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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/2105-h.zip b/2105-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d5b6ef --- /dev/null +++ b/2105-h.zip diff --git a/2105-h/2105-h.htm b/2105-h/2105-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b355e0d --- /dev/null +++ b/2105-h/2105-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3989 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + History of Friedrich II. Of Prussia, Volume 5 by Thomas Carlyle + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of History Of Friedrich II. of Prussia, Volume +V. (of XXI.), by Thomas Carlyle + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: History Of Friedrich II. of Prussia, Volume V. (of XXI.) + Frederick The Great--Double-Marriage Project, And What + Element It Fell Into--1723-1726 + +Author: Thomas Carlyle + +Release Date: June 13, 2008 [EBook #2105] +Last Updated: November 30, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II. *** + + + + +Produced by D.R. Thompson and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II OF PRUSSIA + </h1> + <h2> + FREDERICK THE GREAT + </h2> + <h2> + <br /> By Thomas Carlyle + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + VOLUME 5 + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <div class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <big><b>BOOK V. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE PROJECT, + AND WHAT ELEMENT IT FELL INTO. — 1723-1726.</b></big> </a><br /> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0001"> <b>Chapter I. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE IS + DECIDED ON.</b> </a><br /> + <div class="toc2"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> QUEEN SOPHIE DOROTHEE HAS TAKEN TIME BY THE + FORELOCK. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> PRINCESS AMELIA COMES INTO + THE WORLD. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S TEN + CHILDREN. </a><br /> + </div> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0002"> <b>Chapter II. — A KAISER HUNTING + SHADOWS.</b> </a><br /> + <div class="toc2"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> IMPERIAL MAJESTY ON THE TREATY OF UTRECHT. + </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> IMPERIAL MAJESTY HAS GOT HAPPILY + WEDDED. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE + TERMAGANT OF SPAIN. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> IMPERIAL + MAJESTY'S PRAGMATIC SANCTION. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> THIRD + SHADOW: IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S OSTEND COMPANY. </a><br /> + </div> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0003"> <b>Chapter III. — THE SEVEN CRISES OR + EUROPEAN TRAVAIL-THROES.</b> </a><br /> + <div class="toc2"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI. </a><br /> <a + href="#link2H_4_0014"> CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI GETS THE FLOOR PULLED FROM + UNDER IT. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> FRANCE AND THE BRITANNIC + MAJESTY TRIM THE SHIP AGAIN: HOW FRIEDRICH WILHELM CAME INTO IT. TREATY + OF HANOVER, 1725. </a><br /> <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> TRAVAIL-THROES OF + NATURE FOR BABY CARLOS'S ITALIAN APANAGE; SEVEN IN NUMBER. </a><br /> + </div> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0004"> <b>Chapter IV. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE + TREATY CANNOT BE SIGNED.</b> </a><br /><br /> <a href="#link2HCH0005"> <b>Chapter + V. — CROWN-PRINCE GOES INTO THE POTSDAM GUARDS.</b> </a><br /> + <div class="toc2"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0019"> OF THE POTSDAM GIANTS, AS A FACT. </a><br /> <a + href="#link2H_4_0020"> FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S RECRUITING DIFFICULTIES. </a><br /> + <a href="#link2H_4_0021"> QUEEN SOPHIE'S TROUBLES: GRUMKOW WITH THE OLD + DESSAUER, AND GRUMKOW WITHOUT HIM. </a><br /> + </div> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0006"> <b>Chapter VI. — ORDNANCE-MASTER + SECKENDORF CROSSES THE PALACE ESPLANADE.</b> </a><br /><br /> <a + href="#link2HCH0007"> <b>Chapter VII. — TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT.</b> </a><br /> + <div class="toc2"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0024"> OF GUNDLING, AND THE LITERARY MEN IN + TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. </a><br /> + </div> + <br /> <a href="#link2HCH0008"> <b>Chapter VIII. — SECKENDORF'S + RETORT TO HER MAJESTY.</b> </a><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h1> + BOOK V. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE PROJECT, AND WHAT ELEMENT IT FELL INTO. + — 1723-1726. + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter I. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE IS DECIDED ON. + </h2> + <p> + We saw George I. at Berlin in October, 1723, looking out upon his little + Grandson drilling the Cadets there; but we did not mention what important + errand had brought his Majesty thither. + </p> + <p> + Visits between Hanover and Berlin had been frequent for a long time back; + the young Queen of Prussia, sometimes with her husband, sometimes without, + running often over to see her Father; who, even after his accession to the + English crown, was generally for some months every year to be met with in + those favorite regions of his. He himself did not much visit, being of + taciturn splenetic nature: but this once he had agreed to return a visit + they had lately made him,—where a certain weighty Business had been + agreed upon, withal; which his Britannic Majesty was to consummate + formally, by treaty, when the meeting in Berlin took effect. His Britannic + Majesty, accordingly, is come; the business in hand is no other than that + thrice-famous "Double-Marriage" of Prussia with England; which once had + such a sound in the ear of Rumor, and still bulks so big in the archives + of the Eighteenth Century; which worked such woe to all parties concerned + in it; and is, in fact, a first-rate nuisance in the History of that poor + Century, as written hitherto. Nuisance demanding urgently to be abated;—were + that well possible at present. Which, alas, it is not, to any great + degree; there being an important young Friedrich inextricably wrapt up in + it, to whom it was of such vital or almost fatal importance! Without a + Friedrich, the affair could be reduced to something like its real size, + and recorded in a few pages; or might even, with advantage, be forgotten + altogether, and become zero. More gigantic instance of much ado about + nothing has seldom occurred in human annals;—had not there been a + Friedrich in the heart of it. + </p> + <p> + Crown-Prince Friedrich is still very young for marriage-speculations on + his score: but Mamma has thought good to take matters in time. And so we + shall, in the next ensuing parts of this poor History, have to hear almost + as much about Marriage as in the foolishest Three-volume Novel, and almost + to still less purpose. For indeed, in that particular, Friedrich's young + Life may be called a ROMANCE FLUNG HELLS-OVER-HEAD; Marriage being the one + event there, round which all events turn,—but turn in the inverse or + reverse way (as if the Devil were in them); not only towards no happy goal + for him or Mamma, or us, but at last towards hardly any goal at all for + anybody! So mad did the affair grow;—and is so madly recorded in + those inextricable, dateless, chaotic Books. We have now come to regions + of Narrative, which seem to consist of murky Nothingness put on boil; not + land, or water, or air, or fire, but a tumultuously whirling commixture of + all the four;—of immense extent too. Which must be got crossed, in + some human manner. Courage, patience, good reader! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + QUEEN SOPHIE DOROTHEE HAS TAKEN TIME BY THE FORELOCK. + </h2> + <p> + Already, for a dozen years, this matter has been treated of. Queen Sophie + Dorothee, ever since the birth of her Wilhelmina, has had the notion of + it; and, on her first visit afterwards to Hanover, proposed it to + "Princess Caroline,"—Queen Caroline of England who was to be, and + who in due course was;—an excellent accomplished Brandenburg-Anspach + Lady, familiar from of old in the Prussian Court: "You, Caroline, Cousin + dear, have a little Prince, Fritz, or let us call him FRED, since he is to + be English; little Fred, who will one day, if all go right, be King of + England. He is two years older than my little Wilhelmina: why should not + they wed, and the two chief Protestant Houses, and Nations, thereby be + united?" Princess Caroline was very willing; so was Electress Sophie, the + Great-Grandmother of both the parties; so were the Georges, Father and + Grandfather of Fred: little Fred himself was highly charmed, when told of + it; even little Wilhelmina, with her dolls, looked pleasantly demure on + the occasion. So it remained settled in fact, though not in form; and + little Fred (a florid milk-faced foolish kind of Boy, I guess) made + presents to his little Prussian Cousin, wrote bits of love-letters to her; + and all along afterwards fancied himself, and at length ardently enough + became, her little lover and intended,—always rather a little + fellow:—to which sentiments Wilhelmina signifies that she responded + with the due maidenly indifference, but not in an offensive manner. + </p> + <p> + After our Prussian Fritz's birth, the matter took a still closer form: + "You, dear Princess Caroline, you have now two little Princesses again, + either of whom might suit my little Fritzchen; let us take Amelia, the + second of them, who is nearest his age?" "Agreed!" answered Princess + Caroline again. "Agreed!" answered all the parties interested: and so it + was settled, that the Marriage of Prussia to England should be a Double + one, Fred of Hanover and England to Wilhelmina, Fritz of Prussia to + Amelia; and children and parents lived thenceforth in the constant + understanding that such, in due course of years, was to be the case, + though nothing yet was formally concluded by treaty upon it. [Pollnitz, <i> + Memoiren,</i> ii. 193.] + </p> + <p> + Queen Sophie Dorothee of Prussia was always eager enough for treaty, and + conclusion to her scheme. True to it, she, as needle to the pole in all + weathers; sometimes in the wildest weather, poor lady. Nor did the Hanover + Serene Highnesses, at any time, draw back or falter: but having very soon + got wafted across to England, into new more complex conditions, and wider + anxieties in that new country, they were not so impressively eager as + Queen Sophie, on this interesting point. Electress Sophie, judicious + Great-Grandmother, was not now there: Electress Sophie had died about a + month before Queen Anne; and never saw the English Canaan, much as she had + longed for it. George I., her son, a taciturn, rather splenetic elderly + Gentleman, very foreign in England, and oftenest rather sulky there and + elsewhere, was not in a humor to be forward in that particular business. + </p> + <p> + George I. had got into quarrel with his Prince of Wales, Fred's Father,—him + who is one day to be George II., always a rather foolish little Prince, + though his Wife Caroline was Wisdom's self in a manner:—George I. + had other much more urgent cares than that of marrying his disobedient + foolish little Prince of Wales's offspring; and he always pleaded + difficulties, Acts of Parliament that would be needed, and the like, + whenever Sophie Dorothee came to visit him at Hanover, and urge this + matter. The taciturn, inarticulately thoughtful, rather sulky old + Gentleman, he had weighty burdens lying on him; felt fretted and galled, + in many ways; and had found life, Electoral and even Royal, a deceptive + sumptuosity, little better than a more or less extensive "feast of + SHELLS," next to no real meat or drink left in it to the hungry heart of + man. Wife sitting half-frantic in the Castle of Ahlden, waxing more and + more into a gray-haired Megaera (with whom Sophie Dorothee under seven + seals of secrecy corresponds a little, and even the Prince of Wales is + suspected of wishing to correspond); a foolish disobedient Prince of + Wales; Jacobite Pretender people with their Mar Rebellions, with their + Alberoni combinations; an English Parliament jangling and debating + unmelodiously, whose very language is a mystery to us, nothing but Walpole + in dog-latin to help us through it: truly it is not a Heaven-on-Earth + altogether, much as Mother Sophie and her foolish favorite, our + disobedient Prince of Wales, might long for it! And the Hanover Tail, the + Robethons, Bernstorfs, Fabrices, even the Blackamoor Porters,—they + are not beautiful either, to a taciturn Majesty of some sense, if he cared + about their doings or them. Voracious, plunderous, all of them; like + hounds, long hungry, got into a rich house which has no master, or a mere + imaginary one. "MENTERIS IMPUDENTISSIME," said Walpole in his dog-latin + once, in our Royal presence, to one of these official plunderous + gentlemen, "You tell an impudent lie!"—at which we only laughed. + [Horace Walpole, <i>Reminiscences of George I. and George II.</i> (London, + 1786.)] + </p> + <p> + His Britannic Majesty by no means wanted sense, had not his situation been + incurably absurd. In his young time he had served creditably enough + against the Turks; twice commanded the REICHS-Army in the Marlborough + Wars, and did at least testify his indignation at the inefficient state of + it. His Foreign Politics, so called, were not madder than those of others. + Bremen and Verden he had bought a bargain; and it was natural to protect + them by such resources as he had, English or other. Then there was the + World-Spectre of the Pretender, stretching huge over Creation, like the + Brocken-Spectre in hazy weather;—against whom how protect yourself, + except by cannonading for the Kaiser at Messina; by rushing into every + brabble that rose, and hiring the parties with money to fight it out well? + It was the established method in that matter; method not of George's + inventing, nor did it cease with George. As to Domestic Politics, except + it were to keep quiet, and eat what the gods had provided, one does not + find that he had any.—The sage Leibnitz would very fain have + followed him to England; but, for reasons indifferently good, could never + be allowed. If the truth must be told, the sage Leibnitz had a wisdom + which now looks dreadfully like that of a wiseacre! In Mathematics even,—he + did invent the Differential Calculus, but it is certain also he never + could believe in Newton's System of the Universe, nor would read the + PRINCIPIA at all. For the rest, he was in quarrel about Newton with the + Royal Society here; ill seen, it is probable, by this sage and the other. + To the Hanover Official Gentlemen devouring their English dead-horse, it + did not appear that his presence could be useful in these parts. + [Guhrauer, <i>Gottfried Freiherr von Leibnitz, eine Biographie</i> + (Breslau, 1842); Ker of Kersland, <i>Memoirs of Secret Transactions</i> + (London, 1727)]. + </p> + <p> + Nor are the Hanover womankind his Majesty has about him, quasi-wives or + not, of a soul-entrancing character; far indeed from that. Two in chief + there are, a fat and a lean: the lean, called "Maypole" by the English + populace, is "Duchess of Kendal," with excellent pension, in the English + Peeragy; Schulenburg the former German name of her; decidedly a quasi-wife + (influential, against her will, in that sad Konigsmark Tragedy, at Hanover + long since), who is fallen thin and old. "Maypole,"—or bare + Hop-pole, with the leaves all stript; lean, long, hard;—though she + once had her summer verdures too; and still, as an old quasi-wife, or were + it only as an old article of furniture, has her worth to the royal mind, + Schulenburgs, kindred of hers, are high in the military line; some of whom + we may meet. + </p> + <p> + Then besides this lean one, there is a fat; of whom Walpole (Horace, who + had seen her in boyhood) gives description. Big staring black eyes, with + rim of circular eyebrow, like a coach-wheel round its nave, very black the + eyebrows also; vast red face; cheeks running into neck, neck blending + indistinguishably with stomach,—a mere cataract of fluid tallow, + skinned over and curiously dizened, according to Walpole's portraiture. + This charming creature, Kielmannsegge by German name, was called "Countess + of Darlington" in this country—with excellent pension, as was + natural. They all had pensions: even Queen Sophie Dorothee, I have noticed + in our State-Paper Office, has her small pension, "800 pounds a year on + the Irish Establishment:" Irish Establishment will never miss such a + pittance for our poor Child, and it may be useful over yonder!—This + Kielmannsegge, Countess of Darlington was, and is, believed by the + gossiping English to have been a second simultaneous Mistress of his + Majesty's; but seems, after all, to have been his Half-Sister and nothing + more. Half-Sister (due to Gentleman Ernst and a Countess Platen of bad + Hanover fame); grown dreadfully fat; but not without shrewdness, perhaps + affection; and worth something in this dull foreign country, mere cataract + of animal oils as she has become. These Two are the amount of his + Britannic Majesty's resources in that matter; resources surely not + extensive, after all!— + </p> + <p> + His Britannic Majesty's day, in St. James's, is not of an interesting sort + to him; and every evening he comes precisely at a certain hour to drink + beer, seasoned with a little tobacco, and the company of these two women. + Drinks diligently in a sipping way, says Horace; and smokes, with such + dull speech as there may be,—not till he is drunk, but only + perceptibly drunkish; raised into a kind of cloudy narcotic Olympus, and + opaquely superior to the ills of life; in which state he walks + uncomplainingly to bed. Government, when it can by any art be avoided, he + rarely meddles with; shows a rugged sagacity, where he does and must + meddle: consigns it to Walpole in dog-latin,—laughs at his + "MENTIRIS." This is the First George; first triumph of the Constitutional + Principle, which has since gone to such sublime heights among us,—heights + which we at last begin to suspect might be depths, leading down, all men + now ask: Whitherwards? A much-admired invention in its time, that of + letting go the rudder, or setting a wooden figure expensively dressed to + take charge of it, and discerning that the ship would sail of itself so + much more easily! Which it will, if a peculiarly good seaboat, in certain + kinds of sea,—for a time. Till the Sinbad "Magnetic Mountains" begin + to be felt pulling, or the circles of Charybdis get you in their sweep; + and then what an invention it was!—This, we say, is the new + Sovereign Man, whom the English People, being in some perplexity about the + Pope and other points, have called in from Hanover, to walk before them in + the ways of heroism, and by command and by example guide Heavenwards their + affairs and them. And they hope that he will do it? Or perhaps that their + affairs will go thither of their own accord? Always a singular People!— + </p> + <p> + Poor George, careless of these ulterior issues, has always trouble enough + with the mere daily details, Parliamentary insolences, Jacobite plottings, + South-Sea Bubbles; and wishes to hunt, when he gets over to Hanover, + rather than to make Marriage-Treaties. Besides, as Wilhelmina tells us, + they have filled him with lies, these Hanover Women and their emissaries: + "Your Princess Wilhelmina is a monster of ill-temper, crooked in the back + and what not," say they. If there is to be a Marriage, double or single, + these Improper Females must first be persuaded to consent. [<i>Memoires de + Bareith.</i>] Difficulties enough. And there is none to help; Friedrich + Wilhelm cares little about the matter, though he has given his Yes,—Yes, + since you will. + </p> + <p> + But Sophie Dorothee is diligent and urgent, by all opportunities;—and, + at length, in 1723, the conjuncture is propitious. Domestic Jacobitism, in + the shape of Bishop Atterbury, has got, itself well banished; Alberoni and + his big schemes, years ago they are blown into outer darkness; Charles + XII. is well dead, and of our Bremen and Verden no question henceforth; + even the Kaiser's Spectre-Hunt, or Spanish Duel, is at rest for the + present, and the Congress of Cambrai is sitting, or trying all it can to + sit: at home or abroad, there is nothing, not even Wood's Irish Halfpence, + as yet making noise. And on the other hand, Czar Peter is rumored (not + without foundation) to be coming westward, with some huge armament; which, + whether "intended for Sweden" or not, renders a Prussian alliance doubly + valuable. + </p> + <p> + And so now at last, in this favorable aspect of the stars, King George, + over at Herrenhausen, was by much management of his Daughter Sophie's, and + after many hitches, brought to the mark. And Friedrich Wilhelm came over + too; ostensibly to bring home his Queen, but in reality to hear his + Father-in-law's compliance to the Double-Marriage,—for which his + Prussian Majesty is willing enough, if others are willing. Praised be + Heaven, King George has agreed to everything; consents, one propitious day + (Autumn 1723, day not otherwise dated),—Czar Peter's Armament, and + the questionable aspects in France, perhaps quickening his volitions a + little. Upon which Friedrich Wilhelm and Queen Sophie have returned home, + content in that matter; and expect shortly his Britannic Majesty's + counter-visit, to perfect the details, and make a Treaty of it. + </p> + <p> + His Britannic Majesty, we say, has in substance agreed to everything. And + now, in the silence of Nature, the brown leaves of October still hanging + to the trees in a picturesque manner, and Wood's Halfpence not yet begun + to jingle in the Drapier's Letters of Dean Swift,—his Britannic + Majesty is expected at Berlin. At Berlin; properly at Charlottenburg a + pleasant rural or suburban Palace (built by his Britannic Majesty's late + noble Sister, Sophie Charlotte, "the Republican Queen," and named after + her, as was once mentioned), a mile or two Southwest of that City. There + they await King George's counter-visit. + </p> + <p> + Poor Wilhelmina is in much trepidation about it; and imparts her poor + little feelings, her anticipations and experiences, in readable terms:— + </p> + <p> + "There came, in those weeks, one of the Duke of Gloucester's gentlemen to + Berlin,"—DUKE OF GLOUCESTER is Fred our intended, not yet Prince of + Wales, and if the reader should ever hear of a DUKE OF EDINBURGH, that too + is Fred,—"Duke of Gloucester's gentlemen to Berlin," says + Wilhelmina: "the Queen had Soiree (APPARTEMENT); he was presented to her + as well as to me. He made me a very obliging compliment on his Master's + part; I blushed, and answered only by a courtesy. The Queen, who had her + eye on me, was very angry I had answered the Duke's compliments in mere + silence; and rated me sharply (ME LAVA LA TETE D'IMPORTANCE) for it; and + ordered me, under pain of her indignation, to repair that fault to-morrow. + I retired, all in tears, to my room; exasperated against the Queen and + against the Duke; I swore I would never marry him, would throw myself at + the feet—" And so on, as young ladies of vivacious temper, in + extreme circumstances, are wont:—did speak, however, next day, to my + Hanover gentleman about his Duke, a little, though in an embarrassed + manner. Alas, I am yet but fourteen, gone the 3d of July last: tremulous + as aspen-leaves; or say, as sheet-lightning bottled in one of the thinnest + human skins; and have no experience of foolish Dukes and affairs!— + </p> + <p> + "Meanwhile," continues Wilhelmina, "the King of England's time of arrival + was drawing nigh. We repaired, on the 6th of October, to Charlottenburg to + receive him. The heart of me kept beating, and I was in cruel agitations. + King George [my Grandfather, and Grand Uncle] arrived on the 8th, about + seven in the evening;"—dusky shades already sinking over Nature + everywhere, and all paths growing dim. Abundant flunkies, of course, rush + out with torches or what is needful. "The King of Prussia, the Queen and + all their Suite received him in the Court of the Palace, the 'Apartments' + being on the ground-floor. So soon as he had saluted the King and Queen, I + was presented to him. He embraced me; and turning to the Queen said to + her, 'Your daughter is very big of her age!' He gave the Queen his hand, + and led her into her apartment, whither everybody followed them. As soon + as I came in, he took a light from the table, and surveyed me from head to + foot. I stood motionless as a statue, and was much put out of countenance. + All this went on without his uttering the least word. Having thus passed + me in review, he addressed himself to my Brother, whom he caressed much, + and amused himself with, for a good while." Pretty little Grandson this, + your Majesty;—any future of history in this one, think you? "I," + says Wilhelmina, "took the opportunity of slipping out;"—hopeful to + get away; but could not, the Queen having noticed. + </p> + <p> + "The Queen made me a sign to follow her; and passed into a neighboring + apartment, where she had the English and Germans of King George's Suite + successively presented to her. After some talk with these gentlemen, she + withdrew; leaving me to entertain them, and saying: 'Speak English to my + Daughter; you will find she speaks it very well.' I felt much less + embarrassed, once the Queen was gone; and picking up a little courage, I + entered into conversation with these English. As I spoke their language + like my mother-tongue, I got pretty well out of the affair, and everybody + seemed charmed with me. They made my eulogy to the Queen; told her I had + quite the English air, and was made to be their Sovereign one day. It was + saying a great deal on their part: for these English think themselves so + much above all other people, that they imagine they are paying a high + compliment when they tell any one he has got English manners. + </p> + <p> + "Their King [my Grandpapa] had got Spanish manners, I should say: he was + of an extreme gravity, and hardly spoke a word to anybody. He saluted + Madam Sonsfeld [my invaluable thrice-dear Governess] very coldly; and + asked her 'If I was always so serious, and if my humor was of the + melancholy turn?' 'Anything but that, Sire,' answered the other: 'but the + respect she has for your Majesty prevents her from being as sprightly as + she commonly is.' He wagged his head, and answered nothing. The reception + he had given me, and this question, of which I heard, gave me such a + chill, that I never had the courage to speak to him,"—was merely + looked at with a candle by Grandpapa. + </p> + <p> + "We were summoned to supper at last, where this grave Sovereign still + remained dumb. Perhaps he was right, perhaps he was wrong; but I think he + followed the proverb, which says, Better hold your tongue than speak + badly. At the end of the repast he felt indisposed. The Queen would have + persuaded him to quit table; they bandied compliments a good while on the + point; but at last she threw down her napkin, and rose. The King of + England naturally rose too; but began to stagger; the King of Prussia ran + up to help him, all the company ran bustling about him; but it was to no + purpose: he sank on his knees; his peruke falling on one side, and his hat + [or at least his head, Madam!] on the other. They stretched him softly on + the floor; where he remained a good hour without consciousness. The pains + they took with him brought back his senses, by degrees, at last. The Queen + and the King [of Prussia] were in despair all this while. Many have + thought this attack was a herald of the stroke of apoplexy which came by + and by,"—within four years from this date, and carried off his + Majesty in a very gloomy manner. + </p> + <p> + "They passionately entreated him to retire now," continues Wilhelmina; + "but he would not by any means. He led out the Queen, and did the other + ceremonies, according to rule; had a very bad night, as we learned + underhand;" but persisted stoically nevertheless, being a crowned Majesty, + and bound to it. He stoically underwent four or three other days, of + festival, sight-seeing, "pleasure" so called;—among other sights, + saw little Fritz drilling his Cadets at Berlin;—and on the fourth + day (12th October, 1723, so thinks Wilhelmina) fairly "signed the Treaty + of the Double-Marriage," English Townshend and the Prussian Ministry + having settled all things. [Wilhelmina, <i>Memoires de Bareith,</i> i. 83, + 87,—In Coxe (<i>Memoirs of Sir Robert Walpole,</i> London, 1798), + ii. 266, 272, 273, are some faint hints, from Townshend, of this Berlin + journey.] + </p> + <p> + "Signed the Treaty," thinks Wilhelmina, "all things being settled." Which + is an error on the part of Wilhelmina. Settled many or all things were by + Townshend and the others: but before signing, there was Parliament to be + apprised, there were formalities, expenditure of time; between the cup and + the lip, such things to intervene;—and the sad fact is, the + Double-Marriage Treaty never was signed at all!—However, all things + being now settled ready for signing, his Britannic Majesty, next morning, + set off for the GOHRDE again, to try if there were any hunting possible. + </p> + <p> + This authentic glimpse, one of the few that are attainable, of their first + Constitutional King, let English readers make the most of. The act done + proved dreadfully momentous to our little Friend, his Grandson; and will + much concern us! + </p> + <p> + Thus, at any rate, was the Treaty of the Double-Marriage settled, to the + point of signing,—thought to be as good as signed. It was at the + time when Czar Peter was making armaments to burn Sweden; when Wood's + Halfpence (on behalf of her Improper Grace of Kendal, the lean Quasi-Wife, + "Maypole" or Hop-pole, who had run short of money, as she often did) were + about beginning to jingle in Ireland; [Coxe (i. 216, 217, and SUPPLY the + dates); Walpole to Townshend, 13th October, 1723 (ib. ii. 275): <i>"The + Drapier's Letters"</i> are of 1724.] when Law's Bubble "System" had + fallen, well flaccid, into Chaos again; when Dubois the unutterable + Cardinal had at length died, and d'Orleans the unutterable Regent was + unexpectedly about to do so,—in a most surprising Sodom-and-Gomorrah + manner. [2d December, 1723: Barbier, <i>Journal Historique du Regne de + Louis XV. </i> (Paris, 1847), i. 192, 196; Lacretelle, <i>Histoire de + France, 18me siecle;</i> &c.] Not to mention other dull and vile + phenomena of putrid fermentation, which were transpiring, or sluttishly + bubbling up, in poor benighted rotten Europe here or there;—since + these are sufficient to date the Transaction for us; and what does not + stick to our Fritz and his affairs it is more pleasant to us to forget + than to remember, of such an epoch. + </p> + <p> + Hereby, for the present, is a great load rolled from Queen Sophie + Dorothee's heart. One, and, that the highest, of her abstruse + negotiations, cherished, labored in, these fourteen years, she has brought + to a victorious issue,—has she not? Her poor Mother, once so + radiant, now so dim and angry, shut in the Castle of Ahlden, does not + approve this Double-Marriage; not she for her part;—as indeed evil + to all Hanoverian interests is now chiefly her good, poor Lady; and she is + growing more and more of a Megaera every day. With whom Sophie Dorothee + has her own difficulties and abstruse practices; but struggles always to + maintain, under seven-fold secrecy, some thread of correspondence and + pious filial ministration wherever possible; that the poor exasperated + Mother, wretchedest and angriest of women, be not quite cut off from the + kinship of the living, but that some soft breath of pity may cool her + burning heart now and then. [In <i>Memoirs of Sophia Dorothea</i> (London, + 1845), ii. 385, 393, are certain fractions of this Correspondence, + "edited" in an amazing manner.] A dark tragedy of Sophie's, this; the + Bluebeard Chamber of her mind, into which no eye but her own must ever + look. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PRINCESS AMELIA COMES INTO THE WORLD. + </h2> + <p> + In reference to Queen Sophie, and chronologically if not otherwise + connected with this Double-Marriage Treaty, I will mention one other + thing. Her Majesty had been in fluctuating health, all summer; + unaccountable symptoms turning up in her Majesty's constitution, languors, + qualms, especially a tendency to swelling or increase of size, which had + puzzled and alarmed her Doctors and her. Friedrich Wilhelm, on conclusion + of the Marriage-Treaty, had been appointed to join his Father-in-law, + Britannic George, at the Gohrde, in some three weeks' time, and have a + bout of hunting. On the 8th of November, bedtime being come, he kissed his + Wilhelmina and the rest, by way of good-by; intending to start very early + on the morrow:—long journey (150 miles or so), to be done all in one + day. In the dead of the night, Queen Sophie was seized with dreadful + colics,—pangs of colic or who knows what;—Friedrich Wilhelm is + summoned; rises in the highest alarm; none but the maids and he at hand to + help; and the colic, or whatever it may be, gets more and more dreadful. + </p> + <p> + Colic? O poor Sophie, it is travail, and no colic; and a clever young + Princess is suddenly the result! None but Friedrich Wilhelm and the maid + for midwives; mother and infant, nevertheless, doing perfectly well. + Friedrich Wilhelm did not go on the morrow, but next day; laughed, ever + and anon in loud hahas, at the part he had been playing; and was very glad + and merry. How the experienced Sophie, whose twelfth child this is, came + to commit such an oversight is unaccountable; but the fact is certain, and + made a merry noise in Court circles. [Pollnitz, ii. 199; Wilhelmina, i. + 87, 88.] + </p> + <p> + The clever little Princess, now born in this manner, is known by name to + idle readers. She was christened AMELIA; and we shall hear of her in time + coming. But there was, as the Circulating Libraries still intimate, a + certain loud-spoken braggart of the histrionic-heroic sort, called Baron + Trenck, windy, rash, and not without mendacity, who has endeavored to + associate her with his own transcendent and not undeserved ill-luck; + hinting the poor Princess into a sad fame in that way. For which, it would + now appear, there was no basis whatever! Most condemnable Trenck;—whom, + however, Robespierre guillotined finally, and so settled that account and + others. + </p> + <p> + Of Sophie Dorothee's twelve children, including this Amelia, there are now + eight living, two boys, six girls; and after Amelia, two others, boys, are + successively to come: ten in all, who grew to be men and women. Of whom + perhaps I had better subjoin a List; now that the eldest Boy and Girl are + about to get settled in life; and therewith close this Chapter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S TEN CHILDREN. + </h2> + <h3> + Marriage to Sophie Dorothee, 28th November, 1706. + </h3> + <p> + A little Prince, born 23d November, 1707, died in six months. Then came, + </p> + <p> + 1. FREDERIKA SOPHIE WILHELMINA, ultimately Margravine of Baireuth, after + strange adventures in the marriage-treaty way. Wrote her <i>Memoires</i> + there, about 1744. Of whom we shall hear much. Left a Daughter, her one + child; Daughter badly married, to "Karl reigning Duke of Wurtemberg" (Poet + Schiller's famous Serene Highness there), from whom she had to separate, + &c., with anger enough, by and by. + </p> + <p> + After Wilhelmina in the Family series came a second Prince, who died in + the eleventh month. Then, 24th January, 1712, + </p> + <p> + 2. FRIEDRICH. + </p> + <p> + After whom (1713) a little Princess, who died in few months. And then, + </p> + <p> + 3. FREDERIKA LOUISA, born 28th September, 1714; age now about nine. + Margravine of Anspach, 30th May, 1729; Widow 1757. Her one Son, born 1736, + was the LADY-CRAVEN'S Anspach. Frederika Louisa died 4th February, 1734. + </p> + <p> + 4. PHILIPPINA CHARLOTTE, born 13th of March, 1716; became Duchess of + Brunswick (her Husband was Eldest Brother of the "Prince Ferdinand" so + famous in England in the Seven-Years War); her Son was the Duke who + invaded France in 1792, and was tragically hurled to ruin in the Battle of + Jena, 1806. The Mother lived till 1801; Widow since 1780. + </p> + <p> + After whom, in 1717, again a little Prince, who died within two years (our + Fritz then seven,—probably the first time Death ever came before + him, practically into his little thoughts in this world): then, + </p> + <p> + 5. SOPHIE DOROTHEE MARIA, born 25th January, 1719; Margravine of Schwedt, + 1734 (eldest Magraf of Schwedt, mentioned above as a comrade of the + Crown-Prince). Her life not very happy; she died 1765. Left no son + (Brother-in-law succeeded, last of the Schwedt MARGRAVES): her Daughter, + wedded to Prince Friedrich Eugen, a Prussian Officer, Cadet of Wurtemberg + and ultimately Heir there, is Ancestress of the Wurtemberg Sovereignties + that now are, and also (by one of HER daughters married to Paul of Russia) + of all the Czar kindred of our time. [Preuss, iv. 278; Erman, <i>Vie de + Sophie Charlotte,</i> p. 2722.] + </p> + <p> + 6. LOUISA ULRIQUE, born 24th July, 1720; married Adolf Friedrich, + Heir-Apparent, subsequemly King of Sweden, 17th July, 1744; Queen (he + having acceded) 6th April, 1751; Widow 1771; died, at Stockholm, 16th + July, 1782. Mother of the subsequent Kings; her Grandson the DEPOSED> + [OErtel, p. 83; Hubner, tt. 91, 227.] + </p> + <p> + 7. AUGUST WILHELM, born 9th August, 1722; Heir-Apparent after Friedrich + (so declared by Friedrich, 30th June, 1744); Father of the Kings who have + since followed. He himself died, in sad circumstances, as we shall see, + 12th June, 1758. + </p> + <p> + 8. ANNA AMELIA, born 9th November, 1723,—on the terms we have seen. + </p> + <p> + 9. FRIEDRICH HEINRICH LUDWIG, born 18th January, 1726;—the famed + Prince Henri, of whom we shall hear. + </p> + <p> + 10. AUGUST FERDINAND, born 23d May, 1730: a brilliant enough little + soldier under his Brother, full of spirit and talent, but liable to weak + health;—was Father of the "Prince Louis Ferdinand," a tragic Failure + of something considerable, who went off in Liberalism, wit, in high + sentiment, expenditure and debauchery, greatly to the admiration of some + persons; and at length rushed desperate upon the Frenoh, and found his + quietus (10th October, 1806), four days before the Battle of Jena. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter II. — A KAISER HUNTING SHADOWS. + </h2> + <p> + Treaty of Double-Marriage is ready for signing, once the needful + Parliamentary preludings are gone through; Treaty is signed, thinks + Wilhelmina,—forgetting the distance between cup and lip!—As to + signing, or even to burning, and giving up the thought of signing, alas, + how far are we yet from that! Imperial spectre-huntings and the politics + of most European Cabinets will connect themselves with that; and send it + wandering wide enough,—lost in such a jungle of intrigues, + pettifoggings, treacheries, diplomacies domestic and foreign, as the + course of true-love never got entangled in before. + </p> + <p> + The whole of which extensive Cabinet operations, covering square miles of + paper at this moment,—having nevertheless, after ten years of + effort, ended in absolute zero,—were of no worth even to the + managers of them; and are of less than none to any mortal now or + henceforth. So that the method of treating them becomes a problem to + History. To pitch them utterly out of window, and out of memory, never to + be mentioned in human speech again: this is the manifest prompting of + Nature;—and this, were not our poor Crown-Prince and one or two + others involved in them, would be our ready and thrice-joyful course. + Surely the so-called "Politics of Europe" in that day are a thing this + Editor would otherwise with his whole soul, forget to all eternity! + "Putrid fermentation," ending, after the endurance of much mal-odor, in + mere zero to you and to every one, even to the rotting bodies themselves:—is + there any wise Editor that would connect himself with that? These are the + fields of History which are to be, so soon as humanly possible, + SUPPRESSED; which only Mephistopheles, or the bad Genius of Mankind, can + contemplate with pleasure. + </p> + <p> + Let us strive to touch lightly the chief summits, here and there, of that + intricate, most empty, mournful Business,—which was really once a + Fact in practical Europe, not the mere nightmare of an Attorney's Dream;—and + indicate, so far as indispensable, how the young Friedrich, Friedrich's + Sister, Father, Mother, were tribulated, almost heart-broken and done to + death, by means of it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IMPERIAL MAJESTY ON THE TREATY OF UTRECHT. + </h2> + <p> + Kaiser Karl VI., head of the Holy Romish Empire at this time, was a + handsome man to look upon; whose life, full of expense, vicissitude, + futile labor and adventure, did not prove of much use to the world. + Describable as a laborious futility rather. He was second son of that + little Leopold, the solemn little Herr in red stockings, who had such + troubles, frights, and runnings to and fro with the sieging Turks, + liberative Sobieskis, acquisitive Louis Fourteenths; and who at length + ended in a sea of futile labor, which they call the Spanish Succession + War. + </p> + <p> + This Karl, second son, had been appointed "King of Spain" in that futile + business; and with much sublimity, though internally in an impoverished + condition, he proceeded towards Spain, landing in England to get cash for + the outfit;—arrived in Spain; and roved about there as Titular-King + for some years, with the fighting Peterboroughs, Galways, Stahrembergs; + but did no good there, neither he nor his Peterboroughs. At length, his + Brother Joseph, Father Leopold's successor, having died, [17th April, + 1711.] Karl came home from Spain to be Kaiser. At which point, Karl would + have been wise to give up his Titular Kingship in Spain; for he never got, + nor will get, anything but futile labor from hanging to it. He did hang to + it nevertheless; and still, at this date of George's visit and long + afterwards, hangs,—with notable obstinacy. To the woe of men and + nations: punishment doubtless of his sins and theirs!— + </p> + <p> + Kaiser Karl shrieked mere amazement and indignation, when the English + tired of fighting for him and it. When the English said to their great + Marlborough: "Enough, you sorry Marlborough! You have beaten Louis XIV. to + the suppleness of wash-leather, at our bidding; that is true, and that may + have had its difficulties: but, after all, we prefer to have the thing + precisely as it would have been without any fighting. You, therefore, what + is the good of you? You are a—person whom we fling out like + sweepings, now that our eyesight returns, and accuse of common stealing. + Go and be—!" + </p> + <p> + Nothing ever had so disgusted and astonished Kaiser Karl as this + treatment,—not of Marlborough, whom he regarded only as he would + have done a pair of military boots or a holster-pistol of superior + excellence, for the uses that were in him,—but of the Kaiser Karl + his own sublime self, the heart and focus of Political Nature; left in + this manner, now when the sordid English and Dutch declined spending blood + and money for him farther. "Ungrateful, sordid, inconceivable souls," + answered Karl, "was there ever, since the early Christian times, such a + martyr as you have now made of me!" So answered Karl, in diplomatic groans + and shrieks, to all ends of Europe. But the sulky English and Allies, + thoroughly tired of paying and bleeding, did not heed him; made their + Peace of Utrecht [Peace of Utrecht, 11th April, 1713; Peace of Rastadt + (following upon the Preliminaries of Baden), 6th March, 1714.] with Louis + XIV., who was now beaten supple; and Karl, after a year of indignant + protests and futile attempts to fight Louis on his own score, was obliged + to do the like. He has lost the Spanish crown; but still holds by the + shadow of it; will not quit that, if he can help it. He hunts much, + digests well; is a sublime Kaiser, though internally rather poor, carrying + his head high; and seems to himself, on some sides of his life, a martyred + much-enduring man. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IMPERIAL MAJESTY HAS GOT HAPPILY WEDDED. + </h2> + <p> + Kaiser Karl, soon after the time of going to Spain had decided that a Wife + would be necessary. He applied to Caroline of Anspach, now English + Princess of Wales, but at that time an orphaned Brandenburg-Anspach + Princess, very Beautiful, graceful, gifted, and altogether unprovided for; + living at Berlin under the guardianship of Friedrich the first King. Her + young Mother had married again,—high enough match (to Kur-Sachsen, + elder Brother of August the Strong, August at that time without prospects + of the Electorate);—but it lasted short while: Caroline's Mother and + Saxon Stepfather were both now, long since, dead. So she lived at Berlin + brilliant though unportioned;—with the rough cub Friedrich Wilhelm + much following her about, and passionately loyal to her, as the Beast was + to Beauty; whom she did not mind except as a cub loyal to her; being five + years older than he. [Forster, i. 107.] Indigent bright Caroline, a young + lady of fine aquiline features and spirit, was applied for to be Queen of + Spain; wooer a handsome man, who might even be Kaiser by and by. Indigent + bright Caroline at once answered, No. She was never very orthodox in + Protestant theology; but could not think of taking up Papistry for lucre's + and ambition's sake: be that always remembered on Caroline's behalf. + </p> + <p> + The Spanish Majesty next applied at Brunswick Wolfenbuttel; no lack of + Princesses there: Princesa Elizabeth, for instance; Protestant she too, + but perhaps not so squeamish? Old Anton Ulrich, whom some readers know for + the idle Books, long-winded Novels chiefly, which he wrote, was the + Grandfather of this favored Princess; a good-natured old gentleman, of the + idle ornamental species, in whose head most things, it is likely, were + reduced to vocables, scribble and sentimentality; and only a steady + internal gravitation towards praise and pudding was traceable as very real + in him. Anton Ulrich, affronted more or less by the immense advancement of + Gentleman Ernst and the Hanoverian or YOUNGER Brunswick Line, was + extremely glad of the Imperial offer; and persuaded his timid + Grand-daughter, ambitious too, but rather conscience-stricken, That the + change from Protestant to Catholic, the essentials being so perfectly + identical in both, was a mere trifle; that he himself, old as he was, + would readily change along with her, so easy was it. Whereupon the young + Lady made the big leap; abjured her religion; [1st May, 1707, at Bamberg.]—went + to Spain as Queen (with sad injury to her complexion, but otherwise + successfully more or less);—and sits now as Empress beside her Karl + VI. in a grand enough, probably rather dull, but not singularly unhappy + manner. + </p> + <p> + She, a Brunswick Princess, with Nephews and Nieces who may concern us, is + Kaiserinn to Kaiser Karl: for aught I know of her, a kindly simple Wife, + and unexceptionable Sovereign Majesty, of the sort wanted; whom let us + remember, if we meet her again one day. I add only of this poor Lady, + distinguished to me by a Daughter she had, that her mind still had some + misgivings about the big leap she had made in the Protestant-Papist way. + Finding Anton Ulrich still continue Protestant, she wrote to him out of + Spain:—"Why, O honored Grandpapa, have you not done as you promised? + Ah, there must be a taint of mortal sin in it, after all!" Upon which the + absurdly situated old Gentleman did change his religion; and is marked as + a Convert in all manner of Genealogies and Histories;—truly an old + literary gentleman ducal and serene, restored to the bosom of the Church + in a somewhat peculiarly ridiculous manner. [Michaelis, i. 131.]—But + to return. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TERMAGANT OF SPAIN. + </h2> + <p> + Ever after the Peace of Utrecht, when England and Holland declined to + bleed for him farther, especially ever since his own Peace of Rastadt made + with Louis the year after Kaiser Karl had utterly lost hold of the Crown + of Spain; and had not the least chance to clutch that bright substance + again. But he held by the shadow of it, with a deadly Hapsburg tenacity; + refused for twenty years, under all pressures, to part with the shadow: + "The Spanish Hapsburg Branch is dead; whereupon do not I, of the Austrian + Branch, sole representative of Kaiser Karl the Fifth, claim, by the law of + Heaven, whatever he possessed in Spain, by law of ditto? Battles of + Blenheim of Malplaquet, Court-intrigues of Mrs. Masham and the Duchess: + these may bring Treaties of Utrecht, and what you are pleased to call laws + of Earth;—but a Hapsburg Kaiser knows higher laws, if you would do a + thousand Utrechts; and by these, Spain is his!" + </p> + <p> + Poor Kaiser Karl: he had a high thought in him really though a most + misguided one. Titular King of Men; but much bewildered into mere indolent + fatuity, inane solemnity, high sniffing pride grounded on nothing at all; + a Kaiser much sunk in the sediments of his muddy Epoch. Sure enough, he + was a proud lofty solemn Kaiser, infinitely the gentleman in air and + humor; Spanish gravities, ceremonials, reticences;—and could, in a + better scene, have distinguished himself by better than mere statuesque + immovability of posture, dignified endurance of ennui, and Hapsburg + tenacity in holding the grip. It was not till 1735, after tusslings and + wrenchings beyond calculation, that he would consent to quit the Shadow of + the Crown of Spain; and let Europe BE at peace on that score. + </p> + <p> + The essence of what is called the European History of this Period, such + History as a Period sunk dead in spirit, and alive only in stomach, can + have, turns all on Kaiser Karl, and these his clutchings at shadows. Which + makes a very sad, surprising History indeed; more worthy to be called + Phenomena of Putrid Fermentation, than Struggles of Human Heroism to + vindicate itself in this Planet, which latter alone are worthy of + recording as "History" by mankind. + </p> + <p> + On the throne of Spain, beside Philip V. the melancholic new Bourbon, + Louis XIV.'s Grandson, sat Elizabeth Farnese, a termagant tenacious woman, + whose ambitious cupidities were not inferior in obstinacy to Kaiser + Karl's, and proved not quite so shadowy as his. Elizabeth also wanted + several things: renunciation of your (Kaiser Karl's) shadowy claims; nay + of sundry real usurpations you and your Treaties have made on the actual + possessions of Spain,—Kingdom of Sicily, for instance; Netherlands, + for instance; Gibraltar, for instance. But there is one thing which, we + observe, is indispensable throughout to Elizabeth Farnese: the future + settlement of her dear Boy Carlos. Carlos, whom as Spanish Philip's second + Wife she had given to Spain and the world, as Second or supplementary + INFANT there,—a troublesome gift to Spain and others. + </p> + <p> + "This dear Boy, surely he must have his Italian Apanages, which, you have + provided for him: Duchies of Parma and Piacenza, which will fall heirless + soon. Security for these Italian Apanages, such as will satisfy a Mother: + Let us introduce Spanish garrisons into Parma and Piacenza at once! How + else can we be certain of getting those indispensable Apanages, when they + fall vacant?" On this point Elizabeth Farnese was positive, maternally + vehement; would take no subterfuge, denial or delay: "Let me perceive that + I shall have these Duchies: that, first of all; or else not that only, but + numerous other things will be demanded of you!" + </p> + <p> + Upon which point the Kaiser too, who loved his Duchies, and hoped yet to + keep them by some turn of the game, never could decide to comply. + Whereupon Elizabeth grew more and more termagant; listened to wild + counsels; took up an Alberoni, a Ripperda, any wandering diplomatic + bull-dog that offered; and let them loose upon the Kaiser and her other + gainsayers. To the terror of mankind, lest universal war should supervene. + She held the Kaiser well at bay, mankind well in panic; and continually + there came on all Europe, for about twenty years, a terror that war was + just about to break out, and the whole world to take fire. The History so + called of Europe went canting from side to side; heeling at a huge rate, + according to the passes and lunges these two giant figures, Imperial + Majesty and the Termagant of Spain, made at one another,—for a + twenty years or more, till once the duel was decided between them. + </p> + <p> + There came next to no war, after all; sputterings of war twice over,—1718, + Byng at Messina, as we saw; and then, in 1727, a second sputter, as we are + to see:—but the neighbors always ran with buckets, and got it + quenched. No war to speak of; but such negotiating, diplomatizing, + universal hope, universal fear, and infinite ado about nothing, as were + seldom heard of before. For except Friedrich Wilhelm drilling his 50,000 + soldiers (80,000 gradually, and gradually even twice that number), I see + no Crowned Head in Europe that is not, with immeasurable apparatus, simply + doing ZERO. Alas, in an age of universal infidelity to Heaven, where the + Heavenly Sun has SUNK, there occur strange Spectre-huntings. Which is a + fact worth laying to heart.—Duel of Twenty Years with Elizabeth + Farnese, about the eventualities of Parma and Piacensa, and the Shadow of + the lost Crown of Spain; this was the first grand Spectrality of Kaiser + Karl's existence; but this was not the whole of them. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S PRAGMATIC SANCTION. + </h2> + <p> + Kaiser Karl meanwhile was rather short of heirs; which formed another of + his real troubles, and involved him in much shadow-hunting. His Wife, the + Serene Brunswick Empress whom we spoke of above, did at length bring him + children, brought him a boy even; but the boy died within the year; and, + on the whole, there remained nothing but two Daughters; Maria Theresa the + elder of them, born 1717,—the prettiest little maiden in the world;—no + son to inherit Kaiser Karl. Under which circumstances Kaiser Karl produced + now, in the Year 1724, a Document which he had executed privately as long + ago as 1713, only his Privy Councillors and other Official witnesses + knowing of it then; [19th April, 1713 (Stenzel, iii. 5222).] and solemnly + publishes it to the world, as a thing all men are to take notice of. All + men had notice enough of this Imperial bit of Sheepskin, before they got + done with it, five-and-twenty years hence. [Peace of Aix-la-Chapelle, + 1748.] A very famous Pragmatic Sanction; now published for the world's + comfort! + </p> + <p> + By which Document, Kaiser Karl had formally settled, and fixed according + to the power he has, in the shape of what they call a Pragmatic Sanction, + or unalterable Ordinance in his Imperial House, "That, failing Heirs-male, + his Daughters, his Eldest Daughter, should succeed him; failing Daughters, + his Nieces; and in short, that Heirs-female ranking from their kinship to + Kaiser Karl, and not to any prior Kaiser, should be as good as Heirs-male + of Karl's body would have been." A Pragmatic Sanction is the high name he + gives this document, or the Act it represents; "Pragmatic Sanction" being, + in the Imperial Chancery and some others, the received title for + Ordinances of a very irrevocable nature, which a sovereign makes, in + affairs that belong wholly to himself, or what he reckons his own rights. + [A rare kind of Deed, it would seem; and all the more solemn. In 1438, + Charles VI. of France, conceding the Gallican Church its Liberties, does, + it by "SANCTION PRAGMATIQUE;" Carlos III. of Spain (in 1759, "settling the + Kingdom of the Two Sicilies on his third son") does the like,—which + is the last instance of "PRAGMATIC SANCTION" in this world.] + </p> + <p> + This Pragmatic Sanction of Kaiser Karl's, executed 19th April, 1713, was + promulgated, "gradually," now here now there, from 1720 to 1724, [Stenzel, + pp. 522, 523.]—in which later year it became universally public; and + was transmitted to all Courts and Sovereignties, as an unalterable law of + Things Imperial. Thereby the good man hopes his beautiful little Theresa, + now seven years old, may succeed him, all as a son would have done, in the + Austrian States and Dignities; and incalculable damages, wars, and chances + of war, be prevented, for his House and for all the world. + </p> + <p> + The world, incredulous of to-morrow, in its lazy way, was not sufficiently + attentive to this new law of things. Some who were personally interested, + as the Saxon Sovereignty, and the Bavarian, denied that it was just: + reminded Kaiser-Karl that he was not the Noah or Adam of Kaisers; and that + the case of Heirs-female was not quite a new idea on sheepskin. No; there + are older Pragmatic Sanctions and settlements, by prior Kaisers of blessed + memory; under which, if Daughters are to come in, we, descended from + Imperial Daughters of older standing, shall have a word to say!—To + this Kaiser Karl answers steadily, with endless argument, That every + Kaiser is a Patriarch, and First Man, in such matters; and that so it has + been pragmatically sanctioned by him, and that so it shall and must + irrevocably be. To the other Powers, and indolent impartial Sovereigns of + the world, he was lavish in embassies; in ardent representations; and + spared no pains in convincing them that to-morrow would surely come, and + that then it would be a blessedness to have accepted this Pragmatic + Sanction, and see it lying for you as a Law of Nature to go by, and avoid + incalculable controversies. + </p> + <p> + This was another vast Shadow, or confused high-piled continent of shadows, + to which our poor Kaiser held with his customary tenacity. To procure + adherences and assurances to this dear Pragmatic Sanction, was, even more + than the shadow of the Spanish Crown, and above all after he had quitted + that, the one grand business of his Life henceforth. With which he kept + all Europe in perpetual travail and diplomacy; raying out ambassadors, and + less ostensible agents, with bribes, and with entreaties and proposals, + into every high Sovereign Court and every low; negotiating unweariedly by + all methods, with all men. For it was his evening-song and his + morning-prayer; the grand meaning of Life to him, till Life ended. You + would have said, the first question he asks of every creature is, "Will + you covenant for my Pragmatic Sanction with me? Oh, agree to it; accept + that new Law of Nature: when the morrow comes, it will be salutary for + you!" + </p> + <p> + Most of the Foreign Potentates idly accepted the thing,—as things of + a distant contingent kind are accepted;—made Treaty on it, since the + Kaiser seemed so extremely anxious. Only Bavaria, having heritable claims, + never would. Saxony too (August the Strong), being in the like case, or a + better, flatly refused for a long time; would not, at all,—except + for a consideration. Bright little Prince Eugene, who dictated square + miles of Letters and DIplomacies on the subject (Letters of a steady depth + of dulness, which at last grows almost sublime), was wont to tell his + Majesty: "Treatying, your Majesty? A well-trained Army and a full + Treasury; that is the only Treaty that will make this Pragmatic Sanction + valid!" But his Majesty never would believe. So the bright old Eugene + dictated,—or, we hope and guess, he only gave his clerks some + key-word, and signed his name (in three languages, "Eugenio von Savoye") + to these square miles of dull epistolary matter,—probably taking + Spanish snuff when he had done. For he wears it in both waistcoat-pockets;—has + (as his Portraits still tell us) given up breathing by the nose. The + bright little soul, with a flash in him as of Heaven's own lightning; but + now growing very old and snuffy. + </p> + <p> + Shadow of Pragmatic Sanction, shadow of the Spanish Crown,—it was + such shadow-huntings of the Kaiser in Vienna, it was this of the Pragmatic + Sanction most of all, that thwarted our Prussian Double-Marriage, which + lay so far away from it. This it was that pretty nearly broke the hearts + of Friedrich, Wilhelmina, and their Mother and Father. For there never was + such negotiating; not for admittance to the Kingdom of Heaven, in the + pious times. And the open goings-forth of it, still more the secret + minings and mole-courses of it, were into all places. Above ground and + below, no Sovereign mortal could say he was safe from it, let him agree or + not. Friedrich Wilhelm had cheerfully, and with all his heart, agreed to + the Pragmatic Sanction; this above ground, in sight of the sun; and rashly + fancied he had then done with it. Till, to his horror, he found the + Imperial moles, by way of keeping assurance doubly sure, had been under + the foundations of his very house for long years past, and had all but + brought it down about him in the most hideous manner!— + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + THIRD SHADOW: IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S OSTEND COMPANY. + </h2> + <p> + Another object which Kaiser Karl pursued with some diligence in these + times, and which likewise proved a shadow, much disturbance as it gave + mankind, was his "Ostend East-India Company." The Kaiser had seen + impoverished Spain, rich England, rich Holland; he had taken up a + creditable notion about commerce and its advantages. He said to himself, + Why should not my Netherlands trade to the East, as well as these English + and Dutch, and grow opulent like them? He instituted (OCTROYA) an "Ostend + East-India Company," under due Patents and Imperial Sheepskins, of date + 17th December, 1722, [Buchholz, i. 88; Pfeffel, <i>Abrege Chronologique de + l'Histoire d'Allemagne</i> (Park, 1776), ii. 522.] gave it what freedom he + could to trade to the East. "Impossible!" answered the Dutch, with + distraction in their aspect; "Impossible, we say; contrary to Treaty of + Westphalia, to Utrecht, to Barrier Treaty; and destructive to the best + interests of mankind, especially to us and our trade-profits! We shall + have to capture your ships, if you ever send any." + </p> + <p> + To which the Kaiser counterpleaded, earnestly, diligently, for the space + of seven years,—to no effect. "We will capture your ships if you + ever send any," answered the Dutch and English. What ships ever could have + been sent from Ostend to the East, or what ill they could have done there, + remains a mystery, owing to the monopolizing Maritime Powers. + </p> + <p> + The Kaiser's laudable zeal for commerce had to expend itself in his + Adriatic Territories,—giving privileges to the Ports of Trieste and + Fiume; [Hormayr, <i>OEsterreichischer Plutarch,</i> x. 101.] making roads + through the Dalmatian Hill-Countries, which are useful to this day;—but + could not operate on the Netherlands in the way proposed. The Kaiser's + Imperial Ostend East-India Company, which convulsed the Diplomatic mind + for seven years to come, and made Europe lurch from side to side in a + terrific manner, proved a mere paper Company; never sent any ships, only + produced Diplomacies, and "had the honor to be." This was the third grand + Shadow which the Kaiser chased, shaking all the world, poor crank world, + as he strode after it; and this also ended in zero, and several tons of + diplomatic correspondence, carried once by breathless estaffettes, and now + silent, gravitating towards Acheron all of them, and interesting to the + spiders only. + </p> + <p> + Poor good Kaiser: they say he was a humane stately gentleman, stately + though shortish; fond of pardoning criminals where he could; very polite + to Muratori and the Antiquaries, even to English Rymer, in opening his + Archives to them,—and made roads in the Dalmatian Hill-Country, + which remain to this day. I do not wonder he grew more and more saturnine, + and addicted to solid taciturn field-sports. His Political "Perforce-Hunt + (PARFORCE JAGD)," with so many two-footed terriers, and legationary + beagles, distressing all the world by their baying and their burrowing, + had proved to be of Shadows; and melted into thin air, to a very singular + degree! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter III. — THE SEVEN CRISES OR EUROPEAN TRAVAIL-THROES. + </h2> + <p> + In process of this so terrific Duel with Elizabeth Farnese, and general + combat of the Shadows, which then made Europe quake, at every new lunge + and pass of it, and which now makes Europe yawn to hear the least mention + of it, there came two sputterings of actual War. Byng's sea-victory at + Messina, 1718; Spanish "Siege of Gibraltar," 1727, are the main phenomena + of these two Wars,—England, as its wont is, taking a shot in both, + though it has now forgotten both. And, on the whole, there came, so far as + I can count, Seven grand diplomatic Spasms or Crises,—desperate + general European Treatyings hither and then thither, solemn Congresses two + of them, with endless supplementary adhesions by the minor powers. Seven + grand mother-treaties, not to mention the daughters, or supplementary + adhesions they had; all Europe rising spasmodically seven times, and doing + its very uttermost to quell this terrible incubus; all Europe changing + color seven times, like a lobster boiling, for twenty years. Seven + diplomatic Crises, we say, marked changings of color in the long-suffering + lobster; and two so-called Wars,—before this enormous zero could be + settled. Which high Treaties and Transactions, human nature, after much + study of them, grudges to enumerate. Apanage for Baby Carlos, ghost of a + Pragmatic Sanction; these were a pair of causes for mankind! Be no word + spoken of them, except with regret and on evident compulsion. + </p> + <p> + For the reader's convenience we must note the salient points; but grudge + to do it. Salient points, now mostly wrapt in Orcus, and terrestrially + interesting only to the spiders,—except on an occasion of this kind, + when part of them happens to stick to the history of a memorable man, To + us they are mere bubblings-up of the general putrid fermentation of the + then Political World; and are too unlovely to be dwelt on longer than + indispensable. Triple Alliance, Quadruple Alliance, Congress of Cambrai, + Congress of Soissons; Conference of Pardo, Treaty of Hanover, Treaty of + Wusterhausen, what are they? Echo answers, What? Ripperda and the Queen of + Spain, Kaiser Karl and his Pragmatic Sanction, are fallen dim to every + mind. The Troubles of Thorn (sad enough Papist-Protestant tragedy in their + time),—who now cares to know of them? It is much if we find a + hearing for the poor Salzburg Emigrants when they get into Preussen + itself. Afflicted human nature ought to be, at last, delivered from the + palpably superfluous; and if a few things memorable are to be remembered, + millions of things unmemorable must first be honestly buried and + forgotten! But to our affair,—that of marking the chief bubblings-up + in the above-said Universal Putrid Fermentation, so far as they concern + us. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI. + </h2> + <p> + We already saw Byng sea fighting in the Straits of Messina; that was part + of Crisis Second,—sequel, in powder-and-ball, of Crisis First, which + had been in paper till then. The Powers had interfered, by Triple, by + Quadruple Alliance, to quench the Spanish-Austrian Duel (about Apanage for + Baby Carlos, and a quantity of other Shadows): "Triple Alliance" [4th + January, 1717.] was, we may say, when France, England, Holland laboriously + sorted out terms of agreement between Kaiser and Termagant: "Quadruple" + [18th July, 1718.] was when Kaiser, after much coaxing, acceded, as fourth + party; and said gloomily, "Yes, then." Byng's Sea-fight was when Termagant + said, "No, by—the Plots of Alberoni! Never will I, for my part, + accede to such terms!" and attacked the poor Kaiser in his Sicilies and + elsewhere. Byng's Sea-fight, in aid of a suffering Kaiser and his + Sicilies, in consequence. Furthermore, the French invaded Spain, till + Messina were retaken; nay the English, by land too, made a dash at Spain, + "Descent on Vigo" as they call it,—in reference to which take the + following stray Note:— + </p> + <p> + "That same year [1719, year after Byng's Sea-fight, Messina just about + recaptured], there took effect, planned by the vigorous Colonel Stanhope, + our Minister at Madrid, who took personal share in the thing, a 'Descent + on Vigo,' sudden swoop-down upon Town and shipping in those Gallician, + north-west regions. Which was perfectly successful,—Lord Cobham + leading;—and made much noise among mankind. Filled all Gazettes at + that time;—but now, again, is all fallen silent for us,—except + this one thrice-insignificant point, That there was in it, 'in Handyside's + Regiment,' a Lieutenant of Foot, by name STERNE, who had left, with his + poor Wife at Plymouth, a very remarkable Boy called Lorry, or LAWRENCE; + known since that to all mankind. When Lorry in his LIFE writes, 'my Father + went on the Vigo expedition,' readers may understand this was it. Strange + enough: that poor Lieutenant of Foot is now pretty much all that is left + of this sublime enterprise upon Vigo, in the memory of mankind;—hanging + there, as if by a single hair, till poor TRISTRAM SHANDY be forgotten + too." [<i>Memoirs of Laurence Sterne, written by himself for his Daughter + (see Annual Register,</i> Year 1775, pp. 50-52).] + </p> + <p> + In short, the French and even the English invaded Spain; English Byng and + others sank Spanish ships: Termagant was obliged to pack away her + Alberoni, and give in. She had to accede to "Quadruple Alliance," after + all; making it, so to speak, a Quintuple one; making Peace, in fact, [17th + February, 1720.]—general Congress to be held at Cambrai and settle + the details. + </p> + <p> + Congress of Cambrai met accordingly; in 1722,—"in the course of the + year," Delegates slowly raining in,—date not fixable to a day or + month. Congress was "sat," as we said,—or, alas, was only still + endeavoring to get seated, and wandering about among the chairs,—when + George I. came to Charlottenburg that evening, October, 1723, and surveyed + Wilhelmina with a candle. More inane Congress never met in this world, nor + will meet. Settlement proved so difficult; all the more, as neither of the + quarrelling parties wished it. Kaiser and Termagant, fallen as if + exhausted, had not the least disposition to agree; lay diplomatically + gnashing their teeth at one another, ready to fight again should strength + return. Difficult for third parties to settle on behalf of such a pair. + Nay at length the Kaiser's Ostend Company came to light: what will third + parties, Dutch and English especially, make of that? + </p> + <p> + This poor Congress—-let the reader fancy it—spent two years in + "arguments about precedencies," in mere beatings of the air; could not get + seated at all, but wandered among the chairs, till "February, 1724." Nor + did it manage to accomplish any work whatever, even then; the most inane + of Human Congresses; and memorable on that account, if on no other. There, + in old stagnant Cambrai, through the third year and into the fourth, were + Delegates, Spanish, Austrian, English, Dutch, French, of solemn outfit, + with a big tail to each,—"Lord Whitworth" whom I do not know, "Lord + Polwarth" (Earl of Marchmont that will be, a friend of Pope's), were the + English Principals: [Scholl, ii. 197.]—there, for about four years, + were these poor fellow-creatures busied, baling out water with sieves. + Seen through the Horn-Gate of Dreams, the figure of them rises almost + grand on the mind. + </p> + <p> + A certain bright young Frenchman, Francois Arouet,—spoiled for a + solid law-career, but whose OEDIPE we saw triumphing in the Theatres, and + who will, under the new name of VOLTAIRE, become very memorable to us,—happened + to be running towards Holland that way, one of his many journeys + thitherward; and actually saw this Congress, then in the first year of its + existence. Saw it, probably dined with it. A Letter of his still extant, + not yet fallen to the spiders, as so much else has done, testifies to this + fact. Let us read part of it, the less despicable part,—as a Piece + supremely insignificant, yet now in a manner the one surviving Document of + this extraordinary Congress; Congress's own works and history having all + otherwise fallen to the spiders forever. The Letter is addressed to + Cardinal Dubois;—for Dubois, "with the face like a goat," [Herzogin + von Orleans, BRIEFE.] yet lived (first year of this Congress); and Regent + d'Orleans lived, intensely interested here as third party:—and a + goat-faced Cardinal, once pimp and lackey, ugliest of created souls, + Archbishop of this same Cambrai "by Divine permission" and favor of + Beelzebub, was capable of promoting a young fellow if he chose:— + </p> + <p> + "TO HIS EMINENCE CARDINAL DUBOIS (from Arouet Junior). + </p> + <p> + "CAMBRAI, July, 1722. + </p> + <p> + "... We are just arrived in your City, Monseigneur; where, I think, all + the Ambassadors and all the Cooks in Europe have given one another + rendezvous. It seems as if all the Ministers of Germany had assembled here + for the purpose of getting their Emperor's health drunk. As to Messieurs + the Ambassadors of Spain, one of them hears two masses a day, and the + other manages the troop of players. The English Ministers [a LORD POLWARTH + and a LORD WHITWORTH] send many couriers to Champagne, and few to London. + For the rest, nobody expects your Eminence here; it is not thought you + will quit the Palais-Royal to visit the sheep of your flock in these parts + [no!], it would be too bad for your Eminence and for us all.... Think + sometimes, Monseigneur, of a man who [regards your goat-faced Eminence as + a beautiful ingenious creature; and such a hand in conversation as never + was]. The one thing I will ask [of your goat-faced Eminence] at Paris will + be, to have the goodness to talk to me." [<i>OEuvres de Voltaire,</i> 97 + vols. (Paris, 1825-1834), lxviii. 95, 96.] + </p> + <p> + Alas, alas!—The more despicable portions of this Letter we omit, as + they are not history of the Congress, but of Arouet Junior on the shady + side. So much will testify that this Congress did exist; that its + wiggeries and it were not always, what they now are, part of a + nightmare-vision in Human History.— + </p> + <p> + Elizabeth Farnese, seeing at what rate the Congress of Cambrai sped, lost + all patience with it; and getting more and more exasperations there, at + length employed one Ripperda, a surprising Dutch Black-Artist whom she now + had for Minister, to pull the floor from beneath it (so to speak), and + send it home in that manner. Which Ripperda did. An appropriate enough + catastrophe, comfortable to the reader; upon which perhaps he will not + grudge to read still another word? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI GETS THE FLOOR PULLED FROM UNDER IT. + </h2> + <p> + Termagant Elizabeth had now one Ripperda for Minister; a surprising Dutch + adventurer, once secretary of some Dutch embassy at Madrid; who, + discerning how the land lay, had broken loose from that subaltern career, + had changed his religion, insinuated himself into Elizabeth's royal favor; + and was now "Duke de Ripperda," and a diplomatic bull-dog of the first + quality, full of mighty schemes and hopes; in brief, a new Alberoni to the + Termagant Queen. This Ripperda had persuaded her (the third year of our + inane Congress now running out, to no purpose), That he, if he were sent + direct to Vienna, could reconcile the Kaiser to her Majesty, and bring + them to Treaty, independently of Congresses. He was sent accordingly, in + all privacy; had reported himself as laboring there, with the best + outlooks, for some while past; when, still early in 1725, there occurred + on the part of France,—where Regent d'Orleans was now dead, and new + politics bad come in vogue,—that "sending back," of the poor little + Spanish: Infanta, ["5th April, 1725, quitted Paris" (Barbier, <i>Journal + du Regne de Louis XV.,</i> i. 218).] and marrying of young Louis XV. + elsewhere, which drove Elizabeth and the Court of Spain, not unnaturally, + into a very delirium of indignation. + </p> + <p> + Why they sent the poor little Lady home on those shocking terms? It seems + there was no particular reason, except that French Louis was now about + fifteen, and little Spanish Theresa was only eight; and that, under Duc de + Bourbon, the new Premier, and none of the wisest, there was, express or + implicit, "an ardent wish to see royal progeny secured." For which, of + course, a wife of eight years would not answer. So she was returned; and + even in a blundering way, it is said,—the French Ambassador at + Madrid having prefaced his communication, not with light adroit preludings + of speech, but with a tempest of tears and howling lamentations, as if + that were the way to conciliate King Philip and his Termagant Elizabeth. + Transport of indignation was the natural consequence on their part; order + to every Frenchman to be across the border within, say eight-and-forty + hours; rejection forever of all French mediation at Cambrai or elsewhere; + question to the English, "Will you mediate for us, then?" To which the + answer being merely "Hm!" with looks of delay,—order by express to + Ripperda, to make straightway a bargain with the Kaiser; almost any + bargain, so it were made at once. Ripperda made a bargain: Treaty of + Vienna, 30th April, 1725: [Scholl, ii. 201; Coxe, <i>Walpole,</i> i. + 239-250.] "Titles and Shadows each of us shall keep for his own lifetime, + then they shall drop. As to realities again, to Parma and Piacenza among + the rest, let these be as in the Treaty of Utrecht; arrangeable in the + lump;—and indeed, of Parma and Piacenza perhaps the less we say, the + better at present." This was, in substance, Ripperda's Treaty; the Third + great European travail-throe, or change of color in the long-suffering + lobster. Whereby, of course, the Congress of Cambrai did straightway + disappear, the floor miraculously vanishing under it; and sinks—far + below human eye-reach by this time—towards the Bottomless Pool, ever + since. Such was the beginning, such the end of that Congress, which Arouet + LE JEUNE, in 1722, saw as a contemporary Fact, drinking champagne in + Ramillies wigs, and arranging comedies for itself. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + FRANCE AND THE BRITANNIC MAJESTY TRIM THE SHIP AGAIN: HOW FRIEDRICH + WILHELM CAME INTO IT. TREATY OF HANOVER, 1725. + </h2> + <p> + The publication of this Treaty of Vienna (30th April, 1725),—miraculous + disappearance of the Congress of Cambrai by withdrawal of the floor from + under it, and close union of the Courts of Spain and Vienna as the outcome + of its slow labors,—filled Europe, and chiefly the late mediating + Powers, with amazement, anger, terror. Made Europe lurch suddenly to the + other side, as we phrased it,—other gunwale now under water. + Wherefore, in Heaven's name, trim your ship again, if possible, ye high + mediating Powers. This the mediating Powers were laudably alert to do. Duc + de Bourbon, and his young King about to marry, were of pacific tendencies; + anxious for the Balance: still more was Fleury, who succeeded Duc de + Bourbon. Cardinal Fleury (with his pupil Louis XV. under him, producing + royal progeny and nothing worse or better as yet) began, next year, his + long supremacy in France; an aged reverend gentleman, of sly, delicately + cunning ways, and disliking war, as George I. did, unless when forced on + him: now and henceforth, no mediating power more anxious than France to + have the ship in trim. + </p> + <p> + George and Bourbon laid their heads together, deeply pondering this little + less than awful state of the Terrestrial Balance; and in about six months + they, in their quiet way, suddenly came out with a Fourth Crisis on the + astonished populations, so as to right the ship's trim again, and more. + "Treaty of Hanover," this was their unexpected manoeuvre; done quietly at + Herrenhausen, when his Majesty next went across for the Hanover + hunting-season. Mere hunting:—but the diplomatists, as well as the + beagles, were all in readiness there. Even Friedrich Wilhelm, ostensibly + intent on hunting, was come over thither, his abstruse Ilgens, with their + inkhorns, escorting him: Friedrich Wilhelm, hunting in unexpected sort, + was persuaded to sign this Treaty; which makes it unusually interesting to + us. An exceptional procedure on the part of Friedrich Wilhelm, who beyond + all Sovereigns stays well at home, careless of affairs that are not his:—procedure + betokening cordiality at Hanover; and of good omen for the + Double-Marriage? + </p> + <p> + Yes, surely;—and yet something more, on Friedrich Wilhelm's part. + His rights on the Cleve-Julich Countries; reversion of Julich and Berg, + once Karl Philip shall decease:—perhaps these high Powers, for a + consideration, will guarantee one's undoubted rights there? It is + understood they gave promises of this kind, not too specific. Nay we hear + farther a curious thing: "France and England, looking for immediate war + with the Kaiser, advised Friedrich Wilhelm to assert his rights on + Silesia." Which would have been an important procedure! Friedrich Wilhelm, + it is added, had actual thoughts of it; the Kaiser, in those matters of + the RITTER-DIENST, of the HEIDELBERG PROTESTANTS, and wherever a chance + was, had been unfriendly, little less than insulting, to Friedrich + Wilhelm: "Give me one single Hanoverian brigade, to show that you go along + with me!" said his Prussian Majesty;—but the Britannic never + altogether would. [<i>OEuvres de Frederic,</i> i. 153.] Certain it is, + Friedrich Wilhelm signed: a man with such Fighting-Apparatus as to be + important in a Hanover Treaty. "Balance of Power, they tell me, is in a + dreadful way: certainly if one can help the Balance a little, why not? But + Julich and Berg, one's own outlook of reversion there, that is the point + to be attended to:—Balance, I believe, will somehow shift for + itself!" On these principles, Friedrich Wilhelm signed, while ostensibly + hunting. [Fassmann, p. 368; Forster, <i> Urkundenbuch,</i> p. 67.] Treaty + of Hanover, which was to trim the ship again, or even to make it heel the + other way, dates itself 3d September, 1725, and is of this purport: "We + three, France, England, Prussia to stand by each other as one man, in case + any of us is attacked,—will invite Holland, Denmark, Sweden and + every pacific Sovereignty to join us in such convention,"—as they + all gradually did, had Friedrich Wilhelm but stood firm. + </p> + <p> + For it is a state of the Balances little less than awful. Rumor goes that, + by the Ripperda bargain, fatal to mankind, Don Carlos was to get the + beautiful young Maria Theresa to wife: that would settle the + Parma-Piacenza business and some others; that would be a compensation with + a witness! Spain and Austria united, as in Karl V.'s time; or perhaps some + Succession War, or worse, to fight over again!— + </p> + <p> + Fleury and George, as Duc de Bourbon and George had done, though both + pacific gentlemen, brandished weapons at the Kaiser; strongly admonishing + him to become less formidable, or it would be worse for him. Possible + indeed, in such a shadow-hunting, shadow-hunted hour! Fleury and George + stand looking with intense anxiety into a certain spectral something, + which they call the Balance of Power; no end to their exorcisms in that + matter. Truly, if each of the Royal Majesties and Serene Highnesses would + attend to his own affairs,—doing his utmost to better his own land + and people, in earthly and in heavenly respects, a little,—he would + find it infinitely profitabler for himself and others. And the Balance of + Power would settle, in that case, as the laws of gravity ordered: which is + its one method of settling, after all diplomacy!—Fleury and George, + by their manifestoing, still more by their levying of men, George I. + shovelling out his English subsidies as usual, created deadly qualms in + the Kaiser; who still found it unpleasant to "admit Spanish Garrisons in + Parma;" but found likewise his Termagant Friend inexorably positive on + that score; and knew not what would become of him, if he had to try + fighting, and the Sea-Powers refused him cash to do it. + </p> + <p> + Hereby was the ship trimmed, and more; ship now lurching to the other side + again. George I. goes subsidying Hessians, Danes; sounding manifestoes, + beating drums, in an alarming manner: and the Kaiser, except it were in + Russia, with the new Czarina Catherine I. (that brown little woman, now + become Czarina [8th February, 1725. Treaty with Kaiser (6th August, 1726) + went to nothing on her death, 11th May, 1727.]), finds no ally to speak + of. An unlucky, spectre-hunting, spectre-hunted Kaiser; who, amid so many + drums, manifestoes, menaces, is now rolling eyes that witness everywhere + considerable dismay. This is the Fourth grand Crisis of Europe; crisis or + travail-throe of Nature, bringing forth, and unable to do it, Baby + Carlos's Apanage and the Pragmatic Sanction. Fourth conspicuous change of + color to the universal lobster, getting itself boiled on those sad terms, + for twenty years. For its sins, we need not doubt; for its own + long-continued cowardices, sloths and greedy follies, as well as those of + Kaiser Karl!— + </p> + <p> + At this Fourth change we will gladly leave the matter, for a time; much + wishing it might be forever. Alas, as if that were possible to us! + Meanwhile, let afflicted readers, looking before and after, readier to + forget than to remember in such a case, accept this Note, or Summary of + all the Seven together, by way of help:— + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + TRAVAIL-THROES OF NATURE FOR BABY CARLOS'S ITALIAN APANAGE; SEVEN IN + NUMBER. + </h2> + <p> + 1. Triple Alliance, English, Dutch, French (4th January, 1717), saying, + "Peace, then! No Alberoni-plotting; no Duel-fighting permitted!" Same + Powers, next year, proposing Terms of Agreement; Kaiser gloomily accepting + them; which makes it Quadruple Alliance (18th July, 1718); Termagant + indignantly refusing,—with attack on the Kaiser's Sicilies. + </p> + <p> + 2. First Sputter of War; Byng's Sea-fight, and the other pressures, + compelling Termagant: Peace (26th January, 1720); Congress of Cambrai to + settle the Apanage and other points. + </p> + <p> + 3. Congress of Cambrai, a weariness to gods and men, gets the floor pulled + from under it (Ripperda's feat, 30th April, 1725); so that Kaiser and + Termagant stand ranked together, Apanage wrapt in mystery,—to the + terror of mankind. + </p> + <p> + 4. Treaty of Hanover (France, England, Prussia, 3d September, 1725) + restores the Balances, and more. War imminent. Prussia privately falls + off,—as we shall see. + </p> + <p> + [These first Four lie behind us, at this point; but there are Three others + still ahead, which we cannot hope to escape altogether; namely:] + </p> + <p> + 5. Second Sputter of War: Termagant besieges Gibraltar (4th March, 1727—6th + March, 1728): Peace at that latter date;—Congress of Soissons to + settle the Apanage and other points, as formerly. + </p> + <p> + 6. Congress of Soissons (14th June, 1728—9th November, 1729), as + formerly, cannot in the least: Termagaut whispers England;—there is + Treaty of Seville (9th November, 1729), France and England undertaking for + the Apanage. Congress vanishes; Kaiser is left solitary, with the shadow + of Pragmatic Sanction, in the night of things. Pause of an awful nature:—but + Fleury does not hasten with the Apanage, as promised. Whereupon, at + length, + </p> + <p> + 7. Treaty of Vienna (16th March, 1731): Sea-Powers, leading Termagant by + the hand, Sea-Powers and no France, unite with Kaiser again, according to + the old laws of Nature;—and Baby Carlos gets his Apanage, in due + course;—but does not rest content with it, Mamma nor he, very long! + </p> + <p> + Huge spectres and absurd bugaboos, stalking through the brain of dull + thoughtless pusillanimous mankind, do, to a terrible extent, tumble hither + and thither, and cause to lurch from side to side, their ship of state, + and all that is embarked there, BREAKFAST-TABLE, among other things. + Nevertheless, if they were only bugaboos, and mere Shadows caused by + Imperial hand-lanterns in the general Night of the world,—ought they + to be spoken of in the family, when avoidable? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter IV. — DOUBLE-MARRIAGE TREATY CANNOT BE SIGNED. + </h2> + <p> + Hitherto the world-tides, and ebbs and flows of external Politics, had, by + accident, rather forwarded, than hindered the Double-Marriage. In the rear + of such a Treaty of Hanover, triumphantly righting the European Balances + by help of Friedrich Wilhelm, one might have hoped this little domestic + Treaty would, at last, get itself signed. Queen Sophie did hasten off to + Hanover, directly after her husband had left it under those favorable + aspects: but Papa again proved unmanageable; the Treaty could not be + achieved. + </p> + <p> + Alas, and why not? Parents and Children, on both sides, being really + desirous of it, what reason is there but it should in due time come to + perfection, and, without annihilating Time and Space, make four lovers + happy? No reason. Rubs doubtless had arisen since that Visit of George I., + discordant procedures, chiefly about Friedrich Wilhelm's recruiting + operations in the Hanover territory, as shall be noted by and by: but + these the ever-wakeful enthusiasm of Queen Sophie, who had set her whole + heart with a female fixity on this Double-Marriage Project, had smoothed + down again: and now, Papa and Husband being so blessedly united in their + World Politics, why not sign the Marriage-Treaty? Honored Majesty-Papa, + why not!—"Tush, child, you do not understand. In these tremendous + circumstances, the celestial Sign of the BALANCE just about canting, and + the Obliquity of the Ecliptic like to alter, how can one think of little + marriages? Wait till the Obliquity of the Ecliptic come steadily to its + old pitch!"— + </p> + <p> + Truth is, George was in general of a slow, solemn, Spanish turn of + manners; "intolerably proud, too, since he got that English dignity," says + Wilhelmina: he seemed always tacitly to look down on Friedrich Wilhelm, as + if the Prussian Majesty were a kind of inferior clownish King in + comparison. It is certain he showed no eagerness to get the Treaty + perfected. Again and again, when specially applied to by Queen Sophie, on + Friedrich Wilhelm's order, he intimated only: "It was a fixed thing, but + not to be hurried,—English Parliaments were concerned in it, the + parties were still young," and so on;—after which brief answer he + would take you to the window, and ask, "If you did not think the + Herrenhausen Gardens and their Leibnitz waterworks, and clipped-beech + walls were rather fine?" [Pollnitz, <i> Memoiren,</i> ii. 226, 228, &c.] + </p> + <p> + In fact, the English Parliaments, from whom money was so often demanded + for our fat Improper Darlingtons, lean Improper Kendals and other royal + occasions, would naturally have to make a marriage-revenue for this fine + Grandson of ours;—Grandson Fred, who is now a young lout of, + eighteen; leading an extremely dissolute life, they say, at Hanover; and + by no means the most beautiful of mortals, either he or the foolish little + Father of him, to our old sad heart. They can wait, they can wait! said + George always. + </p> + <p> + But undoubtedly he did intend that both Marriages should take effect: only + he was slow; and the more you hurried him, perhaps the slower. He would + have perfected the Treaty "next year," say the Authorities; meant to do + so, if well let alone: but Townshend whispered withal, "Better not urge + him." Surly George was always a man of his word; no treachery intended by + him, towards Friedrich Wilhelm or any man. It is very clear, moreover, + that Friedrich Wilhelm, in this Autumn 1725, was, and was like to be, of + high importance to King George; a man not to be angered by dishonorable + treatment, had such otherwise been likely on George's part. Nevertheless + George did not sign the Treaty "next year" either,—such things + having intervened;—nor the next year after that, for reasons + tragically good on the latter occasion! + </p> + <p> + These delays about the Double-Marriage Treaty are not a pleasing feature + of it to Friedrich Wilhelm; who is very capable of being hurt by slights; + who, at any rate, dislikes to have loose thrums flying about, or that the + business of to-day should be shoved over upon to-morrow. And so Queen + Sophie has her own sore difficulties; driven thus between the Barbarians + (that is, her Husband), and the deep Sea (that is, her Father), to and + fro. Nevertheless, since all parties to the matter wished it, Sophie and + the younger parties getting even enthusiastic about it; and since the + matter itself was good, agreeable so far to Prussia and England, to + Protestant Germany and to Heaven and Earth,—might not Sophie + confidently hope to vanquish these and other difficulties; and so bring + all things to a happy close? + </p> + <p> + Had it not been for the Imperial Shadow-huntings, and this rickety + condition of the celestial Balance! Alas, the outer elements interfered + with Queen Sophie in a singular manner. Huge foreign world-movements, + springing from Vienna and a spectre-haunted Kaiser, and spreading like an + avalanche over all the Earth, snatched up this little Double-Marriage + question; tore it along with them, reeling over precipices, one knew not + whitherward, at such a rate as was seldom seen before. Scarcely in the + Minerva Press is there record of such surprising, infinite and + inextricable obstructions to a wedding or a double-wedding. Time and + space, which cannot be annihilated to make two lovers happy, were here + turned topsy-turvy, as it were, to make four lovers,—four, or at the + very least three, for Wilhelmina will not admit she was ever the least in + love, not she, poor soul, either with loose Fred or his English outlooks,—four + young creatures, and one or more elderly persons, superlatively wretched; + and even, literally enough, to do all but kill some of them. + </p> + <p> + What is noteworthy too, it proved wholly inane, this huge world-ocean of + Intrigues and Imperial Necromancy; ran dry at last into absolute nothing + even for the Kaiser, and might as well not have been. And Mother and + Father, on the Prussian side, were driven to despair and pretty nearly to + delirium by it; and our poor young Fritz got tormented, scourged, and + throttled in body and in soul by it, till he grew to loathe the light of + the sun, and in fact looked soon to have quitted said light at one stage + of the business. + </p> + <p> + We are now approaching Act Second of the Double-Marriage, where Imperial + Ordnance-Master Graf von Seckendorf, a Black-Artist of supreme quality, + despatched from Vienna on secret errand, "crosses the Palace Esplanade at + Berlin on a summer evening of the year 1726;" and evokes all the demons on + our little Crown-Prince and those dear to him. We must first say something + of an important step, shortly antecedent thereto, which occurred in the + Crown-Prince's educational course. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter V. — CROWN-PRINCE GOES INTO THE POTSDAM GUARDS. + </h2> + <p> + Amid such commotion of the foreign elements and the domestic, an important + change occurs in the Crown-Prince's course of schooling. It is decided + that, whatever be his progress in the speculative branches, it is time he + should go into the Army, and practically learn soldiering. In his + fourteenth year, 3d May, 1725, [Preuss, i. 26; 106; and <i>Buch fur + Jedermann</i> (a minor book of his, on the same subject, Berlin, 1837), + ii. 13.] not long before the Treaty of Hanover, he was formally named + Captain, by Papa in War-council. Grenadier Guards, Potsdam Lifeguards, to + be the regiment; and next year he is nominated Major, and, a vacancy + occurring, appointed to begin actual duty. It is on the "20th of August, + 1726, that he first leads out his battalion to the muster," on those + terms. His age is not yet fifteen by four months;—a very tiny Major + among those Potsdam giants; but by rank, we observe, he rides; and his + horse is doubtless of the due height. And so the tiny Cadet-drillings have + ended; long Files of Giants, splendent in gold-lace and grenadier-caps, + have succeeded; and earnest work instead of mimic, in that matter, has + begun. + </p> + <p> + However it may have fared with his other school-lessons, here now is a + school-form he is advanced to, in which there will be no resource but + learning. Bad spelling might be overlooked by those that had charge of it; + bad drilling is not permissible on any terms. We need not doubt the + Crown-Prince did his soldier-duty faithfully, and learned in every point + the conduct of an officer: penalty as of Rhadamanthus waited upon all + failure there. That he liked it is by no means said; he much disliked it, + and his disgusts were many. An airy young creature:—and it was in + this time to give one instance, that that shearing of his locks occurred: + which was spoken of above, where the Court-Chirurgus proved so merciful. + To clog the winged Psyche in ever-returning parade-routine and military + pipe-clay,—it seems very cruel. But it is not to be altered: in + spite of one's disgusts, the dull work, to the last item of it, has daily + to be done. Which proved infinitely beneficial to the Crown-Prince, after + all. Hereby, to his Athenian-French elegancies, and airy promptitudes and + brilliancies, there shall lie as basis an adamantine Spartanism and + Stoicism; very rare, but very indispensable, for such a superstructure. + Well exemplified, through after life, in this Crown-Prince. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0019" id="link2H_4_0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + OF THE POTSDAM GIANTS, AS A FACT. + </h2> + <p> + His regiment was the Potsdam Grenadier Guard; that unique giant-regiment, + of which the world has heard so much in a vague half-mythical way. The + giant-regiment was not a Myth, however, but a big-boned expensive Fact, + tramping very hard upon the earth at one time, though now gone all to the + ghostly state. As it was a CLASS-BOOK, so to speak, of our Friedrich's,—Class-Book + (printed in huge type) for a certain branch of his schooling, the details + of which are so dim, though the general outcome of it proved so + unforgettable,—readers, apart from their curiosity otherwise, may as + well take a glimpse of it on this occasion. Vanished now, and grown a + Giant Phantom, the like of it hardly again to be in this world; and by + accident, the very smallest Figure ever ranked in it makes it memorable + there!— + </p> + <p> + With a wise instinct, Friedrich Wilhelm had discerned that all things in + Prussia must point towards his Army; that his Army was the heart and pith; + the State being the tree, every branch and leaf bound, after its sort, to + be nutritive and productive for the Army's behoof. That, probably for any + Nation in the long-run, and certainly for the Prussian Nation straightway, + life or death depends on the Army: Friedrich Wilhelm's head, in an + inarticulate manner, was full of this just notion; and all his life was + spent in organizing it to a practical fact. The more of potential battle, + the more of life is in us: a MAXIMUM of potential battle, therefore; and + let it be the OPTIMUM in quality! How Friedrich Wilhelm cared, day and + night, with all his heart and all his soul, to bring his Army to the + supreme pitch, we have often heard; and the more we look into his ways, + the more we are impressed with that fact. It was the central thing for + him; all other things circulating towards it, deriving from it: no labor + too great, and none too little, to be undergone for such an object. He + watched over it like an Argus, with eyes that reached everywhere. + Discipline shall be as exact as Euclid;—short of perfection we do + not stop! Discipline and ever better discipline; enforcement of the rule + in all points, improvement of the rule itself where possible, were the + great Drill-sergeant's continual care. Daily had some loop fallen, which + might have gone ravelling far enough; but daily was he there to pick it up + again, and keep the web unrent and solidly progressive. + </p> + <p> + We said, it was the "poetic ideal" of Friedrich Wilhelm; who is a dumb + poet in several particulars,—and requires the privileges of genius + from those that READ his dumb poem. It must be owned he rises into the + fantastic here and there; and has crotchets of ultraperfection for his + Army, which are not rational at all. Crotchets that grew ever madder, the + farther he followed them. This Lifeguard Regiment of foot, for instance, + in which the Crown-Prince now is,—Friedrich Wilhelm got it in his + Father's time, no doubt a regiment then of fair qualities; and he has kept + drilling it, improving it, as poets polish stanzas, unweariedly ever + since:—and see now what it has grown to! A Potsdam Giant Regiment, + such as the world never saw, before or since. Three Battalions of them,—two + always here at Potsdam doing formal lifeguard duty, the third at + Brandenburg on drill; 800 to the Battalion,—2,400 sons of Anak in + all. Sublime enough, hugely perfect to the royal eye, such a mass of + shining giants, in their long-drawn regularities and mathematical + manoeuvrings,—like some streak of Promethean lightning, realized + here at last, in the vulgar dusk of things! + </p> + <p> + Truly they are men supreme in discipline, in beauty of equipment; and the + shortest man of them rises, I think, towards seven feet, some are nearly + nine feet high. Men from all countries; a hundred and odd come annually, + as we saw, from Russia,—a very precious windfall: the rest have been + collected, crimped, purchased out of every European country, at enormous + expense, not to speak of other trouble to his Majesty. James Kirkman, an + Irish recruit of good inches, cost him 1,200 pounds before he could be got + inveigled, shipped and brought safe to hand. The documents are yet in + existence; [Forster, <i>Handbuch der Geschichte, Geographie und Statistik + des Preussischen Reichs</i> (Berlin, 1820), iv. 130, 132;—not in a + very lucid state.] and the Portrait of this Irish fellow-citizen himself, + who is by no means a beautiful man. Indeed, they are all portrayed; all + the privates of this distinguished Regiment are, if anybody cared to look + at them—Redivanoff from Moscow seems of far better bone than + Kirkman, though still more stolid of aspect. One Hohmann, a born Prussian, + was so tall, you could not, though yourself tall, touch his bare crown + with your hand; August the Strong of Poland tried, on one occasion, and + could not. Before Hohmann turned up, there had been "Jonas the Norwegian + Blacksmith,", also a dreadfully tall monster. Giant "Macdoll,"—who + was to be married, no consent asked on EITHER side, to the tall young + woman, which latter turned out to be a decrepit OLD woman (all Jest-Books + know the myth),—he also was an Irish Giant; his name probably + M'Dowal. [Forster, <i> Preussens Helden im Krieg und Frieden</i> (Berlin, + l848), i. 531; no date to the story, no evidence what grain of truth may + be in it.] This Hohmann was now FLUGELMANN ("fugleman" as we have named + it, leader of the file), the Tallest of the Regiment, a very mountain of + pipe-clayed flesh and bone. + </p> + <p> + Here, in reference to one other of those poor Giants, is an Anecdote from + Fassmann (who is very full on this subject of the Giants; abstruse + Historical Fassmann, often painfully cited by us): a most small Anecdote, + but then an indisputably certain one;—which brings back to us, in a + strange way, the vanished Time and its populations; as the poorest + authentic wooden lucifer may do, kindling suddenly, and' peopling the void + Night for moments, to the seeing eye!— + </p> + <p> + Fassmann, a very dark German literary man, in obsolete costume and + garniture, how living or what doing we cannot guess, found himself at + Paris, gazing about, in the year 1713; where, among other things, the Fair + of St. Germain was going on. Loud, large Fair of St. Germain, "which lasts + from Candlemas to the Monday before Easter;" and Fassmann one day took a + walk of contemplation through the same. Much noise, gesticulation, little + meaning. Show-booths, temporary theatres, merry-andrews, sleight-of-hand + men; and a vast public, drinking, dancing, gambling, flirting, as its wont + is. Nothing new for us there; new only that it all lies five generations + from us now. Did "the Old Pretender," who was then in his expectant + period, in this same village of St. Germain, see it too, as Fassmann did? + And Louis XIV., he is at Versailles; drooping fast, very dull to his + Maintenon. And our little Fritz in Berlin is a child in arms;—and + the world is all awake as usual, while Fassmann strolls through this noisy + inanity of show-booths, in the year 1713. + </p> + <p> + Strolling along, Fassmann came upon a certain booth with an enormous + Picture hung aloft in front of it: "Picture of a very tall man, in HEYDUC + livery, coat reaching to his ankles, in grand peruke, cap and big + heron-plume, with these words, 'LE GEANT ALLEMAND (German Giant),' written + underneath. Partly from curiosity, partly "for country's sake," Fassmann + expended twopence; viewed the gigantic fellow-creature; admits he had + never seen one so tall; though "Bentenrieder, the Imperial Diplomatist," + thought by some to be the tallest of men, had come athwart him once. This + giant's name was Muller; birthplace the neighborhood of Weissenfels;—"a + Saxon like myself. He had a small German Wife, not half his size. He made + money readily, showing himself about, in France, England, Holland;"—and + Fassmann went his way, thinking no more of the fellow.—But now, + continues Fassmann:— + </p> + <p> + "Coming to Potsdam, thirteen years after, in the spring of 1726, by his + Majesty's order, to"—in fact, to read the Newspapers to his Majesty, + and be generally useful, chiefly in the Tobacco-College, as we shall + discover,—"what was my surprise to find this same 'GEANT ALLEMAND' + of St. Germain ranked among the King's Grenadiers! No doubt of the + identity: I renewed acquaintance with the man; his little German Wife was + dead; but he had got an English one instead, an uncommonly shifty + creature. They had a neat little dwelling-house [as most of the married + giants had], near the Palace: here the Wife sold beer [brandy not + permissible on any terms], and lodged travellers;—I myself have + lodged there on occasion. In the course of some years, the man took + swelling in the legs; good for nothing as a grenadier; and was like to + fall heavy on society. But no, his little Wife snatched him up, easily + getting his discharge; carried him over with her to England, where he + again became a show-giant, and they were doing very well, when last heard + of,"—in the Country-Wakes of George II.'s early time. And that is + the real Biography of one Potsdam Giant, by a literary gentleman who had + lodged with him on occasion. [Fassmann, pp. 723-730.] + </p> + <p> + The pay of these sublime Footguards is greatly higher than common; they + have distinguished privileges and treatment: on the other hand, their + discipline is nonpareil, and discharge is never to be dreamt of, while + strength lasts. Poor Kirkman, does he sometimes think of the Hill of + Howth, and that he will never see it more? Kirkman, I judge, is not given + to thought;—considers that he has tobacco here, and privileges and + perquisites; and that Howth, and Heaven itself, is inaccessible to many a + man. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0020" id="link2H_4_0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S RECRUITING DIFFICULTIES. + </h2> + <p> + Tall men, not for this regiment only, had become a necessary of life to + Friedrich Wilhelm. Indispensable to him almost as his daily bread, To his + heart there is no road so ready as that of presenting a tall man or two. + Friedrich Wilhelm's regiments are now, by his exact new regulations, + levied and recruited each in its own Canton, or specific district: there + all males as soon as born are enrolled; liable to serve, when they have + grown to years and strength. All grown men (under certain exceptions, as + of a widow's eldest son, or of the like evidently ruinous cases) are + liable to serve; Captain of the Regiment and AMTMANN of the Canton settle + between them which grown man it shall be. Better for you not to be tall! + In fact it is almost a kindness of Heaven to be gifted with some safe + impediment of body, slightly crooked back or the like, if you much dislike + the career of honor under Friedrich Wilhelm. A general shadow of unquiet + apprehension we can well fancy hanging over those rural populations, and + much unpleasant haggling now and then;—nothing but the King's + justice that can be appealed to. King's justice, very great indeed, but + heavily checked by the King's value for handsome soldiers. + </p> + <p> + Happily his value for industrial laborers and increase of population is + likewise great. Townsfolk, skilful workmen as the theory supposes, are + exempt; the more ingenious classes, generally, his Majesty exempts in this + respect, to encourage them in others. For, on the whole, he is not less a + Captain of Work, to his Nation, than of other things. What he did for + Prussia in the way of industries, improvements, new manufactures, new + methods; in settling "colonies," tearing up drowned bogs and subduing them + into dry cornfields; in building, draining, digging, and encouraging or + forcing others to do so, would take a long chapter. He is the enemy of + Chaos, not the friend of it, wherever you meet with him. + </p> + <p> + For example, Potsdam itself. Potsdam, now a pleasant, grassy, leafy place, + branching out extensively in fine stone architecture, with swept + pavements; where, as in other places, the traveller finds land and water + separated into two firmaments,—Friedrich Wilhelm found much of it a + quagmire, land and water still weltering in one. In these very years, his + cuttings, embankments, buildings, pile-drivings there, are enormous; and + his perseverance needs to be invincible. For instance, looking out, one + morning after heavy rain, upon some extensive anti-quagmire operations and + strong pile-drivings, he finds half a furlong of his latest heavy piling + clean gone. What in the world has become of it? Pooh, the swollen lake has + burst it topsy-turvy; and it floats yonder, bottom uppermost, a + half-furlong of distracted liquid-peat. Whereat his Majesty gave a loud + laugh, says Bielfeld, [Baron de Bielfeld, <i>Lettres Familieres</i> + (second edition, a Leide, 1767), i. 31.] and commenced anew. The piles now + stand firm enough, like the rest of the Earth's crust, and carry strong + ashlar houses and umbrageous trees for mankind; and trivial mankind can + walk in clean pumps there, shuddering or sniggering at Friedrich Wilhelm, + as their humor may be. + </p> + <p> + No danger of this "Canton-system" of recruitment to the more ingenious + classes, who could do better than learn drill. Nor, to say truth, does the + poor clayey peasant suffer from it, according to his apprehensions. Often + perhaps, could he count profit and loss, he might find himself a gainer: + the career of honor turns out to be, at least, a career of practical + Stoicism and Spartanism; useful to any peasant or to any prince. + Cleanliness, of person and even of mind; fixed rigor of method, sobriety, + frugality, these are virtues worth acquiring. Sobriety in the matter of + drink is much attended to here: his Majesty permits no distillation of + strong-waters in Potsdam, or within so many miles; [Fassmann, p. 728.] nor + is sale of such allowed, except in the most intensely select manner. The + soldier's pay is in the highest degree exiguous; not above three halfpence + a day, for a common foot-soldier, in addition to what rations he has:—but + it is found adequate to its purpose, too; supports the soldier in sound + health, vigorously fit for his work; into which points his Majesty looks + with his own eyes, and will admit no dubiety. Often, too, if not already + OFTENEST (as it ultimately grew to be), the peasant-soldier gets home for + many months of the year, a soldier-ploughman; and labors for his living in + the old way. His Captain (it is one of the Captain's perquisites, who is + generally a veteran of fifty, with a long Spartan training, before he gets + so high) pockets the pay of all these furloughs, supernumerary to the real + work of the regiment;—and has certain important furnishings to yield + in return. + </p> + <p> + At any rate, enrolment, in time of peace, cannot fall on many: three or + four recruits in the year, to replace vacancies, will carry the Canton + through its crisis. For we are to note withal, the third part of every + regiment can, and should by rule, consist of "foreigners,"—men not + born Prussians. These are generally men levied in the Imperial Free-towns; + "in the REICH" or Empire, as they term it; that is to say, or is mainly to + say, in the countries of Germany that are not Austrian or Prussian. For + this foreign third-part too, the recruits must be got; excuses not + admissible for Captain or Colonel; nothing but recruits of the due inches + will do. Captain and Colonel (supporting their enterprise on frugal + adequate "perquisites," hinted of above) have to be on the outlook; + vigilantly, eagerly; and must contrive to get them. Nay, we can take + supernumerary recruits; and have in fact always on hand, attached to each + regiment, a stock of such. Any number of recruits, that stand well on + their legs, are welcome; and for a tall man there is joy in Potsdam, + almost as if he were a wise man or a good man. + </p> + <p> + The consequence is, all countries, especially all German countries, are + infested with a new species of predatory two-legged animals: Prussian + recruiters. They glide about, under disguise if necessary; lynx-eyed, + eager almost as the Jesuit hounds are; not hunting the souls of men, as + the spiritual Jesuits do, but their bodies in a merciless carnivorous + manner. Better not to be too tall, in any country, at present! Irish + Kirkman could not be protected by the aegis of the British Constitution + itself. In general, however, the Prussian recruiter, on British ground, + reports, That the people are too well off, that there is little to be done + in those parts. A tall British sailor, if we pick him up strolling about + Memel or the Baltic ports, is inexorably claimed by the Diplomatists; no + business do-able till after restoration of him; and he proves a mere loss + to us. [Despatches in the State-Paper Office.] Germany, Holland, + Switzerland, the Netherlands, these are the fruitful fields for us, and + there we do hunt with some vigor. + </p> + <p> + For example, in the town of Julich there lived and worked a tall young + carpenter: one day a well-dressed positive-looking gentleman ("Baron von + Hompesch," the records name him) enters the shop; wants "a stout chest, + with lock on it, for household purposes; must be of such and such + dimensions, six feet six in length especially, and that is an + indispensable point,—in fact it will be longer than yourself, I + think, Herr Zimmermann: what is the cost; when can it be ready?" Cost, + time, and the rest are settled. "A right stout chest, then; and see you + don't forget the size; if too short, it will be of no use to me: mind;"—"JA + WOHL! GEWISS!" And the positive-looking, well-clad gentleman goes his + ways. At the appointed day he reappears; the chest is ready;—we + hope, an unexceptionable article? "Too short, as I dreaded!" says the + positive gentleman. "Nay, your honor," says the carpenter, "I am certain + it is six feet six!" and takes out his foot-rule.—"Pshaw, it was to + be longer than yourself." "Well, it is."—"No it isn't!" The + carpenter, to end the matter, gets into his chest; and will convince any + and all mortals. No sooner is he in, rightly flat, than the positive + gentleman, a Prussian recruiting officer in disguise, slams down the lid + upon him; locks it; whistles in three stout fellows, who pick up the + chest, gravely walk through the streets with it, open it in a safe place; + and find-horrible to relate—the poor carpenter dead; choked by want + of air in this frightful middle-passage of his. [Forster, ii. 305, 306; + Pollnitz, ii. 518, 519.] Name of the Town is given, Julich as above; date + not. And if the thing had been only a popular Myth, is it not a + significant one? But it is too true; the tall carpenter lay dead, and + Hompesch got "imprisoned for life" by the business. + </p> + <p> + Burgermeisters of small towns have been carried off; in one case, "a rich + merchant in Magdeburg," whom it cost a large sum to get free again. + [Stenzel, iii. 356.] Prussian recruiters hover about barracks, + parade-grounds, in Foreign Countries; and if they see a tall soldier (the + Dutch have had instances, and are indignant at them), will persuade him to + desert,—to make for the country where soldier-merit is understood, + and a tall fellow of parts will get his pair of colors in no-time. + </p> + <p> + But the highest stretch of their art was probably that done on the + Austrian Ambassador,—tall Herr von Bentenrieder; tallest of + Diplomatists; whom Fassmann, till the Fair of St. Germain, had considered + the tallest of men. Bentenrieder was on his road as Kaiser's Ambassador to + George I., in those Congress-of-Cambrai times; serenely journeying on; + when, near by Halberstadt, his carriage broke. Carriage takes some time in + mending; the tall Diplomatic Herr walks on, will stretch his long legs, + catch a glimpse of the Town withal, till they get it ready again. And now, + at some Guard-house of the place, a Prussian Officer inquires, not too + reverently of a nobleman without carriage, "Who are you?" "Well," answered + he smiling, "I am BOTSCHAFTER (Message-bearer) from his Imperial Majesty. + And who may you be that ask?"—"To the Guard-house with us!" Whither + he is marched accordingly. "Kaiser's messenger, why not?" Being a most + tall handsome man, this Kaiser's BOTSCHAFTER, striding along on foot here, + the Guard-house Officials have decided to keep him, to teach him Prussian + drill-exercise;—and are thrown into a singular quandary, when his + valets and suite come up, full of alarm dissolving into joy, and call him + "Excellenz!" [Pollnitz, ii. 207-209.] + </p> + <p> + Tall Herr von Bentenrieder accepted the prostrate apology of these + Guard-house Officials. But he naturally spoke of the matter to George I.; + whose patience, often fretted by complaints on that head, seems to have + taken fire at this transcendent instance of Prussian insolency. In + consequence of this adventure, he commenced, says Pollnitz, a system of + decisive measures; of reprisals even, and of altogether peremptory, + minatory procedures, to clear Hanover of this nuisance; and to make it + cease, in very fact, and not in promise and profession merely. These were + the first rubs Queen Sophie met with, in pushing on the Double-Marriage; + and sore rubs they were, though she at last got over them. Coming on the + back of that fine Charlottenburg Visit, almost within year and day, and + directly in the teeth of such friendly aspects and prospects, this conduct + on the part of his Britannic Majesty much grieved and angered Friedrich + Wilhelm; and in fact involved him in considerable practical troubles. + </p> + <p> + For it was the signal of a similar set of loud complaints, and menacing + remonstrances (with little twinges of fulfilment here and there) from all + quarters of Germany; a tempest of trouble and public indignation rising + everywhere, and raining in upon Friedrich Wilhelm and this unfortunate + Hobby of his. No riding of one's poor Hobby in peace henceforth. Friedrich + Wilhelm always answered, what was only superficially the fact, That HE + knew nothing of these violences and acts of ill-neighborship; he, a just + King, was sorrier than any man to hear of them; and would give immediate + order that they should end. But they always went on again, much the same; + and never did end. I am sorry a just King, led astray by his Hobby, + answers thus what is only superficially the fact. But it seems he cannot + help it: his Hobby is too strong for him; regardless of curb and bridle in + this instance. Let us pity a man of genius, mounted on so ungovernable a + Hobby; leaping the barriers, in spite of his best resolutions. Perhaps the + poetic temperament is more liable to such morbid biases, influxes of + imaginative crotchet, and mere folly that cannot be cured? Friedrich + Wilhelm never would or could dismount from his Hobby: but he rode him + under much sorrow henceforth; under showers of anger and ridicule;—contumelious + words and procedures, as it were SAXA ET FAECES, battering round him, to a + heavy extent; the rider a victim of Tragedy and Farce both at once. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0021" id="link2H_4_0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + QUEEN SOPHIE'S TROUBLES: GRUMKOW WITH THE OLD DESSAUER, AND GRUMKOW + WITHOUT HIM. + </h2> + <p> + Queen Sophie had, by delicate management, got over those first rubs, aud + arrived at a Treaty of Hanover, and clear ground again; far worse rubs lay + ahead; but smooth travelling, towards such a goal, was not possible for + this Queen. Poor Lady, her Court, as we discern from Wilhelmina and the + Books, is a sad welter of intrigues, suspicions; of treacherous + chambermaids, head-valets, pickthank scouts of official gentlemen and + others striving to supplant one another. Satan's Invisible World very busy + against Queen Sophie! Under any terms, much more under those of the + Double-Marriage, her place in a kindly but suspicious Husband's favor was + difficult to maintain. Restless aspirants, climbing this way or that, by + ladder-steps discoverable in this abstruse element, are never wanting, and + have the due eavesdropping satellites, now here, now there. Queen Sophie + and her party have to walk warily, as if among precipices and pitfalls. Of + all which wide welter of extinct contemptibilities, then and there so + important, here and now become minus quantities, we again notice the + existence, but can undertake no study or specification whatever. Two + Incidents, the latter of them dating near the point where we now are, will + sufficiently instruct the reader what a welter this was, in which Queen + Sophie and her bright little Son, the new Major of the Potsdam Giants, had + to pass their existence. + </p> + <p> + Incident First fell out some six years ago or more,—in 1719, year of + the Heidelberg Protestants, of Clement the Forger, when his Majesty "slept + for weeks with a pistol under his pillow," and had other troubles. His + Majesty, on one of his journeys, which were always many, was taken + suddenly ill at Brandenburg, that year: so violently ill, that thinking + himself about to die, he sent for his good Queen, and made a Will + appointing her Regent in case of his decease. His Majesty quite recovered + before long. But Grumkow and the old Dessauer, main aspirants; getting + wind of this Will, and hunting out the truth of it,—what a puddling + of the waters these two made in consequence; stirring up mire and dirt + round the good Queen, finding she had been preferred to them! [Wilhelmina, + i. 26, 29.] Nay Wilhelmina, in her wild way, believes they had, not long + after, planned to "fire a Theatre" about the King, one afternoon, in + Berlin City, and take his life, thereby securing for themselves such + benefit in prospect as there might be! Not a doubt of it, thinks + Wilhelmina: "The young Margraf, [Born 1700 (see vol. v. p. 393.)] our + precious Cousin, of Schwedt, is not he Sister's-son of that Old Dessauer? + Grandson of the Great Elector, even as Papa is. Papa once killed (and our + poor Crown-Prince also made away with),—that young Margraf, and his + blue Fox-tiger of an Uncle over him, is King in Prussia! Obviously they + meant to burn that Theatre, and kill Papa!" This is Wilhelmina's + distracted belief; as, doubtless, it was her Mother's on the day in + question: a jealous, much-suffering, transcendently exasperated Mother, as + we see. + </p> + <p> + Incident Second shows us those, two rough Gentlemen fallen out of + partnership, into open quarrel and even duel. "Duel at the Copenick Gate," + much noised of in the dull old Prussian Books,—though always in a + reserved manner; not even the DATE, as if that were dangerous, being + clearly given! It came in the wake of that Hanover Treaty, as is now + guessed; the two having taken opposite sides on that measure, and got + provoked into ripping up old sores in general. Dessau was AGAINST King + George and the Treaty, it appears; having his reasons, family-reasons of + old standing: Grumkow, a bribable gentleman, was FOR,—having also + perhaps his reasons. Enough, it came to altercations, objurgations between + the two; which rose ever higher,—rose at length to wager-of-battle. + Indignant challenge on the part of the Old Dessauer; which, however, + Grumkow, not regarded as a BARESARK in the fighting way, regrets that his + Christian principles do not, forsooth, allow him to accept. The King is + appealed to; the King, being himself, though an orthodox Christian, yet a + still more orthodox Soldier, decides That, on the whole, General Grumkow + cannot but accept this challenge from the Field-marshal Prince of Dessau. + </p> + <p> + Dessau is on the field, at the Copenick Gate, accordingly,—late-autumn + afternoon (I calculate) of the year 1725;—waits patiently till + Grumkow make his appearance. Grumkow, with a chosen second, does at last + appear; advances pensively with slow steps. Gunpowder Dessau, black as a + silent thunder-cloud, draws his sword: and Grumkow—does not draw + his; presents it undrawn, with unconditional submission and apology: "Slay + me, if you like, old Friend, whom I have injured!" Whereat Dessau, + uttering no word, uttering only some contemptuous snort, turns his back on + the phenomenon; mounts his horse and rides home. [Pollnitz, ii. 212, 214.] + A divided man from this Grumkow henceforth. The Prince waited on her + Majesty; signified his sorrow for past estrangements; his great wish now + to help her, but his total inability, being ousted by Grumkow: We are for + Halle, Madam, where our Regiment is; there let us serve his Majesty, since + we cannot here! [Wilhelmina, i. 90, 93.]—And in fact the Old + Dessauer lives mostly there in time coming; sunk inarticulate in tactics + of a truly deep nature, not stranding on politics of a shallow;—a + man still memorable in the mythic traditions of that place. Better to + drill men to perfection, and invent iron ramrods, against the day they + shall be needed, than go jostling, on such terms, with cattle of the + Grumkow kind! And thus, we perceive, Grumkow is in, and the Old Dessauer + out; and there has been "a change of Ministry," change of + "Majesty's-Advisers," brought about;—may the Advice going be wiser + now! + </p> + <p> + What the young Crown-Prince did, said, thought, in such environment, of + backstairs diplomacies, female sighs and aspirations, Grumkow duels, + drillings in the Giant Regiment, is not specified for us in the smallest + particular, in the extensive rubbish-books that have been written about + him. Ours is, to indicate that such environment was: how a lively soul, + acted on by it, did not fail to react, chameleon-like taking color from + it, and contrariwise taking color against it, must be left to the reader's + imagination—One thing we have gathered and will not forget, That the + Old Dessauer is out, and Grumkow in, that the rugged Son of Gunpowder, + drilling men henceforth at Halle, and in a dumb way meditating tactics as + few ever did, has no share in the foul enchantments that now supervene at + court. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter VI. — ORDNANCE-MASTER SECKENDORF CROSSES THE PALACE + ESPLANADE. + </h2> + <p> + The Kaiser's terror and embarrassment at the conclusion of the Hanover + Treaty, as we saw, were extreme. War possible or likely; and nothing but + the termagant caprices of Elizabeth Farnese to depend on: no cash from the + Sea-Powers; only cannonshot, invasion and hostility, from their cash and + them: What is to be done? To "caress the pride of Spain;" to keep alive + the hopes, in that quarter, of marrying their Don Carlos, the + supplementary Infant, to our eldest Archduchess; which indeed has set the + Sea-Powers dreadfully on fire, but which does leave Parma and Piacenza + quiet for the present, and makes the Pragmatic Sanction too an affair of + Spain's own: this is one resource, though a poor one, and a dangerous. + Another is, to make alliance with Russia, by well flattering the poor + little brown Czarina there: but is not that a still poorer? And what third + is there!— + </p> + <p> + There is a third worth both the others, could it be got done: To detach + Friedrich Wilhelm from those dangerous Hanover Confederates, and bring him + gently over to ourselves. He has an army of 60,000, in perfect equipment, + and money to maintain them so. Against us or for us,—60,000 PLUS or + 60,000 MINUS;—that will mean 120,000 fighting men; a most weighty + item in any field there is like to be. If it lie in the power of human + art, let us gain this wild irritated King of Prussia. Dare any henchman of + ours venture to go, with honey-cakes, with pattings and cajoleries, and + slip the imperial muzzle well round the snout of that rugged ursine + animal? An iracund bear, of dangerous proportions, and justly irritated + against us at present? Our experienced FELDZEUGMEISTER, Ordnance-Master + and Diplomatist, Graf von Seckendorf, a conscientious Protestant, and the + cunningest of men, able to lie to all lengths,—dare he try it? He + has fought in all quarters of the world; and lied in all, where needful; + and saved money in all: he will try it, and will succeed in it too! + [Pollnitz, ii. 235; Stenzel, iii. 544; Forster, ii. 59, iii. 235, 239.] + </p> + <p> + The Second Act, therefore, of this foolish World-Drama of the + Double-Marriage opens,—on the 11th May, 1726, towards sunset, in the + TABAGIE of the Berlin Palace, as we gather from laborious comparison of + windy Pollnitz with other indistinct witnesses of a dreary nature,—in + the following manner:— + </p> + <p> + Prussian Majesty sits smoking at the window; nothing particular going on. + A square-built shortish steel-gray Gentleman, of military cut, past fifty, + is strolling over the SCHLOSSPLATZ (spacious Square in front of the + Palace), conspicuous amid the sparse populations there; pensively + recreating himself, in the yellow sunlight and long shadows, as after a + day's hard labor or travel. "Who is that?" inquires Friedrich Wilhelm, + suspending his tobacco. Grumkow answers cautiously, after survey: He + thinks it must be Ordnance-Master Seckendorf; who was with him to-day; + passing on rapidly towards Denmark, on business that will not wait.—"Experienced + Feldzeugmeister Graf von Seckendorf, whom we stand in correspondence with, + of late, and were expecting about this time? Whom we have known at the + Siege of Stralsund, nay ever since the Marlborough times and the Siege of + Menin, in war and peace; and have always reckoned a solid reasonable man + and soldier: Why has he not come to us?"—"Your Majesty," confesses + Grumkow, "his business is so pressing! Business in Denmark will not wait. + Seckendorf owned he had come slightly round, in his eagerness to see our + grand Review at Tempelhof the day after to-morrow: What soldier would omit + the sight (so he was pleased to intimate) of soldiering carried to the + non-plus-ultra? But he hoped to do it quite incognito, among the general + public;—and then to be at the gallop again: not able to have the + honor of paying his court at this time."—"Court? NARREN-POSSEN + (Nonsense)!" answers Friedrich Wilhelm,—and opening the window, + beckons Seckendorf up, with his own royal head and hand. The conversation + of a man who had rational sense, and could tell him anything, were it only + news af foreign parts in a rational manner, was always welcome to + Friedrich Wilhelm. + </p> + <p> + And so Seckendorf, how can he help it, is installed in the Tabagie; glides + into pleasant conversation there. A captivating talker; solid for + religion, for the rights of Germany against intrusive French and others: + such insight, orthodoxy, sense and ingenuity; pleasant to hear; and all + with the due quantity of oil, though he "both snuffles and lisps;" and has + privately, in case of need, a capacity of lying,—for he curiously + distils you any lie, in his religious alembics, till it become tolerable + to his conscience, or even palatable, as elixirs are;—capacity of + double-distilled lying probably the greatest of his day.—Seckendorf + assists at the grand Review, 13th May, 1726; witnesses with unfeigned + admiration the non-plus-ultra of manoeuvring, and, in fact, the general + management, military and other, of this admirable King. [Pollnitz, ii. + 235; Fassmann, pp. 367, 368.] Seckendorf, no question of it, will do his + Denmark business swiftly, then, since your Majesty is pleased so to wish. + Seckendorf, sure enough, will return swiftly to such a King, whose + familiar company, vouchsafed him in this noble manner, he likes,—oh, + how he likes it! + </p> + <p> + In a week or two, Seckendorf is back to Berlin; attends his Majesty on the + annual Military Tour through Preussen; attends him everywhere, becoming + quite a necessary of life to his Majesty; and does not go away at all. + Seckendorf's business, if his Majesty knew it, will not lead him "away;" + but lies here on this spot; and is now going on; the magic-apparatus, + Grumkow the mainspring of it, getting all into gear! Grumkow was once + clear for King George and the Hanover Treaty, having his reasons then; but + now he has other reasons, and is clear against those foreign connections. + "Hm, hah—Yes, my estimable, justly powerful Herr von Grumkow, here + is a little Pension of 1,600 ducats (only 500 pounds as yet), which the + Imperial Majesty, thinking of the service you may do Prussia and Germany + and him, graciously commands me to present;—only 500 pounds by the + year as yet; but there shall be no lack of money if we prosper!" [Forster, + iii. 233, 232; see also iv. 172, 121, 157, &c.] + </p> + <p> + And so there are now two Black-Artists, of the first quality, busy on the + unconscious Friedrich Wilhelm; and Seckendorf, for the next seven years, + will stick to Friedrich Wilhelm like his shadow; and fascinate his whole + existence and him, as few wizards could have done. Friedrich Wilhelm, like + St. Paul in Melita, warming his innocent hands at the fire of dry branches + here kindled for him,—that miracle of a venomous serpent is this + that has fixed itself upon his finger? To Friedrich Wilhelm's enchanted + sense it seems a bird-of-paradise, trustfully perching there; but it is of + the whip-snake kind, or a worse; and will stick to him tragically, if also + comically, for years to come. The world has seen the comedy of it, and has + howled scornful laughter upon Friedrich Wilhelm for it: but there is a + tragic side, not so well seen into, where tears are due to the poor King; + and to certain others horsewhips, and almost gallows-ropes, are due!—Yes, + had Seckendorf and Grumkow both been well hanged, at this stage of the + affair, whereby the affair might have soon ended on fair terms, it had + been welcome to mankind; welcome surely to the present Editor; for one; + such a saving to him, of time wasted, of disgust endured! And indeed it is + a solacement he has often longed for, in these dreary operations of his. + But the Fates appointed otherwise; we have all to accept our Fate!— + </p> + <p> + Grumkow is sworn to Imperial orthodoxy, then,—probably the vulpine + MIND (so to term it) went always rather that way, and only his interest + the other;—Grumkow is well bribed, supplied for bribing others where + needful; stands orthodox now, under peril of his very head. All things + have been got distilled into the palatable state, spiritual and economic, + for oneself and one's grand Trojan-Horse of a Grumkow; and the adventure + proceeds apace. Seckendorf sits nightly in the TABAGIE (a kind of "Smoking + Parliament," as we shall see anon); attends on all promenades and + journeys: one of the wisest heads, and so pleasant in discourse, he is + grown indispensable, and a necessary of life to us. Seckendorf's + Biographer computes, "he must have ridden, in those seven years, + continually attending his Majesty, above 5,000 German miles," [Anonymous + (Seckendorf's Grand-Nephew) <i>Versuch einer Lebensbeschreibung des + Feldmarschalls Grafen von Seckendorf</i> (Leipzig, 1792, 1794), i. 6.]—that + is 25,000 English miles; or a trifle more than the length of the + Terrestrial Equator. + </p> + <p> + In a month or two, [13th August, 1726 (Preuss, i. 37).] Seckendorf—since + Majesty vouchsafes to honor us by wishing it—contrives to get + nominated Kaiser's Minister at Berlin: unlimited prospects of Tabagie, and + good talk, now opening on Majesty. And impartial Grumkow, in Tabagie or + wherever we are, cannot but admit, now and then, that the Excellenz Herr + Graf Ordnance-Master has a deal of reason in what he says about Foreign + Politics, about intrusive French and other points. "Hm, Na," muses + Friedrich Wilhelm to himself, "if the Kaiser had not been so lofty on us + in that Heidelberg-Protestant affair, in the Ritter-Dienst business, in + those damned 'recruiting' brabbles; always a very high-sniffing surly + Kaiser to us!" For in fact the Kaiser has, all along, used Friedrich + Wilhelm bitterly ill; and contemplates no better usage of him, except in + show. Usage? thinks the Kaiser: A big Prussian piece of Cannon, whom we + wish to enchant over to us! Did LAZY PEG complain of her "usage"?—So + that the Excellenz and Grumkow have a heavy problem of it; were they not + so diligent, and the Cannon itself well disposed. "Those BLITZ FRANZOSEN + (blasted French)!" growls Friedrich Wilhelm sometimes, in the + Tobacco-Parliament: [Forster, ii. 12, &c.] for he hates the French, + and would fain love his Kaiser; being German to the bone, and of right + loyal heart, though counted only a piece of cannon by some. For one thing, + his Prussian Majesty declines signing that Treaty of Hanover a second + time: now when the Dutch accede to it, after almost a year's trouble with + them, the Prussian Ambassador, singular to observe, "has no orders to + sign;" leaves the English with their Hollanders and Blitz Franzosen to + sign by themselves, this time. [9th August, 1726. (Boyer, <i>The Political + State of Great Rrilain,</i> a monthly periodical, vol. xxxii. p. 77, which + is the number for July, 1726.)] "We will wait, we will wait!" thinks his + Prussian Majesty:—"Who knows?" + </p> + <p> + "But then Julich and Berg!" urges he always; "Britannic Majesty and the + Blitz Franzosen were to secure me the reversion there. That was the + essential point!"—For this too Excellenz has a remedy; works out + gradually a remedy from headquarters, the amiable dexterous man: "Kaiser + will do the like, your Majesty; Kaiser himself will secure it you!"—In + brief, some three months after Seckendorf's instalment as Kaiser's + Minister, not yet five months since his appearance in the Schlossplatz + that May evening,—it is now Hunting-season, and we are at + Wusterhausen; Majesty, his two Black-Artists and the proper satellites on + both sides all there,—a new and opposite Treaty, in extreme privacy, + on the 12th of October, 1726, is signed at that sequestered + Hunting-Schloss: "Treaty of Wusterhausen" so called; which was once very + famous and mysterious, and caused many wigs to wag. Wigs to wag, in those + days especially, when knowledge of it was first had; the rather as only + half knowledge could be had of it;—or can, mourns Dryasdust, who has + still difficulties about some "secret articles" in the Document. + [Buchholz, i. 94 n.] Courage, my friend; they are now of no importance to + any creature. + </p> + <p> + The essential purport of this Treaty, [Given IN EXTENSO (without the + secret articles) in Forster, iv. 159-166.] legible to all eyes, is, "That + Friedrich Wilhelm silently drops the Hanover Treaty and Blitz Franzosen; + and explicitly steps over to the Kaiser's side; stipulates to assist the + Kaiser with so many thousand, if attacked in Germany by any Blitz Franzose + or intrusive Foreigner whatever. In return for which, the Kaiser, besides + assisting Prussia in the like case with a like quantity of thousands, + engages, in circuitous chancery language, To be helpful, and humanly + speaking effectual, in that grand matter of Julich and Berg;—somewhat + in the following strain: 'To our Imperial mind it does appear the King of + Prussia has manifest right to the succession in Julich and Berg; right + grounded on express ERBVERGLEICH of 1624, not to speak of Deeds + subsequent: the Imperial mind, as supreme judge of such matters in the + Reich, will not fail to decide this Cause soon and justly, should it come + to that. But we hope it may take a still better course: for the Imperial + mind will straightway set about persuading Kur-Pfalz to comply peaceably; + and even undertakes to have something done, that way, before six months + pass.'" [Art. v. in Forster, ubi supra.] + </p> + <p> + Humanly speaking, surely the Imperial mind will be effectual in the Julich + and Berg matter. But it was very necessary to use circuitous chancery + language,—inasmuch as the Imperial mind, desirous also to secure + Kur-Pfalz's help in this sore crisis, had, about three months ago, [Treaty + with Kur-Pfalz, 16th August, 1726 (Forster, ii. 71).] expressly engaged to + Kur-Pfalz, That Julich and Berg should NOT go to Friedrich Wilhelm in + terms of the old Deed, but to Kur-Pfalz's Cousins of Sulzbach, whom the + old gentleman (in spite of Deeds) was obstinate to prefer! There is no + doubt about that fact, about that self-devouring pair of facts. To such + straits is a Kaiser driven when he gets deep into spectre-hunting. + </p> + <p> + This is the once famous, now forgotten, "Treaty of Wusterhausen, 12th + October, 1726;" which proved so consolatory to the Kaiser in that dread + crisis of his Spectre-Hunt; and the effects of which are very visible in + this History, if nowhere else. It caught up the Prussian-English + Double-Marriage; launched it into the huge tide of Imperial Spectre + Politics, into the awful swaggings and swayings of the Terrestrial LIBRA + in general; and nearly broke the heart of several Royal persons; of a + memorable Crown-Prince, among others. Which last is now, pretty much, its + sole claim to be ever mentioned again by mankind. As there was no + performance, nor an intention of any, in that Julich-Berg matter, + Excellenz Seckendorf had the task henceforth of keeping, by art-magic or + the PRETERnatural method,—that is, by mere help of Grumkow and the + Devil,—his Prussian Majesty steady to the Kaiser nevertheless. + Always well divided from the English especially. Which the Excellency + Seckendorf managed to do. For six or seven years coming; or, in fact, till + these Spectre-chasings ended, or ran else-whither for consummation. Steady + always, jealous of the English; sometimes nearly mad, but always ready as + a primed cannon: so Friedrich Wilhelm was accordingly managed to be kept;—his + own Household gone almost into delirium; he himself looking out, with + loyally fierce survey, for any Anti-Kaiser War: "When do we go off, then?"—though + none ever came. And indeed nothing came; and except those torments to + young Friedrich and others, it was all Nothing. One of the strangest + pieces of Black-Art ever done. + </p> + <p> + Excellenz Seckendorf, whom Friedrich Wilhelm so loves, is by no means a + beautiful man; far the reverse. Bodily,—and the spirit corresponds,—a + stiff-backed, petrified, stony, inscrutable-looking, and most unbeautiful + old Intriguer. Portraits of him, which are frequent, tell all one story. + The brow puckered together, in a wide web of wrinkles from each temple, as + if it meant to hide the bad pair of eyes, which look suspicion; inquiry, + apprehension, habit of double-distilled mendacity; the indeterminate + projecting chin, with its thick, chapped under-lip, is shaken out, or + shoved out, in mill-hopper fashion,—as if to swallow anything there + may be, spoken thing or other, and grind it to profitable meal for itself. + Spiritually he was an old Soldier let for hire; an old Intriguer, Liar, + Fighter, what you like. What we may call a human Soul standing like a + hackney-coach, this half-century past, with head, tongue, heart, + conscience, at the hest of a discerning public and its shilling. + </p> + <p> + There is considerable faculty, a certain stiff-necked strength in the old + fellow; in fact, nature had been rather kind to him; and certainly his + Uncle and Guardian—the distinguished Seckendorf who did the HISTORIA + LUTHERANISMI, a RITTER, and man of good mark, in Ernst THE PIOUS of + Saxe-Gotha's time—took pains about his education. But Nature's gifts + have not prospered with him: how could they, in that hackney-coach way of + life? Considerable gifts, we say; shrunk into a strange bankruptcy in the + development of them. A stiff-backed, close-fisted old gentleman, with + mill-hopper chin,—with puckery much-inquiring eyes, which have never + discovered any noble path for him in this world. He is a strictly orthodox + Protestant; zealous about external points of moral conduct; yet scruples + not, for the Kaiser's shilling, to lie with energy to all lengths; and + fight, according to the Reichs-Hofrath code, for any god or man. He is + gone mostly to avarice, in these mature years; all his various strengths + turned into strength of grasping. He is now fifty-four; a man public in + the world, especially since he became the Kaiser's man: but he has served + various masters, in various capacities, and been in many wars;—and + for the next thirty years we shall still occasionally meet him, seldom to + our advantage. + </p> + <p> + He comes from Anspach originally; and has kindred Seckendorfs in office + there, old Ritters in that Country. He inherited a handsome castle and + estate, Meuselwitz, near Altenburg in the Thuringen region, from that + Uncle, Ernst of Saxe-Gotha's man, whom we spoke of; and has otherwise + gained wealth; all which he holds like a vice. Once, at Meuselwitz, they + say, he and some young secretary, of a smartish turn, sat working or + conversing, in a large room with only one candle to illuminate it: the + secretary, snuffing the candle, snuffed it out: "Pshaw," said Seckendorf + impatiently, "where did you learn to handle snuffers?" "Excellenz, in a + place where there were two lights kept!" replied the other. [<i> + Sechendorje Leben</i> (already cited), i. 4.]—For the rest, he has a + good old Wife at Meuselwitz, who is now old, and had never any children; + who loves him much, and is much loved by him, it would appear: this is + really the best fact I ever knew of him,—poor bankrupt creature; + gone all to spiritual rheumatism, to strict orthodoxy, with unlimited + mendacity; and avarice as the general outcome! Stiff-backed, close-fisted + strength, all grown wooden or stony; yet some little well of human + Sympathy does lie far in the interior: one wishes, after all (since he + could not be got hanged in time for us), good days to his poor old Wife + and him! He both lisps and snuffles, as was mentioned; writes cunningly + acres of despatches to Prince Eugene; never swears, though a military man, + except on great occasions one oath, JARNI-BLEU,—which is perhaps + some flash-note version of CHAIR-DE-DIEU, like PARBLEU, 'Zounds and the + rest of them, which the Devil cannot prosecute you for; whereby an + economic man has the pleasure of swearing on cheap terms. + </p> + <p> + Herr Pollnitz's account of Seckendorf is unusually emphatic; babbling + Pollnitz rises into a strain of pulpit eloquence, inspired by indignation, + on this topic: "He affected German downrightness, to which he was a + stranger; and followed, under a deceitful show of piety, all the + principles of Machiavel. With the most sordid love of money he combined + boorish manners. Lies [of the distilled kind chiefly] had so become a + habit with him, that he had altogether lost notion of employing truth in + speech. It was the soul of a usurer, inhabiting now the body of a + war-captain, now transmigrating into that of a huckster. False oaths, and + the abominablest basenesses, cost him nothing, so his object might be + reached. He was miserly with his own, but lavish with his Master's money; + daily he gave most striking proofs of both these habitudes. And this was + the man whom we saw, for a space of time, at the head of the Kaiser's + Armies, and at the helm of the State and of the German Empire," [Pollnitz, + ii. 238.]—having done the Prussian affair so well. + </p> + <p> + This cunning old Gentleman, to date from the autumn of 1726, may be said + to have taken possession of Friedrich Wilhelm; to have gone into him, + Grumkow and he, as two devils would have done in the old miraculous times: + and, in many senses, it was they, not the nominal proprietor, that lived + Friedrich Wilhelm's life. For the next seven years, a figure went about, + not doubting it was Friedrich Wilhelm; but it was in reality + Seckendorf-and-Grumkow much more. These two, conjurer and his man, both + invisible, have caught their royal wild Bear; got a rope round his muzzle;—and + so dance him about; now terrifying, now exhilarating all the market by the + pranks he plays! Grumkow, a very Machiavel after his sort, knew the nature + of the royal animal as no other did. Grumkow, purchased by his Pension of + 500 pounds, is dog-cheap at the Money, as Seckendorf often urges at + Vienna, Is he not? And they add a touch of extraordinary gift now and + then, 40,000 florins (4,000 pounds) on one occasion: [In 1732: Forster, + iii. 232.] for "Grumkow DIENET EHRLICH (serves honorably)," urges + Seckendorf; and again, "If anybody deserves favor [GNADE, meaning extra + pay], it is this gentleman;"—WAHRLICH! Purchased Grumkow has ample + money at command, to purchase other people needed; and does purchase; so + that all things and persons can be falsified and enchanted, as need is. By + and by it has got so far, that Friedrich Wilhelm's Ambassador at London + maintains a cipher-correspondence with Grumkow; and writes to Friedrich + Wilhelm, not what is passing in city or court there, but what Grumkow + wishes Friedrich Wilhelm to think is passing. + </p> + <p> + Of insinuations, by assent or contradiction, potent if you know the nature + of the beast; of these we need not speak. Tabaks-Collegium has become a + workshop:—human nature can fancy it! Nay human nature can still read + it in the British State-Paper Office, to boundless stupendous extent;—but + ought mostly to suppress it when read. + </p> + <p> + This is a very strange part of Friedrich Wilhelm's history; and has caused + much wonder in the world: Wilhelmina's Book rather aggravating than + assuaging that feeling, on the part of intelligent readers. A Book written + long afterwards, from her recollections, from her own oblique point of + view; in a beautifully shrill humor; running, not unnaturally, into + confused exaggerations and distortions of all kinds. Not mendaciously + written anywhere, yet erroneously everywhere. Wilhelmina had no knowledge + of the magical machinery that was at work: she vaguely suspects Grumkow + and Seckendorf; but does not guess, in the mad explosions of Papa, that + two devils have got into Papa, and are doing the mischief. Trusting to + memory alone, she misdates, mistakes, misplaces; jumbles all things + topsy-turvy;—giving, on the whole, an image of affairs which is + altogether oblique, dislocated, exaggerative; and which, in fine, proves + unintelligible, if you try to construe it into a fact or thing DONE. Yet + her Human Narrative, in that wide waste of merely Pedant Maunderings, is + of great worth to us. A green tree, a leafy grove, better or worse, in the + wilderness of dead bones and sand,—how welcome! Many other Books + have been written on the matter; but these to my experience, only darken + it more and more. Pull Wilhelmina STRAIGHT, the best you can; deduct a + twenty-five or sometimes even a seventy-five per cent, from the + exaggerative portions of her statement; you will find her always true, + lucid, charmingly human; and by far the best authority on this part of her + Brother's History. State-Papers to some extent have also been printed on + the matter; and of written State-Papers, here in England and elsewhere, + this Editor has, had several hundred-weights distilled for him: but except + as lights hung out over Wilhelmina, nothing yet known, of published or + manuscript, can be regarded as good for much. + </p> + <p> + O Heavens, had one but seven-league boots, to get across that inane + country,—a bottomless whirlpool of dust and cobwebs in many places;—where, + at any rate, we had so little to do! Elucidating, rectifying, painfully + contrasting, comparing, let us try to work out some conceivable picture of + this strange Imperial MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING; and get our unfortunate + Crown-Prince, and our unfortunate selves, alive through it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter VII. — TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + </h2> + <p> + In these distressing junctures, it may cheer the reader's spirits, and + will tend to explain for him what is coming, if we glance a little into + the Friedrich-Wilhelm TABAGIE (TABAKS-COLLEGIUM or Smoking College), more + worthy to be called Tobacco-Parliament, of which there have already been + incidental notices. Far too remarkable an Institution of the country to be + overlooked by us here. + </p> + <p> + Friedrich Wilhelm, though an absolute Monarch, does not dream of governing + without Law, still less without Justice, which he knows well to be the one + basis for him and for all Kings and men. His life-effort, prosecuted in a + grand, unconscious, unvarying and instinctive way, may be defined rather + as the effort to find out everywhere in his affairs what was justice; to + make regulations, laws in conformity with that, and to guide himself and + his Prussia rigorously by these. Truly he is not of constitutional turn; + cares little about the wigs and formalities of justice, pressing on so + fiercely towards the essence and fact of it; he has been known to tear + asunder the wigs and formalities, in a notably impatient manner, when they + stood between him and the fact. But Prussia has its Laws withal, tolerably + abundant, tolerably fixed and supreme: and the meanest Prussian man that + could find out a definite Law, coming athwart Friedrich Wilhelm's wrath, + would check Friedrich Wilhelm in mid-volley,—or hope with good + ground to do it. Hope, we say; for the King is in his own and his people's + eyes, to some indefinite extent, always himself the supreme ultimate + Interpreter, and grand living codex, of the Laws,—always to some + indefinite extent;—and there remains for a subject man nothing but + the appeal to PHILIP SOBER, in some rash cases! On the whole, however, + Friedrich Wilhelm is by no means a lawless Monarch; nor are his Prussians + slaves by any means: they are patient, stout-hearted, subject men, with a + very considerable quantity of radical fire, very well covered in; + prevented from idle explosions, bound to a respectful demeanor, and + especially to hold their tongues as much as possible. + </p> + <p> + Friedrich Wilhelm has not the least shadow of a Constitutional Parliament, + nor even a Privy-Council, as we understand it; his Ministers being in + general mere Clerks to register and execute what he had otherwise resolved + upon: but he had his TABAKS-COLLEGIUM, Tobacco-College, Smoking Congress, + TABAGIE, which has made so much noise in the world, and which, in a rough + natural way: affords him the uses of a Parliament, on most cheap terms, + and without the formidable inconveniences attached to that kind of + Institution. A Parliament reduced to its simplest expression, and, instead + of Parliamentary eloquence, provided with Dutch clay-pipes and tobacco: so + we may define this celebrated Tabagie of Friedrich Wilhelm's. + </p> + <p> + Tabagies were not uncommon among German Sovereigns of that epoch: George + I. at Hanover had his Smoking-room, and select smoking Party on an + evening; and even at London, as we noticed, smoked nightly, wetting his + royal throat with thin beer, in presence of his fat and of his lean + Mistress, if there were no other company. Tobacco,—introduced by the + Swedish soldiers in the Thirty-Years War, say some; or even by the English + soldiers in the Bohemian or Palatinate beginnings of said War, say others;—tobacco, + once shown them, was enthusiastically adopted by the German populations, + long in want of such an article; and has done important multifarious + functions in that country ever since. For truly, in Politics, Morality, + and all departments of their Practical and Speculative affairs, we may + trace its influences, good and bad, to this day. + </p> + <p> + Influences generally bad; pacificatory but bad, engaging you in idle + cloudy dreams;—still worse, promoting composure among the palpably + chaotic and discomposed; soothing all things into lazy peace; that all + things may be left to themselves very much, and to the laws of gravity and + decomposition. Whereby German affairs are come to be greatly overgrown + with funguses in our Time; and give symptoms of dry and of wet rot, + wherever handled. George I., we say, had his Tabagie; and other German + Sovereigns had: but none of them turned it to a Political Institution, as + Friedrich Wilhelm did. The thrifty man; finding it would serve in that + capacity withal. He had taken it up as a commonplace solace and amusement: + it is a reward for doing strenuously the day's heavy labors, to wind them + up in this manner, in quiet society of friendly human faces, into a + contemplative smoke-canopy, slowly spreading into the realm of sleep and + its dreams. Friedrich Wilhelm was a man of habitudes; his evening Tabagie + became a law of Nature to him, constant as the setting of the sun. + Favorable circumstances, quietly noticed and laid hold of by the thrifty + man, developed this simple evening arrangement of his into a sort of + Smoking Parliament, small but powerful, where State-consultations, in a + fitful informal way, took place; and the weightiest affairs might, by + dexterous management, cunning insinuation and manoeuvring from those that + understood the art and the place, he bent this way or that, and ripened + towards such issue as was desirable. + </p> + <p> + To ascertain what the true course in regard to this or the other high + matter will be; what the public will think of it; and, in short, what and + how the Executive-Royal shall DO therein: this, the essential function of + a Parliament and Privy-Council, was here, by artless cheap methods, under + the bidding of mere Nature, multifariously done; mere taciturnity and + sedative smoke making the most of what natural intellect there might be. + The substitution of Tobacco-smoke for Parliamentary eloquence is, by some, + held to be a great improvement. Here is Smelfungus's opinion, quaintly + expressed, with a smile in it, which perhaps is not all of joy:— + </p> + <p> + "Tobacco-smoke is the one element in which, by our European manners, men + can sit silent together without embarrassment, and where no man is bound + to speak one word more than he has actually and veritably got to say. Nay, + rather every man is admonished and enjoined by the laws of honor, and even + of personal ease, to stop short of that point; at all events, to hold his + peace and take to his pipe again, the instant he has spoken his meaning, + if he chance to have any. The results of which salutary practice, if + introduced into Constitutional Parliaments, might evidently be + incalculable. The essence of what little intellect and insight there is in + that room: we shall or can get nothing more out of any Parliament; and + sedative, gently soothing, gently clarifying tobacco-smoke (if the room + were well ventilated, open atop, and the air kept good), with the + obligation to a MINIMUM of speech, surely gives human intellect and + insight the best chance they can have. Best chance, instead of the worst + chance as at present: ah me, ah me, who will reduce fools to silence again + in any measure? Who will deliver men from this hideous nightmare of + Stump-Oratory, under which the grandest Nations are choking to a nameless + death, bleeding (too truly) from mouth and nose and ears, in our sad + days?" + </p> + <p> + This Tobacco-College is the Grumkow-and-Seckendorf chief field of action. + These two gentlemen understand thoroughly the nature of the Prussian + Tobacco-Parliament; have studied the conditions of it to the most + intricate cranny: no English Whipper-in or eloquent Premier knows his St. + Stephen's better, or how to hatch a measure in that dim hot element. By + hint, by innuendo; by contemplative smoke, speech and forbearance to + speak; often looking one way and rowing another,—they can touch the + secret springs, and guide in a surprising manner the big dangerous + Fireship (for such every State-Parliament is) towards the haven they + intend for it. Most dexterous Parliament-men (Smoke-Parliament); no + Walpole, no Dundas, or immortal Pitt, First or Second, is cleverer in + Parliamentary practice. For their Fireship, though smaller than the + British, is very dangerous withal. Look at this, for instance: Seckendorf, + one evening, far contrary to his wont, which was prostrate respect in easy + forms, and always judicious submission of one's own weaker judgment, + towards his Majesty,—has got into some difficult defence of the + Kaiser; defence very difficult, or in reality impossible. The cautious man + is flustered by the intricacies of his position, by his Majesty's + indignant counter-volleys, and the perilous necessity there is to do the + impossible on the spur of the instant;—gets into emphasis, answers + his Majesty's volcanic fire by incipient heat of his own; and, in short, + seems in danger of forgetting himself, and kindling the Tobacco-Parliament + into a mere conflagration. That will be an issue for us! And yet who dare + interfere? Friedrich Wilhelm's words, in high clangorous metallic + plangency, and the pathos of a lion raised by anger into song, fall hotter + and hotter; Seckendorf's puckered brow is growing of slate-color; his + shelf-lip, shuttling violently, lisps and snuffles mere unconciliatory + matter:—What on earth will become of us?—"Hoom! Boom!" + dexterous Grumkow has drawn a Humming-top from his pocket, and suddenly + sent it spinning. There it hums and caracoles, through the bottles and + glasses; reckless what dangerous breakage and spilth it may occasion. + Friedrich Wilhelm looked aside to it indignantly. "What is that?" inquired + he, in metallic tone still high. "Pooh, a toy I bought for the little + Prince August, your Majesty: am only trying it!" His Majesty understood + the hint, Seckendorf still better; and a jolly touch of laughter, on both + sides, brought the matter back into the safe tobacco-clouds again. + [Forster, ii. 110.] + </p> + <p> + This Smoking Parliament or TABAKS-COLLEGIUM of his Prussian Majesty was a + thing much talked of in the world; but till Seckendorf and Grumkow started + their grand operations there, its proceedings are not on record; nor + indeed till then had its political or parliamentary function become so + decidedly evident. It was originally a simple Smoking-Club; got together + on hest of Nature, without ulterior intentions:—thus English + PARLIAMENTA themselves are understood to have been, in the old Norman + time, mere royal Christmas-Festivities, with natural colloquy or PARLEYING + between King and Nobles ensuing thereupon, and what wisest consultation + concerning the arduous things of the realm the circumstances gave rise to. + Such parleyings or consultations,—always two in number in regard to + every matter, it would seem, or even three; one sober, one drunk, and one + just after being drunk,—proving of extreme service in practice, grew + to be Parliament, with its three readings, and what not. + </p> + <p> + A Smoking-room,—with wooden furniture, we can suppose,—in each + of his Majesty's royal Palaces, was set apart for this evening service, + and became the Tabagie of his Majesty. A Tabagie-room in the Berlin + Schloss, another in the Potsdam, if the cicerone had any knowledge, could + still be pointed out:—but the Tobacco-PIPES that are shown as + Friedrich Wilhelm's in the KUNSTKAMMER or Museum of Berlin, pipes which no + rational smoker, not compelled to it, would have used, awaken just doubt + as to the cicerones; and you leave the Locality of the Tabagie a thing + conjectural. In summer season, at Potsdam and in country situations, + Tabagie could be held under a tent: we expressly know, his Majesty held + Tabagie at Wusterhausen nightly on the Steps of the big Fountain, in the + Outer Court there. Issuing from Wusterhausen Schloss, and its little + clipped lindens, by the western side; passing the sentries, bridge and + black ditch, with live Prussian eagles, vicious black bears, you come upon + the royal Tabagie of Wusterhausen; covered by an awning, I should think; + sending forth its bits of smoke-clouds, and its hum of human talk, into + the wide free Desert round. Any room that was large enough, and had height + of ceiling, and air-circulation and no cloth-furniture, would do: and in + each Palace is one, or more than one, that has been fixed upon and fitted + out for that object. + </p> + <p> + A high large Room, as the Engravings (mostly worthless) give it us: + contented saturnine human figures, a dozen or so of them, sitting round a + large long Table, furnished for the occasion; long Dutch pipe in the mouth + of each man; supplies of knaster easily accessible; small pan of burning + peat, in the Dutch fashion (sandy native charcoal, which burns slowly + without smoke), is at your left hand; at your right a jug, which I find to + consist of excellent thin bitter beer. Other costlier materials for + drinking, if you want such, are not beyond reach. On side-tables stand + wholesome cold-meats, royal rounds of beef not wanting, with bread thinly + sliced and buttered: in a rustic but neat and abundant way, such innocent + accommodations, narcotic or nutritious, gaseous, fluid and solid, as human + nature, bent on contemplation and an evening lounge, can require. Perfect + equality is to be the rule; no rising, or notice taken, when anybody + enters or leaves. Let the entering man take his place and pipe, without + obligatory remarks: if he cannot smoke, which is Seckendorf's case for + instance, let him at least affect to do so, and not ruffle the established + stream of things. And so, Puff, slowly Pff!—and any comfortable + speech that is in you; or none, if you authentically have not any. + </p> + <p> + Old official gentlemen, military for most part; Grumkow, Derschau, Old + Dessauer (when at hand), Seckendorf, old General Flans (rugged + Platt-Deutsch specimen, capable of TOCADILLE or backgammon, capable of + rough slashes of sarcasm when he opens his old beard for speech): these, + and the like of these, intimate confidants of the King, men who could + speak a little, or who could be socially silent otherwise,—seem to + have been the staple of the Institution. Strangers of mark, who happened + to be passing, were occasional guests; Ginckel the Dutch Ambassador, + though foreign like Seckendorf, was well seen there; garrulous Pollnitz, + who has wandered over all the world, had a standing invitation. Kings, + high Princes on visit, were sure to have the honor. The Crown-Prince, now + and afterwards, was often present; oftener than he liked,—in such an + atmosphere, in such an element. "The little Princes were all wont to come + in," doffing their bits of triangular hats, "and bid Papa good-night. One + of the old Generals would sometimes put them through their exercise; and + the little creatures were unwilling to go away to bed." + </p> + <p> + In such Assemblage, when business of importance, foreign or domestic, was + not occupying the royal thoughts,—the Talk, we can believe, was + rambling and multifarious: the day's hunting, if at Wusterhausen; the + day's news, if at Berlin or Potsdam; old reminiscences, too, I can fancy, + turning up, and talk, even in Seckendorf's own time, about Siege of Menin + (where your Majesty first did me the honor of some notice), Siege of + Stralsund, and—duly on September 11th at least—Malplaquet, + with Marlborough and Eugene: what Marlborough said, looked: and especially + Lottum, late Feldmarschall Lottum; [Died 1719.] and how the Prussian + Infantry held firm, like a wall of rocks, when the horse were swept away,—rocks + highly volcanic, and capable of rolling forward too; and "how a certain + Adjutant [Derschau smokes harder, and blushes brown] snatched poor Tettau + on his back, bleeding to death, amid the iron whirlwinds, and brought him + out of shot-range." [<i> Militair-Lexikon,</i> iv. 78,? Major-General von + Tettau, and i. 348,? Derschau. This was the beginning of Derschau's favor + with Friedrich Wilhelm, who had witnesssed this piece of faithful work.]—"Hm, + na, such a Day, that, Herr Feldzeugmeister, as we shall not see again till + the Last of the Days!" + </p> + <p> + Failing talk, there were Newspapers in abundance; scraggy Dutch Courants, + Journals of the Rhine, FAMAS, Frankfurt ZEITUNGS; with which his Majesty + exuberantly supplied himself;—being willing to know what was passing + in the high places of the world, or even what in the dark snuffy Editor's + thoughts was passing. This kind of matter, as some picture of the actual + hour, his Majesty liked to have read to him, even during meal-time. Some + subordinate character, with clear windpipe,—all the better too, if + he be a book-man, cognizant of History, Geography, and can explain + everything,—usually reads the Newspaper from some high seat behind + backs, while his Majesty and Household dine. The same subordinate + personage may be worth his place in the Tabagie, should his function + happen to prove necessary there. Even book-men, though generally pedants + and mere bags of wind and folly, are good for something, more especially + if rich mines of quizzability turn out to be workable in them. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0024" id="link2H_4_0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + OF GUNDLING, AND THE LITERARY MEN IN TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + </h2> + <p> + Friedrich Wilhelm had, in succession or sometimes simultaneously, a number + of such Nondescripts, to read his Newspapers and season his Tabagie;—last + evanescent phasis of the old Court-Fool species;—who form a + noticeable feature of his environment. One very famous literary gentleman + of this description, who distanced every competitor, in the Tabagie and + elsewhere, for serving his Majesty's occasions, was Jakob Paul Gundling; a + name still laughingly remembered among the Prussian People. Gundling was a + Country-Clergyman's son, of the Nurnberg quarter; had studied, carrying + off the honors, in various Universities; had read, or turned over, whole + cartloads of wise and foolish Books (gravitating, I fear, towards the + latter kind); had gone the Grand Tour as travelling tutor, "as companion + to an English gentleman." He had seen courts, perhaps camps, at lowest + cities and inns; knew in a manner, practically and theoretically, all + things, and had published multifarious Books of his own. [List of them, + Twenty-one in number, mostly on learned Antiquarian subjects,—in + Forster, ii. 255, 256.] The sublime long-eared erudition of the man was + not to be contested; manifest to everybody; thrice and four times manifest + to himself, in the first place. + </p> + <p> + In the course of his roamings, and grand and little tours, he had come to + Berlin in old King Friedrich's time; had thrown powder in the eyes of men + there, and been appointed to Professorships in the Ritter-Academy, to + Chief-Heraldships,—"Historiographer Royal," and perhaps other honors + and emoluments. The whole of which were cut down by the ruthless scythe of + Friedrich Wilhelm, ruthlessly mowing his field clear, in the manner we saw + at his Accession. Whereby learned grandiloquent Gundling, much addicted to + liquor by this time, and turning the corner of forty, saw himself cast + forth into the general wilderness; that is to say, walking the streets of + Berlin, with no resources but what lay within himself and his own hungry + skin. Much given to liquor too. How he lived, for a year or two after + this,—erudite pen and braggart tongue his only resources,—were + tragical to say. At length a famous Tavern-keeper, the "LEIPZIGE + POLTER-HANS (Leipzig Kill-Cow, or BOISTEROUS-JACK)," as they call him, + finding what a dungeon of erudite talk this Gundling was, and how + gentlemen got entertained by him, gave Gundling the run of his Tavern (or, + I fear, only a seat in the drinking-room); and it was here that General + Grumkow found him, talking big, and disserting DE OMNI SCIBILI, to the + ancient Berlin gentlemen over their cups. A very Dictionary of a man; who + knows, in a manner, all things; and is by no means ignorant that he knows + them: Would not this man suit his Majesty? thought Grumkow; and brought + him to Majesty, to read the Newspapers and explain everything. Date is not + given, or hinted at; but incidentally we find Gundling in full blast "in + the year 1718;" [Von Loen, <i>Kleine Schriften</i>, i. 201 (cited in + Forster, i. 260).] and conclude his instalment was a year or two before. + Gundling came to his Majesty from the Tap-room of Boisterous-Jack; read + the Newspapers, and explained everything: such a Dictionary-in-breeches + (much given to liquor) as his Majesty had got, was never seen before. + Working into the man, his Majesty, who had a great taste for such things, + discovered in him such mines of college-learning, court-learning, without + end; self-conceit, and depth of appetite, not less considerable: in fine, + such Chaotic Blockheadism with the consciousness of being Wisdom, as was + wondrous to behold,—as filled his Majesty, especially, with laughter + and joyful amazement. Here are mines of native Darkness and Human + Stupidity, capable of being made to phosphoresce and effervesce,—are + there not, your Majesty? Omniscient Gundling was a prime resource in the + Tabagie, for many years to come. Man with sublimer stores of long-eared + Learning and Omniscience; man more destitute of Mother-wit, was nowhere to + be met with. A man, bankrupt of Mother-wit;—who has Squandered any + poor Mother-wit he had in the process of acquiring his sublime long-eared + Omniscience; and has retained only depth of appetite,—appetite for + liquor among other things, as the consummation and bottomless cesspool of + appetites:—is not this a discovery we have made, in + Boisterous-Jack's, your Majesty! + </p> + <p> + The man was an Eldorado for the peculiar quizzing humor of his Majesty; + who took immense delight in working him, when occasion served. In the + first years, he had to attend his Majesty on all occasions of amusement; + if you invite his Majesty to dinner, Gundling too must be of the party. + Daily, otherwise, Gundling was at the Tabagie; getting drunk, if nothing + better. Vein after vein, rich in broad fun (very broad and Brobdignagian, + such as suits there), is discovered in him: without wit himself, but much + the cause of wit. None oftener shook the Tabagie with inextinguishable + Hahas: daily, by stirring into him, you could wrinkle the Tabagie into + grim radiance of banter and silent grins. + </p> + <p> + He wore sublime clothes: Friedrich Wilhelm, whom we saw dress up his + regimental Scavenger-Executioners in French costume, for Count + Rothenburg's behoof, made haste to load Gundling with Rathships, + Kammerherrships, Titles such as fools covet;—gave him tolerable + pensions too, poor devil, and even functions, if they were of the + imaginary or big insignificant sort. Above all things, his Majesty dressed + him, as the pink of fortunate ambitious courtiers. Superfine scarlet coat, + gold buttonholes, black-velvet facings and embroideries without end: + "straw-colored breeches; red silk stockings," with probably blue clocks to + them, "and shoes with red heels:" on his learned head sat an immense + cloud-periwig of white goat's-hair (the man now growing towards fifty); in + the hat a red feather:—in this guise he walked the streets, the gold + Key of KAMMERHERR (Chamberlain) conspicuously hanging at his coat-breast; + and looked proudly down upon the world, when sober. Alas, he was often not + sober; and fiends in human shape were ready enough to take advantage of + his unguarded situation. No man suffered ruder tarring-and-feathering;—and + his only comfort was his bane withal, that he had, under such conditions, + the use of the royal cellars, and could always command good liquor there. + </p> + <p> + His illustrious scarlet coat, by tumblings in the ditch, soon got dirty to + a degree; and exposed him to the biting censures of his Majesty, anxious + for the respectability of his Hofraths. One day, two wicked Captains, + finding him prostrate in some lone place, cut off his Kammerherr KEY; and + privately gave it to his Majesty. Majesty, in Tabagie, notices Gundling's + coat-breast: "Where is your Key, then, Herr Kammerherr?" "Hm, hah—unfortunately + lost it, Ihro Majestat!"—"Lost it, say you?" and his Majesty looks + dreadfully grave.—"Key lost?" thinks Tabagie, grave Seckendorf + included: "JARNI-BLEU, that is something serious!" "As if a Soldier were + to drink his musket!" thinks his Majesty: "And what are the laws, if an + ignorant fellow is shot, and a learned wise one escapes?" Here is matter + for a deliberative Tabagie; and to poor Gundling a bad outlook, fatal or + short of fatal. He had better not even drink much; but dispense with + consolation, and keep his wits about him, till this squall pass. After + much deliberating, it is found that the royal clemency can be extended; + and an outlet devised, under conditions. Next Tabagie, a servant enters + with one of the biggest trays in the world, and upon it a "Wooden Key + gilt, about an ell long;" this gigantic implement is solemnly hung round + the repentant Kammerherr; this he shall wear publicly as penance, and be + upon his behavior, till the royal mind can relent. Figure the poor + blockhead till that happen! "On recovering his metal key, he goes to a + smith, and has it fixed on with wire." + </p> + <p> + What Gundling thought to himself, amid these pranks and hoaxings, we do + not know. The poor soul was not born a fool; though he had become one, by + college-learning, vanity, strong-drink, and the world's perversity and his + own. Under good guidance, especially if bred to strict silence, he might + have been in some measure a luminous object,—not as now a + phosphorescent one, shining by its mere rottenness! A sad "Calamity of + Authors" indeed, when it overtakes a man!—Poor Gundling probably had + lucid intervals now and then; tragic fits of discernment, in the inner-man + of him. He had a Brother, also a learned man, who retained his senses; and + was even a rather famed Professor at Halle; whose Portrait, looking very + academic, solemn and well-to-do, turns up in old printshops; whose Books, + concerning "Henry the Fowler (<i>De Henrico Aucupe</i>)," "Kaiser Conrad + I.," and other dim Historical objects, are still consultable,—though + with little profit, to my experience. The name of this one was NICOLAUS + HIERONYMUS; ours is JAKOB PAUL, the senior brother,—once the hope of + the House, it is likely, and a fond Father's pride,—in that poor old + Nurnberg Parsonage long ago! + </p> + <p> + Jakob Paul likewise continued to write Books, on Brandenburg Heraldries, + Topography, Genealogies: even a "LIFE" or two of some old Brandenburg + Electors are still extant from his hand; but not looked at now by any + mortal. He had been, perhaps was again, Historiographer Royal; and felt + bound to write such Books: several of them he printed; and we hear of + others still manuscript, "in five folio volumes written fair." He held + innumerable half-mock Titles and Offices; among others, was actual + President of the Berlin Royal Society, or ACADEMIE DES SCIENCES, + Leibnitz's pet daughter,—there Gundling actually sat in Office; and + drew the salary, for one certainty. "As good he as another," thought + Friedrich Wilhelm: "What is the use of these solemn fellows, in their big + perukes, with their crabbed X+Y's, and scientiflc Pedler's-French; doing + nothing that I can see, except annually the <i>Berlin Almanac,</i> which + they live upon? Let them live upon it, and be thankful; with Gundling for + their head man." + </p> + <p> + Academy of Sciences makes its ALMANAC, and some peculium of profit by it; + lectures perhaps a little "on Anatomy" (good for something, that, in his + Majesty's mind); but languishes—without encouragement during the + present reign. Has his Majesty no prize questions to propose, then? None, + or worse. He once officially put these learned Associates upon + ascertaining for him "Why Champagne foamed?" They, with a hidden vein of + pleasantry, required "material to experiment upon." Friedrich Wilhelm sent + them a dozen, or certain dozens; and the matter proved insoluble to this + day. No King, scarcely any man, had less of reverence for the Sciences so + called; for Academic culture, and the art of the Talking-Schoolmaster in + general! A King obtuse to the fine Arts, especially to the vocal Arts, in + a high degree. Literary fame itself he regards as mountebank fame; the art + of writing big admirable folios is little better to him than that of + vomiting long coils of wonderful ribbon, for the idlers of the + market-place; and he bear-baits his Gundling, in this manner, as + phosphorescent blockhead of the first magnitude, worthy of nothing better. + </p> + <p> + Nay, it is but lately (1723 the exact year) that he did his ever-memorable + feat in regard to Wolf and his Philosophy, at Halle. Illustrious Wolf was + recognized, at that time, as the second greater Leibnitz, and + Head-Philosopher of Nature, who "by mathematical method" had as it were + taken Nature in the fact, and illuminated everything, so that whosoever + ran might read,—which all manner of people then tried to do, but, + have now quite ceased trying "by the Wolf-method:"—Immortal Wolf, + somewhat of a stiff, reserved humor, inwardly a little proud, and not + wanting in private contempt of the contemptible, had been accused of + heterodoxy by the Halle Theologians. Immortal Wolf, croakily satirical + withal, had of course defended himself; and of course got into a shoreless + sea of controversy with the Halle Theologians; pestering his Majesty with + mere wars, and rumors of war, for a length of time, from that Halle + University. [In Busching (<i>Beitrage,</i> i. l-140) is rough authentic + account of Wolf, and especially of all that,—with several curious + LETTERS of Wolf's.] So that Majesty, unable to distinguish top or bottom + in such a coil of argument; or to do justice in the case, however willing + and anxious, often passionately asked: "What, in God's name, is the real + truth of it?" Majesty appointed Commissions to inquire; read Reports; + could for a long while make out nothing certain. At last came a decision + on the sudden;—royal mind suddenly illuminated, it is a little + uncertain how. Some give the credit of it to Gundling, which is unlikely; + others to "Two Generals" of pious orthodox turn, acquainted with Halle;—and + I have heard obscurely that it was the Old Dessauer, who also knew Halle; + and was no doubt wearied to hear nothing talked of there but injured + Philosopher Wolf, and injuring Theologian Lange, or VICE VERSA. Some + practical military man, not given to take up with shadows, it likeliest + was. "In God's name, what is the real truth of all that?" inquired his + Majesty, of the practical man: "DOES Wolf teach hellish doctrines; as + Lange says, or heavenly, as himself says?" "Teaches babble mainly, I + should think, and scientific Pedler's French," intimated the practical + man: "But they say he has one doctrine about oaths, and what he calls + foundation of duty, which I did not like. Not a heavenly doctrine that. + Follow out that, any of your Majesty's grenadiers might desert, and say he + had done no sin against God!" [Busching, i. 8; Benekendorf, <i>Karakterzilge + aus dem Leben Konig Friedrich Wilhelm I.</i> (Anonymous, Berlin, 1787), + ii. 23.] Friedrich Wilhelm flew into a paroxysm of horror; instantly + redacted brief Royal Decree [15th November (Busching says 8th), 1723.] + (which is still extant among the curiosities of the Universe), ordering + Wolf to quit Halle and the Prussian Dominions, bag and baggage, + forevermore, within eight-and-forty hours, "BEY STRAFE DES STRANGES, under + pain of the halter!" + </p> + <p> + Halter: the Head-Philosopher of Nature, found too late, will be hanged, as + if he were a sheep-stealer; hanged, and no mistake! Poor Wolf gathered + himself together, wife and baggage; girded up his loins; and ran with the + due despatch. He is now found sheltered under Hessen-Darmstadt, at + Marburg, professing something there; and all the intellect of the world is + struck with astonishment, and with silent or vocal pity for the poor man.—It + is but fair to say, Friedrich Wilhelm, gradually taking notice of the + world's humor in regard to this, began to have his own misgivings; and + determined to read some of Wolf's Books for himself. Reading in Wolf, he + had sense to discern that here was a man of undeniable talent and + integrity; that the Practical Military judgment, loading with the iron + ramrod, had shot wide of the mark, in this matter; and, in short, that a + palpable bit of foul-play had been done. This was in 1733;—ten years + after the shot, when his Majesty saw, with his own eyes, how wide it had + gone. He applied to Wolf earnestly, more than once, to come back to him: + Halle, Frankfurt, any Prussian University with a vacancy in it, was now + wide open to Wolf. But Wolf knew better: Wolf, with bows down to the + ground, answered always evadingly;—and never would come back till + the New Reign began. + </p> + <p> + Friedrich Wilhelm knew little of Book-learning or Book-writing; and his + notion of it is very shocking to us. But the fact is, O reader, + Book-writing is of two kinds: one wise, and may be among the wisest of + earthly things; the other foolish, sometimes far beyond what can be + reached by human nature elsewhere. Blockheadism, Unwisdom, while silent, + is reckoned bad; but Blockheadism getting vocal, able to speak + persuasively,—have you considered that at all? Human Opacity falling + into Phosphorescence; that is to say, becoming luminous (to itself and to + many mortals) by the very excess of it, by the very bursting of it into + putrid fermentation;—all other forms of Chaos are cosmic in + comparison!—Our poor Friedrich Wilhelm had seen only Gundlings among + the Book-writing class: had he seen wiser specimens, he might have formed, + as he did in Wolf's case, another judgment. Nay in regard to Gundling + himself, it is observable how, with his unutterable contempt, he seems to + notice in him glimpses of the admirable (such acquirements, such + dictionary-faculties, though gone distracted!),—and almost has a + kind of love for the absurd dog. Gundling's pensions amount to something + like 150 pounds; an immense sum in this Court. [Forster, i. 263, 284 (if + you can RECONCILE the two passages).] A blockhead admirable in some sorts; + and of immense resource in Tobacco-Parliament when business is slack!— + </p> + <p> + No end to the wild pranks, the Houyhnhnm horse-play they had with drunken + Gundling. He has staggered out in a drunk state, and found, or not clearly + FOUND till the morrow, young bears lying in his bed;—has found his + room-door walled up; been obliged to grope about, staggering from door to + door and from port to port, and land ultimately in the big Bears' den, who + hugged and squeezed him inhumanly there. Once at Wusterhausen, staggering + blind-drunk out of the Schloss towards his lair, the sentries at the + Bridge (instigated to it by the Houyhnhnms, who look on) pretend to fasten + some military blame on him: Why has he omitted or committed so-and-so? + Gundling's drunk answer is unsatisfactory. "Arrest, Herr Kammerrath, is it + to be that, then!" They hustle him about, among the Bears which lodge + there;—at length they lay him horizontally across two ropes;—take + to swinging him hither and thither, up and down, across the black + Acherontic Ditch, which is frozen over, it being the dead of winter: one + of the ropes, LOWER rope, breaks; Gundling comes souse upon the ice with + his sitting-part; breaks a big hole in the ice, and scarcely with legs, + arms and the remaining rope, can be got out undrowned. [Forster (i. + 254-280); founding, I suppose, on <i>Leben und Thaten des Freiherrn Paul + von Gundling</i> (Berlin, 1795); probably not one of the exactest + Biographies.] + </p> + <p> + If, with natural indignation, he shut his door, and refuse to come to the + Tabagie, they knock in a panel of his door; and force him out with + crackers, fire-works, rockets and malodorous projectiles. Once the poor + blockhead, becoming human for a moment, went clean away; to Halle where + his Brother was, or to some safer place: but the due inveiglements, + sublime apologies, increase of titles, salaries, were used; and the + indispensable Phosphorescent Blockhead, and President of the Academy of + Pedler's-French, was got back. Drink remained always as his consolation; + drink, and the deathless Volumes he was writing and printing. Sublime + returns came to him;—Kaiser's Portrait set in diamonds, on one + occasion,—for his Presentation-Copies in high quarters: immortal + fame, is it not his clear portion; still more clearly abundance of good + wine. Friedrich Wilhelm did not let him want for Titles;—raised him + at last to the Peerage; drawing out the Diploma and Armorial Blazonry, in + a truly Friedrich-Wilhelm manner, with his own hand. The Gundlings, in + virtue of the transcendent intellect and merits of this Founder Gundling, + are, and are hereby declared to be, of Baronial dignity to the last scion + of them; and in "all RITTER-RENNEN (Tournaments), Battles, Fights, + Camp-pitchings, Sealings, Sightings, shall and may use the above-said + Shield of Arms,"—if it can be of any advantage to them. A Prussian + Majesty who gives us 150 pounds yearly, with board and lodging and the run + of his cellar, and honors such as these, is not to be lightly sneezed + away, though of queer humors now and then. The highest Personages, as we + said, more than once made gifts to Gundling; miniatures set in diamonds; + purses of a hundred ducats: even Gundling, it was thought, might throw in + a word, mad or otherwise, which would bear fruit. It was said of him, he + never spoke to harm anybody with his Majesty. The poor blown-up blockhead + was radically not ill-natured,—at least, if you let his + "phosphorescences" alone. + </p> + <p> + But the grandest explosions, in Tobacco-Parliament, were producible, when + you got Two literary fools; and, as if with Leyden-jars, positive and + negative, brought their vanities to bear on one another. This sometimes + happened, when Tobacco-Parliament was in luck. Friedrich Wilhelm had a + variety of Merry-Andrew Raths of the Gundling sort, though none ever came + up to Gundling, or approached him, in worth as a Merry-Andrew. + </p> + <p> + Herr Fassmann, who wrote Books, by Patronage or for the Leipzig + Booksellers, and wandered about the world as a star or comet of some + magnitude, is not much known to my readers:—but he is too well known + to me, for certain dark Books of his which I have had to read. [<i>Life of + Friedrich Wilhelm,</i> occasionally cited here; <i>Life of August the + Strong; </i> &c.] A very dim Literary Figure; undeniable, + indecipherable Human Fact, of those days; now fallen quite extinct and + obsolete; his garniture, equipment, environment all very dark to us. + Probably a too restless, imponderous creature, too much of the Gundling + type; structure of him GASEOUS, not solid; Perhaps a little of the coxcomb + naturally; much of the sycophant on compulsion,—being sorely jammed + into corners, and without elbow-room at all, in this world. Has, for the + rest, a recognizable talent for "Magazine writing,"—for Newspaper + editing, had that rich mine, "California of the Spiritually Vagabond," + been opened in those days. Poor extinct Fassmann, one discovers at last a + vein of weak geniality in him; here and there, real human sense and + eyesight, under those strange conditions; and his poor Books, rotted now + to inanity, have left a small seed-pearl or two, to the earnest reader. + Alas, if he WAS to become "spiritually vagabond" ("spiritually" and + otherwise), might it not perhaps be wholesome to him that the California + was NOT discovered?— + </p> + <p> + Fassmann was by no means such a fool as Gundling; but, he was much of a + fool too. He had come to Berlin, about this time, [1726, as he himself + says (supra p. 8).] in hopes of patronage from the King or somebody; might + say to himself, "Surely I am a better man than Gundling, if the Berlin + Court has eyesight." By the King, on some wise General's recommending it, + he was, as a preliminary, introduced to the Tabagie at least. Here is the + celebrated Gundling; there is the celebrated Fassmann. Positive + Leyden-jar, with negative close by: in each of these two men lodges a + full-charged fiery electric virtue of self-conceit; destructive each of + the other;—could a conductor be discovered. Conductors are + discoverable, conductors are not wanting; and many are the explosions + between these mutually-destructive human varieties;—welcomed with + hilarious, rather vacant, huge horse-laughter, in this Tobacco-Parliament + and Synod of the Houyhnhnms. + </p> + <p> + Of which take this acme; and then end. Fassmann, a fellow not without + sarcasm and sharpness, as you may still see, has one evening provoked + Gundling to the transcendent pitch,—till words are weak, and only + action will answer. Gundling, driven to the exploding point, suddenly + seizes his Dutch smoking-pan, of peat-charcoal ashes and red-hot sand; and + dashes it in the face of Fassmann; who is of course dreadfully astonished + thereby, and has got his very eyebrows burnt, not to speak of other + injuries. Stand to him, Fassmann! Fassmann stands to him tightly, being + the better man as well as the more satirical; grasps Gundling by the + collar, wrenches him about, lays him at last over his knee, sitting-part + uppermost; slaps said sitting-part (poor sitting-part that had broken the + ice of Wusterhausen) with the hot pan,—nay some say, strips it and + slaps. Amid the inextinguishable horse-laughter (sincere but vacant) of + the Houyhnhnm Olympus. + </p> + <p> + After which, his Majesty, as epilogue to such play, suggests, That feats + of that nature are unseemly among gentlemen; that when gentlemen have a + quarrel, there is another way of settling it. Fassmann thereupon + challenges Gundling; Gundling accepts; time and place are settled, pistols + the weapon. At the appointed time and place Gundling stands, accordingly, + pistol in hand; but at sight of Fassmann, throws his pistol away; will not + shoot any man, nor have any man shoot him. Fassmann sternly advances; + shoots his pistol (powder merely) into Gundling's sublime goat's-hair wig: + wig blazes into flame; Gundling falls shrieking, a dead man, to the earth; + and they quench and revive him with a bucket of water. Was there ever seen + such horse-play? Roaring laughter, huge, rude, and somewhat vacant, as + that of the Norse gods over their ale at Yule time;—as if the face + of the Sphinx were to wrinkle itself in laughter; or the fabulous + Houyhnhnms themselves were there to mock in their peculiar fashion. + </p> + <p> + His Majesty at length gave Gundling a wine-cask, duly figured; "painted + black with a white cross," which was to stand in his room as MEMENTO-MORI, + and be his coffin. It stood for ten years; Gundling often sitting to write + in it; a good screen against draughts. And the poor monster was actually + buried in this cask; [Died 11th April, 1731, age 58: description of the + Burial "at Bornstadt near Potsdam," in Forster, i. 276.] Fassmann + pronouncing some funeral oration,—and the orthodox clergy uttering, + from the distance, only a mute groan. "The Herr Baron von Gundling was a + man of many dignities, of much Book-learning; a man of great memory," + admits Fassmann, "but of no judgment," insinuates he,—"LOOKING FOR + the Judgment (EXPECTANS JUDICIUM)," says Fassmann, with a pleasant wit. + Fassmann succeeded to all the emoluments and honors; but did not hold + them; preferred to run away before long: and after him came one and the + other, whom the reader is not to be troubled with here. Enough if the + patient reader have seen, a little, into that background of Friedrich + Wilhelm's existence; and, for the didactic part, have caught up his real + views or instincts upon Spiritual Phosphorescence, or Stupidity grown + Vocal, which are much sounder than most of us suspect. + </p> + <p> + These were the sports of the Tobacco-Parliament; and it was always meant + primarily for sport, for recreation: but there is no doubt it had a + serious function as well. "Business matters," adds Beneckendorf, who had + means of knowing, [Benekendorf, <i>Karakterzuge,</i> i. 137-149; vi. 37.] + "were often a subject of colloquy in the TABAKS-COLLEGIUM. Not that they + were there finished off, decided upon, or meant to be so. But Friedrich + Wilhelm often purposely brought up such things in conversation there, that + he might learn the different opinions of his generals and chief men, + without their observing it,"—and so might profit by the Collective + Wisdom, in short. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + Chapter VIII. — SECKENDORF'S RETORT TO HER MAJESTY. + </h2> + <p> + The Treaty of Wusterhausen was not yet known to Queen Sophie, to her + Father George, or to any external creature: but that open flinching, and + gradual withdrawal, from the Treaty of Hanover was too well known; and + boded no good to her pet project. Female sighs, male obduracies, and other + domestic phenomena, are to be imagined in consequence. "A grand Britannic + Majesty indeed; very lofty Father to us, Madam, ever since he came to be + King of England: Stalking along there, with his nose in the air; not + deigning the least notice of us, except as of a thing that may be got to + fight for him! And he does not sign the Double-Marriage Treaty, Madam; + only talks of signing it,—as if we were a starved coach-horse, to be + quickened along by a wisp of hay put upon the coach-pole close ahead of us + always!"—"JARNI-BLEU!" snuffles Seckendorf with a virtuous zeal, or + looks it; and things are not pleasant at the royal dinner-table. + </p> + <p> + Excellenz Seckendorf, we find at this time, "often has his Majesty to + dinner:" and such dinners; fitting one's tastes in all points,—no + expense regarded (which indeed is the Kaiser's, if we knew it)! And in + return, Excellenz is frequently at dinner with his Majesty; where the + conversation; if it turn on England, which often happens, is more and more + an offence to Queen Sophie. Seckendorf studies to be polite, reserved + before the Queen's Majesty at her own table; yet sometimes he lisps out, + in his vile snuffling tone, half-insinuations, remarks on our Royal + Kindred, which are irritating in the extreme. Queen Sophie, the politest + of women, did once, says Pollnitz, on some excessive pressure of that + lisping snuffling unendurability, lose her royal patience and flame out. + With human frankness, and uncommonly kindled eyes, she signified to + Seckendorf, That none who was not himself a kind of scoundrel could + entertain such thoughts of Kings and gentlemen! Which hard saying kindled + the stiff-backed rheumatic soul of Seckendorf (Excellenz had withal a + temper in him, far down in the deeps); who answered: "Your Majesty, that + is what no one else thinks of me. That is a name I have never permitted + any one to give me with impunity." And verily, he kept his threat in that + latter point, says Pollnitz. [ii. 244.] + </p> + <p> + At this stage, it is becoming, in the nature of things, unlikely that the + projected Double-Marriage, or any union with England, can ever realize + itself for Queen Sophie and her House. The Kaiser has decreed that it + never shall. Here is the King already irritated, grown indisposed to it; + here is the Kaiser's Seckendorf, with preternatural Apparatus, come to + maintain him in that humor. To Queen Sophie herself, who saw only the + outside of Seckendorf and his Apparatus, the matter doubtless seemed big + with difficulties; but to us, who see the interior, the difficulties are + plainly hopeless. Unless the Kaiser's mind change, unless many fixed + things change, the Double-Marriage is impossible. + </p> + <p> + One thing only is a sorrow; and this proved an immeasurable one: That they + did not, that Queen Sophie did not, in such case, frankly give it up: + Double-Marriage is not a law of Nature; it is only a project at Hanover + that has gone off again. There will be a life for our Crown-Prince, and + Princess, without a marriage with England!-It is greatly wise to recognize + the impossible, the unreasonably difficult, when it presents itself: but + who of men is there, much more who of women that can always do it? + </p> + <p> + Queen Sophie Dorothee will have this Double-Marriage, and it shall be + possible. Pour Lady, she was very obstinate; and her Husband was very + arbitrary. A rough bear of a Husband, yet by no means an unloving one; a + Husband who might have been managed. She evidently made a great mistake in + deciding not to obey this man; as she had once vowed. By perfect prompt + obedience she might have had a very tolerable life with the rugged Orson + fallen to her lot; who was a very honest-hearted creature. She might have + done a pretty stroke of female work, withal, in taming her Orson; might + have led him by the muzzle far enough in a private way,—by + obedience. + </p> + <p> + But by disobedience, by rebellion open or secret? Friedrich Wilhelm was a + Husband; Friedrich Wilhelm was a King; and the most imperative man then + breathing. Disobedience to Friedrich Wilhelm was a thing which, in the + Prussian State, still more in the Berlin Schloss and vital heart of said + State, the laws of Heaven and of Earth had not permitted, for any man's or + any woman's sake, to be. The wide overarching sky looks down on no more + inflexible Sovereign Man than him in the red-collared blue coat and white + leggings, with the bamboo in his hand. A peaceable, capacious, not + ill-given Sovereign Man, if you will let him have his way. But to bar his + way; to tweak the nose of his sovereign royalty, and ignominiously force + him into another way: that is an enterprise no man or devil, or body of + men or devils, need attempt. Seckendorf and Grumkow, in + Tobacco-Parliament, understand it better. That attempt is impossible, once + for all. The first step in such attempt will require to be assassination + of Friedrich Wilhelm; for you may depend on it, royal Sophie, so long as + he is alive, the feat cannot be done. O royal Sophie, O pretty Feekin, + what a business you are making of it! + </p> + <p> + The year 1726 was throughout a troublous one to Queen Sophie. Seckendorf's + advent; King George's manifestoing; alarm of imminent universal War, nay + sputters of it actually beginning (Gibraltar invested by the Spaniards, + ready for besieging, it is said): nor was this all. Sophie's poor Mother, + worn to a tragic Megaera, locked so long in the Castle of Ahlden, has + taken up wild plans of outbreak, of escape by means of secretaries, moneys + in the Bank of Amsterdam, and I know not what; with all which Sophie, + corresponding in double and triple mystery, has her own terrors and + sorrows, trying to keep it down. And now, in the depth of the year, the + poor old Mother suddenly dies. [13th November, 1726: <i>Memoirs of Sophia + Dorothea, Consort of George I.</i> (i. 386),—where also some of her + concluding Letters ("edited" as if by the Nightmares) can be read, but + next to no sense made of them.] Burnt out in this manner, she collapses + into ashes and long rest; closing so her nameless tragedy of thirty years' + continuance:—what a Bluebeard-chamber in the mind of Sophie! Nay + there rise quarrels about the Heritage of the Deceased, which will prove + another sorrow. + </p> + <p> + END OF BOOK V <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of History Of Friedrich II. of Prussia, +Volume V. (of XXI.), by Thomas Carlyle + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II. *** + +***** This file should be named 2105-h.htm or 2105-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/0/2105/ + +Produced by D.R. Thompson + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: History Of Friedrich II. of Prussia, Volume V. (of XXI.) + Frederick The Great--Double-Marriage Project, And What + Element It Fell Into--1723-1726 + +Author: Thomas Carlyle + +Posting Date: June 13, 2008 [EBook #2105] +Release Date: March 2000 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II. *** + + + + +Produced by D.R. Thompson + + + + + +HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II OF PRUSSIA + +FREDERICK THE GREAT + +By Thomas Carlyle + + + + +BOOK V.--DOUBLE-MARRIAGE PROJECT, AND WHAT ELEMENT IT FELL INTO.--1723-1726. + + + + +Chapter I. -- DOUBLE-MARRIAGE IS DECIDED ON. + +We saw George I. at Berlin in October, 1723, looking out upon his +little Grandson drilling the Cadets there; but we did not mention what +important errand had brought his Majesty thither. + +Visits between Hanover and Berlin had been frequent for a long time +back; the young Queen of Prussia, sometimes with her husband, sometimes +without, running often over to see her Father; who, even after his +accession to the English crown, was generally for some months every year +to be met with in those favorite regions of his. He himself did not much +visit, being of taciturn splenetic nature: but this once he had agreed +to return a visit they had lately made him,--where a certain weighty +Business had been agreed upon, withal; which his Britannic Majesty +was to consummate formally, by treaty, when the meeting in Berlin took +effect. His Britannic Majesty, accordingly, is come; the business in +hand is no other than that thrice-famous "Double-Marriage" of Prussia +with England; which once had such a sound in the ear of Rumor, and still +bulks so big in the archives of the Eighteenth Century; which worked +such woe to all parties concerned in it; and is, in fact, a first-rate +nuisance in the History of that poor Century, as written hitherto. +Nuisance demanding urgently to be abated;--were that well possible at +present. Which, alas, it is not, to any great degree; there being an +important young Friedrich inextricably wrapt up in it, to whom it was of +such vital or almost fatal importance! Without a Friedrich, the affair +could be reduced to something like its real size, and recorded in a +few pages; or might even, with advantage, be forgotten altogether, and +become zero. More gigantic instance of much ado about nothing has seldom +occurred in human annals;--had not there been a Friedrich in the heart +of it. + +Crown-Prince Friedrich is still very young for marriage-speculations on +his score: but Mamma has thought good to take matters in time. And so +we shall, in the next ensuing parts of this poor History, have to hear +almost as much about Marriage as in the foolishest Three-volume Novel, +and almost to still less purpose. For indeed, in that particular, +Friedrich's young Life may be called a ROMANCE FLUNG HELLS-OVER-HEAD; +Marriage being the one event there, round which all events turn,--but +turn in the inverse or reverse way (as if the Devil were in them); not +only towards no happy goal for him or Mamma, or us, but at last towards +hardly any goal at all for anybody! So mad did the affair grow;--and is +so madly recorded in those inextricable, dateless, chaotic Books. We +have now come to regions of Narrative, which seem to consist of murky +Nothingness put on boil; not land, or water, or air, or fire, but a +tumultuously whirling commixture of all the four;--of immense extent +too. Which must be got crossed, in some human manner. Courage, patience, +good reader! + + + + +QUEEN SOPHIE DOROTHEE HAS TAKEN TIME BY THE FORELOCK. + +Already, for a dozen years, this matter has been treated of. Queen +Sophie Dorothee, ever since the birth of her Wilhelmina, has had the +notion of it; and, on her first visit afterwards to Hanover, proposed +it to "Princess Caroline,"--Queen Caroline of England who was to be, and +who in due course was;--an excellent accomplished Brandenburg-Anspach +Lady, familiar from of old in the Prussian Court: "You, Caroline, Cousin +dear, have a little Prince, Fritz, or let us call him FRED, since he is +to be English; little Fred, who will one day, if all go right, be King +of England. He is two years older than my little Wilhelmina: why should +not they wed, and the two chief Protestant Houses, and Nations, thereby +be united?" Princess Caroline was very willing; so was Electress Sophie, +the Great-Grandmother of both the parties; so were the Georges, Father +and Grandfather of Fred: little Fred himself was highly charmed, when +told of it; even little Wilhelmina, with her dolls, looked pleasantly +demure on the occasion. So it remained settled in fact, though not in +form; and little Fred (a florid milk-faced foolish kind of Boy, I guess) +made presents to his little Prussian Cousin, wrote bits of love-letters +to her; and all along afterwards fancied himself, and at length ardently +enough became, her little lover and intended,--always rather a little +fellow:--to which sentiments Wilhelmina signifies that she responded +with the due maidenly indifference, but not in an offensive manner. + +After our Prussian Fritz's birth, the matter took a still closer form: +"You, dear Princess Caroline, you have now two little Princesses again, +either of whom might suit my little Fritzchen; let us take Amelia, the +second of them, who is nearest his age?" "Agreed!" answered Princess +Caroline again. "Agreed!" answered all the parties interested: and so it +was settled, that the Marriage of Prussia to England should be a Double +one, Fred of Hanover and England to Wilhelmina, Fritz of Prussia to +Amelia; and children and parents lived thenceforth in the constant +understanding that such, in due course of years, was to be the case, +though nothing yet was formally concluded by treaty upon it. [Pollnitz, +_Memoiren,_ ii. 193.] + +Queen Sophie Dorothee of Prussia was always eager enough for treaty, and +conclusion to her scheme. True to it, she, as needle to the pole in +all weathers; sometimes in the wildest weather, poor lady. Nor did the +Hanover Serene Highnesses, at any time, draw back or falter: but +having very soon got wafted across to England, into new more complex +conditions, and wider anxieties in that new country, they were not so +impressively eager as Queen Sophie, on this interesting point. Electress +Sophie, judicious Great-Grandmother, was not now there: Electress Sophie +had died about a month before Queen Anne; and never saw the English +Canaan, much as she had longed for it. George I., her son, a taciturn, +rather splenetic elderly Gentleman, very foreign in England, and +oftenest rather sulky there and elsewhere, was not in a humor to be +forward in that particular business. + +George I. had got into quarrel with his Prince of Wales, Fred's +Father,--him who is one day to be George II., always a rather foolish +little Prince, though his Wife Caroline was Wisdom's self in a +manner:--George I. had other much more urgent cares than that of +marrying his disobedient foolish little Prince of Wales's offspring; and +he always pleaded difficulties, Acts of Parliament that would be needed, +and the like, whenever Sophie Dorothee came to visit him at Hanover, and +urge this matter. The taciturn, inarticulately thoughtful, rather sulky +old Gentleman, he had weighty burdens lying on him; felt fretted and +galled, in many ways; and had found life, Electoral and even Royal, +a deceptive sumptuosity, little better than a more or less extensive +"feast of SHELLS," next to no real meat or drink left in it to the +hungry heart of man. Wife sitting half-frantic in the Castle of Ahlden, +waxing more and more into a gray-haired Megaera (with whom Sophie +Dorothee under seven seals of secrecy corresponds a little, and even +the Prince of Wales is suspected of wishing to correspond); a foolish +disobedient Prince of Wales; Jacobite Pretender people with their Mar +Rebellions, with their Alberoni combinations; an English Parliament +jangling and debating unmelodiously, whose very language is a mystery to +us, nothing but Walpole in dog-latin to help us through it: truly it is +not a Heaven-on-Earth altogether, much as Mother Sophie and her foolish +favorite, our disobedient Prince of Wales, might long for it! And the +Hanover Tail, the Robethons, Bernstorfs, Fabrices, even the Blackamoor +Porters,--they are not beautiful either, to a taciturn Majesty of some +sense, if he cared about their doings or them. Voracious, plunderous, +all of them; like hounds, long hungry, got into a rich house which has +no master, or a mere imaginary one. "MENTERIS IMPUDENTISSIME," said +Walpole in his dog-latin once, in our Royal presence, to one of these +official plunderous gentlemen, "You tell an impudent lie!"--at which we +only laughed. [Horace Walpole, _Reminiscences of George I. and George +II._ (London, 1786.)] + +His Britannic Majesty by no means wanted sense, had not his situation +been incurably absurd. In his young time he had served creditably enough +against the Turks; twice commanded the REICHS-Army in the Marlborough +Wars, and did at least testify his indignation at the inefficient state +of it. His Foreign Politics, so called, were not madder than those of +others. Bremen and Verden he had bought a bargain; and it was natural to +protect them by such resources as he had, English or other. Then there +was the World-Spectre of the Pretender, stretching huge over Creation, +like the Brocken-Spectre in hazy weather;--against whom how protect +yourself, except by cannonading for the Kaiser at Messina; by rushing +into every brabble that rose, and hiring the parties with money to fight +it out well? It was the established method in that matter; method not +of George's inventing, nor did it cease with George. As to Domestic +Politics, except it were to keep quiet, and eat what the gods had +provided, one does not find that he had any.--The sage Leibnitz would +very fain have followed him to England; but, for reasons indifferently +good, could never be allowed. If the truth must be told, the sage +Leibnitz had a wisdom which now looks dreadfully like that of a +wiseacre! In Mathematics even,--he did invent the Differential Calculus, +but it is certain also he never could believe in Newton's System of the +Universe, nor would read the PRINCIPIA at all. For the rest, he was +in quarrel about Newton with the Royal Society here; ill seen, it is +probable, by this sage and the other. To the Hanover Official Gentlemen +devouring their English dead-horse, it did not appear that his presence +could be useful in these parts. [Guhrauer, _Gottfried Freiherr von +Leibnitz, eine Biographie_ (Breslau, 1842); Ker of Kersland, _Memoirs +of Secret Transactions_ (London, 1727)]. + +Nor are the Hanover womankind his Majesty has about him, quasi-wives or +not, of a soul-entrancing character; far indeed from that. Two in chief +there are, a fat and a lean: the lean, called "Maypole" by the English +populace, is "Duchess of Kendal," with excellent pension, in the +English Peeragy; Schulenburg the former German name of her; decidedly +a quasi-wife (influential, against her will, in that sad Konigsmark +Tragedy, at Hanover long since), who is fallen thin and old. +"Maypole,"--or bare Hop-pole, with the leaves all stript; lean, long, +hard;--though she once had her summer verdures too; and still, as an +old quasi-wife, or were it only as an old article of furniture, has her +worth to the royal mind, Schulenburgs, kindred of hers, are high in the +military line; some of whom we may meet. + +Then besides this lean one, there is a fat; of whom Walpole (Horace, who +had seen her in boyhood) gives description. Big staring black eyes, with +rim of circular eyebrow, like a coach-wheel round its nave, very +black the eyebrows also; vast red face; cheeks running into neck, neck +blending indistinguishably with stomach,--a mere cataract of fluid +tallow, skinned over and curiously dizened, according to Walpole's +portraiture. This charming creature, Kielmannsegge by German name, was +called "Countess of Darlington" in this country--with excellent pension, +as was natural. They all had pensions: even Queen Sophie Dorothee, I +have noticed in our State-Paper Office, has her small pension, "800 +pounds a year on the Irish Establishment:" Irish Establishment will +never miss such a pittance for our poor Child, and it may be useful +over yonder!--This Kielmannsegge, Countess of Darlington was, and is, +believed by the gossiping English to have been a second simultaneous +Mistress of his Majesty's; but seems, after all, to have been his +Half-Sister and nothing more. Half-Sister (due to Gentleman Ernst and +a Countess Platen of bad Hanover fame); grown dreadfully fat; but not +without shrewdness, perhaps affection; and worth something in this dull +foreign country, mere cataract of animal oils as she has become. These +Two are the amount of his Britannic Majesty's resources in that matter; +resources surely not extensive, after all!-- + +His Britannic Majesty's day, in St. James's, is not of an interesting +sort to him; and every evening he comes precisely at a certain hour to +drink beer, seasoned with a little tobacco, and the company of these two +women. Drinks diligently in a sipping way, says Horace; and smokes, +with such dull speech as there may be,--not till he is drunk, but only +perceptibly drunkish; raised into a kind of cloudy narcotic Olympus, +and opaquely superior to the ills of life; in which state he walks +uncomplainingly to bed. Government, when it can by any art be avoided, +he rarely meddles with; shows a rugged sagacity, where he does and must +meddle: consigns it to Walpole in dog-latin,--laughs at his "MENTIRIS." +This is the First George; first triumph of the Constitutional Principle, +which has since gone to such sublime heights among us,--heights which we +at last begin to suspect might be depths, leading down, all men now ask: +Whitherwards? A much-admired invention in its time, that of letting +go the rudder, or setting a wooden figure expensively dressed to take +charge of it, and discerning that the ship would sail of itself so much +more easily! Which it will, if a peculiarly good seaboat, in certain +kinds of sea,--for a time. Till the Sinbad "Magnetic Mountains" begin to +be felt pulling, or the circles of Charybdis get you in their sweep; and +then what an invention it was!--This, we say, is the new Sovereign Man, +whom the English People, being in some perplexity about the Pope and +other points, have called in from Hanover, to walk before them in the +ways of heroism, and by command and by example guide Heavenwards their +affairs and them. And they hope that he will do it? Or perhaps that +their affairs will go thither of their own accord? Always a singular +People!-- + +Poor George, careless of these ulterior issues, has always trouble +enough with the mere daily details, Parliamentary insolences, Jacobite +plottings, South-Sea Bubbles; and wishes to hunt, when he gets over to +Hanover, rather than to make Marriage-Treaties. Besides, as Wilhelmina +tells us, they have filled him with lies, these Hanover Women and +their emissaries: "Your Princess Wilhelmina is a monster of ill-temper, +crooked in the back and what not," say they. If there is to be a +Marriage, double or single, these Improper Females must first be +persuaded to consent. [_Memoires de Bareith._] Difficulties enough. And +there is none to help; Friedrich Wilhelm cares little about the matter, +though he has given his Yes,--Yes, since you will. + +But Sophie Dorothee is diligent and urgent, by all opportunities;--and, +at length, in 1723, the conjuncture is propitious. Domestic Jacobitism, +in the shape of Bishop Atterbury, has got, itself well banished; +Alberoni and his big schemes, years ago they are blown into outer +darkness; Charles XII. is well dead, and of our Bremen and Verden no +question henceforth; even the Kaiser's Spectre-Hunt, or Spanish Duel, +is at rest for the present, and the Congress of Cambrai is sitting, or +trying all it can to sit: at home or abroad, there is nothing, not even +Wood's Irish Halfpence, as yet making noise. And on the other hand, Czar +Peter is rumored (not without foundation) to be coming westward, with +some huge armament; which, whether "intended for Sweden" or not, renders +a Prussian alliance doubly valuable. + +And so now at last, in this favorable aspect of the stars, King George, +over at Herrenhausen, was by much management of his Daughter Sophie's, +and after many hitches, brought to the mark. And Friedrich Wilhelm came +over too; ostensibly to bring home his Queen, but in reality to hear +his Father-in-law's compliance to the Double-Marriage,--for which his +Prussian Majesty is willing enough, if others are willing. Praised be +Heaven, King George has agreed to everything; consents, one propitious +day (Autumn 1723, day not otherwise dated),--Czar Peter's Armament, and +the questionable aspects in France, perhaps quickening his volitions +a little. Upon which Friedrich Wilhelm and Queen Sophie have returned +home, content in that matter; and expect shortly his Britannic Majesty's +counter-visit, to perfect the details, and make a Treaty of it. + +His Britannic Majesty, we say, has in substance agreed to everything. +And now, in the silence of Nature, the brown leaves of October still +hanging to the trees in a picturesque manner, and Wood's Halfpence +not yet begun to jingle in the Drapier's Letters of Dean Swift,--his +Britannic Majesty is expected at Berlin. At Berlin; properly at +Charlottenburg a pleasant rural or suburban Palace (built by his +Britannic Majesty's late noble Sister, Sophie Charlotte, "the Republican +Queen," and named after her, as was once mentioned), a mile or two +Southwest of that City. There they await King George's counter-visit. + +Poor Wilhelmina is in much trepidation about it; and imparts her poor +little feelings, her anticipations and experiences, in readable terms:-- + +"There came, in those weeks, one of the Duke of Gloucester's gentlemen +to Berlin,"--DUKE OF GLOUCESTER is Fred our intended, not yet Prince of +Wales, and if the reader should ever hear of a DUKE OF EDINBURGH, +that too is Fred,--"Duke of Gloucester's gentlemen to Berlin," says +Wilhelmina: "the Queen had Soiree (APPARTEMENT); he was presented to her +as well as to me. He made me a very obliging compliment on his Master's +part; I blushed, and answered only by a courtesy. The Queen, who had her +eye on me, was very angry I had answered the Duke's compliments in mere +silence; and rated me sharply (ME LAVA LA TETE D'IMPORTANCE) for it; +and ordered me, under pain of her indignation, to repair that fault +to-morrow. I retired, all in tears, to my room; exasperated against the +Queen and against the Duke; I swore I would never marry him, would throw +myself at the feet--" And so on, as young ladies of vivacious temper, +in extreme circumstances, are wont:--did speak, however, next day, to +my Hanover gentleman about his Duke, a little, though in an embarrassed +manner. Alas, I am yet but fourteen, gone the 3d of July last: tremulous +as aspen-leaves; or say, as sheet-lightning bottled in one of the +thinnest human skins; and have no experience of foolish Dukes and +affairs!-- + +"Meanwhile," continues Wilhelmina, "the King of England's time of +arrival was drawing nigh. We repaired, on the 6th of October, to +Charlottenburg to receive him. The heart of me kept beating, and I +was in cruel agitations. King George [my Grandfather, and Grand Uncle] +arrived on the 8th, about seven in the evening;"--dusky shades already +sinking over Nature everywhere, and all paths growing dim. Abundant +flunkies, of course, rush out with torches or what is needful. "The King +of Prussia, the Queen and all their Suite received him in the Court of +the Palace, the 'Apartments' being on the ground-floor. So soon as he +had saluted the King and Queen, I was presented to him. He embraced me; +and turning to the Queen said to her, 'Your daughter is very big of +her age!' He gave the Queen his hand, and led her into her apartment, +whither everybody followed them. As soon as I came in, he took a light +from the table, and surveyed me from head to foot. I stood motionless as +a statue, and was much put out of countenance. All this went on without +his uttering the least word. Having thus passed me in review, he +addressed himself to my Brother, whom he caressed much, and amused +himself with, for a good while." Pretty little Grandson this, your +Majesty;--any future of history in this one, think you? "I," says +Wilhelmina, "took the opportunity of slipping out;"--hopeful to get +away; but could not, the Queen having noticed. + +"The Queen made me a sign to follow her; and passed into a neighboring +apartment, where she had the English and Germans of King George's Suite +successively presented to her. After some talk with these gentlemen, she +withdrew; leaving me to entertain them, and saying: 'Speak English to +my Daughter; you will find she speaks it very well.' I felt much less +embarrassed, once the Queen was gone; and picking up a little courage, I +entered into conversation with these English. As I spoke their language +like my mother-tongue, I got pretty well out of the affair, and +everybody seemed charmed with me. They made my eulogy to the Queen; told +her I had quite the English air, and was made to be their Sovereign one +day. It was saying a great deal on their part: for these English think +themselves so much above all other people, that they imagine they are +paying a high compliment when they tell any one he has got English +manners. + +"Their King [my Grandpapa] had got Spanish manners, I should say: he was +of an extreme gravity, and hardly spoke a word to anybody. He saluted +Madam Sonsfeld [my invaluable thrice-dear Governess] very coldly; +and asked her 'If I was always so serious, and if my humor was of the +melancholy turn?' 'Anything but that, Sire,' answered the other: +'but the respect she has for your Majesty prevents her from being as +sprightly as she commonly is.' He wagged his head, and answered nothing. +The reception he had given me, and this question, of which I heard, gave +me such a chill, that I never had the courage to speak to him,"--was +merely looked at with a candle by Grandpapa. + +"We were summoned to supper at last, where this grave Sovereign still +remained dumb. Perhaps he was right, perhaps he was wrong; but I think +he followed the proverb, which says, Better hold your tongue than speak +badly. At the end of the repast he felt indisposed. The Queen would have +persuaded him to quit table; they bandied compliments a good while on +the point; but at last she threw down her napkin, and rose. The King of +England naturally rose too; but began to stagger; the King of Prussia +ran up to help him, all the company ran bustling about him; but it was +to no purpose: he sank on his knees; his peruke falling on one side, and +his hat [or at least his head, Madam!] on the other. They stretched +him softly on the floor; where he remained a good hour without +consciousness. The pains they took with him brought back his senses, by +degrees, at last. The Queen and the King [of Prussia] were in despair +all this while. Many have thought this attack was a herald of the stroke +of apoplexy which came by and by,"--within four years from this date, +and carried off his Majesty in a very gloomy manner. + +"They passionately entreated him to retire now," continues Wilhelmina; +"but he would not by any means. He led out the Queen, and did the other +ceremonies, according to rule; had a very bad night, as we learned +underhand;" but persisted stoically nevertheless, being a crowned +Majesty, and bound to it. He stoically underwent four or three other +days, of festival, sight-seeing, "pleasure" so called;--among other +sights, saw little Fritz drilling his Cadets at Berlin;--and on the +fourth day (12th October, 1723, so thinks Wilhelmina) fairly "signed +the Treaty of the Double-Marriage," English Townshend and the Prussian +Ministry having settled all things. [Wilhelmina, _Memoires de Bareith,_ +i. 83, 87,--In Coxe (_Memoirs of Sir Robert Walpole,_ London, 1798), +ii. 266, 272, 273, are some faint hints, from Townshend, of this Berlin +journey.] + +"Signed the Treaty," thinks Wilhelmina, "all things being settled." +Which is an error on the part of Wilhelmina. Settled many or all +things were by Townshend and the others: but before signing, there was +Parliament to be apprised, there were formalities, expenditure of time; +between the cup and the lip, such things to intervene;--and the sad fact +is, the Double-Marriage Treaty never was signed at all!--However, all +things being now settled ready for signing, his Britannic Majesty, next +morning, set off for the GOHRDE again, to try if there were any hunting +possible. + +This authentic glimpse, one of the few that are attainable, of their +first Constitutional King, let English readers make the most of. The act +done proved dreadfully momentous to our little Friend, his Grandson; and +will much concern us! + +Thus, at any rate, was the Treaty of the Double-Marriage settled, to the +point of signing,--thought to be as good as signed. It was at the +time when Czar Peter was making armaments to burn Sweden; when +Wood's Halfpence (on behalf of her Improper Grace of Kendal, the lean +Quasi-Wife, "Maypole" or Hop-pole, who had run short of money, as she +often did) were about beginning to jingle in Ireland; [Coxe (i. 216, +217, and SUPPLY the dates); Walpole to Townshend, 13th October, 1723 +(ib. ii. 275): _"The Drapier's Letters"_ are of 1724.] when Law's Bubble +"System" had fallen, well flaccid, into Chaos again; when Dubois the +unutterable Cardinal had at length died, and d'Orleans the unutterable +Regent was unexpectedly about to do so,--in a most surprising +Sodom-and-Gomorrah manner. [2d December, 1723: Barbier, _Journal +Historique du Regne de Louis XV. _ (Paris, 1847), i. 192, 196; +Lacretelle, _Histoire de France, 18me siecle;_ &c.] Not to mention other +dull and vile phenomena of putrid fermentation, which were transpiring, +or sluttishly bubbling up, in poor benighted rotten Europe here or +there;--since these are sufficient to date the Transaction for us; and +what does not stick to our Fritz and his affairs it is more pleasant to +us to forget than to remember, of such an epoch. + +Hereby, for the present, is a great load rolled from Queen Sophie +Dorothee's heart. One, and, that the highest, of her abstruse +negotiations, cherished, labored in, these fourteen years, she has +brought to a victorious issue,--has she not? Her poor Mother, once so +radiant, now so dim and angry, shut in the Castle of Ahlden, does not +approve this Double-Marriage; not she for her part;--as indeed evil to +all Hanoverian interests is now chiefly her good, poor Lady; and she is +growing more and more of a Megaera every day. With whom Sophie Dorothee +has her own difficulties and abstruse practices; but struggles always +to maintain, under seven-fold secrecy, some thread of correspondence and +pious filial ministration wherever possible; that the poor exasperated +Mother, wretchedest and angriest of women, be not quite cut off from the +kinship of the living, but that some soft breath of pity may cool her +burning heart now and then. [In _Memoirs of Sophia Dorothea_ (London, +1845), ii. 385, 393, are certain fractions of this Correspondence, +"edited" in an amazing manner.] A dark tragedy of Sophie's, this; the +Bluebeard Chamber of her mind, into which no eye but her own must ever +look. + + + + +PRINCESS AMELIA COMES INTO THE WORLD. + +In reference to Queen Sophie, and chronologically if not otherwise +connected with this Double-Marriage Treaty, I will mention one +other thing. Her Majesty had been in fluctuating health, all summer; +unaccountable symptoms turning up in her Majesty's constitution, +languors, qualms, especially a tendency to swelling or increase of size, +which had puzzled and alarmed her Doctors and her. Friedrich Wilhelm, +on conclusion of the Marriage-Treaty, had been appointed to join his +Father-in-law, Britannic George, at the Gohrde, in some three weeks' +time, and have a bout of hunting. On the 8th of November, bedtime +being come, he kissed his Wilhelmina and the rest, by way of good-by; +intending to start very early on the morrow:--long journey (150 miles or +so), to be done all in one day. In the dead of the night, Queen +Sophie was seized with dreadful colics,--pangs of colic or who knows +what;--Friedrich Wilhelm is summoned; rises in the highest alarm; none +but the maids and he at hand to help; and the colic, or whatever it may +be, gets more and more dreadful. + +Colic? O poor Sophie, it is travail, and no colic; and a clever young +Princess is suddenly the result! None but Friedrich Wilhelm and the maid +for midwives; mother and infant, nevertheless, doing perfectly well. +Friedrich Wilhelm did not go on the morrow, but next day; laughed, ever +and anon in loud hahas, at the part he had been playing; and was very +glad and merry. How the experienced Sophie, whose twelfth child this +is, came to commit such an oversight is unaccountable; but the fact is +certain, and made a merry noise in Court circles. [Pollnitz, ii. 199; +Wilhelmina, i. 87, 88.] + +The clever little Princess, now born in this manner, is known by name +to idle readers. She was christened AMELIA; and we shall hear of her in +time coming. But there was, as the Circulating Libraries still intimate, +a certain loud-spoken braggart of the histrionic-heroic sort, called +Baron Trenck, windy, rash, and not without mendacity, who has endeavored +to associate her with his own transcendent and not undeserved ill-luck; +hinting the poor Princess into a sad fame in that way. For which, +it would now appear, there was no basis whatever! Most condemnable +Trenck;--whom, however, Robespierre guillotined finally, and so settled +that account and others. + +Of Sophie Dorothee's twelve children, including this Amelia, there are +now eight living, two boys, six girls; and after Amelia, two others, +boys, are successively to come: ten in all, who grew to be men and +women. Of whom perhaps I had better subjoin a List; now that the eldest +Boy and Girl are about to get settled in life; and therewith close this +Chapter. + + + + +FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S TEN CHILDREN. + +Marriage to Sophie Dorothee, 28th November, 1706. + +A little Prince, born 23d November, 1707, died in six months. Then came, + +1. FREDERIKA SOPHIE WILHELMINA, ultimately Margravine of Baireuth, after +strange adventures in the marriage-treaty way. Wrote her _Memoires_ +there, about 1744. Of whom we shall hear much. Left a Daughter, her one +child; Daughter badly married, to "Karl reigning Duke of Wurtemberg" +(Poet Schiller's famous Serene Highness there), from whom she had to +separate, &c., with anger enough, by and by. + +After Wilhelmina in the Family series came a second Prince, who died in +the eleventh month. Then, 24th January, 1712, + +2. FRIEDRICH. + +After whom (1713) a little Princess, who died in few months. And then, + +3. FREDERIKA LOUISA, born 28th September, 1714; age now about nine. +Margravine of Anspach, 30th May, 1729; Widow 1757. Her one Son, born +1736, was the LADY-CRAVEN'S Anspach. Frederika Louisa died 4th February, +1734. + +4. PHILIPPINA CHARLOTTE, born 13th of March, 1716; became Duchess of +Brunswick (her Husband was Eldest Brother of the "Prince Ferdinand" +so famous in England in the Seven-Years War); her Son was the Duke who +invaded France in 1792, and was tragically hurled to ruin in the Battle +of Jena, 1806. The Mother lived till 1801; Widow since 1780. + +After whom, in 1717, again a little Prince, who died within two years +(our Fritz then seven,--probably the first time Death ever came before +him, practically into his little thoughts in this world): then, + +5. SOPHIE DOROTHEE MARIA, born 25th January, 1719; Margravine of +Schwedt, 1734 (eldest Magraf of Schwedt, mentioned above as a comrade of +the Crown-Prince). Her life not very happy; she died 1765. Left no son +(Brother-in-law succeeded, last of the Schwedt MARGRAVES): her +Daughter, wedded to Prince Friedrich Eugen, a Prussian Officer, Cadet +of Wurtemberg and ultimately Heir there, is Ancestress of the Wurtemberg +Sovereignties that now are, and also (by one of HER daughters married to +Paul of Russia) of all the Czar kindred of our time. [Preuss, iv. 278; +Erman, _Vie de Sophie Charlotte,_ p. 2722.] + +6. LOUISA ULRIQUE, born 24th July, 1720; married Adolf Friedrich, +Heir-Apparent, subsequemly King of Sweden, 17th July, 1744; Queen (he +having acceded) 6th April, 1751; Widow 1771; died, at Stockholm, 16th +July, 1782. Mother of the subsequent Kings; her Grandson the DEPOSED> +[OErtel, p. 83; Hubner, tt. 91, 227.] + +7. AUGUST WILHELM, born 9th August, 1722; Heir-Apparent after Friedrich +(so declared by Friedrich, 30th June, 1744); Father of the Kings who +have since followed. He himself died, in sad circumstances, as we shall +see, 12th June, 1758. + +8. ANNA AMELIA, born 9th November, 1723,--on the terms we have seen. + +9. FRIEDRICH HEINRICH LUDWIG, born 18th January, 1726;--the famed Prince +Henri, of whom we shall hear. + +10. AUGUST FERDINAND, born 23d May, 1730: a brilliant enough little +soldier under his Brother, full of spirit and talent, but liable to weak +health;--was Father of the "Prince Louis Ferdinand," a tragic Failure +of something considerable, who went off in Liberalism, wit, in high +sentiment, expenditure and debauchery, greatly to the admiration of some +persons; and at length rushed desperate upon the Frenoh, and found his +quietus (10th October, 1806), four days before the Battle of Jena. + + + + +Chapter II. -- A KAISER HUNTING SHADOWS. + +Treaty of Double-Marriage is ready for signing, once the needful +Parliamentary preludings are gone through; Treaty is signed, thinks +Wilhelmina,--forgetting the distance between cup and lip!--As to +signing, or even to burning, and giving up the thought of signing, alas, +how far are we yet from that! Imperial spectre-huntings and the politics +of most European Cabinets will connect themselves with that; and send +it wandering wide enough,--lost in such a jungle of intrigues, +pettifoggings, treacheries, diplomacies domestic and foreign, as the +course of true-love never got entangled in before. + +The whole of which extensive Cabinet operations, covering square miles +of paper at this moment,--having nevertheless, after ten years of +effort, ended in absolute zero,--were of no worth even to the managers +of them; and are of less than none to any mortal now or henceforth. So +that the method of treating them becomes a problem to History. To pitch +them utterly out of window, and out of memory, never to be mentioned in +human speech again: this is the manifest prompting of Nature;--and this, +were not our poor Crown-Prince and one or two others involved in them, +would be our ready and thrice-joyful course. Surely the so-called +"Politics of Europe" in that day are a thing this Editor would otherwise +with his whole soul, forget to all eternity! "Putrid fermentation," +ending, after the endurance of much mal-odor, in mere zero to you and +to every one, even to the rotting bodies themselves:--is there any wise +Editor that would connect himself with that? These are the fields of +History which are to be, so soon as humanly possible, SUPPRESSED; which +only Mephistopheles, or the bad Genius of Mankind, can contemplate with +pleasure. + +Let us strive to touch lightly the chief summits, here and there, of +that intricate, most empty, mournful Business,--which was really once +a Fact in practical Europe, not the mere nightmare of an Attorney's +Dream;--and indicate, so far as indispensable, how the young Friedrich, +Friedrich's Sister, Father, Mother, were tribulated, almost heart-broken +and done to death, by means of it. + + + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY ON THE TREATY OF UTRECHT. + +Kaiser Karl VI., head of the Holy Romish Empire at this time, was a +handsome man to look upon; whose life, full of expense, vicissitude, +futile labor and adventure, did not prove of much use to the world. +Describable as a laborious futility rather. He was second son of that +little Leopold, the solemn little Herr in red stockings, who had such +troubles, frights, and runnings to and fro with the sieging Turks, +liberative Sobieskis, acquisitive Louis Fourteenths; and who at length +ended in a sea of futile labor, which they call the Spanish Succession +War. + +This Karl, second son, had been appointed "King of Spain" in that futile +business; and with much sublimity, though internally in an impoverished +condition, he proceeded towards Spain, landing in England to get cash +for the outfit;--arrived in Spain; and roved about there as Titular-King +for some years, with the fighting Peterboroughs, Galways, Stahrembergs; +but did no good there, neither he nor his Peterboroughs. At length, his +Brother Joseph, Father Leopold's successor, having died, [17th April, +1711.] Karl came home from Spain to be Kaiser. At which point, Karl +would have been wise to give up his Titular Kingship in Spain; for he +never got, nor will get, anything but futile labor from hanging to it. +He did hang to it nevertheless; and still, at this date of George's +visit and long afterwards, hangs,--with notable obstinacy. To the woe of +men and nations: punishment doubtless of his sins and theirs!-- + +Kaiser Karl shrieked mere amazement and indignation, when the English +tired of fighting for him and it. When the English said to their great +Marlborough: "Enough, you sorry Marlborough! You have beaten Louis XIV. +to the suppleness of wash-leather, at our bidding; that is true, and +that may have had its difficulties: but, after all, we prefer to have +the thing precisely as it would have been without any fighting. You, +therefore, what is the good of you? You are a--person whom we fling +out like sweepings, now that our eyesight returns, and accuse of common +stealing. Go and be--!" + +Nothing ever had so disgusted and astonished Kaiser Karl as this +treatment,--not of Marlborough, whom he regarded only as he would +have done a pair of military boots or a holster-pistol of superior +excellence, for the uses that were in him,--but of the Kaiser Karl his +own sublime self, the heart and focus of Political Nature; left in this +manner, now when the sordid English and Dutch declined spending blood +and money for him farther. "Ungrateful, sordid, inconceivable souls," +answered Karl, "was there ever, since the early Christian times, such +a martyr as you have now made of me!" So answered Karl, in diplomatic +groans and shrieks, to all ends of Europe. But the sulky English and +Allies, thoroughly tired of paying and bleeding, did not heed him; made +their Peace of Utrecht [Peace of Utrecht, 11th April, 1713; Peace of +Rastadt (following upon the Preliminaries of Baden), 6th March, 1714.] +with Louis XIV., who was now beaten supple; and Karl, after a year of +indignant protests and futile attempts to fight Louis on his own score, +was obliged to do the like. He has lost the Spanish crown; but still +holds by the shadow of it; will not quit that, if he can help it. He +hunts much, digests well; is a sublime Kaiser, though internally rather +poor, carrying his head high; and seems to himself, on some sides of his +life, a martyred much-enduring man. + + + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY HAS GOT HAPPILY WEDDED. + +Kaiser Karl, soon after the time of going to Spain had decided that a +Wife would be necessary. He applied to Caroline of Anspach, now English +Princess of Wales, but at that time an orphaned Brandenburg-Anspach +Princess, very Beautiful, graceful, gifted, and altogether unprovided +for; living at Berlin under the guardianship of Friedrich the first +King. Her young Mother had married again,--high enough match (to +Kur-Sachsen, elder Brother of August the Strong, August at that time +without prospects of the Electorate);--but it lasted short while: +Caroline's Mother and Saxon Stepfather were both now, long since, dead. +So she lived at Berlin brilliant though unportioned;--with the rough cub +Friedrich Wilhelm much following her about, and passionately loyal to +her, as the Beast was to Beauty; whom she did not mind except as a +cub loyal to her; being five years older than he. [Forster, i. 107.] +Indigent bright Caroline, a young lady of fine aquiline features and +spirit, was applied for to be Queen of Spain; wooer a handsome man, +who might even be Kaiser by and by. Indigent bright Caroline at once +answered, No. She was never very orthodox in Protestant theology; but +could not think of taking up Papistry for lucre's and ambition's sake: +be that always remembered on Caroline's behalf. + +The Spanish Majesty next applied at Brunswick Wolfenbuttel; no lack of +Princesses there: Princesa Elizabeth, for instance; Protestant she too, +but perhaps not so squeamish? Old Anton Ulrich, whom some readers know +for the idle Books, long-winded Novels chiefly, which he wrote, was the +Grandfather of this favored Princess; a good-natured old gentleman, of +the idle ornamental species, in whose head most things, it is likely, +were reduced to vocables, scribble and sentimentality; and only a steady +internal gravitation towards praise and pudding was traceable as +very real in him. Anton Ulrich, affronted more or less by the immense +advancement of Gentleman Ernst and the Hanoverian or YOUNGER Brunswick +Line, was extremely glad of the Imperial offer; and persuaded his timid +Grand-daughter, ambitious too, but rather conscience-stricken, That the +change from Protestant to Catholic, the essentials being so perfectly +identical in both, was a mere trifle; that he himself, old as he was, +would readily change along with her, so easy was it. Whereupon the +young Lady made the big leap; abjured her religion; [1st May, 1707, at +Bamberg.]--went to Spain as Queen (with sad injury to her complexion, +but otherwise successfully more or less);--and sits now as Empress +beside her Karl VI. in a grand enough, probably rather dull, but not +singularly unhappy manner. + +She, a Brunswick Princess, with Nephews and Nieces who may concern us, +is Kaiserinn to Kaiser Karl: for aught I know of her, a kindly simple +Wife, and unexceptionable Sovereign Majesty, of the sort wanted; whom +let us remember, if we meet her again one day. I add only of this poor +Lady, distinguished to me by a Daughter she had, that her mind still had +some misgivings about the big leap she had made in the Protestant-Papist +way. Finding Anton Ulrich still continue Protestant, she wrote to him +out of Spain:--"Why, O honored Grandpapa, have you not done as you +promised? Ah, there must be a taint of mortal sin in it, after all!" +Upon which the absurdly situated old Gentleman did change his +religion; and is marked as a Convert in all manner of Genealogies and +Histories;--truly an old literary gentleman ducal and serene, restored +to the bosom of the Church in a somewhat peculiarly ridiculous manner. +[Michaelis, i. 131.]--But to return. + + + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TERMAGANT OF SPAIN. + +Ever after the Peace of Utrecht, when England and Holland declined to +bleed for him farther, especially ever since his own Peace of Rastadt +made with Louis the year after Kaiser Karl had utterly lost hold of +the Crown of Spain; and had not the least chance to clutch that bright +substance again. But he held by the shadow of it, with a deadly Hapsburg +tenacity; refused for twenty years, under all pressures, to part with +the shadow: "The Spanish Hapsburg Branch is dead; whereupon do not I, +of the Austrian Branch, sole representative of Kaiser Karl the Fifth, +claim, by the law of Heaven, whatever he possessed in Spain, by law of +ditto? Battles of Blenheim of Malplaquet, Court-intrigues of Mrs. Masham +and the Duchess: these may bring Treaties of Utrecht, and what you are +pleased to call laws of Earth;--but a Hapsburg Kaiser knows higher laws, +if you would do a thousand Utrechts; and by these, Spain is his!" + +Poor Kaiser Karl: he had a high thought in him really though a most +misguided one. Titular King of Men; but much bewildered into mere +indolent fatuity, inane solemnity, high sniffing pride grounded on +nothing at all; a Kaiser much sunk in the sediments of his muddy +Epoch. Sure enough, he was a proud lofty solemn Kaiser, infinitely +the gentleman in air and humor; Spanish gravities, ceremonials, +reticences;--and could, in a better scene, have distinguished himself by +better than mere statuesque immovability of posture, dignified endurance +of ennui, and Hapsburg tenacity in holding the grip. It was not till +1735, after tusslings and wrenchings beyond calculation, that he would +consent to quit the Shadow of the Crown of Spain; and let Europe BE at +peace on that score. + +The essence of what is called the European History of this Period, such +History as a Period sunk dead in spirit, and alive only in stomach, can +have, turns all on Kaiser Karl, and these his clutchings at shadows. +Which makes a very sad, surprising History indeed; more worthy to be +called Phenomena of Putrid Fermentation, than Struggles of Human Heroism +to vindicate itself in this Planet, which latter alone are worthy of +recording as "History" by mankind. + +On the throne of Spain, beside Philip V. the melancholic new Bourbon, +Louis XIV.'s Grandson, sat Elizabeth Farnese, a termagant tenacious +woman, whose ambitious cupidities were not inferior in obstinacy to +Kaiser Karl's, and proved not quite so shadowy as his. Elizabeth also +wanted several things: renunciation of your (Kaiser Karl's) shadowy +claims; nay of sundry real usurpations you and your Treaties have made +on the actual possessions of Spain,--Kingdom of Sicily, for instance; +Netherlands, for instance; Gibraltar, for instance. But there is one +thing which, we observe, is indispensable throughout to Elizabeth +Farnese: the future settlement of her dear Boy Carlos. Carlos, whom as +Spanish Philip's second Wife she had given to Spain and the world, as +Second or supplementary INFANT there,--a troublesome gift to Spain and +others. + +"This dear Boy, surely he must have his Italian Apanages, which, you +have provided for him: Duchies of Parma and Piacenza, which will fall +heirless soon. Security for these Italian Apanages, such as will satisfy +a Mother: Let us introduce Spanish garrisons into Parma and Piacenza +at once! How else can we be certain of getting those indispensable +Apanages, when they fall vacant?" On this point Elizabeth Farnese was +positive, maternally vehement; would take no subterfuge, denial or +delay: "Let me perceive that I shall have these Duchies: that, first of +all; or else not that only, but numerous other things will be demanded +of you!" + +Upon which point the Kaiser too, who loved his Duchies, and hoped yet +to keep them by some turn of the game, never could decide to comply. +Whereupon Elizabeth grew more and more termagant; listened to wild +counsels; took up an Alberoni, a Ripperda, any wandering diplomatic +bull-dog that offered; and let them loose upon the Kaiser and her +other gainsayers. To the terror of mankind, lest universal war should +supervene. She held the Kaiser well at bay, mankind well in panic; and +continually there came on all Europe, for about twenty years, a terror +that war was just about to break out, and the whole world to take fire. +The History so called of Europe went canting from side to side; heeling +at a huge rate, according to the passes and lunges these two giant +figures, Imperial Majesty and the Termagant of Spain, made at one +another,--for a twenty years or more, till once the duel was decided +between them. + +There came next to no war, after all; sputterings of war twice +over,--1718, Byng at Messina, as we saw; and then, in 1727, a second +sputter, as we are to see:--but the neighbors always ran with buckets, +and got it quenched. No war to speak of; but such negotiating, +diplomatizing, universal hope, universal fear, and infinite ado about +nothing, as were seldom heard of before. For except Friedrich Wilhelm +drilling his 50,000 soldiers (80,000 gradually, and gradually even +twice that number), I see no Crowned Head in Europe that is not, with +immeasurable apparatus, simply doing ZERO. Alas, in an age of universal +infidelity to Heaven, where the Heavenly Sun has SUNK, there occur +strange Spectre-huntings. Which is a fact worth laying to heart.--Duel +of Twenty Years with Elizabeth Farnese, about the eventualities of Parma +and Piacensa, and the Shadow of the lost Crown of Spain; this was the +first grand Spectrality of Kaiser Karl's existence; but this was not the +whole of them. + + + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S PRAGMATIC SANCTION. + +Kaiser Karl meanwhile was rather short of heirs; which formed another +of his real troubles, and involved him in much shadow-hunting. His Wife, +the Serene Brunswick Empress whom we spoke of above, did at length bring +him children, brought him a boy even; but the boy died within the year; +and, on the whole, there remained nothing but two Daughters; Maria +Theresa the elder of them, born 1717,--the prettiest little maiden in +the world;--no son to inherit Kaiser Karl. Under which circumstances +Kaiser Karl produced now, in the Year 1724, a Document which he had +executed privately as long ago as 1713, only his Privy Councillors and +other Official witnesses knowing of it then; [19th April, 1713 (Stenzel, +iii. 5222).] and solemnly publishes it to the world, as a thing all men +are to take notice of. All men had notice enough of this Imperial bit +of Sheepskin, before they got done with it, five-and-twenty years hence. +[Peace of Aix-la-Chapelle, 1748.] A very famous Pragmatic Sanction; now +published for the world's comfort! + +By which Document, Kaiser Karl had formally settled, and fixed according +to the power he has, in the shape of what they call a Pragmatic +Sanction, or unalterable Ordinance in his Imperial House, "That, failing +Heirs-male, his Daughters, his Eldest Daughter, should succeed him; +failing Daughters, his Nieces; and in short, that Heirs-female ranking +from their kinship to Kaiser Karl, and not to any prior Kaiser, should +be as good as Heirs-male of Karl's body would have been." A Pragmatic +Sanction is the high name he gives this document, or the Act it +represents; "Pragmatic Sanction" being, in the Imperial Chancery and +some others, the received title for Ordinances of a very irrevocable +nature, which a sovereign makes, in affairs that belong wholly to +himself, or what he reckons his own rights. [A rare kind of Deed, it +would seem; and all the more solemn. In 1438, Charles VI. of France, +conceding the Gallican Church its Liberties, does, it by "SANCTION +PRAGMATIQUE;" Carlos III. of Spain (in 1759, "settling the Kingdom of +the Two Sicilies on his third son") does the like,--which is the last +instance of "PRAGMATIC SANCTION" in this world.] + +This Pragmatic Sanction of Kaiser Karl's, executed 19th April, 1713, +was promulgated, "gradually," now here now there, from 1720 to 1724, +[Stenzel, pp. 522, 523.]--in which later year it became universally +public; and was transmitted to all Courts and Sovereignties, as an +unalterable law of Things Imperial. Thereby the good man hopes his +beautiful little Theresa, now seven years old, may succeed him, all as +a son would have done, in the Austrian States and Dignities; and +incalculable damages, wars, and chances of war, be prevented, for his +House and for all the world. + +The world, incredulous of to-morrow, in its lazy way, was not +sufficiently attentive to this new law of things. Some who were +personally interested, as the Saxon Sovereignty, and the Bavarian, +denied that it was just: reminded Kaiser-Karl that he was not the Noah +or Adam of Kaisers; and that the case of Heirs-female was not quite +a new idea on sheepskin. No; there are older Pragmatic Sanctions +and settlements, by prior Kaisers of blessed memory; under which, if +Daughters are to come in, we, descended from Imperial Daughters of +older standing, shall have a word to say!--To this Kaiser Karl answers +steadily, with endless argument, That every Kaiser is a Patriarch, +and First Man, in such matters; and that so it has been pragmatically +sanctioned by him, and that so it shall and must irrevocably be. To the +other Powers, and indolent impartial Sovereigns of the world, he was +lavish in embassies; in ardent representations; and spared no pains in +convincing them that to-morrow would surely come, and that then it would +be a blessedness to have accepted this Pragmatic Sanction, and see +it lying for you as a Law of Nature to go by, and avoid incalculable +controversies. + +This was another vast Shadow, or confused high-piled continent of +shadows, to which our poor Kaiser held with his customary tenacity. To +procure adherences and assurances to this dear Pragmatic Sanction, was, +even more than the shadow of the Spanish Crown, and above all after he +had quitted that, the one grand business of his Life henceforth. With +which he kept all Europe in perpetual travail and diplomacy; raying +out ambassadors, and less ostensible agents, with bribes, and with +entreaties and proposals, into every high Sovereign Court and every low; +negotiating unweariedly by all methods, with all men. For it was his +evening-song and his morning-prayer; the grand meaning of Life to him, +till Life ended. You would have said, the first question he asks of +every creature is, "Will you covenant for my Pragmatic Sanction with me? +Oh, agree to it; accept that new Law of Nature: when the morrow comes, +it will be salutary for you!" + +Most of the Foreign Potentates idly accepted the thing,--as things of +a distant contingent kind are accepted;--made Treaty on it, since the +Kaiser seemed so extremely anxious. Only Bavaria, having heritable +claims, never would. Saxony too (August the Strong), being in the +like case, or a better, flatly refused for a long time; would not, +at all,--except for a consideration. Bright little Prince Eugene, who +dictated square miles of Letters and DIplomacies on the subject (Letters +of a steady depth of dulness, which at last grows almost sublime), was +wont to tell his Majesty: "Treatying, your Majesty? A well-trained +Army and a full Treasury; that is the only Treaty that will make this +Pragmatic Sanction valid!" But his Majesty never would believe. So the +bright old Eugene dictated,--or, we hope and guess, he only gave his +clerks some key-word, and signed his name (in three languages, "Eugenio +von Savoye") to these square miles of dull epistolary matter,--probably +taking Spanish snuff when he had done. For he wears it in both +waistcoat-pockets;--has (as his Portraits still tell us) given up +breathing by the nose. The bright little soul, with a flash in him as of +Heaven's own lightning; but now growing very old and snuffy. + +Shadow of Pragmatic Sanction, shadow of the Spanish Crown,--it was such +shadow-huntings of the Kaiser in Vienna, it was this of the Pragmatic +Sanction most of all, that thwarted our Prussian Double-Marriage, which +lay so far away from it. This it was that pretty nearly broke the hearts +of Friedrich, Wilhelmina, and their Mother and Father. For there never +was such negotiating; not for admittance to the Kingdom of Heaven, in +the pious times. And the open goings-forth of it, still more the secret +minings and mole-courses of it, were into all places. Above ground and +below, no Sovereign mortal could say he was safe from it, let him agree +or not. Friedrich Wilhelm had cheerfully, and with all his heart, agreed +to the Pragmatic Sanction; this above ground, in sight of the sun; and +rashly fancied he had then done with it. Till, to his horror, he found +the Imperial moles, by way of keeping assurance doubly sure, had been +under the foundations of his very house for long years past, and had all +but brought it down about him in the most hideous manner!-- + + + + +THIRD SHADOW: IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S OSTEND COMPANY. + +Another object which Kaiser Karl pursued with some diligence in these +times, and which likewise proved a shadow, much disturbance as it +gave mankind, was his "Ostend East-India Company." The Kaiser had +seen impoverished Spain, rich England, rich Holland; he had taken up a +creditable notion about commerce and its advantages. He said to himself, +Why should not my Netherlands trade to the East, as well as these +English and Dutch, and grow opulent like them? He instituted (OCTROYA) +an "Ostend East-India Company," under due Patents and Imperial +Sheepskins, of date 17th December, 1722, [Buchholz, i. 88; Pfeffel, +_Abrege Chronologique de l'Histoire d'Allemagne_ (Park, 1776), ii. +522.] gave it what freedom he could to trade to the East. "Impossible!" +answered the Dutch, with distraction in their aspect; "Impossible, we +say; contrary to Treaty of Westphalia, to Utrecht, to Barrier Treaty; +and destructive to the best interests of mankind, especially to us and +our trade-profits! We shall have to capture your ships, if you ever send +any." + +To which the Kaiser counterpleaded, earnestly, diligently, for the space +of seven years,--to no effect. "We will capture your ships if you ever +send any," answered the Dutch and English. What ships ever could have +been sent from Ostend to the East, or what ill they could have done +there, remains a mystery, owing to the monopolizing Maritime Powers. + +The Kaiser's laudable zeal for commerce had to expend itself in his +Adriatic Territories,--giving privileges to the Ports of Trieste and +Fiume; [Hormayr, _OEsterreichischer Plutarch,_ x. 101.] making roads +through the Dalmatian Hill-Countries, which are useful to this day;--but +could not operate on the Netherlands in the way proposed. The Kaiser's +Imperial Ostend East-India Company, which convulsed the Diplomatic mind +for seven years to come, and made Europe lurch from side to side in a +terrific manner, proved a mere paper Company; never sent any ships, +only produced Diplomacies, and "had the honor to be." This was the third +grand Shadow which the Kaiser chased, shaking all the world, poor crank +world, as he strode after it; and this also ended in zero, and +several tons of diplomatic correspondence, carried once by breathless +estaffettes, and now silent, gravitating towards Acheron all of them, +and interesting to the spiders only. + +Poor good Kaiser: they say he was a humane stately gentleman, stately +though shortish; fond of pardoning criminals where he could; very polite +to Muratori and the Antiquaries, even to English Rymer, in opening his +Archives to them,--and made roads in the Dalmatian Hill-Country, which +remain to this day. I do not wonder he grew more and more saturnine, and +addicted to solid taciturn field-sports. His Political "Perforce-Hunt +(PARFORCE JAGD)," with so many two-footed terriers, and legationary +beagles, distressing all the world by their baying and their burrowing, +had proved to be of Shadows; and melted into thin air, to a very +singular degree! + + + + +Chapter III. -- THE SEVEN CRISES OR EUROPEAN TRAVAIL-THROES. + +In process of this so terrific Duel with Elizabeth Farnese, and general +combat of the Shadows, which then made Europe quake, at every new +lunge and pass of it, and which now makes Europe yawn to hear the +least mention of it, there came two sputterings of actual War. Byng's +sea-victory at Messina, 1718; Spanish "Siege of Gibraltar," 1727, are +the main phenomena of these two Wars,--England, as its wont is, taking a +shot in both, though it has now forgotten both. And, on the whole, +there came, so far as I can count, Seven grand diplomatic Spasms or +Crises,--desperate general European Treatyings hither and then thither, +solemn Congresses two of them, with endless supplementary adhesions +by the minor powers. Seven grand mother-treaties, not to mention the +daughters, or supplementary adhesions they had; all Europe rising +spasmodically seven times, and doing its very uttermost to quell this +terrible incubus; all Europe changing color seven times, like a lobster +boiling, for twenty years. Seven diplomatic Crises, we say, marked +changings of color in the long-suffering lobster; and two so-called +Wars,--before this enormous zero could be settled. Which high Treaties +and Transactions, human nature, after much study of them, grudges to +enumerate. Apanage for Baby Carlos, ghost of a Pragmatic Sanction; these +were a pair of causes for mankind! Be no word spoken of them, except +with regret and on evident compulsion. + +For the reader's convenience we must note the salient points; but grudge +to do it. Salient points, now mostly wrapt in Orcus, and terrestrially +interesting only to the spiders,--except on an occasion of this kind, +when part of them happens to stick to the history of a memorable man, To +us they are mere bubblings-up of the general putrid fermentation of the +then Political World; and are too unlovely to be dwelt on longer than +indispensable. Triple Alliance, Quadruple Alliance, Congress of Cambrai, +Congress of Soissons; Conference of Pardo, Treaty of Hanover, Treaty of +Wusterhausen, what are they? Echo answers, What? Ripperda and the Queen +of Spain, Kaiser Karl and his Pragmatic Sanction, are fallen dim to +every mind. The Troubles of Thorn (sad enough Papist-Protestant tragedy +in their time),--who now cares to know of them? It is much if we find +a hearing for the poor Salzburg Emigrants when they get into Preussen +itself. Afflicted human nature ought to be, at last, delivered from +the palpably superfluous; and if a few things memorable are to be +remembered, millions of things unmemorable must first be honestly +buried and forgotten! But to our affair,--that of marking the chief +bubblings-up in the above-said Universal Putrid Fermentation, so far as +they concern us. + + + + +CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI. + +We already saw Byng sea fighting in the Straits of Messina; that was +part of Crisis Second,--sequel, in powder-and-ball, of Crisis First, +which had been in paper till then. The Powers had interfered, by Triple, +by Quadruple Alliance, to quench the Spanish-Austrian Duel (about +Apanage for Baby Carlos, and a quantity of other Shadows): "Triple +Alliance" [4th January, 1717.] was, we may say, when France, England, +Holland laboriously sorted out terms of agreement between Kaiser and +Termagant: "Quadruple" [18th July, 1718.] was when Kaiser, after much +coaxing, acceded, as fourth party; and said gloomily, "Yes, then." +Byng's Sea-fight was when Termagant said, "No, by--the Plots of +Alberoni! Never will I, for my part, accede to such terms!" and attacked +the poor Kaiser in his Sicilies and elsewhere. Byng's Sea-fight, in aid +of a suffering Kaiser and his Sicilies, in consequence. Furthermore, +the French invaded Spain, till Messina were retaken; nay the English, by +land too, made a dash at Spain, "Descent on Vigo" as they call it,--in +reference to which take the following stray Note:-- + +"That same year [1719, year after Byng's Sea-fight, Messina just +about recaptured], there took effect, planned by the vigorous Colonel +Stanhope, our Minister at Madrid, who took personal share in the thing, +a 'Descent on Vigo,' sudden swoop-down upon Town and shipping in those +Gallician, north-west regions. Which was perfectly successful,--Lord +Cobham leading;--and made much noise among mankind. Filled all Gazettes +at that time;--but now, again, is all fallen silent for us,--except this +one thrice-insignificant point, That there was in it, 'in Handyside's +Regiment,' a Lieutenant of Foot, by name STERNE, who had left, with his +poor Wife at Plymouth, a very remarkable Boy called Lorry, or LAWRENCE; +known since that to all mankind. When Lorry in his LIFE writes, 'my +Father went on the Vigo expedition,' readers may understand this was it. +Strange enough: that poor Lieutenant of Foot is now pretty much all +that is left of this sublime enterprise upon Vigo, in the memory of +mankind;--hanging there, as if by a single hair, till poor TRISTRAM +SHANDY be forgotten too." [_Memoirs of Laurence Sterne, written by +himself for his Daughter (see Annual Register,_ Year 1775, pp. 50-52).] + +In short, the French and even the English invaded Spain; English Byng +and others sank Spanish ships: Termagant was obliged to pack away her +Alberoni, and give in. She had to accede to "Quadruple Alliance," after +all; making it, so to speak, a Quintuple one; making Peace, in fact, +[17th February, 1720.]--general Congress to be held at Cambrai and +settle the details. + +Congress of Cambrai met accordingly; in 1722,--"in the course of the +year," Delegates slowly raining in,--date not fixable to a day or month. +Congress was "sat," as we said,--or, alas, was only still endeavoring to +get seated, and wandering about among the chairs,--when George I. came +to Charlottenburg that evening, October, 1723, and surveyed Wilhelmina +with a candle. More inane Congress never met in this world, nor will +meet. Settlement proved so difficult; all the more, as neither of +the quarrelling parties wished it. Kaiser and Termagant, fallen as if +exhausted, had not the least disposition to agree; lay diplomatically +gnashing their teeth at one another, ready to fight again should +strength return. Difficult for third parties to settle on behalf of such +a pair. Nay at length the Kaiser's Ostend Company came to light: what +will third parties, Dutch and English especially, make of that? + +This poor Congress---let the reader fancy it--spent two years in +"arguments about precedencies," in mere beatings of the air; could not +get seated at all, but wandered among the chairs, till "February, 1724." +Nor did it manage to accomplish any work whatever, even then; the most +inane of Human Congresses; and memorable on that account, if on no +other. There, in old stagnant Cambrai, through the third year and into +the fourth, were Delegates, Spanish, Austrian, English, Dutch, French, +of solemn outfit, with a big tail to each,--"Lord Whitworth" whom I do +not know, "Lord Polwarth" (Earl of Marchmont that will be, a friend of +Pope's), were the English Principals: [Scholl, ii. 197.]--there, for +about four years, were these poor fellow-creatures busied, baling out +water with sieves. Seen through the Horn-Gate of Dreams, the figure of +them rises almost grand on the mind. + +A certain bright young Frenchman, Francois Arouet,--spoiled for a solid +law-career, but whose OEDIPE we saw triumphing in the Theatres, and +who will, under the new name of VOLTAIRE, become very memorable to +us,--happened to be running towards Holland that way, one of his many +journeys thitherward; and actually saw this Congress, then in the first +year of its existence. Saw it, probably dined with it. A Letter of his +still extant, not yet fallen to the spiders, as so much else has done, +testifies to this fact. Let us read part of it, the less despicable +part,--as a Piece supremely insignificant, yet now in a manner the one +surviving Document of this extraordinary Congress; Congress's own works +and history having all otherwise fallen to the spiders forever. The +Letter is addressed to Cardinal Dubois;--for Dubois, "with the face like +a goat," [Herzogin von Orleans, BRIEFE.] yet lived (first year of this +Congress); and Regent d'Orleans lived, intensely interested here as +third party:--and a goat-faced Cardinal, once pimp and lackey, ugliest +of created souls, Archbishop of this same Cambrai "by Divine permission" +and favor of Beelzebub, was capable of promoting a young fellow if he +chose:-- + +"TO HIS EMINENCE CARDINAL DUBOIS (from Arouet Junior). + +"CAMBRAI, July, 1722. + +"... We are just arrived in your City, Monseigneur; where, I think, +all the Ambassadors and all the Cooks in Europe have given one another +rendezvous. It seems as if all the Ministers of Germany had assembled +here for the purpose of getting their Emperor's health drunk. As to +Messieurs the Ambassadors of Spain, one of them hears two masses a day, +and the other manages the troop of players. The English Ministers [a +LORD POLWARTH and a LORD WHITWORTH] send many couriers to Champagne, and +few to London. For the rest, nobody expects your Eminence here; it is +not thought you will quit the Palais-Royal to visit the sheep of your +flock in these parts [no!], it would be too bad for your Eminence and +for us all.... Think sometimes, Monseigneur, of a man who [regards your +goat-faced Eminence as a beautiful ingenious creature; and such a +hand in conversation as never was]. The one thing I will ask [of your +goat-faced Eminence] at Paris will be, to have the goodness to talk to +me." [_OEuvres de Voltaire,_ 97 vols. (Paris, 1825-1834), lxviii. 95, +96.] + +Alas, alas!--The more despicable portions of this Letter we omit, as +they are not history of the Congress, but of Arouet Junior on the +shady side. So much will testify that this Congress did exist; that +its wiggeries and it were not always, what they now are, part of a +nightmare-vision in Human History.-- + +Elizabeth Farnese, seeing at what rate the Congress of Cambrai sped, +lost all patience with it; and getting more and more exasperations +there, at length employed one Ripperda, a surprising Dutch Black-Artist +whom she now had for Minister, to pull the floor from beneath it (so +to speak), and send it home in that manner. Which Ripperda did. An +appropriate enough catastrophe, comfortable to the reader; upon which +perhaps he will not grudge to read still another word? + + + + +CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI GETS THE FLOOR PULLED FROM UNDER IT. + +Termagant Elizabeth had now one Ripperda for Minister; a surprising +Dutch adventurer, once secretary of some Dutch embassy at Madrid; +who, discerning how the land lay, had broken loose from that subaltern +career, had changed his religion, insinuated himself into Elizabeth's +royal favor; and was now "Duke de Ripperda," and a diplomatic bull-dog +of the first quality, full of mighty schemes and hopes; in brief, a new +Alberoni to the Termagant Queen. This Ripperda had persuaded her (the +third year of our inane Congress now running out, to no purpose), That +he, if he were sent direct to Vienna, could reconcile the Kaiser to her +Majesty, and bring them to Treaty, independently of Congresses. He +was sent accordingly, in all privacy; had reported himself as laboring +there, with the best outlooks, for some while past; when, still early in +1725, there occurred on the part of France,--where Regent d'Orleans was +now dead, and new politics bad come in vogue,--that "sending back," +of the poor little Spanish: Infanta, ["5th April, 1725, quitted Paris" +(Barbier, _Journal du Regne de Louis XV.,_ i. 218).] and marrying of +young Louis XV. elsewhere, which drove Elizabeth and the Court of Spain, +not unnaturally, into a very delirium of indignation. + +Why they sent the poor little Lady home on those shocking terms? It +seems there was no particular reason, except that French Louis was now +about fifteen, and little Spanish Theresa was only eight; and that, +under Duc de Bourbon, the new Premier, and none of the wisest, there +was, express or implicit, "an ardent wish to see royal progeny secured." +For which, of course, a wife of eight years would not answer. So she +was returned; and even in a blundering way, it is said,--the French +Ambassador at Madrid having prefaced his communication, not with light +adroit preludings of speech, but with a tempest of tears and howling +lamentations, as if that were the way to conciliate King Philip and +his Termagant Elizabeth. Transport of indignation was the natural +consequence on their part; order to every Frenchman to be across the +border within, say eight-and-forty hours; rejection forever of all +French mediation at Cambrai or elsewhere; question to the English, "Will +you mediate for us, then?" To which the answer being merely "Hm!" with +looks of delay,--order by express to Ripperda, to make straightway a +bargain with the Kaiser; almost any bargain, so it were made at once. +Ripperda made a bargain: Treaty of Vienna, 30th April, 1725: [Scholl, +ii. 201; Coxe, _Walpole,_ i. 239-250.] "Titles and Shadows each of us +shall keep for his own lifetime, then they shall drop. As to realities +again, to Parma and Piacenza among the rest, let these be as in the +Treaty of Utrecht; arrangeable in the lump;--and indeed, of Parma and +Piacenza perhaps the less we say, the better at present." This was, in +substance, Ripperda's Treaty; the Third great European travail-throe, or +change of color in the long-suffering lobster. Whereby, of course, the +Congress of Cambrai did straightway disappear, the floor miraculously +vanishing under it; and sinks--far below human eye-reach by this +time--towards the Bottomless Pool, ever since. Such was the beginning, +such the end of that Congress, which Arouet LE JEUNE, in 1722, saw as a +contemporary Fact, drinking champagne in Ramillies wigs, and arranging +comedies for itself. + + + + +FRANCE AND THE BRITANNIC MAJESTY TRIM THE SHIP AGAIN: HOW FRIEDRICH +WILHELM CAME INTO IT. TREATY OF HANOVER, 1725. + +The publication of this Treaty of Vienna (30th April, 1725),--miraculous +disappearance of the Congress of Cambrai by withdrawal of the floor +from under it, and close union of the Courts of Spain and Vienna as +the outcome of its slow labors,--filled Europe, and chiefly the late +mediating Powers, with amazement, anger, terror. Made Europe lurch +suddenly to the other side, as we phrased it,--other gunwale now under +water. Wherefore, in Heaven's name, trim your ship again, if possible, +ye high mediating Powers. This the mediating Powers were laudably +alert to do. Duc de Bourbon, and his young King about to marry, were of +pacific tendencies; anxious for the Balance: still more was Fleury, +who succeeded Duc de Bourbon. Cardinal Fleury (with his pupil Louis XV. +under him, producing royal progeny and nothing worse or better as +yet) began, next year, his long supremacy in France; an aged reverend +gentleman, of sly, delicately cunning ways, and disliking war, as George +I. did, unless when forced on him: now and henceforth, no mediating +power more anxious than France to have the ship in trim. + +George and Bourbon laid their heads together, deeply pondering this +little less than awful state of the Terrestrial Balance; and in about +six months they, in their quiet way, suddenly came out with a Fourth +Crisis on the astonished populations, so as to right the ship's +trim again, and more. "Treaty of Hanover," this was their unexpected +manoeuvre; done quietly at Herrenhausen, when his Majesty next +went across for the Hanover hunting-season. Mere hunting:--but the +diplomatists, as well as the beagles, were all in readiness there. Even +Friedrich Wilhelm, ostensibly intent on hunting, was come over thither, +his abstruse Ilgens, with their inkhorns, escorting him: Friedrich +Wilhelm, hunting in unexpected sort, was persuaded to sign this Treaty; +which makes it unusually interesting to us. An exceptional procedure on +the part of Friedrich Wilhelm, who beyond all Sovereigns stays well +at home, careless of affairs that are not his:--procedure betokening +cordiality at Hanover; and of good omen for the Double-Marriage? + +Yes, surely;--and yet something more, on Friedrich Wilhelm's part. His +rights on the Cleve-Julich Countries; reversion of Julich and Berg, +once Karl Philip shall decease:--perhaps these high Powers, for a +consideration, will guarantee one's undoubted rights there? It is +understood they gave promises of this kind, not too specific. Nay we +hear farther a curious thing: "France and England, looking for immediate +war with the Kaiser, advised Friedrich Wilhelm to assert his rights +on Silesia." Which would have been an important procedure! Friedrich +Wilhelm, it is added, had actual thoughts of it; the Kaiser, in those +matters of the RITTER-DIENST, of the HEIDELBERG PROTESTANTS, and +wherever a chance was, had been unfriendly, little less than insulting, +to Friedrich Wilhelm: "Give me one single Hanoverian brigade, to +show that you go along with me!" said his Prussian Majesty;--but the +Britannic never altogether would. [_OEuvres de Frederic,_ i. +153.] Certain it is, Friedrich Wilhelm signed: a man with such +Fighting-Apparatus as to be important in a Hanover Treaty. "Balance of +Power, they tell me, is in a dreadful way: certainly if one can help +the Balance a little, why not? But Julich and Berg, one's own outlook +of reversion there, that is the point to be attended to:--Balance, I +believe, will somehow shift for itself!" On these principles, Friedrich +Wilhelm signed, while ostensibly hunting. [Fassmann, p. 368; Forster, +_ Urkundenbuch,_ p. 67.] Treaty of Hanover, which was to trim the ship +again, or even to make it heel the other way, dates itself 3d September, +1725, and is of this purport: "We three, France, England, Prussia to +stand by each other as one man, in case any of us is attacked,--will +invite Holland, Denmark, Sweden and every pacific Sovereignty to join us +in such convention,"--as they all gradually did, had Friedrich Wilhelm +but stood firm. + +For it is a state of the Balances little less than awful. Rumor goes +that, by the Ripperda bargain, fatal to mankind, Don Carlos was to +get the beautiful young Maria Theresa to wife: that would settle the +Parma-Piacenza business and some others; that would be a compensation +with a witness! Spain and Austria united, as in Karl V.'s time; or +perhaps some Succession War, or worse, to fight over again!-- + +Fleury and George, as Duc de Bourbon and George had done, though +both pacific gentlemen, brandished weapons at the Kaiser; strongly +admonishing him to become less formidable, or it would be worse for him. +Possible indeed, in such a shadow-hunting, shadow-hunted hour! Fleury +and George stand looking with intense anxiety into a certain spectral +something, which they call the Balance of Power; no end to their +exorcisms in that matter. Truly, if each of the Royal Majesties and +Serene Highnesses would attend to his own affairs,--doing his utmost to +better his own land and people, in earthly and in heavenly respects, a +little,--he would find it infinitely profitabler for himself and others. +And the Balance of Power would settle, in that case, as the laws +of gravity ordered: which is its one method of settling, after all +diplomacy!--Fleury and George, by their manifestoing, still more by +their levying of men, George I. shovelling out his English subsidies +as usual, created deadly qualms in the Kaiser; who still found it +unpleasant to "admit Spanish Garrisons in Parma;" but found likewise his +Termagant Friend inexorably positive on that score; and knew not what +would become of him, if he had to try fighting, and the Sea-Powers +refused him cash to do it. + +Hereby was the ship trimmed, and more; ship now lurching to the +other side again. George I. goes subsidying Hessians, Danes; sounding +manifestoes, beating drums, in an alarming manner: and the Kaiser, +except it were in Russia, with the new Czarina Catherine I. (that brown +little woman, now become Czarina [8th February, 1725. Treaty with Kaiser +(6th August, 1726) went to nothing on her death, 11th May, 1727.]), +finds no ally to speak of. An unlucky, spectre-hunting, spectre-hunted +Kaiser; who, amid so many drums, manifestoes, menaces, is now rolling +eyes that witness everywhere considerable dismay. This is the Fourth +grand Crisis of Europe; crisis or travail-throe of Nature, bringing +forth, and unable to do it, Baby Carlos's Apanage and the Pragmatic +Sanction. Fourth conspicuous change of color to the universal lobster, +getting itself boiled on those sad terms, for twenty years. For its +sins, we need not doubt; for its own long-continued cowardices, sloths +and greedy follies, as well as those of Kaiser Karl!-- + +At this Fourth change we will gladly leave the matter, for a time; +much wishing it might be forever. Alas, as if that were possible to us! +Meanwhile, let afflicted readers, looking before and after, readier to +forget than to remember in such a case, accept this Note, or Summary of +all the Seven together, by way of help:-- + + + + +TRAVAIL-THROES OF NATURE FOR BABY CARLOS'S ITALIAN APANAGE; SEVEN IN +NUMBER. + +1. Triple Alliance, English, Dutch, French (4th January, 1717), saying, +"Peace, then! No Alberoni-plotting; no Duel-fighting permitted!" +Same Powers, next year, proposing Terms of Agreement; Kaiser gloomily +accepting them; which makes it Quadruple Alliance (18th July, 1718); +Termagant indignantly refusing,--with attack on the Kaiser's Sicilies. + +2. First Sputter of War; Byng's Sea-fight, and the other pressures, +compelling Termagant: Peace (26th January, 1720); Congress of Cambrai to +settle the Apanage and other points. + +3. Congress of Cambrai, a weariness to gods and men, gets the floor +pulled from under it (Ripperda's feat, 30th April, 1725); so that Kaiser +and Termagant stand ranked together, Apanage wrapt in mystery,--to the +terror of mankind. + +4. Treaty of Hanover (France, England, Prussia, 3d September, 1725) +restores the Balances, and more. War imminent. Prussia privately falls +off,--as we shall see. + +[These first Four lie behind us, at this point; but there are Three +others still ahead, which we cannot hope to escape altogether; namely:] + + +5. Second Sputter of War: Termagant besieges Gibraltar (4th March, +1727--6th March, 1728): Peace at that latter date;--Congress of Soissons +to settle the Apanage and other points, as formerly. + +6. Congress of Soissons (14th June, 1728--9th November, 1729), as +formerly, cannot in the least: Termagaut whispers England;--there is +Treaty of Seville (9th November, 1729), France and England undertaking +for the Apanage. Congress vanishes; Kaiser is left solitary, with the +shadow of Pragmatic Sanction, in the night of things. Pause of an awful +nature:--but Fleury does not hasten with the Apanage, as promised. +Whereupon, at length, + +7. Treaty of Vienna (16th March, 1731): Sea-Powers, leading Termagant by +the hand, Sea-Powers and no France, unite with Kaiser again, according +to the old laws of Nature;--and Baby Carlos gets his Apanage, in due +course;--but does not rest content with it, Mamma nor he, very long! + +Huge spectres and absurd bugaboos, stalking through the brain of dull +thoughtless pusillanimous mankind, do, to a terrible extent, tumble +hither and thither, and cause to lurch from side to side, their ship +of state, and all that is embarked there, BREAKFAST-TABLE, among other +things. Nevertheless, if they were only bugaboos, and mere Shadows +caused by Imperial hand-lanterns in the general Night of the +world,--ought they to be spoken of in the family, when avoidable? + + + + +Chapter IV. -- DOUBLE-MARRIAGE TREATY CANNOT BE SIGNED. + +Hitherto the world-tides, and ebbs and flows of external Politics, had, +by accident, rather forwarded, than hindered the Double-Marriage. In +the rear of such a Treaty of Hanover, triumphantly righting the European +Balances by help of Friedrich Wilhelm, one might have hoped this little +domestic Treaty would, at last, get itself signed. Queen Sophie did +hasten off to Hanover, directly after her husband had left it under +those favorable aspects: but Papa again proved unmanageable; the Treaty +could not be achieved. + +Alas, and why not? Parents and Children, on both sides, being really +desirous of it, what reason is there but it should in due time come to +perfection, and, without annihilating Time and Space, make four lovers +happy? No reason. Rubs doubtless had arisen since that Visit of George +I., discordant procedures, chiefly about Friedrich Wilhelm's recruiting +operations in the Hanover territory, as shall be noted by and by: but +these the ever-wakeful enthusiasm of Queen Sophie, who had set her whole +heart with a female fixity on this Double-Marriage Project, had smoothed +down again: and now, Papa and Husband being so blessedly united in their +World Politics, why not sign the Marriage-Treaty? Honored Majesty-Papa, +why not!--"Tush, child, you do not understand. In these tremendous +circumstances, the celestial Sign of the BALANCE just about canting, and +the Obliquity of the Ecliptic like to alter, how can one think of little +marriages? Wait till the Obliquity of the Ecliptic come steadily to its +old pitch!"-- + +Truth is, George was in general of a slow, solemn, Spanish turn of +manners; "intolerably proud, too, since he got that English dignity," +says Wilhelmina: he seemed always tacitly to look down on Friedrich +Wilhelm, as if the Prussian Majesty were a kind of inferior clownish +King in comparison. It is certain he showed no eagerness to get the +Treaty perfected. Again and again, when specially applied to by Queen +Sophie, on Friedrich Wilhelm's order, he intimated only: "It was a fixed +thing, but not to be hurried,--English Parliaments were concerned in it, +the parties were still young," and so on;--after which brief answer +he would take you to the window, and ask, "If you did not think the +Herrenhausen Gardens and their Leibnitz waterworks, and clipped-beech +walls were rather fine?" [Pollnitz, _ Memoiren,_ ii. 226, 228, &c.] + +In fact, the English Parliaments, from whom money was so often demanded +for our fat Improper Darlingtons, lean Improper Kendals and other royal +occasions, would naturally have to make a marriage-revenue for this fine +Grandson of ours;--Grandson Fred, who is now a young lout of, eighteen; +leading an extremely dissolute life, they say, at Hanover; and by no +means the most beautiful of mortals, either he or the foolish little +Father of him, to our old sad heart. They can wait, they can wait! said +George always. + +But undoubtedly he did intend that both Marriages should take effect: +only he was slow; and the more you hurried him, perhaps the slower. He +would have perfected the Treaty "next year," say the Authorities; meant +to do so, if well let alone: but Townshend whispered withal, "Better +not urge him." Surly George was always a man of his word; no treachery +intended by him, towards Friedrich Wilhelm or any man. It is very clear, +moreover, that Friedrich Wilhelm, in this Autumn 1725, was, and was like +to be, of high importance to King George; a man not to be angered by +dishonorable treatment, had such otherwise been likely on George's part. +Nevertheless George did not sign the Treaty "next year" either,--such +things having intervened;--nor the next year after that, for reasons +tragically good on the latter occasion! + +These delays about the Double-Marriage Treaty are not a pleasing +feature of it to Friedrich Wilhelm; who is very capable of being hurt by +slights; who, at any rate, dislikes to have loose thrums flying about, +or that the business of to-day should be shoved over upon to-morrow. And +so Queen Sophie has her own sore difficulties; driven thus between +the Barbarians (that is, her Husband), and the deep Sea (that is, her +Father), to and fro. Nevertheless, since all parties to the matter +wished it, Sophie and the younger parties getting even enthusiastic +about it; and since the matter itself was good, agreeable so far +to Prussia and England, to Protestant Germany and to Heaven and +Earth,--might not Sophie confidently hope to vanquish these and other +difficulties; and so bring all things to a happy close? + +Had it not been for the Imperial Shadow-huntings, and this rickety +condition of the celestial Balance! Alas, the outer elements interfered +with Queen Sophie in a singular manner. Huge foreign world-movements, +springing from Vienna and a spectre-haunted Kaiser, and spreading like +an avalanche over all the Earth, snatched up this little Double-Marriage +question; tore it along with them, reeling over precipices, one knew not +whitherward, at such a rate as was seldom seen before. Scarcely in +the Minerva Press is there record of such surprising, infinite and +inextricable obstructions to a wedding or a double-wedding. Time and +space, which cannot be annihilated to make two lovers happy, were here +turned topsy-turvy, as it were, to make four lovers,--four, or at the +very least three, for Wilhelmina will not admit she was ever the least +in love, not she, poor soul, either with loose Fred or his English +outlooks,--four young creatures, and one or more elderly persons, +superlatively wretched; and even, literally enough, to do all but kill +some of them. + +What is noteworthy too, it proved wholly inane, this huge world-ocean of +Intrigues and Imperial Necromancy; ran dry at last into absolute nothing +even for the Kaiser, and might as well not have been. And Mother and +Father, on the Prussian side, were driven to despair and pretty nearly +to delirium by it; and our poor young Fritz got tormented, scourged, and +throttled in body and in soul by it, till he grew to loathe the light of +the sun, and in fact looked soon to have quitted said light at one stage +of the business. + +We are now approaching Act Second of the Double-Marriage, where Imperial +Ordnance-Master Graf von Seckendorf, a Black-Artist of supreme quality, +despatched from Vienna on secret errand, "crosses the Palace Esplanade +at Berlin on a summer evening of the year 1726;" and evokes all the +demons on our little Crown-Prince and those dear to him. We must first +say something of an important step, shortly antecedent thereto, which +occurred in the Crown-Prince's educational course. + + + + +Chapter V. -- CROWN-PRINCE GOES INTO THE POTSDAM GUARDS. + +Amid such commotion of the foreign elements and the domestic, an +important change occurs in the Crown-Prince's course of schooling. It is +decided that, whatever be his progress in the speculative branches, it +is time he should go into the Army, and practically learn soldiering. +In his fourteenth year, 3d May, 1725, [Preuss, i. 26; 106; and _Buch fur +Jedermann_ (a minor book of his, on the same subject, Berlin, 1837), +ii. 13.] not long before the Treaty of Hanover, he was formally named +Captain, by Papa in War-council. Grenadier Guards, Potsdam Lifeguards, +to be the regiment; and next year he is nominated Major, and, a vacancy +occurring, appointed to begin actual duty. It is on the "20th of August, +1726, that he first leads out his battalion to the muster," on those +terms. His age is not yet fifteen by four months;--a very tiny Major +among those Potsdam giants; but by rank, we observe, he rides; and his +horse is doubtless of the due height. And so the tiny Cadet-drillings +have ended; long Files of Giants, splendent in gold-lace and +grenadier-caps, have succeeded; and earnest work instead of mimic, in +that matter, has begun. + +However it may have fared with his other school-lessons, here now is a +school-form he is advanced to, in which there will be no resource but +learning. Bad spelling might be overlooked by those that had charge of +it; bad drilling is not permissible on any terms. We need not doubt the +Crown-Prince did his soldier-duty faithfully, and learned in every point +the conduct of an officer: penalty as of Rhadamanthus waited upon all +failure there. That he liked it is by no means said; he much disliked +it, and his disgusts were many. An airy young creature:--and it was +in this time to give one instance, that that shearing of his locks +occurred: which was spoken of above, where the Court-Chirurgus proved so +merciful. To clog the winged Psyche in ever-returning parade-routine and +military pipe-clay,--it seems very cruel. But it is not to be altered: +in spite of one's disgusts, the dull work, to the last item of it, +has daily to be done. Which proved infinitely beneficial to the +Crown-Prince, after all. Hereby, to his Athenian-French elegancies, +and airy promptitudes and brilliancies, there shall lie as basis an +adamantine Spartanism and Stoicism; very rare, but very indispensable, +for such a superstructure. Well exemplified, through after life, in this +Crown-Prince. + + + + +OF THE POTSDAM GIANTS, AS A FACT. + +His regiment was the Potsdam Grenadier Guard; that unique +giant-regiment, of which the world has heard so much in a vague +half-mythical way. The giant-regiment was not a Myth, however, but a +big-boned expensive Fact, tramping very hard upon the earth at one time, +though now gone all to the ghostly state. As it was a CLASS-BOOK, so +to speak, of our Friedrich's,--Class-Book (printed in huge type) for a +certain branch of his schooling, the details of which are so dim, though +the general outcome of it proved so unforgettable,--readers, apart from +their curiosity otherwise, may as well take a glimpse of it on this +occasion. Vanished now, and grown a Giant Phantom, the like of it hardly +again to be in this world; and by accident, the very smallest Figure +ever ranked in it makes it memorable there!-- + +With a wise instinct, Friedrich Wilhelm had discerned that all things +in Prussia must point towards his Army; that his Army was the heart and +pith; the State being the tree, every branch and leaf bound, after +its sort, to be nutritive and productive for the Army's behoof. That, +probably for any Nation in the long-run, and certainly for the Prussian +Nation straightway, life or death depends on the Army: Friedrich +Wilhelm's head, in an inarticulate manner, was full of this just notion; +and all his life was spent in organizing it to a practical fact. The +more of potential battle, the more of life is in us: a MAXIMUM of +potential battle, therefore; and let it be the OPTIMUM in quality! How +Friedrich Wilhelm cared, day and night, with all his heart and all his +soul, to bring his Army to the supreme pitch, we have often heard; and +the more we look into his ways, the more we are impressed with that +fact. It was the central thing for him; all other things circulating +towards it, deriving from it: no labor too great, and none too little, +to be undergone for such an object. He watched over it like an Argus, +with eyes that reached everywhere. Discipline shall be as exact as +Euclid;--short of perfection we do not stop! Discipline and ever better +discipline; enforcement of the rule in all points, improvement of the +rule itself where possible, were the great Drill-sergeant's continual +care. Daily had some loop fallen, which might have gone ravelling far +enough; but daily was he there to pick it up again, and keep the web +unrent and solidly progressive. + +We said, it was the "poetic ideal" of Friedrich Wilhelm; who is a dumb +poet in several particulars,--and requires the privileges of genius +from those that READ his dumb poem. It must be owned he rises into the +fantastic here and there; and has crotchets of ultraperfection for his +Army, which are not rational at all. Crotchets that grew ever madder, +the farther he followed them. This Lifeguard Regiment of foot, for +instance, in which the Crown-Prince now is,--Friedrich Wilhelm got it +in his Father's time, no doubt a regiment then of fair qualities; and he +has kept drilling it, improving it, as poets polish stanzas, unweariedly +ever since:--and see now what it has grown to! A Potsdam Giant Regiment, +such as the world never saw, before or since. Three Battalions of +them,--two always here at Potsdam doing formal lifeguard duty, the third +at Brandenburg on drill; 800 to the Battalion,--2,400 sons of Anak in +all. Sublime enough, hugely perfect to the royal eye, such a mass +of shining giants, in their long-drawn regularities and mathematical +manoeuvrings,--like some streak of Promethean lightning, realized here +at last, in the vulgar dusk of things! + +Truly they are men supreme in discipline, in beauty of equipment; and +the shortest man of them rises, I think, towards seven feet, some are +nearly nine feet high. Men from all countries; a hundred and odd come +annually, as we saw, from Russia,--a very precious windfall: the rest +have been collected, crimped, purchased out of every European country, +at enormous expense, not to speak of other trouble to his Majesty. James +Kirkman, an Irish recruit of good inches, cost him 1,200 pounds before +he could be got inveigled, shipped and brought safe to hand. The +documents are yet in existence; [Forster, _Handbuch der Geschichte, +Geographie und Statistik des Preussischen Reichs_ (Berlin, 1820), iv. +130, 132;--not in a very lucid state.] and the Portrait of this Irish +fellow-citizen himself, who is by no means a beautiful man. Indeed, they +are all portrayed; all the privates of this distinguished Regiment are, +if anybody cared to look at them--Redivanoff from Moscow seems of +far better bone than Kirkman, though still more stolid of aspect. One +Hohmann, a born Prussian, was so tall, you could not, though yourself +tall, touch his bare crown with your hand; August the Strong of Poland +tried, on one occasion, and could not. Before Hohmann turned up, there +had been "Jonas the Norwegian Blacksmith,", also a dreadfully tall +monster. Giant "Macdoll,"--who was to be married, no consent asked on +EITHER side, to the tall young woman, which latter turned out to be a +decrepit OLD woman (all Jest-Books know the myth),--he also was an Irish +Giant; his name probably M'Dowal. [Forster, _ Preussens Helden im Krieg +und Frieden_ (Berlin, l848), i. 531; no date to the story, no evidence +what grain of truth may be in it.] This Hohmann was now FLUGELMANN +("fugleman" as we have named it, leader of the file), the Tallest of the +Regiment, a very mountain of pipe-clayed flesh and bone. + +Here, in reference to one other of those poor Giants, is an Anecdote +from Fassmann (who is very full on this subject of the Giants; abstruse +Historical Fassmann, often painfully cited by us): a most small +Anecdote, but then an indisputably certain one;--which brings back to +us, in a strange way, the vanished Time and its populations; as the +poorest authentic wooden lucifer may do, kindling suddenly, and' +peopling the void Night for moments, to the seeing eye!-- + +Fassmann, a very dark German literary man, in obsolete costume and +garniture, how living or what doing we cannot guess, found himself at +Paris, gazing about, in the year 1713; where, among other things, the +Fair of St. Germain was going on. Loud, large Fair of St. Germain, +"which lasts from Candlemas to the Monday before Easter;" and Fassmann +one day took a walk of contemplation through the same. Much noise, +gesticulation, little meaning. Show-booths, temporary theatres, +merry-andrews, sleight-of-hand men; and a vast public, drinking, +dancing, gambling, flirting, as its wont is. Nothing new for us there; +new only that it all lies five generations from us now. Did "the Old +Pretender," who was then in his expectant period, in this same village +of St. Germain, see it too, as Fassmann did? And Louis XIV., he is at +Versailles; drooping fast, very dull to his Maintenon. And our little +Fritz in Berlin is a child in arms;--and the world is all awake as +usual, while Fassmann strolls through this noisy inanity of show-booths, +in the year 1713. + +Strolling along, Fassmann came upon a certain booth with an enormous +Picture hung aloft in front of it: "Picture of a very tall man, in +HEYDUC livery, coat reaching to his ankles, in grand peruke, cap and +big heron-plume, with these words, 'LE GEANT ALLEMAND (German Giant),' +written underneath. Partly from curiosity, partly "for country's sake," +Fassmann expended twopence; viewed the gigantic fellow-creature; admits +he had never seen one so tall; though "Bentenrieder, the Imperial +Diplomatist," thought by some to be the tallest of men, had come athwart +him once. This giant's name was Muller; birthplace the neighborhood of +Weissenfels;--"a Saxon like myself. He had a small German Wife, not +half his size. He made money readily, showing himself about, in France, +England, Holland;"--and Fassmann went his way, thinking no more of the +fellow.--But now, continues Fassmann:-- + +"Coming to Potsdam, thirteen years after, in the spring of 1726, by his +Majesty's order, to"--in fact, to read the Newspapers to his Majesty, +and be generally useful, chiefly in the Tobacco-College, as we shall +discover,--"what was my surprise to find this same 'GEANT ALLEMAND' +of St. Germain ranked among the King's Grenadiers! No doubt of the +identity: I renewed acquaintance with the man; his little German Wife +was dead; but he had got an English one instead, an uncommonly shifty +creature. They had a neat little dwelling-house [as most of the married +giants had], near the Palace: here the Wife sold beer [brandy not +permissible on any terms], and lodged travellers;--I myself have lodged +there on occasion. In the course of some years, the man took swelling in +the legs; good for nothing as a grenadier; and was like to fall heavy +on society. But no, his little Wife snatched him up, easily getting his +discharge; carried him over with her to England, where he again became a +show-giant, and they were doing very well, when last heard of,"--in the +Country-Wakes of George II.'s early time. And that is the real Biography +of one Potsdam Giant, by a literary gentleman who had lodged with him on +occasion. [Fassmann, pp. 723-730.] + +The pay of these sublime Footguards is greatly higher than common; they +have distinguished privileges and treatment: on the other hand, their +discipline is nonpareil, and discharge is never to be dreamt of, while +strength lasts. Poor Kirkman, does he sometimes think of the Hill of +Howth, and that he will never see it more? Kirkman, I judge, is not +given to thought;--considers that he has tobacco here, and privileges +and perquisites; and that Howth, and Heaven itself, is inaccessible to +many a man. + + + + +FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S RECRUITING DIFFICULTIES. + +Tall men, not for this regiment only, had become a necessary of life to +Friedrich Wilhelm. Indispensable to him almost as his daily bread, To +his heart there is no road so ready as that of presenting a tall man +or two. Friedrich Wilhelm's regiments are now, by his exact new +regulations, levied and recruited each in its own Canton, or specific +district: there all males as soon as born are enrolled; liable to serve, +when they have grown to years and strength. All grown men (under certain +exceptions, as of a widow's eldest son, or of the like evidently ruinous +cases) are liable to serve; Captain of the Regiment and AMTMANN of the +Canton settle between them which grown man it shall be. Better for you +not to be tall! In fact it is almost a kindness of Heaven to be gifted +with some safe impediment of body, slightly crooked back or the like, if +you much dislike the career of honor under Friedrich Wilhelm. A general +shadow of unquiet apprehension we can well fancy hanging over those +rural populations, and much unpleasant haggling now and then;--nothing +but the King's justice that can be appealed to. King's justice, very +great indeed, but heavily checked by the King's value for handsome +soldiers. + +Happily his value for industrial laborers and increase of population is +likewise great. Townsfolk, skilful workmen as the theory supposes, are +exempt; the more ingenious classes, generally, his Majesty exempts in +this respect, to encourage them in others. For, on the whole, he is not +less a Captain of Work, to his Nation, than of other things. What he did +for Prussia in the way of industries, improvements, new manufactures, +new methods; in settling "colonies," tearing up drowned bogs and +subduing them into dry cornfields; in building, draining, digging, and +encouraging or forcing others to do so, would take a long chapter. He is +the enemy of Chaos, not the friend of it, wherever you meet with him. + +For example, Potsdam itself. Potsdam, now a pleasant, grassy, leafy +place, branching out extensively in fine stone architecture, with swept +pavements; where, as in other places, the traveller finds land and water +separated into two firmaments,--Friedrich Wilhelm found much of it a +quagmire, land and water still weltering in one. In these very years, +his cuttings, embankments, buildings, pile-drivings there, are enormous; +and his perseverance needs to be invincible. For instance, looking +out, one morning after heavy rain, upon some extensive anti-quagmire +operations and strong pile-drivings, he finds half a furlong of his +latest heavy piling clean gone. What in the world has become of it? +Pooh, the swollen lake has burst it topsy-turvy; and it floats yonder, +bottom uppermost, a half-furlong of distracted liquid-peat. Whereat his +Majesty gave a loud laugh, says Bielfeld, [Baron de Bielfeld, _Lettres +Familieres_ (second edition, a Leide, 1767), i. 31.] and commenced anew. +The piles now stand firm enough, like the rest of the Earth's crust, and +carry strong ashlar houses and umbrageous trees for mankind; and trivial +mankind can walk in clean pumps there, shuddering or sniggering at +Friedrich Wilhelm, as their humor may be. + +No danger of this "Canton-system" of recruitment to the more ingenious +classes, who could do better than learn drill. Nor, to say truth, does +the poor clayey peasant suffer from it, according to his apprehensions. +Often perhaps, could he count profit and loss, he might find himself +a gainer: the career of honor turns out to be, at least, a career of +practical Stoicism and Spartanism; useful to any peasant or to any +prince. Cleanliness, of person and even of mind; fixed rigor of method, +sobriety, frugality, these are virtues worth acquiring. Sobriety in +the matter of drink is much attended to here: his Majesty permits no +distillation of strong-waters in Potsdam, or within so many miles; +[Fassmann, p. 728.] nor is sale of such allowed, except in the most +intensely select manner. The soldier's pay is in the highest degree +exiguous; not above three halfpence a day, for a common foot-soldier, +in addition to what rations he has:--but it is found adequate to its +purpose, too; supports the soldier in sound health, vigorously fit for +his work; into which points his Majesty looks with his own eyes, and +will admit no dubiety. Often, too, if not already OFTENEST (as it +ultimately grew to be), the peasant-soldier gets home for many months of +the year, a soldier-ploughman; and labors for his living in the old way. +His Captain (it is one of the Captain's perquisites, who is generally a +veteran of fifty, with a long Spartan training, before he gets so high) +pockets the pay of all these furloughs, supernumerary to the real work +of the regiment;--and has certain important furnishings to yield in +return. + +At any rate, enrolment, in time of peace, cannot fall on many: three or +four recruits in the year, to replace vacancies, will carry the Canton +through its crisis. For we are to note withal, the third part of every +regiment can, and should by rule, consist of "foreigners,"--men not born +Prussians. These are generally men levied in the Imperial Free-towns; +"in the REICH" or Empire, as they term it; that is to say, or is mainly +to say, in the countries of Germany that are not Austrian or Prussian. +For this foreign third-part too, the recruits must be got; excuses +not admissible for Captain or Colonel; nothing but recruits of the due +inches will do. Captain and Colonel (supporting their enterprise on +frugal adequate "perquisites," hinted of above) have to be on the +outlook; vigilantly, eagerly; and must contrive to get them. Nay, we can +take supernumerary recruits; and have in fact always on hand, attached +to each regiment, a stock of such. Any number of recruits, that stand +well on their legs, are welcome; and for a tall man there is joy in +Potsdam, almost as if he were a wise man or a good man. + +The consequence is, all countries, especially all German countries, are +infested with a new species of predatory two-legged animals: Prussian +recruiters. They glide about, under disguise if necessary; lynx-eyed, +eager almost as the Jesuit hounds are; not hunting the souls of men, as +the spiritual Jesuits do, but their bodies in a merciless carnivorous +manner. Better not to be too tall, in any country, at present! Irish +Kirkman could not be protected by the aegis of the British Constitution +itself. In general, however, the Prussian recruiter, on British ground, +reports, That the people are too well off, that there is little to be +done in those parts. A tall British sailor, if we pick him up +strolling about Memel or the Baltic ports, is inexorably claimed by the +Diplomatists; no business do-able till after restoration of him; and +he proves a mere loss to us. [Despatches in the State-Paper Office.] +Germany, Holland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, these are the fruitful +fields for us, and there we do hunt with some vigor. + +For example, in the town of Julich there lived and worked a tall young +carpenter: one day a well-dressed positive-looking gentleman ("Baron von +Hompesch," the records name him) enters the shop; wants "a stout chest, +with lock on it, for household purposes; must be of such and such +dimensions, six feet six in length especially, and that is an +indispensable point,--in fact it will be longer than yourself, I think, +Herr Zimmermann: what is the cost; when can it be ready?" Cost, time, +and the rest are settled. "A right stout chest, then; and see you don't +forget the size; if too short, it will be of no use to me: mind;"--"JA +WOHL! GEWISS!" And the positive-looking, well-clad gentleman goes his +ways. At the appointed day he reappears; the chest is ready;--we hope, +an unexceptionable article? "Too short, as I dreaded!" says the positive +gentleman. "Nay, your honor," says the carpenter, "I am certain it is +six feet six!" and takes out his foot-rule.--"Pshaw, it was to be longer +than yourself." "Well, it is."--"No it isn't!" The carpenter, to end the +matter, gets into his chest; and will convince any and all mortals. No +sooner is he in, rightly flat, than the positive gentleman, a Prussian +recruiting officer in disguise, slams down the lid upon him; locks it; +whistles in three stout fellows, who pick up the chest, gravely walk +through the streets with it, open it in a safe place; and find-horrible +to relate--the poor carpenter dead; choked by want of air in this +frightful middle-passage of his. [Forster, ii. 305, 306; Pollnitz, ii. +518, 519.] Name of the Town is given, Julich as above; date not. And if +the thing had been only a popular Myth, is it not a significant one? +But it is too true; the tall carpenter lay dead, and Hompesch got +"imprisoned for life" by the business. + +Burgermeisters of small towns have been carried off; in one case, "a +rich merchant in Magdeburg," whom it cost a large sum to get free +again. [Stenzel, iii. 356.] Prussian recruiters hover about barracks, +parade-grounds, in Foreign Countries; and if they see a tall soldier +(the Dutch have had instances, and are indignant at them), will +persuade him to desert,--to make for the country where soldier-merit is +understood, and a tall fellow of parts will get his pair of colors in +no-time. + +But the highest stretch of their art was probably that done on +the Austrian Ambassador,--tall Herr von Bentenrieder; tallest of +Diplomatists; whom Fassmann, till the Fair of St. Germain, had +considered the tallest of men. Bentenrieder was on his road as Kaiser's +Ambassador to George I., in those Congress-of-Cambrai times; serenely +journeying on; when, near by Halberstadt, his carriage broke. Carriage +takes some time in mending; the tall Diplomatic Herr walks on, will +stretch his long legs, catch a glimpse of the Town withal, till they get +it ready again. And now, at some Guard-house of the place, a Prussian +Officer inquires, not too reverently of a nobleman without carriage, +"Who are you?" "Well," answered he smiling, "I am BOTSCHAFTER +(Message-bearer) from his Imperial Majesty. And who may you be that +ask?"--"To the Guard-house with us!" Whither he is marched accordingly. +"Kaiser's messenger, why not?" Being a most tall handsome man, this +Kaiser's BOTSCHAFTER, striding along on foot here, the Guard-house +Officials have decided to keep him, to teach him Prussian +drill-exercise;--and are thrown into a singular quandary, when his +valets and suite come up, full of alarm dissolving into joy, and call +him "Excellenz!" [Pollnitz, ii. 207-209.] + +Tall Herr von Bentenrieder accepted the prostrate apology of these +Guard-house Officials. But he naturally spoke of the matter to George +I.; whose patience, often fretted by complaints on that head, seems to +have taken fire at this transcendent instance of Prussian insolency. In +consequence of this adventure, he commenced, says Pollnitz, a system +of decisive measures; of reprisals even, and of altogether peremptory, +minatory procedures, to clear Hanover of this nuisance; and to make it +cease, in very fact, and not in promise and profession merely. +These were the first rubs Queen Sophie met with, in pushing on the +Double-Marriage; and sore rubs they were, though she at last got over +them. Coming on the back of that fine Charlottenburg Visit, almost +within year and day, and directly in the teeth of such friendly aspects +and prospects, this conduct on the part of his Britannic Majesty much +grieved and angered Friedrich Wilhelm; and in fact involved him in +considerable practical troubles. + +For it was the signal of a similar set of loud complaints, and menacing +remonstrances (with little twinges of fulfilment here and there) from +all quarters of Germany; a tempest of trouble and public indignation +rising everywhere, and raining in upon Friedrich Wilhelm and this +unfortunate Hobby of his. No riding of one's poor Hobby in peace +henceforth. Friedrich Wilhelm always answered, what was only +superficially the fact, That HE knew nothing of these violences and acts +of ill-neighborship; he, a just King, was sorrier than any man to hear +of them; and would give immediate order that they should end. But they +always went on again, much the same; and never did end. I am sorry +a just King, led astray by his Hobby, answers thus what is only +superficially the fact. But it seems he cannot help it: his Hobby is too +strong for him; regardless of curb and bridle in this instance. Let us +pity a man of genius, mounted on so ungovernable a Hobby; leaping +the barriers, in spite of his best resolutions. Perhaps the poetic +temperament is more liable to such morbid biases, influxes of +imaginative crotchet, and mere folly that cannot be cured? Friedrich +Wilhelm never would or could dismount from his Hobby: but he rode +him under much sorrow henceforth; under showers of anger and +ridicule;--contumelious words and procedures, as it were SAXA ET FAECES, +battering round him, to a heavy extent; the rider a victim of Tragedy +and Farce both at once. + + + + +QUEEN SOPHIE'S TROUBLES: GRUMKOW WITH THE OLD DESSAUER, AND GRUMKOW +WITHOUT HIM. + +Queen Sophie had, by delicate management, got over those first rubs, aud +arrived at a Treaty of Hanover, and clear ground again; far worse rubs +lay ahead; but smooth travelling, towards such a goal, was not possible +for this Queen. Poor Lady, her Court, as we discern from Wilhelmina +and the Books, is a sad welter of intrigues, suspicions; of treacherous +chambermaids, head-valets, pickthank scouts of official gentlemen and +others striving to supplant one another. Satan's Invisible World very +busy against Queen Sophie! Under any terms, much more under those of the +Double-Marriage, her place in a kindly but suspicious Husband's favor +was difficult to maintain. Restless aspirants, climbing this way or +that, by ladder-steps discoverable in this abstruse element, are never +wanting, and have the due eavesdropping satellites, now here, now there. +Queen Sophie and her party have to walk warily, as if among precipices +and pitfalls. Of all which wide welter of extinct contemptibilities, +then and there so important, here and now become minus quantities, we +again notice the existence, but can undertake no study or specification +whatever. Two Incidents, the latter of them dating near the point where +we now are, will sufficiently instruct the reader what a welter this +was, in which Queen Sophie and her bright little Son, the new Major of +the Potsdam Giants, had to pass their existence. + +Incident First fell out some six years ago or more,--in 1719, year of +the Heidelberg Protestants, of Clement the Forger, when his Majesty +"slept for weeks with a pistol under his pillow," and had other +troubles. His Majesty, on one of his journeys, which were always many, +was taken suddenly ill at Brandenburg, that year: so violently ill, that +thinking himself about to die, he sent for his good Queen, and made a +Will appointing her Regent in case of his decease. His Majesty quite +recovered before long. But Grumkow and the old Dessauer, main aspirants; +getting wind of this Will, and hunting out the truth of it,--what a +puddling of the waters these two made in consequence; stirring up mire +and dirt round the good Queen, finding she had been preferred to them! +[Wilhelmina, i. 26, 29.] Nay Wilhelmina, in her wild way, believes they +had, not long after, planned to "fire a Theatre" about the King, one +afternoon, in Berlin City, and take his life, thereby securing for +themselves such benefit in prospect as there might be! Not a doubt of +it, thinks Wilhelmina: "The young Margraf, [Born 1700 (see vol. v. p. +393.)] our precious Cousin, of Schwedt, is not he Sister's-son of that +Old Dessauer? Grandson of the Great Elector, even as Papa is. Papa once +killed (and our poor Crown-Prince also made away with),--that young +Margraf, and his blue Fox-tiger of an Uncle over him, is King in +Prussia! Obviously they meant to burn that Theatre, and kill Papa!" This +is Wilhelmina's distracted belief; as, doubtless, it was her Mother's +on the day in question: a jealous, much-suffering, transcendently +exasperated Mother, as we see. + +Incident Second shows us those, two rough Gentlemen fallen out of +partnership, into open quarrel and even duel. "Duel at the Copenick +Gate," much noised of in the dull old Prussian Books,--though always in +a reserved manner; not even the DATE, as if that were dangerous, being +clearly given! It came in the wake of that Hanover Treaty, as is now +guessed; the two having taken opposite sides on that measure, and got +provoked into ripping up old sores in general. Dessau was AGAINST King +George and the Treaty, it appears; having his reasons, family-reasons +of old standing: Grumkow, a bribable gentleman, was FOR,--having also +perhaps his reasons. Enough, it came to altercations, objurgations +between the two; which rose ever higher,--rose at length to +wager-of-battle. Indignant challenge on the part of the Old Dessauer; +which, however, Grumkow, not regarded as a BARESARK in the fighting way, +regrets that his Christian principles do not, forsooth, allow him to +accept. The King is appealed to; the King, being himself, though an +orthodox Christian, yet a still more orthodox Soldier, decides That, +on the whole, General Grumkow cannot but accept this challenge from the +Field-marshal Prince of Dessau. + +Dessau is on the field, at the Copenick Gate, accordingly,--late-autumn +afternoon (I calculate) of the year 1725;--waits patiently till Grumkow +make his appearance. Grumkow, with a chosen second, does at last appear; +advances pensively with slow steps. Gunpowder Dessau, black as a silent +thunder-cloud, draws his sword: and Grumkow--does not draw his; presents +it undrawn, with unconditional submission and apology: "Slay me, if +you like, old Friend, whom I have injured!" Whereat Dessau, uttering +no word, uttering only some contemptuous snort, turns his back on the +phenomenon; mounts his horse and rides home. [Pollnitz, ii. 212, 214.] +A divided man from this Grumkow henceforth. The Prince waited on her +Majesty; signified his sorrow for past estrangements; his great wish now +to help her, but his total inability, being ousted by Grumkow: We are +for Halle, Madam, where our Regiment is; there let us serve his Majesty, +since we cannot here! [Wilhelmina, i. 90, 93.]--And in fact the Old +Dessauer lives mostly there in time coming; sunk inarticulate in tactics +of a truly deep nature, not stranding on politics of a shallow;--a man +still memorable in the mythic traditions of that place. Better to drill +men to perfection, and invent iron ramrods, against the day they shall +be needed, than go jostling, on such terms, with cattle of the Grumkow +kind! And thus, we perceive, Grumkow is in, and the Old Dessauer +out; and there has been "a change of Ministry," change of +"Majesty's-Advisers," brought about;--may the Advice going be wiser now! + +What the young Crown-Prince did, said, thought, in such environment, +of backstairs diplomacies, female sighs and aspirations, Grumkow duels, +drillings in the Giant Regiment, is not specified for us in the smallest +particular, in the extensive rubbish-books that have been written about +him. Ours is, to indicate that such environment was: how a lively soul, +acted on by it, did not fail to react, chameleon-like taking color +from it, and contrariwise taking color against it, must be left to the +reader's imagination--One thing we have gathered and will not forget, +That the Old Dessauer is out, and Grumkow in, that the rugged Son +of Gunpowder, drilling men henceforth at Halle, and in a dumb +way meditating tactics as few ever did, has no share in the foul +enchantments that now supervene at court. + + + + +Chapter VI. -- ORDNANCE-MASTER SECKENDORF CROSSES THE PALACE ESPLANADE. + +The Kaiser's terror and embarrassment at the conclusion of the Hanover +Treaty, as we saw, were extreme. War possible or likely; and nothing but +the termagant caprices of Elizabeth Farnese to depend on: no cash from +the Sea-Powers; only cannonshot, invasion and hostility, from their cash +and them: What is to be done? To "caress the pride of Spain;" to keep +alive the hopes, in that quarter, of marrying their Don Carlos, the +supplementary Infant, to our eldest Archduchess; which indeed has +set the Sea-Powers dreadfully on fire, but which does leave Parma and +Piacenza quiet for the present, and makes the Pragmatic Sanction too an +affair of Spain's own: this is one resource, though a poor one, and a +dangerous. Another is, to make alliance with Russia, by well flattering +the poor little brown Czarina there: but is not that a still poorer? And +what third is there!-- + +There is a third worth both the others, could it be got done: To detach +Friedrich Wilhelm from those dangerous Hanover Confederates, and bring +him gently over to ourselves. He has an army of 60,000, in perfect +equipment, and money to maintain them so. Against us or for us,--60,000 +PLUS or 60,000 MINUS;--that will mean 120,000 fighting men; a most +weighty item in any field there is like to be. If it lie in the power +of human art, let us gain this wild irritated King of Prussia. Dare +any henchman of ours venture to go, with honey-cakes, with pattings and +cajoleries, and slip the imperial muzzle well round the snout of that +rugged ursine animal? An iracund bear, of dangerous proportions, and +justly irritated against us at present? Our experienced FELDZEUGMEISTER, +Ordnance-Master and Diplomatist, Graf von Seckendorf, a conscientious +Protestant, and the cunningest of men, able to lie to all lengths,--dare +he try it? He has fought in all quarters of the world; and lied in all, +where needful; and saved money in all: he will try it, and will succeed +in it too! [Pollnitz, ii. 235; Stenzel, iii. 544; Forster, ii. 59, iii. +235, 239.] + +The Second Act, therefore, of this foolish World-Drama of the +Double-Marriage opens,--on the 11th May, 1726, towards sunset, in the +TABAGIE of the Berlin Palace, as we gather from laborious comparison of +windy Pollnitz with other indistinct witnesses of a dreary nature,--in +the following manner:-- + +Prussian Majesty sits smoking at the window; nothing particular going +on. A square-built shortish steel-gray Gentleman, of military cut, past +fifty, is strolling over the SCHLOSSPLATZ (spacious Square in front of +the Palace), conspicuous amid the sparse populations there; pensively +recreating himself, in the yellow sunlight and long shadows, as after a +day's hard labor or travel. "Who is that?" inquires Friedrich Wilhelm, +suspending his tobacco. Grumkow answers cautiously, after survey: He +thinks it must be Ordnance-Master Seckendorf; who was with him +to-day; passing on rapidly towards Denmark, on business that will not +wait.--"Experienced Feldzeugmeister Graf von Seckendorf, whom we stand +in correspondence with, of late, and were expecting about this time? +Whom we have known at the Siege of Stralsund, nay ever since the +Marlborough times and the Siege of Menin, in war and peace; and have +always reckoned a solid reasonable man and soldier: Why has he not +come to us?"--"Your Majesty," confesses Grumkow, "his business is so +pressing! Business in Denmark will not wait. Seckendorf owned he +had come slightly round, in his eagerness to see our grand Review at +Tempelhof the day after to-morrow: What soldier would omit the sight (so +he was pleased to intimate) of soldiering carried to the non-plus-ultra? +But he hoped to do it quite incognito, among the general public;--and +then to be at the gallop again: not able to have the honor of paying +his court at this time."--"Court? NARREN-POSSEN (Nonsense)!" answers +Friedrich Wilhelm,--and opening the window, beckons Seckendorf up, with +his own royal head and hand. The conversation of a man who had rational +sense, and could tell him anything, were it only news af foreign parts +in a rational manner, was always welcome to Friedrich Wilhelm. + +And so Seckendorf, how can he help it, is installed in the Tabagie; +glides into pleasant conversation there. A captivating talker; solid for +religion, for the rights of Germany against intrusive French and others: +such insight, orthodoxy, sense and ingenuity; pleasant to hear; and all +with the due quantity of oil, though he "both snuffles and lisps;" and +has privately, in case of need, a capacity of lying,--for he curiously +distils you any lie, in his religious alembics, till it become tolerable +to his conscience, or even palatable, as elixirs are;--capacity of +double-distilled lying probably the greatest of his day.--Seckendorf +assists at the grand Review, 13th May, 1726; witnesses with unfeigned +admiration the non-plus-ultra of manoeuvring, and, in fact, the general +management, military and other, of this admirable King. [Pollnitz, ii. +235; Fassmann, pp. 367, 368.] Seckendorf, no question of it, will do +his Denmark business swiftly, then, since your Majesty is pleased so to +wish. Seckendorf, sure enough, will return swiftly to such a King, whose +familiar company, vouchsafed him in this noble manner, he likes,--oh, +how he likes it! + +In a week or two, Seckendorf is back to Berlin; attends his Majesty +on the annual Military Tour through Preussen; attends him everywhere, +becoming quite a necessary of life to his Majesty; and does not go away +at all. Seckendorf's business, if his Majesty knew it, will not lead +him "away;" but lies here on this spot; and is now going on; the +magic-apparatus, Grumkow the mainspring of it, getting all into gear! +Grumkow was once clear for King George and the Hanover Treaty, having +his reasons then; but now he has other reasons, and is clear against +those foreign connections. "Hm, hah--Yes, my estimable, justly powerful +Herr von Grumkow, here is a little Pension of 1,600 ducats (only 500 +pounds as yet), which the Imperial Majesty, thinking of the service +you may do Prussia and Germany and him, graciously commands me to +present;--only 500 pounds by the year as yet; but there shall be no lack +of money if we prosper!" [Forster, iii. 233, 232; see also iv. 172, 121, +157, &c.] + +And so there are now two Black-Artists, of the first quality, busy on +the unconscious Friedrich Wilhelm; and Seckendorf, for the next seven +years, will stick to Friedrich Wilhelm like his shadow; and fascinate +his whole existence and him, as few wizards could have done. Friedrich +Wilhelm, like St. Paul in Melita, warming his innocent hands at the +fire of dry branches here kindled for him,--that miracle of a venomous +serpent is this that has fixed itself upon his finger? To Friedrich +Wilhelm's enchanted sense it seems a bird-of-paradise, trustfully +perching there; but it is of the whip-snake kind, or a worse; and will +stick to him tragically, if also comically, for years to come. The +world has seen the comedy of it, and has howled scornful laughter upon +Friedrich Wilhelm for it: but there is a tragic side, not so well +seen into, where tears are due to the poor King; and to certain others +horsewhips, and almost gallows-ropes, are due!--Yes, had Seckendorf and +Grumkow both been well hanged, at this stage of the affair, whereby +the affair might have soon ended on fair terms, it had been welcome to +mankind; welcome surely to the present Editor; for one; such a saving to +him, of time wasted, of disgust endured! And indeed it is a solacement +he has often longed for, in these dreary operations of his. But the +Fates appointed otherwise; we have all to accept our Fate!-- + +Grumkow is sworn to Imperial orthodoxy, then,--probably the vulpine MIND +(so to term it) went always rather that way, and only his interest +the other;--Grumkow is well bribed, supplied for bribing others where +needful; stands orthodox now, under peril of his very head. All +things have been got distilled into the palatable state, spiritual and +economic, for oneself and one's grand Trojan-Horse of a Grumkow; and the +adventure proceeds apace. Seckendorf sits nightly in the TABAGIE (a +kind of "Smoking Parliament," as we shall see anon); attends on all +promenades and journeys: one of the wisest heads, and so pleasant in +discourse, he is grown indispensable, and a necessary of life to us. +Seckendorf's Biographer computes, "he must have ridden, in those seven +years, continually attending his Majesty, above 5,000 German miles," +[Anonymous (Seckendorf's Grand-Nephew) _Versuch einer Lebensbeschreibung +des Feldmarschalls Grafen von Seckendorf_ (Leipzig, 1792, 1794), i. +6.]--that is 25,000 English miles; or a trifle more than the length of +the Terrestrial Equator. + +In a month or two, [13th August, 1726 (Preuss, i. 37).] +Seckendorf--since Majesty vouchsafes to honor us by wishing +it--contrives to get nominated Kaiser's Minister at Berlin: unlimited +prospects of Tabagie, and good talk, now opening on Majesty. And +impartial Grumkow, in Tabagie or wherever we are, cannot but admit, now +and then, that the Excellenz Herr Graf Ordnance-Master has a deal of +reason in what he says about Foreign Politics, about intrusive French +and other points. "Hm, Na," muses Friedrich Wilhelm to himself, "if the +Kaiser had not been so lofty on us in that Heidelberg-Protestant affair, +in the Ritter-Dienst business, in those damned 'recruiting' brabbles; +always a very high-sniffing surly Kaiser to us!" For in fact the Kaiser +has, all along, used Friedrich Wilhelm bitterly ill; and contemplates +no better usage of him, except in show. Usage? thinks the Kaiser: A big +Prussian piece of Cannon, whom we wish to enchant over to us! Did LAZY +PEG complain of her "usage"?--So that the Excellenz and Grumkow have a +heavy problem of it; were they not so diligent, and the Cannon itself +well disposed. "Those BLITZ FRANZOSEN (blasted French)!" growls +Friedrich Wilhelm sometimes, in the Tobacco-Parliament: [Forster, ii. +12, &c.] for he hates the French, and would fain love his Kaiser; being +German to the bone, and of right loyal heart, though counted only a +piece of cannon by some. For one thing, his Prussian Majesty declines +signing that Treaty of Hanover a second time: now when the Dutch accede +to it, after almost a year's trouble with them, the Prussian Ambassador, +singular to observe, "has no orders to sign;" leaves the English with +their Hollanders and Blitz Franzosen to sign by themselves, this time. +[9th August, 1726. (Boyer, _The Political State of Great Rrilain,_ a +monthly periodical, vol. xxxii. p. 77, which is the number for July, +1726.)] "We will wait, we will wait!" thinks his Prussian Majesty:--"Who +knows?" + +"But then Julich and Berg!" urges he always; "Britannic Majesty and +the Blitz Franzosen were to secure me the reversion there. That was +the essential point!"--For this too Excellenz has a remedy; works out +gradually a remedy from headquarters, the amiable dexterous man: "Kaiser +will do the like, your Majesty; Kaiser himself will secure it you!"--In +brief, some three months after Seckendorf's instalment as Kaiser's +Minister, not yet five months since his appearance in the Schlossplatz +that May evening,--it is now Hunting-season, and we are at Wusterhausen; +Majesty, his two Black-Artists and the proper satellites on both sides +all there,--a new and opposite Treaty, in extreme privacy, on the 12th +of October, 1726, is signed at that sequestered Hunting-Schloss: "Treaty +of Wusterhausen" so called; which was once very famous and mysterious, +and caused many wigs to wag. Wigs to wag, in those days especially, when +knowledge of it was first had; the rather as only half knowledge could +be had of it;--or can, mourns Dryasdust, who has still difficulties +about some "secret articles" in the Document. [Buchholz, i. 94 n.] +Courage, my friend; they are now of no importance to any creature. + +The essential purport of this Treaty, [Given IN EXTENSO (without the +secret articles) in Forster, iv. 159-166.] legible to all eyes, is, +"That Friedrich Wilhelm silently drops the Hanover Treaty and Blitz +Franzosen; and explicitly steps over to the Kaiser's side; stipulates to +assist the Kaiser with so many thousand, if attacked in Germany by any +Blitz Franzose or intrusive Foreigner whatever. In return for which, the +Kaiser, besides assisting Prussia in the like case with a like quantity +of thousands, engages, in circuitous chancery language, To be helpful, +and humanly speaking effectual, in that grand matter of Julich and +Berg;--somewhat in the following strain: 'To our Imperial mind it does +appear the King of Prussia has manifest right to the succession in +Julich and Berg; right grounded on express ERBVERGLEICH of 1624, not to +speak of Deeds subsequent: the Imperial mind, as supreme judge of +such matters in the Reich, will not fail to decide this Cause soon and +justly, should it come to that. But we hope it may take a still better +course: for the Imperial mind will straightway set about persuading +Kur-Pfalz to comply peaceably; and even undertakes to have something +done, that way, before six months pass.'" [Art. v. in Forster, ubi +supra.] + +Humanly speaking, surely the Imperial mind will be effectual in the +Julich and Berg matter. But it was very necessary to use circuitous +chancery language,--inasmuch as the Imperial mind, desirous also to +secure Kur-Pfalz's help in this sore crisis, had, about three months +ago, [Treaty with Kur-Pfalz, 16th August, 1726 (Forster, ii. 71).] +expressly engaged to Kur-Pfalz, That Julich and Berg should NOT go to +Friedrich Wilhelm in terms of the old Deed, but to Kur-Pfalz's Cousins +of Sulzbach, whom the old gentleman (in spite of Deeds) was obstinate +to prefer! There is no doubt about that fact, about that self-devouring +pair of facts. To such straits is a Kaiser driven when he gets deep into +spectre-hunting. + +This is the once famous, now forgotten, "Treaty of Wusterhausen, 12th +October, 1726;" which proved so consolatory to the Kaiser in that dread +crisis of his Spectre-Hunt; and the effects of which are very visible +in this History, if nowhere else. It caught up the Prussian-English +Double-Marriage; launched it into the huge tide of Imperial Spectre +Politics, into the awful swaggings and swayings of the Terrestrial LIBRA +in general; and nearly broke the heart of several Royal persons; of a +memorable Crown-Prince, among others. Which last is now, pretty much, +its sole claim to be ever mentioned again by mankind. As there was +no performance, nor an intention of any, in that Julich-Berg matter, +Excellenz Seckendorf had the task henceforth of keeping, by art-magic +or the PRETERnatural method,--that is, by mere help of Grumkow and the +Devil,--his Prussian Majesty steady to the Kaiser nevertheless. +Always well divided from the English especially. Which the Excellency +Seckendorf managed to do. For six or seven years coming; or, in fact, +till these Spectre-chasings ended, or ran else-whither for consummation. +Steady always, jealous of the English; sometimes nearly mad, but always +ready as a primed cannon: so Friedrich Wilhelm was accordingly managed +to be kept;--his own Household gone almost into delirium; he himself +looking out, with loyally fierce survey, for any Anti-Kaiser War: "When +do we go off, then?"--though none ever came. And indeed nothing came; +and except those torments to young Friedrich and others, it was all +Nothing. One of the strangest pieces of Black-Art ever done. + +Excellenz Seckendorf, whom Friedrich Wilhelm so loves, is by no means a +beautiful man; far the reverse. Bodily,--and the spirit corresponds,--a +stiff-backed, petrified, stony, inscrutable-looking, and most +unbeautiful old Intriguer. Portraits of him, which are frequent, tell +all one story. The brow puckered together, in a wide web of wrinkles +from each temple, as if it meant to hide the bad pair of eyes, which +look suspicion; inquiry, apprehension, habit of double-distilled +mendacity; the indeterminate projecting chin, with its thick, chapped +under-lip, is shaken out, or shoved out, in mill-hopper fashion,--as if +to swallow anything there may be, spoken thing or other, and grind it +to profitable meal for itself. Spiritually he was an old Soldier let for +hire; an old Intriguer, Liar, Fighter, what you like. What we may call +a human Soul standing like a hackney-coach, this half-century past, with +head, tongue, heart, conscience, at the hest of a discerning public and +its shilling. + +There is considerable faculty, a certain stiff-necked strength in the +old fellow; in fact, nature had been rather kind to him; and certainly +his Uncle and Guardian--the distinguished Seckendorf who did the +HISTORIA LUTHERANISMI, a RITTER, and man of good mark, in Ernst THE +PIOUS of Saxe-Gotha's time--took pains about his education. But Nature's +gifts have not prospered with him: how could they, in that hackney-coach +way of life? Considerable gifts, we say; shrunk into a strange +bankruptcy in the development of them. A stiff-backed, close-fisted old +gentleman, with mill-hopper chin,--with puckery much-inquiring eyes, +which have never discovered any noble path for him in this world. He is +a strictly orthodox Protestant; zealous about external points of moral +conduct; yet scruples not, for the Kaiser's shilling, to lie with energy +to all lengths; and fight, according to the Reichs-Hofrath code, for any +god or man. He is gone mostly to avarice, in these mature years; all +his various strengths turned into strength of grasping. He is now +fifty-four; a man public in the world, especially since he became the +Kaiser's man: but he has served various masters, in various capacities, +and been in many wars;--and for the next thirty years we shall still +occasionally meet him, seldom to our advantage. + +He comes from Anspach originally; and has kindred Seckendorfs in office +there, old Ritters in that Country. He inherited a handsome castle and +estate, Meuselwitz, near Altenburg in the Thuringen region, from that +Uncle, Ernst of Saxe-Gotha's man, whom we spoke of; and has otherwise +gained wealth; all which he holds like a vice. Once, at Meuselwitz, they +say, he and some young secretary, of a smartish turn, sat working or +conversing, in a large room with only one candle to illuminate it: the +secretary, snuffing the candle, snuffed it out: "Pshaw," said Seckendorf +impatiently, "where did you learn to handle snuffers?" "Excellenz, in +a place where there were two lights kept!" replied the other. [_ +Sechendorje Leben_ (already cited), i. 4.]--For the rest, he has a good +old Wife at Meuselwitz, who is now old, and had never any children; +who loves him much, and is much loved by him, it would appear: this is +really the best fact I ever knew of him,--poor bankrupt creature; +gone all to spiritual rheumatism, to strict orthodoxy, with unlimited +mendacity; and avarice as the general outcome! Stiff-backed, +close-fisted strength, all grown wooden or stony; yet some little well +of human Sympathy does lie far in the interior: one wishes, after all +(since he could not be got hanged in time for us), good days to his poor +old Wife and him! He both lisps and snuffles, as was mentioned; writes +cunningly acres of despatches to Prince Eugene; never swears, though a +military man, except on great occasions one oath, JARNI-BLEU,--which is +perhaps some flash-note version of CHAIR-DE-DIEU, like PARBLEU, 'Zounds +and the rest of them, which the Devil cannot prosecute you for; whereby +an economic man has the pleasure of swearing on cheap terms. + +Herr Pollnitz's account of Seckendorf is unusually emphatic; babbling +Pollnitz rises into a strain of pulpit eloquence, inspired by +indignation, on this topic: "He affected German downrightness, to which +he was a stranger; and followed, under a deceitful show of piety, all +the principles of Machiavel. With the most sordid love of money he +combined boorish manners. Lies [of the distilled kind chiefly] had so +become a habit with him, that he had altogether lost notion of employing +truth in speech. It was the soul of a usurer, inhabiting now the body of +a war-captain, now transmigrating into that of a huckster. False oaths, +and the abominablest basenesses, cost him nothing, so his object might +be reached. He was miserly with his own, but lavish with his Master's +money; daily he gave most striking proofs of both these habitudes. And +this was the man whom we saw, for a space of time, at the head of the +Kaiser's Armies, and at the helm of the State and of the German Empire," +[Pollnitz, ii. 238.]--having done the Prussian affair so well. + +This cunning old Gentleman, to date from the autumn of 1726, may be said +to have taken possession of Friedrich Wilhelm; to have gone into him, +Grumkow and he, as two devils would have done in the old miraculous +times: and, in many senses, it was they, not the nominal proprietor, +that lived Friedrich Wilhelm's life. For the next seven years, a figure +went about, not doubting it was Friedrich Wilhelm; but it was in reality +Seckendorf-and-Grumkow much more. These two, conjurer and his man, +both invisible, have caught their royal wild Bear; got a rope round his +muzzle;--and so dance him about; now terrifying, now exhilarating all +the market by the pranks he plays! Grumkow, a very Machiavel after his +sort, knew the nature of the royal animal as no other did. Grumkow, +purchased by his Pension of 500 pounds, is dog-cheap at the Money, as +Seckendorf often urges at Vienna, Is he not? And they add a touch of +extraordinary gift now and then, 40,000 florins (4,000 pounds) on one +occasion: [In 1732: Forster, iii. 232.] for "Grumkow DIENET EHRLICH +(serves honorably)," urges Seckendorf; and again, "If anybody deserves +favor [GNADE, meaning extra pay], it is this gentleman;"--WAHRLICH! +Purchased Grumkow has ample money at command, to purchase other people +needed; and does purchase; so that all things and persons can be +falsified and enchanted, as need is. By and by it has got so far, +that Friedrich Wilhelm's Ambassador at London maintains a +cipher-correspondence with Grumkow; and writes to Friedrich Wilhelm, +not what is passing in city or court there, but what Grumkow wishes +Friedrich Wilhelm to think is passing. + +Of insinuations, by assent or contradiction, potent if you know the +nature of the beast; of these we need not speak. Tabaks-Collegium has +become a workshop:--human nature can fancy it! Nay human nature can +still read it in the British State-Paper Office, to boundless stupendous +extent;--but ought mostly to suppress it when read. + +This is a very strange part of Friedrich Wilhelm's history; and has +caused much wonder in the world: Wilhelmina's Book rather aggravating +than assuaging that feeling, on the part of intelligent readers. A Book +written long afterwards, from her recollections, from her own oblique +point of view; in a beautifully shrill humor; running, not unnaturally, +into confused exaggerations and distortions of all kinds. Not +mendaciously written anywhere, yet erroneously everywhere. Wilhelmina +had no knowledge of the magical machinery that was at work: she +vaguely suspects Grumkow and Seckendorf; but does not guess, in the mad +explosions of Papa, that two devils have got into Papa, and are +doing the mischief. Trusting to memory alone, she misdates, mistakes, +misplaces; jumbles all things topsy-turvy;--giving, on the whole, an +image of affairs which is altogether oblique, dislocated, exaggerative; +and which, in fine, proves unintelligible, if you try to construe it +into a fact or thing DONE. Yet her Human Narrative, in that wide waste +of merely Pedant Maunderings, is of great worth to us. A green tree, +a leafy grove, better or worse, in the wilderness of dead bones and +sand,--how welcome! Many other Books have been written on the matter; +but these to my experience, only darken it more and more. Pull +Wilhelmina STRAIGHT, the best you can; deduct a twenty-five or sometimes +even a seventy-five per cent, from the exaggerative portions of her +statement; you will find her always true, lucid, charmingly human; +and by far the best authority on this part of her Brother's History. +State-Papers to some extent have also been printed on the matter; and +of written State-Papers, here in England and elsewhere, this Editor has, +had several hundred-weights distilled for him: but except as lights hung +out over Wilhelmina, nothing yet known, of published or manuscript, can +be regarded as good for much. + +O Heavens, had one but seven-league boots, to get across that +inane country,--a bottomless whirlpool of dust and cobwebs in many +places;--where, at any rate, we had so little to do! Elucidating, +rectifying, painfully contrasting, comparing, let us try to work +out some conceivable picture of this strange Imperial MUCH ADO ABOUT +NOTHING; and get our unfortunate Crown-Prince, and our unfortunate +selves, alive through it. + + + + +Chapter VII. -- TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + +In these distressing junctures, it may cheer the reader's spirits, and +will tend to explain for him what is coming, if we glance a little into +the Friedrich-Wilhelm TABAGIE (TABAKS-COLLEGIUM or Smoking College), +more worthy to be called Tobacco-Parliament, of which there have already +been incidental notices. Far too remarkable an Institution of the +country to be overlooked by us here. + +Friedrich Wilhelm, though an absolute Monarch, does not dream of +governing without Law, still less without Justice, which he knows well +to be the one basis for him and for all Kings and men. His life-effort, +prosecuted in a grand, unconscious, unvarying and instinctive way, may +be defined rather as the effort to find out everywhere in his affairs +what was justice; to make regulations, laws in conformity with that, and +to guide himself and his Prussia rigorously by these. Truly he is not +of constitutional turn; cares little about the wigs and formalities of +justice, pressing on so fiercely towards the essence and fact of it; he +has been known to tear asunder the wigs and formalities, in a notably +impatient manner, when they stood between him and the fact. But Prussia +has its Laws withal, tolerably abundant, tolerably fixed and supreme: +and the meanest Prussian man that could find out a definite Law, coming +athwart Friedrich Wilhelm's wrath, would check Friedrich Wilhelm in +mid-volley,--or hope with good ground to do it. Hope, we say; for the +King is in his own and his people's eyes, to some indefinite extent, +always himself the supreme ultimate Interpreter, and grand living codex, +of the Laws,--always to some indefinite extent;--and there remains for a +subject man nothing but the appeal to PHILIP SOBER, in some rash cases! +On the whole, however, Friedrich Wilhelm is by no means a lawless +Monarch; nor are his Prussians slaves by any means: they are patient, +stout-hearted, subject men, with a very considerable quantity of radical +fire, very well covered in; prevented from idle explosions, bound to +a respectful demeanor, and especially to hold their tongues as much as +possible. + +Friedrich Wilhelm has not the least shadow of a Constitutional +Parliament, nor even a Privy-Council, as we understand it; his Ministers +being in general mere Clerks to register and execute what he +had otherwise resolved upon: but he had his TABAKS-COLLEGIUM, +Tobacco-College, Smoking Congress, TABAGIE, which has made so much noise +in the world, and which, in a rough natural way: affords him the uses +of a Parliament, on most cheap terms, and without the formidable +inconveniences attached to that kind of Institution. A Parliament +reduced to its simplest expression, and, instead of Parliamentary +eloquence, provided with Dutch clay-pipes and tobacco: so we may define +this celebrated Tabagie of Friedrich Wilhelm's. + +Tabagies were not uncommon among German Sovereigns of that epoch: George +I. at Hanover had his Smoking-room, and select smoking Party on an +evening; and even at London, as we noticed, smoked nightly, wetting +his royal throat with thin beer, in presence of his fat and of his lean +Mistress, if there were no other company. Tobacco,--introduced by the +Swedish soldiers in the Thirty-Years War, say some; or even by the +English soldiers in the Bohemian or Palatinate beginnings of said War, +say others;--tobacco, once shown them, was enthusiastically adopted by +the German populations, long in want of such an article; and has done +important multifarious functions in that country ever since. For truly, +in Politics, Morality, and all departments of their Practical and +Speculative affairs, we may trace its influences, good and bad, to this +day. + +Influences generally bad; pacificatory but bad, engaging you in idle +cloudy dreams;--still worse, promoting composure among the palpably +chaotic and discomposed; soothing all things into lazy peace; that all +things may be left to themselves very much, and to the laws of gravity +and decomposition. Whereby German affairs are come to be greatly +overgrown with funguses in our Time; and give symptoms of dry and of +wet rot, wherever handled. George I., we say, had his Tabagie; and +other German Sovereigns had: but none of them turned it to a Political +Institution, as Friedrich Wilhelm did. The thrifty man; finding it +would serve in that capacity withal. He had taken it up as a commonplace +solace and amusement: it is a reward for doing strenuously the day's +heavy labors, to wind them up in this manner, in quiet society of +friendly human faces, into a contemplative smoke-canopy, slowly +spreading into the realm of sleep and its dreams. Friedrich Wilhelm was +a man of habitudes; his evening Tabagie became a law of Nature to him, +constant as the setting of the sun. Favorable circumstances, quietly +noticed and laid hold of by the thrifty man, developed this simple +evening arrangement of his into a sort of Smoking Parliament, small +but powerful, where State-consultations, in a fitful informal way, +took place; and the weightiest affairs might, by dexterous management, +cunning insinuation and manoeuvring from those that understood the art +and the place, he bent this way or that, and ripened towards such issue +as was desirable. + +To ascertain what the true course in regard to this or the other high +matter will be; what the public will think of it; and, in short, what +and how the Executive-Royal shall DO therein: this, the essential +function of a Parliament and Privy-Council, was here, by artless cheap +methods, under the bidding of mere Nature, multifariously done; mere +taciturnity and sedative smoke making the most of what natural intellect +there might be. The substitution of Tobacco-smoke for Parliamentary +eloquence is, by some, held to be a great improvement. Here is +Smelfungus's opinion, quaintly expressed, with a smile in it, which +perhaps is not all of joy:-- + +"Tobacco-smoke is the one element in which, by our European manners, men +can sit silent together without embarrassment, and where no man is bound +to speak one word more than he has actually and veritably got to say. +Nay, rather every man is admonished and enjoined by the laws of honor, +and even of personal ease, to stop short of that point; at all events, +to hold his peace and take to his pipe again, the instant he has spoken +his meaning, if he chance to have any. The results of which salutary +practice, if introduced into Constitutional Parliaments, might evidently +be incalculable. The essence of what little intellect and insight there +is in that room: we shall or can get nothing more out of any Parliament; +and sedative, gently soothing, gently clarifying tobacco-smoke (if the +room were well ventilated, open atop, and the air kept good), with the +obligation to a MINIMUM of speech, surely gives human intellect and +insight the best chance they can have. Best chance, instead of the worst +chance as at present: ah me, ah me, who will reduce fools to silence +again in any measure? Who will deliver men from this hideous nightmare +of Stump-Oratory, under which the grandest Nations are choking to a +nameless death, bleeding (too truly) from mouth and nose and ears, in +our sad days?" + +This Tobacco-College is the Grumkow-and-Seckendorf chief field of +action. These two gentlemen understand thoroughly the nature of the +Prussian Tobacco-Parliament; have studied the conditions of it to the +most intricate cranny: no English Whipper-in or eloquent Premier knows +his St. Stephen's better, or how to hatch a measure in that dim hot +element. By hint, by innuendo; by contemplative smoke, speech and +forbearance to speak; often looking one way and rowing another,--they +can touch the secret springs, and guide in a surprising manner the big +dangerous Fireship (for such every State-Parliament is) towards +the haven they intend for it. Most dexterous Parliament-men +(Smoke-Parliament); no Walpole, no Dundas, or immortal Pitt, First +or Second, is cleverer in Parliamentary practice. For their Fireship, +though smaller than the British, is very dangerous withal. Look at this, +for instance: Seckendorf, one evening, far contrary to his wont, which +was prostrate respect in easy forms, and always judicious submission +of one's own weaker judgment, towards his Majesty,--has got into some +difficult defence of the Kaiser; defence very difficult, or in reality +impossible. The cautious man is flustered by the intricacies of his +position, by his Majesty's indignant counter-volleys, and the +perilous necessity there is to do the impossible on the spur of the +instant;--gets into emphasis, answers his Majesty's volcanic fire by +incipient heat of his own; and, in short, seems in danger of forgetting +himself, and kindling the Tobacco-Parliament into a mere conflagration. +That will be an issue for us! And yet who dare interfere? Friedrich +Wilhelm's words, in high clangorous metallic plangency, and the +pathos of a lion raised by anger into song, fall hotter and hotter; +Seckendorf's puckered brow is growing of slate-color; his shelf-lip, +shuttling violently, lisps and snuffles mere unconciliatory +matter:--What on earth will become of us?--"Hoom! Boom!" dexterous +Grumkow has drawn a Humming-top from his pocket, and suddenly sent it +spinning. There it hums and caracoles, through the bottles and glasses; +reckless what dangerous breakage and spilth it may occasion. Friedrich +Wilhelm looked aside to it indignantly. "What is that?" inquired he, in +metallic tone still high. "Pooh, a toy I bought for the little Prince +August, your Majesty: am only trying it!" His Majesty understood the +hint, Seckendorf still better; and a jolly touch of laughter, on both +sides, brought the matter back into the safe tobacco-clouds again. +[Forster, ii. 110.] + +This Smoking Parliament or TABAKS-COLLEGIUM of his Prussian Majesty +was a thing much talked of in the world; but till Seckendorf and Grumkow +started their grand operations there, its proceedings are not on record; +nor indeed till then had its political or parliamentary function become +so decidedly evident. It was originally a simple Smoking-Club; got +together on hest of Nature, without ulterior intentions:--thus English +PARLIAMENTA themselves are understood to have been, in the old Norman +time, mere royal Christmas-Festivities, with natural colloquy or +PARLEYING between King and Nobles ensuing thereupon, and what +wisest consultation concerning the arduous things of the realm the +circumstances gave rise to. Such parleyings or consultations,--always +two in number in regard to every matter, it would seem, or even three; +one sober, one drunk, and one just after being drunk,--proving of +extreme service in practice, grew to be Parliament, with its three +readings, and what not. + +A Smoking-room,--with wooden furniture, we can suppose,--in each of his +Majesty's royal Palaces, was set apart for this evening service, and +became the Tabagie of his Majesty. A Tabagie-room in the Berlin Schloss, +another in the Potsdam, if the cicerone had any knowledge, could still +be pointed out:--but the Tobacco-PIPES that are shown as Friedrich +Wilhelm's in the KUNSTKAMMER or Museum of Berlin, pipes which no +rational smoker, not compelled to it, would have used, awaken just doubt +as to the cicerones; and you leave the Locality of the Tabagie a thing +conjectural. In summer season, at Potsdam and in country situations, +Tabagie could be held under a tent: we expressly know, his Majesty held +Tabagie at Wusterhausen nightly on the Steps of the big Fountain, in +the Outer Court there. Issuing from Wusterhausen Schloss, and its little +clipped lindens, by the western side; passing the sentries, bridge and +black ditch, with live Prussian eagles, vicious black bears, you come +upon the royal Tabagie of Wusterhausen; covered by an awning, I should +think; sending forth its bits of smoke-clouds, and its hum of human +talk, into the wide free Desert round. Any room that was large enough, +and had height of ceiling, and air-circulation and no cloth-furniture, +would do: and in each Palace is one, or more than one, that has been +fixed upon and fitted out for that object. + +A high large Room, as the Engravings (mostly worthless) give it us: +contented saturnine human figures, a dozen or so of them, sitting round +a large long Table, furnished for the occasion; long Dutch pipe in the +mouth of each man; supplies of knaster easily accessible; small pan of +burning peat, in the Dutch fashion (sandy native charcoal, which burns +slowly without smoke), is at your left hand; at your right a jug, +which I find to consist of excellent thin bitter beer. Other costlier +materials for drinking, if you want such, are not beyond reach. On +side-tables stand wholesome cold-meats, royal rounds of beef not +wanting, with bread thinly sliced and buttered: in a rustic but neat +and abundant way, such innocent accommodations, narcotic or nutritious, +gaseous, fluid and solid, as human nature, bent on contemplation and +an evening lounge, can require. Perfect equality is to be the rule; no +rising, or notice taken, when anybody enters or leaves. Let the entering +man take his place and pipe, without obligatory remarks: if he cannot +smoke, which is Seckendorf's case for instance, let him at least affect +to do so, and not ruffle the established stream of things. And so, Puff, +slowly Pff!--and any comfortable speech that is in you; or none, if you +authentically have not any. + +Old official gentlemen, military for most part; Grumkow, Derschau, +Old Dessauer (when at hand), Seckendorf, old General Flans (rugged +Platt-Deutsch specimen, capable of TOCADILLE or backgammon, capable of +rough slashes of sarcasm when he opens his old beard for speech): these, +and the like of these, intimate confidants of the King, men who could +speak a little, or who could be socially silent otherwise,--seem to have +been the staple of the Institution. Strangers of mark, who happened to +be passing, were occasional guests; Ginckel the Dutch Ambassador, though +foreign like Seckendorf, was well seen there; garrulous Pollnitz, who +has wandered over all the world, had a standing invitation. Kings, high +Princes on visit, were sure to have the honor. The Crown-Prince, now +and afterwards, was often present; oftener than he liked,--in such an +atmosphere, in such an element. "The little Princes were all wont +to come in," doffing their bits of triangular hats, "and bid Papa +good-night. One of the old Generals would sometimes put them through +their exercise; and the little creatures were unwilling to go away to +bed." + +In such Assemblage, when business of importance, foreign or domestic, +was not occupying the royal thoughts,--the Talk, we can believe, was +rambling and multifarious: the day's hunting, if at Wusterhausen; the +day's news, if at Berlin or Potsdam; old reminiscences, too, I can +fancy, turning up, and talk, even in Seckendorf's own time, about Siege +of Menin (where your Majesty first did me the honor of some notice), +Siege of Stralsund, and--duly on September 11th at least--Malplaquet, +with Marlborough and Eugene: what Marlborough said, looked: and +especially Lottum, late Feldmarschall Lottum; [Died 1719.] and how the +Prussian Infantry held firm, like a wall of rocks, when the horse were +swept away,--rocks highly volcanic, and capable of rolling forward too; +and "how a certain Adjutant [Derschau smokes harder, and blushes brown] +snatched poor Tettau on his back, bleeding to death, amid the iron +whirlwinds, and brought him out of shot-range." [_ Militair-Lexikon,_ +iv. 78,? Major-General von Tettau, and i. 348,? Derschau. This was the +beginning of Derschau's favor with Friedrich Wilhelm, who had witnesssed +this piece of faithful work.]--"Hm, na, such a Day, that, Herr +Feldzeugmeister, as we shall not see again till the Last of the Days!" + +Failing talk, there were Newspapers in abundance; scraggy Dutch +Courants, Journals of the Rhine, FAMAS, Frankfurt ZEITUNGS; with which +his Majesty exuberantly supplied himself;--being willing to know what +was passing in the high places of the world, or even what in the dark +snuffy Editor's thoughts was passing. This kind of matter, as some +picture of the actual hour, his Majesty liked to have read to him, even +during meal-time. Some subordinate character, with clear windpipe,--all +the better too, if he be a book-man, cognizant of History, Geography, +and can explain everything,--usually reads the Newspaper from some +high seat behind backs, while his Majesty and Household dine. The same +subordinate personage may be worth his place in the Tabagie, should +his function happen to prove necessary there. Even book-men, though +generally pedants and mere bags of wind and folly, are good for +something, more especially if rich mines of quizzability turn out to be +workable in them. + + + + +OF GUNDLING, AND THE LITERARY MEN IN TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + +Friedrich Wilhelm had, in succession or sometimes simultaneously, a +number of such Nondescripts, to read his Newspapers and season his +Tabagie;--last evanescent phasis of the old Court-Fool species;--who +form a noticeable feature of his environment. One very famous literary +gentleman of this description, who distanced every competitor, in the +Tabagie and elsewhere, for serving his Majesty's occasions, was Jakob +Paul Gundling; a name still laughingly remembered among the Prussian +People. Gundling was a Country-Clergyman's son, of the Nurnberg quarter; +had studied, carrying off the honors, in various Universities; had read, +or turned over, whole cartloads of wise and foolish Books (gravitating, +I fear, towards the latter kind); had gone the Grand Tour as travelling +tutor, "as companion to an English gentleman." He had seen courts, +perhaps camps, at lowest cities and inns; knew in a manner, practically +and theoretically, all things, and had published multifarious Books +of his own. [List of them, Twenty-one in number, mostly on learned +Antiquarian subjects,--in Forster, ii. 255, 256.] The sublime long-eared +erudition of the man was not to be contested; manifest to everybody; +thrice and four times manifest to himself, in the first place. + +In the course of his roamings, and grand and little tours, he had come +to Berlin in old King Friedrich's time; had thrown powder in the eyes of +men there, and been appointed to Professorships in the Ritter-Academy, +to Chief-Heraldships,--"Historiographer Royal," and perhaps other honors +and emoluments. The whole of which were cut down by the ruthless scythe +of Friedrich Wilhelm, ruthlessly mowing his field clear, in the manner +we saw at his Accession. Whereby learned grandiloquent Gundling, much +addicted to liquor by this time, and turning the corner of forty, saw +himself cast forth into the general wilderness; that is to say, walking +the streets of Berlin, with no resources but what lay within himself and +his own hungry skin. Much given to liquor too. How he lived, for a +year or two after this,--erudite pen and braggart tongue his only +resources,--were tragical to say. At length a famous Tavern-keeper, the +"LEIPZIGE POLTER-HANS (Leipzig Kill-Cow, or BOISTEROUS-JACK)," as they +call him, finding what a dungeon of erudite talk this Gundling was, +and how gentlemen got entertained by him, gave Gundling the run of his +Tavern (or, I fear, only a seat in the drinking-room); and it was here +that General Grumkow found him, talking big, and disserting DE OMNI +SCIBILI, to the ancient Berlin gentlemen over their cups. A very +Dictionary of a man; who knows, in a manner, all things; and is by no +means ignorant that he knows them: Would not this man suit his Majesty? +thought Grumkow; and brought him to Majesty, to read the Newspapers and +explain everything. Date is not given, or hinted at; but incidentally +we find Gundling in full blast "in the year 1718;" [Von Loen, _Kleine +Schriften_, i. 201 (cited in Forster, i. 260).] and conclude his +instalment was a year or two before. Gundling came to his Majesty from +the Tap-room of Boisterous-Jack; read the Newspapers, and explained +everything: such a Dictionary-in-breeches (much given to liquor) as +his Majesty had got, was never seen before. Working into the man, his +Majesty, who had a great taste for such things, discovered in him such +mines of college-learning, court-learning, without end; self-conceit, +and depth of appetite, not less considerable: in fine, such Chaotic +Blockheadism with the consciousness of being Wisdom, as was wondrous +to behold,--as filled his Majesty, especially, with laughter and joyful +amazement. Here are mines of native Darkness and Human Stupidity, +capable of being made to phosphoresce and effervesce,--are there not, +your Majesty? Omniscient Gundling was a prime resource in the Tabagie, +for many years to come. Man with sublimer stores of long-eared Learning +and Omniscience; man more destitute of Mother-wit, was nowhere to be +met with. A man, bankrupt of Mother-wit;--who has Squandered any poor +Mother-wit he had in the process of acquiring his sublime long-eared +Omniscience; and has retained only depth of appetite,--appetite for +liquor among other things, as the consummation and bottomless +cesspool of appetites:--is not this a discovery we have made, in +Boisterous-Jack's, your Majesty! + +The man was an Eldorado for the peculiar quizzing humor of his Majesty; +who took immense delight in working him, when occasion served. In the +first years, he had to attend his Majesty on all occasions of amusement; +if you invite his Majesty to dinner, Gundling too must be of the party. +Daily, otherwise, Gundling was at the Tabagie; getting drunk, if +nothing better. Vein after vein, rich in broad fun (very broad and +Brobdignagian, such as suits there), is discovered in him: without wit +himself, but much the cause of wit. None oftener shook the Tabagie with +inextinguishable Hahas: daily, by stirring into him, you could wrinkle +the Tabagie into grim radiance of banter and silent grins. + +He wore sublime clothes: Friedrich Wilhelm, whom we saw dress up +his regimental Scavenger-Executioners in French costume, for Count +Rothenburg's behoof, made haste to load Gundling with Rathships, +Kammerherrships, Titles such as fools covet;--gave him tolerable +pensions too, poor devil, and even functions, if they were of the +imaginary or big insignificant sort. Above all things, his Majesty +dressed him, as the pink of fortunate ambitious courtiers. Superfine +scarlet coat, gold buttonholes, black-velvet facings and embroideries +without end: "straw-colored breeches; red silk stockings," with probably +blue clocks to them, "and shoes with red heels:" on his learned head +sat an immense cloud-periwig of white goat's-hair (the man now growing +towards fifty); in the hat a red feather:--in this guise he walked the +streets, the gold Key of KAMMERHERR (Chamberlain) conspicuously hanging +at his coat-breast; and looked proudly down upon the world, when sober. +Alas, he was often not sober; and fiends in human shape were ready +enough to take advantage of his unguarded situation. No man suffered +ruder tarring-and-feathering;--and his only comfort was his bane withal, +that he had, under such conditions, the use of the royal cellars, and +could always command good liquor there. + +His illustrious scarlet coat, by tumblings in the ditch, soon got dirty +to a degree; and exposed him to the biting censures of his Majesty, +anxious for the respectability of his Hofraths. One day, two wicked +Captains, finding him prostrate in some lone place, cut off his +Kammerherr KEY; and privately gave it to his Majesty. Majesty, in +Tabagie, notices Gundling's coat-breast: "Where is your Key, then, Herr +Kammerherr?" "Hm, hah--unfortunately lost it, Ihro Majestat!"--"Lost it, +say you?" and his Majesty looks dreadfully grave.--"Key lost?" thinks +Tabagie, grave Seckendorf included: "JARNI-BLEU, that is something +serious!" "As if a Soldier were to drink his musket!" thinks his +Majesty: "And what are the laws, if an ignorant fellow is shot, and a +learned wise one escapes?" Here is matter for a deliberative Tabagie; +and to poor Gundling a bad outlook, fatal or short of fatal. He had +better not even drink much; but dispense with consolation, and keep his +wits about him, till this squall pass. After much deliberating, it is +found that the royal clemency can be extended; and an outlet devised, +under conditions. Next Tabagie, a servant enters with one of the biggest +trays in the world, and upon it a "Wooden Key gilt, about an ell long;" +this gigantic implement is solemnly hung round the repentant Kammerherr; +this he shall wear publicly as penance, and be upon his behavior, till +the royal mind can relent. Figure the poor blockhead till that happen! +"On recovering his metal key, he goes to a smith, and has it fixed on +with wire." + +What Gundling thought to himself, amid these pranks and hoaxings, we do +not know. The poor soul was not born a fool; though he had become one, +by college-learning, vanity, strong-drink, and the world's perversity +and his own. Under good guidance, especially if bred to strict silence, +he might have been in some measure a luminous object,--not as now a +phosphorescent one, shining by its mere rottenness! A sad "Calamity of +Authors" indeed, when it overtakes a man!--Poor Gundling probably +had lucid intervals now and then; tragic fits of discernment, in the +inner-man of him. He had a Brother, also a learned man, who retained his +senses; and was even a rather famed Professor at Halle; whose +Portrait, looking very academic, solemn and well-to-do, turns up in +old printshops; whose Books, concerning "Henry the Fowler (_De Henrico +Aucupe_)," "Kaiser Conrad I.," and other dim Historical objects, are +still consultable,--though with little profit, to my experience. The +name of this one was NICOLAUS HIERONYMUS; ours is JAKOB PAUL, the senior +brother,--once the hope of the House, it is likely, and a fond Father's +pride,--in that poor old Nurnberg Parsonage long ago! + +Jakob Paul likewise continued to write Books, on Brandenburg Heraldries, +Topography, Genealogies: even a "LIFE" or two of some old Brandenburg +Electors are still extant from his hand; but not looked at now by any +mortal. He had been, perhaps was again, Historiographer Royal; and felt +bound to write such Books: several of them he printed; and we hear of +others still manuscript, "in five folio volumes written fair." He held +innumerable half-mock Titles and Offices; among others, was actual +President of the Berlin Royal Society, or ACADEMIE DES SCIENCES, +Leibnitz's pet daughter,--there Gundling actually sat in Office; and +drew the salary, for one certainty. "As good he as another," thought +Friedrich Wilhelm: "What is the use of these solemn fellows, in their +big perukes, with their crabbed X+Y's, and scientiflc Pedler's-French; +doing nothing that I can see, except annually the _Berlin Almanac,_ +which they live upon? Let them live upon it, and be thankful; with +Gundling for their head man." + +Academy of Sciences makes its ALMANAC, and some peculium of profit by +it; lectures perhaps a little "on Anatomy" (good for something, that, +in his Majesty's mind); but languishes--without encouragement during +the present reign. Has his Majesty no prize questions to propose, then? +None, or worse. He once officially put these learned Associates upon +ascertaining for him "Why Champagne foamed?" They, with a hidden vein +of pleasantry, required "material to experiment upon." Friedrich Wilhelm +sent them a dozen, or certain dozens; and the matter proved insoluble +to this day. No King, scarcely any man, had less of reverence for +the Sciences so called; for Academic culture, and the art of the +Talking-Schoolmaster in general! A King obtuse to the fine Arts, +especially to the vocal Arts, in a high degree. Literary fame itself he +regards as mountebank fame; the art of writing big admirable folios +is little better to him than that of vomiting long coils of wonderful +ribbon, for the idlers of the market-place; and he bear-baits his +Gundling, in this manner, as phosphorescent blockhead of the first +magnitude, worthy of nothing better. + +Nay, it is but lately (1723 the exact year) that he did his +ever-memorable feat in regard to Wolf and his Philosophy, at Halle. +Illustrious Wolf was recognized, at that time, as the second greater +Leibnitz, and Head-Philosopher of Nature, who "by mathematical method" +had as it were taken Nature in the fact, and illuminated everything, so +that whosoever ran might read,--which all manner of people then tried +to do, but, have now quite ceased trying "by the Wolf-method:"--Immortal +Wolf, somewhat of a stiff, reserved humor, inwardly a little proud, and +not wanting in private contempt of the contemptible, had been accused of +heterodoxy by the Halle Theologians. Immortal Wolf, croakily satirical +withal, had of course defended himself; and of course got into a +shoreless sea of controversy with the Halle Theologians; pestering his +Majesty with mere wars, and rumors of war, for a length of time, from +that Halle University. [In Busching (_Beitrage,_ i. l-140) is rough +authentic account of Wolf, and especially of all that,--with several +curious LETTERS of Wolf's.] So that Majesty, unable to distinguish top +or bottom in such a coil of argument; or to do justice in the case, +however willing and anxious, often passionately asked: "What, in +God's name, is the real truth of it?" Majesty appointed Commissions to +inquire; read Reports; could for a long while make out nothing certain. +At last came a decision on the sudden;--royal mind suddenly illuminated, +it is a little uncertain how. Some give the credit of it to Gundling, +which is unlikely; others to "Two Generals" of pious orthodox turn, +acquainted with Halle;--and I have heard obscurely that it was the Old +Dessauer, who also knew Halle; and was no doubt wearied to hear nothing +talked of there but injured Philosopher Wolf, and injuring Theologian +Lange, or VICE VERSA. Some practical military man, not given to take up +with shadows, it likeliest was. "In God's name, what is the real truth +of all that?" inquired his Majesty, of the practical man: "DOES Wolf +teach hellish doctrines; as Lange says, or heavenly, as himself says?" +"Teaches babble mainly, I should think, and scientific Pedler's French," +intimated the practical man: "But they say he has one doctrine about +oaths, and what he calls foundation of duty, which I did not like. Not +a heavenly doctrine that. Follow out that, any of your Majesty's +grenadiers might desert, and say he had done no sin against God!" +[Busching, i. 8; Benekendorf, _Karakterzilge aus dem Leben Konig +Friedrich Wilhelm I._ (Anonymous, Berlin, 1787), ii. 23.] Friedrich +Wilhelm flew into a paroxysm of horror; instantly redacted brief Royal +Decree [15th November (Busching says 8th), 1723.] (which is still extant +among the curiosities of the Universe), ordering Wolf to quit Halle +and the Prussian Dominions, bag and baggage, forevermore, within +eight-and-forty hours, "BEY STRAFE DES STRANGES, under pain of the +halter!" + +Halter: the Head-Philosopher of Nature, found too late, will be hanged, +as if he were a sheep-stealer; hanged, and no mistake! Poor Wolf +gathered himself together, wife and baggage; girded up his loins; +and ran with the due despatch. He is now found sheltered under +Hessen-Darmstadt, at Marburg, professing something there; and all the +intellect of the world is struck with astonishment, and with silent or +vocal pity for the poor man.--It is but fair to say, Friedrich Wilhelm, +gradually taking notice of the world's humor in regard to this, began to +have his own misgivings; and determined to read some of Wolf's Books for +himself. Reading in Wolf, he had sense to discern that here was a man of +undeniable talent and integrity; that the Practical Military judgment, +loading with the iron ramrod, had shot wide of the mark, in this matter; +and, in short, that a palpable bit of foul-play had been done. This was +in 1733;--ten years after the shot, when his Majesty saw, with his own +eyes, how wide it had gone. He applied to Wolf earnestly, more than +once, to come back to him: Halle, Frankfurt, any Prussian University +with a vacancy in it, was now wide open to Wolf. But Wolf knew better: +Wolf, with bows down to the ground, answered always evadingly;--and +never would come back till the New Reign began. + +Friedrich Wilhelm knew little of Book-learning or Book-writing; and +his notion of it is very shocking to us. But the fact is, O reader, +Book-writing is of two kinds: one wise, and may be among the wisest +of earthly things; the other foolish, sometimes far beyond what can be +reached by human nature elsewhere. Blockheadism, Unwisdom, while +silent, is reckoned bad; but Blockheadism getting vocal, able to speak +persuasively,--have you considered that at all? Human Opacity falling +into Phosphorescence; that is to say, becoming luminous (to itself and +to many mortals) by the very excess of it, by the very bursting of +it into putrid fermentation;--all other forms of Chaos are cosmic in +comparison!--Our poor Friedrich Wilhelm had seen only Gundlings among +the Book-writing class: had he seen wiser specimens, he might have +formed, as he did in Wolf's case, another judgment. Nay in regard to +Gundling himself, it is observable how, with his unutterable contempt, +he seems to notice in him glimpses of the admirable (such acquirements, +such dictionary-faculties, though gone distracted!),--and almost has a +kind of love for the absurd dog. Gundling's pensions amount to something +like 150 pounds; an immense sum in this Court. [Forster, i. 263, 284 +(if you can RECONCILE the two passages).] A blockhead admirable in some +sorts; and of immense resource in Tobacco-Parliament when business is +slack!-- + +No end to the wild pranks, the Houyhnhnm horse-play they had with +drunken Gundling. He has staggered out in a drunk state, and found, or +not clearly FOUND till the morrow, young bears lying in his bed;--has +found his room-door walled up; been obliged to grope about, staggering +from door to door and from port to port, and land ultimately in the +big Bears' den, who hugged and squeezed him inhumanly there. Once at +Wusterhausen, staggering blind-drunk out of the Schloss towards his +lair, the sentries at the Bridge (instigated to it by the Houyhnhnms, +who look on) pretend to fasten some military blame on him: Why has +he omitted or committed so-and-so? Gundling's drunk answer is +unsatisfactory. "Arrest, Herr Kammerrath, is it to be that, then!" They +hustle him about, among the Bears which lodge there;--at length they +lay him horizontally across two ropes;--take to swinging him hither and +thither, up and down, across the black Acherontic Ditch, which is frozen +over, it being the dead of winter: one of the ropes, LOWER rope, breaks; +Gundling comes souse upon the ice with his sitting-part; breaks a big +hole in the ice, and scarcely with legs, arms and the remaining rope, +can be got out undrowned. [Forster (i. 254-280); founding, I suppose, +on _Leben und Thaten des Freiherrn Paul von Gundling_ (Berlin, 1795); +probably not one of the exactest Biographies.] + +If, with natural indignation, he shut his door, and refuse to come to +the Tabagie, they knock in a panel of his door; and force him out with +crackers, fire-works, rockets and malodorous projectiles. Once the poor +blockhead, becoming human for a moment, went clean away; to Halle where +his Brother was, or to some safer place: but the due inveiglements, +sublime apologies, increase of titles, salaries, were used; and the +indispensable Phosphorescent Blockhead, and President of the Academy of +Pedler's-French, was got back. Drink remained always as his consolation; +drink, and the deathless Volumes he was writing and printing. Sublime +returns came to him;--Kaiser's Portrait set in diamonds, on one +occasion,--for his Presentation-Copies in high quarters: immortal fame, +is it not his clear portion; still more clearly abundance of good wine. +Friedrich Wilhelm did not let him want for Titles;--raised him at last +to the Peerage; drawing out the Diploma and Armorial Blazonry, in a +truly Friedrich-Wilhelm manner, with his own hand. The Gundlings, +in virtue of the transcendent intellect and merits of this Founder +Gundling, are, and are hereby declared to be, of Baronial dignity to the +last scion of them; and in "all RITTER-RENNEN (Tournaments), Battles, +Fights, Camp-pitchings, Sealings, Sightings, shall and may use the +above-said Shield of Arms,"--if it can be of any advantage to them. A +Prussian Majesty who gives us 150 pounds yearly, with board and lodging +and the run of his cellar, and honors such as these, is not to be +lightly sneezed away, though of queer humors now and then. The +highest Personages, as we said, more than once made gifts to Gundling; +miniatures set in diamonds; purses of a hundred ducats: even Gundling, +it was thought, might throw in a word, mad or otherwise, which would +bear fruit. It was said of him, he never spoke to harm anybody with his +Majesty. The poor blown-up blockhead was radically not ill-natured,--at +least, if you let his "phosphorescences" alone. + +But the grandest explosions, in Tobacco-Parliament, were producible, +when you got Two literary fools; and, as if with Leyden-jars, positive +and negative, brought their vanities to bear on one another. This +sometimes happened, when Tobacco-Parliament was in luck. Friedrich +Wilhelm had a variety of Merry-Andrew Raths of the Gundling sort, +though none ever came up to Gundling, or approached him, in worth as a +Merry-Andrew. + +Herr Fassmann, who wrote Books, by Patronage or for the Leipzig +Booksellers, and wandered about the world as a star or comet of some +magnitude, is not much known to my readers:--but he is too well known +to me, for certain dark Books of his which I have had to read. [_Life of +Friedrich Wilhelm,_ occasionally cited here; _Life of August the Strong; +_ &c.] A very dim Literary Figure; undeniable, indecipherable Human +Fact, of those days; now fallen quite extinct and obsolete; his +garniture, equipment, environment all very dark to us. Probably a too +restless, imponderous creature, too much of the Gundling type; structure +of him GASEOUS, not solid; Perhaps a little of the coxcomb naturally; +much of the sycophant on compulsion,--being sorely jammed into corners, +and without elbow-room at all, in this world. Has, for the rest, a +recognizable talent for "Magazine writing,"--for Newspaper editing, had +that rich mine, "California of the Spiritually Vagabond," been opened in +those days. Poor extinct Fassmann, one discovers at last a vein of weak +geniality in him; here and there, real human sense and eyesight, under +those strange conditions; and his poor Books, rotted now to inanity, +have left a small seed-pearl or two, to the earnest reader. Alas, if +he WAS to become "spiritually vagabond" ("spiritually" and otherwise), +might it not perhaps be wholesome to him that the California was NOT +discovered?-- + +Fassmann was by no means such a fool as Gundling; but, he was much of a +fool too. He had come to Berlin, about this time, [1726, as he himself +says (supra p. 8).] in hopes of patronage from the King or somebody; +might say to himself, "Surely I am a better man than Gundling, if +the Berlin Court has eyesight." By the King, on some wise General's +recommending it, he was, as a preliminary, introduced to the Tabagie +at least. Here is the celebrated Gundling; there is the celebrated +Fassmann. Positive Leyden-jar, with negative close by: in each of these +two men lodges a full-charged fiery electric virtue of self-conceit; +destructive each of the other;--could a conductor be discovered. +Conductors are discoverable, conductors are not wanting; and many +are the explosions between these mutually-destructive human +varieties;--welcomed with hilarious, rather vacant, huge horse-laughter, +in this Tobacco-Parliament and Synod of the Houyhnhnms. + +Of which take this acme; and then end. Fassmann, a fellow not without +sarcasm and sharpness, as you may still see, has one evening provoked +Gundling to the transcendent pitch,--till words are weak, and only +action will answer. Gundling, driven to the exploding point, suddenly +seizes his Dutch smoking-pan, of peat-charcoal ashes and red-hot sand; +and dashes it in the face of Fassmann; who is of course dreadfully +astonished thereby, and has got his very eyebrows burnt, not to speak of +other injuries. Stand to him, Fassmann! Fassmann stands to him tightly, +being the better man as well as the more satirical; grasps Gundling +by the collar, wrenches him about, lays him at last over his knee, +sitting-part uppermost; slaps said sitting-part (poor sitting-part that +had broken the ice of Wusterhausen) with the hot pan,--nay some say, +strips it and slaps. Amid the inextinguishable horse-laughter (sincere +but vacant) of the Houyhnhnm Olympus. + +After which, his Majesty, as epilogue to such play, suggests, That feats +of that nature are unseemly among gentlemen; that when gentlemen have +a quarrel, there is another way of settling it. Fassmann thereupon +challenges Gundling; Gundling accepts; time and place are settled, +pistols the weapon. At the appointed time and place Gundling stands, +accordingly, pistol in hand; but at sight of Fassmann, throws his pistol +away; will not shoot any man, nor have any man shoot him. Fassmann +sternly advances; shoots his pistol (powder merely) into Gundling's +sublime goat's-hair wig: wig blazes into flame; Gundling falls +shrieking, a dead man, to the earth; and they quench and revive him +with a bucket of water. Was there ever seen such horse-play? Roaring +laughter, huge, rude, and somewhat vacant, as that of the Norse gods +over their ale at Yule time;--as if the face of the Sphinx were to +wrinkle itself in laughter; or the fabulous Houyhnhnms themselves were +there to mock in their peculiar fashion. + +His Majesty at length gave Gundling a wine-cask, duly figured; +"painted black with a white cross," which was to stand in his room as +MEMENTO-MORI, and be his coffin. It stood for ten years; Gundling often +sitting to write in it; a good screen against draughts. And the poor +monster was actually buried in this cask; [Died 11th April, 1731, age +58: description of the Burial "at Bornstadt near Potsdam," in Forster, +i. 276.] Fassmann pronouncing some funeral oration,--and the orthodox +clergy uttering, from the distance, only a mute groan. "The Herr Baron +von Gundling was a man of many dignities, of much Book-learning; a man +of great memory," admits Fassmann, "but of no judgment," insinuates +he,--"LOOKING FOR the Judgment (EXPECTANS JUDICIUM)," says Fassmann, with +a pleasant wit. Fassmann succeeded to all the emoluments and honors; but +did not hold them; preferred to run away before long: and after him +came one and the other, whom the reader is not to be troubled with here. +Enough if the patient reader have seen, a little, into that background +of Friedrich Wilhelm's existence; and, for the didactic part, have +caught up his real views or instincts upon Spiritual Phosphorescence, or +Stupidity grown Vocal, which are much sounder than most of us suspect. + +These were the sports of the Tobacco-Parliament; and it was always meant +primarily for sport, for recreation: but there is no doubt it had a +serious function as well. "Business matters," adds Beneckendorf, who had +means of knowing, [Benekendorf, _Karakterzuge,_ i. 137-149; vi. 37.] +"were often a subject of colloquy in the TABAKS-COLLEGIUM. Not that they +were there finished off, decided upon, or meant to be so. But Friedrich +Wilhelm often purposely brought up such things in conversation there, +that he might learn the different opinions of his generals and chief +men, without their observing it,"--and so might profit by the Collective +Wisdom, in short. + + + + +Chapter VIII. -- SECKENDORF'S RETORT TO HER MAJESTY. + +The Treaty of Wusterhausen was not yet known to Queen Sophie, to her +Father George, or to any external creature: but that open flinching, and +gradual withdrawal, from the Treaty of Hanover was too well known; and +boded no good to her pet project. Female sighs, male obduracies, and +other domestic phenomena, are to be imagined in consequence. "A grand +Britannic Majesty indeed; very lofty Father to us, Madam, ever since he +came to be King of England: Stalking along there, with his nose in the +air; not deigning the least notice of us, except as of a thing that +may be got to fight for him! And he does not sign the Double-Marriage +Treaty, Madam; only talks of signing it,--as if we were a starved +coach-horse, to be quickened along by a wisp of hay put upon the +coach-pole close ahead of us always!"--"JARNI-BLEU!" snuffles Seckendorf +with a virtuous zeal, or looks it; and things are not pleasant at the +royal dinner-table. + +Excellenz Seckendorf, we find at this time, "often has his Majesty +to dinner:" and such dinners; fitting one's tastes in all points,--no +expense regarded (which indeed is the Kaiser's, if we knew it)! And in +return, Excellenz is frequently at dinner with his Majesty; where the +conversation; if it turn on England, which often happens, is more +and more an offence to Queen Sophie. Seckendorf studies to be polite, +reserved before the Queen's Majesty at her own table; yet sometimes he +lisps out, in his vile snuffling tone, half-insinuations, remarks on our +Royal Kindred, which are irritating in the extreme. Queen Sophie, the +politest of women, did once, says Pollnitz, on some excessive pressure +of that lisping snuffling unendurability, lose her royal patience +and flame out. With human frankness, and uncommonly kindled eyes, +she signified to Seckendorf, That none who was not himself a kind of +scoundrel could entertain such thoughts of Kings and gentlemen! Which +hard saying kindled the stiff-backed rheumatic soul of Seckendorf +(Excellenz had withal a temper in him, far down in the deeps); who +answered: "Your Majesty, that is what no one else thinks of me. That +is a name I have never permitted any one to give me with impunity." And +verily, he kept his threat in that latter point, says Pollnitz. [ii. +244.] + +At this stage, it is becoming, in the nature of things, unlikely that +the projected Double-Marriage, or any union with England, can ever +realize itself for Queen Sophie and her House. The Kaiser has decreed +that it never shall. Here is the King already irritated, grown +indisposed to it; here is the Kaiser's Seckendorf, with preternatural +Apparatus, come to maintain him in that humor. To Queen Sophie herself, +who saw only the outside of Seckendorf and his Apparatus, the matter +doubtless seemed big with difficulties; but to us, who see the interior, +the difficulties are plainly hopeless. Unless the Kaiser's mind change, +unless many fixed things change, the Double-Marriage is impossible. + +One thing only is a sorrow; and this proved an immeasurable one: That +they did not, that Queen Sophie did not, in such case, frankly give +it up: Double-Marriage is not a law of Nature; it is only a project +at Hanover that has gone off again. There will be a life for our +Crown-Prince, and Princess, without a marriage with England!-It is +greatly wise to recognize the impossible, the unreasonably difficult, +when it presents itself: but who of men is there, much more who of women +that can always do it? + +Queen Sophie Dorothee will have this Double-Marriage, and it shall be +possible. Pour Lady, she was very obstinate; and her Husband was very +arbitrary. A rough bear of a Husband, yet by no means an unloving one; a +Husband who might have been managed. She evidently made a great mistake +in deciding not to obey this man; as she had once vowed. By perfect +prompt obedience she might have had a very tolerable life with the +rugged Orson fallen to her lot; who was a very honest-hearted creature. +She might have done a pretty stroke of female work, withal, in taming +her Orson; might have led him by the muzzle far enough in a private +way,--by obedience. + +But by disobedience, by rebellion open or secret? Friedrich Wilhelm was +a Husband; Friedrich Wilhelm was a King; and the most imperative man +then breathing. Disobedience to Friedrich Wilhelm was a thing which, in +the Prussian State, still more in the Berlin Schloss and vital heart of +said State, the laws of Heaven and of Earth had not permitted, for any +man's or any woman's sake, to be. The wide overarching sky looks down on +no more inflexible Sovereign Man than him in the red-collared blue coat +and white leggings, with the bamboo in his hand. A peaceable, capacious, +not ill-given Sovereign Man, if you will let him have his way. But +to bar his way; to tweak the nose of his sovereign royalty, and +ignominiously force him into another way: that is an enterprise no +man or devil, or body of men or devils, need attempt. Seckendorf and +Grumkow, in Tobacco-Parliament, understand it better. That attempt is +impossible, once for all. The first step in such attempt will require to +be assassination of Friedrich Wilhelm; for you may depend on it, royal +Sophie, so long as he is alive, the feat cannot be done. O royal Sophie, +O pretty Feekin, what a business you are making of it! + +The year 1726 was throughout a troublous one to Queen Sophie. +Seckendorf's advent; King George's manifestoing; alarm of imminent +universal War, nay sputters of it actually beginning (Gibraltar invested +by the Spaniards, ready for besieging, it is said): nor was this all. +Sophie's poor Mother, worn to a tragic Megaera, locked so long in the +Castle of Ahlden, has taken up wild plans of outbreak, of escape by +means of secretaries, moneys in the Bank of Amsterdam, and I know not +what; with all which Sophie, corresponding in double and triple mystery, +has her own terrors and sorrows, trying to keep it down. And now, in the +depth of the year, the poor old Mother suddenly dies. [13th November, +1726: _Memoirs of Sophia Dorothea, Consort of George I._ (i. +386),--where also some of her concluding Letters ("edited" as if by the +Nightmares) can be read, but next to no sense made of them.] Burnt out +in this manner, she collapses into ashes and long rest; closing so her +nameless tragedy of thirty years' continuance:--what a Bluebeard-chamber +in the mind of Sophie! Nay there rise quarrels about the Heritage of the +Deceased, which will prove another sorrow. + + + +END OF BOOK V + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of History Of Friedrich II. of Prussia, +Volume V. (of XXI.), by Thomas Carlyle + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HISTORY OF FRIEDRICH II. *** + +***** This file should be named 2105.txt or 2105.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/0/2105/ + +Produced by D.R. 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Thompson <drthom@ihug.co.nz> + + + + + +Carlyle's "History of Friedrich II of Prussia" + + + + +BOOK V. + +DOUBLE-MARRIAGE PROJECT, AND WHAT ELEMENT IT FELL INTO. +1723-1726. + +Chapter I. + +DOUBLE-MARRIAGE IS DECIDED ON. + + +We saw George I. at Berlin in October, 1723, looking out upon his +little Grandson drilling the Cadets there; but we did not mention +what important errand had brought his Majesty thither. + +Visits between Hanover and Berlin had been frequent for a long +time back; the young Queen of Prussia, sometimes with her husband, +sometimes without, running often over to see her Father; who, even +after his accession to the English crown, was generally for some +months every year to be met with in those favorite regions of his. +He himself did not much visit, being of taciturn splenetic nature: +but this once he had agreed to return a visit they had lately made +him,--where a certain weighty Business had been agreed upon, +withal; which his Britannic Majesty was to consummate formally, by +treaty, when the meeting in Berlin took effect. His Britannic +Majesty, accordingly, is come; the business in hand is no other +than that thrice-famous "Double-Marriage" of Prussia with England; +which once had such a sound in the ear of Rumor, and still bulks +so big in the archives of the Eighteenth Century; which worked +such woe to all parties concerned in it; and is, in fact, a +first-rate nuisance in the History of that poor Century, as +written hitherto. Nuisance demanding urgently to be abated;-- +were that well possible at present. Which, alas, it is not, to any +great degree; there being an important young Friedrich +inextricably wrapt up in it, to whom it was of such vital or +almost fatal importance! Without a Friedrich, the affair could be +reduced to something like its real size, and recorded in a few +pages; or might even, with advantage, be forgotten altogether, and +become zero. More gigantic instance of much ado about nothing has +seldom occurred in human annals;--had not there been a Friedrich +in the heart of it. + +Crown-Prince Friedrich is still very young for +marriage-speculations on his score: but Mamma has thought good to +take matters in time. And so we shall, in the next ensuing parts +of this poor History, have to hear almost as much about Marriage +as in the foolishest Three-volume Novel, and almost to still less +purpose. For indeed, in that particular, Friedrich's young Life +may be called a ROMANCE FLUNG HELLS-OVER-HEAD;--Marriage being the +one event there, round which all events turn,--but turn in the +inverse or reverse way (as if the Devil were in them); not only +towards no happy goal for him or Mamma, or us, but at last towards +hardly any goal at all for anybody! So mad did the affair grow;-- +and is so madly recorded in those inextricable, dateless, chaotic +Books. We have now come to regions of Narrative, which seem to +consist of murky Nothingness put on boil; not land, or water, or +air, or fire, but a tumultuously whirling commixture of all the +four;--of immense extent too. Which must be got crossed, in some +human manner. Courage, patience, good reader! + + +QUEEN SOPHIE DOROTHEE HAS TAKEN TIME BY THE FORELOCK. + +Already, for a dozen years, this matter has been treated of. +Queen Sophie Dorothee, ever since the birth of her Wilhelmina, has +had the notion of it; and, on her first visit afterwards to +Hanover, proposed it to "Princess Caroline,"--Queen Caroline of +England who was to be, and who in due course was;--an excellent +accomplished Brandenburg-Anspach Lady, familiar from of old in the +Prussian Court: "You, Caroline, Cousin dear, have a little Prince, +Fritz, or let us call him FRED, since he is to be English; little +Fred, who will one day, if all go right, be King of England. He is +two years older than my little Wilhelmina: why should not they +wed, and the two chief Protestant Houses, and Nations, thereby be +united?" Princess Caroline was very willing; so was Electress +Sophie, the Great-Grandmother of both the parties; so were the +Georges, Father and Grandfather of Fred: little Fred himself was +highly charmed, when told of it; even little Wilhelmina, with her +dolls, looked pleasantly demure on the occasion. So it remained +settled in fact, though not in form; and little Fred (a florid +milk-faced foolish kind of Boy, I guess) made presents to his +little Prussian Cousin, wrote bits of love-letters to her; and all +along afterwards fancied himself, and at length ardently enough +became, her little lover and intended,--always rather a little +fellow:--to which sentiments Wilhelmina signifies that she +responded with the due maidenly indifference, but not in an +offensive manner. + +After our Prussian Fritz's birth, the matter took a still closer +form: "You, dear Princess Caroline, you have now two little +Princesses again, either of whom might suit my little Fritzchen; +let us take Amelia, the second of them, who is nearest his age?" +"Agreed!" answered Princess Caroline again. "Agreed!" answered all +the parties interested: and so it was settled, that the Marriage +of Prussia to England should be a Double one, Fred of Hanover and +England to Wilhelmina, Fritz of Prussia to Amelia; and children +and parents lived thenceforth in the constant understanding that +such, in due course of years, was to be the case, though nothing +yet was formally concluded by treaty upon it. [Pollnitz, <italic> +Memoiren, <end italic> ii. 193.] + +Queen Sophie Dorothee of Prussia was always eager enough for +treaty, and conclusion to her scheme. True to it, she, as needle +to the pole in all weathers; sometimes in the wildest weather, +poor lady. Nor did the Hanover Serene Highnesses, at any time, +draw back or falter: but having very soon got wafted across to +England, into new more complex conditions, and wider anxieties in +that new country, they were not so impressively eager as Queen +Sophie, on this interesting point. Electress Sophie, judicious +Great-Grandmother, was not now there: Electress Sophie had died +about a month before Queen Anne; and never saw the English Canaan, +much as she had longed for it. George I., her son, a taciturn, +rather splenetic elderly Gentleman, very foreign in England, and +oftenest rather sulky there and elsewhere, was not in a humor to +be forward in that particular business. + +George I. had got into quarrel with his Prince of Wales, Fred's +Father,--him who is one day to be George II., always a rather +foolish little Prince, though his Wife Caroline was Wisdom's self +in a manner:--George I. had other much more urgent cares than that +of marrying his disobedient foolish little Prince of Wales's +offspring; and he always pleaded difficulties, Acts of Parliament +that would be needed, and the like, whenever Sophie Dorothee came +to visit him at Hanover, and urge this matter. The taciturn, +inarticulately thoughtful, rather sulky old Gentleman, he had +weighty burdens lying on him; felt fretted and galled, in many +ways; and had found life, Electoral and even Royal, a deceptive +sumptuosity, little better than a more or less extensive "feast of +SHELLS," next to no real meat or drink left in it to the hungry +heart of man. Wife sitting half-frantic in the Castle of Ahlden, +waxing more and more into a gray-haired Megaera (with whom Sophie +Dorothee under seven seals of secrecy corresponds a little, and +even the Prince of Wales is suspected of wishing to correspond); +a foolish disobedient Prince of Wales; Jacobite Pretender people +with their Mar Rebellions, with their Alberoni combinations; +an English Parliament jangling and debating unmelodiously, whose +very language is a mystery to us, nothing but Walpole in dog-latin +to help us through it: truly it is not a Heaven-on-Earth +altogether, much as Mother Sophie and her foolish favorite, our +disobedient Prince of Wales, might long for it! And the Hanover +Tail, the Robethons, Bernstorfs, Fabrices, even the Blackamoor +Porters,--they are not beautiful either, to a taciturn Majesty of +some sense, if he cared about their doings or them. Voracious, +plunderous, all of them; like hounds, long hungry, got into a rich +house which has no master, or a mere imaginary one. "MENTERIS +IMPUDENTISSIME," said Walpole in his dog-latin once, in our Royal +presence, to one of these official plunderous gentlemen, "You tell +an impudent lie!"--at which we only laughed. [Horace Walpole, +<italic> Reminiscences of George I. and George II. <end italic> +(London, 1786.)] + +His Britannic Majesty by no means wanted sense, had not his +situation been incurably absurd. In his young time he had served +creditably enough against the Turks; twice commanded the +REICHS-Army in the Marlborough Wars, and did at least testify his +indignation at the inefficient state of it. His Foreign Politics, +so called, were not madder than those of others. Bremen and Verden +he had bought a bargain; and it was natural to protect them by +such resources as he had, English or other. Then there was the +World-Spectre of the Pretender, stretching huge over Creation, +like the Brocken-Spectre in hazy weather;--against whom how +protect yourself, except by cannonading for the Kaiser at Messina; +by rushing into every brabble that rose, and hiring the parties +with money to fight it out well? It was the established method in +that matter; method not of George's inventing, nor did it cease +with George. As to Domestic Politics, except it were to keep +quiet, and eat what the gods had provided, one does not find that +he had any.--The sage Leibnitz would very fain have followed him +to England; but, for reasons indifferently good, could never be +allowed. If the truth must be told, the sage Leibnitz had a wisdom +which now looks dreadfully like that of a wiseacre! In Mathematics +even,--he did invent the Differential Calculus, but it is certain +also he never could believe in Newton's System of the Universe, +nor would read the PRINCIPIA at all. For the rest, he was in +quarrel about Newton with the Royal Society here; ill seen, it is +probable, by this sage and the other. To the Hanover Official +Gentlemen devouring their English dead-horse, it did not appear +that his presence could be useful in these parts. [Guhrauer, +<italic> Gottfried Freiherr von Leibnitz, eine Biographie <end +italic> (Breslau, 1842); Ker of Kersland, <italic> Memoirs of +Secret Transactions <end italic> (London, 1727). + +Nor are the Hanover womankind his Majesty has about him, +quasi-wives or not, of a soul-entrancing character; far indeed +from that. Two in chief there are, a fat and a lean: the lean, +called "Maypole" by the English populace, is "Duchess of Kendal," +with excellent pension, in the English Peeragy; Schulenburg the +former German name of her; decidedly a quasi-wife (influential, +against her will, in that sad Konigsmark Tragedy, at Hanover long +since), who is fallen thin and old. "Maypole,"--or bare Hop-pole, +with the leaves all stript; lean, long, hard;--though she once had +her summer verdures too; and still, as an old quasi-wife, or were +it only as an old article of furniture, has her worth to the royal +mind, Schulenburgs, kindred of hers, are high in the military +line; some of whom we may meet. + +Then besides this lean one, there is a fat; of whom Walpole +(Horace, who had seen her in boyhood) gives description. +Big staring black eyes, with rim of circular eyebrow, like a +coach-wheel round its nave, very black the eyebrows also; vast red +face; cheeks running into neck, neck blending indistinguishably +with stomach,--a mere cataract of fluid tallow, skinned over and +curiously dizened, according to Walpole's portraiture. +This charming creature, Kielmannsegge by German name, was called +"Countess of Darlington" in this country--with excellent pension, +as was natural. They all had pensions: even Queen Sophie Dorothee, +I have noticed in our State-Paper Office, has her small pension, +"800 pounds a year on the Irish Establishment:" Irish +Establishment will never miss such a pittance for our poor Child, +and it may be useful over yonder!--This Kielmannsegge, Countess of +Darlington was, and is, believed by the gossiping English to have +been a second simultaneous Mistress of his Majesty's; but seems, +after all, to have been his Half-Sister and nothing more. +Half-Sister (due to Gentleman Ernst and a Countess Platen of bad +Hanover fame); grown dreadfully fat; but not without shrewdness, +perhaps affection; and worth something in this dull foreign +country, mere cataract of animal oils as she has become. These Two +are the amount of his Britannic Majesty's resources in that +matter; resources surely not extensive, after all!-- + +His Britannic Majesty's day, in St. James's, is not of an +interesting sort to him; and every evening he comes precisely at a +certain hour to drink beer, seasoned with a little tobacco, and +the company of these two women. Drinks diligently in a sipping +way, says Horace; and smokes, with such dull speech as there may +be,--not till he is drunk, but only perceptibly drunkish; raised +into a kind of cloudy narcotic Olympus, and opaquely superior to +the ills of life; in which state he walks uncomplainingly to bed. +Government, when it can by any art be avoided, he rarely meddles +with; shows a rugged sagacity, where he does and must meddle: +consigns it to Walpole in dog-latin,--laughs at his "MENTIRIS." +This is the First George; first triumph of the Constitutional +Principle, which has since gone to such sublime heights among us, +--heights which we at last begin to suspect might be depths, +leading down, all men now ask: Whitherwards? A much-admired +invention in its time, that of letting go the rudder, or setting a +wooden figure expensively dressed to take charge of it, and +discerning that the ship would sail of itself so much more easily! +Which it will, if a peculiarly good seaboat, in certain kinds of +sea,--for a time. Till the Sinbad "Magnetic Mountains" begin to be +felt pulling, or the circles of Charybdis get you in their sweep; +and then what an invention it was!--This, we say, is the new +Sovereign Man, whom the English People, being in some perplexity +about the Pope aud other points, have called in from Hanover, to +walk before them in the ways of heroism, and by command and by +example guide Heavenwards their affairs and them. And they hope +that he will do it? Or perhaps that their affairs will go thither +of their own accord? Always a singular People!-- + +Poor George, careless of these ulterior issues, has always trouble +enough with the mere daily details, Parliamentary insolences, +Jacobite plottings, South-Sea Bubbles; and wishes to hunt, when he +gets over to Hanover, rather than to make Marriage-Treaties. +Besides, as Wilhelmina tells us, they have filled him with lies, +these Hanover Women and their emissaries: "Your Princess +Wilhelmina is a monster of ill-temper, crooked in the back and +what not," say they. If there is to be a Marriage, double or +single, these Improper Females must first be persuaded to consent. +[<italic> Memoires de Bareith. <end italic>] Difficulties enough. +And there is none to help; Friedrich Wilhelm cares little about +the matter, though he has given his Yes,--Yes, since you will. + +But Sophie Dorothee is diligent and urgent, by all opportunities; +--and, at length, in 1723, the conjuncture is propitious. +Domestic Jacobitism, in the shape of Bishop Atterbury, has got, +itself well banished; Alberoni and his big schemes, years ago they +are blown into outer darkness; Charles XII. is well dead, and of +our Bremen and Verden no question henceforth; even the Kaiser's +Spectre-Hunt, or Spanish Duel, is at rest for the present, and the +Congress of Cambrai is sitting, or trying all it can to sit: +at home or abroad, there is nothing, not even Wood's Irish +Halfpence, as yet making noise. And on the other hand, Czar Peter +is rumored (not without foundation) to be coming westward, with +some huge armament; which, whether "intended for Sweden" or not, +renders a Prussian alliance doubly valuable. + +And so now at last, in this favorable aspect of the stars, King +George, over at Herrenhausen, was by much management of his +Daughter Sophie's, and after many hitches, brought to the mark. +And Friedrich Wilhelm came over too; ostensibly to bring home his +Queen, but in reality to hear his Father-in-law's compliance to +the Double-Marriage,--for which his Prussian Majesty is willing +enough, if others are willing. Praised be Heaven, King George has +agreed to everything; consents, one propitious day (Autumn 1723, +day not otherwise dated),--Czar Peter's Armament, and the +questionable aspects in France, perhaps quickening his volitions a +little. Upon which Friedrich Wilhelm and Queen Sophie have +returned home, content in that matter; and expect shortly his +Britannic Majesty's counter-visit, to perfect the details, and +make a Treaty of it. + +His Britannic Majesty, we say, has in substance agreed to +everything. And now, in the silence of Nature, the brown leaves of +October still hanging to the trees in a picturesque manner, and +Wood's Halfpence not yet begun to jingle in the Drapier's Letters +of Dean Swift,--his Britannic Majesty is expected at Berlin. +At Berlin; properly at Charlottenburg a pleasant rural or suburban +Palace (built by his Britannic Majesty's late noble Sister, Sophie +Charlotte, "the Republican Queen," and named after her, as was +once mentioned), a mile or two Southwest of that City. There they +await King George's counter-visit. + +Poor Wilhelmina is in much trepidation about it; and imparts her +poor little feelings, her anticipations and experiences, in +readable terms:-- + +"There came, in those weeks, one of the Duke of Gloucester's +gentlemen to Berlin,"--DUKE OF GLOUCESTER is Fred our intended, +not yet Prince of Wales, and if the reader should ever hear of a +DUKE OF EDINBURGH, that too is Fred,--"Duke of Gloucester's +gentlemen to Berlin," says Wilhelmina: "the Queen had Soiree +(APPARTEMENT); he was presented to her as well as to me. He made +me a very obliging compliment on his Master's part; I blushed, and +answered only by a courtesy. The Queen, who had her eye on me, was +very angry I had answered the Duke's compliments in mere silence; +and rated me sharply (ME LAVA LA TETE D'IMPORTANCE) for it; and +ordered me, under pain of her indignation, to repair that fault +to-morrow. I retired, all in tears, to my room; exasperated +against the Queen and against the Duke; I swore I would never +marry him, would throw myself at the feet--" And so on, as young +ladies of vivacious temper, in extreme circumstances, are wont: +--did speak, however, next day, to my Hanover gentleman about his +Duke, a little, though in an embarrassed manner. Alas, I am yet +but fourteen, gone the 3d of July last: tremulous as aspen-leaves; +or say, as sheet-lightning bottled in one of the thinnest human +skins; and have no experience of foolish Dukes and affairs!-- + +"Meanwhile," continues Wilhelmina, "the King of England's time of +arrival was drawing nigh. We repaired, on the 6th of October, to +Charlottenburg to receive him. The heart of me kept beating, and I +was in cruel agitations. King George [my Grandfather, and Grand +Uncle] arrived on the 8th, about seven in the evening;"--dusky +shades already sinking over Nature everywhere, and all paths +growing dim. Abundant flunkies, of course, rush out with torches +or what is needful. "The King of Prussia, the Queen and all their +Suite received him in the Court of the Palace, the 'Apartments' +being on the ground-floor. So soon as he had saluted the King and +Queen, I was presented to him. He embraced me; and turning to the +Queen said to her, 'Your daughter is very big of her age!' He gave +the Queen his hand, and led her into her apartment, whither +everybody followed them. As soon as I came in, he took a light +from the table, and surveyed me from head to foot. I stood +motionless as a statue, and was much put out of countenance. +All this went on without his uttering the least word. Having thus +passed me in review, he addressed himself to my Brother, whom he +caressed much, and amused himself with, for a good while." +Pretty little Grandson this, your Majesty;--any future of history +in this one, think you? "I," says Wilhelmina, "took the +opportunity of slipping out;"--hopeful to get away; but could not, +the Queen having noticed. + +"The Queen made me a sign to follow her; and passed into a +neighboring apartment, where she had the English and Germans of +King George's Suite successively presented to her. After some talk +with these gentlemen, she withdrew; leaving me to entertain them, +and saying: 'Speak English to my Daughter; you will find she +speaks it very well.' I felt much less embarrassed, once the Queen +was gone; and picking up a little courage, I entered into +conversation with these English. As I spoke their language like my +mother-tongue, I got pretty well out of the affair, and everybody +seemed charmed with me. They made my eulogy to the Queen; told her +I had quite the English air, and was made to be their Sovereign +one day. It was saying a great deal on their part: for these +English think themselves so much above all other people, that they +imagine they are paying a high compliment when they tell any one +he has got English manners. + +"Their King [my Grandpapa] had got Spanish manners, I should say: +he was of an extreme gravity, and hardly spoke a word to anybody. +He saluted Madam Sonsfeld [my invaluable thrice-dear Governess] +very coldly; and asked her 'If I was always so serious, and if my +humor was of the melancholy turn?' 'Anything but that, Sire,' +answered the other: 'but the respect she has for your Majesty +prevents her from being as sprightly as she commonly is.' +He wagged his head, and answered nothing. The reception he had +given me, and this question, of which I heard, gave me such a +chill, that I never had the courage to speak to him,"--was merely +looked at with a candle by Grandpapa. + +"We were summoned to supper at last, where this grave Sovereign +still remained dumb. Perhaps he was right, perhaps he was wrong; +but I think he followed the proverb, which says, Better hold your +tongue than speak badly. At the end of the repast he felt +indisposed. The Queen would have persuaded him to quit table; +they bandied compliments a good while on the point; but at last +she threw down her napkin, and rose. The King of England naturally +rose too; but began to stagger; the King of Prussia ran up to help +him, all the company ran bustling about him; but it was to no +purpose: he sank on his knees; his peruke falling on one side, +and his hat [or at least his head, Madam!] on the other. +They stretched him softly on the floor; where he remained a good +hour without consciousness. The pains they took with him brought +back his senses, by degrees, at last. The Queen and the King [of +Prussia] were in despair all this while. Many have thought this +attack was a herald of the stroke of apoplexy which came by and +by,"--within four years from this date, and carried off his +Majesty in a very gloomy manner. + +"They passionately entreated him to retire now," continues +Wilhelmina; "but he would not by any means. He led out the Queen, +and did the other ceremonies, according to rule; had a very bad +night, as we learned underhand;" but persisted stoically +nevertheless, being a crowned Majesty, and bound to it. +He stoically underwent four or three other days, of festival, +sight-seeing, "pleasure" so called;--among other sights, saw +little Fritz drilling his Cadets at Berlin;--and on the fourth +day (12th October, 1723, so thinks Wilhelmina) fairly "signed the +Treaty of the Double-Marriage," English Townshend and the Prussian +Ministry having settled all things. [Wilhelmina, <italic> Memoires +de Bareith, <end italic> i. 83, 87,--In Coxe (<italic> Memoirs of +Sir Robert Walpole, <end italic> London, 1798), ii. 266, 272, 273, +are some faint hints, from Townshend, of this Berlin journey.] + +"Signed the Treaty," thinks Wilhelmina, "all things being +settled." Which is an error on the part of Wilhelmina. +Settled many or all things were by Townshend and the others: +but before signing, there was Parliament to be apprised, there +were formalities, expenditure of time; between the cup and the +lip, such things to intervene;--and the sad fact is, the +Double-Marriage Treaty never was signed at all!--However, all +things being now settled ready for signing, his Britannic Majesty, +next morning, set off for the GOHRDE again, to try if there were +any hunting possible. + +This authentic glimpse, one of the few that are attainable, of +their first Constitutional King, let English readers make the most +of. The act done proved dreadfully momentous to our little Friend, +his Grandson; and will much concern us! + +Thus, at any rate, was the Treaty of the Double-Marriage settled, +to the point of signing,--thought to be as good as signed. It was +at the time when Czar Peter was making armaments to burn Sweden; +when Wood's Halfpence (on behalf of her Improper Grace of Kendal, +the lean Quasi-Wife, "Maypole" or Hop-pole, who had run short of +money, as she often did) were about beginning to jingle in +Ireland; [Coxe (i. 216, 217, and SUPPLY the dates); Walpole to +Townshend, 13th October, 1723 (ib. ii. 275): <italic> "The +Drapier's Letters" <end italic> are of 1724.] when Law's Bubble +"System" had fallen, well flaccid, into Chaos again; when Dubois +the unutterable Cardinal had at length died, and d'Orleans the +unutterable Regent was unexpectedly about to do so,--in a most +surprising Sodom-and-Gomorrah manner. [2d December, 1723: +Barbier, <italic> Journal Historique du Regne de Louis XV. <end +italic> (Paris, l847), i. 192, 196; Lacretelle, <italic> Histoire +de France, 18me siecle; <end italic> &c.] Not to mention other +dull and vile phenomena of putrid fermentation, which were +transpiring, or sluttishly bubbling up, in poor benighted rotten +Europe here or there;--since these are sufficient to date the +Transaction for us; and what does not stick to our Fritz and his +affairs it is more pleasant to us to forget than to remember, of +such an epoch. + +Hereby, for the present, is a great load rolled from Queen Sophie +Dorothee's heart. One, and, that the highest, of her abstruse +negotiations, cherished, labored in, these fourteen years, she has +brought to a victorious issue,--has she not? Her poor Mother, once +so radiant, now so dim and angry, shut in the Castle of Ahlden, +does not approve this Double-Marriage; not she for her part;--as +indeed evil to all Hanoverian interests is now chiefly her good, +poor Lady; and she is growing more and more of a Megaera every +day. With whom Sophie Dorothee has her own difficulties and +abstruse practices; but struggles always to maintain, under +seven-fold secrecy, some thread of correspondence and pious +filial ministration wherever possible; that the poor exasperated +Mother, wretchedest and angriest of women, be not quite cut off +from the kinship of the living, but that some soft breath of pity +may cool her burning heart now and then. [In <italic> Memoirs of +Sophia Dorothea <end italic> (London, 1845), ii. 385, 393, are +certain fractions of this Correspondence, "edited" in an amazing +manner.] A dark tragedy of Sophie's, this; the Bluebeard Chamber +of her mind, into which no eye but her own must ever look. + + +PRINCESS AMELIA COMES INTO THE WORLD. + +In reference to Queen Sophie, and chronologically if not otherwise +connected with this Double-Marriage Treaty, I will mention one +other thing. Her Majesty had been in fluctuating health, all +summer; unaccountable symptoms turning up in her Majesty's +constitution, languors, qualms, especially a tendency to swelling +or increase of size, which had puzzled and alarmed her Doctors and +her. Friedrich Wilhelm, on conclusion of the Marriage-Treaty, had +been appointed to join his Father-in-law, Britannic George, at the +Gohrde, in some three weeks' time, and have a bout of hunting. +On the 8th of November, bedtime being come, he kissed his +Wilhelmina and the rest, by way of good-by; intending to start +very early on the morrow:--long journey (150 miles or so), to be +done all in one day. In the dead of the night, Queen Sophie was +seized with dreadful colics,--pangs of colic or who knows what;-- +Friedrich Wilhelm is summoned; rises in the highest alarm; +none but the maids and he at hand to help; and the colic, or +whatever it may be, gets more and more dreadful. + +Colic? O poor Sophie, it is travail, and no colic; and a clever +young Princess is suddenly the result! None but Friedrich Wilhelm +and the maid for midwives; mother and infant, nevertheless, doing +perfectly well. Friedrich Wilhelm did not go on the morrow, but +next day; laughed, ever and anon in loud hahas, at the part he had +been playing; and was very glad and merry. How the experienced +Sophie, whose twelfth child this is, came to commit such an +oversight is unaccountable; but the fact is certain, and made a +merry noise in Court circles. [Pollnitz, ii. 199; Wilhelmina, +i. 87, 88.] + +The clever little Princess, now born in this manner, is known +by name to idle readers. She was christened AMELIA; and we shall +hear of her in time coming. But there was, as the Circulating +Libraries still intimate, a certain loud-spoken braggart of the +histrionic-heroic sort, called Baron Trenck, windy, rash, and not +without mendacity, who has endeavored to associate her with his +own transcendent and not undeserved ill-luck; hinting the poor +Princess into a sad fame in that way. For which, it would now +appear, there was no basis whatever! Most condemnable Trenck;-- +whom, however, Robespierre guillotined finally, and so settled +that account and others. + +Of Sophie Dorothee's twelve children, including this Amelia, there +are now eight living, two boys, six girls; and after Amelia, two +others, boys, are successively to come: ten in all, who grew to be +men and women. Of whom perhaps I had better subjoin a List; +now that the eldest Boy and Girl are about to get settled in life; +and therewith close this Chapter. + + +FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S TEN CHILDREN. + +Marriage to Sophie Dorothee, 28th November, 1706. + +A little Prince, born 23d November, 1707, died in six months. +Then came, + l. FREDERIKA SOPHIE WILHELMINA, ultimately Margravine of +Baireuth, after strange adventures in the marriage-treaty way. +Wrote her <italic> Memoires <end italic> there, about 1744. +Of whom we shall hear much. Left a Daughter, her one child; +Daughter badly married, to "Karl reigning Duke of Wurtemberg" +(Poet Schiller's famous Serene Highness there), from whom she had +to separate, &c., with anger enough, by and by. + +After Wilhelmina in the Family series came a second Prince, who +died in the eleventh month. Then, 24th January, 1712, + 2. FRIEDRICH. + +After whom (1713) a little Princess, who died in few months. +And then, + 3. FREDERIKA LOUISA, born 28th September, 1714; age now about +nine. Margravine of Anspach, 30th May, 1729; Widow 1757. +Her one Son, born 1736, was the LADY-CRAVEN'S Anspach. +Frederika Louisa died 4th February, 1734. + 4. PHILIPPINA CHARLOTTE, born 13th of March, 1716; became +Duchess of Brunswick (her Husband was Eldest Brother of the +"Prince Ferdinand" so famous in England in the Seven-Years War); +her Son was the Duke who invaded France in 1792, and was +tragically hurled to ruin in the Battle of Jena, 1806. The Mother +lived till 1801; Widow since 1780. + +After whom, in 1717, again a little Prince, who died within two +years (our Fritz then seven,--probably the first time Death ever +came before him, practically into his little thoughts in this +world): then, + 5. SOPHIE DOROTHEE MARIA, born 25th January, 1719; Margravine of +Schwedt, 1734 (eldest Magraf of Schwedt, mentioned above as a +comrade of the Crown-Prince). Her life not very happy; she died +1765. Left no son (Brother-in-law succeeded, last of the Schwedt +MARGRAVES): her Daughter, wedded to Prince Friedrich Eugen, a +Prussian Officer, Cadet of Wurtemberg and ultimately Heir there, +is Ancestress of the Wurtemberg Sovereignties that now are, and +also (by one of HER daughters married to Paul of Russia) of all +the Czar kindred of our time. [Preuss, iv. 278; Erman, <italic> +Vie de Sophie Charlotte, <end italic> p. 2722.] + 6. LOUISA ULRIQUE, born 24th July, 1720; married Adolf +Friedrich, Heir-Apparent, subsequemly King of Sweden, 17th July, +1744; Queen (he having acceded) 6th April, 1751; Widow 1771; +died, at Stockholm, 16th July, 1782. Mother of the subsequent +Kings; her Grandson the DEPOSED> [OErtel, p. 83; Hubner, +tt. 91, 227.] + 7. AUGUST WILHELM, born 9th August, 1722; Heir-Apparent after +Friedrich (so declared by Friedrich, 30th June, 1744); Father of +the Kings who have since followed. He himself died, in sad +circumstances, as we shall see, 12th June, 1758. + 8. ANNA AMELIA, born 9th November, 1723,--on the terms we +have seen. + 9. FRIEDRICH HEINRICH LUDWIG, born l8th January, 1726;--the +famed Prince Henri, of whom we shall hear. + 10. AUGUST FERDINAND, born 23d May, 1730: a brilliant enough +little soldier under his Brother, full of spirit and talent, but +liable to weak health;--was Father of the "Prince Louis +Ferdinand," a tragic Failure of something considerable, who went +off in Liberalism, wit, in high sentiment, expenditure and +debauchery, greatly to the admiration of some persons; and at +length rushed desperate upon the Frenoh, and found his quietus +(10th October, 1806), four days before the Battle of Jena. + + + +Chapter II. + +A KAISER HUNTING SHADOWS. + +Treaty of Double-Marriage is ready for signing, once the needful +Parliamentary preludings are gone through; Treaty is signed, +thinks Wilhelmina,--forgetting the distance between cup and lip!-- +As to signing, or even to burning, and giving up the thought of +signing, alas, how far are we yet from that! Imperial +spectre-huntings and the politics of most European Cabinets will +connect themselves with that; and send it wandering wide enough,-- +lost in such a jungle of intrigues, pettifoggings, treacheries, +diplomacies domestic and foreign, as the course of true-love never +got entangled in before. + +The whole of which extensive Cabinet operations, covering square +miles of paper at this moment,--having nevertheless, after ten +years of effort, ended in absolute zero,--were of no worth even to +the managers of them; and are of less than none to any mortal now +or henceforth. So that the method of treating them becomes a +problem to History. To pitch them utterly out of window, and out +of memory, never to be mentioned in human speech again: this is +the manifest prompting of Nature;--and this, were not our poor +Crown-Prince and one or two others involved in them, would be our +ready and thrice-joyful course. Surely the so-called "Politics of +Europe" in that day are a thing this Editor would otherwise with +his whole soul, forget to all eternity! "Putrid fermentation," +ending, after the endurance of much mal-odor, in mere zero to you +and to every one, even to the rotting bodies themselves:--is there +any wise Editor that would connect himself with that? These are +the fields of History which are to be, so soon as humanly +possible, SUPPRESSED; which only Mephistopheles, or the bad Genius +of Mankind, can contemplate with pleasure. + +Let us strive to touch lightly the chief summits, here and there, +of that intricate, most empty, mournful Business,--which was +really once a Fact in practical Europe, not the mere nightmare of +an Attorney's Dream;--and indicate, so far as indispensable, how +the young Friedrich, Friedrich's Sister, Father, Mother, were +tribulated, almost heart-broken and done to death, by means of it. + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY ON THE TREATY OF UTRECHT. + +Kaiser Karl VI., head of the Holy Romish Empire at this time, was +a handsome man to look upon; whose life, full of expense, +vicissitude, futile labor and adventure, did not prove of much use +to the world. Describable as a laborious futility rather. He was +second son of that little Leopold, the solemn little Herr in red +stockings, who had such troubles, frights, and runnings to and fro +with the sieging Turks, liberative Sobieskis, acquisitive Louis +Fourteenths; and who at length ended in a sea of futile labor, +which they call the Spanish Succession War. + +This Karl, second son, had been appointed "King of Spain" in that +futile business; and with much sublimity, though internally in an +impoverished condition, he proceeded towards Spain, landing in +England to get cash for the outfit;--arrived in Spain; and roved +about there as Titular-King for some years, with the fighting +Peterboroughs, Galways, Stahrembergs; but did no good there, +neither he nor his Peterboroughs. At length, his Brother Joseph, +Father Leopold's successor, having died, [17th April, 1711.] Karl +came home from Spain to be Kaiser. At which point, Karl would have +been wise to give up his Titular Kingship in Spain; for he never +got, nor will get, anything but futile labor from hanging to it. +He did hang to it nevertheless; and still, at this date of +George's visit and long afterwards, hangs,--with notable +obstinacy. To the woe of men and nations: punishment doubtless of +his sins and theirs!-- + +Kaiser Karl shrieked mere amazement and indignation, when the +English tired of fighting for him and it. When the English said to +their great Marlborough: "Enough, you sorry Marlborough! You have +beaten Louis XIV. to the suppleness of wash-leather, at our +bidding; that is true, and that may have had its difficulties: +but, after all, we prefer to have the thing precisely as it would +have been without any fighting. You, therefore, what is the good +of you? You are a--person whom we fling out like sweepings, now +that our eyesight returns, and accuse of common stealing. +Go and be--!" + +Nothing ever had so disgusted and astonished Kaiser Karl as this +treatment,--not of Marlborough, whom he regarded only as he would +have done a pair of military boots or a holster-pistol of superior +excellence, for the uses that were in him,--but of the Kaiser Karl +his own sublime self, the heart and focus of Political Nature; +left in this manner, now when the sordid English and Dutch +declined spending blood and money for him farther. "Ungrateful, +sordid, inconceivable souls," answered Karl, "was there ever, +since the early Christian times, such a martyr as you have now +made of me!" So answered Karl, in diplomatic groans and shrieks, +to all ends of Europe. But the sulky English and Allies, +thoroughly tired of paying and bleeding, did not heed him; +made their Peace of Utrecht [Peace of Utrecht, 11th April, 1713; +Peace of Rastadt (following upon the Preliminaries of Baden), +6th March, 1714.] with Louis XIV., who was now beaten supple; +and Karl, after a year of indignant protests and futile attempts +to fight Louis on his own score, was obliged to do the like. +He has lost the Spanish crown; but still holds by the shadow of +it; will not quit that, if he can help it. He hunts much, digests +well; is a sublime Kaiser, though internally rather poor, carrying +his head high; and seems to himself, on some sides of his life, a +martyred much-enduring man. + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY HAS GOT HAPPILY WEDDED. + +Kaiser Karl, soon after the time of going to Spain had decided +that a Wife would be necessary. He applied to Caroline of Anspach, +now English Princess of Wales, but at that time an orphaned +Brandenburg-Anspach Princess, very Beautiful, graceful, gifted, +and altogether unprovided for; living at Berlin under the +guardianship of Friedrich the first King. Her young Mother had +married again,--high enough match (to Kur-Sachsen, elder Brother +of August the Strong, August at that time without prospects of the +Electorate);--but it lasted short while: Caroline's Mother and +Saxon Stepfather were both now, long since, dead. So she lived at +Berlin brilliant though unportioned;--with the rough cub Friedrich +Wilhelm much following her about, and passionately loyal to her, +as the Beast was to Beauty; whom she did not mind except as a cub +loyal to her; being five years older than he. [Forster, i. 107.] +Indigent bright Caroline, a young lady of fine aquiline features +and spirit, was applied for to be Queen of Spain; wooer a handsome +man, who might even be Kaiser by and by. Indigent bright Caroline +at once answered, No. She was never very orthodox in Protestant +theology; but could not think of taking up Papistry for +lucre's and ambition's sake: be that always remembered on +Caroline's behalf. + +The Spanish Majesty next applied at Brunswick Wolfenbuttel; +no lack of Princesses there: Princesa Elizabeth, for instance; +Protestant she too, but perhaps not so squeamish? Old Anton +Ulrich, whom some readers know for the idle Books, long-winded +Novels chiefly, which he wrote, was the Grandfather of this +favored Princess; a good-natured old gentleman, of the idle +ornamental species, in whose head most things, it is likely, were +reduced to vocables, scribble and sentimentality; and only a +steady internal gravitation towards praise and pudding was +traceable as very real in him. Anton Ulrich, affronted more or +less by the immense advancement of Gentleman Ernst and the +Hanoverian or YOUNGER Brunswick Line, was extremely glad of the +Imperial offer; and persuaded his timid Grand-daughter, ambitious +too, but rather conscience-stricken, That the change from +Protestant to Catholic, the essentials being so perfectly +identical in both, was a mere trifle; that he himself, old as he +was, would readily change along with her, so easy was it. +Whereupon the young Lady made the big leap; abjured her religion; +[1st May, 1707, at Bamberg.]--went to Spain as Queen (with sad +injury to her complexion, but otherwise successfully more or +less);--and sits now as Empress beside her Karl VI. in a grand +enough, probably rather dull, but not singularly unhappy manner. + +She, a Brunswick Princess, with Nephews and Nieces who may concern +us, is Kaiserinn to Kaiser Karl: for aught I know of her, a kindly +simple Wife, and unexceptionable Sovereign Majesty, of the sort +wanted; whom let us remember, if we meet her again one day. I add +only of this poor Lady, distinguished to me by a Daughter she had, +that her mind still had some misgivings about the big leap she had +made in the Protestant-Papist way. Finding Anton Ulrich still +continue Protestant, she wrote to him out of Spain:--"Why, O +honored Grandpapa, have you not done as you promised? Ah, there +must be a taint of mortal sin in it, after all!" Upon which the +absurdly situated old Gentleman did change his religion; and is +marked as a Convert in all manner of Genealogies and Histories;-- +truly an old literary gentleman ducal and serene, restored to the +bosom of the Church in a somewhat peculiarly ridiculous manner. +{Michaelis, i. 131.]--But to return. + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY AND THE TERMAGANT OF SPAIN. + +Ever after the Peace of Utrecht, when England and Holland declined +to bleed for him farther, especially ever since his own Peace of +Rastadt made with Louis the year after Kaiser Karl had utterly +lost hold of the Crown of Spain; and had not the least chance to +clutch that bright substance again. But he held by the shadow of +it, with a deadly Hapsburg tenacity; refused for twenty years, +under all pressures, to part with the shadow: "The Spanish +Hapsburg Branch is dead; whereupon do not I, of the Austrian +Branch, sole representative of Kaiser Karl the Fifth, claim, by +the law of Heaven, whatever he possessed in Spain, by law of +ditto? Battles of Blenheim of Malplaquet, Court-intrigues of Mrs. +Masham and the Duchess: these may bring Treaties of Utrecht, and +what you are pleased to call laws of Earth;--but a Hapsburg Kaiser +knows higher laws, if you would do a thousand Utrechts; and by +these, Spain is his!" + +Poor Kaiser Karl: he had a high thought in him really though a +most misguided one. Titular King of Men; but much bewildered into +mere indolent fatuity, inane solemnity, high sniffing pride +grounded on nothing at all; a Kaiser much sunk in the sediments of +his muddy Epoch. Sure enough, he was a proud lofty solemn Kaiser, +infinitely the gentleman in air and humor; Spanish gravities, +ceremonials, reticences;--and could, in a better scene, have +distinguished himself by better than mere statuesque immovability +of posture, dignified endurance of ennui, and Hapsburg tenacity in +holding the grip. It was not till 1735, after tusslings and +wrenchings beyond calculation, that he would consent to quit +the Shadow of the Crown of Spain; and let Europe BE at peace +on that score. + +The essence of what is called the European History of this Period, +such History as a Period sunk dead in spirit, and alive only in +stomach, can have, turns all on Kaiser Karl, and these his +clutchings at shadows. Which makes a very sad, surprising History +indeed; more worthy to be called Phenomena of Putrid Fermentation, +than Struggles of Human Heroism to vindicate itself in this +Planet, which latter alone are worthy of recording as "History" +by mankind. + +On the throne of Spain, beside Philip V. the melancholic new +Bourbon, Louis XIV.'s Grandson, sat Elizabeth Farnese, a termagant +tenacious woman, whose ambitious cupidities were not inferior in +obstinacy to Kaiser Karl's, and proved not quite so shadowy as +his. Elizabeth also wanted several things: renunciation of your +(Kaiser Karl's) shadowy claims; nay of sundry real usurpations you +and your Treaties have made on the actual possessions of Spain,-- +Kingdom of Sicily, for instance; Netherlands, for instance; +Gibraltar, for instance. But there is one thing which, we observe, +is indispensable throughout to Elizabeth Farnese: the future +settlement of her dear Boy Carlos. Carlos, whom as Spanish +Philip's second Wife she had given to Spain and the world, as +Second or supplementary INFANT there,--a troublesome gift to Spain +and others. + +"This dear Boy, surely he must have his Italian Apanages, which, +you have provided for him: Duchies of Parma and Piacenza, which +will fall heirless soon. Security for these Italian Apanages, such +as will satisfy a Mother: Let us introduce Spanish garrisons into +Parma and Piacenza at once! How else can we be certain of getting +those indispensable Apanages, when they fall vacant?" On this +point Elizabeth Farnese was positive, maternally vehement; +would take no subterfuge, denial or delay: "Let me perceive that +I shall have these Duchies: that, first of all; or else not that +only, but numerous other things will be demanded of you!" + +Upon which point the Kaiser too, who loved his Duchies, and hoped +yet to keep them by some turn of the game, never could decide to +comply. Whereupon Elizabeth grew more and more termagant; listened +to wild counsels; took up an Alberoni, a Ripperda, any wandering +diplomatic bull-dog that offered; and let them loose upon the +Kaiser and her other gainsayers. To the terror of mankind, lest +universal war should supervene. She held the Kaiser well at bay, +mankind well in panic; and continually there came on all Europe, +for about twenty years, a terror that war was just about to break +out, and the whole world to take fire. The History so called of +Europe went canting from side to side; heeling at a huge rate, +according to the passes and lunges these two giant figures, +Imperial Majesty and the Termagant of Spain, made at one another, +--for a twenty years or more, till once the duel was decided +between them. + +There came next to no war, after all; sputterings of war twice +over,--1718, Byng at Messina, as we saw; and then, in 1727, a +second sputter, as we are to see:--but the neighbors always ran +with buckets, and got it quenched. No war to speak of; but such +negotiating, diplomatizing, universal hope, universal fear, and +infinite ado about nothing, as were seldom heard of before. +For except Friedrich Wilhelm drilling his 50,000 soldiers (80,000 +gradually, and gradually even twice that number), I see no Crowned +Head in Europe that is not, with immeasurable apparatus, simply +doing ZERO. Alas, in an age of universal infidelity to Heaven, +where the Heavenly Sun has SUNK, there occur strange +Spectre-huntings. Which is a fact worth laying to heart.--Duel of +Twenty Years with Elizabeth Farnese, about the eventualities of +Parma and Piacensa, and the Shadow of the lost Crown of Spain; +this was the first grand Spectrality of Kaiser Karl's existence; +but this was not the whole of them. + + +IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S PRAGMATIC SANCTION. + +Kaiser Karl meanwhile was rather short of heirs; which formed +another of his real troubles, and involved him in much +shadow-hunting. His Wife, the Serene Brunswick Empress whom we +spoke of above, did at length bring him children, brought him a +boy even; but the boy died within the year; and, on the whole, +there remained nothing but two Daughters; Maria Theresa the elder +of them, born 1717,--the prettiest little maiden in the world;-- +no son to inherit Kaiser Karl. Under which circumstances Kaiser +Karl produced now, in the Year 1724, a Document which he had +executed privately as long ago as 1713, only his Privy Councillors +and other Official witnesses knowing of it then; [19th April, 1713 +(Stenzel, iii. 5222).] and solemnly publishes it to the world, as +a thing all men are to take notice of. All men had notice enough +of this Imperial bit of Sheepskin, before they got done with it, +five-and-twenty years hence. [Peace of Aix-la-Chapelle, 1748.] +A very famous Pragmatic Sanction; now published for the +world's comfort! + +By which Document, Kaiser Karl had formally settled, and fixed +according to the power he has, in the shape of what they call a +Pragmatic Sanction, or unalterable Ordinance in his Imperial +House, "That, failing Heirs-male, his Daughters, his Eldest +Daughter, should succeed him; failing Daughters, his Nieces; +and in short, that Heirs-female ranking from their kinship to +Kaiser Karl, and not to any prior Kaiser, should be as good as +Heirs-male of Karl's body would have been." A Pragmatic Sanction +is the high name he gives this document, or the Act it represents; +"Pragmatic Sanction" being, in the Imperial Chancery and some +others, the received title for Ordinances of a very irrevocable +nature, which a sovereign makes, in affairs that belong wholly to +himself, or what he reckons his own rights. [A rare kind of Deed, +it would seem; and all the more solemn. In 1438, Charles VI. of +France, conceding the Gallican Church its Liberties, does, it by +"SANCTION PRAGMATIQUE;" Carlos III. of Spain (in 1759, "settling +the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies on his third son") does the like, +--which is the last instance of "PRAGMATIC SANCTION" in +this world.] + +This Pragmatic Sanction of Kaiser Karl's, executed 19th April, +1713, was promulgated, "gradually," now here now there, from 1720 +to 1724, {Stenzel, pp. 522, 523.]--in which later year it became +universally public; and was transmitted to all Courts and +Sovereignties, as an unalterable law of Things Imperial. +Thereby the good man hopes his beautiful little Theresa, now seven +years old, may succeed him, all as a son would have done, in the +Austrian States and Dignities; and incalculable damages, wars, and +chances of war, be prevented, for his House and for all the world. + +The world, incredulous of to-morrow, in its lazy way, was not +sufficiently attentive to this new law of things. Some who were +personally interested, as the Saxon Sovereignty, and the Bavarian, +denied that it was just: reminded Kaiser-Karl that he was not the +Noah or Adam of Kaisers; and that the case of Heirs-female was not +quite a new idea on sheepskin. No; there are older Pragmatic +Sanctions and settlements, by prior Kaisers of blessed memory; +under which, if Daughters are to come in, we, descended from +Imperial Daughters of older standing, shall have a word to say!-- +To this Kaiser Karl answers steadily, with endless argument, That +every Kaiser is a Patriarch, and First Man, in such matters; +and that so it has been pragmatically sanctioned by him, and that +so it shall and must irrevocably be. To the other Powers, and +indolent impartial Sovereigns of the world, he was lavish in +embassies; in ardent representations; and spared no pains in +convincing them that to-morrow would surely come, and that then it +would be a blessedness to have accepted this Pragmatic Sanction, +and see it lying for you as a Law of Nature to go by, and avoid +incalculable controversies. + +This was another vast Shadow, or confused high-piled continent of +shadows, to which our poor Kaiser held with his customary +tenacity. To procure adherences and assurances to this dear +Pragmatic Sanction, was, even more than the shadow of the Spanish +Crown, and above all after he had quitted that, the one grand +business of his Life henceforth. With which he kept all Europe in +perpetual travail and diplomacy; raying out ambassadors, and less +ostensible agents, with bribes, and with entreaties and proposals, +into every high Sovereign Court and every low; negotiating +unweariedly by all methods, with all men. For it was his +evening-song and his morning-prayer; the grand meaning of Life to +him, till Life ended. You would have said, the first question he +asks of every creature is, "Will you covenant for my Pragmatic +Sanction with me? Oh, agree to it; accept that new Law of +Nature: when the morrow comes, it will be salutary for you!" + +Most of the Foreign Potentates idly accepted the thing,--as things +of a distant contingent kind are accepted;--made Treaty on it, +since the Kaiser seemed so extremely anxious. Only Bavaria, having +heritable claims, never would. Saxony too (August the Strong), +being in the like case, or a better, flatly refused for a long +time; would not, at all,--except for a consideration. +Bright little Prince Eugene, who dictated square miles of Letters +and DIplomacies on the subject (Letters of a steady depth of +dulness, which at last grows almost sublime), was wont to tell his +Majesty: "Treatying, your Majesty? A well-trained Army and a full +Treasury; that is the only Treaty that will make this Pragmatic +Sanction valid!" But his Majesty never would believe. So the +bright old Eugene dictated,--or, we hope and guess, he only gave +his clerks some key-word, and signed his name (in three languages, +"Eugenio von Savoye") to these square miles of dull epistolary +matter,--probably taking Spanish snuff when he had done. For he +wears it in both waistcoat-pockets;--has (as his Portraits still +tell us) given up breathing by the nose. The bright little soul, +with a flash in him as of Heaven's own lightning; but now growing +very old and snuffy. + +Shadow of Pragmatic Sanction, shadow of the Spanish Crown,--it was +such shadow-huntings of the Kaiser in Vienna, it was this of the +Pragmatic Sanction most of all, that thwarted our Prussian +Double-Marriage, which lay so far away from it. This it was that +pretty nearly broke the hearts of Friedrich, Wilhelmina, and their +Mother and Father. For there never was such negotiating; not for +admittance to the Kingdom of Heaven, in the pious times. And the +open goings-forth of it, still more the secret minings and +mole-courses of it, were into all places. Above ground and below, +no Sovereign mortal could say he was safe from it, let him agree +or not. Friedrich Wilhelm had cheerfully, and with all his heart, +agreed to the Pragmatic Sanction; this above ground, in sight of +the sun; and rashly fancied he had then done with it. Till, to his +horror, he found the Imperial moles, by way of keeping assurance +doubly sure, had been under the foundations of his very house for +long years past, and had all but brought it down about him in the +most hideous manner!-- + + +THIRD SHADOW: IMPERIAL MAJESTY'S OSTEND COMPANY. + +Another object which Kaiser Karl pursued with some diligence in +these times, and which likewise proved a shadow, much disturbance +as it gave mankind, was his "Ostend East-India Company." +The Kaiser had seen impoverished Spain, rich England, rich +Holland; he had taken up a creditable notion about commerce and +its advantages. He said to himself, Why should not my Netherlands +trade to the East, as well as these English and Dutch, and grow +opulent like them? He instituted (OCTROYA) an "Ostend East-India +Company," under due Patents and Imperial Sheepskins, of date 17th +December, 1722, [Buchholz, i. 88; Pfeffel, <italic> Abrege +Chronologique de l'Histoire d'Allemagne <end italic> (Park, 1776), +ii. 522.] gave it what freedom he could to trade to the East. +"Impossible!" answered the Dutch, with distraction in their +aspect; "Impossible, we say; contrary to Treaty of Westphalia, to +Utrecht, to Barrier Treaty; and destructive to the best interests +of mankind, especially to us and our trade-profits! We shall have +to capture your ships, if you ever send any." + +To which the Kaiser counterpleaded, earnestly, diligently, for the +space of seven years,--to no effect. "We will capture your ships +if you ever send any," answered the Dutch and English. What ships +ever could have been sent from Ostend to the East, or what ill +they could have done there, remains a mystery, owing to the +monopolizing Maritime Powers. + +The Kaiser's laudable zeal for commerce had to expend itself in +his Adriatic Territories,--giving privileges to the Ports of +Trieste and Fiume; [Hormayr, <italic> OEsterreichischer Plutarch, +<end italic> x. 101.] making roads through the Dalmatian +Hill-Countries, which are useful to this day;--but could not +operate on the Netherlands in the way proposed. The Kaiser's +Imperial Ostend East-India Company, which convulsed the Diplomatic +mind for seven years to come, and made Europe lurch from side to +side in a terrific manner, proved a mere paper Company; never sent +any ships, only produced Diplomacies, and "had the honor to be." +This was the third grand Shadow which the Kaiser chased, shaking +all the world, poor crank world, as he strode after it; and this +also ended in zero, and several tons of diplomatic correspondence, +carried once by breathless estaffettes, and now silent, +gravitating towards Acheron all of them, and interesting to the +spiders only. + +Poor good Kaiser: they say he was a humane stately gentleman, +stately though shortish; fond of pardoning criminals where he +could; very polite to Muratori and the Antiquaries, even to +English Rymer, in opening his Archives to them,--and made roads in +the Dalmatian Hill-Country, which remain to this day. I do not +wonder he grew more and more saturnine, and addicted to solid +taciturn field-sports. His Political "Perforce-Hunt (PARFORCE +JAGD)," with so many two-footed terriers, and legationary beagles, +distressing all the world by their baying and their burrowing, had +proved to be of Shadows; and melted into thin air, to a very +singular degree! + + + +Chapter III. + +THE SEVEN CRISES OR EUROPEAN TRAVAIL-THROES. + +In process of this so terrific Duel with Elizabeth Farnese, and +general combat of the Shadows, which then made Europe quake, at +every new lunge and pass of it, and which now makes Europe yawn to +hear the least mention of it, there came two sputterings of actual +War. Byng's sea-victory at Messina, 1718; Spanish "Siege of +Gibraltar," 1727, are the main phenomena of these two Wars,-- +England, as its wont is, taking a shot in both, though it has now +forgotten both. And, on the whole, there came, so far as I can +count, Seven grand diplomatic Spasms or Crises,--desperate general +European Treatyings hither and then thither, solemn Congresses two +of them, with endless supplementary adhesions by the minor powers. +Seven grand mother-treaties, not to mention the daughters, or +supplementary adhesions they had; all Europe rising spasmodically +seven times, and doing its very uttermost to quell this terrible +incubus; all Europe changing color seven times, like a lobster +boiling, for twenty years. Seven diplomatic Crises, we say, marked +changings of color in the long-suffering lobster; and two +so-called Wars,--before this enormous zero could be settled. +Which high Treaties and Transactions, human nature, after much +study of them, grudges to enumerate. Apanage for Baby Carlos, +ghost of a Pragmatic Sanction; these were a pair of causes for +mankind! Be no word spoken of them, except with regret and on +evident compulsion. + +For the reader's convenience we must note the salient points; +but grudge to do it. Salient points, now mostly wrapt in Orcus, +and terrestrially interesting only to the spiders,--except on an +occasion of this kind, when part of them happens to stick to the +history of a memorable man, To us they are mere bubblings-up of +the general putrid fermentation of the then Political World; +and are too unlovely to be dwelt on longer than indispensable. +Triple Alliance, Quadruple Alliance, Congress of Cambrai, Congress +of Soissons; Conference of Pardo, Treaty of Hanover, Treaty of +Wusterhausen, what are they? Echo answers, What? Ripperda and the +Queen of Spain, Kaiser Karl and his Pragmatic Sanction, are fallen +dim to every mind. The Troubles of Thorn (sad enough +Papist-Protestant tragedy in their time),--who now cares to know +of them? It is much if we find a hearing for the poor Salzburg +Emigrants when they get into Preussen itself. Afflicted human +nature ought to be, at last, delivered from the palpably +superfluous; and if a few things memorable are to be remembered, +millions of things unmemorable must first be honestly buried and +forgotten! But to our affair,--that of marking the chief +bubblings-up in the above-said Universal Putrid Fermentation, so +far as they concern us. + +CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI. + +We already saw Byng sea fighting in the Straits of Messina; +that was part of Crisis Second,--sequel, in powder-and-ball, of +Crisis First, which had been in paper till then. The Powers had +interfered, by Triple, by Quadruple Alliance, to quench the +Spanish-Austrian Duel (about Apanage for Baby Carlos, and a +quantity of other Shadows): "Triple Alliance" [4th January, 1717.] +was, we may say, when France, England, Holland laboriously sorted +out terms of agreement between Kaiser and Termagant: "Quadruple" +[18th July, 1718.] was when Kaiser, after much coaxing, acceded, +as fourth party; and said gloomily, "Yes, then." Byng's Sea-fight +was when Termagant said, "No, by--the Plots of Alberoni! +Never will I, for my part, accede to such terms!" and attacked the +poor Kaiser in his Sicilies and elsewhere. Byng's Sea-fight, in +aid of a suffering Kaiser and his Sicilies, in consequence. +Furthermore, the French invaded Spain, till Messina were retaken; +nay the English, by land too, made a dash at Spain, "Descent on +Vigo" as they call it,--in reference to which take the following +stray Note:-- + +"That same year [1719, year after Byng's Sea-fight, Messina just +about recaptured], there took effect, planned by the vigorous +Colonel Stanhope, our Minister at Madrid, who took personal share +in the thing, a 'Descent on Vigo,' sudden swoop-down upon Town and +shipping in those Gallician, north-west regions. Which was +perfectly successful,--Lord Cobham leading;--and made much noise +among mankind. Filled all Gazettes at that time;--but now, again, +is all fallen silent for us,--except this one thrice-insignificant +point, That there was in it, 'in Handyside's Regiment,' a +Lieutenant of Foot, by name STERNE, who had left, with his poor +Wife at Plymouth, a very remarkable Boy called Lorry, or LAWRENCE; +known since that to all mankind. When Lorry in his LIFE writes, +'my Father went on the Vigo expedition,' readers may understand +this was it. Strange enough: that poor Lieutenant of Foot is now +pretty much all that is left of this sublime enterprise upon Vigo, +in the memory of mankind;--hanging there, as if by a single hair, +till poor TRISTRAM SHANDY be forgotten too." [<italic> Memoirs of +Laurence Sterne, written by himself for his Daughter (see Annual +Register, <end italic> Year 1775, pp. 50-52).] + +In short, the French and even the English invaded Spain; +English Byng and others sank Spanish ships: Termagant was obliged +to pack away her Alberoni, and give in. She had to accede to +"Quadruple Alliance," after all; making it, so to speak, a +Quintuple one; making Peace, in fact, [17th February, 1720.]-- +general Congress to be held at Cambrai and settle the details. + +Congress of Cambrai met accordingly; in 1722,--"in the course of +the year," Delegates slowly raining in,--date not fixable to a day +or month. Congress was "sat," as we said,--or, alas, was only +still endeavoring to get seated, and wandering about among the +chairs,--when George I. came to Charlottenburg that evening, +October, 1723, and surveyed Wilhelmina with a candle. More inane +Congress never met in this world, nor will meet. Settlement proved +so difficult; all the more, as neither of the quarrelling parties +wished it. Kaiser and Termagant, fallen as if exhausted, had not +the least disposition to agree; lay diplomatically gnashing their +teeth at one another, ready to fight again should strength return. +Difficult for third parties to settle on behalf of such a pair. +Nay at length the Kaiser's Ostend Company came to light: what will +third parties, Dutch and English especially, make of that? + +This poor Congress---let the reader fancy it--spent two years in +"arguments about precedencies," in mere beatings of the air; +could not get seated at all, but wandered among the chairs, till +"February, 1724." Nor did it manage to accomplish any work +whatever, even then; the most inane of Human Congresses; +and memorable on that account, if on no other. There, in old +stagnant Cambrai, through the third year and into the fourth, were +Delegates, Spanish, Austrian, English, Dutch, French, of solemn +outfit, with a big tail to each,--"Lord Whitworth" whom I do not +know, "Lord Polwarth" (Earl of Marchmont that will be, a friend of +Pope's), were the English Principals: [Scholl, ii. 197.]--there, +for about four years, were these poor fellow-creatures busied, +baling out water with sieves. Seen through the Horn-Gate of +Dreams, the figure of them rises almost grand on the mind. + +A certain bright young Frenchman, Francois Arouet,--spoiled for a +solid law-career, but whose OEDIPE we saw triumphing in the +Theatres, and who will, under the new name of VOLTAIRE, become +very memorable to us,--happened to be running towards Holland that +way, one of his many journeys thitherward; and actually saw this +Congress, then in the first year of its existence. Saw it, +probably dined with it. A Letter of his still extant, not yet +fallen to the spiders, as so much else has done, testifies to this +fact. Let us read part of it, the less despicable part,--as a +Piece supremely insignificant, yet now in a manner the one +surviving Document of this extraordinary Congress; Congress's own +works and history having all otherwise fallen to the spiders +forever. The Letter is addressed to Cardinal Dubois;--for Dubois, +"with the face like a goat," [Herzogin von Orleans, BRIEFE.] yet +lived (first year of this Congress); and Regent d'Orleans lived, +intensely interested here as third party:--and a goat-faced +Cardinal, once pimp and lackey, ugliest of created souls, +Archbishop of this same Cambrai "by Divine permission" and +favor of Beelzebub, was capable of promoting a young fellow if +he chose:-- + +"TO HIS EMINENCE CARDINAL DUBOIS (from Arouet Junior). + +"CAMBRAI, July, 1722. + +". . . We are just arrived in your City, Monseigneur; where, I +think, all the Ambassadors and all the Cooks in Europe have given +one another rendezvous. It seems as if all the Ministers of +Germany had assembled here for the purpose of getting their +Emperor's health drunk. As to Messieurs the Ambassadors of Spain, +one of them hears two masses a day, and the other manages the +troop of players. The English Ministers [a LORD POLWARTH and a +LORD WHITWORTH] send many couriers to Champagne, and few to +London. For the rest, nobody expects your Eminence here; it is not +thought you will quit the Palais-Royal to visit the sheep of your +flock in these parts [no!], it would be too bad for your Eminence +and for us all. . . . Think sometimes, Monseigneur, of a man who +[regards your goat-faced Eminence as a beautiful ingenious +creature; and such a hand in conversation as never was). +The one thing I will ask [of your goat-faced Eminence] at Paris +will be, to have the goodness to talk to me." [<italic> OEuvres +de Voltaire, <end italic> 97 vols. (Paris, l825-1834), +lxviii. 95, 96.] + +Alas, alas!--The more despicable portions of this Letter we omit, +as they are not history of the Congress, but of Arouet Junior on +the shady side. So much will testify that this Congress did exist; +that its wiggeries and it were not always, what they now are, part +of a nightmare-vision in Human History.-- + +Elizabeth Farnese, seeing at what rate the Congress of Cambrai +sped, lost all patience with it; and getting more and more +exasperations there, at length employed one Ripperda, a surprising +Dutch Black-Artist whom she now had for Minister, to pull the +floor from beneath it (so to speak), and send it home in that +manner. Which Ripperda did. An appropriate enough catastrophe, +comfortable to the reader; upon which perhaps he will not grudge +to read still another word? + + + CONGRESS OF CAMBRAI GETS THE FLOOR PULLED FROM UNDER IT. + +Termagant Elizabeth had now one Ripperda for Minister; +a surprising Dutch adventurer, once secretary of some Dutch +embassy at Madrid; who, discerning how the land lay, had broken +loose from that subaltern career, had changed his religion, +insinuated himself into Elizabeth's royal favor; and was now "Duke +de Ripperda," and a diplomatic bull-dog of the first quality, full +of mighty schemes and hopes; in brief, a new Alberoni to the +Termagant Queen. This Ripperda had persuaded her (the third year +of our inane Congress now running out, to no purpose), That he, if +he were sent direct to Vienna, could reconcile the Kaiser to her +Majesty, and bring them to Treaty, independently of Congresses. +He was sent accordingly, in all privacy; had reported himself as +laboring there, with the best outlooks, for some while past; +when, still early in 1725, there occurred on the part of France,-- +where Regent d'Orleans was now dead, and new politics bad come in +vogue,--that "sending back," of the poor little Spanish: +Infanta, ["5th April, 1725, quitted Paris" (Barbier, <italic> +Journal du Regne de Louis XV., <end italic> i. 218).] and marrying +of young Louis XV. elsewhere, which drove Elizabeth and the Court +of Spain, not unnaturally, into a very delirium of indignation. + +Why they sent the poor little Lady home on those shocking terms? +It seems there was no particular reason, except that French Louis +was now about fifteen, and little Spanish Theresa was only eight; +and that, under Duc de Bourbon, the new Premier, and none of the +wisest, there was, express or implicit, "an ardent wish to see +royal progeny secured." For which, of course, a wife of eight +years would not answer. So she was returned; and even in a +blundering way, it is said,--the French Ambassador at Madrid +having prefaced his communication, not with light adroit +preludings of speech, but with a tempest of tears and howling +lamentations, as if that were the way to conciliate King Philip +and his Termagant Elizabeth. Transport of indignation was the +natural consequence on their part; order to every Frenchman to be +across the border within, say eight-and-forty hours; rejection +forever of all French mediation at Cambrai or elsewhere; +question to the English, "Will you mediate for us, then?" To which +the answer being merely "Hm!" with looks of delay,--order by +express to Ripperda, to make straightway a bargain with the +Kaiser; almost any bargain, so it were made at once. Ripperda made +a bargain: Treaty of Vienna, 30th April, 1725: [Scholl, ii. 201; +Coxe, <italic> Walpole, <end italic> i. 239-250.] "Titles and +Shadows each of us shall keep for his own lifetime, then they +shall drop. As to realities again, to Parma and Piacenza among the +rest, let these be as in the Treaty of Utrecht; arrangeable in the +lump;--and indeed, of Parma and Piacenza perhaps the less we say, +the better at present." This was, in substance, Ripperda's Treaty; +the Third great European travail-throe, or change of color in the +long-suffering lobster. Whereby, of course, the Congress of +Cambrai did straightway disappear, the floor miraculously +vanishing under it; and sinks--far below human eye-reach by this +time--towards the Bottomless Pool, ever since. Such was the +beginning, such the end of that Congress, which Arouet LE JEUNE, +in 1722, saw as a contemporary Fact, drinking champagne in +Ramillies wigs, and arranging comedies for itself. + + +FRANCE AND THE BRITANNIC MAJESTY TRIM THE SHIP AGAIN: +HOW FRIEDRICH WILHELM CAME INTO IT. TREATY OF HANOVER, 1725. + +The publication of this Treaty of Vienna (30th April, 1725),-- +miraculous disappearance of the Congress of Cambrai by withdrawal +of the floor from under it, and close union of the Courts of Spain +and Vienna as the outcome of its slow labors,--filled Europe, and +chiefly the late mediating Powers, with amazement, anger, terror. +Made Europe lurch suddenly to the other side, as we phrased it,-- +other gunwale now under water. Wherefore, in Heaven's name, trim +your ship again, if possible, ye high mediating Powers. This the +mediating Powers were laudably alert to do. Duc de Bourbon, and +his young King about to marry, were of pacific tendencies; +anxious for the Balance: still more was Fleury, who succeeded +Duc de Bourbon. Cardinal Fleury (with his pupil Louis XV. under +him, producing royal progeny and nothing worse or better as yet) +began, next year, his long supremacy in France; an aged reverend +gentleman, of sly, delicately cunning ways, and disliking war, as +George I. did, unless when forced on him: now and henceforth, no +mediating power more anxious than France to have the ship in trim. + +George and Bourbon laid their heads together, deeply pondering +this little less than awful state of the Terrestrial Balance; +and in about six months they, in their quiet way, suddenly came +out with a Fourth Crisis on the astonished populations, so as to +right the ship's trim again, and more. "Treaty of Hanover," this +was their unexpected manoeuvre; done quietly at Herrenhausen, when +his Majesty next went across for the Hanover hunting-season. +Mere hunting:--but the diplomatists, as well as the beagles, were +all in readiness there. Even Friedrich Wilhelm, ostensibly intent +on hunting, was come over thither, his abstruse Ilgens, with their +inkhorns, escorting him: Friedrich Wilhelm, hunting in unexpected +sort, was persuaded to sign this Treaty; which makes it unusually +interesting to us. An exceptional procedure on the part of +Friedrich Wilhelm, who beyond all Sovereigns stays well at home, +careless of affairs that are not his:--procedure betokening +cordiality at Hanover; and of good omen for the Double-Marriage? + +Yes, surely;--and yet something more, on Friedrich Wilhelm's part. +His rights on the Cleve-Julich Countries; reversion of Julich and +Berg, once Karl Philip shall decease:--perhaps these high Powers, +for a consideration, will guarantee one's undoubted rights there? +It is understood they gave promises of this kind, not too +specific. Nay we hear farther a curious thing: "France and +England, looking for immediate war with the Kaiser, advised +Friedrich Wilhelm to assert his rights on Silesia." Which would +have been an important procedure! Friedrich Wilhelm, it is added, +had actual thoughts of it; the Kaiser, in those matters of the +RITTER-DIENST, of the HEIDELBERG PROTESTANTS, and wherever a +chance was, had been unfriendly, little less than insulting, to +Friedrich Wilhelm: "Give me one single Hanoverian brigade, to show +that you go along with me!" said his Prussian Majesty;--but the +Britannic never altogether would. [<italic> OEuvres de Frederic, +<end italic> i. 153.] Certain it is, Friedrich Wilhelm signed: +a man with such Fighting-Apparatus as to be important in a Hanover +Treaty. "Balance of Power, they tell me, is in a dreadful way: +certainly if one can help the Balance a little, why not? +But Julich and Berg, one's own outlook of reversion there, that +is the point to be attended to:--Balance, I believe, will somehow +shift for itself!" On these principles, Friedrich Wilhelm signed, +while ostensibly hunting. [Fassmann, p. 368; Forster, <italic> +Urkundenbuch, <end italic> p. 67.] Treaty of Hanover, which was to +trim the ship again, or even to make it heel the other way, dates +itself 3d September, 1725, and is of this purport: "We three, +France, England, Prussia to stand by each other as one man, in +case any of us is attacked,--will invite Holland, Denmark, Sweden +and every pacific Sovereignty to join us in such convention,"-- +as they all gradually did, had Friedrich Wilhelm but stood firm. + +For it is a state of the Balances little less than awful. +Rumor goes that, by the Ripperda bargain, fatal to mankind, Don +Carlos was to get the beautiful young Maria Theresa to wife: +that would settle the Parma-Piacenza business and some others; +that would be a compensation with a witness! Spain and Austria +united, as in Karl V.'s time; or perhaps some Succession War, or +worse, to fight over again!-- + +Fleury and George, as Duc de Bourbon and George had done, though +both pacific gentlemen, brandished weapons at the Kaiser; strongly +admonishing him to become less formidable, or it would be worse +for him. Possible indeed, in such a shadow-hunting, shadow-hunted +hour! Fleury and George stand looking with intense anxiety into a +certain spectral something, which they call the Balance of Power; +no end to their exorcisms in that matter. Truly, if each of the +Royal Majesties and Serene Highnesses would attend to his own +affairs,--doing his utmost to better his own land and people, in +earthly and in heavenly respects, a little,--he would find it +infinitely profitabler for himself and others. And the Balance of +Power would settle, in that case, as the laws of gravity ordered: +which is its one method of settling, after all diplomacy!--Fleury +and George, by their manifestoing, still more by their levying of +men, George I. shovelling out his English subsidies as usual, +created deadly qualms in the Kaiser; who still found it unpleasant +to "admit Spanish Garrisons in Parma;" but found likewise his +Termagant Friend inexorably positive on that score; and knew not +what would become of him, if he had to try fighting, and the +Sea-Powers refused him cash to do it. + +Hereby was the ship trimmed, and more; ship now lurching to the +other side again. George I. goes subsidying Hessians, Danes; +sounding manifestoes, beating drums, in an alarming manner: +and the Kaiser, except it were in Russia, with the new Czarina +Catherine I. (that brown little woman, now become Czarina [8th +February, 1725. Treaty with Kaiser (6th August, 1726) went to +nothing on her death, 11th May, 1727.]), finds no ally to speak +of. An unlucky, spectre-hunting, spectre-hunted Kaiser; who, amid +so many drums, manifestoes, menaces, is now rolling eyes that +witness everywhere considerable dismay. This is the Fourth grand +Crisis of Europe; crisis or travail-throe of Nature, bringing +forth, and unable to do it, Baby Carlos's Apanage and the +Pragmatic Sanction. Fourth conspicuous change of color to the +universal lobster, getting itself boiled on those sad terms, for +twenty years. For its sins, we need not doubt; for its own +long-continued cowardices, sloths and greedy follies, as well as +those of Kaiser Karl!-- + +At this Fourth change we will gladly leave the matter, for a time; +much wishing it might be forever. Alas, as if that were possible +to us! Meanwhile, let afflicted readers, looking before and after, +readier to forget than to remember in such a case, accept this +Note, or Summary of all the Seven together, by way of help:-- + + +TRAVAIL-THROES OF NATURE FOR BABY CARLOS'S ITALIAN APANAGE; +SEVEN IN NUMBER. + + l. Triple Alliance, English, Dutch, French (4th January, 1717), +saying, "Peace, then! No Alberoni-plotting; no Duel-fighting +permitted!" Same Powers, next year, proposing Terms of Agreement; +Kaiser gloomily accepting them; which makes it Quadruple Alliance +(18th July, 1718); Termagant indignantly refusing,--with attack on +the Kaiser's Sicilies. + 2. First Sputter of War; Byng's Sea-fight, and the other +pressures, compelling Termagant: Peace (26th January, 1720); +Congress of Cambrai to settle the Apanage and other points. + 3. Congress of Cambrai, a weariness to gods and men, gets the +floor pulled from under it (Ripperda's feat, 30th April, 1725); +so that Kaiser and Termagant stand ranked together, Apanage wrapt +in mystery,--to the terror of mankind. + 4. Treaty of Hanover (France, England, Prussia, 3d September, +1725) restores the Balances, and more. War imminent. +Prussia privately falls off,--as we shall see. + +[These first Four lie behind us, at this point; but there are +Three others still ahead, which we cannot hope to escape +altogether; namely:] + + 5. Second Sputter of War: Termagant besieges Gibraltar (4th +March, 1727--6th March, 1728): Peace at that latter date;-- +Congress of Soissons to settle the Apanage and other points, as +formerly. + 6. Congress of Soissons (14th June, 1728--9th November, 1729), +as formerly, cannot in the least: Termagaut whispers England;-- +there is Treaty of Seville (9th November, 1729), France and +England undertaking for the Apanage. Congress vanishes; Kaiser is +left solitary, with the shadow of Pragmatic Sanction, in the night +of things. Pause of an awful nature:--but Fleury does not hasten +with the Apanage, as promised. Whereupon, at length, + 7. Treaty of Vienna (16th March, 1731): Sea-Powers, leading +Termagant by the hand, Sea-Powers and no France, unite with Kaiser +again, according to the old laws of Nature;--and Baby Carlos gets +his Apanage, in due course;--but does not rest content with it, +Mamma nor he, very long! + +Huge spectres and absurd bugaboos, stalking through the brain of +dull thoughtless pusillanimous mankind, do, to a terrible extent, +tumble hither and thither, and cause to lurch from side to side, +their ship of state, and all that is embarked there, +BREAKFAST-TABLE, among other things. Nevertheless, if they were +only bugaboos, and mere Shadows caused by Imperial hand-lanterns +in the general Night of the world,--ought they to be spoken of in +the family, when avoidable? + + + +Chapter IV. + +DOUBLE-MARRIAGE TREATY CANNOT BE SIGNED. + +Hitherto the world-tides, and ebbs and flows of external Politics, +had, by accident, rather forwarded, than hindered the +Double-Marriage. In the rear of such a Treaty of Hanover, +triumphantly righting the European Balances by help of Friedrich +Wilhelm, one might have hoped this little domestic Treaty would, +at last, get itself signed. Queen Sophie did hasten off to +Hanover, directly after her husband had left it under those +favorable aspects: but Papa again proved unmanageable; the Treaty +could not be achieved. + +Alas, and why not? Parents and Children, on both sides, being +really desirous of it, what reason is there but it should in due +time come to perfection, and, without annihilating Time and Space, +make four lovers happy? No reason. Rubs doubtless had arisen since +that Visit of George I., discordant procedures, chiefly about +Friedrich Wilhelm's recruiting operations in the Hanover +territory, as shall be noted by and by: but these the ever-wakeful +enthusiasm of Queen Sophie, who had set her whole heart with a +female fixity on this Double-Marriage Project, had smoothed down +again: and now, Papa and Husband being so blessedly united in +their World Politics, why not sign the Marriage-Treaty? +Honored Majesty-Papa, why not!--"Tush, child, you do not +understand. In these tremendous circumstances, the celestial Sign +of the BALANCE just about canting, and the Obliquity of the +Ecliptic like to alter, how can one think of little marriages? +Wait till the Obliquity of the Ecliptic come steadily to its +old pitch!"-- + +Truth is, George was in general of a slow, solemn, Spanish turn of +manners; "intolerably proud, too, since he got that English +dignity," says Wilhelmina: he seemed always tacitly to look down +on Friedrich Wilhelm, as if the Prussian Majesty were a kind of +inferior clownish King in comparison. It is certain he showed no +eagerness to get the Treaty perfected. Again and again, when +specially applied to by Queen Sophie, on Friedrich Wilhelm's +order, he intimated only: "It was a fixed thing, but not to be +hurried,--English Parliaments were concerned in it, the parties +were still young," and so on;--after which brief answer he would +take you to the window, and ask, "If you did not think the +Herrenhausen Gardens and their Leibnitz waterworks, and +clipped-beech walls were rather fine?" [Pollnitz, <italic> +Memoiren, <end italic> ii. 226, 228, &c.] + +In fact, the English Parliaments, from whom money was so often +demanded for our fat Improper Darlingtons, lean Improper Kendals +and other royal occasions, would naturally have to make a +marriage-revenue for this fine Grandson of ours;--Grandson Fred, +who is now a young lout of, eighteen; leading an extremely +dissolute life, they say, at Hanover; and by no means the most +beautiful of mortals, either he or the foolish little Father of +him, to our old sad heart. They can wait, they can wait! said +George always. + +But undoubtedly he did intend that both Marriages should take +effect: only he was slow; and the more you hurried him, perhaps +the slower. He would have perfected the Treaty "next year," say +the Authorities; meant to do so, if well let alone: but Townshend +whispered withal, "Better not urge him." Surly George was always a +man of his word; no treachery intended by him, towards Friedrich +Wilhelm or any man. It is very clear, moreover, that Friedrich +Wilhelm, in this Autumn 1725, was, and was like to be, of high +importance to King George; a man not to be angered by dishonorable +treatment, had such otherwise been likely on George's part. +Nevertheless George did not sign the Treaty "next year" either,-- +such things having intervened;--nor the next year after that, for +reasons tragically good on the latter occasion! + +These delays about the Double-Marriage Treaty are not a pleasing +feature of it to Friedrich Wilhelm; who is very capable of being +hurt by slights; who, at any rate, dislikes to have loose thrums +flying about, or that the business of to-day should be shoved over +upon to-morrow. And so Queen Sophie has her own sore difficulties; +driven thus between the Barbarians (that is, her Husband), and the +deep Sea (that is, her Father), to and fro. Nevertheless, since +all parties to the matter wished it, Sophie and the younger +parties getting even enthusiastic about it; and since the matter +itself was good, agreeable so far to Prussia and England, to +Protestant Germany and to Heaven and Earth,--might not Sophie +confidently hope to vanquish these and other difficulties; and so +bring all things to a happy close? + +Had it not been for the Imperial Shadow-huntings, and this rickety +condition of the celestial Balance! Alas, the outer elements +interfered with Queen Sophie in a singular manner. Huge foreign +world-movements, springing from Vienna and a spectre-haunted +Kaiser, and spreading like an avalanche over all the Earth, +snatched up this little Double-Marriage question; tore it along +with them, reeling over precipices, one knew not whitherward, at +such a rate as was seldom seen before. Scarcely in the Minerva +Press is there record of such surprising, infinite and +inextricable obstructions to a wedding or a double-wedding. +Time and space, which cannot be annihilated to make two lovers +happy, were here turned topsy-turvy, as it were, to make four +lovers,--four, or at the very least three, for Wilhelmina will not +admit she was ever the least in love, not she, poor soul, either +with loose Fred or his English outlooks,--four young creatures, +and one or more elderly persons, superlatively wretched; +and even, literally enough, to do all but kill some of them. + +What is noteworthy too, it proved wholly inane, this huge +world-ocean of Intrigues and Imperial Necromancy; ran dry at last +into absolute nothing even for the Kaiser, and might as well not +have been. And Mother and Father, on the Prussian side, were +driven to despair and pretty nearly to delirium by it; and our +poor young Fritz got tormented, scourged, and throttled in body +and in soul by it, till he grew to loathe the light of the sun, +and in fact looked soon to have quitted said light at one stage of +the business. + +We are now approaching Act Second of the Double-Marriage, where +Imperial Ordnance-Master Graf von Seckendorf, a Black-Artist of +supreme quality, despatched from Vienna on secret errand, "crosses +the Palace Esplanade at Berlin on a summer evening of the year +1726;" and evokes all the demons on our little Crown-Prince and +those dear to him. We must first say something of an important +step, shortly antecedent thereto, which occurred in the +Crown-Prince's educational course. + + + +Chapter V. + +CROWN-PRINCE GOES INTO THE POTSDAM GUARDS. + +Amid such commotion of the foreign elements and the domestic, an +important change occurs in the Crown-Prince's course of schooling. +It is decided that, whatever be his progress in the speculative +branches, it is time he should go into the Army, and practically +learn soldiering. In his fourteenth year, 3d May, 1725, [Preuss, +i. 26; 106; and <italic> Buch fur Jedermann <end italic> (a minor +book of his, on the same subject, Berlin, 1837), ii. 13.] not long +before the Treaty of Hanover, he was formally named Captain, by +Papa in War-council. Grenadier Guards, Potsdam Lifeguards, to be +the regiment; and next year he is nominated Major, and, a vacancy +occurring, appointed to begin actual duty. It is on the "20th of +August, 1726, that he flrat leads out his battalion to the +muster," on those terms. His age is not yet fifteen by four +months;--a very tiny Major among those Potsdam giants; but by +rank, we observe, he rides; and his horse is doubtless of the due +height. And so the tiny Cadet-drillinga have ended; long Files of +Giants, splendent in gold-lace and grenadier-caps, have succeeded; +and earnest work instead of mimic, in that matter, has begun. + +However it may have fared with his other school-lessons, here now +is a school-form he is advanced to, in which there will be no +resource but learning. Bad spelling might be overlooked by those +that had charge of it; bad drilling is not permissible on any +terms. We need not doubt the Crown-Prince did his soldier-duty +faithfully, and learned in every point the conduct of an officer: +penalty as of Rhadamanthus waited upon all failure there. That he +liked it is by no means said; he much disliked it, and his +disgusts were many. An airy young creature:--and it was in this +time to give one instance, that that shearing of his locks +occurred: which was spoken of above, where the Court-Chirurgus +proved so merciful. To clog the winged Psyche in ever-returning +parade-routine and military pipe-clay,--it seems very cruel. +But it is not to be altered: in spite of one's disgusts, the dull +work, to the last item of it, has daily to be done. Which proved +infinitely beneficial to the Crown-Prince, after all. Hereby, to +his Athenian-French elegancies, and airy promptitudes and +brilliancies, there shall lie as basis an adamantine Spartanism +and Stoicism; very rare, but very indispensable, for such a +superstructure. Well exemplified, through after life, in +this Crown-Prince. + + +OF THE POTSDAM GIANTS, AS A FACT. + +His regiment was the Potsdam Grenadier Guard; that unique +giant-regiment, of which the world has heard so much in a vague +half-mythical way. The giant-regiment was not a Myth, however, but +a big-boned expensive Fact, tramping very hard upon the earth at +one time, though now gone all to the ghostly state. As it was a +CLASS-BOOK, so to speak, of our Friedrich's,--Class-Book (printed +in huge type) for a certain branch of his schooling, the details +of which are so dim, though the general outcome of it proved so +unforgettable,--readers, apart from their curiosity otherwise, may +as well take a glimpse of it on this occasion. Vanished now, +and grown a Giant Phantom, the like of it hardly again to be in +this world; and by accident, the very smallest Figure ever ranked +in it makes it memorable there!-- + +With a wise instinct, Friedrich Wilhelm had discerned that all +things in Prussia must point towards his Army; that his Army was +the heart and pith; the State being the tree, every branch and +leaf bound, after its sort, to be nutritive and productive for the +Army's behoof. That, probably for any Nation in the long-run, and +certainly for the Prussian Nation straightway, life or death +depends on the Army: Friedrich Wilhelm's head, in an inarticulate +manner, was full of this just notion; and all his life was spent +in organizing it to a practical fact. The more of potential +battle, the more of life is in us: a MAXIMUM of potential battle, +therefore; and let it be the OPTIMUM in quality! How Friedrich +Wilhelm cared, day and night, with all his heart and all his soul, +to bring his Army to the supreme pitch, we have often heard; +and the more we look into his ways, the more we are impressed with +that fact. It was the central thing for him; all other things +circulating towards it, deriving from it: no labor too great, and +none too little, to be undergone for such an object. He watched +over it like an Argus, with eyes that reached everywhere. +Discipline shall be as exact as Euclid;--short of perfection we do +not stop! Discipline and ever better discipline; enforcement of +the rule in all points, improvement of the rule itself where +possible, were the great Drill-sergeant's continual care. +Daily had some loop fallen, which might have gone ravelling far +enough; but daily was he there to pick it up again, and keep the +web unrent and solidly progressive. + +We said, it was the "poetic ideal" of Friedrich Wilhelm; who is a +dumb poet in several particulars,--and requires the privileges of +genius from those that READ his dumb poem. It must be owned he +rises into the fantastic here and there; and has crotchets of +ultraperfection for his Army, which are not rational at all. +Crotchets that grew ever madder, the farther he followed them. +This Lifeguard Regiment of foot, for instance, in which the +Crown-Prince now is,--Friedrich Wilhelm got it in his Father's +time, no doubt a regiment then of fair qualities; and he has kept +drilling it, improving it, as poets polish stanzas, unweariedly +ever since:--and see now what it has grown to! A Potsdam Giant +Regiment, such as the world never saw, before or since. +Three Battalions of them,--two always here at Potsdam doing formal +lifeguard duty, the third at Brandenburg on drill; 800 to the +Battalion,--2,400 sons of Anak in all. Sublime enough, hugely +perfect to the royal eye, such a mass of shining giants, in their +long-drawn regularities and mathematical manoeuvrings,--like some +streak of Promethean lightning, realized here at last, in the +vulgar dusk of things! + +Truly they are men supreme in discipline, in beauty of equipment; +and the shortest man of them rises, I think, towards seven feet, +some are nearly nine feet high. Men from all countries; a hundred +and odd come annually, as we saw, from Russia,--a very precious +windfall: the rest have been collected, crimped, purchased out of +every European country, at enormous expense, not to speak of other +trouble to his Majesty. James Kirkman, an Irish recruit of good +inches, cost him 1,200 pounds before he could be got inveigled, +shipped and brought safe to hand. The documents are yet in +existence; [Forster, <italic> Handbuch der Geschichte, Geographie +und Statistik des Preussischen Reichs <end italic> (Berlin, 1820), +iv. 130, 132;--not in a very lucid state.] and the Portrait of +this Irish fellow-citizen himself, who is by no means a beautiful +man. Indeed, they are all portrayed; all the privates of this +distinguished Regiment are, if anybody cared to look at them-- +Redivanoff from Moscow" seems of far better bone than Kirkman, +though still more stolid of aspect. One Hohmann, a born Prussian, +was so tall, you could not, though yourself tall, touch his bare +crown with your hand; August the Strong of Poland tried, on one +occasion, and could not. Before Hohmann turned up, there had been +"Jonas the Norwegian Blacksmith,", also a dreadfully tall monster. +Giant "Macdoll,"--who was to be married, no consent asked on +EITHER side, to the tall young woman, which latter turned out to +be a decrepit OLD woman (all Jest-Books know the myth),--he also +was an Irish Giant; his name probably M'Dowal. [Forster, <italic> +Preussens Helden im Krieg und Frieden <end italic> (Berlin, l848), +i. 531; no date to the story, no evidence what grain of truth may +be in it.] This Hohmann was now FLUGELMANN ("fugleman" as we have +named it, leader of the file), the Tallest of the Regiment, a very +mountain of pipe-clayed flesh and bone. + +Here, in reference to one other of those poor Giants, is an +Anecdote from Fassmann (who is very full on this subject of the +Giants; abstruse Historical Fassmann, often painfully cited by +us): a most small Anecdote, but then an indisputably certain one; +--which brings back to us, in a strange way, the vanished Time and +its populations; as the poorest authentic wooden lucifer may do, +kindling suddenly, and' peopling the void Night for moments, to +the seeing eye!-- + +Fassmann, a very dark German literary man, in obsolete costume and +garniture, how living or what doing we cannot guess, found himself +at Paris, gazing about, in the year 1713; where, among other +things, the Fair of St. Germain was going on. Loud, large Fair of +St. Germain, "which lasts from Candlemas to the Monday before +Easter;" and Fassmann one day took a walk of contemplation through +the same. Much noise, gesticulation, little meaning. Show-booths, +temporary theatres, merry-andrews, sleight-of-hand men; and a vast +public, drinking, dancing, gambling, flirting, as its wont is. +Nothing new for us there; new only that it all lies five +generations from us now. Did "the Old Pretender," who was then in +his expectant period, in this same village of St. Germain, see it +too, as Fassmann did? And Louis XIV., he is at Versailles; +drooping fast, very dull to his Maintenon. And our little Fritz in +Berlin is a child in arms;--and the world is all awake as usual, +while Fassmann strolls through this noisy inanity of show-booths, +in the year 1713. + +Strolling along, Fassmann came upon a certain booth with an +enormous Picture hung aloft in front of it: "Picture of a very +tall man, in HEYDUC livery, coat reaching to his ankles, in grand +peruke, cap and big heron-plume, with these words, 'LE GEANT +ALLEMAND (German Giant),' written underneath. Partly from +curiosity, partly "for country's sake," Fassmann expended +twopence; viewed the gigantic fellow-creature; admits he had never +seen one so tall; though "Bentenrieder, the Imperial Diplomatist," +thought by some to be the tallest of men, had come athwart him +once. This giant's name was Muller; birthplace the neighborhood of +Weissenfels;--"a Saxon like myself. He had a small German Wife, +not half his size. He made money readily, showing himself about, +in France, England, Holland;"--and Fassmann went his way, thinking +no more of the fellow.--But now, continues Fassmann:-- + +"Coming to Potsdam, thirteen years after, in the spring of 1726, +by his Majesty's order, to"--in fact, to read the Newspapers to +his Majesty, and be generally useful, chiefly in the +Tobacco-College, as we shall discover,--"what was my surprise to +find this same 'GEANT ALLEMAND' of St. Germain ranked among the +King's Grenadiers! No doubt of the identity: I renewed +acquaintance with the man; his little German Wife was dead; +but he had got an English one instead, an uncommonly shifty +creature. They had a neat little dwelling-house [as most of the +married giants had], near the Palace: here the Wife sold beer +[brandy not permissible on any terms], and lodged travellers;-- +I myself have lodged there on occasion. In the course of some +years, the man took swelling in the legs; good for nothing as a +grenadier; and was like to fall heavy on society. But no, his +little Wife snatched him up, easily getting his discharge; +carried him over with her to England, where he again became a +show-giant, and they were doing very well, when last heard of,"-- +in the Country-Wakes of George II.'s early time. And that is the +real Biography of one Potsdam Giant, by a literary gentleman who +had lodged with him on occasion. [Fassmann, pp. 723-730.] + +The pay of these sublime Footguards is greatly higher than common; +they have distinguished privileges and treatment: on the other +hand, their discipline is nonpareil, and discharge is never to be +dreamt of, while strength lasts. Poor Kirkman, does he sometimes +think of the Hill of Howth, and that he will never see it more? +Kirkman, I judge, is not given to thought;--considers that he has +tobacco here, and privileges and perquisites; and that Howth, and +Heaven itself, is inaccessible to many a man. + + +FRIEDRICH WILHELM'S RECRUITING DIFFICULTIES. + +Tall men, not for this regiment only, had become a necessary of +life to Friedrich Wilhelm. Indispensable to him almost as his +daily bread, To his heart there is no road so ready as that of +presenting a tall man or two. Friedrich Wilhelm's regiments are +now, by his exact new regulations, levied and recruited each in +its own Canton, or specific district: there all males as soon as +born are enrolled; liable to serve, when they have grown to years +and strength. All grown men (under certain exceptions, as of a +widow's eldest son, or of the like evidently ruinous cases) are +liable to serve; Captain of the Regiment and AMTMANN of the Canton +settle between them which grown man it shall be. Better for you +not to be tall! In fact it is almost a kindness of Heaven to be +gifted with some safe impediment of body, slightly crooked back or +the like, if you much dislike the career of honor under Friedrich +Wilhelm. A general shadow of unquiet apprehension we can well +fancy hanging over those rural populations, and much unpleasant +haggling now and then;--nothing but the King's justice that can be +appealed to. King's justice, very great indeed, but heavily +checked by the King's value for handsome soldiers. + +Happily his value for industrial laborers and increase of +population is likewise great. Townsfolk, skilful workmen as the +theory supposes, are exempt; the more ingenious classes, +generally, his Majesty exempts in this respect, to encourage them +in others. For, on the whole, he is not less a Captain of Work, to +his Nation, than of other things. What he did for Prussia in the +way of industries, improvements, new manufactures, new methods; +in settling "colonies," tearing up drowned bogs and subduing them +into dry cornfields; in building, draining, digging, and +encouraging or forcing others to do so, would take a long chapter. +He is the enemy of Chaos, not the friend of it, wherever you meet +with him. + +For example, Potsdam itself. Potsdam, now a pleasant, grassy, +leafy place, branching out extensively in fine stone architecture, +with swept pavements; where, as in other places, the traveller +finds land and water separated into two firmaments,--Friedrich +Wilhelm found much of it a quagmire, land and water still +weltering in one. In these very years, his cuttings, embankments, +buildings, pile-drivings there, are enormous; and his perseverance +needs to be invincible. For instance, looking out, one morning +after heavy rain, upon some extensive anti-quagmire operations and +strong pile-drivings, he finds half a furlong of his latest heavy +piling clean gone. What in the world has become of it? Pooh, the +swollen lake has burst it topsy-turvy; and it floats yonder, +bottom uppermost, a half-furlong of distracted liquid-peat. +Whereat his Majesty gave a loud laugh, says Bielfeld, [Baron de +Bielfeld, <italic> Lettres Familieres <end italic> (second +edition, a Leide, 1767), i. 31.] and commenced anew. The piles now +stand firm enough, like the rest of the Earth's crust, and carry +strong ashlar houses and umbrageous trees for mankind; and trivial +mankind can walk in clean pumps there, shuddering or sniggering at +Friedrich Wilhelm, as their humor may be. + +No danger of this "Canton-system" of recruitment to the more +ingenious classes, who could do better than learn drill. Nor, to +say truth, does the poor clayey peasant suffer from it, according +to his apprehensions. Often perhaps, could he count profit and +loss, he might find himself a gainer: the career of honor turns +out to be, at least, a career of practical Stoicism and +Spartanism; useful to any peasant or to any prince. Cleanliness, +of person and even of mind; fixed rigor of method, sobriety, +frugality, these are virtues worth acquiring. Sobriety in the +matter of drink is much attended to here: his Majesty permits no +distillation of strong-waters in Potsdam, or within so many miles; +[Fassmann, p. 728.] nor is sale of such allowed, except in the +most intensely select manner. The soldier's pay is in the highest +degree exiguous; not above three halfpence a day, for a common +foot-soldier, in addition to what rations he has:--but it is found +adequate to its purpose, too; supports the soldier in sound +health, vigorously fit for his work; into which points his Majesty +looks with his own eyes, and will admit no dubiety. Often, too, if +not already OFTENEST (as it ultimately grew to be), the +peasant-soldier gets home for many months of the year, a +soldier-ploughman; and labors for his living in the old way. +His Captain (it is one of the Captain's perquisites, who is +generally a veteran of fifty, with a long Spartan training, before +he gets so high) pockets the pay of all these furloughs, +supernumerary to the real work of the regiment;--and has certain +important furnishings to yield in return. + +At any rate, enrolment, in time of peace, cannot fall on many: +three or four recruits in the year, to replace vacancies, will +carry the Canton through its crisis. For we are to note withal, +the third part of every regiment can, and should by rule, consist +of "foreigners,"--men not born Prussians. These are generally men +levied in the Imperial Free-towns; "in the REICH" or Empire, as +they term it; that is to say, or is mainly to say, in the +countries of Germany that are not Austrian or Prussian. For this +foreign third-part too, the recruits must be got; excuses not +admissible for Captain or Colonel; nothing but recruits of the due +inches will do. Captain and Colonel (supporting their enterprise +on frugal adequate "perquisites," hinted of above) have to be on +the outlook; vigilantly, eagerly; and must contrive to get them. +Nay, we can take supernumerary recruits; and have in fact always +on hand, attached to each regiment, a stock of such. Any number of +recruits, that stand well on their legs, are welcome; and for a +tall man there is joyin Potsdam, almost as if he were a wise man +or a good man. + +The consequence is, all countries, especially all German +countries, are infested with a new species of predatory +two-legged animals: Prussian recruiters. They glide about, under +disguise if necessary; lynx-eyed, eager almost as the Jesuit +hounds are; not hunting the souls of men, as the spiritual Jesuits +do, but their bodies in a merciless carnivorous manner. Better not +to be too tall, in any country, at present! Irish Kirkman could +not be protected by the aegis of the British Constitution itself. +In general, however, the Prussian recruiter, on British ground, +reports, That the people are too well off, that there is little to +be done in those parts. A tall British sailor, if we pick him up +strolling about Memel or the Baltic ports, is inexorably claimed +by the Diplomatists; no business do-able till after restoration of +him; and he proves a mere loss to us. [Despatches in the +State-Paper Office.] Germany, Holland, Switzerland, the +Netherlands, these are the fruitful fields for us, and there we do +hunt with some vigor. + +For example, in the town of Julich there lived and worked a tall +young carpenter: one day a well-dressed positive-looking gentleman +("Baron von Hompesch," the records name him) enters the shop; +wants "a stout chest, with lock on it, for household purposes; +must be of such and such dimensions, six feet six in length +especially, and that is an indispensable point,--in fact it will +be longer than yourself, I think, Herr Zimmermann: what is the +cost; when can it be ready?" Cost, time, and the rest are settled. +"A right stout chest, then; and see you don't forget the size; +if too short, it will be of no use to me: mind;"--"JA WOHL! +GEWISS!" And the positive-looking, well-clad gentleman goes his +ways. At the appointed day he reappears; the chest is ready;-- +we hope, an unexceptionable article? "Too short, as I dreaded!" +says the positive gentleman. "Nay, your honor," says the +carpenter, "I am certain it is six feet six!" and takes out his +foot-rule.--"Pshaw, it was to be longer than yourself." "Well, it +is."--"No it isn't!" The carpenter, to end the matter, gets into +his chest; and will convince any and all mortals. No sooner is he +in, rightly flat, than the positive gentleman, a Prussian +recruiting officer in disguise, slams down the lid upon him; +locks it; whistles in three stout fellows, who pick up the chest, +gravely walk through the streets with it, open it in a safe place; +and find-horrible to relate--the poor carpenter dead; choked by +want of air in this frightful middle-passage of his. [Forster, +ii. 305, 306; Pollnitz, ii. 518, 519.] Name of the Town is given, +Julich as above; date not. And if the thing had been only a +popular Myth, is it not a significant one? But it is too true; +the tall carpenter lay dead, and Hompesch got "imprisoned for +life" by the business. + +Burgermeisters of small towns have been carried off; in one case, +"a rich merchant in Magdeburg," whom it cost a large sum to get +free again. [Stenzel, iii. 356.] Prussian recruiters hover about +barracks, parade-grounds, in Foreign Countries; and if they see a +tall soldier (the Dutch have had instances, and are indignant at +them), will persuade him to desert,--to make for the country where +soldier-merit is understood, and a tall fellow of parts will get +his pair of colors in no-time. + +But the highest stretch of their art was probably that done on the +Austrian Ambassador,--tall Herr von Bentenrieder; tallest of +Diplomatists; whom Fassmann, till the Fair of St. Germain, had +considered the tallest of men. Bentenrieder was on his road as +Kaiser's Ambassador to George I., in those Congress-of-Cambrai +times; serenely journeying on; when, near by Halberstadt, his +carriage broke. Carriage takes some time in mending; the tall +Diplomatic Herr walks on, will stretch his long legs, catch a +glimpse of the Town withal, till they get it ready again. And now, +at some Guard-house of the place, a Prussian Officer inquires, not +too reverently of a nobleman without carriage, "Who are you?" +"Well," answered he smiling, "I am BOTSCHAFTER (Message-bearer) +from his Imperial Majesty. And who may you be that ask?"--"To the +Guard-house with us!" Whither he is marched accordingly. "Kaiser's +messenger, why not?" Being a most tall handsome man, this Kaiser's +BOTSCHAFTER, striding along on foot here, the Guard-house +Officials have decided to keep him, to teach him Prussian +drill-exercise;--and are thrown into a singular quandary, when his +valets and suite come up, full of alarm dissolving into joy, and +call him "Excellenz!" [Pollnitz, ii. 207-209.] + +Tall Herr von Bentenrieder accepted the prostrate apology of these +Guard-house Officials. But he naturally spoke of the matter to +George I.; whose patience, often fretted by complaints on that +head, seems to have taken fire at this transcendent instance of +Prussian insolency. In consequence of this adventure, he +commenced, says Pollnitz, a system of decisive measures; +of reprisals even, and of altogether peremptory, minatory +procedures, to clear Hanover of this nuisance; and to make it +cease, in very fact, and not in promise and profession merely. +These were the first rubs Queen Sophie met with, in pushing on the +Double-Marriage; and sore rubs they were, though she at last got +over them. Coming on the back of that fine Charlottenburg Visit, +almost within year and day, and directly in the teeth of such +friendly aspects and prospects, this conduct on the part of his +Britannic Majesty much grieved and angered Friedrich Wilhelm; +and in fact involved him in considerable practical troubles. + +For it was the signal of a similar set of loud complaints, and +menacing remonstrances (with little twinges of fulfilment here and +there) from all quarters of Germany; a tempest of trouble and +public indignation rising everywhere, and raining in upon +Friedrich Wilhelm and this unfortunate Hobby of his. No riding of +one's poor Hobby in peaoe henceforth. Friedrich Wilhelm always +answered, what was only superficially the fact, That HE knew +nothing of these violences and acts of ill-neighborship; he, a +just King, was sorrier than any man to hear of them; and would +give immediate order that they should end. But they always went on +again, much the same; and never did end. I am sorry a just King, +led astray by his Hobby, answers thus what is only superficially +the fact. But it seems he cannot help it: his Hobby is too strong +for him; regardless of curb and bridle in this instance. Let us +pity a man of genius, mounted on so ungovernable a Hobby; +leaping the barriers, in spite of his best resolutions. +Perhaps the poetic temperament is more liable to such morbid +biases, influxes of imaginative crotchet, and mere folly that +cannot he cured? Friedrich Wilhelm never would or could dismount +from his Hobby: but he rode him under much sorrow henceforth; +under showers of anger and ridicule;--contumelious words and +procedures, as it were SAXA ET FAECES, battering round him, +to a heavy extent; the rider a victim of Tragedy and Farce both +at once. + + +QUEEN SOPHIE'S TROUBLES: GRUMKOW WITH THE OLD DESSAUER, +AND GRUMKOW WITHOUT HIM. + +Queen Sophie had, by delicate management, got over those first +rubs, aud arrived at a Treaty of Hanover, and clear ground again; +far worse rubs lay ahead; but smooth travelling, towards such a +goal, was not possible for this Queen. Poor Lady, her Court, as we +discern from Wilhelmina and the Books, is a sad welter of +intrigues, suspicions; of treacherous chambermaids, head-valets, +pickthank scouts of official gentlemen and others striving to +supplant one another. Satan's Invisible World very busy against +Queen Sophie! Under any terms, much more under those of the +Double-Marriage, her place in a kindly but suspicious Husband's +favor was difficult to maintain. Restless aspirants, climbing this +way or that, by ladder-steps discoverable in this abstruse +element, are never wanting, and have the due eavesdropping +satellites, now here, now there. Queen Sophie and her party have +to walk warily, as if among precipices and pitfalls. Of all which +wide welter of extinct contemptibilities, then and there so +important, here and now become minus quantities, we again notice +the existence, but can undertake no study or specification +whatever. Two Incidents, the latter of them dating near the point +where we now are, will sufficiently instruct the reader what a +welter this was, in which Queen Sophie and her bright little Son, +the new Major of the Potsdam Giants, had to pass their existence. + +Incident First fell out some six years ago or more,--in 1719, year +of the Heidelberg Protestants, of Clement the Forger, when his +Majesty "slept for weeks with a pistol under his pillow," and had +other troubles. His Majesty, on one of his journeys, which were +always many, was taken suddenly ill at Brandenburg, that year: +so violently ill, that thinking himself about to die, he sent for +his good Queen, and made a Will appointing her Regent in case of +his decease. His Majesty quite recovered before long. But Grumkow +and the old Dessauer, main aspirants; getting wind of this Will, +and hunting out the truth of it,--what a puddling of the waters +these two made in consequence; stirring up mire and dirt round the +good Queen, finding she had been preferred to them! [Wilhelmina, +i. 26, 29.] Nay Wilhelmina, in her wild way, believes they had, +not long after, planned to "fire a Theatre" about the King, one +afternoon, in Berlin City, and take his life, thereby securing for +themselves such benefit in prospect as there might be! Not a doubt +of it, thinks Wilhelmina: "The young Margraf, [Born 1700 (see +vol. v. p. 393.] our precious Cousin, of Schwedt, is not he +Sister's-son of that Old Dessauer? Grandson of the Great Elector, +even as Papa is. Papa once killed (and our poor Crown-Prince also +made away with),--that young Margraf, and his blue Fox-tiger of an +Uncle over him, is King in Prussia! Obviously they meant to burn +that Theatre, and kill Papa!" This is Wilhelmina's distracted +belief; as, doubtless, it was her Mother's on the day in question: +a jealous, much-suffering, transcendently exasperated Mother, as +we see. + +Incident Second shows us those, two rough Gentlemen fallen out of +partnership, into open quarrel and even duel. "Duel at the +Copenick Gate," much noised of in the dull old Prussian Books,-- +though always in a reserved manner; not even the DATE, as if that +were dangerous, being clearly given! It came in the wake of that +Hanover Treaty, as is now guessed; the two having taken opposite +sides on that measure, and got provoked into ripping up old sores +in general. Dessau was AGAINST King George and the Treaty, it +appears; having his reasons, family-reasons of old standing: +Grumkow, a bribable gentleman, was FOR,--having also perhaps his +reasons. Enough, it came to altercations, objurgations between +the two; which rose ever higher,--rose at length to +wager-of-battle. Indignant challenge on the part of the Old +Dessauer; which, however, Grumkow, not regarded as a BARESARK in +the fighting way, regrets that his Christian principles do not, +forsooth, allow him to accept. The King is appealed to; the King, +being himself, though an orthodox Christian, yet a still more +orthodox Soldier, decides That, on the whole, General Grumkow +cannot but accept this challenge from the Field-marshal Prince +of Dessau. + +Dessau is on the field, at the Copenick Gate, accordingly,-- +late-autumn afternoon (I calculate) of the year 1725;--waits +patiently till Grumkow make his appearance. Grumkow, with a chosen +second, does at last appear; advances pensively with slow steps. +Gunpowder Dessau, black as a silent thunder-cloud, draws his +sword: and Grumkow--does not draw his; presents it undrawn, with +unconditional submission and apology: "Slay me, if you like, old +Friend, whom I have injured!" Whereat Dessau, uttering no word, +uttering only some contemptuous snort, turns his back on the +phenomenon; mounts his horse and rides home. [Pollnitz, ii. 212, +214.] A divided man from this Grumkow henceforth. The Prince +waited on her Majesty; signified his sorrow for past +estrangements; his great wish now to help her, but his total +inability, being ousted by Grumkow: We are for Halle, Madam, where +our Regiment is; there let us serve his Majesty, since we cannot +here! [Wilhelmina, i. 90, 93.] --And in fact the Old Dessauer +lives mostly there in time coming; sunk inarticulate in tactics of +a truly deep nature, not stranding on politics of a shallow;-- +a man still memorable in the mythic traditions of that place. +Better to drill men to perfection, and invent iron ramrods, +against the day they shall be needed, than go jostling, on such +terms, with cattle of the Grumkow kind! And thus, we perceive, +Grumkow is in, and the Old Dessauer out; and there has been +"a change of Ministry," change of "Majesty's-Advisers," brought +about;--may the Advice going be wiser now! + +What the young Crown-Prince did, said, thought, in such +environment, of backstairs diplomacies, female sighs and +aspirations, Grumkow duels, drillings in the Giant Regiment, is +not specified for us in the smallest particular, in the extensive +rubbish-books that have been written about him. Ours is, to +indicate that such environment was: how a lively soul, acted on by +it, did not fail to react, chameleon-like taking color from it, +and contrariwise taking color against it, must be left to the +reader's imagination--One thing we have gathered and will not +forget, That the Old Dessauer is out, and Grumkow in, that the +rugged Son of Gunpowder, drilling men henceforth at Halle, and in +a dumb way meditating tactics as few ever did, has no share in the +foul enchantments that now supervene at court. + + + +Chapter VI. + +ORDNANCE-MASTER SECKENDORF CROSSES THE PALACE ESPLANADE. + +The Kaiser's terror and embarrassment at the conclusion of the +Hanover Treaty, as we saw, were extreme. War possible or likely; +and nothing but the termagant caprices of Elizabeth Farnese to +depend on: no cash from the Sea-Powers; only cannonshot, invasion +and hostility, from their cash and them: What is to be done? +To "caress the pride of Spain;" to keep alive the hopes, in that +quarter, of marrying their Don Carlos, the supplementary Infant, +to our eldest Archduchess; which indeed has set the Sea-Powers +dreadfully on fire, but which does leave Parma and Piacenza quiet +for the present, and makes the Pragmatic Sanction too an affair of +Spain's own: this is one resource, though a poor one, and a +dangerous. Another is, to make alliance with Russia, by well +flattering the poor little brown Czarina there: but is not that a +still poorer? And what third is there!-- + +There is a third worth both the others, could it be got done: +To detach Friedrich Wilhelm from those dangerous Hanover +Confederates, and bring him gently over to ourselves. He has an +army of 60,000, in perfect equipment, and money to maintain them +so. Against us or for us,--60,000 PLUS or 60,000 MINUS;--that will +mean 120,000 fighting men; a most weighty item in any field there +is like to be. If it lie in the power of human art, let us gain +this wild irritated King of Prussia. Dare any henchman of ours +venture to go, with honey-cakes, with pattings and cajoleries, and +slip the imperial muzzle well round the snout of that rugged +ursine animal? An iracund bear, of dangerous proportions, and +justly irritated against us at present? Our experienced +FELDZEUGMEISTER, Ordnance-Master and Diplomatist, Graf von +Seckendorf, a conscientious Protestant, and the cunningest of men, +able to lie to all lengths,--dare he try it? He has fought in all +quarters of the world; and lied in all, where needful; and saved +money in all: he will try it, and will succeed in it too! +[Pollnitz, ii. 235; Stenzel, iii. 544; Forster, ii. 59, +iii. 235, 239.] + +The Second Act, therefore, of this foolish World-Drama of the +Double-Marriage opens,--on the 11th May, 1726, towards sunset, in +the TABAGIE of the Berlin Palace, as we gather from laborious +comparison of windy Pollnitz with other indistinct witnesses of a +dreary nature,--in the following manner:-- + +Prussian Majesty sits smoking at the window; nothing particular +going on. A square-built shortish steel-gray Gentleman, of +military cut, past fifty, is strolling over the SCHLOSSPLATZ +(spacious Square in front of the Palace), conspicuous amid the +sparse populations there; pensively recreating himself, in the +yellow sunlight and long shadows, as after a day's hard labor or +travel. "Who is that?" inquires Friedrich Wilhelm, suspending his +tobacco. Grumkow answers cautiously, after survey: He thinks it +must be Ordnance-Master Seckendorf; who was with him to-day; +passing on rapidly towards Denmark, on business that will not +wait.--"Experienced Feldzeugmeister Graf von Seckendorf, whom we +stand in correspondence with, of late, and were expecting about +this time? Whom we have known at the Siege of Stralsund, nay +ever since the Marlborough times and the Siege of Menin, in war +and peace; and have always reckoned a solid reasonable man and +soldier: Why has he not come to us?"--"Your Majesty," confesses +Grumkow, "his business is so pressing! Business in Denmark will +not wait. Seckendorf owned he had come slightly round, in his +eagerness to see our grand Review at Tempelhof the day after +to-morrow: What soldier would omit the sight (so he was pleased to +intimate) of soldiering carried to the non-plus-ultra? But he +hoped to do it quite incognito, among the general public;--and +then to be at the gallop again: not able to have the honor of +paying his court at this time."--"Court? NARREN-POSSEN +(Nonsense)!" answers Friedrich Wilhelm,--and opening the window, +beckons Seckendorf up, with his own royal head and hand. +The conversation of a man who had rational sense, and could tell +him anything, were it only news af foreign parts in a rational +manner, was always welcome to Friedrich Wilhelm. + +And so Seckendorf, how can he help it, is installed in the +Tabagie; glides into pleasant conversation there. A captivating +talker; solid for religion, for the rights of Germany against +intrusive French and others: such insight, orthodoxy, sense and +ingenuity; pleasant to hear; and all with the due quantity of oil, +though he "both snuffles and lisps;" and has privately, in case of +need, a capacity of lying,--for he curiously distils you any lie, +in his religious alembics, till it become tolerable to his +conscience, or even palatable, as elixirs are;--capacity of +double-distilled lying probably the greatest of his day.-- +Seckendorf assists at the grand Review, 13th May, 1726; witnesses +with unfeigned admiration the non-plus-ultra of manoeuvring, and, +in fact, the general management, military and other, of this +admirable King. [Pollnitz, ii. 235; Fassmann, pp. 367, 368.] +Seckendorf, no question of it, will do his Denmark business +swiftly, then, since your Majesty is pleased so to wish. +Seckendorf, sure enough, will return swiftly to such a King, whose +familiar company, vouchsafed him in this noble manner, he likes,-- +oh, how he likes it! + +In a week or two, Seckendorf is back to Berlin; attends his +Majesty on the annual Military Tour through Preussen; attends him +everywhere, becoming quite a necessary of life to his Majesty; +and does not go away at all. Seckendorf's business, if his Majesty +knew it, will not lead him "away;" but lies here on this spot; +and is now going on; the magic-apparatus, Grumkow the mainspring +of it, getting all into gear! Grumkow was once clear for King +George and the Hanover Treaty, having his reasons then; but now he +has other reasons, and is clear against those foreign connections. +"Hm, hah--Yes, my estimable, justly powerful Herr von Grumkow, +here is a little Pension of 1,600 ducats (only 500 pounds as yet), +which the Imperial Majesty, thinking of the service you may do +Prussia and Germany and him, graciously commands me to present;-- +only 500 pounds by the year as yet; but there shall be no lack of +money if we prosper!" [Forster, iii. 233, 232; see also iv. 172, +121, 157, &c.] + +And so there are now two Black-Artists, of the first quality, busy +on the unconscious Friedrich Wilhelm; and Seckendorf, for the next +seven years, will stick to Friedrich Wilhelm like his shadow; +and fascinate his whole existence and him, as few wizards could +have done. Friedrich Wilhelm, like St. Paul in Melita, warming his +innocent hands at the fire of dry branches here kindled for him,-- +that miracle of a venomous serpent is this that has fixed itself +upon his finger? To Friedrich Wilhelm's enchanted sense it seems a +bird-of-paradise, trustfully perching there; but it is of the +whip-snake kind, or a worse; and will stick to him tragically, if +also comically, for years to come. The world has seen the comedy +of it, and has howled scornful laughter upon Friedrich Wilhelm for +it: but there is a tragic side, not so well seen into, where tears +are due to the poor King; and to certain others horsewhips, and +almost gallows-ropes, are due!--Yes, had Seckendorf and Grumkow +both been well hanged, at this stage of the affair, whereby the +affair might have soon ended on fair terms, it had been welcome to +mankind; welcome surely to the present Editor; for one; such a +saving to him, of time wasted, of disgust endured! And indeed it +is a solacement he has often longed for, in these dreary +operations of his. But the Fates appointed otherwise; we have all +to accept our Fate!-- + +Grumkow is sworn to Imperial orthodoxy, then,--probably the +vulpine MIND (so to term it) went always rather that way, and only +his interest the other;--Grumkow is well bribed, supplied for +bribing others where needful; stands orthodox now, under peril of +his very head. All things have been got distilled into the +palatable state, spiritual and economic, for oneself and one's +grand Trojan-Horse of a Grumkow; and the adventure proceeds apace. +Seckendorf sits nightly in the TABAGIE (a kind of "Smoking +Parliament," as we shall see anon); attends on all promenades and +journeys: one of the wisest heads, and so pleasant in discourse, +he is grown indispensable, and a necessary of life to us. +Seckendorf's Biographer computes, "he must have ridden, in those +seven years, continually attending his Majesty, above 5,000 German +miles," [Anonymous (Seckendorf's Grand-Nephew) <italic> Versuch +einer Lebensbeschreibung des Feldmarschalls Grafen von Seckendorf +<end italic> (Leipzig, 1792, 1794), i. 6.]--that is 25,000 +English miles; or a trifle more than the length of the +Terrestrial Equator. + +In a month or two, [13th August, 1726 (Preuss, i. 37).] +Seckendorf--since Majesty vouchsafes to honor us by wishing it-- +contrives to get nominated Kaiser's Minister at Berlin: unlimited +prospects of Tabagie, and good talk, now opening on Majesty. +And impartial Grumkow, in Tabagie or wherever we are, cannot but +admit, now and then, that the Excellenz Herr Graf Ordnance-Master +has a deal of reason in what he says about Foreign Politics, about +intrusive French and other points. "Hm, Na," muses Friedrich +Wilhelm to himself, "if the Kaiser had not been so lofty on us in +that Heidelberg-Protestant affair, in the Ritter-Dienst business, +in those damned 'recruiting' brabbles; always a very high-sniffing +surly Kaiser to us!" For in fact the Kaiser has, all along, used +Friedrich Wilhelm bitterly ill; and contemplates no better usage +of him, except in show. Usage? thinks the Kaiser: A big Prussian +piece of Cannon, whom we wish to enchant over to us! Did LAZY PEG +complain of her "usage"?--So that the Excellenz and Grumkow have a +heavy problem of it; were they not so diligent, and the Cannon +itself well disposed. "Those BLITZ FRANZOSEN (blasted French)!" +growls Friedrich Wilhelm sometimes, in the Tobacco-Parliament: +[Forster, ii. 12, &c.] for he hates the French, and would fain +love his Kaiser; being German to the bone, and of right loyal +heart, though counted only a piece of cannon by some. For one +thing, his Prussian Majesty declines signing that Treaty of +Hanover a second time: now when the Dutch accede to it, after +almost a year's trouble with them, the Prussian Ambassador, +singular to observe, "has no orders to sign;" leaves the English +with their Hollanders and Blitz Franzosen to sign by themselves, +this time. [9th August, 1726. (Boyer, <italic> The Political State +of Great Rrilain, <end italic> a monthly periodical, vol. xxxii. +p. 77, which is the number for July, 1726.)] "We will wait, we +will wait!" thinks his Prussian Majesty:--"Who knows?" + +"But then Julich and Berg!" urges he always; "Britannic Majesty +and the Blitz Franzosen were to secure me the reversion there. +That was the essential point!"--For this too Excellenz has a +remedy; works out gradually a remedy from headquarters, the +amiable dexterous man: "Kaiser will do the like, your Majesty; +Kaiser himself will secure it you!"--In brief, some three months +after Seckendorf's instalment as Kaiser's Minister, not yet five +months since his appearance in the Schlossplatz that May evening, +--it is now Hunting-season, and we are at Wusterhausen; +Majesty, his two Black-Artists and the proper satellites on both +sides all there,--a new and opposite Treaty, in extreme privacy, +on the 12th of October, 1726, is signed at that sequestered +Hunting-Schloss: "Treaty of Wusterhausen" so called; which was +once very famous and mysterious, and caused many wigs to wag. +Wigs to wag, in those days especially, when knowledge of it was +first had; the rather as only half knowledge could be had of it;-- +or can, mourns Dryasdust, who has still difficulties about some +"secret articles" in the Document. [Buchholz, i. 94 n.] Courage, +my friend; they are now of no importance to any creature. + +The essential purport of this Treaty, [Given IN EXTENSO (without +the secret articles) in Forster, iv. 159-166.] legible to all +eyes, is, "That Friedrich Wilhelm silently drops the Hanover +Treaty and Blitz Franzosen; and explicitly steps over to the +Kaiser's side; stipulates to assist the Kaiser with so many +thousand, if attacked in Germany by any Blitz Franzose or +intrusive Foreigner whatever. In return for which, the Kaiser, +besides assisting Prussia in the like case with a like quotity of +thousands, engages, in circuitous chancery language, To be +helpful, and humanly speaking effectua1, in that grand matter of +Julich and Berg;--somewhat in the following strain: 'To our +Imperial mind it does appear the King of Prussia has manifest +right to the succession in Julich and Berg; right grounded on +express ERBVERGLEICH of 1624, not to speak of Deeds subsequent: +the Imperial mind, as supreme judge of such matters in the Reich, +will not fail to decide this Cause soon and justly, should it come +to that. But we hope it may take a still better course: for the +Imperial mind will straightway set about persuading Kur-Pfalz to +comply peaceably; and even undertakes to have something done, that +way, before six months pass.'" [Art. v. in Forster, ubi supra.] + +Humanly speaking, surely the Imperial mind will be effectual in +the Julich and Berg matter. But it was very necessary to use +circuitous chancery language,--inasmuch as the Imperial mind, +desirous also to secure Kur-Pfalz's help in this sore crisis, had, +about three months ago, [Treaty with Kur-Pfalz, 16th August, 1726 +(Forster, ii. 71).] expressly engaged to Kur-Pfalz, That Julich +and Berg should NOT go to Friedrich Wilhelm in terms of the old +Deed, but to Kur-Pfalz's Cousins of Sulzbach, whom the old +gentleman (in spite of Deeds) was obstinate to prefer! There is no +doubt about that fact, about that self-devouring pair of facts. +To such straits is a Kaiser driven when he gets deep into +spectre-hunting. + +This is the once famous, now forgotten, "Treaty of Wusterhausen, +12th October, 1726;" which proved so consolatory to the Kaiser in +that dread crisis of his Spectre-Hunt; and the effects of which +are very visible in this History, if nowhere else. It caught up +the Prussian-English Double-Marriage; launched it into the huge +tide of Imperial Spectre Politics, into the awful swaggings and +swayings of the Terrestrial LIBRA in general; and nearly broke the +heart of several Royal persons; of a memorable Crown-Prince, among +others. Which last is now, pretty much, its sole claim to be ever +mentioned again by mankind. As there was no performance, nor an +intention of any, in that Julich-Berg matter, Excellenz Seckendorf +had the task henceforth of keeping, by art-magic or the +PRETERnatural method,--that is, by mere help of Grumkow and the +Devil,--his Prussian Majesty steady to the Kaiser nevertheless. +Always well divided from the English especially. Which the +Excellency Seckendorf managed to do. For six or seven years +coming; or, in fact, till these Spectre-chasings ended, or ran +else-whither for consummation. Steady always, jealous of the +English; sometimes nearly mad, but always ready as a primed +cannon: so Friedrich Wilhelm was accordingly managed to be kept;-- +his own Household gone almost into delirium; he himself looking +out, with loyally fierce survey, for any Anti-Kaiser War: "When do +we go off, then?"--though none ever came. And indeed nothing came; +and except those torments to young Friedrich and others, it was +all Nothing. One of the strangest pieces of Black-Art ever done. + +Excellenz Seckendorf, whom Friedrich Wilhelm so loves, is by no +means a beautiful man; far the reverse. Bodily,--and the spirit +corresponds,--a stiff-backed, petrified, stony, +inscrutable-looking, and most unbeautiful old Intriguer. +Portraits of him, which are frequent, tell all one story. +The brow puckered together, in a wide web of wrinkles from each +temple, as if it meant to hide the bad pair of eyes, which look +suspicion; inquiry, apprehension, habit of double-distilled +mendacity; the indeterminate projecting chin, with its thick, +chapped under-lip, is shaken out, or shoved out, in mill-hopper +fashion,--as if to swallow anything there may be, spoken thing or +other, and grind it to profitable meal for itself. Spiritually he +was an old Soldier let for hire; an old Intriguer, Liar, Fighter, +what you like. What we may call a human Soul standing like a +hackney-coach, this half-century past, with head, tongue, heart, +conscience, at the hest of a discerning public and its shilling. + +There is considerable faculty, a certain stiff-necked strength in +the old fellow; in fact, nature had been rather kind to him; +and certainly his Uncle and Guardian--the distinguished Seckendorf +who did the HISTORIA LUTHERANISMI, a RITTER, and man of good mark, +in Ernst THE PIOUS of Saxe-Gotha's time--took pains about his +education. But Nature's gifts have not prospered with him: +how could they, in that hackney-coach way of life? +Considerable gifts, we say; shrunk into a strange bankruptcy in +the development of them. A stiff-backed, close-fisted old +gentleman, with mill-hopper chin,--with puckery much-inquiring +eyes, which have never discovered any noble path for him in this +world. He is a strictly orthodox Protestant; zealous about +external points of moral conduct; yet scruples not, for the +Kaiser's shilling, to lie with energy to all lengths; and fight, +according to the Reichs-Hofrath code, for any god or man. He is +gone mostly to avarice, in these mature years; all his various +strengths turned into strength of grasping. He is now fifty-four; +a man public in the world, especially since he became the Kaiser's +man: but he has served various masters, in various capacities, and +been in many wars;--and for the next thirty years we shall still +occasionally meet him, seldom to our advantage. + +He comes from Anspach originally; and has kindred Seckendorfs in +office there, old Ritters in that Country. He inherited a handsome +castle and estate, Meuselwitz, near Altenburg in the Thuringen +region, from that Uncle, Ernst of Saxe-Gotha's man, whom we spoke +of; and has otherwise gained wealth; all which he holds like a +vice. Once, at Meuselwitz, they say, he and some young secretary, +of a smartish turn, sat working or conversing, in a large room +with only one candle to illuminate it: the secretary, snuffing the +candle, snuffed it out: "Pshaw," said Seckendorf impatiently, +"where did you learn to handle snuffers?" "Excellenz, in a place +where there were two lights kept!" replied the 0ther. [<italic> +Sechendorje Leben <end italic> (already cited), i. 4.]--For the +rest, he has a good old Wife at Meuselwitz, who is now old, and +had never any children; who loves him much, and is much loved by +him, it would appear: this is really the best fact I ever knew of +him,--poor bankrupt creature; gone all to spiritual rheumatism, to +strict orthodoxy, with unlimited mendacity; and avarice as the +general outcome! Stiff-backed, close-fisted strength, all grown +wooden or stony; yet some little well of human Sympathy does lie +far in the interior: one wishes, after all (since he could not be +got hanged in time for us), good days to his poor old Wife and +him! He both lisps and snuffles, as was mentioned; writes +cunningly acres of despatches to Prince Eugene; never swears, +though a military man, except on great occasions one oath, +JARNI-BLEU,--which is perhaps some flash-note version of +CHAIR-DE-DIEU, like PARBLEU, 'Zounds and the rest of them, which +the Devil cannot prosecute you for; whereby an economic man has +the pleasure of swearing on cheap terms. + +Herr Pollnitz's account of Seckendorf is unusually emphatic; +babbling Pollnitz rises into a strain of pulpit eloquence, +inspired by indignation, on this topic: "He affected German +downrightness, to which he was a stranger; and followed, under a +deceitful show of piety, all the principles of Machiavel. With the +most sordid love of money he combined boorish manners. Lies [of +the distilled kind chiefly] had so become a habit with him, that +he had altogether lost notion of employing truth in speech. It was +the soul of a usurer, inhabiting now the body of a war-captain, +now transmigrating into that of a huckster. False oaths, and the +abominablest basenesses, cost him nothing, so his object might be +reached. He was miserly with his own, but lavish with his Master's +money; daily he gave most striking proofs of both these habitudes. +And this was the man whom we saw, for a space of time, at the head +of the Kaiser's Armies, and at the helm of the State and of the +German Empire," [Pollnitz, ii. 238.]--having done the Prussian +affair so well. + +This cunning old Gentleman, to date from the autumn of 1726, may +be said to have taken possession of Friedrich Wilhelm; to have +gone into him, Grumkow and he, as two devils would have done in +the old miraculous times: and, in many senses, it was they, not +the nominal proprietor, that lived Friedrich Wilhelm's life. +For the next seven years, a figure went about, not doubting it was +Friedrich Wilhelm; but it was in reality Seckendorf-and-Grumkow +much more. These two, conjurer and his man, both invisible, have +caught their royal wild Bear; got a rope round his muzzle;--and so +dance him about; now terrifying, now exhilarating all the market +by the pranks he plays! Grumkow, a very Machiavel after his sort, +knew the nature of the royal animal as no other did. Grumkow, +purchased by his Pension of 500 pounds, is dog-cheap at the Money, +as Seckendorf often urges at Vienna, Is he not? And they add a +touch of extraordinary gift now and then, 40,000 florins (4,000 +pounds) on one occasion: [In 1732: Forster, iii. 232.] for +"Grumkow DIENET EHRLICH (serves honorably)," urges Seckendorf; +and again, "If anybody deserves favor [GNADE, meaning extra pay], +it is this gentleman;"--WAHRLICH! Purchased Grumkow has ample +money at command, to purchase other people needed; and does +purchase; so that all things and persons can be falsified and +enchanted, as need is. By and by it has got so far, that Friedrich +Wilhelm's Ambassador at London maintains a cipher-correspondence +with Grumkow; and writes to Friedrich Wilhelm, not what is passing +in city or court there, but what Grumkow wishes Friedrich Wilhelm +to think is passing. + +Of insinuations, by assent or contradiction, potent if you know +the nature of the beast; of these we need not speak. +Tabaks-Collegium has become a workshop:--human nature can fancy +it! Nay human nature can still read it in the British State-Paper +Office, to boundless stupendous extent;--but ought mostly to +suppress it when read. + +This is a very strange part of Friedrich Wilhelm's history; +and has caused much wonder in the world: Wilhelmina's Book rather +aggravating than assuaging that feeling, on the part of +intelligent readers. A Book written long afterwards, from her +recollections, from her own oblique point of view; in a +beautifully shrill humor; running, not unnaturally, into confused +exaggerations and distortions of all kinds. Not mendaciously +written anywhere, yet erroneously everywhere. Wilhelmina had no +knowledge of the magical machinery that was at work: she vaguely +suspects Grumkow and Seckendorf; but does not guess, in the mad +explosions of Papa, that two devils have got into Papa, and are +doing the mischief. Trusting to memory alone, she misdates, +mistakes, misplaces; jumbles all things topsy-turvy;--giving, on +the whole, an image of affairs which is altogether oblique, +dislocated, exaggerative; and which, in fine, proves +unintelligible, if you try to construe it into a fact or thing +DONE. Yet her Human Narrative, in that wide waste of merely Pedant +Maunderings, is of great worth to us. A green tree, a leafy grove, +better or worse, in the wilderness of dead bones and sand,--how +welcome! Many other Books have been written on the matter; but +these to my experience, only darken it more and more. +Pull Wilhelmina STRAIGHT, the best you can; deduct a twenty-five +or sometimes even a seventy-five per cent, from the exaggerative +portions of her statement; you will find her always true, lucid, +charmingly human; and by far the best authority on this part of +her Brother's History. State-Papers to some extent have also been +printed on the matter; and of written State-Papers, here in +England and elsewhere, this Editor has, had several +hundred-weights distilled for him: but except as lights hung out +over Wilhelmina, nothing yet known, of published or manuscript, +can be regarded as good for much. + +O Heavens, had one but seven-league boots, to get across that +inane country,--a bottomless whirlpool of dust and cobwebs in many +places;--where, at any rate, we had so little to do! Elucidating, +rectifying, painfully contrasting, comparing, let us try to work +out some conceivable picture of this strange Imperial MUCH ADO +ABOUT NOTHING; and get our unfortunate Crown-Prince, and our +unfortunate selves, alive through it. + + + +Chapter VII. + +TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + +In these distressing junctures, it may cheer the reader's spirits, +and will tend to explain for him what is coming, if we glance a +little into the Friedrich-Wilhelm TABAGIE (TABAKS-COLLEGIUM or +Smoking College), more worthy to be called Tobacco-Parliament, of +which there have already been incidental notices. Far too +remarkable an Institution of the country to be overlooked +by us here. + +Friedrich Wilhelm, though an absolute Monarch, does not dream of +governing without Law, still less without Justice, which he knows +well to be the one basis for him and for all Kings and men. +His life-effort, prosecuted in a grand, unconscious, unvarying and +instinctive way, may be defined rather as the effort to find out +everywhere in his affairs what was justice; to make regulations, +laws in conformity with that, and to guide himself and his Prussia +rigorously by these. Truly he is not of constitutional turn; +cares little about the wigs and formalities of justice, pressing +on so fiercely towards the essence and fact of it; he has been +known to tear asunder the wigs and formalities, in a notably +impatient manner, when they stood between him and the fact. +But Prussia has its Laws withal, tolerably abundant, tolerably +fixed and supreme: and the meanest Prussian man that could find +out a definite Law, coming athwart Friedrich Wilhelm's wrath, +would check Friedrich Wilhelm in mid-volley,--or hope with good +ground to do it. Hope, we say; for the King is in his own and his +people's eyes, to some indefinite extent, always himself the +supreme ultimate Interpreter, and grand living codex, of the +Laws,--always to some indefinite extent;--and there remains for a +subject man nothing but the appeal to PHILIP SOBER, in some rash +cases! On the whole, however, Friedrich Wilhelm is by no means a +lawless Monarch; nor are his Prussians slaves by any means: +they are patient, stout-hearted, subject men, with a very +considerable quantity of radical fire, very well covered in; +prevented from idle explosions, bound to a respectful demeanor, +and especially to hold their tongues as much as possible. + +Friedrich Wilhelm has not the least shadow of a Constitutional +Parliament, nor even a Privy-Council, as we understand it; +his Ministers being in general mere Clerks to register and execute +what he had otherwise resolved upon: but he had his +TABAKS-COLLEGIUM, Tobacco-College, Smoking Congress, TABAGIE, +which has made so much noise in the world, and which, in a rough +natural way: affords him the uses of a Parliament, on most cheap +terms, and without the formidable inconveniences attached to that +kind of Institution. A Parliament reduced to its simplest +expression, and, instead of Parliamentary eloquence, provided with +Dutch clay-pipes and tobacco: so we may define this celebrated +Tabagie of Friedrich Wilhelm's. + +Tabagies were not uncommon among German Sovereigns of that epoch: +George I. at Hanover had his Smoking-room, and select smoking +Party on an evening; and even at London, as we noticed, smoked +nightly, wetting his royal throat with thin beer, in presence of +his fat and of his lean Mistress, if there were no other company. +Tobacco,--introduced by the Swedish soldiers in the Thirty-Years +War, say some; or even by the English soldiers in the Bohemian or +Palatinate beginnings of said War, say others;--tobacco, once +shown them, was enthusiastically adopted by the German +populations, long in want of such an article; and has done +important multifarious functions in that country ever since. +For truly, in Politics, Morality, and all departments of their +Practical and Speculative affairs, we may trace its influences, +good and bad, to this day. + +Influences generally bad; pacificatory but bad, engaging you in +idle cloudy dreams;--still worse, promoting composure among the +palpably chaotic and discomposed; soothing all things into lazy +peace; that all things may be left to themselves very much, and to +the laws of gravity and decomposition. Whereby German affairs are +come to be greatly overgrown with funguses in our Time; and give +symptoms of dry and of wet rot, wherever handled. George I., we +say, had his Tabagie; and other German Sovereigns had: but none of +them turned it to a Political Institution, as Friedrich Wilhelm +did. The thrifty man; finding it would serve in that capacity +withal. He had taken it up as a commonplace solace and amusement: +it is a reward for doing strenuously the day's heavy labors, to +wind them up in this manner, in quiet society of friendly human +faces, into a contemplative smoke-canopy, slowly spreading into +the realm of sleep and its dreams. Friedrich Wilhelm was a man of +habitudes; his evening Tabagie became a law of Nature to him, +constant as the setting of the sun. Favorable circumstances, +quietly noticed and laid hold of by the thrifty man, developed +this simple evening arrangement of his into a sort of Smoking +Parliament, small but powerful, where State-consultations, in a +fitful informal way, took place; and the weightiest affairs might, +by dexterous management, cunning insinuation and manoeuvring from +those that understood the art and the place, be bent this way or +that, and ripened towards such issue as was desirable. + +To ascertain what the true course in regard to this or the other +high matter will be; what the public will think of it; and, in +short, what and how the Executive-Royal shall DO therein: +this, the essential function of a Parliament and Privy-Council, +was here, by artless cheap methods, under the bidding of mere +Nature, multifariously done; mere taciturnity and sedative smoke +making the most of what natural intellect there might be. +The substitution of Tobacco-smoke for Parliamentary eloquence is, +by some, held to be a great improvement. Here is Smelfungus's +opinion, quaintly expressed, with a smile in it, which perhaps is +not all of joy:-- + +"Tobacco-smoke is the one element in which, by our European +manners, men can sit silent together without embarrassment, and +where no man is bound to speak one word more than he has actually +and veritably got to say. Nay, rather every man is admonished and +enjoined by the laws of honor, and even of personal ease, to stop +short of that point; at all events, to hold his peace and take to +his pipe again, the instant he has spoken his meaning, if he +chance to have any. The results of which salutary practice, if +introduced into Constitutional Parliaments, might evidently be +incalculable. The essence of what little intellect and insight +there is in that room: we shall or can get nothing more out of any +Parliament; and sedative, gently soothing, gently clarifying +tobacco-smoke (if the room were well ventilated, open atop, and +the air kept good), with the obligation to a MINIMUM of speech, +surely gives human intellect and insight the best chance they can +have. Best chance, instead of the worst chance as at present: +ah me, ah me, who will reduce fools to silence again in any +measure? Who will deliver men from this hideous nightmare of +Stump-Oratory, under which the grandest Nations are choking to a +nameless death, bleeding (too truly) from mouth and nose and ears, +in our sad days?" + +This Tobacco-College is the Grumkow-and-Seckendorf chief field of +action. These two gentlemen understand thoroughly the nature of +the Prussian Tobacco-Parliament; have studied the conditions of it +to the most intricate cranny: no English Whipper-in or eloquent +Premier knows his St. Stephen's better, or how to hatch a measure +in that dim hot element. By hint, by innuendo; by contemplative +smoke, speech and forbearance to speak; often looking one way and +rowing another,--they can touch the secret springs, and guide in a +surprising manner the big dangerous Fireship (for such every +State-Parliament is) towards the haven they intend for it. +Most dexterous Parliament-men (Smoke-Parliament); no Walpole, no +Dundas, or immortal Pitt, First or Second, is cleverer in +Parliamentary practice. For their Fireship, though smaller than +the British, is very dangerous withal. Look at this, for instance: +Seckendorf, one evening, far contrary to his wont, which was +prostrate respect in easy forms, and always judicious submission +of one's own weaker judgment, towards his Majesty,--has got into +some difficult defence of the Kaiser; defence very difficult, or +in reality impossible. The cautious man is flustered by the +intricacies of his position, by his Majesty's indignant +counter-volleys, and the perilous necessity there is to do the +impossible on the spur of the instant;--gets into emphasis, +answers his Majesty's volcanic fire by incipient heat of his own; +and, in short, seems in danger of forgetting himself, and kindling +the Tobacco-Parliament into a mere conflagration. That will be an +issue for us! And yet who dare interfere? Friedrich Wilhelm's +words, in high clangorous metallic plangency, and the pathos of a +lion raised by anger into song, fall hotter and hotter; +Seckendorf's puckered brow is growing of slate-color; +his shelf-lip, shuttling violently, lisps and snuffles mere +unconciliatory matter:--What on earth will become of us?--"Hoom! +Boom!" dexterous Grumkow has drawn a Humming-top from his pocket, +and suddenly sent it spinning. There it hums and caracoles, +through the bottles and glasses; reckless what dangerous breakage +and spilth it may occasion. Friedrich Wilhelm looked aside to it +indignantly. "What is that?" inquired he, in metallic tone still +high. "Pooh, a toy I bought for the little Prince August, your +Majesty: am only trying it!" His Majesty understood the hint, +Seckendorf still better; and a jolly touch of laughter, on both +sides, brought the matter back into the safe tobacco-clouds again. +[Forster, ii. 110.] + +This Smoking Parliament or (TABAKS-COLLEGIUM of his Prussian +Majesty was a thing much talked of in the world; but till +Seckendorf and Grumkow started their graud operations there, its +proceedings are not on record; nor indeed till then had its +political or parliamentary function become so decidedly evident. +It was originally a simple Smoking-Club; got together on hest of +Nature, without ulterior intentions:--thus English PARLIAMENTA +themselves are understood to have been, in the old Norman time, +mere royal Christmas-Festivities, with natural colloquy or +PARLEYING between King and Nobles ensuing thereupon, and what +wisest consultation concerning the arduous things of the realm the +circumstances gave rise to. Such parleyings or consultations,-- +always two in number in regard to every matter, it would seem, or +even three; one sober, one drunk, and one just after being drunk, +--proving of extreme service in practice, grew to be Parliament, +with its three readings, and what not. + +A Smoking-room,--with wooden furniture, we can suppose,--in each +of his Majesty's royal Palaces, was set apart for this evening +service, and became the Tabagie of his Majesty. A Tabagie-room in +the Berlin Schloss, another in the Potsdam, if the cicerone had +any knowledge, could still be pointed out:--but the Tobacco-PIPES +that are shown as Friedrich Wilhelm's in the KUNSTKAMMER or Museum +of Berlin, pipes which no rational smoker, not compelled to it, +would have used, awaken just doubt as to the cicerones; and you +leave the Locality of the Tabagie a thing conjectural. In summer +season, at Potsdam and in country situations, Tabagie could be +held under a tent: we expressly know, his Majesty held Tabagie at +Wusterhausen nightly on the Steps of the big Fountain, in the +Outer Court there. Issuing from Wusterhausen Schloss, and its +little clipped lindens, by the western side; passing the sentries, +bridge and black ditch, with live Prussian eagles, vicious black +bears, you come upon the royal Tabagie of Wusterhausen; covered by +an awning, I should think; sending forth its bits of smoke-clouds, +and its hum of human talk, into the wide free Desert round. +Any room that was large enough, and had height of ceiling, and +air-circulation and no cloth-furniture, would do: and in each +Palace is one, or more than one, that has been fixed upon and +fitted out for that object. + +A high large Room, as the Engravings (mostly worthless) give it +us: contented saturnine human figures, a dozen or so of them, +sitting round a large long Table, furnished for the occasion; +long Dutch pipe in the mouth of each man; supplies of knaster +easily accessible; small pan of burning peat, in the Dutch fashion +(sandy native charcoal, which burns slowly without smoke), is at +your left hand; at your right a jug, which I find to consist of +excellent thin bitter beer. Other costlier materials for drinking, +if you want such, are not beyond reach. On side-tables stand +wholesome cold-meats, royal rounds of beef not wanting, with bread +thinly sliced and buttered: in a rustic but neat and abundant way, +such innocent accommodations, narcotic or nutritious, gaseous, +fluid and solid, as human nature, bent on contemplation and an +evening lounge, can require. Perfect equality is to be the rule; +no rising, or notice taken, when anybody enters or leaves. Let the +entering man take his place and pipe, without obligatory remarks: +if he cannot smoke, which is Seckendorf's case for instance, let +him at least affect to do so, and not ruffle the established +stream of things. And so, Puff, slowly Pff!--and any comfortable +speech that is in you; or none, if you authentically have not any. + +Old official gentlemen, military for most part; Grumkow, Derschau, +Old Dessauer (when at hand), Seckendorf, old General Flans (rugged +Platt-Deutsch specimen, capable of TOCADILLE or backgammon, +capable of rough slashes of sarcasm when he opens his old beard +for speech): these, and the like of these, intimate confidants of +the King, men who could speak a little, or who could be socially +silent otherwise,--seem to have been the staple of the +Institution. Strangers of mark, who happened to be passing, were +occasional guests; Ginckel the Dutch Ambassador, though foreign +like Seckendorf, was well seen there; garrulous Pollnitz, who has +wandered over all the world, had a standing invitation. +Kings, high Princes on visit, were sure to have the honor. +The Crown-Prince, now and afterwards, was often present; +oftener than he liked,--in such an atmosphere, in such an element. +"The little Princes were all wont to come in," doffing their bits +of triangular hats, "and bid Papa good-night. One of the old +Generals would sometimes put them through their exercise; and the +little creatures were unwilling to go away to bed." + +In such Assemblage, when business of importance, foreign or +domestic, was not occupying the royal thoughts,--the Talk, we can +believe, was rambling and multifarious: the day's hunting, if at +Wusterhausen; the day's news, if at Berlin or Potsdam; +old reminiscences, too, I can fancy, turning up, and talk, even in +Seckendorf's own time, about Siege of Menin (where your Majesty +first did me the honor of some notice), Siege of Stralsund, and-- +duly on September 11th at least--Malplaquet, with Marlborough and +Eugene: what Marlborough said, looked: and especially Lottum, late +Feldmarschall Lottum; [Died 1719.] and how the Prussian Infantry +held firm, like a wall of rocks, when the horse were swept away,-- +rocks highly volcanic, and capable of rolling forward too; +and "how a certain Adjutant [Derschau smokes harder, and blushes +brown] snatched poor Tettau on his back, bleeding to death, amid +the iron whirlwinds, and brought him out of shot-range." [<italic> +Militair-Lexikon, <end italic> iv. 78, ? Major-General von Tettau, +and i. 348, ? Derschau. This was the beginning of Derschau's favor +with Friedrich Wilhelm, who had witnesssd this piece of faithful +work.]--"Hm, na, such a Day, that, Herr Feldzeugmeister, as we +shall not see again till the Last of the Days!" + +Failing talk, there were Newspapers in abundance; scraggy Dutch +Courants, Journals of the Rhine, FAMAS, Frankfurt ZEITUNGS; +with which his Majesty exuberantly supplied himself;--being +willing to know what was passing in the high places of the world, +or even what in the dark snuffy Editor's thoughts was passing. +This kind of matter, as some picture of the actual hour, his +Majesty liked to have read to him, even during meal-time. +Some subordinate character, with clear windpipe,--all the better +too, if he be a book-man, cognizant of History, Geography, and can +explain everything,--usually reads the Newspaper from some high +seat behind backs, while his Majesty and Household dine. The same +subordinate personage may be worth his place in the Tabagie, +should his function happen to prove necessary there. +Even book-men, though generally pedants and mere bags of wind and +folly, are good for something, more especially if rich mines of +quizzability turn out to be workable in them. + + + OF GUNDLING, AND THE LITERARY MEN IN TOBACCO-PARLIAMENT. + +Friedrich Wilhelm had, in succession or sometimes simultaneously, +a number of such Nondescripts, to read his Newspapers and season +his Tabagie;--last evanescent phasis of the old Court-Fool +species;--who form a noticeable feature of his environment. +One very famous literary gentleman of this description, who +distanced every competitor, in the Tabagie and elsewhere, for +serving his Majesty's occasions, was Jakob Paul Gundling; a name +still laughingly remembered among the Prussian People. +Gundling was a Country-Clergyman's son, of the Nurnberg quarter; +had studied, carrying off the honors, in various Universities; +had read, or turned over, whole cartloads of wise and foolish +Books (gravitating, I fear, towards the latter kind); had gone the +Grand Tour as travelling tutor, "as companion to an English +gentleman." He had seen courts, perhaps camps, at lowest cities +and inns; knew in a manner, practically and theoretically, all +things, and had published multifarious Books of his own. [List of +them, Twenty-one in number, mostly on learned Antiquarian +subjects,--in Forster, ii. 255, 256.] The sublime long-eared +erudition of the man was not to be contested; manifest to +everybody; thrice and four times manifest to himself, in the +first place. + +In the course of his roamings, and grand and little tours, he had +come to Berlin in old King Friedrich's time; had thrown powder in +the eyes of men there, and been appointed to Professorships in the +Ritter-Academy, to Chief-Heraldships,--"Historiographer Royal," +and perhaps other honors and emoluments. The whole of which were +cut down by the ruthless scythe of Friedrich Wilhelm, ruthlessly +mowing his field clear, in the manner we saw at his Accession. +Whereby learned grandiloquent Gundling, much addicted to liquor by +this time, and turning the corner of forty, saw himself cast forth +into the general wilderness; that is to say, walking the streets +of Berlin, with no resources but what lay within himself and his +own hungry skin. Much given to liquor too. How he lived, for a +year or two after this,--erudite pen and braggart tongue his only +resources,--were tragical to say. At length a famous +Tavern-keeper, the "LEIPZIGE POLTER-HANS (Leipzig Kill-Cow, or +BOISTEROUS-JACK)," as they call him, finding what a dungeon of +erudite talk this Gundling was, and how gentlemen got entertained +by him, gave Gundling the run of his Tavern (or, I fear, only a +seat in the drinking-room); and it was here that General Grumkow +found him, talking big, and disserting DE OMNI SCIBILI, to the +ancient Berlin gentlemen over their cups. A very Dictionary of a +man; who knows, in a manner, all things; and is by no means +ignorant that he knows them: Would not this man suit his Majesty? +thought Grumkow; and brought him to Majesty, to read the +Newspapers and explain everything. Date is not given, or hinted +at; but incidentally we find Gundling in full blast "in the year +1718;" [Von Loen, <italic> Kleine Schriften, i. 201 (cited in +Forster, i. 260).] and conclude his instalment was a year or two +before. Gundling came to his Majesty from the Tap-room of +Boisterous-Jack; read the Newspapers, and explained everything: +such a Dictionary-in-breeches (much given to liquor) as his +Majesty had got, was never seen before. Working into the man, his +Majesty, who had a great taste for such things, discovered in him +such mines of college-learning, court-learning, without end; +self-conceit, and depth of appetite, not less considerable: +in fine, such Chaotic Blockheadism with the consciousness of being +Wisdom, as was wondrous to behold,--as filled his Majesty, +especially, with laughter and joyful amazement. Here are mines of +native Darkness and Human Stupidity, capable of being made to +phosphoresce and effervesce,--are there not, your Majesty? +Omniscient Gundling was a prime resource in the Tabagie, for many +years to come. Man with sublimer stores of long-eared Learning +and Omniscience; man more destitute of Mother-wit, was nowhere to +be met with. A man, bankrupt of Mother-wit;--who has Squandered +any poor Mother-wit he had in the process of acquiring his sublime +long-eared Omniscience; and has retained only depth of appetite,-- +appetite for liquor among other things, as the consummation and +bottomless cesspool of appetites:--is not this a discovery we have +made, in Boisterous-Jack's, your Majesty! + +The man was an Eldorado for the peculiar quizzing humor of his +Majesty; who took immense delight in working him, when occasion +served. In the first years, he had to attend his Majesty on all +occasions of amusement; if you invite his Majesty to dinner, +Gundling too must be of the party. Daily, otherwise, Gundling was +at the Tabagie; getting drunk, if nothing better. Vein after vein, +rich in broad fun (very broad and Brobdignagian, such as suits +there), is discovered in him: without wit himself, but much the +cause of wit. None oftener shook the Tabagie with inextinguishable +Hahas: daily, by stirring into him, you could wrinkle the Tabagie +into grim radiance of banter and silent grins. + +He wore sublime clothes: Friedrich Wilhelm, whom we saw dress up +his regimental Scavenger-Executioners in French costume, for Count +Rothenburg's behoof, made haste to load Gundling with Rathships, +Kammerherrships, Titles such as fools covet;--gave him tolerable +pensions too, poor devil, and even functions, if they were of the +imaginary or big insignificant sort. Above all things, his Majesty +dressed him, as the pink of fortunate ambitious courtiers. +Superfine scarlet coat, gold buttonholes, black-velvet facings and +embroideries without end: "straw-colored breeches; red silk +stockings," with probably blue clocks to them, "and shoes with red +heels:" on his learned head sat an immense cloud-periwig of white +goat's-hair (the man now growing towards fifty); in the hat a red +feather:--in this guise he walked the streets, the gold Key of +KAMMERHERR (Chamberlain) conspicuously hanging at his coat-breast; +and looked proudly down upon the world, when sober. Alas, he was +often not sober; and fiends in human shape were ready enough to +take advantage of his unguarded situation. No man suffered ruder +tarring-and-feathering;--and his only comfort was his bane withal, +that he had, under such conditions, the use of the royal cellars, +and could always command good liquor there. + +His illustrious scarlet coat, by tumblings in the ditch, soon got +dirty to a degree; and exposed him to the biting censures of his +Majesty, anxious for the respectability of his Hofraths. One day, +two wicked Captains, finding him prostrate in some lone place, cut +off his Kammerherr KEY; and privately gave it to his Majesty. +Majesty, in Tabagie, notices Gundling's coat-breast: "Where is +your Key, then, Herr Kammerherr?" "Hm, hah--unfortunately lost it, +Ihro Majestat!"--"Lost it, say you?" and his Majesty looks +dreadfully grave.--"Key lost?" thinks Tabagie, grave Seckendorf +included: "JARNI-BLEU, that is something serious!" "As if a +Soldier were to drink his musket!" thinks his Majesty: "And what +are the laws, if an ignorant fellow is shot, and a learned wise +one escapes?" Here is matter for a deliberative Tabagie; and to +poor Gundling a bad outlook, fatal or short of fatal. He had +better not even drink much; but dispense with consolation, and +keep his wits about him, till this squall pass. After much +deliberating, it is found that the royal clemency can be extended; +and an outlet devised, under conditions. Next Tabagie, a servant +enters with one of the biggest trays in the world, and upon it a +"Wooden Key gilt, about an ell long;" this gigantic implement is +solemnly hung round the repentant Kammerherr; this he shall wear +publicly as penance, and be upon his behavior, till the royal mind +can relent. Figure the poor blockhead till that happen! +"On recovering his metal key, he goes to a smith, and has it fixed +on with wire." + +What Gundling thought to himself, amid these pranks and hoaxings, +we do not know. The poor soul was not born a fool; though he had +become one, by college-learning, vanity, strong-drink, and the +world's perversity and his own. Under good guidance, especially if +bred to strict silence, he might have been in some measure a +luminous object,--not as now a phosphorescent one, shining by its +mere rottenness! A sad "Calamity of Authors" indeed, when it +overtakes a man!--Poor Gundling probably had lucid intervals now +and then; tragic fits of discernment, in the inner-man of him. +He had a Brother, also a learned man, who retained his senses; +and was even a rather famed Professor at Halle; whose Portrait, +looking very academic, solemn and well-to-do, turns up in old +printshops; whose Books, concerning "Henry the Fowler (<italic> De +Henrico Aucupe <end italic>)," "Kaiser Conrad I.," and other dim +Historical objects, are still consultable,--though with little +profit, to my experience. The name of this one was NICOLAUS +HIERONYMUS; ours is JAKOB PAUL, the senior brother,--once the hope +of the House, it is likely, and a fond Father's pride,--in that +poor old Nurnberg Parsonage long ago! + +Jakob Paul likewise continued to write Books, on Brandenburg +Heraldries, Topography, Genealogies: even a "LIFE" or two of some +old Brandenburg Electors are still extant from his hand; but not +looked at now by any mortal. He had been, perhaps was again, +Historiographer Royal; and felt bound to write such Books: several +of them he printed; and we hear of others still manuscript, "in +five folio volumes written fair." He held innumerable half-mock +Titles and Offices; among others, was actual President of the +Berlin Royal Society, or ACADEMIE DES SCIENCES, Leibnitz's pet +daughter,--there Gundling actually sat in Office; and drew the +salary, for one certainty. "As good he as another," thought +Friedrich Wilhelm: "What is the use of these solemn fellows, in +their big perukes, with their crabbed X+Y's, and scientiflc +Pedler's-French; doing nothing that I can see, except annually the +<italic> Berlin Almanac, <end italic> which they live upon? +Let them live upon it, and be thankful; with Gundling for their +head man." + +Academy of Sciences makes its ALMANAC, and some peculium of profit +by it; lectures perhaps a little "on Anatomy" (good for something, +that, in his Majesty's mind); but languishes--without +encouragement during the present reign. Has his Majesty no prize +questions to propose, then? None, or worse. He once officially put +these learned Associates upon ascertaining for him "Why Champagne +foamed?" They, with a hidden vein of pleasantry, required +"material to experiment upon." Friedrich Wilhelm sent them a +dozen, or certain dozens; and the matter proved insoluble to this +day. No King, scarcely any man, had less of reverence for the +Sciences so called; for Academic culture, and the art of the +Talking-Schoolmaster in general! A King obtuse to the fine Arts, +especially to the vocal Arts, in a high degree. Literary fame +itself he regards as mountebank fame; the art of writing big +admirable folios is little better to him than that of vomiting +long coils of wonderful ribbon, for the idlers of the +market-place; and he bear-baits his Gundling, in this manner, +as phosphorescent blockhead of the first magnitude, worthy +of nothing better. + +Nay, it is but lately (1723 the exact year) that he did his +ever-memorable feat in regard to Wolf and his Philosophy, at +Halle. Illustrious Wolf was recognized, at that time, as the +second greater Leibnitz, and Head-Philosopher of Nature, who "by +mathematical method" had as it were taken Nature in the fact, and +illuminated everything, so that whosoever ran might read,--which +all manner of people then tried to do, but, have now quite ceased +trying "by the Wolf-method:"--Immortal Wolf, somewhat of a stiff, +reserved humor, inwardly a little proud, and not wanting in +private contempt of the contemptible, had been accused of +heterodoxy by the Halle Theologians. Immortal Wolf, croakily +satirical withal, had of course defended himself; and of course +got into a shoreless sea of controversy with the Halle +Theologians; pestering his Majesty with mere wars, and rumors of +war, for a length of time, from that Halle University. +[In Busching (<italic> Beitrage, <end italic> i. l-140) is rough +authentic account of Wolf, and especially of all that,--with +several curious LETTERS of Wolf's.] So that Majesty, unable to +distinguish top or bottom in such a coil of argument; or to do +justice in the case, however willing and anxious, often +passionately asked: "What, in God's name, is the real truth of +it?" Majesty appointed Commissions to inquire; read Reports; +could for a long while make out nothing certain. At last came a +decision on the sudden;--royal mind suddenly illuminated, it is a +little uncertain how. Some give the credit of it to Gundling, +which is unlikely; others to "Two Generals" of piouis orthodox +turn, acquainted with Halle;--and I have heard obscurely that it +was the Old Dessauer, who also knew Halle; and was no doubt +wearied to hear nothing talked of there but injured Philosopher +Wolf, and injuring Theologian Lange, or VICE VERSA. Some practical +military man, not given to take up with shadows, it likeliest was. +"In God's name, what is the real truth of all that?" inquired his +Majesty, of the practical man: "DOES Wolf teach hellish doctrines; +as Lange says, or heavenly, as himself says?" "Teaches babble +mainly, I should think, and scientific Pedler's French," intimated +the practical man: "But they say he has one doctrine about oaths, +and what he calls foundation of duty, which I did not like. Not a +heavenly doctrine that. Follow out that, any of your Majesty's +grenadiers might desert, and say he had done no sin against God!" +[Busching, i. 8; Benekendorf, <italic> Karakterzilge aus dem Leben +Konig Friedrich Wilhelm I. <end italic> (Anonymous, Berlin, 1787), +ii. 23.] Friedrich Wilhelm flew into a paroxysm of horror; +instantly redacted brief Royal Decree [15th November (Busching +says 8th), 1723.] (which is still extant among the curiosities of +the Universe), ordering Wolf to quit Halle and the Prussian +Dominions, bag and baggage, forevermore, within eighb-and-forty +hours, "BEY STRAFE DES STRANGES, under pain of the halter!" + +Halter: the Head-Philosopher of Nature, found too late, will be +hanged, as if he were a sheep-stealer; hanged, and no mistake! +Poor Wolf gathered himself together, wife and baggage; girded up +his loins; and ran with the due despatch. He is now found +sheltered under Hessen-Darmstadt, at Marburg, professing something +there; and all the intellect of the world is struck with +astonishment, and with silent or vocal pity for the poor man.-- +It is but fair to say, Friedrich Wilhelm, gradually taking notice +of the world's humor in regard to this, began to have his own +misgivings; and determined to read some of Wolf's Books for +himself. Reading in Wolf, he had sense to discern that here was a +man of undeniable talent and integrity; that the Practical +Military judgment, loading with the iron ramrod, had shot wide of +the mark, in this matter; and, in short, that a palpable bit of +foul-play had been done. This was in 1733;--ten years after the +shot, when his Majesty saw, with his own eyes, how wide it had +gone. He applied to Wolf earnestly, more than once, to come back +to him: Halle, Frankfurt, any Prussian University with a vacancy +in it, was now wide open to Wolf. But Wolf knew better: Wolf, with +bows down to the ground, answered always evadingly;--and never +would come back till the New Reign began. + +Friedrich Wilhelm knew little of Book-learning or Book-writing; +and his notion of it is very shocking to us. But the fact is, +O reader, Book-writing is of two kinds: one wise, and may be among +the wisest of earthly things; the other foolish, sometimes far +beyond what can be reached by human nature elsewhere. +Blockheadism, Unwisdom, while silent, is reckoned bad; +but Blockheadism getting vocal, able to speak persuasively,--have +you considered that at all? Human Opacity falling into +Phosphorescence; that is to say, becoming luminous (to itself and +to many mortals) by the very excess of it, by the very bursting of +it into putrid fermentation;--all other forms of Chaos are cosmic +in comparison!--Our poor Friedrich Wilhelm had seen only Gundlings +among the Book-writing class: had he seen wiser specimens, he +might have formed, as he did in Wolf's case, another judgment. +Nay in regard to Gundling himself, it is observable how, with his +unutterable contempt, he seems to notice in him glimpses of the +admirable (such acquirements, such dictionary-faculties, though +gone distracted!),--and almost has a kind of love for the absurd +dog. Gundling's pensions amount to something like 150 pounds; +an immense sum in this Court. [Forster, i. 263, 284 (if you can +RECONCILE the two passages).] A blockhead admirable in some sorts; +and of immense resource in Tobaoco-Parliament when business +is slack!-- + +No end to the wild pranks, the Houyhnhnm horse-play they had with +drunken Gundling. He has staggered out in a drunk state, and +found, or not clearly FOUND till the morrow, young bears lying in +his bed;--has found his room-door walled up; been obliged to grope +about, staggering from door to door and from port to port, and +land ultimately in the big Bears' den, who hugged and squeezed him +inhumanly there. Once at Wusterhausen, staggering blind-drunk out +of the Schloss towards his lair, the sentries at the Bridge +(instigated to it by the Houyhnhnms, who look on) pretend to +fasten some military blame on him: Why has he omitted or committed +so-and-so? Gundling's drunk answer is unsatisfactory. "Arrest, +Herr Kammerrath, is it to be that, then!" They hustle him about, +among the Bears which lodge there;--at length they lay him +horizontally across two ropes;--take to swinging him hither and +thither, up and down, across the black Acherontic Ditch, which is +frozen over, it being the dead of winter: one of the ropes, LOWER +rope, breaks; Gundling comes souse upon the ice with his +sitting-part; breaks a big hole in the ice, and scarcely with +legs, arms and the remaining rope, can be got out undrowned. +[Forster (i. 254-280); founding, I suppose, on <italic> Leben und +Thaten des Freiherrn Paul von Gundling <end italic> (Berlin, +1795); probably not one of the exactest Biographies.] + +If, with natural indignation, he shut his door, and refuse to come +to the Tabagie, they knock in a panel of his door; and force him +out with crackers, fire-works, rockets and malodorous projectiles. +Once the poor blockhead, becoming human for a moment, went clean +away; to Halle where his Brother was, or to some safer place: +but the due inveiglements, sublime apologies, increase of titles, +salaries, were used; and the indispensable Phosphorescent +Blockhead, and President of the Academy of Pedler's-French, was +got back. Drink remained always as his consolation; drink, and the +deathless Volumes he was writing and printing. Sublime returns +came to him;--Kaiser's Portrait set in diamonds, on one occasion, +--for his Presentation-Copies in high quarters: immortal fame, is +it not his clear portion; still more clearly abundance of good +wine. Friedrich Wilhelm did not let him want for Titles;--raised +him at last to the Peerage; drawing out the Diploma and Armorial +Blazonry, in a truly Friedrich-Wilhelm manner, with his own hand. +The Gundlings, in virtue of the transcendent intellect and merits +of this Founder Gundling, are, and are hereby declared to be, of +Baronial dignity to the last scion of them; and in "all +RITTER-RENNEN (Tournaments), Battles, Fights, Camp-pitchings, +Sealings, Siguetings, shall and may use the above-said Shield of +Arms,"--if it can be of any advantage to them. A Prussian Majesty +who gives us 150 pounds yearly, with board and lodging and the run +of his cellar, and honors such as these, is not to be lightly +sneezed away, though of queer humors now and then. The highest +Personages, as we said, more than once made gifts to Gundling; +miniatures set in diamonds; purses of a hundred ducats: +even Gundling, it was thought, might throw in a word, mad or +otherwise, which would bear fruit. It was said of him, he never +spoke to harm anybody with his Majesty. The poor blown-up +blockhead was radically not ill-natured,--at least, if you let his +"phosphorescences" alone. + +But the grandest explosious, in Tobacco-Parliament, were +producible, when you got Two literary fools; and, as if with +Leyden-jars, positive and negative, brought their vanities to bear +on one another. This sometimes happened, when Tobacbo-Parliament +was in luck. Friedrich Wilhelm had a variety of Merry-Andrew Raths +of the Gundling sort, though none ever came up to Gundling, or +approached him, in worth as a Merry-Andrew. + +Herr Fassmann, who wrote Books, by Patronage or for the Leipzig +Booksellers, and wandered about the world as a star or comet of +some magnitude, is not much known to my readers:--but he is too +well known to me, for certain dark Books of his which I have had +to read. [<italic> Life of Friedrich Wilhelm, <end italic> +occasionally cited here; <italic> Life of August the Strong; +<end italic> &c.] A very dim Literary Figure; undeniable, +indecipherable Human Fact, of those days; now fallen quite extinct +and obsolete; his garniture, equipment, environment all very dark +to us. Probably a too restless, imponderous creature, too much of +the Gundling type; structure of him GASEOUS, not solid; Perhaps a +little of the coxcomb naturally; much of the sycophant on +compulsion,--being sorely jammed into corners, and without +elbow-room at all, in this world. Has, for the rest, a +recognizable talent for "Magazine writing,"--for Newspaper +editing, had that rich mine, "California of the Spiritually +Vagabond," been opened in those days. Poor extinct Fassmann, one +discovers at last a vein of weak geniality in him; here and there, +real human sense and eyesight, under those strange conditions; +and his poor Books, rotted now to inanity, have left a small +seed-pearl or two, to the earnest reader. Alas, if he WAS to +become "spiritually vagabond" ("spiritually" and otherwise), +might it not perhaps be wholesome to him that the California +was NOT discovered?-- + +Fassmann was by no means such a fool as Gundling; but, he was much +of a fool too. He had come to Berlin, about this time, [1726, as +he himself says (supra p. 8).] in hopes of patronage from the King +or somebody; might say to himself, "Surely I am a better man than +Gundling, if the Berlin Court has eyesight." By the King, on some +wise General's recommending it, he was, as a preliminary, +introduced to the Tabagie at least. Here is the celebrated +Gundling; there is the celebrated Fassmann. Positive Leyden-jar, +with negative close by: in each of these two men lodges a +full-charged fiery electric virtue of self-conceit; destructive +each of the other;--could a conductor be discovered. +Conductors are discoverable, conductors are not wanting; and many +are the explosions between these mutually-destructive human +varieties;--welcomed with hilarious, rather vacant, huge +horse-laughter, in this Tobacco-Parliament and Synod of +the Houyhnhnms. + +Of which take this acme; and then end. Fassmann, a fellow not +without sarcasm and sharpness, as you may still see, has one +evening provoked Gundling to the transcendent pitch,--till words +are weak, and only action will answer. Gundling, driven to the +exploding point, suddenly seizes his Dutch smoking-pan, of +peat-charcoal ashes and red-hot sand; and dashes it in the face of +Fassmann; who is of course dreadfully astonished thereby, and has +got his very eyebrows burnt, not to speak of other injuries. +Stand to him, Fassmann! Fassmann stands to him tightly, being the +better man as well as the more satirical; grasps Gundling by the +collar, wrenches him about, lays him at last over his knee, +sitting-part uppermost; slaps said sitting-part (poor sitting-part +that had broken the ice of Wusterhausen) with the hot pan,--nay +some say, strips it and slaps. Amid the inextinguishable +horse-laughter (sincere but vacant) of the Houyhnhnm Olympus. + +After which, his Majesty, as epilogue to such play, suggests, That +feats of that nature are unseemly among gentlemen; that when +gentlemen have a quarrel, there is another way of settling it. +Fassmann thereupon challenges Gundling; Gundling accepts; time and +place are settled, pistols the weapon. At the appointed time and +place Gundling stands, accordingly, pistol in hand; but at sight +of Fassmann, throws his pistol away; will not shoot any man, nor +have any man shoot him. Fassmann sternly advances; shoots his +pistol (powder merely) into Gundling's sublime goat's-hair wig: +wig blazes into flame; Gundling falls shrieking, a dead man, to +the earth; and they quench and revive him with a bucket of water. +Was there ever seen such horse-play? Roaring laughter, huge, rude, +and somewhat vacant, as that of the Norse gods over their ale at +Yule time;--as if the face of the Sphinx were to wrinkle itself in +laughter; or the fabulous Houyhnhnms themselves were there to mock +in their peculiar fashion. + +His Majesty at length gave Gundling a wine-cask, duly figured; +"painted black with a white cross," which was to stand in his room +as MEMENTO-MORI, and be his coffin. It stood for ten years; +Gundling often sitting to write in it; a good screen against +draughts. And the poor monster was actually buried in this cask; +[Died 11th April, 1731, age 58: description of the Burial "at +Bornstadt near Potsdam," in Forster, i. 276.] Fassmann pronouncing +some funeral oration,--and the orthodox clergy uttering, from the +distance, only a mute groan. "The Herr Baron von Gundling was a +man of many dignities, of much Book-learning; a man of great +memory," admits Fassmann, "but of no judgment," insinuates he,-- +LOOKING FOR the Judgment (EXPECTANS JUDICIUM)," says Fassmann, +with a pleasant wit. Fassmann succeeded to all the emoluments and +honors; but did not hold them; preferred to run away before long: +and after him came one and the other, whom the reader is not to be +troubled with here. Enough if the patient reader have seen, a +little, into that background of Friedrich Wilhelm's existence; +and, for the didactic part, have caught up his real views or +instincts upon Spiritual Phosphorescence, or Stupidity grown +Vocal, which are much sounder than most of us suspect. + +These were the sports of the Tobacco-Parliament; and it was always +meant primarily for sport, for recreation: but there is no doubt +it had a serious function as well. "Business matters," adds +Beneckendorf, who had means of knowing, [Benekendorf, <italic> +Karakterzuge, <end italic> i. 137-149; vi. 37.] "were often a +subject of colloquy in the TABAKS-COLLEGIUM. Not that they were +there finished off, decided upon, or meant to be so. But Friedrich +Wilhelm often purposely brought up such things in conversation +there, that he might learn the different opinions of his generals +and chief men, without their observing it,"--and so might profit +by the Collective Wisdom, in short. + + + +Chapter VIII. + +SECKENDORF'S RETORT TO HER MAJESTY. + +The Treaty of Wusterhausen was not yet known to Queen Sophie, to +her Father George, or to any external creature: but that open +flinching, and gradual withdrawal, from the Treaty of Hanover was +too well known; and boded no good to her pet project. Female +sighs, male obduracies, and other domestic phenomena, are to be +imagined in consequence. "A grand Britannic Majesty indeed; +very lofty Father to us, Madam, ever since he came to be King of +England: Stalking along there, with his nose in the air; +not deigning the least notice of us, except as of a thing that may +be got to fight for him! And he does not sign the Double-Marriage +Treaty, Madam; only talks of signing it,--as if we were a starved +coach-horse, to be quickened along by a wisp of hay put upon the +coach-pole close ahead of us always!"--"JARNI-BLEU!" snuffles +Seckendorf with a virtuous zeal, or looks it; and things are not +pleasant at the royal dinner-table. + +Excellenz Seckendorf, we find at this time, "often has his Majesty +to dinner:" and such dinners; fitting one's tastes in all points, +--no expense regarded (which indeed is the Kaiser's, if we knew +it)! And in return, Excellenz is frequently at dinner with his +Majesty; where the conversation; if it turn on England, which +often happens, is more and more an offence to Queen Sophie. +Seckendorf studies to be polite, reserved before the Queen's +Majesty at her own table; yet sometimes he lisps out, in his vile +snuffling tone, half-insinuations, remarks on our Royal Kindred, +which are irritating in the extreme. Queen Sophie, the politest of +women, did once, says Pollnitz, on some excessive pressure of that +lisping snuffling unendurability, lose her royal patience and +flame out. With human frankness, and uncommonly kindled eyes, she +signified to Seckendorf, That none who was not himself a kind of +scoundrel could entertain such thoughts of Kings and gentlemen! +Which hard saying kindled the stiff-backed rheumatic soul of +Seckendorf (Excellenz had withal a temper in him, far down in the +deeps); who answered: "Your Majesty, that is what no one else +thinks of me. That is a name I have never permitted any one to +give me with impunity." And verily, he kept his threat in that +latter point, says Pollnitz. [ii. 244.] + +At this stage, it is becoming, in the nature of things, unlikely +that the projected Double-Marriage, or any union with England, can +ever realize itself for Queen Sophie and her House. The Kaiser has +decreed that it never shall. Here is the King already irritated, +grown indisposed to it; here is the Kaiser's Seckendorf, with +preternatural Apparatus, come to maintain him in that humor. +To Queen Sophie herself, who saw only the outside of Seckendorf +and his Apparatus, the matter doubtless seemed big with +difficulties; but to us, who see the interior, the difficulties +are plainly hopeless. Unless the Kaiser's mind change, unless many +fixed things change, the Double-Marriage is impossible. + +One thing only is a sorrow; and this proved an immeasurable one: +That they did not, that Queen Sophie did not, in such case, +frankly give it up: Double-Marriage is not a law of Nature; it is +only a project at Hanover that has gone off again. There will be a +life for our Crown-Prince, and Princess, without a marriage with +England!-It is greatly wise to recognize the impossible, the +unreasonably difficult, when it presents itself: but who of men is +there, much more who of women that can always do it? + +Queen Sophie Dorothee will have this Double-Marriage, and it shall +be possible. Pour Lady, she was very obstinate; and her Husband +was very arbitrary. A rough bear of a Husband, yet by no means an +unloving one; a Husband who might have been managed. She evidently +made a great mistake in deciding not to obey this man; as she had +once vowed. By perfect prompt obedience she might have had a very +tolerable life with the rugged Orson fallen to her lot; who was a +very honest-hearted creature. She might have done a pretty stroke +of female work, withal, in taming her Orson; might have led him by +the muzzle far enough in a private way,--by obedience. + +But by disobedience, by rebellion open or secret? Friedrich +Wilhelm was a Husband; Friedrich Wilhelm was a King; and the most +imperative man then breathing. Disobedience to Friedrich Wilhelm +was a thing which, in the Prussian State, still more in the Berlin +Schloss and vital heart of said State, the laws of Heaven and of +Earth had not permitted, for any man's or any woman's sake, to be. +The wide overarching sky looks down on no more inflexible +Sovereign Man than him in the red-collared blue coat and white +leggings, with the bamboo in his hand. A peaceable, capacious, not +ill-given Sovereign Man, if you will let him have his way. But to +bar his way; to tweak the nose of his sovereign royalty, and +ignominiously force him into another way: that is an enterprise no +man or devil, or body of men or devils, need attempt. +Seckendorf and Grumkow, in Tobacco-Parliament, understand it +better. That attempt is impossible, once for all. The first step +in such attempt will require to be assassination of Friedrich +Wilhelm; for you may depend on it, royal Sophie, so long as he is +alive, the feat cannot be done. O royal Sophie, O pretty Feekin, +what a business you are making of it! + +The year 1726 was throughout a troublous one to Queen Sophie. +Seckendorf's advent; King George's manifestoing; alarm of imminent +universal War, nay sputters of it actually beginning (Gibraltar +invested by the Spaniards, ready for besieging, it is said): +nor was this all. Sophie's poor Mother, worn to a tragic Megaera, +locked so long in the Castle of Ahlden, has taken up wild plans of +outbreak, of escape by means of secretaries, moneys in the Bank of +Amsterdam, and I know not what; with all which Sophie, +corresponding in double and triple mystery, has her own terrors +and sorrows, trying to keep it down. And now, in the depth of the +year, the poor old Mother suddenly dies. [13th November, 1726: +<italic> Memoirs of Sophia Dorothea, Consort of George I. <end +italic> (i. 386),--where alao some of her concluding Letters +("edited" as if by the Nightmares) can be read, but next to no +sense made of them.] Burnt out in this manner, she collapses into +ashes and long rest; closing so her nameless tragedy of thirty +years' continuance:--what a Bluebeard-chamber in the mind of +Sophie! Nay there rise quarrels about the Heritage of the +Deceased, which will prove another sorrow. + + + +END OF BOOK V + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Etext History of Friedrich II of Prussia V 5 + diff --git a/old/05frd10.zip b/old/05frd10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b72144 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/05frd10.zip |