, A bold measure was taken with him, which succeeded; the +Lord had commanded life; it was not thought of for her. God had +appointed to her entrance into life eternal. It is all well. Blessed, +blessed be his name; for her he has taken and him he has restored, +both equally. I.G. S---- was confined at the same time with a broken +arm; N. B---- with the fever and pleurisy. Deep have been the wounds in +this aged heart, not yet weaned from earth, but tremblingly alive to +every thing that concerns my children. Yet I do give up. I have asked +but one thing with importunity, and by that I abide. I did not ask for +temporal life, but the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives +to bestow; let him answer my petition by means of his own appointing: +by health or by sickness, by riches or by poverty, by long life or +early deaths--only let all mine by the ties of nature, be his by +regeneration of his Spirit." + + + Having felt the trials and the responsibilities of widowhood, she +wrote to her brother's widow, Mrs. Marshall, in 1805: + + + "You are now, my dear sister, the only head of your family. Will +you take Joshua's determination? 'As for me and my house, we will +serve the Lord.' Take hold of God's covenant for your orphan children +as for yourself, and consider them as his, to be brought up for him. +Be a priestess in your own house, and keep up the worship of God daily +in your family, and confess your Lord and Master before angels, men, +and devils. Those who thus honor God, he will honor. + + "You are indeed, my dear, arrived at an important stage of your +journey through this great wilderness. You are now the head of the +family, and are to God immediately answerable. No earthly +consideration must make you give up the government of it, nor the +prerogative which he hath given you, to counsel, and even beseech your +household to serve the Lord. You cannot give grace; you cannot give +life; and where there is no life there can be no spiritual exercise: +but you may use means, although there is much prudence to be observed +to avoid disgust. + + "Be faithful, then, my dear sister, to your important trust. See +that your household remember the Sabbath-day to keep it holy; your +children, of course, will accompany you to the house of God, but let +not your servants absent themselves from his ordinances, and endeavor, +on your return home, to explain and bring home the word that may have +been spoken to their consciences. Above all, let it be your constant +aim to set before them a godly, consistent example, and be much +engaged in prayer for them--I mean for your servants as well as for +your children, and God will, in all probability, make you a mother in +Israel, the mother of many spiritual children, and turn your captivity +into rejoicing, and fill your mouth with songs of praise; or should +you not have this comfort, should the night of adversity last to the +very valley of the shadow of death, the morning of eternal rest shall +then beam forth upon your own soul, and your prayers may be answered +for others, when the eyes that wept and the breast that heaved are at +rest in the dust. O, then, my sister, possess your soul in patience, +and seek to make daily advances in holiness." + + + + + CHAPTER IX. + + ORPHAN ASYLUM SOCIETY--FOREIGN + MISSIONARIES--LETTERS. + + + On the 15th of March, 1806, the female subscribers to proposals +for providing an asylum for orphan children met at the City Hotel; +Mrs. Graham was called to the chair, a society organized, and a board +of direction chosen, Mrs. Hoffman was elected the first directress of +the Orphan Asylum Society. Mrs. Graham continued in the office of +first directress of the Widows' Society, but took a deep interest in +the success of the Orphan Asylum also; she, or one of her family, +taught the orphans daily, until the funds of the institution were +sufficient to provide a teacher and superintendent. She was a trustee +at the time of her decease. The wish to establish this new society was +occasioned by the pain which it gave the ladies of the Widows' Society +to behold a family of orphans driven, on the decease of a widow, to +seek refuge in the almshouse; no melting heart to feel, no redeeming +hand to rescue them from a situation so unpromising for mental and +moral improvement. + + "Among the afflicted of our suffering race," thus speaks the +constitution of the society, "none makes a stronger or more impressive +appeal to humanity than the _destitute orphan_. Crime has not +been the cause of its misery, and future usefulness may yet be the +result of its protection; the reverse is often the case of more aged +objects. God himself has marked the fatherless as the peculiar +subjects of his divine compassion. 'A Father of the fatherless is God +in his holy habitation,' 'When my father and my mother forsake me, +then the Lord will take me up.' To be the blessed instrument of, +divine Providence in making good the promise of God, is a privilege +equally desirable and honorable to the benevolent heart.'" + + + And truly God has made good his promise towards this benevolent +institution. He has crowned the undertaking with his remarkable +blessing. It was begun by his disciples in faith, and he has +acknowledged them in it. Having for fourteen months occupied a hired +house for an asylum, the ladies entertained the bold idea of building +an asylum on account of the society. They had then about three hundred +and fifty dollars as the commencement of a fund for the building; they +purchased four lots of ground in the village of Greenwich, on a +healthful, elevated site, possessing a fine prospect. The corner-stone +was laid on the 7th of July, 1807. They erected a building fifty feet +square; from time to time they proceeded to finish the interior of the +building, and to purchase additional ground as their funds would +permit; and such was the liberality of the legislature and of the +public, that the society soon possessed a handsome building and nearly +an acre of ground, all of which must have cost them little short of +twenty-five thousand dollars. In that house Mrs. Graham and Mrs. +Hoffman spent much of their time; there they trained for eternity the +children of those whose widowed dying mothers they had cheered with +the hope that when they should be taken away, God would fulfil his +gracious promise and preserve their fatherless children alive. + + Mrs. Hoffman survived Mrs. Graham seven years. Her end, like that +of her friend, was peace. But though God removed those mothers in +Israel, their prayers are still before him, and the institution +continues to prosper. In 1836, the city having extended to where the +asylum was situated, and the property at the same time increased in +value, the society became desirous to remove where the children would +enjoy purer air, and have greater convenience for a garden and pasture +for cows. With the advice of their patrons, they sold the property for +about thirty-nine thousand dollars; purchased nearly ten acres of +ground at Bloomingdale, and on the 9th of June the same year laid the +foundation-stone of their present beautiful building. + + In the Thirty-fourth Annual Report of the society for 1840, we +find the following record of God's goodness: + + "On no former occasion has the board of direction been privileged +to make to the friends and patrons of this institution a more +favorable report than the present. The orphan's home is completed, and +the beautiful building on the banks of the Hudson is alike an ornament +to the city and a memorial of the liberality of its inhabitants. +Within it are found, not only ample accommodations for a numerous +family, but a place for the Lord, a habitation for the orphans' God. +On the 19th of November last the chapel was opened for religious +worship; the services were performed by reverend clergy of different +denominations; and a highly respectable and apparently gratified +audience attended. All the children, one hundred and sixty-five in +number, were present, from the infant in arms to the youth who will +this day pronounce the valedictory. + + "To those who have witnessed the progress of this institution +from the _small frame-house_ of 1806 to the noble edifice of +1840, accompanied by the recollection that the door has never been +closed against the destitute orphan, how deep must be the conviction +of an overruling Providence--the truth of the declaration, that God is +the father of the fatherless in his holy habitation, and the +fulfilment of his gracious promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I +will preserve them alive.' Nor is the orphan family merely furnished +with sufficient accommodation for dwelling and moral and religious +education: the grounds afford ample room for exercise and recreation; +the garden supplies them with fruit and vegetables; and there being +pasture for several cows, wholesome milk is added to their simple +breakfast, while the abounding river invigorates the frame by a saline +bath, and by casting a net into it, furnishes an occasional dinner of +fresh fish." + + The society, ever grateful to the founders, have erected a tablet +on the wall of the beautiful chapel, which bears the following +inscription: + + + SACRED TO THE MEMORY + + OF + + ISABELLA GRAHAM, + WHO DIED 27TH JULY, 1814; + + AND OF + + MRS. SARAH HOFFMAN, + WHO DIED 29TH JULY, 1821. + + THEY WERE BOTH FOUNDERS OF THIS INSTITUTION. + + TO THEIR PRAYER OF FAITH, + AND WISDOM IN DIRECTING ITS COUNSELS, + THE SOCIETY IS INDEBTED FOR MUCH OF THE SUCCESS THAT HAS + ATTENDED IT. + + THEY WERE LOVELY IN THEIR LIVES, + AND DURING MANY YEARS THEY TRAVELLED TOGETHER THE WALKS + OF CHARITY. + + WHEN THE EAR HEARD THEM IT BLESSED THEM, AND THEY CAUSED THE + WIDOW'S HEART TO SING FOR JOY. + + THEY NOW REST FROM THEIR LABORS, + + PARTAKERS OF THE BLESSEDNESS OF THOSE + WHO DIE IN THE LORD: + + THEIR WORKS DO FOLLOW THEM. + + The success which has attended the Orphan Asylum Society, +furnishes strong encouragement to attempt great and good objects even +with slender means. God in his providence will command a blessing on +exertions of this character. It is too common a mistake, and one fatal +to the progress of improvement, that great means should be in actual +possession before great objects should be attempted. Ah, were our +dependence simply on apparent instruments, how small must be our hopes +of success. There is a mystery, yet a certainty, in the manner by +which God is pleased in his providence to conduct feeble means to a +happy conclusion. Has he not preserved, cherished, and blessed his +church through many ages, amidst overwhelming persecutions, and that +often by means apparently inadequate to this end? We must work for, as +well as pray for the blessing which God has promised to bestow on our +sinful race. We must put our shoulder to the wheel, while we look up +to heaven for assistance, and God will bless those who are found in +the path of duty. + + In this asylum, the ladies have set no limits to the number to be +received; and it has pleased God also not to set limits to the means +necessary for their support. The institution is a great favorite with +the public, and is frequently visited by strangers, who are delighted +with the cleanliness, health, and cheerful countenances of the +orphans. + + The Society have received a charter of incorporation from the +legislature; they have a handsome seal, with this inscription: +"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have +done it unto me." + + For several years it was customary with Mrs. Graham to visit the +New York hospital; and before the admirable provision since made for +the separate care of those mentally deranged, she paid a particular +attention to patients of this description. + + To the apartments appropriated to sick female convicts in the +state prison, she also made many visits; she met with some affecting +circumstances among this class. + + In the winter of 1807-8, when the suspension of commerce by the +embargo rendered the situation of the poor more destitute than ever, +Mrs. Graham adopted a plan best calculated in her view to detect the +idle applicant for charity, and at the same time to furnish employment +for the more worthy among the female poor. She purchased flax, and +lent wheels where applicants had none. Such as were industrious, took +the work with thankfulness and were paid for it; those who were +beggars by profession never kept their word by returning for the flax +or the wheel. The flax thus spun was afterwards wove, bleached, and +made into table-cloths and towels for family use. + + Mrs. Graham used to remark, that until some institution should be +formed to furnish employment for industrious poor women, the work of +charity would be incomplete. It was about this time that, deeming the +duties too laborious for her health, she resigned the office of first +directress of the Widows' Society, and took the place of a manager. +She afterwards declined this also, and became a trustee of the Orphan +Asylum Society, as more suited to her advanced period of life. + + The lady to whom the following letter was addressed was Miss +FARQUHARSON, a person of genuine piety and worth, whom Mrs. Graham had +educated and prepared to become her assistant in teaching. When Mrs. +Graham retired from her school, Miss Farquharson declined to succeed +her, preferring to accompany and enjoy the society of her patroness +and friend. Until 1804 she proved as efficient an assistant to Mrs. +Graham in her charitable labors in the Widows' Society and +Sabbath-school, as she had been in her boarding-school. + + During the prevalence of the yellow-fever in 1804, she was called +to attend her own dying mother, and underwent so much fatigue, that on +her return to Mrs. Graham she broke a bloodvessel, and for four months +was confined to her room, during all which time Mrs. Graham attended +her night and day. Her medical attendants prescribed a long voyage and +residence in a hot climate as the only means of saving her life. About +that time Mr. Andrew Smith was preparing to sail for the East Indies +with his family, by the way of England. With them she embarked. She +sojourned several weeks in Birmingham, and there the circumstances +commenced which eventually led Miss Farquharson to become a +missionary's wife, and the first American missionary to foreign lands. +Her history has been published by Rev. Mr. Knill, in a tract entitled, +"The Missionary's Wife." + + The London Missionary Society were preparing to establish a +mission in the idolatrous city of Surat, but the East India Company +would not allow Christian missionaries to sail in their ships. The +Society thankfully availed themselves of the privilege of sending Mr. +Loveless and Dr. Taylor in the American ship Alleghany. They arrived +in Madras, June, 1805. + + During the voyage an attachment was formed between Mr. Loveless +and Miss Farquharson which death only could sever, and introduced her +to scenes of usefulness for more than thirty years, for which she was +eminently qualified by early training. As soon as Mrs. Graham heard +how her friend was going to be employed, she wrote to her as follows: + + + "MY DEAR SALLY--Many tears have I shed over your letter. What a +changing lot has been that of my family! The Lord's providences to me +and mine have not been of the ordinary kind, and you, as one in it, +seem to be a partaker with us. Surely, of all others, we have most +reason to say, We are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. Oh that we +may drink into the true spirit of that phrase, and enjoy the genuine, +firm faith of an everlasting habitation, of living at home with God. + + "My dear Sally, take the comfort of this, that it is the Lord who +hath led you all the way by which you have gone. Of all persons whom I +know, you were, from your temper and disposition, the least likely to +travel, still less to continue a traveller. No ordinary means would +have led you to leave your friends and religious privileges. And many +a pang it has cost me, on reflection, to think how positive I was that +you should take the voyage. But it was of the Lord. The physicians +urged it as the only chance you had for life, and they had reason; for +of all those who were attacked in the same manner, there is not one +alive, within my knowledge, at this day. + + "The Lord, by wonderful means, called you from your native land, +and led you to the very spot where you met Mr. Loveless. The same God, +being also his God, led him, by means perhaps equally unforeseen and +uncommon, to the same spot, united your hearts to each other, and made +you one in his hand, and I trust to his glory. You ask my blessing: I +have carried both of you to my God and Saviour, and have prayed, and +continue to pray, that the Lord will bless you individually and +unitedly, give you much sweet communion with himself, and much social +enjoyment with him and with one another. May he bless Mr. Loveless as +a missionary, and give him the spirit of his office, and much fruit +among the heathen, as seals to his ministry; and may you be a helper +with him, and both be blessed and made a blessing. + + "I feel my loss. You were a comfort and a help to us all, +especially to me: but I do not mourn; I heartily acquiesce. This is +not only agreeable to me, as it is one of God's wise arrangements to +you and us all, but I think it will be more to your comfort. Religion +and conjugal love will sweeten almost any lot. It is the Lord's +appointment and his richest earthly blessing. + + "My dear Sally, I have ever considered you as my child. You are +very dear to my heart. Tell Mr. Loveless he must ever consider me as +his mother. + + "Your affectionate mother, + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + In the month of January, 1807, the London Missionary Society, of +which Mr. Bethune was a foreign director, sent to this country the +Rev. Messrs. Gordon, Lee, and Morrison; the two first to sail in an +American ship for the East Indies, and Mr. Morrison for China. These +devoted missionaries shared largely in the hospitalities of Christians +in New York, and spent much of their time with Mr. Bethune's family. +Mrs. Graham took great delight in conversing and advising with them, +and though none of her letters addressed to them have come to hand, it +is believed she corresponded with them. The following extract of a +letter from Dr. Morrison, indicates the respect and Christian +affection with which he regarded her. + + + "ON BOARD THE TRIDENT, May 24, 1807. + + "MY EVER DEAR MOTHER GRAHAM--I think you were led by the special +interference of our gracious Lord, to put into my hands the work which +you did, accompanied by the edifying and comforting letter which you +wrote me. + + "I thank you for telling me what God did for your soul, and join +with you in ascribing to the Lord salvation and honor. I had, my +mother, from the time of leaving my dear relations and friends, passed +through waters deep as the fathomless ocean which I crossed; but with +the Lord there is mercy; with him is 'plenteous redemption.' He is +ready to forgive. He has restored to me, in some measure, 'the joy of +his salvation,' and will not, I trust, take his Holy Spirit from me. +This is my prayer. To-day he enabled me, on board of this vessel, to +open my lips to teach transgressors his way. O, that sinners may be +converted unto him." + + + To Mr. and Mrs. B----, at Ballston Springs. + + "NEW YORK, August, 1807. + + "MY BELOVED CHILDREN--A husband, wife, and child, make a family, +and God ought to be acknowledged by them as such. I am anxious that +you should meet in your room for that purpose some time every morning. + + "If it cannot be accomplished at an early hour, redeem that time +in a later, and also before going to rest in the evening. The Lord has +honored your family worship with genuine fruits, follow it up in all +places. Like Abraham of old, wherever you pitch your tent, for a +longer or shorter period, there raise an altar to the Lord, to that +God who has fed you all your life, carried you as on eagle's wings, +and will carry you to old age and gray hairs." + + + To Mrs. Juliet S----, New York, one of her former pupils. + + "BELLEVILLE, September 16, 1808. + + "MY DEAR JULIET--Since the hour I received your letter, you have +been little out of my mind. You call upon me as mother, friend, +counsellor. Shall conscious unworthiness, or weakness, or ignorance, +prevent my answering? No; for God often chooses weak instruments to +bring to pass great ends, I have been once and again to a throne of +grace, for wisdom to direct me, and grace to be faithful. If your +desire after spiritual knowledge be sincere, and from the Spirit of +God operating on your heart, you will bear searching. + + "You are a communicant, my Juliet; this presupposes that a very +great and important change has taken place in your mind--that you have +been made deeply sensible of what the word of God testifies of every +son and daughter of Adam's race. 'As it is written, There is none +righteous, no, not one.' Rom. 3:10. Man is born as the wild ass's +colt, going astray from the womb. Job. The heart is deceitful above +all things, and desperately wicked; I the Lord search it. Having the +understanding darkened, alienated from the life of God, through the +ignorance that is in us, because of the blindness of our hearts. Dead +in trespasses and sins. Eph. 4:18; 2:1. + + "Your profession presupposes that this chapter may be addressed +to you, Juliet, by name: 'You hath he quickened, who were dead in +trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the +course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, +the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among +whom also we all had our conversation in times past, in the lusts of +our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and +were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is +rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we +were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ; by grace +are ye saved, through faith, not of works, lest any man should boast.' +Works there are, my Juliet, most assuredly; every quickened soul will +live, and bring forth fruits of righteousness; but these works are not +attainable but in God's way and order. It follows, 'For we are his +workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath +before ordained that we should walk in them.' + + "My Juliet says, 'To you then I look up to teach me.' Let me then +bring you to the great Teacher and Prophet of the church, without +whose teaching all human instruction will be ineffectual. We read of +two amiable characters coming to Christ professedly for instruction. +The first you will find in Matthew 19:16. The young man asks him, +'What good thing shall I do, that I may inherit eternal life?' Jesus +answers him by referring him to the moral law: the young man, not made +acquainted by the Spirit of God, either with the extent or +spirituality of that law, or of the depravity of his own nature, +answers, as many in like circumstances still do,' All these things +have I kept from my youth up.' I do not suppose any one could +contradict him. It is added that Jesus loved him, and he was a person +of attractive character; but Jesus knew that the true principle was +not there--supreme love to God, 'with all the heart, with all the +soul, with all the strength, and with all the mind:' therefore he gave +him a test which proved that the world was uppermost in his heart. He +went away sorrowful, and we hear no more of him. + + "Of the other person we read in that remarkable chapter, the +third of John's gospel--Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews, and also a +teacher. Well knew he the law, as to the letter of it, both moral and +ceremonial; he must also have been acquainted with all the Old +Testament scripture types and prophecies, it being his office to +expound; and no doubt, among others, was looking for the promised +Messiah. Jesus does not send him to either the law or the prophets. +This ruler comes with a conviction and an acknowledgment that Jesus +himself was a teacher immediately from God; and Jesus immediately +takes upon himself his great office, and begins with urging that which +is a sinner's first business--'to know himself,' what he is by nature, +and the necessity of the new birth. Nicodemus, with all his learning, +was a stranger to this doctrine: 'How can a man be born when he is +old?' Jesus repeats his doctrine, 'He must be born of water and the +Spirit;' baptized with water and the Holy Ghost. 'That which is born +of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. +Marvel not that I said unto you, Ye must be born again.' Humble that +proud reason that will believe nothing but what it can understand. +'The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound +thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth; so +is every one that is born of the Spirit.' A mystery it is; +nevertheless it is true. + + "Follow out the chapter, my dear: Jesus preaches his own gospel, +and brings in that beautiful type, the serpent, which he had commanded +to be raised on a pole, that those who had been bitten with fiery +serpents, whose bite was death, should look upon it and be healed. +Read it, my dear, in the 21st of Numbers; and in reference to this, he +himself says, 'Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the +earth.' Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. +Quickened, renewed in the spirit, of his mind, old things pass away +and all things become new--new principles, new desires, new pleasures, +new ends. The work is God's. The whole plan of redemption is his from +first to last. It is clearly revealed in Scripture, and there is no +dispute among Christians concerning it. The fall of man, his +corruption and depravity; his state under the curse of a broken +covenant, and his exposure to eternal misery; his helplessness and +total inability to gain acceptance with God; his ignorance of +himself--'dead in trespasses and sins,' 'without God and without hope +in the world:' this is his situation by nature. But there is good news +proclaimed: 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten +Son,' to become the surety of lost sinners. He took our nature upon +him, our sins upon him, our duties upon him: he was placed in our +stead; sustained the penalty of the broken law; fulfilled its utmost +demands; redeemed us; gave us a new covenant, of which himself +is the surety: and there is 'no condemnation to them that are in +Christ Jesus.' + + "The merits of Christ, exclusive of any thing of ours, are the +sole foundation of our hope. Christ is set forth, in Scripture, as the +atonement, the propitiation for sins, the one sacrifice for sin; +Christ is the end of the law for righteousness; all is made ours by +free gift. 1 John, 5:11. All is ready, justice satisfied, God +reconciled, peace proclaimed. But what is all this to a thoughtless +world, insensible of their situation, danger, and need? It is an awful +saying, but it is of the Holy Ghost, If our gospel be hid, it is hid +to them that are lost, in whom the god of this world hath blinded +their minds, and darkened their understandings, and hardened their +hearts, etc. Therefore the application of this grace is also of God; +it is all within his plan; he has appointed means, and commanded our +diligence in the use of them. We have his Bible in our hands, his +ministers in our churches, who are also pastors and teachers if we +apply for their aid in private; we have a throne of grace to go to, +and many great and precious promises held up in God's word for us to +embrace and plead for Christ's sake: we have many prayers in the +Scriptures which we may adopt. + + "I acknowledge we are all still dependent for the effect; that +must be from God himself. But he does honor his own ordinances. He +puts forth his power, and convinces of sin; this is his first work. +The soul is awakened, aroused, convinced of sin and misery; sins of +the heart, sins of the tongue, sins of the life, press upon the +conscience which never disturbed us before; misspent time, wasted +talents, lost opportunities, neglect of God's word and ordinances, so +that the soul cannot rest. O, my Juliet, this is a hopeful case. I +hope you have experienced something of this. It is one of the surest +marks of the operation of the Spirit of God, and a prelude to the new +birth. It never takes place without it, for the whole need not a +physician, but they that are sick. Only the weary and heavy laden will +prize rest, and Christ is the rest they need; only a convinced sinner +will or can prize the Saviour, and now the Lord opens his mind to +understand the Scriptures. He sees the provision which God has made +for ruined sinners, by providing a substitute to stand in his room; he +perceives how God can be just and justify the sinner who takes shelter +in Jesus; he falls in with God's gracious plan: receives the Lord +Jesus as God's gift to sinners; trusts entirely in his merits for +pardon, peace, reconciliation, and eternal life; resigns his soul into +the hands of his Saviour, in the faith that he will save it, and +devotes himself unreservedly to his service, in the faith that he will +give him grace to live to him in all holy obedience. Now, and not till +now, according to God's promise, he receives power to become his +child; this is God's order, John 1:12. Now he receives life and begins +to live; but there is yet a great work before him. It hath pleased God +in his plan to finish at once a justifying righteousness; it is his +own work, and was finished in that awful hour when he announced it in +his last words on the cross. John 19:30. To this nothing of ours is to +be added, with this nothing of ours mixed; it is for ever perfect, it +is God's gift made ours in the hour when we first believe, receive it, +rest our souls upon it. + + "But it hath not pleased God in this plan to deliver the believer +at once from indwelling sin. This is the subject of the Christian +warfare, the race, the good fight. Now the believer receives life, and +is called to work. 'Work out your own salvation with fear and +trembling, for it is God that worketh in you both to will and to do.' +All the promises in this blessed Bible are his, they are yea and amen +in Christ; Christ himself is his; his Spirit dwells in him. The +believer is united to Jesus by as real a union as the branch to the +vine, the members to the head, the building with the foundation. Yet +sin dwelleth in him, and is to be expunged by constant applications to +Christ in prayer; by means of watching, striving, fighting--fighting +under his banner. In his blessed word we are informed where our +strength lies, what our weapons, what our armor. But what can I say on +those subjects? the whole word of God is on the subject of redemption; +to this refer the whole labors of Christ's ministers, and the whole +dispensation of God's providence. + + "Are these things so? My Juliet, this is not the doctrine of any +one church. About these subjects there is no dispute. Presbyterians, +Episcopalians, Baptists, Independents, all agree in these great +things. And are these things so indeed? O, my Juliet, where is the +time to be spared for plays, assemblies, and such numerous idle +parties of various descriptions? I must stop; the subject is great, +and we have many excellent treatises on the various parts of it, by +able, pious men. It would be improper to crowd it thus into a letter, +unless to instigate to further investigation. + + "Farewell; I ever am, my dear Juliet, + + "Yours affectionately, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + The delicate state of health to which one of her granddaughters +was reduced in 1808, made it necessary for her to spend the summer +season for five successive years at Rockaway, Long Island, for the +advantage of sea-bathing. Mrs. Graham went with her, it being +beneficial to her own health also. In this place she met with many +strangers; the company residing there treated her with much affection +and respect. She always attended to the worship of God morning and +evening in her room, and was usually accompanied by some of the ladies +who boarded in the house. Her fund of information, vivacity of manner, +and the interest which she felt in the happiness of all around her, +made her society highly valued and pleasing. Few of those ladies who +stayed with her at Rockaway for any length of time, failed to express, +at parting, their esteem for her, and they generally added a pressing +invitation for a visit from her, if ever she should travel near where +they dwelt. + + + The following is one of her sweet meditations while at Rockaway: + + + "ROCKAWAY, August, 1809. + + "Sweet health again returns, which, considering the agitation of +my mind, surprises me; but it is the Lord's pleasure. I did not wish +to recover. I was in hopes the Lord was about to deliver me from 'this +body of sin and death.' Lord, reconcile me to thy most holy will. +Health is certainly a great blessing. I feel its sweetness. O make me +thankful. Great and numerous are my mercies. Every thing pleasant and +every thing necessary to life, to godliness, is mine: food and raiment +to the utmost desires of nature; the beauties of thy fair creation +surround my ordinary dwelling; my dear little room, my Bible, and +books of every virtuous kind--by grace, thy chief mercy, I desire no +other--and by the kindness of my children, I possess all as if they +were my own personal property. By thy wonderful loving-kindness, thou +hast given me, instead of the contempt which I have merited, the love +and esteem of thy people, and thou hast made the very stones of +the field to be at peace with me, so that wherever I go I meet +with kindness." + + + To Mrs. Marshall. + + "NEW YORK, October, 1809. + + "I find your letter dated 'Elderslie'--the very name gives a +thrill to my old heart; in a moment the various scenes of my youthful +days rise before me--the old mansion itself, and all its beloved +inmates, every one of whom have now crossed the Jordan of death, +leaving me a solitary wanderer in this weary wilderness. Ah, I can at +this moment think of spots, by the burnside and the braeside, endeared +to my heart by a thousand tender associations. There have I wandered +with my beloved, idolized husband, and there has he delighted my heart +with professions of love. These were indeed moments of ecstasy; but +hush, there are you a widow with very, very different sensations, and +here am I a widow with sensations equally different. The Lord has +showed us many and sore adversities, but he will bring us up from the +deeps below; we are much nearer our Father's house, and I hope +proportionably riper for those joys which are at his right hand; and +although your letter has brought some pleasing recollections to my +mind--days of love and courtship, days, some of solitude, some of +disappointment, some of ecstasy--yet I find they were all days of +idolatry, therefore to be mourned over, not retasted, reenjoyed with +delight. No, no; Father, forgive me." + + + + + CHAPTER X. + + NEW YORK BIBLE SOCIETY--ASSOCIATIONS FOR + PRAYER--HAPPY OLD AGE--LETTERS. + + "In December, 1809, a Bible Society was organized in New York, +and about the same time twenty respectable persons united in a +society, to wait on the Lord, to know what their hands could find to +do to promote his glory, to advance his kingdom, to spread the savor +of the Redeemer's name, or in any way to benefit the souls of their +fellow-sinners. + + "On Monday a meeting for prayer was instituted in Hetty-street, +and another in Mulberry-street, with which the Presbyterian ministers +have agreed to meet in rotation. It is the Lord. We have heard of +revivals all around, but feared lest the aggravated sins of New York +might provoke the Lord to pass by, leaving our fleece dry, while the +dew wet all around. Great have been our privileges; the gospel trumpet +has sounded in every corner of our city. The Lord's servants have set +before us life and death, assuring us, from God's word, that 'though +hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished;' beseeching us +to flee from the wrath to come, and lay hold on the hope set before +us. God in his providence has visited us with mercies and with +judgments: stricken us, and healed us; scattered us, and gathered us: +but alas, alas, we were 'eating and drinking, marrying and giving in +marriage.' Many, very many, wasting their time, health, and substance, +in all manner of immorality, and our rulers caring for none of these +things; yea, many of them practising the same things; and Oh, God's +own saved people sitting still, restraining testimony before men and +prayer before God. What were we to expect but that God should say, Why +should they be stricken any more? they will revolt more and more: they +are joined to idols; let them alone. Such, O Lord, would be the case +didst thou not deliver us out of our own self-destroying snares. If +thou turn us not, we shall never turn; it is in our nature to +backslide for ever. + + "But is not the time come to pass when before thy people call +thou answerest, and while they are yet speaking, thou hearest? Art +thou not calling with power, 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I +will heal your backslidings?' and hast thou not prepared their hearts +to answer, Behold, we come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God? +truly, in vain is salvation looked for from the hills, and from the +multitude of mountains; truly, from the Lord our God is the salvation +of Israel. Hast thou not, O God, prepared the hearts of thy people to +pray, and thine ear to hear? Is not this Bible Society, and are not +these associations for prayer, tokens from thee for good? More and +more, Lord, may thy people give thee no rest, until thou make Zion a +praise in the earth. O the Hope of Israel, and the Saviour thereof, be +not as a wayfaring man, that turneth aside for a night. May thy people +constrain thee to abide with us for ever, to form us a people for +thyself, to show forth thy praise. + + "I have just conveyed dear Mrs. A----le to the confines of the +eternal world. I trust the dear Redeemer received her spirit. I have a +good hope that she is now in possession of the mansion purchased and +prepared for her by that dear Saviour whose name she professed, and I +think, in an humble, steady, quiet way, faithfully followed. She loved +the word of God, the house of God, the people of God. She spoke +little, but said she had a good hope: asked me to read the Bible +different times, and also to pray; said the invitations of the gospel +were sweet to her: observed that the Lord had been very merciful to +her in her affliction. + + "A few hours before her death she desired me to read that hymn, + + "'To him that loved the souls of men,' etc, + +Also, + + "'Come, let us join our cheerful songs,' etc. + +She asked if I thought she would continue long. I said, No, my +dear, you will very soon be with Jesus; and encouraged her as the Lord +enabled me. She repeated the question some time after, and I gave her +the same answer. She then said, 'This night?' I answered, Yes, my +love, this night. She bowed her head with a sweet smile, laid it in a +reclining posture, and set herself to wait with patience the Lord's +time. She was very much oppressed, and breathed with much difficulty. +Some time after she asked me to pray, which I did, and begged that the +Lord would increase her faith and patience, and, if according to his +will, give her a gentle passage and an abundant entrance. In a short +time her breathing became short and low; she shut her eyes and gently +breathed weaker and weaker, till her God delivered her without motion +or groan. I was on my knees praying. I then thanked God for his +goodness in this sweet dismission; prayed for the husband, the +children, the two young men present, and us all, gave glory to God, +and rose to watch to future duty. + + "O my God, is not my own death at hand? It is a hard battle. My +Jesus, thou knowest the struggle. I too must drink of this cup; mix it +for me, my Redeemer. O let a full sense of free pardon, the +recollection of the great and precious promises, a bright view of the +joys at God's right hand, as the fruit of thy death, be applied to my +soul in that awful hour. Holy Spirit, pour in the oil and wine of thy +consolations in that trying hour. O let me not be straitened. Open +wide to my soul the leaves of that well-ordered covenant, of which +Christ himself is the sum and substance. Redeeming God, may I +experience proof in that solemn hour, that 'thy flesh is meat indeed, +and thy blood is drink indeed.' O feed me with this living food; may I +feel life spring up in my soul, and be assured that I shall 'never +die.' O my God, grant one more request. Open my lips, and let them, as +well as my heart, be filled with the high praises of my redeeming God. + + "I know I am unworthy; the vilest of the vile; but magnify thy +grace. I have much forgiven; O let my heart burn with love and +gratitude in that hour, and my lips utter its effusions in songs of +praise. Amen. + + "When the short thick breathing comes, and the slow fetches, +sealing up speech and expelling the spirit from its abode, O let me +hear or understand thee saying unto me, 'It is I, be not afraid.'" + + + "JANUARY, 1810. + + "'Come and let us return unto the Lord, for he hath torn, and he +will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. After two days +will he revive us, in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall +live in his sight.' + + "O Lord, turn us and we shall be turned, draw us and we will run +after thee. Revive us, and we shall live in thy sight. Thou must ever +be first. It is in our nature to backslide for ever: and whenever we +see a backslider restored, or a rebel lay down the weapons of +rebellion, _there_ we may trace thy footsteps, O God of grace. + + "No external providence will touch our hard, our deceitful +hearts. All that goes under the name of misfortune will but drive us +_from_ thee, never _to_ thee, till thou teach us to profit, +and lead us by the way that we should go. Thou callest, 'Return, ye +backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings;' but we have +been foolish, sottish children, without understanding, wise to do +evil, but to do good having no knowledge. + + "Let the days come when the children of America--the earth is the +Lord's--shall 'come with weeping, and seek the Lord their God;' when +'they shall ask the way to Zion, with their faces thitherward;' when +they shall come, saying, 'Let us join ourselves to the Lord in a +perpetual covenant, never to be forgotten.' O the Hope of Israel and +Saviour thereof, is not that day and that time come? Hast thou not +been working on the right hand and on the left? Thou hast given us +pastors according to thine own heart, who feed us with knowledge and +understanding: and thou art here and there proving thy gospel thy +power and thy wisdom, to the salvation of sinners; casting down the +imaginations of pride, and bringing all into subjection to thy Son +Jesus. + + "O pour out the spirit of grace and supplication, upon thy living +members, that they may wrestle with thee, and not let thee go until +thou bless us, until thou make this 'cloud like a man's hand' cover +our heavens with blackness, and issue in a plentiful rain. O pour +water upon him that is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground; thy +Spirit upon our seed, and thy blessing upon our offspring. O Lord, +hast thou not said that thou wilt do it, and that they shall spring up +as among the grass, and as willows by the water-courses. One shall +say, I am the Lord's, another shall call himself by the name of Jacob, +and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the Lord, and surname +himself by the name of Israel. Amen, O our God, Amen. + + "Last week the Lord's young servant, Mr. R----, received to the +communion of the church seven adults, Mrs. B---- and her two +daughters, Dr. H---- and sister, Mr. C----, and a black woman, servant +to Mr. H----. It was a glorious sight, and revived the hearts of God's +people who witnessed it. O God of grace, grant that the fruits of +righteousness may prove that they are broken off from the wild +olive-tree, and grafted into thee, thou living and life-giving +olive-tree; from thee must their fruit be found. O cause them to bring +forth much fruit. Herein is the Father glorified, that they bear much +fruit; so shall they be Christ's disciples, and attain to the +assurance of that happy state. Father, glorify thy name. Amen." + + + In the year 1810, while bathing at Rockaway, she was carried by +the surf beyond her depth, and for some time there was scarcely a hope +of her regaining the shore. Her grandchildren were weeping on the +beach, and the company assembled there were afflicted but hopeless +spectators of her danger. At that moment of peril she prayed to the +Lord for deliverance, but acquiesced in his will, if he should see fit +to take her to himself in this manner. Able to swim a little, she kept +herself afloat for some time: she became at length very faint; and +when her friends on the beach apprehended her lost, they perceived +that the waves had impelled her somewhat nearer to them. A gentleman +present, and her female attendant, stepped into the surf and extending +their arms for mutual support, one of them was enabled to lay hold on +Mrs. Graham's bathing-gown and to pull her towards them. When they +brought her ashore she was much exhausted, and had swallowed a +considerable quantity of water. It was some hours before she revived, +when she addressed the company in a very serious and impressive manner +that affected them to tears. Her health during the following winter +was much impaired by the shock it had received. + + + "ROCKAWAY, June 15, 1810. + + "Came here the first of the month, with the children in the +whooping-cough. No 'church-going bell' here, but the Lord is +everywhere; and I have found him here, warming my heart with gratitude +and contrition, and drawing it out in prayer for his people met to +worship in his sanctuary. + + "When at a distance from my own people, it has been my practice +to join with whatever class of professing Christians might be near me. +Here it has been with the Methodists, who, I believe, enjoy communion +with God. Yesterday I went to a meeting of ----, who lay great stress +on good morals; but, O my God, what could I do, shut up with them? +Without the finished work of my Saviour, I could have no hope; without +his law-fulfilling righteousness, I must stand a law-condemned sinner. + + "The preacher yesterday took no text; in the course of his sermon +he said the Scriptures were only secondary guides. He began with the +importance of thinking of death, and said it could not be possible for +a rational being to live carelessly, with thoughts of death and +eternity in view. Is it so? No; we see sinners die, under the full +conviction that they are dying, as thoughtless as they have lived. + + "He said, that by constantly attending to the motions of the +Spirit and complying with them, Christians arrived at a state of +perfection even here; and brought in that text, 'He that is born of +God cannot sin,' etc. Spoke highly of watchfulness, and avoiding +connection with the world; said a real Christian could not hold any +office of power among men. Paul held one, but he gave it up when he +became an apostle. Christ's kingdom was not of this world. Laws and +officers were necessary among the men of the world, but not among +Christians. Spoke of the cross of Christ as consisting in suffering +and self-denial. His blood was the Spirit which cleansed from all sin, +by delivering all who obeyed him from its power. He named not my +blessed Saviour, except when he had occasion to mention some of his +moral sayings. He said, indeed, that he was the Light that lightened +every man that came into the world, and the condemnation was that men +would not receive it; but one word of his blessed priesthood he spoke +not, but said we were in a state of probation, and every one would be +judged according to his works, taking into view the advantages he had +enjoyed; recommended the reading of the Scriptures, especially the +inspired books, the New Testament and the prophets; for it needed no +inspiration to write the national history of the Jews more than that +of any other nation. Said the Scriptures were good secondary guides, +and contained excellent lessons and truths. + + "When I was coming away he offered me his hand, saying that I was +not a resident there. I answered no, I was separated from my own +people, but wished to unite with any class of Christians who met +professedly to worship God; but confessed I could not live upon what +he had this day delivered. He asked what was wrong. I answered, he had +given some good exhortations; I agreed with him in many things +respecting conduct; but I missed the foundation. He repeated the +scriptures, 'Other foundation can no man lay,' etc. I said, Exactly: +off this foundation there is no salvation; on this foundation there +may be loss, but no condemnation. We have a great and merciful +High-priest, who can have compassion on the ignorant, and them who are +out of the way; and there may be straw, hay, stubble, which will be +burnt up, but the soul itself, being on the foundation, is safe. He +said with firmness, That will be burnt up in this world; without +holiness no man shall see the Lord. I said, True; but why avoid the +tenor of Scripture? read all the epistles; the Lord Jesus Christ, the +gift of God, the propitiatory sacrifice, the meritorious +law-fulfilling righteousness, is set forth, in every one of them, as +that which saves from wrath and entitles to eternal life. He said they +were all emblems of our being made holy in heart and life; Christians +were baptized unto the death of Christ, and rise with him to newness +of life, buried with him, etc. I granted that as one reading of these +words. He said every other view was shadow. I said, No--the blood of +bulls and goats is shadow; Christ himself, his person, his offices, +his life, his sufferings, his death, his burial, resurrection, +ascension, and intercession within the veil, are all substance--the +sole foundation of my hope, and my only plea at a throne of grace. + + "Dear Name, the rock on which I build, + My shield and hiding-place, + My never-failing treasury, filled + With boundless stores of grace. + + Jesus, my Husband, Shepherd, Friend, + My Prophet, Priest, and King, + My Lord, my life, my way, my end, + Accept the praise I bring." + + + "ROCKAWAY, August, 1810. + + "Hebrews is my ordinary, when no other passage of Scripture +attracts my particular attention. This is the third morning I have +opened the New Testament on the 14th chapter of John, and have fed +delightfully on the first three verses. There is at all times a thorn +in my heart, keeping me in continual remembrance of my vile, +ungrateful backslidings, so that I eat my sweetest morsels with bitter +herbs. It was particularly painful to me this morning; nevertheless; +the Lord God, merciful and gracious, repeated on my heart, 'Let not +your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' I was arrested at +the fourth verse, 'Whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.' I have +had many comfortable exercises on the eighth verse, the Redeemer's +answer to Philip's inquiry. But this morning my mind was led to a +different view of that saying, and which I think was literally +included. The Redeemer was going to his Father, and his way lay +through death, the death of the cross. The hour was at hand when he +was to make his holy and righteous soul an offering for sin, that he +might become the author of salvation to all who obey him. All the sins +confessed and pardoned by the sacrifices under the law were laid on +this blessed Surety--they were only the shadows, he was the +substance--the real Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the +world, was now to be offered up. This was he who said, 'Sacrifice and +offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me; in +burnt-offerings and offerings for sin thou hast had no pleasure; then +said I, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God:' by which will we are +sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once +for all. + + "He was going to the garden--Oh that garden! Peter had said he +was able to drink of that cup and to be baptized with that baptism. Ah +no, Peter; that exceeding sorrow in the garden, when no visible hand +was upon him, was a cup the least drop of which would have overwhelmed +the strongest angel. No strength short of omnipotent could have +sustained that hour and power of darkness. It was not the scourge, the +thorns, the nails, nor the last pangs of dissolution; through all +these he was as a lamb led to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her +shearers, dumb. It was a mysterious horror, of which no created being +can have any conception. It was this that wrung the great drops of +blood through every pore of his sacred body--this that extorted the +agonizing prayer, 'Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from +me;' and again, in his last moments on the cross, 'My God, my God, why +hast thou forsaken me?' Blessed, for ever blessed be our Jehovah +Jesus, who said, 'Not my will, but thine be done.' The will of God was +done, and he said, 'It is finished,' and gave up the ghost. + + "All his people must follow him by the way of death; nearly all +his disciples followed by the death of the cross, and many others +after them, supported by his almighty grace, rejoiced that they were +counted worthy to suffer for his sake; but they drank not of that cup. + + "Some of his people, for holy and wise purposes, have had a taste +in the hiding of God's face, but no curse; that he himself drank to +the last drop: He trod the wine-press alone, and of the people there +was none with him. By his own death he destroyed him that had the +power of death, and secured victory to all his followers: he changed +its aspect from that of the king of terrors to that of a welcome +messenger from their redeeming God, to conduct them to those blessed +mansions which he has purchased and prepared for them; neither will he +leave them alone with that messenger: 'And if I go, I will come again +and receive you to myself, that where I am, there ye may be also. I +will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you. The world seeth me +no more, but ye see me; because I live, ye shall live also. Let not +your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' Amen. 'Come, Lord +Jesus.' + + "'Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast +thou opened: burnt-offering and sin-offering hast thou not required. +Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of +me, I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is in my heart.' +Psalm 40:6. 'Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and +burnt-offerings and offering for sin thou wouldst not, neither hadst +pleasure therein--which are offered by the law--then said he, Lo, I +come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may +establish the second. By the which will we are sanctified, through the +offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. This man, after he +had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right +hand of God. For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that +are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for +after that he had said before, 'This is the covenant that I will make +with them after those days,' in consequence of Christ's doing the will +of God, fulfilling all righteousness: 'I will put my laws into their +hearts, and in their minds will I write them; and their sins and +iniquities will I remember no more. Now, where remission of these is, +there is no more offering for sin. Having, therefore, boldness to +enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way, +which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, +his flesh; and having a High-priest over the house of God; let us draw +near with a true heart, in full assurance of faith, having our hearts +sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure +water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; +for he is faithful that promised.' Hebrews 10:8-23; 8:10. Again, 'The +Lord sware, and will not repent; thou art a priest for ever after the +order of Melchizedek. By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better +testament; because he continueth ever, and hath an unchangeable +priesthood. Wherefore he is able to save them to the uttermost that +come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for +them,' Heb. 7:21-25. 'Christ glorified not himself to be made a +high-priest, but He that said unto him, Thou art my Son, to-day have I +begotten thee; as he saith also in another place, Thou art a priest +for ever after the order of Melchizedek.' Heb. 5:5, 6. 'For the law +maketh men high-priests which have infirmity; but the word of the +oath, which was since the law, maketh the Son, who is consecrated for +evermore.' Heb. 7:28. 'The word which God sent unto the children of +Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ: He is Lord of all. How God +anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power; who +went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the +devil; for God was with him. To him give all the prophets witness, +that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive +remission of sins.'" Acts 10:36-38, 43. + + + How well she was qualified to give instruction to young +disciples, will appear in the following letters to two, who died +shortly after of consumption. + + + To Miss Van Wyck, New York. + + "ROCKAWAY, 1810. + + "MY DEAR, MY BELOVED ELIZA--Mr. and Mrs. B---- are here on a +visit for one night. I did not expect to see them so soon, or I would +have had a letter ready. I expect another opportunity in the course of +a few days, when I will send you a long letter, from my heart, and, I +hope, dictated by your and my Teacher. + + "I learn by my children that you continue much in the same way in +which I left you. It is your own God who mixes your cup, and it is to +you a cup of blessing; there is no curse in it. Your Jesus drank that +cup to the very dregs, that bitter as well as sweet might be to you a +cup of blessing. O then, my darling, hold fast by your Redeemer: he is +the Lord your righteousness, and the Lord your strength; he connects +your profit with his own glory. You shall in this protracted +affliction manifest it, and hold out the word of life to those around +you.* You shall witness for him that he is the Lord, and besides him +there is no Saviour--that he gathers the lambs in his arms, and +carries them in his bosom--that he is to them a hiding-place from the +wind, and a covert from the tempest--as rivers of water in a dry +place, and as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. That it is +he that teacheth them to profit, and leadeth them by the way that they +should go, and that in due time he will perfect all that concerns +them. Farewell. + +*This prediction was remarkably fulfilled in the experience of + this dear young saint; an interesting account of whose illness + and death was published in the Christian's Magazine, and + afterwards as a Tract. + + "Yours with affection, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + To the same. + + "ROCKAWAY, Sabbath, 1810. + + "MY DEAR, MY BELOVED ELIZA--I wrote you a few lines yesterday by +Mr. B----. I now propose to fulfil my promise. I expect an opportunity +to-morrow or next day, for I saw a great many carriages pass this way +to the tavern, as I suppose, from New York. It is a common thing with +some to come here on Saturday and return on Monday, to spend this +blessed day in pastime. You would not, I know, exchange situation's +with them; you would rather be suffering than sinning. + + "It is your own observation that God does all in wisdom; in this +wisdom he is pleased to lengthen your day of affliction. Sin, my +darling, is the cause of all suffering; but is not always the +_immediate_ cause. Besides particular chastisement for particular +sins, there are afflictions to be filled up in the body of Christ--his +church--a measure of which, in kind and degree, is appointed by +unerring wisdom to each individual member. Col. 1:24. These sufferings +bear no part in atoning for sin, nor in redeeming our forfeited +inheritance. Christ trod the wine-press alone, and of the people there +was none to help him. He was made sin for us, who knew no sin, that we +might be made the righteousness of God in him; who when he had by +himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on +high. Heb. 1:3. Again, 'And every priest,' in the Levitical law, +'standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same +sacrifices, which can never take away sins: but this man, after he had +offered _one sacrifice_ for sins for ever, sat down on the right +hand of God. For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that +are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost is also a witness to us; for +after he had said before'--see from verse 5--'This is the covenant +which I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord; I will +put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; +and their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. Now, where +remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.' Heb. +10:11-18. Paul says the Holy Ghost is a witness, because he copies +from the ancient Scriptures the prophecies of Jer. 31:31, and Ezek. +36:25, and from Psalm 60:7. Your mother will read to you also the +eighth chapter of Hebrews, containing the same things, the new +covenant, in consequence of Christ, as the surety of sinners, having +made full atonement, magnified the law, and made it honorable; +therefore there is now no condemnation to them who are in +Christ Jesus. + + "It has pleased God, my darling, in the adorable plan of +reconciling sinners to himself by Jesus Christ, to perfect at once a +justifying righteousness for them, and to bestow it upon them as a +free gift. 'This is the record, that God hath given to us eternal +life; and this life is in his Son.' 1 John, 5:11. But it has not +pleased him to deliver us at once from depravity; provision is made +for final deliverance by the same covenant, and is effected by the +same power: but in this believers are called to work. It is evident +from Scripture, and the experience of Christians answers to it, that +in the hour of believing they pass from death to life, considered as a +state. This is the hour of the new birth: they then receive life for +the time, and it is their privilege, by the constitution of the new +covenant, to ask and receive, from day to day, grace to help in every +time of need. To them, and not to the unregenerate, the exhortation is +addressed, 'Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for +it is God who worketh in you, both to will and to do, of his good +pleasure,' The means are of God's appointing, in the diligent use of +which they go from strength to strength. The grand means is faith in +God's promises, of which there are very many in the Scriptures. +Believers are to put forth their own exertions, as the children of +Israel were called to go out against their enemies, in the faith that +God would give them victory and lead them to their promised rest. The +battle was the Lord's, and he fought for them; but the means were +their exertions. Believers are God's workmanship; but this work he +carries on by exercising their natural powers, which he sanctifies to +a different end from that to which they were formerly by their own +spirit directed. Still, the Scripture testifies that if any man say he +has no sin, he deceives himself, and the truth is not in him; and +while sin remains, its consequence, suffering, must. The judgments of +God, as the moral Governor of the world, are denounced against, and +executed upon the workers of iniquity. The children of God experience +personal chastisements for personal sins, as a provision of the +covenant. Psalm 89:30. And, if I mistake not, there are afflictions +experienced by individuals, as members of Christ's body, in which God +does not bring into view the personal sins of the sufferer. In this +sense I read Paul's epistle to the Colossians, 1:24: 'Who now rejoice +in my sufferings, and fill up that which is behind of the sufferings +of Christ in my flesh, for his body's sake, which is the church.' 'I +sent Timotheus to establish you, and to comfort you concerning your +faith, that no man should be moved by these afflictions; for +yourselves know that we are appointed thereunto.' 1 Thes. 3:3. 'Yea, +if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy +and rejoice with you all; for the same cause do ye joy and rejoice +with me.' Phil. 2:17. 'And whether we be afflicted, it is for your +consolation and salvation; or whether we be comforted, it is for your +salvation and consolation.' 2 Cor. 1:6. There is no conscious personal +sin expressed in these sufferings; on the contrary, Paul says, 'For +our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in +simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the +grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more +abundantly to you-ward.' 2 Cor. 1:12. + + "Most of the prophets and apostles suffered martyrdom. They +indeed sustained public characters, but the beggar Lazarus, who, in +addition to poverty, was full of sores, was carried by the angels from +the rich man's gate to Abraham's bosom. And thousands and tens of +thousands of redeemed highly sanctified ones have suffered lengthened +martyrdom, and perished with hunger, in holes and caves of the earth, +unknown in history, except in groups--unseen at the time, except by +the eye of the omniscient Jehovah, by whom the hairs of their head are +numbered; their tears are in his bottle; nor shall one sigh nor one +groan perish without its result. + + "O my Eliza, what delightful wonders shall open to our view when +delivered from these prison-holds of earth. + + "I have finished one sheet, my dear Eliza; I fear it is too much, +and may prove too fatiguing, especially as there are many references +requiring a stretch of attention. I have been reading the epistle to +the Hebrews, and you have naturally got my thoughts on part of it. + + "I remember once of your complaining that you had made small +progress in knowledge, in comparison of a young person that had just +left you; but you checked yourself, and said, 'The Lord has given me +faith, let me be thankful.' I at that time considered your departure +as very near, and advised you to keep your eye fixed on Christ, as +your Redeemer and Saviour, who had performed all things for you, and +would perfect all that concerned you; and added, one hour in heaven +will make you wiser than the most enlightened saint on earth. Since +that it has pleased your Lord to add many days to your life. He has +mitigated your pain, and given you some intervals of ease and +composure, and our dear Eliza has grown in that time. Should it please +God to spare you for a yet longer season, and continue your intervals +of ease, no subject can be so profitable; and I hope your Lord will +make it pleasant as that of the contents of the New Testament, which +your Saviour bequeathed to you, sealed and ratified in his blood. +There is a vast variety of precious promises contained in the +Scriptures of the Old and New Testament, which are all yours with +Christ; for, as a member of his body, 'you are built upon the +foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being +the chief corner-stone.' And now I commend you to your own covenant +God, who does and will support you, through life and through death, to +that happy land where we shall all meet; and Oh then, eye hath not +seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the +things he hath prepared for them that love him. + + "I am, with much love and affection, yours, + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + To Mr. James Todd, New York. + + "ROCKAWAY, Long Island. + + "MY DEAR JAMES--This will probably be handed you by our mutual +friend Mrs. C----. The thought of her being with you, makes me part +with her with less reluctance. You have not been forgotten by either; +we have talked much of you, and have united in prayer to your and our +God, that he may manifest himself unto you as your reconciled Father +in Christ Jesus; and give you 'joy and peace in believing'--that he +may give you patience in suffering, and entire resignation to his most +holy will. + + "It has, my dear young friend, been my earnest inquiry, +especially of late years, standing on the brink of eternity, 'What is +there within us, or without us, on which a sinner can rest in a dying +hour?' If it be a holy life, there is no peace for me. Taking the law +of God for my rule, backslider is my name; yet peace I have found, and +on the best Security; this blessed Bible is my charter. I have +searched it with diligence and prayer, and my mind is confirmed in the +following truths: That the whole world is become guilty before God, +and is under his wrath and curse on that account. This is our state: a +miserable state it is, and as hopeless as miserable, for any thing we +can do merely of ourselves. But I read in this Bible to the full +amount of the following conclusions--that in the counsel of the +mysterious Triune Jehovah, Jesus Christ, the second person of the +incomprehensible Trinity, was sanctified, or set apart to become the +Saviour of law-condemned sinners, to take their nature upon him, +comply with the requisitions of the eternal immutable law of God, and +become their surety. Man is a rebel, it is put to his account: a +penalty is incurred--He, as their surety, is made liable. Are they +again to be made heirs of eternal life? Perfect obedience is the +condition--and of Him, as their surety, it is demanded. All this being +fulfilled, sinners are become his property: he has paid their debt, +and merited for them eternal life, all in their own nature, as their +Head and representative; so that believers are complete in him. This +is the righteousness of God, wrought out by Jesus Christ, in his own +person, God-man, as their surety. To this nothing of the believer's is +to be added--with this nothing of his mixed; it is for ever perfect; +entirely distinct from that holiness of heart and life which is +wrought in him in consequence of this. God has declared himself well +pleased with this righteousness, and that being himself reconciled, he +is in Christ Jesus reconciling sinners to him. + + "Hence all the invitations scattered thick in the Old and New +Testament, not only to the penitent, weary, and heavy laden, but to +the stout-hearted, the backslider, to them that are wearying +themselves in their own way. 'Ho, every one that thirsteth'--'Whosoever +will, let him take the water of life freely,' Hence all the promises +annexed to believing, accepting, receiving, trusting, resting: Christ +the Saviour is the object--the gift of God to sinners for all the +above purposes. The Lord has convinced me that I have nothing in +myself on which I can rest; my conscience echoes to his word in all +that it asserts of my nature and my state; but this Saviour is +provided for sinners exactly of this description. I am invited to put +in my claim, I believe the record, I rest my salvation on his word; +God giveth to me eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Jesus +calls me to look unto him, and be saved; I do look unto him, and I am +saved. He assures me that those who come unto him shall never be cast +out. I do go to him and commit my sinful soul to his keeping; I shall +not be cast out. As many as receive the gift of his Son, receive at +the same time power to become the children of God. I do receive his +gift, and lay claim to his promise. He is my reconciled Father, and I +am his adopted child, and he hath sent his Spirit into my heart, by +which I can say, Abba, Father. + + "I have, my dear James, taken this method of laying before you +the grounds of my own hope, because I think it the most simple method, +and containing at the same time my counsel to you to lay hold on the +same hope. The warrant is given us in God's own word, as sinners, +without respect to fruit or any works of ours. I can, if necessary, +give you chapter and verse, to the full amount; but you have those +about you who can give it to you by little and little, as your weak +state can bear it. This gift is held out to the sinner's acceptance in +many places of the word of God, and becomes the sinner's in the moment +of believing. Provision is made by the same covenant for his +sanctification; but that makes no part of justifying righteousness. +Christ is made of God unto him wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, +and redemption. Try, my precious young friend, to lay hold on this +hope, and enter into the rest provided for the believer here. Stretch +forth 'the withered hand,' the Lord himself will give you strength. +Commit your precious soul into his hands, and rest assured that he +will perfect all that concerns you--work all his work in you--carry +you safely through the Jordan of death, and put you in possession of +the inheritance he has purchased for you. That all this shall be, +is the prayer and firm hope of + + "Your affectionate friend, + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + The two following extracts, addressed to Mrs. C----, near Boston, +present a very gratifying view of Mrs. Graham in her advanced years, +and may well awaken the desire not only to die the death, but to enjoy +the "fruitful old age" of "the righteous." + + + "I have, as you know, enjoyed much in life, enjoyed its dearest, +sweetest comforts, love and friendship, with a heart tremblingly alive +to both. Lover and friends of youth are long since gone, other +friendships I have formed, and have been happy even in these; now I am +shut up with ails and aches. The world, properly so called, is a dead +blank to me; yet I do think I never enjoyed life more. I would not +exchange my present happiness for the most transporting moments of my +life--of which I have had a large share--though thousands of years +were added to enjoy them. I do not mean barely that happiness which +consists in the anticipation of pleasure beyond the grave; that is +indeed delightful; but I enjoy life now. Books of taste are mine no +more: still less those of science and history; but my dear Bible; +precious subjects; my dear Saviour. The height, the depth, the +breadth, the length of the glorious plan of redemption open to my +delightful perception more and more, and the Spirit witnesseth with my +spirit, that I have my part in it by the gift of _faith_. I +believe the record, that God giveth to us eternal life, and I put in +my claim as a sinner. I account it a 'faithful saying, and worthy of +all acceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save +sinners, of whom I am the chief,' I still enjoy the ordinances of the +gospel: my memory, as you know, is much impaired: I recollect very +little of the sermons I hear; but I think I never heard with so much +attention. I am delighted, instructed, and fed at the time, and the +subjects open to me without my being able to recollect the order or +the words of the speaker. O let me recommend this dear Lord to your +heart and confidence; commit all your concerns to him; mistrust no +part of his providential dealings with you; his wisdom shall manage +for you, and you shall one day say, 'He hath done all things well.'" + + + "MARCH, 1811. + + "I am daily on the lookout; one year and three months will +complete my threescore and ten. I do not know one individual alive +whom I know in my school-days; it has been the case for many years. I +do not long for my dismission, neither am I tired of life; but nothing +in this world, unless closely connected with another, interests me; +and Oh, I am tired of sin; still it cleaves to me; in all things I +come short, and many duties neglect altogether; for I still have a +considerable, share of health, and might do some good, had I will +equal to my opportunities; as to the power, it is not in me, but I +know I have it in my blessed Head, and for the asking. I cannot but +long to be delivered from sin, and sinful apathy in particular; for +really my heart must be wickedly fertile, to find out opportunities of +moral transgression. Food and raiment are mine without care; my +children, under God, care for me. I have my dear little room, my +Bible, and books founded on it. I have a dear pastor and Christian +friends, lively ordinances, and also much of the Lord's presence at +times; my cup runs over with blessings, but my gratitude bears no +proportion; my zeal for the glory of God and the good of my +fellow-sinners seems buried under self-indulgence and apathy. O that +the goodness of the Lord may lead me to repentance. + + "And now, my dear friend, let me know how it is with you and your +dear family. The severe winter is past; how have you got along? with +what temporal comfort, and how has the Lord dealt with your soul? Has +the barrel of meal or the cruse of oil failed? Does the opening spring +cheer your spirits, and furnish a song of praise? Does it find you in +a situation to dig your garden, sow your seeds, and make provision for +future comfort? Has the Lord turned your captivity, and dried up the +bitter waters that flowed against you? How are your eyes, after all +the briny tears that have steeped them? How are your poor nerves, +after all the shocks that have agitated them? All these things have +been on my mind; but from my long silence, you cannot believe it. What +are we all, but broken reeds, which pierce the hand when laid hold of +for support? There is but one Friend to poor, fallen, miserable man, +in the universe. He is mercy; he is goodness; he is truth; he is +wisdom; he is unchangeable, and never will fail you: take him to your +heart; give it all to him; he only is worthy, no other is." + + + Her friend Mrs. C---- had now experienced new trials, by which +she was again plunged into the depth of despondency. In the following +we have a noble effort of Mrs. Graham's mind and heart to raise her up +to "sit in heavenly places in Christ Jesus." + + + "JUNE 27, 1811. + + "I received my dear friend's letter this day week, and have been +answering it ever since. Never was I in such a strait. It contains the +effusions of disappointed hopes and anticipations of sore evils; +indicates a soul deeply wounded, and taking in Christian principles +under temptation. Where shall I begin? I have laid it before our +compassionate High-priest, I have requested direction. Assist me, O +thou blessed Comforter, whose office it is to convince of sin, as well +as to minister consolation. Do both, from the heart and by the pen of +thy handmaid. + + "It appears to me salutary to call your attention first to the +sovereignty of God. The silver and the gold are his, and the cattle on +a thousand hills; he gives them to whomsoever he pleases; he setteth +up one and putteth down another, doing whatsoever pleaseth him in the +armies of heaven, and among the inhabitants of this earth; none can +stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou? He attributes to +himself all events; men and other creatures are but instruments. Men's +wicked hearts impel them to commit evil, but the events are of the +Lord, which he overrules for his own glory, and for the good of his +people. 'Him being delivered by the determinate counsel' of God, ye +have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified him. Joseph said, 'Ye +thought evil against me; but God meant it for good,' 'to save much +people alive.' The Lord does not often, at the time, give his people +reasons for afflicting them, though they can often read them at an +after-period. + + "Job was a holy man; his afflictions from God's own hand were +very deep; the teasing unkindness and injustice of his friends made +great part of the temptation, and he spoke unadvisedly with his lips. +When God did appear, he did not answer his cavils, nor give him one +reason why he had dealt with him thus; but silenced him with views of +his majesty, power, and wisdom--of his own meanness and vileness, +though correct in his conduct beyond most others. I believe he spoke +truth when he said, 'I delivered the poor that cried, and the +fatherless, and him that had none to help him. The blessing of him +that was ready to perish came upon me, and I caused the widow's heart +to sing for joy. I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame. +I was a father to the poor, and the cause which I knew not, I searched +out.' God allowed the weight of the trial to be upon his spirit, with +the conviction of his presumption, till he brought him to his feet. +'Behold, I am vile, what shall I answer thee?' 'I will lay my hand +upon my mouth.' 'I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.' These +things were written for our example and profit. + + "This afflictive providence is now finished, at least so far. +What you now possess is the allotment of your God. Set all instruments +aside and listen to the Holy Ghost: 'Humble yourselves under the +mighty hand of God, and he shall exalt you in due time.' In order to +this, I would recommend to you to take a close, retrospective view of +your past life, with earnest prayer that God would search you and try +you, and show you what wicked ways have been or now are in you. Go +back to the days of your youth; take a close view of the use you made +of affluence and influence; not comparing yourself with others, but +judging yourself by the law of God, the only standard of right and +wrong, truth and error. Seek for humbling views of yourself in +yourself. If the Holy Ghost enlighten, you will find sufficient +grounds. Seek for consolation in the free promises of God, through +Jesus Christ, of which there are also abundance, even to the chief of +sinners. What I recommend to you has been my own practice, especially +in times of trial; and if health will admit of it, add fasting, +because I think it is the Lord's ordinance. 'The days shall come when +the bridegroom shall be taken from them, then shall they fast in +those days.' + + "Read the third chapter of Jeremiah's lamentations; endeavor to +come under the feelings of contrition on account of your sins, and +derive consolation from faith in God's great mercy; ever keeping in +view the only channel through which mercy can flow to sinners of +Adam's race. Take also a view of God's dealings with his elect nation, +in the wilderness: they had nothing but manna, and were punished for +murmuring; while at that very time the nations in Canaan, the +Egyptians, and Assyrians, were living in all manner of luxury. What +was their whole history but backsliding, threatening upon threatening? +then chastisement, turning, repenting, pardon, reconciliation, and the +same round again, every chastisement severer than the last, while +worldlings in general have their day to the end; then 'are they +brought into desolation as in a moment.' I wish you to take a +particular view of God's dealings with them, before Nebuchadnezzar +sacked the city of Jerusalem. The decree was passed after many +warnings, and much long-suffering. How many pauses, as it were, did +the merciful Lord God make before he gave them finally up to their +enemies; and when the decree was irrevocable, and the chastisement to +take place, still he followed them with mercy. See Jeremiah 27:12; and +chapter 29, the letter which God commanded Jeremiah to write to those +who had been carried away captive with Jehoiakim, advising them to +build houses and plant vineyards, and to make the most of their +situation. Those at Jerusalem were commanded to submit to the king of +Babylon, as in that case he would not destroy the city; but no, they +stood it out, and the threatened vengeance overtook them. + + "The poor were left to take care of the vineyards. Jeremiah +remained with them in preference to going with the king of Babylon to +be promoted to honor. God offered to take them under his protection +and be their God: but no, they would go to Egypt, and put themselves +under the king of Egypt's protection. Jeremiah told them from the +Lord, that Egypt itself should soon go into captivity. But to Egypt +they went and carried Jeremiah with them. See Isaiah's prophecy on +this occasion, chapter 30:1-4. Now look at chapter 42:24; there you +see God's judgment and chastening; follow him in the beginning of +chapter 43, and view his mercy; in the end of the same chapter, again, +see his charge against them, but it is followed, with mercy, +not judgment. + + "Thus we learn the character of God. Thus we learn his dealings +with his people. They are not called to earthly comfort and +prosperity. They ever have been, and still are a suffering people; +they are all sinners--sin brings suffering, and God overrules +suffering, so as to make it profitable to them. Though redeemed by the +life and death of Christ, being justified by faith, they have peace +with God; yet the Lord has not pleased all at once to qualify them for +the purchased possession. They receive a new birth, new life, and are +called to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling, with +this consolation, that God worketh in them both to will and to do of +his good pleasure. This is not their home, here they have no +continuing city; they are travelling through the wilderness, to the +city and mansions purchased and prepared for them by their Saviour, +and must be made holy before they can enter in. They have many +corruptions to be mortified, and many errors in their estimation of +men and things to be corrected. Their hearts require to be made +spiritual, humble, tender, resigned, and loving. 'Who fed thee in the +wilderness with manna--that he might humble thee, and that he might +prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end.' + + "Besides, all suffering is not the immediate punishment of sin in +the individual sufferer, nor for his exclusive profit; it is evident +from Scripture, there is suffering for the benefit of the body of +Christ, _his church_, of which, I think, all have some share. God +has wise ends to answer by all the suffering of his creatures, and +especially of the members of his body. The apostles rejoiced in this, +and so ought we. 'If we suffer with him, we shall also reign with +him.' Paul says, 'I fill up in my flesh that which is behind of the +sufferings of Christ, for his body's sake, which is the church.' + + "Now, my dear friend, look at your real situation, as a suffering +member of a suffering body. Take a view of the saints of God in +history, sacred or profane, and compare your own individual suffering +with theirs: I am apt to think that, great as it is, it will not rise +to mediocrity. I could expatiate on this subject, from what comes +every day within my own knowledge. The Lord is working in this way all +around me; but of that another time. In your own case, try for a +moment to shut out of view every thing without your own family, what +you once were, what you once possessed and enjoyed; also what your +friends possess and enjoy at this present time; detach yourself from +all. What was yours is gone; what you calculated upon is also gone; +set all aside, and consider yourself a sinner saved from destruction +by grace; in a state of purgation and preparation for happiness; on a +pilgrimage with thousands of others your fellow-saved sinners, through +the wilderness, to that inheritance which was purchased for you at +_such a price_. Your Saviour is your leader, protector, provider; +also your physician, and the physician of the whole body, perfectly +acquainted with the constitution, disposition, and temper of every +individual. He has made provision for each, all the journey through, +and given security that none shall suffer _real_ want. + + "Bread and water are promised; nothing beyond these, though in +general he gives more; to each he gives a portion in hand, to some for +a day, some for a week, some for a year, which they calculate upon +with more or less probability: none with certainty. Your portion +is--for a year; take a view of those whom you know; one with another, +I am inclined to think the Lord has still given you your full share of +privilege. Look at the ordinary provision he makes for the ministers +of his gospel, most of them with large families; many of those in the +country have five hundred dollars, some four hundred, some three +hundred, generally ill paid. The Lord puts a blessing in it, he makes +it go far; they do what their hands find to do, and get along: so will +he do with you, my dear. He will put you upon methods of industry and +economy: your one chicken divided into six parts, with a little bit of +pork, with the fruit of God's blessing on your industry in the garden, +shall both taste sweet and satisfy for the time. Try to be thankful; +Moses said of the manna, 'This is the bread which the Lord your God +giveth you.' Pray and watch against dwelling on the plentiful tables +of others; and when bidden to a feast take your portion, and say, this +is from the Lord for the time. Do not let a thought of misery or +wretchedness dwell upon your mind. O no, God is good; you shall not +want. O, what sweet meals have I and my children made on hot potatoes, +nicely boiled and cracked, with salt--not merely content, but they +tasted good and savory. There are peculiar pleasures in a life of that +kind. You shall yet sing of it. + + "Now, my dear friend, I have done with what I had to say on this +head. I have had great fears of wounding, lest you should reckon me +among Job's friends; but you call me mother, and it is required of a +mother to be faithful. I now leave it with the Lord. We are delighted +to find you girding up the loins of your mind and setting about active +duty. Let us meet at a throne of grace, and look to the course the +Lord marks out for us." + + + To Mrs. G---- Y----. + + "MY DEAR MADAM--I have just parted with my dear afflicted friend +Mrs. C----; she left it in charge to me, that I should write to you in +the time of your affliction. Surely I would do any thing whatever that +I thought might alleviate either her or your distress. But there are +cases to which God alone can speak; afflictions which he alone can +console. Such are those under which the sufferer is commanded to be +'still and know that he is God.' He never leaves his people in any +case, but sometimes shuts them up from human aid. Their grief is too +great to be consoled by human tongue or pen. + + "Such I have experienced. I lost my only son; I neither know when +nor where; and for any thing I know, in a state of rebellion against +God. Here at my heart it lies still; who can speak to me of it? +neither can I reason upon it. Aaron held his peace. Old Eli said, 'It +is the Lord; let him do what seemeth him good.' Samuel in his turn had +his heart wrung by his ungodly son. David lamented over his beloved +Absalom; but it availed him nothing. Job's sons and daughters were all +cut off in one day; he himself lay in deep, sore bodily affliction; +his friends sat seven days and seven nights without opening their +mouths, because they saw his affliction was very great; and if they +spoke, it was to aggregate it; and when God himself spoke, he gave him +no reason for his dealings, but charged him with folly and madness. +'Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him? He that +reproveth God, let him answer it.' Then he laid his hand on his mouth, +confessed himself vile, and became dumb before God; abhorring himself, +and repenting in dust and ashes, instead of the splendid catalogue of +virtues enumerated in chapter 29, and complaints in chapter 10, which +I make not the least doubt were true, as far as human virtue can +reach; but if God charge even his angels with folly, shall man, +corrupt, self-destroyed man, plead merit before God? + + "But, my dear friend, I do not find in all God's Bible any thing +requiring us to acquiesce in the final destruction of any, for whom we +have prayed, pleaded, and committed to him; least of all, our +offspring whom he has commanded us to train up for him. Children are +God's heritage. I do not say he has given us any promise for the +obstinately wicked; but when cut off, he only requires us to be still, +to hold our peace. I do not think he takes hope from us. God has set +limits to our faith for others; our faith must not rest in opposition +to his threatenings. We must believe that the wicked shall be turned +into hell, and all that forget God; but he hath set no bounds to his +own mercy; in that glorious plan of redemption, by which he +substitutes his own Son in the stead of sinners, he has made provision +for the chief of sinners, and can now be just and consistent while he +justifies the ungodly who believe in Jesus. Short was the time between +the thief's petition and the promise of salvation; nay, the petition +was the earnest of it. The same was the case with the jailer; I think, +too, the publican had the earnest in his petition. Now, instead of +laboring to bring my mind to acquiesce in the condemnation of my +child, on the supposition of its being for God's glory, I try to be +still, as he has commanded: not to follow my child to the yet +invisible world; but turning my eyes to that character which God has +revealed of himself--to the plan of redemption--to the sovereignty of +God in the execution of that plan--to his names of grace, 'The Lord, +the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in +goodness and truth, forgiving iniquity, and transgression, and sin,' +while he adds, 'and that will by no means clear the guilty;' I meet it +with his own declaration, 'He hath made Him to be sin for us who knew +no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.' I read +also that 'mercy rejoiceth against judgment,' and many other like +scriptures, which, although I dare not ground a belief of his +salvation on them, afford one ray of hope after another, that God may +have made him a monument of mercy to the glory of his grace. + + "Thus God himself consoles his own praying people, while man +ought to be very cautious, if not silent, where the Scriptures are +silent, as it respects the final state of another, whose heart we +cannot know, nor what God may have wrought in it. God hath set bounds +to our faith, which can nowhere find solid ground to fix upon but in +his own written promise. Yet, as I said above, he has set no bounds to +his own mercy, and he has made provision for its boundless flow, as +far as he shall please to extend it, through the atonement and merits +of his own Son, 'who is able to save to the uttermost all who come +unto God by him,' Now, my dear friend, you have my ideas of our +situation; if they be correct, I pray that our compassionate Father +may comfort you by them; if otherwise, may he pardon what is amiss, +and lead you, my dear friend C----, and myself, to such consolation as +he himself will own as the work of his Spirit, and save us from the +enemy and our own spirit. + + "Since writing the foregoing, I feel afraid of what I have said; +it is dangerous seeking comfort where the Scriptures are silent; yet +while we plead with God to be preserved from error, and try to be +still before him, he will save us from the subtlety of the serpent, as +well as from the rage of the lion. I am, with love, + + "Your sympathizing friend, + + "ISABELLA GRAHAM." + + + "ROCKAWAY, September 10, 1811. + + "I have been here four Sabbaths. The first I spent at home, the +weather not permitting our going abroad; the second I spent at a +prayer-meeting with the Methodist brethren; the third we rode to +Hempstead, where I heard two plain gospel sermons from Mr. C----, +Presbyterian minister; and the last I attended at the Episcopal +church, same place; heard a good plain gospel sermon from Mr. H----, +and witnessed the dispensation of the Lord's supper. + + "To sing the praises of our redeeming God, and to lift up my +heart in prayer with my fellow-sinners, in the comfortable hope that +there are other living souls praising and praying with me, refreshes +me: to hear the word of God read, and to be led to meditate upon it, +however simple and common the exposition, also refreshes me. I am +generally led to pray much for minister and people; to consider myself +as one with them in Christ. However weak his natural powers, however +few or small his talents, if I have reason to think that he is taught +of God that which flesh and blood cannot teach, I desire to esteem him +highly for his work's sake. I thank God for the meanest and weakest +of such: I believe they never labor in vain. 'Out of the mouths of +babes and sucklings,' in talents as well as in years, God will +perfect praise. + + "In this new world, thickly settled in many places with natural +men 'eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage,' while the +flood of wrath is hastening to overwhelm them, and none to warn them +of their danger, nor point out the ark of safety; shall such men be +reckoned of none account, and their labors of no value? No, the wealth +of both Indies cannot balance their work; nor all the talents ever +possessed by fallen man, with all the orthodoxy which mere talents are +capable of acquiring, without that divine teaching which many of +those, thus contemned, possess. That same small discourse, those few +plain points, these same things repeated in the same way, contain +truths by which sinners may be saved, by which sinners shall be saved. + + "Suppose, for it is but a supposition, that these men have made a +mistake. They are the Lord's, and in their place by his providence. He +will be forth-coming for them, and without miracle. From him shall +their fruit be found, and his power be manifested by their weakness. +Exert your energies, ye gifted doctors of divinity; and may the Lord +prosper the means used to produce a ministry which shall render +attendance upon their ministrations the interest of both the +understanding and the heart. Persuade men who are adding field to +field, house to house, thousand to thousand, to provide a competent +maintenance for them. If these last remain obstinate, and it be idle +to hope that youths of talents without fortune, whatever be their +piety, will serve the church of God at the expense of devoting +themselves to infallible penury, and all the wretchedness which +belongs to it--is it wise to weaken the hands and discourage the +hearts of those ministers already settled pastors, or to furnish their +people with arguments in their own vindication for leaving them in +want and penury?" + + + In the year 1811, some gentlemen of New York established a +Magdalen Society: they elected a board of ladies, requesting their aid +to superintend the internal management of the Magdalen House. This +board chose Mrs. Graham their presiding lady, which office she held +until her decease; the duties attendant on it she discharged with +fidelity and zeal. In 1812 the trustees of the Lancasterian school +solicited the attendance of several pious ladies, to give catechetical +instruction to their scholars one afternoon in every week: and Mrs. +Graham was one of those who attended regularly to this duty. + + + + + CHAPTER XI. + + DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES AND CORRESPONDENCE. + + + "FEBRUARY 8, 1812. + + "'By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called +the son of Pharaoh's daughter; esteeming the reproach of Christ +greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he had respect unto +the recompense of the reward: choosing rather to suffer affliction +with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a +season.' Heb. 11:24. + + "All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer +persecution; the natural heart is enmity against God, and hates his +image wherever found. If individual Christians have the favor of +individual worldlings, it never is for their piety, that is rather +borne with than loved; and too often Christians save themselves from +reproach by unfaithfulness; that, alas, has been my sin and shame. In +all my friendships with worldlings, some of which have been tender, +how unfaithful have I been to friendship's highest office. How seldom +have I endeavored to rescue my friend from sin and Satan, by leading +her to the Friend of sinners, the source of happiness. Contenting my +vile, selfish heart, with things pertaining to this life unconnected +with that to come, leaving her under the influence of 'the lust of the +eye, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life;' without eyes to +see her danger, or friend to warn her of it; and while she +communicated with me in things common to both, in all the good she +knew, keeping back nothing from me of all she possessed; how often +have I concealed my richest treasure, without inviting her to the +participation. O, faithless friend! O, ungrateful, unfaithful--first +to that gracious God who opened mine own eyes, arrested ray attention, +stopped up my path, and turned me to the way of life; and next to +my friend, whom I have left to pursue that same way of death, +without attempting to lead her to this same sovereign, merciful, +gracious Deliverer. + + "And what withheld! Shame belongs to the heart governed by such +motives; fear of contempt, reproach, or, at most, the loss of a carnal +friendship. Of three such friends, now gone to their place, two +continued their worldly course to the last, so far as I know; for the +third the Lord provided a more faithful friend, who became worker +together with the Spirit of God, led her to the Friend of sinners, who +has compassion on the ignorant, and them that are out of the way, By +Him she was received, and in Him she found life, light, and peace. + + "She soon outran faithless me in the heavenly race; gently chid +me for my remissness, but continued my friend and helper. Ever +foremost in the race, humble and steady in faith, she looked not back, +nor halted. She has long since finished her course, received her crown +and reward of grace, and become fruit to the account of that friend +who supplied what was wanting in me. I rejoice with them both, give +glory to God, from whom their fruit was found, and take shame and +confusion for my part. + + "How many opportunities have I lost, and from the same sinful, +shameful cause. O my Redeemer, what can I say to thee? Words are +wanting to express my loathing of that vile, selfish cowardice. + + "Didst Thou, who art the Creator of heaven and earth, the +brightness of the glory of God, the express image of his person, and +upholder of all things, suffer shame, contempt, anguish, death for my +sake, that thou mightest redeem me from the second death, and purchase +for me eternal life; and do I shrink and turn away from the least +taste of thy cup, though the curse is extracted and a blessing +infused! + + "And after all this, art thou pacified towards me? I search in +vain for words to express the amazing grace. 'As the heaven is high +above the earth, so great is his mercy towards them that fear him, and +towards vile me, who can lay small claim to that character; yet, as +far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed my +transgressions from him. Bless the Lord, ye his angels, who excel in +strength, that do his commandments, hearkening to the voice of his +word. Bless the Lord, all ye his hosts, ye ministers of his that do +his pleasure; ye ministering spirits, sent forth to watch over and +minister to them who shall be heirs of salvation." + + + "FEBRUARY, 1812. + + "Dr. M----. 'Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of +the world,' John 1:29. + + "He dwelt chiefly on the substitution of the victim in the room +of the transgressor. When a victim was offered for an individual, he +was to lay his hand on the head of the animal, by the appointment of +God, as a token of his faith that his sins should be transferred to +the victim which suffered death in his stead, and that his sins were +forgiven and his person accepted. If the victim was for the whole +congregation, then the elders, as their representatives, were to lay +their hands upon the head of the victim, signifying the same faith. +Great was the subject of the plan of redemption: The Son of God +clothed with our nature, given and set apart as a propitiatory +sacrifice, the victim upon whom the sins of his elect were laid, and +he sacrificed in their stead. + + "The Lamb of God, which took away the sins not only of the Jewish +transgressors, but the sins of the elect out of every nation, kindred, +and tongue throughout the world--on this Lamb of God rests my own +individual hope for pardon and for acceptance. I lay my own individual +hand of faith on his dear head, confess my sin, and rely upon his +sacrifice for pardon and acceptance, through the atonement made by +himself, God's anointed Priest." + + + "SABBATH, April, 1812. + + "Dr. Romeyn. 'Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus +shall suffer persecution.' 2 Timothy 3:12. Gone as usual; but it came +home to my heart. I have not suffered persecution; and why? because my +life has not testified sufficiently against a sinful world. Alas, +alas! the world loves its own, and I have been so accommodating, to +say the least, as not to disturb it. 'The carnal mind is enmity +against God; is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be;' +but the world saw little in me of that image which they hate, and +enough of assimilation to balance that little. O my God, my +long-suffering, sin-pardoning God, thou knowest my vile cowardice; +with professors a professor of thy name, with worldlings a seeming +worldling. And now the season is past, the opportunity lost; the time +of life is arrived when the world itself expects to be abandoned. No +line of conduct in me will now reprove them; they account it wise to +look out for a better portion, when the world can no longer be +enjoyed; and through the deceitfulness of their own hearts, and the +suggestions of the ever-vigilant enemy of souls, may be hardened in +sin, by hoping to become religious in old age. O, let thy grace +prevent it. + + "The sinfulness, and O, the ingratitude of my past life rise in +magnitude every review I take of it. And what can I say? Father, +forgive. Yes, I dare say, Father, forgive. I dare say more, Thou hast +forgiven. This grief of heart proves that thou hast not sealed me up +in impenitence. Thou rememberest thy covenant with me in the days of +my youth, when thou didst draw me with the cords of love and the bands +of a man; and though no language can express my baseness and my +ingratitude, through all my backsliding life, thy covenant stands +fast. + + "'I remember, and am confounded, and will never open my mouth any +more because of my shame, now that thou art pacified towards me for +all that I have done. And I know that thou art the Lord. + + Contrition dwell within this breast, + That God within this heart may rest: + Shame and confusion flush this face, + And magnify this glorious grace. + Grace be my theme while I have breath, + And on my quivering lips in death. + Angels and fellow-sinners, say, + Will you not join me in this lay, + Now, and through heaven's eternal day? + + "Blessed Comforter, thou seest old age upon me, loss of memory, +and a desultory mind; I cannot retain even the substance of my dear +pastor's sermons. I thank thee for the food and refreshment at the +time, and often after for refreshing meditations on the same subjects. +I commit all to thee; keep them for me, and feed me with these truths +as thou seest I need. O be to me memory, judgment, presence of mind, +for order, regularity, and natural powers are gone. I rejoice in my +dear Saviour, who of God is made unto me wisdom, righteousness, +sanctification, and redemption. He shall perfect that which concerneth +me, and finish the work he has begun. Therefore I say, All is well." + + + "COMMUNION SABBATH, May 17, 1812. + + "Was much melted under a sense of indwelling sin, and the +deceitfulness of the human heart, and of my own heart in particular. I +have been. I think, much in the exercise of contrition for the sins of +my past life, and exercised in watching over my words, thoughts, and +actions; now that the Lord has delivered me from all necessity to +care, having every thing provided for me _necessary to life and +godliness:_ pleasant food and clothing both for body and mind; my +dear room, retirement, fire, candle, attendance; my precious Bible, +and precious, lively, spiritual ordinances; a faithful and beloved +pastor, who feeds me with truth: I taste it, and I am fed. I am, as +the Lord God merciful and gracious has awarded, under the constant +influence of shame and confusion for my highly aggravated +transgressions: but I also enjoy the full sense of pardon; being +justified by faith, I have peace with God through our Lord Jesus +Christ; and knowing that I have a 'great high-priest that is passed +into, the heavens, Jesus the Son of God,' I am enabled to hold fast my +profession, comforted by this, that I have not a high-priest who +cannot be touched with the feeling of my infirmities, but was in all +points tempted as we are, yet without sin. I dare come, not very +boldly, for I am under much depression, to the throne of grace, that I +may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Every time is +a time of need with me, for sin still dwelleth in me. I have peace +with God through my dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, but am at +constant war with myself. I plead thy promise, that thou wilt subdue +my iniquities, that sin shall not have dominion over me. And now, +Captain of salvation, I renew the fight, but it is depending upon thee +to fight for me, with me, and in me. I will set myself to watch, but I +shall watch in vain, if thou keep not the avenues of my heart, and the +door of my lips. O, clothe me with thy meek and lowly spirit." + + + "SABBATH, July 26, 1812. + + "Tired of the bustle of Rockaway, and having some subordinate +motives for returning home for a time, I embraced this season in +particular; having, in the compass of one week, Sabbath, Wednesday my +birthday, and the day set apart both by the General Assembly of our +church and the Governor of our state, for fasting, prayer, and +humiliation, besides lectures on the same evening. I returned +therefore on Friday, the 24th. + + "Dr. R---- preached from Psalm 27:1,'The Lord is my light and my +salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of +whom shall I be afraid?' + + "O my God, my merciful and gracious God, what can I say of thy +amazing, distinguishing mercy to me? Delivered from all these fears, +and able to adopt the text fully, I know of none who have more or +greater cause of fear as sinners. My transgressions have been of +_crimson_ and _scarlet_ hue. O my God, thou knowest them, +words cannot paint them. My Saviour, thou knowest them, for thou +baredst them; every jot and tittle was put to thy account, and thou +didst cancel all. O that garden, that cry on the cross! the effects +were seen on thy sacred body, but who can conceive the mysterious +horror which agonized thy sacred soul? But thou saidst, _It is +finished,_ and finished it is. Lamb of God, which takest away the +sins of the world, on thy consecrated head I lay the hand of faith, +confess my sins, pray for forgiveness, and believe that I am forgiven. + + "July 29th, my birthday, and the last day of the threescore years +and ten of my sinful life. What an, exhibition will that day produce, +when the secrets of all hearts will be laid open, all my actions and +all the springs of them. In all the myriads which shall appear at the +bar of God, will there be such a sinner--taking into view the early +grace manifested? + + "Born, I think, about the seventeenth year of my natural life; +previously instructed in the doctrines and precepts of the Scriptures, +as far as the natural mind can conceive, by pious parents and a +faithful pastor; with milk provided for my spiritual infancy, and +richer food set before me for my growth; the leaves of the new +covenant were opened to my view, and the fulness treasured in Christ +for my supply, to be asked, to be delighted in; and delighted I was, +and satisfied. But Oh, I forsook the fountain of living waters, and +hewed out broken cisterns, that could hold no water. Where can +language be found to depict my ingratitude, my madness, my folly; and +where to describe the long-suffering, the compassionate remonstrances, +the kindly, fatherly chastisements, the repeated pardons and +restorations of my gracious God in days of youth--aggravating my +renewed backslidings, bringing upon my sinful soul vengeance for my +inventions? What were the sins of Israel and Judah to mine? Mine were +committed after the great atonement was made; the adorable +High-priest, Jesus, had with his own blood entered within the veil, +and was set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty of the +heavens: the minister of the sanctuary, and of the true tabernacle, +which the Lord pitched, and not man. The new covenant was exhibited, +established on better promises, himself the Mediator. The new and +living way was consecrated to the holiest of all by the blood of +Jesus; a throne of grace was established, Jesus himself our Advocate +and Intercessor. We are now privileged to come boldly to a throne of +grace, that we may find grace to help in the time of need. O how +aggravated my sin above theirs, having such great and precious +privileges and promises, and a High-priest who can be touched with the +feeling of our infirmities, who was in all points tempted as we are; +who owns us as his brethren and sisters, yea, the very _members of +his body_, and his Spirit dwelleth in us. + + "I set apart the day for fasting and deep humiliation; took +another survey of my past sinful life; confessed particulars on my +knees, and made a fresh application to the blood of sprinkling which +cleanseth from all sin; took a fresh hold of his new covenant of +promise. 'This is the covenant that I will make with them after those +days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws in their hearts, and in their +minds will I write them, and their sins and their iniquities will I +remember no more.' Lord, do as thou hast said. I rest my immortal soul +on thy promise." + + + "JULY 30, 1812. + + "The day set apart by the General Assembly and State Legislature +for fasting and humiliation, confession of sin and prayer. + + "Our pastor read the second chapter of Jeremiah, a great portion +of which belongs to my own character as an individual; and is laid up +as part of that provision which is to support me through the last +stage in the wilderness, and through Jordan, over which I must shortly +pass; laid in as a proof of the amazing long-suffering of God, and his +readiness to forgive even the vile backslider in heart and life, as +proclaimed in chapter three." + + + "SABBATH, NOV. 22." + + "'Turn ye to the strong-hold, ye prisoners of hope.' Zech. 9:12. +My Jesus--my hope, my stronghold, my safety, my Saviour, my portion, +my life, my happiness--yes, my happiness, for safe I am and happy, +though sometimes in heaviness, for yet sin dwelleth in me, and in +others dear as my own soul; and though I know it is pardoned, and +provision made for pardon to the end, yet, O it is bitter, and bitter +let it be. I would not have it otherwise. Heal my depravity, O God; +take sin out of this heart; O fill it with love to thee, and to all my +fellow-sinners. My dear High-priest, it can be but a little further to +Jordan. My seventy years are run. Does not the ark of the covenant +appear, going before me? am I not called to decamp and follow after? O +my blessed, blessed High-priest, keep my eye fixed on thy person, and +let me the little further follow thee step by step, foot after foot, +without losing one mark all the way to Jordan; and there let me see +thee. Blessed ark of the covenant, roll back the waters of terror, +stand firm in Jordan, and bid me come unto thee, and set up the stones +of memorial in a song of praise in the midst of Jordan. + + "O then thy glory let me see, + Then cause thy face to shine on me, + And tune my heart, and tune my voice, + And language furnish to rejoice, + That all around may lend their tongue, + And sweetly join my dying song." + + + "SABBATH, December 8, 1812. + + "'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: +thou shalt stretch forth thy hand against mine enemies, and thy right +hand shall save me.' 'The Lord will perfect that which concerns me: +thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine +own hands.' Psalm 138:7, 8. + + "I will no longer mourn over loss of memory; I think the Lord has +more than made it up to me by his sensible presence while hearing and +applying the sermon to my heart at the time; not only so, he +enlightens my understanding; it opens more to the elucidations of my +pastor; and though I forget the words and the order of his discourses, +I am instructed in the knowledge of the subject and the Scriptures in +general. Shall I deny the grace of God through fear or pride? I see it +not to be my duty. Can I attribute any thing to myself? No; shame and +confusion of face belong to me, for my carelessness and idleness in +the use of means during health and strength of body and mind. Never +has God dealt with me as I sinned, but according to his own mercy, and +in a way of great sovereignty. Let me record his great goodness, his +tender mercies, and bless his name. + + "Old age is upon me, and some of its infirmities; my memory is +much impaired, and my mind in temporal things and subjects becomes +very desultory. Not so in spirituals: I think I not only hear and read +with more intense attention and prompt application, but my mind is +more disposed to meditation; and though I cannot remember much of the +sermons I hear, yet my mind is often furnished with happy and +profitable thoughts on the same subjects; and I find myself instructed +without remembering the instructions. This is evidently from the Lord. +It appears to me also that I have not lost the sensibility of youth. I +often shed tears, not only of compunction, but of gratitude. I seldom +commune without tears. I think much of death; am solemnized, but +not afraid. + + "As far as I know, my confidence rests upon a +surety-righteousness, exclusive of every thing in myself. I am not +conscious of self-righteousness; I have no complacency in any thing +ever done by me. I not only believe that in all things I come short, +and that sin is mixed in all I do, because God hath said so, but am +sensible of the particular depravity. It is my sincere desire to be +stript of every thing that is mine--sins and duties laid in one +heap--and to be clothed in the surety-righteousness of my Redeemer; +all that is mine put to his account, and all that he did and suffered, +as the Mediator and surety of the covenant, to mine. + + "I am afflicted with rheumatism, but God gives me patience, +disposes me to enumerate my many remaining mercies--eyes to read his +word and ears to hear it preached; hitherto such moderation of pain as +very often to be able to attend with fixedness. I have my room at my +own command, candle, fire, and attendance; and O, bless the Lord, my +soul, much of his sensible presence. In the night when my aches +prevent me from sleeping, he gives me some sweet hymn; I sing, my pain +is diverted, while my heart is melted and warmed under the +expressions, and I often drop asleep with the words on my tongue. + + "I am convinced that the provision I have laid in for my last +journey in the wilderness and through Jordan, is selected by the +influence of the Holy Ghost. He takes of the things of Christ and +shows them unto me; and while he keeps upon my mind my meanness, my +vileness, wrings my heart with the retrospect of my backslidings and +highly aggravated transgressions, he opens at the same time the leaves +of the New Testament and shows me my deliverance from punishment, the +redemption of my soul, and my translation into the kingdom of God's +dear Son: I weep and rejoice; I loathe myself, and clasping my Saviour +to my heart, am at a loss for words to express how precious he is to +my saved soul. + + "Jesus, I love thy charming name, + 'Tis music to my ear; + Fain would I sound it out so loud + That heaven and earth should hear. + + Yes, thou art precious to my soul, + My transport and my trust, + My Saviour, Shepherd, Husband, Friend, + No other good I boast. + + All my capacious powers can wish, + In thee doth richly meet; + Not to mine eyes is light so dear. + Nor friendship's self so sweet. + + Thy grace shall dwell upon my heart + And shed its fragrance there, + The noblest balm of all my wounds, + And cordial of my care. + + I'll speak the honors of thy name + While I have life and breath; + Then, speechless, clasp thee in my arms, + The antidote of death.' + + "Dr. M---- preached in the evening from Eph. 3:30: 'For we are +members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.' It was a rich +sermon; I enjoyed it at the time, but cannot recall it. Blessed +Spirit, keep it for me, and feed me with the substance of it, as I +stand in need. + + "Accept of my thanks, blessed Jesus; that through thy meritorious +life and death, I have an interest in the great whole. Accept of my +thanks, blessed Spirit, for thus taking the things of Christ and +showing them unto me. And accept of my thanks, Father of mercies, for +the gift of thy Son, and all these blessings in him. + + "'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who +hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places, in +Christ Jesus.' Amen." + + + "GREENWICH, Sabbath. + + "Heard Dr. Milledoler preach in the state prison to the convicts, +from Luke 19:10: 'For the Son of man is come to seek and save that +which was lost.' He addressed them as fellow-sinners, all being by +nature lost and dependent on the same means for recovery. + + "True, my heart accords. O Lord, thou knowest I stand in my own +estimation a sinner, the chief of sinners. These have added to their +sin against thee, breach against men, and are suffering the penalty. + + "My sins have been chiefly, though far from exclusively, against +God, and with many aggravations. That I was born in a Christian land, +of pious parents, who gave me religious instructions; brought up under +faithful, lively ministers, and in religious society; exposed to few +temptations but what arose from the corruptions of my own heart, are +aggravations, which, perhaps, many are mourning over, as heightening +the sin of unbelief in their unregenerated state. But the +aggravations--the painful remembrance of which mars my comfort and +covers me with shame and confusion even now, though I know that God is +pacified with me--are as far above these as the heavens are above the +earth. For in that Christian land, under those Christian parents and +faithful pastors, while yet young and tender, I was enlightened, +tasted of the heavenly gift, was made a partaker of the Holy Ghost, +tasted of the good word of God and the power of the world to come. I +was taken from the fearful pit and miry clay; my feet set upon the +rock, and a new song put into my mouth, even to the amount of, O +death, where is thy sting?--of redeeming love, pardoning grace, new +covenant mercy, I had 'joy and peace in believing,' But forgetting my +natural character, the extreme volatility of my spirits, my taste for +gayety; forgetting the danger of smothering the heavenly spark by +indulging to the utmost bound of lawful pleasure; forgetting my +continual need of fresh supplies of grace to preserve and feed that +new life which could not live on earthly food; forgetting the +deceitfulness of my heart, the injunctions of my Bible, I became cold, +negligent in the use of means, distant in prayer, lost enjoyment, and +my heart, naturally carnal and madly fond of pleasure, got entangled. +'The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life' +regained their power; other loves usurped the place of that Beloved +who had bought me with his blood, and betrothed me to himself; 'that +which came into my mind was, that I would be as the families of the +countries, to serve wood and stone.' Blessed be his name, he said, 'It +shall not be.' He brought me into the wilderness and pleaded with me, +caused me to pass under the rod, brought me again into the bond of +the covenant. + + "O how often hast thou wrought with me, for thy name's sake. One +self-willed step brought with it a train of consequences dangerous to +spiritual life, filling even the path of duty with pits and snares, +cutting me off from ordinances, pastor, parents, church, country, and +Christian society; placing me at the same time in the midst of carnal +delights; and every thing in my natural temper and dispositions was +congenial to them. What saved me? What in heaven or earth could save +me, but thy covenant? Truly thy covenant standeth fast; therefore I +was not lost in the vortex. But 'the Lord God, merciful and gracious, +long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving +iniquity, transgression, and sin,' kept his eye upon me; many a time +did he stop up my path. O from how many delusions of my own seeking; +how many snares and nets of my own weaving; how many pits of my own +digging, hast thou delivered me, when wandering, bewildered, on +temptation's ground, in the cloudy dark day. How often hast thou +sought me out; how often bound me up when broken, strengthened me when +sick, and fed me with judgment, and very, very often, thou madest +thyself known to me. I knew thy hand when it shook the rod, when it +arrested me on some mad career. I knew thy hedge, thy bar; saw not +only escapes, but my Deliverer: often paused, turned, and took fast +hold of thy covenant. I had no afflictions in those days, but every +pleasure lawful to be enjoyed, and natural to the heart of woman; but +no pastor, no church, no Christian society; yet God was there, my +Bible, my Doddridge, and other good books. And to my shame and +confusion this day, he was not, in the midst of all my idolatry, a +barren wilderness, nor a land of drought to me. I had many Sabbaths; +literally the Sabbath was a sign between my covenant God and me: ill +spent it often was, but not with company; it was spent in retirement. +The Lord did not leave me so far as to give up the Sabbath to the +world. Though my heart was incrusted, and spiritual life scarcely +discernible, sometimes the Lord met me, and strange to tell, not with +threatenings causing terror, but with compunction, melting, turning, +and ere the day was over, manifestations of pardon, though not joy; +for I was grieved at my ingratitude. + + "I did expect affliction long before it came, and my presumptuous +heart calculated upon the fruit being the peaceable fruit of +righteousness, and to take away sin; but still I held my way, gadding +about, drinking the waters of Sihor and the rivers of Syria, and +eating the worldling's dainties. Oh, Oh, at last it came; yes, it +came. Thou didst cut off the desire of my eyes with a stroke, and with +that made the world a blank to me. But O the stately steps of thy +providential mercy previous to that trying hour. O my God, I must ever +wonder and stand amazed at thy exuberant grace. In consistence with +thy covenant, thou mightest have struck me among these worldlings, in +that dry and barren land, where not one tongue could speak the +language of Canaan, nor bring forth from thy precious Bible the words +of consolation to my wounded and bereaved spirit; richly had I merited +this; but never, no, never hast thou dealt with me as I sinned. +Through the whole of my life, from the time that the Lord called me +out of darkness into his marvellous light--from the time that he first +led me to the Saviour, and enabled me to take hold of his covenant, +wanderer, backslider, transgressor, rebel, idolater, ingrate, and if +there be any name more expressively _vile_ and _abominable_, +that is mine. And from the hour of my birth, through the whole of this +refractory perverse life, 'the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and +gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving +iniquity, transgression, and sin,' has been, and now is, thy +name to me. + + "No, ye strong-built walls, ye grated windows, ye gloomy cells, +ye confine no such sinner as I. And did the Lord take vengeance on my +inventions? O no, _mercy_ preceded, _mercy_ accompanied +judgment; yea, it was all mercy, not vengeance. He brought me and my +idol out of that barren land, placed us under the breath of prayer, +among a dear little society of Methodists; he laid us upon their +spirits, and when the messenger Death was sent for my beloved, the +breath of prayer ascended from his bedside, from their little meeting, +and I believe from their families and closets. The God of mercy +prepared their hearts to pray, and his ear to hear, and the answer did +not tarry. Behold, my husband prayeth; confesses sin; applies to the +Saviour; pleads for forgiveness for his sake; receives comfort; +blesses God for Jesus Christ, and dies with these words on his tongue, +'I hold fast by the Saviour,' Behold another wonder; the idolatress in +an ecstasy of joy. She who never could realize a separation for one +single minute during his life, now resigns her heart's treasure with +praise and thanksgiving. + + "O the joy of that hour; its savor remains on my heart to this +moment. For five days and nights I had been little off my knees: it +was my ordinary posture at his bedside, and in all that time I had but +_once_ requested life. Surely the spirit of prayer and supplication +was poured out. The Spirit helped mine infirmities with groanings +which could not be uttered, leading me to pray for that which God had +determined to bestow; making intercession for my husband, according +to the will of God. + + "O sing unto the Lord a new song, for he hath done marvellous +things. His right hand and his holy arm hath gotten him the victory. +The Lord hath made known his salvation. His righteousness hath he +openly shown in the sight of the heathen. He hath remembered his mercy +and his truth toward the house of Israel. All the ends of the earth +have seen the salvation of our God." Psalm 98. + + + "FRIDAY, December. + + "Sermon from John 4:10: 'If thou knewest the gift of God, and who +it is that saith, Give me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him, +and he would have given thee living water,' + + "This is part of my provision laid in for my passage through +Jordan. Christ is the gift of God. Christ is the water of life; he is +this living water, and the bread of life _given_; given by God, +received by the sinner. Life and comfort are experienced, and fruit +produced is the evidence; but first of all, this gift must be known, +and the soul's need must be known; Christ, the anointed prophet, +taught this woman both, and no other could. 'Search me, O Lord, and +try me.' Hast thou not taught my soul its miserable and ruined state +by nature; its helplessness as well as misery? Hast thou not also +brought me to this living, life-giving water? Oh, hast thou not given +me faith to come, faith to drink; and have I not experienced its +solacing quality? Has it not satisfied my soul, and in some degree +allayed my thirst for carnal delights? Blessed Spirit, the gift of the +Father and of the Son, pour into my soul repeated draughts of this +living water; yea, be in me, according to my Redeemer's promise, a +well of water springing up to eternal life, and cause me to bring +forth fruit to the glory of the Father. + + "'Other foundation can no man lay, than that which is laid, +Christ Jesus.' + + "Do I, O my God, seek for or desire any other foundation? Are not +all my hopes for time and eternity built on this foundation? Is not +Christ all my salvation and all my desire? Do I not embrace thy +covenant just as it is, believing that thou givest unto me eternal +life, and that this life is in thy Son, whom thou hast given 'to be a +covenant of the people.' Iniquities prevail against me; but thou wilt +not only purge them away, but wilt subdue them. Sin shall not have +dominion over me, for I am not tinder the law, but under grace." + + + To Miss Walker, Edinburgh. + + "NEW YORK, 1812. + + "My dear Miss Walker, I think, is in my debt; but that is no +reason why I may not inquire after her health and welfare, and through +her, of that of her brother, sister, and other dear friends yet in +their pilgrimage. My dear, dear Mrs. Walker lives in my affections, +and surely what concerns her children can never be to me a matter of +indifference. Your dear brother's persevering kindness and tried +friendship have written gratitude in indelible characters on my heart. +'A friend in need is a friend indeed;' and such was he. I trust the +Lord has rewarded and will reward him. I have still in my possession +many dear remembrances of your worthy mother; her sensible, pious +letters, some of which have proved prophetic, are among my treasures. +What a lovely group presses upon my memory at this moment, united to +Jesus and to one another on earth, and the union is now perfected in +heaven. Your dear mother, Mrs. Brown, dear Mrs. Randall, and Lady +Glenorchy, all zealous for the welfare of the widow and orphans, whose +way lay peculiarly through Vanity Fair, and whose spirits were too +much assimilated to the wares there exhibited, and most unworthy of +all the care and pains they bestowed upon her. Tell my then dear +pastor the pilgrim is not lost; he will find her in the 18th chapter +of Ezekiel: he may remember that he and dear Doctor Erskine gave me +over to the Lord when leaving Edinburgh. Well has he kept the charge, +though I have not my part, after all the chastisements and charges +received. But he is 'the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, +long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for +thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' + + "I am now a happy Mary, enjoying the full sense of pardon and the +light of his countenance in the meantime, and the full prospect of +being soon with him, made like him, and capacitated to praise him. + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + "SABBATH, January 18. + + "Dr. R----. 'By grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of +yourselves: it is the gift of God.' + + "All is of grace, all is free gift, or we wicked, wretched +sinners, could have no interest in it. Thanks be unto God for his +unspeakable gift of Jesus Christ, given for a covenant of the people. +Thanks be unto God for the gift of faith, by which we apprehend this +covenant, and become interested in him, as the salvation of our souls. +Thanks be unto God for life to work; for new principles and new +motives, new desires, new hopes, new fears, and, in some measure, new +conduct. All of grace, and to the God of grace be all the glory. + + "Afternoon. 'Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither +let the mighty man glory in his might; let not the rich man glory in +his riches: but let him that glorieth, glory in this, that he +understandeth and knoweth me; that I am the Lord which exercise +righteousness, loving-kindness, and judgment in the earth: for in +these things I delight, saith the Lord.' Jer. 9:23. + + "O Lord, hast thou not taught me by thy word, by observation, and +by experience, that 'all flesh is grass, and all the glory of man as +the flower of grass?' Alas, how much have I gloried in even more +worthless and transient things; but thou hast put a worm in them, +which I hope has cut the roots, and they are in a dying state. O let +grace supplant them; let me now glory only in thee and thy blessed, +gracious, and well-ordered covenant. Do I understand and know thee, +that thou art the Lord which exerciseth righteousness, +loving-kindness, and judgment in the earth? Dare I say that I, worm +as I am, and a sinful worm, am the subject of this loving-kindness, +through the righteousness of Christ? Yes, I dare, by the constitution +of thine own covenant--the Covenant of the people, the Mediator, the +guarantee of the covenant of grace, which is all summed up in him. + + "When thou givest Christ, thou givest freely all the blessings of +the new covenant. + + "'And this is the record, That God hath given to us eternal life, +and this life is in his Son.' + + "I believe the record, and do understand and know that thou art +the Lord, etc." + + + "FEBRUARY 4, 1813. + + "My dear grandchildren J. and I. B---- waited on their beloved +pastor Dr. Romeyn, and professed their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ +as the Saviour of sinners and their Saviour, their desire to give +themselves to the Lord and to his church, and to be in all things +governed by it; to receive the seal of the covenant of grace, +commemorate the dying love of their Redeemer the next opportunity, and +swear allegiance to him over the symbols of his body and blood. + + "Glory to God for this fresh manifestation of his mercy and grace +to sinners. Not unto us, O Lord God, but to thy name be the glory. +Thou hast made a covenant with thy chosen, and with believers in him; +and thou hast, by thy Holy Spirit, drawn them to take hold of this thy +own covenant, and to give themselves to thee to be made the subjects +of it. And now, O Lord, remember thy own covenant, and do as thou hast +said: Put thy laws in their minds, and write them in their hearts, and +be unto them a God, and they shall be unto thee a people; be merciful +to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities remember +no more. Give them understanding to know and believe thy laws, +memories to retain them, hearts to love them, consciences to recognize +them, courage to profess and power to put in practice. O, grant that +the whole habit and frame of their souls may be a table and transcript +of thy law. Blessed Redeemer, gather these lambs in thy arms and carry +them in thy bosom. O, seal them with the Holy Spirit of promise. They +look forward to that feast of love which thou didst institute in that +same night in which thou wast betrayed into the hands of sinners. If +it may please thee, manifest thyself to them as thou dost not unto the +world. Blessed Shepherd, call these lambs by name; may they know thy +voice, rejoice to hear it, and follow thee. In all the preparatory +exercises speak to their hearts and commune with them in secret. O +give them some love-tokens, which they may never forget; and make +thyself known to them in the breaking of bread. Exercise their parents +with thankfulness and gratitude, and thine aged servant, to whom, in +an especial manner, belong 'shame and confusion of face,' while she +stands amazed at the stately steps of thy free, sovereign mercy and +grace to her, and to her children according to the flesh. Husband of +the widow, Father of the fatherless, Shield of the stranger, glorify +thy name, magnify thy grace: all these thou hast been to me; give +these parents deep humility, if they have received grace to be more +faithful than I; yet thy holy eye has seen much shortcoming in them +also. Glory to thy name for the grace in which they stand, and that +thou hast enabled them to train up these children for thee. Oh, let +this be a heart-searching time with us all; humble us, and exalt thy +name, and magnify thy grace. + + "O Lord, my covenant God, all my desire is before thee; is it not +that thou magnify thy grace in me and in my family? There are others, +Lord, and the residue of the Spirit is with thee. Put forth thy power +in the heart of I.G. S----, and compel him to come in. And Oh, my dear +I. S---- and her family; thou biddest me open my mouth wide. Lord, see, +there is much for thee to do. I praise thy name for what thou hast +done, and lay me at thy feet waiting for further manifestations of thy +mercy, thy sovereign mercy: I have no other plea. + + "Work with us, for thy name's sake, and with J. M----, for whom +my worthless prayers have been presented to thee, as also a member of +this family. O Lord, he is now gone out into the world; he is no +longer under the control of man; bring him under thy gracious control; +call him into thy kingdom of grace, and make him a willing subject in +the day of thy power. Father, glorify thy name." + + + "APRIL, Sabbath, 1813. + + "'Wherefore, laying aside all malice, and all guile, and +hypocrisies, and envyings, and all evil speaking, as new-born babes +desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.' 2 +Peter, 2:1, 2. + + "Blessed Spirit, thou hast convinced me of the indwelling of +every one of these, and also of my helplessness of myself to make +successful war against them. But Oh, hast thou not led me to the +Captain of salvation for armor, for strength, for wisdom, for power; +and is not my dependence for success on thy promise that sin shall not +have dominion over me; that thy grace is sufficient for me; that as my +day, so shall my strength be?" + + + "MAY 5. + + "'Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God, +through our Lord Jesus Christ.' Rom. 5:1. + + "Blessed, blessed, blessed doctrine; by no other doctrine can I +be justified and saved. Christ the gift of God, and faith the gift of +God. All, all is of grace. + + "I have shut my door, desiring to commune with God, but feeling +dull and lifeless, ask what shall I read? My Bible lies just at hand; +where shall I read? every part is good. I open and find it marked: 'My +prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time; O God, in the +multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.' Psalm +69:13. In an acceptable time--when? 'To-day if ye will hear his +voice.' Nevertheless, I am continually with thee; thou holdest me by +my right hand, and ever upholdest me, in the time of need especially. + + "'In the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy +salvation.' What is the truth of God's salvation? To be the property +of Christ by purchase, to have Christ made our property by the +Father's gift; to have the Holy Spirit sent into our hearts, to +enlighten our understandings, to govern our wills, to regulate our +affections and tempers, and to be in us 'a well of water springing up +into everlasting life.' Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, ours by gift and +by power; this. Oh, this contains all my asking for myself, for my +children and children's children, for nay friends and all dear to me. +Take us, O Lord, and in 'the truth of thy salvation' give thyself to +us; do all the needful for us, and glorify thy name." + + + "SABBATH. + + "'A certain man made a great supper, and bade many, and sent his +servants at supper-time to say to them that were bidden, Come, for all +things are ready. And they all, with one consent, began to make +excuse.' Luke 14:16. + + "Alas, such are our hearts, that we make idols even of the +blessings and bounties of providence; no room is left for Christ, +though without him every temporal good is under a curse, and our own +persons also. + + "O Lord, bless the gracious invitations given to perishing +sinners this day; the pathetic and tender remonstrances of thy +faithful servant. O, may many of the poor, the maimed, the halt, the +blind, from the streets and lanes of the city, and may many from the +highways and hedges, be compelled to come, that thy house may be +filled. And Oh, my gracious Father, let these careless ones, who are +my flesh and blood, be among the number. Hear, O hear the prayers +offered this day for poor, self-deluded, self-destroying sinners; +awaken them, O Lord, and sweep away all lying refuges, and, gracious +God, settle and establish these halters. O bring to the birth, and +give life and love and zeal to make a full profession to the glory of +thy powerful grace, and to the joy and comfort of fellow-members. Let +thy kingdom come." + + + "GREENWICH, June 11, 1813. + + "In my large light closet, within my airy, comfortable room; the +prospect from my windows such as I have ever delighted in, woods and +water, flower-garden and fruit-trees, and beautiful shrubs of various +kinds, all as much mine as if my own individual property by the laws +of the land in which I live; surrounded with books, and my children's +rich library at my command; enjoying rich gospel ordinances, under a +godly, gifted pastor, with pious, loving, sensible church-members; a +carriage to convey me, Sabbath and week-days, to places of worship; +children whose desire is that I may enjoy all these to the full +without care or trouble, they caring for me; with all these a large +measure of health, my eyes see my teachers, my ears hear their voice. +Why then these tears? Are they all for sin? Lord, search and see. Does +no wounded pride, no selfish hurt mix? Ah, Lord, thou knowest. I have +detected much, and mourn and weep on that account; but I fear there is +yet much lurking and working that I know not. + + "I have set apart the remainder of this day for fasting and +humiliation on account of past sins which I already know, and for yet +further search into what I know not of at present. Lord, give me +heart-searching exercises. Glory, glory, glory to Father, Son, and +blessed Comforter, that I am forgiven; thy Spirit witnesseth with my +spirit that I am forgiven. Thou hast given me faith in the truth of +thy testimony, that the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin--that +this is thy own provision for sinners--that Christ died for the +ungodly--that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us--that +Christ hath loved us, and given himself for us--that 'God so loved the +world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in +him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' These last words +came from thy own lips of flesh. Thou gift of God to a perishing +world, and to me, one of the most guilty in it, thou also saidst, 'He +that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.' Thy Spirit +witnesseth with my spirit, that to me it is given on the behalf of +Christ to believe in him. Phil. 1:29. Therefore I have everlasting +life. Him who was slain and hanged on a tree, 'Him hath God exalted to +be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance and remission of +sins.' From this exalted Prince I have repentance and forgiveness of +sin, and therefore I dare look at my sins: I look with grief, but not +with terror. Though forgiven, and though provision is made for +forgiveness, sin is still an evil and a bitter thing. + + "This day is set apart for mourning. I desire to search, to know +more of my vileness, that I may mourn yet more; that while my heart is +wrung for my ingratitude, the Lord may make it the means of crucifying +my sins, especially that which so easily besets me, that he will give +me the prayer of faith that they may be forgiven, and that I may be +delivered from their power in my heart; that I may be clothed with +humility, so humble that nothing can hurt me, wearing my Redeemer's +yoke, leaning upon him who was 'meek and lowly,' that I may find rest +to my soul. Now, Lord, assist me for the rest of the day" and let +to-morrow be the beginning of days." + + + "Ten o'clock at night. + + "The day is spent, and I look for the blessing. It has not been +spent so much in my usual way of retracing, confessing, and bewailing, +but with Owen on the subject of indwelling sin, of purification and +the, means appointed by God. The blood of Christ is the only effectual +means not only as atonement for sin, setting us free from +condemnation, but also for cleansing, as sprinkled on the conscience +by the Holy Ghost, and purging it from dead works. There are means in +which we are to exercise ourselves, depending on the Spirit for +benefit. We are to work in the faith that God works in us. +Mortification is one means, and though the mortification of the body +is perhaps one of the lowest, I think it is of divine appointment, +therefore not to be neglected. I have been also studying the death of +Christ, and his previous sufferings; the unbelief, the opposition, +contradiction, contempt, and cruel mocking which he endured; and his +meekness, patience, and submission under them; healing Malchus' ear, +praying for his murderers; that, as the children of Israel were healed +by looking to the brazen serpent, I may be healed by looking unto the +uplifted Jesus; the Spirit producing the effect. And as the woman with +the bloody issue was healed by a touch, exercising faith in the power +of Christ, so I may be healed by a look, exercising the same faith, +the Spirit producing the effect of conformity to his example, working +in me that meek and lowly spirit for which I have been praying. And +now, by grace communicated, I hope to watch over my spirit with more +success than formerly. I wait for thy salvation." + + + The following letter shows how Mrs. Graham persevered in her +endeavors to guide and benefit immortal souls as long as God gave her +powers to be employed. + + To Mrs. J. W----. + + "GREENWICH, 1814. + + "Did not the dove, my dear J----, get into the ark? Yes, Noah put +out his hand and pulled her in; both are types of Christ. He is the +Ark of safety from the flood of wrath that must overwhelm unbelievers. + + "I know not, my dear, the amount of that over which you mourn +with so much agony; I know not even if it be sinful, except in the +circumstances; you are conscious of sincerity, and you do not now wish +to draw back. We can, my dear, do nothing in our own strength; no, not +so much as think a good thought. To make any resolution without +dependence on God for strength to perform, is sinful; to make any vow +without a consciousness of our weakness and dependence on God for +strength to perform, is an aggravation of the evil. + + "I suppose my J---- has sinned; what then? If any man say he has +no sin, he deceives himself, and the truth is not in him. And if you +suppose that your sin in this is greater than many other sins with +their aggravations, you judge wrong. I think that any one +_deliberate_ sin, wilfully committed with a knowledge that it is +sin, is greater than yours in such circumstances. You are bound by +your vow, and God will enable you to perform it. Turn, my dear, to the +second chapter of the Acts of the Apostles, where Peter preaches to +the very murderers of our blessed Saviour, and charges the guilt upon +them, verse twenty-second; and again in verse thirty-sixth, 'Therefore +let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that this same Jesus whom +ye crucified, God hath made both Lord and Christ; and when they heard +this, they were pricked in their hearts.' Read on, my dear; Peter +exhorts even them to repent and be baptized in the name of Christ, for +the remission of sins. I make no doubt but many have made vows in a +rash manner; but, so far as I know, you have vowed only to serve the +Lord; this you are bound to do with or without a vow; and if the Lord +makes this vow the means of keeping you watchful and humble, and firm +in avoiding what you have vowed against, it will, by his overruling +Spirit, prove a blessing. + + "You 'do not know where to look for comfort!' To, Jesus, my dear; +not to yourself, nor to any creature. 'Look unto me and be ye saved, +all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.' Isa. +45:22. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' +Hosea 13:9; chap. 14. Take a view, my dear, of the character of God in +his dealings with his perverse Israel, after they had made the molten +calf, and sinned otherwise grievously against God. He, at the +intercession of Moses, forgave their sin, and proclaimed that +wonderful name, which to this day is the encouragement of convicted +sinners, and mine in particular. And the Lord passed by him (Moses) +and proclaimed, 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, +long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for +thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' And how can +God do this, whose law is, as himself, immutable; and who adds 'that +he will by no means clear the guilty?' Exodus 34:6. Look now to the +fifty-third chapter of Isaiah, where you will find your Redeemer +standing in your stead. In the thirtieth chapter is another amazing +display of God's forgiveness. The prophet begins the chapter with, +'Woe to the rebellious children!' and lays grievous things to their +charge till you come to the eighteenth verse, where he says, +'Therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious to you; +therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you; for the +Lord is a God of judgment, blessed are all they that wait for him.' +Once more look at the proclamation, Jeremiah 3:12. God has provided a +sacrifice of sufficient value to atone for our most aggravated +transgressions, and a righteousness answerable to the uttermost extent +of his holy law. Both are made over to the sinner by free gift. 'He +hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made +the righteousness of God in him.' 2 Cor. 5:21. _In Him_--He, our +surety, having fulfilled all righteousness for us, _as_ our +surety and representative. + + "You fear that it is not the hand of the Lord that is upon you. I +do think that it is, my J----. It is the peculiar office of the Spirit +to convince of sin, and I do think that he is at this time dealing +with your soul. But why look so much at your vow? you have sinned, my +J----, in heart, lip, and life. 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with +all thy heart.' O my J----, what prostituted affections, what misspent +time. While God says, 'Whether you eat or drink, or whatsoever you do, +do all to the glory of God,' what self-indulgence and self-will, +instead of self-denial. Listen to the voice of convictions, listen to +it as the voice of mercy, leading you to Christ the great propitiatory +sacrifice, 'the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.' + + "Go to Christ, my dear, as a sinner; tell him you commit your +sinful soul into his hands; say, Thou hast bid me look unto thee and +be saved. Saviour, I do look unto thee for salvation. Wash me in thy +blood, clothe me in thy righteousness, sanctify me by thy grace, +accept of me as thy pardoned, saved child; and be a surety for me for +good, that having vowed to thee that I would be thy servant, I may +perform my vow; furnish me with both will and power to devote myself +to thee every day of my life. + + "Try, my dear, to rest on Christ; put your trust in him; if you +do he will not disappoint you; as your faith, so shall it be unto you. +Now faith is a saving grace; thereby we receive and rest upon Christ +for salvation, as he is offered to us in the gospel. Do as you have +said: wait his appointed time, in the use of means, till he manifest +himself to you. I am hurried for time to get this to town. Farewell. I +will pray for you. + + "I. GRAHAM." + + + "1814. + + "'A day of darkness and gloominess, a day of clouds and thick +darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains.' Joel 2:2. + + "Not in temporals, nor in the means of grace; every thing that +earth can afford is gathered into my present cup; it is full and runs +over with earthly good, and a large measure of health to enjoy it. +Moral temporals are also mine in no common degree, friendship, society +at my choice, and respectability in it. Rich means of grace within my +reach, my Bible, and books of every kind and great variety at my hand, +of instruction and of devotion. Mine eyes see my teachers, and my +judgment approves their doctrine as corresponding with that sure word +of testimony given me as the test of all human writings. Yet it is a +day of darkness and of gloom. + + "'Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice +of his servant, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him +trust in the name of the Lord and stay upon his God.' Isa. 50:10. + + "To trust in the name of the Lord and to stay myself upon my God +is still my privilege, and though with little life and little comfort, +my experience. My mind is so desultory! My Bible, and helps derived +from men's deductions and experiences, seem useless; they are not +blessed as means to fix my heart; trifles of every sort pass and +repass often; while my eyes read the words, my mind is gone in a dream +on some other subject; my heart remains unimpressed, my mind +uninformed; the same in prayer, especially in secret and in the +family; less so in the sanctuary. + + "I seem, as to apprehension, left to my own dark, dismal, carnal +self; naked faith on the finished work of my Redeemer is all that +supports me; and that as a bare preventive of fear and source of a +hope that 'I shall yet praise Him who is the health of my countenance +and my God.' I know his covenant stands fast, I have taken hold of it; +I do at this cold and stupid moment place my confidence in it. Christ +is God's covenant, God's gift to sinners; I believe it; he is the Lamb +of God, which taketh away the sin of the world; I believe it; I +believe on the Son for all the purposes for which God has sent him +into the world; therefore I have everlasting life; I believe the +record that God gave of his Son; that God hath given to me eternal +life, and this life is in his Son, not in me, but in union with him. +'He that hath the Son hath life; he that hath not the Son, hath +not life.' John 5. + + "I thank thee, my God, that thou hast not left me to cast away my +confidence in Christ. I have life in him, and no life but as I have it +from him. Thou seest how it is with me. Thou art my reconciled Father +in Christ, but thou hast shut me out from thy presence. I do not enjoy +thee; my poor heart is tossed from trifle to trifle. It has been my +way through life to destroy myself, and thy way to deliver me. Thou +hast been very gracious to me in my old age. I have enjoyed much of +thy presence in thy sanctuary and in my private hours; and although +sin has dwelt and does dwell in me, I have enjoyed thy forgiving +grace, and have tasted thy love, far beyond what I have for weeks +past. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my +thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the +way everlasting.' Show me wherefore thou contendest with me. Am I +living in the indulgence of any known wilful sin; or in the habitual +neglect of any known duty? Lord, 'it is not in man that walketh to +direct his steps.' I know I have been unthankful, unwatchful, idle; +alas, this is my ordinary course; but it is not the ordinary course of +my Lord God, merciful and gracious, to mark iniquity against me, but +to forgive me daily, to lead me to the blood of sprinkling, to give me +contrition, and to restore me to his favor by giving me 'joy and peace +in believing.' Help, Lord; give me heart-searching exercises. I read +thy word, I set about that to which thou callest me. I set apart this +day for fasting, but the gracious exercises are not in me. Come, O +come, and be with me. Exalted Prince, give repentance and remission; +in thy light let me see light. + + "'Therefore now turn ye unto me with all your heart, with +fasting, with weeping and mourning; rend your heart and not your +garments, turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and +merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of +the evil.' Joel 2:12. O, do I not know thee by this name; has it not +been thy name to me throughout this wide wilderness, 'pardoning +iniquity, transgression, and sin?' Thou hast prepared a prayer for me, +'Turn me, and I shall be turned, for thou art the Lord my God.' Jer. +31:18. I look to thy new covenant in the same chapter; it is all +promise, I can do nothing in it. Christ by thine own appointment +answers for my part; or rather, I have no part. I can render nothing +to the Lord for all his benefits to me. I will put forth the withered +hand to 'take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.' + + "Ten o'clock. The day is spent; I have confessed, and endeavored +to turn to the Lord with mourning, but with little sensibility. + + "I attended meeting in the evening, heard two excellent +discourses on the priesthood of Christ, and joined in two prayers and +three hymns with more fixed attention than has been my attainment +lately; for this I thank thee, my God. Many have been the beginnings +of days and of months which thou hast afforded after backsliding. O +add this to the number. 'Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my +supplications; in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy +righteousness. Enter not into judgment with thy servant, for in thy +sight shall no man living be justified.' Psalm 143. + + "My spirit is overwhelmed within me, my heart within me is +desolate. I stretch out my hands unto thee; my soul thirsteth after +thee in a thirsty land. Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit faileth; +hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto those that go down into +the pit. Cause me to hear thy loving-kindness in the morning, for in +thee do I trust; cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I +lift up my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies; I +flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my +God. Thy Spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken +me, O Lord, for thy name's sake; for thy righteousness' sake bring my +soul out of trouble. I wait for thy salvation. + + This heart my Jesus bought with blood, + It is his honest claim; + O seize it, fix it, Saviour God, + To give it is my aim. + + Take full possession of this heart, + And here set up thy throne; + Command each idol to depart, + And make it all thine own. + + O dare I not to thee appeal, + That 'tis my first desire, + That on this heart thou stamp thy seal + And grave it with love's fire? + + To fix this heart to stray no more + I e'en would quit the clay; + Would hasten on to Jordan's shore, + And plough the watery way. + + Nor fear nor dread my soul should move, + With Jesus in my heart; + Each passion swallowed up in love, + I'd court the friendly dart. + + The resurrection and the life + In death itself he'll prove, + And while he closes mortal strife, + Breathe his own life of love. + + Then boast not, monster, of thy sting, + Nor of thy victory, grave; + In th' arms of God's anointed King + I dare thy fiercest brave. + + + + + CHAPTER XII. + + CLOSING LABORS FOR THE POOR-- + SICKNESS AND DEATH. + + During the last two years of her life, Mrs. Graham found her +strength inadequate to so extensive a course of visiting the poor as +formerly; there were some distressed families, however, that +experienced her kind attentions to the last. She would occasionally +accompany the Rev. Mr. Stanford on his visits to the state-prison, +hospital, and to the Magdalen house. This gentleman was the stated +preacher employed by "the Society for the Support of the Gospel among +the Poor," and devoted his time to preaching in the almshouse, +hospital, state-prison, debtors'-prison, etc., with great assiduity +and acceptance. + + Mrs. Graham now spent much of her time in her room, devoted to +meditation, prayer, and reading the Scriptures; she seemed to be +weaning from earth and preparing for heaven. Prayer was that sweet +breath of her soul which brought stability to her life. Genuine +humility was obvious in all her sentiments and deportment. Religious +friends prized her conversation, counsel, and friendship; sometimes +they would venture on a compliment to her superior attainments, but +always experienced a decided rebuke. To her friend Colonel L----, who +expressed a wish to be such a character as she was, she quickly +replied with an air of mingled pleasantry and censure, "Get thee +behind me, Satan." To a female friend who said, "If I were only sure +at last of being admitted to a place at your feet I should feel +happy." "Hush, hush," replied Mrs. Graham, "There is ONE SAVIOUR." +Thus she was always careful to give her divine Redeemer the whole +glory of her salvation. + + This example of humility, self-denial, and sensibility to the +imperfection of her conduct, is the more to be valued, as it is so +difficult to be followed. Flattery is too commonly practised; and +there is no sufficient guard against its dangerous consequences, +except a constant and humbling recognition of the spirituality of the +law of God, and our lamentable deficiency in fulfilling it. Pride was +not made for man: "I have seen an end of all perfection," said the +Psalmist, "but thy commandment is exceeding broad." It was by +cherishing this sentiment, by studying her Bible, by searching her +heart and its motives, and above all, by grace accorded of heaven in +answer to her prayers, that Mrs. Graham was enabled to maintain such +meekness of spirit, such an uniformity of Christian character +throughout her life. May all who read her history be directed to the +same sources of true peace and genuine happiness. + + In the spring of 1814 she was requested to unite with some ladies +in forming a society for the promotion of industry among the poor. +This was the last act in which she appeared before the public. A +petition, signed by about thirty ladies, was presented to the +corporation of New York, praying that they would assign them a +building in which work might be prepared and given out to the +industrious poor, who being paid for their labor, might be saved the +necessity of begging, and at the same time cherish habits of industry +and self-respect. The corporation having returned a favorable answer, +and provided a house, a meeting of the Society was held, and Mrs. +Graham once more was called to the chair. It was the last time she was +to preside at the formation of a new society. Her articulation, once +strong and clear, was now observed to have become more feeble. The +ladies present listened to her with affectionate attention; her voice +broke upon the ear as a pleasant sound that was passing away. She +consented to have her name inserted on the list of managers, and to +give what assistance her age would permit in forwarding so beneficent +a work. Although it pleased God that she should cease from her labors +before the House of Industry was opened, yet the work was carried on +by others and prospered. Between four and five hundred women were +employed and paid during the following winter. The corporation +declared in strong terms their approbation of the result, and enlarged +their donation, with a view to promote the same undertaking for the +succeeding winter. + + In the month of May, 1814, a report was received from Mr. Stephen +Prust of Bristol, in England, of the Society for establishing +Adult-schools. Mrs. Graham was so delighted with a perusal of it, as +immediately to undertake the formation of such a school in the village +of Greenwich. She called on the young people who were at work in some +neighboring manufactories, and requested them to attend her for this +purpose every Sabbath morning at eight o'clock. This was kept up after +her decease as a Sunday-school, and consisted of nearly eighty +scholars. She was translated from this work of faith on earth, to +engage in the sublimer work of praise in heaven. + + For some weeks previous to her last illness she was favored with +unusual health and much enjoyment of religion; she appeared to have +sweet exercises and communion in attending on all God's ordinances and +appointed means of grace. She was also greatly refreshed in spirit by +the success of Missionary and Bible Societies, and used to speak with +much affection of Mr. Gordon, Mr. Lee, Mr. May, and Dr. Morrison, with +whom she had been acquainted when in New York, on their way to +missionary stations in India and China. + + Mrs. Graham was very partial to the works of Dr. John Owen, Rev. +William Romaine, and Rev. John Newton, and read them with pleasure and +profit. One day she remarked to Mr. B----, that she preferred the +ancient writers on theology to the modern, because they dealt more in +italics. "Dear mother," he replied, "what religion can there be in +italics?" "You know," said she, "that old writers expected credit for +the doctrines they taught, by proving them from the word of God to be +correct: they inserted the scripture passages in italics, and their +works have been sometimes one-half in italics. Modern writers on +theology, on the contrary, give us a long train of reasoning to +persuade us to their opinions, but very little in italics." This +remark of hers has great force, and deserves the serious attention of +those who write and those who read on theological subjects. + + On the two Sabbaths preceding her last illness she joined in +communion at the Lord's table. On the 10th of July, 1814, at +Greenwich, and on the 17th at her own church in Cedar-street. On each +week preceding these seasons she attended three evenings on religious +exercises; on Thursdays at the Orphan Asylum, on Friday evenings the +preparation sermons, and on Saturday evenings at the prayer-meetings. +She appeared lively, and expressed comfort in those religious seasons, +and continued actively useful until the very day on which her +illness commenced. + + On the morning of the 17th she attended the Sabbath-school with +her daughter and grandchildren. Thus the Lord was pleased to direct +that she should lead her children's children into the walks of +usefulness before she took her flight to heaven, and impose a pleasing +obligation on them that they should follow her steps. Of the same date +is the last meditation in her diary. + + + "COMMUNION SABBATH, July 17, 1814. + + "'Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him +not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: +receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls,' 1 +Peter, 1:8, 9. + + "I had requested to be brought to my Lord's banqueting-house, and +to be feasted with love this day. I ate the bread and drank the wine, +in the faith that I ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Son of +man, and dwelt in him and he in me. Took a close view of my familiar +friend Death, accompanied with the presence of my Saviour, _his +sensible presence_. I cannot look at it without this; it is my only +petition concerning it. I have had desires relative to certain +circumstances, but they are nearly gone. It is my sincere desire that +God may be glorified, and he knows best how and by what circumstances. +I retain my one petition, + + "Only to me thy countenance show, + I ask no more the Jordan through." + + Thus she arose from her Master's table, was called to gird on her +armor for a combat with the king of terrors, and came off more than +conqueror, through Him who loved her. + + On Monday she appeared in perfect health, and visited and gave +religious instruction to the orphans in the asylum. + + On Tuesday, the 19th of July, she complained of not feeling well, +and kept her room; on Thursday her disorder proved to be a +cholera-morbus, and her children sent for a physician. She thought +this attack was slighter than in former seasons. On Saturday, however, +she requested that Mrs. Chrystie might be sent for; this alarmed Mrs. +B----, knowing there existed an understanding between those two +friends, that one should attend the dying-bed of the other, Mrs. +Chrystie was a very dear friend of Mrs. Graham. For upwards of +twenty-four years they had loved each other, feeling reciprocal +sympathy in their joys and their sorrows; the hope of faith was the +consolation of both, and oftentimes it had been their delightful +employment to interchange their expressions of affection towards Him +whom having not seen, they loved, and in whom, though they saw him +not, yet believing on him, they rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full +of glory. On Mrs. Chrystie's entering the chamber of her friend, Mrs. +Graham welcomed her with a sweet expressive smile, seeming to say, "I +am going to get the start of you, I am called home before you; it will +be your office to fulfil our engagement." When she sat by her bedside, +Mrs. Graham said, "Your face is very pleasant to me, my friend." + + During Saturday night, a lethargy appeared to be overpowering her +frame. On Sabbath morning she was disposed to constant slumber; +observing Mr. B---- looking at her with agitation, she was roused from +her heaviness, and stretching her arms towards him and embracing him, +she said, "My dear, dear son, I am going to leave you; I am going to +my Saviour." "I know," he replied, "that when you do go from us, it +will be to the Saviour; but, my dear mother, it may not be the Lord's +time now to call you to himself." "Yes," said she, "now is the time; +and Oh, I could weep for sin." Her words were accompanied with her +tears. "Have you any doubts, then, my dear friend?" asked Mrs. +Chrystie. "Oh no," replied Mrs. Graham; and looking at Mr. and Mrs. +B---- as they wept, "My dear children, I have no more doubt of going +to my Saviour, than if I were already in his arms; my guilt is all +transferred; he has cancelled all I owed. Yet I could weep for sins +against so good a God: it seems to me as if there must be weeping even +in heaven for sin." + + After this she entered into conversation with her friends, +mentioning portions of scripture and favorite hymns which had been +subjects of much comfort and joy to her. Some of these she had +transcribed into a little book, calling them her "victuals" prepared +for crossing over Jordan; she committed them to memory, and often +called them to remembrance as her songs in the night when sleep had +deserted her. She then got Mr. B---- to read to her some of these +portions, especially the eighty-second hymn of Newton's third book: + + "Let us love, and sing, and wonder; + Let us praise the Saviour's name: + He has hushed the law's loud thunder, + He has quenched mount Sinai's flame: + He has washed us with his blood, + He has brought us nigh to God," etc. + + Mrs. Graham then fell asleep, nor did she awaken until the voice +of the Rev. Dr. Mason roused her. They had a very affectionate +interview, which he has partly described in the excellent sermon he +delivered after her decease. She expressed to him her hope as founded +altogether on the redemption that is in Jesus Christ: were she left to +depend on the merit of the best action she had ever performed, that +would be only a source of despair. She repeated to him, as her view of +salvation, the fourth verse of the same hymn: + + "Let us wonder: grace and justice + Join, and point at mercy's store; + When, through grace, in Christ our trust is, + Justice smiles and asks no more; + He who washed us with his blood, + Has secured our way to God." + +Having asked Dr. Mason to pray with her, he inquired +if there was any particular request she had to +make of God by him; she replied, that God would +direct: then as he kneeled, she put up her hands, and +raising her eyes towards heaven, breathed this short +but expressive petition, "Lord, lead thy servant in +prayer." + + After Dr. Mason had taken his leave, she again fell into a deep +sleep. Her physicians still expressed a hope of her recovery, as her +pulse was regular and the violence of her disease had abated. One of +them, however, declared his opinion that his poor drugs would prove of +little avail against her own ardent prayers to depart and be with +Christ, which was far better for her than a return to a dying world. + + On Monday the Rev. Mr. Rowan prayed with her, and to him she +expressed also the tranquillity of her mind, and the steadfastness of +her hope, through Christ, of eternal felicity. + + Her lethargy increased; at intervals from sleep she would +occasionally assure her daughter, Mrs. B----, that all was well; and +when she could rouse herself only to say one word at a time, that one +word, accompanied with a smile, was, "Peace." From her there was a +peculiar emphasis in this expression of the state of her mind: "Peace +I leave with you, my peace I give unto you," had been a favorite +portion of scripture with her, and a promise, the fulfilment of which +was her earnest prayer to the God who made it. She also occasionally +asked Mr. B---- to pray with her, even when she could only articulate, +as she looked at him, "Pray." She was now surrounded by many of her +dear Christian friends, who watched her dying-bed with affection and +solicitude. On Tuesday afternoon she slept with little intermission. +This, said Dr. Mason, may be truly called "falling asleep in Jesus." +It was remarked by those who attended her, that all terror was taken +away, and that death seemed here as an entrance into life. Her +countenance was placid, and looked younger than before her illness. + + At a quarter past twelve o'clock, being the morning of the 27th +of July, 1814, her spirit gently winged its flight from a mansion of +clay to the realms of glory, while around the precious remnant of +earth her family and friends stood weeping, yet elevated by the scene +they were witnessing. After a silence of many minutes, they kneeled by +her bed, adored the goodness and the grace of God towards his departed +child, and implored the divine blessing on both the branches of her +family, as well as on all the Israel of God. + + Thus she departed in peace, not trusting in her wisdom or virtue, +like the philosophers of Greece and Rome; not even like Addison, +calling on the profligate to see a good man die; but like Howard, +afraid that her good works might have a wrong place in the estimate of +her hope, her chief glory was that of "a sinner saved by grace."* + +*This was Howard's epitaph, dictated by himself. + + After such examples, who will dare to charge the doctrines of the +cross of Christ with licentiousness? Here are two instances of +persons, to whose good works the world have cheerfully borne +testimony, who lived and died in the profession of these doctrines. It +was faith that first purified their hearts, and so the stream of +action from these fountains became pure also. Had not Christ died and +risen again, all the powers of man could never have produced such +lives of benevolence, nor a death so full of contrition, yet so +embalmed with hope. Hallelujah, "unto Him who loved us, and washed us +from our sins in his own blood, and hath made us kings and priests +unto God and his Father: to him be glory and dominion, for ever and +ever. Amen." + + At the next weekly prayer-meeting which she had usually attended, +the circumstances of her death were made subjects of improvement. On +the 16th of July she was a worshipper with her brethren and sisters +there, and on the evening of the 30th they were called to consider her +by faith as in the immediate presence of her God, among "the spirits +of the just made perfect." The services of that evening were closed +with the following hymn from Dobell's collection, which is beautifully +descriptive of her happy change: + + "'Tis finished! the conflict is past, + The heaven-born spirit is fled; + Her wish is accomplished at last, + And now she's entombed with the dead. + + The months of affliction are o'er, + The days and the nights of distress, + We see her in anguish no more-- + She's gained her happy release. + + No sickness, or sorrow, or pain, + Shall ever disquiet her now; + For death to her spirit was gain, + Since Christ was her life when below. + + Her soul has now taken its flight + To mansions of glory above, + To mingle with angels of light, + And dwell in the kingdom of love. + + The victory now is obtained; + She's gone her dear Saviour to see; + Her wishes she fully has gained-- + She's now where she longed to be. + + The coffin, the shroud, and the grave + To her were no objects of dread; + On Him who is mighty to save, + Her soul was with confidence stayed. + + Then let us forbear to complain, + That she is now gone from our sight; + We soon shall behold her again, + With new and redoubled delight." + + Mrs. Graham's death created a strong sensation in the public +mind. Magistrates of the city were careful to express their sense of +the public loss sustained, and many charitable institutions paid +affectionate tributes to her memory. Several clergymen also made her +death the subject of their discourses, among whom was her beloved +pastor, Dr. JOHN M. MASON, who, on Sabbath evening, Aug. 14, delivered +the well-known powerful sermon, "CHRISTIAN MOURNING," from 1 Thess. +4:13, 14: "I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning +them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have +no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so +them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him." + + Contrasting the consolations afforded to the Christian with the +darkness and doubt of the pagan or infidel; dwelling on the +Christian's death as "sleeping in Jesus;" his immediate entrance into +bliss, and his glorious resurrection and reigning with Christ in the +judgment, he thus proceeds: + + "In this faith the apostles labored and the martyrs bled. Ages +have elapsed and it is still the same. It is not a distant wonder; not +a brilliant vision; but a solid and present reality, under the power +of which at this moment, while the words are on my lips, Christians, +in various parts of the world, are closing their eyes to sleep in +Jesus. It has come home to our own business and bosoms. It has chosen +our houses to be the scene of its miracles. But rarely does it fall to +the lot of human eyes to witness so high a display of its value and +virtue, as was witnessed in that blessed woman whose entrance into the +joy of her Lord has occasioned our assembling this evening. + + "As we are commanded to be followers of them who through faith +and patience inherit the promises, we should have their example before +us, that we may learn to imbibe their spirit, to imitate their graces, +and be ready for their reward. With this view, permit me to lay before +you some brief recollections of our deceased friend. + + "It is not my intention to relate the history of her life. That +will be a proper task for biography. I design merely to state a few +leading facts, and to sketch such outlines of character as may show to +those who knew her not, what manner of person she was in all holy +conversation and godliness. Those who knew her best require no such +remembrancer, and will be able, from their own observation, to supply +its defects. + + "ISABELLA MARSHALL, known to us as Mrs. GRAHAM, received from +nature qualities which, in circumstances favorable to their +development, do not allow their possessor to pass through life +unnoticed and inefficient. + + "An intellect strong, prompt, and inquisitive--a temper open, +generous, cheerful, ardent--a heart replete with tenderness, and alive +to every social affection and every benevolent impulse--a spirit at +once enterprising and persevering--the whole crowned with that rare +and inestimable endowment, good sense--were materials which required +only skilful management to fit her for adorning and dignifying any +female station. With that sort of cultivation which the world most +admires, and those opportunities which attend upon rank and fortune, +she might have shone in the circles of the great without forfeiting +the esteem of the good. Or had her lot fallen among the literary +unbelievers of the continent, she might have figured in the sphere of +the Voltaires, the Duffauds, and the other _esprits forts_ of +Paris. She might have been as gay in public, as dismal in private, and +as wretched in her end, as any of the most distinguished among them +for their wit and their woe. But God had destined her for other scenes +and services--scenes from which greatness turns away appalled, and +services which all the cohorts of infidel wit are unable to perform. +She was to be prepared by poverty, bereavement, and grief, to pity and +to succor the poor, the bereaved, and the grieving. The sorrows of +widowhood were to teach her the heart of the widow--her babes, +deprived of their father, to open the springs of her compassion to the +fatherless and orphan--and the consolations of God, her refuge and +strength, her very present help in trouble, to make her a daughter +of consolation to them who were walking in the valley of the shadow +of death. + + "To train her betimes for the future dispensations of his +providence, the Lord touched the heart of this chosen vessel in her +early youth. The spirit of prayer sanctified her infant lips, and +taught her, as far back as her memory could go, to pour out her heart +before God. She had not reached her eleventh year when she selected a +bush in the retirement of the field, and there devoted herself to her +God by faith in the Redeemer. The incidents of her education, +thoughtless companions, the love of dress, and the dancing-school, as +she has herself recorded, chilled for a while the warmth of her piety, +and robbed her bosom of its peace. But her gracious Lord revisited her +with his mercy, and bound her to himself in an everlasting covenant, +which she sealed at his own table about the seventeenth year of +her age. + + "Having married, a few years after, Dr. John Graham, surgeon to +the 60th British regiment, she accompanied him first to Montreal, and +shortly after to Fort Niagara. Here, during four years of temporal +prosperity, she had no opportunity, even for once, of entering the +habitation of God's house, or hearing the sound of his gospel. +Secluded from the waters of the sanctuary and all the public means of +growth in grace, her religion began to languish and its leaf to droop. +But the root was perennial--it was of the seed of God, which liveth +and abideth for ever. The Sabbath was still to her the sign of his +covenant. On that day of rest, with her Bible in her hand, she used to +wander through the woods, renew her self-dedication, and pour out her +prayer for the salvation of her husband and her children. He who +'dwelleth not in temples made with hands,' heard her cry from the +wilds of Niagara, and strengthened her with strength in her soul. + + "By one of those vicissitudes which checker military life, the +regiment was ordered to the island of Antigua in the West Indies. Here +she met with that exquisite enjoyment to which she had been long a +stranger--the communion of kindred spirits in the love of Christ: and +soon did she need all the soothing and support which it is fitted to +administer; for in a very short time the husband of her youth, the +object of her most devoted affection, her sole earthly stay, was taken +from her by death. The stroke was, indeed, mitigated by the sweet +assurance that he slept in Jesus. But a heart like hers, convulsed by +a review of the past and anticipation of the future, would have burst +with agony, had she not known how to pour its sorrows into the bosom +of her heavenly Father. Trials which beat sense and reason to the +ground, raise up the faith of the Christian, and draw her closer to +her God. O, how divine to have him as the rock of our rest when every +earthly reliance is a broken reed. + + "Bowing to his mysterious dispensation, and committing herself to +his protection as the Father of the fatherless and the Husband of the +widow, she returns with her charge to her native land, to contract +alliance with penury, and to live by faith for her daily bread. That +same grace under whose teaching she knew how to abound, taught her +also how to suffer need. With a dignity which belongs only to them who +have treasure in heaven, she descended to her humble cot, employment, +and fare. But her humility, according to the Scripture, was the +forerunner of her advancement. The light of her virtues shone +brightest in her obscurity, and pointed her way to the confidential +trust of forming the minds and manners of young females of different +ranks in the metropolis of Scotland. Here, respected by the great and +beloved by the good; in sacred intimacy with 'devout and honorable +women,' and the friendship of men who were in truth servants of the +most high God, she continued in the successful discharge of her duties +till Providence conducted her to our shores. + + "She long had a predilection for America, as a land in which, +according to her favorite opinion, the church of Christ is signally to +flourish. Here she wished to end her days and leave her children. And +we shall remember with gratitude, that in granting her wish, God cast +her lot with ourselves. Twenty-five years ago she opened in this city +a school for the education of young ladies, the benefits of which have +been strongly felt, and will be long felt hereafter, in different and +distant parts of our country. Evidently devoted to the welfare of her +pupils--attentive to their peculiarities of character--happy in +discovering the best avenue of approach to their minds--possessing in +a high degree the talent of simplifying her instruction and varying +its form, she succeeded in that most difficult part of a teacher's +work, the inducing youth to take an interest in their own improvement, +and to educate themselves by exerting their own faculties. + + "In governing her little empire, she acted upon those principles +which are the basis of all good government, on every scale and under +every modification--to be reasonable, to be firm, and to be uniform. +Her authority was both tempered and strengthened by condescension. It +commanded respect while it conciliated affection. Her word was law, +but it was the law of kindness. It spoke to the conscience, but it +spoke to the heart; and obedience bowed with the knee of love. She did +not, however, imagine her work to be perfected in fitting her eleves +for duties and elegance of life. Never did she forget their immortal +nature. Utterly devoid of sectarian narrowness, she labored to infuse +into their minds those vital principles of evangelical piety which +form the common distinction of the disciples of Christ, the peculiar +glory of the female name, and the surest pledge of domestic bliss. Her +voice, her example, her prayers concurred in recommending that pure +and undefiled religion without which no human being shall see the +Lord. Shall we wonder that her scholars should be tenderly attached to +such a preceptress; that they should leave her with their tears and +their blessing; that they should carry an indelible remembrance of her +into the bosom of their families; that the reverence of pupils should +ripen with their years into the affection of friends; and that there +should be among them, at this day, many a wife who is a crown to her +husband, and many a mother who is a blessing to her children, and who +owes, in a great degree, the felicity of her character to the +impressions, the principles, and the habits which she received while +under the maternal tuition of Mrs. GRAHAM? + + "Admonished at length by the infirmities of age, and importuned +by her friends, this venerable matron retired to private life. But it +was impossible for her to be idle. Her leisure only gave a new +direction to her activity. With no less alacrity than she had +displayed in the education of youth, did she now embark in the relief +of misery. Her benevolence was unbounded, but it was discreet. There +are charities which increase the wretchedness they are designed to +diminish; which, from some fatal defect in their application, bribe to +iniquity while they are relieving want, and make food and raiment and +clothing to warm into life the most poisonous seeds of vice. But the +charities of our departed friend were of another order. They selected +the fittest objects--the widow, the fatherless, the orphan, the +untaught child, and the ignorant adult. They combined intellectual and +moral benefit with the communication of physical comfort. + + "In her house originated the Society for the Relief of Poor +Widows with Small Children. Large, indeed, is this branch of the +family of affliction, and largely did it share in her sympathy and +succor. When at the head of this noble association, she made it her +business to see with her own eyes the objects of their care; and to +give, by her personal presence and efforts, the strongest impulse to +their humane system. From morning till night has she gone from abode +to abode of these destitute, who are too commonly unpitied by the +great, despised by the proud, and forgotten by the gay. She has gone +to sit beside them on their humble seat, hearing their simple and +sorrowful story, sharing their homely meal--ascertaining the condition +of their children--stirring them up to diligence, to economy, to +neatness, to order--putting them into the way of obtaining suitable +employment for themselves and suitable places for their +children--distributing among them the word of God, and tracts +calculated to familiarize its first principles to their +understanding--cherishing them in sickness, admonishing them in +health--instructing, reproving, exhorting, consoling--sanctifying the +whole with fervent prayer. Many a sobbing heart and streaming eye is +this evening embalming her memory in the house of the widow. + + "Little if any less is the debt due to her from that invaluable +charity, the Orphan Asylum. It speaks its own praise, and that praise +is hers. Scores of orphans redeemed from filth, from ignorance, from +wretchedness, from crime--clothed, fed, instructed--trained in +cleanliness to habits of industry--early imbued with the knowledge and +fear of God--gradually preparing for respectability, usefulness, and +happiness, is a spectacle for angels. Their infantine gayety, their +healthful sport, their cherub faces, mark the contrast between their +present and former condition; and recall very tenderly the scenes in +which they used to cluster round their patron-mother, hang on her +gracious words, and receive her benediction. + + "Brethren, I am not dealing in romance, but in sober fact. The +night would be too short for a full enumeration of her worthy deeds. +Suffice it to say that they ended but with her life. The Sabbath +previous to her last sickness occupied her with a recent +institution--a Sunday-school for ignorant adults; and the evening +preceding the touch of death, found her at the side of a faithful +domestic, administering consolation to his wounded spirit. + + "Such active benevolence could hardly be detected in company with +a niggardly temper. Wishes which cost nothing; pity which expires on +the lips; be ye warmed and be ye clothed, from a cold heart and an +unyielding gripe, never imprinted their disgraceful brand upon +Isabella Graham. What she urged upon others she exemplified in +herself. She kept a purse for God. Here, in obedience to his command, +she deposited the first-fruits of all her increase; and they were +sacred to his service, as in his providence he should call for them. +No shuffling pretences, no pitiful evasions, when a fair demand was +made upon the hallowed store; and no frigid affectation in determining +the quality of the demand. A sense of duty was the prompter, candor +the interpreter, and good sense the judge. Her disbursements were +proportioned to the value of the object, and were ready at a moment's +warning, to the very last farthing.* How pungent a reproof to those +ladies of opulence and fashion who sacrifice so largely to their +dissipation or their vanity, that they have nothing left for mouths +without food, and limbs without raiment! How far does it throw back +into the shade those men of prosperous enterprise and gilded state +who, in the hope of some additional lucre, have thousands and ten +thousands at their beck; but who, when asked for decent contributions +to what they themselves acknowledge to be all-important, turn away +with this hollow excuse, 'I cannot afford it.' Above all, how should +her example redden the faces of many who profess to belong to Christ; +to have received gratuitously from him what he procured for them at +the expense of his own blood, 'an inheritance incorruptible and +undefiled, and that fadeth not away;' and yet, in the midst of +abundance which he has lavished upon them, when the question is about +relieving his suffering members, or promoting the glory of his +kingdom, are sour, reluctant, mean. Are these the Christians? Can it +be that they have committed their bodies, their souls, their eternal +hope, to a Saviour whose thousand promises on this very point of +honoring him with their substance, have less influence upon their +hearts and their hands than the word of any honest man? Remember the +deceased, and hang your heads--remember her, and tremble; remember +her, and bring forth fruits meet for repentance. + +*The author knew her, when in moderate circumstances, to give, + unsolicited, _fifty pounds at once_ out of that sacred purse to + a single most worthy purpose. + + "In that charity, also, which far surpasses mere almsgiving, +however liberal, the charity of the gospel, our friend was +conspicuous. The love of God shed abroad in her own heart by the Holy +Ghost, drew forth her love to his people wherever she found them. +Assuredly she had in herself this witness of her having 'passed from +death unto life,' that she loved the brethren. The epistle, written +not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of +stone, but in fleshly tables of the heart; yet read and known of all +men: that is, the Christian temper manifested by a Christian +conversation, was to her the best letter of recommendation. Unwavering +in her own faith as to the peculiar doctrines of the gospel, she could +nevertheless extend love without dissimulation, and the very bowels of +Christian fellowship, to others who, whatever might be their mistakes, +their infirmities, or their differences in smaller matters, agreed in +the great Christian essential of acceptance in the Beloved. Deeply did +she deplore the conceit, the bigotry, and the bitterness of sect. O +that her spirit were more prevalent in the churches; that we could +labor to abase our crown of pride; to offer up with one consent upon +the altar of evangelical charity, those petty jealousies, animosities, +and strifes which are our common reproach; and walk together as +children of the same Father, brethren of the same Redeemer, and heirs +of the same salvation. + + "To these admirable traits of character were added great +tenderness of conscience and a spirit of prayer. Her religion, not +contented to justify her before men, habitually aimed at pleasing God, +who looketh upon the heart. It was not enough for her to persuade +herself that a thing might be right. Before venturing upon it, she +studied to reduce the question of right to a clear certainty. How +cautious and scrupulous and jealous of herself she was in this matter, +they best can tell who saw her in the shade of retirement as well as +in the sunshine of public observation. Perhaps it is not going too far +to say, that her least guarded moments would, in others, have been +marked for circumspection. At the same time her vigilance had nothing +austere, gloomy, constrained, or censorious--nothing to repress the +cheerfulness of social intercourse, or to excite in others, even the +thoughtless, a dread of merciless criticism after they should retire. +It was sanctified nature moving gracefully in its own element. And +with respect to the character and feelings of her neighbors, she was +too full of Christian kindness not to keep her tongue from evil and +her lips from speaking guile. + + "These virtues and graces were maintained and invigorated by her +habit of prayer. With the 'new and living way into the holiest by the +blood of Jesus,' she was intimately familiar. Thither the Spirit of +grace and supplication daily conducted her; there taught her to pray, +and in praying to believe, and in believing to have 'fellowship with +the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.' She knew her God as the God +that heareth prayer; and could attest that 'blessed is she that +believeth, for there shall be a performance of those things which were +told her from the Lord.' + + "Under such influence her course could not but be correct, and +her steps well ordered. The 'secret of the Lord is with them that fear +him; and he will show them his covenant, he will guide them in +judgment.' Thus he did with his handmaid whom he hath called home. +Wherever she was, and in whatever circumstances, she remembered the +guide of her youth, who, according to His promise, never left her, nor +forsook her; but continued His gracious presence with her when she was +old and gray-headed. + + "You may perhaps imagine, that with such direction and support it +was impossible she should see trouble. Nay, but waters of a full cup +were wrung out to her. She often ate the bread of sorrow steeped in +wormwood and gall. Her heavenly Father showed her great and sore +adversities; that he might try her as silver is tried, and bring her +forth from the furnace purified seven times. It was during these +refining processes that she found the worth of being a Christian. +Though her way was planted with thorns and watered with her tears, yet +the candle of the Lord shone upon her head; and from step to step she +had reason to cry, Hitherto hath Jehovah helped. + + "In a word, like Enoch, she walked with God; like Abraham, she +staggered not at his promise through unbelief; like Jacob, she +wrestled with the angel and prevailed; like Moses, endured as seeing +Him who is invisible; like Paul, finished her course with joy. Blessed +were the eyes of the preacher, for they saw the victory of her faith; +and his ears, for they heard her song of salvation. 'You can say with +the apostle, I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is +able to keep that which I have committed unto him?' 'O yes, but I +cannot say the other, I have fought a good fight; I must say, I have +fought a poor fight, I have run a poor race; but Christ fought for me. +Christ ran with me, and through Christ I hope to win,' 'But you have +no fear, no doubts, about your going to be with Christ?' 'O no, not a +doubt; I am as sure of that as if I were already in my Saviour's +arms.' It was her final conversation with children of the dust. The +next day, when her flesh and her heart had so far failed that she was +incapable of uttering a sentence, she still proved her God to be the +strength of her heart, and knew him to be her portion for ever. I said +to her, 'It is peace,' She opened her eyes, smiled, closed them again, +bowed her dying head, and breathed out, 'Peace,' It was her last word +on this side heaven. The attending spirits caught it from her lips, +and brought to her the next day permission to sleep in Jesus. + + "From this review allow me to urge the value of private exertions +in promoting general good. + + "In pursuing his gratifications, man is apt to look upon himself +as a being of great importance; in fulfilling his duties, to account +himself as nothing. Both are extravagances which it will be his wisdom +and happiness to correct. He is neither supreme in worth nor useless +in action. Let him not say, 'I am but one; my voice will be drowned in +the universal din; my weight is lighter than a feather in the public +scale. It is better for me to mind my own affairs, and leave these +higher attempts to more competent hands.' This is the language, not of +reason and modesty, but of sloth, of selfishness, and of pride. The +amount of it is, 'I cannot do every thing, therefore I will do +nothing,' But you can do much. Act well your part according to your +faculties, your station, and your means. The result will be honorable +to yourself, delightful to your friends, and beneficial to the world. +I advise not to gigantic aims, to enormous enterprise. The world has +seen but one Newton, and one Howard. Nothing is required of you but to +make the most of the opportunities within your reach. + + "Recall the example of Mrs. Graham. Here was a woman, a widow, a +stranger in a strange land, without fortune, with no friends but such +as her letters of introduction and her worth should acquire, and with +a family of daughters dependent upon her for their subsistence. Surely +if any one has a clear title of immunity from the obligation to carry +her cares beyond the domestic circle, it is this widow, it is this +stranger. Yet within a few years this stranger, this widow, with no +means but her excellent sense, her benevolent heart, and her +persevering will to do good, awakens the charities of a populous city, +and gives to them an impulse, a direction, and an efficacy unknown +before. + + "What might not be done by men--by men of talent, of standing, of +wealth, of leisure? How speedily, under their well-directed +beneficence, might a whole country change its physical, intellectual, +and moral aspect; and assume, comparatively speaking, the face of +another Eden, a second garden of God. Why then do they not diffuse +thus extensively the seeds of knowledge, of virtue, and of bliss? I +ask not for their pretences; they are as old as the lust of lucre, and +are refuted by the example which we have been contemplating: I ask for +the true reason, for the inspiring principle of their conduct. It is +this--let them look to it when God shall call them to account for the +abuse of their time, their talents, their station, their 'unrighteous +mammon'--it is this: they believe not 'the words of the Lord Jesus, +how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.' They labor +under no want but one, they want _the heart_. The bountiful God +add this to the other gifts which he has bestowed upon them. I turn to +the other sex. + + "That venerable mother in Israel who has exchanged the service of +God on earth for his service in heaven, has left a legacy to her +sisters: she has left the example of her faith and patience; she has +left her prayers; she has left the monument of her Christian deeds; +and by these she being dead, yet speaketh. Matrons, has she left her +mantle also? Are there none among you to hear her voice from the tomb, +Go and do thou likewise? None whom affluence permits, endowments +qualify, and piety prompts, to aim at her distinction by treading in +her steps? Maidens, are there none among you who would wish to array +yourselves hereafter in the honors of this virtuous woman? Your hearts +have dismissed their wonted warmth and generosity, if they do not +throb as the revered vision rises before you. Then prepare yourselves +now, by seeking and serving the God of her youth. You cannot be too +early adorned with the robes of righteousness and the garments of +salvation in which she was wedded, in her morning of life, to Jesus +the King of glory. That same grace which threw its radiance around +her, shall make you also to shine in the beauty of holiness; and the +fragrance of those virtues which it shall create, develope, and +ennoble, will be 'as the smell of a field which the Lord hath +blessed.' + + "Yea, let me press upon all the transcendent excellence of +Christian character, and the victorious power of Christian hope. The +former bears the image of God; the latter is as imperishable as his +throne. We fasten our eyes with more real respect and more heart-felt +approbation upon the moral majesty displayed in walking as Christ also +walked, than upon all the pomps of the monarch or decorations of the +military hero. More touching to the sense and more grateful to high +heaven is the soft melancholy with which we look after our departed +friend, and the tear which embalms her memory, than the thundering +plaudits which rend the air with the name of a conqueror. She has +obtained a triumph over that foe who shall break the arm of valor, and +strike off the crown of kings. 'The fashion of this world passeth +away.' Old Time approaches towards his last hour. The proudest +memorials of human grandeur shall be food for the conflagration to be +kindled when 'the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven in flaming +fire. Then shall he be glorified in his saints, and admired in all +them that believe.' + + "There are those perhaps, in the present assembly, who repute +godliness fanaticism, and the sobriety of Christian peace the gloom of +a joyless spirit; but who cannot forbear sighing out, with the prophet +of mammon, 'Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end +be like his.' If they proceed no further, their wish will not be +granted. None shall die the death of the righteous, unless by a rare +dispensation of mercy, who do not live his life. They only are fit to +be with God who love God and keep his commandments. In that day of +transport and of terror which we shall all witness, how many of the +thoughtless fair who now 'sport themselves with their own deceivings,' +would give all the treasures of the east and thrones of the west to +sit with Isabella Graham on the right hand of Jesus Christ. If ye be +wise betimes, ye may. Now is the accepted time; to-day is the day of +salvation. The gospel of the Son of God offers you at this very +moment, the forgiveness of your sins, and an inheritance among them +that are sanctified. The blessing comes to you as a free gift: accept +it, and live; accept it, and be safe; accept it, and put away the +shudderings of guilt and the fear of death. Then shall you too, like +our friend, go in due season to be with Christ. Your happy spirit +shall rejoin hers in the mansions of the saved. God shall bring you in +soul and body with her when he makes up his jewels. Then shall he +gather his elect from the four winds of heaven, shall perfect that +which concerneth them, and make them fully and for ever blessed. Be +our place among them in that day.' + + + EXTRACT FROM MRS. GRAHAM'S + LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT. + + "My children and my grandchildren I leave to my covenant God--the +God who hath fed me all my life with the bread that perisheth, and the +bread that never perisheth; who has been a Father to my fatherless +children, and a Husband to their widowed mother thus far. And now, +receiving my Redeemer's testimony, John 3:33, I set to my seal that +God is true; and believing the record in John's epistle, that God hath +given to me eternal life, and this life is in his Son, who, through +the eternal Spirit, offered himself without spot unto God, and being +consecrated a priest for ever, hath with his own blood, entered into +the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for me. I also +believe that he will perfect what concerns me, support and carry me +safely through death, and present me to his Father, complete in +his own righteousness, without spot or wrinkle. Into the hands +of this redeeming God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, I commit my +redeemed spirit." + + + Mrs. Graham's epitaph on a tablet in the Pearl-street church, is +associated with that of her son-in-law Mr. Bethune, to whom before his +connection with the family she was a spiritual mother; who prepared +her memoir, wrote and printed tracts for her widows, imported Bibles +for her to distribute, replenished her charity purse when exhausted; +with whom she took sweet counsel and walked to the house of God in +company; and for whom she was pleased to leave the written and +honorable testimony: "He stands in my mind, in temper, conduct, and +conversation, the nearest to the gospel standard of any man or woman I +ever knew as intimately. Devoted to his God, to his church, to his +family, to all to whom he may have opportunity of doing good, duty is +his governing principle; cast upon his care, under God he nourishes me +with kindness," etc. They have entered into rest. One sepulchre +contains their sleeping dust, and one monument bears the following +tribute to their memory: + + + SACRED TO THE MEMORY + OF + DIVIE BETHUNE, + MERCHANT OF THIS CITY, + WHO DIED SEPTEMBER 18, 1824, AGED 53 YEARS; + + AND OF + + ISABELLA GRAHAM, + HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW, + WHO DIED JULY 27, 1814, AGED 72 YEARS. + + THEY WERE BOTH NATIVES OF SCOTLAND. + + + THIS MONUMENT + IS REARED BY HIS BEREAVED WIDOW AND HER ORPHAN DAUGHTER, + AS A TESTIMONIAL OF TWO SERVANTS OF JESUS CHRIST: + THE ONE A RULING ELDER IN HIS CHURCH, THE OTHER A MOTHER IN ISRAEL; + WHO, LIKE ENOCH, WALKED WITH GOD, + LIKE ABRAHAM, OBTAINED THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF FAITH, + AND, LIKE PAUL, FINISHED THEIR COURSE WITH JOY. + THEY WERE LOVELY AND PLEASANT IN THEIR LIVES, + AND THEY REST HERE TOGETHER IN THEIR GRAVES. + +"THE BLESSING OF HIM THAT WAS READY TO PERISH CAME UPON THEM; AND +THEY CAUSED THE WIDOW'S HEART TO SING FOR JOY." JOB 29:13. + +"OH HOW GREAT IS THY GOODNESS, WHICH THOU HAST LAID UP FOR THEM +THAT FEAR THEE; WHICH THOU HAST WROUGHT FOR THEM THAT TRUST IN THEE +BEFORE THE SONS OF MEN!" PSA. 31:19. + + + + + PROVISION + + FOR + + MY LAST JOURNEY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS + + AND + + PASSAGE OVER JORDAN.* + +*Found in Mrs. Graham's pocket after her decease. + + "'Prepare you victuals, for within three days ye shall pass over +this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God +giveth you to possess it. When ye see the ark of the covenant of the +Lord your God, and the priests bearing it, then ye shall remove and go +after it: that ye may know the way by which ye must go, for ye have +not passed this way heretofore.' + + "'Sanctify yourselves, for to-morrow the Lord will do wonders +among you.' + + "'Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth +passeth over before you into Jordan: and it shall come to pass, that +as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of +the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters, that +the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down +from above; and they shall stand upon a heap.' + + "'And it came to pass, that when the people removed from their +tents to pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the +covenant before the people, that as they that bare the ark were come +into Jordan, and the feet of the priests were dipped in the brim of +the water, that the waters that came down from above stood and rose up +upon a heap; and the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the +Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the +Israelites passed over on dry ground.' + + "'And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the +place where the feet of the priests that bare the ark of the covenant +of the Lord stood; and they are there unto this day.' + + "'When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, +saying, What mean these stones? ye shall let your children know, +saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land; for the Lord your +God dried up the waters from before you until ye were passed over, as +the Lord your God did to the Red sea, which he dried up, until we were +passed over; that all people of the earth might know the hand of the +Lord, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the Lord your God for +ever,' Amen. Josh. 1:11; chap. 3, 4. + + "Oh, thou Jehovah; Israel's God, and by thy new covenant, my God; +thus far hast thou brought me through the wilderness: bearing, +chastising, forgiving, restoring. Well hast thou made out thy +wilderness name to me: 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, +long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for +thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Great have +been my provocations, but greater still thy covenant mercy. I have not +perished with them that believed not; sore bitten I am, but thou hast +fixed mine eyes on the lifted-up Healer, and I am in his hand for +further cure. My journey has been long, and my way devious; but my +blessed Joshua is still in view. I must be near to Jordan's flood; I +have been preparing victuals from thine own repository of truth. And +now, my blessed High-priest and Ark of the covenant, lead on my +staggering steps the little further. I have not gone this way +heretofore, but thou hast measured these waters while they overflowed +all their banks. Thou hast passed through, and made the passage safe +for thy people. At thy command the waters stand up upon a heap, and +they pass through in thy presence on faith's firm ground. Keep then +mine eye upon thee, and I shall fear no evil. And Oh, my, blessed +Leader, if it might please thee, I would ask a boon, yet with +submission, that thy sensible presence might be with me all the way +through; and that thou wouldst bring from my quivering lips a +testimony to the glory of thy grace, that my children may know that +thou hast pardoned, restored, perfected, dried up the waters of +terror, carried me triumphantly through, and put me in possession of +the purchased inheritance. Amen. + + "'This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that +Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.' +1 Tim. 1:15. + + "I have often inquired, What is there within us, or without us, +on which a sinner can rest in peace in a dying hour? If it be a holy +life, there can be no peace for me--taking the law of God for my +standard; backslider is my name; yet I think in this sacred volume I +find a hope even for me, the chief of sinners. + + "'As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must +the Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth on him should +not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he +gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not +perish, but have eternal life. For God sent not his Son into the world +to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.' +'He that cometh from heaven is above all, and what he hath seen and +heard, that he testifieth.' 'He that receiveth his testimony has set +to his seal that God is true.' 'The Father loveth the Son, and hath +given all things into his hand; he that believeth on the Son hath +everlasting life.' John 3:14-36. Here is a hope for me; the world is +made up of sinners, I am one of them, and though the chief, am not +excluded. The Son of man came to save that which was lost, Matt. +18:11; I am of that description. 'The Pharisees said, Why eateth your +master with publicans and sinners? Jesus said, The whole need not a +physician, but they that are sick.' Matt. 9:11. I am a sinner, and +sick. 'I will have mercy, and not sacrifice; for I am not come to call +the righteous, but sinners to repentance.' I am a sinner, and need +repentance. 'Him hath God exalted with his right hand, to be a Prince +and a Saviour, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.' +Acts 5:31. 'The Lord is long-suffering, not willing that any should +perish, but that all should come to repentance.' 2 Pet. 3:9. + + "Christ said to the woman of Samaria, a notorious sinner, 'If +thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give +me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given +thee living water. Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst +again; but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him, +shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in +him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.' John 4:10, +14. Yes, my Redeemer, a draught of this water, received in faith from +the hand of the Spirit, will give life in death. O pour it into my +thirsty soul in that searching hour. + + "Jesus said to a mixed multitude of sinners like me, 'Labor not +for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto +everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you; for him +hath God the Father sealed,' John 6:27. These sinners said unto him, +'What shall we do that we might work the works of God?' 'That ye +believe on Him whom he hath sent. My Father giveth you the true bread +from heaven, for the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, +and giveth life unto the world: I am the bread of life; he that cometh +unto me shall never hunger, and he that believeth on me shall never +thirst. I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any man +eat of this bread, he shall live for ever. And the bread which I shall +give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. Jesus +said unto them, Except ye eat the flesh, and drink the blood of the +Son of man, ye have no life in you: whoso eateth my flesh, and +drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father +hath sent me, and I live by the Father; so he that eateth me, even he +shall live by me.' The Father giveth this bread, the Son giveth this +bread; whosoever will, may take of this bread, and the promise with +it. Father, I take this bread, I take and believe that I have in thee +eternal life, according to thy word. O holy and blessed Comforter, +Spirit of the Father and of the Son, whose office it is to take of the +things of Christ and show them unto his redeemed, when the bread and +the water that perish can no longer refresh this dying body, apply +this living bread and living water to my soul, that life may spring up +in the midst of death; and in that trying hour, bear witness with my +spirit that I dwell in Christ, and Christ in me, and that I shall +never die. + + "'In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and +cried, If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that +believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall +flow rivers of living water. This spake he of the Spirit, that they +who believe on him should receive.' John 7:37. This he proclaimed to a +mixed multitude of sinners like myself. Lord, I believe, and am sure +that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. Be it unto me +according to thy word: 'I am the resurrection and the life: he that +believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever +liveth and believeth in me, shall never die. Believest thou this?' +John 11:25. I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of the living +God, which should come into the world; the promised Messiah; the gift +of the Father, the covenant given to the people; the anointed Prophet +and King, and consecrated High-priest; who through the eternal Spirit +offeredst thyself without spot unto God; who came to do that most +perfect will of God, by which we are sanctified through the offering +of the body of Christ once for all. Lamb of God, which takest away the +sins of the world, on thee I lay my precious never-dying soul; wash me +in thy blood, clothe me in thy righteousness; sanctify me, soul, +spirit, and body, to thy service. I have no other foundation of hope, +nothing within me, nothing without me; my entire dependence is on thy +finished work; into thy hands I commit my spirit. + + "Let me hear thy consoling voice, compassionate Saviour. 'Let not +your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my +Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so I would have told +you. I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive +you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also,' John 14:1-3. +O seal this upon my heart, and it is enough. To be where thou art, is +heaven enough to me. To be where thou art, to see thee as thou art, +and to be made like thee, the last sinful motion for ever past--no +more opposition, no more weariness, listlessness, dryness, deadness; +but conformed to my blessed Head, every way capacitated to serve him, +and to enjoy him--this is heaven. + + "'Jesus said, I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no man +cometh to the Father, but by me.' Blessed Comforter, do thine office; +take these things of Christ and show them unto me; lead me in this +way, feed me with this truth, and animate me with this life: +'Whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, that will I do, +that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye ask any thing in my +name, I will do it.' Blessed Comforter, here also do thine office: I +know not what to ask for as I ought; help mine infirmities as thou +hast said; suggest the prayer, be in me the spirit of prayer and +supplication, and especially in that hour of need, when sickness saps +the clay tabernacle, discomposing the spirit, and confusing perhaps +the ideas: still, still let my thoughts rise to my God. Oh, let no +unhallowed subject get hold of me in that hour, but keep my Saviour's +name in my heart, and on my lips. Is not this according to thy will? +watch over it then, and keep the avenues of my soul from every +vain idea. + + "'If ye love me, keep my commandments, and I will pray the +Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide +with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot +receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him; but ye know +him, for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. He that hath my +commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me; and he that +loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will +manifest myself unto him; and we will come and make our abode with +him. The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send +in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to +your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with +you; my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto +you: let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' In +that last warfare, when nothing on earth can give peace; when the +world recedes, and disappears; when friends must stand aloof and leave +me to the combat alone; Oh, blessed and promised Comforter, bring to +my remembrance, and impress on my weary spirit these sweet words of my +Saviour. But it has often occurred to me, and may in that hour, that +though Jesus received sinners, they were ignorant sinners. The Jews +understood not the gospel contained in their types and sacrifices; +they were unenlightened and unconverted; the Gentiles were totally +blind, serving dumb idols; neither had known the gospel, neither had +tasted the grace of God, neither were backsliders, like me. I have +known the truth, been enlightened, tasted of the heavenly gift, been +made a partaker of the Holy Ghost, tasted of the good word of God, and +of the power of the world to come. + + "Fifty years ago the Lord convinced me of my sin, my misery, and +my total helplessness. I was also, I think, enabled to lay hold on the +hope set before me. + + "I have, in numerous exercises and acts, accepted of God's gift +of Jesus Christ to me a condemned sinner; taking hold of the Scripture +words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance. I have +pleaded his own covenant provision, in the substitution of his own Son +in my stead, making him to be sin, who knew no sin, that sinners might +be made the righteousness of God in him. I put in my claim as a +sinner, among the ungodly for whom Christ died. I believed his +testimony, and set to my seal that God is true. I rested on this +foundation--I yet have no other; I know there is no other. The +foundation standeth sure. But Oh, what am I to think of the fruits? I +have again and again turned back into the world, grieved the Spirit, +crucified the Son of God afresh, and put him to open shame. No wonder +I stand alarmed at the apostle's assertion: my conscience testifies +that my character is nearly, if not altogether, such as the apostle, +by the Holy Spirit, says it is impossible to renew to repentance. +Hebrews 6:4, 5. But thou hast renewed to repentance! Thy name is 'the +Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and +abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving +iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Thou wilt by no means clear the +guilty; but thou hast provided a substitute, and laid my guilt and +guilty person on thine own Son. + + "By this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding Israel +in the wilderness; whose heart, like mine, was not right with God; +neither were they steadfast in his covenant; but he, 'being full of +compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not.' Many a +time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. They +forgot God their Saviour, who had done great things for them; they +transgressed his commandment, and in their heart turned back again to +Egypt; they brought upon themselves many afflictions, and many times +did he deliver them; they provoked him with their counsel, and were +brought low for their iniquity; nevertheless, he heard their cry, and +repented according to the multitude of his mercies; while the blood of +bulls and of goats typified the great propitiatory sacrifice, by which +'God can be just and justify the ungodly.' By this name was the Lord +God, merciful and gracious, known in the pleasant land; and by the +same sacrifice, the blood of Christ, which cleanseth from all sin, was +typified. Psalms 103, 51. + + "The prophets prophesied in his name. 'All we, like sheep, have +gone astray, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He +was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities; +the chastisement of our peace was laid on him, and by his stripes we +are healed.' 'Deliver him from going down to the pit; I have found a +ransom.' Even backsliders, among whom I stand chief, have been +recalled. 'My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me +the fountain of living waters, and have hewn out to themselves +cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. Is Israel a +servant; is he a home-born slave; wherefore is he spoiled? Hast thou +not procured this to thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy +God, when he led thee by the way? And now what hast thou to do in the +way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in +the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river? Thine own +wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove +thee. Know therefore, and see that it is an evil and bitter thing, +that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God, and that my fear is not in +thee, saith the Lord God of hosts. For of old I have broken thy yoke, +and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon +every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the +harlot. Yet I had planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed: how +art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me? +Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be +ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of Assyria. Have I been a +barren wilderness, or a land of darkness unto thee? Wherefore say my +people, We are lords, and will come no more to thee? Can a maid forget +her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me, +days without number.' Jeremiah 2. 'They say, If a man put away his +wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return +to her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast +played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again unto me, saith +the Lord. Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me. My Father, thou +art the guide of my youth?' What can I say to such grace? Thou art +infinite in thy mercy to pardon, and in thy power to save. Such has +been my character, and such the amazing mercy of my offended God. +Often, often has he pardoned, restored, blessed, and made me happy. +But Oh, just is the renewed charge against me. 'For the house of +Israel and the house of Judah have dealt very treacherously with me, +saith the Lord. They have belied the Lord, and said, It is not he, +neither shall evil come upon us.' 'Go and proclaim these words, and +say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not +cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord, +I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that +thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God; and ye have not +obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. Turn, O backsliding children, for I +am married unto you.' Jer. 3. What, O what can I say to such grace? +Truly, thy ways are not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts. +For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are thy ways higher +than our ways, and thy thoughts than our thoughts. Oh, how is my guilt +aggravated by all this grace; and yet thou callest, _Return;_ and +thou thyself turnest me. I do, O Lord God, merciful and gracious, I do +acknowledge my iniquity; every time I turn back my eyes upon my past +life my sins rise in magnitude, heightened by more enlarged views of +thy goodness. It is of the Lord's mercies that I am not consumed, +because his compassions fail not. + + "A voice was heard upon the high places, weeping and supplication +of the children of Israel, for they have perverted their ways, and +they have forgotten the Lord their God. Yes, thou hast, my gracious +God, granted repentance. Thine eye has seen the tears I have shed; +thou hast given me a contrite heart. I have looked upon him whom I +have pierced, and been in bitterness as for a first-born. I feel it +now, and must feel it while the body of sin exists. But Oh, Lord God, +merciful and gracious, the cause is in thyself, that I hear thy voice, +and that I answer. 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal +your backslidings. Behold, I come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our +God. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and the +multitude of mountains. Truly, in the Lord God is the salvation of +Israel. We lie down in our shame, our confusion covereth us: for we +have sinned against the Lord our God; we and our fathers, even from +our youth; and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord God. Thus saith +the Lord God, I will even deal with thee as thou hast done, who hast +despised the oath in breaking the covenant. Nevertheless, I will +remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth; and I will +establish unto thee an everlasting covenant, and thou shalt know that +I am the Lord. That thou mayest remember and be confounded, and never +open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified +towards thee, saith the Lord God.' Amen, Lord God, merciful and +gracious. Be it so. It is so _now_--it _must_, it will be +so, until death shall open mine eyes on that mystery: The glory of God +arising out of the abounding of sin, through the superabounding of +grace, and grace reigning through righteousness unto eternal life, by +Jesus Christ our Lord! + + "Till then, while sin dwelleth in me, let me enjoy the +blessedness of a contrite heart; yea, even shame and confusion, since +it is the sign that thou art pacified with me. Thou hast dealt with +me, thou hast chastened, and in some instances taken vengeance on my +inventions. But thou art pacified with me, and I dare look again to +thy holy temple, to the temple not made with hands, to the minister of +the sanctuary, and the true tabernacle which the Lord pitched, and not +man; to the blessed High-priest, who through the eternal Spirit +offered himself a sacrifice without spot unto God, and by his own +blood entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal +redemption for us, and when he had purged our sins, sat down on the +right hand of the Majesty on high; to the blessed Mediator of the new +and better covenant, established on better promises; to the Surety of +the new testament, and sealed with his own blood. Oh, I will look unto +Jesus, the object, the author, and the finisher of that faith which +interests us in himself and the whole of his purchase. He bids me look +unto him, and be saved. I do look unto him, and I am saved. Who dares +condemn the sinner whom Christ acquits? Who shall lay any thing to his +charge? 'It is Christ that died; yea, rather, who is risen again; +who is even at the right hand of God; who also maketh intercession +for us.'" + + + ISAIAH 44:22. "RETURN UNTO ME. + + A SCRIPTURE PARAPHRASE BY D. B---- + + "Return to thee, my God? dost thou + The invitation yet renew? + Return to thee! my chiefest joy, + Till sin did all my peace destroy. + + "And yet, to hear thy pardoning voice + Must make my trembling heart rejoice; + Though sin is there, thou well dost know + It is my burden and my foe. + + "O let me hear those gracious words: + Be still, my soul, they are the Lord's; + That God, who once on thee did shine, + And filled thee with a hope divine. + + "'Thy black transgressions, trembling soul-- + Thy sins so heinous and so foul, + Which like a cloud obscure thy day, + I've blotted out, I've washed away. + + "'Return to me, thou 'rt mine; I own + Thee for my servant, and my son; + I have redeemed thy precious soul, + And none my purchase shall control.' + + "I hear, I come, my covenant God: + Thy love's my life, my raiment, food; + Thy favor, through my Jesus given, + Is to my soul the bliss of heaven. + + "I come, my Jesus; hold me fast, + Till, life and Jordan's journey past, + My faith to vision yield her place, + And I shall see thy unveiled face. + + "Then, with the loudest of the throng, + Of sins forgiven I'll raise the song-- + Of pardon bought with Jesus' blood, + Sinners made kings and priests to God." + + + PSALM 103. FIFTY YEARS AGO. + + "Oh thou, my soul, bless God the Lord, + And all that in me is + Be stirred up, his holy name + To magnify and bless," etc. + + "'I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you. Yet a +little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I +live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my +Father, and ye in me, and I in you. Believest thou not that I am in +the Father, and the Father in me? He that hath seen me, hath seen the +Father. Howbeit, when the Spirit of truth is come, he will guide you +into all truth. He shall glorify me; for he shall receive of mine, and +shall show it unto you. All things that the Father hath are mine; +therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall show it unto +you.' John 14; 16:14. 'Neither pray I for these alone, but for them +also which shall believe on me through their word; that they all may +be one; as thou, Father, art in me and I in thee, that they may be one +in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the +glory which thou gavest me I have given them, that they may be one, +even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may be made +perfect in one; that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and +hast loved them as thou hast loved me. Father, I will that they also, +whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am, that they may behold +my glory, which thou hast given me; for thou lovedst me before the +foundation of the world.' John 17:20, etc. 'All are yours; and ye are +Christ's; and Christ is God's.' 1 Cor. 3:22. 'Ye are dead, and your +life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall +appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.' Col. 3:3. 'For +in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are +complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power.' +Col. 2:9. 'There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in +one hope of your calling: one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God +and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. +But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of +the gift of Christ.' Eph. 4:4. + + "'I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but +Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I +live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself +for me,' Gal. 2: 20. + + "'Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world! +And looking upon Jesus as he walked, John saith, Behold the Lamb of +God!' John 1:29, 36. + + "'Therefore let no man glory in men: for all things are yours; +whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, +or things present, or things to come; all are yours; and ye are +Christ's; and Christ is God's,' 1 Cor. 3:21. + + "'It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He +sitteth alone and keepeth silence; he putteth his mouth in the dust, +if so be there may be hope; he giveth his cheek to him that smiteth +him: he is filled full with reproach.' Lam. 3:27. + + "'That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open +thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward +thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord.' Ezek. 16:63. +_Amen._ + + "'A day of darkness and of gloominess, a day of clouds and of +thick darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains. Therefore, +also now, saith the Lord, turn ye unto me with all your heart, with +fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. Rend your heart, and not +your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and +merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of +the evil,' Joel 2:2, 12. + + "'I will visit upon her the days of Baalim: she went after her +lovers, and forgat me, saith the Lord. I will allure her, and bring +her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her. And I will +betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in +righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving-kindness, and in +mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou +shalt know the Lord.' Hosea 2:13. + + "'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself; but in me is thy help.' +'Return unto the Lord thy God, for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity. +Take with you words, and turn to the Lord; say unto him, Take away all +iniquity, and receive us graciously: so will we render the calves of +our lips. Ashur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses: +neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our +gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.' Hosea 13:14. + + "'I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely; for +mine anger is turned away from him. I will be as the dew unto Israel; +he shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon. +Ephraim shall say, What have I to do any more with idols? I have heard +him, and observed him. I am like a green fir-tree; from me is thy +fruit found.' Hosea 14. + + "'O Lord, to us belongeth confusion of face, because we have +sinned against thee. To the Lord our God belong mercies and +forgiveness, though we have rebelled against him.' Daniel 9. + + "'He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the +lambs in his arms, and carry them in his bosom; and shall gently lead +those that are with young. Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O +Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over +from my God? Hast thou not known, hast thou not heard, that the +everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching +of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that +have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and +be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; but they that wait +upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with +wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, +and not faint.' Isa. 40:11, etc. + + "'Who gave Jacob for a spoil, and Israel to the robbers? Did not +the Lord, he against whom we have sinned? For they would not walk in +his ways, neither were they obedient to his law. Therefore he hath +poured upon him the fury of his anger, and the strength of battle: and +it hath set him on fire round about, yet he knew not; and it burned +him, yet he laid it not to heart. But now thus saith the Lord that +created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not; +for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art +mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and +through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest +through the fire, thou shalt not be burnt; neither shall the flame +kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, +thy Saviour. Since thou wast precious in my sight thou hast been +honorable, and I have loved thee.' Isa. 42:24, etc. + + "Yes, my God, I remember and am confounded; amazed at my +ingratitude, amazed at thy grace. I am thy witness, just so has been +thy way with me. What can I say? Thou hast wrought with me for thy +name's sake. I am dumb before thee; Oh, I am vile--and yet I am thine! +Thou hast redeemed me; it is thy good pleasure to save me. Glorify thy +name. 'I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and +as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. Sing, +O ye heavens; for the Lord hath done it: shout, ye lower parts of the +earth: break forth into singing, ye mountains, O forest and every +green tree therein; for the Lord hath redeemed Jacob, and glorified +himself in Israel.' + + "'For if by one man's offence, death reigned by one; much more +they which receive abundance of grace, and of the gift of +righteousness, shall reign in life by one, Christ Jesus. Where sin +abounded, grace did much more abound: that as sin hath reigned unto +death, so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life, +by Jesus Christ our Lord.' + + "'Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I +am God, and there is none else. I have sworn by myself, the word is +gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that unto +me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear. Surely shall one +say, In the Lord have I righteousness and strength: even to him shall +men come; and all that are incensed against him shall be ashamed. In +the Lord shall all the seed of Israel be justified, and shall glory.' +'Hearken unto me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house +of Israel. Even to your old age, I am he; and even to hoar hairs will +I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will +deliver you.' Isa. 45:22; 46:3. + + "'Thus saith the Lord; I, even I, will both search my sheep, and +seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he +is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, +and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered +in the cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the people, +and gather them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of +Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country. +And I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of +Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and +in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel. I will +feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down, saith the Lord God. +I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven +away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that +which was sick.' Ezek. 34:11. He hath done it, I am his witness: I, +the poor wanderer, the happy subject of this grace. 'And I will raise +up for them a plant of renown,' my Jesus, 'and they shall be no 'more +consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the +heathen any more. Thus shall they know that I the Lord their God am +with them, and that they, even the house of Israel, are my people, +saith the Lord God. And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men, +and I am your God, saith the Lord God.' Ezek. 34:29. 'As the mountains +are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people from +henceforth, even for ever.' Psa. 125:2. + + "'When the house of Israel dwelt in their own land, they defiled +it by their own way and by their doings. And I scattered them among +the heathen, and they were dispersed through the countries; according +to their ways and according to their doings I judged them. And when +they entered unto the heathen, whither they went, they profaned my +holy name, when they said to them, These are the people of the Lord, +and are gone forth out of his land. But I had pity for my holy name, +which the house of Israel had profaned among the heathen, whither they +went. Therefore say unto the house of Israel, thus saith the Lord God: +I do not this for your sakes, O house of Israel, but for my holy +name's sake, which ye have profaned among the heathen, whither ye +went. And I will sanctify my great name, which was profaned among the +heathen, which ye have profaned in the midst of them; and the heathen +shall know that I am the Lord, saith the Lord God, when I shall be +sanctified in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among +the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you +into your own land. Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye +shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, +will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit +will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of +your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my +Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall +keep my judgments, and do them. I will also save you from all your +uncleannesses: and I will call for the corn, and will increase it, and +lay no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of the tree, and +the increase of the field, that ye shall receive no more reproach of +famine among the heathen. Then shall ye remember your own evil ways, +and your doings that were not good, and shall loathe yourselves in +your own sight for your iniquities, and for your abominations. Not for +your sakes do I this, saith the Lord God, be it known unto you: be +ashamed and confounded for your own ways, O house of Israel.' +Ezek. 36:17, etc." + + + EZEKIEL 16:63; 36:32. + + A SCRIPTURE PARAPHRASE BY D. B----. + + "Not for your sakes; for, born unclean, + The slaves of Satan and of sin. + I saw no comeliness in you, + To bid my grace such wonders do. + + "Not for your sakes; for when my love + And grace should your affections move, + The working of an evil heart + Still makes you from my truth depart. + + "Not for your sakes; for, bold and blind, + To lust and avarice inclined, + Each shadowy idol you obey, + Disowning my paternal sway. + + "Not for your sakes; with heaven in view, + For sin you sell your souls anew; + You barter, for a gilded bait, + The joys of an eternal state. + + "Not for your sakes; for though you eyed + The cross of Christ on which he died, + You scorn his love for worldly ends, + And wound him in the house of friends. + + "Not for your sakes; with Jesus' name, + You put him to an open shame; + And by your sins, consent again + To have the dear Redeemer slain. + + "Not for your sakes; 'tis my free grace + That grants you pardon, life, and peace; + And works a change on all your frame, + And binds you to adore my name. + + "Not for my sake!--I hail the sound; + Let power of grace my pride confound: + Salvation is a work divine; + Confusion and the shame be mine. + + "Not for my sake!--did I but trust + To weakness, vanity, and dust, + I ne'er could reach the heavenly prize, + Nor hope a mansion in the skies. + + "Not for my sake!--yet save and call; + Let Jesus be my all in all: + When glory comes I'll self disown, + And grace, free grace shall wear the crown." + + "'Praise ye the Lord. O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is +good: for his mercy endureth for ever.' Psalm 106:1. + + "'Remember me, O Lord, with the favor that thou bearest unto thy +people: O visit me with thy salvation, that I may see the good of thy +chosen, that I may rejoice in the gladness of thy nation, that I may +glory with thine inheritance.' Psalm 106:4, 5. + + "'At that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the +commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise, +having no hope, and without God in the world; but now, in Christ +Jesus, ye who sometime were far off, are made nigh by the blood of +Christ.' Eph. 2:12, 13. + + "'Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt +prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear: to judge the +fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may no more +oppress.' Psalm 10:17. + + "'Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee +these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, to prove thee, to +know what was in thy heart, whether thou wouldest keep his +commandments, or no. And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, +and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy +fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by +bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the +Lord doth man live. Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did +thy foot swell, these forty years.' + + "'Thou shalt also consider in thy heart, that as a man chasteneth +his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee. Therefore thou shalt +keep the commandments of the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, and to +fear him.' Deut. 8:2-6. + + "'Thou, God, seest me.' Gen. 16:13. + + "'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who +hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in +Christ; according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of +the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in +love: having predestinated us to the adoption of sons by Jesus Christ +to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise +of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the +Beloved; in whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness +of sins, according to the riches of his grace; wherein he hath +abounded towards us in all wisdom and prudence; having made known unto +us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he +hath purposed in himself: that in the dispensation of the fulness of +times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which +are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him, in whom also we +have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the +purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own +will: that we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted +in Christ.' Eph. 1:3-12. + + "'God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he +loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together +with Christ, (by grace ye are saved,) and hath raised us up together, +and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; that in +the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace, in +his kindness towards us, through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye +saved, through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of +God: not of works, lest any man should boast; for we are his +workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath +before ordained that we should walk in them. Now therefore ye,' +Gentiles, 'are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow-citizens +with the saints, and of the household of God; and are built upon the +foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being +the chief corner-stone; in whom all the building fitly framed together +groweth unto a holy temple in the Lord: in whom ye also are builded +together for a habitation of God through the Spirit.' Eph. 2:4, etc. +'I,' Paul, 'bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of +whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would +grant you according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened +with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in +your hearts by faith; that ye being rooted and grounded in love, may +be able to comprehend with all saints, what is the breadth, and +length, and depth, and height, and to know the love of Christ, which +passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of +God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all +that we can ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, +unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus, throughout all ages, +world without end. Amen.' Eph. 3:14-21. + + "'I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk +worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and +meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love; +endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. +There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope +of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father +of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. But unto +every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of +Christ. That we may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, +even Christ: from whom the whole body fitly joined together and +compacted by that which every joint supplieth'--ministers and people +in the use of all appointed means--'according to the effectual working +in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body to the +edifying of itself in love.' Eph. 4:1, etc. + + "'I am the vine, ye are the branches; he that abideth in me and I +in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do +nothing.' John 15:5, 7. + + "'And Moses said, The Lord heareth your murmurings that ye murmur +against him; and what are we? your murmurings are not against us, but +against the Lord. And Moses said, This is the bread which the Lord +hath given you to eat. And the children of Israel did eat manna until +they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.' Exodus 16. + + "'I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man +eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will +give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. He that +eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. +The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.' +John 6:51, etc. + + "'For of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us +wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption.' 1 Cor. +1:30. + + "'Seeing then that we have a great High-priest, who is passed +into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our +profession. For we have not a High-priest who cannot be touched with +the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as +we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne +of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of +need.' Heb. 4:14. 'For this is the covenant that I will make with the +house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord: I will put my laws +into their mind, and write them in their hearts; and I will be to them +a God, and they shall be to me a people: and they shall not teach +every man his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, Know the +Lord; for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. For I +will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their +iniquities will I remember no more. In that he saith, A new covenant, +he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is +ready to vanish away.' Heb. 8:10-13. + + "'This is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and +this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that +hath not the Son of God, hath not life.' 1 John 5:11, 12. Thanks be to +God for his unspeakable gift.' 2 Cor. 9:15. + + "'Truly my soul waiteth upon God; from him cometh my salvation. +He is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved. My soul, wait thou +only upon God, for my expectation is from him: he only is my rock and +my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my +salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge is in +God.' Psa. 62:1-7." + + _______________ + + REST. + + "'Thus the heavens and the earth were finished: and on the +seventh day God ended his work which he had made, and he rested the +seventh day from all his work which he had made; and God blessed the +seventh day, and sanctified it, because that in it he had rested from +all his work that he had created and made.' Genesis 2:1-3. + + "'And Moses said, To-morrow is the rest of the holy Sabbath unto +the Lord. So the people rested on the seventh day.' Exodus 16:23, 30. + + "'And the women followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how +his body was laid. And they returned, and prepared spices and +ointments; and rested the Sabbath day according to the commandment.' +Luke 23:55, 56. + + "Christ rested in the tomb of Joseph the last Sabbath under the +law; but the evening and the morning were the first day. On that +morning he closed his work of humiliation, manifested his victory over +death--the curse denounced--by rising from the tomb, and rested on the +first day of the week from all his humiliation work; his death, +burial, and rest in the grave on the seventh day being the last part +of that work." + + _______________ + + "My God, thy service well demands + The remnant of my days: + Why is this feeble life preserved, + But to repeat thy praise? + + "Thine arms of everlasting love + Do this weak frame sustain, + While life is hovering o'er the grave, + And nature sinks with pain. + + "Thou, when the pains of death assail, + Wilt chase the fears of hell, + And teach my pale and quivering lips + Thy matchless grace to tell. + + "Calmly I'll lay my fainting head + On thy dear faithful breast: + Pleased to obey my Father's call + To his eternal rest. + + "Into thy hands, my Saviour God, + Do I my soul resign, + In firm dependence on that truth + That made salvation mine." + + + THE INWARD WARFARE. + + "Strange and mysterious is my life; + What opposites I feel within: + A stable peace, a constant strife, + The rule of grace, the power of sin. + Too often I am captive led, + Yet daily triumph in my Head. + + "I prize the privilege of prayer; + But O, what backwardness to pray: + Though on the Lord I cast my care, + I feel its burden every day. + I seek his will in all I do, + Yet find my own is working too. + + "I call the promises mine own, + And prize them more than mines of gold; + Yet, though their sweetness I have known, + They leave me unimpressed and cold. + One hour upon the truth I feed; + The next, I know not what I read. + + "I love the holy day of rest, + When Jesus meets his gathered saints: + Sweet day, of all the week the best, + For its return my spirit pants; + Yet often, through my unbelief, + It proves a day of guilt and grief. + + "While on my Saviour I rely, + I know my foes shall lose their aim; + And therefore dare their power defy, + Assured of conquest through his name; + But soon my confidence is slain, + And all my fears return again. + + "Thus different powers within me strive, + And death and sin by turns prevail. + I grieve, rejoice, decline, revive, + And victory hangs in doubtful scale; + But Jesus has his promise passed, + That grace shall overcome at last." + + _______________ + + FLESH AND SPIRIT. + + "What different powers of grace and sin + Attend our mortal state: + I hate the thoughts that work within, + Yet do the works I hate. + + "Now I complain, and groan, and die, + While sin and Satan reign; + Now raise my songs of triumph high, + For grace prevails again. + + "So darkness struggles with the light, + Till perfect day arise; + Water and fire maintain the fight, + Until the weaker dies. + + "Thus will the flesh and spirit strive, + And vex and break my peace; + But I shall quit this mortal life, + And sin for ever cease." + + _______________ + + "Join all the names of love and power + That ever men or angels bore; + All are too mean to speak his worth, + Or set Emmanuel's glory forth. + + "But O, what condescending ways + He takes to teach his heavenly grace: + Mine eyes, with joy and wonder, see + What forms of love he bears for me. + + "The Angel of the covenant stands, + With his commission in his hands; + Sent from his Father's milder throne, + To make his great salvation known. + + "Great Prophet, let me bless thy name; + By thee the joyful tidings came, + Of wrath appeased and sins forgiven, + Of hell subdued, and peace with heaven. + + "My bright Example, and my Guide, + I would be walking by thy side; + Oh, let me never run astray, + Nor follow the forbidden way. + + "I love my Shepherd, he shall keep + My wandering soul among his sheep; + He feeds his flock, he tells their names, + And in his bosom bears the lambs. + + "My Surety undertakes my cause, + Answering his Father's broken laws: + Behold my soul at freedom set, + My Surety paid the dreadful debt. + + "Jesus, my great High-priest, has died, + I seek no sacrifice beside; + His blood did once for all atone, + And now it pleads before the throne. + + "My Advocate appears on high, + The Father lays his thunders by; + Not all that earth or hell can say, + Shall turn my Father's heart away. + + "My Lord, my Conqueror, and my King, + Thy sceptre and thy sword I sing; + Thine is the victory, and I sit + A joyful subject at thy feet. + + "Aspire, my soul, to glorious deeds, + The Captain of salvation leads; + March on, nor fear to win the day, + Though death and hell obstruct thy way. + + "Though death and hell, and powers unknown, + Put all their forms of mischief on, + I shall be safe, for Christ displays + Salvation in more sovereign ways." + + _______________ + + "Be this my one great business here, + With holy trembling, holy fear, + To make my calling sure; + Thine utmost counsel to fulfil, + And suffer all thy righteous will, + And to the end endure. + + "Then, Saviour, then my soul receive, + Transported from this vale, to live, + And reign with thee above: + Where faith is sweetly lost in sight, + And hope in full supreme delight, + And everlasting love." + + _______________ + + "Hush, my distrustful heart, + And cease to flow, my tears; + For greater, Lord, thou art + Than all my doubts and fears. + Did Jesus once upon me shine? + Then Jesus is for ever mine. + + "Unchangeable his will, + Whatever be my frame: + My Saviour's heart is still + Eternally the same. + My soul through many changes goes, + His love no variation knows. + + "Thou, Lord, wilt carry on, + And perfectly perform, + The work thou hast begun + In me, vile sinful worm. + Mine own self-will brings grief and woe, + But Jesus will not let me go. + + "The bowels of thy grace, + At first did freely move; + And still I see thy face, + And feel that God is love. + Into thine arms my soul I cast; + By sovereign mercy saved at last. + + "The Priest and Ark now move + To Jordan's gulfy strand; + Come now in covenant love, + Take firm thy promised stand: + Only to me thy countenance show, + I ask no more the Jordan through." + + _______________ + + "Come, let us join our cheerful songs + With angels round the throne; + Ten thousand thousand are their tongues, + But all their joys are one. + + "Worthy the Lamb that died, they cry, + To be exalted thus; + Worthy the Lamb, our souls reply, + For he was slain for us. + + "Jesus is worthy to receive + Honor and power divine; + And blessings, more than we can give, + Be, Lord, for ever thine. + + "The whole creation join in one, + To bless the sacred name + Of Him that sits upon the throne, + And to adore the Lamb." + + _______________ + + "Give me the wings of faith, to rise + Within the veil, and see + The saints above, how great their joys, + How bright their glories be. + + "Once they were mourners here below, + And wet their couch with tears; + They wrestled hard, as we do now, + With sins, and doubts, and fears. + + "I ask them whence their victory came: + They, with united breath, + Ascribe their conquest to the Lamb, + Their triumph to his death. + + "They marked the footsteps that he trod; + His zeal inspired their breast; + And following their incarnate God, + Possessed the promised rest. + + "Our glorious Leader claims our praise, + For his own pattern given; + While the long cloud of witnesses + Show the same path to heaven." + + _______________ + + "With heart and hands, and lifted eyes, + I'll praise thee while I've life and breath; + And, while my loosened spirit flies, + I'll gasp thy praise in very death. + + "Faith fain would say, in cheerful mood, + Thy name be glorified, + By leading through the swelling flood, + Or through the channel dried. + + "If grace in time of need I have, + And strength as is my day, + I'll triumph through the foaming wave, + As through the side-walled way." + + _______________ + + "I'll praise my Maker while I've breath; + And when my voice is lost in death, + Praise shall employ my noblest powers; + My days of praise shall ne'er be past, + "While life and thought and being last. + And immortality endures." + + _______________ + + "My God, indulge my humble claim; + Thou art my hope, my joy, my rest; + The glories that compose thy name + Stand all engaged to make me blest. + + "Thou great and good, thou just and wise, + Thou art my Father and my God; + And I am thine by sacred ties, + Thy child, thy servant, bought with blood. + + "With heart, and eyes, and lifted hands, + For thee I long, to thee I look; + As travellers in thirsty lands + Pant for the cooling water-brook." + + _______________ + + "Jesus, the weary wanderer's rest, + Give grace thy sovereign will to bear; + With steadfast patience arm my breast, + With holy love and lowly fear. + + "Thankful, I take the cup from thee, + Prepared and mingled by thy skill; + Though bitter to the taste it be, + It has a sovereign power to heal. + + "Be thou a Rock of ages nigh; + My saved soul on thee alone + Shall safely rest, and fears shall fly, + As clouds before the mid-day sun. + + "Speak to my troubled conscience peace; + Say to my trembling heart, Be still; + My power thy strength and fortress is. + Amen, to all thy sovereign will. + + "O Death, where is thy sting? where now + Thy boasted victory, O grave? + Who shall contend with God, or who + Condemn whom he delights to save." + + _______________ + + "How sweet the name of Jesus sounds + In a believer's ear: + It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds, + And drives away his fear. + + "It makes the wounded spirit whole, + And calms the troubled breast; + 'Tis manna to the hungry soul, + And to the weary, rest. + + "Dear Name, the Rock on which I build, + My Shield and Hiding-place; + My never failing Treasury, filled + With boundless stores of grace: + + "Jesus, my Shepherd, Husband, Friend, + My Prophet, Priest, and King, + My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End, + Accept the praise I bring. + + "Weak is the effort of my heart, + And cold my warmest thought; + But when I see thee as thou art, + I'll praise thee as I ought. + + "Till then I would thy love proclaim + With every fleeting breath; + And may the music of thy name + Refresh my soul in death." + + _______________ + + "Amazing grace! how sweet the sound + That saved a wretch like me: + I once was lost, but now am found; + Was blind, but now I see. + + "'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, + And grace my fears relieved: + How precious did that grace appear + The hour I first believed. + + "Through many dangers, toils, and snares, + Already I have come: + 'Twas grace that brought me safe thus far, + And grace will lead me home. + + "Yes, when this heart and flesh shall fail, + And mortal life shall cease, + I shall possess, within the veil, + A life of joy and peace." + + A swelling Jordan rolls between-- + A timid pilgrim, I; + But grace shall order all the scene, + And Christ himself be nigh. + + He shall roll back the foaming wave, + Command the channel dry; + No sting has death, no victory grave? + With Jesus in my eye. + + "Come, thou Fount of every blessing, + Tune my heart to sing thy grace; + Streams of mercy, never ceasing, + Call for songs of endless praise. + + "Teach me some melodious sonnet, + Sung by flaming tongues above; + Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it-- + Mount of God's unchanging love. + + "Here I raise my Ebenezer, + Hither by thy help I'm come, + And I hope, by thy good pleasure, + Safely to arrive at home. + + "Jesus sought me when a stranger, + Wandering from the fold of God; + He, to save my soul from danger, + Interposed with precious blood. + + "Oh, to grace how great a debtor + Daily I'm constrained to be: + Let that grace, Lord, like a fetter, + Bind my wandering heart to thee. + + "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, + Prone to leave the God I love; + Here's my heart, O take and seal it, + Seal it from thy courts above." + + _______________ + + Eternal God, I bless thy name, + The same thy power, thy grace the same; + The tokens of thy friendly care + Open and crown and close the year. + + I mid ten thousand dangers stand, + Supported by thy gracious hand; + And see, when I survey thy ways, + Ten thousand monuments of grace. + + Thus far thine arm has led me on; + Thus far I make thy mercy known; + And while I tread this desert land, + New mercies shall new songs demand. + + My grateful soul on Jordan's shore + Shall raise one sacred pillar more; + Then bear, in thy bright courts above, + Inscriptions of immortal love. + + _______________ + + No works to rest upon have I, + No boast of moral dignity; + If e'er I lisp a song of praise, + Grace is the note my soul shall raise. + + 'Twas grace that quickened me when dead; + 'Twas grace my soul to Jesus led, + Grace brings me pardon for my sin, + And grace subdues my lusts within. + + 'Tis grace that sweetens every cross, + 'Tis grace supports in every loss; + In Jesus' grace my soul is strong, + Grace is my hope, and Christ my song. + + Thus, 'tis alone of grace I boast, + And 'tis alone in grace I trust: + For all that's past, grace is my theme, + For what's to come 'tis still the same. + + And when I come to Jordan's shore, + I'll raise one Ebenezer more; + Th' ark of the covenant in my view, + I'll sing of grace the Jordan through. + + _______________ + + "Is this the kind return, + Are these the thanks we owe-- + Thus to abuse eternal love, + Whence all our blessings flow? + + "To what a stubborn frame + Has sin reduced our mind! + What strange rebellious wretches we, + And God as strangely kind! + + "Turn, turn us, mighty God! + And mould our souls afresh; + Break, sovereign grace, these hearts of stone, + And give us hearts of flesh. + + "Let past ingratitude + Provoke our weeping eyes; + And hourly, as new mercies fall, + Let hourly thanks arise." + + _______________ + + "O the sweet wonders of that cross, + Where Christ my Saviour loved and died; + Her noblest life my spirit draws, + From his dear wounds and bleeding side. + + "I would for ever speak his name, + In sounds to mortal ears unknown; + With angels join to praise the Lamb, + And worship at his Father's throne." + + _______________ + + "Jesus, the vision of thy face + Hath overpowering charms; + Scarce shall I feel death's cold embrace, + If Christ be in my arms." + + _______________ + + "O glorious hour! O blest abode! + I shall be near and like my God; + And flesh and sin no more control + The sacred pleasures of my soul." + + "When in death's gloomy vale I tread, + With joy e'en there I'll lift my head; + From fear and dread he'll keep me free, + His rod and staff shall comfort me." + + _______________ + + "Jesus, to thy dear faithful hand + My naked soul I trust; + My flesh but waits for thy command, + To drop into the dust." + + _______________ + + "Before we quite forsake our clay, + Or leave this dark abode, + The wings of love bear us away + To see our smiling God." + + _______________ + + "O make it true, my Saviour God; + Raise me all fears above; + And when I think on Jesus' blood, + Let my last pulse beat love." + + _______________ + + "O for an overcoming faith, + To cheer my dying hours; + To triumph o'er the monster Death, + And all his frightful powers. + + "Joyful, with all the strength I have, + My quivering lips should sing, + 'Where is thy boasted victory, Grave, + And where the monster's sting?' + + "If sin be pardoned, I'm secure; + Death has no sting beside; + The law gives sin its damning power, + But Christ, my Ransom, died. + + "Now to the God of victory, + Immortal thanks be paid; + Who makes us conquerors while we die, + Through Christ, our living Head." + + _______________ + + All mortal vanities be gone, + Nor tempt mine eyes, nor tire mine ears; + Behold, amidst the eternal throne, + A vision of the Lamb appears. + + All the assembling saints around, + Fall worshipping before the Lamb; + And in new songs of gospel sound, + Address their honors to his name. + + Our voices join the heavenly strain, + And with transporting pleasure sing, + Worthy the Lamb that once was slain, + Our blessed Prophet, Priest, and King. + + Thou hast redeemed our souls from hell, + With thine invaluable blood; + And wretches, that did once rebel, + Are now made fav'rites of their God. + + Worthy for ever is the Lord, + That died for treasons not his own, + By every tongue to be adored, + And dwell upon his Father's throne. + + _______________ + + THE NEW TESTAMENT IN THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. + + "The promise of my Father's love, + Shall stand for ever good; + He said, and gave his soul to death, + And sealed it with his blood. + + "To this dear covenant of thy word, + I set my worthless name; + I seal the engagement of the Lord, + And make my humble claim. + + "The light, and strength, and pardoning grace, + And glory shall be mine; + My life and soul, my heart and flesh, + And all my powers are thine. + + "I call that legacy mine own, + Which Jesus did bequeath; + 'Twas purchased with a dying groan, + And ratified in death. + + "Sweet is the memory of His name, + Who blessed us in his will: + And to his testament of love + Made his own life the seal. + + "To him that washed me in his blood, + Be everlasting praise; + Salvation, honor, glory, power, + Eternal as his days." + + _______________ + + "Blest be the Father, and his love, + To which celestial source we owe + Rivers of endless joys above, + And rills of comfort here below. + + "Glory to the great Son of God; + From his dear wounded body rolls + A precious stream of vital blood, + Pardon and life for dying souls. + + "We give thee, sacred Spirit, praise, + Who in our hearts of sin and woe + Mak'st living springs of grace arise, + And into boundless glory flow. + + "Thus God the Father, God the Son, + And God the Spirit, we adore; + The sea of life and love unknown, + Without a bottom or a shore." + + _______________ + + "Let me but hear my Saviour say, + Strength shall be equal to thy day; + Then I rejoice in deep distress, + Leaning on all-sufficient grace. + + "I glory in infirmity, + That Christ's own power may rest on me: + When I am weak, then am I strong; + Grace is my shield, and Christ my song. + + "I can do all things, or can bear + All sufferings, if my Lord be there; + Sweet pleasures mingle with the pains, + While his strong hand my head sustains. + + "Faith has an overcoming power, + It triumphs in the dying hour; + Christ is our life, our joy, our hope, + Nor can we sink with such a prop." + + _______________ + + "Jesus, I love thy charming name, + 'Tis music to mine ear; + Fain would I sound it out so loud + That heaven and earth should hear. + + "Yes, thou art precious to my soul, + My transport and my trust; + My Saviour, Shepherd, Husband, Friend, + No other good I boast. + + "All my capacious powers can wish, + In thee doth richly meet; + Not to mine eye is light so dear, + Nor friendship half so sweet. + + "Thy grace still dwells upon my heart, + And sheds its fragrance there: + The noblest balm of all my wounds, + The cordial of my care. + + "I'll speak the honors of thy name + With my last faltering breath; + Then speechless clasp thee in my arms, + The antidote of death." + + _______________ + + "Grace, 'tis a charming sound, + Harmonious to my ear; + Heaven with the echo shall resound, + And all the earth shall hear. + + "Grace first contrived the way + To save rebellious man; + And all the steps _that_ grace display, + Which drew the wondrous plan. + + "Grace taught my wandering feet + To tread the heavenly road; + And new supplies each hour I meet, + While pressing on to God. + + "Grace all the work shall crown, + Through everlasting days; + It lays in heaven the topmost stone, + And well deserves the praise." + + _______________ + + "My God, the spring of all my joys, + The life of my delights, + The glory of my brightest days, + And comfort of my nights: + + "In darkest shades, if thou appear, + My dawning is begun; + Thou art my soul's sweet Morning-star, + And thou my rising Sun. + + "The opening heavens around me shine + With beams of sacred bliss, + While Jesus shows his heart is mine, + And whispers I am his. + + "My soul would leave this heavy clay, + At that transporting word; + Run up with joy the shining way, + T' embrace my dearest Lord. + + "Fearless of hell and ghastly death, + I'd break through every foe; + The wings of love, and arms of faith, + Should bear me conqueror through." + + _______________ + + "Backward with humble shame I look, + On my original; + How is my nature dashed and broke, + In our first father's fall. + + "To all that's good averse and blind, + But prone to all that's ill; + What dreadful darkness veils my mind, + How obstinate my will. + + "Conceived in sin: O wretched state; + Before I drew my breath, + My first young pulse began to beat + Iniquity and death. + + "How strong in my degenerate blood + The old corruption reigns; + And mingling with the crooked flood, + Wanders through all my veins. + + "Yet, mighty God, thy wondrous love + Can make my nature clean; + While Christ and grace prevail above + The tempter, death, and sin. + + "The second Adam shall restore + The ruins of the first; + Hosanna to that sovereign power, + That new-creates our dust." + + _______________ + + JORDAN.* + + Joshua 1:11, chapter 3; Psalm 23:4; 73:24. + +*The three following effusions by Mrs. Graham, constituting a + part of her "Provision," were found in a separate paper after her + funeral sermon was preached. The hymn of Newton which she had annexed + to the first, was selected by Dr. Mason and sung on that occasion; and + the circumstances described at the beginning of the third, page 434, + occurred at her death, as narrated in the memoir, though the existence + of this paper was then unknown. + + The solemn hour, my soul, draws near, + The holy ark and priests appear; + They forward move to Jordan's flood, + The type, thou knowest, thy covenant God. + + The signal too to thee is known; + Obey, remove, and follow on; + The ark appears, thy hallowed guide; + Shrink not, but face the rolling tide. + + The waves toss high their foaming heads, + But can'st thou perish? Jesus leads. + This way before I ne'er did pass, + But Jesus thy forerunner has. + + When all its banks it overflowed, + All nature wrapt in midnight cloud; + While darkness held its awful power, + And all God's billows passed him o'er. + + The waves for him must not divide, + Deep calls to deep on every side; + Around his head the surges roll, + And rush into his inmost soul. + + He was the sufferer in my stead, + The curse for sin lay on his head; + The law's demands came like a flood, + My Surety met them with his blood. + + Till every tittle had been paid, + Till due atonement had been made, + No beam appeared of heavenly grace, + A cloud concealed his Father's face. + + From brim to bottom he drank up + Of wrath the deep mysterious cup; + This Jordan passed, he rose on high, + And captive led captivity. + + Justice now fully satisfied, + The law now honored, magnified, + At God's right hand he takes his place, + Executor of covenant grace. + + Crowned by Jehovah's firm decree + With universal sovereignty, + All nature owns his powerful sway-- + He speaks, the elements obey. + + The emblem then thou may'st pursue, + And safely pass this Jordan through; + The priests but touch the watery space, + When, lo, the floods desert their place. + + They gather up upon a heap, + Leave dry the channel of the deep; + The ark and priests there take their stand, + And beckon thee to leave the land. + + I come, my best Beloved, I come; + Now lead me to our Father's home; + On thy dear person fix mine eye, + And faith firm footing shall supply. + + I fear no ill while thou art near; + But let thy voice salute my ear, + Should spirits faint and 'scape the sigh, + With these sweet words, "Fear not; 'tis I." + + With courage fresh my soul shall tread + On faith's firm ground where thou dost lead; + While still upon thy gracious face + My steady eye maintains its place. + + And now, my Joshua, choose, and lay + The stones in Jordan's middle way; + Let them o'ertop the flowing wave, + Memorial of thy power to save. + + For, once a suit I did prefer, + With feeble hope and trembling fear, + That I might have a Pisgah view, + In Jordan's swells, of Canaan new. + + Thy softened glory let me see, + Then cause thy face to shine on me; + And tune my heart, and tune my voice, + And language furnish to rejoice. + + That all around may lend their tongue, + And sweetly join my dying song; + Then, Newton, saved by grace like me, + We'll sing of sovereign grace with thee. + + _______________ + + *"Let us love, and sing, and wonder, + Let us praise the Saviour's name; + He has hushed the law's loud thunder, + He has quenched mount Sinai's flame; + He has washed us in his blood, + He has brought us nigh to God. + +*Olney Hymns, 82, book 3. + + "Let us love the Lord who bought us, + Pitied us when enemies; + Called us by his grace, and taught us; + Gave us ears, and gave us eyes: + He has wafted us in his blood, + He presents our souls to God. + + "Let us sing, though strong temptation + Threaten hard to bear us down: + For the Lord, our strong salvation, + Holds in view the conqueror's crown, + He who washed us in his blood, + Soon shall bring us home to God. + + "Let us wonder, grace and justice + Join and point to mercy's store; + When through grace, in Christ our trust is, + Justice smiles, and asks no more. + He who washed us in his blood, + Has secured our way to God. + + "Let us praise, and join the chorus + Of the saints enthroned on high; + Here they trusted him before us, + Now their praises fill the sky. + Thou hast washed us in thy blood, + Thou art worthy, Lamb of God. + + "Hark, the name of Jesus sounded + Loud from golden harps above; + On that rock our hopes are founded; + Sovereign grace, and sovereign love. + We shall conquer through his blood, + Kings and priests be made to God." + NEWTON + + + HEAVEN. + + To be where thou my Saviour art, + To see, and be conformed to thee, + Perfect in holiness this heart; + _This; this_ is heaven itself to me. + + To see thee in thy glory, Lord, + Thy Father's glory and thy own; + The eternal, the incarnate Word, + Adored upon his Father's throne. + + To see as seen, to know as known, + My Saviour in my flesh and blood; + To be made like him, with him one, + I in him, and he in God. + + The holy, holy, holy One, + Who was, and is, and is to come, + The earth his footstool, heaven his throne, + The church his bride, he her Bridegroom. + + Angels and elders, earth and heaven, + Are summoned to unseal the book; + But silent all, no answer given, + None worthy found therein to look. + + But Judah's Lion, David's Son, + And David's Root, the great I AM, + Appears upon his Father's throne, + As slain for sacrifice, the Lamb. + + He takes the book he can unseal; + He worthy is, and he has power + God's secret counsels to reveal, + And to fulfil each in its hour. + + The heavenly host united fall + In humble worship at his feet; + One glorious theme inspires them all, + The joy is full, the concert sweet. + + New odors to the throne ascend, + In accents new their praises soar; + Each finds in each a glowing friend, + And all the God of all adore. + + And shall I join that prostrate throng, + In love's ecstatic heaven-taught lays, + With powers expanded, that new song + Hymn to the Lamb's exalted praise? + + "Worthy art thou to take the book, + And loose the seals, and read therein, + God's holy mysteries to unlock; + Worthy art thou, for thou wast slain. + + "Thou hast redeemed us with thy blood, + From every nation of the earth; + And made us kings and priests to God, + And sharers of a heavenly birth." + + Myriads of angels stand around, + Uniting in the loud acclaim; + And fill the temple with the sound + Of our Redeemer's gentle name. + + "Worthy the Lamb that once was slain, + A sacrifice for every sin, + All power and glory to obtain, + And universal empire win." + + Heaven, earth, and sea shall swell the tone + Of fervent universal praise; + And grateful joy around the throne, + Its voice from age to age shall raise. + + In all these myriads, is there one + Who had on earth so much forgiven? + And shall I reach their highest tone + Of love to Jesus? THIS IS HEAVEN. + + And when this breast to heave shall cease, + And heart and lungs are hushed to peace, + Some friendly hand the eyelids close, + And leave the clay to short repose. + + Still on your knees be thanks expressed, + According as the Lord has blessed; + This tongue, then mute, can now foretell + Jesus shall have done all things well. + + Should the great Sovereign will it so, + That I in secret with him go, + 'T will be enough that He stands by, + He all my wants will well supply. + + Upon his dear, his faithful breast, + My heart and head shall safely rest; + The fluttering pulse and bursting sigh, + He'll soothe with, "Fear not; it is I." + + Into his hands my spirit I'll breathe, + Inhaling life from him in death; + Though none should see, faith can foretell + My Jesus shall do all things well. + + Though he deny my half-formed prayer, + Well may I cast on Him my care; + All things are mine, or life or death; + In praise of Him I'll spend my breath. + + Be this my only wish beside, + That God's great name be glorified, + What me concerns faith can foretell, + My Jesus shall do all things well. + + + WIDOWHOOD. + + WRITTEN IN THE ISLAND OF ANTIGUA + SHORTLY AFTER DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH. + + PART I. + + Hail; thou state of widowhood, + State of those that mourn to God; + Who, from earthly comforts torn, + Only live to pray and mourn. + + Meanest of the number, I + For my dear companion sigh; + Patiently my loss deplore, + Mourn for one that mourns no more. + + Me my consort hath outrun, + Out of sight he quite has gone; + He his course has finished here, + First come to the sepulchre. + + Following on with earnest haste, + Till my mourning days are past, + I my partner's steps pursue, + I shall soon be happy too; + + Find the ease for which I pant, + Gain the only good I want; + Quietly lay down my head, + Sink into my earthy bed. + + There my flesh shall rest in hope, + Till the quickened dust mount up, + When to glorious life I'll rise, + To meet my husband in the skies. + + + PART II. + + Happy they who trust in Jesus, + Jesus turns our loss to gain; + Still his balmy mercies ease us, + Sweeten all our grief and pain. + + When he calls our friends t' inherit + All the glories of the blest, + He assures the widowed spirit, + "Thou shalt quickly be at rest." + + Though my flesh and spirit languish, + Let me not too much complain; + Sure at last t' outlive my anguish, + Sure to find my friend again. + + Ransomed from a world of sorrow, + He to-day is taken home; + I shall be released to-morrow-- + Come, my dear Redeemer, come. + + From my sanctified distresses, + Now, or when thou wilt, receive; + Grant with him in thine embraces, + After all my deaths, to live. + + + PART III. + + Hail, holy, holy, holy Lord, + Mysterious Three in One! + For ever be thy name adored, + Thy will for ever done. + + For this alone on earth I wait, + To glorify my God; + And suffer, since thou will'st, the state + Of sacred widowhood. + + And may I, in thy strength, fulfil + My awful character; + And prove thine acceptable will, + And do thy pleasure here; + + The children to thyself restore, + Whom thou to me hast given; + And rule my house with all my power, + And train them up for heaven. + + Be this my hospitable care: + The stranger to receive, + The burden of thy church to bear, + And all their wants relieve; + + My labor of unwearied love + With pleasure to repeat, + My faith unto thy saints to prove, + And gladly wash their feet. + + The servant of thy servants bless + With active earnest zeal; + And every work of righteousness + I shall with joy fulfil. + + + LINES, + +Occasioned by viewing the portrait of Mrs. Graham, prefixed to the + first edition of her memoir. By the late Mrs. Margaret Brown, + daughter of Rev. Dr. John Mason. + + While in this faded form I trace + The features which I loved so well, + Remembrance brings each mental grace + Within its hallowed shrine to dwell. + + For I have seen that darkened eye + In all the fire of genius roll, + With eagle-gaze explore the sky, + Or with a keener glance descry + The secret workings of the soul. + + And I have seen this pallid cheek + Suffused with feeling's richest glow; + And virtue's brightest halo deck + With sacred charms these locks of snow. + + And on these lips in silence closed, + With rapt attention oft I hung, + And heard those wondrous truths disclosed + Which sages taught or seraphs sung. + + And I have known this withered hand + Extended wide the poor to bless; + And this contracted breast expand + With generous schemes to aid distress. + + And now, though far removed from earth + And every scene of mortal pain, + This dear memorial of her worth + Shall many a drooping heart sustain. + + Still shall it dry the widow's tear, + The hapless orphan's want supply, + Guide to a blessed asylum here, + And point to happier realms on high. + + My father's friend--how poor the praise, + By his unworthy offspring given, + Who thus records, in humble lays, + What angels registered in heaven. + +FRANKFORT, Kentucky, August, 1816. + + + + + One hundred dollars was paid by John W. Hamersley, Esq. of New +York, towards perpetuating this volume. + + + + + The American Tract Society, + + PUBLISH + + THE RELIGIOUS (OR PASTOR'S) LIBRARY, + +Comprising 25 standard volumes 12mo, at $10. Including some of +the best practical works of the 17th century; THE EVIDENCES OF +CHRISTIANITY; CHRISTIAN MEMOIRS; and D'AUBIGNES HISTORY OF THE +REFORMATION. + + THE EVANGELICAL FAMILY LIBRARY, + +Of 15 volumes, 18mo, price $5 50; with 21 additional volumes, +bound to match this library. Price of the 36 volumes, $13 00. + + THE YOUTH'S LIBRARY, + +Of 70 volumes, at $10, comprising Hannah More's CHEAP REPOSITORY, +8 volumes, and an invaluable collection of reading for the young; with +255 highly finished engravings. + + BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED BOOKS FOR CHILDREN, + +In neatly enveloped packets; or bound in attractive CHILDREN'S +LIBRARIES. 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