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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ivanoff + A Play + +Author: Anton Checkov + +Release Date: November 23, 2008 [EBook #1755] +Last Updated: November 26, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + + + + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + IVANOFF + </h1> + <h2> + A PLAY + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + By Anton Checkov + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + Contents + </h3> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> CHARACTERS </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <b>IVANOFF</b> </a> + </p> + <br /> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> ACT I </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> ACT II </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> ACT III </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> ACT IV </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + CHARACTERS + </h2> + <p> + NICHOLAS IVANOFF, perpetual member of the Council of Peasant Affairs + </p> + <p> + ANNA, his wife. Nee Sarah Abramson + </p> + <p> + MATTHEW SHABELSKI, a count, uncle of Ivanoff + </p> + <p> + PAUL LEBEDIEFF, President of the Board of the Zemstvo + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA, his wife + </p> + <p> + SASHA, their daughter, twenty years old + </p> + <p> + LVOFF, a young government doctor + </p> + <p> + MARTHA BABAKINA, a young widow, owner of an estate and daughter of a rich + merchant + </p> + <p> + KOSICH, an exciseman + </p> + <p> + MICHAEL BORKIN, a distant relative of Ivanoff, and manager of his estate + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, an old woman + </p> + <p> + GEORGE, lives with the Lebedieffs + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST SECOND GUEST THIRD GUEST FOURTH GUEST + </p> + <p> + PETER, a servant of Ivanoff + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL, a servant of Lebedieff + </p> + <p> + GUESTS OF BOTH SEXES + </p> + <p> + The play takes place in one of the provinces of central Russia + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + IVANOFF + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <div class="play"> + <h2> + ACT I + </h2> + <p> + The garden of IVANOFF'S country place. On the left is a terrace and the + facade of the house. One window is open. Below the terrace is a broad + semicircular lawn, from which paths lead to right and left into a + garden. On the right are several garden benches and tables. A lamp is + burning on one of the tables. It is evening. As the curtain rises sounds + of the piano and violoncello are heard. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF is sitting at a table reading. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN, in top-boots and carrying a gun, comes in from the rear of the + garden. He is a little tipsy. As he sees IVANOFF he comes toward him on + tiptoe, and when he comes opposite him he stops and points the gun at + his face. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Catches sight of BORKIN. Shudders and jumps to his feet] + Misha! What are you doing? You frightened me! I can't stand your stupid + jokes when I am so nervous as this. And having frightened me, you laugh! + [He sits down.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Laughing loudly] There, I am sorry, really. I won't do it + again. Indeed I won't. [Take off his cap] How hot it is! Just think, my + dear boy, I have covered twelve miles in the last three hours. I am worn + out. Just feel how my heart is beating. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Goes on reading] Oh, very well. I shall feel it later! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, feel it now. [He takes IVANOFF'S hand and presses it against + his breast] Can you feel it thumping? That means that it is weak and + that I may die suddenly at any moment. Would you be sorry if I died? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am reading now. I shall attend to you later. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, seriously, would you be sorry if I died? Nicholas, would you + be sorry if I died? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Leave me alone! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Come, tell me if you would be sorry or not. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am sorry that you smell so of vodka, Misha, it is disgusting. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Do I smell of vodka? How strange! And yet, it is not so strange + after all. I met the magistrate on the road, and I must admit that we + did drink about eight glasses together. Strictly speaking, of course, + drinking is very harmful. Listen, it is harmful, isn't it? Is it? Is it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is unendurable! Let me warn you, Misha, that you are going + too far. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Well, well, excuse me. Sit here by yourself then, for heaven's + sake, if it amuses you. [Gets up and goes away] What extraordinary + people one meets in the world. They won't even allow themselves to be + spoken to. [He comes back] Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. Please let me have + eighty-two roubles. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why do you want eighty-two roubles? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. To pay the workmen to-morrow. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't the money. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Many thanks. [Angrily] So you haven't the money! And yet the + workmen must be paid, mustn't they? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't know. Wait till my salary comes in on the first of the + month. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. How is it possible to discuss anything with a man like you? + Can't you understand that the workmen are coming to-morrow morning and + not on the first of the month? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How can I help it? I'll be hanged if I can do anything about it + now. And what do you mean by this irritating way you have of pestering + me whenever I am trying to read or write or—— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Must the workmen be paid or not, I ask you? But, good gracious! + What is the use of talking to you! [Waves his hand] Do you think because + you own an estate you can command the whole world? With your two + thousand acres and your empty pockets you are like a man who has a + cellar full of wine and no corkscrew. I have sold the oats as they stand + in the field. Yes, sir! And to-morrow I shall sell the rye and the + carriage horses. [He stamps up and down] Do you think I am going to + stand upon ceremony with you? Certainly not! I am not that kind of a + man! + </p> + <p> + ANNA appears at the open window. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Whose voice did I hear just now? Was it yours, Misha? Why are you + stamping up and down? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Anybody who had anything to do with your Nicholas would stamp up + and down. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Listen, Misha! Please have some hay carried onto the croquet lawn. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Waves his hand] Leave me alone, please! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, what manners! They are not becoming to you at all. If you want + to be liked by women you must never let them see you when you are angry + or obstinate. [To her husband] Nicholas, let us go and play on the lawn + in the hay! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Don't you know it is bad for you to stand at the open window, + Annie? [Calls] Shut the window, Uncle! + </p> + <p> + [The window is shut from the inside.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Don't forget that the interest on the money you owe Lebedieff + must be paid in two days. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't forgotten it. I am going over to see Lebedieff today + and shall ask him to wait. + </p> + <p> + [He looks at his watch.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. When are you going? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. At once. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Wait! Wait! Isn't this Sasha's birthday? So it is! The idea of + my forgetting it. What a memory I have. [Jumps about] I shall go with + you! [Sings] I shall go, I shall go! Nicholas, old man, you are the joy + of my life. If you were not always so nervous and cross and gloomy, you + and I could do great things together. I would do anything for you. Shall + I marry Martha Babakina and give you half her fortune? That is, not + half, either, but all—take it all! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Enough of this nonsense! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, seriously, shan't I marry Martha and halve the money with + you? But no, why should I propose it? How can you understand? [Angrily] + You say to me: "Stop talking nonsense!" You are a good man and a clever + one, but you haven't any red blood in your veins or any—well, + enthusiasm. Why, if you wanted to, you and I could cut a dash together + that would shame the devil himself. If you were a normal man instead of + a morbid hypochondriac we would have a million in a year. For instance, + if I had twenty-three hundred roubles now I could make twenty thousand + in two weeks. You don't believe me? You think it is all nonsense? No, it + isn't nonsense. Give me twenty-three hundred roubles and let me try. + Ofsianoff is selling a strip of land across the river for that price. If + we buy this, both banks will be ours, and we shall have the right to + build a dam across the river. Isn't that so? We can say that we intend + to build a mill, and when the people on the river below us hear that we + mean to dam the river they will, of course, object violently and we + shall say: If you don't want a dam here you will have to pay to get us + away. Do you see the result? The factory would give us five thousand + roubles, Korolkoff three thousand, the monastery five thousand more— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. All that is simply idiotic, Misha. If you don't want me to lose + my temper you must keep your schemes to yourself. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sits down at the table] Of course! I knew how it would be! You + never will act for yourself, and you tie my hands so that I am helpless. + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. The only difference between lawyers and doctors is that + lawyers simply rob you, whereas doctors both rob you and kill you. I am + not referring to any one present. [Sits down on the bench] They are all + frauds and swindlers. Perhaps in Arcadia you might find an exception to + the general rule and yet—I have treated thousands of sick people + myself in my life, and I have never met a doctor who did not seem to me + to be an unmistakable scoundrel. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To IVANOFF] Yes, you tie my hands and never do anything for + yourself, and that is why you have no money. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. As I said before, I am not referring to any one here at + present; there may be exceptions though, after all—[He yawns.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Shuts his book] What have you to tell me, doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Looks toward the window] Exactly what I said this morning: she + must go to the Crimea at once. [Walks up and down.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Bursts out laughing] To the Crimea! Why don't you and I set + up as doctors, Misha? Then, if some Madame Angot or Ophelia finds the + world tiresome and begins to cough and be consumptive, all we shall have + to do will be to write out a prescription according to the laws of + medicine: that is, first, we shall order her a young doctor, and then a + journey to the Crimea. There some fascinating young Tartar—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Interrupting] Oh, don't be coarse! [To LVOFF] It takes money + to go to the Crimea, and even if I could afford it, you know she has + refused to go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Yes, she has. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Look here, doctor, is Anna really so ill that she absolutely + must go to the Crimea? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Looking toward the window] Yes, she has consumption. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Whew! How sad! I have seen in her face for some time that she + could not last much longer. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Can't you speak quietly? She can hear everything you say. [A + pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sighing] The life of man is like a flower, blooming so gaily in + a field. Then, along comes a goat, he eats it, and the flower is gone! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, nonsense, nonsense. [Yawning] Everything is a fraud and a + swindle. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Gentlemen, I have been trying to tell Nicholas how he can make + some money, and have submitted a brilliant plan to him, but my seed, as + usual, has fallen on barren soil. Look what a sight he is now: dull, + cross, bored, peevish—— + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Gets up and stretches himself] You are always inventing + schemes for everybody, you clever fellow, and telling them how to live; + can't you tell me something? Give me some good advice, you ingenious + young man. Show me a good move to make. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Getting up] I am going to have a swim. Goodbye, gentlemen. [To + Shabelski] There are at least twenty good moves you could make. If I + were you I should have twenty thousand roubles in a week. + </p> + <p> + [He goes out; SHABELSKI follows him.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. How would you do it? Come, explain. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. There is nothing to explain, it is so simple. [Coming back] + Nicholas, give me a rouble. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF silently hands him the money + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Thanks. Shabelski, you still hold some trump cards. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI follows him out. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Well, what are they? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. If I were you I should have thirty thousand roubles and more in + a week. [They go out together.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [After a pause] Useless people, useless talk, and the necessity + of answering stupid questions, have wearied me so, doctor, that I am + ill. I have become so irritable and bitter that I don't know myself. My + head aches for days at a time. I hear a ringing in my ears, I can't + sleep, and yet there is no escape from it all, absolutely none. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Ivanoff, I have something serious to speak to you about. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What is it? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. It is about your wife. She refuses to go to the Crimea alone, but + she would go with you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Thoughtfully] It would cost a great deal for us both to go, + and besides, I could not get leave to be away for so long. I have had + one holiday already this year. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Very well, let us admit that. Now to proceed. The best cure for + consumption is absolute peace of mind, and your wife has none whatever. + She is forever excited by your behaviour to her. Forgive me, I am + excited and am going to speak frankly. Your treatment of her is killing + her. [A pause] Ivanoff, let me believe better things of you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What you say is true, true. I must be terribly guilty, but my + mind is confused. My will seems to be paralysed by a kind of stupor; I + can't understand myself or any one else. [Looks toward the window] Come, + let us take a walk, we might be overheard here. [They get up] My dear + friend, you should hear the whole story from the beginning if it were + not so long and complicated that to tell it would take all night. [They + walk up and down] Anna is a splendid, an exceptional woman. She has left + her faith, her parents and her fortune for my sake. If I should demand a + hundred other sacrifices, she would consent to every one without the + quiver of an eyelid. Well, I am not a remarkable man in any way, and + have sacrificed nothing. However, the story is a long one. In short, the + whole point is, my dear doctor—[Confused] that I married her for + love and promised to love her forever, and now after five years she + loves me still and I—[He waves his hand] Now, when you tell me she + is dying, I feel neither love nor pity, only a sort of loneliness and + weariness. To all appearances this must seem horrible, and I cannot + understand myself what is happening to me. [They go out.] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI comes in. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing] Upon my word, that man is no scoundrel, but a + great thinker, a master-mind. He deserves a memorial. He is the essence + of modern ingenuity, and combines in himself alone the genius of the + lawyer, the doctor, and the financier. [He sits down on the lowest step + of the terrace] And yet he has never finished a course of studies in any + college; that is so surprising. What an ideal scoundrel he would have + made if he had acquired a little culture and mastered the sciences! "You + could make twenty thousand roubles in a week," he said. "You still hold + the ace of trumps: it is your title." [Laughing] He said I might get a + rich girl to marry me for it! [ANNA opens the window and looks down] + "Let me make a match between you and Martha," says he. Who is this + Martha? It must be that Balabalkina—Babakalkina woman, the one + that looks like a laundress. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Is that you, Count? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + ANNA laughs. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [With a Jewish accent] Vy do you laugh? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I was thinking of something you said at dinner, do you remember? + How was it—a forgiven thief, a doctored horse. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. A forgiven thief, a doctored horse, and a Christianised Jew + are all worth the same price. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Laughing] You can't even repeat the simplest saying without + ill-nature. You are a most malicious old man. [Seriously] Seriously, + Count you are extremely disagreeable, and very tiresome and painful to + live with. You are always grumbling and growling, and everybody to you + is a blackguard and a scoundrel. Tell me honestly, Count, have you ever + spoken well of any one? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Is this an inquisition? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. We have lived under this same roof now for five years, and I have + never heard you speak kindly of people, or without bitterness and + derision. What harm has the world done to you? Is it possible that you + consider yourself better than any one else? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Not at all. I think we are all of us scoundrels and + hypocrites. I myself am a degraded old man, and as useless as a cast-off + shoe. I abuse myself as much as any one else. I was rich once, and free, + and happy at times, but now I am a dependent, an object of charity, a + joke to the world. When I am at last exasperated and defy them, they + answer me with a laugh. When I laugh, they shake their heads sadly and + say, "The old man has gone mad." But oftenest of all I am unheard and + unnoticed by every one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Quietly] Screaming again. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Who is screaming? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. The owl. It screams every evening. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Let it scream. Things are as bad as they can be already. + [Stretches himself] Alas, my dear Sarah! If I could only win a thousand + or two roubles, I should soon show you what I could do. I wish you could + see me! I should get away out of this hole, and leave the bread of + charity, and should not show my nose here again until the last judgment + day. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. What would you do if you were to win so much money? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Thoughtfully] First I would go to Moscow to hear the Gipsies + play, and then—then I should fly to Paris and take an apartment + and go to the Russian Church. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. And what else? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I would go and sit on my wife's grave for days and days and + think. I would sit there until I died. My wife is buried in Paris. [A + pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. How terribly dull this is! Shall we play a duet? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. As you like. Go and get the music ready. [ANNA goes out.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF and LVOFF appear in one of the paths. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My dear friend, you left college last year, and you are still + young and brave. Being thirty-five years old I have the right to advise + you. Don't marry a Jewess or a bluestocking or a woman who is queer in + any way. Choose some nice, common-place girl without any strange and + startling points in her character. Plan your life for quiet; the greyer + and more monotonous you can make the background, the better. My dear + boy, do not try to fight alone against thousands; do not tilt with + windmills; do not dash yourself against the rocks. And, above all, may + you be spared the so-called rational life, all wild theories and + impassioned talk. Everything is in the hands of God, so shut yourself up + in your shell and do your best. That is the pleasant, honest, healthy + way to live. But the life I have chosen has been so tiring, oh, so + tiring! So full of mistakes, of injustice and stupidity! [Catches sight + of SHABELSKI, and speaks angrily] There you are again, Uncle, always + under foot, never letting one have a moment's quiet talk! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [In a tearful voice] Is there no refuge anywhere for a poor + old devil like me? [He jumps up and runs into the house.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Now I have offended him! Yes, my nerves have certainly gone to + pieces. I must do something about it, I must—— + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Excitedly] Ivanoff, I have heard all you have to say and—and—I + am going to speak frankly. You have shown me in your voice and manner, + as well as in your words, the most heartless egotism and pitiless + cruelty. Your nearest friend is dying simply because she is near you, + her days are numbered, and you can feel such indifference that you go + about giving advice and analysing your feelings. I cannot say all I + should like to; I have not the gift of words, but—but I can at + least say that you are deeply antipathetic to me. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I suppose I am. As an onlooker, of course you see me more + clearly than I see myself, and your judgment of me is probably right. No + doubt I am terribly guilty. [Listens] I think I hear the carriage + coming. I must get ready to go. [He goes toward the house and then + stops] You dislike me, doctor, and you don't conceal it. Your sincerity + does you credit. [He goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Alone] What a confoundedly disagreeable character! I have let + another opportunity slip without speaking to him as I meant to, but I + simply cannot talk calmly to that man. The moment I open my mouth to + speak I feel such a commotion and suffocation here [He puts his hand on + his breast] that my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. Oh, I loathe + that Tartuffe, that unmitigated rascal, with all my heart! There he is, + preparing to go driving in spite of the entreaties of his unfortunate + wife, who adores him and whose only happiness is his presence. She + implores him to spend at least one evening with her, and he cannot even + do that. Why, he might shoot himself in despair if he had to stay at + home! Poor fellow, what he wants are new fields for his villainous + schemes. Oh, I know why you go to Lebedieff's every evening, Ivanoff! I + know. + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF, in hat and coat, ANNA and SHABELSKI + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Look here, Nicholas, this is simply barbarous You go away + every evening and leave us here alone, and we get so bored that we have + to go to bed at eight o'clock. It is a scandal, and no decent way of + living. Why can you go driving if we can't? Why? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Let him go if he wants to. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How can a sick woman like you go anywhere? You know you have a + cough and must not go out after sunset. Ask the doctor here. You are no + child, Annie, you must be reasonable. And as for you, what would you do + with yourself over there? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I am ready to go anywhere: into the jaws of a crocodile, or + even into the jaws of hell, so long as I don't have to stay here. I am + horribly bored. I am stupefied by this dullness. Every one here is tired + of me. You leave me at home to entertain Anna, but I feel more like + scratching and biting her. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Leave him alone, Count. Leave him alone. Let him go if he enjoys + himself there. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What does this mean, Annie? You know I am not going for + pleasure. I must see Lebedieff about the money I owe him. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I don't see why you need justify yourself to me. Go ahead! Who is + keeping you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Heavens! Don't let us bite one another's heads off. Is that + really unavoidable? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Tearfully] Nicholas, my dear boy, do please take me with + you. I might possibly be amused a little by the sight of all the fools + and scoundrels I should see there. You know I haven't been off this + place since Easter. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Exasperated] Oh, very well! Come along then! How tiresome you + all are! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I may go? Oh, thank you! [Takes him gaily by the arm and + leads him aside] May I wear your straw hat? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You may, only hurry, please. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI runs into the house. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. How tired I am of you all! But no, what am I saying? Annie, my + manner to you is insufferable, and it never used to be. Well, good-bye, + Annie. I shall be back by one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas! My dear husband, stay at home to-night! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Excitedly] Darling, sweetheart, my dear, unhappy one, I + implore you to let me leave home in the evenings. I know it is cruel and + unjust to ask this, but let me do you this injustice. It is such torture + for me to stay. As soon as the sun goes down my soul is overwhelmed by + the most horrible despair. Don't ask me why; I don't know; I swear I + don't. This dreadful melancholy torments me here, it drives me to the + Lebedieff's and there it grows worse than ever. I rush home; it still + pursues me; and so I am tortured all through the night. It is breaking + my heart. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas, won't you stay? We will talk together as we used to. We + will have supper together and read afterward. The old grumbler and I + have learned so many duets to play to you. [She kisses him. Then, after + a pause] I can't understand you any more. This has been going on for a + year now. What has changed you so? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't know. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. And why don't you want me to go driving with you in the evening? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. As you insist on knowing, I shall have to tell you. It is a + little cruel, but you had best understand. When this melancholy fit is + on me I begin to dislike you, Annie, and at such times I must escape + from you. In short, I simply have to leave this house. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, you are sad, are you? I can understand that! Nicholas, let me + tell you something: won't you try to sing and laugh and scold as you + used to? Stay here, and we will drink some liqueur together, and laugh, + and chase away this sadness of yours in no time. Shall I sing to you? Or + shall we sit in your study in the twilight as we used to, while you tell + me about your sadness? I can read such suffering in your eyes! Let me + look into them and weep, and our hearts will both be lighter. [She + laughs and cries at once] Or is it really true that the flowers return + with every spring, but lost happiness never returns? Oh, is it? Well, go + then, go! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Pray for me, Annie! [He goes; then stops and thinks for a + moment] No, I can't do it. [IVANOFF goes out.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Yes, go, go—[Sits down at the table.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Walking up and down] Make this a rule, Madam: as soon as the sun + goes down you must go indoors and not come out again until morning. The + damp evening air is bad for you. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Yes, sir! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. What do you mean by "Yes, sir"? I am speaking seriously. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. But I don't want to be serious. [She coughs.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. There now, you see, you are coughing already. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI comes out of the house in his hat and coat. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Where is Nicholas? Is the carriage here yet? [Goes quickly to + ANNA and kisses her hand] Good-night, my darling! [Makes a face and + speaks with a Jewish accent] I beg your bardon! [He goes quickly out.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Idiot! + </p> + <p> + A pause; the sounds of a concertina are heard in the distance. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Oh, how lonely it is! The coachman and the cook are having a + little ball in there by themselves, and I—I am, as it were, + abandoned. Why are you walking about, Doctor? Come and sit down here. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I can't sit down. + </p> + <p> + [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. They are playing "The Sparrow" in the kitchen. [She sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you? + On the mountain drinking dew." +</pre> + <p> + [A pause] Are your father and mother living, Doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. My mother is living; my father is dead. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Do you miss your mother very much? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I am too busy to miss any one. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Laughing] The flowers return with every spring, but lost + happiness never returns. I wonder who taught me that? I think it was + Nicholas himself. [Listens] The owl is hooting again. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Well, let it hoot. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I have begun to think, Doctor, that fate has cheated me. Other + people who, perhaps, are no better than I am are happy and have not had + to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for it all, every moment of + it, and such a price! Why should I have to pay so terribly? Dear friend, + you are all too considerate and gentle with me to tell me the truth; but + do you think I don't know what is the matter with me? I know perfectly + well. However, this isn't a pleasant subject—[With a Jewish + accent] "I beg your bardon!" Can you tell funny stories? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, I can't. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Nicholas can. I am beginning to be surprised, too, at the + injustice of people. Why do they return hatred for love, and answer + truth with lies? Can you tell me how much longer I shall be hated by my + mother and father? They live fifty miles away, and yet I can feel their + hatred day and night, even in my sleep. And how do you account for the + sadness of Nicholas? He says that he only dislikes me in the evening, + when the fit is on him. I understand that, and can tolerate it, but what + if he should come to dislike me altogether? Of course that is + impossible, and yet—no, no, I mustn't even imagine such a thing. + [Sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Sparrow, Sparrow, where are you?" +</pre> + <p> + [She shudders] What fearful thoughts I have! You are not married, + Doctor; there are many things that you cannot understand. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. You say you are surprised, but—but it is you who surprise + me. Tell me, explain to me how you, an honest and intelligent woman, + almost a saint, could allow yourself to be so basely deceived and + dragged into this den of bears? Why are you here? What have you in + common with such a cold and heartless—but enough of your husband! + What have you in common with these wicked and vulgar surroundings? With + that eternal grumbler, the crazy and decrepit Count? With that swindler, + that prince of rascals, Misha, with his fool's face? Tell me, I say, how + did you get here? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [laughing] That is what he used to say, long ago, oh, exactly! + Only his eyes are larger than yours, and when he was excited they used + to shine like coals—go on, go on! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Gets up and waves his hand] There is nothing more to say. Go + into the house. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You say that Nicholas is not what he should be, that his faults + are so and so. How can you possibly understand him? How can you learn to + know any one in six months? He is a wonderful man, Doctor, and I am + sorry you could not have known him as he was two or three years ago. He + is depressed and silent now, and broods all day without doing anything, + but he was splendid then. I fell in love with him at first sight. + [Laughing] I gave one look and was caught like a mouse in a trap! So + when he asked me to go with him I cut every tie that bound me to my old + life as one snips the withered leaves from a plant. But things are + different now. Now he goes to the Lebedieff's to amuse himself with + other women, and I sit here in the garden and listen to the owls. [The + WATCHMAN'S rattle is heard] Tell me, Doctor, have you any brothers and + sisters? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No. + </p> + <p> + ANNA sobs. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. What is it? What is the matter? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I can't stand it, Doctor, I must go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Where? + </p> + <p> + ANNA. To him. I am going. Have the horses harnessed. [She runs into the + house.] + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, I certainly cannot go on treating any one under these + conditions. I not only have to do it for nothing, but I am forced to + endure this agony of mind besides. No, no, I can't stand it. I have had + enough of it. [He goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT II + </h2> + <p> + The drawing-room of LEBEDIEFFÕS house. In the centre is a door leading + into a garden. Doors open out of the room to the right and left. The + room is furnished with valuable old furniture, which is carefully + protected by linen covers. The walls are hung with pictures. The room is + lighted by candelabra. ZINAIDA is sitting on a sofa; the elderly guests + are sitting in arm-chairs on either hand. The young guests are sitting + about the room on small chairs. KOSICH, AVDOTIA NAZAROVNA, GEORGE, and + others are playing cards in the background. GABRIEL is standing near the + door on the right. The maid is passing sweetmeats about on a tray. + During the entire act guests come and go from the garden, through the + room, out of the door on the left, and back again. Enter MARTHA through + the door on the right. She goes toward ZINAIDA. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Gaily] My dearest Martha! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How do you do, Zinaida? Let me congratulate you on your + daughter's birthday. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Thank you, my dear; I am delighted to see you. How are you? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Very well indeed, thank you. [She sits down on the sofa] Good + evening, young people! + </p> + <p> + The younger guests get up and bow. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. [Laughing] Young people indeed! Do you call yourself an old + person? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Sighing] How can I make any pretense to youth now? + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. What nonsense! The fact that you are a widow means nothing. + You could beat any pretty girl you chose at a canter. + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings MARTHA some tea. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Why do you bring the tea in like that? Go and fetch some jam to + eat with it! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. No thank you; none for me, don't trouble yourself. [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. [To MARTHA] Did you come through Mushkine on your way here? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. No, I came by way of Spassk. The road is better that way. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Yes, so it is. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Two in spades. + </p> + <p> + GEORGE. Pass. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Pass. + </p> + <p> + SECOND GUEST. Pass. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. The price of lottery tickets has gone up again, my dear. I have + never known such a state of affairs. The first issue is already worth + two hundred and seventy and the second nearly two hundred and fifty. + This has never happened before. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. How fortunate for those who have a great many tickets! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Don't say that, dear; even when the price of tickets is high it + does not pay to put one's capital into them. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Quite true, and yet, my dear, one never can tell what may + happen. Providence is sometimes kind. + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. My impression is, ladies, that at present capital is + exceedingly unproductive. Shares pay very small dividends, and + speculating is exceedingly dangerous. As I understand it, the capitalist + now finds himself in a more critical position than the man who—— + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Quite right. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST yawns. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How dare you yawn in the presence of ladies? + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I beg your pardon! It was quite an accident. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA gets up and goes out through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + GEORGE. Two in hearts. + </p> + <p> + SECOND GUEST. Pass. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Pass. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Aside] Heavens! This is deadly! I shall die of ennui. + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Why do you go off by yourself like a prima donna? Come and sit + with our guests! + </p> + <p> + [She sits down in her former place.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Yawning] Oh, dear, our sins are heavy! [He catches sight of + MARTHA] Why, there is my little sugar-plum! How is your most esteemed + highness? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Very well, thank you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Splendid, splendid! [He sits down in an armchair] Quite right—Oh, + Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings him a glass of vodka and a tumbler of water. He empties + the glass of vodka and sips the water. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Good health to you! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Good health is too much to ask. I am content to keep death + from the door. [To his wife] Where is the heroine of this occasion, + Zuzu? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [In a plaintive voice] Look here, why haven't we taken any + tricks yet? [He jumps up] Yes, why have we lost this game entirely, + confound it? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Jumps up angrily] Because, friend, you don't know how to play + it, and have no right to be sitting here at all. What right had you to + lead from another suit? Haven't you the ace left? [They both leave the + table and run forward.] + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [In a tearful voice] Ladies and gentlemen, let me explain! I had + the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of spades and one, + just one, little heart, do you understand? Well, she, bad luck to her, + she couldn't make a little slam. I said one in no-trumps—— * + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + * The game played is vint, the national card-game of Russia + and the direct ancestor of auction bridge, with which it is + almost identical. [translator's note] +</pre> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Interrupting him] No, I said one in no-trumps; you said two in + no-trumps—— + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. This is unbearable! Allow me—you had—I had—you + had—[To LEBEDIEFF] But you shall decide it, Paul: I had the ace, + king, queen, and eight of diamonds—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Puts his fingers into his ears] Stop, for heaven's sake, + stop! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Yelling] I said no-trumps, and not he! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Furiously] I'll be damned if I ever sit down to another game of + cards with that old cat! + </p> + <p> + He rushes into the garden. The SECOND GUEST follows him. GEORGE is left + alone at the table. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Whew! He makes my blood boil! Old cat, indeed! You're an old + cat yourself! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How angry you are, aunty! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Sees MARTHA and claps her hands] Are you here, my darling? My + beauty! And was I blind as a bat, and didn't see you? Darling child! + [She kisses her and sits down beside her] How happy this makes me! Let + me feast my eyes on you, my milk-white swan! Oh, oh, you have bewitched + me! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Why don't you find her a husband instead of singing her + praises? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. He shall be found. I shall not go to my grave before I have + found a husband for her, and one for Sasha too. I shall not go to my + grave—[She sighs] But where to find these husbands nowadays? There + sit some possible bridegrooms now, huddled together like a lot of + half-drowned rats! + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. A most unfortunate comparison! It is my belief, ladies, + that if the young men of our day prefer to remain single, the fault lies + not with them, but with the existing, social conditions! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, enough of that! Don't give us any mo re philosophy; I + don't like it! + </p> + <p> + Enter SASHA. She goes up to her father. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. How can you endure the stuffy air of this room when the weather + is so beautiful? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. My dear Sasha, don't you see that Martha is here? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I beg your pardon. + </p> + <p> + [She goes up to MARTHA and shakes hands.] + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Yes, here I am, my dear little Sasha, and proud to congratulate + you. [They kiss each other] Many happy returns of the day, dear! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Thank you! [She goes and sits down by her father.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. As you were saying, Avdotia Nazarovna, husbands are hard to + find. I don't want to be rude, but I must say that the young men of the + present are a dull and poky lot, poor fellows! They can't dance or talk + or drink as they should do. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, as far as drinking goes, they are all experts. Just give + them—give them—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Simply to drink is no art. A horse can drink. No, it must be + done in the right way. In my young days we used to sit and cudgel our + brains all day over our lessons, but as soon as evening came we would + fly off on some spree and keep it up till dawn. How we used to dance and + flirt, and drink, too! Or sometimes we would sit and chatter and discuss + everything under the sun until we almost wagged our tongues off. But now—[He + waves his hand] Boys are a puzzle to me. They are not willing either to + give a candle to God or a pitchfork to the devil! There is only one + young fellow in the country who is worth a penny, and he is married. + [Sighs] They say, too, that he is going crazy. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Who is he? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Nicholas Ivanoff. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Yes, he is a fine fellow, only [Makes a face] he is very + unhappy. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. How could he be otherwise, poor boy! [She sighs] He made such a + bad mistake. When he married that Jewess of his he thought of course + that her parents would give away whole mountains of gold with her, but, + on the contrary, on the day she became a Christian they disowned her, + and Ivanoff has never seen a penny of the money. He has repented of his + folly now, but it is too late. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Mother, that is not true! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. How can you say it is not true, Sasha, when we all know it to be + a fact? Why did he have to marry a Jewess? He must have had some reason + for doing it. Are Russian girls so scarce? No, he made a mistake, poor + fellow, a sad mistake. [Excitedly] And what on earth can he do with her + now? Where could she go if he were to come home some day and say: "Your + parents have deceived me; leave my house at once!" Her parents wouldn't + take her back. She might find a place as a house-maid if she had ever + learned to work, which she hasn't. He worries and worries her now, but + the Count interferes. If it had not been for the Count, he would have + worried her to death long ago. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. They say he shuts her up in a cellar and stuffs her with + garlic, and she eats and eats until her very soul reeks of it. + [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. But, father, you know that isn't true! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What if it isn't, Sasha? Let them spin yarns if it amuses + them. [He calls] Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + GABRIEL brings him another glass of vodka and a glass of water. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. His misfortunes have almost ruined him, poor man. His affairs + are in a frightful condition. If Borkin did not take such good charge of + his estate he and his Jewess would soon be starving to death. [She + sighs] And what anxiety he has caused us! Heaven only knows how we have + suffered. Do you realise, my dear, that for three years he has owed us + nine thousand roubles? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Horrified] Nine thousand! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Yes, that is the sum that my dear Paul has undertaken to lend + him. He never knows to whom it is safe to lend money and to whom it is + not. I don't worry about the principal, but he ought to pay the interest + on his debt. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Hotly] Mamma, you have already discussed this subject at least a + thousand times! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What difference does it make to you? Why should you interfere? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What is this mania you all have for gossiping about a man who has + never done any of you any harm? Tell me, what harm has he done you? + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. Let me say two words, Miss Sasha. I esteem Ivanoff, and + have always found him an honourable man, but, between ourselves, I also + consider him an adventurer. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I congratulate you on your opinion! + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. In proof of its truth, permit me to present to you the + following facts, as they were communicated to me by his secretary, or + shall I say rather, by his factotum, Borkin. Two years ago, at the time + of the cattle plague, he bought some cattle and had them insured— + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Yes, I remember hearing' of that. + </p> + <p> + THIRD GUEST. He had them insured, as you understand, and then inoculated + them with the disease and claimed the insurance. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Oh, what nonsense, nonsense, nonsense! No one bought or + inoculated any cattle! The story was invented by Borkin, who then went + about boasting of his clever plan. Ivanoff would not forgive Borkin for + two weeks after he heard of it. He is only guilty of a weak character + and too great faith in humanity. He can't make up his mind to get rid of + that Borkin, and so all his possessions have been tricked and stolen + from him. Every one who has had anything to do with Ivanoff has taken + advantage of his generosity to grow rich. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Sasha, you little firebrand, that will do! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Why do you all talk like this? This eternal subject of Ivanoff, + Ivanoff, and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable, and yet you never + speak of anything else. [She goes toward the door, then stops and comes + back] I am surprised, [To the young men] and utterly astonished at your + patience, young men! How can you sit there like that? Aren't you bored? + Why, the very air is as dull as ditchwater! Do, for heaven's sake say + something; try to amuse the girls a little, move about! Or if you can't + talk of anything except Ivanoff, you might laugh or sing or dance—— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] That's right, Sasha! Give them a good scolding. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Look here, will you do me a favour? If you refuse to dance or + sing or laugh, if all that is tedious, then let me beg you, implore you, + to summon all your powers, if only for this once, and make one witty or + clever remark. Let it be as impertinent and malicious as you like, so + long as it is funny and original. Won't you perform this miracle, just + once, to surprise us and make us laugh? Or else you might think of some + little thing which you could all do together, something to make you stir + about. Let the girls admire you for once in their lives! Listen to me! I + suppose you want them to like you? Then why don't try to make them do + it? Oh, dear! There is something wrong with you all! You are a lot of + sleepy stick-in-the-muds! I have told you so a thousand times and shall + always go on repeating it; there is something wrong with every one of + you; something wrong, wrong, wrong! + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Who is making a speech here? Is it you, Sasha? [He laughs and + shakes hands with her] Many happy returns of the day, my dear child. May + you live as long as possible in this life, but never be born again! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Joyfully] My dear Count! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Who can this be? Not you, Count? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side] Two gold mines + side by side! What a pleasant picture it makes! [He shakes hands with + ZINAIDA] Good evening, Zuzu! [Shakes hands with MARTHA] Good evening, + Birdie! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. I am charmed to see you, Count. You are a rare visitor here + now. [Calls] Gabriel, bring some tea! Please sit down. + </p> + <p> + She gets up and goes to the door and back, evidently much preoccupied. + SASHA sits down in her former place. IVANOFF silently shakes hands with + every one. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] What miracle has brought you here? You have + given us a great surprise. Why, Count, you're a rascal, you haven't been + treating us right at all. [Leads him forward by the hand] Tell me, why + don't you ever come to see us now? Are you offended? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. How can I get here to see you? Astride a broomstick? I have + no horses of my own, and Nicholas won't take me with him when he goes + out. He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah. Send your horses for me + and I shall come with pleasure. + </p> + <p> + LEBE DIEFF. [With a wave of the hand] Oh, that is easy to say! But Zuzu + would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one. My dear, dear + old friend, you are more to me than any one I know! You and I are + survivors of those good old days that are gone forever, and you alone + bring back to my mind the love and longings of my lost youth. Of course + I am only joking, and yet, do you know, I am almost in tears? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Stop, stop! You smell like the air of a wine cellar. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Dear friend, you cannot imagine how lonely I am without my + old companions! I could hang myself! [Whispers] Zuzu has frightened all + the decent men away with her stingy ways, and now we have only this + riff-raff, as you see: Tom, Dick, and Harry. However, drink your tea. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Anxiously, to GABRIEL] Don't bring it in like that! Go fetch + some jam to eat with it! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Didn't I tell you so? [To + LEBEDIEFF] I bet him driving over, that as soon as we arrived Zuzu would + want to feed us with jam! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Still joking, Count! [She sits down.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. She made twenty jars of it this year, and how else do you + expect her to get rid of it? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Sits down near the table] Are you still adding to the hoard, + Zuzu? You will soon have a million, eh? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Sighing] I know it seems as if no one could be richer than we, + but where do they think the money comes from? It is all gossip. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, we all know that! We know how badly you play your + cards! Tell me, Paul, honestly, have you saved up a million yet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I don't know. Ask Zuzu. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [To MARTHA] And my plump little Birdie here will soon have a + million too! She is getting prettier and plumper not only every day, but + every hour. That means she has a nice little fortune. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Thank you very much, your highness, but I don't like such jokes. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. My dear little gold mine, do you call that a joke? It was a + wail of the soul, a cry from the heart, that burst through my lips. My + love for you and Zuzu is immense. [Gaily] Oh, rapture! Oh, bliss! I + cannot look at you two without a madly beating heart! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. You are still the same, Count. [To GEORGE] Put out the candles + please, George. [GEORGE gives a start. He puts out the candles and sits + down again] How is your wife, Nicholas? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. She is very ill. The doctor said to-day that she certainly had + consumption. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Really? Oh, how sad! [She sighs] And we are all so fond of her! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What trash you all talk! That story was invented by that sham + doctor, and is nothing but a trick of his. He wants to masquerade as an + Aesculapius, and so has started this consumption theory. Fortunately her + husband isn't jealous. [IVANOFF makes an inpatient gesture] As for + Sarah, I wouldn't trust a word or an action of hers. I have made a point + all my life of mistrusting all doctors, lawyers, and women. They are + shammers and deceivers. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To SHABELSKI] You are an extraordinary person, Matthew! You + have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours, and you ride it through + thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man like any other, and yet, + from the way you talk one would imagine that you had the pip, or a cold + in the head. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and scoundrel + I meet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Of course I am not talking of any one here present, + nevertheless——- + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. There you are again with your "nevertheless." All this is + simply a fancy of yours. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. A fancy? It is lucky for you that you have no knowledge of + the world! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My knowledge of the world is this: I must sit here prepared + at any moment to have death come knocking at the door. That is my + knowledge of the world. At our age, brother, you and I can't afford to + worry about knowledge of the world. So then—[He calls] Oh, + Gabriel! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. You have had quite enough already. Look at your nose. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. No matter, old boy. I am not going to be married to-day. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time. He seems to + have forgotten us. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That man is one of my aversions. I can't stand his icy sense of + honour. He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a cigarette without + making a display of his remarkable honesty. Walking and talking, it is + written on his brow: "I am an honest man." He is a great bore. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. He is a narrow-minded, conceited medico. [Angrily] He shrieks + like a parrot at every step: "Make way for honest endeavour!" and thinks + himself another St. Francis. Everybody is a rascal who doesn't make as + much noise as he does. As for his penetration, it is simply remarkable! + If a peasant is well off and lives decently, he sees at once that he + must be a thief and a scoundrel. If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed + by my valet, I am a rascal and the valet is my slave. There is no place + in this world for a man like him. I am actually afraid of him. Yes, + indeed, he is likely, out of a sense of duty, to insult a man at any + moment and to call him a knave. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am dreadfully tired of him, but I can't help liking him, too, + he is so sincere. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, yes, his sincerity is beautiful! He came up to me + yesterday evening and remarked absolutely apropos of nothing: "Count, I + have a deep aversion to you!" It isn't as if he said such things simply, + but they are extremely pointed. His voice trembles, his eyes flash, his + veins swell. Confound his infernal honesty! Supposing I am disgusting + and odious to him? What is more natural? I know that I am, but I don't + like to be told so to my face. I am a worthless old man, but he might + have the decency to respect my grey hairs. Oh, what stupid, heartless + honesty! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, come, you have been young yourself, and should make + allowances for him. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Yes, I have been young and reckless; I have played the fool + in my day and have seen plenty of knaves and scamps, but I have never + called a thief a thief to his face, or talked of ropes in the house of a + man who had been hung. I knew how to behave, but this idiotic doctor of + yours would think himself in the seventh heaven of happiness if fate + would allow him to pull my nose in public in the name of morality and + human ideals. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Young men are all stubborn and restive. I had an uncle once + who thought himself a philosopher. He would fill his house with guests, + and after he had had a drink he would get up on a chair, like this, and + begin: "You ignoramuses! You powers of darkness! This is the dawn of a + new life!" And so on and so on; he would preach and preach—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. And the guests? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. They would just sit and listen and go on drinking. Once, + though, I challenged him to a duel, challenged my own uncle! It came out + of a discussion about Sir Francis Bacon. I was sitting, I remember, + where Matthew is, and my uncle and the late Gerasim Nilitch were + standing over there, about where Nicholas is now. Well, Gerasim Nilitch + propounded this question—— + </p> + <p> + Enter BORKIN. He is dressed like a dandy and carries a parcel under his + arm. He comes in singing and skipping through the door on the right. A + murmur of approval is heard. + </p> + <p> + THE GIRLS. Oh, Michael Borkin! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Misha! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. The soul of the company! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Here we are! [He runs up to SASHA] Most noble Signorina, let me + be so bold as to wish to the whole world many happy returns of the + birthday of such an exquisite flower as you! As a token of my enthusiasm + let me presume to present you with these fireworks and this Bengal fire + of my own manufacture. [He hands her the parcel] May they illuminate the + night as brightly as you illuminate the shadows of this dark world. [He + spreads them out theatrically before her.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Thank you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing loudly, to IVANOFF] Why don't you send this Judas + packing? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To LEBEDIEFF] My compliments to you, sir. [To IVANOFF] How are + you, my patron? [Sings] Nicholas voila, hey ho hey! [He greets everybody + in turn] Most highly honoured Zinaida! Oh, glorious Martha! Most ancient + Avdotia! Noblest of Counts! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing] The life of the company! The moment he comes in + the air fe els livelier. Have you noticed it? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Whew! I am tired! I believe I have shaken hands with everybody. + Well, ladies and gentlemen, haven't you some little tidbit to tell me; + something spicy? [Speaking quickly to ZINAIDA] Oh, aunty! I have + something to tell you. As I was on my way here—[To GABRIEL] Some + tea, please Gabriel, but without jam—as I was on my way here I saw + some peasants down on the river-bank pulling the bark off the trees. Why + don't you lease that meadow? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To IVANOFF] Why don't you send that Judas away? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. [Startled] Why, that is quite true! I never thought of it. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Swinging his arms] I can't sit still! What tricks shall we be + up to next, aunty? I am all on edge, Martha, absolutely exalted. [He + sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Once more I stand before thee!" +</pre> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Think of something to amuse us, Misha, we are all bored. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Yes, you look so. What is the matter with you all? Why are you + sitting there as solemn as a jury? Come, let us play something; what + shall it be? Forfeits? Hide-and-seek? Tag? Shall we dance, or have the + fireworks? + </p> + <p> + THE GIRLS. [Clapping their hands] The fireworks! The fireworks! [They + run into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [ To IVANOFF] What makes you so depressed today? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My head aches, little Sasha, and then I feel bored. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Come into the sitting-room with me. + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the right. All the guests go into the + garden and ZINAIDA and LEBEDIEFF are left alone. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. That is what I like to see! A young man like Misha comes into + the room and in a minute he has everybody laughing. [She puts out the + large lamp] There is no reason the candles should burn for nothing so + long as they are all in the garden. [She blows out the candles.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Following her] We really ought to give our guests something + to eat, Zuzu! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What crowds of candles; no wonder we are thought rich. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Still following her] Do let them have something to eat, + Zuzu; they are young and must be hungry by now, poor things—Zuzu! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. The Count did not finish his tea, and all that sugar has been + wasted. [Goes out through the door on the left.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Bah! [Goes out into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and SASHA through the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is how it is, Sasha: I used to work hard and think hard, + and never tire; now, I neither do anything nor think anything, and I am + weary, body and soul. I feel I am terribly to blame, my conscience + leaves me no peace day or night, and yet I can't see clearly exactly + what my mistakes are. And now comes my wife's illness, our poverty, this + eternal backbiting, gossiping, chattering, that foolish Borkin—My + home has become unendurable to me, and to live there is worse than + torture. Frankly, Sasha, the presence of my wife, who loves me, has + become unbearable. You are an old friend, little Sasha, you will not be + angry with me for speaking so openly. I came to you to be cheered, but I + am bored here too, something urges me home again. Forgive me, I shall + slip away at once. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I can understand your trouble, Nicholas. You are unhappy because + you are lonely. You need some one at your side whom you can love, + someone who understands you. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What an idea, Sasha! Fancy a crusty old badger like myself + starting a love affair! Heaven preserve me from such misfortune! No, my + little sage, this is not a case for romance. The fact is, I can endure + all I have to suffer: sadness, sickness of mind, ruin, the loss of my + wife, and my lonely, broken old age, but I cannot, I will not, endure + the contempt I have for myself! I am nearly killed by shame when I think + that a strong, healthy man like myself has become—oh, heaven only + knows what—by no means a Manfred or a Hamlet! There are some + unfortunates who feel flattered when people call them Hamlets and + cynics, but to me it is an insult. It wounds my pride and I am tortured + by shame and suffer agony. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Laughing through her tears] Nicholas, let us run away to America + together! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I haven't the energy to take such a step as that, and besides, + in America you—[They go toward the door into the garden] As a + matter of fact, Sasha, this is not a good place for you to live. When I + look about at the men who surround you I am terrified for you; whom is + there you could marry? Your only chance will be if some passing + lieutenant or student steals your heart and carries you away. + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA through the door on the right with a jar of jam. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Excuse me, Sasha, I shall join you in a minute. + </p> + <p> + SASHA goes out into the garden. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [To ZINAIDA] Zinaida, may I ask you a favour? + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. What is it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. The fact is, you know, that the interest on my note is due day + after to-morrow, but I should be more than obliged to you if you will + let me postpone the payment of it, or would let me add the interest to + the capital. I simply cannot pay it now; I haven't the money. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Oh, Ivanoff, how could I do such a thing? Would it be + business-like? No, no, don't ask it, don't torment an unfortunate old + woman. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I beg your pardon. [He goes out into the garden.] + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What a fright he gave me! I am trembling + all over. [Goes out through the door on the right.] + </p> + <p> + Enter KOSICH through the door on the left. He walks across the stage. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. I had the ace, king, queen, and eight of diamonds, the ace of + spades, and one, just one little heart, and she—may the foul fiend + fly away with her,—she couldn't make a little slam! + </p> + <p> + Goes out through the door on the right. Enter from the garden AVDOTIA + and FIRST GUEST. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her, the miserable + old miser! How I should like it! Does she think it a joke to leave us + sitting here since five o'clock without even offering us a crust to eat? + What a house! What management! + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I am so bored that I feel like beating my head against the + wall. Lord, what a queer lot of people! I shall soon be howling like a + wolf and snapping at them from hunger and weariness. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. How I should like to get my claws into her, the old sinner! + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. I shall get a drink, old lady, and then home I go! I won't + have anything to do with these belles of yours. How the devil can a man + think of love who hasn't had a drop to drink since dinner? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Come on, we will go and find something. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. Sh! Softly! I think the brandy is in the sideboard in the + dining-room. We will find George! Sh! + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the left. Enter ANNA and LVOFF through + the door on the right. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. No, they will be glad to see us. Is no one here? Then they must be + in the garden. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I should like to know why you have brought me into this den of + wolves. This is no place for you and me; honourable people should not be + subjected to such influences as these. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Listen to me, Mr. Honourable Man. When you are escorting a lady it + is very bad manners to talk to her the whole way about nothing but your + own honesty. Such behaviour may be perfectly honest, but it is also + tedious, to say the least. Never tell a woman how good you are; let her + find it out herself. My Nicholas used only to sing and tell stories when + he was young as you are, and yet every woman knew at once what kind of a + man he was. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Don't talk to me of your Nicholas; I know all about him! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You are a very worthy man, but you don't know anything at all. + Come into the garden. He never said: "I am an honest man; these + surroundings are too narrow for me." He never spoke of wolves' dens, + called people bears or vultures. He left the animal kingdom alone, and + the most I have ever heard him say when he was excited was: "Oh, how + unjust I have been to-day!" or "Annie, I am sorry for that man." That's + what he would say, but you— + </p> + <p> + ANNA and LVOFF go out. Enter AVDOTIA and FIRST GUEST through the door on + the left. + </p> + <p> + FIRST GUEST. There isn't any in the dining-room, so it must be somewhere + in the pantry. We must find George. Come this way, through the + sitting-room. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Oh, how I should like to get my claws into her! + </p> + <p> + They go out through the door on the right. MARTHA and BORKIN run in + laughing from the garden. SHABELSK I comes mincing behind them, laughing + and rubbing his hands. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Oh, I am so bored! [Laughs loudly] This is deadly! Every one + looks as if he had swallowed a poker. I am frozen to the marrow by this + icy dullness. [She skips about] Let us do something! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN catches her by the waist and kisses her cheek. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing and snapping his fingers] Well, I'll be hanged! + [Cackling] Really, you know! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Let go! Let go, you wretch! What will the Count think? Stop, I + say! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Angel! Jewel! Lend me twenty-three hundred roubles. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Most certainly not! Do what you please, but I'll thank you to + leave my money alone. No, no, no! Oh, let go, will you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Mincing around them] The little birdie has its charms! + [Seriously] Come, that will do! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Let us come to the point, and consider my proposition frankly as + a business arrangement. Answer me honestly, without tricks and + equivocations, do you agree to do it or not? Listen to me; [Pointing to + Shabelski] he needs money to the amount of at least three thousand a + year; you need a husband. Do you want to be a Countess? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Laughing loudly] Oh, the cynic! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Do you want to be a Countess or not? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Excitedly] Wait a minute; really, Misha, these things aren't + done in a second like this. If the Count wants to marry me, let him ask + me himself, and—and—I don't see, I don't understand—all + this is so sudden—— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Come, don't let us beat about the bush; this is a business + arrangement. Do you agree or not? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Chuckling and rubbing his hands] Supposing I do marry her, + eh? Hang it, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? What do you + say, little puss? [He kisses her cheek] Dearest chick-a-biddy! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Stop! Stop! I hardly know what I am doing. Go away! No—don't + go! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Answer at once: is it yes or no? We can't stand here forever. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Look here, Count, come and visit me for three or four days. It + is gay at my house, not like this place. Come to-morrow. [To BORKIN] Or + is this all a joke? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Angrily] How could I joke on such a serious subject? + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Wait! Stop! Oh, I feel faint! A Countess! I am fainting, I am + falling! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN and SHABELSKI laugh and catch her by the arms. They kiss her + cheeks and lead her out through the door on the right. IVANOFF and SASHA + run in from the garden. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Desperately clutching his head] It can't be true! Don't Sasha, + don't! Oh, I implore you not to! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I love you madly. Without you my life can have no meaning, no + happiness, no hope. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why, why do you say that? What do you mean? Little Sasha, don't + say it! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. You were the only joy of my childhood; I loved you body and soul + then, as myself, but now—Oh, I love you, Nicholas! Take me with + you to the ends of the earth, wherever you wish; but for heaven's sake + let us go at once, or I shall die. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Shaking with wild laughter] What is this? Is it the beginning + for me of a new life? Is it, Sasha? Oh, my happiness, my joy! [He draws + her to him] My freshness, my youth! + </p> + <p> + Enter ANNA from the garden. She sees her husband and SASHA, and stops as + if petrified. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Oh, then I shall live once more? And work? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF and SASHA kiss each other. After the kiss they look around and + see ANNA. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [With horror] Sarah! + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT III + </h2> + <p> + Library in IVANOFF'S house. On the walls hang maps, pictures, guns, + pistols, sickles, whips, etc. A writing-table. On it lie in disorder + knick-knacks, papers, books, parcels, and several revolvers. Near the + papers stand a lamp, a decanter of vodka, and a plate of salted + herrings. Pieces of bread and cucumber are scattered about. SHABELSKI + and LEBEDIEFF are sitting at the writing-table. BORKIN is sitting + astride a chair in the middle of the room. PETER is standing near the + door. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The policy of France is clear and definite; the French know + what they want: it is to skin those German sausages, but the Germans + must sing another song; France is not the only thorn in their flesh. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Nonsense! In my opinion the Germans are cowards and the + French are the same. They are showing their teeth at one another, but + you can take my word for it, they will not do more than that; they'll + never fight! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Why should they fight? Why all these congresses, this arming and + expense? Do you know what I would do in their place? I would catch all + the dogs in the kingdom and inoculate them with Pasteur's serum, then I + would let them loose in the enemy's country, and the enemies would all + go mad in a month. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Laughing] His head is small, but the great ideas are hidden + away in it like fish in the sea! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Oh, he is a genius. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Heaven help you, Misha, you are a funny chap. [He stops + laughing] But how is this, gentlemen? Here we are talking Germany, + Germany, and never a word about vodka! Repetatur! [He fills three + glasses] Here's to you all! [He drinks and eats] This herring is the + best of all relishes. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. No, no, these cucumbers are better; every wise man since the + creation of the world has been trying to invent something better than a + salted cucumber, and not one has succeeded. [To PETER] Peter, go and + fetch some more cucumbers. And Peter, tell the cook to make four little + onion pasties, and see that we get them hot. + </p> + <p> + PETER goes out. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Caviar is good with vodka, but it must be prepared with + skill. Take a quarter of a pound of pressed caviar, two little onions, + and a little olive oil; mix them together and put a slice of lemon on + top—so! Lord! The very perfume would drive you crazy! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Roast snipe are good too, but they must be cooked right. They + should first be cleaned, then sprinkled with bread crumbs, and roasted + until they will crackle between the teeth—crunch, crunch! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. We had something good at Martha's yesterday: white mushrooms. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You don't say so! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. And they were especially well prepared, too, with onions and + bay-leaves and spices, you know. When the dish was opened, the odour + that floated out was simply intoxicating! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What do you say, gentlemen? Repetatur! [He drinks] Good + health to you! [He looks at his watch] I must be going. I can't wait for + Nicholas. So you say Martha gave you mushrooms? We haven't seen one at + home. Will you please tell me, Count, what plot you are hatching that + takes you to Martha's so often? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Nodding at BORKIN] He wants me to marry her. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Wants you to marry her! How old are you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Sixty-two. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Really, you are just the age to marry, aren't you? And Martha + is just suited to you! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. This is not a question of Martha, but of Martha's money. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Aren't you moonstruck, and don't you want the moon too? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Borkin here is quite in earnest about it; the clever fellow + is sure I shall obey orders, and marry Martha. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. What do you mean? Aren't you sure yourself? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Are you mad? I never was sure of anything. Bah! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Many thanks! I am much obliged to you for the information. So + you are trying to fool me, are you? First you say you will marry Martha + and then you say you won't; the devil only knows which you really mean, + but I have given her my word of honour that you will. So you have + changed your mind, have you? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. He is actually in earnest; what an extraordinary man! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [losing his temper] If that is how you feel about it, why have + you turned an honest woman's head? Her heart is set on your title, and + she can neither eat nor sleep for thinking of it. How can you make a + jest of such things? Do you think such behaviour is honourable? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Snapping his fingers] Well, why not play her this shabby + trick, after all? Eh? Just out of spite? I shall certainly do it, upon + my word I shall! What a joke it will be! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. We bow before you, Aesculapius! [He shakes hands with LVOFF + and sings] + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + "Doctor, doctor, save, oh, save me, + I am scared to death of dying!" +</pre> + <p> + LVOFF. Hasn't Ivanoff come home yet? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Not yet. I have been waiting for him myself for over an hour. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF walks impatiently up and down. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. How is Anna to-day? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Very ill. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Sighing] May one go and pay one's respects to her? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. No, please don't. She is asleep, I believe. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. She is a lovely, charming woman. [Sighing] The day she + fainted at our house, on Sasha's birthday, I saw that she had not much + longer to live, poor thing. Let me see, why did she faint? When I ran + up, she was lying on the floor, ashy white, with Nicholas on his knees + beside her, and Sasha was standing by them in tears. Sasha and I went + about almost crazy for a week after that. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [To LVOFF] Tell me, most honoured disciple of science, what + scholar discovered that the frequent visits of a young doctor were + beneficial to ladies suffering from affections of the chest? It is a + remarkable discovery, remarkable! Would you call such treatment + Allopathic or Homeopathic? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF tries to answer, but makes an impatient gesture instead, and walks + out of the room. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. What a withering look he gave me! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Some fiend must prompt you to say such things! Why did you + offend him? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Angrily] Why does he tell such lies? Consumption! No hope! + She is dying! It is nonsense, I can't abide him! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What makes you think he is lying? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Gets up and walks up and down] I can't bear to think that a + living person could die like that, suddenly, without any reason at all. + Don't let us talk about it! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH runs in panting. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. Is Ivanoff at home? How do you do? [He shakes hands quickly all + round] Is he at home? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. No, he isn't. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Sits down and jumps up again] In that case I must say goodbye; + I must be going. Business, you know. I am absolutely exhausted; run off + my feet! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Where did you blow in from? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. From Barabanoff's. He and I have been playing cards all night; + we have only just stopped. I have been absolutely fleeced; that + Barabanoff is a demon at cards. [In a tearful voice] Just listen to + this: I had a heart and he [He turns to BORKIN, who jumps away from him] + led a diamond, and I led a heart, and he led another diamond. Well, he + didn't take the trick. [To LEBEDIEFF] We were playing three in clubs. I + had the ace and queen, and the ace and ten of spades— + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Stopping up his ears] Spare me, for heaven's sake, spare me! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [To SHABELSKI] Do you understand? I had the ace and queen of + clubs, the ace and ten of spades. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Pushes him away] Go away, I don't want to listen to you! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. When suddenly misfortune overtook me. My ace of spades took the + first trick— + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Snatching up a revolver] Leave the room, or I shall shoot! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Waving his hands] What does this mean? Is this the Australian + bush, where no one has any interests in common? Where there is no public + spirit, and each man lives for himself alone? However, I must be off. My + time is precious. [He shakes hands with LEBEDIEFF] Pass! + </p> + <p> + General laughter. KOSICH goes out. In the doorway he runs into AVDOTIA. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Shrieks] Bad luck to you, you nearly knocked me down. + </p> + <p> + ALL. Oh, she is always everywhere at once! + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. So this is where you all are? I have been looking for you all + over the house. Good-day to you, boys! + </p> + <p> + [She shakes hands with everybody.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What brings you here? + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. Business, my son. [To SHABELSKI] Business connected with your + highness. She commanded me to bow. [She bows] And to inquire after your + health. She told me to say, the little birdie, that if you did not come + to see her this evening she would cry her eyes out. Take him aside, she + said, and whisper in his ear. But why should I make a secret of her + message? We are not stealing chickens, but arranging an affair of lawful + love by mutual consent of both parties. And now, although I never drink, + I shall take a drop under these circumstances. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal, + you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty + years ago. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands, + and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a + dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have + begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily + ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to + them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they + actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul, + why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give + the devil something to do, eh, Paul? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our + thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our + day is over. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall! + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old + friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. + </p> + <p> + AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again, + have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so! + [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all over + my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is + disgusting! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have + something very important to speak to you about. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. So have I. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. May I have a word with you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute. + [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to + speak to him in private. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your + weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used + to drink at all; it is bad for him. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking + of him at all. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be + mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas—I really don't know how I can put + it to make it seem less brutal—Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I + am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put + yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty + in the hands of my wife, a slave—forgive me! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What does this mean? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to + me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has + been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake, + free yourself from her clutches! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You know, Paul, that I have no money now. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I know, I know, but what can I do? She won't wait. If she + should sue you for the money, how could Sasha and I ever look you in the + face again? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am ready to sink through the floor with shame, Paul, but + where, where shall I get the money? Tell me, where? There is nothing I + can do but to wait until I sell my wheat in the autumn. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Shrieks] But she won't wait! [A pause.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Your position is very delicate and unpleasant, but mine is even + worse. [He walks up and down in deep thought] I am at my wit's end, + there is nothing I can sell now. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. You might go to Mulbach and get some money from him; doesn't + he owe you sixty thousand roubles? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF makes a despairing gesture. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas, I know you will be angry, but you + must forgive an old drunkard like me. This is between friends; remember + I am your friend. We were students together, both Liberals; we had the + same interests and ideals; we studied together at the University of + Moscow. It is our Alma Mater. [He takes out his purse] I have a private + fund here; not a soul at home knows of its existence. Let me lend it to + you. [He takes out the money and lays it on the table] Forget your + pride; this is between friends! I should take it from you, indeed I + should! [A pause] There is the money, one hundred thousand roubles. Take + it; go to her y ourself and say: "Take the money, Zinaida, and may you + choke on it." Only, for heaven's sake, don't let her see by your manner + that you got it from me, or she would certainly go for me, with her old + jam! [He looks intently into IVANOFF'S face] There, there, no matter. + [He quickly takes up the money and stuffs it back into his pocket] Don't + take it, I was only joking. Forgive me! Are you hurt? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF waves his hand. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, the truth is—[He sighs] This is a time of sorrow + and pain for you. A man, brother, is like a samovar; he cannot always + stand coolly on a shelf; hot coals will be dropped into him some day, + and then—fizz! The comparison is idiotic, but it is the best I can + think of. [Sighing] Misfortunes wring the soul, and yet I am not worried + about you, brother. Wheat goes through the mill, and comes out as flour, + and you will come safely through your troubles; but I am annoyed, + Nicholas, and angry with the people around you. The whole countryside is + buzzing with gossip; where does it all start? They say you will be soon + arrested for your debts, that you are a bloodthirsty murderer, a monster + of cruelty, a robber. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. All that is nothing to me; my head is aching. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Because you think so much. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I never think. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Come, Nicholas, snap your fingers at the whole thing, and + drive over to visit us. Sasha loves and understands you. She is a sweet, + honest, lovely girl; too good to be the child of her mother and me! + Sometimes, when I look at her, I cannot believe that such a treasure + could belong to a fat old drunkard like me. Go to her, talk to her, and + let her cheer you. She is a good, true-hearted girl. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, my dear friend, please go, and leave me alone. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I understand, I understand! [He glances at his watch] Yes, I + understand. [He kisses IVANOFF] Good-bye, I must go to the blessing of + the school now. [He goes as far as the door, then stops] She is so + clever! Sasha and I were talking about gossiping yesterday, and she + flashed out this epigram: "Father," she said, "fire-flies shine at night + so that the night-birds may make them their prey, and good people are + made to be preyed upon by gossips and slanderers." What do you think of + that? She is a genius, another George Sand! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Stopping him as he goes out] Paul, what is the matter with me? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I have wanted to ask you that myself, but I must confess I + was ashamed to. I don't know, old chap. Sometimes I think your troubles + have been too heavy for you, and yet I know you are not the kind to give + in to them; you would not be overcome by misfortune. It must be + something else, Nicholas, but what it may be I can't imagine. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I can't imagine either what the matter is, unless—and yet + no—[A pause] Well, do you see, this is what I wanted to say. I + used to have a workman called Simon, you remember him. Once, at + threshing-time, to show the girls how strong he was, he loaded himself + with two sacks of rye, and broke his back. He died soon after. I think I + have broken my back also. First I went to school, then to the + university, then came the cares of this estate, all my plans—I did + not believe what others did; did not marry as others did; I worked + passionately, risked everything; no one else, as you know, threw their + money away to right and left as I did. So I heaped the burdens on my + back, and it broke. We are all heroes at twenty, ready to attack + anything, to do everything, and at thirty are worn-out, useless men. + How, oh, how do you account for this weariness? However, I may be quite + wrong; go away, Paul, I am boring you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I know what is the matter with you, old man: you got out of + bed on the wrong side this morning. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. That is stupid, Paul, and stale. Go away! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. It is stupid, certainly. I see that myself now. I am going at + once. [LEBEDIEFF goes out.] + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Alone] I am a worthless, miserable, useless man. Only a man + equally miserable and suffering, as Paul is, could love or esteem me + now. Good God! How I loathe myself! How bitterly I hate my voice, my + hands, my thoughts, these clothes, each step I take! How ridiculous it + is, how disgusting! Less than a year ago I was healthy and strong, full + of pride and energy and enthusiasm. I worked with these hands here, and + my words could move the dullest man to tears. I could weep with sorrow, + and grow indignant at the sight of wrong. I could feel the glow of + inspiration, and understand the beauty and romance of the silent nights + which I used to watch through from evening until dawn, sitting at my + worktable, and giving up my soul to dreams. I believed in a bright + future then, and looked into it as trustfully as a child looks into its + mother's eyes. And now, oh, it is terrible! I am tired and without hope; + I spend my days and nights in idleness; I have no control over my feet + or brain. My estate is ruined, my woods are falling under the blows of + the axe. [He weeps] My neglected land looks up at me as reproachfully as + an orphan. I expect nothing, am sorry for nothing; my whole soul + trembles at the thought of each new day. And what can I think of my + treatment of Sarah? I promised her love and happiness forever; I opened + her eyes to the promise of a future such as she had never even dreamed + of. She believed me, and though for five years I have seen her sinking + under the weight of her sacrifices to me, and losing her strength in her + struggles with her conscience, God knows she has never given me one + angry look, or uttered one word of reproach. What is the result? That I + don't love her! Why? Is it possible? Can it be true? I can't understand. + She is suffering; her days are numbered; yet I fly like a contemptible + coward from her white face, her sunken chest, her pleading eyes. Oh, I + am ashamed, ashamed! [A pause] Sasha, a young girl, is sorry for me in + my misery. She confesses to me that she loves me; me, almost an old man! + Whereupon I lose my head, and exalted as if by music, I yell: "Hurrah + for a new life and new happiness!" Next day I believe in this new life + and happiness as little as I believe in my happiness at home. What is + the matter with me? What is this pit I am wallowing in? What is the + cause of this weakness? What does this nervousness come from? If my sick + wife wounds my pride, if a servant makes a mistake, if my gun misses + fire, I lose my temper and get violent and altogether unlike myself. I + can't, I can't understand it; the easiest way out would be a bullet + through the head! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I must have an explanation with you, Ivanoff. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If we are going to have an explanation every day, doctor, we + shall neither of us have the strength to stand it. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Will you be good enough to hear me? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have heard all you have told me every day, and have failed to + discover yet what you want me to do. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I have always spoken plainly enough, and only an utterly + heartless and cruel man could fail to understand me. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I know that my wife is dying; I know that I have sinned + irreparably; I know that you are an honest man. What more can you tell + me? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. The sight of human cruelty maddens me. The woman is dying and she + has a mother and father whom she loves, and longs to see once more + before she dies. They know that she is dying and that she loves them + still, but with diabolical cruelty, as if to flaunt their religious + zeal, they refuse to see her and forgive her. You are the man for whom + she has sacrificed her home, her peace of mind, everything. Yet you + unblushingly go gadding to the Lebedieffs' every evening, for reasons + that are absolutely unmistakable! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Ah me, it is two weeks since I was there! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Not listening to him] To men like yourself one must speak + plainly, and if you don't want to hear what I have to say, you need not + listen. I always call a spade a spade; the truth is, you want her to die + so that the way may be cleared for your other schemes. Be it so; but + can't you wait? If, instead of crushing the life out of your wife by + your heartless egoism, you let her die naturally, do you think you would + lose Sasha and Sasha's money? Such an absolute Tartuffe as you are could + turn the girl's head and get her money a year from now as easily as you + can to-day. Why are you in such a hurry? Why do you want your wife to + die now, instead of in a month's time, or a year's? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This is torture! You are a very bad doctor if you think a man + can control himself forever. It is all I can do not to answer your + insults. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Look here, whom are you trying to deceive? Throw off this + disguise! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You who are so clever, you think that nothing in the world is + easier than to understand me, do you? I married Annie for her money, did + I? And when her parents wouldn't give it to me, I changed my plans, and + am now hustling her out of the world so that I may marry another woman, + who will bring me what I want? You think so, do you? Oh, how easy and + simple it all is! But you are mistaken, doctor; in each one of us there + are too many springs, too many wheels and cogs for us to judge each + other by first impressions or by two or three external indications. I + can not understand you, you cannot understand me, and neither of us can + understand himself. A man may be a splendid doctor, and at the same time + a very bad judge of human nature; you will admit that, unless you are + too self-confident. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Do you really think that your character is so mysterious, and + that I am too stupid to tell vice from virtue? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It is clear that we shall never agree, so let me beg you to + answer me now without any more preamble: exactly what do you want me to + do? [Angrily] What are you after anyway? And with whom have I the honour + of speaking? With my lawyer, or with my wife's doctor? + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. I am a doctor, and as such I demand that you change your conduct + toward your wife; it is killing her. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What shall I do? Tell me! If you understand me so much better + than I understand myself, for heaven's sake tell me exactly what to do! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. In the first place, don't be so unguarded in your behaviour. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Heaven help me, do you mean to say that you understand + yourself? [He drinks some water] Now go away; I am guilty a thousand + times over; I shall answer for my sins before God; but nothing has given + you the right to torture me daily as you do. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Who has given you the right to insult my sense of honour? You + have maddened and poisoned my soul. Before I came to this place I knew + that stupid, crazy, deluded people existed, but I never imagined that + any one could be so criminal as to turn his mind deliberately in the + direction of wickedness. I loved and esteemed humanity then, but since I + have known you— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have heard all that before. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. You have, have you? + </p> + <p> + He goes out, shrugging his shoulders. He sees SASHA, who comes in at + this moment dressed for riding. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Now, however, I hope that we can understand one another! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Startled] Oh, Sasha, is that you? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is I. How are you? You didn't expect me, did you? Why + haven't you been to see us? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sasha, this is really imprudent of you! Your coming will have a + terrible effect on my wife! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. She won't see me; I came in by the back entrance; I shall go in a + minute. I am so anxious about you. Tell me, are you well? Why haven't + you been to see us for such a long time? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. My wife is offended already, and almost dying, and now you come + here; Sasha, Sasha, this is thoughtless and unkind of you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. How could I help coming? It is two weeks since you were at our + house, and you have not answered my letters. I imagined you suffering + dreadfully, or ill, or dead. I have not slept for nights. I am going + now, but first tell me that you are well. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. No, I am not well. I am a torment to myself, and every one + torments me without end. I can't stand it! And now you come here. How + morbid and unnatural it all is, Sasha. I am terribly guilty. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What dreadful, pitiful speeches you make! So you are guilty, are + you? Tell me, then, what is it you have done? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF I don't know; I don't know! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That is no answer. Every sinner should know what he is guilty of. + Perhaps you have been forging money? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. That is stupid. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Or are you guilty because you no longer love your wife? Perhaps + you are, but no one is master of his feelings, and you did not mean to + stop loving her. Do you feel guilty because she saw me telling you that + I love you? No, that cannot be, because you did not want her to see it— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Interrupting her] And so on, and so on! First you say I love, + and then you say I don't; that I am not master of my feelings. All these + are commonplace, worn-out sentiments, with which you cannot help me. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. It is impossible to talk to you. [She looks at a picture on the + wall] How well those dogs are drawn! Were they done from life? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Yes, from life. And this whole romance of ours is a tedious old + story; a man loses heart and begins to go down in the world; a girl + appears, brave and strong of heart, and gives him a hand to help him to + rise again. Such situations are pretty, but they are only found in + novels and not in real life. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. No, they are found in real life too. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Now I see how well you understand real life! My sufferings seem + noble to you; you imagine you have discovered in me a second Hamlet; but + my state of mind in all its phases is only fit to furnish food for + contempt and derision. My contortions are ridiculous enough to make any + one die of laughter, and you want to play the guardian angel; you want + to do a noble deed and save me. Oh, how I hate myself to-day! I feel + that this tension must soon be relieved in some way. Either I shall + break something, or else— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. That is exactly what you need. Let yourself go! Smash something; + break it to pieces; give a yell! You are angry with me, it was foolish + of me to come here. Very well, then, get excited about it; storm at me; + stamp your feet! Well, aren't you getting angry? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You ridiculous girl! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Splendid! So we are smiling at last! Be kind, do me the favour of + smiling once more! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Laughing] I have noticed that whenever you start reforming me + and saving my soul, and teaching me how to be good, your face grows + naive, oh so naive, and your eyes grow as wide as if you were looking at + a comet. Wait a moment; your shoulder is covered with dust. [He brushes + her shoulder] A naive man is nothing better than a fool, but you women + contrive to be naive in such a way that in you it seems sweet, and + gentle, and proper, and not as silly as it really is. What a strange way + you have, though, of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy, and + fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go + down-hill! Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a strong + man than to nurse some whimpering invalid? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is worse. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why do you think so? [Laughing loudly] It is a good thing + Darwin can't hear what you are saying! He would be furious with you for + degrading the human race. Soon, thanks to your kindness, only invalids + and hypochondriacs will be born into the world. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. There are a great many things a man cannot understand. Any girl + would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one, because every + girl would like to do something by loving. A man has his work to do, and + so for him love is kept in the background. To talk to his wife, to walk + with her in the garden, to pass the time pleasantly with her, that is + all that love means to a man. But for us, love means life. I love you; + that means that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness, + how I shall go with you to the ends of the earth. If you are in heaven, + I am in heaven; if you are in the pit, I am in the pit. For instance, it + would be the greatest happiness for me to write all night for you, or to + watch all night that no one should wake you. I remember that three years + ago, at threshing time, you came to us all dusty and sunburnt and tired, + and asked for a drink. When I brought you a glass of water you were + already lying on the sofa and sleeping like a dead man. You slept there + for half a day, and all that time I watched by the door that no one + should disturb you. How happy I was! The more a girl can do, the greater + her love will be; that is, I mean, the more she feels it. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. The love that accomplishes things—hm—that is a + fairy tale, a girl's dream; and yet, perhaps it is as it should be. [He + shrugs his shoulders] How can I tell? [Gaily] On my honour, Sasha, I + really am quite a respectable man. Judge for yourself: I have always + liked to discuss things, but I have never in my life said that our women + were corrupt, or that such and such a woman was on the down-hill path. I + have always been grateful, and nothing more. No, nothing more. Dear + child, how comical you are! And what a ridiculous old stupid I am! I + shock all good Christian folk, and go about complaining from morning to + night. [He laughs and then leaves her suddenly] But you must go, Sasha; + we have forgotten ourselves. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Yes, it is time to go. Good-bye. I am afraid that that honest + doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty that I am + here. Take my advice: go at once to your wife and stay with her. Stay, + and stay, and stay, and if it should be for a year, you must still stay, + or for ten years. It is your duty. You must repent, and ask her + forgiveness, and weep. That is what you ought to do, and the great thing + is not to forget to do right. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Again I feel as if I were going crazy; again! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Well, heaven help you! You must forget me entirely. In two weeks + you must send me a line and I shall be content with that. But I shall + write to you— + </p> + <p> + BORKIN looks in at the door. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Ivanoff, may I come in? [He sees SASHA] I beg your pardon, I did + not see you. Bonjour! [He bows.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Embarrassed] How do you do? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. You are plumper and prettier than ever. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To IVANOFF] I must go, Nicholas, I must go. [She goes out.] + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. What a beautiful apparition! I came expecting prose and found + poetry instead. [Sings] + </p> + <p> + "You showed yourself to the world as a bird——" + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Sits down] There is something in her, Nicholas, that one + doesn't find in other women, isn't there? An elfin strangeness. [He + sighs] Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the country, + her mother is so stingy that no one will have her. After her mother's + death Sasha will have the whole fortune, but until then she will only + give her ten thousand roubles and an old flat-iron, and to get that she + will have to humble herself to the ground. [He feels in his pockets] + Will you have a smoke? [He offers IVANOFF his cigarette case] These are + very good. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage] Leave my house this + instant, and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again! Go this + instant! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Go at once! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. Nicholas, what do you mean? Why are you so angry? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Why! Where did you get those cigarettes? Where? You think + perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every day, and for + what purpose? + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [Shrugs his shoulders] What business is it of yours? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You blackguard, you! The disgraceful rumours that you have been + spreading about me have made me disreputable in the eyes of the whole + countryside. You and I have nothing in common, and I ask you to leave my + house this instant. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. I know that you are saying all this in a moment of irritation, + and so I am not angry with you. Insult me as much as you please. [He + picks up his cigarette] It is time though, to shake off this melancholy + of yours; you're not a schoolboy. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. What did I tell you? [Shuddering] Are you making fun of me? + </p> + <p> + Enter ANNA. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. There now, there comes Anna! I shall go. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [After a pause] What did she come here for? What did she come here + for, I ask you? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Don't ask me, Annie. [A pause] I am terribly guilty. Think of + any punishment you want to inflict on me; I can stand anything, but + don't, oh, don't ask questions! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Angrily] So that is the sort of man you are? Now I understand + you, and can see how degraded, how dishonourable you are! Do you + remember that you came to me once and lied to me about your love? I + believed you, and left my mother, my father, and my faith to follow you. + Yes, you lied to me of goodness and honour, of your noble aspirations + and I believed every word—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have never lied to you, Annie. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I have lived with you five years now, and I am tired and ill, but + I have always loved you and have never left you for a moment. You have + been my idol, and what have you done? All this time you have been + deceiving me in the most dastardly way—— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Annie, don't say what isn't so. I have made mistakes, but I + have never told a lie in my life. You dare not accuse me of that! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. It is all clear to me now. You married me because you expected my + mother and father to forgive me and give you my money; that is what you + expected. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Good Lord, Annie! If I must suffer like this, I must have the + patience to bear it. [He begins to weep.] + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Be quiet! When you found that I wasn't bringing you any money, you + tried another game. Now I remember and understand everything. [She + begins to cry] You have never loved me or been faithful to me—never! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sarah! That is a lie! Say what you want, but don't insult me + with a lie! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. You dishonest, degraded man! You owe money to Lebedieff, and now, + to escape paying your debts, you are trying to turn the head of his + daughter and betray her as you have betrayed me. Can you deny it? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Stifled with rage] For heaven's sake, be quiet! I can't answer + for what I may do! I am choking with rage and I—I might insult + you! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I am not the only one whom you have basely deceived. You have + always blamed Borkin for all your dishonest tricks, but now I know whose + they are. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Sarah, stop at once and go away, or else I shall say something + terrible. I long to say a dreadful, cruel thing [He shrieks] Hold your + tongue, Jewess! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. I won't hold my tongue! You have deceived me too long for me to be + silent now. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. So you won't be quiet? [He struggles with himself] Go, for + heaven's sake! + </p> + <p> + ANNA. Go now, and betray Sasha! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Know then that you—are dying! The doctor told me that you + are dying. + </p> + <p> + ANNA. [Sits down and speaks in a low voice] When did he + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Clutches his head with both hands] Oh, how guilty I am—how + guilty! [He sobs.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <p> + About a year passes between the third and fourth acts. + </p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ACT IV + </h2> + <p> + A sitting-room in LEBEDIEFF'S house. In the middle of the wall at the + back of the room is an arch dividing the sitting-room from the ballroom. + To the right and left are doors. Some old bronzes are placed about the + room; family portraits are hanging on the walls. Everything is arranged + as if for some festivity. On the piano lies a violin; near it stands a + violoncello. During the entire act guests, dressed as for a ball, are + seen walking about in the ball-room. + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF, looking at his watch. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. It is five o'clock. The ceremony must have begun. First the + priest will bless them, and then they will be led to the church to be + married. Is this how virtue and justice triumph? Not being able to rob + Sarah, he has tortured her to death; and now he has found another victim + whom he will deceive until he has robbed her, and then he will get rid + of her as he got rid of poor Sarah. It is the same old sordid story. [A + pause] He will live to a fine old age in the seventh heaven of + happiness, and will die with a clear conscience. No, Ivanoff, it shall + not be! I shall drag your villainy to light! And when I tear off that + accursed mask of yours and show you to the world as the blackguard you + are, you shall come plunging down headfirst from your seventh heaven, + into a pit so deep that the devil himself will not be able to drag you + out of it! I am a man of honour; it is my duty to interfere in such + cases as yours, and to open the eyes of the blind. I shall fulfil my + mission, and to-morrow will find me far away from this accursed place. + [Thoughtfully] But what shall I do? To have an explanation with + Lebedieff would be a hopeless task. Shall I make a scandal, and + challenge Ivanoff to a duel? I am as excited as a child, and have + entirely lost the power of planning anything. What shall I do? Shall I + fight a duel? + </p> + <p> + Enter KOSICH. He goes gaily up to LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. I declared a little slam in clubs yesterday, and made a grand + slam! Only that man Barabanoff spoilt the whole game for me again. We + were playing—well, I said "No trumps" and he said "Pass." "Two in + clubs," he passed again. I made it two in hearts. He said "Three in + clubs," and just imagine, can you, what happened? I declared a little + slam and he never showed his ace! If he had showed his ace, the villain, + I should have declared a grand slam in no trumps! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Excuse me, I don't play cards, and so it is impossible for me to + share your enthusiasm. When does the ceremony begin? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. At once, I think. They are now bringing Zuzu to herself again. + She is bellowing like a bull; she can't bear to see the money go. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. And what about the daughter? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. No, it is the money. She doesn't like this affair anyway. He is + marrying her daughter, and that means he won't pay his debts for a long + time. One can't sue one's son-in-law. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA, very much dressed up, struts across the stage past LVOFF and + KOSICH. The latter bursts out laughing behind his hand. MARTHA looks + around. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Idiot! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH digs her in the ribs and laughs loudly. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Boor! + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Laughing] The woman's head has been turned. Before she fixed + her eye on a title she was like any other woman, but there is no coming + near her now! [Angrily] A boor, indeed! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [Excitedly] Listen to me; tell me honestly, what do you think of + Ivanoff? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. He's no good at all. He plays cards like a lunatic. This is what + happened last year during Lent: I, the Count, Borkin and he, sat down to + a game of cards. I led a—— + </p> + <p> + LVOFF [Interrupting him] Is he a good man? + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. He? Yes, he's a good one! He and the Count are a pair of trumps. + They have keen noses for a good game. First, Ivanoff set his heart on + the Jewess, then, when his schemes failed in that quarter, he turned his + thoughts toward Zuzu's money-bags. I'll wager you he'll ruin Zuzu in a + year. He will ruin Zuzu, and the Count will ruin Martha. They will + gather up all the money they can lay hands on, and live happily ever + after! But, doctor, why are you so pale to-day? You look like a ghost. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Oh, it's nothing. I drank a little too much yesterday. + </p> + <p> + Enter LEBEDIEFF with SASHA. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. We can have our talk here. [To LVOFF and KOSICH] Go into the + ball-room, you two old fogies, and talk to the girls. Sasha and I want + to talk alone here. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH. [Snapping his fingers enthusiastically as he goes by SASHA] What + a picture! A queen of trumps! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Go along, you old cave-dweller; go along. + </p> + <p> + KOSICH and LVOFF go out. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Sit down, Sasha, there—[He sits down and looks about + him] Listen to me attentively and with proper respect. The fact is, your + mother has asked me to say this, do you understand? I am not speaking + for myself. Your mother told me to speak to you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Papa, do say it briefly! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. When you are married we mean to give you fifteen thousand + roubles. Please don't let us have any discussion about it afterward. + Wait, now! Be quiet! That is only the beginning. The best is yet to + come. We have allotted you fifteen thousand roubles, but in + consideration of the fact that Nicholas owes your mother nine thousand, + that sum will have to be deducted from the amount we mean to give you. + Very well. Now, beside that—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Why do you tell me all this? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Your mother told me to. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Leave me in peace! If you had any respect for yourself or me you + could not permit yourself to speak to me in this way. I don't want your + money! I have not asked for it, and never shall. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What are you attacking me for? The two rats in Gogol's fable + sniffed first and then ran away, but you attack without even sniffing. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Leave me in peace, and do not offend my ears with your two-penny + calculations. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Losing his temper] Bah! You all, every one of you, do all + you can to make me cut my throat or kill somebody. One of you screeches + and fusses all day and counts every penny, and the other is so clever + and humane and emancipated that she cannot understand her own father! I + offend your ears, do I? Don't you realise that before I came here to + offend your ears I was being torn to pieces over there, [He points to + the door] literally drawn and quartered? So you cannot understand? You + two have addled my brain till I am utterly at my wits' end; indeed I am! + [He goes toward the door, and stops] I don't like this business at all; + I don't like any thing about you— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What is it, especially, that you don't like? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Everything, everything! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What do you mean by everything? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Let me explain exactly what I mean. Everything displeases me. + As for your marriage, I simply can't abide it. [He goes up to SASHA and + speaks caressingly] Forgive me, little Sasha, this marriage may be a + wise one; it may be honest and not misguided, nevertheless, there is + something about the whole affair that is not right; no, not right! You + are not marrying as other girls do; you are young and fresh and pure as + a drop of water, and he is a widower, battered and worn. Heaven help + him. I don't understand him at all. [He kisses his daughter] Forgive me + for saying so, Sasha, but I am sure there is something crooked about + this affair; it is making a great deal of talk. It seems people are + saying that first Sarah died, and then suddenly Ivanoff wanted to marry + you. [Quickly] But, no, I am like an old woman; I am gossiping like a + magpie. You must not listen to me or any one, only to your own heart. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Papa, I feel myself that there is something wrong about my + marriage. Something wrong, yes, wrong! Oh, if you only knew how heavy my + heart is; this is unbearable! I am frightened and ashamed to confess + this; Papa darling, you must help me, for heaven's sake. Oh, can't you + tell me what I should do? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What is the matter, Sasha, what is it? + </p> + <p> + SASHA. I am so frightened, more frightened than I have ever been before. + [She glances around her] I cannot understand him now, and I never shall. + He has not smiled or looked straight into my eyes once since we have + been engaged. He is forever complaining and apologising for something; + hinting at some crime he is guilty of, and trembling. I am so tired! + There are even moments when I think—I think—that I do not + love him as I should, and when he comes to see us, or talks to me, I get + so tired! What does it mean, dear father? I am afraid. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. My darling, my only child, do as your old father advises you; + give him up! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Frightened] Oh! How can you say that? + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, do it, little Sasha! It will make a scandal, all the + tongues in the country will be wagging about it, but it is better to + live down a scandal than to ruin one's life. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Don't say that, father. Oh, don't. I refuse to listen! I must + crush such gloomy thoughts. He is good and unhappy and misunderstood. I + shall love him and learn to understand him. I shall set him on his feet + again. I shall do my duty. That is settled. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. This is not your duty, but a delusion— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. We have said enough. I have confessed things to you that I have + not dared to admit even to myself. Don't speak about this to any one. + Let us forget it. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am hopelessly puzzled, and either my mind is going from old + age or else you have all grown very clever, but I'll be hanged if I + understand this business at all. + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Confound you all and myself, too! This is maddening! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI Seriously, I must really do something horrid and rascally, so + that not only I but everybody else will be disgusted by it. I certainly + shall find something to do, upon my word I shall! I have already told + Borkin to announce that I am to be married. [He laughs] Everybody is a + scoundrel and I must be one too! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am tired of you, Matthew. Look here, man you talk in such a + way that, excuse my saying so, you will soon find yourself in a lunatic + asylum! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Could a lunatic asylum possibly be worse than this house, or + any othe r? Kindly take me there at once. Please do! Everybody is wicked + and futile and worthless and stupid; I am an object of disgust to + myself, I don't believe a word I say——- + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Let me give you a piece of advice, old man; fill your mouth + full of tow, light it, and blow at everybody. Or, better still, take + your hat and go home. This is a wedding, we all want to enjoy ourselves + and you are croaking like a raven. Yes, really. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI leans on the piano and begins to sob. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Good gracious, Matthew, Count! What is it, dear Matthew, old + friend? Have I offended you? There, forgive me; I didn't mean to hurt + you. Come, drink some water. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I don't want any water. [Raises his head.] + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What are you crying about? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Nothing in particular; I was just crying. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Matthew, tell me the truth, what is it? What has happened? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. I caught sight of that violoncello, and—and—I + remembered the Jewess. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What an unfortunate moment you have chosen to remember her. + Peace be with her! But don't think of her now. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. We used to play duets together. She was a beautiful, a + glorious woman. + </p> + <p> + SASHA sobs. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. What, are you crying too? Stop, Sasha! Dear me, they are both + howling now, and I—and I—Do go away; the guests will see + you! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Paul, when the sun is shining, it is gay even in a cemetery. + One can be cheerful even in old age if it is lighted by hope; but I have + nothing to hope for—not a thing! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Yes, it is rather sad for you. You have no children, no + money, no occupation. Well, but what is there to be done about it? [To + SASHA] What is the matter with you, Sasha? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Paul, give me some money. I will repay you in the next world. + I would go to Paris and see my wife's grave. I have given away a great + deal of money in my life, half my fortune indeed, and I have a right to + ask for some now. Besides, I am asking a friend. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. [Embarrassed] My dear boy, I haven't a penny. All right + though. That is to say, I can't promise anything, but you understand—very + well, very well. [Aside] This is agony! + </p> + <p> + Enter MARTHA. + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. Where is my partner? Count, how dare you leave me alone? You are + horrid! [She taps SHABELSKI on the arm with her fan] + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. [Impatiently] Leave me alone! I can't abide you! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Frightened] How? What? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Go away! + </p> + <p> + MARTHA. [Sinks into an arm-chair] Oh! Oh! Oh! [She bursts into tears.] + </p> + <p> + Enter ZINAIDA crying. + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. Some one has just arrived; it must be one of the ushers. It is + time for the ceremony to begin. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Imploringly] Mother! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Well, now you are all bawling. What a quartette! Come, come, + don't let us have any more of this dampness! Matthew! Martha! If you go + on like this, I—I—shall cry too. [Bursts into tears] + Heavens! + </p> + <p> + ZINAIDA. If you don't need your mother any more, if you are determined + not to obey her, I shall have to do as you want, and you have my + blessing. + </p> + <p> + Enter IVANOFF, dressed in a long coat, with gloves on. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF This is the finishing touch! What do you want? + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Why are you here? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I beg your pardon, you must allow me to speak to Sasha alone. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. The bridegroom must not come to see the bride before the + wedding. It is time for you to go to the church. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Paul, I implore you. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF shrugs his shoulders. LEBEDIEFF, ZINAIDA, SHABELSKI, and + MARTHA go out. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Sternly] What do you want? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am choking with anger; I cannot speak calmly. Listen to me; + as I was dressing just now for the wedding, I looked in the glass and + saw how grey my temples were. Sasha, this must not be! Let us end this + senseless comedy before it is too late. You are young and pure; you have + all your life before you, but I—— + </p> + <p> + SASHA. The same old story; I have heard it a thousand times and I am + tired of it. Go quickly to the church and don't keep everybody waiting! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I shall go straight home, and you must explain to your family + somehow that there is to be no wedding. Explain it as you please. It is + time we came to our senses. I have been playing the part of Hamlet and + you have been playing the part of a noble and devoted girl. We have kept + up the farce long enough. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Losing her temper] How can you speak to me like this? I won't + have it. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. But I am speaking, and will continue to speak. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What do you mean by coming to me like this? Your melancholy has + become absolutely ridiculous! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. No, this is not melancholy. It is ridiculous, is it? Yes, I am + laughing, and if it were possible for me to laugh at myself a thousand + times more bitterly I should do so and set the whole world laughing, + too, in derision. A fierce light has suddenly broken over my soul; as I + looked into the glass just now, I laughed at myself, and nearly went mad + with shame. [He laughs] Melancholy indeed! Noble grief! Uncontrollable + sorrow! It only remains for me now to begin to write verses! Shall I + mope and complain, sadden everybody I meet, confess that my manhood has + gone forever, that I have decayed, outlived my purpose, that I have + given myself up to cowardice and am bound hand and foot by this + loathsome melancholy? Shall I confess all this when the sun is shining + so brightly and when even the ants are carrying their little burdens in + peaceful self-content? No, thanks. Can I endure the knowledge that one + will look upon me as a fraud, while another pities me, a third lends me + a helping hand, or worst of all, a fourth listens reverently to my + sighs, looks upon me as a new Mahomet, and expects me to expound a new + religion every moment? No, thank God for the pride and conscience he has + left me still. On my way here I laughed at myself, and it seemed to me + that the flowers and birds were laughing mockingly too. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. This is not anger, but madness! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. You think so, do you? No, I am not mad. I see things in their + right light now, and my mind is as clear as your conscience. We love + each other, but we shall never be married. It makes no difference how I + rave and grow bitter by myself, but I have no right to drag another down + with me. My melancholy robbed my wife of the last year of her life. + Since you have been engaged to me you have forgotten how to laugh and + have aged five years. Your father, to whom life was always simple and + clear, thanks to me, is now unable to understand anybody. Wherever I go, + whether hunting or visiting, it makes no difference, I carry depression, + dulness, and discontent along with me. Wait! Don't interrupt me! I am + bitter and harsh, I know, but I am stifled with rage. I cannot speak + otherwise. I have never lied, and I never used to find fault with my + lot, but since I have begun to complain of everything, I find fault with + it involuntarily, and against my will. When I murmur at my fate every + one who hears me is seized with the same disgust of life and begins to + grumble too. And what a strange way I have of looking at things! Exactly + as if I were doing the world a favour by living in it. Oh, I am + contemptible. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Wait a moment. From what you have just said, it is obvious that + you are tired of your melancholy mood, and that the time has come for + you to begin life afresh. How splendid! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I don't see anything splendid about it. How can I lead a new + life? I am lost forever. It is time we both understood that. A new life + indeed! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Nicholas, come to your senses. How can you say you are lost? What + do you mean by such cynicism? No, I won't listen to you or talk with + you. Go to the church! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I am lost! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Don't talk so loud; our guests will hear you! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. If an intelligent, educated, and healthy man begins to complain + of his lot and go down-hill, there is nothing for him to do but to go on + down until he reaches the bottom—there is no hope for him. Where + could my salvation come from? How can I save myself? I cannot drink, + because it makes my head ache. I never could write bad poetry. I cannot + pray for strength and see anything lofty in the languor of my soul. + Laziness is laziness and weakness weakness. I can find no other names + for them. I am lost, I am lost; there is no doubt of that. [Looking + around] Some one might come in; listen, Sasha, if you love me you must + help me. Renounce me this minute; quickly! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. Oh, Nicholas! If you only knew how you are torturing me; what + agony I have to endure for your sake! Good thoughtful friend, judge for + yourself; can I possibly solve such a problem? Each day you put some + horrible problem before me, each one more difficult than the last. I + wanted to help you with my love, but this is martyrdom! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. And when you are my wife the problems will be harder than ever. + Understand this: it is not love that is urging you to take this step, + but the obstinacy of an honest nature. You have undertaken to reawaken + the man in me and to save me in the face of every difficulty, and you + are flattered by the hope of achieving your object. You are willing to + give up now, but you are prevented from doing it by a feeling that is a + false one. Understand yourself! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What strange, wild reasoning! How can I give you up now? How can + I? You have no mother, or sister, or friends. You are ruined; your + estate has been destroyed; every one is speaking ill of you— + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It was foolish of me to come here; I should have done as I + wanted to— + </p> + <p> + Enter LEBEDIEFF. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Running to her father] Father! He has rushed over here like a + madman, and is torturing me! He insists that I should refuse to marry + him; he says he doesn't want to drag me down with him. Tell him that I + won't accept his generosity. I know what I am doing! + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I can't understand a word of what you are saying. What + generosity? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. This marriage is not going to take place. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. It is going to take place. Papa, tell him that it is going to + take place. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Wait! Wait! What objection have you to the marriage? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have explained it all to her, but she refuses to understand + me. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Don't explain it to her, but to me, and explain it so that I + may understand. God forgive you, Nicholas, you have brought a great deal + of darkness into our lives. I feel as if I were living in a museum; I + look about me and don't understand anything I see. This is torture. What + on earth can an old man like me do with you? Shall I challenge you to a + duel? + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. There is no need of a duel. All you need is a head on your + shoulders and a knowledge of the Russian language. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Walks up and down in great excitement] This is dreadful, + dreadful! Absolutely childish. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. Listen to me, Nicholas; from your point of view what you are + doing is quite right and proper, according to the rules of psychology, + but I think this affair is a scandal and a great misfortune. I am an old + man; hear me out for the last time. This is what I want to say to you: + calm yourself; look at things simply, as every one else does; this is a + simple world. The ceiling is white; your boots are black; sugar is + sweet. You love Sasha and she loves you. If you love her, stay with her; + if you don't, leave her. We shan't blame you. It is all perfectly + simple. You are two healthy, intelligent, moral young people; thank God, + you both have food and clothing—what more do you want? What if you + have no money? That is no great misfortune—happiness is not bought + with wealth. Of course your estate is mortgaged, Nicholas, as I know, + and you have no money to pay the interest on the debt, but I am Sasha's + father. I understand. Her mother can do as she likes—if she won't + give any money, why, confound her, then she needn't, that's all! Sasha + has just said that she does not want her part of it. As for your + principles, Schopenhauer and all that, it is all folly. I have one + hundred thousand roubles in the bank. [Looking around him] Not a soul in + the house knows it; it was my grandmother's money. That shall be for you + both. Take it, give Matthew two thousand— + </p> + <p> + [The guests begin to collect in the ball-room]. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. It is no use discussing it any more, I must act as my + conscience bids me. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. And I shall act as my conscience bids me—you may say what + you please; I refuse to let you go! I am going to call my mother. + </p> + <p> + LEBEDIEFF. I am utterly puzzled. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain + myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal, + healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have + been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and + believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against + windmills with the strength of ten—not sparing my strength, not + knowing what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, + I worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I + have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much + to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought + with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have + submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind, + weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life, + I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or + what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false. I + see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem + insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a + cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever + and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned, + wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own + weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes + me! [He staggers] I am staggering—my strength is failing me. Where + is Matthew? Let him take me home. + </p> + <p> + [Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived! + </p> + <p> + Enter SHABELSKI. + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat—without gloves! How many + scornful glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! + Disgusting people. + </p> + <p> + Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a + dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole. + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been + waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking + philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go to + church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for + her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an + extraordinary man! + </p> + <p> + Enter LVOFF. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I + denounce you to the world as a scoundrel! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks! + </p> + <p> + BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel! + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with + you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive + satisfaction from me whenever he chooses! + </p> + <p> + SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg + you, let him tell me why he has insulted him. + </p> + <p> + LVOFF. Miss Sasha, I have not insulted him without cause. I came here as + a man of honour, to open your eyes, and I beg you to listen to what I + have to tell you. + </p> + <p> + SASHA. What can you possibly have to tell me? That you are a man of + honour? The whole world knows it. You had better tell me on your honour + whether you understand what you have done or not. You have come in here + as a man of honour and have insulted him so terribly that you have + nearly killed me. When you used to follow him like a shadow and almost + keep him from living, you were convinced that you were doing your duty + and that you were acting like a man of honour. When you interfered in + his private affairs, maligned him and criticised him; when you sent me + and whomever else you could, anonymous letters, you imagined yourself to + be an honourable man! And, thinking that that too was honourable, you, a + doctor, did not even spare his dying wife or give her a moment's peace + from your suspicions. And no matter what violence, what cruel wrong you + committed, you still imagined yourself to be an unusually honourable and + clear-sighted man. + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. [Laughing] This is not a wedding, but a parliament! Bravo! + Bravo! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [To LVOFF] Now, think it over! Do you see what sort of a man you + are, or not? Oh, the stupid, heartless people! [Takes IVANOFF by the + hand] Come away from here Nicholas! Come, father, let us go! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Where shall we go? Wait a moment. I shall soon put an end to + the whole thing. My youth is awake in me again; the former Ivanoff is + here once more. + </p> + <p> + [He takes out a revolver.] + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Shrieking] I know what he wants to do! Nicholas, for God's sake! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. I have been slipping down-hill long enough. Now, halt! It is + time to know what honour is. Out of the way! Thank you, Sasha! + </p> + <p> + SASHA. [Shrieking] Nicholas! For God's sake hold him! + </p> + <p> + IVANOFF. Let go! [He rushes aside, and shoots himself.] + </p> + <p> + The curtain falls. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ivanoff, by Anton Checkov + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IVANOFF *** + +***** This file should be named 1755-h.htm or 1755-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/1/7/5/1755/ + +Produced by An Anonymous Volunteer, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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