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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Miscellany of Men, by G. K. Chesterton
+#13 in our series by G. K. Chesterton
+
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+*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****
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+
+Title: A Miscellany of Men
+
+Author: G. K. Chesterton
+
+Release Date: December, 1999 [EBook #2015]
+[This file was last updated on February 22, 2003]
+
+Edition: 12
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MISCELLANY OF MEN ***
+
+
+
+
+This Etext prepared by Michael Pullen with proofreading assistance
+by Michael K. Johnson and Joe Moretti
+
+
+
+
+
+A MISCELLANY OF MEN
+
+By G. K. CHESTERTON
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+THE SUFFRAGIST
+THE POET AND THE CHEESE
+THE THING
+THE MAN WHO THINKS BACKWARDS
+THE NAMELESS MAN
+THE GARDENER AND THE GUINEA
+THE VOTER AND THE TWO VOICES
+THE MAD OFFICIAL
+THE ENCHANTED MAN
+THE SUN WORSHIPPER
+THE WRONG INCENDIARY
+THE FREE MAN
+THE HYPOTHETICAL HOUSEHOLDER
+THE PRIEST OF SPRING
+THE REAL JOURNALIST
+THE SENTIMENTAL SCOT
+THE SECTARIAN OF SOCIETY
+THE FOOL
+THE CONSCRIPT AND THE CRISIS
+THE MISER AND HIS FRIENDS
+THE MYSTAGOGUE
+THE RED REACTIONARY
+THE SEPARATIST AND SACRED THINGS
+THE MUMMER
+THE ARISTOCRATIC 'ARRY
+THE NEW THEOLOGIAN
+THE ROMANTIC IN THE RAIN
+THE FALSE PHOTOGRAPHER
+THE SULTAN
+THE ARCHITECT OF SPEARS
+THE MAN ON TOP
+THE OTHER KIND OF MAN
+THE MEDIAEVAL VILLAIN
+THE DIVINE DETECTIVE
+THE ELF OF JAPAN
+THE CHARTERED LIBERTINE
+THE CONTENTED MAN
+THE ANGRY AUTHOR: HIS FAREWELL
+
+
+
+
+THE SUFFRAGIST
+
+
+Rightly or wrongly, it is certain that a man both liberal and chivalric,
+can and very often does feel a dis-ease and distrust touching those
+political women we call Suffragettes. Like most other popular sentiments,
+it is generally wrongly stated even when it is rightly felt. One part of
+it can be put most shortly thus: that when a woman puts up her fists to a
+man she is putting herself in the only posture in which he is not afraid
+of her. He can be afraid of her speech and still more of her silence; but
+force reminds him of a rusted but very real weapon of which he has grown
+ashamed. But these crude summaries are never quite accurate in any matter
+of the instincts. For the things which are the simplest so long as they
+are undisputed invariably become the subtlest when once they are disputed:
+which was what Joubert meant, I suppose, when he said, "It is not hard to
+believe in God if one does not define Him." When the evil instincts of
+old Foulon made him say of the poor, "Let them eat grass," the good and
+Christian instincts of the poor made them hang him on a lamppost with his
+mouth stuffed full of that vegetation. But if a modern vegetarian
+aristocrat were to say to the poor, "But why don't you like grass?" their
+intelligences would be much more taxed to find such an appropriate
+repartee. And this matter of the functions of the sexes is primarily a
+matter of the instincts; sex and breathing are about the only two things
+that generally work best when they are least worried about. That, I
+suppose, is why the same sophisticated age that has poisoned the world
+with Feminism is also polluting it with Breathing Exercises. We plunge at
+once into a forest of false analogies and bad blundering history; while
+almost any man or woman left to themselves would know at least that sex is
+quite different from anything else in the world.
+
+There is no kind of comparison possible between a quarrel of man and woman
+(however right the woman may be) and the other quarrels of slave and
+master, of rich and poor, or of patriot and invader, with which the
+Suffragists deluge us every day. The difference is as plain as noon;
+these other alien groups never came into contact until they came into
+collision. Races and ranks began with battle, even if they afterwards
+melted into amity. But the very first fact about the sexes is that they
+like each other. They seek each other: and awful as are the sins and
+sorrows that often come of their mating, it was not such things that made
+them meet. It is utterly astounding to note the way in which modern
+writers and talkers miss this plain, wide, and overwhelming fact: one
+would suppose woman a victim and nothing else. By this account ideal,
+emancipated woman has, age after age, been knocked silly with a stone axe.
+But really there is no fact to show that ideal, emancipated woman was
+ever knocked silly; except the fact that she is silly. And that might
+have arisen in so many other ways. Real responsible woman has never been
+silly; and any one wishing to knock her would be wise (like the
+streetboys) to knock and run away. It is ultimately idiotic to compare
+this prehistoric participation with any royalties or rebellions. Genuine
+royalties wish to crush rebellions. Genuine rebels wish to destroy kings.
+The sexes cannot wish to abolish each other; and if we allow them any
+sort of permanent opposition it will sink into something as base as a
+party system.
+
+As marriage, therefore, is rooted in an aboriginal unity of instincts, you
+cannot compare it, even in its quarrels, with any of the mere collisions
+of separate institutions. You could compare it with the emancipation of
+negroes from planters--if it were true that a white man in early youth
+always dreamed of the abstract beauty of a black man. You could compare
+it with the revolt of tenants against a landlord--if it were true that
+young landlords wrote sonnets to invisible tenants. You could compare it
+to the fighting policy of the Fenians--if it were true that every normal
+Irishman wanted an Englishman to come and live with him. But as we know
+there are no instincts in any of these directions, these analogies are not
+only false but false on the cardinal fact. I do not speak of the
+comparative comfort or merit of these different things: I say they are
+different. It may be that love turned to hate is terribly common in
+sexual matters: it may be that hate turned to love is not uncommon in the
+rivalries of race or class. But any philosophy about the sexes that
+begins with anything but the mutual attraction of the sexes, begins with a
+fallacy; and all its historical comparisons are as irrelevant and
+impertinent as puns.
+
+But to expose such cold negation of the instincts is easy: to express or
+even half express the instincts is very hard. The instincts are very much
+concerned with what literary people call "style" in letters or more vulgar
+people call "style" in dress. They are much concerned with how a thing is
+done, as well as whether one may do it: and the deepest elements in their
+attraction or aversion can often only be conveyed by stray examples or
+sudden images. When Danton was defending himself before the Jacobin
+tribunal he spoke so loud that his voice was heard across the Seine, in
+quite remote streets on the other side of the river. He must have
+bellowed like a bull of Bashan. Yet none of us would think of that
+prodigy except as something poetical and appropriate. None of us would
+instinctively feel that Danton was less of a man or even less of a
+gentleman, for speaking so in such an hour. But suppose we heard that
+Marie Antoinette, when tried before the same tribunal, had howled so that
+she could be heard in the Faubourg St. Germain--well, I leave it to the
+instincts, if there are any left. It is not wrong to howl. Neither is it
+right. It is simply a question of the instant impression on the artistic
+and even animal parts of humanity, if the noise were heard suddenly like a
+gun.
+
+Perhaps the nearest verbal analysis of the instinct may be found in the
+gestures of the orator addressing a crowd. For the true orator must
+always be a demagogue: even if the mob be a small mob, like the French
+committee or the English House of Lords. And "demagogue," in the good
+Greek meaning, does not mean one who pleases the populace, but one who
+leads it: and if you will notice, you will see that all the instinctive
+gestures of oratory are gestures of military leadership; pointing the
+people to a path or waving them on to an advance. Notice that long sweep
+of the arm across the body and outward, which great orators use naturally
+and cheap orators artificially. It is almost the exact gesture of the
+drawing of a sword.
+
+The point is not that women are unworthy of votes; it is not even that
+votes are unworthy of women. It is that votes are unworthy of men, so
+long as they are merely votes; and have nothing in them of this ancient
+militarism of democracy. The only crowd worth talking to is the crowd
+that is ready to go somewhere and do something; the only demagogue worth
+hearing is he who can point at something to be done: and, if he points
+with a sword, will only feel it familiar and useful like an elongated
+finger. Now, except in some mystical exceptions which prove the rule,
+these are not the gestures, and therefore not the instincts, of women.
+No honest man dislikes the public woman. He can only dislike the
+political woman; an entirely different thing. The instinct has nothing to
+do with any desire to keep women curtained or captive: if such a desire
+exists. A husband would be pleased if his wife wore a gold crown and
+proclaimed laws from a throne of marble; or if she uttered oracles from
+the tripod of a priestess; or if she could walk in mystical motherhood
+before the procession of some great religious order. But that she should
+stand on a platform in the exact altitude in which he stands; leaning
+forward a little more than is graceful and holding her mouth open a little
+longer and wider than is dignified--well, I only write here of the facts
+of natural history; and the fact is that it is this, and not publicity or
+importance, that hurts. It is for the modern world to judge whether such
+instincts are indeed danger signals; and whether the hurting of moral as
+of material nerves is a tocsin and a warning of nature.
+
+
+
+
+THE POET AND THE CHEESE
+
+
+There is something creepy in the flat Eastern Counties; a brush of the
+white feather. There is a stillness, which is rather of the mind than of
+the bodily senses. Rapid changes and sudden revelations of scenery, even
+when they are soundless, have something in them analogous to a movement of
+music, to a crash or a cry. Mountain hamlets spring out on us with a
+shout like mountain brigands. Comfortable valleys accept us with open
+arms and warm words, like comfortable innkeepers. But travelling in the
+great level lands has a curiously still and lonely quality; lonely even
+when there are plenty of people on the road and in the market-place.
+One's voice seems to break an almost elvish silence, and something
+unreasonably weird in the phrase of the nursery tales, "And he went a
+little farther and came to another place," comes back into the mind.
+
+In some such mood I came along a lean, pale road south of the fens, and
+found myself in a large, quiet, and seemingly forgotten village. It was
+one of those places that instantly produce a frame of mind which, it may
+be, one afterwards decks out with unreal details. I dare say that grass
+did not really grow in the streets, but I came away with a curious
+impression that it did. I dare say the marketplace was not literally
+lonely and without sign of life, but it left the vague impression of being
+so. The place was large and even loose in design, yet it had the air of
+something hidden away and always overlooked. It seemed shy, like a big
+yokel; the low roofs seemed to be ducking behind the hedges and railings;
+and the chimneys holding their breath. I came into it in that dead hour
+of the afternoon which is neither after lunch nor before tea, nor anything
+else even on a half-holiday; and I had a fantastic feeling that I had
+strayed into a lost and extra hour that is not numbered in the twenty-four.
+
+I entered an inn which stood openly in the market-place yet was almost as
+private as a private house. Those who talk of "public-houses" as if they
+were all one problem would have been both puzzled and pleased with such a
+place. In the front window a stout old lady in black with an elaborate
+cap sat doing a large piece of needlework. She had a kind of comfortable
+Puritanism about her; and might have been (perhaps she was) the original
+Mrs. Grundy. A little more withdrawn into the parlour sat a tall, strong,
+and serious girl, with a face of beautiful honesty and a pair of scissors
+stuck in her belt, doing a small piece of needlework. Two feet behind
+them sat a hulking labourer with a humorous face like wood painted scarlet,
+with a huge mug of mild beer which he had not touched, and probably would
+not touch for hours. On the hearthrug there was an equally motionless cat;
+and on the table a copy of 'Household Words'.
+
+I was conscious of some atmosphere, still and yet bracing, that I had met
+somewhere in literature. There was poetry in it as well as piety; and yet
+it was not poetry after my particular taste. It was somehow at once solid
+and airy. Then I remembered that it was the atmosphere in some of
+Wordsworth's rural poems; which are full of genuine freshness and wonder,
+and yet are in some incurable way commonplace. This was curious; for
+Wordsworth's men were of the rocks and fells, and not of the fenlands or
+flats. But perhaps it is the clearness of still water and the mirrored
+skies of meres and pools that produces this crystalline virtue. Perhaps
+that is why Wordsworth is called a Lake Poet instead of a mountain poet.
+Perhaps it is the water that does it. Certainly the whole of that town
+was like a cup of water given at morning.
+
+After a few sentences exchanged at long intervals in the manner of rustic
+courtesy, I inquired casually what was the name of the town. The old lady
+answered that its name was Stilton, and composedly continued her
+needlework. But I had paused with my mug in air, and was gazing at her
+with a suddenly arrested concern. "I suppose," I said, "that it has
+nothing to do with the cheese of that name." "Oh, yes," she answered,
+with a staggering indifference, "they used to make it here."
+
+I put down my mug with a gravity far greater than her own. "But this
+place is a Shrine!" I said. "Pilgrims should be pouring into it from
+wherever the English legend has endured alive. There ought to be a
+colossal statue in the market-place of the man who invented Stilton cheese.
+There ought to be another colossal statue of the first cow who provided
+the foundations of it. There should be a burnished tablet let into the
+ground on the spot where some courageous man first ate Stilton cheese, and
+survived. On the top of a neighbouring hill (if there are any
+neighbouring hills) there should be a huge model of a Stilton cheese, made
+of some rich green marble and engraven with some haughty motto: I suggest
+something like 'Ver non semper viret; sed Stiltonia semper virescit.'"
+The old lady said, "Yes, sir," and continued her domestic occupations.
+
+After a strained and emotional silence, I said, "If I take a meal here
+tonight can you give me any Stilton?"
+
+"No, sir; I'm afraid we haven't got any Stilton," said the immovable one,
+speaking as if it were something thousands of miles away.
+
+"This is awful," I said: for it seemed to me a strange allegory of England
+as she is now; this little town that had lost its glory; and forgotten, so
+to speak, the meaning of its own name. And I thought it yet more symbolic
+because from all that old and full and virile life, the great cheese was
+gone; and only the beer remained. And even that will be stolen by the
+Liberals or adulterated by the Conservatives. Politely disengaging myself,
+I made my way as quickly as possible to the nearest large, noisy, and
+nasty town in that neighbourhood, where I sought out the nearest vulgar,
+tawdry, and avaricious restaurant.
+
+There (after trifling with beef, mutton, puddings, pies, and so on) I got
+a Stilton cheese. I was so much moved by my memories that I wrote a
+sonnet to the cheese. Some critical friends have hinted to me that my
+sonnet is not strictly new; that it contains "echoes" (as they express it)
+of some other poem that they have read somewhere. Here, at least, are the
+lines I wrote :
+
+SONNET TO A STILTON CHEESE
+
+
+Stilton, thou shouldst be living at this hour
+And so thou art. Nor losest grace thereby;
+England has need of thee, and so have I--
+She is a Fen. Far as the eye can scour,
+League after grassy league from Lincoln tower
+To Stilton in the fields, she is a Fen.
+Yet this high cheese, by choice of fenland men,
+Like a tall green volcano rose in power.
+
+Plain living and long drinking are no more,
+And pure religion reading 'Household Words',
+And sturdy manhood sitting still all day
+Shrink, like this cheese that crumbles to its core;
+While my digestion, like the House of Lords,
+The heaviest burdens on herself doth lay.
+
+I confess I feel myself as if some literary influence, something that has
+haunted me, were present in this otherwise original poem; but it is
+hopeless to disentangle it now.
+
+
+
+
+THE THING
+
+
+The wind awoke last night with so noble a violence that it was like the
+war in heaven; and I thought for a moment that the Thing had broken free.
+For wind never seems like empty air. Wind always sounds full and
+physical, like the big body of something; and I fancied that the Thing
+itself was walking gigantic along the great roads between the forests of
+beech.
+
+Let me explain. The vitality and recurrent victory of Christendom have
+been due to the power of the Thing to break out from time to time from its
+enveloping words and symbols. Without this power all civilisations tend
+to perish under a load of language and ritual. One instance of this we
+hear much in modern discussion: the separation of the form from the spirit
+of religion. But we hear too little of numberless other cases of the same
+stiffening and falsification; we are far too seldom reminded that just as
+church-going is not religion, so reading and writing are not knowledge,
+and voting is not self-government. It would be easy to find people in the
+big cities who can read and write quickly enough to be clerks, but who are
+actually ignorant of the daily movements of the sun and moon.
+
+The case of self-government is even more curious, especially as one
+watches it for the first time in a country district. Self-government arose
+among men (probably among the primitive men, certainly among the ancients)
+out of an idea which seems now too simple to be understood. The notion
+of self-government was not (as many modern friends and foes of it seem to
+think) the notion that the ordinary citizen is to be consulted as one
+consults an Encyclopaedia. He is not there to be asked a lot of fancy
+questions, to see how he answers them. He and his fellows are to be,
+within reasonable human limits, masters of their own lives. They shall
+decide whether they shall be men of the oar or the wheel, of the spade or
+the spear. The men of the valley shall settle whether the valley shall be
+devastated for coal or covered with corn and vines; the men of the town
+shall decide whether it shall be hoary with thatches or splendid with
+spires. Of their own nature and instinct they shall gather under a
+patriarchal chief or debate in a political market-place. And in case the
+word "man" be misunderstood, I may remark that in this moral atmosphere,
+this original soul of self-government, the women always have quite as much
+influence as the men. But in modern England neither the men nor the women
+have any influence at all. In this primary matter, the moulding of the
+landscape, the creation of a mode of life, the people are utterly impotent.
+They stand and stare at imperial and economic processes going on, as
+they might stare at the Lord Mayor's Show.
+
+Round about where I live, for instance, two changes are taking place which
+really affect the land and all things that live on it, whether for good or
+evil. The first is that the urban civilisation (or whatever it is) is
+advancing; that the clerks come out in black swarms and the villas advance
+in red battalions. The other is that the vast estates into which England
+has long been divided are passing out of the hands of the English gentry
+into the hands of men who are always upstarts and often actually
+foreigners.
+
+Now, these are just the sort of things with which self-government was
+really supposed to grapple. People were supposed to be able to indicate
+whether they wished to live in town or country, to be represented by a
+gentleman or a cad. I do not presume to prejudge their decision; perhaps
+they would prefer the cad; perhaps he is really preferable. I say that
+the filling of a man's native sky with smoke or the selling of his roof
+over his head illustrate the sort of things he ought to have some say in,
+if he is supposed to be governing himself. But owing to the strange trend
+of recent society, these enormous earthquakes he has to pass over and
+treat as private trivialities. In theory the building of a villa is as
+incidental as the buying of a hat. In reality it is as if all Lancashire
+were laid waste for deer forests; or as if all Belgium were flooded by the
+sea. In theory the sale of a squire's land to a moneylender is a minor
+and exceptional necessity. In reality it is a thing like a German
+invasion. Sometimes it is a German invasion.
+
+Upon this helpless populace, gazing at these prodigies and fates, comes
+round about every five years a thing called a General Election. It is
+believed by antiquarians to be the remains of some system of
+self-government; but it consists solely in asking the citizen questions
+about everything except what he understands. The examination paper of the
+Election generally consists of some such queries as these: "I. Are the
+green biscuits eaten by the peasants of Eastern Lithuania in your opinion
+fit for human food? II. Are the religious professions of the President of
+the Orange Free State hypocritical or sincere? III. Do you think that the
+savages in Prusso-Portuguese East Bunyipland are as happy and hygienic as
+the fortunate savages in Franco-British West Bunyipland? IV. Did the
+lost Latin Charter said to have been exacted from Henry III reserve the
+right of the Crown to create peers? V. What do you think of what America
+thinks of what Mr. Roosevelt thinks of what Sir Eldon Gorst thinks of the
+state of the Nile? VI. Detect some difference between the two persons in
+frock-coats placed before you at this election."
+
+Now, it never was supposed in any natural theory of self-government that
+the ordinary man in my neighbourhood need answer fantastic questions like
+these. He is a citizen of South Bucks, not an editor of 'Notes and
+Queries'. He would be, I seriously believe, the best judge of whether
+farmsteads or factory chimneys should adorn his own sky-line, of whether
+stupid squires or clever usurers should govern his own village. But these
+are precisely the things which the oligarchs will not allow him to touch
+with his finger. Instead, they allow him an Imperial destiny and divine
+mission to alter, under their guidance, all the things that he knows
+nothing about. The name of self-government is noisy everywhere: the Thing
+is throttled.
+
+The wind sang and split the sky like thunder all the night through; in
+scraps of sleep it filled my dreams with the divine discordances of
+martyrdom and revolt; I heard the horn of Roland and the drums of Napoleon
+and all the tongues of terror with which the Thing has gone forth: the
+spirit of our race alive. But when I came down in the morning only a
+branch or two was broken off the tree in my garden; and none of the great
+country houses in the neighbourhood were blown down, as would have
+happened if the Thing had really been abroad.
+
+
+
+
+THE MAN WHO THINKS BACKWARDS
+
+
+The man who thinks backwards is a very powerful person to-day: indeed, if
+he is not omnipotent, he is at least omnipresent. It is he who writes
+nearly all the learned books and articles, especially of the scientific or
+skeptical sort; all the articles on Eugenics and Social Evolution and
+Prison Reform and the Higher Criticism and all the rest of it. But
+especially it is this strange and tortuous being who does most of the
+writing about female emancipation and the reconsidering of marriage. For
+the man who thinks backwards is very frequently a woman.
+
+Thinking backwards is not quite easy to define abstractedly; and, perhaps,
+the simplest method is to take some object, as plain as possible, and from
+it illustrate the two modes of thought: the right mode in which all real
+results have been rooted; the wrong mode, which is confusing all our
+current discussions, especially our discussions about the relations of the
+sexes. Casting my eye round the room, I notice an object which is often
+mentioned in the higher and subtler of these debates about the sexes: I
+mean a poker. I will take a poker and think about it; first forwards and
+then backwards; and so, perhaps, show what I mean.
+
+The sage desiring to think well and wisely about a poker will begin
+somewhat as follows: Among the live creatures that crawl about this star
+the queerest is the thing called Man. This plucked and plumeless bird,
+comic and forlorn, is the butt of all the philosophies. He is the only
+naked animal; and this quality, once, it is said, his glory, is now his
+shame. He has to go outside himself for everything that he wants. He
+might almost be considered as an absent-minded person who had gone bathing
+and left his clothes everywhere, so that he has hung his hat upon the
+beaver and his coat upon the sheep. The rabbit has white warmth for a
+waistcoat, and the glow-worm has a lantern for a head. But man has no
+heat in his hide, and the light in his body is darkness; and he must look
+for light and warmth in the wild, cold universe in which he is cast.
+This is equally true of his soul and of his body; he is the one creature
+that has lost his heart as much as he has lost his hide. In a spiritual
+sense he has taken leave of his senses; and even in a literal sense he has
+been unable to keep his hair on. And just as this external need of his
+has lit in his dark brain the dreadful star called religion, so it has lit
+in his hand the only adequate symbol of it: I mean the red flower called
+Fire. Fire, the most magic and startling of all material things, is a
+thing known only to man and the expression of his sublime externalism. It
+embodies all that is human in his hearths and all that is divine on his
+altars. It is the most human thing in the world; seen across wastes of
+marsh or medleys of forest, it is veritably the purple and golden flag of
+the sons of Eve. But there is about this generous and rejoicing thing an
+alien and awful quality: the quality of torture. Its presence is life;
+its touch is death. Therefore, it is always necessary to have an
+intermediary between ourselves and this dreadful deity; to have a priest
+to intercede for us with the god of life and death; to send an ambassador
+to the fire. That priest is the poker. Made of a material more merciless
+and warlike than the other instruments of domesticity, hammered on the
+anvil and born itself in the flame, the poker is strong enough to enter
+the burning fiery furnace, and, like the holy children, not be consumed.
+In this heroic service it is often battered and twisted, but is the more
+honourable for it, like any other soldier who has been under fire.
+
+Now all this may sound very fanciful and mystical, but it is the right
+view of pokers, and no one who takes it will ever go in for any wrong view
+of pokers, such as using them to beat one's wife or torture one's children,
+or even (though that is more excusable) to make a policeman jump, as the
+clown does in the pantomime. He who has thus gone back to the beginning,
+and seen everything as quaint and new, will always see things in their
+right order, the one depending on the other in degree of purpose and
+importance: the poker for the fire and the fire for the man and the man
+for the glory of God.
+
+This is thinking forwards. Now our modern discussions about everything,
+Imperialism, Socialism, or Votes for Women, are all entangled in an
+opposite train of thought, which runs as follows:--A modern intellectual
+comes in and sees a poker. He is a positivist; he will not begin with any
+dogmas about the nature of man, or any day-dreams about the mystery of
+fire. He will begin with what he can see, the poker; and the first thing
+he sees about the poker is that it is crooked. He says, "Poor poker; it's
+crooked." Then he asks how it came to be crooked; and is told that there
+is a thing in the world (with which his temperament has hitherto left him
+unacquainted)--a thing called fire. He points out, very kindly and
+clearly, how silly it is of people, if they want a straight poker, to put
+it into a chemical combustion which will very probably heat and warp it.
+"Let us abolish fire," he says, "and then we shall have perfectly straight
+pokers. Why should you want a fire at all?" They explain to him that a
+creature called Man wants a fire, because he has no fur or feathers. He
+gazes dreamily at the embers for a few seconds, and then shakes his head.
+"I doubt if such an animal is worth preserving," he says. "He must
+eventually go under in the cosmic struggle when pitted against
+well-armoured and warmly protected species, who have wings and trunks and
+spires and scales and horns and shaggy hair. If Man cannot live without
+these luxuries, you had better abolish Man." At this point, as a rule, the
+crowd is convinced; it heaves up all its clubs and axes, and abolishes him.
+At least, one of him.
+
+Before we begin discussing our various new plans for the people's welfare,
+let us make a kind of agreement that we will argue in a straightforward
+way, and not in a tail-foremost way. The typical modern movements may be
+right; but let them be defended because they are right, not because they
+are typical modern movements. Let us begin with the actual woman or man
+in the street, who is cold; like mankind before the finding of fire. Do
+not let us begin with the end of the last red-hot discussion--like the end
+of a red hot poker. Imperialism may be right. But if it is right, it is
+right because England has some divine authority like Israel, or some human
+authority like Rome; not because we have saddled ourselves with South
+Africa, and don't know how to get rid of it. Socialism may be true. But
+if it is true, it is true because the tribe or the city can really declare
+all land to be common land, not because Harrod's Stores exist and the
+commonwealth must copy them. Female suffrage may be just. But if it is
+just, it is just because women are women, not because women are sweated
+workers and white slaves and all sorts of things that they ought never to
+have been. Let not the Imperialist accept a colony because it is there,
+nor the Suffragist seize a vote because it is lying about, nor the
+Socialist buy up an industry merely because it is for sale.
+
+Let us ask ourselves first what we really do want, not what recent legal
+decisions have told us to want, or recent logical philosophies proved
+that we must want, or recent social prophecies predicted that we shall
+some day want. If there must be a British Empire, let it be British, and
+not, in mere panic, American or Prussian. If there ought to be female
+suffrage, let it be female, and not a mere imitation as coarse as the male
+blackguard or as dull as the male clerk. If there is to be Socialism, let
+it be social; that is, as different as possible from all the big
+commercial departments of to-day. The really good journeyman tailor does
+not cut his coat according to his cloth; he asks for more cloth. The
+really practical statesman does not fit himself to existing conditions, he
+denounces the conditions as unfit. History is like some deeply planted
+tree which, though gigantic in girth, tapers away at last into tiny twigs;
+and we are in the topmost branches. Each of us is trying to bend the tree
+by a twig: to alter England through a distant colony, or to capture the
+State through a small State department, or to destroy all voting through a
+vote. In all such bewilderment he is wise who resists this temptation of
+trivial triumph or surrender, and happy (in an echo of the Roman poet) who
+remembers the roots of things.
+
+
+
+
+THE NAMELESS MAN
+
+
+There are only two forms of government the monarchy or personal government,
+and the republic or impersonal government. England is not a government;
+England is an anarchy, because there are so many kings. But there is one
+real advantage (among many real disadvantages) in the method of abstract
+democracy, and that is this: that under impersonal government politics are
+so much more personal. In France and America, where the State is an
+abstraction, political argument is quite full of human details--some might
+even say of inhuman details. But in England, precisely because we are
+ruled by personages, these personages do not permit personalities. In
+England names are honoured, and therefore names are suppressed. But in
+the republics, in France especially, a man can put his enemies' names into
+his article and his own name at the end of it.
+
+
+This is the essential condition of such candour. If we merely made our
+anonymous articles more violent, we should be baser than we are now. We
+should only be arming masked men with daggers instead of cudgels. And I,
+for one, have always believed in the more general signing of articles, and
+have signed my own articles on many occasions when, heaven knows, I had
+little reason to be vain of them. I have heard many arguments for
+anonymity; but they all seem to amount to the statement that anonymity is
+safe, which is just what I complain of. In matters of truth the fact that
+you don't want to publish something is, nine times out of ten, a proof
+that you ought to publish it.
+
+But there is one answer to my perpetual plea for a man putting his name to
+his writing. There is one answer, and there is only one answer, and it is
+never given. It is that in the modern complexity very often a man's name
+is almost as false as his pseudonym. The prominent person today is
+eternally trying to lose a name, and to get a title. For instance, we all
+read with earnestness and patience the pages of the 'Daily Mail', and
+there are times when we feel moved to cry, "Bring to us the man who
+thought these strange thoughts! Pursue him, capture him, take great care
+of him. Bring him back to us tenderly, like some precious bale of silk,
+that we may look upon the face of the man who desires such things to be
+printed. Let us know his name; his social and medical pedigree." But in
+the modern muddle (it might be said) how little should we gain if those
+frankly fatuous sheets were indeed subscribed by the man who had inspired
+them. Suppose that after every article stating that the Premier is a
+piratical Socialist there were printed the simple word "Northcliffe." What
+does that simple word suggest to the simple soul? To my simple soul
+(uninstructed otherwise) it suggests a lofty and lonely crag somewhere in
+the wintry seas towards the Orkheys or Norway; and barely clinging to the
+top of this crag the fortress of some forgotten chieftain. As it happens,
+of course, I know that the word does not mean this; it means another Fleet
+Street journalist like myself or only different from myself in so far as
+he has sought to secure money while I have sought to secure a jolly time.
+
+A title does not now even serve as a distinction: it does not distinguish.
+A coronet is not merely an extinguisher: it is a hiding-place.
+
+But the really odd thing is this. This false quality in titles does not
+merely apply to the new and vulgar titles, but to the old and historic
+titles also. For hundreds of years titles in England have been
+essentially unmeaning; void of that very weak and very human instinct in
+which titles originated. In essential nonsense of application there is
+nothing to choose between Northcliffe and Norfolk. The Duke of Norfolk
+means (as my exquisite and laborious knowledge of Latin informs me) the
+Leader of Norfolk. It is idle to talk against representative government
+or for it. All government is representative government until it begins to
+decay. Unfortunately (as is also evident) all government begins to decay
+the instant it begins to govern. All aristocrats were first meant as
+envoys of democracy; and most envoys of democracy lose no time in becoming
+aristocrats. By the old essential human notion, the Duke of Norfolk ought
+simply to be the first or most manifest of Norfolk men.
+
+I see growing and filling out before me the image of an actual Duke of
+Norfolk. For instance, Norfolk men all make their voices run up very high
+at the end of a sentence. The Duke of Norfolk's voice, therefore, ought
+to end in a perfect shriek. They often (I am told) end sentences with the
+word "together"; entirely irrespective of its meaning. Thus I shall
+expect the Duke of Norfolk to say: "I beg to second the motion together";
+or "This is a great constitutional question together." I shall expect him
+to know much about the Broads and the sluggish rivers above them; to know
+about the shooting of water-fowl, and not to know too much about anything
+else. Of mountains he must be wildly and ludicrously ignorant. He must
+have the freshness of Norfolk; nay, even the flatness of Norfolk. He must
+remind me of the watery expanses, the great square church towers and the
+long level sunsets of East England. If he does not do this, I decline to
+know him.
+
+I need not multiply such cases; the principle applies everywhere. Thus I
+lose all interest in the Duke of Devonshire unless he can assure me that
+his soul is filled with that strange warm Puritanism, Puritanism shot with
+romance, which colours the West Country. He must eat nothing but clotted
+cream, drink nothing but cider, reading nothing but 'Lorna Doone', and be
+unacquainted with any town larger than Plymouth, which he must regard with
+some awe, as the Central Babylon of the world. Again, I should expect the
+Prince of Wales always to be full of the mysticism and dreamy ardour of
+the Celtic fringe.
+
+Perhaps it may be thought that these demands are a little extreme; and
+that our fancy is running away with us. Nevertheless, it is not my Duke
+of Devonshire who is funny; but the real Duke of Devonshire. The point is
+that the scheme of titles is a misfit throughout: hardly anywhere do we
+find a modern man whose name and rank represent in any way his type, his
+locality, or his mode of life. As a mere matter of social comedy, the
+thing is worth noticing. You will meet a man whose name suggests a gouty
+admiral, and you will find him exactly like a timid organist: you will
+hear announced the name of a haughty and almost heathen grande dame, and
+behold the entrance of a nice, smiling Christian cook. These are light
+complications of the central fact of the falsification of all names and
+ranks. Our peers are like a party of mediaeval knights who should have
+exchanged shields, crests, and pennons. For the present rule seems to be
+that the Duke of Sussex may lawfully own the whole of Essex; and that the
+Marquis of Cornwall may own all the hills and valleys so long as they are
+not Cornish.
+
+The clue to all this tangle is as simple as it is terrible. If England is
+an aristocracy, England is dying. If this system IS the country, as some
+say, the country is stiffening into more than the pomp and paralysis of
+China. It is the final sign of imbecility in a people that it calls cats
+dogs and describes the sun as the moon--and is very particular about the
+preciseness of these pseudonyms. To be wrong, and to be carefully wrong,
+that is the definition of decadence. The disease called aphasia, in which
+people begin by saying tea when they mean coffee, commonly ends in their
+silence. Silence of this stiff sort is the chief mark of the powerful
+parts of modern society. They all seem straining to keep things in rather
+than to let things out. For the kings of finance speechlessness is
+counted a way of being strong, though it should rather be counted a way of
+being sly. By this time the Parliament does not parley any more than the
+Speaker speaks. Even the newspaper editors and proprietors are more
+despotic and dangerous by what they do not utter than by what they do. We
+have all heard the expression "golden silence." The expression "brazen
+silence" is the only adequate phrase for our editors. If we wake out of
+this throttled, gaping, and wordless nightmare, we must awake with a yell.
+The Revolution that releases England from the fixed falsity of its
+present position will be not less noisy than other revolutions. It will
+contain, I fear, a great deal of that rude accomplishment described among
+little boys as "calling names"; but that will not matter much so long as
+they are the right names.
+
+
+
+
+THE GARDENER AND THE GUINEA
+
+
+Strictly speaking, there is no such thing as an English Peasant. Indeed,
+the type can only exist in community, so much does it depend on
+cooperation and common laws. One must not think primarily of a French
+Peasant; any more than of a German Measle. The plural of the word is its
+proper form; you cannot have a Peasant till you have a peasantry. The
+essence of the Peasant ideal is equality; and you cannot be equal all by
+yourself.
+
+Nevertheless, because human nature always craves and half creates the
+things necessary to its happiness, there are approximations and
+suggestions of the possibility of such a race even here. The nearest
+approach I know to the temper of a Peasant in England is that of the
+country gardener; not, of course, the great scientific gardener attached
+to the great houses; he is a rich man's servant like any other. I mean
+the small jobbing gardener who works for two or three moderate-sized
+gardens; who works on his own; who sometimes even owns his house; and who
+frequently owns his tools. This kind of man has really some of the
+characteristics of the true Peasant--especially the characteristics that
+people don't like. He has none of that irresponsible mirth which is the
+consolation of most poor men in England. The gardener is even disliked
+sometimes by the owners of the shrubs and flowers; because (like Micaiah)
+he prophesies not good concerning them, but evil. The English gardener is
+grim, critical, self-respecting; sometimes even economical. Nor is this
+(as the reader's lightning wit will flash back at me) merely because the
+English gardener is always a Scotch gardener. The type does exist in pure
+South England blood and speech; I have spoken to the type. I was speaking
+to the type only the other evening, when a rather odd little incident
+occurred.
+
+It was one of those wonderful evenings in which the sky was warm and
+radiant while the earth was still comparatively cold and wet. But it is
+of the essence of Spring to be unexpected; as in that heroic and hackneyed
+line about coming "before the swallow dares." Spring never is Spring
+unless it comes too soon. And on a day like that one might pray, without
+any profanity, that Spring might come on earth as it was in heaven. The
+gardener was gardening. I was not gardening. It is needless to explain
+the causes of this difference; it would be to tell the tremendous history
+of two souls. It is needless because there is a more immediate
+explanation of the case: the gardener and I, if not equal in agreement,
+were at least equal in difference. It is quite certain that he would not
+have allowed me to touch the garden if I had gone down on my knees to him.
+And it is by no means certain that I should have consented to touch the
+garden if he had gone down on his knees to me. His activity and my
+idleness, therefore, went on steadily side by side through the long sunset
+hours.
+
+And all the time I was thinking what a shame it was that he was not
+sticking his spade into his own garden, instead of mine: he knew about the
+earth and the underworld of seeds, the resurrection of Spring and the
+flowers that appear in order like a procession marshalled by a herald.
+He possessed the garden intellectually and spiritually, while I only
+possessed it politically. I know more about flowers than coal-owners know
+about coal; for at least I pay them honour when they are brought above the
+surface of the earth. I know more about gardens than railway shareholders
+seem to know about railways: for at least I know that it needs a man to
+make a garden; a man whose name is Adam. But as I walked on that grass my
+ignorance overwhelmed me--and yet that phrase is false, because it
+suggests something like a storm from the sky above. It is truer to say
+that my ignorance exploded underneath me, like a mine dug long before; and
+indeed it was dug before the beginning of the ages. Green bombs of bulbs
+and seeds were bursting underneath me everywhere; and, so far as my
+knowledge went, they had been laid by a conspirator. I trod quite
+uneasily on this uprush of the earth; the Spring is always only a fruitful
+earthquake. With the land all alive under me I began to wonder more and
+more why this man, who had made the garden, did not own the garden. If I
+stuck a spade into the ground, I should be astonished at what I found
+there...and just as I thought this I saw that the gardener was astonished
+too.
+
+Just as I was wondering why the man who used the spade did not profit by
+the spade, he brought me something he had found actually in my soil. It
+was a thin worn gold piece of the Georges, of the sort which are called, I
+believe, Spade Guineas. Anyhow, a piece of gold.
+
+If you do not see the parable as I saw it just then, I doubt if I can
+explain it just now. He could make a hundred other round yellow fruits:
+and this flat yellow one is the only sort that I can make. How it came
+there I have not a notion--unless Edmund Burke dropped it in his hurry to
+get back to Butler's Court. But there it was: this is a cold recital of
+facts. There may be a whole pirate's treasure lying under the earth there,
+for all I know or care; for there is no interest in a treasure without a
+Treasure Island to sail to. If there is a treasure it will never be found,
+for I am not interested in wealth beyond the dreams of avarice since I
+know that avarice has no dreams, but only insomnia. And, for the other
+party, my gardener would never consent to dig up the garden.
+
+Nevertheless, I was overwhelmed with intellectual emotions when I saw that
+answer to my question; the question of why the garden did not belong to
+the gardener. No better epigram could be put in reply than simply putting
+the Spade Guinea beside the Spade. This was the only underground seed
+that I could understand. Only by having a little more of that dull,
+battered yellow substance could I manage to be idle while he was active.
+I am not altogether idle myself; but the fact remains that the power is in
+the thin slip of metal we call the Spade Guinea, not in the strong square
+and curve of metal which we call the Spade. And then I suddenly
+remembered that as I had found gold on my ground by accident, so richer
+men in the north and west counties had found coal in their ground, also by
+accident.
+
+I told the gardener that as he had found the thing he ought to keep it,
+but that if he cared to sell it to me it could be valued properly, and
+then sold. He said at first, with characteristic independence, that he
+would like to keep it. He said it would make a brooch for his wife. But
+a little later he brought it back to me without explanation. I could not
+get a ray of light on the reason of his refusal; but he looked lowering
+and unhappy. Had he some mystical instinct that it is just such
+accidental and irrational wealth that is the doom of all peasantries?
+Perhaps he dimly felt that the boy's pirate tales are true; and that
+buried treasure is a thing for robbers and not for producers. Perhaps he
+thought there was a curse on such capital: on the coal of the coal-owners,
+on the gold of the gold-seekers. Perhaps there is.
+
+
+
+
+THE VOTER AND THE TWO VOICES
+
+
+The real evil of our Party System is commonly stated wrong. It was stated
+wrong by Lord Rosebery, when he said that it prevented the best men from
+devoting themselves to politics, and that it encouraged a fanatical
+conflict. I doubt whether the best men ever would devote themselves to
+politics. The best men devote themselves to pigs and babies and things
+like that. And as for the fanatical conflict in party politics, I wish
+there was more of it. The real danger of the two parties with their two
+policies is that they unduly limit the outlook of the ordinary citizen.
+They make him barren instead of creative, because he is never allowed to
+do anything except prefer one existing policy to another. We have not got
+real Democracy when the decision depends upon the people. We shall have
+real Democracy when the problem depends upon the people. The ordinary man
+will decide not only how he will vote, but what he is going to vote about.
+
+It is this which involves some weakness in many current aspirations
+towards the extension of the suffrage; I mean that, apart from all
+questions of abstract justice, it is not the smallness or largeness of the
+suffrage that is at present the difficulty of Democracy. It is not the
+quantity of voters, but the quality of the thing they are voting about. A
+certain alternative is put before them by the powerful houses and the
+highest political class. Two roads are opened to them; but they must go
+down one or the other. They cannot have what they choose, but only which
+they choose. To follow the process in practice we may put it thus. The
+Suffragettes--if one may judge by their frequent ringing of his bell--want
+to do something to Mr. Asquith. I have no notion what it is. Let us say
+(for the sake of argument) that they want to paint him green. We will
+suppose that it is entirely for that simple purpose that they are always
+seeking to have private interviews with him; it seems as profitable as any
+other end that I can imagine to such an interview. Now, it is possible
+that the Government of the day might go in for a positive policy of
+painting Mr. Asquith green; might give that reform a prominent place in
+their programme. Then the party in opposition would adopt another policy,
+not a policy of leaving Mr. Asquith alone (which would be considered
+dangerously revolutionary), but some alternative course of action, as, for
+instance, painting him red. Then both sides would fling themselves on the
+people, they would both cry that the appeal was now to the Caesar of
+Democracy. A dark and dramatic air of conflict and real crisis would
+arise on both sides; arrows of satire would fly and swords of eloquence
+flame. The Greens would say that Socialists and free lovers might well
+want to paint Mr. Asquith red; they wanted to paint the whole town red.
+Socialists would indignantly reply that Socialism was the reverse of
+disorder, and that they only wanted to paint Mr. Asquith red so that he
+might resemble the red pillar-boxes which typified State control. The
+Greens would passionately deny the charge so often brought against them by
+the Reds; they would deny that they wished Mr. Asquith green in order that
+he might be invisible on the green benches of the Commons, as certain
+terrified animals take the colour of their environment.
+
+There would be fights in the street perhaps, and abundance of ribbons,
+flags, and badges, of the two colours. One crowd would sing, "Keep the
+Red Flag Flying," and the other, "The Wearing of the Green." But when the
+last effort had been made and the last moment come, when two crowds were
+waiting in the dark outside the public building to hear the declaration of
+the poll, then both sides alike would say that it was now for democracy to
+do exactly what it chose. England herself, lifting her head in awful
+loneliness and liberty, must speak and pronounce judgment. Yet this
+might not be exactly true. England herself, lifting her head in awful
+loneliness and liberty, might really wish Mr. Asquith to be pale blue.
+The democracy of England in the abstract, if it had been allowed to make
+up a policy for itself, might have desired him to be black with pink spots.
+It might even have liked him as he is now. But a huge apparatus of
+wealth, power, and printed matter has made it practically impossible for
+them to bring home these other proposals, even if they would really prefer
+them. No candidates will stand in the spotted interest; for candidates
+commonly have to produce money either from their own pockets or the
+pasty's; and in such circles spots are not worn. No man in the social
+position of a Cabinet Minister, perhaps, will commit himself to the
+pale-blue theory of Mr. Asquith; therefore it cannot be a Government
+measure, therefore it cannot pass.
+
+Nearly all the great newspapers, both pompous and frivolous, will declare
+dogmatically day after day, until every one half believes it, that red and
+green are the only two colours in the paint-box. THE OBSERVER will say:
+"No one who knows the solid framework of politics or the emphatic first
+principles of an Imperial people can suppose for a moment that there is
+any possible compromise to be made in such a matter; we must either fulfill
+our manifest racial destiny and crown the edifice of ages with the august
+figure of a Green Premier, or we must abandon our heritage, break our
+promise to the Empire, fling ourselves into final anarchy, and allow the
+flaming and demoniac image of a Red Premier to hover over our dissolution
+and our doom." The DAILY MAIL would say: "There is no halfway house in
+this matter; it must be green or red. We wish to see every honest
+Englishman one colour or the other." And then some funny man in the
+popular Press would star the sentence with a pun, and say that the DAILY
+MAIL liked its readers to be green and its paper to be read. But no one
+would even dare to whisper that there is such a thing as yellow.
+
+For the purposes of pure logic it is clearer to argue with silly examples
+than with sensible ones: because silly examples are simple. But I could
+give many grave and concrete cases of the kind of thing to which I refer.
+In the later part of the Boer War both parties perpetually insisted in
+every speech and pamphlet that annexation was inevitable and that it was
+only a question whether Liberals or Tories should do it. It was not
+inevitable in the least; it would have been perfectly easy to make peace
+with the Boers as Christian nations commonly make peace with their
+conquered enemies. Personally I think that it would have been better for
+us in the most selfish sense, better for our pocket and prestige, if we
+had never effected the annexation at all; but that is a matter of opinion.
+What is plain is that it was not inevitable; it was not, as was said,
+the only possible course; there were plenty of other courses; there were
+plenty of other colours in the box. Again, in the discussion about
+Socialism, it is repeatedly rubbed into the public mind that we must
+choose between Socialism and some horrible thing that they call
+Individualism. I don't know what it means, but it seems to mean that
+anybody who happens to pull out a plum is to adopt the moral philosophy of
+the young Horner--and say what a good boy he is for helping himself.
+
+It is calmly assumed that the only two possible types of society are a
+Collectivist type of society and the present society that exists at this
+moment and is rather like an animated muck-heap. It is quite unnecessary
+to say that I should prefer Socialism to the present state of things. I
+should prefer anarchism to the present state of things. But it is simply
+not the fact that Collectivism is the only other scheme for a more equal
+order. A Collectivist has a perfect right to think it the only sound
+scheme; but it is not the only plausible or possible scheme. We might
+have peasant proprietorship; we might have the compromise of Henry George;
+we might have a number of tiny communes; we might have co-operation; we
+might have Anarchist Communism; we might have a hundred things. I am not
+saying that any of these are right, though I cannot imagine that any of
+them could be worse than the present social madhouse, with its top-heavy
+rich and its tortured poor; but I say that it is an evidence of the stiff
+and narrow alternative offered to the civic mind, that the civic mind is
+not, generally speaking, conscious of these other possibilities. The
+civic mind is not free or alert enough to feel how much it has the world
+before it. There are at least ten solutions of the Education question,
+and no one knows which Englishmen really want. For Englishmen are only
+allowed to vote about the two which are at that moment offered by the
+Premier and the Leader of the Opposition. There are ten solutions of the
+drink question; and no one knows which the democracy wants; for the
+democracy is only allowed to fight about one Licensing Bill at a time.
+
+So that the situation comes to this: The democracy has a right to answer
+questions, but it has no right to ask them. It is still the political
+aristocracy that asks the questions. And we shall not be unreasonably
+cynical if we suppose that the political aristocracy will always be rather
+careful what questions it asks. And if the dangerous comfort and
+self-flattery of modern England continues much longer there will be less
+democratic value in an English election than in a Roman saturnalia of
+slaves. For the powerful class will choose two courses of action, both of
+them safe for itself, and then give the democracy the gratification of
+taking one course or the other. The lord will take two things so much
+alike that he would not mind choosing from them blindfold--and then for a
+great jest he will allow the slaves to choose.
+
+
+
+
+THE MAD OFFICIAL
+
+
+Going mad is the slowest and dullest business in the world. I have very
+nearly done it more than once in my boyhood, and so have nearly all my
+friends, born under the general doom of mortals, but especially of moderns;
+I mean the doom that makes a man come almost to the end of thinking
+before he comes to the first chance of living.
+
+But the process of going mad is dull, for the simple reason that a man
+does not know that it is going on. Routine and literalism and a certain
+dry-throated earnestness and mental thirst, these are the very atmosphere
+of morbidity. If once the man could become conscious of his madness, he
+would cease to be man. He studies certain texts in Daniel or cryptograms
+in Shakespeare through monstrously magnifying spectacles, which are on his
+nose night and day. If once he could take off the spectacles he would
+smash them. He deduces all his fantasies about the Sixth Seal or the
+Anglo-Saxon Race from one unexamined and invisible first principle. If
+he could once see the first principle, he would see that it is not there.
+
+This slow and awful self-hypnotism of error is a process that can occur
+not only with individuals, but also with whole societies. It is hard to
+pick out and prove; that is why it is hard to cure. But this mental
+degeneration may be brought to one test, which I truly believe to be a
+real test. A nation is not going mad when it does extravagant things, so
+long as it does them in an extravagant spirit. Crusaders not cutting
+their beards till they found Jerusalem, Jacobins calling each other
+Harmodius and Epaminondas when their names were Jacques and Jules, these
+are wild things, but they were done in wild spirits at a wild moment.
+
+But whenever we see things done wildly, but taken tamely, then the State
+is growing insane. For instance, I have a gun license. For all I know,
+this would logically allow me to fire off fifty-nine enormous field-guns
+day and night in my back garden. I should not be surprised at a man doing
+it; for it would be great fun. But I should be surprised at the
+neighbours putting up with it, and regarding it as an ordinary thing
+merely because it might happen to fulfill the letter of my license.
+
+Or, again, I have a dog license; and I may have the right (for all I know)
+to turn ten thousand wild dogs loose in Buckinghamshire. I should not be
+surprised if the law were like that; because in modern England there is
+practically no law to be surprised at. I should not be surprised even at
+the man who did it; for a certain kind of man, if he lived long under the
+English landlord system, might do anything. But I should be surprised at
+the people who consented to stand it. I should, in other words, think the
+world a little mad if the incident, were received in silence.
+
+Now things every bit as wild as this are being received in silence every
+day. All strokes slip on the smoothness of a polished wall. All blows
+fall soundless on the softness of a padded cell. For madness is a passive
+as well as an active state: it is a paralysis, a refusal of the nerves to
+respond to the normal stimuli, as well as an unnatural stimulation. There
+are commonwealths, plainly to be distinguished here and there in history,
+which pass from prosperity to squalor, or from glory to insignificance, or
+from freedom to slavery, not only in silence, but with serenity. The face
+still smiles while the limbs, literally and loathsomely, are dropping from
+the body. These are peoples that have lost the power of astonishment at
+their own actions. When they give birth to a fantastic fashion or a
+foolish law, they do not start or stare at the monster they have brought
+forth. They have grown used to their own unreason; chaos is their cosmos;
+and the whirlwind is the breath of their nostrils. These nations are
+really in danger of going off their heads en masse; of becoming one vast
+vision of imbecility, with toppling cities and crazy country-sides, all
+dotted with industrious lunatics. One of these countries is modern
+England.
+
+Now here is an actual instance, a small case of how our social conscience
+really works: tame in spirit, wild in result, blank in realisation; a
+thing without the light of mind in it. I take this paragraph from a daily
+paper:--"At Epping, yesterday, Thomas Woolbourne, a Lambourne labourer,
+and his wife were summoned for neglecting their five children. Dr. Alpin
+said he was invited by the inspector of the N.S.P.C.C. to visit
+defendants' cottage. Both the cottage and the children were dirty. The
+children looked exceedingly well in health, but the conditions would be
+serious in case of illness. Defendants were stated to be sober. The man
+was discharged. The woman, who said she was hampered by the cottage
+having no water supply and that she was ill, was sentenced to six weeks'
+imprisonment. The sentence caused surprise, and the woman was removed
+crying, 'Lord save me!'"
+
+I know no name for this but Chinese. It calls up the mental picture of
+some archaic and changeless Eastern Court, in which men with dried faces
+and stiff ceremonial costumes perform some atrocious cruelty to the
+accompaniment of formal proverbs and sentences of which the very meaning
+has been forgotten. In both cases the only thing in the whole farrago
+that can be called real is the wrong. If we apply the lightest touch of
+reason to the whole Epping prosecution it dissolves into nothing.
+
+I here challenge any person in his five wits to tell me what that woman
+was sent to prison for. Either it was for being poor, or it was for being
+ill. Nobody could suggest, nobody will suggest, nobody, as a matter of
+fact, did suggest, that she had committed any other crime. The doctor was
+called in by a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. Was
+this woman guilty of cruelty to children? Not in the least. Did the
+doctor say she was guilty of cruelty to children? Not in the least. Was
+these any evidence even remotely bearing on the sin of cruelty? Not a rap.
+The worse that the doctor could work himself up to saying was that
+though the children were "exceedingly" well, the conditions would be
+serious in case of illness. If the doctor will tell me any conditions
+that would be comic in case of illness, I shall attach more weight to his
+argument.
+
+Now this is the worst effect of modern worry. The mad doctor has gone mad.
+He is literally and practically mad; and still he is quite literally and
+practically a doctor. The only question is the old one, Quis docebit
+ipsum doctorem? Now cruelty to children is an utterly unnatural thing;
+instinctively accursed of earth and heaven. But neglect of children is a
+natural thing; like neglect of any other duty, it is a mere difference of
+degree that divides extending arms and legs in calisthenics and extending
+them on the rack. It is a mere difference of degree that separates any
+operation from any torture. The thumb-screw can easily be called Manicure.
+Being pulled about by wild horses can easily be called Massage. The
+modern problem is not so much what people will endure as what they will
+not endure. But I fear I interrupt.... The boiling oil is boiling; and
+the Tenth Mandarin is already reciting the "Seventeen Serious Principles
+and the Fifty-three Virtues of the Sacred Emperor."
+
+
+
+
+THE ENCHANTED MAN
+
+
+When I arrived to see the performance of the Buckinghamshire Players, who
+acted Miss Gertrude Robins's POT LUCK at Naphill a short time ago, it is
+the distressing, if scarcely surprising, truth that I entered very late.
+This would have mattered little, I hope, to any one, but that late comers
+had to be forced into front seats. For a real popular English audience
+always insists on crowding in the back part of the hall; and (as I have
+found in many an election) will endure the most unendurable taunts rather
+than come forward. The English are a modest people; that is why they are
+entirely ruled and run by the few of them that happen to be immodest. In
+theatrical affairs the fact is strangely notable; and in most playhouses
+we find the bored people in front and the eager people behind.
+
+As far as the performance went I was quite the reverse of a bored person;
+but I may have been a boring person, especially as I was thus required to
+sit in the seats of the scornful. It will be a happy day in the dramatic
+world when all ladies have to take off their hats and all critics have to
+take off their heads. The people behind will have a chance then. And as
+it happens, in this case, I had not so much taken off my head as lost it.
+I had lost it on the road; on that strange journey that was the cause of
+my coming in late. I have a troubled recollection of having seen a very
+good play and made a very bad speech; I have a cloudy recollection of
+talking to all sorts of nice people afterwards, but talking to them
+jerkily and with half a head, as a man talks when he has one eye on a
+clock.
+
+And the truth is that I had one eye on an ancient and timeless clock, hung
+uselessly in heaven; whose very name has passed into a figure for such
+bemused folly. In the true sense of an ancient phrase, I was moonstruck.
+A lunar landscape a scene of winter moonlight had inexplicably got in
+between me and all other scenes. If any one had asked me I could not have
+said what it was; I cannot say now. Nothing had occurred to me; except
+the breakdown of a hired motor on the ridge of a hill. It was not an
+adventure; it was a vision.
+
+I had started in wintry twilight from my own door; and hired a small car
+that found its way across the hills towards Naphill. But as night
+blackened and frost brightened and hardened it I found the way
+increasingly difficult; especially as the way was an incessant ascent.
+Whenever we topped a road like a staircase it was only to turn into a yet
+steeper road like a ladder.
+
+At last, when I began to fancy that I was spirally climbing the Tower of
+Babel in a dream, I was brought to fact by alarming noises, stoppage, and
+the driver saying that "it couldn't be done." I got out of the car and
+suddenly forgot that I had ever been in it.
+
+From the edge of that abrupt steep I saw something indescribable, which I
+am now going to describe. When Mr. Joseph Chamberlain delivered his great
+patriotic speech on the inferiority of England to the Dutch parts of South
+Africa, he made use of the expression "the illimitable veldt." The word
+"veldt" is Dutch, and the word "illimitable" is Double Dutch. But the
+meditative statesman probably meant that the new plains gave him a sense
+of largeness and dreariness which he had never found in England. Well,
+if he never found it in England it was because he never looked for it in
+England. In England there is an illimitable number of illimitable veldts.
+I saw six or seven separate eternities in cresting as many different
+hills. One cannot find anything more infinite than a finite horizon, free
+and lonely and innocent. The Dutch veldt may be a little more desolate
+than Birmingham. But I am sure it is not so desolate as that English hill
+was, almost within a cannon-shot of High Wycombe.
+
+I looked across a vast and voiceless valley straight at the moon, as if at
+a round mirror. It may have been the blue moon of the proverb; for on
+that freezing night the very moon seemed blue with cold. A deathly frost
+fastened every branch and blade to its place. The sinking and softening
+forests, powdered with a gray frost, fell away underneath me into an abyss
+which seemed unfathomable. One fancied the world was soundless only
+because it was bottomless: it seemed as if all songs and cries had been
+swallowed in some unresisting stillness under the roots of the hills. I
+could fancy that if I shouted there would be no echo; that if I hurled
+huge stones there would be no noise of reply. A dumb devil had bewitched
+the landscape: but that again does not express the best or worst of it.
+All those hoary and frosted forests expressed something so inhuman that it
+has no human name. A horror of unconsciousness lay on them; that is the
+nearest phrase I know. It was as if one were looking at the back of the
+world; and the world did not know it. I had taken the universe in the
+rear. I was behind the scenes. I was eavesdropping upon an unconscious
+creation.
+
+I shall not express what the place expressed. I am not even sure that it
+is a thing that ought to be expressed. There was something heathen about
+its union of beauty and death; sorrow seemed to glitter, as it does in
+some of the great pagan poems. I understood one of the thousand poetical
+phrases of the populace, "a God-forsaken place." Yet something was
+present there; and I could not yet find the key to my fixed impression.
+Then suddenly I remembered the right word. It was an enchanted place.
+It had been put to sleep. In a flash I remembered all the fairy-tales
+about princes turned to marble and princesses changed to snow. We were in
+a land where none could strive or cry out; a white nightmare. The moon
+looked at me across the valley like the enormous eye of a hypnotist; the
+one white eye of the world.
+
+There was never a better play than POT LUCK; for it tells a tale with a
+point and a tale that might happen any day among English peasants. There
+were never better actors than the local Buckinghamshire Players: for they
+were acting their own life with just that rise into exaggeration which is
+the transition from life to art. But all the time I was mesmerised by the
+moon; I saw all these men and women as enchanted things. The poacher shot
+pheasants; the policeman tracked pheasants; the wife hid pheasants; they
+were all (especially the policeman) as true as death. But there was
+something more true to death than true to life about it all: the figures
+were frozen with a magic frost of sleep or fear or custom such as does not
+cramp the movements of the poor men of other lands. I looked at the
+poacher and the policeman and the gun; then at the gun and the policeman
+and the poacher; and I could find no name for the fancy that haunted and
+escaped me. The poacher believed in the Game Laws as much as the
+policeman. The poacher's wife not only believed in the Game Laws, but
+protected them as well as him. She got a promise from her husband that he
+would never shoot another pheasant. Whether he kept it I doubt; I fancy
+he sometimes shot a pheasant even after that. But I am sure he never shot
+a policeman. For we live in an enchanted land.
+
+
+
+
+THE SUN WORSHIPPER
+
+
+There is a shrewd warning to be given to all people who are in revolt.
+And in the present state of things, I think all men are revolting in that
+sense; except a few who are revolting in the other sense. But the warning
+to Socialists and other revolutionaries is this: that as sure as fate, if
+they use any argument which is atheist or materialistic, that argument
+will always be turned against them at last by the tyrant and the slave.
+To-day I saw one too common Socialist argument turned Tory, so to speak,
+in a manner quite startling and insane. I mean that modern doctrine,
+taught, I believe, by most followers of Karl Marx, which is called the
+materialist theory of history. The theory is, roughly, this: that all the
+important things in history are rooted in an economic motive. In short,
+history is a science; a science of the search for food.
+
+Now I desire, in passing only, to point out that this is not merely untrue,
+but actually the reverse of the truth. It is putting it too feebly to
+say that the history of man is not only economic. Man would not have any
+history if he were only economic. The need for food is certainly
+universal, so universal that it is not even human. Cows have an economic
+motive, and apparently (I dare not say what ethereal delicacies may be in
+a cow) only an economic motive. The cow eats grass anywhere and never
+eats anything else. In short, the cow does fulfill the materialist theory
+of history: that is why the cow has no history. "A History of Cows" would
+be one of the simplest and briefest of standard works. But if some cows
+thought it wicked to eat long grass and persecuted all who did so; if the
+cow with the crumpled horn were worshipped by some cows and gored to death
+by others; if cows began to have obvious moral preferences over and above
+a desire for grass, then cows would begin to have a history. They would
+also begin to have a highly unpleasant time, which is perhaps the same
+thing.
+
+The economic motive is not merely not inside all history; it is actually
+outside all history. It belongs to Biology or the Science of Life; that
+is, it concerns things like cows, that are not so very much alive. Men
+are far too much alive to get into the science of anything; for them we
+have made the art of history. To say that human actions have depended on
+economic support is like saying that they have depended on having two legs.
+It accounts for action, but not for such varied action; it is a
+condition, but not a motive; it is too universal to be useful. Certainly
+a soldier wins the Victoria Cross on two legs; he also runs away on two
+legs. But if our object is to discover whether he will become a V.C. or a
+coward the most careful inspection of his legs will yield us little or no
+information. In the same way a man will want food if he is a dreamy
+romantic tramp, and will want food if he is a toiling and sweating
+millionaire. A man must be supported on food as he must be supported on
+legs. But cows (who have no history) are not only furnished more
+generously in the matter of legs, but can see their food on a much grander
+and more imaginative scale. A cow can lift up her eyes to the hills and
+see uplands and peaks of pure food. Yet we never see the horizon broken
+by crags of cake or happy hills of cheese.
+
+So far the cow (who has no history) seems to have every other advantage.
+But history--the whole point of history--precisely is that some two legged
+soldiers ran away while others, of similar anatomical structure, did not.
+The whole point of history precisely is: some people (like poets and
+tramps) chance getting money by disregarding it, while others (such as
+millionaires) will absolutely lose money for the fun of bothering about it.
+There would be no history if there were only economic history. All the
+historical events have been due to the twists and turns given to the
+economic instinct by forces that were not economic. For instance, this
+theory traces the French war of Edward III to a quarrel about the French
+wines. Any one who has even smelt the Middle Ages must feel fifty answers
+spring to his lips; but in this cause one will suffice. There would have
+been no such war, then, if we all drank water like cows. But when one is
+a man one enters the world of historic choice. The act of drinking wine
+is one that requires explanation. So is the act of not drinking wine.
+
+But the capitalist can get much more fun out of the doctrine.
+
+When strikes were splitting England right and left a little while ago, an
+ingenious writer, humorously describing himself as a Liberal, said that
+they were entirely due to the hot weather. The suggestion was eagerly
+taken up by other creatures of the same kind, and I really do not see why
+it was not carried farther and applied to other lamentable uprisings in
+history. Thus, it is a remarkable fact that the weather is generally
+rather warm in Egypt; and this cannot but throw a light on the sudden and
+mysterious impulse of the Israelites to escape from captivity. The
+English strikers used some barren republican formula (and as the
+definitions of the medieval schoolmen), some academic shibboleth about
+being free men and not being forced to work except for a wage accepted by
+them. Just in the same way the Israelites in Egypt employed some dry
+scholastic quibble about the extreme difficulty of making bricks with
+nothing to make them of. But whatever fantastic intellectual excuses they
+may have put forward for their strange and unnatural conduct in walking
+out when the prison door was open, there can be no doubt that the real
+cause was the warm weather. Such a climate notoriously also produces
+delusions and horrible fancies, such as Mr. Kipling describes. And it
+was while their brains were disordered by the heat that the Jews fancied
+that they were founding a nation, that they were led by a prophet, and, in
+short, that they were going to be of some importance in the affairs of the
+world.
+
+Nor can the historical student fail to note that the French monarchy was
+pulled down in August; and that August is a month in summer.
+
+In spite of all this, however, I have some little difficulty myself in
+accepting so simple a form of the Materialist Theory of History (at these
+words all Marxian Socialists will please bow their heads three times), and
+I rather think that exceptions might be found to the principle. Yet it is
+not chiefly such exceptions that embarrass my belief in it.
+
+No; my difficulty is rather in accounting for the strange coincidence by
+which the shafts of Apollo split us exclusively along certain lines of
+class and of economics. I cannot understand why all solicitors did not
+leave off soliciting, all doctors leave off doctoring, all judges leave
+off judging, all benevolent bankers leave off lending money at high
+interest, and all rising politicians leave off having nothing to add to
+what their right honourable friend told the House about eight years ago.
+The quaint theoretic plea of the workers, that they were striking because
+they were ill paid, seems to receive a sort of wild and hazy confirmation
+from the fact that, throughout the hottest weather, judges and other
+persons who are particularly well paid showed no disposition to strike.
+I have to fall back therefore on metaphysical fancies of my own; and I
+continue to believe that the anger of the English poor (to steal a phrase
+from Sir Thomas Browne) came from something in man that is other than the
+elements and that owes no homage unto the sun.
+
+When comfortable people come to talking stuff of that sort, it is really
+time that the comfortable classes made a short summary and confession of
+what they have really done with the very poor Englishman. The dawn of the
+mediaeval civilisation found him a serf; which is a different thing from a
+slave. He had security; although the man belonged to the land rather than
+the land to the man. He could not be evicted; his rent could not be
+raised. In practice, it came to something like this: that if the lord
+rode down his cabbages he had not much chance of redress; but he had the
+chance of growing more cabbages. He had direct access to the means of
+production.
+
+Since then the centuries in England have achieved something different; and
+something which, fortunately, is perfectly easy to state. There is no
+doubt about what we have done. We have kept the inequality, but we have
+destroyed the security. The man is not tied to the land, as in serfdom;
+nor is the land tied to the man, as in a peasantry. The rich man has
+entered into an absolute ownership of farms and fields; and (in the modern
+industrial phrase) he has locked out the English people. They can only
+find an acre to dig or a house to sleep in by accepting such competitive
+and cruel terms as he chooses to impose.
+
+Well, what would happen then, over the larger parts of the planet, parts
+inhabited by savages? Savages, of course, would hunt and fish. That
+retreat for the English poor was perceived; and that retreat was cut off.
+Game laws were made to extend over districts like the Arctic snows or the
+Sahara. The rich man had property over animals he had no more dreamed of
+than a governor of Roman Africa had dreamed of a giraffe. He owned all
+the birds that passed over his land: he might as well have owned all the
+clouds that passed over it. If a rabbit ran from Smith's land to Brown's
+land, it belonged to Brown, as if it were his pet dog. The logical
+answer to this would be simple: Any one stung on Brown's land ought to be
+able to prosecute Brown for keeping a dangerous wasp without a muzzle.
+
+Thus the poor man was forced to be a tramp along the roads and to sleep in
+the open. That retreat was perceived; and that retreat was cut off. A
+landless man in England can be punished for behaving in the only way that
+a landless man can behave: for sleeping under a hedge in Surrey or on a
+seat on the Embankment. His sin is described (with a hideous sense of
+fun) as that of having no visible means of subsistence.
+
+The last possibility, of course, is that upon which all human beings would
+fall back if they were sinking in a swamp or impaled on a spike or
+deserted on an island. It is that of calling out for pity to the passerby.
+That retreat was perceived; and that retreat was cut off. A man in
+England can be sent to prison for asking another man for help in the name
+of God.
+
+You have done all these things, and by so doing you have forced the poor
+to serve the rich, and to serve them on the terms of the rich. They have
+still one weapon left against the extremes of insult and unfairness: that
+weapon is their numbers and the necessity of those numbers to the working
+of that vast and slavish machine. And because they still had this last
+retreat (which we call the Strike), because this retreat was also
+perceived, there was talk of this retreat being also cut off. Whereupon
+the workmen became suddenly and violently angry; and struck at your Boards
+and Committees here, there, and wherever they could. And you opened on
+them the eyes of owls, and said, "It must be the sunshine." You could only
+go on saying, "The sun, the sun." That was what the man in Ibsen said,
+when he had lost his wits.
+
+
+
+
+THE WRONG INCENDIARY
+
+
+I stood looking at the Coronation Procession--I mean the one in
+Beaconsfield; not the rather elephantine imitation of it which, I believe,
+had some success in London--and I was seriously impressed. Most of my
+life is passed in discovering with a deathly surprise that I was quite
+right. Never before have I realised how right I was in maintaining that
+the small area expresses the real patriotism: the smaller the field the
+taller the tower. There were things in our local procession that did not
+(one might even reverently say, could not) occur in the London procession.
+One of the most prominent citizens in our procession (for instance) had
+his face blacked. Another rode on a pony which wore pink and blue
+trousers. I was not present at the Metropolitan affair, and therefore my
+assertion is subject to such correction as the eyewitness may always offer
+to the absentee. But I believe with some firmness that no such features
+occurred in the London pageant.
+
+But it is not of the local celebration that I would speak, but of
+something that occurred before it. In the field beyond the end of my
+garden the materials for a bonfire had been heaped; a hill of every kind
+of rubbish and refuse and things that nobody wants; broken chairs, dead
+trees, rags, shavings, newspapers, new religions, in pamphlet form,
+reports of the Eugenic Congress, and so on. All this refuse, material and
+mental, it was our purpose to purify and change to holy flame on the day
+when the King was crowned. The following is an account of the rather
+strange thing that really happened. I do not know whether it was any sort
+of symbol; but I narrate it just as it befell.
+
+In the middle of the night I woke up slowly and listened to what I
+supposed to be the heavy crunching of a cart-wheel along a road of loose
+stones. Then it grew louder, and I thought somebody was shooting out
+cartloads of stones; then it seemed as if the shock was breaking big
+stones into pieces. Then I realised that under this sound there was also
+a strange, sleepy, almost inaudible roar; and that on top of it every now
+and then came pigmy pops like a battle of penny pistols. Then I knew what
+it was. I went to the window; and a great firelight flung across two
+meadows smote me where I stood. "Oh, my holy aunt," I thought, "they've
+mistaken the Coronation Day."
+
+And yet when I eyed the transfigured scene it did not seem exactly like a
+bonfire or any ritual illumination. It was too chaotic, and too close to
+the houses of the town. All one side of a cottage was painted pink with
+the giant brush of flame; the next side, by contrast, was painted as black
+as tar. Along the front of this ran a blackening rim or rampart edged
+with a restless red ribbon that danced and doubled and devoured like a
+scarlet snake; and beyond it was nothing but a deathly fulness of light.
+
+I put on some clothes and went down the road; all the dull or startling
+noises in that din of burning growing louder and louder as I walked. The
+heaviest sound was that of an incessant cracking and crunching, as if some
+giant with teeth of stone was breaking up the bones of the world. I had
+not yet come within sight of the real heart and habitat of the fire; but
+the strong red light, like an unnatural midnight sunset, powdered the
+grayest grass with gold and flushed the few tall trees up to the last
+fingers of their foliage. Behind them the night was black and cavernous;
+and one could only trace faintly the ashen horizon beyond the dark and
+magic Wilton Woods. As I went, a workman on a bicycle shot a rood past me;
+then staggered from his machine and shouted to me to tell him where the
+fire was. I answered that I was going to see, but thought it was the
+cottages by the wood-yard. He said, "My God!" and vanished.
+
+A little farther on I found grass and pavement soaking and flooded, and
+the red and yellow flames repainted in pools and puddles. Beyond were dim
+huddles of people and a small distant voice shouting out orders. The
+fire-engines were at work. I went on among the red reflections, which
+seemed like subterranean fires; I had a singular sensation of being in a
+very important dream. Oddly enough, this was increased when I found that
+most of my friends and neighbours were entangled in the crowd. Only in
+dreams do we see familiar faces so vividly against a black background of
+midnight. I was glad to find (for the workman cyclist's sake) that the
+fire was not in the houses by the wood-yard, but in the wood-yard itself.
+There was no fear for human life, and the thing was seemingly accidental;
+though there were the usual ugly whispers about rivalry and revenge. But
+for all that I could not shake off my dream-drugged soul a swollen, tragic,
+portentous sort of sensation, that it all had something to do with the
+crowning of the English King, and the glory or the end of England. It was
+not till I saw the puddles and the ashes in broad daylight next morning
+that I was fundamentally certain that my midnight adventure had not
+happened outside this world.
+
+But I was more arrogant than the ancient Emperors Pharaoh or
+Nebuchadnezzar; for I attempted to interpret my own dream. The fire was
+feeding upon solid stacks of unused beech or pine, gray and white piles of
+virgin wood. It was an orgy of mere waste; thousands of good things were
+being killed before they had ever existed. Doors, tables, walkingsticks,
+wheelbarrows, wooden swords for boys, Dutch dolls for girls I could hear
+the cry of each uncreated thing as it expired in the flames. And then I
+thought of that other noble tower of needless things that stood in the
+field beyond my garden; the bonfire, the mountain of vanities, that is
+meant for burning; and how it stood dark and lonely in the meadow, and the
+birds hopped on its corners and the dew touched and spangled its twigs.
+And I remembered that there are two kinds of fires, the Bad Fire and the
+Good Fire the last must surely be the meaning of Bonfire. And the paradox
+is that the Good Fire is made of bad things, of things that we do not want;
+but the Bad Fire is made of good things, of things that we do want; like
+all that wealth of wood that might have made dolls and chairs and tables,
+but was only making a hueless ash.
+
+And then I saw, in my vision, that just as there are two fires, so there
+are two revolutions. And I saw that the whole mad modern world is a race
+between them. Which will happen first--the revolution in which bad things
+shall perish, or that other revolution, in which good things shall perish
+also? One is the riot that all good men, even the most conservative,
+really dream of, when the sneer shall be struck from the face of the
+well-fed; when the wine of honour shall be poured down the throat of
+despair; when we shall, so far as to the sons of flesh is possible, take
+tyranny and usury and public treason and bind them into bundles and burn
+them. And the other is the disruption that may come prematurely,
+negatively, and suddenly in the night; like the fire in my little town.
+
+It may come because the mere strain of modern life is unbearable; and in
+it even the things that men do desire may break down; marriage and fair
+ownership and worship and the mysterious worth of man. The two
+revolutions, white and black, are racing each other like two railway
+trains; I cannot guess the issue...but even as I thought of it, the
+tallest turret of the timber stooped and faltered and came down in a
+cataract of noises. And the fire, finding passage, went up with a spout
+like a fountain. It stood far up among the stars for an instant, a
+blazing pillar of brass fit for a pagan conqueror, so high that one could
+fancy it visible away among the goblin trees of Burnham or along the
+terraces of the Chiltern Hills.
+
+
+
+
+THE FREE MAN
+
+
+The idea of liberty has ultimately a religious root; that is why men find
+it so easy to die for and so difficult to define. It refers finally to
+the fact that, while the oyster and the palm tree have to save their lives
+by law, man has to save his soul by choice. Ruskin rebuked Coleridge for
+praising freedom, and said that no man would wish the sun to be free. It
+seems enough to answer that no man would wish to be the sun. Speaking as
+a Liberal, I have much more sympathy with the idea of Joshua stopping the
+sun in heaven than with the idea of Ruskin trotting his daily round in
+imitation of its regularity. Joshua was a Radical, and his astronomical
+act was distinctly revolutionary. For all revolution is the mastering of
+matter by the spirit of man, the emergence of that human authority within
+us which, in the noble words of Sir Thomas Browne, "owes no homage unto
+the sun."
+
+Generally, the moral substance of liberty is this: that man is not meant
+merely to receive good laws, good food or good conditions, like a tree in
+a garden, but is meant to take a certain princely pleasure in selecting
+and shaping like the gardener. Perhaps that is the meaning of the trade
+of Adam. And the best popular words for rendering the real idea of
+liberty are those which speak of man as a creator. We use the word "make"
+about most of the things in which freedom is essential, as a country walk
+or a friendship or a love affair. When a man "makes his way" through a
+wood he has really created, he has built a road, like the Romans. When a
+man "makes a friend," he makes a man. And in the third case we talk of a
+man "making love," as if he were (as, indeed, he is) creating new masses
+and colours of that flaming material an awful form of manufacture. In its
+primary spiritual sense, liberty is the god in man, or, if you like the
+word, the artist.
+
+In its secondary political sense liberty is the living influence of the
+citizen on the State in the direction of moulding or deflecting it. Men
+are the only creatures that evidently possess it. On the one hand, the
+eagle has no liberty; he only has loneliness. On the other hand, ants,
+bees, and beavers exhibit the highest miracle of the State influencing the
+citizen; but no perceptible trace of the citizen influencing the State.
+You may, if you like, call the ants a democracy as you may call the bees a
+despotism. But I fancy that the architectural ant who attempted to
+introduce an art nouveau style of ant-hill would have a career as curt and
+fruitless as the celebrated bee who wanted to swarm alone. The isolation
+of this idea in humanity is akin to its religious character; but it is not
+even in humanity by any means equally distributed. The idea that the
+State should not only be supported by its children, like the ant-hill, but
+should be constantly criticised and reconstructed by them, is an idea
+stronger in Christendom than any other part of the planet; stronger in
+Western than Eastern Europe. And touching the pure idea of the individual
+being free to speak and act within limits, the assertion of this idea, we
+may fairly say, has been the peculiar honour of our own country. For my
+part I greatly prefer the Jingoism of Rule Britannia to the Imperialism of
+The Recessional. I have no objection to Britannia ruling the waves. I
+draw the line when she begins to rule the dry land--and such damnably dry
+land too--as in Africa. And there was a real old English sincerity in the
+vulgar chorus that "Britons never shall be slaves." We had no equality
+and hardly any justice; but freedom we were really fond of. And I think
+just now it is worth while to draw attention to the old optimistic
+prophecy that "Britons never shall be slaves."
+
+The mere love of liberty has never been at a lower ebb in England than it
+has been for the last twenty years. Never before has it been so easy to
+slip small Bills through Parliament for the purpose of locking people up.
+Never was it so easy to silence awkward questions, or to protect
+highplaced officials. Two hundred years ago we turned out the Stuarts
+rather than endanger the Habeas Corpus Act. Two years ago we abolished the
+Habeas Corpus Act rather than turn out the Home Secretary. We passed a
+law (which is now in force) that an Englishman's punishment shall not
+depend upon judge and jury, but upon the governors and jailers who have
+got hold of him. But this is not the only case. The scorn of liberty is
+in the air. A newspaper is seized by the police in Trafalgar Square
+without a word of accusation or explanation. The Home Secretary says that
+in his opinion the police are very nice people, and there is an end of the
+matter. A Member of Parliament attempts to criticise a peerage. The
+Speaker says he must not criticise a peerage, and there the matter drops.
+
+Political liberty, let us repeat, consists in the power of criticising
+those flexible parts of the State which constantly require reconsideration,
+not the basis, but the machinery. In plainer words, it means the power
+of saying the sort of things that a decent but discontented citizen wants
+to say. He does not want to spit on the Bible, or to run about without
+clothes, or to read the worst page in Zola from the pulpit of St. Paul's.
+Therefore the forbidding of these things (whether just or not) is only
+tyranny in a secondary and special sense. It restrains the abnormal, not
+the normal man. But the normal man, the decent discontented citizen, does
+want to protest against unfair law courts. He does want to expose
+brutalities of the police. He does want to make game of a vulgar
+pawnbroker who is made a Peer. He does want publicly to warn people
+against unscrupulous capitalists and suspicious finance. If he is run in
+for doing this (as he will be) he does want to proclaim the character or
+known prejudices of the magistrate who tries him. If he is sent to prison
+(as he will be) he does want to have a clear and civilised sentence,
+telling him when he will come out. And these are literally and exactly
+the things that he now cannot get. That is the almost cloying humour of
+the present situation. I can say abnormal things in modern magazines. It
+is the normal things that I am not allowed to say. I can write in some
+solemn quarterly an elaborate article explaining that God is the devil; I
+can write in some cultured weekly an aesthetic fancy describing how I
+should like to eat boiled baby. The thing I must not write is rational
+criticism of the men and institutions of my country.
+
+The present condition of England is briefly this: That no Englishman can
+say in public a twentieth part of what he says in private. One cannot say,
+for instance, that--But I am afraid I must leave out that instance,
+because one cannot say it. I cannot prove my case--because it is so true.
+
+
+
+
+THE HYPOTHETICAL HOUSEHOLDER
+
+
+We have read of some celebrated philosopher who was so absent-minded that
+he paid a call at his own house. My own absent-mindedness is extreme, and
+my philosophy, of course, is the marvel of men and angels. But I never
+quite managed to be so absent-minded as that. Some yards at least from my
+own door, something vaguely familiar has always caught my eye; and thus
+the joke has been spoiled. Of course I have quite constantly walked into
+another man's house, thinking it was my own house; my visits became almost
+monotonous. But walking into my own house and thinking it was another
+man's house is a flight of poetic detachment still beyond me. Something
+of the sensations that such an absent-minded man must feel I really felt
+the other day; and very pleasant sensations they were. The best parts of
+every proper romance are the first chapter and the last chapter; and to
+knock at a strange door and find a nice wife would be to concentrate the
+beginning and end of all romance.
+
+Mine was a milder and slighter experience, but its thrill was of the same
+kind. For I strolled through a place I had imagined quite virgin and
+unvisited (as far as I was concerned), and I suddenly found I was treading
+in my own footprints, and the footprints were nearly twenty years old.
+
+It was one of those stretches of country which always suggests an almost
+unnatural decay; thickets and heaths that have grown out of what were once
+great gardens. Garden flowers still grow there as wild flowers, as it
+says in some good poetic couplet which I forget; and there is something
+singularly romantic and disastrous about seeing things that were so long a
+human property and care fighting for their own hand in the thicket. One
+almost expects to find a decayed dog-kennel; with the dog evolved into a
+wolf.
+
+This desolate garden-land had been even in my youth scrappily planned out
+for building. The half-built or empty houses had appeared quite
+threateningly on the edge of this heath even when I walked over it years
+ago and almost as a boy. I was astonished that the building had gone no
+farther; I suppose somebody went bankrupt and somebody else disliked
+building. But I remember, especially along one side of this tangle or
+coppice, that there had once been a row of half-built houses. The brick
+of which they were built was a sort of plain pink; everything else was a
+blinding white; the houses smoked with white dust and white sawdust; and
+on many of the windows were rubbed those round rough disks of white which
+always delighted me as a child. They looked like the white eyes of some
+blind giant.
+
+I could see the crude, parched pink-and-white villas still; though I had
+not thought at all of them for a quarter of my life; and had not thought
+much of them even when I saw them. Then I was an idle, but eager youth
+walking out from London; now I was a most reluctantly busy middle-aged
+person, coming in from the country. Youth, I think, seems farther off
+than childhood, for it made itself more of a secret. Like a prenatal
+picture, distant, tiny, and quite distinct, I saw this heath on which I
+stood; and I looked around for the string of bright, half-baked villas.
+They still stood there; but they were quite russet and weather-stained, as
+if they had stood for centuries.
+
+I remembered exactly what I had done on that day long ago. I had half
+slid on a miry descent; it was still there; a little lower I had knocked
+off the top of a thistle; the thistles had not been discouraged, but were
+still growing. I recalled it because I had wondered why one knocks off
+the tops of thistles; and then I had thought of Tarquin; and then I had
+recited most of Macaulay's VIRGINIA to myself, for I was young. And then
+I came to a tattered edge where the very tuft had whitened with the
+sawdust and brick-dust from the new row of houses; and two or three green
+stars of dock and thistle grew spasmodically about the blinding road.
+
+I remembered how I had walked up this new one-sided street all those years
+ago; and I remembered what I had thought. I thought that this red and
+white glaring terrace at noon was really more creepy and more lonesome
+than a glimmering churchyard at midnight. The churchyard could only be
+full of the ghosts of the dead; but these houses were full of the ghosts
+of the unborn. And a man can never find a home in the future as he can
+find it in the past. I was always fascinated by that mediaeval notion of
+erecting a rudely carpentered stage in the street, and acting on it a
+miracle play of the Holy Family or the Last Judgment. And I thought to
+myself that each of these glaring, gaping, new jerry-built boxes was
+indeed a rickety stage erected for the acting of a real miracle play; that
+human family that is almost the holy one, and that human death that is
+near to the last judgment.
+
+For some foolish reason the last house but one in that imperfect row
+especially haunted me with its hollow grin and empty window-eyes.
+Something in the shape of this brick-and-mortar skeleton was attractive;
+and there being no workmen about, I strolled into it for curiosity and
+solitude. I gave, with all the sky-deep gravity of youth, a benediction
+upon the man who was going to live there. I even remember that for the
+convenience of meditation I called him James Harrogate.
+
+As I reflected it crawled back into my memory that I had mildly played the
+fool in that house on that distant day. I had some red chalk in my pocket,
+I think, and I wrote things on the unpapered plaster walls; things
+addressed to Mr. Harrogate. A dim memory told me that I had written up in
+what I supposed to be the dining-room:
+
+
+James Harrogate, thank God for meat,
+Then eat and eat and eat and eat,
+
+
+or something of that kind. I faintly feel that some longer lyric was
+scrawled on the walls of what looked like a bedroom, something beginning:
+
+
+When laying what you call your head,
+O Harrogate, upon your bed,
+
+
+and there all my memory dislimns and decays. But I could still see quite
+vividly the plain plastered walls and the rude, irregular writing, and the
+places where the red chalk broke. I could see them, I mean, in memory;
+for when I came down that road again after a sixth of a century the house
+was very different.
+
+I had seen it before at noon, and now I found it in the dusk. But its
+windows glowed with lights of many artificial sorts; one of its low square
+windows stood open; from this there escaped up the road a stream of
+lamplight and a stream of singing. Some sort of girl, at least, was
+standing at some sort of piano, and singing a song of healthy
+sentimentalism in that house where long ago my blessing had died on the
+wind and my poems been covered up by the wallpaper. I stood outside that
+lamplit house at dusk full of those thoughts that I shall never express if
+I live to be a million any better than I expressed them in red chalk upon
+the wall. But after I had hovered a little, and was about to withdraw, a
+mad impulse seized me. I rang the bell. I said in distinct accents to a
+very smart suburban maid, "Does Mr. James Harrogate live here?"
+
+She said he didn't; but that she would inquire, in case I was looking for
+him in the neighbourhood; but I excused her from such exertion. I had one
+moment's impulse to look for him all over the world; and then decided not
+to look for him at all.
+
+
+
+
+THE PRIEST OF SPRING
+
+
+The sun has strengthened and the air softened just before Easter Day.
+But it is a troubled brightness which has a breath not only of novelty but
+of revolution, There are two great armies of the human intellect who will
+fight till the end on this vital point, whether Easter is to be
+congratulated on fitting in with the Spring--or the Spring on fitting in
+with Easter.
+
+The only two things that can satisfy the soul are a person and a story;
+and even a story must be about a person. There are indeed very voluptuous
+appetites and enjoyments in mere abstractions like mathematics, logic, or
+chess. But these mere pleasures of the mind are like mere pleasures of
+the body. That is, they are mere pleasures, though they may be gigantic
+pleasures; they can never by a mere increase of themselves amount to
+happiness. A man just about to be hanged may enjoy his breakfast;
+especially if it be his favourite breakfast; and in the same way he may
+enjoy an argument with the chaplain about heresy, especially if it is his
+favourite heresy. But whether he can enjoy either of them does not depend
+on either of them; it depends upon his spiritual attitude towards a
+subsequent event. And that event is really interesting to the soul;
+because it is the end of a story and (as some hold) the end of a person.
+
+Now it is this simple truth which, like many others, is too simple for our
+scientists to see. This is where they go wrong, not only about true
+religion, but about false religions too; so that their account of
+mythology is more mythical than the myth itself. I do not confine myself
+to saying that they are quite incorrect when they state (for instance)
+that Christ was a legend of dying and reviving vegetation, like Adonis or
+Persephone. I say that even if Adonis was a god of vegetation, they have
+got the whole notion of him wrong. Nobody, to begin with, is sufficiently
+interested in decaying vegetables, as such, to make any particular mystery
+or disguise about them; and certainly not enough to disguise them under
+the image of a very handsome young man, which is a vastly more interesting
+thing. If Adonis was connected with the fall of leaves in autumn and the
+return of flowers in spring, the process of thought was quite different.
+It is a process of thought which springs up spontaneously in all children
+and young artists; it springs up spontaneously in all healthy societies.
+It is very difficult to explain in a diseased society.
+
+The brain of man is subject to short and strange snatches of sleep. A
+cloud seals the city of reason or rests upon the sea of imagination; a
+dream that darkens as much, whether it is a nightmare of atheism or a
+daydream of idolatry. And just as we have all sprung from sleep with a
+start and found ourselves saying some sentence that has no meaning, save
+in the mad tongues of the midnight; so the human mind starts from its
+trances of stupidity with some complete phrase upon its lips; a complete
+phrase which is a complete folly. Unfortunately it is not like the dream
+sentence, generally forgotten in the putting on of boots or the putting in
+of breakfast. This senseless aphorism, invented when man's mind was
+asleep, still hangs on his tongue and entangles all his relations to
+rational and daylight things. All our controversies are confused by
+certain kinds of phrases which are not merely untrue, but were always
+unmeaning; which are not merely inapplicable, but were always
+intrinsically useless. We recognise them wherever a man talks of "the
+survival of the fittest," meaning only the survival of the survivors; or
+wherever a man says that the rich "have a stake in the country," as if the
+poor could not suffer from misgovernment or military defeat; or where a
+man talks about "going on towards Progress," which only means going on
+towards going on; or when a man talks about "government by the wise few,"
+as if they could be picked out by their pantaloons. "The wise few" must
+mean either the few whom the foolish think wise or the very foolish who
+think themselves wise.
+
+There is one piece of nonsense that modern people still find themselves
+saying, even after they are more or less awake, by which I am particularly
+irritated. It arose in the popularised science of the nineteenth century,
+especially in connection with the study of myths and religions. The
+fragment of gibberish to which I refer generally takes the form of saying
+"This god or hero really represents the sun." Or "Apollo killing the
+Python MEANS that the summer drives out the winter." Or "The King dying in
+a western battle is a SYMBOL of the sun setting in the west." Now I
+should really have thought that even the skeptical professors, whose
+skulls are as shallow as frying-pans, might have reflected that human
+beings never think or feel like this. Consider what is involved in this
+supposition. It presumes that primitive man went out for a walk and saw
+with great interest a big burning spot on the sky. He then said to
+primitive woman, "My dear, we had better keep this quiet. We mustn't let
+it get about. The children and the slaves are so very sharp. They might
+discover the sun any day, unless we are very careful. So we won't call
+it 'the sun,' but I will draw a picture of a man killing a snake; and
+whenever I do that you will know what I mean. The sun doesn't look at all
+like a man killing a snake; so nobody can possibly know. It will be a
+little secret between us; and while the slaves and the children fancy I am
+quite excited with a grand tale of a writhing dragon and a wrestling
+demigod, I shall really MEAN this delicious little discovery, that there
+is a round yellow disc up in the air." One does not need to know much
+mythology to know that this is a myth. It is commonly called the Solar
+Myth.
+
+Quite plainly, of course, the case was just the other way. The god was
+never a symbol or hieroglyph representing the sun. The sun was a
+hieroglyph representing the god. Primitive man (with whom my friend
+Dombey is no doubt well acquainted) went out with his head full of gods
+and heroes, because that is the chief use of having a head. Then he saw
+the sun in some glorious crisis of the dominance of noon on the distress
+of nightfall, and he said, "That is how the face of the god would shine
+when he had slain the dragon," or "That is how the whole world would bleed
+to westward, if the god were slain at last."
+
+No human being was ever really so unnatural as to worship Nature. No man,
+however indulgent (as I am) to corpulency, ever worshipped a man as round
+as the sun or a woman as round as the moon. No man, however attracted to
+an artistic attenuation, ever really believed that the Dryad was as lean
+and stiff as the tree. We human beings have never worshipped Nature; and
+indeed, the reason is very simple. It is that all human beings are
+superhuman beings. We have printed our own image upon Nature, as God has
+printed His image upon us. We have told the enormous sun to stand still;
+we have fixed him on our shields, caring no more for a star than for a
+starfish. And when there were powers of Nature we could not for the time
+control, we have conceived great beings in human shape controlling them.
+Jupiter does not mean thunder. Thunder means the march and victory of
+Jupiter. Neptune does not mean the sea; the sea is his, and he made it.
+In other words, what the savage really said about the sea was, "Only my
+fetish Mumbo could raise such mountains out of mere water." What the
+savage really said about the sun was, "Only my great great-grandfather
+Jumbo could deserve such a blazing crown."
+
+About all these myths my own position is utterly and even sadly simple.
+I say you cannot really understand any myths till you have found that one
+of them is not a myth. Turnip ghosts mean nothing if there are no real
+ghosts. Forged bank-notes mean nothing if there are no real bank-notes.
+Heathen gods mean nothing, and must always mean nothing, to those of us
+that deny the Christian God. When once a god is admitted, even a false
+god, the Cosmos begins to know its place: which is the second place. When
+once it is the real God the Cosmos falls down before Him, offering flowers
+in spring as flames in winter. "My love is like a red, red rose" does not
+mean that the poet is praising roses under the allegory of a young lady.
+"My love is an arbutus" does not mean that the author was a botanist so
+pleased with a particular arbutus tree that he said he loved it. "Who art
+the moon and regent of my sky" does not mean that Juliet invented Romeo to
+account for the roundness of the moon. "Christ is the Sun of Easter" does
+not mean that the worshipper is praising the sun under the emblem of
+Christ. Goddess or god can clothe themselves with the spring or summer;
+but the body is more than raiment. Religion takes almost disdainfully the
+dress of Nature; and indeed Christianity has done as well with the snows
+of Christmas as with the snow-drops of spring. And when I look across
+the sun-struck fields, I know in my inmost bones that my joy is not solely
+in the spring, for spring alone, being always returning, would be always
+sad. There is somebody or something walking there, to be crowned with
+flowers: and my pleasure is in some promise yet possible and in the
+resurrection of the dead.
+
+
+
+
+THE REAL JOURNALIST
+
+
+Our age which has boasted of realism will fail chiefly through lack of
+reality. Never, I fancy, has there been so grave and startling a divorce
+between the real way a thing is done and the look of it when it is done.
+I take the nearest and most topical instance to hand a newspaper.
+Nothing looks more neat and regular than a newspaper, with its parallel
+columns, its mechanical printing, its detailed facts and figures, its
+responsible, polysyllabic leading articles. Nothing, as a matter of fact,
+goes every night through more agonies of adventure, more hairbreadth
+escapes, desperate expedients, crucial councils, random compromises, or
+barely averted catastrophes. Seen from the outside, it seems to come
+round as automatically as the clock and as silently as the dawn. Seen
+from the inside, it gives all its organisers a gasp of relief every
+morning to see that it has come out at all; that it has come out without
+the leading article upside down or the Pope congratulated on discovering
+the North Pole.
+
+I will give an instance (merely to illustrate my thesis of unreality) from
+the paper that I know best. Here is a simple story, a little episode in
+the life of a journalist, which may be amusing and instructive: the tale
+of how I made a great mistake in quotation. There are really two stories:
+the story as seen from the outside, by a man reading the paper; and the
+story seen from the inside, by the journalists shouting and telephoning
+and taking notes in shorthand through the night.
+
+This is the outside story; and it reads like a dreadful quarrel. The
+notorious G. K. Chesterton, a reactionary Torquemada whose one gloomy
+pleasure was in the defence of orthodoxy and the pursuit of heretics, long
+calculated and at last launched a denunciation of a brilliant leader of
+the New Theology which he hated with all the furnace of his fanatic soul.
+In this document Chesterton darkly, deliberately, and not having the fear
+of God before his eyes, asserted that Shakespeare wrote the line "that
+wreathes its old fantastic roots so high." This he said because he had
+been kept in ignorance by Priests; or, perhaps, because he thought
+craftily that none of his dupes could discover a curious and forgotten
+rhyme called 'Elegy in a Country Churchyard'. Anyhow, that orthodox
+gentleman made a howling error; and received some twenty-five letters and
+post-cards from kind correspondents who pointed out the mistake.
+
+But the odd thing is that scarcely any of them could conceive that it was
+a mistake. The first wrote in the tone of one wearied of epigrams, and
+cried, "What is the joke NOW?" Another professed (and practised, for all
+I know, God help him) that he had read through all Shakespeare and failed
+to find the line. A third wrote in a sort of moral distress, asking, as
+in confidence, if Gray was really a plagiarist. They were a noble
+collection; but they all subtly assumed an element of leisure and
+exactitude in the recipient's profession and character which is far from
+the truth. Let us pass on to the next act of the external tragedy.
+
+In Monday's issue of the same paper appeared a letter from the same
+culprit. He ingenuously confessed that the line did not belong to
+Shakespeare, but to a poet whom he called Grey. Which was another
+cropper--or whopper. This strange and illiterate outbreak was printed by
+the editor with the justly scornful title, "Mr. Chesterton 'Explains'?"
+Any man reading the paper at breakfast saw at once the meaning of the
+sarcastic quotation marks. They meant, of course, "Here is a man who
+doesn't know Gray from Shakespeare; he tries to patch it up and he can't
+even spell Gray. And that is what he calls an Explanation." That is the
+perfectly natural inference of the reader from the letter, the mistake,
+and the headline--as seen from the outside. The falsehood was serious;
+the editorial rebuke was serious. The stern editor and the sombre,
+baffled contributor confront each other as the curtain falls.
+
+And now I will tell you exactly what really happened. It is honestly
+rather amusing; it is a story of what journals and journalists really are.
+A monstrously lazy man lives in South Bucks partly by writing a column
+in the Saturday Daily News. At the time he usually writes it (which is
+always at the last moment) his house is unexpectedly invaded by infants of
+all shapes and sizes. His Secretary is called away; and he has to cope
+with the invading pigmies. Playing with children is a glorious thing; but
+the journalist in question has never understood why it was considered a
+soothing or idyllic one. It reminds him, not of watering little budding
+flowers, but of wrestling for hours with gigantic angels and devils.
+Moral problems of the most monstrous complexity besiege him incessantly.
+He has to decide before the awful eyes of innocence, whether, when a
+sister has knocked down a brother's bricks, in revenge for the brother
+having taken two sweets out of his turn, it is endurable that the brother
+should retaliate by scribbling on the sister's picture book, and whether
+such conduct does not justify the sister in blowing out the brother's
+unlawfully lighted match.
+
+Just as he is solving this problem upon principles of the highest morality,
+it occurs to him suddenly that he has not written his Saturday article;
+and that there is only about an hour to do it in. He wildly calls to
+somebody (probably the gardener) to telephone to somewhere for a messenger;
+he barricades himself in another room and tears his hair, wondering what
+on earth he shall write about. A drumming of fists on the door outside
+and a cheerful bellowing encourage and clarify his thoughts; and he is
+able to observe some newspapers and circulars in wrappers lying on the
+table. One is a dingy book catalogue; the second is a shiny pamphlet
+about petrol; the third is a paper called The Christian Commonwealth. He
+opens it anyhow, and sees in the middle of a page a sentence with which he
+honestly disagrees. It says that the sense of beauty in Nature is a new
+thing, hardly felt before Wordsworth. A stream of images and pictures
+pour through his head, like skies chasing each other or forests running by.
+"Not felt before Wordsworth!" he thinks. "Oh, but this won't do...
+bare ruined choirs where late the sweet birds sang...night's candles are
+burnt out... glowed with living sapphires. leaving their moon-loved
+maze...antique roots fantastic... antique roots wreathed high...what is
+it in As You Like It?"
+
+He sits down desperately; the messenger rings at the bell; the children
+drum on the door; the servants run up from time to time to say the
+messenger is getting bored; and the pencil staggers along, making the
+world a present of fifteen hundred unimportant words, and making
+Shakespeare a present of a portion of Gray's Elegy; putting "fantastic
+roots wreathed high" instead of "antique roots peep out." Then the
+journalist sends off his copy and turns his attention to the enigma of
+whether a brother should commandeer a sister's necklace because the sister
+pinched him at Littlehampton. That is the first scene; that is how an
+article is really written.
+
+The scene now changes to the newspaper office. The writer of the article
+has discovered his mistake and wants to correct it by the next day: but
+the next day is Sunday. He cannot post a letter, so he rings up the paper
+and dictates a letter by telephone. He leaves the title to his friends at
+the other end; he knows that they can spell "Gray," as no doubt they can:
+but the letter is put down by journalistic custom in a pencil scribble and
+the vowel may well be doubtful. The friend writes at the top of the
+letter "'G. K. C.' Explains," putting the initials in quotation marks.
+The next man passing it for press is bored with these initials (I am with
+him there) and crosses them out, substituting with austere civility, "Mr.
+Chesterton Explains." But and now he hears the iron laughter of the Fates,
+for the blind bolt is about to fall--but he neglects to cross out the
+second "quote" (as we call it) and it goes up to press with a "quote"
+between the last words. Another quotation mark at the end of "explains"
+was the work of one merry moment for the printers upstairs. So the
+inverted commas were lifted entirely off one word on to the other and a
+totally innocent title suddenly turned into a blasting sneer. But that
+would have mattered nothing so far, for there was nothing to sneer at. In
+the same dark hour, however, there was a printer who was (I suppose) so
+devoted to this Government that he could think of no Gray but Sir Edward
+Grey. He spelt it "Grey" by a mere misprint, and the whole tale was
+complete: first blunder, second blunder, and final condemnation.
+
+That is a little tale of journalism as it is; if you call it egotistic and
+ask what is the use of it I think I could tell you. You might remember it
+when next some ordinary young workman is going to be hanged by the neck on
+circumstantial evidence.
+
+
+
+
+THE SENTIMENTAL SCOT
+
+
+Of all the great nations of Christendom, the Scotch are by far the most
+romantic. I have just enough Scotch experience and just enough Scotch
+blood to know this in the only way in which a thing can really be known;
+that is, when the outer world and the inner world are at one. I know it
+is always said that the Scotch are practical, prosaic, and puritan; that
+they have an eye to business. I like that phrase "an eye" to business.
+
+Polyphemus had an eye for business; it was in the middle of his forehead.
+It served him admirably for the only two duties which are demanded in a
+modern financier and captain of industry: the two duties of counting sheep
+and of eating men. But when that one eye was put out he was done for.
+But the Scotch are not one-eyed practical men, though their best friends
+must admit that they are occasionally business-like. They are, quite
+fundamentally, romantic and sentimental, and this is proved by the very
+economic argument that is used to prove their harshness and hunger for the
+material. The mass of Scots have accepted the industrial civilisation,
+with its factory chimneys and its famine prices, with its steam and smoke
+and steel--and strikes. The mass of the Irish have not accepted it. The
+mass of the Irish have clung to agriculture with claws of iron; and have
+succeeded in keeping it. That is because the Irish, though far inferior
+to the Scotch in art and literature, are hugely superior to them in
+practical politics. You do need to be very romantic to accept the
+industrial civilisation. It does really require all the old Gaelic
+glamour to make men think that Glasgow is a grand place. Yet the miracle
+is achieved; and while I was in Glasgow I shared the illusion. I have
+never had the faintest illusion about Leeds or Birmingham. The industrial
+dream suited the Scots. Here was a really romantic vista, suited to a
+romantic people; a vision of higher and higher chimneys taking hold upon
+the heavens, of fiercer and fiercer fires in which adamant could evaporate
+like dew. Here were taller and taller engines that began already to
+shriek and gesticulate like giants. Here were thunderbolts of
+communication which already flashed to and fro like thoughts. It was
+unreasonable to expect the rapt, dreamy, romantic Scot to stand still in
+such a whirl of wizardry to ask whether he, the ordinary Scot, would be
+any the richer.
+
+He, the ordinary Scot, is very much the poorer. Glasgow is not a rich
+city. It is a particularly poor city ruled by a few particularly rich men.
+It is not, perhaps, quite so poor a city as Liverpool, London,
+Manchester, Birmingham, or Bolton. It is vastly poorer than Rome, Rouen,
+Munich, or Cologne. A certain civic vitality notable in Glasgow may,
+perhaps, be due to the fact that the high poetic patriotism of the Scots
+has there been reinforced by the cutting common sense and independence of
+the Irish. In any case, I think there can be no doubt of the main
+historical fact. The Scotch were tempted by the enormous but unequal
+opportunities of industrialism, because the Scotch are romantic. The
+Irish refused those enormous and unequal opportunities, because the Irish
+are clear-sighted. They would not need very clear sight by this time to
+see that in England and Scotland the temptation has been a betrayal. The
+industrial system has failed.
+
+I was coming the other day along a great valley road that strikes out of
+the westland counties about Glasgow, more or less towards the east and the
+widening of the Forth. It may, for all I know (I amused myself with the
+fancy), be the way along which Wallace came with his crude army, when he
+gave battle before Stirling Brig; and, in the midst of mediaeval
+diplomacies, made a new nation possible. Anyhow, the romantic quality of
+Scotland rolled all about me, as much in the last reek of Glasgow as in
+the first rain upon the hills. The tall factory chimneys seemed trying to
+be taller than the mountain peaks; as if this landscape were full (as its
+history has been full) of the very madness of ambition. The wageslavery
+we live in is a wicked thing. But there is nothing in which the Scotch
+are more piercing and poetical, I might say more perfect, than in their
+Scotch wickedness. It is what makes the Master of Ballantrae the most
+thrilling of all fictitious villains. It is what makes the Master of
+Lovat the most thrilling of all historical villains. It is poetry. It
+is an intensity which is on the edge of madness or (what is worse) magic.
+Well, the Scotch have managed to apply something of this fierce
+romanticism even to the lowest of all lordships and serfdoms; the
+proletarian inequality of today. You do meet now and then, in Scotland,
+the man you never meet anywhere else but in novels; I mean the self-made
+man; the hard, insatiable man, merciless to himself as well as to others.
+It is not "enterprise"; it is kleptomania. He is quite mad, and a much
+more obvious public pest than any other kind of kleptomaniac; but though
+he is a cheat, he is not an illusion. He does exist; I have met quite two
+of him. Him alone among modern merchants we do not weakly flatter when we
+call him a bandit. Something of the irresponsibility of the true dark
+ages really clings about him. Our scientific civilisation is not a
+civilisation; it is a smoke nuisance. Like smoke it is choking us; like
+smoke it will pass away. Only of one or two Scotsmen, in my experience,
+was it true that where there is smoke there is fire.
+
+But there are other kinds of fire; and better. The one great advantage of
+this strange national temper is that, from the beginning of all chronicles,
+it has provided resistance as well as cruelty. In Scotland nearly
+everything has always been in revolt--especially loyalty. If these people
+are capable of making Glasgow, they are also capable of wrecking it; and
+the thought of my many good friends in that city makes me really doubtful
+about which would figure in human memories as the more huge calamity of
+the two. In Scotland there are many rich men so weak as to call
+themselves strong. But there are not so many poor men weak enough to
+believe them.
+
+As I came out of Glasgow I saw men standing about the road. They had
+little lanterns tied to the fronts of their caps, like the fairies who
+used to dance in the old fairy pantomimes. They were not, however,
+strictly speaking, fairies. They might have been called gnomes, since
+they worked in the chasms of those purple and chaotic hills. They worked
+in the mines from whence comes the fuel of our fires. Just at the moment
+when I saw them, moreover, they were not dancing; nor were they working.
+They were doing nothing. Which, in my opinion (and I trust yours), was
+the finest thing they could do.
+
+
+
+
+THE SECTARIAN OF SOCIETY
+
+
+A fixed creed is absolutely indispensable to freedom. For while men are
+and should be various, there must be some communication between them if
+they are to get any pleasure out of their variety. And an intellectual
+formula is the only thing that can create a communication that does not
+depend on mere blood, class, or capricious sympathy. If we all start with
+the agreement that the sun and moon exist, we can talk about our different
+visions of them. The strong-eyed man can boast that he sees the sun as a
+perfect circle. The shortsighted man may say (or if he is an
+impressionist, boast) that he sees the moon as a silver blur. The
+colour-blind man may rejoice in the fairy-trick which enables him to live
+under a green sun and a blue moon. But if once it be held that there is
+nothing but a silver blur in one man's eye or a bright circle (like a
+monocle) in the other man's, then neither is free, for each is shut up in
+the cell of a separate universe.
+
+But, indeed, an even worse fate, practically considered, follows from the
+denim of the original intellectual formula. Not only does the individual
+become narrow, but he spreads narrowness across the world like a cloud; he
+causes narrowness to increase and multiply like a weed. For what happens
+is this: that all the shortsighted people come together and build a city
+called Myopia, where they take short-sightedness for granted and paint
+short-sighted pictures and pursue very short-sighted policies. Meanwhile
+all the men who can stare at the sun get together on Salisbury Plain and
+do nothing but stare at the sun; and all the men who see a blue moon band
+themselves together and assert the blue moon, not once in a blue moon, but
+incessantly. So that instead of a small and varied group, you have
+enormous monotonous groups. Instead of the liberty of dogma, you have the
+tyranny of taste.
+
+Allegory apart, instances of what I mean will occur to every one; perhaps
+the most obvious is Socialism. Socialism means the ownership by the organ
+of government (whatever it is) of all things necessary to production. If
+a man claims to be a Socialist in that sense he can be any kind of man he
+likes in any other sense--a bookie, a Mahatma, a man about town, an
+archbishop, a Margate nigger. Without recalling at the moment
+clear-headed Socialists in all of these capacities, it is obvious that a
+clear-headed Socialist (that is, a Socialist with a creed) can be a
+soldier, like Mr. Blatchford, or a Don, like Mr. Ball, or a Bathchairman
+like Mr. Meeke, or a clergyman like Mr. Conrad Noel, or an artistic
+tradesman like the late Mr. William Morris.
+
+But some people call themselves Socialists, and will not be bound by what
+they call a narrow dogma; they say that Socialism means far, far more than
+this; all that is high, all that is free, all that is, etc., etc. Now
+mark their dreadful fate; for they become totally unfit to be tradesmen,
+or soldiers, or clergymen, or any other stricken human thing, but become a
+particular sort of person who is always the same. When once it has been
+discovered that Socialism does not mean a narrow economic formula, it is
+also discovered that Socialism does mean wearing one particular kind of
+clothes, reading one particular kind of books, hanging up one particular
+kind of pictures, and in the majority of cases even eating one particular
+kind of food. For men must recognise each other somehow. These men will
+not know each other by a principle, like fellow citizens. They cannot know
+each other by a smell, like dogs. So they have to fall back on general
+colouring; on the fact that a man of their sort will have a wife in pale
+green and Walter Crane's "Triumph of Labour" hanging in the hall.
+
+There are, of course, many other instances; for modern society is almost
+made up of these large monochrome patches. Thus I, for one, regret the
+supersession of the old Puritan unity, founded on theology, but embracing
+all types from Milton to the grocer, by that newer Puritan unity which is
+founded rather on certain social habits, certain common notions, both
+permissive and prohibitive, in connection with Particular social pleasures.
+
+
+Thus I, for one, regret that (if you are going to have an aristocracy) it
+did not remain a logical one founded on the science of heraldry; a thing
+asserting and defending the quite defensible theory that physical
+genealogy is the test; instead of being, as it is now, a mere machine of
+Eton and Oxford for varnishing anybody rich enough with one monotonous
+varnish.
+
+And it is supremely so in the case of religion. As long as you have a
+creed, which every one in a certain group believes or is supposed to
+believe, then that group will consist of the old recurring figures of
+religious history, who can be appealed to by the creed and judged by it;
+the saint, the hypocrite, the brawler, the weak brother. These people do
+each other good; or they all join together to do the hypocrite good, with
+heavy and repeated blows. But once break the bond of doctrine which alone
+holds these people together and each will gravitate to his own kind
+outside the group. The hypocrites will all get together and call each
+other saints; the saints will get lost in a desert and call themselves
+weak brethren; the weak brethren will get weaker and weaker in a general
+atmosphere of imbecility; and the brawler will go off looking for somebody
+else with whom to brawl.
+
+This has very largely happened to modern English religion; I have been in
+many churches, chapels, and halls where a confident pride in having got
+beyond creeds was coupled with quite a paralysed incapacity to get beyond
+catchwords. But wherever the falsity appears it comes from neglect of the
+same truth: that men should agree on a principle, that they may differ on
+everything else; that God gave men a law that they might turn it into
+liberties.
+
+There was hugely more sense in the old people who said that a wife and
+husband ought to have the same religion than there is in all the
+contemporary gushing about sister souls and kindred spirits and auras of
+identical colour. As a matter of fact, the more the sexes are in violent
+contrast the less likely they are to be in violent collision. The more
+incompatible their tempers are the better. Obviously a wife's soul cannot
+possibly be a sister soul. It is very seldom so much as a first cousin.
+There are very few marriages of identical taste and temperament; they are
+generally unhappy. But to have the same fundamental theory, to think the
+same thing a virtue, whether you practise or neglect it, to think the same
+thing a sin, whether you punish or pardon or laugh at it, in the last
+extremity to call the same thing duty and the same thing disgrace--this
+really is necessary to a tolerably happy marriage; and it is much better
+represented by a common religion than it is by affinities and auras. And
+what applies to the family applies to the nation. A nation with a root
+religion will be tolerant. A nation with no religion will be bigoted.
+Lastly, the worst effect of all is this: that when men come together to
+profess a creed, they come courageously, though it is to hide in catacombs
+and caves. But when they come together in a clique they come sneakishly,
+eschewing all change or disagreement, though it is to dine to a brass band
+in a big London hotel. For birds of a feather flock together, but birds
+of the white feather most of all.
+
+
+
+
+THE FOOL
+
+
+For many years I had sought him, and at last I found him in a club. I had
+been told that he was everywhere; but I had almost begun to think that he
+was nowhere. I had been assured that there were millions of him; but
+before my late discovery I inclined to think that there were none of him.
+After my late discovery I am sure that there is one; and I incline to
+think that there are several, say, a few hundreds; but unfortunately most
+of them occupying important positions. When I say "him," I mean the
+entire idiot.
+
+I have never been able to discover that "stupid public" of which so many
+literary men complain. The people one actually meets in trains or at
+tea parties seem to me quite bright and interesting; certainly quite enough
+so to call for the full exertion of one's own wits. And even when I have
+heard brilliant "conversationalists" conversing with other people, the
+conversation had much more equality and give and take than this age of
+intellectual snobs will admit. I have sometimes felt tired, like other
+people; but rather tired with men's talk and variety than with their
+stolidity or sameness; therefore it was that I sometimes longed to find
+the refreshment of a single fool.
+
+But it was denied me. Turn where I would I found this monotonous
+brilliancy of the general intelligence, this ruthless, ceaseless sparkle
+of humour and good sense. The "mostly fools" theory has been used in an
+anti-democratic sense; but when I found at last my priceless ass, I did
+not find him in what is commonly called the democracy; nor in the
+aristocracy either. The man of the democracy generally talks quite
+rationally, sometimes on the anti-democratic side, but always with an idea
+of giving reasons for what he says and referring to the realities of his
+experience. Nor is it the aristocracy that is stupid; at least, not that
+section of the aristocracy which represents it in politics. They are
+often cynical, especially about money, but even their boredom tends to
+make them a little eager for any real information or originality. If a
+man like Mr. Winston Churchill or Mr. Wyndham made up his mind for any
+reason to attack Syndicalism he would find out what it was first. Not so
+the man I found in the club.
+
+He was very well dressed; he had a heavy but handsome face; his black
+clothes suggested the City and his gray moustaches the Army; but the whole
+suggested that he did not really belong to either, but was one of those
+who dabble in shares and who play at soldiers. There was some third
+element about him that was neither mercantile nor military. His manners
+were a shade too gentlemanly to be quite those of a gentleman. They
+involved an unction and over-emphasis of the club-man: then I suddenly
+remembered feeling the same thing in some old actors or old playgoers who
+had modelled themselves on actors. As I came in he said, "If I was the
+Government," and then put a cigar in his mouth which he lit carefully with
+long intakes of breath. Then he took the cigar out of his mouth again and
+said, "I'd give it 'em," as if it were quite a separate sentence. But
+even while his mouth was stopped with the cigar his companion or
+interlocutor leaped to his feet and said with great heartiness, snatching
+up a hat, "Well, I must be off. Tuesday!". I dislike these dark
+suspicions, but I certainly fancied I recognised the sudden geniality with
+which one takes leave of a bore.
+
+When, therefore, he removed the narcotic stopper from his mouth it was to
+me that he addressed the belated epigram. "I'd give it 'em."
+
+"What would you give them," I asked, "the minimum wage?"
+
+"I'd give them beans," he said. "I'd shoot 'em down shoot 'em down, every
+man Jack of them. I lost my best train yesterday, and here's the whole
+country paralysed, and here's a handful of obstinate fellows standing
+between the country and coal. I'd shoot 'em down!"
+
+"That would surely be a little harsh," I pleaded. "After all, they are
+not under martial law, though I suppose two or three of them have
+commissions in the Yeomanry."
+
+"Commissions in the Yeomanry!" he repeated, and his eyes and face, which
+became startling and separate, like those of a boiled lobster, made me
+feel sure that he had something of the kind himself.
+
+"Besides," I continued, "wouldn't it be quite enough to confiscate their
+money?"
+
+"Well, I'd send them all to penal servitude, anyhow," he said, "and I'd
+confiscate their funds as well."
+
+"The policy is daring and full of difficulty," I replied, "but I do not
+say that it is wholly outside the extreme rights of the republic. But you
+must remember that though the facts of property have become quite
+fantastic, yet the sentiment of property still exists. These coal-owners,
+though they have not earned the mines, though they could not work the
+mines, do quite honestly feel that they own the mines. Hence your
+suggestion of shooting them down, or even of confiscating their property,
+raises very--"
+
+"What do you mean?" asked the man with the cigar, with a bullying eye.
+"Who yer talking about?"
+
+"I'm talking about what you were talking about," I replied; "as you put it
+so perfectly, about the handful of obstinate fellows who are standing
+between the country and the coal. I mean the men who are selling their
+own coal for fancy prices, and who, as long as they can get those prices,
+care as little for national starvation as most merchant princes and
+pirates have cared for the provinces that were wasted or the peoples that
+were enslaved just before their ships came home. But though I am a bit of
+a revolutionist myself, I cannot quite go with you in the extreme violence
+you suggest. You say--"
+
+"I say," he cried, bursting through my speech with a really splendid
+energy like that of some noble beast, "I say I'd take all these blasted
+miners and--"
+
+I had risen slowly to my feet, for I was profoundly moved; and I stood
+staring at that mental monster.
+
+"Oh," I said, "so it is the miners who are all to be sent to penal
+servitude, so that we may get more coal. It is the miners who are to be
+shot dead, every man Jack of them; for if once they are all shot dead they
+will start mining again...You must forgive me, sir; I know I seem somewhat
+moved. The fact is, I have just found something. Something I have been
+looking for four years."
+
+"Well," he asked, with no unfriendly stare, "and what have you found?"
+
+"No," I answered, shaking my head sadly, "I do not think it would be quite
+kind to tell you what I have found."
+
+He had a hundred virtues, including the capital virtue of good humour, and
+we had no difficulty in changing the subject and forgetting the
+disagreement. He talked about society, his town friends and his country
+sports, and I discovered in the course of it that he was a county
+magistrate, a Member of Parliament, and a director of several important
+companies. He was also that other thing, which I did not tell him.
+
+The moral is that a certain sort of person does exist, to whose glory this
+article is dedicated. He is not the ordinary man. He is not the miner,
+who is sharp enough to ask for the necessities of existence. He is not
+the mine-owner, who is sharp enough to get a great deal more, by selling
+his coal at the best possible moment. He is not the aristocratic
+politician, who has a cynical but a fair sympathy with both economic
+opportunities. But he is the man who appears in scores of public places
+open to the upper middle class or (that less known but more powerful
+section) the lower upper class. Men like this all over the country are
+really saying whatever comes into their heads in their capacities of
+justice of the peace, candidate for Parliament, Colonel of the Yeomanry,
+old family doctor, Poor Law guardian, coroner, or above all, arbiter in
+trade disputes. He suffers, in the literal sense, from softening of the
+brain; he has softened it by always taking the view of everything most
+comfortable for his country, his class, and his private personality. He
+is a deadly public danger. But as I have given him his name at the
+beginning of this article there is no need for me to repeat it at the end.
+
+
+
+
+THE CONSCRIPT AND THE CRISIS
+
+
+Very few of us ever see the history of our own time happening. And I
+think the best service a modern journalist can do to society is to record
+as plainly as ever he can exactly what impression was produced on his mind
+by anything he has actually seen and heard on the outskirts of any modern
+problem or campaign. Though all he saw of a railway strike was a flat
+meadow in Essex in which a train was becalmed for an hour or two, he will
+probably throw more light on the strike by describing this which he has
+seen than by describing the steely kings of commerce and the bloody
+leaders of the mob whom he has never seen--nor any one else either. If he
+comes a day too late for the battle of Waterloo (as happened to a friend
+of my grandfather) he should still remember that a true account of the day
+after Waterloo would be a most valuable thing to have. Though he was on
+the wrong side of the door when Rizzio was being murdered, we should still
+like to have the wrong side described in the right way. Upon this
+principle I, who know nothing of diplomacy or military arrangements, and
+have only held my breath like the rest of the world while France and
+Germany were bargaining, will tell quite truthfully of a small scene I saw,
+one of the thousand scenes that were, so to speak, the anterooms of that
+inmost chamber of debate.
+
+In the course of a certain morning I came into one of the quiet squares of
+a small French town and found its cathedral. It was one of those gray and
+rainy days which rather suit the Gothic. The clouds were leaden, like the
+solid blue-gray lead of the spires and the jewelled windows; the sloping
+roofs and high-shouldered arches looked like cloaks drooping with damp;
+and the stiff gargoyles that stood out round the walls were scoured with
+old rains and new. I went into the round, deep porch with many doors and
+found two grubby children playing there out of the rain. I also found a
+notice of services, etc., and among these I found the announcement that at
+11.30 (that is about half an hour later) there would be a special service
+for the Conscripts, that is to say, the draft of young men who were being
+taken from their homes in that little town and sent to serve in the French
+Army; sent (as it happened) at an awful moment, when the French Army was
+encamped at a parting of the ways. There were already a great many people
+there when I entered, not only of all kinds, but in all attitudes,
+kneeling, sitting, or standing about. And there was that general sense
+that strikes every man from a Protestant country, whether he dislikes the
+Catholic atmosphere or likes it; I mean, the general sense that the thing
+was "going on all the time"; that it was not an occasion, but a perpetual
+process, as if it were a sort of mystical inn.
+
+Several tricolours were hung quite near to the altar, and the young men,
+when they came in, filed up the church and sat right at the front. They
+were, of course, of every imaginable social grade; for the French
+conscription is really strict and universal. Some looked like young
+criminals, some like young priests, some like both. Some were so
+obviously prosperous and polished that a barrack-room must seem to them
+like hell; others (by the look of them) had hardly ever been in so decent
+a place. But it was not so much the mere class variety that most sharply
+caught an Englishman's eye. It was the presence of just those one or two
+kinds of men who would never have become soldiers in any other way.
+
+There are many reasons for becoming a soldier. It may be a matter of
+hereditary luck or abject hunger or heroic virtue or fugitive vice; it may
+be an interest in the work or a lack of interest in any other work. But
+there would always be two or three kinds of people who would never tend to
+soldiering; all those kinds of people were there. A lad with red hair,
+large ears, and very careful clothing, somehow conveyed across the church
+that he had always taken care of his health, not even from thinking about
+it, but simply because he was told, and that he was one of those who pass
+from childhood to manhood without any shock of being a man. In the row
+in front of him there was a very slight and vivid little Jew, of the sort
+that is a tailor and a Socialist. By one of those accidents that make
+real life so unlike anything else, he was the one of the company who
+seemed especially devout. Behind these stiff or sensitive boys were
+ranged the ranks of their mothers and fathers, with knots and bunches of
+their little brothers and sisters.
+
+The children kicked their little legs, wriggled about the seats, and gaped
+at the arched roof while their mothers were on their knees praying their
+own prayers, and here and there crying. The gray clouds of rain outside
+gathered, I suppose, more and more; for the deep church continuously
+darkened. The lads in front began to sing a military hymn in odd, rather
+strained voices; I could not disentangle the words, but only one perpetual
+refrain; so that it sounded like
+
+
+Sacrarterumbrrar pour la patrie,
+Valdarkararump pour la patrie.
+
+
+Then this ceased; and silence continued, the coloured windows growing
+gloomier and gloomier with the clouds. In the dead stillness a child
+started crying suddenly and incoherently. In a city far to the north a
+French diplomatist and a German aristocrat were talking.
+
+I will not make any commentary on the thing that could blur the outline of
+its almost cruel actuality. I will not talk nor allow any one else to
+talk about "clericalism" and "militarism." Those who talk like that are
+made of the same mud as those who call all the angers of the unfortunate
+"Socialism." The women who were calling in the gloom around me on God and
+the Mother of God were not "clericalists "; or, if they were, they had
+forgotten it. And I will bet my boots the young men were not
+"militarists"--quite the other way just then. The priest made a short
+speech; he did not utter any priestly dogmas (whatever they are), he
+uttered platitudes. In such circumstances platitudes are the only
+possible things to say; because they are true. He began by saying that he
+supposed a large number of them would be uncommonly glad not to go. They
+seemed to assent to this particular priestly dogma with even more than
+their alleged superstitious credulity. He said that war was hateful, and
+that we all hated it; but that "in all things reasonable" the law of one's
+own commonwealth was the voice of God. He spoke about Joan of Arc; and
+how she had managed to be a bold and successful soldier while still
+preserving her virtue and practising her religion; then he gave them each
+a little paper book. To which they replied (after a brief interval for
+reflection):
+
+
+Pongprongperesklang pour la patrie,
+Tambraugtararronc pour la patrie.
+
+
+which I feel sure was the best and most pointed reply.
+
+While all this was happening feelings quite indescribable crowded about my
+own darkening brain, as the clouds crowded above the darkening church.
+They were so entirely of the elements and the passions that I cannot utter
+them in an idea, but only in an image. It seemed to me that we were
+barricaded in this church, but we could not tell what was happening
+outside the church. The monstrous and terrible jewels of the windows
+darkened or glistened under moving shadow or light, but the nature of that
+light and the shapes of those shadows we did not know and hardly dared to
+guess. The dream began, I think, with a dim fancy that enemies were
+already in the town, and that the enormous oaken doors were groaning under
+their hammers. Then I seemed to suppose that the town itself had been
+destroyed by fire, and effaced, as it may be thousands of years hence, and
+that if I opened the door I should come out on a wilderness as flat and
+sterile as the sea. Then the vision behind the veil of stone and slate
+grew wilder with earthquakes. I seemed to see chasms cloven to the
+foundations of all things, and letting up an infernal dawn. Huge things
+happily hidden from us had climbed out of the abyss, and were striding
+about taller than the clouds. And when the darkness crept from the
+sapphires of Mary to the sanguine garments of St. John I fancied that some
+hideous giant was walking round the church and looking in at each window
+in turn.
+
+Sometimes, again, I thought of that church with coloured windows as a ship
+carrying many lanterns struggling in a high sea at night. Sometimes I
+thought of it as a great coloured lantern itself, hung on an iron chain
+out of heaven and tossed and swung to and fro by strong wings, the wings
+of the princes of the air. But I never thought of it or the young men
+inside it save as something precious and in peril, or of the things
+outside but as something barbaric and enormous.
+
+I know there are some who cannot sympathise with such sentiments of
+limitation; I know there are some who would feel no touch of the heroic
+tenderness if some day a young man, with red hair, large ears, and his
+mother's lozenges in his pocket, were found dead in uniform in the passes
+of the Vosges. But on this subject I have heard many philosophies and
+thought a good deal for myself; and the conclusion I have come to is
+Sacrarterumbrrar pour la Pattie, and it is not likely that I shall alter
+it now.
+
+But when I came out of the church there were none of these things, but
+only a lot of Shops, including a paper-shop, on which the posters
+announced that the negotiations were proceeding satisfactorily.
+
+
+
+
+THE MISER AND HIS FRIENDS
+
+
+It is a sign of sharp sickness in a society when it is actually led by
+some special sort of lunatic. A mild touch of madness may even keep a man
+sane; for it may keep him modest. So some exaggerations in the State may
+remind it of its own normal. But it is bad when the head is cracked; when
+the roof of the commonwealth has a tile loose.
+
+The two or three cases of this that occur in history have always been
+gibbeted gigantically. Thus Nero has become a black proverb, not merely
+because he was an oppressor, but because he was also an aesthete--that is,
+an erotomaniac. He not only tortured other people's bodies; he tortured
+his own soul into the same red revolting shapes. Though he came quite
+early in Roman Imperial history and was followed by many austere and noble
+emperors, yet for us the Roman Empire was never quite cleansed of that
+memory of the sexual madman. The populace or barbarians from whom we come
+could not forget the hour when they came to the highest place of the earth,
+saw the huge pedestal of the earthly omnipotence, read on it Divus Caesar,
+and looked up and saw a statue without a head.
+
+It is the same with that ugly entanglement before the Renaissance, from
+which, alas, most memories of the Middle Ages are derived. Louis XI was a
+very patient and practical man of the world; but (like many good business
+men) he was mad. The morbidity of the intriguer and the torturer clung
+about everything he did, even when it was right. And just as the great
+Empire of Antoninus and Aurelius never wiped out Nero, so even the silver
+splendour of the latter saints, such as Vincent de Paul, has never painted
+out for the British public the crooked shadow of Louis XI. Whenever the
+unhealthy man has been on top, he has left a horrible savour that humanity
+finds still in its nostrils. Now in our time the unhealthy man is on top;
+but he is not the man mad on sex, like Nero; or mad on statecraft, like
+Louis XI; he is simply the man mad on money. Our tyrant is not the satyr
+or the torturer; but the miser.
+
+The modern miser has changed much from the miser of legend and anecdote;
+but only because he has grown yet more insane. The old miser had some
+touch of the human artist about him in so far that he collected gold--a
+substance that can really be admired for itself, like ivory or old oak.
+An old man who picked up yellow pieces had something of the simple ardour,
+something of the mystical materialism, of a child who picks out yellow
+flowers. Gold is but one kind of coloured clay, but coloured clay can be
+very beautiful. The modern idolater of riches is content with far less
+genuine things. The glitter of guineas is like the glitter of buttercups,
+the chink of pelf is like the chime of bells, compared with the dreary
+papers and dead calculations which make the hobby of the modern miser.
+
+The modern millionaire loves nothing so lovable as a coin. He is content
+sometimes with the dead crackle of notes; but far more often with the mere
+repetition of noughts in a ledger, all as like each other as eggs to eggs.
+And as for comfort, the old miser could be comfortable, as many tramps
+and savages are, when he was once used to being unclean. A man could find
+some comfort in an unswept attic or an unwashed shirt. But the Yankee
+millionaire can find no comfort with five telephones at his bed-head and
+ten minutes for his lunch. The round coins in the miser's stocking were
+safe in some sense. The round noughts in the millionaire's ledger are
+safe in no sense; the same fluctuation which excites him with their
+increase depresses him with their diminution. The miser at least collects
+coins; his hobby is numismatics. The man who collects noughts collects
+nothings.
+
+It may be admitted that the man amassing millions is a bit of an idiot;
+but it may be asked in what sense does he rule the modern world. The
+answer to this is very important and rather curious. The evil enigma for
+us here is not the rich, but the Very Rich. The distinction is important;
+because this special problem is separate from the old general quarrel
+about rich and poor that runs through the Bible and all strong books, old
+and new. The special problem to-day is that certain powers and privileges
+have grown so world-wide and unwieldy that they are out of the power of
+the moderately rich as well as of the moderately poor. They are out of
+the power of everybody except a few millionaires--that is, misers. In
+the old normal friction of normal wealth and poverty I am myself on the
+Radical side. I think that a Berkshire squire has too much power over his
+tenants; that a Brompton builder has too much power over his workmen; that
+a West London doctor has too much power over the poor patients in the West
+London Hospital.
+
+But a Berkshire squire has no power over cosmopolitan finance, for
+instance. A Brompton builder has not money enough to run a Newspaper
+Trust. A West End doctor could not make a corner in quinine and freeze
+everybody out. The merely rich are not rich enough to rule the modern
+market. The things that change modern history, the big national and
+international loans, the big educational and philanthropic foundations,
+the purchase of numberless newspapers, the big prices paid for peerages,
+the big expenses often incurred in elections--these are getting too big
+for everybody except the misers; the men with the largest of earthly
+fortunes and the smallest of earthly aims.
+
+There are two other odd and rather important things to be said about them.
+The first is this: that with this aristocracy we do not have the chance
+of a lucky variety in types which belongs to larger and looser
+aristocracies. The moderately rich include all kinds of people even good
+people. Even priests are sometimes saints; and even soldiers are
+sometimes heroes. Some doctors have really grown wealthy by curing their
+patients and not by flattering them; some brewers have been known to sell
+beer. But among the Very Rich you will never find a really generous man,
+even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never
+give themselves away; they are egoistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To
+be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.
+
+Lastly, the most serious point about them is this: that the new miser is
+flattered for his meanness and the old one never was. It was never called
+self-denial in the old miser that he lived on bones. It is called
+self-denial in the new millionaire if he lives on beans. A man like
+Dancer was never praised as a Christian saint for going in rags. A man
+like Rockefeller is praised as a sort of pagan stoic for his early rising
+or his unassuming dress. His "simple" meals, his "simple" clothes, his
+"simple" funeral, are all extolled as if they were creditable to him.
+They are disgraceful to him: exactly as disgraceful as the tatters and
+vermin of the old miser were disgraceful to him. To be in rags for
+charity would be the condition of a saint; to be in rags for money was
+that of a filthy old fool. Precisely in the same way, to be "simple" for
+charity is the state of a saint; to be "simple" for money is that of a
+filthy old fool. Of the two I have more respect for the old miser,
+gnawing bones in an attic: if he was not nearer to God, he was at least a
+little nearer to men. His simple life was a little more like the life of
+the real poor.
+
+
+
+
+THE MYSTAGOGUE
+
+
+Whenever you hear much of things being unutterable and indefinable and
+impalpable and unnamable and subtly indescribable, then elevate your
+aristocratic nose towards heaven and snuff up the smell of decay. It is
+perfectly true that there is something in all good things that is beyond
+all speech or figure of speech. But it is also true that there is in all
+good things a perpetual desire for expression and concrete embodiment; and
+though the attempt to embody it is always inadequate, the attempt is
+always made. If the idea does not seek to be the word, the chances are
+that it is an evil idea. If the word is not made flesh it is a bad word.
+
+Thus Giotto or Fra Angelieo would have at once admitted theologically that
+God was too good to be painted; but they would always try to paint Him.
+And they felt (very rightly) that representing Him as a rather quaint old
+man with a gold crown and a white beard, like a king of the elves, was
+less profane than resisting the sacred impulse to express Him in some way.
+That is why the Christian world is full of gaudy pictures and twisted
+statues which seem, to many refined persons, more blasphemous than the
+secret volumes of an atheist. The trend of good is always towards
+Incarnation. But, on the other hand, those refined thinkers who worship
+the Devil, whether in the swamps of Jamaica or the salons of Paris, always
+insist upon the shapelessness, the wordlessness, the unutterable character
+of the abomination. They call him "horror of emptiness," as did the black
+witch in Stevenson's Dynamiter; they worship him as the unspeakable name;
+as the unbearable silence. They think of him as the void in the heart of
+the whirlwind; the cloud on the brain of the maniac; the toppling turrets
+of vertigo or the endless corridors of nightmare. It was the Christians
+who gave the Devil a grotesque and energetic outline, with sharp horns and
+spiked tail. It was the saints who drew Satan as comic and even lively.
+The Satanists never drew him at all.
+
+And as it is with moral good and evil, so it is also with mental clarity
+and mental confusion. There is one very valid test by which we may
+separate genuine, if perverse and unbalanced, originality and revolt from
+mere impudent innovation and bluff. The man who really thinks he has an
+idea will always try to explain that idea. The charlatan who has no idea
+will always confine himself to explaining that it is much too subtle to be
+explained. The first idea may really be very outree or specialist; it may
+really be very difficult to express to ordinary people. But because the
+man is trying to express it, it is most probable that there is something
+in it, after all. The honest man is he who is always trying to utter the
+unutterable, to describe the indescribable; but the quack lives not by
+plunging into mystery, but by refusing to come out of it.
+
+Perhaps this distinction is most comically plain in the case of the thing
+called Art, and the people called Art Critics. It is obvious that an
+attractive landscape or a living face can only half express the holy
+cunning that has made them what they are. It is equally obvious that a
+landscape painter expresses only half of the landscape; a portrait painter
+only half of the person; they are lucky if they express so much. And
+again it is yet more obvious that any literary description of the pictures
+can only express half of them, and that the less important half. Still,
+it does express something; the thread is not broken that connects God With
+Nature, or Nature with men, or men with critics. The "Mona Lisa" was in
+some respects (not all, I fancy) what God meant her to be. Leonardo's
+picture was, in some respects, like the lady. And Walter Pater's rich
+description was, in some respects, like the picture. Thus we come to the
+consoling reflection that even literature, in the last resort, can express
+something other than its own unhappy self.
+
+Now the modern critic is a humbug, because he professes to be entirely
+inarticulate. Speech is his whole business; and he boasts of being
+speechless. Before Botticelli he is mute. But if there is any good in
+Botticelli (there is much good, and much evil too) it is emphatically the
+critic's business to explain it: to translate it from terms of painting
+into terms of diction. Of course, the rendering will be inadequate--but
+so is Botticelli. It is a fact he would be the first to admit. But
+anything which has been intelligently received can at least be
+intelligently suggested. Pater does suggest an intelligent cause for the
+cadaverous colour of Botticelli's "Venus Rising from the Sea." Ruskin
+does suggest an intelligent motive for Turner destroying forests and
+falsifying landscapes. These two great critics were far too fastidious
+for my taste; they urged to excess the idea that a sense of art was a sort
+of secret; to be patiently taught and slowly learnt. Still, they thought
+it could be taught: they thought it could be learnt. They constrained
+themselves, with considerable creative fatigue, to find the exact
+adjectives which might parallel in English prose what has been clone in
+Italian painting. The same is true of Whistler and R. A. M. Stevenson
+and many others in the exposition of Velasquez. They had something to say
+about the pictures; they knew it was unworthy of the pictures, but they
+said it.
+
+Now the eulogists of the latest artistic insanities (Cubism and
+Post Impressionism and Mr. Picasso) are eulogists and nothing else. They
+are not critics; least of all creative critics. They do not attempt to
+translate beauty into language; they merely tell you that it is
+untranslatable--that is, unutterable, indefinable, indescribable,
+impalpable, ineffable, and all the rest of it. The cloud is their banner;
+they cry to chaos and old night. They circulate a piece of paper on which
+Mr. Picasso has had the misfortune to upset the ink and tried to dry it
+with his boots, and they seek to terrify democracy by the good old
+anti-democratic muddlements: that "the public" does not understand these
+things; that "the likes of us" cannot dare to question the dark decisions
+of our lords.
+
+I venture to suggest that we resist all this rubbish by the very simple
+test mentioned above. If there were anything intelligent in such art,
+something of it at least could be made intelligible in literature. Man is
+made with one head, not with two or three. No criticism of Rembrandt is
+as good as Rembrandt; but it can be so written as to make a man go back
+and look at his pictures. If there is a curious and fantastic art, it is
+the business of the art critics to create a curious and fantastic literary
+expression for it; inferior to it, doubtless, but still akin to it. If
+they cannot do this, as they cannot; if there is nothing in their eulogies,
+as there is nothing except eulogy--then they are quacks or the
+high-priests of the unutterable. If the art critics can say nothing about
+the artists except that they are good it is because the artists are bad.
+They can explain nothing because they have found nothing; and they have
+found nothing because there is nothing to be found.
+
+
+
+
+THE RED REACTIONARY
+
+
+The one case for Revolution is that it is the only quite clean and
+complete road to anything--even to restoration. Revolution alone can be
+not merely a revolt of the living, but also a resurrection of the dead.
+
+A friend of mine (one, in fact, who writes prominently on this paper) was
+once walking down the street in a town of Western France, situated in that
+area that used to be called La Vendee; which in that great creative crisis
+about 1790 formed a separate and mystical soul of its own, and made a
+revolution against a revolution. As my friend went down this street he
+whistled an old French air which he had found, like Mr. Gandish, "in his
+researches into 'istry," and which had somehow taken his fancy; the song
+to which those last sincere loyalists went into battle. I think the
+words ran:
+
+Monsieur de Charette.
+Dit au gens d'ici.
+Le roi va remettre.
+Le fleur de lys.
+
+My friend was (and is) a Radical, but he was (and is) an Englishman, and
+it never occurred to him that there could be any harm in singing archaic
+lyrics out of remote centuries; that one had to be a Catholic to enjoy the
+"Dies Irae," or a Protestant to remember "Lillibullero." Yet he was
+stopped and gravely warned that things so politically provocative might
+get him at least into temporary trouble.
+
+A little time after I was helping King George V to get crowned, by walking
+round a local bonfire and listening to a local band. Just as a bonfire
+cannot be too big, so (by my theory of music) a band cannot be too loud,
+and this band was so loud, emphatic, and obvious, that I actually
+recognised one or two of the tunes. And I noticed that quite a formidable
+proportion of them were Jacobite tunes; that is, tunes that had been
+primarily meant to keep George V out of his throne for ever. Some of the
+real airs of the old Scottish rebellion were played, such as "Charlie is
+My Darling," or "What's a' the steer, kimmer?" songs that men had sung
+while marching to destroy and drive out the monarchy under which we live.
+They were songs in which the very kinsmen of the present King were swept
+aside as usurpers. They were songs in which the actual words "King
+George" occurred as a curse and a derision. Yet they were played to
+celebrate his very Coronation; played as promptly and innocently as if
+they had been "Grandfather's Clock" or "Rule Britannia" or "The
+Honeysuckle and the Bee."
+
+That contrast is the measure, not only between two nations, but between
+two modes of historical construction and development. For there is not
+really very much difference, as European history goes, in the time that
+has elapsed between us and the Jacobite and between us and the Jacobin.
+When George III was crowned the gauntlet of the King's Champion was picked
+up by a partisan of the Stuarts. When George III was still on the throne
+the Bourbons were driven out of France as the Stuarts had been driven out
+of England. Yet the French are just sufficiently aware that the Bourbons
+might possibly return that they will take a little trouble to discourage
+it; whereas we are so certain that the Stuarts will never return that we
+actually play their most passionate tunes as a compliment to their rivals.
+And we do not even do it tauntingly. I examined the faces of all the
+bandsmen; and I am sure they were devoid of irony: indeed, it is difficult
+to blow a wind instrument ironically. We do it quite unconsciously;
+because we have a huge fundamental dogma, which the French have not. We
+really believe that the past is past. It is a very doubtful point.
+
+Now the great gift of a revolution (as in France) is that it makes men
+free in the past as well as free in the future. Those who have cleared
+away everything could, if they liked, put back everything. But we who
+have preserved everything--we cannot restore anything. Take, for the sake
+of argument, the complex and many coloured ritual of the Coronation
+recently completed. That rite is stratified with the separate centuries;
+from the first rude need of discipline to the last fine shade of culture
+or corruption, there is nothing that cannot be detected or even dated.
+The fierce and childish vow of the lords to serve their lord "against all
+manner of folk" obviously comes from the real Dark Ages; no longer
+confused, even by the ignorant, with the Middle Ages. It comes from some
+chaos of Europe, when there was one old Roman road across four of our
+counties; and when hostile "folk" might live in the next village. The
+sacramental separation of one man to be the friend of the fatherless and
+the nameless belongs to the true Middle Ages; with their great attempt to
+make a moral and invisible Roman Empire; or (as the Coronation Service
+says) to set the cross for ever above the ball. Elaborate local
+tomfooleries, such as that by which the Lord of the Manor of Work-sop is
+alone allowed to do something or other, these probably belong to the decay
+of the Middle Ages, when that great civilisation died out in grotesque
+literalism and entangled heraldry. Things like the presentation of the
+Bible bear witness to the intellectual outburst at the Reformation; things
+like the Declaration against the Mass bear witness to the great wars of
+the Puritans; and things like the allegiance of the Bishops bear witness
+to the wordy and parenthetical political compromises which (to my deep
+regret) ended the wars of religion.
+
+But my purpose here is only to point out one particular thing. In all
+that long list of variations there must be, and there are, things which
+energetic modern minds would really wish, with the reasonable modification,
+to restore. Dr. Clifford would probably be glad to see again the great
+Puritan idealism that forced the Bible into an antique and almost frozen
+formality. Dr. Horton probably really regrets the old passion that
+excommunicated Rome. In the same way Mr. Belloc would really prefer the
+Middle Ages; as Lord Rosebery would prefer the Erastian oligarchy of the
+eighteenth century. The Dark Ages would probably be disputed (from widely
+different motives) by Mr. Rudyard Kipling and Mr. Cunninghame Graham.
+But Mr. Cunninghame Graham would win.
+
+But the black case against Conservative (or Evolutionary) politics is that
+none of these sincere men can win. Dr. Clifford cannot get back to the
+Puritans; Mr. Belloc cannot get back to the mediaevals; because (alas)
+there has been no Revolution to leave them a clear space for building or
+rebuilding. Frenchmen have all the ages behind them, and can wander back
+and pick and choose. But Englishmen have all the ages on top of them, and
+can only lie groaning under that imposing tower, without being able to
+take so much as a brick out of it. If the French decide that their
+Republic is bad they can get rid of it; but if we decide that a Republic
+was good, we should have much more difficulty. If the French democracy
+actually desired every detail of the mediaeval monarchy, they could have
+it. I do not think they will or should, but they could. If another
+Dauphin were actually crowned at Rheims; if another Joan of Arc actually
+bore a miraculous banner before him; if mediaeval swords shook and.
+blazed in every gauntlet; if the golden lilies glowed from every tapestry;
+if this were really proved to be the will of France and the purpose of
+Providence--such a scene would still be the lasting and final
+justification of the French Revolution.
+
+For no such scene could conceivably have happened under Louis XVI.
+
+
+
+
+THE SEPARATIST AND SACRED THINGS
+
+
+In the very laudable and fascinating extensions of our interest in Asiatic
+arts or faiths, there are two incidental injustices which we tend nowadays
+to do to our own records and our own religion. The first is a tendency to
+talk as if certain things were not only present in the higher Orientals,
+but were peculiar to them. Thus our magazines will fall into a habit of
+wondering praise of Bushido, the Japanese chivalry, as if no Western
+knights had ever vowed noble vows, or as if no Eastern knights had ever
+broken them. Or again, our drawing-rooms will be full of the praises of
+Indian renunciation and Indian unworldliness, as if no Christians had been
+saints, or as if all Buddhists had been. But if the first injustice is to
+think of human virtues as peculiarly Eastern, the other injustice is a
+failure to appreciate what really is peculiarly Eastern. It is too much
+taken for granted that the Eastern sort of idealism is certainly superior
+and convincing; whereas in truth it is only separate and peculiar. All
+that is richest, deepest, and subtlest in the East is rooted in Pantheism;
+but all that is richest, deepest, and subtlest in us is concerned with
+denying passionately that Pantheism is either the highest or the purest
+religion.
+
+Thus, in turning over some excellent books recently written on the spirit
+of Indian or Chinese art and decoration, I found it quietly and curiously
+assumed that the artist must be at his best if he flows with the full
+stream of Nature; and identifies himself with all things; so that the
+stars are his sleepless eyes and the forests his far-flung arms. Now in
+this way of talking both the two injustices will be found. In so far as
+what is claimed is a strong sense of the divine in all things, the Eastern
+artists have no more monopoly of it than they have of hunger and thirst.
+
+I have no doubt that the painters and poets of the Far East do exhibit
+this; but I rebel at being asked to admit that we must go to the Far East
+to find it. Traces of such sentiments can be found, I fancy, even in
+other painters and poets. I do not question that the poet Wo Wo (that
+ornament of the eighth dynasty) may have written the words: "Even the most
+undignified vegetable is for this person capable of producing meditations
+not to be exhibited by much weeping." But, I do not therefore admit that
+a Western gentleman named Wordsworth (who made a somewhat similar remark)
+had plagiarised from Wo Wo, or was a mere Occidental fable and travesty of
+that celebrated figure. I do not deny that Tinishona wrote that exquisite
+example of the short Japanese poem entitled "Honourable Chrysanthemum in
+Honourable Hole in Wall." But I do not therefore admit that Tennyson's
+little verse about the flower in the cranny was not original and even
+sincere.
+
+It is recorded (for all I know) of the philanthropic Emperor Bo, that when
+engaged in cutting his garden lawn with a mower made of alabaster and
+chrysoberyl, he chanced to cut down a small flower; whereupon, being much
+affected, he commanded his wise men immediately to take down upon tablets
+of ivory the lines beginning: "Small and unobtrusive blossom with ruby
+extremities." But this incident, touching as it is, does not shake my
+belief in the incident of Robert Burns and the daisy; and I am left with
+an impression that poets are pretty much the same everywhere in their
+poetry--and in their prose.
+
+I have tried to convey my sympathy and admiration for Eastern art and its
+admirers, and if I have not conveyed them I must give it up and go on to
+more general considerations. I therefore proceed to say--with the utmost
+respect, that it is Cheek, a rarefied and etherealised form of Cheek, for
+this school to speak in this way about the mother that bore them, the
+great civilisation of the West. The West also has its magic landscapes,
+only through our incurable materialism they look like landscapes as well
+as like magic. The West also has its symbolic figures, only they look
+like men as well as symbols. It will be answered (and most justly) that
+Oriental art ought to be free to follow its own instinct and tradition;
+that its artists are concerned to suggest one thing and our artists
+another; that both should be admired in their difference. Profoundly true;
+but what is the difference? It is certainly not as the Orientalisers
+assert, that we must go to the Far East for a sympathetic and
+transcendental interpretation of Nature. We have paid a long enough toll
+of mystics and even of madmen to be quit of that disability.
+
+Yet there is a difference, and it is just what I suggested. The Eastern
+mysticism is an ecstasy of unity; the Christian mysticism is an ecstasy of
+creation, that is of separation and mutual surprise. The latter says,
+like St. Francis, "My brother fire and my sister water "; the former says,
+"Myself fire and myself water." Whether you call the Eastern attitude an
+extension of oneself into everything or a contraction of oneself into
+nothing is a matter of metaphysical definition. The effect is the same,
+an effect which lives and throbs throughout all the exquisite arts of the
+East. This effect is the Sing called rhythm, a pulsation of pattern, or
+of ritual, or of colours, or of cosmic theory, but always suggesting the
+unification of the individual with the world. But there is quite another
+kind of sympathy the sympathy with a thing because it is different. No
+one will say that Rembrandt did not sympathise with an old woman; but no
+one will say that Rembrandt painted like an old woman. No one will say
+that Reynolds did not appreciate children; but no one will say he did it
+childishly. The supreme instance of this divine division is sex, and that
+explains (what I could never understand in my youth) why Christendom
+called the soul the bride of God. For real love is an intense
+realisation of the "separateness" of all our souls. The most heroic and
+human love-poetry of the world is never mere passion; precisely because
+mere passion really is a melting back into Nature, a meeting of the waters.
+And water is plunging and powerful; but it is only powerful downhill.
+The high and human love-poetry is all about division rather than identity;
+and in the great love-poems even the man as he embraces the woman sees her,
+in the same instant, afar off; a virgin and a stranger.
+
+For the first injustice, of which we have spoken, still recurs; and if we
+grant that the East has a right to its difference, it is not realised in
+what we differ. That nursery tale from nowhere about St. George and the
+Dragon really expresses best the relation between the West and the East.
+There were many other differences, calculated to arrest even the
+superficial eye, between a saint and a dragon. But the essential
+difference was simply this: that the Dragon did want to eat St. George;
+whereas St. George would have felt a strong distaste for eating the Dragon.
+In most of the stories he killed the Dragon. In many of the stories he
+not only spared, but baptised it. But in neither case did the Christian
+have any appetite for cold dragon. The Dragon, however, really has an
+appetite for cold Christian--and especially for cold Christianity. This
+blind intention to absorb, to change the shape of everything and digest it
+in the darkness of a dragon's stomach; this is what is really meant by the
+Pantheism and Cosmic Unity of the East. The Cosmos as such is cannibal;
+as old Time ate his children. The Eastern saints were saints because they
+wanted to be swallowed up. The Western saint, like St. George, was
+sainted by the Western Church precisely because he refused to be swallowed.
+The same process of thought that has prevented nationalities
+disappearing in Christendom has prevented the complete appearance of
+Pantheism. All Christian men instinctively resist the idea of being
+absorbed into an Empire; an Austrian, a Spanish, a British, or a Turkish
+Empire. But there is one empire, much larger and much more tyrannical,
+which free men will resist with even stronger passion. The free man
+violently resists being absorbed into the empire which is called the
+Universe. He demands Home Rule for his nationality, but still more Home
+Rule for his home. Most of all he demands Home Rule for himself. He
+claims the right to be saved, in spite of Moslem fatalism. He claims the
+right to be damned in spite of theosophical optimism. He refuses to be
+the Cosmos; because he refuses to forget it.
+
+
+
+
+THE MUMMER
+
+
+The night before Christmas Eve I heard a burst of musical voices so close
+that they might as well have been inside the house instead of just outside;
+so I asked them inside, hoping that they might then seem farther away.
+Then I realised that they were the Christmas Mummers, who come every year
+in country parts to enact the rather rigid fragments of the old Christmas
+play of St. George, the Turkish Knight, and the Very Venal Doctor. I will
+not describe it; it is indescribable; but I will describe my parallel
+sentiments as it passed.
+
+One could see something of that half-failure that haunts our artistic
+revivals of mediaeval dances, carols, or Bethlehem Plays. There are
+elements in all that has come to us from the more morally simple society
+of the Middle Ages: elements which moderns, even when they are
+mediaevalists, find it hard to understand and harder to imitate. The
+first is the primary idea of Mummery itself. If you will observe a child
+just able to walk, you will see that his first idea is not to dress up as
+anybody--but to dress up. Afterwards, of course, the idea of being the
+King or Uncle William will leap to his lips. But it is generally
+suggested by the hat he has already let fall over his nose, from far
+deeper motives. Tommy does not assume the hat primarily because it is
+Uncle William's hat, but because it is not Tommy's hat. It is a ritual
+investiture; and is akin to those Gorgon masks that stiffened the dances
+of Greece or those towering mitres that came from the mysteries of Persia.
+For the essence of such ritual is a profound paradox: the concealment of
+the personality combined with the exaggeration of the person. The man
+performing a rite seeks to be at once invisible and conspicuous. It is
+part of that divine madness which all other creatures wonder at in Man,
+that he alone parades this pomp of obliteration and anonymity. Man is not,
+perhaps, the only creature who dresses himself, but he is the only
+creature who disguises himself. Beasts and birds do indeed take the
+colours of their environment; but that is not in order to be watched, but
+in order not to be watched; it is not the formalism of rejoicing, but the
+formlessness of fear. It is not so with men, whose nature is the
+unnatural. Ancient Britons did not stain themselves blue because they
+lived in blue forests; nor did Georgian beaux and belles powder their hair
+to match an Arctic landscape; the Britons were not dressing up as
+kingfishers nor the beaux pretending to be polar bears. Nay, even when
+modern ladies paint their faces a bright mauve, it is doubted by some
+naturalists whether they do it with the idea of escaping notice. So
+merry-makers (or Mummers) adopt their costume to heighten and exaggerate
+their own bodily presence and identity; not to sink it, primarily speaking,
+in another identity. It is not Acting--that comparatively low
+profession-comparatively I mean. It is Mummery; and, as Mr. Kensit would
+truly say, all elaborate religious ritual is Mummery. That is, it is the
+noble conception of making Man something other and more than himself when
+he stands at the limit of human things. It is only careful faddists and
+feeble German philosophers who want to wear no clothes; and be "natural"
+in their Dionysian revels. Natural men, really vigorous and exultant men,
+want to wear more and more clothes when they are revelling. They want
+worlds of waistcoats and forests of trousers and pagodas of tall hats
+toppling up to the stars.
+
+Thus it is with the lingering Mummers at Christmas in the country. If our
+more refined revivers of Miracle Plays or Morrice Dances tried to
+reconstruct the old Mummers' Play of St. George and the Turkish Knight (I
+do not know why they do not) they would think at once of picturesque and
+appropriate dresses. St. George's panoply would be pictured from the best
+books of armour and blazonry: the Turkish Knight's arms and ornaments
+would be traced from the finest Saracenic arabesques. When my garden door
+opened on Christmas Eve and St. George of England entered, the appearance
+of that champion was slightly different. His face was energetically
+blacked all over with soot, above which he wore an aged and very tall top
+hat; he wore his shirt outside his coat like a surplice, and he flourished
+a thick umbrella. Now do not, I beg you, talk about "ignorance"; or
+suppose that the Mummer in question (he is a very pleasant Ratcatcher,
+with a tenor voice) did this because he knew no better. Try to realise
+that even a Ratcatcher knows St. George of England was not black, and did
+not kill the Dragon with an umbrella. The Rat-catcher is not under this
+delusion; any more than Paul Veronese thought that very good men have
+luminous rings round their heads; any more than the Pope thinks that
+Christ washed the feet of the twelve in a Cathedral; any more than the
+Duke of Norfolk thinks the lions on a tabard are like the lions at the Zoo.
+These things are denaturalised because they are symbols; because the
+extraordinary occasion must hide or even disfigure the ordinary people.
+Black faces were to mediaeval mummeries what carved masks were to Greek
+plays: it was called being "vizarded." My Rat-catcher is not sufficiently
+arrogant to suppose for a moment that he looks like St. George. But he is
+sufficiently humble to be convinced that if he looks as little like
+himself as he can, he will be on the right road.
+
+This is the soul of Mumming; the ostentatious secrecy of men in disguise.
+There are, of course, other mediaeval elements in it which are also
+difficult to explain to the fastidious mediaevalists of to-day. There is,
+for instance, a certain output of violence into the void. It can best be
+defined as a raging thirst to knock men down without the faintest desire
+to hurt them. All the rhymes with the old ring have the trick of turning
+on everything in which the rhymsters most sincerely believed, merely for
+the pleasure of blowing off steam in startling yet careless phrases. When
+Tennyson says that King Arthur "drew all the petty princedoms under him,"
+and "made a realm and ruled," his grave Royalism is quite modern. Many
+mediaevals, outside the mediaeval republics, believed in monarchy as
+solemnly as Tennyson. But that older verse
+
+When good King Arthur ruled this land
+He was a goodly King--
+He stole three pecks of barley-meal
+To make a bag-pudding.
+
+is far more Arthurian than anything in The Idylls of the King. There are
+other elements; especially that sacred thing that can perhaps be called
+Anachronism. All that to us is Anachronism was to mediaevals merely
+Eternity. But the main excellence of the Mumming Play lies still, I think,
+in its uproarious secrecy. If we cannot hide our hearts in healthy
+darkness, at least we can hide our faces in healthy blacking. If you
+cannot escape like a philosopher into a forest, at least you can carry the
+forest with you, like a Jack-in-the-Green. It is well to walk under
+universal ensigns; and there is an old tale of a tyrant to whom a walking
+forest was the witness of doom. That, indeed, is the very intensity of
+the notion: a masked man is ominous; but who shall face a mob of masks?
+
+
+
+
+THE ARISTOCRATIC 'ARRY
+
+
+The Cheap Tripper, pursued by the curses of the aesthetes and the
+antiquaries, really is, I suppose, a symptom of the strange and almost
+unearthly ugliness of our diseased society. The costumes and customs of a
+hundred peasantries are there to prove that such ugliness does not
+necessarily follow from mere poverty, or mere democracy, or mere
+unlettered simplicity of mind.
+
+But though the tripper, artistically considered, is a sign of our
+decadence, he is not one of its worst signs, but relatively one of its
+best; one of its most innocent and most sincere. Compared with many of
+the philosophers and artists who denounce him; he looks like a God fearing
+fisher or a noble mountaineer. His antics with donkeys and concertinas,
+crowded charabancs, and exchanged hats, though clumsy, are not so vicious
+or even so fundamentally vulgar as many of the amusements of the
+overeducated. People are not more crowded on a char-a-banc than they are
+at a political "At Home," or even an artistic soiree; and if the female
+trippers are overdressed, at least they are not overdressed and
+underdressed at the same time. It is better to ride a donkey than to be a
+donkey. It is better to deal with the Cockney festival which asks men and
+women to change hats, rather than with the modern Utopia that wants them
+to change heads.
+
+But the truth is that such small, but real, element of vulgarity as there
+is indeed in the tripper, is part of a certain folly and falsity which is
+characteristic of much modernity, and especially of the very people who
+persecute the poor tripper most. There is something in the whole society,
+and even especially in the cultured part of it, that does things in a
+clumsy and unbeautiful way.
+
+A case occurs to me in the matter of Stonehenge, which I happened to visit
+yesterday. Now to a person really capable of feeling the poetry of
+Stonehenge it is almost a secondary matter whether he sees Stonehenge at
+all. The vast void roll of the empty land towards Salisbury, the gray
+tablelands like primeval altars, the trailing rain-clouds, the vapour of
+primeval sacrifices, would all tell him of a very ancient and very lonely
+Britain. It would not spoil his Druidic mood if he missed Stonehenge.
+But it does spoil his mood to find Stonehenge--surrounded by a brand-new
+fence of barbed wire, with a policeman and a little shop selling picture
+post-cards.
+
+Now if you protest against this, educated people will instantly answer you,
+"Oh, it was done to prevent the vulgar trippers who chip stones and carve
+names and spoil the look of Stonehenge." It does not seem to occur to
+them that barbed wire and a policeman rather spoil the look of Stonehenge.
+The scratching of a name, particularly when performed with blunt penknife
+or pencil by a person of imperfect School Board education, can be trusted
+in a little while to be indistinguishable from the grayest hieroglyphic by
+the grandest Druid of old. But nobody could get a modern policeman into
+the same picture with a Druid. This really vital piece of vandalism was
+done by the educated, not the uneducated; it was done by the influence of
+the artists or antiquaries who wanted to preserve the antique beauty of
+Stonehenge. It seems to me curious to preserve your lady's beauty from
+freckles by blacking her face all over; or to protect the pure whiteness
+of your wedding garment by dyeing it green.
+
+And if you ask, "But what else could any one have done, what could the
+most artistic age have done to save the monument?" I reply, "There are
+hundreds of things that Greeks or Mediaevals might have done; and I have
+no notion what they would have chosen; but I say that by an instinct in
+their whole society they would have done something that was decent and
+serious and suitable to the place. Perhaps some family of knights or
+warriors would have the hereditary duty of guarding such a place. If so
+their armour would be appropriate; their tents would be appropriate; not
+deliberately--they would grow like that. Perhaps some religious order
+such as normally employ nocturnal watches and the relieving of guard would
+protect such a place. Perhaps it would be protected by all sorts of
+rituals, consecrations, or curses, which would seem to you mere raving
+superstition and silliness. But they do not seem to me one twentieth part
+so silly, from a purely rationalist point of view, as calmly making a spot
+hideous in order to keep it beautiful."
+
+The thing that is really vulgar, the thing that is really vile, is to live
+in a good place Without living by its life. Any one who settles down in a
+place without becoming part of it is (barring peculiar personal cases, of
+course) a tripper or wandering cad. For instance, the Jew is a genuine
+peculiar case. The Wandering Jew is not a wandering cad. He is a highly
+civilised man in a highly difficult position; the world being divided, and
+his own nation being divided, about whether he can do anything else except
+wander.
+
+The best example of the cultured, but common, tripper is the educated
+Englishman on the Continent. We can no longer explain the quarrel by
+calling Englishmen rude and foreigners polite. Hundreds of Englishmen are
+extremely polite, and thousands of foreigners are extremely rude. The
+truth of the matter is that foreigners do not resent the rude Englishman.
+What they do resent, what they do most justly resent, is the polite
+Englishman. He visits Italy for Botticellis or Flanders for Rembrandts,
+and he treats the great nations that made these things courteously--as he
+would treat the custodians of any museum. It does not seem to strike him
+that the Italian is not the custodian of the pictures, but the creator of
+them. He can afford to look down on such nations--when he can paint such
+pictures.
+
+That is, in matters of art and travel, the psychology of the cad. If,
+living in Italy, you admire Italian art while distrusting Italian
+character, you are a tourist, or cad. If, living in Italy, you admire
+Italian art while despising Italian religion, you are a tourist, or cad.
+It does not matter how many years you have lived there. Tourists will
+often live a long time in hotels without discovering the nationality of
+the waiters. Englishmen will often live a long time in Italy without
+discovering the nationality of the Italians. But the test is simple. If
+you admire what Italians did without admiring Italians--you are a cheap
+tripper.
+
+The same, of course, applies much nearer home. I have remarked elsewhere
+that country shopkeepers are justly offended by London people, who, coming
+among them, continue to order all their goods from London. It is caddish
+to wink and squint at the colour of a man's wine, like a wine taster; and
+then refuse to drink it. It is equally caddish to wink and squint at the
+colour of a man's orchard, like a landscape painter; and then refuse to
+buy the apples. It is always an insult to admire a thing and not use it.
+But the main point is that one has no right to see Stonehenge without
+Salisbury Plain and Salisbury: One has no right to respect the dead
+Italians without respecting the live ones. One has no right to visit a
+Christian society like a diver visiting the deep-sea fishes--fed along a
+lengthy tube by another atmosphere, and seeing the sights without
+breathing the air. It is very real bad manners.
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW THEOLOGIAN
+
+
+It is an old story that names do not fit things; it is an old story that
+the oldest forest is called the New Forest, and that Irish stew is almost
+peculiar to England. But these are traditional titles that tend, of their
+nature, to stiffen; it is the tragedy of to-day that even phrases invented
+for to-day do not fit it. The forest has remained new while it is nearly
+a thousand years old; but our fashions have grown old while they were
+still new.
+
+The extreme example of this is that when modern wrongs are attacked, they
+are almost always attacked wrongly. People seem to have a positive
+inspiration for finding the inappropriate phrase to apply to an offender;
+they are always accusing a man of theft when he has been convicted of
+murder. They must accuse Sir Edward Carson of outrageous rebellion, when
+his offence has really been a sleek submission to the powers that be.
+They must describe Mr. Lloyd George as using his eloquence to rouse the
+mob, whereas he has really shown considerable cleverness in damping it
+down. It was probably under the same impulse towards a mysterious misfit
+of names that people denounced Dr. Inge as "the Gloomy Dean."
+
+Now there is nothing whatever wrong about being a Dean; nor is there
+anything wrong about being gloomy. The only question is what dark but
+sincere motives have made you gloomy. What dark but sincere motives have
+made you a Dean. Now the address of Dr. Inge which gained him this
+erroneous title was mostly concerned with a defence of the modern
+capitalists against the modern strikers, from whose protest he appeared to
+anticipate appalling results. Now if we look at the facts about that
+gentleman's depression and also about his Deanery, we shall find a very
+curious state of things.
+
+When Dr. Inge was called "the Gloomy Dean" a great injustice was done him.
+He had appeared as the champion of our capitalist community against the
+forces of revolt; and any one who does that exceeds in optimism rather
+than pessimism. A man who really thinks that strikers have suffered no
+wrong, or that employers have done no wrong--such a man is not a Gloomy
+Dean, but a quite wildly and dangerously happy Dean. A man who can feel
+satisfied with modern industrialism must be a man with a mysterious
+fountain of high spirits. And the actual occasion is not less curious;
+because, as far as I can make out, his title to gloom reposes on his
+having said that our worker's demand high wages, while the placid people
+of the Far East will quite cheerfully work for less.
+
+This is true enough, of course, and there does not seem to be much
+difficulty about the matter. Men of the Far East will submit to very low
+wages for the same reason that they will submit to "the punishment known
+as Li, or Slicing"; for the same reason that they will praise polygamy and
+suicide; for the same reason that they subject the wife utterly to the
+husband or his parents; for the same reason that they serve their temples
+with prostitutes for priests; for the same reason that they sometimes seem
+to make no distinction between sexual passion and sexual perversion. They
+do it, that is, because they are Heathens; men with traditions different
+from ours about the limits of endurance and the gestures of self-respect.
+They may be very much better than we are in hundreds of other ways; and I
+can quite understand a man (though hardly a Dean) really preferring their
+historic virtues to those of Christendom. A man may perhaps feel more
+comfortable among his Asiatic coolies than among his European comrades:
+and as we are to allow the Broadest Thought in the Church, Dr. Inge has as
+much right to his heresy as anybody else. It is true that, as Dr. Inge
+says, there are numberless Orientals who will do a great deal of work for
+very little money; and it is most undoubtedly true that there are several
+high-placed and prosperous Europeans who like to get work done and pay as
+little as possible for it.
+
+But I cannot make out why, with his enthusiasm for heathen habits and
+traditions, the Dean should wish to spread in the East the ideas which he
+has found so dreadfully unsettling in the West. If some thousands of
+years of paganism have produced the patience and industry that Dean Inge
+admires, and if some thousand years of Christianity have produced the
+sentimentality and sensationalism which he regrets, the obvious deduction
+is that Dean Inge would be much happier if he were a heathen Chinese.
+Instead of supporting Christian missions to Korea or Japan, he ought to be
+at the head of a great mission in London for converting the English to
+Taoism or Buddhism. There his passion for the moral beauties of paganism
+would have free and natural play; his style would improve; his mind would
+begin slowly to clear; and he would be free from all sorts of little
+irritating scrupulosities which must hamper even the most Conservative
+Christian in his full praise of sweating and the sack.
+
+In Christendom he will never find rest. The perpetual public criticism
+and public change which is the note of all our history springs from a
+certain spirit far too deep to be defined. It is deeper than democracy;
+nay, it may often appear to be non-democratic; for it may often be the
+special defence of a minority or an individual. It will often leave the
+ninety-and-nine in the wilderness and go after that which is lost. It
+will often risk the State itself to right a single wrong; and do justice
+though the heavens fall. Its highest expression is not even in the
+formula of the great gentlemen of the French Revolution who said that all
+men were free and equal. Its highest expression is rather in the formula
+of the peasant who said that a man's a man for a' that. If there were but
+one slave in England, and he did all the work while the rest of us made
+merry, this spirit that is in us would still cry aloud to God night and
+day. Whether or no this spirit was produced by, it clearly works with, a
+creed which postulates a humanised God and a vividly personal immortality.
+Men must not be busy merely like a swarm, or even happy merely like a
+herd; for it is not a question of men, but of a man. A man's meals may be
+poor, but they must not be bestial; there must always be that about the
+meal which permits of its comparison to the sacrament. A man's bed may
+be hard, but it must not be abject or unclean: there must always be about
+the bed something of the decency of the death-bed.
+
+This is the spirit which makes the Christian poor begin their terrible
+murmur whenever there is a turn of prices or a deadlock of toil that
+threatens them with vagabondage or pauperisation; and we cannot encourage
+the Dean with any hope that this spirit can be cast out. Christendom will
+continue to suffer all the disadvantages of being Christian: it is the
+Dean who must be gently but firmly altered. He had absent-mindedly
+strayed into the wrong continent and the wrong creed. I advise him to
+chuck it.
+
+But the case is more curious still. To connect the Dean with Confucian
+temples or traditions may have appeared fantastic; but it is not. Dr.
+Inge is not a stupid old Tory Rector, strict both on Church and State.
+Such a man might talk nonsense about the Christian Socialists being "court
+chaplains of King Demos" or about his own superb valour in defying the
+democracy that rages in the front pews of Anglican churches. We should
+not expect a mere old-fashioned country clergyman to know that Demos has
+never been king in England and precious seldom anywhere else; we should
+not expect him to realise that if King Demos had any chaplains they would
+be uncommonly poorly paid. But Dr. Inge is not old-fashioned; he
+considers himself highly progressive and advanced. He is a New Theologian;
+that is, he is liberal in theology--and nothing else. He is apparently
+in sober fact, and not as in any fantasy, in sympathy with those who would
+soften the superior claim of our creed by urging the rival creeds of the
+East; with those who would absorb the virtues of Buddhism or of Islam. He
+holds a high seat in that modern Parliament of Religions where all
+believers respect each other's unbelief.
+
+Now this has a very sharp moral for modern religious reformers. When next
+you hear the "liberal" Christian say that we should take what is best in
+Oriental faiths, make quite sure what are the things that people like Dr.
+Inge call best; what are the things that people like Dr. Inge propose to
+take. You will not find them imitating the military valour of the Moslem.
+You will not find them imitating the miraculous ecstasy of the Hindoo.
+The more you study the "broad" movement of today, the more you will find
+that these people want something much less like Chinese metaphysics, and
+something much more like Chinese Labour. You will find the levelling of
+creeds quite unexpectedly close to the lowering of wages. Dr. Inge is
+the typical latitudinarian of to-day; and was never more so than when he
+appeared not as the apostle of the blacks, but as the apostle of the
+blacklegs. Preached, as it is, almost entirely among the prosperous and
+polite, our brotherhood with Buddhism or Mohammedanism practically means
+this--that the poor must be as meek as Buddhists, while the rich may be as
+ruthless as Mohammedans. That is what they call the reunion of all
+religions.
+
+
+
+
+THE ROMANTIC IN THE RAIN
+
+
+The middle classes of modern England are quite fanatically fond of washing;
+and are often enthusiastic for teetotalism. I cannot therefore
+comprehend why it is that they exhibit a mysterious dislike of rain.
+Rain, that inspiring and delightful thing, surely combines the qualities
+of these two ideals with quite a curious perfection. Our philanthropists
+are eager to establish public baths everywhere. Rain surely is a public
+bath; it might almost be called mixed bathing. The appearance of persons
+coming fresh from this great natural lustration is not perhaps polished or
+dignified; but for the matter of that, few people are dignified when
+coming out of a bath. But the scheme of rain in itself is one of an
+enormous purification. It realises the dream of some insane hygienist: it
+scrubs the sky. Its giant brooms and mops seem to reach the starry
+rafters and Starless corners of the cosmos; it is a cosmic spring cleaning.
+
+If the Englishman is really fond of cold baths, he ought not to grumble at
+the English climate for being a cold bath. In these days we are
+constantly told that we should leave our little special possessions and
+join in the enjoyment of common social institutions and a common social
+machinery. I offer the rain as a thoroughly Socialistic institution. It
+disregards that degraded delicacy which has hitherto led each gentleman to
+take his shower-bath in private. It is a better shower-bath, because it
+is public and communal; and, best of all, because somebody else pulls the
+string.
+
+As for the fascination of rain for the water drinker, it is a fact the
+neglect of which I simply cannot comprehend. The enthusiastic water
+drinker must regard a rainstorm as a sort of universal banquet and debauch
+of his own favourite beverage. Think of the imaginative intoxication of
+the wine drinker if the crimson clouds sent down claret or the golden
+clouds hock. Paint upon primitive darkness some such scenes of apocalypse,
+towering and gorgeous skyscapes in which champagne falls like fire from
+heaven or the dark skies grow purple and tawny with the terrible colours
+of port. All this must the wild abstainer feel, as he rolls in the long
+soaking grass, kicks his ecstatic heels to heaven, and listens to the
+roaring rain. It is he, the water drinker, who ought to be the true
+bacchanal of the forests; for all the forests are drinking water.
+Moreover, the forests are apparently enjoying it: the trees rave and reel
+to and fro like drunken giants; they clash boughs as revellers clash cups;
+they roar undying thirst and howl the health of the world.
+
+All around me as I write is a noise of Nature drinking: and Nature makes a
+noise when she is drinking, being by no means refined. If I count it
+Christian mercy to give a cup of cold water to a sufferer, shall I
+complain of these multitudinous cups of cold water handed round to all
+living things; a cup of water for every shrub; a cup of water for every
+weed? I would be ashamed to grumble at it. As Sir Philip Sidney said,
+their need is greater than mine--especially for water.
+
+There is a wild garment that still carries nobly the name of a wild
+Highland clan: a elan come from those hills where rain is not so much an
+incident as an atmosphere. Surely every man of imagination must feel a
+tempestuous flame of Celtic romance spring up within him whenever he puts
+on a mackintosh. I could never reconcile myself to carrying all umbrella;
+it is a pompous Eastern business, carried over the heads of despots in the
+dry, hot lands. Shut up, an umbrella is an unmanageable walkingstick;
+open, it is an inadequate tent. For my part, I have no taste for
+pretending to be a walking pavilion; I think nothing of my hat, and
+precious little of my head. If I am to be protected against wet, it must
+be by some closer and more careless protection, something that I can
+forget altogether. It might be a Highland plaid. It might be that yet
+more Highland thing, a mackintosh.
+
+And there is really something in the mackintosh of the military qualities
+of the Highlander. The proper cheap mackintosh has a blue and white sheen
+as of steel or iron; it gleams like armour. I like to think of it as the
+uniform of that ancient clan in some of its old and misty raids. I like
+to think of all the Macintoshes, in their mackintoshes, descending on some
+doomed Lowland village, their wet waterproofs flashing in the sun or moon.
+For indeed this is one of the real beauties of rainy weather, that while
+the amount of original and direct light is commonly lessened, the number
+of things that reflect light is unquestionably increased. There is less
+sunshine; but there are more shiny things; such beautifully shiny things
+as pools and puddles and mackintoshes. It is like moving in a world of
+mirrors.
+
+And indeed this is the last and not the least gracious of the casual works
+of magic wrought by rain: that while it decreases light, yet it doubles it.
+If it dims the sky, it brightens the earth. It gives the roads (to the
+sympathetic eye) something of the beauty of Venice. Shallow lakes of
+water reiterate every detail of earth and sky; we dwell in a double
+universe. Sometimes walking upon bare and lustrous pavements, wet under
+numerous lamps, a man seems a black blot on all that golden looking-glass,
+and could fancy he was flying in a yellow sky. But wherever trees and
+towns hang head downwards in a pigmy puddle, the sense of Celestial
+topsy-turvydom is the same. This bright, wet, dazzling confusion of shape
+and shadow, of reality and reflection, will appeal strongly to any one
+with the transcendental instinct about this dreamy and dual life of ours.
+It will always give a man the strange sense of looking down at the skies.
+
+
+
+
+THE FALSE PHOTOGRAPHER
+
+
+When, as lately, events have happened that seem (to the fancy, at least)
+to test if not stagger the force of official government, it is amusing to
+ask oneself what is the real weakness of civilisation, ours especially,
+when it contends with the one lawless man. I was reminded of one weakness
+this morning in turning over an old drawerful of pictures.
+
+This weakness in civilisation is best expressed by saying that it cares
+more for science than for truth. It prides itself on its "methods" more
+than its results; it is satisfied with precision, discipline, good
+communications, rather than with the sense of reality. But there are
+precise falsehoods as well as precise facts. Discipline may only mean a
+hundred men making the same mistake at the same minute. And good
+communications may in practice be very like those evil communications
+which are said to corrupt good manners. Broadly, we have reached a
+"scientific age," which wants to know whether the train is in the
+timetable, but not whether the train is in the station. I take one
+instance in our police inquiries that I happen to have come across: the
+case of photography.
+
+Some years ago a poet of considerable genius tragically disappeared, and
+the authorities or the newspapers circulated a photograph of him, so that
+he might be identified. The photograph, as I remember it, depicted or
+suggested a handsome, haughty, and somewhat pallid man with his head
+thrown back, with long distinguished features, colourless thin hair and
+slight moustache, and though conveyed merely by the head and shoulders, a
+definite impression of height. If I had gone by that photograph I should
+have gone about looking for a long soldierly but listless man, with a
+profile rather like the Duke of Connaught's.
+
+Only, as it happened, I knew the poet personally; I had seen him a great
+many times, and he had an appearance that nobody could possibly forget, if
+seen only once. He had the mark of those dark and passionate Westland
+Scotch, who before Burns and after have given many such dark eyes and dark
+emotions to the world. But in him the unmistakable strain, Gaelic or
+whatever it is, was accentuated almost to oddity; and he looked like some
+swarthy elf. He was small, with a big head and a crescent of coalblack
+hair round the back of a vast dome of baldness. Immediately under his
+eyes his cheekbones had so high a colour that they might have been painted
+scarlet; three black tufts, two on the upper lip and one under the lower,
+seemed to touch up the face with the fierce moustaches of Mephistopheles.
+His eyes had that "dancing madness" in them which Stevenson saw in the
+Gaelic eyes of Alan Breck; but he sometimes distorted the expression by
+screwing a monstrous monocle into one of them. A man more unmistakable
+would have been hard to find. You could have picked him out in any
+crowd--so long as you had not seen his photograph.
+
+But in this scientific picture of him twenty causes, accidental and
+conventional, had combined to obliterate him altogether. The limits of
+photography forbade the strong and almost melodramatic colouring of cheek
+and eyebrow. The accident of the lighting took nearly all the darkness
+out of the hair and made him look almost like a fair man. The framing and
+limitation of the shoulders made him look like a big man; and the
+devastating bore of being photographed when you want to write poetry made
+him look like a lazy man. Holding his head back, as people do when they
+are being photographed (or shot), but as he certainly never held it
+normally, accidentally concealed the bald dome that dominated his slight
+figure. Here we have a clockwork picture, begun and finished by a button
+and a box of chemicals, from which every projecting feature has been more
+delicately and dexterously omitted than they could have been by the most
+namby-pamby flatterer, painting in the weakest water-colours, on the
+smoothest ivory.
+
+I happen to possess a book of Mr. Max Beerbohm's caricatures, one of which
+depicts the unfortunate poet in question. To say it represents an utterly
+incredible hobgoblin is to express in faint and inadequate language the
+license of its sprawling lines. The authorities thought it strictly safe
+and scientific to circulate the poet's photograph. They would have
+clapped me in an asylum if I had asked them to circulate Max's caricature.
+But the caricature would have been far more likely to find the man.
+
+This is a small but exact symbol of the failure of scientific civilisation.
+It is so satisfied in knowing it has a photograph of a man that it never
+asks whether it has a likeness of him. Thus declarations, seemingly most
+detailed, have flashed along the wires of the world ever since I was a boy.
+We were told that in some row Boer policemen had shot an Englishman, a
+British subject, an English citizen. A long time afterwards we were quite
+casually informed that the English citizen was quite black. Well, it
+makes no difference to the moral question; black men should be shot on the
+same ethical principles as white men. But it makes one distrust
+scientific communications which permitted so startling an alteration of
+the photograph. I am sorry we got hold of a photographic negative in
+which a black man came out white. Later we were told that an Englishman
+had fought for the Boers against his own flag, which would have been a
+disgusting thing to do. Later, it was admitted that he was an Irishman;
+which is exactly as different as if he had been a Pole. Common sense,
+with all the facts before it, does see that black is not white, and that a
+nation that has never submitted has a right to moral independence. But
+why does it so seldom have all the facts before it? Why are the big
+aggressive features, such as blackness or the Celtic wrath, always left
+out in such official communications, as they were left out in the
+photograph? My friend the poet had hair as black as an African and eyes
+as fierce as an Irishman; why does our civilisation drop all four of the
+facts? Its error is to omit the arresting thing--which might really
+arrest the criminal. It strikes first the chilling note of science,
+demanding a man "above the middle height, chin shaven, with gray
+moustache," etc., which might mean Mr. Balfour or Sir Redvers Buller.
+It does not seize the first fact of impression, as that a man is
+obviously a sailor or a Jew or a drunkard or a gentleman or a nigger
+or an albino or a prize-fighter or an imbecile or an American. These
+are the realities by which the people really recognise each other.
+They are almost always left out of the inquiry.
+
+
+
+
+THE SULTAN
+
+
+There is one deep defect in our extension of cosmopolitan and Imperial
+cultures. That is, that in most human things if you spread your butter
+far you spread it thin. But there is an odder fact yet: rooted in
+something dark and irrational in human nature. That is, that when you
+find your butter thin, you begin to spread it. And it is just when you
+find your ideas wearing thin in your own mind that you begin to spread
+them among your fellow-creatures. It is a paradox; but not my paradox.
+There are numerous cases in history; but I think the strongest case is
+this. That we have Imperialism in all our clubs at the very time when we
+have Orientalism in all our drawing-rooms.
+
+I mean that the colonial ideal of such men as Cecil Rhodes did not arise
+out of any fresh creative idea of the Western genius, it was a fad, and
+like most fads an imitation. For what was wrong with Rhodes was not that,
+like Cromwell or Hildebrand, he made huge mistakes, nor even that he
+committed great crimes. It was that he committed these crimes and errors
+in order to spread certain ideas. And when one asked for the ideas they
+could not be found. Cromwell stood for Calvinism, Hildebrand for
+Catholicism: but Rhodes had no principles whatever to give to the world.
+He had only a hasty but elaborate machinery for spreading the principles
+that he hadn't got. What he called his ideals were the dregs of a
+Darwinism which had already grown not only stagnant, but poisonous. That
+the fittest must survive, and that any one like himself must be the
+fittest; that the weakest must go to the wall, and that any one he could
+not understand must be the weakest; that was the philosophy which he
+lumberingly believed through life, like many another agnostic old bachelor
+of the Victorian era. All his views on religion (reverently quoted in the
+Review of Reviews) were simply the stalest ideas of his time. It was not
+his fault, poor fellow, that he called a high hill somewhere in South
+Africa "his church." It was not his fault, I mean, that he could not see
+that a church all to oneself is not a church at all. It is a madman's
+cell. It was not his fault that he "figured out that God meant as much of
+the planet to be Anglo-Saxon as possible." Many evolutionists much wiser
+had "figured out" things even more babyish. He was an honest and humble
+recipient of the plodding popular science of his time; he spread no ideas
+that any cockney clerk in Streatham could not have spread for him. But it
+was exactly because he had no ideas to spread that he invoked slaughter,
+violated justice, and ruined republics to spread them.
+
+But the case is even stronger and stranger. Fashionable Imperialism not
+only has no ideas of its own to extend; but such ideas as it has are
+actually borrowed from the brown and black peoples to whom it seeks to
+extend them. The Crusading kings and knights might be represented as
+seeking to spread Western ideas in the East. But all that our Imperialist
+aristocrats could do would be to spread Eastern ideas in the East. For
+that very governing class which urges Occidental Imperialism has been
+deeply discoloured with Oriental mysticism and Cosmology.
+
+The same society lady who expects the Hindoos to accept her view of
+politics has herself accepted their view of religion. She wants first to
+steal their earth, and then to share their heaven. The same Imperial
+cynic who wishes the Turks to submit to English science has himself
+submitted to Turkish philosophy, to a wholly Turkish view of despotism and
+destiny.
+
+There is an obvious and amusing proof of this in a recent life of Rhodes.
+The writer admits with proper Imperial gloom the fact that Africa is
+still chiefly inhabited by Africans. He suggests Rhodes in the South
+confronting savages and Kitchener in the North facing Turks, Arabs, and
+Soudanese, and then he quotes this remark of Cecil Rhodes: "It is
+inevitable fate that all this should be changed; and I should like to be
+the agent of fate." That was Cecil Rhodes's one small genuine idea; and
+it is an Oriental idea.
+
+Here we have evident all the ultimate idiocy of the present Imperial
+position. Rhodes and Kitchener are to conquer Moslem bedouins and
+barbarians, in order to teach them to believe only in inevitable fate.
+We are to wreck provinces and pour blood like Niagara, all in order to
+teach a Turk to say "Kismet "; which he has said since his cradle. We are
+to deny Christian justice and destroy international equality, all in order
+to teach an Arab to believe he is "an agent of fate," when he has never
+believed anything else. If Cecil Rhodes's vision could come true (which
+fortunately is increasingly improbable), such countries as Persia or
+Arabia would simply be filled with ugly and vulgar fatalists in billycocks,
+instead of with graceful and dignified fatalists in turbans. The best
+Western idea, the idea of spiritual liberty and danger, of a doubtful and
+romantic future in which all things may happen--this essential Western
+idea Cecil Rhodes could not spread, because (as he says himself) he did
+not believe in it.
+
+It was an Oriental who gave to Queen Victoria the crown of an Empress in
+addition to that of a Queen. He did not understand that the title of King
+is higher than that of Emperor. For in the East titles are meant to be
+vast and wild; to be extravagant poems: the Brother of the Sun and Moon,
+the Caliph who lives for ever. But a King of England (at least in the
+days of real kings) did not bear a merely poetical title; but rather a
+religious one. He belonged to his people and not merely they to him. He
+was not merely a conqueror, but a father--yes, even when he was a bad
+father. But this sort of solid sanctity always goes with local affections
+and limits: and the Cecil Rhodes Imperialism set up not the King, but the
+Sultan; with all the typically Eastern ideas of the magic of money, of
+luxury without uproar; of prostrate provinces and a chosen race. Indeed
+Cecil Rhodes illustrated almost every quality essential to the Sultan,
+from the love of diamonds to the scorn of woman.
+
+
+
+
+THE ARCHITECT OF SPEARS
+
+
+The other day, in the town of Lincoln, I suffered an optical illusion
+which accidentally revealed to me the strange greatness of the Gothic
+architecture. Its secret is not, I think, satisfactorily explained in
+most of the discussions on the subject. It is said that the Gothic
+eclipses the classical by a certain richness and complexity, at once
+lively and mysterious. This is true; but Oriental decoration is equally
+rich and complex, yet it awakens a widely different sentiment. No man
+ever got out of a Turkey carpet the emotions that he got from a cathedral
+tower. Over all the exquisite ornament of Arabia and India there is the
+presence of something stiff and heartless, of something tortured and
+silent. Dwarfed trees and crooked serpents, heavy flowers and hunchbacked
+birds accentuate by the very splendour and contrast of their colour the
+servility and monotony of their shapes. It is like the vision of a
+sneering sage, who sees the whole universe as a pattern. Certainly no one
+ever felt like this about Gothic, even if he happens to dislike it. Or,
+again, some will say that it is the liberty of the Middle Ages in the use
+of the comic or even the coarse that makes the Gothic more interesting
+than the Greek. There is more truth in this; indeed, there is real truth
+in it. Few of the old Christian cathedrals would have passed the Censor
+of Plays. We talk of the inimitable grandeur of the old cathedrals; but
+indeed it is rather their gaiety that we do not dare to imitate. We
+should be rather surprised if a chorister suddenly began singing "Bill
+Bailey" in church. Yet that would be only doing in music what the
+mediaevals did in sculpture. They put into a Miserere seat the very
+scenes that we put into a music hall song: comic domestic scenes similar to
+the spilling of the beer and the hanging out of the washing. But though
+the gaiety of Gothic is one of its features, it also is not the secret of
+its unique effect. We see a domestic topsy-turvydom in many Japanese
+sketches. But delightful as these are, with their fairy tree-tops, paper
+houses, and toddling, infantile inhabitants, the pleasure they give is of
+a kind quite different from the joy and energy of the gargoyles. Some
+have even been so shallow and illiterate as to maintain that our pleasure
+in medieval building is a mere pleasure in what is barbaric, in what is
+rough, shapeless, or crumbling like the rocks. This can be dismissed
+after the same fashion; South Sea idols, with painted eyes and radiating
+bristles, are a delight to the eye; but they do not affect it in at all
+the same way as Westminster Abbey. Some again (going to another and
+almost equally foolish extreme) ignore the coarse and comic in
+mediaevalism; and praise the pointed arch only for its utter purity and
+simplicity, as of a saint with his hands joined in prayer. Here, again,
+the uniqueness is missed. There are Renaissance things (such as the
+ethereal silvery drawings of Raphael), there are even pagan things (such
+as the Praying Boy) which express as fresh and austere a piety. None of
+these explanations explain. And I never saw what was the real point about
+Gothic till I came into the town of Lincoln, and saw it behind a row of
+furniture-vans.
+
+I did not know they were furniture-vans; at the first glance and in the
+smoky distance I thought they were a row of cottages. A low stone wall
+cut off the wheels, and the vans were somewhat of the same colour as the
+yellowish clay or stone of the buildings around them. I had come across
+that interminable Eastern plain which is like the open sea, and all the
+more so because the one small hill and tower of Lincoln stands up in it
+like a light-house. I had climbed the sharp, crooked streets up to this
+ecclesiastical citadel; just in front of me was a flourishing and richly
+coloured kitchen garden; beyond that was the low stone wall; beyond that
+the row of vans that looked like houses; and beyond and above that,
+straight and swift and dark, light as a flight of birds, and terrible as
+the Tower of Babel, Lincoln Cathedral seemed to rise out of human sight.
+
+As I looked at it I asked myself the questions that I have asked here;
+what was the soul in all those stones? They were varied, but it was not
+variety; they were solemn, but it was not solemnity; they were farcical,
+but it was not farce. What is it in them that thrills and soothes a man
+of our blood and history, that is not there in an Egyptian pyramid or an
+Indian temple or a Chinese pagoda? All of a sudden the vans I had
+mistaken for cottages began to move away to the left. In the start this
+gave to my eye and mind I really fancied that the Cathedral was moving
+towards the right. The two huge towers seemed to start striding across
+the plain like the two legs of some giant whose body was covered with the
+clouds. Then I saw what it was.
+
+The truth about Gothic is, first, that it is alive, and second, that it is
+on the march. It is the Church Militant; it is the only fighting
+architecture. All its spires are spears at rest; and all its stones are
+stones asleep in a catapult. In that instant of illusion, I could hear the
+arches clash like swords as they crossed each other. The mighty and
+numberless columns seemed to go swinging by like the huge feet of imperial
+elephants. The graven foliage wreathed and blew like banners going into
+battle; the silence was deafening with ail the mingled noises of a
+military march; the great bell shook down, as the organ shook up its
+thunder. The thirsty-throated gargoyles shouted like trumpets from all
+the roofs and pinnacles as they passed; and from the lectern in the core
+of the cathedral the eagle of the awful evangelist clashed his wings of
+brass,
+
+And amid all the noises I seemed to hear the voice of a man shouting in
+the midst like one ordering regiments hither and thither in the fight; the
+voice of the great half-military master-builder; the architect of spears.
+I could almost fancy he wore armour while he made that church; and I knew
+indeed that, under a scriptural figure, he had borne in either hand the
+trowel and the sword.
+
+I could imagine for the moment that the whole of that house of life had
+marched out of the sacred East, alive and interlocked, like an army.
+Some Eastern nomad had found it solid and silent in the red circle of the
+desert. He had slept by it as by a world-forgotten pyramid; and been woke
+at midnight by the wings of stone and brass, the tramping of the tall
+pillars, the trumpets of the waterspouts. On such a night every snake or
+sea-beast must have turned and twisted in every crypt or corner of the
+architecture. And the fiercely coloured saints marching eternally in the
+flamboyant windows would have carried their glorioles like torches across
+dark lands and distant seas; till the whole mountain of music and darkness
+and lights descended roaring on the lonely Lincoln hill. So for some
+hundred and sixty seconds I saw the battle-beauty of the Gothic; then the
+last furniture-van shifted itself away; and I saw only a church tower in a
+quiet English town, round which the English birds were floating.
+
+
+
+
+THE MAN ON TOP
+
+
+There is a fact at the root of all realities to-day which cannot be stated
+too simply. It is that the powers of this world are now not trusted
+simply because they are not trustworthy. This can be quite clearly seen
+and said without any reference to our several passions or partisanships.
+It does not follow that we think such a distrust a wise sentiment to
+express; it does not even follow that we think it a good sentiment to
+entertain. But such is the sentiment, simply because such is the fact.
+The distinction can be quite easily defined in an example. I do not
+think that private workers owe an indefinite loyalty to their employer.
+But I do think that patriotic soldiers owe a more or less indefinite
+loyalty to their leader in battle. But even if they ought to trust their
+captain, the fact remains that they often do not trust him; and the fact
+remains that he often is not fit to be trusted.
+
+Most of the employers and many of the Socialists seem to have got a very
+muddled ethic about the basis of such loyalty; and perpetually try to put
+employers and officers upon the same disciplinary plane. I should have
+thought myself that the difference was alphabetical enough. It has
+nothing to do with the idealising of war or the materialising of trade; it
+is a distinction in the primary purpose. There might be much more
+elegance and poetry in a shop under William Morris than in a regiment
+under Lord Kitchener. But the difference is not in the persons or the
+atmosphere, but in the aim. The British Army does not exist in order to
+pay Lord Kitchener. William Morris's shop, however artistic and
+philanthropic, did exist to pay William Morris. If it did not pay the
+shopkeeper it failed as a shop; but Lord Kitchener does not fail if he is
+underpaid, but only if he is defeated. The object of the Army is the
+safety of the nation from one particular class of perils; therefore, since
+all citizens owe loyalty to the nation, all citizens who are soldiers owe
+loyalty to the Army. But nobody has any obligation to make some
+particular rich man richer. A man is bound, of course, to consider the
+indirect results of his action in a strike; but he is bound to consider
+that in a swing, or a giddy-go-round, or a smoking concert; in his wildest
+holiday or his most private conversation. But direct responsibility like
+that of a soldier he has none. He need not aim solely and directly at the
+good of the shop; for the simple reason that the shop is not aiming solely
+and directly at the good of the nation. The shopman is, under decent
+restraints, let us hope, trying to get what he can out of the nation; the
+shop assistant may, under the same decent restraints, get what he can out
+of the shopkeeper. All this distinction is very obvious. At least I
+should have thought so.
+
+But the primary point which I mean is this. That even if we do take the
+military view of mercantile service, even if we do call the rebellious
+shop assistant "disloyal"--that leaves exactly where it was the question
+of whether he is, in point of fact, in a good or bad shop. Granted that
+all Mr. Poole's employees are bound to follow for ever the cloven pennon
+of the Perfect Pair of Trousers, it is all the more true that the pennon
+may, in point of fact, become imperfect. Granted that all Barney Barnato's
+workers ought to have followed him to death or glory, it is still a
+Perfectly legitimate question to ask which he was likely to lead them to.
+Granted that Dr. Sawyer's boy ought to die for his master's medicines, we
+may still hold an inquest to find out if he died of them. While we
+forbid the soldier to shoot the general, we may still wish the general
+were shot.
+
+The fundamental fact of our time is the failure of the successful man.
+Somehow we have so arranged the rules of the game that the winners are
+worthless for other purposes; they can secure nothing except the prize.
+The very rich are neither aristocrats nor self-made men; they are
+accidents--or rather calamities. All revolutionary language is a
+generation behind the times in talking of their futility. A revolutionist
+would say (with perfect truth) that coal-owners know next to nothing about
+coal-mining. But we are past that point. Coal-owners know next to
+nothing about coal-owning. They do not develop and defend the nature of
+their own monopoly with any consistent and courageous policy, however
+wicked, as did the old aristocrats with the monopoly of land. They have
+not the virtues nor even the vices of tyrants; they have only their powers.
+It is the same with all the powerful of to-day; it is the same, for
+instance, with the high-placed and high-paid official. Not only is the
+judge not judicial, but the arbiter is not even arbitrary. The arbiter
+decides, not by some gust of justice or injustice in his soul like the old
+despot dooming men under a tree, but by the permanent climate of the class
+to which he happens to belong. The ancient wig of the judge is often
+indistinguishable from the old wig of the flunkey.
+
+To judge about success or failure one must see things very simply; one
+must see them in masses, as the artist, half closing his eyes against
+details, sees light and shade. That is the only way in which a just
+judgment can be formed as to whether any departure or development, such as
+Islam or the American Republic, has been a benefit upon the whole. Seen
+close, such great erections always abound in ingenious detail and
+impressive solidity; it is only by seeing them afar off that one can tell
+if the Tower leans.
+
+Now if we thus take in the whole tilt or posture of our modern state, we
+shall simply see this fact: that those classes who have on the whole
+governed, have on the whole failed. If you go to a factory you will see
+some very wonderful wheels going round; you will be told that the employer
+often comes there early in the morning; that he has great organising power;
+that if he works over the colossal accumulation of wealth he also works
+over its wise distribution. All this may be true of many employers, and
+it is practically said of all.
+
+But if we shade our eyes from all this dazzle of detail; if we simply ask
+what has been the main feature, the upshot, the final fruit of the
+capitalist system, there is no doubt about the answer. The special and
+solid result of the reign of the employers has been--unemployment.
+Unemployment not only increasing, but becoming at last the very pivot upon
+which the whole process turns.
+
+Or, again, if you visit the villages that depend on one of the great
+squires, you will hear praises, often just, of the landlord's good sense
+or good nature; you will hear of whole systems of pensions or of care for
+the sick, like those of a small and separate nation; you will see much
+cleanliness, order, and business habits in the offices and accounts of the
+estate. But if you ask again what has been the upshot, what has been the
+actual result of the reign of landlords, again the answer is plain. At
+the end of the reign of landlords men will not live on the land. The
+practical effect of having landlords is not having tenants. The practical
+effect of having employers is that men are not employed. The unrest of
+the populace is therefore more than a murmur against tyranny; it is
+against a sort of treason. It is the suspicion that even at the top of
+the tree, even in the seats of the mighty, our very success is
+unsuccessful.
+
+
+
+
+THE OTHER KIND OF MAN
+
+
+There are some who are conciliated by Conciliation Boards. There are some
+who, when they hear of Royal Commissions, breathe again--or snore again.
+There are those who look forward to Compulsory Arbitration Courts as to
+the islands of the blest. These men do not understand the day that they
+look upon or the sights that their eyes have seen.
+
+The almost sacramental idea of representation, by which the few may
+incarnate the many, arose in the Middle Ages, and has done great things
+for justice and liberty. It has had its real hours of triumph, as when
+the States General met to renew France's youth like the eagle's; or when
+all the virtues of the Republic fought and ruled in the figure of
+Washington. It is not having one of its hours of triumph now. The real
+democratic unrest at this moment is not an extension of the representative
+process, but rather a revolt against it. It is no good giving those now
+in revolt more boards and committees and compulsory regulations. It is
+against these very things that they are revolting. Men are not only
+rising against their oppressors, but against their representatives or, as
+they would say, their misrepresentatives. The inner and actual spirit of
+workaday England is coming out not in applause, but in anger, as a god who
+should come out of his tabernacle to rebuke and confound his priests.
+
+There is a certain kind of man whom we see many times in a day, but whom
+we do not, in general, bother very much about. He is the kind of man of
+whom his wife says that a better husband when he's sober you couldn't have.
+She sometimes adds that he never is sober; but this is in anger and
+exaggeration. Really he drinks much less and works much more than the
+modern legend supposes. But it is quite true that he has not the horror
+of bodily outbreak, natural to the classes that contain ladies; and it is
+quite true that he never has that alert and inventive sort of industry
+natural to the classes from which men can climb into great wealth. He has
+grown, partly by necessity, but partly also by temper, accustomed to have
+dirty clothes and dirty hands normally and without discomfort. He regards
+cleanliness as a kind of separate and special costume; to be put on for
+great festivals. He has several really curious characteristics, which
+would attract the eyes of sociologists, if they had any eyes. For
+instance, his vocabulary is coarse and abusive, in marked contrast to his
+actual spirit, which is generally patient and civil. He has an odd way of
+using certain words of really horrible meaning, but using them quite
+innocently and without the most distant taint of the evils to which they
+allude. He is rather sentimental; and, like most sentimental people, not
+devoid of snobbishness. At the same time, he believes the ordinary manly
+commonplaces of freedom and fraternity as he believes most of the decent
+traditions of Christian men: he finds it very difficult to act according
+to them, but this difficulty is not confined to him. He has a strong and
+individual sense of humour, and not much power of corporate or militant
+action. He is not a Socialist. Finally, he bears no more resemblance to
+a Labour Member than he does to a City Alderman or a Die-Hard Duke. This
+is the Common Labourer of England; and it is he who is on the march at
+last.
+
+See this man in your mind as you see him in the street, realise that it is
+his open mind we wish to influence or his empty stomach we wish to cure,
+and then consider seriously (if you can) the five men, including two of
+his own alleged oppressors, who were summoned as a Royal Commission to
+consider his claims when he or his sort went out on strike upon the
+railways. I knew nothing against, indeed I knew nothing about, any of the
+gentlemen then summoned, beyond a bare introduction to Mr. Henderson,
+whom I liked, but whose identity I was in no danger of confusing with that
+of a railway-porter. I do not think that any old gentleman, however
+absent-minded, would be likely on arriving at Euston, let us say, to hand
+his Gladstone-bag to Mr. Henderson or to attempt to reward that politician
+with twopence. Of the others I can only judge by the facts about their
+status as set forth in the public Press. The Chairman, Sir David Harrell,
+appeared to be an ex-official distinguished in (of all things in the
+world) the Irish Constabulary. I have no earthly reason to doubt that the
+Chairman meant to be fair; but I am not talking about what men mean to be,
+but about what they are. The police in Ireland are practically an army of
+occupation; a man serving in them or directing them is practically a
+soldier; and, of course, he must do his duty as such. But it seems truly
+extraordinary to select as one likely to sympathise with the democracy of
+England a man whose whole business in life it has been to govern against
+its will the democracy of Ireland. What should we say if Russian strikers
+were offered the sympathetic arbitration of the head of the Russian Police
+in Finland or Poland? And if we do not know that the whole civilised
+world sees Ireland with Poland as a typical oppressed nation, it is time
+we did. The Chairman, whatever his personal virtues, must be by instinct
+and habit akin to the capitalists in the dispute. Two more of the
+Commissioners actually were the capitalists in the dispute. Then came Mr.
+Henderson (pushing his trolley and cheerily crying, "By your leave."),
+and then another less known gentleman who had "corresponded" with the
+Board of Trade, and had thus gained some strange claim to represent the
+very poor.
+
+Now people like this might quite possibly produce a rational enough report,
+and in this or that respect even improve things. Men of that kind are
+tolerably kind, tolerably patriotic, and tolerably business-like. But if
+any one supposes that men of that kind can conceivably quiet any real
+'quarrel with the Man of the Other Kind, the man whom I first described,
+it is frantic. The common worker is angry exactly because he has found
+out that all these boards consist of the same well-dressed Kind of Man,
+whether they are called Governmental or Capitalist. If any one hopes that
+he will reconcile the poor, I say, as I said at the beginning, that such a
+one has not looked on the light of day or dwelt in the land of the living.
+
+But I do not criticise such a Commission except for one most practical and
+urgent purpose. It will be answered to me that the first Kind of Man of
+whom I spoke could not really be on boards and committees, as modern
+England is managed. His dirt, though necessary and honourable, would be
+offensive: his speech, though rich and figurative, would be almost
+incomprehensible. Let us grant, for the moment, that this is so. This
+Kind of Man, with his sooty hair or sanguinary adjectives, cannot be
+represented at our committees of arbitration. Therefore, the other Kind
+of Man, fairly prosperous, fairly plausible, at home at least with the
+middle class, capable at least of reaching and touching the upper class,
+he must remain the only Kind of Man for such councils.
+
+Very well. If then, you give at any future time any kind of compulsory
+powers to such councils to prevent strikes, you will be driving the first
+Kind of Man to work for a particular master as much as if you drove him
+with a whip.
+
+
+
+
+THE MEDIAEVAL VILLAIN
+
+
+I see that there have been more attempts at the whitewashing of King John.
+
+But the gentleman who wrote has a further interest in the matter; for he
+believes that King John was innocent, not only on this point, but as a
+whole. He thinks King John has been very badly treated; though I am not
+sure whether he would attribute to that Plantagenet a saintly merit or
+merely a humdrum respectability.
+
+I sympathise with the whitewashing of King John, merely because it is a
+protest against our waxwork style of history. Everybody is in a
+particular attitude, with particular moral attributes; Rufus is always
+hunting and Coeur-de-Lion always crusading; Henry VIII always marrying,
+and Charles I always having his head cut off; Alfred rapidly and in
+rotation making his people's clocks and spoiling their cakes; and King
+John pulling out Jews' teeth with the celerity and industry of an American
+dentist. Anything is good that shakes all this stiff simplification, and
+makes us remember that these men were once alive; that is, mixed, free,
+flippant, and inconsistent. It gives the mind a healthy kick to know that
+Alfred had fits, that Charles I prevented enclosures, that Rufus was
+really interested in architecture, that Henry VIII was really interested
+in theology.
+
+And as these scraps of reality can startle us into more solid imagination
+of events, so can even errors and exaggerations if they are on the right
+side. It does some good to call Alfred a prig, Charles I a Puritan, and
+John a jolly good fellow; if this makes us feel that they were people whom
+we might have liked or disliked. I do not myself think that John was a
+nice gentleman; but for all that the popular picture of him is all wrong.
+Whether he had any generous qualities or not, he had what commonly makes
+them possible, dare-devil courage, for instance, and hotheaded decision.
+But, above all, he had a morality which he broke, but which we
+misunderstand.
+
+The mediaeval mind turned centrally upon the pivot of Free Will. In their
+social system the mediaevals were too much PARTI-PER-PALE, as their
+heralds would say, too rigidly cut up by fences and quarterings of guild
+or degree. But in their moral philosophy they always thought of man as
+standing free and doubtful at the cross-roads in a forest. While they
+clad and bound the body and (to some extent) the mind too stiffly and
+quaintly for our taste, they had a much stronger sense than we have of the
+freedom of the soul. For them the soul always hung poised like an eagle
+in the heavens of liberty. Many of the things that strike a modern as
+most fantastic came from their keen sense of the power of choice.
+
+For instance, the greatest of the Schoolmen devotes folios to the minute
+description of what the world would have been like if Adam had refused the
+apple; what kings, laws, babies, animals, planets would have been in an
+unfallen world. So intensely does he feel that Adam might have decided
+the other way that he sees a complete and complex vision of another world,
+a world that now can never be.
+
+This sense of the stream of life in a man that may turn either way can be
+felt through all their popular ethics in legend, chronicle, and ballad.
+It is a feeling which has been weakened among us by two heavy intellectual
+forces. The Calvinism of the seventeenth century and the physical science
+of the nineteenth, whatever other truths they may have taught, have
+darkened this liberty with a sense of doom. We think of bad men as
+something like black men, a separate and incurable kind of people. The
+Byronic spirit was really a sort of operatic Calvinism. It brought the
+villain upon the stage; the lost soul; the modern version of King John.
+But the contemporaries of King John did not feel like that about him, even
+when they detested him. They instinctively felt him to be a man of mixed
+passions like themselves, who was allowing his evil passions to have much
+too good a time of it. They might have spoken of him as a man in
+considerable danger of going to hell; but they would have not talked of
+him as if he had come from there. In the ballads of Percy or Robin Hood
+it frequently happens that the King comes upon the scene, and his ultimate
+decision makes the climax of the tale. But we do not feel, as we do in
+the Byronic or modern romance, that there is a definite stage direction
+"Enter Tyrant." Nor do we behold a deus ex machina who is certain to do
+all that is mild and just. The King in the ballad is in a state of virile
+indecision. Sometimes he will pass from a towering passion to the most
+sweeping magnanimity and friendliness; sometimes he will begin an act of
+vengeance and be turned from it by a jest. Yet this august levity is not
+moral indifference; it is moral freedom. It is the strong sense in the
+writer that the King, being the type of man with power, will probably
+sometimes use it badly and sometimes well. In this sense John is
+certainly misrepresented, for he is pictured as something that none of his
+own friends or enemies saw. In that sense he was certainly not so black
+as he is painted, for he lived in a world where every one was piebald.
+
+King John would be represented in a modern play or novel as a kind of
+degenerate; a shifty-eyed moral maniac with a twist in his soul's backbone
+and green blood in his veins. The mediaevals were quite capable of
+boiling him in melted lead, but they would have been quite incapable of
+despairing of his soul in the modern fashion. A striking a fortiori case
+is that of the strange mediaeval legend of Robert the Devil. Robert was
+represented as a monstrous birth sent to an embittered woman actually in
+answer to prayers to Satan, and his earlier actions are simply those of
+the infernal fire let loose upon earth. Yet though he can be called
+almost literally a child of hell, yet the climax of the story is his
+repentance at Rome and his great reparation. That is the paradox of
+mediaeval morals: as it must appear to the moderns. We must try to
+conceive a race of men who hated John, and sought his blood, and believed
+every abomination about him, who would have been quite capable of
+assassinating or torturing him in the extremity of their anger. And yet
+we must admit that they would not really have been fundamentally surprised
+if he had shaved his head in humiliation, given all his goods to the poor,
+embraced the lepers in a lazar-house, and been canonised as a saint in
+heaven. So strongly did they hold that the pivot of Will should turn
+freely, which now is rusted, and sticks.
+
+For we, whatever our political opinions, certainly never think of our
+public men like that. If we hold the opinion that Mr. Lloyd George is a
+noble tribune of the populace and protector of the poor, we do not admit
+that he can ever have paltered with the truth or bargained with the
+powerful. If we hold the equally idiotic opinion that he is a red and
+rabid Socialist, maddening mobs into mutiny and theft, then we expect him
+to go on maddening them--and us. We do not expect him, let us say,
+suddenly to go into a monastery. We have lost the idea of repentance;
+especially in public things; that is why we cannot really get rid of our
+great national abuses of economic tyranny and aristocratic avarice.
+Progress in the modern sense is a very dismal drudge; and mostly consists
+of being moved on by the police. We move on because we are not allowed to
+move back. But the really ragged prophets, the real revolutionists who
+held high language in the palaces of kings, they did not confine
+themselves to saying, "Onward, Christian soldiers," still less, "Onward,
+Futurist soldiers"; what they said to high emperors and to whole empires
+was, "Turn ye, turn ye, why will ye die?"
+
+
+
+
+THE DIVINE DETECTIVE
+
+
+Every person of sound education enjoys detective stories, and there are
+even several points on which they have a hearty superiority to most modern
+books. A detective story generally describes six living men discussing
+how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally
+describes six dead men discussing how any man can possibly be alive. But
+those who have enjoyed the roman policier must have noted one thing, that
+when the murderer is caught he is hardly ever hanged. "That," says
+Sherlock Holmes, "is the advantage of being a private detective"; after he
+has caught he can set free. The Christian Church can best be defined as
+an enormous private detective, correcting that official detective--the
+State. This, indeed, is one of the injustices done to historic
+Christianity; injustices which arise from looking at complex exceptions
+and not at the large and simple fact. We are constantly being told that
+theologians used racks and thumbscrews, and so they did. Theologians
+used racks and thumbscrews just as they used thimbles and three-legged
+stools, because everybody else used them. Christianity no more created
+the mediaeval tortures than it did the Chinese tortures; it inherited them
+from any empire as heathen as the Chinese.
+
+The Church did, in an evil hour, consent to imitate the commonwealth and
+employ cruelty. But if we open our eyes and take in the whole picture, if
+we look at the general shape and colour of the thing, the real difference
+between the Church and the State is huge and plain. The State, in all
+lands and ages, has created a machinery of punishment, more bloody and
+brutal in some places than others, but bloody and brutal everywhere. The
+Church is the only institution that ever attempted to create a machinery
+of pardon. The Church is the only thing that ever attempted by system to
+pursue and discover crimes, not in order to avenge, but in order to
+forgive them. The stake and rack were merely the weaknesses of the
+religion; its snobberies, its surrenders to the world. Its
+speciality--or, if you like, its oddity--was this merciless mercy; the
+unrelenting sleuthhound who seeks to save and not slay.
+
+I can best illustrate what I mean by referring to two popular plays on
+somewhat parallel topics, which have been successful here and in America.
+The Passing of the Third Floor Back is a humane and reverent experiment,
+dealing with the influence of one unknown but divine figure as he passes
+through a group of Squalid characters. I have no desire to make cheap fun
+of the extremely abrupt conversions of all these people; that is a point
+of art, not of morals; and, after all, many conversions have been abrupt.
+This saviour's method of making people good is to tell them how good they
+are already; and in the case of suicidal outcasts, whose moral backs are
+broken, and who are soaked with sincere self-contempt, I can imagine that
+this might be quite the right way. I should not deliver this message to
+authors or members of Parliament, because they would so heartily agree
+with it.
+
+Still, it is not altogether here that I differ from the moral of Mr.
+Jerome's play. I differ vitally from his story because it is not a
+detective story. There is in it none of this great Christian idea of
+tearing their evil out of men; it lacks the realism of the saints.
+Redemption should bring truth as well as peace; and truth is a fine thing,
+though the materialists did go mad about it. Things must be faced, even
+in order to be forgiven; the great objection to "letting sleeping dogs
+lie" is that they lie in more senses than one. But in Mr. Jerome's
+Passing of the Third Floor Back the redeemer is not a divine detective,
+pitiless in his resolve to know and pardon. Rather he is a sort of divine
+dupe, who does not pardon at all, because he does not see anything that is
+going on. It may, or may not, be true to say, "Tout comprendre est tout
+pardonner." But it is much more evidently true to say, "Rien comprendre
+est rien Pardonner," and the "Third Floor Back" does not seem to
+comprehend anything. He might, after all, be a quite selfish
+sentimentalist, who found it comforting to think well of his neighbours.
+There is nothing very heroic in loving after you have been deceived. The
+heroic business is to love after you have been undeceived.
+
+When I saw this play it was natural to compare it with another play which
+I had not seen, but which I have read in its printed version. I mean Mr.
+Rann Kennedy's Servant in the House, the success of which sprawls over so
+many of the American newspapers. This also is concerned with a dim, yet
+evidently divine, figure changing the destinies of a whole group of
+persons. It is a better play structurally than the other; in fact, it is
+a very fine play indeed; but there is nothing aesthetic or fastidious
+about it. It is as much or more than the other sensational, democratic,
+and (I use the word in a sound and good sense) Salvationist.
+
+But the difference lies precisely in this--that the Christ of Mr.
+Kennedy's play insists on really knowing all the souls that he loves; he
+declines to conquer by a kind of supernatural stupidity. He pardons evil,
+but he will not ignore it. In other words, he is a Christian, and not a
+Christian Scientist. The distinction doubtless is partly explained by the
+problems severally selected. Mr. Jerome practically supposes Christ to be
+trying to save disreputable people; and that, of course, is naturally a
+simple business. Mr. Kennedy supposes Him to be trying to save the
+reputable people, which is a much larger affair. The chief characters in
+The Servant in the House are a popular and strenuous vicar, universally
+respected, and his fashionable and forcible wife. It would have been no
+good to tell these people they had some good in them--for that was what
+they were telling themselves all day long. They had to be reminded that
+they had some bad in them--instinctive idolatries and silent treasons
+which they always tried to forget. It is in connection with these crimes
+of wealth and culture that we face the real problem of positive evil. The
+whole of Mr. Blatchford's controversy about sin was vitiated throughout by
+one's consciousness that whenever he wrote the word "sinner" he thought of
+a man in rags. But here, again, we can find truth merely by referring to
+vulgar literature--its unfailing fountain. Whoever read a detective
+story about poor people? The poor have crimes; but the poor have no
+secrets. And it is because the proud have secrets that they need to be
+detected before they are forgiven.
+
+
+
+
+THE ELF OF JAPAN
+
+
+There are things in this world of which I can say seriously that I love
+them but I do not like them. The point is not merely verbal, but
+psychologically quite valid. Cats are the first things that occur to me
+as examples of the principle. Cats are so beautiful that a creature from
+another star might fall in love with them, and so incalculable that he
+might kill them. Some of my friends take quite a high moral line about
+cats. Some, like Mr. Titterton, I think, admire a cat for its moral
+independence and readiness to scratch anybody "if he does not behave
+himself." Others, like Mr. Belloe, regard the cat as cruel and secret, a
+fit friend for witches; one who will devour everything, except, indeed,
+poisoned food, "so utterly lacking is it in Christian simplicity and
+humility." For my part, I have neither of these feelings. I admire cats
+as I admire catkins; those little fluffy things that hang on trees. They
+are both pretty and both furry, and both declare the glory of God. And
+this abstract exultation in all living things is truly to be called Love;
+for it is a higher feeling than mere affectional convenience; it is a
+vision. It is heroic, and even saintly, in this: that it asks for nothing
+in return. I love all the eats in the street as St. Francis of Assisi
+loved all the birds in the wood or all the fishes in the sea; not so much,
+of course, but then I am not a saint. But he did not wish to bridle a
+bird and ride on its back, as one bridles and rides on a horse. He did
+not wish to put a collar round a fish's neck, marked with the name
+"Francis," and the address "Assisi"--as one does with a dog. He did not
+wish them to belong to him or himself to belong to them; in fact, it would
+be a very awkward experience to belong to a lot of fishes. But a man does
+belong to his dog, in another but an equally real sense with that in which
+the dog belongs to him. The two bonds of obedience and responsibility
+vary very much with the dogs and the men; but they are both bonds. In
+other words, a man does not merely love a dog; as he might (in a mystical
+moment) love any sparrow that perched on his windowsill or any rabbit that
+ran across his path. A man likes a dog; and that is a serious matter.
+
+To me, unfortunately perhaps (for I speak merely of individual taste), a
+cat is a wild animal. A cat is Nature personified. Like Nature, it is so
+mysterious that one cannot quite repose even in its beauty. But like
+Nature again, it is so beautiful that one cannot believe that it is really
+cruel. Perhaps it isn't; and there again it is like Nature. Men of old
+time worshipped cats as they worshipped crocodiles; and those magnificent
+old mystics knew what they were about. The moment in which one really
+loves cats is the same as that in which one (moderately and within reason)
+loves crocodiles. It is that divine instant when a man feels himself--no,
+not absorbed into the unity of all things (a loathsome fancy)--but
+delighting in the difference of all things. At the moment when a man
+really knows he is a man he will feel, however faintly, a kind of
+fairy-tale pleasure in the fact that a crocodile is a crocodile. All the
+more will he exult in the things that are more evidently beautiful than
+crocodiles, such as flowers and birds and eats--which are more beautiful
+than either. But it does not follow that he will wish to pick all the
+flowers or to cage all the birds or to own all the cats.
+
+No one who still believes in democracy and the rights of man will admit
+that any division between men and men can be anything but a fanciful
+analogy to the division between men and animals. But in the sphere of
+such fanciful analogy there are even human beings whom I feel to be like
+eats in this respect: that I can love them without liking them. I feel it
+about certain quaint and alien societies, especially about the Japanese.
+The exquisite old Japanese draughtsmanship (of which we shall see no more,
+now Japan has gone in for Progress and Imperialism) had a quality that was
+infinitely attractive and intangible. Japanese pictures were really
+rather like pictures made by cats. They were full of feathery softness
+and of sudden and spirited scratches. If any one will wander in some
+gallery fortunate enough to have a fine collection of those slight
+water-colour sketches on rice paper which come from the remote East, he
+will observe many elements in them which a fanciful person might consider
+feline. There is, for instance, that odd enjoyment of the tops of trees;
+those airy traceries of forks and fading twigs, up to which certainly no
+artist, but only a cat could climb. There is that elvish love of the full
+moon, as large and lucid as a Chinese lantern, hung in these tenuous
+branches. That moon is so large and luminous that one can imagine a
+hundred cats howling under it. Then there is the exhaustive treatment of
+the anatomy of birds and fish; subjects in which cats are said to be
+interested. Then there is the slanting cat-like eye of all these Eastern
+gods and men--but this is getting altogether too coincident. We shall
+have another racial theory in no time (beginning "Are the Japs Cats?"),
+and though I shall not believe in my theory, somebody else might. There
+are people among my esteemed correspondents who might believe anything.
+It is enough for me to say here that in this small respect Japs affect me
+like cats. I mean that I love them. I love their quaint and native
+poetry, their instinct of easy civilisation, their unique unreplaceable
+art, the testimony they bear to the bustling, irrepressible activities of
+nature and man. If I were a real mystic looking down on them from a real
+mountain, I am sure I should love them more even than the strong winged and
+unwearied birds or the fruitful, ever multiplying fish. But, as for liking
+them, as one likes a dog--that is quite another matter. That would mean
+trusting them.
+
+In the old English and Scotch ballads the fairies are regarded very much
+in the way that I feel inclined to regard Japs and cats. They are not
+specially spoken of as evil; they are enjoyed as witching and wonderful;
+but they are not trusted as good. You do not say the wrong words or give
+the wrong gifts to them; and there is a curious silence about what would
+happen to you if you did. Now to me, Japan, the Japan of Art, was always
+a fairyland. What trees as gay as flowers and peaks as white as wedding
+cakes; what lanterns as large as houses and houses as frail as lanterns!
+but... but... the missionary explained (I read in the paper) that the
+assertion and denial about the Japanese use of torture was a mere matter
+of verbal translation. "The Japanese would not call twisting the thumbs
+back 'torture.'"
+
+
+
+
+THE CHARTERED LIBERTINE
+
+
+I find myself in agreement with Mr. Robert Lynd for his most just remark
+in connection with the Malatesta case, that the police are becoming a
+peril to society. I have no attraction to that sort of atheist asceticism
+to which the purer types of Anarchism tend; but both an atheist and an
+ascetic are better men than a spy; and it is ignominious to see one's
+country thus losing her special point of honour about asylum and liberty.
+It will be quite a new departure if we begin to protect and whitewash
+foreign policemen. I always understood it was only English policemen who
+were absolutely spotless. A good many of us, however, have begun to feel
+with Mr. Lynd, and on all sides authorities and officials are being
+questioned. But there is one most graphic and extraordinary fact, which
+it did not lie in Mr. Lynd's way to touch upon, but which somebody really
+must seize and emphasise. It is this: that at the very time when we are
+all beginning to doubt these authorities, we are letting laws pass to
+increase their most capricious powers. All our commissions, petitions,
+and letters to the papers are asking whether these authorities can give an
+account of their stewardship. And at the same moment all our laws are
+decreeing that they shall not give any account of their stewardship, but
+shall become yet more irresponsible stewards. Bills like the
+Feeble-Minded Bill and the Inebriate Bill (very appropriate names for
+them) actually arm with scorpions the hand that has chastised the
+Malatestas and Maleckas with whips. The inspector, the doctor, the police
+sergeant, the well-paid person who writes certificates and "passes" this,
+that, or the other; this sort of man is being trusted with more authority,
+apparently because he is being doubted with more reason. In one room we
+are asking why the Government and the great experts between them cannot
+sail a ship. In another room we are deciding that the Government and
+experts shall be allowed, without trial or discussion, to immure any one's
+body, damn any one's soul, and dispose of unborn generations with the
+levity of a pagan god. We are putting the official on the throne while he
+is still in the dock.
+
+The mere meaning of words is now strangely forgotten and falsified; as
+when people talk of an author's "message," without thinking whom it is
+from; and I have noted in these connections the strange misuse of another
+word. It is the excellent mediaeval word "charter." I remember the Act
+that sought to save gutter-boys from cigarettes was called "The Children's
+Charter." Similarly the Act which seeks to lock up as lunatics people who
+are not lunatics was actually called a "charter" of the feeble-minded.
+Now this terminology is insanely wrong, even if the Bills are right. Even
+were they right in theory they would be applied only to the poor, like
+many better rules about education and cruelty. A woman was lately
+punished for cruelty because her children were not washed when it was
+proved that she had no water. From that it will be an easy step in
+Advanced Thought to punishing a man for wine-bibbing when it is proved
+that he had no wine. Rifts in right reason widen down the ages. And
+when we have begun by shutting up a confessedly kind person for cruelty,
+we may yet come to shutting up Mr. Tom Mann for feeblemindedness.
+
+But even if such laws do good to children or idiots, it is wrong to use
+the word "charter." A charter does not mean a thing that does good to
+people. It means a thing that grants people more rights and liberties.
+It may be a good thing for gutter-boys to be deprived of their cigarettes:
+it might be a good thing for aldermen to be deprived of their cigars.
+But I think the Goldsmiths' Company would be very much surprised if the
+King granted them a new charter (in place of their mediaeval charter), and
+it only meant that policemen might pull the cigars out of their mouths.
+It may be a good thing that all drunkards should be locked up: and many
+acute statesmen (King John, for instance) would certainly have thought it
+a good thing if all aristocrats could be locked up. But even that
+somewhat cynical prince would scarcely have granted to the barons a thing
+called "the Great Charter" and then locked them all up on the strength of
+it. If he had, this interpretation of the word "charter" would have
+struck the barons with considerable surprise. I doubt if their narrow
+mediaeval minds could have taken it in.
+
+The roots of the real England are in the early Middle Ages, and no
+Englishman will ever understand his own language (or even his own
+conscience) till he understands them. And he will never understand them
+till he understands this word "charter." I will attempt in a moment to
+state in older, more suitable terms, what a charter was. In modern,
+practical, and political terms, it is quite easy to state what a charter
+was. A charter was the thing that the railway workers wanted last
+Christmas and did not get; and apparently will never get. It is called in
+the current jargon "recognition"; the acknowledgment in so many words by
+society of the immunities or freedoms of a certain set of men. If there
+had been railways in the Middle Ages there would probably have been a
+railwaymen's guild; and it would have had a charter from the King,
+defining their rights. A charter is the expression of an idea still true
+and then almost universal: that authority is necessary for nothing so much
+as for the granting of liberties. Like everything mediaeval, it ramified
+back to a root in religion; and was a sort of small copy of the Christian
+idea of man's creation. Man was free, not because there was no God, but
+because it needed a God to set him free. By authority he was free. By
+authority the craftsmen of the guilds were free. Many other great
+philosophers took and take the other view: the Lucretian pagans, the
+Moslem fatalists, the modern monists and determinists, all roughly confine
+themselves to saying that God gave man a law. The mediaeval Christian
+insisted that God gave man a charter. Modern feeling may not sympathise
+with its list of liberties, which included the liberty to be damned; but
+that has nothing to do with the fact that it was a gift of liberties and
+not of laws. This was mirrored, however dimly, in the whole system.
+There was a great deal of gross inequality; and in other aspects absolute
+equality was taken for granted. But the point is that equality and
+inequality were ranks--or rights. There were not only things one was
+forbidden to do; but things one was forbidden to forbid. A man was not
+only definitely responsible, but definitely irresponsible. The holidays
+of his soul were immovable feasts. All a charter really meant lingers
+alive in that poetic phrase that calls the wind a "chartered" libertine.
+
+Lie awake at night and hear the wind blowing; hear it knock at every man's
+door and shout down every man's chimney. Feel how it takes liberties with
+everything, having taken primary liberty for itself; feel that the wind is
+always a vagabond and sometimes almost a housebreaker. But remember that
+in the days when free men had charters, they held that the wind itself was
+wild by authority; and was only free because it had a father.
+
+
+
+
+THE CONTENTED MAN
+
+
+The word content is not inspiring nowadays; rather it is irritating
+because it is dull. It prepares the mind for a little sermon in the style
+of the Vicar of Wakefield about how you and I should be satisfied with our
+countrified innocence and our simple village sports. The word, however,
+has two meanings, somewhat singularly connected; the "sweet content" of
+the poet and the "cubic content" of the mathematician. Some distinguish
+these by stressing the different syllables. Thus, it might happen to any
+of us, at some social juncture, to remark gaily, "Of the content of the
+King of the Cannibal Islands' Stewpot I am content to be ignorant"; or
+"Not content with measuring the cubic content of my safe, you are stealing
+the spoons." And there really is an analogy between the mathematical and
+the moral use of the term, for lack of the observation of which the latter
+has been much weakened and misused.
+
+The preaching of contentment is in disrepute, well deserved in so far that
+the moral is really quite inapplicable to the anarchy and insane peril of
+our tall and toppling cities. Content suggests some kind of security; and
+it is not strange that our workers should often think about rising above
+their position, since they have so continually to think about sinking
+below it. The philanthropist who urges the poor to saving and simple
+pleasures deserves all the derision that he gets. To advise people to be
+content with what they have got may or may not be sound moral philosophy.
+
+But to urge people to be content with what they haven't got is a piece of
+impudence hard for even the English poor to pardon. But though the creed
+of content is unsuited to certain special riddles and wrongs, it remains
+true for the normal of mortal life. We speak of divine discontent;
+discontent may sometimes be a divine thing, but content must always be the
+human thing. It may be true that a particular man, in his relation to
+his master or his neighbour, to his country or his enemies, will do well
+to be fiercely unsatisfied or thirsting for an angry justice. But it is
+not true, no sane person can call it true, that man as a whole in his
+general attitude towards the world, in his posture towards death or green
+fields, towards the weather or the baby, will be wise to cultivate
+dissatisfaction. In a broad estimate of our earthly experience, the great
+truism on the tablet remains: he must not covet his neighbour's ox nor his
+ass nor anything that is his. In highly complex and scientific
+civilisations he may sometimes find himself forced into an exceptional
+vigilance. But, then, in highly complex and scientific civilisations,
+nine times out of ten, he only wants his own ass back.
+
+But I wish to urge the case for cubic content; in which (even more than in
+moral content) I take a personal interest. Now, moral content has been
+undervalued and neglected because of its separation from the other meaning.
+It has become a negative rather than a positive thing. In some accounts
+of contentment it seems to be little more than a meek despair.
+
+But this is not the true meaning of the term; it should stand for the idea
+of a positive and thorough appreciation of the content of anything; for
+feeling the substance and not merely the surface of experience.
+"Content" ought to mean in English, as it does in French, being pleased;
+placidly, perhaps, but still positively pleased. Being contented with
+bread and cheese ought not to mean not caring what you eat. It ought to
+mean caring for bread and cheese; handling and enjoying the cubic content
+of the bread and cheese and adding it to your own. Being content with an
+attic ought not to mean being unable to move from it and resigned to
+living in it. It ought to mean appreciating what there is to appreciate
+in such a position; such as the quaint and elvish slope of the ceiling or
+the sublime aerial view of the opposite chimney-pots. And in this sense
+contentment is a real and even an active virtue; it is not only
+affirmative, but creative. The poet in the attic does not forget the
+attic in poetic musings; he remembers whatever the attic has of poetry; he
+realises how high, how starry, how cool, how unadorned and simple--in
+short, how Attic is the attic.
+
+True contentment is a thing as active as agriculture. It is the power of
+getting out of any situation all that there is in it. It is arduous and
+it is rare. The absence of this digestive talent is what makes so cold
+and incredible the tales of so many people who say they have been
+"through" things; when it is evident that they have come out on the other
+side quite unchanged. A man might have gone "through" a plum pudding as a
+bullet might go through a plum pudding; it depends on the size of the
+pudding--and the man. But the awful and sacred question is "Has the
+pudding been through him?" Has he tasted, appreciated, and absorbed the
+solid pudding, with its three dimensions and its three thousand tastes and
+smells? Can he offer himself to the eyes of men as one who has cubically
+conquered and contained a pudding?
+
+In the same way we may ask of those who profess to have passed through
+trivial or tragic experiences whether they have absorbed the content of
+them; whether they licked up such living water as there was. It is a
+pertinent question in connection with many modern problems.
+
+Thus the young genius says, "I have lived in my dreary and squalid village
+before I found success in Paris or Vienna." The sound philosopher will
+answer, "You have never lived in your village, or you would not call it
+dreary and squalid."
+
+Thus the Imperialist, the Colonial idealist (who commonly speaks and
+always thinks with a Yankee accent) will say, "I've been right away from
+these little muddy islands, and seen God's great seas and prairies." The
+sound philosopher will reply, "You have never been in these islands; you
+have never seen the weald of Sussex or the plain of Salisbury; otherwise
+you could never have called them either muddy or little."
+
+Thus the Suffragette will say, "I have passed through the paltry duties of
+pots and pans, the drudgery of the vulgar kitchen; but I have come out to
+intellectual liberty." The sound philosopher will answer, "You have never
+passed through the kitchen, or you never would call it vulgar. Wiser and
+stronger women than you have really seen a poetry in pots and pans;
+naturally, because there is a poetry in them." It is right for the
+village violinist to climb into fame in Paris or Vienna; it is right for
+the stray Englishman to climb across the high shoulder of the world; it is
+right for the woman to climb into whatever cathedrae or high places she
+can allow to her sexual dignity. But it is wrong that any of these
+climbers should kick the ladder by which they have climbed. But indeed
+these bitter people who record their experiences really record their lack
+of experiences. It is the countryman who has not succeeded in being a
+countryman who comes up to London. It is the clerk who has not succeeded
+in being a clerk who tries (on vegetarian principles) to be a countryman.
+And the woman with a past is generally a woman angry about the past she
+never had.
+
+When you have really exhausted an experience you always reverence and love
+it. The two things that nearly all of us have thoroughly and really been
+through are childhood and youth. And though we would not have them back
+again on any account, we feel that they are both beautiful, because we
+have drunk them dry.
+
+
+
+
+THE ANGRY AUTHOR: HIS FAREWELL
+
+
+I have republished all these old articles of mine because they cover a
+very controversial period, in which I was in nearly all the controversies,
+whether I was visible there or no. And I wish to gather up into this last
+article a valedictory violence about all such things; and then pass to
+where, beyond these voices, there is peace--or in other words, to the
+writing of Penny Dreadfuls; a noble and much-needed work. But before I
+finally desert the illusions of rationalism for the actualities of romance,
+I should very much like to write one last roaring, raging book telling
+all the rationalists not to be so utterly irrational. The book would be
+simply a string of violent vetoes, like the Ten Commandments. I would
+call it "Don'ts for Dogmatists; or Things I am Tired Of."
+
+This book of intellectual etiquette, like most books of etiquette, would
+begin with superficial things; but there would be, I fancy, a wailing
+imprecation in the words that could not be called artificial; it might
+begin thus:-(1) Don't use a noun and then an adjective that crosses out
+the noun. An adjective qualifies, it cannot contradict. Don't say, "Give
+me a patriotism that is free from all boundaries." It is like saying,
+"Give me a pork pie with no pork in it." Don't say, "I look forward to
+that larger religion that shall have no special dogmas." It is like
+saying, "I look forward to that larger quadruped who shall have no feet."
+A quadruped means something with four feet; and a religion means something
+that commits a man to some doctrine about the universe. Don't let the
+meek substantive be absolutely murdered by the joyful, exuberant adjective.
+
+
+(2) Don't say you are not going to say a thing, and then say it. This
+practice is very flourishing and successful with public speakers. The
+trick consists of first repudiating a certain view in unfavourable terms,
+and then repeating the same view in favourable terms. Perhaps the
+simplest form of it may be found in a landlord of my neighbourhood, who
+said to his tenants in an election speech, "Of course I'm not going to
+threaten you, but if this Budget passes the rents will go up." The thing
+can be done in many forms besides this. "I am the last man to mention
+party politics; but when I see the Empire rent in pieces by irresponsible
+Radicals," etc. "In this hall we welcome all creeds. We have no hostility
+against any honest belief; but only against that black priestcraft and
+superstition which can accept such a doctrine as," etc. "I would not say
+one word that could ruffle our relations with Germany. But this I will
+say; that when I see ceaseless and unscrupulous armament," etc. "Please
+don't do it. Decide to make a remark or not to make a remark. But don't
+fancy that you have somehow softened the saying of a thing by having just
+promised not to say it.
+
+(3) Don't use secondary words as primary words. "Happiness" (let us say)
+is a primary word. You know when you have the thing, and you jolly well
+know when you haven't. "Progress" is a secondary word; it means the
+degree of one's approach to happiness, or to some such solid ideal. But
+modern controversies constantly turn on asking, "Does Happiness help
+Progress?" Thus, I see in the New Age this week a letter from Mr.
+Egerton Swann, in which he warns the world against me and my friend Mr.
+Belloc, on the ground that our democracy is "spasmodic" (whatever that
+means); while our "reactionism is settled and permanent." It never
+strikes Mr. Swann that democracy means something in itself; while
+"reactionism" means nothing--except in connection with democracy. You
+cannot react except from something. If Mr. Swann thinks I have ever
+reacted from the doctrine that the people should rule, I wish he would
+give me the reference.
+
+(4) Don't say, "There is no true creed; for each creed believes itself
+right and the others wrong." Probably one of the creeds is right and the
+others are wrong. Diversity does show that most of the views must be
+wrong. It does not by the faintest logic show that they all must be wrong.
+I suppose there is no subject on which opinions differ with more
+desperate sincerity than about which horse will win the Derby. These are
+certainly solemn convictions; men risk ruin for them. The man who puts
+his shirt on Potosi must believe in that animal, and each of the other men
+putting their last garments upon other quadrupeds must believe in them
+quite as sincerely. They are all serious, and most of them are wrong.
+But one of them is right. One of the faiths is justified; one of the
+horses does win; not always even the dark horse which might stand for
+Agnosticism, but often the obvious and popular horse of Orthodoxy.
+Democracy has its occasional victories; and even the Favourite has been
+known to come in first. But the point here is that something comes in
+first. That there were many beliefs does not destroy the fact that there
+was one well-founded belief. I believe (merely upon authority) that the
+world is round. That there may be tribes who believe it to be triangular
+or oblong does not alter the fact that it is certainly some shape, and
+therefore not any other shape. Therefore I repeat, with the wail of
+imprecation, don't say that the variety of creeds prevents you from
+accepting any creed. It is an unintelligent remark.
+
+(5) Don't (if any one calls your doctrine mad, which is likely enough),
+don't answer that madmen are only the minority and the sane only the
+majority. The sane are sane because they are the corporate substance of
+mankind; the insane are not a minority because they are not a mob. The
+man who thinks himself a man thinks the next man a man; he reckons his
+neighbour as himself. But the man who thinks he is a chicken does not try
+to look through the man who thinks he is glass. The man who thinks
+himself Jesus Christ does not quarrel with the man who thinks himself
+Rockefeller; as would certainly happen if the two had ever met. But
+madmen never meet. It is the only thing they cannot do. They can talk,
+they can inspire, they can fight, they can found religions; but they
+cannot meet. Maniacs can never be the majority; for the simple reason
+that they can never be even a minority. If two madmen had ever agreed
+they might have conquered the world.
+
+(6) Don't say that the idea of human equality is absurd, because some men
+are tall and some short, some clever and some stupid. At the height of
+the French Revolution it was noticed that Danton was tall and Murat short.
+In the wildest popular excitement of America it is known that
+Rockefeller is stupid and that Bryan is clever. The doctrine of human
+equality reposes upon this: That there is no man really clever who has not
+found that he is stupid. That there is no big man who has not felt small.
+Some men never feel small; but these are the few men who are.
+
+(7) Don't say (O don't say) that Primitive Man knocked down a woman with a
+club and carried her away. Why on earth should he? Does the male sparrow
+knock down the female sparrow with a twig? Does the male giraffe knock
+down the female giraffe with a palm tree? Why should the male have had to
+use any violence at any time in order to make the female a female? Why
+should the woman roll herself in the mire lower than the sow or the
+she-bear; and profess to have been a slave where all these creatures were
+creators; where all these beasts were gods? Do not talk such bosh. I
+implore you, I supplicate you not to talk such bosh. Utterly and
+absolutely abolish all such bosh--and we may yet begin to discuss these
+public questions properly. But I fear my list of protests grows too long;
+and I know it could grow longer for ever. The reader must forgive my
+elongations and elaborations. I fancied for the moment that I was writing
+a book.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Miscellany of Men, by G. K. Chesterton
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