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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Irish Wonders by D. R. McAnally, Jr.
+
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no
+restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under
+the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or
+online at http://www.gutenberg.org/license
+
+
+
+Title: Irish Wonders
+
+Author: D. R. McAnally, Jr.
+
+Release Date: October 7, 2006 [Ebook #19486]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO 8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IRISH WONDERS***
+
+
+
+
+
+          [Illustration: "GOD SAVE YER HOLINESS." Frontispiece.]
+
+                  "GOD SAVE YER HOLINESS." Frontispiece.
+
+
+
+
+
+Irish Wonders
+
+
+by D. R. McAnally, Jr.
+
+
+
+
+Edition 1, (October 7, 2006)
+
+
+
+
+
+THE GHOSTS, GIANTS, POOKAS, DEMONS, LEPRECHAWNS, BANSHEES, FAIRIES,
+WITCHES, WIDOWS, OLD MAIDS, AND OTHER MARVELS OF THE EMERALD ISLE
+
+Popular Tales as told by the People
+
+WEATHERVANE BOOKS - NEW YORK
+
+                              [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+Copyright © MDCCCLXXXVIII
+
+Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 77-72113
+
+All rights reserved.
+
+This edition is published by Weathervane Books
+
+a division of Imprint Society, Inc., distributed by Crown Publishers, Inc.
+
+a b c d e f g h
+
+
+
+
+
+                    IN MEMORY OF YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP,
+
+                               This Volume
+
+                             IS INSCRIBED TO
+
+                         MR. JOSEPH B. McCULLAGH,
+
+                          AS A MODEST TRIBUTE OF
+
+                            PERSONAL RESPECT.
+
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+
+The wonderful imaginative power of the Celtic mind is never more
+strikingly displayed than in the legends and fanciful tales which people
+of the humbler walks of life seldom tire of telling. Go where you will in
+Ireland, the story-teller is there, and on slight provocation will repeat
+his narrative; amplifying, explaining, embellishing, till from a single
+fact a connected history is evolved, giving motives, particulars, action,
+and result, the whole surrounded by a rosy wealth of rustic imagery and
+told with dramatic force an actor might envy. The following chapters
+comprise an effort to present this phase of unwritten Celtic literature,
+the material having been collected during a recent lengthy visit, in the
+course of which every county in the island was traversed from end to end,
+and constant association had with the peasant tenantry. As, however, in
+perusing a drama each reader for himself supplies stage-action, so, in the
+following pages, he is requested to imagine the charms of gesticulation
+and intonation, for no pen can do justice to a story told by Irish lips
+amid Irish surroundings.
+
+
+
+
+
+                [Illustration: "She 'll get all me Turf"]
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+PREFACE.
+THE SEVEN KINGS OF ATHENRY.
+TAMING THE POOKA.
+THE SEXTON OF CASHEL.
+SATAN'S CLOVEN HOOF.
+THE ENCHANTED ISLAND.
+HOW THE LAKES WERE MADE.
+ABOUT THE FAIRIES.
+THE BANSHEE.
+THE ROUND TOWERS.
+THE POLICE.
+THE LEPRECHAWN.
+THE HENPECKED GIANT.
+SATAN AS A SCULPTOR.
+THE DEFEAT OF THE WIDOWS.
+
+
+
+
+
+                 [Illustration: "Divil roast ye wid it"]
+
+
+
+
+
+              [Illustration: "Is it spilin' me wall he is?"]
+
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+"GOD SAVE YER HOLINESS." Frontispiece.
+Vignette
+"She 'll get all me Turf"
+"Divil roast ye wid it"
+"Is it spilin' me wall he is?"
+"Howld on, we 'll argy the matther"
+Initial: "The Seven Kinds of Athenry"
+A Modern Irish Village
+"All a-makin' love to the Young Princess"
+"DIVIL A WAN O' ME KNOWS," SAYS HE.
+"The Princess had disayved thim all complately"
+"All disconsarted entirely"
+Initial: "Taming the Pooka"
+Dennis and the Pooka
+"He'd a sight of larnin', had the King"
+"The Quane a-gosterin'"
+"IF IT'S AGGRAYBLE TO YE, I'LL LOOK IN YER MOUTH."
+The Pooka Spirits
+Initial: "The Sexton of Casbel"
+THE ROCK OF CASHEL.
+"Be aff wid yer nonsinse"
+"Where is me dawther?"
+"The Owld Man walkin' in Cormae's Chapel"
+Initial: "Satan's Cloven Hoof"
+Glendalough
+Saint Kevin and the Devil
+"An' so he's lame, an' must show his cloven fut"
+Initial: "The Enchanted Island"
+"Howld yer pace, ye palaverin' shtrap"
+"Howlin' wid rage"
+Initial: "How the Lakes were made"
+Lough Conn
+The Church by the Bog
+Initial: "About the Fairies"
+"Owld Meg"
+Eva calling the Cattle
+Initial: "The Banshee"
+The "Hateful Banshee"
+The "Friendly Banshee"
+Initial: "The Round Towers"
+"Crackin' their Haythen Shkulls"
+Initial: "The Police"
+The Police and the Tenants
+"Thither goes the poor old women every day"
+Initial: "The Leprechawn"
+Returning the next morning with the spade
+"Playing his pranks"
+Initial: "The Henpecked Giant"
+"AN' WHO ARE YOU, ME DEAR?" SAYS FINN, LOOKIN' UP.
+Illustration: Music: When I Was Single.
+"Finn gave in an' wint to work wid a pick an' sphade"
+Initial: "Satan as a Sculptor"
+A Barren Cliff
+THE DEVIL'S FACE.
+"Her masther stood be her side"
+"So the three av thim mounted the wan horse"
+"'Kape from me,' says the divil"
+Initial: "The Defeat of the Widows"
+AN' PHAT DOES THIM LETTERS SHPELL?
+The Widdy Mulligan
+The Widdy O'Donnell
+Missis McMurthry
+"OULD ROONEY AN' PADDY BLAGGARDIN' THE CONSTHABLE IVERY FUT O' THE WAY."
+"A good bargain they made av it"
+
+
+
+
+
+           [Illustration: "Howld on, we 'll argy the matther"]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+IRISH WONDERS
+
+
+
+
+
+IRISH WONDERS.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE SEVEN KINGS OF ATHENRY.
+
+
+        [Illustration: Initial: "The Seven Kinds of Athenry"]
+
+It was a characteristic Irish ruin. Standing on a slight elevation, in the
+midst of a flat country, the castle lifted its turreted walls as proudly
+as when its ramparts were fringed with banners and glittered with helmets
+and shields. In olden times it was the citadel of the town, and although
+Athenry was fortified by a strong wall, protecting it alike from predatory
+assault and organized attack, the citadel, occupying the highest ground
+within the city, was itself surrounded by stronger walls, a fort within a
+fort, making assurance of security doubly sure. Only by treachery,
+surprise, or regular and long-continued siege could the castle have been
+taken.
+
+The central portion was a large, square structure; except in size, not
+differing greatly from the isolated castles found in all parts of Ireland,
+and always in pairs, as if, when one Irish chieftain built a castle, his
+rival at once erected another a mile or so away, for the purpose of
+holding him in check. This central fort was connected by double walls, the
+remains of covered passages, with smaller fortresses, little castles built
+into the wall surrounding the citadel; and over these connecting walls,
+over the little castles, and over the piles of loose stones where once the
+strong outer walls had stood, the ivy grew in luxuriant profusion,
+throwing its dark green curtain on the unsightly masses, rounding the
+sharp edge of the masonry, hiding the rough corners as though ashamed of
+their roughness, and climbing the battlements of the central castle to
+spread nature's mantle of charity over the remains of a barbarous age, and
+forever conceal from human view the stony reminders of battle and blood.
+
+The success of the ivy was not complete. Here and there the corner of a
+battlement stood out in sharp relief, as though it had pushed back the
+struggling plant, and, by main force, had risen above the leaves, while on
+one side a round tower lifted itself as if to show that a stone tower
+could stand for six hundred years without permitting itself to become
+ivy-grown; that there could be individuality in towers as among men. The
+great arched gateway too was not entirely subjugated, though the climbing
+tendrils and velvety leaves dressed the pillars and encroached on the
+arch. The keystone bore a rudely carved, crowned head, and ivy vines,
+coming up underneath the arch, to take the old king by surprise, climbed
+the bearded chin, crossed the lips, and were playing before the nose as if
+to give it a sportive tweak, while the stern brow frowned in anger at the
+plant's presumption.
+
+But only a few surly crags of the citadel refused to go gracefully into
+the retirement furnished by the ivy, and the loving plant softened every
+outline, filled up every crevice, bridged the gaps in the walls, toned
+down the rudeness of projecting stones, and did everything that an
+ivy-plant could do to make the rugged old castle as presentable as were
+the high rounded mounds without the city, cast up by the besiegers when
+the enemy last encamped against it.
+
+                  [Illustration: A Modern Irish Village]
+
+The old castle had fallen on evil days, for around the walls of the
+citadel clustered the miserable huts of the modern Irish village. The
+imposing castle gate faced a lane, muddy and foul with the refuse thrown
+from the houses. The ivy-mantled towers looked down upon earth and stone
+huts, with thatched roofs, low chimneys, and doors seeming as if the
+builder designed them for windows and changed his mind without altering
+their size, but simply continued them to the ground and made them answer
+the purpose. A population, notable chiefly for its numerousness and lack
+of cleanliness, presented itself at every door, but little merriment was
+heard in the alleys of Athenry.
+
+"Sure it's mighty little they have to laugh at," said the car-man.
+"Indade, the times has changed fur the counthry, Sorr. Wanst Ireland was
+as full o' payple as a Dublin sthrate, an' they was all as happy as a
+grazin' colt, an' as paceful as a basket av puppies, barrin' a bit o' fun
+at a marryin' or a wake, but thim times is all gone. Wid the landlords,
+an' the guver'mint, an' the sojers, an' the polis, lettin' in the rich an'
+turnin' out the poor, Irishmin is shtarvin' to death. See that bit av a
+cabin there, Sorr? Sure there's foorteen o' thim in it, an' two pigs, an'
+tin fowls; they all shlape togather on a pile av wet shtraw in the corner,
+an' sorra a wan o' thim knows where the bit in the mornin' is to come
+from. Phat do they ate? They're not in the laste purtickler. Spakin'
+ginerally, whatever they can get. They've pitaties an' milk, an' sometimes
+pitaties an' no milk, an' av a Sunday a bit o' mate that's a herrin', an'
+not a boot to the fut o' thim, an' they paddlin' in the wather on the
+flure. Sure the town's full o' thim an' the likes av thim. Begorra, the
+times has changed since the siven Kings held coort in the castle beyant
+yon.
+
+"Niver heard o' the Siven Kings av Athenroy? Why ivery babby knows the
+whole shtory be heart, an' all about thim. Faith I'll tell it, fur it's
+not desayvin' ye I am, fur the ould castle was wan o' the greatest places
+in the counthry.
+
+"Wanst upon a time, there was an ould King in Athenroy, that, be all
+accounts, was the besht ould King that iver set fut upon a throne. He was
+a tall ould King, an' the hairs av him an' the beard av him was as white
+as a shnow-flake, an' he had a long, grane dressin' gown, wid shamrocks av
+goold all over it, an' a goold crown as high as a gintleman's hat, wid a
+dimund as big as yer fisht on the front av it, an' silver shlippers on the
+feet av him. An' he had grane cârpets on the groun' in the hall o' the
+ould castle, an' begob, they do say that everything about the coort was
+goold, but av that I'm not rightly sartain, barrin' the pipe. That was av
+goold, bekase there's a picture av him hangin' in Michael Flaherty's
+shebeen, an' the pipe is just the look av goold an' so it must have been.
+
+"An' he was the besht King in Ireland, an' sorra a beggar 'ud come an the
+dure, but the King 'ud come out in his gown an' shlippers an' ax him how
+he come to be poor, an' sind him 'round to the kitchen to be warrumed wid
+a dhrop av whishkey an' fed wid all the cold pitaties that was in the
+panthry. All the people riz up whin he was a-walkin' down the shtrate wid
+a big goold-top shtick in his hand, an' the crown a-shinin' on his head,
+an' they said, 'God save yer Holiness,' an' he said, 'God save ye kindly,'
+mighty perlite, bekase he was a dacent mannered ould King, an' 'ud shpake
+to a poor divil that hadn't a coat on his back as quick as to wan av his
+ginerals wid a goold watch an' a shiny hat. An' whin he wint into a shop,
+sure they niver axed him to show the color av his money at all, but the
+man 'ud say, 'God save ye! Sure ye can pay whin ye plaze, an' I'll sind it
+be the postman whin he goes by.' An' the ould King 'ud say, 'Oh, I wont
+throuble ye. Bedad, I'll carry it,' an' aff the blessed ould King 'ud go,
+wid his bundles undher his arm, an' the crown on his head, as happy as a
+widdy wid a new husband.
+
+"An' there was six other ould Kings, that was frinds to him, an' they was
+all as like him as six paze. Foor times a year they'd all come to Athenroy
+fur a bit av a shpree like, bekase the King av Athenroy was the ouldest av
+thim, an' they thought the worruld an' all av him. Faix, it was mighty
+improvin' to see thim all a-goin' to chapel in the mornin', an' singin'
+an' drinkin' an' playin' whisht in the avenin'. Sure thim was the blessed
+days fur the counthry.
+
+"Well me dear, in coorse av time, the six ould Kings all died, God rest
+their sowls, but as aitch wan had a son to come afther him, the differ was
+mighty shmall, for the young Kings was dacent shpoken lads an' kept on
+comin' to Athenroy just like the ould Kings.
+
+"Oh, bedad, I forgot to tell yez that the ould King had a dawther, that
+was the light av his eyes. She was as tall as a sargent an' as shtrate as
+a gun, an' her eyes was as blue as the shky an' shone like the shtars. An'
+her hairs was t'reads av goold, an' she was the beautifulest woman iver
+seen in Athenroy. An' shmall love there was for her, fur she was as cowld
+as a wet Christmas. She didn't shpake often, bekase she wasn't wan o' thim
+that 'ud deefen a smith, but whin she did, the tongue that was in the head
+av her was like a sting-nettle, an' 'ud lash around like a throut on land.
+An' ivery woman in the shtrate watched her like kites whin she set fut out
+o' the dure, bekase she dressed as fine as a fiddle, wid a grane silk
+gown, an' a blue bonnet wid yellow ribbins, an' a shtring av goold baids
+the size av plums 'round her neck.
+
+"Musha, thin, it's a quare thing entirely, that min like wan woman betther
+than another. Begob, it's my belafe, savin' yer prisence, that there's not
+the differ av a cowld pitaty bechune thim all whin it's a queshtion av
+marryin' wan o' thim, an' if the whole worruld knewn that same, its few
+hurted heads there'd be along o' the wimmin. Well, it was the divil's own
+job, axin' yer pardon, but ivery wan o' thim young Kings tuk into his head
+to fall in love wid the Princess Bridget, fur that was her name, an' a
+good name it is; an' wan afther another, they'd shlip in whin they'd be
+passin', to pay their respicts. Whin wan o' thim found out that another
+wan was comin', he'd come the aftener himself to make up fur it, an'
+afther a while, they all found out aitch other, an' thin, begob all o'
+thim come to be beforehand wid the rest, an' from foor times in the year,
+it was foor times in the week that the gang o' them 'ud be settin' in the
+kitchen till the cock 'ud crow, all a-makin' love to the young Princess.
+
+        [Illustration: "All a-makin' love to the Young Princess"]
+
+"An' a fine sight it was to see thim, bekase they was all shtrivin' to do
+somethin' for her. Whin she paled the pitaties fur the ould King's
+brekquest, sure wan o' thim 'ud be givin' her the pitaties, another wan
+'ud catch the palin' an' the rest lookin' on wid the invy shinin' out o'
+their faces. Whin she dropped the thimble, you'd think the last wan 'ud
+jump out av his shkin to get it, an' whin she wint to milk the cow, wan
+'ud carry the pail, another wan 'ud fetch the shtool, an' two 'ud feed the
+cow, an' two other wans 'ud hold the calf, an' aitch wan 'ud bless God
+whin she gev him the laste shmile, bekase she was so cowld, d' ye mind,
+that divil a wan o' thim all cud say that he'd get her at all.
+
+"So at firsht, ould King Dennis, that bein' his name, was mighty plazed to
+see the young chaps all afther his dawther, an' whin he knewn they was in
+the kitchen, he'd shmoke his pipe an' have his sup be himself in the other
+room so as to lave thim; an' whin he saw thim hangin' over the wall o' the
+gârden beyant, or peepin' through the hedge, he'd let on not to parsave
+thim; an' whin they folly'd the Princess to church, he was as proud as a
+paycock to see thim settin' behind her wid their crowns in a row undher
+the sate. But whin they kept an a-comin' ivery night in the week an'
+drinkin' his whishkey an' shmokin' his besht terbakky,--more-betoken, whin
+they begun' to be oncivil to aitch other, says he to himself, says he,
+'Bedad,' says he, 'there'll be throuble if it kapes on thish-a-way. Sure
+I'll shpake to the gurrul.'
+
+"So he called to the Princess, 'Biddy,' says he.
+
+"'What, Father?' says she.
+
+"'Come here to me,' says he.
+
+"'Sure how can I? I'm busy,' says she.
+
+"'Phat's that you're at?' says he.
+
+"'I'm afther shwapin' the kitchen,' says she.
+
+"'Lave aff,' says he. 'Come to me at wanst,' says he.
+
+"The ould King was very starn, bekase he knewn it was only an axcuse she
+was afther makin,' an' she was lookin' that he'd be sayin' somethin' about
+the young Kings an' was afther dodgin' as long as she cud. So whin he
+shpoke so crass, she riz up aff the sate, for it was a fib she was
+tellin', an' she didn't shwape the kitchen at all, an' that was done be
+wan av the maids, an' gev a sigh, an' wint in the ould King's room.
+
+"An' there was the ould King on his throne, his crown on his head,
+shmokin' his goolden dhudeen wid a glass o' grog at his side, as
+detarmined as he cud be. 'I'm wantin' to know,' says he, 'phat you're
+afther goin' to do,' says he, 'in regârds av the young Kings,' says he.
+
+"'Phat's that you're sayin', Father?' says she, mighty shly, as lettin' on
+not to see phat he was drivin' at. The ould King repated his statemint.
+
+"'Troth, then, I dunno, Father,' says she.
+
+"'Do you mane to marry thim, at all, at all?' says he.
+
+"'Not all o' thim,' says she, shmilin'.
+
+"'Well, which wan o' thim?' says he.
+
+"'How can I tell?' says she.
+
+"'Has any o' thim axed ye?' says he.
+
+"'Hasn't they all?' says she.
+
+"'An' which wan do ye love besht?' says he.
+
+"'Sure how do I know?' says she, an' sorra a word more cud he get from her
+be all the queshtions he cud ax.
+
+"But he tuk a dale av bother an' thin gev it up an' says to her, 'Go an'
+get the supper,' says he, 'come in the throne-room afther brekquest wid
+yer mind made.' But he was afeard she'd give him throuble fur it was the
+cool face she had, an' afther she was gone he set his crown over wan ear
+an' scrotched his head like a tinant on quarther day widout a pinny in his
+pocket, bekase he knewn that whoever the gurrul tuk, the other five Kings
+cud make throuble.
+
+"So the next mornin', the Princess towld him phat she'd do, an' whin the
+Kings come that night, he walks into the kitchen where they were shmokin',
+an' makin' a low bow, he says, 'God save ye,' an' they all riz an' says,
+'God save yer Holiness.' So he says, 'Bridget, go to bed immejitly, I'll
+shpake to the jintlemin.' An' she wint away, lettin' an to shmile an'
+consale her face, 't was the divil av a sharp gurrul she was, an' the ould
+King set on the table an' towld thim phat she'd do. He towld thim they
+must play fair, an' they said they would, an' thin he towld thim the
+Princess wanted to see which was the besht man, so they must have shports
+in her prisence, an' the next day afther the shports they'd find out who
+she was goin' to marry. So they all aggrade, an' wint home at wanst to get
+ready fur the shports.
+
+"Faith, it 'ud 'uv done the sowl av ye good the next day to see the whole
+av Ireland at the shports whin the contist bechune the Kings kem.
+
+"'T was held in the field beyant, an' they made a ring an' the six young
+Kings run races an' rassled an' played all the axcitin' games that was
+iver knewn, aitch wid wan eye on the shports an' the other on the
+Princess, that was shmilin' an thim all an' lookin' as plazed as a new
+Mimber o' Parlaymint, an' so did they all, bekase, d' ye see, before the
+shports begun, they was brought, wan at a time, in the coort, an' the
+Princess talked wid aitch be himself, wasn't it the shly purtinder that
+she was, fur whin they kem out, every wan was shmilin' to himself, as fur
+to say he had a very agrayble saycret.
+
+"So the shports was ended an' everybody wint home, barrin' thim as
+shtopped at the shebeens. But sorra a wink o' shlape crassed the eyes av
+wan o' the young Kings, fur the joy that was in the heart o' thim, bekase
+aitch knewn he'd get the Princess.
+
+"Whin the mornin' come, the like o' the flusthration that was in Athenroy
+was niver seen afore, nor sense aither, fur [Illustration: "DIVIL A WAN O'
+                           ME KNOWS," SAYS HE.]
+
+                   "DIVIL A WAN O' ME KNOWS," SAYS HE.
+
+
+whin the maid wint to call the Princess, sure she wasn't there. So they
+sarched the coort from the garret to the cellar an' peeped in the well an'
+found she was nowhere entirely.
+
+"So they towld the ould King, an' says he, 'Baithershin, where is she at
+all,' says he, 'an' phat'ull I be sayin' to the young Kings whin they
+come.' An' there he was, a-tarin' the long white hair av him, whin the
+young Kings all come.
+
+"'God save yer Holiness,' says they to him.
+
+"'God save ye kindly,' says he, fur wid all the sorra that was in him,
+sure he didn't forgit to be perlite, bekase he was as cunnin' as a fox,
+an' knewn he'd nade all his good manners to make aminds fur his dawther's
+absince. So, says he, 'God save ye kindly,' says he, bowin'.
+
+"'An' where is the Princess?' says they.
+
+"'Divil a wan o' me knows,' says he.
+
+"'Sure it's jokin' wid us ye are,' says the Kings.
+
+"'Faix, I'm not,' says the ould King. 'Bad cess to the thrace av her was
+seen sense she went to bed.'
+
+"'Sure she didn't go to bed entirely,' says the maid, 'the bed wasn't
+touched, an' her besht gown's gone.'
+
+"'An' where has she gone?' says the Kings.
+
+"'Tare an' 'ounds,' says the ould King, 'am n't I ignerant entirely? Och,
+Biddy, Biddy, how cud ye sarve me so?' a-wringing his hands wid the graif.
+
+"Well, at firsht the Kings looked at aitch other as if the eyes 'ud lave
+thim, bein' all dazed like an' sarcumvinted intirely. An' thin they got
+their wits about thim, an' begun to be angry.
+
+"'It's desayvin' us ye are, ye outprobious ould villin,' says they to him.
+'Musha, thin, bad cess to ye, bring out the Princess an' let her make her
+chice bechune us, or it'll be the worse fur ye, ye palaverin' ould daddy
+long-legs,' says they.
+
+"'God bechune us an' harm,' says the ould King, 'sure d' ye think it's
+makin' fun av ye I am, an' me spindin' more than tin pounds yestherday fur
+whishkey an the shports? Faix, she's gone,' says he.
+
+"'Where to?' says they.
+
+"'Divil a know I know,' says he, wid the face av him gettin' red, an' wid
+that word they all wint away in a tarin' rage wid him, fur they consaved,
+an' shmall blame to thim, that he had her consaled in the coort an' was
+shtrivin' to chate thim.
+
+"An' they wint home an' got their armies, an' come back wid 'em that
+night, an' while the ould King an' his min were all ashlape they made
+these piles av airth to take the city whin the day 'ud break.
+
+"Whin the ould King riz an' tuk a walk an the roof wid his shlippers, sure
+phat 'ud he see but banners a-wavin', soords a-flashin', an' the ears av
+him was deefened wid the thrumpets. 'Bad scran to the idjits,' says he;
+'phat's that they're afther?' says he. 'Isn't there more nor wan woman in
+the worruld, that they're makin' a bother afther Bridget?' So wid that he
+ordhered his min to get ready wid their waypons, an' before the battle 'ud
+begin, he wint out to thry an' make a thraty.
+
+"While they were a-talkin', up comes wan av the King's tinants, wid a
+donkey an' a load av sayweed fur the King's gârden, that he'd been to
+Galway afther. 'God save ye,' says he, a-touchin' his cap; 'where is the
+six Kings?'
+
+"'An' phat d'ye want, ye blaggârd?' says they, lookin' lofty.
+
+"'I've a message fur yez,' says he, 'from the young Princess,' an' whin
+they heard him shpake, they all stopped to listen.
+
+"'She sent her respicts,' says he, 'an' bid me tell yez that she was
+afther kapin' her word an' lettin' yer Honors know who she was goin' to
+marry. It's the King av Galway that's in it, if it's plazin' to ye, an'
+she says she'll sind yez a bit av the cake. I met her lasht night in the
+road ridin' wid him on a câr an' had a bundle undher her arrum. Divil a
+taste av a lie's in it entirely.'
+
+"Bad cess to the gurrul, it was thrue fur him, fur she had run away. But,
+my dear, it was as good as the theayter to see the six young Kings an' the
+ould King, a-lookin' at aitch other as stupid as a jackass, all as wan as
+the castle 'ad 'a' fallen on thim. But they was sinsible young fellys, an'
+seen the Princess had desaved thim all complately.
+
+     [Illustration: "The Princess had disayved thim all complately"]
+
+"'Bad scran to the gurrul,' says they, 'an' it's the blessed fools we was
+fur belavin' her.' Thin they come to talk to aitch other, an' wan says,
+'Sure she thought most av me, fur she towld me she hoped I'd bate yez,'
+says he. 'Begob, she said to me that same,' says the other wans, an' they
+stud, scrotchin' the heads av thim an' disconsarted intirely.
+
+"'An' phat's the good av fightin,' says the ould King, 'bein' as we're all
+in the thrap at wanst?'
+
+"'Thrue fur ye,' says they. 'We'll dispinse widout her. We'll have it out
+wid the King o' Galway,' says they.
+
+"An' they all wint into the coort an' had the bit an' sup, an' made a
+thraty forninst the King av Galway. It was the great war that was in it,
+the Siven Kings wid the King av Galway, an' bate him out o' the counthry
+intirely. But it's my consate that they was all fools to be afther
+fightin' consarnin' wan woman whin the worruld is full o' thim, an' any
+wan competint to give a man plenty to think av, bekase whin she gives her
+attinshun to it, any woman can be the divil complately."
+
+               [Illustration: "All disconsarted entirely"]
+
+
+
+
+
+TAMING THE POOKA.
+
+
+             [Illustration: Initial: "Taming the Pooka"]
+
+The west and northwest coast of Ireland shows many remarkable geological
+formations, but, excepting the Giant's Causeway, no more striking
+spectacle is presented than that to the south of Galway Bay. From the sea,
+the mountains rise in terraces like gigantic stairs, the layers of stone
+being apparently harder and denser on the upper surfaces than beneath, so
+the lower portion of each layer, disintegrating first, is washed away by
+the rains and a clearly defined step is formed. These terraces are
+generally about twenty feet high, and of a breadth, varying with the
+situation and exposure, of from ten to fifty feet.
+
+The highway from Ennis to Ballyvaughn, a fishing village opposite Galway,
+winds, by a circuitous course, through these freaks of nature, and, on the
+long descent from the high land to the sea level, passes the most
+conspicuous of the neighboring mountains, the Corkscrew Hill. The general
+shape of the mountain is conical, the terraces composing it are of
+wonderful regularity from the base to the peak, and the strata being
+sharply upturned from the horizontal, the impression given is that of a
+broad road carved out of the sides of the mountain and winding by an easy
+ascent to the summit.
+
+"'Tis the Pooka's Path they call it," said the car-man. "Phat's the Pooka?
+Well, that's not aisy to say. It's an avil sper't that does be always in
+mischief, but sure it niver does sarious harrum axceptin' to thim that
+desarves it, or thim that shpakes av it disrespictful. I never seen it,
+Glory be to God, but there's thim that has, and be the same token, they do
+say that it looks like the finest black horse that iver wore shoes. But it
+isn't a horse at all at all, for no horse 'ud have eyes av fire, or be
+breathin' flames av blue wid a shmell o' sulfur, savin' yer presince, or a
+shnort like thunder, and no mortial horse 'ud take the lapes it does, or
+go as fur widout gettin' tired. Sure when it give Tim O'Bryan the ride it
+give him, it wint from Gort to Athlone wid wan jump, an' the next it tuk
+he was in Mullingyar, and the next was in Dublin, and back agin be way av
+Kilkenny an' Limerick, an' niver turned a hair. How far is that? Faith I
+dunno, but it's a power av distance, an' clane acrost Ireland an' back. He
+knew it was the Pooka bekase it shpake to him like a Christian mortial,
+only it isn't agrayble in its language an' 'ull niver give ye a dacint
+word afther ye're on its back, an' sometimes not before aither.
+
+"Sure Dennis O'Rourke was afther comin' home wan night, it was only a boy
+I was, but I mind him tellin' the shtory, an' it was at a fair in Galway
+he'd been. He'd been havin' a sup, some says more, but whin he come to the
+rath, and jist beyant where the fairies dance and ferninst the wall where
+the polisman was shot last winther, he fell in the ditch, quite spint and
+tired complately. It wasn't the length as much as the wideness av the road
+was in it, fur he was goin' from wan side to the other an' it was too much
+fur him entirely. So he laid shtill fur a bit and thin thried fur to get
+up, but his legs wor light and his head was heavy, an' whin he attimpted
+to get his feet an the road 'twas his head that was an it, bekase his legs
+cudn't balance it. Well, he laid there and was bet entirely, an' while he
+was studyin' how he'd raise, he heard the throttin' av a horse on the
+road. ''Tis meself 'ull get the lift now,' says he, and laid waitin', and
+up comes the Pooka. Whin Dennis seen him, begob, he kivered his face wid
+his hands and turned on the breast av him, and roared wid fright like a
+bull.
+
+                   [Illustration: Dennis and the Pooka]
+
+"'Arrah thin, ye snakin' blaggârd,' says the Pooka, mighty short, 'lave
+aff yer bawlin' or I'll kick ye to the ind av next week,' says he to him.
+
+"But Dennis was scairt, an' bellered louder than afore, so the Pooka, wid
+his hoof, give him a crack on the back that knocked the wind out av him.
+
+"'Will ye lave aff,' says the Pooka, 'or will I give ye another, ye
+roarin' dough-face?'
+
+"Dennis left aff blubberin' so the Pooka got his timper back.
+
+"'Shtand up, ye guzzlin' sarpint,' says the Pooka, 'I'll give ye a ride.'
+
+"'Plaze yer Honor,' says Dennis, 'I can't. Sure I've not been afther
+drinkin' at all, but shmokin' too much an' atin', an' it's sick I am, and
+not ontoxicated.'
+
+"'Och, ye dhrunken buzzard,' says the Pooka, 'Don't offer fur to desave
+me,' liftin' up his hoof agin, an' givin' his tail a swish that sounded
+like the noise av a catheract, 'Didn't I thrack ye for two miles be yer
+breath,' says he, 'An' you shmellin' like a potheen fact'ry,' says he,
+'An' the nose on yer face as red as a turkey-cock's. Get up, or I'll lift
+ye,' says he, jumpin' up an' cracking his hind fut like he was doin' a
+jig.
+
+"Dennis did his best, an' the Pooka helped him wid a grip o' the teeth on
+his collar.
+
+"'Pick up yer caubeen,' says the Pooka, 'an' climb up. I'll give ye such a
+ride as ye niver dhramed av.'
+
+"'Ef it's plazin' to yer Honor,' says Dennis, 'I'd laver walk. Ridin'
+makes me dizzy,' says he.
+
+"''Tis not plazin',' says the Pooka, 'will ye get up or will I kick the
+shtuffin' out av yer cowardly carkidge,' says he, turnin' round an'
+flourishin' his heels in Dennis' face.
+
+"Poor Dennis thried, but he cudn't, so the Pooka tuk him to the wall an'
+give him a lift an it, an' whin Dennis was mounted, an' had a tight howld
+on the mane, the first lep he give was down the rock there, a thousand
+feet into the field ye see, thin up agin, an' over the mountain, an' into
+the say, an' out agin, from the top av the waves to the top av the
+mountain, an' afther the poor soggarth av a ditcher was nigh onto dead,
+the Pooka come back here wid him an' dhropped him in the ditch where he
+found him, an' blowed in his face to put him to slape, so lavin' him. An'
+they found Dennis in the mornin' an' carried him home, no more cud he walk
+for a fortnight be razon av the wakeness av his bones fur the ride he'd
+had.
+
+"But sure, the Pooka's a different baste entirely to phat he was afore
+King Bryan-Boru tamed him. Niver heard av him? Well, he was the king av
+Munster an' all Ireland an' tamed the Pooka wanst fur all on the
+Corkschrew Hill ferninst ye.
+
+"Ye see, in the owld days, the counthry was full av avil sper'ts, an'
+fairies an' witches, an' divils entirely, and the harrum they done was
+onsaycin', for they wor always comin' an' goin', like Mulligan's blanket,
+an' widout so much as sayin', by yer lave. The fairies 'ud be dancin' on
+the grass every night be the light av the moon, an' stalin' away the
+childhre, an' many's the wan they tuk that niver come back. The owld rath
+on the hill beyant was full av the dead, an' afther nightfall they'd come
+from their graves an' walk in a long line wan afther another to the owld
+church in the valley where they'd go in an' stay till cock-crow, thin
+they'd come out agin an' back to the rath. Sorra a parish widout a witch,
+an' some nights they'd have a great enthertainmint on the Corkschrew Hill,
+an' you'd see thim, wid shnakes on their arrums an' necks an' ears, be way
+av jewels, an' the eyes av dead men in their hair, comin' for miles an'
+miles, some ridin' through the air on shticks an' bats an' owls, an' some
+walkin', an' more on Pookas an' horses wid wings that 'ud come up in line
+to the top av the hill, like the cabs at the dure o' the theayter, an'
+lave thim there an' hurry aff to bring more.
+
+"Sometimes the Owld Inimy, Satan himself, 'ud be there at the
+enthertainmint, comin' an a monsthrous draggin, wid grane shcales an' eyes
+like the lightnin' in the heavens, an' a roarin' fiery mouth like a
+lime-kiln. It was the great day thin, for they do say all the witches
+brought their rayports at thim saysons fur to show him phat they done.
+
+"Some 'ud tell how they shtopped the wather in a spring, an'
+inconvanienced the nabers, more 'ud show how they dhried the cow's milk,
+an' made her kick the pail, an' they'd all laugh like to shplit. Some had
+blighted the corn, more had brought the rains on the harvest. Some towld
+how their enchantmints made the childhre fall ill, some said how they set
+the thatch on fire, more towld how they shtole the eggs, or spiled the
+crame in the churn, or bewitched the butther so it 'udn't come, or led the
+shape into the bog. But that wasn't all.
+
+"Wan 'ud have the head av a man murthered be her manes, an' wid it the
+hand av him hung fur the murther; wan 'ud bring the knife she'd scuttled a
+boat wid an' pint in the say to where the corpses laid av the fishermen
+she'd dhrownded; wan 'ud carry on her breast the child she'd shtolen an'
+meant to bring up in avil, an' another wan 'ud show the little white body
+av a babby she'd smothered in its slape. And the corpse-candles 'ud tell
+how they desaved the thraveller, bringin' him to the river, an' the avil
+sper'ts 'ud say how they dhrew him in an' down to the bottom in his sins
+an' thin to the pit wid him. An' owld Belzebub 'ud listen to all av thim,
+wid a rayporther, like thim that's afther takin' down the spaches at a
+Lague meetin', be his side, a-writing phat they said, so as whin they come
+to be paid, it 'udn't be forgotten.
+
+"Thim wor the times fur the Pookas too, fur they had power over thim that
+wint forth afther night, axceptin' it was on an arriant av marcy they
+were. But sorra a sinner that hadn't been to his juty reglar 'ud iver see
+the light av day agin afther meetin' a Pooka thin, for the baste 'ud
+aither kick him to shmithereens where he stud, or lift him on his back wid
+his teeth an' jump into the say wid him, thin dive, lavin' him to dhrownd,
+or shpring over a clift wid him an' tumble him to the bottom a bleedin'
+corpse. But wasn't there the howls av joy whin a Pooka 'ud catch a sinner
+unbeknownst, an' fetch him on the Corkschrew wan o' the nights Satan was
+there. Och, God defind us, phat a sight it was. They made a ring wid the
+corpse-candles, while the witches tore him limb from limb, an' the fiends
+drunk his blood in red-hot iron noggins wid shrieks o' laughter to smother
+his schreams, an' the Pookas jumped on his body an' thrampled it into the
+ground, an' the timpest 'ud whishle a chune, an' the mountains about 'ud
+kape time, an' the Pookas, an' witches, an' sper'ts av avil, an'
+corpse-candles, an' bodies o' the dead, an' divils, 'ud all jig together
+round the rock where owld Belzebub 'ud set shmilin', as fur to say he'd ax
+no betther divarshun. God's presince be wid us, it makes me crape to think
+av it.
+
+"Well, as I was afther sayin', in the time av King Bryan, the Pookas done
+a dale o' harrum, but as thim that they murthered wor dhrunken bastes that
+wor in the shebeens in the day an' in the ditch be night, an' wasn't
+missed whin the Pookas tuk them, the King paid no attintion, an' small
+blame to him that 's.
+
+"But wan night, the queen's babby fell ill, an' the king says to his man,
+says he, 'Here, Riley, get you up an' on the white mare an' go fur the
+docther.'
+
+"'Musha thin,' says Riley, an' the king's counthry house was in the break
+o' the hills, so Riley 'ud pass the rath an' the Corkschrew on the way
+afther the docther; 'Musha thin,' says he, aisey and on the quiet, 'it's
+mesilf that doesn't want that same job.'
+
+"So he says to the king, 'Won't it do in the mornin'?'
+
+"'It will not,' says the king to him. 'Up, ye lazy beggar, atin' me bread,
+an' the life lavin' me child.'
+
+"So he wint, wid great shlowness, tuk the white mare, an' aff, an' that
+was the last seen o' him or the mare aither, fur the Pooka tuk 'em. Sorra
+a taste av a lie's in it, for thim that said they seen him in Cork two
+days afther, thrading aff the white mare, was desaved be the sper'ts, that
+made it seem to be him whin it wasn't that they've a thrick o' doin'.
+
+"Well, the babby got well agin, bekase the docther didn't get there, so
+the king left botherin' afther it and begun to wondher about Riley an' the
+white mare, and sarched fur thim but didn't find thim. An' thin he knewn
+that they was gone entirely, bekase, ye see, the Pooka didn't lave as much
+as a hair o' the mare's tail.
+
+"'Wurra thin,' says he, 'is it horses that the Pooka 'ull be stalin'? Bad
+cess to its impidince! This 'ull niver do. Sure we'll be ruinated
+entirely,' says he.
+
+"Mind ye now, it's my consate from phat he said, that the king wasn't
+consarned much about Riley, fur he knewn that he cud get more Irishmen
+whin he wanted thim, but phat he meant to say was that if the Pooka tuk to
+horse-stalin', he'd be ruinated entirely, so he would, for where 'ud he
+get another white mare? So it was a mighty sarious question an' he retired
+widin himself in the coort wid a big book that he had that towld saycrets.
+He'd a sight av larnin', had the king, aquel to a school-masther, an' a
+head that 'ud sarcumvint a fox.
+
+"So he read an' read as fast as he cud, an' afther readin' widout
+shtoppin', barrin' fur the bit an' sup, fur siven days an' nights, he come
+out, an' whin they axed him cud he bate the Pooka now, he said niver a
+word, axceptin' a wink wid his eye, as fur to say he had him.
+
+         [Illustration: "He'd a sight of larnin', had the King"]
+
+"So that day he was in the fields an' along be the hedges an' ditches from
+sunrise to sunset, collectin' the matarials av a dose fur the Pooka, but
+phat he got, faith, I dunno, no more does any wan, fur he never said, but
+kep the saycret to himself an' didn't say it aven to the quane, fur he
+knewn that saycrets run through a woman like wather in a ditch. But there
+was wan thing about it that he cudn't help tellin', fur he wanted it but
+cudn't get it widout help, an' that was three hairs from the Pooka's tail,
+axceptin' which the charm 'udn't work. So he towld a man he had, he'd give
+him no end av goold if he'd get thim fur him, but the felly pulled aff his
+caubeen an' scrotched his head an' says, 'Faix, yer Honor, I dunno phat'll
+be the good to me av the goold if the Pooka gets a crack at me carkidge
+wid his hind heels,' an' he wudn't undhertake the job on no wages, so the
+king begun to be afeared that his loaf was dough.
+
+"But it happen'd av the Friday, this bein' av a Chewsday, that the Pooka
+caught a sailor that hadn't been on land only long enough to get bilin'
+dhrunk, an' got him on his back, so jumped over the clift wid him lavin'
+him dead enough, I go bail. Whin they come to sarch the sailor to see phat
+he had in his pockets, they found three long hairs round the third button
+av his top-coat. So they tuk thim to the king tellin' him where they got
+thim, an' he was greatly rejiced, bekase now he belaved he had the Pooka
+sure enough, so he ended his inchantmint.
+
+"But as the avenin' come, he riz a doubt in the mind av him thish-a-way.
+Ev the three hairs wor out av the Pooka's tail, the charm 'ud be good
+enough, but if they wasn't, an' was from his mane inshtead, or from a
+horse inshtead av a Pooka, the charm 'udn't work an' the Pooka 'ud get
+atop av him wid all the feet he had at wanst an' be the death av him
+immejitly. So this nate and outprobrious argymint shtruck the king wid
+great force an' fur a bit, he was onaisey. But wid a little sarcumvintion,
+he got round it, for he confist an' had absolution so as he'd be ready,
+thin he towld wan av the sarvints to come in an' tell him afther supper,
+that there was a poor widdy in the boreen beyant the Corkschrew that
+wanted help that night, that it 'ud be an arriant av marcy he'd be on, an'
+so safe agin the Pooka if the charm didn't howld.
+
+"'Sure, phat'll be the good o' that?' says the man, 'It 'ull be a lie, an'
+won't work.'
+
+"'Do you be aisey in yer mind,' says the king to him agin, 'do as yer
+towld an' don't argy, for that's a pint av mettyfisics,' says he, faix it
+was a dale av deep larnin' he had, 'that's a pint av mettyfisics an' the
+more ye argy on thim subjics, the less ye know,' says he, an' it's thrue
+fur him. 'Besides, aven if it's a lie, it'll desave the Pooka, that's no
+mettyfishian, an' it's my belafe that the end is good enough for the
+manes,' says he, a-thinking av the white mare.
+
+"So, afther supper, as the king was settin' afore the fire, an' had the
+charm in his pocket, the sarvint come in and towld him about the widdy.
+
+"'Begob,' says the king, like he was surprised, so as to desave the Pooka
+complately, 'Ev that's thrue, I must go relave her at wanst.' So he riz
+an' put on sojer boots, wid shpurs on 'em a fut acrost, an' tuk a long
+whip in his hand, for fear, he said, the widdy 'ud have dogs, thin wint to
+his chist an' tuk his owld stockin' an' got a suv'rin out av it,--Och,
+'twas the shly wan he was, to do everything so well,--an' wint out wid his
+right fut first, an' the shpurs a-rattlin' as he walked.
+
+"He come acrost the yard, an' up the hill beyant yon an' round the corner,
+but seen nothin' at all. Thin up the fut path round the Corkscrew an' met
+niver a sowl but a dog that he cast a shtone at. But he didn't go out av
+the road to the widdy's, for he was afeared that if he met the Pooka an'
+he caught him in a lie, not bein' in the road to where he said he was
+goin', it 'ud be all over wid him. So he walked up an' down bechuxt the
+owld church below there an' the rath on the hill, an' jist as the clock
+was shtrikin' fur twelve, he heard a horse in front av him, as he was
+walkin' down, so he turned an' wint the other way, gettin' his charm
+ready, an' the Pooka come up afther him.
+
+"'The top o' the mornin' to yer Honor,' says the Pooka, as perlite as a
+Frinchman, for he seen be his close that the king wasn't a common blaggârd
+like us, but was wan o' the rale quolity.
+
+"'Me sarvice to ye,' says the king to him agin, as bowld as a ram, an'
+whin the Pooka heard him shpake, he got perliter than iver, an' made a low
+bow an' shcrape wid his fut, thin they wint on together an' fell into
+discoorse.
+
+"''Tis a black night for thravelin',' says the Pooka.
+
+"'Indade it is,' says the king, 'it's not me that 'ud be out in it, if it
+wasn't a case o' needcessity. I'm on an arriant av charity,' says he.
+
+"'That's rale good o' ye,' says the Pooka to him, 'and if I may make bowld
+to ax, phat's the needcessity?'
+
+"''Tis to relave a widdy-woman,' says the king.
+
+"'Oho,' says the Pooka, a-throwin' back his head laughin' wid great
+plazin'ness an' nudgin' the king wid his leg on the arrum, beways that it
+was a joke it was bekase the king said it was to relave a widdy he was
+goin'. 'Oho,' says the Pooka, ''tis mesilf that's glad to be in the
+comp'ny av an iligint jintleman that's on so plazin' an arriant av marcy,'
+says he. 'An' how owld is the widdy-woman?' says he, bustin' wid the
+horrid laugh he had.
+
+                 [Illustration: "The Quane a-gosterin'"]
+
+"'Musha thin,' says the king, gettin' red in the face an' not likin' the
+joke the laste bit, for jist betune us, they do say that afore he married
+the quane, he was the laddy-buck wid the wimmin, an' the quane's maid
+towld the cook, that towld the footman, that said to the gârdener, that
+towld the nabers that many's the night the poor king was as wide awake as
+a hare from sun to sun wid the quane a-gostherin' at him about that same.
+More betoken, there was a widdy in it, that was as sharp as a rat-thrap
+an' surrounded him whin he was young an' hadn't as much sinse as a goose,
+an' was like to marry him at wanst in shpite av all his relations, as
+widdys undhershtand how to do. So it's my consate that it wasn't dacint
+for the Pooka to be afther laughin' that-a-way, an' shows that avil
+sper'ts is dirthy blaggârds that can't talk wid jintlemin. 'Musha,' thin,
+says the king, bekase the Pooka's laughin' wasn't agrayble to listen to,
+'I don't know that same, fur I niver seen her, but, be jagers, I belave
+she's a hundherd, an' as ugly as Belzebub, an' whin her owld man was
+alive, they tell me she had a timper like a gandher, an' was as aisey to
+manage as an armful o' cats,' says he. 'But she's in want, an' I'm afther
+bringin' her a suv'rin,' says he.
+
+"Well, the Pooka sayced his laughin', fur he seen the king was very vexed,
+an' says to him, 'And if it's plazin', where does she live?'
+
+"'At the ind o' the boreen beyant the Corkschrew,' says the king, very
+short.
+
+"'Begob, that's a good bit,' says the Pooka.
+
+"'Faix, it's thrue for ye,' says the king, 'more betoken, it's up hill
+ivery fut o' the way, an' me back is bruk entirely wid the stapeness,'
+says he, be way av a hint he'd like a ride.
+
+"'Will yer Honor get upon me back,' says the Pooka. 'Sure I'm afther goin'
+that-a-way, an' you don't mind gettin' a lift?' says he, a-fallin' like
+the stupid baste he was, into the thrap the king had made fur him.
+
+"'Thanks,' says the king, 'I b'lave not. I've no bridle nor saddle,' says
+he, 'besides, it's the shpring o' the year, an' I'm afeared ye're
+sheddin', an' yer hair 'ull come aff an' spile me new britches,' says he,
+lettin' on to make axcuse.
+
+"'Have no fear,' says the Pooka. 'Sure I niver drop me hair. It's no
+ordhinary garron av a horse I am, but a most oncommon baste that's used to
+the quolity,' says he.
+
+"'Yer spache shows that,' says the king, the clever man that he was, to be
+perlite that-a-way to a Pooka, that's known to be a divil out-en-out, 'but
+ye must exqueeze me this avenin', bekase, d'ye mind, the road's full o'
+shtones an' monsthrous stape, an' ye look so young, I'm afeared ye'll
+shtumble an' give me a fall,' says he.
+
+"'Arrah thin,' says the Pooka, 'it's thrue fur yer Honor, I do look
+young,' an' he begun to prance on the road givin' himself airs like an
+owld widdy man afther wantin' a young woman, 'but me age is owlder than
+ye'd suppoge. How owld 'ud ye say I was,' says he, shmilin'.
+
+    [Illustration: "IF IT'S AGGRAYBLE TO YE, I'LL LOOK IN YER MOUTH."]
+
+            "IF IT'S AGGRAYBLE TO YE, I'LL LOOK IN YER MOUTH."
+
+
+"'Begorra, divil a bit know I,' says the king, 'but if it's agrayble to
+ye, I'll look in yer mouth an' give ye an answer,' says he.
+
+"So the Pooka come up to him fair an' soft an' stratched his mouth like as
+he thought the king was wantin' fur to climb in, an' the king put his hand
+on his jaw like as he was goin' to see the teeth he had: and thin, that
+minnit he shlipped the three hairs round the Pooka's jaw, an' whin he done
+that, he dhrew thim tight, an' said the charm crossin' himself the while,
+an' immejitly the hairs wor cords av stale, an' held the Pooka tight, be
+way av a bridle.
+
+"'Arra-a-a-h, now, ye bloody baste av a murtherin' divil ye,' says the
+king, pullin' out his big whip that he had consaled in his top-coat, an'
+giving the Pooka a crack wid it undher his stummick, 'I'll give ye a ride
+ye won't forgit in a hurry,' says he, 'ye black Turk av a four-legged
+nagur an' you shtaling me white mare,' says he, hittin' him agin.
+
+"'Oh my,' says the Pooka, as he felt the grip av the iron on his jaw an'
+knewn he was undher an inchantmint, 'Oh my, phat's this at all,' rubbin'
+his breast wid his hind heel, where the whip had hit him, an' thin jumpin'
+wid his fore feet out to cotch the air an' thryin' fur to break away.
+'Sure I'm ruined, I am, so I am,' says he.
+
+"'It's thrue fur ye,' says the king, 'begob it's the wan thrue thing ye
+iver said,' says he, a-jumpin' on his back, an' givin' him the whip an'
+the two shpurs wid all his might.
+
+"Now I forgot to tell ye that whin the king made his inchantmint, it was
+good fur siven miles round, and the Pooka knewn that same as well as the
+king an' so he shtarted like a cunshtable was afther him, but the king was
+afeared to let him go far, thinkin' he'd do the siven miles in a jiffy,
+an' the inchantmint 'ud be broken like a rotten shtring, so he turned him
+up the Corkschrew.
+
+"'I'll give ye all the axercise ye want,' says he, 'in thravellin' round
+this hill,' an' round an' round they wint, the king shtickin' the big
+shpurs in him every jump an' crackin' him wid the whip till his sides run
+blood in shtrames like a mill race, an' his schreams av pain wor heard all
+over the worruld so that the king av France opened his windy and axed the
+polisman why he didn't shtop the fightin' in the shtrate. Round an' round
+an' about the Corkschrew wint the king, a-lashin' the Pooka, till his feet
+made the path ye see on the hill bekase he wint so often.
+
+                   [Illustration: "The Pooka Spirits"]
+
+"And whin mornin' come, the Pooka axed the king phat he'd let him go fur,
+an' the king was gettin' tired an' towld him that he must niver shtale
+another horse, an' never kill another man, barrin' furrin blaggârds that
+wasn't Irish, an' whin he give a man a ride, he must bring him back to the
+shpot where he got him an' lave him there. So the Pooka consinted, Glory
+be to God, an' got aff, an' that's the way he was tamed, an' axplains how
+it was that Dennis O'Rourke was left be the Pooka in the ditch jist where
+he found him."
+
+"More betoken, the Pooka's an althered baste every way, fur now he dhrops
+his hair like a common horse, and it's often found shtickin' to the hedges
+where he jumped over, an' they do say he doesn't shmell half as shtrong o'
+sulfur as he used, nor the fire out o' his nose isn't so bright. But all
+the king did fur him 'ud n't taiche him to be civil in his spache, an'
+whin he meets ye in the way, he spakes just as much like a blaggârd as
+ever. An' it's out av divilmint entirely he does it, bekase he can be
+perlite as ye know be phat I towld ye av him sayin' to the king, an' that
+proves phat I said to ye that avil sper'ts can't larn rale good manners,
+no matther how hard they thry.
+
+"But the fright he got never left him, an' so he kapes out av the highways
+an' thravels be the futpaths, an' so isn't often seen. An' it's my belafe
+that he can do no harrum at all to thim that fears God, an' there's thim
+that says he niver shows himself nor meddles wid man nor mortial barrin'
+they're in dhrink, an' mebbe there's something in that too, fur it doesn't
+take much dhrink to make a man see a good dale."
+
+
+
+
+
+THE SEXTON OF CASHEL.
+
+
+           [Illustration: Initial: "The Sexton of Casbel"]
+
+All over Ireland, from Cork to Belfast, from Dublin to Galway, are
+scattered the ruins of churches, abbeys, and ecclesiastical buildings, the
+relics of a country once rich, prosperous and populous. These ruins raise
+their castellated walls and towers, noble even in decay, sometimes in the
+midst of a village, crowded with the miserably poor, sometimes on a
+mountain, in every direction commanding magnificent prospects; sometimes
+on an island in one of the lakes, which, like emeralds in a setting of
+deeper green, gem the surface of the rural landscape and contribute to
+increase the beauty of scenery not surpassed in the world.
+
+Ages ago the voice of prayer and the song of praise ceased to ascend from
+these sacred edifices, and they are now visited only by strangers, guides,
+and parties of humble peasants, the foremost bearing on their shoulders
+the remains of a companion to be laid within the hallowed enclosure, for
+although the church is in ruins, the ground in and about it is still holy
+and in service when pious hands lay away in the bosom of earth the bodies
+of those who have borne the last burden, shed the last tear, and succumbed
+to the last enemy. But among all the pitiable spectacles presented in this
+               unhappy [Illustration: THE ROCK OF CASHEL.]
+
+                           THE ROCK OF CASHEL.
+
+
+country, none is better calculated to inspire sad reflections than a rural
+graveyard. The walls of the ruined church tower on high, with massive
+cornice and pointed window; within stand monuments and tombs of the Irish
+great; kings, princes, and archbishops lie together, while about the
+hallowed edifice are huddled the graves of the poor; here, sinking so as
+to be indistinguishable from the sod; there, rising in new-made
+proportions; yonder, marked with a wooden cross, or a round stick, the
+branch of a tree rudely trimmed, but significant as the only token bitter
+poverty could furnish of undying love; while over all the graves, alike of
+the high born and of the lowly, the weeds and nettles grow.
+
+"Sure there's no saxton, Sorr," said car-man Jerry Magwire, in answer to a
+question, "We dig the graves ourselves whin we put them away, an'
+sometimes there's a fight in the place whin two berryin's meet. Why is
+that? Faith, it's not for us to be talkin' o' them deep subjects widout
+respict, but it's the belafe that the last wan berrid must be carryin'
+wather all the time to the sowls in Purgathory till the next wan comes to
+take the place av him. So, ye mind, when two berryin's happen to meet,
+aitch party is shtrivin' to be done foorst, an' wan thries to make the
+other lave aff, an' thin they have it. Troth, Irishmen are too handy wid
+their fishts entirely, it's a weak pint wid 'em. But it's a sad sight, so
+it is, to see the graves wid the nettles on thim an' the walls all
+tumblin'. It isn't every owld church that has a caretaker like him of
+Cashel. Bedad, he was betther nor a flock av goats to banish the weeds.
+
+"Who was he? Faith, I niver saw him but the wan time, an' thin I had only
+a shot at him as he was turnin' a corner, for it was as I was lavin'
+Cormac's chapel the time I wint to Cashel on a pinance, bekase av a little
+throuble on me mind along av a pig that wasn't mine, but got mixed wid
+mine whin I was afther killin' it. But, as I obsarved, it was only a shot
+at him I had, for it wasn't aften that he was seen in the daytime, but
+done all his work in the night, an' it isn't me that 'ud be climbin' the
+Rock av Cashel afther the sun 'ud go to slape. Not that there's avil
+sper'ts there, for none that's bad can set fut on that holy ground day or
+night, but I'm not afther wantin' to meet a sper't av any kind, even if
+it's good, for how can ye tell about thim. Sure aven the blessed saints
+have been desaved, an' it's not for a sinner like me to be settin' up for
+to know more than thimselves. But it was the long, bent body that he had,
+like he'd a burdhen on his back, as they say, God be good to him, he had
+on his sowl, an' a thin, white face wid the hair an' beard hangin' about
+it, an' the great, blue eyes lookin' out as if he was gazin' on the other
+worruld. No, I didn't run down the rock, but I didn't walk aither, but
+jist bechuxt the two, wid a sharp eye round the corners that I passed. No
+more do I belave there was harrum in him, but, God's prisence be about us,
+ye can't tell.
+
+"He was a man o' Clare be the name av Paddy O'Sullivan, an' lived on the
+highway betune Crusheen an' Ennis, an' they do say that whin he was a lad,
+there wasn't a finer to be seen in the County; a tall, shtrappin' young
+felly wid an eye like a bay'net, an' a fisht like a shmith, an' the fut
+an' leg av him 'ud turn the hearts o' half the wimmin in the parish. An'
+they was all afther him, like they always do be whin a man is good
+lookin', sure I've had a little o' that same exparience mesilf. Ye needn't
+shmile. I know me head has no more hair on it than an egg, an' I think me
+last tooth 'ull come out tomorrer, bad cess to the day, but they do say
+that forty years ago, I cud have me pick av the gurruls, an' mebbe they're
+mishtaken an' mebbe not. But I was sayin', the gurruls were afther Paddy
+like rats afther chaze, an' sorra a wan o' thim but whin she spied him on
+the road, 'ud shlip behind the hedge to shmooth her locks a bit an' set
+the shawl shtraight on her head. An' whin there was a bit av a dance,
+niver a boy 'ud get a chance till Paddy made his chice to dance wid, an'
+sorra a good word the rest o' the gurruls 'ud give that same. Och, the
+tongues that wimmin have! Sure they're sharper nor a draggin's tooth.
+Faith, I know that well too, for I married two o' them an' larned a deal
+too afther doin' it, an' axin' yer pardon, it's my belafe that if min
+knewn as much before marryin' as afther, bedad, the owld maid population
+'ud be greatly incrased.
+
+"Howandiver, afther a bit, Paddy left carin' for thim all, that, in my
+consate, is a moighty safe way, and begun to look afther wan. Her name was
+Nora O'Moore, an' she was as clever a gurrul as 'ud be found bechuxt
+Limerick an' Galway. She was kind o' resarved like, wid a face as pale as
+a shroud, an' hair as black as a crow, an' eyes that looked at ye an'
+never seen ye. No more did she talk much, an' whin Paddy 'ud be sayin' his
+fine spaches, she'd listen wid her eyes cast down, an' whin she'd had
+enough av his palaver, she'd jist look at him, an' somehow Paddy felt that
+his p'liteness wasn't the thing to work wid. He cudn't undhershtand her,
+an' bedad, many's the man that's caught be not undhershtandin' thim.
+There's rivers that's quiet on top bekase they're deep, an' more that's
+quiet bekase they're not deep enough to make a ripple, but phat's the
+differ if ye can't sound thim, an' whin a woman's quiet, begorra, it's not
+aisy to say if she's deep or shallow. But Nora was a deep wan, an' as good
+as iver drew a breath. She thought a dale av Paddy, only she'd be torn
+limb from limb afore she'd let him know it till he confist first. Well, my
+dear, Paddy wint on, at firsht it was only purtindin' he was, an' whin he
+found she cudn't be tuk wid his chaff, he got in airnest, an' afore he
+knewn it, he was dead in love wid Nora, an' had as much show for gettin'
+out agin as a shape in a bog, an' sorra a bit did he know at all at all,
+whether she cared a traneen for him. It's funny entirely that whin a man
+thinks a woman is afther him, he's aff like a hare, but if she doesn't
+care a rap, begob, he'll give the nose aff his face to get her. So it was
+wid Paddy an' Nora, axceptin' that Paddy didn't know that Nora wanted him
+as much as he wanted her.
+
+"So, wan night, whin he was bringin' her from a dance that they'd been at,
+he said to her that he loved her betther than life an' towld her would she
+marry him, an' she axed was it jokin' or in airnest he was, an' he said
+cud she doubt it whin he loved her wid all the veins av his heart, an' she
+trimbled, turnin' paler than iver, an' thin blushin' rosy red for joy an'
+towld him yes, an' he kissed her, an' they both thought the throuble was
+all over foriver. It's a way thim lovers has, an' they must be axcused,
+bekase it's the same wid thim all.
+
+"But it wasn't at all, fur Nora had an owld squireen av a father, that was
+as full av maneness as eggs is av mate. Sure he was the divil entirely at
+home, an' niver left off wid the crassness that was in him. The timper av
+him was spiled be rason o' losing his bit o' money wid cârds an' racin',
+an' like some min, he tuk it out wid his wife an' dawther. There was only
+the three o' thim in it, an' they do say that whin he was crazy wid
+dhrink, he'd bate thim right an' lift, an' turn thim out o' the cabin into
+the night, niver heeding, the baste, phat 'ud come to thim. But they niver
+said a word thimselves, an' the nabers only larned av it be seein' thim.
+
+"Well. Whin O'Moore was towld that Paddy was kapin' comp'ny wid Nora, an'
+the latther an' her mother towld him she wanted fur to marry Paddy, the
+owld felly got tarin' mad, fur he was as proud as a paycock, an' though
+he'd nothin' himself, he riz agin the match, an' all the poor mother an'
+Nora cud say 'udn't sthir him.
+
+              [Illustration: "Be aff wid yer nonsinse"]
+
+"'Sure I've nothin' agin him,' he'd say, 'barrin' he's as poor as a
+fiddler, an' I want Nora to make a good match.'
+
+"Now the owld felly had a match in his mind fur Nora, a lad from
+Tipperary, whose father was a farmer there, an' had a shmart bit av land
+wid no end av shape grazin' on it, an' the Tipperary boy wasn't bad at
+all, only as shtupid as a donkey, an' whin he'd come to see Nora, bad cess
+to the word he'd to say, only look at her a bit an' thin fall aslape an'
+knock his head agin the wall. But he wanted her, an' his father an'
+O'Moore put their heads together over a glass an' aggrade that the young
+wans 'ud be married.
+
+"'Sure I don't love him a bit, father,' Nora 'ud say.
+
+"'Be aff wid yer nonsinse,' he'd say to her. 'Phat does it matther about
+love, whin he's got more nor a hunderd shape. Sure I wudn't give the wool
+av thim fur all the love in Clare,' says he, an' wid that the argymint 'ud
+end.
+
+"So Nora towld Paddy an' Paddy said he'd not give her up for all the men
+in Tipperary or all the shape in Ireland, an' it was aggrade that in wan
+way or another, they'd be married in spite av owld O'Moore, though Nora
+hated to do it, bekase, as I was afther tellin' ye, she was a good gurrul,
+an' wint to mass an' to her duty reg'lar. But like the angel that she was,
+she towld her mother an' the owld lady was agrayble, an' so Nora
+consinted.
+
+"But O'Moore was shrewder than a fox whin he was sober, an' that was whin
+he'd no money to shpend in dhrink, an' this bein' wan o' thim times, he
+watched Nora an' begun to suspicion somethin'. So he made belave that
+everything was right an' the next time that Murphy, that bein' the name o'
+the Tipperary farmer, came, the two owld fellys settled it that O'Moore
+an' Nora 'ud come to Tipperary av the Winsday afther, that bein' the day
+o' the fair in Ennis that they knew Paddy 'ud be at, an' whin they got to
+Tipperary, they'd marry Nora an' young Murphy at wanst. So owld Murphy was
+to sind the câr afther thim an' everything was made sure. So, av the
+Winsday, towards noon, says owld O'Moore to Nora,--
+
+"'Be in a hurry now, me child, an' make yersel' as fine as ye can, an'
+Murphy's câr 'ull be here to take us to the fair.'
+
+"Nora didn't want to go, for Paddy was comin' out in the afthernoon,
+misthrustin' that owld O'Moore 'ud be at the fair. But O'Moore only towld
+her to make haste wid hersilf or they'd be late, an' she did. So the câr
+came, wid a boy dhriving, an' owld O'Moore axed the boy if he wanted to go
+to the fair, so that Nora cudn't hear him, an' the boy said yes, an'
+O'Moore towld him to go an' he'd dhrive an' bring him back tomorrer. So
+the boy wint away, an' O'Moore an' Nora got up an' shtarted. Whin they
+came to the crass-road, O'Moore tuk the road to Tipperary.
+
+"'Sure father, ye're wrong,' says Nora, 'that's not the way.'
+
+"'No more is it,' said the owld desayver, 'but I'm afther wantin' to see a
+frind o' mine over here a bit an' we'll come round to the Ennis road on
+the other side,' says he.
+
+"So Nora thought no more av it, but whin they wint on an' on, widout
+shtoppin' at all, she begun to be disquisitive agin.
+
+"'Father, is it to Ennis or not ye're takin' me,' says she.
+
+"Now, be this time, they'd got on a good bit, an' the owld villin seen it
+was no use thryin' to desave her any longer.
+
+"'I'm not,' says he, 'but it's to Tipperary ye're goin', where ye're to be
+married to Misther Murphy this blessed day, so ye are, an' make no
+throuble about it aither, or it'll be the worse for ye,' says he, lookin'
+moighty black.
+
+"Well, at first Nora thought her heart 'ud shtand still. 'Sure, Father
+dear, ye don't mane it, ye cudn't be so cruel. It's like a blighted tree
+I'd be, wid that man,' an' she thried to jump aff the câr, but her father
+held her wid a grip av stale.
+
+"'Kape still,' says he wid his teeth closed like a vise. 'If ye crass me,
+I'm like to murdher ye. It's me only escape from prison, for I'm in debt
+an' Murphy 'ull help me,' says he. 'Sure,' says he, saftenin' a bit as he
+seen the white face an' great pleadin' eyes, 'Sure ye'll be happy enough
+wid Murphy. He loves ye, an' ye can love him, an' besides, think o' the
+shape.'
+
+"But Nora sat there, a poor dumb thing, wid her eyes lookin' deeper than
+iver wid the misery that was in thim. An' from that minit, she didn't
+spake a word, but all her sowl was detarmined that she'd die afore she'd
+marry Murphy, but how she'd get out av it she didn't know at all, but
+watched her chance to run.
+
+"Now it happened that owld O'Moore, bein' disturbed in his mind, mistuk
+the way, an' whin he come to the crass-roads, wan to Tipperary an' wan to
+Cashel, he tuk the wan for the other, an' whin the horse thried to go home
+to Tipperary, he wudn't let him, but pulled him into the Cashel road.
+Faix, he might have knewn that if he'd let the baste alone, he'd take him
+right, fur horses knows a dale more than ye'd think. That horse o' mine is
+only a common garron av a baste, but he tuk me from Ballyvaughn to Lisdoon
+Varna wan night whin it was so dark that ye cudn't find yer nose, an' wint
+be the rath in a gallop, like he'd seen the good people. But niver mind,
+I'll tell ye the shtory some time, only I was thinkin' O'Moore might have
+knewn betther.
+
+"But they tuk the Cashel road an' wint on as fast as they cud, for it was
+afthernoon an' gettin' late. An' O'Moore kept lookin' about an' wonderin'
+that he didn't know the counthry, though he'd niver been to Tipperary but
+wanst, an' afther a while, he gev up that he was lost entirely. No more
+wud he ax the people on the road, but gev thim 'God save ye' very short,
+for he was afeared Nora might make throuble. An' by an' by, it come on to
+rain, an' whin they turned the corner av a hill, he seen the Rock o'
+Cashel wid the churches on it, an' thin he stopped.
+
+"'Phat's this at all,' says he. 'Faix, if that isn't Cashel I'll ate it,
+an' we've come out o' the way altogether.'
+
+"Nora answered him niver a word, an' he shtarted to turn round, but whin
+he looked at the horse, the poor baste was knocked up entirely.
+
+"'We'll go on to Cashel,' says he, 'an' find a shebeen, an' go back in the
+mornin'. It's hard luck we're afther havin',' says he.
+
+                  [Illustration: "Where is me dawther?"]
+
+"So they wint on, an' jist afore they got to the Rock, they seen a nate
+lodgin' house be the road an' wint in. He left Nora to sit be the fire,
+while he wint to feed the horse, an' whin he come back in a minit, he
+looked for her, but faith, she'd given him the shlip an' was gone
+complately.
+
+"'Where is me dawther?' says he.
+
+"'Faith, I dunno,' says the maid. 'She walked out av the dure on the
+minit,' says she.
+
+"Owld O'Moore run, an' Satan an' none but himself turned him in the way
+she was afther takin.' God be good to thim, no wan iver knewn phat tuk
+place, but whin they wint wid a lanthern to sarch fur thim whin they
+didn't raturn, they found the marks o' their feet on the road to the
+strame. Half way down the path they picked up Nora's shawl that was torn
+an' flung on the ground an' fut marks in plenty they found, as if he had
+caught her an' thried to howld her an' cudn't, an' on the marks wint to
+the high bank av the strame, that was a torrent be razon av the rain. An'
+there they ended wid a big slice o' the bank fallen in, an' the sarchers
+crassed thimselves wid fright an' wint back an' prayed for the repose av
+their sowls.
+
+"The next day they found thim, a good Irish mile down the strame, owld
+O'Moore wid wan hand howlding her gown an' the other wan grippin' her
+collar an' the clothes half torn aff her poor cowld corpse, her hands
+stratched out afore her, wid the desperation in her heart to get away, an'
+her white face wid the great eyes an' the light gone out av thim, the poor
+craythur, God give her rest, an' so to us all.
+
+"They laid thim dacintly, wid candles an' all, an' the wake that they had
+was shuparb, fur the shtory was towld in all the counthry, wid the vartues
+av Nora; an' the O'Brian's come from Ennis, an' the O'Moore's from
+Crusheen, an' the Murphy's an' their frinds from Tipperary, an' more from
+Clonmel. There was a power av atin' an' slathers av dhrink fur thim that
+wanted it, fur, d'ye mind, thim of Cashel thried fur to show the rale
+Irish hoshpitality, bekase O'Moore an' Nora were sint there to die an'
+they thought it was their juty to thrate thim well. An' all the County
+Clare an' Tipperary was at the berryin', an' they had three keeners, the
+best that iver was, wan from Ennis, wan from Tipperary, an' wan from
+Limerick, so that the praises av Nora wint on day an' night till the
+berryin' was done. An' they made Nora's grave in Cormac's Chapel just in
+front o' the Archbishop's tomb in the wall an' berried her first, an' tuk
+O'Moore as far from her as they cud get him, an' put his grave as clost be
+the wall as they cud go fur the shtones an' jist ferninst the big gate on
+the left hand side, an' berried him last, an' sorra the good word they had
+fur him aither.
+
+"Poor Paddy wint nayther to the wake nor to the berryin', fur afther they
+towld him the news, he sat as wan in a dhrame, no more cud they rouse him.
+He'd go to his work very quite, an' niver shpake a word. An' so it was,
+about a fortnight afther, he says to his mother, says he, 'Mother I seen
+Nora last night an' she stood be me side an' laid her hand on me brow, an'
+says "Come to Cashel, Paddy dear, an' be wid me."' An' his mother was
+frighted entirely, for she parsaved he was wrong in his head. She thried
+to aise his mind, but the next night he disappared. They folly'd him to
+Cashel, but he dodged an' kept from thim complately whin they come an' so
+they left him. In the day he'd hide an' slape, an' afther night, Nora's
+sper't 'ud mate him an' walk wid him up an' down the shtones av the Chapel
+an' undher the arches av the Cathaydral, an' he cared fur her grave, an'
+bekase she was berried there, fur the graves av all thim that shlept on
+the Rock. No more had he any frinds, but thim o' Cashel 'ud lave pitaties
+an' bread where he'd see it an' so he lived. Fur sixty wan years was he on
+the Rock an' never left it, but he'd sometimes show himself in the day
+whin there was a berryin', an' say, 'Ye've brought me another frind,' an'
+help in the work, an' never was there a graveyard kept like that o'
+Cashel.
+
+"When he got owld, an' where he cud look into the other worruld, Nora came
+ivery night an' brought more wid her, sper'ts av kings an' bishops that
+rest on Cashel, an' there's thim that's seen the owld man walkin' in
+Cormac's Chapel, Nora holdin' him up an' him discoorsin' wid the mighty
+dead. They found him wan day, cowld an' shtill, on Nora's grave, an' laid
+him be her side, God rest his sowl, an' there he slapes to-day, God be
+good to him.
+
+        [Illustration: "The Owld Man walkin' in Cormae's Chapel"]
+
+"They said he was only a poor owld innocent, but all is aqualized, an'
+thim that's despised sometimes have betther comp'ny among the angels than
+that of mortials."
+
+
+
+
+
+SATAN'S CLOVEN HOOF.
+
+
+            [Illustration: Initial: "Satan's Cloven Hoof"]
+
+Among the beautiful traits of the Irish character, none is more prominent
+than the religious element. Philosophers declare that the worshipping
+principle is strong in proportion to the lack of happiness in the
+circumstances of life, and at first glance there seems a degree of truth
+in the statement; for the rich, enjoying their riches, are likely to be
+contented and to look no further than this world; while the poor,
+oppressed and ground to the earth by those whom they feel to be no better
+than themselves, having that innate sense of justice common to all men,
+and discerning the inequality of worldly lots, are not slow to place
+implicit belief in the doctrine of a final judgment, at which all
+inequalities will be righted, and both rich and poor will stand side by
+side; the former gaining no advantage from his riches, the latter being at
+no disadvantage from his poverty.
+
+There is, however, good reason to believe that in the days of Ireland's
+greatness there was the same strength of devotion as at present. Ireland
+is so full of ruined churches and ecclesiastical buildings as to give
+color of truth to the statement of a recent traveller, "it is a country of
+ruins." Rarely is the traveller out of sight of the still standing walls
+of a long deserted church, and not infrequently the churches are found in
+groups. The barony of Forth, in Wexford, though comprising a territory of
+only 40,000 acres, contains the ruins of eighteen churches, thirty-three
+chapels, two convents, and a hospital of vast proportions. Nor is this
+district exceptional, for at Glendalough, Clon-mac-nois, Inniscathy, Inch
+Derrin, and Innis Kealtra, there are groups of churches, each group having
+seven churches, the edifices of goodly size, and at Clonferth and Holy
+Cross, there are seven chapels in each town, so close together as to cause
+wonder whether all were called into use.
+
+One manifestation of the religious element of the Irish nature is seen in
+the profound reverence for the memory of the saints. Of these, Ireland
+claims, according to one authority, no less than seventy-five thousand,
+and it is safe to say that the curious inquirer might find one or more
+legends of each, treasured up in the unwritten folk-lore of the country
+districts. To the disadvantage of the minor saints, however, most of the
+stories cluster round a few well-known names, and nothing delights the
+Irish story-teller more than to relate legends of the saints, which he
+does with a particularity as minute in all its details as though he had
+stood by the side of the saint, had seen everything that was done, and
+heard every word that was spoken; supplying missing links in the chain of
+the story from a ready imagination, and throwing over the whole the
+glamour of poetic fancy inseparable from the Irish nature.
+
+The neighborhood of Glendalough, County Wicklow, is sacred to the memory
+of Saint Kevin, and abounds with legends of his life and works. The seven
+churches which, according to tradition, were built there under his
+direction, are now mostly in ruins; his bed, a hollow in a precipice, is
+still shown, together with his kitchen and the altar at which he once
+ministered. In the graveyard of one of the churches is a curious stone
+cross, of considerable size, evidently monumental, though the inscription
+has been so defaced as to be illegible. On the front of the cross there is
+a deep indentation much resembling that made by the hoof of a cow in soft
+earth, the bottom of the indentation being deepest at the sides and
+somewhat ridged in the middle. Concerning this cross and the depression in
+its face, the following legend was related by an old peasant of the
+neighborhood.
+
+                       [Illustration: Glendalough]
+
+"Ye must know, that among all the saints that went to heaven from
+Ireland's sod, there isn't wan, barrin' Saint Patrick, that stands in a
+betther place than the blessed Saint Kevin av Glendalough, fur the
+wondherful things that he done is past all tellin'. 'Twas he that built
+all the churches ye see in the vale here, an' when he lived, he owned all
+the land round about, fur he restored King O'Toole's goose, that the king
+had such divarshun in, when it was too ould to fly, so the king gev him
+all that the goose 'ud fly over, an' when the goose got her wings agin,
+she was so merry that she flew over mighty near all the land that King
+O'Toole had before she come back at all, so he got it.
+
+"'Twas he too that put out o' the counthry the very last sarpint that was
+left in it, afther Saint Patrick had druv the rest into the say, fur he
+met the baste wan day as he was walkin' in the hills and tuk him home wid
+him to give him the bit an' sup, an' the sarpint got as dhrunk as a piper,
+so Saint Kevin put him in a box an' nailed it up an' flung it into the
+say, where it is to this blessed day.
+
+"But 'tis my belafe that the besht job o' work he ever done was markin'
+the divil so if you'd meet him an the road, you'd know in a minnit that it
+was himself an' no other that was in it, an' so make ready, aither fur to
+run away from him, or to fight him wid prayin' as fast as ye cud, bekase,
+ye see, it's no use fur to shtrive wid him any other way, seein' that no
+waypon can make the laste dint on his carkidge.
+
+"In thim days, an' before phat tuk place I'm tellin' ye av, the divil was
+all as wan as a man, a tall felly like a soger, wid a high hat comin' to a
+pint an' feathers on it, an' fine boots an' shpurs an' a short red jacket
+wid a cloak over his shoulder an' a soord be his side, as fine as any
+gintleman av' the good ould times. So he used to go about the counthry,
+desavin' men an' wimmin, the latther bein' his chice as bein' aisier fur
+to desave, an' takin' thim down wid him to his own place, an' it was a
+fine time he was havin' entirely, an' everything his own way. Well, as he
+was thravellin' about, he heard wan day av Saint Kevin an' the church he
+was afther buildin' an' the haythens he was convartin' an' he says to
+himself, 'Sure this won't do. I must give up thriflin' an' look afther me
+bizness, or me affairs 'ull go to the dogs, so they will.'
+
+"It was in Kerry he was when he heard the news, an' was havin' a fine time
+there, fur when Saint Patrick convarted Ireland, he didn't go to Kerry,
+but only looked into it an' blessed it an' hurried on, but though he
+didn't forget it, intindin', I belave, to go back, the divil tuk up his
+quarthers there, to make it as sure as he cud. But when he heard av Saint
+Kevin's doin's, it was too much fur him, so he shtarted an' come from
+Kerry to Glendalough wid wan jump, an' there sure enough, the walls o' the
+church were risin' afore his eyes, an' as he stud on that hill he heard
+the avenin' song o' the monks that were helpin' Saint Kevin in the work.
+So the divil was tarin' mad, an' stud on the brow o' the hill, cursin' to
+himself an' thinkin' that if any more churches got into Ireland, his job
+o' work 'ud be gone, an' he'd betther go back to England where he come
+from. He made up his mind though, that he'd do fur Saint Kevin if he cud,
+but mind ye, the blessed saint was so well beknownst to all the counthry,
+that the divil was afeared to tackle him. So he laid about in the grass,
+on his breast like a sarpint fur three or four days till they were
+beginnin' to put the roof on, and then he thought he'd thry.
+
+"Now I must tell ye wan thing. The blessed saint was at that time only a
+young felly, though they don't make 'em any betther than he was. When he
+left home, he'd a shweetheart be the name o' Kathleen, an' she loved him
+betther than her life, an' so did he her in that degray that he'd lay down
+an' die on the shpot fur the love av her, but his juty called him fur to
+be God's priest, an' he turned his back on father an' mother an' saddest
+av all on Kathleen, though it was like tarin' out his heart it was, an'
+came to Glendalough. Kathleen was like to die, but afther a bit, she got
+over it a little an' went into a convent, for, says she, 'I'll marry no
+wan, an' 'ull meet him in heaven.' But Saint Kevin didn't know phat had
+become av her, an' thried hard not to think av her, but wanst in a while
+the vision av her 'ud come back to him like the mem'ry av a beautiful
+dhrame.
+
+"Now about this time, while the divil was layin' about in the bushes
+a-watchin' the work, an' the tower of the big church was liftin' itself
+above the trees, the blessed saint begun to be onaisy in his mind, fur,
+says he to himself, 'Things is too aisy entirely. It's just thim times
+when all is goin' on as smooth as a duck on a pond that the divil comes
+down like a fox on a goslin' an' takes every wan unbeknownst, so wins the
+vict'ry. I'll have a care, fur afther the sunshine comes the shtorm,' says
+he. So that avenin' he ordhered his monks to say a thousand craydos, an'
+two thousand paters an' aves, an' afther that was done, he got in his boat
+an' crassed the lake. He climbed up to his bed above ye there, an' said
+his baids agin an' went to slape, but the divil was watchin' him like a
+hawk, for he'd laid a thrap fur the blessed saint to catch him wid, that
+was thish-a-way.
+
+"Every body knows how that Satan is shlicker than a weasel, an' has a
+mem'ry like a miser's box that takes in everything an' lets nothin' go
+out. When ye do anything, sorra a bit av it 'scapes the divil, an' he hugs
+it clost till a time comes when he can make a club av it to bate ye wid,
+an' so he does. The owld felly remimbered all that passed betune Kathleen
+an' the blessed saint, an' he knewn how hard it was fur Saint Kevin to
+forgit her, so he thought he'd put him in a fix. Afther the saint had
+cuddled up in his shtraw wid his cloak over him an' was shnoring away as
+snug as a flea in a blanket, comes the divil, a-climbin' up the rock, in
+the exact image o' the young Kathleen. Ye may think it quare, but it's no
+wondher to thim that undherstands it, fur the divil can take any shape he
+plazes an' look like any wan he wants to, an' so he does for the purpose
+av temptin' us poor sinners to disthruction, but there's wan thing be
+which he's always known; when ye've given up to him or when ye've baten
+him out o' the face, no matther which, he's got to throw aff the disguise
+that's on him an' show you who he is, an' when he does it, it isn't the
+iligant, dressed-up divil that ye see an' that I was just tellin' ye av,
+but the rale, owld, black nagur av a rannychorus, widout a haporth o' rags
+to the back av him, an' his horns an' tail a-shtickin' out, an' his eyes
+as big as an oxen's an' shinin' like fire, an' great bat's wings on him,
+an', savin' yer prisince, the most nefairius shmell o' sulfur ye ever
+shmelt. But before, he looks all right, no matther phat face he has, an'
+it's only be the goodness o' God that the divil is bound fur to show
+himself to ye, bekase, Glory be to God, it's his will that men shall know
+who they're dalin' wid, an' if they give up to the divil, an' afther
+findin' out who's in it, go on wid the bargain they've made, sure the
+fault is their own, an' they go to hell wid their eyes open, an' if they
+bate him, he's got to show himself fur to let thim see phat they've
+escaped.
+
+"Well, I was afther sayin', the divil was climbin' up the rock in the form
+o' Kathleen, an' come to the saint's bed an' teched him an the shouldher.
+The blessed saint was layin' there belike dhraming o' Kathleen, fur sure,
+there was no harm in that, an' when he woke up an' seen her settin' be his
+side, he thought the eyes 'ud lave him.
+
+"'Kathleen,' says he, 'is it yoursilf that's in it, an' me thinkin' I'd
+parted from you forever?'
+
+"'It is,' says the ould desaver, 'an' no other, Kevin darlint, an' I've
+come to shtay wid ye.'
+
+"'Sure darlint,' says the saint, 'ye know how it bruk me heart entirely to
+lave ye, no more wud I have done it, but be the will o' God. Ye know I
+loved ye, an' God forgive me, I'm afeared I love ye still, but it isn't
+right, Kathleen. Go in pace, in the name o' God, an' lave me,' says he.
+
+"'No Kevin,' says Satan, a-throwin' himself on Kevin's breast, wid both
+arrums round his neck, 'I'll never lave ye,' lettin' an to cry an' dhrop
+tears an the face o' the blessed saint.
+
+"It's no aisy matther to say no to a woman anyhow, aven to an ugly woman,
+but when it's a good-lookin' wan that's in it, an' she axin' ye wid her
+arrums round ye an' the crystal dhrops like that many dimunds fallin' from
+her eyes that look at ye like shtars through a shower av rain, begob it's
+meself that doesn't undhershtand why Saint Kevin didn't give up at wanst,
+an' so he wud if he hadn't been the blessed saint that he was. But he was
+mightily flusthered, an' no wondher, an' stud there wid his breast
+hayvin', a-shtrivin' to resist the timptation to thrade a crown in heaven
+fur a love on airth.
+
+"'Lave this place, Kevin,' says the tempther, 'an' come wid me, we'll go
+away an' be happy together forever,' an' wid that word, an' as the fate av
+the saint was trimblin' in the balances, the holy angels o' God stud
+beside him, an' wan whishpered in his ear that the Kathleen he loved
+before was a pure, good woman, an' that she'd 'a' died afore she'd come to
+him that-a-way.
+
+"'No,' says he, wid sudden shtrength. 'It's not Kathleen that's in it, but
+an avil sper't. God's prisence be about us! Get you gone Satan an' sayce
+to throuble me,' an' that minnit the blessed saint jumped up aff the
+ground an' wid his two feet gev the owld rayprobate a thunderin' kick in
+the stummick, an' when he doubled up wid the pain an' fell back an'
+clapped his hands together on the front av him, Saint Kevin gev him
+another in his rare, axin' yer pardon, that sent him clane over the clift,
+wid Saint Kevin gatherin' shtones an' flingin' thim afther him wid all the
+might that was in him. So the minnit the saint kicked him the very foorst
+kick, Kathleen disappeared, an' there was the owld black Belzebub
+a-tumblin' over, an' fallin' down to the lake, holdin' his stummick an'
+thryin' hard to catch himself wid his wings afore he'd hit the wather. But
+he did by the time he got to the bottom an' flew away, bellerin' worse nor
+a bull with a dog hangin' to his nose, so that all the monks woke wid
+fright, an' cudn't go to shlape agin till they'd said a craydo an' five
+aves apiece, but the blessed saint set be his bed a-sayin' his baids the
+rest o' the night wid a pile o' shtones convaynient to his hand fur fear
+the divil 'ud come back. But Satan flew over an that hill an' rubbed
+himself before an' behind too, where the saint had kicked him, an' didn't
+go back, for he'd enough o' the saint fur that time. But he was mightily
+vexed, an' not to lose the chance fur to do some mischief before he'd go
+away, he pulled down all the walls that the poor monks had built that day.
+
+"Now there's thim that says that it was the rale Kathleen that Saint Kevin
+kicked over the clift, but sure that's not thrue, fur it's not in an
+Irishman to thrate a woman that-a-way, that makes me belave that the
+shtory I'm tellin' ye was the thrue shtory an' that it wasn't Kathleen at
+all, but Satan, that Saint Kevin thrated wid such onpoliteness, an my
+blessin' an him fur that same, fur he come out very well axceptin' five or
+six blisthers on his face, where the divil's tears touched him, that's
+well known to make blisthers on phatever they touch.
+
+"Well, as I was sayin', he pulled down the church walls, an' the monks put
+thim up agin, an' the next mornin' they were down, an' so fur a good bit
+the contist went an betune the divil an' the monks, a-shtrivin' if they
+cud build up fashter than he cud pull down, fur he says to himself, Satan
+did, 'Jagers, I can't be losin' me time here widout doin' something, nor,
+bedad, no more can I tell how to rache the saint widout sarcumspectin'
+him.'
+
+                [Illustration: Saint Kevin and the Devil]
+
+"But the saint bate him at that game, for wan night, afther the work was
+done, he put half the monks on the wall to watch there the night, an' when
+Satan come flyin' along like the dirthy bat that he was, there was the
+monks all along be the day's job, aitch wan a-sayin' his baids as fast as
+he cud an' a bottle o' holy wather be his side to throw at the divil when
+he'd come. So he went from thim an' be takin' turns at watchin' an'
+workin', they finished the church.
+
+"In coorse o' time, Saint Kevin wanted another church an' begun to build
+it too, for he said, 'Begob, I'll have that church done be fall if every
+grain o' sand in Glendalough becomes a divil an' rises up fur to purvint
+it,' an' so he did, Glory be to God, but at first was bothered to git the
+money fur to raise the walls. Well, wan day as he was in the bother, he
+was walkin' an the hills, an' he heard the clattherin' av a horse's feet
+behind him an the road, an' afore he cud turn round, up comes the most
+illigant black horse ye ever seen, an' a tall gintleman a ridin' av him,
+wid all the look av a soger, a broad hat on the head av him, an' a silk
+jacket wid goold trimmin's, an' shtripes on his britches, an' gloves to
+his elbows, an' soord an' shpurs a-jinglin', the same as he was a rich
+lord.
+
+"'God save ye,' says the saint.
+
+"'God save ye kindly,' says the gintleman, an' they walked an together an'
+fell into convarsin'.
+
+"'I'm towld ye're afther buildin' another church,' says the gintleman.
+
+"'It's thrue for ye,' says the saint, 'but it's meself that's bothered
+about that same, for I've no money,' says he.
+
+"'That's too bad,' says the gintleman; 'have ye axed for help?' says he.
+
+"'Faix, indade I have,' says the saint, 'but the times is hard, an' the
+money goin' out o' the counthry to thim blaggârd landlords in England,'
+says he.
+
+"'It's right ye are,' says the gintleman, 'but I've hopes o' betther times
+when the tinants get the land in their own hands,' says he. 'I'm goin' to
+right thim avils. I'm the new Lord Liftinant,' says he, 'an' able to help
+ye an the job, undher a proper undhershtandin',' says he.
+
+"At foorst Saint Kevin was that surprised that he'd like to dhrop an the
+road, fur he hadn't heard av the 'pintmint av a new Lord Liftinant, but he
+raizoned wid himself that it cud aisily be done widout his knowin' av it,
+an' so he thought he'd a shtrake av luck in seein' av him.
+
+"'God be good to yer Lordship,' says he, 'an' make yer bed in the heavens,
+an' it's thankful I'd be fur any shmall favors ye plaze to give, fur it's
+very poor we are.'
+
+"'An' phat 'ud ye say to a prisint av tin thousand pound,' says the
+gintleman, 'purvided ye spind it an the church ye have an' not in buildin'
+a new wan,' says the gintleman, an' wid that word, Saint Kevin knew the
+ould inimy, an' shtarted at him.
+
+"But the divil had enough o' Saint Kevin's heels, for he'd felt the kick
+he cud give wid 'em, an' faix, the blessed saint was as well sarcumstanced
+in that quarther as a donkey, an' Belzebub knew that same, so he niver
+stayed, but when he saw Saint Kevin comin', immejitly the black horse
+changed into a big dhraggin, an' the illigant close dhrapped aff the divil
+an' in his own image he went aff shpurrin' the dhraggin, he an' the baste
+flappin' their wings as fast as they cud to get out of the saint's way an'
+lavin' afther thim the shmell av sulfur that shtrong that the blessed
+saint did nothin' for an hour but hould his nose an' cough.
+
+"Afther thim two axpayriences, the divil seen it was no use o' him
+offerin' fur to conthraven Saint Kevin, so he rayjuiced his efforts to
+botherin' the monks at the work. He'd hang about day an' night, doin' all
+the mischief that he cud, bekase, says he, 'If I can't shtop thim, by
+Jayminy, I'll delay thim to that degray that they'll find it the shlowest
+job they ever undhertuk,' says he, an' so it was. When they'd finish a bit
+o' the wall an' lave it to dhry, up 'ud come the divil an' kick it over;
+when two o' them 'ud be carrying a heavy shtone, the divil, unbeknownst to
+thim, 'ud knock it out o' their hands so as to make it dhrop on their
+toes, a-thinkin' belike, that they'd shwear on the quiet to thimselves:
+that they never did; when a holy father 'ud lay down his hammer an' turn
+his back, the divil 'ud snatch it up an' fling it aff the wall; till wid
+his knockin' over the wather-bucket, an' shcrapin' aff the morthar, an'
+upsettin' the hod o' bricks, an' makin' the monks forgit where they'd put
+things, it got so that they were in a muck o' shweat every hour o' the
+day; an' from that time it got to be said, when anything wint wrong widout
+a raizon, that the divil's in it.
+
+"Now whin Saint Kevin conshecrated the church, they tuk wid it the ground
+round about as far as ye see that shtone wall, for, says he, 'Sure it'll
+always be handy.' So in coorse o' time, as the second church was gettin'
+done, wan avenin' Saint Kevin went out wid a bucket fur to milk his cow,
+that had just come down from the mountain where she'd been grazin'. Well,
+he let the calf to her, an' the poor little baste bein' hungry, fur I
+belave the cow hadn't come up the night afore, it begun on wan side an'
+the saint an the other, an' the calf was suckin' away wid all the jaws it
+had, an' kep' up a haythenish punchin' wid its nose beways av a hint to
+the cow fur to give up more milk. The calf punched an' the cow kicked,
+fur, mind ye, the divil was in thim both, the poor bastes, no more was it
+their fault at all, an' betune howldin' the bucket in wan hand an' milking
+wid the other wan, an' kapin' his eye shkinned for the cow's heels, an'
+shovin' the calf from his side, the saint was like to lose all the milk.
+
+"'Tatther an' agers,' says he, 'shtand shtill, ye onnattheral crayther, or
+I'll bate the life out o' ye, so I will,' says he, tarin' mad, fur the
+calf was gettin' all, an' the bottom o' the bucket not covered. But the
+cow wudn't do it, so the blessed saint tuk the calf be the years fur to
+drag him away, an' then the cow run at him wid her horns so that he had to
+let go the calf's years an' dodge an' was in a bother entirely. But he got
+him a club in case the cow 'ud offer fur to hook him agin, an' opened the
+gate into the field behind the church, an' afther a good dale o' jumpin'
+about he sucsayded in dhrivin' in the cow an' kapin' out the calf. Then he
+shut the gate an' wipin' the shweat aff his blessed face, he got the
+bucket an' shtool an' set down to milk in pace. But be this time the cow
+was tarin' mad at bein' shut from the calf, an' at the first shquaze he
+gev her, she jumped like she'd heard a banshee, an' then phat 'ud she do
+but lift up her heel an' give him a kick an the skull fit to crack it fur
+him an' laid him on the grass, an' turnin' round, she put her fut in the
+bucket an' stud lookin' at him, as fur to ax if he'd enough.
+
+"'The divil brile the cow,' says the saint, God forgive him fur cursin'
+her, but ye see he'd lost all consate av her be the throuble he'd had wid
+her afore, besides the crack on his head, that was well nigh aiquel to the
+kick he cud give himself, so that he was axcusable fur phat he was sayin',
+fur it's no joke I'm tellin' ye to be made a showbogher av, be a baste av
+a cow.
+
+"'Sure I will, yer Riverince,' says a deep voice behind him, 'an' thank ye
+fur that same favor, fur it's a fat bit she is.'
+
+"Saint Kevin riz up a-rubbin' his head as fast as he cud an' looked round
+an' there sure enough was owld Satan himself standin' there grinnin' away
+wid the horrid mouth av him stratched from year to year, a-laughin' at the
+fix the saint was in. Well, the minnit Saint Kevin set his two eyes an
+him, he knewn he had him, fur ye see, the ground was conshecrated, but the
+divil didn't know it fur it was done wan time when he'd gone to Cork to
+attind a landlord's convintion to raise the rints on a lot o' shtarving
+tinants, that bein' a favorite job wid him. If he'd knewn the ground was
+holy, he'd never dared to set fut an it, fur ye see, if ye can ketch the
+divil an holy ground where he's no bizness, ye've got him fast an' tight
+an' can pull him in when ye plaze. But the saint wasn't goin' to give the
+owld desaver any show so he run at him an' gripped him be the horns, the
+same as he was a goat, an' threw him an the ground an' tied his hands wid
+a pace av his own gown that he tore aff, an' the divil, do phat he cud,
+wasn't able to break loose.
+
+"'Now,' says he, 'ye slatherin', blood-suckin', blaggârdin' nagur, I'll
+fix ye, ye owld hippypotaymus, so as ivery sowl in Ireland 'ull know ye
+where ever ye're met.'
+
+"So he rowled up his shlaves an' shpit an his hands an' fell to work. He
+onschrewed the divil's left leg at the jint av the knee, an' laid it an
+the grass. Then he tuk aff the cow's right hind leg at the knee an' laid
+that an the grass. Then he schrewed the owld cow's leg an the divil's
+knee, an' the divil's fut an the owld cow's leg, an' untied Satan an' bid
+him git up.
+
+"'Now,' says he to him, 'do you go at wanst, an' I bid ye that when ye
+meet man or mortial, the foorst thing ye do is to show that fut that they
+know from the shtart who ye are. Now shtart, ye vagabone blaggârd av a
+shpalpeen, or I'll kick the backbone shtrait up into the shkull o' ye.
+Out!' he says, flourishin' his fut at him.
+
+"Well, the divil made a break fur to run, bekase he wanted no more
+benedictions from the toes o' Saint Kevin, but not bein' used to his new
+leg, the very foorst shtep he made wid it, it kicked out behind agin this
+shtone, that wasn't a crass at all then, an' made this hole that ye see,
+an' Saint Kevin tuk the shtone an' made a crass av it aftherwards. But the
+divil didn't shtop at all when the leg wudn't go fur him, fur he seen the
+blessed saint comin', a-wavin' his fut about, so he rowled over an' over
+till he got to the wall, then made a shpring an it an' out av sight like a
+ghost.
+
+   [Illustration: "An' so he's lame, an' must show his cloven fut"]
+
+"That's the way Satan got his lame leg, bekase, ye see he's niver larned
+fur to manage it, an' goes limpity-lop, an' though he wears a cloak, is
+obligated fur to show the cow's fut whenever he talks wid any wan, fur if
+he doesn't, begorra, the leg does fur itself, fur it's niver forgot the
+thrick av kicking the owld cow larned it, an' if Satan waits a minnit, up
+goes the cow's fut, as hard an' high as the last time she kicked the
+saint. No more did the divil ever dare to come there agin, so the blessed
+Saint Kevin was left in pace to build the siven churches, an the divil
+wasn't ever seen in Glendalough, till the day the saint was berrid, an'
+then he peeped over the hill to look at the berryin', but he wudn't come
+down, thinkin', belike, it was a lie they were tellin' him when they said
+the saint was dead, fur to injuice him to come into the glen an' give
+Saint Kevin wan more whack at him wid his fut. An' they do say, that he's
+been to the besht docthers in the univaarse fur to get him another leg,
+but they cudn't do it, Glory be to God; an' so he is lame an' must show
+his cloven fut, so as ivery wan knows at wanst that it's the divil himself
+that's in it, an' can run away from him before he's time to do thim harm.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE ENCHANTED ISLAND.
+
+
+           [Illustration: Initial: "The Enchanted Island"]
+
+On the afternoon of Sunday, July 7, 1878, the inhabitants of Ballycotton,
+County Cork, were greatly excited by the sudden appearance, far out at
+sea, of an island where none was known to exist. The men of the town and
+island of Ballycotton were fishermen and knew the sea as well as they knew
+the land. The day before, they had been out in their boats and sailed over
+the spot where the strange island now appeared, and were certain that the
+locality was the best fishing-ground they had.
+
+"And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew," for the day was clear
+and the island could be seen as plainly as they saw the hills to the
+north. It was rugged, in some parts rocky, in others densely wooded; here
+and there were deep shadows in its sides indicating glens heavily covered
+with undergrowth and grasses. At one end it rose almost precipitously from
+the sea; at the other, the declivity was gradual; the thick forest of the
+mountainous portion gave way to smaller trees, these to shrubs; these to
+green meadows that finally melted into the sea and became
+indistinguishable from the waves.
+
+Under sail and oar, a hundred boats put off from the shore to investigate;
+when, as they neared the spot, the strange island became dim in outline,
+less vivid in color, and at last vanished entirely, leaving the
+wonder-stricken villagers to return, fully convinced that for the first
+time in their lives they had really seen the Enchanted Island. For once
+there was a topic of conversation that would outlast the day, and as the
+story of the Enchanted Island passed from lip to lip, both story and
+island grew in size till the latter was little less than a continent,
+containing cities and castles, palaces and cathedrals, towers and
+steeples, stupendous mountain ranges, fertile valleys, and wide spreading
+plains; while the former was limited only by the patience of the listener,
+and embraced the personal experience, conclusions, reflections, and
+observations of every man, woman, and child in the parish who had been
+fortunate enough to see the island, hear of it, or tell where it had been
+seen elsewhere.
+
+For the Enchanted Island of the west coast is not one of those ordinary,
+humdrum islands that rise out of the sea in a night, and then, having
+come, settle down to business on scientific principles, and devote their
+attention to the collection of soil for the use of plants and animals. It
+disdains any such commonplace course as other islands are content to
+follow, but is peripatetic, or, more properly, seafaring, in its habits,
+and as fond of travelling as a sailor. At its own sweet will it comes,
+and, having shown itself long enough to convince everybody who is not an
+"innocent entirely" of its reality, it goes without leave-taking or
+ceremony, and always before boats can approach near enough to make a
+careful inspection. This is the invariable history of its appearance. No
+one has ever been able to come close to its shores, much less land upon
+them, but it has been so often seen on the west coast, that a doubt of its
+existence, if expressed in the company of coast fishermen, will at once
+establish for the sceptic a reputation for ignorance of the common affairs
+of every-day life.
+
+In Cork, for instance, it has been seen by hundreds of people off
+Ballydonegan Bay, while many more can testify to its appearance off the
+Bay of Courtmacsherry. In Kerry, all the population of Ballyheige saw it a
+few years ago, lying in Tralee Bay, between Kerry Head and Brandon's Head,
+and shortly before, the villagers of Lisneakeabree, just across the bay
+from Ballyheige, saw it between their shore and Kerry Head, while the
+fishermen in Saint Finan's Bay and in Ballinskelligs are confident it has
+been seen, if not by themselves, at least by some of their friends. It has
+appeared at the mouth of the Shannon, and off Carrigaholt in Clare, where
+the people saw a city on it. This is not so remarkable as it seems, for,
+in justice to the Enchanted Island, it should be stated that its
+resemblance to portions of the neighboring land is sometimes very close,
+and shows that the "enchanter" who has it under a spell knows his
+business, and being determined to keep his island for himself changes its
+appearance as well as its location in order that his property may not be
+recognized nor appropriated.
+
+In Galway, the Enchanted Island has appeared in the mouth of Ballinaleame
+Bay, a local landlord at the time making a devout wish that it would stay
+there. The fishermen of Ballynaskill, in the Joyce Country, saw it about
+fifteen years ago, since when it appeared to the Innisshark islanders. The
+County Mayo has seen it, not only from the Achille Island cliffs, but also
+from Downpatrick Head; and in Sligo, the fishermen of Ballysadare Bay know
+all about it, while half the population of Inishcrone still remember its
+appearance about twenty years ago. The Inishboffin islanders in Donegal
+say it looked like their own island, "sure two twins couldn't be liker,"
+and the people on Gweebarra Bay, when it appeared there, observed along
+the shore of the island a village like Maas, the one in which they lived.
+It has also appeared off Rathlin's Island, on the Antrim coast, but, so
+far as could be learned, it went no further to the east, confining its
+migrations to the west coast, between Cork on the south and Antrim on the
+north.
+
+Concerning the island itself, legendary authorities differ on many
+material points. Some hold it to be "a rale island sure enough," and that
+its exploits are due to "jommethry or some other inchantmint," while
+opponents of this materialistic view are inclined to the opinion that the
+island is not what it seems to be, that is to say, not "airth an' shtones,
+like as thim we see, but only a deludherin' show that avil sper'ts, or the
+divil belike, makes fur to desave us poor dishsolute craythers." Public
+opinion on the west coast is therefore strongly divided on the subject,
+unity of sentiment existing on two points only; that the island has been
+seen, and that there is something quite out of the ordinary in its
+appearance. "For ye see, yer Anner," observed a Kerry fisherman, "it's
+agin nacher fur a rale island to be comin' and goin' like a light in a
+bog, an' whin ye do see it, ye can see through it, an' by jagers, if it's
+a thrue island, a mighty quare wan it is an' no mishtake."
+
+On so deep and difficult a subject, an ounce of knowledge is worth a pound
+of speculation, and the knowledge desired was finally furnished by an old
+fisherman of Ballyconealy Bay, on the Connemara coast, west of Galway.
+This individual, Dennis Moriarty by name, knew all about the Enchanted
+Island, having not only seen it himself, but, when a boy, learned its
+history from a "fairy man," who obtained his information from "the good
+people" themselves, the facts stated being therefore, of course, of
+indisputable authority, what the fairies did not know concerning the
+doings of supernatural and enchanted circles, being not worth knowing. Mr.
+Moriarty was stricken in years, having long given up active service in the
+boats and relegated himself to lighter duties on shore. He had much
+confidence in the accuracy of his information on the subject of the
+island, and a glass of grog, and "dhraw ov the pipe," brought out the
+story in a rich, mellow brogue.
+
+"Faith, I'm not rightly sure how long ago it was, but it was a good while
+an' before the blessed Saint Pathrick come to the counthry an' made
+Crissans av the haythens in it. Howandiver, it was in thim times that
+betune this an' Inishmore, there was an island. Some calls it the Island
+av Shades, an' more says its name was the Sowls Raypose, but it doesn't
+matther, fur no wan knows. It was as full av payple as it could howld, an'
+cities wor on it wid palaces an' coorts an' haythen timples an' round
+towers all covered wid goold an' silver till they shone so ye cudn't see
+for the brightness.
+
+"And they wor all haythens there, an' the king av the island was the
+biggest av thim, sure he was Satan's own, an' tuk delight in doin' all the
+bloody things that come into his head. If the waither that minded the
+table did annything to displaze him, he'd out wid a soord the length av me
+arrum an' cut aff his head. If they caught a man shtaling, the king 'ud
+have him hung at wanst widout the taste av a thrial, 'Bekase,' says the
+king, says he, 'maybe he didn't do it at all, an' so he'd get aff, so up
+wid him,' an' so they'd do. He had more than a hunderd wives, ginerally
+spakin', but he wasn't throubled in the laste be their clack, for whin wan
+had too much blasthogue in her jaw, or begun gostherin' at him, he cut aff
+her head an' said, beways av a joke, that 'that's the only cure fur a
+woman's tongue.' An' all the time, from sun to sun, he was cursin' an'
+howlin' wid rage, so as I'm sure yer Anner wouldn't want fur to hear me
+say thim blastpheemies that he said. To spake the truth av him, he was
+wicked in that degray that, axin' yer pardon, the owld divil himself
+wouldn't own him.
+
+"So wan time, there was a thunderin' phillaloo in the king's family, fur
+mind ye, he had thin just a hunderd wives. Now it's my consate that it's
+aisier fur a hunderd cats to spind the night in pace an the wan thatch
+than for two wimmin to dhraw wather out av the same well widout aitch wan
+callin' the other wan all the names she can get out av her head. But whin
+ye've a hunderd av 'em, an' more than a towsand young wans, big an'
+little, its aisey to see that the king av the island had plinty av use fur
+the big soord that he always kept handy to settle family dishputes wid.
+So, be the time the row I'm tellin' ye av was over an' the wimmin shtopped
+talkin', the king was a widdy-man just ten times, an' had only ninety
+wives lift.
+
+"So he says to himself, 'Bedad, I must raycrout the force agin, or thim
+that's left 'ull think I cant do widout 'em an' thin there'll be no ind to
+their impidince. Begorra, this marryin' is a sayrious business,' says he,
+sighin', fur he'd got about all the wimmin that wanted to be quanes an'
+didn't just know where to find anny more. But, be pickin' up wan here an'
+there, afther a bit he got ninety-nine, an' then cud get no more, an' in
+spite av sendin' men to ivery quarther av Ireland an' tellin' the kings'
+dawthers iverywhere how lonesome he was, an' how the coort was goin' to
+rack an' ruin entirely fur the want av another quane to mind the panthry,
+sorra a woman cud be had in all Ireland to come, fur they'd all heard av
+the nate manes he tuk to kape pace in his family.
+
+"But afther thryin' iverywhere else, he sent a man into the Joyce
+Counthry, to a mighty fine princess av the Joyces. She didn't want to go
+at first, but the injuicemints war so shtrong that she couldn't howld out,
+for the king sint her presints widout end an' said, if she'd marry him,
+he'd give her all the dimunds they cud get on a donkey's back.
+
+"Now over beyant the Twelve Pins, in the Joyce Counthry, there was a great
+inchanter, that had all kinds av saycrets, an' knew where ye'd dig for a
+pot av goold, an' all about doctherin', and cud turn ye into a pig in a
+minnit, an' build a cassel in wan night, an' make himself disappare when
+ye wanted him, an' take anny shape he plazed, so as to look to be a baste
+whin he wasn't, an' was a mighty dape man entirely. Now to him wint the
+princess an' axed him phat to do, for she didn't care a traneen for the
+king, but 'ud give the two eyes out av her head to get the dimunds. The
+inchanter heard phat she had to say an' then towld her, 'Now, my dear, you
+marry the owld felly, an' have no fear, fur av he daars to touch a hair av
+yer goolden locks, I'll take care av you an' av him too.'
+
+"So he gev her a charm that she was to say whin she wanted him to come an'
+another wan to repate whin she was in mortial danger an' towld her fur to
+go an' get marr'ed an' get the dimunds as quick as she cud. An' that she
+did, an' at foorst the king was mightily plazed at gettin' her, bekase she
+was hard to get, an' give her the dimunds an' all she wanted, so she got
+on very well an' tuk care av the panthry an' helped the other wives about
+the coort.
+
+"Wan day the king got up out av the goolden bed he shlept an, wid a
+terrible sulk an him, an' in a state av mind entirely, for the wind was in
+the aiste an' he had the roomytisms in his back. So he cursed an' shwore
+like a Turk an' whin the waither axed him to come to his brekquest, he
+kicked him into the yard av the coort, an' wint in widout him an' set down
+be the table. So wan av the quanes brought him his bowl av stirabout an'
+thin he found fault wid it. 'It's burned,' say he, an' threw it at her.
+Then Quane Peggy Joyce, that hadn't seen the timper that was an him, come
+in from the panthry wid a shmile an her face an' a big noggin o' milk in
+her hand. 'Good morrow to ye,' she says to him, but the owld vagabone
+didn't spake a word. 'Good morrow,' she says to him agin, an' thin he
+broke out wid a fury.
+
+          [Illustration: "Howld yer pace, ye palaverin' shtrap"]
+
+"'Howld yer pace, ye palaverin' shtrap. D' ye think I'm to be deefened wid
+yer tongue? Set the noggin an the table an' be walkin' aff wid yerself or
+I'll make ye sorry ye come,' says he.
+
+"It was the first time he iver spake like that to her, an' the Irish blood
+ov her riz, an' in a minnit she was as mad as a gandher and as bowld as a
+lion.
+
+"'Don't you daar to spake that-a-way to me, Sorr,' she says to him. 'I'll
+have ye know I won't take a word av yer impidince. Me fathers wore crowns
+ages afore yer bogthrottin' grandfather come to this island, an' ivery wan
+knows he was the first av his dirthy thribe that had shoes an his feet.'
+An' she walked strait up to him an' folded her arrums an' looked into his
+face as impidint as a magpie. 'Don't think fur to bully me,' she says. 'I
+come av a race that niver owned a coward, and I wouldn't give that fur you
+an' all the big soords ye cud carry,' says she, givin' her fingers a snap
+right at the end av his nose.
+
+"Now the owld haythen niver had anny wan to spake like that to him, an' at
+first was that surprised like as a horse had begun fur to convarse at him,
+no more cud he say a word, he was that full o' rage, and sat there,
+openin' and shuttin' his mouth an' swellin' up like he'd burst, an' his
+face as red as a turkey-cock's. Thin he remimbered his soord ah' pulled it
+out an' stratched out his hand fur to ketch the quane an' cut aff her
+head. But she was too quick for him entirely, an' whin he had the soord
+raised, she said the charm that was to purtect her, an' afore ye cud wink,
+there stood the blood-suckin' owld villin, mortified to shtone wid his
+arrum raised an' his hand reached out, an' as stiff as a mast.
+
+"Thin she said the other charm that called the inchanter an' he come at
+wanst. She towld him phat she done an' he said it was right av her, an' as
+she was a purty smart woman he said he'd marry her himself. So he did, an'
+bein' that the island was cursed be rayzon av the king's crimes, they come
+to Ireland wid all the payple. So they come to Connemara, an' the
+inchanter got husbands fur all the king's wives an' homes fur all the men
+av the island. But he inchanted the island an' made it so that the bad
+king must live in it alone as long as the sun rises an' sits. No more does
+the island stand still, but must go thravellin' up an' down the coast, an'
+wan siven years they see it in Kerry an' the next siven years in Donegal,
+an' so it goes, an' always will, beways av a caution to kings not to cut
+aff the heads av their wives."
+
+                    [Illustration: "Howlin' wid rage"]
+
+
+
+
+
+HOW THE LAKES WERE MADE.
+
+
+          [Illustration: Initial: "How the Lakes were made"]
+
+Among the weird legends of the Irish peasantry is found a class of stories
+peculiar both in the nature of the subject and in the character of the
+tradition. From the dawn of history, and even before, the island has been
+crowded with inhabitants, and as the centres of population changed, towns
+and cities were deserted and fell into ruins. Although no longer
+inhabited, their sites are by no means unknown or forgotten, but in many
+localities where now appear only irregular heaps of earth and stones to
+which the archćologist sometimes finds difficulty in attributing an
+artificial origin there linger among the common people tales of the city
+that once stood on the spot; of its walls, its castles, its palaces, its
+temples, and the pompous worship of the deities there adored. Just as, in
+Palestine, the identification of Bible localities has, m many instances,
+been made complete by the preservation among the Bedouins of the
+Scriptural names, so, in Ireland, the cities of pagan times are now being
+located through the traditions of the humble tillers of the soil, who
+transmit from father to son the place-names handed down for untold
+generations.
+
+Instances are so abundant as to defy enumeration, but a most notable one
+is Tara, the greatest as it was the holiest city of pagan Ireland. Now it
+is a group of irregular mounds that the casual observer would readily
+mistake for natural hills, but for ages the name clung to the place until
+at last the attention of antiquaries was attracted, interest was roused,
+investigation made, excavation begun, and the site of Tara made a
+certainty.
+
+Not all ancient Irish cities, however, escaped the hand of time as well as
+Tara, for there are geological indications of great natural convulsions in
+the island at a date comparatively recent, and not a few of the Irish
+lakes, whose name is legion, were formed by depression or upheaval, almost
+within the period of written history. A fertile valley traversed by a
+stream, a populous city by the little river, an earthquake-upheaval lower
+down the watercourse, closing the exit from the valley, a rising and
+spreading of the water, an exodus of the inhabitants, such has undoubtedly
+been the history of Lough Derg and Lough Ree, which are but reservoirs in
+the course of the River Shannon, while the upper and lower Erne lakes are
+likewise simply expansions of the river Erne. Lough Neag had a similar
+origin, the same being also true of Loughs Allen and Key. The Killarney
+Lakes give indisputable evidence of the manner in which they were formed,
+being enlargements of the Laune, and Loughs Carra and Mask, in Mayo, are
+believed to have a subterranean outlet to Lough Carrib, the neighborhood
+of all three testifying in the strongest possible manner to the sudden
+closing of the natural outlet for the contributing streams.
+
+The towns which at one time stood on ground now covered by the waters of
+these lakes were not forgotten. The story of their fate was told by one
+generation to another, but in course of ages the natural cause, well known
+to the unfortunates at the time of the calamity, was lost to view, and the
+story of the disaster began to assume supernatural features. The
+destruction of the city became sudden; the inhabitants perished in their
+dwellings; and, as a motive for so signal an event was necessary, it was
+found in the punishment of duty neglected or crime committed.
+
+Lough Allen is a small body of water in the County Leitrim, and on its
+shores, partly covered by the waves, are several evidences of human
+habitation, indications that the waters at present are much higher than
+formerly. Among the peasants in the neighborhood there is a legend that
+the little valley once contained a village. In the public square there was
+a fountain guarded by spirits, fairies, elves, and leprechawns, who
+objected to the building of the town in that locality, but upon an
+agreement between themselves and the first settlers permitted the erection
+of the houses on condition that the fountain be covered with an elegant
+stone structure, the basin into which the water flowed from the spring to
+be protected by a cover never to be left open, under pain of the town's
+destruction, the good people being that nate an' clane that they didn't
+want the laste speck av dust in the wather they drunk. So a decree was
+issued, by the head man of the town, that the cover be always closed by
+those resorting to the fountain for water, and that due heed might be
+taken, children, boys under age, and unmarried women, were forbidden under
+any circumstances to raise the lid of the basin.
+
+For many years things went on well, the fairies and the townspeople
+sharing alike the benefits of the fountain, till, on one unlucky day,
+preparations for a wedding were going on in a house close by, and the
+mother of the bride stood in urgent need of a bucket of water. Not being
+able to bring it herself, the alleged reason being "she was scholdin' the
+house in ordher," she commanded her daughter, the bride expectant, to go
+in her stead.
+
+The latter objected, urging the edict of the head man already mentioned,
+but was overcome, partly by her mother's argument, that "the good people
+know ye're the same as married now that the banns are cried," but
+principally by the more potent consideration, "Av ye havn't that wather
+here in a wink, I'll not lave a whole bone in yer body, ye lazy young
+shtrap, an' me breaking me back wid the work," she took the bucket and
+proceeded to the fountain with the determination to get the water and
+"shlip out agin afore the good people 'ud find her out." Had she adhered
+to this resolution, all would have been well, as the fairies would have
+doubtless overlooked this infraction of the city ordinance. But as she was
+filling the pail, her lover came in. Of course the two at once began to
+talk of the all-important subject, and having never before taken water
+from the fountain, she turned away, forgetting to close the cover of the
+well. In an instant, a stream, resistless in force, burst forth, and
+though all the married women of the town ran to put down the cover, their
+efforts were in vain, the flood grew mightier, the village was submerged,
+and, with two exceptions, all the inhabitants were drowned. The girl and
+her lover violated poetic justice by escaping; for, seeing the mischief
+they had done, they were the first to run away, witnessed the destruction
+of the town from a neighboring hill, and were afterwards married, the
+narrator of this incident coming to the sensible conclusion that "it was
+too bad entirely that the wans that got away were the wans that, be
+rights, ought to be droonded first."
+
+Upper Lough Erne has a legend, in all important particulars identical with
+that of Lough Allen, the catastrophe being, however, in the former case
+brought about by the carelessness of a woman who left her baby at home
+when she went after water and hearing it scream, "as aven the best babies
+do be doin', God bless 'em, for no betther rayson than to lishen at
+thimselves," she hurried back, forgetting to cover the well, with a
+consequent calamity like that which followed similar forgetfulness at
+Lough Allen.
+
+In the County Mayo is found Lough Conn, once, according to local
+story-tellers, the site of a village built within and around the enclosure
+of a castle. The lord of the castle, being fond of fish, determined to
+make a fish-pond, and as the spot selected for the excavation was covered
+by the cabins of his poorest tenants, he ordered all the occupants to be
+turned out forthwith, an order at once carried out "wid process-sarvers,
+an' bailiffs, an' consthables, an' sogers, an' polis, an' the people all
+shtandin' 'round." One of the evicted knelt on the ground and cursed the
+chief with "all the seed, breed and gineration av 'im," and prayed "that
+the throut-pond 'ud be the death av 'im." The prayer was speedily
+answered, for no sooner was the water turned into the newly-made pond,
+than an overflow resulted; the valley was filled; the waves climbed the
+walls of the castle, nor ceased to rise till they had swept the chief from
+the highest tower, where "he was down an his hard-hearted knees, sayin'
+his baids as fast as he cud, an' bawlin' at all the saints aither to bring
+him a boat or taiche him how to swim quick." Regard for the unfortunate
+tenants, however, prevented any interference by the saints thus vigorously
+and practically supplicated, so the chief was drowned and went, as the
+story-teller concluded, to a locality where he "naded more wather than
+he'd left behind him, an' had the comp'ny av a shwarm av other landlords
+that turned out the poor to shtarve."
+
+Lough Gara, in Sligo, flows over a once thriving little town, the City of
+Peace, destroyed by an overflow on account of the lack of charity for
+strangers. A poor widow entered it one night leading a child on each side
+and carrying a baby at her breast. She asked alms and shelter, but in
+vain; from door to door she went, but the customary Irish hospitality, so
+abundant alike to the deserving and to the unworthy, was lacking. At the
+end of the village "she begun to scraich, yer Anner, wid that shtrength
+you'd think she'd shplit her troat." At this provocation, all the
+inhabitants at once ran to ascertain the reason of so unusual a noise,
+upon which, when they were gathered 'round her, the woman pronounced the
+curse of the widow and orphan on the people and their town. They laughed
+at her and returned home, but that night, the brook running through the
+village became a torrent, the outlet was closed, the waters rose, and
+"ivery wan o' them oncharitable blaggârds wor drownded, while they wor
+aslape. Bad cess to the lie that's in it, for, sure, there's the lake to
+this blessed day."
+
+                        [Illustration: Lough Conn]
+
+In County Antrim there lies Lough Neag, one of the largest and most
+beautiful bodies of water on the island. The waters of the lake are
+transparently blue, and even small pebbles on the bottom can be seen at a
+considerable depth. Near the southern end, a survey of the bottom
+discloses hewn stones laid in order, and careful observations have traced
+the regular walls of a structure of considerable dimensions. Tradition
+says it was a castle, surrounded by the usual village, and accounts for
+its destruction by the lake on this wise. In ancient times, the castle was
+owned by an Irish chief named Shane O'Donovan, noted for his bad traits of
+character, being merciless in war, tyrannical in peace, feared by his
+neighbors, hated by his dependents, and detested by everybody for his
+inhospitality and want of charity. His castle then stood by the bank of
+the lake, on an elevated promontory, almost an island, being joined to the
+mainland by a narrow isthmus, very little above the water level.
+
+By chance there came into that part of Ireland an angel who had been sent
+from heaven to observe the people and note their piety. In the garb and
+likeness of a man, weary and footsore with travel, the angel spied the
+castle from the hills above the lake, came down, and boldly applied for a
+night's lodging. Not only was his request refused, "but the oncivil Shane
+O'Donovan set an his dogs fur to bite him." The angel turned away, but no
+sooner had he left the castle gate than the villagers ran 'round him and a
+contest ensued as to which of them should entertain the traveller. He made
+his choice, going to the house of a cobbler who was "that poor that he'd
+but the wan pitatee, and when he wanted another he broke wan in two." The
+heavenly visitor shared the cobbler's potato and slept on the cobbler's
+floor, "puttin' his feet into the fire to kape thim warrum," but at
+daylight he rose, and calling the inhabitants of the village, led them
+out, across the isthmus to a hill near by, and bid them look back. They
+did so, beholding the castle and promontory separated from the mainland
+and beginning to subside into the lake. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the
+castle sank, while the waters rose around, but stood like a wall on every
+side of the castle, not wetting a stone from turret to foundation. At
+length the wall of water was higher than the battlements, the angel waved
+his hand, the waves rushed over the castle and its sleeping inmates, and
+the O'Donovan inhospitality was punished. The angel pointed to a spot near
+by, told the villagers to build and prosper there; then, as the
+awe-stricken peasants kneeled before him, his clothing became white and
+shining, wings appeared on his shoulders, he rose into the air and
+vanished from their sight.
+
+Of somewhat different origin is the pretty Lough Derryclare, in Connemara,
+south of the Joyce Country. The ferocious O'Flahertys frequented this
+region in past ages, and, with the exception of Oliver Cromwell, no
+historical name is better known in the west of Ireland than O'Flaherty.
+One of this doughty race was, it seems, a model of wickedness. "He was as
+proud as a horse wid a wooden leg, an' so bad, that, savin' yer presince,
+the divil himself was ashamed av him." This O'Flaherty had sent a party to
+devastate a neighboring village, but as the men did not return promptly,
+he started with a troop of horse in the direction they had taken. On the
+way he was passing through a deep ravine at the bottom of which flowed a
+tiny brook, when he met his returning troops, and questioning them as to
+the thoroughness with which their bloody work had been done, found, to his
+great wrath, that they had spared the church and those who took refuge in
+its sacred precincts.
+
+"May God drownd me where I shtand," said he, "if I don't shlay thim all an
+the althar," and no doubt he would have done so, but the moment the words
+passed his lips, the rivulet became a seething torrent, drowned him and
+his men, and the lake was formed over the spot where they stood when the
+curse was pronounced. "An' sometimes, they say, that when the lake is
+quite shtill, ye may hear the groans av the lost sowls chained at the
+bottom."
+
+The fairies are responsible for at least two of the Irish lakes, Lough Key
+and the Upper Lough Killarney. The former is an enlargement of the River
+Boyle, a tributary of the Shannon, and is situated in Roscommon. At a low
+stage of water, ruins can be discerned at the bottom of the river, and are
+reported to be those of a city whose inhabitants injudiciously attempted
+to swindle the "good people" in a land bargain. The city was built, it
+seems, by permission of the fairies, the understanding being that all
+raths were to be left undisturbed. For a long time the agreement was
+respected, fairies and mortals living side by side, and neither class
+interfering with the other. But, as the necessity for more arable land
+became evident, it was determined by the townspeople to level several
+raths and mounds that interfered with certain fields and boundary lines.
+The dangers of such a course were plainly pointed out by the local
+"fairy-man," and all the "knowledgable women" lifted their voices against
+it, but in vain; down the raths must come and down they came, to the
+consternation of the knowing ones, who predicted no end of evil from so
+flagrant a violation of the treaty with the fairies.
+
+The night after the demolition of the raths, one of the towns-men was
+coming through the gorge below the city, when, "Millia, murther, there wor
+more than a hundherd t'ousand little men in grane jackets bringin' shtones
+an' airth an' buildin' a wall acrass the glen. Begob, I go bail but he was
+the skairt man when he seen phat they done, an' run home wid all the legs
+he had an' got his owld woman an' the childher. When she axed him phat he
+was afther, he towld her to howld her whisht or he'd pull the tongue out
+av her an' to come along an' not spake a word. So they got to the top o'
+the hill an' then they seen the wathers swapin' an the city an' niver a
+sowl was there left o' thim that wor in it. So the good people had their
+rayvinge, an' the like o' that makes men careful wid raths, not to
+displaze their betthers, for there's no sayin' phat they'll do."
+
+The Upper Killarney lake was created by the fairy queen of Kerry to punish
+her lover, the young Prince O'Donohue. She was greatly fascinated by him,
+and, for a time, he was as devoted to her as woman's heart could wish. But
+things changed, for, in the language of the boatman, who told the legend,
+"whin a woman loves a man, she's satisfied wid wan, but whin a man loves a
+woman, belike he's not contint wid twinty av her, an' so was it wid
+O'Donohue." No doubt, however, he loved the fairy queen as long as he
+could, but in time tiring of her, "he concluded to marry a foine lady, and
+when the quane rayproached him wid forgittin' her, at first he said it
+wasn't so, an' whin she proved it an him, faith he'd not a word left in
+his jaw. So afther a dale o' blasthogue bechuxt thim, he got as mad as
+Paddy Monagan's dog when they cut his tail aff, an' towld her he wanted no
+more av her, an' she towld him agin for to go an' marry his red-headed
+gurrul, 'but mârk ye,' says she to him, 'ye shall niver resave her into
+yer cassel.' No more did he, for the night o' the weddin', while they were
+all dhrinkin' till they were ready to burst, in comes the waither an'
+says, 'Here's the wather,' says he. 'Wather,' says O'Donohue, 'we want no
+wather to-night. Dhrink away.' 'But the wather's risin',' says the
+waither. 'Arrah, ye Bladdherang,' says O'Donohue, 'phat d' ye mane be
+inthrudin' an agrayble frinds an such an outspishus occasion wid yer
+presince? Be aff, or be the powdhers o' war I'll wather ye,' says he,
+risin' up for to shlay the waither. But wan av his gintlemin whuspered the
+thruth in his year an' towld him to run. So he did an' got away just in
+time, for the cassel was half full o' wather whin he left it. But the
+quane didn't want to kill him, so he got away an' built another cassel an
+the hill beyant where he lived wid his bride."
+
+Still another origin for the Irish lakes is found in Mayo, where Lough
+Carra is attributed to a certain "giont," by name unknown, who formerly
+dwelt in the neighborhood, and, with one exception, found everything
+necessary for comfort and convenience. He was a cleanly "giont," and
+desirous of performing his ablutions regularly and thoroughly. The streams
+in the neighborhood were ill adapted to his use, for when he entered any
+one of them for bathing purposes "bad scran to the wan that 'ud take him
+in furder than to the knees." Obviously this was not deep enough, so one
+day when unusually in need of a bath and driven desperate by the
+inadequacy of the means, "he spit an his han's an' went to work an' made
+Lough Carra. 'Bedad,' says he, 'I'll have a wash now,' an' so he did," and
+doubtless enjoyed it, for the lake is deep and the water clear and pure.
+
+Just below Lough Carra is Lough Mask, a large lake between Mayo and
+Galway. Concerning its origin, traditionary authorities differ, some
+maintaining that the lake was the work of fairies, others holding that it
+was scooped out by a rival of the cleanly gigantic party already
+mentioned, a theory apparently confirmed by the fact that it has no
+visible outlet, though several streams pour into it, its waters, it is
+believed, escaping by a subterranean channel to Lough Corrib, thence to
+the sea. Sundry unbelievers, however, stoutly assert a conviction that
+"it's so be nacher entirely an' thim that says it's not is ignerant
+gommochs that don't know," and in the face of determined scepticism the
+question of the origin of the lake must remain unsettled.
+
+Thus far, indeed, it is painful to be compelled to state that scarcely one
+of the narratives of this chapter passes undisputed among the veracious
+tradition-mongers of Ireland. Like most other countries in this practical,
+poetry-decrying age, the Emerald Isle has scientists and sceptics, and
+among the peasants are found many men who have no hesitation in
+proclaiming their disbelief in "thim owld shtories," and who even openly
+affirm that "laigends about fairies an' giants is all lies complately." In
+the face of this growing tendency towards materialism and the disposition
+to find in natural causes an explanation of wonderful events, it is
+pleasant to be able to conclude this chapter with an undisputed account of
+the origin of Lough Ree in the River Shannon, the accuracy of the
+information being in every particular guaranteed by a boatman on the
+Shannon, "a respectable man," who solemnly asseverated "Sure, that's no
+laigend, but the blessed truth as I'm livin' this minnit, for I'd sooner
+cut out me tongue be the root than desave yer Anner, when every wan knows
+there's not a taste av a lie in it at all."
+
+"When the blessed Saint Pathrick was goin' through Ireland from wan end to
+the other buildin' churches, an' Father Malone says he built three
+hundherd an' sixty foive, that's a good manny, he come to Roscommon be the
+way av Athlone, where ye saw the big barracks an' the sojers. So he passed
+through Athlone, the counthry bein' full o' haythens entirely an' not av
+Crissans, and went up the Shannon, kapin' the river on his right hand, an'
+come to a big peat bog, that's where the lake is now. There were more than
+a thousand poor omadhawns av haythens a-diggin' the peat, an' the blessed
+saint convarted thim at wanst afore he'd shtir a toe to go anny furder.
+Then he built thim a church an the hill be the bog, an' gev thim a holy
+man fur a priest be the name o' Caruck, that I b'lave is a saint too or
+lasteways ought to be fur phat he done. So Saint Pathrick left thim wid
+the priest, givin' him great power on the divil an' avil sper'ts, and
+towld him to build a priest's house as soon as he cud. So the blessed
+Caruck begged an' begged as long as he got anny money, an' whin he'd the
+last ha'penny he cud shtart, he begun the priest's house fur to kape monks
+in.
+
+"But the divil was watchin' him ivery minnit, fur it made the owld felly
+tarin' mad to see himself bate out o' the face that-a-way in the counthry
+where he'd been masther so long, an' he detarmined he'd spile the job. So
+wan night, he goes to the bottom o' the bog, an' begins dammin' the
+shtrame, from wan side to the other, layin' the shtones shtrong an' tight,
+an' the wather begins a risin' an the bog. Now it happened that the
+blessed Caruck wasn't aslape as Satan thought, but up an' about, for he
+misthrusted that the Owld Wan was dodgin' round like a wayzel, an' was an
+the watch fur him. So when the blessed man saw the wather risin' on the
+bog an' not a taste o' rain fallin', 'Phat's this?' says he. 'Sure it's
+some o' Satan's deludherin'.'
+
+"So down he goes bechuxt the hills an' kapin' from the river, an' comes up
+below where the divil was workin' away pilin' on the airth an' shtones. So
+he comes craipin' up on him an' when he got purty clost, he riz an' says,
+'Hilloo, Nayber!' Now Belzebub was like to dhrop on the ground wid fright
+at the look av him, he was that astonished. But there was no gettin' away,
+so he shtopped on the job, wiped the shweat aff his face, an' says,
+'Hilloo yerself.'
+
+"'Ye're at yer owld thricks,' says the blessed Caruck.
+
+"'Shmall blame to me, that's,' says Belzebub, 'wid yer churches an' saints
+an' convartin' thim haythens, ye're shpiling me business entirely. Sure,
+haven't I got to airn me bread?' says he, spakin' up as bowld as a cock,
+and axcusin' himself.
+
+"At first the blessed Caruck was goin' to be rough wid him for shtrivin'
+to interfare wid the church an' the priest's house be risin' the wather on
+thim, but that minnit the moon shone out as bright as day an' he looked
+back an' there was the beautifulest lake he iver set his blessed eyes on,
+an' the church wid its towers riz above it like a fairy cassel in a
+dhrame, an' he clasped his hands wid delight. So Satan looked too an' was
+mortefied to death wid invy when he seen how he bate himself at his own
+game.
+
+"So the blessed Caruck towld Belzebub to lave the dam where it was, an'
+then, thinkin' av the poor bog-throtters that 'ud nade the turf, he
+ordhered him beways av a punishmint, to dig all the turf there was in the
+bog an' pile it up on the hill to dhry.
+
+"'Don't you lave as much as a speck av it undher wather,' says he to him,
+'or as sure as I'm a saint I'll make ye repint it to the end o' yer
+snakin' life,' says he, an' thin stud on the bank an' watched the Owld
+Deludher while he brought out the turf in loads on his back, an' ivery
+load as big as the church, till the hape av sods was as high as a
+mountain. So he got it done be mornin', an' glad enough was the divil to
+have the job aff his hands, fur he was as wet as a goose in May an' as
+tired as a pedler's donkey. So the blessed Caruck towld him to take
+himself aff an' not come back: that he was mighty well plazed to do.
+
+                  [Illustration: The Church by the Bog]
+
+"That's the way the lake come to be here, an' the blessed Caruck come well
+out o' that job, fur he sold the turf an' built a big house on the shore
+wid the money, an' chated the divil besides, Glory be to God, when the
+Owld Wan was thryin' his best fur to sarcumvint a saint."
+
+
+
+
+
+ABOUT THE FAIRIES.
+
+
+             [Illustration: Initial: "About the Fairies"]
+
+The Oriental luxuriance of the Irish mythology is nowhere more
+conspicuously displayed than when dealing with the history, habits,
+characteristics and pranks of the "good people." According to the most
+reliable of the rural "fairy-men," a race now nearly extinct, the fairies
+were once angels, so numerous as to have formed a large part of the
+population of heaven. When Satan sinned and drew throngs of the heavenly
+host with him into open rebellion, a large number of the less warlike
+spirits stood aloof from the contest that followed, fearing the
+consequences, and not caring to take sides till the issue of the conflict
+was determined. Upon the defeat and expulsion of the rebellious angels,
+those who had remained neutral were punished by banishment from heaven,
+but their offence being only one of omission, they were not consigned to
+the pit with Satan and his followers, but were sent to earth where they
+still remain, not without hope that on the last day they may be pardoned
+and readmitted to Paradise. They are thus on their good behavior, but
+having power to do infinite harm, they are much feared, and spoken of,
+either in a whisper or aloud, as the "good people."
+
+Unlike Leprechawns, who are not considered fit associates for reputable
+fairies, the good people are not solitary, but quite sociable, and always
+live in large societies, the members of which pursue the coöperative plan
+of labor and enjoyment, owning all their property, the kind and amount of
+which are somewhat indefinite, in common, and uniting their efforts to
+accomplish any desired object, whether of work or play. They travel in
+large bands, and although their parties are never seen in the daytime,
+there is little difficulty in ascertaining their line of march, for, "sure
+they make the terriblest little cloud o' dust iver raised, an' not a bit
+o' wind in it at all," so that a fairy migration is sometimes the talk of
+the county. "Though, be nacher, they're not the length av yer finger, they
+can make thimselves the bigness av a tower when it plazes thim, an' av
+that ugliness that ye'd faint wid the looks o' thim, as knowin' they can
+shtrike ye dead on the shpot or change ye into a dog, or a pig, or a
+unicorn, or anny other dirthy baste they plaze."
+
+As a matter of fact, however, the fairies are by no means so numerous at
+present as they were formerly, a recent historian remarking that the
+National Schools and societies of Father Mathew are rapidly driving the
+fairies out of the country, for "they hate larnin' an' wisdom an' are
+lovers av nacher entirely."
+
+In a few remote districts, where the schools are not yet well established,
+the good people are still found, and their doings are narrated with a
+childlike faith in the power of these first inhabitants of Ireland, for it
+seems to be agreed that they were in the country long before the coming
+either of the Irishman or of his Sassenagh oppressor.
+
+The bodies of the fairies are not composed of flesh and bones, but of an
+ethereal substance, the nature of which is not determined. "Ye can see
+thimselves as plain as the nose on yer face, an' can see through thim like
+it was a mist." They have the power of vanishing from human sight when
+they please, and the fact that the air is sometimes full of them inspires
+the respect entertained for them by the peasantry. Sometimes they are
+heard without being seen, and when they travel through the air, as they
+often do, are known by a humming noise similar to that made by a swarm of
+bees. Whether or not they have wings is uncertain. Barney Murphy, of
+Kerry, thought they had; for several seen by him a number of years ago
+seemed to have long, semi-transparent pinions, "like thim that grows on a
+dhraggin-fly." Barney's neighbors, however, contradicted him by stoutly
+denying the good people the attribute of wings, and intimated that at the
+time Barney saw the fairies he was too drunk to distinguish a pair of
+wings from a pair of legs, so this branch of the subject must remain in
+doubt.
+
+With regard to their dress, the testimony is undisputed. Young lady
+fairies wear pure white robes and usually allow their hair to flow loosely
+over their shoulders; while fairy matrons bind up their tresses in a coil
+on the top or back of the head, also surrounding the temples with a golden
+band. Young gentlemen elves wear green jackets, with white breeches and
+stockings; and when a fairy of either sex has need of a cap or
+head-covering, the flower of the fox-glove is brought into requisition.
+
+Male fairies are perfect in all military exercises, for, like the other
+inhabitants of Ireland, fairies are divided into factions, the objects of
+contention not, in most cases, being definitely known. In Kerry, a number
+of years ago, there was a great battle among the fairies, one party
+inhabiting a rath or sepulchral mound, the other an unused and lonely
+graveyard. Paddy O'Donohue was the sole witness of this encounter, the
+narrative being in his own words.
+
+"I was lyin' be the road, bein' on me way home an' tired wid the walkin'.
+A bright moon was out that night, an' I heard a noise like a million av
+sogers, thrampin' on the road, so I riz me an' looked, an' the way was
+full av little men, the length o' me hand, wid grane coats on, an' all in
+rows like wan o' the ridgmints; aitch wid a pike on his showldher an' a
+shield on his arrum. Wan was in front, beway he was the ginral, walkin'
+wid his chin up as proud as a paycock. Jagers, but I was skairt an' prayed
+fasther than iver I did in me life, for it was too clost to me entirely
+they wor for comfort or convaynience aither. But they all went by, sorra
+the wan o' thim turnin' his head to raygard me at all, Glory be to God for
+that same; so they left me. Afther they were clane gone by, I had curosity
+for to see phat they were afther, so I folly'd thim, a good bit aff, an'
+ready to jump an' run like a hare at the laste noise, for I was afeared if
+they caught me at it, they'd make a pig o' me at wanst or change me into a
+baste complately. They marched into the field bechuxt the graveyard an'
+the rath, an' there was another army there wid red coats, from the
+graveyard, an' the two armies had the biggest fight ye iver seen, the
+granes agin the reds. Afther lookin' on a bit, I got axcited, for the
+granes were batin' the reds like blazes, an' I up an' give a whilloo an'
+called out, 'At 'em agin! Don't lave wan o' the blaggards!' An' wid that
+word, the sight left me eyes an' I remimber no more till mornin', an'
+there was I, layin' on the road where I seen thim, as shtiff as a crutch."
+
+The homes of the fairies are commonly in raths, tumuli of the pagan days
+of Ireland, and, on this account, raths are much dreaded, and after
+sundown are avoided by the peasantry. Attempts have been made to remove
+some of these raths, but the unwillingness of the peasants to engage in
+the work, no matter what inducements may be offered in compensation, has
+generally resulted in the abandonment of the undertaking. On one of the
+islands in the Upper Lake of Killarney there is a rath, and the
+proprietor, finding it occupied too much ground, resolved to have it
+levelled to increase the arable surface of the field. The work was begun,
+but one morning, in the early dawn, as the laborers were crossing the lake
+on their way to the island, they saw a procession of about two hundred
+persons, habited like monks, leave the island and proceed to the mainland,
+followed, as the workmen thought, by a long line of small, shining
+figures. The phenomenon was perhaps genuine, for the mirage is by no means
+an uncommon appearance in some parts of Ireland, but work on the rath was
+at once indefinitely postponed. Besides raths, old castles, deserted
+graveyards, ruined churches, secluded glens in the mountains, springs,
+lakes, and caves all are the homes and resorts of fairies, as is very well
+known on the west coast.
+
+The better class of fairies are fond of human society and often act as
+guardians to those they love. In parts of Donegal and Galway they are
+believed to receive the souls of the dying and escort them to the gates of
+heaven, not, however, being allowed to enter with them. On this account,
+fairies love graves and graveyards, having often been seen walking to and
+fro among the grassy mounds. There are, indeed, some accounts of faction
+fights among the fairy bands at or shortly after a funeral, the question
+in dispute being whether the soul of the departed belonged to one or the
+other faction.
+
+                    [Illustration: Music: Fairy Dance]
+
+The amusements of the fairies consist of music, dancing, and ball-playing.
+In music their skill exceeds that of men, while their dancing is perfect,
+the only drawback being the fact that it blights the grass, "fairy-rings"
+of dead grass, apparently caused by a peculiar fungous growth, being
+common in Ireland. Although their musical instruments are few, the fairies
+use these few with wonderful skill. Near Colooney, in Sligo, there is a
+"knowlageable woman," whose grandmother's aunt once witnessed a fairy
+ball, the music for which was furnished by an orchestra which the
+management had no doubt been at great pains and expense to secure and
+instruct.
+
+"It was the cutest sight alive. There was a place for thim to shtand on,
+an' a wondherful big fiddle av the size ye cud slape in it, that was
+played be a monsthrous frog, an' two little fiddles, that two kittens
+fiddled on, an' two big drums, baten be cats, an' two trumpets, played be
+fat pigs. All round the fairies were dancin' like angels, the fireflies
+givin' thim light to see by, an' the moonbames shinin' on the lake, for it
+was be the shore it was, an' if ye don't belave it, the glen's still
+there, that they call the fairy glen to this blessed day."
+
+The fairies do much singing, seldom, however, save in chorus, and their
+songs were formerly more frequently heard than at present. Even now a
+belated peasant, who has been at a wake, or is coming home from a fair, in
+passing a rath will sometimes hear the soft strains of their voices in the
+distance, and will hurry away lest they discover his presence and be angry
+at the intrusion on their privacy. When in unusually good spirits they
+will sometimes admit a mortal to their revels, but if he speaks, the scene
+at once vanishes, he becomes insensible, and generally finds himself by
+the roadside the next morning, "wid that degray av pains in his arrums an'
+legs an' back, that if sixteen thousand divils were afther him, he cudn't
+stir a toe to save the sowl av him, that's phat the fairies do be pinchin'
+an' punchin' him for comin' on them an' shpakin' out loud."
+
+Kindly disposed fairies often take great pleasure in assisting those who
+treat them with proper respect, and as the favors always take a practical
+form, there is sometimes a business value in the show of reverence for
+them. There was Barney Noonan, of the County Leitrim, for instance, "An'
+sorra a betther boy was in the county than Barney. He'd work as reg'lar as
+a pump, an' liked a bit av divarshun as well as annybody when he'd time
+for it, that wasn't aften, to be sure, but small blame to him, for he
+wasn't rich be no manner o' manes. He'd a power av ragârd av the good
+people, an' when he wint be the rath beyant his field, he'd pull aff his
+caubeen an' take the dudheen out av his mouth, as p'lite as a dancin'
+masther, an' say, 'God save ye, ladies an' gintlemen,' that the good
+people always heard though they niver showed thimselves to him. He'd a bit
+o' bog, that the hay was on, an' afther cuttin' it, he left it for to
+dhry, an' the sun come out beautiful an' in a day or so the hay was as
+dhry as powdher an' ready to put away.
+
+"So Barney was goin' to put it up, but, it bein' the day av the fair, he
+thought he'd take the calf an' sell it, an' so he did, an' comin' up wid
+the boys, he stayed over his time, bein' hindhered wid dhrinkin' an'
+dancin' an' palaverin' at the gurls, so it was afther dark when he got
+home an' the night as black as a crow, the clouds gatherin' on the tops av
+the mountains like avil sper'ts an' crapin' down into the glens like
+disthroyin' angels, an' the wind howlin' like tin thousand Banshees, but
+Barney didn't mind it all wan copper, bein' glorified wid the dhrink he'd
+had. So the hay niver enthered the head av him, but in he wint an' tumbled
+in bed an' was shnorin' like a horse in two minnits, for he was a
+bach'ler, God bless him, an' had no wife to gosther him an' ax him where
+he'd been, an' phat he'd been at, an' make him tell a hunderd lies about
+not gettin' home afore. So it came on to thunder an' lighten like as all
+the avil daymons in the univarse were fightin' wid cannons in the shky,
+an' by an' by there was a clap loud enough to shplit yer skull an' Barney
+woke up.
+
+"'Tattheration to me,' says he to himself, 'it's goin' for to rain an' me
+hay on the ground. Phat 'll I do?' says he.
+
+"So he rowled over on the bed an' looked out av a crack for to see if it
+was ralely rainin'. An' there was the biggest crowd he iver seen av little
+men an' wimmin. They'd built a row o' fires from the cow-house to the bog
+an' were comin' in a shtring like the cows goin' home, aitch wan wid his
+two arrums full o' hay. Some were in the cow-house, resayvin' the hay;
+some were in the field, rakin' the hay together; an' some were shtandin'
+wid their hands in their pockets beways they were the bosses, tellin' the
+rest for to make haste. An' so they did, for every wan run like he was
+afther goin' for the docther, an' brought a load an' hurried back for
+more.
+
+"Barney looked through the crack at thim a crossin' himself ivery minnit
+wid admiration for the shpeed they had. 'God be good to me,' says he to
+himself, ''tis not ivery gossoon in Leitrim that's got haymakers like
+thim,' only he never spake a word out loud, for he knewn very well the
+good people 'ud n't like it. So they brought in all the hay an' put it in
+the house an' thin let the fires go out an' made another big fire in front
+o' the dure, an' begun to dance round it wid the swatest music Barney iver
+heard.
+
+"Now be this time he'd got up an' feelin' aisey in his mind about the hay,
+begun to be very merry. He looked on through the dure at thim dancin', an'
+by an' by they brought out a jug wid little tumblers and begun to drink
+summat that they poured out o' the jug. If Barney had the sense av a
+herrin', he'd a kept shtill an' let thim dhrink their fill widout openin'
+the big mouth av him, bein' that he was as full as a goose himself an'
+naded no more; but when he seen the jug an' the tumblers an' the fairies
+drinkin' away wid all their mights, he got mad an' bellered out like a
+bull, 'Arra-a-a-h now, ye little attomies, is it dhrinkin' ye are, an'
+never givin' a sup to a thirsty mortial that always thrates yez as well as
+he knows how,' and immejitly the fairies, an' the fire, an' the jug all
+wint out av his sight, an' he to bed agin in a timper. While he was layin'
+there, he thought he heard talkin' an' a cugger-mugger goin' on, but when
+he peeped out agin, sorra a thing did he see but the black night an' the
+rain comin' down an' aitch dhrop the full av a wather-noggin. So he wint
+to slape, continted that the hay was in, but not plazed that the good
+people 'ud be pigs entirely, to be afther dhrinkin' undher his eyes an'
+not offer him a taste, no, not so much as a shmell at the jug.
+
+"In the mornin' up he gets an' out for to look at the hay an' see if the
+fairies put it in right, for he says, 'It's a job they're not used to.' So
+he looked in the cow-house an' thought the eyes 'ud lave him when there
+wasn't a shtraw in the house at all. 'Holy Moses,' says he, 'phat have
+they done wid it?' an' he couldn't consave phat had gone wid the hay. So
+he looked in the field an' it was all there; bad luck to the bit av it had
+the fairies left in the house at all, but when he shouted at thim, they
+got tarin' mad an' took all the hay back agin to the bog, puttin' every
+shtraw where Barney laid it, an' it was as wet as a drownded cat. But it
+was a lesson to him he niver forgot, an' I go bail that the next time the
+fairies help him in wid his hay he'll kape shtill an' let thim dhrink
+thimselves to death if they plaze widout sayin' a word."
+
+The good people have the family relations of husband and wife, parent and
+child, and although it is darkly hinted by some that fairy husbands and
+wives have as many little disagreements as are found in mortal households,
+"for, sure a woman's tongue is longer than a man's patience," and "a
+husband is bound for to be gosthered day in an' day out, for a woman's jaw
+is sharpened on the divil's grindshtone," yet opinions unfavorable to
+married happiness among the fairies are not generally received. On the
+contrary, it is believed that married life in fairy circles is regulated
+on the basis of the absolute submission of the wife to the husband. As
+this point was elucidated by a Donegal woman, "They're wan, that's the
+husband an' the wife, but he's more the wan than she is."
+
+The love of children is one of the most prominent traits of fairy
+character, but as it manifests itself by stealing beautiful babes,
+replacing them by young Leprechawns, the fairies are much dreaded by west
+coast mothers, and many precautions are taken against the elves. Thefts of
+this kind now rarely occur, but once they were common, as "in thim owld
+times, ye cud see tin fairies where there isn't wan now, be razon o' thim
+lavin' the counthry."
+
+A notable case of baby stealing occurred in the family of Termon Magrath,
+who had a castle, now in picturesque ruins, on the shore of Lough Erne, in
+the County Donegal. The narrator of the incident was "a knowledgable
+woman," who dwelt in an apology for a cabin, a thatched shed placed
+against the precipitous side of the glen almost beneath the castle. The
+wretched shelter was nearly concealed from view by the overhanging
+branches of a large tree and by thick undergrowth, and seemed unfit for a
+pig-pen, but, though her surroundings were poor beyond description, "Owld
+Meg," in the language of one of her neighbors, "knew a dale av fairies an'
+witches an' could kape thim from a babby betther than anny woman that iver
+dhrew the breath av life." A bit of tobacco to enable her to take a "dhraw
+o' the pipe, an' that warms me heart to the whole worruld," brought forth
+the story.
+
+                        [Illustration: "Owld Meg"]
+
+"It's a manny year ago, that Termon Magrath wint, wid all his army, to the
+war in the County Tyrone, an' while he was gone the babby was born an'
+they called her Eva. She was her mother's first, so she felt moighty
+onaisey in her mind about her 's knowin' that the good people do be always
+afther the first wan that comes, an' more whin it's a girl that's in it,
+that they thry to stale harder than they do a boy, bekase av belavin'
+they're aisier fur to rare, though it's mesilf that doesn't belave that
+same, fur wan girl makes more throuble than tin boys an' isn't a haporth
+more good.
+
+"So whin the babby was born they sent afther an owld struckawn av a widdy
+that set up for a wise woman, that knew no more o' doctherin' than a pig
+av Paradise, but they thought she could kape away the fairies, that's a
+job that takes no ind av knowledge in thim that thries it. But the poor
+owld woman did the best she knew how, an' so, God be good to her, she
+wasn't to be blamed fur that, but it's the likes av her that do shame thim
+that's larned in such things, fur they make people think all wise wimmin
+as ignerant as hersilf. So she made the sign o' the crass on the babby's
+face wid ashes, an' towld thim to bite aff its nails and not cut thim till
+nine weeks, an' held a burnin' candle afore its eyes, so it 'ud do the
+deeds av light an' not av darkness, an' mixed sugar an' salt an' oil, an'
+give it to her, that her life 'ud be swate an' long presarved an' go
+smooth, but the owld widdy forgot wan thing. She didn't put a lucky
+shamrock, that 's got four leaves, in a gospel an' tie it 'round the
+babby's neck wid a t'read pulled out av her gown, an' not mindin' this,
+all the rest was no good at all. No more did she tell the mother not to
+take her eyes aff the child till the ninth day; afther that the fairies
+cud n't take it.
+
+"So the nurse tuk the babby in the next room an' laid it on the bed, an'
+wint away for a minnit, but thinkin' she heard it cry, back she come an'
+there was the babby, bedclothes an' all just goin' through the flure,
+bein' dhrawn be the fairies. The nurse scraiched an' caught the clothes
+an' the maid helped her, so that the two o' thim pulled wid all their
+mights an' got the bedclothes up agin, but while the child was out o'
+sight, the fairies changed it an' put a fairy child in its place, but the
+nurse didn't know phat the fairies done, no more did the owld struckawn,
+that shows she was an ignerant woman entirely. But the fairies tuk Eva
+away undher the lake where they trated her beautiful. Every night they gev
+her a dance, wid the loveliest music that was iver heard, wid big drums
+an' little drums, an' fiddles an' pipes an' thrumpets, fur such a band the
+good people do have when they give a dance.
+
+"So she grew an' the quane said she should have a husband among the
+fairies, but she fell in love wid an owld Leprechawn, an' the quane, to
+sarcumvint her, let her walk on the shore o' the lake where she met Darby
+O'Hoolighan an' loved him an' married him be the quane's consint. The
+quane towld her to tell him if he shtruck her three blows widout a razon,
+she'd lave him an' come back to the fairies. The quane gev her a power av
+riches, shape an' pigs widout number an' more oxen than ye cud count in a
+week. So she an' Darby lived together as happy as two doves, an' she
+hadn't as much care as a blind piper's dog, morebetoken, they had two
+boys, good lookin' like their mother an' shtrong as their father.
+
+                  [Illustration: Eva calling the Cattle]
+
+"Wan day, afther they'd been marred siventeen years, she an' Darby were
+goin' to a weddin', an' she was shlow, so Darby towld her fur to hurry an'
+gev her a slap on the shouldher wid the palm av his hand, so she begun to
+cry. He axed her phat ailed her an' she towld him he'd shtruck her the
+first av the three blows. So he was mighty sorry an' said he'd be careful,
+but it wasn't more than a year afther, when he was taichin' wan o' the
+boys to use a shtick, that she got behind him an' got hit wid the
+shillaly. That was the second blow, an' made her lose her timper, an' they
+had a rale quarl. So he got mad, sayin' that nayther o' thim blows ought
+to be counted, bein' they both come be accident. So he flung the shtick
+agin the wall, 'Divil take the shtick,' says he, an' went out quick, an'
+the shtick fell back from the wall an' hit her an the head. 'That's the
+third,' says she, an' she kissed her sons an' walked out. Thin she called
+the cows in the field an' they left grazin' an' folly'd her; she called
+the oxen in the shtalls an' they quit atin' an' come out; an' she shpoke
+to the calf that was hangin' in the yard, that they'd killed that mornin'
+an' it got down an' come along. The lamb that was killed the day afore, it
+come; an' the pigs that were salted an' thim hangin' up to dhry, they
+come, all afther her in a shtring. Thin she called to her things in the
+house, an' the chairs walked out, an' the tables, an' the chist av
+drawers, an' the boxes, all o' thim put out legs like bastes an' come
+along, wid the pots an' pans, an' gridiron, an' buckets, an' noggins, an'
+kish, lavin' the house as bare as a 'victed tinant's, an' all afther her
+to the lake, where they wint undher an' disappared, an' haven't been seen
+be man or mortial to this blessed day.
+
+"Now, there's thim that says the shtory aint thrue, fur, says they, how
+'ud a woman do such a thrick as go aff that a way an' take ivery thing she
+had, just bekase av her husband hittin' her be accident thim three times.
+But thim that says it forgits that she was a young wan, aven if she did
+have thim boys I was afther tellin' ye av, an' faith, it's no lie I'm
+sayin', that it's not in the power av the angels o' God to be knowin' phat
+a young wan 'ull be doin'. Afther they get owld, an' do be losin' their
+taythe, an' their beauty goes, thin they're sober an' get over thim
+notions; but it takes a dale av time to make an owld wan out av a young
+wan.
+
+"But she didn't forget the boys she'd left, an' wanst in a while she'd
+come to the aidge av the lake whin they were clost be the bank an' spake
+wid thim, fur aven, if she was half a fairy, she'd the mother's heart that
+the good God put in her bosom; an' wan time they seen her wid a little
+attomy av a man alang wid her, that was a Leprechawn, as they knewn be the
+look av him, an' that makes me belave that the rale rayzon av her lavin'
+her husband was to get back to the owld Leprechawn she was in love wid
+afore she was marr'd to Darby O'Hoolighan."
+
+
+
+
+
+THE BANSHEE.
+
+
+                [Illustration: Initial: "The Banshee"]
+
+Although the Irish have the reputation of being grossly superstitious,
+they are not a whit more so than the peasantry of England, France, or
+Germany, nor scarcely as much addicted to superstitious beliefs and
+fancies as the lower class of Scottish Highlanders. The Irish imagination
+is, however, so lively as to endow the legends of the Emerald Isle with an
+individuality not possessed by those of most other nations, while the
+Irish command of language presents the creatures of Hibernian fancy in a
+garb so vividly real and yet so fantastically original as to make an
+impression sometimes exceedingly startling.
+
+Of the creations of the Irish imagination, some are humorous, some
+grotesque, and some awe-inspiring even to sublimity, and chief among the
+last class is "the weird-wailing Banshee, that sings by night her mournful
+cry," giving notice to the family she attends that one of its members is
+soon to be called to the spirit-world. The name of this dreaded attendant
+is variously pronounced, as Banshee, Banshi, and Benshee, being translated
+by different scholars, the Female Fairy, the Woman of Peace, the Lady of
+Death, the Angel of Death, the White Lady of Sorrow, the Nymph of the Air,
+and the Spirit of the Air. The Banshee is quite distinct from the Fearshee
+or Shifra, the Man of Peace, the latter bringing good tidings and singing
+a joyful lay near the house when unexpected good fortune is to befall any
+or all its inmates. The Banshee is really a disembodied soul, that of one
+who, in life, was strongly attached to the family, or who had good reason
+to hate all its members. Thus, in different instances, the Banshee's song
+may be inspired by opposite motives. When the Banshee loves those whom she
+calls, the song is a low, soft chant, giving notice, indeed, of the close
+proximity of the angel of death, but with a tenderness of tone that
+reassures the one destined to die and comforts the survivors; rather a
+welcome than a warning, and having in its tones a thrill of exultation, as
+though the messenger spirit were bringing glad tidings to him summoned to
+join the waiting throng of his ancestors. If, during her lifetime, the
+Banshee was an enemy of the family, the cry is the scream of a fiend,
+howling with demoniac delight over the coming death-agony of another of
+her foes.
+
+                [Illustration: Music: Song of the Banshee]
+
+In some parts of Ireland there exists a belief that the spirits of the
+dead are not taken from earth, nor do they lose all their former interest
+in earthly affairs, but enjoy the happiness of the saved, or suffer the
+punishment imposed for their sins, in the neighborhood of the scenes among
+which they lived while clothed in flesh and blood. At particular crises in
+the affairs of mortals, these disenthralled spirits sometimes display joy
+or grief in such a manner as to attract the attention of living men and
+women. At weddings they are frequently unseen guests; at funerals they are
+always present; and sometimes, at both weddings and funerals, their
+presence is recognized by aerial voices or mysterious music known to be of
+unearthly origin. The spirits of the good wander with the living as
+guardian angels, but the spirits of the bad are restrained in their
+action, and compelled to do penance at or near the places where their
+crimes were committed. Some are chained at the bottoms of the lakes,
+others buried under ground, others confined in mountain gorges; some hang
+on the sides of precipices, others are transfixed on the tree-tops, while
+others haunt the homes of their ancestors, all waiting till the penance
+has been endured and the hour of release arrives. The Castle of
+Dunseverick, in Antrim, is believed to be still inhabited by the spirit of
+a chief, who there atones for a horrid crime, while the castles of
+Dunluce, of Magrath, and many others are similarly peopled by the wicked
+dead. In the Abbey of Clare, the ghost of a sinful abbot walks and will
+continue to do so until his sin has been atoned for by the prayers he
+unceasingly mutters in his tireless march up and down the aisles of the
+ruined nave.
+
+The Banshee is of the spirits who look with interested eyes on earthly
+doings; and, deeply attached to the old families, or, on the contrary,
+regarding all their members with a hatred beyond that known to mortals,
+lingers about their dwellings to soften or to aggravate the sorrow of the
+approaching death. The Banshee attends only the old families, and though
+their descendants, through misfortune, may be brought down from high
+estate to the ranks of peasant-tenants, she never leaves nor forgets them
+till the last member has been gathered to his fathers in the churchyard.
+The MacCarthys, Magraths, O'Neills, O'Rileys, O'Sullivans, O'Reardons,
+O'Flahertys, and almost all other old families of Ireland, have Banshees,
+though many representatives of these names are in abject poverty.
+
+The song of the Banshee is commonly heard a day or two before the death of
+which it gives notice, though instances are cited of the song at the
+beginning of a course of conduct or line of undertaking that resulted
+fatally. Thus, in Kerry, a young girl engaged herself to a youth, and at
+the moment her promise of marriage was given, both heard the low, sad wail
+above their heads. The young man deserted her, she died of a broken heart,
+and the night before her death, the Banshee's song, loud and clear, was
+heard outside the window of her mother's cottage. One of the O'Flahertys,
+of Galway, marched out of his castle with his men on a foray, and, as his
+troops filed through the gateway, the Banshee was heard high above the
+towers of the fortress. The next night she sang again, and was heard no
+more for a month, when his wife heard the wail under her window, and on
+the following day his followers brought back his corpse. One of the
+O'Neills of Shane Castle, in Antrim, heard the Banshee as he started on a
+journey before daybreak, and was accidentally killed some time after, but
+while on the same journey.
+
+                  [Illustration: The "Hateful Banshee"]
+
+The wail most frequently comes at night, although cases are cited of
+Banshees singing during the daytime, and the song is often inaudible to
+all save the one for whom the warning is intended. This, however, is not
+general, the death notice being for the family rather than for the doomed
+individual. The spirit is generally alone, though rarely several are heard
+singing in chorus. A lady of the O'Flaherty family, greatly beloved for
+her social qualities, benevolence, and piety, was, some years ago, taken
+ill at the family mansion near Galway, though no uneasiness was felt on
+her account, as her ailment seemed nothing more than a slight cold. After
+she had remained in-doors for a day or two several of her acquaintances
+came to her room to enliven her imprisonment, and while the little party
+were merrily chatting, strange sounds were heard, and all trembled and
+turned pale as they recognized the singing of a chorus of Banshees. The
+lady's ailment developed into pleurisy, and she died in a few days, the
+chorus being again heard in a sweet, plaintive requiem as the spirit was
+leaving her body. The honor of being warned by more than one Banshee is,
+however, very great, and comes only to the purest of the pure.
+
+The "hateful Banshee" is much dreaded by members of a family against which
+she has enmity. A noble Irish family, whose name is still familiar in
+Mayo, is attended by a Banshee of this description. This Banshee is the
+spirit of a young girl deceived and afterwards murdered by a former head
+of the family. With her dying breath she cursed her murderer, and promised
+she would attend him and his forever. Many years passed, the chieftain
+reformed his ways, and his youthful crime was almost forgotten even by
+himself, when, one night, he and his family were seated by the fire, and
+suddenly the most horrid shrieks were heard outside the castle walls. All
+ran out, but saw nothing. During the night the screams continued as though
+the castle were besieged by demons, and the unhappy man recognized, in the
+cry of the Banshee, the voice of the young girl he had murdered. The next
+night he was assassinated by one of his followers, when again the wild,
+unearthly screams of the spirit were heard, exulting over his fate. Since
+that night, the "hateful Banshee" has never failed to notify the family,
+with shrill cries of revengeful gladness, when the time of one of their
+number had arrived.
+
+                  [Illustration: The "Friendly Banshee"]
+
+Banshees are not often seen, but those that have made themselves visible
+differ as much in personal appearance as in the character of their cries.
+The "friendly Banshee" is a young and beautiful female spirit, with pale
+face, regular, well-formed features, hair sometimes coal-black, sometimes
+golden; eyes blue, brown, or black. Her long, white drapery falls below
+her feet as she floats in the air, chanting her weird warning, lifting her
+hands as if in pitying tenderness bestowing a benediction on the soul she
+summons to the invisible world. The "hateful Banshee" is a horrible hag,
+with angry, distorted features; maledictions are written in every line of
+her wrinkled face, and her outstretched arms call down curses on the
+doomed member of the hated race. Though generally the only intimation of
+the presence of the Banshee is her cry, a notable instance of the contrary
+exists in the family of the O'Reardons, to the doomed member of which the
+Banshee always appears in the shape of an exceedingly beautiful woman, who
+sings a song so sweetly solemn as to reconcile him to his approaching
+fate.
+
+The prophetic spirit does not follow members of a family who go to a
+foreign land, but should death overtake them abroad, she gives notice of
+the misfortune to those at home. When the Duke of Wellington died, the
+Banshee was heard wailing round the house of his ancestors, and during the
+Napoleonic campaigns, she frequently notified Irish families of the death
+in battle of Irish officers and soldiers. The night before the battle of
+the Boyne several Banshees were heard singing in the air over the Irish
+camp, the truth of their prophecy being verified by the death-roll of the
+next day.
+
+How the Banshee is able to obtain early and accurate information from
+foreign parts of the death in battle of Irish soldiers is yet undecided in
+Hibernian mystical circles. Some believe that there are, in addition to
+the two kinds already mentioned, "silent Banshees," who act as attendants
+to the members of old families, one to each member; that these silent
+spirits follow and observe, bringing back intelligence to the family
+Banshee at home, who then, at the proper seasons, sings her dolorous
+strain. A partial confirmation of this theory is seen in the fact that the
+Banshee has given notice at the family seat in Ireland of deaths in
+battles fought in every part of the world. From North America, the West
+Indies, Africa, Australia, India, China; from every point to which Irish
+regiments have followed the roll of the British drums, news of the
+prospective shedding of Irish blood has been brought home, and the
+slaughter preceded by a Banshee wail outside the ancestral windows. But it
+is due to the reader to state, that this silent Banshee theory is by no
+means well or generally received, the burden of evidence going to show
+that there are only two kinds of Banshees, and that, in a supernatural
+way, they know the immediate future of those in whom they are interested,
+not being obliged to leave Ireland for the purpose of obtaining their
+information.
+
+Such is the wild Banshee, once to be heard in every part of Ireland, and
+formerly believed in so devoutly that to express a doubt of her existence
+was little less than blasphemy. Now, however, as she attends only the old
+families and does not change to the new, with the disappearance of many
+noble Irish names during the last half century have gone also their
+Banshees, until in only a few retired districts of the west coast is the
+dreaded spirit still found, while in most parts of the island she has
+become only a superstition, and from the majesty of a death-boding angel,
+is rapidly sinking to a level with the Fairy, the Leprechawn and the
+Pooka; the subject for tales to amuse the idle and terrify the young.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE ROUND TOWERS.
+
+
+             [Illustration: Initial: "The Round Towers"]
+
+Among the ruins spread everywhere over the island, relics of prehistoric
+Ireland are common, but wonderful as are many of these monumental remains
+of a people as mysterious as their own structures, none are more
+remarkable than the round towers, found in almost every locality of note
+either for its history or antiquities. The number of these towers was
+formerly very great, but from the ravages of time, the convenience of the
+structures as quarries of ready hewn stone, and intentional destruction by
+intolerant or thoughtless persons, they have gradually disappeared, until,
+at present, only eighty-three remain, of which seventeen are nearly
+perfect, the remainder being in a more or less advanced stage of
+dilapidation.
+
+The round towers vary in height, those remaining perfect or nearly so
+being from seventy to two hundred feet, and from eighty to thirty feet in
+diameter at the base. The entrance is twelve to eighteen feet from the
+ground, the tower being divided into stories about ten feet high, each
+story lighted by a single window, the highest compartment having
+invariably four lancet windows opening to the cardinal points of the
+compass. The roof is conical, made of overlapping stone slabs, and a
+circle of grotesquely carved heads and zigzag ornamentation is found
+beneath the projecting cornice. The masonry is of hewn stone, but not the
+least regularity is observable in the size or shape of the blocks, some
+being very large, others small, and every figure known to the geometrician
+can be found in the stones of a single tower.
+
+All towers still standing occupy sites noted as historical, and evidence,
+sufficient to warrant the belief, can be adduced to show that almost every
+historic spot on Irish soil once boasted one or more of these interesting
+structures. The existing towers are generally found close by the ruins of
+churches, abbeys, or other ecclesiastical buildings, and the effect on the
+landscape of the masses of ruins, surmounted by a single tall shaft, is
+often picturesque in the extreme. The proximity of the tower to the church
+is so common as to lead writers on Irish antiquities to conjecture that
+the former was constructed by the monks who built the church; those
+advocating the Christian origin of the round tower taking the ground that
+it was built, either as a place of safe-keeping for valuable property, as
+a belfry for the church, or for the purpose of providing cells for
+hermits.
+
+No one of these suppositions is tenable. In the troublous times of
+Ireland, and, unhappily, it has had scarcely any other kind, the
+monasteries and ecclesiastical buildings of every description were
+generally spared, even by the most ruthless marauders; and, had this not
+been the case, those possessing sufficient valuable property to attract
+the cupidity of the lawless were far more likely to provide an
+inconspicuous hiding place for their wealth than to advertise its
+possession by erecting a tower which, from every direction, was invariably
+the most conspicuous feature of the landscape. That the towers were not
+intended for belfries is evident from the fact that, in nearly every case,
+the churches close by are provided with bell-towers forming a part of the
+sacred edifice, which would not be the case if the round towers had been
+designed for the purpose of supporting bells. That they were not built for
+hermit-cells is apparent from the fact that hermit-caves and cells are
+abundant in Ireland, and, almost without exception, in secluded spots. No
+doubt, from time to time, some of the round towers were adapted to each of
+these uses, but, in every case, convenience was the motive, the monks and
+church-builders altering the existing structure to meet a pressing
+necessity. In fact, there is excellent reason for believing that the round
+towers were not built by the monks at all, the monastic writers being very
+fond of recording, with great particularity, what they built and how they
+built it, and in no passage do they mention the construction of a round
+tower. Whenever allusion is made to these structures, their existence is
+taken for granted, and several church historians who mention the erection
+of churches at the foot of a round tower demonstrate that this peculiar
+edifice antedates the introduction of Christianity into Ireland.
+
+The round towers are indisputably of pagan origin, and of antiquity so
+great as to precede written history. There is no doubt that the early
+Irish were sun and fire worshippers, and many excellent reasons may be
+given for the belief that the round towers were built by the Druids for
+purposes of religion.
+
+Every tower has an extensive view to the East, so as to command an early
+sight of the rising sun, the dawn being the favorite hour for celebrating
+sun-worship. Every tower contains, at its base, so extraordinary a
+quantity of ashes and embers as to compel the conviction that, in each, a
+sacred or perpetual fire was kept burning. In every locality where a round
+tower stands, there linger among the peasantry traditions pointing to a
+use sacred but not Christian. Perhaps the most significant indication of
+their former character as places sacred to sun and fire-worship is found
+in the names by which, to the present day, they are known among the common
+people. The generic Irish name for the round tower is Colcagh, fire-God;
+but the proper names designating particular towers are still more
+characteristic. Turaghan, the Tower of Fire; Aidhne, the Circle of Fire;
+Aghadoe, the Field of Fire; Teghadoe, the Fire House; Arddoe, the Height
+of Fire; Kennegh, the Chief Fire; Lusk, the Flame; Fertagh, the Burial
+Fire Tower; Fertagh na Guara, the Burial Fire Tower of the Fire
+Worshippers; Gall-Ti-mor, the Flame of the Great Circle; Gall-Baal, the
+Flame of the Community; Baal-Tinne, the Fire of the Community, and many
+similar names, retain the memory and worship of the Druids when written
+records are silent or wanting.
+
+In addition to the significance contained in the names of the towers, the
+hills, mountains, or islands on which they are situated have, very
+frequently, designations conveying an allusion, either to the circle, a
+favorite and sacred figure in Druidical holy places, or to the sun or fire
+worship. Another curious circumstance, still further identifying the round
+tower with the rites of sun worship, is found in the fact that wherever
+this form of religion has prevailed, it has been accompanied by well or
+spring worship, and, generally, by the veneration of the ox as a sacred
+animal. Most of the Irish round towers have near them springs or wells
+still regarded as holy, and concerning which many tales of miraculous
+cures are told, while in not a few instances there yet linger in the same
+neighborhoods legends of sacred cows, usually the property of some famous
+local saint or hero.
+
+The round towers of Ireland are, in fact, a portion of a vast system of
+towers of identical construction, and by following the geographical course
+of these structures, the march of fire worship from the East may be
+determined with some accuracy. Pass from Ireland to Brittany, and there,
+in the mountainous or hilly districts, several towers are found exactly
+like those of Ireland. In the north of Spain several remain; in Portugal,
+one; in the south of Spain they are numerous. Opposite the Spanish coast,
+in the north of Africa, there are also many, being found in various places
+in Morocco, Algeria, Tunis, and Tripoli. In Sardinia, several hundred are
+still standing; and written testimony to the purpose for which they were
+erected is abundant among the Sardinian records. In Minorca, among many
+others, is the famous Tower of Allaior. The mountain districts of south
+Italy have numbers of them, and they are also found on several hills in
+Sicily. Malta has the Giant's Tower, in every particular of appearance and
+construction identical with the Tower of Cashel in Ireland. Cyprus has
+them, and they still remain in Candia and on the coast of Asia Minor. In
+Palestine none have yet been found, or at least have not been recorded by
+travellers or surveyors; a fact that may, perhaps, be fully accounted for
+by the zeal of the Hebrews in destroying every vestige of Canaanitish
+idolatry; but, with some probability, it is conjectured that the "high
+places" broken down may have been towers of the sun, for the Canaanites
+were fire worshippers, and the name Baal is found alike in Palestine and
+Ireland.
+
+In Syria, north of Palestine, they begin again; are found in Armenia, and
+in the Caucasus, so numerously as to crown almost every hill-top. East of
+the Caspian Sea they abound, and towards the centre of Asia as far as
+records of exploration and travel present reliable accounts of the
+country. Returning to the shores of the Mediterranean, their existence on
+the northern coast of Africa has been mentioned. In Arabia and on the
+Egyptian shore of the Red Sea, they stand in considerable numbers, are
+found in Persia, Afghanistan, Beloochistan, India, Ceylon, and Sumatra, in
+some places being still used, it is said, for fire worship.
+
+Throughout this vast extent of territory there is no material difference
+in the shape, appearance, or construction of the round tower. In Sumatra
+and Java, as in Ireland, the door is elevated, the building divided into
+stories; the walls are constructed of many sided hewn stones, the upper
+story is lighted by four windows looking to the cardinal points, the
+cornice has the same kind of zigzag ornamentation, and the roof is
+constructed in the same manner, of overlapping stones. Even the names are
+nearly the same, for in India and Ireland these buildings are Fire-Towers,
+Fire-Circles, or Sun-Houses.
+
+Another bit of circumstantial evidence going to prove that the round
+towers of Ireland were erected by a people having the same religion and
+similar religious observances as the natives of India is seen in the
+legends concerning the Indian towers. In India, the local traditions tell
+how each of these towers was built in one night by some notable character
+who was afterwards buried in it. In Ireland, the same legend is found; to
+the present day, the peasants of the neighborhood telling with gusto the
+story of the tower being first seen in the early morning, rising toward
+the sky on a spot where, the evening before, no preparations for building
+had been visible.
+
+The Tower Tulloherin, for instance, was built in one night by a monk who
+came to the neighborhood as a missionary. Finding the people inhospitable,
+and unable to obtain lodging for the night, he determined to remain,
+believing there could not be found in Ireland a locality more in need of
+missionary work. So, on the evening of his arrival, he began to build, and
+by morning the tower was finished, and he took up his abode in it,
+preaching from its entrance to the crowds attracted by the fame of the
+miracle. The story of the Tower of Aghagower is similar, save in one
+particular, the saint in this case being aided by angels. Kilmackduagh was
+built in one night by angels without human assistance, the work being done
+at the solicitation of a saint who watched and prayed while the angels
+toiled.
+
+Ballygaddy has a history somewhat less miraculous, the local peasant
+historian attributing its origin to a "giont" of the neighborhood. Having
+received a belligerent message from another "giont," he took a stand on
+Ballygaddy hill to watch for the coming of his antagonist, proposing, as
+the humble chronicler stated, "to bate the head aff the braggin' vagabone
+if he said as much as Boo." For seven days and nights he stood upon the
+hill, and at the end of that time, as may readily be believed, "his legs
+wor that tired he thought they'd dhrop aff him." To relieve those valuable
+members he put up the tower as a support to lean on. The bellicose
+gigantic party who proposed the encounter finally came to time, and lovers
+of antiquities will be glad to learn that the tower-building giant "didn't
+lave a whole bone in the blaggârd's ugly carkidge." After the battle, the
+victor "shtarted for to kick the tower down," but, upon second thought,
+concluded to put the roof on it and "lave it for a wondher to thim little
+mortials that come afther him," for which consideration all honor to his
+memory.
+
+The Tower Ardpatrick was, according to tradition, built under the auspices
+of Ireland's great saint, while the high tower on the Rock of Cashel is
+attributed, by the same authority, to Cormac Macarthy, king and archbishop
+of Cashel, who, being once engaged in hostilities with a neighboring
+potentate, needed a watch-tower, so summoned all his people, built the
+tower in one night, and, at sunrise, was able by its help to ascertain the
+location of the opposing army and so give it an overwhelming defeat. The
+Glendalough Tower was built by a demon at the command of Saint Kevin. This
+saint had conspicuously routed Satan on a previous occasion; so the
+arch-fiend and all the well-informed of his subjects kept at a safe
+distance from Glendalough, not caring to take any risks with so doughty a
+spiritual champion as Saint Kevin had proved himself to be in more than
+one encounter.
+
+"But there was wan snakin' vagabone av a divil that come from furrin parts
+an' hadn't heard the news about the saint, and the blessed saint caught
+him wan avenin' an' set him to work to build that tower. So the black
+rogue wint at it as hard as he knew how, an' was workin' away wid all the
+hands he had, as busy as a barmaid at a fair, thinkin' that afore sunrise
+he'd have it so high it 'ud fall down be itself an' do the blessed saint
+not a ha'porth av good. But afther batin' owld Satan himself, Saint Kevin
+wasn't to be deludhered be wan av his undershtrappers, an' was watchin'
+wid his two eyes every minnit o' the time, so whin the divil had the tower
+high enough, he threw his bishop's cap at it, an' it become shtone an'
+made the roof, so the omadhawn divil was baten at his own game."
+
+             [Illustration: "Crackin' their Haythen Shkulls"]
+
+The round tower is not without a touch of romance, one of the most notable
+structures, Monaster-Boice, having been built by a woman under peculiar
+circumstances. According to the legend, she was young, beautiful, and
+good, but though she ought to have been happy also, she was not, being
+persecuted by the attentions of a suitor chieftain, whose reputation must
+have been far from irreproachable, since he was characterized by the
+narrator of the story either as an "outprobrious ruffin," or "a
+sootherin', deludherin', murtherin' villin." Loving another chief who was
+a "gintleman entirely," and determined to escape from the obnoxious
+attentions of the "ruffin" already mentioned, the lady, having learned
+that her disagreeable suitor had resolved to carry her off, employed two
+men to aid her the night before the proposed abduction, and, before
+morning, built the tower and took up her abode in the topmost chamber. In
+due season the chieftain came "wid a gang av thaves," but, disappointed in
+his "endayvor fur to stale away her varchew," besieged the tower. Having
+taken the precaution to provide a good supply of heavy stones, the lady
+pelted her persecutors vigorously, "crackin' their haythen shkulls the
+same as they wor egg-shells." Her heroism was rewarded by her deliverance,
+for her lover, hearing of her desperate situation, came to her relief and
+attacked the besiegers, so that "wid the lady flingin' shtones at the
+front o' them, an' the other fellys beltin' 'em behind, they got
+disconsarted as not knowin' phat to do next, an' so they up's an' runs
+like as tin thousand divils wor parshooin' afther thim. So she was saved
+an' brought down, an' was married to the boy av her heart the next Sunday,
+Glory be to God, an' that's the way the tower come to be built, an' shows
+that thim that thries to marry a lady agin her will always comes to grief,
+fur av she cant bate thim wid her tongue she can some other way, fur a
+woman can always get phat she's afther, an' bad luck to the lie that's in
+that."
+
+
+
+
+
+THE POLICE.
+
+
+                [Illustration: Initial: "The Police"]
+
+During the last few years, the most obviously conspicuous individual in
+Ireland is the policeman. Go where you will, if the policeman is not there
+before you, the reason is probably to be found in the fact that he has
+just been there and will likely return before you leave. In Dublin, Cork,
+Limerick, Athlone, Belfast, and other large cities and towns, the police
+are seen at every corner, singly, in pairs, and in groups. Fresh-looking
+police are going on duty; tired-out police are going home; clean,
+well-brushed police are starting to the country on horseback, having heard
+reports of rural disturbance; muddy police are coming in on jaunting-cars,
+with prisoners from the nearest eviction. Everywhere you meet them; young
+policemen, with fresh, rosy complexions; middle-aged policemen, with stern
+faces, bearing strong evidence of Irish pugilistic talent; old policemen,
+with deeply scarred and weather-beaten countenances, looking forward to
+speedy retirement and a moderate pension; they are in the city, in the
+village, on the high road, in the by-way, and on the mountain paths. At
+every railroad station they are to be seen in pairs, observing those who
+arrive and depart, and noting all that may seem suspicious in the
+appearance and actions of travellers.
+
+As long as a stranger remains on the common, well-frequented tourist
+routes he escapes with a sharp glance of inspection, but let him leave the
+courses usually followed by travellers, or go into parts of the country
+not often visited by strangers, and he at once becomes an object of
+intense suspicion. You are driving along a retired country road; at the
+turn of the hill a policeman heaves in sight. He speaks pleasantly, and if
+nothing arouses his suspicion, he will pass on and you see him no more;
+but if the slightest distrust of you or your business finds lodgment in
+his mind, he marks you as a possible victim. He temporarily vanishes; look
+round as you proceed on your journey, and you may, by chance, catch a
+glimpse of him a mile or two away, peeping over a wall after you, but in
+the next village, where you stop for the night, he reappears, and the
+local policemen, after his coming, will be sure to observe you with some
+degree of attention. Leave your baggage in the public room of the inn and
+step out on the street. In comes the policeman, ascertains your name,
+takes a mental inventory of your effects, makes a note of the railway and
+hotel labels on your trunks, and goes away to report. A sharp detective is
+the policeman even in the country districts. He knows articles of American
+manufacture at a glance, and needs only to see your satchel to tell
+whether it came from America or was made in England. Talk with him, and he
+will chat cordially about the weather, the crops, the state of the
+markets, but all the time he is trying to make out who you are and what is
+your business. His eyes ramble from your hat to your shoes, and by the
+time the conversation is ended, he has prepared for the "sargeant" a
+report of your personal appearance and apparel. "Hat, English; coat,
+London-made; trousers, doubtful; shoes, American; party evidently an Irish
+Yankee, who might as well be looked after."
+
+The Irish policeman, or "consthable," as he is familiarly known on his
+native sod, is the son of a peasant. Finding life as a laborer or tenant
+in either case intolerable, he debated in his own mind the question
+whether he should emigrate to America, enlist in the British army, or
+apply for a place on the constabulary. The first step was, to him, the
+most acceptable, but he lacked the money to go; of the two courses left
+open, enlistment in the army was the more pleasant, since in Ireland the
+constabulary are almost entirely cut off from association with the people
+in a social or friendly way, a general belief prevailing that the Irishman
+who enters the police has deserted the cause of his country and entered
+the service of her deadliest foe. So the police are avoided by their
+former companions, shunned by old friends, and, lastly, what is of some
+consequence to a genuine Irishman, are given the cold shoulder by the
+ladies. To be sure, the Irishman who enlists in the British army would be
+treated in the same way at his old home, but as he usually leaves never to
+return, the case is materially different. Chance, or the obligation of
+supporting aged parents or a helpless family of young brothers and
+sisters, usually determines the question, and the young Irishman enters
+the constabulary, thenceforth to be a social leper, for the constable is
+hated by his countrymen with a hatred that knows no bounds.
+
+From the day he puts on his neat blue uniform and saucer-like cap, the
+constable, in the troubled west coast counties, carries his life in his
+hand. Every hedge he scrutinizes with a careful eye; behind it may lurk an
+assassin. Every division wall is watched for suspicious indications, his
+alertness being quickened by the knowledge that he is guarding his own
+life. He is compelled to undertake duties obnoxious to his own feelings
+and sense of justice, and to risk life and limb to carry out repugnant
+orders. A bad year comes, a tenant is in arrears and cannot pay rent; the
+agent determines on an eviction and sends for the police. The constables
+arrive in force, but the tenant has anticipated them and collected a crowd
+of friends. The hut is closed and barred, while inside are half a score of
+men and women, determined to resist as long as resistance is of any avail.
+
+                [Illustration: The Police and the Tenants]
+
+As soon as the police appear on the scene, a babel of Irish voices ensues
+and fearful curses and imprecations are hurled at all concerned in the
+eviction, succeeded by showers of stones from enthusiastic outside
+supporters of the cabin's defenders. The constables draw their clubs and
+make a rush, striking right and left at the heads of the crowd. A
+desperate battle ensues, in which the police are generally victorious,
+driving the rabble to a safe distance; then, leaving a portion of the
+force to keep them away, the remainder return to effect an entrance to the
+hut. A beam, handled by several pairs of strong arms, speedily demolishes
+the miserable pretence of a door, then in go the police, to be met with
+fists, clubs, stones, showers of boiling water, and other effective and
+offensive means of defence. After a stubborn contest the cabin is finally
+cleared; the furniture, if there be any, is set out in the road, the
+thatched roof torn off and scattered on the ground, the walls levelled,
+and the police, battered with sticks and stones, scalded, burned, return
+to headquarters with their prisoners. Not infrequently a policeman is
+killed on one of these evictionary expeditions, the defence of his slayers
+being generally grounded on the statement made in court in one instance of
+this kind near Limerick. "We niver intinded fur to kill him at all, but
+his shkull was too thin entirely for a consthable, an' broke wid the
+batin' he was afther gettin'."
+
+Firearms are not often used in these encounters between the police and the
+populace, for such battles always take place in daylight, and although,
+when an eviction promises to be of more than usual danger, the police
+carry rifles, strict orders are given not to use them save in dire
+extremity, and a policeman will be beaten almost to death without
+resorting to the use of his gun. On ordinary day-duty the police carry
+only a short club or revolver, hidden under the coat; but at night, the
+country constables are armed with rifle and bayonet, and patrol the roads
+in pairs, one walking on each side and as close as possible to the hedge
+or wall.
+
+But in spite of the extraordinary difficulties and unceasing dangers of
+his work the constable does his duty with scrupulous exactness, and
+instances of treachery to the government among the Irish constabulary are
+extremely rare. Indeed, service in the constabulary is much sought for,
+and there are always more applicants than vacancies. The physical standard
+is so high that the police are the picked men of the country, while the
+average grade of intelligence among them is better than among the
+peasantry from whose ranks they have come.
+
+Ready as they are to go cheerfully on any service, however laborious or
+perilous, there is one task which the constabulary of the west coast hold
+in mortal detestation, and that is, an expedition into the mountains to
+seize illicit stills and arrest distillers of poteen. Such an enterprise
+means days and nights of toilsome climbing, watching, waiting, and spying;
+often without result, and generally with a strong probability that when
+the spot where the still has been is surrounded, the police thinking they
+have the law breakers in a trap, the latter take the alarm, escape by some
+unknown path, leaving nothing but "the pot and the smell" as reminiscences
+of their presence and employment. The disappointing nature of the duty is
+thus one good reason for the dislike felt for it by the constables, but
+another is found in the unusual degree of peril attending it, for in the
+mountains of Donegal, Mayo, Galway, Clare, and Kerry, the distillers
+generally own firearms, know how to use them, and feel no more compunction
+for shooting a policeman than for killing a dog. The extremely rugged
+character of the Mayo mountains, in particular, offers many opportunities
+for the outlaws to practise their craft in safety and secrecy, for, the
+whole neighborhood being on the lookout for the enemy, there are always
+friends to give the alarm. To hide the still in the ground or in a
+convenient cave is the work of very few minutes, after which the
+distillers are quite at leisure and turn their attention to shooting at
+the police, a job attended with so little risk to themselves and so much
+discomfort to the constables that the latter frequently give up the chase
+on very slight provocation.
+
+Near Lake Derryclare, in the Connemara district of Galway, and almost
+under the shadow of the Twelve Pins, there stands by the wayside a small
+rude monument of uncut stones, a mere heap, surmounted by a rough wooden
+cross. Such stone heaps as this are common on the west coast, and
+originate in the custom of making a family memorial, each member of the
+family, or, in some cases, each friend attending the funeral, contributing
+a stone to the rude monument. In some neighborhoods, every relative and
+friend casts a stone on the common pile whenever he passes the spot, so
+the heap is constantly growing. This particular monument in Connemara does
+not differ in any important respect from many others, but before it, in
+the summer of 1886, there knelt, all day long, an old peasant woman. Every
+morning she came from a hut in the glen near by and spent every hour of
+daylight in prayer before the wooden cross. It seemed to matter little to
+her whether it rained or the sun shone; in sunshine, the hood of her
+tattered cloak was thrown back and her white hair exposed, while the rain
+compelled her to draw the hood forward, but rain or shine she was always
+there, her lips silently moving as the beads slipped through her withered
+fingers, nor could any question divert her attention from her devotions.
+She never looked up, never took the slightest notice of remarks addressed
+to her, nor was she ever heard to speak aloud. Once a week provisions were
+sent to her house from the nearest police station; they were left within,
+and those who brought them went their way, for she gave them no word of
+thanks, no look of gratitude; nor, for many years, had the constables sent
+with the allowance made her by the government ventured to compel her to
+speak to them.
+
+Her story was told by a Sergeant of Police, and formed a painful
+illustration of the poteen trade in the mountains. In the year 1850, while
+the country was still suffering from the effects of the "starving time,"
+she lived with her husband, Michael O'Malley, and four sons, on a little
+farm near Lake Derryclare. Year after year had the crops failed, but the
+little family held together, faring, or rather starving, alike. In the
+year mentioned, although the country in general was beginning to recover
+from the famine, this part of Connemara was still stricken, and the crop
+seemed likely again to fail. Starvation stared the hapless family in the
+face. The boys were well grown lads, accustomed to the hard life of
+peasants, and willing to work if any could be found. All four left home,
+the eldest going to Galway, the other three to the sea-shore, where they
+found temporary employment in the fisheries. While so engaged, they
+learned the secrets of the illicit distiller, and having, in course of
+time, managed to procure a small still, they returned home with it, and as
+the cabin was in a secluded quarter of a little frequented district, they
+persuaded the old man to engage in the enterprise with them. The risk of
+detection appeared so small, especially when compared with the profits,
+that against the prayers and entreaties of the woman, the still was set up
+in a retired spot near by and the manufacture of the poteen begun in as
+large quantities as their limited resources would allow. A number of years
+passed, and, as their product found a ready sale in the neighborhood, the
+O'Malleys prospered as they had never done before, the boys married, and
+families grew around them.
+
+The eldest brother, John O'Malley, having gone to Galway, succeeded, by
+what he considered a great stroke of good fortune, in obtaining a place on
+the constabulary. The family at home knew nothing of him, nor had he
+communicated with them, for directly after his enlistment he was sent to
+the County Wexford on the opposite side of the island, and completely lost
+sight of his old home. Proving intelligent and capable, he was promoted,
+made a sergeant, and ordered to the County Galway. Immediately upon his
+arrival at his new post, a small village in Connemara, intelligence was
+brought of illicit distilling near the Twelve Pins, and O'Malley was
+ordered to proceed with a strong party of police to seize the still, and,
+if possible, arrest the criminals. The names of the offenders were not
+given, but the location of the glen where operations were carried on was
+described with such exactness that O'Malley, who knew every foot of ground
+in the vicinity, laid such plans as to render escape by the distillers a
+practical impossibility.  Before dark one evening a party of twelve
+mounted constables armed with rifles started from Maume, at the head of
+Lough Corrib, travelled all night, and by morning Sergeant O'Malley had so
+posted his men round the glen that the arrest of the distillers was
+apparently a certainty. In the early dawn, before objects could be
+distinctly seen, several men were observed going into the glen, and, at a
+given signal, the police closed in on the little shanty where the still
+was in operation. A desperate fight ensued, and Sergeant O'Malley was shot
+dead by one of his brothers without knowing whose hand pointed the weapon.
+Two of the O'Malleys were killed by the police bullets, and a constable
+was mortally wounded. Michael and his remaining son were taken alive,
+afterwards tried for murder, when for the first time they learned that the
+dead Sergeant was their relative. Both were hanged, the singular
+circumstances of the crime for which they suffered attracting wide
+attention.
+
+Mrs. O'Malley thus beheld herself, at a single blow, deprived of husband
+and four sons. For a time she was wildly demented, but the violence passed
+away, and as her clouded brain became calm, it was occupied by one idea,
+to the exclusion of all others,--prayer for the repose of her dead. The
+body of the Sergeant was buried near Maume, but O'Malley and his three
+sons were buried together under the cairn in a long disused churchyard
+through which the road passed, a churchyard like thousands more in
+Ireland, where the grave-stones are hidden by the nettles and weeds.
+Thither, with a love stronger than death, goes the poor old woman every
+day, and, untiring in her devotion, spends her life reciting the prayers
+for the dead.
+
+       [Illustration: "Thither goes the poor old women every day"]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE LEPRECHAWN.
+
+
+              [Illustration: Initial: "The Leprechawn"]
+
+Every mythology has its good and evil spirits which are objects of
+adoration and subjects of terror, and often both classes are worshipped
+from opposite motives; the good, that the worshipper may receive benefit;
+the evil, that he may escape harm. Sometimes good deities are so
+benevolent that they are neglected, superstitious fear directing all
+devotion towards the evil spirits to propitiate them and avert the
+calamities they are ever ready to bring upon the human race; sometimes the
+malevolent deities have so little power that the prayer of the pious is
+offered up to the good spirits that they may pour out still further
+favors, for man is a worshipping being, and will prostrate himself with
+equal fervor before the altar whether the deity be good or bad.
+
+Midway, however, between the good and evil beings of all mythologies there
+is often one whose qualities are mixed; not wholly good nor entirely evil,
+but balanced between the two, sometimes doing a generous action, then
+descending to a petty meanness, but never rising to nobility of character
+nor sinking to the depths of depravity; good from whim, and mischievous
+from caprice.
+
+Such a being is the Leprechawn of Ireland, a relic of the pagan mythology
+of that country. By birth the Leprechawn is of low descent, his father
+being an evil spirit and his mother a degenerate fairy; by nature he is a
+mischief-maker, the Puck of the Emerald Isle. He is of diminutive size,
+about three feet high, and is dressed in a little red jacket or
+roundabout, with red breeches buckled at the knee, gray or black
+stockings, and a hat, cocked in the style of a century ago, over a little,
+old, withered face. Round his neck is an Elizabethan ruff, and frills of
+lace are at his wrists. On the wild west coast, where the Atlantic winds
+bring almost constant rains, he dispenses with ruff and frills and wears a
+frieze overcoat over his pretty red suit, so that, unless on the lookout
+for the cocked hat, "ye might pass a Leprechawn on the road and never know
+it's himself that's in it at all."
+
+In Clare and Galway, the favorite amusement of the Leprechawn is riding a
+sheep or goat, or even a dog, when the other animals are not available,
+and if the sheep look weary in the morning or the dog is muddy and worn
+out with fatigue, the peasant understands that the local Leprechawn has
+been going on some errand that lay at a greater distance than he cared to
+travel on foot. Aside from riding the sheep and dogs almost to death, the
+Leprechawn is credited with much small mischief about the house. Sometimes
+he will make the pot boil over and put out the fire, then again he will
+make it impossible for the pot to boil at all. He will steal the
+bacon-flitch, or empty the potato-kish, or fling the baby down on the
+floor, or occasionally will throw the few poor articles of furniture about
+the room with a strength and vigor altogether disproportioned to his
+diminutive size. But his mischievous pranks seldom go further than to
+drink up all the milk or despoil the proprietor's bottle of its poteen,
+sometimes, in sportiveness, filling the bottle with water, or, when very
+angry, leading the fire up to the thatch, and then startling the in-mates
+of the cabin with his laugh as they rise, frightened, to put out the
+flames.
+
+To offset these troublesome attributes, the Leprechawn is very domestic,
+and sometimes attaches himself to a family, always of the "rale owld
+shtock," accompanying its representatives from the castle to the cabin and
+never deserting them unless driven away by some act of insolence or
+negligence, "for, though he likes good atin', he wants phat he gets to
+come wid an open hand, an' 'ud laver take the half av a pratee that's
+freely given than the whole av a quail that's begrudged him." But what he
+eats must be specially intended for him, an instance being cited by a
+Clare peasant of a Leprechawn that deserted an Irish family, because, on
+one occasion, the dog having left a portion of his food, it was set by for
+the Leprechawn. "Jakers, 't was as mad as a little wasp he was, an' all
+that night they heard him workin' away in the cellar as busy as a nailer,
+an' a sound like a catheract av wather goin' widout saycin'. In the
+mornin' they wint to see phat he'd been at, but he was gone, an' whin they
+come to thry for the wine, bad loock to the dhrop he'd left, but all was
+gone from ivery cask an' bottle, and they were filled wid say-wather,
+beways av rayvinge o' phat they done him."
+
+In different country districts the Leprechawn has different names. In the
+northern counties he is the Logheryman; in Tipperary, he is the
+Lurigadawne; in Kerry, the Luricawne; in Monaghan, the Cluricawne. The
+dress also varies. The Logheryman wears the uniform of some British
+infantry regiments, a red coat and white breeches, but instead of a cap,
+he wears a broad-brimmed, high, pointed hat, and after doing some trick
+more than usually mischievous, his favorite position is to poise himself
+on the extreme point of his hat, standing at the top of a wall or on a
+house, feet in the air, then laugh heartily and disappear. The Lurigadawne
+wears an antique slashed jacket of red, with peaks all round and a jockey
+cap, also sporting a sword, which he uses as a magic wand. The Luricawne
+is a fat, pursy little fellow whose jolly round face rivals in redness the
+cut-a-way jacket he wears, that always has seven rows of seven buttons in
+each row, though what use they are has never been determined, since his
+jacket is never buttoned, nor, indeed, can it be, but falls away from a
+shirt invariably white as the snow. When in full dress he wears a helmet
+several sizes too large for him, but, in general, prudently discards this
+article of headgear as having a tendency to render him conspicuous in a
+country where helmets are obsolete, and wraps his head in a handkerchief
+that he ties over his ears.
+
+The Cluricawne of Monaghan is a little dandy, being gorgeously arrayed in
+a swallow-tailed evening coat of red with green vest, white breeches,
+black stockings, and shoes that "fur the shine av 'em 'ud shame a
+lookin'-glass." His hat is a long cone without a brim, and is usually set
+jauntily on one side of his curly head. When greatly provoked, he will
+sometimes take vengeance by suddenly ducking and poking the sharp point of
+his hat into the eye of the offender. Such conduct is, however,
+exceptional, as he commonly contents himself with soundly abusing those at
+whom he has taken offence, the objects of his anger hearing his voice but
+seeing nothing of his person.
+
+One of the most marked peculiarities of the Leprechawn family is their
+intense hatred of schools and schoolmasters, arising, perhaps, from the
+ridicule of them by teachers, who affect to disbelieve in the existence of
+the Leprechawn and thus insult him, for "it's very well beknownst, that
+onless ye belave in him an' thrate him well, he'll lave an' come back no
+more." He does not even like to remain in the neighborhood where a
+national school has been established, and as such schools are now numerous
+in Ireland, the Leprechawns are becoming scarce. "Wan gineration of
+taichers is enough for thim, bekase the families where the little fellys
+live forgit to set thim out the bit an' sup, an' so they lave." The few
+that remain must have a hard time keeping soul and body together for
+nowhere do they now receive any attention at meal-times, nor is the
+anxiety to see one by any means so great as in the childhood of men still
+living. Then, to catch a Leprechawn was certain fortune to him who had the
+wit to hold the mischief-maker a captive until demands for wealth were
+complied with.
+
+"Mind ye," said a Kerry peasant, "the onliest time ye can ketch the little
+vagabone is whin he's settin' down, an' he niver sets down axceptin' whin
+his brogues want mendin'. He runs about so much he wears thim out, an'
+whin he feels his feet on the ground, down he sets undher a hidge or
+behind a wall, or in the grass, an' takes thim aff an' mends thim. Thin
+comes you by, as quiet as a cat an' sees him there, that ye can aisily, be
+his red coat, an' you shlippin' up on him, catches him in yer arrums.
+
+"'Give up yer goold,' says you.
+
+"'Begob, I've no goold,' says he.
+
+"'Then outs wid yer magic purse,' says you.
+
+"But it's like pullin' a hat full av taith to get aither purse or goold av
+him. He's got goold be the ton, an' can tell ye where ye can put yer
+finger on it, but he wont, till ye make him, an' that ye must do be no
+aisey manes. Some cuts aff his wind be chokin' him, an' some bates him,
+but don't for the life o' ye take yer eyes aff him, fur if ye do, he's aff
+like a flash an' the same man niver sees him agin, an' that's how it was
+wid Michael O'Dougherty.
+
+"He was afther lookin' for wan nigh a year, fur he wanted to get married
+an' hadn't anny money, so he thought the aisiest was to ketch a Luricawne.
+So he was lookin' an' watchin' an' the fellys makin' fun av him all the
+time. Wan night he was comin' back afore day from a wake he'd been at, an'
+on the way home he laid undher the hidge an' shlept awhile, thin riz an'
+walked on. So as he was walkin', he seen a Luricawne in the grass be the
+road a-mendin' his brogues. So he shlipped up an' got him fast enough, an'
+thin made him tell him where was his goold. The Luricawne tuk him to nigh
+the place in the break o' the hills an' was goin' fur to show him, when
+all at wanst Mike heard the most outprobrious scraich over the head av him
+that 'ud make the hairs av ye shtand up like a mad cat's tail.
+
+"'The saints defind me,' says he, 'phat's that?' an' he looked up from the
+Luricawne that he was carryin' in his arrums. That minnit the little
+attomy wint out av his sight, fur he looked away from it an' it was gone,
+but he heard it laugh when it wint an' he niver got the goold but died
+poor, as me father knows, an' he a boy when it happened."
+
+Although the Leprechawns are skilful in evading curious eyes, and, when
+taken, are shrewd in escaping from their captors, their tricks are
+sometimes all in vain, and after resorting to every device in their power,
+they are occasionally compelled to yield up their hidden stores, one
+instance of which was narrated by a Galway peasant.
+
+"It was Paddy Donnelly av Connemara. He was always hard at work as far as
+anny wan seen, an' bad luck to the day he'd miss, barrin' Sundays. When
+all 'ud go to the fair, sorra a fut he'd shtir to go near it, no more did
+a dhrop av dhrink crass his lips. When they'd ax him why he didn't take
+divarshun, he'd laugh an' tell thim his field was divarshun enough fur
+him, an' by an' by he got rich, so they knewn that when they were at the
+fair or wakes or shports, it was lookin' fur a Leprechawn he was an' not
+workin', an' he got wan too, fur how else cud he get rich at all."
+
+And so it must have been, in spite of the denials of Paddy Donnelly,
+though, to do him justice, he stoutly affirmed that his small property was
+acquired by industry, economy, and temperance. But according to the
+opinions of his neighbors, "bad scran to him 't was as greedy as a pig he
+was, fur he knewn where the goold was, an' wanted it all fur himself, an'
+so lied about it like the Leprechawns, that's known to be the biggest
+liars in the world."
+
+The Leprechawn is an old bachelor elf who successfully resists all efforts
+of scheming fairy mammas to marry him to young and beautiful fairies,
+persisting in single blessedness even in exile from his kind, being driven
+off as a punishment for his heterodoxy on matrimonial subjects. This is
+one explanation of the fact that Leprechawns are always seen alone, though
+other authorities make the Leprechawn solitary by preference, he having
+learned the hollowness of fairy friendship and the deceitfulness of fairy
+femininity, and left the society of his kind in disgust at its lack of
+sincerity.
+
+It must be admitted that the latter explanation seems the more reasonable,
+since whenever the Leprechawn has been captured and forced to engage in
+conversation with his captor he displayed conversational powers that
+showed an ability to please, and as woman kind, even among fairy circles,
+are, according to an Irish proverb, "aisily caught be an oily tongue," the
+presumption is against the expulsion of the Leprechawn and in favor of his
+voluntary retirement.
+
+        [Illustration: Returning the next morning with the spade]
+
+However this may be, one thing is certain to the minds of all wise women
+and fairy-men, that he is the "thrickiest little divil that iver wore a
+brogue," whereof abundant proof is given. There was Tim O'Donovan, of
+Kerry, who captured a Leprechawn and forced him to disclose the spot where
+the "pot o' goold" was concealed. Tim was going to make the little rogue
+dig up the money for him, but, on the Leprechawn advancing the plea that
+he had no spade, released him, marking the spot by driving a stick into
+the ground and placing his hat on it. Returning the next morning with a
+spade, the spot pointed out by the "little ottomy av a desaver" being in
+the centre of a large bog, he found, to his unutterable disgust, that the
+Leprechawn was too smart for him, for in every direction innumerable
+sticks rose out of the bog, each bearing aloft an old "caubeen" so closely
+resembling his own that poor Tim, after long search, was forced to admit
+himself baffled and give up the gold that, on the evening before, had been
+fairly within his grasp, if "he'd only had the brains in his shkull to
+make the Leprechawn dig it for him, shpade or no shpade."
+
+Even when caught, therefore, the captor must outwit the captive, and the
+wily little rascal, having a thousand devices, generally gets away without
+giving up a penny, and sometimes succeeds in bringing the eager
+fortune-hunter to grief, a notable instance of which was the case of
+Dennis O'Bryan, of Tipperary, as narrated by an old woman of Crusheen.
+
+"It's well beknownst that the Leprechawn has a purse that's got the
+charmed shillin'. Only wan shillin', but the wondher av the purse is this:
+No matther how often ye take out a shillin' from it, the purse is niver
+empty at all, but whin ye put yer finger in agin, ye always find wan
+there, fur the purse fills up when ye take wan from it, so ye may shtand
+all day countin' out the shillin's an' they comin', that's a thrick av the
+good peoples an' be magic.
+
+"Now Dinnis was a young blaggârd that was always afther peepin' about
+undher the hidge fur to ketch a Leprechawn, though they do say that thim
+that doesn't sarch afther thim sees thim oftener than thim that does, but
+Dinnis made his mind up that if there was wan in the counthry, he'd have
+him, fur he hated work worse than sin, an' did be settin' in a shebeen day
+in an' out till you'd think he'd grow on the sate. So wan day he was
+comin' home, an' he seen something red over in the corner o' the field,
+an' in he goes, as quiet as a mouse, an' up on the Leprechawn an' grips
+him be the collar an' down's him on the ground.
+
+"'Arrah, now, ye ugly little vagabone,' says he, 'I've got ye at last. Now
+give up yer goold, or by jakers I'll choke the life out av yer
+pin-squazin' carkidge, ye owld cobbler, ye,' says he, shakin' him fit to
+make his head dhrop aff.
+
+"The Leprechawn begged, and scritched, an' cried, an' said he wasn't a
+rale Leprechawn that was in it, but a young wan that hadn't anny goold,
+but Dinnis wouldn't let go av him, an' at last the Leprechawn said he'd
+take him to the pot ov goold that was hid be the say, in a glen in Clare.
+Dinnis didn't want to go so far, bein' afeared the Leprechawn 'ud get
+away, an' he thought the divilish baste was afther lyin' to him, bekase he
+knewn there was goold closter than that, an' so he was chokin' him that
+his eyes stood out till ye cud knock 'em aff wid a shtick, an' the
+Leprechawn axed him would he lave go if he'd give him the magic purse.
+Dinnis thought he'd betther do it, fur he was mortially afeared the
+oudacious little villin 'ud do him some thrick an' get away, so he tuk the
+purse, afther lookin' at it to make sure it was red shilk, an' had the
+shillin' in it, but the minnit he tuk his two eyes aff the Leprechawn,
+away wint the rogue wid a laugh that Dinnis didn't like at all.
+
+"But he was feelin' very comfortable be razon av gettin' the purse, an'
+says to himself, 'Begorra, 'tis mesilf that'll ate the full av me
+waistband fur wan time, an' dhrink till a stame-ingine can't squaze wan
+dhrop more down me neck,' says he, and aff he goes like a quarther-horse
+fur Miss Clooney's sheebeen, that's where he used fur to go. In he goes,
+an' there was Paddy Grogan, an' Tim O'Donovan, an' Mike Conathey, an'
+Bryan Flaherty, an' a shtring more av 'em settin' on the table, an' he
+pulls up a sate an' down he sets, a-callin' to Miss Clooney to bring her
+best.
+
+"'Where's yer money?' says she to him, fur he didn't use to have none
+barrin' a tuppence or so.
+
+"'Do you have no fear,' says he, 'fur the money,' says he, 'ye
+pinny-schrapin' owld shkeleton,' this was beways av a shot at her, fur it
+was the size av a load o' hay she was, an' weighed a ton. 'Do you bring
+yer best,' says he. 'I'm a gintleman av forchune, bad loock to the job o'
+work I'll do till the life laves me. Come, jintlemin, dhrink at my
+axpinse.' An' so they did an' more than wanst, an' afther four or five
+guns apace, Dinnis ordhered dinner fur thim all, but Miss Clooney towld
+him sorra the bit or sup more 'ud crass the lips av him till he paid fur
+that he had. So out he pulls the magic purse fur to pay, an' to show it
+thim an' towld thim phat it was an' where he got it.
+
+"'And was it the Leprechawn gev it ye?' says they.
+
+"'It was,' says Dinnis, 'an' the varchew av this purse is sich, that if ye
+take shillin's out av it be the handful all day long, they'll be comin' in
+a shtrame like whishkey out av a jug,' says he, pullin' out wan.
+
+"And thin, me jewel, he put in his fingers afther another, but it wasn't
+there, for the Leprechawn made a ijit av him, an' instid o' givin' him the
+right purse, gev him wan just like it, so as onless ye looked clost, ye
+cudn't make out the differ betune thim. But the face on Dinnis was a holy
+show when he seen the Leprechawn had done him, an' he wid only a shillin',
+an' half a crown av dhrink down the troats av thim.
+
+"'To the divil wid you an' yer Leprechawns, an' purses, an' magic
+shillin's,' schreamed Miss Clooney, belavin', an' small blame to her
+that's, that it was lyin' to her he was. 'Ye're a thafe, so ye are,
+dhrinkin' up me dhrink, wid a lie on yer lips about the purse, an'
+insultin' me into the bargain,' says she, thinkin' how he called her a
+shkeleton, an' her a load fur a waggin. 'Yer impidince bates owld Nick, so
+it does,' says she; so she up an' hits him a power av a crack on the head
+wid a bottle; an' the other felly's, a-thinkin' sure that it was a lie he
+was afther tellin' them, an' he laving thim to pay fur the dhrink he'd
+had, got on him an' belted him out av the face till it was nigh onto dead
+he was. Then a consthable comes along an' hears the phillaloo they did be
+makin' an' comes in.
+
+"'Tatther an' agers,' says he, 'lave aff. I command the pace. Phat's the
+matther here?'
+
+"So they towld him an' he consayved that Dinnis shtole the purse an' tuk
+him be the collar.
+
+"'Lave go,' says Dinnis. 'Sure phat's the harrum o' getting the purse av a
+Leprechawn?'
+
+"'None at all,' says the polisman, 'av ye projuice the Leprechawn an' make
+him teshtify he gev it ye an' that ye haven't been burglarious an'
+sarcumvinted another man's money,' says he.
+
+"But Dinnis cudn't do it, so the cunsthable tumbled him into the jail.
+From that he wint to coort an' got thirty days at hard labor, that he
+niver done in his life afore, an' afther he got out, he said he'd left
+lookin' for Leprechawns, fur they were too shmart fur him entirely, an'
+it's thrue fur him, bekase I belave they were."
+
+                   [Illustration: "Playing his pranks"]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE HENPECKED GIANT.
+
+
+            [Illustration: Initial: "The Henpecked Giant"]
+
+No locality of Ireland is fuller of strange bits of fanciful legend than
+the neighborhood of the Giant's Causeway. For miles along the coast the
+geological strata resemble that of the Causeway, and the gradual
+disintegration of the stone has wrought many peculiar and picturesque
+effects among the basaltic pillars, while each natural novelty has woven
+round it a tissue of traditions and legends, some appropriate, others
+forced, others ridiculous misapplications of commonplace tales. Here, a
+long straight row of columns is known as the "Giant's Organ," and
+tradition pictures the scene when the giants of old, with their gigantic
+families, sat on the Causeway and listened to the music; there, a group of
+isolated pillars is called the "Giant's Chimneys," since they once
+furnished an exit for the smoke of the gigantic kitchen. A solitary
+pillar, surrounded by the crumbling remains of others, bears a distant
+resemblance to a seated female figure, the "Giant's Bride," who slew her
+husband and attempted to flee, but was overtaken by the power of a
+magician, who changed her into stone as she was seated by the shore,
+waiting for the boat that was to carry her away. Further on, a cluster of
+columns forms the "Giant's Pulpit," where a presumably outspoken gigantic
+preacher denounced the sins of a gigantic audience. The Causeway itself,
+according to legend, formerly extended to Scotland, being originally
+constructed by Finn Maccool and his friends, this notable giant having
+invited Benandoner, a Scotch giant of much celebrity, to come over and
+fight him. The invitation was accepted, and Maccool, out of politeness,
+built the Causeway the whole distance, the big Scotchman thus walking over
+dryshod to receive his beating.
+
+Some distance from the mainland is found the Ladies' Wishing Chair,
+composed of blocks in the Great Causeway, wishes made while seated here
+being certain of realization. To the west of the Wishing Chair a solitary
+pillar rises from the sea, the "Gray Man's Love." Look to the mainland,
+and the mountain presents a deep, narrow cleft, with perpendicular sides,
+the "Gray Man's Path." Out in the sea, but unfortunately not often in
+sight, is the "Gray Man's Isle," at present inhabited only by the Gray Man
+himself. As the island, however, appears but once in seventeen years, and
+the Gray Man is never seen save on the eve of some awful calamity,
+visitors to the Causeway have a very slight chance of seeing either island
+or man. There can be no doubt though of the existence of both, for
+everybody knows he was one of the greatest of the giants during his
+natural lifetime, nor could any better evidence be asked than the facts
+that his sweet-heart, turned into stone, still stands in sight of the
+Causeway; the precipice, from which she flung herself into the sea, is
+still known by the name of the "Lovers' Leap;" and the path he made
+through the mountain is still used by him when he leaves his island and
+comes on shore.
+
+It is not surprising that so important a personage as the Gray Man should
+be the central figure of many legends, and indeed over him the
+story-makers seem to have had vigorous competition, for thirty or forty
+narratives are current in the neighborhood concerning him and the
+principal events of his life. So great a collection of legendary lore on
+one topic rendered the choice of a single tradition which should fairly
+cover the subject a matter of no little difficulty. As sometimes happens
+in grave undertakings, the issue was determined by accident. A chance boat
+excursion led to the acquaintance of Mr. Barney O'Toole, a fisherman, and
+conversation developed the fact that this gentleman was thoroughly posted
+in the local legends, and was also the possessor of a critical faculty
+which enabled him to differentiate between the probable and the
+improbable, and thus to settle the historical value of a tradition. In his
+way, he was also a philosopher, having evidently given much thought to
+social issues, and expressing his conclusions thereupon with the ease and
+freedom of a master mind.
+
+Upon being informed of the variety and amount of legendary material
+collected about the Gray Man and his doings, Barney unhesitatingly
+pronounced the entire assortment worthless, and condemned all the gathered
+treasures as the creations of petty intellects, which could not get out of
+the beaten track, but sought in the supernatural a reason for and
+explanation of every fact that seemed at variance with the routine of
+daily experience. In his opinion, the Gray Man is never seen at all in our
+day and generation, having been gathered to his fathers ages ago; nor is
+there any enchanted island; to use his own language, "all thim shtories
+bein' made be thim blaggârd guides that set up av a night shtringin' out
+laigends for to enthertain the quol'ty."
+
+"Now, av yer Anner wants to hear it, I can tell ye the thrue shtory av the
+Gray Man, no more is there anny thing wondherful in it, but it's just as I
+had it from me grandfather, that towld it to the childher for to entertain
+thim.
+
+"It's very well beknownst that in thim owld days there were gionts in
+plinty hereabouts, but they didn't make the Causeway at all, for that's a
+work o' nacher, axceptin' the Gray Man's Path, that I'm goin' to tell ye
+av. But ivery wan knows that there were gionts, bekase if there wasn't,
+how cud we know o' thim at all, but wan thing's sartain, they were just
+like us, axceptin' in the matther o' size, for wan ov thim 'ud make a
+dozen like the men that live now.
+
+"Among the gionts that lived about the Causeway there was wan, a young
+giont named Finn O'Goolighan, that was the biggest av his kind, an' none
+o' thim cud hide in a kish. So Finn, for the size av him, was a livin'
+terror. His little finger was the size av yer Anner's arrum, an' his wrist
+as big as yer leg, an' so he wint, bigger an' bigger. Whin he walked he
+carried an oak-tree for a shtick, ye cud crawl into wan av his shoes, an'
+his caubeen 'ud cover a boat. But he was a good-humored young felly wid a
+laugh that 'ud deefen ye, an' a plazin' word for all he met, so as if ye
+run acrass him in the road, he'd give ye 'good morrow kindly,' so as ye'd
+feel the betther av it all day. He'd work an' he'd play an' do aither wid
+all the might that was in him. Av a week day you'd see him in the field or
+on the shore from sun to sun as busy as a hen wid a dozen chicks; an' av a
+fair-day or av a Sunday, there he'd be, palatherin' at the girls, an'
+dancin' jigs that he done wid extrame nateness, or havin' a bout wid a
+shtick on some other felly's head, an' indade, at that he was so clever
+that it was a delight for to see him, for he'd crack a giont's shkull that
+was as hard as a pot wid wan blow an' all the pleasure in life. So he got
+to be four or five an' twinty an' not his betther in the County Antrim.
+
+"Wan fine day, his father, Bryan O'Goolighan, that was as big a giont as
+himself, says to him, says he, 'Finn, me Laddybuck, I'm thinkin' ye'll
+want to be gettin' marr'd.'
+
+"'Not me,' says Finn.
+
+"'An' why not?' says his father.
+
+"'I've no consate av it,' says Finn.
+
+"'Ye'd be the betther av it,' says his father.
+
+"'Faix, I'm not sure o' that,' says Finn; 'gettin' marr'd is like turnin'
+a corner, ye don't know phat ye're goin' to see,' says he.
+
+"'Thrue for ye,' says owld Bryan, for he'd had axpayrience himself, 'but
+if ye'd a purty woman to make the stirabout for ye av a mornin' wid her
+own white hands, an' to watch out o' the dure for ye in the avenin,' an'
+put on a sod o' turf whin she sees ye comin', ye'd be a betther man,' says
+he.
+
+"'Bedad, it's not aisey for to conthravene that same,' says Finn, 'barrin'
+I mightn't git wan like that. Wimmin is like angels,' says he. 'There's
+two kinds av 'em, an' the wan that shmiles like a dhrame o' heaven afore
+she's marr'd, is the wan that gits to be a tarin' divil afther her
+market's made an' she's got a husband.'
+
+"Ye see Finn was a mighty smart young felly, if he was a giont, but his
+father didn't give up hope av gettin' him marr'd, for owld folks that's
+been through a dale o' throuble that-a-way always thries to get the young
+wans into the same thrap, beways, says they, av taichin' thim to larn
+something. But Bryan was a wise owld giont, an' knewn, as the Bible says,
+there's time enough for all things. So he quit him, an' that night he
+spake wid the owld woman an' left it wid her, as knowin' that whin it's a
+matther o' marryin', a woman is more knowledgable an' can do more to bring
+on that sort o' mis'ry in wan day than a man can in all the years God
+gives him.
+
+"Now, in ordher that ye see the pint, I'm undher the need-cessity av
+axplainin' to yer Anner that Finn didn't be no manes have the hathred at
+wimmin that he purtinded, for indade he liked thim purty well, but he
+thought he undhershtood thim well enough to know that the more ye talk
+swate to thim, the more they don't like it, barrin' they're fools, that
+sometimes happens. So whin he talked wid 'em or about thim, he spake o'
+thim shuperskillious, lettin' on to despize the lasht wan o' thim, that
+was a takin' way he had, for wimmin love thimselves a dale betther than
+ye'd think, unless yer Anner's marr'd an' knows, an' that Finn knew, so he
+always said o' thim the manest things he cud get out av his head, an' that
+made thim think av him, that was phat he wanted. They purtinded to hate
+him for it, but he didn't mind that, for he knewn it was only talk, an'
+there wasn't wan o' thim that wouldn't give the lasht tooth out av her jaw
+to have him for a husband.
+
+"Well, as I was sayin', afther owld Bryan give Finn up, his mother tuk him
+in hand, throwin' a hint at him wanst in a while, sighin' to him how glad
+she'd be to have a young lady giont for a dawther, an' dhroppin' a word
+about phat an iligant girl Burthey O'Ghallaghy was, that was the dawther
+av wan o' the naburs, that she got Finn, unbeknownst to himself, to be
+thinkin' about Burthey. She was a fine young lady giont, about tin feet
+high, as broad as a cassel dure, but she was good size for Finn, as ye
+know be phat I said av him. So when Finn's mother see him takin' her home
+from church afther benediction, an' the nabers towld her how they obsarved
+him lanin' on O'Ghallaghy's wall an' Burthey lightin' his pipe wid a coal,
+she thought to herself, 'fair an' aisey goes far in a day,' an' made her
+mind up that Finn 'ud marry Burthey. An' so, belike, he'd a' done, if he
+hadn't gone over, wan onlucky day, to the village beyant, where the common
+people like you an' me lived.
+
+"When he got there, in he wint to the inn to get him his dhrink, for it's
+a mishtake to think that thim gionts were all blood-suckin' blaggârds as
+the Causeway guides say, but, barrin' they were in dhrink, were as
+paceable as rabbits. So when Finn wint in, he says, 'God save ye,' to thim
+settin', an' gev the table a big crack wid his shillaylah as for to say he
+wanted his glass. But instead o' the owld granny that used for to fetch
+him his potheen, out shteps a nate little woman wid hair an' eyes as black
+as a crow an' two lips on her as red as a cherry an' a quick sharp way
+like a cat in a hurry.
+
+"'An' who are you, me Dear?' says Finn, lookin' up.
+
+"'I'm the new barmaid, Sorr, av it's plazin' to ye,' says she, makin' a
+curchey, an' lookin' shtrait in his face.
+
+"'It is plazin',' says Finn. ''Tis I that's glad to be sarved be wan like
+you. Only,' says he, 'I know be the look o' yer eye ye 've a timper.'
+
+"'Dade I have,' says she, talkin' back at him, 'an' ye'd betther not wake
+it.'
+
+"Finn had more to say an' so did she, that I won't throuble yer Anner wid,
+but when he got his fill av dhrink an' said all he'd in his head, an' she
+kep' aven wid him at ivery pint, he wint away mightily plazed. The next
+Sunday but wan he was back agin, an' the Sunday afther, an' afther that
+agin. By an' by, he'd come over in the avenin' afther the work was done,
+an' lane on the bar or set on the table, talkin' wid the barmaid, for she
+was as sharp as a thornbush, an' sorra a word Finn 'ud say to her in
+impidince or anny other way, but she'd give him his answer afore he cud
+get his mouth shut.
+
+"Now, be this time, Finn's mother had made up her mind that Finn 'ud marry
+Burthey, an' so she sent for the match-maker, an' they talked it all over,
+an' Finn's father seen Burthey's father, an' they settled phat Burthey 'ud
+get an' phat Finn was to have, an' were come to an agraymint about the
+match, onbeknownst to Finn, bekase it was in thim days like it is now, the
+matches bein' made be the owld people, an' all the young wans did was to
+go an' be marr'd an' make the best av it. Afther all, maybe that's as good
+a way as anny, for whin ye've got all the throuble on yer back ye can
+stagger undher, there's not a haporth o' differ whether ye got undher it
+yerself or whether it was put on ye, an' so it is wid gettin' marr'd, at
+laste so I'm towld.
+
+"Annyhow, Finn's mother was busy wid preparin' for the weddin' whin she
+heard how Finn was afther puttin' in his time at the village.
+
+"'Sure that won't do,' she says to herself; 'he ought to know betther than
+to be spendin' ivery rap he's got in dhrink an' gostherin' at that
+black-eyed huzzy, an' he to be marr'd to the best girl in the county.' So
+that night, when Finn come in, she spake fair an' soft to him that he'd
+give up goin' to the inn, an' get ready for to be marr'd at wanst. An'
+that did well enough till she got to the marryin', when Finn riz up aff
+his sate, an' shut his taith so hard he bruk his pipestem to smithereens.
+
+"'Say no more, mother,' he says to her. 'Burthey's good enough, but I
+wouldn't marry her if she was made av goold. Begob, she's too big. I want
+no hogs'ead av a girl like her,' says he. 'If I'm to be marr'd, I want a
+little woman. They're betther o' their size, an' it don't take so much to
+buy gowns for thim, naither do they ate so much,' says he.
+
+"'A-a-ah, baithershin,' says his mother to him; 'phat d'ye mane be talkin'
+that-a-way, an' me workin' me fingers to the bone clanin' the house for
+ye, an' relavin' ye av all the coortin' so as ye'd not be bothered in the
+laste wid it.'
+
+"'Shmall thanks to ye,' says Finn, 'sure isn't the coortin' the best share
+o' the job?'
+
+    [Illustration: "AN' WHO ARE YOU, ME DEAR?" SAYS FINN, LOOKIN' UP.]
+
+            "AN' WHO ARE YOU, ME DEAR?" SAYS FINN, LOOKIN' UP.
+
+
+"'Don't ye mane to marry her?' says his mother.
+
+"'Divil a toe will I go wid her,' says Finn.
+
+"'Out, ye onmannerly young blaggârd, I'd tell ye to go to the divil, but
+ye're on the way fast enough, an' bad luck to the fut I'll shtir to halt
+ye. Only I'm sorry for Burthey,' says she, 'wid her new gown made. When
+her brother comes back, begob 'tis he that'll be the death av ye immejitly
+afther he dhrops his two eyes on ye.'
+
+"'Aisey now,' says Finn, 'if he opens his big mouth at me, I'll make him
+wondher why he wasn't born deef an' dumb,' says he, an' so he would, for
+all that he was so paceable.
+
+"Afther that, phat was his mother to do but lave aff an' go to bed, that
+she done, givin' Finn all the talk in her head an' a million curses
+besides, for she was mightily vexed at bein' bate that way an' was in a
+divil av a timper along o' the house-clanin', that always puts wimmin into
+a shtate av mind.
+
+"So the next day the news was towld, an' Finn got to be a holy show for
+the nabers, bekase av not marryin' Burthey an' wantin' the barmaid. They
+were afeared to say annything to himself about it, for he'd an arm on him
+the thick o' yer waist, an' no wan wanted to see how well he cud use it,
+but they'd whisper afther him, an' whin he wint along the road, they'd
+pint afther him, an' by an' by a giont like himself, an uncle av him,
+towld him he'd betther lave the counthry, an' so he thought he'd do an'
+made ready for to shtart.
+
+"But poor Burthey pined wid shame an' grief at the loss av him, for she
+loved him wid all the heart she had, an' that was purty big. So she fell
+aff her weight, till from the size av a hogs'ead she got no bigger round
+than a barrel an' was like to die. But all the time she kept on hopin'
+that he'd come to her, but whin she heard for sartain he was goin' to lave
+the counthry she let go an' jumped aff that clift into the say an'
+committed shooicide an' drownded herself. She wasn't turned into a pillar
+at all, that's wan o' thim guides' lies; she just drownded like annybody
+that fell into the wather would, an' was found afther an' berrid be the
+fishermen, an' a hard job av it they had, for she weighed a ton. But they
+called the place the Lovers' Lape, bekase she jumped from it, an' lovin'
+Finn the way she did, the lape she tuk made the place be called afther her
+an' that's razon enough.
+
+"Finn was showbogher enough afore, but afther that he seen it was no use
+thryin' for to live in Ireland at all, so he got the barmaid, that was
+aiquel to goin' wid him, the more that ivery wan was agin him, that's
+beway o' the conthrariness av wimmin, that are always ready for to do
+annything ye don't want thim to do, an' wint to Scotland an' wasn't heard
+av for a long time.
+
+"About twelve years afther, there was a great talk that Finn had got back
+from Scotland wid his wife an' had taken the farm over be the village, the
+first on the left as ye go down the mountain. At first there was no end av
+the fuss that was, for Burthey's frinds hadn't forgotten, but it all come
+to talk, so Finn settled down quite enough an' wint to work. But he was an
+althered man. His hair an' beard were gray as a badger, so they called him
+the Gray Man, an' he'd a look on him like a shape-stalin' dog. Everybody
+wondhered, but they didn't wondher long, for it was aisely persaived he
+had cause enough, for the tongue o' Missis Finn wint like a stame-ingine,
+kapin' so far ahead av her branes that she'd have to shtop an' say
+'an'-uh, an'-uh,' to give the latther time for to ketch up. Jagers, but
+she was the woman for to talk an' schold an' clack away till ye'd want to
+die to be rid av her. When she was young she was a purty nice girl, but as
+she got owlder her nose got sharp, her lips were as thin as the aidge av a
+sickle, an' her chin was as pinted as the bow av a boat. The way she
+managed Finn was beautiful to see, for he was that afeared av her tongue
+that he darn't say his sowl belonged to him when she was by.
+
+"When he got up airly in the mornin', she'd ax, 'Now phat are ye raisin'
+up so soon for, an' me just closin' me eyes in slape?' an' if he'd lay
+abed, she'd tell him to 'get along out o' that now, ye big gossoon; if it
+wasn't for me ye'd do nothin' at all but slape like a pig.' If he'd go
+out, she'd gosther him about where he was goin' an' phat he meant to do
+when he got there; if he shtayed at home, she'd raymark that he done
+nothin' but set in the cabin like a boss o' shtraw. When he thried for to
+plaze her, she'd grumble at him bekase he didn't thry sooner; when he let
+her be, she'd fall into a fury an' shtorm till his hair shtud up like it
+was bewitched it was.
+
+"She'd more thricks than a showman's dog. If scholdin' didn't do for Finn,
+she'd cry at him, an' had tin childher that she larned to cry at him too,
+an' when she begun, the tin o' thim 'ud set up a yell that 'ud deefen a
+thrumpeter, so Finn 'ud give in.
+
+"She cud fall ill on tin minnits notice, an' if Finn was obsthreperous in
+that degray that she cudn't do him no other way, she'd let on her head
+ached fit to shplit, so she'd go to bed an' shtay there till she'd got him
+undher her thumb agin. So she knew just where to find him whin she wanted
+him; that wimmin undhershtand, for there's more divilmint in wan woman's
+head about gettin' phat she wants than in tin men's bodies.
+
+"Sure, if iver annybody had raison to remimber the ould song, "When I was
+single," it was Finn.
+
+"So, ye see, Finn, the Gray Man, was afther havin' the divil's own time,
+an' that was beways av a mishtake he made about marryin'. He thought it
+was wan o' thim goold bands the quol'ty ladies wear on their arrums, but
+he found it was a handcuff it was. Sure wimmin are quare craythers. Ye
+think life wid wan o' thim is like a sunshiny day an' it's nothing but
+drizzle an' fog from dawn to dark, an' it's my belafe that Misther O'Day
+wasn't far wrong when he said wimmin are like the owld gun he had in the
+house an' that wint aff an the shly wan day an' killed the footman. 'Sure
+it looked innycent enough,' says he, 'but it was loaded all the same, an'
+only waitin' for an axcuse to go aff at some wan, an' that's like a woman,
+so it is,' he'd say, an' ivery wan 'ud laugh when he towld that joke, for
+he was the landlord, 'that's like a woman, for she's not to be thrusted
+avin when she's dead.'
+
+"But it's me own belafe that the most sarious mishtake av Finn's was in
+marryin' a little woman. There's thim that says all wimmin is a mishtake
+be nacher, but there's a big differ bechuxt a little woman an' a big wan,
+the little wans have sowls too big for their bodies, so are always lookin'
+out for a big man to marry, an' the bigger he is, the betther they like
+him, as knowin' they can manage him all the aisier. So it was wid Finn an'
+his little wife, for be hook an' be crook she rejuiced him in that
+obejince that if she towld him for to go an' shtand on his head in the
+corner, he'd do it wid the risk av his life, bekase he'd wanted to die an'
+go to heaven as he heard the priest say there was no marryin' there, an'
+though he didn't dare to hint it, he belaved in his sowl that the rayzon
+was the wimmin didn't get that far.
+
+                [Illustration: Music: When I Was Single.]
+
+"Afther they'd been living here about a year, Finn thought he'd fish a bit
+an' so help along, considherin' he'd a big family an' none o' the childher
+owld enough for to work. So he got a boat an' did purty well an' his wife
+used to come acrass the hill to the shore to help him wid the catch. But
+it was far up an' down agin an' she'd get tired wid climbin' the hill an'
+jawing at Finn on the way.
+
+"So wan day as they were comin' home, they passed a cabin an' there was
+the man that lived there, that was only a ditcher, a workin' away on the
+side av the hill down the path to the shpring wid a crowbar, movin' a big
+shtone, an' the shweat rollin' in shtrames aff his face.
+
+"'God save ye,' says Finn to him.
+
+"'God save ye kindly,' says he to Finn.
+
+"'It's a bizzy man ye are,' says Finn.
+
+"'Thrue for ye,' says the ditcher. 'It's along o' the owld woman. "The way
+to the shpring is too stape an' shtoney," says she to me, an' sure, I'm
+afther makin' it aisey for her.'
+
+"'Ye're the kind av a man to have,' says Missis Finn, shpakin' up. 'Sure
+all wimmin isn't blessed like your wife,' says she, lookin' at Finn, who
+let on to laugh when he wanted to shwear. They had some more discoorse,
+thin Finn an' his wife wint on, but it put a big notion into her head. If
+the bogthrotter, that was only a little ottommy, 'ud go to work like that
+an' make an aisey path for his owld woman to the shpring, phat's the
+rayzon Finn cudn't fall to an' dig a path through the mountains, so she
+cud go to the say an' to the church on the shore widout breakin' her back
+climbin' up an' then agin climbin' down. 'T was the biggest consate iver
+in the head av her, an' she wasn't wan o' thim that 'ud let it cool aff
+for the want o' talkin' about it, so she up an' towld it to Finn, an' got
+afther him to do it. Finn wasn't aiger for to thry, bekase it was Satan's
+own job, so he held out agin all her scholdin' an' beggin' an' cryin'.
+Then she got sick on him, wid her headache, an' wint to bed, an' whin Finn
+was about she'd wondher out loud phat she was iver born for an' why she
+cudn't die. Then she'd pray, so as Finn 'ud hear her, to all the saints to
+watch over her big gossoon av a husband an' not forget him just bekase he
+was a baste, an' if Finn 'ud thry to quiet her, she'd pray all the louder,
+an' tell him it didn't matther, she was dyin' an' 'ud soon be rid av him
+an' his brutal ways, so as Finn got half crazy wid her an' was ready to do
+annything in the worruld for to get her quiet.
+
+  [Illustration: "Finn gave in an' wint to work wid a pick an' sphade"]
+
+"Afther about a week av this thratemint, Finn give in an' wint to work wid
+a pick an' shpade on the Gray Man's Path. But thim that says he made it in
+wan night is ignerant, for I belave it tuk him a month at laste; if not
+more. So that's the thrue shtory av the Gray Man's Path, as me grandfather
+towld it, an' shows that a giont's size isn't a taste av help to him in a
+contist wid a woman's jaw.
+
+"But to be fair wid her, I belave the onliest fault Finn's wife had was,
+she was possist be the divil, an' there's thim that thinks that's enough.
+I mind me av a young felly wan time that was in love, an' so to be
+axcused, that wished he'd a hunderd tongues so to do justice to his
+swateheart. So afther that he marr'd her, an' whin they'd been marr'd a
+while an' she'd got him undher her fisht, says they to him, 'An' how about
+yer hunderd tongues?' 'Begorra,' says he to thim agin, 'wid a hunderd I'd
+get along betther av coorse than wid wan, but to be ayquel to the waggin'
+av her jaw I'd nade a hunderd t'ousand.'
+
+"So it's a consate I have that Missis Finn was not a haporth worse nor the
+rest o' thim, an' that's phat me grandfather said too, that had been
+marr'd twict, an' so knewn phat he was talkin' about. An' whin he towld
+the shtory av the Gray Man, he'd always end it wid a bit av poethry:--
+
+  "'The first rib did bring in ruin
+  As the rest have since been doin';
+  Some be wan way, some another,
+  Woman shtill is mischief's mother.
+
+  "'Be she good or be she avil,
+  Be she saint or be she divil,
+  Shtill unaisey is his life
+  That is marr'd wid a wife.'"
+
+
+
+
+
+SATAN AS A SCULPTOR.
+
+
+            [Illustration: Initial: "Satan as a Sculptor"]
+
+Near one of the fishing villages which abound on the Clare coast, a narrow
+valley runs back from the sea into the mountains, opening between two
+precipices that, ages ago, were rent asunder by the forces of nature. On
+entering the valley by the road leading from the sea-shore, nothing can be
+seen but barren cliffs and craggy heights, covered here and there by
+patches of the moss peculiar to the country. After making some progress,
+the gorge narrows, the moss becomes denser on the overhanging rocks;
+trees, growing out of clefts in the precipices, unite their branches above
+the chasm, and shroud the depths, so that, save an hour or two at noon,
+the rays of the sun do not penetrate to the crystal brook, rippling along
+at the bottom over its bed of moss-covered pebbles,--now flashing white as
+it leaps down a declivity, now hiding itself under the overreaching ferns,
+now coming again into the light, but always hurrying on as though eager to
+escape from the dark, gloomy retreat, and, for a moment, enjoy the
+sunshine of the wider valley beyond before losing its life in the sea.
+
+                      [Illustration: A Barren Cliff]
+
+At a narrow turn in the valley and immediately over the spot where the
+brook has its origin in a spring bursting out of a crevice in the rock and
+falling into a circular well partly scooped out, partly built up for the
+reception of the sparkling water, a cliff rises perpendicularly to the
+height of fifty feet, surmounted, after a break in the strata, by another,
+perhaps twenty feet higher, the upper portion being curiously wrought by
+nature's chisel into the shape of a human countenance. The forehead is
+shelving, the eyebrows heavy and menacing; the nose large and hooked like
+the beak of a hawk; the upper lip short, the chin prominent and pointed,
+while a thick growth of ferns in the shelter of the crag forming the nose
+gives the impression of a small mustache and goatee. Above the forehead a
+mass of tangled undergrowth and ferns bears a strong resemblance to an
+Oriental turban. An eye is plainly indicated by a bit of light-colored
+stone, and altogether the face has a sinister leer, that, in an ignorant
+age, might easily inspire the fears of a superstitious people.
+
+On a level with the chin and to the right of the face is the mouth of a
+cave, reached by a path up the hillside, rude steps in the rock rendering
+easier the steep ascent. The cave can be entered only by stooping, but
+inside a room nearly seven feet high and about twelve feet square presents
+itself. Undoubtedly the cave was once the abode of an anchorite, for on
+each side of the entrance a Latin cross is deeply carved in the rock,
+while within, at the further side, and opposite the door, a block of stone
+four feet high was left for an altar. Above it, a shrine is hollowed out
+of the stone wall, and over the cavity is another cross, surmounted by the
+mystic I. H. S.
+
+The legend of the cave was told by an old "wise woman" of the neighborhood
+with a minuteness of detail that rendered the narrative more tedious than
+graphic. A devout believer in the truth of her own story, she told it with
+wonderful earnestness, combining fluency of speech with the intonations of
+oratory in such a way as to render the legend as interesting as a dramatic
+recitation.
+
+"'T is the cave av the saint, but phat saint I'm not rightly sartain. Some
+say it was Saint Patrick himself, but 't is I don't belave that same. More
+say it was the blessed Saint Kevin, him that done owld King O'Toole out av
+his land in the bargain he made fur curin' his goose, but that's not thrue
+aither, an' it's my consate they're right that say it was Saint Tigernach,
+the same that built the big Abbey av Clones in Monaghan. His Riverince,
+Father Murphy, says that same, an' sorra a wan has a chance av knowin'
+betther than him.
+
+                    [Illustration: THE DEVIL'S FACE.]
+
+"An' the big head on the rock there is the divil's face that the saint
+made him put there, the time the blessed man was too shmart fur him whin
+the Avil Wan thried to do him.
+
+"A quare owld shtory it is, an' the quol'ty that come down here on the
+coast laugh if it's towld thim, an' say it's a t'underin' big lie that's
+in it, bekase they don't undhershtand it, but if men belaved nothin' they
+didn't undhershtand, it's a short craydo they'd have. But I was afther
+tellin', Saint Tigernach lived in the cave, it bein' him an' no other;
+morebetoken, he was a good man an' shrewder than a fox. He made the cave
+fur himself an' lived there, an' ivery day he'd say tin thousand paters,
+an' five thousand aves, an' a thousand craydos, an' thin go out among the
+poor. There wasn't manny poor thin in Ireland, Glory be to God, fur the
+times was betther thin, but phat there was looked up to the saint, fur he
+was as good as a cupboard to thim, an' whin he begged fur the poor, sorra
+a man 'ud get from him till he'd given him a copper or more, fur he'd
+shtick like a consthable to ye till he'd get his money. An' all that were
+parshecuted, an' the hungry, an' naked, and God's poor, wint to the saint
+like a child to its mother an' towld him the whole o' their heart.
+
+"While the blessed saint lived here, over acrass the hill an' beyant the
+peat-bog there was a hedger an' ditcher named O'Connor. He was only a poor
+laborin' man, an' the owld woman helped him, while his girl, be the name
+o' Kathleen, tinded the house, fur I must tell ye, they kept a boord in
+the corner beways av a bar an' a jug wid potheen that they sowld to thim
+that passed, fur it was afore the days av the gaugers, bad cess to thim,
+an' ivery man dhrunk phat he plazed widout payin' a pinny to the
+govermint. So O'Connor made the potheen himself an' Kathleen sowld it to
+the turf-cutters, an' mighty little did they buy, bekase they'd no money.
+She was a fine girl, wid a pair av eyes that 'ud dint the hearts av owld
+an' young, an' wid a dacint gown fur the week an' a clane wan fur the
+Sunday, an' just such a girl as 'ud make an owld felly feel himself young
+agin. Sorra the taste av divilmint was there in the girl at all, fur she
+was good as the sunshine in winther an' as innycent as a shpring lamb, an'
+wint to church an' did her jooty reglar.
+
+"She was afther fallin' in love wid a young felly that done ditchin' an'
+they were to be marr'd whin he got his house done an' his father gev him a
+cow. He wasn't rich be no manes, but as fur feelin' poverty, he never
+dhreamt o' such a thing, fur he'd the love o' Kathleen an' thought it a
+forchune.
+
+"In thim times the castle at the foot o' the hill was kept be a lord, that
+wid roomytisms an' panes in his jints was laid on his bed all the time,
+and the son av him, Lord Robert, was the worst man to be runnin' afther
+girls iver seen in the County Clare. He was the dandy among thim an' broke
+the hearts o' thim right an' lift like he was shnappin' twigs undher his
+feet. Manny a wan he desaved an' let go to the dogs, as they did at wanst,
+fur whin the divil gets his foot on a woman's neck, she niver lifts her
+head agin.
+
+"Wan day, Lord Robert's father's roomytism got the betther av him an' laid
+him out, an' they gev him an iligant wake an' berryin', an' while they
+were at the grave Lord Robert looked up an' seen Kathleen shtandin' among
+the people an' wondhered who she was. So he come into the eshtate an' got
+a stable full av horses an' dogs, an' did a power o' huntin', an' as he
+was a sojer, he'd a shwarm av throopers at the cassel, all the like av
+himself. But not long afther the berryin', Lord Robert was huntin' in the
+hills, an' he come down towards the bog an' seen O'Connor's cabin, an'
+says to his man 'Bedad, I wondher if they've a dhrop to shpare here, I'm
+mortial dhry.' So in they wint, an' axed, an' got thim their dhrink, an'
+thin he set the wicked eyes av him on the girl an' at wanst remimbered
+her.
+
+"'It's a mighty fine girl ye are,' says he to Kathleen thin, an' fit fur
+the house av a prince.'
+
+"'None o' yer deludherin' talk to me, Sorr,' says Kathleen to him. 'I know
+ye, an' it's no good I know av ye,' says she to him. 'Twas the good girl
+she was an' as firm as a landlord in a bad year when she thought there was
+anny avil intinded.
+
+"So he wint away that time an' come agin an' agin when he was huntin' an'
+always had some impidince to say at her. She towld her parrents av it, an'
+though they didn't like it at all, they wasn't afeared fur the girl, an'
+he'd spind more in wan dhrinkin' than they'd take in in a week, so they
+were not sorry to see him come, but ivery time he come he wint away more
+detarmined to have the girl, an' whin he found he cudn't get her be fair
+manes he shwore he'd do it be foul. So wanst, whin she'd been cowlder to
+him than common an' wouldn't have a prisint he brought her, he says to
+her, 'Begob, I'll bring ye to terms. If ye won't accept me prisints, I'll
+make ye bend yer will widout prisints,' an' he wint away. She got
+frighted, an' whin she saw Tim Maccarty, she towld him av Lord Robert an'
+phat he said. Well, it made Tim mighty mad. 'Tatther an' agers,' says he,
+'be the powers, I'll break every bone in his body if he lays a finger on
+yer showldher; but, fur all that, whin Tim got to thinkin', he got skairt
+av Kathleen.
+
+"'Sure,' says he to himself, 'ain't wimmin like glass jugs, that'll break
+wid the laste touch? I'll marry her immejitly an' take out av Clare into
+Kerry,' says he, 'an' let him dare to come afther her there,' says he, for
+he knewn that if Lord Robert came into the Kerry mountains, the boys 'ud
+crack his shkull wid the same compuncshusness that they'd have to an egg
+shell. So he left aff the job an' convaynienced himself to go to Kathleen
+that night an' tell her his belafe.
+
+"'Amn't I afeared fur ye, me darlin',' says he, 'and wouldn't I dhrownd me
+in the say if anny harm 'ud come to ye, so I think we'd betther be married
+at wanst.'
+
+"So Kathleen consinted an' made a bundle av her Sunday gown, an' they
+shtarted fur the saint's cave, that bein' the nearest place they cud be
+marr'd at, an' bein' marr'd be him was like bein' marr'd be a priest.
+
+"So they wint alang the road to where the foot-path laves it be the
+oak-tree, then up the path an' through the boreen to where Misther
+Dawson's black mare broke her leg jumpin' the hedge, an' whin they rached
+that shpot they heard a noise on the road behint thim an' stud be the
+hedge, peepin' through to have a look at it an' see phat it was. An' there
+was Lord Robert an' a dozen av his bad min, wid their waypons an' the
+armor on thim shinin' in the moonlight. It was ridin' to O'Connor's they
+were, an' whin Tim an' Kathleen set their eyes on thim, they seen they'd
+made a narrer eshcape.
+
+"Howandiver, as soon as Lord Robert an' his min were out o' sight, they
+ran wid all their shpeed, an' lavin' the path where Dennis Murphy fell
+into the shtrame lasht winter comin' back from Blanigan's wake whin he'd
+had too much, they tuk the rise o' the hill, an' that was a mishtake. If
+they'd kep be the hedge an' 'round be the foot-bridge, then up the footway
+the other side o' the brook an' ferninst the mill, they'd have kep out o'
+sight, an' been safe enough; but as they were crassin' the hill, wan av
+Robert's min saw thim, fur it was afther the girl he was sure enough, an'
+whin he found from her father her an' Tim were gone, they rode aff here
+an' there sarchin' afther thim. Whin the sojer shpied thim on the top o'
+the hill, he blew his thrumpet, an' here come all the rest shtreelin'
+along on the run, round the hill as fast as their bastes 'ud take thim,
+fur they guessed where the two 'ud be goin'. An' Kathleen an' Tim come
+tumblin' down the shlope, an' bad luck to the minnit they'd to shpare whin
+they got into the cave before here was the whole gang, wid their horses
+puffin', an' their armors rattlin' like a pedler's tins.
+
+"The saint was on a pile av shtraw in the corner, shnorin' away out av his
+blessed nose, fur it was as sound aslape as a pig he was, bein' tired
+entirely wid a big day's job, an' didn't wake up wid their comin' in. So
+Lord Robert an' his min left their horses below an' climbed up an' looked
+in, but cud see nothin' be razon av the darkness.
+
+"'Arrah now,' says he, 'Kathleen, come along out o' that now, fur I've got
+ye safe an' sound.'
+
+"They answered him niver a word, but he heard a noise that was the saint
+turnin' over on his bed bein' onaisey in his slape.
+
+"'Come along out o' that,' he repaited; 'an' you, Tim Maccarty, if ye come
+out, ye may go back to yer ditchin', but if ye wait fur me to fetch ye,
+the crows 'ull be atin' ye at sunrise. Shtrike a light,' says he. So they
+did, an' looked in an' saw Tim an' Kathleen, wan on aitch side o' the
+althar, holdin' wid all their mights to the crass that was on it.
+
+"'Dhrag thim out av it,' says Lord Robert, an' the min went in, but afore
+they come near thim, Saint Tigernach shtopped shnorin', bein' wakened wid
+the light an' jabberin', an' shtud up on the flure.
+
+"'Howld on now,' says the blessed saint, 'phat's the matther here? Phat's
+all this murtherin' noise about?' says he.
+
+"Lord Robert's min all dhrew back, for there was a power o' fear av the
+saint in the county, an' Lord Robert undhertuk to axplain that the girl
+was a sarvint av his that run away wid that thafe av a ditcher, but Saint
+Tigernach seen through the whole thrick at wanst.
+
+             [Illustration: "Her masther stood be her side"]
+
+"'Lave aff,' says he. 'Don't offer fur to thrape thim lies on me. Pack aff
+wid yer murtherers, or it's the curse ye'll get afore ye can count yer
+fingers,' an' wid that all the min went out, an' Lord Robert afther thim,
+an' all he cud say 'udn't pervail on the sojers to go back afther the
+girl.
+
+"'No, yer Anner,' says they to him; 'we ate yer Anner's mate, an' dhrink
+yer Anner's dhrink, an' 'ull do yer Anner's biddin' in all that's right.
+We're parfectly willin' to wait till mornin' an' murther the ditcher an'
+shtale the girl whin they come out an' get away from the saint, but he
+musn't find it out. It's riskin' too much. Begorra, we've got sowls to
+save,' says they, so they all got on their horses an' shtarted back to the
+cassel.
+
+"Lord Robert folly'd thim a bit, but the avil heart av him was so set on
+Kathleen that he cudn't bear the thought av lettin' her go. So whin he got
+to the turn av the road, 'T'underation,' says he, ''t is the wooden head
+that's set on me showldhers, that I didn't think av the witch afore.'
+
+"Ye see, in the break av the mountains beyant the mill, where the rath is,
+there was in thim times the cabin av a great witch. 'T was a dale av avil
+she done the County Clare wid shtorms an' rainy sayzons an' cows lavin'
+aff their milk, an' she'd a been dhrownded long afore, but fur fear av the
+divil, her masther, that was at her elbow, whinever she'd crook her
+finger. So to her Lord Robert wint, an' gev a rap on the dure, an' in.
+There she sat wid a row av black cats on aitch side, an' the full av a
+shkillet av sarpints a-shtewin' on the fire. He knew her well, fur she'd
+done jobs fur him afore, so he made bowld to shtate his arriant widout so
+much as sayin' good day to ye. The owld fagot made a charm to call her
+masther, an' that minnit he was shtandin' be her side, bowin' an'
+schrapin' an' shmilin' like a gintleman come to tay. He an' Lord Robert
+fell to an' had a power av discoorse on the bargain, fur Robert was a
+sharp wan an' wanted the conthract onsartain-like, hopin' to chate the
+divil at the end, as we all do, be the help av God, while Satan thried to
+make it shtronger than a tinant's lace. Afther a dale av palatherin', they
+aggrade that the divil was to do all that Lord Robert axed him fur twinty
+years, an' then to have him sowl an' body; but if he failed, there was an
+end av the bargain. But there was a long face on the owld felly whin the
+first thing he was bid to do was to bring Kathleen out o' the cave an'
+carry her to the cassel.
+
+"'By Jayminny,' says Satan, 'it's no aisey job fur to be takin' her from
+the power av a great saint like him,' a-scratchin' his head. 'But come on,
+we'll thry.'
+
+       [Illustration: "So the three av thim mounted the wan horse"]
+
+"So the three av thim mounted on the wan horse, Lord Robert in the saddle,
+the divil behind, an' the witch in front av him, an' away like the wind to
+the cave. Whin they got to the turn o' the hill, they got aff an' hid in
+the bushes bechune the cave an' the shpring, bekase, as Satan axplained to
+Lord Robert, ivery night, just at midnight, the saint wint to get him a
+dhrink av wather, bein' dhry wid the devotions, an' 'ud bring the full av
+a bucket back wid him.
+
+"'We'll shtop him be the shpring,' says the divil, 'wid the witch, an' you
+an' me'ull shtale the girl while he's talkin'.
+
+"So while the clock was shtrikin' fur twilve, out come the saint wid the
+wather-bucket an' shtarted to the shpring. Whin he got there an' was
+takin' his dhrink, up comes the witch an' begins tellin' him av a son she
+had (she was purtindin', ye ondhershtand, an' lyin' to him) that was as
+lazy as a câr-horse an' as much in the way as a sore thumb, an' axin' the
+saint's advice phat to do wid him, while Satan an' Lord Robert ran into
+the cave. The divil picked up Kathleen in his arrums, but he darn't have
+done that same, only she was on the other side av the cave an' away from
+the althar, but Tim was shtandin' by it, an' shtarted out wid her kickin'
+an' schraichin'. Tim ran to grip him, but Satan tossed him back like a
+ball an' he fell on the flure.
+
+"'Howld on till I shtick him,' says Lord Robert, pullin' out his soord.
+
+"'Come on, ye bosthoon,' says Satan to him. 'Sure the saint 'ull be on us
+if we don't get away quick,' an' bedad, as he said thim words, the dure
+opened, an' in come Saint Tigernach wid a bucket av wather on his arrum
+an' in a hurry, fur he misthrusted something.
+
+"'God's presince be about us,' says the blessed saint, whin he saw the
+divil, an' the turkey-bumps begun to raise on his blessed back an' the
+shweat a-comin' on his face, fur he knewn Satan well enough, an' consaved
+the owld felly had come fur himself be razon av a bit o' mate he ate that
+day, it bein' av a Friday; axceptin' he didn't ate the mate but only
+tasted it an' then spit it out agin to settle a quarl bechune a butcher
+an' a woman that bought the mate an' said it was bad, only he was afeared
+Satan didn't see him when he sput it out agin. 'God's presince be about
+us,' says the saint, a-crossin' himself as fast as he cud. In a minnit
+though, he seen it wasn't him, but Kathleen, that was in it, an' let go
+the wather an' caught the blessed crass that was hangin' on him wid his
+right hand an' gripped Satan be the throat wid his lift, a-pushin' the
+crass in his face.
+
+"The divil dhropped Kathleen like it was a bag av male she was, an' she
+rolled over an' over on the flure like a worrum till she raiched the
+althar an' stuck to it as tight as the bark on a tree. An' a fine thing it
+was to see the inimy av our sowls a-lyin' there trimblin', wid the saint's
+fut on his neck.
+
+"'Glory be to God,' says the saint. 'Lie you there till I make an example
+av ye,' says he, an' turned to look fur Lord Robert, bekase he knewn the
+two o' thim 'ud be in it. But the Sassenagh naded no invitation to be
+walkin' aff wid himself, but whin he seen phat come to the divil, he run
+away wid all the legs he had, an' the witch wid him, an' Tim afther thim
+wid a whoop an' a fishtful av shtones. But they left him complately an'
+got away disconsarted, an' Tim come back.
+
+"'Raise up,' says Saint Tigernach to the divil, 'an' shtand in the
+corner,' makin' the blessed sign on the ground afore him. 'I'm afther
+marryin' these two at wanst, widout fee or license, an' you shall be the
+witness.'
+
+"So he married thim there, while the divil looked on. Faix, it's no lie
+I'm tellin' ye; it's not the onliest marryin' the divil's been at, but
+he's not aften seen at thim when he's in as low sper'ts as he was at that.
+But it was so that they were married wid Satan fur a witness, an' some
+says the saint thransported thim to Kerry through the air, but 't isn't
+meself that belaves that same, but that they walked to Kilrush an' wint to
+Kerry in a fisherman's boat.
+
+"Afther they'd shtarted, the saint turns to Satan an' says, 'No more av
+yer thricks wid them two, me fine felly, fur I mane to give you a job
+that'll kape ye out av mischief fur wan time at laste,' fur he was
+mightily vexed wid him a-comin' that-a-way right into his cave the same as
+if the place belonged to him.
+
+"'Go you to work,' says he, 'an' put yer face on the rock over the
+shpring, so that as long as the mountain shtands min can come an' see phat
+sort av a dirthy lookin' baste ye are.'
+
+"So Satan wint out an' looked up at the rock, shmilin', as fur to say that
+was no great matther, an' whin the blessed man seen the grin that was on
+him, he says, 'None av yer inchantmints will I have at all, at all. It's
+honest work ye'll do, an' be the same token, here's me own hammer an'
+chisel that ye'll take,' an' wid that the divil looked mighty sarious, an'
+left aff grinnin' for he parsaived the clift was granite.
+
+"'Sure it's jokin' yer Riverince is,' says he, 'ye don't mane it. Sorra
+the harder bit av shtone bechuxt this an' Donegal,' an' it was thrue for
+him, fur he knewn the coast well.
+
+"'Bad luck to the taste av a lie's in it,' says the saint. 'So take yer
+waypons an' go at it, owld Buck-an'-Whey, fur the sooner ye begin, the
+quicker ye'll be done, an' the shtone won't soften be yer watin'. Mind ye
+kape a civil tongue in yer head while ye're at the job, or it'll be a
+holiday to the wan I'll find ye,' says he, lookin' at him very fierce.
+
+"So wid great displazemint, Satan tuk the hammer an' chisel, an' climbed
+up an' wint to work a cuttin' his own face on the shtone, an' it was as
+hard as iron it was, an whin he'd hit it a couple av cracks, he shtopped
+an' shuck his head an' thin scratched over his year wid the chisel an'
+looked round at the saint as fur to say somethin', but the blessed saint
+looked at him agin so fayroshus, that he made no raimark at all, but
+turned back to the clift quick an' begun to hammer away in airnest till
+the shweat shtud on his haythenish face like the dhrops on a wather-jug.
+
+"On the next day, Lord Robert thought he'd call the owld Inimy, an' remind
+him that, bein' as he'd failed to get Kathleen, their bargain was aff. So
+he made the charm Satan gev him, but he didn't come fur anny thrial he'd
+make.
+
+"'Bad scran to the Imp,' says he. 'Sure he must be mighty busy or maybe
+he's forgot entirely.'
+
+"So he out an' wint to see the witch, but she wasn't in, an' while he was
+waitin' for her, bein' not far away from the saint's cave, he thought he'd
+have a peep, an' see if Tim an' Kathleen were shtill there. So he crawled
+over the top o' the hill beyant the cave like the sarpint that he was, an'
+whin he come down a little, he seen the owld Pooka on the clift, wid the
+hammer in wan hand an' the chisel in the other a poundin' away at the rock
+an' hangin' on be his tail to a tree. Lord Robert thought the eyes 'ud
+lave his head, fur he seen it was the divil sure enough, but he cudn't
+rightly make out phat he was doin'. So he crawled down till he seen, an'
+thin, whin he undhershtood, he riz an' come an' took a sate on a big
+shtone ferninst the clift, a shlappin' his legs wid his hands, an' roarin'
+an' the wather bilin' out av his eyes wid laughin'.
+
+"'Hilloo Nickey,' says he, when he'd got his breath agin an' cud shpake.
+'Is it yerself that's in it?' Mind the impidince av him, shpakin' that
+familiar to the inimy av our sowls, but faix, he'd a tongue like a
+jewsharp, an' cud use it too.
+
+"'Kape from me,' says Satan to him agin, as crass as two shticks, an'
+widout turnin' his head fur to raigârd him. 'Lave me! Begorra, I'll wipe
+the clift aff wid yer carkidge if ye come anny closter,' says he.
+
+"'A-a-a-h, woorroo, now. Aisey, ye desayvin' owld blaggârd,' says Lord
+Robert, as bowld as a ram, fur he knewn that Satan daren't lave the job to
+come at him. 'Will ye kape yer timper? Sure ye haven't the manners av a
+goat, to be shpakin' to a gintleman like that. I've just come to tell ye
+that bein' ye failed, our bargain 's aff,' says he.
+
+"'Out wid ye,' says the divil, turnin' half round an' howldin' be wan hand
+to the big shtone nose he'd just done, an' shakin' the other fist wid the
+chisel in it at Lord Robert. 'D' ye think I want to be aggervated wid the
+likes av ye, ye whey-faced shpalpeen, an' me losin' the whole day, an'
+business pressin' at this saison, an' breakin' me back on the job, an' me
+fingers sore wid the chisel, an' me tail shkinned wid howldin' on? Bad
+luck to the shtone, it's harder than a Scotchman's head, it is, so it is,'
+says he, turnin' back agin when he seen the saint at the dure av the cave.
+An' thin he begun a peckin' away at the clift fur dear life, shwearin' to
+himself, so the saint cudn't hear him, every time he give his knuckles an
+onlucky crack wid the hammer.
+
+"'Ye're not worth the throuble,' says he to Lord Robert; he was that full
+av rage he cudn't howld in. 'It's a paltherin' gossoon I was fur thriflin'
+wid ye whin I was sure av ye annyhow.'
+
+"'Yer a liar,' says Lord Robert, 'ye desaivin' nagurly Haythen. If ye was
+sure o' me phat did ye want to make a bargain fur?'
+
+"'Yer another,' says Satan. 'Isn't a sparrer in yer hand betther than a
+goose on a shtring?'
+
+"So they were goin' on wid the blaggârdin' match, whin the blessed saint,
+that come out whin he heard thim begin, an' thin set on the dure
+a-watchin', to see that owld Nick didn't schamp the job, interfared.
+
+"'Howld yer pace, Satan, an' kape at yer work,' says he. 'An' for you, ye
+blatherin', milk-faced villin, wid the heart as black as a crow, walk aff
+wid ye an' go down on yer hard-hearted onbelavin' knees, or it's no good
+'ull come o' ye.' An' so he did.
+
+"Do I belave the shtory? Troth, I dunno. It's quare things happened in
+them owld days, an' there's the face on the clift as ugly as the divil cud
+be an' the hammer an' chisel are in the church an' phat betther proof cud
+ye ax?
+
+"Phat come av the lovers? No more do I know that, barrin' they grew owld
+an' shtayed poor an' forgot the shpring-time av youth in the winter av
+age, but if they lived a hunderd years, they niver forgot the marryin' in
+the saint's cave, wid the black face av the Avil Wan lookin' on from the
+dark corner."
+
+             [Illustration: "'Kape from me,' says the divil"]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE DEFEAT OF THE WIDOWS.
+
+
+         [Illustration: Initial: "The Defeat of the Widows"]
+
+When superstitions have not yet been banished from any other part of the
+world it is not wonderful that they should still be found in the country
+districts of Ireland, rural life being especially favorable to the
+perpetuation of old ways of living and modes of thought, since in an
+agricultural district less change takes place in a century than may, in a
+city, be observed in a single decade. Country people preserve their old
+legends with their antique styles of apparel, and thus the relics of the
+pagan ages of Ireland have come down from father to son, altered and
+adapted to the changes in the country and its population. Thus, for
+instance, the old-fashioned witch is no longer found in any part of
+Ireland, her memory lingering only as a tradition, but her modern
+successor is frequently met with, and in many parishes a retired hovel in
+a secluded lane is a favorite resort of the neighboring peasants, for it
+is the home of the Pishogue, or wise woman, who collects herbs, and, in
+her way, doctors her patients, sometimes with simple medicinal remedies,
+sometimes with charms, according to their gullibility and the nature of
+their ailments.
+
+Not far from Ballinahinch, a fishing village on Birterbuy Bay, in the
+County Galway, and in the most lonely valley of the neighborhood, there
+dwells one of these wise women who supplant the ancient witches. The hovel
+which shelters her bears every indication of wretched poverty; the floor
+is mud, the smoke escapes through a hole in the thatch in default of a
+chimney; the bed is a scanty heap of straw in the corner, and two rude
+shelves, bearing a small assortment of cracked jars and broken bottles,
+constitute Moll's stock in trade.
+
+The misery of her household surroundings, however, furnished to the minds
+of her patients no argument against the efficiency of her remedies, Moll
+being commonly believed to have "a power av goold," though no one had ever
+seen any portion thereof. But with all her reputed riches she had no fear
+of robbers, for "she could aisily do for thim did they but come as many as
+the shtraws in the thatch," and would-be robbers, no doubt understanding
+that fact, prudently consulted their own safety by staying away from the
+vicinity of her cabin.
+
+"Owld Moll," as she was known, was a power in the parish, and her help was
+sought in many emergencies. Did a cow go dry, Moll knew the reason and
+might possibly remove the spell; if a baby fell ill, Moll had an
+explanation of its ailment, and could tell at a glance whether the little
+one was or was not affected by the evil eye of a secret enemy. If a pig
+was stolen, she was shrewd in her conjectures as to the direction its
+wrathful owner must take in the search. But her forte lay in bringing
+about love-matches. Many were the charms at her command for this purpose,
+and equally numerous the successes with which she was accredited. Some
+particulars of her doings in this direction were furnished by Jerry
+Magwire, a jolly car-man of Galway, who had himself been benefited by her
+services.
+
+"Sure I was married meself be her manes," stated Jerry, "an' this is the
+way it was. Forty-nine years ago come next Mickelmas, I was a good-lookin'
+young felly, wid a nate cabin on the road from Ballinasloe to Ballinamore,
+havin' a fine câr an' a mare an' her colt, that was as good as two horses
+whin the colt grew up. I was afther payin' coort to Dora O'Callighan, that
+was the dawther av Misther O'Callighan that lived in the County Galway,
+an', be the same token, was a fine man. In thim times I used be comin'
+over here twict or three times a year wid a bagman, commercial thraveller,
+you'd call him, an' I heard say av Owld Moll, an' she wasn't owld thin,
+an' the next time I come, I wint to her an' got an inchantmint. Faix, some
+av it is gone from me, but I mind that I was to change me garthers, an'
+tie on me thumb a bit o' bark she gev me, an' go to the churchyard on
+Halloween, an' take the first chilla-ca-pooka (snail) I found on a
+tombshtone, an' begob, it was that same job that was like to be the death
+o' me, it bein' dark an' I bendin' to look clost, a hare jumped in me face
+from undher the shtone. 'Jagers,' says I, an' me fallin' on me back on the
+airth an' the life lavin' me. 'Presince o' God be about me,' says I, for I
+knewn the inchantmint wasn't right, no more I oughtn't to be at it, but
+the hare was skairt like meself an' run, an' I found the shnail an' run
+too wid the shweat pourin' aff me face in shtrames.
+
+"So I put the shnail in a plate that I covered wid another, an' av the
+Sunday, I opened it fur to see phat letters it writ, an' bad luck to the
+wan o' thim cud I rade at all, fur in thim days I cudn't tell A from any
+other letther. I tuk the plate to Misther O'Callighan, fur he was a fine
+scholar an' cud rade both books an' writin', an' axed him phat the letters
+was.
+
+"'A-a-ah, ye ignerant gommoch,' says he to me, 'yer head's as empty as a
+drum. Sure here's no writin' at all, only marks that the shnail's afther
+makin' an' it crawlin' on the plate.'
+
+"So I axplained the inchantmint to him, an' he looked a little closter,
+an' thin jumped wid shurprise.
+
+"'Oh,' says he. 'Is that thrue?' says he. 'Ye must axqueeze me, Misther
+Magwire. Sure the shnails does n't write a good hand, an' I'm an owld man
+an' me eyes dim, but I see it betther now. Faith, the first letter's a D,'
+says he, an' thin he shtudied awhile. 'An' the next is a O, an' thin
+there's a C,' says he, 'only the D an' the C is bigger than the O, an'
+that's all the letters there is,' says he.
+
+"'An' phat does thim letters shpell?' says I, bekase I did n't know.
+
+"'Ah, bad scran to 'em,' says he; 'there's thim cows in me field agin,'
+says he. 'Ax Dora, here she comes,' an' away he wint as she come in, an' I
+axed her phat D. O. C. shpelt; an' she towld me her name, an' I go bail
+she was surprised to find the shnail had writ thim letters on the plate,
+so we marr'd the next Sunday.
+
+"But Owld Moll is a knowledgeable woman an' has a power av shpells an'
+charms. There's Tim Gallagher, him as dhrives the public câr out o'
+Galway, he's bought his luck av her be the month, fur nigh on twinty year,
+barrin' wan month, that he forgot, an' that time he shpilt his load in the
+ditch an' kilt a horse, bein' too dhrunk to dhrive.
+
+"Whin me dawther Dora, that was named afther her mother, was ill afther
+she'd been to the dance, whin O'Hoolighan's Peggy was married to Paddy
+Noonan (she danced too hard in the cabin an' come home in the rain), me
+owld woman wint to Moll an' found that Dora had been cast wid an avil eye.
+So she gev her a tay to dhrink an' a charm to wear agin it, an' afther
+she'd dhrunk the tay an' put on the charm the faver lift her, an' she was
+well entirely.
+
+            [Illustration: AN' PHAT DOES THIM LETTERS SHPELL?]
+
+                    AN' PHAT DOES THIM LETTERS SHPELL?
+
+
+"Sure Moll towld me wan magpie manes sorrow, two manes luck, three manes a
+weddin', an' four manes death; an' didn't I see four o' thim the day o'
+the fair in Ennis whin O'Dougherty was laid out? An' whin O'Riley cut his
+arrum wid a bill-hook, an' the blood was runnin', didn't she tie a shtring
+on the arrum an' dip a raven's feather into the blood av a black cat's
+tail, an' shtop the bleedin'? An' didn't she bid me take care o' meself
+the day I met a red-headed woman afore dinner, an' it wasn't six months
+till I met the woman in the mornin', it a-rainin' an' ivery dhrop the full
+o' yer hat, an' me top-coat at home, an' that same night was I tuk wid the
+roomytics an' didn't shtir a toe fur a fortnight. Faix, she's an owld wan
+is Moll; phat she can't do isn't worth thryin'. If she goes fur to make a
+match, all the fathers in Ireland cudn't purvint it, an' it's no use o'
+their settin' theirselves agin her, fur her head's as long as a summer day
+an' as hard as a shillalee.
+
+"Did iver ye hear how she got a husband for owld Miss Rooney, the same
+that married Misther Dooley that kapes the Aygle Inn in Lisdoon Varna, an'
+tuk him clane away from the Widdy Mulligan an' two more widdys that were
+comin' down upon him like kites on a young rabbit?
+
+"Well, it's a mighty improvin' shtory, fur it shows that widdys can be
+baten whin they're afther a husband, that some doesn't belave, but they do
+say it takes a witch, the divil, an' an owld maid to do it, an' some think
+that all o' thim isn't aiquel to a widdy, aven if there's three o' thim
+an' but wan av her.
+
+"The razon av it is this. Widdy wimmin are like lobsthers, whin they wanst
+ketch holt, begob, they've no consate av lettin' go at all, but will
+shtick to ye tighter than a toe-nail, till ye've aither to marry thim or
+murther thim, that's the wan thing in the end; fur if ye marry thim ye're
+talked to death, an' if ye murther thim ye 're only dacintly hanged out o'
+the front dure o' the jail. Whin they're afther a husband, they're as busy
+as owld Nick, an' as much in airnest as a dog in purshoot av a flea.
+More-be-token, they're always lookin' fur the proper man, an' if they see
+wan that they think will shuit, bedad, they go afther him as strait as an
+arrer, an' if he doesn't take the alarum an' run like a shape-thief, the
+widdy 'ull have him afore the althar an' married fast an' tight while he'd
+be sayin' a Craydo.
+
+"They know so much be wan axpayrience av marryin', that, barrin' it's a
+widdy man that's in it, an' he knows as much as thimselves, they'll do for
+him at wanst, bekase it's well undhershtood that a bach'ler, aither young
+or owld, has as much show av outshtrappin' a widdy as a mouse agin a
+weasel.
+
+"Now, this Misther Dooley was an owld bach'ler, nigh on five an' thirty,
+an' about fifteen years ago, come next Advint, he come from Cork wid a bit
+o' money, an' tuk the farm beyant Misther McCoole's on the lift as ye come
+out o' Galway. He wasn't a bad lookin' felly, an' liked the ladies, an'
+the first time he was in chapel afther takin' the farm, aitch widdy an'
+owld maid set the two eyes av her on him, an' the Widdy Mulligan says to
+herself, says she, 'Faix, that's just the man to take the place av me dear
+Dinnis,' fur, ye see, the widdys always do spake that-a-way av their
+husbands, a-givin' thim the good word afther they're dead, so as to make
+up fur the tongue lashin's they give 'em whin they're alive. It's quare,
+so it is, phat widdys are like. Whin ye see a widdy at the wake schraimin'
+fit to shplit yer head wid the noise, an' flingin' herself acrass the
+grave at the berryin' like it was a bag o' male she was, an' thin spakin'
+all the time av 'me poor dear hushband,' I go bail they lived together as
+paceful as a barrel full o' cats an' dogs; no more is it sorrow that's in
+it, but raimorse that's tarin' at her, an' the shquailin' an' kickin' is
+beways av a pinnance fur the gostherin' she done him whin he was livin',
+fur the more there's in a jug, the less noise it makes runnin' out, an'
+whin ye've a heavy load to carry, ye nade all yer breath, an' so have none
+to waste tellin' how it's breakin' yer back.
+
+                    [Illustration: The Widdy Mulligan]
+
+"So it was wid the Widdy Mulligan, that kept the Shamrock Inn, for her
+Dinnis was a little ottomy av a gossoon, an' her the full av a dure, an'
+the arrum on her like a smith an' the fut like a leg o' mutton. Och, she
+was big enough thin, but she's a horse entirely now, wid the walk av a
+duck, an' the cheeks av her shakin' like a bowl av shtirabout whin she
+goes. Her poor Dinnis dar n't say his sowl belonged to him, but was
+conthrolled be her, an' they do say his last words were, 'I'll have pace,'
+that was phat he niver had afther he married her, fur she was wan that 'ud
+be shmilin' an' shmilin' an' the tongue av her like a razer. She'd a good
+bit o' property in the inn, siven beds in the house fur thravellers, an'
+six childher, the oldest nigh onto twelve, an' from him on down in reg'lar
+steps like thim in front o' the coort-house.
+
+                   [Illustration: The Widdy O'Donnell]
+                     [Illustration: Missis McMurthry]
+
+"Now, a bit up the shtrate from the Shamrock there was a little shop kept
+be Missis O'Donnell, the widdy av Tim O'Donnell, that died o' bein'
+mortified in his legs that broke be his fallin' aff his horse wan night
+whin he was comin' back from Athlone, where he'd been to a fair. Missis
+O'Donnell was a wapin' widdy, that's got eyes like a hydrant, where ye can
+turn on the wather whin ye plaze. Begorra, thim's the widdys that 'ull do
+fur anny man, fur no more can ye tell phat's in their minds be lookin' at
+their faces than phat kind av close they've got on be lookin' at their
+shadders, an' whin they corner a man that's tinder-hearted, an' give a shy
+look at him up out o' their eyes, an' thin look down an' sind two or three
+dhrops o' wather from undher their eye-lashers, the only salvation fur him
+is to get up an' run like it was a bag o' gunpowdher she was. So Missis
+O'Donnell, whin she seen Misther Dooley, tuk the same notion into her head
+that the Widdy Mulligan did, fur she'd two childher, a boy an' a gurrul,
+that were growin' up, an' the shop wasn't payin' well.
+
+"There was another widdy in it, the Widdy McMurthry, that aftherwards
+married a sargeant av the polis, an' lives in Limerick. She was wan o'
+thim frishky widdys that shtruts an' wears fine close an' puts on more
+airs than a paycock. She was a fine-lookin' woman thim times, an' had
+money in plinty that she got be marryin' McMurthry, that was owld enough
+to be a father to her an' died o' dhrinkin' too much whishkey at first,
+an' thin too much sulphur-wather at Lisdoon Varna to set him right agin.
+She was always ready wid an answer to ye, fur it was quick witted she was,
+wid slathers o' talk that didn't mane annything, an' a giggle that she
+didn't nade to hunt fur whin she wanted it to make a show wid. An' she'd a
+dawther that was a fine child, about siventeen, a good dale like her
+mother.
+
+"Now, Misther Dooley had a kind heart in his body fur wimmin in gineral,
+an' as he liked a bit o' chaff wid thim on all occashuns, he wasn't long
+in gettin' acquainted wid all the wimmin o' the parish, an' was well liked
+be thim, an', be the same token, wasn't be the men, fur men, be nacher,
+doesn't like a woman's man anny more than wimmin like a men's woman. But,
+afther a bit, he begun to centher himself on the three widdys, an' sorra
+the day' ud go by whin he come to town but phat he'd give wan or another
+o' thim a pace av his comp'ny that was very plazin' to thim. Bedad, he
+done that same very well, for he made a round av it for to kape thim in
+suspince. He'd set in the ale room o' the Shamrock an hour in the
+afthernoon an' chat wid the Widdy Mulligan as she was sarvin' the dhrink,
+an' shtop in the Widdy O'Donnell's shop as he was goin' by, to get a
+thrifle or a bit av shwates an' give to her childher beways av a
+complimint, an' thin go to Missis McMurthry's to tay, an' so got on well
+wid thim all. An' it's me belafe he'd be doin' that same to this blessed
+day only that the widdys begun to be pressin' as not likin' fur to wait
+anny longer. Fur, mind ye, a widdy's not like a young wan that'll wait fur
+ye to spake, an' if ye don't do it, 'ull go on foriver, or till she gets
+tired av waitin' an' takes some wan else that does spake, widout sayin' a
+word to ye at all; but the widdy 'ull be hintin' an' hintin', an' her
+hints 'ull be as shtrong as a donkey's kick, so that the head o' ye has to
+be harder than a pavin'-shtone if ye don't undhershtand, an' ye've got to
+have more impidince than a monkey if ye don't spake up an' say something
+about marryin'.
+
+"Well, as I was afther sayin', the widdys begun to be pressin' him clost:
+the Widdy Mulligan tellin' him how good her business was an' phat a savin'
+there'd be if a farm an' a public were put together; the Widdy O'Donnell
+a-lookin' at him out av her tears an' sighin' an' tellin' him how lonely
+he must be out on a farm an' nobody but a man wid him in the house, fur
+she was lonesome in town, an' it wasn't natheral at all, so it wasn't, fur
+aither man or woman to be alone; an' the Widdy McMurthry a palatherin' to
+him that if he'd a fine, good-lookin' woman that loved him, he'd be a
+betther man an' a changed man entirely. So they wint on, the widdys
+a-comin' at him, an' he thryin' to kape wid thim all, as he might have
+knewn he couldn't do (barrin' he married the three o' thim like a Turk),
+until aitch wan got to undhershtand, be phat he said to her, that he was
+goin' to marry her, an' the minnit they got this in their heads, aitch
+begged him that he'd shtay away from the other two, fur aitch knewn he
+wint to see thim all. By jayminy, it bothered him thin, fur he liked to
+talk to thim all aiquelly, an' didn't want to confine his agrayble comp'ny
+to anny wan o' thim. So he got out av it thish-a-way. He promised the
+Widdy McMurthry that he'd not go to the Shamrock more than wanst in the
+week, nor into the Widdy O'Donnell's barrin' he naded salt fur his cow;
+an' said to the Widdy Mulligan that he'd not more than spake to Missis
+O'Donnell whin he wint in, an' that he'd go no more at all to Missis
+McMurthry's; an' he towld Missis O'Donnell that whin he wint to the
+Shamrock he'd get his sup an' thin lave at wanst, an' not go to the Widdy
+McMurthry's axceptin' whin his horse wanted to be shod, the blacksmith's
+bein' ferninst her dure that it 'ud be convaynient fur him to wait at. So
+he shmiled wid himself thinkin' he'd done thim complately, an' made up his
+mind that whin his pitaties were dug he'd give up the farm an' get over
+into County Clare, away from the widdys.
+
+"But thim that think widdys are fools are desaved entirely, an' so was
+Misther Dooley, fur instead av his throubles bein' inded, begob, they were
+just begun. Ivery time he wint into the Shamrock Missis O'Donnell heard av
+it an' raymonshtrated wid him, an' 'ud cry at him beways it was dhrinkin'
+himself to death he was; afther lavin' the Shamrock, the Widdy Mulligan
+'ud set wan av her boys to watch him up the strate an' see if he shtopped
+in the shop. Av coorse he cudn't go by, an' whin he come agin, the Widdy
+Mulligan 'ud gosther him about it, an' thin he'd promise not to do it
+agin. No more cud he go in the Widdy O'Donnell's shop widout meetin'
+Missis McMurthry's dawther that was always shtreelin' on the strate, an'
+thin her mother 'ud say to him it was a power o' salt his cow was atin',
+an' the Widdy O'Donnell towld him his horse must be an axpensive baste fur
+to nade so much shooin'.
+
+"Thin he'd tell thim a lot o' lies that they purtinded to belave an'
+didn't, bekase they're such desavers thimselves that it isn't aisey fur to
+do thim, but Dooley begun to think if it got anny hotter fur him he'd lave
+the pitaties to the widdys to divide bechune thim as a raytribution fur
+the loss av himself, an' go to Clare widout delay.
+
+"While he'd this bother on him he got to know owld Miss Rooney, that lived
+wid her mother an' father on the farm next but wan to his own, but on the
+other side o' the way, an' the manes be which he got to know her was this.
+Wan mornin', whin Dooley's man, Paddy, wint to milk the cow, bad scran to
+the dhrop she'd to shpare, an' he pullin' an' pullin', like it was ringin'
+the chapel bell he was, an' she kickin', an' no milk comin', faix not as
+much as 'ud blind the eye av a midge. So he wint an' towld Misther Dooley.
+
+"'I can get no milk,' says he. 'Begorra the cow's as dhry as a fiddler's
+troat,' says he.
+
+"'Musha, thin,' says Misther Dooley, 'it's the lazy omadhawn ye are. I
+don't belave it. Can ye milk at all?' says he.
+
+"'I can,' says Paddy, 'as well as a calf,' says he. 'But phat's the use ov
+pullin'? Ye'd get the same quantity from a rope,' says he.
+
+"So Dooley wint out an' thried himself an' didn't get as much as a shmell
+of milk.
+
+"'Phat's the matther wid the baste?' says he, 'an' her on the grass from
+sun to sun.'
+
+"'Be jakers,' says Paddy, 'it's my consate that she's bewitched.'
+
+"'It's thrue fur ye,' says Dooley, as the like was aften knewn. 'Go you to
+Misther Rooney's wid the pail an' get milk fur the calf, an' ax if there's
+a Pishogue hereabouts.'
+
+"So Paddy wint an' come back sayin' that the young lady towld him there
+was.
+
+"'So there's a young lady in it,' thinks Dooley. Faix, the love av
+coortin' was shtrong on him. 'Did ye ax her how to raich the woman?'
+
+"'Bedad, I didn't. I forgot,' says Paddy.
+
+"'That's yerself entirely,' says Dooley to him agin. 'I'd betther thrust
+me arriants to a four-legged jackass as to wan wid two. He'd go twict as
+fast an' remimber as much. I'll go meself,' says he, only wantin' an
+axcuse, an' so he did. He found Miss Rooney thried to be plazin', an' it
+bein' convainient, he wint agin, an' so it was ivery day whin he'd go fur
+the calf's milk he'd have a chat wid her, an' sometimes come over in the
+avenin', bekase it wasn't healthy fur him in town just thin.
+
+"But he wint to Owld Moll about the cow, an' the charm she gev him soon
+made the baste all right agin, but, be that time, he'd got used to goin'
+to Rooney's an' liked it betther than the town, bekase whinever he wint to
+town he had to make so many axcuses he was afeared the widdys 'ud ketch
+him in a lie.
+
+"So he shtayed at home most times and wint over to Rooney's the rest, fur
+it wasn't a bad job at all, though she was about one an' forty, an' had
+give up the fight fur a husband an' so saiced strugglin'. As long as
+they've anny hope, owld maids are the most praypostherous craythers alive,
+fur they'll fit thimselves wid the thrappin's av a young gurrul an' look
+as onaisey in thim as a boy wid his father's britches on. But whin they've
+consinted to the sitiwation an' saiced to struggle, thin they begin to be
+happy an' enjoy life a bit, but there's no aise in the worruld fur thim
+till thin. Now Miss Rooney had gev up the contist an' plasthered her hair
+down on aitch side av her face so smooth ye'd shwear it was ironed it was,
+an' begun to take the worruld aisey.
+
+"But there's thim that says an owld maid niver does give up her hope, only
+lets on to be continted so as to lay in amboosh fur anny onsuspishus man
+that happens to shtray along, an' faix, it looks that-a-way from phat I'm
+goin' to tell ye, bekase as soon as Misther Dooley begun to come over an'
+palather his fine talk to her an' say shwate things, thin she up an'
+begins shtrugglin' harder nor iver, bekase it was afther she'd let go, an'
+comin' onexpected-like she thought it was a dispinsation av Providence,
+whin rayly it was only an accident it was, beways av Dooley's cow goin'
+dhry an' the calf too young to lave suckin' an' ate grass.
+
+"Annyhow, wan day, afther Misther Dooley had talked purty nice the avenin'
+afore, she put an her cloak, an' wint to Owld Moll an' in an' shut the
+dure.
+
+"'Now, Moll,' she says to the owld cuillean, 'it's a long time since I've
+been to ye, barrin' the time the goat was lost, fur, sure, I lost me
+confidince in ye. Ye failed me twict, wanst whin John McCune forgot me
+whin he wint to Derry an' thin come back an' married that Mary O'Niel, the
+impidint young shtrap, wid the hair av her as red as a glowin' coal; an'
+wanst whin Misther McFinnigan walked aff from me an' married the Widdy
+Bryan. Now ye must do yer besht, fur I'm thinkin' that, wid a little
+industhry, I cud get Misther Dooley, the same that the town widdys is so
+flusthrated wid.'
+
+"'An' does he come to see ye, at all?' says Moll.
+
+"'Faith he does, an' onless I'm mishtaken is mightily plazed wid his
+comp'ny whin it's me that's in it,' says Miss Rooney.
+
+"'An' phat widdys is in it,' says Moll, as she didn't know, bekase sorra a
+step did the widdys go to her wid their love doin's, as they naded no
+help, an' cud thransact thim affairs thimselves as long as their tongues
+held out.
+
+"So Miss Rooney towld her, an' Moll shuk her head. 'Jagers,' says she,
+'I'm afeared yer goose is cooked if all thim widdys is afther him. I won't
+thry,' says she.
+
+"But Miss Rooney was as much in airnest as the widdys, troth, I'm
+thinkin', more, bekase she was fairly aitchin' fur a husband now she'd got
+her mind on it.
+
+"'Sure, Moll,' says she, 'ye wouldn't desart me now an' it me last show.
+Thim widdys can marry who they plaze, bad scran to 'em, but if Misther
+Dooley gets from me, divil fly wid the husband I'll get at all, at all,'
+beginnin' to cry.
+
+"So, afther a dale av palatherin', Moll consinted to thry, bein' it was
+the third time Miss Rooney had been to her, besides, she wanted to save
+her charackther for a knowledgeable woman. So she aggrade to do her best,
+an' gev her a little bag to carry wid 'erbs in it, an' writ some words on
+two bits av paper an' the same in Latin. It was an awful charm, no more do
+I remimber it, fur it was niver towld me, nor to anny wan else, fur it was
+too dreadful to say axceptin' in Latin an' in a whisper fur fear the avil
+sper'ts 'ud hear it, that don't undhershtand thim dape langwidges.
+
+"'Now, darlint,' says owld Moll, a-givin' her wan, 'take you this charm
+an' kape it on you an' the bag besides, an' ye must manage so as this
+other paper 'ull be on Misther Dooley, an' if it fails an' he don't marry
+ye I'll give ye back yer money an' charge ye nothing at all,' says she.
+
+"So Miss Rooney tuk the charms an' paid Owld Moll one pound five, an' was
+to give her fifteen shillins more afther she was married to Dooley.
+
+"She wint home, bothered entirely how she'd get the charm on Dooley, an'
+the avenin' come, an' he wid it, an' shtill she didn't know. So he set an'
+talked an' talked, an' by an' by he dhrunk up the rest av the whiskey an'
+wather in his glass an' got up to go.
+
+"'Why, Misther Dooley,' says she, bein' all at wanst shtruck be an idee.
+'Was iver the like seen av yer coat?' says she. 'Sure it's tore in the
+back. Sit you down agin wan minnit an' I'll mend it afore ye can light yer
+pipe. Take it aff,' says she.
+
+"'Axqueeze me,' says Dooley. 'I may be a bigger fool than I look, or I may
+look a bigger fool than I am, but I know enough to kape the coat on me
+back whin I'm wid a lady,' says he.
+
+"'Then take a sate an' I'll sow it on ye,' says she to him agin, so he set
+down afore the fire, an' she, wid a pair av shizzors an' a nadle, wint
+behind him an' at the coat. 'Twas a sharp thrick av her, bekase she took
+the shizzors, an' whin she was lettin' on to cut aff the t'reads that she
+said were hangin', she ripped the collar, an' shlipped in the bit o'
+paper, an' sowed it up as nate as a samesthress in less than no time.
+
+"'It's much beholden to ye I am,' says Dooley, risin' wid his pipe lit.
+'An' it's a happy man I'd be if I'd a young woman av yer size to do the
+like to me ivery day.'
+
+"'Glory be to God,' says Miss Rooney to herself, fur she thought the charm
+was beginnin' to work. But she says to him, 'Oh, it's talkin' ye are. A
+fine man like you can marry who he plazes.'
+
+"So Dooley wint home, an' she, thinkin' the business as good as done,
+towld her mother that night she was to marry Misther Dooley. The owld lady
+cudn't contain herself or the saycret aither, so the next mornin' towld it
+to her sister, an' she to her dawther that wint to school wid Missis
+McMurthry's gurrul. Av coorse the young wan cudn't howld her jaw anny more
+than the owld wans, an' up an' towld the widdy's dawther an' she her
+mother an' the rest o' the town, so be the next day ivery wan knew that
+Dooley was goin' to marry Miss Rooney: that shows, if ye want to shpread a
+bit o' news wid a quickness aiquel to the tellygraph, ye've only to tell
+it to wan woman as a saycret.
+
+"Well, me dear, the noise the widdys made 'ud shtun a dhrummer. Dooley
+hadn't been in town fur a week, an' widdys bein' nacherly suspishus, they
+misthrusted that somethin' was wrong, but divil a wan o' thim thought he'd
+do such an onmannerly thrick as that. But they all belaved it, bekase
+widdys judge iverybody be themselves, so they were mighty mad.
+
+"The Widdy McMurthry was first to hear the news, as her dawther towld her,
+an' she riz in a fury. 'Oh the owdashus villin,' says she; 'to think av
+him comin' here an' me listenin' at him that was lyin' fasther than a
+horse 'ud throt. But I'll have justice, so I will, an' see if there's law
+for a lone widdy. I'll go to the judge,' fur, I forgot to tell ye, it was
+jail delivery an' the coort was settin' an' the judge down from Dublin wid
+a wig on him the size av a bar'l.
+
+"Whin they towld Missis O'Donnell, she bust out cryin' an' says, 'Sure it
+can't be thrue. It isn't in him to desave a poor widdy wid only two
+childher, an' me thrustin' on him,' so she wint into the back room an'
+laid on the bed.
+
+"But whin the Widdy Mulligan learned it, they thought she'd take a fit,
+the face av her got so red an' she chokin' wid rage. 'Tatther an' agers,'
+says she. 'If I only had that vagabone here five minnits, it's a long day
+it 'ud be afore he'd desave another tinder-hearted faymale.'
+
+"'Oh, be aisey,' says wan to her, 'faix, you're not the onliest wan that's
+in it. Sure there's the Widdy O'Donnell an' Missis McMurthry that he's
+desaved aiquelly wid yerself.'
+
+"'Is that thrue?' says she; 'by this an' by that I'll see thim an' we'll
+go to the judge an' have him in the prision. Sure the Quane's a widdy
+herself an' knows how it feels, an' her judge 'ull take the part av widdys
+that's misconshtrewed be a nagurly blaggârd like owld Dooley. Bad luck to
+the seed, breed, an' generation av him. I cud mop up the flure wid him,
+the divil roast him, an' if I lay me hands on him, I'll do it,' says she,
+an' so she would; an' a blessing it was to Misther Dooley he was not in
+town just thin, but at home, diggin' pitaties as fast as he cud, an'
+chucklin' to himself how he'd send the pitaties to town be Paddy, an'
+himself go to Clare an' get away from the whole tribe av widdys an' owld
+maids.
+
+"So the Widdy Mulligan wint afther the Widdy O'Donnell an' tuk her along,
+an' they towld thim av the Widdy McMurthry an' how she was done be him,
+an' they got her too, fur they all said, 'Sure we wouldn't marry him fur
+him, but only want to see him punished fur misconshtructing phat we said
+to him an' lying to us.' Be this time half the town was ready an' aiger to
+go wid thim to the coort, an' so they did, an' in, wid the offishers
+thryin' to kape thim out, an' the wimmin shovin' in, an' all their frinds
+wid 'em, an' the shur'f callin' out 'Ordher in the coort,' an' the judge
+lookin' over his shpectacles at thim.
+
+"'Phat's this at all?' says the judge, wid a solemnious voice. 'Is it a
+riat it is, or a faymale convulsion?'--whin he seen all the wimmin.
+'Phat's the matther?' says he, an' wid that all the wimmin begun at wanst,
+so as the noise av thim was aiquel to a 'viction.
+
+"'Marcy o' God,' says the judge, 'phat's in the faymales at all? Are they
+dishtracted entirely, or bewitched, or only dhrunk?' says he.
+
+"'We're crazy wid graif, yer Lordshap,' they schraimed at him at wanst.
+'It's justice we want agin the uppresser.'
+
+"'Phat's the uppresser been a-doin'?' axed the judge.
+
+"'Disthroyin' our pace, an' that av our families,' they said to him.
+
+"'Who is the uppresser?' he axed.
+
+"'Owld Dooley,' they all shouted at him at the wan time, like it was
+biddin' at an auction they were.
+
+"So at first the judge cudn't undhershtand at all, till some wan
+whishpered the truth to him an' thin he scrotched his chin wid a pen.
+
+"'Is it a man fur to marry all thim widdys? By me wig, he's a bowld wan.
+Go an' fetch him,' he says to a consthable. 'Be sated, ladies, an' ye'll
+have justice,' he says to the widdys, very p'lite. 'Turn out thim other
+blaggârds,' he says to the shur'f, an' away wint the polisman afther
+Dooley.
+
+"He found him at home, wid his coat aff, an' him an' Paddy diggin' away at
+the pitaties for dear life, bekase he wanted to get thim done.
+
+"'Misther Dooley,' says the consthable to him, 'ye're me prish'ner. Come
+along, ye must go wid me at wanst.'
+
+"At first, Dooley was surprised in that degray he thought the life 'ud
+lave him, as the consthable come up behind him on the quiet, so as to give
+him no show to run away.
+
+"'Phat for?' says Dooley to him, whin he'd got his wind agin.
+
+"'Faix, I'm not sartain,' says the polisman, that wasn't a bad felly; 'but
+I belave it's along o' thim widdys that are so fond o' ye. The three o'
+thim's in the coort an' all the faymales in town, an' the judge sint me
+afther ye, an' ye must come at wanst, so make ready to go immejitly.'
+
+"'Don't go wid him,' says Paddy, wid his sleeves rowled up an' spitting in
+his hands. 'Lave me at him,' says he, but Dooley wouldn't, bekase he was a
+paceable man. But he wasn't anxshus to go to the coort at all; begob, he'd
+all the coortin' he naded, but bein' there was no help fur it, he got his
+coat, the same that Miss Rooney sowed the charm in, an' shtarted wid the
+consthable.
+
+"Now, it was that mornin' that owld Rooney was in town, thryin' to sell a
+goat he had, that gev him no end o' throuble be losin' itself part of the
+time an' the rest be jumpin' on the thatch an' stickin' its feet through.
+But he cudn't sell it, as ivery wan knew the baste as well as himself, an'
+so he was sober, that wasn't common wid him. Whin he seen the widdys an'
+the other wimmin wid thim shtravigerin' through the strate on the way to
+the coort an' heard the phillaloo they were afther makin', he axed phat
+the matther was. So they towld him, an' says he, 'Be the powers, if it's a
+question av makin' him marry some wan, me dawther has an inthrust in the
+matther,' so he dhropped the goat's shtring an' shtarted home in a
+lamplighter's throt to fetch her, an' got there about the time the
+polisman nabbed Dooley.
+
+"'There, they're afther goin' now,' says he to her. 'Make haste, or we'll
+lose thim,' an' aff they run, she wid her charm an' he widout his coat,
+grippin' a shillalee in his fisht, an' caught up wid Paddy that was
+follerin' the polisman an' Dooley.
+
+"So they jogged along, comfortable enough, the polisman an' Dooley in the
+lade, afther thim owld Rooney an' Paddy, blaggârdin' the consthable ivery
+fut o' the way, an' offerin' fur to bate him so as he wouldn't know
+himself be lookin' in the glass, an' Miss Rooney in the rare, wondherin'
+if the charm 'ud work right. But Dooley didn't let a word out av his jaw,
+as knowin' he'd nade all his breath afther gettin' into the coort.
+
+"At the rise o' the hill the pursesshun was met be about a hunderd o' the
+town boys that come out fur to view thim, an' that yelled at Dooley how
+the widdys were waitin' to tare him in paces, an' that he was as good as a
+dead man a'ready, so he was; an' whin they got into town, all the men
+jined the show, roarin' wid laughter an' shoutin' at Dooley that the judge
+cudn't do anny more than hang him at wanst, an' to shtand it like a hayro,
+bekase they'd all be at the hangin' an' come to the wake besides an' have
+a tundherin' big time. But he answered thim niver a word, so they all wint
+on to the coort, an' in, bringin' the other half o' the town wid 'em, the
+faymale half bein' there kapin' comp'ny wid the widdys.
+
+"The minnit they come nie the dure, all the widdys an' wimmin begun in wan
+breath to make raimarks on thim.
+
+"'A-a-a-ah, the hang-dog face he has,' says Missis McMurthry. 'Sure hasn't
+he the look av a shape-thief on the road to the gallus?'
+
+"'See the haythen vagabone,' says the Widdy Mulligan. 'If I had me tin
+fingers on him for five minnits, it's all the satiswhackshun I'd ax. Bad
+cess to the hair I'd lave on the head av him or in his whushkers aither.'
+
+"But the Widdy O'Donnell only cried, an' all the wimmin turned their noses
+up whin they seen Miss Rooney comin' in.
+
+[Illustration: "OULD ROONEY AN' PADDY BLAGGARDIN' THE CONSTHABLE IVERY FUT
+                              O' THE WAY."]
+
+ "OULD ROONEY AN' PADDY BLAGGARDIN' THE CONSTHABLE IVERY FUT O' THE WAY."
+
+
+"'Look at that owld thing,' says they. 'Phat a power av impidince! Mind
+the consate av her to be comin' here wid him. Sure she hasn't the shame av
+a shtone monkey,' says they av her.
+
+"'Silence in the coort,' says the shur'f. 'Stop that laughin' be the dure.
+Git along down out o' thim windys,' says he to the mob that Dooley an' the
+consthable brought wid thim.
+
+"'Misther Dooley,' says the judge, 'I'm axed to b'lave ye're thryin' to
+marry four wimmin at wanst, three av the same aforeshed bein' widdys an'
+the other wan not. Is it thrue, or do ye plade not guilty?' says he.
+
+"'It's not thrue, yer Lordshap,' says Dooley, shpakin' up, bekase he seen
+he was in for it an' put on a bowld face. 'Thim widdys is crazy to get a
+husband, an' misconsayved the manin' o' me words,' says he, an' that
+minnit you'd think a faymale lunattic ashylum broke loose in the coort.
+
+"They all gabbled at wanst like a field av crows. They said he was a
+haythen, a Toork, a vulgar shpalpeen, a lyin' blaggârd, a uppresser av the
+widdy, a robber av the orphin, he was worse than a nagur, he was, so he
+was, an' they niver thought av belavin' him, nor av marryin' him aither
+till he axed thim, an' so on.
+
+"The judge was a married man himself an' knewn it was no use thryin' to
+shtop the gostherin,' for it was a joke av him to say that the differ
+bechuxt a woman an' a book was you cud shut up a book, so he let thim go
+on till they were spint an' out o' breath an' shtopped o' thimselves like
+an owld clock that's run down.
+
+"'The sintince av this coort, Misther Dooley, is, that ye marry wan av 'em
+an' make compinsation to the other wans in a paycoonyary way be payin'
+thim siven poun' aitch.'
+
+"'Have marcy, yer Lordshap,' says Dooley, bekase he seen himself shtripped
+av all he had. 'Make it five poun', an' that's more than I've got in
+money.'
+
+"'Siven pound, not a haporth less,' says the judge. 'If ye haven't the
+money ye can pay it in projuice. An' make yer chice bechune the wimmin who
+ye'll marry, as it's married ye'll be this blessed day, bekase ye've gone
+too long a'ready,' says the judge, very starn, an' thin the widdys all got
+quite, an' begun to be sorry they gev him so many hard names.
+
+"'Is it wan o' the widdys must I marry?' says Dooley, axin' the judge, an'
+the charm in his coller beginnin' to work hard an' remind him av Miss
+Rooney, that was settin' on wan side, trimblin'.
+
+"'Tare an' 'ouns,' says the judge. 'Bad luck to ye, ye onmannerly idjit,'
+as he was gettin' vexed wid Dooley, that was shtandin', scrotchin' the
+head av him like he was thryin' to encourage his brains. 'Wasn't it wan o'
+the wimmin that I tould ye to take?' says he.
+
+"'If that's phat yer Lordshap says, axin' yer pardin an' not misdoubtin'
+ye, if it's plazin' to ye, bedad, I'll take the owld maid, bekase thim
+widdys have got a sight av young wans, an' childher are like toothpicks,
+ivery man wants his own an' not another felly's.' But he had another razon
+that he towld to me afther; says he, 'If I've got to have a famly, be
+jakers, I want to have the raisin' av it meself,' an' my blessin' on him
+for that same.
+
+"But whin he was spakin' an' said he'd take Miss Rooney, wid that word she
+fainted away fur dead, an' was carried out o' the coort be her father an'
+Paddy.
+
+"So it was settled, an' as Dooley didn't have the money, the widdys
+aggrade to take their pay some other way. The Widdy Mulligan tuk the
+pitaties he was diggin' whin the polisman gripped him, as she said they'd
+kape the inn all winter. The Widdy McMurthry got his hay, which come
+convaynient, bekase her brother kep post horses an' tuk the hay av her at
+two shillins undher the market. Missis O'Donnell got the cow that made all
+the throuble be goin' dhry at the wrong time, an' bein' it was a good cow
+was vally'd at tin poun'; so she gev him three poun', an' was to sind him
+the calf whin it was weaned. So the widdys were all paid for bein' wounded
+in their hearts be Misther Dooley, an' a good bargain they made av it,
+bekase a widdy's affections are like gârden weeds, the more ye thrample
+thim the fasther they grow.
+
+"Misther Dooley got Miss Rooney, an' she a husband, fur they pulled her
+out av her faint wid a bucket o' wather, an' the last gossoon in town wint
+from the coort to the chapel wid Miss Rooney an' Misther Dooley, the
+latther crassin' himself ivery minnit an' blessin' God ivery step he tuk
+that it wasn't the jail he was goin' to, an' they were married there wid a
+roarin' crowd waitin' in the strate fur to show thim home. But they
+sarcumvinted thim, bekase they wint out the back way an' through Father
+O'Donohue's gârden, an' so home, lavin' the mob howlin' before the chapel
+dure like wild Ingines.
+
+"An' that's the way the owld maid defated three widdys, that isn't often
+done, no more would she have done it but for owld Moll an' the charm in
+Dooley's coat. But he's very well plazed, an' that I know, for afther me
+first wife died, her I was tellin' ye av, I got the roomytics in me back
+like tin t'ousand divils clawin' at me backbone, an' I made me mind up
+that I'd get another wife, bekase I wanted me back rubbed, sence it 'ull
+be chaper, says I, to marry some wan to rub it than to pay a boy to do
+that same. So I was lookin' roun' an' met Misther Dooley an' spake av it
+to him, an' good luck it 'ud have been if I'd tuk his advice, but I
+didn't, bein' surrounded be a widdy afther, that's rubbed me back well fur
+me only wid a shtick. But says he to me, 'Take you my advice Misther
+Magwire, an' whin ye marry, get you an owld maid, if there's wan to be had
+in the counthry. Gurruls is flighty an' axpectin' too much av ye, an'
+widdys is greedy buzzards as ye've seen be my axpayrience, but owld maids
+is humble, an' thankful for gettin' a husband at all, God bless 'em, so
+they shtrive to plaze an' do as ye bid thim widout grumblin' or axin'
+throublesome questions.'"
+
+             [Illustration: "A good bargain they made av it"]
+
+
+
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK IRISH WONDERS***
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