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diff --git a/20749.txt b/20749.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4285b11 --- /dev/null +++ b/20749.txt @@ -0,0 +1,20384 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of St. Ronan's Well, by Sir Walter Scott + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: St. Ronan's Well + +Author: Sir Walter Scott + +Release Date: March 6, 2007 [EBook #20749] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ST. RONAN'S WELL *** + + + + +Produced by Susan Skinner, Melissa Er-Raqabi, Ted Garvin +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + +_Standard Edition_ + + +St. Ronan's Well + +By + +Sir Walter Scott, Bart. + + +[Illustration] + + +With Introductory Essay and Notes + +by Andrew Lang + + +_Illustrated_ + +Dana Estes and Company +Publishers ... Boston + + +The Standard Edition + +of the Novels and Poems of Sir Walter Scott. Limited to one thousand +numbered and registered sets, of which this is + +No. 835 + + +_Copyright, 1894._ +BY ESTES AND LAURIAT + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + + +ST. RONAN'S WELL + + +VOLUME I. + + PAGE +Meg Dods (p. 13) _Frontispiece_ +The Meeting in the Wood 137 +Preparing for the Duel 198 + + * * * * * + +VOLUME II. + +Reappearance of Tyrrel 127 +Clara entering Tyrrel's Room 307 + + + + +EDITOR'S INTRODUCTION + +TO + +ST. RONAN'S WELL. + + +"'St. Ronan's Well' is not so much my favourite as certain of its +predecessors," Lady Louisa Stuart wrote to Scott on March 26, 1824. "Yet +still I see the author's hand in it, _et c'est tout dire_. Meg Dods, the +meeting" (vol. i. chap. ix.), "and the last scene between Clara and her +brother, are marked with the true stamp, not to be matched or mistaken. +Is the Siege of Ptolemais really on the anvil?" she goes on, speaking of +the projected Crusading Tales, and obviously anxious to part company +with "St. Ronan's Well." All judgments have not agreed with Lady +Louisa's. There is a literary legend or fable according to which a +number of distinguished men, all admirers of Scott, wrote down +separately the name of their favourite Waverley novel, and all, when the +papers were compared, had written "St. Ronan's." Sydney Smith, writing +to Constable on Dec. 28, 1823, described the new story as "far the best +that has appeared for some time. Every now and then there is some +mistaken or overcharged humour--but much excellent delineation of +character, the story very well told, and the whole very interesting. +Lady Binks, the old landlady, and Touchwood are all very good. Mrs. +Blower particularly so. So are MacTurk and Lady Penelope. I wish he +would give his people better names; Sir Bingo Binks is quite +ridiculous.... The curtain should have dropped on finding Clara's +glove. Some of the serious scenes with Clara and her brother are very +fine: the knife scene masterly. In her light and gay moments Clara is +very vulgar; but Sir Walter always fails in well-bred men and women, and +yet who has seen more of both? and who, in the ordinary intercourse of +society, is better bred? Upon the whole, I call this a very successful +exhibition." + +We have seldom found Sydney Smith giving higher praise, and nobody can +deny the justice of the censure with which it is qualified. Scott +himself explains, in his Introduction, how, in his quest of novelty, he +invaded modern life, and the domain of Miss Austen. Unhappily he proved +by example the truth of his own opinion that he could do "the big +bow-wow strain" very well, but that it was not his _celebrare domestica +facta_. Unlike George Sand, Sir Walter had humour abundantly, but, as +the French writer said of herself, he was wholly destitute of _esprit_. + +We need not linger over definition of these qualities; but we must +recognise, in Scott, the absence of lightness of touch, of delicacy in +the small sword-play of conversation. In fencing, all should be done, +the masters tell us, with the fingers. Scott works not even with the +wrist, but with the whole arm. The two-handed sword, the old claymore, +are his weapons, not the rapier. This was plain enough in the +word-combats of Queen Mary and her lady gaoler in Loch Leven. Much more +conspicuous is the "swashing blow" in the repartee of "St. Ronan's." The +insults lavished on Lady Binks are violent and cruel; even Clara Mowbray +taunts her. Now Lady Binks is in the same parlous case as the +postmistress who dreed penance "for ante-nup," as Meg Dods says in an +interrupted harangue, and we know that, to the author's mind, Clara +Mowbray had no right to throw stones. All these jeers are offensive to +generous feeling, and in the mouth of Clara are intolerable. Lockhart +remarked in Scott a singular bluntness of the sense of smell and of +taste. He could drink corked wine without a suspicion that there was +anything wrong with it. This curious obtuseness of a physical sense, in +one whose eyesight was so keen, who, "aye was the first to find the +hare" in coursing, seems to correspond with his want of lightness in the +invention of _badinage_. He tells us that, for a long while at least, he +had been unacquainted with the kind of society, the idle, useless +underbred society, of watering-places. Are we to believe that the +company at Gilsland, for instance, where he met and wooed Miss +Charpentier, was like the company at St. Ronan's? Lockhart vouches for +the snobbishness, "the mean admiration of mean things," the devotion to +the slimmest appearances of rank. All this is credible enough, but, if +there existed a society as dull and base as that which we meet in the +pages of "Mr. Soapy Sponge," and Surtees's other novels, assuredly it +was no theme for the great and generous spirit of Sir Walter. The worst +kind of manners always prevail among people whom moderns call "the +second-rate smart," and these are drawn in "St. Ronan's Well." But we +may believe that, even there, manners are no longer quite so hideous as +in the little Tweedside watering-place. The extinction of duelling has +destroyed, or nearly destroyed, the swaggering style of truculence; +people could not behave as Mowbray and Sir Bingo behave to Tyrrel, in +the after-dinner scene. The Man of Peace, the great MacTurk, with his +harangues translated from the language of Ossian, is no longer needed, +and no longer possible. Supposing manners to be correctly described in +"St. Ronan's," the pessimist himself must admit that manners have +improved. But it is not without regret that we see a genius born for +chivalry labouring in this unworthy and alien matter. + +The English critics delighted to accuse Scott of having committed +literary suicide. He had only stepped off the path to which he presently +returned. He was unfitted to write the domestic novel, and even in "St. +Ronan's" he introduces events of romantic improbability. These enable +him to depict scenes of the most passionate tragedy, as in the meeting +of Clara and Tyrrel. They who have loved so blindly and so kindly should +never have met, or never parted. It is like a tragic rendering of the +scene where Diana Vernon and Osbaldistone encounter each other on the +moonlit moor. The wild words of Clara, "Is it so, and was it even +yourself whom I saw even now?... And, all things considered, I do carry +on the farce of life wonderfully well,"--all this passage, with the +silence of the man, is on the highest level of poetic invention, and +Clara ranks with Ophelia. To her strain of madness we may ascribe, +perhaps, what Sydney Smith calls the vulgarity of her lighter moments. +But here the genius of Shakspeare is faultless, where Scott's is most +faulty and most mistaken. + +Much confusion is caused in "St. Ronan's Well" by Scott's concession to +the delicacy of James Ballantyne. What has shaken Clara's brain? Not her +sham marriage, for that was innocent, and might be legally annulled. +Lockhart writes (vii. 208): "Sir Walter had shown a remarkable degree of +good-nature in the composition of this novel. When the end came in view, +James Ballantyne suddenly took vast alarm about a particular feature in +the heroine's history. In the original conception, and in the book as +actually written and printed, Miss Mowbray's mock marriage had not +halted at the profane ceremony of the church; and the delicate printer +shrank from the idea of obtruding on the fastidious public the +possibility of any personal contamination having occurred to a high-born +damsel of the nineteenth century." Scott answered: "You would never +have quarrelled with it had the thing happened to a girl in gingham--the +silk petticoat can make little difference." "James reclaimed with double +energy, and called Constable to the rescue; and, after some pause, the +author very reluctantly consented to cancel and re-write about +twenty-four pages, which was enough to obliterate, to a certain extent, +the dreaded scandal--and, in a similar degree, as he always persisted, +to perplex and weaken the course of his narrative, and the dark effect +of its catastrophe." + +From a communication printed in the "Athenaeum" of Feb. 4, 1893, extracts +from the original proof-sheets, it seems that Lockhart forgot the +original plan of the novel. The mock marriage _did_ halt at the church +door, but Clara's virtue had yielded to her real lover, Tyrrel, before +the ceremony. Hannah Irwin had deliberately made opportunities for the +lovers' meeting, and at last, as she says, in a cancelled passage, "the +devil and Hannah Irwin prevailed." There followed remorse, and a +determination not to meet again before the Church made them one, and, on +the head of this, the mock marriage shook Clara's reason. This was the +original plan; it declares itself in the scene between Tyrrel and Clara +(vol. i. chap, ix.): "Wherefore should not sorrow be the end of sin and +folly?" The reviewer in the "Monthly Review" (1824) says "there is a +hint of some deeper cause of grief (see the confession to the brother), +but it is highly problematical." For all this the delicacy of James +Ballantyne is to blame--his delicacy, and Scott's concessions to a +respectable man and a bad critic. + +The origin of "St. Ronan's Well" has been described by Lockhart in a +familiar passage. As Laidlaw, Scott, and Lockhart were riding along the +brow of the triple-peaked Eildon Hills, Scott mentioned "the row" that +was going on in Paris about "Quentin Durward." "I can't but think I +could make better play still with something German," he said. Laidlaw +grumbled at this: "You are always best, like Helen MacGregor, when your +foot is on your native heath; and I have often thought that if you were +to write a novel, and lay the scene _here_ in the very year you were +writing it, you would exceed yourself." "Hame's hame," quoth Scott, +smiling, "be it ever sae hamely," and Laidlaw bade him "stick to Melrose +in 1823." It was now that Scott spoke of the village tragedy, the +romance of every house, of every cottage, and told a tale of some +horrors in the hamlet that lies beyond Melrose, on the north side of +Tweed. Laidlaw and Lockhart believed that this conversation suggested +"St. Ronan's Well," the scene of which has been claimed as their own by +the people of Innerleithen. This little town is beautifully situated +where the hills of Tweed are steepest, and least resemble the _bosses +verdatres_ of Prosper Merimee. It is now a manufacturing town, like its +neighbours, and contributes its quota to the pollution of "the +glittering and resolute streams of Tweed." The pilgrim will scarce rival +Tyrrel's feat of catching a clean-run salmon in summer, but the scenes +are extremely pleasing, and indeed, from this point to Dryburgh, the +beautiful and fabled river is at its loveliest. It is possible that a +little inn farther up the water, "The Crook," on the border of the +moorland, and near Tala Linn, where the Covenanters held a famous +assembly, may have suggested the name of the "Cleikum." Lockhart +describes the prosperity which soon flowed into Innerleithen, and the +St. Ronan's Games, at which the Ettrick Shepherd presided gleefully. +They are still held, or were held very lately, but there will never come +again such another Shepherd, or such contests with the Flying Tailor of +Ettrick. + +Apart from the tragedy of Clara, doubtless the better parts of "St. +Ronan's Well" are the Scotch characters. Even our generation remembers +many a Meg Dods, and he who writes has vividly in his recollection just +such tartness, such goodness of heart, such ungoverned eloquence and +vigour of rebuke as made Meg famous, successful on the stage, and +welcome to her countrymen. These people, Mrs. Blower and Meg, are +Shakspearean, they live with Dame Quickly and Shallow, in the hearts of +Scots, but to the English general they are possibly caviare. In the +gallant and irascible MacTurk we have the waning Highlander: he +resembles the Captain of Knockdunder in "The Heart of Mid Lothian," or +an exaggerated and ill-educated Hector of "The Antiquary." Concerning +the women of the tale, it may be said that Lady Binks has great +qualities, and appears to have been drawn "with an eye on the object," +as Wordsworth says, and from the life. Lady Penelope seems more +exaggerated now than she probably did at the time, for the fashion of +affectation changes. The Winterblossoms and Quacklebens are accurate +enough in themselves, but are seen through a Blackwoodian atmosphere, as +it were, through a mist of the temporary and boisterous Scotch humour of +the day. The author occasionally stoops to a pun, and, like that which +Hood made in the hearing of Thackeray, the pun is not good. Indeed the +novel, in its view of the decay of the Border, the ruined Laird, the +frivolous foolish society of the Well, taking the place of sturdy +William of Deloraine, and farmers like Scott's grandfather, makes a +picture of decadence as melancholy as "Redgauntlet." "Not here, O +Apollo, are haunts meet for thee!" Strangely enough, among the features +of the time, Scott mentions reckless borrowings, "accommodation," "Banks +of Air." His own business was based on a "Bank of Air," "wind-capital," +as Cadell, Constable's partner, calls it, and the bubble was just about +to burst, though Scott had no apprehension of financial ruin. A horrid +power is visible in Scott's second picture of _la mauvaise pauvre_, the +hag who despises and curses the givers of "handfuls of coals and of +rice;" his first he drew in the witches of "The Bride of Lammermoor." He +has himself indicated his desire to press hard on the vice of gambling, +as in "The Fortunes of Nigel." Ruinous at all times and in every shape, +gambling, in Scott's lifetime, during the Regency, had crippled or +destroyed many an historical Scottish family. With this in his mind he +drew the portrait of Mowbray of St. Ronan's. His picture of duelling is +not more seductive; he himself had lost his friend, Sir Alexander +Boswell, in a duel; on other occasions this institution had brought +discomfort into his life, and though he was ready to fight General +Gourgaud with Napoleon's pistols, he cannot have approved of the +practices of the MacTurks and Bingo Binkses. A maniac, as his +correspondence shows, challenged Sir Walter, insisting that he was +pointed at and ridiculed in the character of MacTurk. (Abbotsford MSS.) +It is interesting to have the picture of contemporary manners from +Scott's hand--Meg Dods remains among his immortal portraits; but a novel +in which the absurd will of fiction and the conventional Nabob are +necessary machinery can never be ranked so high as even "The Monastery" +and "Peveril." In Scotland, however, it was infinitely more successful +than its admirable successor "Redgauntlet." + +ANDREW LANG. +_December 1893._ + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +TO + +ST. RONAN'S WELL. + + +The novel which follows is upon a plan different from any other that the +author has ever written, although it is perhaps the most legitimate +which relates to this kind of light literature. + +It is intended, in a word--_celebrare domestica facta_--to give an +imitation of the shifting manners of our own time, and paint scenes, the +originals of which are daily passing round us, so that a minute's +observation may compare the copies with the originals. It must be +confessed that this style of composition was adopted by the author +rather from the tempting circumstance of its offering some novelty in +his compositions, and avoiding worn-out characters and positions, than +from the hope of rivalling the many formidable competitors who have +already won deserved honours in this department. The ladies, in +particular, gifted by nature with keen powers of observation and light +satire, have been so distinguished by these works of talent, that, +reckoning from the authoress of Evelina to her of Marriage, a catalogue +might be made, including the brilliant and talented names of Edgeworth, +Austin, Charlotte Smith, and others, whose success seems to have +appropriated this province of the novel as exclusively their own. It was +therefore with a sense of temerity that the author intruded upon a +species of composition which had been of late practised with such +distinguished success. This consciousness was lost, however, under the +necessity of seeking for novelty, without which, it was much to be +apprehended, such repeated incursions on his part would nauseate the +long indulgent public at the last. + +The scene chosen for the author's little drama of modern life was a +mineral spring, such as are to be found in both divisions of Britain, +and which are supplied with the usual materials for redeeming health, or +driving away care. The invalid often finds relief from his complaints, +less from the healing virtues of the Spa itself, than because his system +of ordinary life undergoes an entire change, in his being removed from +his ledger and account-books--from his legal folios and progresses of +title-deeds--from his counters and shelves,--from whatever else forms +the main source of his constant anxiety at home, destroys his appetite, +mars the custom of his exercise, deranges the digestive powers, and +clogs up the springs of life. Thither, too, comes the saunterer, anxious +to get rid of that wearisome attendant _himself_, and thither come both +males and females, who, upon a different principle, desire to make +themselves double. + +The society of such places is regulated, by their very nature, upon a +scheme much more indulgent than that which rules the world of fashion, +and the narrow circles of rank in the metropolis. The titles of rank, +birth, and fortune, are received at a watering-place without any very +strict investigation, as adequate to the purpose for which they are +preferred; and as the situation infers a certain degree of intimacy and +sociability for the time, so to whatever heights it may have been +carried, it is not understood to imply any duration beyond the length of +the season. No intimacy can be supposed more close for the time, and +more transitory in its endurance, than that which is attached to a +watering-place acquaintance. The novelist, therefore, who fixes upon +such a scene for his tale, endeavours to display a species of society, +where the strongest contrast of humorous characters and manners may be +brought to bear on and illustrate each other with less violation of +probability, than could be supposed to attend the same miscellaneous +assemblage in any other situation. + +In such scenes, too, are frequently mingled characters, not merely +ridiculous, but dangerous and hateful. The unprincipled gamester, the +heartless fortune-hunter, all those who eke out their means of +subsistence by pandering to the vices and follies of the rich and gay, +who drive, by their various arts, foibles into crimes, and imprudence +into acts of ruinous madness, are to be found where their victims +naturally resort, with the same certainty that eagles are gathered +together at the place of slaughter. By this the author takes a great +advantage for the management of his story, particularly in its darker +and more melancholy passages. The impostor, the gambler, all who live +loose upon the skirts of society, or, like vermin, thrive by its +corruptions, are to be found at such retreats, when they easily, and as +a matter of course, mingle with those dupes, who might otherwise have +escaped their snares. But besides those characters who are actually +dangerous to society, a well-frequented watering-place generally +exhibits for the amusement of the company, and the perplexity and +amazement of the more inexperienced, a sprinkling of persons called by +the newspapers eccentric characters--individuals, namely, who, either +from some real derangement of their understanding, or, much more +frequently, from an excess of vanity, are ambitious of distinguishing +themselves by some striking peculiarity in dress or address, +conversation or manners, and perhaps in all. These affectations are +usually adopted, like Drawcansir's extravagances, to show _they dare_; +and I must needs say, those who profess them are more frequently to be +found among the English, than among the natives of either of the other +two divisions of the united kingdoms. The reason probably is, that the +consciousness of wealth, and a sturdy feeling of independence, which +generally pervade the English nation, are, in a few individuals, +perverted into absurdity, or at least peculiarity. The witty Irishman, +on the contrary, adapts his general behaviour to that of the best +society, or that which he thinks such; nor is it any part of the shrewd +Scot's national character unnecessarily to draw upon himself public +attention. These rules, however, are not without their exceptions; for +we find men of every country playing the eccentric at these independent +resorts of the gay and the wealthy, where every one enjoys the license +of doing what is good in his own eyes. + +It scarce needed these obvious remarks to justify a novelist's choice of +a watering-place as the scene of a fictitious narrative. Unquestionably, +it affords every variety of character, mixed together in a manner which +cannot, without a breach of probability, be supposed to exist elsewhere; +neither can it be denied that in the concourse which such miscellaneous +collections of persons afford, events extremely different from those of +the quiet routine of ordinary life may, and often do, take place. + +It is not, however, sufficient that a mine be in itself rich and easily +accessible; it is necessary that the engineer who explores it should +himself, in mining phrase, have an accurate knowledge of the _country_, +and possess the skill necessary to work it to advantage. In this +respect, the author of Saint Ronan's Well could not be termed fortunate. +His habits of life had not led him much, of late years at least, into +its general or bustling scenes, nor had he mingled often in the society +which enables the observer to "shoot folly as it flies." The consequence +perhaps was, that the characters wanted that force and precision which +can only be given by a writer who is familiarly acquainted with his +subject. The author, however, had the satisfaction to chronicle his +testimony against the practice of gambling, a vice which the devil has +contrived to render all his own, since it is deprived of whatever pleads +an apology for other vices, and is founded entirely on the cold-blooded +calculation of the most exclusive selfishness. The character of the +traveller, meddling, self-important, and what the ladies call fussing, +but yet generous and benevolent in his purposes, was partly taken from +nature. The story, being entirely modern, cannot require much +explanation, after what has been here given, either in the shape of +notes, or a more prolix introduction. + +It may be remarked, that the English critics, in many instances, though +none of great influence, pursued Saint Ronan's Well with hue and cry, +many of the fraternity giving it as their opinion that the author had +exhausted himself, or, as the technical phrase expresses it, written +himself out; and as an unusual tract of success too often provokes many +persons to mark and exaggerate a slip when it does occur, the author was +publicly accused, in prose and verse, of having committed a literary +suicide in this unhappy attempt. The voices, therefore, were, for a +time, against Saint Ronan's on the southern side of the Tweed. + +In the author's own country, it was otherwise. Many of the characters +were recognised as genuine Scottish portraits, and the good fortune +which had hitherto attended the productions of the Author of Waverley, +did not desert, notwithstanding the ominous vaticinations of its +censurers, this new attempt, although out of his ordinary style. + +_1st February, 1832._ + + + + +ST. RONAN'S WELL. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +AN OLD-WORLD LANDLADY. + + But to make up my tale, + She breweth good ale, + And thereof maketh sale. + +SKELTON. + + +Although few, if any, of the countries of Europe, have increased so +rapidly in wealth and cultivation as Scotland during the last half +century, Sultan Mahmoud's owls might nevertheless have found in +Caledonia, at any term within that flourishing period, their dowery of +ruined villages. Accident or local advantages have, in many instances, +transferred the inhabitants of ancient hamlets, from the situations +which their predecessors chose with more respect to security than +convenience, to those in which their increasing industry and commerce +could more easily expand itself; and hence places which stand +distinguished in Scottish history, and which figure in David M'Pherson's +excellent historical map,[I-A][I-1] can now only be discerned from the wild +moor by the verdure which clothes their site, or, at best, by a few +scattered ruins, resembling pinfolds, which mark the spot of their +former existence. + +The little village of St. Ronan's, though it had not yet fallen into the +state of entire oblivion we have described, was, about twenty years +since, fast verging towards it. The situation had something in it so +romantic, that it provoked the pencil of every passing tourist; and we +will endeavour, therefore, to describe it in language which can scarcely +be less intelligible than some of their sketches, avoiding, however, for +reasons which seem to us of weight, to give any more exact indication of +the site, than that it is on the southern side of the Forth, and not +above thirty miles distant from the English frontier. + +A river of considerable magnitude pours its streams through a narrow +vale, varying in breadth from two miles to a fourth of that distance, +and which, being composed of rich alluvial soil, is, and has long been, +enclosed, tolerably well inhabited, and cultivated with all the skill of +Scottish agriculture. Either side of this valley is bounded by a chain +of hills, which, on the right in particular, may be almost termed +mountains. Little brooks arising in these ridges, and finding their way +to the river, offer each its own little vale to the industry of the +cultivator. Some of them bear fine large trees, which have as yet +escaped the axe, and upon the sides of most there are scattered patches +and fringes of natural copsewood, above and around which the banks of +the stream arise, somewhat desolate in the colder months, but in summer +glowing with dark purple heath, or with the golden lustre of the broom +and gorse. This is a sort of scenery peculiar to those countries, which +abound, like Scotland, in hills and in streams, and where the traveller +is ever and anon discovering in some intricate and unexpected recess, a +simple and silvan beauty, which pleases him the more, that it seems to +be peculiarly his own property as the first discoverer. + +In one of these recesses, and so near its opening as to command the +prospect of the river, the broader valley, and the opposite chain of +hills, stood, and, unless neglect and desertion have completed their +work, still stands, the ancient and decayed village of St. Ronan's. The +site was singularly picturesque, as the straggling street of the village +ran up a very steep hill, on the side of which were clustered, as it +were, upon little terraces, the cottages which composed the place, +seeming, as in the Swiss towns on the Alps, to rise above each other +towards the ruins of an old castle, which continued to occupy the crest +of the eminence, and the strength of which had doubtless led the +neighbourhood to assemble under its walls for protection. It must, +indeed, have been a place of formidable defence, for, on the side +opposite to the town, its walls rose straight up from the verge of a +tremendous and rocky precipice, whose base was washed by Saint Ronan's +burn, as the brook was entitled. On the southern side, where the +declivity was less precipitous, the ground had been carefully levelled +into successive terraces, which ascended to the summit of the hill, and +were, or rather had been, connected by staircases of stone, rudely +ornamented. In peaceful periods these terraces had been occupied by the +gardens of the Castle, and in times of siege they added to its security, +for each commanded the one immediately below it, so that they could be +separately and successively defended, and all were exposed to the fire +from the place itself--a massive square tower of the largest size, +surrounded, as usual, by lower buildings, and a high embattled wall. On +the northern side arose a considerable mountain, of which the descent +that lay between the eminence on which the Castle was situated seemed a +detached portion, and which had been improved and deepened by three +successive huge trenches. Another very deep trench was drawn in front of +the main entrance from the east, where the principal gateway formed the +termination of the street, which, as we have noticed, ascended from the +village, and this last defence completed the fortifications of the +tower. + +In the ancient gardens of the Castle, and upon all sides of it excepting +the western, which was precipitous, large old trees had found root, +mantling the rock and the ancient and ruinous walls with their dusky +verdure, and increasing the effect of the shattered pile which towered +up from the centre. + +Seated on the threshold of this ancient pile, where the "proud porter" +had in former days "rear'd himself,"[I-2] a stranger had a complete and +commanding view of the decayed village, the houses of which, to a +fanciful imagination, might seem as if they had been suddenly arrested +in hurrying down the precipitous hill, and fixed as if by magic in the +whimsical arrangement which they now presented. It was like a sudden +pause in one of Amphion's country-dances, when the huts which were to +form the future Thebes were jigging it to his lute. But, with such an +observer, the melancholy excited by the desolate appearance of the +village soon overcame all the lighter frolics of the imagination. +Originally constructed on the humble plan used in the building of Scotch +cottages about a century ago, the greater part of them had been long +deserted; and their fallen roofs, blackened gables, and ruinous walls, +showed Desolation's triumph over Poverty. On some huts the rafters, +varnished with soot, were still standing, in whole or in part, like +skeletons, and a few, wholly or partially covered with thatch, seemed +still inhabited, though scarce habitable; for the smoke of the +peat-fires, which prepared the humble meal of the indwellers, stole +upwards, not only from the chimneys, its regular vent, but from various +other crevices in the roofs. Nature, in the meanwhile, always changing, +but renewing as she changes, was supplying, by the power of vegetation, +the fallen and decaying marks of human labour. Small pollards, which had +been formerly planted around the little gardens, had now waxed into huge +and high forest trees; the fruit-trees had extended their branches over +the verges of the little yards, and the hedges had shot up into huge and +irregular bushes; while quantities of dock, and nettles, and hemlock, +hiding the ruined walls, were busily converting the whole scene of +desolation into a picturesque forest-bank. + +Two houses in St. Ronan's were still in something like decent repair; +places essential--the one to the spiritual weal of the inhabitants, the +other to the accommodation of travellers. These were the clergyman's +manse, and the village inn. Of the former we need only say, that it +formed no exception to the general rule by which the landed proprietors +of Scotland seem to proceed in lodging their clergy, not only in the +cheapest, but in the ugliest and most inconvenient house which the +genius of masonry can contrive. It had the usual number of +chimneys--two, namely--rising like asses' ears at either end, which +answered the purpose for which they were designed as ill as usual. It +had all the ordinary leaks and inlets to the fury of the elements, which +usually form the subject of the complaints of a Scottish incumbent to +his brethren of the presbytery; and, to complete the picture, the +clergyman being a bachelor, the pigs had unmolested admission to the +garden and court-yard, broken windows were repaired with brown paper, +and the disordered and squalid appearance of a low farm-house, occupied +by a bankrupt tenant, dishonoured the dwelling of one, who, besides his +clerical character, was a scholar and a gentleman, though a little of a +humourist. + +Beside the manse stood the kirk of St. Ronan's, a little old mansion +with a clay floor, and an assemblage of wretched pews, originally of +carved oak, but heedfully clouted with white fir-deal. But the external +form of the church was elegant in the outline, having been built in +Catholic times, when we cannot deny to the forms of ecclesiastical +architecture that grace, which, as good Protestants, we refuse to their +doctrine. The fabric hardly raised its grey and vaulted roof among the +crumbling hills of mortality by which it was surrounded, and was indeed +so small in size, and so much lowered in height by the graves on the +outside, which ascended half way up the low Saxon windows, that it might +itself have appeared only a funeral vault, or mausoleum of larger size. +Its little square tower, with the ancient belfry, alone distinguished it +from such a monument. But when the grey-headed beadle turned the keys +with his shaking hand, the antiquary was admitted into an ancient +building, which, from the style of its architecture, and some monuments +of the Mowbrays of St. Ronan's, which the old man was accustomed to +point out, was generally conjectured to be as early as the thirteenth +century. + +These Mowbrays of St. Ronan's seem to have been at one time a very +powerful family. They were allied to, and friends of the house of +Douglas, at the time when the overgrown power of that heroic race made +the Stewarts tremble on the Scottish throne. It followed that, when, as +our old _naif_ historian expresses it, "no one dared to strive with a +Douglas, nor yet with a Douglas's man, for if he did, he was sure to +come by the waur," the family of St. Ronan's shared their prosperity, +and became lords of almost the whole of the rich valley of which their +mansion commanded the prospect. But upon the turning of the tide, in the +reign of James II., they became despoiled of the greater part of those +fair acquisitions, and succeeding events reduced their importance still +farther. Nevertheless, they were, in the middle of the seventeenth +century, still a family of considerable note; and Sir Reginald Mowbray, +after the unhappy battle of Dunbar, distinguished himself by the +obstinate defence of the Castle against the arms of Cromwell, who, +incensed at the opposition which he had unexpectedly encountered in an +obscure corner, caused the fortress to be dismantled and blown up with +gunpowder. + +After this catastrophe the old Castle was abandoned to ruin; but Sir +Reginald, when, like Allan Ramsay's Sir William Worthy, he returned +after the Revolution, built himself a house in the fashion of that later +age, which he prudently suited in size to the diminished fortunes of his +family. It was situated about the middle of the village, whose vicinity +was not in those days judged any inconvenience, upon a spot of ground +more level than was presented by the rest of the acclivity, where, as we +said before, the houses were notched as it were into the side of the +steep bank, with little more level ground about them than the spot +occupied by their site. But the Laird's house had a court in front and a +small garden behind, connected with another garden, which, occupying +three terraces, descended, in emulation of the orchards of the old +Castle, almost to the banks of the stream. + +The family continued to inhabit this new messuage until about fifty +years before the commencement of our history, when it was much damaged +by a casual fire; and the Laird of the day, having just succeeded to a +more pleasant and commodious dwelling at the distance of about three +miles from the village, determined to abandon the habitation of his +ancestors. As he cut down at the same time an ancient rookery, (perhaps +to defray the expenses of the migration,) it became a common remark +among the country folk, that the decay of St. Ronan's began when Laird +Lawrence and the crows flew off. + +The deserted mansion, however, was not consigned to owls and birds of +the desert; on the contrary, for many years it witnessed more fun and +festivity than when it had been the sombre abode of a grave Scottish +Baron of "auld lang syne." In short, it was converted into an inn, and +marked by a huge sign, representing on the one side St. Ronan catching +hold of the devil's game leg with his Episcopal crook, as the story may +be read in his veracious legend, and on the other the Mowbray arms. It +was by far the best frequented public-house in that vicinity; and a +thousand stories were told of the revels which had been held within its +walls, and the gambols achieved under the influence of its liquors. All +this, however, had long since passed away, according to the lines in my +frontispiece, + + "A merry place, 'twas said, in days of yore; + But something ail'd it now,--the place was cursed." + +The worthy couple (servants and favourites of the Mowbray family) who +first kept the inn, had died reasonably wealthy, after long carrying on +a flourishing trade, leaving behind them an only daughter. They had +acquired by degrees not only the property of the inn itself, of which +they were originally tenants, but of some remarkably good meadow-land by +the side of the brook, which, when touched by a little pecuniary +necessity, the Lairds of St. Ronan's had disposed of piecemeal, as the +readiest way to portion off a daughter, procure a commission for the +younger son, and the like emergencies. So that Meg Dods, when she +succeeded to her parents, was a considerable heiress, and, as such, had +the honour of refusing three topping-farmers, two bonnet-lairds, and a +horse-couper, who successively made proposals to her. + +Many bets were laid on the horse-couper's success, but the knowing ones +were taken in. Determined to ride the fore-horse herself, Meg would +admit no helpmate who might soon assert the rights of a master; and so, +in single blessedness, and with the despotism of Queen Bess herself, she +ruled all matters with a high hand, not only over her men-servants and +maid-servants, but over the stranger within her gates, who, if he +ventured to oppose Meg's sovereign will and pleasure, or desire to have +either fare or accommodation different from that which she chose to +provide for him, was instantly ejected with that answer which Erasmus +tells us silenced all complaints in the German inns of his time, _Quaere +aliud hospitium_;[I-3] or, as Meg expressed it, "Troop aff wi' ye to +another public." As this amounted to a banishment in extent equal to +sixteen miles from Meg's residence, the unhappy party on whom it was +passed, had no other refuge save by deprecating the wrath of his +landlady, and resigning himself to her will. It is but justice to Meg +Dods to state, that though hers was a severe and almost despotic +government, it could not be termed a tyranny, since it was exercised, +upon the whole, for the good of the subject. + +The vaults of the old Laird's cellar had not, even in his own day, been +replenished with more excellent wines; the only difficulty was to +prevail on Meg to look for the precise liquor you chose;--to which it +may be added, that she often became restiff when she thought a company +had had "as much as did them good," and refused to furnish any more +supplies. Then her kitchen was her pride and glory; she looked to the +dressing of every dish herself, and there were some with which she +suffered no one to interfere. Such were the cock-a-leeky, and the +savoury minced collops, which rivalled in their way even the veal +cutlets of our old friend Mrs. Hall, at Ferrybridge. Meg's table-linen, +bed-linen, and so forth, were always home-made, of the best quality, +and in the best order; and a weary day was that to the chambermaid in +which her lynx eye discovered any neglect of the strict cleanliness +which she constantly enforced. Indeed, considering Meg's country and +calling, we were never able to account for her extreme and scrupulous +nicety, unless by supposing that it afforded her the most apt and +frequent pretext for scolding her maids; an exercise in which she +displayed so much eloquence and energy, that we must needs believe it to +have been a favourite one.[I-4] + +We have only further to commemorate, the moderation of Meg's reckonings, +which, when they closed the banquet, often relieved the apprehensions, +instead of saddening the heart, of the rising guest. A shilling for +breakfast, three shillings for dinner, including a pint of old port, +eighteenpence for a snug supper--such were the charges of the inn of St. +Ronan's, under this landlady of the olden world, even after the +nineteenth century had commenced; and they were ever tendered with the +pious recollection, that her good father never charged half so much, but +these weary times rendered it impossible for her to make the lawing +less.[I-5] + +Notwithstanding all these excellent and rare properties, the inn at +Saint Ronan's shared the decay of the village to which it belonged. This +was owing to various circumstances. The high-road had been turned aside +from the place, the steepness of the street being murder (so the +postilions declared) to their post-horses. It was thought that Meg's +stern refusal to treat them with liquor, or to connive at their +exchanging for porter and whisky the corn which should feed their +cattle, had no small influence on the opinion of those respectable +gentlemen, and that a little cutting and levelling would have made the +ascent easy enough; but let that pass. This alteration of the highway +was an injury which Meg did not easily forgive to the country gentlemen, +most of whom she had recollected when children. "Their fathers," she +said, "wad not have done the like of it to a lone woman." Then the decay +of the village itself, which had formerly contained a set of feuars and +bonnet-lairds, who, under the name of the Chirupping Club, contrived to +drink twopenny, qualified with brandy or whisky, at least twice or +thrice a-week, was some small loss. + +The temper and manners of the landlady scared away all customers of that +numerous class, who will not allow originality to be an excuse for the +breach of decorum, and who, little accustomed perhaps to attendance at +home, loved to play the great man at an inn, and to have a certain +number of bows, deferential speeches, and apologies, in answer to the +G--d d--n ye's which they bestow on the house, attendance, and +entertainment. Unto those who commenced this sort of barter in the +Clachan of Saint Ronan's, well could Meg Dods pay it back, in their own +coin; and glad they were to escape from the house with eyes not quite +scratched out, and ears not more deafened than if they had been within +hearing of a pitched battle. + +Nature had formed honest Meg for such encounters; and as her noble soul +delighted in them, so her outward properties were in what Tony Lumpkin +calls a concatenation accordingly. She had hair of a brindled colour, +betwixt black and grey, which was apt to escape in elf-locks from under +her mutch when she was thrown into violent agitation--long skinny hands, +terminated by stout talons--grey eyes, thin lips, a robust person, a +broad, though flat chest, capital wind, and a voice that could match a +choir of fishwomen. She was accustomed to say of herself in her more +gentle moods, that her bark was worse than her bite; but what teeth +could have matched a tongue, which, when in full career, is vouched to +have been heard from the Kirk to the Castle of Saint Ronan's? + +These notable gifts, however, had no charms for the travellers of these +light and giddy-paced times, and Meg's inn became less and less +frequented. What carried the evil to the uttermost was, that a fanciful +lady of rank in the neighbourhood chanced to recover of some imaginary +complaint by the use of a mineral well about a mile and a half from the +village; a fashionable doctor was found to write an analysis of the +healing waters, with a list of sundry cures; a speculative builder took +land in feu, and erected lodging-houses, shops, and even streets. At +length a tontine subscription was obtained to erect an inn, which, for +the more grace, was called a hotel; and so the desertion of Meg Dods +became general.[I-6] + +She had still, however, her friends and well-wishers, many of whom +thought, that as she was a lone woman, and known to be well to pass in +the world, she would act wisely to retire from public life, and take +down a sign which had no longer fascination for guests. But Meg's spirit +scorned submission, direct or implied. "Her father's door," she said, +"should be open to the road, till her father's bairn should be streekit +and carried out at it with her feet foremost. It was not for the +profit--there was little profit at it;--profit?--there was a dead loss; +but she wad not be dung by any of them. They maun hae a hottle,[I-7] maun +they?--and an honest public canna serve them! They may hottle that +likes; but they shall see that Lucky Dods can hottle on as lang as the +best of them--ay, though they had made a Tamteen of it, and linkit aw +their breaths of lives, whilk are in their nostrils, on end of ilk other +like a string of wild-geese, and the langest liver bruick a', (whilk was +sinful presumption,) she would match ilk ane of them as lang as her ain +wind held out." Fortunate it was for Meg, since she had formed this +doughty resolution, that although her inn had decayed in custom, her +land had risen in value in a degree which more than compensated the +balance on the wrong side of her books, and, joined to her usual +providence and economy, enabled her to act up to her lofty purpose. + +She prosecuted her trade too with every attention to its diminished +income; shut up the windows of one half of her house, to baffle the +tax-gatherer; retrenched her furniture; discharged her pair of +post-horses, and pensioned off the old humpbacked postilion who drove +them, retaining his services, however, as an assistant to a still more +aged hostler. To console herself for restrictions by which her pride was +secretly wounded, she agreed with the celebrated Dick Tinto to re-paint +her father's sign, which had become rather undecipherable; and Dick +accordingly gilded the Bishop's crook, and augmented the horrors of the +Devil's aspect, until it became a terror to all the younger fry of the +school-house, and a sort of visible illustration of the terrors of the +arch-enemy, with which the minister endeavoured to impress their infant +minds. + +Under this renewed symbol of her profession, Meg Dods, or Meg Dorts, as +she was popularly termed, on account of her refractory humours, was +still patronised by some steady customers. Such were the members of the +Killnakelty Hunt, once famous on the turf and in the field, but now a +set of venerable grey-headed sportsmen, who had sunk from fox-hounds to +basket-beagles and coursing, and who made an easy canter on their quiet +nags a gentle induction to a dinner at Meg's. "A set of honest decent +men they were," Meg said; "had their sang and their joke--and what for +no? Their bind was just a Scots pint over-head, and a tappit-hen to the +bill, and no man ever saw them the waur o't. It was thae cockle-brained +callants of the present day that would be mair owerta'en with a puir +quart than douce folk were with a magnum." + +Then there was a set of ancient brethren of the angle from Edinburgh, +who visited Saint Ronan's frequently in the spring and summer, a class +of guests peculiarly acceptable to Meg, who permitted them more latitude +in her premises than she was known to allow to any other body. "They +were," she said, "pawky auld carles, that kend whilk side their bread +was buttered upon. Ye never kend of ony o' them ganging to the spring, +as they behoved to ca' the stinking well yonder.--Na, na--they were up +in the morning--had their parritch, wi' maybe a thimblefull of brandy, +and then awa up into the hills, eat their bit cauld meat on the heather, +and came hame at e'en with the creel full of caller trouts, and had them +to their dinner, and their quiet cogue of ale, and their drap punch, and +were set singing their catches and glees, as they ca'd them, till ten +o'clock, and then to bed, wi' God bless ye--and what for no?" + +Thirdly, we may commemorate some ranting blades, who also came from the +metropolis to visit Saint Ronan's, attracted by the humours of Meg, and +still more by the excellence of her liquor, and the cheapness of her +reckonings. These were members of the Helter Skelter Club, of the +Wildfire Club, and other associations formed for the express purpose of +getting rid of care and sobriety. Such dashers occasioned many a racket +in Meg's house, and many a _bourasque_ in Meg's temper. Various were the +arts of flattery and violence by which they endeavoured to get supplies +of liquor, when Meg's conscience told her they had had too much already. +Sometimes they failed, as when the croupier of the Helter Skelter got +himself scalded with the mulled wine, in an unsuccessful attempt to coax +this formidable virago by a salute; and the excellent president of the +Wildfire received a broken head from the keys of the cellar, as he +endeavoured to possess himself of these emblems of authority. But little +did these dauntless officials care for the exuberant frolics of Meg's +temper, which were to them only "pretty Fanny's way"--the _dulces +Amaryllidis irae_. And Meg, on her part, though she often called them +"drunken ne'er-do-weels, and thoroughbred High-street blackguards," +allowed no other person to speak ill of them in her hearing. "They were +daft callants," she said, "and that was all--when the drink was in, the +wit was out--ye could not put an auld head upon young shouthers--a young +cowt will canter, be it up-hill or down--and what for no?" was her +uniform conclusion. + +Nor must we omit, among Meg's steady customers, "faithful amongst the +unfaithful found," the copper-nosed sheriff-clerk of the county, who, +when summoned by official duty to that district of the shire, warmed by +recollections of her double-brewed ale, and her generous Antigua, always +advertised that his "Prieves," or "Comptis," or whatever other business +was in hand, were to proceed on such a day and hour, "within the house +of Margaret Dods, vintner in Saint Ronan's." + +We have only farther to notice Meg's mode of conducting herself towards +chance travellers, who, knowing nothing of nearer or more fashionable +accommodations, or perhaps consulting rather the state of their purse +than of their taste, stumbled upon her house of entertainment. Her +reception of these was as precarious as the hospitality of a savage +nation to sailors shipwrecked on their coast. If the guests seemed to +have made her mansion their free choice--or if she liked their +appearance (and her taste was very capricious)--above all, if they +seemed pleased with what they got, and little disposed to criticise or +give trouble, it was all very well. But if they had come to Saint +Ronan's because the house at the Well was full--or if she disliked what +the sailor calls the cut of their jib--or if, above all, they were +critical about their accommodations, none so likely as Meg to give them +what in her country is called a _sloan_. In fact, she reckoned such +persons a part of that ungenerous and ungrateful public, for whose sake +she was keeping her house open at a dead loss, and who had left her, as +it were, a victim to her patriotic zeal. + +Hence arose the different reports concerning the little inn of Saint +Ronan's, which some favoured travellers praised as the neatest and most +comfortable old-fashioned house in Scotland, where you had good +attendance, and good cheer, at moderate rates; while others, less +fortunate, could only talk of the darkness of the rooms, the homeliness +of the old furniture, and the detestable bad humour of Meg Dods, the +landlady. + +Reader, if you come from the more sunny side of the Tweed--or even if, +being a Scot, you have had the advantage to be born within the last +twenty-five years, you may be induced to think this portrait of Queen +Elizabeth, in Dame Quickly's piqued hat and green apron, somewhat +overcharged in the features. But I appeal to my own contemporaries, who +have known wheel-road, bridle-way, and footpath, for thirty years, +whether they do not, every one of them, remember Meg Dods--or somebody +very like her. Indeed, so much is this the case, that, about the period +I mention, I should have been afraid to have rambled from the Scottish +metropolis, in almost any direction, lest I had lighted upon some one of +the sisterhood of Dame Quickly, who might suspect me of having showed +her up to the public in the character of Meg Dods. At present, though it +is possible that some one or two of this peculiar class of wild-cats may +still exist, their talons must be much impaired by age; and I think they +can do little more than sit, like the Giant Pope, in the Pilgrim's +Progress, at the door of their unfrequented caverns, and grin at the +pilgrims over whom they used formerly to execute their despotism. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-1] See Editor's Notes at the end of the Volume. Wherever a similar +reference occurs, the reader will understand that the same direction +applies. + +[I-2] See the old Ballad of King Estmere, in PERCY'S _Reliques_. + +[I-3] In a colloquy of Erasmus, called _Diversaria_, there is a very +unsavoury description of a German inn of the period, where an objection +of the guest is answered in the manner expressed in the text--a great +sign of want of competition on the road. + +[I-4] This circumstance shows of itself, that the Meg Dods of the tale +cannot be identified with her namesake Jenny Dods, who kept the inn at +Howgate,[I-B] on the Peebles road; for Jenny, far different from our +heroine, was unmatched as a slattern. + +[I-5] This was universally the case in Scotland forty or fifty years ago; +and so little was charged for a domestic's living when the author became +first acquainted with the road, that a shilling or eighteenpence was +sufficient board wages for a man-servant, when a crown would not now +answer the purpose. It is true the cause of these reasonable charges +rested upon a principle equally unjust to the landlord, and inconvenient +to the guest. The landlord did not expect to make any thing upon the +charge for eating which his bill contained; in consideration of which, +the guest was expected to drink more wine than might be convenient or +agreeable to him, "_for the good_," as it was called, "_of the house_." +The landlord indeed was willing and ready to assist, in this duty, every +stranger who came within his gates. Other things were in proportion. A +charge for lodging, fire, and candle, was long a thing unheard of in +Scotland. A shilling to the housemaid settled all such considerations. I +see, from memorandums of 1790, that a young man, with two ponies and a +serving-lad, might travel from the house of one Meg Dods to another, +through most parts of Scotland, for about five or six shillings a-day. + +[I-6] Note I.--Building-Feus in Scotland. + +[I-7] This Gallic word (hotel) was first introduced in Scotland during the +author's childhood, and was so pronounced by the lower class. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE GUEST. + + Quis novus hic hospes? + _Dido apud Virgilium._ + + Ch'am-maid! The Gemman in the front parlour! + +BOOTS'S _free Translation of the AEneid_. + + +It was on a fine summer's day that a solitary traveller rode under the +old-fashioned archway, and alighted in the court-yard of Meg Dods's inn, +and delivered the bridle of his horse to the humpbacked postilion. +"Bring my saddle-bags," he said, "into the house--or stay--I am abler, I +think, to carry them than you." He then assisted the poor meagre groom +to unbuckle the straps which secured the humble and now despised +convenience, and meantime gave strict charges that his horse should be +unbridled, and put into a clean and comfortable stall, the girths +slacked, and a cloth cast over his loins; but that the saddle should not +be removed until he himself came to see him dressed. + +The companion of his travels seemed in the hostler's eye deserving of +his care, being a strong active horse, fit either for the road or field, +but rather high in bone from a long journey, though from the state of +his skin it appeared the utmost care had been bestowed to keep him in +condition. While the groom obeyed the stranger's directions, the latter, +with the saddle-bags laid over his arm, entered the kitchen of the inn. + +Here he found the landlady herself in none of her most blessed humours. +The cook-maid was abroad on some errand, and Meg, in a close review of +the kitchen apparatus, was making the unpleasant discovery, that +trenchers had been broken or cracked, pots and saucepans not so +accurately scoured as her precise notions of cleanliness required, +which, joined to other detections of a more petty description, stirred +her bile in no small degree; so that while she disarranged and arranged +the _bink_, she maundered, in an under tone, complaints and menaces +against the absent delinquent. + +The entrance of a guest did not induce her to suspend this agreeable +amusement--she just glanced at him as he entered, then turned her back +short on him, and continued her labour and her soliloquy of lamentation. +Truth is, she thought she recognised in the person of the stranger, one +of those useful envoys of the commercial community, called, by +themselves and the waiters, _Travellers_, par excellence--by others, +Riders and Bagmen. Now against this class of customers Meg had peculiar +prejudices; because, there being no shops in the old village of Saint +Ronan's, the said commercial emissaries, for the convenience of their +traffic, always took up their abode at the New Inn, or Hotel, in the +rising and rival village called Saint Ronan's Well, unless when some +straggler, by chance or dire necessity, was compelled to lodge himself +at the Auld Town, as the place of Meg's residence began to be generally +termed. She had, therefore, no sooner formed the hasty conclusion, that +the individual in question belonged to this obnoxious class, than she +resumed her former occupation, and continued to soliloquize and +apostrophize her absent handmaidens, without even appearing sensible of +his presence. + +"The huzzy Beenie--the jaud Eppie--the deil's buckie of a +callant!--Another plate gane--they'll break me out of house and ha'!" + +The traveller, who, with his saddle-bags rested on the back of a chair, +had waited in silence for some note of welcome, now saw that, ghost or +no ghost, he must speak first, if he intended to have any notice from +his landlady. + +"You are my old acquaintance, Mrs. Margaret Dods?" said the stranger. + +"What for no?--and wha are ye that speers?" said Meg, in the same +breath, and began to rub a brass candlestick with more vehemence than +before--the dry tone in which she spoke, indicating plainly how little +concern she took in the conversation. + +"A traveller, good Mistress Dods, who comes to take up his lodgings here +for a day or two." + +"I am thinking ye will be mista'en," said Meg; "there's nae room for +bags or jaugs here--ye've mista'en your road, neighbour--ye maun e'en +bundle yoursell a bit farther down hill." + +"I see you have not got the letter I sent you, Mistress Dods?" said the +guest. + +"How should I, man?" answered the hostess; "they have ta'en awa the +post-office from us--moved it down till the Spa-well yonder, as they +ca'd." + +"Why, that is but a step off," observed the guest. + +"Ye will get there the sooner," answered the hostess. + +"Nay, but," said the guest, "if you had sent there for my letter, you +would have learned"---- + +"I'm no wanting to learn ony thing at my years," said Meg. "If folk have +ony thing to write to me about, they may gie the letter to John Hislop, +the carrier, that has used the road these forty years. As for the +letters at the post-mistress's, as they ca' her, down by yonder, they +may bide in her shop-window, wi' the snaps and bawbee rows, till +Beltane, or I loose them. I'll never file my fingers with them. +Post-mistress, indeed!--Upsetting cutty! I mind her fu' weel when she +dree'd penance for ante-nup"---- + +Laughing, but interrupting Meg in good time for the character of the +post-mistress, the stranger assured her he had sent his fishing-rod and +trunk to her confidential friend the carrier, and that he sincerely +hoped she would not turn an old acquaintance out of her premises, +especially as he believed he could not sleep in a bed within five miles +of Saint Ronan's, if he knew that her Blue room was unengaged. + +"Fishing-rod!--Auld acquaintance!--Blue room!" echoed Meg, in some +surprise; and, facing round upon the stranger, and examining him with +some interest and curiosity,--"Ye'll be nae bagman, then, after a'?" + +"No," said the traveller; "not since I have laid the saddle-bags out of +my hand." + +"Weel, I canna say but I am glad of that--I canna bide their yanking way +of knapping English at every word.--I have kent decent lads amang them +too--What for no?--But that was when they stopped up here whiles, like +other douce folk; but since they gaed down, the hail flight of them, +like a string of wild-geese, to the new-fashioned hottle yonder, I am +told there are as mony hellicate tricks played in the travellers' room, +as they behove to call it, as if it were fu' of drunken young lairds." + +"That is because they have not you to keep good order among them, +Mistress Margaret." + +"Ay, lad?" replied Meg, "ye are a fine blaw-in-my-lug, to think to +cuittle me off sae cleverly!" And, facing about upon her guest, she +honoured him with a more close and curious investigation than she had at +first designed to bestow upon him. + +All that she remarked was in her opinion rather favourable to the +stranger. He was a well-made man, rather above than under the middle +size, and apparently betwixt five-and-twenty and thirty years of +age--for, although he might, at first glance, have passed for one who +had attained the latter period, yet, on a nearer examination, it seemed +as if the burning sun of a warmer climate than Scotland, and perhaps +some fatigue, both of body and mind, had imprinted the marks of care and +of manhood upon his countenance, without abiding the course of years. +His eyes and teeth were excellent, and his other features, though they +could scarce be termed handsome, expressed sense and acuteness; he bore, +in his aspect, that ease and composure of manner, equally void of +awkwardness and affectation, which is said emphatically to mark the +gentleman; and, although neither the plainness of his dress, nor the +total want of the usual attendants, allowed Meg to suppose him a wealthy +man, she had little doubt that he was above the rank of her lodgers in +general. Amidst these observations, and while she was in the course of +making them, the good landlady was embarrassed with various obscure +recollections of having seen the object of them formerly; but when, or +on what occasion, she was quite unable to call to remembrance. She was +particularly puzzled by the cold and sarcastic expression of a +countenance, which she could not by any means reconcile with the +recollections which it awakened. At length she said, with as much +courtesy as she was capable of assuming,--"Either I have seen you +before, sir, or some ane very like ye?--Ye ken the Blue room, too, and +you a stranger in these parts?" + +"Not so much a stranger as you may suppose, Meg," said the guest, +assuming a more intimate tone, "when I call myself Frank Tyrrel." + +"Tirl!" exclaimed Meg, with a tone of wonder--"It's impossible! You +cannot be Francie Tirl, the wild callant that was fishing and +bird-nesting here seven or eight years syne--it canna be--Francie was +but a callant!" + +"But add seven or eight years to that boy's life, Meg," said the +stranger gravely, "and you will find you have the man who is now before +you." + +"Even sae!" said Meg, with a glance at the reflection of her own +countenance in the copper coffee-pot, which she had scoured so brightly +that it did the office of a mirror--"Just e'en sae--but folk maun grow +auld or die.--But, Maister Tirl, for I mauna ca' ye Francie now, I am +thinking"---- + +"Call me what you please, good dame," said the stranger; "it has been so +long since I heard any one call me by a name that sounded like former +kindness, that such a one is more agreeable to me than a lord's title +would be." + +"Weel, then, Maister Francie--if it be no offence to you--I hope ye are +no a Nabob?" + +"Not I, I can safely assure you, my old friend;--but what an I were?" + +"Naething--only maybe I might bid ye gang farther, and be waur +served.--Nabobs, indeed! the country's plagued wi' them. They have +raised the price of eggs and pootry for twenty miles round--But what is +my business?--They use amaist a' of them the Well down by--they need it, +ye ken, for the clearing of their copper complexions, that need scouring +as much as my saucepans, that naebody can clean but mysell." + +"Well, my good friend," said Tyrrel, "the upshot of all this is, I hope, +that I am to stay and have dinner here?" + +"What for no?" replied Mrs. Dods. + +"And that I am to have the Blue room for a night or two--perhaps +longer?" + +"I dinna ken that," said the dame.--"The Blue room is the best--and they +that get neist best, are no ill aff in this warld." + +"Arrange it as you will," said the stranger, "I leave the whole matter +to you, mistress.--Meantime, I will go see after my horse." + +"The merciful man," said Meg, when her guest had left the kitchen, "is +merciful to his beast.--He had aye something about him by ordinar, that +callant--But eh, sirs! there is a sair change on his cheek-haffit since +I saw him last!--He sall no want a good dinner for auld lang syne, that +I'se engage for." + +Meg set about the necessary preparations with all the natural energy of +her disposition, which was so much exerted upon her culinary cares, that +her two maids, on their return to the house, escaped the bitter +reprimand which she had been previously conning over, in reward for +their alleged slatternly negligence. Nay, so far did she carry her +complaisance, that when Tyrrel crossed the kitchen to recover his +saddle-bags, she formally rebuked Eppie for an idle taupie, for not +carrying the gentleman's things to his room. + +"I thank you, mistress," said Tyrrel; "but I have some drawings and +colours in these saddle-bags, and I always like to carry them myself." + +"Ay, and are you at the painting trade yet?" said Meg; "an unco slaister +ye used to make with it lang syne." + +"I cannot live without it," said Tyrrel; and taking the saddle-bags, was +formally inducted by the maid into a snug apartment, where he soon had +the satisfaction to behold a capital dish of minced collops, with +vegetables, and a jug of excellent ale, placed on the table by the +careful hand of Meg herself. He could do no less, in acknowledgment of +the honour, than ask Meg for a bottle of the yellow seal, "if there was +any of that excellent claret still left." + +"Left?--ay is there, walth of it," said Meg; "I dinna gie it to every +body--Ah! Maister Tirl, ye have not got ower your auld tricks!--I am +sure, if ye are painting for your leeving, as you say, a little rum and +water would come cheaper, and do ye as much good. But ye maun hae your +ain way the day, nae doubt, if ye should never have it again." + +Away trudged Meg, her keys clattering as she went, and, after much +rummaging, returned with such a bottle of claret as no fashionable +tavern could have produced, were it called for by a duke, or at a duke's +price; and she seemed not a little gratified when her guest assured her +that he had not yet forgotten its excellent flavour. She retired after +these acts of hospitality, and left the stranger to enjoy in quiet the +excellent matters which she had placed before him. + +But there was that on Tyrrel's mind which defied the enlivening power of +good cheer and of wine, which only maketh man's heart glad when that +heart has no secret oppression to counteract its influence. Tyrrel found +himself on a spot which he had loved in that delightful season, when +youth and high spirits awaken all those flattering promises which are so +ill kept to manhood. He drew his chair into the embrasure of the +old-fashioned window, and throwing up the sash to enjoy the fresh air, +suffered his thoughts to return to former days, while his eyes wandered +over objects which they had not looked upon for several eventful years. +He could behold beneath his eye, the lower part of the decayed village, +as its ruins peeped from the umbrageous shelter with which they were +shrouded. Still lower down, upon the little holm which formed its +church-yard, was seen the Kirk of Saint Ronan's; and looking yet +farther, towards the junction of Saint Ronan's burn with the river which +traversed the larger dale or valley, he could see whitened, by the +western sun, the rising houses, which were either newly finished, or in +the act of being built, about the medicinal spring. + +"Time changes all around us," such was the course of natural though +trite reflection, which flowed upon Tyrrel's mind; "wherefore should +loves and friendships have a longer date than our dwellings and our +monuments?" As he indulged these sombre recollections, his officious +landlady disturbed their tenor by her entrance. + +"I was thinking to offer you a dish of tea, Maister Francie, just for +the sake of auld lang syne, and I'll gar the quean Beenie bring it +here, and mask it mysell.--But ye arena done with your wine yet?" + +"I am indeed, Mrs. Dods," answered Tyrrel; "and I beg you will remove +the bottle." + +"Remove the bottle, and the wine no half drank out!" said Meg, +displeasure lowering on her brow; "I hope there is nae fault to be found +wi' the wine, Maister Tirl?" + +To this answer, which was put in a tone resembling defiance, Tyrrel +submissively replied, by declaring "the claret not only unexceptionable, +but excellent." + +"And what for dinna ye drink it, then?" said Meg, sharply; "folk should +never ask for mair liquor than they can make a gude use of. Maybe ye +think we have the fashion of the table-dot, as they ca' their newfangled +ordinary down-by yonder, where a' the bits of vinegar cruets are put awa +into an awmry, as they tell me, and ilk ane wi' the bit dribbles of +syndings in it, and a paper about the neck o't, to show which of the +customers is aught it--there they stand like doctor's drogs--and no an +honest Scottish mutchkin will ane o' their viols haud, granting it were +at the fouest." + +"Perhaps," said Tyrrel, willing to indulge the spleen and prejudice of +his old acquaintance, "perhaps the wine is not so good as to make full +measure desirable." + +"Ye may say that, lad--and yet them that sell it might afford a gude +penniworth, for they hae it for the making--maist feck of it ne'er saw +France or Portugal. But as I was saying--this is no ane of their +newfangled places, where wine is put by for them that canna drink +it--when the cork's drawn the bottle maun be drank out--and what for +no?--unless it be corkit." + +"I agree entirely, Meg," said her guest; "but my ride to-day has +somewhat heated me--and I think the dish of tea you promise me, will do +me more good than to finish my bottle." + +"Na, then, the best I can do for you is to put it by, to be sauce for +the wild-duck the morn; for I think ye said ye were to bide here for a +day or twa." + +"It is my very purpose, Meg, unquestionably," replied Tyrrel. + +"Sae be it then," said Mrs. Dods; "and then the liquor's no lost--it has +been seldom sic claret as that has simmered in a saucepan, let me tell +you that, neighbour;--and I mind the day, when, headache or nae +headache, ye wad hae been at the hinder-end of that bottle, and maybe +anither, if ye could have gotten it wiled out of me. But then ye had +your cousin to help you--Ah! he was a blithe bairn that Valentine +Bulmer!--Ye were a canty callant too, Maister Francie, and muckle ado I +had to keep ye baith in order when ye were on the ramble. But ye were a +thought doucer than Valentine--But O! he was a bonny laddie!--wi' e'en +like diamonds, cheeks like roses, a head like a heather-tap--he was the +first I ever saw wear a crap, as they ca' it, but a' body cheats the +barber now--and he had a laugh that wad hae raised the dead!--What wi' +flyting on him, and what wi' laughing at him, there was nae minding ony +other body when that Valentine was in the house.--And how is your cousin +Valentine Bulmer, Maister Francie?" + +Tyrrel looked down, and only answered with a sigh. + +"Ay--and is it even sae?" said Meg; "and has the puir bairn been sae +soon removed frae this fashious warld?--Ay--ay--we maun a' gang ae +gate--crackit quart stoups and geisen'd barrels--leaky quaighs are we +a', and canna keep in the liquor of life--Ohon, sirs!--Was the puir lad +Bulmer frae Bu'mer bay, where they land the Hollands, think ye, Maister +Francie?--They whiles rin in a pickle tea there too--I hope that is good +that I have made you, Maister Francie?" + +"Excellent, my good dame," said Tyrrel; but it was in a tone of voice +which intimated that she had pressed upon a subject that awakened some +unpleasant reflections. + +"And when did this puir lad die?" continued Meg, who was not without her +share of Eve's qualities, and wished to know something concerning what +seemed to affect her guest so particularly; but he disappointed her +purpose, and at the same time awakened another train of sentiment in her +mind, by turning again to the window, and looking upon the distant +buildings of Saint Ronan's Well. As if he had observed for the first +time these new objects, he said to Mistress Dods in an indifferent tone, +"You have got some gay new neighbours yonder, mistress." + +"Neighbours!" said Meg, her wrath beginning to arise, as it always did +upon any allusion to this sore subject--"Ye may ca' them neighbours, if +ye like--but the deil flee awa wi' the neighbourhood for Meg Dods!" + +"I suppose," said Tyrrel, as if he did not observe her displeasure, +"that yonder is the Fox Hotel they told me of?" + +"The Fox!" said Meg: "I am sure it is the fox that has carried off a' my +geese.--I might shut up house, Maister Francie, if it was the thing I +lived by--me, that has seen a' our gentlefolk bairns, and gien them +snaps and sugar-biscuit maist of them wi' my ain hand! They wad hae seen +my father's roof-tree fa' down and smoor me before they wad hae gien a +boddle a-piece to have propped it up--but they could a' link out their +fifty pounds ower head to bigg a hottle at the Well yonder. And muckle +they hae made o't--the bankrupt body, Sandie Lawson, hasna paid them a +bawbee of four terms' rent." + +"Surely, mistress, I think if the Well became so famous for its cures, +the least the gentlemen could have done was to make you the priestess." + +"Me priestess! I am nae Quaker, I wot, Maister Francie; and I never +heard of alewife that turned preacher, except Luckie Buchan in the +west.[I-8] And if I were to preach, I think I have mair the spirit of a +Scottishwoman, than to preach in the very room they hae been dancing in +ilka night in the week, Saturday itsell not excepted, and that till twal +o'clock at night. Na, na, Maister Francie; I leave the like o' that to +Mr. Simon Chatterly, as they ca' the bit prelatical sprig of divinity +from the town yonder, that plays at cards, and dances six days in the +week, and on the seventh reads the Common Prayer-book in the ball-room, +with Tam Simson, the drunken barber, for his clerk." + +"I think I have heard of Mr. Chatterly," said Tyrrel. + +"Ye'll be thinking o' the sermon he has printed," said the angry dame, +"where he compares their nasty puddle of a Well yonder to the pool of +Bethseda, like a foul-mouthed, fleeching, feather-headed fule as he is! +He should hae kend that the place got a' its fame in the times of black +Popery; and though they pat it in St. Ronan's name, I'll never believe +for one that the honest man had ony hand in it; for I hae been tell'd by +ane that suld ken, that he was nae Roman, but only a Cuddie, or +Culdee,[I-C] or such like.--But will ye not take anither dish of tea, +Maister Francie? and a wee bit of the diet-loaf, raised wi' my ain fresh +butter, Maister Francie? and no wi' greasy kitchen-fee, like the +seedcake down at the confectioner's yonder, that has as mony dead flees +as carvy in it. Set him up for a confectioner!--Wi' a penniworth of +rye-meal, and anither of tryacle, and twa or three carvy-seeds, I will +make better confections than ever cam out of his oven." + +"I have no doubt of that, Mrs. Dods," said the guest; "and I only wish +to know how these new comers were able to establish themselves against a +house of such good reputation and old standing as yours?--It was the +virtues of the mineral, I dare say; but how came the waters to recover a +character all at once, mistress?" + +"I dinna ken, sir--they used to be thought good for naething, but here +and there for a puir body's bairn, that had gotten the cruells,[I-9] and +could not afford a penniworth of salts. But my Leddy Penelope Penfeather +had fa'an ill, it's like, as nae other body ever fell ill, and sae she +was to be cured some gate naebody was ever cured, which was naething +mair than was reasonable--and my leddy, ye ken, has wit at wull, and has +a' the wise folk out from Edinburgh at her house at Windywa's yonder, +which it is her leddyship's wull and pleasure to call Air-castle--and +they have a' their different turns, and some can clink verses, wi' their +tale, as weel as Rob Burns or Allan Ramsay--and some rin up hill and +down dale, knapping the chucky stanes to pieces wi' hammers, like sae +mony road-makers run daft--they say it is to see how the warld was +made!--and some that play on all manner of ten-stringed instruments--and +a wheen sketching souls, that ye may see perched like craws on every +craig in the country, e'en working at your ain trade, Maister Francie; +forby men that had been in foreign parts, or said they had been there, +whilk is a' ane, ye ken; and maybe twa or three draggletailed misses, +that wear my Leddy Penelope's follies when she has dune wi' them, as her +queans of maids wear her second-hand claithes. So, after her leddyship's +happy recovery, as they ca'd it, down cam the hail tribe of wild-geese, +and settled by the Well, to dine thereout on the bare grund, like a +wheen tinklers; and they had sangs, and tunes, and healths, nae doubt, +in praise of the fountain, as they ca'd the Well, and of Leddy Penelope +Penfeather; and, lastly, they behoved a' to take a solemn bumper of the +spring, which, as I'm tauld, made unco havoc amang them or they wan +hame; and this they ca'd picknick, and a plague to them! And sae the jig +was begun after her leddyship's pipe, and mony a mad measure has been +danced sin' syne; for down cam masons and murgeon-makers, and preachers +and player-folk, and Episcopalians and Methodists, and fools and +fiddlers, and Papists and pie-bakers, and doctors and drugsters; by the +shop-folk, that sell trash and trumpery at three prices--and so up got +the bonny new Well, and down fell the honest auld town of Saint Ronan's, +where blithe decent folk had been heartsome eneugh for mony a day before +ony o' them were born, or ony sic vapouring fancies kittled in their +cracked brains." + +"What said your landlord, the Laird of Saint Ronan's, to all this?" said +Tyrrel. + +"Is't _my_ landlord ye are asking after, Maister Francie?--the Laird of +Saint Ronan's is nae landlord of mine, and I think ye might hae minded +that.--Na, na, thanks be to Praise! Meg Dods is baith land_lord_ and +land_leddy_. Ill eneugh to keep the doors open as it is, let be facing +Whitsunday and Martinmas--an auld leather pock there is, Maister +Francie, in ane of worthy Maister Bindloose the sheriff-clerk's +pigeon-holes, in his dowcot of a closet in the burgh; and therein is +baith charter and sasine, and special service to boot; and that will be +chapter and verse, speer when ye list." + +"I had quite forgotten," said Tyrrel, "that the inn was your own; though +I remember you were a considerable landed proprietor." + +"Maybe I am," replied Meg, "maybe I am not: and if I be, what for +no?--But as to what the Laird, whose grandfather was my father's +landlord, said to the new doings yonder--he just jumped at the ready +penny, like a cock at a grosert, and feu'd the bonny holm beside the +Well, that they ca'd the Saint-Well-holm, that was like the best land in +his aught, to be carved, and biggit, and howkit up, just at the pleasure +of Jock Ashler the stane-mason, that ca's himsell an arkiteck--there's +nae living for new words in this new warld neither, and that is another +vex to auld folk such as me.--It's a shame o' the young Laird, to let +his auld patrimony gang the gate it's like to gang, and my heart is sair +to see't, though it has but little cause to care what comes of him or +his." + +"Is it the same Mr. Mowbray," said Mr. Tyrrel, "who still holds the +estate?--the old gentleman, you know, whom I had some dispute with"---- + +"About hunting moorfowl upon the Spring-well-head muirs?" said Meg. "Ah, +lad! honest Mr. Bindloose brought you neatly off there--Na, it's no that +honest man, but his son John Mowbray--the t'other has slept down-by in +Saint Ronan's Kirk for these six or seven years." + +"Did he leave," asked Tyrrel, with something of a faltering voice, "no +other child than the present Laird?" + +"No other son," said Meg; "and there's e'en eneugh, unless he could have +left a better ane." + +"He died then," said Tyrrel, "excepting this son, without children?" + +"By your leave, no," said Meg; "there is the lassie Miss Clara, that +keeps house for the Laird, if it can be ca'd keeping house, for he is +almost aye down at the Well yonder--so a sma' kitchen serves them at the +Shaws." + +"Miss Clara will have but a dull time of it there during her brother's +absence?" said the stranger. + +"Out no!--he has her aften jinketing about, and back and forward, wi' a' +the fine flichtering fools that come yonder; and clapping palms wi' +them, and linking at their dances and daffings. I wuss nae ill come o't, +but it's a shame her father's daughter should keep company wi' a' that +scauff and raff of physic-students, and writers' prentices, and bagmen, +and siclike trash as are down at the Well yonder." + +"You are severe, Mrs. Dods," replied the guest. "No doubt Miss Clara's +conduct deserves all sort of freedom." + +"I am saying naething against her conduct," said the dame; "and there's +nae ground to say onything that I ken of--But I wad hae like draw to +like, Maister Francie. I never quarrelled the ball that the gentry used +to hae at my bit house a gude wheen years bygane--when they came, the +auld folk in their coaches, wi' lang-tailed black horses, and a wheen +galliard gallants on their hunting horses, and mony a decent leddy +behind her ain goodman, and mony a bonny smirking lassie on her pownie, +and wha sae happy as they--And what for no? And then there was the +farmers' ball, wi' the tight lads of yeomen with the bran new blues and +the buckskins--These were decent meetings--but then they were a' ae +man's bairns that were at them, ilk ane kend ilk other--they danced +farmers wi' farmers' daughters, at the tane, and gentles wi' gentle +blood, at the t'other, unless maybe when some of the gentlemen of the +Killnakelty Club would gie me a round of the floor mysell, in the way of +daffing and fun, and me no able to flyte on them for laughing--I am sure +I never grudged these innocent pleasures, although it has cost me maybe +a week's redding up, before I got the better of the confusion." + +"But, dame," said Tyrrel, "this ceremonial would be a little hard upon +strangers like myself, for how were we to find partners in these family +parties of yours?" + +"Never you fash your thumb about that, Maister Francie," returned the +landlady, with a knowing wink.--"Every Jack will find a Jill, gang the +world as it may--and, at the warst o't, better hae some fashery in +finding a partner for the night, than get yoked with ane that you may +not be able to shake off the morn." + +"And does that sometimes happen?" asked the stranger. + +"Happen!--and is't amang the Well folk that ye mean?" exclaimed the +hostess. "Was it not the last season, as they ca't, no farther gane, +that young Sir Bingo Binks, the English lad wi' the red coat, that keeps +a mail-coach, and drives it himsell, gat cleekit with Miss Rachel +Bonnyrigg, the auld Leddy Loupengirth's lang-legged daughter--and they +danced sae lang thegither, that there was mair said than suld hae been +said about it--and the lad would fain hae louped back, but the auld +leddy held him to his tackle, and the Commissary Court and somebody else +made her Leddy Binks in spite of Sir Bingo's heart--and he has never +daured take her to his friends in England, but they have just wintered +and summered it at the Well ever since--and that is what the Well is +good for!" + +"And does Clara,--I mean does Miss Mowbray, keep company with such women +as these?" said Tyrrel, with a tone of interest which he checked as he +proceeded with the question. + +"What can she do, puir thing?" said the dame. "She maun keep the company +that her brother keeps, for she is clearly dependent.--But, speaking of +that, I ken what I have to do, and that is no little, before it darkens. +I have sat clavering with you ower lang, Maister Francie." + +And away she marched with a resolved step, and soon the clear octaves of +her voice were heard in shrill admonition to her handmaidens. + +Tyrrel paused a moment in deep thought, then took his hat, paid a visit +to the stable, where his horse saluted him with feathering ears, and +that low amicable neigh, with which that animal acknowledges the +approach of a loving and beloved friend. Having seen that the faithful +creature was in every respect attended to, Tyrrel availed himself of the +continued and lingering twilight, to visit the old Castle, which, upon +former occasions, had been his favourite evening walk. He remained while +the light permitted, admiring the prospect we attempted to describe in +the first chapter, and comparing, as in his former reverie, the faded +hues of the glimmering landscape to those of human life, when early +youth and hope have ceased to gild them. + +A brisk walk to the inn, and a light supper on a Welsh rabbit and the +dame's home-brewed, were stimulants of livelier, at least more resigned +thoughts--and the Blue bedroom, to the honours of which he had been +promoted, received him a contented, if not a cheerful tenant. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-8] The foundress of a sect called Buchanites; a species of Joanna +Southcote, who long after death was expected to return and head her +disciples on the road to Jerusalem. + +[I-9] _Escrouelles_, King's Evil. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +ADMINISTRATION. + + There must be government in all society-- + Bees have their Queen, and stag-herds have their leader; + Rome had her Consuls, Athens had her Archons, + And we, sir, have our Managing Committee. + +_The Album of St. Ronan's._ + + +Francis Tyrrel was, in the course of the next day, formally settled in +his old quarters, where he announced his purpose of remaining for +several days. The old-established carrier of the place brought his +fishing-rod and travelling-trunk, with a letter to Meg, dated a week +previously, desiring her to prepare to receive an old acquaintance. This +annunciation, though something of the latest, Meg received with great +complacency, observing it was a civil attention in Maister Tirl; and +that John Hislop, though he was not just sae fast, was far surer than +ony post of them a', or express either. She also observed with +satisfaction, that there was no gun-case along with her guest's baggage; +"for that weary gunning had brought him and her into trouble--the lairds +had cried out upon't, as if she made her house a howff for common +fowlers and poachers; and yet how could she hinder twa daft hempie +callants from taking a start and an ower-loup?[I-10] They had been ower +the neighbour's ground they had leave on up to the march, and they +werena just to ken meiths when the moorfowl got up." + +In a day or two, her guest fell into such quiet and solitary habits, +that Meg, herself the most restless and bustling of human creatures, +began to be vexed, for want of the trouble which she expected to have +had with him, experiencing, perhaps, the same sort of feeling from his +extreme and passive indifference on all points, that a good horseman has +for the over-patient steed, which he can scarce feel under him. His +walks were devoted to the most solitary recesses among the neighbouring +woods and hills--his fishing-rod was often left behind him, or carried +merely as an apology for sauntering slowly by the banks of some little +brooklet--and his success so indifferent, that Meg said the piper of +Peebles[I-11] would have caught a creelfu' before Maister Francie made out +the half-dozen; so that he was obliged, for peace's sake, to vindicate +his character, by killing a handsome salmon. + +Tyrrel's painting, as Meg called it, went on equally slowly: He often, +indeed, showed her the sketches which he brought from his walks, and +used to finish at home; but Meg held them very cheap. What signified, +she said, a wheen bits of paper, wi' black and white scarts upon them, +that he ca'd bushes, and trees, and craigs?--Couldna he paint them wi' +green, and blue, and yellow, like the other folk? "Ye will never mak +your bread that way, Maister Francie. Ye suld munt up a muckle square of +canvass, like Dick Tinto, and paint folks ainsells, that they like +muckle better to see than ony craig in the haill water; and I wadna +muckle objeck even to some of the Wallers coming up and sitting to ye. +They waste their time waur, I wis--and, I warrant, ye might make a +guinea a-head of them. Dick made twa, but he was an auld used hand, and +folk maun creep before they gang." + +In answer to these remonstrances, Tyrrel assured her, that the sketches +with which he busied himself were held of such considerable value, that +very often an artist in that line received much higher remuneration for +these, than for portraits or coloured drawings. He added, that they were +often taken for the purpose of illustrating popular poems, and hinted as +if he himself were engaged in some labour of that nature. + +Eagerly did Meg long to pour forth to Nelly Trotter, the +fishwoman,--whose cart formed the only neutral channel of communication +between the Auld Town and the Well, and who was in favour with Meg, +because, as Nelly passed her door in her way to the Well, she always had +the first choice of her fish,--the merits of her lodger as an artist. +Luckie Dods had, in truth, been so much annoyed and bullied, as it were, +with the report of clever persons, accomplished in all sorts of +excellence, arriving day after day at the Hotel, that she was overjoyed +in this fortunate opportunity to triumph over them in their own way; and +it may be believed, that the excellences of her lodger lost nothing by +being trumpeted through her mouth. + +"I maun hae the best of the cart, Nelly--if you and me can gree--for it +is for ane of the best of painters. Your fine folk down yonder would gie +their lugs to look at what he has been doing--he gets gowd in goupins, +for three downright skarts and three cross anes--And he is no an +ungrateful loon, like Dick Tinto, that had nae sooner my good +five-and-twenty shillings in his pocket, than he gaed down to birl it +awa at their bonny hottle yonder, but a decent quiet lad, that kens when +he is weel aff, and bides still at the auld howff--And what for +no?--Tell them all this, and hear what they will say till't." + +"Indeed, mistress, I can tell ye that already, without stirring my +shanks for the matter," answered Nelly Trotter; "they will e'en say that +ye are ae auld fule, and me anither, that may hae some judgment in +cock-bree or in scate-rumples, but mauna fash our beards about ony thing +else." + +"Wad they say sae, the frontless villains! and me been a housekeeper +this thirty year!" exclaimed Meg; "I wadna hae them say it to my face! +But I am no speaking without warrant--for what an I had spoken to the +minister, lass, and shown him ane of the loose skarts of paper that +Maister Tirl leaves fleeing about his room?--and what an he had said he +had kend Lord Bidmore gie five guineas for the waur on't? and a' the +warld kens he was lang tutor in the Bidmore family." + +"Troth," answered her gossip, "I doubt if I was to tell a' this they +would hardly believe me, mistress; for there are sae mony judges amang +them, and they think sae muckle of themsells, and sae little of other +folk, that unless ye were to send down the bit picture, I am no thinking +they will believe a word that I can tell them." + +"No believe what an honest woman says--let abee to say twa o' them?" +exclaimed Meg; "O the unbelieving generation!--Weel, Nelly, since my +back is up, ye sall tak down the picture, or sketching, or whatever it +is, (though I thought sketchers[I-12] were aye made of airn,) and shame +wi' it the conceited crew that they are.--But see and bring't back wi' +ye again, Nelly, for it's a thing of value; and trustna it out o' your +hand, _that_ I charge you, for I lippen no muckle to their +honesty.--And, Nelly, ye may tell them he has an illustrated +poem--_illustrated_--mind the word, Nelly--that is to be stuck as fou o' +the like o' that, as ever turkey was larded wi' dabs o' bacon." + +Thus furnished with her credentials, and acting the part of a herald +betwixt two hostile countries, honest Nelly switched her little +fish-cart downwards to St. Ronan's Well. + +In watering-places, as in other congregated assemblies of the human +species, various kinds of government have been dictated, by chance, +caprice, or convenience; but in almost all of them, some sort of +direction has been adopted, to prevent the consequences of anarchy. +Sometimes the sole power has been vested in a Master of Ceremonies; but +this, like other despotisms, has been of late unfashionable, and the +powers of this great officer have been much limited even at Bath, where +Nash once ruled with undisputed supremacy. Committees of management, +chosen from among the most steady guests, have been in general resorted +to, as a more liberal mode of sway, and to such was confided the +administration of the infant republic of St. Ronan's Well. This little +senate, it must be observed, had the more difficult task in discharging +their high duties, that, like those of other republics, their subjects +were divided into two jarring and contending factions, who every day +eat, drank, danced, and made merry together, hating each other all the +while with all the animosity of political party, endeavouring by every +art to secure the adherence of each guest who arrived, and ridiculing +the absurdities and follies of each other, with all the wit and +bitterness of which they were masters. + +At the head of one of these parties was no less a personage than Lady +Penelope Penfeather, to whom the establishment owed its fame, nay, its +existence; and whose influence could only have been balanced by that of +the Lord of the Manor, Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, or, as he was called +usually by the company who affected what Meg called knapping English, +The Squire, who was leader of the opposite faction. + +The rank and fortune of the lady, her pretensions to beauty as well as +talent, (though the former was something faded,) and the consequence +which she arrogated to herself as a woman of fashion, drew round her +painters and poets, and philosophers, and men of science, and lecturers, +and foreign adventurers, _et hoc genus omne_. + +On the contrary, the Squire's influence, as a man of family and property +in the immediate neighbourhood, who actually kept greyhounds and +pointers, and at least talked of hunters and of racers, ascertained him +the support of the whole class of bucks, half and whole bred, from the +three next counties; and if more inducements were wanting, he could +grant his favourites the privilege of shooting over his moors, which is +enough to turn the head of a young Scottishman at any time. Mr. Mowbray +was of late especially supported in his pre-eminence, by a close +alliance with Sir Bingo Binks, a sapient English Baronet, who, ashamed, +as many thought, to return to his own country, had set him down at the +Well of St. Ronan's, to enjoy the blessing which the Caledonian Hymen +had so kindly forced on him in the person of Miss Rachel Bonnyrigg. As +this gentleman actually drove a regular-built mail-coach, not in any +respect differing from that of his Majesty, only that it was more +frequently overturned, his influence with a certain set was +irresistible, and the Squire of St. Ronan's, having the better sense of +the two, contrived to reap the full benefit of the consequence attached +to his friendship. + +These two contending parties were so equally balanced, that the +predominance of the influence of either was often determined by the +course of the sun. Thus, in the morning and forenoon, when Lady Penelope +led forth her herd to lawn and shady bower, whether to visit some ruined +monument of ancient times, or eat their pic-nic luncheon, to spoil good +paper with bad drawings, and good verses with repetition--in a word, + + "To rave, recite, and madden round the land," + +her ladyship's empire over the loungers seemed uncontrolled and +absolute, and all things were engaged in the _tourbillon_, of which she +formed the pivot and centre. Even the hunters, and shooters, and hard +drinkers, were sometimes fain reluctantly to follow in her train, +sulking, and quizzing, and flouting at her solemn festivals, besides +encouraging the younger nymphs to giggle when they should have looked +sentimental. But after dinner the scene was changed, and her ladyship's +sweetest smiles, and softest invitations, were often insufficient to +draw the neutral part of the company to the tea-room; so that her +society was reduced to those whose constitution or finances rendered +early retirement from the dining-parlour a matter of convenience, +together with the more devoted and zealous of her own immediate +dependents and adherents. Even the faith of the latter was apt to be +debauched. Her ladyship's poet-laureate, in whose behalf she was teazing +each new-comer for subscriptions, got sufficiently independent to sing +in her ladyship's presence, at supper, a song of rather equivocal +meaning; and her chief painter, who was employed upon an illustrated +copy of the Loves of the Plants, was, at another time, seduced into such +a state of pot-valour, that, upon her ladyship's administering her usual +dose of criticism upon his works, he not only bluntly disputed her +judgment, but talked something of his right to be treated like a +gentleman. + +These feuds were taken up by the Managing Committee, who interceded for +the penitent offenders on the following morning, and obtained their +re-establishment in Lady Penelope's good graces, upon moderate terms. +Many other acts of moderating authority they performed, much to the +assuaging of faction, and the quiet of the Wellers; and so essential was +their government to the prosperity of the place, that, without them, St. +Ronan's spring would probably have been speedily deserted. We must, +therefore, give a brief sketch of that potential Committee, which both +factions, acting as if on a self-denying ordinance, had combined to +invest with the reins of government. + +Each of its members appeared to be selected, as Fortunio, in the +fairy-tale,[I-D] chose his followers, for his peculiar gifts. First on the +list stood the MAN OF MEDICINE, Dr. Quentin Quackleben, who claimed +right to regulate medical matters at the spring, upon the principle +which, of old, assigned the property of a newly discovered country to +the bucanier who committed the earliest piracy on its shores. The +acknowledgment of the Doctor's merit as having been first to proclaim +and vindicate the merits of these healing fountains, had occasioned his +being universally installed First Physician and Man of Science, which +last qualification he could apply to all purposes, from the boiling of +an egg to the giving a lecture. He was, indeed, qualified, like many of +his profession, to spread both the bane and antidote before a dyspeptic +patient, being as knowing a gastronome as Dr. Redgill himself, or any +other worthy physician who has written for the benefit of the _cuisine_, +from Dr. Moncrieff of Tippermalloch, to the late Dr. Hunter of York, and +the present Dr. Kitchiner of London. But pluralities are always +invidious, and therefore the Doctor prudently relinquished the office of +caterer and head-carver to the Man of Taste, who occupied regularly, and +_ex officio_, the head of the table, reserving to himself the occasional +privilege of criticising, and a principal share in consuming, the good +things which the common entertainment afforded. We have only to sum up +this brief account of the learned Doctor, by informing the reader that +he was a tall, lean, beetle-browed man, with an ill-made black +scratch-wig, that stared out on either side from his lantern jaws. He +resided nine months out of the twelve at St. Ronan's, and was supposed +to make an indifferent good thing of it,--especially as he played whist +to admiration. + +First in place, though perhaps second to the Doctor in real authority, +was Mr. Winterblossom; a civil sort of person, who was nicely precise in +his address, wore his hair cued, and dressed with powder, had +knee-buckles set with Bristol stones, and a seal-ring as large as Sir +John Falstaff's. In his heyday he had a small estate, which he had spent +like a gentleman, by mixing with the gay world. He was, in short, one of +those respectable links that connect the coxcombs of the present day +with those of the last age, and could compare, in his own experience, +the follies of both. In latter days, he had sense enough to extricate +himself from his course of dissipation, though with impaired health and +impoverished fortune. + +Mr. Winterblossom now lived upon a moderate annuity, and had discovered +a way of reconciling his economy with much company and made dishes, by +acting as perpetual president of the table-d'hote at the Well. Here he +used to amuse the society by telling stories about Garrick, Foote, +Bonnel Thornton, and Lord Kelly, and delivering his opinions in matters +of taste and vertu. An excellent carver, he knew how to help each guest +to what was precisely his due; and never failed to reserve a proper +slice as the reward of his own labours. To conclude, he was possessed of +some taste in the fine arts, at least in painting and music, although it +was rather of the technical kind, than that which warms the heart and +elevates the feelings. There was, indeed, about Winterblossom, nothing +that was either warm or elevated. He was shrewd, selfish, and sensual; +the last two of which qualities he screened from observation, under a +specious varnish of exterior complaisance. Therefore, in his professed +and apparent anxiety to do the honours of the table, to the most +punctilious point of good breeding, he never permitted the attendants +upon the public taste to supply the wants of others, until all his own +private comforts had been fully arranged and provided for. + +Mr. Winterblossom was also distinguished for possessing a few curious +engravings, and other specimens of art, with the exhibition of which he +occasionally beguiled a wet morning at the public room. They were +collected, "_viis et modis_," said the Man of Law, another distinguished +member of the Committee, with a knowing cock of his eye to his next +neighbour. + +Of this person little need be said. He was a large-boned, loud-voiced, +red-faced man, named Meiklewham; a country writer, or attorney, who +managed the matters of the Squire much to the profit of one or +other,--if not of both. His nose projected from the front of his broad +vulgar face, like the stile of an old sun-dial, twisted all of one side. +He was as great a bully in his profession, as if it had been military +instead of civil: conducted the whole technicalities concerning the +cutting up the Saint's-Well-haugh, so much lamented by Dame Dods, into +building-stances, and was on excellent terms with Doctor Quackleben, who +always recommended him to make the wills of his patients. + +After the Man of Law comes Captain Mungo MacTurk, a Highland lieutenant +on half-pay, and that of ancient standing; one who preferred toddy of +the strongest to wine, and in that fashion and cold drams finished about +a bottle of whisky _per diem_, whenever he could come by it. He was +called the Man of Peace, on the same principle which assigns to +constables, Bow-street runners, and such like, who carry bludgeons to +break folk's heads, and are perpetually and officially employed in +scenes of riot, the title of peace-officers--that is, because by his +valour he compelled others to act with discretion. The Captain was the +general referee in all those abortive quarrels, which, at a place of +this kind, are so apt to occur at night, and to be quietly settled in +the morning; and occasionally adopted a quarrel himself, by way of +taking down any guest who was unusually pugnacious. This occupation +procured Captain MacTurk a good deal of respect at the Well; for he was +precisely that sort of person who is ready to fight with any one,--whom +no one can find an apology for declining to fight with,--in fighting +with whom considerable danger was incurred, for he was ever and anon +showing that he could snuff a candle with a pistol ball,--and lastly, +through fighting with whom no eclat or credit could redound to the +antagonist. He always wore a blue coat and red collar, had a +supercilious taciturnity of manner, ate sliced leeks with his cheese, +and resembled in complexion a Dutch red-herring. + +Still remains to be mentioned the Man of Religion--the gentle Mr. Simon +Chatterly, who had strayed to St. Ronan's Well from the banks of Cam or +Isis, and who piqued himself, first on his Greek, and secondly, on his +politeness to the ladies. During all the week days, as Dame Dods has +already hinted, this reverend gentleman was the partner at the +whist-table, or in the ball-room, to what maid or matron soever lacked a +partner at either; and on the Sundays, he read prayers in the public +room to all who chose to attend. He was also a deviser of charades, and +an unriddler of riddles; he played a little on the flute, and was Mr. +Winterblossom's principal assistant in contriving those ingenious and +romantic paths, by which, as by the zig-zags which connect military +parallels, you were enabled to ascend to the top of the hill behind the +hotel, which commands so beautiful a prospect, at exactly that precise +angle of ascent, which entitles a gentleman to offer his arm, and a lady +to accept it, with perfect propriety. + +There was yet another member of this Select Committee, Mr. Michael +Meredith, who might be termed the Man of Mirth, or, if you please, the +Jack Pudding to the company, whose business it was to crack the best +joke, and sing the best song,--he could. Unluckily, however, this +functionary was for the present obliged to absent himself from St. +Ronan's; for, not recollecting that he did not actually wear the +privileged motley of his profession, he had passed some jest upon +Captain MacTurk, which cut so much to the quick, that Mr. Meredith was +fain to go to goat-whey quarters, at some ten miles' distance, and +remain there in a sort of concealment, until the affair should be made +up through the mediation of his brethren of the Committee. + +Such were the honest gentlemen who managed the affairs of this rising +settlement, with as much impartiality as could be expected. They were +not indeed without their own secret predilections; for the lawyer and +the soldier privately inclined to the party of the Squire, while the +parson, Mr. Meredith, and Mr. Winterblossom, were more devoted to the +interests of Lady Penelope; so that Doctor Quackleben alone, who +probably recollected that the gentlemen were as liable to stomach +complaints, as the ladies to nervous disorders, seemed the only person +who preserved in word and deed the most rigid neutrality. Nevertheless, +the interests of the establishment being very much at the heart of this +honourable council, and each feeling his own profit, pleasure, or +comfort, in some degree involved, they suffered not their private +affections to interfere with their public duties, but acted, every one +in his own sphere, for the public benefit of the whole community. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-10] The usual expression for a slight encroachment on a neighbour's +property. + +[I-11] The said piper was famous at the mystery. + +[I-12] Skates are called sketchers in Scotland. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE INVITATION. + + Thus painters write their names at Co. + +PRIOR. + + +The clamour which attends the removal of dinner from a public room had +subsided; the clatter of plates, and knives and forks--the bustling +tread of awkward boobies of country servants, kicking each other's +shins, and wrangling, as they endeavour to rush out of the door three +abreast--the clash of glasses and tumblers, borne to earth in the +tumult--the shrieks of the landlady--the curses, not loud, but deep, of +the landlord--had all passed away; and those of the company who had +servants, had been accommodated by their respective Ganymedes with such +remnants of their respective bottles of wine, spirits, &c., as the said +Ganymedes had not previously consumed, while the rest, broken in to such +observance by Mr. Winterblossom, waited patiently until the worthy +president's own special and multifarious commissions had been executed +by a tidy young woman and a lumpish lad, the regular attendants +belonging to the house, but whom he permitted to wait on no one, till, +as the hymn says, + + "All his wants were well supplied." + +"And, Dinah--my bottle of pale sherry, Dinah--place it on this +side--there's a good girl;--and, Toby--get my jug with the hot +water--and let it be boiling--and don't spill it on Lady Penelope, if +you can help it, Toby." + +"No--for her ladyship has been in hot water to-day already," said the +Squire; a sarcasm to which Lady Penelope only replied with a look of +contempt. + +"And, Dinah, bring the sugar--the soft East India sugar, Dinah--and a +lemon, Dinah, one of those which came fresh to-day--Go fetch it from the +bar, Toby--and don't tumble down stairs, if you can help it.--And, +Dinah--stay, Dinah--the nutmeg, Dinah, and the ginger, my good +girl--And, Dinah--put the cushion up behind my back--and the footstool +to my foot, for my toe is something the worse of my walk with your +ladyship this morning to the top of Belvidere." + +"Her ladyship may call it what she pleases in common parlance," said the +writer; "but it must stand Munt-grunzie in the stamped paper, being so +nominated in the ancient writs and evidents thereof." + +"And, Dinah," continued the president, "lift up my handkerchief--and--a +bit of biscuit, Dinah--and--and I do not think I want any thing +else--Look to the company, my good girl.--I have the honour to drink the +company's very good health--Will your ladyship honour me by accepting a +glass of negus?--I learned to make negus from old Dartineuf's son.--He +always used East India sugar and added a tamarind--it improves the +flavour infinitely.--Dinah, see your father sends for some +tamarinds--Dartineuf knew a good thing almost as well as his father--I +met him at Bath in the year--let me see--Garrick was just taking leave, +and that was in," &c. &c. &c.--"And what is this now, Dinah?" he said, +as she put into his hand a roll of paper. + +"Something that Nelly Trotter" (Trotting Nelly, as the company called +her) "brought from a sketching gentleman that lives at the woman's" +(thus bluntly did the upstart minx describe the reverend Mrs. Margaret +Dods) "at the Cleikum of Aultoun yonder"--A name, by the way, which the +inn had acquired from the use which the saint upon the sign-post was +making of his pastoral crook. + +"Indeed, Dinah?" said Mr. Winterblossom, gravely taking out his +spectacles, and wiping them before he opened the roll of paper; "some +boy's daubing, I suppose, whose pa and ma wish to get him into the +Trustees' School, and so are beating about for a little interest.--But I +am drained dry--I put three lads in last season; and if it had not been +my particular interest with the secretary, who asks my opinion now and +then, I could not have managed it. But giff-gaff, say I.--Eh! What, in +the devil's name, is this?--Here is both force and keeping--Who can this +be, my lady?--Do but see the sky-line--why, this is really a little +bit--an exquisite little bit--Who the devil can it be? and how can he +have stumbled upon the dog-hole in the Old Town, and the snarling b----I +beg your ladyship ten thousand pardons--that kennels there?" + +"I dare say, my lady," said a little miss of fourteen, her eyes growing +rounder and rounder, and her cheeks redder and redder, as she found +herself speaking, and so many folks listening--"O la! I dare say it is +the same gentleman we met one day in the Low-wood walk, that looked like +a gentleman, and yet was none of the company, and that you said was a +handsome man." + +"I did not say handsome, Maria," replied her ladyship; "ladies never say +men are handsome--I only said he looked genteel and interesting." + +"And that, my lady," said the young parson, bowing and smiling, "is, I +will be judged by the company, the more flattering compliment of the +two--We shall be jealous of this Unknown presently." + +"Nay, but," continued the sweetly communicative Maria, with some real +and some assumed simplicity, "your ladyship forgets--for you said +presently after, you were sure he was no gentleman, for he did not run +after you with your glove which you had dropped--and so I went back +myself to find your ladyship's glove, and he never offered to help me, +and I saw him closer than your ladyship did, and I am sure he is +handsome, though he is not very civil." + +"You speak a little too much and too loud, miss," said Lady Penelope, a +natural blush reinforcing the _nuance_ of rouge by which it was usually +superseded. + +"What say you to that, Squire Mowbray?" said the elegant Sir Bingo +Binks. + +"A fair challenge to the field, Sir Bingo," answered the squire; "when a +lady throws down the gauntlet, a gentleman may throw the handkerchief." + +"I have always the benefit of _your_ best construction, Mr. Mowbray," +said the lady, with dignity. "I suppose Miss Maria has contrived this +pretty story for your amusement. I can hardly answer to Mr. Digges, for +bringing her into company where she receives encouragement to behave +so." + +"Nay, nay, my lady," said the president, "you must let the jest pass by; +and since this is really such an admirable sketch, you must honour us +with your opinion, whether the company can consistently with propriety +make any advances to this man." + +"In my opinion," said her ladyship, the angry spot still glowing on her +brow, "there are enough of _men_ among us already--I wish I could say +gentlemen--As matters stand, I see little business _ladies_ can have at +St. Ronan's." + +This was an intimation which always brought the Squire back to +good-breeding, which he could make use of when he pleased. He deprecated +her ladyship's displeasure, until she told him, in returning good +humour, that she really would not trust him unless he brought his sister +to be security for his future politeness. + +"Clara, my lady," said Mowbray, "is a little wilful; and I believe your +ladyship must take the task of unharbouring her into your own hands. +What say you to a gipsy party up to my old shop?--It is a bachelor's +house--you must not expect things in much order; but Clara would be +honoured"---- + +The Lady Penelope eagerly accepted the proposal of something like a +party, and, quite reconciled with Mowbray, began to enquire whether she +might bring the stranger artist with her; "that is," said her ladyship, +looking to Dinah, "if he be a gentleman." + +Here Dinah interposed her assurance, "that the gentleman at Meg Dods's +was quite and clean a gentleman, and an illustrated poet besides." + +"An illustrated poet, Dinah?" said Lady Penelope; "you must mean an +illustrious poet." + +"I dare to say your ladyship is right," said Dinah, dropping a curtsy. + +A joyous flutter of impatient anxiety was instantly excited through all +the blue-stocking faction of the company, nor were the news totally +indifferent to the rest of the community. The former belonged to that +class, who, like the young Ascanius, are ever beating about in quest of +a tawny lion, though they are much more successful in now and then +starting a great bore;[I-13] and the others, having left all their own +ordinary affairs and subjects of interest at home, were glad to make a +matter of importance of the most trivial occurrence. A mighty poet, said +the former class--who could it possibly be?--All names were recited--all +Britain scrutinized, from Highland hills to the Lakes of +Cumberland--from Sydenham Common to St. James's Place--even the Banks of +the Bosphorus were explored for some name which might rank under this +distinguished epithet.--And then, besides his illustrious poesy, to +sketch so inimitably!--who _could_ it be? And all the gapers, who had +nothing of their own to suggest, answered with the antistrophe, "Who +could it be?" + +The Claret-Club, which comprised the choicest and firmest adherents of +Squire Mowbray and the Baronet--men who scorned that the reversion of +one bottle of wine should furnish forth the feast of to-morrow, though +caring nought about either of the fine arts in question, found out an +interest of their own, which centred in the same individual. + +"I say, little Sir Bingo," said the Squire, "this is the very fellow +that we saw down at the Willow-slack on Saturday--he was tog'd +gnostically enough, and cast twelve yards of line with one hand--the fly +fell like a thistledown on the water." + +"Uich!" answered the party he addressed, in the accents of a dog choking +in the collar. + +"We saw him pull out the salmon yonder," said Mowbray; "you +remember--clean fish--the tide-ticks on his gills--weighed, I dare say, +a matter of eighteen pounds." + +"Sixteen!" replied Sir Bingo, in the same tone of strangulation. + +"None of your rigs, Bing!" said his companion, "--nearer eighteen than +sixteen!" + +"Nearer sixteen, by ----!" + +"Will you go a dozen of blue on it to the company?" said the Squire. + +"No, d---- me!" croaked the Baronet--"to our own set I will." + +"Then, I say done!" quoth the Squire. + +And "Done!" responded the Knight; and out came their red pocketbooks. + +"But who shall decide the bet?" said the Squire, "The genius himself, I +suppose; they talk of asking him here, but I suppose he will scarce mind +quizzes like them." + +"Write myself--John Mowbray," said the Baronet. + +"You, Baronet!--you write!" answered the Squire, "d---- me, that cock +won't fight--you won't." + +"I will," growled Sir Bingo, more articulately than usual. + +"Why, you can't!" said Mowbray. "You never wrote a line in your life, +save those you were whipped for at school." + +"I can write--I will write!" said Sir Bingo. "Two to one I will." + +And there the affair rested, for the council of the company were in high +consultation concerning the most proper manner of opening a +communication with the mysterious stranger; and the voice of Mr. +Winterblossom, whose tones, originally fine, age had reduced to +falsetto, was calling upon the whole party for "Order, order!" So that +the bucks were obliged to lounge in silence, with both arms reclined on +the table, and testifying, by coughs and yawns, their indifference to +the matters in question, while the rest of the company debated upon +them, as if they were matters of life and death. + +"A visit from one of the gentlemen--Mr. Winterblossom, if he would take +the trouble--in name of the company at large--would, Lady Penelope +Penfeather presumed to think, be a necessary preliminary to an +invitation." + +Mr. Winterblossom was "quite of her ladyship's opinion, and would gladly +have been the personal representative of the company at St. Ronan's +Well--but it was up hill--her ladyship knew his tyrant, the gout, was +hovering upon the frontiers--there were other gentlemen, younger and +more worthy to fly at the lady's command than an ancient Vulcan like +him--there was the valiant Mars and the eloquent Mercury." + +Thus speaking, he bowed to Captain MacTurk and the Rev. Mr. Simon +Chatterly, and reclined on his chair, sipping his negus with the +self-satisfied smile of one, who, by a pretty speech, has rid himself +of a troublesome commission. At the same time, by an act probably of +mental absence, he put in his pocket the drawing, which, after +circulating around the table, had returned back to the chair of the +president, being the point from which it had set out. + +"By Cot, madam," said Captain MacTurk, "I should be proud to obey your +leddyship's commands--but, by Cot, I never call first on any man that +never called upon me at all, unless it were to carry him a friend's +message, or such like." + +"Twig the old connoisseur," said the Squire to the Knight.--"He is +condiddling the drawing." + +"Go it, Johnnie Mowbray--pour it into him," whispered Sir Bingo. + +"Thank ye for nothing, Sir Bingo," said the Squire, in the same tone. +"Winterblossom is one of us--_was_ one of us at least--and won't stand +the ironing. He has his Wogdens still, that were right things in his +day, and can hit the hay-stack with the best of us--but stay, they are +hallooing on the parson." + +They were indeed busied on all hands, to obtain Mr. Chatterly's consent +to wait on the Genius unknown; but though he smiled and simpered, and +was absolutely incapable of saying No, he begged leave, in all humility, +to decline that commission. "The truth was," he pleaded in his excuse, +"that having one day walked to visit the old Castle of St. Ronan's, and +returning through the Auld Town, as it was popularly called, he had +stopped at the door of the _Cleikum_," (pronounced _Anglice_, with the +open diphthong,) "in hopes to get a glass of syrup of capillaire, or a +draught of something cooling; and had in fact expressed his wishes, and +was knocking pretty loudly, when a sash-window was thrown suddenly up, +and ere he was aware what was about to happen, he was soused with a +deluge of water," (as he said,) "while the voice of an old hag from +within assured him, that if that did not cool him there was another +biding him,--an intimation which induced him to retreat in all haste +from the repetition of the shower-bath." + +All laughed at the account of the chaplain's misfortune, the history of +which seemed to be wrung from him reluctantly, by the necessity of +assigning some weighty cause for declining to execute the ladies' +commands. But the Squire and Baronet continued their mirth far longer +than decorum allowed, flinging themselves back in their chairs, with +their hands thrust into their side-pockets, and their mouths expanded +with unrestrained enjoyment, until the sufferer, angry, disconcerted, +and endeavouring to look scornful, incurred another general burst of +laughter on all hands. + +When Mr. Winterblossom had succeeded in restoring some degree of order, +he found the mishaps of the young divine proved as intimidating as +ludicrous. Not one of the company chose to go Envoy Extraordinary to the +dominions of Queen Meg, who might be suspected of paying little respect +to the sanctity of an ambassador's person. And what was worse, when it +was resolved that a civil card from Mr. Winterblossom, in the name of +the company, should be sent to the stranger, instead of a personal +visit, Dinah informed them that she was sure no one about the house +could be bribed to carry up a letter of the kind; for, when such an +event had taken place two summers since, Meg, who construed it into an +attempt to seduce from her tenement the invited guest, had so handled a +ploughboy who carried the letter, that he fled the country-side +altogether, and never thought himself safe till he was at a village ten +miles off, where it was afterwards learned he enlisted with a recruiting +party, choosing rather to face the French than to return within the +sphere of Meg's displeasure. + +Just while they were agitating this new difficulty, a prodigious clamour +was heard without, which, to the first apprehensions of the company, +seemed to be Meg, in all her terrors, come to anticipate the proposed +invasion. Upon enquiry, however, it proved to be her gossip, Trotting +Nelly, or Nelly Trotter, in the act of forcing her way up stairs, +against the united strength of the whole household of the hotel, to +reclaim Luckie Dods's picture, as she called it. This made the +connoisseur's treasure tremble in his pocket, who, thrusting a +half-crown into Toby's hand, exhorted him to give it her, and try his +influence in keeping her back. Toby, who knew Nelly's nature, put the +half-crown into his own pocket, and snatched up a gill-stoup of whisky +from the sideboard. Thus armed, he boldly confronted the virago, and +interposing a _remora_, which was able to check poor Nelly's course in +her most determined moods, not only succeeded in averting the immediate +storm which approached the company in general, and Mr. Winterblossom in +particular, but brought the guests the satisfactory information, that +Trotting Nelly had agreed, after she had slept out her nap in the barn, +to convey their commands to the Unknown of Cleikum of Aultoun. + +Mr. Winterblossom, therefore, having authenticated his proceedings, by +inserting in the Minutes of the Committee, the authority which he had +received, wrote his card in the best style of diplomacy, and sealed it +with the seal of the Spa, which bore something like a nymph, seated +beside what was designed to represent an urn. + +The rival factions, however, did not trust entirely to this official +invitation. Lady Penelope was of opinion that they should find some way +of letting the stranger--a man of talent unquestionably--understand that +there were in the society to which he was invited, spirits of a more +select sort, who felt worthy to intrude themselves on his solitude. + +Accordingly, her ladyship imposed upon the elegant Mr. Chatterly the +task of expressing the desire of the company to see the unknown artist, +in a neat occasional copy of verses. The poor gentleman's muse, however, +proved unpropitious; for he was able to proceed no farther than two +lines in half an hour, which, coupled with its variations, we insert +from the blotted manuscript, as Dr. Johnson has printed the alterations +in Pope's version of the Iliad: + + 1. _Maids._ 2. _Dames._ unity joining. + The [nymphs] of St. Ronan's [in purpose combining] + + 1. _Swain._ 2. _Man._ + To the [youth] who is great both in verse and designing, + ......... dining. + +The eloquence of a prose billet was necessarily resorted to in the +absence of the heavenly muse, and the said billet was secretly intrusted +to the care of Trotting Nelly. The same trusty emissary, when refreshed +by her nap among the pease-straw, and about to harness her cart for her +return to the seacoast, (in the course of which she was to pass the +Aultoun,) received another card, written, as he had threatened, by Sir +Bingo Binks himself, who had given himself this trouble to secure the +settlement of the bet; conjecturing that a man with a fashionable +exterior, who could throw twelve yards of line at a cast with such +precision, might consider the invitation of Winterblossom as that of an +old twaddler, and care as little for the good graces of an affected +blue-stocking and her _coterie_, whose conversation, in Sir Bingo's +mind, relished of nothing but of weak tea and bread and butter. Thus the +happy Mr. Francis Tyrrel received, considerably to his surprise, no less +than three invitations at once from the Well of St. Ronan's. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[I-13] The one or the other was equally _in votis_ to Ascanius,-- + + "Optat aprum, aut fulvum descendere monte leonem." + +Modern Trojans make a great distinction betwixt these two objects of +chase. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +EPISTOLARY ELOQUENCE. + + But how can I answer, since first I must read thee? + +PRIOR. + + +Desirous of authenticating our more important facts, by as many original +documents as possible, we have, after much research, enabled ourselves +to present the reader with the following accurate transcripts of the +notes intrusted to the care of Trotting Nelly. The first ran thus: + + "Mr. Winterblossom [of Silverhed] has the commands of Lady Penelope + Penfeather, Sir Bingo and Lady Binks, Mr. and Miss Mowbray [of St. + Ronan's], and the rest of the company at the Hotel and Tontine Inn + of St. Ronan's Well, to express their hope that the gentleman lodged + at the Cleikum Inn, Old Town of St. Ronan's, will favour them with + his company at the Ordinary, as early and as often as may suit his + convenience. The COMPANY think it necessary to send this intimation, + because, according to the RULES of the place, the Ordinary can only + be attended by such gentlemen and ladies as lodge at St. Ronan's + Well; but they are happy to make a distinction in favour of a + gentleman so distinguished for success in the fine arts as Mr. ---- + ----, residing at Cleikum. If Mr. ---- ---- should be inclined, upon + becoming further acquainted with the COMPANY and RULES of the + Place, to remove his residence to the Well, Mr. Winterblossom, + though he would not be understood to commit himself by a positive + assurance to that effect, is inclined to hope that an arrangement + might be made, notwithstanding the extreme crowd of the season, to + accommodate Mr. ---- ---- at the lodging-house, called + Lilliput-Hall. It will much conduce to facilitate this negotiation, + if Mr. ---- ---- would have the goodness to send an exact note of + his stature, as Captain Rannletree seems disposed to resign the + folding-bed at Lilliput-Hall, on account of his finding it rather + deficient in length. Mr. Winterblossom begs farther to assure Mr. + ---- ---- of the esteem in which he holds his genius, and of his + high personal consideration. + + "For ---- ----, Esquire, + Cleikum Inn, Old Town of St. Ronan's. + + "_The Public Rooms,_ + _Hotel and Tontine, St. Ronan's Well,_ + _&c. &c. &c._" + +The above card was written (we love to be precise in matters concerning +orthography) in a neat, round, clerk-like hand, which, like Mr. +Winterblossom's character, in many particulars was most accurate and +commonplace, though betraying an affectation both of flourish and of +facility. + +The next billet was a contrast to the diplomatic gravity and accuracy of +Mr. Winterblossom's official communication, and ran thus, the young +divine's academic jests and classical flowers of eloquence being mingled +with some wild flowers from the teeming fancy of Lady Penelope. + + "A choir of Dryads and Naiads, assembled at the healing spring of + St. Ronan's, have learned with surprise that a youth, gifted by + Apollo, when the Deity was prodigal, with two of his most esteemed + endowments, wanders at will among their domains, frequenting grove + and river, without once dreaming of paying homage to its tutelary + deities. He is, therefore, summoned to their presence, and prompt + obedience will insure him forgiveness; but in case of contumacy, let + him beware how he again essays either the lyre or the pallet. + + "_Postscript._ The adorable Penelope, long enrolled among the + Goddesses for her beauty and virtues, gives Nectar and Ambrosia, + which mortals call tea and cake, at the Public Rooms, near the + Sacred Spring, on Thursday evening, at eight o'clock, when the Muses + never fail to attend. The stranger's presence is requested to + participate in the delights of the evening. + + "_Second Postscript._ A shepherd, ambitiously aiming at more + accommodation than his narrow cot affords, leaves it in a day or + two. + + 'Assuredly the thing is to be hired.' + + _As You Like It._ + + "_Postscript third._ Our Iris, whom mortals know as Trotting Nelly + in her tartan cloak, will bring us the stranger's answer to our + celestial summons." + +This letter was written in a delicate Italian hand, garnished with fine +hair-strokes and dashes, which were sometimes so dexterously thrown off +as to represent lyres, pallets, vases, and other appropriate +decorations, suited to the tenor of the contents. + +The third epistle was a complete contrast to the other two. It was +written in a coarse, irregular, schoolboy half-text, which, however, +seemed to have cost the writer as much pains as if it had been a +specimen of the most exquisite caligraphy. And these were the +contents:-- + + "SUR--Jack Moobray has betted with me that the samon you killed on + Saturday last weyd ni to eiteen pounds,--I say nyer sixteen.--So you + being a spurtsman, 'tis refer'd.--So hope you will come or send + me't; do not doubt you will be on honour. The bet is a dozen of + claret, to be drank at the hotel by our own sett, on Monday next; + and we beg you will make one; and Moobray hopes you will come + down.--Being, sir, your most humbel servant,--Bingo Binks Baronet, + and of Block-hall. + + "_Postscript._ Have sent some loops of Indian gout, also some black + hakkels of my groom's dressing; hope they will prove killing, as + suiting river and season." + +No answer was received to any of these invitations for more than three +days; which, while it secretly rather added to than diminished the +curiosity of the Wellers concerning the Unknown, occasioned much railing +in public against him, as ill-mannered and rude. + +Meantime, Francis Tyrrel, to his great surprise, began to find, like the +philosophers, that he was never less alone than when alone. In the most +silent and sequestered walks, to which the present state of his mind +induced him to betake himself, he was sure to find some strollers from +the Well, to whom he had become the object of so much solicitous +interest. Quite innocent of the knowledge that he himself possessed the +attraction which occasioned his meeting them so frequently, he began to +doubt whether the Lady Penelope and her maidens--Mr. Winterblossom and +his grey pony--the parson and his short black coat and raven-grey +pantaloons--were not either actually polygraphic copies of the same +individuals, or possessed of a celerity of motion resembling +omnipresence and ubiquity; for nowhere could he go without meeting +them, and that oftener than once a-day, in the course of his walks. +Sometimes the presence of the sweet Lycoris was intimated by the sweet +prattle in an adjacent shade; sometimes, when Tyrrel thought himself +most solitary, the parson's flute was heard snoring forth Gramachree +Molly; and if he betook himself to the river, he was pretty sure to find +his sport watched by Sir Bingo or some of his friends. + +The efforts which Tyrrel made to escape from this persecution, and the +impatience of it which his manner indicated, procured him, among the +Wellers, the name of the _Misanthrope_; and, once distinguished as an +object of curiosity, he was the person most attended to, who could at +the ordinary of the day give the most accurate account of where the +Misanthrope had been, and how occupied in the course of the morning. And +so far was Tyrrel's shyness from diminishing the desire of the Wellers +for his society, that the latter feeling increased with the difficulty +of gratification,--as the angler feels the most peculiar interest when +throwing his fly for the most cunning and considerate trout in the pool. + +In short, such was the interest which the excited imaginations of the +company took in the Misanthrope, that, notwithstanding the unamiable +qualities which the word expresses, there was only one of the society +who did not desire to see the specimen at their rooms, for the purpose +of examining him closely and at leisure; and the ladies were +particularly desirous to enquire whether he was actually a Misanthrope? +Whether he had been always a Misanthrope? What had induced him to become +a Misanthrope? And whether there were no means of inducing him to cease +to be a Misanthrope? + +One individual only, as we have said, neither desired to see nor hear +more of the supposed Timon of Cleikum, and that was Mr. Mowbray of St. +Ronan's. Through the medium of that venerable character John Pirner, +professed weaver and practical black-fisher in the Aultoun of St. +Ronan's, who usually attended Tyrrel, to show him the casts of the +river, carry his bag, and so forth, the Squire had ascertained that the +judgment of Sir Bingo regarding the disputed weight of the fish was more +correct than his own. This inferred an immediate loss of honour, besides +the payment of a heavy bill. And the consequences might be yet more +serious; nothing short of the emancipation of Sir Bingo, who had +hitherto been Mowbray's convenient shadow and adherent, but who, if +triumphant, confiding in his superiority of judgment upon so important a +point, might either cut him altogether, or expect that, in future, the +Squire, who had long seemed the planet of their set, should be content +to roll around himself, Sir Bingo, in the capacity of a satellite. + +The Squire, therefore, devoutly hoped that Tyrrel's restive disposition +might continue, to prevent the decision of the bet, while, at the same +time, he nourished a very reasonable degree of dislike to that stranger, +who had been the indirect occasion of the unpleasant predicament in +which he found himself, by not catching a salmon weighing a pound +heavier. He, therefore, openly censured the meanness of those who +proposed taking further notice of Tyrrel, and referred to the unanswered +letters, as a piece of impertinence which announced him to be no +gentleman. + +But though appearances were against him, and though he was in truth +naturally inclined to solitude, and averse to the affectation and +bustle of such a society, that part of Tyrrel's behaviour which +indicated ill-breeding was easily accounted for, by his never having +received the letters which required an answer. Trotting Nelly, whether +unwilling to face her gossip, Meg Dods, without bringing back the +drawing, or whether oblivious through the influence of the double dram +with which she had been indulged at the Well, jumbled off with her cart +to her beloved village of Scate-raw, from which she transmitted the +letters by the first bare-legged gillie who travelled towards Aultoun of +St. Ronan's; so that at last, but after a long delay, they reached the +Cleikum Inn and the hands of Mr. Tyrrel. + +The arrival of these documents explained some part of the oddity of +behaviour which had surprised him in his neighbours of the Well; and as +he saw they had got somehow an idea of his being a lion extraordinary, +and was sensible that such is a character equally ridiculous, and +difficult to support, he hastened to write to Mr. Winterblossom a card +in the style of ordinary mortals. In this he stated the delay occasioned +by miscarriage of the letter, and his regret on that account; expressed +his intention of dining with the company at the Well on the succeeding +day, while he regretted that other circumstances, as well as the state +of his health and spirits, would permit him this honour very +infrequently during his stay in the country, and begged no trouble might +be taken about his accommodation at the Well, as he was perfectly +satisfied with his present residence. A separate note to Sir Bingo, said +he was happy he could verify the weight of the fish, which he had noted +in his diary; ("D--n the fellow, does he keep a diary?" said the +Baronet,) and though the result could only be particularly agreeable to +one party, he should wish both winner and loser mirth with their +wine;--he was sorry he was unable to promise himself the pleasure of +participating in either. Enclosed was a signed note of the weight of the +fish. Armed with this, Sir Bingo claimed his wine--triumphed in his +judgment--swore louder and more articulately than ever he was known to +utter any previous sounds, that this Tyrrel was a devilish honest +fellow, and he trusted to be better acquainted with him; while the +crestfallen Squire, privately cursing the stranger by all his gods, had +no mode of silencing his companion but by allowing his loss, and fixing +a day for discussing the bet. + +In the public rooms the company examined even microscopically the +response of the stranger to Mr. Winterblossom, straining their ingenuity +to discover, in the most ordinary expressions, a deeper and esoteric +meaning, expressive of something mysterious, and not meant to meet the +eye. Mr. Meiklewham, the writer, dwelt on the word _circumstances_, +which he read with peculiar emphasis. + +"Ah, poor lad!" he concluded, "I doubt he sits cheaper at Meg Dorts's +chimney-corner than he could do with the present company." + +Doctor Quackleben, in the manner of a clergyman selecting a word from +his text, as that which is to be particularly insisted upon, repeated in +an under tone, the words, "_State of health?_--umph--state of +health?--Nothing acute--no one has been sent for--must be +chronic--tending to gout, perhaps.--Or his shyness to society--light +wild eye--irregular step--starting when met suddenly by a stranger, and +turning abruptly and angrily away--Pray, Mr. Winterblossom, let me have +an order to look over the file of newspapers--it's very troublesome that +restriction about consulting them." + +"You know it is a necessary one, Doctor," said the president; "because +so few of the good company read any thing else, that the old newspapers +would have been worn to pieces long since." + +"Well, well, let me have the order," said the Doctor; "I remember +something of a gentleman run away from his friends--I must look at the +description.--I believe I have a strait-jacket somewhere about the +Dispensary." + +While this suggestion appalled the male part of the company, who did not +much relish the approaching dinner in company with a gentleman whose +situation seemed so precarious, some of the younger Misses whispered to +each other--"Ah, poor fellow!--and if it be as the Doctor supposes, my +lady, who knows what the cause of his illness may have been?--His +_spirits_ he complains of--ah, poor man!" + +And thus, by the ingenious commentaries of the company at the Well, on +as plain a note as ever covered the eighth part of a sheet of foolscap, +the writer was deprived of his property, his reason, and his heart, "all +or either, or one or other of them," as is briefly and distinctly +expressed in the law phrase. + +In short, so much was said _pro_ and _con_, so many ideas started and +theories maintained, concerning the disposition and character of the +Misanthrope, that, when the company assembled at the usual time, before +proceeding to dinner, they doubted, as it seemed, whether the expected +addition to their society was to enter the room on his hands or his +feet; and when "Mr. Tyrrel" was announced by Toby, at the top of his +voice, the gentleman who entered the room had so very little to +distinguish him from others, that there was a momentary disappointment. +The ladies, in particular, began to doubt whether the compound of +talent, misanthropy, madness, and mental sensibility, which they had +pictured to themselves, actually was the same with the genteel, and even +fashionable-looking man whom they saw before them; who, though in a +morning-dress, which the distance of his residence, and the freedom of +the place, made excusable, had, even in the minute points of his +exterior, none of the negligence, or wildness, which might be supposed +to attach to the vestments of a misanthropic recluse, whether sane or +insane. As he paid his compliments round the circle, the scales seemed +to fall from the eyes of those he spoke to; and they saw with surprise, +that the exaggerations had existed entirely in their own preconceptions, +and that whatever the fortunes, or rank in life, of Mr. Tyrrel might be, +his manners, without being showy, were gentlemanlike and pleasing. He +returned his thanks to Mr. Winterblossom in a manner which made that +gentleman recall his best breeding to answer the stranger's address in +kind. He then escaped from the awkwardness of remaining the sole object +of attention, by gliding gradually among the company,--not like an owl, +which seeks to hide itself in a thicket, or an awkward and retired man, +shrinking from the society into which he is compelled, but with the air +of one who could maintain with ease his part in a higher circle. His +address to Lady Penelope was adapted to the romantic tone of Mr. +Chatterly's epistle, to which it was necessary to allude. He was afraid, +he said, he must complain to Juno of the neglect of Iris, for her +irregularity in delivery of a certain ethereal command, which he had not +dared to answer otherwise than by mute obedience--unless, indeed, as the +import of the letter seemed to infer, the invitation was designed for +some more gifted individual than he to whom chance had assigned it. + +Lady Penelope by her lips, and many of the young ladies with their eyes, +assured him there was no mistake in the matter; that he was really the +gifted person whom the nymphs had summoned to their presence, and that +they were well acquainted with his talents as a poet and a painter. +Tyrrel disclaimed, with earnestness and gravity, the charge of poetry, +and professed, that, far from attempting the art itself, he "read with +reluctance all but the productions of the very first-rate poets, and +some of these--he was almost afraid to say--he should have liked better +in humble prose." + +"You have now only to disown your skill as an artist," said Lady +Penelope, "and we must consider Mr. Tyrrel as the falsest and most +deceitful of his sex, who has a mind to deprive us of the opportunity of +benefiting by the productions of his unparalleled endowments. I assure +you I shall put my young friends on their guard. Such dissimulation +cannot be without its object." + +"And I," said Mr. Winterblossom, "can produce a piece of real evidence +against the culprit." + +So saying, he unrolled the sketch which he had filched from Trotting +Nelly, and which he had pared and pasted, (arts in which he was +eminent,) so as to take out its creases, repair its breaches, and vamp +it as well as my old friend Mrs. Weir could have repaired the damages of +time on a folio Shakspeare. + +"The vara _corpus delicti_," said the writer, grinning and rubbing his +hands. + +"If you are so good as to call such scratches drawings," said Tyrrel, "I +must stand so far confessed. I used to do them for my own amusement; but +since my landlady, Mrs. Dods, has of late discovered that I gain my +livelihood by them, why should I disown it?" + +This avowal, made without the least appearance either of shame or +_retenue_, seemed to have a striking effect on the whole society. The +president's trembling hand stole the sketch back to the portfolio, +afraid doubtless it might be claimed in form, or else compensation +expected by the artist. Lady Penelope was disconcerted, like an awkward +horse when it changes the leading foot in galloping. She had to recede +from the respectful and easy footing on which he had contrived to place +himself, to one which might express patronage on her own part, and +dependence on Tyrrel's; and this could not be done in a moment. + +The Man of Law murmured, "Circumstances--circumstances--I thought so!" + +Sir Bingo whispered to his friend the Squire, "Run out--blown up--off +the course--pity--d----d pretty fellow he has been!" + +"A raff from the beginning!" whispered Mowbray.--"I never thought him +any thing else." + +"I'll hold ye a poney of that, my dear, and I'll ask him." + +"Done, for a poney, provided you ask him in ten minutes," said the +Squire; "but you dare not, Bingie--he has a d----d cross game look, +with all that civil chaff of his." + +"Done," said Sir Bingo, but in a less confident tone than before, and +with a determination to proceed with some caution in the matter.--"I +have got a rouleau above, and Winterblossom shall hold stakes." + +"I have no rouleau," said the Squire; "but I'll fly a cheque on +Meiklewham." + +"See it be better than your last," said Sir Bingo, "for I won't be +skylarked again. Jack, my boy, you are had." + +"Not till the bet's won; and I shall see yon walking dandy break your +head, Bingie, before that," answered Mowbray. "Best speak to the Captain +before hand--it is a hellish scrape you are running into--I'll let you +off yet, Bingie, for a guinea forfeit.--See, I am just going to start +the tattler." + +"Start, and be d----d!" said Sir Bingo. "You are gotten, I assure you o' +that, Jack." And with a bow and a shuffle, he went up and introduced +himself to the stranger as Sir Bingo Binks. + +"Had--honour--write--sir," were the only sounds which his throat, or +rather his cravat, seemed to send forth. + +"Confound the booby!" thought Mowbray; "he will get out of leading +strings, if he goes on at this rate; and doubly confounded be this +cursed tramper, who, the Lord knows why, has come hither from the Lord +knows where, to drive the pigs through my game." + +In the meantime, while his friend stood with his stop-watch in his hand, +with a visage lengthened under the influence of these reflections, Sir +Bingo, with an instinctive tact, which self-preservation seemed to +dictate to a brain neither the most delicate nor subtle in the world, +premised his enquiry by some general remark on fishing and field-sports. +With all these, he found Tyrrel more than passably acquainted. Of +fishing and shooting, particularly, he spoke with something like +enthusiasm; so that Sir Bingo began to hold him in considerable respect, +and to assure himself that he could not be, or at least could not +originally have been bred, the itinerant artist which he now gave +himself out--and this, with the fast lapse of the time, induced him thus +to address Tyrrel.--"I say, Mr. Tyrrel--why, you have been one of us--I +say"---- + +"If you mean a sportsman, Sir Bingo--I have been, and am a pretty keen +one still," replied Tyrrel. + +"Why, then, you did not always do them sort of things?" + +"What sort of things do you mean, Sir Bingo?" said Tyrrel. "I have not +the pleasure of understanding you." + +"Why, I mean them sketches," said Sir Bingo. "I'll give you a handsome +order for them, if you will tell me. I will, on my honour." + +"Does it concern you particularly, Sir Bingo, to know any thing of my +affairs?" said Tyrrel. + +"No--certainly--not immediately," answered Sir Bingo, with some +hesitation, for he liked not the dry tone in which Tyrrel's answers were +returned, half so well as a bumper of dry sherry; "only I said you were +a d----d gnostic fellow, and I laid a bet you have not been always +professional--that's all." + +Mr. Tyrrel replied, "A bet with Mr. Mowbray, I suppose?" + +"Yes, with Jack," replied the Baronet--"you have hit it--I hope I have +done him?" + +Tyrrel bent his brows, and looked first at Mr. Mowbray, then at the +Baronet, and, after a moment's thought, addressed the latter.--"Sir +Bingo Binks, you are a gentleman of elegant enquiry and acute +judgment.--You are perfectly right--I was _not_ bred to the profession +of an artist, nor did I practise it formerly, whatever I may do now; and +so that question is answered." + +"And Jack is diddled," said the Baronet, smiting his thigh in triumph, +and turning towards the Squire and the stake-holder, with a smile of +exultation. + +"Stop a single moment, Sir Bingo," said Tyrrel; "take one word with you. +I have a great respect for bets,--it is part of an Englishman's +character to bet on what he thinks fit, and to prosecute his enquiries +over hedge and ditch, as if he were steeple-hunting. But as I have +satisfied you on the subject of two bets, that is sufficient compliance +with the custom of the country; and therefore I request, Sir Bingo, you +will not make me or my affairs the subject of any more wagers." + +"I'll be d----d if I do," was the internal resolution of Sir Bingo. +Aloud he muttered some apologies, and was heartily glad that the +dinner-bell, sounding at the moment, afforded him an apology for +shuffling off in a different direction. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +TABLE-TALK. + + And, sir, if these accounts be true, + The Dutch have mighty things in view; + The Austrians--I admire French beans, + Dear ma'am, above all other greens. + + * * * * * + + And all as lively and as brisk + As--Ma'am, d'ye choose a game at whisk? + +_Table-Talk._ + + +When they were about to leave the room, Lady Penelope assumed Tyrrel's +arm with a sweet smile of condescension, meant to make the honoured +party understand in its full extent the favour conferred. But the +unreasonable artist, far from intimating the least confusion at an +attention so little to be expected, seemed to consider the distinction +as one which was naturally paid to the greatest stranger present; and +when he placed Lady Penelope at the head of the table, by Mr. +Winterblossom the president, and took a chair for himself betwixt her +ladyship and Lady Binks, the provoking wretch appeared no more sensible +of being exalted above his proper rank in society, than if he had been +sitting at the bottom of the table by honest Mrs. Blower from the +Bow-head, who had come to the Well to carry off the dregs of the +_Inflienzie_, which she scorned to term a surfeit. + +Now this indifference puzzled Lady Penelope's game extremely, and +irritated her desire to get at the bottom of Tyrrel's mystery, if there +was one, and secure him to her own party. If you were ever at a +watering-place, reader, you know that while the guests do not always pay +the most polite attention to unmarked individuals, the appearance of a +stray lion makes an interest as strong as it is reasonable, and the +Amazonian chiefs of each coterie, like the hunters of Buenos-Ayres, +prepare their _lasso_, and manoeuvre to the best advantage they can, +each hoping to noose the unsuspicious monster, and lead him captive to +her own menagerie. A few words concerning Lady Penelope Penfeather will +explain why she practised this sport with even more than common zeal. + +She was the daughter of an earl, possessed a showy person, and features +which might be called handsome in youth, though now rather too much +_prononces_ to render the term proper. The nose was become sharper; the +cheeks had lost the roundness of youth; and as, during fifteen years +that she had reigned a beauty and a ruling toast, the right man had not +spoken, or, at least, had not spoken at the right time, her ladyship, +now rendered sufficiently independent by the inheritance of an old +relation, spoke in praise of friendship, began to dislike the town in +summer, and to "babble of green fields." + +About the time Lady Penelope thus changed the tenor of her life, she was +fortunate enough, with Dr. Quackleben's assistance, to find out the +virtues of St Ronan's spring; and having contributed her share to +establish the _urbs in rure_, which had risen around it, she sat herself +down as leader of the fashions in the little province which she had in a +great measure both discovered and colonized. She was, therefore, justly +desirous to compel homage and tribute from all who should approach the +territory. + +In other respects, Lady Penelope pretty much resembled the numerous +class she belonged to. She was at bottom a well-principled woman, but +too thoughtless to let her principles control her humour, therefore not +scrupulously nice in her society. She was good-natured, but capricious +and whimsical, and willing enough to be kind or generous, if it neither +thwarted her humour, nor cost her much trouble; would have chaperoned a +young friend any where, and moved the world for subscription tickets; +but never troubled herself how much her giddy charge flirted, or with +whom; so that, with a numerous class of Misses, her ladyship was the +most delightful creature in the world. Then Lady Penelope had lived so +much in society, knew so exactly when to speak, and how to escape from +an embarrassing discussion by professing ignorance, while she looked +intelligence, that she was not generally discovered to be a fool, unless +when she set up for being remarkably clever. This happened more +frequently of late, when, perhaps, as she could not but observe that the +repairs of the toilet became more necessary, she might suppose that new +lights, according to the poet, were streaming on her mind through the +chinks that Time was making. Many of her friends, however, thought that +Lady Penelope would have better consulted her genius by remaining in +mediocrity, as a fashionable and well-bred woman, than by parading her +new-founded pretensions to taste and patronage; but such was not her own +opinion, and doubtless, her ladyship was the best judge. + +On the other side of Tyrrel sat Lady Binks, lately the beautiful Miss +Bonnyrigg, who, during the last season, had made the company at the Well +alternately admire, smile, and stare, by dancing the highest Highland +fling, riding the wildest pony, laughing the loudest laugh at the +broadest joke, and wearing the briefest petticoat of any nymph of St. +Ronan's. Few knew that this wild, hoydenish, half-mad humour, was only +superinduced over her real character, for the purpose of--getting well +married. She had fixed her eyes on Sir Bingo, and was aware of his +maxim, that to catch him, "a girl must be," in his own phrase, "bang up +to every thing;" and that he would choose a wife for the neck-or-nothing +qualities which recommend a good hunter. She made out her catch-match, +and she was miserable. Her wild good-humour was entirely an assumed part +of her character, which was passionate, ambitious, and thoughtful. +Delicacy she had none--she knew Sir Bingo was a brute and a fool, even +while she was hunting him down; but she had so far mistaken her own +feelings, as not to have expected that when she became bone of his bone, +she should feel so much shame and anger when she saw his folly expose +him to be laughed at and plundered, or so disgusted when his brutality +became intimately connected with herself. It is true, he was on the +whole rather an innocent monster; and between bitting and bridling, +coaxing and humouring, might have been made to pad on well enough. But +an unhappy boggling which had taken place previous to the declaration of +their private marriage, had so exasperated her spirits against her +helpmate, that modes of conciliation were the last she was likely to +adopt. Not only had the assistance of the Scottish Themis, so +propitiously indulgent to the foibles of the fair, been resorted to on +the occasion, but even Mars seemed ready to enter upon the tapis, if +Hymen had not intervened. There was, _de par le monde_, a certain +brother of the lady--an officer--and, as it happened, on leave of +absence,--who alighted from a hack-chaise at the Fox Hotel, at eleven +o'clock at night, holding in his hand a slip of well-dried oak, +accompanied by another gentleman, who, like himself, wore a military +travelling-cap and a black stock; out of the said chaise, as was +reported by the trusty Toby, was handed a small reise-sac, an Andrew +Ferrara, and a neat mahogany box, eighteen inches long, three deep, and +some six broad. Next morning a solemn _palaver_ (as the natives of +Madagascar call their national convention) was held at an unusual hour, +at which Captain MacTurk and Mr. Mowbray assisted; and the upshot was, +that at breakfast the company were made happy by the information, that +Sir Bingo had been for some weeks the happy bridegroom of their general +favourite; which union, concealed for family reasons, he was now at +liberty to acknowledge, and to fly with the wings of love to bring his +sorrowing turtle from the shades to which she had retired, till the +obstacles to their mutual happiness could be removed. Now, though all +this sounded very smoothly, that gall-less turtle, Lady Binks, could +never think of the tenor of the proceedings without the deepest feelings +of resentment and contempt for the principal actor, Sir Bingo. + +Besides all these unpleasant circumstances, Sir Bingo's family had +refused to countenance her wish that he should bring her to his own +seat; and hence a new shock to her pride, and new matter of contempt +against poor Sir Bingo, for being ashamed and afraid to face down the +opposition of his kins-folk, for whose displeasure, though never +attending to any good advice from them, he retained a childish awe. + +The manners of the young lady were no less changed than was her temper; +and, from being much too careless and free, were become reserved, +sullen, and haughty. A consciousness that many scrupled to hold +intercourse with her in society, rendered her disagreeably tenacious of +her rank, and jealous of every thing that appeared like neglect. She had +constituted herself mistress of Sir Bingo's purse; and, unrestrained in +the expenses of dress and equipage, chose, contrary to her maiden +practice, to be rather rich and splendid than gay, and to command that +attention by magnificence, which she no longer deigned to solicit by +rendering herself either agreeable or entertaining. One secret source of +her misery was, the necessity of showing deference to Lady Penelope +Penfeather, whose understanding she despised, and whose pretensions to +consequence, to patronage, and to literature, she had acuteness enough +to see through, and to contemn; and this dislike was the more grievous, +that she felt she depended a good deal on Lady Penelope's countenance +for the situation she was able to maintain even among the not very +select society of St. Ronan's Well; and that, neglected by her, she must +have dropped lower in the scale even there. Neither was Lady Penelope's +kindness to Lady Binks extremely cordial. She partook in the ancient and +ordinary dislike of single nymphs of a certain age, to those who made +splendid alliances under their very eye--and she more than suspected the +secret disaffection of the lady. But the name sounded well; and the +style in which Lady Binks lived was a credit to the place. So they +satisfied their mutual dislike with saying a few sharp things to each +other occasionally, but all under the mask of civility. + +Such was Lady Binks; and yet, being such, her dress, and her equipage, +and carriages, were the envy of half the Misses at the Well, who, while +she sat disfiguring with sullenness her very lovely face, (for it was as +beautiful as her shape was exquisite,) only thought she was proud of +having carried her point, and felt herself, with her large fortune and +diamond bandeau, no fit company for the rest of the party. They gave +way, therefore, with meekness to her domineering temper, though it was +not the less tyrannical, that in her maiden state of hoyden-hood, she +had been to some of them an object of slight and of censure; and Lady +Binks had not forgotten the offences offered to Miss Bonnyrigg. But the +fair sisterhood submitted to her retaliations, as lieutenants endure the +bullying of a rude and boisterous captain of the sea, with the secret +determination to pay it home to their underlings, when they shall become +captains themselves. + +In this state of importance, yet of penance, Lady Binks occupied her +place at the dinner-table, alternately disconcerted by some stupid +speech of her lord and master, and by some slight sarcasm from Lady +Penelope, to which she longed to reply, but dared not. + +She looked from time to time at her neighbour Frank Tyrrel, but without +addressing him, and accepted in silence the usual civilities which he +proffered to her. She had remarked keenly his interview with Sir Bingo, +and knowing by experience the manner in which her honoured lord was wont +to retreat from a dispute in which he was unsuccessful, as well as his +genius for getting into such perplexities, she had little doubt that he +had sustained from the stranger some new indignity; whom, therefore, she +regarded with a mixture of feeling, scarce knowing whether to be pleased +with him for having given pain to him whom she hated, or angry with him +for having affronted one in whose degradation her own was necessarily +involved. There might be other thoughts--on the whole, she regarded him +with much though with mute attention. He paid her but little in return, +being almost entirely occupied in replying to the questions of the +engrossing Lady Penelope Penfeather. + +Receiving polite though rather evasive answers to her enquiries +concerning his late avocations, her ladyship could only learn that +Tyrrel had been travelling in several remote parts of Europe, and even +of Asia. Baffled, but not repulsed, the lady continued her courtesy, by +pointing out to him, as a stranger, several individuals of the company +to whom she proposed introducing him, as persons from whose society he +might derive either profit or amusement. In the midst of this sort of +conversation, however, she suddenly stopped short. + +"Will you forgive me, Mr. Tyrrel," she said, "if I say I have been +watching your thoughts for some moments, and that I have detected you? +All the while that I have been talking of these good folks, and that you +have been making such civil replies, that they might be with great +propriety and utility inserted in the 'Familiar Dialogues, teaching +foreigners how to express themselves in English upon ordinary +occasions'--your mind has been entirely fixed upon that empty chair, +which hath remained there opposite betwixt our worthy president and Sir +Bingo Binks." + +"I own, madam," he answered, "I was a little surprised at seeing such a +distinguished seat unoccupied, while the table is rather crowded." + +"O, confess more, sir!--Confess that to a poet a seat unoccupied--the +chair of Banquo--has more charms than if it were filled even as an +alderman would fill it.--What if 'the Dark Ladye'[I-14] should glide in +and occupy it?--would you have courage to stand the vision, Mr. +Tyrrel?--I assure you the thing is not impossible." + +"_What_ is not impossible, Lady Penelope?" said Tyrrel, somewhat +surprised. + +"Startled already?--Nay, then, I despair of your enduring the awful +interview." + +"What interview? who is expected?" said Tyrrel, unable with the utmost +exertion to suppress some signs of curiosity, though he suspected the +whole to be merely some mystification of her ladyship. + +"How delighted I am," she said, "that I have found out where you are +vulnerable!--Expected--did I say expected?--no, not expected. + + 'She glides, like Night, from land to land, + She hath strange power of speech.' + +--But come, I have you at my mercy, and I will be generous and +explain.--We call--that is, among ourselves, you understand--Miss Clara +Mowbray, the sister of that gentleman that sits next to Miss Parker, the +Dark Ladye, and that seat is left for her.--For she was expected--no, +not expected--I forget again!--but it was thought _possible_ she might +honour us to-day, when our feast was so full and piquant.--Her brother +is our Lord of the Manor--and so they pay her that sort of civility to +regard her as a visitor--and neither Lady Binks nor I think of +objecting--She is a singular young person, Clara Mowbray--she amuses me +very much--I am always rather glad to see her." + +"She is not to come hither to-day," said Tyrrel; "am I so to understand +your ladyship?" + +"Why, it is past her time--even _her_ time," said Lady Penelope--"dinner +was kept back half an hour, and our poor invalids were famishing, as you +may see by the deeds they have done since.--But Clara is an odd +creature, and if she took it into her head to come hither at this +moment, hither she would come--she is very whimsical.--Many people think +her handsome--but she looks so like something from another world, that +she makes me always think of Mat Lewis's Spectre Lady." + +And she repeated with much cadence, + + "There is a thing--there is a thing, + I fain would have from thee; + I fain would have that gay gold ring, + O warrior, give it me!" + +"And then you remember his answer: + + 'This ring Lord Brooke from his daughter took, + And a solemn oath he swore, + That that ladye my bride should be + When this crusade was o'er.' + +You do figures as well as landscapes, I suppose, Mr. Tyrrel?--You shall +make a sketch for me--a slight thing--for sketches, I think, show the +freedom of art better than finished pieces--I dote on the first +coruscations of genius--flashing like lightning from the cloud!--You +shall make a sketch for my boudoir--my dear sulky den at Air Castle, and +Clara Mowbray shall sit for the Ghost Ladye." + +"That would be but a poor compliment to your ladyship's friend," replied +Tyrrel. + +"Friend? We don't get quite that length, though I like Clara very +well.--Quite sentimental cast of face--I think I saw an antique in the +Louvre very like her--(I was there in 1800)--quite an antique +countenance--eyes something hollowed--care has dug caves for them, but +they are caves of the most beautiful marble, arched with jet--a straight +nose, and absolutely the Grecian mouth and chin--a profusion of long +straight black hair, with the whitest skin you ever saw--as white as the +whitest parchment--and not a shade of colour in her cheek--none +whatever--If she would be naughty, and borrow a prudent touch of +complexion, she might be called beautiful. Even as it is, many think her +so, although surely, Mr. Tyrrel, three colours are necessary to the +female face. However, we used to call her the Melpomene of the Spring +last season, as we called Lady Binks--who was not then Lady Binks--our +Euphrosyne--did we not, my dear?" + +"Did we not what, madam?" said Lady Binks, in a tone something sharper +than ought to have belonged to so beautiful a countenance. + +"I am sorry I have started you out of your reverie, my love," answered +Lady Penelope. "I was only assuring Mr. Tyrrel that you were once +Euphrosyne, though now so much under the banners of Il Penseroso." + +"I do not know that I have been either one or the other," answered Lady +Binks; "one thing I certainly am not--I am not capable of understanding +your ladyship's wit and learning." + +"Poor soul," whispered Lady Penelope to Tyrrel; "we know what we are, we +know not what we may be.--And now, Mr. Tyrrel, I have been your sibyl to +guide you through this Elysium of ours, I think, in reward, I deserve a +little confidence in return." + +"If I had any to bestow, which could be in the slightest degree +interesting to your ladyship," answered Tyrrel. + +"Oh! cruel man--he will not understand me!" exclaimed the lady--"In +plain words, then, a peep into your portfolio--just to see what objects +you have rescued from natural decay, and rendered immortal by the +pencil. You do not know--indeed, Mr. Tyrrel, you do not know how I dote +upon your 'serenely silent art,' second to poetry alone--equal--superior +perhaps--to music." + +"I really have little that could possibly be worth the attention of such +a judge as your ladyship," answered Tyrrel; "such trifles as your +ladyship has seen, I sometimes leave at the foot of the tree I have been +sketching." + +"As Orlando left his verses in the Forest of Ardennes?--Oh, the +thoughtless prodigality!--Mr. Winterblossom, do you hear this?--We must +follow Mr. Tyrrel in his walks, and glean what he leaves behind him." + +Her ladyship was here disconcerted by some laughter on Sir Bingo's side +of the table, which she chastised by an angry glance, and then proceeded +emphatically. + +"Mr. Tyrrel--this must _not_ be--this is not the way of the world, my +good sir, to which even genius must stoop its flight. We must consult +the engraver--though perhaps you etch as well as you draw?" + +"I should suppose so," said Mr. Winterblossom, edging in a word with +difficulty, "from the freedom of Mr. Tyrrel's touch." + +"I will not deny my having spoiled a little copper now and then," said +Tyrrel, "since I am charged with the crime by such good judges; but it +has only been by way of experiment." + +"Say no more," said the lady; "my darling wish is accomplished!--We have +long desired to have the remarkable and most romantic spots of our +little Arcadia here--spots consecrated to friendship, the fine arts, the +loves and the graces, immortalized by the graver's art, faithful to its +charge of fame--you shall labour on this task, Mr. Tyrrel; we will all +assist with notes and illustrations--we will all contribute--only some +of us must be permitted to remain anonymous--Fairy favours, you know, +Mr. Tyrrel, must be kept secret--And you shall be allowed the pillage of +the Album--some sweet things there of Mr. Chatterly's--and Mr. Edgeit, a +gentleman of your own profession, I am sure will lend his aid--Dr. +Quackleben will contribute some scientific notices.--And for +subscription"---- + +"Financial--financial--your leddyship, I speak to order!" said the +writer, interrupting Lady Penelope with a tone of impudent familiarity, +which was meant doubtless for jocular ease. + +"How am I out of order, Mr. Meiklewham?" said her ladyship, drawing +herself up. + +"I speak to order!--No warrants for money can be extracted before +intimation to the Committee of Management." + +"Pray, who mentioned money, Mr. Meiklewham?" said her ladyship.--"That +wretched old pettifogger," she added in a whisper to Tyrrel, "thinks of +nothing else but the filthy pelf." + +"Ye spake of subscription, my leddy, whilk is the same thing as money, +differing only in respect of time--the subscription being a contract _de +futuro_, and having a _tractus temporis in gremio_--And I have kend mony +honest folks in the company at the Well, complain of the subscriptions +as a great abuse, as obliging them either to look unlike other folk, or +to gie good lawful coin for ballants and picture-books, and things they +caredna a pinch of snuff for." + +Several of the company, at the lower end of the table, assented both by +nods and murmurs of approbation; and the orator was about to proceed, +when Tyrrel with difficulty procured a hearing before the debate went +farther, and assured the company that her ladyship's goodness had led +her into an error; that he had no work in hand worthy of their +patronage, and, with the deepest gratitude for Lady Penelope's goodness, +had it not in his power to comply with her request. There was some +tittering at her ladyship's expense, who, as the writer slyly observed, +had been something _ultronious_ in her patronage. Without attempting for +the moment any rally, (as indeed the time which had passed since the +removal of the dinner scarce permitted an opportunity,) Lady Penelope +gave the signal for the ladies' retreat, and left the gentlemen to the +circulation of the bottle. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[I-14] Note II.--The Dark Ladye. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +THE TEA-TABLE. + + ----While the cups, + Which cheer, but not inebriate, wait on each. + +COWPER. + + +It was common at the Well, for the fair guests occasionally to give tea +to the company,--such at least as from their rank and leading in the +little society, might be esteemed fit to constitute themselves +patronesses of an evening; and the same lady generally carried the +authority she had acquired into the ball-room, where two fiddles and a +bass, at a guinea a night, with a _quantum sufficit_ of tallow candles, +(against the use of which Lady Penelope often mutinied,) enabled the +company--to use the appropriate phrase--"to close the evening on the +light fantastic toe." + +On the present occasion, the lion of the hour, Mr. Francis Tyrrel, had +so little answered the high-wrought expectations of Lady Penelope, that +she rather regretted having ever given herself any trouble about him, +and particularly that of having manoeuvred herself into the patronage +of the tea-table for the evening, to the great expenditure of souchong +and congo. Accordingly, her ladyship had no sooner summoned her own +woman, and her _fille de chambre_, to make tea, with her page, footman, +and postilion, to hand it about, (in which duty they were assisted by +two richly-laced and thickly-powdered footmen of Lady Binks's, whose +liveries put to shame the more modest garb of Lady Penelope's, and even +dimmed the glory of the suppressed coronet upon the buttons,) than she +began to vilipend and depreciate what had been so long the object of her +curiosity. + +"This Mr. Tyrrel," she said, in a tone of authoritative decision, "seems +after all a very ordinary sort of person, quite a commonplace man, who, +she dared say, had considered his condition, in going to the old +alehouse, much better than they had done for him, when they asked him to +the Public Rooms. He had known his own place better than they did--there +was nothing uncommon in his appearance or conversation--nothing at all +_frappant_--she scarce believed he could even draw that sketch. Mr. +Winterblossom, indeed, made a great deal of it; but then all the world +knew that every scrap of engraving or drawing, which Mr. Winterblossom +contrived to make his own, was, the instant it came into his collection, +the finest thing that ever was seen--that was the way with +collectors--their geese were all swans." + +"And your ladyship's swan has proved but a goose, my dearest Lady Pen," +said Lady Binks. + +"_My_ swan, dearest Lady Binks! I really do not know how I have deserved +the appropriation." + +"Do not be angry, my dear Lady Penelope; I only mean, that for a +fortnight and more you have spoke constantly _of_ this Mr. Tyrrel, and +all dinner-time you spoke _to_ him." + +The fair company began to collect around, at hearing the word _dear_ so +often repeated in the same brief dialogue, which induced them to expect +sport, and, like the vulgar on a similar occasion, to form a ring for +the expected combatants. + +"He sat betwixt us, Lady Binks," answered Lady Penelope, with dignity. +"You had your usual headache, you know, and, for the credit of the +company, I spoke for one." + +"For _two_, if your ladyship pleases," replied Lady Binks. "I mean," she +added, softening the expression, "for yourself and me." + +"I am sorry," said Lady Penelope, "I should have spoken for one who can +speak so smartly for herself, as my dear Lady Binks--I did not, by any +means, desire to engross the conversation--I repeat it, there is a +mistake about this man." + +"I think there is," said Lady Binks, in a tone which implied something +more than mere assent to Lady Penelope's proposition. + +"I doubt if he is an artist at all," said the Lady Penelope; "or if he +is, he must be doing things for some Magazine, or Encyclopedia, or some +such matter." + +"_I_ doubt, too, if he be a professional artist," said Lady Binks. "If +so, he is of the very highest class, for I have seldom seen a +better-bred man." + +"There are very well-bred artists," said Lady Penelope. "It is the +profession of a gentleman." + +"Certainly," answered Lady Binks; "but the poorer class have often to +struggle with poverty and dependence. In general society, they are like +commercial people in presence of their customers; and that is a +difficult part to sustain. And so you see them of all sorts--shy and +reserved, when they are conscious of merit--petulant and whimsical, by +way of showing their independence--intrusive, in order to appear +easy--and sometimes obsequious and fawning, when they chance to be of a +mean spirit. But you seldom see them quite at their ease, and therefore +I hold this Mr. Tyrrel to be either an artist of the first class, raised +completely above the necessity and degradation of patronage, or else to +be no professional artist at all." + +Lady Penelope looked at Lady Binks with much such a regard as Balaam may +have cast upon his ass, when he discovered the animal's capacity for +holding an argument with him. She muttered to herself-- + + _"Mon ane parle, et meme il parle bien!"_ + +But, declining the altercation which Lady Binks seemed disposed to enter +into, she replied, with good-humour, "Well, dearest Rachel, we will not +pull caps about this man--nay, I think your good opinion of him gives +him new value in my eyes. That is always the way with us, my good +friend! We may confess it, when there are none of these conceited male +wretches among us. We will know what he really is--he shall not wear +fern-seed, and walk among us invisible thus--what say you, Maria?" + +"Indeed, I say, dear Lady Penelope," answered Miss Digges, whose ready +chatter we have already introduced to the reader, "he is a very handsome +man, though his nose is too big, and his mouth too wide--but his teeth +are like pearl--and he has such eyes!--especially when your ladyship +spoke to him. I don't think you looked at his eyes--they are quite deep +and dark, and full of glow, like what you read to us in the letter from +that lady, about Robert Burns." + +"Upon my word, miss, you come on finely!" said Lady Penelope.--"One had +need take care what they read or talk about before you, I see--Come, +Jones, have mercy upon us--put an end to that symphony of tinkling cups +and saucers, and let the first act of the tea-table begin, if you +please." + +"Does her leddyship mean the grace?" said honest Mrs. Blower, for the +first time admitted into this worshipful society, and busily employed in +arranging an Indian handkerchief, that might have made a mainsail for +one of her husband's smuggling luggers, which she spread carefully on +her knee, to prevent damage to a flowered black silk gown from the +repast of tea and cake, to which she proposed to do due honour--"Does +her leddyship mean the grace? I see the minister is just coming in.--Her +leddyship waits till ye say a blessing, an ye please, sir." + +Mr. Winterblossom, who _toddled_ after the chaplain, his toe having +given him an alert hint to quit the dining-table, though he saw every +feature in the poor woman's face swoln with desire to procure +information concerning the ways and customs of the place, passed on the +other side of the way, regardless of her agony of curiosity. + +A moment after, she was relieved by the entrance of Dr. Quackleben, +whose maxim being, that one patient was as well worth attention as +another, and who knew by experience, that the _honoraria_ of a godly +wife of the Bow-head were as apt to be forthcoming, (if not more so,) as +my Lady Penelope's, he e'en sat himself quietly down by Mrs. Blower, and +proceeded with the utmost kindness to enquire after her health, and to +hope she had not forgotten taking a table-spoonful of spirits burnt to a +_residuum_, in order to qualify the crudities. + +"Indeed, Doctor," said the honest woman, "I loot the brandy burn as lang +as I dought look at the gude creature wasting itsell that gate--and +then, when I was fain to put it out for very thrift, I did take a +thimbleful of it, (although it is not the thing I am used to, Dr. +Quackleben,) and I winna say but that it did me good." + +"Unquestionably, madam," said the Doctor, "I am no friend to the use of +alcohol in general, but there are particular cases--there are particular +cases, Mrs. Blower--My venerated instructor, one of the greatest men in +our profession that ever lived, took a wine-glassful of old rum, mixed +with sugar, every day after his dinner." + +"Ay? dear heart, he would be a comfortable doctor that," said Mrs. +Blower. "He wad maybe ken something of my case. Is he leevin' think ye, +sir?" + +"Dead for many years, madam," said Dr. Quackleben; "and there are but +few of his pupils that can fill his place, I assure ye. If I could be +thought an exception, it is only because I was a favourite. Ah! +blessings on the old red cloak of him!--It covered more of the healing +science than the gowns of a whole modern university." + +"There is ane, sir," said Mrs. Blower, "that has been muckle recommended +about Edinburgh--Macgregor, I think they ca' him--folk come far and near +to see him."[I-15] + +"I know whom you mean, ma'am--a clever man--no denying it--a clever +man--but there are certain cases--yours, for example--and I think that +of many that come to drink this water--which I cannot say I think he +perfectly understands--hasty--very hasty and rapid. Now I--I give the +disease its own way at first--then watch it, Mrs. Blower--watch the turn +of the tide." + +"Ay, troth, that's true," responded the widow; "John Blower was aye +watching turn of tide, puir man." + +"Then he is a starving doctor, Mrs. Blower--reduces diseases as soldiers +do towns--by famine, not considering that the friendly inhabitants +suffer as much as the hostile garrison--ahem!" + +Here he gave an important and emphatic cough, and then proceeded. + +"I am no friend either to excess or to violent stimulus, Mrs. +Blower--but nature must be supported--a generous diet--cordials +judiciously thrown in--not without the advice of a medical man--that is +my opinion, Mrs. Blower, to speak as a friend--others may starve their +patients if they have a mind." + +"It wadna do for me, the starving, Dr. Keekerben," said the alarmed +relict,--"it wadna do for me at a'--Just a' I can do to wear through the +day with the sma' supports that nature requires--not a soul to look +after me, Doctor, since John Blower was ta'en awa.--Thank ye kindly, +sir," (to the servant who handed the tea,)--"thank ye, my bonny man," +(to the page who served the cake)--"Now, dinna ye think, Doctor," (in a +low and confidential voice,) "that her leddyship's tea is rather of the +weakliest--water bewitched, I think--and Mrs. Jones, as they ca' her, +has cut the seedcake very thin?" + +"It is the fashion, Mrs. Blower," answered Dr. Quackleben; "and her +ladyship's tea is excellent. But your taste is a little chilled, which +is not uncommon at the first use of the waters, so that you are not +sensible of the flavour--we must support the system--reinforce the +digestive powers--give me leave--you are a stranger, Mrs. Blower, and we +must take care of you--I have an elixir which will put that matter to +rights in a moment." + +So saying, Dr. Quackleben pulled from his pocket a small portable case +of medicines--"Catch me without my tools,"--he said; "here I have the +real useful pharmacopoeia--the rest is all humbug and hard names--this +little case, with a fortnight or month, spring and fall, at St. Ronan's +Well, and no one will die till his day come." + +Thus boasting, the Doctor drew from his case a large vial or small +flask, full of a high-coloured liquid, of which he mixed three +tea-spoonfuls in Mrs. Blower's cup, who, immediately afterwards, allowed +that the flavour was improved beyond all belief, and that it was "vera +comfortable and restorative indeed." + +"Will it not do good to my complaints, Doctor?" said Mr. Winterblossom, +who had strolled towards them, and held out his cup to the physician. + +"I by no means recommend it, Mr. Winterblossom," said Dr. Quackleben, +shutting up his case with great coolness; "your case is oedematous, +and you treat it your own way--you are as good a physician as I am, and +I never interfere with another practitioner's patient." + +"Well, Doctor," said Winterblossom, "I must wait till Sir Bingo comes +in--he has a hunting-flask usually about him, which contains as good +medicine as yours to the full." + +"You will wait for Sir Bingo some time," said the Doctor; "he is a +gentleman of sedentary habits--he has ordered another magnum." + +"Sir Bingo is an unco name for a man o' quality, dinna ye think sae, Dr. +Cocklehen?" said Mrs. Blower. "John Blower, when he was a wee bit in the +wind's eye, as he ca'd it, puir fallow--used to sing a sang about a dog +they ca'd Bingo, that suld hae belanged to a farmer." + +"Our Bingo is but a puppy yet, madam--or if a dog, he is a sad dog," +said Mr. Winterblossom, applauding his own wit, by one of his own +inimitable smiles. + +"Or a mad dog, rather," said Mr. Chatterly, "for he drinks no water;" +and he also smiled gracefully at the thoughts of having trumped, as it +were, the president's pun. + +"Twa pleasant men, Doctor," said the widow, "and so is Sir Bungy too, +for that matter; but O! is nae it a pity he should bide sae lang by the +bottle? It was puir John Blower's faut too, that weary tippling; when he +wan to the lee-side of a bowl of punch, there was nae raising him.--But +they are taking awa the things, and, Doctor, is it not an awfu' thing +that the creature-comforts should hae been used without grace or +thanksgiving?--that Mr. Chitterling, if he really be a minister, has +muckle to answer for, that he neglects his Master's service." + +"Why, madam," said the Doctor, "Mr. Chatterly is scarce arrived at the +rank of a minister plenipotentiary." + +"A minister potentiary--ah, Doctor, I doubt that is some jest of yours," +said the widow; "that's sae like puir John Blower. When I wad hae had +him gie up the lovely Peggy, ship and cargo, (the vessel was named after +me, Doctor Kittleben,) to be remembered in the prayers o' the +congregation, he wad say to me, 'they may pray that stand the risk, +Peggy Bryce, for I've made insurance.' He was a merry man, Doctor; but +he had the root of the matter in him, for a' his light way of speaking, +as deep as ony skipper that ever loosed anchor from Leith Roads. I hae +been a forsaken creature since his death--O the weary days and nights +that I have had!--and the weight on the spirits--the spirits, +Doctor!--though I canna say I hae been easier since I hae been at the +Wall than even now--if I kend what I was awing ye for elickstir, Doctor, +for it's done me muckle heart's good, forby the opening of my mind to +you." + +"Fie, fie, ma'am," said the Doctor, as the widow pulled out a seal-skin +pouch, such as sailors carry tobacco in, but apparently well stuffed +with bank-notes,--"Fie, fie, madam--I am no apothecary--I have my +diploma from Leyden--a regular physician, madam,--the elixir is heartily +at your service; and should you want any advice, no man will be prouder +to assist you than your humble servant." + +"I am sure I am muckle obliged to your kindness, Dr. Kickalpin," said +the widow, folding up her pouch; "this was puir John Blower's +_spleuchan_,[I-16] as they ca' it--I e'en wear it for his sake. He was a +kind man, and left me comfortable in warld's gudes; but comforts hae +their cumbers,--to be a lone woman is a sair weird, Dr. Kittlepin." + +Dr. Quackleben drew his chair a little nearer that of the widow, and +entered into a closer communication with her, in a tone doubtless of +more delicate consolation than was fit for the ears of the company at +large. + +One of the chief delights of a watering-place is, that every one's +affairs seem to be put under the special surveillance of the whole +company, so that, in all probability, the various flirtations, +_liaisons_, and so forth, which naturally take place in the society, are +not only the subject of amusement to the parties engaged, but also to +the lookers on; that is to say, generally speaking, to the whole +community, of which for the time the said parties are members. Lady +Penelope, the presiding goddess of the region, watchful over all her +circle, was not long of observing that the Doctor seemed to be suddenly +engaged in close communication with the widow, and that he had even +ventured to take hold of her fair plump hand, with a manner which +partook at once of the gallant suitor, and of the medical adviser. + +"For the love of Heaven," said her ladyship, "who can that comely dame +be, on whom our excellent and learned Doctor looks with such uncommon +regard?" + +"Fat, fair, and forty," said Mr. Winterblossom; "that is all I know of +her--a mercantile person." + +"A carrack, Sir President," said the chaplain, "richly laden with +colonial produce, by name the Lovely Peggy Bryce--no master--the late +John Blower of North Leith having pushed off his boat for the Stygian +Creek, and left the vessel without a hand on board." + +"The Doctor," said Lady Penelope, turning her glass towards them, "seems +willing to play the part of pilot." + +"I dare say he will be willing to change her name and register," said +Mr. Chatterly. + +"He can be no less in common requital," said Winterblossom. "She has +changed _his_ name six times in the five minutes that I stood within +hearing of them." + +"What do you think of the matter, my dear Lady Binks?" said Lady +Penelope. + +"Madam?" said Lady Binks, starting from a reverie, and answering as one +who either had not heard, or did not understand the question. + +"I mean, what think you of what is going on yonder?" + +Lady Binks turned her glass in the direction of Lady Penelope's glance, +fixed the widow and the Doctor with one bold fashionable stare, and then +dropping her hand slowly, said with indifference, "I really see nothing +there worth thinking about." + +"I dare say it is a fine thing to be married," said Lady Penelope; +"one's thoughts, I suppose, are so much engrossed with one's own perfect +happiness, that they have neither time nor inclination to laugh like +other folks. Miss Rachel Bonnyrigg would have laughed till her eyes ran +over, had she seen what Lady Binks cares so little about--I dare say it +must be an all-sufficient happiness to be married." + +"He would be a happy man that could convince your ladyship of that in +good earnest," said Mr. Winterblossom. + +"Oh, who knows--the whim may strike me," replied the lady; "but +no--no--no;--and that is three times." + +"Say it sixteen times more," said the gallant president, "and let +nineteen nay-says be a grant." + +"If I should say a thousand Noes, there exists not the alchymy in living +man that could extract one Yes out of the whole mass," said her +ladyship. "Blessed be the memory of Queen Bess!--She set us all an +example to keep power when we have it--What noise is that?" + +"Only the usual after-dinner quarrel," said the divine. "I hear the +Captain's voice, else most silent, commanding them to keep peace, in the +devil's name and that of the ladies." + +"Upon my word, dearest Lady Binks, this is too bad of that lord and +master of yours, and of Mowbray, who might have more sense, and of the +rest of that claret-drinking set, to be quarrelling and alarming our +nerves every evening with presenting their pistols perpetually at each +other, like sportsmen confined to the house upon a rainy 12th of August. +I am tired of the Peace-maker--he but skins the business over in one +case to have it break out elsewhere.--What think you, love, if we were +to give out in orders, that the next quarrel which may arise, shall be +_bona fide_ fought to an end?--We will all go out and see it, and wear +the colours on each side; and if there should a funeral come of it, we +will attend it in a body.--Weeds are so becoming!--Are they not, my dear +Lady Binks? Look at Widow Blower in her deep black--don't you envy her, +my love?" + +Lady Binks seemed about to make a sharp and hasty answer, but checked +herself, perhaps under the recollection that she could not prudently +come to an open breach with Lady Penelope.--At the same moment the door +opened, and a lady dressed in a riding-habit, and wearing a black veil +over her hat, appeared at the entry of the apartment. + +"Angels and ministers of grace!" exclaimed Lady Penelope, with her very +best tragic start--"my dearest Clara, why so late? and why thus? Will +you step to my dressing-room--Jones will get you one of my gowns--we are +just of a size, you know--do, pray--let me be vain of something of my +own for once, by seeing you wear it." + +This was spoken in the tone of the fondest female friendship, and at the +same time the fair hostess bestowed on Miss Mowbray one of those tender +caresses, which ladies--God bless them!--sometimes bestow on each other +with unnecessary prodigality, to the great discontent and envy of the +male spectators. + +"You are fluttered, my dearest Clara--you are feverish--I am sure you +are," continued the sweetly anxious Lady Penelope; "let me persuade you +to lie down." + +"Indeed you are mistaken, Lady Penelope," said Miss Mowbray, who seemed +to receive much as a matter of course her ladyship's profusion of +affectionate politeness:--"I am heated, and my pony trotted hard, that +is the whole mystery.--Let me have a cup of tea, Mrs. Jones, and the +matter is ended." + +"Fresh tea, Jones, directly," said Lady Penelope, and led her passive +friend to her own corner, as she was pleased to call the recess, in +which she held her little court--ladies and gentlemen curtsying and +bowing as she passed; to which civilities the new guest made no more +return, than the most ordinary politeness rendered unavoidable. + +Lady Binks did not rise to receive her, but sat upright in her chair, +and bent her head very stiffly; a courtesy which Miss Mowbray returned +in the same stately manner, without farther greeting on either side. + +"Now, wha can that be, Doctor?" said the Widow Blower--"mind ye have +promised to tell me all about the grand folk--wha can that be that Leddy +Penelope hauds such a racket wi'?--and what for does she come wi' a +habit and a beaver-hat, when we are a' (a glance at her own gown) in our +silks and satins?" + +"To tell you who she is, my dear Mrs. Blower, is very easy," said the +officious Doctor. "She is Miss Clara Mowbray, sister to the Lord of the +Manor--the gentleman who wears the green coat, with an arrow on the +cape. To tell why she wears that habit, or does any thing else, would be +rather beyond doctor's skill. Truth is, I have always thought she was a +little--a very little--touched--call it nerves--hypochondria--or what +you will." + +"Lord help us, puir thing!" said the compassionate widow.--"And troth it +looks like it. But it's a shame to let her go loose, Doctor--she might +hurt hersell, or somebody. See, she has ta'en the knife!--O, it's only +to cut a shave of the diet-loaf. She winna let the powder-monkey of a +boy help her. There's judgment in that though, Doctor, for she can cut +thick or thin as she likes.--Dear me! she has not taken mair than a +crumb, than ane would pit between the wires of a canary-bird's cage, +after all.--I wish she would lift up that lang veil, or put off that +riding-skirt, Doctor. She should really be showed the regulations, +Doctor Kickelshin." + +"She cares about no rules we can make, Mrs. Blower," said the Doctor; +"and her brother's will and pleasure, and Lady Penelope's whim of +indulging her, carry her through in every thing. They should take +advice on her case." + +"Ay, truly, it's time to take advice, when young creatures like her +caper in amang dressed leddies, just as if they were come from +scampering on Leith sands.--Such a wark as my leddy makes wi' her, +Doctor! Ye would think they were baith fools of a feather." + +"They might have flown on one wing, for what I know," said Dr. +Quackleben; "but there was early and sound advice taken in Lady +Penelope's case. My friend, the late Earl of Featherhead, was a man of +judgment--did little in his family but by rule of medicine--so that, +what with the waters, and what with my own care, Lady Penelope is only +freakish--fanciful--that's all--and her quality bears it out--the +peccant principle might have broken out under other treatment." + +"Ay--she has been weel-friended," said the widow; "but this bairn +Mowbray, puir thing! how came she to be sae left to hersell?" + +"Her mother was dead--her father thought of nothing but his sports," +said the Doctor. "Her brother was educated in England, and cared for +nobody but himself, if he had been here. What education she got was at +her own hand--what reading she read was in a library full of old +romances--what friends or company she had was what chance sent her--then +no family-physician, not even a good surgeon, within ten miles! And so +you cannot wonder if the poor thing became unsettled." + +"Puir thing!--no doctor!--nor even a surgeon!--But, Doctor," said the +widow, "maybe the puir thing had the enjoyment of her health, ye ken, +and, then"---- + +"Ah! ha, ha!--why _then_, madam, she needed a physician far more than if +she had been delicate. A skilful physician, Mrs. Blower, knows how to +bring down that robust health, which is a very alarming state of the +frame when it is considered _secundum artem_. Most sudden deaths happen +when people are in a robust state of health. Ah! that state of perfect +health is what the doctor dreads most on behalf of his patient." + +"Ay, ay, Doctor?--I am quite sensible, nae doubt," said the widow, "of +the great advantage of having a skeelfu' person about ane." + +Here the Doctor's voice, in his earnestness to convince Mrs. Blower of +the danger of supposing herself capable of living and breathing without +a medical man's permission, sunk into a soft pleading tone, of which our +reporter could not catch the sound. He was, as great orators will +sometimes be, "inaudible in the gallery." + +Meanwhile, Lady Penelope overwhelmed Clara Mowbray with her caresses. In +what degree her ladyship, at her heart, loved this young person, might +be difficult to ascertain,--probably in the degree in which a child +loves a favourite toy. But Clara was a toy not always to be come by--as +whimsical in her way as her ladyship in her own, only that poor Clara's +singularities were real, and her ladyship's chiefly affected. Without +adopting the harshness of the Doctor's conclusions concerning the +former, she was certainly unequal in her spirits; and her occasional +fits of levity were chequered by very long intervals of sadness. Her +levity also appeared, in the world's eye, greater than it really was; +for she had never been under the restraint of society which was really +good, and entertained an undue contempt for that which she sometimes +mingled with; having unhappily none to teach her the important truth, +that some forms and restraints are to be observed, less in respect to +others than to ourselves. Her dress, her manners, and her ideas, were +therefore very much her own; and though they became her wonderfully, +yet, like Ophelia's garlands, and wild snatches of melody, they were +calculated to excite compassion and melancholy, even while they amused +the observer. + +"And why came you not to dinner?--We expected you--your throne was +prepared." + +"I had scarce come to tea," said Miss Mowbray, "of my own freewill. But +my brother says your ladyship proposes to come to Shaws-Castle, and he +insisted it was quite right and necessary, to confirm you in so +flattering a purpose, that I should come and say, Pray do, Lady +Penelope; and so now here am I to say, Pray, do come." + +"Is an invitation so flattering limited to me alone, my dear +Clara?--Lady Binks will be jealous." + +"Bring Lady Binks, if she has the condescension to honour us"--[a bow +was very stiffly exchanged between the ladies]--"bring Mr. +Springblossom--Winterblossom--and all the lions and lionesses--we have +room for the whole collection. My brother, I suppose, will bring his own +particular regiment of bears, which, with the usual assortment of +monkeys seen in all caravans, will complete the menagerie. How you are +to be entertained at Shaws-Castle, is, I thank Heaven, not my business, +but John's." + +"We shall want no formal entertainment, my love," said Lady Penelope; "a +_dejeuner a la fourchette_--we know, Clara, you would die of doing the +honours of a formal dinner." + +"Not a bit; I should live long enough to make my will, and bequeath all +large parties to old Nick, who invented them." + +"Miss Mowbray," said Lady Binks, who had been thwarted by this +free-spoken young lady, both in her former character of a coquette and +romp, and in that of a prude which she at present wore--"Miss Mowbray +declares for + + 'Champagne and a chicken at last.'" + +"The chicken without the champagne, if you please," said Miss Mowbray; +"I have known ladies pay dear to have champagne on the board.--By the +by, Lady Penelope, you have not your collection in the same order and +discipline as Pidcock and Polito. There was much growling and snarling +in the lower den when I passed it." + +"It was feeding-time, my love," said Lady Penelope; "and the lower +animals of every class become pugnacious at that hour--you see all our +safer and well-conditioned animals are loose, and in good order." + +"Oh, yes--in the keeper's presence, you know--Well, I must venture to +cross the hall again among all that growling and grumbling--I would I +had the fairy prince's quarters of mutton to toss among them if they +should break out--He, I mean, who fetched water from the Fountain of +Lions. However, on second thoughts, I will take the back way, and avoid +them.--What says honest Bottom?-- + + 'For if they should as lions come in strife + Into such place, 'twere pity of their life.'" + +"Shall I go with you, my dear?" said Lady Penelope. + +"No--I have too great a soul for that--I think some of them are lions +only as far as the hide is concerned." + +"But why would you go so soon, Clara?" + +"Because my errand is finished--have I not invited you and yours? and +would not Lord Chesterfield himself allow I have done the polite thing?" + +"But you have spoke to none of the company--how can you be so odd, my +love?" said her ladyship. + +"Why, I spoke to them all when I spoke to you and Lady Binks--but I am a +good girl, and will do as I am bid." + +So saying, she looked round the company, and addressed each of them with +an affectation of interest and politeness, which thinly concealed scorn +and contempt. + +"Mr. Winterblossom, I hope the gout is better--Mr. Robert Rymar--(I have +escaped calling him Thomas for once)--I hope the public give +encouragement to the muses--Mr. Keelavine, I trust your pencil is +busy--Mr. Chatterly, I have no doubt your flock improves--Dr. +Quackleben, I am sure your patients recover--These are all the especials +of the worthy company I know--for the rest, health to the sick, and +pleasure to the healthy!" + +"You are not going in reality, my love?" said Lady Penelope; "these +hasty rides agitate your nerves--they do, indeed--you should be +cautious--Shall I speak to Quackleben?" + +"To neither Quack nor quackle, on my account, my dear lady. It is not as +you would seem to say, by your winking at Lady Binks--it is not, +indeed--I shall be no Lady Clementina, to be the wonder and pity of the +spring of St. Ronan's--No Ophelia neither--though I will say with her, +Good-night, ladies--Good night, sweet ladies!--and now--not my coach, my +coach--but my horse, my horse!" + +So saying, she tripped out of the room by a side passage, leaving the +ladies looking at each other significantly, and shaking their heads with +an expression of much import. + +"Something has ruffled the poor unhappy girl," said Lady Penelope; "I +never saw her so very odd before." + +"Were I to speak my mind," said Lady Binks, "I think, as Mrs. Highmore +says in the farce, her madness is but a poor excuse for her +impertinence." + +"Oh fie! my sweet Lady Binks," said Lady Penelope, "spare my poor +favourite! You, surely, of all others, should forgive the excesses of an +amiable eccentricity of temper.--Forgive me, my love, but I must defend +an absent friend--My Lady Binks, I am very sure, is too generous and +candid to + + 'Hate for arts which caused herself to rise.'" + +"Not being conscious of any high elevation, my lady," answered Lady +Binks, "I do not know any arts I have been under the necessity of +practising to attain it. I suppose a Scotch lady of an ancient family +may become the wife of an English baronet, and no very extraordinary +great cause to wonder at it." + +"No, surely--but people in this world will, you know, wonder at +nothing," answered Lady Penelope. + +"If you envy me my poor quiz, Sir Bingo, I'll get you a better, Lady +Pen." + +"I don't doubt your talents, my dear, but when I want one, I will get +one for myself.--But here comes the whole party of quizzes.--Joliffe, +offer the gentlemen tea--then get the floor ready for the dancers, and +set the card-tables in the next room." + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-15] The late Dr. Gregory is probably intimated, as one of the +celebrated Dr. Cullen's personal habits is previously mentioned. Dr. +Gregory was distinguished for putting his patients on a severe regimen. + +[I-16] A fur pouch for keeping tobacco. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +AFTER DINNER. + + They draw the cork, they broach the barrel, + And first they kiss, and then they quarrel. + +PRIOR. + + +If the reader has attended much to the manners of the canine race, he +may have remarked the very different manner in which the individuals of +the different sexes carry on their quarrels among each other. The +females are testy, petulant, and very apt to indulge their impatient +dislike of each other's presence, or the spirit of rivalry which it +produces, in a sudden bark and snap, which last is generally made as +much at advantage as possible. But these ebullitions of peevishness lead +to no very serious or prosecuted conflict; the affair begins and ends in +a moment. Not so the ire of the male dogs, which, once produced and +excited by growls of mutual offence and defiance, leads generally to a +fierce and obstinate contest; in which, if the parties be dogs of game, +and well-matched, they grapple, throttle, tear, roll each other in the +kennel, and can only be separated by choking them with their own +collars, till they lose wind and hold at the same time, or by surprising +them out of their wrath by sousing them with cold water. + +The simile, though a currish one, will hold good in its application to +the human race. While the ladies in the tea-room of the Fox Hotel were +engaged in the light snappish velitation, or skirmish, which we have +described, the gentlemen who remained in the parlour were more than once +like to have quarrelled more seriously. + +We have mentioned the weighty reasons which induced Mr. Mowbray to look +upon the stranger whom a general invitation had brought into their +society, with unfavourable prepossessions; and these were far from being +abated by the demeanour of Tyrrel, which, though perfectly well-bred, +indicated a sense of equality, which the young Laird of St. Ronan's +considered as extremely presumptuous. + +As for Sir Bingo, he already began to nourish the genuine hatred always +entertained by a mean spirit against an antagonist, before whom it is +conscious of having made a dishonourable retreat. He forgot not the +manner, look, and tone, with which Tyrrel had checked his unauthorized +intrusion; and though he had sunk beneath it at the moment, the +recollection rankled in his heart as an affront to be avenged. As he +drank his wine, courage, the want of which was, in his more sober +moments, a check upon his bad temper, began to inflame his malignity, +and he ventured upon several occasions to show his spleen, by +contradicting Tyrrel more flatly than good manners permitted upon so +short an acquaintance, and without any provocation. Tyrrel saw his ill +humour and despised it, as that of an overgrown schoolboy, whom it was +not worth his while to answer according to his folly. + +One of the apparent causes of the Baronet's rudeness was indeed childish +enough. The company were talking of shooting, the most animating topic +of conversation among Scottish country gentlemen of the younger class, +and Tyrrel had mentioned something of a favourite setter, an uncommonly +handsome dog, from which he had been for some time separated, but which +he expected would rejoin him in the course of next week. + +"A setter!" retorted Sir Bingo, with a sneer; "a pointer I suppose you +mean?" + +"No, sir," said Tyrrel; "I am perfectly aware of the difference betwixt +a setter and a pointer, and I know the old-fashioned setter is become +unfashionable among modern sportsmen. But I love my dog as a companion, +as well as for his merits in the field; and a setter is more sagacious, +more attached, and fitter for his place on the hearth-rug, than a +pointer--not," he added, "from any deficiency of intellects on the +pointer's part, but he is generally so abused while in the management of +brutal breakers and grooms, that he loses all excepting his professional +accomplishments, of finding and standing steady to game." + +"And who the d----l desires he should have more?" said Sir Bingo. + +"Many people, Sir Bingo," replied Tyrrel, "have been of opinion, that +both dogs and men may follow sport indifferently well, though they do +happen, at the same time, to be fit for mixing in friendly intercourse +in society." + +"That is for licking trenchers, and scratching copper, I suppose," said +the Baronet, _sotto voce_; and added, in a louder and more distinct +tone,--"He never before heard that a setter was fit to follow any man's +heels but a poacher's." + +"You know it now then, Sir Bingo," answered Tyrrel; "and I hope you will +not fall into so great a mistake again." + +The Peace-maker here seemed to think his interference necessary, and, +surmounting his tactiturnity, made the following pithy speech:--"By Cot! +and do you see, as you are looking for my opinion, I think there is no +dispute in the matter--because, by Cot! it occurs to me, d'ye see, that +ye are both right, by Cot! It may do fery well for my excellent friend +Sir Bingo, who hath stables, and kennels, and what not, to maintain the +six filthy prutes that are yelping and yowling all the tay, and all the +neight too, under my window, by Cot!--And if they are yelping and +yowling there, may I never die but I wish they were yelping and yowling +somewhere else. But then there is many a man who may be as cood a +gentleman at the bottom as my worthy friend Sir Bingo, though it may be +that he is poor; and if he is poor--and as if it might be my own case, +or that of this honest gentleman, Mr. Tirl--is that a reason or a law, +that he is not to keep a prute of a tog, to help him to take his sports +and his pleasures? and if he has not a stable or a kennel to put the +crature into, must he not keep it in his pit of ped-room, or upon his +parlour hearth, seeing that Luckie Dods would make the kitchen too hot +for the paist--and so, if Mr. Tirl finds a setter more fitter for his +purpose than a pointer, by Cot, I know no law against it, else may I +never die the black death." + +If this oration appear rather long for the occasion, the reader must +recollect that Captain MacTurk had in all probability the trouble of +translating it from the periphrastic language of Ossian, in which it was +originally conceived in his own mind. + +The Man of Law replied to the Man of Peace, "Ye are mistaken for ance in +your life, Captain, for there is a law against setters; and I will +undertake to prove them to be the 'lying dogs,' which are mentioned in +the auld Scots statute, and which all and sundry are discharged to keep, +under a penalty of"---- + +Here the Captain broke in, with a very solemn mien and dignified +manner--"By Cot! Master Meiklewham, and I shall be asking what you mean +by talking to me of peing mistaken, and apout lying togs, sir--because I +would have you to know, and to pelieve, and to very well consider, that +I never was mistaken in my life, sir, unless it was when I took you for +a gentleman." + +"No offence, Captain," said Mr. Meiklewham; "dinna break the wand of +peace, man, you that should be the first to keep it.--He is as +cankered," continued the Man of Law, apart to his patron, "as an auld +Hieland terrier, that snaps at whatever comes near it--but I tell you ae +thing, St. Ronan's, and that is on saul and conscience, that I believe +this is the very lad Tirl, that I raised a summons against before the +justices--him and another hempie--in your father's time, for shooting on +the Spring-well-head muirs." + +"The devil you did, Mick!" replied the Lord of the Manor, also +aside;--"Well, I am obliged to you for giving me some reason for the ill +thoughts I had of him--I knew he was some trumpery scamp--I'll blow him, +by"---- + +"Whisht--stop--hush--haud your tongue, St. Ronan's,--keep a calm +sough--ye see, I intended the process, by your worthy father's desire, +before the Quarter Sessions--but I ken na--The auld sheriff-clerk stood +the lad's friend--and some of the justices thought it was but a mistake +of the marches, and sae we couldna get a judgment--and your father was +very ill of the gout, and I was feared to vex him, and so I was fain to +let the process sleep, for fear they had been assoilzied.--Sae ye had +better gang cautiously to wark, St. Ronan's, for though they were +summoned, they were not convict." + +"Could you not take up the action again?" said Mr. Mowbray. + +"Whew! it's been prescribed sax or seeven year syne. It is a great +shame, St. Ronan's, that the game laws, whilk are the very best +protection that is left to country gentlemen against the encroachment of +their inferiors, rin sae short a course of prescription--a poacher may +just jink ye back and forward like a flea in a blanket, (wi' +pardon)--hap ye out of ae county and into anither at their pleasure, +like pyots--and unless ye get your thum-nail on them in the very nick o' +time, ye may dine on a dish of prescription, and sup upon an +absolvitor." + +"It is a shame indeed," said Mowbray, turning from his confident and +agent, and addressing himself to the company in general, yet not without +a peculiar look directed to Tyrrel. + +"What is a shame, sir?" said Tyrrel, conceiving that the observation was +particularly addressed to him. + +"That we should have so many poachers upon our muirs, sir," answered St. +Ronan's. "I sometimes regret having countenanced the Well here, when I +think how many guns it has brought on my property every season." + +"Hout fie! hout awa, St. Ronan's!" said his Man of Law; "no countenance +the Waal? What would the country-side be without it, I would be glad to +ken? It's the greatest improvement that has been made on this country +since the year forty-five. Na, na, it's no the Waal that's to blame for +the poaching and delinquencies on the game. We maun to the Aultoun for +the howf of that kind of cattle. Our rules at the Waal are clear and +express against trespassers on the game." + +"I can't think," said the Squire, "what made my father sell the property +of the old change-house yonder, to the hag that keeps it open out of +spite, I think, and to harbour poachers and vagabonds!--I cannot +conceive what made him do so foolish a thing!" + +"Probably because your father wanted money, sir," said Tyrrel, dryly; +"and my worthy landlady, Mrs. Dods, had got some.--You know, I presume, +sir, that I lodge there?" + +"Oh, sir," replied Mowbray, in a tone betwixt scorn and civility, "you +cannot suppose the present company is alluded to; I only presumed to +mention as a fact, that we have been annoyed with unqualified people +shooting on our grounds, without either liberty or license. And I hope +to have her sign taken down for it--that is all.--There was the same +plague in my father's days, I think, Mick?" + +But Mr. Meiklewham, who did not like Tyrrel's looks so well as to induce +him to become approver on the occasion, replied with an inarticulate +grunt, addressed to the company, and a private admonition to his +patron's own ear, "to let sleeping dogs lie." + +"I can scarce forbear the fellow," said St. Ronan's; "and yet I cannot +well tell where my dislike to him lies--but it would be d----d folly to +turn out with him for nothing; and so, honest Mick, I will be as quiet +as I can." + +"And that you may be so," said Meiklewham, "I think you had best take no +more wine." + +"I think so too," said the Squire; "for each glass I drink in his +company gives me the heartburn--yet the man is not different from other +raffs either--but there is a something about him intolerable to me." + +So saying, he pushed back his chair from the table, and--_regis ad +exemplar_--after the pattern of the Laird, all the company arose. + +Sir Bingo got up with reluctance, which he testified by two or three +deep growls, as he followed the rest of the company into the outer +apartment, which served as an entrance-hall, and divided the +dining-parlour from the tea-room, as it was called. Here, while the +party were assuming their hats, for the purpose of joining the ladies' +society, (which old-fashioned folk used only to take up for that of +going into the open air,) Tyrrel asked a smart footman, who stood near, +to hand him the hat which lay on the table beyond. + +"Call your own servant, sir," answered the fellow, with the true +insolence of a pampered menial. + +"Your master," answered Tyrrel, "ought to have taught you good manners, +my friend, before bringing you here." + +"Sir Bingo Binks is my master," said the fellow, in the same insolent +tone as before. + +"Now for it, Bingie," said Mowbray, who was aware that the Baronet's +pot-courage had arrived at fighting pitch. + +"Yes!" said Sir Bingo aloud, and more articulately than usual--"The +fellow is my servant--what has any one to say to it?" + +"I at least have my mouth stopped," answered Tyrrel, with perfect +composure. "I should have been surprised to have found Sir Bingo's +servant better bred than himself." + +"What d'ye mean by that, sir?" said Sir Bingo, coming up in an offensive +attitude, for he was no mean pupil of the Fives-Court--"What d'ye mean +by that? D----n you, sir! I'll serve you out before you can say +dumpling." + +"And I, Sir Bingo, unless you presently lay aside that look and manner, +will knock you down before you can cry help." + +The visitor held in his hand a slip of oak, with which he gave a +flourish, that, however slight, intimated some acquaintance with the +noble art of single-stick. From this demonstration Sir Bingo thought it +prudent somewhat to recoil, though backed by a party of friends, who, in +their zeal for his honour, would rather have seen his bones broken in +conflict bold, than his honour injured by a discreditable retreat; and +Tyrrel seemed to have some inclination to indulge them. But, at the very +instant when his hand was raised with a motion of no doubtful import, a +whispering voice, close to his ear, pronounced the emphatic words--"Are +you a man?" + +Not the thrilling tone with which our inimitable Siddons used to +electrify the scene, when she uttered the same whisper, ever had a more +powerful effect upon an auditor, than had these unexpected sounds on +him, to whom they were now addressed. Tyrrel forgot every thing--his +quarrel--the circumstances in which he was placed--the company. The +crowd was to him at once annihilated, and life seemed to have no other +object than to follow the person who had spoken. But suddenly as he +turned, the disappearance of the monitor was at least equally so, for, +amid the group of commonplace countenances by which he was surrounded, +there was none which assorted to the tone and words, which possessed +such a power over him. "Make way," he said, to those who surrounded him; +and it was in the tone of one who was prepared, if necessary, to make +way for himself. + +Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's stepped forward. "Come, sir," said he, "this +will not do--you have come here, a stranger among us, to assume airs and +dignities, which, by G--d, would become a duke, or a prince! We must +know who or what you are, before we permit you to carry your high tone +any farther." + +This address seemed at once to arrest Tyrrel's anger, and his impatience +to leave the company. He turned to Mowbray, collected his thoughts for +an instant, and then answered him thus:--"Mr. Mowbray, I seek no quarrel +with any one here--with you, in particular, I am most unwilling to have +any disagreement. I came here by invitation, not certainly expecting +much pleasure, but, at the same time, supposing myself secure from +incivility. In the last point, I find myself mistaken, and therefore +wish the company good-night. I must also make my adieus to the ladies." + +So saying, he walked several steps, yet, as it seemed, rather +irresolutely, towards the door of the card-room--and then, to the +increased surprise of the company, stopped suddenly, and muttering +something about the "unfitness of the time," turned on his heel, and +bowing haughtily, as there was way made for him, walked in the opposite +direction towards the door which led to the outer hall. + +"D----me, Sir Bingo, will you let him off?" said Mowbray, who seemed to +delight in pushing his friend into new scrapes--"To him, man--to him--he +shows the white feather." + +Sir Bingo, thus encouraged, planted himself with a look of defiance +exactly between Tyrrel and the door; upon which the retreating guest, +bestowing on him most emphatically the epithet Fool, seized him by the +collar, and flung him out of his way with some violence. + +"I am to be found at the Old Town of St. Ronan's by whomsoever has any +concern with me."--Without waiting the issue of this aggression farther +than to utter these words, Tyrrel left the hotel. He stopped in the +court-yard, however, with the air of one uncertain whither he intended +to go, and who was desirous to ask some question, which seemed to die +upon his tongue. At length his eye fell upon a groom, who stood not far +from the door of the inn, holding in his hand a handsome pony, with a +side-saddle. + +"Whose"----said Tyrrel--but the rest of the question he seemed unable to +utter. + +The man, however, replied, as if he had heard the whole +interrogation.--"Miss Mowbray's, sir, of St. Ronan's--she leaves +directly--and so I am walking the pony--a clever thing, sir, for a +lady." + +"She returns to Shaws-Castle by the Buck-stane road?" + +"I suppose so, sir," said the groom. "It is the nighest, and Miss Clara +cares little for rough roads. Zounds! She can spank it over wet and +dry." + +Tyrrel turned away from the man, and hastily left the hotel--not, +however, by the road which led to the Aultoun, but by a footpath among +the natural copsewood, which, following the course of the brook, +intersected the usual horse-road to Shaws-Castle, the seat of Mr. +Mowbray, at a romantic spot called the Buck-stane. + +In a small peninsula, formed by a winding of the brook, was situated, on +a rising hillock, a large rough-hewn pillar of stone, said by tradition +to commemorate the fall of a stag of unusual speed, size, and strength, +whose flight, after having lasted through a whole summer's day, had +there terminated in death, to the honour and glory of some ancient baron +of St. Ronan's, and of his stanch hounds. During the periodical cuttings +of the copse, which the necessities of the family of St. Ronan's brought +round more frequently than Ponty would have recommended, some oaks had +been spared in the neighbourhood of this massive obelisk, old enough +perhaps to have heard the whoop and halloo which followed the fall of +the stag, and to have witnessed the raising of the rude monument by +which that great event was commemorated. These trees, with their broad +spreading boughs, made a twilight even of noon-day; and, now that the +sun was approaching its setting point, their shade already anticipated +night. This was especially the case where three or four of them +stretched their arms over a deep gully, through which winded the +horse-path to Shaws-Castle, at a point about a pistol-shot distant from +the Buck-stane. As the principal access to Mr. Mowbray's mansion was by +a carriage-way, which passed in a different direction, the present path +was left almost in a state of nature, full of large stones, and broken +by gullies, delightful, from the varied character of its banks, to the +picturesque traveller, and most inconvenient, nay dangerous, to him who +had a stumbling horse. + +The footpath to the Buck-stane, which here joined the bridle-road, had +been constructed, at the expense of a subscription, under the direction +of Mr. Winterblossom, who had taste enough to see the beauties of this +secluded spot, which was exactly such as in earlier times might have +harboured the ambush of some marauding chief. This recollection had not +escaped Tyrrel, to whom the whole scenery was familiar, who now hastened +to the spot, as one which peculiarly suited his present purpose. He sat +down by one of the larger projecting trees, and, screened by its +enormous branches from observation, was enabled to watch the road from +the Hotel for a great part of its extent, while he was himself invisible +to any who might travel upon it. + +Meanwhile his sudden departure excited a considerable sensation among +the party whom he had just left, and who were induced to form +conclusions not very favourable to his character. Sir Bingo, in +particular, blustered loudly and more loudly, in proportion to the +increasing distance betwixt himself and his antagonist, declaring his +resolution to be revenged on the scoundrel for his insolence--to drive +him from the neighbourhood--and I know not what other menaces of +formidable import. The devil, in the old stories of _diablerie_, was +always sure to start up at the elbow of any one who nursed diabolical +purposes, and only wanted a little backing from the foul fiend to carry +his imaginations into action. The noble Captain MacTurk had so far this +property of his infernal majesty, that the least hint of an approaching +quarrel drew him always to the vicinity of the party concerned. He was +now at Sir Bingo's side, and was taking his own view of the matter, in +his character of peace-maker. + +"By Cot! and it's very exceedingly true, my goot friend, Sir Binco--and +as you say, it concerns your honour, and the honour of the place, and +credit and character of the whole company, by Cot! that this matter be +properly looked after; for, as I think, he laid hands on your body, my +excellent goot friend." + +"Hands, Captain MacTurk!" exclaimed Sir Bingo, in some confusion; "no, +blast him--not so bad as that neither--if he had, I should have handed +_him_ over the window--but, by ----, the fellow had the impudence to +offer to collar me--I had just stepped back to square at him, when, +curse me, the blackguard ran away." + +"Right, vara right, Sir Bingo," said the Man of Law, "a vara perfect +blackguard, a poaching sorning sort of fallow, that I will have scoured +out of the country before he be three days aulder. Fash you your beard +nae farther about the matter, Sir Bingo." + +"By Cot! but I can tell you, Mr. Meiklewham," said the Man of Peace, +with great solemnity of visage, "that you are scalding your lips in +other folk's kale, and that it is necessary for the credit, and honour, +and respect of this company, at the Well of St. Ronan's, that Sir Bingo +goes by more competent advice than yours upon the present occasion, Mr. +Meiklewham; for though your counsel may do very well in a small debt +court, here, you see, Mr. Meiklewham, is a question of honour, which is +not a thing in your line, as I take it." + +"No, before George! it is not," answered Meiklewham; "e'en take it all +to yoursell, Captain, and meikle ye are likely to make on't." + +"Then," said the Captain, "Sir Binco, I will beg the favour of your +company to the smoking room, where we may have a cigar and a glass of +gin-twist; and we will consider how the honour of the company must be +supported and upholden upon the present conjuncture." + +The Baronet complied with this invitation, as much, perhaps, in +consequence of the medium through which the Captain intended to convey +his warlike counsels, as for the pleasure with which he anticipated the +result of these counsels themselves. He followed the military step of +his leader, whose stride was more stiff, and his form more +perpendicular, when exalted by the consciousness of an approaching +quarrel, to the smoking-room, where, sighing as he lighted his cigar, +Sir Bingo prepared to listen to the words of wisdom and valour, as they +should flow in mingled stream from the lips of Captain MacTurk. + +Meanwhile the rest of the company joined the ladies. "Here has been +Clara," said Lady Penelope to Mr. Mowbray; "here has been Miss Mowbray +among us, like the ray of a sun which does but dazzle and die." + +"Ah, poor Clara," said Mowbray; "I thought I saw her thread her way +through the crowd a little while since, but I was not sure." + +"Well," said Lady Penelope, "she has asked us all up to Shaws-Castle on +Thursday, to a _dejeuner a la fourchette_--I trust you confirm your +sister's invitation, Mr. Mowbray?" + +"Certainly, Lady Penelope," replied Mowbray; "and I am truly glad Clara +has had the grace to think of it--How we shall acquit ourselves is a +different question, for neither she nor I are much accustomed to play +host or hostess." + +"Oh! it will be delightful, I am sure," said Lady Penelope; "Clara has a +grace in every thing she does; and you, Mr. Mowbray, can be a perfectly +well-bred gentleman--when you please." + +"That qualification is severe--Well--good manners be my speed--I will +certainly please to do my best, when I see your ladyship at +Shaws-Castle, which has received no company this many a day.--Clara and +I have lived a wild life of it, each in their own way." + +"Indeed, Mr. Mowbray," said Lady Binks, "if I might presume to speak--I +think you do suffer your sister to ride about a little too much without +an attendant. I know Miss Mowbray rides as woman never rode before, but +still an accident may happen." + +"An accident?" replied Mowbray--"Ah, Lady Binks! accidents happen as +frequently when ladies _have_ attendants as when they are without them." + +Lady Binks, who, in her maiden state, had cantered a good deal about +these woods under Sir Bingo's escort, coloured, looked spiteful, and was +silent. + +"Besides," said John Mowbray, more lightly, "where is the risk, after +all? There are no wolves in our woods to eat up our pretty Red-Riding +Hoods; and no lions either--except those of Lady Penelope's train." + +"Who draw the car of Cybele," said Mr. Chatterly. + +Lady Penelope luckily did not understand the allusion, which was indeed +better intended than imagined. + +"Apropos!" she said; "what have you done with the great lion of the day? +I see Mr. Tyrrel nowhere--Is he finishing an additional bottle with Sir +Bingo?" + +"Mr. Tyrrel, madam," said Mowbray, "has acted successively the lion +rampant, and the lion passant: he has been quarrelsome, and he has run +away--fled from the ire of your doughty knight, Lady Binks." + +"I am sure I hope not," said Lady Binks; "my Chevalier's unsuccessful +campaigns have been unable to overcome his taste for quarrels--a victory +would make a fighting-man of him for life." + +"That inconvenience might bring its own consolations," said +Winterblossom, apart to Mowbray; "quarrellers do not usually live long." + +"No, no," replied Mowbray, "the lady's despair, which broke out just +now, even in her own despite, is quite natural--absolutely legitimate. +Sir Bingo will give her no chance that way." + +Mowbray then made his bow to Lady Penelope, and in answer to her request +that he would join the ball or the card-table, observed, that he had no +time to lose; that the heads of the old domestics at Shaws-Castle would +be by this time absolutely turned, by the apprehensions of what Thursday +was to bring forth; and that as Clara would certainly give no directions +for the proper arrangements, it was necessary that he should take that +trouble himself. + +"If you ride smartly," said Lady Penelope, "you may save even a +temporary alarm, by overtaking Clara, dear creature, ere she gets +home--She sometimes suffers her pony to go at will along the lane, as +slow as Betty Foy's." + +"Ah, but then," said little Miss Digges, "Miss Mowbray sometimes gallops +as if the lark was a snail to her pony--and it quite frights one to see +her." + +The Doctor touched Mrs. Blower, who had approached so as to be on the +verge of the genteel circle, though she did not venture within it--they +exchanged sagacious looks, and a most pitiful shake of the head. +Mowbray's eye happened at that moment to glance on them; and doubtless, +notwithstanding their hasting to compose their countenances to a +different expression, he comprehended what was passing through their +minds;--and perhaps it awoke a corresponding note in his own. He took +his hat, and with a cast of thought upon his countenance which it seldom +wore, left the apartment. A moment afterwards his horse's feet were +heard spurning the pavement, as he started off at a sharp pace. + +"There is something singular about these Mowbrays to-night," said Lady +Penelope.--"Clara, poor dear angel, is always particular; but I should +have thought Mowbray had too much worldly wisdom to be fanciful.--What +are you consulting your _souvenir_ for with such attention, my dear Lady +Binks?" + +"Only for the age of the moon," said her ladyship, putting the little +tortoise-shell-bound calendar into her reticule; and having done so, she +proceeded to assist Lady Penelope in the arrangements for the evening. + +[Illustration] + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE MEETING. + + We meet as shadows in the land of dreams, + Which speak not but in signs. + +_Anonymous._ + + +Behind one of the old oaks which we have described in the preceding +chapter, shrouding himself from observation like a hunter watching for +his game, or an Indian for his enemy, but with different, very different +purpose, Tyrrel lay on his breast near the Buck-stane, his eye on the +horse-road which winded down the valley, and his ear alertly awake to +every sound which mingled with the passing breeze, or with the ripple of +the brook. + +"To have met her in yonder congregated assembly of brutes and +fools"--such was a part of his internal reflections,--"had been little +less than an act of madness--madness almost equal in its degree to that +cowardice which has hitherto prevented my approaching her, when our +eventful meeting might have taken place unobserved.--But now--now--my +resolution is as fixed as the place is itself favourable. I will not +wait till some chance again shall throw us together, with an hundred +malignant eyes to watch, and wonder, and stare, and try in vain to +account for the expression of feelings which I might find it impossible +to suppress.--Hark--hark!--I hear the tread of a horse--No--it was the +changeful sound of the water rushing over the pebbles. Surely she cannot +have taken the other road to Shaws-Castle!--No--the sounds become +distinct--her figure is visible on the path, coming swiftly +forward.--Have I the courage to show myself?--I have--the hour is come, +and what must be shall be." + +Yet this resolution was scarcely formed ere it began to fluctuate, when +he reflected upon the fittest manner of carrying it into execution. To +show himself at a distance, might give the lady an opportunity of +turning back and avoiding the interview which he had determined upon--to +hide himself till the moment when her horse, in rapid motion, should +pass his lurking-place, might be attended with danger to the rider--and +while he hesitated which course to pursue, there was some chance of his +missing the opportunity of presenting himself to Miss Mowbray at all. He +was himself sensible of this, formed a hasty and desperate resolution +not to suffer the present moment to escape, and, just as the ascent +induced the pony to slacken its pace, Tyrrel stood in the middle of the +defile, about six yards distant from the young lady. + +She pulled up the reins, and stopped as if arrested by a +thunderbolt.--"Clara!"--"Tyrrel!" These were the only words which were +exchanged between them, until Tyrrel, moving his feet as slowly as if +they had been of lead, began gradually to diminish the distance which +lay betwixt them. It was then that, observing his closer approach, Miss +Mowbray called out with great eagerness,--"No nearer--no nearer!--So +long have I endured your presence, but if you approach me more closely, +I shall be mad indeed!" + +"What do you fear?" said Tyrrel, in a hollow voice--"What can you fear?" +and he continued to draw nearer, until they were within a pace of each +other. + +Clara, meanwhile, dropping her bridle, clasped her hands together, and +held them up towards Heaven, muttering, in a voice scarcely audible, +"Great God!--If this apparition be formed by my heated fancy, let it +pass away; if it be real, enable me to bear its presence!--Tell me, I +conjure you, are you Francis Tyrrel in blood and body, or is this but +one of those wandering visions, that have crossed my path and glared on +me, but without daring to abide my steadfast glance?" + +"I am Francis Tyrrel," answered he, "in blood and body, as much as she +to whom I speak is Clara Mowbray." + +"Then God have mercy on us both!" said Clara, in a tone of deep feeling. + +"Amen!" said Tyrrel.--"But what avails this excess of agitation?--You +saw me but now, Miss Mowbray--Your voice still rings in my ears--You saw +me but now--you spoke to me--and that when I was among strangers--Why +not preserve your composure, when we are where no human eye can see--no +human ear can hear?" + +"Is it so?" said Clara; "and was it indeed yourself whom I saw even +now?--I thought so, and something I said at the time--but my brain has +been but ill settled since we last met--But I am well now--quite well--I +have invited all the people yonder to come to Shaws-Castle--my brother +desired me to do it--I hope I shall have the pleasure of seeing Mr. +Tyrrel there--though I think there is some old grudge between my brother +and you." + +"Alas! Clara, you mistake. Your brother I have scarcely seen," replied +Tyrrel, much distressed, and apparently uncertain in what tone to +address her, which might soothe, and not irritate her mental malady, of +which he could now entertain no doubt. + +"True--true," she said, after a moment's reflection, "my brother was +then at college. It was my father, my poor father, whom you had some +quarrel with.--But you will come to Shaws-Castle on Thursday, at two +o'clock?--John will be glad to see you--he can be kind when he +pleases--and then we will talk of old times--I must get on, to have +things ready--Good evening." + +She would have passed him, but he took gently hold of the rein of her +bridle.--"I will walk with you, Clara," he said; "the road is rough and +dangerous--you ought not to ride fast.--I will walk along with you, and +we will talk of former times now, more conveniently than in company." + +"True--true--very true, Mr. Tyrrel--it shall be as you say. My brother +obliges me sometimes to go into company at that hateful place down +yonder; and I do so because he likes it, and because the folks let me +have my own way, and come and go as I list. Do you know, Tyrrel, that +very often when I am there, and John has his eye on me, I can carry it +on as gaily as if you and I had never met?" + +"I would to God we never had," said Tyrrel, in a trembling voice, "since +this is to be the end of all!" + +"And wherefore should not sorrow be the end of sin and of folly? And +when did happiness come of disobedience?--And when did sound sleep visit +a bloody pillow? That is what I say to myself, Tyrrel, and that is what +you must learn to say too, and then you will bear your burden as +cheerfully as I endure mine. If we have no more than our deserts, why +should we complain?--You are shedding tears, I think--Is not that +childish?--They say it is a relief--if so, weep on, and I will look +another way." + +Tyrrel walked on by the pony's side, in vain endeavouring to compose +himself so as to reply. + +"Poor Tyrrel," said Clara, after she had remained silent for some +time--"Poor Frank Tyrrel!--Perhaps you will say in your turn, Poor +Clara--but I am not so poor in spirit as you--the blast may bend, but it +shall never break me." + +There was another long pause; for Tyrrel was unable to determine with +himself in what strain he could address the unfortunate young lady, +without awakening recollections equally painful to her feelings, and +dangerous, when her precarious state of health was considered. At length +she herself proceeded:-- + +"What needs all this, Tyrrel?--and indeed, why came you here?--Why did I +find you but now brawling and quarrelling among the loudest of the +brawlers and quarrellers of yonder idle and dissipated debauchees?--You +were used to have more temper--more sense. Another person--ay, another +that you and I once knew--he might have committed such a folly, and he +would have acted perhaps in character.--But you, who pretend to +wisdom--for shame, for shame!--And indeed, when we talk of that, what +wisdom was there in coming hither at all?--or what good purpose can your +remaining here serve?--Surely you need not come, either to renew your +own unhappiness or to augment mine?" + +"To augment yours--God forbid!" answered Tyrrel. "No--I came hither only +because, after so many years of wandering, I longed to revisit the spot +where all my hopes lay buried." + +"Ay--buried is the word," she replied, "crushed down and buried when +they budded fairest. I often think of it, Tyrrel; and there are times +when, Heaven help me! I can think of little else.--Look at me--you +remember what I was--see what grief and solitude have made me." + +She flung back the veil which surrounded her riding-hat, and which had +hitherto hid her face. It was the same countenance which he had formerly +known in all the bloom of early beauty; but though the beauty remained, +the bloom was fled for ever. Not the agitation of exercise--not that +which arose from the pain and confusion of this unexpected interview, +had called to poor Clara's cheek even the momentary semblance of colour. +Her complexion was marble-white, like that of the finest piece of +statuary. + +"Is it possible?" said Tyrrel; "can grief have made such ravages?" + +"Grief," replied Clara, "is the sickness of the mind, and its sister is +the sickness of the body--they are twin-sisters, Tyrrel, and are seldom +long separate. Sometimes the body's disease comes first, and dims our +eyes and palsies our hands, before the fire of our mind and of our +intellect is quenched. But mark me--soon after comes her cruel sister +with her urn, and sprinkles cold dew on our hopes and on our loves, our +memory, our recollections, and our feelings, and shows us that they +cannot survive the decay of our bodily powers." + +"Alas!" said Tyrrel, "is it come to this?" + +"To this," she replied, speaking from the rapid and irregular train of +her own ideas, rather than comprehending the purport of his sorrowful +exclamation,--"to this it must ever come, while immortal souls are +wedded to the perishable substance of which our bodies are composed. +There is another state, Tyrrel, in which it will be otherwise--God grant +our time of enjoying it were come!" + +She fell into a melancholy pause, which Tyrrel was afraid to disturb. +The quickness with which she spoke, marked but too plainly the irregular +succession of thought, and he was obliged to restrain the agony of his +own feelings, rendered more acute by a thousand painful recollections, +lest, by giving way to his expressions of grief, he should throw her +into a still more disturbed state of mind. + +"I did not think," she proceeded, "that after so horrible a separation, +and so many years, I could have met you thus calmly and reasonably. But +although what we were formerly to each other can never be forgotten, it +is now all over, and we are only friends--Is it not so?" + +Tyrrel was unable to reply. + +"But I must not remain here," she said, "till the evening grows darker +on me.--We shall meet again, Tyrrel--meet as friends--nothing more--You +will come up to Shaws-Castle and see me?--no need of secrecy now--my +poor father is in his grave, and his prejudices sleep with him--my +brother John is kind, though he is stern and severe sometimes--Indeed, +Tyrrel, I believe he loves me, though he has taught me to tremble at his +frown when I am in spirits, and talk too much--But he loves me, at least +I think so, for I am sure I love him; and I try to go down amongst them +yonder, and to endure their folly, and, all things considered, I do +carry on the farce of life wonderfully well--We are but actors, you +know, and the world but a stage." + +"And ours has been a sad and tragic scene," said Tyrrel, in the +bitterness of his heart, unable any longer to refrain from speech. + +"It has indeed--but, Tyrrel, when was it otherwise with engagements +formed in youth and in folly? You and I would, you know, become men and +women, while we were yet scarcely more than children--We have run, while +yet in our nonage, through the passions and adventures of youth, and +therefore we are now old before our day, and the winter of our life has +come on ere its summer was well begun.--O Tyrrel! often and often have I +thought of this!--Thought of it often? Alas, when will the time come +that I shall be able to think of any thing else!" + +The poor young woman sobbed bitterly, and her tears began to flow with a +freedom which they had not probably enjoyed for a length of time. Tyrrel +walked on by the side of her horse, which now prosecuted its road +homewards, unable to devise a proper mode of addressing the unfortunate +young lady, and fearing alike to awaken her passions and his own. +Whatever he might have proposed to say, was disconcerted by the plain +indications that her mind was clouded, more or less slightly, with a +shade of insanity, which deranged, though it had not destroyed, her +powers of judgment. + +At length he asked her, with as much calmness as he could assume--if she +was contented--if aught could be done to render her situation more +easy--if there was aught of which she could complain which he might be +able to remedy? She answered gently, that she was calm and resigned, +when her brother would permit her to stay at home; but that when she was +brought into society, she experienced such a change as that which the +water of the brook that slumbers in a crystalline pool of the rock may +be supposed to feel, when, gliding from its quiet bed, it becomes +involved in the hurry of the cataract. + +"But my brother Mowbray," she said, "thinks he is right,--and perhaps he +is so. There are things on which we may ponder too long;--and were he +mistaken, why should I not constrain myself in order to please +him--there are so few left to whom I can now give either pleasure or +pain?--I am a gay girl, too, in conversation, Tyrrel--still as gay for a +moment, as when you used to chide me for my folly. So, now I have told +you all,--I have one question to ask on my part--one question--if I had +but breath to ask it--Is _he_ still alive?" + +"He lives," answered Tyrrel, but in a tone so low, that nought but the +eager attention which Miss Mowbray paid could possibly have caught such +feeble sounds. + +"Lives!" she exclaimed,--"lives!--he lives, and the blood on your hand +is not then indelibly imprinted--O Tyrrel, did you but know the joy +which this assurance gives to me!" + +"Joy!" replied Tyrrel--"joy, that the wretch lives who has poisoned our +happiness for ever?--lives, perhaps, to claim you for his own?" + +"Never, never shall he--dare he do so," replied Clara, wildly, "while +water can drown, while cords can strangle, steel pierce--while there is +a precipice on the hill, a pool in the river--never--never!" + +"Be not thus agitated, my dearest Clara," said Tyrrel; "I spoke I know +not what--he lives indeed--but far distant, and, I trust, never again to +revisit Scotland." + +He would have said more, but that, agitated with fear or passion, she +struck her horse impatiently with her riding-whip. The spirited animal, +thus stimulated and at the same time restrained, became intractable, and +reared so much, that Tyrrel, fearful of the consequences, and trusting +to Clara's skill as a horsewoman, thought he best consulted her safety +in letting go the rein. The animal instantly sprung forward on the +broken and hilly path at a very rapid pace, and was soon lost to +Tyrrel's anxious eyes. + +As he stood pondering whether he ought not to follow Miss Mowbray +towards Shaws-Castle, in order to be satisfied that no accident had +befallen her on the road, he heard the tread of a horse's feet advancing +hastily in the same direction, leading from the hotel. Unwilling to be +observed at this moment, he stepped aside under shelter of the +underwood, and presently afterwards saw Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, +followed by a groom, ride hastily past his lurking-place, and pursue the +same road which had been just taken by his sister. The presence of her +brother seemed to assure Miss Mowbray's safety, and so removed Tyrrel's +chief reason for following her. Involved in deep and melancholy +reflection upon what had passed, nearly satisfied that his longer +residence in Clara's vicinity could only add to her unhappiness and his +own, yet unable to tear himself from that neighbourhood, or to +relinquish feelings which had become entwined with his heart-strings, he +returned to his lodgings in the Aultoun, in a state of mind very little +to be envied. + +Tyrrel, on entering his apartment, found that it was not lighted, nor +were the Abigails of Mrs. Dods quite so alert as a waiter at Long's +might have been, to supply him with candles. Unapt at any time to exact +much personal attendance, and desirous to shun at that moment the +necessity of speaking to any person whatever, even on the most trifling +subject, he walked down into the kitchen to supply himself with what he +wanted. He did not at first observe that Mrs. Dods herself was present +in this the very centre of her empire, far less that a lofty air of +indignation was seated on the worthy matron's brow. At first it only +vented itself in broken soliloquy and interjections; as, for example, +"Vera bonny wark this!--vera creditable wark, indeed!--a decent house to +be disturbed at these hours--Keep a public--as weel keep a bedlam!" + +Finding these murmurs attracted no attention, the dame placed herself +betwixt her guest and the door, to which he was now retiring with his +lighted candle, and demanded of him what was the meaning of such +behaviour. + +"Of what behaviour, madam?" said her guest, repeating her question in a +tone of sternness and impatience so unusual with him, that perhaps she +was sorry at the moment that she had provoked him out of his usual +patient indifference; nay, she might even feel intimidated at the +altercation she had provoked, for the resentment of a quiet and patient +person has always in it something formidable to the professed and +habitual grumbler. But her pride was too great to think of a retreat, +after having sounded the signal for contest, and so she continued, +though in a tone somewhat lowered. + +"Maister Tirl, I wad but just ask you, that are a man of sense, whether +I hae ony right to take your behaviour weel? Here have you been these +ten days and mair, eating the best, and drinking the best, and taking up +the best room in my house; and now to think of your gaun doun and taking +up with yon idle harebrained cattle at the Waal--I maun e'en be plain +wi' ye--I like nane of the fair-fashioned folk that can say My Jo and +think it no; and therefore"---- + +"Mrs. Dods," said Tyrrel, interrupting her, "I have no time at present +for trifles. I am obliged to you for your attention while I have been in +your house; but the disposal of my time, here or elsewhere, must be +according to my own ideas of pleasure or business--If you are tired of +me as a guest, send in your bill to-morrow." + +"My bill!" said Mrs. Dods; "my bill to-morrow! And what for no wait till +Saturday, when it may be cleared atween us, plack and bawbee, as it was +on Saturday last?" + +"Well--we will talk of it to-morrow, Mrs. Dods--Good-night." And he +withdrew accordingly. + +Luckie Dods stood ruminating for a moment. "The deil's in him," she +said, "for he winna bide being thrawn. And I think the deil's in me too +for thrawing him, sic a canny lad, and sae gude a customer;--and I am +judging he has something on his mind--want of siller it canna be--I am +sure if I thought that, I wadna care about my small thing.--But want o' +siller it canna be--he pays ower the shillings as if they were sclate +stanes, and that's no the way that folk part with their siller when +there's but little on't--I ken weel eneugh how a customer looks that's +near the grund of the purse.--Weel! I hope he winna mind ony thing of +this nonsense the morn, and I'll try to guide my tongue something +better.--Hegh, sirs! but, as the minister says, it's an unruly +member--troth, I am whiles ashamed o't mysell." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +RESOURCES. + + Come, let me have thy counsel, for I need it; + Thou art of those, who better help their friends + With sage advice, than usurers with gold, + Or brawlers with their swords--I'll trust to thee, + For I ask only from thee words, not deeds. + +_The Devil hath met his Match._ + + +The day of which we last gave the events chanced to be Monday, and two +days therefore intervened betwixt it and that for which the +entertainment was fixed, that was to assemble in the halls of the Lord +of the Manor the flower of the company now at St. Ronan's Well. The +interval was but brief for the preparations necessary on an occasion so +unusual; since the house, though delightfully situated, was in very +indifferent repair, and for years had never received any visitors, +except when some blithe bachelor or fox-hunter shared the hospitality of +Mr. Mowbray; an event which became daily more and more uncommon; for, as +he himself almost lived at the Well, he generally contrived to receive +his companions where it could be done without expense to himself. +Besides, the health of his sister afforded an irresistible apology to +any of those old-fashioned Scottish gentlemen, who might be too apt (in +the rudeness of more primitive days) to consider a friend's house as +their own. Mr. Mowbray was now, however, to the great delight of all +his companions, nailed down, by invitation given and accepted, and they +looked forward to the accomplishment of his promise, with the eagerness +which the prospect of some entertaining novelty never fails to produce +among idlers. + +A good deal of trouble devolved on Mr. Mowbray, and his trusty agent Mr. +Meiklewham, before any thing like decent preparation could be made for +the ensuing entertainment; and they were left to their unassisted +endeavours by Clara, who, during both the Tuesday and Wednesday, +obstinately kept herself secluded; nor could her brother, either by +threats or flattery, extort from her any light concerning her purpose on +the approaching and important Thursday. To do John Mowbray justice, he +loved his sister as much as he was capable of loving any thing but +himself; and when, in several arguments, he had the mortification to +find that she was not to be prevailed on to afford her assistance, he, +without complaint, quietly set himself to do the best he could by his +own unassisted judgment or opinion with regard to the necessary +preparations. + +This was not, at present, so easy a task as might be supposed: for +Mowbray was ambitious of that character of _ton_ and elegance, which +masculine faculties alone are seldom capable of attaining on such +momentous occasions. The more solid materials of a collation were indeed +to be obtained for money from the next market-town, and were purchased +accordingly; but he felt it was likely to present the vulgar plenty of a +farmer's feast, instead of the elegant entertainment, which might be +announced in a corner of the county paper, as given by John Mowbray, +Esq. of St. Ronan's, to the gay and fashionable company assembled at +that celebrated spring. There was likely to be all sorts of error and +irregularity in dishing, and in sending up; for Shaws-Castle boasted +neither an accomplished housekeeper, nor a kitchenmaid with a hundred +pair of hands to execute her mandates. All the domestic arrangements +were on the minutest system of economy consistent with ordinary decency, +except in the stables, which were excellent and well kept. But can a +groom of the stables perform the labours of a groom of the chambers? or +can the gamekeeper arrange in tempting order the carcasses of the birds +he has shot, strew them with flowers, and garnish them with piquant +sauces? It would be as reasonable to expect a gallant soldier to act as +undertaker, and conduct the funeral of the enemy he has slain. + +In a word, Mowbray talked, and consulted, and advised, and squabbled, +with the deaf cook, and a little old man whom he called the butler, +until he at length perceived so little chance of bringing order out of +confusion, or making the least advantageous impression on such obdurate +understandings as he had to deal with, that he fairly committed the +whole matter of the collation, with two or three hearty curses, to the +charge of the officials principally concerned, and proceeded to take the +state of the furniture and apartments under his consideration. + +Here he found himself almost equally helpless; for what male wit is +adequate to the thousand little coquetries practised in such +arrangements? how can masculine eyes judge of the degree of _demi-jour_ +which is to be admitted into a decorated apartment, or discriminate +where the broad light should be suffered to fall on a tolerable picture, +where it should be excluded, lest the stiff daub of a periwigged +grandsire should become too rigidly prominent? And if men are unfit for +weaving such a fairy web of light and darkness as may best suit +furniture, ornaments, and complexions, how shall they be adequate to the +yet more mysterious office of arranging, while they disarrange, the +various movables in the apartment? so that while all has the air of +negligence and chance, the seats are placed as if they had been +transported by a wish to the spot most suitable for accommodation; +stiffness and confusion are at once avoided, the company are neither +limited to a formal circle of chairs, nor exposed to break their noses +over wandering stools; but the arrangements seem to correspond to what +ought to be the tone of the conversation, easy, without being confused, +and regulated, without being constrained or stiffened. + +Then how can a clumsy male wit attempt the arrangement of all the +_chiffonerie_, by which old snuff-boxes, heads of canes, pomander boxes, +lamer beads, and all the trash usually found in the pigeon-holes of the +bureaus of old-fashioned ladies, may be now brought into play, by +throwing them, carelessly grouped with other unconsidered trifles, such +as are to be seen in the windows of a pawnbroker's shop, upon a marble +_encognure_, or a mosaic work-table, thereby turning to advantage the +trash and trinketry, which all the old maids or magpies, who have +inhabited the mansion for a century, have contrived to accumulate. With +what admiration of the ingenuity of the fair artist have I sometimes +pried into these miscellaneous groups of _pseudo-bijouterie_, and seen +the great grandsire's thumb-ring couchant with the coral and bells of +the first-born--and the boatswain's whistle of some old naval uncle, or +his silver tobacco-box, redolent of Oroonoko, happily grouped with the +mother's ivory comb-case, still odorous of musk, and with some virgin +aunt's tortoise-shell spectacle-case, and the eagle's talon of ebony, +with which, in the days of long and stiff stays, our grandmothers were +wont to alleviate any little irritation in their back or shoulders! Then +there was the silver strainer, on which, in more economical times than +ours, the lady of the house placed the tea-leaves, after the very last +drop had been exhausted, that they might afterwards be hospitably +divided among the company, to be eaten with sugar, and with bread and +butter. Blessings upon a fashion which has rescued from the claws of +abigails, and the melting-pot of the silversmith, those neglected +_cimelia_, for the benefit of antiquaries and the decoration of +side-tables! But who shall presume to place them there, unless under the +direction of female taste? and of that Mr. Mowbray, though possessed of +a large stock of such treasures, was for the present entirely deprived. + +This digression upon his difficulties is already too long, or I might +mention the Laird's inexperience in the art of making the worse appear +the better garnishment, of hiding a darned carpet with a new +floor-cloth, and flinging an Indian shawl over a faded and threadbare +sofa. But I have said enough, and more than enough, to explain his +dilemma to an unassisted bachelor, who, without mother, sister, or +cousin, without skilful housekeeper, or experienced clerk of the +kitchen, or valet of parts and figure, adventures to give an +entertainment, and aspires to make it elegant and _comme il faut_. + +The sense of his insufficiency was the more vexatious to Mowbray, as he +was aware he would find sharp critics in the ladies, and particularly in +his constant rival, Lady Penelope Penfeather. He was, therefore, +incessant in his exertions; and for two whole days ordered and +disordered, demanded, commanded, countermanded, and reprimanded, without +pause or cessation. The companion, for he could not be termed an +assistant, of his labours, was his trusty agent, who trotted from room +to room after him, affording him exactly the same degree of sympathy +which a dog doth to his master when distressed in mind, by looking in +his face from time to time with a piteous gaze, as if to assure him that +he partakes of his trouble, though he neither comprehends the cause or +the extent of it, nor has in the slightest degree the power to remove +it. + +At length when Mowbray had got some matters arranged to his mind, and +abandoned a great many which he would willingly have put in better +order, he sat down to dinner upon the Wednesday preceding the appointed +day, with his worthy aide-de-camp, Mr. Meiklewham; and after bestowing a +few muttered curses upon the whole concern, and the fantastic old maid +who had brought him into the scrape, by begging an invitation, declared +that all things might now go to the devil their own way, for so sure as +his name was John Mowbray, he would trouble himself no more about them. + +Keeping this doughty resolution, he sat down to dinner with his counsel +learned in the law; and speedily they dispatched the dish of chops which +was set before them, and the better part of the bottle of old port, +which served for its menstruum. + +"We are well enough now," said Mowbray, "though we have had none of +their d----d kickshaws." + +"A wamefou' is a wamefou'," said the writer, swabbing his greasy chops, +"whether it be of the barleymeal or the bran." + +"A cart-horse thinks so," said Mowbray; "but we must do as others do, +and gentlemen and ladies are of a different opinion." + +"The waur for themselves and the country baith, St. Ronan's--it's the +jinketing and the jirbling wi' tea and wi' trumpery that brings our +nobles to nine-pence, and mony a het ha'-house to a hired lodging in the +Abbey." + +The young gentleman paused for a few minutes--filled a bumper, and +pushed the bottle to the senior--then said abruptly, "Do you believe in +luck, Mick?" + +"In luck?" answered the attorney; "what do you mean by the question?" + +"Why, because I believe in luck myself--in a good or bad run of luck at +cards." + +"You wad have mair luck the day, if you had never touched them," replied +his confident. + +"That is not the question now," said Mowbray; "but what I wonder at is +the wretched chance that has attended us miserable Lairds of St. Ronan's +for more than a hundred years, that we have always been getting worse in +the world, and never better. Never has there been such a backsliding +generation, as the parson would say--half the country once belonged to +my ancestors, and now the last furrows of it seem to be flying." + +"Fleeing!" said the writer, "they are barking and fleeing baith.--This +Shaws-Castle here, I'se warrant it flee up the chimney after the rest, +were it not weel fastened down with your grandfather's tailzie." + +"Damn the tailzie!" said Mowbray; "if they had meant to keep up their +estate, they should have entailed it when it was worth keeping: to tie a +man down to such an insignificant thing as St. Ronan's, is like +tethering a horse on six roods of a Highland moor." + +"Ye have broke weel in on the mailing by your feus down at the Well," +said Meiklewham, "and raxed ower the tether maybe a wee bit farther than +ye had ony right to do." + +"It was by your advice, was it not?" said the Laird. + +"I'se ne'er deny it, St. Ronan's," answered the writer; "but I am such a +gude-natured guse, that I just set about pleasing you as an auld wife +pleases a bairn." + +"Ay," said the man of pleasure, "when she reaches it a knife to cut its +own fingers with.--These acres would have been safe enough, if it had +not been for your d----d advice." + +"And yet you were grumbling e'en now," said the man of business, "that +you have not the power to gar the whole estate flee like a wild-duck +across a bog? Troth, you need care little about it; for if you have +incurred an irritancy--and sae thinks Mr. Wisebehind, the advocate, upon +an A. B. memorial that I laid before him--your sister, or your sister's +goodman, if she should take the fancy to marry, might bring a +declarator, and evict St. Ronan's frae ye in the course of twa or three +sessions." + +"My sister will never marry," said John Mowbray. + +"That's easily said," replied the writer; "but as broken a ship's come +to land. If ony body kend o' the chance she has o' the estate, there's +mony a weel-doing man would think little of the bee in her bonnet." + +"Harkye, Mr. Meiklewham," said the Laird, "I will be obliged to you if +you will speak of Miss Mowbray with the respect due to her father's +daughter, and my sister." + +"Nae offence, St. Ronan's, nae offence," answered the man of law; "but +ilka man maun speak sae as to be understood,--that is, when he speaks +about business. Ye ken yoursell, that Miss Clara is no just like other +folk; and were I you--it's my duty to speak plain--I wad e'en gie in a +bit scroll of a petition to the Lords, to be appointed Curator Bonis, in +respect of her incapacity to manage her own affairs." + +"Meiklewham," said Mowbray, "you are a"----and then stopped short. + +"What am I, Mr. Mowbray?" said Meiklewham, somewhat sternly--"What am I? +I wad be glad to ken what I am." + +"A very good lawyer, I dare say," replied St. Ronan's, who was too much +in the power of his agent to give way to his first impulse. "But I must +tell you, that rather than take such a measure against poor Clara, as +you recommend, I would give her up the estate, and become an ostler or a +postilion for the rest of my life." + +"Ah, St. Ronan's," said the man of law, "if you had wished to keep up +the auld house, you should have taken another trade, than to become an +ostler or a postilion. What ailed you, man, but to have been a lawyer as +weel as other folk? My auld Maister had a wee bit Latin about _rerum +dominos gentemque togatam_, whilk signified, he said, that all lairds +should be lawyers." + +"All lawyers are likely to become lairds, I think," replied Mowbray; +"they purchase our acres by the thousand, and pay us, according to the +old story, with a multiplepoinding, as your learned friends call it, Mr. +Meiklewham." + +"Weel--and mightna you have purchased as weel as other folk?" + +"Not I," replied the Laird; "I have no turn for that service, I should +only have wasted bombazine on my shoulders, and flour upon my +three-tailed wig--should but have lounged away my mornings in the +Outer-House, and my evenings at the play-house, and acquired no more law +than what would have made me a wise justice at a Small-debt Court." + +"If you gained little, you would have lost as little," said Meiklewham; +"and albeit ye were nae great gun at the bar, ye might aye have gotten a +Sheriffdom, or a Commissaryship, amang the lave, to keep the banes +green; and sae ye might have saved your estate from deteriorating, if ye +didna mend it muckle." + +"Yes, but I could not have had the chance of doubling it, as I might +have done," answered Mowbray, "had that inconstant jade, Fortune, but +stood a moment faithful to me. I tell you, Mick, that I have been, +within this twelvemonth, worth a hundred thousand--worth fifty +thousand--worth nothing, but the remnant of this wretched estate, which +is too little to do one good while it is mine, though, were it sold, I +could start again, and mend my hand a little." + +"Ay, ay, just fling the helve after the hatchet," said his legal +adviser--"that's a' you think of. What signifies winning a hundred +thousand pounds, if you win them to lose them a' again?" + +"What signifies it?" replied Mowbray. "Why, it signifies as much to a +man of spirit, as having won a battle signifies to a general--no matter +that he is beaten afterwards in his turn, he knows there is luck for him +as well as others, and so he has spirit to try it again. Here is the +young Earl of Etherington will be amongst us in a day or two--they say +he is up to every thing--if I had but five hundred to begin with, I +should be soon up to him." + +"Mr. Mowbray," said Meiklewham, "I am sorry for ye. I have been your +house's man-of-business--I may say, in some measure, your house's +servant--and now I am to see an end of it all, and just by the lad that +I thought maist likely to set it up again better than ever; for, to do +ye justice, you have aye had an ee to your ain interest, sae far as your +lights gaed. It brings tears into my auld een." + +"Never weep for the matter, Mick," answered Mowbray; "some of it will +stick, my old boy, in your pockets, if not in mine--your service will +not be altogether gratuitous, my old friend--the labourer is worthy of +his hire." + +"Weel I wot is he," said the writer; "but double fees would hardly carry +folk through some wark. But if ye will have siller, ye maun have +siller--but, I warrant, it goes just where the rest gaed." + +"No, by twenty devils!" exclaimed Mowbray, "to fail this time is +impossible--Jack Wolverine was too strong for Etherington at any thing +he could name; and I can beat Wolverine from the Land's-End to Johnnie +Groat's--but there must be something to go upon--the blunt must be had, +Mick." + +"Very likely--nae doubt--that is always provided it _can_ be had," +answered the legal adviser. + +"That's your business, my old cock," said Mowbray. "This youngster will +be here perhaps to-morrow, with money in both pockets--he takes up his +rents as he comes down, Mick--think of that, my old friend." + +"Weel for them that have rents to take up," said Meiklewham; "ours are +lying rather ower low to be lifted at present.--But are you sure this +Earl is a man to mell with?--are you sure ye can win of him, and that if +you do, he can pay his losings, Mr. Mowbray?--because I have kend mony +are come for wool, and gang hame shorn; and though ye are a clever young +gentleman, and I am bound to suppose ye ken as much about life as most +folk, and all that; yet some gate or other ye have aye come off at the +losing hand, as ye have ower much reason to ken this day--howbeit"---- + +"O, the devil take your gossip, my dear Mick! If you can give no help, +spare drowning me with your pother.--Why, man, I was a fresh hand--had +my apprentice-fees to pay--and these are no trifles, Mick.--But what of +that?--I am free of the company now, and can trade on my own bottom." + +"Aweel, aweel, I wish it may be sae," said Meiklewham. + +"It will be so, and it shall be so, my trusty friend," replied Mowbray, +cheerily, "so you will but help me to the stock to trade with." + +"The stock?--what d'ye ca' the stock? I ken nae stock that ye have +left." + +"But _you_ have plenty, my old boy--Come, sell out a few of your three +per cents; I will pay difference--interest--exchange--every thing." + +"Ay, ay--every thing or naething," answered Meiklewham; "but as you are +sae very pressing, I hae been thinking--Whan is the siller wanted?" + +"This instant--this day--to-morrow at farthest!" exclaimed the proposed +borrower. + +"Wh--ew!" whistled the lawyer, with a long prolongation of the note; +"the thing is impossible." + +"It must be, Mick, for all that," answered Mr. Mowbray, who knew by +experience that _impossible_, when uttered by his accommodating friend +in this tone, meant only, when interpreted, extremely difficult, and +very expensive. + +"Then it must be by Miss Clara selling her stock, now that ye speak of +stock," said Meiklewham; "I wonder ye didna think of this before." + +"I wish you had been dumb rather than that you had mentioned it now," +said Mowbray, starting, as if stung by an adder--"What, Clara's +pittance!--the trifle my aunt left her for her own fanciful +expenses--her own little private store, that she puts to so many good +purposes--Poor Clara, that has so little!--And why not rather your own, +Master Meiklewham, who call yourself the friend and servant of our +family?" + +"Ay, St. Ronan's," answered Meiklewham, "that is a' very true--but +service is nae inheritance; and as for friendship, it begins at hame, as +wise folk have said lang before our time. And for that matter, I think +they that are nearest sib should take maist risk. You are nearer and +dearer to your sister, St. Ronan's, than you are to poor Saunders +Meiklewham, that hasna sae muckle gentle blood as would supper up an +hungry flea." + +"I will not do this," said St. Ronan's, walking up and down with much +agitation; for, selfish as he was, he loved his sister, and loved her +the more on account of those peculiarities which rendered his protection +indispensable to her comfortable existence--"I will not," he said, +"pillage her, come on't what will. I will rather go a volunteer to the +continent, and die like a gentleman." + +He continued to pace the room in a moody silence, which began to disturb +his companion, who had not been hitherto accustomed to see his patron +take matters so deeply. At length he made an attempt to attract the +attention of the silent and sullen ponderer. + +"Mr. Mowbray"--no answer--"I was saying, St. Ronan's"--still no reply. +"I have been thinking about this matter--and"---- + +"And _what_, sir?" said St. Ronan's, stopping short, and speaking in a +stern tone of voice. + +"And, to speak truth, I see little feasibility in the matter ony way; +for if ye had the siller in your pocket to-day, it would be a' in the +Earl of Etherington's the morn." + +"Pshaw! you are a fool," answered Mowbray. + +"That is not unlikely," said Meiklewham; "but so is Sir Bingo Binks, and +yet he's had the better of you, St. Ronan's, this twa or three times." + +"It is false!--he has not," answered St. Ronan's, fiercely. + +"Weel I wot," resumed Meiklewham, "he took you in about the saumon fish, +and some other wager ye lost to him this very day." + +"I tell you once more, Meiklewham, you are a fool, and no more up to my +trim than you are to the longitude.--Bingo is got shy--I must give him +a little line, that is all--then I shall strike him to purpose--I am as +sure of him as I am of the other--I know the fly they will both rise +to--this cursed want of five hundred will do me out of ten thousand!" + +"If you are so certain of being the bangster--so very certain, I mean, +of sweeping stakes,--what harm will Miss Clara come to by your having +the use of her siller? You can make it up to her for the risk ten times +told." + +"And so I can, by Heaven!" said St. Ronan's. "Mick, you are right, and I +am a scrupulous, chicken-hearted fool. Clara shall have a thousand for +her poor five hundred--she shall, by ----. And I will carry her to +Edinburgh for a season, or perhaps to London, and we will have the best +advice for her case, and the best company to divert her. And if they +think her a little odd--why, d---- me, I am her brother, and will bear +her through it. Yes--yes--you're right; there can be no hurt in +borrowing five hundred of her for a few days, when such profit may be +made on't, both for her and me.--Here, fill the glasses, my old boy, and +drink success to it, for you are right." + +"Here is success to it, with all my heart," answered Meiklewham, +heartily glad to see his patron's sanguine temper arrive at this +desirable conclusion, and yet willing to hedge in his own credit; "but +it is _you_ are right, and not _me_, for I advise nothing except on your +assurances, that you can make your ain of this English earl, and of this +Sir Bingo--and if you can but do that, I am sure it would be unwise and +unkind in ony ane of your friends to stand in your light." + +"True, Mick, true," answered Mowbray.--"And yet dice and cards are but +bones and pasteboard, and the best horse ever started may slip a +shoulder before he get to the winning-post--and so I wish Clara's +venture had not been in such a bottom.--But, hang it, care killed a +cat--I can hedge as well as any one, if the odds turn up against me--so +let us have the cash, Mick." + +"Aha! but there go two words to that bargain--the stock stands in my +name, and Tam Turnpenny the banker's, as trustees for Miss Clara--Now, +get you her letter to us, desiring us to sell out and to pay you the +proceeds, and Tam Turnpenny will let you have five hundred pounds +_instanter_, on the faith of the transaction; for I fancy you would +desire a' the stock to be sold out, and it will produce more than six +hundred, or seven hundred pounds either--and I reckon you will be +selling out the whole--it's needless making twa bites of a cherry." + +"True," answered Mowbray; "since we must be rogues, or something like +it, let us make it worth our while at least; so give me a form of the +letter, and Clara shall copy it--that is, if she consents; for you know +she can keep her own opinion as well as any other woman in the world." + +"And that," said Meiklewham, "is as the wind will keep its way, preach +to it as ye like. But if I might advise about Miss Clara--I wad say +naething mair than that I was stressed for the penny money; for I +mistake her muckle if she would like to see you ganging to pitch and +toss wi' this lord and tither baronet for her aunt's three per cents--I +ken she has some queer notions--she gies away the feck of the dividends +on that very stock in downright charity." + +"And I am in hazard to rob the poor as well as my sister!" said Mowbray, +filling once more his own glass and his friend's. "Come, Mick, no +sky-lights--here is Clara's health--she is an angel--and I am--what I +will not call myself, and suffer no other man to call me.--But I shall +win this time--I am sure I shall, since Clara's fortune depends upon +it." + +"Now, I think, on the other hand," said Meiklewham, "that if any thing +should chance wrang, (and Heaven kens that the best-laid schemes will +gang ajee,) it will be a great comfort to think that the ultimate losers +will only be the poor folk, that have the parish between them and +absolute starvation--if your sister spent her ain siller, it would be a +very different story." + +"Hush, Mick--for God's sake, hush, mine honest friend," said Mowbray; +"it is quite true; thou art a rare counsellor in time of need, and hast +as happy a manner of reconciling a man's conscience with his +necessities, as might set up a score of casuists; but beware, my most +zealous counsellor and confessor, how you drive the nail too far--I +promise you some of the chaffing you are at just now rather abates my +pluck.--Well--give me your scroll--I will to Clara with it--though I +would rather meet the best shot in Britain, with ten paces of green sod +betwixt us." So saying, he left the apartment. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +FRATERNAL LOVE. + + Nearest of blood should still be next in love; + And when I see these happy children playing, + While William gathers flowers for Ellen's ringlets, + And Ellen dresses flies for William's angle, + I scarce can think, that in advancing life, + Coldness, unkindness, interest, or suspicion, + Will e'er divide that unity so sacred, + Which Nature bound at birth. + +_Anonymous._ + + + +When Mowbray had left his dangerous adviser, in order to steer the +course which his agent had indicated, without offering to recommend it, +he went to the little parlour which his sister was wont to term her own, +and in which she spent great part of her time. It was fitted up with a +sort of fanciful neatness; and in its perfect arrangement and good +order, formed a strong contrast to the other apartments of the old and +neglected mansion-house. A number of little articles lay on the +work-table, indicating the elegant, and, at the same time, the unsettled +turn of the inhabitant's mind. There were unfinished drawings, blotted +music, needlework of various kinds, and many other little female tasks; +all undertaken with zeal, and so far prosecuted with art and elegance, +but all flung aside before any one of them was completed. + +Clara herself sat upon a little low couch by the window, reading, or at +least turning over the leaves of a book, in which she seemed to read. +But instantly starting up when she saw her brother, she ran towards him +with the most cordial cheerfulness. + +"Welcome, welcome, my dear John; this is very kind of you to come to +visit your recluse sister. I have been trying to nail my eyes and my +understanding to a stupid book here, because they say too much thought +is not quite good for me. But, either the man's dulness, or my want of +the power of attending, makes my eyes pass over the page, just as one +seems to read in a dream, without being able to comprehend one word of +the matter. You shall talk to me, and that will do better. What can I +give you to show that you are welcome? I am afraid tea is all I have to +offer, and that you set too little store by." + +"I shall be glad of a cup at present," said Mowbray, "for I wish to +speak with you." + +"Then Jessy shall make it ready instantly," said Miss Mowbray, ringing, +and giving orders to her waiting-maid--"but you must not be ungrateful, +John, and plague me with any of the ceremonial for your +fete--'sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.' I will attend, and +play my part as prettily as you can desire; but to think of it +beforehand, would make both my head and my heart ache; and so I beg you +will spare me on the subject." + +"Why, you wild kitten," said Mowbray, "you turn every day more shy of +human communication--we shall have you take the woods one day, and +become as savage as the Princess Caraboo. But I will plague you about +nothing if I can help it. If matters go not smooth on the great day, +they must e'en blame the dull thick head that had no fair lady to help +him in his need. But, Clara, I had something more material to say to +you--something indeed of the last importance." + +"What is it?" said Clara, in a tone of voice approaching to a +scream--"in the name of God, what is it? You know not how you terrify +me!" + +"Nay, you start at a shadow, Clara," answered her brother. "It is no +such uncommon matter neither--good faith, it is the most common distress +in the world, so far as I know the world--I am sorely pinched for +money." + +"Is that all?" replied Clara, in a tone which seemed to her brother as +much to underrate the difficulty, when it was explained, as her fears +had exaggerated it before she heard its nature. + +"Is that all? Indeed it is all, and comprehends a great deal of +vexation. I shall be hard run unless I can get a certain sum of +money--and I must e'en ask you if you can help me?" + +"Help you?" replied Clara; "Yes, with all my heart--but you know my +purse is a light one--more than half of my last dividend is in it, +however, and I am sure, John, I shall be happy if it can serve +you--especially as that will at least show that your wants are but small +ones." + +"Alas, Clara, if you would help me," said her brother, half repentant of +his purpose, "you must draw the neck of the goose which lays the golden +eggs--you must lend me the whole stock." + +"And why not, John," said the simple-hearted girl, "if it will do you a +kindness? Are you not my natural guardian? Are you not a kind one? And +is not my little fortune entirely at your disposal? You will, I am +sure, do all for the best." + +"I fear I may not," said Mowbray, starting from her, and more distressed +by her sudden and unsuspicious compliance, than he would have been by +difficulties, or remonstrance. In the latter case, he would have stifled +the pangs of conscience amid the manoeuvres which he must have +resorted to for obtaining her acquiescence; as matters stood, there was +all the difference that there is between slaughtering a tame and +unresisting animal, and pursuing wild game, until the animation of the +sportsman's exertions overcomes the internal sense of his own +cruelty.[I-E] The same idea occurred to Mowbray himself. + +"By G--," he said, "this is like shooting the bird sitting.--Clara," he +added, "I fear this money will scarce be employed as you would wish." + +"Employ it as you yourself please, my dearest brother," she replied, +"and I will believe it is all for the best." + +"Nay, I am doing for the best," he replied; "at least, I am doing what +must be done, for I see no other way through it--so all you have to do +is to copy this paper, and bid adieu to bank dividends--for a little +while at least. I trust soon to double this little matter for you, if +Fortune will but stand my friend." + +"Do not trust to Fortune, John," said Clara, smiling, though with an +expression of deep melancholy. "Alas! she has never been a friend to our +family--not at least for many a day." + +"She favours the bold, say my old grammatical exercises," answered her +brother; "and I must trust her, were she as changeable as a +weathercock.--And yet--if she should jilt me!--What will you do--what +will you say, Clara, if I am unable, contrary to my hope, trust, and +expectation, to repay you this money within a short time?" + +"Do?" replied Clara; "I must do without it, you know; and for saying, I +will not say a word." + +"True," replied Mowbray, "but your little expenses--your charities--your +halt and blind--your round of paupers?" + +"Well, I can manage all that too. Look you here, John, how many +half-worked trifles there are. The needle or the pencil is the resource +of all distressed heroines, you know; and I promise you, though I have +been a little idle and unsettled of late, yet, when I do set about it, +no Emmeline or Ethelinde of them all ever sent such loads of trumpery to +market as I shall, or made such wealth as I will do. I dare say Lady +Penelope, and all the gentry at the Well, will purchase, and will +raffle, and do all sort of things to encourage the pensive performer. I +will send them such lots of landscapes with sap-green trees, and +mazareen-blue rivers, and portraits that will terrify the originals +themselves--and handkerchiefs and turbans, with needlework scallopped +exactly like the walks on the Belvidere--Why, I shall become a little +fortune in the first season." + +"No, Clara," said John, gravely, for a virtuous resolution had gained +the upperhand in his bosom, while his sister ran on in this manner,--"We +will do something better than all this. If this kind help of yours does +not fetch me through, I am determined I will cut the whole concern. It +is but standing a laugh or two, and hearing a gay fellow say, D---- me, +Jack, are you turned clodhopper at last?--that is the worst. Dogs, +horses, and all, shall go to the hammer; we will keep nothing but your +pony, and I will trust to a pair of excellent legs. There is enough left +of the old acres to keep us in the way you like best, and that I will +learn to like. I will work in the garden, and work in the forest, mark +my own trees, and cut them myself, keep my own accounts, and send +Saunders Meiklewham to the devil." + +"That last is the best resolution of all, John," said Clara; "and if +such a day should come round, I should be the happiest of living +creatures--I should not have a grief left in the world--if I had, you +should never see or hear of it--it should lie here," she said, pressing +her hand on her bosom, "buried as deep as a funereal urn in a cold +sepulchre. Oh! could we not begin such a life to-morrow? If it is +absolutely necessary that this trifle of money should be got rid of +first, throw it into the river, and think you have lost it amongst +gamblers and horse-jockeys." + +Clara's eyes, which she fondly fixed on her brother's face, glowed +through the tears which her enthusiasm called into them, while she thus +addressed him. Mowbray, on his part, kept his looks fixed on the ground, +with a flush on his cheek, that expressed at once false pride and real +shame. + +At length he looked up:--"My dear girl," he said, "how foolishly you +talk, and how foolishly I, that have twenty things to do, stand here +listening to you! All will go smooth on _my_ plan--if it should not, we +have yours in reserve, and I swear to you I will adopt it. The trifle +which this letter of yours enables me to command, may have luck in it, +and we must not throw up the cards while we have a chance of the +game.--Were I to cut from this moment, these few hundreds would make us +little better or little worse--so you see we have two strings to our +bow. Luck is sometimes against me, that is true--but upon true +principle, and playing on the square, I can manage the best of them, or +my name is not Mowbray. Adieu, my dearest Clara." So saying, he kissed +her cheek with a more than usual degree of affection. + +Ere he could raise himself from his stooping posture, she threw her arm +kindly over his neck, and said with a tone of the deepest interest, "My +dearest brother, your slightest wish has been, and ever shall be, a law +to me--Oh! if you would but grant me one request in return!" + +"What is it, you silly girl?" said Mowbray, gently disengaging himself +from her hold.--"What is it you can have to ask that needs such a solemn +preface?--Remember, I hate prefaces; and when I happen to open a book, +always skip them." + +"Without preface, then, my dearest brother, will you, for my sake, avoid +those quarrels in which the people yonder are eternally engaged? I never +go down there but I hear of some new brawl; and I never lay my head down +to sleep, but I dream that you are the victim of it. Even last +night"---- + +"Nay, Clara, if you begin to tell your dreams, we shall never have done. +Sleeping, to be sure, is the most serious employment of your life--for +as to eating, you hardly match a sparrow; but I entreat you to sleep +without dreaming, or to keep your visions to yourself.--Why do you keep +such fast hold of me?--What on earth can you be afraid of?--Surely you +do not think the blockhead Binks, or any other of the good folks below +yonder, dared to turn on me? Egad, I wish they would pluck up a little +mettle, that I might have an excuse for drilling them. Gad, I would soon +teach them to follow at heel." + +"No, John," replied his sister; "it is not of such men as these that I +have any fear--and yet, cowards are sometimes driven to desperation, and +become more dangerous than better men--but it is not such as these that +I fear. But there are men in the world whose qualities are beyond their +seeming--whose spirit and courage lie hidden, like metals in the mine, +under an unmarked or a plain exterior.--You may meet with such--you are +rash and headlong, and apt to exercise your wit without always weighing +consequences, and thus"---- + +"On my word, Clara," answered Mowbray, "you are in a most sermonizing +humour this morning! the parson himself could not have been more logical +or profound. You have only to divide your discourse into heads, and +garnish it with conclusions for use, and conclusions for doctrine, and +it might be preached before a whole presbytery, with every chance of +instruction and edification. But I am a man of the world, my little +Clara; and though I wish to go in death's way as little as possible, I +must not fear the raw-head and bloody-bones neither.--And who the devil +is to put the question to me?--I must know that, Clara, for you have +some especial person in your eye when you bid me take care of +quarrelling." + +Clara could not become paler than was her usual complexion; but her +voice faltered as she eagerly assured her brother, that she had no +particular person in her thoughts. + +"Clara," said her brother, "do you remember, when there was a report of +a bogle[I-17] in the upper orchard, when we were both children?--Do you +remember how you were perpetually telling me to take care of the bogle, +and keep away from its haunts?--And do you remember my going on purpose +to detect the bogle, finding the cow-boy, with a shirt about him, busied +in pulling pears, and treating him to a handsome drubbing?--I am the +same Jack Mowbray still, as ready to face danger, and unmask imposition; +and your fears, Clara, will only make me watch more closely, till I find +out the real object of them. If you warn me of quarrelling with some +one, it must be because you know some one who is not unlikely to quarrel +with me. You are a flighty and fanciful girl, but you have sense enough +not to trouble either yourself or me on a point of honour, save when +there is some good reason for it." + +Clara once more protested, and it was with the deepest anxiety to be +believed, that what she had said arose only out of the general +consequences which she apprehended from the line of conduct her brother +had adopted, and which, in her apprehension, was so likely to engage him +in the broils that divided the good company at the Spring. Mowbray +listened to her explanation with an air of doubt, or rather incredulity, +sipped a cup of tea which had for some time been placed before him, and +at length replied, "Well, Clara, whether I am right or wrong in my +guess, it would be cruel to torment you any more, remembering what you +have just done for me. But do justice to your brother, and believe, that +when you have any thing to ask of him, an explicit declaration of your +wishes will answer your purpose much better than any ingenious oblique +attempts to influence me. Give up all thoughts of such, my dear +Clara--you are but a poor manoeuvrer, but were you the very Machiavel +of your sex, you should not turn the flank of John Mowbray." + +He left the room as he spoke, and did not return, though his sister +twice called upon him. It is true that she uttered the word brother so +faintly, that perhaps the sound did not reach his ears.--"He is gone," +she said, "and I have had no power to speak out! I am like the wretched +creatures, who, it is said, lie under a potent charm, that prevents them +alike from shedding tears and from confessing their crimes--Yes, there +is a spell on this unhappy heart, and either that must be dissolved, or +this must break." + +FOOTNOTE: + +[I-17] Bogle--in English, Goblin. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +THE CHALLENGE. + + A slight note I have about me, for the delivery of which you must + excuse me. It is an office which friendship calls upon me to do, and + no way offensive to you, as I desire nothing but right on both + sides. + +_King and No King._ + + +The intelligent reader may recollect, that Tyrrel departed from the Fox +Hotel on terms not altogether so friendly towards the company as those +under which he entered it. Indeed, it occurred to him, that he might +probably have heard something farther on the subject, though, amidst +matters of deeper and more anxious consideration, the idea only passed +hastily through his mind; and two days having gone over without any +message from Sir Bingo Binks, the whole affair glided entirely out of +his memory. + +The truth was, that although never old woman took more trouble to +collect and blow up with her bellows the embers of her decayed fire, +than Captain MacTurk kindly underwent for the purpose of puffing into a +flame the dying sparkles of the Baronet's courage; yet two days were +spent in fruitless conferences before he could attain the desired point. +He found Sir Bingo on these different occasions in all sorts of +different moods of mind, and disposed to view the thing in all shades of +light, except what the Captain thought was the true one.--He was in a +drunken humour--in a sullen humour--in a thoughtless and vilipending +humour--in every humour but a fighting one. And when Captain MacTurk +talked of the reputation of the company at the Well, Sir Bingo pretended +to take offence, said the company might go to the devil, and hinted that +he "did them sufficient honour by gracing them with his countenance, but +did not mean to constitute them any judges of his affairs. The fellow +was a raff, and he would have nothing to do with him." + +Captain MacTurk would willingly have taken measures against the Baronet +himself, as in a state of contumacy, but was opposed by Winterblossom +and other members of the committee, who considered Sir Bingo as too +important and illustrious a member of their society to be rashly +expelled from a place not honoured by the residence of many persons of +rank; and finally insisted that nothing should be done in the matter +without the advice of Mowbray, whose preparations for his solemn +festival on the following Thursday had so much occupied him, that he had +not lately appeared at the Well. + +In the meanwhile, the gallant Captain seemed to experience as much +distress of mind, as if some stain had lain on his own most unblemished +of reputations. He went up and down upon the points of his toes, rising +up on his instep with a jerk which at once expressed vexation and +defiance--He carried his nose turned up in the air, like that of a pig +when he snuffs the approaching storm--He spoke in monosyllables when he +spoke at all; and--what perhaps illustrated in the strongest manner the +depth of his feelings--he refused, in face of the whole company, to +pledge Sir Bingo in a glass of the Baronet's peculiar cogniac. + +At length, the whole Well was alarmed by the report brought by a smart +outrider, that the young Earl of Etherington, reported to be rising on +the horizon of fashion as a star of the first magnitude, intended to +pass an hour, or a day, or a week, as it might happen, (for his lordship +could not be supposed to know his own mind,) at St. Ronan's Well. + +This suddenly put all in motion. Almanacks were opened to ascertain his +lordship's age, enquiries were made concerning the extent of his +fortune, his habits were quoted, his tastes were guessed at; and all +that the ingenuity of the Managing Committee could devise was resorted +to, in order to recommend their Spa to this favourite of fortune. An +express was dispatched to Shaws-Castle with the agreeable intelligence, +which fired the train of hope that led to Mowbray's appropriation of his +sister's capital. He did not, however, think proper to obey the summons +to the Spring; for, not being aware in what light the Earl might regard +the worthies there assembled, he did not desire to be found by his +lordship in any strict connexion with them. + +Sir Bingo Binks was in a different situation. The bravery with which he +had endured the censure of the place began to give way, when he +considered that a person of such distinction as that which public +opinion attached to Lord Etherington, should find him bodily indeed at +St. Ronan's, but, so far as society was concerned, on the road towards +the ancient city of Coventry; and his banishment thither, incurred by +that most unpardonable offence in modern morality, a solecism in the +code of honour. Though sluggish and inert when called to action, the +Baronet was by no means an absolute coward; or, if so, he was of that +class which fights when reduced to extremity. He manfully sent for +Captain MacTurk, who waited upon him with a grave solemnity of aspect, +which instantly was exchanged for a radiant joy, when Sir Bingo, in a +few words, empowered him to carry a message to that d----d strolling +artist, by whom he had been insulted three days since. + +"By Cot," said the Captain, "my exceedingly goot and excellent friend, +and I am happy to do such a favour for you! And it's well you have +thought of it yourself; because, if it had not been for some of our very +goot and excellent friends, that would be putting their spoon into other +folk's dish, I should have been asking you a civil question myself, how +you came to dine with us, with all that mud and mire which Mr. Tyrrel's +grasp has left upon the collar of your coat--you understand me.--But it +is much better as it is, and I will go to the man with all the speed of +light; and though, to be sure, it should have been sooner thought of, +yet let me alone to make an excuse for that, just in my own civil +way--better late thrive than never do well, you know, Sir Bingo; and if +you have made him wait a little while for his morning, you must give him +the better measure, my darling." + +So saying, he awaited no reply, lest peradventure the commission with +which he was so hastily and unexpectedly charged, should have been +clogged with some condition of compromise. No such proposal, however, +was made on the part of the doughty Sir Bingo, who eyed his friend as he +hastily snatched up his rattan to depart, with a dogged look of +obstinacy, expressive, to use his own phrase, of a determined resolution +to come up to the scratch; and when he heard the Captain's parting +footsteps, and saw the door shut behind him, he valiantly whistled a few +bars of Jenny Sutton, in token he cared not a farthing how the matter +was to end. + +With a swifter pace than his half-pay leisure usually encouraged, or +than his habitual dignity permitted, Captain MacTurk cleared the ground +betwixt the Spring and its gay vicinity, and the ruins of the Aultoun, +where reigned our friend Meg Dods, the sole assertor of its ancient +dignities. To the door of the Cleikum Inn the Captain addressed himself, +as one too much accustomed to war to fear a rough reception; although at +the very first aspect of Meg, who presented her person at the half +opened door, his military experience taught him that his entrance into +the place would, in all probability, be disputed. + +"Is Mr. Tyrrel at home?" was the question; and the answer was conveyed, +by the counter-interrogation, "Wha may ye be that speers?" + +As the most polite reply to this question, and an indulgence, at the +same time, of his own taciturn disposition, the Captain presented to +Luckie Dods the fifth part of an ordinary playing card, much grimed with +snuff, which bore on its blank side his name and quality. But Luckie +Dods rejected the information thus tendered, with contemptuous scorn. + +"Nane of your deil's play-books for me," said she; "it's an ill world +since sic prick-my-dainty doings came in fashion--It's a poor tongue +that canna tell its ain name, and I'll hae nane of your scarts upon +pasteboard." + +"I am Captain MacTurk, of the ---- regiment," said the Captain, +disdaining further answer. + +"MacTurk?" repeated Meg, with an emphasis, which induced the owner of +the name to reply, "Yes, honest woman--MacTurk--Hector MacTurk--have you +any objections to my name, goodwife?" + +"Nae objections have I," answered Meg; "it's e'en an excellent name for +a heathen.--But, Captain MacTurk, since sae it be that ye are a captain, +ye may e'en face about and march your ways hame again, to the tune of +Dumbarton drums; for ye are ganging to have nae speech of Maister Tirl, +or ony lodger of mine." + +"And wherefore not?" demanded the veteran; "and is this of your own +foolish head, honest woman, or has your lodger left such orders?" + +"Maybe he has and maybe no," answered Meg, sturdily; "and I ken nae mair +right that ye suld ca' me honest woman, than I have to ca' you honest +man, whilk is as far frae my thoughts as it wad be from heaven's truth." + +"The woman is deleerit!" said Captain MacTurk; "but coom, coom--a +gentleman is not to be misused in this way when he comes on a +gentleman's business; so make you a bit room on the door-stane, that I +may pass by you, or I will make room for myself, by Cot! to your small +pleasure." + +And so saying he assumed the air of a man who was about to make good his +passage. But Meg, without deigning farther reply, flourished around her +head the hearth-broom, which she had been employing to its more +legitimate purpose, when disturbed in her housewifery by Captain +MacTurk. + +"I ken your errand weel eneugh, Captain--and I ken yoursell. Ye are ane +of the folk that gang about yonder setting folk by the lugs, as callants +set their collies to fight. But ye sall come to nae lodger o' mine, let +a-be Maister Tirl, wi' ony sic ungodly errand; for I am ane that will +keep God's peace and the King's within my dwelling." + +So saying, and in explicit token of her peaceable intentions, she again +flourished her broom. + +The veteran instinctively threw himself under Saint George's guard, and +drew two paces back, exclaiming, "That the woman was either mad, or as +drunk as whisky could make her;" an alternative which afforded Meg so +little satisfaction, that she fairly rushed on her retiring adversary, +and began to use her weapon to fell purpose. + +"Me drunk, ye scandalous blackguard!" (a blow with the broom interposed +as parenthesis,) "me, that am fasting from all but sin and bohea!" +(another whack.) + +The Captain, swearing, exclaiming, and parrying, caught the blows as +they fell, showing much dexterity in single-stick. The people began to +gather; and how long his gallantry might have maintained itself against +the spirit of self-defence and revenge, must be left uncertain, for the +arrival of Tyrrel, returned from a short walk, put a period to the +contest. + +Meg, who had a great respect for her guest, began to feel ashamed of her +own violence, and slunk into the house; observing, however, that she +trewed she had made her hearth-broom and the auld heathen's pow right +weel acquainted. The tranquillity which ensued upon her departure, gave +Tyrrel an opportunity to ask the Captain, whom he at length recognised, +the meaning of this singular affray, and whether the visit was intended +for him; to which the veteran replied very discomposedly, that "he +should have known that long enough ago, if he had had decent people to +open his door, and answer a civil question, instead of a flyting +madwoman, who was worse than an eagle," he said, "or a mastiff-bitch, or +a she-bear, or any other female beast in the creation." + +Half suspecting his errand, and desirous to avoid unnecessary notoriety, +Tyrrel, as he showed the Captain to the parlour, which he called his +own, entreated him to excuse the rudeness of his landlady, and to pass +from the topic to that which had procured him the honour of this visit. + +"And you are right, my good Master Tyrrel," said the Captain, pulling +down the sleeves of his coat, adjusting his handkerchief and +breast-ruffle, and endeavouring to recover the composure of manner +becoming his mission, but still adverting indignantly to the usage he +had received--"By Cot! if she had but been a man, if it were the King +himself--However, Mr. Tyrrel, I am come on a civil errand--and very +civilly I have been treated--the auld bitch should be set in the stocks, +and be tamned!--My friend, Sir Bingo--By Cot! I shall never forget that +woman's insolence--if there be a constable or a cat-o'-nine-tails within +ten miles"---- + +"I perceive, Captain," said Tyrrel, "that you are too much disturbed at +this moment to enter upon the business which has brought you here--if +you will step into my bedroom, and make use of some cold water and a +towel, it will give you the time to compose yourself a little." + +"I shall do no such thing, Mr. Tyrrel," answered the Captain, +snappishly; "I do not want to be composed at all, and I do not want to +stay in this house a minute longer than to do my errand to you on my +friend's behalf--And as for this tamned woman Dods"---- + +"You will in that case forgive my interrupting you, Captain MacTurk, as +I presume your errand to me can have no reference to this strange +quarrel with my landlady, with which I have nothing to"---- + +"And if I thought that it had, sir," said the Captain, interrupting +Tyrrel in his turn, "you should have given me satisfaction before you +was a quarter of an hour older--Oh, I would give five pounds to the +pretty fellow that would say, Captain MacTurk, the woman did right!" + +"I certainly will not be that person you wish for, Captain," replied +Tyrrel, "because I really do not know who was in the right or wrong; but +I am certainly sorry that you should have met with ill usage, when your +purpose was to visit me." + +"Well, sir, if you are concerned," said the man of peace, snappishly, +"so am I, and there is an end of it.--And touching my errand to you--you +cannot have forgotten that you treated my friend, Sir Bingo Binks, with +singular incivility?" + +"I recollect nothing of the kind, Captain," replied Tyrrel. "I remember +that the gentleman, so called, took some uncivil liberties in laying +foolish bets concerning me, and that I treated him, from respect to the +rest of the company, and the ladies in particular, with a great degree +of moderation and forbearance." + +"And you must have very fine ideas of forbearance," replied the Captain, +"when you took my good friend by the collar of the coat, and lifted him +out of your way as if he had been a puppy dog! My good Mr. Tyrrel, I can +assure you he does not think that you have forborne him at all, and he +has no purpose to forbear you; and I must either carry back a sufficient +apology, or you must meet in a quiet way, with a good friend on each +side.--And this was the errand I came on, when this tamned woman, with +the hearth-broom, who is an enemy to all quiet and peaceable +proceedings"---- + +"We will forget Mrs. Dods for the present, if you please, Captain +MacTurk," said Tyrrel--"and, to speak to the present subject, you will +permit me to say, that I think this summons comes a little of the +latest. You know best as a military man, but I have always understood +that such differences are usually settled immediately after they +occur--not that I intend to baulk Sir Bingo's inclinations upon the +score of delay, or any other account." + +"I dare say you will not--I dare say you will not, Mr. Tyrrel," answered +the Captain--"I am free to think that you know better what belongs to a +gentleman.--And as to time--look you, my good sir, there are different +sorts of people in this world, as there are different sorts of +fire-arms. There are your hair-trigger'd rifles, that go off just at the +right moment, and in the twinkling of an eye, and that, Mr. Tyrrel, is +your true man of honour;--and there is a sort of person that takes a +thing up too soon, and sometimes backs out of it, like your rubbishy +Birmingham pieces, that will at one time go off at half-cock, and at +another time burn priming without going off at all;--then again pieces +that hang fire--or I should rather say, that are like the matchlocks +which the black fellows use in the East Indies--there must be some +blowing of the match, and so forth, which occasions delay, but the piece +carries true enough after all." + +"And your friend Sir Bingo's valour is of this last kind, Captain--I +presume that is the inference. I should have thought it more like a +boy's cannon, which is fired by means of a train, and is but a pop-gun +after all." + +"I cannot allow of such comparisons, sir," said the Captain; "you will +understand that I come here as Sir Bingo's friend, and a reflection on +him will be an affront to me." + +"I disclaim all intended offence to you, Captain--I have no wish to +extend the number of my adversaries, or to add to them the name of a +gallant officer like yourself," replied Tyrrel. + +"You are too obliging, sir," said the Captain, drawing himself up with +dignity. "By Cot! and that was said very handsomely!--Well, sir, and +shall I not have the pleasure of carrying back any explanation from you +to Sir Bingo?--I assure you it would give me pleasure to make this +matter handsomely up." + +"To Sir Bingo, Captain MacTurk, I have no apology to offer--I think I +treated him more gently than his impertinence deserved." + +"Och, Och!" sighed the Captain, with a strong Highland intonation; "then +there is no more to be said, but just to settle time and place; for +pistols I suppose must be the weapons." + +"All these matters are quite the same to me," said Tyrrel; "only, in +respect of time, I should wish it to be as speedy as possible.--What say +you to one, afternoon, this very day?--You may name the place." + +"At one, afternoon," replied the Captain deliberately, "Sir Bingo will +attend you--the place may be the Buck-stane; for as the whole company go +to the water-side to-day to eat a kettle of fish,[I-18] there will be no +risk of interruption.--And who shall I speak to, my good friend, on your +side of the quarrel?" + +"Really, Captain," replied Tyrrel, "that is a puzzling question--I have +no friend here--I suppose you could hardly act for both?" + +"It would be totally, absolutely, and altogether out of the question, my +good friend," replied MacTurk. "But if you will trust to me, I will +bring up a friend on your part from the Well, who, though you have +hardly seen him before, will settle matters for you as well as if you +had been intimate for twenty years--and I will bring up the Doctor too, +if I can get him unloosed from the petticoat of that fat widow Blower, +that he has strung himself upon." + +"I have no doubt you will do every thing with perfect accuracy, Captain. +At one o'clock, then, we meet at the Buck-stane--Stay, permit me to see +you to the door." + +"By Cot! and it is not altogether so unnecessary," said the Captain; +"for the tamned woman with the besom might have some advantage in that +long dark passage, knowing the ground better than I do--tamn her, I will +have amends on her, if there be whipping-post, or ducking-stool, or a +pair of stocks in the parish!" And so saying, the Captain trudged off, +his spirits ever and anon agitated by recollection of the causeless +aggression of Meg Dods, and again composed to a state of happy serenity +by the recollection of the agreeable arrangement which he had made +between Mr. Tyrrel, and his friend Sir Bingo Binks. + +We have heard of men of undoubted benevolence of character and +disposition, whose principal delight was to see a miserable criminal, +degraded alike by his previous crimes, and the sentence which he had +incurred, conclude a vicious and wretched life, by an ignominious and +painful death. It was some such inconsistency of character which induced +honest Captain MacTurk, who had really been a meritorious officer, and +was a good-natured, honourable, and well-intentioned man, to place his +chief delight in setting his friends by the ears, and then acting as +umpire in the dangerous rencontres, which, according to his code of +honour, were absolutely necessary to restore peace and cordiality. We +leave the explanation of such anomalies to the labours of craniologists, +for they seem to defy all the researches of the Ethic philosopher. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[I-18] A kettle of fish is a _fete-champetre_ of a particular kind, which +is to other _fetes-champetres_ what the piscatory eclogues of Brown or +Sannazario are to pastoral poetry. A large caldron is boiled by the side +of a salmon river, containing a quantity of water, thickened with salt +to the consistence of brine. In this the fish is plunged when taken, and +eaten by the company _fronde super viridi_. This is accounted the best +way of eating salmon, by those who desire to taste the fish in a state +of extreme freshness. Others prefer it after being kept a day or two, +when the curd melts into oil, and the fish becomes richer and more +luscious. The more judicious gastronomes eat no other sauce than a +spoonful of the water in which the salmon is boiled, together with a +little pepper and vinegar. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +DISAPPOINTMENT. + + _Evans._ I pray you now, good Master Slender's serving-man, and + friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master + Caius? + + _Slender._ Marry, sir, the City-ward, the Park-ward, every way; Old + Windsor way, and every way. + +_Merry Wives of Windsor._ + + +Sir Bingo Binks received the Captain's communication with the same +dogged sullenness he had displayed at sending the challenge; a most +ungracious _humph_, ascending, as it were, from the very bottom of his +stomach, through the folds of a Belcher handkerchief, intimating his +acquiescence, in a tone nearly as gracious as that with which the drowsy +traveller acknowledges the intimation of the slipshod ostler, that it is +on the stroke of five, and the horn will sound in a minute. Captain +MacTurk by no means considered this ejaculation as expressing a proper +estimate of his own trouble and services. "Humph?" he replied; "and what +does that mean, Sir Bingo? Have not I here had the trouble to put you +just into the neat road; and would you have been able to make a handsome +affair out of it at all, after you had let it hang so long in the wind, +if I had not taken on myself to make it agreeable to the gentleman, and +cooked as neat a mess out of it as I have seen a Frenchman do out of a +stale sprat?" + +Sir Bingo saw it was necessary to mutter some intimation of acquiescence +and acknowledgment, which, however inarticulate, was sufficient to +satisfy the veteran, to whom the adjustment of a personal affair of this +kind was a labour of love, and who now, kindly mindful of his promise to +Tyrrel, hurried away as if he had been about the most charitable action +upon earth, to secure the attendance of some one as a witness on the +stranger's part. + +Mr. Winterblossom was the person whom MacTurk had in his own mind +pitched upon as the fittest person to perform this act of benevolence, +and he lost no time in communicating his wish to that worthy gentleman. +But Mr. Winterblossom, though a man of the world, and well enough +acquainted with such matters, was by no means so passionately addicted +to them as was the man of peace, Captain Hector MacTurk. As a _bon +vivant_, he hated trouble of any kind, and the shrewd selfishness of his +disposition enabled him to foresee, that a good deal might accrue to all +concerned in the course of this business. He, therefore, coolly replied, +that he knew nothing of Mr. Tyrrel--not even whether he was a gentleman +or not; and besides, he had received no regular application in his +behalf--he did not, therefore, feel himself at all inclined to go to the +field as his second. This refusal drove the poor Captain to despair. He +conjured his friend to be more public-spirited, and entreated him to +consider the reputation of the Well, which was to them as a common +country, and the honour of the company to which they both belonged, and +of which Mr. Winterblossom was in a manner the proper representative, as +being, with consent of all, the perpetual president. He reminded him +how many quarrels had been nightly undertaken and departed from on the +ensuing morning, without any suitable consequences--said, "that people +began to talk of the place oddly; and that, for his own part, he found +his own honour so nearly touched, that he had begun to think he himself +would be obliged to bring somebody or other to account, for the general +credit of the Well; and now, just when the most beautiful occasion had +arisen to put every thing on a handsome footing, it was hard--it was +cruel--it was most unjustifiable--in Mr. Winterblossom, to decline so +simple a matter as was requested of him." + +Dry and taciturn as the Captain was on all ordinary occasions, he +proved, on the present, eloquent and almost pathetic; for the tears came +into his eyes when he recounted the various quarrels which had become +addled, notwithstanding his best endeavours to hatch them into an +honourable meeting; and here was one, at length, just chipping the +shell, like to be smothered, for want of the most ordinary concession on +the part of Winterblossom. In short, that gentleman could not hold out +any longer. "It was," he said, "a very foolish business, he thought; but +to oblige Sir Bingo and Captain MacTurk, he had no objection to walk +with them about noon as far as the Buck-stane, although he must observe +the day was hazy, and he had felt a prophetic twinge or two, which +looked like a visit of his old acquaintance podagra." + +"Never mind that, my excellent friend," said the Captain, "a sup out of +Sir Bingo's flask is like enough to put that to rights; and by my soul, +it is not the thing he is like to leave behind him on this sort of +occasion, unless I be far mistaken in my man." + +"But," said Winterblossom, "although I comply with your wishes thus far, +Captain MacTurk, I by no means undertake for certain to back this same +Master Tyrrel, of whom I know nothing at all, but only agree to go to +the place in hopes of preventing mischief." + +"Never fash your beard about that, Mr. Winterblossom," replied the +Captain; "for a little mischief, as you call it, is become a thing +absolutely necessary to the credit of the place; and I am sure, whatever +be the consequences, they cannot in the present instance be very fatal +to any body; for here is a young fellow that, if he should have a +misfortune, nobody will miss, for nobody knows him; then there is Sir +Bingo, whom every body knows so well, that they will miss him all the +less." + +"And there will be Lady Bingo, a wealthy and handsome young widow," said +Winterblossom, throwing his hat upon his head with the grace and +pretension of former days, and sighing to see, as he looked in the +mirror, how much time, that had whitened his hair, rounded his stomach, +wrinkled his brow, and bent down his shoulders, had disqualified him, as +he expressed it, "for entering for such a plate." + +Secure of Winterblossom, the Captain's next anxiety was to obtain the +presence of Dr. Quackleben, who, although he wrote himself M.D., did not +by any means decline practice as a surgeon, when any job offered for +which he was likely to be well paid, as was warranted in the present +instance, the wealthy baronet being a party principally concerned. The +Doctor, therefore, like the eagle scenting the carnage, seized, at the +first word, the huge volume of morocco leather which formed his case of +portable instruments, and uncoiled before the Captain, with ostentatious +display, its formidable and glittering contents, upon which he began to +lecture as upon a copious and interesting text, until the man of war +thought it necessary to give him a word of caution. + +"Och," says he, "I do pray you, Doctor, to carry that packet of yours +under the breast of your coat, or in your pocket, or somewhere out of +sight, and by no means to produce or open it before the parties. For +although scalpels, and tourniquets, and pincers, and the like, are very +ingenious implements, and pretty to behold, and are also useful when +time and occasion call for them, yet I have known the sight of them take +away a man's fighting stomach, and so lose their owner a job, Dr. +Quackleben." + +"By my faith, Captain MacTurk," said the Doctor, "you speak as if you +were graduated!--I have known these treacherous articles play their +master many a cursed trick. The very sight of my forceps, without the +least effort on my part, once cured an inveterate toothache of three +days' duration, prevented the extraction of a carious molendinar, which +it was the very end of their formation to achieve, and sent me home +minus a guinea.--But hand me that great-coat, Captain, and we will place +the instruments in ambuscade, until they are called into action in due +time. I should think something will happen--Sir Bingo is a sure shot at +a moorcock." + +"Cannot say," replied MacTurk; "I have known the pistol shake many a +hand that held the fowlingpiece fast enough. Yonder Tyrrel looks like a +teevilish cool customer--I watched him the whole time I was delivering +my errand, and I can promise you he is mettle to the backbone." + +"Well--I will have my bandages ready _secundum artem_," replied the man +of medicine. "We must guard against haemorrhage--Sir Bingo is a plethoric +subject.--One o'clock, you say--at the Buck-stane--I will be punctual." + +"Will you not walk with us?" said Captain MacTurk, who seemed willing to +keep his whole convoy together on this occasion, lest, peradventure, any +of them had fled from under his patronage. + +"No," replied the Doctor, "I must first make an apology to worthy Mrs. +Blower, for I had promised her my arm down to the river-side, where they +are all to eat a kettle of fish." + +"By Cot! and I hope we shall make them a prettier kettle of fish than +was ever seen at St. Ronan's," said the Captain, rubbing his hands. + +"Don't say _we_, Captain," replied the cautious Doctor; "I for one have +nothing to do with the meeting--wash my hands of it. No, no, I cannot +afford to be clapt up as accessory.--You ask me to meet you at the +Buck-stane--no purpose assigned--I am willing to oblige my worthy +friend, Captain MacTurk--walk that way, thinking of nothing +particular--hear the report of pistols--hasten to the spot--fortunately +just in time to prevent the most fatal consequences--chance most +opportunely to have my case of instruments with me--indeed, generally +walk with them about me--_nunquam non paratus_--then give my +professional definition of the wound and state of the patient. That is +the way to give evidence, Captain, before sheriffs, coroners, and such +sort of folk--never commit one's self--it is a rule of our profession." + +"Well, well, Doctor," answered the Captain, "you know your own ways +best; and so you are but there to give a chance of help in case of +accident, all the laws of honour will be fully complied with. But it +would be a foul reflection upon me, as a man of honour, if I did not +take care that there should be somebody to come in thirdsman between +Death and my principal." + +At the awful hour of one afternoon, there arrived upon the appointed +spot Captain MacTurk, leading to the field the valorous Sir Bingo, not +exactly straining like a greyhound in the slips, but rather looking +moody like a butcher's bull-dog, which knows he must fight since his +master bids him. Yet the Baronet showed no outward flinching or +abatement of courage, excepting, that the tune of Jenny Sutton, which he +had whistled without intermission since he left the Hotel, had, during +the last half mile of their walk, sunk into silence; although, to look +at the muscles of the mouth, projection of the lip, and vacancy of the +eye, it seemed as if the notes were still passing through his mind, and +that he whistled Jenny Sutton in his imagination. Mr. Winterblossom came +two minutes after this happy pair, and the Doctor was equally punctual. + +"Upon my soul," said the former, "this is a mighty silly affair, Sir +Bingo, and might, I think, be easily taken up, at less risk to all +parties than a meeting of this kind. You should recollect, Sir Bingo, +that you have much depending upon your life--you are a married man, Sir +Bingo." + +Sir Bingo turned the quid in his mouth, and squirted out the juice in a +most coachman-like manner. + +"Mr. Winterblossom," said the Captain, "Sir Bingo has in this matter put +himself in my hands, and unless you think yourself more able to direct +his course than I am, I must frankly tell you, that I will be disobliged +by your interference. You may speak to your own friend as much as you +please; and if you find yourself authorized to make any proposal, I +shall be desirous to lend an ear to it on the part of my worthy +principal, Sir Bingo. But I will be plain with you, that I do not +greatly approve of settlements upon the field, though I hope I am a +quiet and peaceable man. But here is our honour to be looked after in +the first place; and moreover, I must insist that every proposal for +accommodation shall originate with your party or yourself." + +"_My_ party?" answered Winterblossom; "why really, though I came hither +at your request, Captain MacTurk, yet I must see more of the matter, ere +I can fairly pronounce myself second to a man I never saw but once." + +"And, perhaps, may never see again," said the Doctor, looking at his +watch; "for it is ten minutes past the hour, and here is no Mr. Tyrrel." + +"Hey! what's that you say, Doctor?" said the Baronet, awakened from his +apathy. + +"He speaks tamned nonsense," said the Captain, pulling out a huge, +old-fashioned, turnip-shaped implement, with a blackened silver +dial-plate. "It is not above three minutes after one by the true time, +and I will uphold Mr. Tyrrel to be a man of his word--never saw a man +take a thing more coolly." + +"Not more coolly than he takes his walk this way," said the Doctor; "for +the hour is as I tell you--remember, I am professional--have pulses to +count by the second and half-second--my timepiece must go as true as the +sun." + +"And I have mounted guard a thousand times by my watch," said the +Captain; "and I defy the devil to say that Hector MacTurk did not always +discharge his duty to the twentieth part of the fraction of a second--it +was my great grandmother, Lady Killbracklin's, and I will maintain its +reputation against any timepiece that ever went upon wheels." + +"Well, then, look at your own watch, Captain," said Winterblossom, "for +time stands still with no man, and while we speak the hour advances. On +my word, I think this Mr. Tyrrel intends to humbug us." + +"Hey! what's that you say?" said Sir Bingo, once more starting from his +sullen reverie. + +"I shall not look at my watch upon no such matter," said the Captain; +"nor will I any way be disposed to doubt your friend's honour, Mr. +Winterblossom." + +"_My_ friend?" said Mr. Winterblossom; "I must tell you once more, +Captain, that this Mr. Tyrrel is no friend of mine--none in the world. +He is your friend, Captain MacTurk; and I own, if he keeps us waiting +much longer on this occasion, I will be apt to consider his friendship +as of very little value." + +"And how dare you, then, say that the man is my friend?" said the +Captain, knitting his brows in a most formidable manner. + +"Pooh! pooh! Captain," answered Winterblossom, coolly, if not +contemptuously--"keep all that for silly boys; I have lived in the world +too long either to provoke quarrels, or to care about them. So, reserve +your fire; it is all thrown away on such an old cock as I am. But I +really wish we knew whether this fellow means to come--twenty minutes +past the hour--I think it is odds that you are bilked, Sir Bingo?" + +"Bilked! hey!" cried Sir Bingo; "by Gad, I always thought so--I wagered +with Mowbray he was a raff--I am had, by Gad. I'll wait no longer than +the half hour, by Gad, were he a field-marshal." + +"You will be directed in that matter by your friend, if you please, Sir +Bingo," said the Captain. + +"D---- me if I will," returned the Baronet--"Friend? a pretty friend, to +bring me out here on such a fool's errand! I knew the fellow was a +raff--but I never thought you, with all your chaff about honour, such a +d----d spoon as to bring a message from a fellow who has fled the pit!" + +"If you regret so much having come here to no purpose," said the +Captain, in a very lofty tone, "and if you think I have used you like a +spoon, as you say, I will have no objection in life to take Mr. Tyrrel's +place, and serve your occasion, my boy!" + +"By ----! and if you like it, you may fire away, and welcome," said Sir +Bingo; "and I'll spin a crown for first shot, for I do not understand +being brought here for nothing, d---- me!" + +"And there was never man alive so ready as I am to give you something to +stay your stomach," said the irritable Highlander. + +[Illustration] + +"Oh fie, gentlemen! fie, fie, fie!" exclaimed the pacific Mr. +Winterblossom--"For shame, Captain--Out upon you, Sir Bingo, are you +mad?--what, principal and second!--the like was never heard of--never." + +The parties were in some degree recalled to their more cool +recollections by this expostulation, yet continued a short quarter-deck +walk to and fro, upon parallel lines, looking at each other sullenly as +they passed, and bristling like two dogs who have a mind to quarrel, yet +hesitate to commence hostilities. During this promenade, also, the +perpendicular and erect carriage of the veteran, rising on his toes at +every step, formed a whimsical contrast with the heavy loutish shuffle +of the bulky Baronet, who had, by dint of practice, very nearly attained +that most enviable of all carriages, the gait of a shambling Yorkshire +ostler. His coarse spirit was now thoroughly kindled, and like iron, or +any other baser metal, which is slow in receiving heat, it retained long +the smouldering and angry spirit of resentment that had originally +brought him to the place, and now rendered him willing to wreak his +uncomfortable feelings upon the nearest object which occurred, since the +first purpose of his coming thither was frustrated. In his own phrase, +his pluck was up, and finding himself in a fighting humour, he thought +it a pity, like Bob Acres, that so much good courage should be thrown +away. As, however, that courage after all consisted chiefly in ill +humour; and as, in the demeanour of the Captain, he read nothing +deferential or deprecatory of his wrath, he began to listen with more +attention to the arguments of Mr. Winterblossom, who entreated them not +to sully, by private quarrel, the honour they had that day so happily +acquired without either blood or risk. + +"It was now," he said, "three quarters of an hour past the time +appointed for this person, who calls himself Tyrrel, to meet Sir Bingo +Binks. Now, instead of standing squabbling here, which serves no +purpose, I propose we should reduce to writing the circumstances which +attend this affair, for the satisfaction of the company at the Well, and +that the memorandum shall be regularly attested by our subscriptions; +after which, I shall farther humbly propose that it be subjected to the +revision of the Committee of Management." + +"I object to any revision of a statement to which my name shall be +appended," said the Captain. + +"Right--very true, Captain," said the complaisant Mr. Winterblossom; +"undoubtedly you know best, and your signature is completely sufficient +to authenticate this transaction--however, as it is the most important +which has occurred since the Spring was established, I propose we shall +all sign the _proces-verbal_, as I may term it." + +"Leave me out, if you please," said the Doctor, not much satisfied that +both the original quarrel and the by-battle had passed over without any +occasion for the offices of a Machaon; "leave me out, if you please; for +it does not become me to be ostensibly concerned in any proceedings, +which have had for their object a breach of the peace. And for the +importance of waiting here for an hour, in a fine afternoon, it is my +opinion there was a more important service done to the Well of St. +Ronan's, when I, Quentin Quackleben, M.D., cured Lady Penelope +Penfeather of her seventh attack upon the nerves, attended with febrile +symptoms." + +"No disparagement to your skill at all, Doctor," said Mr. Winterblossom; +"but I conceive the lesson which this fellow has received will be a +great means to prevent improper persons from appearing at the Spring +hereafter; and, for my part, I shall move that no one be invited to dine +at the table in future, till his name is regularly entered as a member +of the company, in the lists at the public room. And I hope both Sir +Bingo and the Captain will receive the thanks of the company, for their +spirited conduct in expelling the intruder.--Sir Bingo, will you allow +me to apply to your flask--a little twinge I feel, owing to the dampness +of the grass." + +Sir Bingo, soothed by the consequence he had acquired, readily imparted +to the invalid a thimbleful of his cordial, which, we believe, had been +prepared by some cunning chemist in the wilds of Glenlivat. He then +filled a bumper, and extended it towards the veteran, as an unequivocal +symptom of reconciliation. The real turbinacious flavour no sooner +reached the nose of the Captain, than the beverage was turned down his +throat with symptoms of most unequivocal applause. + +"I shall have some hope of the young fellows of this day," he said, "now +that they begin to give up their Dutch and French distilled waters, and +stick to genuine Highland ware. By Cot, it is the only liquor fit for a +gentleman to drink in a morning, if he can have the good fortune to come +by it, you see." + +"Or after dinner either, Captain," said the Doctor, to whom the glass +had passed in rotation; "it is worth all the wines in France for +flavour, and more cordial to the system besides." + +"And now," said the Captain, "that we may not go off the ground with any +thing on our stomachs worse than the whisky, I can afford to say, (as +Captain Hector MacTurk's character is tolerably well established,) that +I am sorry for the little difference that has occurred betwixt me and my +worthy friend, Sir Bingo, here." + +"And since you are so civil, Captain," said Sir Bingo, "why, I am sorry +too--only it would put the devil out of temper to lose so fine a fishing +day--wind south--fine air on the pool--water settled from the +flood--just in trim--and I dare say three pairs of hooks have passed +over my cast before this time!" + +He closed this elaborate lamentation with a libation of the same cordial +which he had imparted to his companions; and they returned in a body to +the Hotel, where the transactions of the morning were soon afterwards +announced to the company, by the following program:-- + + + STATEMENT. + + "Sir Bingo Binks, baronet, having found himself aggrieved by the + uncivil behaviour of an individual calling himself Francis Tyrrel, + now or lately a resident at the Cleikum Inn, Aultoun of St. Ronan's; + and having empowered Captain Hector MacTurk to wait upon the said + Mr. Tyrrel to demand an apology, under the alternative of personal + satisfaction, according to the laws of honour and the practice of + gentlemen, the said Tyrrel voluntarily engaged to meet the said Sir + Bingo Binks, baronet, at the Buck-stane, near St. Ronan's Burn, upon + this present day, being Wednesday ---- August. In consequence of + which appointment, we, the undersigned, did attend at the place + named, from one o'clock till two, without seeing or hearing any + thing whatever of the said Francis Tyrrel, or any one in his + behalf--which fact we make thus publicly known, that all men, and + particularly the distinguished company assembled at the Fox Hotel, + may be duly apprized of the character and behaviour of the said + Francis Tyrrel, in case of his again presuming to intrude himself + into the society of persons of honour. + + "The Fox Inn and Hotel, St. Ronan's Well--August 18--. + + (Signed) + "BINGO BINKS, + HECTOR MACTURK, + PHILIP WINTERBLOSSOM." + +A little lower followed this separate attestation: + + "I, Quentin Quackleben, M.D., F.R.S., D.E., B.L., X.Z., &c. &c., + being called upon to attest what I know in the said matter, do + hereby verify, that being by accident at the Buck-stane, near St. + Ronan's Burn, on this present day, at the hour of one afternoon, and + chancing to remain there for the space of nearly an hour, conversing + with Sir Bingo Binks, Captain MacTurk, and Mr. Winterblossom, we did + not, during that time, see or hear any thing of or from the person + calling himself Francis Tyrrel, whose presence at that place seemed + to be expected by the gentlemen I have just named." + +This affiche was dated like the former, and certified under the august +hand of Quentin Quackleben, M.D., &c. &c. &c. + +Again, and prefaced by the averment that an improper person had been +lately introduced into the company of St. Ronan's Well, there came forth +a legislative enactment, on the part of the Committee, declaring, "that +no one shall in future be invited to the dinners, or balls, or other +entertainments of the Well, until their names shall be regularly entered +in the books kept for the purpose at the rooms." Lastly, there was a +vote of thanks to Sir Bingo Binks and Captain MacTurk for their +spirited conduct, and the pains which they had taken to exclude an +improper person from the company at St. Ronan's Well. + +These annunciations speedily became the magnet of the day. All idlers +crowded to peruse them; and it would be endless to notice the "God bless +me's"--the "Lord have a care of us"--the "Saw you ever the like's" of +gossips, any more than the "Dear me's" and "Oh, laa's" of the titupping +misses, and the oaths of the pantalooned or buck-skin'd beaux. The +character of Sir Bingo rose like the stocks at the news of a dispatch +from the Duke of Wellington, and, what was extraordinary, attained some +consequence even in the estimation of his lady. All shook their heads at +the recollection of the unlucky Tyrrel, and found out much in his manner +and address which convinced them that he was but an adventurer and +swindler. A few, however, less partial to the Committee of Management, +(for whenever there is an administration, there will soon arise an +opposition,) whispered among themselves, that, to give the fellow his +due, the man, be he what he would, had only come among them, like the +devil, when he was called for; and honest Dame Blower blessed herself +when she heard of such bloodthirsty doings as had been intended, and +"thanked God that honest Doctor Kickherben had come to nae harm amang a' +their nonsense." + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE CONSULTATION. + + _Clown._ I hope here be proofs.-- + +_Measure for Measure._ + + +The borough of ---- lies, as all the world knows, about fourteen miles +distant from St. Ronan's, being the county town of that shire, which, as +described in the Tourist's Guide, numbers among its objects of interest +that gay and popular watering-place, whose fame, no doubt, will be +greatly enhanced by the present annals of its earlier history. As it is +at present unnecessary to be more particular concerning the scene of our +story, we will fill up the blank left in the first name with the +fictitious appellation of Marchthorn, having often found ourselves +embarrassed in the course of a story, by the occurrence of an ugly +hiatus, which we cannot always at first sight fill up, with the proper +reference to the rest of the narrative. + +Marchthorn, then, was an old-fashioned Scottish town, the street of +which, on market-day, showed a reasonable number of stout great-coated +yeomen, bartering or dealing for the various commodities of their farms; +and on other days of the week, only a few forlorn burghers, crawling +about like half-awakened flies, and watching the town steeple till the +happy sound of twelve strokes from Time's oracle should tell them it +was time to take their meridian dram. The narrow windows of the shops +intimated very imperfectly the miscellaneous contents of the interior, +where every merchant, as the shopkeepers of Marchthorn were termed, +_more Scotico_, sold every thing that could be thought of. As for +manufactures, there were none, except that of the careful Town-Council, +who were mightily busied in preparing the warp and woof, which, at the +end of every five or six years, the town of Marchthorn contributed, for +the purpose of weaving the fourth or fifth part of a member of +Parliament. + +In such a town, it usually happens, that the Sheriff-clerk, especially +supposing him agent for several lairds of the higher order, is possessed +of one of the best-looking houses; and such was that of Mr. Bindloose. +None of the smartness of the brick-built and brass-hammered mansion of a +southern attorney appeared indeed in this mansion, which was a tall, +thin, grim-looking building, in the centre of the town, with narrow +windows and projecting gables, notched into that sort of descent, called +crow-steps, and having the lower casements defended by stancheons of +iron; for Mr. Bindloose, as frequently happens, kept a branch of one of +the two national banks, which had been lately established in the town of +Marchthorn. + +Towards the door of this tenement, there advanced slowly up the ancient, +but empty streets of this famous borough, a vehicle, which, had it +appeared in Piccadilly, would have furnished unremitted laughter for a +week, and conversation for a twelvemonth. It was a two-wheeled vehicle, +which claimed none of the modern appellations of tilbury, tandem, +dennet, or the like; but aspired only to the humble name of that almost +forgotten accommodation, a whiskey; or, according to some authorities, a +tim-whiskey. Green was, or had been, its original colour, and it was +placed sturdily and safely low upon its little old-fashioned wheels, +which bore much less than the usual proportion to the size of the +carriage which they sustained. It had a calash head, which had been +pulled up, in consideration either to the dampness of the morning air, +or to the retiring delicacy of the fair form which, shrouded by leathern +curtains, tenanted this venerable specimen of antediluvian +coach-building. + +But, as this fair and modest dame noway aspired to the skill of a +charioteer, the management of a horse, which seemed as old as the +carriage he drew, was in the exclusive charge of an old fellow in a +postilion's jacket, whose grey hairs escaped on each side of an +old-fashioned velvet jockey-cap, and whose left shoulder was so +considerably elevated above his head, that it seemed, as if, with little +effort, his neck might have been tucked under his arm, like that of a +roasted grouse-cock. This gallant equerry was mounted on a steed as old +as that which toiled betwixt the shafts of the carriage, and which he +guided by a leading rein. Goading one animal with his single spur, and +stimulating the other with his whip, he effected a reasonable trot upon +the causeway, which only terminated when the whiskey stopped at Mr. +Bindloose's door--an event of importance enough to excite the curiosity +of the inhabitants of that and the neighbouring houses. Wheels were laid +aside, needles left sticking in the half-finished seams, and many a +nose, spectacled and unspectacled, was popped out of the adjoining +windows, which had the good fortune to command a view of Mr. Bindloose's +front door. The faces of two or three giggling clerks were visible at +the barred casements of which we have spoken, much amused at the descent +of an old lady from this respectable carriage, whose dress and +appearance might possibly have been fashionable at the time when her +equipage was new. A satin cardinal, lined with grey squirrels' skin, and +a black silk bonnet, trimmed with crape, were garments which did not now +excite the respect, which in their fresher days they had doubtless +commanded. But there was that in the features of the wearer, which would +have commanded Mr. Bindloose's best regard, though it had appeared in +far worse attire; for he beheld the face of an ancient customer, who had +always paid her law expenses with the ready penny, and whose accompt +with the bank was balanced by a very respectable sum at her credit. It +was, indeed, no other than our respected friend, Mrs. Dods of the +Cleikum Inn, St. Ronan's, Aultoun. + +Now her arrival intimated matter of deep import. Meg was a person of all +others most averse to leave her home, where, in her own opinion at +least, nothing went on well without her immediate superintendence. +Limited, therefore, as was her sphere, she remained fixed in the centre +thereof; and few as were her satellites, they were under the necessity +of performing their revolutions around her, while she herself continued +stationary. Saturn, in fact, would be scarce more surprised at a passing +call from the Sun, than Mr. Bindloose at this unexpected visit of his +old client. In one breath he rebuked the inquisitive impertinence of his +clerks, in another stimulated his housekeeper, old Hannah--for Mr. +Bindloose was a bluff bachelor--to get tea ready in the green parlour; +and while yet speaking, was at the side of the whiskey, unclasping the +curtains, rolling down the apron, and assisting his old friend to +dismount. + +"The japanned tea-caddie, Hannah--the best bohea--bid Tib kindle a spark +of fire--the morning's damp--Draw in the giggling faces of ye, ye d----d +idle scoundrels, or laugh at your ain toom pouches--it will be lang or +your weeldoing fill them." This was spoken, as the honest lawyer himself +might have said, _in transitu_, the rest by the side of the carriage. +"My stars, Mrs. Dods, and is this really your ain sell, _in propria +persona_?--Wha lookit for you at such a time of day?--Anthony, how's a' +wi' ye, Anthony?--so ye hae taen the road again, Anthony--help us down +wi' the apron, Anthony--that will do.--Lean on me, Mrs. Dods--help your +mistress, Anthony--put the horses in my stable--the lads will give you +the key.--Come away, Mrs. Dods--I am blithe to see you straight your +legs on the causeway of our auld borough again--come in by, and we'll +see to get you some breakfast, for ye hae been asteer early this +morning." + +"I am a sair trouble to you, Mr. Bindloose," said the old lady, +accepting the offer of his arm, and accompanying him into the house; "I +am e'en a sair trouble to you, but I could not rest till I had your +advice on something of moment." + +"Happy will I be to serve you, my gude auld acquaintance," said the +Clerk; "but sit you down--sit you down--sit you down, Mrs. Dods--meat +and mess never hindered wark. Ye are something overcome wi' your +travel--the spirit canna aye bear through the flesh, Mrs. Dods; ye +should remember that your life is a precious one, and ye should take +care of your health, Mrs. Dods." + +"My life precious!" exclaimed Meg Dods; "nane o' your whullywhaing, Mr. +Bindloose--Deil ane wad miss the auld girning alewife, Mr. Bindloose, +unless it were here and there a puir body, and maybe the auld +house-tyke, that wadna be sae weel guided, puir fallow." + +"Fie, fie! Mrs. Dods," said the Clerk, in a tone of friendly rebuke; "it +vexes an auld friend to hear ye speak of yourself in that respectless +sort of a way; and, as for quitting us, I bless God I have not seen you +look better this half score of years. But maybe you will be thinking of +setting your house in order, which is the act of a carefu' and of a +Christian woman--O! it's an awfu' thing to die intestate, if we had +grace to consider it." + +"Aweel, I daur say I'll consider that some day soon, Mr. Bindloose; but +that's no my present errand." + +"Be it what it like, Mrs. Dods, ye are right heartily welcome here, and +we have a' the day to speak of the business in hand--_festina lente_, +that is the true law language--hooly and fairly, as one may say--ill +treating of business with an empty stomach--and here comes your tea, and +I hope Hannah has made it to your taste." + +Meg sipped her tea--confessed Hannah's skill in the mysteries of the +Chinese herb--sipped again, then tried to eat a bit of bread and butter, +with very indifferent success; and notwithstanding the lawyer's +compliments to her good looks, seemed in reality, on the point of +becoming ill. + +"In the deil's name, what is the matter!" said the lawyer, too well +read in a profession where sharp observation is peculiarly necessary, to +suffer these symptoms of agitation to escape him. "Ay, dame? ye are +taking this business of yours deeper to heart than ever I kend you take +ony thing. Ony o' your banded debtors failed, or like to fail? What +then! cheer ye up--you can afford a little loss, and it canna be ony +great matter, or I would doubtless have heard of it." + +"In troth, but it _is_ a loss, Mr. Bindloose; and what say ye to the +loss of a friend?" + +This was a possibility which had never entered the lawyer's long list of +calamities, and he was at some loss to conceive what the old lady could +possibly mean by so sentimental a prolusion. But just as he began to +come out with his "Ay, ay, we are all mortal, _Vita incerta, mors +certissima!_" and two or three more pithy reflections, which he was in +the habit of uttering after funerals, when the will of the deceased was +about to be opened,--just then Mrs. Dods was pleased to become the +expounder of her own oracle. + +"I see how it is, Mr. Bindloose," she said; "I maun tell my ain ailment, +for you are no likely to guess it; and so, if ye will shut the door, and +see that nane of your giggling callants are listening in the passage, I +will e'en tell you how things stand with me." + +Mr. Bindloose hastily arose to obey her commands, gave a cautionary +glance into the Bank-office, and saw that his idle apprentices were fast +at their desks--turned the key upon them, as if it were in a fit of +absence, and then returned, not a little curious to know what could be +the matter with his old friend; and leaving off all further attempts to +put cases, quietly drew his chair near hers, and awaited her own time to +make her communication. + +"Mr. Bindloose," said she, "I am no sure that you may mind, about six or +seven years ago, that there were twa daft English callants, lodgers of +mine, that had some trouble from auld St. Ronan's about shooting on the +Springwell-head muirs." + +"I mind it as weel as yesterday, Mistress," said the Clerk; "by the same +token you gave me a note for my trouble, (which wasna worth speaking +about,) and bade me no bring in a bill against the puir bairns--ye had +aye a kind heart, Mrs. Dods." + +"Maybe, and maybe no, Mr. Bindloose--that is just as I find folk.--But +concerning these lads, they baith left the country, and, as I think, in +some ill blude wi' ane another, and now the auldest and the doucest of +the twa came back again about a fortnight sin' syne, and has been my +guest ever since." + +"Aweel, and I trust he is not at his auld tricks again, goodwife?" +answered the Clerk. "I havena sae muckle to say either wi' the new +Sheriff or the Bench of Justices as I used to hae, Mrs. Dods--and the +Procurator-fiscal is very severe on poaching, being borne out by the new +Association--few of our auld friends of the Killnakelty are able to come +to the sessions now, Mrs. Dods." + +"The waur for the country, Mr. Bindloose," replied the old lady--"they +were decent, considerate men, that didna plague a puir herd callant +muckle about a moorfowl or a mawkin, unless he turned common fowler--Sir +Robert Ringhorse used to say, the herd lads shot as mony gleds and pyots +as they did game.--But new lords new laws--naething but fine and +imprisonment, and the game no a feather the plentier. If I wad hae a +brace or twa of birds in the house, as every body looks for them after +the twelfth--I ken what they are like to cost me--And what for no?--risk +maun be paid for.--There is John Pirner himsell, that has keepit the +muir-side thirty year in spite of a' the lairds in the country, shoots, +he tells me, now-a-days, as if he felt a rape about his neck." + +"It wasna about ony game business, then, that you wanted advice?" said +Bindloose, who, though somewhat of a digresser himself, made little +allowance for the excursions of others from the subject in hand. + +"Indeed is it no, Mr. Bindloose," said Meg; "but it is e'en about this +unhappy callant that I spoke to you about.--Ye maun ken I have cleiket a +particular fancy to this lad, Francis Tirl--a fancy that whiles +surprises my very sell, Mr. Bindloose, only that there is nae sin in +it." + +"None--none in the world, Mrs. Dods," said the lawyer, thinking at the +same time within his own mind, "Oho! the mist begins to clear up--the +young poacher has hit the mark, I see--winged the old barren grey +hen!--ay, ay,--a marriage-contract, no doubt--but I maun gie her +line.--Ye are a wise woman, Mrs. Dods," he continued aloud, "and can +doubtless consider the chances and the changes of human affairs." + +"But I could never have considered what has befallen this puir lad, Mr. +Bindloose," said Mrs. Dods, "through the malice of wicked men.--He +lived, then, at the Cleikum, as I tell you, for mair than a fortnight, +as quiet as a lamb on a lea-rig--a decenter lad never came within my +door--ate and drank eneugh for the gude of the house, and nae mair than +was for his ain gude, whether of body or soul--cleared his bills ilka +Saturday at e'en, as regularly as Saturday came round." + +"An admirable customer, no doubt, Mrs. Dods," said the lawyer. + +"Never was the like of him for that matter," answered the honest dame. +"But to see the malice of men!--some of thae landloupers and gill-flirts +down at the filthy puddle yonder, that they ca' the Waal, had heard of +this puir lad, and the bits of pictures that he made fashion of drawing, +and they maun cuitle him awa doun to the bottle, where mony a bonny +story they had clecked, Mr. Bindloose, baith of Mr. Tirl and of mysell." + +"A Commissary Court business," said the writer, going off again upon a +false scent. "I shall trim their jackets for them, Mrs. Dods, if you can +but bring tight evidence of the facts--I will soon bring them to fine +and palinode--I will make them repent meddling with your good name." + +"My gude name! What the sorrow is the matter wi' my name, Mr. +Bindloose?" said the irritable client. "I think ye hae been at the wee +cappie this morning, for as early as it is--My gude name!--if ony body +touched my gude name, I would neither fash counsel nor commissary--I wad +be down amang them, like a jer-falcon amang a wheen wild-geese, and the +best amang them that dared to say ony thing of Meg Dods by what was +honest and civil, I wad sune see if her cockernonnie was made of her ain +hair or other folk's. _My_ gude name, indeed!" + +"Weel, weel, Mrs. Dods, I was mista'en, that's a'," said the writer, "I +was mista'en; and I dare to say you would haud your ain wi' your +neighbours as weel as ony woman in the land--But let us hear now what +the grief is, in one word." + +"In one word, then, Clerk Bindloose, it is little short of--murder," +said Meg, in a low tone, as if the very utterance of the word startled +her. + +"Murder! murder, Mrs. Dods?--it cannot be--there is not a word of it in +the Sheriff-office--the Procurator-fiscal kens nothing of it--there +could not be murder in the country, and me not hear of it--for God's +sake, take heed what you say, woman, and dinna get yourself into +trouble." + +"Mr. Bindloose, I can but speak according to my lights," said Mrs. Dods; +"you are in a sense a judge in Israel, at least you are one of the +scribes having authority--and I tell you, with a wae and bitter heart, +that this puir callant of mine that was lodging in my house has been +murdered or kidnapped awa amang thae banditti folk down at the New Waal; +and I'll have the law put in force against them, if it should cost me a +hundred pounds." + +The Clerk stood much astonished at the nature of Meg's accusation, and +the pertinacity with which she seemed disposed to insist upon it. + +"I have this comfort," she continued, "that whatever has happened, it +has been by no fault of mine, Mr. Bindloose; for weel I wot, before that +bloodthirsty auld half-pay Philistine, MacTurk, got to speech of him, I +clawed his cantle to some purpose with my hearth-besom.--But the poor +simple bairn himsell, that had nae mair knowledge of the wickedness of +human nature than a calf has of a flesher's gully, he threepit to see +the auld hardened bloodshedder, and trysted wi' him to meet wi' some of +the gang at an hour certain that same day, and awa he gaed to keep +tryst, but since that hour naebody ever has set een on him.--And the +mansworn villains now want to put a disgrace on him, and say that he +fled the country rather than face them!--a likely story--fled the +country for them!--and leave his bill unsettled--him that was sae +regular--and his portmantle and his fishing-rod and the pencils and +pictures he held sic a wark about!--It's my faithful belief, Mr. +Bindloose--and ye may trust me or no as ye like--that he had some foul +play between the Cleikum and the Buck-stane. I have thought it, and I +have dreamed it, and I will be at the bottom of it, or my name is not +Meg Dods, and that I wad have them a' to reckon on.--Ay, ay, that's +right, Mr. Bindloose, tak out your pen and inkhorn, and let us set about +it to purpose." + +With considerable difficulty, and at the expense of much +cross-examination, Mr. Bindloose extracted from his client a detailed +account of the proceedings of the company at the Well towards Tyrrel, so +far as they were known to, or suspected by Meg, making notes, as the +examination proceeded, of what appeared to be matter of consequence. +After a moment's consideration, he asked the dame the very natural +question, how she came to be acquainted with the material fact, that a +hostile appointment was made between Captain MacTurk and her lodger, +when, according to her own account, it was made _intra parietes_, and +_remotis testibus_? + +"Ay, but we victuallers ken weel eneugh what goes on in our ain houses," +said Meg--"And what for no?--If ye _maun_ ken a' about it, I e'en +listened through the keyhole of the door." + +"And do you say you heard them settle an appointment for a duel?" said +the Clerk; "and did you no take ony measures to hinder mischief, Mrs. +Dods, having such a respect for this lad as you say you have, Mrs. +Dods?--I really wadna have looked for the like o' this at your hands." + +"In truth, Mr. Bindloose," said Meg, putting her apron to her eyes, "and +that's what vexes me mair than a' the rest, and ye needna say muckle to +ane whose heart is e'en the sairer that she has been a thought to blame. +But there has been mony a challenge, as they ca' it, passed in my house, +when thae daft lads of the Wildfire Club and the Helter-skelter were +upon their rambles; and they had aye sense eneugh to make it up without +fighting, sae that I really did not apprehend ony thing like +mischief.--And ye maun think, moreover, Mr. Bindloose, that it would +have been an unco thing if a guest, in a decent and creditable public +like mine, was to have cried coward before ony of thae landlouping +blackguards that live down at the hottle yonder." + +"That is to say, Mrs. Dods, you were desirous your guest should fight +for the honour of your house," said Bindloose. + +"What for no, Mr. Bindloose?--Isna that kind of fray aye about honour? +and what for should the honour of a substantial, four-nooked, sclated +house of three stories, no be foughten for, as weel as the credit of ony +of these feckless callants that make such a fray about their +reputation?--I promise you my house, the Cleikum, stood in the Auld Town +of St. Ronan's before they were born, and it will stand there after they +are hanged, as I trust some of them are like to be." + +"Well, but perhaps your lodger had less zeal for the honour of the +house, and has quietly taken himself out of harm's way," said Mr. +Bindloose; "for if I understand your story, this meeting never took +place." + +"Have less zeal!" said Meg, determined to be pleased with no supposition +of her lawyer, "Mr. Bindloose, ye little ken him--I wish ye had seen him +when he was angry!--I dared hardly face him mysell, and there are no +mony folk that I am feared for--Meeting! there was nae meeting, I +trow--they never dared to meet him fairly--but I am sure waur came of it +than ever would have come of a meeting; for Anthony heard twa shots gang +off as he was watering the auld naig down at the burn, and that is not +far frae the footpath that leads to the Buck-stane. I was angry at him +for no making on to see what the matter was, but he thought it was auld +Pirner out wi' the double barrel, and he wasna keen of making himself a +witness, in case he suld have been caa'd on in the Poaching Court." + +"Well," said the Sheriff-clerk, "and I dare say he did hear a poacher +fire a couple of shots--nothing more likely. Believe me, Mrs. Dods, your +guest had no fancy for the party Captain MacTurk invited him to--and +being a quiet sort of man, he has just walked away to his own home, if +he has one--I am really sorry you have given yourself the trouble of +this long journey about so simple a matter." + +Mrs. Dods remained with her eyes fixed on the ground in a very sullen +and discontented posture, and when she spoke, it was in a tone of +corresponding displeasure. + +"Aweel--aweel--live and learn, they say--I thought I had a friend in +you, Mr. Bindloose--I am sure I aye took your part when folk miscaa'd +ye, and said ye were this, that, and the other thing, and little better +than an auld sneck-drawing loon, Mr. Bindloose.--And ye have aye keepit +my penny of money, though, nae doubt, Tam Turnpenny lives nearer me, and +they say he allows half a per cent mair than ye do if the siller lies, +and mine is but seldom steered." + +"But ye have not the Bank's security, madam," said Mr. Bindloose, +reddening. "I say harm of nae man's credit--ill would it beseem me--but +there is a difference between Tam Turnpenny and the Bank, I trow." + +"Weel, weel, Bank here Bank there, I thought I had a friend in you, Mr. +Bindloose; and here am I, come from my ain house all the way to yours +for sma' comfort, I think." + +"My stars, madam," said the perplexed scribe, "what would you have me to +do in such a blind story as yours, Mrs. Dods?--Be a thought +reasonable--consider that there is no _Corpus delicti_." + +_"Corpus delicti?_ and what's that?" said Meg; "something to be paid +for, nae doubt, for your hard words a' end in that.--And what for suld I +no have a Corpus delicti, or a Habeas Corpus, or ony other Corpus that I +like, sae lang as I am willing to lick and lay down the ready siller?" + +"Lord help and pardon us, Mrs. Dods," said the distressed agent, "ye +mistake the matter a'thegether! When I say there is no Corpus delicti, I +mean to say there is no proof that a crime has been committed."[I-19] + +"And does the man say that murder is not a crime, than?" answered Meg, +who had taken her own view of the subject far too strongly to be +converted to any other--"Weel I wot it's a crime, baith by the law of +God and man, and mony a pretty man has been strapped for it." + +"I ken all that very weel," answered the writer; "but, my stars, Mrs. +Dods, there is nae evidence of murder in this case--nae proof that a man +has been slain--nae production of his dead body--and that is what we +call the Corpus delicti." + +"Weel, than, the deil lick it out of ye," said Meg, rising in wrath, +"for I will awa hame again; and as for the puir lad's body, I'll hae it +fund, if it cost me turning the earth for three miles round wi' pick and +shool--if it were but to give the puir bairn Christian burial, and to +bring punishment on MacTurk and the murdering crew at the Waal, and to +shame an auld doited fule like yoursell, John Bindloose." + +She rose in wrath to call her vehicle; but it was neither the interest +nor the intention of the writer that his customer and he should part on +such indifferent terms. He implored her patience, and reminded her that +the horses, poor things, had just come off their stage--an argument +which sounded irresistible in the ears of the old she-publican, in whose +early education due care of the post-cattle mingled with the most sacred +duties. She therefore resumed her seat again in a sullen mood, and Mr. +Bindloose was cudgelling his brains for some argument which might bring +the old lady to reason, when his attention was drawn by a noise in the +passage. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[I-19] For example, a man cannot be tried for murder merely in the case of +the non-appearance of an individual; there must be proof that the party +has been murdered. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +A PRAISER OF PAST TIMES. + + ----Now your traveller, + He and his toothpick at my worship's mess. + +_King John._ + + +The noise stated at the conclusion of last chapter to have disturbed Mr. +Bindloose, was the rapping of one, as in haste and impatience, at the +Bank-office door, which office was an apartment of the Banker's house, +on the left hand of his passage, as the parlour in which he had received +Mrs. Dods was upon the right. + +In general, this office was patent to all having business there; but at +present, whatever might be the hurry of the party who knocked, the +clerks within the office could not admit him, being themselves made +prisoners by the prudent jealousy of Mr. Bindloose, to prevent them from +listening to his consultation with Mrs. Dods. They therefore answered +the angry and impatient knocking of the stranger only with stifled +giggling from within, finding it no doubt an excellent joke, that their +master's precaution was thus interfering with their own discharge of +duty. + +With one or two hearty curses upon them, as the regular plagues of his +life, Mr. Bindloose darted into the passage, and admitted the stranger +into his official apartment. The doors both of the parlour and office +remaining open, the ears of Luckie Dods (experienced, as the reader +knows, in collecting intelligence) could partly overhear what passed. +The conversation seemed to regard a cash transaction of some importance, +as Meg became aware when the stranger raised a voice which was naturally +sharp and high, as he did when uttering the following words, towards the +close of a conversation which had lasted about five minutes--"Premium?--Not +a pice, sir--not a courie--not a farthing--premium for a Bank of England +bill?--d'ye take me for a fool, sir?--do not I know that you call forty +days par when you give remittances to London?" + +Mr. Bindloose was here heard to mutter something indistinctly about the +custom of the trade. + +"Custom!" retorted the stranger, "no such thing--damn'd bad custom, if +it is one--don't tell me of customs--'Sbodikins, man, I know the rate of +exchange all over the world, and have drawn bills from Timbuctoo--My +friends in the Strand filed it along with Bruce's from Gondar--talk to +me of premium on a Bank of England post-bill!--What d'ye look at the +bill for?--D'ye think it doubtful--I can change it." + +"By no means necessary," answered Bindloose, "the bill is quite right; +but it is usual to indorse, sir." + +"Certainly--reach me a pen--d'ye think I can write with my rattan?--What +sort of ink is this?--yellow as curry sauce--never mind--there is my +name--Peregrine Touchwood--I got it from the Willoughbies, my Christian +name--Have I my full change here?" + +"Your full change, sir," answered Bindloose. + +"Why, you should give _me_ a premium, friend, instead of me giving you +one." + +"It is out of our way, I assure you, sir," said the Banker, "quite out +of our way--but if you would step into the parlour and take a cup of +tea"---- + +"Why, ay," said the stranger, his voice sounding more distinctly as +(talking all the while, and ushered along by Mr. Bindloose) he left the +office and moved towards the parlour, "a cup of tea were no such bad +thing, if one could come by it genuine--but as for your premium"----So +saying, he entered the parlour and made his bow to Mrs. Dods, who, +seeing what she called a decent, purpose-like body, and aware that his +pocket was replenished with English and Scottish paper currency, +returned the compliment with her best curtsy. + +Mr. Touchwood, when surveyed more at leisure, was a short, stout, active +man, who, though sixty years of age and upwards, retained in his sinews +and frame the elasticity of an earlier period. His countenance expressed +self-confidence, and something like a contempt for those who had neither +seen nor endured so much as he had himself. His short black hair was +mingled with grey, but not entirely whitened by it. His eyes were +jet-black, deep-set, small, and sparkling, and contributed, with a short +turned-up nose, to express an irritable and choleric habit. His +complexion was burnt to a brick-colour by the vicissitudes of climate, +to which it had been subjected; and his face, which at the distance of a +yard or two seemed hale and smooth, appeared, when closely examined, to +be seamed with a million of wrinkles, crossing each other in every +direction possible, but as fine as if drawn by the point of a very +small needle.[I-20] His dress was a blue coat and buff waistcoat, half +boots remarkably well blacked, and a silk handkerchief tied with +military precision. The only antiquated part of his dress was a cocked +hat of equilateral dimensions, in the button-hole of which he wore a +very small cockade. Mrs. Dods, accustomed to judge of persons by their +first appearance, said, that in the three steps which he made from the +door to the tea-table, she recognised, without the possibility of +mistake, the gait of a person who was well to pass in the world; "and +that," she added with a wink, "is what we victuallers are seldom +deceived in. If a gold-laced waistcoat has an empty pouch, the plain +swan's-down will be the brawer of the twa." + +"A drizzling morning, good madam," said Mr. Touchwood, as with a view of +sounding what sort of company he had got into. + +"A fine saft morning for the crap, sir," answered Mrs. Dods, with equal +solemnity. + +"Right, my good madam; _soft_ is the very word, though it has been some +time since I heard it. I have cast a double hank about the round world +since I last heard of a soft[I-21] morning." + +"You will be from these parts, then?" said the writer, ingeniously +putting a case, which, he hoped, would induce the stranger to explain +himself. "And yet, sir," he added, after a pause, "I was thinking that +Touchwood is not a Scottish name, at least that I ken of." + +"Scottish name?--no," replied the traveller; "but a man may have been in +these parts before, without being a native--or, being a native, he may +have had some reason to change his name--there are many reasons why men +change their names." + +"Certainly, and some of them very good ones," said the lawyer; "as in +the common case of an heir of entail, where deed of provision and +tailzie is maist ordinarily implemented by taking up name and arms." + +"Ay, or in the case of a man having made the country too hot for him +under his own proper appellative," said Mr. Touchwood. + +"That is a supposition, sir," replied the lawyer, "which it would ill +become me to put.--But at any rate, if you knew this country formerly, +ye cannot but be marvellously pleased with the change we have been +making since the American war--hill-sides bearing clover instead of +heather--rents doubled, trebled, quadrupled--the auld reekie dungeons +pulled down, and gentlemen living in as good houses as you will see any +where in England." + +"Much good may it do them, for a pack of fools!" replied Mr. Touchwood, +hastily. + +"You do not seem much delighted with our improvements, sir?" said the +banker, astonished to hear a dissentient voice where he conceived all +men were unanimous. + +"Pleased!" answered the stranger--"Yes, as much pleased as I am with the +devil, who I believe set many of them agoing. Ye have got an idea that +every thing must be changed--Unstable as water, ye shall not excel--I +tell ye, there have been more changes in this poor nook of yours within +the last forty years, than in the great empires of the East for the +space of four thousand, for what I know." + +"And why not," replied Bindloose, "if they be changes for the better?" + +"But they are _not_ for the better," replied Mr. Touchwood, eagerly. "I +left your peasantry as poor as rats indeed, but honest and industrious, +enduring their lot in this world with firmness, and looking forward to +the next with hope--Now they are mere eye-servants--looking at their +watches, forsooth, every ten minutes, lest they should work for their +master half an instant after loosing-time--And then, instead of studying +the Bible on the work days, to kittle the clergymen with doubtful points +of controversy on the Sabbath, they glean all their theology from Tom +Paine and Voltaire." + +"Weel I wot the gentleman speaks truth," said Mrs. Dods. "I fand a +bundle of their bawbee blasphemies in my ain kitchen--But I trow I made +a clean house of the packman loon that brought them!--No content wi' +turning the tawpies' heads wi' ballants, and driving them daft wi' +ribands, to cheat them out of their precious souls, and gie them the +deevil's ware, that I suld say sae, in exchange for the siller that suld +support their puir father that's aff wark and bedridden!" + +"Father! madam," said the stranger; "they think no more of their father +than Regan or Goneril." + +"In gude troth, ye have skeel of our sect, sir," replied the dame; "they +are gomerils, every one of them--I tell them sae every hour of the day, +but catch them profiting by the doctrine." + +"And then the brutes are turned mercenary, madam," said Mr. Touchwood, +"I remember when a Scottishman would have scorned to touch a shilling +that he had not earned, and yet was as ready to help a stranger as an +Arab of the desert. And now, I did but drop my cane the other day as I +was riding--a fellow who was working at the hedge made three steps to +lift it--I thanked him, and my friend threw his hat on his head, and +'damned my thanks, if that were all'--Saint Giles could not have +excelled him." + +"Weel, weel," said the banker, "that may be a' as you say, sir, and nae +doubt wealth makes wit waver; but the country's wealthy, that cannot be +denied, and wealth, sir, ye ken"---- + +"I know wealth makes itself wings," answered the cynical stranger; "but +I am not quite sure we have it even now. You make a great show, indeed, +with building and cultivation; but stock is not capital, any more than +the fat of a corpulent man is health or strength." + +"Surely, Mr. Touchwood," said Bindloose, who felt his own account in the +modern improvements, "a set of landlords, living like lairds in good +earnest, and tenants with better housekeeping than the lairds used to +have, and facing Whitsunday and Martinmas as I would face my +breakfast--if these are not signs of wealth, I do not know where to seek +for them." + +"They are signs of folly, sir," replied Touchwood; "folly that is poor, +and renders itself poorer by desiring to be thought rich; and how they +come by the means they are so ostentatious of, you, who are a banker, +perhaps can tell me better than I can guess." + +"There is maybe an accommodation bill discounted now and then, Mr. +Touchwood; but men must have accommodation, or the world would stand +still--accommodation is the grease that makes the wheels go." + +"Ay, makes them go down hill to the devil," answered Touchwood. "I left +you bothered about one Ayr bank, but the whole country is an Air bank +now, I think--And who is to pay the piper?--But it's all one--I will see +little more of it--it is a perfect Babel, and would turn the head of a +man who has spent his life with people who love sitting better than +running, silence better than speaking, who never eat but when they are +hungry, never drink but when thirsty, never laugh without a jest, and +never speak but when they have something to say. But here, it is all +run, ride, and drive--froth, foam, and flippancy--no steadiness--no +character." + +"I'll lay the burden of my life," said Dame Dods, looking towards her +friend Bindloose, "that the gentleman has been at the new Spaw-waal +yonder!" + +"Spaw do you call it, madam?--If you mean the new establishment that has +been spawned down yonder at St. Ronan's, it is the very fountain-head of +folly and coxcombry--a Babel for noise, and a Vanity-fair for +nonsense--no well in your swamps tenanted by such a conceited colony of +clamorous frogs." + +"Sir, sir!" exclaimed Dame Dods, delighted with the unqualified sentence +passed upon her fashionable rivals, and eager to testify her respect for +the judicious stranger who had pronounced it,--"will you let me have the +pleasure of pouring you out a dish of tea?" And so saying, she took +bustling possession of the administration which had hitherto remained in +the hands of Mr. Bindloose himself. + +"I hope it is to your taste, sir," she continued, when the traveller +had accepted her courtesy with the grateful acknowledgment, which men +addicted to speak a great deal usually show to a willing auditor. + +"It is as good as we have any right to expect, ma'am," answered Mr. +Touchwood; "not quite like what I have drunk at Canton with old Fong +Qua--but the Celestial Empire does not send its best tea to Leadenhall +Street, nor does Leadenhall Street send its best to Marchthorn." + +"That may be very true, sir," replied the dame; "but I will venture to +say that Mr. Bindloose's tea is muckle better than you had at the +Spaw-waal yonder." + +"Tea, madam!--I saw none--Ash leaves and black-thorn leaves were brought +in in painted canisters, and handed about by powder-monkeys in livery, +and consumed by those who liked it, amidst the chattering of parrots and +the squalling of kittens. I longed for the days of the Spectator, when I +might have laid my penny on the bar, and retired without ceremony--But +no--this blessed decoction was circulated under the auspices of some +half-crazed blue-stocking or other, and we were saddled with all the +formality of an entertainment, for this miserable allowance of a +cockle-shell full of cat-lap per head." + +"Weel, sir," answered Dame Dods, "all I can say is, that if it had been +my luck to have served you at the Cleikum Inn, which our folk have kept +for these twa generations, I canna pretend to say ye should have had +such tea as ye have been used to in foreign parts where it grows, but +the best I had I wad have gi'en it to a gentleman of your appearance, +and I never charged mair than six-pence in all my time, and my father's +before me." + +"I wish I had known the Old Inn was still standing, madam," said the +traveller; "I should certainly have been your guest, and sent down for +the water every morning--the doctors insist I must use Cheltenham, or +some substitute, for the bile--though, d--n them, I believe it's only +to hide their own ignorance. And I thought this Spaw would have been the +least evil of the two; but I have been fairly overreached--one might as +well live in the inside of a bell. I think young St. Ronan's must be +mad, to have established such a Vanity-fair upon his father's old +property." + +"Do you ken this St. Ronan's that now is?" enquired the dame. + +"By report only," said Mr. Touchwood; "but I have heard of the family, +and I think I have read of them, too, in Scottish history. I am sorry to +understand they are lower in the world than they have been. This young +man does not seem to take the best way to mend matters, spending his +time among gamblers and black-legs." + +"I should be sorry if it were so," said honest Meg Dods, whose +hereditary respect for the family always kept her from joining in any +scandal affecting the character of the young Laird--"My forbears, sir, +have had kindness frae his; and although maybe he may have forgotten all +about it, it wad ill become me to say ony thing of him that should not +be said of his father's son." + +Mr. Bindloose had not the same motive for forbearance; he declaimed +against Mowbray as a thoughtless dissipater of his own fortune, and that +of others. "I have some reason to speak," he said, "having two of his +notes for L.100 each, which I discounted out of mere kindness and +respect for his ancient family, and which he thinks nae mair of +retiring, than he does of paying the national debt--And here has he been +raking every shop in Marchthorn, to fit out an entertainment for all the +fine folk at the Well yonder; and tradesfolk are obliged to take his +acceptances for their furnishings. But they may cash his bills that +will; I ken ane that will never advance a bawbee on ony paper that has +John Mowbray either on the back or front of it. He had mair need to be +paying the debts which he has made already, than making new anes, that +he may feed fules and flatterers." + +"I believe he is likely to lose his preparations, too," said Mr. +Touchwood, "for the entertainment has been put off, as I heard, in +consequence of Miss Mowbray's illness." + +"Ay, ay, puir thing!" said Dame Margaret Dods: "her health has been +unsettled for this mony a day." + +"Something wrong here, they tell me," said the traveller, pointing to +his own forehead significantly. + +"God only kens," replied Mrs. Dods; "but I rather suspect the heart than +the head--the puir thing is hurried here and there, and down to the +Waal, and up again, and nae society or quiet at hame; and a' thing +ganging this unthrifty gait--nae wonder she is no that weel settled." + +"Well," replied Touchwood, "she is worse they say than she has been, and +that has occasioned the party at Shaws-Castle having been put off. +Besides, now this fine young lord has come down to the Well, undoubtedly +they will wait her recovery." + +"A lord!" ejaculated the astonished Mrs. Dods; "a lord come down to the +Waal--they will be neither to haud nor to bind now--ance wud and aye +waur--a lord!--set them up and shute them forward--a lord!--the Lord +have a care o' us!--a lord at the hottle!--Maister Touchwood, it's my +mind he will only prove to be a Lord o' Session." + +"Nay, not so, my good lady," replied the traveller "he is an English +lord, and, as they say, a Lord of Parliament--but some folk pretend to +say there is a flaw in the title." + +"I'll warrant is there--a dozen of them!" said Meg, with alacrity--for +she could by no means endure to think on the accumulation of dignity +likely to accrue to the rival establishment, from its becoming the +residence of an actual nobleman. "I'll warrant he'll prove a landlouping +lord on their hand, and they will be e'en cheap o' the loss--And he has +come down out of order it's like, and nae doubt he'll no be lang there +before he will recover his health, for the credit of the Spaw." + +"Faith, madam, his present disorder is one which the Spaw will hardly +cure--he is shot in the shoulder with a pistol-bullet--a robbery +attempted, it seems--that is one of your new accomplishments--no such +thing happened in Scotland in my time--men would have sooner expected to +meet with the phoenix than with a highwayman." + +"And where did this happen, if you please, sir?" asked the man of bills. + +"Somewhere near the old village," replied the stranger; "and, if I am +rightly informed, on Wednesday last." + +"This explains your twa shots, I am thinking, Mrs. Dods," said Mr. +Bindloose; "your groom heard them on the Wednesday--it must have been +this attack on the stranger nobleman." + +"Maybe it was, and maybe it was not," said Mrs. Dods; "but I'll see gude +reason before I give up my ain judgment in that case.--I wad like to +ken if this gentleman," she added, returning to the subject from which +Mr. Touchwood's interesting conversation had for a few minutes diverted +her thoughts, "has heard aught of Mr. Tirl?" + +"If you mean the person to whom this paper relates," said the stranger, +taking a printed handbill from his pocket, "I heard of little else--the +whole place rang of him, till I was almost as sick of Tyrrel as William +Rufus was. Some idiotical quarrel which he had engaged in, and which he +had not fought out, as their wisdom thought he should have done, was the +principal cause of censure. That is another folly now, which has gained +ground among you. Formerly, two old proud lairds, or cadets of good +family, perhaps, quarrelled, and had a rencontre, or fought a duel after +the fashion of their old Gothic ancestors; but men who had no +grandfathers never dreamt of such folly--And here the folk denounce a +trumpery dauber of canvass, for such I understand to be this hero's +occupation, as if he were a field-officer, who made valour his +profession; and who, if you deprived him of his honour, was like to be +deprived of his bread at the same time.--Ha, ha, ha! it reminds one of +Don Quixote, who took his neighbour, Samson Carrasco, for a +knight-errant." + +The perusal of this paper, which contained the notes formerly laid +before the reader, containing the statement of Sir Bingo, and the +censure which the company at the Well had thought fit to pass upon his +affair with Mr. Tyrrel, induced Mr. Bindloose to say to Mrs. Dods, with +as little exultation on the superiority of his own judgment as human +nature would permit,-- + +"Ye see now that I was right, Mrs. Dods, and that there was nae earthly +use in your fashing yoursell wi' this lang journey--The lad had just +ta'en the bent rather than face Sir Bingo; and troth, I think him the +wiser of the twa for sae doing--There ye hae print for it." + +Meg answered somewhat sullenly, "Ye may be mista'en, for a' that, your +ainsell, for as wise as ye are, Mr. Bindloose; I shall hae that matter +mair strictly enquired into." + +This led to a renewal of the altercation concerning the probable fate of +Tyrrel, in the course of which the stranger was induced to take some +interest in the subject. + +At length Mrs. Dods, receiving no countenance from the experienced +lawyer for the hypothesis she had formed, rose, in something like +displeasure, to order her whiskey to be prepared. But hostess as she was +herself, when in her own dominions, she reckoned without her host in the +present instance; for the humpbacked postilion, as absolute in his +department as Mrs. Dods herself, declared that the cattle would not be +fit for the road these two hours yet. The good lady was therefore +obliged to wait his pleasure, bitterly lamenting all the while the loss +which a house of public entertainment was sure to sustain by the absence +of the landlord or landlady, and anticipating a long list of broken +dishes, miscalculated reckonings, unarranged chambers, and other +disasters, which she was to expect at her return. Mr. Bindloose, zealous +to recover the regard of his good friend and client, which he had in +some degree forfeited by contradicting her on a favourite subject, did +not choose to offer the unpleasing, though obvious topic of consolation, +that an unfrequented inn is little exposed to the accidents she +apprehended. On the contrary, he condoled with her very cordially, and +went so far as to hint, that if Mr. Touchwood had come to Marchthorn +with post-horses, as he supposed from his dress, she could have the +advantage of them to return with more despatch to St. Ronan's. + +"I am not sure," said Mr. Touchwood, suddenly, "but I may return there +myself. In that case I will be glad to set this good lady down, and to +stay a few days at her house if she will receive me.--I respect a woman +like you, ma'am, who pursue the occupation of your father--I have been +in countries, ma'am, where people have followed the same trade, from +father to son, for thousands of years--And I like the fashion--it shows +a steadiness and sobriety of character." + +Mrs. Dods put on a joyous countenance at this proposal, protesting that +all should be done in her power to make things agreeable; and while her +good friend, Mr. Bindloose, expatiated upon the comfort her new guest +would experience at the Cleikum, she silently contemplated with delight +the prospect of a speedy and dazzling triumph, by carrying off a +creditable customer from her showy and successful rival at the Well. + +"I shall be easily accommodated, ma'am," said the stranger; "I have +travelled too much and too far to be troublesome. A Spanish venta, a +Persian khan, or a Turkish caravanserail, is all the same to me--only, +as I have no servant--indeed, never can be plagued with one of these +idle loiterers,--I must beg you will send to the Well for a bottle of +the water on such mornings as I cannot walk there myself--I find it is +really of some service to me." + +Mrs. Dods readily promised compliance with this reasonable request; +graciously conceding, that there "could be nae ill in the water itsell, +but maybe some gude--it was only the New Inn, and the daft haverils that +they caa'd the Company, that she misliked. Folk had a jest that St. +Ronan dookit the Deevil in the Waal, which garr'd it taste aye since of +brimstane--but she dared to say that was a' papist nonsense, for she was +tell't by him that kend weel, and that was the minister himsell, that +St. Ronan was nane of your idolatrous Roman saunts, but a Chaldee," +(meaning probably a Culdee,) "whilk was doubtless a very different +story." + +Matters being thus arranged to the satisfaction of both parties, the +post-chaise was ordered, and speedily appeared at the door of Mr. +Bindloose's mansion. It was not without a private feeling of reluctance, +that honest Meg mounted the step of a vehicle, on the door of which was +painted, "FOX INN AND HOTEL, ST. RONAN'S WELL;" but it was too late to +start such scruples. + +"I never thought to have entered ane o' their hurley-hackets," she said, +as she seated herself; "and sic a like thing as it is--scarce room for +twa folk!--Weel I wot, Mr. Touchwood, when I was in the hiring line, our +twa chaises wad hae carried, ilk ane o' them, four grown folk and as +mony bairns. I trust that doited creature Anthony will come awa back wi' +my whiskey and the cattle, as soon as they have had their feed.--Are ye +sure ye hae room eneugh, sir?--I wad fain hotch mysell farther yont." + +"O, ma'am," answered the Oriental, "I am accustomed to all sorts of +conveyances--a dooly, a litter, a cart, a palanquin, or a post-chaise, +are all alike to me--I think I could be an inside with Queen Mab in a +nutshell, rather than not get forward.--Begging you many pardons, if you +have no particular objections, I will light my sheroot," &c. &c. &c. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-20] This was a peculiarity in the countenance of the celebrated Cossack +leader, Platoff. + +[I-21] An epithet which expresses, in Scotland, what the barometer calls +rainy. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +THE CLERGYMAN. + + A man he was to all the country dear, + And passing rich with forty pounds a-year. + +GOLDSMITH'S _Deserted Village_. + + +Mrs. Dods's conviction, that her friend Tyrrel had been murdered by the +sanguinary Captain MacTurk remained firm and unshaken; but some +researches for the supposed body having been found fruitless, as well as +expensive, she began to give up the matter in despair. "She had done her +duty"--"she left the matter to them that had a charge anent such +things"--and "Providence would bring the mystery to light in his own +fitting time"--such were the moralities with which the good dame +consoled herself; and, with less obstinacy than Mr. Bindloose had +expected, she retained her opinion without changing her banker and man +of business. + +Perhaps Meg's acquiescent inactivity in a matter which she had +threatened to probe so deeply, was partly owing to the place of poor +Tyrrel being supplied in her blue chamber, and in her daily thoughts and +cares, by her new guest, Mr. Touchwood; in possessing whom, a deserter +as he was from the Well, she obtained, according to her view of the +matter, a decided triumph over her rivals. It sometimes required, +however, the full force of this reflection, to induce Meg, old and +crabbed as she was, to submit to the various caprices and exactions of +attention which were displayed by her new lodger. Never any man talked +so much as Touchwood, of his habitual indifference to food, and +accommodation in travelling; and probably there never was any traveller +who gave more trouble in a house of entertainment. He had his own whims +about cookery; and when these were contradicted, especially if he felt +at the same time a twinge of incipient gout, one would have thought he +had taken his lessons in the pastry-shop of Bedreddin Hassan, and was +ready to renew the scene of the unhappy cream-tart, which was compounded +without pepper. Every now and then he started some new doctrine in +culinary matters, which Mrs. Dods deemed a heresy; and then the very +house rang with their disputes. Again, his bed must necessarily be made +at a certain angle from the pillow to the footposts; and the slightest +deviation from this disturbed, he said, his nocturnal rest, and did +certainly ruffle his temper. He was equally whimsical about the brushing +of his clothes, the arrangement of the furniture in his apartment, and a +thousand minutiae, which, in conversation, he seemed totally to contemn. + +It may seem singular, but such is the inconsistency of human nature, +that a guest of this fanciful and capricious disposition gave much more +satisfaction to Mrs. Dods, than her quiet and indifferent friend, Mr. +Tyrrel. If her present lodger could blame, he could also applaud; and no +artist, conscious of such skill as Mrs. Dods possessed, is indifferent +to the praises of such a connoisseur as Mr. Touchwood. The pride of art +comforted her for the additional labour; nor was it a matter unworthy +of this most honest publican's consideration, that the guests who give +most trouble, are usually those who incur the largest bills, and pay +them with the best grace. On this point Touchwood was a jewel of a +customer. He never denied himself the gratification of the slightest +whim, whatever expense he might himself incur, or whatever trouble he +might give to those about him; and all was done under protestation, that +the matter in question was the most indifferent thing to him in the +world. "What the devil did he care for Burgess's sauces, he that had eat +his kouscousou, spiced with nothing but the sand of the desert? only it +was a shame for Mrs. Dods to be without what every decent house, above +the rank of an alehouse, ought to be largely provided with." + +In short, he fussed, fretted, commanded, and was obeyed; kept the house +in hot water, and yet was so truly good-natured when essential matters +were in discussion, that it was impossible to bear him the least +ill-will; so that Mrs. Dods, though in a moment of spleen she sometimes +wished him at the top of Tintock,[I-F] always ended by singing forth his +praises. She could not, indeed, help suspecting that he was a Nabob, as +well from his conversation about foreign parts, as from his freaks of +indulgence to himself, and generosity to others,--attributes which she +understood to be proper to most "Men of Ind." But although the reader +has heard her testify a general dislike to this species of Fortune's +favourites, Mrs. Dods had sense enough to know, that a Nabob living in +the neighbourhood, who raises the price of eggs and poultry upon the +good housewives around, was very different from a Nabob residing within +her own gates, drawing all his supplies from her own larder, and +paying, without hesitation or question, whatever bills her conscience +permitted her to send in. In short, to come back to the point at which +we perhaps might have stopped some time since, landlady and guest were +very much pleased with each other. + +But Ennui finds entrance into every scene, when the gloss of novelty is +over; and the fiend began to seize upon Mr. Touchwood just when he had +got all matters to his mind in the Cleikum Inn--had instructed Dame Dods +in the mysteries of curry and mullegatawny--drilled the chambermaid into +the habit of making his bed at the angle recommended by Sir John +Sinclair--and made some progress in instructing the humpbacked postilion +in the Arabian mode of grooming. Pamphlets and newspapers, sent from +London and from Edinburgh by loads, proved inadequate to rout this +invader of Mr. Touchwood's comfort; and, at last, he bethought himself +of company. The natural resource would have been the Well--but the +traveller had a holy shivering of awe, which crossed him at the very +recollection of Lady Penelope, who had worked him rather hard during his +former brief residence; and although Lady Binks's beauty might have +charmed an Asiatic, by the plump graces of its contour, our senior was +past the thoughts of a Sultana and a haram. At length a bright idea +crossed his mind, and he suddenly demanded of Mrs. Dods, who was pouring +out his tea for breakfast, into a large cup of a very particular species +of china, of which he had presented her with a service on condition of +her rendering him this personal good office,--"Pray, Mrs. Dods, what +sort of a man is your minister?" + +"He's just a man like other men, Maister Touchwood," replied Meg; "what +sort of a man should he be?" + +"A man like other men?--ay--that is to say, he has the usual complement +of legs and arms, eyes and ears--But is he a sensible man?" + +"No muckle o' that, sir," answered Dame Dods; "for if he was drinking +this very tea that ye gat doun from London wi' the mail, he wad mistake +it for common bohea." + +"Then he has not all his organs--wants a nose, or the use of one at +least," said Mr. Touchwood; "the tea is right gunpowder--a perfect +nosegay." + +"Aweel, that may be," said the landlady; "but I have gi'en the minister +a dram frae my ain best bottle of real Coniac brandy, and may I never +stir frae the bit, if he didna commend my whisky when he set down the +glass! There is no ane o' them in the Presbytery but himsell--ay, or in +the Synod either--but wad hae kend whisky frae brandy." + +"But what _sort_ of man is he?--Has he learning?" demanded Touchwood. + +"Learning?--eneugh o' that," answered Meg; "just dung donnart wi' +learning--lets a' things about the Manse gang whilk gate they will, sae +they dinna plague him upon the score. An awfu' thing it is to see sic an +ill-red-up house!--If I had the twa tawpies that sorn upon the honest +man ae week under my drilling, I think I wad show them how to sort a +lodging!" + +"Does he preach well?" asked the guest. + +"Oh, weel eneugh, weel eneugh--sometimes he will fling in a lang word or +a bit of learning that our farmers and bannet lairds canna sae weel +follow--But what of that, as I am aye telling them?--them that pay +stipend get aye the mair for their siller." + +"Does he attend to his parish?--Is he kind to the poor?" + +"Ower muckle o' that, Maister Touchwood--I am sure he makes the Word +gude, and turns not away from those that ask o' him--his very pocket is +picked by a wheen ne'er-do-weel blackguards, that gae sorning through +the country." + +"Sorning through the country, Mrs. Dods?--what would you think if you +had seen the Fakirs, the Dervises, the Bonzes, the Imaums, the monks, +and the mendicants, that I have seen?--But go on, never mind--Does this +minister of yours come much into company?" + +"Company?--gae wa'," replied Meg, "he keeps nae company at a', neither +in his ain house or ony gate else. He comes down in the morning in a +lang ragged nightgown, like a potato bogle, and down he sits amang his +books; and if they dinna bring him something to eat, the puir demented +body has never the heart to cry for aught, and he has been kend to sit +for ten hours thegither, black fasting, whilk is a' mere papistrie, +though he does it just out o' forget." + +"Why, landlady, in that case, your parson is any thing but the ordinary +kind of man you described him--Forget his dinner!--the man must be +mad--he shall dine with me to-day--he shall have such a dinner as I'll +be bound he won't forget in a hurry." + +"Ye'll maybe find that easier said than dune," said Mrs. Dods; "the +honest man hasna, in a sense, the taste of his mouth--forby, he never +dines out of his ain house--that is, when he dines at a'--A drink of +milk and a bit of bread serves his turn, or maybe a cauld potato.--It's +a heathenish fashion of him, for as good a man as he is, for surely +there is nae Christian man but loves his own bowels." + +"Why, that may be," answered Touchwood; "but I have known many who took +so much care of their own bowels, my good dame, as to have none for any +one else.--But come--bustle to the work--get us as good a dinner for two +as you can set out--have it ready at three to an instant--get the old +hock I had sent me from Cockburn--a bottle of the particular Indian +Sherry--and another of your own old claret--fourth bin, you know, +Meg.--And stay, he is a priest, and must have port--have all ready, but +don't bring the wine into the sun, as that silly fool Beck did the other +day.--I can't go down to the larder myself, but let us have no +blunders." + +"Nae fear, nae fear," said Meg, with a toss of the head, "I need naebody +to look into my larder but mysell, I trow--but it's an unco order of +wine for twa folk, and ane o' them a minister." + +"Why, you foolish person, is there not the woman up the village that has +just brought another fool into the world, and will she not need sack and +caudle, if we leave some of our wine?" + +"A gude ale-posset wad set her better," said Meg; "however, if it's your +will, it shall be my pleasure.--But the like of sic a gentleman as +yoursell never entered my doors!" + +The traveller was gone before she had completed the sentence; and, +leaving Meg to bustle and maunder at her leisure, away he marched, with +the haste that characterised all his motions when he had any new project +in his head, to form an acquaintance with the minister of St. Ronan's, +whom, while he walks down the street to the Manse, we will endeavour to +introduce to the reader. + +The Rev. Josiah Cargill was the son of a small farmer in the south of +Scotland; and a weak constitution, joined to the disposition for study +which frequently accompanies infirm health, induced his parents, though +at the expense of some sacrifices, to educate him for the ministry. They +were the rather led to submit to the privations which were necessary to +support this expense, because they conceived, from their family +traditions, that he had in his veins some portion of the blood of that +celebrated Boanerges of the Covenant, Donald Cargill,[I-G] who was slain +by the persecutors at the town of Queensferry, in the melancholy days of +Charles II., merely because, in the plenitude of his sacerdotal power, +he had cast out of the church, and delivered over to Satan by a formal +excommunication, the King and Royal Family, with all the ministers and +courtiers thereunto belonging. But if Josiah was really derived from +this uncompromising champion, the heat of the family spirit which he +might have inherited was qualified by the sweetness of his own +disposition, and the quiet temper of the times in which he had the good +fortune to live. He was characterised by all who knew him as a mild, +gentle, and studious lover of learning, who, in the quiet prosecution of +his own sole object, the acquisition of knowledge, and especially of +that connected with his profession, had the utmost indulgence for all +whose pursuits were different from his own. His sole relaxations were +those of a retiring, mild, and pensive temper, and were limited to a +ramble, almost always solitary, among the woods and hills, in praise of +which, he was sometimes guilty of a sonnet, but rather because he could +not help the attempt, than as proposing to himself the fame or the +rewards which attend the successful poet. Indeed, far from seeking to +insinuate his fugitive pieces into magazines and newspapers, he blushed +at his poetical attempts even while alone, and, in fact, was rarely so +indulgent to his vein as to commit them to paper. + +From the same maid-like modesty of disposition, our student suppressed a +strong natural turn towards drawing, although he was repeatedly +complimented upon the few sketches which he made, by some whose judgment +was generally admitted. It was, however, this neglected talent, which, +like the swift feet of the stag in the fable, was fated to render him a +service which he might in vain have expected from his worth and +learning. + +My Lord Bidmore, a distinguished connoisseur, chanced to be in search of +a private tutor for his son and heir, the Honourable Augustus Bidmore, +and for this purpose had consulted the Professor of Theology, who passed +before him in review several favourite students, any of whom he +conceived well suited for the situation; but still his answer to the +important and unlooked-for question, "Did the candidate understand +drawing?" was answered in the negative. The Professor, indeed, added his +opinion, that such an accomplishment was neither to be desired nor +expected in a student of theology; but, pressed hard with this condition +as a _sine qua non_, he at length did remember a dreaming lad about the +Hall, who seldom could be got to speak above his breath, even when +delivering his essays, but was said to have a strong turn for drawing. +This was enough for my Lord Bidmore, who contrived to obtain a sight of +some of young Cargill's sketches, and was satisfied that, under such a +tutor, his son could not fail to maintain that character for hereditary +taste which his father and grandfather had acquired at the expense of a +considerable estate, the representative value of which was now the +painted canvass in the great gallery at Bidmore-House. + +Upon following up the enquiry concerning the young man's character, he +was found to possess all the other necessary qualifications of learning +and morals, in a greater degree than perhaps Lord Bidmore might have +required; and, to the astonishment of his fellow-students, but more +especially to his own, Josiah Cargill was promoted to the desired and +desirable situation of private tutor to the Honourable Mr. Bidmore. + +Mr. Cargill did his duty ably and conscientiously, by a spoiled though +good-humoured lad, of weak health and very ordinary parts. He could not, +indeed, inspire into him any portion of the deep and noble enthusiasm +which characterises the youth of genius; but his pupil made such +progress in each branch of his studies as his capacity enabled him to +attain. He understood the learned languages, and could be very profound +on the subject of various readings--he pursued science, and could class +shells, pack mosses, and arrange minerals--he drew without taste, but +with much accuracy; and although he attained no commanding height in any +pursuit, he knew enough of many studies, literary and scientific, to +fill up his time, and divert from temptation a head, which was none of +the strongest in point of resistance. + +Miss Augusta Bidmore, his lordship's only other child, received also the +instructions of Cargill in such branches of science as her father chose +she should acquire, and her tutor was capable to teach. But her progress +was as different from that of her brother, as the fire of heaven differs +from that grosser element which the peasant piles upon his smouldering +hearth. Her acquirements in Italian and Spanish literature, in history, +in drawing, and in all elegant learning, were such as to enchant her +teacher, while at the same time it kept him on the stretch, lest, in her +successful career, the scholar should outstrip the master. + +Alas! such intercourse, fraught as it is with dangers arising out of the +best and kindest, as well as the most natural feelings on either side, +proved in the present, as in many other instances, fatal to the peace of +the preceptor. Every feeling heart will excuse a weakness, which we +shall presently find carried with it its own severe punishment. Cadenus, +indeed, believe him who will, has assured us, that, in such a perilous +intercourse, he himself preserved the limits which were unhappily +transgressed by the unfortunate Vanessa, his more impassioned pupil:-- + + "The innocent delight he took + To see the virgin mind her book, + Was but the master's secret joy, + In school to hear the finest boy." + +But Josiah Cargill was less fortunate, or less cautious. He suffered his +fair pupil to become inexpressibly dear to him, before he discovered the +precipice towards which he was moving under the direction of a blind and +misplaced passion. He was indeed utterly incapable of availing himself +of the opportunities afforded by his situation, to involve his pupil in +the toils of a mutual passion. Honour and gratitude alike forbade such a +line of conduct, even had it been consistent with the natural +bashfulness, simplicity, and innocence of his disposition. To sigh and +suffer in secret, to form resolutions of separating himself from a +situation so fraught with danger, and to postpone from day to day the +accomplishment of a resolution so prudent, was all to which the tutor +found himself equal; and it is not improbable, that the veneration with +which he regarded his patron's daughter, with the utter hopelessness of +the passion which he nourished, tended to render his love yet more pure +and disinterested. + +At length, the line of conduct which reason had long since recommended, +could no longer be the subject of procrastination. Mr. Bidmore was +destined to foreign travel for a twelvemonth, and Mr. Cargill received +from his patron the alternative of accompanying his pupil, or retiring +upon a suitable provision, the reward of his past instructions. It can +hardly be doubted which he preferred; for while he was with young +Bidmore, he did not seem entirely separated from his sister. He was sure +to hear of Augusta frequently, and to see some part, at least, of the +letters which she was to write to her brother; he might also hope to be +remembered in these letters as her "good friend and tutor;" and to these +consolations his quiet, contemplative, and yet enthusiastic disposition, +clung as to a secret source of pleasure, the only one which life seemed +to open to him. + +But fate had a blow in store, which he had not anticipated. The chance +of Augusta's changing her maiden condition for that of a wife, probable +as her rank, beauty, and fortune rendered such an event, had never once +occurred to him; and although he had imposed upon himself the unwavering +belief that she could never be his, he was inexpressibly affected by the +intelligence that she had become the property of another. + +The Honourable Mr. Bidmore's letters to his father soon after announced +that poor Mr. Cargill had been seized with a nervous fever, and again, +that his reconvalescence was attended with so much debility, it seemed +both of mind and body, as entirely to destroy his utility as a +travelling companion. Shortly after this the travellers separated, and +Cargill returned to his native country alone, indulging upon the road in +a melancholy abstraction of mind, which he had suffered to grow upon him +since the mental shock which he had sustained, and which in time became +the most characteristical feature of his demeanour. His meditations were +not even disturbed by any anxiety about his future subsistence, although +the cessation of his employment seemed to render that precarious. For +this, however, Lord Bidmore had made provision; for, though a coxcomb +where the fine arts were concerned, he was in other particulars a just +and honourable man, who felt a sincere pride in having drawn the talents +of Cargill from obscurity, and entertained due gratitude for the manner +in which he had achieved the important task intrusted to him in his +family. + +His lordship had privately purchased from the Mowbray family the +patronage or advowson of the living of St. Ronan's, then held by a very +old incumbent, who died shortly afterwards; so that upon arriving in +England Cargill found himself named to the vacant living. So +indifferent, however, did he feel himself towards this preferment, that +he might possibly not have taken the trouble to go through the necessary +steps previous to his ordination, had it not been on account of his +mother, now a widow, and unprovided for, unless by the support which he +afforded her. He visited her in her small retreat in the suburbs of +Marchthorn, heard her pour out her gratitude to Heaven, that she should +have been granted life long enough to witness her son's promotion to a +charge, which in her eyes was more honourable and desirable than an +Episcopal see--heard her chalk out the life which they were to lead +together in the humble independence which had thus fallen on him--he +heard all this, and had no power to crush her hopes and her triumph by +the indulgence of his own romantic feelings. He passed almost +mechanically through the usual forms, and was inducted into the living +of St. Ronan's. + +Although fanciful and romantic, it was not in Josiah Cargill's nature to +yield to unavailing melancholy; yet he sought relief, not in society, +but in solitary study. His seclusion was the more complete, that his +mother, whose education had been as much confined as her fortunes, felt +awkward under her new dignities, and willingly acquiesced in her son's +secession from society, and spent her whole time in superintending the +little household, and in her way providing for all emergencies, the +occurrence of which might call Josiah out of his favourite book-room. As +old age rendered her inactive, she began to regret the incapacity of her +son to superintend his own household, and talked something of matrimony, +and the mysteries of the muckle wheel. To these admonitions Mr. Cargill +returned only slight and evasive answers; and when the old lady slept in +the village churchyard, at a reverend old age, there was no one to +perform the office of superintendent in the minister's family. Neither +did Josiah Cargill seek for any, but patiently submitted to all the +evils with which a bachelor estate is attended, and which were at least +equal to those which beset the renowned Mago-Pico during his state of +celibacy.[I-22] His butter was ill churned, and declared by all but +himself and the quean who made it, altogether uneatable; his milk was +burnt in the pan, his fruit and vegetables were stolen, and his black +stockings mended with blue and white thread. + +For all these things the minister cared not, his mind ever bent upon far +different matters. Do not let my fair readers do Josiah more than +justice, or suppose that, like Beltenebros in the desert, he remained +for years the victim of an unfortunate and misplaced passion. No--to the +shame of the male sex be it spoken, that no degree of hopeless love, +however desperate and sincere, can ever continue for years to embitter +life. There must be hope--there must be uncertainty--there must be +reciprocity, to enable the tyrant of the soul to secure a dominion of +very long duration over a manly and well-constituted mind, which is +itself desirous to _will_ its freedom. The memory of Augusta had long +faded from Josiah's thoughts, or was remembered only as a pleasing, but +melancholy and unsubstantial dream, while he was straining forward in +pursuit of a yet nobler and coyer mistress, in a word, of Knowledge +herself. + +Every hour that he could spare from his parochial duties, which he +discharged with zeal honourable to his heart and head, was devoted to +his studies, and spent among his books. But this chase of wisdom, though +in itself interesting and dignified, was indulged to an excess which +diminished the respectability, nay, the utility, of the deceived +student; and he forgot, amid the luxury of deep and dark investigations, +that society has its claims, and that the knowledge which is unimparted, +is necessarily a barren talent, and is lost to society, like the miser's +concealed hoard, by the death of the proprietor. His studies were also +under the additional disadvantage, that, being pursued for the +gratification of a desultory longing after knowledge, and directed to no +determined object, they turned on points rather curious than useful, and +while they served for the amusement of the student himself, promised +little utility to mankind at large. + +Bewildered amid abstruse researches, metaphysical and historical, Mr. +Cargill, living only for himself and his books, acquired many ludicrous +habits, which exposed the secluded student to the ridicule of the world, +and which tinged, though they did not altogether obscure, the natural +civility of an amiable disposition, as well as the acquired habits of +politeness which he had learned in the good society that frequented Lord +Bidmore's mansion. He not only indulged in neglect of dress and +appearance, and all those ungainly tricks which men are apt to acquire +by living very much alone, but besides, and especially, he became +probably the most abstracted and absent man of a profession peculiarly +liable to cherish such habits. No man fell so regularly into the painful +dilemma of mistaking, or, in Scottish phrase, _miskenning_, the person +he spoke to, or more frequently enquired of an old maid for her +husband, of a childless wife about her young people, of the distressed +widower for the spouse at whose funeral he himself had assisted but a +fortnight before; and none was ever more familiar with strangers whom he +had never seen, or seemed more estranged from those who had a title to +think themselves well known to him. The worthy man perpetually +confounded sex, age, and calling; and when a blind beggar extended his +hand for charity, he has been known to return the civility by taking off +his hat, making a low bow, and hoping his worship was well. + +Among his brethren, Mr. Cargill alternately commanded respect by the +depth of his erudition, and gave occasion to laughter from his odd +peculiarities. On the latter occasions he used abruptly to withdraw from +the ridicule he had provoked; for notwithstanding the general mildness +of his character, his solitary habits had engendered a testy impatience +of contradiction, and a keener sense of pain arising from the satire of +others, than was natural to his unassuming disposition. As for his +parishioners, they enjoyed, as may reasonably be supposed, many a hearty +laugh at their pastor's expense, and were sometimes, as Mrs. Dods +hinted, more astonished than edified by his learning; for in pursuing a +point of biblical criticism, he did not altogether remember that he was +addressing a popular and unlearned assembly, not delivering a _concio ad +clerum_--a mistake, not arising from any conceit of his learning, or +wish to display it, but from the same absence of mind which induced an +excellent divine, when preaching before a party of criminals condemned +to death, to break off by promising the wretches, who were to suffer +next morning, "the rest of the discourse at the first proper +opportunity." But all the neighbourhood acknowledged Mr. Cargill's +serious and devout discharge of his ministerial duties; and the poorer +parishioners forgave his innocent peculiarities, in consideration of his +unbounded charity; while the heritors, if they ridiculed the +abstractions of Mr. Cargill on some subjects, had the grace to recollect +that they had prevented him from suing an augmentation of stipend, +according to the fashion of the clergy around him, or from demanding at +their hands a new manse, or the repair of the old one. He once, indeed, +wished that they would amend the roof of his book-room, which "rained +in"[I-23] in a very pluvious manner; but receiving no direct answer from +our friend Meiklewham, who neither relished the proposal nor saw means +of eluding it, the minister quietly made the necessary repairs at his +own expense, and gave the heritors no farther trouble on the subject. + +Such was the worthy divine whom our _bon vivant_ at the Cleikum Inn +hoped to conciliate by a good dinner and Cockburn's particular; an +excellent menstruum in most cases, but not likely to be very efficacious +on the present occasion. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[I-22] Note III.--Mago-Pico. + +[I-23] _Scottice_, for "admitted the rain." + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +THE ACQUAINTANCE. + + 'Twixt us thus the difference trims:-- + Using head instead of limbs, + You have read what I have seen; + Using limbs instead of head, + I have seen what you have read-- + Which way does the balance lean? + +BUTLER. + + +Our traveller, rapid in all his resolutions and motions, strode stoutly +down the street, and arrived at the Manse, which was, as we have already +described it, all but absolutely ruinous. The total desolation and want +of order about the door, would have argued the place uninhabited, had it +not been for two or three miserable tubs with suds, or such like +sluttish contents, which were left there, that those who broke their +shins among them might receive a sensible proof, that "here the hand of +woman had been." The door being half off its hinges, the entrance was +for the time protected by a broken harrow, which must necessarily be +removed before entry could be obtained. The little garden, which might +have given an air of comfort to the old house had it been kept in any +order, was abandoned to a desolation, of which that of the sluggard was +only a type; and the minister's man, an attendant always proverbial for +doing half work, and who seemed in the present instance to do none, was +seen among docks and nettles, solacing himself with the few gooseberries +which remained on some moss-grown bushes. To him Mr. Touchwood called +loudly, enquiring after his master; but the clown, conscious of being +taken in flagrant delict, as the law says, fled from him like a guilty +thing, instead of obeying his summons, and was soon heard _hupping_ and +_geeing_ to the cart, which he had left on the other side of the broken +wall. + +Disappointed in his application to the man-servant, Mr. Touchwood +knocked with his cane, at first gently, then harder, holloaed, bellowed, +and shouted, in the hope of calling the attention of some one within +doors, but received not a word in reply. At length, thinking that no +trespass could be committed upon so forlorn and deserted an +establishment, he removed the obstacles to entrance with such a noise as +he thought must necessarily have alarmed some one, if there was any live +person about the house at all. All was still silent; and, entering a +passage where the damp walls and broken flags corresponded to the +appearance of things out of doors, he opened a door to the left, which, +wonderful to say, still had a latch remaining, and found himself in the +parlour, and in the presence of the person whom he came to visit. + +Amid a heap of books and other literary lumber, which had accumulated +around him, sat, in his well-worn leathern elbow chair, the learned +minister of St. Ronan's; a thin, spare man, beyond the middle age, of a +dark complexion, but with eyes which, though now obscured and vacant, +had been once bright, soft, and expressive, and whose features seemed +interesting, the rather that, notwithstanding the carelessness of his +dress, he was in the habit of performing his ablutions with Eastern +precision; for he had forgot neatness, but not cleanliness. His hair +might have appeared much more disorderly, had it not been thinned by +time, and disposed chiefly around the sides of his countenance and the +back part of his head; black stockings, ungartered, marked his +professional dress, and his feet were thrust into the old slipshod +shoes, which served him instead of slippers. The rest of his garments, +as far as visible, consisted in a plaid nightgown wrapt in long folds +round his stooping and emaciated length of body, and reaching down to +the slippers aforesaid. He was so intently engaged in studying the book +before him, a folio of no ordinary bulk, that he totally disregarded the +noise which Mr. Touchwood made in entering the room, as well as the +coughs and hems with which he thought it proper to announce his +presence. + +No notice being taken of these inarticulate signals, Mr. Touchwood, +however great an enemy he was to ceremony, saw the necessity of +introducing his business, as an apology for his intrusion. + +"Hem! sir--Ha, hem!--You see before you a person in some distress for +want of society, who has taken the liberty to call on you as a good +pastor, who may be, in Christian charity, willing to afford him a little +of your company, since he is tired of his own." + +Of this speech Mr. Cargill only understood the words "distress" and +"charity," sounds with which he was well acquainted, and which never +failed to produce some effect on him. He looked at his visitor with +lack-lustre eye, and, without correcting the first opinion which he had +formed, although the stranger's plump and sturdy frame, as well as his +nicely-brushed coat, glancing cane, and, above all, his upright and +self-satisfied manner, resembled in no respect the dress, form, or +bearing of a mendicant, he quietly thrust a shilling into his hand, and +relapsed into the studious contemplation which the entrance of Touchwood +had interrupted. + +"Upon my word, my good sir," said his visitor, surprised at a degree of +absence of mind which he could hardly have conceived possible, "you have +entirely mistaken my object." + +"I am sorry my mite is insufficient, my friend," said the clergyman, +without again raising his eyes, "it is all I have at present to bestow." + +"If you will have the kindness to look up for a moment, my good sir," +said the traveller, "you may possibly perceive that you labour under a +considerable mistake." + +Mr. Cargill raised his head, recalled his attention, and, seeing that he +had a well-dressed, respectable-looking person before him, he exclaimed +in much confusion, "Ha!--yes--on my word, I was so immersed in my +book--I believe--I think I have the pleasure to see my worthy friend, +Mr. Lavender?" + +"No such thing, Mr. Cargill," replied Mr Touchwood. "I will save you the +trouble of trying to recollect me--you never saw me before.--But do not +let me disturb your studies--I am in no hurry, and my business can wait +your leisure." + +"I am much obliged," said Mr. Cargill; "have the goodness to take a +chair, if you can find one--I have a train of thought to recover--a +slight calculation to finish--and then I am at your command." + +The visitor found among the broken furniture, not without difficulty, a +seat strong enough to support his weight, and sat down, resting upon +his cane, and looking attentively at his host, who very soon became +totally insensible of his presence. A long pause of total silence +ensued, only disturbed by the rustling leaves of the folio from which +Mr. Cargill seemed to be making extracts, and now and then by a little +exclamation of surprise and impatience, when he dipped his pen, as +happened once or twice, into his snuff-box, instead of the inkstandish +which stood beside it. At length, just as Mr. Touchwood began to think +the scene as tedious as it was singular, the abstracted student raised +his head, and spoke as if in soliloquy, "From Acon, Accor, or St. John +d'Acre, to Jerusalem, how far?" + +"Twenty-three miles north north-west," answered his visitor, without +hesitation. + +Mr. Cargill expressed no more surprise at a question which he had put to +himself being answered by the voice of another, than if he had found the +distance on the map, and indeed, was not probably aware of the medium +through which his question had been solved; and it was the tenor of the +answer alone which he attended to in his reply.--"Twenty-three +miles--Ingulphus," laying his hand on the volume, "and Jeffrey Winesauf, +do not agree in this." + +"They may both be d----d, then, for lying block-heads," answered the +traveller. + +"You might have contradicted their authority, sir, without using such an +expression," said the divine, gravely. + +"I cry you mercy, Doctor," said Mr. Touchwood; "but would you compare +these parchment fellows with me, that have made my legs my compasses +over great part of the inhabited world?" + +"You have been in Palestine, then?" said Mr. Cargill, drawing himself +upright in his chair, and speaking with eagerness and with interest. + +"You may swear that, Doctor, and at Acre too. Why, I was there the month +after Boney had found it too hard a nut to crack.--I dined with Sir +Sydney's chum, old Djezzar Pacha, and an excellent dinner we had, but +for a dessert of noses and ears brought on after the last remove, which +spoiled my digestion. Old Djezzar thought it so good a joke, that you +hardly saw a man in Acre whose face was not as flat as the palm of my +hand--Gad, I respect my olfactory organ, and set off the next morning as +fast as the most cursed hard-trotting dromedary that ever fell to poor +pilgrim's lot could contrive to tramp." + +"If you have really been in the Holy Land, sir," said Mr. Cargill, whom +the reckless gaiety of Touchwood's manner rendered somewhat suspicious +of a trick, "you will be able materially to enlighten me on the subject +of the Crusades." + +"They happened before my time, Doctor," replied the traveller. + +"You are to understand that my curiosity refers to the geography of the +countries where these events took place," answered Mr. Cargill. + +"O! as to that matter, you are lighted on your feet," said Mr. +Touchwood; "for the time present I can fit you. Turk, Arab, Copt, and +Druse, I know every one of them, and can make you as well acquainted +with them as myself. Without stirring a step beyond your threshold, you +shall know Syria as well as I do.--But one good turn deserves +another--in that case, you must have the goodness to dine with me." + +"I go seldom abroad, sir," said the minister, with a good deal of +hesitation, for his habits of solitude and seclusion could not be +entirely overcome, even by the expectation raised by the traveller's +discourse; "yet I cannot deny myself the pleasure of waiting on a +gentleman possessed of so much experience." + +"Well then," said Mr. Touchwood, "three be the hour--I never dine later, +and always to a minute--and the place, the Cleikum Inn, up the way; +where Mrs. Dods is at this moment busy in making ready such a dinner as +your learning has seldom seen, Doctor, for I brought the receipts from +the four different quarters of the globe." + +Upon this treaty they parted; and Mr. Cargill, after musing for a short +while upon the singular chance which had sent a living man to answer +those doubts for which he was in vain consulting ancient authorities, at +length resumed, by degrees, the train of reflection and investigation +which Mr. Touchwood's visit had interrupted, and in a short time lost +all recollection of his episodical visitor, and of the engagement which +he had formed. + +Not so Mr. Touchwood, who, when not occupied with business of real +importance, had the art, as the reader may have observed, to make a +prodigious fuss about nothing at all. Upon the present occasion, he +bustled in and out of the kitchen, till Mrs. Dods lost patience, and +threatened to pin the dish-clout to his tail; a menace which he +pardoned, in consideration, that in all the countries which he had +visited, which are sufficiently civilized to boast of cooks, these +artists, toiling in their fiery element, have a privilege to be testy +and impatient. He therefore retreated from the torrid region of Mrs. +Dods's microcosm, and employed his time in the usual devices of +loiterers, partly by walking for an appetite, partly by observing the +progress of his watch towards three o'clock, when he had happily +succeeded in getting an employment more serious. His table, in the blue +parlour, was displayed with two covers, after the fairest fashion of the +Cleikum Inn; yet the landlady, with a look "civil but sly," contrived to +insinuate a doubt whether the clergyman would come, "when a' was dune." + +Mr. Touchwood scorned to listen to such an insinuation until the fated +hour arrived, and brought with it no Mr. Cargill. The impatient +entertainer allowed five minutes for difference of clocks, and variation +of time, and other five for the procrastination of one who went little +into society. But no sooner were the last five minutes expended, than he +darted off for the Manse, not, indeed, much like a greyhound or a deer, +but with the momentum of a corpulent and well-appetized elderly +gentleman, who is in haste to secure his dinner. He bounced without +ceremony into the parlour, where he found the worthy divine clothed in +the same plaid nightgown, and seated in the very elbow-chair, in which +he had left him five hours before. His sudden entrance recalled to Mr. +Cargill, not an accurate, but something of a general, recollection, of +what had passed in the morning, and he hastened to apologize with +"Ha!--indeed--already?--upon my word, Mr. A--a--, I mean my dear +friend--I am afraid I have used you ill--I forgot to order any +dinner--but we will do our best.--Eppie--Eppie!" + +Not at the first, second, nor third call, but _ex intervallo_, as the +lawyers express it, Eppie, a bare-legged, shock-headed, thick-ankled, +red-armed wench, entered, and announced her presence by an emphatic +"What's your wull?" + +"Have you got any thing in the house for dinner, Eppie?" + +"Naething but bread and milk, plenty o't--what should I have?" + +"You see, sir," said Mr. Cargill, "you are like to have a Pythagorean +entertainment; but you are a traveller, and have doubtless been in your +time thankful for bread and milk." + +"But never when there was any thing better to be had," said Mr. +Touchwood. "Come, Doctor, I beg your pardon, but your wits are fairly +gone a wool-gathering; it was _I_ invited _you_ to dinner, up at the inn +yonder, and not you me." + +"On my word, and so it was," said Mr. Cargill; "I knew I was quite +right--I knew there was a dinner engagement betwixt us, I was sure of +that, and that is the main point.--Come, sir, I wait upon you." + +"Will you not first change your dress?" said the visitor, seeing with +astonishment that the divine proposed to attend him in his plaid +nightgown; "why, we shall have all the boys in the village after us--you +will look like an owl in sunshine, and they will flock round you like so +many hedge-sparrows." + +"I will get my clothes instantly," said the worthy clergyman; "I will +get ready directly--I am really ashamed to keep you waiting, my dear +Mr.--eh--eh--your name has this instant escaped me." + +"It is Touchwood, sir, at your service; I do not believe you ever heard +it before," answered the traveller. + +"True--right--no more I have--well, my good Mr. Touchstone, will you sit +down an instant until we see what we can do?--strange slaves we make +ourselves to these bodies of ours, Mr. Touchstone--the clothing and the +sustaining of them costs us much thought and leisure, which might be +better employed in catering for the wants of our immortal spirits." + +Mr. Touchwood thought in his heart that never had Bramin or Gymnosophist +less reason to reproach himself with excess in the indulgence of the +table, or of the toilet, than the sage before him; but he assented to +the doctrine, as he would have done to any minor heresy, rather than +protract matters by farther discussing the point at present. In a short +time the minister was dressed in his Sunday's suit, without any farther +mistake than turning one of his black stockings inside out; and Mr. +Touchwood, happy as was Boswell when he carried off Dr. Johnson in +triumph to dine with Strahan and John Wilkes, had the pleasure of +escorting him to the Cleikum Inn. + +In the course of the afternoon they became more familiar, and the +familiarity led to their forming a considerable estimate of each other's +powers and acquirements. It is true, the traveller thought the student +too pedantic, too much attached to systems, which, formed in solitude, +he was unwilling to renounce, even when contradicted by the voice and +testimony of experience; and, moreover, considered his utter inattention +to the quality of what he eat and drank, as unworthy of a rational, that +is, of a cooking creature, or of a being who, as defined by Johnson, +holds his dinner as the most important business of the day. Cargill did +not act up to this definition, and was, therefore, in the eyes of his +new acquaintance, so far ignorant and uncivilized. What then? He was +still a sensible, intelligent man, however abstemious and bookish. + +On the other hand, the divine could not help regarding his new friend as +something of an epicure or belly-god, nor could he observe in him either +the perfect education, or the polished bearing, which mark the gentleman +of rank, and of which, while he mingled with the world, he had become a +competent judge. Neither did it escape him, that in the catalogue of Mr. +Touchwood's defects, occurred that of many travellers, a slight +disposition to exaggerate his own personal adventures, and to prose +concerning his own exploits. But then, his acquaintance with Eastern +manners, existing now in the same state in which they were found during +the time of the Crusades, formed a living commentary on the works of +William of Tyre, Raymund of Saint Giles, the Moslem annals of +Abulfaragi, and other historians of the dark period, with which his +studies were at present occupied. + +A friendship, a companionship at least, was therefore struck up hastily +betwixt these two originals; and to the astonishment of the whole parish +of St. Ronan's, the minister thereof was seen once more leagued and +united with an individual of his species, generally called among them +the Cleikum Nabob. Their intercourse sometimes consisted in long walks, +which they took in company, traversing, however, as limited a space of +ground, as if it had been actually roped in for their pedestrian +exercise. Their parade was, according to circumstances, a low haugh at +the nether end of the ruinous hamlet, or the esplanade in the front of +the old castle; and, in either case, the direct longitude of their +promenade never exceeded a hundred yards. Sometimes, but rarely, the +divine took share of Mr. Touchwood's meal, though less splendidly set +forth than when he was first invited to partake of it; for, like the +owner of the gold cup in Parnell's Hermit, when cured of his +ostentation, + + ----"Still he welcomed, but with less of cost." + +On these occasions, the conversation was not of the regular and +compacted nature, which passes betwixt men, as they are ordinarily +termed, of this world. On the contrary, the one party was often thinking +of Saladin and Coeur de Lion, when the other was haranguing on Hyder +Ali and Sir Eyre Coote. Still, however, the one spoke, and the other +seemed to listen; and, perhaps, the lighter intercourse of society, +where amusement is the sole object, can scarcely rest on a safer and +more secure basis. + +It was on one of the evenings when the learned divine had taken his +place at Mr. Touchwood's social board, or rather at Mrs. Dods's,--for a +cup of excellent tea, the only luxury which Mr. Cargill continued to +partake of with some complacence, was the regale before them,--that a +card was delivered to the Nabob. + + "Mr. and Miss Mowbray see company at Shaws-Castle on the twentieth + current, at two o'clock--a _dejeuner_--dresses in character + admitted--A dramatic picture." + +"See company? the more fools they," he continued by way of comment. "See +company?--choice phrases are ever commendable--and this piece of +pasteboard is to intimate that one may go and meet all the fools of the +parish, if they have a mind--in my time they asked the honour, or the +pleasure, of a stranger's company. I suppose, by and by, we shall have +in this country the ceremonial of a Bedouin's tent, where every ragged +Hadgi, with his green turban, comes in slap without leave asked, and has +his black paw among the rice, with no other apology than Salam +Alicum.--'Dresses in character--Dramatic picture'--what new tomfoolery +can that be?--but it does not signify.--Doctor! I say Doctor!--but he is +in the seventh heaven--I say, Mother Dods, you who know all the news--Is +this the feast that was put off until Miss Mowbray should be better?" + +"Troth is it, Maister Touchwood--they are no in the way of giving twa +entertainments in one season--no very wise to gie ane maybe--but they +ken best." + +"I say, Doctor, Doctor!--Bless his five wits, he is charging the +Moslemah with stout King Richard--I say, Doctor, do you know any thing +of these Mowbrays?" + +"Nothing extremely particular," answered Mr. Cargill, after a pause; "it +is an ordinary tale of greatness, which blazes in one century, and is +extinguished in the next. I think Camden says, that Thomas Mowbray, who +was Grand-Marshal of England, succeeded to that high office, as well as +to the Dukedom of Norfolk, as grandson of Roger Bigot, in 1301." + +"Pshaw, man, you are back into the 14th century--I mean these Mowbrays +of St. Ronan's--now, don't fall asleep again until you have answered my +question--and don't look so like a startled hare--I am speaking no +treason." + +The clergyman floundered a moment, as is usual with an absent man who is +recovering the train of his ideas, or a somnambulist when he is suddenly +awakened, and then answered, still with hesitation,-- + +"Mowbray of St. Ronan's?--ha--eh--I know--that is--I did know the +family." + +"Here they are going to give a masquerade, a _bal pare_, private +theatricals, I think, and what not," handing him the card. + +"I saw something of this a fortnight ago," said Mr. Cargill; "indeed, I +either had a ticket myself, or I saw such a one as that." + +"Are you sure you did not attend the party, Doctor?" said the Nabob. + +"Who attend? I? you are jesting, Mr. Touchwood." + +"But are you quite positive?" demanded Mr. Touchwood, who had observed, +to his infinite amusement, that the learned and abstracted scholar was +so conscious of his own peculiarities, as never to be very sure on any +such subject. + +"Positive!" he repeated with embarrassment; "my memory is so wretched +that I never like to be positive--but had I done any thing so far out of +my usual way, I must have remembered it, one would think--and--I _am_ +positive I was not there." + +"Neither could you, Doctor," said the Nabob, laughing at the process by +which his friend reasoned himself into confidence, "for it did not take +place--it was adjourned, and this is the second invitation--there will +be one for you, as you had a card to the former.--Come, Doctor, you must +go--you and I will go together--I as an Imaum--I can say my Bismillah +with any Hadgi of them all--You as a cardinal, or what you like best." + +"Who, I?--it is unbecoming my station, Mr. Touchwood," said the +clergyman--"a folly altogether inconsistent with my habits." + +"All the better--you shall change your habits." + +"You had better gang up and see them, Mr. Cargill," said Mrs. Dods; "for +it's maybe the last sight ye may see of Miss Mowbray--they say she is to +be married and off to England ane of thae odd-come-shortlies, wi' some +of the gowks about the Waal down-by." + +"Married!" said the clergyman; "it is impossible!" + +"But where's the impossibility, Mr. Cargill, when ye see folk marry +every day, and buckle them yoursell into the bargain?--Maybe ye think +the puir lassie has a bee in her bannet; but ye ken yoursell if naebody +but wise folk were to marry, the warld wad be ill peopled. I think it's +the wise folk that keep single, like yoursell and me, Mr. Cargill.--Gude +guide us!--are ye weel?--will ye taste a drap o' something?" + +"Sniff at my ottar of roses," said Mr. Touchwood; "the scent would +revive the dead--why, what in the devil's name is the meaning of +this?--you were quite well just now." + +"A sudden qualm," said Mr. Cargill, recovering himself. + +"Oh! Mr. Cargill," said Dame Dods, "this comes of your lang fasts." + +"Right, dame," subjoined Mr. Touchwood; "and of breaking them with sour +milk and pease bannock--the least morsel of Christian food is rejected +by stomach, just as a small gentleman refuses the visit of a creditable +neighbour, lest he see the nakedness of the land--ha! ha!" + +"And there is really a talk of Miss Mowbray of St Ronan's being +married?" said the clergyman. + +"Troth is there," said the dame; "it's Trotting Nelly's news; and though +she likes a drappie, I dinna think she would invent a lee or carry +ane--at least to me, that am a gude customer." + +"This must be looked to," said Mr. Cargill, as if speaking to himself. + +"In troth, and so it should," said Dame Dods; "it's a sin and a shame if +they should employ the tinkling cymbal they ca' Chatterly, and sic a +Presbyterian trumpet as yoursell in the land, Mr. Cargill; and if ye +will take a fule's advice, ye winna let the multure be ta'en by your ain +mill, Mr. Cargill." + +"True, true, good Mother Dods," said the Nabob; "gloves and hatbands are +things to be looked after, and Mr. Cargill had better go down to this +cursed festivity with me, in order to see after his own interest." + +"I must speak with the young lady," said the clergyman, still in a brown +study. + +"Right, right, my boy of black-letter," said the Nabob; "with me you +shall go, and we'll bring them to submission to mother-church, I warrant +you--Why, the idea of being cheated in such a way, would scare a Santon +out of his trance.--What dress will you wear?" + +"My own, to be sure," said the divine, starting from his reverie. + +"True, thou art right again--they may want to knit the knot on the spot, +and who would be married by a parson in masquerade?--We go to the +entertainment though--it is a done thing." + +The clergyman assented, provided he should receive an invitation; and as +that was found at the Manse, he had no excuse for retracting, even if he +had seemed to desire one. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +FORTUNE'S FROLICS. + + _Count Basset._ We gentlemen, whose carriages run on the four aces, + are apt to have a wheel out of order. + +_The Provoked Husband._ + + +Our history must now look a little backwards; and although it is rather +foreign to our natural style of composition, it must speak more in +narrative, and less in dialogue, rather telling what happened, than its +effects upon the actors. Our purpose, however, is only conditional, for +we foresee temptations which may render it difficult for us exactly to +keep it. + +The arrival of the young Earl of Etherington at the salutiferous +fountain of St. Ronan's had produced the strongest sensation; +especially, as it was joined with the singular accident of the attempt +upon his lordship's person, as he took a short cut through the woods on +foot, at a distance from his equipage and servants. The gallantry with +which he beat off the highwayman, was only equal to his generosity; for +he declined making any researches after the poor devil, although his +lordship had received a severe wound in the scuffle. + +Of the "three black Graces," as they have been termed by one of the most +pleasant companions of our time, Law and Physic hastened to do homage +to Lord Etherington, represented by Mr. Meiklewham and Dr. Quackleben; +while Divinity, as favourable, though more coy, in the person of the +Reverend Mr. Simon Chatterly, stood on tiptoe to offer any service in +her power. + +For the honourable reason already assigned, his lordship, after thanking +Mr. Meiklewham, and hinting, that he might have different occasion for +his services, declined his offer to search out the delinquent by whom he +had been wounded; while to the care of the Doctor he subjected the cure +of a smart flesh-wound in the arm, together with a slight scratch on the +temple; and so very genteel was his behaviour on the occasion, that the +Doctor, in his anxiety for his safety, enjoined him a month's course of +the waters, if he would enjoy the comfort of a complete and perfect +recovery. Nothing so frequent, he could assure his lordship, as the +opening of cicatrized wounds; and the waters of St. Ronan's spring +being, according to Dr. Quackleben, a remedy for all the troubles which +flesh is heir to, could not fail to equal those of Barege, in +facilitating the discharge of all splinters or extraneous matter, which +a bullet may chance to incorporate with the human frame, to its great +annoyance. For he was wont to say, that although he could not declare +the waters which he patronised to be an absolute _panpharmacon_, yet he +would with word and pen maintain, that they possessed the principal +virtues of the most celebrated medicinal springs in the known world. In +short, the love of Alpheus for Arethusa was a mere jest, compared to +that which the Doctor entertained for his favourite fountain. + +The new and noble guest, whose arrival so much illustrated these scenes +of convalescence and of gaiety, was not at first seen so much at the +ordinary, and other places of public resort, as had been the hope of the +worthy company assembled. His health and his wound proved an excuse for +making his visits to the society few and far between. + +But when he did appear, his manners and person were infinitely +captivating; and even the carnation-coloured silk handkerchief, which +suspended his wounded arm, together with the paleness and languor which +loss of blood had left on his handsome and open countenance, gave a +grace to the whole person which many of the ladies declared +irresistible. All contended for his notice, attracted at once by his +affability, and piqued by the calm and easy nonchalance with which it +seemed to be blended. The scheming and selfish Mowbray, the +coarse-minded and brutal Sir Bingo, accustomed to consider themselves, +and to be considered, as the first men of the party, sunk into +comparative insignificance. But chiefly Lady Penelope threw out the +captivations of her wit and her literature; while Lady Binks, trusting +to her natural charms, endeavoured equally to attract his notice. The +other nymphs of the Spa held a little back, upon the principle of that +politeness, which, at continental hunting parties, affords the first +shot at a fine piece of game, to the person of the highest rank present; +but the thought throbbed in many a fair bosom, that their ladyships +might miss their aim, in spite of the advantages thus allowed them, and +that there might then be room for less exalted, but perhaps not less +skilful, markswomen, to try their chance. + +But while the Earl thus withdrew from public society, it was necessary, +at least natural, that he should choose some one with whom to share the +solitude of his own apartment; and Mowbray, superior in rank to the +half-pay whisky-drinking Captain MacTurk; in dash to Winterblossom, who +was broken down, and turned twaddler; and in tact and sense to Sir Bingo +Binks, easily manoeuvred himself into his lordship's more intimate +society; and internally thanking the honest footpad, whose bullet had +been the indirect means of secluding his intended victim from all +society but his own, he gradually began to feel the way, and prove the +strength of his antagonist, at the various games of skill and hazard +which he introduced, apparently with the sole purpose of relieving the +tedium of a sick-chamber. + +Meiklewham, who felt, or affected, the greatest possible interest in his +patron's success, and who watched every opportunity to enquire how his +schemes advanced, received at first such favourable accounts as made him +grin from ear to ear, rub his hands, and chuckle forth such bursts of +glee as only the success of triumphant roguery could have extorted from +him. Mowbray looked grave, however, and checked his mirth. + +"There was something in it after all," he said, "that he could not +perfectly understand. Etherington, an used hand--d----d sharp--up to +every thing, and yet he lost his money like a baby." + +"And what the matter how he loses it, so you win it like a man?" said +his legal friend and adviser. + +"Why, hang it, I cannot tell," replied Mowbray--"were it not that I +think he has scarce the impudence to propose such a thing to succeed, +curse me but I should think he was coming the old soldier over me, and +keeping up his game.--But no--he can scarce have the impudence to think +of that.--I find, however, that he has done Wolverine--cleaned out poor +Tom--though Tom wrote to me the precise contrary, yet the truth has +since come out--Well, I shall avenge him, for I see his lordship is to +be had as well as other folk." + +"Weel, Mr. Mowbray," said the lawyer, in a tone of affected sympathy, +"ye ken your own ways best--but the heavens will bless a moderate mind. +I would not like to see you ruin this poor lad, _funditus_, that is to +say, out and out. To lose some of the ready will do him no great harm, +and maybe give him a lesson he may be the better of as long as he +lives--but I wad not, as an honest man, wish you to go deeper--you +should spare the lad, Mr. Mowbray." + +"Who spared _me_, Meiklewham?" said Mowbray, with a look and tone of +deep emphasis--"No, no--he must go through the mill--money and money's +worth.--His seat is called Oakendale--think of that, Mick--Oakendale! +Oh, name of thrice happy augury!--Speak not of mercy, Mick--the +squirrels of Oakendale must be dismounted, and learn to go a-foot.--What +mercy can the wandering lord of Troy expect among the Greeks?--The +Greeks!--I am a very Suliote--the bravest of Greeks. + + 'I think not of pity, I think not of fear, + He neither must know who would serve the Vizier.' + +And necessity, Mick," he concluded, with a tone something altered, +"necessity is as unrelenting a leader as any Vizier or Pacha, whom +Scanderbeg ever fought with, or Byron has sung." + +Meiklewham echoed his patron's ejaculation with a sound betwixt a +whine, a chuckle, and a groan; the first being designed to express his +pretended pity for the destined victim; the second his sympathy with his +patron's prospects of success; and the third being a whistle admonitory +of the dangerous courses through which his object was to be pursued. + +Suliote as he boasted himself, Mowbray had, soon after this +conversation, some reason to admit that, + + "When Greek meets Greek, then comes the tug of war." + +The light skirmishing betwixt the parties was ended, and the serious +battle commenced with some caution on either side; each perhaps, +desirous of being master of his opponent's system of tactics, before +exposing his own. Piquet, the most beautiful game at which a man can +make sacrifice of his fortune, was one with which Mowbray had, for his +misfortune perhaps, been accounted, from an early age, a great +proficient, and in which the Earl of Etherington, with less experience, +proved no novice. They now played for such stakes as Mowbray's state of +fortune rendered considerable to him, though his antagonist appeared not +to regard the amount. And they played with various success; for, though +Mowbray at times returned with a smile of confidence the enquiring looks +of his friend Meiklewham, there were other occasions on which he seemed +to evade them, as if his own had a sad confession to make in reply. + +These alternations, though frequent, did not occupy, after all, many +days; for Mowbray, a friend of all hours, spent much of his time in Lord +Etherington's apartment, and these few days were days of battle. In the +meantime, as his lordship was now sufficiently recovered to join the +Party at Shaws-Castle, and Miss Mowbray's health being announced as +restored, that proposal was renewed, with the addition of a dramatic +entertainment, the nature of which we shall afterwards have occasion to +explain. Cards were anew issued to all those who had been formerly +included in the invitation, and of course to Mr. Touchwood, as formerly +a resident at the Well, and now in the neighbourhood; it being +previously agreed among the ladies, that a Nabob, though sometimes a +dingy or damaged commodity, was not to be rashly or unnecessarily +neglected. As to the parson, he had been asked, of course, as an old +acquaintance of the Mowbray house, not to be left out when the friends +of the family were invited on a great scale; but his habits were well +known, and it was no more expected that he would leave his manse on such +an occasion, than that the kirk should loosen itself from its +foundations. + +It was after these arrangements had been made, that the Laird of St. +Ronan's suddenly entered Meiklewham's private apartment with looks of +exultation. The worthy scribe turned his spectacled nose towards his +patron, and holding in one hand the bunch of papers which he had been +just perusing, and in the other the tape with which he was about to tie +them up again, suspended that operation to await with open eyes and ears +the communication of Mowbray. + +"I have done him!" he said, exultingly, yet in a tone of voice lowered +almost to a whisper; "capotted his lordship for this bout--doubled my +capital, Mick, and something more.--Hush, don't interrupt me--we must +think of Clara now--she must share the sunshine, should it prove but a +blink before a storm.--You know, Mick, these two d----d women, Lady +Penelope and the Binks, have settled that they will have something like +a _bal pare_ on this occasion, a sort of theatrical exhibition, and that +those who like it shall be dressed in character.--I know their +meaning--they think Clara has no dress fit for such foolery, and so they +hope to eclipse her; Lady Pen, with her old-fashioned, ill-set diamonds, +and my Lady Binks, with the new-fashioned finery which she swopt her +character for. But Clara shan't borne down so, by ----! I got that +affected slut, Lady Binks's maid, to tell me what her mistress had set +her mind on, and she is to wear a Grecian habit, forsooth, like one of +Will Allan's Eastern subjects.--But here's the rub--there is only one +shawl for sale in Edinburgh that is worth showing off in, and that is at +the Gallery of Fashion.--Now, Mick, my friend, that shawl must be had +for Clara, with the other trankums of muslin and lace, and so forth, +which you will find marked in the paper there.--Send instantly and +secure it, for, as Lady Binks writes by to-morrow's post, your order can +go by to-night's mail--There is a note for L.100." + +From a mechanical habit of never refusing any thing, Meiklewham readily +took the note, but having looked at it through his spectacles, he +continued to hold it in his hand as he remonstrated with his +patron.--"This is a' very kindly meant, St. Ronan's--very kindly meant; +and I wad be the last to say that Miss Clara does not merit respect and +kindness at your hand; but I doubt mickle if she wad care a bodle for +thae braw things. Ye ken yoursell, she seldom alters her fashions. Od, +she thinks her riding-habit dress eneugh for ony company; and if you +were ganging by good looks, so it is--if she had a thought mair colour, +poor dear." + +"Well, well," said Mowbray, impatiently, "let me alone to reconcile a +woman and a fine dress." + +"To be sure, ye ken best," said the writer; "but, after a', now, wad it +no be better to lay by this hundred pound in Tam Turnpenny's, in case +the young lady should want it afterhend, just for a sair foot?" + +"You are a fool, Mick; what signifies healing a sore foot, when there +will be a broken heart in the case?--No, no--get the things as I desire +you--we will blaze them down for one day at least; perhaps it will be +the beginning of a proper dash." + +"Weel, weel, I wish it may be so," answered Meiklewham; "but this young +Earl--hae ye found the weak point?--Can ye get a decerniture against +him, with expenses?--that is the question." + +"I wish I could answer it," said Mowbray, thoughtfully.--"Confound the +fellow--he is a cut above me in rank and in society too--belongs to the +great clubs, and is in with the Superlatives and Inaccessibles, and all +that sort of folk.--My training has been a peg lower--but, hang it, +there are better dogs bred in the kennel than in the parlour. I am up to +him, I think--at least I will soon know, Mick, whether I am or no, and +that is always one comfort. Never mind--do you execute my commission, +and take care you name no names--I must save my little Abigail's +reputation." + +They parted, Meiklewham to execute his patron's commission--his patron +to bring to the test those hopes, the uncertainty of which he could not +disguise from his own sagacity. + +Trusting to the continuance of his run of luck, Mowbray resolved to +bring affairs to a crisis that same evening. Every thing seemed in the +outset to favour his purpose. They had dined together in Lord +Etherington's apartments--his state of health interfered with the +circulation of the bottle, and a drizzly autumnal evening rendered +walking disagreeable, even had they gone no farther than the private +stable where Lord Etherington's horses were kept, under the care of a +groom of superior skill. Cards were naturally, almost necessarily, +resorted to, as the only alternative for helping away the evening, and +piquet was, as formerly, chosen for the game. + +Lord Etherington seemed at first indolently careless and indifferent +about his play, suffering advantages to escape him, of which, in a more +attentive state of mind, he could not have failed to avail himself. +Mowbray upbraided him with his inattention, and proposed a deeper stake, +in order to interest him in the game. The young nobleman complied; and +in the course of a few hands, the gamesters became both deeply engaged +in watching and profiting by the changes of fortune. These were so many, +so varied, and so unexpected, that the very souls of the players seemed +at length centred in the event of the struggle; and, by dint of doubling +stakes, the accumulated sum of a thousand pounds and upwards, upon each +side, came to be staked in the issue of the game.--So large a risk +included all those funds which Mowbray commanded by his sister's +kindness, and nearly all his previous winnings, so to him the +alternative was victory or ruin. He could not hide his agitation, +however desirous to do so. He drank wine to supply himself with +courage--he drank water to cool his agitation; and at length bent +himself to play with as much care and attention as he felt himself +enabled to command. + +In the first part of the game their luck appeared tolerably equal, and +the play of both befitting gamesters who had dared to place such a sum +on the cast. But, as it drew towards a conclusion, fortune altogether +deserted him who stood most in need of her favour, and Mowbray, with +silent despair, saw his fate depend on a single trick, and that with +every odds against him, for Lord Etherington was elder hand. But how can +fortune's favour secure any one who is not true to himself?--By an +infraction of the laws of the game, which could only have been expected +from the veriest bungler that ever touched a card, Lord Etherington +called a point without showing it, and, by the ordinary rule, Mowbray +was entitled to count his own--and in the course of that and the next +hand, gained the game and swept the stakes. Lord Etherington showed +chagrin and displeasure, and seemed to think that the rigour of the game +had been more insisted upon than in courtesy it ought to have been, when +men were playing for so small a stake. Mowbray did not understand this +logic. A thousand pounds, he said, were in his eyes no nutshells; the +rules of piquet were insisted on by all but boys and women; and for his +part, he had rather not play at all than not play the game. + +"So it would seem, my dear Mowbray," said the Earl; "for on my soul, I +never saw so disconsolate a visage as thine during that unlucky +game--it withdrew all my attention from my hand; and I may safely say, +your rueful countenance has stood me in a thousand pounds. If I could +transfer thy long visage to canvass, I should have both my revenge and +my money; for a correct resemblance would be worth not a penny less than +the original has cost me." + +"You are welcome to your jest, my lord," said Mowbray, "it has been well +paid for; and I will serve you in ten thousand at the same rate. What +say you?" he proceeded, taking up and shuffling the cards, "will you do +yourself more justice in another game?--Revenge, they say, is sweet." + +"I have no appetite for it this evening," said the Earl, gravely; "if I +had, Mowbray, you might come by the worse. I do not _always_ call a +point without showing it." + +"Your lordship is out of humour with yourself for a blunder that might +happen to any man--it was as much my good luck as a good hand would have +been, and so fortune be praised." + +"But what if with this Fortune had nought to do?" replied Lord +Etherington.--"What if, sitting down with an honest fellow and a friend +like yourself, Mowbray, a man should rather choose to lose his own +money, which he could afford, than to win what it might distress his +friend to part with?" + +"Supposing a case so far out of supposition, my lord," answered Mowbray, +who felt the question ticklish--"for, with submission, the allegation is +easily made, and is totally incapable of proof--I should say, no one had +a right to think for me in such a particular, or to suppose that I +played for a higher stake than was convenient." + +"And thus your friend, poor devil," replied Lord Etherington, "would +lose his money, and run the risk of a quarrel into the boot!--We will +try it another way--Suppose this good-humoured and simple-minded +gamester had a favour of the deepest import to ask of his friend, and +judged it better to prefer his request to a winner than to a loser?" + +"If this applies to me, my lord," replied Mowbray, "it is necessary I +should learn how I can oblige your lordship." + +"That is a word soon spoken, but so difficult to be recalled, that I am +almost tempted to pause--but yet it must be said.--Mowbray, you have a +sister." + +Mowbray started.--"I have indeed a sister, my lord; but I can conceive +no case in which her name can enter with propriety into our present +discussion." + +"Again in the menacing mood!" said Lord Etherington, in his former tone; +"now, here is a pretty fellow--he would first cut my throat for having +won a thousand pounds from me, and then for offering to make his sister +a countess!" + +"A countess, my lord?" said Mowbray; "you are but jesting--you have +never even seen Clara Mowbray." + +"Perhaps not--but what then?--I may have seen her picture, as Puff says +in the Critic, or fallen in love with her from rumour--or, to save +farther suppositions, as I see they render you impatient, I may be +satisfied with knowing that she is a beautiful and accomplished young +lady, with a large fortune." + +"What fortune do you mean, my lord?" said Mowbray, recollecting with +alarm some claims, which, according to Meiklewham's view of the +subject, his sister might form upon his property.--"What estate?--there +is nothing belongs to our family, save these lands of St. Ronan's, or +what is left of them; and of these I am, my lord, an undoubted heir of +entail in possession." + +"Be it so," said the Earl, "for I have no claim on your mountain realms +here, which are, doubtless, + + ----'renown'd of old + For knights, and squires, and barons bold;' + +my views respect a much richer, though less romantic domain--a large +manor, hight Nettlewood. House old, but standing in the midst of such +glorious oaks--three thousand acres of land, arable, pasture, and +woodland, exclusive of the two closes, occupied by Widow Hodge and +Goodman Trampclod--manorial rights--mines and minerals--and the devil +knows how many good things besides, all lying in the vale of Bever." + +"And what has my sister to do with all this?" asked Mowbray, in great +surprise. + +"Nothing; but that it belongs to her when she becomes Countess of +Etherington." + +"It is, then, your lordship's property already?" + +"No, by Jove! nor can it, unless your sister honours me with her +approbation of my suit," replied the Earl. + +"This is a sorer puzzle than one of Lady Penelope's charades, my lord," +said Mr. Mowbray; "I must call in the assistance of the Reverend Mr. +Chatterly." + +"You shall not need," said Lord Etherington; "I will give you the key, +but listen to me with patience.--You know that we nobles of England, +less jealous of our sixteen quarters than those on the continent, do +not take scorn to line our decayed ermines with the little cloth of gold +from the city; and my grandfather was lucky enough to get a wealthy +wife, with a halting pedigree,--rather a singular circumstance, +considering that her father was a countryman of yours. She had a +brother, however, still more wealthy than herself, and who increased his +fortune by continuing to carry on the trade which had first enriched his +family. At length he summed up his books, washed his hands of commerce, +and retired to Nettlewood, to become a gentleman; and here my much +respected grand-uncle was seized with the rage of making himself a man +of consequence. He tried what marrying a woman of family would do; but +he soon found that whatever advantage his family might derive from his +doing so, his own condition was but little illustrated. He next resolved +to become a man of family himself. His father had left Scotland when +very young, and bore, I blush to say, the vulgar name of Scrogie. This +hapless dissyllable my uncle carried in person to the herald office in +Scotland; but neither Lyon, nor Marchmont, nor Islay, nor Snadoun, +neither herald nor pursuivant, would patronise Scrogie.--Scrogie!--there +could nothing be made out of it--so that my worthy relative had recourse +to the surer side of the house, and began to found his dignity on his +mother's name of Mowbray. In this he was much more successful, and I +believe some sly fellow stole for him a slip from your own family tree, +Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, which, I daresay, you have never missed. At +any rate, for his _argent_ and _or_, he got a handsome piece of +parchment, blazoned with a white lion for Mowbray, to be borne +quarterly, with three stunted or scrog-bushes for Scrogie, and became +thenceforth Mr. Scrogie Mowbray, or rather, as he subscribed himself, +Reginald (his former Christian name was Ronald) S. Mowbray. He had a son +who most undutifully laughed at all this, refused the honours of the +high name of Mowbray, and insisted on retaining his father's original +appellative of Scrogie, to the great annoyance of his said father's +ears, and damage of his temper." + +"Why, faith, betwixt the two," said Mowbray, "I own I should have +preferred my own name, and I think the old gentleman's taste rather +better than the young one's." + +"True; but both were wilful, absurd originals, with a happy obstinacy of +temper, whether derived from Mowbray or Scrogie I know not, but which +led them so often into opposition, that the offended father, Reginald S. +Mowbray, turned his recusant son Scrogie fairly out of doors; and the +fellow would have paid for his plebeian spirit with a vengeance, had he +not found refuge with a surviving partner of the original Scrogie of +all, who still carried on the lucrative branch of traffic by which the +family had been first enriched. I mention these particulars to account, +in so far as I can, for the singular predicament in which I now find +myself placed." + +"Proceed, my lord," said Mr. Mowbray; "there is no denying the +singularity of your story, and I presume you are quite serious in giving +me such an extraordinary detail." + +"Entirely so, upon my honour--and a most serious matter it is, you will +presently find. When my worthy uncle, Mr. S. Mowbray, (for I will not +call him Scrogie even in the grave,) paid his debt to nature, every +body concluded he would be found to have disinherited his son, the +unfilial Scrogie, and so far every body was right--But it was also +generally believed that he would settle the estate on my father, Lord +Etherington, the son of his sister, and therein every one was wrong. For +my excellent grand-uncle had pondered with himself, that the favoured +name of Mowbray would take no advantage, and attain no additional +elevation, if his estate of Nettlewood (otherwise called Mowbray-Park) +should descend to our family without any condition; and with the +assistance of a sharp attorney, he settled it on me, then a schoolboy, +_on condition_ that I should, before attaining the age of twenty-five +complete, take unto myself in holy wedlock a young lady of good fame, of +the name of Mowbray, and, by preference, of the house of St. Ronan's, +should a damsel of that house exist.--Now my riddle is read." + +"And a very extraordinary one it is," replied Mowbray, thoughtfully. + +"Confess the truth," said Lord Etherington, laying his hand on his +shoulder; "you think the story will bear a grain of a scruple of doubt, +if not a whole scruple itself?" + +"At least, my lord," answered Mowbray, "your lordship will allow, that, +being Miss Mowbray's only near relation, and sole guardian, I may, +without offence, pause upon a suit for her hand, made under such odd +circumstances." + +"If you have the least doubt either respecting my rank or fortune, I can +give, of course, the most satisfactory references," said the Earl of +Etherington. + +"That I can easily believe, my lord," said Mowbray; "nor do I in the +least fear deception, where detection would be so easy. Your lordship's +proceedings towards me, too," (with a conscious glance at the bills he +still held in his hand,) "have, I admit, been such as to intimate some +such deep cause of interest as you have been pleased to state. But it +seems strange that your lordship should have permitted years to glide +away, without so much as enquiring after the young lady, who, I believe, +is the only person qualified as your grand-uncle's will requires, with +whom you can form an alliance. It appears to me, that long before now, +this matter ought to have been investigated; and that, even now, it +would have been more natural and more decorous to have at least seen my +sister before proposing for her hand." + +"On the first point, my dear Mowbray," said Lord Etherington, "I am free +to own to you, that, without meaning your sister the least affront, I +would have got rid of this clause if I could; for every man would fain +choose a wife for himself, and I feel no hurry to marry at all. But the +rogue-lawyers, after taking fees, and keeping me in hand for years, have +at length roundly told me the clause must be complied with, or +Nettlewood must have another master. So I thought it best to come down +here in person, in order to address the fair lady; but as accident has +hitherto prevented my seeing her, and as I found in her brother a man +who understands the world, I hope you will not think the worse of me, +that I have endeavoured in the outset to make you my friend. Truth is, I +shall be twenty-five in the course of a month; and without your favour, +and the opportunities which only you can afford me, that seems a short +time to woo and win a lady of Miss Mowbray's merit." + +"And what is the alternative if you do not form this proposed alliance, +my lord?" said Mowbray. + +"The bequest of my grand-uncle lapses," said the Earl, "and fair +Nettlewood, with its old house, and older oaks, manorial rights, Hodge +Trampclod, and all, devolves on a certain cousin-german of mine, whom +Heaven of his mercy confound!" + +"You have left yourself little time to prevent such an event, my lord," +said Mowbray; "but things being as I now see them, you shall have what +interest I can give you in the affair.--We must stand, however, on more +equal terms, my lord--I will condescend so far as to allow it would have +been inconvenient for me at this moment to have lost that game, but I +cannot in the circumstances think of acting as if I had fairly won it. +We must draw stakes, my lord." + +"Not a word of that, if you really mean me kindly, my dear Mowbray. The +blunder was a real one, for I was indeed thinking, as you may suppose, +on other things than the showing my point--All was fairly lost and +won.--I hope I shall have opportunities of offering real services, which +may perhaps give me some right to your partial regard--at present we are +on equal footing on all sides--perfectly so." + +"If your lordship thinks so," said Mowbray,--and then passing rapidly to +what he felt he could say with more confidence,--"Indeed, at any rate, +no personal obligation to myself could prevent my doing my full duty as +guardian to my sister." + +"Unquestionably, I desire nothing else," replied the Earl of +Etherington. + +"I must therefore understand that your lordship is quite serious in your +proposal; and that it is not to be withdrawn, even if upon acquaintance +with Miss Mowbray, you should not perhaps think her so deserving of your +lordship's attentions, as report may have spoken her." + +"Mr. Mowbray," replied the Earl, "the treaty between you and me shall be +as definite as if I were a sovereign prince, demanding in marriage the +sister of a neighbouring monarch, whom, according to royal etiquette, he +neither has seen nor could see. I have been quite frank with you, and I +have stated to you that my present motives for entering upon negotiation +are not personal, but territorial; when I know Miss Mowbray, I have no +doubt they will be otherwise. I have heard she is beautiful." + +"Something of the palest, my lord," answered Mowbray. + +"A fine complexion is the first attraction which is lost in the world of +fashion, and that which it is easiest to replace." + +"Dispositions, my lord, may differ," said Mowbray, "without faults on +either side. I presume your lordship has enquired into my sister's. She +is amiable, accomplished, sensible, and high-spirited; but yet"---- + +"I understand you, Mr. Mowbray, and will spare you the pain of speaking +out. I have heard Miss Mowbray is in some respects--particular; to use a +broader word--a little whimsical.--No matter. She will have the less to +learn when she becomes a countess, and a woman of fashion." + +"Are you serious, my lord?" said Mowbray. + +"I am--and I will speak my mind still more plainly. I have good temper, +and excellent spirits, and can endure a good deal of singularity in +those I live with. I have no doubt your sister and I will live happily +together--But in case it should prove otherwise, arrangements may be +made previously, which will enable us in certain circumstances to live +happily apart. My own estate is large, and Nettlewood will bear +dividing." + +"Nay, then," said Mowbray, "I have little more to say--nothing indeed +remains for enquiry, so far as your lordship is concerned. But my sister +must have free liberty of choice--so far as I am concerned, your +lordship's suit has my interest." + +"And I trust we may consider it as a done thing?" + +"With Clara's approbation--certainly," answered Mowbray. + +"I trust there is no chance of personal repugnance on the young lady's +part?" said the young peer. + +"I anticipate nothing of the kind, my lord," answered Mowbray, "as I +presume there is no reason for any; but young ladies will be capricious, +and if Clara, after I have done and said all that a brother ought to do, +should remain repugnant, there is a point in the exertion of my +influence which it would be cruelty to pass." + +The Earl of Etherington walked a turn through the apartment, then +paused, and said, in a grave and doubtful tone, "In the meanwhile, I am +bound, and the young lady is free, Mowbray. Is this quite fair?" + +"It is what happens in every case, my lord, where a gentleman proposes +for a lady," answered Mowbray; "he must remain, of course, bound by his +offer, until, within a reasonable time, it is accepted or rejected. It +is not my fault that your lordship has declared your wishes to me, +before ascertaining Clara's inclination. But while as yet the matter is +between ourselves--I make you welcome to draw back if you think proper. +Clara Mowbray needs not push for a catch-match." + +"Nor do I desire," said the young nobleman, "any time to reconsider the +resolution which I have confided to you. I am not in the least fearful +that I shall change my mind on seeing your sister, and I am ready to +stand by the proposal which I have made to you.--If, however, you feel +so extremely delicately on my account," he continued, "I can see and +even converse with Miss Mowbray at this fete of yours, without the +necessity of being at all presented to her--The character which I have +assumed in a manner obliges me to wear a mask." + +"Certainly," said the Laird of St. Ronan's, "and I am glad, for both our +sakes, your lordship thinks of taking a little law upon this occasion." + +"I shall profit nothing by it," said the Earl; "my doom is fixed before +I start--but if this mode of managing the matter will save your +conscience, I have no objection to it--it cannot consume much time, +which is what I have to look to." + +They then shook hands and parted, without any farther discourse which +could interest the reader. + +Mowbray was glad to find himself alone, in order to think over what had +happened, and to ascertain the state of his own mind, which at present +was puzzling even to himself. He could not but feel that much greater +advantages of every kind might accrue to himself and his family from the +alliance of the wealthy young Earl, than could have been derived from +any share of his spoils which he had proposed to gain by superior +address in play, or greater skill on the turf. But his pride was hurt +when he recollected that he had placed himself entirely in Lord +Etherington's power; and the escape from absolute ruin which he had +made, solely by the sufferance of his opponent, had nothing in it +consolatory to his wounded feelings. He was lowered in his own eyes, +when he recollected how completely the proposed victim of his ingenuity +had seen through his schemes, and only abstained from baffling them +entirely, because to do so suited best with his own. There was a shade +of suspicion, too, which he could not entirely eradicate from his +mind.--What occasion had this young nobleman to preface, by the +voluntary loss of a brace of thousands, a proposal which must have been +acceptable in itself, without any such sacrifice? And why should he, +after all, have been so eager to secure his accession to the proposed +alliance, before he had even seen the lady who was the object of it? +However hurried for time, he might have waited the event at least of the +entertainment at Shaws-Castle, at which Clara was necessarily obliged to +make her appearance.--Yet such conduct, however unusual, was equally +inconsistent with any sinister intentions; since the sacrifice of a +large sum of money, and the declaration of his views upon a portionless +young lady of family, could scarcely be the preface to any unfair +practice. So that, upon the whole, Mowbray settled, that what was +uncommon in the Earl's conduct arose from the hasty and eager +disposition of a rich young Englishman, to whom money is of little +consequence, and who is too headlong in pursuit of the favourite plan of +the moment, to proceed in the most rational or most ordinary manner. If, +however, there should prove any thing farther in the matter than he +could at present discover, Mowbray promised himself that the utmost +circumspection on his part could not fail to discover it, and that in +full time to prevent any ill consequences to his sister or himself. + +Immersed in such cogitations, he avoided the inquisitive presence of Mr. +Meiklewham, who, as usual, had been watching for him to learn how +matters were going on; and although it was now late, he mounted his +horse, and rode hastily to Shaws-Castle. On the way, he deliberated with +himself whether to mention to his sister the application which had been +made to him, in order to prepare her to receive the young Earl as a +suitor, favoured with her brother's approbation. "But no, no, no;" such +was the result of his contemplation. "She might take it into her head +that his thoughts were bent less upon having her for a countess, than on +obtaining possession of his grand-uncle's estate.--We must keep quiet," +concluded he, "until her personal appearance and accomplishments may +appear at least to have some influence upon his choice.--We must say +nothing till this blessed entertainment has been given and received." + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +A LETTER. + + "Has he so long held out with me untired, + And stops he now for breath?--Well--Be it so." + +_Richard III._ + + +Mowbray had no sooner left the Earl's apartment, than the latter +commenced an epistle to a friend and associate, which we lay before the +reader, as best calculated to illustrate the views and motives of the +writer. It was addressed to Captain Jekyl, of the ---- regiment of +Guards, at the Green Dragon, Harrowgate, and was of the following +tenor:-- + + "Dear Harry, + + "I have expected you here these ten days past, anxiously as ever man + was looked for; and have now to charge your absence as high treason + to your sworn allegiance. Surely you do not presume, like one of + Napoleon's new-made monarchs, to grumble for independence, as if + your greatness were of your own making, or as if I had picked you + out of the whole of St. James's coffee-house to hold my back-hand, + for your sake, forsooth, not for my own? Wherefore, lay aside all + your own proper business, be it the pursuit of dowagers, or the + plucking of pigeons, and instantly repair to this place, where I may + speedily want your assistance.--_May_ want it, said I? Why, most + negligent of friends and allies, I _have_ wanted it already, and + that when it might have done me yeoman's service. Know that I have + had an affair since I came hither--have got hurt myself, and have + nearly shot my friend; and if I had, I might have been hanged for + it, for want of Harry Jekyl to bear witness in my favour. I was so + far on my road to this place, when, not choosing, for certain + reasons, to pass through the old village, I struck by a footpath + into the woods which separate it from the new Spa, leaving my + carriage and people to go the carriage-way. I had not walked half a + mile when I heard the footsteps of some one behind, and, looking + round, what should I behold but the face in the world which I most + cordially hate and abhor--I mean that which stands on the shoulders + of my right trusty and well-beloved cousin and counsellor, Saint + Francis. He seemed as much confounded as I was at our unexpected + meeting; and it was a minute ere he found breath to demand what I + did in Scotland, contrary to my promise, as he was pleased to + express it.--I retaliated, and charged him with being here, in + contradiction to his.--He justified, and said he had only come down + upon the express information that I was upon my road to St. + Ronan's.--Now, Harry, how the devil should he have known this hadst + thou been quite faithful? for I am sure, to no ear but thine own did + I breathe a whisper of my purpose.--Next, with the insolent + assumption of superiority, which he founds on what he calls the + rectitude of his purpose, he proposed we should both withdraw from a + neighbourhood into which we could bring nothing but wretchedness.--I + have told you how difficult it is to cope with the calm and resolute + manner that the devil gifts him with on such occasions; but I was + determined he should not carry the day this time. I saw no chance + for it, however, but to put myself into a towering passion, which, + thank Heaven, I can always do on short notice.--I charged him with + having imposed formerly on my youth, and made himself judge of my + rights; and I accompanied my defiance with the strongest terms of + irony and contempt, as well as with demand of instant satisfaction. + I had my travelling pistols with me, (_et pour cause_,) and, to my + surprise, my gentleman was equally provided.--For fair play's sake, + I made him take one of my pistols--right Kuchenritters--a brace of + balls in each, but that circumstance I forgot.--I would fain have + argued the matter a little longer; but I thought at the time, and + think still, that the best arguments which he and I can exchange, + must come from the point of the sword, or the muzzle of the + pistol.--We fired nearly together, and I think both dropped--I am + sure I did, but recovered in a minute, with a damaged arm and a + scratch on the temple--it was the last which stunned me--so much for + double-loaded pistols.--My friend was invisible, and I had nothing + for it but to walk to the Spa, bleeding all the way like a calf, and + tell a raw-head-and-bloody-bone story about a footpad, which, but + for my earldom, and my gory locks, no living soul would have + believed. + + "Shortly after, when I had been installed in a sick room, I had the + mortification to learn, that my own impatience had brought all this + mischief upon me, at a moment when I had every chance of getting rid + of my friend without trouble, had I but let him go on his own + errand; for it seems he had an appointment that morning with a booby + Baronet, who is said to be a bullet-slitter, and would perhaps have + rid me of Saint Francis without any trouble or risk on my part. + Meantime, his non-appearance at this rendezvous has placed Master + Francis Tyrrel, as he chooses to call himself, in the worst odour + possible with the gentry at the Spring, who have denounced him as a + coward and no gentleman.--What to think of the business myself, I + know not; and I much want your assistance to see what can have + become of this fellow, who, like a spectre of ill omen, has so often + thwarted and baffled my best plans. My own confinement renders me + inactive, though my wound is fast healing. Dead he cannot be; for, + had he been mortally wounded, we should have heard of him somewhere + or other--he could not have vanished from the earth like a bubble of + the elements. Well and sound he cannot be; for, besides that I am + sure I saw him stagger and drop, firing his pistol as he fell, I + know him well enough to swear, that, had he not been severely + wounded, he would have first pestered me with his accursed presence + and assistance, and then walked forward with his usual composure to + settle matters with Sir Bingo Binks. No--no--Saint Francis is none + of those who leave such jobs half finished--it is but doing him + justice to say, he has the devil's courage to back his own + deliberate impertinence. But then, if wounded severely, he must be + still in this neighbourhood, and probably in concealment--this is + what I must discover, and I want your assistance in my enquiries + among the natives.--Haste hither, Harry, as ever you look for good + at my hand. + + "A good player, Harry, always studies to make the best of bad + cards--and so I have endeavoured to turn my wound to some account; + and it has given me the opportunity to secure Monsieur le Frere in + my interests. You say very truly, that it is of consequence to me to + know the character of this new actor on the disordered scene of my + adventures.--Know, then, he is that most incongruous of all + monsters--a Scotch Buck--how far from being buck of the season you + may easily judge. Every point of national character is opposed to + the pretensions of this luckless race, when they attempt to take on + them a personage which is assumed with so much facility by their + brethren of the Isle of Saints. They are a shrewd people, indeed, + but so destitute of ease, grace, pliability of manners, and + insinuation of address, that they eternally seem to suffer actual + misery in their attempts to look gay and careless. Then their pride + heads them back at one turn, their poverty at another, their + pedantry at a third, their _mauvaise honte_ at a fourth; and with + so many obstacles to make them bolt off the course, it is positively + impossible they should win the plate. No, Harry, it is the grave + folk in Old England who have to fear a Caledonian invasion--they + will make no conquests in the world of fashion. Excellent bankers + the Scots may be, for they are eternally calculating how to add + interest to principal;--good soldiers, for they are, if not such + heroes as they would be thought, as brave, I suppose, as their + neighbours, and much more amenable to discipline;--lawyers they are + born; indeed every country gentleman is bred one, and their patient + and crafty disposition enables them, in other lines, to submit to + hardships which other natives could not bear, and avail themselves + of advantages which others would let pass under their noses + unavailingly. But assuredly Heaven did not form the Caledonian for + the gay world; and his efforts at ease, grace, and gaiety, resemble + only the clumsy gambols of the ass in the fable. Yet the Scot has + his sphere too, (in his own country only,) where the character which + he assumes is allowed to pass current. This Mowbray, now--this + brother-in-law of mine--might do pretty well at a Northern Meeting, + or the Leith races, where he could give five minutes to the sport of + the day, and the next half hour to county politics, or to farming; + but it is scarce necessary to tell you, Harry, that this half + fellowship will not pass on the better side of the Tweed. + + "Yet, for all I have told you, this trout was not easily tickled; + nor should I have made much of him, had he not, in the plenitude of + his northern conceit, entertained that notion of my being a good + subject of plunder, which you had contrived (blessings on your + contriving brain!) to insinuate into him by means of Wolverine. He + commenced this hopeful experiment, and, as you must have + anticipated, caught a Tartar with a vengeance. Of course, I used my + victory only so far as to secure his interest in accomplishing my + principal object; and yet, I could see my gentleman's pride was so + much injured in the course of the negotiation, that not all the + advantages which the match offered to his damned family, were able + entirely to subdue the chagrin arising from his defeat. He did gulp + it down, though, and we are friends and allies, for the present at + least--not so cordially so, however, as to induce me to trust him + with the whole of the strangely complicated tale. The circumstance + of the will it was necessary to communicate, as affording a + sufficiently strong reason for urging my suit; and this partial + disclosure enabled me for the present to dispense with farther + confidence. + + "You will observe, that I stand by no means secure; and besides the + chance of my cousin's reappearance--a certain event, unless he is + worse than I dare hope for--I have perhaps to expect the fantastic + repugnance of Clara herself, or some sulky freak on her brother's + part.--In a word--and let it be such a one as conjurers raise the + devil with--Harry Jekyl, I _want_ you. + + "As well knowing the nature of my friend, I can assure you that his + own interest, as well as mine, may be advanced by his coming hither + on duty. Here is a blockhead, whom I already mentioned, Sir Bingo + Binks, with whom something may be done worth _your_ while, though + scarce worth _mine_. The Baronet is a perfect buzzard, and when I + came here he was under Mowbray's training. But the awkward Scot had + plucked half-a-dozen penfeathers from his wing with so little + precaution, that the Baronet has become frightened and shy, and is + now in the act of rebelling against Mowbray, whom he both hates and + fears--the least backing from a knowing hand like you, and the bird + becomes your own, feathers and all.--Moreover, + + ----'by my life, + This Bingo hath a mighty pretty wife.' + + A lovely woman, Harry--rather plump, and above the middle + size--quite your taste--A Juno in beauty, looking with such scorn on + her husband, whom she despises and hates, and seeming, as if she + _could_ look so differently on any one whom she might like better, + that, on my faith, 'twere sin not to give her occasion. If you + please to venture your luck, either with the knight or the lady, you + shall have fair play, and no interference--that is, provided you + appear upon this summons; for, otherwise, I may be so placed, that + the affairs of the knight and the lady may fall under my own + immediate cognizance. And so, Harry, if you wish to profit by these + hints, you had best make haste, as well for your own concerns, as to + assist me in mine.--Yours, Harry, as you behave yourself, + + "ETHERINGTON." + +Having finished this eloquent and instructive epistle, the young Earl +demanded the attendance of his own valet Solmes, whom he charged to put +it into the post-office without delay, and with his own hand. + + + + +AUTHOR'S NOTES. + + +Note I., p. 14.--BUILDING-FEUS IN SCOTLAND. + +In Scotland a village is erected upon a species of landright, very +different from the copyhold so frequent in England. Every alienation or +sale of landed property must be made in the shape of a feudal +conveyance, and the party who acquires it holds thereby an absolute and +perfect right of property in the fief, while he discharges the +stipulations of the vassal, and, above all, pays the feu-duties. The +vassal or tenant of the site of the smallest cottage holds his +possession as absolutely as the proprietor, of whose large estate it is +perhaps scarce a perceptible portion. By dint of excellent laws, the +sasines, or deeds of delivery of such fiefs, are placed on record in +such order, that every burden affecting the property can be seen for +payment of a very moderate fee; so that a person proposing to lend money +upon it, knows exactly the nature and extent of his security. + +From the nature of these landrights being so explicit and secure, the +Scottish people have been led to entertain a jealousy of +building-leases, of however long duration. Not long ago, a great landed +proprietor took the latter mode of disposing of some ground near a +thriving town in the west country. The number of years in the lease was +settled at nine hundred and ninety-nine. All was agreed to, and the +deeds were ordered to be drawn. But the tenant, as he walked down the +avenue, began to reflect that the lease, though so very long as to be +almost perpetual, nevertheless had a termination; and that after the +lapse of a thousand years, lacking one, the connexion of his family and +representatives with the estate would cease. He took a qualm at the +thought of the loss to be sustained by his posterity a thousand years +hence; and going back to the house of the gentleman who feued the +ground, he demanded, and readily obtained, the additional term of fifty +years to be added to the lease. + + +Note II., p. 90.--DARK LADYE. + +The Dark Ladye is one of those tantalizing fragments, in which Mr. +Coleridge has shown us what exquisite powers of poetry he has suffered +to remain uncultivated. Let us be thankful for what we have received, +however. The unfashioned ore, drawn from so rich a mine, is worth all to +which art can add its highest decorations, when drawn from less abundant +sources. The verses beginning the poem which are published separately, +are said to have soothed the last hours of Mr. Fox. They are the stanzas +entitled LOVE. + + +Note III., p. 252.--MAGO-PICO. + +This satire, very popular even in Scotland, at least with one party, was +composed at the expense of a reverend presbyterian divine, of whom many +stories are preserved, being Mr. Pyet, the Mago-Pico of the Tale, +minister of Dunbar. The work is now little known in Scotland, and not at +all in England, though written with much strong and coarse humour, +resembling the style of Arbuthnot. It was composed by Mr. Haliburton, a +military chaplain. The distresses attending Mago-Pico's bachelor life, +are thus stated:-- + + "At the same time I desire you will only figure out to yourself his + situation during his celibacy in the ministerial charge--a house + lying all heaps upon heaps; his bed ill-made, swarming with fleas, + and very cold on the winter nights; his sheep's-head not to be eaten + for wool and hair, his broth singed, his bread mouldy, his lamb and + pig all scouthered, his house neither washed nor plastered; his + black stockings darned with white worsted above the shoes; his + butter made into cat's harns; his cheese one heap of mites and + maggots, and full of large avenues for rats and mice to play at + hide-and-seek and make their nests in. Frequent were the admonitions + he had given his maid-servants on this score, and every now and then + he was turning them off; but still the last was the worst, and in + the meanwhile the poor man was the sufferer. At any rate, therefore, + matrimony must turn to his account, though his wife should prove to + be nothing but a creature of the feminine gender, with a tongue in + her head, and ten fingers on her hands, to clear out the papers of + the housemaid, not to mention the convenience of a man's having it + in his power lawfully to beget sons and daughters in his own + house."--_Memoirs of Mago-Pico. Second edition. Edinburgh_, 1761, p. + 19. + + + + +EDITOR'S NOTES. + + +[I-A] p. 1. "David M'Pherson's map." In his "Geographical History," +London, 4to, 1796. + +[I-B] p. 11. "Jenny Dods ... at Howgate." Scott admitted to Erskine that +the name of "Dods" was borrowed from this slatternly heroine. + +[I-C] p. 33. "He was nae Roman, but only a Cuddie, or Culdee." Some +Scottish Protestants took pride in believing that their Kirk descended +from Culdees, who were not of the Roman Communion. The Culdees have +given rise to a world of dispute, and he would be a bold man who +pretended to understand their exact position. The name seems to be _Cele +De_, "servant [gillie] of God." They were not Columban monks, but fill a +gap between the expulsion of the Columbans by the Picts, and the +Anglicising and Romanising of the Scottish Church by St. Margaret and +her sons. Originally solitary ascetics, they clustered into groups, and, +if we are to believe their supplanters at St. Andrews, the Canons +Regular, they were married men, and used church property for family +profit. Their mass they celebrated with a rite of their own, in their +little church. They were gradually merged in, and overpowered at St. +Andrews, for example, by the Canons Regular, and are last heard of in +prosecuting a claim to elect the Bishop, at the time of Edward the +First's interference with Scottish affairs. The points on which they +differed from Roman practice would probably have seemed very +insignificant to such a theologian as Meg Dods. + +[I-D] p. 47. "Fortunio, in the fairy-tale." The gifted companions of +Fortunio, Keen-eye, Keen-ear, and so forth, are very old stock +characters in Maerchen: their first known appearance is in the saga of +Jason and the Fleece of Gold. + +[I-E] p. 169. "The sportsman's sense of his own cruelty." In the +reminiscences of Captain Basil Hall, published by Lockhart, he mentions +that Scott himself had a dislike of shooting, from a sentiment as to the +cruelty of the sport. "I was never quite at ease when I had knocked down +my blackcock, and going to pick him up he cast back his dying eye with a +look of reproach. I don't affect to be more squeamish than my +neighbours, but I am not ashamed to say that no practice ever reconciled +me fully to the cruelty of the affair. At all events, now that I can do +as I like without fear of ridicule, I take more pleasure in seeing the +birds fly past me unharmed." (Lockhart, vii. 331.) + +[I-F] p. 240. "Tintock." A hill on the Upper Tweed, celebrated in local +rhyme as-- + + On Tintock tap there is a mist, + And in the mist there is a kist, + And in the kist there is a cap, + And in the cap there is a drap. + Tak' up the cap, drink out the drap, + And set it down on Tintock tap. + +[I-G] p. 245. "Donald Cargill." See Editor's Notes to "Redgauntlet." Howie +of Lochgoin says Cargill was executed in Edinburgh, not at Queensferry, +as stated here. + +ANDREW LANG +_December 1893._ + + + + +GLOSSARY. + + +A', all + +"A. B. Memorial," a legal statement which does not give the names of the +parties concerned. + +Abee, alone. + +Ae, one. + +Aff, off. + +Afterhend, afterwards. + +Ain, own. + +Airn, iron. + +Ajee, awry. + +Amaist, almost. + +Andrew Ferrara, a sword. + +Ane, one. + +Assoilzie, to acquit. + +Asteer, astir. + +Atween, between. + +Aught, possession; to own, to possess. + +Auld, old. "Auld lang syne," the days of long ago. + +Aw, all. + +Awa, away. + +Awing, owing, or bill. + +Awmry, a cupboard. + + +Bairn, a child. + +Baith, both. + +Ballant, a ballad. + +Bane, a bone. + +Bangster, a victor + +Bawbee, a halfpenny. + +Bee--"to hae a bee in one's bonnet," to be harebrained. + +Beltane, a festival on the first of May, hence Whitsuntide. + +"Bent, to take the," to provide for one's safety, to flee country. + +Bide, to stay, to remain; to bear, to endure. + +Bigg, to build. + +Bind, one's ability or power. + +Bink, a plate-rack. + +Birl, to turn, to toss. + +"Blaw in my lug," a flatterer. + +Blude, bluid, blood. + +Bodle, a small copper coin. + +Bogle, a scarecrow. + +Bombazine, the silk and worsted stuff of which a lawyer's gown was made. + +Bonnet-laird, a small proprietor or freeholder who farms his own land. + +"Bow Street runners," London detectives. + +Braw, brave, fine. + +Bruick, possessed. + +"By ordinar," out of the common run. + + +Ca', to call. Ca'd, called. + +Callant, a lad. + +Caller, fresh. + +Canna, cannot. + +Cantle, the crown of the head. + +Canty, lively, cheerful. + +Capillaire, a syrup made from maidenhair fern. + +Cappie, a kind of beer. + +Carle, a fellow. + +Carline, a witch. + +Carvy, carraway. + +Cauld, cold. + +Cheek-haffit, side of the cheek. + +Chucky, a pebble. + +Claithes, clothes. + +Claver, gossip. + +Claw, to beat. + +Cleck, clack or hatch. + +Cleeket, cleiket, caught, ensnared, taken. + +Clink, to chime, to rhyme. + +Clouted, patched, and so strengthened. + +Cock-a-leeky, cockie-leekie, soup made of a cock boiled with leeks. + +Cock-bree, cock-broth. + +Cockernonnie, a top-knot. + +Cogue, a wooden measure. + +Condiddling, appropriating. + +Courie, cowry, a shell used as money in parts of Southern Asia and +Africa. + +Coventry. To send one to Coventry is to refuse to have anything to do +with him socially, not even to speak to him. + +Cowt, a colt. + +Craig, a rock. + +Crap, a wig of rough short hair. + +Craw, a crow. + +Cuitle, to wheedle. + +Cumbers, drawbacks, vexations. + +Cutty, a jade. + + +Daffing, frolicking. + +Daft, crazy. + +Daur, to dare. + +"Day, the," to-day. + +Decerniture, a decree of the court. + +Deil, the devil. "Deil's buckie," devil's imp. + +Deleerit, distracted. + +Diet-loaf, a kind of spongecake. + +Dinna, don't. + +Doited, dotard. + +Donnart, stupid. + +Dookit, ducked. + +Douce, quiet, sensible. + +Dought, was able. + +Doun, down. + +Dowcot, a dovecot. + +Drap, a drop. + +Drappie, a drop of spirits. + +Dree'd, endured. + +Drogs, drugs. + +Dung, knocked, beaten. + + +Ee, the eye + +Een, eyes. + +Eneugh, enough. + + +Fa'an, fallen. + +Fash, trouble. + +Fashious, troublesome. + +Faut, fault. + +Feck, part, the greater part. + +Feckless, spiritless. + +Fend, defence. + +Fern-seed. Certain kinds were supposed to render invisible those who +carried it on their person. + +Feuar, one who holds lands in feu--_i.e._, on lease. + +File, foul. + +Flee, a fly. + +Fleeching, flattering. + +Flesher, a butcher. + +Flichtering, fluttering, fussing. + +Flight--"hail flight," the whole lot. + +Flyting, scolding. + +Follies, ornaments, laces, &c. + +Forbears, ancestors. + +Forby, besides. + +Fou, full. + +Fouest, fullest. + +Frae, from. + +Fu', full. + +Fule, a fool. + + +Gaed, went. + +Gaen, gone. + +Galliard, sprightly. + +Gane, gone. + +Gang, go. + +Ganging, going. + +Gar, to force, to make. + +Gate, way, direction. + +Gaun, going. + +Geisen'd, leaking. + +Gie, give. + +Gill-flirt, a giddy flirt. + +Girning, crabbed, ill-tempered. + +Gled, a kite. + +Gnostic, knowing, sharp. + +Gomeril, an ass, a fool. + +Goupin, a double handful. + +Gowd, gold. + +Gowk, a fool. + +Gree, to agree. + +Grosert, a gooseberry. + +Gude, good. + +Gudes, possessions, property. + +Gully, a large knife. + + +Ha', a hall. + +Hae, have. + +Hail, haill, whole. + +Harns, brains. + +Haud, hold. "Neither to haud nor to bind," a proverbial phrase +expressive of violent excitement. + +Haugh, low-lying flat ground, properly on the border of a river, and +such as is sometimes overflowed. + +Haverils, foolish chatterers. + +Heather-tap, a tuft or bunch of heather. + +Hellicate, giddy, wild. + +Hempie, roguish, romping. + +Het, hot. + +Holm, the level low ground on the banks of a river. + +Hooly, softly, slowly. + +Hotch, to jerk oneself along in a sitting posture. + +Hottle, an hotel. + +"Hout fie! hout awa!" expressions of dissatisfaction. + +Howff, a favourite resort. + +Howk, to dig. + +Hurley-hacket, a badly hung carriage. + +Huzzie, a jade. + + +Ilk, ilka, each, every. + +I'se, I shall. + + +Jaugs, saddle bags. + +Jer-falcon, a species of hawk. + +Jirbling, emptying liquids from vessel to vessel. + + +Kale, broth. + +Ken, to know. + +Ken'd, knew. + +Kitchen-fee, dripping. + +Kittle, to tickle, to manage. + +Kittled, were born. + +Knap, to break in two; also, to speak after the manner of the English. + +Kouscousou, a Moorish dish of various compounds. + + +Laird, a squire, lord of the manor. + +Lamer, amber. + +Landlouper, a charlatan, an adventurer. + +Lang, long. + +Lave, the remainder. + +Lawing, a tavern reckoning. + +Lea-rig, unploughed land or hill-side. + +Lee, a lie. + +Leeving, living. + +"Let abee," let alone. + +Lick, to beat, to overcome. + +Linking, walking arm in arm. + +Linkit, linked. + +"Link out," to pay down smartly. + +Lippen, to trust. + +Loon, a fellow, a person. + +Loot, allowed. + +Loup, leap. + +Lug, the ear. + + +Mailing, a farm. + +Mair, more. + +Maist, most. + +Mansworn, perjured. + +Mask, to brew. + +Maun, must. Maunna, must not. + +Mawkin, a hare. + +Mazareen, mazarin, a deep blue colour. + +Meith, a mark. + +Mell, to maul, to meddle with. + +"Minced collops," meat cut up very fine. + +Mind, to remember. + +Muckle, much. + +Muir, a moor. + +Multiplepoinding, a method of settling rival claims to the same fund. + +Multure, the miller's fee for grinding grain. + +Murgeons, mouths, distorted gestures. + +Mutch, a woman's cap. + +Mutchkin, a measure equal to an English pint. + + +Na, nae, no, not. + +Naig, a nag. + +Neist, next. + + +Odd-come-shortlies, chance times not far off. + +Ony, any. + +Or, before. "Or they wan hame," before they get home. + +Ower, over. + +Owerta'en, overtaken. + + +Palinode, in Scotch libel cases a formal recantation exacted in addition +to damages. + +Parritch, porridge. + +Pat, put. + +Pawky, shrewd. + +Pice, an Indian coin. + +Plack, a small copper coin = 1/3_d._ + +Pock, a poke, a bag. + +Poney, L25. + +Pootry, poultry. + +Pow, the head. + +Pownie, a pony. + +Prieve, proof, legal probation. + +Puir, poor. + +Pyot, a magpie. + + +Quaigh, a whisky measure. + + +Raff, a worthless fellow, a nobody. + +Rattan, a cane or walking-stick. + +Rax, to stretch. + +Redd, to tidy. "An ill-red-up house," an untidy house. + +Reekie, smoky. + +Reise-sac, a travelling-bag. + +Rin, run. + +Rouleau, a roll of coined money. + +Row, roll. + + +Sae, so. + +Sair, sore. + +"Salam alicum!" The usual Mohammedan greeting, meaning, Peace be with +you! + +Sall, shall. + +Sasine, a mode of investiture in lands, according to ancient Scottish +law. + +Saumon, salmon. + +Sax, six. + +Scart, scratch. + +Scate-rumple, skate-tail. + +"Scauff and raff," tag-rag and bobtail. + +Sclate, slate. + +Scouthered, slightly toasted or singed. + +Seeven, seven. + +Shave, a slice. + +Shool, a shovel. + +Shouther, the shoulder. + +Sib, related by blood. + +Sic, such. + +Siller, money. + +Skeely, skilful. + +Skylarked, tricked. + +Slaister, a mess. + +Sloan, a rebuff. + +Smoor, to smother. + +Snap, a small biscuit. + +Sneck-drawing, crafty. + +Snooded, bound up with a snood or fillet for the hair. + +Sorn, to spunge, to live upon. + +Sort, to arrange, to manage. + +Sough, a sigh. "To keep a calm sough," to keep a quiet tongue. + +Speer, to inquire. + +Steer, stir. + +Steered, disturbed. + +Streekit, stretched (applied to a corpse). + +Suld, should. + +Syllabub, a curd made of wins or cider with milk or cream. + +Synd, to rinse. + +Syne, since, ago. + + +Tailzie, a bond of entail. + +Tane, the one. + +Tappet-hen, a large measure of claret holding three magnums or Scots +pints. + +Tauld, told. + +Taupie, tawpie, an awkward girl, a tomboy. + +Thae, these, those. + +Thrawn, thwarted or twisted. + +Threepit, averred, persisted. + +Till't, to it. + +Tither, the other. + +Toom, empty. + +Topping, excellent. + +Trankums, flimsy ornaments, laces, &c. + +Trewed, believed. + +Twa, two. + +Twal, twelve. + + +Unco, very, particular, uncommon. + + +Vilipend, to slight, to undervalue. + + +Wad, would. + +Wadna, would not. + +Wae, woful, sad. + +Walth, wealth. + +Wame-fou, bellyful. + +"Wan to," reached. + +Warld, world. + +Waur, worse. + +Weel, well. + +Weird, destiny. + +Wha, who. + +"What for no?" why not? + +Wheen, a few. + +Whiles, sometimes. + +Whilk, which. + +Whully-whaing, flattery. + +Wi', with. + +Winna, will not. + +Wud, mad. "Ance wud and aye waur," increasing in insanity--applied to +one who, being in a passion, still waxes more furious. + +Wull, will. + +Wuss, wish. + + +Yanking, smart, active. + +Yont, beyond. + + + + +ST. RONAN'S WELL. + + + A merry place, 'tis said, in days of yore; + But something ails it now,--the place is cursed. + +WORDSWORTH. + + + + +ST. RONAN'S WELL. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THEATRICALS. + + ----The play's the thing. + +_Hamlet._ + + +The important day had now arrived, the arrangement for which had for +some time occupied all the conversation and thoughts of the good company +at the Well of St. Ronan's. To give it, at the same time, a degree of +novelty and consequence, Lady Penelope Penfeather had long since +suggested to Mr. Mowbray, that the more gifted and accomplished part of +the guests might contribute to furnish out entertainment for the rest, +by acting a few scenes of some popular drama; an accomplishment in which +her self-conceit assured her that she was peculiarly qualified to excel. +Mr. Mowbray, who seemed on this occasion to have thrown the reins +entirely into her ladyship's hands, made no objection to the plan which +she proposed, excepting that the old-fashioned hedges and walks of the +garden at Shaws-Castle must necessarily serve for stage and scenery, as +there was no time to fit up the old hall for the exhibition of the +proposed theatricals.[II-1] But upon enquiry among the company, this plan +was wrecked upon the ordinary shelve, to wit, the difficulty of finding +performers who would consent to assume the lower characters of the +drama. For the first parts there were candidates more than enough; but +most of these were greatly too high-spirited to play the fool, except +they were permitted to top the part. Then amongst the few unambitious +underlings, who could be coaxed or cajoled to undertake subordinate +characters, there were so many bad memories, and short memories, and +treacherous memories, that at length the plan was resigned in despair. + +A substitute, proposed by Lady Penelope, was next considered. It was +proposed to act what the Italians call a Comedy of Character; that is, +not an exact drama, in which the actors deliver what is set down for +them by the author; but one, in which the plot having been previously +fixed upon, and a few striking scenes adjusted, the actors are expected +to supply the dialogue extempore, or, as Petruchio says, from their +mother wit. This is an amusement which affords much entertainment in +Italy, particularly in the state of Venice, where the characters of +their drama have been long since all previously fixed, and are handed +down by tradition; and this species of drama, though rather belonging to +the mask than the theatre, is distinguished by the name of Commedia +dell' Arte.[II-2] But the shamefaced character of Britons is still more +alien from a species of display, where there is a constant and +extemporaneous demand for wit, or the sort of ready small-talk which +supplies its place, than from the regular exhibitions of the drama, +where the author, standing responsible for language and sentiment, +leaves to the personators of the scenes only the trouble of finding +enunciation and action. + +But the ardent and active spirit of Lady Penelope, still athirst after +novelty, though baffled in her two first projects, brought forward a +third, in which she was more successful. This was the proposal to +combine a certain number, at least, of the guests, properly dressed for +the occasion, as representing some well-known historical or dramatic +characters, in a group, having reference to history, or to a scene of +the drama. In this representation, which may be called playing a +picture, action, even pantomimical action, was not expected; and all +that was required of the performers, was to throw themselves into such a +group as might express a marked and striking point of an easily +remembered scene, but where the actors are at a pause, and without +either speech or motion. In this species of representation there was no +tax, either on the invention or memory of those who might undertake +parts; and, what recommended it still farther to the good company, there +was no marked difference betwixt the hero and heroine of the group, and +the less distinguished characters by whom they were attended on the +stage; and every one who had confidence in a handsome shape and a +becoming dress, might hope, though standing in not quite so broad and +favourable a light as the principal personages, to draw, nevertheless, a +considerable portion of attention and applause. This motion, therefore, +that the company, or such of them as might choose to appear properly +dressed for the occasion, should form themselves into one or more +groups, which might be renewed and varied as often as they pleased, was +hailed and accepted as a bright idea, which assigned to every one a +share of the importance attached to its probable success. + +Mowbray, on his side, promised to contrive some arrangement which should +separate the actors in this mute drama from the spectators, and enable +the former to vary the amusement, by withdrawing themselves from the +scene, and again appearing upon it under a different and new +combination. This plan of exhibition, where fine clothes and affected +attitudes supplied all draughts upon fancy or talent, was highly +agreeable to most of the ladies present; and even Lady Binks, whose +discontent seemed proof against every effort that could be proposed to +soothe it, acquiesced in the project, with perfect indifference indeed, +but with something less of sullenness than usual. + +It now only remained to rummage the circulating library, for some piece +of sufficient celebrity to command attention, and which should be at the +same time suited to the execution of their project. Bell's British +Theatre, Miller's Modern and Ancient Drama, and about twenty odd +volumes, in which stray tragedies and comedies were associated, like the +passengers in a mail-coach, without the least attempt at selection or +arrangement, were all examined in the course of their researches. But +Lady Penelope declared loftily and decidedly for Shakspeare, as the +author whose immortal works were fresh in every one's recollection. +Shakspeare was therefore chosen, and from his works the Midsummer +Night's Dream was selected, as the play which afforded the greatest +variety of characters, and most scope of course for the intended +representation. An active competition presently occurred among the +greater part of the company, for such copies of the Midsummer Night's +Dream, or the volume of Shakspeare containing it, as could be got in the +neighbourhood; for, notwithstanding Lady Penelope's declaration, that +every one who could read had Shakspeare's plays by heart, it appeared +that such of his dramas as have not kept possession of the stage, were +very little known at St. Ronan's, save among those people who are +emphatically called readers. + +The adjustment of the parts was the first subject of consideration, so +soon as those who intended to assume characters had refreshed their +recollection on the subject of the piece. Theseus was unanimously +assigned to Mowbray, the giver of the entertainment, and therefore +justly entitled to represent the Duke of Athens. The costume of an +Amazonian crest and plume, a tucked-up vest, and a tight buskin of +sky-blue silk, buckled with diamonds, reconciled Lady Binks to the part +of Hippolyta. The superior stature of Miss Mowbray to Lady Penelope, +made it necessary that the former should perform the part of Helena, and +her ladyship rest contented with the shrewish character of Hermia. It +was resolved to compliment the young Earl of Etherington with the part +of Lysander, which, however, his lordship declined, and, preferring +comedy to tragedy, refused to appear in any other character than that of +the magnanimous Bottom; and he gave them such a humorous specimen of his +quality in that part, that all were delighted at once with his +condescension in assuming, and his skill in performing, the presenter of +Pyramus. + +The part of Egeus was voted to Captain MacTurk, whose obstinacy in +refusing to appear in any other than the full Highland garb, had nearly +disconcerted the whole affair. At length this obstacle was got over, on +the authority of Childe Harold, who remarks the similarity betwixt the +Highland and Grecian costume,[II-3] and the company, dispensing with the +difference of colour, voted the Captain's variegated kilt, of the +MacTurk tartan, to be the kirtle of a Grecian mountaineer,--Egeus to be +an Arnout, and the Captain to be Egeus. Chatterly and the painter, +walking gentlemen by profession, agreed to walk through the parts of +Demetrius and Lysander, the two Athenian lovers; and Mr. Winterblossom, +loath and lazy, after many excuses, was bribed by Lady Penelope with an +antique, or supposed antique cameo, to play the part of Philostratus, +master of the revels, provided his gout would permit him to remain so +long upon the turf, which was to be their stage. + +Muslin trowsers, adorned with spangles, a voluminous turban of silver +gauze, and wings of the same, together with an embroidered slipper, +converted at once Miss Digges into Oberon, the King of Shadows, whose +sovereign gravity, however, was somewhat indifferently represented by +the silly gaiety of Miss in her Teens, and the uncontrolled delight +which she felt in her fine clothes. A younger sister represented +Titania; and two or three subordinate elves were selected, among +families attending the salutiferous fountain, who were easily persuaded +to let their children figure in fine clothes at so juvenile an age, +though they shook their head at Miss Digges and her pantaloons, and no +less at the liberal display of Lady Binks's right leg, with which the +Amazonian garb gratified the public of St. Ronan's. + +Dr. Quackleben was applied to to play Wall, by the assistance of such a +wooden horse, or screen, as clothes are usually dried upon; the old +Attorney stood for Lion; and the other characters of Bottom's drama were +easily found among the unnamed frequenters of the Spring. Dressed +rehearsals, and so forth, went merrily on--all voted there was a play +fitted. + +But even the Doctor's eloquence could not press Mrs. Blower into the +scheme, although she was particularly wanted to represent Thisbe. + +"Truth is," she replied, "I dinna greatly like stage-plays. John Blower, +honest man, as sailors are aye for some spree or another, wad take me +ance to see ane Mrs. Siddons--I thought we should hae been crushed to +death before we gat in--a' my things riven aff my back, forby the four +lily-white shillings that it cost us--and then in came three frightsome +carlines wi' besoms, and they wad bewitch a sailor's wife--I was lang +eneugh there--and out I wad be, and out John Blower gat me, but wi' nae +sma' fight and fend.--My Lady Penelope Penfitter, and the great folk, +may just take it as they like; but in my mind, Dr. Cacklehen, it's a +mere blasphemy for folk to gar themselves look otherwise than their +Maker made them; and then the changing the name which was given them at +baptism, is, I think, an awful falling away from our vows; and though +Thisby, which I take to be Greek for Tibbie, may be a very good name, +yet Margaret was I christened, and Margaret will I die." + +"You mistake the matter entirely, my dear Mrs. Blower," said the Doctor; +"there is nothing serious intended--a mere _placebo_--just a +divertisement to cheer the spirits, and assist the effect of the +waters--cheerfulness is a great promoter of health." + +"Dinna tell me o' health, Dr. Kittlepin!--Can it be for the puir body +M'Durk's health to major about in the tartans like a tobacconist's sign +in a frosty morning, wi' his poor wizzened houghs as blue as a +blawort?--weel I wot he is a humbling spectacle. Or can it gie ony body +health or pleasure either to see your ainsell, Doctor, ganging about wi' +a claise screen tied to your back, covered wi' paper, and painted like a +stane and lime wa'?--I'll gang to see nane o' their vanities, Dr. +Kittlehen; and if there is nae other decent body to take care o' me, as +I dinna like to sit a haill afternoon by mysell, I'll e'en gae doun to +Mr. Sowerbrowst the maltster's--he is a pleasant, sensible man, and a +sponsible man in the world, and his sister's a very decent woman." + +"Confound Sowerbrowst," thought the Doctor; "if I had guessed he was to +come across me thus, he should not have got the better of his dyspepsy +so early.--My dear Mrs. Blower," he continued, but aloud, "it is a +foolish affair enough, I must confess; but every person of style and +fashion at the Well has settled to attend this exhibition; there has +been nothing else talked of for this month through the whole country, +and it will be a year before it is forgotten. And I would have you +consider how ill it will look, my dear Mrs. Blower, to stay away--nobody +will believe you had a card--no, not though you were to hang it round +your neck like a label round a vial of tincture, Mrs. Blower." + +"If ye thought _that_, Doctor Kickherben," said the widow, alarmed at +the idea of losing caste, "I wad e'en gang to the show, like other folk; +sinful and shameful if it be, let them that make the sin bear the shame. +But then I will put on nane of their Popish disguises--me that has lived +in North Leith, baith wife and lass, for I shanna say how mony years, +and has a character to keep up baith with saint and sinner.--And then, +wha's to take care of me, since you are gaun to make a lime-and-stane +wa' of yoursell, Dr. Kickinben?" + +"My dear Mrs. Blower, if such is your determination, I will not make a +wall of myself. Her ladyship must consider my profession--she must +understand it is my function to look after my patients, in preference to +all the stage-plays in this world--and to attend on a case like yours, +Mrs. Blower, it is my duty to sacrifice, were it called for, the whole +drama from Shakspeare to O'Keefe." + +On hearing this magnanimous resolution, the widow's heart was greatly +cheered; for, in fact, she might probably have considered the Doctor's +perseverance in the plan, of which she had expressed such high +disapprobation, as little less than a symptom of absolute defection from +his allegiance. By an accommodation, therefore, which suited both +parties, it was settled that the Doctor should attend his loving widow +to Shaws-Castle, without mask or mantle; and that the painted screen +should be transferred from Quackleben's back to the broad shoulders of a +briefless barrister, well qualified for the part of Wall, since the +composition of his skull might have rivalled in solidity the mortar and +stone of the most approved builder. + +We must not pause to dilate upon the various labours of body and spirit +which preceded the intervening space, betwixt the settlement of this gay +scheme, and the time appointed to carry it into execution. We will not +attempt to describe how the wealthy, by letter and by commissioners, +urged their researches through the stores of the Gallery of Fashion for +specimens of Oriental finery--how they that were scant of diamonds +supplied their place with paste and Bristol stones--how the country +dealers were driven out of patience by the demand for goods of which +they had never before heard the name--and, lastly, how the busy fingers +of the more economical damsels twisted handkerchiefs into turbans, and +converted petticoats into pantaloons, shaped and sewed, cut and clipped, +and spoiled many a decent gown and petticoat, to produce something like +a Grecian habit. Who can describe the wonders wrought by active needles +and scissors, aided by thimbles and thread, upon silver gauze, and +sprigged muslin? or who can show how, if the fair nymphs of the Spring +did not entirely succeed in attaining the desired resemblance to +heathen Greeks, they at least contrived to get rid of all similitude to +sober Christians? + +Neither is it necessary to dwell upon the various schemes of conveyance +which were resorted to, in order to transfer the beau monde of the Spa +to the scene of revelry at Shaws-Castle. These were as various as the +fortunes and pretensions of the owners; from the lordly curricle, with +its outriders, to the humble taxed cart, nay, untaxed cart, which +conveyed the personages of lesser rank. For the latter, indeed, the two +post-chaises at the Inn seemed converted into hourly stages, so often +did they come and go between the Hotel and the Castle--a glad day for +the postilions, and a day of martyrdom for the poor post-horses; so +seldom is it that every department of any society, however constituted, +can be injured or benefited by the same occurrence. + +Such, indeed, was the penury of vehicular conveyance, that applications +were made in manner most humble, even to Meg Dods herself, entreating +she would permit her old whiskey to _ply_ (for such might have been the +phrase) at St. Ronan's Well, for that day only, and that upon good cause +shown. But not for sordid lucre would the undaunted spirit of Meg +compound her feud with her neighbours of the detested Well. "Her +carriage," she briefly replied, "was engaged for her ain guest and the +minister, and deil anither body's fit should gang intill't. Let every +herring hing by its ain head." And, accordingly, at the duly appointed +hour, creaked forth, the leathern convenience, in which, carefully +screened by the curtain from the gaze of the fry of the village, sat +Nabob Touchwood, in the costume of an Indian merchant, or Shroff, as +they are termed. The clergyman would not, perhaps, have been so +punctual, had not a set of notes and messages from his friend at the +Cleikum, ever following each other as thick as the papers which decorate +the tail of a schoolboy's kite, kept him so continually on the alert +from daybreak till noon, that Mr. Touchwood found him completely +dressed; and the whiskey was only delayed for about ten minutes before +the door of the manse, a space employed by Mr. Cargill in searching for +the spectacles, which at last were happily discovered upon his own nose. + +At length, seated by the side of his new friend, Mr. Cargill arrived +safe at Shaws-Castle, the gate of which mansion was surrounded by a +screaming group of children, so extravagantly delighted at seeing the +strange figures to whom each successive carriage gave birth, that even +the stern brow and well-known voice of Johnie Tirlsneck, the beadle, +though stationed in the court on express purpose, was not equal to the +task of controlling them. These noisy intruders, however, who, it was +believed, were somewhat favoured by Clara Mowbray, were excluded from +the court which opened before the house, by a couple of grooms or +helpers armed with their whips, and could only salute, with their shrill +and wondering hailing, the various personages, as they passed down a +short avenue leading from the exterior gate. + +The Cleikum nabob and the minister were greeted with shouts not the +least clamorous; which the former merited by the ease with which he wore +the white turban, and the latter, by the infrequency of his appearance +in public, and both, by the singular association of a decent clergyman +of the church of Scotland, in a dress more old-fashioned than could now +be produced in the General Assembly, walking arm in arm, and seemingly +in the most familiar terms, with a Parsee merchant. They stopped a +moment at the gate of the court-yard to admire the front of the old +mansion, which had been disturbed with so unusual a scene of gaiety. + +Shaws-Castle, though so named, presented no appearance of defence; and +the present edifice had never been designed for more than the +accommodation of a peaceful family, having a low, heavy front, loaded +with some of that meretricious ornament, which, uniting, or rather +confounding, the Gothic and Grecian architecture, was much used during +the reigns of James VI. of Scotland, and his unfortunate son. The court +formed a small square, two sides of which were occupied by such +buildings as were required for the family, and the third by the stables, +the only part to which much attention had been paid, the present Mr. +Mowbray having put them into excellent order. The fourth side of the +square was shut up by a screen wall, through which a door opened to the +avenue; the whole being a kind of structure, which may be still found on +those old Scottish properties, where a rage to render their place +_Parkish_, as was at one time the prevailing phrase, has not induced the +owners to pull down the venerable and sheltering appendages with which +their wiser fathers had screened their mansion, and to lay the whole +open to the keen north-east; much after the fashion of a spinster of +fifty, who chills herself to gratify the public by an exposure of her +thin red elbows, and shrivelled neck and bosom. + +A double door, thrown hospitably open on the present occasion, admitted +the company into a dark and low hall, where Mowbray himself, wearing +the under dress of Theseus, but not having yet assumed his ducal cap and +robes, stood to receive his guests with due courtesy, and to indicate to +each the road allotted to him. Those who were to take a share in the +representation of the morning, were conducted to an old saloon, destined +for a green-room, and which communicated with a series of apartments on +the right, hastily fitted with accommodations for arranging and +completing their toilet; while others, who took no part in the intended +drama, were ushered to the left, into a large, unfurnished, and long +disused dining parlour, where a sashed door opened into the gardens, +crossed with yew and holly hedges, still trimmed and clipped by the old +grey-headed gardener, upon those principles which a Dutchman thought +worthy of commemorating in a didactic poem upon the _Ars Topiaria_. + +A little wilderness, surrounding a beautiful piece of the smoothest +turf, and itself bounded by such high hedges as we have described, had +been selected as the stage most proper for the exhibition of the +intended dramatic picture. It afforded many facilities; for a rising +bank exactly in front was accommodated with seats for the spectators, +who had a complete view of the silvan theatre, the bushes and shrubs +having been cleared away, and the place supplied with a temporary +screen, which, being withdrawn by the domestics appointed for that +purpose, was to serve for the rising of the curtain. A covered trellis, +which passed through another part of the garden, and terminated with a +private door opening from the right wing of the building, seemed as if +it had been planted on purpose for the proposed exhibition, as it served +to give the personages of the drama a convenient and secret access from +the green-room to the place of representation. Indeed, the dramatis +personae, at least those who adopted the management of the matter, were +induced, by so much convenience, to extend, in some measure, their +original plan; and, instead of one group, as had been at first proposed, +they now found themselves able to exhibit to the good company a +succession of three or four, selected and arranged from different parts +of the drama; thus giving some duration, as well as some variety, to the +entertainment, besides the advantage of separating and contrasting the +tragic and the comic scenes. + +After wandering about amongst the gardens, which contained little to +interest any one, and endeavouring to recognise some characters, who, +accommodating themselves to the humours of the day, had ventured to +appear in the various disguises of ballad-singers, pedlars, shepherds, +Highlanders, and so forth, the company began to draw together towards +the spot where the seats prepared for them, and the screen drawn in +front of the bosky stage, induced them to assemble, and excited +expectation, especially as a scroll in front of the esplanade set forth, +in the words of the play, "This green plot shall be our stage, this +hawthorn brake our tiring-house, and we will do it in action." A delay +of about ten minutes began to excite some suppressed murmurs of +impatience among the audience, when the touch of Gow's fiddle suddenly +burst from a neighbouring hedge, behind which he had established his +little orchestra. All were of course silent, + + "As through his dear strathspeys he bore with Highland rage." + +And when he changed his strain to an adagio, and suffered his music to +die away in the plaintive notes of Roslin Castle, the echoes of the old +walls were, after a long slumber, awakened by that enthusiastic burst of +applause, with which the Scots usually received and rewarded their +country's gifted minstrel. + +"He is his father's own son," said Touchwood to the clergyman, for both +had gotten seats near about the centre of the place of audience. "It is +many a long year since I listened to old Neil at Inver, and, to say +truth, spent a night with him over pancakes and Athole brose; and I +never expected to hear his match again in my lifetime. But stop--the +curtain rises." + +The screen was indeed withdrawn, and displayed Hermia, Helena, and their +lovers, in attitudes corresponding to the scene of confusion occasioned +by the error of Puck. + +Messrs. Chatterly and the Painter played their parts neither better nor +worse than amateur actors in general; and the best that could be said of +them was, that they seemed more than half ashamed of their exotic +dresses, and of the public gaze. + +But against this untimely weakness Lady Penelope was guarded, by the +strong shield of self-conceit. She minced, ambled, and, notwithstanding +the slight appearance of her person, and the depredations which time had +made on a countenance that had never been very much distinguished for +beauty, seemed desirous to top the part of the beautiful daughter of +Egeus. The sullenness which was proper to the character of Hermia, was +much augmented by the discovery that Miss Mowbray was so much better +dressed than herself,--a discovery which she had but recently made, as +that young lady had not attended on the regular rehearsals at the Well, +but once, and then without her stage habit. Her ladyship, however, did +not permit this painful sense of inferiority, where she had expected +triumph, so far to prevail over her desire of shining, as to interrupt +materially the manner in which she had settled to represent her portion +of the scene. The nature of the exhibition precluded much action, but +Lady Penelope made amends by such a succession of grimaces, as might +rival, in variety at least, the singular display which Garrick used to +call "going his rounds." She twisted her poor features into looks of +most desperate love towards Lysander; into those of wonder and offended +pride, when she turned them upon Demetrius; and finally settled them on +Helena, with the happiest possible imitation of an incensed rival, who +feels the impossibility of relieving her swollen heart by tears alone, +and is just about to have recourse to her nails. + +No contrast could be stronger in looks, demeanour, and figure, than that +between Hermia and Helena. In the latter character, the beautiful form +and foreign dress of Miss Mowbray attracted all eyes. She kept her place +on the stage, as a sentinel does that which his charge assigns him; for +she had previously told her brother, that though she consented, at his +importunity, to make part of the exhibition, it was as a piece of the +scene, not as an actor, and accordingly a painted figure could scarce be +more immovable. The expression of her countenance seemed to be that of +deep sorrow and perplexity, belonging to her part, over which wandered +at times an air of irony or ridicule, as if she were secretly scorning +the whole exhibition, and even herself for condescending to become part +of it. Above all, a sense of bashfulness had cast upon her cheek a +colour, which, though sufficiently slight, was more than her countenance +was used to display; and when the spectators beheld, in the splendour +and grace of a rich Oriental dress, her whom they had hitherto been +accustomed to see attired only in the most careless manner, they felt +the additional charms of surprise and contrast; so that the bursts of +applause which were vollied towards the stage, might be said to be +addressed to her alone, and to vie in sincerity with those which have +been forced from an audience by the most accomplished performer. + +"Oh, that puir Lady Penelope!" said honest Mrs. Blower, who, when her +scruples against the exhibition were once got over, began to look upon +it with particular interest,--"I am really sorry for her puir face, for +she gars it work like the sails of John Blower's vesshel in a stiff +breeze.--Oh, Doctor Cacklehen, dinna ye think she wad need, if it were +possible, to rin ower her face wi' a gusing iron, just to take the +wrunkles out o't?" + +"Hush, hush! my good dear Mrs. Blower," said the Doctor; "Lady Penelope +is a woman of quality, and my patient, and such people always act +charmingly--you must understand there is no hissing at a private +theatre--Hem!" + +"Ye may say what ye like, Doctor, but there is nae fule like an auld +fule--To be sure, if she was as young and beautiful as Miss +Mowbray--hegh me, and I didna use to think her sae bonny neither--but +dress--dress makes an unco difference--That shawl o' hers--I daur say +the like o't was ne'er seen in braid Scotland--It will be real Indian, +I'se warrant." + +"Real Indian!" said Mr. Touchwood, in an accent of disdain, which rather +disturbed Mrs. Blower's equanimity,--"why, what do you suppose it should +be, madam?" + +"I dinna ken, sir," said she, edging somewhat nearer the Doctor, not +being altogether pleased, as she afterwards allowed, with the outlandish +appearance and sharp tone of the traveller; then pulling her own drapery +round her shoulders, she added, courageously, "There are braw shawls +made at Paisley, that ye will scarce ken frae foreign." + +"Not know Paisley shawls from Indian, madam?" said Touchwood; "why, a +blind man could tell by the slightest touch of his little finger. Yon +shawl, now, is the handsomest I have seen in Britain--and at this +distance I can tell it to be a real _Tozie_." + +"Cozie may she weel be that wears it," said Mrs. Blower. "I declare, now +I look on't again, it's a perfect beauty." + +"It is called Tozie, ma'am, not cozie," continued the traveller; "the +Shroffs at Surat told me in 1801, that it is made out of the inner coat +of a goat." + +"Of a sheep, sir, I am thinking ye mean, for goats has nae woo'." + +"Not much of it, indeed, madam, but you are to understand they use only +the inmost coat; and then their dyes--that Tozie now will keep its +colour while there is a rag of it left--men bequeath them in legacies to +their grandchildren." + +"And a very bonny colour it is," said the dame; "something like a +mouse's back, only a thought redder--I wonder what they ca' that +colour." + +"The colour is much admired, madam," said Touchwood, who was now on a +favourite topic; "the Mussulmans say the colour is betwixt that of an +elephant and the breast of the _faughta_." + +"In troth, I am as wise as I was," said Mrs. Blower. + +"The _faughta_, madam, so called by the Moors, (for the Hindhus call it +_hollah_,) is a sort of pigeon, held sacred among the Moslem of India, +because they think it dyed its breast in the blood of Ali.--But I see +they are closing the scene.--Mr. Cargill, are you composing your sermon, +my good friend, or what can you be thinking of?" + +Mr. Cargill had, during the whole scene, remained with his eyes fixed, +in intent and anxious, although almost unconscious gaze, upon Clara +Mowbray; and when the voice of his companion startled him out of his +reverie, he exclaimed, "Most lovely--most unhappy--yes--I must and will +see her!" + +"See her?" replied Touchwood, too much accustomed to his friend's +singularities to look for much reason or connexion in any thing he said +or did; "Why, you shall see her and talk to her too, if that will give +you pleasure.--They say now," he continued, lowering his voice to a +whisper, "that this Mowbray is ruined. I see nothing like it, since he +can dress out his sister like a Begum. Did you ever see such a splendid +shawl?" + +"Dearly purchased splendour," said Mr. Cargill, with a deep sigh; "I +wish that the price be yet fully paid!" + +"Very likely not," said the traveller; "very likely it's gone to the +book; and for the price, I have known a thousand rupees given for such a +shawl in the country.--But hush, hush, we are to have another tune from +Nathaniel--faith, and they are withdrawing the screen--Well, they have +some mercy--they do not let us wait long between the acts of their +follies at least--I love a quick and rattling fire in these +vanities--Folly walking a funeral pace, and clinking her bells to the +time of a passing knell, makes sad work indeed." + +A strain of music, beginning slowly, and terminating in a light and wild +allegro, introduced on the stage those delightful creatures of the +richest imagination that ever teemed with wonders, the Oberon and +Titania of Shakspeare. The pigmy majesty of the captain of the fairy +band had no unapt representative in Miss Digges, whose modesty was not +so great an intruder as to prevent her desire to present him in all his +dignity, and she moved, conscious of the graceful turn of a pretty +ankle, which, encircled with a string of pearls, and clothed in +flesh-coloured silk, of the most cobweb texture, rose above the crimson +sandal. Her jewelled tiara, too, gave dignity to the frown with which +the offended King of Shadows greeted his consort, as each entered upon +the scene at the head of their several attendants. + +The restlessness of the children had been duly considered; and, +therefore, their part of the exhibition had been contrived to represent +dumb show, rather than a stationary picture. The little Queen of Elves +was not inferior in action to her moody lord, and repaid, with a look of +female impatience and scorn, the haughty air which seemed to express his +sullen greeting, + + "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania." + +The other children were, as usual, some clever and forward, some loutish +and awkward enough; but the gambols of childhood are sure to receive +applause, paid, perhaps, with a mixture of pity and envy, by those in +advanced life; and besides, there were in the company several fond papas +and mammas, whose clamorous approbation, though given apparently to the +whole performers, was especially dedicated in their hearts to their own +little Jackies and Marias,--for _Mary_, though the prettiest and most +classical of Scottish names, is now unknown in the land. The elves, +therefore, played their frolics, danced a measure, and vanished with +good approbation. + +The anti-mask, as it may be called, of Bottom, and his company of +actors, next appeared on the stage, and a thunder of applause received +the young Earl, who had, with infinite taste and dexterity, transformed +himself into the similitude of an Athenian clown; observing the Grecian +costume, yet so judiciously discriminated from the dress of the higher +characters, as at once to fix the character of a thick-skinned mechanic +on the wearer. Touchwood, in particular, was loud in his approbation, +from which the correctness of the costume must be inferred; for that +honest gentleman, like many other critics, was indeed not very much +distinguished for good taste, but had a capital memory for petty matters +of fact; and, while the most impressive look or gesture of an actor +might have failed to interest him, would have censured most severely the +fashion of a sleeve, or the colour of a shoe-tie. + +But the Earl of Etherington's merits were not confined to his external +appearance; for, had his better fortunes failed him, his deserts, like +those of Hamlet, might have got him a fellowship in a cry of players. He +presented, though in dumb show, the pragmatic conceit of Bottom, to the +infinite amusement of all present, especially of those who were well +acquainted with the original; and when he was "translated" by Puck, he +bore the ass's head, his newly-acquired dignity, with an appearance of +conscious greatness, which made the metamorphosis, though in itself +sufficiently farcical, irresistibly comic. He afterwards displayed the +same humour in his frolics with the fairies, and the intercourse which +he held with Messrs. Cobweb, Mustard-seed, Pease-blossom, and the rest +of Titania's cavaliers, who lost all command of their countenances at +the gravity with which he invited them to afford him the luxury of +scratching his hairy snout. Mowbray had also found a fitting +representative for Puck in a queer-looking, small-eyed boy of the +Aultoun of St. Ronan's, with large ears projecting from his head like +turrets from a Gothic building. This exotic animal personified the merry +and mocking spirit of Hobgoblin with considerable power, so that the +group bore some resemblance to the well-known and exquisite delineation +of Puck by Sir Joshua, in the select collection of the Bard of Memory. +It was, however, the ruin of the St. Ronan's Robin Goodfellow, who did +no good afterwards,--"gaed an ill gate," as Meg Dods said, and "took on" +with a party of strolling players. + +The entertainment closed with a grand parade of all the characters that +had appeared, during which Mowbray concluded that the young lord +himself, unremarked, might have time enough to examine the outward form, +at least, of his sister Clara, whom, in the pride of his heart, he could +not help considering superior in beauty, dressed as she now was, with +every advantage of art, even to the brilliant Amazon, Lady Binks. It is +true, Mowbray was not a man to give preference to the intellectual +expression of poor Clara's features over the sultana-like beauty of the +haughty dame, which promised to an admirer all the vicissitudes that can +be expressed by a countenance lovely in every change, and changing as +often as an ardent and impetuous disposition, unused to constraint, and +despising admonition, should please to dictate. Yet, to do him justice, +though his preference was perhaps dictated more by fraternal partiality +than by purity of taste, he certainly, on the present occasion, felt the +full extent of Clara's superiority; and there was a proud smile on his +lip, as, at the conclusion of the divertisement, he asked the Earl how +he had been pleased. The rest of the performers had separated, and the +young lord remained on the stage, employed in disembarrassing himself of +his awkward visor, when Mowbray put this question, to which, though +general in terms, he naturally gave a particular meaning. + +"I could wear my ass's head for ever," he said, "on condition my eyes +were to be so delightfully employed as they have been during the last +scene.--Mowbray, your sister is an angel!" + +"Have a care that that headpiece of yours has not perverted your taste, +my lord," said Mowbray. "But why did you wear that disguise on your last +appearance? You should, I think, have been uncovered." + +"I am ashamed to answer you," said the Earl; "but truth is, first +impressions are of consequence, and I thought I might do as wisely not +to appear before your sister, for the first time, in the character of +Bully Bottom." + +"Then you change your dress, my lord, for dinner, if we call our +luncheon by that name?" said Mowbray. + +"I am going to my room this instant for that very purpose," replied the +Earl. + +"And I," said Mowbray, "must step in front, and dismiss the audience; +for I see they are sitting gaping there, waiting for another scene." + +They parted upon this; and Mowbray, as Duke Theseus, stepped before the +screen, and announcing the conclusion of the dramatic pictures which +they had had the honour to present before the worshipful company, +thanked the spectators for the very favourable reception which they had +afforded; and intimated to them, that if they could amuse themselves by +strolling for an hour among the gardens, a bell would summon to the +house at the expiry of that time, when some refreshments would wait +their acceptance. This annunciation was received with the applause due +to the _Amphitryon ou l'on dine_; and the guests, arising from before +the temporary theatre, dispersed through the gardens, which were of some +extent, to seek for or create amusement to themselves. The music greatly +aided them in this last purpose, and it was not long ere a dozen of +couples and upwards, were "tripping it on the light fantastic toe," (I +love a phrase that is not hackneyed,) to the tune of Monymusk. + +Others strolled through the grounds, meeting some quaint disguise at the +end of every verdant alley, and communicating to others the surprise and +amusement which they themselves were receiving. The scene, from the +variety of dresses, the freedom which it gave to the display of humour +amongst such as possessed any, and the general disposition to give and +receive pleasure, rendered the little masquerade more entertaining than +others of the kind for which more ample and magnificent preparations +have been made. There was also a singular and pleasing contrast between +the fantastic figures who wandered through the gardens, and the quiet +scene itself, to which the old clipt hedges, the formal distribution of +the ground, and the antiquated appearance of one or two fountains and +artificial cascades, in which the naiads had been for the nonce +compelled to resume their ancient frolics, gave an appearance of unusual +simplicity and seclusion, and which seemed rather to belong to the last +than to the present generation. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[II-1] At Kilruddery, the noble seat of Lord Meath, in the county of +Wicklow, there is a situation for private theatrical exhibitions in the +open air, planted out with the evergreens which arise there in the most +luxuriant magnificence. It has a wild and romantic effect, reminding one +of the scene in which Bottom rehearsed his pageant, with a green plot +for a stage, and a hawthorn brake for a tiringroom. + +[II-2] See Mr. William Stewart Rose's very interesting Letters from the +North of Italy, Vol. I. Letter XXX., where this curious subject is +treated with the information and precision which distinguish that +accomplished author. + +[II-3] "The Arnaouts or Albanese," (says Lord Byron,) "struck me forcibly +by their resemblance to the Highlanders of Scotland, in dress, figure, +and manner of living. Their very mountains seem Caledonian, with a +kinder climate. The kilt, though white; the spare, active form; their +dialect Celtic, in the sound, and their hardy habits, all carried me +back to Morven."--_Notes to the Second Chapter of Childe Harold's +Pilgrimage._ + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +PERPLEXITIES. + + For revels, dances, masks, and merry hours, + Fore-run fair Love, strewing his way with flowers. + +_Love's Labour's Lost._ + + Worthies, away--the scene begins to cloud. + +_Ibidem._ + + +Mr. Touchwood, and his inseparable friend, Mr. Cargill, wandered on +amidst the gay groups we have described, the former censuring with great +scorn the frequent attempts which he observed towards an imitation of +the costume of the East, and appealing with self-complacence to his own +superior representation, as he greeted, in Moorish and in Persic, the +several turban'd figures who passed his way; while the clergyman, whose +mind seemed to labour with some weighty and important project, looked in +every direction for the fair representative of Helena, but in vain. At +length he caught a glimpse of the memorable shawl, which had drawn forth +so learned a discussion from his companion; and, starting from +Touchwood's side with a degree of anxious alertness totally foreign to +his usual habits, he endeavoured to join the person by whom it was worn. + +"By the Lord," said his companion, "the Doctor is beside himself!--the +parson is mad!--the divine is out of his senses, that is clear; and how +the devil can he, who scarce can find his road from the Cleikum to his +own manse, venture himself unprotected into such a scene of +confusion?--he might as well pretend to cross the Atlantic without a +pilot--I must push off in chase of him, lest worse come of it." + +But the traveller was prevented from executing his friendly purpose by a +sort of crowd which came rushing down the alley, the centre of which was +occupied by Captain MacTurk, in the very act of bullying two pseudo +Highlanders, for having presumed to lay aside their breeches before they +had acquired the Gaelic language. The sounds of contempt and insult with +which the genuine Celt was overwhelming the unfortunate impostors, were +not, indeed, intelligible otherwise than from the tone and manner of the +speaker; but these intimated so much displeasure, that the plaided forms +whose unadvised choice of a disguise had provoked it--two raw lads from +a certain great manufacturing town--heartily repented their temerity, +and were in the act of seeking for the speediest exit from the gardens; +rather choosing to resign their share of the dinner, than to abide the +farther consequences that might follow from the displeasure of this +highland Termagant. + +Touchwood had scarcely extricated himself from this impediment, and +again commenced his researches after the clergyman, when his course was +once more interrupted by a sort of pressgang, headed by Sir Bingo Binks, +who, in order to play his character of a drunken boatswain to the life, +seemed certainly drunk enough, however little of a seaman. His cheer +sounded more like a view-hollo than a hail, when, with a volley of such +oaths as would have blown a whole fleet of the Bethel Union out of the +water, he ordered Touchwood "to come under his lee, and be d----d; for, +smash his old timbers, he must go to sea again, for as weather-beaten a +hulk as he was." + +Touchwood answered instantly, "To sea with all my heart, but not with a +land-lubber for commander.--Harkye, brother, do you know how much of a +horse's furniture belongs to a ship?" + +"Come, none of your quizzing, my old buck," said Sir Bingo--"What the +devil has a ship to do with horse's furniture?--Do you think we belong +to the horse-marines?--ha! ha! I think you're matched, brother." + +"Why, you son of a fresh-water gudgeon," replied the traveller, "that +never in your life sailed farther than the Isle of Dogs, do you pretend +to play a sailor, and not know the bridle of the bow-line, and the +saddle of the boltsprit, and the bit for the cable, and the girth to +hoist the rigging, and the whip to serve for small tackle?--There is a +trick for you to find out an Abram-man, and save sixpence when he begs +of you as a disbanded seaman.--Get along with you! or the constable +shall be charged with the whole pressgang to man the workhouse." + +A general laugh arose at the detection of the swaggering boatswain; and +all that the Baronet had for it was to sneak off, saying, "D--n the old +quiz, who the devil thought to have heard so much slang from an old +muslin nightcap!" + +Touchwood being now an object of some attention, was followed by two or +three stragglers, whom he endeavoured to rid himself of the best way he +could, testifying an impatience a little inconsistent with the decorum +of his Oriental demeanour, but which arose from his desire to rejoin his +companion, and some apprehension of inconvenience which he feared +Cargill might sustain during his absence. For, being in fact as +good-natured a man as any in the world, Mr. Touchwood was at the same +time one of the most conceited, and was very apt to suppose, that his +presence, advice, and assistance, were of the most indispensable +consequence to those with whom he lived; and that not only on great +emergencies, but even in the most ordinary occurrences of life. + +Meantime, Mr. Cargill, whom he sought in vain, was, on his part, +anxiously keeping in sight of the beautiful Indian shawl, which served +as a flag to announce to him the vessel which he held in chase. At +length he approached so close as to say, in an anxious whisper, "Miss +Mowbray--Miss Mowbray--I must speak with you." + +"And what would you have with Miss Mowbray?" said the fair wearer of the +beautiful shawl, but without turning round her head. + +"I have a secret--an important secret, of which to make you aware; but +it is not for this place.--Do not turn from me!--Your happiness in this, +and perhaps in the next life, depends on your listening to me." + +The lady led the way, as if to give him an opportunity of speaking with +her more privately, to one of those old-fashioned and deeply-embowered +recesses, which are commonly found in such gardens as that of +Shaws-Castle; and, with her shawl wrapped around her head, so as in some +degree to conceal her features, she stood before Mr. Cargill in the +doubtful light and shadow of a huge platanus tree, which formed the +canopy of the arbour, and seemed to await the communication he had +promised. + +"Report says," said the clergyman, speaking in an eager and hurried +manner, yet with a low voice, and like one desirous of being heard by +her whom he addressed, and by no one else,--"Report says that you are +about to be married." + +"And is report kind enough to say to whom?" answered the lady, with a +tone of indifference which seemed to astound her interrogator. + +"Young lady," he answered, with a solemn voice, "had this levity been +sworn to me, I could never have believed it! Have you forgot the +circumstances in which you stand?--Have you forgotten that my promise of +secrecy, sinful perhaps even in that degree, was but a conditional +promise?--or did you think that a being so sequestered as I am was +already dead to the world, even while he was walking upon its +surface?--Know, young lady, that I am indeed dead to the pleasures and +the ordinary business of life, but I am even therefore the more alive to +its duties." + +"Upon my honour, sir, unless you are pleased to be more explicit, it is +impossible for me either to answer or understand you," said the lady; +"you speak too seriously for a masquerade pleasantry, and yet not +clearly enough to make your earnest comprehensible." + +"Is this sullenness, Miss Mowbray?" said the clergyman, with increased +animation; "Is it levity?--Or is it alienation of mind?--Even after a +fever of the brain, we retain a recollection of the causes of our +illness.--Come, you must and do understand me, when I say, that I will +not consent to your committing a great crime to attain temporal wealth +and rank, no, not to make you an empress. My path is a clear one; and +should I hear a whisper breathed of your alliance with this Earl, or +whatever he may be, rely upon it, that I will withdraw the veil, and +make your brother, your bridegroom, and the whole world, acquainted with +the situation in which you stand, and the impossibility of your forming +the alliance which you propose to yourself, I am compelled to say, +against the laws of God and man." + +"But, sir--sir," answered the lady, rather eagerly than anxiously, "you +have not yet told me what business you have with my marriage, or what +arguments you can bring against it." + +"Madam," replied Mr. Cargill, "in your present state of mind, and in +such a scene as this, I cannot enter upon a topic for which the season +is unfit, and you, I am sorry to say, are totally unprepared. It is +enough that you know the grounds on which you stand. At a fitter +opportunity, I will, as it is my duty, lay before you the enormity of +what you are said to have meditated, with the freedom which becomes one, +who, however humble, is appointed to explain to his fellow-creatures the +laws of his Maker. In the meantime, I am not afraid that you will take +any hasty step, after such a warning as this." + +So saying, he turned from the lady with that dignity which a conscious +discharge of duty confers, yet, at the same time, with a sense of deep +pain, inflicted by the careless levity of her whom he addressed. She did +not any longer attempt to detain him, but made her escape from the +arbour by one alley, as she heard voices which seemed to approach it +from another. The clergyman, who took the opposite direction, met in +full encounter a whispering and tittering pair, who seemed, at his +sudden appearance, to check their tone of familiarity, and assume an +appearance of greater distance towards each other. The lady was no other +than the fair Queen of the Amazons, who seemed to have adopted the +recent partiality of Titania towards Bully Bottom, being in conference +such and so close as we have described, with the late representative of +the Athenian weaver, whom his recent visit to his chamber had +metamorphosed into the more gallant disguise of an ancient Spanish +cavalier. He now appeared with cloak and drooping plume, sword, poniard, +and guitar, richly dressed at all points, as for a serenade beneath his +mistress's window; a silk mask at the breast of his embroidered doublet +hung ready to be assumed in case of intrusion, as an appropriate part of +the national dress. + +It sometimes happened to Mr. Cargill, as we believe it may chance to +other men much subject to absence of mind, that, contrary to their wont, +and much after the manner of a sunbeam suddenly piercing a deep mist, +and illuminating one particular object in the landscape, some sudden +recollection rushes upon them, and seems to compel them to act under it, +as under the influence of complete certainty and conviction. Mr. Cargill +had no sooner set eyes on the Spanish cavalier, in whom he neither knew +the Earl of Etherington, nor recognised Bully Bottom, than with hasty +emotion he seized on his reluctant hand, and exclaimed, with a mixture +of eagerness and solemnity, "I rejoice to see you!--Heaven has sent you +here in its own good time." + +"I thank you, sir," replied Lord Etherington, very coldly, "I believe +you have the joy of the meeting entirely on your side, as I cannot +remember having seen you before." + +"Is not your name Bulmer?" said the clergyman. "I--I know--I am +sometimes apt to make mistakes--But I am sure your name is Bulmer?" + +"Not that ever I or my godfathers heard of--my name was Bottom half an +hour ago--perhaps that makes the confusion," answered the Earl, with +very cold and distant politeness;--"Permit me to pass, sir, that I may +attend the lady." + +"Quite unnecessary," answered Lady Binks; "I leave you to adjust your +mutual recollections with your new old friend, my lord--he seems to have +something to say." So saying, the lady walked on, not perhaps sorry of +an opportunity to show apparent indifference for his lordship's society +in the presence of one who had surprised them in what might seem a +moment of exuberant intimacy. + +"You detain me, sir," said the Earl of Etherington to Mr. Cargill, who, +bewildered and uncertain, still kept himself placed so directly before +the young nobleman, as to make it impossible for him to pass, without +absolutely pushing him to one side. "I must really attend the lady," he +added, making another effort to walk on. + +"Young man," said Mr. Cargill, "you cannot disguise yourself from me. I +am sure--my mind assures me, that you are that very Bulmer whom Heaven +hath sent here to prevent crime." + +"And you," said Lord Etherington, "whom my mind assures me I never saw +in my life, are sent hither by the devil, I think, to create confusion." + +"I beg pardon, sir," said the clergyman, staggered by the calm and +pertinacious denial of the Earl--"I beg pardon if I am in a +mistake--that is, if I am _really_ in a mistake--but I am not--I am +sure I am not!--That look--that smile--I am NOT mistaken. You _are_ +Valentine Bulmer--the very Valentine Bulmer whom I--but I will not make +your private affairs any part of this exposition--enough, you _are_ +Valentine Bulmer." + +"Valentine?--Valentine?" answered Lord Etherington, impatiently,--"I am +neither Valentine nor Orson--I wish you good-morning, sir." + +"Stay, sir, stay, I charge you," said the clergyman; "if you are +unwilling to be known yourself, it may be because you have forgotten who +I am--Let me name myself as the Reverend Josiah Cargill, minister of St. +Ronan's." + +"If you bear a character so venerable, sir," replied the young +nobleman,--"in which, however, I am not in the least interested,--I +think when you make your morning draught a little too potent, it might +be as well for you to stay at home and sleep it off, before coming into +company." + +"In the name of Heaven, young gentleman," said Mr. Cargill, "lay aside +this untimely and unseemly jesting! and tell me if you be not--as I +cannot but still believe you to be--that same youth, who, seven years +since, left in my deposit a solemn secret, which, if I should unfold to +the wrong person, woe would be my own heart, and evil the consequences +which might ensue!" + +"You are very pressing with me, sir," said the Earl; "and, in exchange, +I will be equally frank with you.--I am not the man whom you mistake me +for, and you may go seek him where you will--It will be still more lucky +for you if you chance to find your own wits in the course of your +researches; for I must tell you plainly, I think they are gone somewhat +astray." So saying, with a gesture expressive of a determined purpose to +pass on, Mr. Cargill had no alternative but to make way, and suffer him +to proceed. + +The worthy clergyman stood as if rooted to the ground, and, with his +usual habit of thinking aloud exclaimed to himself, "My fancy has played +me many a bewildering trick, but this is the most extraordinary of them +all!--What can this young man think of me? It must have been my +conversation with that unhappy young lady that has made such an +impression upon me as to deceive my very eyesight, and causes me to +connect with her history the face of the next person that I met--What +_must_ the stranger think of me!" + +"Why, what every one thinks of thee that knows thee, prophet," said the +friendly voice of Touchwood, accompanying his speech with an awakening +slap on the clergyman's shoulder; "and that is, that thou art an +unfortunate philosopher of Laputa, who has lost his flapper in the +throng.--Come along--having me once more by your side, you need fear +nothing. Why, now I look at you closer, you look as if you had seen a +basilisk--not that there is any such thing, otherwise I must have seen +it myself, in the course of my travels--but you seem pale and +frightened--What the devil is the matter?" + +"Nothing," answered the clergyman, "except that I have even this very +moment made an egregious fool of myself." + +"Pooh, pooh, that is nothing to sigh over, prophet.--Every man does so +at least twice in the four-and-twenty hours," said Touchwood. + +"But I had nearly betrayed to a stranger, a secret deeply concerning the +honour of an ancient family." + +"That was wrong, Doctor," said Touchwood; "take care of that in future; +and, indeed, I would advise you not to speak even to your beadle, Johnie +Tirlsneck, until you have assured yourself, by at least three pertinent +questions and answers, that you have the said Johnie corporeally and +substantially in presence before you, and that your fancy has not +invested some stranger with honest Johnie's singed periwig and +threadbare brown joseph--Come along--come along." + +So saying, he hurried forward the perplexed clergyman, who in vain made +all the excuses he could think of in order to effect his escape from the +scene of gaiety, in which he was so unexpectedly involved. He pleaded +headache; and his friend assured him that a mouthful of food, and a +glass of wine, would mend it. He stated he had business; and Touchwood +replied that he could have none but composing his next sermon, and +reminded him that it was two days till Sunday. At length, Mr. Cargill +confessed that he had some reluctance again to see the stranger, on whom +he had endeavoured with such pertinacity to fix an acquaintance, which +he was now well assured existed only in his own imagination. The +traveller treated his scruples with scorn, and said, that guests meeting +in this general manner, had no more to do with each other than if they +were assembled in a caravansary. + +"So that you need not say a word to him in the way of apology or +otherwise--or, what will be still better, I, who have seen so much of +the world, will make the pretty speech for you." As they spoke, he +dragged the divine towards the house, where they were now summoned by +the appointed signal, and where the company were assembling in the old +saloon already noticed, previous to passing into the dining-room, where +the refreshments were prepared. "Now, Doctor," continued the busy friend +of Mr. Cargill, "let us see which of all these people has been the +subject of your blunder. Is it yon animal of a Highlandman?--or the +impertinent brute that wants to be thought a boatswain?--or which of +them all is it?--Ay, here they come, two and two, Newgate fashion--the +young Lord of the Manor with old Lady Penelope--does he set up for +Ulysses, I wonder?--The Earl of Etherington with Lady Bingo--methinks it +should have been with Miss Mowbray." + +"The Earl of what, did you say?" quoth the clergyman, anxiously. "How is +it you titled that young man in the Spanish dress?" + +"Oho!" said the traveller; "what, I have discovered the goblin that has +scared you?--Come along--come along--I will make you acquainted with +him." So saying, he dragged him towards Lord Etherington; and before the +divine could make his negative intelligible, the ceremony of +introduction had taken place. "My Lord Etherington, allow me to present +Mr. Cargill, minister of this parish--a learned gentleman, whose head is +often in the Holy Land, when his person seems present among his friends. +He suffers extremely, my lord, under the sense of mistaking your +lordship for the Lord knows who; but when you are acquainted with him, +you will find that he can make a hundred stranger mistakes than that, so +we hope that your lordship will take no prejudice or offence." + +"There can be no offence taken where no offence is intended," said Lord +Etherington, with much urbanity. "It is I who ought to beg the reverend +gentleman's pardon, for hurrying from him without allowing him to make a +complete eclaircissement. I beg his pardon for an abruptness which the +place and the time--for I was immediately engaged in a lady's +service--rendered unavoidable." + +Mr. Cargill gazed on the young nobleman as he pronounced these words, +with the easy indifference of one who apologizes to an inferior in order +to maintain his own character for politeness, but with perfect +indifference whether his excuses are or are not held satisfactory. And +as the clergyman gazed, the belief which had so strongly clung to him +that the Earl of Etherington and young Valentine Bulmer were the same +individual person, melted away like frostwork before the morning sun, +and that so completely, that he marvelled at himself for having ever +entertained it. Some strong resemblance of features there must have been +to have led him into such a delusion; but the person, the tone, the +manner of expression, were absolutely different; and his attention being +now especially directed towards these particulars, Mr. Cargill was +inclined to think the two personages almost totally dissimilar. + +The clergyman had now only to make his apology, and fall back from the +head of the table to some lower seat, which his modesty would have +preferred, when he was suddenly seized upon by the Lady Penelope +Penfeather, who, detaining him in the most elegant and persuasive manner +possible, insisted that they should be introduced to each other by Mr. +Mowbray, and that Mr. Cargill should sit beside her at table.--She had +heard so much of his learning--so much of his excellent +character--desired so much to make his acquaintance, that she could not +think of losing an opportunity, which Mr. Cargill's learned seclusion +rendered so very rare--in a word, catching the Black Lion was the order +of the day; and her ladyship having trapped her prey, soon sat +triumphant with him by her side. + +A second separation was thus effected betwixt Touchwood and his friend; +for the former, not being included in the invitation, or, indeed, at all +noticed by Lady Penelope, was obliged to find room at a lower part of +the table, where he excited much surprise by the dexterity with which he +dispatched boiled rice with chop-sticks. + +Mr. Cargill being thus exposed, without a consort, to the fire of Lady +Penelope, speedily found it so brisk and incessant, as to drive his +complaisance, little tried as it had been for many years by small talk, +almost to extremity. She began by begging him to draw his chair close, +for an instinctive terror of fine ladies had made him keep his distance. +At the same time, she hoped "he was not afraid of her as an +Episcopalian; her father had belonged to that communion; for," she +added, with what was intended for an arch smile, "we were somewhat +naughty in the forty-five, as you may have heard; but all that was over, +and she was sure Mr. Cargill was too liberal to entertain any dislike or +shyness on that score.--She could assure him she was far from disliking +the Presbyterian form--indeed she had often wished to hear it, where she +was sure to be both delighted and edified" (here a gracious smile) "in +the church of St. Ronan's--and hoped to do so whenever Mr. Mowbray had +got a stove, which he had ordered from Edinburgh, on purpose to air his +pew for her accommodation." + +All this, which was spoken with wreathed smiles and nods, and so much +civility as to remind the clergyman of a cup of tea over-sweetened to +conceal its want of strength, and flavour, required and received no +farther answer than an accommodating look and acquiescent bow. + +"Ah, Mr. Cargill," continued the inexhaustible Lady Penelope, "your +profession has so many demands on the heart as well as the +understanding--is so much connected with the kindnesses and charities of +our nature--with our best and purest feelings, Mr. Cargill! You know +what Goldsmith says:-- + + ----'to his duty prompt at every call, + He watch'd, and wept, and felt, and pray'd for all.' + +And then Dryden has such a picture of a parish priest, so inimitable, +one would think, did we not hear now and then of some living mortal +presuming to emulate its features," (here another insinuating nod and +expressive smile.) + + "'Refined himself to soul to curb the sense, + And almost made a sin of abstinence. + Yet had his aspect nothing of severe, + But such a face as promised him sincere; + Nothing reserved or sullen was to see, + But sweet regard and pleasing sanctity.'" + +While her ladyship declaimed, the clergyman's wandering eye confessed +his absent mind; his thoughts travelling, perhaps, to accomplish a truce +betwixt Saladin and Conrade of Mountserrat, unless they chanced to be +occupied with some occurrences of that very day, so that the lady was +obliged to recall her indocile auditor with the leading question, "You +are well acquainted with Dryden, of course, Mr. Cargill?" + +"I have not the honour, madam," said Mr. Cargill, starting from his +reverie, and but half understanding the question he replied to. + +"Sir!" said the lady in surprise. + +"Madam!--my lady!" answered Mr. Cargill, in embarrassment. + +"I asked you if you admired Dryden;--but you learned men are so +absent--perhaps you thought I said Leyden." + +"A lamp too early quenched, madam," said Mr Cargill; "I knew him well." + +"And so did I," eagerly replied the lady of the cerulean buskin; "he +spoke ten languages--how mortifying to poor me, Mr. Cargill, who could +only boast of five!--but I have studied a little since that time--I must +have you to help me in my studies, Mr. Cargill--it will be +charitable--but perhaps you are afraid of a female pupil?" + +A thrill, arising from former recollections, passed through poor +Cargill's mind, with as much acuteness as the pass of a rapier might +have done through his body; and we cannot help remarking, that a forward +prater in society, like a busy bustler in a crowd, besides all other +general points of annoyance, is eternally rubbing upon some tender +point, and galling men's feelings, without knowing or regarding it. + +"You must assist me, besides, in my little charities, Mr. Cargill, now +that you and I are become so well acquainted.--There is that Anne +Heggie--I sent her a trifle yesterday, but I am told--I should not +mention it, but only one would not have the little they have to bestow +lavished on an improper object--I am told she is not quite proper--an +unwedded mother, in short, Mr. Cargill--and it would be especially +unbecoming in me to encourage profligacy." + +"I believe, madam," said the clergyman, gravely, "the poor woman's +distress may justify your ladyship's bounty, even if her conduct has +been faulty." + +"O, I am no prude, neither, I assure you, Mr. Cargill," answered the +Lady Penelope. "I never withdraw my countenance from any one but on the +most irrefragable grounds. I could tell you of an intimate friend of my +own, whom I have supported against the whole clamour of the people at +the Well, because I believe, from the bottom of my soul, she is only +thoughtless--nothing in the world but thoughtless--O Mr. Cargill, how +can you look across the table so intelligently?--who would have thought +it of you?--Oh fie, to make such personal applications!" + +"Upon my word, madam, I am quite at a loss to comprehend"---- + +"Oh fie, fie, Mr. Cargill," throwing in as much censure and surprise as +a confidential whisper can convey--"you looked at my Lady Binks--I know +what you think, but you are quite wrong, I assure you; you are entirely +wrong.--I wish she would not flirt quite so much with that young Lord +Etherington though, Mr. Cargill--her situation is particular.--Indeed, I +believe she wears out his patience; for see he is leaving the room +before we sit down--how singular!--And then, do you not think it very +odd, too, that Miss Mowbray has not come down to us?" + +"Miss Mowbray!--what of Miss Mowbray--is she not here?" said Mr. +Cargill, starting, and with an expression of interest which he had not +yet bestowed on any of her ladyship's liberal communications. + +"Ay, poor Miss Mowbray," said Lady Penelope, lowering her voice, and +shaking her head; "she has not appeared--her brother went up stairs a +few minutes since, I believe, to bring her down, and so we are all left +here to look at each other.--How very awkward!--But you know Clara +Mowbray." + +"I, madam?" said Mr. Cargill, who was now sufficiently attentive; "I +really--I know Miss Mowbray--that is, I knew her some years since--but +your ladyship knows she has been long in bad health--uncertain health at +least, and I have seen nothing of the young lady for a very long time." + +"I know it, my dear Mr. Cargill--I know it," continued the Lady +Penelope, in the same tone of deep sympathy, "I know it; and most +unhappy surely have been the circumstances that have separated her from +your advice and friendly counsel.--All this I am aware of--and to say +truth, it has been chiefly on poor Clara's account that I have been +giving you the trouble of fixing an acquaintance upon you.--You and I +together, Mr. Cargill, might do wonders to cure her unhappy state of +mind--I am sure we might--that is, if you could bring your mind to +repose absolute confidence in me." + +"Has Miss Mowbray desired your ladyship to converse with me upon any +subject which interests her?" said the clergyman, with more cautious +shrewdness than Lady Penelope had suspected him of possessing. "I will +in that case be happy to hear the nature of her communication; and +whatever my poor services can perform, your ladyship may command them." + +"I--I--I cannot just assert," said her ladyship with hesitation, "that I +have Miss Mowbray's direct instructions to speak to you, Mr. Cargill, +upon the present subject. But my affection for the dear girl is so very +great--and then, you know, the inconveniences which may arise from this +match." + +"From which match, Lady Penelope?" said Mr. Cargill. + +"Nay, now, Mr. Cargill, you really carry the privilege of Scotland too +far--I have not put a single question to you, but what you have answered +by another--let us converse intelligibly for five minutes, if you can +but condescend so far." + +"For any length of time which your ladyship may please to command," said +Mr. Cargill, "provided the subject regard your ladyship's own affairs or +mine,--could I suppose these last for a moment likely to interest you." + +"Out upon you," said the lady, laughing affectedly; "you should really +have been a Catholic priest instead of a Presbyterian. What an +invaluable father confessor have the fair sex lost in you, Mr. Cargill, +and how dexterously you would have evaded any cross-examinations which +might have committed your penitents!" + +"Your ladyship's raillery is far too severe for me to withstand or reply +to," said Mr. Cargill, bowing with more ease than her ladyship expected; +and, retiring gently backward, he extricated himself from a conversation +which he began to find somewhat embarrassing. + +At that moment a murmur of surprise took place in the apartment, which +was just entered by Miss Mowbray, leaning on her brother's arm. The +cause of this murmur will be best understood, by narrating what had +passed betwixt the brother and sister. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +EXPOSTULATION. + + Seek not the feast in these irreverent robes; + Go to my chamber--put on clothes of mine. + +_The Taming of the Shrew._ + + +It was with a mixture of anxiety, vexation, and resentment, that +Mowbray, just when he had handed Lady Penelope into the apartment where +the tables were covered, observed that his sister was absent, and that +Lady Binks was hanging on the arm of Lord Etherington, to whose rank it +would properly have fallen to escort the lady of the house. An anxious +and hasty glance cast through the room, ascertained that she was absent, +nor could the ladies present give any account of her after she had +quitted the gardens, except that Lady Penelope had spoken a few words +with her in her own apartment, immediately after the scenic +entertainment was concluded. + +Thither Mowbray hurried, complaining aloud of his sister's laziness in +dressing, but internally hoping that the delay was occasioned by nothing +of a more important character. + +He hastened up stairs, entered her sitting-room without ceremony, and +knocking at the door of her dressing-room, begged her to make haste. + +"Here is the whole company impatient," he said, assuming a tone of +pleasantry; "and Sir Bingo Binks exclaiming for your presence, that he +may be let loose on the cold meat." + +"Paddock calls," said Clara from within; "anon--anon!" + +"Nay, it is no jest, Clara," continued her brother; "for here is Lady +Penelope miauling like a starved cat!" + +"I come--I come, greymalkin," answered Clara, in the same vein as +before, and entered the parlour as she spoke, her finery entirely thrown +aside, and dressed in the riding-habit which was her usual and favourite +attire. + +Her brother was both surprised and offended. "On my soul," he said, +"Clara, this is behaving very ill. I indulge you in every freak upon +ordinary occasions, but you might surely on this day, of all others, +have condescended to appear something like my sister, and a gentlewoman +receiving company in her own house." + +"Why, dearest John," said Clara, "so that the guests have enough to eat +and drink, I cannot conceive why I should concern myself about their +finery, or they trouble themselves about my plain clothes." + +"Come, come, Clara, this will not do," answered Mowbray; "you must +positively go back into your dressing-room, and huddle your things on as +fast as you can. You cannot go down to the company dressed as you are." + +"I certainly can, and I certainly will, John--I have made a fool of +myself once this morning to oblige you, and for the rest of the day I am +determined to appear in my own dress; that is, in one which shows I +neither belong to the world, nor wish to have any thing to do with its +fashions." + +"By my soul, Clara, I will make you repent this!" said Mowbray, with +more violence than he usually exhibited where his sister was concerned. + +"You cannot, dear John," she coolly replied, "unless by beating me; and +that I think you would repent of yourself." + +"I do not know but what it were the best way of managing you," said +Mowbray, muttering between his teeth; but, commanding his violence, he +only said aloud, "I am sure, from long experience, Clara, that your +obstinacy will at the long run beat my anger. Do let us compound the +point for once--keep your old habit, since you are so fond of making a +sight of yourself, and only throw the shawl round your shoulders--it has +been exceedingly admired, and every woman in the house longs to see it +closer--they can hardly believe it genuine." + +"Do be a man, Mowbray," answered his sister; "meddle with your +horse-sheets, and leave shawls alone." + +"Do you be a woman, Clara, and think a little on them, when custom and +decency render it necessary.--Nay, is it possible!--Will you not +stir--not oblige me in such a trifle as this?" + +"I would indeed if I could," said Clara; "but since you must know the +truth--do not be angry--I have not the shawl. I have given it +away--given it up, perhaps I should say, to the rightful owner.--She has +promised me something or other in exchange for it, however. I have given +it to Lady Penelope." + +"Yes," answered Mowbray, "some of the work of her own fair hands, I +suppose, or a couple of her ladyship's drawings, made up into +fire-screens.--On my word--on my soul, this is too bad!--It is using me +too ill, Clara--far too ill. If the thing had been of no value, my +giving it to you should have fixed some upon it.--Good-even to you; we +will do as well as we can without you." + +"Nay, but, my dear John--stay but a moment," said Clara, taking his arm +as he sullenly turned towards the door; "there are but two of us on the +earth--do not let us quarrel about a trumpery shawl." + +"Trumpery!" said Mowbray; "It cost fifty guineas, by G--, which I can +but ill spare--trumpery!" + +"O, never think of the cost," said Clara; "it was your gift, and that +should, I own, have been enough to have made me keep to my death's day +the poorest rag of it. But really Lady Penelope looked so very +miserable, and twisted her poor face into so many odd expressions of +anger and chagrin, that I resigned it to her, and agreed to say she had +lent it to me for the performance. I believe she was afraid that I would +change my mind, or that you would resume it as a seignorial waif; for, +after she had walked a few turns with it wrapped around her, merely by +way of taking possession, she dispatched it by a special messenger to +her apartment at the Well." + +"She may go to the devil," said Mowbray, "for a greedy unconscionable +jade, who has varnished over a selfish, spiteful heart, that is as hard +as a flint, with a fine glossing of taste and sensibility!" + +"Nay, but, John," replied his sister, "she really had something to +complain of in the present case. The shawl had been bespoken on her +account, or very nearly so--she showed me the tradesman's letter--only +some agent of yours had come in between with the ready money, which no +tradesman can resist.--Ah, John! I suspect half of your anger is owing +to the failure of a plan to mortify poor Lady Pen, and that she has more +to complain of than you have.--Come, come, you have had the advantage of +her in the first display of this fatal piece of finery, if wearing it on +my poor shoulders can be called a display--e'en make her welcome to the +rest for peace's sake, and let us go down to these good folks, and you +shall see how pretty and civil I shall behave." + +Mowbray, a spoiled child, and with all the petted habits of indulgence, +was exceedingly fretted at the issue of the scheme which he had formed +for mortifying Lady Penelope; but he saw at once the necessity of saying +nothing more to his sister on the subject. Vengeance he privately +muttered against Lady Pen, whom he termed an absolute harpy in +blue-stockings; unjustly forgetting, that in the very important affair +at issue, he himself had been the first to interfere with and defeat her +ladyship's designs on the garment in question. + +"But I will blow her," he said, "I will blow her ladyship's conduct in +the business! She shall not outwit a poor whimsical girl like Clara, +without hearing it on more sides than one." + +With this Christian and gentlemanlike feeling towards Lady Penelope, he +escorted his sister into the eating-room, and led her to her proper +place at the head of the table. It was the negligence displayed in her +dress, which occasioned the murmur of surprise that greeted Clara on her +entrance. Mowbray, as he placed his sister in her chair, made her +general apology for her late appearance, and her riding-habit. "Some +fairies," he supposed, "Puck, or such like tricksy goblin, had been in +her wardrobe, and carried off whatever was fit for wearing." + +There were answers from every quarter--that it would have been too much +to expect Miss Mowbray to dress for their amusement a second time--that +nothing she chose to wear could misbecome Miss Mowbray--that she had set +like the sun, in her splendid scenic dress, and now rose like the full +moon in her ordinary attire, (this flight was by the Reverend Mr. +Chatterly,)--and that "Miss Mowbray being at hame, had an unco gude +right to please hersell;" which last piece of politeness, being at least +as much to the purpose as any that had preceded it, was the contribution +of honest Mrs. Blower; and was replied to by Miss Mowbray with a +particular and most gracious bow. + +Mrs. Blower ought to have rested her colloquial fame, as Dr. Johnson +would have said, upon a compliment so evidently acceptable, but no one +knows where to stop. She thrust her broad, good-natured, delighted +countenance forward, and sending her voice from the bottom to the top of +the table, like her umquhile husband when calling to his mate during a +breeze, wondered "why Miss Clara Moubrie didna wear that grand shawl she +had on at the play-making, and her just sitting upon the wind of a door. +Nae doubt it was for fear of the soup, and the butter-boats, and the +like;--but _she_ had three shawls, which she really fand was ane ower +mony--if Miss Moubrie wad like to wear ane o' them--it was but +imitashion, to be sure--but it wad keep her shouthers as warm as if it +were real Indian, and if it were dirtied it was the less matter." + +"Much obliged, Mrs. Blower," said Mowbray unable to resist the +temptation which this speech offered; "but my sister is not yet of +quality sufficient, to entitle her to rob her friends of their shawls." + +Lady Penelope coloured to the eyes, and bitter was the retort that arose +to her tongue; but she suppressed it, and nodding to Miss Mowbray in the +most friendly way in the world, yet with a very particular expression, +she only said, "So you have told your brother of the little transaction +which we have had this morning?--_Tu me lo pagherai_--I give you fair +warning, take care none of your secrets come into my keeping--that's +all." + +Upon what mere trifles do the important events of human life sometimes +depend! If Lady Penelope had given way to her first movements of +resentment, the probable issue would have been some such half-comic +half-serious skirmish, as her ladyship and Mr. Mowbray had often amused +the company withal. But revenge which is suppressed and deferred, is +always most to be dreaded; and to the effects of the deliberate +resentment which Lady Penelope cherished upon this trifling occasion, +must be traced the events which our history has to record. Secretly did +she determine to return the shawl, which she had entertained hopes of +making her own upon very reasonable terms; and as secretly did she +resolve to be revenged both upon brother and sister, conceiving herself +already possessed, to a certain degree, of a clew to some part of their +family history, which might serve for a foundation on which to raise her +projected battery. The ancient offences and emulation of importance of +the Laird of St. Ronan's, and the superiority which had been given to +Clara in the exhibition of the day, combined with the immediate cause of +resentment; and it only remained for her to consider how her revenge +should be most signally accomplished. + +Whilst such thoughts were passing through Lady Penelope's mind, Mowbray +was searching with his eyes for the Earl of Etherington, judging that it +might be proper, in the course of the entertainment, or before the +guests had separated, to make him formally acquainted with his sister, +as a preface to the more intimate connexion which must, in prosecution +of the plan agreed upon, take place betwixt them. Greatly to his +surprise, the young Earl was no where visible, and the place which he +had occupied by the side of Lady Binks had been quietly appropriated by +Winterblossom, as the best and softest chair in the room, and nearest to +the head of the table, where the choicest of the entertainment is +usually arranged. This honest gentleman, after a few insipid compliments +to her ladyship upon her performance as Queen of the Amazons, had +betaken himself to the much more interesting occupation of ogling the +dishes, through the glass which hung suspended at his neck by a gold +chain of Maltese workmanship. After looking and wondering for a few +seconds, Mowbray addressed himself to the old beau-garcon, and asked him +what had become of Etherington. + +"Retreated," said Winterblossom, "and left but his compliments to you +behind him--a complaint, I think, in his wounded arm.--Upon my word, +that soup has a most appetizing flavour!--Lady Penelope, shall I have +the honour to help you?--no!--nor you, Lady Binks?--you are too +cruel!--I must comfort myself, like a heathen priest of old, by eating +the sacrifice which the deities have scorned to accept of." + +Here he helped himself to the plate of soup which he had in vain offered +to the ladies, and transferred the further duty of dispensing it to Mr. +Chatterly; "it is your profession, sir, to propitiate the +divinities--ahem!" + +"I did not think Lord Etherington would have left us so soon," said +Mowbray; "but we must do the best we can without his countenance." + +So saying, he assumed his place at the bottom of the table, and did his +best to support the character of a hospitable and joyous landlord, while +on her part, with much natural grace, and delicacy of attention +calculated to set every body at their ease, his sister presided at the +upper end of the board. But the vanishing of Lord Etherington in a +manner so sudden and unaccountable--the obvious ill-humour of Lady +Penelope--and the steady, though passive, sullenness of Lady Binks, +spread among the company a gloom like that produced by an autumnal mist +upon a pleasing landscape. The women were low-spirited, dull, nay, +peevish, they did not well know why; and the men could not be joyous, +though the ready resource of old hock and champagne made some of them +talkative.--Lady Penelope broke up the party by well-feigned +apprehension of the difficulties, nay, dangers, of returning by so rough +a road. Lady Binks begged a seat with her ladyship, as Sir Bingo, she +said, judging from his devotion to the green flask, was likely to need +their carriage home. From the moment of their departure, it became bad +tone to remain behind; and all, as in a retreating army, were eager to +be foremost, excepting MacTurk and a few stanch topers, who, unused to +meet with such good cheer every day of their lives, prudently determined +to make the most of the opportunity. + +We will not dwell on the difficulties attending the transportation of a +large company by few carriages, though the delay and disputes thereby +occasioned were of course more intolerable than in the morning, for the +parties had no longer the hopes of a happy day before them, as a bribe +to submit to temporary inconvenience. The impatience of many was so +great, that, though the evening was raw, they chose to go on foot rather +than await the dull routine of the returning carriages; and as they +retired they agreed, with one consent, to throw the blame of whatever +inconvenience they might sustain on their host and hostess, who had +invited so large a party before getting a shorter and better road made +between the Well and Shaws-Castle. + +"It would have been so easy to repair the path by the Buck-stane!" + +And this was all the thanks which Mr. Mowbray received for an +entertainment which had cost him so much trouble and expense, and had +been looked forward to by the good society at the Well with such +impatient expectation. + +"It was an unco pleasant show," said the good-natured Mrs. Blower, "only +it was a pity it was sae tediousome; and there was surely an awfu' waste +of gauze and muslin." + +But so well had Dr. Quackleben improved his numerous opportunities, that +the good lady was much reconciled to affairs in general, by the prospect +of coughs, rheumatisms, and other maladies acquired upon the occasion, +which were likely to afford that learned gentleman, in whose prosperity +she much interested herself, a very profitable harvest. + +Mowbray, somewhat addicted to the service of Bacchus, did not find +himself freed, by the secession of so large a proportion of the company, +from the service of the jolly god, although, upon the present occasion, +he could well have dispensed with his orgies. Neither the song, nor the +pun, nor the jest, had any power to kindle his heavy spirit, mortified +as he was by the event of his party being so different from the +brilliant consummation which he had anticipated. The guests, stanch boon +companions, suffered not, however, their party to flag for want of the +landlord's participation, but continued to drink bottle after bottle, +with as little regard for Mr. Mowbray's grave looks, as if they had been +carousing at the Mowbray Arms, instead of the Mowbray mansion-house. +Midnight at length released him, when, with an unsteady step, he sought +his own apartment; cursing himself and his companions, consigning his +own person with all dispatch to his bed, and bequeathing those of the +company to as many mosses and quagmires, as could be found betwixt +Shaws-Castle and St. Ronan's Well. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +THE PROPOSAL. + + Oh! you would be a vestal maid, I warrant, + The bride of Heaven--Come--we may shake your purpose; + For here I bring in hand a jolly suitor + Hath ta'en degrees in the seven sciences + That ladies love best--He is young and noble, + Handsome and valiant, gay, and rich, and liberal. + +_The Nun._ + + +The morning after a debauch is usually one of reflection, even to the +most determined boon companion; and, in the retrospect of the preceding +day, the young Laird of St. Ronan's saw nothing very consolatory, unless +that the excess was not, in the present case, of his own seeking, but +had arisen out of the necessary duties of a landlord, or what were +considered as such by his companions. + +But it was not so much his dizzy recollections of the late carouse which +haunted him on awakening, as the inexplicability which seemed to shroud +the purposes and conduct of his new ally, the Earl of Etherington. + +That young nobleman had seen Miss Mowbray, had declared his high +satisfaction, had warmly and voluntarily renewed the proposal which he +had made ere she was yet known to him--and yet, far from seeking an +opportunity to be introduced to her, he had even left the party +abruptly, in order to avoid the necessary intercourse which must there +have taken place between them. His lordship's flirtation with Lady +Binks had not escaped the attention of the sagacious Mowbray--her +ladyship also had been in a hurry to leave Shaws-Castle; and Mowbray +promised to himself to discover the nature of this connexion through +Mrs. Gingham, her ladyship's attendant, or otherwise; vowing deeply at +the same time, that no peer in the realm should make an affectation of +addressing Miss Mowbray a cloak for another and more secret intrigue. +But his doubts on this subject were in great measure removed by the +arrival of one of Lord Etherington's grooms with the following letter:-- + + "My Dear Mowbray,--You would naturally be surprised at my escape + from the table yesterday before you returned to it, or your lovely + sister had graced it with her presence. I must confess my folly; and + I may do so the more boldly, for, as the footing on which I first + opened this treaty was not a very romantic one, you will scarce + suspect me of wishing to render it such. But I did in reality feel, + during the whole of yesterday, a reluctance which I cannot express, + to be presented to the lady on whose favour the happiness of my + future life is to depend, upon such a public occasion, and in the + presence of so promiscuous a company. I had my mask, indeed, to wear + while in the promenade, but, of course, that was to be laid aside at + table, and, consequently, I must have gone through the ceremony of + introduction; a most interesting moment, which I was desirous to + defer till a fitter season. I trust you will permit me to call upon + you at Shaws-Castle this morning, in the hope--the anxious hope--of + being allowed to pay my duty to Miss Mowbray, and apologize for not + waiting upon her yesterday. I expect your answer with the utmost + impatience, being always yours, &c. &c. &c. + +"ETHERINGTON." + +"This," said St. Ronan's to himself, as he folded the letter +deliberately, after having twice read it over, "seems all fair and above +board; I could not wish any thing more explicit; and, moreover, it puts +into black and white, as old Mick would say, what only rested before on +our private conversation. An especial cure for the headache, such a +billet as this in a morning." + +So saying, he sat him down and wrote an answer, expressing the pleasure +he should have in seeing his lordship as soon as he thought proper. He +watched even the departure of the groom, and beheld him gallop off, with +the speed of one who knows that his quick return was expected by an +impatient master. + +Mowbray remained for a few minutes by himself, and reflected with +delight upon the probable consequences of this match;--the advancement +of his sister--and, above all, the various advantages which must +necessarily accrue to himself, by so close an alliance with one whom he +had good reason to think deep _in the secret_, and capable of rendering +him the most material assistance in his speculations on the turf and in +the sporting world. He then sent a servant to let Miss Mowbray know that +he intended to breakfast with her. + +"I suppose, John," said Clara, as her brother entered the apartment, +"you are glad of a weaker cup this morning than those you were drinking +last night--you were carousing till after the first cock." + +"Yes," said Mowbray, "that sandbed, old MacTurk, upon whom whole +hogsheads make no impression, did make a bad boy of me--but the day is +over, and they will scarce catch me in such another scrape.--What did +you think of the masks?" + +"Supported as well," said Clara, "as such folk support the disguise of +gentlemen and ladies during life; and that is, with a great deal of +bustle, and very little propriety." + +"I saw only one good mask there, and that was a Spaniard," said her +brother. + +"O, I saw him too," answered Clara; "but he wore his visor on. An old +Indian merchant, or some such thing, seemed to me a better +character--the Spaniard did nothing but stalk about and twangle his +guitar, for the amusement of my Lady Binks, as I think." + +"He is a very clever fellow, though, that same Spaniard," rejoined +Mowbray--"Can you guess who he is?" + +"No, indeed; nor shall I take the trouble of trying. To set to guessing +about it, were as bad as seeing the whole mummery over again." + +"Well," replied her brother, "you will allow one thing at least--Bottom +was well acted--you cannot deny that." + +"Yes," replied Clara, "that worthy really deserved to wear his ass's +head to the end of the chapter--but what of him?" + +"Only conceive that he should be the very same person with that handsome +Spaniard," replied Mowbray. + +"Then there is one fool fewer than I thought there was," replied Clara, +with the greatest indifference. + +Her brother bit his lip. + +"Clara," he said, "I believe you are an excellent good girl, and clever +to boot, but pray do not set up for wit and oddity; there is nothing in +life so intolerable as pretending to think differently from other +people.--That gentleman was the Earl of Etherington." + +This annunciation, though made in what was meant to be an imposing tone, +had no impression on Clara. + +"I hope he plays the peer better than the Fidalgo," she replied, +carelessly. + +"Yes," answered Mowbray, "he is one of the handsomest men of the time, +and decidedly fashionable--you will like him much when you see him in +private." + +"It is of little consequence whether I do or no," answered Clara. + +"You mistake the matter," said Mowbray, gravely; "it may be of +considerable consequence." + +"Indeed!" said Clara, with a smile; "I must suppose myself, then, too +important a person not to make my approbation necessary to one of your +first-rates? He cannot pretend to pass muster at St. Ronan's without +it?--Well, I will depute my authority to Lady Binks, and she shall pass +your new recruits instead of me." + +"This is all nonsense, Clara," said Mowbray. "Lord Etherington calls +here this very morning, and wishes to be made known to you. I expect you +will receive him as a particular friend of mine." + +"With all my heart--so you will engage, after this visit, to keep him +down with your other particular friends at the Well--you know it is a +bargain that you bring neither buck nor pointer into my parlour--the one +worries my cat, and the other my temper." + +"You mistake me entirely, Clara--this is a very different visitor from +any I have ever introduced to you--I expect to see him often here, and +I hope you and he will be better friends than you think of. I have more +reasons for wishing this, than I have now time to tell you." + +Clara remained silent for an instant, then looked at her brother with an +anxious and scrutinizing glance, as if she wished to penetrate into his +inmost purpose. + +"If I thought,"--she said, after a minute's consideration, and with an +altered and disturbed tone; "but no--I will not think that Heaven +intends me such a blow--least of all, that it should come from your +hands." She walked hastily to the window, and threw it open--then shut +it again, and returned to her seat, saying, with a constrained smile, +"May Heaven forgive you, brother, but you frightened me heartily." + +"I did not mean to do so, Clara," said Mowbray, who saw the necessity of +soothing her; "I only alluded in joke to those chances that are never +out of other girls' heads, though you never seem to calculate on them." + +"I wish you, my dear John," said Clara, struggling to regain entire +composure, "I wish _you_ would profit by my example, and give up the +science of chance also--it will not avail you." + +"How d'ye know that?--I'll show you the contrary, you silly wench," +answered Mowbray--"Here is a banker's bill, payable to your own order, +for the cash you lent me, and something over--don't let old Mick have +the fingering, but let Bindloose manage it for you--he is the honester +man between two d----d knaves." + +"Will not you, brother, send it to the man Bindloose yourself?" + +"No,--no," replied Mowbray--"he might confuse it with some of my +transactions, and so you forfeit your stake." + +"Well, I am glad you are able to pay me, for I want to buy Campbell's +new work." + +"I wish you joy of your purchase--but don't scratch me for not caring +about it--I know as little of books as you of the long odds. And come +now, be serious, and tell me if you will be a good girl--lay aside your +whims, and receive this English young nobleman like a lady as you are?" + +"That were easy," said Clara--"but--but--Pray, ask no more of me than +just to see him.--Say to him at once, I am a poor creature in body, in +mind, in spirits, in temper, in understanding--above all, say that I can +receive him only once." + +"I shall say no such thing," said Mowbray, bluntly; "it is good to be +plain with you at once--I thought of putting off this discussion--but +since it must come, the sooner it is over the better.--You are to +understand, Clara Mowbray, that Lord Etherington has a particular view +in this visit, and that his view has my full sanction and approbation." + +"I thought so," said Clara, in the same altered tone of voice in which +she had before spoken; "my mind foreboded this last of misfortunes!--But, +Mowbray, you have no child before you--I neither will nor can see this +nobleman." + +"How!" exclaimed Mowbray, fiercely; "do you dare return me so peremptory +an answer?--Think better of it, for, if we differ, you will find you +will have the worst of the game." + +"Rely upon it," she continued, with more vehemence, "I will see him nor +no man upon the footing you mention--my resolution is taken, and +threats and entreaties will prove equally unavailing." + +"Upon my word, madam," said Mowbray, "you have, for a modest and retired +young lady, plucked up a goodly spirit of your own!--But you shall find +mine equals it. If you do not agree to see my friend Lord Etherington, +ay, and to receive him with the politeness due to the consideration I +entertain for him, by Heaven! Clara, I will no longer regard you as my +father's daughter. Think what you are giving up--the affection and +protection of a brother--and for what?--merely for an idle point of +etiquette.--You cannot, I suppose, even in the workings of your romantic +brain, imagine that the days of Clarissa Harlowe and Harriet Byron are +come back again, when women were married by main force? and it is +monstrous vanity in you to suppose that Lord Etherington, since he has +honoured you with any thoughts at all, will not be satisfied with a +proper and civil refusal--You are no such prize, methinks, that the days +of romance are to come back for you." + +"I care not what days they are," said Clara--"I tell you I will not see +Lord Etherington, or any one else, upon such preliminaries as you have +stated--I cannot--I will not--and I ought not.--Had you meant me to +receive him, which can be a matter of no consequence whatever, you +should have left him on the footing of an ordinary visitor--as it is, I +will not see him." + +"You _shall_ see and hear him both," said Mowbray; "you shall find me as +obstinate as you are--as willing to forget I am a brother, as you to +forget that you have one." + +"It is time, then," replied Clara, "that this house, once our father's, +should no longer hold us both. I can provide for myself, and may God +bless you!" + +"You take it coolly, madam," said her brother, walking through the +apartment with much anxiety both of look and gesture. + +"I do," she answered, "for it is what I have often foreseen--Yes, +brother, I have often foreseen that you would make your sister the +subject of your plots and schemes, so soon as other stakes failed you. +That hour is come, and I am, as you see, prepared to meet it." + +"And where may you propose to retire to?" said Mowbray. "I think that I, +your only relation and natural guardian, have a right to know that--my +honour and that of my family is concerned." + +"Your honour!" she retorted, with a keen glance at him; "your interest, +I suppose you mean, is somehow connected with the place of my +abode.--But keep yourself patient--the den of the rock, the linn of the +brook, should be my choice, rather than a palace without my freedom." + +"You are mistaken, however," said Mowbray, sternly, "if you hope to +enjoy more freedom than I think you capable of making a good use of. The +law authorizes, and reason, and even affection, require, that you should +be put under restraint for your own safety, and that of your character. +You roamed the woods a little too much in my father's time, if all +stories be true." + +"I did--I did indeed, Mowbray," said Clara, weeping; "God pity me, and +forgive you for upbraiding me with my state of mind--I know I cannot +sometimes trust my own judgment; but is it for you to remind me of +this?" + +Mowbray was at once softened and embarrassed. + +"What folly is this?" he said; "you say the most cutting things to +me--are ready to fly from my house--and when I am provoked to make an +angry answer, you burst into tears!" + +"Say you did not mean what you said, my dearest brother!" exclaimed +Clara; "O say you did not mean it!--Do not take my liberty from me--it +is all I have left, and, God knows, it is a poor comfort in the sorrows +I undergo. I will put a fair face on every thing--will go down to the +Well--will wear what you please, and say what you please--but O! leave +me the liberty of my solitude here--let me weep alone in the house of my +father--and do not force a broken-hearted sister to lay her death at +your door.--My span must be a brief one, but let not your hand shake the +sand-glass!--Disturb me not--let me pass quietly--I do not ask this so +much for my sake as for your own. I would have you think of me, +sometimes, Mowbray, after I am gone, and without the bitter reflections +which the recollection of harsh usage will assuredly bring with it. Pity +me, were it but for your own sake.--I have deserved nothing but +compassion at your hand--There are but two of us on earth, why should we +make each other miserable?" + +She accompanied these entreaties with a flood of tears, and the most +heart-bursting sobs. Mowbray knew not what to determine. On the one +hand, he was bound by his promise to the Earl; on the other, his sister +was in no condition to receive such a visitor; nay, it was most +probable, that if he adopted the strong measure of compelling her to +receive him, her behaviour would probably be such as totally to break +off the projected match, on the success of which he had founded so many +castles in the air. In this dilemma, he had again recourse to argument. + +"Clara," he said, "I am, as I have repeatedly said, your only relation +and guardian--if there be any real reason why you ought not to receive, +and, at least, make a civil reply to such a negotiation as the Earl of +Etherington has thought fit to open, surely I ought to be intrusted with +it. You enjoyed far too much of that liberty which you seem to prize so +highly during my father's lifetime--in the last years of it at +least--have you formed any foolish attachment during that time, which +now prevents you from receiving such a visit as Lord Etherington has +threatened?" + +"Threatened!--the expression is well chosen," said Miss Mowbray; "and +nothing can be more dreadful than such a threat, excepting its +accomplishment." + +"I am glad your spirits are reviving," replied her brother; "but that is +no answer to my question." + +"Is it necessary," said Clara, "that one must have actually some +engagement or entanglement, to make them unwilling to be given in +marriage, or even to be pestered upon such a subject?--Many young men +declare they intend to die bachelors, why may not I be permitted to +commence old maid at three-and-twenty?--Let me do so, like a kind +brother, and there were never nephews and nieces so petted and so +scolded, so nursed and so cuffed by a maiden aunt, as your children, +when you have them, shall be by aunt Clara." + +"And why not say all this to Lord Etherington?" said Mowbray; "wait +until he propose such a terrible bugbear as matrimony, before you refuse +to receive him. Who knows, the whim that he hinted at may have passed +away--he was, as you say, flirting with Lady Binks, and her ladyship has +a good deal of address, as well as beauty." + +"Heaven improve both, (in an honest way,) if she will but keep his +lordship to herself!" said Clara. + +"Well, then," continued her brother, "things standing thus, I do not +think you will have much trouble with his lordship--no more, perhaps, +than just to give him a civil denial. After having spoken on such a +subject to a man of my condition, he cannot well break off without you +give him an apology." + +"If that is all," said Clara, "he shall, as soon as he gives me an +opportunity, receive such an answer as will leave him at liberty to woo +any one whatsoever of Eve's daughters, excepting Clara Mowbray. Methinks +I am so eager to set the captive free, that I now wish as much for his +lordship's appearance as I feared it a little while since." + +"Nay, nay, but let us go fair and softly," said her brother. "You are +not to refuse him before he asks the question." + +"Certainly," said Clara; "but I well know how to manage that--he shall +never ask the question at all. I will restore Lady Binks's admirer, +without accepting so much as a civility in ransom." + +"Worse and worse, Clara," answered Mowbray; "you are to remember he is +my friend and guest, and he must not be affronted in my house. Leave +things to themselves.--Besides, consider an instant, Clara--had you not +better take a little time for reflection in this case? The offer is a +splendid one--title--fortune--and, what is more, a fortune which you +will be well entitled to share largely in." + +"This is beyond our implied treaty," said Clara. "I have yielded more +than ever I thought I should have done, when I agreed that this Earl +should be introduced to me on the footing of a common visitor; and now +you talk favourably of his pretensions. This is an encroachment, +Mowbray, and now I shall relapse into my obstinacy, and refuse to see +him at all." + +"Do as you will," replied Mowbray, sensible that it was only by working +on her affections that he had any chance of carrying a point against her +inclination,--"Do as you will, my dear Clara; but, for Heaven's sake, +wipe your eyes." + +"And behave myself," said she, trying to smile as she obeyed +him,--"behave myself, you would say, like folks of this world; but the +quotation is lost on you, who never read either Prior or Shakspeare." + +"I thank Heaven for that," said Mowbray. "I have enough to burden my +brain, without carrying such a lumber of rhymes in it as you and Lady +Pen do.--Come, that is right; go to the mirror, and make yourself +decent." + +A woman must be much borne down indeed by pain and suffering, when she +loses all respect for her external appearance. The madwoman in Bedlam +wears her garland of straw with a certain air of pretension; and we have +seen a widow whom we knew to be most sincerely affected by a recent +deprivation, whose weeds, nevertheless, were arranged with a dolorous +degree of grace, which amounted almost to coquetry. Clara Mowbray had +also, negligent as she seemed to be of appearances, her own art of the +toilet, although of the most rapid and most simple character. She took +off her little riding-hat, and, unbinding a lace of Indian gold which +retained her locks, shook them in dark and glossy profusion over her +very handsome form, which they overshadowed down to her slender waist; +and while her brother stood looking on her with a mixture of pride, +affection, and compassion, she arranged them with a large comb, and, +without the assistance of any _femme d'atours_, wove them, in the course +of a few minutes, into such a natural head-dress as we see on the +statues of the Grecian nymphs. + +"Now let me but find my best muff," she said, "come prince and peer, I +shall be ready to receive them." + +"Pshaw! your muff--who has heard of such a thing these twenty years? +Muffs were out of fashion before you were born." + +"No matter, John," replied his sister; "when a woman wears a muff, +especially a determined old maid like myself, it is a sign she has no +intentions to scratch; and therefore the muff serves all the purposes of +a white flag, and prevents the necessity of drawing on a glove, so +prudentially recommended by the motto of our cousins, the +M'Intoshes."[II-4] + +"Be it as you will, then," said Mowbray; "for other than you do will it, +you will not suffer it to be.--But how is this!--another billet?--We are +in request this morning." + +"Now, Heaven send his lordship may have judiciously considered all the +risks which he is sure to encounter on this charmed ground, and resolved +to leave his adventure unattempted," said Miss Mowbray. + +Her brother glanced a look of displeasure at her, as he broke the seal +of the letter, which was addressed to him with the words, "Haste and +secrecy," written on the envelope. The contents, which greatly surprised +him, we remit to the commencement of the next chapter. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[II-4] The well known crest of this ancient race, is a cat rampant with a +motto bearing the caution--"Touch not the cat, but [_i.e._ _be out_, or +without] the glove." + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +PRIVATE INFORMATION. + + ----Ope this letter; + I can produce a champion that will prove + What is avouched there.---- + +_King Lear._ + + +The billet which Mowbray received, and read in his sister's presence, +contained these words:-- + + "Sir,--Clara Mowbray has few friends--none, perhaps, excepting + yourself, in right of blood, and the writer of this letter, by right + of the fondest, truest, and most disinterested attachment, that ever + man bore to woman. I am thus explicit with you, because, though it + is unlikely that I should ever again see or speak to your sister, I + am desirous that you should be clearly acquainted with the cause of + that interest, which I must always, even to my dying breath, take in + her affairs. + + "The person, calling himself Lord Etherington, is, I am aware, in + the neighbourhood of Shaws-Castle, with the intention of paying his + addresses to Miss Mowbray; and it is easy for me to foresee, arguing + according to the ordinary views of mankind, that he may place his + proposals in such a light as may make them seem highly desirable. + But ere you give this person the encouragement which his offers may + seem to deserve, please to enquire whether his fortune is certain, + or his rank indisputable; and be not satisfied with light evidence + on either point. A man may be in possession of an estate and title, + to which he has no better right than his own rapacity and + forwardness of assumption; and supposing Mr. Mowbray jealous, as he + must be, of the honour of his family, the alliance of such a one + cannot but bring disgrace. This comes from one who will make good + what he has written." + +On the first perusal of a billet so extraordinary, Mowbray was inclined +to set it down to the malice of some of the people at the Well, +anonymous letters being no uncommon resource of the small wits who +frequent such places of general resort, as a species of deception safely +and easily executed, and well calculated to produce much mischief and +confusion. But upon closer consideration, he was shaken in this opinion, +and, starting suddenly from the reverie into which he had fallen, asked +for the messenger who had brought the letter. "He was in the hall," the +servant thought, and Mowbray ran to the hall. No--the messenger was not +there, but Mowbray might see his back as he walked up the avenue.--He +hollo'd--no answer was returned--he ran after the fellow, whose +appearance was that of a countryman. The man quickened his pace as he +saw himself pursued, and when he got out of the avenue, threw himself +into one of the numerous bypaths which wanderers, who strayed in quest +of nuts, or for the sake of exercise, had made in various directions +through the extensive copse which surrounded the Castle, and were +doubtless the reason of its acquiring the name of Shaws, which +signifies, in the Scottish dialect, a wood of this description. + +Irritated by the man's obvious desire to avoid him, and naturally +obstinate in all his resolutions, Mowbray pursued for a considerable +way, until he fairly lost breath; and the flier having been long out of +sight, he recollected at length that his engagement with the Earl of +Etherington required his attendance at the Castle. + +The young lord, indeed, had arrived at Shaws-Castle, so few minutes +after Mowbray's departure, that it was wonderful they had not met in the +avenue. The servant to whom he applied, conceiving that his master must +return instantly, as he had gone out without his hat, ushered the Earl, +without farther ceremony, into the breakfast-room, where Clara was +seated upon one of the window-seats, so busily employed with a book, or +perhaps with her own thoughts while she held a book in her hands, that +she scarce raised her head, until Lord Etherington, advancing, +pronounced the words, "Miss Mowbray." A start, and a loud scream, +announced her deadly alarm, and these were repeated as he made one pace +nearer, and in a firmer accent said, "Clara." + +"No nearer--no nearer," she exclaimed, "if you would have me look upon +you and live!" Lord Etherington remained standing, as if uncertain +whether to advance or retreat, while with incredible rapidity she poured +out her hurried entreaties that he would begone, sometimes addressing +him as a real personage, sometimes, and more frequently, as a delusive +phantom, the offspring of her own excited imagination. "I knew it," she +muttered, "I knew what would happen, if my thoughts were forced into +that fearful channel.--Speak to me, brother! speak to me while I have +reason left, and tell me that what stands before me is but an empty +shadow! But it is no shadow--it remains before me in all the lineaments +of mortal substance!" + +"Clara," said the Earl, with a firm, yet softened voice, "collect and +compose yourself. I am, indeed, no shadow--I am a much-injured man, come +to demand rights which have been unjustly withheld from me. I am now +armed with power as well as justice, and my claims shall be heard." + +"Never--never!" replied Clara Mowbray; "since extremity is my portion, +let extremity give me courage.--You have no rights--none--I know you +not, and I defy you." + +"Defy me not, Clara Mowbray," answered the Earl, in a tone, and with a +manner how different from those which delighted society! for now he was +solemn, tragic, and almost stern, like the judge when he passes sentence +upon a criminal. "Defy me not," he repeated. "I am your Fate, and it +rests with you to make me a kind or severe one." + +"Dare you speak thus?" said Clara, her eyes flashing with anger, while +her lips grew white, and quivered for fear--"Dare you speak thus, and +remember that the same heaven is above our heads, to which you so +solemnly vowed you would never see me more without my own consent?" + +"That vow was conditional--Francis Tyrrel, as he calls himself, swore +the same--hath _he_ not seen you?" He fixed a piercing look on her; "He +has--you dare not disown it!--And shall an oath, which to him is but a +cobweb, be to me a shackle of iron?" + +"Alas! it was but for a moment," said Miss Mowbray, sinking in courage, +and drooping her head as she spoke. + +"Were it but the twentieth part of an instant--the least conceivable +space of subdivided time--still, you _did_ meet--he saw you--you spoke +to him. And me also you must see--me also you must hear! Or I will first +claim you for my own in the face of the world; and, having vindicated my +rights, I will seek out and extinguish the wretched rival who has dared +to interfere with them." + +"Can you speak thus?" said Clara--"can you so burst through the ties of +nature?--Have you a heart!" + +"I have; and it shall be moulded like wax to your slightest wishes, if +you agree to do me justice; but not granite, nor aught else that nature +has of hardest, will be more inflexible if you continue an useless +opposition!--Clara Mowbray, I am your Fate." + +"Not so, proud man," said Clara, rising, "God gave not one potsherd the +power to break another, save by his divine permission--my fate is in the +will of Him, without whose will even a sparrow falls not to the +ground.--Begone--I am strong in faith of heavenly protection." + +"Do you speak thus in sincerity?" said the Earl of Etherington; +"consider first what is the prospect before you. I stand here in no +doubtful or ambiguous character--I offer not the mere name of a +husband--propose to you not a humble lot of obscurity and hardship, with +fears for the past and doubts for the future; yet there _was_ a time +when to a suit like this you could listen favourably.--I stand high +among the nobles of the country, and offer you, as my bride, your share +in my honours, and in the wealth which becomes them.--Your brother is my +friend, and favours my suit. I will raise from the ground, and once more +render illustrious, your ancient house--your motions shall be regulated +by your wishes, even by your caprices--I will even carry my self-denial +so far, that you shall, should you insist on so severe a measure, have +your own residence, your own establishment, and without intrusion on my +part, until the most devoted love, the most unceasing attentions, shall +make way on your inflexible disposition.--All this I will consent to for +the future--all that is past shall be concealed from the public.--But +mine, Clara Mowbray, you must be." + +"Never--never!" she said with increasing vehemence. "I can but repeat a +negative, but it shall have all the force of an oath.--Your rank is +nothing to me--your fortune I scorn--my brother has no right, by the law +of Scotland, or of nature, to compel my inclinations.--I detest your +treachery, and I scorn the advantage you propose to attain by +it.--Should the law give you my hand, it would but award you that of a +corpse." + +"Alas! Clara," said the Earl, "you do but flutter in the net; but I will +urge you no farther, now--there is another encounter before me." + +He was turning away, when Clara, springing forward, caught him by the +arm, and repeated, in a low and impressive voice, the commandment,--"Thou +shalt do no murder!" + +"Fear not any violence," he said, softening his voice, and attempting to +take her hand, "but what may flow from your own severity.--Francis is +safe from me, unless you are altogether unreasonable.--Allow me but what +you cannot deny to any friend of your brother, the power of seeing you +at times--suspend at least the impetuosity of your dislike to me, and I +will, on my part, modify the current of my just and otherwise +uncontrollable resentment." + +Clara, extricating herself, and retreating from him, only replied, +"There is a Heaven above us, and THERE shall be judged our actions +towards each other! You abuse a power most treacherously obtained--you +break a heart that never did you wrong--you seek an alliance with a +wretch who only wishes to be wedded to her grave.--If my brother brings +you hither, I cannot help it--and if your coming prevents bloody and +unnatural violence, it is so far well.--But by my consent you come +_not_; and, were the choice mine, I would rather be struck with +life-long blindness, than that my eyes should again open on your +person--rather that my ears were stuffed with the earth of the grave, +than that they should again hear your voice!" + +The Earl of Etherington smiled proudly, and replied, "Even this, madam, +I can hear without resentment. Anxious and careful as you are to deprive +your compliance of every grace and of every kindness, I receive the +permission to wait on you, as I interpret your words." + +"Do not so interpret them," she replied; "I do but submit to your +presence as an unavoidable evil. Heaven be my witness, that, were it not +to prevent greater and more desperate evil, I would not even so far +acquiesce." + +"Let acquiescence, then, be the word," he said; "and so thankful will I +be, even for your acquiescence, Miss Mowbray, that all shall remain +private, which I conceive you do not wish to be disclosed; and, unless +absolutely compelled to it in self-defence, you may rely, no violence +will be resorted to by me in any quarter.--I relieve you from my +presence." + +So saying, he withdrew from the apartment. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +EXPLANATORY. + + ----By your leave, gentle wax. + +SHAKSPEARE. + + +In the hall of Shaws-Castle the Earl of Etherington met Mowbray, +returned from his fruitless chase after the bearer of the anonymous +epistle before recited; and who had but just learned, on his return, +that the Earl of Etherington was with his sister. There was a degree of +mutual confusion when they met; for Mowbray had the contents of the +anonymous letter fresh in his mind, and Lord Etherington, +notwithstanding all the coolness which he had endeavoured to maintain, +had not gone through the scene with Clara without discomposure. Mowbray +asked the Earl whether he had seen his sister, and invited him, at the +same time, to return to the parlour; and his lordship replied, in a tone +as indifferent as he could assume, that he had enjoyed the honour of the +lady's company for several minutes, and would not now intrude farther +upon Miss Mowbray's patience. + +"You have had such a reception as was agreeable, my lord, I trust?" said +Mowbray. "I hope Clara did the honours of the house with propriety +during my absence?" + +"Miss Mowbray seemed a little fluttered with my sudden appearance," said +the Earl; "the servant showed me in rather abruptly; and, circumstanced +as we were, there is always awkwardness in a first meeting, where there +is no third party to act as master of the ceremonies.--I suspect, from +the lady's looks, that you have not quite kept my secret, my good +friend. I myself, too, felt a little consciousness in approaching Miss +Mowbray--but it is over now; and, the ice being fairly broken, I hope to +have other and more convenient opportunities to improve the advantage I +have just gained in acquiring your lovely sister's personal +acquaintance." + +"So be it," said Mowbray; "but, as you declare for leaving the castle +just now, I must first speak a single word with your lordship, for which +this place is not altogether convenient." + +"I can have no objections, my dear Jack," said Etherington, following +him with a thrill of conscious feeling, somewhat perhaps like that of +the spider when he perceives his deceitful web is threatened with +injury, and sits balanced in the centre, watching every point, and +uncertain which he may be called upon first to defend. Such is one part, +and not the slightest part, of the penance which never fails to wait on +those, who, abandoning the "fair play of the world," endeavour to work +out their purposes by a process of deception and intrigue. + +"My lord," said Mowbray, when they had entered a little apartment, in +which the latter kept his guns, fishing-tackle, and other implements of +sport, "you have played on the square with me; nay, more--I am bound to +allow you have given me great odds. I am therefore not entitled to hear +any reports to the prejudice of your lordship's character, without +instantly communicating them. There is an anonymous letter which I have +just received. Perhaps your lordship may know the hand, and thus be +enabled to detect the writer." + +"I do know the hand," said the Earl, as he received the note from +Mowbray; "and, allow me to say, it is the only one which could have +dared to frame any calumny to my prejudice. I hope, Mr. Mowbray, it is +impossible for you to consider this infamous charge as any thing but a +falsehood?" + +"My placing it in your lordship's hands, without farther enquiry, is a +sufficient proof that I hold it such, my lord; at the same time that I +cannot doubt for a moment that your lordship has it in your power to +overthrow so frail a calumny by the most satisfactory evidence." + +"Unquestionably I can, Mr. Mowbray," said the Earl; "for, besides my +being in full possession of the estate and title of my father, the late +Earl of Etherington, I have my father's contract of marriage, my own +certificate of baptism, and the evidence of the whole country, to +establish my right. All these shall be produced with the least delay +possible. You will not think it surprising that one does not travel with +this sort of documents in one's post-chaise." + +"Certainly not, my lord," said Mowbray; "it is sufficient they are +forthcoming when called for. But, may I enquire, my lord, who the writer +of this letter is, and whether he has any particular spleen to gratify +by this very impudent assertion, which is so easily capable of being +disproved?" + +"He is," said Etherington, "or, at least, has the reputation of being, I +am sorry to say, a near--a very near relation of my own--in fact, a +brother by the father's side, but illegitimate.--My father was fond of +him--I loved him also, for he has uncommonly fine parts, and is +accounted highly accomplished. But there is a strain of something +irregular in his mind--a vein, in short, of madness, which breaks out in +the usual manner, rendering the poor young man a dupe to vain +imaginations of his own dignity and grandeur, which is perhaps the most +ordinary effect of insanity, and inspiring the deepest aversion against +his nearest relatives, and against myself in particular. He is a man +extremely plausible, both in speech and manners; so much so, that many +of my friends think there is more vice than insanity in the +irregularities which he commits; but I may, I hope, be forgiven, if I +have formed a milder judgment of one supposed to be my father's son. +Indeed, I cannot help being sorry for poor Frank, who might have made a +very distinguished figure in the world." + +"May I ask the gentleman's name, my lord?" said Mowbray. + +"My father's indulgence gave him our family name of Tyrrel, with his own +Christian name Francis; but his proper name, to which alone he has a +right, is Martigny." + +"Francis Tyrrel!" exclaimed Mowbray; "why, that is the name of the very +person who made some disturbance at the Well just before your lordship +arrived.--You may have seen an advertisement--a sort of placard." + +"I have, Mr. Mowbray," said the Earl. "Spare me on that subject, if you +please--it has formed a strong reason why I did not mention my connexion +with this unhappy man before; but it is no unusual thing for persons, +whose imaginations are excited, to rush into causeless quarrels, and +then to make discreditable retreats from them." + +"Or," said Mr. Mowbray, "he may have, after all, been prevented from +reaching the place of rendezvous--it was that very day on which your +lordship, I think, received your wound; and, if I mistake not, you hit +the man from whom you got the hurt." + +"Mowbray," said Lord Etherington, lowering his voice, and taking him by +the arm, "it is true that I did so--and truly glad I am to observe, +that, whatever might have been the consequences of such an accident, +they cannot have been serious.--It struck me afterwards, that the man by +whom I was so strangely assaulted, had some resemblance to the +unfortunate Tyrrel--but I had not seen him for years.--At any rate, he +cannot have been much hurt, since he is now able to resume his intrigues +to the prejudice of my character." + +"Your lordship views the thing with a firm eye," said Mowbray; "firmer +than I think most people would be able to command, who had so narrow a +chance of a scrape so uncomfortable." + +"Why, I am, in the first place, by no means sure that the risk existed," +said the Earl of Etherington; "for, as I have often told you, I had but +a very transient glimpse of the ruffian; and, in the second place, I +_am_ sure that no permanent bad consequences have ensued. I am too old a +fox-hunter to be afraid of a leap after it is cleared, as they tell of +the fellow who fainted in the morning at the sight of the precipice he +had clambered over when he was drunk on the night before. The man who +wrote that letter," touching it with his finger, "is alive, and able to +threaten me; and if he did come to any hurt from my hand, it was in the +act of attempting my life, of which I shall carry the mark to my +grave." + +"Nay, I am far from blaming your lordship," said Mowbray, "for what you +did in self-defence, but the circumstance might have turned out very +unpleasant.--May I ask what you intend to do with this unfortunate +gentleman, who is in all probability in the neighbourhood?" + +"I must first discover the place of his retreat," said Lord Etherington, +"and then consider what is to be done both for his safety, poor fellow, +and my own. It is probable, too, that he may find sharpers to prey upon +what fortune he still possesses, which, I assure you, is sufficient to +attract a set of folk, who may ruin while they humour him.--May I beg +that you, too, will be on the outlook, and let me know if you hear or +see more of him?" + +"I shall, most certainly, my lord," answered Mowbray; "but the only one +of his haunts which I know, is the old Cleikum Inn, where he chose to +take up his residence. He has now left it, but perhaps the old crab-fish +of a landlady may know something of him." + +"I will not fail to enquire," said Lord Etherington; and, with these +words, he took a kind farewell of Mowbray, mounted his horse, and rode +up the avenue. + +"A cool fellow," said Mowbray, as he looked after him, "a d--d cool +fellow, this brother-in-law of mine, that is to be--takes a shot at his +father's son with as little remorse as at a blackcock--what would he do +with me, were we to quarrel?--Well, I can snuff a candle, and strike out +the ace of hearts; and so, should things go wrong, he has no Jack Raw to +deal with, but Jack Mowbray." + +Meanwhile the Earl of Etherington hastened home to his own apartments at +the Hotel; and, not entirely pleased with the events of the day, +commenced a letter to his correspondent, agent, and confidant, Captain +Jekyl, which we have fortunately the means of presenting to our +readers.-- + + "Friend Harry,--They say a falling house is best known by the rats + leaving it--a falling state, by the desertion of confederates and + allies--and a falling man, by the desertion of his friends. If this + be true augury; your last letter may be considered as ominous of my + breaking down. Methinks, you have gone far enough, and shared deep + enough with me, to have some confidence in my _savoir faire_--some + little faith both in my means and management. What crossgrained + fiend has at once inspired you with what I suppose you wish me to + call politic doubts and scruples of conscience, but which I can only + regard as symptoms of fear and disaffection? You can have no idea of + 'duels betwixt relations so nearly connected'--and 'the affair seems + very delicate and intricate'--and again, 'the matter has never been + fully explained to you'--and, moreover, 'if you are expected to take + an active part in the business, it must be when you are honoured + with my full and unreserved confidence, otherwise how could you be + of the use to me which I might require?' Such are your expressions. + + "Now, as to scruples of conscience about near relations, and so + forth, all that has blown by without much mischief, and certainly is + not likely to occur again--besides, did you never hear of friends + quarrelling before? And are they not to exercise the usual + privileges of gentlemen when they do? Moreover, how am I to know + that this plaguy fellow _is_ actually related to me?--They say it is + a wise child knows its own father; and I cannot be expected wise + enough to know to a certainty my father's son.--So much for + relationship.--Then, as to full and unreserved confidence--why, + Harry, this is just as if I were to ask you to look at a watch, and + tell what it was o'clock, and you were to reply, that truly you + could not inform me, because you had not examined the springs, the + counter-balances, the wheels, and the whole internal machinery of + the little timepiece.--But the upshot of the whole is this. Harry + Jekyl, who is as sharp a fellow as any other, thinks he has his + friend Lord Etherington at a dead lock, and that he knows already so + much of the said noble lord's history as to oblige his lordship to + tell him the whole. And perhaps he not unreasonably concludes, that + the custody of a whole secret is more creditable, and probably more + lucrative, than that of a half one; and, in short,--he is resolved + to make the most of the cards in his hand. Another, mine honest + Harry, would take the trouble to recall to your mind past times and + circumstances, and conclude with expressing a humble opinion, that + if Harry Jekyl were asked _now_ to do any service for the noble lord + aforesaid, Harry had got his reward in his pocket aforehand. But I + do not argue thus, because I would rather be leagued with a friend + who assists me with a view to future profit, than from respect to + benefits already received. The first lies like the fox's scent when + on his last legs, increasing every moment; the other is a + back-scent, growing colder the longer you follow it, until at last + it becomes impossible to puzzle it out. I will, therefore, submit to + circumstances, and tell you the whole story, though somewhat + tedious, in hopes that I can conclude with such a trail as you will + open upon breast-high. + + "Thus then it was.--Francis, fifth Earl of Etherington, and my + much-honoured father, was what is called a very eccentric man--that + is, he was neither a wise man nor a fool--had too much sense to walk + into a well, and yet in some of the furious fits which he was + visited with, I have seen him quite mad enough to throw any one + else into it.--Men said there was a lurking insanity--but it is an + ill bird, &c., and I will say no more about it. This shatterbrained + peer was, in other respects, a handsome accomplished man, with an + expression somewhat haughty, yet singularly pleasing when he chose + it--a man, in short, who might push his fortune with the fair sex. + + "Lord Etherington, such as I have described him, being upon his + travels in France, formed an attachment of the heart--ay, and some + have pretended, of the hand also, with a certain beautiful orphan, + Marie de Martigny. Of this union is said to have sprung (for I am + determined not to be certain on that point) that most incommodious + person, Francis Tyrrel, as he calls himself, but as I would rather + call him, Francis Martigny; the latter suiting my views, as perhaps + the former name agrees better with his pretensions. Now, I am too + good a son to subscribe to the alleged regularity of the marriage + between my right honourable and very good lord father, because my + said right honourable and very good lord did, on his return to + England, become wedded, in the face of the church, to my very + affectionate and well-endowed mother, Ann Bulmer of Bulmer-hall, + from which happy union sprung I, Francis Valentine Bulmer Tyrrel, + lawful inheritor of my father and mother's joint estates, as I was + the proud possessor of their ancient names. But the noble and + wealthy pair, though blessed with such a pledge of love as myself, + lived mighty ill together, and the rather, when my right honourable + father, sending for this other Sosia, this unlucky Francis Tyrrel, + senior, from France, insisted, in the face of propriety, that he + should reside in his house, and share, in all respects, in the + opportunities of education by which the real Sosia, Francis + Valentine Bulmer Tyrrel, then commonly called Lord Oakendale, hath + profited in such an uncommon degree. + + "Various were the matrimonial quarrels which arose between the + honoured lord and lady, in consequence of this unseemly conjunction + of the legitimate and illegitimate; and to these, we, the subjects + of the dispute, were sometimes very properly, as well as decorously, + made the witnesses. On one occasion, my right honourable mother, who + was a free-spoken lady, found the language of her own rank quite + inadequate to express the strength of her generous feelings, and + borrowing from the vulgar two emphatic words, applied them to Marie + de Martigny, and her son Francis Tyrrel. Never did Earl that ever + wore coronet fly into a pitch of more uncontrollable rage, than did + my right honourable father: and in the ardour of his reply, he + adopted my mother's phraseology, to inform her, that if there _was_ + a whore and bastard connected with his house, it was herself and her + brat. + + "I was even then a sharp little fellow, and was incredibly struck + with the communication, which, in this hour of ungovernable + irritation, had escaped my right honourable father. It is true, he + instantly gathered himself up again; and, he perhaps recollecting + such a word as _bigamy_, and my mother, on her side, considering the + consequences of such a thing as a descent from the Countess of + Etherington into Mrs. Bulmer, neither wife, maid, nor widow, there + was an apparent reconciliation between them, which lasted for some + time. But the speech remained deeply imprinted on my remembrance; + the more so, that once, when I was exerting over my friend Francis + Tyrrel, the authority of a legitimate brother, and Lord Oakendale, + old Cecil, my father's confidential valet, was so much scandalized, + as to intimate a possibility that we might one day change + conditions. These two accidental communications seemed to me a key + to certain long lectures, with which my father used to regale us + boys, but me in particular, upon the extreme mutability of human + affairs,--the disappointment of the best-grounded hopes and + expectations,--and the necessity of being so accomplished in all + useful branches of knowledge, as might, in case of accidents, supply + any defalcation in our rank and fortune;--as if any art or science + could make amends for the loss of an Earldom, and twelve thousand + a-year! All this prosing seemed to my anxious mind designed to + prepare me for some unfortunate change; and when I was old enough to + make such private enquiries as lay in my power, I became still more + persuaded that my right honourable father nourished some thoughts of + making an honest woman of Marie de Martigny, and a legitimate elder + brother of Francis, after his death at least, if not during his + life. I was the more convinced of this, when a little affair, which + I chanced to have with the daughter of my Tu----, drew down my + father's wrath upon me in great abundance, and occasioned my being + banished to Scotland, along with my brother, under a very poor + allowance, without introductions, except to one steady, or call it + rusty, old Professor, and with the charge that I should not assume + the title of Lord Oakendale, but content myself with my maternal + grandfather's name of Valentine Bulmer, that of Francis Tyrrel being + pre-occupied. + + "Upon this occasion, notwithstanding the fear which I entertained of + my father's passionate temper, I did venture to say, that since I + was to resign my title, I thought I had a right to keep my family + name, and that my brother might take his mother's. I wish you had + seen the look of rage with which my father regarded me when I gave + him this spirited hint. 'Thou art,' he said, and paused, as if to + find out the bitterest epithet to supply the blank--'thou art thy + mother's child, and her perfect picture'--(this seemed the severest + reproach that occurred to him.)--'Bear her name then, and bear it + with patience and in secrecy; or, I here give you my word, you shall + never bear another the whole days of your life.' This sealed my + mouth with a witness; and then, in allusion to my flirtation with + the daughter of my Tu---- aforesaid, he enlarged on the folly and + iniquity of private marriages, warned me that in the country I was + going to, the matrimonial noose often lies hid under flowers, and + that folks find it twitched round their neck when they least expect + such a cravat; assured me, that he had very particular views for + settling Francis and me in life, and that he would forgive neither + of us who should, by any such rash entanglements, render them + unavailing. + + "This last minatory admonition was the more tolerable, that my rival + had his share of it; and so we were bundled off to Scotland, coupled + up like two pointers in a dog-cart, and--I can speak for one at + least--with much the same uncordial feelings towards each other. I + often, indeed, detected Francis looking at me with a singular + expression, as of pity and anxiety, and once or twice he seemed + disposed to enter on something respecting the situation in which we + stood towards each other; but I felt no desire to encourage his + confidence. Meantime, as we were called, by our father's directions, + not brothers, but cousins, so we came to bear towards each other the + habits of companionship, though scarcely of friendship. What Francis + thought, I know not; for my part, I must confess, that I lay by on + the watch for some opportunity when I might mend my own situation + with my father, though at the prejudice of my rival. And Fortune, + while she seemed to prevent such an opportunity, involved us both in + one of the strangest and most entangled mazes that her capricious + divinityship ever wove, and out of which I am even now struggling, + by sleight or force, to extricate myself. I can hardly help + wondering, even yet, at the odd conjunction, which has produced such + an intricacy of complicated incidents. + + "My father was a great sportsman, and Francis and I had both + inherited his taste for field-sports; but I in a keener and more + ecstatic degree. Edinburgh, which is a tolerable residence in winter + and spring, becomes disagreeable in summer, and in autumn is the + most melancholy _sejour_ that ever poor mortals were condemned to. + No public places are open, no inhabitant of any consideration + remains in the town; those who cannot get away, hide themselves in + obscure corners, as if ashamed to be seen in the streets. The gentry + go to their country-houses--the citizens to their sea-bathing + quarters--the lawyers to their circuits--the writers to visit their + country clients--and all the world to the moors to shoot grouse. We, + who felt the indignity of remaining in town during this deserted + season, obtained, with some difficulty, permission from the Earl to + betake ourselves to any obscure corner, and shoot grouse, if we + could get leave to do so on our general character of English + students at the University of Edinburgh, without quoting any thing + more. + + "The first year of our banishment we went to the neighbourhood of + the Highlands; but finding our sport interrupted by gamekeepers and + their gillies, on the second occasion we established ourselves at + this little village of St. Ronan's, where there were then no Spa, no + fine people, no card tables, no quizzes, excepting the old quiz of a + landlady with whom we lodged. We found the place much to our mind; + the old landlady had interest with some old fellow, agent of a + non-residing nobleman, who gave us permission to sport over his + moors, of which I availed myself keenly, and Francis with more + moderation. He was, indeed, of a grave musing sort of habit, and + often preferred solitary walks, in the wild and beautiful scenery + with which the village is surrounded, to the use of the gun. He was + attached to fishing, moreover, that dullest of human amusements, and + this also tended to keep us considerably apart. This gave me rather + pleasure than concern;--not that I hated Francis at that time; nay, + not that I greatly disliked his society; but merely because it was + unpleasant to be always with one, whose fortunes I looked upon as + standing in direct opposition to my own. I also rather despised the + indifference about sport, which indeed seemed to grow upon him; but + my gentleman had better taste than I was aware of. If he sought no + grouse on the hill, he had flushed a pheasant in the wood. + + "Clara Mowbray, daughter of the Lord of the more picturesque than + wealthy domain of St. Ronan's, was at that time scarce sixteen years + old, and as wild and beautiful a woodland nymph as the imagination + can fancy--simple as a child in all that concerned the world and its + ways, acute as a needle in every point of knowledge which she had + found an opportunity of becoming acquainted with; fearing harm from + no one, and with, a lively and natural strain of wit, which brought + amusement and gaiety wherever she came. Her motions were under no + restraint, save that of her own inclination; for her father, though + a cross, peevish, old man, was confined to his chair with the gout, + and her only companion, a girl of somewhat inferior caste, bred up + in the utmost deference to Miss Mowbray's fancies, served for + company indeed in her strolls through the wild country on foot and + on horseback, but never thought of interfering with her will and + pleasure. + + "The extreme loneliness of the country, (at that time,) and the + simplicity of its inhabitants, seemed to render these excursions + perfectly safe. Francis, happy dog, became the companion of the + damsels on such occasions through the following accident. Miss + Mowbray had dressed herself and her companion like country wenches, + with a view to surprise the family of one of their better sort of + farmers. They had accomplished their purpose greatly to their + satisfaction, and were hying home after sunset, when they were + encountered by a country fellow--a sort of Harry Jekyl in his + way--who, being equipped with a glass or two of whisky, saw not the + nobility of blood through her disguise, and accosted the daughter of + a hundred sires as he would have done a ewe-milker. Miss Mowbray + remonstrated--her companion screamed--up came cousin Francis with a + fowlingpiece on his shoulder, and soon put the sylvan to flight. + + "This was the beginning of an acquaintance, which had gone great + lengths before I found it out. The fair Clara, it seems, found it + safer to roam in the woods with an escort than alone, and my + studious and sentimental relative was almost her constant companion. + At their age, it was likely that some time might pass ere they came + to understand each other; but full confidence and intimacy was + established between them ere I heard of their amour. + + "And here, Harry, I must pause till next morning, and send you the + conclusion under a separate cover. The rap which I had over the + elbow the other day, is still tingling at the end of my fingers, and + you must not be critical with my manuscript." + + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +LETTER CONTINUED. + + --------Must I then ravel out + My weaved-up follies?-------- + +SHAKSPEARE. + + + "I resume my pen, Harry, to mention, without attempting to describe + my surprise, that Francis, compelled by circumstances, made me the + confidant of his love-intrigue. My grave cousin in love, and very + much in the mind of approaching the perilous verge of clandestine + marriage--he who used every now and then, not much to the + improvement of our cordial regard, to lecture me upon filial duty, + just upon the point of slipping the bridle himself! I could not for + my life tell whether surprise, or a feeling of mischievous + satisfaction, was predominant. I tried to talk to him as he used to + talk to me; but I had not the gift of persuasion, or he the power of + understanding the words of wisdom. He insisted our situation was + different--that his unhappy birth, as he termed it, freed him at + least from dependence on his father's absolute will--that he had, by + bequest from some relative of his mother, a moderate competence, + which Miss Mowbray had consented to share with him; in fine, that he + desired not my counsel but my assistance. A moment's consideration + convinced me, that I should be unkind, not to him only, but to + myself, unless I gave him all the backing I could in this his most + dutiful scheme. I recollected our right honourable father's + denunciations against Scottish marriages, and secret marriages of + all sorts,--denunciations perhaps not the less vehement, that he + might feel some secret prick of conscience on the subject himself. I + remembered that my grave brother had always been a favourite, and I + forgot not--how was it possible I could forget--those ominous + expressions, which intimated a possibility of the hereditary estate + and honours being transferred to the elder, instead of the younger + son. Now, it required no conjurer to foresee, that should Francis + commit this inexpiable crime of secretly allying himself with a + Scottish beauty, our sire would lose all wish to accomplish such a + transference in his favour; and while my brother's merits were + altogether obscured by such an unpardonable act of disobedience, my + own, no longer overshadowed by prejudice or partiality, would shine + forth in all their natural brilliancy. These considerations, which + flashed on me with the rapidity of lightning, induced me to consent + to hold Frank's back-hand, during the perilous game he proposed to + play. I had only to take care that my own share in the matter should + not be so prominent as to attract my father's attention; and this I + was little afraid of, for his wrath was usually of that vehement and + forcible character, which, like lightning, is attracted to one + single point, there bursting with violence as undivided as it was + uncontrollable. + + "I soon found the lovers needed my assistance more than I could have + supposed; for they were absolute novices in any sort of intrigue, + which to me seemed as easy and natural as lying. Francis had been + detected by some tattling spy in his walks with Clara, and the news + had been carried to old Mowbray, who was greatly incensed at his + daughter, though little knowing that her crime was greater than + admitting an unknown English student to form a personal acquaintance + with her. He prohibited farther intercourse--resolved, in + justice-of-peace phrase, to rid the country of us; and, prudently + sinking all mention of his daughter's delinquency, commenced an + action against Francis, under pretext of punishing him as an + encroacher upon his game, but in reality to scare him from the + neighbourhood. His person was particularly described to all the + keepers and satellites about Shaws-Castle, and any personal + intercourse betwixt him and Clara became impossible, except under + the most desperate risks. Nay, such was their alarm, that Master + Francis thought it prudent, for Miss Mowbray's sake, to withdraw as + far as a town called Marchthorn, and there to conceal himself, + maintaining his intercourse with Clara only by letter. + + "It was then I became the sheet-anchor of the hope of the lovers; it + was then my early dexterity and powers of contrivance were first put + to the test; and it would be too long to tell you in how many + shapes, and by how many contrivances, I acted as agent, + letter-carrier, and go-between, to maintain the intercourse of these + separated turtles. I have had a good deal of trouble in that way on + my own account, but never half so much as I took on account of this + brace of lovers. I scaled walls and swam rivers, set bloodhounds, + quarterstaves, and blunderbusses at defiance; and, excepting the + distant prospect of self-interest which I have hinted at, I was + neither to have honour nor reward for my pains. I will own to you, + that Clara Mowbray was so very beautiful--so absolutely confiding in + her lover's friend--and thrown into such close intercourse with me, + that there were times when I thought that, in conscience, she ought + not to have scrupled to have contributed a mite to reward the + faithful labourer. But then, she looked like purity itself; and I + was such a novice at that time of day, that I did not know how it + might have been possible for me to retreat, if I had made too bold + an advance--and, in short, I thought it best to content myself with + assisting true love to run smooth, in the hope that its course + would assure me, in the long-run, an Earl's title, and an Earl's + fortune. + + "Nothing was, therefore, ventured on my part which could raise + suspicion, and, as the confidential friend of the lovers, I prepared + every thing for their secret marriage. The pastor of the parish + agreed to perform the ceremony, prevailed upon by an argument which + I used to him, and which Clara, had she guessed it, would have + little thanked me for. I led the honest man to believe, that, in + declining to do his office, he might prevent a too successful lover + from doing justice to a betrayed maiden; and the parson, who, I + found, had a spice of romance in his disposition, resolved, under + such pressing circumstances, to do them the kind office of binding + them together, although the consequence might be a charge of + irregularity against himself. Old Mowbray was much confined to his + room, his daughter less watched since Frank had removed from the + neighbourhood--the brother (which, by the by, I should have said + before) not then in the country--and it was settled that the lovers + should meet at the Old Kirk of Saint Ronan's when the twilight + became deep, and go off in a chaise for England so soon as the + ceremony was performed. + + "When all this was arranged save the actual appointment of the day, + you cannot conceive the happiness and the gratitude of my sage + brother. He looked upon himself as approaching to the seventh + heaven, instead of losing his chance of a good fortune, and + encumbering himself at nineteen with a wife, and all the + probabilities of narrow circumstances, and an increasing family. + Though so much younger myself, I could not help wondering at his + extreme want of knowledge of the world, and feeling ashamed that I + had ever allowed him to take the airs of a tutor with me; and this + conscious superiority supported me against the thrill of jealousy + which always seized me when I thought of his carrying off the + beautiful prize, which, without my address, he could never have + made his own.--But at this important crisis, I had a letter from my + father, which, by some accident, had long lain at our lodgings in + Edinburgh; and then visited our former quarters in the Highlands; + again returned to Edinburgh, and at length reached me at Marchthorn + in a most critical time. + + "It was in reply to a letter of mine, in which, among other matters, + such as good boys send to their papas, descriptions of the country, + accounts of studies, exercises, and so forth, I had, to fill up the + sheet to a dutiful length, thrown in something about the family of + St. Ronan's, in the neighbourhood of which I was writing. I had no + idea what an effect the name would produce on the mind of my right + honourable father, but his letter sufficiently expressed it. He + charged me to cultivate the acquaintance of Mr. Mowbray as fast and + as intimately as possible; and, if need were, to inform him candidly + of our real character and situation in life. Wisely considering, at + the same time, that his filial admonition might be neglected if not + backed by some sufficient motive, his lordship frankly let me into + the secret of my granduncle by the mother's side, Mr. S. Mowbray of + Nettlewood's last will and testament, by which I saw, to my + astonishment and alarm, that a large and fair estate was bequeathed + to the eldest son and heir of the Earl of Etherington, on condition + of his forming a matrimonial alliance with a lady of the house of + Mowbray, of St. Ronan's.--Mercy of Heaven! how I stared! Here had I + been making every preparation for wedding Francis to the very girl, + whose hand would insure to myself wealth and independence!--And even + the first loss, though great, was not likely to be the last. My + father spoke of the marriage like a land-surveyor, but of the estate + of Nettlewood like an impassioned lover. He seemed to dote on every + acre of it, and dwelt on its contiguity to his own domains as a + circumstance which rendered the union of the estates not desirable + merely, but constituted an arrangement, pointed out by the hand of + nature. And although he observed, that, on account of the youth of + the parties, treaty of marriage could not be immediately undertaken, + it was yet clear he would approve at heart of any bold stroke which + would abolish the interval of time that might otherwise intervene, + ere Oakendale and Nettlewood became one property. + + "Here, then, were shipwrecked my fair hopes. It was clear as + sunshine, that a private marriage, unpardonable in the abstract, + would become venial, nay, highly laudable, in my father's eyes, if + it united his heir with Clara Mowbray; and if he really had, as my + fears suggested, the means of establishing legitimacy on my + brother's part, nothing was so likely to tempt him to use them, as + the certainty that, by his doing so, Nettlewood and Oakendale would + be united into one. The very catastrophe which I had prepared, as + sure to exclude my rival from his father's favour, was thus likely, + unless it could be prevented, to become a strong motive and argument + for the Earl placing his rights above mine. + + "I shut myself up in my bedroom; locked the door; read, and again + read my father's letter; and, instead of giving way to idle passion, + (beware of that, Harry, even in the most desperate circumstances,) I + considered, with keen investigation, whether some remedy could not + yet be found.--To break off the match for the time, would have been + easy--a little private information to Mr. Mowbray would have done + that with a vengeance--But then the treaty might be renewed under my + father's auspices;--at all events, the share which I had taken in + the intrigue between Clara and my brother, rendered it almost + impossible for me to become a suitor in my own person.--Amid these + perplexities, it suddenly occurred to my adventurous heart and + contriving brain--what if I should personate the bridegroom?--This + strange thought, you will recollect, occurred to a very youthful + brain--it was banished--it returned--returned again and again--was + viewed under every different shape--became familiar--was + adopted.--It was easy to fix the appointment with Clara and the + clergyman for I managed the whole correspondence--the resemblance + between Francis and me in stature and in proportion--the disguise + which we were to assume--the darkness of the church--the hurry of + the moment--might, I trusted, prevent Clara from recognising me. To + the minister I had only to say, that though I had hitherto talked of + a friend, I myself was the happy man. My first name was Francis as + well as his; and I had found Clara so gentle, so confiding, so + flatteringly cordial in her intercourse with me, that, once within + my power, and prevented from receding by shame, and a thousand + contradictory feelings, I had, with the vanity of an _amoureux de + seize ans_, the confidence to believe I could reconcile the fair + lady to the exchange. + + "There certainly never came such a thought into a madcap's brain; + and, what is more extraordinary--but that you already know--it was + so far successful, that the marriage ceremony was performed between + us in the presence of a servant of mine, Clara's accommodating + companion, and the priest.--We got into the carriage, and were a + mile from the church, when my unlucky or lucky brother stopped the + chaise by force--through what means he had obtained knowledge of my + little trick, I never have been able to learn. Solmes has been + faithful to me in too many instances, that I should suspect him in + this important crisis. I jumped out of the carriage, pitched + fraternity to the devil, and, betwixt desperation and something very + like shame, began to cut away with a couteau de chasse, which I had + provided in case of necessity.--All was in vain--I was hustled down + under the wheel of the carriage, and, the horses taking fright, it + went over my body. + + "Here ends my narrative; for I neither heard not saw more until I + found myself stretched on a sick-bed many miles from the scene of + action, and Solmes engaged in attending on me. In answer to my + passionate enquiries, he briefly informed me, that Master Francis + had sent back the young lady to her own dwelling, and that she + appeared to be extremely ill in consequence of the alarm she had + sustained. My own health, he assured me, was considered as very + precarious, and added, that Tyrrel, who was in the same house, was + in the utmost perturbation on my account. The very mention of his + name brought on a crisis in which I brought up much blood; and it is + singular that the physician who attended me--a grave gentleman, with + a wig--considered that this was of service to me. I know it + frightened me heartily, and prepared me for a visit from Master + Frank, which I endured with a tameness he would not have + experienced, had the usual current of blood flowed in my veins. But + sickness and the lancet make one very tolerant of sermonizing.--At + last, in consideration of being relieved from his accursed presence, + and the sound of his infernally calm voice, I slowly and reluctantly + acquiesced in an arrangement, by which he proposed that we should + for ever bid adieu to each other, and to Clara Mowbray. I would have + hesitated at this last stipulation. 'She was,' I said, 'my wife, and + I was entitled to claim her as such.' + + "This drew down a shower of most moral reproaches, and an assurance + that Clara disowned and detested my alliance; and that where there + had been an essential error in the person, the mere ceremony could + never be accounted binding by the law of any Christian country. I + wonder this had not occurred to me; but my ideas of marriage were + much founded on plays and novels, where such devices as I had + practised are often resorted to for winding up the plot, without any + hint of their illegality; besides, I had confided, as I mentioned + before, a little too rashly perhaps, in my own powers of persuading + so young a bride as Clara to be contented with one handsome fellow + instead of another. + + "Solmes took up the argument, when Francis released me by leaving + the room. He spoke of my father's resentment, should this enterprise + reach his ears--of the revenge of Mowbray of St. Ronan's, whose + nature was both haughty and rugged--of risk from the laws of the + country, and God knows what bugbears besides, which, at a more + advanced age, I would have laughed at. In a word, I sealed the + capitulation, vowed perpetual absence, and banished myself, as they + say in this country, forth of Scotland. + + "And here, Harry, observe and respect my genius. Every circumstance + was against me in this negotiation. I had been the aggressor in the + war; I was wounded, and, it might be said, a prisoner in my + antagonist's hands; yet I could so far avail myself of Monsieur + Martigny's greater eagerness for peace, that I clogged the treaty + with a condition highly advantageous to myself, and equally + unfavourable to him.--Said Mr. Francis Martigny was to take upon + himself the burden of my right honourable father's displeasure; and + our separation, which was certain to give immense offence, was to be + represented as his work, not as mine. I insisted, tender-hearted, + dutiful soul, as I was, that I would consent to no measure which was + to bring down papa's displeasure. This was a _sine qua non_ in our + negotiation. + + 'Voila ce que c'est d'avoir des talens!' + + "Monsieur Francis would, I suppose, have taken the world on his + shoulders, to have placed an eternal separation betwixt his + turtledove and the falcon who had made so bold a pounce at + her.--What he wrote to my father, I know not; as for myself, in all + duty, I represented the bad state of my health from an accident, and + that my brother and companion having been suddenly called from me + by some cause which he had not explained, I had thought it necessary + to get to London for the best advice, and only waited his lordship's + permission to return to the paternal mansion. This I soon received, + and found, as I expected, that he was in towering wrath against my + brother for his disobedience; and, after some time, I even had + reason to think, (as how could it be otherwise, Harry?) that, on + becoming better acquainted with the merits and amiable manners of + his apparent heir, he lost any desire which he might formerly have + entertained, of accomplishing any change in my circumstances in + relation to the world. Perhaps the old peer turned a little ashamed + of his own conduct, and dared not aver to the congregation of the + righteous, (for he became saintly in his latter days,) the very + pretty frolics which he seems to have been guilty of in his youth. + Perhaps, also, the death of my right honourable mother operated in + my favour, since, while she lived, my chance was the worse--there is + no saying what a man will do to spite his wife.--Enough, he + died--slept with his right honourable fathers, and I became, without + opposition, Right Honourable in his stead. + + "How I have borne my new honours, thou, Harry, and our merry set, + know full well. Newmarket and Tattersal's may tell the rest. I think + I have been as lucky as most men where luck is most prized, and so I + shall say no more on that subject. + + "And now, Harry, I will suppose thee in a moralizing mood; that is, + I will fancy the dice have run wrong--or your double-barrel has hung + fire--or a certain lady has looked cross--or any such weighty cause + of gravity has occurred, and you give me the benefit of your + seriousness.--'My dear Etherington,' say you pithily, 'you are a + precious fool!--Here you are, stirring up a business rather + scandalous in itself, and fraught with mischief to all concerned--a + business which might sleep for ever, if you let it alone, but which + is sure, like a sea-coal fire, to burst into a flame if you go on + poking it. I would like to ask your lordship only two + questions,'--say you, with your usual graceful attitude of adjusting + your perpendicular shirt-collar, and passing your hand over the knot + of your cravat, which deserves a peculiar place in the + _Tietania_[II-A][II-5]--'only two questions--that is, Whether you do + not repent the past, and whether you do not fear the future?' Very + comprehensive queries, these of yours, Harry; for they respect both + the time past and the time to come--one's whole life, in short. + However, I shall endeavour to answer them as well as I may. + + "Repent the past, said you?--Yes, Harry, I think I do repent the + past--that is, not quite in the parson's style of repentance, which + resembles yours when you have a headache, but as I would repent a + hand at cards which I had played on false principles. I should have + begun with the young lady--availed myself in a very different manner + of Monsieur Martigny's absence, and my own intimacy with her, and + thus superseded him, if possible, in the damsel's affections. The + scheme I adopted, though there was, I think, both boldness and + dexterity in it, was that of a novice of premature genius, who could + not calculate chances. So much for repentance.--Do I not fear the + future?--Harry, I will not cut your throat for supposing you to have + put the question, but calmly assure you, that I never feared any + thing in my life. I was born without the sensation, I believe; at + least, it is perfectly unknown to me. When I felt that cursed wheel + pass across my breast, when I felt the pistol-ball benumb my arm, I + felt no more agitation than at the bounce of a champagne-cork. But I + would not have you think that I am fool enough to risk plague, + trouble, and danger, all of which, besides considerable expense, I + am now prepared to encounter, without some adequate motive,--and + here it is. + + "From various quarters, hints, rumours, and surmises have reached + me, that an attack will be made on my rank and status in society, + which can only be in behalf of this fellow Martigny, (for I will not + call him by his stolen name of Tyrrel.) Now, this I hold to be a + breach of the paction betwixt us, by which--that is, by that which I + am determined to esteem its true meaning and purport--he was to + leave my right honourable father and me to settle our own matters + without his interference, which amounted to a virtual resignation of + his rights, if the scoundrel ever had any. Can he expect I am to + resign my wife, and what is a better thing, old Scrogie Mowbray's + estate of Nettlewood, to gratify the humour of a fellow who sets up + claims to my title and whole property? No, by ----! If he assails me + in a point so important, I will retaliate upon him in one where he + will feel as keenly; and that he may depend upon.--And now, + methinks, you come upon me with a second edition of your grave + remonstrances, about family feuds, unnatural rencontres, offence to + all the feelings of all the world, et cetera, et cetera, which you + might usher in most delectably with the old stave about brethren + dwelling together in unity. I will not stop to enquire, whether all + these delicate apprehensions are on account of the Earl of + Etherington, his safety, and his reputation; or whether my friend + Harry Jekyl be not considering how far his own interference with + such a naughty business will be well taken at Head-quarters; and so, + without pausing on that question, I shall barely and briefly say, + that you cannot be more sensible than I am of the madness of + bringing matters to such an extremity--I have no such intention, I + assure you, and it is with no such purpose that I invite you + here.--Were I to challenge Martigny, he would refuse me the + meeting; and all less ceremonious ways of arranging such an affair + are quite old-fashioned. + + "It is true, at our first meeting, I was betrayed into the scrape I + told you of--just as you may have shot (or shot _at_, for I think + you are no downright hitter) a hen-pheasant, when flushed within + distance, by a sort of instinctive movement, without reflecting on + the enormity you are about to commit. The truth is, there is an + ignis fatuus influence, which seems to govern our house--it poured + its wildfire through my father's veins--it has descended to me in + full vigour, and every now and then its impulse is irresistible. + There was my enemy, and here were my pistols, was all I had time to + think about the matter. But I will be on my guard in future, the + more surety, as I cannot receive any provocation from him; on the + contrary, if I must confess the truth, though I was willing to gloss + it a little in my first account of the matter, (like the Gazette, + when recording a defeat,) I am certain he would never voluntarily + have fired at me, and that his pistol went off as he fell. You know + me well enough to be assured, that I will never be again in the + scrape of attacking an unresisting antagonist, were he ten times my + brother. + + "Then, as to this long tirade about hating my brother--Harry, I do + not hate him more than the first-born of Egypt are in general hated + by those whom they exclude from entailed estates, and so forth--not + one lauded man in twenty of us that is not hated by his younger + brothers, to the extent of wishing him quiet in his grave, as an + abominable stumbling-block in their path of life; and so far only do + I hate Monsieur Martigny. But for the rest, I rather like him as + otherwise; and would he but die, would give my frank consent to his + being canonized: and while he lives, I am not desirous that he + should be exposed to any temptation from rank and riches, those + main obstacles to the self-denying course of life, by which the + odour of sanctity is attained. + + "Here again you break in with your impertinent queries--If I have no + purpose of quarrelling personally with Martigny, why do I come into + collision with him at all?--why not abide by the treaty of + Marchthorn, and remain in England, without again approaching Saint + Ronan's, or claiming my maiden bride? + + "Have I not told you, I want him to cease all threatened attempts + upon my fortune and dignity? Have I not told you, that I want to + claim my wife, Clara Mowbray, and my estate of Nettlewood, fairly + won by marrying her?--And, to let you into the whole secret, though + Clara is a very pretty woman, yet she goes for so little in the + transaction with me, her animpassioned bridegroom, that I hope to + make some relaxation of my rights over her the means of obtaining + the concessions which I think most important. + + "I will not deny, that an aversion to awakening bustle, and + encountering reproach, has made me so slow in looking after my + interest, that the period will shortly expire, within which I ought, + by old Scrog Mowbray's will, to qualify myself for becoming his + heir, by being the accepted husband of Miss Mowbray of St. Ronan's. + Time was--time is--and, if I catch it not by the forelock as it + passes, time will be no more--Nettlewood will be forfeited--and if I + have in addition a lawsuit for my title, and for Oakendale, I run a + risk of being altogether capotted. I must, therefore, act at all + risks, and act with vigour--and this is the general plan of my + campaign, subject always to be altered according to circumstances. I + have obtained--I may say purchased--Mowbray's consent to address his + sister. I have this advantage, that if she agrees to take me, she + will for ever put a stop to all disagreeable reports and + recollections, founded on her former conduct. In that case I secure + the Nettlewood property, and am ready to wage war for my paternal + estate. Indeed, I firmly believe, that should this happy + consummation take place, Monsieur Martigny will be too much + heart-broken to make further fight, but will e'en throw helve after + hatchet, and run to hide himself, after the fashion of a true lover, + in some desert beyond seas. + + "But supposing the lady has the bad taste to be obstinate, and will + none of me, I still think that her happiness, or her peace of mind, + will be as dear to Martigny, as Gibraltar is to the Spaniards, and + that he will sacrifice a great deal to induce me to give up my + pretensions. Now, I shall want some one to act as my agent in + communicating with this fellow; for I will not deny that my old + appetite for cutting his throat may awaken suddenly, were I to hold + personal intercourse with him. Come thou, therefore, without delay, + and hold my back-hand--Come, for you know me, and that I never left + a kindness unrewarded. To be specific, you shall have means to pay + off a certain inconvenient mortgage, without troubling the tribe of + Issachar, if you will be but true to me in this matter--Come, + therefore, without further apologies or further delay. There shall, + I give you my word, neither be risk or offence in the part of the + drama which I intend to commit to your charge. + + "Talking of the drama, we had a miserable attempt at a sort of + bastard theatricals, at Mowbray's rat-gnawed mansion. There were two + things worth noticing--One, that I lost all the courage on which I + pique myself, and fairly fled from the pit, rather than present + myself before Miss Clara Mowbray, when it came to the push. And upon + this I pray you to remark, that I am a person of singular delicacy + and modesty, instead of being the Drawcansir and Daredevil that you + would make of me. The other memorabile is of a more delicate nature, + respecting the conduct of a certain fair lady, who seemed determined + to fling herself at my head. There is a wonderful degree of + freemasonry among us folk of spirit; and it is astonishing how soon + we can place ourselves on a footing with neglected wives and + discontented daughters. If you come not soon, one of the rewards + held out to you in my former letter, will certainly not be + forthcoming. No schoolboy keeps gingerbread, for his comrade, + without feeling a desire to nibble at it; so, if you appear not to + look after your own interest, say you had fair warning. For my own + part, I am rather embarrassed than gratified by the prospect of such + an affair, when I have on the tapis another of a different nature. + This enigma I will explain at meeting. + + "Thus finishes my long communication. If my motives of action do not + appear explicit, think in what a maze fortune has involved me, and + how much must necessarily depend on the chapter of accidents. + + "Yesterday I may be said to have opened my siege, for I presented + myself before Clara. I had no very flattering reception--that was of + little consequence, for I did not expect one. By alarming her fears, + I made an impression thus far, that she acquiesces in my appearing + before her as her brother's guest, and this is no small point + gained. She will become accustomed to look on me, and will remember + with less bitterness the trick which I played her formerly; while I, + on the other hand, by a similar force of habit, will get over + certain awkward feelings with which I have been compunctiously + visited whenever I look upon her.--Adieu! Health and brotherhood. + + "Thine, + "ETHERINGTON." + +FOOTNOTE: + +[II-5] See Editor's Notes at the end of the Volume. Wherever a similar +reference occurs, the reader will understand that the same direction +applies. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +THE REPLY. + + Thou bear'st a precious burden, gentle post, + Nitre and sulphur--See that it explode not! + +_Old Play._ + + + "I have received your two long letters, my dear Etherington, with + equal surprise and interest; for what I knew of your Scottish + adventures before, was by no means sufficient to prepare me for a + statement so perversely complicated. The Ignis Fatuus which, you + say, governed your father, seems to have ruled the fortunes of your + whole house, there is so much eccentricity in all that you have told + me. But _n'importe_, Etherington, you were my friend--you held me up + when I was completely broken down; and, whatever you may think, my + services are at your command much more from reflections on the past, + than hopes for the future. I am no speechmaker, but this you may + rely on while I continue to be Harry Jekyl. You have deserved some + love at my hands, Etherington, and you have it. + + "Perhaps I love you the better since your perplexities have become + known to me; for, my dear Etherington, you were before too much an + object of envy to be entirely an object of affection. What a happy + fellow! was the song of all who named you. Bank, and a fortune to + maintain it--luck sufficient to repair all the waste that you could + make in your income, and skill to back that luck, or supply it + should it for a moment fail you.--The cards turning up as if to + your wish--the dice rolling, it almost seemed, at your wink--it was + rather your look than the touch of your cue that sent the ball into + the pocket. You seemed to have fortune in chains, and a man of less + honour would have been almost suspected of helping his luck by a + little art.--You won every bet; and the instant that you were + interested, one might have named the winning horse--it was always + that which you were to gain most by.--You never held out your piece + but the game went down--and then the women!--with face, manners, + person, and, above all, your tongue--what wild work have you made + among them!--Good heaven! and have you had the old sword hanging + over your head by a horsehair all this while?--Has your rank been + doubtful?--Your fortune unsettled?--And your luck, so constant in + every thing else, has that, as well as your predominant influence + with the women, failed you, when you wished to form a connexion for + life, and when the care of your fortune required you to do + so?--Etherington, I am astonished!--The Mowbray scrape I always + thought an inconvenient one, as well as the quarrel with this same + Tyrrel, or Martigny; but I was far from guessing the complicated + nature of your perplexities. + + "But I must not run on in a manner which, though it relieves my own + marvelling mind, cannot be very pleasant to you. Enough, I look on + my obligations to you as more light to be borne, now I have some + chance of repaying them to a certain extent; but, even were the full + debt paid, I would remain as much attached to you as ever. It is + your friend who speaks, Etherington; and, if he offers his advice in + somewhat plain language, do not, I entreat you, suppose that your + confidence has encouraged an offensive familiarity, but consider me + as one who, in a weighty matter, writes plainly, to avoid the least + chance of misconstruction. + + "Etherington, your conduct hitherto has resembled anything rather + than the coolness and judgment which are so peculiarly your own + when you choose to display them. I pass over the masquerade of your + marriage--it was a boy's trick, which could hardly have availed you + much, even if successful; for what sort of a wife would you have + acquired, had this same Clara Mowbray proved willing to have + accepted the change which you had put upon her, and transferred + herself, without repugnance, from one bridegroom to another?--Poor + as I am, I know that neither Nettlewood nor Oakendale should have + bribed me to marry such a ---- I cannot decorously fill up the + blank. + + "Neither, my dear Etherington, can I forgive you the trick you put + on the clergyman, in whose eyes you destroyed the poor girl's + character to induce him to consent to perform the ceremony, and have + thereby perhaps fixed an indelible stain on her for life--this was + not a fair _ruse de guerre_.--As it is, you have taken little by + your stratagem--unless, indeed, it should be difficult for the young + lady to prove the imposition put upon her--for that being admitted, + the marriage certainly goes for nothing. At least, the only use you + can make of it, would be to drive her into a more formal union, for + fear of having this whole unpleasant discussion brought into a court + of law; and in this, with all the advantages you possess, joined to + your own arts of persuasion, and her brother's influence, I should + think you very likely to succeed. All women are necessarily the + slaves of their reputation. I have known some who have given up + their virtue to preserve their character, which is, after all, only + the shadow of it. I therefore would not conceive it difficult for + Clara Mowbray to persuade herself to become a countess, rather than + be the topic of conversation for all Britain, while a lawsuit + betwixt you is in dependence; and that may be for the greater part + of both your lives. + + "But, in Miss Mowbray's state of mind, it may require time to bring + her to such a conclusion; and I fear you will be thwarted in your + operations by your rival--I will not offend you by calling him your + brother. Now, it is here that I think with pleasure I may be of some + use to you,--under this special condition, that there shall be no + thoughts of farther violence taking place between you. However you + may have smoothed over your rencontre to yourself, there is no doubt + that the public would have regarded any accident which might have + befallen on that occasion, as a crime of the deepest dye, and that + the law would have followed it with the most severe punishment. And + for all that I have said of my serviceable disposition, I would fain + stop short on this side of the gallows--my neck is too long already. + Without a jest, Etherington, you must be ruled by counsel in this + matter. I detect your hatred to this man in every line of your + letter, even when you write with the greatest coolness; even where + there is an affectation of gaiety, I read your sentiments on this + subject; and they are such as--I will not preach to you--I will not + say a good man--but such as every wise man--every man who wishes to + live on fair terms with the world, and to escape general + malediction, and perhaps a violent death, where all men will clap + their hands and rejoice at the punishment of the fratricide,--would, + with all possible speed, eradicate from his breast. My services + therefore, if they are worth your acceptance, are offered on the + condition that this unholy hatred be subdued with the utmost force + of your powerful mind, and that you avoid every thing which can + possibly lead to such a catastrophe as you have twice narrowly + escaped. I do not ask you to like this man, for I know well the deep + root which your prejudices hold in your mind; I merely ask you to + avoid him, and to think of him as one, who, if you do meet him, can + never be the object of personal resentment. + + "On these conditions, I will instantly join you at your Spa, and + wait but your answer to throw myself into the post-chaise. I will + seek out this Martigny for you, and I have the vanity to think I + shall be able to persuade him to take the course which his own true + interest, as well as yours, so plainly points out--and that is, to + depart and make us free of him. You must not grudge a round sum of + money, should that prove necessary--we must make wings for him to + fly with, and I must be empowered by you to that purpose. I cannot + think you have any thing serious to fear from a lawsuit. Your father + threw out this sinister hint at a moment when he was enraged at his + wife, and irritated by his son; and I have little doubt that his + expressions were merely flashes of anger at the moment, though I see + they have made a deep impression on you. At all events, he spoke of + a preference to his illegitimate son, as something which it was in + his own power to give or to withhold; and he has died without + bestowing it. The family seem addicted to irregular matrimony, and + some left-handed marriage there may have been used to propitiate the + modesty, and save the conscience, of the French lady; but, that any + thing of the nature of a serious and legal ceremony took place, + nothing but the strongest proof can make me believe. + + "I repeat, then, that I have little doubt that the claims of + Martigny, whatever they are, may be easily compounded, and England + made clear of him. This will be more easily done, if he really + entertains such a romantic passion, as you describe, for Miss Clara + Mowbray. It would be easy to show him, that whether she is disposed + to accept your lordship's hand or not, her quiet and peace of mind + must depend on his leaving the country. Rely on it, I shall find out + the way to smooth him down, and whether distance or the grave divide + Martigny and you, is very little to the purpose; unless in so far as + the one point can be attained with honour and safety, and the other, + if attempted, would only make all concerned the subject of general + execration and deserved punishment.--Speak the word, and I attend + you, as your truly grateful and devoted + + "HENRY JEKYL." + +To this admonitory epistle, the writer received, in the course of post, +the following answer:-- + + "My truly grateful and devoted Henry Jekyl has adopted a tone, which + seems to be exalted without any occasion. Why, thou suspicious + monitor, have I not repeated a hundred times that I repent sincerely + of the foolish rencontre, and am determined to curb my temper, and + be on my guard in future--And what need you come upon me, with your + long lesson about execration, and punishment, and fratricide, and so + forth?--You deal with an argument as a boy does with the first hare + he shoots, which he never thinks dead till he has fired the second + barrel into her. What a fellow you would have been for a lawyer! how + long you would have held forth upon the plainest cause, until the + poor bothered judge was almost willing to decide against justice, + that he might be revenged on you. If I must repeat what I have said + twenty times, I tell you I have no thoughts of proceeding with this + fellow as I would with another. If my father's blood be in his + veins, it shall save the skin his mother gave him. And so come, + without more parade, either of stipulation or argument. Thou art, + indeed, a curious animal! One would think, to read your + communication, that you had yourself discovered the propriety of + acting as a negotiator, and the reasons which might, in the course + of such a treaty, be urged with advantage to induce this fellow to + leave the country--Why, this is the very course chalked out in my + last letter! You are bolder than the boldest gipsy, for you not only + steal my ideas, and disfigure them that they may pass for yours, but + you have the assurance to come a-begging with them to the door of + the original parent! No man like you for stealing other men's + inventions, and cooking them up in your own way. However, Harry, + bating a little self-conceit and assumption, thou art as honest a + fellow as ever man put faith in--clever, too, in your own style, + though not quite the genius you would fain pass for.--Come on thine + own terms, and come as speedily as thou canst. I do not reckon the + promise I made the less binding, that you very generously make no + allusion to it. + + "Thine, + "ETHERINGTON. + + "P.S. One single caution I must add--do not mention my name to any + one at Harrowgate, or your prospect of meeting me, or the route + which you are about to take. On the purpose of your journey, it is + unnecessary to recommend silence. I know not whether such doubts are + natural to all who have secret measures to pursue, or whether nature + has given me an unusual share of anxious suspicion; but I cannot + divest myself of the idea, that I am closely watched by some one + whom I cannot discover. Although I concealed my purpose of coming + hither from all mankind but you, whom I do not for an instant + suspect of blabbing, yet it was known to this Martigny, and he is + down here before me. Again, I said not a word--gave not a hint to + any one of my views towards Clara, yet the tattling people here had + spread a report of a marriage depending between us, even before I + could make the motion to her brother. To be sure, in such society + there is nothing talked of but marrying and giving in marriage; and + this, which alarms me, as connected with my own private purposes, + may be a bare rumour, arising out of the gossip of the place--Yet I + feel like the poor woman in the old story, who felt herself watched + by an eye that glared upon her from behind the tapestry. + + "I should have told you in my last, that I had been recognised at a + public entertainment by the old clergyman, who pronounced the + matrimonial blessing on Clara and me, nearly eight years ago. He + insisted upon addressing me by the name of Valentine Bulmer, under + which I was then best known. It did not suit me at present to put + him into my confidence, so I cut him, Harry, as I would an old + pencil. The task was the less difficult, that I had to do with one + of the most absent men that ever dreamed with his eyes open. I + verily believe he might be persuaded that the whole transaction was + a vision, and that he had never in reality seen me before. Your + pious rebuke, therefore, about what I told him formerly concerning + the lovers, is quite thrown away. After all, if what I said was not + accurately true, as I certainly believe it was an exaggeration, it + was all Saint Francis of Martigny's fault, I suppose. I am sure he + had love and opportunity on his side. + + "Here you have a postscript, Harry, longer than the letter, but it + must conclude with the same burden--Come, and come quickly." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE FRIGHT. + + As shakes the bough of trembling leaf, + When sudden whirlwinds rise; + As stands aghast the warrior chief, + When his base army flies. + . . . . . . + + +It had been settled by all who took the matter into consideration, that +the fidgety, fiery, old Nabob would soon quarrel with his landlady, Mrs. +Dods, and become impatient of his residence at St. Ronan's. A man so +kind to himself, and so inquisitive about the affairs of others, could +have, it was supposed, a limited sphere for gratification either of his +tastes or of his curiosity, in the Aultoun of St. Ronan's: and many a +time the precise day and hour of his departure were fixed by the idlers +at the Spa. But still old Touchwood appeared amongst them when the +weather permitted, with his nut-brown visage, his throat carefully +wrapped up in an immense Indian kerchief, and his gold-headed cane, +which he never failed to carry over his shoulder; his short, but stout +limbs, and his active step, showing plainly that he bore it rather as a +badge of dignity than a means of support. There he stood, answering +shortly and gruffly to all questions proposed to him, and making his +remarks aloud upon the company, with great indifference as to the +offence which plight be taken; and as soon as the ancient priestess had +handed him his glass of the salutiferous water, turned on his heel with +a brief good-morning, and either marched back to hide himself in the +Manse, with his crony Mr. Cargill, or to engage in some hobby-horsical +pursuit connected with his neighbours in the Aultoun. + +The truth was, that the honest gentleman having, so far as Mrs. Dods +would permit, put matters to rights within her residence, wisely +abstained from pushing his innovations any farther, aware that it is not +every stone which is capable of receiving the last degree of polish. He +next set himself about putting Mr. Cargill's house into order; and +without leave asked or given by that reverend gentleman, he actually +accomplished as wonderful a reformation in the Manse, as could have been +effected by a benevolent Brownie. The floors were sometimes swept--the +carpets were sometimes shaken--the plates and dishes were cleaner--there +was tea and sugar in the tea-chest, and a joint of meat at proper times +was to be found in the larder. The elder maid-servant wore a good stuff +gown--the younger snooded up her hair, and now went about the house a +damsel so trig and neat, that some said she was too handsome for the +service of a bachelor divine; and others, that they saw no business so +old a fool as the Nabob had to be meddling with a lassie's busking. But +for such evil bruits Mr. Touchwood cared not, even if he happened to +hear of them, which was very doubtful. Add to all these changes, that +the garden was weeded, and the glebe was regularly laboured. + +The talisman by which all this desirable alteration was wrought, +consisted partly in small presents, partly in constant attention. The +liberality of the singular old gentleman gave him a perfect right to +scold when he saw things wrong; the domestics, who had fallen into total +sloth and indifference, began to exert themselves under Mr. Touchwood's +new system of rewards and surveillance; and the minister, half +unconscious of the cause, reaped the advantage of the exertions of his +busy friend. Sometimes he lifted his head, when he heard workmen +thumping and bouncing in the neighbourhood of his study, and demanded +the meaning of the clatter which annoyed him; but on receiving for +answer that it was by order of Mr. Touchwood, he resumed his labours, +under the persuasion that all was well. + +But even the Augean task of putting the Manse in order, did not satisfy +the gigantic activity of Mr. Touchwood. He aspired to universal dominion +in the Aultoun of St. Ronan's; and, like most men of an ardent temper, +he contrived, in a great measure, to possess himself of the authority +which he longed after. Then was there war waged by him with all the +petty, but perpetual nuisances, which infest a Scottish town of the old +stamp--then was the hereditary dunghill, which had reeked before the +window of the cottage for fourscore years, transported behind the +house--then was the broken wheelbarrow, or unserviceable cart, removed +out of the footpath--the old hat, or blue petticoat, taken from the +window into which it had been stuffed, to "expel the winter's flaw," was +consigned to the gutter, and its place supplied by good perspicuous +glass. The means by which such reformation was effected, were the same +as resorted to in the Manse--money and admonition. The latter given +alone would have met little attention--perhaps would have provoked +opposition--but, softened and sweetened by a little present to assist +the reform recommended, it sunk into the hearts of the hearers, and in +general overcame their objections. Besides, an opinion of the Nabob's +wealth was high among the villagers; and an idea prevailed amongst them, +that, notwithstanding his keeping no servants or equipage, he was able +to purchase, if he pleased, half the land in the country. It was not +grand carriages and fine liveries that made heavy purses, they rather +helped to lighten them; and they said, who pretended to know what they +were talking about, that old Turnpenny, and Mr. Bindloose to boot, would +tell down more money on Mr. Touchwood's mere word, than upon the joint +bond of half the fine folk at the Well. Such an opinion smoothed every +thing before the path of one, who showed himself neither averse to give +nor to lend; and it by no means diminished the reputation of his wealth, +that in transactions of business he was not carelessly negligent of his +interest, but plainly showed he understood the value of what he was +parting with. Few, therefore, cared to withstand the humours of a +whimsical old gentleman, who had both the will and the means of obliging +those disposed to comply with his fancies; and thus the singular +stranger contrived, in the course of a brief space of days or weeks, to +place the villagers more absolutely at his devotion, than they had been +to the pleasure of any individual since their ancient lords had left the +Aultoun. The power of the baron-bailie himself, though the office was +vested in the person of old Meiklewham, was a subordinate jurisdiction, +compared to the voluntary allegiance which the inhabitants paid to Mr. +Touchwood. + +There were, however, recusants, who declined the authority thus set up +amongst them, and, with the characteristic obstinacy of their +countrymen, refused to hearken to the words of the stranger, whether +they were for good or for evil. These men's dunghills were not removed, +nor the stumbling-blocks taken from the footpath, where it passed the +front of their houses. And it befell, that while Mr. Touchwood was most +eager in abating the nuisances of the village, he had very nearly +experienced a frequent fate of great reformers--that of losing his life +by means of one of those enormities which as yet had subsisted in spite +of all his efforts. + +The Nabob finding his time after dinner hang somewhat heavy on his hand, +and the moon being tolerably bright, had, one harvest evening, sought +his usual remedy for dispelling ennui by a walk to the Manse, where he +was sure, that, if he could not succeed in engaging the minister himself +in some disputation, he would at least find something in the +establishment to animadvert upon and to restore to order. + +Accordingly, he had taken the opportunity to lecture the younger of the +minister's lasses upon the duty of wearing shoes and stockings; and, as +his advice came fortified by a present of six pair of white cotton hose, +and two pair of stout leathern shoes, it was received, not with respect +only, but with gratitude, and the chuck under the chin that rounded up +the oration, while she opened the outer door for his honour, was +acknowledged with a blush and a giggle. Nay, so far did Grizzy carry her +sense of Mr. Touchwood's kindness, that, observing the moon was behind a +cloud, she very carefully offered to escort him to the Cleikum Inn with +a lantern, in case he should come to some harm by the gate. This the +traveller's independent spirit scorned to listen to; and, having briefly +assured her that he had walked the streets of Paris and of Madrid whole +nights without such an accommodation, he stoutly strode off on his +return to his lodgings. + +An accident, however, befell him, which, unless the police of Madrid and +Paris be belied, might have happened in either of those two splendid +capitals, as well as in the miserable Aultoun of St. Ronan's. Before the +door of Saunders Jaup, a feuar of some importance, "who held his land +free, and caredna a bodle for any one," yawned that odoriferous gulf, +ycleped, in Scottish phrase, the jawhole; in other words, an uncovered +common sewer. The local situation of this receptacle of filth was well +known to Mr. Touchwood; for Saunders Jaup was at the very head of those +who held out for the practices of their fathers, and still maintained +those ancient and unsavoury customs which our traveller had in so many +instances succeeded in abating. Guided, therefore, by his nose, the +Nabob made a considerable circuit to avoid the displeasure and danger of +passing this filthy puddle at the nearest, and by that means fell upon +Scylla as he sought to avoid Charybdis. In plain language, he approached +so near the bank of a little rivulet, which in that place passed betwixt +the footpath and the horse-road, that he lost his footing, and fell into +the channel of the streamlet from a height of three or four feet. It was +thought that the noise of his fall, or at least his call for assistance, +must have been heard in the house of Saunders Jaup; but that honest +person was, according to his own account, at that time engaged in the +exercise of the evening; an excuse which passed current, although +Saunders was privately heard to allege, that the town would have been +the quieter, "if the auld, meddling busybody had bidden still in the +burn for gude and a'." + +But Fortune had provided better for poor Touchwood, whose foibles, as +they arose out of the most excellent motives, would have ill deserved so +severe a fate. A passenger, who heard him shout for help, ventured +cautiously to the side of the bank, down which he had fallen; and, after +ascertaining the nature of the ground as carefully as the darkness +permitted, was at length, and not without some effort, enabled to assist +him out of the channel of the rivulet. + +"Are you hurt materially?" said this good Samaritan to the object of his +care. + +"No--no--d--n it--no," said Touchwood, extremely angry at his disaster, +and the cause of it. "Do you think I, who have been at the summit of +Mount Athos, where the precipice sinks a thousand feet on the sea, care +a farthing about such a fall as this is?" + +But, as he spoke, he reeled, and his kind assistant caught him by the +arm to prevent his falling. + +"I fear you are more hurt than you suppose, sir," said the stranger: +"permit me to go home along with you." + +"With all my heart," said Touchwood; "for though it is impossible I can +need help in such a foolish matter, yet I am equally obliged to you, +friend; and if the Cleikum Inn be not out of your road, I will take your +arm so far, and thank you to the boot." + +"It is much at your service, sir," said the stranger; "indeed, I was +thinking to lodge there for the night." + +"I am glad to hear it," resumed Touchwood; "you shall be my guest, and I +will make them look after you in proper fashion--You seem to be a very +civil sort of fellow, and I do not find your arm inconvenient--it is the +rheumatism makes me walk so ill--the pest of all that have been in hot +climates when they settle among these d--d fogs." + +"Lean as hard and walk as slow as you will, sir," said the benevolent +assistant--"this is a rough street." + +"Yes, sir--and why is it rough?" answered Touchwood. "Why, because the +old pig-headed fool, Saunders Jaup, will not allow it to be made smooth. +There he sits, sir, and obstructs all rational improvement; and, if a +man would not fall into his infernal putrid gutter, and so become an +abomination to himself and odious to others, for his whole life to come, +he runs the risk of breaking his neck, as I have done to-night." + +"I am afraid, sir," said his companion, "you have fallen on the most +dangerous side.--You remember Swift's proverb, 'The more dirt, the less +hurt.'" + +"But why should there be either dirt or hurt in a well-regulated place?" +answered Touchwood--"Why should not men be able to go about their +affairs at night, in such a hamlet as this, without either endangering +necks or noses?--Our Scottish magistrates are worth nothing, sir--nothing +at all. Oh for a Turkish Cadi, now, to trounce the scoundrel--or the +Mayor of Calcutta to bring him into his court--or were it but an English +Justice of the Peace that is newly included in the commission, they +would abate the villain's nuisance with a vengeance on him!--But here we +are--this is the Cleikum Inn.--Hallo--hilloa--house!--Eppie +Anderson!--Beenie Chambermaid!--boy Boots!--Mrs. Dods!--are you all of +you asleep and dead?--Here have I been half murdered, and you let me +stand bawling at the door!" + +Eppie Anderson came with a light, and so did Beenie Chambermaid with +another; but no sooner did they look upon the pair who stood in the +porch under the huge sign that swung to and fro with heavy creaking, +than Beenie screamed, flung away her candle, although a four in the +pound, and in a newly japanned candlestick, and fled one way, while +Eppie Anderson, echoing the yell, brandished her light round her head +like a Bacchante flourishing her torch, and ran off in another +direction. + +"Ay--I must be a bloody spectacle," said Mr. Touchwood, letting himself +fall heavily upon his assistant's shoulder, and wiping his face, which +trickled with wet--"I did not think I had been so seriously hurt; but I +find my weakness now--I must have lost much blood." + +"I hope you are still mistaken," said the stranger; "but here lies the +way to the kitchen--we shall find light there, since no one chooses to +bring it to us." + +[Illustration] + +He assisted the old gentleman into the kitchen, where a lamp, as well as +a bright fire, was burning, by the light of which he could easily +discern that the supposed blood was only water of the rivulet, and, +indeed, none of the cleanest, although much more so than the sufferer +would have found it a little lower, where the stream is joined by the +superfluities of Saunders Jaup's palladium. Relieved by his new +friend's repeated assurances that such was the case, the Senior began to +bustle up a little, and his companion, desirous to render him every +assistance, went to the door of the kitchen to call for a basin and +water. Just as he was about to open the door, the voice of Mrs. Dods was +heard as she descended the stairs, in a tone of indignation by no means +unusual to her, yet mingled at the same time with a few notes that +sounded like unto the quaverings of consternation. + +"Idle limmers--silly sluts--I'll warrant nane o' ye will ever see ony +thing waur than yoursell, ye silly tawpies--Ghaist, indeed!--I'll +warrant it's some idle dub-skelper frae the Waal, coming after some o' +yoursells on nae honest errand--Ghaist, indeed!--Haud up the candle, +John Ostler--I'se warrant it a twa-handed ghaist, and the door left on +the sneck. There's somebody in the kitchen--gang forward wi' the +lantern, John Ostler." + +At this critical moment the stranger opened the door of the kitchen, and +beheld the Dame advancing at the head of her household troops. The +ostler and humpbacked postilion, one bearing a stable-lantern and a +hay-fork, the other a rushlight and a broom, constituted the advanced +guard; Mrs. Dods herself formed the centre, talking loud and brandishing +a pair of tongs; while the two maids, like troops not to be much trusted +after their recent defeat, followed, cowering in the rear. But +notwithstanding this admirable disposition, no sooner had the stranger +shown his face, and pronounced the words "Mrs. Dods!" than a panic +seized the whole array. The advanced guard recoiled in consternation, +the ostler upsetting Mrs. Dods in the confusion of his retreat; while +she, grappling with him in her terror, secured him by the ears and +hair, and they joined their cries together in hideous chorus. The two +maidens resumed their former flight, and took refuge in the darksome +den, entitled their bedroom, while the humpbacked postilion fled like +the wind into the stable, and, with professional instinct, began, in the +extremity of his terror, to saddle a horse. + +Meanwhile, the guest whose appearance had caused this combustion, +plucked the roaring ostler from above Mrs. Dods, and pushing him away +with a hearty slap on the shoulder, proceeded to raise and encourage the +fallen landlady, enquiring, at the same time, "What, in the devil's +name, was the cause of all this senseless confusion?" + +"And what is the reason, in Heaven's name," answered the matron, keeping +her eyes firmly shut, and still shrewish in her expostulation, though in +the very extremity of terror, "what is the reason that you should come +and frighten a decent house, where you met naething, when ye was in the +body, but the height of civility?" + +"And why should I frighten you, Mrs. Dods? or, in one word, what is the +meaning of all this nonsensical terror?" + +"Are not you," said Mrs. Dods, opening her eyes a little as she spoke, +"the ghaist of Francis Tirl?" + +"I am Francis Tyrrel, unquestionably, my old friend." + +"I kend it! I kend it!" answered the honest woman, relapsing into her +agony; "and I think ye might be ashamed of yourself, that are a ghaist, +and have nae better to do than to frighten a puir auld alewife." + +"On my word, I am no ghost, but a living man," answered Tyrrel. + +"Were ye no murdered than?" demanded Mrs. Dods, still in an uncertain +voice, and only partially opening her eyes--"Are ye very sure ye werena +murdered?" + +"Why, not that ever I heard of, certainly, dame," replied Tyrrel. + +"But _I_ shall be murdered presently," said old Touchwood from the +kitchen, where he had hitherto remained a mute auditor of this +extraordinary scene--"_I_ shall be murdered, unless you fetch me some +water without delay." + +"Coming, sir, coming," answered Dame Dods, her professional reply being +as familiar to her as that of poor Francis's "Anon, anon, sir." "As I +live by honest reckonings," said she, fully collecting herself, and +giving a glance of more composed temper at Tyrrel, "I believe it _is_ +yoursell, Maister Frank, in blood and body after a'--And see if I dinna +gie a proper sorting to yon twa silly jauds that gard me mak a bogle of +you, and a fule of mysell--Ghaists! my certie, I sall ghaist them--If +they had their heads as muckle on their wark as on their daffing, they +wad play nae sic pliskies--it's the wanton steed that scaurs at the +windle-strae--Ghaists! wha e'er heard of ghaists in an honest house? +Naebody need fear bogles that has a conscience void of offence.--But I +am blithe that MacTurk hasna murdered ye when a' is done, Maister +Francie." + +"Come this way, Mother Dods, if you would not have me do a mischief!" +exclaimed Touchwood, grasping a plate which stood on the dresser, as if +he were about to heave it at the landlady, by way of recalling her +attention. + +"For the love of Heaven, dinna break it!" exclaimed the alarmed +landlady, knowing that Touchwood's effervescence of impatience sometimes +expended itself at the expense of her crockery, though it was afterwards +liberally atoned for. "Lord, sir, are ye out of your wits!--it breaks a +set, ye ken--Godsake, put doun the cheeny plate, and try your hand on +the delf-ware!--it will just make as good a jingle--But, Lord haud a +grip o' us! now I look at ye, what can hae come ower ye, and what sort +of a plight are ye in!--Wait till I fetch water and a towel." + +In fact, the miserable guise of her new lodger now overcame the dame's +curiosity to enquire after the fate of her earlier acquaintance, and she +gave her instant and exclusive attention to Mr. Touchwood, with many +exclamations, while aiding him to perform the task of ablution and +abstersion. Her two fugitive handmaidens had by this time returned to +the kitchen, and endeavoured to suppress a smuggled laugh at the +recollection of their mistress's panic, by acting very officiously in +Mr. Touchwood's service. By dint of washing and drying, the token of the +sable stains was at length removed, and the veteran became, with some +difficulty, satisfied that he had been more dirtied and frightened than +hurt. + +Tyrrel, in the meantime, stood looking on with wonder, imagining that he +beheld in the features which emerged from a mask of mud, the countenance +of an old friend. After the operation was ended, he could not help +addressing himself to Mr. Touchwood, to demand whether he had not the +pleasure to see a friend, to whom he had been obliged when at Smyrna, +for some kindness respecting his money matters? + +"Not worth speaking of--not worth speaking of," said Touchwood, hastily. +"Glad to see you, though--glad to see you.--Yes, here I am; you will +find me the same good-natured old fool that I was at Smyrna--never look +how I am to get in money again--always laying it out. Never mind--it was +written in my forehead, as the Turk says.--I will go up now and change +my dress--you will sup with me when I come back--Mrs. Dods will toss us +up something--a brandered fowl will be best, Mrs. Dods, with some +mushrooms, and get us a jug of mulled wine--plottie, as you call it--to +put the recollection of the old Presbyterian's common sewer out of my +head." + +So saying, up stairs marched the traveller to his own apartment, while +Tyrrel, seizing upon a candle, was about to do the same. + +"Mr. Touchwood is in the blue room, Mrs. Dods; I suppose I may take +possession of the yellow one?" + +"Suppose naething about the matter, Maister Francis Tirl, till ye tell +me downright where ye have been a' this time, and whether ye hae been +murdered or no?" + +"I think you may be pretty well satisfied of that, Mrs. Dods?" + +"Trot! and so I am in a sense; and yet it gars me grue to look upon ye, +sae mony days and weeks it has been since I thought ye were rotten in +the moulds. And now to see ye standing before me hale and feir, and +crying for a bedroom like ither folk!" + +"One would almost suppose, my good friend," said Tyrrel, "that you were +sorry at my having come alive again." + +"It's no for that," replied Mrs. Dods, who was peculiarly ingenious in +the mode of framing and stating what she conceived to be her grievances; +"but is it no a queer thing for a decent man like yoursell, Maister +Tirl, to be leaving your lodgings without a word spoken, and me put to +a' these charges in seeking for your dead body, and very near taking my +business out of honest Maister Bindloose's hands, because he kend the +cantrips of the like of you better than I did?--And than they hae putten +up an advertisement down at the Waal yonder, wi' a' their names at it, +setting ye forth, Maister Francie, as are of the greatest blackguards +unhanged; and wha, div ye think, is to keep ye in a creditable house, if +that's the character ye get?" + +"You may leave that to me, Mrs. Dods--I assure you that matter shall be +put to rights to your satisfaction; and I think, so long as we have +known each other, you may take my word that I am not undeserving the +shelter of your roof for a single night, (I shall ask it no longer,) +until my character is sufficiently cleared. It was for that purpose +chiefly I came back again." + +"Came back again!" said Mrs. Dods.--"I profess ye made me start, Maister +Tirl, and you looking sae pale, too.--But I think," she added, straining +after a joke, "if ye were a ghaist, seeing we are such auld +acquaintance, ye wadna wish to spoil my custom, but would just walk +decently up and down the auld castle wa's, or maybe down at the kirk +yonder--there have been awfu' things done in that kirk and kirkyard--I +whiles dinna like to look that way, Maister Francie." + +"I am much of your mind, mistress," said Tyrrel, with a sigh; "and, +indeed, I do in one resemble the apparitions you talk of; for, like +them, and to as little purpose, I stalk about scenes where my happiness +departed.--But I speak riddles to you, Mrs. Dods--the plain truth is, +that I met with an accident on the day I last left your house, the +effects of which detained me at some distance from St. Ronan's till this +very day." + +"Hegh, sirs, and ye were sparing of your trouble, that wadna write a bit +line, or send a bit message!--Ye might hae thought folk wad hae been +vexed eneugh about ye, forby undertaking journeys, and hiring folk to +seek for your dead body." + +"I shall willingly pay all reasonable charges which my disappearance may +have occasioned," answered her guest; "and I assure you, once for all, +that my remaining for some time quiet at Marchthorn, arose partly from +illness, and partly from business of a very pressing and particular +nature." + +"At Marchthorn!" exclaimed Dame Dods, "heard ever man the like o' +that!--And where did ye put up in Marchthorn, an ane may mak' bauld to +speer?" + +"At the Black Bull," replied Tyrrel. + +"Ay, that's auld Tam Lowrie's--a very decent man, Thamas--and a douce +creditable house--nane of your flisk-ma-hoys--I am glad ye made choice +of sic gude quarters, neighbour; for I am beginning to think ye are but +a queer ane--ye look as if butter wadna melt in your mouth, but I sall +warrant cheese no choke ye.--But I'll thank ye to gang your ways into +the parlour, for I am no like to get muckle mair out o' ye, it's like; +and ye are standing here just in the gate, when we hae the supper to +dish." + +Tyrrel, glad to be released from the examination to which his landlady's +curiosity had without ceremony subjected him, walked into the parlour, +where he was presently joined by Mr. Touchwood, newly attired, and in +high spirits. + +"Here comes our supper!" he exclaimed.--"Sit ye down, and let us see +what Mrs. Dods has done for us.--I profess, mistress, your plottie is +excellent, ever since I taught you to mix the spices in the right +proportion." + +"I am glad the plottie pleases ye, sir--but I think I kend gay weel how +to make it before I saw your honour--Maister Tirl can tell that, for +mony a browst of it I hae brewed lang syne for him and the callant +Valentine Bulmer." + +This ill-timed observation extorted a groan from Tyrrel; but the +traveller, running on with his own recollections, did not appear to +notice his emotion. + +"You are a conceited old woman," said Mr. Touchwood; "how the devil +should any one know how to mix spices so well as he who has been where +they grow?--I have seen the sun ripening nutmegs and cloves, and here, +it can hardly fill a peasecod, by Jupiter. Ah, Tyrrel, the merry nights +we have had at Smyrna!--Gad, I think the gammon and the good wine taste +all the better in a land where folks hold them to be sinful +indulgences--Gad, I believe many a good Moslem is of the same +opinion--that same prohibition of their prophet's gives a flavour to the +ham, and a relish to the Cyprus.--Do you remember old Cogia Hassein, +with his green turban?--I once played him a trick, and put a pint of +brandy into his sherbet. Egad, the old fellow took care never to +discover the cheat until he had got to the bottom of the flagon, and +then he strokes his long white beard, and says, 'Ullah Kerim,'--that +is, 'Heaven is merciful,' Mrs. Dods, Mr. Tyrrel knows the meaning of +it.--Ullah Kerim, says he, after he had drunk about a gallon of +brandy-punch!--Ullah Kerim, says the hypocritical old rogue, as if he +had done the finest thing in the world!" + +"And what for no? What for shouldna the honest man say a blessing after +his drap punch?" demanded Mrs. Dods; "it was better, I ween, than +blasting, and blawing, and swearing, as if folks shouldna be thankful +for the creature comforts." + +"Well said, old Dame Dods," replied the traveller; "that is a right +hostess's maxim, and worthy of Mrs. Quickly herself. Here is to thee, +and I pray ye to pledge me before ye leave the room." + +"Troth, I'll pledge naebody the night, Maister Touchwood; for, what wi' +the upcast and terror that I got a wee while syne, and what wi' the bit +taste that I behoved to take of the plottie while I was making it, my +head is sair eneugh distressed the night already.--Maister Tirl, the +yellow room is ready for ye when ye like; and, gentlemen, as the morn is +the Sabbath, I canna be keeping the servant queans out of their beds to +wait on ye ony langer, for they will mak it an excuse for lying till +aught o'clock on the Lord's day. So, when your plottie is done, I'll be +muckle obliged to ye to light the bedroom candles, and put out the +double moulds, and e'en show yoursells to your beds; for douce folks, +sic as the like of you, should set an example by ordinary.--And so, +gude-night to ye baith." + +"By my faith," said Touchwood, as she withdrew, "our dame turns as +obstinate as a Pacha with three tails!--We have her gracious permission +to finish our mug, however; so here is to your health once more, Mr. +Tyrrel, wishing you a hearty welcome to your own country." + +"I thank you, Mr. Touchwood," answered Tyrrel; "and I return you the +same good wishes, with, as I sincerely hope, a much greater chance of +their being realized.--You relieved me, sir, at a time when the villainy +of an agent, prompted, as I have reason to think, by an active and +powerful enemy, occasioned my being, for a time, pressed for funds.--I +made remittances to the _Ragion_ you dealt with, to acquit myself at +least of the pecuniary part of my obligation; but the bills were +returned, because, it was stated, you had left Smyrna." + +"Very true--very true--left Smyrna, and here I am in Scotland--as for +the bills, we will speak of them another time--something due for picking +me out of the gutter." + +"I shall make no deduction on that account," said Tyrrel, smiling, +though in no jocose mood; "and I beg you not to mistake me. The +circumstances of embarrassment, under which you found me at Smyrna, were +merely temporary--I am most able and willing to pay my debt; and, let me +add, I am most desirous to do so." + +"Another time--another time," said Mr. Touchwood--"time enough before +us, Mr. Tyrrel--besides, at Smyrna, you talked of a lawsuit--law is a +lick-penny, Mr. Tyrrel--no counsellor like the pound in purse." + +"For my lawsuit," said Tyrrel, "I am fully provided." + +"But have you good advice?--Have you good advice?" said Touchwood; +"answer me that." + +"I have advised with my lawyers," answered Tyrrel, internally vexed to +find that his friend was much disposed to make his generosity upon the +former occasion a pretext for prying farther into his affairs now than +he thought polite or convenient. + +"With your counsel learned in the law--eh, my dear boy? But the advice +you should take is of some travelled friend, well acquainted with +mankind and the world--some one that has lived double your years, and is +maybe looking out for some bare young fellow that he may do a little +good to--one that might be willing to help you farther than I can +pretend to guess--for, as to your lawyer, you get just your guinea's +worth from him--not even so much as the baker's bargain, thirteen to the +dozen." + +"I think I should not trouble myself to go far in search of a friend +such as you describe," said Tyrrel, who could not affect to +misunderstand the senior's drift, "when I was near Mr. Peregrine +Touchwood; but the truth is, my affairs are at present so much +complicated with those of others, whose secrets I have no right to +communicate, that I cannot have the advantage of consulting you, or any +other friend. It is possible I may be soon obliged to lay aside this +reserve, and vindicate myself before the whole public. I will not fail, +when that time shall arrive, to take an early opportunity of +confidential communication with you." + +"That is right--confidential is the word--No person ever made a +confidant of me who repented it--Think what the Pacha might have made of +it, had he taken my advice, and cut through the Isthmus of Suez.--Turk +and Christian, men of all tongues and countries, used to consult old +Touchwood, from the building of a mosque down to the settling of an +_agio_.--But come--Good-night--good-night." + +So saying, he took up his bedroom light, and extinguished one of those +which stood on the table, nodded to Tyrrel to discharge his share of the +duty imposed by Mrs. Dods with the same punctuality, and they withdrew +to their several apartments, entertaining very different sentiments of +each other. + +"A troublesome, inquisitive old gentleman," said Tyrrel to himself; "I +remember him narrowly escaping the bastinado at Smyrna, for thrusting +his advice on the Turkish cadi--and then I lie under a considerable +obligation to him, giving him a sort of right to annoy me--Well, I must +parry his impertinence as I can." + +"A shy cock this Frank Tyrrel," thought the traveller; "a very complete +dodger!--But no matter--I shall wind him, were he to double like a +fox--I am resolved to make his matters my own, and if _I_ cannot carry +him through, I know not who can." + +Having formed this philanthropic resolution, Mr. Touchwood threw himself +into bed, which luckily declined exactly at the right angle, and, full +of self-complacency, consigned himself to slumber. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +MEDIATION. + + --------So, begone! + We will not now be troubled with reply; + We offer fair, take it advisedly. + +_King Henry IV. Part I._ + + +It had been the purpose of Tyrrel, by rising and breakfasting early, to +avoid again meeting Mr. Touchwood, having upon his hands a matter in +which that officious gentleman's interference was likely to prove +troublesome. His character, he was aware, had been assailed at the Spa +in the most public manner, and in the most public manner he was resolved +to demand redress, conscious that whatever other important concerns had +brought him to Scotland, must necessarily be postponed to the +vindication of his honour. He was determined, for this purpose, to go +down to the rooms when the company was assembled at the breakfast hour, +and had just taken his hat to set out, when he was interrupted by Mrs. +Dods, who, announcing "a gentleman that was speering for him," ushered +into the chamber a very fashionable young man in a military surtout, +covered with silk lace and fur, and wearing a foraging-cap; a dress now +too familiar to be distinguished, but which at that time was used only +by geniuses of a superior order. The stranger was neither handsome nor +plain, but had in his appearance a good deal of pretension, and the cool +easy superiority which belongs to high breeding. On his part, he +surveyed Tyrrel; and, as his appearance differed, perhaps, from that for +which the exterior of the Cleikum Inn had prepared him, he abated +something of the air with which he had entered the room, and politely +announced himself as Captain Jekyl, of the ---- Guards, (presenting, at +the same time, his ticket.) + +"He presumed he spoke to Mr. Martigny?" + +"To Mr. Francis Tyrrel, sir," replied Tyrrel, drawing himself +up--"Martigny was my mother's name--I have never borne it." + +"I am not here for the purpose of disputing that point, Mr. Tyrrel, +though I am not entitled to admit what my principal's information leads +him to doubt." + +"Your principal, I presume, is Sir Bingo Binks?" said Tyrrel. "I have +not forgotten that there is an unfortunate affair between us." + +"I have not the honour to know Sir Bingo Binks," said Captain Jekyl. "I +come on the part of the Earl of Etherington." + +Tyrrel stood silent for a moment, and then said, "I am at a loss to know +what the gentleman who calls himself Earl of Etherington can have to say +to me, through the medium of such a messenger as yourself, Captain +Jekyl. I should have supposed that, considering our unhappy +relationship, and the terms on which we stand towards each other, the +lawyers were the fitter negotiators between us." + +"Sir," said Captain Jekyl, "you are misunderstanding my errand. I am +come on no message of hostile import from Lord Etherington--I am aware +of the connexion betwixt you, which would render such an office +altogether contradictory to common sense and the laws of nature; and I +assure you, I would lay down my life rather than be concerned in an +affair so unnatural. I would act, if possible, as a mediator betwixt +you." + +They had hitherto remained standing. Mr. Tyrrel now offered his guest a +seat; and, having assumed one himself, he broke the awkward pause which +ensued by observing, "I should be happy, after experiencing such a long +course of injustice and persecution from your friend, to learn, even at +this late period, Captain Jekyl, any thing which can make me think +better, either of him, or of his purpose towards me and towards others." + +"Mr. Tyrrel," said Captain Jekyl, "you must allow me to speak with +candour. There is too great a stake betwixt your brother and you to +permit you to be friends; but I do not see it is necessary that you +should therefore be mortal enemies." + +"I am not my brother's enemy, Captain Jekyl," said Tyrrel--"I have never +been so--His friend I cannot be, and he knows but too well the +insurmountable barrier which his own conduct has placed between us." + +"I am aware," said Captain Jekyl, slowly and expressively, "generally, +at least, of the particulars of your unfortunate disagreement." + +"If so," said Tyrrel, colouring, "you must be also aware with what +extreme pain I feel myself compelled to enter on such a subject with a +total stranger--a stranger, too, the friend and confidant of one +who----But I will not hurt your feelings, Captain Jekyl, but rather +endeavour to suppress my own. In one word, I beg to be favoured with the +import of your communication, as I am obliged to go down to the Spa this +morning, in order to put to rights some matters there which concern me +nearly." + +"If you mean the cause of your absence from an appointment with Sir +Bingo Binks," said Captain Jekyl, "the matter has been already +completely explained. I pulled down the offensive placard with my own +hand, and rendered myself responsible for your honour to any one who +should presume to hold it in future doubt." + +"Sir," said Tyrrel, very much surprised, "I am obliged to you for your +intention, the more so as I am ignorant how I have merited such +interference. It is not, however, quite satisfactory to me, because I am +accustomed to be the guardian of my own honour." + +"An easy task, I presume, in all cases, Mr. Tyrrel," answered Jekyl, +"but peculiarly so in the present, when you will find no one so hardy as +to assail it.--My interference, indeed, would have been unjustifiably +officious, had I not been at the moment undertaking a commission +implying confidential intercourse with you. For the sake of my own +character, it became necessary to establish yours. I know the truth of +the whole affair from my friend, the Earl of Etherington, who ought to +thank Heaven so long as he lives, that saved him on that occasion from +the commission of a very great crime." + +"Your friend, sir, has had, in the course of his life, much to thank +Heaven for, but more for which to ask God's forgiveness." + +"I am no divine, sir," replied Captain Jekyl, with spirit; "but I have +been told that the same may be said of most men alive." + +"I, at least, cannot dispute it," said Tyrrel; "but, to proceed.--Have +you found yourself at liberty, Captain Jekyl, to deliver to the public +the whole particulars of a rencontre so singular as that which took +place between your friend and me?" + +"I have not, sir," said Jekyl--"I judged it a matter of great delicacy, +and which each of you had the like interest to preserve secret." + +"May I beg to know, then," said Tyrrel, "how it was possible for you to +vindicate my absence from Sir Bingo's rendezvous otherwise?" + +"It was only necessary, sir, to pledge my word as a gentleman and a man +of honour, characters in which I am pretty well known to the world, +that, to my certain personal knowledge, you were hurt in an affair with +a friend of mine, the further particulars of which prudence required +should be sunk into oblivion. I think no one will venture to dispute my +word, or to require more than my assurance.--If there should be any one +very hard of faith on the occasion, I shall find a way to satisfy him. +In the meanwhile, your outlawry has been rescinded in the most +honourable manner; and Sir Bingo, in consideration of his share in +giving rise to reports so injurious to you, is desirous to drop all +further proceedings in his original quarrel, and hopes the whole matter +will be forgot and forgiven on all sides." + +"Upon my word, Captain Jekyl," answered Tyrrel, "you lay me under the +necessity of acknowledging obligation to you. You have cut a knot which +I should have found it very difficult to unloose; for I frankly confess, +that, while I was determined not to remain under the stigma put upon me, +I should have had great difficulty in clearing myself, without +mentioning circumstances, which, were it only for the sake of my +father's memory, should be buried in eternal oblivion. I hope your +friend feels no continued inconvenience from his hurt?" + +"His lordship is nearly quite recovered," said Jekyl. + +"And I trust he did me the justice to own, that, so far as my will was +concerned, I am totally guiltless of the purpose of hurting him?" + +"He does you full justice in that and every thing else," replied Jekyl; +"regrets the impetuosity of his own temper, and is determined to be on +his guard against it in future." + +"That," said Tyrrel, "is so far well; and now, may I ask once more, what +communication you have to make to me on the part of your friend?--Were +it from any one but him, whom I have found so uniformly false and +treacherous, your own fairness and candour would induce me to hope that +this unnatural quarrel might be in some sort ended by your mediation." + +"I then proceed, sir, under more favourable auspices than I expected," +said Captain Jekyl, "to enter on my commission.--You are about to +commence a lawsuit, Mr. Tyrrel, if fame does not wrong you, for the +purpose of depriving your brother of his estate and title." + +"The case is not fairly stated, Captain Jekyl," replied Tyrrel; "I +commence a lawsuit, when I do commence it, for the sake of ascertaining +my own just rights." + +"It comes to the same thing eventually," said the mediator; "I am not +called upon to decide upon the justice of your claims, but they are, you +will allow, newly started. The late Countess of Etherington died in +possession--open and undoubted possession--of her rank in society." + +"If she had no real claim to it, sir," replied Tyrrel, "she had more +than justice who enjoyed it so long; and the injured lady whose claims +were postponed, had just so much less.--But this is no point for you and +me to discuss between us--it must be tried elsewhere." + +"Proofs, sir, of the strongest kind, will be necessary to overthrow a +right so well established in public opinion as that of the present +possessor of the title of Etherington." + +Tyrrel took a paper from his pocketbook, and, handing it to Captain +Jekyl, only answered, "I have no thoughts of asking you to give up the +cause of your friend; but methinks the documents of which I give you a +list, may shake your opinion of it." + +Captain Jekyl read, muttering to himself, "'_Certificate of marriage, by +the Rev. Zadock Kemp, chaplain to the British Embassy at Paris, between +Marie de Bellroche, Comptesse de Martigny, and the Right Honourable John +Lord Oakendale--Letters between John Earl of Etherington and his lady, +under the title of Madame de Martigny--Certificate of baptism--Declaration +of the Earl of Etherington on his death-bed._'--All this is very +well--but may I ask you, Mr. Tyrrel, if it is really your purpose to go +to extremity with your brother?" + +"He has forgot that he is one--he has lifted his hand against my life." + +"You have shed his blood--twice shed it," said Jekyl; "the world will +not ask which brother gave the offence, but which received, which +inflicted, the severest wound." + +"Your friend has inflicted one on me, sir," said Tyrrel, "that will +bleed while I have the power of memory." + +"I understand you, sir," said Captain Jekyl; "you mean the affair of +Miss Mowbray?" + +"Spare me on that subject, sir!" said Tyrrel. "Hitherto I have disputed +my most important rights--rights which involved my rank in society, my +fortune, the honour of my mother--with something like composure; but do +not say more on the topic you have touched upon, unless you would have +before you a madman!--Is it possible for you, sir, to have heard even +the outline of this story, and to imagine that I can ever reflect on the +cold-blooded and most inhuman stratagem, which this friend of yours +prepared for two unfortunates, without"--He started up, and walked +impetuously to and fro. "Since the Fiend himself interrupted the +happiness of perfect innocence, there was never such an act of +treachery--never such schemes of happiness destroyed--never such +inevitable misery prepared for two wretches who had the idiocy to repose +perfect confidence in him!--Had there been passion in his conduct, it +had been the act of a man--a wicked man, indeed, but still a human +creature, acting under the influence of human feelings--but his was the +deed of a calm, cold, calculating demon, actuated by the basest and most +sordid motives of self-interest, joined, as I firmly believe, to an +early and inveterate hatred of one whose claims he considered as at +variance with his own." + +"I am sorry to see you in such a temper," said Captain Jekyl, calmly; +"Lord Etherington, I trust, acted on very different motives than those +you impute to him; and if you will but listen to me, perhaps something +may be struck out which may accommodate these unhappy disputes." + +"Sir," said Tyrrel, sitting down again, "I will listen to you with +calmness, as I would remain calm under the probe of a surgeon tenting a +festered wound. But when you touch me to the quick, when you prick the +very nerve, you cannot expect me to endure without wincing." + +"I will endeavour, then, to be as brief in the operation as I can," +replied Captain Jekyl, who possessed the advantage of the most admirable +composure during the whole conference. "I conclude, Mr. Tyrrel, that the +peace, happiness, and honour of Miss Mowbray, are dear to you?" + +"Who dare impeach her honour!" said Tyrrel, fiercely; then checking +himself, added, in a more moderate tone, but one of deep feeling, "they +are dear to me, sir, as my eyesight." + +"My friend holds them in equal regard," said the Captain; "and has come +to the resolution of doing her the most ample justice." + +"He can do her justice no otherwise, than by ceasing to haunt this +neighbourhood, to think, to speak, even to dream of her." + +"Lord Etherington thinks otherwise," said Captain Jekyl; "he believes +that if Miss Mowbray has sustained any wrong at his hands, which, of +course, I am not called upon to admit, it will be best repaired by the +offer to share with her his title, his rank, and his fortune." + +"His title, rank, and fortune, sir, are as much a falsehood as he is +himself," said Tyrrel, with violence--"Marry Clara Mowbray? never!" + +"My friend's fortune, you will observe," replied Jekyl, "does not rest +entirely upon the event of the lawsuit with which you, Mr. Tyrrel, now +threaten him.--Deprive him, if you can, of the Oakendale estate, he has +still a large patrimony by his mother; and besides, as to his marriage +with Clara Mowbray, he conceives, that unless it should be the lady's +wish to have the ceremony repeated to which he is most desirous to defer +his own opinion, they have only to declare that it has already passed +between them." + +"A trick, sir!" said Tyrrel, "a vile infamous trick! of which the lowest +wretch in Newgate would be ashamed--the imposition of one person for +another." + +"Of that, Mr. Tyrrel, I have seen no evidence whatever. The clergyman's +certificate is clear--Francis Tyrrel is united to Clara Mowbray in the +holy bands of wedlock--such is the tenor--there is a copy--nay, stop one +instant, if you please, sir. You say there was an imposition in the +case--I have no doubt but you speak what you believe, and what Miss +Mowbray told you. She was surprised--forced in some measure from the +husband she had just married--ashamed to meet her former lover, to whom, +doubtless, she had made many a vow of love, and ne'er a true one--what +wonder that, unsupported by her bridegroom, she should have changed her +tone, and thrown all the blame of her own inconstancy on the absent +swain?--A woman, at a pinch so critical, will make the most improbable +excuse, rather than be found guilty on her own confession." + +"There must be no jesting in this case," said Tyrrel, his cheek becoming +pale, and his voice altered with passion. + +"I am quite serious, sir," replied Jekyl; "and there is no law court in +Britain that would take the lady's word--all she has to offer, and that +in her own cause--against a whole body of evidence direct and +circumstantial, showing that she was by her own free consent married to +the gentleman who now claims her hand.--Forgive me, sir--I see you are +much agitated--I do not mean to dispute your right of believing what you +think is most credible--I only use the freedom of pointing out to you +the impression which the evidence is likely to make on the minds of +indifferent persons." + +"Your friend," answered Tyrrel, affecting a composure, which, however, +he was far from possessing, "may think by such arguments to screen his +villainy; but it cannot avail him--the truth is known to Heaven--it is +known to me--and there is, besides, one indifferent witness upon earth, +who can testify that the most abominable imposition was practised on +Miss Mowbray." + +"You mean her cousin,--Hannah Irwin, I think, is her name," answered +Jekyl; "you see I am fully acquainted with all the circumstances of the +case. But where is Hannah Irwin to be found?" + +"She will appear, doubtless, in Heaven's good time, and to the confusion +of him who now imagines the only witness of his treachery--the only one +who could tell the truth of this complicated mystery--either no longer +lives, or, at least, cannot be brought forward against him, to the ruin +of his schemes. Yes, sir, that slight observation of yours has more than +explained to me why your friend, or, to call him by his true name, Mr. +Valentine Bulmer, has not commenced his machinations sooner, and also +why he has commenced them now. He thinks himself certain that Hannah +Irwin is not now in Britain, or to be produced in a court of justice--he +may find himself mistaken." + +"My friend seems perfectly confident of the issue of his cause," +answered Jekyl; "but for the lady's sake, he is most unwilling to +prosecute a suit which must be attended with so many circumstances of +painful exposure." + +"Exposure, indeed!" answered Tyrrel; "thanks to the traitor who laid a +mine so fearful, and who now affects to be reluctant to fire it.--Oh! +how I am bound to curse that affinity that restrains my hands! I would +be content to be the meanest and vilest of society, for one hour of +vengeance on this unexampled hypocrite!--One thing is certain, sir--your +friend will have no living victim. His persecution will kill Clara +Mowbray, and fill up the cup of his crimes, with the murder of one of +the sweetest----I shall grow a woman, if I say more on the subject!" + +"My friend," said Jekyl, "since you like best to have him so defined, is +as desirous as you can be to spare the lady's feelings; and with that +view, not reverting to former passages, he has laid before her brother a +proposal of alliance, with which Mr. Mowbray is highly pleased." + +"Ha!" said Tyrrel, starting--"And the lady?"-- + +"And the lady so far proved favourable, as to consent that Lord +Etherington shall visit Shaws-Castle." + +"Her consent must have been extorted!" exclaimed Tyrrel. + +"It was given voluntarily," said Jekyl, "as I am led to understand; +unless, perhaps, in so far as the desire to veil these very unpleasing +transactions may have operated, I think naturally enough, to induce her +to sink them in eternal secrecy, by accepting Lord Etherington's +hand.--I see, sir, I give you pain, and am sorry for it.--I have no +title to call upon you for any exertion of generosity; but, should such +be Miss Mowbray's sentiments, is it too much to expect of you, that you +will not compromise the lady's honour by insisting upon former claims, +and opening up disreputable transactions so long past?" + +"Captain Jekyl," said Tyrrel, solemnly, "I have no claims. Whatever I +might have had, were cancelled by the act of treachery through which +your friend endeavoured too successfully to supplant me. Were Clara +Mowbray as free from her pretended marriage as law could pronounce her, +still with me--_me_, at least, of all men in the world--the obstacle +must ever remain, that the nuptial benediction has been pronounced over +her, and the man whom I must for once call _brother_."--He stopped at +that word, as if it had cost him agony to pronounce it, and then +resumed:--"No, sir, I have no views of personal advantage in this +matter--they have been long annihilated--But I will not permit Clara +Mowbray to become the wife of a villain--I will watch over her with +thoughts as spotless as those of her guardian angel. I first persuaded +her to quit the path of duty[II-B]--I, of all men who live, am bound to +protect her from the misery--from the guilt--which must attach to her as +this man's wife. I will never believe that she wishes it--I will never +believe, that in calm mind and sober reason, she can be brought to +listen to such a guilty proposal.--But her mind--alas!--is not of the +firm texture it once could boast; and your friend knows well how to +press on the spring of every passion that can agitate and alarm her. +Threats of exposure may extort her consent to this most unfitting +match, if they do not indeed drive her to suicide, which I think the +most likely termination. I will, therefore, be strong where she is +weak.--Your friend, sir, must at least strip his proposals of their fine +gilding. I will satisfy Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's of his false +pretences, both to rank and fortune; and I rather think he will protect +his sister against the claim of a needy profligate, though he might be +dazzled with the alliance of a wealthy peer." + +"Your cause, sir, is not yet won," answered Jekyl; "and when it is, your +brother will retain property enough to entitle him to marry a greater +match than Miss Mowbray, besides the large estate of Nettlewood, to +which that alliance must give him right. But I would wish to make some +accommodation between you if it were possible. You profess, Mr. Tyrrel, +to lay aside all selfish wishes and views in this matter, and to look +entirely to Miss Mowbray's safety and happiness?" + +"Such, upon my honour, is the exclusive purpose of my interference--I +would give all I am worth to procure her an hour of quiet--for happiness +she will never know again." + +"Your anticipations of Miss Mowbray's distress," said Jekyl, "are, I +understand, founded upon the character of my friend. You think him a man +of light principle, and because he overreached you in a juvenile +intrigue, you conclude that now, in his more steady and advanced years, +the happiness of the lady in whom you are so much interested ought not +to be trusted to him?" + +"There may be other grounds," said Tyrrel, hastily; "but you may argue +upon those you have named, as sufficient to warrant my interference." + +"How, then, if I should propose some accommodation of this nature? Lord +Etherington does not pretend to the ardour of a passionate lover. He +lives much in the world, and has no desire to quit it. Miss Mowbray's +health is delicate--her spirits variable--and retirement would most +probably be her choice.--Suppose--I am barely putting a +supposition--suppose that a marriage between two persons so +circumstanced were rendered necessary or advantageous to both--suppose +that such a marriage were to secure to one party a large estate--were to +insure the other against all the consequences of an unpleasant +exposure--still, both ends might be obtained by the mere ceremony of +marriage passing between them. There might be a previous contract of +separation, with suitable provisions for the lady, and stipulations, by +which the husband should renounce all claim to her society. Such things +happen every season, if not on the very marriage day, yet before the +honeymoon is over.--Wealth and freedom would be the lady's, and as much +rank as you, sir, supposing your claims just, may think proper to leave +them." + +There was a long pause, during which Tyrrel underwent many changes of +countenance, which Jekyl watched carefully, without pressing him for an +answer. At length he replied, "There is much in your proposal, Captain +Jekyl, which I might be tempted to accede to, as one manner of unloosing +this Gordian knot, and a compromise by which Miss Mowbray's future +tranquillity would be in some degree provided for. But I would rather +trust a fanged adder than your friend, unless I saw him fettered by the +strongest ties of interest. Besides, I am certain the unhappy lady could +never survive the being connected with him in this manner, though but +for the single moment when they should appear together at the altar. +There are other objections"---- + +He checked himself, paused, and then proceeded in a calm and +self-possessed tone. "You think, perhaps, even yet, that I have some +selfish and interested views in this business; and probably you may feel +yourself entitled to entertain the same suspicion towards me, which I +avowedly harbour respecting every proposition which originates with your +friend.--I cannot help it--I can but meet these disadvantageous +impressions with plain dealing and honesty; and it is in the spirit of +both that _I_ make a proposition to _you_.--Your friend is attached to +rank, fortune, and worldly advantages, in the usual proportion, at +least, in which they are pursued by men of the world--this you must +admit, and I will not offend you by supposing more." + +"I know few people who do not desire such advantages," answered Captain +Jekyl; "and I frankly own, that he affects no particular degree of +philosophic indifference respecting them." + +"Be it so," answered Tyrrel. "Indeed, the proposal you have just made +indicates that his pretended claim on this young lady's hand is +entirely, or almost entirely, dictated by motives of interest, since you +are of opinion that he would be contented to separate from her society +on the very marriage day, provided that, in doing so, he was assured of +the Nettlewood property." + +"My proposition was unauthorized by my principal," answered Jekyl; "but +it is needless to deny, that its very tenor implies an idea, on my part, +that Lord Etherington is no passionate lover." + +"Well then," answered Tyrrel. "Consider, sir, and let him consider well, +that the estate and rank he now assumes, depend upon my will and +pleasure--that, if I prosecute the claims of which that scroll makes you +aware, he must descend from the rank of an earl into that of a commoner, +stripped of by much the better half of his fortune--a diminution which +would be far from compensated by the estate of Nettlewood, even if he +could obtain it, which could only be by means of a lawsuit, precarious +in the issue, and most dishonourable in its very essence." + +"Well, sir," replied Jekyl, "I perceive your argument--What is your +proposal?" + +"That I will abstain from prosecuting my claim on those honours and that +property--that I will leave Valentine Bulmer in possession of his +usurped title and ill-deserved wealth--that I will bind myself under the +strongest penalties never to disturb his possession of the Earldom of +Etherington and estates belonging to it--on condition that he allows the +woman, whose peace of mind he has ruined for ever, to walk through the +world in her wretchedness, undisturbed either by his marriage-suit, or +by any claim founded upon his own most treacherous conduct--in short, +that he forbear to molest Clara Mowbray, either by his presence, word, +letter, or through the intervention of a third party, and be to her in +future as if he did not exist." + +"This is a singular offer," said the Captain; "may I ask if you are +serious in making it?" + +"I am neither surprised nor offended at the question," said Tyrrel. "I +am a man, sir, like others, and affect no superiority to that which all +men desire the possession of--a certain consideration and station in +society. I am no romantic fool to undervalue the sacrifice I am about to +make. I renounce a rank, which is and ought to be the more valuable to +me, because it involves (he blushed as he spoke) the fame of an honoured +mother--because, in failing to claim it, I disobey the commands of a +dying father, who wished that by doing so I should declare to the world +the penitence which hurried him perhaps to the grave, and the making +which public he considered might be some atonement for his errors. From +an honoured place in the land, I descend voluntarily to become a +nameless exile; for, once certain that Clara Mowbray's peace is assured, +Britain no longer holds me.--All this I do, sir, not in any idle strain +of overheated feeling, but seeing, and knowing, and dearly valuing, +every advantage which I renounce--yet I do it, and do it willingly, +rather than be the cause of farther evil to one, on whom I have already +brought too--too much." + +His voice, in spite of his exertions, faltered as he concluded the +sentence, and a big drop which rose to his eye, required him for the +moment to turn towards the window. + +"I am ashamed of this childishness," he said, turning again to Captain +Jekyl; "if it excites your ridicule, sir, let it be at least a proof of +my sincerity." + +"I am far from entertaining such sentiments," said Jekyl, +respectfully--for, in a long train of fashionable follies, his heart had +not been utterly hardened--"very far, indeed. To a proposal so singular +as yours, I cannot be expected to answer--except thus far--the character +of the peerage is, I believe, indelible, and cannot be resigned or +assumed at pleasure. If you are really Earl of Etherington, I cannot see +how your resigning the right may avail my friend." + +"You, sir, it might not avail," said Tyrrel, gravely, "because you, +perhaps, might scorn to exercise a right, or hold a title, that was not +legally yours. But your friend will have no such compunctious visitings. +If he can act the Earl to the eye of the world, he has already shown +that his honour and conscience will be easily satisfied." + +"May I take a copy of the memorandum containing this list of documents," +said Captain Jekyl, "for the information of my constituent?" + +"The paper is at your pleasure, sir," replied Tyrrel; "it is itself but +a copy.--But Captain Jekyl," he added, with a sarcastic expression, "is, +it would seem, but imperfectly let into his friend's confidence--he may +be assured his principal is completely acquainted with the contents of +this paper, and has accurate copies of the deeds to which it refers." + +"I think it scarce possible," said Jekyl, angrily. + +"Possible and certain!" answered Tyrrel. "My father, shortly preceding +his death, sent me--with a most affecting confession of his errors--this +list of papers, and acquainted me that he had made a similar +communication to your friend. That he did so I have no doubt, however +Mr. Bulmer may have thought proper to disguise the circumstance in +communication with you. One circumstance, among others, stamps at once +his character, and confirms me of the danger he apprehended by my return +to Britain. He found means, through a scoundrelly agent, who had made me +the usual remittances from my father while alive, to withhold those +which were necessary for my return from the Levant, and I was obliged +to borrow from a friend." + +"Indeed?" replied Jekyl. "It is the first time I have heard of these +papers--May I enquire where the originals are, and in whose custody?" + +"I was in the East," answered Tyrrel, "during my father's last illness, +and these papers were by him deposited with a respectable commercial +house, with which he was connected. They were enclosed in a cover +directed to me, and that again in an envelope, addressed to the +principal person in their firm." + +"You must be sensible," said Captain Jekyl, "that I can scarcely decide +on the extraordinary offer which you have been pleased to make, of +resigning the claim founded on these documents, unless I had a previous +opportunity of examining them." + +"You shall have that opportunity--I will write to have them sent down by +the post--they lie but in small compass." + +"This, then," said the Captain, "sums up all that can be said at +present.--Supposing these proofs to be of unexceptionable authenticity, +I certainly would advise my friend Etherington to put to sleep a claim +so important as yours, even at the expense of resigning his matrimonial +speculation--I presume you design to abide by your offer?" + +"I am not in the habit of altering my mind--still less of retracting my +word," said Tyrrel, somewhat haughtily. + +"We part friends, I hope?" said Jekyl, rising, and taking his leave. + +"Not enemies certainly, Captain Jekyl. I will own to you I owe you my +thanks, for extricating me from that foolish affair at the Well--nothing +could have put me to more inconvenience than the necessity of following +to extremity a frivolous quarrel at the present moment." + +"You will come down among us, then?" said Jekyl. + +"I certainly shall not wish to appear to hide myself," answered Tyrrel; +"it is a circumstance might be turned against me--there is a party who +will avail himself of every advantage. I have but one path, Captain +Jekyl--that of truth and honour." + +Captain Jekyl bowed, and took his leave. So soon as he was gone, Tyrrel +locked the door of the apartment, and drawing from his bosom a portrait, +gazed on it with a mixture of sorrow and tenderness, until the tears +dropped from his eye. + +It was the picture of Clara Mowbray, such as he had known her in the +days of their youthful love, and taken by himself, whose early turn for +painting had already developed itself. The features of the blooming girl +might be yet traced in the fine countenance of the more matured +original. But what was now become of the glow which had shaded her +cheek?--what of the arch, yet subdued pleasantry, which lurked in the +eye?--what of the joyous content, which composed every feature to the +expression of an Euphrosyne?--Alas! these were long fled!--Sorrow had +laid his hand upon her--the purple light of youth was quenched--the +glance of innocent gaiety was exchanged for looks now moody with +ill-concealed care, now animated by a spirit of reckless and satirical +observation. + +"What a wreck! what a wreck!" exclaimed Tyrrel; "and all of one wretch's +making.--Can I put the last hand to the work, and be her murderer +outright? I cannot--I cannot!--I will be strong in the resolve I have +formed--I will sacrifice all--rank--station--fortune--and fame. +Revenge!--Revenge itself, the last good left me--revenge itself I will +sacrifice, to obtain for her such tranquillity as she may be yet capable +to enjoy." + +In this resolution he sat down, and wrote a letter to the commercial +house with whom the documents of his birth, and other relative papers, +were deposited, requesting that the packet containing them should be +forwarded to him through the post-office. + +Tyrrel was neither unambitious, nor without those sentiments respecting +personal consideration, which are usually united with deep feeling and +an ardent mind. It was with a trembling hand, and a watery eye, but with +a heart firmly resolved, that he sealed and dispatched the letter; a +step towards the resignation, in favour of his mortal enemy, of that +rank and condition in life, which was his own by right of inheritance, +but had so long hung in doubt betwixt them. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +INTRUSION. + + By my troth, I will go with thee to the lane's-end!--I am a kind of + burr--I shall stick. + +_Measure for Measure._ + + +It was now far advanced in autumn. The dew lay thick on the long grass, +where it was touched by the sun; but where the sward lay in shadow, it +was covered with hoar frost, and crisped under Jekyl's foot, as he +returned through the woods of St. Ronan's. The leaves of the ash-trees +detached themselves from the branches, and, without an air of wind, fell +spontaneously on the path. The mists still lay lazily upon the heights, +and the huge old tower of St. Ronan's was entirely shrouded with vapour, +except where a sunbeam, struggling with the mist, penetrated into its +wreath so far as to show a projecting turret upon one of the angles of +the old fortress, which, long a favourite haunt of the raven, was +popularly called the Corbie's Tower. Beneath, the scene was open and +lightsome, and the robin redbreast was chirping his best, to atone for +the absence of all other choristers. The fine foliage of autumn was seen +in many a glade, running up the sides of each little ravine, russet-hued +and golden-specked, and tinged frequently with the red hues of the +mountain-ash; while here and there a huge old fir, the native growth of +the soil, flung his broad shadow over the rest of the trees, and seemed +to exult in the permanence of his dusky livery over the more showy, but +transitory brilliance by which he was surrounded. + +Such is the scene, which, so often described in prose and in poetry, yet +seldom loses its effect upon the ear or upon the eye, and through which +we wander with a strain of mind congenial to the decline of the year. +There are few who do not feel the impression; and even Jekyl, though +bred to far different pursuits than those most favourable to such +contemplation, relaxed his pace to admire the uncommon beauty of the +landscape. + +Perhaps, also, he was in no hurry to rejoin the Earl of Etherington, +towards whose service he felt himself more disinclined since his +interview with Tyrrel. It was clear that that nobleman had not fully +reposed in his friend the confidence promised; he had not made him aware +of the existence of those important documents of proof, on which the +whole fate of his negotiation appeared now to hinge, and in so far had +deceived him. Yet, when he pulled from his pocket, and re-read Lord +Etherington's explanatory letter, Jekyl could not help being more +sensible than he had been on the first perusal, how much the present +possessor of that title felt alarmed at his brother's claims; and he had +some compassion for the natural feeling that must have rendered him shy +of communicating at once the very worst view of his case, even to his +most confidential friend. Upon the whole, he remembered that Lord +Etherington had been his benefactor to an unusual extent; that, in +return, he had promised the young nobleman his active and devoted +assistance, in extricating him from the difficulties with which he +seemed at present surrounded; that, in quality of his confidant, he had +become acquainted with the most secret transactions of his life; and +that it could only be some very strong cause indeed which could justify +breaking off from him at this moment. Yet he could not help wishing +either that his own obligations had been less, his friend's cause +better, or, at least, the friend himself more worthy of assistance. + +"A beautiful morning, sir, for such a foggy, d----d climate as this," +said a voice close by Jekyl's ear, which made him at once start out of +his contemplation. He turned half round, and beside him stood our honest +friend Touchwood, his throat muffled in his large Indian handkerchief, +huge gouty shoes thrust upon his feet, his bobwig well powdered, and the +gold-headed cane in his hand, carried upright as a sergeant's halberd. +One glance of contemptuous survey entitled Jekyl, according to his +modish ideas, to rank the old gentleman as a regular-built quiz, and to +treat him as the young gentlemen of his Majesty's Guards think +themselves entitled to use every unfashionable variety of the human +species. A slight inclination of a bow, and a very cold "You have the +advantage of me, sir," dropped as it were unconsciously from his tongue, +were meant to repress the old gentleman's advances, and moderate his +ambition to be hail fellow well met with his betters. But Mr. Touchwood +was callous to the intended rebuke; he had lived too much at large upon +the world, and was far too confident of his own merits, to take a +repulse easily, or to permit his modesty to interfere with any purpose +which he had formed. + +"Advantage of you, sir?" he replied; "I have lived too long in the world +not to keep all the advantages I have, and get all I can--and I reckon +it one that I have overtaken you, and shall have the pleasure of your +company to the Well." + +"I should but interrupt your worthier meditations, sir," said the other; +"besides, I am a modest young man, and think myself fit for no better +company than my own--moreover, I walk slow--very slow.--Good morning to +you, Mr. A--A--I believe my treacherous memory has let slip your name, +sir." + +"My name!--Why your memory must have been like Pat Murtough's greyhound, +that let the hare go before he caught it. You never heard my name in +your life. Touchwood is my name. What d'ye think of it, now you know +it?" + +"I am really no connoisseur in surnames," answered Jekyl: "and it is +quite the same to me whether you call yourself Touchwood or Touchstone. +Don't let me keep you from walking on, sir. You will find breakfast far +advanced at the Well, sir, and your walk has probably given you an +appetite." + +"Which will serve me to luncheon-time, I promise you," said Touchwood; +"I always drink my coffee as soon as my feet are in my pabouches--it's +the way all over the East. Never trust my breakfast to their scalding +milk-and-water at the Well, I assure you; and for walking slow, I have +had a touch of the gout." + +"Have you," said Jekyl; "I am sorry for that; because, if you have no +mind to breakfast, I have--and so, Mr. Touchstone, good-morrow to you." + +But, although the young soldier went off at double quick time, his +pertinacious attendant kept close by his side, displaying an activity +which seemed inconsistent with his make and his years, and talking away +the whole time, so as to show that his lungs were not in the least +degree incommoded by the unusual rapidity of motion. + +"Nay, young gentleman, if you are for a good smart walk, I am for you, +and the gout may be d--d. You are a lucky fellow to have youth on your +side; but yet, so far as between the Aultoun and the Well, I think I +could walk you for your sum, barring running--all heel and toe--equal +weight, and I would match Barclay himself for a mile." + +"Upon my word, you are a gay old gentleman!" said Jekyl, relaxing his +pace; "and if we must be fellow-travellers, though I can see no great +occasion for it, I must even shorten sail for you." + +So saying, and as if another means of deliverance had occurred to him, +he slackened his pace, took out a morocco case of cigars, and, lighting +one with his _briquet_, said, while he walked on, and bestowed as much +of its fragrance as he could upon the face of his intrusive companion, +"Vergeben sie, mein herr--ich bin erzogen in kaiserlicher dienst--muss +rauchen ein kleine wenig."[II-6] + +"Rauchen sie immer fort," said Touchwood, producing a huge meerschaum, +which, suspended by a chain from his neck, lurked in the bosom of his +coat, "habe auch mein pfeichen--Sehen sie den lieben topf!"[II-7] and he +began to return the smoke, if not the fire, of his companion, in full +volumes, and with interest. + +"The devil take the twaddle," said Jekyl to himself, "he is too old and +too fat to be treated after the manner of Professor Jackson; and, on my +life, I cannot tell what to make of him.--He is a residenter too--I must +tip him the cold shoulder, or he will be pestering me eternally." + +Accordingly, he walked on, sucking his cigar, and apparently in as +abstracted a mood as Mr. Cargill himself, without paying the least +attention to Touchwood, who, nevertheless, continued talking, as if he +had been addressing the most attentive listener in Scotland, whether it +were the favourite nephew of a cross, old, rich bachelor, or the +aid-de-camp of some old rusty firelock of a general, who tells stories +of the American war. + +"And so, sir, I can put up with any companion at a pinch, for I have +travelled in all sorts of ways, from a caravan down to a carrier's cart; +but the best society is the best every where; and I am happy I have +fallen in with a gentleman who suits me so well as you.--That grave, +steady attention of yours reminds me of Elfi Bey--you might talk to him +in English, or any thing he understood least of--you might have read +Aristotle to Elfi, and not a muscle would he stir--give him his pipe, +and he would sit on his cushion with a listening air as if he took in +every word of what you said." + +Captain Jekyl threw away the remnant of his cigar, with a little +movement of pettishness, and began to whistle an opera air. + +"There again, now!--That is just so like the Marquis of Roccombole, +another dear friend of mine, that whistles all the time you talk to +him--He says he learned it in the Reign of Terror, when a man was glad +to whistle to show his throat was whole. And, talking of great folk, +what do you think of this affair between Lord Etherington and his +brother, or cousin, as some folk call him?" + +Jekyl absolutely started at the question; a degree of emotion, which, +had it been witnessed by any of his fashionable friends, would for ever +have ruined his pretensions to rank in the first order. + +"What affair?" he asked, so soon as he could command a certain degree of +composure. + +"Why, you know the news surely? Francis Tyrrel, whom all the company +voted a coward the other day, turns out as brave a fellow as any of us; +for, instead of having run away to avoid having his own throat cut by +Sir Bingo Binks, he was at the very moment engaged in a gallant attempt +to murder his elder brother, or his more lawful brother, or his cousin, +or some such near relation." + +"I believe you are misinformed, sir," said Jekyl dryly, and then +resumed, as deftly as he could, his proper character of a pococurante. + +"I am told," continued Touchwood, "one Jekyl acted as a second to them +both on the occasion--a proper fellow, sir--one of those fine gentlemen +whom we pay for polishing the pavement in Bond Street, and looking at a +thick shoe and a pair of worsted stockings, as if the wearer were none +of their paymasters. However, I believe the Commander-in-Chief is like +to discard him when he hears what has happened." + +"Sir!" said Jekyl, fiercely--then, recollecting the folly of being angry +with an original of his companion's description, he proceeded more +coolly, "You are misinformed--Captain Jekyl knew nothing of any such +matter as you refer to--you talk of a person you know nothing +of--Captain Jekyl is----(Here he stopped a little, scandalized, perhaps, +at the very idea of vindicating himself to such a personage from such a +charge.) + +"Ay, ay," said the traveller, filling up the chasm in his own way, "he +is not worth our talking of, certainly--but I believe he knew as much of +the matter as either you or I do, for all that." + +"Sir, this is either a very great mistake, or wilful impertinence," +answered the officer. "However absurd or intrusive you may be, I cannot +allow you, either in ignorance or incivility, to use the name of Captain +Jekyl with disrespect.--I am Captain Jekyl, sir." + +"Very like, very like," said Touchwood, with the most provoking +indifference; "I guessed as much before." + +"Then, sir, you may guess what is likely to follow, when a gentleman +hears himself unwarrantably and unjustly slandered," replied Captain +Jekyl, surprised and provoked that his annunciation of name and rank +seemed to be treated so lightly. "I advise you, sir, not to proceed too +far upon the immunities of your age and insignificance." + +"I never presume farther than I have good reason to think necessary, +Captain Jekyl," answered Touchwood, with great composure. "I am too old, +as you say, for any such idiotical business as a duel, which no nation I +know of practises but our silly fools of Europe--and then, as for your +switch, which you are grasping with so much dignity, that is totally out +of the question. Look you, young gentleman; four-fifths of my life have +been spent among men who do not set a man's life at the value of a +button on his collar--every person learns, in such cases, to protect +himself as he can; and whoever strikes me must stand to the +consequences. I have always a brace of bull-dogs about me, which put age +and youth on a level. So suppose me horsewhipped, and pray, at the same +time, suppose yourself shot through the body. The same exertion of +imagination will serve for both purposes." + +So saying, he exhibited a very handsome, highly finished, and +richly-mounted pair of pistols. + +"Catch me without my tools," said he, significantly buttoning his coat +over the arms, which were concealed in a side-pocket, ingeniously +contrived for that purpose. "I see you do not know what to make of me," +he continued, in a familiar and confidential tone; "but, to tell you the +truth, everybody that has meddled in this St. Ronan's business is a +little off the hooks--something of a _tete exaltee_, in plain words, a +little crazy, or so; and I do not affect to be much wiser than other +people." + +"Sir," said Jekyl, "your manners and discourse are so unprecedented, +that I must ask your meaning plainly and decidedly--Do you mean to +insult me or no?" + +"No insult at all, young gentleman--all fair meaning, and above board--I +only wished to let you know what the world may say, that is all." + +"Sir," said Jekyl, hastily, "the world may tell what lies it pleases; +but I was not present at the rencontre between Etherington and Mr. +Tyrrel--I was some hundred miles off." + +"There now," said Touchwood, "there _was_ a rencontre between them--the +very thing I wanted to know." + +"Sir," said Jekyl, aware too late that, in his haste to vindicate +himself, he had committed his friend, "I desire you will found nothing +on an expression hastily used to vindicate myself from a false +aspersion--I only meant to say, if there was an affair such as you talk +of, I knew nothing of it." + +"Never mind--never mind--I shall make no bad use of what I have +learned," said Touchwood. "Were you to eat your words with the best +fish-sauce, (and that is Burgess's,) I have got all the information from +them I wanted." + +"You are strangely pertinacious, sir," replied Jekyl. + +"O, a rock, a piece of flint for that--What I have learned, I have +learned, but I will make no bad use of it.--Hark ye, Captain, I have no +malice against your friend--perhaps the contrary--but he is in a bad +course, sir--has kept a false reckoning, for as deep as he thinks +himself; and I tell you so, because I hold you (your finery out of the +question) to be, as Hamlet says, indifferent honest; but, if you were +not, why necessity is necessity; and a man will take a Bedouin for his +guide in the desert, whom he would not trust with an aspar in the +cultivated field; so I think of reposing some confidence in you--have +not made up my mind yet, though." + +"On my word, sir, I am greatly flattered both by your intentions and +your hesitation," said Captain Jekyl. "You were pleased to say just now, +that every one concerned with these matters was something particular." + +"Ay, ay--something crazy--a little mad, or so. That was what I said, and +I can prove it." + +"I should be glad to hear the proof," said Jekyl--"I hope you do not +except yourself?" + +"Oh! by no means," answered Touchwood; "I am one of the maddest old boys +ever slept out of straw, or went loose. But you can put fishing +questions in your turn, Captain, I see that--you would fain know how +much, or how little, I am in all these secrets. Well, that is as +hereafter may be. In the meantime, here are my proofs.--Old Scrogie +Mowbray was mad, to like the sound of Mowbray better than that of +Scrogie; young Scrogie was mad, not to like it as well. The old Earl of +Etherington was not sane when he married a French wife in secret, and +devilish mad indeed when he married an English one in public. Then for +the good folk here, Mowbray of St. Ronan's is cracked, when he wishes to +give his sister to he knows not precisely whom: She is a fool not to +take him, because she _does_ know who he is, and what has been between +them; and your friend is maddest of all, who seeks her under so heavy a +penalty:--and you and I, Captain, go mad gratis, for company's sake, +when we mix ourselves with such a mess of folly and frenzy." + +"Really, sir, all that you have said is an absolute riddle to me," +replied the embarrassed Jekyl. + +"Riddles may be read," said Touchwood, nodding; "if you have any desire +to read mine, pray, take notice, that this being our first interview, I +have exerted myself _faire les frais du conversation_, as Jack Frenchman +says; if you want another, you may come to Mrs. Dods's at the Cleikum +Inn, any day before Saturday, at four precisely, when you will find none +of your half-starved, long-limbed bundles of bones, which you call +poultry at the table-d'hote, but a right Chitty-gong fowl!--I got Mrs. +Dods the breed from old Ben Vandewash, the Dutch broker--stewed to a +minute, with rice and mushrooms.--If you can eat without a silver fork, +and your appetite serves you, you shall be welcome--that's all.--So, +good morning to you, good master lieutenant, for a captain of the Guards +is but a lieutenant after all." + +So saying, and ere Jekyl could make any answer, the old gentleman turned +short off into a path which led to the healing fountain, branching away +from that which conducted to the Hotel. + +Uncertain with whom he had been holding a conversation so strange, Jekyl +remained looking after him, until his attention was roused by a little +boy, who crept out from an adjoining thicket, with a switch in his hand, +which he had been just cutting,--probably against regulations to the +contrary effect made and provided, for he held himself ready to take +cover in the copse again, in case any one were in sight who might be +interested in chastising his delinquency. Captain Jekyl easily +recognised in him one of that hopeful class of imps, who pick up a +precarious livelihood about places of public resort, by going errands, +brushing shoes, doing the groom's and coachman's work in the stables, +driving donkeys, opening gates, and so forth, for about one-tenth part +of their time, spending the rest in gambling, sleeping in the sun, and +otherwise qualifying themselves to exercise the profession of thieves +and pickpockets, either separately, or in conjunction with those of +waiters, grooms, and postilions. The little outcast had an indifferent +pair of pantaloons, and about half a jacket, for, like Pentapolin with +the naked arm, he went on action with his right shoulder bare; a third +part of what had once been a hat covered his hair, bleached white with +the sun, and his face, as brown as a berry, was illuminated by a pair of +eyes, which, for spying out either peril or profit, might have rivalled +those of the hawk.--In a word, it was the original Puck of the Shaws +dramaticals. + +"Come hither, ye unhanged whelp," said Jekyl, "and tell me if you know +the old gentleman that passed down the walk just now--yonder he is, +still in sight." + +"It is the Naboab," said the boy; "I could swear to his back among all +the backs at the Waal, your honour." + +"What do you call a Nabob, you varlet?" + +"A Naboab--a Naboab?" answered the scout; "odd, I believe it is ane +comes frae foreign parts, with mair siller than his pouches can haud, +and spills it a' through the country--they are as yellow as orangers, +and maun hae a' thing their ain gate." + +"And what is this Naboab's name, as you call him?" demanded Jekyl. + +"His name is Touchwood," said his informer; "ye may see him at the Waal +every morning." + +"I have not seen him at the ordinary." + +"Na, na," answered the boy; "he is a queer auld cull, he disna frequent +wi' other folk, but lives upby at the Cleikum.--He gave me half-a-crown +yince, and forbade me to play it awa' at pitch and toss." + +"And you disobeyed him, of course?" + +"Na, I didna dis-obeyed him--I played it awa' at +neevie-neevie-nick-nack." + +"Well, there is sixpence for thee; lose it to the devil in any way thou +think'st proper." + +So saying he gave the little galopin his donative, and a slight rap on +the pate at the same time, which sent him scouring from his presence. He +himself hastened to Lord Etherington's apartments, and, as luck would +have it, found the Earl alone. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[II-6] Forgive me, sir, I was bred in the Imperial service, and must smoke +a little. + +[II-7] Smoke as much as you please; I have got my pipe, too.--See what a +beautiful head! + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +DISCUSSION. + + I will converse with iron-witted fools + And unrespective boys--none are for me + That look into me with suspicious eyes. + +_Richard III._ + + +"How now, Jekyl!" said Lord Etherington, eagerly; "what news from the +enemy?--Have you seen him?" + +"I have," replied Jekyl. + +"And in what humour did you find him?--in none that was very favourable, +I dare say, for you have a baffled and perplexed look, that confesses a +losing game--I have often warned you how your hang-dog look betrays you +at brag--And then, when you would fain brush up your courage, and put a +good face on a bad game, your bold looks always remind me of a standard +hoisted only half-mast high, and betraying melancholy and dejection, +instead of triumph and defiance." + +"I am only holding the cards for your lordship at present," answered +Jekyl; "and I wish to Heaven there may be no one looking over the hand." + +"How do you mean by that?" + +"Why, I was beset, on returning through the wood, by an old bore, a +Nabob, as they call him, and Touchwood by name." + +"I have seen such a quiz about," said Lord Etherington--"What of him?" + +"Nothing," answered Jekyl, "except that he seemed to know much more of +your affairs than you would wish or are aware of. He smoked the truth of +the rencontre betwixt Tyrrel and you, and what is worse--I must needs +confess the truth--he contrived to wring out of me a sort of +confirmation of his suspicions." + +"'Slife! wert thou mad?" said Lord Etherington, turning pale; "His is +the very tongue to send the story through the whole country--Hal, you +have undone me." + +"I hope not," said Jekyl; "I trust in Heaven I have not!--His knowledge +is quite general--only that there was some scuffle between you--Do not +look so dismayed about it, or I will e'en go back and cut his throat, to +secure his secrecy." + +"Cursed indiscretion!" answered the Earl--"how could you let him fix on +you at all?" + +"I cannot tell," said Jekyl--"he has powers of boring beyond ten of the +dullest of all possible doctors--stuck like a limpet to a rock--a +perfect double of the Old Man of the Sea, who I take to have been the +greatest bore on record." + +"Could you not have turned him on his back like a turtle, and left him +there?" said Lord Etherington. + +"And had an ounce of lead in my body for my pains? No--no--we have +already had footpad work enough--I promise you the old buck was armed, +as if he meant to bing folks on the low toby."[II-8] + +"Well--well--But Martigny, or Tyrrel, as you call him--what says he?" + +"Why, Tyrrel, or Martigny, as your lordship calls him," answered Jekyl, +"will by no means listen to your lordship's proposition. He will not +consent that Miss Mowbray's happiness shall be placed in your lordship's +keeping; nay, it did not meet his approbation a bit the more, when I +hinted at the acknowledgment of the marriage, or the repetition of the +ceremony, attended by an immediate separation, which I thought I might +venture to propose." + +"And on what grounds does he refuse so reasonable an accommodation?" +said Lord Etherington--"Does he still seek to marry the girl himself?" + +"I believe he thinks the circumstances of the case render that +impossible," replied his confidant. + +"What? then he would play the dog in the manger--neither eat nor let +eat?--He shall find himself mistaken. She has used me like a dog, Jekyl, +since I saw you; and, by Jove! I will have her, that I may break her +pride, and cut him to the liver with the agony of seeing it." + +"Nay, but hold--hold!" said Jekyl; "perhaps I have something to say on +his part, that may be a better compromise than all you could have by +teasing him. He is willing to purchase what he calls Miss Mowbray's +tranquillity, at the expense of his resignation of his claims to your +father's honours and estate; and he surprised me very much, my lord, by +showing me this list of documents, which, I am afraid, makes his success +more than probable, if there really are such proofs in existence." Lord +Etherington took the paper, and seemed to read with much attention, +while Jekyl proceeded,--"He has written to procure these evidences from +the person with whom they are deposited." + +"We shall see what like they are when they arrive," said Lord +Etherington.--"They come by post, I suppose?" + +"Yes; and may be immediately expected," answered Jekyl. + +"Well--he is my brother on one side of the house, at least," said Lord +Etherington; "and I should not much like to have him lagged for forgery, +which I suppose will be the end of his bolstering up an unsubstantial +plea by fabricated documents--I should like to see these same papers he +talks of." + +"But, my lord," replied Jekyl, "Tyrrel's allegation is, that you _have_ +seen them; and that copies, at least, were made out for you, and are in +your possession--such is his averment." + +"He lies," answered Lord Etherington, "so far as he pretends I know of +such papers. I consider the whole story as froth--foam--fudge, or +whatever is most unsubstantial. It will prove such when the papers +appear, if indeed they ever will appear. The whole is a bully from +beginning to end; and I wonder at thee, Jekyl, for being so thirsty +after syllabub, that you can swallow such whipt cream as that stuff +amounts to. No, no--I know my advantage, and shall use it so as to make +all their hearts bleed. As for these papers, I recollect now that my +agent talked of copies of some manuscripts having been sent him, but the +originals were not then forthcoming; and I'll bet the long odds that +they never are--mere fabrications--if I thought otherwise, would I not +tell you?" + +"Certainly, I hope you would, my lord," said Jekyl; "for I see no chance +of my being useful to you, unless I have the honour to enjoy your +confidence." + +"You do--you do, my friend," said Etherington, shaking him by the hand; +"and since I must consider your present negotiation as failed, I must +devise some other mode of settling with this mad and troublesome +fellow." + +"No violence, my lord," said Jekyl, once more, and with much emphasis. + +"None--none--none, by Heaven!--Why, thou suspicious wretch, must I +swear, to quell your scruples?--On the contrary, it shall not be my +fault, if we are not on decent terms." + +"It would be infinitely to the advantage of both your characters if you +could bring that to pass," answered Jekyl; "and if you are serious in +wishing it, I will endeavour to prepare Tyrrel. He comes to the Well or +to the ordinary to-day, and it would be highly ridiculous to make a +scene." + +"True, true; find him out, my dear Jekyl, and persuade him how foolish +it will be to bring our family quarrels out before strangers, and for +their amusement. They shall see the two bears can meet without +biting.--Go--go--I will follow you instantly--go, and remember you have +my full and exclusive confidence.--Go, half-bred, startling fool!" he +continued, the instant Jekyl had left the room, "with just spirits +enough to ensure your own ruin, by hurrying you into what you are not up +to.--But he has character in the world--is brave--and one of those whose +countenance gives a fair face to a doubtful business. He is my creature, +too--I have bought and paid for him, and it would be idle extravagance +not to make use of him--But as to confidence--no confidence, honest Hal, +beyond that which cannot be avoided. If I wanted a confidant, here comes +a better than thou by half--Solmes has no scruples--he will always give +me money's worth of zeal and secrecy _for_ money." + +His lordship's valet at this moment entered the apartment, a grave, +civil-looking man, past the middle age, with a sallow complexion, a dark +thoughtful eye, slow, and sparing of speech, and sedulously attentive to +all the duties of his situation. + +"Solmes,"--said Lord Etherington, and then stopped short. + +"My lord"--There was a pause; and when Lord Etherington had again said, +"Solmes!" and his valet had answered, "Your lordship," there was a +second pause; until the Earl, as if recollecting himself, "Oh! I +remember what I wished to say--it was about the course of post here. It +is not very regular, I believe?" + +"Regular enough, my lord, so far as concerns this place--the people in +the Aultoun do not get their letters in course." + +"And why not, Solmes?" said his lordship. + +"The old woman who keeps the little inn there, my lord, is on bad terms +with the post-mistress--the one will not send for the letters, and the +other will not dispatch them to the village; so, betwixt them, they are +sometimes lost or mislaid, or returned to the General Post-office." + +"I wish that may not be the case of a packet which I expect in a few +days--it should have been here already, or, perhaps, it may arrive in +the beginning of the week--it is from that formal ass, Trueman the +Quaker, who addresses me by my Christian and family name, Francis +Tyrrel. He is like enough to mistake the inn, too, and I should be sorry +it fell into Monsieur Martigny's hands--I suppose you know he is in that +neighbourhood?--Look after its safety, Solmes--quietly, you understand; +because people might put odd constructions, as if I were wanting a +letter which was not my own." + +"I understand perfectly, my lord," said Solmes, without exhibiting the +slightest change in his sallow countenance, though entirely +comprehending the nature of the service required. + +"And here is a note will pay for postage," said the Earl, putting into +his valet's hand a bank-bill of considerable value; "and you may keep +the balance for occasional expenses." + +This was also fully understood; and Solmes, too politic and cautious +even to look intelligence, or acknowledge gratitude, made only a bow of +acquiescence, put the note into his pocketbook, and assured his lordship +that his commands should be punctually attended to. + +"There goes the agent for my money, and for my purpose," said Lord +Etherington, exultingly; "no extorting of confidence, no demanding of +explanations, no tearing off the veil with which a delicate manoeuvre is +_gaze_--all excuses are received as _argent comptant_, provided only, +that the best excuse of all, the _argent comptant_ itself, come to +recommend them.--Yet I will trust no one--I will out, like a skilful +general, and reconnoitre in person." + +With this resolution, Lord Etherington put on his surtout and cap, and +sallying from his apartments, took the way to the bookseller's shop, +which also served as post-office and circulating library; and being in +the very centre of the parade, (for so is termed the broad terrace walk +which leads from the inn to the Well,) it formed a convenient +lounging-place for newsmongers and idlers of every description. + +The Earl's appearance created, as usual, a sensation upon the public +promenade; but whether it was the suggestion of his own alarmed +conscience, or that there was some real cause for the remark, he could +not help thinking his reception was of a more doubtful character than +usual. His fine figure and easy manners produced their usual effect, and +all whom he spoke to received his attention as an honour; but none +offered, as usual, to unite themselves to him, or to induce him to join +their party. He seemed to be looked on rather as an object of +observation and attention, than as making one of the company; and to +escape from a distant gaze, which became rather embarrassing, he turned +into the little emporium of news and literature. + +He entered unobserved, just as Lady Penelope had finished reading some +verses, and was commenting upon them with all the alacrity of a _femme +savante_, in possession of something which no one is to hear repeated +oftener than once. + +"Copy--no indeed!" these were the snatches which reached Lord +Etherington's ear, from the group of which her ladyship formed the +centre--"honour bright--I must not betray poor Chatterly--besides, his +lordship is my friend, and a person of rank, you know--so one would +not--You have not got the book, Mr. Pott?--you have not got +Statius?--you never have any thing one longs to see." + +"Very sorry, my lady--quite out of copies at present--I expect some in +my next monthly parcel." + +"Good lack, Mr. Pott, that is your never-failing answer," said Lady +Penelope; "I believe if I were to ask you for the last new edition of +the Alkoran, you would tell me it was coming down in your next monthly +parcel." + +"Can't say, my lady, really," answered Mr. Pott; "have not seen the work +advertised yet; but I have no doubt, if it is likely to take, there will +be copies in my next monthly parcel." + +"Mr. Pott's supplies are always in the _paullo post futurum_ tense," +said Mr. Chatterly, who was just entering the shop. + +"Ah! Mr. Chatterly, are you there?" said Lady Penelope; "I lay my death +at your door--I cannot find this Thebaid, where Polynices and his +brother"---- + +"Hush, my lady!--hush, for Heaven's sake!" said the poetical divine, and +looked towards Lord Etherington. Lady Penelope took the hint, and was +silent; but she had said enough to call up the traveller Touchwood, who +raised his head from the newspaper which he was studying, and, without +addressing his discourse to any one in particular, ejaculated, as if in +scorn of Lady Penelope's geography-- + +"Polynices?--Polly Peachum.--There is no such place in the Thebais--the +Thebais is in Egypt--the mummies come from the Thebais--I have been in +the catacombs--caves very curious indeed--we were lapidated by the +natives--pebbled to some purpose, I give you my word. My janizary +thrashed a whole village by way of retaliation." + +While he was thus proceeding, Lord Etherington, as if in a listless +mood, was looking at the letters which stood ranged on the +chimney-piece, and carrying on a languid dialogue with Mrs. Pott, whose +person and manners were not ill adapted to her situation, for she was +good-looking, and vastly fine and affected. + +"Number of letters here which don't seem to find owners, Mrs. Pott?" + +"Great number, indeed, my lord--it is a great vexation, for we are +obliged to return them to the post-office, and the postage is charged +against us if they are lost; and how can one keep sight of them all?" + +"Any love-letters among them, Mrs. Pott?" said his lordship, lowering +his tone. + +"Oh, fie! my lord, how should I know?" answered Mrs. Pott, dropping her +voice to the same cadence. + +"Oh! every one can tell a love-letter--that has ever received one, that +is--one knows them without opening--they are always folded hurriedly and +sealed carefully--and the direction manifests a kind of tremulous +agitation, that marks the state of the writer's nerves--that +now,"--pointing with his switch to a letter upon the chimney-piece, +"that _must_ be a love-letter." + +"He, he, he!" giggled Mrs. Pott, "I beg pardon for laughing, my +lord--but--he, he, he!--that is a letter from one Bindloose, the banker +body, to the old woman Luckie Dods, as they call her, at the +change-house in the Aultoun." + +"Depend upon it then, Mrs. Pott, that your neighbour, Mrs. Dods, has got +a lover in Mr. Bindloose--unless the banker has been shaking hands with +the palsy. Why do you not forward her letter?--you are very cruel to +keep it in durance here." + +"Me forward!" answered Mrs. Pott; "the cappernoity, old, girning +alewife, may wait long enough or I forward it--She'll not loose the +letters that come to her by the King's post, and she must go on troking +wi' the old carrier, as if there was no post-house in the neighbourhood. +But the solicitor will be about wi' her one of these days." + +"Oh! you are too cruel--you really should send the love-letter; +consider, the older she is, the poor soul has the less time to lose." + +But this was a topic on which Mrs. Pott understood no jesting. She was +well aware of our matron's inveteracy against her and her establishment, +and she resented it as a placeman resents the efforts of a radical. She +answered something sulkily, "That they that loosed letters should have +letters; and neither Luckie Dods, nor any of her lodgers, should ever +see the scrape of a pen from the St. Ronan's office, that they did not +call for and pay for." + +It is probable that this declaration contained the essence of the +information which Lord Etherington had designed to extract by his +momentary flirtation with Mrs. Pott; for when, retreating as it were +from this sore subject, she asked him, in a pretty mincing tone, to try +his skill in pointing out another love-letter, he only answered +carelessly, "that in order to do that he must write her one;" and +leaving his confidential station by her little throne, he lounged +through the narrow shop, bowed slightly to Lady Penelope as he passed, +and issued forth upon the parade, where he saw a spectacle which might +well have appalled a man of less self-possession than himself. + +Just as he left the shop, little Miss Digges entered almost breathless, +with the emotion of impatience and of curiosity. "Oh la! my lady, what +do you stay here for?--Mr. Tyrrel has just entered the other end of the +parade this moment, and Lord Etherington is walking that way--they must +meet each other.--O lord! come, come away, and see them meet!--I wonder +if they'll speak--I hope they won't fight--Oh la! do come, my lady!" + +"I must go with you, I find," said Lady Penelope; "it is the strangest +thing, my love, that curiosity of yours about other folk's matters--I +wonder what your mamma will say to it." + +"Oh! never mind mamma--nobody minds her--papa, nor nobody--Do come, +dearest Lady Pen, or I will run away by myself.--Mr. Chatterly, do make +her come!" + +"I must come, it seems," said Lady Penelope, "or I shall have a pretty +account of you." + +But, notwithstanding this rebuke, and forgetting, at the same time, that +people of quality ought never to seem in a hurry, Lady Penelope, with +such of her satellites as she could hastily collect around her, tripped +along the parade with unusual haste, in sympathy, doubtless, with Miss +Digges's curiosity, as her ladyship declared she had none of her own. + +Our friend, the traveller, had also caught up Miss Digges's information; +and, breaking off abruptly an account of the Great Pyramid, which had +been naturally introduced by the mention of the Thebais, and echoing the +fair alarmist's words, "hope they won't fight," he rushed upon the +parade, and bustled along as hard as his sturdy supporters could carry +him. If the gravity of the traveller, and the delicacy of Lady Penelope, +were surprised into unwonted haste from their eagerness to witness the +meeting of Tyrrel and Lord Etherington, it may be well supposed that +the decorum of the rest of the company was a slender restraint on their +curiosity, and that they hurried to be present at the expected scene, +with the alacrity of gentlemen of the fancy hastening to a set-to. + +In truth, though the meeting afforded little sport to those who expected +dire conclusions, it was, nevertheless, sufficiently interesting to +those spectators who are accustomed to read the language of suppressed +passion betraying itself at the moment when the parties are most +desirous to conceal it. + +Tyrrel had been followed by several loiterers so soon as he entered the +public walk; and their number was now so much reinforced, that he saw +himself with pain and displeasure the centre of a sort of crowd who +watched his motions. Sir Bingo and Captain MacTurk were the first to +bustle through it, and to address him with as much politeness as they +could command. + +"Servant, sir," mumbled Sir Bingo, extending the right hand of +fellowship and reconciliation, ungloved. "Servant--sorry that anything +should have happened between us--very sorry, on my word." + +"No more need be said, sir," replied Tyrrel; "the whole is forgotten." + +"Very handsome, indeed--quite the civil thing--hope to meet you often, +sir."--And here the knight was silent. + +Meanwhile, the more verbose Captain proceeded, "Och, py Cot, and it was +an awfu' mistake, and I could draw the penknife across my finger for +having written the word.--By my sowl, and I scratched it till I +scratched a hole in the paper.--Och! that I should live to do an uncivil +thing by a gentleman that had got himself hit in an honourable affair! +But you should have written, my dear; for how the devil could we guess +that you were so well provided in quarrels, that you had to settle two +in one day!" + +"I was hurt in an unexpected--an accidental manner, Captain MacTurk. I +did not write, because there was something, in my circumstances at the +moment which required secrecy; but I was resolved, the instant I +recovered, to put myself to rights in your good opinion." + +"Och! and you have done that," said the Captain, nodding sagaciously; +"for Captain Jekyl, who is a fine child, has put us all up to your +honourable conduct. They are pretty boys, these guardsmen, though they +may play a little fine sometimes, and think more of themselves than +peradventure they need for to do, in comparison with us of the +line.--But he let us know all about it--and, though he said not a word +of a certain fine lord, with his footpad, and his hurt, and what not, +yet we all knew how to lay that and that together.--And if the law would +not right you, and there were bad words between you, why should not two +gentlemen right themselves? And as to your being kinsmen, why should not +kinsmen behave to each other like men of honour? Only, some say you are +father's sons, and that _is_ something too near.--I had once thoughts of +calling out my uncle Dougal myself, for there is no saying where the +line should be drawn; but I thought, on the whole, there should be no +fighting, as there is no marriage, within the forbidden degrees. As for +first cousins--Wheugh!--that's all fair--fire away, Flanigan!--But here +is my lord, just upon us, like a stag of the first head, and the whole +herd behind him." + +Tyrrel stepped forward a little before his officious companions, his +complexion rapidly changing into various shades, like that of one who +forces himself to approach and touch some animal or reptile for which he +entertains that deep disgust and abhorrence which was anciently ascribed +to constitutional antipathy. This appearance of constraint put upon +himself, with the changes which it produced on his face, was calculated +to prejudice him somewhat in the opinion of the spectators, when +compared with the steady, stately, yet, at the same time, easy demeanour +of the Earl of Etherington, who was equal to any man in England in the +difficult art of putting a good countenance on a bad cause. He met +Tyrrel with an air as unembarrassed, as it was cold; and, while he paid +the courtesy of a formal and distant salutation, he said aloud, "I +presume, Mr. Tyrrel de Martigny, that, since you have not thought fit to +avoid this awkward meeting, you are disposed to remember our family +connexion so far as to avoid making sport for the good company?" + +"You have nothing to apprehend from my passion, Mr. Bulmer," replied +Tyrrel, "if you can assure yourself against the consequences of your +own." + +"I am glad of that," said the Earl, with the same composure, but sinking +his voice so as only to be heard by Tyrrel; "and as we may not again in +a hurry hold any communication together, I take the freedom to remind +you, that I sent you a proposal of accommodation by my friend, Mr. +Jekyl." + +"It was inadmissible," said Tyrrel--"altogether inadmissible--both from +reasons which you may guess, and others which it is needless to +detail.--I sent you a proposition, think of it well." + +"I will," replied Lord Etherington, "when I shall see it supported by +those alleged proofs, which I do not believe ever had existence." + +"Your conscience holds another language from your tongue," said Tyrrel; +"but I disclaim reproaches, and decline altercation. I will let Captain +Jekyl know when I have received the papers, which, you say, are +essential to your forming an opinion on my proposal.--In the meanwhile, +do not think to deceive me. I am here for the very purpose of watching +and defeating your machinations; and, while I live, be assured they +shall never succeed.--And now, sir--or my lord--for the titles are in +your choice--fare you well." + +"Hold a little," said Lord Etherington. "Since we are condemned to shock +each other's eyes, it is fit the good company should know what they are +to think of us. You are a philosopher, and do not value the opinion of +the public--a poor worldling like me is desirous to stand fair with +it.--Gentlemen," he continued, raising his voice, "Mr. Winterblossom, +Captain MacTurk, Mr.--what is his name, Jekyl?--Ay, Micklehen--You have, +I believe, all some notion, that this gentleman, my near relation, and +I, have some undecided claims on each other, which prevent our living +upon good terms. We do not mean, however, to disturb you with our family +quarrels; and, for my own part, while this gentleman, Mr. Tyrrel, or +whatever he may please to call himself, remains a member of this +company, my behaviour to him will be the same as to any stranger who may +have that advantage.--Good morrow to you, sir--Good morning, +gentlemen--we all meet at dinner, as usual.--Come, Jekyl." + +So saying, he took Jekyl by the arm, and, gently extricating himself +from the sort of crowd, walked off, leaving most of the company +prepossessed in his favour, by the ease and apparent reasonableness of +his demeanour. Sounds of depreciation, forming themselves indistinctly +into something like the words, "my eye, and Betty Martin," did issue +from the neckcloth of Sir Bingo, but they were not much attended to; for +it had not escaped the observation of the quicksighted gentry at the +Well, that the Baronet's feelings towards the noble Earl were in the +inverse ratio of those displayed by Lady Binks, and that, though ashamed +to testify, or perhaps incapable of feeling, any anxious degree of +jealousy, his temper had been for some time considerably upon the fret; +a circumstance concerning which his fair moiety did not think it +necessary to give herself any concern. + +Meanwhile, the Earl of Etherington walked onward with his confidant, in +the full triumph of successful genius. + +"You see," he said, "Jekyl, that I can turn a corner with any man in +England. It was a proper blunder of yours, that you must extricate the +fellow from the mist which accident had flung around him--you might as +well have published the story of our rencontre at once, for every one +can guess it, by laying time, place, and circumstance together; but +never trouble your brains for a justification. You marked how I assumed +my natural superiority over him--towered up in the full pride of +legitimacy--silenced him even where the good company most do congregate. +This will go to Mowbray through his agent, and will put him still madder +on my alliance. I know he looks jealously on my flirtation with a +certain lady--the dasher yonder--nothing makes a man sensible of the +value of an opportunity, but the chance of losing it." + +"I wish to Heaven you would give up thoughts of Miss Mowbray!" said +Jekyl; "and take Tyrrel's offer, if he has the means of making it good." + +"Ay, if--if. But I am quite sure he has no such rights as he pretends +to, and that his papers are all a deception.--Why do you put your eye +upon me as fixed as if you were searching out some wonderful secret?" + +"I wish I knew what to think of your real _bona fide_ belief respecting +these documents," said Jekyl, not a little puzzled by the steady and +unembarrassed air of his friend. + +"Why, thou most suspicious of coxcombs," said Etherington, "what the +devil would you have me say to you?--Can I, as the lawyers say, prove a +negative? or, is it not very possible, that such things may exist, +though I have never seen or heard of them? All I can say is, that of all +men I am the most interested to deny the existence of such documents; +and, therefore, certainly will not admit of it, unless I am compelled to +do so by their being produced; nor then either, unless I am at the same +time well assured of their authenticity." + +"I cannot blame you for your being hard of faith, my lord," said Jekyl; +"but still I think if you can cut out with your earldom, and your noble +hereditary estate, I would, in your case, pitch Nettlewood to the +devil." + +"Yes, as you pitched your own patrimony, Jekyl; but you took care to +have the spending of it first.--What would _you_ give for such an +opportunity of piecing your fortunes by marriage?--Confess the truth." + +"I might be tempted, perhaps," said Jekyl, "in my present circumstances; +but if they were what they have been, I should despise an estate that +was to be held by petticoat tenure, especially when the lady of the +manor was a sickly fantastic girl, that hated me, as this Miss Mowbray +has the bad taste to hate you." + +"Umph--sickly?--no, no, she is not sickly--she is as healthy as any one +in constitution--and, on my word, I think her paleness only renders her +more interesting. The last time I saw her, I thought she might have +rivalled one of Canova's finest statues." + +"Yes; but she is indifferent to you--you do not love her," said Jekyl. + +"She is any thing but indifferent to me," said the Earl; "she becomes +daily more interesting--for her dislike piques me; and besides, she has +the insolence openly to defy and contemn me before her brother, and in +the eyes of all the world. I have a kind of loving hatred--a sort of +hating love for her; in short, thinking upon her is like trying to read +a riddle, and makes one make quite as many blunders, and talk just as +much nonsense. If ever I have the opportunity, I will make her pay for +all her airs." + +"What airs?" said Jekyl. + +"Nay, the devil may describe them, for I cannot; but, for example--Since +her brother has insisted on her receiving me, or I should rather say on +her appearing when I visit Shaws-Castle, one would think her invention +has toiled in discovering different ways of showing want of respect to +me, and dislike to my presence. Instead of dressing herself as a lady +should, especially on such occasions, she chooses some fantastic, or +old-fashioned, or negligent bedizening, which makes her at least look +odd, if it cannot make her ridiculous--such triple tiaras of +various-coloured gauze on her head--such pieces of old tapestry, I +think, instead of shawls and pelisses--such thick-soled shoes--such +tan-leather gloves--mercy upon us, Hal, the very sight of her equipment +would drive mad a whole conclave of milliners! Then her postures are so +strange--she does so stoop and lollop, as the women call it, so cross +her legs and square her arms--were the goddess of grace to look down on +her, it would put her to flight for ever!" + +"And you are willing to make this awkward, ill-dressed, unmannered +dowdy, your Countess, Etherington; you, for whose critical eye half the +town dress themselves?" said Jekyl. + +"It is all a trick, Hal--all an assumed character to get rid of me, to +disgust me, to baffle me; but I am not to be had so easily. The brother +is driven to despair--he bites his nails, winks, coughs, makes signs, +which she always takes up at cross-purpose.--I hope he beats her after I +go away; there would be a touch of consolation, were one but certain of +that." + +"A very charitable hope, truly, and your present feelings might lead the +lady to judge what she may expect after wedlock. But," added Jekyl, +"cannot you, so skilful in fathoming every mood of the female mind, +divine some mode of engaging her in conversation?" + +"Conversation!" replied the Earl; "why, ever since the shock of my first +appearance was surmounted, she has contrived to vote me a nonentity; and +that she may annihilate me completely, she has chosen, of all +occupations, that of working a stocking! From what cursed old +antediluvian, who lived before the invention of spinning-jennies, she +learned this craft, Heaven only knows; but there she sits, with her work +pinned to her knee--not the pretty taper silken fabric, with which +Jeannette of Amiens coquetted, while Tristram Shandy was observing her +progress; but a huge worsted bag, designed for some flat-footed old +pauper, with heels like an elephant--And there she squats, counting all +the stitches as she works, and refusing to speak, or listen, or look up, +under pretence that it disturbs her calculation!" + +"An elegant occupation, truly, and I wonder it does not work a cure upon +her noble admirer," said Jekyl. + +"Confound her--no--she shall not trick me. And then amid this +affectation of vulgar stolidity, there break out such sparkles of +exultation, when she thinks she has succeeded in baffling her brother, +and in plaguing me, that, by my faith, Hal, I could not tell, were it at +my option, whether to kiss or to cuff her." + +"You are determined to go on with this strange affair, then?" said +Jekyl. + +"On--on--on, my boy!--Clara and Nettlewood for ever!" answered the Earl. +"Besides this brother of hers provokes me too--he does not do for me +half what he might--what he ought to do. He stands on points of honour, +forsooth, this broken-down horse-jockey, who swallowed my two thousand +pounds as a pointer would a pat of butter.--I can see he wishes to play +fast and loose--has some suspicions, like you, Hal, upon the strength of +my right to my father's titles and estate; as if, with the tithe of the +Nettlewood property alone, I would not be too good a match for one of +his beggarly family. He must scheme, forsooth, this half-baked Scotch +cake!--He must hold off and on, and be cautious, and wait the result, +and try conclusions with me, this lump of oatmeal dough!--I am much +tempted to make an example of him in the course of my proceedings." + +"Why, this is vengeance horrible and dire," said Jekyl; "yet I give up +the brother to you; he is a conceited coxcomb, and deserves a lesson. +But I would fain intercede for the sister." + +"We shall see"--replied the Earl; and then suddenly, "I tell you what it +is, Hal; her caprices are so diverting, that I sometimes think out of +mere contradiction, I almost love her; at least, if she would but clear +old scores, and forget one unlucky prank of mine, it should be her own +fault if I did not make her a happy woman." + +FOOTNOTE: + +[II-8] "Rob as a footpad." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +A DEATH-BED. + + It comes--it wrings me in my parting hour, + The long-hid crime--the well-disguised guilt. + Bring me some holy priest to lay the spectre! + +_Old Play._ + + +The general expectation of the company had been disappointed by the +pacific termination of the meeting betwixt the Earl of Etherington and +Tyrrel, the anticipation of which had created so deep a sensation. It +had been expected that some appalling scene would have taken place; +instead of which, each party seemed to acquiesce in a sullen neutrality, +and leave the war to be carried on by their lawyers. It was generally +understood that the cause was removed out of the courts of Bellona into +that of Themis; and although the litigants continued to inhabit the same +neighbourhood, and once or twice met at the public walks or public +table, they took no notice of each other, farther than by exchanging on +such occasions, a grave and distant bow. + +In the course of two or three days, people ceased to take interest in a +feud so coldly conducted; and if they thought of it at all, it was but +to wonder that both the parties should persevere in residing near the +Spa, and in chilling, with their unsocial behaviour, a party met +together for the purposes of health and amusement. + +But the brothers, as the reader is aware, however painful their +occasional meetings might be, had the strongest reasons to remain in +each other's neighbourhood--Lord Etherington to conduct his design upon +Miss Mowbray, Tyrrel to disconcert his plan, if possible, and both to +await the answer which should be returned by the house in London, who +were depositaries of the papers left by the late Earl. + +Jekyl, anxious to assist his friend as much as possible, made in the +meantime a visit to old Touchwood at the Aultoun, expecting to find him +as communicative as he had formerly been on the subject of the quarrel +betwixt the brothers, and trusting to discover, by dint of address, +whence he had derived his information concerning the affairs of the +noble house of Etherington. But the confidence which he had been induced +to expect on the part of the old traveller was not reposed. Ferdinand +Mendez Pinto, as the Earl called him, had changed his mind, or was not +in the vein of communication. The only proof of his confidence worth +mentioning, was his imparting to the young officer a valuable receipt +for concocting curry-powder. + +Jekyl was therefore reduced to believe that Touchwood, who appeared all +his life to have been a great intermeddler in other people's matters, +had puzzled out the information which he appeared to possess of Lord +Etherington's affairs, through some of those obscure sources whence very +important secrets do frequently, to the astonishment and confusion of +those whom they concern, escape to the public. He thought this the more +likely, as Touchwood was by no means critically nice in his society, but +was observed to converse as readily with a gentleman's gentleman, as +with the gentleman to whom he belonged, and with a lady's attendant, as +with the lady herself. He that will stoop to this sort of society, who +is fond of tattle, being at the same time disposed to pay some +consideration for gratification of his curiosity, and not over +scrupulous respecting its accuracy, may always command a great quantity +of private anecdote. Captain Jekyl naturally enough concluded, that this +busy old man became in some degree master of other people's affairs by +such correspondences as these; and he could himself bear witness to his +success in cross-examination, as he had been surprised into an avowal of +the rencontre between the brothers, by an insidious observation of the +said Touchwood. He reported, therefore, to the Earl, after this +interview, that, on the whole, he thought he had no reason to fear much +on the subject of the traveller, who, though he had become acquainted, +by some means or other, with some leading facts of his remarkable +history; only possessed them in a broken, confused, and desultory +manner, insomuch that he seemed to doubt whether the parties in the +expected lawsuit were brothers or cousins, and appeared totally ignorant +of the facts on which it was to be founded. + +It was the next day after this _eclaircissement_ on the subject of +Touchwood, that Lord Etherington dropped as usual into the bookseller's +shop, got his papers, and skimming his eye over the shelf on which lay, +till called for, the postponed letters destined for the Aultoun, saw +with a beating heart the smart post-mistress toss amongst them, with an +air of sovereign contempt, a pretty large packet, addressed to Francis +Tyrrel, Esq. &c. He withdrew his eyes, as if conscious that even to have +looked on this important parcel might engender some suspicion of his +purpose, or intimate the deep interest which he took in the contents of +the missive which was so slightly treated by his friend Mrs. Pott. At +this moment the door of the shop opened, and Lady Penelope Penfeather +entered, with her eternal _pendante_, the little Miss Digges. + +"Have you seen Mr. Mowbray?--Has Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's been down +this morning?--Do you know any thing of Mr. Mowbray, Mrs. Pott?" were +questions which the lettered lady eagerly huddled on the back of each +other, scarcely giving time to the lady of letters to return a decided +negative to all and each of them. + +"Mr. Mowbray was not about--was not coming there this morning--his +servant had just called for letters and papers, and announced as much." + +"Good Heaven! how unfortunate!" said Lady Penelope, with a deep sigh, +and sinking down on one of the little sofas in an attitude of shocking +desolation, which called the instant attention of Mr. Pott and his good +woman, the first uncorking a small phial of salts, for he was a +pharmacopolist as well as vender of literature and transmitter of +letters, and the other hastening for a glass of water. A strong +temptation thrilled from Lord Etherington's eyes to his finger-ends. Two +steps might have brought him within arm's-length of the unwatched +packet, on the contents of which, in all probability, rested the hope +and claims of his rival in honour and fortune; and, in the general +confusion, was it impossible to possess himself of it unobserved? But +no--no--no--the attempt was too dreadfully dangerous to be risked; and, +passing from one extreme to another, he felt as if he was incurring +suspicion by suffering Lady Penelope to play off her airs of affected +distress and anxiety, without seeming to take that interest in them +which her rank at least might be supposed to demand. Stung with this +apprehension, he hastened to express himself so anxiously on the +subject, and to demonstrate so busily his wish to assist her ladyship, +that he presently stood committed a great deal farther than he had +intended. Lady Penelope was infinitely obliged to his lordship--indeed, +it was her character in general not to permit herself to be overcome by +circumstances; but something had happened, so strange, so embarrassing, +so melancholy, that she owned it had quite overcome her--notwithstanding, +she had at all times piqued herself on supporting her own distresses, +better than she was able to suppress her emotions in viewing those of +others. + +"Could he be of any use?" Lord Etherington asked. "She had enquired +after Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's--his servant was at her ladyship's +service, if she chose to send to command his attendance." + +"Oh! no, no!" said Lady Penelope; "I dare say, my dear lord, you will +answer the purpose a great deal better than Mr. Mowbray--that is, +provided you are a Justice of Peace." + +"A Justice of Peace!" said Lord Etherington, much surprised; "I am in +the commission unquestionably, but not for any Scotch county." + +"O, that does not signify," said Lady Penelope; "and if you will trust +yourself with me a little way, I will explain to you how you can do one +of the most charitable, and kind, and generous things in the world." + +Lord Etherington's delight in the exercise of charity, kindness, and +generosity, was not so exuberant as to prevent his devising some means +for evading Lady Penelope's request, when, looking through the +sash-door, he had a distant glance of his servant Solmes approaching the +Post-office. + +I have heard of a sheep-stealer who had rendered his dog so skilful an +accomplice in his nefarious traffic, that he used to send him out to +commit acts of felony by himself, and had even contrived to impress on +the poor cur the caution that he should not, on such occasions, seem +even to recognise his master, if they met accidentally.[II-9] Apparently, +Lord Etherington conducted himself upon a similar principle; for he had +no sooner a glimpse of his agent, than he seemed to feel the necessity +of leaving the stage free for his machinations. + +"My servant," he said, with as much indifference as he could assume, +"will call for my letters--I must attend Lady Penelope;" and, instantly +proffering his services as Justice of the Peace, or in whatever other +quality she chose to employ them, he hastily presented his arm, and +scarce gave her ladyship time to recover from her state of languor to +the necessary degree of activity, ere he hurried her from the shop; and, +with her thin hatchet-face chattering close to his ear, her yellow and +scarlet feathers crossing his nose, her lean right honourable arm +hooking his elbow, he braved the suppressed titters and sneers of all +the younger women whom he met as they traversed the parade. One glance +of intelligence, though shot at a distance, passed betwixt his lordship +and Solmes, as the former left the public walk under the guidance of +Lady Penelope, his limbs indeed obeying her pleasure, and his ears +dinned with her attempts to explain the business in question, but his +mind totally indifferent where he was going, or ignorant on what +purpose, and exclusively occupied with the packet in Mrs. Pott's heap of +postponed letters, and its probable fate. + +At length an effort of recollection made Lord Etherington sensible that +his abstraction must seem strange, and, as his conscience told him, even +suspicious in the eyes of his companion; putting therefore the necessary +degree of constraint upon himself, he expressed, for the first time, +curiosity to know where their walk was to terminate. It chanced, that +this was precisely the question which he needed not to have asked, if he +had paid but the slightest attention to the very voluble communications +of her ladyship, which had all turned upon this subject. + +"Now, my dear lord," she said, "I must believe you lords of the creation +think us poor simple women the vainest fools alive. I have told you how +much pain it costs me to speak about my little charities, and yet you +come to make me tell you the whole story over again. But I hope, after +all, your lordship is not surprised at what I have thought it my duty to +do in this sad affair--perhaps I have listened too much to the dictates +of my own heart, which are apt to be so deceitful." + +On the watch to get at something explanatory, yet afraid, by demanding +it directly, to show that the previous tide of narrative and pathos had +been lost on an inattentive ear, Lord Etherington could only say, that +Lady Penelope could not err in acting according to the dictates of her +own judgment. + +Still the compliment had not sauce enough for the lady's sated palate; +so, like a true glutton of praise, she began to help herself with the +soup-ladle. + +"Ah! judgment?--how is it you men know us so little, that you think we +can pause to weigh sentiment in the balance of judgment?--that is +expecting rather too much from us poor victims of our feelings. So that +you must really hold me excused if I forgot the errors of this guilty +and unhappy creature, when I looked upon her wretchedness--Not that I +would have my little friend, Miss Digges, or your lordship, suppose that +I am capable of palliating the fault, while I pity the poor, miserable +sinner. Oh, no--Walpole's verses express beautifully what one ought to +feel on such occasions-- + + 'For never was the gentle breast + Insensible to human woes; + Feeling, though firm, it melts distress'd + For weaknesses it never knows.'" + +"Most accursed of all _precieuses_," thought his lordship, "when wilt +thou, amidst all thy chatter, utter one word sounding like sense or +information!" + +But, Lady Penelope went on--"If you knew, my lord, how I lament my +limited means on those occasions! but I have gathered something among +the good people at the Well. I asked that selfish wretch, Winterblossom, +to walk down with me to view her distress, and the heartless beast told +me he was afraid of infection!--infection from a puer--puerperal fever! +I should not perhaps pronounce the word, but science is of no +sex--however, I have always used thieves' vinegar essence, and never +have gone farther than the threshold." + +Whatever were Etherington's faults, he did not want charity, so far as +it consists in giving alms. + +"I am sorry," he said, taking out his purse, "your ladyship should not +have applied to me." + +"Pardon me, my lord, we only beg from our friends; and your lordship is +so constantly engaged with Lady Binks, that we have rarely the pleasure +of seeing you in what I call _my_ little circle." + +Lord Etherington, without further answer, tendered a couple of guineas, +and observed, that the poor woman should have medical attendance. + +"Why, so I say," answered Lady Penelope; "and I asked the brute +Quackleben, who, I am sure, owes me some gratitude, to go and see her; +but the sordid monster answered, 'Who was to pay him?'--He grows every +day more intolerable, now that he seems sure of marrying that fat blowzy +widow. He could not, I am sure, expect that I--out of my pittance--And +besides, my lord, is there not a law that the parish, or the county, or +the something or other, shall pay for physicking the poor?" + +"We will find means to secure the Doctor's attendance," said Lord +Etherington; "and I believe my best way will be to walk back to the +Well, and send him to wait on the patient. I am afraid I can be of +little use to a poor woman in a childbed fever." + +"Puerperal, my lord, puerperal," said Lady Penelope, in a tone of +correction. + +"In a puerperal fever, then," said Lord Etherington; "why, what can I do +to help her?" + +"Oh! my lord, you have forgotten that this Anne Heggie, that I told you +of, came here with one child in her arms--and another--in short, about +to become a mother again--and settled herself in this miserable hut I +told you of--and some people think the minister should have sent her to +her own parish; but he is a strange, soft-headed, sleepy sort of man, +not over active in his parochial duties. However, there she settled, and +there was something about her quite beyond the style of a common pauper, +my lord--not at all the disgusting sort of person that you give a +sixpence to while you look another way--but some one that seemed to have +seen better days--one that, as Shakspeare says, could a tale +unfold--though, indeed, I have never thoroughly learned her +history--only, that to-day, as I called to know how she was, and sent my +maid into her hut with some trifle, not worth mentioning, I find there +is something hangs about her mind concerning the Mowbray family here of +St. Ronan's--and my woman says the poor creature is dying, and is raving +either for Mr. Mowbray or for some magistrate to receive a declaration; +and so I have given you the trouble to come with me, that we may get out +of the poor creature, if possible, whatever she has got to say.--I hope +it is not murder--I hope not--though young St. Ronan's has been a +strange, wild, daring, thoughtless creature--_sgherro insigne_, as the +Italian says.--But here is the hut, my lord--pray, walk in." + +The mention of the St. Ronan's family, and of a secret relating to them, +banished the thoughts which Lord Etherington began to entertain of +leaving Lady Penelope to execute her works of devoted charity without +his assistance. It was now with an interest equal to her own, that he +stood before a most miserable hut, where the unfortunate female, her +distresses not greatly relieved by Lady Penelope's ostentatious bounty, +had resided both previous to her confinement, and since that event had +taken place, with an old woman, one of the parish poor, whose miserable +dole the minister had augmented, that she might have some means of +assisting the stranger. + +Lady Penelope lifted the latch and entered, after a momentary +hesitation, which proceeded from a struggle betwixt her fear of +infection, and her eager curiosity to know something, she could not +guess what, that might affect the Mowbrays in their honour or fortunes. +The latter soon prevailed, and she entered, followed by Lord +Etherington. The lady, like other comforters of the cabins of the poor, +proceeded to rebuke the grumbling old woman for want of order and +cleanliness--censured the food which was provided for the patient, and +enquired particularly after the wine which she had left to make caudle +with. The crone was not so dazzled with Lady Penelope's dignity or +bounty as to endure her reprimand with patience. "They that had their +bread to won wi' ae arm," she said, for the other hung powerless by her +side, "had mair to do than to soop hooses; if her leddyship wad let her +ain idle quean of a lass take the besom, she might make the house as +clean as she liked; and madam wad be a' the better of the exercise, and +wad hae done, at least, ae turn of wark at the week's end." + +"Do you hear the old hag, my lord?" said Lady Penelope. "Well, the poor +are horrid ungrateful wretches--And the wine, dame--the wine?" + +"The wine!--there was hardly half a mutchkin, and puir, thin, fusionless +skink it was--the wine was drank out, ye may swear--we didna fling it +ower our shouther--if ever we were to get good o't, it was by taking it +naked, and no wi' your sugar and your slaisters--I wish, for ane, I had +ne'er kend the sour smack o't. If the bedral hadna gien me a drap of +usquebaugh, I might e'en hae died of your leddyship's liquor, for"---- + +Lord Etherington here interrupted the grumbling crone, thrusting some +silver into her grasp, and at the same time begging her to be silent. +The hag weighed the crown-piece in her hand, and crawled to her +chimney-corner, muttering as she went,--"This is something like--this is +something like--no like rinning into the house and out of the house, and +geeing orders, like mistress and mair, and than a puir shilling again +Saturday at e'en." + +So saying, she sat down to her wheel, and seized, while she spun, her +jet-black cutty pipe, from which she soon sent such clouds of vile +mundungus vapour as must have cleared the premises of Lady Penelope, had +she not been strong in purpose to share the expected confession of the +invalid. As for Miss Digges, she coughed, sneezed, retched, and finally +ran out of the cottage, declaring she could not live in such a smoke, if +it were to hear twenty sick women's last speeches; and that, besides, +she was sure to know all about it from Lady Penelope, if it was ever so +little worth telling over again. + +Lord Etherington was now standing beside the miserable flock-bed, in +which lay the poor patient, distracted, in what seemed to be her dying +moments, with the peevish clamour of the elder infant, to which she +could only reply by low moans, turning her looks as well as she could +from its ceaseless whine to the other side of her wretched couch, where +lay the unlucky creature to which she had last given birth; its +shivering limbs imperfectly covered with a blanket, its little features +already swollen and bloated, and its eyes scarce open, apparently +insensible to the evils of a state from which it seemed about to be +speedily released. + +"You are very ill, poor woman," said Lord Etherington; "I am told you +desire a magistrate." + +"It was Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, whom I desired to see--John Mowbray +of St. Ronan's--the lady promised to bring him here." + +"I am not Mowbray of St. Ronan's," said Lord Etherington; "but I am a +justice of peace, and a member of the legislature--I am, moreover, Mr. +Mowbray's particular friend, if I can be of use to you in any of these +capacities." + +The poor woman remained long silent, and when she spoke it was +doubtfully. + +"Is my Lady Penelope Penfeather there?" she said, straining her darkened +eyes. + +"Her ladyship is present, and within hearing," said Lord Etherington. + +"My case is the worse," answered the dying woman, for so she seemed, "if +I must communicate such a secret as mine to a man of whom I know +nothing, and a woman of whom I only know that she wants discretion." + +"I--I want discretion!" said Lady Penelope; but at a signal from Lord +Etherington she seemed to restrain herself; nor did the sick woman, +whose powers of observation were greatly impaired, seem to be aware of +the interruption. She spoke, notwithstanding her situation, with an +intelligible and even emphatic voice; her manner in a great measure +betraying the influence of the fever, and her tone and language seeming +much superior to her most miserable condition. + +"I am not the abject creature which I seem," she said; "at least, I was +not born to be so. I wish I _were_ that utter abject! I wish I were a +wretched pauper of the lowest class--a starving vagabond--a wifeless +mother--ignorance and insensibility would make me bear my lot like the +outcast animal that dies patiently on the side of the common, where it +has been half-starved during its life. But I--but I--born and bred to +better things, have not lost the memory of them, and they make my +present condition--my shame--my poverty--my infamy--the sight of my +dying babes--the sense that my own death is coming fast on--they make +these things a foretaste of hell!" + +Lady Penelope's self-conceit and affectation were broken down by this +fearful exordium. She sobbed, shuddered, and, for once perhaps in her +life, felt the real, not the assumed necessity, of putting her +handkerchief to her eyes. Lord Etherington also was moved. + +"Good woman," he said, "as far as relieving your personal wants can +mitigate your distress, I will see that that is fully performed, and +that your poor children are attended to." + +"May God bless you!" said the poor woman, with a glance at the wretched +forms beside her; "and may you," she added, after a momentary pause, +"deserve the blessing of God, for it is bestowed in vain on those who +are unworthy of it!" + +Lord Etherington felt, perhaps, a twinge of conscience; for he said, +something hastily, "Pray go on, good woman, if you really have any thing +to communicate to me as a magistrate--it is time your condition was +somewhat mended, and I will cause you to be cared for directly." + +"Stop yet a moment," she said; "let me unload my conscience before I go +hence, for no earthly relief will long avail to prolong my time here.--I +was well born, the more my present shame! well educated, the greater my +present guilt!--I was always, indeed, poor, but I felt not of the ills +of poverty. I only thought of it when my vanity demanded idle and +expensive gratifications, for real wants I knew none. I was companion of +a young lady of higher rank than my own, my relative however, and one of +such exquisite kindness of disposition, that she treated me as a sister, +and would have shared with me all that she had on earth----I scarce +think I can go farther with my story!--something rises to my throat when +I recollect how I rewarded her sisterly love!--I was elder than Clara--I +should have directed her reading, and confirmed her understanding; but +my own bent led me to peruse only works, which, though they burlesque +nature, are seductive to the imagination. We read these follies +together, until we had fashioned out for ourselves a little world of +romance, and prepared ourselves for a maze of adventures. Clara's +imaginations were as pure as those of angels; mine were--but it is +unnecessary to tell them. The fiend, always watchful, presented a +tempter at the moment when it was most dangerous." + +She paused here, as if she found difficulty in expressing herself; and +Lord Etherington, turning, with great appearance of interest, to Lady +Penelope, began to enquire, "Whether it were quite agreeable to her +ladyship to remain any longer an ear-witness of this unfortunate's +confession?--it seems to be verging on some things--things that it might +be unpleasant for your ladyship to hear." + +"I was just forming the same opinion, my lord; and, to say truth, was +about to propose to your lordship to withdraw, and leave me alone with +the poor woman. My sex will make her necessary communications more frank +in your lordship's absence." + +"True, madam; but then I am called here in my capacity of a magistrate." + +"Hush!" said Lady Penelope; "she speaks." + +"They say every woman that yields, makes herself a slave to her seducer; +but I sold my liberty not to a man, but a demon! He made me serve him in +his vile schemes against my friend and patroness--and oh! he found in me +an agent too willing, from mere envy, to destroy the virtue which I had +lost myself. Do not listen to me any more--Go, and leave me to my fate! +I am the most detestable wretch that ever lived--detestable to myself +worst of all, because even in my penitence there is a secret whisper +that tells me, that were I as I have been, I would again act over all +the wickedness I have done, and much worse. Oh! for Heaven's assistance, +to crush the wicked thought!" + +She closed her eyes, folded her emaciated hands, and held them upwards +in the attitude of one who prays internally; presently the hands +separated, and fell gently down on the miserable couch; but her eyes did +not open, nor was there the slightest sign of motion in the features. +Lady Penelope shrieked faintly, hid her eyes, and hurried back from the +bed, while Lord Etherington, his looks darkening with a complication of +feelings, remained gazing on the poor woman, as if eager to discern +whether the spark of life was totally extinct. Her grim old assistant +hurried to the bedside, with some spirits in a broken glass. + +"Have ye no had pennyworths for your charity?" she said, in spiteful +scorn. "Ye buy the very life o' us wi' your shillings and sixpences, +your groats and your boddles--ye hae garr'd the puir wretch speak till +she swarfs, and now ye stand as if ye never saw a woman in a dwam +before? Let me till her wi' the dram--mony words mickle drought, ye +ken--Stand out o' my gate, my leddy, if sae be that ye are a leddy; +there is little use of the like of you when there is death in the pot." + +Lady Penelope, half affronted, but still more frightened by the manners +of the old hag, now gladly embraced Lord Etherington's renewed offer to +escort her from the hut. He left it not, however, without bestowing an +additional gratuity on the old woman, who received it with a whining +benediction. + +"The Almighty guide your course through the troubles of this wicked +warld--and the muckle deevil blaw wind in your sails," she added, in her +natural tone, as the guests vanished from her miserable threshold. "A +wheen cork-headed, barmy-brained gowks! that wunna let puir folk sae +muckle as die in quiet, wi' their sossings and their soopings."[II-10] + +"This poor creature's declaration," said Lord Etherington to Lady +Penelope, "seems to refer to matters which the law has nothing to do +with, and which, perhaps, as they seem to implicate the peace of a +family of respectability, and the character of a young lady, we ought to +enquire no farther after." + +"I differ from your lordship," said Lady Penelope; "I differ +extremely--I suppose you guess whom her discourse touched upon?" + +"Indeed, your ladyship does my acuteness too much honour." + +"Did she not mention a Christian name?" said Lady Penelope; "your +lordship is strangely dull this morning!" + +"A Christian name?--No, none that I heard--yes, she said something +about--a Catherine, I think it was." + +"Catherine!" answered the lady; "No, my lord, it was Clara--rather a +rare name in this country, and belonging, I think, to a young lady of +whom your lordship should know something, unless your evening +flirtations with Lady Binks have blotted entirely out of your memory +your morning visits to Shaws-Castle. You are a bold man, my lord. I +would advise you to include Mrs. Blower among the objects of your +attention, and then you will have maid, wife, and widow upon your list." + +"Upon my honour, your ladyship is too severe," said Lord Etherington; +"you surround yourself every evening with all that is clever and +accomplished among the people here, and then you ridicule a poor +secluded monster, who dare not approach your charmed circle, because he +seeks for some amusement elsewhere. This is to tyrannize and not to +reign--it is Turkish despotism!" + +"Ah! my lord, I know you well, my lord," said Lady Penelope--"Sorry +would your lordship be, had you not power to render yourself welcome to +any circle which you may please to approach." + +"That is to say," answered the lord, "you will pardon me if I intrude on +your ladyship's coterie this evening?" + +"There is no society which Lord Etherington can think of frequenting, +where he will not be a welcome guest." + +"I will plead then at once my pardon and privilege this evening--And +now," (speaking as if he had succeeded in establishing some confidence +with her ladyship,) "what do you really think of this blind story?" + +"O, I must believe it concerns Miss Mowbray. She was always an odd +girl--something about her I could never endure--a sort of +effrontery--that is, perhaps, a harsh word, but a kind of assurance--an +air of confidence--so that though I kept on a footing with her, because +she was an orphan girl of good family, and because I really knew nothing +positively bad of her, yet she sometimes absolutely shocked me." + +"Your ladyship, perhaps, would not think it right to give publicity to +the story? at least, till you know exactly what it is," said the Earl, +in a tone of suggestion. + +"Depend upon it, that it is quite the worst, the very worst--You heard +the woman say that she had exposed Clara to ruin--and you know she must +have meant Clara Mowbray, because she was so anxious to tell the story +to her brother, St. Ronan's." + +"Very true--I did not think of that," answered Lord Etherington; "still +it would be hard on the poor girl if it should get abroad." + +"O, it will never get abroad for me," said Lady Penelope; "I would not +tell the very wind of it. But then I cannot meet Miss Mowbray as +formerly--I have a station in life to maintain, my lord--and I am under +the necessity of being select in my society--it is a duty I owe the +public, if it were even not my own inclination." + +"Certainly, my Lady Penelope," said Lord Etherington; "but then +consider, that, in a place where all eyes are necessarily observant of +your ladyship's behaviour, the least coldness on your part to Miss +Mowbray--and, after all, we have nothing like assurance of any thing +being wrong there--would ruin her with the company here, and with the +world at large." + +"Oh! my lord," answered Lady Penelope, "as for the truth of the story, I +have some private reasons of my own for 'holding the strange tale +devoutly true;' for I had a mysterious hint from a very worthy, but a +very singular man, (your lordship knows how I adore originality,) the +clergyman of the parish, who made me aware there was something wrong +about Miss Clara--something that--your lordship will excuse my speaking +more plainly,--Oh, no!--I fear--I fear it is all too true--You know Mr. +Cargill, I suppose, my lord?" + +"Yes--no--I--I think I have seen him," said Lord Etherington. "But how +came the lady to make the parson her father-confessor?--they have no +auricular confession in the Kirk--it must have been with the purpose of +marriage, I presume--let us hope that it took place--perhaps it really +was so--did he, Cargill--the minister, I mean--say any thing of such a +matter?" + +"Not a word--not a word--I see where you are, my lord; you would put a +good face on't.-- + + 'They call'd it marriage, by that specious name + To veil the crime, and sanctify the shame.' + +Queen Dido for that. How the clergyman came into the secret I cannot +tell--he is a very close man. But I know he will not hear of Miss +Mowbray being married to any one, unquestionably because he knows that, +in doing so, she would introduce disgrace into some honest family--and, +truly, I am much of his mind, my lord." + +"Perhaps Mr. Cargill may know the lady is privately married already," +said the Earl; "I think that is the more natural inference, begging your +ladyship's pardon for presuming to differ in opinion." + +Lady Penelope seemed determined not to take this view of the case. + +"No, no--no, I tell you," she replied; "she cannot be married, for if +she were married, how could the poor wretch say that she was +ruined?--You know there is a difference betwixt ruin and marriage." + +"Some people are said to have found them synonymous, Lady Penelope," +answered the Earl. + +"You are smart on me, my lord; but still, in common parlance, when we +say a woman is ruined, we mean quite the contrary of her being +married--it is impossible for me to be more explicit upon such a topic, +my lord." + +"I defer to your ladyship's better judgment," said Lord Etherington. "I +only entreat you to observe a little caution in this business--I will +make the strictest enquiries of this woman, and acquaint you with the +result; and I hope, out of regard to the respectable family of St. +Ronan's, your ladyship will be in no hurry to intimate any thing to Miss +Mowbray's prejudice." + +"I certainly am no person to spread scandal, my lord," answered the +lady, drawing herself up; "at the same time, I must say, the Mowbrays +have little claim on me for forbearance. I am sure I was the first +person to bring this Spa into fashion, which has been a matter of such +consequence to their estate; and yet Mr. Mowbray set himself against me, +my lord, in every possible sort of way, and encouraged the under-bred +people about him to behave very strangely.--There was the business of +building the Belvidere, which he would not permit to be done out of the +stock-purse of the company, because I had given the workmen the plan and +the orders--and then, about the tea-room--and the hour for beginning +dancing--and about the subscription for Mr. Rymour's new Tale of +Chivalry--in short, I owe no consideration to Mr. Mowbray of St. +Ronan's." + +"But the poor young lady?" said Lord Etherington. + +"Oh! the poor young lady?--the poor young lady can be as saucy as a rich +young lady, I promise you.--There was a business in which she used me +scandalously, Lord Etherington--it was about a very trifling matter--a +shawl. Nobody minds dress less than I do, my lord; I thank Heaven my +thoughts turn upon very different topics--but it is in trifles that +disrespect and unkindness are shown; and I have had a full share of both +from Miss Clara, besides a good deal of impertinence from her brother +upon the same subject." + +"There is but one way remains," thought the Earl, as they approached the +Spa, "and that is to work on the fears of this d--d vindictive +blue-stocking'd wild-cat.--Your ladyship," he said aloud, "is aware what +severe damages have been awarded in late cases where something +approaching to scandal has been traced to ladies of consideration--the +privileges of the tea-table have been found insufficient to protect some +fair critics against the consequences of too frank and liberal +animadversion upon the characters of their friends. So pray, remember, +that as yet we know very little on this subject." + +Lady Penelope loved money, and feared the law; and this hint, fortified +by her acquaintance with Mowbray's love of his sister, and his irritable +and revengeful disposition, brought her in a moment much nearer the +temper in which Lord Etherington wished to leave her. She protested, +that no one could be more tender than she of the fame of the +unfortunate, even supposing their guilt was fully proved--promised +caution on the subject of the pauper's declaration, and hoped Lord +Etherington would join her tea-party early in the evening, as she wished +to make him acquainted with one or two of her _proteges_, whom, she was +sure, his lordship would find deserving of his advice and countenance. +Being by this time at the door of her own apartment, her ladyship took +leave of the Earl with a most gracious smile. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[II-9] Note I. + +[II-10] Note II. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +DISAPPOINTMENT. + + On the lee-beam lies the land, boys, + See all clear to reef each course; + Let the fore-sheet go, don't mind, boys, + Though the weather should be worse. + +_The Storm._ + + +"It darkens round me like a tempest," thought Lord Etherington, as, with +slow step, folded arms, and his white hat slouched over his brows, he +traversed the short interval of space betwixt his own apartments and +those of the Lady Penelope. In a buck of the old school, one of +Congreve's men of wit and pleasure about town, this would have been a +departure from character; but the present fine man does not derogate +from his quality, even by exhibiting all the moody and gentlemanlike +solemnity of Master Stephen.[II-C] So, Lord Etherington was at liberty to +carry on his reflections, without attracting observation.--"I have put a +stopper into the mouth of that old vinegar-cruet of quality, but the +acidity of her temper will soon dissolve the charm--And what to do?" + +As he looked round him, he saw his trusty valet Solmes, who, touching +his hat with due respect, said, as he passed him, "Your lordship's +letters are in your private dispatch-box." + +Simple as these words were, and indifferent the tone in which they were +spoken, their import made Lord Etherington's heart bound as if his fate +had depended on the accents. He intimated no farther interest in the +communication, however, than to desire Solmes to be below, in case he +should ring; and with these words entered his apartment, and barred and +bolted the door, even before he looked on the table where his +dispatch-box was placed. + +Lord Etherington had, as is usual, one key to the box which held his +letters, his confidential servant being intrusted with the other; so +that, under the protection of a patent lock, his dispatches escaped all +risk of being tampered with,--a precaution not altogether unnecessary on +the part of those who frequent hotels and lodging-houses. + +"By your leave, Mr. Bramah," said the Earl, as he applied the key, +jesting, as it were, with his own agitation, as he would have done with +that of a third party. The lid was raised, and displayed the packet, the +appearance and superscription of which had attracted his observation but +a short while before in the post-office. _Then_ he would have given much +to be possessed of the opportunity which was now in his power; but many +pause on the brink of a crime, who have contemplated it at a distance +without scruple. Lord Etherington's first impulse had led him to poke +the fire; and he held in his hand the letter which he was more than half +tempted to commit, without even breaking the seal, to the fiery element. +But, though sufficiently familiarized with guilt, he was not as yet +acquainted with it in its basest shapes--he had not yet acted with +meanness, or at least with what the world terms such. He had been a +duellist, the manners of the age authorized it--a libertine, the world +excused it to his youth and condition--a bold and successful gambler, +for that quality he was admired and envied; and a thousand other +inaccuracies, to which these practices and habits lead, were easily +slurred over in a man of quality, with fortune and spirit to support his +rank. But his present meditated act was of a different kind. Tell it not +in Bond Street, whisper it not on St. James's pavement!--it amounted to +an act of petty larceny, for which the code of honour would admit of no +composition. + +Lord Etherington, under the influence of these recollections, stood for +a few minutes suspended--But the devil always finds logic to convince +his followers. He recollected the wrong done to his mother, and to +himself, her offspring, to whom his father had, in the face of the whole +world, imparted the hereditary rights, of which he was now, by a +posthumous deed, endeavouring to deprive the memory of the one and the +expectations of the other. Surely, the right being his own, he had a +full title, by the most effectual means, whatever such means might be, +to repel all attacks on that right, and even destroy, if necessary, the +documents by which his enemies were prosecuting their unjust plans +against his honour and interest. + +This reasoning prevailed, and Lord Etherington again held the devoted +packet above the flames; when it occurred to him, that, his resolution +being taken, he ought to carry it into execution as effectually as +possible; and to do so, it was necessary to know, that the packet +actually contained the papers which he was desirous to destroy. + +Never did a doubt arise in juster time; for no sooner had the seal +burst, and the envelope rustled under his fingers, than he perceived, to +his utter consternation, that he held in his hand only the copies of +the deeds for which Francis Tyrrel had written, the originals of which +he had too sanguinely concluded would be forwarded according to his +requisition. A letter from a partner of the house with which they were +deposited, stated, that they had not felt themselves at liberty, in the +absence of the head of their firm, to whom these papers had been +committed, to part with them even to Mr. Tyrrel, though they had +proceeded so far as to open the parcel, and now transmitted to him +formal copies of the papers contained in it, which, they presumed, would +serve Mr. Tyrrel's purpose for consulting counsel, or the like. They +themselves, in a case of so much delicacy, and in the absence of their +principal partner, were determined to retain the originals, unless +called to produce them in a court of justice. + +With a solemn imprecation on the formality and absurdity of the writer, +Lord Etherington let the letter of advice drop from his hand into the +fire, and throwing himself into a chair, passed his hand across his +eyes, as if their very power of sight had been blighted by what he had +read. His title, and his paternal fortune, which he thought but an +instant before might be rendered unchallengeable by a single movement of +his hand, seemed now on the verge of being lost for ever. His rapid +recollection failed not to remind him of what was less known to the +world, that his early and profuse expenditure had greatly dilapidated +his maternal fortune; and that the estate of Nettlewood, which five +minutes ago he only coveted as a wealthy man desires increase of his +store, must now be acquired, if he would avoid being a poor and +embarrassed spendthrift. To impede his possessing himself of this +property, fate had restored to the scene the penitent of the morning, +who, as he had too much reason to believe, was returned to this +neighbourhood, to do justice to Clara Mowbray, and who was not unlikely +to put the whole story of the marriage on its right footing. She, +however, might be got rid of; and it might still be possible to hurry +Miss Mowbray, by working on her fears, or through the agency of her +brother, into a union with him while he still preserved the title of +Lord Etherington. This, therefore, he resolved to secure, if effort or +if intrigue could carry the point; nor was it the least consideration, +that, should he succeed, he would obtain over Tyrrel, his successful +rival, such a triumph, as would be sufficient to embitter the +tranquillity of his whole life. + +In a few minutes, his rapid and contriving invention had formed a plan +for securing the sole advantage which seemed to remain open for him; and +conscious that he had no time to lose, he entered immediately upon the +execution. + +The bell summoned Solmes to his lordship's apartment, when the Earl, as +coolly as if he had hoped to dupe his experienced valet by such an +assertion, said, "You have brought me a packet designed for some man at +the Aultoun--let it be sent to him--Stay,--I will re-seal it first." + +He accordingly re-sealed the packet, containing all the writings, +excepting the letter of advice, (which he had burnt,) and gave it to the +valet, with the caution, "I wish you would not make such blunders in +future." + +"I beg your lordship's pardon--I will take better care again--thought it +was addressed to your lordship." + +So answered Solmes, too knowing to give the least look of intelligence, +far less to remind the Earl that his own directions had occasioned the +mistake of which he complained. + +"Solmes," continued the Earl, "you need not mention your blunder at the +post-office; it would only occasion tattle in this idle place--but be +sure that the gentleman has his letter.--And, Solmes, I see Mr. Mowbray +walk across--ask him to dine with me to-day at five. I have a headache, +and cannot face the clamour of the savages who feed at the public +table.--And let me see--make my compliments to Lady Penelope +Penfeather--I will certainly have the honour of waiting on her ladyship +this evening to tea, agreeably to her very boring invitation +received--write her a proper card, and word it your own way. Bespeak +dinner for two, and see you have some of that batch of Burgundy." The +servant was retiring, when his master added, "Stay a moment--I have a +more important business than I have yet mentioned.--Solmes, you have +managed devilish ill about the woman Irwin!" + +"I, my lord?" answered Solmes. + +"Yes, you, sir--did you not tell me she had gone to the West Indies with +a friend of yours, and did not I give them a couple of hundred pounds +for passage-money?" + +"Yes, my lord," replied the valet. + +"Ay, but now it proves _no_, my lord," said Lord Etherington; "for she +has found her way back to this country in miserable plight--half-starved, +and, no doubt, willing to do or say any thing for a livelihood--How has +this happened?" + +"Biddulph must have taken her cash, and turned her loose, my lord," +answered Solmes, as if he had been speaking of the most commonplace +transaction in the world; "but I know the woman's nature so well, and am +so much master of her history, that I can carry her off the country in +twenty-four hours, and place her where she will never think of +returning, provided your lordship can spare me so long." + +"About it directly--but I can tell you, that you will find the woman in +a very penitential humour, and very ill in health to boot." + +"I am sure of my game," answered Solmes; "with submission to your +lordship, I think if death and her good angel had hold of one of that +woman's arms, the devil and I could make a shift to lead her away by the +other." + +"Away and about it, then," said Etherington. "But, hark ye, Solmes, be +kind to her, and see all her wants relieved. I have done her mischief +enough--though nature and the devil had done half the work to my hand." + +Solmes at length was permitted to withdraw to execute his various +commissions, with an assurance that his services would not be wanted for +the next twenty-four hours. + +"Soh!" said the Earl, as his agent withdrew, "there is a spring put in +motion, which, well oiled, will move the whole machine--And here, in +lucky time, comes Harry Jekyl--I hear his whistle on the stairs.--There +is a silly lightness of heart about that fellow, which I envy, while I +despise it; but he is welcome now, for I want him." + +Jekyl entered accordingly, and broke out with "I am glad to see one of +your fellows laying a cloth for two in your parlour, Etherington--I was +afraid you were going down among these confounded bores again to-day." + +"_You_ are not to be one of the two, Hal," answered Lord Etherington. + +"No?--then I may be a third, I hope, if not second?" + +"Neither first, second, nor third, Captain.--The truth is, I want a +tete-a-tete with Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's," replied the Earl; "and, +besides, I have to beg the very particular favour of you to go again to +that fellow Martigny. It is time that he should produce his papers, if +he has any--of which, for one, I do not believe a word. He has had ample +time to hear from London; and I think I have delayed long enough in an +important matter upon his bare assertion." + +"I cannot blame your impatience," said Jekyl, "and I will go on your +errand instantly. As you waited on my advice, I am bound to find an end +to your suspense.--At the same time, if the man is not possessed of such +papers as he spoke of, I must own he is happy in a command of consummate +assurance, which might set up the whole roll of attorneys." + +"You will be soon able to judge of that," said Lord Etherington; "and +now, off with you--Why do you look at me so anxiously?" + +"I cannot tell--I have strange forebodings about this tete-a-tete with +Mowbray. You should spare him, Etherington--he is not your match--wants +both judgment and temper." + +"Tell him so, Jekyl," answered the Earl, "and his proud Scotch stomach +will be up in an instant, and he will pay you with a shot for your +pains.--Why, he thinks himself cock of the walk, this strutting bantam, +notwithstanding the lesson I gave him before--And what do you think?--He +has the impudence to talk about my attentions to Lady Binks as +inconsistent with the prosecution of my suit to his sister! Yes, +Hal--this awkward Scotch laird, that has scarce tact enough to make love +to a ewe-milker, or, at best, to some daggletailed soubrette, has the +assurance to start himself as my rival!" + +"Then, good-night to St. Ronan's!--this will be a fatal dinner to +him.--Etherington, I know by that laugh you are bent on mischief--I have +a great mind to give him a hint." + +"I wish you would," answered the Earl; "it would all turn to my +account." + +"Do you defy me?--Well, if I meet him, I will put him on his guard." + +The friends parted; and it was not long ere Jekyl encountered Mowbray on +one of the public walks. + +"You dine with Etherington to-day?" said the Captain--"Forgive me, Mr. +Mowbray, if I say one single word--Beware." + +"Of what should I beware, Captain Jekyl," answered Mowbray, "when I dine +with a friend of your own, and a man of honour?" + +"Certainly Lord Etherington is both, Mr. Mowbray; but he loves play, and +is too hard for most people." + +"I thank you for your hint, Captain Jekyl--I am a raw Scotchman, it is +true; but yet I know a thing or two. Fair play is always presumed +amongst gentlemen; and that taken for granted, I have the vanity to +think I need no one's caution on the subject, not even Captain Jekyl's, +though his experience must needs be so much superior to mine." + +"In that case, sir," said Jekyl, bowing coldly, "I have no more to say, +and I hope there is no harm done.--Conceited coxcomb!" he added, +mentally, as they parted, "how truly did Etherington judge of him, and +what an ass was I to intermeddle!--I hope Etherington will strip him of +every feather!" + +He pursued his walk in quest of Tyrrel, and Mowbray proceeded to the +apartments of the Earl, in a temper of mind well suited to the purposes +of the latter, who judged of his disposition accurately when he +permitted Jekyl to give his well-meant warning. To be supposed, by a man +of acknowledged fashion, so decidedly inferior to his antagonist--to be +considered as an object of compassion, and made the subject of a +good-boy warning, was gall and bitterness to his proud spirit, which, +the more that he felt a conscious inferiority in the arts which they all +cultivated, struggled the more to preserve the footing of at least +apparent equality. + +Since the first memorable party at piquet, Mowbray had never hazarded +his luck with Lord Etherington, except for trifling stakes; but his +conceit led him to suppose that he now fully understood his play, and, +agreeably to the practice of those who have habituated themselves to +gambling, he had every now and then felt a yearning to try for his +revenge. He wished also to be out of Lord Etherington's debt, feeling +galled under a sense of pecuniary obligation, which hindered his +speaking his mind to him fully upon the subject of his flirtation with +Lady Binks, which he justly considered as an insult to his family, +considering the footing on which the Earl seemed desirous to stand with +Clara Mowbray. From these obligations a favourable evening might free +him, and Mowbray was, in fact, indulging in a waking dream to this +purpose, when Jekyl interrupted him. His untimely warning only excited a +spirit of contradiction, and a determination to show the adviser how +little he was qualified to judge of his talents; and in this humour, +his ruin, which was the consequence of that afternoon, was far from +seeming to be the premeditated, or even the voluntary work of the Earl +of Etherington. + +On the contrary, the victim himself was the first to propose play--deep +play--double stakes; while Lord Etherington, on the other hand, often +proposed to diminish their game, or to break off entirely; but it was +always with an affectation of superiority which only stimulated Mowbray +to farther and more desperate risks; and, at last, when Mowbray became +his debtor to an overwhelming amount, (his circumstances considered,) +the Earl threw down the cards, and declared he should be too late for +Lady Penelope's tea-party, to which he was positively engaged. + +"Will you not give me my revenge?" said Mowbray, taking up the cards, +and shuffling them with fierce anxiety. + +"Not now, Mowbray; we have played too long already--you have lost too +much--more than perhaps is convenient for you to pay." + +Mowbray gnashed his teeth, in spite of his resolution to maintain an +exterior, at least, of firmness. + +"You can take your time, you know," said the Earl; "a note of hand will +suit me as well as the money." + +"No, by G--!" answered Mowbray, "I will not be so taken in a second +time--I had better have sold myself to the devil than to your +lordship--I have never been my own man since." + +"These are not very kind expressions, Mowbray," said the Earl; "you +_would_ play, and they that will play must expect sometimes to lose"---- + +"And they who win will expect to be paid," said Mowbray, breaking in. "I +know that as well as you, my lord, and you shall be paid--I will pay +you--I will pay you, by G--! Do you make any doubt that I will pay you, +my lord?" + +"You look as if you thought of paying me in sharp coin," said Lord +Etherington; "and I think that would scarce be consistent with the terms +we stand upon towards each other." + +"By my soul, my lord," said Mowbray, "I cannot tell what these terms +are; and to be at my wit's end at once, I should be glad to know. You +set out upon paying addresses to my sister, and with your visits and +opportunities at Shaws-Castle, I cannot find the matter makes the least +progress--it keeps moving without advancing, like a child's +rocking-horse. Perhaps you think that you have curbed me up so tightly, +that I dare not stir in the matter; but you will find it +otherwise.--Your lordship may keep a haram if you will, but my sister +shall not enter it." + +"You are angry, and therefore you are unjust," said Etherington; "you +know well enough it is your sister's fault that there is any delay. I am +most willing--most desirous--to call her Lady Etherington--nothing but +her unlucky prejudices against me have retarded a union which I have so +many reasons for desiring." + +"Well," replied Mowbray, "that shall be my business. I know no reason +she can pretend to decline a marriage so honourable to her house, and +which is approved of by me, that house's head. That matter shall be +arranged in twenty-four hours." + +"It will do me the most sensible pleasure," said Lord Etherington; "you +shall soon see how sincerely I desire your alliance; and as for the +trifle you have lost"---- + +"It is no trifle to me, my lord--it is my ruin--but it shall be +paid--and let me tell your lordship, you may thank your good luck for it +more than your good play." + +"We will say no more of it at present, if you please," said Lord +Etherington, "to-morrow is a new day; and if you will take my advice, +you will not be too harsh with your sister. A little firmness is seldom +amiss with young women, but severity"---- + +"I will pray your lordship to spare me your advice on this subject. +However valuable it may be in other respects, I can, I take it, speak to +my own sister in my own way." + +"Since you are so caustically-disposed, Mowbray," answered the Earl, "I +presume you will not honour her ladyship's tea-table to-night, though I +believe it will be the last of the season?" + +"And why should you think so, my lord?" answered Mowbray, whose losses +had rendered him testy and contradictory upon every subject that was +started. "Why should not I pay my respects to Lady Penelope, or any +other tabby of quality? I have no title, indeed; but I suppose that my +family"---- + +"Entitles you to become a canon of Strasburgh[II-D] doubtless--But you do +not seem in a very Christian mood for taking orders. All I meant to say +was, that you and Lady Pen were not used to be on such a good footing." + +"Well, she sent me a card for her blow-out," said Mowbray; "and so I am +resolved to go. When I have been there half an hour, I will ride up to +Shaws-Castle, and you shall hear of my speed in wooing for you to-morrow +morning." + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +A TEA-PARTY. + + Let fall the curtains, wheel the sofa round; + And while the bubbling and loud-hissing urn + Throws up a steamy column, and the cups + That cheer, but not inebriate, wait on each, + Thus let us welcome peaceful evening in. + +Cowper's _Task_. + + +The approach of the cold and rainy season had now so far thinned the +company at the Well, that, in order to secure the necessary degree of +crowd upon her tea-nights, Lady Penelope was obliged to employ some +coaxing towards those whom she had considered as much under par in +society. Even the Doctor and Mrs. Blower were graciously smiled +upon--for their marriage was now an arranged affair; and the event was +of a nature likely to spread the reputation of the Spa among wealthy +widows, and medical gentlemen of more skill than practice. So in they +came, the Doctor smirking, gallanting, and performing all the bustling +parade of settled and arranged courtship, with much of that grace +wherewith a turkey-cock goes through the same ceremony. Old Touchwood +had also attended her ladyship's summons, chiefly, it may be supposed, +from his restless fidgety disposition, which seldom suffered him to +remain absent even from those places of resort of which he usually +professed his detestation. There was, besides, Mr. Winterblossom, who, +in his usual spirit of quiet epicurism and self-indulgence, was, under +the fire of a volley of compliments to Lady Penelope, scheming to secure +for himself an early cup of tea. There was Lady Binks also, with the +wonted degree of sullenness in her beautiful face, angry at her husband +as usual, and not disposed to be pleased with Lord Etherington for being +absent, when she desired to excite Sir Bingo's jealousy. This she had +discovered to be the most effectual way of tormenting the Baronet, and +she rejoiced in it with the savage glee of a hackney coachman, who has +found a _raw_, where he can make his poor jade feel the whip. The rest +of the company were also in attendance as usual. MacTurk himself was +present, notwithstanding that he thought it an egregious waste of hot +water, to bestow it upon compounding any mixture saving punch. He had of +late associated himself a good deal with the traveller; not that they by +any means resembled each other in temper or opinions, but rather because +there was that degree of difference betwixt them which furnished +perpetual subject for dispute and discussion. They were not long, on the +present occasion, ere they lighted on a fertile source of controversy. + +"Never tell me of your points of honour," said Touchwood, raising his +voice altogether above the general tone of polite conversation--"all +humbug, Captain MacTurk--mere hair-traps to springe woodcocks--men of +sense break through them." + +"Upon my word, sir," said the Captain, "and myself is surprised to hear +you--for, look you, sir, every man's honour is the breath of his +nostrils--Cot tamn!" + +"Then, let men breathe through their mouths, and be d--d," returned the +controversialist. "I tell you, sir, that, besides its being forbidden, +both by law and gospel, it's an idiotical and totally absurd practice, +that of duelling. An honest savage has more sense than to practise +it--he takes his bow or his gun, as the thing may be, and shoots his +enemy from behind a bush. And a very good way; for you see there can, in +that case, be only one man's death between them." + +"Saul of my body, sir," said the Captain, "gin ye promulgate sic +doctrines amang the good company, it's my belief you will bring somebody +to the gallows." + +"Thank ye, Captain, with all my heart; but I stir up no quarrels--I +leave war to them that live by it. I only say, that, except our old, +stupid ancestors in the north-west here, I know no country so silly as +to harbour this custom of duelling. It is unknown in Africa, among the +negroes--in America." + +"Don't tell me that," said the Captain; "a Yankee will fight with +muskets and buck-shot, rather than sit still with an affront. I should +know Jonathan, I think." + +"Altogether unknown among the thousand tribes of India." + +"I'll be tamned, then!" said Captain MacTurk. "Was I not in Tippoo's +prison at Bangalore? and, when the joyful day of our liberation came, +did we not solemnize it with fourteen little affairs, whereof we had +been laying the foundation in our house of captivity, as holy writ has +it, and never went farther to settle them than the glacis of the fort? +By my soul, you would have thought there was a smart skirmish, the +firing was so close; and did not I, Captain MacTurk, fight three of them +myself, without moving my foot from the place I set it on?" + +"And pray, sir, what might be the result of this Christian mode of +giving thanks for your deliverance?" demanded Mr. Touchwood. + +"A small list of casualties, after all," said the Captain; "one killed +on the spot, one died of his wounds--two wounded severely--three ditto +slightly, and little Duncan Macphail reported missing. We were out of +practice, after such long confinement. So you see how we manage matters +in India, my dear friend." + +"You are to understand," replied Touchwood, "that I spoke only of the +heathen natives, who, heathen as they are, live in the light of their +own moral reason, and among whom ye shall therefore see better examples +of practical morality than among such as yourselves; who, though calling +yourselves Christians, have no more knowledge of the true acceptation +and meaning of your religion, than if you had left your Christianity at +the Cape of Good Hope, as they say of you, and forgot to take it up when +you come back again." + +"Py Cot! and I can tell you, sir," said the Captain, elevating at once +his voice and his nostrils, and snuffing the air with a truculent and +indignant visage, "that I will not permit you or any man to throw any +such scandal on my character.--I thank Cot, I can bring good witness +that I am as good a Christian as another, for a poor sinner, as the best +of us are; and I am ready to justify my religion with my sword--Cot +tamn!--Compare my own self with a parcel of black heathen bodies and +natives, that were never in the inner side of a kirk whilst they lived, +but go about worshipping stocks and stones, and swinging themselves upon +bamboos, like peasts, as they are!" + +An indignant growling in his throat, which sounded like the +acquiescence of his inward man in the indignant proposition which his +external organs thus expressed, concluded this haughty speech, which, +however, made not the least impression on Touchwood, who cared as little +for angry tones and looks as he did for fine speeches. So that it is +likely a quarrel between the Christian preceptor and the peacemaker +might have occurred for the amusement of the company, had not the +attention of both, but particularly that of Touchwood, been diverted +from the topic of debate by the entrance of Lord Etherington and +Mowbray. + +The former was, as usual, all grace, smiles, and gentleness. Yet, +contrary to his wonted custom, which usually was, after a few general +compliments, to attach himself particularly to Lady Binks, the Earl, on +the present occasion, avoided the side of the room on which that +beautiful but sullen idol held her station, and attached himself +exclusively to Lady Penelope Penfeather, enduring, without flinching, +the strange variety of conceited _bavardage_, which that lady's natural +parts and acquired information enabled her to pour forth with +unparalleled profusion. + +An honest heathen, one of Plutarch's heroes, if I mistake not,[II-E] +dreamed once upon a night, that the figure of Proserpina, whom he had +long worshipped, visited his slumbers with an angry and vindictive +countenance, and menaced him with vengeance, in resentment of his having +neglected her altars, with the usual fickleness of a polytheist, for +those of some more fashionable divinity. Not that goddess of the +infernal regions herself could assume a more haughty or more displeased +countenance than that with which Lady Binks looked from time to time +upon Lord Etherington, as if to warn him of the consequence of this +departure from the allegiance which the young Earl had hitherto +manifested towards her, and which seemed now, she knew not why, unless +it were for the purpose of public insult, to be transferred to her +rival. Perilous as her eye-glances were, and much as they menaced, Lord +Etherington felt at this moment the importance of soothing Lady Penelope +to silence on the subject of the invalid's confession of that morning, +to be more pressing than that of appeasing the indignation of Lady +Binks. The former was a case of the most urgent necessity--the latter, +if he was at all anxious on the subject, might, he perhaps thought, be +trusted to time. Had the ladies continued on a tolerable footing +together, he might have endeavoured to conciliate both. But the +bitterness of their long-suppressed feud had greatly increased, now that +it was probable the end of the season was to separate them, in all +likelihood for ever; so that Lady Penelope had no longer any motive for +countenancing Lady Binks, or the lady of Sir Bingo for desiring Lady +Penelope's countenance. The wealth and lavish expense of the one was no +longer to render more illustrious the suit of her right honourable +friend, nor was the society of Lady Penelope likely to be soon again +useful or necessary to Lady Binks. So that neither were any longer +desirous to suppress symptoms of the mutual contempt and dislike which +they had long nourished for each other; and whoever should, in this +decisive hour, take part with one, had little henceforward to expect +from her rival. What farther and more private reasons Lady Binks might +have to resent the defection of Lord Etherington, have never come with +certainty to our knowledge; but it was said there had been high words +between them on the floating report that his lordship's visits to +Shaws-Castle were dictated by the wish to find a bride there. + +Women's wits are said to be quick in spying the surest means of avenging +a real or supposed slight. After biting her pretty lips, and revolving +in her mind the readiest means of vengeance, fate threw in her way young +Mowbray of St. Ronan's. She looked at him, and endeavoured to fix his +attention with a nod and gracious smile, such as in an ordinary mood +would have instantly drawn him to her side. On receiving in answer only +a vacant glance and a bow, she was led to observe him more attentively, +and was induced to believe, from his wavering look, varying complexion, +and unsteady step, that he had been drinking unusually deep. Still his +eye was less that of an intoxicated than of a disturbed and desperate +man, one whose faculties were engrossed by deep and turbid reflection, +which withdrew him from the passing scene. + +"Do you observe how ill Mr. Mowbray looks?" said she, in a loud +whisper; "I hope he has not heard what Lady Penelope was just now saying +of his family?" + +"Unless he hears it from you, my lady," answered Mr. Touchwood, who, +upon Mowbray's entrance, had broken off his discourse with MacTurk, "I +think there is little chance of his learning it from any other person." + +"What is the matter?" said Mowbray, sharply, addressing Chatterly and +Winterblossom; but the one shrunk nervously from the question, +protesting, he indeed had not been precisely attending to what had been +passing among the ladies, and Winterblossom bowed out of the scrape with +quiet and cautious politeness--"he really had not given particular +attention to what was passing--I was negotiating with Mrs. Jones for an +additional lump of sugar to my coffee.--Egad, it was so difficult a +piece of diplomacy," he added, sinking his voice, "that I have an idea +her ladyship calculates the West India produce by grains and +pennyweights." + +The innuendo, if designed to make Mowbray smile, was far from +succeeding. He stepped forward, with more than usual stiffness in his +air, which was never entirely free from self-consequence, and said to +Lady Binks, "May I request to know of your ladyship what particular +respecting my family had the honour to engage the attention of the +company?" + +"I was only a listener, Mr. Mowbray," returned Lady Binks, with evident +enjoyment of the rising indignation which she read in his countenance; +"not being queen of the night, I am not at all disposed to be answerable +for the turn of the conversation." + +Mowbray, in no humour to bear jesting, yet afraid to expose himself by +farther enquiry in a company so public, darted a fierce look at Lady +Penelope, then in close conversation with Lord Etherington,--advanced a +step or two towards them,--then, as if checking himself, turned on his +heel, and left the room. A few minutes afterwards, and when certain +satirical nods and winks were circulating among the assembly, a waiter +slid a piece of paper into Mrs. Jones's hand, who, on looking at the +contents, seemed about to leave the room. + +"Jones--Jones!" exclaimed Lady Penelope, in surprise and displeasure. + +"Only the key of the tea-caddie, your ladyship," answered Jones; "I will +be back in an instant." + +"Jones--Jones!" again exclaimed her mistress, "here is enough"--of tea, +she would have said; but Lord Etherington was so near her, that she was +ashamed to complete the sentence, and had only hope in Jones's quickness +of apprehension, and the prospect that she would be unable to find the +key which she went in search of. + +Jones, meanwhile, tripped off to a sort of housekeeper's apartment, of +which she was _locum tenens_ for the evening, for the more ready supply +of whatever might be wanted on Lady Penelope's night, as it was called. +Here she found Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, whom she instantly began to +assail with, "La! now, Mr. Mowbray, you are such another gentleman!--I +am sure you will make me lose my place--I'll swear you will--what can +you have to say, that you could not as well put off for an hour?" + +"I want to know, Jones," answered Mowbray, in a different tone, perhaps, +from what the damsel expected, "what your lady was just now saying about +my family." + +"Pshaw!--was that all?" answered Mrs. Jones. "What should she be +saying?--nonsense--Who minds what she says?--I am sure I never do, for +one." + +"Nay, but, my dear Jones," said Mowbray, "I insist upon knowing--I must +know, and I _will_ know." + +"La! Mr. Mowbray, why should I make mischief?--As I live, I hear some +one coming! and if you were found speaking with me here--indeed, indeed, +some one is coming!" + +"The devil may come, if he will!" said Mowbray, "but we do not part, +pretty mistress, till you tell me what I wish to know." + +"Lord, sir, you frighten me!" answered Jones; "but all the room heard it +as well as I--it was about Miss Mowbray--and that my lady would be shy +of her company hereafter--for that she was--she was"---- + +"For that my sister was _what_?" said Mowbray, fiercely, seizing her +arm. + +"Lord, sir, you terrify me!" said Jones, beginning to cry; "at any rate, +it was not I that said it--it was Lady Penelope." + +"And what was it the old, adder-tongued madwoman dared to say of Clara +Mowbray?--Speak out plainly, and directly, or, by Heaven, I'll make +you!" + +"Hold, sir--hold, for God's sake!--you will break my arm," answered the +terrified handmaiden. "I am sure I know no harm of Miss Mowbray; only, +my lady spoke as if she was no better than she ought to be.--Lord, sir, +there is some one listening at the door!"--and making a spring out of +his grasp, she hastened back to the room in which the company were +assembled. + +Mowbray stood petrified at the news he had heard, ignorant alike what +could be the motive for a calumny so atrocious, and uncertain what he +were best do to put a stop to the scandal. To his farther confusion, he +was presently convinced of the truth of Mrs. Jones's belief that they +had been watched, for, as he went to the door of the apartment, he was +met by Mr. Touchwood. + +"What has brought you here, sir?" said Mowbray, sternly. + +"Hoitie toitie," answered the traveller, "why, how came _you_ here, if +you go to that, squire?--Egad, Lady Penelope is trembling for her +souchong, so I just took a step here to save her ladyship the trouble of +looking after Mrs. Jones in person, which, I think, might have been a +worse interruption than mine, Mr. Mowbray." + +"Pshaw, sir, you talk nonsense," said Mowbray; "the tea-room is so +infernally hot, that I had sat down here a moment to draw breath, when +the young woman came in." + +"And you are going to run away, now the old gentleman is come in?" said +Touchwood--"Come, sir, I am more your friend than you may think." + +"Sir, you are intrusive--I want nothing that you can give me," said +Mowbray. + +"That is a mistake," answered the senior; "for I can supply you with +what most young men want--money and wisdom." + +"You will do well to keep both till they are wanted," said Mowbray. + +"Why, so I would, squire, only that I have taken something of a fancy +for your family; and they are supposed to have wanted cash and good +counsel for two generations, if not for three." + +"Sir," said Mowbray, angrily, "you are too old either to play the +buffoon, or to get buffoon's payment." + +"Which is like monkey's allowance, I suppose," said the traveller, "more +kicks than halfpence.--Well--at least I am not young enough to quarrel +with boys for bullying. I'll convince you, however, Mr. Mowbray, that I +know some more of your affairs than what you give me credit for." + +"It may be," answered Mowbray, "but you will oblige me more by minding +your own." + +"Very like; meantime, your losses to-night to my Lord Etherington are no +trifle, and no secret neither." + +"Mr. Touchwood, I desire to know where you had your information?" said +Mowbray. + +"A matter of very little consequence compared to its truth or falsehood, +Mr. Mowbray," answered the old gentleman. + +"But of the last importance to me, sir," said Mowbray. "In a word, had +you such information by or through means of Lord Etherington?--Answer me +this single question, and then I shall know better what to think on the +subject." + +"Upon my honour," said Touchwood, "I neither had my information from +Lord Etherington directly nor indirectly. I say thus much to give you +satisfaction, and I now expect you will hear me with patience." + +"Forgive me, sir," interrupted Mowbray, "one farther question. I +understand something was said in disparagement of my sister just as I +entered the tea-room?" + +"Hem--hem--hem!" said Touchwood, hesitating. "I am sorry your ears have +served you so well--something there _was_ said lightly, something that +can be easily explained, I dare say;--And now, Mr. Mowbray, let me speak +a few serious words with you." + +"And now, Mr. Touchwood, we have no more to say to each other--good +evening to you." + +He brushed past the old man, who in vain endeavoured to stop him, and, +hurrying to the stable, demanded his horse. It was ready saddled, and +waited his orders; but even the short time that was necessary to bring +it to the door of the stable was exasperating to Mowbray's impatience. +Not less exasperating was the constant interceding voice of Touchwood, +who, in tones alternately plaintive and snappish, kept on a string of +expostulations. + +"Mr. Mowbray, only five words with you--Mr. Mowbray, you will repent +this--Is this a night to ride in, Mr. Mowbray?--My stars, sir, if you +would but have five minutes' patience!" + +Curses, not loud but deep, muttered in the throat of the impatient +laird, were the only reply, until his horse was brought out, when, +staying no farther question, he sprung into the saddle. The poor horse +paid for the delay, which could not be laid to his charge. Mowbray +struck him hard with his spurs so soon as he was in his seat--the noble +animal reared, bolted, and sprung forward like a deer, over stock and +stone, the nearest road--and we are aware it was a rough one--to +Shaws-Castle. There is a sort of instinct by which horses perceive the +humour of their riders, and are furious and impetuous, or dull and +sluggish, as if to correspond with it; and Mowbray's gallant steed +seemed on this occasion to feel all the stings of his master's internal +ferment, although not again urged with the spur. The ostler stood +listening to the clash of the hoofs, succeeding each other in thick and +close gallop, until they died away in the distant woodland. + +"If St. Ronan's reach home this night, with his neck unbroken," muttered +the fellow, "the devil must have it in keeping." + +"Mercy on us!" said the traveller, "he rides like a Bedouin Arab! but in +the desert there are neither trees to cross the road, nor cleughs, nor +linns, nor floods, nor fords. Well, I must set to work myself, or this +gear will get worse than even I can mend.--Here you, ostler, let me have +your best pair of horses instantly to Shaws-Castle." + +"To Shaws-Castle, sir?" said the man, with some surprise. + +"Yes--do you not know such a place?" + +"In troth, sir, sae few company go there, except on the great ball day, +that we have had time to forget the road to it--but St. Ronan's was +here even now, sir." + +"Ay, what of that?--he has ridden on to get supper ready--so, turn out +without loss of time." + +"At your pleasure, sir," said the fellow, and called to the postilion +accordingly. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +DEBATE. + + _Sedet post equitem atra cura_---- + + Still though the headlong cavalier, + O'er rough and smooth, in wild career, + Seems racing with the wind; + His sad companion,--ghastly pale, + And darksome as a widow's veil, + CARE--keeps her seat behind. + +HORACE. + + +Well was it that night for Mowbray, that he had always piqued himself on +his horses, and that the animal on which he was then mounted was as +sure-footed and sagacious as he was mettled and fiery. For those who +observed next day the print of the hoofs on the broken and rugged track +through which the creature had been driven at full speed by his furious +master, might easily see, that in more than a dozen of places the horse +and rider had been within a few inches of destruction. One bough of a +gnarled and stunted oak-tree, which stretched across the road, seemed in +particular to have opposed an almost fatal barrier to the horseman's +career. In striking his head against this impediment, the force of the +blow had been broken in some measure by a high-crowned hat, yet the +violence of the shock was sufficient to shiver the branch to pieces. +Fortunately, it was already decayed; but, even in that state, it was +subject of astonishment to every one that no fatal damage had been +sustained in so formidable an encounter. Mowbray himself was unconscious +of the accident. + +Scarcely aware that he had been riding at an unusual rate, scarce +sensible that he had ridden faster perhaps than ever he followed the +hounds, Mowbray alighted at his stable door, and flung the bridle to his +groom, who held up his hands in astonishment when he beheld the +condition of the favourite horse; but, concluding that his master must +be intoxicated, he prudently forbore to make any observations. + +No sooner did the unfortunate traveller suspend that rapid motion by +which he seemed to wish to annihilate, as far as possible, time and +space, in order to reach the place he had now attained, than it seemed +to him as if he would have given the world that seas and deserts had +lain between him and the house of his fathers, as well as that only +sister with whom he was now about to have a decisive interview. + +"But the place and the hour are arrived," he said, biting his lip with +anguish; "this explanation must be decisive; and whatever evils may +attend it, suspense must be ended now, at once and for ever." + +He entered the Castle, and took the light from the old domestic, who, +hearing the clatter of his horse's feet, had opened the door to receive +him. + +"Is my sister in her parlour?" he asked, but in so hollow a voice, that +the old man only answered the question by another, "Was his honour +well?" + +"Quite well, Patrick--never better in my life," said Mowbray; and +turning his back on the old man, as if to prevent his observing whether +his countenance and his words corresponded, he pursued his way to his +sister's apartment. The sound of his step upon the passage roused Clara +from a reverie, perhaps a sad one; and she had trimmed her lamp, and +stirred her fire, so slow did he walk, before he at length entered her +apartment. + +"You are a good boy, brother," she said, "to come thus early home; and I +have some good news for your reward. The groom has fetched back +Trimmer--He was lying by the dead hare, and he had chased him as far as +Drumlyford--the shepherd had carried him to the shieling, till some one +should claim him." + +"I would he had hanged him, with all my heart!" said Mowbray. + +"How!--hang Trimmer?--your favourite Trimmer, that has beat the whole +country?--and it was only this morning you were half-crying because he +was amissing, and like to murder man and mother's son?" + +"The better I like any living thing," answered Mowbray, "the more reason +I have for wishing it dead and at rest; for neither I, nor any thing +that I love, will ever be happy more." + +"You cannot frighten me, John, with these flights," answered Clara, +trembling, although she endeavoured to look unconcerned--"You have used +me to them too often." + +"It is well for you then; you will be ruined without the shock of +surprise." + +"So much the better--We have been," said Clara, + + "'So constantly in poortith's sight, + The thoughts on't gie us little fright.' + +So say I with honest Robert Burns." + +"D--n Barns and his trash!" said Mowbray, with the impatience of a man +determined to be angry with every thing but himself, who was the real +source of the evil. + +"And why damn poor Burns?" said Clara, composedly; "it is not his fault +if you have not risen a winner, for that, I suppose, is the cause of all +this uproar." + +"Would it not make any one lose patience," said Mowbray, "to hear her +quoting the rhapsodies of a hobnail'd peasant, when a man is speaking of +the downfall of an ancient house! Your ploughman, I suppose, becoming +one degree poorer than he was born to be, would only go without his +dinner, or without his usual potation of ale. His comrades would cry +'poor fellow!' and let him eat out of their kit, and drink out of their +bicker without scruple, till his own was full again. But the poor +gentleman--the downfallen man of rank--the degraded man of birth--the +disabled and disarmed man of power!--it is he that is to be pitied, who +loses not merely drink and dinner, but honour, situation, credit, +character, and name itself!" + +"You are declaiming in this manner in order to terrify me," said Clara: +"but, friend John, I know you and your ways, and I have made up my mind +upon all contingencies that can take place. I will tell you more--I have +stood on this tottering pinnacle of rank and fashion, if our situation +can be termed such, till my head is dizzy with the instability of my +eminence; and I feel that strange desire of tossing myself down, which +the devil is said to put into folk's heads when they stand on the top of +steeples--at least, I had rather the plunge were over." + +"Be satisfied, then; if that will satisfy you--the plunge _is_ over, and +we are--what they used to call it in Scotland--gentle beggars--creatures +to whom our second, and third, and fourth, and fifth cousins may, if +they please, give a place at the side-table, and a seat in the carriage +with the lady's maid, if driving backwards will not make us sick." + +"They may give it to those who will take it," said Clara; "but I am +determined to eat bread of my own buying--I can do twenty things, and I +am sure some one or other of them will bring me all the little money I +will need. I have been trying, John, for several months, how little I +can live upon, and you would laugh if you heard how low I have brought +the account." + +"There is a difference, Clara, between fanciful experiments and real +poverty--the one is a masquerade, which we can end when we please, the +other is wretchedness for life." + +"Methinks, brother," replied Miss Mowbray, "it would be better for you +to set me an example how to carry my good resolutions into effect, than +to ridicule them." + +"Why, what would you have me do?" said he, fiercely--"turn postilion, or +rough-rider, or whipper-in?--I don't know any thing else that my +education, as I have used it, has fitted me for--and then some of my old +acquaintances would, I dare say, give me a crown to drink now and then +for old acquaintance' sake." + +"This is not the way, John, that men of sense think or speak of serious +misfortunes," answered his sister; "and I do not believe that this is so +serious as it is your pleasure to make it." + +"Believe the very worst you can think," replied he, "and you will not +believe bad enough!--You have neither a guinea, nor a house, nor a +friend;--pass but a day, and it is a chance that you will not have a +brother." + +"My dear John, you have drunk hard--rode hard." + +"Yes--such tidings deserved to be carried express, especially to a young +lady who receives them so well," answered Mowbray, bitterly. "I suppose, +now, it will make no impression, if I were to tell you that you have it +in your power to stop all this ruin?" + +"By consummating my own, I suppose?--Brother, I said you could not make +me tremble, but you have found a way to do it." + +"What, you expect I am again to urge you with Lord Etherington's +courtship?--That _might_ have saved all, indeed--But that day of grace +is over." + +"I am glad of it, with all my spirit," said Clara; "may it take with it +all that we can quarrel about!--But till this instant I thought it was +for this very point that this long voyage was bound, and that you were +endeavouring to persuade me of the reality of the danger of the storm, +in order to reconcile me to the harbour." + +"You are mad, I think, in earnest," said Mowbray; "can you really be so +absurd as to rejoice that you have no way left to relieve yourself and +me from ruin, want, and shame?" + +"From shame, brother?" said Clara. "No shame in honest poverty, I hope." + +"That is according as folks have used their prosperity, Clara.--I must +speak to the point.--There are strange reports going below--By Heaven! +they are enough to disturb the ashes of the dead! Were I to mention +them, I should expect our poor mother to enter the room--Clara Mowbray, +can you guess what I mean?" + +It was with the utmost exertion, yet in a faltering voice, that she was +able, after an ineffectual effort, to utter the monosyllable, "_No!_" + +"By Heaven! I am ashamed--I am even _afraid_ to express my own +meaning!--Clara, what is there which makes you so obstinately reject +every proposal of marriage?--Is it that you feel yourself unworthy to be +the wife of an honest man?--Speak out!--Evil Fame has been busy with +your reputation--speak out!--Give me the right to cram their lies down +the throats of the inventors, and when I go among them to-morrow, I +shall know how to treat those who cast reflections on you! The fortunes +of our house are ruined, but no tongue shall slander its +honour.--Speak--speak, wretched girl! why are you silent?" + +"Stay at home, brother!" said Clara; "stay at home, if you regard our +house's honour--murder cannot mend misery--Stay at home, and let them +talk of me as they will,--they can scarcely say worse of me than I +deserve!"[II-F] + +The passions of Mowbray, at all times ungovernably strong, were at +present inflamed by wine, by his rapid journey, and the previously +disturbed state of his mind. He set his teeth, clenched his hands, +looked on the ground, as one that forms some horrid resolution, and +muttered almost unintelligibly, "It were charity to kill her!" + +"Oh! no--no--no!" exclaimed the terrified girl, throwing herself at his +feet; "Do not kill me, brother! I have wished for death--thought of +death--prayed for death--but, oh! it is frightful to think that he is +near--Oh! not a bloody death, brother, nor by your hand!" + +She held him close by the knees as she spoke, and expressed, in her +looks and accents, the utmost terror. It was not, indeed, without +reason; for the extreme solitude of the place, the violent and inflamed +passions of her brother, and the desperate circumstances to which he had +reduced himself, seemed all to concur to render some horrid act of +violence not an improbable termination of this strange interview. + +Mowbray folded his arms, without unclenching his hands, or raising his +head, while his sister continued on the floor, clasping him round the +knees with all her strength, and begging piteously for her life and for +mercy. + +"Fool!" he said, at last, "let me go!--Who cares for thy worthless +life?--who cares if thou live or die? Live, if thou canst--and be the +hate and scorn of every one else, as much as thou art mine!" + +He grasped her by the shoulder, with one hand pushed her from him, and, +as she arose from the floor, and again pressed to throw her arms around +his neck, he repulsed her with his arm and hand, with a push--or +blow--it might be termed either one or the other,--violent enough, in +her weak state, to have again extended her on the ground, had not a +chair received her as she fell. He looked at her with ferocity, grappled +a moment in his pocket; then ran to the window, and throwing the sash +violently up, thrust himself as far as he could without falling, into +the open air. Terrified, and yet her feelings of his unkindness +predominating even above her fears, Clara continued to exclaim. + +"Oh, brother, say you did not mean this!--Oh, say you did not mean to +strike me!--Oh, whatever I have deserved, be not you the +executioner!--It is not manly--it is not natural--there are but two of +us in the world!" + +He returned no answer; and, observing that he continued to stretch +himself from the window, which was in the second story of the building, +and overlooked the court, a new cause of apprehension mingled, in some +measure, with her personal fears. Timidly, and with streaming eyes and +uplifted hands, she approached her angry brother, and, fearfully, yet +firmly, seized the skirt of his coat, as if anxious to preserve him from +the effects of that despair, which so lately seemed turned against her, +and now against himself. + +He felt the pressure of her hold, and drawing himself angrily back, +asked her sternly what she wanted. + +"Nothing," she said, quitting her hold of his coat; "but what--what did +he look after so anxiously?" + +"After the devil!" he answered, fiercely; then drawing in his head, and +taking her hand, "By my soul, Clara--it is true, if ever there was truth +in such a tale!--He stood by me just now, and urged me to murder +thee!--What else could have put my hunting-knife into my thought?--Ay, +by God, and into my very hand--at such a moment?--Yonder I could almost +fancy I see him fly, the wood, and the rock, and the water, gleaming +back the dark-red furnace-light, that is shed on them by his dragon +wings! By my soul, I can hardly suppose it fancy--I can hardly think but +that I was under the influence of an evil spirit--under an act of +fiendish possession! But gone as he is, gone let him be--and thou, too +ready implement of evil, be thou gone after him!" He drew from his +pocket his right hand, which had all this time held his hunting-knife, +and threw the implement into the court-yard as he spoke, then, with a +sad quietness, and solemnity of manner, shut the window, and led his +sister by the hand to her usual seat, which her tottering steps scarce +enabled her to reach. "Clara," he said, after a pause of mournful +silence, "we must think what is to be done, without passion or +violence--there may be something for us in the dice yet, if we do not +throw away our game. A blot is never a blot till it is hit--dishonour +concealed, is not dishonour in some respects.--Dost thou attend to me, +wretched girl?" he said, suddenly and sternly raising his voice. + +"Yes, brother--yes, indeed, brother!" she hastily replied, terrified +even by delay again to awaken his ferocious and ungovernable temper. + +"Thus it must be, then," he said. "You must marry this +Etherington--there is no help for it, Clara--You cannot complain of what +your own vice and folly have rendered inevitable." + +"But, brother!"--said the trembling girl. + +"Be silent. I know all that you would say. You love him not, you would +say. I love him not, no more than you. Nay, what is more, he loves you +not; if he did, I might scruple to give you to him, you being such as +you have owned yourself. But you shall wed him out of hate, Clara--or +for the interest of your family--or for what reason you will--But wed +him you shall and must." + +"Brother--dearest brother--one single word!" + +"Not of refusal or expostulation--that time is gone by," said her stern +censurer. "When I believed thee what I thought thee this morning, I +might advise you, but I could not compel. But, since the honour of our +family has been disgraced by your means, it is but just, that, if +possible, its disgrace should be hidden; and it shall,--ay, if selling +you for a slave would tend to conceal it!" + +"You do worse--you do worse by me! A slave in an open market may be +bought by a kind master--you do not give me that chance--you wed me to +one who"---- + +"Fear him not, nor the worst that he can do, Clara," said her brother. +"I know on what terms he marries; and being once more your brother, as +your obedience in this matter will make me, he had better tear his flesh +from his bones with his own teeth, than do thee any displeasure! By +Heaven, I hate him so much--for he has outreached me every way--that +methinks it is some consolation that he will not receive in thee the +excellent creature I thought thee!--Fallen as thou art, thou art still +too good for him." + +Encouraged by the more gentle and almost affectionate tone in which her +brother spoke, Clara could not help saying, although almost in a +whisper, "I trust it will not be so--I trust he will consider his own +condition, honour, and happiness, better than to share it with me." + +"Let him utter such a scruple if he dares," said Mowbray--"But he dares +not hesitate--he knows that the instant he recedes from addressing you, +he signs his own death-warrant or mine, or perhaps that of both; and his +views, too, are of a kind that will not be relinquished on a point of +scrupulous delicacy merely. Therefore, Clara, nourish no such thought +in your heart as that there is the least possibility of your escaping +this marriage! The match is booked--Swear you will not hesitate." + +"I will not," she said, almost breathlessly, terrified lest he was about +to start once more into the fit of unbridled fury which had before +seized on him. + +"Do not even whisper or hint an objection, but submit to your fate, for +it is inevitable." + +"I will--submit"--answered Clara, in the same trembling accent. + +"And I," he said, "will spare you--at least at present--and it may be +for ever--all enquiry into the guilt which you have confessed. Rumours +there were of misconduct, which reached my ears even in England; but who +could have believed them that looked on you daily, and witnessed your +late course of life?--On this subject I will be at present +silent--perhaps may not again touch on it--that is, if you do nothing to +thwart my pleasure, or to avoid the fate which circumstances render +unavoidable.--And now it is late--retire, Clara, to your bed--think on +what I have said as what necessity has determined, and not my selfish +pleasure." + +He held out his hand, and she placed, but not without reluctant terror, +her trembling palm in his. In this manner, and with a sort of mournful +solemnity, as if they had been in attendance upon a funeral, he handed +his sister through a gallery hung with old family pictures, at the end +of which was Clara's bedchamber. The moon, which at this moment looked +out through a huge volume of mustering clouds that had long been boding +storm, fell on the two last descendants of that ancient family, as they +glided hand in hand, more like the ghosts of the deceased than like +living persons, through the hall and amongst the portraits of their +forefathers. The same thoughts were in the breast of both, but neither +attempted to say, while they cast a flitting glance on the pallid and +decayed representations, "How little did these anticipate this +catastrophe of their house!" At the door of the bedroom Mowbray quitted +his sister's hand, and said, "Clara, you should to-night thank God, that +saved you from a great danger, and me from a deadly sin." + +"I will," she answered--"I will." And, as if her terror had been anew +excited by this allusion to what had passed, she bid her brother hastily +good-night, and was no sooner within her apartment, than he heard her +turn the key in the lock, and draw two bolts besides. + +"I understand you, Clara," muttered Mowbray between his teeth, as he +heard one bar drawn after another. "But if you could earth yourself +under Ben Nevis, you could not escape what fate has destined for +you.--Yes!" he said to himself, as he walked with slow and moody pace +through the moonlight gallery, uncertain whether to return to the +parlour, or to retire to his solitary chamber, when his attention was +roused by a noise in the court-yard. + +The night was not indeed very far advanced, but it had been so long +since Shaws-Castle received a guest, that had Mowbray not heard the +rolling of wheels in the court-yard, he might have thought rather of +housebreakers than of visitors. But, as the sound of a carriage and +horses was distinctly heard, it instantly occurred to him, that the +guest must be Lord Etherington, come, even at this late hour, to speak +with him on the reports which were current to his sister's prejudice, +and perhaps to declare his addresses to her were at an end. Eager to +know the worst, and to bring matters to a decision, he re-entered the +apartment he had just left, where the lights were still burning, and, +calling loudly to Patrick, whom he heard in communing with the +postilion, commanded him to show the visitor to Miss Mowbray's parlour. +It was not the light step of the young nobleman which came tramping, or +rather stamping, through the long passage, and up the two or three steps +at the end of it. Neither was it Lord Etherington's graceful figure +which was seen when the door opened, but the stout square substance of +Mr. Peregrine Touchwood. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +A RELATIVE. + + Claim'd kindred there, and had his claims allow'd. + +_Deserted Village._ + + +Starting at the unexpected and undesired apparition which presented +itself, in the manner described at the end of the last chapter, Mowbray +yet felt, at the same time, a kind of relief, that his meeting with Lord +Etherington, painfully decisive as that meeting must be, was for a time +suspended. So it was with a mixture of peevishness and internal +satisfaction, that he demanded what had procured him the honour of a +visit from Mr. Touchwood at this late hour. + +"Necessity, that makes the old wife trot," replied Touchwood; "no choice +of mine, I assure you--Gad, Mr. Mowbray, I would rather have crossed +Saint Gothard, than run the risk I have done to-night, rumbling through +your breakneck roads in that d----d old wheelbarrow.--On my word, I +believe I must be troublesome to your butler for a draught of +something--I am as thirsty as a coal-heaver that is working by the +piece. You have porter, I suppose, or good old Scotch two-penny?" + +With a secret execration on his visitor's effrontery, Mr. Mowbray +ordered the servant to put down wine and water, of which Touchwood +mixed a gobletful, and drank it off. + +"We are a small family," said his entertainer; "and I am seldom at +home--still more seldom receive guests, when I chance to be here--I am +sorry I have no malt liquor, if you prefer it." + +"Prefer it?" said Touchwood, compounding, however, another glass of +sherry and water, and adding a large piece of sugar, to correct the +hoarseness which, he observed, his night journey might bring on,--"to be +sure I prefer it, and so does every body, except Frenchmen and +dandies.--No offence, Mr. Mowbray, but you should order a hogshead from +Meux--the brown-stout, wired down for exportation to the colonies, keeps +for any length of time, and in every climate--I have drank it where it +must have cost a guinea a quart, if interest had been counted." + +"When I _expect_ the honour of a visit from you, Mr. Touchwood, I will +endeavour to be better provided," answered Mowbray; "at present your +arrival has been without notice, and I would be glad to know if it has +any particular object." + +"This is what I call coming to the point," said Mr. Touchwood, thrusting +out his stout legs, accoutred as they were with the ancient defences, +called boot-hose, so as to rest his heels upon the fender. "Upon my +life, the fire turns the best flower in the garden at this season of the +year--I'll take the freedom to throw on a log.--Is it not a strange +thing, by the by, that one never sees a fagot in Scotland? You have much +small wood, Mr. Mowbray, I wonder you do not get some fellow from the +midland counties, to teach your people how to make a fagot." + +"Did you come all the way to Shaws-Castle," asked Mowbray, rather +testily, "to instruct me in the mystery of fagot-making?" + +"Not exactly--not exactly," answered the undaunted Touchwood; "but there +is a right and a wrong way in every thing--a word by the way, on any +useful subject, can never fall amiss.--As for my immediate and more +pressing business, I can assure you, that it is of a nature sufficiently +urgent, since it brings me to a house in which I am much surprised to +find myself." + +"The surprise is mutual, sir," said Mowbray, gravely, observing that his +guest made a pause; "it is full time you should explain it." + +"Well, then," replied Touchwood; "I must first ask you whether you have +never heard of a certain old gentleman, called Scrogie, who took it into +what he called his head, poor man, to be ashamed of the name he bore, +though owned by many honest and respectable men, and chose to join it to +your surname of Mowbray, as having a more chivalrous Norman sounding, +and, in a word, a gentlemanlike twang with it?" + +"I have heard of such a person, though only lately," said Mowbray. +"Reginald Scrogie Mowbray was his name. I have reason to consider his +alliance with my family as undoubted, though you seem to mention it with +a sneer, sir. I believe Mr. S. Mowbray regulated his family settlements +very much upon the idea that his heir was to intermarry with our house." + +"True, true, Mr. Mowbray," answered Touchwood; "and certainly it is not +your business to lay the axe to the root of the genealogical tree, that +is like to bear golden apples for you--Ha!" + +"Well, well, sir--proceed--proceed," answered Mowbray. + +"You may also have heard that this old gentleman had a son, who would +willingly have cut up the said family-tree into fagots; who thought +Scrogie sounded as well as Mowbray, and had no fancy for an imaginary +gentility, which was to be attained by the change of one's natural name, +and the disowning, as it were, of one's actual relations." + +"I think I have heard from Lord Etherington," answered Mowbray, "to +whose communications I owe most of my knowledge about these Scrogie +people, that old Mr. Scrogie Mowbray was unfortunate in a son, who +thwarted his father on every occasion,--would embrace no opportunity +which fortunate chances held out, of raising and distinguishing the +family,--had imbibed low tastes, wandering habits, and singular objects +of pursuit,--on account of which his father disinherited him." + +"It is very true, Mr. Mowbray," proceeded Touchwood, "that this person +did happen to fall under his father's displeasure, because he scorned +forms and flummery,--loved better to make money as an honest merchant, +than to throw it away as an idle gentleman,--never called a coach when +walking on foot would serve the turn,--and liked the Royal Exchange +better than St. James's Park. In short, his father disinherited him, +because he had the qualities for doubling the estate, rather than those +for squandering it." + +"All this may be quite correct, Mr. Touchwood," replied Mowbray; "but +pray, what has this Mr. Scrogie, junior, to do with you or me?" + +"Do with you or me!" said Touchwood, as if surprised at the question; +"he has a great deal to do with me at least, since I am the very man +myself." + +"The devil you are!" said Mowbray, opening wide his eyes in turn; "Why, +Mr. A--a--your name is Touchwood--P. Touchwood--Paul, I suppose, or +Peter--I read it so in the subscription book at the Well." + +"Peregrine, sir, Peregrine--my mother would have me so christened, +because Peregrine Pickle came out during her confinement; and my poor +foolish father acquiesced, because he thought it genteel, and derived +from the Willoughbies. I don't like it, and I always write P. short, and +you might have remarked an S. also before the surname--I use at present +P. S. Touchwood. I had an old acquaintance in the city, who loved his +jest--He always called me Postscript Touchwood." + +"Then, sir," said Mowbray, "if you are really Mr. Scrogie, _tout court_, +I must suppose the name of Touchwood is assumed?" + +"What the devil!" replied Mr. P. S. Touchwood, "do you suppose there is +no name in the English nation will couple up legitimately with my +paternal name of Scrogie, except your own, Mr. Mowbray?--I assure you I +got the name of Touchwood, and a pretty spell of money along with it, +from an old godfather, who admired my spirit in sticking by commerce." + +"Well, sir, every one has his taste--Many would have thought it better +to enjoy a hereditary estate, by keeping your father's name of Mowbray, +than to have gained another by assuming a stranger's name of Touchwood." + +"Who told you Mr. Touchwood was a stranger to me?" said the traveller; +"for aught I know, he had a better title to the duties of a son from +me, than the poor old man who made such a fool of himself, by trying to +turn gentleman in his old age. He was my grandfather's partner in the +great firm of Touchwood, Scrogie, and Co.--Let me tell you, there is as +good inheritance in house as in field--a man's partners are his fathers +and brothers, and a head clerk may be likened to a kind of first +cousin." + +"I meant no offence whatever, Mr. Touchwood Scrogie." + +"Scrogie Touchwood, if you please," said the senior; "the scrog branch +first, for it must become rotten ere it become touchwood--ha, ha, +ha!--you take me." + +"A singular old fellow this," said Mowbray to himself, "and speaks in +all the dignity of dollars; but I will be civil to him, till I can see +what he is driving at.--You are facetious, Mr. Touchwood," he proceeded +aloud. "I was only going to say, that although you set no value upon +your connexion with my family, yet I cannot forget that such a +circumstance exists; and therefore I bid you heartily welcome to +Shaws-Castle." + +"Thank ye, thank ye, Mr. Mowbray--I knew you would see the thing right. +To tell you the truth, I should not have cared much to come a-begging +for your acquaintance and cousinship, and so forth; but that I thought +you would be more tractable in your adversity, than was your father in +his prosperity." + +"Did you know my father, sir?" said Mowbray. + +"Ay, ay--I came once down here, and was introduced to him--saw your +sister and you when you were children--had thoughts of making my will +then, and should have clapped you both in before I set out to double +Cape Horn. But, gad, I wish my poor father had seen the reception I got! +I did not let the old gentleman, Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's that was +then, smoke my money-bags--that might have made him more tractable--not +but that we went on indifferent well for a day or two, till I got a hint +that my room was wanted, for that the Duke of Devil-knows-what was +expected, and my bed was to serve his valet-de-chambre.--'Oh, damn all +gentle cousins!' said I, and off I set on the pad round the world again, +and thought no more of the Mowbrays till a year or so ago." + +"And, pray, what recalled us to your recollection?" + +"Why," said Touchwood, "I was settled for some time at Smyrna, (for I +turn the penny go where I will--I have done a little business even since +I came here;)--but being at Smyrna as I said, I became acquainted with +Francis Tyrrel." + +"The natural brother of Lord Etherington," said Mowbray. + +"Ay, so called," answered Touchwood; "but by and by he is more likely to +prove the Earl of Etherington himself, and t'other fine fellow the +bastard." + +"The devil he is!--You surprise me, Mr. Touchwood." + +"I thought I should--I thought I should--Faith, I am sometimes surprised +myself at the turn things take in this world. But the thing is not the +less certain--the proofs are lying in the strong chest of our house at +London, deposited there by the old Earl, who repented of his roguery to +Miss Martigny long before he died, but had not courage enough to do his +legitimate son justice till the sexton had housed him." + +"Good Heaven, sir!" said Mowbray; "and did you know all this while, that +I was about to bestow the only sister of my house upon an impostor?" + +"What was my business with that, Mr. Mowbray?" replied Touchwood; "you +would have been very angry had any one suspected you of not being sharp +enough to look out for yourself and your sister both. Besides, Lord +Etherington, bad enough as he may be in other respects, was, till very +lately, no impostor, or an innocent one, for he only occupied the +situation in which his father had placed him. And, indeed, when I +understood, upon coming to England, that he was gone down here, and, as +I conjectured, to pay his addresses to your sister, to say truth, I did +not see he could do better. Here was a poor fellow that was about to +cease to be a lord and a wealthy man; was it not very reasonable that he +should make the most of his dignity while he had it? and if, by marrying +a pretty girl while in possession of his title, he could get possession +of the good estate of Nettlewood, why, I could see nothing in it but a +very pretty way of breaking his fall." + +"Very pretty for him, indeed, and very convenient too," said Mowbray; +"but pray, sir, what was to become of the honour of my family?" + +"Why, what was the honour of your family to me?" said Touchwood; "unless +it was to recommend your family to my care, that I was disinherited on +account of it. And if this Etherington, or Bulmer, had been a good +fellow, I would have seen all the Mowbrays that ever wore broad cloth at +Jericho, before I had interfered." + +"I am really much indebted to your kindness," said Mowbray angrily. + +"More than you are aware of," answered Touchwood; "for, though I thought +this Bulmer, even when declared illegitimate, might be a reasonable good +match for your sister, considering the estate which was to accompany the +union of their hands; yet, now I have discovered him to be a +scoundrel--every way a scoundrel--I would not wish any decent girl to +marry him, were they to get all Yorkshire, instead of Nettlewood. So I +have come to put you right." + +The strangeness of the news which Touchwood so bluntly communicated, +made Mowbray's head turn round like that of a man who grows dizzy at +finding himself on the verge of a precipice. Touchwood observed his +consternation, which he willingly construed into an acknowledgment of +his own brilliant genius. + +"Take a glass of wine, Mr. Mowbray," he said, complacently; "take a +glass of old sherry--nothing like it for clearing the ideas--and do not +be afraid of me, though I come thus suddenly upon you with such +surprising tidings--you will find me a plain, simple, ordinary man, that +have my faults and my blunders like other people. I acknowledge that +much travel and experience have made me sometimes play the busybody, +because I find I can do things better than other people, and I love to +see folk stare--it's a way I have got. But, after all, I am _un bon +diable_, as the Frenchman says; and here I have come four or five +hundred miles to lie quiet among you all, and put all your little +matters to rights, just when you think they are most desperate." + +"I thank you for your good intentions," said Mowbray; "but I must needs +say, that they would have been more effectual had you been less cunning +in my behalf, and frankly told me what you knew of Lord Etherington; as +it is, the matter has gone fearfully far. I have promised him my +sister--I have laid myself under personal obligations to him--and there +are other reasons why I fear I must keep my word to this man, earl or no +earl." + +"What!" exclaimed Touchwood, "would you give up your sister to a +worthless rascal, who is capable of robbing the post-office, and of +murdering his brother, because you have lost a trifle of money to him? +Are you to let him go off triumphantly, because he is a gamester as well +as a cheat?--You are a pretty fellow, Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's--you +are one of the happy sheep that go out for wool, and come home shorn. +Egad, you think yourself a millstone, and turn out a sack of grain--You +flew abroad a hawk, and have come home a pigeon--You snarled at the +Philistines, and they have drawn your eye-teeth with a vengeance!" + +"This is all very witty, Mr. Touchwood," replied Mowbray; "but wit will +not pay this man Etherington, or whatever he is, so many hundreds as I +have lost to him." + +"Why, then, wealth must do what wit cannot," said old Touchwood; "I must +advance for you, that is all. Look ye, sir, I do not go afoot for +nothing--if I have laboured, I have reaped--and, like the fellow in the +old play, 'I have enough, and can maintain my humour'--it is not a few +hundreds, or thousands either, can stand betwixt old P. S. Touchwood and +his purpose; and my present purpose is to make you, Mr. Mowbray of St. +Ronan's, a free man of the forest.--You still look grave on it, young +man?--Why, I trust you are not such an ass as to think your dignity +offended, because the plebeian Scrogie comes to the assistance of the +terribly great and old house of Mowbray?" + +"I am indeed not such a fool," answered Mowbray, with his eyes still +bent on the ground, "to reject assistance that comes to me like a rope +to a drowning man--but there is a circumstance"----he stopped short and +drank a glass of wine--"a circumstance to which it is most painful to me +to allude--but you seem my friend--and I cannot intimate to you more +strongly my belief in your professions of regard than by saying, that +the language held by Lady Penelope Penfeather on my sister's account, +renders it highly proper that she were settled in life; and I cannot but +fear, that the breaking off the affair with this man might be of great +prejudice to her at this moment. They will have Nettlewood, and they may +live separate--he has offered to make settlements to that effect, even +on the very day of marriage. Her condition as a married woman will put +her above scandal, and above necessity, from which, I am sorry to say, I +cannot hope long to preserve her." + +"For shame!--for shame!--for shame!" said Touchwood, accumulating his +words thicker than usual on each other; "would you sell your own flesh +and blood to a man like this Bulmer, whose character is now laid before +you, merely because a disappointed old maid speaks scandal of her? A +fine veneration you pay to the honoured name of Mowbray! If my poor, +old, simple father had known what the owners of these two grand +syllables could have stooped to do for merely ensuring subsistence, he +would have thought as little of the noble Mowbrays as of the humble +Scrogies. And, I dare say, the young lady is just such another--eager +to get married--no matter to whom." + +"Excuse me, Mr. Touchwood," answered Mowbray; "my sister entertains +sentiments so very different from what you ascribe to her, that she and +I parted on the most unpleasant terms, in consequence of my pressing +this man's suit upon her. God knows, that I only did so, because I saw +no other outlet from this most unpleasant dilemma. But, since you are +willing to interfere, sir, and aid me to disentangle these complicated +matters, which have, I own, been made worse by my own rashness, I am +ready to throw the matter completely into your hands, just as if you +were my father arisen from the dead. Nevertheless, I must needs express +my surprise at the extent of your intelligence in these affairs." + +"You speak very sensibly, young man," said the traveller; "and as for my +intelligence, I have for some time known the finesses of this Master +Bulmer as perfectly as if I had been at his elbow when he was playing +all his dog's tricks with this family. You would hardly suspect now," he +continued, in a confidential tone, "that what you were so desirous a +while ago should take place, has in some sense actually happened, and +that the marriage ceremony has really passed betwixt your sister and +this pretended Lord Etherington?" + +"Have a care, sir!" said Mowbray, fiercely; "do not abuse my +candour--this is no place, time, or subject, for impertinent jesting." + +"As I live by bread, I am serious," said Touchwood; "Mr. Cargill +performed the ceremony; and there are two living witnesses who heard +them say the words, 'I, Clara, take you, Francis,' or whatever the +Scottish church puts in place of that mystical formula." + +"It is impossible," said Mowbray; "Cargill dared not have done such a +thing--a clandestine proceeding, such as you speak of, would have cost +him his living. I'll bet my soul against a horse-shoe, it is all an +imposition; and you come to disturb me, sir, amid my family distress, +with legends that have no more truth in them than the Alkoran." + +"There are some true things in the Alkoran, (or rather, the Koran, for +the Al is merely the article prefixed,) but let that pass--I will raise +your wonder higher before I am done. It is very true, that your sister +was indeed joined in marriage with this same Bulmer, that calls himself +by the title of Etherington; but it is just as true, that the marriage +is not worth a maravedi, for she believed him at the time to be another +person--to be, in a word, Francis Tyrrel, who is actually what the other +pretends to be, a nobleman of fortune." + +"I cannot understand one word of all this," said Mowbray. "I must to my +sister instantly, and demand of her if there be any real foundation for +these wonderful averments." + +"Do not go," said Touchwood, detaining him, "you shall have a full +explanation from me; and to comfort you under your perplexity, I can +assure you that Cargill's consent to celebrate the nuptials, was only +obtained by an aspersion thrown on your sister's character, which +induced him to believe that speedy marriage would be the sole means of +saving her reputation; and I am convinced in my own mind it is only the +revival of this report which has furnished the foundation of Lady +Penelope's chattering." + +"If I could think so"--said Mowbray, "if I could but think this is +truth--and it seems to explain, in some degree, my sister's mysterious +conduct--if I could but think it true, I should fall down and worship +you as an angel from heaven!" + +"A proper sort of angel," said Touchwood, looking modestly down on his +short, sturdy supporters--"Did you ever hear of an angel in boot-hose? +Or, do you suppose angels are sent to wait on broken-down +horse-jockeys?" + +"Call me what you will, Mr. Touchwood," said the young man, "only make +out your story true, and my sister innocent!" + +"Very well spoken, sir," answered the senior, "very well spoken! But +then I understand, you are to be guided by my prudence and experience? +None of your G-- damme doings, sir--your duels or your drubbings. Let +_me_ manage the affair for you, and I will bring you through with a +flowing sail." + +"Sir, I must feel as a gentleman,"--said Mowbray. + +"Feel as a fool," said Touchwood, "for that is the true case. Nothing +would please this Bulmer better than to fight through his rogueries--he +knows very well, that he who can slit a pistol-ball on the edge of a +penknife, will always preserve some sort of reputation amidst his +scoundrelism--but I shall take care to stop that hole. Sit down--be a +man of sense, and listen to the whole of this strange story." + +Mowbray sat down accordingly; and Touchwood, in his own way, and with +many characteristic interjectional remarks, gave him an account of the +early loves of Clara and Tyrrel--of the reasons which induced Bulmer at +first to encourage their correspondence, in hopes that his brother +would, by a clandestine marriage, altogether ruin himself with his +father--of the change which took place in his views when he perceived +the importance annexed by the old Earl to the union of Miss Mowbray with +his apparent heir--of the desperate stratagem which he endeavoured to +play off, by substituting himself in the room of his brother--and all +the consequences, which it is unnecessary to resume here, as they are +detailed at length by the perpetrator himself, in his correspondence +with Captain Jekyl. + +When the whole communication was ended, Mowbray, almost stupified by the +wonders he had heard, remained for some time in a sort of reverie, from +which he only started to ask what evidence could be produced of a story +so strange. + +"The evidence," answered Touchwood, "of one who was a deep agent in all +these matters, from first to last--as complete a rogue, I believe, as +the devil himself, with this difference, that our mortal fiend does not, +I believe, do evil for the sake of evil, but for the sake of the profit +which attends it. How far this plea will avail him in a court of +conscience, I cannot tell; but his disposition was so far akin to +humanity, that I have always found my old acquaintance as ready to do +good as harm, providing he had the same _agio_ upon the transaction." + +"On my soul," said Mowbray, "you must mean Solmes! whom I have long +suspected to be a deep villain--and now he proves traitor to boot. How +the devil could you get into his intimacy, Mr. Touchwood?" + +"The case was particular," said Touchwood. "Mr. Solmes, too active a +member of the community to be satisfied with managing the affairs which +his master intrusted to him, adventured in a little business on his own +account; and thinking, I suppose, that the late Earl of Etherington had +forgotten fully to acknowledge his services, as valet to his son, he +supplied that defect by a small check on our house for L.100, in name, +and bearing the apparent signature, of the deceased. This small mistake +being detected, Mr. Solmes, _porteur_ of the little billet, would have +been consigned to the custody of a Bow-street officer, but that I found +means to relieve him, on condition of his making known to me the points +of private history which I have just been communicating to you. What I +had known of Tyrrel at Smyrna, had given me much interest in him, and +you may guess it was not lessened by the distresses which he had +sustained through his brother's treachery. By this fellow's means, I +have counterplotted all his master's fine schemes. For example, as soon +as I learned Bulmer was coming down here, I contrived to give Tyrrel an +anonymous hint, well knowing he would set off like the devil to thwart +him, and so I should have the whole dramatis personae together, and play +them all off against each other, after my own pleasure." + +"In that case," said Mr. Mowbray, "your expedient brought about the +rencontre between the two brothers, when both might have fallen." + +"Can't deny it--can't deny it," answered Scrogie, a little +discountenanced--"a mere accident--no one can guard every point.--Egad, +but I had like to have been baffled again, for Bulmer sent the lad +Jekyl, who is not such a black sheep neither but what there are some +white hairs about him, upon a treaty with Tyrrel, that my secret agent +was not admitted to. Gad, but I discovered the whole--you will scarce +guess how." + +"Probably not easily, indeed, sir," answered Mowbray; "for your sources +of intelligence are not the most obvious, any more than your mode of +acting the most simple or most comprehensible." + +"I would not have it so," said Touchwood; "simple men perish in their +simplicity--I carry my eye-teeth about me.--And for my source of +information--why, I played the eavesdropper, sir--listened--knew my +landlady's cupboard with the double door--got into it as she has done +many a time.--Such a fine gentleman as you would rather cut a man's +throat, I suppose, than listen at a cupboard door, though the object +were to prevent murder?" + +"I cannot say I should have thought of the expedient, certainly, sir," +said Mowbray. + +"I did, though," said Scrogie, "and learned enough of what was going on, +to give Jekyl a hint that sickened him of his commission, I believe--so +the game is all in my own hands. Bulmer has no one to trust to but +Solmes, and Solmes tells me every thing." + +Here Mowbray could not suppress a movement of impatience. + +"I wish to God, sir, that since you were so kind as to interest yourself +in affairs so intimately concerning my family, you had been pleased to +act with a little more openness towards me. Here have I been for weeks +the intimate of a damned scoundrel, whose throat I ought to have cut for +his scandalous conduct to my sister. Here have I been rendering her and +myself miserable, and getting myself cheated every night by a swindler, +whom you, if it had been your pleasure, could have unmasked by a single +word. I do all justice to your intentions, sir; but, upon my soul, I +cannot help wishing you had conducted yourself with more frankness and +less mystery; and I am truly afraid your love of dexterity has been too +much for your ingenuity, and that you have suffered matters to run into +such a skein of confusion, as you yourself will find difficulty in +unravelling." + +Touchwood smiled, and shook his head in all the conscious pride of +superior understanding. "Young man," he said, "when you have seen a +little of the world, and especially beyond the bounds of this narrow +island, you will find much more art and dexterity necessary in +conducting these businesses to an issue, than occurs to a blind John +Bull, or a raw Scotchman. You will be then no stranger to the policy of +life, which deals in mining and countermining,--now in making feints, +now in thrusting with forthright passes. I look upon you, Mr. Mowbray, +as a young man spoiled by staying at home, and keeping bad company; and +will make it my business, if you submit yourself to my guidance, to +inform your understanding, so as to retrieve your estate.--Don't--Don't +answer me, sir! because I know too well, by experience, how young men +answer on these subjects--they are conceited, sir, as conceited as if +they had been in all the four quarters of the world. I hate to be +answered, sir, I hate it. And, to tell you the truth, it is because +Tyrrel has a fancy of answering me, that I rather make you my confidant +on this occasion, than him. I would have had him throw himself into my +arms, and under my directions; but he hesitated--he hesitated, Mr. +Mowbray--and I despise hesitation. If he thinks he has wit enough to +manage his own matters, let him try it--let him try it. Not but I will +do all I can for him, in fitting time and place; but I will let him +dwell in his perplexities and uncertainties for a little while longer. +And so, Mr. Mowbray, you see what sort of an odd fellow I am, and you +can satisfy me at once whether you mean to come into my measures--only +speak out at once, sir, for I abhor hesitation." + +While Touchwood thus spoke, Mowbray was forming his resolution +internally. He was not so inexperienced as the senior supposed; at +least, he could plainly see that he had to do with an obstinate, +capricious old man, who, with the best intentions in the world, chose +to have every thing in his own way; and, like most petty politicians, +was disposed to throw intrigue and mystery over matters which had much +better be prosecuted boldly and openly. But he perceived at the same +time, that Touchwood, as a sort of relation, wealthy, childless, and +disposed to become his friend, was a person to be conciliated, the +rather that the traveller himself had frankly owned that it was Francis +Tyrrel's want of deference towards him, which had forfeited, or at least +abated, his favour. Mowbray recollected, also, that the circumstances +under which he himself stood, did not permit him to trifle with +returning gleams of good fortune. Subduing, therefore, the haughtiness +of temper proper to him as an only son and heir, he answered +respectfully, that, in his condition, the advice and assistance of Mr. +Scrogie Touchwood were too important, not to be purchased at the price +of submitting his own judgment to that of an experienced and sagacious +friend. + +"Well said, Mr. Mowbray," replied the senior, "well said. Let me once +have the management of your affairs, and we will brush them up for you +without loss of time.--I must be obliged to you for a bed for the night, +however--it is as dark as a wolf's mouth; and if you will give orders to +keep the poor devil of a postilion, and his horses too, why, I will be +the more obliged to you." + +Mowbray applied himself to the bell. Patrick answered the call, and was +much surprised, when the old gentleman, taking the word out of his +entertainer's mouth, desired a bed to be got ready, with a little fire +in the grate; "for I take it, friend," he went on, "you have not guests +here very often.--And see that my sheets be not damp, and bid the +housemaid take care not to make the bed upon an exact level, but let it +slope from the pillow to the footposts, at a declivity of about eighteen +inches.--And hark ye--get me a jug of barley-water, to place by my +bedside, with the squeeze of a lemon--or stay, you will make it as sour +as Beelzebub--bring the lemon on a saucer, and I will mix it myself." + +Patrick listened like one of sense forlorn, his head turning like a +mandarin, alternately from the speaker to his master, as if to ask the +latter whether this was all reality. The instant that Touchwood stopped, +Mowbray added his fiat. + +"Let every thing be done to make Mr. Touchwood comfortable, in the way +he wishes." + +"Aweel, sir," said Patrick, "I shall tell Mally, to be sure, and we maun +do our best, and--but it's unco late"---- + +"And, therefore," said Touchwood, "the sooner we get to bed the better, +my old friend. I, for one, must be stirring early--I have business of +life and death--it concerns you too, Mr. Mowbray--but no more of that +till to-morrow.--And let the lad put up his horses, and get him a bed +somewhere." + +Patrick here thought he had gotten upon firm ground for resistance, for +which, displeased with the dictatorial manner of the stranger, he felt +considerably inclined. + +"Ye may catch us at that, if ye can," said Patrick; "there's nae post +cattle come into our stables--What do we ken, but that they may be +glandered, as the groom says?" + +"We must take the risk to-night, Patrick," said Mowbray, reluctantly +enough--"unless Mr. Touchwood will permit the horses to come back early +next morning?" + +"Not I, indeed," said Touchwood; "safe bind safe find--it may be once +away and aye away, and we shall have enough to do to-morrow morning. +Moreover, the poor carrion are tired, and the merciful man is merciful +to his beast--and, in a word, if the horses go back to St. Ronan's Well +to-night, I go there for company." + +It often happens, owing, I suppose, to the perversity of human nature, +that subserviency in trifles is more difficult to a proud mind, than +compliance in matters of more importance. Mowbray, like other young +gentlemen of his class, was finically rigid in his stable discipline, +and even Lord Etherington's horses had not been admitted into that +_sanctum sanctorum_, into which he now saw himself obliged to induct two +wretched post-hacks. But he submitted with the best grace he could; and +Patrick, while he left their presence, with lifted-up hands and eyes to +execute the orders he had received, could scarcely help thinking that +the old man must be the devil in disguise, since he could thus suddenly +control his fiery master, even in the points which he had hitherto +seemed to consider as of most vital importance. + +"The Lord in his mercy haud a grip of this puir family! for I, that was +born in it, am like to see the end of it." Thus ejaculated Patrick. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +THE WANDERER. + + 'Tis a naughty night to swim in. + +_King Lear._ + + +There was a wild uncertainty about Mowbray's ideas, after he started +from a feverish sleep on the morning succeeding this memorable +interview, that his sister, whom he really loved as much as he was +capable of loving any thing, had dishonoured him and her name; and the +horrid recollection of their last interview was the first idea which his +waking imagination was thrilled with. Then came Touchwood's tale of +exculpation--and he persuaded himself, or strove to do so, that Clara +must have understood the charge he had brought against her as referring +to her attachment to Tyrrel, and its fatal consequences. Again, still he +doubted how that could be--still feared that there must be more behind +than her reluctance to confess the fraud which had been practised on her +by Bulmer; and then, again, he strengthened himself in the first and +more pleasing opinion, by recollecting that, averse as she was to +espouse the person he proposed to her, it must have appeared to her the +completion of ruin, if he, Mowbray, should obtain knowledge of the +clandestine marriage. + +"Yes--O yes," he said to himself, "she would think that this story would +render me more eager in the rascal's interest, as the best way of +hushing up such a discreditable affair--faith, and she would have judged +right too; for, had he actually been Lord Etherington, I do not see what +else she could have done. But, not being Lord Etherington, and an +anointed scoundrel into the bargain, I will content myself with +cudgelling him to death so soon as I can get out of the guardianship of +this old, meddling, obstinate, self-willed, busybody.--Then, what is to +be done for Clara?--This mock marriage was a mere bubble, and both +parties must draw stakes. She likes this grave Don, who proves to be the +stick of the right tree, after all--so do not I, though there be +something lordlike about him. I was sure a strolling painter could not +have carried it off so. She may marry him, I suppose, if the law is not +against it--then she has the earldom, and the Oaklands, and Nettlewood, +all at once.--Gad, we should come in winners, after all--and, I dare +say, this old boy Touchwood is as rich as a Jew--worth a hundred +thousand at least--He is too peremptory to be cut up for sixpence under +a hundred thousand.--And he talks of putting me to rights--I must not +wince--must stand still to be curried a little--Only, I wish the law may +permit Clara's being married to this other earl.--A woman cannot marry +two brothers, that is certain:--but then, if she is not married to the +one of them in good and lawful form, there can be no bar to her marrying +the other, I should think--I hope the lawyers will talk no nonsense +about it--I hope Clara will have no foolish scruples.--But, by my word, +the first thing I have to hope is, that the thing is true, for it comes +through but a suspicious channel. I'll away to Clara instantly--get the +truth out of her--and consider what is to be done." + +Thus partly thought and partly spoke the young Laird of St. Ronan's, +hastily dressing himself, in order to enquire into the strange chaos of +events which perplexed his imagination. + +When he came down to the parlour where they had supped last night, and +where breakfast was prepared this morning, he sent for a girl who acted +as his sister's immediate attendant, and asked, "if Miss Mowbray was yet +stirring?" + +The girl answered, "she had not rung her bell." + +"It is past her usual hour," said Mowbray, "but she was disturbed last +night. Go, Martha, tell her to get up instantly--say I have excellent +good news for her--or, if her head aches, I will come and tell them to +her before she rises--go like lightning." + +Martha went, and returned in a minute or two. "I cannot make my mistress +hear, sir, knock as loud as I will. I wish," she added, with that love +of evil presage which is common in the lower ranks, "that Miss Clara may +be well, for I never knew her sleep so sound." + +Mowbray jumped from the chair into which he had thrown himself, ran +through the gallery, and knocked smartly at his sister's door; there was +no answer. "Clara, dear Clara!--Answer me but one word--say but you are +well. I frightened you last night--I had been drinking wine--I was +violent--forgive me!--Come, do not be sulky--speak but a single +word--say but you are well." + +He made the pauses longer betwixt every branch of his address, knocked +sharper and louder, listened more anxiously for an answer; at length he +attempted to open the door, but found it locked, or otherwise secured. +"Does Miss Mowbray always lock her door?" he asked the girl. + +"Never knew her to do it before, sir; she leaves it open that I may call +her, and open the window-shutters." + +She had too good reason for precaution last night, thought her brother, +and then remembered having heard her bar the door. + +"Come, Clara," he continued, greatly agitated, "do not be silly; if you +will not open the door, I must force it, that's all; for how can I tell +but that you are sick, and unable to answer?--if you are only sullen, +say so.--She returns no answer," he said, turning to the domestic, who +was now joined by Touchwood. + +Mowbray's anxiety was so great, that it prevented his taking any notice +of his guest, and he proceeded to say, without regarding his presence, +"What is to be done?--she may be sick--she may be asleep--she may have +swooned; if I force the door, it may terrify her to death in the present +weak state of her nerves.--Clara, dear Clara! do but speak a single +word, and you shall remain in your own room as long as you please." + +There was no answer. Miss Mowbray's maid, hitherto too much fluttered +and alarmed to have much presence of mind, now recollected a back-stair +which communicated with her mistress's room from the garden, and +suggested she might have gone out that way. + +"Gone out," said Mowbray, in great anxiety, and looking at the heavy +fog, or rather small rain, which blotted the November morning,--"Gone +out, and in weather like this!--But we may get into her room from the +back-stair." + +So saying, and leaving his guest to follow or remain as he thought +proper, he flew rather than walked to the garden, and found the private +door which led into it, from the bottom of the back-stair above +mentioned, was wide open. Full of vague, but fearful apprehensions, he +rushed up to the door of his sister's apartment, which opened from her +dressing-room to the landing-place of the stair; it was ajar, and that +which communicated betwixt the bedroom and dressing-room was half open. +"Clara, Clara!" exclaimed Mowbray, invoking her name rather in an agony +of apprehension, than as any longer hoping for a reply. And his +apprehension was but too prophetic. + +Miss Mowbray was not in that apartment; and, from the order in which it +was found, it was plain she had neither undressed on the preceding +night, nor occupied the bed. Mowbray struck his forehead in an agony of +remorse and fear. "I have terrified her to death," he said; "she has +fled into the woods, and perished there!" + +Under the influence of this apprehension, Mowbray, after another hasty +glance around the apartment, as if to assure himself that Clara was not +there, rushed again into the dressing-room, almost overturning the +traveller, who, in civility, had not ventured to enter the inner +apartment. "You are as mad as a _Hamako_,"[II-11] said the traveller; "let +us consult together, and I am sure I can contrive"---- + +"Oh, d--n your contrivance!" said Mowbray, forgetting all proposed +respect in his natural impatience, aggravated by his alarm; "if you had +behaved straight-forward, and like a man of common sense, this would not +have happened!" + +"God forgive you, young man, if your reflections are unjust," said the +traveller, quitting the hold he had laid upon Mowbray's coat; "and God +forgive me too, if I have done wrong while endeavouring to do for the +best!--But may not Miss Mowbray have gone down to the Well? I will order +my horses, and set off instantly." + +"Do, do," said Mowbray, recklessly; "I thank you, I thank you;" and +hastily traversing the garden, as if desirous to get rid at once of his +visitor and his own thoughts, he took the shortest road to a little +postern-gate, which led into the extensive copsewood, through some part +of which Clara had caused a walk to be cut to a little summer-house +built of rough shingles, covered with creeping shrubs. + +As Mowbray hastened through the garden, he met the old man by whom it +was kept, a native of the south country, and an old dependent on the +family. "Have you seen my sister?" said Mowbray, hurrying his words on +each other with the eagerness of terror. + +"What's your wull, St. Ronan's?" answered the old man, at once dull of +hearing, and slow of apprehension. + +"Have you seen Miss Clara?" shouted Mowbray, and muttered an oath or two +at the gardener's stupidity. + +"In troth have I," replied the gardener, deliberately; "what suld ail +me to see Miss Clara, St. Ronan's?" + +"When, and where?" eagerly demanded the querist. + +"Ou, just yestreen, after tey-time--afore ye cam hame yoursell galloping +sae fast," said old Joseph. + +"I am as stupid as he, to put off my time in speaking to such an old +cabbage-stock!" said Mowbray, and hastened on to the postern-gate +already mentioned, leading from the garden into what was usually called +Miss Clara's walk. Two or three domestics, whispering to each other, and +with countenances that showed grief, fear, and suspicion, followed their +master, desirous to be employed, yet afraid to force their services on +the fiery young man. + +At the little postern he found some trace of her he sought. The pass-key +of Clara was left in the lock. It was then plain that she must have +passed that way; but at what hour, or for what purpose, Mowbray dared +not conjecture. The path, after running a quarter of a mile or more +through an open grove of oaks and sycamores, attained the verge of the +large brook, and became there steep and rocky, difficult to the infirm, +and alarming to the nervous; often approaching the brink of a +precipitous ledge of rock, which in this place overhung the stream, in +some places brawling and foaming in hasty current, and in others seeming +to slumber in deep and circular eddies. The temptations which this +dangerous scene must have offered an excited and desperate spirit, came +on Mowbray like the blight of the Simoom, and he stood a moment to +gather breath and overcome these horrible anticipations, ere he was able +to proceed. His attendants felt the same apprehension. "Puir thing--puir +thing!--O, God send she may not have been left to hersell!--God send she +may have been upholden!" were whispered by Patrick to the maidens, and +by them to each other. + +At this moment the old gardener was heard behind them, shouting, +"Master--St. Ronan's--Master--I have fund--I have fund"---- + +"Have you found my sister?" exclaimed the brother, with breathless +anxiety. + +The old man did not answer till he came up, and then, with his usual +slowness of delivery, he replied to his master's repeated enquiries, +"Na, I haena fund Miss Clara, but I hae fund something ye wad be wae to +lose--your braw hunting-knife." + +He put the implement into the hand of its owner, who, recollecting the +circumstances under which he had flung it from him last night, and the +now too probable consequences of that interview, bestowed on it a deep +imprecation, and again hurled it from him into the brook. The domestics +looked at each other, and recollecting each at the same time that the +knife was a favourite tool of their master, who was rather curious in +such articles, had little doubt that his mind was affected, in a +temporary way at least, by his anxiety on his sister's account. He saw +their confused and inquisitive looks, and assuming as much composure and +presence of mind as he could command, directed Martha, and her female +companions, to return and search the walks on the other side of +Shaws-Castle; and, finally, ordered Patrick back to ring the bell, +"which," he said, assuming a confidence that he was far from +entertaining, "might call Miss Mowbray home from some of her long +walks." He farther desired his groom and horses might meet him at the +Clattering Brig, so called from a noisy cascade which was formed by the +brook, above which was stretched a small foot-bridge of planks. Having +thus shaken off his attendants, he proceeded himself, with all the speed +he was capable of exerting, to follow out the path in which he was at +present engaged, which, being a favourite walk with his sister, she +might perhaps have adopted from mere habit, when in a state of mind, +which, he had too much reason to fear, must have put choice out of the +question. + +He soon reached the summer-house, which was merely a seat covered +overhead and on the sides, open in front, and neatly paved with pebbles. +This little bower was perched, like a hawk's nest, almost upon the edge +of a projecting crag, the highest point of the line of rock which we +have noticed; and had been selected by poor Clara, on account of the +prospect which it commanded down the valley. One of her gloves lay on +the small rustic table in the summer-house. Mowbray caught it eagerly +up. It was drenched with wet--the preceding day had been dry; so that, +had she forgot it there in the morning, or in the course of the day, it +could not have been in that state. She had certainly been there during +the night, when it rained heavily. + +Mowbray, thus assured that Clara had been in this place, while her +passions and fears were so much afloat as they must have been at her +flight from her father's house, cast a hurried and terrified glance from +the brow of the precipice into the deep stream that eddied below. It +seemed to him that, in the sullen roar of the water, he heard the last +groans of his sister--the foam-flakes caught his eye, as if they were a +part of her garments. But a closer examination showed that there was no +appearance of such a catastrophe. Descending the path on the other side +of the bower, he observed a foot-print in a place where the clay was +moist and tenacious, which, from the small size, and the shape of the +shoe, it appeared to him must be a trace of her whom he sought. He +hurried forward, therefore, with as much speed, as yet permitted him to +look out keenly for similar impressions, of which it seemed to him he +remarked several, although less perfect than the former, being much +obliterated by the quantity of rain that had since fallen,--a +circumstance seeming to prove that several hours had elapsed since the +person had passed. + +At length, through the various turnings and windings of a long and +romantic path, Mowbray found himself, without having received any +satisfactory intelligence, by the side of the brook, called St. Ronan's +Burn, at the place where it was crossed by foot-passengers, by the +Clattering Brig, and by horsemen through a ford a little lower. At this +point the fugitive might have either continued her wanderings through +her paternal woods, by a path which, after winding about a mile, +returned to Shaws-Castle, or she might have crossed the bridge, and +entered a broken horse-way, common to the public, leading to the Aultoun +of St. Ronan's. + +Mowbray, after a moment's consideration, concluded that the last was her +most probable option.--He mounted his horse, which the groom had brought +down according to order, and commanding the man to return by the +footpath, which he himself could not examine, he proceeded to ride +towards the ford. The brook was swollen during the night, and the groom +could not forbear intimating to his master, that there was considerable +danger in attempting to cross it. But Mowbray's mind and feelings were +too high-strung to permit him to listen to cautious counsel. He spurred +the snorting and reluctant horse into the torrent, though the water, +rising high on the upper side, broke both over the pommel and the croupe +of his saddle. It was by exertion of great strength and sagacity, that +the good horse kept the ford-way. Had the stream forced him down among +the rocks, which lie below the crossing-place, the consequences must +have been fatal. Mowbray, however, reached the opposite side in safety, +to the joy and admiration of the servant, who stood staring at him +during the adventure. He then rode hastily towards the Aultoun, +determined, if he could not hear tidings of his sister in that village, +that he would spread the alarm, and institute a general search after +her, since her elopement from Shaws-Castle could, in that case, no +longer be concealed. We must leave him, however, in his present state of +uncertainty, in order to acquaint our readers with the reality of those +evils, which his foreboding mind and disturbed conscience could only +anticipate. + +FOOTNOTE: + +[II-11] A fool is so termed in Turkey. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +THE CATASTROPHE. + + What sheeted ghost is wandering through the storm? + For never did a maid of middle earth + Choose such a time or spot to vent her sorrows. + +_Old Play._ + + +Grief, shame, confusion, and terror, had contributed to overwhelm the +unfortunate Clara Mowbray at the moment when she parted with her +brother, after the stormy and dangerous interview which it was our task +to record in a former chapter. For years, her life, her whole tenor of +thought, had been haunted by the terrible apprehension of a discovery, +and now the thing which she feared had come upon her. The extreme +violence of her brother, which went so far as to menace her personal +safety, had united with the previous conflict of passions, to produce a +rapture of fear, which probably left her no other free agency, than that +which she derived from the blind instinct which urges flight, as the +readiest resource in danger. + +We have no means of exactly tracing the course of this unhappy young +woman. It is probable she fled from Shaws-Castle, on hearing the arrival +of Mr. Touchwood's carriage, which she might mistake for that of Lord +Etherington; and thus, while Mowbray was looking forward to the happier +prospects which the traveller's narrative seemed to open, his sister +was contending with rain and darkness, amidst the difficulties and +dangers of the mountain path which we have described. These were so +great, that a young woman more delicately brought up, must either have +lain down exhausted, or have been compelled to turn her steps back to +the residence she had abandoned. But the solitary wanderings of Clara +had inured her to fatigue and to night-walks; and the deeper causes of +terror which urged her to flight, rendered her insensible to the perils +of her way. She had passed the bower, as was evident from her glove +remaining there, and had crossed the foot-bridge; although it was almost +wonderful, that, in so dark a night, she should have followed with such +accuracy a track, where the missing a single turn by a cubit's length, +might have precipitated her into eternity. + +It is probable, that Clara's spirits and strength began in some degree +to fail her, after she had proceeded a little way on the road to the +Aultoun; for she had stopped at the solitary cottage inhabited by the +old female pauper, who had been for a time the hostess of the penitent +and dying Hannah Irwin. Here, as the inmate of the cottage acknowledged, +she had made some knocking, and she owned she had heard her moan +bitterly, as she entreated for admission. The old hag was one of those +whose hearts adversity turns to very stone, and obstinately kept her +door shut, impelled more probably by general hatred to the human race, +than by the superstitious fears which seized her; although she +perversely argued that she was startled at the supernatural melody and +sweetness of tone, with which the benighted wanderer made her +supplication. She admitted, that when she heard the poor petitioner +turn from the door, her heart was softened, and she did intend to open +with the purpose of offering her at least a shelter; but that before she +could "hirple to the door, and get the bar taken down," the unfortunate +supplicant was not to be seen; which strengthened the old woman's +opinion, that the whole was a delusion of Satan. + +It is conjectured that the repulsed wanderer made no other attempt to +awaken pity or obtain shelter, until she came to Mr. Cargill's Manse, in +the upper room of which a light was still burning, owing to a cause +which requires some explanation. + +The reader is aware of the reasons which induced Bulmer, or the titular +Lord Etherington, to withdraw from the country the sole witness, as he +conceived, who could, or at least who might choose to bear witness to +the fraud which he had practised on the unfortunate Clara Mowbray. Of +three persons present at the marriage, besides the parties, the +clergyman was completely deceived. Solmes he conceived to be at his own +exclusive devotion; and therefore, if by his means this Hannah Irwin +could be removed from the scene, he argued plausibly, that all evidence +to the treachery which he had practised would be effectually stifled. +Hence his agent, Solmes, had received a commission, as the reader may +remember, to effect her removal without loss of time, and had reported +to his master that his efforts had been effectual. + +But Solmes, since he had fallen under the influence of Touchwood, was +constantly employed in counteracting the schemes which he seemed most +active in forwarding, while the traveller enjoyed (to him an exquisite +gratification) the amusement of countermining as fast as Bulmer could +mine, and had in prospect the pleasing anticipation of blowing up the +pioneer with his own petard. For this purpose, as soon as Touchwood +learned that his house was to be applied to for the original deeds left +in charge by the deceased Earl of Etherington, he expedited a letter, +directing that only the copies should be sent, and thus rendered +nugatory Bulmer's desperate design of possessing himself of that +evidence. For the same reason, when Solmes announced to him his master's +anxious wish to have Hannah Irwin conveyed out of the country, he +appointed him to cause the sick woman to be carefully transported to the +Manse, where Mr. Cargill was easily induced to give her temporary +refuge. + +To this good man, who might be termed an Israelite without guile, the +distress of the unhappy woman would have proved a sufficient +recommendation; nor was he likely to have enquired whether her malady +might not be infectious, or to have made any of those other previous +investigations which are sometimes clogs upon the bounty or hospitality +of more prudent philanthropists. But to interest him yet farther, Mr. +Touchwood informed him by letter that the patient (not otherwise unknown +to him) was possessed of certain most material information affecting a +family of honour and consequence, and that he himself, with Mr. Mowbray +of St. Ronan's in the quality of a magistrate, intended to be at the +Manse that evening, to take her declaration upon this important +subject. Such indeed was the traveller's purpose, which might have been +carried into effect, but for his own self-important love of manoeuvring +on the one part, and the fiery impatience of Mowbray on the other, +which, as the reader knows, sent the one at full gallop to Shaws-Castle, +and obliged the other to follow him post haste. This necessity he +intimated to the clergyman by a note, which he dispatched express as he +himself was in the act of stepping into the chaise. + +He requested that the most particular attention should be paid to the +invalid--promised to be at the Manse with Mr. Mowbray early on the +morrow--and, with the lingering and inveterate self-conceit which always +induced him to conduct every thing with his own hand, directed his +friend, Mr. Cargill, not to proceed to take the sick woman's declaration +or confession until he arrived, unless in case of extremity. + +It had been an easy matter for Solmes to transfer the invalid from the +wretched cottage to the clergyman's Manse. The first appearance of the +associate of much of her guilt had indeed terrified her; but he scrupled +not to assure her, that his penitence was equal to her own, and that he +was conveying her where their joint deposition would be formally +received, in order that they might, so far as possible, atone for the +evil of which they had been jointly guilty. He also promised her kind +usage for herself, and support for her children; and she willingly +accompanied him to the clergyman's residence, he himself resolving to +abide in concealment the issue of the mystery, without again facing his +master, whose star, as he well discerned, was about to shoot speedily +from its exalted sphere. + +The clergyman visited the unfortunate patient, as he had done frequently +during her residence in his vicinity, and desired that she might be +carefully attended. During the whole day, she seemed better; but, +whether the means of supporting her exhausted frame had been too +liberally administered, or whether the thoughts which gnawed her +conscience had returned with double severity when she was released from +the pressure of immediate want, it is certain that, about midnight, the +fever began to gain ground, and the person placed in attendance on her +came to inform the clergyman, then deeply engaged with the siege of +Ptolemais, that she doubted if the woman would live till morning, and +that she had something lay heavy at her heart, which she wished, as the +emissary expressed it, "to make, a clean breast of" before she died, or +lost possession of her senses. + +Awakened by such a crisis, Mr. Cargill at once became a man of this +world, clear in his apprehension, and cool in his resolution, as he +always was when the path of duty lay before him. Comprehending, from the +various hints of his friend Touchwood, that the matter was of the last +consequence, his own humanity, as well as inexperience, dictated his +sending for skilful assistance. His man-servant was accordingly +dispatched on horseback to the Well for Dr. Quackleben; while, upon the +suggestion of one of his maids, "that Mrs. Dods was an uncommon skeely +body about a sick-bed," the wench was dismissed to supplicate the +assistance of the gudewife of the Cleikum, which she was not, indeed, +wont to refuse whenever it could be useful. The male emissary proved, in +Scottish phrase, a "corbie messenger;"[II-G] for either he did not find the +doctor, or he found him better engaged than to attend the sick-bed of a +pauper, at a request which promised such slight remuneration as that of +a parish minister. But the female ambassador was more successful; for, +though she found our friend Luckie Dods preparing for bed at an hour +unusually late, in consequence of some anxiety on account of Mr. +Touchwood's unexpected absence, the good old dame only growled a little +about the minister's fancies in taking puir bodies into his own house; +and then, instantly donning cloak, hood, and pattens, marched down the +gate with all the speed of the good Samaritan, one maid bearing the +lantern before her, while the other remained to keep the house, and to +attend to the wants of Mr. Tyrrel, who engaged willingly to sit up to +receive Mr. Touchwood. + +But, ere Dame Dods had arrived at the Manse, the patient had summoned +Mr. Cargill to her presence, and required him to write her confession +while she had life and breath to make it. + +"For I believe," she added, raising herself in the bed, and rolling her +eyes wildly around, "that, were I to confess my guilt to one of a less +sacred character, the Evil Spirit, whose servant I have been, would +carry away his prey, both body and soul, before they had severed from +each other, however short the space that they must remain in +partnership!" + +Mr. Cargill would have spoken some ghostly consolation, but she answered +with pettish impatience, "Waste not words--waste not words!--Let me +speak that which I must tell, and sign it with my hand; and do you, as +the more immediate servant of God, and therefore bound to bear witness +to the truth, take heed you write that which I tell you, and nothing +else. I desired to have told this to St. Ronan's--I have even made some +progress in telling it to others--but I am glad I broke short off--for I +know you, Josiah Cargill, though you have long forgotten me." + +"It may be so," said Cargill. "I have indeed no recollection of you." + +"You once knew Hannah Irwin, though," said the sick woman, "who was +companion and relation to Miss Clara Mowbray, and who was present with +her on that sinful night, when she was wedded in the kirk of St. +Ronan's." + +"Do you mean to say that you are that person?" said Cargill, holding the +candle so as to throw some light on the face of the sick woman. "I +cannot believe it." + +"No?" replied the penitent; "there is indeed a difference between +wickedness in the act of carrying through its successful machinations, +and wickedness surrounded by all the horrors of a death-bed!" + +"Do not yet despair," said Cargill. "Grace is omnipotent--to doubt this +is in itself a great crime." + +"Be it so!--I cannot help it--my heart is hardened, Mr. Cargill; and +there is something here," she pressed her bosom, "which tells me, that, +with prolonged life and renewed health, even my present agonies would be +forgotten, and I should become the same I have been before. I have +rejected the offer of grace, Mr. Cargill, and not through ignorance, for +I have sinned with my eyes open. Care not for me, then, who am a mere +outcast." He again endeavoured to interrupt her, but she continued, "Or +if you really wish my welfare, let me relieve my bosom of that which +presses it, and it may be that I shall then be better able to listen to +you. You say you remember me not--but if I tell you how often you +refused to perform in secret the office which was required of you--how +much you urged that it was against your canonical rules--if I name the +argument to which you yielded--and remind you of your purpose, to +acknowledge your transgression to your brethren in the church courts, to +plead your excuse, and submit to their censure, which you said could not +be a light one--you will be then aware, that, in the voice of the +miserable pauper, you hear the words of the once artful, gay, and +specious Hannah Irwin." + +"I allow it--I allow it!" said Mr. Cargill; "I admit the tokens, and +believe you to be indeed her whose name you assume." + +"Then one painful step is over," said she; "for I would ere now have +lightened my conscience by confession, saving for the cursed pride of +spirit, which was ashamed of poverty, though it had not shrunk from +guilt.--Well--In these arguments, which were urged to you by a youth +best known to you by the name of Francis Tyrrel, though more properly +entitled to that of Valentine Bulmer, we practised on you a base and +gross deception.--Did you not hear some one sigh?--I hope there is no +one in the room--I trust I shall die when my confession is signed and +sealed, without my name being dragged through the public--I hope ye +bring not in your menials to gaze on my abject misery--I cannot brook +that." + +She paused and listened; for the ear, usually deafened by pain, is +sometimes, on the contrary, rendered morbidly acute. Mr. Cargill assured +her, there was no one present but himself. "But, O, most unhappy woman!" +he said, "what does your introduction prepare me to expect!" + +"Your expectation, be it ever so ominous, shall be fully satisfied.--I +was the guilty confidant of the false Francis Tyrrel.--Clara loved the +true one.--When the fatal ceremony passed, the bride and the clergyman +were deceived alike--and I was the wretch--the fiend--who, aiding +another yet blacker, if blacker could be--mainly helped to accomplish +this cureless misery!" + +"Wretch!" exclaimed the clergyman, "and had you not then done +enough?--Why did you expose the betrothed of one brother to become the +wife of another?" + +"I acted," said the sick woman, "only as Bulmer instructed me; but I had +to do with a master of the game. He contrived, by his agent Solmes, to +match me with a husband imposed on me by his devices as a man of +fortune!--a wretch, who maltreated me--plundered me--sold me.--Oh! if +fiends laugh, as I have heard they can, what a jubilee of scorn will +there be, when Bulmer and I enter their place of torture!--Hark!--I am +sure of it--some one draws breath, as if shuddering!" + +"You will distract yourself if you give way to these fancies. Be +calm--speak on--but, oh! at last, and for once, speak the truth!" + +"I will, for it will best gratify my hatred against him, who, having +first robbed me of my virtue, made me a sport and a plunder to the +basest of the species. For that I wandered here to unmask him. I had +heard he again stirred his suit to Clara, and I came here to tell young +Mowbray the whole.--But do you wonder that I shrunk from doing so till +this last decisive moment?--I thought of my conduct to Clara, and how +could I face her brother?--And yet I hated her not after I learned her +utter wretchedness--her deep misery, verging even upon madness--I hated +her not then. I was sorry that she was not to fall to the lot of a +better man than Bulmer;--and I pitied her after she was rescued by +Tyrrel, and you may remember it was I who prevailed on you to conceal +her marriage." + +"I remember it," answered Cargill, "and that you alleged, as a reason +for secrecy, danger from her family. I did conceal it, until reports +that she was again to be married reached my ears." + +"Well, then," said the sick woman, "Clara Mowbray ought to forgive +me--since what ill I have done her was inevitable, while the good I did +was voluntary.--I must see her, Josiah Cargill--I must see her before I +die--I shall never pray till I see her--I shall never profit by word of +godliness till I see her! If I cannot obtain the pardon of a worm like +myself, how can I hope for that of"---- + +She started at these words with a faint scream; for slowly, and with a +feeble hand, the curtains of the bed opposite to the side at which +Cargill sat, were opened, and the figure of Clara Mowbray, her clothes +and long hair drenched and dripping with rain, stood in the opening by +the bedside. The dying woman sat upright, her eyes starting from their +sockets, her lips quivering, her face pale, her emaciated hands grasping +the bed-clothes, as if to support herself, and looking as much aghast as +if her confession had called up the apparition of her betrayed friend. + +"Hannah Irwin," said Clara, with her usual sweetness of tone, "my early +friend--my unprovoked enemy!--Betake thee to Him who hath pardon for us +all, and betake thee with confidence--for I pardon you as freely as if +you had never wronged me--as freely as I desire my own +pardon.--Farewell--Farewell!" + +She retired from the room, ere the clergyman could convince himself +that it was more than a phantom which he beheld. He ran down stairs--he +summoned assistants, but no one could attend his call; for the deep +ruckling groans of the patient satisfied every one that she was +breathing her last; and Mrs. Dods, with the maid-servant, ran into the +bedroom, to witness the death of Hannah Irwin, which shortly after took +place. + +That event had scarcely occurred, when the maid-servant who had been +left in the inn, came down in great terror to acquaint her mistress, +that a lady had entered the house like a ghost, and was dying in Mr. +Tyrrel's room. The truth of the story we must tell our own way. + +In the irregular state of Miss Mowbray's mind, a less violent impulse +than that which she had received from her brother's arbitrary violence, +added to the fatigues, dangers, and terrors of her night-walk, might +have exhausted the powers of her body, and alienated those of her mind. +We have before said, that the lights in the clergyman's house had +probably attracted her attention, and in the temporary confusion of a +family, never remarkable for its regularity, she easily mounted the +stairs, and entered the sick chamber undiscovered, and thus overheard +Hannah Irwin's confession, a tale sufficient to have greatly aggravated +her mental malady. + +[Illustration] + +We have no means of knowing whether she actually sought Tyrrel, or +whether it was, as in the former case, the circumstance of a light still +burning where all around was dark, that attracted her; but her next +apparition was close by the side of her unfortunate lover, then deeply +engaged in writing, when something suddenly gleamed on a large, +old-fashioned mirror, which hung on the wall opposite. He looked up, and +saw the figure of Clara, holding a light (which she had taken from the +passage) in her extended hand. He stood for an instant with his eyes +fixed on this fearful shadow, ere he dared turn round on the substance +which was thus reflected. When he did so, the fixed and pallid +countenance almost impressed him with the belief that he saw a vision, +and he shuddered when, stooping beside him, she took his hand. "Come +away!" she said, in a hurried voice--"Come away, my brother follows to +kill us both. Come, Tyrrel, let us fly--we shall easily escape +him.--Hannah Irwin is on before--but, if we are overtaken, I will have +no more fighting--you must promise me that we shall not--we have had +but too much of that--but you will be wise in future." + +"Clara Mowbray!" exclaimed Tyrrel. "Alas! is it thus?--Stay--do not go," +for she turned to make her escape--"stay--stay--sit down." + +"I must go," she replied, "I must go--I am called--Hannah Irwin is gone +before to tell all, and I must follow. Will you not let me go?--Nay, if +you will hold me by force, I know I must sit down--but you will not be +able to keep me for all that." + +A convulsion fit followed, and seemed, by its violence, to explain that +she was indeed bound for the last and darksome journey. The maid, who at +length answered Tyrrel's earnest and repeated summons, fled terrified at +the scene she witnessed, and carried to the Manse the alarm which we +before mentioned. + +The old landlady was compelled to exchange one scene of sorrow for +another, wondering within herself what fatality could have marked this +single night with so much misery. When she arrived at home, what was her +astonishment to find there the daughter of the house, which, even in +their alienation, she had never ceased to love, in a state little short +of distraction, and tended by Tyrrel, whose state of mind seemed scarce +more composed than that of the unhappy patient. The oddities of Mrs. +Dods were merely the rust which had accumulated upon her character, but +without impairing its native strength and energy; and her sympathies +were not of a kind acute enough to disable her from thinking and acting +as decisively as circumstances required. + +"Mr. Tyrrel," she said, "this is nae sight for men folk--ye maun rise +and gang to another room." + +"I will not stir from her," said Tyrrel--"I will not remove from her +either now, or as long as she or I may live." + +"That will be nae lang space, Maister Tyrrel, if ye winna be ruled by +common sense." + +Tyrrel started up, as if half comprehending what she said, but remained +motionless. + +"Come, come," said the compassionate landlady; "do not stand looking on +a sight sair enough to break a harder heart than yours, hinny--your ain +sense tells ye, ye canna stay here--Miss Clara shall be weel cared for, +and I'll bring word to your room-door frae half-hour to half-hour how +she is." + +The necessity of the case was undeniable, and Tyrrel suffered himself to +be led to another apartment, leaving Miss Mowbray to the care of the +hostess and her female assistants. He counted the hours in an agony, +less by the watch than by the visits which Mrs. Dods, faithful to her +promise, made from interval to interval, to tell him that Clara was not +better--that she was worse--and, at last, that she did not think she +could live over morning. It required all the deprecatory influence of +the good landlady to restrain Tyrrel, who, calm and cold on common +occasions, was proportionally fierce and impetuous when his passions +were afloat, from bursting into the room, and ascertaining, with his own +eyes, the state of the beloved patient. At length there was a long +interval--an interval of hours--so long, indeed, that Tyrrel caught from +it the flattering hope that Clara slept, and that sleep might bring +refreshment both to mind and body. Mrs. Dods, he concluded, was +prevented from moving, for fear of disturbing her patient's slumber; +and, as if actuated by the same feeling which he imputed to her, he +ceased to traverse his apartment, as his agitation had hitherto +dictated, and throwing himself into a chair, forbore to move even a +finger, and withheld his respiration as much as possible, just as if he +had been seated by the pillow of the patient. Morning was far advanced, +when his landlady appeared in his room with a grave and anxious +countenance. + +"Mr. Tyrrel," she said, "ye are a Christian man." + +"Hush, hush, for Heaven's sake!" he replied; "you will disturb Miss +Mowbray." + +"Naething will disturb her, puir thing," answered Mrs. Dods; "they have +muckle to answer for that brought her to this!" + +"They have--they have indeed," said Tyrrel, striking his forehead; "and +I will see her avenged on every one of them!--Can I see her?" + +"Better not--better not," said the good woman; but he burst from her, +and rushed into the apartment. + +"Is life gone?--Is every spark extinct?" he exclaimed eagerly to a +country surgeon, a sensible man, who had been summoned from Marchthorn +in the course of the night. The medical man shook his head--Tyrrel +rushed to the bedside, and was convinced by his own eyes that the being +whose sorrows he had both caused and shared, was now insensible to all +earthly calamity. He raised almost a shriek of despair, as he threw +himself on the pale hand of the corpse, wet it with tears, devoured it +with kisses, and played for a short time the part of a distracted +person. At length, on the repeated expostulation of all present, he +suffered himself to be again conducted to another apartment, the surgeon +following, anxious to give such sad consolation as the case admitted of. + +"As you are so deeply concerned for the untimely fate of this young +lady," he said, "it may be some satisfaction to you, though a melancholy +one, to know, that it has been occasioned by a pressure on the brain, +probably accompanied by a suffusion; and I feel authorized in stating, +from the symptoms, that if life had been spared, reason would, in all +probability, never have returned. In such a case, sir, the most +affectionate relation must own, that death, in comparison to life, is a +mercy." + +"Mercy?" answered Tyrrel; "but why, then, is it denied to me?--I know--I +know!--My life is spared till I revenge her." + +He started from his seat, and hurried eagerly down stairs. But, as he +was about to rush from the door of the inn, he was stopped by Touchwood, +who had just alighted from a carriage, with an air of stern anxiety +imprinted on his features, very different from their usual expression. +"Whither would ye? Whither would ye?" he said, laying hold of Tyrrel, +and stopping him by force. + +"For revenge--for revenge!" said Tyrrel. "Give way, I charge you, on +your peril!" + +"Vengeance belongs to God," replied the old man, "and his bolt has +fallen.--This way--this way," he continued, dragging Tyrrel into the +house. "Know," he said, so soon as he had led or forced him into a +chamber, "that Mowbray of St. Ronan's has met Bulmer within this half +hour, and has killed him on the spot." + +"Killed?--whom?" answered the bewildered Tyrrel. + +"Valentine Bulmer, the titular Earl of Etherington." + +"You bring tidings of death to the house of death," answered Tyrrel; +"and there is nothing in this world left that I should live for!" + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +CONCLUSION. + + Here come we to our close--for that which follows + Is but the tale of dull, unvaried misery. + Steep crags and headlong linns may court the pencil, + Like sudden haps, dark plots, and strange adventures; + But who would paint the dull and fog-wrapt moor, + In its long track of sterile desolation? + +_Old Play._ + + +When Mowbray crossed the brook, as we have already detailed, his mind +was in that wayward and uncertain state, which seeks something whereon +to vent the self-engendered rage with which it labours, like a volcano +before eruption. On a sudden, a shot or two, followed by loud voices and +laughter reminded him he had promised, at that hour, and in that +sequestered place, to decide a bet respecting pistol-shooting, to which +the titular Lord Etherington, Jekyl, and Captain MacTurk, to whom such a +pastime was peculiarly congenial, were parties as well as himself. The +prospect this recollection afforded him, of vengeance on the man whom he +regarded as the author of his sister's wrongs, was, in the present state +of his mind, too tempting to be relinquished; and, setting spurs to his +horse, he rushed through the copse to the little glade, where he found +the other parties, who, despairing of his arrival, had already begun +their amusement. A jubilee shout was set up as he approached. + +"Here comes Mowbray, dripping, by Cot, like a watering-pan," said +Captain MacTurk. + +"I fear him not," said Etherington, (we may as well still call him so,) +"he has ridden too fast to have steady nerves." + +"We shall soon see that, my Lord Etherington, or rather Mr. Valentine +Bulmer," said Mowbray, springing from his horse, and throwing the bridle +over the bough of a tree. + +"What does this mean, Mr. Mowbray?" said Etherington, drawing himself +up, while Jekyl and Captain MacTurk looked at each other in surprise. + +"It means, sir, that you are a rascal and impostor," replied Mowbray, +"who have assumed a name to which you have no right." + +"That, Mr. Mowbray, is an insult I cannot carry farther than this +spot," said Etherington. + +"If you had been willing to do so, you should have carried with it +something still harder to be borne," answered Mowbray. + +"Enough, enough, my good sir; no use in spurring a willing +horse.--Jekyl, you will have the kindness to stand by me in this +matter?" + +"Certainly, my lord," said Jekyl. + +"And, as there seems to be no chance of taking up the matter amicably," +said the pacific Captain MacTurk, "I will be most happy, so help me, to +assist my worthy friend, Mr. Mowbray of St. Ronan's, with my countenance +and advice.--Very goot chance that we were here with the necessary +weapons, since it would have been an unpleasant thing to have such an +affair long upon the stomach, any more than to settle it without +witnesses." + +"I would fain know first," said Jekyl, "what all this sudden heat has +arisen about." + +"About nothing," said Etherington, "except a mare's nest of Mr. +Mowbray's discovering. He always knew his sister played the madwoman, +and he has now heard a report, I suppose, that she has likewise in her +time played the ---- fool." + +"O, crimini!" cried Captain MacTurk, "my good Captain, let us pe loading +and measuring out--for, by my soul, if these sweetmeats be passing +between them, it is only the twa ends of a hankercher than can serve the +turn--Cot tamn!" + +With such friendly intentions, the ground was hastily meted out. Each +was well known as an excellent shot; and the Captain offered a bet to +Jekyl of a mutchkin of Glenlivat, that both would fall by the first +fire. The event showed that he was nearly right; for the ball of Lord +Etherington grazed Mowbray's temple, at the very second of time when +Mowbray's pierced his heart. He sprung a yard from the ground, and fell +down a dead man. Mowbray stood fixed like a pillar of stone, his arm +dropped to his side, his hand still clenched on the weapon of death, +reeking at the touch-hole and muzzle. Jekyl ran to raise and support his +friend, and Captain MacTurk, having adjusted his spectacles, stooped on +one knee to look him in the face. "We should have had Dr. Quackleben +here," he said, wiping his glasses, and returning them to the shagreen +case, "though it would have been only for form's sake--for he is as dead +as a toor-nail, poor boy.--But come, Mowbray, my bairn," he said, taking +him by the arm, "we must be ganging our ain gait, you and me, before +waur comes of it.--I have a bit powney here, and you have your horse +till we get to Marchthorn.--Captain Jekyl, I wish you a good morning. +Will you have my umbrella back to the inn, for I surmeese it is going +to rain?" + +Mowbray had not ridden a hundred yards with his guide and companion, +when he drew his bridle, and refused to proceed a step farther, till he +had learned what was become of Clara. The Captain began to find he had a +very untractable pupil to manage, when, while they were arguing +together, Touchwood drove past in his hack chaise. As soon as he +recognised Mowbray, he stopped the carriage to inform him that his +sister was at the Aultoun, which he had learned from finding there had +been a messenger sent from thence to the Well for medical assistance, +which could not be afforded, the Esculapius of the place, Dr. +Quackleben, having been privately married to Mrs. Blower on that +morning, by Mr. Chatterly, and having set out on the usual nuptial tour. + +In return for this intelligence, Captain MacTurk communicated the fate +of Lord Etherington. The old man earnestly pressed instant flight, for +which he supplied at the same time ample means, engaging to furnish +every kind of assistance and support to the unfortunate young lady; and +representing to Mowbray, that if he staid in the vicinity, a prison +would soon separate them. Mowbray and his companion then departed +southward upon the spur, reached London in safety, and from thence went +together to the Peninsula, where the war was then at the hottest. + +There remains little more to be told. Mr. Touchwood is still alive, +forming plans which have no object, and accumulating a fortune, for +which he has apparently no heir. The old man had endeavoured to fix this +character, as well as his general patronage, upon Tyrrel, but the +attempt only determined the latter to leave the country; nor has he been +since heard of, although the title and estates of Etherington lie vacant +for his acceptance. It is the opinion of many, that he has entered into +a Moravian mission, for the use of which he had previously drawn +considerable sums. + +Since Tyrrel's departure, no one pretends to guess what old Touchwood +will do with his money. He often talks of his disappointments, but can +never be made to understand, or at least to admit, that they were in +some measure precipitated by his own talent for intrigue and +manoeuvring. Most people think that Mowbray of St. Ronan's will be at +last his heir. That gentleman has of late shown one quality which +usually recommends men to the favour of rich relations, namely, a close +and cautious care of what is already his own. Captain MacTurk's military +ardour having revived when they came within smell of gunpowder, the old +soldier contrived not only to get himself on full pay, but to induce his +companion to serve for some time as a volunteer. He afterwards obtained +a commission, and nothing could be more strikingly different than was +the conduct of the young Laird of St. Ronan's and of Lieutenant Mowbray. +The former, as we know, was gay, venturous, and prodigal; the latter +lived on his pay, and even within it--denied himself comforts, and often +decencies, when doing so could save a guinea; and turned pale with +apprehension, if, on any extraordinary occasion, he ventured sixpence a +corner at whist. This meanness, or closeness of disposition, prevents +his holding the high character to which his bravery and attention to his +regimental duties might otherwise entitle him. The same close and +accurate calculation of pounds, shillings, and pence, marked his +communications with his agent Meiklewham, who might otherwise have had +better pickings out of the estate of St. Ronan's, which is now at nurse, +and thriving full fast; especially since some debts, of rather an +usurious character, have been paid up by Mr. Touchwood, who contented +himself with more moderate usage. + +On the subject of this property, Mr. Mowbray, generally speaking, gave +such minute directions for acquiring and saving, that his old +acquaintance, Mr. Winterblossom, tapping his morocco snuff-box with the +sly look which intimated the coming of a good thing, was wont to say, +that he had reversed the usual order of transformation, and was turned +into a grub after having been a butterfly. After all, this narrowness, +though a more ordinary modification of the spirit of avarice, may be +founded on the same desire of acquisition, which in his earlier days +sent him to the gaming-table. + +But there was one remarkable instance in which Mr. Mowbray departed from +the rules of economy, by which he was guided in all others. Having +acquired, for a large sum of money, the ground which he had formerly +feued out for the erection of the hotel, lodging-houses, shops, &c., at +St. Ronan's Well, he sent positive orders for the demolition of the +whole, nor would he permit the existence of any house of entertainment +on his estate, except that in the Aultoun, where Mrs. Dods reigns with +undisputed sway, her temper by no means improved either by time, or her +arbitrary disposition by the total absence of competition. + +Why Mr. Mowbray, with his acquired habits of frugality, thus destroyed +a property which might have produced a considerable income, no one could +pretend to affirm. Some said that he remembered his own early follies; +and others, that he connected the buildings with the misfortunes of his +sister. The vulgar reported, that Lord Etherington's ghost had been seen +in the ball-room, and the learned talked of the association of ideas. +But it all ended in this, that Mr. Mowbray was independent enough to +please himself, and that such was Mr. Mowbray's pleasure. + +The little watering-place has returned to its primitive obscurity; and +lions and lionesses, with their several jackals, blue surtouts, and +bluer stockings, fiddlers and dancers, painters and amateurs, authors +and critics, dispersed like pigeons by the demolition of a dovecot, have +sought other scenes of amusement and rehearsal, and have deserted ST. +RONAN'S WELL.[II-12] + +FOOTNOTE: + +[II-12] Note III.--Meg Dods. + + + + +AUTHOR'S NOTES. + + +Note I., p. 202. + +There were several instances of this dexterity, but especially those +which occurred in the celebrated case of Murdison and Millar, in 1773. +These persons, a sheep-farmer and his shepherd, settled in the vale of +Tweed, commenced and carried on for some time an extensive system of +devastation on the flocks of their neighbours. A dog belonging to Millar +was so well trained, that he had only to show him during the day the +parcel of sheep which he desired to have; and when dismissed at night +for the purpose, Yarrow went right to the pasture where the flock had +fed, and carried off the quantity shown him. He then drove them before +him by the most secret paths to Murdison's farm, where the dishonest +master and servant were in readiness to receive the booty. Two things +were remarkable. In the first place, that if the dog, when thus +dishonestly employed, actually met his master, he observed great caution +in recognising him, as if he had been afraid of bringing him under +suspicion; secondly, that he showed a distinct sense that the illegal +transactions in which he was engaged were not of a nature to endure +daylight. The sheep which he was directed to drive, were often reluctant +to leave their own pastures, and sometimes the intervention of rivers or +other obstacles made their progress peculiarly difficult. On such +occasions, Yarrow continued his efforts to drive his plunder forward, +until the day began to dawn, a signal which, he conceived, rendered it +necessary for him to desert his spoil, and slink homeward by a +circuitous road. It is generally said this accomplished dog was hanged +along with his master; but the truth is, he survived him long, in the +service of a man in Leithen, yet was said afterwards to have shown +little of the wonderful instinct exhibited in the employment of Millar. + +Another instance of similar sagacity, a friend of mine discovered in a +beautiful little spaniel, which he had purchased from a dealer in the +canine race. When he entered a shop, he was not long in observing that +his little companion made it a rule to follow at some interval, and to +estrange itself from his master so much as to appear totally unconnected +with him. And when he left the shop, it was the dog's custom to remain +behind him till it could find an opportunity of seizing a pair of +gloves, or silk stockings, or some similar property, which it brought to +its master. The poor fellow probably saved its life by falling into the +hands of an honest man. + + +Note II., p. 213. + +The author has made an attempt in this character to draw a picture of +what is too often seen, a wretched being whose heart becomes hardened +and spited at the world, in which she is doomed to experience much +misery and little sympathy. The system of compulsory charity by poor's +rates, of which the absolute necessity can hardly be questioned, has +connected with it on both sides some of the most odious and malevolent +feelings that can agitate humanity. The quality of true charity is not +strained. Like that of mercy, of which, in a large sense, it may be +accounted a sister virtue, it blesses him that gives and him that takes. +It awakens kindly feelings both in the mind of the donor and in that of +the relieved object. The giver and receiver are recommended to each +other by mutual feelings of good-will, and the pleasurable emotions +connected with the consciousness of a good action fix the deed in +recollection of the one, while a sense of gratitude renders it holy to +the other. In the legal and compulsory assessment for the proclaimed +parish pauper, there is nothing of all this. The alms are extorted from +an unwilling hand, and a heart which desires the annihilation, rather +than the relief, of the distressed object. The object of charity, +sensible of the ill-will with which the pittance is bestowed, seizes on +it as his right, not as a favour. The manner of conferring it being +directly calculated to hurt and disgust his feelings, he revenges +himself by becoming impudent and clamorous. A more odious picture, or +more likely to deprave the feelings of those exposed to its influence, +can hardly be imagined; and yet to such a point have we been brought by +an artificial system of society, that we must either deny altogether the +right of the poor to their just proportion of the fruits of the earth, +or afford them some means of subsistence out of them by the institution +of positive law. + + +Note III., p. 318. + +_Non omnis moriar._ Saint Ronan's, since this veracious history was +given to the public, has revived as a sort of _alias_, or second title, +to the very pleasant village of Inverleithen upon Tweed, where there is +a medicinal spring much frequented by visitors. Prizes for some of the +manly and athletic sports, common in the pastoral districts around, are +competed for under the title of the Saint Ronan's Games. Nay, Meg Dods +has produced herself of late from obscurity as authoress of a work on +Cookery, of which, in justice to a lady who makes so distinguished a +figure as this excellent dame, we insert the title-page: + + "The Cook and Housewife's Manual: A Practical System of Modern + Domestic Cookery and Family Management. + + --------_'Cook, see all your sawces + Be sharp and poynant in the palate, that they may + Commend you: look to your roast and baked meats handsomely, + And what new kickshaws and delicate made things.'_ + + BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER. + + By Mistress Margaret Dods, of the Cleikum Inn, St. Ronan's." + +Though it is rather unconnected with our immediate subject, we cannot +help adding, that Mrs. Dods has preserved the recipes of certain +excellent old dishes which we would be loath should fall into oblivion +in our day; and in bearing this testimony, we protest that we are no way +biassed by the receipt of two bottles of excellent sauce for cold meat, +which were sent to us by the said Mrs. Dods, as a mark of her respect +and regard, for which we return her our unfeigned thanks, having found +them capital. + + + + +EDITOR'S NOTES. + + +[II-A] p. 104. "Tietania." A little book on the art of tying the neckcloth, +in the age of Brummel and his "failures." Copies may occasionally be +found on the bookstalls. It is not in the Abbotsford Library. + +[II-B] p. 151. "I first persuaded her to quit the path of duty." This +remark of Tyrrel's is one of the many surviving traces of the original +plot. + +[II-C] p. 220. "Master Stephen." A character of Ben Jonson's already +referred to--he who wished for a stool to be sad upon. + +[II-D] p. 223. "A Canon of Strasburgh." Scott frequently refers, in +accounts of the roof of the hall of Abbotsford, which he blazoned with +his quarterings, to his deficiency in the sixteen necessary for a +Canonry. Three shields, those connected with the Rutherfords of +Hunthill, are vacant, or rather are painted with clouds. + +[II-E] p. 238. "One of Plutarch's heroes, if I mistake not." It was not a +hero of Plutarch's, but Pindar the poet, who was warned by Persephone +that he had neglected to honour her by an ode. + +[II-F] p. 254. "They can scarcely say worse of me than I deserve." In this +remark of Clara's we have another trace of the original plot, involving +Clara's lapse from virtue. The whole scene, with Mowbray's "You having +been such as you own yourself," was made unintelligible by Ballantyne's +objection. + +[II-G] p. 300. "A corbie messenger." It seems unlikely that the Scots had a +legend like the Greek one concerning the evil "corbie" or raven +messenger to Apollo about his false lady-love, but no other explanation +suggests itself. + +ANDREW LANG. +_December 1893._ + + + + +APPENDIX. + + +[The following extract from the proof-sheets containing Scott's original +conclusion of "St. Ronan's Well" was sent to the Athenaeum of Feb. 4, +1893, by Mr. J. M. Collyer. The proof-sheets are in the possession of +Mr. Archibald Constable. The scene, of which a few lines remain in the +authorised texts, is that of Hannah Irwin's Confession to Josiah +Cargill. + +"Oh, most unhappy woman," he said, "what does your introduction prepare +me to expect?" + +"Your expectation, be it ever so ominous, shall be fully satisfied. That +Bulmer, when he told you that a secret marriage was necessary to Miss +Mowbray's honour, thought that he was imposing on you.--But he told you +a fatal truth, so far as concerned Clara. She had indeed fallen, but +Bulmer was not her seducer--knew nothing of the truth of what he so +strongly asseverated." + +"_He_ was not her lover, then?--And how came he, then, to press to marry +her?--Or, how came you"---- + +"Hear me--but question not.--Bulmer had gained the advantage over me +which he pretended to have had over Clara. From that moment my +companion's virtue became at once the object of my envy and hatred: yet, +so innocent were the lovers, that, despite of the various arts which I +used to entrap them, they remained guiltless until the fatal evening +when Clara met Tyrrel for the last time ere he removed from the +neighbourhood--and then the devil and Hannah Irwin triumphed. Much there +was of remorse--much of resolutions of separation until the Church +should unite them--but these only forwarded my machinations--for I was +determined she should wed Bulmer, not Tyrrel." + +"Wretch!" exclaimed the clergyman: "and had you not, then, done enough? +Why did you expose the paramour of one brother to become the wife of +another?" + +She paused, and answered sullenly, "I had my reasons--Bulmer had treated +me with scorn. He told me plainly that he used me but as a +stepping-stone to his own purposes: and that these finally centred in +wedding Clara. I was resolved he should wed her, and take with her +infamy and misery to his bed." + +"This is too horrible," said Cargill, endeavouring, with a trembling +hand, to make minutes of her confession. + +"Ay," said the sick woman, "but I contended with a master of the game, +who played me stratagem for stratagem. If I destined for him a +dishonoured wife, he contrived by his agent, Solmes, to match me with a +husband imposed on me by his devices as a man of fortune," &c.--ED.] + + + + +GLOSSARY. + + +A', all. + +Abbey, the sanctuary for debtors at Holyrood Abbey. + +Ae, one. + +Aff, off. + +Ail, to prevent. + +Ainsell, oneself. + +An, if. + +Ance, once. + +Ane, one. + +Asper, a Turkish coin of small value. + +"Athole brose," honey mixed with whisky, used in the Highlands sometimes +as a luxury, sometimes as a specific for a cold. + +Aught, eight. + +Awa, away. + + +Bairn, a child. + +Baith, both. + +Barmy-brained, giddy, feather-brained. + +Baron-bailie, a kind of magistrate, the baron's deputy in a burgh of +barony. + +Basket-beagles, beagles that chased a hare slipped from a basket. + +Bauld, bold. + +Bawbee, a halfpenny. + +Bedral, a sexton. + +Begum, an Indian princess, or lady of high rank. + +Bidden, remained. + +Blawort, a bluebottle. + +Blunt, money. + +Bodle, a small copper coin. + +"Bow Street runners," London detectives. + +Braid, broad. + +Brank, span. + +Briquet, a steel with which to strike a light. + +Brose, oatmeal over which boiling water has been poured. + +Browst, a brewing, as much as is brewed at one time. + +Bruick, a kind of boil. + +"By ordinar," out of the common run. + + +Cadi, a judge. + +Callant, a lad. + +Cantrip, a piece of mischief. + +Capernoity, crabbed, irritable. + +Carline, a witch. + +Cheeny, china. + +Clachan, a hamlet. + +Claise, clothes. + +Cleugh, a rugged ascent. + +Corbie, a raven. "Corbie messenger," a messenger who either returns not +at all, or too late. + +Cull, a fool. + + +Daffing, frolicking. + +Deil, the devil. + +Diddled, beaten, got the better of. + +Dinna, don't. + +Div, do. + +Dorts, in a sullen humour. + +Douce, quiet, sensible. + +Dub-skelper--used contemptuously for a rambling fellow, an idle +vagabond. + +Dwam, a stupor. + + +Encognure, a corner table. + +Eneugh, enough. + + +Fand, found. + +Faughta, a sort of pigeon sacred amongst the Hindoos. + +Feir, with good countenance. + +Fend, defence. + +Feuar, one who holds lands in feu--_i.e._, on lease. + +Fit, foot. + +Flisk-ma-hoy, new-fangled. + +Forby, besides. + +Frae, from. + +Fule, a fool. + +"Fusionless skink," tasteless stuff. + + +Gae, go; gaen, gone. + +Gait, gate, way, direction. + +Galopin, a scullion or errand-boy. + +Ganging, going. + +Gar, to force, to make. "Gars me grue," gives me the creeps. + +Gard, made. + +Gay, very. + +Geeing, giving. + +"Gentlemen of the fancy," prize-fighters. + +Gin, if. + +Girn, to grin. + +Girning, whining. + +Glenlivat, a celebrated whisky distillery. + +Gowk, a fool. + +Grue, to shiver. The flesh is said to _grue_ when a chilly sensation +passes over the surface of the body. + +Gude, good. Gudewife, a landlady. + +Gusing-iron, a smoothing iron. + + +Hae, have. + +Hail, haill, whole. + +"Hale and feir," right and proper. + +Hap, hop. + +Heritors, the landowners and proprietors of the parish. + +Hinny, a term of endearment = honey. + +Hirple, hobble. + +Hollah. _See_ Faughta. + +Hoose, a house. + +Hough, the thigh. + + +Imaum, a Mohammedan ecclesiastic of high rank. + +I'se, I shall. + + +Jaud, a jade. + +Joseph, a riding-coat with buttons down the skirts. + + +Ken, to know. + + +"Lang syne," long ago. + +Limmer, a worthless creature. + + +Maravedi, an old Spanish coin of small value. + +Maundered, mumble. + +Mickle, muckle, much. + +Mundungus, vile, ill-smelling tobacco. + + +Nae, no, not + +Neevie-neevie-nick-nack, a game with marbles, similar to "odd or even." + + +"On the pad," on the tramp. + +Ony, any. + +Or, before. + +Ower, over. + + +Pabouches, slippers. + +Pickle, a little, a small quantity. + +Pliskie, a trick. + +Plottie, mulled wine. + +Pococurante, one who affects indifference. + +Pomander-boxes, perfume-boxes. + +Poortith, poverty. + +Pownie, a pony. + +Puir, poor. + + +Raff, a worthless fellow, a nobody. + +Remora, an obstacle, hindrance. + +Rin, run. + +Roof-tree, the beam that supports the roof. + + +Sae, so. + +Sall, shall. + +Scaurs, jibs. + +Scrog, a stunted bush or scrub. + +"Sgherro insigne," notorious cut-throat. + +Shieling, a hut. + +Shouther, the shoulder. + +Shroff, a Parsee or Indian merchant. + +Sic, such. + +Skeely, skilful. + +Slaister, a mess. + +Snooded, bound up with a snood or fillet for the hair. + +Soop, to sweep. + +Sorting, a correction with the hand or the tongue. + +"Sossings and soopings," made-up soups and messes. + +Souvenir, a lady's reticule or hand-bag. + +Speer, to inquire. + +Sponsible, respectable. + +Swarf, to swoon. + +Syllabub, a curd made of wine or cider with milk or cream. + + +Taupie, tawpie, an awkward girl, a tomboy. + +Tinkler, a tinker. + +Titupping, lively, full of spirit. + +Tozie, a shawl of goat's wool. + +Troke, to traffic, do business with in a small way. + +Turbinacious, peaty, turfy. + + +"Ullah kerim!" God is merciful. + +Ultroneous, uncalled for, unusual. + +Umquhile, the late. + +Unco, very, particular, uncommon. + +Usquebaugh, whisky. + + +Wad, would. + +Wae, woful, sad. + +Waur, worse. + +Wee, small, little. + +Weel, well. + +Wheen, a few. + +Wi', with. + +Windlestrae, a small bundle of straw. + +Wizzened, withered. + +Wunna, will not. + + +Yestreen, last night. + +Yince, once. + + +THE END. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of St. Ronan's Well, by Sir Walter Scott + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ST. 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