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Barrie</title> +<style type="text/css"> +BODY { color: Black; + background: White; + margin-right: 5%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: medium; + font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; + text-align: justify } + +P {text-indent: 4% } + +P.noindent {text-indent: 0% } + +P.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: small } + +P.letter {font-size: small ; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.salutation {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.closing {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.footnote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.transnote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.index {font-size: small ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.intro {font-size: medium ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.dedication {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 15%; + text-align: justify } + +P.published {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 15% } + +P.quote {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.report {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.report2 {font-size: small ; + text-indent: 4% ; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.finis { text-align: center ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +H3.h3left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H3.h3right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H3.h3center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H4.h4center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5left { margin-left: 0%; + margin-right: 1%; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: left ; + clear: left ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5right { margin-left: 1%; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: right ; + clear: right ; + text-align: center } + +H5.h5center { margin-left: 0; + margin-right: 0 ; + margin-bottom: .5% ; + margin-top: 0; + float: none ; + clear: both ; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgleft { float: left; + clear: left; + margin-left: 0; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: 1%; + padding: 0; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgright {float: right; + clear: right; + margin-left: 1%; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: 0; + padding: 0; + text-align: center } + +IMG.imgcenter { margin-left: auto; + margin-bottom: 0; + margin-top: 1%; + margin-right: auto; } + +.pagenum { position: absolute; + left: 1%; + font-size: 95%; + text-align: left; + text-indent: 0; + font-style: normal; + font-weight: normal; + font-variant: normal; } + + hr.full { width: 100%; + height: 5px; } + a:link {color:#0000ff; + text-decoration:none; } + link {color:#0000ff; + text-decoration:none; } + a:visited {color:#0000ff; + text-decoration:none; } + a:hover {color:#ff0000; + text-decoration: underline; } + pre {font-size: 75%; } + +</style> +</head> +<body> +<h1 align="center">The Project Gutenberg eBook, Auld Licht Idylls, by J. M. Barrie</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: Auld Licht Idylls</p> +<p>Author: J. M. Barrie</p> +<p>Release Date: March 27, 2007 [eBook #20918]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLLS***</p> +<br><br><center><h3>E-text prepared by Al Haines</h3></center><br><br> +<p> </p> +<center> +<table border=0 bgcolor="ccccff" cellpadding=10 width="70%"> + <tr> + <td align="center"> + Transcriber's note: + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + The volume from which this e-book was created contained two books, + <i>Auld Licht Idylls</i> and <i>Better Dead</i>. The Introduction discusses + both. + </td> + </tr> +</table> +</center> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" noshade> +<p> </p> + +<A NAME="img-front"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-front.jpg" ALT="Photograph of J. M. Barrie" BORDER="2" WIDTH="341" HEIGHT="482"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 341px"> +Photograph of J. M. Barrie +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +THE NOVELS, TALES AND SKETCHES <BR> +OF J. M. BARRIE +</H2> + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +AULD LICHT IDYLLS +</H1> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + +<H4 ALIGN="center"> +PUBLISHED IN NEW YORK BY +<BR> +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS +<BR> +1896 +</H4> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H5 ALIGN="center"> +AUTHOR'S EDITION +<BR><BR> +Copyright, 1896, by CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS. +</H5> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +TO +<BR> +FREDERICK GREENWOOD +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +INTRODUCTION +</H3> + +<P> +This is the only American edition of my books produced with my +sanction, and I have special reasons for thanking Messrs. Scribner for +its publication; they let it be seen, by this edition, what are my +books, for I know not how many volumes purporting to be by me, are in +circulation in America which are no books of mine. I have seen several +of these, bearing such titles as "Two of Them," "An Auld Licht Manse," +"A Tillyloss Scandal," and some of them announce themselves as author's +editions, or published by arrangement with the author. They consist of +scraps collected and published without my knowledge, and I entirely +disown them. I have written no books save those that appear in this +edition. +</P> + +<P> +I am asked to write a few lines on the front page of each of these +volumes, to say something, as I take it, about how they came into +being. Well, they were written mainly to please one woman who is now +dead, but as I am writing a little book about my mother I shall say no +more of her here. +</P> + +<P> +Many of the chapters in "Auld Licht Idylls" first appeared in a +different form in the <I>St. James's Gazette</I>, and there is little doubt +that they would never have appeared anywhere but for the encouragement +given to me by the editor of that paper. It was pressure from him that +induced me to write a second "Idyll" and a third after I thought the +first completed the picture, he set me thinking seriously of these +people, and though he knew nothing of them himself, may be said to have +led me back to them. It seems odd, and yet I am not the first nor the +fiftieth who has left Thrums at sunrise to seek the life-work that was +all the time awaiting him at home. And we seldom sally forth a second +time. I had always meant to be a novelist, but London, I thought, was +the quarry. +</P> + +<P> +For long I had an uneasy feeling that no one save the editor read my +contributions, for I was leading a lonely life in London, and not +another editor could I find in the land willing to print the Scotch +dialect. The magazines, Scotch and English, would have nothing to say +to me—I think I tried them all with "The Courting of T'nowhead's +Bell," but it never found shelter until it got within book-covers. In +time, however, I found another paper, the <I>British Weekly</I>, with an +editor as bold as my first (or shall we say he suffered from the same +infirmity?). He revived my drooping hopes, and I was again able to +turn to the only kind of literary work I now seemed to have much +interest in. He let me sign my articles, which was a big step for me +and led to my having requests for work from elsewhere, but always the +invitations said "not Scotch—the public will not read dialect." By +this time I had put together from these two sources and from my +drawerful of rejected stories this book of "Auld Licht Idylls," and in +its collected form it again went the rounds. I offered it to certain +firms as a gift, but they would not have it even at that. And then, on +a day came actually an offer for it from Messrs. Hodder and Stoughton. +For this, and for many another kindness, I had the editor of the +<I>British Weekly</I> to thank. Thus the book was published at last, and as +for Messrs. Hodder and Stoughton I simply dare not say what a generous +firm I found them, lest it send too many aspirants to their doors. +But, indeed, I have had the pleasantest relations with all my +publishers. +</P> + +<P> +"Better Dead" is, by my wish, no longer on sale in Great Britain, and I +should have preferred not to see it here, for it is in no way worthy of +the beautiful clothes Messrs. Scribner have given it. Weighted with +"An Edinburgh Eleven" it would rest very comfortably in the mill dam, +but the publishers have reasons for its inclusion; among them, I +suspect, is a well-grounded fear that if I once began to hack and hew, +I should not stop until I had reduced the edition to two volumes. This +juvenile effort is a field of prickles into which none may be advised +to penetrate—I made the attempt lately in cold blood and came back +shuddering, but I had read enough to have the profoundest reason for +declining to tell what the book is about. And yet I have a sentimental +interest in "Better Dead," for it was my first—published when I had +small hope of getting any one to accept the Scotch—and there was a +week when I loved to carry it in my pocket and did not think it dead +weight. Once I almost saw it find a purchaser. She was a pretty girl +and it lay on a bookstall, and she read some pages and smiled, and then +retired, and came back and began another chapter. Several times she +did this, and I stood in the background trembling with hope and fear. +At last she went away without the book, but I am still of opinion that, +had it been just a little bit better, she would have bought it. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +CONTENTS +</H2> + +<BR> + +<CENTER> + +<TABLE WIDTH="100%"> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">I. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap01">THE SCHOOLHOUSE</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">II. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap02">THRUMS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">III. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap03">THE AULD LICHT KIRK</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">IV. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap04">LADS AND LASSES</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">V. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap05">THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VI. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap06">THE OLD DOMINIE</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VII. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap07">CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">VIII. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap08">THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">IX. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap09">DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">X. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap10">A VERY OLD FAMILY</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XI. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap11">LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL"</A></TD> +</TR> + +<TR> +<TD ALIGN="right" VALIGN="top">XII. </TD> +<TD ALIGN="left" VALIGN="top"> +<A HREF="#chap12">A LITERARY CLUB</A></TD> +</TR> + +</TABLE> + +</CENTER> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H2 ALIGN="center"> +ILLUSTRATIONS +</H2> + +<BR> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-front"> +J. M. BARRIE . . . . . . . . . <I>Frontispiece</I> +</A> +</H3> + +<H3> +<A HREF="#img-128"> +Sabbath at T'nowhead +</A> +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap01"></A> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +AULD LIGHT IDYLLS +</H1> + +<BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER I +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE SCHOOLHOUSE +</H3> + +<P> +Early this morning I opened a window in my schoolhouse in the glen of +Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the +frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to +the water-spout that suspends its "tangles" of ice over a gaping tank, +and, rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, +bobbed through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a +forlorn hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my +hilarious bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was +found frozen in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces +by his side. Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At +meal-times they litter the hearth with each other's feathers; but for +the most part they give little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the +low-roofed kitchen among staves and fishing-rods. +</P> + +<P> +Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out +last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze +for a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the +waste. The schoolhouse, I suppose, serves similarly as a snowmark for +the people at the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering +the cattle in the snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike +hills that pen in the glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of +the sportsman's gun (so clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to +every rabbit and partridge in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows +here and there a black ridge, rearing its head at the entrance to the +glen and struggling ineffectually to cast off his shroud. Most wintry +sign of all, I think as I close the window hastily, is the open +farm-stile, its poles lying embedded in the snow where they were last +flung by Waster Lunny's herd. Through the still air comes from a +distance a vibration as of a tuning-fork: a robin, perhaps, alighting +on the wire of a broken fence. +</P> + +<P> +In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed +bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless to +go through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the +exception of Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. +Yesterday she announced that there would be no more schooling till it +was fresh, "as she wasna comin';" and indeed, though the smoke from the +farm chimneys is a pretty prospect for a snowed-up schoolmaster, the +trudge between the two houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for +the other children, who have to come from all parts of the hills and +glen, I may not see them for weeks. Last year the school was +practically deserted for a month. A pleasant outlook, with the March +examinations staring me in the face, and an inspector fresh from +Oxford. I wonder what he would say if he saw me to-day digging myself +out of the schoolhouse with the spade I now keep for the purpose in my +bedroom. +</P> + +<P> +The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. +A crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, +have made the coalhouse their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks +without rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch +courage with the birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; +but I look attentively for them in these long forenoons, and they have +begun to regard me as one of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my +pipe, as I peer from the door; and with a fortnight-old newspaper I +retire to the ingle-nook. The friendliest thing I have seen to-day is +the well-smoked ham suspended from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift +from the farm of Tullin, with a load of peats, the day before the snow +began to fall. I doubt if I have seen a cart since. +</P> + +<P> +This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious +scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout "tackety" boots, I +had waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer +the never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, +I can any morning whip a savoury breakfast; in the winter-time the only +thing in the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched +the water twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on +its edge proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from +which it has, after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild +rosebush on the further bank was violently agitated, and then there ran +from its root a black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general +effect. I was not less interested when my startled eyes divided this +phenomenon into its component parts, and recognized in the disturbance +on the opposite bank only another fierce struggle among the hungry +animals for existence: they need no professor to teach them the +doctrine of the survival of the fittest. A weasel had gripped a +water-hen (whit-rit and beltie they are called in these parts) cowering +at the root of the rose-bush, and was being dragged down the bank by +the terrified bird, which made for the water as its only chance of +escape. In less disadvantageous circumstances the weasel would have +made short work of his victim; but as he only had the bird by the tail, +the prospects of the combatants were equalized. It was the tug-of-war +being played with a life as the stakes. "If I do not reach the water," +was the argument that went on in the heaving little breast of the one, +"I am a dead bird." "If this water-hen," reasoned the other, "reaches +the burn, my supper vanishes with her." Down the sloping bank the hen +had distinctly the best of it, but after that came a yard of level +snow, and here she tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an +unobserved spectator; but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, +thinking it high time to interfere, I jumped into the water. The +water-hen gave one mighty final tug and toppled into the burn; while +the weasel viciously showed me his teeth, and then stole slowly up the +bank to the rose-bush, whence, "girning," he watched me lift his +exhausted victim from the water, and set off with her for the +schoolhouse. Except for her draggled tail, she already looks +wonderfully composed, and so long as the frost holds I shall have +little difficulty in keeping her with me. On Sunday I found a frozen +sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in the disused pig-sty, +and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The ungrateful little +scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes afterwards to +the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. +</P> + +<P> +I am alone in the schoolhouse. On just such an evening as this last +year my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed +for the night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm +hearth, to challenge my right hand again to a game at the "dambrod" +against my left. I do not lock the schoolhouse door at nights; for +even a highwayman (there is no such luck) would be received with open +arms, and I doubt if there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is +cosier to put on the shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself +miles down the valley. I wonder what they are doing out in the world. +Though I am the Free Church precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and +the little town is five miles away), they have not seen me for three +weeks. A packman whom I thawed yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me, +that last Sabbath only the Auld Lichts held service. Other people +realized that they were snowed up. Far up the glen, after it twists +out of view, a manse and half a dozen thatched cottages that are there +may still show a candle light, and the crumbling gravestones keep cold +vigil round the grey old kirk. Heavy shadows fade into the sky to the +north. A flake trembles against the window; but it is too cold for +much snow to-night. The shutter bars the outer world from the +schoolhouse. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap02"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER II +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THRUMS +</H3> + +<P> +Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled +together in a cup, which is the town nearest the schoolhouse. Until +twenty years ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the +rafters overhead, had a handloom, and hundreds of weavers lived and +died Thoreaus "ben the hoose" without knowing it. In those days the +cup overflowed and left several houses on the top of the hill, where +their cold skeletons still stand. The road that climbs from the +square, which is Thrums's heart, to the north is so steep and straight, +that in a sharp frost children hunker at the top and are blown down +with a roar and a rush on rails of ice. At such times, when viewed +from the cemetery where the traveller from the schoolhouse gets his +first glimpse of the little town, Thrums is but two church steeples and +a dozen red stone patches standing out of a snow-heap. One of the +steeples belongs to the new Free Kirk, and the other to the parish +church, both of which the first Auld Licht minister I knew ran past +when he had not time to avoid them by taking a back wynd. He was but a +pocket edition of a man, who grew two inches after he was called; but +he was so full of the cure of souls, that he usually scudded to it with +his coattails quarrelling behind him. His successor, whom I knew +better, was a greater scholar, and said, "Let us see what this is in +the original Greek," as an ordinary man might invite a friend to +dinner; but he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, his successor, did with +the pulpit cushions, nor flung himself at the pulpit door. Nor was he +so "hard on the Book," as Lang Tammas, the precentor, expressed it, +meaning that he did not bang the Bible with his fist as much as might +have been wished. +</P> + +<P> +Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious +dominie at the schoolhouse in the glen. The dear old soul who +originally induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the +"want of Christ" in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. +For the last ten years of her life she was bedridden, and only her +interest in the kirk kept her alive. Her case against the minister was +that he did not call to denounce her sufficiently often for her sins, +her pleasure being to hear him bewailing her on his knees as one who +was probably past praying for. She was as sweet and pure a woman as I +ever knew, and had her wishes been horses, she would have sold them and +kept (and looked after) a minister herself. +</P> + +<P> +There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays—perhaps +because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts +were always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle +with the workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his +Waterloo in Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of +them left still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, +the clatter of the handloom can yet be heard, and they have been +starving themselves of late until they have saved up enough money to +get another minister. +</P> + +<P> +The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly +built little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round +a hen. Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other +denominations have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even +to be found in the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They +live in the kirk-wynd, or in retiring little houses the builder of +which does not seem to have remembered that it is a good plan to have a +road leading to houses until after they were finished. Narrow paths +straggling round gardens, some of them with stunted gates, which it is +commoner to step over than to open, have been formed to reach these +dwellings, but in winter they are running streams, and then the best +way to reach a house such as that of Tammy Mealmaker the wright, +pronounced wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and a pig-sty. Tammy, who +died a bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a disappointment in +love, of which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away in a town to +which he had wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and they +became engaged. Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he +never knew the address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. +He admitted himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a +very ordinary character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the +whole family by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was +pointed at in Thrums as the laddie that whistled when he went past the +minister. Joey became a pedlar, and was found dead one raw morning +dangling over a high wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing +the dyke his pack had slipped back, the strap round his neck, and +choked him. +</P> + +<P> +You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, +his dull vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn +round his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious +garters, and frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his +waistcoat. If he was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled +it on a creaking barrow, and when he met a friend they said, "Ay, +Jeames," and "Ay, Davit," and then could think of nothing else. At +long intervals they passed through the square, disappearing or coming +into sight round the town-house which stands on the south side of it, +and guards the entrance to a steep brae that leads down and then twists +up on its lonely way to the county town. I like to linger over the +square, for it was from an upper window in it that I got to know +Thrums. On Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht young men came into +the square dressed and washed to look at the young women errand-going, +and to laugh sometime afterwards to each other, it presented a glare of +light; and here even came the cheap jacks and the Fair Circassian, and +the showman, who, besides playing "The Mountain Maid and the Shepherd's +Bride," exhibited part of the tail of Balaam's ass, the helm of Noah's +ark, and the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped Prince +Charlie. More select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's waxwork, +whose motto was, "A rag to pay, and in you go," were given in a hall +whose approach was by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the fair +for which children storing their pocket money would accumulate +sevenpence-half-penny in less than six months, the square was crammed +with gingerbread stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who +were gifted with second sight. There was a bearded man, who had +neither legs nor arms, and was drawn through the streets in a small +cart by four dogs. By looking at you he could see all the clockwork +inside, as could a boy who was led about by his mother at the end of a +string. Every Friday there was the market, when a dozen ramshackle +carts containing vegetables and cheap crockery filled the centre of the +square, resting in line on their shafts. A score of farmers' wives or +daughters in old-world garments squatted against the town-house within +walls of butter on cabbage-leaves, eggs and chickens. Towards evening +the voice of the buckie-man shook the square, and rival fish-cadgers, +terrible characters who ran races on horseback, screamed libels at each +other over a fruiterer's barrow. Then it was time for douce Auld +Lichts to go home, draw their stools near the fire, spread their red +handkerchiefs over their legs to prevent their trousers getting singed, +and read their "Pilgrim's Progress." +</P> + +<P> +In my schoolhouse, however, I seem to see the square most readily in +the Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones and +choking the drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my +window-sill, nor dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of +water grew on the panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the +sodden square would have shed abundant tears if you could have taken it +in your hands and wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the +square would be empty but for one vegetable cart left in the care of a +lean collie, which, tied to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. +Pools of water gather in the coarse sacks, that have been spread over +the potatoes and bundles of greens, which turn to manure in their +lidless barrels. The eyes of the whimpering dog never leave a black +close over which hangs the sign of the Bull, probably the refuge of the +hawker. At long intervals a farmer's gig rumbles over the bumpy, +ill-paved square, or a native, with his head buried in his coat, peeps +out of doors, skurries across the way, and vanishes. Most of the +leading shops are here, and the decorous draper ventures a few yards +from the pavement to scan the sky, or note the effect of his new +arrangement in scarves. Planted against his door is the butcher, +Henders Todd, white-aproned, and with a knife in his hand, gazing +interestedly at the draper, for a mere man may look at an elder. The +tinsmith brings out his steps, and, mounting them, stealthily removes +the saucepans and pepper-pots that dangle on a wire above his +sign-board. Pulling to his door he shuts out the foggy light that +showed in his solder-strewn workshop. The square is deserted again. A +bundle of sloppy parsley slips from the hawker's cart and topples over +the wheel in driblets. The puddles in the sacks overflow and run +together. The dog has twisted his chain round a barrel and yelps +sharply. As if in response comes a rush of other dogs. A terrified +fox-terrier tears across the square with half a score of mongrels, the +butcher's mastiff and some collies at his heels; he is doubtless a +stranger who has insulted them by his glossy coat. For two seconds the +square shakes to an invasion of dogs, and then, again, there is only +one dog in sight. +</P> + +<P> +No one will admit the Scotch mist. It "looks saft." The tinsmith +"wudna wonder but what it was makkin for rain." Tammas Haggart and +Pete Lunan dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their +hands to discover what the weather is like. By and by they come to a +standstill to discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are +looking silently at the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move +toward the inn at the same time, and its door closes on them before +they know what they are doing. A few minutes afterwards Jinny Dundas, +who is Pete's wife, runs straight for the Bull in her short gown, which +is tucked up very high, and emerges with her husband soon afterwards. +Jinny is voluble, but Pete says nothing. Tammas follows later, putting +his head out at the door first, and looking cautiously about him to see +if any one is in sight. Pete is a U. P., and may be left to his fate, +but the Auld Licht minister thinks that though it be hard work, Tammas +is worth saving. +</P> + +<P> +To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of +damnation—auld kirk, play-acting, chapel. Chapel was the name always +given to the English Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht +myself to care to write even now. To belong to the chapel was, in +Thrums, to be a Roman Catholic, and the boy who flung a clod of earth +at the English minister—who called the Sabbath Sunday—or dropped a +"divet" down his chimney was held to be in the right way. The only +pleasant story Thrums could tell of the chapel was that its steeple +once fell. It is surprising that an English church was ever suffered +to be built in such a place; though probably the county gentry had +something to do with it. They travelled about too much to be good men. +Small though Thrums used to be, it had four kirks in all before the +Disruption, and then another, which split into two immediately +afterwards. The spire of the parish church, known as the auld kirk, +commands a view of the square, from which the entrance to the kirkyard +would be visible, if it were not hidden by the town-house. The +kirkyard has long been crammed, and is not now in use, but the church +is sufficiently large to hold nearly all the congregations in Thrums. +Just at the gate lived Pete Todd, the father of Sam'l, a man of whom +the Auld Lichts had reason to be proud. Pete was an every-day man at +ordinary times, and was even said, when his wife, who had been long +ill, died, to have clapped his hands and exclaimed, "Hip, hip, hurrah!" +adding only as an afterthought, "The Lord's will be done." But +midsummer was his great opportunity. Then took place the rouping of +the seats in the parish church. The scene was the kirk itself, and the +seats being put up to auction were knocked down to the highest bidder. +This sometimes led to the breaking of the peace. Every person was +present who was at all particular as to where he sat, and an auctioneer +was engaged for the day. He rouped the kirk-seats like potato-drills, +beginning by asking for a bid. Every seat was put up to auction +separately; for some were much more run after than others, and the men +were instructed by their wives what to bid for. Often the women joined +in, and as they bid excitedly against each other the church rang with +opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup late, and learn +that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He maintained that he +had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird to whom the +seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the kirk. +Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant by +glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member +would "thrip down the throat" of the auctioneer that he had a right to +his former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The +auctioneer was screamed at for favouring his friends, and at times the +roup became so noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. +Then was Pete's chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry +people on their way home and took them into his workshop by an outside +stair. There he assisted them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the +view of getting them to forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts +in his time out of unpromising material. +</P> + +<P> +Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could +not have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here +sinful women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having +thundered for a time against adultery in general, called upon one +sinner in particular to stand forth. She had to step forward into a +pew near the pulpit, where, alone and friendless, and stared at by the +congregation, she cowered in tears beneath his denunciations. In that +seat she had to remain during the forenoon service. She returned home +alone, and had to come back alone to her solitary seat in the +afternoon. All day no one dared speak to her. She was as much an +object of contumely as the thieves and smugglers whom, in the end of +last century, it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he was +called) to whip round the square. +</P> + +<P> +It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last "walk" in +Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked +once every summer. There was a "weavers' walk" and five or six others, +the "women's walk" being the most picturesque. These were processions +of the members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and +all the women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, +behind the Tilliedrum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its +own. +</P> + +<P> +From the north-west corner of the square a narrow street sets off, +jerking this way and that as if uncertain what point to make for. Here +lurks the post-office, which had once the reputation of being as +crooked in its ways as the street itself. +</P> + +<P> +A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the +post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a +creaking old cart from Tilliedrum. The "pony" had seen better days +than the cart, and always looked as if he were just on the point of +succeeding in running away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver; so-called +because an iron hook was his substitute for a right arm: Robbie +Proctor, the blacksmith, made the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered +from rheumatism, and when he felt it coming on he stayed at home. +Sometimes his cart came undone in a snowdrift; when Hooky, extricated +from the fragments by some chance wayfarer, was deposited with his +mail-bag (of which he always kept a grip by the hook) in a farm-house. +It was his boast that his letters always reached their destination +eventually. They might be a long time about it, but "slow and sure" +was his motto. Hooky emphasized his "slow and sure" by taking a snuff. +He was a godsend to the post-mistress, for to his failings or the +infirmities of his gig were charged all delays. +</P> + +<P> +At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was +as serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, for +many of the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums +schoolmaster, Mr. Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was +one of the few persons in the community who looked upon the despatch of +his letters by the postmistress as his right, and not a favour on her +part; there was a long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a +few tumblers of Widow Stables's treacle-beer—in the concoction of +which she was the acknowledged mistress for miles around—the +schoolmaster would sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get +the postmistress dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest +on a knowledge of "steamed" letters. Thrums had a high respect for the +schoolmaster; but among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he +did write to the Government, Lizzie Harrison, the postmistress, would +refuse to transmit the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept +friends with both parties; for, unless you could write "writ-hand," you +could not compose a letter without the schoolmaster's assistance; and, +unless Lizzie was so courteous as to send it to its destination, it +might lie—or so it was thought—-much too long in the box. A letter +addressed by the schoolmaster found great disfavour in Lizzie's eyes. +You might explain to her that you had merely called in his assistance +because you were a poor hand at writing yourself, but that was held no +excuse. Some addressed their own envelopes with much labour, and +sought to palm off the whole as their handiwork. It reflects on the +postmistress somewhat that she had generally found them out by next +day, when, if in a specially vixenish mood, she did not hesitate to +upbraid them for their perfidy. +</P> + +<P> +To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop +it into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop +and explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a +bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books +corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief +trade was in nicknacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. +If he found the postmistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and +then, the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having +discussed the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his +sister Mary, whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in +Dundee. The fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing +well. They had four children. The youngest had had a severe attack of +measles. No news had been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, +his other sister, who lived in Thrums, had been at him of late for not +writing. So he had written a few lines; and, in fact, he had the +letter with him. The letter was then produced, and examined by the +postmistress. If the address was in the schoolmaster's handwriting, +she professed her inability to read it. Was this a <I>t</I> or an <I>l</I> or an +<I>i</I>? was that a <I>b</I> or a <I>d</I>? This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's +part; for the sender of the letter was completely at her mercy. The +schoolmaster's name being tabooed in her presence, he was unable to +explain that the writing was not his own; and as for deciding between +the <I>t</I>'s and <I>l</I>'s, he could not do it. Eventually he would be +directed to put the letter into the box. They would do their best with +it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that suggested how little hope she had +of her efforts to decipher it proving successful. +</P> + +<P> +There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should +not be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a +penny for the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie +would see that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the +handwriting of every person in the place who could write gave her a +great advantage. You would perhaps drop into her shop some day to make +a purchase, when she would calmly produce a letter you had posted +several days before. In explanation she would tell you that you had +not put a stamp on it, or that she suspected there was money in it, or +that you had addressed it to the wrong place. I remember an old man, a +relative of my own, who happened for once in his life to have several +letters to post at one time. The circumstance was so out of the common +that he considered it only reasonable to make Lizzie a small present. +</P> + +<P> +Perhaps the postmistress was belled; but if she did not "steam" the +letters and confide their titbits to favoured friends of her own sex, +it is difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The schoolmaster +once played an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in +the act. He was a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids +in the town. One day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady +in the county-town, asking her to be his, and going into full +particulars about his income, his age, and his prospects. A male +friend in the secret, at the other end, was to reply, in a lady's +handwriting, accepting him, and also giving personal particulars. The +first letter was written; and an answer arrived in due course—two +days, the schoolmaster said, after date. No other person knew of this +scheme for the undoing of the postmistress, yet in a very short time +the schoolmaster's coming marriage was the talk of Thrums. Everybody +became suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, and of the sum +of money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised abroad that +the schoolmaster had represented his age as a good ten years less than +it was. Then the schoolmaster divulged everything. To his +mortification, he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring +forward to support his story was this: that time would show whether he +got married or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, +which was accepted at once. The lady had jilted the schoolmaster. +Whether this explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But +so long as he lived the schoolmaster was twitted about the lady who +threw him over. He took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted +letters exceedingly abusive of the postmistress. The matter might be +libellous; but then, as he pointed out, she would incriminate herself +if she "brought him up" about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other +insult more. By publishing his suspicions of her on every possible +occasion he got a few people to seal their letters. So bitter was his +feeling against her that he was even willing to supply the wax. +</P> + +<P> +They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the +telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when +he was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in +triumph. That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the +earth. But perhaps they are not even yet as knowing as they think +themselves. I was told the other day that one of them took out a +postal order, meaning to send the money to a relative, and kept the +order as a receipt. +</P> + +<P> +I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty +Saturday, seven years ago, I trudged into it from the schoolhouse, and +on the Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. +</P> + +<P> +I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could +have shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To +get out of doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of +snow fading into white hills and sky with the quarry standing out red +and ragged to the right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse +was gone, but had left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches +soft with snow. Roofs were humps in the white blanket. The spire of +the Established Kirk stood up cold and stiff, like a monument to the +buried inhabitants. +</P> + +<P> +Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying spades +into their houses the night before, which is my plan at the +schoolhouse, dug themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the +snow, sometimes sinking into it to their knees, when they stood still +and slowly took in the situation. It had been snowing more or less for +a week, but in a commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed +thinking all was well. This night the snow must have fallen as if the +heavens had opened up, determined to shake themselves free of it for +ever. +</P> + +<P> +The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young +Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an "orra +man" about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his +mother's sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; +and all the learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a +grocer's window. But for one brief day he had things his own way in +the town, or, speaking strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a +broom, and a pickaxe, which sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was +not even back-bent, and that showed him no respectable weaver), Henders +delved his way to the nearest house, which formed one of a row, and +addressed the inmates down the chimney. They had already been clearing +it at the other end, or his words would have been choked. "You're +snawed up, Davit," cried Henders, in a voice that was entirely +businesslike; "hae ye a spade?" A conversation ensued up and down this +unusual channel of communication. The unlucky householder, taking no +thought of the morrow, was without a spade. But if Henders would clear +away the snow from his door he would be "varra obleeged." Henders, +however, had to come to terms first. "The chairge is saxpence, Davit," +he shouted. Then a haggling ensued. Henders must be neighbourly. A +plate of broth, now—or, say, twopence. But Henders was obdurate. +"I'se nae time to argy-bargy wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' to +say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um Pyatt's. He's buried too." So the +victim had to make up his mind to one of two things; he must either say +saxpence or remain where he was. +</P> + +<P> +If Henders was "promised," he took good care that no snowed-up +inhabitant should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, +and, clearing the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could +not conscientiously proceed further until the debt had been paid. +"Money doon," he cried, as soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, +"Come awa wi' my saxpence noo." +</P> + +<P> +The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was borne +out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from +sixpence to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his +victims; and when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the +discrimination to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the +honour of digging out three ministers at one shilling, one and +threepence, and two shillings respectively. +</P> + +<P> +Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was reburied in +snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants +were not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their +hands in the morning, and they fought their way above ground without +Henders Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds +and pends, however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld +Lichts, at least, rested content when enough light got into their +workshops to let them see where their looms stood. Wading through beds +of snow they did not much mind; but they wondered what would happen to +their houses when the thaw came. +</P> + +<P> +The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees +of frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of +nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the +glens, made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice +driving so far into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor +turn back. A ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did +not get home for a week. Between the town, which is nowadays an +agricultural centre of some importance, and the outlying farms +communication was cut off for a month; and I heard subsequently of one +farmer who did not see a human being, unconnected with his own farm, +for seven weeks. The schoolhouse, which I managed to reach only two +days behind time, was closed for a fortnight, and even in Thrums there +was only a sprinkling of scholars. +</P> + +<P> +On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, +and the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who +did. In the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who +waited in vain for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a +flag of distress was flying from the manse, and then they saw that the +minister was storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct +service; but the others present thought they had done their duty and +went home. The U. P. bell did not ring at all, and the kirk gates were +not opened. The Free Kirk did bravely, however. The attendance in the +forenoon amounted to seven, including the minister; but in the +afternoon there was a turn-out of upwards of fifty. How much +denominational competition had to do with this, none can say; but the +general opinion was that this muster to afternoon service was a piece +of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks were on their mettle, and, +though the snow was drifting the whole day, services were general. It +was felt that after the action of the Free Kirk the Establisheds and +the U. P.'s must show what they too were capable of. So, when the +bells rang at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers began to pour out of +every close. If I remember aright, the victory lay with the U. P.'s by +two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts mustered in as great +force as ever. The other kirks never dreamt of competing with them. +What was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk for its boastfulness +of spirit on the preceding Sunday happened during the forenoon. While +the service was taking place a huge clod of snow slipped from the roof +and fell right against the church door. It was some time before the +prisoners could make up their minds to leave by the windows. What the +Auld Lichts would have done in a similar predicament I cannot even +conjecture. +</P> + +<P> +That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more +snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to +see. There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had +not been piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained in +the narrow ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through +doorways, when it sank slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created +a ripple on its surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and +flung it against the houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow +till they tottered like icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their +way through it on stilts. Had a frost followed, the result would have +been appalling; but there was no more frost that winter. A fortnight +passed before the place looked itself again, and even then congealed +snow stood doggedly in the streets, while the country roads were like +newly ploughed fields after rain. The heat from large fires soon +penetrated through roofs of slate and thatch; and it was quite a common +thing for a man to be flattened to the ground by a slithering of snow +from above just as he opened his door. But it had seldom more than ten +feet to fall. Most interesting of all was the novel sensation +experienced as Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and objects +so long buried that they had been half forgotten came back to view and +use. +</P> + +<P> +Storm-stayed shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. +As the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in +the winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by +itinerant showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed +little colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in +any empty field or disused quarry and huddled together for the sake of +warmth: not that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago +we had a storm-stayed show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers +are less willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the +people are less easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife +and drum. The colony hung together until it was starved out, when it +trailed itself elsewhere. I have often seen it forming. The first +arrival would be what was popularly known as "Sam'l Mann's +Tumbling-Booth," with its tumblers, jugglers, sword-swallowers, and +balancers. This travelling show visited us regularly twice a year: +once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when the performers were gay and +stout, and even the horses had flesh on their bones; and again in the +"back-end" of the year, when cold and hunger had taken the blood from +their faces, and the scraggy dogs that whined at their side were lashed +for licking the paint off the caravans. While the storm-stayed show +was in the vicinity the villages suffered from an invasion of these +dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful tale of the showman's life +in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and half a dozen smaller ones, +most of which were familiar to us, crawled in its wake. Others heard +of its whereabouts and came in from distant parts. There was the +well-known Gubbins with his "A' the World in a Box:" a halfpenny +peepshow, in which all the world was represented by Joseph and his +Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of Copenhagen, the Battle +of the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and Mount Etna in eruption. +"Aunt Maggy's Whirligig" could be enjoyed on payment of an old pair of +boots, a collection of rags, or the like. Besides these and other +shows, there were the wandering minstrels, most of whom were "Waterloo +veterans" wanting arms or a leg. I remember one whose arms had been +"smashed by a thunderbolt at Jamaica." Queer bent old dames, who +superintended "lucky bags" or told fortunes, supplied the uncanny +element, but hesitated to call themselves witches, for there can still +be seen near Thrums the pool where these unfortunates used to be +drowned, and in the session book of the Glen Quharity kirk can be read +an old minute announcing that on a certain Sabbath there was no +preaching because "the minister was away at the burning of a witch." +To the storm-stayed shows came the gypsies in great numbers. Claypots +(which is a corruption of Claypits) was their headquarters near Thrums, +and it is still sacred to their memory. It was a clachan of miserable +little huts built entirely of clay from the dreary and sticky pit in +which they had been flung together. A shapeless hole on one side was +the doorway, and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, the +window. Some of the remnants of these hovels still stand. Their +occupants, though they went by the name of gypsies among themselves, +were known to the weavers as the Claypots beggars; and their King was +Jimmy Pawse. His regal dignity gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first +when he chose to do so; thus he got the cream of a place before his +subjects set to work. He was rather foppish in his dress; generally +affecting a suit of grey cloth with showy metal buttons on it, and a +broad blue bonnet. His wife was a little body like himself; and when +they went a-begging, Jimmy with a meal-bag for alms on his back, she +always took her husband's arm. Jimmy was the legal adviser of his +subjects; his decision was considered final on all questions, and he +guided them in their courtships as well as on their deathbeds. He +christened their children and officiated at their weddings, marrying +them over the tongs. +</P> + +<P> +The storm-stayed show attracted old and young—to looking on from the +outside. In the daytime the wagons and tents presented a dreary +appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and +but little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were +lit, and the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent +into the town to entice an audience. They marched quickly through the +nipping, windy streets, and then returned with two or three score of +men, women, and children, plunging through the snow or mud at their +heavy heels. It was Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a +mockery the glare of the lamps and the capers of the mountebanks were, +and how satisfied were we to enjoy it all without going inside. I hear +the "Waterloo veterans" still, and remember their patriotic outbursts: +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> +On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, while cannon loud did roar,<BR> +We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore;<BR> +But British steel soon made them yield, though our numbers was but few,<BR> +And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo.<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +The storm-stayed shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field +than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, +sufficiently to prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not +sufficiently to keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many +cases have meant starvation. They managed to fight their way through +storm and snowdrift to the high road and thence to the town, where they +got meal and sometimes broth. The tumblers and jugglers used +occasionally to hire an out-house in the town at these times—you may +be sure they did not pay for it in advance—and give performances +there. It is a curious thing, but true, that our herd-boys and others +were sometimes struck with the stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the +showmen even in winter. +</P> + +<P> +On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully +long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest +than was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they +steal anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed +proudly over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The +farmer appeared in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must +get off his land before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, +prevailed upon him to take a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the +performance so much that he offered to let them stay until the end of +the week. Before that time came there was such a fall of snow that +departure was out of the question; and it is to the farmer's credit +that he sent Sam'l a bag of meal to tide him and his actors over the +storm. +</P> + +<P> +There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where +they slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to +audiences that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the "man's" +castle, the farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad to +see the show. Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a +ploughman, and it was the men from the bothies who filled the square on +the muckly. "Hands" are not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns +more like cattle than men and women, but bothies in the neighbourhood +of Thrums are not yet things of the past. Many a ploughman delves his +way to and from them still in all weathers, when the snow is on the +ground; at the time of "hairst," and when the turnip "shaws" have just +forced themselves through the earth, looking like straight rows of +green needles. Here is a picture of a bothy of to-day that I visited +recently. Over the door there is a waterspout that has given way, and +as I entered I got a rush of rain down my neck. The passage was so +small that one could easily have stepped from the doorway on to the +ladder standing against the wall, which was there in lieu of a +staircase. "Upstairs" was a mere garret, where a man could not stand +erect even in the centre. It was entered by a square hole in the +ceiling, at present closed by a clap-door in no way dissimilar to the +trap-doors on a theatre stage. I climbed into this garret, which is at +present used as a store-room for agricultural odds and ends. At +harvest-time, however, it is inhabited—full to overflowing. A few +decades ago as many as fifty labourers engaged for the harvest had to +be housed in the farm out-houses on beds of straw. There was no help +for it, and men and women had to congregate in these barns together. +Up as early as five in the morning, they were generally dead tired by +night; and, miserable though this system of herding them together was, +they took it like stoics, and their very number served as a moral +safeguard. Nowadays the harvest is gathered in so quickly, and +machinery does so much that used to be done by hand, that this crowding +of labourers together, which was the bothy system at its worst, is +nothing like what it was. As many as six or eight men, however, are +put up in the garret referred to during "hairst"-time, and the female +labourers have to make the best of it in the barn. There is no doubt +that on many farms the two sexes have still at this busy time to herd +together even at night. +</P> + +<P> +The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. +In the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there +was no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy +earthen floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single +bed, was floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small +windows that faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was a +long form against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and +coal—nothing in the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this +combination—burned beneath a big kettle ("boiler" they called it), and +there was a "press" or cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking +utensils. Of these some belonged to the bothy, while others were the +private property of the tenants. A tin "pan" and "pitcher" of water +stood near the door, and the table in the middle of the room was +covered with oilcloth. +</P> + +<P> +Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them +all indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening +at the game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish +ploughmen. They fish the neighbouring streams, too, and have +burn-trout for supper several times a week. When I entered, two of +them were sitting by the fire playing draughts, or, as they called it, +"the dam-brod." The dam-brod is the Scottish labourer's billiards; and +he often attains to a remarkable proficiency at the game. Wylie, the +champion draught-player, was once a herd-boy; and wonderful stories are +current in all bothies of the times when his master called him into the +farm-parlour to show his skill. A third man, who seemed the elder by +quite twenty years, was at the window reading a newspaper; and I got no +shock when I saw that it was the <I>Saturday Review</I>, which he and a +labourer on an adjoining farm took in weekly between them. There was a +copy of a local newspaper—the <I>People's Journal</I>—also lying about, +and some books, including one of Darwin's. These were all the property +of this man, however, who did the reading for the bothy. +</P> + +<P> +They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In +the old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so +universally the morning meal that they called it by that name instead +of breakfast. They still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea +"above it." Generally milk is taken with the porridge; but "porter" or +stout in a bowl is no uncommon substitute. Potatoes at twelve +o'clock—seldom "brose" nowadays—are the staple dinner dish, and the +tinned meats have become very popular. There are bothies where each +man makes his own food; but of course the more satisfactory plan is for +them to club together. Sometimes they get their food in the +farm-kitchen; but this is only when there are few of them and the +farmer and his family do not think it beneath them to dine with the +men. Broth, too, may be made in the kitchen and sent down to the +bothy. At harvest-time the workers take their food in the fields, when +great quantities of milk are provided. There is very little beer +drunk, and whisky is only consumed in privacy. +</P> + +<P> +Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the +schoolhouse, for the hands have at least each other's company. The +hawker visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once +a familiar figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of +congregating is still some country smiddy, which is also their frequent +meeting-place when bent on black-fishing. The flare of the +black-fisher's torch still attracts salmon to their death in the rivers +near Thrums; and you may hear in the glens on a dark night the rattle +of the spears on the wet stones. Twenty or thirty years ago, however, +the sport was much more common. After the farmer had gone to bed, some +half-dozen ploughmen and a few other poachers from Thrums would set out +for the meeting-place. +</P> + +<P> +The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one +did not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness. +into the glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might +sometimes be heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, +every face was blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the +fact that dark nights were chosen that gave the gangs the name of +black-fishers. Other disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest +being to change clothes or to turn your corduroys outside in. The +country-folk of those days were more superstitious than they are now, +and it did not take much to turn the black-fishers back. There was not +a barn or byre in the district that had not its horseshoe over the +door. Another popular device for frightening away witches and fairies +was to hang bunches of garlic about the farms. I have known a +black-fishing expedition stopped because a "yellow yite," or +yellowhammer, hovered round the gang when they were setting out. Still +more ominous was the "peat" when it appeared with one or three +companions. An old rhyme about this bird runs—"One is joy, two is +grief, three's a bridal, four is death." Such snatches of superstition +are still to be heard amidst the gossip of a north-country smithy. +</P> + +<P> +Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less +home-made. The spears were in many cases "gully-knives," fastened to +staves with twine and resin, called "rozet." The torches were very +rough-and-ready things—rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from +broken trees—in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers +seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers +within a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for +this; one of them being that the hands had to be at their work on the +farm by five o'clock in the morning; another, that so they poached and +let poach. Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to +offered no attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, +swell it much more quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of +water; the part of it affected by the black-fishers being banked in +with rocks that prevent the water's spreading. Above these rocks, +again, are heavy green banks, from which stunted trees grow aslant +across the river. The effect is fearsome at some points where the +trees run into each other, as it were, from opposite banks. However, +the black-fishers thought nothing of these things. They took a turnip +lantern with them—that is, a lantern hollowed out of a turnip, with a +piece of candle inside—but no lights were shown on the road. Every +one knew his way to the river blindfold; so that the darker the night +the better. On reaching the water there was a pause. One or two of +the gang climbed the banks to discover if any bailiffs were on the +watch; while the others sat down, and with the help of the turnip +lantern "busked" their spears; in other words, fastened on the +steel—or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened into a +point at home—to the staves. Some had them busked before they set +out, but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was +always a risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears +would tell a tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. +Nevertheless little time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into +the water, torch in one hand and spear in the other; and the object now +was to catch some salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. +Windy nights were good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit +up with the lumps of light that a torch makes in a high wind. The +torches, of course, were used to attract the fish, which came swimming +to the sheen, and were then speared. As little noise as possible was +made; but though the men bit their lips instead of crying out when they +missed their fish, there was a continuous ring of their weapons on the +stones, and every irrepressible imprecation was echoed up and down the +black glen. Two or three of the gang were told off to land the salmon, +and they had to work smartly and deftly. They kept by the side of the +spearsman, and the moment he struck a fish they grabbed at it with +their hands. When the spear had a barb there was less chance of the +fish's being lost; but often this was not the case, and probably not +more than two-thirds of the salmon speared were got safely to the bank. +The takes of course varied; sometimes, indeed, the black-fishers +returned home empty-handed. +</P> + +<P> +Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom +took place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the +act, and had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were +ugly customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles +even took place in the water, when there was always a chance of +somebody's being drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an +opportunity of escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the +booty being left behind. As a rule, when the "water-watchers," as the +bailiffs were sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take +place, they reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on +the road to catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a +noted character, was nicknamed the "Deil o' Glen Quharity." He was +said to have gone to the houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell +them the fish stolen from the streams over which they kept guard. The +"Deil" was never imprisoned—partly, perhaps, because he was too +eccentric to be taken seriously. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap03"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER III +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE AULD LICHT KIRK +</H3> + +<P> +One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister +at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk +with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it +were: "Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the +Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons will +answer for this on the Day of Judgment." The congregation, which +belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred +and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U. P.'s) +were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head, +had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open +air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession, +however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a +cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal to +a dozen ordinary church-goers, and there have been men and women among +them on whom the memory loves to linger. For forty years they have +been dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of +David, and, the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one +member and a minister. +</P> + +<P> +The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large +door to distinguish it from the other building in the short street. +Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, +when there is no one near, and then run away scared. The door, +however, is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so +long ago, used to march out of the kirk and remain on the pavement +until the psalm which had just been given out was sung. Of Thrums's +pavement it may here be said that when you come, even to this day, to a +level slab you feel reluctant to leave it. The old lady was Mistress +(which is Miss) Tibbie McQuhatty, and she nearly split the Auld Licht +kirk over "run line." This conspicuous innovation was introduced by +Mr. Dishart, the minister, when he was young and audacious. The old, +reverent custom in the kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm +a line at a time. Having then sung that line he read out the next one, +led the singing of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where +run line holds, however, the psalm is read out first, and forthwith +sung. This is not only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead +to greater scandals, but has its practical disadvantages, for the +precentor always starts singing in advance of the congregation (Auld +Lichts never being able to begin to do anything all at once), and, +increasing the distance with every line, leaves them hopelessly behind +at the finish. Miss McQuhatty protested against this change, as +meeting the devil halfway, but the minister carried his point, and ever +after that she rushed ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm +was given out, and remained behind the door until the singing was +finished, when she returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had +on her the effect of the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, +capable of anything, held the door from the outside, and the +congregation heard Tibbie rampaging in the passage. Bursting into the +kirk she called the office-bearers to her assistance, whereupon the +minister in miniature raised his voice and demanded the why and +wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the hubbub, but the +door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. The old lady +consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without pressing +her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know what +she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had gone +from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. +</P> + +<P> +As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the +Auld Licht one much too large. The stair to the "laft" or gallery, +which was originally little more than a ladder, is ready for you as +soon as you enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the +kirk. The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the +whole congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is +something very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a +few hours; indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially +perhaps of the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because +so many halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights +the Thrums shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all +denominations, who would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit +into the plate as of giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of +tipping his penny into the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his +hand to his side. He did it much as a boy fires a marble, and there +was quite a talk in the congregation the first time he missed. A +devout plan was to carry your penny in your hand all the way to church, +but to appear to take it out of your pocket on entering, and some +plumped it down noisily like men paying their way. I believe old +Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but obstinate, once dropped a +penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny as change, but the only +untoward thing that happened to the plate was once when the lassie from +the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing. Mr. Dishart, who was +always a ready man, introduced something into his sermon that day about +women's dress, which every one hoped Chirsty Lundy, the lassie in +question, would remember. Nevertheless, the minister sometimes came to +a sudden stop himself when passing from the vestry to the pulpit. The +passage being narrow, his rigging would catch in a pew as he sailed +down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart remembered that he was +not as other men. +</P> + +<P> +White is not a religious colour, and the walls of the kirk were of a +dull grey. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a +symbol of office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a +door. It was and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's +right, and one day it contained a bonnet which Mr. Dishart's +predecessor preached at for one hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, +which was swaddled in black, the minister had a fine sweep of all the +congregation except those in the back pews downstairs, who were lost in +the shadow of the laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so called because, +having an inexplicable passion against them, he devoted his life to the +extermination of whins. Whinny for years ate peppermint lozenges with +impunity in his back seat, safe in the certainty that the minister, +however much he might try, could not possibly see him. But his day +came. One afternoon the kirk smelt of peppermints, and Mr. Dishart +could rebuke no one, for the defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's +cheek was working up and down in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when +he started, noticing that the preaching had stopped. Then he heard a +sepulchral voice say "Charles Webster!" Whinny's eyes turned to the +pulpit, only part of which was visible to him, and to his horror they +encountered the minister's head coming down the stairs. This took +place after I had ceased to attend the Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I +am told that as Whinny gave one wild scream the peppermint dropped from +his mouth. The minister had got him by leaning over the pulpit door +until, had he given himself only another inch, his feet would have gone +into the air. As for Whinny he became a Godfearing man. +</P> + +<P> +The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath +the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only +conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas's box was much too small for him. +Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the +compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man—no doubt with the feeling +that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole +congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers—the first +of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head +and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed +decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He +looked like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his +head like a baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as +he could, and then, with his long lean arms dangling over the side of +his box, he might have been a suit of "blacks" hung up to dry. Once I +was talking with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all +at once a light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was +laughing at, and he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again +when I asked him what there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and +admitted that he could not tell me. However, I have always been of +opinion that the thought of the precentor in his box gave Cree a +fleeting sense of humour. +</P> + +<P> +Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, +Hendry being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they +had in common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, +shoemaker being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also +his workshop. There he sat in his "brot," or apron, from early morning +to far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings +a week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his "cruizey" +lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of "ay, ay, yes, +umpha, oh ay, ay man," came as regularly and monotonously as the tick +of his "wag-at-the-wa'" clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum +for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a +collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the +only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. +He was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the +minister looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that +Hendry once offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets +Lang Tammas was more stern and dreaded by evildoers, but Hendry had +first place in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister +from the session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having +shut Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange +minister preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. +This will not be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on +these occasions a fling-to with his feet. However ill an ordinary +member of the congregation might become in the kirk, he sat on till the +service ended, but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he +noticed that the wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages of +Bibles, and proof could still be brought forward that he would stop +deliberately in the aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, that had +floated there. After the first psalm had been sung it was Hendry's +part to lift up the plate and carry its tinkling contents to the +session-house. On the greatest occasions he remained so calm, so +indifferent, so expressionless, that he might have been present the +night before at a rehearsal. +</P> + +<P> +When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, +which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles +stood on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the +church, some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some +merely sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended +the lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled through the church +to snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do anything except +snuff a candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to do that he as +often as not knocked the candle over. In vain he sought to refix it in +its proper place, and then all eyes turned to Hendry. As coolly as +though he were in a public hall or place of entertainment, the +kirk-officer arose and, mounting the stair, took the candle from the +minister's reluctant hands and put it right. Then he returned to his +seat, not apparently puffed up, yet perhaps satisfied with himself; +while Mr. Dishart, glaring after him to see if he was carrying his head +high, resumed his wordy way. +</P> + +<P> +Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie +Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast-table. Lang +Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights +on his manse wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives +grumbled by their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their +salvation. He told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol +of him. His session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation +with a strange woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a +wife. Twenty were his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very +first Sabbath he knocked a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning +his trial sermon he handed down the big Bible to the precentor, to give +his arms freer swing. The congregation, trembling with exhilaration, +probed his meaning. Not a square inch of paper, they saw, could be +concealed there. Mr. Dishart had scarcely any hope for the Auld +Lichts; he had none for any other denomination. Davit Lunan got behind +his handkerchief to think for a moment, and the minister was on him +like a tiger. The call was unanimous. Davit proposed him. +</P> + +<P> +Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and +burled its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets +inside out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene +was not an amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld +Lichts was then the humiliation of seeing their pulpit "supplied" on +alternate Sabbaths by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers. +When they were not starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld +Lichts were saving up for a stipend. They retired with compressed lips +to their looms, and weaved and weaved till they weaved another +minister. Without the grief of parting with one minister there could +not have been the transport of choosing another. To have had a pastor +always might have made them vainglorious. +</P> + +<P> +They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and +in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a +monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out +of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried +before Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, +he found favour in many eyes. "Sluggard in the laft, awake!" he cried +to Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there +must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on +Communion Sabbath. +</P> + +<P> +On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was +sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the +commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, +but only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons +intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On +this day the attendance was always very great. +</P> + +<P> +It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a +wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this +the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld +Licht bell. With slow majestic tread the session advanced up the steep +common with the little minister in their midst. He had the people in +his hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better they were +pleased. The travelling pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one +for the minister and the other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht +thought that it looked like a Punch and Judy puppet show. This service +on the common was known as the "tent preaching," owing to a tent's +being frequently used instead of the box. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, +still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which +the common climbs, and the laboured "pechs" of the listeners rose the +preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must +have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and +knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they +could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no +prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he +was in his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. +Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at the +pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the +congregation, who felt it as a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, +feeling himself all at once grow clammy, distinctly heard the leaves of +the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts's hands, outstretched to prevent a +catastrophe, were blown against his side, and then some twenty sheets +of closely-written paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, +dead silence. The burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can +be called, shrunk back in his box, and, as if they had seen it printed +in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. +Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He +wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not +scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a +sullen thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a +rage, and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts +was found out. To follow a pastor who "read" seemed to the Auld Lichts +like claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session +alone, with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were +watched by many from afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) +looked a little curious jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning +papers still fluttering in the air. The minister was never seen in our +parts again, but he is still remembered as "Paper Watts." +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he +had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was +practising the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From +distant congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more +than comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk +at Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under weigh with +his sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In +a grand transport of enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit +and caught Lang Tammas on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his +chest on the cushions, he would pommel the Evil One with both hands, +and then, whirling round to the left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's +neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy +catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would +leap three times in the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a +fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed +in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit +rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump +position was the most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his +admiring listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm +upraised. The hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under +the shadow of the windmill—which would have been heavier had Auld +Licht ministers worn gowns—but the pump affected her to tears. She +was stone-deaf. +</P> + +<P> +For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was a +mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for +unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. +Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave +his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, +and settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking +heresy allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed +pulpits with another minister that they cocked their ears and leant +forward eagerly to snap the preacher up. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, that +comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in +marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through +the medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; +for a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty +pounds per annum, seemed an anomaly, when one day he took the canal for +Edinburgh and returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, +but said nothing to the minister. If he did not choose to take them +into his confidence, it was no affair of theirs. That there was +something queer about the marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy +Whamond, who was a soured man after losing his eldership, said that he +believed she had been an "Englishy"—in other words, had belonged to +the English Church; but it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have +gone the length of that. The secret is buried in his grave. Easie +Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with years, +and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the +conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a +chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts +loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the +necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's +clothes, but Sanders Gow complained that she looked too like their +sister. In one week three of the children died, and on the Sabbath +following it rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice breaking down +altogether and gaping strangely round the kirk (there was no dust +flying that day), and spoke of the rain as angels' tears for three +little girls. The Auld Lichts let it pass, but, as Lang Tammas said in +private (for, of course, the thing was much discussed at the looms), if +you materialize angels in that way, where are you going to stop? +</P> + +<P> +It was on the Fast Days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was +capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far +behind. The Fast came round once every summer, beginning on a +Thursday, when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in +the kirk of about three hours' length each. A minister from another +town assisted at these times, and when the service ended the members +filed in at one door and out at another, passing on their way Mr. +Dishart and his elders, who dispensed "tokens" at the foot of the +pulpit. Without a token, which was a metal lozenge, no one could take +the sacrament on the coming Sabbath, and many a member has Mr. Dishart +made miserable by refusing him his token for gathering wild flowers, +say, on a Lord's Day (as testified to by another member). Women were +lost who cooked dinners on the Sabbath, or took to coloured ribbons, or +absented themselves from church without sufficient cause. On the Fast +Day fists were shaken at Mr. Dishart as he walked sternly homewards, +but he was undismayed. Next day there were no services in the kirk, +for Auld Lichts could not afford many holidays, but they weaved +solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath and Monday to think of. On +Saturday service began at two and lasted until nearly seven. Two +sermons were preached, but there was no interval. The sacrament was +dispensed on the Sabbath. Nowadays the "tables" in the Auld Licht kirk +are soon "served," for the attendance has decayed, and most of the pews +in the body of the church are made use of. In the days of which I +speak, however, the front pews alone were hung with white, and it was +in them only that the sacrament was administered. As many members as +could get into them delivered up their tokens and took the first table. +Then they made room for others, who sat in their pews awaiting their +turn. What with tables, the preaching, and unusually long prayers, the +service lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six a two hours' +service began, either in the kirk or on the common, from which no one +who thought much about his immortal soul would have dared (or cared) to +absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, which, like that +of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but began at eleven +instead of two, completed the programme. +</P> + +<P> +On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge +it, you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but +the creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was +a keen competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, +and be in at the death. +</P> + +<P> +The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not +with the same vehemence. As far north from the schoolhouse as Thrums +is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the +Fast Day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go +many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked +in from other glens. Without "the tents," therefore, the congregation, +with a long day before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one +tent sufficed; at other times rival publicans were on the ground. The +tents were those in use at the feeing and other markets, and you could +get anything inside them, from broth made in a "boiler" to the fieriest +whisky. They were planted just outside the kirk-gate—long, low tents +of dirty white canvas—so that when passing into the church or out of +it you inhaled their odours. The congregation emerged austerely from +the church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, +and their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no +unseemly revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking. +Eventually the tents were done away with, but not until the services on +the Fast Days were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the only +ones who preached against the tents with any heart, and since the old +dominie, my predecessor at the schoolhouse, died, there has not been an +Auld Licht permanently resident in the glen of Quharity. +</P> + +<P> +Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a +christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more +especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could tell +of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for +instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of +temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath day, +despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the +post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there received, +when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him, snatched +the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that ran like +fire through Thrums and crushed an innocent man to the effect that Pete +Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing the play-actors. +Something could be made, too, of the retribution that came to Chairlie +Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that its other occupant, his +little son Jamie, was standing on the seat divesting himself of his +clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. Jamie had begun +stealthily, and had very little on when Chairlie seized him. But +having my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one—the unique +case of Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and baptized +in the kirk on the following forenoon. +</P> + +<P> +To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were +returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling +down the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught +me that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would +have borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's +wanting the baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I +shudder to think of the public prayers for the parents that would +certainly have followed. The child was carried to the kirk through +rain, or snow, or sleet, or wind, the father took his seat alone in the +front pew, under the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far +on into the afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that +unhappy object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his +time had not really come until the minister signed to him to advance as +far as the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father +clenched the railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial +heckling. From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from +exhortation to admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, +from questioning to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, +there was the radiant boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to +jump down his throat. If he hung his head the minister would ask, with +a groan, whether he was unprepared; and the whole congregation would +sigh out the response that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied +audibly to the minister's uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his +flippancy travelled from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he +only bowed his head in answer, the minister paused sternly, and the +congregation wondered what the man meant. Little wonder that Davie +Haggart took to drinking when his turn came for occupying that front +pew. +</P> + +<P> +If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of +the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's +virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy +Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but +wifely pride in her husband's official position that turned Bell +Dundas's head—a wild ambition to beat all baptismal record. +</P> + +<P> +Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see +the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years +ago it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of +children who had died before they were baptized went wailing and +wringing their hands round the kirkyard at nights, and that they would +continue to do this until the crack of doom. When the Auld Licht +children grew up, too, they crowed over those of their fellows whose +christening had been deferred until a comparatively late date, and the +mothers who had needlessly missed a Sabbath for long afterwards hung +their heads. That was a good and creditable birth which took place +early in the week, thus allowing time for suitable christening +preparations; while to be born on a Friday or a Saturday was to +humiliate your parents, besides being an extremely ominous beginning +for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate Bell Dundas's behaviour, I +may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that being the leading +elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her appearance at +9.45 on a Saturday night. +</P> + +<P> +In the hurry and scurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. +His infant would be baptized eight days old, one of the +longest-deferred christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under +the clock when I met him accidentally, and took him home. But by that +time the harm had been done. Several of the congregation had been +roused from their beds to hear his lamentations, of whom the men +sympathized with him, while the wives triumphed austerely over Bell +Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's hand, I hardly noticed that a bright +light showed distinctly between the shutters of his kitchen-window; but +the elder himself turned pale and breathed quickly. It was then +fourteen minutes past twelve. +</P> + +<P> +My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond +walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare +of eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went +round the church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried +whisperings. Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own +judgment. The scene is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting +no guile, and omitting the admonitory stage out of compliment to the +elder's standing; Sandy's ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged +twelve) with the squalling baby in her arms; the horror of the +congregation to a man and woman. A slate fell from Sandy's house even +as he held up the babe to the minister to receive a "droukin'" of +water, and Eppie cried so vigorously that her shamed godmother had to +rush with her to the vestry. Now things are not as they should be when +an Auld Licht infant does not quietly sit out her first service. +</P> + +<P> +Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to +whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon +passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born within +two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for +christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. +Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all might have +been well; but Betsy Munn's evidence was irrefutable. Great had been +Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing the house on the +eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open +the door and creep cautiously to the window, the chinks in the outside +shutters of which she cunningly closed up with "tow." As in a flash +the disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, and, removing the tow, +planted herself behind the dilapidated dyke opposite, and awaited +events. Questioned at a special meeting of the office-bearers in the +vestry, she admitted that the lamp was extinguished soon after twelve +o'clock, though the fire burned brightly all night. There had been +unnecessary feasting during the night, and six eggs were consumed +before breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted having +counted the egg-shells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the +morning. This, with the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had +sought condolence on the Saturday night, was the case for the +prosecution. For the defence, Bell maintained that all preparations +stopped when the clock struck twelve, and even hinted that the bairn +had been born on Saturday afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his +had got a fall. In the forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister +preached from the text, "Be sure your sin will find you out;" and in +the afternoon from "Pride goeth before a fall." He was grand. In the +evening Sandy tendered his resignation of office, which was at once +accepted. Wobs were behindhand for a week owing to the length of the +prayers offered up for Bell; and Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap04"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IV +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +LADS AND LASSES +</H3> + +<P> +With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on +Saturday evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie +Haggart had strolled into the village from his pile of stones on the +Whunny road; Hendry Robb, the "dummy," had sold his last barrowful of +"rozetty (resiny) roots" for firewood; and the people, having +tranquilly supped and soused their faces in their water-pails, slowly +donned their Sunday clothes. This ceremony was common to all; but here +divergence set in. The grey Auld Licht, to whom love was not even a +name, sat in his high-backed arm-chair by the hearth, Bible or +"Pilgrim's Progress" in hand, occasionally lapsing into slumber. +But—though, when they got the chance, they went willingly three times +to the kirk—there were young men in the community so flighty that, +instead of dozing at home on Saturday night, they dandered casually +into the square, and, forming into knots at the corners, talked +solemnly and mysteriously of women. +</P> + +<P> +Not even on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht ever +known to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at +street-corners came to an end at a comparatively early hour, one +Coelebs after another shuffling silently from the square until it +echoed, deserted, to the town-house clock. The last of the gallants, +gradually discovering that he was alone, would look around him +musingly, and, taking in the situation, slowly wend his way home. On +no other night of the week was frivolous talk about the softer sex +indulged in, the Auld Lichts being creatures of habit who never thought +of smiling on a Monday. Long before they reached their teens they were +earning their keep as herds in the surrounding glens or filling "pirns" +for their parents; but they were generally on the brink of twenty +before they thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they only +trifled with the other sex's affections at a distance—filling a maid's +water-pails, perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; at +the recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially +on Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well +as to be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, +and there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids +of skill and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage +seldom loitered in the streets. By and by there came a time when the +clock looked down through its cracked glass upon the hemmed in square +and saw him not. His companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt +that something was going on, but made no remark. +</P> + +<P> +A month ago, passing through the shabby familiar square, I brushed +against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of +yarn. It was piled on a wheelbarrow which his feeble hands could not +have raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his +shoulders; and though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did +not immediately recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy +weaver and fervent lover whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn +back the century a few decades, and we are together on a moonlight +night, taking a short cut through the fields from the farm of +Craigiebuckle. Buxom were Craigiebuckle's "dochters," and Jamie was +Janet's accepted suitor. It was a muddy road through damp grass, and +we picked our way silently over its ruts and pools. "I'm thinkin'," +Jamie said at last, a little wistfully, "that I micht hae been as weel +wi' Chirsty." Chirsty was Janet's sister, and Jamie had first thought +of her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly advised him to take Janet +instead, and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs have taken all the grace +from Janet's shoulders this many a year, though she and Jamie go +bravely down the hill together. Unless they pass the allotted span of +life, the "poorshouse" will never know them. As for bonny Chirsty, she +proved a flighty thing, and married a deacon in the Established Church. +The Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle hung his head, and +the minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few weeks +afterwards Lang Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with her +for an hour in Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty pushed +her husband in triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though +completely taken by surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a +prayer of great length, as a brand that might yet be plucked from the +burning. Changing his text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the +precentor, and the whole congregation (Chirsty included), sang at him; +and before he exactly realized his position he had become an Auld Licht +for life. Chirsty's triumph was complete when, next week, in broad +daylight, too, the minister's wife called, and (in the presence of +Betsy Munn, who vouches for the truth of the story) graciously asked +her to come up to the manse on Thursday, at 4 p. m., and drink a dish +of tea. Chirsty, who knew her position, of course begged modestly to +be excused; but a coolness arose over the invitation between her and +Janet—who felt slighted—that was only made up at the laying-out of +Chirsty's father-in-law, to which Janet was pleasantly invited. +</P> + +<P> +When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the +gloaming at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting +stockings. To them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a "Blawy nicht, +Jeanie" (to which the inevitable answer was, "It is so, Cha-rles"), +rested their shoulders on the doorpost, and silently followed with +their eyes the flashing needles. Thus the courtship began—often to +ripen promptly into marriage, at other times to go no further. The +smooth-haired maids, neat in their simple wrappers, knew they were on +their trial and that it behoved them to be wary. They had not +compassed twenty winters without knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie +Haggart because she "fittit" a black stocking with brown worsted, and +that Finny's grieve turned from Bell Whamond on account of the +frivolous flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's prospects, as I happen +to know, at one time looked bright and promising. Sitting over her +father's peat-fire one night gossiping with him about fishing-flies and +tackle, I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by appointment with +some ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin hen was to sit, performing +some sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he jerked +and twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) +gradually appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of +the maid of his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much +relieved. Had not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve +would have soon followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some +night Bell would have "seen him to the door," and they would have +stared sheepishly at each other before saying good-night. The parting +salutation given, the grieve would still have stood his ground, and +Bell would have waited with him. At last, "Will ye hae's, Bell?" would +have dropped from his half-reluctant lips; and Bell would have mumbled +"Ay," with her thumb in her mouth. "Guid nicht to ye, Bell," would be +the next remark—"Guid nicht to ye, Jeames," the answer; the humble +door would close softly, and Bell and her lad would have been engaged. +But, as it was, their attachment never got beyond the silhouette stage, +from which, in the ethics of the Auld Lichts, a man can draw back in +certain circumstances, without loss of honour. The only really tender +thing I ever heard an Auld Licht lover say to his sweetheart was when +Gowrie's brother looked softly into Easie Tamson's eyes and whispered, +"Do you swite (sweat)?" Even then the effect was produced more by the +loving cast in Gowrie's eye than by the tenderness of the words +themselves. +</P> + +<P> +The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the +young man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not +wanting in which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to +be told of it. +</P> + +<P> +There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did +not take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his +two coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting +married early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, +Jamie. The foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing +Bell Whamond took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that +Friday was an unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was +always great in a crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing +the conclusive fact that he had been married on the sixth day of the +week himself. It was a judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take +vigorous action at once and insist on the solemnization of the marriage +on a Friday or not at all, for he best kept superstition out of the +congregation by branding it as heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were +only ignorant of the grieve's lass's theory because they had not +thought of it. Friday's claims, too, were incontrovertible; for the +Saturday's being a slack day gave the couple an opportunity to put +their but and ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a gay day of it, +three times at the kirk. The honeymoon over, the racket of the loom +began again on the Monday. +</P> + +<P> +The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to +Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry +afternoon with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his +Sabbath clothes peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at +the door. Andra forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; +but Jess frowned him into silence, and hastily donning her black mutch, +received Willie on the threshold. Both halves of the door were open, +and the visitor had looked us over carefully before knocking; but he +had come with the compliments of Tibbie's mother, requesting the +pleasure of Jess and her man that evening to the lassie's marriage with +Sam'l Todd, and the knocking at the door was part of the ceremony. +Five minutes afterwards Joey returned to beg a moment of me in the +passage; when I, too, got my invitation. The lad had just received, +with an expression of polite surprise, though he knew he could claim it +as his right, a slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his staid +departure, when Jess cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking +simply that it was a mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We +then retired to dress. +</P> + +<P> +About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my +way through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that +already besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of "Toss, toss!" +rent the air every time Jess's head showed on the window-blind, and +Andra hoped, as I pushed open the door, "that I hadna forgotten my +bawbees." Weddings were celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of +ha'pence, and the guests on their way to the bride's house had to +scatter to the hungry rabble like housewives feeding poultry. Willie +Todd, the best man, who had never come out so strong in his life +before, slipped through the back window, while the crowd, led on by +Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and making a bolt for it to the +"'Sosh," was back in a moment with a handful of small change. "Dinna +toss ower lavishly at first," the smith whispered me nervously, as we +followed Jess and Willie into the darkening wynd. +</P> + +<P> +The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's "room:" the +men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be +standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling +noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then +to let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more +water to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy +of the face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to +do but politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised +arms, over what was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the +door her "spleet new" merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, +over her home-made petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and +rose as promptly when she returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of +admiration that filled the room when she entered with the minister was +an involuntary tribute to the spotlessness of her wrapper and a great +triumph for Janet. If there is an impression that the dress of the +Auld Lichts was on all occasions as sombre as their faces, let it be +known that the bride was but one of several in "whites," and that Mag +Munn had only at the last moment been dissuaded from wearing flowers. +The minister, the Auld Lichts congratulated themselves, disapproved of +all such decking of the person and bowing of the head to idols; but on +such an occasion he was not expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, +however, has reason for knowing that, marriages or no marriages, he +drew the line at curls. +</P> + +<P> +By and by Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the +middle of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice +in prayer. All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the +bridegroom's, which seemed glazed and vacant. It was an open question +in the community whether Mr. Dishart did not miss his chance at +weddings; the men shaking their heads over the comparative brevity of +the ceremony, the women worshipping him (though he never hesitated to +rebuke them when they showed it too openly) for the urbanity of his +manners. At that time, however, only a minister of such experience as +Mr. Dishart's predecessor could lead up to a marriage in prayer without +inadvertently joining the couple; and the catechizing was mercifully +brief. Another prayer followed the union; the minister waived his +right to kiss the bride; every one looked at every other one, as if he +had for the moment forgotten what he was on the point of saying and +found it very annoying; and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, +who nodded intelligently in reply, but evidently had no idea what she +meant. In time Johnny Allardice, our host, who became more and more +doited as the night proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the +way to the kitchen, where the guests, having politely informed their +hostess that they were not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. +Dishart presided with the bride and bridegroom near him; but though he +tried to give an agreeable turn to the conversation by describing the +extensions at the cemetery, his personality oppressed us, and we only +breathed freely when he rose to go. Yet we marvelled at his +versatility. In shaking hands with the newly-married couple the +minister reminded them that it was leap-year, and wished them "three +hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing days." +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny +wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a +couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation +from which the Auld Lichts sprung than the penny wedding, where the +only revellers that were not out of pocket by it, were the couple who +gave the entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, +pecuniarily, for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny +wedding (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different +districts, but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny +extra to the fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony +having been gone through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment +to a barn or other convenient place of meeting, where was held the +nuptial feast; long white boards from Rob Angus's sawmill, supported on +trestles, stood in lieu of tables; and those of the company who could +not find a seat waited patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The +shilling gave every guest the free run of the groaning board, but +though fowls were plentiful, and even white bread too, little had been +spent on them. The farmers of the neighbourhood, who looked forward to +providing the young people with drills of potatoes for the coming +winter, made a bid for their custom by sending them a fowl gratis for +the marriage supper. It was popularly understood to be the oldest cock +of the farmyard, but for all that it made a brave appearance in a +shallow sea of soup. The fowls were always boiled—without exception, +so far as my memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the heart to +roast them, and so lose the broth. One round of whisky-and-water was +all the drink to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted +more he had to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and +dance, that no stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers +capable of; and the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the +more their host smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar +improvised for the occasion, and if the thing was conducted with +spirit, his bride flung an apron over her gown and helped him. I +remember one elderly bridegroom, who, having married a blind woman, had +to do double work at his penny wedding. It was a sight to see him +flitting about the torch-lit barn, with a kettle of hot water in one +hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in the other. +</P> + +<P> +Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at +his marriage. +</P> + +<P> +Wedding chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts +being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The +tea over, we formed in couples, and—the best man with the bride, the +bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way—marched in slow +procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines +of hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant +musician to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, +even in the streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the +minister had spoken privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a +consequence, Peter was driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw +that night, as we filed, bare-headed and solemn, into the newly-married +couple's house, was Kitty McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled +sleeve, pounding a pair of urchins who had got between her and a muddy +ha'penny. +</P> + +<P> +That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld +Lichts took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit +Lunan cracked a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas's +request, gave a song of distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who +had carefully taken off her wedding gown on getting home and donned a +wrapper) coquettishly let the bridegroom's father hold her hand. In +Auld Licht circles, when one of the company was offered whisky and +refused it, the others, as if pained even at the offer, pushed it from +them as a thing abhorred. But Davie Haggart set another example on +this occasion, and no one had the courage to refuse to follow it. We +sat late round the dying fire, and it was only Willie Todd's scandalous +assertion (he was but a boy) about his being able to dance that induced +us to think of moving. In the community, I understand, this marriage +is still memorable as the occasion on which Bell Whamond laughed in the +minister's face. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap05"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER V +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS +</H3> + +<P> +Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed +with a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind; Neil Haggart, +pausing in his thanks-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe +scudding up the bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing +heels; the minister holding it a nice question whether the carnage was +not justified. Then came the two hours' sermons of the following +Sabbath, when Mr. Dishart, revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, +damned every bandaged person present, individually and collectively; +and Lang Tammas, in the precentor's box with a plaster on his cheek, +included any one the minister might have by chance omitted, and the +congregation, with most of their eyes bunged up, burst into psalms of +praise. +</P> + +<P> +Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the Fast +Day at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding reverently +to the kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens of scores +on our God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then did the +weavers rise as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew the +errors of their way. All denominations were represented, but Auld +Lichts led. An Auld Licht would have taken no man's blood without the +conviction that he would be the better morally for the bleeding; and if +Tammas Lunan's case gave an impetus to the blows, it can only have been +because it opened wider Auld Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate +condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor more than once remarked, that at +the Creation the devil put forward a claim for Thrums, but said he +would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the statement was generally +understood to be made on the authority of the original Hebrew. +</P> + +<P> +The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall +tree in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup +at Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours +afterwards a small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white +poles, stepped out of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn +way to the house of mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them +dejectedly, as one oppressed by the knowledge that her man's death at +such an inopportune place did not fulfil the promise of his youth; and +her guests admitted bluntly that they were disappointed in Tammas. +Snecky Hobart's father's unusually long and impressive prayer was an +official intimation that the deceased, in the opinion of the session, +sorely needed everything of the kind he could get; and then the silent +driblet of Auld Lichts in black stalked off in the direction of +Tilliedrum. Women left their spinning-wheels and pirns to follow them +with their eyes along the Tenements, and the minister was known to be +holding an extra service at the manse. When the little procession +reached the boundary-line between the two parishes, they sat down on a +dyke and waited. +</P> + +<P> +By and by half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, +bearing on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The +coffin was brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and +then roughly lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on +their poles. In conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own +parish they were only conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum +differed as to where the boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would +either advance into the other's territory. For half a day the coffin +lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat scowling at each other. Neither +dared move. Gloaming had stolen into the valley when Dite Deuchars of +Tilliedrum rose to his feet and deliberately spat upon the coffin. A +stone whizzed through the air; and then the ugly spectacle was +presented, in the grey night, of a dozen mutes fighting with their +poles over a coffin. There was blood on the shoulders that bore +Tammas's remains to Thrums. +</P> + +<P> +After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the Fast Day. Never, perhaps, +was there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt "called" to +its chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited +their weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did they +put much fervour into their prayers. It made new men of them. +Tilliedrum's sins had found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish +of Thrums, but he had been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked +Providence for that, when it saw him suspended between two hams from +his kitchen rafters. The custom was to cart suicides to the quarry at +the Galla pond and bury them near the cairn that had supported the +gallows; but on this occasion not a farmer in the parish would lend a +cart, and for a week the corpse lay on the sanded floor as it had been +cut down—an object of awe-struck interest to boys who knew no better +than to peep through the darkened window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at +home. The Auld Licht minister, it was said, had been approached on the +subject; but, after serious consideration, did not see his way to +offering up a prayer. Finally old Hobart and two others tied a rope +round the body, and dragged it from the farm to the cairn, a distance +of four miles. Instead of this incident's humbling Tilliedrum into +attending church, the next Fast Day saw its streets deserted. As for +the Thrums Auld Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented their walking erect +like men who had done their duty. If no prayer was volunteered for +Pitlums before his burial, there was a great deal of psalm-singing +after it. +</P> + +<P> +By early morn on their Fast Day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into +Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of +feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was +to raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to +Tilliedrum if they had done that. The invaders—the men in Aberdeen +blue serge coats, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the +wincey gowns of the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or +tartan—tapped at the windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; +but, with pursed lips, Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an +Auld Licht showed outside his door. The day wore on to noon, and still +ribaldry was master of the wynds. But there was a change inside the +houses. The minister had pulled down his blinds; moody men had left +their looms for stools by the fire; there were rumours of a conflict in +Andra Gowrie's close, from which Kitty McQueen had emerged with her +short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas was going from door to door. The +austere precentor admonished fiery youth to beware of giving way to +passion; and it was a proud day for the Auld Lichts to find their +leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture texts. They bowed their +heads reverently while he thundered forth that those who lived by the +sword would perish by the sword; and when he had finished they took him +ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid recollection of going +the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to see the sticks and the +wrists in coils of wire. +</P> + +<P> +A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than +one draggled youth, in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet +cloth to his nose; and, passing down the Commonty, he would have had to +step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had +departed. Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy +Tosh—a struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly +event; Chirsty Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her +going down before the terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang +Tammas's plasters told a tale. It was in the square that the two +parties, leading their maimed and blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum +thirsting for its opponents' blood, and Thrums humbly accepting the +responsibility of punching the Fast Day breakers into the ways of +rectitude. In the small ill-kept square the invaders, to the number of +about a hundred, were wedged together at its upper end, while the +Thrums people formed in a thick line at the foot. For its inhabitants +the way to Tilliedrum lay through this threatening mass of armed +weavers. No words were bandied between the two forces; the centre of +the square was left open, and nearly every eye was fixed on the +town-house clock. It directed operations and gave the signal to +charge. The moment six o'clock struck, the upper mass broke its bonds +and flung itself on the living barricade. There was a clatter of heads +and sticks, a yelling and a groaning, and then the invaders, bursting +through the opposing ranks, fled for Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae +and up the Braehead they skurried, half a hundred avenging spirits in +pursuit. On the Tilliedrum Fast Day I have tasted blood myself. In +the godless place there is no Auld Licht kirk, but there are two Auld +Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to church every Sabbath, blow or +rain as it lists. They are making their influence felt in Tilliedrum. +</P> + +<P> +The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. +The farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You +have to go over the rim of the cup to reach it. It is low-lying and +uninteresting to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold +and naked through the fields. No human hands reared these boulders, +but they might be looked upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to +rise hurriedly) on the plain of Cabbylatch. +</P> + +<P> +The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly +remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the +country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very +much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began to +forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, +when the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the +farmers, having control of the meal, had the small towns at their +mercy, and they increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and +up, until the famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in +which it was conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, +devoured it in handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, +and for a time, after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to +the square and sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The +money was handed over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth +thinking about, but it seems to have only incensed the farmers the +more; and when they saw that to send their meal to the town was not to +get high prices for it, they laid their heads together and then gave +notice that the people who wanted meal and were able to pay for it must +come to the farms. In Thrums no one who cared to live on porridge and +bannocks had money to satisfy the farmers; but, on the other hand, none +of them grudged going for it, and go they did. They went in numbers +from farm to farm, like bands of hungry rats, and throttled the +opposition they not infrequently encountered. The raging farmers at +last met in council and, noting that they were lusty men and brave, +resolved to march in armed force upon the erring people and burn their +town. Now we come to the Battle of Cabbylatch. +</P> + +<P> +The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of +cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were +not able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they +presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no +cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of +fire-wood. One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; +and by and by a halt was called, when each man bowed his head to +listen. In Thrums, pipe and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. +Scouts rushed in with the news that the farmers were advancing rapidly +upon the town, and soon the streets were clattering with feet. At that +time Thrums had its piper and drummer (the bellman of a later and more +degenerate age); and on this occasion they marched together through the +narrow wynds, firing the blood of haggard men and summoning them to the +square. According to my informant's father, the gathering of these +angry and startled weavers, when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head +and rushed out to join them, was an impressive and solemn spectacle. +That bloodshed was meant there can be no doubt; for starving men do not +see the ludicrous side of things. The difference between the farmers +and the town had resolved itself into an ugly and sullen hate, and the +wealthier townsmen who would have come between the people and the bread +were fiercely pushed aside. There was no nominal leader, but every man +in the ranks meant to fight for himself and his belongings; and they +are said to have sallied out to meet the foe in no disorder. The women +they would fain have left behind them; but these had their own injuries +to redress, and they followed in their husbands' wake carrying bags of +stones. The men, who were of various denominations, were armed with +sticks, blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a moment's +notice; and some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. Dire +silence prevailed among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, and +the curious army moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and +pipe. The enemy was sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch; and here, +while the intending combatants glared at each other, a well-known local +magnate galloped his horse between them and ordered them in the name of +the King to return to their homes. But for the farmers that meant +further depredation at the people's hands, and the townsmen would not +go back to their gloomy homes to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon +stones (the first, it is said, cast by a woman) darkened the air. The +farmers got the word to charge, but their horses, with the best +intentions, did not know the way. There was a stampeding in different +directions, a blind rushing of one frightened steed against another; +and then the townspeople, breaking any ranks they had hitherto managed +to keep, rushed vindictively forward. The struggle at Cabbylatch +itself was not of long duration; for their own horses proved the +farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases where these sagacious +animals took matters into their own ordering and bolted judiciously for +their stables. The day was to Thrums. +</P> + +<P> +Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least +fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron +who pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very +porch with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought +he had left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a +pinch of snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a +terror-stricken cry he leapt once more upon his horse and fled, but not +without leaving his snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. +Meggy has long gone to the kirkyard, but the snuff-mull is still +preserved. +</P> + +<P> +Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were +broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders +were whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons +thinking of taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting +consolation they got was that, some time afterwards, the chief witness +against them, the parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They +said it was evidently the hand of God; but some people looked +suspiciously at them when they said it. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap06"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE OLD DOMINIE +</H3> + +<P> +From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just +fail to catch sight of the red schoolhouse that nestles between two +bare trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved +by Davit Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in +the time when the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of +suicides out, but men who cared to risk the consequences could get the +coffin over the high dyke and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin +broke, as one might say, into the churchyard in this way, Peter having +hanged himself in the Whunny wood when he saw that work he must. The +general feeling among the intimates of the deceased was expressed by +Davit when he said: +</P> + +<P> +"It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid +for's bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it." +</P> + +<P> +The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then +let it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners +were dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top +directing them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith +suddenly into the air. A week afterwards it struck Davit, when in the +act of soldering a hole in Leeby Wheens's flagon (here he branched off +to explain that he had made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was +sister to Tammas Wheens, and married one Baker Robbie, who died of +chicken-pox in his forty-fourth year), that when "up there" he had a +view of Quharity schoolhouse. Davit was as truthful as a man who tells +the same story more than once can be expected to be, and it is far from +a suspicious circumstance that he did not remember seeing the +schoolhouse all at once. In Thrums things only struck them gradually. +The new cemetery, for instance, was only so called because it had been +new once. +</P> + +<P> +In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he +detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, +during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a +little thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his +best work, some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was +reared in its stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed +a domicile for cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he +held despotic sway for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces +slowly in a howe that conceals it from the high road. Even in its best +scholastic days, when it sent barefooted lads to college who helped to +hasten the Disruption, it was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as +Scott's Black Dwarf flung together in a night, with holes in its broken +roof of thatch where the rain trickled through, and never with less +than two of its knotted little window-panes stopped with brown paper. +The twelve or twenty pupils of both sexes who constituted the +attendance sat at the two loose desks, which never fell unless you +leaned on them, with an eye on the corner of the earthen floor where +the worms came out, and on cold days they liked the wind to turn the +peat smoke into the room. One boy, who was supposed to wash it out, +got his education free for keeping the schoolhouse dirty, and the +others paid their way with peats, which they brought in their hands, +just as wealthier school-children carry books, and with pence which the +dominie collected regularly every Monday morning. The attendance on +Monday mornings was often small. +</P> + +<P> +Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in +the old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the +parish school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every +male scholar was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a +shilling to the dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. +The dominie was the master of the sports, assisted by the neighbouring +farmers, some of whom might be elders of the church. Three rounds were +fought. By the end of the first round all the cocks had fought, and +the victors were then pitted against each other. The cocks that +survived the second round were eligible for the third, and the dominie, +besides his shilling, got every cock killed. Sometimes, if all stories +be true, the spectators were fighting with each other before the third +round concluded. +</P> + +<P> +The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a +number of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and +just managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so +in Glen Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition +many of them would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and +his wife, driving home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying +or wheeling his wob to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for +the produce of the hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus +it is that the old school is not the only house in our weary glen +around which gooseberry and currant bushes, once tended by careful +hands, now grow wild. +</P> + +<P> +In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they +are still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's +whitewashed dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that +often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at +times to ford on stilts. +</P> + +<P> +Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by +the school inspector, who appeared in great splendour every year at +Thrums. Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into +a School Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its +head, to condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their +design, saw the Board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who +enjoyed making a mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over +the stilts which were lying on the other side. The Board were thus +unable to send across a spokesman, and after they had harangued the +dominie, who was in the best of tempers, from the wrong side of the +stream, the siege was raised by their returning home, this time with +the minister in the rear. So far as is known this was the only +occasion on which the dominie ever lifted his hat to the minister. He +was the Established Church minister at the top of the glen, but the +dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into Thrums to church nearly +every Sunday with his daughter. +</P> + +<P> +The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from +one window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was +going to church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except +with that intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he +hung on a nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and +when the dominie saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, +he called for his black clothes. If he did not see him it is +undeniable that the dominie sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained +at home himself. Possibly, therefore, the dominie sometimes went to +church, because he did not want to give Little Tilly and the +Established minister the satisfaction of knowing that he was not devout +to-day, and it is even conceivable that had Little Tilly had a +telescope and an intellect as well as his neighbour, he would have +spied on the dominie in return. He sent the teacher a load of potatoes +every year, and the recipient rated him soundly if they did not turn +out as well as the ones he had got the autumn before. Little Tilly was +rather in awe of the dominie, and had an idea that he was a +Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a black cap. +</P> + +<P> +The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that +pierced you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor +drew near who might be a member of the Board, he disappeared into his +house much as a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking +thing about him was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a +limp. The glen in our part is marshy, and to progress along it you +have to jump from one little island of grass or heather to another. +Perhaps it was this that made the dominie take the main road and even +the streets of Thrums in leaps, as if there were boulders or puddles in +the way. It is, however, currently believed among those who knew him +best that he jerked himself along in that way when he applied for the +vacancy in Glen Quharity school, and that he was therefore chosen from +among the candidates by the committee of farmers, who saw that he was +specially constructed for the district. +</P> + +<P> +In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of +course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So +a new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done +good service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had +been without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the +door against the fireplace. After that it was the dominie's custom, on +seeing the room cleared, to send in a smart boy—a dux was always +chosen—who wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. +Thus the school was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the +window, where he entered to open the door next morning. In time grass +hid the little path from view that led to the old school, and a dozen +years ago every particle of wood about the building, including the door +and the framework of the windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. +</P> + +<P> +The Board would have liked to leave the dominie in his white-washed +dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned +that he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and +removed his beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to +approve of it, and it soon came to the ears of the horrified +Established minister, who had a man (Established) in his eye for the +appointment, that the dominie was looking ten years younger. As he +spurned a pension he had to get the place, and then began a warfare of +bickerings between the Board and him, that lasted until within a few +weeks of his death. In his scholastic barn the dominie had thumped the +Latin grammar into his scholars till they became university bursars to +escape him. In the new school, with maps (which he hid in the +hen-house) and every other modern appliance for making teaching easy, +he was the scandal of the glen. He snapped at the clerk of the Board's +throat, and barred his door in the minister's face. It was one of his +favourite relaxations to peregrinate the district, telling the farmers +who were not on the Board themselves, but were given to gossiping with +those who were, that though he could slumber pleasantly in the school +so long as the hum of the standards was kept up, he immediately woke if +it ceased. +</P> + +<P> +Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have +read over the code, and come at once to the conclusion that it would be +idle to think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The +inspector he regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by +much guile. One year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, +to find that all the children, except two girls—one of whom had her +face tied up with red flannel—were away for the harvest. On another +occasion the dominie met the inspector's trap some distance from the +school, and explained that he would guide him by a short cut, leaving +the driver to take the dog-cart to a farm where it could be put up. +The unsuspecting inspector agreed, and they set off, the obsequious +dominie carrying his bag. He led his victim into another glen, the +hills round which had hidden their heads in mist, and then slyly +remarked that he was afraid they had lost their way. The minister, who +liked to attend the examination, reproved the dominie for providing no +luncheon, but turned pale when his enemy suggested that he should +examine the boys in Latin. +</P> + +<P> +For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his +life refused to teach his scholars geography. The Inspector and many +others asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable +answer was to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an +impressive whisper— +</P> + +<P> +"They winna hae her." +</P> + +<P> +This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on +cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the +inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered +who had a reputation for dirt. +</P> + +<P> +"Michty!" cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the +apparition at the door, "there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!" +</P> + +<P> +When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the +minister during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs +that were already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of +beauty from among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The +judges, who were selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat +at the door of a tent that reeked of whisky, and regarded the +competitors filing by much as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid +stare. There was much giggling and blushing on these occasions among +the maidens, and shouts from their relatives and friends to "Haud yer +head up, Jean," and "Lat them see yer een, Jess." The dominie enjoyed +this, and was one time chosen a judge, when he insisted on the prize's +being bestowed on his own daughter, Marget. The other judges demurred, +but the dominie remained firm and won the day. +</P> + +<P> +"She wasna the best-faured amon them," he admitted afterwards, "but a +man maun mak the maist o' his ain." +</P> + +<P> +The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the +apple and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, +the black week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when +the whole countryside rumbled to the farmer's "kebec"-laden cart. +</P> + +<P> +For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds +a year, but he "died worth" about three hundred pounds. The moral of +his life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his +deathbed to hide a whisky bottle from his wife. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap07"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY +</H3> + +<P> +The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved +his mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother +were Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to +these names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent +forward as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp +the shafts of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter uphill +and downhill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck, and +fastened to the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly +strangling him. By and by there came a time when the barrow and the +weaver seemed both palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would +stop in the middle of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. +Then he laid himself down behind it to prevent the barrow's slipping +back. On those occasions only the barefooted boys who jeered at the +panting weaver could put new strength into his shrivelled arms. They +did it by telling him that he and Mysy would have to go to the +"poorshouse" after all, at which the grey old man would wince, as if +"joukin" from a blow, and, shuddering, rise and, with a desperate +effort, gain the top of the incline. Small blame perhaps attached to +Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a little dottle. His loads of +yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, and his eyelids quivered +as he drew near. Boys used to gather round the gate in anticipation of +his coming, and make a feint of driving him inside. Cree, when he +observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts terrified to approach, and +I see them now pointing to the workhouse till he left his barrow on the +road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he ran. +</P> + +<P> +It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young +and straight, a callant who wore a flower in his buttonhole, and tried +to be a hero for a maiden's sake. +</P> + +<P> +Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor-grinder +for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he +went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs +failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the +pauper's home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be +seen. Grinder Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone +along the long high road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a +few hundred yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or +behind a paling, returned for his mother. Her he led—sometimes he +almost carried her—to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by +double journeys kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy's death +would be a merciful release—every one but Cree. +</P> + +<P> +Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from +his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a +time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find +employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters +for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never +heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all +Mysy could tell me to put in writing was—"Oh, my son Cree; oh, my +beloved son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my +Cree!" On one of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, +which, she said, would perhaps help me to write the letter. It had +been drawn up by Cree many years before, when he and his mother had +been compelled to part for a time, and I saw from it that he had been +trying to teach Mysy to write. The paper consisted of phrases such as +"Dear son Cree," "Loving mother," "I am takin' my food weel," +"Yesterday," "Blankets," "The peats is near done," "Mr. Dishart," "Come +home, Cree." The Grinder had left this paper with his mother, and she +had written letters to him from it. +</P> + +<P> +When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in +his house Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a +hand-loom in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread +over it to protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old +coffin-beds, a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged +stools, and two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the +other. In one corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own +pirns. There was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece +hung the wag-at-the-wall clock, the timepiece that was commonest in +Thrums at that time, and that got this name because its exposed +pendulum swung along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each +other on opposite walls, and were so small that even a child might have +stuck in trying to crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a +door. In the wall of the dark passage leading from the outer door into +the room was a recess where a pan and pitcher of water always stood +wedded, as it were, and a little hole, known as the "bole," in the wall +opposite the fireplace contained Cree's library. It consisted of +Baxter's "Saints' Rest," Harvey's "Meditations," the "Pilgrim's +Progress," a work on folk-lore, and several Bibles. The saut-backet, +or salt-bucket, stood at the end of the fender, which was half of an +old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, whistling "Ower the watter for +Chairlie" to make Mysy think that he was as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew +querulous in her old age, and up to the end she thought of poor, done +Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving far on into the night +could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. He began at six +o'clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the light of his +cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those days, though +it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses in the +glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, and +shaped not unlike the palm when contracted, and deepened to hold a +liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was +a rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by +herd-boys at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. +The rashes skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was +placed inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in +time the oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a +deck or hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it +gave but a stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more +than the half of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for +wicks. He was too dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart +called occasionally and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The +lies Cree told Mysy were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, +and that he wore the overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a +blanket to keep her warm. +</P> + +<P> +There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used to +climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, +which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bed-ridden by this time, +and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his +persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had +busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to +flatter them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. +One night it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day +listening for her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would +come in the form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to +forestall the spirit. Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was +hoisted up to one of the little windows, and he has always thought of +Mysy since as he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so +far as he could see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her. +</P> + +<P> +Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy +was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the +little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner +shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this he +kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the +kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without +disturbing Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats +on tiptoe. His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got +down on his knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in +his hands, he returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the +bed where Mysy lay. Though Tammy Gow's face was pressed against a +broken window he did not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some +say that Mysy heard, but pretended not to do so for her son's sake, +that she realized the deception he played on her, and had not the heart +to undeceive him. But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys +left Cree alone that night. +</P> + +<P> +The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left +him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At +first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed +after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser +pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of +his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day's labour was +over said that the weaver kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and +that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip +through his fingers. So there were boys who called "Miser Queery" +after him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to +keep himself from the workhouse. +</P> + +<P> +But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his deathbed what he +had been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, +died of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after +being accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal +indeed. The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, +and when Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his +corduroys from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, +attended him in his last illness, looked on curiously, while Cree added +the sixpences and coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After +all they only made some two pounds, but a look of peace came into +Cree's eyes as he told the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. +Nearly twelve years previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, +and though the money was never asked for, it preyed on Cree's mind that +he was in debt. He payed off all he owed, and so Cree's life was not, +I think, a failure. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap08"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER VIII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL +</H3> + +<P> +For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie was +thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders +Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) +went in for her he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver +in the Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter whose trade mark was a bell +on his horse's neck that told when coals were coming. Being something +of a public man, Sanders had not perhaps so high a social position as +Sam'l, but he had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the +weaver had already tried several trades. It had always been against +Sam'l, too, that once when the kirk was vacant he had advised the +selection of the third minister who preached for it on the ground that +it came expensive to pay a large number of candidates. The scandal of +the thing was hushed up, out of respect for his father, who was a +God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by it in Lang Tammas's circle. +The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to distinguish him from his +father, who was not much more than half his size. He had grown up with +the name, and its inapplicability now came home to nobody. Sam'l's +mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders's. Her man had been +called Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so +when their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in +his cradle. The neighbours imitated her, and thus the young man had a +better start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. +</P> + +<P> +It was Saturday evening—the night in the week when Auld Licht young +men fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a +red ball on the top, came to the door of a one-storey house in the +Tenements and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for +the first time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his +feeling of being a stranger to himself wore off he looked up and down +the road, which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking +his way over the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat +down on it. He was now on his way to the square. +</P> + +<P> +Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and +Sam'l looked at her for a time. +</P> + +<P> +"Is't yersel, Eppie?" he said at last +</P> + +<P> +"It's a' that," said Eppie. +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo's a' wi' ye?" asked Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"We're juist aff an' on," replied Eppie, cautiously. +</P> + +<P> +There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the henhouse he +murmured politely, "Ay, ay." In another minute he would have been +fairly started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l," she said, with a twinkle in her eye, "ye can tell Lisbeth +Fargus I'll likely be drappin' in on her aboot Mununday or Teisday." +</P> + +<P> +Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better known +as T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's +mistress. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l leant against the henhouse as if all his desire to depart had +gone. +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?" he asked, grinning +in anticipation. +</P> + +<P> +"Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell," said Eppie. +</P> + +<P> +"Am no sae sure o' that," said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying +himself now. +</P> + +<P> +"Am no sure o' that," he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"Ay." +</P> + +<P> +"Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?" +</P> + +<P> +This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a +little aback. +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?" he asked. +</P> + +<P> +"Maybe ye'll do't the nicht." +</P> + +<P> +"Na, there's nae hurry," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +"Gae wa wi' ye." +</P> + +<P> +"What for no'?" +</P> + +<P> +"Gae wa wi' ye," said Sam'l again. +</P> + +<P> +"Bell's get an' fond o' ye, Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses." +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. +</P> + +<P> +"I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on +terr'ble wi Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." +</P> + +<P> +"We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." +</P> + +<P> +"Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that." +</P> + +<P> +"Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye." +</P> + +<P> +"Ou, weel," said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as +they come. +</P> + +<P> +"For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +"Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the +ordinar." +</P> + +<P> +"Ye mayna be," said Eppie, "but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler." +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye'll no tell Bell that?" he asked, anxiously. +</P> + +<P> +"Tell her what?" +</P> + +<P> +"Aboot me an' Mysy." +</P> + +<P> +"We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +"No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think +twice o' tellin her mysel." +</P> + +<P> +"The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l," said Eppie, as he disappeared +down Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye're late, Sam'l," said Henders. +</P> + +<P> +"What for?" +</P> + +<P> +"Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, +an' I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne." +</P> + +<P> +"Did ye?" cried Sam'l, adding craftily, "but it's naething to me." +</P> + +<P> +"Tod, lad," said Henders, "gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be +carryin' her off." +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l!" cried Henders after him. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Sam'l, wheeling round. +</P> + +<P> +"Gie Bell a kiss frae me." +</P> + +<P> +The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to +smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders +while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his +legs gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went +into the house and thought it over. +</P> + +<P> +There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which +was lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and +again a staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on +her arm, and if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of +the idlers would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, +and then grinned to each other. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, Sam'l," said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath +the town clock. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, Davit," replied Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and it +was not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. +Perhaps when Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. +</P> + +<P> +"Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?" asked one. +</P> + +<P> +"Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?" suggested another, the same who +had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed +good-naturedly. +</P> + +<P> +"Ondoobtedly she's a snod bit crittur," said Davit, archly. +</P> + +<P> +"An' michty clever wi' her fingers," added Jamie Deuchars. +</P> + +<P> +"Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel," said Pete Ogle. "Wid +there be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete," replied Sam'l, in +one of those happy flashes that come to some men, "but there's nae +sayin' but what she micht tak ye to finish up wi.'" +</P> + +<P> +The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did +not set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he +could say a cutting thing once in a way. +</P> + +<P> +"Did ye ever see Bell reddin up?" asked Pete, recovering from his +overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. +</P> + +<P> +"It's a sicht," said Sam'l, solemnly. +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo will that be?" asked Jamie Deuchars. +</P> + +<P> +"It's weel worth yer while," said Pete, "to ging atower to the +T'nowhead an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, +weel, they're a fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy +to manage. Th' ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' +them. When they war i' the middle o' their reddin up the bairns wid +come tumlin' about the floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash +lang wi' them. Did she, Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"She did not," said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add +emphasis to his remark. +</P> + +<P> +"I'll tell ye what she did," said Pete to the others. "She juist +lifted up the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the +coffin-beds. Syne she snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there +till the floor was dry." +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, man, did she so?" said Davit, admiringly. +</P> + +<P> +"I've seen her do't mysel," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums," +continued Pete. +</P> + +<P> +"Her mither tocht her that," said Sam'l; "she was a gran' han' at the +bakin', Kitty Ogilvy." +</P> + +<P> +"I've heard say," remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie +himself down to anything, "'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's." +</P> + +<P> +"So they are," said Sam'l, almost fiercely. +</P> + +<P> +"I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen," said Pete. +</P> + +<P> +"An' wi't a'," said Davit, "she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her +Sabbath claes." +</P> + +<P> +"If onything, thick in the waist," suggested Jamie. +</P> + +<P> +"I dinna see that," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"I d'na care for her hair either," continued Jamie, who was very nice +in his tastes; "something mair yallowchy wid be an improvement." +</P> + +<P> +"A'body kins," growled Sam'l, "'at black hair's the bonniest." +</P> + +<P> +The others chuckled. +</P> + +<P> +"Puir Sam'l!" Pete said. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile or +a frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was +position one with him for thinking things over. +</P> + +<P> +Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate +for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending +the washing tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until +Saturday night, and then he learned from them what he had been after. +It dazed him for a time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the +idea, and they were then married. With a little help he fell in love +just like other people. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to +come to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could +never take up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday +before. Thus he had not, so far, made great headway. His method of +making up to Bell had been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights +and talk with the farmer about the rinderpest. +</P> + +<P> +The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and +stools were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus's sawmill +boards, and the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's +pinafore. Bell was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had +been overrun with thieves. It is now thought that there may have been +only one, but he had the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his +repute that there were weavers who spoke of locking their doors when +they went from home. He was not very skilful, however, being generally +caught, and when they said they knew he was a robber he gave them their +things back and went away. If they had given him time there is no +doubt that he would have gone off with his plunder. One night he went +to T'nowhead, and Bell, who slept in the kitchen, was wakened by the +noise. She knew who it would be, so she rose and dressed herself, and +went to look for him with a candle. The thief had not known what to do +when he got in, and as it was very lonely he was glad to see Bell. She +told him he ought to be ashamed of himself, and would not let him out +by the door until he had taken off his boots so as not to soil the +carpet. +</P> + +<P> +On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by +and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, +but his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said +good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group +until he was fairly started. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, +walked round the townhouse into the darkness of the brae that leads +down and then up to the farm of T'nowhead. +</P> + +<P> +To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways +and humour them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, +instead of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the +rather ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also +aware of this weakness of Lisbeth's, but, though he often made up his +mind to knock, the absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when +he reached the door. T'nowhead himself had never got used to his +wife's refined notions, and when any one knocked he always started to +his feet, thinking there must be something wrong. +</P> + +<P> +Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l," she said. +</P> + +<P> +"Lisbeth," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but +only said, "Ay, Bell," to his sweetheart, "Ay, T'nowhead," to +McQuhatty, and "It's yersel, Sanders," to his rival. +</P> + +<P> +They were all sitting round the fire, T'nowhead, with his feet on the +ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while +Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. +</P> + +<P> +"Sit into the fire, Sam'l," said the farmer, not, however, making way +for him. +</P> + +<P> +"Na, na," said Sam'l, "I'm to bide nae time." Then he sat into the +fire. His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he +answered her without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. +Sanders Elshioner, who had one leg shorter than the other, but looked +well when sitting, seemed suspiciously at home. He asked Bell +questions out of his own head, which was beyond Sam'l, and once he said +something to her in such a low voice that the others could not catch +it. T'nowhead asked curiously what it was, and Sanders explained that +he had only said, "Ay, Bell, the morn's the Sabbath." There was +nothing startling in this, but Sam'l did not like it. He began to +wonder if he was too late, and had he seen his opportunity would have +told Bell of a nasty rumour that Sanders intended to go over to the +Free Church if they would make him kirk-officer. +</P> + +<A NAME="img-128"></A> +<CENTER> +<IMG CLASS="imgcenter" SRC="images/img-128.jpg" ALT="Sabbath at T'Nowhead. From a photograph by G. W. Wilson." BORDER="2" WIDTH="337" HEIGHT="525"> +<H3 CLASS="h3center" STYLE="width: 337px"> +Sabbath at T'Nowhead. From a photograph by G. W. Wilson. +</H3> +</CENTER> + +<P> +Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. +Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made +mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because +he did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not +taken his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and by +and lock the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers +Bell preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to +prefer the man who proposed to her. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?" Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with +her eyes on the goblet. +</P> + +<P> +"No, I thank ye," said Sam'l, with true genteelity. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye'll better?" +</P> + +<P> +"I dinna think it." +</P> + +<P> +"Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?" +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide." +</P> + +<P> +No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the +servant, and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant +that he was not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was +not uncomfortable. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae," he said at last. +</P> + +<P> +He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him +off his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the +notion of going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that +he must now be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted +similarly. For a Thrums man it is one of the hardest things in life to +get away from anywhere. +</P> + +<P> +At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were +burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, I'll hae to be movin'," said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth +time. +</P> + +<P> +"Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders," said Lisbeth. "Gie the door a +fling-to, ahent ye." +</P> + +<P> +Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked +boldly at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with +misgivings that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. +It was a paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an +assortment of sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle +Friday. +</P> + +<P> +"Hae, Bell," said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way +as if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for +he went off without saying good-night. +</P> + +<P> +No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgetted on his +chair, and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm and +collected, though he would have liked to know whether this was a +proposal. +</P> + +<P> +"Sit in by to the table, Sam'l," said Lisbeth, trying to look as if +things were as they had been before. +</P> + +<P> +She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to melt, +for melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of +potatoes. Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, +he seized his bonnet. +</P> + +<P> +"Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth," he said with dignity; +"I'se be back in ten meenits." +</P> + +<P> +He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. +</P> + +<P> +"What do ye think?" asked Lisbeth. +</P> + +<P> +"I d'na kin," faltered Bell. +</P> + +<P> +"Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil," said T'nowhead. +</P> + +<P> +In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been +suspected of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth +did the weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much +matter what T'nowhead thought. +</P> + +<P> +The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm +kitchen. He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth +did not expect it of him. +</P> + +<P> +"Bell, hae!" he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the +size of Sanders's gift. +</P> + +<P> +"Losh preserve's!" exclaimed Lisbeth; "I'se warrant there's a shillin's +worth." +</P> + +<P> +"There's a' that, Lisbeth—an' mair," said Sam'l, firmly. +</P> + +<P> +"I thank ye, Sam'l," said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she +gazed at the two paper bags in her lap. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l," Lisbeth said. +</P> + +<P> +"Not at all," said Sam'l; "not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat +thae ither anes, Bell—they're second quality." +</P> + +<P> +Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"How do ye kin?" asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"I spiered i' the shop," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer +beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was +to take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, +and then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide +knives and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead +was master in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his +hands, and began to think that he had gone too far. +</P> + +<P> +In the meantime Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his +trick, was sauntering along the kirk-wynd, with his hat on the side of +his head. Fortunately he did not meet the minister. +</P> + +<P> +The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a +month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force +that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was +there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath +for T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for +the painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. +</P> + +<P> +Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the +house it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at +home with him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she +could not resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children +besides the baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life +to march them into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared +not misbehave, and so tightly packed that they could not fall. The +congregation looked at that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang +the lines— +</P> + +<P> +"Jerusalem like a city is<BR> +Compactly built together."<BR> +</P> + +<P> +</P> + +<P> +The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular +Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the +psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near +the door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in +that attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of +the church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the +congregation did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in +their minds for future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take +it so coolly. From his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, +and his mind misgave him. With the true lover's instinct he understood +it all. Sanders had been struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead +pew. Bell was alone at the farm. What an opportunity to work one's +way up to a proposal. T'nowhead was so overrun with children that such +a chance seldom occurred, except on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was +off to propose, and he, Sam'l, was left behind. +</P> + +<P> +The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along +that Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those +who thought her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the +weaver repented having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten +minutes Sanders would be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. +Sam'l rose to his feet in a daze. His mother pulled him down by the +coat-tail, and his father shook him, thinking he was walking in his +sleep. He tottered past them, however, hurried up the aisle, which was +so narrow that Dan'l Ross could only reach his seat by walking +sideways, and was gone before the minister could do more than stop in +the middle of a whirl and gape in horror after him. +</P> + +<P> +A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in +the laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. +From the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as +Sam'l took the common, which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to +T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not +to be seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had +ample time, he had gone round by the main road to save his +boots—perhaps a little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was +to forestall him by taking the shorter path over the burn and up the +commonty. +</P> + +<P> +It was a race for a wife, and several on-lookers in the gallery braved +the minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favoured Sam'l's +suit exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders +fixed their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. +Sanders must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point +first would get Bell. +</P> + +<P> +As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would +probably not be delayed. The chances were in his favour. Had it been +any other day in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the +congregation in the gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him +bend low and then take to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders's +head bobbing over the hedge that separated the road from the common, +and feared that Sanders might see him. The congregation who could +crane their necks sufficiently saw a black object, which they guessed +to be the carter's hat, crawling along the hedge-top. For a moment it +was motionless, and then it shot ahead. The rivals had seen each +other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, dissembling no longer, clattered +up the common, becoming smaller and smaller to the onlookers as he +neared the top. More than one person in the gallery almost rose to +their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. No, Sanders was in +front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. They seemed to run +into each other at the top of the brae, and no one could say who was +first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of them +perspired. But the minister held on his course. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's +saving that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for +Sam'l was sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at +once. The last hundred yards of the distance he covered at his +leisure, and when he arrived at his destination he did not go in. It +was a fine afternoon for the time of year, and he went round to have a +look at the pig, about which T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting +animal; "quite so." +</P> + +<P> +"Grumph," said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. +</P> + +<P> +"Ou ay; yes," said Sanders, thoughtfully. +</P> + +<P> +Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently +at an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, +whom he had lost for ever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is +not known. +</P> + +<P> +"Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?" cried Bell, nearly dropping +the baby as Sam'l broke into the room. +</P> + +<P> +"Bell!" cried Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l," she faltered. +</P> + +<P> +"Will ye hae's Bell?" demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," answered Bell. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l fell into a chair. +</P> + +<P> +"Bring's a drink o' water, Bell," he said. +</P> + +<P> +But Bell thought the occasion required milk, and there was none in the +kitchen. She went out to the byre, still with the baby in her arms, +and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting gloomily on the pigsty. +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, Bell," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders," said Bell. +</P> + +<P> +Then there was a silence between them. +</P> + +<P> +"Has Sam'l spiered ye, Bell?" asked Sanders, stolidly. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. +Sanders was little better than an "orra man," and Sam'l was a weaver, +and yet—— But it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious +poke with a stick, and when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in +the kitchen. She had forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only +got water after all. +</P> + +<P> +In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were +some who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the +lassie in giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her +other lover was in the same predicament as the accepted one—that of +the two, indeed, he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead +on the Sabbath of his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And +then there is no one to say for certain whether Bell heard of her +suitors' delinquencies until Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l +could never remember whether he told her, and Bell was not sure +whether, if he did, she took it in. Sanders was greatly in demand for +weeks after to tell what he knew of the affair, but though he was twice +asked to tea to the manse among the trees, and subjected thereafter to +ministerial cross-examinations, this is all he told. He remained at +the pigsty until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined him at the top of +the brae, and they went home together. +</P> + +<P> +"It's yersel, Sanders," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"It is so, Sam'l," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Very cauld," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"Blawy," assented Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +After a pause— +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay." +</P> + +<P> +"I'm hearin' yer to be mairit." +</P> + +<P> +"Ay." +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie." +</P> + +<P> +"Thank ye," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel," continued Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye had?" +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't." +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo d'ye mean?" asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity." +</P> + +<P> +"It is so," said Sam'l, wincing. +</P> + +<P> +"An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation." +</P> + +<P> +"But it's a blessed and honourable state, Sanders; ye've heard the +minister on't." +</P> + +<P> +"They say," continued the relentless Sanders, "'at the minister doesna +get on sair wi' the wife himsel." +</P> + +<P> +"So they do," cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. +</P> + +<P> +"I've been telt," Sanders went on, "'at gin ye can get the upper han' +o' the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a +harmonious exeestence." +</P> + +<P> +"Bell's no the lassie," said Sam'l, appealingly, "to thwart her man." +</P> + +<P> +Sanders smiled. +</P> + +<P> +"D' ye think she is, Sanders?" +</P> + +<P> +"Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' +Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life +T'nowhead has wi' her." +</P> + +<P> +"Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?" +</P> + +<P> +"I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +They had now reached the square, and the U. P. kirk was coming out. +The Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. +</P> + +<P> +"But, Sanders," said Sam'l, brightening up, "ye was on yer way to spier +her yersel." +</P> + +<P> +"I was, Sam'l," said Sanders, "and I canna but be thankfu ye was ower +quick for's." +</P> + +<P> +"Gin't hadna been you," said Sam'l, "I wid never hae thocht o't." +</P> + +<P> +"I'm sayin' naething agin Bell," pursued the other, "but, man Sam'l, a +body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind." +</P> + +<P> +"It was michty hurried," said Sam'l, woefully. +</P> + +<P> +"It's a serious thing to spier a lassie," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"It's an awfu thing," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"But we'll hope for the best," added Sanders, in a hopeless voice. +</P> + +<P> +They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on +his way to be hanged. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, Sanders." +</P> + +<P> +"Did ye—did ye kiss her, Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"Na." +</P> + +<P> +"Hoo?" +</P> + +<P> +"There's was varra little time, Sanders." +</P> + +<P> +"Half an 'oor," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't." +</P> + +<P> +Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l +Dickie. +</P> + +<P> +The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister +would interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the +pulpit that the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and +then praying for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown +in for Bell, he let things take their course. Some said it was because +he was always frightened lest his young men should intermarry with +other denominations, but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"I hav'na a word to say agin the minister," he said; "they're gran' +prayers, but Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel." +</P> + +<P> +"He's a' the better for that, Sanders, is'na he?" +</P> + +<P> +"Do ye no see," asked Sanders, compassionately, "'at he's tryin' to mak +the best o't?" +</P> + +<P> +"Oh, Sanders, man!" said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"Cheer up, Sam'l," said Sanders, "it'll sune be ower." +</P> + +<P> +Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their +friendship. On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere +acquaintances, they became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. +It was noticed that they had much to say to each other, and that when +they could not get a room to themselves they wandered about together in +the churchyard. When Sam'l had anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders +to tell it, and Sanders did as he was bid. There was nothing that he +would not have done for Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He +never laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half +the day. Sam'l felt that Sanders's was the kindness of a friend for a +dying man. +</P> + +<P> +It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy +that made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once +he came to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to +see him home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was +fixed for Friday. +</P> + +<P> +"Sanders, Sanders," said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, +"it'll a' be ower by this time the morn." +</P> + +<P> +"It will," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"If I had only kent her langer," continued Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"It wid hae been safer," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?" asked the accepted +swain. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Sanders, reluctantly. +</P> + +<P> +"I'm dootin'—I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, licht-hearted +crittur after a'." +</P> + +<P> +"I had ay my suspeecions o't," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye hae kent her langer than me," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," said Sanders, "but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. +Man, Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'." +</P> + +<P> +"I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't." +</P> + +<P> +"It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the +futur," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l groaned. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's +mornin'," continued Sanders in a subdued voice. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. +</P> + +<P> +"I canna do't, Sanders," he said, "I canna do't." +</P> + +<P> +"Ye maun," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"It's aisy to speak," retorted Sam'l, bitterly. +</P> + +<P> +"We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l," said Sanders, soothingly, "an' every +man maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no +repinin'." +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," said Sam'l, "but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in +our family too." +</P> + +<P> +"It may a' be for the best," added Sanders, "an' there wid be a michty +talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a +man." +</P> + +<P> +"I maun hae langer to think o't," said Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"Bell's mairitch is the morn," said Sanders, decisively. +</P> + +<P> +Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. +</P> + +<P> +"Sanders," he cried. +</P> + +<P> +"Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction." +</P> + +<P> +"Nothing ava," said Sanders; "dount mention'd." +</P> + +<P> +"But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that +awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'." +</P> + +<P> +"It was so," said Sanders, bravely. +</P> + +<P> +"An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders." +</P> + +<P> +"I dinna deny't." +</P> + +<P> +"Sanders, laddie," said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a +wheedling voice, "I aye thocht it was you she likeit." +</P> + +<P> +"I had some sic idea mysel," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane +anither as you an' Bell." +</P> + +<P> +"Canna ye, Sam'l?" +</P> + +<P> +"She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders. I hae studied her weel, and +she's a thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' +her. Mony a time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, There's a lass ony man +micht be prood to tak. A'body says the same, Sanders. There's nae +risk ava, man: nane to speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; +it's a grand chance, Sanders. She's yours for the spierin. I'll gie +her up, Sanders." +</P> + +<P> +"Will ye, though?" said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"What d'ye think?" asked Sam'l. +</P> + +<P> +"If ye wid rayther," said Sanders, politely. +</P> + +<P> +"There's my han' on't," said Sam'l. "Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a +true frien' to me." +</P> + +<P> +Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon +afterwards Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead. +</P> + +<P> +Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night +before, put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. +</P> + +<P> +"But—but where is Sam'l?" asked the minister; "I must see himself." +</P> + +<P> +"It's a new arrangement," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"What do you mean, Sanders?" +</P> + +<P> +"Bell's to marry me," explained Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"But—but what does Sam'l say?" +</P> + +<P> +"He's willin'," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"And Bell?" +</P> + +<P> +"She's willin', too. She prefers't." +</P> + +<P> +"It is unusual," said the minister. +</P> + +<P> +"It's a' richt," said Sanders. +</P> + +<P> +"Well, you know best," said the minister. +</P> + +<P> +"You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate," continued Sanders. "An I'll +juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l." +</P> + +<P> +"Quite so." +</P> + +<P> +"An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie." +</P> + +<P> +"Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders," said the minister; "but I +hope you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without full +consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, +marriage." +</P> + +<P> +"It's a' that," said Sanders, "but I'm willin' to stan' the risk." +</P> + +<P> +So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife +T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at +the penny wedding. +</P> + +<P> +Years afterwards it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell +badly, but he was never sure about it himself. +</P> + +<P> +"It was a near thing—a michty near thing," he admitted in the square. +</P> + +<P> +"They say," some other weaver would remark, "'at it was you Bell liked +best." +</P> + +<P> +"I d'na kin," Sam'l would reply, "but there's nae doot the lassie was +fell fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap09"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER IX +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES +</H3> + +<P> +When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of +1832. I would be eight or ten year old at the time. James Strachan +was at the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, +by arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the +bonfire. Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there +tossing pennies, just like at a marriage. I was wakened before that by +my mother at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections +since that time with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the +cups and tankers and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying +the pots and pans to make way for the ale and porter. James and me was +to help to carry it home from the square—him in the pitcher and me in +a flagon, because I was silly for my age and not strong in the arms. +</P> + +<P> +It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part of +the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. +Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things +together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion +pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not +hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty +Lamby had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the +morning, her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down +with the toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making +for the quarry, which being more sheltered was now thought to be a +better place for the bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a +general holiday in the whole country-side. There was a great commotion +of people, all fine dressed and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me +and James was well acquaint with them, though mostly weavers and the +like and not my father's equal. Mr. Scrimgour was not there himself; +but there was a small active body in his room as tossed the money for +him fair enough; though not so liberally as was expected, being mostly +ha'pence where pennies was looked for. Such was not my father's +opinion, and him and a few others only had a vote. He considered it +was a waste of money giving to them that had no vote and so taking out +of other folks' mouths, but the little man said it kept everybody in +good-humour and made Mr. Scrimgour popular. He was an extraordinary +affable man and very spirity, running about to waste no time in +walking, and gave me a shilling, saying to me to be a truthful boy and +tell my father. He did not give James anything, him being an orphan, +but clapped his head and said he was a fine boy. +</P> + +<P> +The Captain was to vote for the Bill if he got in, the which he did. +It was the Captain was to give the ale and porter in the square like a +true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my +shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I +let him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me +and James was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, +always pushing in when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence +out of our hands: us not caring so much about the money, but humiliated +to see women mixing up in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was +on the bonfire there was a great smell of whisky in the quarry, it +being a confined place. My father had been against the bonfire being +in the quarry, arguing that the wind on the hill would have carried off +the smell of the whisky; but Peter Tosh said they did not want the +smell carried off; it would be agreeable to the masons for weeks to +come. Except among the women there was no fighting nor wrangling at +the quarry but all in fine spirits. +</P> + +<P> +I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the Captain that took +the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that +the Captain sent him the gamecock. Whichever one it was that fancied +the litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which he +did at thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father +made. Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The +Captain, who was a local man when not with his regiment, had the +grandest collection of fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came +into the town to try them against the town cocks. I mind well the +large wicker cage in which they were conveyed from place to place, and +never without the Captain near at hand. My father had a cock that beat +all the other town cocks at the cock fight at our school, which was +superintended by the elder of the kirk to see fair play; but the which +died of its wounds the next day but one. This was a great grief to my +father, it having been challenged to fight the Captain's cock. +Therefore it was very considerate of the Captain to make my father a +present of his bird; father, in compliment to him, changing its name +from the "Deil" to the "Captain." +</P> + +<P> +During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me +was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the +square, however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of +the folk there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The +Captain had given orders that there was to be no stint of ale and +porter, and neither there was; but much of it lost through hastiness. +Great barrels was hurled into the middle of the square, where the +country wives sat with their eggs and butter on market-day, and was +quickly stove in with an axe or paving-stone or whatever came handy. +Sometimes they would break into the barrel at different points; and +then, when they tilted it up to get the ale out at one hole, it gushed +out at the bottom till the square was flooded. My mother was fair +disgusted when told by me and James of the waste of good liquor. It is +gospel truth I speak when I say I mind well of seeing Singer Davie +catching the porter in a pan as it ran down the sire, and, when the pan +was full to overflowing, putting his mouth to the stream and drinking +till he was as full as the pan. Most of the men, however, stuck to the +barrels, the drink running in the street being ale and porter mixed, +and left it to the women and the young folk to do the carrying. Susy +M'Queen brought as many pans as she could collect on a barrow, and was +filling them all with porter, rejecting the ale; but indignation was +aroused against her, and as fast as she filled, the others emptied. +</P> + +<P> +My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the +crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless +he instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and +run back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the +streets who might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let +the excesses of our neighbours be a warning in sobriety to us; enough +being as good as a feast, except when you can store it up for the +winter. By and by my mother thought it was not safe me being in the +streets with so many wild men about, and would have sent James himself, +him being an orphan and hardier; but this I did not like, but, running +out, did not come back for long enough. There is no doubt that the +music was to blame for firing the men's blood, and the result most +disgraceful fighting with no object in view. There was three fiddlers +and two at the flute, most of them blind, but not the less dangerous on +that account; and they kept the town in a ferment, even playing the +countryfolk home to the farms, followed by bands of townsfolk. They +were a quarrelsome set, the ploughmen and others; and it was generally +admitted in the town that their overbearing behaviour was responsible +for the fights. I mind them being driven out of the square, stones +flying thick; also some stand-up fights with sticks, and others fair +enough with fists. The worst fight I did not see. It took place in a +field. At first it was only between two who had been miscalling one +another; but there was many looking on, and when the town man was like +getting the worst of it the others set to, and a most heathenish fray +with no sense in it ensued. One man had his arm broken. I mind Hobart +the bellman going about ringing his bell and telling all persons to get +within doors; but little attention was paid to him, it being notorious +that Snecky had had a fight earlier in the day himself. +</P> + +<P> +When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I +had the honour of dining with the electors who voted for the Captain, +him paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me +to the town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father +home at a decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in +liquor but at no other time. They were very jolly, however, and +insisted on my drinking the Captain's health and eating more than was +safe. My father got it next day from my mother for this; and so would +I myself, but it was several days before I left my bed, completely +knocked up as I was with the excitement and one thing or another. The +bonfire, which was built to celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, +was set ablaze, though I did not see it, in honour of the election of +the Captain; it being thought a pity to lose it, as no doubt it would +have been. That is about all I remember of the celebrated election of +'32 when the Reform Bill was passed. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap10"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER X +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A VERY OLD FAMILY +</H3> + +<P> +They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, +lodged. Their favourite dissipation, when their looms had come to +rest, was a dander through the kirkyard. They dressed for it: the +three young ones in their rusty black; the patriarch in his old blue +coat, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an +evening I have met them moving from grave to grave. By this time the +old man was nearly ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They +read out the inscriptions on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and +their father added his reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the +beginning of the century he had not missed a funeral, and his children +felt that he was a great example. Sire and sons returned from the +cemetery invigorated for their dally labours. If one of them happened +to start a dozen yards behind the others, he never thought of making up +the distance. If his foot struck against a stone, he came to a +dead-stop; when he discovered that he had stopped, he set off again. +</P> + +<P> +A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden from the +clatter of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went +to live within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring +morning, before the schoolhouse was built, I was assisting the +patriarch to divest the gaunt garden pump of its winter suit of straw. +I was taking a drink, I remember, my palm over the mouth of the wooden +spout and my mouth at the gimlet hole above, when a leg appeared above +the corner of the wall against which the henhouse was built. Two hands +followed, clutching desperately at the uneven stones. Then the leg +worked as if it were turning a grind-stone, and next moment Snecky was +sitting breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the henhouse, whose +roof was of "divets," the descent was comparatively easy, and a +slanting board allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the +ground. He had come on business, and having talked it over slowly with +the old man he turned to depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard +him sigh heavily as, with the remark, "Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again," +he began to rescale the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, +made no reply, so I ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might +find the gate easier. "Is there a gate?" said Snecky, in surprise at +the resources of civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went +his way chuckling. The old man told me that he had sometimes wondered +at Snecky's mode of approach, but it had not struck him to say +anything. Afterwards, when the bellman took up his abode there, they +discussed the matter heavily. +</P> + +<P> +Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who +was not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the +people speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word +used is steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and +ridiculous that Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at +the age of ten for the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until +the old bellman's death, twenty years afterwards; but the first remark +he overheard on entering the kirkwynd was a conjecture flung across the +street by a grey-haired crone, that he would be "little Snecky come to +bury auld Snecky." +</P> + +<P> +The father had a reputation in his day for "crying" crimes he was +suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too +high a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such +as the loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be +cried, he was even offensively inflated; but ordinary announcements, +such as the approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased +weaver's loom, or the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine "kebec" +cheeses, he treated as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs +of the snuffy old man straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the +smirk with which he let the curious populace gather round him. In one +hand he ostentatiously displayed the paper on which what he had to cry +was written, but, like the minister, he scorned to "read." With the +bell carefully tucked under his oxter he gave forth his news in a +rasping voice that broke now and again into a squeal. Though Scotch in +his unofficial conversation, he was believed to deliver himself on +public occasions in the finest English. When trotting from place to +place with his news he carried his bell by the tongue as cautiously as +if it were a flagon of milk. +</P> + +<P> +Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His +proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was +his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of +warning, such as, "I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae onything to do wi' +thae tatties; they're diseased." Once, just before the cattle market, +he was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found +taking the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy +would be prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were +aghast. "Hoots, lads," Snecky said; "dinna fash yoursels. It's juist +a haver o' the grieve's." One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into +evil-doers was to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew +perfectly well who the culprit was. "I see him brawly," he would say, +"standing afore me, an' if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am +determined this very day to mak a public example of him." +</P> + +<P> +Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was sent +round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the +kirkyard had been tampered with. The "resurrectionist" scare was at +its height then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums +paid to watch new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. +The town was in a ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce +suspicious men among Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of +graves in their eye. +</P> + +<P> +He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra +hand, and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No +one had a good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. +That was sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the "pend" +that led to his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, +to the kirkyard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave +they hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The +whole town gathered round the spot—a sullen crowd, the women only +breaking the silence with their sobs, and te children clinging to their +gowns. The suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of +him, and, flinging off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. +Presently the spade struck upon wood, and by and by part of the coffin +came in view. That was nothing, for the resurrectionists had a way of +breaking the coffin at one end and drawing out the body with tongs. +The digger knew this. He broke the boards with the spade and revealed +an arm. The people convinced, he dropped the arm savagely, leapt out +of the grave and went his way, leaving them to shovel back the earth +themselves. There was humour in the old family as well as in their +lodger. I found this out slowly. They used to gather round their peat +fire in the evening, after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen +rafters, and take off their neighbours. None of them ever laughed; but +their neighbours did afford them subject for gossip, and the old man +was very sarcastic over other people's old-fashioned ways. When one of +the family wanted to go out he did it gradually. He would be sitting +"into the fire" browning his corduroy trousers, and he would get up +slowly. Then he gazed solemnly before him for a time, and after that, +if you watched him narrowly, you would see that he was really moving to +the door. Another member of the family took the vacant seat with the +same precautions. Will'um, the eldest, has a gun, which customarily +stands behind the old eight-day clock; and he takes it with him to the +garden to shoot the blackbirds. Long before Will'um is ready to let +fly, the blackbirds have gone away; and so the gun is never, never +fired: but there is a determined look on Will'um's face when he returns +from the garden. +</P> + +<P> +In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a "Black Nib." +The Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; +and the public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the +local Black Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their +heads out of doors they risked being stoned. Even where the +authorities were unprejudiced they were helpless to interfere; and as a +rule they were as bitter against the Black Nibs as the populace +themselves. Once the patriarch was running through the street with a +score of the enemy at his heels, and the bailie, opening his window, +shouted to them, "Stane the Black Nib oot o' the toon!" +</P> + +<P> +When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This +is the one thing about him that his family have never been able to +understand. A solemn stroll through the kirkyard was not sufficient +relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he +rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good +deal of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way +of reprieving condemned men on whom the sightseers had been counting. +An air of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he +told how he and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for +six weeks to the county town, many miles distant, to witness the +execution of some criminal in whom they had a local interest, and who, +after disappointing them again and again, was said to have been bought +off by a friend. His crime had been stolen entrance into a house in +Thrums by the chimney, with intent to rob; and, though this +old-fashioned family did not see it, not the least noticeable incident +in the scrimmage that followed was the prudence of the canny housewife. +When she saw the legs coming down the lum, she rushed to the kail-pot +which was on the fire and put on the lid. She confessed that this was +not done to prevent the visitor's scalding himself, but to save the +broth. +</P> + +<P> +The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories +precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling, and making +the points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think +that they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones +look like contemporaries of their father. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap11"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XI +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL" +</H3> + +<P> +Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had +he been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, years +before I went to the schoolhouse, when he dropped in to ask the +pleasure of my company to the farmer of Little Rathie's "bural." As a +good Auld Licht, Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and "lum hat" +(chimney pot) for the kirk and funerals; but the coat would have +flapped villainously, to Tammas's eternal ignominy, had he for one rash +moment relaxed his hold on the bottom button, and it was only by +walking sideways, as horses sometimes try to do, that the hat could be +kept at the angle of decorum. Let it not be thought that Tammas had +asked me to Little Rathie's funeral on his own responsibility. Burals +were among the few events to break the monotony of an Auld Licht +winter, and invitations were as much sought after as cards to my lady's +dances in the south. This had been a fair average season for Tammas, +though of his four burials one had been a bairn's—a mere bagatelle; +but had it not been for the death of Little Rathie I would probably not +have been out that year at all. +</P> + +<P> +The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas +and I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we +went. The dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and +the general effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, +though living in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their +time. By a rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change +coat, hat, and trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l +Wilkie respectively, a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied +each with a "fit." The talk was chiefly of Little Rathie, and +sometimes threatened to become animated, when another mourner would +fall in and restore the more fitting gloom. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay, ay," the new comer would say, by way of responding to the sober +salutation, "Ay, Johnny." Then there was silence, but for the "gluck" +with which we lifted our feet from the slush. +</P> + +<P> +"So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa'," Johnny would venture to say, by +and by. +</P> + +<P> +"He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so." +</P> + +<P> +"Death must come to all," some one would waken up to murmur. +</P> + +<P> +"Ay," Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, "in the +morning we are strong, and in the evening we are cut down." +</P> + +<P> +"We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone +the neist." +</P> + +<P> +"Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was," +said Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, +"but he maks a very creeditable corp (corpse). I will say that for +him. It's wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as +Little Rathie was a weelfaured man when he was i' the flesh." +</P> + +<P> +Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. +He had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his +crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under +the auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. "I am of opeenion," said +Bowie, "that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not +read them myself, but such is my opeenion." +</P> + +<P> +"He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer," said Tammas +Haggart, Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not +aware of it; "but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. +She was ill to manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. +He hadna the knack o' managin' them 's ye micht say—no, Little Rathie +hadna the knack." +</P> + +<P> +"They're kittle cattle, the women," said the farmer of +Craigiebuckle—son of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere—a little +gloomily. "I've often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags +th' auld wines has at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith +inside, but, losh, ye're far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put +in yer han'." +</P> + +<P> +"Ou, weel," said Tammas, complacently, "there's truth in what ye say, +but the women can be managed if we have the knack." +</P> + +<P> +"Some o' them," said Cragiebuckle, woefully. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had," observed Lang +Tammas, unbending to suit his company. +</P> + +<P> +"Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural," said Tammas Haggart, with +a chuckle, "ay, ay, that brocht her to reason." +</P> + +<P> +Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of +his hearers. He had not the "knack" of managing women apparently when +he married, for he and his gipsy wife "agreed ill thegither" at first. +Once Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the +wynd. Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into +his confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her +decease in a "lyke wake"—a last wake. These wakes were very general +in Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the +date of Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the +friends and neighbours of the mourners were invited into the house to +partake of food and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on +chairs covered with a white sheet. Dirges were sung, and the deceased +was extolled, but when night came the lights were extinguished, and the +corpse was left alone. On the morning of the funeral tables were +spread with a white cloth outside the house, and food and drink were +placed upon them. No neighbour could pass the tables without paying +his respects to the dead; and even when the house was in a busy, narrow +thoroughfare, this part of the ceremony was never omitted. Tammas did +not give Chirsty a wake inside the house; but one Friday morning—it +was market-day, and the square was consequently full—it went through +the town that the tables were spread before his door. Young and old +collected, wandering round the house, and Tammas stood at the tables in +his blacks inviting every one to eat and drink. He was pressed to tell +what it meant; but nothing could be got from him except that his wife +was dead. At times he pressed his hands to his heart, and then he +would make wry faces, trying hard to cry. Chirsty watched from a +window across the street, until she perhaps began to fear that she +really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, she rushed out into +her husband's arms, and shortly afterwards she could have been seen +dismantling the tables. +</P> + +<P> +"She's gone this fower year," Tammas said, when he had finished his +story, "but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had +the knack o' her." +</P> + +<P> +"I've heard tell, though," said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, "as +Chirsty only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk +makkin' sae free wi' the whisky." +</P> + +<P> +"I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance, and drove the laddies awa'," +said Bowie, "an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer +fut an' you no sayin' a word." +</P> + +<P> +"Ou, ay," said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to +be generous in trifles, "women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to +conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty." +</P> + +<P> +"Donal Elshioner's was a very seemilar case," broke in Snecky Hobart, +shrilly. "Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plague't wi' a +drucken wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past +Donal's door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon +yer coffin, my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests the +coffin on its end, an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's +guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to +Davie, an' tell 'im as ye kin a man wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to +neifer (exchange) wi' him.' Man, that terrified Donal's wife; it did +so." +</P> + +<P> +As we delved up the twisting road between two fields, that leads to the +farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another +mourner who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. +</P> + +<P> +"We must all fade as a leaf," said Lang Tammas. +</P> + +<P> +"So we maun, so we maun," admitted the newcomer. "They say," he added, +solemnly, "as Little Rathie has left a full teapot." +</P> + +<P> +The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district +stored their gains. +</P> + +<P> +"He was thrifty," said Tammas Haggart, "an' shrewd, too, was Little +Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special +weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' +farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, +thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, +we're bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'" +</P> + +<P> +"Tod," said Snecky, "there's some sense in that; an' what says the +minister?" +</P> + +<P> +"I d'na kin what he said," admitted Haggart; "but he took Little Rathie +up to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little +Rathie when he cam oot." +</P> + +<P> +The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as +Little Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle "but and +ben"; and I remember how she nipped off Tammas's consolations to go out +and feed the hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round +the end of the house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the +precentor, who, as an Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners +inside. The post of distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but +it is not given to every one to be a relative of the deceased, and +there is always much competition and genteelly concealed disappointment +over the few open vacancies. The window of the room was decently +veiled, but the mourners outside knew what was happening within, and +that it was not all prayer, neither mourning. A few of the more +reverent uncovered their heads at intervals; but it would be idle to +deny that there was a feeling that Little Rathie's daughter was +favouring Tammas and others somewhat invidiously. Indeed, Robbie +Gibruth did not scruple to remark that she had made "an inauspeecious +beginning." Tammas Haggart, who was melancholy when not sarcastic, +though he brightened up wonderfully at funerals, reminded Robbie that +disappointment is the lot of man on his earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart +knew who were to be invited back after the burial to the farm, and was +inclined to make much of his position. The secret would doubtless have +been wormed from him had not public attention been directed into +another channel. A prayer was certainly being offered up inside; but +the voice was not the voice of the minister. +</P> + +<P> +Lang Tammas told me afterwards that it had seemed at one time "very +questionable" whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. +The incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterwards satisfactorily +explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a +burial in a case where the minister had not prayed over the "corp." +There had even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend +Alexander Kewans, a "stickit minister," but not of the Auld Licht +persuasion, had withdrawn in dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct +the ceremony instead of himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious +questions, a pillar of the Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at +his finger-ends, a sad want of words at the very time when he needed +them most, incapacitated him for prayer in public, and it was +providential that Bowie proved himself a man of parts. But Tammas +tells me that the wright grossly abused his position, by praying at +such length that Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress had to +rise and hang the pot on the fire higher up the joist, lest its +contents should burn before the return from the funeral. Loury grew +the sky, and more and more anxious the face of Little Rathie's +daughter, and still Bowie prayed on. Had it not been for the +impatience of the precentor and the grumbling of the mourners outside, +there is no saying when the remains would have been lifted through the +"bole," or little window. +</P> + +<P> +Hearses had hardly come in at this time and the coffin was carried by +the mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians +behind wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirkyard, showing +startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until the +earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male +relative seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. +Sidling up to the favoured mourners, he remarked casually and in the +most emotionless tone he could assume: "They're expec'in ye to stap +doon the length o' Little Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, +nae refoosal, Da-avit; ye was aye a guid friend till him, an' it's +onything a body can do for him noo." +</P> + +<P> +Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided +at Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and +sober sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of +a "lippy" of shortbread and a "brew" of toddy; but open Bibles lay on +the table, and the eyes of each were on his neighbours to catch them +transgressing, and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! +there is no Bowie nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="chap12"></A> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +CHAPTER XII +</H3> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A LITERARY CLUB +</H3> + +<P> +The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most +notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of +Gavin Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his +mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle +over the question, Is literature necessarily immoral? It was a +fighting club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, god-fearing +members dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have +another look at the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against +letters, was in sight they wandered off, but when there were no spies +abroad they slunk up the stair. The attendance was greatest on dark +nights, though Gavin himself and some other characters would have +marched straight to the meeting in broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who +did not think much of Milton's devil, had married a gypsy woman for an +experiment, and the Coat of Many Colours did not know where his wife +was. As a rule, however, the members were wild bachelors. When they +married they had to settle down. +</P> + +<P> +Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the +club's being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should +never have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible town when Tammas +Haggart then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars's supposed approval of +the club. Mr. Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart +succeeded, and it was well known that he had advised the authorities to +grant the use of the little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. +As he solemnly warned his congregation against attending the meetings +the position he had taken up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at +the manse with Sanders Whamond to remonstrate. The minister, however, +harangued them on their sinfulness in daring to question the like of +him, and they had to retire vanquished though dissatisfied. Then came +the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was never properly secured by +the Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in hand. It was Tammas who +wrote anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the scarlet woman, and, +strange to say, this led to the club's being allowed to meet in the +town-house. The minister, after many days, discovered who his +correspondent was, and succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to the +manse. There, with the door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, +after his usual manner when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This +sudden fit of deafness so exasperated the minister that he flung a book +at Tammas. The scene that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses +can have witnessed. According to Tammas the book had hardly reached +the floor when the minister turned white. Tammas picked up the +missile. It was a Bible. The two men looked at each other. Beneath +the window Mr. Byars's children were prattling. His wife was moving +about in the next room, little thinking what had happened. The +minister held out his hand for the Bible, but Tammas shook his head, +and then Mr. Byars shrank into a chair. Finally, it was arranged that +if Tammas kept the affair to himself the minister would say a good word +to the Bailie about the literary club. After that the stone-breaker +used to go from house to house, twisting his mouth to the side and +remarking that he could tell such a tale of Mr. Byars as would lead to +a split in the kirk. When the town-house was locked on the club Tammas +spoke out, but though the scandal ran from door to door, as I have seen +a pig in a fluster do, the minister did not lose his place. Tammas +preserved the Bible, and showed it complacently to visitors as the +present he got from Mr. Byars. The minister knew this, and it turned +his temper sour. Tammas's proud moments, after that, were when he +passed the minister. +</P> + +<P> +Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round +it in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable +members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakspeare. It was +a low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and +peeling walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater +forward, and its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and +looked at you as you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings +were held regularly every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit +up the curious company who sat round the table shaking their heads over +Shelley's mysticism, or requiring to be called to order because they +would not wait their turn to deny an essayist's assertion that +Berkeley's style was superior to David Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, +and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred to as Rob or Robbie. +</P> + +<P> +There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what +they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with +the flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are +scores and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college +(by what a struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their +professions, and others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be +a patch on their parents. In that literary club there were men of a +reading so wide and catholic that it might put some graduates of the +universities to shame, and of an intellect so keen that had it not had +a crook in it their fame would have crossed the county. Most of them +had but a thread-bare existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth +open before you, and some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in +Thrums), yet others wandered into the world and compelled it to +recognize them. There is a London barrister whose father belonged to +the club. Not many years ago a man died on the staff of the <I>Times</I>, +who, when he was a weaver near Thrums, was one of the club's prominent +members. He taught himself shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and +got a post on a Perth paper, afterwards on the <I>Scotsman</I> and the +<I>Witness</I>, and finally on the <I>Times</I>. Several other men of his type +had a history worth reading, but it is not for me to write. Yet I may +say that there is still at least one of the original members of the +club left behind in Thrums to whom some of the literary dandies might +lift their hats. +</P> + +<P> +Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher; a lank, long-armed +man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. +To the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently +in the fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and +linties to twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made +the lime from the tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed oil, +which is boiled until thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn +and stretched with the hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous +hare-snarer at a time when the ploughman looked upon this form of +poaching as his perquisite. The snare was of wire, so constructed that +the hare entangled itself the more when trying to escape, and it was +placed across the little roads through the fields to which hares +confine themselves, with a heavy stone attached to it by a string. +Once Gavin caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did not discover +his mistake until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to weave +for two months. The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more +exciting, and women engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of +Gavin that he was on one occasion chased by a gamekeeper over moor and +hill for twenty miles, and that by and by when the one sank down +exhausted so did the other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring +at each other. The poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it +may seem, is the man whose eloquence at the club has not been forgotten +in fifty years. "Thus did he stand," I have been told recently, +"exclaiming in language sublime that the soul shall bloom in immortal +youth through the ruin and wrack of time." +</P> + +<P> +Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, +which was afterwards published in <I>Chambers's Journal</I>. He was +celebrated for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member +of the club whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an +itinerant match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the +literary spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often +bare-footed, wearing at the best a thin ragged coat that had been black +but was green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold +them. He brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to +recite long screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the +versification and the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do +not care to write. He went without many a dinner in order to buy a +book. +</P> + +<P> +The Coat of Many Colours and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who +gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the +club. The Coat of Many Colours was so called because he wore a garment +consisting of patches of cloth of various colours sewed together. It +hung down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, +but he was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring +that he was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men, when he +admonished them for using strong language, for at such a time he would +remind them of the woe which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been +notorious in her day for evil-speaking, especially for her free use of +the word handless, which she flung a hundred times in a week at her +man, and even at her old mother. Her punishment was to have a son born +without hands. The Coat of Many Colours also told of the liar who +exclaimed, "If this is not gospel true may I stand here for ever," and +who is standing on that spot still, only nobody knows where it is. +George Wishart was the Coat's hero, and often he has told in the Square +how Wishart saved Dundee. It was the time when the plague lay over +Scotland, and in Dundee they saw it approaching from the West in the +form of a great black cloud. They fell on their knees and prayed, +crying to the cloud to pass them by, and while they prayed it came +nearer. Then they looked around for the most holy man among them, to +intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes turned to George Wishart, +and he stood up, stretching his arms to the cloud and prayed, and it +rolled back. Thus Dundee was saved from the plague, but when Wishart +ended his prayer he was alone, for the people had all returned to their +homes. Less of a genuine man than the Coat of Many Colours was Silva +Robbie, who had horrid fits of laughing in the middle of his prayers, +and even fell in a paroxysm of laughter from the chair on which he +stood. In the club he said things not to be borne, though logical up +to a certain point. +</P> + +<P> +Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being +celebrated for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing +about him, often spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger +and asked him to say a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as +a specimen, he could not do it. "Na, na," Tammas would say, after a +few trials, referring to sarcasm, "she's no a critter to force. Ye +maun lat her tak her ain time. Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' +syne, again, oot she comes in a gush." The most sarcastic thing the +stone-breaker ever said was frequently marvelled over in Thrums, both +before and behind his face, but unfortunately no one could ever +remember what it was. The subject, however, was Cha Tamson's potato +pit. There is little doubt that it was a fit of sarcasm that induced +Tammas to marry a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars would not join them, so +Tammas had himself married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay little gypsy king, +and after that the minister re-married them. The marriage over the +tongs is a thing to scandalise any well-brought-up person, for before +he joined the couple's hands, Jimmy jumped about in a startling way, +uttering wild gibberish, and after the ceremony was over there was +rough work, with incantations and blowing on pipes. Tammas always held +that this marriage turned out better than he had expected, though he +had his trials like other married men. Among them was Chirsty's way of +climbing on to the dresser to get at the higher part of the plate-rack. +One evening I called in to have a smoke with the stone-breaker, and +while we were talking Chirsty climbed the dresser. The next moment she +was on the floor on her back, wailing, but Tammas smoked on +imperturbably. "Do you not see what has happened, man?" I cried. +"Ou," said Tammas, "she's aye fa'in aff the dresser." +</P> + +<P> +Of the schoolmasters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie +was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the school-house had a +way of sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on +their legs at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, +and rolling out lines from Homer, that made the inn-keeper look +fearfully to the fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came +together although the table was between them. The old dominie had an +advantage in being the shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as +he spoke, while gaunt Mr. Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's +arguments were a series of nails that he knocked into the table, and he +did it in a workmanlike manner. Mr. Dickie, though he kept firm on his +feet, swayed his body until by and by his head was rotating in a large +circle. The mathematical figure he made was a cone revolving on its +apex. Gavin's reinstalment in the chair year after year was made by +the disappointed dominie the subject of some tart verses which he +called an epode, but Gavin crushed him when they were read before the +club. "Satire," he said, "is a legitimate weapon, used with michty +effect by Swift, Sammy Butler, and others, and I dount object to being +made the subject of creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife +(knife), but them as is not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll +a' observe that Mr. McRittie's fingers is bleedin'." All eyes were +turned upon the dominie's hand, and though he pocketed it smartly +several members had seen the blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at +the club after that, though he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. +Mr. Dickie was a teacher in Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He +wandered from town to town, reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one +who would give him a dram, and sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in +the street, crying, "Poor Mr. Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!" +</P> + +<P> +The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school +when there were scholars, and weaved when there were none. He had a +song that was published in a half-penny leaflet about the famous +lawsuit instituted by the farmer of Teuchbusses against the Laird of +Drumlee. The laird was alleged to have taken from the land of +Teuchbusses sufficient broom to make a besom thereof, and I am not +certain that the case is settled to this day. It was Dite or another +member of the club who wrote, "The Wife o' Deeside," of all the songs +of the period the one that had the greatest vogue in the county at a +time when Lord Jeffrey was cursed at every fireside in Thrums. The +wife of Deeside was tried for the murder of her servant who had +infatuated the young laird, and had it not been that Jeffrey defended +her she would, in the words of the song, have "hung like a troot." It +is not easy now to conceive the rage against Jeffrey when the woman was +acquitted. The song was sung and recited in the streets, at the +smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to the shaking of fists and the +grinding of teeth. It began— +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> +"Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside,<BR> +Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside,<BR> +She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride,<BR> +Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside."<BR> +</P> + +<BR> + +<P> +Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for +electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry +crowds pressed close to howl, "Wife o' Deeside!" at him. A contingent +from Thrums was there, and it was long afterwards told of Sam'l Todd, +by himself, that he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of +earth. +</P> + +<P> +Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one +taciturn member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know +that he had a secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and +invented a loom for the weaving of linen such as has not been seen +before or since. In the day-time he kept guard over his "shop," into +which no one was allowed to enter, and the fame of his loom was so +great that he had to watch over it with a gun. At night he weaved, and +when the result at last pleased him he made the linen into shirts, all +of which he stitched together with his own hands, even to the +buttonholes. He sent one shirt to the Queen, and another to the +Duchess of Athole, mentioning a very large price for them, which he +got. Then he destroyed his wonderful loom, and how it was made no one +will ever know. Johnny only took to literature after he had made his +name, and he seldom spoke at the club except when ghosts and the like +were the subject of debate, as they tended to be when the farmer of +Muckle Haws could get in a word. Muckle Haws was fascinated by +Johnny's sneers at superstition, and sometimes on dark nights the +inventor had to make his courage good by seeing the farmer past the +doulie yates (ghost gates), which Muckle Haws had to go perilously near +on his way home. Johnny was a small man, but it was the burly farmer +who shook at sight of the gates standing out white in the night. White +gates have an evil name still, and Muckle Haws was full of horrors as +he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's arm. It was on such a night, +he would remember, that he saw the White Lady go through the gates +greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while water kelpies +laughed and splashed in the pools, and the witches danced in a ring +round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman was +murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the stump +of a tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of Croup, +where the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out at +such a time. The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the +ruined castle of Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, +and dead knights and ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and +the devil himself flapping his wings on the ramparts. +</P> + +<P> +When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song +fired the blood with their own poems about taxation and the +depopulation of the Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to +door they made their livelihood. +</P> + +<P> +Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying +stationers, as they were called, who visited the square periodically +carrying their wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they +had their stall and even sold books by auction. The flying stationer +best known to Thrums was Sandersy Riach, who was stricken from head to +foot with the palsy, and could only speak with a quaver in consequence. +Sandersy brought to the members of the club all the great books he +could get second hand, but his stock-in-trade was Thrummy Cap and +Akenstaff, the Fishwives of Buckhaven, the Devil upon Two Sticks, +Gilderoy, Sir James the Rose, the Brownie of Badenoch, the Ghaist of +Firenden, and the like. It was from Sandersy that Tammas Haggart +bought his copy of Shakspeare, whom Mr. Dishart could never abide. +Tammas kept what he had done from his wife, but Chirsty saw a +deterioration setting in and told the minister of her suspicions. Mr. +Dishart was newly placed at the time and very vigorous, and the way he +shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. The minister pulled Tammas +the one way and Gavin pulled him the other, but Mr. Dishart was not the +man to be beaten, and he landed Tammas in the Auld Licht kirk before +the year was out. Chirsty buried Shakspeare in the yard. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> +<hr class="full" noshade> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLLS***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 20918-h.txt or 20918-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/9/1/20918">http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/9/1/20918</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: +<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL">http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL</a> + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** +</pre> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/20918-h/images/img-128.jpg b/20918-h/images/img-128.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b50c262 --- /dev/null +++ b/20918-h/images/img-128.jpg diff --git a/20918-h/images/img-front.jpg b/20918-h/images/img-front.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..32a465f --- /dev/null +++ b/20918-h/images/img-front.jpg diff --git a/20918.txt b/20918.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..27c305a --- /dev/null +++ b/20918.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4853 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Auld Licht Idylls, by J. M. Barrie + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Auld Licht Idylls + + +Author: J. M. Barrie + + + +Release Date: March 27, 2007 [eBook #20918] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLLS*** + + +E-text prepared by Al Haines + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 20918-h.htm or 20918-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/9/1/20918/20918-h/20918-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/9/1/20918/20918-h.zip) + + +Transcriber's note: + + The volume from which this e-book was created contained two books, + _Auld Licht Idylls_ and _Better Dead_. The Introduction discusses + both. + + + + + +The Novels, Tales and Sketches of J. M. Barrie + +AULD LICHT IDYLLS + + + + + + + +[Frontispiece: Photograph of J. M. Barrie] + + + +Published in New York by +Charles Scribner's Sons +1896 + +Author's Edition +Copyright, 1896, by Charles Scribner's Sons. + + + + +TO + +FREDERICK GREENWOOD + + + + +INTRODUCTION + +This is the only American edition of my books produced with my +sanction, and I have special reasons for thanking Messrs. Scribner for +its publication; they let it be seen, by this edition, what are my +books, for I know not how many volumes purporting to be by me, are in +circulation in America which are no books of mine. I have seen several +of these, bearing such titles as "Two of Them," "An Auld Licht Manse," +"A Tillyloss Scandal," and some of them announce themselves as author's +editions, or published by arrangement with the author. They consist of +scraps collected and published without my knowledge, and I entirely +disown them. I have written no books save those that appear in this +edition. + +I am asked to write a few lines on the front page of each of these +volumes, to say something, as I take it, about how they came into +being. Well, they were written mainly to please one woman who is now +dead, but as I am writing a little book about my mother I shall say no +more of her here. + +Many of the chapters in "Auld Licht Idylls" first appeared in a +different form in the _St. James's Gazette_, and there is little doubt +that they would never have appeared anywhere but for the encouragement +given to me by the editor of that paper. It was pressure from him that +induced me to write a second "Idyll" and a third after I thought the +first completed the picture, he set me thinking seriously of these +people, and though he knew nothing of them himself, may be said to have +led me back to them. It seems odd, and yet I am not the first nor the +fiftieth who has left Thrums at sunrise to seek the life-work that was +all the time awaiting him at home. And we seldom sally forth a second +time. I had always meant to be a novelist, but London, I thought, was +the quarry. + +For long I had an uneasy feeling that no one save the editor read my +contributions, for I was leading a lonely life in London, and not +another editor could I find in the land willing to print the Scotch +dialect. The magazines, Scotch and English, would have nothing to say +to me--I think I tried them all with "The Courting of T'nowhead's +Bell," but it never found shelter until it got within book-covers. In +time, however, I found another paper, the _British Weekly_, with an +editor as bold as my first (or shall we say he suffered from the same +infirmity?). He revived my drooping hopes, and I was again able to +turn to the only kind of literary work I now seemed to have much +interest in. He let me sign my articles, which was a big step for me +and led to my having requests for work from elsewhere, but always the +invitations said "not Scotch--the public will not read dialect." By +this time I had put together from these two sources and from my +drawerful of rejected stories this book of "Auld Licht Idylls," and in +its collected form it again went the rounds. I offered it to certain +firms as a gift, but they would not have it even at that. And then, on +a day came actually an offer for it from Messrs. Hodder and Stoughton. +For this, and for many another kindness, I had the editor of the +_British Weekly_ to thank. Thus the book was published at last, and as +for Messrs. Hodder and Stoughton I simply dare not say what a generous +firm I found them, lest it send too many aspirants to their doors. +But, indeed, I have had the pleasantest relations with all my +publishers. + +"Better Dead" is, by my wish, no longer on sale in Great Britain, and I +should have preferred not to see it here, for it is in no way worthy of +the beautiful clothes Messrs. Scribner have given it. Weighted with +"An Edinburgh Eleven" it would rest very comfortably in the mill dam, +but the publishers have reasons for its inclusion; among them, I +suspect, is a well-grounded fear that if I once began to hack and hew, +I should not stop until I had reduced the edition to two volumes. This +juvenile effort is a field of prickles into which none may be advised +to penetrate--I made the attempt lately in cold blood and came back +shuddering, but I had read enough to have the profoundest reason for +declining to tell what the book is about. And yet I have a sentimental +interest in "Better Dead," for it was my first--published when I had +small hope of getting any one to accept the Scotch--and there was a +week when I loved to carry it in my pocket and did not think it dead +weight. Once I almost saw it find a purchaser. She was a pretty girl +and it lay on a bookstall, and she read some pages and smiled, and then +retired, and came back and began another chapter. Several times she +did this, and I stood in the background trembling with hope and fear. +At last she went away without the book, but I am still of opinion that, +had it been just a little bit better, she would have bought it. + + + + +CONTENTS + + I. THE SCHOOLHOUSE + II. THRUMS + III. THE AULD LICHT KIRK + IV. LADS AND LASSES + V. THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS + VI. THE OLD DOMINIE + VII. CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY + VIII. THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL + IX. DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES + X. A VERY OLD FAMILY + XI. LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL" + XII. A LITERARY CLUB + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + J. M. BARRIE . . . . . . . . . _Frontispiece_ + + Sabbath at T'nowhead + + + + +AULD LIGHT IDYLLS + + +CHAPTER I + +THE SCHOOLHOUSE + +Early this morning I opened a window in my schoolhouse in the glen of +Quharity, awakened by the shivering of a starving sparrow against the +frosted glass. As the snowy sash creaked in my hand, he made off to +the water-spout that suspends its "tangles" of ice over a gaping tank, +and, rebounding from that, with a quiver of his little black breast, +bobbed through the network of wire and joined a few of his fellows in a +forlorn hop round the henhouse in search of food. Two days ago my +hilarious bantam-cock, saucy to the last, my cheeriest companion, was +found frozen in his own water-trough, the corn-saucer in three pieces +by his side. Since then I have taken the hens into the house. At +meal-times they litter the hearth with each other's feathers; but for +the most part they give little trouble, roosting on the rafters of the +low-roofed kitchen among staves and fishing-rods. + +Another white blanket has been spread upon the glen since I looked out +last night; for over the same wilderness of snow that has met my gaze +for a week, I see the steading of Waster Lunny sunk deeper into the +waste. The schoolhouse, I suppose, serves similarly as a snowmark for +the people at the farm. Unless that is Waster Lunny's grieve foddering +the cattle in the snow, not a living thing is visible. The ghostlike +hills that pen in the glen have ceased to echo to the sharp crack of +the sportsman's gun (so clear in the frosty air as to be a warning to +every rabbit and partridge in the valley); and only giant Catlaw shows +here and there a black ridge, rearing its head at the entrance to the +glen and struggling ineffectually to cast off his shroud. Most wintry +sign of all, I think as I close the window hastily, is the open +farm-stile, its poles lying embedded in the snow where they were last +flung by Waster Lunny's herd. Through the still air comes from a +distance a vibration as of a tuning-fork: a robin, perhaps, alighting +on the wire of a broken fence. + +In the warm kitchen, where I dawdle over my breakfast, the widowed +bantam-hen has perched on the back of my drowsy cat. It is needless to +go through the form of opening the school to-day; for, with the +exception of Waster Lunny's girl, I have had no scholars for nine days. +Yesterday she announced that there would be no more schooling till it +was fresh, "as she wasna comin';" and indeed, though the smoke from the +farm chimneys is a pretty prospect for a snowed-up schoolmaster, the +trudge between the two houses must be weary work for a bairn. As for +the other children, who have to come from all parts of the hills and +glen, I may not see them for weeks. Last year the school was +practically deserted for a month. A pleasant outlook, with the March +examinations staring me in the face, and an inspector fresh from +Oxford. I wonder what he would say if he saw me to-day digging myself +out of the schoolhouse with the spade I now keep for the purpose in my +bedroom. + +The kail grows brittle from the snow in my dank and cheerless garden. +A crust of bread gathers timid pheasants round me. The robins, I see, +have made the coalhouse their home. Waster Lunny's dog never barks +without rousing my sluggish cat to a joyful response. It is Dutch +courage with the birds and beasts of the glen, hard driven for food; +but I look attentively for them in these long forenoons, and they have +begun to regard me as one of themselves. My breath freezes, despite my +pipe, as I peer from the door; and with a fortnight-old newspaper I +retire to the ingle-nook. The friendliest thing I have seen to-day is +the well-smoked ham suspended from my kitchen rafters. It was a gift +from the farm of Tullin, with a load of peats, the day before the snow +began to fall. I doubt if I have seen a cart since. + +This afternoon I was the not altogether passive spectator of a curious +scene in natural history. My feet encased in stout "tackety" boots, I +had waded down two of Waster Lunny's fields to the glen burn: in summer +the never-failing larder from which, with wriggling worm or garish fly, +I can any morning whip a savoury breakfast; in the winter-time the only +thing in the valley that defies the ice-king's chloroform. I watched +the water twisting black and solemn through the snow, the ragged ice on +its edge proof of the toughness of the struggle with the frost, from +which it has, after all, crept only half victorious. A bare wild +rosebush on the further bank was violently agitated, and then there ran +from its root a black-headed rat with wings. Such was the general +effect. I was not less interested when my startled eyes divided this +phenomenon into its component parts, and recognized in the disturbance +on the opposite bank only another fierce struggle among the hungry +animals for existence: they need no professor to teach them the +doctrine of the survival of the fittest. A weasel had gripped a +water-hen (whit-rit and beltie they are called in these parts) cowering +at the root of the rose-bush, and was being dragged down the bank by +the terrified bird, which made for the water as its only chance of +escape. In less disadvantageous circumstances the weasel would have +made short work of his victim; but as he only had the bird by the tail, +the prospects of the combatants were equalized. It was the tug-of-war +being played with a life as the stakes. "If I do not reach the water," +was the argument that went on in the heaving little breast of the one, +"I am a dead bird." "If this water-hen," reasoned the other, "reaches +the burn, my supper vanishes with her." Down the sloping bank the hen +had distinctly the best of it, but after that came a yard of level +snow, and here she tugged and screamed in vain. I had so far been an +unobserved spectator; but my sympathies were with the beltie, and, +thinking it high time to interfere, I jumped into the water. The +water-hen gave one mighty final tug and toppled into the burn; while +the weasel viciously showed me his teeth, and then stole slowly up the +bank to the rose-bush, whence, "girning," he watched me lift his +exhausted victim from the water, and set off with her for the +schoolhouse. Except for her draggled tail, she already looks +wonderfully composed, and so long as the frost holds I shall have +little difficulty in keeping her with me. On Sunday I found a frozen +sparrow, whose heart had almost ceased to beat, in the disused pig-sty, +and put him for warmth into my breast-pocket. The ungrateful little +scrub bolted without a word of thanks about ten minutes afterwards to +the alarm of my cat, which had not known his whereabouts. + +I am alone in the schoolhouse. On just such an evening as this last +year my desolation drove me to Waster Lunny, where I was storm-stayed +for the night. The recollection decides me to court my own warm +hearth, to challenge my right hand again to a game at the "dambrod" +against my left. I do not lock the schoolhouse door at nights; for +even a highwayman (there is no such luck) would be received with open +arms, and I doubt if there be a barred door in all the glen. But it is +cosier to put on the shutters. The road to Thrums has lost itself +miles down the valley. I wonder what they are doing out in the world. +Though I am the Free Church precentor in Thrums (ten pounds a year, and +the little town is five miles away), they have not seen me for three +weeks. A packman whom I thawed yesterday at my kitchen fire tells me, +that last Sabbath only the Auld Lichts held service. Other people +realized that they were snowed up. Far up the glen, after it twists +out of view, a manse and half a dozen thatched cottages that are there +may still show a candle light, and the crumbling gravestones keep cold +vigil round the grey old kirk. Heavy shadows fade into the sky to the +north. A flake trembles against the window; but it is too cold for +much snow to-night. The shutter bars the outer world from the +schoolhouse. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THRUMS + +Thrums is the name I give here to the handful of houses jumbled +together in a cup, which is the town nearest the schoolhouse. Until +twenty years ago its every other room, earthen-floored and showing the +rafters overhead, had a handloom, and hundreds of weavers lived and +died Thoreaus "ben the hoose" without knowing it. In those days the +cup overflowed and left several houses on the top of the hill, where +their cold skeletons still stand. The road that climbs from the +square, which is Thrums's heart, to the north is so steep and straight, +that in a sharp frost children hunker at the top and are blown down +with a roar and a rush on rails of ice. At such times, when viewed +from the cemetery where the traveller from the schoolhouse gets his +first glimpse of the little town, Thrums is but two church steeples and +a dozen red stone patches standing out of a snow-heap. One of the +steeples belongs to the new Free Kirk, and the other to the parish +church, both of which the first Auld Licht minister I knew ran past +when he had not time to avoid them by taking a back wynd. He was but a +pocket edition of a man, who grew two inches after he was called; but +he was so full of the cure of souls, that he usually scudded to it with +his coattails quarrelling behind him. His successor, whom I knew +better, was a greater scholar, and said, "Let us see what this is in +the original Greek," as an ordinary man might invite a friend to +dinner; but he never wrestled as Mr. Dishart, his successor, did with +the pulpit cushions, nor flung himself at the pulpit door. Nor was he +so "hard on the Book," as Lang Tammas, the precentor, expressed it, +meaning that he did not bang the Bible with his fist as much as might +have been wished. + +Thrums had been known to me for years before I succeeded the captious +dominie at the schoolhouse in the glen. The dear old soul who +originally induced me to enter the Auld Licht kirk by lamenting the +"want of Christ" in the minister's discourses was my first landlady. +For the last ten years of her life she was bedridden, and only her +interest in the kirk kept her alive. Her case against the minister was +that he did not call to denounce her sufficiently often for her sins, +her pleasure being to hear him bewailing her on his knees as one who +was probably past praying for. She was as sweet and pure a woman as I +ever knew, and had her wishes been horses, she would have sold them and +kept (and looked after) a minister herself. + +There are few Auld Licht communities in Scotland nowadays--perhaps +because people are now so well off, for the most devout Auld Lichts +were always poor, and their last years were generally a grim struggle +with the workhouse. Many a heavy-eyed, back-bent weaver has won his +Waterloo in Thrums fighting on his stumps. There are a score or two of +them left still, for, though there are now two factories in the town, +the clatter of the handloom can yet be heard, and they have been +starving themselves of late until they have saved up enough money to +get another minister. + +The square is packed away in the centre of Thrums, and irregularly +built little houses squeeze close to it like chickens clustering round +a hen. Once the Auld Lichts held property in the square, but other +denominations have bought them out of it, and now few of them are even +to be found in the main streets that make for the rim of the cup. They +live in the kirk-wynd, or in retiring little houses the builder of +which does not seem to have remembered that it is a good plan to have a +road leading to houses until after they were finished. Narrow paths +straggling round gardens, some of them with stunted gates, which it is +commoner to step over than to open, have been formed to reach these +dwellings, but in winter they are running streams, and then the best +way to reach a house such as that of Tammy Mealmaker the wright, +pronounced wir-icht, is over a broken dyke and a pig-sty. Tammy, who +died a bachelor, had been soured in his youth by a disappointment in +love, of which he spoke but seldom. She lived far away in a town to +which he had wandered in the days when his blood ran hot, and they +became engaged. Unfortunately, however, Tammy forgot her name, and he +never knew the address; so there the affair ended, to his silent grief. +He admitted himself, over his snuff-mull of an evening, that he was a +very ordinary character, but a certain halo of horror was cast over the +whole family by their connection with little Joey Sutie, who was +pointed at in Thrums as the laddie that whistled when he went past the +minister. Joey became a pedlar, and was found dead one raw morning +dangling over a high wall within a few miles of Thrums. When climbing +the dyke his pack had slipped back, the strap round his neck, and +choked him. + +You could generally tell an Auld Licht in Thrums when you passed him, +his dull vacant face wrinkled over a heavy wob. He wore tags of yarn +round his trousers beneath the knee, that looked like ostentatious +garters, and frequently his jacket of corduroy was put on beneath his +waistcoat. If he was too old to carry his load on his back, he wheeled +it on a creaking barrow, and when he met a friend they said, "Ay, +Jeames," and "Ay, Davit," and then could think of nothing else. At +long intervals they passed through the square, disappearing or coming +into sight round the town-house which stands on the south side of it, +and guards the entrance to a steep brae that leads down and then twists +up on its lonely way to the county town. I like to linger over the +square, for it was from an upper window in it that I got to know +Thrums. On Saturday nights, when the Auld Licht young men came into +the square dressed and washed to look at the young women errand-going, +and to laugh sometime afterwards to each other, it presented a glare of +light; and here even came the cheap jacks and the Fair Circassian, and +the showman, who, besides playing "The Mountain Maid and the Shepherd's +Bride," exhibited part of the tail of Balaam's ass, the helm of Noah's +ark, and the tartan plaid in which Flora McDonald wrapped Prince +Charlie. More select entertainment, such as Shuffle Kitty's waxwork, +whose motto was, "A rag to pay, and in you go," were given in a hall +whose approach was by an outside stair. On the Muckle Friday, the fair +for which children storing their pocket money would accumulate +sevenpence-half-penny in less than six months, the square was crammed +with gingerbread stalls, bag-pipers, fiddlers, and monstrosities who +were gifted with second sight. There was a bearded man, who had +neither legs nor arms, and was drawn through the streets in a small +cart by four dogs. By looking at you he could see all the clockwork +inside, as could a boy who was led about by his mother at the end of a +string. Every Friday there was the market, when a dozen ramshackle +carts containing vegetables and cheap crockery filled the centre of the +square, resting in line on their shafts. A score of farmers' wives or +daughters in old-world garments squatted against the town-house within +walls of butter on cabbage-leaves, eggs and chickens. Towards evening +the voice of the buckie-man shook the square, and rival fish-cadgers, +terrible characters who ran races on horseback, screamed libels at each +other over a fruiterer's barrow. Then it was time for douce Auld +Lichts to go home, draw their stools near the fire, spread their red +handkerchiefs over their legs to prevent their trousers getting singed, +and read their "Pilgrim's Progress." + +In my schoolhouse, however, I seem to see the square most readily in +the Scotch mist which so often filled it, loosening the stones and +choking the drains. There was then no rattle of rain against my +window-sill, nor dancing of diamond drops on the roofs, but blobs of +water grew on the panes of glass to reel heavily down them. Then the +sodden square would have shed abundant tears if you could have taken it +in your hands and wrung it like a dripping cloth. At such a time the +square would be empty but for one vegetable cart left in the care of a +lean collie, which, tied to the wheel, whined and shivered underneath. +Pools of water gather in the coarse sacks, that have been spread over +the potatoes and bundles of greens, which turn to manure in their +lidless barrels. The eyes of the whimpering dog never leave a black +close over which hangs the sign of the Bull, probably the refuge of the +hawker. At long intervals a farmer's gig rumbles over the bumpy, +ill-paved square, or a native, with his head buried in his coat, peeps +out of doors, skurries across the way, and vanishes. Most of the +leading shops are here, and the decorous draper ventures a few yards +from the pavement to scan the sky, or note the effect of his new +arrangement in scarves. Planted against his door is the butcher, +Henders Todd, white-aproned, and with a knife in his hand, gazing +interestedly at the draper, for a mere man may look at an elder. The +tinsmith brings out his steps, and, mounting them, stealthily removes +the saucepans and pepper-pots that dangle on a wire above his +sign-board. Pulling to his door he shuts out the foggy light that +showed in his solder-strewn workshop. The square is deserted again. A +bundle of sloppy parsley slips from the hawker's cart and topples over +the wheel in driblets. The puddles in the sacks overflow and run +together. The dog has twisted his chain round a barrel and yelps +sharply. As if in response comes a rush of other dogs. A terrified +fox-terrier tears across the square with half a score of mongrels, the +butcher's mastiff and some collies at his heels; he is doubtless a +stranger who has insulted them by his glossy coat. For two seconds the +square shakes to an invasion of dogs, and then, again, there is only +one dog in sight. + +No one will admit the Scotch mist. It "looks saft." The tinsmith +"wudna wonder but what it was makkin for rain." Tammas Haggart and +Pete Lunan dander into sight bareheaded, and have to stretch out their +hands to discover what the weather is like. By and by they come to a +standstill to discuss the immortality of the soul, and then they are +looking silently at the Bull. Neither speaks, but they begin to move +toward the inn at the same time, and its door closes on them before +they know what they are doing. A few minutes afterwards Jinny Dundas, +who is Pete's wife, runs straight for the Bull in her short gown, which +is tucked up very high, and emerges with her husband soon afterwards. +Jinny is voluble, but Pete says nothing. Tammas follows later, putting +his head out at the door first, and looking cautiously about him to see +if any one is in sight. Pete is a U. P., and may be left to his fate, +but the Auld Licht minister thinks that though it be hard work, Tammas +is worth saving. + +To the Auld Licht of the past there were three degrees of +damnation--auld kirk, play-acting, chapel. Chapel was the name always +given to the English Church, of which I am too much an Auld Licht +myself to care to write even now. To belong to the chapel was, in +Thrums, to be a Roman Catholic, and the boy who flung a clod of earth +at the English minister--who called the Sabbath Sunday--or dropped a +"divet" down his chimney was held to be in the right way. The only +pleasant story Thrums could tell of the chapel was that its steeple +once fell. It is surprising that an English church was ever suffered +to be built in such a place; though probably the county gentry had +something to do with it. They travelled about too much to be good men. +Small though Thrums used to be, it had four kirks in all before the +Disruption, and then another, which split into two immediately +afterwards. The spire of the parish church, known as the auld kirk, +commands a view of the square, from which the entrance to the kirkyard +would be visible, if it were not hidden by the town-house. The +kirkyard has long been crammed, and is not now in use, but the church +is sufficiently large to hold nearly all the congregations in Thrums. +Just at the gate lived Pete Todd, the father of Sam'l, a man of whom +the Auld Lichts had reason to be proud. Pete was an every-day man at +ordinary times, and was even said, when his wife, who had been long +ill, died, to have clapped his hands and exclaimed, "Hip, hip, hurrah!" +adding only as an afterthought, "The Lord's will be done." But +midsummer was his great opportunity. Then took place the rouping of +the seats in the parish church. The scene was the kirk itself, and the +seats being put up to auction were knocked down to the highest bidder. +This sometimes led to the breaking of the peace. Every person was +present who was at all particular as to where he sat, and an auctioneer +was engaged for the day. He rouped the kirk-seats like potato-drills, +beginning by asking for a bid. Every seat was put up to auction +separately; for some were much more run after than others, and the men +were instructed by their wives what to bid for. Often the women joined +in, and as they bid excitedly against each other the church rang with +opprobrious epithets. A man would come to the roup late, and learn +that the seat he wanted had been knocked down. He maintained that he +had been unfairly treated, or denounced the local laird to whom the +seat-rents went. If he did not get the seat he would leave the kirk. +Then the woman who had forestalled him wanted to know what he meant by +glaring at her so, and the auction was interrupted. Another member +would "thrip down the throat" of the auctioneer that he had a right to +his former seat if he continued to pay the same price for it. The +auctioneer was screamed at for favouring his friends, and at times the +roup became so noisy that men and women had to be forcibly ejected. +Then was Pete's chance. Hovering at the gate, he caught the angry +people on their way home and took them into his workshop by an outside +stair. There he assisted them in denouncing the parish kirk, with the +view of getting them to forswear it. Pete made a good many Auld Lichts +in his time out of unpromising material. + +Sights were to be witnessed in the parish church at times that could +not have been made more impressive by the Auld Lichts themselves. Here +sinful women were grimly taken to task by the minister, who, having +thundered for a time against adultery in general, called upon one +sinner in particular to stand forth. She had to step forward into a +pew near the pulpit, where, alone and friendless, and stared at by the +congregation, she cowered in tears beneath his denunciations. In that +seat she had to remain during the forenoon service. She returned home +alone, and had to come back alone to her solitary seat in the +afternoon. All day no one dared speak to her. She was as much an +object of contumely as the thieves and smugglers whom, in the end of +last century, it was the privilege of Feudal Bailie Wood (as he was +called) to whip round the square. + +It is nearly twenty years since the gardeners had their last "walk" in +Thrums, and they survived all the other benefit societies that walked +once every summer. There was a "weavers' walk" and five or six others, +the "women's walk" being the most picturesque. These were processions +of the members of benefit societies through the square and wynds, and +all the women walked in white, to the number of a hundred or more, +behind the Tilliedrum band, Thrums having in those days no band of its +own. + +From the north-west corner of the square a narrow street sets off, +jerking this way and that as if uncertain what point to make for. Here +lurks the post-office, which had once the reputation of being as +crooked in its ways as the street itself. + +A railway line runs into Thrums now. The sensational days of the +post-office were when the letters were conveyed officially in a +creaking old cart from Tilliedrum. The "pony" had seen better days +than the cart, and always looked as if he were just on the point of +succeeding in running away from it. Hooky Crewe was driver; so-called +because an iron hook was his substitute for a right arm: Robbie +Proctor, the blacksmith, made the hook and fixed it in. Crewe suffered +from rheumatism, and when he felt it coming on he stayed at home. +Sometimes his cart came undone in a snowdrift; when Hooky, extricated +from the fragments by some chance wayfarer, was deposited with his +mail-bag (of which he always kept a grip by the hook) in a farm-house. +It was his boast that his letters always reached their destination +eventually. They might be a long time about it, but "slow and sure" +was his motto. Hooky emphasized his "slow and sure" by taking a snuff. +He was a godsend to the post-mistress, for to his failings or the +infirmities of his gig were charged all delays. + +At the time I write of, the posting of the letter took as long and was +as serious an undertaking as the writing. That means a good deal, for +many of the letters were written to dictation by the Thrums +schoolmaster, Mr. Fleemister, who belonged to the Auld Kirk. He was +one of the few persons in the community who looked upon the despatch of +his letters by the postmistress as his right, and not a favour on her +part; there was a long-standing feud between them accordingly. After a +few tumblers of Widow Stables's treacle-beer--in the concoction of +which she was the acknowledged mistress for miles around--the +schoolmaster would sometimes go the length of hinting that he could get +the postmistress dismissed any day. This mighty power seemed to rest +on a knowledge of "steamed" letters. Thrums had a high respect for the +schoolmaster; but among themselves the weavers agreed that, even if he +did write to the Government, Lizzie Harrison, the postmistress, would +refuse to transmit the letter. The more shrewd ones among us kept +friends with both parties; for, unless you could write "writ-hand," you +could not compose a letter without the schoolmaster's assistance; and, +unless Lizzie was so courteous as to send it to its destination, it +might lie--or so it was thought---much too long in the box. A letter +addressed by the schoolmaster found great disfavour in Lizzie's eyes. +You might explain to her that you had merely called in his assistance +because you were a poor hand at writing yourself, but that was held no +excuse. Some addressed their own envelopes with much labour, and +sought to palm off the whole as their handiwork. It reflects on the +postmistress somewhat that she had generally found them out by next +day, when, if in a specially vixenish mood, she did not hesitate to +upbraid them for their perfidy. + +To post a letter you did not merely saunter to the post-office and drop +it into the box. The cautious correspondent first went into the shop +and explained to Lizzie how matters stood. She kept what she called a +bookseller's shop as well as the post-office; but the supply of books +corresponded exactly to the lack of demand for them, and her chief +trade was in nicknacks, from marbles and money-boxes up to concertinas. +If he found the postmistress in an amiable mood, which was only now and +then, the caller led up craftily to the object of his visit. Having +discussed the weather and the potato-disease, he explained that his +sister Mary, whom Lizzie would remember, had married a fishmonger in +Dundee. The fishmonger had lately started on himself and was doing +well. They had four children. The youngest had had a severe attack of +measles. No news had been got of Mary for twelve months; and Annie, +his other sister, who lived in Thrums, had been at him of late for not +writing. So he had written a few lines; and, in fact, he had the +letter with him. The letter was then produced, and examined by the +postmistress. If the address was in the schoolmaster's handwriting, +she professed her inability to read it. Was this a _t_ or an _l_ or an +_i_? was that a _b_ or a _d_? This was a cruel revenge on Lizzie's +part; for the sender of the letter was completely at her mercy. The +schoolmaster's name being tabooed in her presence, he was unable to +explain that the writing was not his own; and as for deciding between +the _t_'s and _l_'s, he could not do it. Eventually he would be +directed to put the letter into the box. They would do their best with +it, Lizzie said, but in a voice that suggested how little hope she had +of her efforts to decipher it proving successful. + +There was an opinion among some of the people that the letter should +not be stamped by the sender. The proper thing to do was to drop a +penny for the stamp into the box along with the letter, and then Lizzie +would see that it was all right. Lizzie's acquaintance with the +handwriting of every person in the place who could write gave her a +great advantage. You would perhaps drop into her shop some day to make +a purchase, when she would calmly produce a letter you had posted +several days before. In explanation she would tell you that you had +not put a stamp on it, or that she suspected there was money in it, or +that you had addressed it to the wrong place. I remember an old man, a +relative of my own, who happened for once in his life to have several +letters to post at one time. The circumstance was so out of the common +that he considered it only reasonable to make Lizzie a small present. + +Perhaps the postmistress was belled; but if she did not "steam" the +letters and confide their titbits to favoured friends of her own sex, +it is difficult to see how all the gossip got out. The schoolmaster +once played an unmanly trick on her, with the view of catching her in +the act. He was a bachelor who had long been given up by all the maids +in the town. One day, however, he wrote a letter to an imaginary lady +in the county-town, asking her to be his, and going into full +particulars about his income, his age, and his prospects. A male +friend in the secret, at the other end, was to reply, in a lady's +handwriting, accepting him, and also giving personal particulars. The +first letter was written; and an answer arrived in due course--two +days, the schoolmaster said, after date. No other person knew of this +scheme for the undoing of the postmistress, yet in a very short time +the schoolmaster's coming marriage was the talk of Thrums. Everybody +became suddenly aware of the lady's name, of her abode, and of the sum +of money she was to bring her husband. It was even noised abroad that +the schoolmaster had represented his age as a good ten years less than +it was. Then the schoolmaster divulged everything. To his +mortification, he was not quite believed. All the proof he could bring +forward to support his story was this: that time would show whether he +got married or not. Foolish man! this argument was met by another, +which was accepted at once. The lady had jilted the schoolmaster. +Whether this explanation came from the post-office, who shall say? But +so long as he lived the schoolmaster was twitted about the lady who +threw him over. He took his revenge in two ways. He wrote and posted +letters exceedingly abusive of the postmistress. The matter might be +libellous; but then, as he pointed out, she would incriminate herself +if she "brought him up" about it. Probably Lizzie felt his other +insult more. By publishing his suspicions of her on every possible +occasion he got a few people to seal their letters. So bitter was his +feeling against her that he was even willing to supply the wax. + +They know all about post-offices in Thrums now, and even jeer at the +telegraph-boy's uniform. In the old days they gathered round him when +he was seen in the street, and escorted him to his destination in +triumph. That, too, was after Lizzie had gone the way of all the +earth. But perhaps they are not even yet as knowing as they think +themselves. I was told the other day that one of them took out a +postal order, meaning to send the money to a relative, and kept the +order as a receipt. + +I have said that the town is sometimes full of snow. One frosty +Saturday, seven years ago, I trudged into it from the schoolhouse, and +on the Monday morning we could not see Thrums anywhere. + +I was in one of the proud two-storied houses in the place, and could +have shaken hands with my friends without from the upper windows. To +get out of doors you had to walk upstairs. The outlook was a sea of +snow fading into white hills and sky with the quarry standing out red +and ragged to the right like a rock in the ocean. The Auld Licht manse +was gone, but had left its garden-trees behind, their lean branches +soft with snow. Roofs were humps in the white blanket. The spire of +the Established Kirk stood up cold and stiff, like a monument to the +buried inhabitants. + +Those of the natives who had taken the precaution of conveying spades +into their houses the night before, which is my plan at the +schoolhouse, dug themselves out. They hobbled cautiously over the +snow, sometimes sinking into it to their knees, when they stood still +and slowly took in the situation. It had been snowing more or less for +a week, but in a commonplace kind of way, and they had gone to bed +thinking all was well. This night the snow must have fallen as if the +heavens had opened up, determined to shake themselves free of it for +ever. + +The man who first came to himself and saw what was to be done was young +Henders Ramsay. Henders had no fixed occupation, being but an "orra +man" about the place, and the best thing known of him is that his +mother's sister was a Baptist. He feared God, man, nor the minister; +and all the learning he had was obtained from assiduous study of a +grocer's window. But for one brief day he had things his own way in +the town, or, speaking strictly, on the top of it. With a spade, a +broom, and a pickaxe, which sat lightly on his broad shoulders (he was +not even back-bent, and that showed him no respectable weaver), Henders +delved his way to the nearest house, which formed one of a row, and +addressed the inmates down the chimney. They had already been clearing +it at the other end, or his words would have been choked. "You're +snawed up, Davit," cried Henders, in a voice that was entirely +businesslike; "hae ye a spade?" A conversation ensued up and down this +unusual channel of communication. The unlucky householder, taking no +thought of the morrow, was without a spade. But if Henders would clear +away the snow from his door he would be "varra obleeged." Henders, +however, had to come to terms first. "The chairge is saxpence, Davit," +he shouted. Then a haggling ensued. Henders must be neighbourly. A +plate of broth, now--or, say, twopence. But Henders was obdurate. +"I'se nae time to argy-bargy wi' ye, Davit. Gin ye're no willin' to +say saxpence, I'm aff to Will'um Pyatt's. He's buried too." So the +victim had to make up his mind to one of two things; he must either say +saxpence or remain where he was. + +If Henders was "promised," he took good care that no snowed-up +inhabitant should perjure himself. He made his way to a window first, +and, clearing the snow from the top of it, pointed out that he could +not conscientiously proceed further until the debt had been paid. +"Money doon," he cried, as soon as he reached a pane of glass; or, +"Come awa wi' my saxpence noo." + +The belief that this day had not come to Henders unexpectedly was borne +out by the method of the crafty callant. His charges varied from +sixpence to half-a-crown, according to the wealth and status of his +victims; and when, later on, there were rivals in the snow, he had the +discrimination to reduce his minimum fee to threepence. He had the +honour of digging out three ministers at one shilling, one and +threepence, and two shillings respectively. + +Half a dozen times within the next fortnight the town was reburied in +snow. This generally happened in the night-time; but the inhabitants +were not to be caught unprepared again. Spades stood ready to their +hands in the morning, and they fought their way above ground without +Henders Ramsay's assistance. To clear the snow from the narrow wynds +and pends, however, was a task not to be attempted; and the Auld +Lichts, at least, rested content when enough light got into their +workshops to let them see where their looms stood. Wading through beds +of snow they did not much mind; but they wondered what would happen to +their houses when the thaw came. + +The thaw was slow in coming. Snow during the night and several degrees +of frost by day were what Thrums began to accept as a revised order of +nature. Vainly the Thrums doctor, whose practice extends into the +glens, made repeated attempts to reach his distant patients, twice +driving so far into the dreary waste that he could neither go on nor +turn back. A ploughman who contrived to gallop ten miles for him did +not get home for a week. Between the town, which is nowadays an +agricultural centre of some importance, and the outlying farms +communication was cut off for a month; and I heard subsequently of one +farmer who did not see a human being, unconnected with his own farm, +for seven weeks. The schoolhouse, which I managed to reach only two +days behind time, was closed for a fortnight, and even in Thrums there +was only a sprinkling of scholars. + +On Sundays the feeling between the different denominations ran high, +and the middling good folk who did not go to church counted those who +did. In the Established Church there was a sparse gathering, who +waited in vain for the minister. After a time it got abroad that a +flag of distress was flying from the manse, and then they saw that the +minister was storm-stayed. An office-bearer offered to conduct +service; but the others present thought they had done their duty and +went home. The U. P. bell did not ring at all, and the kirk gates were +not opened. The Free Kirk did bravely, however. The attendance in the +forenoon amounted to seven, including the minister; but in the +afternoon there was a turn-out of upwards of fifty. How much +denominational competition had to do with this, none can say; but the +general opinion was that this muster to afternoon service was a piece +of vainglory. Next Sunday all the kirks were on their mettle, and, +though the snow was drifting the whole day, services were general. It +was felt that after the action of the Free Kirk the Establisheds and +the U. P.'s must show what they too were capable of. So, when the +bells rang at eleven o'clock and two, church-goers began to pour out of +every close. If I remember aright, the victory lay with the U. P.'s by +two women and a boy. Of course the Auld Lichts mustered in as great +force as ever. The other kirks never dreamt of competing with them. +What was regarded as a judgment on the Free Kirk for its boastfulness +of spirit on the preceding Sunday happened during the forenoon. While +the service was taking place a huge clod of snow slipped from the roof +and fell right against the church door. It was some time before the +prisoners could make up their minds to leave by the windows. What the +Auld Lichts would have done in a similar predicament I cannot even +conjecture. + +That was the first warning of the thaw. It froze again; there was more +snow; the thaw began in earnest; and then the streets were a sight to +see. There was no traffic to turn the snow to slush, and, where it had +not been piled up in walls a few feet from the houses, it remained in +the narrow ways till it became a lake. It tried to escape through +doorways, when it sank slowly into the floors. Gentle breezes created +a ripple on its surface, and strong winds lifted it into the air and +flung it against the houses. It undermined the heaps of clotted snow +till they tottered like icebergs and fell to pieces. Men made their +way through it on stilts. Had a frost followed, the result would have +been appalling; but there was no more frost that winter. A fortnight +passed before the place looked itself again, and even then congealed +snow stood doggedly in the streets, while the country roads were like +newly ploughed fields after rain. The heat from large fires soon +penetrated through roofs of slate and thatch; and it was quite a common +thing for a man to be flattened to the ground by a slithering of snow +from above just as he opened his door. But it had seldom more than ten +feet to fall. Most interesting of all was the novel sensation +experienced as Thrums began to assume its familiar aspect, and objects +so long buried that they had been half forgotten came back to view and +use. + +Storm-stayed shows used to emphasize the severity of a Thrums winter. +As the name indicates, these were gatherings of travelling booths in +the winter-time. Half a century ago the country was overrun by +itinerant showmen, who went their different ways in summer, but formed +little colonies in the cold weather, when they pitched their tents in +any empty field or disused quarry and huddled together for the sake of +warmth: not that they got much of it. Not more than five winters ago +we had a storm-stayed show on a small scale; but nowadays the farmers +are less willing to give these wanderers a camping-place, and the +people are less easily drawn to the entertainments provided, by fife +and drum. The colony hung together until it was starved out, when it +trailed itself elsewhere. I have often seen it forming. The first +arrival would be what was popularly known as "Sam'l Mann's +Tumbling-Booth," with its tumblers, jugglers, sword-swallowers, and +balancers. This travelling show visited us regularly twice a year: +once in summer for the Muckle Friday, when the performers were gay and +stout, and even the horses had flesh on their bones; and again in the +"back-end" of the year, when cold and hunger had taken the blood from +their faces, and the scraggy dogs that whined at their side were lashed +for licking the paint off the caravans. While the storm-stayed show +was in the vicinity the villages suffered from an invasion of these +dogs. Nothing told more truly the dreadful tale of the showman's life +in winter. Sam'l Mann's was a big show, and half a dozen smaller ones, +most of which were familiar to us, crawled in its wake. Others heard +of its whereabouts and came in from distant parts. There was the +well-known Gubbins with his "A' the World in a Box:" a halfpenny +peepshow, in which all the world was represented by Joseph and his +Brethren (with pit and coat), the bombardment of Copenhagen, the Battle +of the Nile, Daniel in the Den of Lions, and Mount Etna in eruption. +"Aunt Maggy's Whirligig" could be enjoyed on payment of an old pair of +boots, a collection of rags, or the like. Besides these and other +shows, there were the wandering minstrels, most of whom were "Waterloo +veterans" wanting arms or a leg. I remember one whose arms had been +"smashed by a thunderbolt at Jamaica." Queer bent old dames, who +superintended "lucky bags" or told fortunes, supplied the uncanny +element, but hesitated to call themselves witches, for there can still +be seen near Thrums the pool where these unfortunates used to be +drowned, and in the session book of the Glen Quharity kirk can be read +an old minute announcing that on a certain Sabbath there was no +preaching because "the minister was away at the burning of a witch." +To the storm-stayed shows came the gypsies in great numbers. Claypots +(which is a corruption of Claypits) was their headquarters near Thrums, +and it is still sacred to their memory. It was a clachan of miserable +little huts built entirely of clay from the dreary and sticky pit in +which they had been flung together. A shapeless hole on one side was +the doorway, and a little hole, stuffed with straw in winter, the +window. Some of the remnants of these hovels still stand. Their +occupants, though they went by the name of gypsies among themselves, +were known to the weavers as the Claypots beggars; and their King was +Jimmy Pawse. His regal dignity gave Jimmy the right to seek alms first +when he chose to do so; thus he got the cream of a place before his +subjects set to work. He was rather foppish in his dress; generally +affecting a suit of grey cloth with showy metal buttons on it, and a +broad blue bonnet. His wife was a little body like himself; and when +they went a-begging, Jimmy with a meal-bag for alms on his back, she +always took her husband's arm. Jimmy was the legal adviser of his +subjects; his decision was considered final on all questions, and he +guided them in their courtships as well as on their deathbeds. He +christened their children and officiated at their weddings, marrying +them over the tongs. + +The storm-stayed show attracted old and young--to looking on from the +outside. In the daytime the wagons and tents presented a dreary +appearance, sunk in snow, the dogs shivering between the wheels, and +but little other sign of life visible. When dusk came the lights were +lit, and the drummer and fifer from the booth of tumblers were sent +into the town to entice an audience. They marched quickly through the +nipping, windy streets, and then returned with two or three score of +men, women, and children, plunging through the snow or mud at their +heavy heels. It was Orpheus fallen from his high estate. What a +mockery the glare of the lamps and the capers of the mountebanks were, +and how satisfied were we to enjoy it all without going inside. I hear +the "Waterloo veterans" still, and remember their patriotic outbursts: + + On the sixteenth day of June, brave boys, + while cannon loud did roar, + We being short of cavalry they pressed on us full sore; + But British steel soon made them yield, + though our numbers was but few, + And death or victory was the word on the plains of Waterloo. + + +The storm-stayed shows often found it easier to sink to rest in a field +than to leave it. For weeks at a time they were snowed up, +sufficiently to prevent any one from Thrums going near them, though not +sufficiently to keep the pallid mummers indoors. That would in many +cases have meant starvation. They managed to fight their way through +storm and snowdrift to the high road and thence to the town, where they +got meal and sometimes broth. The tumblers and jugglers used +occasionally to hire an out-house in the town at these times--you may +be sure they did not pay for it in advance--and give performances +there. It is a curious thing, but true, that our herd-boys and others +were sometimes struck with the stage-fever. Thrums lost boys to the +showmen even in winter. + +On the whole, the farmers and the people generally were wonderfully +long-suffering with these wanderers, who I believe were more honest +than was to be expected. They stole, certainly; but seldom did they +steal anything more valuable than turnips. Sam'l Mann himself flushed +proudly over the effect his show once had on an irate farmer. The +farmer appeared in the encampment, whip in hand and furious. They must +get off his land before nightfall. The crafty showman, however, +prevailed upon him to take a look at the acrobats, and he enjoyed the +performance so much that he offered to let them stay until the end of +the week. Before that time came there was such a fall of snow that +departure was out of the question; and it is to the farmer's credit +that he sent Sam'l a bag of meal to tide him and his actors over the +storm. + +There were times when the showmen made a tour of the bothies, where +they slung their poles and ropes and gave their poor performances to +audiences that were not critical. The bothy being strictly the "man's" +castle, the farmer never interfered; indeed, he was sometimes glad to +see the show. Every other weaver in Thrums used to have a son a +ploughman, and it was the men from the bothies who filled the square on +the muckly. "Hands" are not huddled together nowadays in squalid barns +more like cattle than men and women, but bothies in the neighbourhood +of Thrums are not yet things of the past. Many a ploughman delves his +way to and from them still in all weathers, when the snow is on the +ground; at the time of "hairst," and when the turnip "shaws" have just +forced themselves through the earth, looking like straight rows of +green needles. Here is a picture of a bothy of to-day that I visited +recently. Over the door there is a waterspout that has given way, and +as I entered I got a rush of rain down my neck. The passage was so +small that one could easily have stepped from the doorway on to the +ladder standing against the wall, which was there in lieu of a +staircase. "Upstairs" was a mere garret, where a man could not stand +erect even in the centre. It was entered by a square hole in the +ceiling, at present closed by a clap-door in no way dissimilar to the +trap-doors on a theatre stage. I climbed into this garret, which is at +present used as a store-room for agricultural odds and ends. At +harvest-time, however, it is inhabited--full to overflowing. A few +decades ago as many as fifty labourers engaged for the harvest had to +be housed in the farm out-houses on beds of straw. There was no help +for it, and men and women had to congregate in these barns together. +Up as early as five in the morning, they were generally dead tired by +night; and, miserable though this system of herding them together was, +they took it like stoics, and their very number served as a moral +safeguard. Nowadays the harvest is gathered in so quickly, and +machinery does so much that used to be done by hand, that this crowding +of labourers together, which was the bothy system at its worst, is +nothing like what it was. As many as six or eight men, however, are +put up in the garret referred to during "hairst"-time, and the female +labourers have to make the best of it in the barn. There is no doubt +that on many farms the two sexes have still at this busy time to herd +together even at night. + +The bothy was but scantily furnished, though it consisted of two rooms. +In the one, which was used almost solely as a sleeping apartment, there +was no furniture to speak of, beyond two closet beds, and its bumpy +earthen floor gave it a cheerless look. The other, which had a single +bed, was floored with wood. It was not badly lit by two very small +windows that faced each other, and, besides several stools, there was a +long form against one of the walls. A bright fire of peat and +coal--nothing in the world makes such a cheerful red fire as this +combination--burned beneath a big kettle ("boiler" they called it), and +there was a "press" or cupboard containing a fair assortment of cooking +utensils. Of these some belonged to the bothy, while others were the +private property of the tenants. A tin "pan" and "pitcher" of water +stood near the door, and the table in the middle of the room was +covered with oilcloth. + +Four men and a boy inhabited this bothy, and the rain had driven them +all indoors. In better weather they spend the leisure of the evening +at the game of quoits, which is the standard pastime among Scottish +ploughmen. They fish the neighbouring streams, too, and have +burn-trout for supper several times a week. When I entered, two of +them were sitting by the fire playing draughts, or, as they called it, +"the dam-brod." The dam-brod is the Scottish labourer's billiards; and +he often attains to a remarkable proficiency at the game. Wylie, the +champion draught-player, was once a herd-boy; and wonderful stories are +current in all bothies of the times when his master called him into the +farm-parlour to show his skill. A third man, who seemed the elder by +quite twenty years, was at the window reading a newspaper; and I got no +shock when I saw that it was the _Saturday Review_, which he and a +labourer on an adjoining farm took in weekly between them. There was a +copy of a local newspaper--the _People's Journal_--also lying about, +and some books, including one of Darwin's. These were all the property +of this man, however, who did the reading for the bothy. + +They did all the cooking for themselves, living largely on milk. In +the old days, which the senior could remember, porridge was so +universally the morning meal that they called it by that name instead +of breakfast. They still breakfast on porridge, but often take tea +"above it." Generally milk is taken with the porridge; but "porter" or +stout in a bowl is no uncommon substitute. Potatoes at twelve +o'clock--seldom "brose" nowadays--are the staple dinner dish, and the +tinned meats have become very popular. There are bothies where each +man makes his own food; but of course the more satisfactory plan is for +them to club together. Sometimes they get their food in the +farm-kitchen; but this is only when there are few of them and the +farmer and his family do not think it beneath them to dine with the +men. Broth, too, may be made in the kitchen and sent down to the +bothy. At harvest-time the workers take their food in the fields, when +great quantities of milk are provided. There is very little beer +drunk, and whisky is only consumed in privacy. + +Life in the bothies is not, I should say, so lonely as life at the +schoolhouse, for the hands have at least each other's company. The +hawker visits them frequently still, though the itinerant tailor, once +a familiar figure, has almost vanished. Their great place of +congregating is still some country smiddy, which is also their frequent +meeting-place when bent on black-fishing. The flare of the +black-fisher's torch still attracts salmon to their death in the rivers +near Thrums; and you may hear in the glens on a dark night the rattle +of the spears on the wet stones. Twenty or thirty years ago, however, +the sport was much more common. After the farmer had gone to bed, some +half-dozen ploughmen and a few other poachers from Thrums would set out +for the meeting-place. + +The smithy on these occasions must have been a weird sight; though one +did not mark that at the time. The poacher crept from the darkness. +into the glaring smithy light; for in country parts the anvil might +sometimes be heard clanging at all hours of the night. As a rule, +every face was blackened; and it was this, I suppose, rather than the +fact that dark nights were chosen that gave the gangs the name of +black-fishers. Other disguises were resorted to; one of the commonest +being to change clothes or to turn your corduroys outside in. The +country-folk of those days were more superstitious than they are now, +and it did not take much to turn the black-fishers back. There was not +a barn or byre in the district that had not its horseshoe over the +door. Another popular device for frightening away witches and fairies +was to hang bunches of garlic about the farms. I have known a +black-fishing expedition stopped because a "yellow yite," or +yellowhammer, hovered round the gang when they were setting out. Still +more ominous was the "peat" when it appeared with one or three +companions. An old rhyme about this bird runs--"One is joy, two is +grief, three's a bridal, four is death." Such snatches of superstition +are still to be heard amidst the gossip of a north-country smithy. + +Each black-fisher brought his own spear and torch, both more or less +home-made. The spears were in many cases "gully-knives," fastened to +staves with twine and resin, called "rozet." The torches were very +rough-and-ready things--rope and tar, or even rotten roots dug from +broken trees--in fact, anything that would flare. The black-fishers +seldom journeyed far from home, confining themselves to the rivers +within a radius of three or four miles. There were many reasons for +this; one of them being that the hands had to be at their work on the +farm by five o'clock in the morning; another, that so they poached and +let poach. Except when in spate, the river I specially refer to +offered no attractions to the black-fishers. Heavy rains, however, +swell it much more quickly than most rivers into a turbulent rush of +water; the part of it affected by the black-fishers being banked in +with rocks that prevent the water's spreading. Above these rocks, +again, are heavy green banks, from which stunted trees grow aslant +across the river. The effect is fearsome at some points where the +trees run into each other, as it were, from opposite banks. However, +the black-fishers thought nothing of these things. They took a turnip +lantern with them--that is, a lantern hollowed out of a turnip, with a +piece of candle inside--but no lights were shown on the road. Every +one knew his way to the river blindfold; so that the darker the night +the better. On reaching the water there was a pause. One or two of +the gang climbed the banks to discover if any bailiffs were on the +watch; while the others sat down, and with the help of the turnip +lantern "busked" their spears; in other words, fastened on the +steel--or, it might be, merely pieces of rusty iron sharpened into a +point at home--to the staves. Some had them busked before they set +out, but that was not considered prudent; for of course there was +always a risk of meeting spoil-sports on the way, to whom the spears +would tell a tale that could not be learned from ordinary staves. +Nevertheless little time was lost. Five or six of the gang waded into +the water, torch in one hand and spear in the other; and the object now +was to catch some salmon with the least possible delay, and hurry away. +Windy nights were good for the sport, and I can still see the river lit +up with the lumps of light that a torch makes in a high wind. The +torches, of course, were used to attract the fish, which came swimming +to the sheen, and were then speared. As little noise as possible was +made; but though the men bit their lips instead of crying out when they +missed their fish, there was a continuous ring of their weapons on the +stones, and every irrepressible imprecation was echoed up and down the +black glen. Two or three of the gang were told off to land the salmon, +and they had to work smartly and deftly. They kept by the side of the +spearsman, and the moment he struck a fish they grabbed at it with +their hands. When the spear had a barb there was less chance of the +fish's being lost; but often this was not the case, and probably not +more than two-thirds of the salmon speared were got safely to the bank. +The takes of course varied; sometimes, indeed, the black-fishers +returned home empty-handed. + +Encounters with the bailiffs were not infrequent, though they seldom +took place at the water's edge. When the poachers were caught in the +act, and had their blood up with the excitement of the sport, they were +ugly customers. Spears were used and heads were broken. Struggles +even took place in the water, when there was always a chance of +somebody's being drowned. Where the bailiffs gave the black-fishers an +opportunity of escaping without a fight it was nearly always taken; the +booty being left behind. As a rule, when the "water-watchers," as the +bailiffs were sometimes called, had an inkling of what was to take +place, they reinforced themselves with a constable or two and waited on +the road to catch the poachers on their way home. One black-fisher, a +noted character, was nicknamed the "Deil o' Glen Quharity." He was +said to have gone to the houses of the bailiffs and offered to sell +them the fish stolen from the streams over which they kept guard. The +"Deil" was never imprisoned--partly, perhaps, because he was too +eccentric to be taken seriously. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE AULD LICHT KIRK + +One Sabbath day in the beginning of the century the Auld Licht minister +at Thrums walked out of his battered, ramshackle, earthen-floored kirk +with a following and never returned. The last words he uttered in it +were: "Follow me to the commonty, all you persons who want to hear the +Word of God properly preached; and James Duphie and his two sons will +answer for this on the Day of Judgment." The congregation, which +belonged to the body who seceded from the Established Church a hundred +and fifty years ago, had split, and as the New Lights (now the U. P.'s) +were in the majority, the Old Lights, with the minister at their head, +had to retire to the commonty (or common) and hold service in the open +air until they had saved up money for a church. They kept possession, +however, of the white manse among the trees. Their kirk has but a +cluster of members now, most of them old and done, but each is equal to +a dozen ordinary church-goers, and there have been men and women among +them on whom the memory loves to linger. For forty years they have +been dying out, but their cold, stiff pews still echo the Psalms of +David, and, the Auld Licht kirk will remain open so long as it has one +member and a minister. + +The church stands round the corner from the square, with only a large +door to distinguish it from the other building in the short street. +Children who want to do a brave thing hit this door with their fists, +when there is no one near, and then run away scared. The door, +however, is sacred to the memory of a white-haired old lady who, not so +long ago, used to march out of the kirk and remain on the pavement +until the psalm which had just been given out was sung. Of Thrums's +pavement it may here be said that when you come, even to this day, to a +level slab you feel reluctant to leave it. The old lady was Mistress +(which is Miss) Tibbie McQuhatty, and she nearly split the Auld Licht +kirk over "run line." This conspicuous innovation was introduced by +Mr. Dishart, the minister, when he was young and audacious. The old, +reverent custom in the kirk was for the precentor to read out the psalm +a line at a time. Having then sung that line he read out the next one, +led the singing of it, and so worked his way on to line three. Where +run line holds, however, the psalm is read out first, and forthwith +sung. This is not only a flighty way of doing things, which may lead +to greater scandals, but has its practical disadvantages, for the +precentor always starts singing in advance of the congregation (Auld +Lichts never being able to begin to do anything all at once), and, +increasing the distance with every line, leaves them hopelessly behind +at the finish. Miss McQuhatty protested against this change, as +meeting the devil halfway, but the minister carried his point, and ever +after that she rushed ostentatiously from the church the moment a psalm +was given out, and remained behind the door until the singing was +finished, when she returned, with a rustle, to her seat. Run line had +on her the effect of the reading of the Riot Act. Once some men, +capable of anything, held the door from the outside, and the +congregation heard Tibbie rampaging in the passage. Bursting into the +kirk she called the office-bearers to her assistance, whereupon the +minister in miniature raised his voice and demanded the why and +wherefore of the ungodly disturbance. Great was the hubbub, but the +door was fast, and a compromise had to be arrived at. The old lady +consented for once to stand in the passage, but not without pressing +her hands to her ears. You may smile at Tibbie, but ah! I know what +she was at a sick bedside. I have seen her when the hard look had gone +from her eyes, and it would ill become me to smile too. + +As with all the churches in Thrums, care had been taken to make the +Auld Licht one much too large. The stair to the "laft" or gallery, +which was originally little more than a ladder, is ready for you as +soon as you enter the doorway, but it is best to sit in the body of the +kirk. The plate for collections is inside the church, so that the +whole congregation can give a guess at what you give. If it is +something very stingy or very liberal, all Thrums knows of it within a +few hours; indeed, this holds good of all the churches, especially +perhaps of the Free one, which has been called the bawbee kirk, because +so many halfpennies find their way into the plate. On Saturday nights +the Thrums shops are besieged for coppers by housewives of all +denominations, who would as soon think of dropping a threepenny bit +into the plate as of giving nothing. Tammy Todd had a curious way of +tipping his penny into the Auld Licht plate while still keeping his +hand to his side. He did it much as a boy fires a marble, and there +was quite a talk in the congregation the first time he missed. A +devout plan was to carry your penny in your hand all the way to church, +but to appear to take it out of your pocket on entering, and some +plumped it down noisily like men paying their way. I believe old +Snecky Hobart, who was a canty stock but obstinate, once dropped a +penny into the plate and took out a halfpenny as change, but the only +untoward thing that happened to the plate was once when the lassie from +the farm of Curly Bog capsized it in passing. Mr. Dishart, who was +always a ready man, introduced something into his sermon that day about +women's dress, which every one hoped Chirsty Lundy, the lassie in +question, would remember. Nevertheless, the minister sometimes came to +a sudden stop himself when passing from the vestry to the pulpit. The +passage being narrow, his rigging would catch in a pew as he sailed +down the aisle. Even then, however, Mr. Dishart remembered that he was +not as other men. + +White is not a religious colour, and the walls of the kirk were of a +dull grey. A cushion was allowed to the manse pew, but merely as a +symbol of office, and this was the only pew in the church that had a +door. It was and is the pew nearest to the pulpit on the minister's +right, and one day it contained a bonnet which Mr. Dishart's +predecessor preached at for one hour and ten minutes. From the pulpit, +which was swaddled in black, the minister had a fine sweep of all the +congregation except those in the back pews downstairs, who were lost in +the shadow of the laft. Here sat Whinny Webster, so called because, +having an inexplicable passion against them, he devoted his life to the +extermination of whins. Whinny for years ate peppermint lozenges with +impunity in his back seat, safe in the certainty that the minister, +however much he might try, could not possibly see him. But his day +came. One afternoon the kirk smelt of peppermints, and Mr. Dishart +could rebuke no one, for the defaulter was not in sight. Whinny's +cheek was working up and down in quiet enjoyment of its lozenge, when +he started, noticing that the preaching had stopped. Then he heard a +sepulchral voice say "Charles Webster!" Whinny's eyes turned to the +pulpit, only part of which was visible to him, and to his horror they +encountered the minister's head coming down the stairs. This took +place after I had ceased to attend the Auld Licht kirk regularly; but I +am told that as Whinny gave one wild scream the peppermint dropped from +his mouth. The minister had got him by leaning over the pulpit door +until, had he given himself only another inch, his feet would have gone +into the air. As for Whinny he became a Godfearing man. + +The most uncanny thing about the kirk was the precentor's box beneath +the pulpit. Three Auld Licht ministers I have known, but I can only +conceive one precentor. Lang Tammas's box was much too small for him. +Since his disappearance from Thrums I believe they have paid him the +compliment of enlarging it for a smaller man--no doubt with the feeling +that Tammas alone could look like a Christian in it. Like the whole +congregation, of course, he had to stand during the prayers--the first +of which averaged half an hour in length. If he stood erect his head +and shoulders vanished beneath funereal trappings, when he seemed +decapitated, and if he stretched his neck the pulpit tottered. He +looked like the pillar on which it rested, or he balanced it on his +head like a baker's tray. Sometimes he leaned forward as reverently as +he could, and then, with his long lean arms dangling over the side of +his box, he might have been a suit of "blacks" hung up to dry. Once I +was talking with Cree Queery in a sober, respectable manner, when all +at once a light broke out on his face. I asked him what he was +laughing at, and he said it was at Lang Tammas. He got grave again +when I asked him what there was in Lang Tammas to smile at, and +admitted that he could not tell me. However, I have always been of +opinion that the thought of the precentor in his box gave Cree a +fleeting sense of humour. + +Tammas and Hendry Munn were the two paid officials of the church, +Hendry being kirk-officer; but poverty was among the few points they +had in common. The precentor was a cobbler, though he never knew it, +shoemaker being the name in those parts, and his dwelling-room was also +his workshop. There he sat in his "brot," or apron, from early morning +to far on to midnight, and contrived to make his six or eight shillings +a week. I have often sat with him in the darkness that his "cruizey" +lamp could not pierce, while his mutterings to himself of "ay, ay, yes, +umpha, oh ay, ay man," came as regularly and monotonously as the tick +of his "wag-at-the-wa'" clock. Hendry and he were paid no fixed sum +for their services in the Auld Licht kirk, but once a year there was a +collection for each of them, and so they jogged along. Though not the +only kirk-officer of my time Hendry made the most lasting impression. +He was, I think, the only man in Thrums who did not quake when the +minister looked at him. A wild story, never authenticated, says that +Hendry once offered Mr. Dishart a snuff from his mull. In the streets +Lang Tammas was more stern and dreaded by evildoers, but Hendry had +first place in the kirk. One of his duties was to precede the minister +from the session-house to the pulpit and open the door for him. Having +shut Mr. Dishart in he strolled away to his seat. When a strange +minister preached, Hendry was, if possible, still more at his ease. +This will not be believed, but I have seen him give the pulpit-door on +these occasions a fling-to with his feet. However ill an ordinary +member of the congregation might become in the kirk, he sat on till the +service ended, but Hendry would wander to the door and shut it if he +noticed that the wind was playing irreverent tricks with the pages of +Bibles, and proof could still be brought forward that he would stop +deliberately in the aisle to lift up a piece of paper, say, that had +floated there. After the first psalm had been sung it was Hendry's +part to lift up the plate and carry its tinkling contents to the +session-house. On the greatest occasions he remained so calm, so +indifferent, so expressionless, that he might have been present the +night before at a rehearsal. + +When there was preaching at night the church was lit by tallow candles, +which also gave out all the artificial heat provided. Two candles +stood on each side of the pulpit, and others were scattered over the +church, some of them fixed into holes on rough brackets, and some +merely sticking in their own grease on the pews. Hendry superintended +the lighting of the candles, and frequently hobbled through the church +to snuff them. Mr. Dishart was a man who could do anything except +snuff a candle, but when he stopped in his sermon to do that he as +often as not knocked the candle over. In vain he sought to refix it in +its proper place, and then all eyes turned to Hendry. As coolly as +though he were in a public hall or place of entertainment, the +kirk-officer arose and, mounting the stair, took the candle from the +minister's reluctant hands and put it right. Then he returned to his +seat, not apparently puffed up, yet perhaps satisfied with himself; +while Mr. Dishart, glaring after him to see if he was carrying his head +high, resumed his wordy way. + +Never was there a man more uncomfortably loved than Mr. Dishart. Easie +Haggart, his maid-servant, reproved him at the breakfast-table. Lang +Tammas and Sam'l Mealmaker crouched for five successive Sabbath nights +on his manse wall to catch him smoking (and got him). Old wives +grumbled by their hearths when he did not look in to despair of their +salvation. He told the maidens of his congregation not to make an idol +of him. His session saw him (from behind a haystack) in conversation +with a strange woman, and asked grimly if he remembered that he had a +wife. Twenty were his years when he came to Thrums, and on the very +first Sabbath he knocked a board out of the pulpit. Before beginning +his trial sermon he handed down the big Bible to the precentor, to give +his arms freer swing. The congregation, trembling with exhilaration, +probed his meaning. Not a square inch of paper, they saw, could be +concealed there. Mr. Dishart had scarcely any hope for the Auld +Lichts; he had none for any other denomination. Davit Lunan got behind +his handkerchief to think for a moment, and the minister was on him +like a tiger. The call was unanimous. Davit proposed him. + +Every few years, as one might say, the Auld Licht kirk gave way and +burled its minister. The congregation turned their empty pockets +inside out, and the minister departed in a farmer's cart. The scene +was not an amusing one to those who looked on at it. To the Auld +Lichts was then the humiliation of seeing their pulpit "supplied" on +alternate Sabbaths by itinerant probationers or stickit ministers. +When they were not starving themselves to support a pastor the Auld +Lichts were saving up for a stipend. They retired with compressed lips +to their looms, and weaved and weaved till they weaved another +minister. Without the grief of parting with one minister there could +not have been the transport of choosing another. To have had a pastor +always might have made them vainglorious. + +They were seldom longer than twelve months in making a selection, and +in their haste they would have passed over Mr. Dishart and mated with a +monster. Many years have elapsed since Providence flung Mr. Watts out +of the Auld Licht kirk. Mr. Watts was a probationer who was tried +before Mr. Dishart, and, though not so young as might have been wished, +he found favour in many eyes. "Sluggard in the laft, awake!" he cried +to Bell Whamond, who had forgotten herself, and it was felt that there +must be good stuff in him. A breeze from Heaven exposed him on +Communion Sabbath. + +On the evening of this solemn day the door of the Auld Licht kirk was +sometimes locked, and the congregation repaired, Bible in hand, to the +commonty. They had a right to this common on the Communion Sabbath, +but only took advantage of it when it was believed that more persons +intended witnessing the evening service than the kirk would hold. On +this day the attendance was always very great. + +It was the Covenanters come back to life. To the summit of the slope a +wooden box was slowly hurled by Hendry Munn and others, and round this +the congregation quietly grouped to the tinkle of the cracked Auld +Licht bell. With slow majestic tread the session advanced up the steep +common with the little minister in their midst. He had the people in +his hands now, and the more he squeezed them the better they were +pleased. The travelling pulpit consisted of two compartments, the one +for the minister and the other for Lang Tammas, but no Auld Licht +thought that it looked like a Punch and Judy puppet show. This service +on the common was known as the "tent preaching," owing to a tent's +being frequently used instead of the box. + +Mr. Watts was conducting the service on the commonty. It was a fine, +still summer evening, and loud above the whisper of the burn from which +the common climbs, and the laboured "pechs" of the listeners rose the +preacher's voice. The Auld Lichts in their rusty blacks (they must +have been a more artistic sight in the olden days of blue bonnets and +knee-breeches) nodded their heads in sharp approval, for though they +could swoop down on a heretic like an eagle on carrion, they scented no +prey. Even Lang Tammas, on whose nose a drop of water gathered when he +was in his greatest fettle, thought that all was fair and above-board. +Suddenly a rush of wind tore up the common, and ran straight at the +pulpit. It formed in a sieve, and passed over the heads of the +congregation, who felt it as a fan, and looked up in awe. Lang Tammas, +feeling himself all at once grow clammy, distinctly heard the leaves of +the pulpit Bible shiver. Mr. Watts's hands, outstretched to prevent a +catastrophe, were blown against his side, and then some twenty sheets +of closely-written paper floated into the air. There was a horrible, +dead silence. The burn was roaring now. The minister, if such he can +be called, shrunk back in his box, and, as if they had seen it printed +in letters of fire on the heavens, the congregation realized that Mr. +Watts, whom they had been on the point of calling, read his sermon. He +wrote it out on pages the exact size of those in the Bible, and did not +scruple to fasten these into the Holy Book itself. At theatres a +sullen thunder of angry voices behind the scene represents a crowd in a +rage, and such a low, long-drawn howl swept the common when Mr. Watts +was found out. To follow a pastor who "read" seemed to the Auld Lichts +like claiming heaven on false pretences. In ten minutes the session +alone, with Lang Tammas and Hendry, were on the common. They were +watched by many from afar off, and (when one comes to think of it now) +looked a little curious jumping, like trout at flies, at the damning +papers still fluttering in the air. The minister was never seen in our +parts again, but he is still remembered as "Paper Watts." + +Mr. Dishart in the pulpit was the reward of his upbringing. At ten he +had entered the university. Before he was in his teens he was +practising the art of gesticulation in his father's gallery pew. From +distant congregations people came to marvel at him. He was never more +than comparatively young. So long as the pulpit trappings of the kirk +at Thrums lasted he could be seen, once he was fairly under weigh with +his sermon, but dimly in a cloud of dust. He introduced headaches. In +a grand transport of enthusiasm he once flung his arms over the pulpit +and caught Lang Tammas on the forehead. Leaning forward, with his +chest on the cushions, he would pommel the Evil One with both hands, +and then, whirling round to the left, shake his fist at Bell Whamond's +neckerchief. With a sudden jump he would fix Pete Todd's youngest boy +catching flies at the laft window. Stiffening unexpectedly, he would +leap three times in the air, and then gather himself in a corner for a +fearsome spring. When he wept he seemed to be laughing, and he laughed +in a paroxysm of tears. He tried to tear the devil out of the pulpit +rails. When he was not a teetotum he was a windmill. His pump +position was the most appalling. Then he glared motionless at his +admiring listeners, as if he had fallen into a trance with his arm +upraised. The hurricane broke next moment. Nanny Sutie bore up under +the shadow of the windmill--which would have been heavier had Auld +Licht ministers worn gowns--but the pump affected her to tears. She +was stone-deaf. + +For the first year or more of his ministry an Auld Licht minister was a +mouse among cats. Both in the pulpit and out of it they watched for +unsound doctrine, and when he strayed they took him by the neck. Mr. +Dishart, however, had been brought up in the true way, and seldom gave +his people a chance. In time, it may be said, they grew despondent, +and settled in their uncomfortable pews with all suspicion of lurking +heresy allayed. It was only on such Sabbaths as Mr. Dishart changed +pulpits with another minister that they cocked their ears and leant +forward eagerly to snap the preacher up. + +Mr. Dishart had his trials. There was the split in the kirk, too, that +comes once at least to every Auld Licht minister. He was long in +marrying. The congregation were thinking of approaching him, through +the medium of his servant, Easie Haggart, on the subject of matrimony; +for a bachelor coming on for twenty-two, with an income of eighty +pounds per annum, seemed an anomaly, when one day he took the canal for +Edinburgh and returned with his bride. His people nodded their heads, +but said nothing to the minister. If he did not choose to take them +into his confidence, it was no affair of theirs. That there was +something queer about the marriage, however, seemed certain. Sandy +Whamond, who was a soured man after losing his eldership, said that he +believed she had been an "Englishy"--in other words, had belonged to +the English Church; but it is not probable that Mr. Dishart would have +gone the length of that. The secret is buried in his grave. Easie +Haggart jagged the minister sorely. She grew loquacious with years, +and when he had company would stand at the door joining in the +conversation. If the company was another minister, she would take a +chair and discuss Mr. Dishart's infirmities with him. The Auld Lichts +loved their minister, but they saw even more clearly than himself the +necessity for his humiliation. His wife made all her children's +clothes, but Sanders Gow complained that she looked too like their +sister. In one week three of the children died, and on the Sabbath +following it rained. Mr. Dishart preached, twice breaking down +altogether and gaping strangely round the kirk (there was no dust +flying that day), and spoke of the rain as angels' tears for three +little girls. The Auld Lichts let it pass, but, as Lang Tammas said in +private (for, of course, the thing was much discussed at the looms), if +you materialize angels in that way, where are you going to stop? + +It was on the Fast Days that the Auld Licht kirk showed what it was +capable of, and, so to speak, left all the other churches in Thrums far +behind. The Fast came round once every summer, beginning on a +Thursday, when all the looms were hushed, and two services were held in +the kirk of about three hours' length each. A minister from another +town assisted at these times, and when the service ended the members +filed in at one door and out at another, passing on their way Mr. +Dishart and his elders, who dispensed "tokens" at the foot of the +pulpit. Without a token, which was a metal lozenge, no one could take +the sacrament on the coming Sabbath, and many a member has Mr. Dishart +made miserable by refusing him his token for gathering wild flowers, +say, on a Lord's Day (as testified to by another member). Women were +lost who cooked dinners on the Sabbath, or took to coloured ribbons, or +absented themselves from church without sufficient cause. On the Fast +Day fists were shaken at Mr. Dishart as he walked sternly homewards, +but he was undismayed. Next day there were no services in the kirk, +for Auld Lichts could not afford many holidays, but they weaved +solemnly, with Saturday and the Sabbath and Monday to think of. On +Saturday service began at two and lasted until nearly seven. Two +sermons were preached, but there was no interval. The sacrament was +dispensed on the Sabbath. Nowadays the "tables" in the Auld Licht kirk +are soon "served," for the attendance has decayed, and most of the pews +in the body of the church are made use of. In the days of which I +speak, however, the front pews alone were hung with white, and it was +in them only that the sacrament was administered. As many members as +could get into them delivered up their tokens and took the first table. +Then they made room for others, who sat in their pews awaiting their +turn. What with tables, the preaching, and unusually long prayers, the +service lasted from eleven to six. At half-past six a two hours' +service began, either in the kirk or on the common, from which no one +who thought much about his immortal soul would have dared (or cared) to +absent himself. A four hours' service on the Monday, which, like that +of the Saturday, consisted of two services in one, but began at eleven +instead of two, completed the programme. + +On those days, if you were a poor creature and wanted to acknowledge +it, you could leave the church for a few minutes and return to it, but +the creditable thing was to sit on. Even among the children there was +a keen competition, fostered by their parents, to sit each other out, +and be in at the death. + +The other Thrums kirks held the sacrament at the same time, but not +with the same vehemence. As far north from the schoolhouse as Thrums +is south of it, nestles the little village of Quharity, and there the +Fast Day was not a day of fasting. In most cases the people had to go +many miles to church. They drove or rode (two on a horse), or walked +in from other glens. Without "the tents," therefore, the congregation, +with a long day before them, would have been badly off. Sometimes one +tent sufficed; at other times rival publicans were on the ground. The +tents were those in use at the feeing and other markets, and you could +get anything inside them, from broth made in a "boiler" to the fieriest +whisky. They were planted just outside the kirk-gate--long, low tents +of dirty white canvas--so that when passing into the church or out of +it you inhaled their odours. The congregation emerged austerely from +the church, shaking their heads solemnly over the minister's remarks, +and their feet carried them into the tent. There was no mirth, no +unseemly revelry, but there was a great deal of hard drinking. +Eventually the tents were done away with, but not until the services on +the Fast Days were shortened. The Auld Licht ministers were the only +ones who preached against the tents with any heart, and since the old +dominie, my predecessor at the schoolhouse, died, there has not been an +Auld Licht permanently resident in the glen of Quharity. + +Perhaps nothing took it out of the Auld Licht males so much as a +christening. Then alone they showed symptoms of nervousness, more +especially after the remarkable baptism of Eppie Whamond. I could tell +of several scandals in connection with the kirk. There was, for +instance, the time when Easie Haggart saved the minister. In a fit of +temporary mental derangement the misguided man had one Sabbath day, +despite the entreaties of his affrighted spouse, called at the +post-office, and was on the point of reading the letter there received, +when Easie, who had slipped on her bonnet and followed him, snatched +the secular thing from his hands. There was the story that ran like +fire through Thrums and crushed an innocent man to the effect that Pete +Todd had been in an Edinburgh theatre countenancing the play-actors. +Something could be made, too, of the retribution that came to Chairlie +Ramsay, who woke in his pew to discover that its other occupant, his +little son Jamie, was standing on the seat divesting himself of his +clothes in presence of a horrified congregation. Jamie had begun +stealthily, and had very little on when Chairlie seized him. But +having my choice of scandals I prefer the christening one--the unique +case of Eppie Whamond, who was born late on Saturday night and baptized +in the kirk on the following forenoon. + +To the casual observer the Auld Licht always looked as if he were +returning from burying a near relative. Yet when I met him hobbling +down the street, preternaturally grave and occupied, experience taught +me that he was preparing for a christening. How the minister would +have borne himself in the event of a member of his congregation's +wanting the baptism to take place at home it is not easy to say; but I +shudder to think of the public prayers for the parents that would +certainly have followed. The child was carried to the kirk through +rain, or snow, or sleet, or wind, the father took his seat alone in the +front pew, under the minister's eye, and the service was prolonged far +on into the afternoon. But though the references in the sermon to that +unhappy object of interest in the front pew were many and pointed, his +time had not really come until the minister signed to him to advance as +far as the second step of the pulpit stairs. The nervous father +clenched the railing in a daze, and cowered before the ministerial +heckling. From warning the minister passed to exhortation, from +exhortation to admonition, from admonition to searching questioning, +from questioning to prayer and wailing. When the father glanced up, +there was the radiant boy in the pulpit looking as if he would like to +jump down his throat. If he hung his head the minister would ask, with +a groan, whether he was unprepared; and the whole congregation would +sigh out the response that Mr. Dishart had hit it. When he replied +audibly to the minister's uncomfortable questions, a pained look at his +flippancy travelled from the pulpit all round the pews; and when he +only bowed his head in answer, the minister paused sternly, and the +congregation wondered what the man meant. Little wonder that Davie +Haggart took to drinking when his turn came for occupying that front +pew. + +If wee Eppie Whamond's birth had been deferred until the beginning of +the week, or humility had shown more prominently among her mother's +virtues, the kirk would have been saved a painful scandal, and Sandy +Whamond might have retained his eldership. Yet it was a foolish but +wifely pride in her husband's official position that turned Bell +Dundas's head--a wild ambition to beat all baptismal record. + +Among the wives she was esteemed a poor body whose infant did not see +the inside of the kirk within a fortnight of its birth. Forty years +ago it was an accepted superstition in Thrums that the ghosts of +children who had died before they were baptized went wailing and +wringing their hands round the kirkyard at nights, and that they would +continue to do this until the crack of doom. When the Auld Licht +children grew up, too, they crowed over those of their fellows whose +christening had been deferred until a comparatively late date, and the +mothers who had needlessly missed a Sabbath for long afterwards hung +their heads. That was a good and creditable birth which took place +early in the week, thus allowing time for suitable christening +preparations; while to be born on a Friday or a Saturday was to +humiliate your parents, besides being an extremely ominous beginning +for yourself. Without seeking to vindicate Bell Dundas's behaviour, I +may note, as an act of ordinary fairness, that being the leading +elder's wife, she was sorely tempted. Eppie made her appearance at +9.45 on a Saturday night. + +In the hurry and scurry that ensued, Sandy escaped sadly to the square. +His infant would be baptized eight days old, one of the +longest-deferred christenings of the year. Sandy was shivering under +the clock when I met him accidentally, and took him home. But by that +time the harm had been done. Several of the congregation had been +roused from their beds to hear his lamentations, of whom the men +sympathized with him, while the wives triumphed austerely over Bell +Dundas. As I wrung poor Sandy's hand, I hardly noticed that a bright +light showed distinctly between the shutters of his kitchen-window; but +the elder himself turned pale and breathed quickly. It was then +fourteen minutes past twelve. + +My heart sank within me on the following forenoon, when Sandy Whamond +walked, with a queer twitching face, into the front pew under a glare +of eyes from the body of the kirk and the laft. An amazed buzz went +round the church, followed by a pursing up of lips and hurried +whisperings. Evidently Sandy had been driven to it against his own +judgment. The scene is still vivid before me: the minister suspecting +no guile, and omitting the admonitory stage out of compliment to the +elder's standing; Sandy's ghastly face; the proud godmother (aged +twelve) with the squalling baby in her arms; the horror of the +congregation to a man and woman. A slate fell from Sandy's house even +as he held up the babe to the minister to receive a "droukin'" of +water, and Eppie cried so vigorously that her shamed godmother had to +rush with her to the vestry. Now things are not as they should be when +an Auld Licht infant does not quietly sit out her first service. + +Bell tried for a time to carry her head high; but Sandy ceased to +whistle at his loom, and the scandal was a rolling stone that soon +passed over him. Briefly it amounted to this: that a bairn born within +two hours of midnight on Saturday could not have been ready for +christening at the kirk next day without the breaking of the Sabbath. +Had the secret of the nocturnal light been mine alone all might have +been well; but Betsy Munn's evidence was irrefutable. Great had been +Bell's cunning, but Betsy had outwitted her. Passing the house on the +eventful night, Betsy had observed Marget Dundas, Bell's sister, open +the door and creep cautiously to the window, the chinks in the outside +shutters of which she cunningly closed up with "tow." As in a flash +the disgusted Betsy saw what Bell was up to, and, removing the tow, +planted herself behind the dilapidated dyke opposite, and awaited +events. Questioned at a special meeting of the office-bearers in the +vestry, she admitted that the lamp was extinguished soon after twelve +o'clock, though the fire burned brightly all night. There had been +unnecessary feasting during the night, and six eggs were consumed +before breakfast-time. Asked how she knew this, she admitted having +counted the egg-shells that Marget had thrown out of doors in the +morning. This, with the testimony of the persons from whom Sandy had +sought condolence on the Saturday night, was the case for the +prosecution. For the defence, Bell maintained that all preparations +stopped when the clock struck twelve, and even hinted that the bairn +had been born on Saturday afternoon. But Sandy knew that he and his +had got a fall. In the forenoon of the following Sabbath the minister +preached from the text, "Be sure your sin will find you out;" and in +the afternoon from "Pride goeth before a fall." He was grand. In the +evening Sandy tendered his resignation of office, which was at once +accepted. Wobs were behindhand for a week owing to the length of the +prayers offered up for Bell; and Lang Tammas ruled in Sandy's stead. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +LADS AND LASSES + +With the severe Auld Lichts the Sabbath began at six o'clock on +Saturday evening. By that time the gleaming shuttle was at rest, Davie +Haggart had strolled into the village from his pile of stones on the +Whunny road; Hendry Robb, the "dummy," had sold his last barrowful of +"rozetty (resiny) roots" for firewood; and the people, having +tranquilly supped and soused their faces in their water-pails, slowly +donned their Sunday clothes. This ceremony was common to all; but here +divergence set in. The grey Auld Licht, to whom love was not even a +name, sat in his high-backed arm-chair by the hearth, Bible or +"Pilgrim's Progress" in hand, occasionally lapsing into slumber. +But--though, when they got the chance, they went willingly three times +to the kirk--there were young men in the community so flighty that, +instead of dozing at home on Saturday night, they dandered casually +into the square, and, forming into knots at the corners, talked +solemnly and mysteriously of women. + +Not even on the night preceding his wedding was an Auld Licht ever +known to stay out after ten o'clock. So weekly conclaves at +street-corners came to an end at a comparatively early hour, one +Coelebs after another shuffling silently from the square until it +echoed, deserted, to the town-house clock. The last of the gallants, +gradually discovering that he was alone, would look around him +musingly, and, taking in the situation, slowly wend his way home. On +no other night of the week was frivolous talk about the softer sex +indulged in, the Auld Lichts being creatures of habit who never thought +of smiling on a Monday. Long before they reached their teens they were +earning their keep as herds in the surrounding glens or filling "pirns" +for their parents; but they were generally on the brink of twenty +before they thought seriously of matrimony. Up to that time they only +trifled with the other sex's affections at a distance--filling a maid's +water-pails, perhaps, when no one was looking, or carrying her wob; at +the recollection of which they would slap their knees almost jovially +on Saturday night. A wife was expected to assist at the loom as well +as to be cunning in the making of marmalade and the firing of bannocks, +and there was consequently some heartburning among the lads for maids +of skill and muscle. The Auld Licht, however, who meant marriage +seldom loitered in the streets. By and by there came a time when the +clock looked down through its cracked glass upon the hemmed in square +and saw him not. His companions, gazing at each other's boots, felt +that something was going on, but made no remark. + +A month ago, passing through the shabby familiar square, I brushed +against a withered old man tottering down the street under a load of +yarn. It was piled on a wheelbarrow which his feeble hands could not +have raised but for the rope of yarn that supported it from his +shoulders; and though Auld Licht was written on his patient eyes, I did +not immediately recognize Jamie Whamond. Years ago Jamie was a sturdy +weaver and fervent lover whom I had the right to call my friend. Turn +back the century a few decades, and we are together on a moonlight +night, taking a short cut through the fields from the farm of +Craigiebuckle. Buxom were Craigiebuckle's "dochters," and Jamie was +Janet's accepted suitor. It was a muddy road through damp grass, and +we picked our way silently over its ruts and pools. "I'm thinkin'," +Jamie said at last, a little wistfully, "that I micht hae been as weel +wi' Chirsty." Chirsty was Janet's sister, and Jamie had first thought +of her. Craigiebuckle, however, strongly advised him to take Janet +instead, and he consented. Alack! heavy wobs have taken all the grace +from Janet's shoulders this many a year, though she and Jamie go +bravely down the hill together. Unless they pass the allotted span of +life, the "poorshouse" will never know them. As for bonny Chirsty, she +proved a flighty thing, and married a deacon in the Established Church. +The Auld Lichts groaned over her fall, Craigiebuckle hung his head, and +the minister told her sternly to go her way. But a few weeks +afterwards Lang Tammas, the chief elder, was observed talking with her +for an hour in Gowrie's close; and the very next Sabbath Chirsty pushed +her husband in triumph into her father's pew. The minister, though +completely taken by surprise, at once referred to the stranger, in a +prayer of great length, as a brand that might yet be plucked from the +burning. Changing his text, he preached at him; Lang Tammas, the +precentor, and the whole congregation (Chirsty included), sang at him; +and before he exactly realized his position he had become an Auld Licht +for life. Chirsty's triumph was complete when, next week, in broad +daylight, too, the minister's wife called, and (in the presence of +Betsy Munn, who vouches for the truth of the story) graciously asked +her to come up to the manse on Thursday, at 4 p. m., and drink a dish +of tea. Chirsty, who knew her position, of course begged modestly to +be excused; but a coolness arose over the invitation between her and +Janet--who felt slighted--that was only made up at the laying-out of +Chirsty's father-in-law, to which Janet was pleasantly invited. + +When they had red up the house, the Auld Licht lassies sat in the +gloaming at their doors on three-legged stools, patiently knitting +stockings. To them came stiff-limbed youths who, with a "Blawy nicht, +Jeanie" (to which the inevitable answer was, "It is so, Cha-rles"), +rested their shoulders on the doorpost, and silently followed with +their eyes the flashing needles. Thus the courtship began--often to +ripen promptly into marriage, at other times to go no further. The +smooth-haired maids, neat in their simple wrappers, knew they were on +their trial and that it behoved them to be wary. They had not +compassed twenty winters without knowing that Marget Todd lost Davie +Haggart because she "fittit" a black stocking with brown worsted, and +that Finny's grieve turned from Bell Whamond on account of the +frivolous flowers in her bonnet: and yet Bell's prospects, as I happen +to know, at one time looked bright and promising. Sitting over her +father's peat-fire one night gossiping with him about fishing-flies and +tackle, I noticed the grieve, who had dropped in by appointment with +some ducks' eggs on which Bell's clockin hen was to sit, performing +some sleight-of-hand trick with his coat-sleeve. Craftily he jerked +and twisted it, till his own photograph (a black smudge on white) +gradually appeared to view. This he gravely slipped into the hands of +the maid of his choice, and then took his departure, apparently much +relieved. Had not Bell's light-headedness driven him away, the grieve +would have soon followed up his gift with an offer of his hand. Some +night Bell would have "seen him to the door," and they would have +stared sheepishly at each other before saying good-night. The parting +salutation given, the grieve would still have stood his ground, and +Bell would have waited with him. At last, "Will ye hae's, Bell?" would +have dropped from his half-reluctant lips; and Bell would have mumbled +"Ay," with her thumb in her mouth. "Guid nicht to ye, Bell," would be +the next remark--"Guid nicht to ye, Jeames," the answer; the humble +door would close softly, and Bell and her lad would have been engaged. +But, as it was, their attachment never got beyond the silhouette stage, +from which, in the ethics of the Auld Lichts, a man can draw back in +certain circumstances, without loss of honour. The only really tender +thing I ever heard an Auld Licht lover say to his sweetheart was when +Gowrie's brother looked softly into Easie Tamson's eyes and whispered, +"Do you swite (sweat)?" Even then the effect was produced more by the +loving cast in Gowrie's eye than by the tenderness of the words +themselves. + +The courtships were sometimes of long duration, but as soon as the +young man realized that he was courting he proposed. Cases were not +wanting in which he realized this for himself, but as a rule he had to +be told of it. + +There were a few instances of weddings among the Auld Lichts that did +not take place on Friday. Betsy Munn's brother thought to assert his +two coal-carts, about which he was sinfully puffed up, by getting +married early in the week; but he was a pragmatical feckless body, +Jamie. The foreigner from York that Finny's grieve after disappointing +Bell Whamond took, sought to sow the seeds of strife by urging that +Friday was an unlucky day; and I remember how the minister, who was +always great in a crisis, nipped the bickering in the bud by adducing +the conclusive fact that he had been married on the sixth day of the +week himself. It was a judicious policy on Mr. Dishart's part to take +vigorous action at once and insist on the solemnization of the marriage +on a Friday or not at all, for he best kept superstition out of the +congregation by branding it as heresy. Perhaps the Auld Lichts were +only ignorant of the grieve's lass's theory because they had not +thought of it. Friday's claims, too, were incontrovertible; for the +Saturday's being a slack day gave the couple an opportunity to put +their but and ben in order, and on Sabbath they had a gay day of it, +three times at the kirk. The honeymoon over, the racket of the loom +began again on the Monday. + +The natural politeness of the Allardice family gave me my invitation to +Tibbie's wedding. I was taking tea and cheese early one wintry +afternoon with the smith and his wife, when little Joey Todd in his +Sabbath clothes peered in at the passage, and then knocked primly at +the door. Andra forgot himself, and called out to him to come in by; +but Jess frowned him into silence, and hastily donning her black mutch, +received Willie on the threshold. Both halves of the door were open, +and the visitor had looked us over carefully before knocking; but he +had come with the compliments of Tibbie's mother, requesting the +pleasure of Jess and her man that evening to the lassie's marriage with +Sam'l Todd, and the knocking at the door was part of the ceremony. +Five minutes afterwards Joey returned to beg a moment of me in the +passage; when I, too, got my invitation. The lad had just received, +with an expression of polite surprise, though he knew he could claim it +as his right, a slice of crumbling shortbread, and taken his staid +departure, when Jess cleared the tea-things off the table, remarking +simply that it was a mercy we had not got beyond the first cup. We +then retired to dress. + +About six o'clock, the time announced for the ceremony, I elbowed my +way through the expectant throng of men, women, and children that +already besieged the smith's door. Shrill demands of "Toss, toss!" +rent the air every time Jess's head showed on the window-blind, and +Andra hoped, as I pushed open the door, "that I hadna forgotten my +bawbees." Weddings were celebrated among the Auld Lichts by showers of +ha'pence, and the guests on their way to the bride's house had to +scatter to the hungry rabble like housewives feeding poultry. Willie +Todd, the best man, who had never come out so strong in his life +before, slipped through the back window, while the crowd, led on by +Kitty McQueen, seethed in front, and making a bolt for it to the +"'Sosh," was back in a moment with a handful of small change. "Dinna +toss ower lavishly at first," the smith whispered me nervously, as we +followed Jess and Willie into the darkening wynd. + +The guests were packed hot and solemn in Johnny Allardice's "room:" the +men anxious to surrender their seats to the ladies who happened to be +standing, but too bashful to propose it; the ham and the fish frizzling +noisily side by side but the house, and hissing out every now and then +to let all whom it might concern know that Janet Craik was adding more +water to the gravy. A better woman never lived; but, oh, the hypocrisy +of the face that beamed greeting to the guests as if it had nothing to +do but politely show them in, and gasped next moment with upraised +arms, over what was nearly a fall in crockery. When Janet sped to the +door her "spleet new" merino dress fell, to the pulling of a string, +over her home-made petticoat, like the drop-scene in a theatre, and +rose as promptly when she returned to slice the bacon. The murmur of +admiration that filled the room when she entered with the minister was +an involuntary tribute to the spotlessness of her wrapper and a great +triumph for Janet. If there is an impression that the dress of the +Auld Lichts was on all occasions as sombre as their faces, let it be +known that the bride was but one of several in "whites," and that Mag +Munn had only at the last moment been dissuaded from wearing flowers. +The minister, the Auld Lichts congratulated themselves, disapproved of +all such decking of the person and bowing of the head to idols; but on +such an occasion he was not expected to observe it. Bell Whamond, +however, has reason for knowing that, marriages or no marriages, he +drew the line at curls. + +By and by Sam'l Todd, looking a little dazed, was pushed into the +middle of the room to Tibbie's side, and the minister raised his voice +in prayer. All eyes closed reverently, except perhaps the +bridegroom's, which seemed glazed and vacant. It was an open question +in the community whether Mr. Dishart did not miss his chance at +weddings; the men shaking their heads over the comparative brevity of +the ceremony, the women worshipping him (though he never hesitated to +rebuke them when they showed it too openly) for the urbanity of his +manners. At that time, however, only a minister of such experience as +Mr. Dishart's predecessor could lead up to a marriage in prayer without +inadvertently joining the couple; and the catechizing was mercifully +brief. Another prayer followed the union; the minister waived his +right to kiss the bride; every one looked at every other one, as if he +had for the moment forgotten what he was on the point of saying and +found it very annoying; and Janet signed frantically to Willie Todd, +who nodded intelligently in reply, but evidently had no idea what she +meant. In time Johnny Allardice, our host, who became more and more +doited as the night proceeded, remembered his instructions, and led the +way to the kitchen, where the guests, having politely informed their +hostess that they were not hungry, partook of a hearty tea. Mr. +Dishart presided with the bride and bridegroom near him; but though he +tried to give an agreeable turn to the conversation by describing the +extensions at the cemetery, his personality oppressed us, and we only +breathed freely when he rose to go. Yet we marvelled at his +versatility. In shaking hands with the newly-married couple the +minister reminded them that it was leap-year, and wished them "three +hundred and sixty-six happy and God-fearing days." + +Sam'l's station being too high for it, Tibbie did not have a penny +wedding, which her thrifty mother bewailed, penny weddings starting a +couple in life. I can recall nothing more characteristic of the nation +from which the Auld Lichts sprung than the penny wedding, where the +only revellers that were not out of pocket by it, were the couple who +gave the entertainment. The more the guests ate and drank the better, +pecuniarily, for their hosts. The charge for admission to the penny +wedding (practically to the feast that followed it) varied in different +districts, but with us it was generally a shilling. Perhaps the penny +extra to the fiddler accounts for the name penny wedding. The ceremony +having been gone through in the bride's house, there was an adjournment +to a barn or other convenient place of meeting, where was held the +nuptial feast; long white boards from Rob Angus's sawmill, supported on +trestles, stood in lieu of tables; and those of the company who could +not find a seat waited patiently against the wall for a vacancy. The +shilling gave every guest the free run of the groaning board, but +though fowls were plentiful, and even white bread too, little had been +spent on them. The farmers of the neighbourhood, who looked forward to +providing the young people with drills of potatoes for the coming +winter, made a bid for their custom by sending them a fowl gratis for +the marriage supper. It was popularly understood to be the oldest cock +of the farmyard, but for all that it made a brave appearance in a +shallow sea of soup. The fowls were always boiled--without exception, +so far as my memory carries me; the guid-wife never having the heart to +roast them, and so lose the broth. One round of whisky-and-water was +all the drink to which his shilling entitled the guest. If he wanted +more he had to pay for it. There was much revelry, with song and +dance, that no stranger could have thought those stiff-limbed weavers +capable of; and the more they shouted and whirled through the barn, the +more their host smiled and rubbed his hands. He presided at the bar +improvised for the occasion, and if the thing was conducted with +spirit, his bride flung an apron over her gown and helped him. I +remember one elderly bridegroom, who, having married a blind woman, had +to do double work at his penny wedding. It was a sight to see him +flitting about the torch-lit barn, with a kettle of hot water in one +hand and a besom to sweep up crumbs in the other. + +Though Sam'l had no penny wedding, however, we made a night of it at +his marriage. + +Wedding chariots were not in those days, though I know of Auld Lichts +being conveyed to marriages nowadays by horses with white ears. The +tea over, we formed in couples, and--the best man with the bride, the +bridegroom with the best maid, leading the way--marched in slow +procession in the moonlight night to Tibbie's new home, between lines +of hoarse and eager onlookers. An attempt was made by an itinerant +musician to head the company with his fiddle; but instrumental music, +even in the streets, was abhorrent to sound Auld Lichts, and the +minister had spoken privately to Willie Todd on the subject. As a +consequence, Peter was driven from the ranks. The last thing I saw +that night, as we filed, bare-headed and solemn, into the newly-married +couple's house, was Kitty McQueen's vigorous arm, in a dishevelled +sleeve, pounding a pair of urchins who had got between her and a muddy +ha'penny. + +That night there was revelry and boisterous mirth (or what the Auld +Lichts took for such) in Tibbie's kitchen. At eleven o'clock Davit +Lunan cracked a joke. Davie Haggart, in reply to Bell Dundas's +request, gave a song of distinctly secular tendencies. The bride (who +had carefully taken off her wedding gown on getting home and donned a +wrapper) coquettishly let the bridegroom's father hold her hand. In +Auld Licht circles, when one of the company was offered whisky and +refused it, the others, as if pained even at the offer, pushed it from +them as a thing abhorred. But Davie Haggart set another example on +this occasion, and no one had the courage to refuse to follow it. We +sat late round the dying fire, and it was only Willie Todd's scandalous +assertion (he was but a boy) about his being able to dance that induced +us to think of moving. In the community, I understand, this marriage +is still memorable as the occasion on which Bell Whamond laughed in the +minister's face. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE AULD LICHTS IN ARMS + +Arms and men I sing: douce Jeemsy Todd, rushing from his loom, armed +with a bed-post; Lisbeth Whamond, an avenging whirlwind; Neil Haggart, +pausing in his thanks-offerings to smite and slay; the impious foe +scudding up the bleeding Brae-head with Nemesis at their flashing +heels; the minister holding it a nice question whether the carnage was +not justified. Then came the two hours' sermons of the following +Sabbath, when Mr. Dishart, revolving like a teetotum in the pulpit, +damned every bandaged person present, individually and collectively; +and Lang Tammas, in the precentor's box with a plaster on his cheek, +included any one the minister might have by chance omitted, and the +congregation, with most of their eyes bunged up, burst into psalms of +praise. + +Twice a year the Auld Lichts went demented. The occasion was the Fast +Day at Tilliedrum; when its inhabitants, instead of crowding reverently +to the kirk, swooped profanely down in their scores and tens of scores +on our God-fearing town, intent on making a day of it. Then did the +weavers rise as one man, and go forth to show the ribald crew the +errors of their way. All denominations were represented, but Auld +Lichts led. An Auld Licht would have taken no man's blood without the +conviction that he would be the better morally for the bleeding; and if +Tammas Lunan's case gave an impetus to the blows, it can only have been +because it opened wider Auld Licht eyes to Tilliedrum's desperate +condition. Mr. Dishart's predecessor more than once remarked, that at +the Creation the devil put forward a claim for Thrums, but said he +would take his chance of Tilliedrum; and the statement was generally +understood to be made on the authority of the original Hebrew. + +The mustard-seed of a feud between the two parishes shot into a tall +tree in a single night, when Davit Lunan's father went to a tattie roup +at Tilliedrum and thoughtlessly died there. Twenty-four hours +afterwards a small party of staid Auld Lichts, carrying long white +poles, stepped out of various wynds and closes and picked their solemn +way to the house of mourning. Nanny Low, the widow, received them +dejectedly, as one oppressed by the knowledge that her man's death at +such an inopportune place did not fulfil the promise of his youth; and +her guests admitted bluntly that they were disappointed in Tammas. +Snecky Hobart's father's unusually long and impressive prayer was an +official intimation that the deceased, in the opinion of the session, +sorely needed everything of the kind he could get; and then the silent +driblet of Auld Lichts in black stalked off in the direction of +Tilliedrum. Women left their spinning-wheels and pirns to follow them +with their eyes along the Tenements, and the minister was known to be +holding an extra service at the manse. When the little procession +reached the boundary-line between the two parishes, they sat down on a +dyke and waited. + +By and by half a dozen men drew near from the opposite direction, +bearing on poles the remains of Tammas Lunan in a closed coffin. The +coffin was brought to within thirty yards of those who awaited it, and +then roughly lowered to the ground. Its bearers rested morosely on +their poles. In conveying Lunan's remains to the borders of his own +parish they were only conforming to custom; but Thrums and Tilliedrum +differed as to where the boundary-line was drawn, and not a foot would +either advance into the other's territory. For half a day the coffin +lay unclaimed, and the two parties sat scowling at each other. Neither +dared move. Gloaming had stolen into the valley when Dite Deuchars of +Tilliedrum rose to his feet and deliberately spat upon the coffin. A +stone whizzed through the air; and then the ugly spectacle was +presented, in the grey night, of a dozen mutes fighting with their +poles over a coffin. There was blood on the shoulders that bore +Tammas's remains to Thrums. + +After that meeting Tilliedrum lived for the Fast Day. Never, perhaps, +was there a community more given up to sin, and Thrums felt "called" to +its chastisement. The insult to Lunan's coffin, however, dispirited +their weavers for a time, and not until the suicide of Pitlums did they +put much fervour into their prayers. It made new men of them. +Tilliedrum's sins had found it out. Pitlums was a farmer in the parish +of Thrums, but he had been born at Tilliedrum; and Thrums thanked +Providence for that, when it saw him suspended between two hams from +his kitchen rafters. The custom was to cart suicides to the quarry at +the Galla pond and bury them near the cairn that had supported the +gallows; but on this occasion not a farmer in the parish would lend a +cart, and for a week the corpse lay on the sanded floor as it had been +cut down--an object of awe-struck interest to boys who knew no better +than to peep through the darkened window. Tilliedrum bit its lips at +home. The Auld Licht minister, it was said, had been approached on the +subject; but, after serious consideration, did not see his way to +offering up a prayer. Finally old Hobart and two others tied a rope +round the body, and dragged it from the farm to the cairn, a distance +of four miles. Instead of this incident's humbling Tilliedrum into +attending church, the next Fast Day saw its streets deserted. As for +the Thrums Auld Lichts, only heavy wobs prevented their walking erect +like men who had done their duty. If no prayer was volunteered for +Pitlums before his burial, there was a great deal of psalm-singing +after it. + +By early morn on their Fast Day the Tilliedrummers were straggling into +Thrums, and the weavers, already at their looms, read the clattering of +feet and carts aright. To convince themselves, all they had to do was +to raise their eyes; but the first triumph would have been to +Tilliedrum if they had done that. The invaders--the men in Aberdeen +blue serge coats, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnets, and the +wincey gowns of the women set off with hooded cloaks of red or +tartan--tapped at the windows and shouted insultingly as they passed; +but, with pursed lips, Thrums bent fiercely over its wobs, and not an +Auld Licht showed outside his door. The day wore on to noon, and still +ribaldry was master of the wynds. But there was a change inside the +houses. The minister had pulled down his blinds; moody men had left +their looms for stools by the fire; there were rumours of a conflict in +Andra Gowrie's close, from which Kitty McQueen had emerged with her +short gown in rags; and Lang Tammas was going from door to door. The +austere precentor admonished fiery youth to beware of giving way to +passion; and it was a proud day for the Auld Lichts to find their +leading elder so conversant with apt Scripture texts. They bowed their +heads reverently while he thundered forth that those who lived by the +sword would perish by the sword; and when he had finished they took him +ben to inspect their bludgeons. I have a vivid recollection of going +the round of the Auld Licht and other houses to see the sticks and the +wrists in coils of wire. + +A stranger in the Tenements in the afternoon would have noted more than +one draggled youth, in holiday attire, sitting on a doorstep with a wet +cloth to his nose; and, passing down the Commonty, he would have had to +step over prostrate lumps of humanity from which all shape had +departed. Gavin Ogilvy limped heavily after his encounter with Thrummy +Tosh--a struggle that was looked forward to eagerly as a bi-yearly +event; Chirsty Davie's development of muscle had not prevented her +going down before the terrible onslaught of Joe the miller, and Lang +Tammas's plasters told a tale. It was in the square that the two +parties, leading their maimed and blind, formed in force; Tilliedrum +thirsting for its opponents' blood, and Thrums humbly accepting the +responsibility of punching the Fast Day breakers into the ways of +rectitude. In the small ill-kept square the invaders, to the number of +about a hundred, were wedged together at its upper end, while the +Thrums people formed in a thick line at the foot. For its inhabitants +the way to Tilliedrum lay through this threatening mass of armed +weavers. No words were bandied between the two forces; the centre of +the square was left open, and nearly every eye was fixed on the +town-house clock. It directed operations and gave the signal to +charge. The moment six o'clock struck, the upper mass broke its bonds +and flung itself on the living barricade. There was a clatter of heads +and sticks, a yelling and a groaning, and then the invaders, bursting +through the opposing ranks, fled for Tilliedrum. Down the Tanage brae +and up the Braehead they skurried, half a hundred avenging spirits in +pursuit. On the Tilliedrum Fast Day I have tasted blood myself. In +the godless place there is no Auld Licht kirk, but there are two Auld +Lichts in it now who walk to Thrums to church every Sabbath, blow or +rain as it lists. They are making their influence felt in Tilliedrum. + +The Auld Lichts also did valorous deeds at the Battle of Cabbylatch. +The farm land so named lies a mile or more to the south of Thrums. You +have to go over the rim of the cup to reach it. It is low-lying and +uninteresting to the eye, except for some giant stones scattered cold +and naked through the fields. No human hands reared these boulders, +but they might be looked upon as tombstones to the heroes who fell (to +rise hurriedly) on the plain of Cabbylatch. + +The fight of Cabbylatch belongs to the days of what are now but dimly +remembered as the Meal Mobs. Then there was a wild cry all over the +country for bread (not the fine loaves that we know, but something very +much coarser), and hungry men and women, prematurely shrunken, began to +forget the taste of meal. Potatoes were their chief sustenance, and, +when the crop failed, starvation gripped them. At that time the +farmers, having control of the meal, had the small towns at their +mercy, and they increased its cost. The price of the meal went up and +up, until the famishing people swarmed up the sides of the carts in +which it was conveyed to the towns, and, tearing open the sacks, +devoured it in handfuls. In Thrums they had a stern sense of justice, +and for a time, after taking possession of the meal, they carried it to +the square and sold it at what they considered a reasonable price. The +money was handed over to the farmers. The honesty of this is worth +thinking about, but it seems to have only incensed the farmers the +more; and when they saw that to send their meal to the town was not to +get high prices for it, they laid their heads together and then gave +notice that the people who wanted meal and were able to pay for it must +come to the farms. In Thrums no one who cared to live on porridge and +bannocks had money to satisfy the farmers; but, on the other hand, none +of them grudged going for it, and go they did. They went in numbers +from farm to farm, like bands of hungry rats, and throttled the +opposition they not infrequently encountered. The raging farmers at +last met in council and, noting that they were lusty men and brave, +resolved to march in armed force upon the erring people and burn their +town. Now we come to the Battle of Cabbylatch. + +The farmers were not less than eighty strong, and chiefly consisted of +cavalry. Armed with pitchforks and cumbrous scythes where they were +not able to lay their hands on the more orthodox weapons of war, they +presented a determined appearance; the few foot-soldiers who had no +cart-horses at their disposal bearing in their arms bundles of +fire-wood. One memorable morning they set out to avenge their losses; +and by and by a halt was called, when each man bowed his head to +listen. In Thrums, pipe and drum were calling the inhabitants to arms. +Scouts rushed in with the news that the farmers were advancing rapidly +upon the town, and soon the streets were clattering with feet. At that +time Thrums had its piper and drummer (the bellman of a later and more +degenerate age); and on this occasion they marched together through the +narrow wynds, firing the blood of haggard men and summoning them to the +square. According to my informant's father, the gathering of these +angry and startled weavers, when he thrust his blue bonnet on his head +and rushed out to join them, was an impressive and solemn spectacle. +That bloodshed was meant there can be no doubt; for starving men do not +see the ludicrous side of things. The difference between the farmers +and the town had resolved itself into an ugly and sullen hate, and the +wealthier townsmen who would have come between the people and the bread +were fiercely pushed aside. There was no nominal leader, but every man +in the ranks meant to fight for himself and his belongings; and they +are said to have sallied out to meet the foe in no disorder. The women +they would fain have left behind them; but these had their own injuries +to redress, and they followed in their husbands' wake carrying bags of +stones. The men, who were of various denominations, were armed with +sticks, blunderbusses, anything they could snatch up at a moment's +notice; and some of them were not unacquainted with fighting. Dire +silence prevailed among the men, but the women shouted as they ran, and +the curious army moved forward to the drone and squall of drum and +pipe. The enemy was sighted on the level land of Cabbylatch; and here, +while the intending combatants glared at each other, a well-known local +magnate galloped his horse between them and ordered them in the name of +the King to return to their homes. But for the farmers that meant +further depredation at the people's hands, and the townsmen would not +go back to their gloomy homes to sit down and wait for sunshine. Soon +stones (the first, it is said, cast by a woman) darkened the air. The +farmers got the word to charge, but their horses, with the best +intentions, did not know the way. There was a stampeding in different +directions, a blind rushing of one frightened steed against another; +and then the townspeople, breaking any ranks they had hitherto managed +to keep, rushed vindictively forward. The struggle at Cabbylatch +itself was not of long duration; for their own horses proved the +farmers' worst enemies, except in the cases where these sagacious +animals took matters into their own ordering and bolted judiciously for +their stables. The day was to Thrums. + +Individual deeds of prowess were done that day. Of these not the least +fondly remembered by her descendants were those of the gallant matron +who pursued the most obnoxious farmer in the district even to his very +porch with heavy stones and opprobrious epithets. Once when he thought +he had left her far behind did he alight to draw breath and take a +pinch of snuff, and she was upon him like a flail. With a +terror-stricken cry he leapt once more upon his horse and fled, but not +without leaving his snuff-box in the hands of the derisive enemy. +Meggy has long gone to the kirkyard, but the snuff-mull is still +preserved. + +Some ugly cuts were given and received, and heads as well as ribs were +broken; but the townsmen's triumph was short-lived. The ringleaders +were whipped through the streets of Perth, as a warning to persons +thinking of taking the law into their own hands; and all the lasting +consolation they got was that, some time afterwards, the chief witness +against them, the parish minister, met with a mysterious death. They +said it was evidently the hand of God; but some people looked +suspiciously at them when they said it. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE OLD DOMINIE + +From the new cemetery, which is the highest point in Thrums, you just +fail to catch sight of the red schoolhouse that nestles between two +bare trees, some five miles up the glen of Quharity. This was proved +by Davit Lunan, tinsmith, whom I have heard tell the story. It was in +the time when the cemetery gates were locked to keep the bodies of +suicides out, but men who cared to risk the consequences could get the +coffin over the high dyke and bury it themselves. Peter Lundy's coffin +broke, as one might say, into the churchyard in this way, Peter having +hanged himself in the Whunny wood when he saw that work he must. The +general feeling among the intimates of the deceased was expressed by +Davit when he said: + +"It may do the crittur nae guid i' the tail o' the day, but he paid +for's bit o' ground, an' he's in's richt to occupy it." + +The custom was to push the coffin on to the wall up a plank, and then +let it drop less carefully into the cemetery. Some of the mourners +were dragging the plank over the wall, with Davit Lunan on the top +directing them, when they seem to have let go and sent the tinsmith +suddenly into the air. A week afterwards it struck Davit, when in the +act of soldering a hole in Leeby Wheens's flagon (here he branched off +to explain that he had made the flagon years before, and that Leeby was +sister to Tammas Wheens, and married one Baker Robbie, who died of +chicken-pox in his forty-fourth year), that when "up there" he had a +view of Quharity schoolhouse. Davit was as truthful as a man who tells +the same story more than once can be expected to be, and it is far from +a suspicious circumstance that he did not remember seeing the +schoolhouse all at once. In Thrums things only struck them gradually. +The new cemetery, for instance, was only so called because it had been +new once. + +In this red stone school, full of the modern improvements that he +detested, the old dominie whom I succeeded taught, and sometimes slept, +during the last five years of his cantankerous life. It was in a +little thatched school, consisting of but one room, that he did his +best work, some five hundred yards away from the edifice that was +reared in its stead. Now dismally fallen into disrepute, often indeed +a domicile for cattle, the ragged academy of Glen Quharity, where he +held despotic sway for nearly half a century, is falling to pieces +slowly in a howe that conceals it from the high road. Even in its best +scholastic days, when it sent barefooted lads to college who helped to +hasten the Disruption, it was but a pile of ungainly stones, such as +Scott's Black Dwarf flung together in a night, with holes in its broken +roof of thatch where the rain trickled through, and never with less +than two of its knotted little window-panes stopped with brown paper. +The twelve or twenty pupils of both sexes who constituted the +attendance sat at the two loose desks, which never fell unless you +leaned on them, with an eye on the corner of the earthen floor where +the worms came out, and on cold days they liked the wind to turn the +peat smoke into the room. One boy, who was supposed to wash it out, +got his education free for keeping the schoolhouse dirty, and the +others paid their way with peats, which they brought in their hands, +just as wealthier school-children carry books, and with pence which the +dominie collected regularly every Monday morning. The attendance on +Monday mornings was often small. + +Once a year the dominie added to his income by holding cockfights in +the old school. This was at Yule, and the same practice held in the +parish school of Thrums. It must have been a strange sight. Every +male scholar was expected to bring a cock to the school, and to pay a +shilling to the dominie for the privilege of seeing it killed there. +The dominie was the master of the sports, assisted by the neighbouring +farmers, some of whom might be elders of the church. Three rounds were +fought. By the end of the first round all the cocks had fought, and +the victors were then pitted against each other. The cocks that +survived the second round were eligible for the third, and the dominie, +besides his shilling, got every cock killed. Sometimes, if all stories +be true, the spectators were fighting with each other before the third +round concluded. + +The glen was but sparsely dotted with houses even in those days; a +number of them inhabited by farmer-weavers, who combined two trades and +just managed to live. One would have a plough, another a horse, and so +in Glen Quharity they helped each other. Without a loom in addition +many of them would have starved, and on Saturdays the big farmer and +his wife, driving home in a gig, would pass the little farmer carrying +or wheeling his wob to Thrums. When there was no longer a market for +the produce of the hand-loom these farms had to be given up, and thus +it is that the old school is not the only house in our weary glen +around which gooseberry and currant bushes, once tended by careful +hands, now grow wild. + +In heavy spates the children were conveyed to the old school, as they +are still to the new one, in carts, and between it and the dominie's +whitewashed dwelling-house swirled in winter a torrent of water that +often carried lumps of the land along with it. This burn he had at +times to ford on stilts. + +Before the Education Act passed the dominie was not much troubled by +the school inspector, who appeared in great splendour every year at +Thrums. Fifteen years ago, however, Glen Quharity resolved itself into +a School Board, and marched down the glen, with the minister at its +head, to condemn the school. When the dominie, who had heard of their +design, saw the Board approaching, he sent one of his scholars, who +enjoyed making a mess of himself, wading across the burn to bring over +the stilts which were lying on the other side. The Board were thus +unable to send across a spokesman, and after they had harangued the +dominie, who was in the best of tempers, from the wrong side of the +stream, the siege was raised by their returning home, this time with +the minister in the rear. So far as is known this was the only +occasion on which the dominie ever lifted his hat to the minister. He +was the Established Church minister at the top of the glen, but the +dominie was an Auld Licht, and trudged into Thrums to church nearly +every Sunday with his daughter. + +The farm of Little Tilly lay so close to the dominie's house that from +one window he could see through a telescope whether the farmer was +going to church, owing to Little Tilly's habit of never shaving except +with that intention, and of always doing it at a looking-glass which he +hung on a nail in his door. The farmer was Established Church, and +when the dominie saw him in his shirt-sleeves with a razor in his hand, +he called for his black clothes. If he did not see him it is +undeniable that the dominie sent his daughter to Thrums, but remained +at home himself. Possibly, therefore, the dominie sometimes went to +church, because he did not want to give Little Tilly and the +Established minister the satisfaction of knowing that he was not devout +to-day, and it is even conceivable that had Little Tilly had a +telescope and an intellect as well as his neighbour, he would have +spied on the dominie in return. He sent the teacher a load of potatoes +every year, and the recipient rated him soundly if they did not turn +out as well as the ones he had got the autumn before. Little Tilly was +rather in awe of the dominie, and had an idea that he was a +Freethinker, because he played the fiddle and wore a black cap. + +The dominie was a wizened-looking little man, with sharp eyes that +pierced you when they thought they were unobserved, and if any visitor +drew near who might be a member of the Board, he disappeared into his +house much as a startled weasel makes for its hole. The most striking +thing about him was his walk, which to the casual observer seemed a +limp. The glen in our part is marshy, and to progress along it you +have to jump from one little island of grass or heather to another. +Perhaps it was this that made the dominie take the main road and even +the streets of Thrums in leaps, as if there were boulders or puddles in +the way. It is, however, currently believed among those who knew him +best that he jerked himself along in that way when he applied for the +vacancy in Glen Quharity school, and that he was therefore chosen from +among the candidates by the committee of farmers, who saw that he was +specially constructed for the district. + +In the spring the inspector was sent to report on the school, and, of +course, he said, with a wave of his hand, that this would never do. So +a new school was built, and the ramshackle little academy that had done +good service in its day was closed for the last time. For years it had +been without a lock; ever since a blatter of wind and rain drove the +door against the fireplace. After that it was the dominie's custom, on +seeing the room cleared, to send in a smart boy--a dux was always +chosen--who wedged a clod of earth or peat between doorpost and door. +Thus the school was locked up for the night. The boy came out by the +window, where he entered to open the door next morning. In time grass +hid the little path from view that led to the old school, and a dozen +years ago every particle of wood about the building, including the door +and the framework of the windows, had been burned by travelling tinkers. + +The Board would have liked to leave the dominie in his white-washed +dwelling-house to enjoy his old age comfortably, and until he learned +that he had intended to retire. Then he changed his tactics and +removed his beard. Instead of railing at the new school, he began to +approve of it, and it soon came to the ears of the horrified +Established minister, who had a man (Established) in his eye for the +appointment, that the dominie was looking ten years younger. As he +spurned a pension he had to get the place, and then began a warfare of +bickerings between the Board and him, that lasted until within a few +weeks of his death. In his scholastic barn the dominie had thumped the +Latin grammar into his scholars till they became university bursars to +escape him. In the new school, with maps (which he hid in the +hen-house) and every other modern appliance for making teaching easy, +he was the scandal of the glen. He snapped at the clerk of the Board's +throat, and barred his door in the minister's face. It was one of his +favourite relaxations to peregrinate the district, telling the farmers +who were not on the Board themselves, but were given to gossiping with +those who were, that though he could slumber pleasantly in the school +so long as the hum of the standards was kept up, he immediately woke if +it ceased. + +Having settled himself in his new quarters, the dominie seems to have +read over the code, and come at once to the conclusion that it would be +idle to think of straightforwardly fulfilling its requirements. The +inspector he regarded as a natural enemy, who was to be circumvented by +much guile. One year that admirable Oxford don arrived at the school, +to find that all the children, except two girls--one of whom had her +face tied up with red flannel--were away for the harvest. On another +occasion the dominie met the inspector's trap some distance from the +school, and explained that he would guide him by a short cut, leaving +the driver to take the dog-cart to a farm where it could be put up. +The unsuspecting inspector agreed, and they set off, the obsequious +dominie carrying his bag. He led his victim into another glen, the +hills round which had hidden their heads in mist, and then slyly +remarked that he was afraid they had lost their way. The minister, who +liked to attend the examination, reproved the dominie for providing no +luncheon, but turned pale when his enemy suggested that he should +examine the boys in Latin. + +For some reason that I could never discover, the dominie had all his +life refused to teach his scholars geography. The Inspector and many +others asked him why there was no geography class, and his invariable +answer was to point to his pupils collectively, and reply in an +impressive whisper-- + +"They winna hae her." + +This story, too, seems to reflect against the dominie's views on +cleanliness. One examination day the minister attended to open the +inspection with prayer. Just as he was finishing, a scholar entered +who had a reputation for dirt. + +"Michty!" cried a little pupil, as his opening eyes fell on the +apparition at the door, "there's Jocky Tamson wi' his face washed!" + +When the dominie was a younger man he had first clashed with the +minister during Mr. Rattray's attempts to do away with some old customs +that were already dying by inches. One was the selection of a queen of +beauty from among the young women at the annual Thrums fair. The +judges, who were selected from the better-known farmers as a rule, sat +at the door of a tent that reeked of whisky, and regarded the +competitors filing by much as they selected prize sheep, with a stolid +stare. There was much giggling and blushing on these occasions among +the maidens, and shouts from their relatives and friends to "Haud yer +head up, Jean," and "Lat them see yer een, Jess." The dominie enjoyed +this, and was one time chosen a judge, when he insisted on the prize's +being bestowed on his own daughter, Marget. The other judges demurred, +but the dominie remained firm and won the day. + +"She wasna the best-faured amon them," he admitted afterwards, "but a +man maun mak the maist o' his ain." + +The dominie, too, would not shake his head with Mr. Rattray over the +apple and loaf bread raffles in the smithy, nor even at the Daft Days, +the black week of glum debauch that ushered in the year, a period when +the whole countryside rumbled to the farmer's "kebec"-laden cart. + +For the great part of his career the dominie had not made forty pounds +a year, but he "died worth" about three hundred pounds. The moral of +his life came in just as he was leaving it, for he rose from his +deathbed to hide a whisky bottle from his wife. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +CREE QUEERY AND MYSY DROLLY + +The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved +his mother. I never heard the Grinder's real name. He and his mother +were Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to +these names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent +forward as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp +the shafts of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter uphill +and downhill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck, and +fastened to the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly +strangling him. By and by there came a time when the barrow and the +weaver seemed both palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would +stop in the middle of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. +Then he laid himself down behind it to prevent the barrow's slipping +back. On those occasions only the barefooted boys who jeered at the +panting weaver could put new strength into his shrivelled arms. They +did it by telling him that he and Mysy would have to go to the +"poorshouse" after all, at which the grey old man would wince, as if +"joukin" from a blow, and, shuddering, rise and, with a desperate +effort, gain the top of the incline. Small blame perhaps attached to +Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a little dottle. His loads of +yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, and his eyelids quivered +as he drew near. Boys used to gather round the gate in anticipation of +his coming, and make a feint of driving him inside. Cree, when he +observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts terrified to approach, and +I see them now pointing to the workhouse till he left his barrow on the +road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he ran. + +It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young +and straight, a callant who wore a flower in his buttonhole, and tried +to be a hero for a maiden's sake. + +Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor-grinder +for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he +went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs +failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the +pauper's home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be +seen. Grinder Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone +along the long high road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a +few hundred yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or +behind a paling, returned for his mother. Her he led--sometimes he +almost carried her--to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by +double journeys kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy's death +would be a merciful release--every one but Cree. + +Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from +his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a +time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan'l Wilkie's wife, and find +employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters +for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never +heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all +Mysy could tell me to put in writing was--"Oh, my son Cree; oh, my +beloved son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my +Cree!" On one of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, +which, she said, would perhaps help me to write the letter. It had +been drawn up by Cree many years before, when he and his mother had +been compelled to part for a time, and I saw from it that he had been +trying to teach Mysy to write. The paper consisted of phrases such as +"Dear son Cree," "Loving mother," "I am takin' my food weel," +"Yesterday," "Blankets," "The peats is near done," "Mr. Dishart," "Come +home, Cree." The Grinder had left this paper with his mother, and she +had written letters to him from it. + +When Dan'l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in +his house Cree came back to Thrums and took a single room with a +hand-loom in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread +over it to protect Mysy's feet. The room contained two dilapidated old +coffin-beds, a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged +stools, and two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the +other. In one corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own +pirns. There was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece +hung the wag-at-the-wall clock, the timepiece that was commonest in +Thrums at that time, and that got this name because its exposed +pendulum swung along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each +other on opposite walls, and were so small that even a child might have +stuck in trying to crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a +door. In the wall of the dark passage leading from the outer door into +the room was a recess where a pan and pitcher of water always stood +wedded, as it were, and a little hole, known as the "bole," in the wall +opposite the fireplace contained Cree's library. It consisted of +Baxter's "Saints' Rest," Harvey's "Meditations," the "Pilgrim's +Progress," a work on folk-lore, and several Bibles. The saut-backet, +or salt-bucket, stood at the end of the fender, which was half of an +old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, whistling "Ower the watter for +Chairlie" to make Mysy think that he was as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew +querulous in her old age, and up to the end she thought of poor, done +Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving far on into the night +could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. He began at six +o'clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the light of his +cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those days, though +it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses in the +glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man's palm, and +shaped not unlike the palm when contracted, and deepened to hold a +liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was +a rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by +herd-boys at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. +The rashes skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was +placed inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in +time the oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a +deck or hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it +gave but a stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more +than the half of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for +wicks. He was too dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart +called occasionally and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The +lies Cree told Mysy were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, +and that he wore the overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a +blanket to keep her warm. + +There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used to +climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, +which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bed-ridden by this time, +and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his +persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had +busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to +flatter them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. +One night it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day +listening for her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would +come in the form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to +forestall the spirit. Dite Gow's boy, who is now a grown man, was +hoisted up to one of the little windows, and he has always thought of +Mysy since as he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so +far as he could see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her. + +Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy +was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the +little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner +shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this he +kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the +kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without +disturbing Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats +on tiptoe. His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got +down on his knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in +his hands, he returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the +bed where Mysy lay. Though Tammy Gow's face was pressed against a +broken window he did not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some +say that Mysy heard, but pretended not to do so for her son's sake, +that she realized the deception he played on her, and had not the heart +to undeceive him. But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys +left Cree alone that night. + +The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left +him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At +first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed +after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree's trouser +pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of +his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day's labour was +over said that the weaver kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and +that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip +through his fingers. So there were boys who called "Miser Queery" +after him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to +keep himself from the workhouse. + +But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his deathbed what he +had been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, +died of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after +being accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal +indeed. The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, +and when Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his +corduroys from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, +attended him in his last illness, looked on curiously, while Cree added +the sixpences and coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After +all they only made some two pounds, but a look of peace came into +Cree's eyes as he told the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. +Nearly twelve years previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, +and though the money was never asked for, it preyed on Cree's mind that +he was in debt. He payed off all he owed, and so Cree's life was not, +I think, a failure. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE COURTING OF T'NOWHEAD'S BELL + +For two years it had been notorious in the square that Sam'l Dickie was +thinking of courting T'nowhead's Bell, and that if little Sanders +Elshioner (which is the Thrums pronunciation of Alexander Alexander) +went in for her he might prove a formidable rival. Sam'l was a weaver +in the Tenements, and Sanders a coal-carter whose trade mark was a bell +on his horse's neck that told when coals were coming. Being something +of a public man, Sanders had not perhaps so high a social position as +Sam'l, but he had succeeded his father on the coal-cart, while the +weaver had already tried several trades. It had always been against +Sam'l, too, that once when the kirk was vacant he had advised the +selection of the third minister who preached for it on the ground that +it came expensive to pay a large number of candidates. The scandal of +the thing was hushed up, out of respect for his father, who was a +God-fearing man, but Sam'l was known by it in Lang Tammas's circle. +The coal-carter was called Little Sanders to distinguish him from his +father, who was not much more than half his size. He had grown up with +the name, and its inapplicability now came home to nobody. Sam'l's +mother had been more far-seeing than Sanders's. Her man had been +called Sammy all his life because it was the name he got as a boy, so +when their eldest son was born she spoke of him as Sam'l while still in +his cradle. The neighbours imitated her, and thus the young man had a +better start in life than had been granted to Sammy, his father. + +It was Saturday evening--the night in the week when Auld Licht young +men fell in love. Sam'l Dickie, wearing a blue glengarry bonnet with a +red ball on the top, came to the door of a one-storey house in the +Tenements and stood there wriggling, for he was in a suit of tweed for +the first time that week, and did not feel at one with them. When his +feeling of being a stranger to himself wore off he looked up and down +the road, which straggles between houses and gardens, and then, picking +his way over the puddles, crossed to his father's hen-house and sat +down on it. He was now on his way to the square. + +Eppie Fargus was sitting on an adjoining dyke knitting stockings, and +Sam'l looked at her for a time. + +"Is't yersel, Eppie?" he said at last + +"It's a' that," said Eppie. + +"Hoo's a' wi' ye?" asked Sam'l. + +"We're juist aff an' on," replied Eppie, cautiously. + +There was not much more to say, but as Sam'l sidled off the henhouse he +murmured politely, "Ay, ay." In another minute he would have been +fairly started, but Eppie resumed the conversation. + +"Sam'l," she said, with a twinkle in her eye, "ye can tell Lisbeth +Fargus I'll likely be drappin' in on her aboot Mununday or Teisday." + +Lisbeth was sister to Eppie, and wife of Tammas McQuhatty, better known +as T'nowhead, which was the name of his farm. She was thus Bell's +mistress. + +Sam'l leant against the henhouse as if all his desire to depart had +gone. + +"Hoo d'ye kin I'll be at the T'nowhead the nicht?" he asked, grinning +in anticipation. + +"Ou, I'se warrant ye'll be after Bell," said Eppie. + +"Am no sae sure o' that," said Sam'l, trying to leer. He was enjoying +himself now. + +"Am no sure o' that," he repeated, for Eppie seemed lost in stitches. + +"Sam'l?" + +"Ay." + +"Ye'll be speirin' her sune noo, I dinna doot?" + +This took Sam'l, who had only been courting Bell for a year or two, a +little aback. + +"Hoo d'ye mean, Eppie?" he asked. + +"Maybe ye'll do't the nicht." + +"Na, there's nae hurry," said Sam'l. + +"Weel, we're a' coontin' on't, Sam'l." + +"Gae wa wi' ye." + +"What for no'?" + +"Gae wa wi' ye," said Sam'l again. + +"Bell's get an' fond o' ye, Sam'l." + +"Ay," said Sam'l. + +"But am dootin' ye're a fell billy wi' the lasses." + +"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. + +"I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on +terr'ble wi Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." + +"We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l. + +"It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." + +"Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that." + +"Ye maun kin weel, Sam'l, 'at there's mony a lass wid jump at ye." + +"Ou, weel," said Sam'l, implying that a man must take these things as +they come. + +"For ye're a dainty chield to look at, Sam'l." + +"Do ye think so, Eppie? Ay, ay; oh, I d'na kin am onything by the +ordinar." + +"Ye mayna be," said Eppie, "but lasses doesna do to be ower partikler." + +Sam'l resented this, and prepared to depart again. + +"Ye'll no tell Bell that?" he asked, anxiously. + +"Tell her what?" + +"Aboot me an' Mysy." + +"We'll see hoo ye behave yersel, Sam'l." + +"No 'at I care, Eppie; ye can tell her gin ye like. I widna think +twice o' tellin her mysel." + +"The Lord forgie ye for leein', Sam'l," said Eppie, as he disappeared +down Tammy Tosh's close. Here he came upon Henders Webster. + +"Ye're late, Sam'l," said Henders. + +"What for?" + +"Ou, I was thinkin' ye wid be gaen the length o' T'nowhead the nicht, +an' I saw Sanders Elshioner makkin's wy there an oor syne." + +"Did ye?" cried Sam'l, adding craftily, "but it's naething to me." + +"Tod, lad," said Henders, "gin ye dinna buckle to, Sanders'll be +carryin' her off." + +Sam'l flung back his head and passed on. + +"Sam'l!" cried Henders after him. + +"Ay," said Sam'l, wheeling round. + +"Gie Bell a kiss frae me." + +The full force of this joke struck neither all at once. Sam'l began to +smile at it as he turned down the school-wynd, and it came upon Henders +while he was in his garden feeding his ferret. Then he slapped his +legs gleefully, and explained the conceit to Will'um Byars, who went +into the house and thought it over. + +There were twelve or twenty little groups of men in the square, which +was lit by a flare of oil suspended over a cadger's cart. Now and +again a staid young woman passed through the square with a basket on +her arm, and if she had lingered long enough to give them time, some of +the idlers would have addressed her. As it was, they gazed after her, +and then grinned to each other. + +"Ay, Sam'l," said two or three young men, as Sam'l joined them beneath +the town clock. + +"Ay, Davit," replied Sam'l. + +This group was composed of some of the sharpest wits in Thrums, and it +was not to be expected that they would let this opportunity pass. +Perhaps when Sam'l joined them he knew what was in store for him. + +"Was ye lookin' for T'nowhead's Bell, Sam'l?" asked one. + +"Or mebbe ye was wantin' the minister?" suggested another, the same who +had walked out twice with Chirsty Duff and not married her after all. + +Sam'l could not think of a good reply at the moment, so he laughed +good-naturedly. + +"Ondoobtedly she's a snod bit crittur," said Davit, archly. + +"An' michty clever wi' her fingers," added Jamie Deuchars. + +"Man, I've thocht o' makkin' up to Bell mysel," said Pete Ogle. "Wid +there be ony chance, think ye, Sam'l?" + +"I'm thinkin' she widna hae ye for her first, Pete," replied Sam'l, in +one of those happy flashes that come to some men, "but there's nae +sayin' but what she micht tak ye to finish up wi.'" + +The unexpectedness of this sally startled every one. Though Sam'l did +not set up for a wit, however, like Davit, it was notorious that he +could say a cutting thing once in a way. + +"Did ye ever see Bell reddin up?" asked Pete, recovering from his +overthrow. He was a man who bore no malice. + +"It's a sicht," said Sam'l, solemnly. + +"Hoo will that be?" asked Jamie Deuchars. + +"It's weel worth yer while," said Pete, "to ging atower to the +T'nowhead an' see. Ye'll mind the closed-in beds i' the kitchen? Ay, +weel, they're a fell spoilt crew, T'nowhead's litlins, an' no that aisy +to manage. Th' ither lasses Lisbeth's hae'n had a michty trouble wi' +them. When they war i' the middle o' their reddin up the bairns wid +come tumlin' about the floor, but, sal, I assure ye, Bell didna fash +lang wi' them. Did she, Sam'l?" + +"She did not," said Sam'l, dropping into a fine mode of speech to add +emphasis to his remark. + +"I'll tell ye what she did," said Pete to the others. "She juist +lifted up the litlins, twa at a time, an' flung them into the +coffin-beds. Syne she snibbit the doors on them, an' keepit them there +till the floor was dry." + +"Ay, man, did she so?" said Davit, admiringly. + +"I've seen her do't mysel," said Sam'l. + +"There's no a lassie maks better bannocks this side o' Fetter Lums," +continued Pete. + +"Her mither tocht her that," said Sam'l; "she was a gran' han' at the +bakin', Kitty Ogilvy." + +"I've heard say," remarked Jamie, putting it this way so as not to tie +himself down to anything, "'at Bell's scones is equal to Mag Lunan's." + +"So they are," said Sam'l, almost fiercely. + +"I kin she's a neat han' at singein' a hen," said Pete. + +"An' wi't a'," said Davit, "she's a snod, canty bit stocky in her +Sabbath claes." + +"If onything, thick in the waist," suggested Jamie. + +"I dinna see that," said Sam'l. + +"I d'na care for her hair either," continued Jamie, who was very nice +in his tastes; "something mair yallowchy wid be an improvement." + +"A'body kins," growled Sam'l, "'at black hair's the bonniest." + +The others chuckled. + +"Puir Sam'l!" Pete said. + +Sam'l not being certain whether this should be received with a smile or +a frown, opened his mouth wide as a kind of compromise. This was +position one with him for thinking things over. + +Few Auld Lichts, as I have said, went the length of choosing a helpmate +for themselves. One day a young man's friends would see him mending +the washing tub of a maiden's mother. They kept the joke until +Saturday night, and then he learned from them what he had been after. +It dazed him for a time, but in a year or so he grew accustomed to the +idea, and they were then married. With a little help he fell in love +just like other people. + +Sam'l was going the way of the others, but he found it difficult to +come to the point. He only went courting once a week, and he could +never take up the running at the place where he left off the Saturday +before. Thus he had not, so far, made great headway. His method of +making up to Bell had been to drop in at T'nowhead on Saturday nights +and talk with the farmer about the rinderpest. + +The farm kitchen was Bell's testimonial. Its chairs, tables, and +stools were scoured by her to the whiteness of Rob Angus's sawmill +boards, and the muslin blind on the window was starched like a child's +pinafore. Bell was brave, too, as well as energetic. Once Thrums had +been overrun with thieves. It is now thought that there may have been +only one, but he had the wicked cleverness of a gang. Such was his +repute that there were weavers who spoke of locking their doors when +they went from home. He was not very skilful, however, being generally +caught, and when they said they knew he was a robber he gave them their +things back and went away. If they had given him time there is no +doubt that he would have gone off with his plunder. One night he went +to T'nowhead, and Bell, who slept in the kitchen, was wakened by the +noise. She knew who it would be, so she rose and dressed herself, and +went to look for him with a candle. The thief had not known what to do +when he got in, and as it was very lonely he was glad to see Bell. She +told him he ought to be ashamed of himself, and would not let him out +by the door until he had taken off his boots so as not to soil the +carpet. + +On this Saturday evening Sam'l stood his ground in the square, until by +and by he found himself alone. There were other groups there still, +but his circle had melted away. They went separately, and no one said +good-night. Each took himself off slowly, backing out of the group +until he was fairly started. + +Sam'l looked about him, and then, seeing that the others had gone, +walked round the townhouse into the darkness of the brae that leads +down and then up to the farm of T'nowhead. + +To get into the good graces of Lisbeth Fargus you had to know her ways +and humour them. Sam'l, who was a student of women, knew this, and so, +instead of pushing the door open and walking in, he went through the +rather ridiculous ceremony of knocking. Sanders Elshioner was also +aware of this weakness of Lisbeth's, but, though he often made up his +mind to knock, the absurdity of the thing prevented his doing so when +he reached the door. T'nowhead himself had never got used to his +wife's refined notions, and when any one knocked he always started to +his feet, thinking there must be something wrong. + +Lisbeth came to the door, her expansive figure blocking the way in. + +"Sam'l," she said. + +"Lisbeth," said Sam'l. + +He shook hands with the farmer's wife, knowing that she liked it, but +only said, "Ay, Bell," to his sweetheart, "Ay, T'nowhead," to +McQuhatty, and "It's yersel, Sanders," to his rival. + +They were all sitting round the fire, T'nowhead, with his feet on the +ribs, wondering why he felt so warm, and Bell darned a stocking, while +Lisbeth kept an eye on a goblet full of potatoes. + +"Sit into the fire, Sam'l," said the farmer, not, however, making way +for him. + +"Na, na," said Sam'l, "I'm to bide nae time." Then he sat into the +fire. His face was turned away from Bell, and when she spoke he +answered her without looking round. Sam'l felt a little anxious. +Sanders Elshioner, who had one leg shorter than the other, but looked +well when sitting, seemed suspiciously at home. He asked Bell +questions out of his own head, which was beyond Sam'l, and once he said +something to her in such a low voice that the others could not catch +it. T'nowhead asked curiously what it was, and Sanders explained that +he had only said, "Ay, Bell, the morn's the Sabbath." There was +nothing startling in this, but Sam'l did not like it. He began to +wonder if he was too late, and had he seen his opportunity would have +told Bell of a nasty rumour that Sanders intended to go over to the +Free Church if they would make him kirk-officer. + +[Illustration: Sabbath at T'Nowhead. From a photograph by G. W. +Wilson.] + +Sam'l had the good-will of T'nowhead's wife, who liked a polite man. +Sanders did his best, but from want of practice he constantly made +mistakes. To-night, for instance, he wore his hat in the house because +he did not like to put up his hand and take it off. T'nowhead had not +taken his off either, but that was because he meant to go out by and by +and lock the byre door. It was impossible to say which of her lovers +Bell preferred. The proper course with an Auld Licht lassie was to +prefer the man who proposed to her. + +"Ye'll bide a wee, an' hae something to eat?" Lisbeth asked Sam'l, with +her eyes on the goblet. + +"No, I thank ye," said Sam'l, with true genteelity. + +"Ye'll better?" + +"I dinna think it." + +"Hoots aye; what's to hender ye?" + +"Weel, since ye're sae pressin', I'll bide." + +No one asked Sanders to stay. Bell could not, for she was but the +servant, and T'nowhead knew that the kick his wife had given him meant +that he was not to do so either. Sanders whistled to show that he was +not uncomfortable. + +"Ay, then, I'll be stappin' ower the brae," he said at last. + +He did not go, however. There was sufficient pride in him to get him +off his chair, but only slowly, for he had to get accustomed to the +notion of going. At intervals of two or three minutes he remarked that +he must now be going. In the same circumstances Sam'l would have acted +similarly. For a Thrums man it is one of the hardest things in life to +get away from anywhere. + +At last Lisbeth saw that something must be done. The potatoes were +burning, and T'nowhead had an invitation on his tongue. + +"Yes, I'll hae to be movin'," said Sanders, hopelessly, for the fifth +time. + +"Guid nicht to ye, then, Sanders," said Lisbeth. "Gie the door a +fling-to, ahent ye." + +Sanders, with a mighty effort, pulled himself together. He looked +boldly at Bell, and then took off his hat carefully. Sam'l saw with +misgivings that there was something in it which was not a handkerchief. +It was a paper bag glittering with gold braid, and contained such an +assortment of sweets as lads bought for their lasses on the Muckle +Friday. + +"Hae, Bell," said Sanders, handing the bag to Bell in an off-hand way +as if it were but a trifle. Nevertheless he was a little excited, for +he went off without saying good-night. + +No one spoke. Bell's face was crimson. T'nowhead fidgetted on his +chair, and Lisbeth looked at Sam'l. The weaver was strangely calm and +collected, though he would have liked to know whether this was a +proposal. + +"Sit in by to the table, Sam'l," said Lisbeth, trying to look as if +things were as they had been before. + +She put a saucerful of butter, salt, and pepper near the fire to melt, +for melted butter is the shoeing-horn that helps over a meal of +potatoes. Sam'l, however, saw what the hour required, and jumping up, +he seized his bonnet. + +"Hing the tatties higher up the joist, Lisbeth," he said with dignity; +"I'se be back in ten meenits." + +He hurried out of the house, leaving the others looking at each other. + +"What do ye think?" asked Lisbeth. + +"I d'na kin," faltered Bell. + +"Thae tatties is lang o' comin' to the boil," said T'nowhead. + +In some circles a lover who behaved like Sam'l would have been +suspected of intent upon his rival's life, but neither Bell nor Lisbeth +did the weaver that injustice. In a case of this kind it does not much +matter what T'nowhead thought. + +The ten minutes had barely passed when Sam'l was back in the farm +kitchen. He was too flurried to knock this time, and, indeed, Lisbeth +did not expect it of him. + +"Bell, hae!" he cried, handing his sweetheart a tinsel bag twice the +size of Sanders's gift. + +"Losh preserve's!" exclaimed Lisbeth; "I'se warrant there's a shillin's +worth." + +"There's a' that, Lisbeth--an' mair," said Sam'l, firmly. + +"I thank ye, Sam'l," said Bell, feeling an unwonted elation as she +gazed at the two paper bags in her lap. + +"Ye're ower extravegint, Sam'l," Lisbeth said. + +"Not at all," said Sam'l; "not at all. But I widna advise ye to eat +thae ither anes, Bell--they're second quality." + +Bell drew back a step from Sam'l. + +"How do ye kin?" asked the farmer shortly, for he liked Sanders. + +"I spiered i' the shop," said Sam'l. + +The goblet was placed on a broken plate on the table with the saucer +beside it, and Sam'l, like the others, helped himself. What he did was +to take potatoes from the pot with his fingers, peel off their coats, +and then dip them into the butter. Lisbeth would have liked to provide +knives and forks, but she knew that beyond a certain point T'nowhead +was master in his own house. As for Sam'l, he felt victory in his +hands, and began to think that he had gone too far. + +In the meantime Sanders, little witting that Sam'l had trumped his +trick, was sauntering along the kirk-wynd, with his hat on the side of +his head. Fortunately he did not meet the minister. + +The courting of T'nowhead's Bell reached its crisis one Sabbath about a +month after the events above recorded. The minister was in great force +that day, but it is no part of mine to tell how he bore himself. I was +there, and am not likely to forget the scene. It was a fateful Sabbath +for T'nowhead's Bell and her swains, and destined to be remembered for +the painful scandal which they perpetrated in their passion. + +Bell was not in the kirk. There being an infant of six months in the +house it was a question of either Lisbeth or the lassie's staying at +home with him, and though Lisbeth was unselfish in a general way, she +could not resist the delight of going to church. She had nine children +besides the baby, and being but a woman, it was the pride of her life +to march them into the T'nowhead pew, so well watched that they dared +not misbehave, and so tightly packed that they could not fall. The +congregation looked at that pew, the mothers enviously, when they sang +the lines-- + + "Jerusalem like a city is + Compactly built together." + + +The first half of the service had been gone through on this particular +Sunday without anything remarkable happening. It was at the end of the +psalm which preceded the sermon that Sanders Elshioner, who sat near +the door, lowered his head until it was no higher than the pews, and in +that attitude, looking almost like a four-footed animal, slipped out of +the church. In their eagerness to be at the sermon many of the +congregation did not notice him, and those who did put the matter by in +their minds for future investigation. Sam'l, however, could not take +it so coolly. From his seat in the gallery he saw Sanders disappear, +and his mind misgave him. With the true lover's instinct he understood +it all. Sanders had been struck by the fine turn-out in the T'nowhead +pew. Bell was alone at the farm. What an opportunity to work one's +way up to a proposal. T'nowhead was so overrun with children that such +a chance seldom occurred, except on a Sabbath. Sanders, doubtless, was +off to propose, and he, Sam'l, was left behind. + +The suspense was terrible. Sam'l and Sanders had both known all along +that Bell would take the first of the two who asked her. Even those +who thought her proud admitted that she was modest. Bitterly the +weaver repented having waited so long. Now it was too late. In ten +minutes Sanders would be at T'nowhead; in an hour all would be over. +Sam'l rose to his feet in a daze. His mother pulled him down by the +coat-tail, and his father shook him, thinking he was walking in his +sleep. He tottered past them, however, hurried up the aisle, which was +so narrow that Dan'l Ross could only reach his seat by walking +sideways, and was gone before the minister could do more than stop in +the middle of a whirl and gape in horror after him. + +A number of the congregation felt that day the advantage of sitting in +the laft. What was a mystery to those downstairs was revealed to them. +From the gallery windows they had a fine open view to the south; and as +Sam'l took the common, which was a short cut though a steep ascent, to +T'nowhead, he was never out of their line of vision. Sanders was not +to be seen, but they guessed rightly the reason why. Thinking he had +ample time, he had gone round by the main road to save his +boots--perhaps a little scared by what was coming. Sam'l's design was +to forestall him by taking the shorter path over the burn and up the +commonty. + +It was a race for a wife, and several on-lookers in the gallery braved +the minister's displeasure to see who won. Those who favoured Sam'l's +suit exultingly saw him leap the stream, while the friends of Sanders +fixed their eyes on the top of the common where it ran into the road. +Sanders must come into sight there, and the one who reached this point +first would get Bell. + +As Auld Lichts do not walk abroad on the Sabbath, Sanders would +probably not be delayed. The chances were in his favour. Had it been +any other day in the week Sam'l might have run. So some of the +congregation in the gallery were thinking, when suddenly they saw him +bend low and then take to his heels. He had caught sight of Sanders's +head bobbing over the hedge that separated the road from the common, +and feared that Sanders might see him. The congregation who could +crane their necks sufficiently saw a black object, which they guessed +to be the carter's hat, crawling along the hedge-top. For a moment it +was motionless, and then it shot ahead. The rivals had seen each +other. It was now a hot race. Sam'l, dissembling no longer, clattered +up the common, becoming smaller and smaller to the onlookers as he +neared the top. More than one person in the gallery almost rose to +their feet in their excitement. Sam'l had it. No, Sanders was in +front. Then the two figures disappeared from view. They seemed to run +into each other at the top of the brae, and no one could say who was +first. The congregation looked at one another. Some of them +perspired. But the minister held on his course. + +Sam'l had just been in time to cut Sanders out. It was the weaver's +saving that Sanders saw this when his rival turned the corner; for +Sam'l was sadly blown. Sanders took in the situation and gave in at +once. The last hundred yards of the distance he covered at his +leisure, and when he arrived at his destination he did not go in. It +was a fine afternoon for the time of year, and he went round to have a +look at the pig, about which T'nowhead was a little sinfully puffed up. + +"Ay," said Sanders, digging his fingers critically into the grunting +animal; "quite so." + +"Grumph," said the pig, getting reluctantly to his feet. + +"Ou ay; yes," said Sanders, thoughtfully. + +Then he sat down on the edge of the sty, and looked long and silently +at an empty bucket. But whether his thoughts were of T'nowhead's Bell, +whom he had lost for ever, or of the food the farmer fed his pig on, is +not known. + +"Lord preserve's! Are ye no at the kirk?" cried Bell, nearly dropping +the baby as Sam'l broke into the room. + +"Bell!" cried Sam'l. + +Then T'nowhead's Bell knew that her hour had come. + +"Sam'l," she faltered. + +"Will ye hae's Bell?" demanded Sam'l, glaring at her sheepishly. + +"Ay," answered Bell. + +Sam'l fell into a chair. + +"Bring's a drink o' water, Bell," he said. + +But Bell thought the occasion required milk, and there was none in the +kitchen. She went out to the byre, still with the baby in her arms, +and saw Sanders Elshioner sitting gloomily on the pigsty. + +"Weel, Bell," said Sanders. + +"I thocht ye'd been at the kirk, Sanders," said Bell. + +Then there was a silence between them. + +"Has Sam'l spiered ye, Bell?" asked Sanders, stolidly. + +"Ay," said Bell again, and this time there was a tear in her eye. +Sanders was little better than an "orra man," and Sam'l was a weaver, +and yet---- But it was too late now. Sanders gave the pig a vicious +poke with a stick, and when it had ceased to grunt, Bell was back in +the kitchen. She had forgotten about the milk, however, and Sam'l only +got water after all. + +In after days, when the story of Bell's wooing was told, there were +some who held that the circumstances would have almost justified the +lassie in giving Sam'l the go-by. But these perhaps forgot that her +other lover was in the same predicament as the accepted one--that of +the two, indeed, he was the more to blame, for he set off to T'nowhead +on the Sabbath of his own accord, while Sam'l only ran after him. And +then there is no one to say for certain whether Bell heard of her +suitors' delinquencies until Lisbeth's return from the kirk. Sam'l +could never remember whether he told her, and Bell was not sure +whether, if he did, she took it in. Sanders was greatly in demand for +weeks after to tell what he knew of the affair, but though he was twice +asked to tea to the manse among the trees, and subjected thereafter to +ministerial cross-examinations, this is all he told. He remained at +the pigsty until Sam'l left the farm, when he joined him at the top of +the brae, and they went home together. + +"It's yersel, Sanders," said Sam'l. + +"It is so, Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Very cauld," said Sam'l. + +"Blawy," assented Sanders. + +After a pause-- + +"Sam'l," said Sanders. + +"Ay." + +"I'm hearin' yer to be mairit." + +"Ay." + +"Weel, Sam'l, she's a snod bit lassie." + +"Thank ye," said Sam'l. + +"I had ance a kin' o' notion o' Bell mysel," continued Sanders. + +"Ye had?" + +"Yes, Sam'l; but I thocht better o't." + +"Hoo d'ye mean?" asked Sam'l, a little anxiously. + +"Weel, Sam'l, mairitch is a terrible responsibeelity." + +"It is so," said Sam'l, wincing. + +"An' no the thing to tak up withoot conseederation." + +"But it's a blessed and honourable state, Sanders; ye've heard the +minister on't." + +"They say," continued the relentless Sanders, "'at the minister doesna +get on sair wi' the wife himsel." + +"So they do," cried Sam'l, with a sinking at the heart. + +"I've been telt," Sanders went on, "'at gin ye can get the upper han' +o' the wife for a while at first, there's the mair chance o' a +harmonious exeestence." + +"Bell's no the lassie," said Sam'l, appealingly, "to thwart her man." + +Sanders smiled. + +"D' ye think she is, Sanders?" + +"Weel, Sam'l, I d'na want to fluster ye, but she's been ower lang wi' +Lisbeth Fargus no to hae learnt her ways. An a'body kins what a life +T'nowhead has wi' her." + +"Guid sake, Sanders, hoo did ye no speak o' this afore?" + +"I thocht ye kent o't, Sam'l." + +They had now reached the square, and the U. P. kirk was coming out. +The Auld Licht kirk would be half an hour yet. + +"But, Sanders," said Sam'l, brightening up, "ye was on yer way to spier +her yersel." + +"I was, Sam'l," said Sanders, "and I canna but be thankfu ye was ower +quick for's." + +"Gin't hadna been you," said Sam'l, "I wid never hae thocht o't." + +"I'm sayin' naething agin Bell," pursued the other, "but, man Sam'l, a +body should be mair deleeberate in a thing o' the kind." + +"It was michty hurried," said Sam'l, woefully. + +"It's a serious thing to spier a lassie," said Sanders. + +"It's an awfu thing," said Sam'l. + +"But we'll hope for the best," added Sanders, in a hopeless voice. + +They were close to the Tenements now, and Sam'l looked as if he were on +his way to be hanged. + +"Sam'l?" + +"Ay, Sanders." + +"Did ye--did ye kiss her, Sam'l?" + +"Na." + +"Hoo?" + +"There's was varra little time, Sanders." + +"Half an 'oor," said Sanders. + +"Was there? Man Sanders, to tell ye the truth, I never thocht o't." + +Then the soul of Sanders Elshioner was filled with contempt for Sam'l +Dickie. + +The scandal blew over. At first it was expected that the minister +would interfere to prevent the union, but beyond intimating from the +pulpit that the souls of Sabbath-breakers were beyond praying for, and +then praying for Sam'l and Sanders at great length, with a word thrown +in for Bell, he let things take their course. Some said it was because +he was always frightened lest his young men should intermarry with +other denominations, but Sanders explained it differently to Sam'l. + +"I hav'na a word to say agin the minister," he said; "they're gran' +prayers, but Sam'l, he's a mairit man himsel." + +"He's a' the better for that, Sanders, is'na he?" + +"Do ye no see," asked Sanders, compassionately, "'at he's tryin' to mak +the best o't?" + +"Oh, Sanders, man!" said Sam'l. + +"Cheer up, Sam'l," said Sanders, "it'll sune be ower." + +Their having been rival suitors had not interfered with their +friendship. On the contrary, while they had hitherto been mere +acquaintances, they became inseparables as the wedding-day drew near. +It was noticed that they had much to say to each other, and that when +they could not get a room to themselves they wandered about together in +the churchyard. When Sam'l had anything to tell Bell he sent Sanders +to tell it, and Sanders did as he was bid. There was nothing that he +would not have done for Sam'l. + +The more obliging Sanders was, however, the sadder Sam'l grew. He +never laughed now on Saturdays, and sometimes his loom was silent half +the day. Sam'l felt that Sanders's was the kindness of a friend for a +dying man. + +It was to be a penny wedding, and Lisbeth Fargus said it was delicacy +that made Sam'l superintend the fitting-up of the barn by deputy. Once +he came to see it in person, but he looked so ill that Sanders had to +see him home. This was on the Thursday afternoon, and the wedding was +fixed for Friday. + +"Sanders, Sanders," said Sam'l, in a voice strangely unlike his own, +"it'll a' be ower by this time the morn." + +"It will," said Sanders. + +"If I had only kent her langer," continued Sam'l. + +"It wid hae been safer," said Sanders. + +"Did ye see the yallow floor in Bell's bonnet?" asked the accepted +swain. + +"Ay," said Sanders, reluctantly. + +"I'm dootin'--I'm sair dootin' she's but a flichty, licht-hearted +crittur after a'." + +"I had ay my suspeecions o't," said Sanders. + +"Ye hae kent her langer than me," said Sam'l. + +"Yes," said Sanders, "but there's nae gettin' at the heart o' women. +Man, Sam'l, they're desperate cunnin'." + +"I'm dootin't; I'm sair dootin't." + +"It'll be a warnin' to ye, Sam'l, no to be in sic a hurry i' the +futur," said Sanders. + +Sam'l groaned. + +"Ye'll be gaein up to the manse to arrange wi' the minister the morn's +mornin'," continued Sanders in a subdued voice. + +Sam'l looked wistfully at his friend. + +"I canna do't, Sanders," he said, "I canna do't." + +"Ye maun," said Sanders. + +"It's aisy to speak," retorted Sam'l, bitterly. + +"We have a' oor troubles, Sam'l," said Sanders, soothingly, "an' every +man maun bear his ain burdens. Johnny Davie's wife's dead, an' he's no +repinin'." + +"Ay," said Sam'l, "but a death's no a mairitch. We hae haen deaths in +our family too." + +"It may a' be for the best," added Sanders, "an' there wid be a michty +talk i' the hale country-side gin ye didna ging to the minister like a +man." + +"I maun hae langer to think o't," said Sam'l. + +"Bell's mairitch is the morn," said Sanders, decisively. + +Sam'l glanced up with a wild look in his eyes. + +"Sanders," he cried. + +"Sam'l?" + +"Ye hae been a guid friend to me, Sanders, in this sair affliction." + +"Nothing ava," said Sanders; "dount mention'd." + +"But, Sanders, ye canna deny but what your rinnin oot o' the kirk that +awfu' day was at the bottom o'd a'." + +"It was so," said Sanders, bravely. + +"An' ye used to be fond o' Bell, Sanders." + +"I dinna deny't." + +"Sanders, laddie," said Sam'l, bending forward and speaking in a +wheedling voice, "I aye thocht it was you she likeit." + +"I had some sic idea mysel," said Sanders. + +"Sanders, I canna think to pairt twa fowk sae weel suited to ane +anither as you an' Bell." + +"Canna ye, Sam'l?" + +"She wid mak ye a guid wife, Sanders. I hae studied her weel, and +she's a thrifty, douce, clever lassie. Sanders, there's no the like o' +her. Mony a time, Sanders, I hae said to mysel, There's a lass ony man +micht be prood to tak. A'body says the same, Sanders. There's nae +risk ava, man: nane to speak o'. Tak her, laddie, tak her, Sanders; +it's a grand chance, Sanders. She's yours for the spierin. I'll gie +her up, Sanders." + +"Will ye, though?" said Sanders. + +"What d'ye think?" asked Sam'l. + +"If ye wid rayther," said Sanders, politely. + +"There's my han' on't," said Sam'l. "Bless ye, Sanders; ye've been a +true frien' to me." + +Then they shook hands for the first time in their lives; and soon +afterwards Sanders struck up the brae to T'nowhead. + +Next morning Sanders Elshioner, who had been very busy the night +before, put on his Sabbath clothes and strolled up to the manse. + +"But--but where is Sam'l?" asked the minister; "I must see himself." + +"It's a new arrangement," said Sanders. + +"What do you mean, Sanders?" + +"Bell's to marry me," explained Sanders. + +"But--but what does Sam'l say?" + +"He's willin'," said Sanders. + +"And Bell?" + +"She's willin', too. She prefers't." + +"It is unusual," said the minister. + +"It's a' richt," said Sanders. + +"Well, you know best," said the minister. + +"You see the hoose was taen, at ony rate," continued Sanders. "An I'll +juist ging in til't instead o' Sam'l." + +"Quite so." + +"An' I cudna think to disappoint the lassie." + +"Your sentiments do you credit, Sanders," said the minister; "but I +hope you do not enter upon the blessed state of matrimony without full +consideration of its responsibilities. It is a serious business, +marriage." + +"It's a' that," said Sanders, "but I'm willin' to stan' the risk." + +So, as soon as it could be done, Sanders Elshioner took to wife +T'nowhead's Bell, and I remember seeing Sam'l Dickie trying to dance at +the penny wedding. + +Years afterwards it was said in Thrums that Sam'l had treated Bell +badly, but he was never sure about it himself. + +"It was a near thing--a michty near thing," he admitted in the square. + +"They say," some other weaver would remark, "'at it was you Bell liked +best." + +"I d'na kin," Sam'l would reply, "but there's nae doot the lassie was +fell fond o' me. Ou, a mere passin' fancy's ye micht say." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +DAVIT LUNAN'S POLITICAL REMINISCENCES + +When an election-day comes round now, it takes me back to the time of +1832. I would be eight or ten year old at the time. James Strachan +was at the door by five o'clock in the morning in his Sabbath clothes, +by arrangement. We was to go up to the hill to see them building the +bonfire. Moreover, there was word that Mr. Scrimgour was to be there +tossing pennies, just like at a marriage. I was wakened before that by +my mother at the pans and bowls. I have always associated elections +since that time with jelly-making; for just as my mother would fill the +cups and tankers and bowls with jelly to save cans, she was emptying +the pots and pans to make way for the ale and porter. James and me was +to help to carry it home from the square--him in the pitcher and me in +a flagon, because I was silly for my age and not strong in the arms. + +It was a very blowy morning, though the rain kept off, and what part of +the bonfire had been built already was found scattered to the winds. +Before we rose a great mass of folk was getting the barrels and things +together again; but some of them was never recovered, and suspicion +pointed to William Geddes, it being well known that William would not +hesitate to carry off anything if unobserved. More by token Chirsty +Lamby had seen him rolling home a barrowful of firewood early in the +morning, her having risen to hold cold water in her mouth, being down +with the toothache. When we got up to the hill everybody was making +for the quarry, which being more sheltered was now thought to be a +better place for the bonfire. The masons had struck work, it being a +general holiday in the whole country-side. There was a great commotion +of people, all fine dressed and mostly with glengarry bonnets; and me +and James was well acquaint with them, though mostly weavers and the +like and not my father's equal. Mr. Scrimgour was not there himself; +but there was a small active body in his room as tossed the money for +him fair enough; though not so liberally as was expected, being mostly +ha'pence where pennies was looked for. Such was not my father's +opinion, and him and a few others only had a vote. He considered it +was a waste of money giving to them that had no vote and so taking out +of other folks' mouths, but the little man said it kept everybody in +good-humour and made Mr. Scrimgour popular. He was an extraordinary +affable man and very spirity, running about to waste no time in +walking, and gave me a shilling, saying to me to be a truthful boy and +tell my father. He did not give James anything, him being an orphan, +but clapped his head and said he was a fine boy. + +The Captain was to vote for the Bill if he got in, the which he did. +It was the Captain was to give the ale and porter in the square like a +true gentleman. My father gave a kind of laugh when I let him see my +shilling, and said he would keep care of it for me; and sorry I was I +let him get it, me never seeing the face of it again to this day. Me +and James was much annoyed with the women, especially Kitty Davie, +always pushing in when there was tossing, and tearing the very ha'pence +out of our hands: us not caring so much about the money, but humiliated +to see women mixing up in politics. By the time the topmost barrel was +on the bonfire there was a great smell of whisky in the quarry, it +being a confined place. My father had been against the bonfire being +in the quarry, arguing that the wind on the hill would have carried off +the smell of the whisky; but Peter Tosh said they did not want the +smell carried off; it would be agreeable to the masons for weeks to +come. Except among the women there was no fighting nor wrangling at +the quarry but all in fine spirits. + +I misremember now whether it was Mr. Scrimgour or the Captain that took +the fancy to my father's pigs; but it was this day, at any rate, that +the Captain sent him the gamecock. Whichever one it was that fancied +the litter of pigs, nothing would content him but to buy them, which he +did at thirty shillings each, being the best bargain ever my father +made. Nevertheless I'm thinking he was windier of the cock. The +Captain, who was a local man when not with his regiment, had the +grandest collection of fighting-cocks in the county, and sometimes came +into the town to try them against the town cocks. I mind well the +large wicker cage in which they were conveyed from place to place, and +never without the Captain near at hand. My father had a cock that beat +all the other town cocks at the cock fight at our school, which was +superintended by the elder of the kirk to see fair play; but the which +died of its wounds the next day but one. This was a great grief to my +father, it having been challenged to fight the Captain's cock. +Therefore it was very considerate of the Captain to make my father a +present of his bird; father, in compliment to him, changing its name +from the "Deil" to the "Captain." + +During the forenoon, and I think until well on in the day, James and me +was busy with the pitcher and the flagon. The proceedings in the +square, however, was not so well conducted as in the quarry, many of +the folk there assembled showing a mean and grasping spirit. The +Captain had given orders that there was to be no stint of ale and +porter, and neither there was; but much of it lost through hastiness. +Great barrels was hurled into the middle of the square, where the +country wives sat with their eggs and butter on market-day, and was +quickly stove in with an axe or paving-stone or whatever came handy. +Sometimes they would break into the barrel at different points; and +then, when they tilted it up to get the ale out at one hole, it gushed +out at the bottom till the square was flooded. My mother was fair +disgusted when told by me and James of the waste of good liquor. It is +gospel truth I speak when I say I mind well of seeing Singer Davie +catching the porter in a pan as it ran down the sire, and, when the pan +was full to overflowing, putting his mouth to the stream and drinking +till he was as full as the pan. Most of the men, however, stuck to the +barrels, the drink running in the street being ale and porter mixed, +and left it to the women and the young folk to do the carrying. Susy +M'Queen brought as many pans as she could collect on a barrow, and was +filling them all with porter, rejecting the ale; but indignation was +aroused against her, and as fast as she filled, the others emptied. + +My father scorned to go to the square to drink ale and porter with the +crowd, having the election on his mind and him to vote. Nevertheless +he instructed me and James to keep up a brisk trade with the pans, and +run back across the gardens in case we met dishonest folk in the +streets who might drink the ale. Also, said my father, we was to let +the excesses of our neighbours be a warning in sobriety to us; enough +being as good as a feast, except when you can store it up for the +winter. By and by my mother thought it was not safe me being in the +streets with so many wild men about, and would have sent James himself, +him being an orphan and hardier; but this I did not like, but, running +out, did not come back for long enough. There is no doubt that the +music was to blame for firing the men's blood, and the result most +disgraceful fighting with no object in view. There was three fiddlers +and two at the flute, most of them blind, but not the less dangerous on +that account; and they kept the town in a ferment, even playing the +countryfolk home to the farms, followed by bands of townsfolk. They +were a quarrelsome set, the ploughmen and others; and it was generally +admitted in the town that their overbearing behaviour was responsible +for the fights. I mind them being driven out of the square, stones +flying thick; also some stand-up fights with sticks, and others fair +enough with fists. The worst fight I did not see. It took place in a +field. At first it was only between two who had been miscalling one +another; but there was many looking on, and when the town man was like +getting the worst of it the others set to, and a most heathenish fray +with no sense in it ensued. One man had his arm broken. I mind Hobart +the bellman going about ringing his bell and telling all persons to get +within doors; but little attention was paid to him, it being notorious +that Snecky had had a fight earlier in the day himself. + +When James was fighting in the field, according to his own account, I +had the honour of dining with the electors who voted for the Captain, +him paying all expenses. It was a lucky accident my mother sending me +to the town-house, where the dinner came off, to try to get my father +home at a decent hour, me having a remarkable power over him when in +liquor but at no other time. They were very jolly, however, and +insisted on my drinking the Captain's health and eating more than was +safe. My father got it next day from my mother for this; and so would +I myself, but it was several days before I left my bed, completely +knocked up as I was with the excitement and one thing or another. The +bonfire, which was built to celebrate the election of Mr. Scrimgour, +was set ablaze, though I did not see it, in honour of the election of +the Captain; it being thought a pity to lose it, as no doubt it would +have been. That is about all I remember of the celebrated election of +'32 when the Reform Bill was passed. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +A VERY OLD FAMILY + +They were a very old family with whom Snecky Hobart, the bellman, +lodged. Their favourite dissipation, when their looms had come to +rest, was a dander through the kirkyard. They dressed for it: the +three young ones in their rusty black; the patriarch in his old blue +coat, velvet knee-breeches, and broad blue bonnet; and often of an +evening I have met them moving from grave to grave. By this time the +old man was nearly ninety, and the young ones averaged sixty. They +read out the inscriptions on the tombstones in a solemn drone, and +their father added his reminiscences. He never failed them. Since the +beginning of the century he had not missed a funeral, and his children +felt that he was a great example. Sire and sons returned from the +cemetery invigorated for their dally labours. If one of them happened +to start a dozen yards behind the others, he never thought of making up +the distance. If his foot struck against a stone, he came to a +dead-stop; when he discovered that he had stopped, he set off again. + +A high wall shut off this old family's house and garden from the +clatter of Thrums, a wall that gave Snecky some trouble before he went +to live within it. I speak from personal knowledge. One spring +morning, before the schoolhouse was built, I was assisting the +patriarch to divest the gaunt garden pump of its winter suit of straw. +I was taking a drink, I remember, my palm over the mouth of the wooden +spout and my mouth at the gimlet hole above, when a leg appeared above +the corner of the wall against which the henhouse was built. Two hands +followed, clutching desperately at the uneven stones. Then the leg +worked as if it were turning a grind-stone, and next moment Snecky was +sitting breathlessly on the dyke. From this to the henhouse, whose +roof was of "divets," the descent was comparatively easy, and a +slanting board allowed the daring bellman to slide thence to the +ground. He had come on business, and having talked it over slowly with +the old man he turned to depart. Though he was a genteel man, I heard +him sigh heavily as, with the remark, "Ay, weel, I'll be movin' again," +he began to rescale the wall. The patriarch, twisted round the pump, +made no reply, so I ventured to suggest to the bellman that he might +find the gate easier. "Is there a gate?" said Snecky, in surprise at +the resources of civilization. I pointed it out to him, and he went +his way chuckling. The old man told me that he had sometimes wondered +at Snecky's mode of approach, but it had not struck him to say +anything. Afterwards, when the bellman took up his abode there, they +discussed the matter heavily. + +Hobart inherited both his bell and his nickname from his father, who +was not a native of Thrums. He came from some distant part where the +people speak of snecking the door, meaning shut it. In Thrums the word +used is steek, and sneck seemed to the inhabitants so droll and +ridiculous that Hobart got the name of Snecky. His son left Thrums at +the age of ten for the distant farm of Tirl, and did not return until +the old bellman's death, twenty years afterwards; but the first remark +he overheard on entering the kirkwynd was a conjecture flung across the +street by a grey-haired crone, that he would be "little Snecky come to +bury auld Snecky." + +The father had a reputation in his day for "crying" crimes he was +suspected of having committed himself, but the Snecky I knew had too +high a sense of his own importance for that. On great occasions, such +as the loss of little Davy Dundas, or when a tattie roup had to be +cried, he was even offensively inflated; but ordinary announcements, +such as the approach of a flying stationer, the roup of a deceased +weaver's loom, or the arrival in Thrums of a cart-load of fine "kebec" +cheeses, he treated as the merest trifles. I see still the bent legs +of the snuffy old man straightening to the tinkle of his bell, and the +smirk with which he let the curious populace gather round him. In one +hand he ostentatiously displayed the paper on which what he had to cry +was written, but, like the minister, he scorned to "read." With the +bell carefully tucked under his oxter he gave forth his news in a +rasping voice that broke now and again into a squeal. Though Scotch in +his unofficial conversation, he was believed to deliver himself on +public occasions in the finest English. When trotting from place to +place with his news he carried his bell by the tongue as cautiously as +if it were a flagon of milk. + +Snecky never allowed himself to degenerate into a mere machine. His +proclamations were provided by those who employed him, but his soul was +his own. Having cried a potato roup he would sometimes add a word of +warning, such as, "I wudna advise ye, lads, to hae onything to do wi' +thae tatties; they're diseased." Once, just before the cattle market, +he was sent round by a local laird to announce that any drover found +taking the short cut to the hill through the grounds of Muckle Plowy +would be prosecuted to the utmost limits of the law. The people were +aghast. "Hoots, lads," Snecky said; "dinna fash yoursels. It's juist +a haver o' the grieve's." One of Hobart's ways of striking terror into +evil-doers was to announce, when crying a crime, that he himself knew +perfectly well who the culprit was. "I see him brawly," he would say, +"standing afore me, an' if he disna instantly mak retribution, I am +determined this very day to mak a public example of him." + +Before the time of the Burke and Hare murders Snecky's father was sent +round Thrums to proclaim the startling news that a grave in the +kirkyard had been tampered with. The "resurrectionist" scare was at +its height then, and the patriarch, who was one of the men in Thrums +paid to watch new graves in the night-time, has often told the story. +The town was in a ferment as the news spread, and there were fierce +suspicious men among Hobart's hearers who already had the rifler of +graves in their eye. + +He was a man who worked for the farmers when they required an extra +hand, and loafed about the square when they could do without him. No +one had a good word for him, and lately he had been flush of money. +That was sufficient. There was a rush of angry men through the "pend" +that led to his habitation, and he was dragged, panting and terrified, +to the kirkyard before he understood what it all meant. To the grave +they hurried him, and almost without a word handed him a spade. The +whole town gathered round the spot--a sullen crowd, the women only +breaking the silence with their sobs, and te children clinging to their +gowns. The suspected resurrectionist understood what was wanted of +him, and, flinging off his jacket, began to reopen the grave. +Presently the spade struck upon wood, and by and by part of the coffin +came in view. That was nothing, for the resurrectionists had a way of +breaking the coffin at one end and drawing out the body with tongs. +The digger knew this. He broke the boards with the spade and revealed +an arm. The people convinced, he dropped the arm savagely, leapt out +of the grave and went his way, leaving them to shovel back the earth +themselves. There was humour in the old family as well as in their +lodger. I found this out slowly. They used to gather round their peat +fire in the evening, after the poultry had gone to sleep on the kitchen +rafters, and take off their neighbours. None of them ever laughed; but +their neighbours did afford them subject for gossip, and the old man +was very sarcastic over other people's old-fashioned ways. When one of +the family wanted to go out he did it gradually. He would be sitting +"into the fire" browning his corduroy trousers, and he would get up +slowly. Then he gazed solemnly before him for a time, and after that, +if you watched him narrowly, you would see that he was really moving to +the door. Another member of the family took the vacant seat with the +same precautions. Will'um, the eldest, has a gun, which customarily +stands behind the old eight-day clock; and he takes it with him to the +garden to shoot the blackbirds. Long before Will'um is ready to let +fly, the blackbirds have gone away; and so the gun is never, never +fired: but there is a determined look on Will'um's face when he returns +from the garden. + +In the stormy days of his youth the old man had been a "Black Nib." +The Black Nibs were the persons who agitated against the French war; +and the public feeling against them ran strong and deep. In Thrums the +local Black Nibs were burned in effigy, and whenever they put their +heads out of doors they risked being stoned. Even where the +authorities were unprejudiced they were helpless to interfere; and as a +rule they were as bitter against the Black Nibs as the populace +themselves. Once the patriarch was running through the street with a +score of the enemy at his heels, and the bailie, opening his window, +shouted to them, "Stane the Black Nib oot o' the toon!" + +When the patriarch was a young man he was a follower of pleasure. This +is the one thing about him that his family have never been able to +understand. A solemn stroll through the kirkyard was not sufficient +relaxation in those riotous times, after a hard day at the loom; and he +rarely lost a chance of going to see a man hanged. There was a good +deal of hanging in those days; and yet the authorities had an ugly way +of reprieving condemned men on whom the sightseers had been counting. +An air of gloom would gather on my old friend's countenance when he +told how he and his contemporaries in Thrums trudged every Saturday for +six weeks to the county town, many miles distant, to witness the +execution of some criminal in whom they had a local interest, and who, +after disappointing them again and again, was said to have been bought +off by a friend. His crime had been stolen entrance into a house in +Thrums by the chimney, with intent to rob; and, though this +old-fashioned family did not see it, not the least noticeable incident +in the scrimmage that followed was the prudence of the canny housewife. +When she saw the legs coming down the lum, she rushed to the kail-pot +which was on the fire and put on the lid. She confessed that this was +not done to prevent the visitor's scalding himself, but to save the +broth. + +The old man was repeated in his three sons. They told his stories +precisely as he did himself, taking as long in the telling, and making +the points in exactly the same way. By and by they will come to think +that they themselves were of those past times. Already the young ones +look like contemporaries of their father. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +LITTLE RATHIE'S "BURAL" + +Devout-under-difficulties would have been the name of Lang Tammas had +he been of Covenanting times. So I thought one wintry afternoon, years +before I went to the schoolhouse, when he dropped in to ask the +pleasure of my company to the farmer of Little Rathie's "bural." As a +good Auld Licht, Tammas reserved his swallow-tail coat and "lum hat" +(chimney pot) for the kirk and funerals; but the coat would have +flapped villainously, to Tammas's eternal ignominy, had he for one rash +moment relaxed his hold on the bottom button, and it was only by +walking sideways, as horses sometimes try to do, that the hat could be +kept at the angle of decorum. Let it not be thought that Tammas had +asked me to Little Rathie's funeral on his own responsibility. Burals +were among the few events to break the monotony of an Auld Licht +winter, and invitations were as much sought after as cards to my lady's +dances in the south. This had been a fair average season for Tammas, +though of his four burials one had been a bairn's--a mere bagatelle; +but had it not been for the death of Little Rathie I would probably not +have been out that year at all. + +The small farm of Little Rathie lies two miles from Thrums, and Tammas +and I trudged manfully through the snow, adding to our numbers as we +went. The dress of none differed materially from the precentor's, and +the general effect was of septuagenarians in each other's best clothes, +though living in low-roofed houses had bent most of them before their +time. By a rearrangement of garments, such as making Tammas change +coat, hat, and trousers with Cragiebuckle, Silva McQueen, and Sam'l +Wilkie respectively, a dexterous tailor might perhaps have supplied +each with a "fit." The talk was chiefly of Little Rathie, and +sometimes threatened to become animated, when another mourner would +fall in and restore the more fitting gloom. + +"Ay, ay," the new comer would say, by way of responding to the sober +salutation, "Ay, Johnny." Then there was silence, but for the "gluck" +with which we lifted our feet from the slush. + +"So Little Rathie's been ta'en awa'," Johnny would venture to say, by +and by. + +"He's gone, Johnny; ay, man, he is so." + +"Death must come to all," some one would waken up to murmur. + +"Ay," Lang Tammas would reply, putting on the coping-stone, "in the +morning we are strong, and in the evening we are cut down." + +"We are so, Tammas; ou ay, we are so; we're here the wan day an' gone +the neist." + +"Little Rathie wasna a crittur I took till; no, I canna say he was," +said Bowie Haggart, so called because his legs described a parabola, +"but he maks a very creeditable corp (corpse). I will say that for +him. It's wonderfu' hoo death improves a body. Ye cudna hae said as +Little Rathie was a weelfaured man when he was i' the flesh." + +Bowie was the wright, and attended burials in his official capacity. +He had the gift of words to an uncommon degree, and I do not forget his +crushing blow at the reputation of the poet Burns, as delivered under +the auspices of the Thrums Literary Society. "I am of opeenion," said +Bowie, "that the works of Burns is of an immoral tendency. I have not +read them myself, but such is my opeenion." + +"He was a queer stock, Little Rathie, michty queer," said Tammas +Haggart, Bowie's brother, who was a queer stock himself, but was not +aware of it; "but, ou, I'm thinkin' the wife had something to do wi't. +She was ill to manage, an' Little Rathie hadna the way o' the women. +He hadna the knack o' managin' them 's ye micht say--no, Little Rathie +hadna the knack." + +"They're kittle cattle, the women," said the farmer of +Craigiebuckle--son of the Craigiebuckle mentioned elsewhere--a little +gloomily. "I've often thocht maiterimony is no onlike the lucky bags +th' auld wines has at the muckly. There's prizes an' blanks baith +inside, but, losh, ye're far frae sure what ye'll draw oot when ye put +in yer han'." + +"Ou, weel," said Tammas, complacently, "there's truth in what ye say, +but the women can be managed if we have the knack." + +"Some o' them," said Cragiebuckle, woefully. + +"Ye had yer wark wi' the wife yersel, Tammas, so ye had," observed Lang +Tammas, unbending to suit his company. + +"Ye're speakin' aboot the bit wife's bural," said Tammas Haggart, with +a chuckle, "ay, ay, that brocht her to reason." + +Without much pressure Haggart retold a story known to the majority of +his hearers. He had not the "knack" of managing women apparently when +he married, for he and his gipsy wife "agreed ill thegither" at first. +Once Chirsty left him and took up her abode in a house just across the +wynd. Instead of routing her out, Tammas, without taking any one into +his confidence, determined to treat Chirsty as dead, and celebrate her +decease in a "lyke wake"--a last wake. These wakes were very general +in Thrums in the old days, though they had ceased to be common by the +date of Little Rathie's death. For three days before the burial the +friends and neighbours of the mourners were invited into the house to +partake of food and drink by the side of the corpse. The dead lay on +chairs covered with a white sheet. Dirges were sung, and the deceased +was extolled, but when night came the lights were extinguished, and the +corpse was left alone. On the morning of the funeral tables were +spread with a white cloth outside the house, and food and drink were +placed upon them. No neighbour could pass the tables without paying +his respects to the dead; and even when the house was in a busy, narrow +thoroughfare, this part of the ceremony was never omitted. Tammas did +not give Chirsty a wake inside the house; but one Friday morning--it +was market-day, and the square was consequently full--it went through +the town that the tables were spread before his door. Young and old +collected, wandering round the house, and Tammas stood at the tables in +his blacks inviting every one to eat and drink. He was pressed to tell +what it meant; but nothing could be got from him except that his wife +was dead. At times he pressed his hands to his heart, and then he +would make wry faces, trying hard to cry. Chirsty watched from a +window across the street, until she perhaps began to fear that she +really was dead. Unable to stand it any longer, she rushed out into +her husband's arms, and shortly afterwards she could have been seen +dismantling the tables. + +"She's gone this fower year," Tammas said, when he had finished his +story, "but up to the end I had no more trouble wi' Chirsty. No, I had +the knack o' her." + +"I've heard tell, though," said the sceptical Craigiebuckle, "as +Chirsty only cam back to ye because she cudna bear to see the fowk +makkin' sae free wi' the whisky." + +"I mind hoo she bottled it up at ance, and drove the laddies awa'," +said Bowie, "an' I hae seen her after that, Tammas, giein' ye up yer +fut an' you no sayin' a word." + +"Ou, ay," said the wife-tamer, in the tone of a man who could afford to +be generous in trifles, "women maun talk, an' a man hasna aye time to +conterdick them, but frae that day I had the knack o' Chirsty." + +"Donal Elshioner's was a very seemilar case," broke in Snecky Hobart, +shrilly. "Maist o' ye'll mind 'at Donal was michty plague't wi' a +drucken wife. Ay, weel, wan day Bowie's man was carryin' a coffin past +Donal's door, and Donal an' the wife was there. Says Donal, 'Put doon +yer coffin, my man, an' tell's wha it's for.' The laddie rests the +coffin on its end, an' says he, 'It's for Davie Fairbrother's +guid-wife.' 'Ay, then,' says Donal, 'tak it awa', tak it awa' to +Davie, an' tell 'im as ye kin a man wi' a wife 'at wid be glad to +neifer (exchange) wi' him.' Man, that terrified Donal's wife; it did +so." + +As we delved up the twisting road between two fields, that leads to the +farm of Little Rathie, the talk became less general, and another +mourner who joined us there was told that the farmer was gone. + +"We must all fade as a leaf," said Lang Tammas. + +"So we maun, so we maun," admitted the newcomer. "They say," he added, +solemnly, "as Little Rathie has left a full teapot." + +The reference was to the safe in which the old people in the district +stored their gains. + +"He was thrifty," said Tammas Haggart, "an' shrewd, too, was Little +Rathie. I mind Mr. Dishart admonishin' him for no attendin' a special +weather service i' the kirk, when Finny an' Lintool, the twa adjoinin' +farmers, baith attendit. 'Ou,' says Little Rathie, 'I thocht to mysel, +thinks I, if they get rain for prayin' for't on Finny an' Lintool, +we're bound to get the benefit o't on Little Rathie.'" + +"Tod," said Snecky, "there's some sense in that; an' what says the +minister?" + +"I d'na kin what he said," admitted Haggart; "but he took Little Rathie +up to the manse, an' if ever I saw a man lookin' sma', it was Little +Rathie when he cam oot." + +The deceased had left behind him a daughter (herself now known as +Little Rathie), quite capable of attending to the ramshackle "but and +ben"; and I remember how she nipped off Tammas's consolations to go out +and feed the hens. To the number of about twenty we assembled round +the end of the house to escape the bitter wind, and here I lost the +precentor, who, as an Auld Licht elder, joined the chief mourners +inside. The post of distinction at a funeral is near the coffin; but +it is not given to every one to be a relative of the deceased, and +there is always much competition and genteelly concealed disappointment +over the few open vacancies. The window of the room was decently +veiled, but the mourners outside knew what was happening within, and +that it was not all prayer, neither mourning. A few of the more +reverent uncovered their heads at intervals; but it would be idle to +deny that there was a feeling that Little Rathie's daughter was +favouring Tammas and others somewhat invidiously. Indeed, Robbie +Gibruth did not scruple to remark that she had made "an inauspeecious +beginning." Tammas Haggart, who was melancholy when not sarcastic, +though he brightened up wonderfully at funerals, reminded Robbie that +disappointment is the lot of man on his earthly pilgrimage; but Haggart +knew who were to be invited back after the burial to the farm, and was +inclined to make much of his position. The secret would doubtless have +been wormed from him had not public attention been directed into +another channel. A prayer was certainly being offered up inside; but +the voice was not the voice of the minister. + +Lang Tammas told me afterwards that it had seemed at one time "very +questionable" whether Little Rathie would be buried that day at all. +The incomprehensible absence of Mr. Dishart (afterwards satisfactorily +explained) had raised the unexpected question of the legality of a +burial in a case where the minister had not prayed over the "corp." +There had even been an indulgence in hot words, and the Reverend +Alexander Kewans, a "stickit minister," but not of the Auld Licht +persuasion, had withdrawn in dudgeon on hearing Tammas asked to conduct +the ceremony instead of himself. But, great as Tammas was on religious +questions, a pillar of the Auld Licht kirk, the Shorter Catechism at +his finger-ends, a sad want of words at the very time when he needed +them most, incapacitated him for prayer in public, and it was +providential that Bowie proved himself a man of parts. But Tammas +tells me that the wright grossly abused his position, by praying at +such length that Craigiebuckle fell asleep, and the mistress had to +rise and hang the pot on the fire higher up the joist, lest its +contents should burn before the return from the funeral. Loury grew +the sky, and more and more anxious the face of Little Rathie's +daughter, and still Bowie prayed on. Had it not been for the +impatience of the precentor and the grumbling of the mourners outside, +there is no saying when the remains would have been lifted through the +"bole," or little window. + +Hearses had hardly come in at this time and the coffin was carried by +the mourners on long stakes. The straggling procession of pedestrians +behind wound its slow way in the waning light to the kirkyard, showing +startlingly black against the dazzling snow; and it was not until the +earth rattled on the coffin-lid that Little Rathie's nearest male +relative seemed to remember his last mournful duty to the dead. +Sidling up to the favoured mourners, he remarked casually and in the +most emotionless tone he could assume: "They're expec'in ye to stap +doon the length o' Little Rathie noo. Aye, aye, he's gone. Na, na, +nae refoosal, Da-avit; ye was aye a guid friend till him, an' it's +onything a body can do for him noo." + +Though the uninvited slunk away sorrowfully, the entertainment provided +at Auld Licht houses of mourning was characteristic of a stern and +sober sect. They got to eat and to drink to the extent, as a rule, of +a "lippy" of shortbread and a "brew" of toddy; but open Bibles lay on +the table, and the eyes of each were on his neighbours to catch them +transgressing, and offer up a prayer for them on the spot. Ay me! +there is no Bowie nowadays to fill an absent minister's shoes. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +A LITERARY CLUB + +The ministers in the town did not hold with literature. When the most +notorious of the clubs met in the town-house under the presidentship of +Gavin Ogilvy, who was no better than a poacher, and was troubled in his +mind because writers called Pope a poet, there was frequently a wrangle +over the question, Is literature necessarily immoral? It was a +fighting club, and on Friday nights the few respectable, god-fearing +members dandered to the town-house, as if merely curious to have +another look at the building. If Lang Tammas, who was dead against +letters, was in sight they wandered off, but when there were no spies +abroad they slunk up the stair. The attendance was greatest on dark +nights, though Gavin himself and some other characters would have +marched straight to the meeting in broad daylight. Tammas Haggart, who +did not think much of Milton's devil, had married a gypsy woman for an +experiment, and the Coat of Many Colours did not know where his wife +was. As a rule, however, the members were wild bachelors. When they +married they had to settle down. + +Gavin's essay on Will'um Pitt, the Father of the Taxes, led to the +club's being bundled out of the town-house, where people said it should +never have been allowed to meet. There was a terrible town when Tammas +Haggart then disclosed the secret of Mr. Byars's supposed approval of +the club. Mr. Byars was the Auld Licht minister whom Mr. Dishart +succeeded, and it was well known that he had advised the authorities to +grant the use of the little town-house to the club on Friday evenings. +As he solemnly warned his congregation against attending the meetings +the position he had taken up created talk, and Lang Tammas called at +the manse with Sanders Whamond to remonstrate. The minister, however, +harangued them on their sinfulness in daring to question the like of +him, and they had to retire vanquished though dissatisfied. Then came +the disclosures of Tammas Haggart, who was never properly secured by +the Auld Lichts until Mr. Dishart took him in hand. It was Tammas who +wrote anonymous letters to Mr. Byars about the scarlet woman, and, +strange to say, this led to the club's being allowed to meet in the +town-house. The minister, after many days, discovered who his +correspondent was, and succeeded in inveigling the stone-breaker to the +manse. There, with the door snibbed, he opened out on Tammas, who, +after his usual manner when hard pressed, pretended to be deaf. This +sudden fit of deafness so exasperated the minister that he flung a book +at Tammas. The scene that followed was one that few Auld Licht manses +can have witnessed. According to Tammas the book had hardly reached +the floor when the minister turned white. Tammas picked up the +missile. It was a Bible. The two men looked at each other. Beneath +the window Mr. Byars's children were prattling. His wife was moving +about in the next room, little thinking what had happened. The +minister held out his hand for the Bible, but Tammas shook his head, +and then Mr. Byars shrank into a chair. Finally, it was arranged that +if Tammas kept the affair to himself the minister would say a good word +to the Bailie about the literary club. After that the stone-breaker +used to go from house to house, twisting his mouth to the side and +remarking that he could tell such a tale of Mr. Byars as would lead to +a split in the kirk. When the town-house was locked on the club Tammas +spoke out, but though the scandal ran from door to door, as I have seen +a pig in a fluster do, the minister did not lose his place. Tammas +preserved the Bible, and showed it complacently to visitors as the +present he got from Mr. Byars. The minister knew this, and it turned +his temper sour. Tammas's proud moments, after that, were when he +passed the minister. + +Driven from the town-house, literature found a table with forms round +it in a tavern hard by, where the club, lopped of its most respectable +members, kept the blinds down and talked openly of Shakspeare. It was +a low-roofed room, with pieces of lime hanging from the ceiling and +peeling walls. The floor had a slope that tended to fling the debater +forward, and its boards, lying loose on an uneven foundation, rose and +looked at you as you crossed the room. In winter, when the meetings +were held regularly every fortnight, a fire of peat, sod, and dross lit +up the curious company who sat round the table shaking their heads over +Shelley's mysticism, or requiring to be called to order because they +would not wait their turn to deny an essayist's assertion that +Berkeley's style was superior to David Hume's. Davit Hume, they said, +and Watty Scott. Burns was simply referred to as Rob or Robbie. + +There was little drinking at these meetings, for the members knew what +they were talking about, and your mind had to gallop to keep up with +the flow of reasoning. Thrums is rather a remarkable town. There are +scores and scores of houses in it that have sent their sons to college +(by what a struggle!), some to make their way to the front in their +professions, and others, perhaps, despite their broadcloth, never to be +a patch on their parents. In that literary club there were men of a +reading so wide and catholic that it might put some graduates of the +universities to shame, and of an intellect so keen that had it not had +a crook in it their fame would have crossed the county. Most of them +had but a thread-bare existence, for you weave slowly with a Wordsworth +open before you, and some were strange Bohemians (which does not do in +Thrums), yet others wandered into the world and compelled it to +recognize them. There is a London barrister whose father belonged to +the club. Not many years ago a man died on the staff of the _Times_, +who, when he was a weaver near Thrums, was one of the club's prominent +members. He taught himself shorthand by the light of a cruizey, and +got a post on a Perth paper, afterwards on the _Scotsman_ and the +_Witness_, and finally on the _Times_. Several other men of his type +had a history worth reading, but it is not for me to write. Yet I may +say that there is still at least one of the original members of the +club left behind in Thrums to whom some of the literary dandies might +lift their hats. + +Gavin Ogilvy I only knew as a weaver and a poacher; a lank, long-armed +man, much bent from crouching in ditches whence he watched his snares. +To the young he was a romantic figure, because they saw him frequently +in the fields with his call-birds tempting siskins, yellow yites, and +linties to twigs which he had previously smeared with lime. He made +the lime from the tough roots of holly; sometimes from linseed oil, +which is boiled until thick, when it is taken out of the pot and drawn +and stretched with the hands like elastic. Gavin was also a famous +hare-snarer at a time when the ploughman looked upon this form of +poaching as his perquisite. The snare was of wire, so constructed that +the hare entangled itself the more when trying to escape, and it was +placed across the little roads through the fields to which hares +confine themselves, with a heavy stone attached to it by a string. +Once Gavin caught a toad (fox) instead of a hare, and did not discover +his mistake until it had him by the teeth. He was not able to weave +for two months. The grouse-netting was more lucrative and more +exciting, and women engaged in it with their husbands. It is told of +Gavin that he was on one occasion chased by a gamekeeper over moor and +hill for twenty miles, and that by and by when the one sank down +exhausted so did the other. They would sit fifty yards apart, glaring +at each other. The poacher eventually escaped. This, curious as it +may seem, is the man whose eloquence at the club has not been forgotten +in fifty years. "Thus did he stand," I have been told recently, +"exclaiming in language sublime that the soul shall bloom in immortal +youth through the ruin and wrack of time." + +Another member read to the club an account of his journey to Lochnagar, +which was afterwards published in _Chambers's Journal_. He was +celebrated for his descriptions of scenery, and was not the only member +of the club whose essays got into print. More memorable perhaps was an +itinerant match-seller known to Thrums and the surrounding towns as the +literary spunk-seller. He was a wizened, shivering old man, often +bare-footed, wearing at the best a thin ragged coat that had been black +but was green-brown with age, and he made his spunks as well as sold +them. He brought Bacon and Adam Smith into Thrums, and he loved to +recite long screeds from Spenser, with a running commentary on the +versification and the luxuriance of the diction. Of Jamie's death I do +not care to write. He went without many a dinner in order to buy a +book. + +The Coat of Many Colours and Silva Robbie were two street preachers who +gave the Thrums ministers some work. They occasionally appeared at the +club. The Coat of Many Colours was so called because he wore a garment +consisting of patches of cloth of various colours sewed together. It +hung down to his heels. He may have been cracked rather than inspired, +but he was a power in the square where he preached, the women declaring +that he was gifted by God. An awe filled even the men, when he +admonished them for using strong language, for at such a time he would +remind them of the woe which fell upon Tibbie Mason. Tibbie had been +notorious in her day for evil-speaking, especially for her free use of +the word handless, which she flung a hundred times in a week at her +man, and even at her old mother. Her punishment was to have a son born +without hands. The Coat of Many Colours also told of the liar who +exclaimed, "If this is not gospel true may I stand here for ever," and +who is standing on that spot still, only nobody knows where it is. +George Wishart was the Coat's hero, and often he has told in the Square +how Wishart saved Dundee. It was the time when the plague lay over +Scotland, and in Dundee they saw it approaching from the West in the +form of a great black cloud. They fell on their knees and prayed, +crying to the cloud to pass them by, and while they prayed it came +nearer. Then they looked around for the most holy man among them, to +intervene with God on their behalf. All eyes turned to George Wishart, +and he stood up, stretching his arms to the cloud and prayed, and it +rolled back. Thus Dundee was saved from the plague, but when Wishart +ended his prayer he was alone, for the people had all returned to their +homes. Less of a genuine man than the Coat of Many Colours was Silva +Robbie, who had horrid fits of laughing in the middle of his prayers, +and even fell in a paroxysm of laughter from the chair on which he +stood. In the club he said things not to be borne, though logical up +to a certain point. + +Tammas Haggart was the most sarcastic member of the club, being +celebrated for his sarcasm far and wide. It was a remarkable thing +about him, often spoken of, that if you went to Tammas with a stranger +and asked him to say a sarcastic thing that the man might take away as +a specimen, he could not do it. "Na, na," Tammas would say, after a +few trials, referring to sarcasm, "she's no a critter to force. Ye +maun lat her tak her ain time. Sometimes she's dry like the pump, an' +syne, again, oot she comes in a gush." The most sarcastic thing the +stone-breaker ever said was frequently marvelled over in Thrums, both +before and behind his face, but unfortunately no one could ever +remember what it was. The subject, however, was Cha Tamson's potato +pit. There is little doubt that it was a fit of sarcasm that induced +Tammas to marry a gypsy lassie. Mr. Byars would not join them, so +Tammas had himself married by Jimmy Pawse, the gay little gypsy king, +and after that the minister re-married them. The marriage over the +tongs is a thing to scandalise any well-brought-up person, for before +he joined the couple's hands, Jimmy jumped about in a startling way, +uttering wild gibberish, and after the ceremony was over there was +rough work, with incantations and blowing on pipes. Tammas always held +that this marriage turned out better than he had expected, though he +had his trials like other married men. Among them was Chirsty's way of +climbing on to the dresser to get at the higher part of the plate-rack. +One evening I called in to have a smoke with the stone-breaker, and +while we were talking Chirsty climbed the dresser. The next moment she +was on the floor on her back, wailing, but Tammas smoked on +imperturbably. "Do you not see what has happened, man?" I cried. +"Ou," said Tammas, "she's aye fa'in aff the dresser." + +Of the schoolmasters who were at times members of the club, Mr. Dickie +was the ripest scholar, but my predecessor at the school-house had a +way of sneering at him that was as good as sarcasm. When they were on +their legs at the same time, asking each other passionately to be calm, +and rolling out lines from Homer, that made the inn-keeper look +fearfully to the fastenings of the door, their heads very nearly came +together although the table was between them. The old dominie had an +advantage in being the shorter man, for he could hammer on the table as +he spoke, while gaunt Mr. Dickie had to stoop to it. Mr. McRittie's +arguments were a series of nails that he knocked into the table, and he +did it in a workmanlike manner. Mr. Dickie, though he kept firm on his +feet, swayed his body until by and by his head was rotating in a large +circle. The mathematical figure he made was a cone revolving on its +apex. Gavin's reinstalment in the chair year after year was made by +the disappointed dominie the subject of some tart verses which he +called an epode, but Gavin crushed him when they were read before the +club. "Satire," he said, "is a legitimate weapon, used with michty +effect by Swift, Sammy Butler, and others, and I dount object to being +made the subject of creeticism. It has often been called a t'nife +(knife), but them as is not used to t'nives cuts their hands, and ye'll +a' observe that Mr. McRittie's fingers is bleedin'." All eyes were +turned upon the dominie's hand, and though he pocketed it smartly +several members had seen the blood. The dominie was a rare visitor at +the club after that, though he outlived poor Mr. Dickie by many years. +Mr. Dickie was a teacher in Tilliedrum, but he was ruined by drink. He +wandered from town to town, reciting Greek and Latin poetry to any one +who would give him a dram, and sometimes he wept and moaned aloud in +the street, crying, "Poor Mr. Dickie! poor Mr. Dickie!" + +The leading poet in a club of poets was Dite Walls, who kept a school +when there were scholars, and weaved when there were none. He had a +song that was published in a half-penny leaflet about the famous +lawsuit instituted by the farmer of Teuchbusses against the Laird of +Drumlee. The laird was alleged to have taken from the land of +Teuchbusses sufficient broom to make a besom thereof, and I am not +certain that the case is settled to this day. It was Dite or another +member of the club who wrote, "The Wife o' Deeside," of all the songs +of the period the one that had the greatest vogue in the county at a +time when Lord Jeffrey was cursed at every fireside in Thrums. The +wife of Deeside was tried for the murder of her servant who had +infatuated the young laird, and had it not been that Jeffrey defended +her she would, in the words of the song, have "hung like a troot." It +is not easy now to conceive the rage against Jeffrey when the woman was +acquitted. The song was sung and recited in the streets, at the +smiddy, in bothies, and by firesides, to the shaking of fists and the +grinding of teeth. It began-- + + "Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside, + She poisoned her maid for to keep up her pride, + Ye'll a' hae hear tell o' the wife o' Deeside." + + +Before the excitement had abated, Jeffrey was in Tilliedrum for +electioneering purposes, and he was mobbed in the streets. Angry +crowds pressed close to howl, "Wife o' Deeside!" at him. A contingent +from Thrums was there, and it was long afterwards told of Sam'l Todd, +by himself, that he hit Jeffrey on the back of the head with a clod of +earth. + +Johnny McQuhatty, a brother of the T'nowhead farmer, was the one +taciturn member of the club, and you had only to look at him to know +that he had a secret. He was a great genius at the hand-loom, and +invented a loom for the weaving of linen such as has not been seen +before or since. In the day-time he kept guard over his "shop," into +which no one was allowed to enter, and the fame of his loom was so +great that he had to watch over it with a gun. At night he weaved, and +when the result at last pleased him he made the linen into shirts, all +of which he stitched together with his own hands, even to the +buttonholes. He sent one shirt to the Queen, and another to the +Duchess of Athole, mentioning a very large price for them, which he +got. Then he destroyed his wonderful loom, and how it was made no one +will ever know. Johnny only took to literature after he had made his +name, and he seldom spoke at the club except when ghosts and the like +were the subject of debate, as they tended to be when the farmer of +Muckle Haws could get in a word. Muckle Haws was fascinated by +Johnny's sneers at superstition, and sometimes on dark nights the +inventor had to make his courage good by seeing the farmer past the +doulie yates (ghost gates), which Muckle Haws had to go perilously near +on his way home. Johnny was a small man, but it was the burly farmer +who shook at sight of the gates standing out white in the night. White +gates have an evil name still, and Muckle Haws was full of horrors as +he drew near them, clinging to Johnny's arm. It was on such a night, +he would remember, that he saw the White Lady go through the gates +greeting sorely, with a dead bairn in her arms, while water kelpies +laughed and splashed in the pools, and the witches danced in a ring +round Broken Buss. That very night twelve months ago the packman was +murdered at Broken Buss, and Easie Pettie hanged herself on the stump +of a tree. Last night there were ugly sounds from the quarry of Croup, +where the bairn lies buried, and it's not mous (canny) to be out at +such a time. The farmer had seen spectre maidens walking round the +ruined castle of Darg, and the castle all lit up with flaring torches, +and dead knights and ladies sitting in the halls at the wine-cup, and +the devil himself flapping his wings on the ramparts. + +When the debates were political, two members with the gift of song +fired the blood with their own poems about taxation and the +depopulation of the Highlands, and by selling these songs from door to +door they made their livelihood. + +Books and pamphlets were brought into the town by the flying +stationers, as they were called, who visited the square periodically +carrying their wares on their backs, except at the Muckly, when they +had their stall and even sold books by auction. The flying stationer +best known to Thrums was Sandersy Riach, who was stricken from head to +foot with the palsy, and could only speak with a quaver in consequence. +Sandersy brought to the members of the club all the great books he +could get second hand, but his stock-in-trade was Thrummy Cap and +Akenstaff, the Fishwives of Buckhaven, the Devil upon Two Sticks, +Gilderoy, Sir James the Rose, the Brownie of Badenoch, the Ghaist of +Firenden, and the like. It was from Sandersy that Tammas Haggart +bought his copy of Shakspeare, whom Mr. Dishart could never abide. +Tammas kept what he had done from his wife, but Chirsty saw a +deterioration setting in and told the minister of her suspicions. Mr. +Dishart was newly placed at the time and very vigorous, and the way he +shook the truth out of Tammas was grand. The minister pulled Tammas +the one way and Gavin pulled him the other, but Mr. Dishart was not the +man to be beaten, and he landed Tammas in the Auld Licht kirk before +the year was out. Chirsty buried Shakspeare in the yard. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AULD LICHT IDYLLS*** + + +******* This file should be named 20918.txt or 20918.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/0/9/1/20918 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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