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diff --git a/1729.txt b/1729.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f6dec5f --- /dev/null +++ b/1729.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2067 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Deserted Woman, by Honore de Balzac + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Deserted Woman + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Ellen Marriage + +Release Date: May, 1999 [Etext #1729] +Posting Date: March 1, 2010 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DESERTED WOMAN *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + + + + + +THE DESERTED WOMAN + + +By Honore De Balzac + + + +Translated by Ellen Marriage + + + + + + DEDICATION + + To Her Grace the Duchesse d'Abrantes, + from her devoted servant, + Honore de Balzac. + PARIS, August 1835. + + + + + +THE DESERTED WOMAN + + +In the early spring of 1822, the Paris doctors sent to Lower Normandy a +young man just recovering from an inflammatory complaint, brought on by +overstudy, or perhaps by excess of some other kind. His convalescence +demanded complete rest, a light diet, bracing air, and freedom from +excitement of every kind, and the fat lands of Bessin seemed to offer +all these conditions of recovery. To Bayeux, a picturesque place about +six miles from the sea, the patient therefore betook himself, and was +received with the cordiality characteristic of relatives who lead very +retired lives, and regard a new arrival as a godsend. + +All little towns are alike, save for a few local customs. When M. le +Baron Gaston de Nueil, the young Parisian in question, had spent two or +three evenings in his cousin's house, or with the friends who made up +Mme. de Sainte-Severe's circle, he very soon had made the acquaintance +of the persons whom this exclusive society considered to be "the +whole town." Gaston de Nueil recognized in them the invariable stock +characters which every observer finds in every one of the many capitals +of the little States which made up the France of an older day. + +First of all comes the family whose claims to nobility are regarded as +incontestable, and of the highest antiquity in the department, though no +one has so much as heard of them a bare fifty leagues away. This +species of royal family on a small scale is distantly, but unmistakably, +connected with the Navarreins and the Grandlieu family, and related to +the Cadignans, and the Blamont-Chauvrys. The head of the illustrious +house is invariably a determined sportsman. He has no manners, crushes +everybody else with his nominal superiority, tolerates the sub-prefect +much as he submits to the taxes, and declines to acknowledge any of the +novel powers created by the nineteenth century, pointing out to you as +a political monstrosity the fact that the prime minister is a man of no +birth. His wife takes a decided tone, and talks in a loud voice. She has +had adorers in her time, but takes the sacrament regularly at Easter. +She brings up her daughters badly, and is of the opinion that they will +always be rich enough with their name. + +Neither husband nor wife has the remotest idea of modern luxury. They +retain a livery only seen elsewhere on the stage, and cling to old +fashions in plate, furniture, and equipages, as in language and manner +of life. This is a kind of ancient state, moreover, that suits passably +well with provincial thrift. The good folk are, in fact, the lords of +the manor of a bygone age, _minus_ the quitrents and heriots, the pack +of hounds and the laced coats; full of honor among themselves, and one +and all loyally devoted to princes whom they only see at a distance. +The historical house _incognito_ is as quaint a survival as a piece of +ancient tapestry. Vegetating somewhere among them there is sure to be +an uncle or a brother, a lieutenant-general, an old courtier of the +Kings's, who wears the red ribbon of the order of Saint-Louis, and went +to Hanover with the Marechal de Richelieu: and here you will find him +like a stray leaf out of some old pamphlet of the time of Louis Quinze. + +This fossil greatness finds a rival in another house, wealthier, though +of less ancient lineage. Husband and wife spend a couple of months of +every winter in Paris, bringing back with them its frivolous tone and +short-lived contemporary crazes. Madame is a woman of fashion, though +she looks rather conscious of her clothes, and is always behind the +mode. She scoffs, however, at the ignorance affected by her neighbors. +_Her_ plate is of modern fashion; she has "grooms," Negroes, a +valet-de-chambre, and what-not. Her oldest son drives a tilbury, and +does nothing (the estate is entailed upon him), his younger brother is +auditor to a Council of State. The father is well posted up in official +scandals, and tells you anecdotes of Louis XVIII. and Madame du Cayla. +He invests his money in the five per cents, and is careful to avoid the +topic of cider, but has been known occasionally to fall a victim to the +craze for rectifying the conjectural sums-total of the various fortunes +of the department. He is a member of the Departmental Council, has +his clothes from Paris, and wears the Cross of the Legion of Honor. In +short, he is a country gentleman who has fully grasped the significance +of the Restoration, and is coining money at the Chamber, but his +Royalism is less pure than that of the rival house; he takes +the _Gazette_ and the _Debats_, the other family only read the +_Quotidienne_. + +His lordship the Bishop, a sometime Vicar-General, fluctuates between +the two powers, who pay him the respect due to religion, but at times +they bring home to him the moral appended by the worthy Lafontaine +to the fable of the _Ass laden with Relics_. The good man's origin is +distinctly plebeian. + +Then come stars of the second magnitude, men of family with ten or +twelve hundred livres a year, captains in the navy or cavalry regiments, +or nothing at all. Out on the roads, on horseback, they rank half-way +between the cure bearing the sacraments and the tax collector on his +rounds. Pretty nearly all of them have been in the Pages or in +the Household Troops, and now are peaceably ending their days in a +_faisance-valoir_, more interested in felling timber and the cider +prospects than in the Monarchy. + +Still they talk of the Charter and the Liberals while the cards are +making, or over a game at backgammon, when they have exhausted the +usual stock of _dots_, and have married everybody off according to the +genealogies which they all know by heart. Their womenkind are haughty +dames, who assume the airs of Court ladies in their basket chaises. They +huddle themselves up in shawls and caps by way of full dress; and twice +a year, after ripe deliberation, have a new bonnet from Paris, brought +as opportunity offers. Exemplary wives are they for the most part, and +garrulous. + +These are the principal elements of aristocratic gentility, with a +few outlying old maids of good family, spinsters who have solved the +problem: given a human being, to remain absolutely stationary. They +might be sealed up in the houses where you see them; their faces and +their dresses are literally part of the fixtures of the town, and the +province in which they dwell. They are its tradition, its memory, its +quintessence, the _genius loci_ incarnate. There is something frigid and +monumental about these ladies; they know exactly when to laugh and when +to shake their heads, and every now and then give out some utterance +which passes current as a witticism. + +A few rich townspeople have crept into the miniature Faubourg +Saint-Germain, thanks to their money or their aristocratic leanings. +But despite their forty years, the circle still say of them, "Young +So-and-so has sound opinions," and of such do they make deputies. As a +rule, the elderly spinsters are their patronesses, not without comment. + +Finally, in this exclusive little set include two or three +ecclesiastics, admitted for the sake of their cloth, or for their wit; +for these great nobles find their own society rather dull, and introduce +the bourgeois element into their drawing-rooms, as a baker puts leaven +into his dough. + +The sum-total contained by all heads put together consists of a certain +quantity of antiquated notions; a few new inflections brewed in company +of an evening being added from time to time to the common stock. Like +sea-water in a little creek, the phrases which represent these ideas +surge up daily, punctually obeying the tidal laws of conversation in +their flow and ebb; you hear the hollow echo of yesterday, to-day, +to-morrow, a year hence, and for evermore. On all things here below they +pass immutable judgments, which go to make up a body of tradition into +which no power of mortal man can infuse one drop of wit or sense. The +lives of these persons revolve with the regularity of clockwork in an +orbit of use and wont which admits of no more deviation or change than +their opinions on matters religious, political, moral, or literary. + +If a stranger is admitted to the _cenacle_, every member of it in +turn will say (not without a trace of irony), "You will not find the +brilliancy of your Parisian society here," and proceed forthwith to +criticise the life led by his neighbors, as if he himself were an +exception who had striven, and vainly striven, to enlighten the rest. +But any stranger so ill advised as to concur in any of their freely +expressed criticism of each other, is pronounced at once to be an +ill-natured person, a heathen, an outlaw, a reprobate Parisian "as +Parisians mostly are." + +Before Gaston de Nueil made his appearance in this little world of +strictly observed etiquette, where every detail of life is an integrant +part of a whole, and everything is known; where the values of personalty +and real estate is quoted like stocks on the vast sheet of the +newspaper--before his arrival he had been weighed in the unerring scales +of Bayeusaine judgment. + +His cousin, Mme. de Sainte-Severe, had already given out the amount of +his fortune, and the sum of his expectations, had produced the family +tree, and expatiated on the talents, breeding, and modesty of this +particular branch. So he received the precise amount of attentions +to which he was entitled; he was accepted as a worthy scion of a good +stock; and, for he was but twenty-three, was made welcome without +ceremony, though certain young ladies and mothers of daughters looked +not unkindly upon him. + +He had an income of eighteen thousand livres from land in the valley of +the Auge; and sooner or later his father, as in duty bound, would leave +him the chateau of Manerville, with the lands thereunto belonging. +As for his education, political career, personal qualities, and +qualifications--no one so much as thought of raising the questions. His +land was undeniable, his rentals steady; excellent plantations had been +made; the tenants paid for repairs, rates, and taxes; the apple-trees +were thirty-eight years old; and, to crown all, his father was in treaty +for two hundred acres of woodland just outside the paternal park, which +he intended to enclose with walls. No hopes of a political career, no +fame on earth, can compare with such advantages as these. + +Whether out of malice or design, Mme. de Sainte-Severe omitted to +mention that Gaston had an elder brother; nor did Gaston himself say a +word about him. But, at the same time, it is true that the brother +was consumptive, and to all appearance would shortly be laid in earth, +lamented and forgotten. + +At first Gaston de Nueil amused himself at the expense of the circle. He +drew, as it were, for his mental album, a series of portraits of these +folk, with their angular, wrinkled faces, and hooked noses, their +crotchets and ludicrous eccentricities of dress, portraits which +possessed all the racy flavor of truth. He delighted in their +"Normanisms," in the primitive quaintness of their ideas and characters. +For a short time he flung himself into their squirrel's life of busy +gyrations in a cage. Then he began to feel the want of variety, and grew +tired of it. It was like the life of the cloister, cut short before it +had well begun. He drifted on till he reached a crisis, which is neither +spleen nor disgust, but combines all the symptoms of both. When a human +being is transplanted into an uncongenial soil, to lead a starved, +stunted existence, there is always a little discomfort over the +transition. Then, gradually, if nothing removes him from his +surroundings, he grows accustomed to them, and adapts himself to the +vacuity which grows upon him and renders him powerless. Even now, +Gaston's lungs were accustomed to the air; and he was willing to discern +a kind of vegetable happiness in days that brought no mental exertion +and no responsibilities. The constant stirring of the sap of life, the +fertilizing influences of mind on mind, after which he had sought so +eagerly in Paris, were beginning to fade from his memory, and he was in +a fair way of becoming a fossil with these fossils, and ending his +days among them, content, like the companions of Ulysses, in his gross +envelope. + +One evening Gaston de Nueil was seated between a dowager and one of the +vicars-general of the diocese, in a gray-paneled drawing-room, floored +with large white tiles. The family portraits which adorned the walls +looked down upon four card-tables, and some sixteen persons gathered +about them, chattering over their whist. Gaston, thinking of nothing, +digesting one of those exquisite dinners to which the provincial looks +forward all through the day, found himself justifying the customs of the +country. + +He began to understand why these good folk continued to play with +yesterday's pack of cards and shuffle them on a threadbare tablecloth, +and how it was that they had ceased to dress for themselves or others. +He saw the glimmerings of something like a philosophy in the even tenor +of their perpetual round, in the calm of their methodical monotony, in +their ignorance of the refinements of luxury. Indeed, he almost came +to think that luxury profited nothing; and even now, the city of Paris, +with its passions, storms, and pleasures, was scarcely more than a +memory of childhood. + +He admired in all sincerity the red hands, and shy, bashful manner +of some young lady who at first struck him as an awkward simpleton, +unattractive to the last degree, and surprisingly ridiculous. His doom +was sealed. He had gone from the provinces to Paris; he had led the +feverish life of Paris; and now he would have sunk back into the +lifeless life of the provinces, but for a chance remark which reached +his ear--a few words that called up a swift rush of such emotion as +he might have felt when a strain of really good music mingles with the +accompaniment of some tedious opera. + +"You went to call on Mme. de Beauseant yesterday, did you not?" The +speaker was an elderly lady, and she addressed the head of the local +royal family. + +"I went this morning. She was so poorly and depressed, that I could not +persuade her to dine with us to-morrow." + +"With Mme. de Champignelles?" exclaimed the dowager with something like +astonishment in her manner. + +"With my wife," calmly assented the noble. "Mme. de Beauseant is +descended from the House of Burgundy, on the spindle side, 'tis true, +but the name atones for everything. My wife is very much attached to +the Vicomtesse, and the poor lady has lived alone for such a long while, +that----" + +The Marquis de Champignelles looked round about him while he spoke with +an air of cool unconcern, so that it was almost impossible to guess +whether he made a concession to Mme. de Beauseant's misfortunes, or paid +homage to her noble birth; whether he felt flattered to receive her in +his house, or, on the contrary, sheer pride was the motive that led him +to try to force the country families to meet the Vicomtesse. + +The women appeared to take counsel of each other by a glance; there was +a sudden silence in the room, and it was felt that their attitude was +one of disapproval. + +"Does this Mme. de Beauseant happen to be the lady whose adventure with +M. d'Ajuda-Pinto made so much noise?" asked Gaston of his neighbor. + +"The very same," he was told. "She came to Courcelles after the marriage +of the Marquis d'Ajuda; nobody visits her. She has, besides, too much +sense not to see that she is in a false position, so she has made no +attempt to see any one. M. de Champignelles and a few gentlemen went to +call upon her, but she would see no one but M. de Champignelles, perhaps +because he is a connection of the family. They are related through +the Beauseants; the father of the present Vicomte married a Mlle. +de Champignelles of the older branch. But though the Vicomtesse de +Beauseant is supposed to be a descendant of the House of Burgundy, you +can understand that we could not admit a wife separated from her husband +into our society here. We are foolish enough still to cling to these +old-fashioned ideas. There was the less excuse for the Vicomtesse, +because M. de Beauseant is a well-bred man of the world, who would have +been quite ready to listen to reason. But his wife is quite mad----" and +so forth and so forth. + +M. de Nueil, still listening to the speaker's voice, gathered nothing of +the sense of the words; his brain was too full of thick-coming fancies. +Fancies? What other name can you give to the alluring charms of an +adventure that tempts the imagination and sets vague hopes springing up +in the soul; to the sense of coming events and mysterious felicity and +fear at hand, while as yet there is no substance of fact on which these +phantoms of caprice can fix and feed? Over these fancies thought hovers, +conceiving impossible projects, giving in the germ all the joys of love. +Perhaps, indeed, all passion is contained in that thought-germ, as the +beauty, and fragrance, and rich color of the flower is all packed in the +seed. + +M. de Nueil did not know that Mme. de Beauseant had taken refuge in +Normandy, after a notoriety which women for the most part envy and +condemn, especially when youth and beauty in some sort excuse the +transgression. Any sort of celebrity bestows an inconceivable prestige. +Apparently for women, as for families, the glory of the crime effaces +the stain; and if such and such a noble house is proud of its tale of +heads that have fallen on the scaffold, a young and pretty woman becomes +more interesting for the dubious renown of a happy love or a scandalous +desertion, and the more she is to be pitied, the more she excites our +sympathies. We are only pitiless to the commonplace. If, moreover, we +attract all eyes, we are to all intents and purposes great; how, indeed, +are we to be seen unless we raise ourselves above other people's heads? +The common herd of humanity feels an involuntary respect for any person +who can rise above it, and is not over-particular as to the means by +which they rise. + +It may have been that some such motives influenced Gaston de Nueil at +unawares, or perhaps it was curiosity, or a craving for some interest in +his life, or, in a word, that crowd of inexplicable impulses which, for +want of a better name, we are wont to call "fatality," that drew him to +Mme. de Beauseant. + +The figure of the Vicomtesse de Beauseant rose up suddenly before him +with gracious thronging associations. She was a new world for him, +a world of fears and hopes, a world to fight for and to conquer. +Inevitably he felt the contrast between this vision and the human beings +in the shabby room; and then, in truth, she was a woman; what woman had +he seen so far in this dull, little world, where calculation replaced +thought and feeling, where courtesy was a cut-and-dried formality, and +ideas of the very simplest were too alarming to be received or to pass +current? The sound of Mme. de Beauseant's name revived a young man's +dreams and wakened urgent desires that had lain dormant for a little. + +Gaston de Nueil was absent-minded and preoccupied for the rest of the +evening. He was pondering how he might gain access to Mme. de Beauseant, +and truly it was no very easy matter. She was believed to be extremely +clever. But if men and women of parts may be captivated by something +subtle or eccentric, they are also exacting, and can read all that lies +below the surface; and after the first step has been taken, the chances +of failure and success in the difficult task of pleasing them are about +even. In this particular case, moreover, the Vicomtesse, besides the +pride of her position, had all the dignity of her name. Her utter +seclusion was the least of the barriers raised between her and the +world. For which reasons it was well-nigh impossible that a stranger, +however well born, could hope for admittance; and yet, the next +morning found M. de Nueil taking his walks abroad in the direction of +Courcelles, a dupe of illusions natural at his age. Several times he +made the circuit of the garden walls, looking earnestly through every +gap at the closed shutters or open windows, hoping for some romantic +chance, on which he founded schemes for introducing himself into this +unknown lady's presence, without a thought of their impracticability. +Morning after morning was spent in this way to mighty purpose; but with +each day's walk, that vision of a woman living apart from the world, of +love's martyr buried in solitude, loomed larger in his thoughts, and +was enshrined in his soul. So Gaston de Nueil walked under the walls +of Courcelles, and some gardener's heavy footstep would set his heart +beating high with hope. + +He thought of writing to Mme. de Beauseant, but on mature consideration, +what can you say to a woman whom you have never seen, a complete +stranger? And Gaston had little self-confidence. Like most young persons +with a plentiful crop of illusions still standing, he dreaded the +mortifying contempt of silence more than death itself, and shuddered at +the thought of sending his first tender epistle forth to face so many +chances of being thrown on the fire. He was distracted by innumerable +conflicting ideas. But by dint of inventing chimeras, weaving romances, +and cudgeling his brains, he hit at last upon one of the hopeful +stratagems that are sure to occur to your mind if you persevere long +enough, a stratagem which must make clear to the most inexperienced +woman that here was a man who took a fervent interest in her. The +caprice of social conventions puts as many barriers between lovers as +any Oriental imagination can devise in the most delightfully fantastic +tale; indeed, the most extravagant pictures are seldom exaggerations. In +real life, as in the fairy tales, the woman belongs to him who can reach +her and set her free from the position in which she languishes. The +poorest of calenders that ever fell in love with the daughter of the +Khalif is in truth scarcely further from his lady than Gaston de Nueil +from Mme. de Beauseant. The Vicomtesse knew absolutely nothing of M. de +Nueil's wanderings round her house; Gaston de Nueil's love grew to the +height of the obstacles to overleap; and the distance set between him +and his extemporized lady-love produced the usual effect of distance, in +lending enchantment. + +One day, confident in his inspiration, he hoped everything from the love +that must pour forth from his eyes. Spoken words, in his opinion, were +more eloquent than the most passionate letter; and, besides, he would +engage feminine curiosity to plead for him. He went, therefore, to M. de +Champignelles, proposing to employ that gentleman for the better success +of his enterprise. He informed the Marquis that he had been entrusted +with a delicate and important commission which concerned the Vicomtesse +de Beauseant, that he felt doubtful whether she would read a letter +written in an unknown handwriting, or put confidence in a stranger. +Would M. de Champignelles, on his next visit, ask the Vicomtesse if +she would consent to receive him--Gaston de Nueil? While he asked the +Marquis to keep his secret in case of a refusal, he very ingeniously +insinuated sufficient reasons for his own admittance, to be duly passed +on to the Vicomtesse. Was not M. de Champignelles a man of honor, a +loyal gentleman incapable of lending himself to any transaction in bad +taste, nay, the merest suspicion of bad taste! Love lends a young man +all the self-possession and astute craft of an old ambassador; all the +Marquis' harmless vanities were gratified, and the haughty grandee +was completely duped. He tried hard to fathom Gaston's secret; but the +latter, who would have been greatly perplexed to tell it, turned off M. +de Champignelles' adroit questioning with a Norman's shrewdness, till +the Marquis, as a gallant Frenchman, complimented his young visitor upon +his discretion. + +M. de Champignelles hurried off at once to Courcelles, with that +eagerness to serve a pretty woman which belongs to his time of life. +In the Vicomtesse de Beauseant's position, such a message was likely to +arouse keen curiosity; so, although her memory supplied no reason at all +that could bring M. de Nueil to her house, she saw no objection to his +visit--after some prudent inquiries as to his family and condition. At +the same time, she began by a refusal. Then she discussed the propriety +of the matter with M. de Champignelles, directing her questions so as +to discover, if possible, whether he knew the motives for the visit, and +finally revoked her negative answer. The discussion and the discretion +shown perforce by the Marquis had piqued her curiosity. + +M. de Champignelles had no mind to cut a ridiculous figure. He +said, with the air of a man who can keep another's counsel, that the +Vicomtesse must know the purpose of this visit perfectly well; while the +Vicomtesse, in all sincerity, had no notion what it could be. Mme. de +Beauseant, in perplexity, connected Gaston with people whom he had never +met, went astray after various wild conjectures, and asked herself if +she had seen this M. de Nueil before. In truth, no love-letter, however +sincere or skilfully indited, could have produced so much effect as this +riddle. Again and again Mme. de Beauseant puzzled over it. + +When Gaston heard that he might call upon the Vicomtesse, his rapture at +so soon obtaining the ardently longed-for good fortune was mingled with +singular embarrassment. How was he to contrive a suitable sequel to this +stratagem? + +"Bah! I shall see _her_," he said over and over again to himself as he +dressed. "See her, and that is everything!" + +He fell to hoping that once across the threshold of Courcelles he should +find an expedient for unfastening this Gordian knot of his own tying. +There are believers in the omnipotence of necessity who never turn back; +the close presence of danger is an inspiration that calls out all their +powers for victory. Gaston de Nueil was one of these. + +He took particular pains with his dress, imagining, as youth is apt to +imagine, that success or failure hangs on the position of a curl, and +ignorant of the fact that anything is charming in youth. And, in any +case, such women as Mme. de Beauseant are only attracted by the charms +of wit or character of an unusual order. Greatness of character flatters +their vanity, promises a great passion, seems to imply a comprehension +of the requirements of their hearts. Wit amuses them, responds to the +subtlety of their natures, and they think that they are understood. And +what do all women wish but to be amused, understood, or adored? It is +only after much reflection on the things of life that we understand +the consummate coquetry of neglect of dress and reserve at a first +interview; and by the time we have gained sufficient astuteness for +successful strategy, we are too old to profit by our experience. + +While Gaston's lack of confidence in his mental equipment drove him +to borrow charms from his clothes, Madame de Beauseant herself was +instinctively giving more attention to her toilette. + +"I would rather not frighten people, at all events," she said to herself +as she arranged her hair. + +In M. de Nueil's character, person, and manner there was that touch of +unconscious originality which gives a kind of flavor to things that any +one might say or do, and absolves everything that they may choose to +do or say. He was highly cultivated, he had a keen brain, and a face, +mobile as his own nature, which won the goodwill of others. The promise +of passion and tenderness in the bright eyes was fulfilled by an +essentially kindly heart. The resolution which he made as he entered +the house at Courcelles was in keeping with his frank nature and ardent +imagination. But, bold has he was with love, his heart beat violently +when he had crossed the great court, laid out like an English garden, +and the man-servant, who had taken his name to the Vicomtesse, returned +to say that she would receive him. + +"M. le Baron de Nueil." + +Gaston came in slowly, but with sufficient ease of manner; and it is a +more difficult thing, be it said, to enter a room where there is but one +woman, than a room that holds a score. + +A great fire was burning on the hearth in spite of the mild weather, +and by the soft light of the candles in the sconces he saw a young woman +sitting on a high-backed _bergere_ in the angle by the hearth. The seat +was so low that she could move her head freely; every turn of it was +full of grace and delicate charm, whether she bent, leaning forward, +or raised and held it erect, slowly and languidly, as though it were a +heavy burden, so low that she could cross her feet and let them appear, +or draw them back under the folds of a long black dress. + +The Vicomtesse made as if she would lay the book that she was reading on +a small, round stand; but as she did so, she turned towards M. de +Nueil, and the volume, insecurely laid upon the edge, fell to the ground +between the stand and the sofa. This did not seem to disconcert her. +She looked up, bowing almost imperceptibly in response to his greeting, +without rising from the depths of the low chair in which she lay. +Bending forwards, she stirred the fire briskly, and stooped to pick up a +fallen glove, drawing it mechanically over her left hand, while her +eyes wandered in search of its fellow. The glance was instantly checked, +however, for she stretched out a thin, white, all-but-transparent +right hand, with flawless ovals of rose-colored nail at the tips of the +slender, ringless fingers, and pointed to a chair as if to bid Gaston be +seated. He sat down, and she turned her face questioningly towards him. +Words cannot describe the subtlety of the winning charm and inquiry in +that gesture; deliberate in its kindliness, gracious yet accurate in +expression, it was the outcome of early education and of a constant use +and wont of the graciousness of life. These movements of hers, so +swift, so deft, succeeded each other by the blending of a pretty woman's +fastidious carelessness with the high-bred manner of a great lady. + +Mme. de Beauseant stood out in such strong contrast against the +automatons among whom he had spent two months of exile in that +out-of-the-world district of Normandy, that he could not but find in her +the realization of his romantic dreams; and, on the other hand, he +could not compare her perfections with those of other women whom he +had formerly admired. Here in her presence, in a drawing-room like some +salon in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, full of costly trifles lying about +upon the tables, and flowers and books, he felt as if he were back in +Paris. It was a real Parisian carpet beneath his feet, he saw once more +the high-bred type of Parisienne, the fragile outlines of her form, her +exquisite charm, her disdain of the studied effects which did so much to +spoil provincial women. + +Mme. de Beauseant had fair hair and dark eyes, and the pale complexion +that belongs to fair hair. She held up her brow nobly like some fallen +angel, grown proud through the fall, disdainful of pardon. Her way of +gathering her thick hair into a crown of plaits above the broad, curving +lines of the bandeaux upon her forehead, added to the queenliness of her +face. Imagination could discover the ducal coronet of Burgundy in the +spiral threads of her golden hair; all the courage of her house seemed +to gleam from the great lady's brilliant eyes, such courage as women +use to repel audacity or scorn, for they were full of tenderness for +gentleness. The outline of that little head, so admirably poised above +the long, white throat, the delicate, fine features, the subtle curves +of the lips, the mobile face itself, wore an expression of delicate +discretion, a faint semblance of irony suggestive of craft and +insolence. Yet it would have been difficult to refuse forgiveness to +those two feminine failings in her; for the lines that came out in her +forehead whenever her face was not in repose, like her upward glances +(that pathetic trick of manner), told unmistakably of unhappiness, of +a passion that had all but cost her her life. A woman, sitting in the +great, silent salon, a woman cut off from the rest of the world in this +remote little valley, alone, with the memories of her brilliant, happy, +and impassioned youth, of continual gaiety and homage paid on all sides, +now replaced by the horrors of the void--was there not something in the +sight to strike awe that deepened with reflection? Consciousness of her +own value lurked in her smile. She was neither wife nor mother, she was +an outlaw; she had lost the one heart that could set her pulses beating +without shame; she had nothing from without to support her reeling soul; +she must even look for strength from within, live her own life, cherish +no hope save that of forsaken love, which looks forward to Death's +coming, and hastens his lagging footsteps. And this while life was in +its prime. Oh! to feel destined for happiness and to die--never having +given nor received it! A woman too! What pain was this! These thoughts +flashing across M. de Nueil's mind like lightning, left him very humble +in the presence of the greatest charm with which woman can be invested. +The triple aureole of beauty, nobleness, and misfortune dazzled him; he +stood in dreamy, almost open-mouthed admiration of the Vicomtesse. But +he found nothing to say to her. + +Mme. de Beauseant, by no means displeased, no doubt, by his surprise, +held out her hand with a kindly but imperious gesture; then, summoning a +smile to her pale lips, as if obeying, even yet, the woman's impulse to +be gracious: + +"I have heard from M. de Champignelles of a message which you have +kindly undertaken to deliver, monsieur," she said. "Can it be from----" + +With that terrible phrase Gaston understood, even more clearly than +before, his own ridiculous position, the bad taste and bad faith of his +behavior towards a woman so noble and so unfortunate. He reddened. The +thoughts that crowded in upon him could be read in his troubled eyes; +but suddenly, with the courage which youth draws from a sense of its own +wrongdoing, he gained confidence, and very humbly interrupted Mme. de +Beauseant. + +"Madame," he faltered out, "I do not deserve the happiness of seeing +you. I have deceived you basely. However strong the motive may have +been, it can never excuse the pitiful subterfuge which I used to gain my +end. But, madame, if your goodness will permit me to tell you----" + +The Vicomtesse glanced at M. de Nueil, haughty disdain in her whole +manner. She stretched her hand to the bell and rang it. + +"Jacques," she said, "light this gentleman to the door," and she looked +with dignity at the visitor. + +She rose proudly, bowed to Gaston, and then stooped for the fallen +volume. If all her movements on his entrance had been caressingly dainty +and gracious, her every gesture now was no less severely frigid. M. de +Nueil rose to his feet, but he stood waiting. Mme. de Beauseant flung +another glance at him. "Well, why do you not go?" she seemed to say. + +There was such cutting irony in that glance that Gaston grew white as if +he were about to faint. Tears came into his eyes, but he would not let +them fall, and scorching shame and despair dried them. He looked back +at Madame de Beauseant, and a certain pride and consciousness of his +own worth was mingled with his humility; the Vicomtesse had a right to +punish him, but ought she to use her right? Then he went out. + +As he crossed the ante-chamber, a clear head, and wits sharpened by +passion, were not slow to grasp the danger of his situation. + +"If I leave this house, I can never come back to it again," he said +to himself. "The Vicomtesse will always think of me as a fool. It is +impossible that a woman, and such a woman, should not guess the +love that she has called forth. Perhaps she feels a little, vague, +involuntary regret for dismissing me so abruptly.--But she could not +do otherwise, and she cannot recall her sentence. It rests with me to +understand her." + +At that thought Gaston stopped short on the flight of steps with an +exclamation; he turned sharply, saying, "I have forgotten something," +and went back to the salon. The lackey, all respect for a baron and the +rights of property, was completely deceived by the natural utterance, +and followed him. Gaston returned quietly and unannounced. The +Vicomtesse, thinking that the intruder was the servant, looked up and +beheld M. de Nueil. + +"Jacques lighted me to the door," he said, with a half-sad smile which +dispelled any suspicion of jest in those words, while the tone in which +they were spoken went to the heart. Mme. de Beauseant was disarmed. + +"Very well, take a seat," she said. + +Gaston eagerly took possession of a chair. His eyes were shining with +happiness; the Vicomtesse, unable to endure the brilliant light in +them, looked down at the book. She was enjoying a delicious, ever new +sensation; the sense of a man's delight in her presence is an unfailing +feminine instinct. And then, besides, he had divined her, and a woman is +so grateful to the man who has mastered the apparently capricious, yet +logical, reasoning of her heart; who can track her thought through the +seemingly contradictory workings of her mind, and read the sensations, +shy or bold, written in fleeting red, a bewildering maze of coquetry and +self-revelation. + +"Madame," Gaston exclaimed in a low voice, "my blunder you know, but +you do not know how much I am to blame. If you only knew what joy it was +to----" + +"Ah! take care," she said, holding up one finger with an air of mystery, +as she put out her hand towards the bell. + +The charming gesture, the gracious threat, no doubt called up some sad +thought, some memory of the old happy time when she could be wholly +charming and gentle without an afterthought; when the gladness of her +heart justified every caprice, and put charm into every least movement. +The lines in her forehead gathered between her brows, and the expression +of her face grew dark in the soft candle-light. Then looking across at +M. de Nueil gravely but not unkindly, she spoke like a woman who deeply +feels the meaning of every word. + +"This is all very ridiculous! Once upon a time, monsieur, when +thoughtless high spirits were my privilege, I should have laughed +fearlessly over your visit with you. But now my life is very much +changed. I cannot do as I like, I am obliged to think. What brings you +here? Is it curiosity? In that case I am paying dearly for a little +fleeting pleasure. Have you fallen _passionately_ in love already with a +woman whom you have never seen, a woman with whose name slander has, of +course, been busy? If so, your motive in making this visit is based on +disrespect, on an error which accident brought into notoriety." + +She flung her book down scornfully upon the table, then, with a terrible +look at Gaston, she went on: "Because I once was weak, must it be +supposed that I am always weak? This is horrible, degrading. Or have you +come here to pity me? You are very young to offer sympathy with heart +troubles. Understand this clearly, sir, that I would rather have scorn +than pity. I will not endure compassion from any one." + +There was a brief pause. + +"Well, sir," she continued (and the face that she turned to him was +gentle and sad), "whatever motive induced this rash intrusion upon my +solitude, it is very painful to me, you see. You are too young to be +totally without good feeling, so surely you will feel that this behavior +of yours is improper. I forgive you for it, and, as you see, I am +speaking of it to you without bitterness. You will not come here again, +will you? I am entreating when I might command. If you come to see me +again, neither you nor I can prevent the whole place from believing that +you are my lover, and you would cause me great additional annoyance. You +do not mean to do that, I think." + +She said no more, but looked at him with a great dignity which abashed +him. + +"I have done wrong, madame," he said, with deep feeling in his voice, +"but it was through enthusiasm and thoughtlessness and eager desire of +happiness, the qualities and defects of my age. Now, I understand that +I ought not to have tried to see you," he added; "but, at the same time, +the desire was a very natural one"--and, making an appeal to feeling +rather than to the intellect, he described the weariness of his enforced +exile. He drew a portrait of a young man in whom the fires of life were +burning themselves out, conveying the impression that here was a heart +worthy of tender love, a heart which, notwithstanding, had never known +the joys of love for a young and beautiful woman of refinement and +taste. He explained, without attempting to justify, his unusual conduct. +He flattered Mme. de Beauseant by showing that she had realized for him +the ideal lady of a young man's dream, the ideal sought by so many, +and so often sought in vain. Then he touched upon his morning prowlings +under the walls of Courcelles, and his wild thoughts at the first sight +of the house, till he excited that vague feeling of indulgence which a +woman can find in her heart for the follies committed for her sake. + +An impassioned voice was speaking in the chill solitude; the speaker +brought with him a warm breath of youth and the charms of a carefully +cultivated mind. It was so long since Mme. de Beauseant had felt stirred +by real feeling delicately expressed, that it affected her very strongly +now. In spite of herself, she watched M. de Nueil's expressive face, and +admired the noble countenance of a soul, unbroken as yet by the cruel +discipline of the life of the world, unfretted by continual scheming to +gratify personal ambition and vanity. Gaston was in the flower of his +youth, he impressed her as a man with something in him, unaware as +yet of the great career that lay before him. So both these two made +reflections most dangerous for their peace of mind, and both strove to +conceal their thoughts. M. de Nueil saw in the Vicomtesse a rare type of +woman, always the victim of her perfections and tenderness; her graceful +beauty is the least of her charms for those who are privileged to know +the infinite of feeling and thought and goodness in the soul within; +a woman whose instinctive feeling for beauty runs through all the most +varied expressions of love, purifying its transports, turning them to +something almost holy; wonderful secret of womanhood, the exquisite +gift that Nature so seldom bestows. And the Vicomtesse, on her side, +listening to the ring of sincerity in Gaston's voice, while he told of +his youthful troubles, began to understand all that grown children of +five-and-twenty suffer from diffidence, when hard work has kept them +alike from corrupting influences and intercourse with men and women of +the world whose sophistical reasoning and experience destroys the +fair qualities of youth. Here was the ideal of a woman's dreams, a man +unspoiled as yet by the egoism of family or success, or by that narrow +selfishness which blights the first impulses of honor, devotion, +self-sacrifice, and high demands of self; all the flowers so soon wither +that enrich at first the life of delicate but strong emotions, and keep +alive the loyalty of the heart. + +But these two, once launched forth into the vast of sentiment, went +far indeed in theory, sounding the depths in either soul, testing the +sincerity of their expressions; only, whereas Gaston's experiments were +made unconsciously, Mme. de Beauseant had a purpose in all that she +said. Bringing her natural and acquired subtlety to the work, she sought +to learn M. de Nueil's opinions by advancing, as far as she could do +so, views diametrically opposed to her own. So witty and so gracious was +she, so much herself with this stranger, with whom she felt completely +at ease, because she felt sure that they should never meet again, that, +after some delicious epigram of hers, Gaston exclaimed unthinkingly: + +"Oh! madame, how could any man have left you?" + +The Vicomtesse was silent. Gaston reddened, he thought that he had +offended her; but she was not angry. The first deep thrill of delight +since the day of her calamity had taken her by surprise. The skill of +the cleverest _roue_ could not have made the impression that M. de Nueil +made with that cry from the heart. That verdict wrung from a young man's +candor gave her back innocence in her own eyes, condemned the world, +laid the blame upon the lover who had left her, and justified her +subsequent solitary drooping life. The world's absolution, the heartfelt +sympathy, the social esteem so longed for, and so harshly refused, nay, +all her secret desires were given her to the full in that exclamation, +made fairer yet by the heart's sweetest flatteries and the admiration +that women always relish eagerly. He understood her, understood all, and +he had given her, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, the +opportunity of rising higher through her fall. She looked at the clock. + +"Ah! madame, do not punish me for my heedlessness. If you grant me but +one evening, vouchsafe not to shorten it." + +She smiled at the pretty speech. + +"Well, as we must never meet again," she said, "what signifies a moment +more or less? If you were to care for me, it would be a pity." + +"It is too late now," he said. + +"Do not tell me that," she answered gravely. "Under any other +circumstances I should be very glad to see you. I will speak frankly, +and you will understand how it is that I do not choose to see you again, +and ought not to do so. You have too much magnanimity not to feel that +if I were so much as suspected of a second trespass, every one would +think of me as a contemptible and vulgar woman; I should be like other +women. A pure and blameless life will bring my character into relief. +I am too proud not to endeavor to live like one apart in the world, a +victim of the law through my marriage, man's victim through my love. If +I were not faithful to the position which I have taken up, then I should +deserve all the reproach that is heaped upon me; I should be lowered in +my own eyes. I had not enough lofty social virtue to remain with a man +whom I did not love. I have snapped the bonds of marriage in spite of +the law; it was wrong, it was a crime, it was anything you like, but +for me the bonds meant death. I meant to live. Perhaps if I had been +a mother I could have endured the torture of a forced marriage of +suitability. At eighteen we scarcely know what is done with us, poor +girls that we are! I have broken the laws of the world, and the world +has punished me; we both did rightly. I sought happiness. Is it not a +law of our nature to seek for happiness? I was young, I was beautiful... +I thought that I had found a nature as loving, as apparently passionate. +I was loved indeed; for a little while..." + +She paused. + +"I used to think," she said, "that no one could leave a woman in such +a position as mine. I have been forsaken; I must have offended in +some way. Yes, in some way, no doubt, I failed to keep some law of our +nature, was too loving, too devoted, too exacting--I do not know. Evil +days have brought light with them! For a long while I blamed another, +now I am content to bear the whole blame. At my own expense, I have +absolved that other of whom I once thought I had a right to complain. I +had not the art to keep him; fate has punished me heavily for my lack +of skill. I only knew how to love; how can one keep oneself in mind when +one loves? So I was a slave when I should have sought to be a tyrant. +Those who know me may condemn me, but they will respect me too. Pain +has taught me that I must not lay myself open to this a second time. I +cannot understand how it is that I am living yet, after the anguish of +that first week of the most fearful crisis in a woman's life. Only from +three years of loneliness would it be possible to draw strength to speak +of that time as I am speaking now. Such agony, monsieur, usually ends in +death; but this--well, it was the agony of death with no tomb to end it. +Oh! I have known pain indeed!" + +The Vicomtesse raised her beautiful eyes to the ceiling; and the +cornice, no doubt, received all the confidences which a stranger might +not hear. When a woman is afraid to look at her interlocutor, there +is in truth no gentler, meeker, more accommodating confidant than the +cornice. The cornice is quite an institution in the boudoir; what is it +but the confessional, _minus_ the priest? + +Mme. de Beauseant was eloquent and beautiful at that moment; nay, +"coquettish," if the word were not too heavy. By justifying herself and +love, she was stimulating every sentiment in the man before her; nay, +more, the higher she set the goal, the more conspicuous it grew. At +last, when her eyes had lost the too eloquent expression given to them +by painful memories, she let them fall on Gaston. + +"You acknowledge, do you not, that I am bound to lead a solitary, +self-contained life?" she said quietly. + +So sublime was she in her reasoning and her madness, that M. de Nueil +felt a wild longing to throw himself at her feet; but he was afraid of +making himself ridiculous, so he held his enthusiasm and his thoughts in +check. He was afraid, too, that he might totally fail to express them, +and in no less terror of some awful rejection on her part, or of her +mockery, an apprehension which strikes like ice to the most fervid soul. +The revulsion which led him to crush down every feeling as it sprang +up in his heart cost him the intense pain that diffident and ambitious +natures experience in the frequent crises when they are compelled +to stifle their longings. And yet, in spite of himself, he broke the +silence to say in a faltering voice: + +"Madame, permit me to give way to one of the strongest emotions of my +life, and own to all that you have made me feel. You set the heart in +me swelling high! I feel within me a longing to make you forget your +mortifications, to devote my life to this, to give you love for all who +ever have given you wounds or hate. But this is a very sudden outpouring +of the heart, nothing can justify it to-day, and I ought not----" + +"Enough, monsieur," said Mme. de Beauseant; "we have both of us gone too +far. By giving you the sad reasons for a refusal which I am compelled to +give, I meant to soften it and not to elicit homage. Coquetry only suits +a happy woman. Believe me, we must remain strangers to each other. At a +later day you will know that ties which must inevitably be broken ought +not to be formed at all." + +She sighed lightly, and her brows contracted, but almost immediately +grew clear again. + +"How painful it is for a woman to be powerless to follow the man she +loves through all the phases of his life! And if that man loves her +truly, his heart must surely vibrate with pain to the deep trouble in +hers. Are they not twice unhappy?" + +There was a short pause. Then she rose smiling. + +"You little suspected, when you came to Courcelles, that you were to +hear a sermon, did you?" + +Gaston felt even further than at first from this extraordinary woman. +Was the charm of that delightful hour due after all to the coquetry of +the mistress of the house? She had been anxious to display her wit. He +bowed stiffly to the Vicomtesse, and went away in desperation. + +On the way home he tried to detect the real character of a creature +supple and hard as a steel spring; but he had seen her pass through so +many phases, that he could not make up his mind about her. The tones +of her voice, too, were ringing in his ears; her gestures, the little +movements of her head, and the varying expression of her eyes grew +more gracious in memory, more fascinating as he thought of them. +The Vicomtesse's beauty shone out again for him in the darkness; his +reviving impressions called up yet others, and he was enthralled anew by +womanly charm and wit, which at first he had not perceived. He fell to +wandering musings, in which the most lucid thoughts grow refractory and +flatly contradict each other, and the soul passes through a brief +frenzy fit. Youth only can understand all that lies in the dithyrambic +outpourings of youth when, after a stormy siege, of the most frantic +folly and coolest common-sense, the heart finally yields to the assault +of the latest comer, be it hope, or despair, as some mysterious power +determines. + +At three-and-twenty, diffidence nearly always rules a man's conduct; he +is perplexed with a young girl's shyness, a girl's trouble; he is afraid +lest he should express his love ill, sees nothing but difficulties, and +takes alarm at them; he would be bolder if he loved less, for he has no +confidence in himself, and with a growing sense of the cost of happiness +comes a conviction that the woman he loves cannot easily be won; +perhaps, too, he is giving himself up too entirely to his own pleasure, +and fears that he can give none; and when, for his misfortune, his idol +inspires him with awe, he worships in secret and afar, and unless his +love is guessed, it dies away. Then it often happens that one of these +dead early loves lingers on, bright with illusions in many a young +heart. What man is there but keeps within him these virgin memories that +grow fairer every time they rise before him, memories that hold up to +him the ideal of perfect bliss? Such recollections are like children who +die in the flower of childhood, before their parents have known anything +of them but their smiles. + +So M. de Nueil came home from Courcelles, the victim of a mood fraught +with desperate resolutions. Even now he felt that Mme. de Beauseant +was one of the conditions of his existence, and that death would be +preferable to life without her. He was still young enough to feel +the tyrannous fascination which fully-developed womanhood exerts over +immature and impassioned natures; and, consequently, he was to spend one +of those stormy nights when a young man's thoughts travel from happiness +to suicide and back again--nights in which youth rushes through a +lifetime of bliss and falls asleep from sheer exhaustion. Fateful +nights are they, and the worst misfortune that can happen is to awake a +philosopher afterwards. M. de Nueil was far too deeply in love to +sleep; he rose and betook to inditing letters, but none of them were +satisfactory, and he burned them all. + + + +The next day he went to Courcelles to make the circuit of her garden +walls, but he waited till nightfall; he was afraid that she might +see him. The instinct that led him to act in this way arose out of so +obscure a mood of the soul, that none but a young man, or a man in like +case, can fully understand its mute ecstasies and its vagaries, matter +to set those people who are lucky enough to see life only in its +matter-of-fact aspect shrugging their shoulders. After painful +hesitation, Gaston wrote to Mme. de Beauseant. Here is the letter, which +may serve as a sample of the epistolary style peculiar to lovers, a +performance which, like the drawings prepared with great secrecy by +children for the birthdays of father or mother, is found insufferable by +every mortal except the recipients:-- + + "MADAME,--Your power over my heart, my soul, myself, is so great + that my fate depends wholly upon you to-day. Do not throw this + letter into the fire; be so kind as to read it through. Perhaps + you may pardon the opening sentence when you see that it is no + commonplace, selfish declaration, but that it expresses a simple + fact. Perhaps you may feel moved, because I ask for so little, by + the submission of one who feels himself so much beneath you, by + the influence that your decision will exercise upon my life. At my + age, madame, I only know how to love, I am utterly ignorant of + ways of attracting and winning a woman's love, but in my own heart + I know raptures of adoration of her. I am irresistibly drawn to + you by the great happiness that I feel through you; my thoughts + turn to you with the selfish instinct which bids us draw nearer to + the fire of life when we find it. I do not imagine that I am + worthy of you; it seems impossible that I, young, ignorant, and + shy, could bring you one-thousandth part of the happiness that I + drink in at the sound of your voice and the sight of you. For me + you are the only woman in the world. I cannot imagine life without + you, so I have made up my mind to leave France, and to risk my + life till I lose it in some desperate enterprise, in the Indies, + in Africa, I care not where. How can I quell a love that knows no + limits save by opposing to it something as infinite? Yet, if you + will allow me to hope, not to be yours, but to win your + friendship, I will stay. Let me come, not so very often, if you + require it, to spend a few such hours with you as those stolen + hours of yesterday. The keen delight of that brief happiness to be + cut short at the least over-ardent word from me, will suffice to + enable me to endure the boiling torrent in my veins. Have I + presumed too much upon your generosity by this entreaty to suffer + an intercourse in which all the gain is mine alone? You could find + ways of showing the world, to which you sacrifice so much, that I + am nothing to you; you are so clever and so proud! What have you + to fear? If I could only lay bare my heart to you at this moment, + to convince you that it is with no lurking afterthought that I + make this humble request! Should I have told you that my love was + boundless, while I prayed you to grant me friendship, if I had any + hope of your sharing this feeling in the depths of my soul? No, + while I am with you, I will be whatever you will, if only I may be + with you. If you refuse (as you have the power to refuse), I will + not utter one murmur, I will go. And if, at a later day, any other + woman should enter into my life, you will have proof that you were + right; but if I am faithful till death, you may feel some regret + perhaps. The hope of causing you a regret will soothe my agony, + and that thought shall be the sole revenge of a slighted + heart...." + +Only those who have passed through all the exceeding tribulations of +youth, who have seized on all the chimeras with two white pinions, the +nightmare fancies at the disposal of a fervid imagination, can realize +the horrors that seized upon Gaston de Nueil when he had reason to +suppose that his ultimatum was in Mme. de Beauseant's hands. He saw the +Vicomtesse, wholly untouched, laughing at his letter and his love, as +those can laugh who have ceased to believe in love. He could have wished +to have his letter back again. It was an absurd letter. There were a +thousand and one things, now that he came to think of it, that he might +have said, things infinitely better and more moving than those stilted +phrases of his, those accursed, sophisticated, pretentious, fine-spun +phrases, though, luckily, the punctuation had been pretty bad and the +lines shockingly crooked. He tried not to think, not to feel; but he +felt and thought, and was wretched. If he had been thirty years old, he +might have got drunk, but the innocence of three-and-twenty knew +nothing of the resources of opium nor of the expedients of advanced +civilization. Nor had he at hand one of those good friends of the +Parisian pattern who understand so well how to say _Poete, non dolet!_ +by producing a bottle of champagne, or alleviate the agony of suspense +by carrying you off somewhere to make a night of it. Capital fellows +are they, always in low water when you are in funds, always off to some +watering-place when you go to look them up, always with some bad bargain +in horse-flesh to sell you; it is true, that when you want to borrow of +them, they have always just lost their last louis at play; but in all +other respects they are the best fellows on earth, always ready to +embark with you on one of the steep down-grades where you lose your +time, your soul, and your life! + +At length M. de Nueil received a missive through the instrumentality of +Jacques, a letter that bore the arms of Burgundy on the scented seal, a +letter written on vellum notepaper. + +He rushed away at once to lock himself in, and read and re-read _her_ +letter:-- + + "You are punishing me very severely, monsieur, both for the + friendliness of my effort to spare you a rebuff, and for the + attraction which intellect always has for me. I put confidence in + the generosity of youth, and you have disappointed me. And yet, if + I did not speak unreservedly (which would have been perfectly + ridiculous), at any rate I spoke frankly of my position, so that + you might imagine that I was not to be touched by a young soul. My + distress is the keener for my interest in you. I am naturally + tender-hearted and kindly, but circumstances force me to act + unkindly. Another woman would have flung your letter, unread, into + the fire; I read it, and I am answering it. My answer will make it + clear to you that while I am not untouched by the expression of + this feeling which I have inspired, albeit unconsciously, I am + still far from sharing it, and the step which I am about to take + will show you still more plainly that I mean what I say. I wish + besides, to use, for your welfare, that authority, as it were, + which you give me over your life; and I desire to exercise it this + once to draw aside the veil from your eyes. + + "I am nearly thirty years old, monsieur; you are barely + two-and-twenty. You yourself cannot know what your thoughts will + be at my age. The vows that you make so lightly to-day may seem a + very heavy burden to you then. I am quite willing to believe that + at this moment you would give me your whole life without a regret, + you would even be ready to die for a little brief happiness; but + at the age of thirty experience will take from you the very power + of making daily sacrifices for my sake, and I myself should feel + deeply humiliated if I accepted them. A day would come when + everything, even Nature, would bid you leave me, and I have + already told you that death is preferable to desertion. Misfortune + has taught me to calculate; as you see, I am arguing perfectly + dispassionately. You force me to tell you that I have no love for + you; I ought not to love, I cannot, and I will not. It is too late + to yield, as women yield, to a blind unreasoning impulse of the + heart, too late to be the mistress whom you seek. My consolations + spring from God, not from earth. Ah, and besides, with the + melancholy insight of disappointed love, I read hearts too clearly + to accept your proffered friendship. It is only instinct. I + forgive the boyish ruse, for which you are not responsible as yet. + In the name of this passing fancy of yours, for the sake of your + career and my own peace of mind, I bid you stay in your own + country; you must not spoil a fair and honorable life for an + illusion which, by its very nature, cannot last. At a later day, + when you have accomplished your real destiny, in the fully + developed manhood that awaits you, you will appreciate this answer + of mine, though to-day it may be that you blame its hardness. You + will turn with pleasure to an old woman whose friendship will + certainly be sweet and precious to you then; a friendship untried + by the extremes of passion and the disenchanting processes of + life; a friendship which noble thoughts and thoughts of religion + will keep pure and sacred. Farewell; do my bidding with the + thought that your success will bring a gleam of pleasure into my + solitude, and only think of me as we think of absent friends." + +Gaston de Nueil read the letter, and wrote the following lines:-- + + "MADAME,--If I could cease to love you, to take the chances of + becoming an ordinary man which you hold out to me, you must admit + that I should thoroughly deserve my fate. No, I shall not do as + you bid me; the oath of fidelity which I swear to you shall only + be absolved by death. Ah! take my life, unless indeed you do not + fear to carry a remorse all through your own----" + +When the man returned from his errand, M. de Nueil asked him with whom +he left the note? + +"I gave it to Mme. la Vicomtesse herself, sir; she was in her carriage +and just about to start." + +"For the town?" + +"I don't think so, sir. Mme. la Vicomtesse had post-horses." + +"Ah! then she is going away," said the Baron. + +"Yes, sir," the man answered. + +Gaston de Nueil at once prepared to follow Mme. de Beauseant. She led +the way as far as Geneva, without a suspicion that he followed. And +he? Amid the many thoughts that assailed him during that journey, one +all-absorbing problem filled his mind--"Why did she go away?" Theories +grew thickly on such ground for supposition, and naturally he inclined +to the one that flattered his hopes--"If the Vicomtesse cares for me, +a clever woman would, of course, choose Switzerland, where nobody knows +either of us, in preference to France, where she would find censorious +critics." + +An impassioned lover of a certain stamp would not feel attracted to a +woman clever enough to choose her own ground; such women are too clever. +However, there is nothing to prove that there was any truth in Gaston's +supposition. + +The Vicomtesse took a small house by the side of the lake. As soon as +she was installed in it, Gaston came one summer evening in the twilight. +Jacques, that flunkey in grain, showed no sign of surprise, and +announced _M. le Baron de Nueil_ like a discreet domestic well +acquainted with good society. At the sound of the name, at the sight +of its owner, Mme. de Beauseant let her book fall from her hands; her +surprise gave him time to come close to her, and to say in tones that +sounded like music in her ears: + +"What a joy it was to me to take the horses that brought you on this +journey!" + +To have the inmost desires of the heart so fulfilled! Where is the woman +who could resist such happiness as this? An Italian woman, one of those +divine creatures who, psychologically, are as far removed from the +Parisian as if they lived at the Antipodes, a being who would be +regarded as profoundly immoral on this side of the Alps, an Italian (to +resume) made the following comment on some French novels which she had +been reading. "I cannot see," she remarked, "why these poor lovers take +such a time over coming to an arrangement which ought to be the affair +of a single morning." Why should not the novelist take a hint from this +worthy lady, and refrain from exhausting the theme and the reader? +Some few passages of coquetry it would certainly be pleasant to give in +outline; the story of Mme. de Beauseant's demurs and sweet delayings, +that, like the vestal virgins of antiquity, she might fall gracefully, +and by lingering over the innocent raptures of first love draw from it +its utmost strength and sweetness. M. de Nueil was at an age when a +man is the dupe of these caprices, of the fence which women delight to +prolong; either to dictate their own terms, or to enjoy the sense of +their power yet longer, knowing instinctively as they do that it must +soon grow less. But, after all, these little boudoir protocols, less +numerous than those of the Congress of London, are too small to be worth +mention in the history of this passion. + +For three years Mme. de Beauseant and M. de Nueil lived in the villa on +the lake of Geneva. They lived quite alone, received no visitors, caused +no talk, rose late, went out together upon the lake, knew, in short, +the happiness of which we all of us dream. It was a simple little house, +with green shutters, and broad balconies shaded with awnings, a house +contrived of set purpose for lovers, with its white couches, soundless +carpets, and fresh hangings, everything within it reflecting their +joy. Every window looked out on some new view of the lake; in the far +distance lay the mountains, fantastic visions of changing color and +evanescent cloud; above them spread the sunny sky, before them stretched +the broad sheet of water, never the same in its fitful changes. All +their surroundings seemed to dream for them, all things smiled upon +them. + +Then weighty matters recalled M. de Nueil to France. His father and +brother died, and he was obliged to leave Geneva. The lovers bought the +house; and if they could have had their way, they would have removed the +hills piecemeal, drawn off the lake with a siphon, and taken everything +away with them. + +Mme. de Beauseant followed M. de Nueil. She realized her property, and +bought a considerable estate near Manerville, adjoining Gaston's +lands, and here they lived together; Gaston very graciously giving +up Manerville to his mother for the present in consideration of the +bachelor freedom in which she left him. + +Mme. de Beauseant's estate was close to a little town in one of the +most picturesque spots in the valley of the Auge. Here the lovers raised +barriers between themselves and social intercourse, barriers which no +creature could overleap, and here the happy days of Switzerland were +lived over again. For nine whole years they knew happiness which it +serves no purpose to describe; happiness which may be divined from the +outcome of the story by those whose souls can comprehend poetry and +prayer in their infinite manifestations. + +All this time Mme. de Beauseant's husband, the present Marquis (his +father and elder brother having died), enjoyed the soundest health. +There is no better aid to life than a certain knowledge that our demise +would confer a benefit on some fellow-creature. M. de Beauseant was +one of those ironical and wayward beings who, like holders of +life-annuities, wake with an additional sense of relish every morning to +a consciousness of good health. For the rest, he was a man of the world, +somewhat methodical and ceremonious, and a calculator of consequences, +who could make a declaration of love as quietly as a lackey announces +that "Madame is served." + +This brief biographical notice of his lordship the Marquis de Beauseant +is given to explain the reasons why it was impossible for the Marquise +to marry M. de Nueil. + +So, after a nine years' lease of happiness, the sweetest agreement to +which a woman ever put her hand, M. de Nueil and Mme. de Beauseant +were still in a position quite as natural and quite as false as at the +beginning of their adventure. And yet they had reached a fatal crisis, +which may be stated as clearly as any problem in mathematics. + +Mme. la Comtesse de Nueil, Gaston's mother, a strait-laced and virtuous +person, who had made the late Baron happy in strictly legal fashion +would never consent to meet Mme. de Beauseant. Mme. de Beauseant quite +understood that the worthy dowager must of necessity be her enemy, and +that she would try to draw Gaston from his unhallowed and immoral way of +life. The Marquise de Beauseant would willingly have sold her property +and gone back to Geneva, but she could not bring herself to do it; it +would mean that she distrusted M. de Nueil. Moreover, he had taken +a great fancy to this very Valleroy estate, where he was making +plantations and improvements. She would not deprive him of a piece of +pleasurable routine-work, such as women always wish for their husbands, +and even for their lovers. + +A Mlle. de la Rodiere, twenty-two years of age, an heiress with +a rent-roll of forty thousand livres, had come to live in the +neighborhood. Gaston always met her at Manerville whenever he was +obliged to go thither. These various personages being to each other as +the terms of a proportion sum, the following letter will throw light on +the appalling problem which Mme. de Beauseant had been trying for the +past month to solve:-- + + "My beloved angel, it seems like nonsense, does it not, to write + to you when there is nothing to keep us apart, when a caress so + often takes the place of words, and words too are caresses? Ah, + well, no, love. There are some things that a woman cannot say when + she is face to face with the man she loves; at the bare thought of + them her voice fails her, and the blood goes back to her heart; + she has no strength, no intelligence left. It hurts me to feel + like this when you are near me, and it happens often. I feel that + my heart should be wholly sincere for you; that I should disguise + no thought, however transient, in my heart; and I love the sweet + carelessness, which suits me so well, too much to endure this + embarrassment and constraint any longer. So I will tell you about + my anguish--yes, it is anguish. Listen to me! do not begin with + the little 'Tut, tut, tut,' that you use to silence me, an + impertinence that I love, because anything from you pleases me. + Dear soul from heaven, wedded to mine, let me first tell you that + you have effaced all memory of the pain that once was crushing the + life out of me. I did not know what love was before I knew you. + Only the candor of your beautiful young life, only the purity of + that great soul of yours, could satisfy the requirements of an + exacting woman's heart. Dear love, how very often I have thrilled + with joy to think that in these nine long, swift years, my + jealousy has not been once awakened. All the flowers of your soul + have been mine, all your thoughts. There has not been the faintest + cloud in our heaven; we have not known what sacrifice is; we have + always acted on the impulses of our hearts. I have known + happiness, infinite for a woman. Will the tears that drench this + sheet tell you all my gratitude? I could wish that I had knelt to + write the words!--Well, out of this felicity has arisen torture + more terrible than the pain of desertion. Dear, there are very + deep recesses in a woman's heart; how deep in my own heart, I did + not know myself until to-day, as I did not know the whole extent + of love. The greatest misery which could overwhelm us is a light + burden compared with the mere thought of harm for him whom we + love. And how if we cause the harm, is it not enough to make one + die?... This is the thought that is weighing upon me. But + it brings in its train another thought that is heavier far, a + thought that tarnishes the glory of love, and slays it, and turns + it into a humiliation which sullies life as long as it lasts. You + are thirty years old; I am forty. What dread this difference in + age calls up in a woman who loves! It is possible that, first of + all unconsciously, afterwards in earnest, you have felt the + sacrifices that you have made by renouncing all in the world for + me. Perhaps you have thought of your future from the social point + of view, of the marriage which would, of course, increase your + fortune, and give you avowed happiness and children who would + inherit your wealth; perhaps you have thought of reappearing in + the world, and filling your place there honorably. And then, if + so, you must have repressed those thoughts, and felt glad to + sacrifice heiress and fortune and a fair future to me without my + knowledge. In your young man's generosity, you must have resolved + to be faithful to the vows which bind us each to each in the sight + of God. My past pain has risen up before your mind, and the misery + from which you rescued me has been my protection. To owe your love + to your pity! The thought is even more painful to me than the fear + of spoiling your life for you. The man who can bring himself to + stab his mistress is very charitable if he gives her her deathblow + while she is happy and ignorant of evil, while illusions are in + full blossom.... Yes, death is preferable to the two thoughts + which have secretly saddened the hours for several days. To-day, + when you asked 'What ails you?' so tenderly, the sound of your + voice made me shiver. I thought that, after your wont, you were + reading my very soul, and I waited for your confidence to come, + thinking that my presentiments had come true, and that I had + guessed all that was going on in your mind. Then I began to think + over certain little things that you always do for me, and I + thought I could see in you the sort of affection by which a man + betrays a consciousness that his loyalty is becoming a burden. And + in that moment I paid very dear for my happiness. I felt that + Nature always demands the price for the treasure called love. + Briefly, has not fate separated us? Can you have said, 'Sooner or + later I must leave poor Claire; why not separate in time?' I read + that thought in the depths of your eyes, and went away to cry by + myself. Hiding my tears from you! the first tears that I have shed + for sorrow for these ten years; I am too proud to let you see + them, but I did not reproach you in the least. + + "Yes, you are right. I ought not to be so selfish as to bind your + long and brilliant career to my so-soon out-worn life.... And + yet--how if I have been mistaken? How if I have taken your love + melancholy for a deliberation? Oh, my love, do not leave me in + suspense; punish this jealous wife of yours, but give her back the + sense of her love and yours; the whole woman lies in that--that + consciousness sanctifies everything. + + "Since your mother came, since you paid a visit to Mlle. de + Rodiere, I have been gnawed by doubts dishonoring to us both. Make + me suffer for this, but do not deceive me; I want to know + everything that your mother said and that you think! If you have + hesitated between some alternative and me, I give you back your + liberty.... I will not let you know what happens to me; I will + not shed tears for you to see; only--I will not see you again.... + Ah! I cannot go on, my heart is breaking.................. + I have been sitting benumbed and stupid for some moments. Dear love, + I do not find that any feeling of pride rises against you; you are so + kind-hearted, so open; you would find it impossible to hurt me or + to deceive me; and you will tell me the truth, however cruel it may + be. Do you wish me to encourage your confession? Well, then, heart + of mine, I shall find comfort in a woman's thought. Has not the + youth of your being been mine, your sensitive, wholly gracious, + beautiful, and delicate youth? No woman shall find henceforth the + Gaston whom I have known, nor the delicious happiness that he has + given me.... No; you will never love again as you have loved, + as you love me now; no, I shall never have a rival, it is + impossible. There will be no bitterness in my memories of our + love, and I shall think of nothing else. It is out of your power + to enchant any woman henceforth by the childish provocations, the + charming ways of a young heart, the soul's winning charm, the + body's grace, the swift communion of rapture, the whole divine + cortege of young love, in fine. + + "Oh, you are a man now, you will obey your destiny, weighing and + considering all things. You will have cares, and anxieties, and + ambitions, and concerns that will rob _her_ of the unchanging + smile that made your lips fair for me. The tones that were always + so sweet for me will be troubled at times; and your eyes that + lighted up with radiance from heaven at the sight of me, will + often be lustreless for _her_. And besides, as it is impossible to + love you as I love you, you will never care for that woman as you + have cared for me. She will never keep a constant watch over + herself as I have done; she will never study your happiness at + every moment with an intuition which has never failed me. Ah, yes, + the man, the heart and soul, which I shall have known will exist + no longer. I shall bury him deep in my memory, that I may have the + joy of him still; I shall live happy in that fair past life of + ours, a life hidden from all but our inmost selves. + + "Dear treasure of mine, if all the while no least thought of + liberty has risen in your mind, if my love is no burden on you, if + my fears are chimerical, if I am still your Eve--the one woman in + the world for you--come to me as soon as you have read this + letter, come quickly! Ah, in one moment I will love you more than + I have ever loved you, I think, in these nine years. After + enduring the needless torture of these doubts of which I am + accusing myself, every added day of love, yes, every single day, + will be a whole lifetime of bliss. So speak, and speak openly; do + not deceive me, it would be a crime. Tell me, do you wish for your + liberty? Have you thought of all that a man's life means? Is there + any regret in your mind? That _I_ should cause you a regret! I + should die of it. I have said it: I love you enough to set your + happiness above mine, your life before my own. Leave on one side, + if you can, the wealth of memories of our nine years' happiness, + that they may not influence your decision, but speak! I submit + myself to you as to God, the one Consoler who remains if you + forsake me." + +When Mme. de Beauseant knew that her letter was in M. de Nueil's hands, +she sank in such utter prostration, the over-pressure of many thoughts +so numbed her faculties, that she seemed almost drowsy. At any rate, she +was suffering from a pain not always proportioned in its intensity to +a woman's strength; pain which women alone know. And while the unhappy +Marquise awaited her doom, M. de Nueil, reading her letter, felt that he +was "in a very difficult position," to use the expression that young men +apply to a crisis of this kind. + +By this time he had all but yielded to his mother's importunities and +to the attractions of Mlle. de la Rodiere, a somewhat insignificant, +pink-and-white young person, as straight as a poplar. It is true that, +in accordance with the rules laid down for marriageable young ladies, +she scarcely opened her mouth, but her rent-roll of forty thousand +livres spoke quite sufficiently for her. Mme. de Nueil, with a mother's +sincere affection, tried to entangle her son in virtuous courses. She +called his attention to the fact that it was a flattering distinction +to be preferred by Mlle. de la Rodiere, who had refused so many great +matches; it was quite time, she urged, that he should think of his +future, such a good opportunity might not repeat itself, some day +he would have eighty thousand livres of income from land; money made +everything bearable; if Mme. de Beauseant loved him for his own +sake, she ought to be the first to urge him to marry. In short, the +well-intentioned mother forgot no arguments which the feminine intellect +can bring to bear upon the masculine mind, and by these means she had +brought her son into a wavering condition. + +Mme. de Beauseant's letter arrived just as Gaston's love of her was +holding out against the temptations of a settled life conformable to +received ideas. That letter decided the day. He made up his mind to +break off with the Marquise and to marry. + +"One must live a man's life," said he to himself. + +Then followed some inkling of the pain that this decision would give to +Mme. de Beauseant. The man's vanity and the lover's conscience further +exaggerated this pain, and a sincere pity for her seized upon him. +All at once the immensity of the misery became apparent to him, and he +thought it necessary and charitable to deaden the deadly blow. He +hoped to bring Mme. de Beauseant to a calm frame of mind by gradually +reconciling her to the idea of separation; while Mlle. de la Rodiere, +always like a shadowy third between them, should be sacrificed to her at +first, only to be imposed upon her later. His marriage should take place +later, in obedience to Mme. de Beauseant's expressed wish. He went so +far as to enlist the Marquise's nobleness and pride and all the great +qualities of her nature to help him to succeed in this compassionate +design. He would write a letter at once to allay her suspicions. _A +letter!_ For a woman with the most exquisite feminine perception, as +well as the intuition of passionate love, a letter in itself was a +sentence of death. + +So when Jacques came and brought Mme. de Beauseant a sheet of paper +folded in a triangle, she trembled, poor woman, like a snared swallow. A +mysterious sensation of physical cold spread from head to foot, wrapping +her about in an icy winding sheet. If he did not rush to her feet, if he +did not come to her in tears, and pale, and like a lover, she knew that +all was lost. And yet, so many hopes are there in the heart of a woman +who loves, that she is only slain by stab after stab, and loves on till +the last drop of life-blood drains away. + +"Does madame need anything?" Jacques asked gently, as he went away. + +"No," she said. + +"Poor fellow!" she thought, brushing a tear from her eyes, "he guesses +my feelings, servant though he is!" + +She read: "My beloved, you are inventing idle terrors for yourself..." +The Marquise gazed at the words, and a thick mist spread before her +eyes. A voice in her heart cried, "He lies!"--Then she glanced down the +page with the clairvoyant eagerness of passion, and read these words at +the foot, "_Nothing has been decided as yet..._" Turning to the +other side with convulsive quickness, she saw the mind of the writer +distinctly through the intricacies of the wording; this was no +spontaneous outburst of love. She crushed it in her fingers, twisted it, +tore it with her teeth, flung it in the fire, and cried aloud, "Ah! base +that he is! I was his, and he had ceased to love me!" + +She sank half dead upon the couch. + + + +M. de Nueil went out as soon as he had written his letter. When he came +back, Jacques met him on the threshold with a note. "Madame la Marquise +has left the chateau," said the man. + +M. de Nueil, in amazement, broke the seal and read:-- + + "MADAME,--If I could cease to love you, to take the chances of + becoming an ordinary man which you hold out to me, you must admit + that I should thoroughly deserve my fate. No, I shall not do as + you bid me; the oath of fidelity which I swear to you shall only + be absolved by death. Ah! take my life, unless indeed you do not + fear to carry a remorse all through your own..." + +It was his own letter, written to the Marquise as she set out for Geneva +nine years before. At the foot of it Claire de Bourgogne had written, +"Monsieur, you are free." + +M. de Nueil went to his mother at Manerville. In less than three weeks +he married Mlle. Stephanie de la Rodiere. + + + +If this commonplace story of real life ended here, it would be to some +extent a sort of mystification. The first man you meet can tell you a +better. But the widespread fame of the catastrophe (for, unhappily, this +is a true tale), and all the memories which it may arouse in those who +have known the divine delights of infinite passion, and lost them +by their own deed, or through the cruelty of fate,--these things may +perhaps shelter the story from criticism. + +Mme. la Marquise de Beauseant never left Valleroy after her parting from +M. de Nueil. After his marriage she still continued to live there, for +some inscrutable woman's reason; any woman is at liberty to assign +the one which most appeals to her. Claire de Bourgogne lived in such +complete retirement that none of the servants, save Jacques and her own +woman, ever saw their mistress. She required absolute silence all about +her, and only left her room to go to the chapel on the Valleroy estate, +whither a neighboring priest came to say mass every morning. + +The Comte de Nueil sank a few days after his marriage into something +like conjugal apathy, which might be interpreted to mean happiness or +unhappiness equally easily. + +"My son is perfectly happy," his mother said everywhere. + +Mme. Gaston de Nueil, like a great many young women, was a rather +colorless character, sweet and passive. A month after her marriage she +had expectations of becoming a mother. All this was quite in accordance +with ordinary views. M. de Nueil was very nice to her; but two months +after his separation from the Marquise, he grew notably thoughtful and +abstracted. But then he always had been serious, his mother said. + +After seven months of this tepid happiness, a little thing occurred, one +of those seemingly small matters which imply such great development of +thought and such widespread trouble of the soul, that only the bare fact +can be recorded; the interpretation of it must be left to the fancy of +each individual mind. One day, when M. de Nueil had been shooting over +the lands of Manerville and Valleroy, he crossed Mme. de Beauseant's +park on his way home, summoned Jacques, and when the man came, asked +him, "Whether the Marquise was as fond of game as ever?" + +Jacques answering in the affirmative, Gaston offered him a good round +sum (accompanied by plenty of specious reasoning) for a very little +service. Would he set aside for the Marquise the game that the Count +would bring? It seemed to Jacques to be a matter of no great importance +whether the partridge on which his mistress dined had been shot by +her keeper or by M. de Nueil, especially since the latter particularly +wished that the Marquise should know nothing about it. + +"It was killed on her land," said the Count, and for some days Jacques +lent himself to the harmless deceit. Day after day M. de Nueil went +shooting, and came back at dinner-time with an empty bag. A whole week +went by in this way. Gaston grew bold enough to write a long letter +to the Marquise, and had it conveyed to her. It was returned to him +unopened. The Marquise's servant brought it back about nightfall. The +Count, sitting in the drawing-room listening, while his wife at the +piano mangled a _Caprice_ of Herold's, suddenly sprang up and rushed +out to the Marquise, as if he were flying to an assignation. He dashed +through a well-known gap into the park, and went slowly along the +avenues, stopping now and again for a little to still the loud beating +of his heart. Smothered sounds as he came nearer the chateau told him +that the servants must be at supper, and he went straight to Mme. de +Beauseant's room. + +Mme. de Beauseant never left her bedroom. M. de Nueil could gain the +doorway without making the slightest sound. There, by the light of two +wax candles, he saw the thin, white Marquise in a great armchair; her +head was bowed, her hands hung listlessly, her eyes gazing fixedly at +some object which she did not seem to see. Her whole attitude spoke of +hopeless pain. There was a vague something like hope in her bearing, +but it was impossible to say whither Claire de Bourgogne was +looking--forwards to the tomb or backwards into the past. Perhaps M. +de Nueil's tears glittered in the deep shadows; perhaps his breathing +sounded faintly; perhaps unconsciously he trembled, or again it may have +been impossible that he should stand there, his presence unfelt by that +quick sense which grows to be an instinct, the glory, the delight, the +proof of perfect love. However it was, Mme. de Beauseant slowly turned +her face towards the doorway, and beheld her lover of bygone days. Then +Gaston de Nueil came forward a few paces. + +"If you come any further, sir," exclaimed the Marquise, growing paler, +"I shall fling myself out of the window!" + +She sprang to the window, flung it open, and stood with one foot on +the ledge, her hand upon the iron balustrade, her face turned towards +Gaston. + +"Go out! go out!" she cried, "or I will throw myself over." + +At that dreadful cry the servants began to stir, and M. de Nueil fled +like a criminal. + +When he reached his home again he wrote a few lines and gave them to his +own man, telling him to give the letter himself into Mme. de Beauseant's +hands, and to say that it was a matter of life and death for his master. +The messenger went. M. de Nueil went back to the drawing-room where his +wife was still murdering the _Caprice_, and sat down to wait till the +answer came. An hour later, when the _Caprice_ had come to an end, and +the husband and wife sat in silence on opposite sides of the hearth, +the man came back from Valleroy and gave his master his own letter, +unopened. + +M. de Nueil went into a small room beyond the drawing-room, where he had +left his rifle, and shot himself. + +The swift and fatal ending of the drama, contrary as it is to all the +habits of young France, is only what might have been expected. Those who +have closely observed, or known for themselves by delicious experience, +all that is meant by the perfect union of two beings, will understand +Gaston de Nueil's suicide perfectly well. A woman does not bend and form +herself in a day to the caprices of passion. The pleasure of loving, +like some rare flower, needs the most careful ingenuity of culture. +Time alone, and two souls attuned each to each, can discover all its +resources, and call into being all the tender and delicate delights for +which we are steeped in a thousand superstitions, imagining them to be +inherent in the heart that lavishes them upon us. It is this wonderful +response of one nature to another, this religious belief, this certainty +of finding peculiar or excessive happiness in the presence of one we +love, that accounts in part for perdurable attachments and long-lived +passion. If a woman possesses the genius of her sex, love never comes to +be a matter of use and wont. She brings all her heart and brain to love, +clothes her tenderness in forms so varied, there is such art in her +most natural moments, or so much nature in her art, that in absence +her memory is almost as potent as her presence. All other women are as +shadows compared with her. Not until we have lost or known the dread of +losing a love so vast and glorious, do we prize it at its just worth. +And if a man who has once possessed this love shuts himself out from it +by his own act and deed, and sinks to some loveless marriage; if by some +incident, hidden in the obscurity of married life, the woman with whom +he hoped to know the same felicity makes it clear that it will never +be revived for him; if, with the sweetness of divine love still on his +lips, he has dealt a deadly wound to _her_, his wife in truth, whom he +forsook for a social chimera,--then he must either die or take refuge +in a materialistic, selfish, and heartless philosophy, from which +impassioned souls shrink in horror. + + +As for Mme. de Beauseant, she doubtless did not imagine that her +friend's despair could drive him to suicide, when he had drunk deep of +love for nine years. Possibly she may have thought that she alone was +to suffer. At any rate, she did quite rightly to refuse the most +humiliating of all positions; a wife may stoop for weighty social +reasons to a kind of compromise which a mistress is bound to hold in +abhorrence, for in the purity of her passion lies all its justification. + + +ANGOULEME, September 1832. + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Beauseant, Marquis and Comte de + Father Goriot + An Episode under the Terror + + Beauseant, Marquise de + Letters of Two Brides + + Beauseant, Vicomte de + Father Goriot + + Beauseant, Vicomtesse de + Father Goriot + Albert Savarus + + Champignelles, De + The Seamy Side of History + + Jacques (M. de Beauseant's butler) + Father Goriot + + Nueil, Gaston de + The Deserted Woman + Albert Savarus + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Deserted Woman, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DESERTED WOMAN *** + +***** This file should be named 1729.txt or 1729.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/2/1729/ + +Produced by John Bickers, and Dagny + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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