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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of She and I, Volume 2, by John Conroy Hutcheson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: She and I, Volume 2
+       A Love Story. A Life History.
+
+Author: John Conroy Hutcheson
+
+Release Date: April 16, 2007 [EBook #21096]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SHE AND I, VOLUME 2 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England
+
+
+
+
+She and I. A Love Story. A Life History. Volume Two.
+
+by John Conroy Hutcheson
+________________________________________________________________
+In Volume Two we have much the same personnel as in Volume One; the
+vicar and his sister Miss Pimpernell; Lady Dasher and her two daughters;
+Miss Spight and Mawley the curate; Min and Mrs Clyde; Catch the dog.
+Having set the scene in Volume One, Hutcheson goes on to weave a
+beautiful story round the love-affair between the hero, Lorton, and Min,
+she with the admirable grey eyes.  We will not tell you how it
+fared--you must find that out for yourself.
+
+While I think the story was well-written, and it makes a very good
+audiobook to listen to, Hutcheson is still up to his tricks.  Just to
+prove how brainy he is, he quotes extensively from French, German,
+Italian, Latin, and even in one place, Greek.  In these days when our
+educations have been so dummed down, I find this unhelpful.  To read a
+quotation from a good English poet is a joy and a pleasure, so why go
+elsewhere for a poetic quotation, except it be to show off.
+
+As in Volume One, Hutcheson sometimes invents words never seen
+elsewhere, but for which there is a good word in current use, but spelt
+slightly differently.  And his punctuation is weird, too.  I
+particularly dislike the dashes in his speech paragraphs, something like
+the following:
+
+"Hello,"--said the vicar;--"what a nice day it is."
+
+I have left these in, though I've corrected the novel spelling whenever
+possible.
+________________________________________________________________
+SHE AND I. A LOVE STORY. A LIFE HISTORY. VOLUME TWO.
+
+BY JOHN CONROY HUTCHESON
+
+
+
+CHAPTER ONE.
+
+I DREAM.
+
+  True, I talk of dreams;
+  Which are the children of an idle brain,
+  Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,
+  Which is as thin of substance as the air;
+  And more inconstant than the wind, who woos
+  Even now the frozen bosom of the north,
+  And, being anger'd, puffs away from thence,
+  Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.
+
+  Il est naturel que nos idees les plus vives et les plus familieres se
+  retracent pendant le sommeil.
+
+I had a most curious dream about Min that very night.
+
+Probably this was owing to the reactionary mental relief I experienced
+after all my doubts and jealousies--you know, "joie fait peur"
+sometimes.  It might also have resulted from the stronger impression
+which my last interview with her had made upon my mind, coupled with all
+the sweet hopes and darling imaginings that had sprung suddenly into
+existence, when her rose-red lips told me in liquid accents that she
+loved me.  How deliciously the words had sounded!  I seemed to hear them
+now once more; and, that kiss of ecstasy--I almost felt it again in all
+its passionate intensity!
+
+But, the physiology of dreams, and their origin and connection with our
+day life, are subjects that have never been clearly explained,
+frequently investigated though they have been by intellects that have
+groped to the bottom of almost every phenomenal possibility in the
+finite world.  We have not yet succeeded in piercing through the thick
+veil that hides from our gaze the unseen, ideal, and spiritual cosmos
+that surrounds, with its ghostly atmosphere, the more material universe
+in which we move and breathe and have our being.  We are oblivious, in
+most cases, of that thought-peopled, encircling essence; although, it
+influences our motives and actions, perhaps, in a greater degree than we
+may be willing to allow.
+
+I shall not attempt to solve the workings of the varied phantasmagoria
+that flitted across the horizon of my brain that night, curious as they
+were; nor, will I try to track out how, and in what way, they retraced
+the events of the past, and prognosticated the possibilities of the
+future.  The task in either direction would be as hopeless as it is
+uninteresting; consequently, I will abandon it to the attention of more
+inquiring psychological minds than my own, hurrying on to tell what it
+was that I dreamt.
+
+My vision was a threefold one--a series of dreams within dreams.
+
+First, I thought that I was on a wide, whitened Alpine plain.  It was
+night.  In front of me, towered on high the rugged peaks of the
+Matterhorn, imposing in their grandeur; further on, in the illimitable
+distance, I could descry the rounded, snowcapp'd head of Mont Blanc,
+rearing itself heavenward, where the pale, treacherous moon kept her
+silent watch, and from whence the glistening stars twinkled down through
+an ocean of space, touching frosted particles of matter with
+scintillations of light, and making them glitter like diamonds--world-
+old, transparent jewels, set in the cold, ice-blue crown of the eternal
+glacier.
+
+I could thus see myself, gazing through my dream eyes on my _eidolon_,
+as if it were only a reflection in a mirror.  _It_ was walking here on
+this wide Alpine plain, all alone; and I recognised also that I had the
+power to analyse and appreciate the motives by which it was led hither,
+the desires by which it was actuated--the strange thing, being, that I
+felt, within myself, all the thoughts and ideas that must have occurred
+to _my other self_.
+
+At the same time, however, I seemed to be, as it were, but an inactive
+spectator of all that happened; looking on the visionary events of my
+dream as if I had no share or part in them.  I appeared to possess,
+while they occurred, a sort of dual existence, of which I was perfectly
+cognisant, then and afterwards.
+
+I knew that I--my other self--wished to reach the heights of the
+Matterhorn before and above me: the region of perpetual snow.  I
+sympathised with that wish; and yet, I could look on at all my efforts
+to accomplish it, as if I were uninterested in their success, whilst I
+still felt, within myself, all the agony and suspense that must have
+filled the mind of my wraith, I could see myself making repeated
+exertions to reach the heights; constantly climbing, never getting any
+higher.  I appeared to patrol a narrow circle, whose circumference I was
+unable to cross.  Round and round I went, continually striving to get
+upwards and onwards:--still, always finding myself in the same identical
+spot, as if I had not advanced an inch.  I grew tired, weary, exhausted.
+I felt sick at heart and in body.  A nameless, indefinable horror
+seized upon me.
+
+Then, all of a sudden, Min appeared.
+
+She stood on the peaks above me; her figure presented in strong relief
+against the dead, neutral tint of the ice-wall behind her.  I could see
+her face plainly--the look of entreaty in her eyes and the beckoning
+motion of her hands.  She was calling to me, and urging me to join her;
+and--I _could_ not!
+
+A wide crevasse yawned before me, preventing any forward movement.  It
+yawned deep down in front of my feet, fathoms below fathoms, piercing
+down, seemingly, to the centre of the earth.  Looking over its edge I
+could mark how the vaulted arc of heaven and the starry firmament were
+reflected in its bottomless abyss; while, its breadth, seemed
+immeasurable.  I saw that I could not cross it by the path I had
+hitherto pursued; and yet, whenever I turned aside, and tried to reach
+the mountain top by some other way, the horrible crevasse curved its
+course likewise, still confronting me.  It was always before me, to
+arrest my progress.  I could not evade it, I could not overleap it; and
+yet, there stood Min calling to me, and beckoning to me--and, I could
+not join her.  It was maddening!
+
+The moonlight faded.  The twinkling stars went in one by one.  There was
+a subdued darkness for a moment; and then, day appeared to break.
+
+The snowy expanse appeared to blush all over--
+
+  "And on the glimmering limit far withdrawn
+  God made himself an awful rose of dawn."
+
+Did you ever watch an Alpine sunrise?  How the light leaps from peak to
+peak, warming the monotonous white landscape in an instant with a tinge
+of crimson lake, and making the ice prisms sparkle like sapphires!
+
+It was just so in my dream:--not a detail was omitted.
+
+With the brightening of the dawn my troubles began to disappear.  The
+crevasse narrowed, and the distant peaks of the Matterhorn approached
+nearer.  Min was close to me, so close that I could almost touch the
+hand she held out to guide my steps.  I heard her say, "Come, Frank,
+come! courage, and you're safe!"  I was stepping across a thin ice
+bridge, which I suddenly perceived in front of me, leading over the gulf
+that separated us.  I felt her warm, violet breath on my cheek.  I was
+just planting my feet on the further side of the glacier, and going to
+clasp her in my arms, when--the frail platform on which I was crossing
+gave way:--I fell downward through the chasm with a shriek of terror
+that she re-echoed, and--I awoke!
+
+Again, I was in the midst of an arid, sandy desert.  The sun's rays
+seemed to pelt down with blistering intensity on my uncovered head.
+There was not a single tree, nor a scrap of foliage anywhere in sight,
+to afford a moment's shelter:--all was barrenness; parching heat; death!
+
+I felt faint--dying of thirst.  I fancied I could hear the rippling of
+waters near me, the splashing of grateful fountains; but, none could I
+see.  Around me, as I lay stretched on the scorching sands, were only
+sun-baked rocks, and the scattered bones and skeletons of former
+travellers, who had perished by the same dreadful, lingering agony
+through which I was, apparently, doomed to die.
+
+After a time, I thought I could distinguish the murmuring of waters more
+plainly; and, stay--did I not perceive a stately grove of palms in the
+distance?  The water must be there!
+
+I totter to my feet: I bend my feeble steps thither, and sink down
+beneath the welcome shade.  I hear a sweet voice calling to me: I see an
+angel form stretching out a goblet of crystal water to my parching lips;
+and, as I reach my hand forth to grasp it, I see that the face is that
+of Min!  I give vent to a cry of ecstasy; but, at the same moment, the
+goblet falls from my shaking hand, shattering into a thousand pieces on
+the sands of the desert; and--the vision fades away from my gaze.
+
+All is darkness again.  I am awake!
+
+Once more the kaleidoscope of my dream changed.
+
+I am now floating in a battered boat, without either sails or oars, on
+the boundless waters of the ocean.  I can hear the lap, lapping of the
+sobbing sea against the sides of my frail craft; and the ripple of the
+current, hurrying along in its devious course the boat, which is as
+powerless to resist its influence as a straw upon the stream.
+
+Presently the current spins onward faster and more furiously.  I see the
+faint outlines of purple hills breaking the vacant curve of the horizon.
+A delicious fragrance from tropic flowers fills the air--the perfumes
+of the jessamine, the magnolia, the cereus.  A sweet, delicious languor
+creeps over me.  I feel a vague sense of rest and happiness, which, to
+my onlooking self, seems almost unaccountable; for, there am I, still
+all alone on the ocean, swept onward towards the purple hills in the
+distance, over the smooth-flowing surface of azure liquid, while, not a
+sound is to be heard, save the restless murmuring of the many-voiced
+sea.
+
+The boat glides on.
+
+Now I find myself encircled by radiant groups of picturesque coral
+islands, all covered with palm-trees, whose waving branches are entwined
+with varied-hued passion-flowers.  Lilies and ferns, narcissi and
+irises, are intermingled in one chaos of beauty, skirting the velvet
+sward that runs down to the water's edge.
+
+On each tiny islet, the lavish wealth of nature, freely outpoured,
+seemed to make it a perfect paradise.  Brilliantly-plumaged birds
+flitted here and there, their colours contrasting with the green
+foliage.  Gauzy-winged insects buzzed to and fro.  The notes of the
+nightingale, or some kindred songster, could be heard, singing an
+ecstatic soprano to the cooing bass of the dove and the rippling
+obbligato of babbling brooks--that filtered through golden-yellow sands
+into the lap of the mother of waters--amid the sympathetic harmony of
+gushing cascades, whose noisy cadence was toned down by distance to a
+melodious hum.
+
+And now I find that I am alone no longer.
+
+I see Min stepping forward to greet me, advancing down the sloping turf-
+bank of the first island I reach; but, I cannot land.  I cannot touch
+her hand.
+
+No.  The current sweeps my boat onward, past each tiny paradise in turn;
+and, on each, I still see Min always coming towards me, yet never
+reaching me!  Swiftly the boat glides, swiftly and more swift; until, at
+last, Min, the palm-tree-shaded coral islets and all, are lost to
+sight--gradually yet in a moment.
+
+I now seem to be borne along on the tide of a tempestuous torrent,
+through rocky defiles and beneath frowning precipices.
+
+I am in the centre of a cyclone.  The sickly lightning plays around me.
+The thunder mutters--growls--rolls--peals forth--in grand ear-breaking
+crashes, that appear to shake the dense sky overhead; but still,
+whenever the electric coruscations light up the sable darkness, I can
+see Min's face, apparently ever before me, ever inviting me on, ever
+inapproachable!
+
+Anon, the boat glides back into the ocean again.  Soon after, I find
+myself floating amongst an army of icebergs, all glittering with
+distinct gradations of tint, from that of pale sea-green up to intense
+blue.  In front of me stretches a frozen field of hummocky ice, like
+that I had seen in my first vision.
+
+There, too, stands Min.  The current is bearing me to her; but, again,
+ere I can touch the spot where she stands, my boat careens heavily
+against a drifting berg, and is dashed to pieces.
+
+Instead of sinking in the water, however, I feel myself floating in air.
+The atmosphere that encircles me is all rosy illumination, as it had
+been during the Alpine sunrise.  I hear the most beautiful, heavenly
+music, and the sound as of many voices singing together in the sweetest
+of harmonies.
+
+I see the gilded domes and minarets of a wondrous city that seems to be
+built in the centre of the zenith.  I am wafted nearer and nearer to it,
+borne up on the pinions of the air.  And, now, I can discern its golden
+gates!
+
+There, stands Min, again, before them.  She is clothed all in a white
+garment, that gives out a radiance as of light; while, on her head is a
+jewelled crown, fashioned in the shape of olive leaves and fastened in
+front with a single diamond star, whose beams almost blind me.  Both her
+outstretched hands are extended to greet me.  A loving smile is on her
+lips, in her eyes.  I can hear the beautiful music chiming louder and
+louder; the harmony of the voice-chorus echoing more and more
+distinctly; I am on the threshold of the golden gates; I am just
+clasping Min's outstretched welcoming hands with oh, such a fond,
+enduring clasp; when--I awake.
+
+This time my reveil is in real earnest:--the vision had passed!
+
+It is broad daylight; and, a bright summer morning.
+
+The London sparrows are chirping away at a fine rate in the garden.  I
+fancy, too, that I can hear my favourite thrush in the distance.
+
+Dog Catch, also, is whining and scratching at my door to tell me that it
+is time for me to get up, and take him out for his walk.
+
+And, then, I recollect all.
+
+I realise that I've only been dreaming; although, I almost believe that
+I can see Min's dear face and outstretched arms still before me.
+
+Of course, it was only a dream.
+
+But, curious, wasn't it?
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWO.
+
+MANOEUVRING.
+
+  O! slippery state of things.  What sudden turns,
+  What strange vicissitudes in the first leaf
+  Of man's sad history.  To-day most happy,
+  And ere to-morrow's sun has set, most abject!
+  How scant the space between these vast extremes.
+
+The recollection of my strange visions which, I confess, somewhat
+affected me on my first waking, I put off from me at once.  What were
+they, after all, but dreams, "begot of nothing but vain fantasy?"
+
+I reasoned thus, philosophically, reflectively, rationally, within
+myself, as I dressed.
+
+I determined to dismiss the matter from my thought at once; for, even if
+it prognosticated anything and was intended to withdraw the veil from
+futurity, it ought only to convince me of one fact, or fancy, namely,
+that, notwithstanding that I might have a hard struggle to win my
+darling, I should win her in the end:--that, also, in spite of
+antagonistic mammas and contrary circumstances, she would then be my
+own, my very own Min!
+
+Would you not have thought the same in a like case?
+
+I trow, yes!
+
+I will not deny that I expended the most elaborate pains on my toilet
+that afternoon, before waiting upon Mrs Clyde in accordance with my
+promise to Min.  I did not otherwise comply fully with the essential
+requirements of Madame la Comtesse de Bassanville's _Code Complet du
+Ceremonial_--such as causing an influential friend, who could speak of
+my morals and position, to have a previous audience with "the
+responsible relation" of "the young person who had attracted my notice;"
+nor, did I don a pair of "light fresh-butter-coloured kid gloves."
+Still, I undoubtedly betrayed a considerable nicety of apparel all the
+same.
+
+Indeed, I absolutely out-Hornered Horner; and, had anybody detected me
+when engaged in the mysteries of the dressing-room, I would certainly
+have been supposed to have been as anxiously considerate respecting the
+choice I should make between light trousers and dark, a black coat and a
+blue one, and whether I would wear a white waistcoat or not, as a young
+lady costuming herself for a ball, and debating with her maid the rival
+merits of blush roses and pink silk, or of white tarlatan and clematis.
+
+It was, also, some time ere I could summon up enough resolution to knock
+at the door of Mrs Clyde's residence, when, my decorative preparations
+accomplished, I at length succeeded in getting round to her house.
+
+The expedition strangely reminded me of a visit I was once forced to pay
+to a dentist, owing to the misdeeds of one of my best molars; the dread
+of the impending interview almost inducing me to turn back on the
+threshold and put off my painful purpose for a while--even as had been
+my course of procedure when calling at Signor Odonto's agonising
+establishment.  On that occasion, I remember, I recoiled in fright from
+the dreaded ordeal, seeking refuge in "instant flight."
+
+I could not do so now, however.  I had promised Min to speak to her
+mother as soon as possible; and, independently of that engagement, the
+interview would have to be gone through sooner or later, at all hazards.
+"An' it were done quickly, it were well done;" so, at last, my
+hesitation passed away under the influence of this, really vital,
+consideration.  I nerved myself up to the knocking point.  I gave a loud
+rat, tat, tat! that thrilled through my very boots, causing a passing
+butcher's boy, awed by its important sound, to inquire, with the cynical
+empressement of his race, whether I thought myself the "Emperoar of
+Rooshia."  I turned my back on him with contempt; but, his ribald remark
+made me feel all the more nervous.
+
+"Mrs Clyde at home?"  I asked of the handmaiden, who answered my
+summons.
+
+Yes, Mrs Clyde was at home.
+
+Would I walk in?
+
+I would; and did.
+
+So far, all was plain sailing:--now, came the tug of war.
+
+Mrs Clyde was standing up, facing the door, as I entered the drawing-
+room into which the handmaiden had ushered me.
+
+"Won't you sit down, Mr Lorton?" she said, politely.
+
+She never forgot her good breeding; and, I verily believe, if it had
+ever been her lot to officiate in Calcraft's place, she would have asked
+the culprit, whom she was about to hasten on his way to "kingdom come,"
+whether he found the fatal noose too tight, or comfortable and easy,
+around his doomed neck!  She would do this, too, I'm sure, with the most
+charming solicitude possible!
+
+I noticed of her, that, whenever she was bent on using her sharpest
+weapons--of "society's" armoury and, methinks, the devil's forge-mark!--
+she always put on an extra gloss of politeness over her normal smooth
+and varnished style of address.
+
+I didn't like it, either.
+
+Civility may be all very well in its way, but I cannot say that I admire
+that way of knocking a man down with a kid glove.  It is a treacherous
+mode of attack; and very much resembles the plan Mr Chucks, the
+boatswain in _Peter Simple_, used to adopt when correcting the ship's
+boys.
+
+That gentleman would, if you recollect, courteously beckon an offender
+to approach him, doffing his hat the while as if speaking to the
+quarter-deck; and then, begging the trembling youngster's pardon for
+detaining him, would proceed to inform him in the "politest and most
+genteel manner in the world" that he was "the d---d son of a sea
+cook,"--subsequently rattaning him furiously, amidst a plethora of
+expletives before which the worst Billingsgate faded into
+insignificance.
+
+I may be singular in the fancy, but, do you know, I prefer civil words
+to be accompanied with civil deeds, and contrariwise:--the "poison of
+asps" does not go well with honied accents!
+
+"Pray take a seat, Mr Lorton," said Mrs Clyde.  "I was expecting you
+to call; and waited in, on purpose not to miss seeing you.  My daughter
+has told me,"--she went on, taking the initiative, ere I had a chance to
+speak--cutting the ground from under my feet, as it were, and rendering
+my task each moment more arduous--"My daughter has told me that she and
+you were talking some nonsense together last night, which it is best for
+all parties, my dear Mr Lorton, should be at once forgotten!  You'll
+agree with me, I'm sure?"
+
+And she looked at me with a steady gaze of determination and set purpose
+in her eyes, before which I quailed.
+
+"You will agree with me, I'm sure, Mr Lorton,"--she repeated again,
+after a pause, as I was so bewildered by her flank attack that I could
+not get out a word at first.  I declare to you, I only sat looking at
+her in hopeless dismay, powerless--idiotic, in fact!
+
+"But I love Min, Mrs Clyde,"--I stammered--"and she has promised--"
+
+"Dear me!  This is quite delicious," laughed Mrs Clyde--a cold sneering
+laugh, which made me shiver as if cold water were running down my
+back--"quite a comedy, I do declare, Mr Lorton.  I did not think you
+were so good an actor.  Love!  Ha, ha, ha!" and she gave forth a merry
+peal--to my intense enjoyment, you may be sure.
+
+Oh, yes!  I enjoyed it, without doubt:--it was dreadfully comical!
+
+"It is no laughing matter to me, Mrs Clyde," I replied at last,
+emboldened by her ridicule--"I love Min; and she has promised to marry
+me, if you will only give your consent, which I have come to ask to-
+day."
+
+I got up as I spoke, and faced her.
+
+I was prepared to do battle till the death.  Desperation had now made me
+brave.
+
+"Now, _do_ let us be serious," said the lady, presently.
+
+She apparently found it difficult to stifle her laughter at the humour
+of the whole thing:--it was really such a very good joke!
+
+"I _am_ serious, Mrs Clyde," I said, half-petulantly, although I tried
+to be impressive.  I was solemn enough over it all; but, my temper has
+always been, unfortunately for me, too easily provoked.
+
+"I never heard of such a thing in my life," she continued, taking no
+notice, apparently, either of me or of my answer.  "Fancy, any sane
+person talking of love and marriage between a boy and girl like that!
+You must be joking, Mr Lorton.  Really, it is too absurd to be
+credible!" and she affected a laugh again, in her provoking way.
+
+A capital joke, wasn't it?
+
+"I am not joking, I assure you, Mrs Clyde," I answered sturdily,
+endeavouring, vainly, to bear down her raillery by my gravity.  "I was
+never more serious in my life.  I'm not a boy, Mrs Clyde; and I'm sure
+Min is old enough to know her own mind, too!"
+
+This was an impertinent addendum on my part; and, my opponent quickly
+retorted, with a thrust, which recalled my good manners.
+
+"You are very good to say so, Mr Lorton; but permit _me_ to judge best
+in that matter!  Pray, how old are you, Mr Lorton, if I may be allowed
+to ask the question?"--she said, looking at me with great "society"
+interest, as if she were examining a specimen of the extinct dodo.
+
+"Three-and-twenty," I said sententiously, like a catechumen responding
+to the questions supposed to be addressed to "N or M."
+
+"Dear me!" she ejaculated in seeming surprise.  "Three--and--twenty?  I
+really would not have thought it!  I wouldn't have taken you to be more
+than eighteen at the outside!"
+
+She hit me on my tenderest point.  I looked young for my age; and, like
+most young fellows, before time teaches them wisdom, making them strive
+to disguise the effect of each additional lustrum, I felt sore always
+when supposed to be more youthful than I actually was.  I was,
+consequently, nettled at her remarks.  She saw this, and smiled in
+amusement.
+
+"I _am_ twenty-three, however, Mrs Clyde, I assure you," I said warmly;
+"old enough to get married, I suppose!"
+
+"That entirely depends on circumstances," she said coldly, as if the
+matter was of no interest to her whatever; "years are no criterion for
+judgment"--and she then stopped, throwing the burden of the next move on
+my shoulders.
+
+I did not hesitate any longer, however.
+
+"Will you allow Min to become engaged to me?"  I said, valiantly,
+plunging at once into the thick of the combat.
+
+"Pray, Mr Lorton," she replied, ignoring my query, "what means have you
+for supporting a wife?  People cannot live upon nothing, you know; and
+`love in a cottage' is an exploded fallacy."
+
+She spoke as lightly and pleasantly as if she were conversing upon some
+ordinary society topic with another lady of the world like herself.  She
+very well knew what she was about, however.  She was "developing her
+main attack"--as military strategists would say!
+
+You see, I had never given the subject of ways and means an instant's
+consideration, having remitted the matter to Providence with that
+implicit trust and cheerful hopefulness to which most enraptured swains
+are prone.  I had only thought of loving Min and being loved by her:--
+engagement naturally following between us; and, that, was all I had
+thought of as yet.
+
+When the time came for us to be married, our guardian angels would, no
+doubt, take care to provide us with the wherewithal!
+
+"Sufficient for the day" was "the evil thereof."  Till then, I was quite
+satisfied to let the matter rest; living, for the present, in the fairy
+land of my imagination where such a thing as filthy lucre was undreamt
+of.
+
+Mrs Clyde's inquiry, therefore, took me all aback.  "What means had I
+for supporting a wife?"  Really, it was a very uncalled-for remark!
+
+I had to answer it, nevertheless.  Of course I could only tell the
+truth.
+
+"I've only got two hundred and fifty pounds a-year of my own at present,
+Mrs Clyde," I said; "but--"
+
+"Two--hundred--a-year!"--she said, interrupting me ere I could finish my
+statement, placing a horribly sneering emphasis on each word, which made
+the sum mentioned appear so paltry and insignificant, that it struck me
+with shame.--"I beg your pardon--two hundred and fifty!  Why, how
+_young_ you are, Mr Lorton.  Do you really think you could support a
+wife and establishment on that income?  I thought you were joking, my
+dear young friend,"--she added--"you know it would barely pay your
+tailor's bill!"
+
+And she looked at me from head to foot with her merciless quizzing eyes,
+taking in all the elaborateness of the apparel that I had donned for her
+personal subjugation.
+
+"You have not heard me out, Mrs Clyde," I answered, spurred upon my
+mettle.--"I am not quite dependent on that income.  I also write for the
+press!"
+
+I said this quite grandly, on the strength of my contributing an
+occasional magazine article at stray intervals to one of the current
+periodicals--getting one accepted for every dozen that were "declined
+with thanks;" and, being the "musical critic" of a very weakly weekly!
+
+"O-oh, indeed!" she exclaimed.
+
+There was a most aggravating tone of pity mingled with her surprise.
+
+She evidently now looked upon me as more presumptuous than ever, and
+hopelessly beyond the pale of her social circle!
+
+"And how much,"--she asked, in a patronising way which galled me to the
+quick,--"do you derive from this source?  That is, if you will kindly
+excuse my saying so?  The proposal which you have done my daughter and
+myself the honour to suggest, necessitates my making such delicate
+inquiries, you know."
+
+"I do not earn very much by my pen, as yet, Mrs Clyde," I
+answered--"but, I hope to do more in a little time, when my name gets
+recognised.  I'm only a beginner as yet."
+
+"Well, if you would take my advice, Mr Lorton, you would remain so.
+I've heard it frequently said by some of your penny-a-liners--I believe
+that is what you literary gentlemen call yourselves--that, authorship
+reaps very poor pay.  It makes a very good stick, but a bad crutch; and
+I don't think you can expect to increase your income very largely from
+that quarter!  The only author I ever knew personally, sank into it,
+poor fellow, because he could do nothing else; and, _he_ led a wretched
+existence from hand to mouth!  He was never recognised afterwards in
+society, of course!"
+
+"Genius is not always acknowledged at first, Mrs Clyde," I said
+loftily.
+
+Her sneers at the profession, which I regarded as one of the highest in
+the world, provoked me.
+
+Fancy her calling all authors "penny-a-liners!"
+
+"So, all unsuccessful men say!" she replied curtly.--"But,"--she went
+on, putting aside all my literary prospects as beneath her notice, and
+returning to the main point at issue,--"is _that_ all you have got to
+depend upon for your anticipated wife and establishment?"
+
+She smiled sweetly, playing with me as a cat would with a mouse.
+
+"All I have, certainly, at present, Mrs Clyde,"--I said, abashed at the
+sarcasm thus directed against my miserable income, which she did not
+take the slightest pains to conceal.--"But I shall have more by-and-by.
+We are both young; and, if you will only give me some hope of gaining
+your consent, when I have achieved what you may consider sufficient for
+the purpose, I will work for her and win her.  O Mrs Clyde!"--I
+pleaded,--"let me only have the assurance that you will allow her to
+wait for me.  I will work most nobly that I may deserve her!"
+
+"All this is mere rhapsody, Mr Lorton,"--she said in her icy accents,
+throwing a shower of metaphorical cold water on my earnest
+enthusiasm.--"Do you seriously think for a moment that I would give my
+consent to my daughter's engagement to you in your present position?"
+
+"I hoped so, Mrs Clyde," I replied, timidly.
+
+I did not know what else to say.
+
+"Then you hoped wrongly," she said.  "You are really _very_ young, Mr
+Lorton!  I do not mean merely in years, but in knowledge of the world!
+You positively wish me to sacrifice all my daughter's prospects, and let
+her be bound to a wearisome engagement, on the mere chance of your being
+able at some distant period to marry her!  Do I understand you aright?
+I certainly gave you credit for possessing more good sense, Mr Lorton,
+or I should never have admitted you to my house."
+
+"O, Mrs Clyde," I said, "be considerate!  Be merciful!  Remember, that
+_you_ were young once."
+
+"I am considerate," she answered--"still, I must think of my daughter's
+welfare, before regarding the foolish wishes of a comparative stranger!"
+
+Throughout the interview, she invariably alluded to Min as "her
+daughter," never mentioning her name.
+
+It seemed as if she wished to avoid even the idea of our intimacy, and
+to make me understand how great a gulf lay between us.
+
+"But I love her so, Mrs Clyde!"  I pleaded again, in one last effort.
+"I love her dearly, and she loves me, I know.  Do not, oh! do not part
+us so cruelly!"
+
+"This is very foolish, Mr Lorton,"--she replied, coldly;--"and there is
+not much use, I think, in our prolonging the conversation; for, none of
+your arguments would convince me to give my consent to any such hair-
+brained scheme.  Even if your offer had otherwise my approval, which it
+has not, I could not bear the idea of a long engagement for my daughter.
+You yourself ought to be more generous than to wish to tie a girl down
+to an arrangement which would waste her best years, blight her life;
+and, probably, end in her being a sour, disappointed woman--as I have
+known hundreds of such cases to end!"
+
+"I do not wish to bind her," I said.  "I only want your provisional
+consent, Mrs Clyde.  I will diligently try to deserve it; and you will
+never regret it, you may be assured."
+
+"I cannot give it, Mr Lorton,"--she replied in a decisive way.--"And if
+you meet my daughter again, you must promise me that it shall be only as
+a friend."
+
+"And, what if I refuse to do so?"--I said defiantly.
+
+"I should leave the neighbourhood," she said promptly.--"And, if you
+were so very ungentlemanlike, as still to persecute her with your
+attentions, I should soon take measures to put a stop to them."
+
+What could I say or do?  She was armed at all points, and I was
+powerless!
+
+"Will you let me see your daughter; and, learn from her own lips if she
+be of the same opinion as yourself?"  I asked.
+
+I was longing to see Min.  I wanted to know whether she had been
+convinced by her mother's worldly policy, or no.
+
+"It is impossible for me to grant your request," said Mrs Clyde.  "My
+daughter is not at home.  She went down to the country this morning on a
+visit to her aunt; and the date of her return depends mainly on your
+decision now."
+
+This was the finishing blow.
+
+I succumbed completely before this master-stroke of policy, which my
+wary antagonist had not disclosed until the last.
+
+"Oh!  Mrs Clyde," I said; "how very hard you are to me!"
+
+"Pardon me, Mr Lorton," she replied, as suave as ever.--"But, you will
+think differently by-and-by, and thank me for acting as I have done!
+Your foolish fancy for my daughter will soon wear off; and you will live
+to laugh at your present folly!"
+
+"Never!"  I said, determinedly, with a full heart.
+
+"But you will promise not to speak to my daughter otherwise than as a
+friend, when you see her again?" she urged:--not at all eagerly, but,
+quite coolly, as she had spoken all along.
+
+I would have preferred her having been angry, to that calm, irritating
+impassiveness she displayed.  She appeared to be a patent condenser of
+all emotion.
+
+"I suppose I must consent to your terms!"--I said,
+despairingly.--"Although, Mrs Clyde, I give you fair warning that, when
+I am in a position to renew my suit under better auspices, I will not
+hold myself bound by this promise."
+
+"Very well, Mr Lorton," she said, "I accept your proviso; but, when you
+make your fortune it will be time enough to talk about it!  In the
+meanwhile, relying upon your solemn word as a gentleman not to renew
+your offer to my daughter, or single her out with your attentions--which
+might seriously interfere with her future prospects--I shall still be
+pleased to welcome you _occasionally_"--with a marked emphasis on the
+word--"at my house.  What we have spoken about had, now, better be
+forgotten by all parties as soon as possible, excepting your promise, of
+course, _mind_!" and she bowed me out triumphantly--she victorious, I
+thoroughly defeated.
+
+What a sad, sad change had occurred since happy last night!
+
+All my bright hopes were obscured, my ardent longings quenched by
+fashionable matter-of-fact; and, Min herself had gone from me, without
+one single parting word!
+
+I was born to be unlucky, I think; everything went wrong with me now.
+Like the lonely, hopeless hero in Longfellow's translation of Min's
+favourite _Coplas de Manrique_, I might well exclaim in my misery--
+
+  "Let no one fondly dream again,
+  That Hope and all her shadowy train
+  Will not decay;
+  Fleeting as were the dreams of old,
+  Remembered like a tale that's told,
+  They pass away!"
+
+How did I know, too, but, that, ere I saw my darling again, months might
+elapse, during which time all thoughts of me might be banished from her
+heart?
+
+One proverb tells us that "absence makes the heart grow fonder;"
+another, equally entitled to belief, warns anxious lovers that "out of
+sight" is to be "out of mind."
+
+Which of the two could I credit?
+
+Besides, even if she were constant and true to me, Mrs Clyde would
+certainly never give her consent to our engagement, I was confident--no,
+not if we both lived and loved until doomsday!
+
+All these bitter thoughts flashed through my mind in a moment, one after
+the other.
+
+I was angry, indignant, wretched.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THREE.
+
+"NIL DESPERANDUM."
+
+  To-morrow's sun shall warmer glow,
+  And o'er this gloomy vale of woe
+  Diffuse a brighter ray!
+
+"O you lovers, you lovers!"--exclaimed little Miss Pimpernell, on my
+unbosoming myself to her, and recounting the incidents of my unhappy
+interview with Min's mother, shortly after I quitted the scene of my
+discomfiture.--"O you lovers, you lovers!  You are always, either on the
+heights of ecstasy, or deep down in the depths of despair!  Be a man,
+Frank, and let her see what noble stuff there is in you!  There is
+nothing in this world worth the having, which can be obtained by merely
+looking at it and longing for it.  Bear in mind Monsieur Parole's
+favourite proverb, `On ne peut pas faire une omelette sans casser les
+oeufs!'  You mustn't expect that a girl is going to drop into your
+mouth, like a ripe cherry, the moment you gape for her!  Young ladies
+are not so easily won as that, Master Frank, let me tell you!  Put your
+shoulder to the wheel, my boy!  You will have to work and wait.
+Remember how long it was that Jacob remained in suspense about his first
+love, Rachel--seven, long years; and, _then_, he had to serve seven more
+for her after that!"
+
+"Ah, Miss Pimpernell!"--said I,--"but, seven years were not so much to
+the long-lived men who existed in those times, as seven months are to us
+ephemerals of the nineteenth century!  Jacob could very well afford to
+wait that time; for he was not over what we call `middle-age' when he
+married; and was, most likely, in the flower of his youth on his
+ninetieth birthday!--He did not die you know, until he had reached the
+ripe age of `an hundred and forty and seven years.'--Besides, he had
+Laban's promise to keep him up to his work; but, _I_ have no promise,
+and no hope to lead me on, if I do wait--and what would I be at the end
+of seven years?  Why, I would be thirty--quite old."
+
+"Nonsense, Frank!"--replied the dear old lady, in her brisk cheery way,
+jumping round in her chair, and looking me full in the face with her
+twinkling black eyes.--"When you are as old as I am, you will not think
+thirty such a very great age, you may be sure!  And, I didn't say, too,
+that you should have to wait seven years, or anything like it--although,
+if you really love Miss Min, you would think nothing of twice that time
+of probation.  As for Jacob's age, the vicar could explain about that
+better than I, Master Frank, sharp though you are; you had best ask him
+what he thinks on the subject?  What I say, is, my boy, that you must
+make up your mind to work, and wait for your sweetheart; work, at any
+rate--and wait, if needs be.  `Rome wasn't built in a day;' and, when
+did you ever hear of the course of true love running smooth?  Be a man,
+Frank!  Say to yourself, `I'll work and win her,' and you will.  Put
+your heart in it, and it will soon be done--sooner than you now think.
+There's no good in your sitting down and whining at your present defeat,
+like the naughty child that cried for the moon!  You must be up and
+doing.  A man's business is to overcome obstacles; it is only us, women,
+who are allowed to cry at home!"
+
+"But, Mrs Clyde dislikes me," I said.
+
+"What of that?" retorted Miss Pimpernell; "her dislike may be overcome."
+
+"I don't think it ever will be," I said, despondingly.
+
+"Pooh, Frank," replied the old lady;--"`never is a long day.'  She's
+only a woman, and will change her mind fast enough when it suits her
+purpose to do so!  You say, that she only objected on the score of your
+position, and from your not having a sufficient income?"
+
+"Yes,"--I said,--"that was her ostensible reason; but, I think, she
+objects to me personally--in addition to having other and grander
+designs for Min."
+
+"Ah, well,"--said Miss Pimpernell,--"we haven't got to consider those
+other motives now; she rejected your offer, at all events, on the plea
+of your want of fortune?"
+
+"Yes," said I, mechanically, again.
+
+"Then, that is all we've got to deal with, my boy,"--she said.--"Mrs
+Clyde is quite right, too, you know, Frank.  You have got no profession,
+or any regular occupation.  Let us see if we cannot mend matters.  In
+the first place, are you willing to work?  Would you like some certain
+employment on which you can depend?"--And she looked at me kindly but
+searchingly over her spectacles.
+
+"Would a duck swim?" said I, using an expressive Hibernicism.
+
+"Well, what sort of employment would you like?" she asked.
+
+"Anything," I replied.
+
+"Come, that's good!" she said.--"And what can you do?"
+
+"Everything," I said.
+
+She laughed good-humouredly.--"You've a pretty good opinion of yourself
+at any rate, Master Frank, if that's any recommendation:--you will never
+fail through want of impudence.  But, I'll speak to the vicar about
+this.  I think he could get you a nomination for a Government office."
+
+"What, a clerkship?"--I said, ruefully, having hitherto affected to
+despise all the race of her Majesty's quill drivers, from Horner
+downwards.
+
+"Yes, sir,"--she said,--"`a clerkship;' and a very good thing, too!  You
+need not turn up your nose at it, Master Frank; _I_ can see you,
+although I _do_ wear glasses!  Grander men than you think yourself, sir,
+have not despised such an opening!  Here _is_ the vicar,"--she added, as
+her brother walked into the room.--"How lucky! we can ask him now."
+
+The vicar overheard her remark.
+
+"Hullo, Frank!" said he; "what is it, that Sally and you are conspiring
+together?  Can I do anything for you, my boy?"--he continued, in his
+nice kind way,--"if so, only ask me; and if it is in my power, you know
+that I will do it."
+
+"He wishes to get into a Government office; don't you think you could
+help him?" said Miss Pimpernell.
+
+"You want to be in harness, my boy, eh?"--said the vicar, turning to
+me.--"That's right, Frank.  Literature will come on, in due course, all
+in good time.  There's nothing like having regular work to do, however
+trifling.  It not only gives you a daily object in life, but also
+steadies your mind, causing you better to appreciate higher intellectual
+employment!  I thought, however, my boy, that you looked down on `Her
+Majesty's hard bargains,' as poor Government clerks are somewhat
+unjustly termed?"
+
+"That was, because I thought they were a pack of idlers, doing nothing,
+and earning a menial salary for it.  `Playing from ten to to four, like
+the fountains in Trafalgar Square,' as _Punch_ declares," I said.
+
+"Ah!" said the vicar, "that is a mistake, as you will soon find out when
+you belong to their body.  They _do_ work, and well, too.  Many of the
+grand things on which departmental ministers pride themselves--and get
+the credit, too, of effecting by their own unaided efforts--are really
+achieved by the plodding office hacks, who work on unrecognised in our
+midst!  Our whole public service is a blunder, my boy.  There is no
+effective rise given in it to talent or merit, as is the case in other
+official circles.  The `big men,' who are appointed for political
+purposes, get on, it is true; but, the `little men,' who labour from
+year's end to year's end, like horses in a mill, never have a chance of
+distinguishing themselves.  When they are of a certain age, and attain a
+particular height in their office, they become superannuated, and
+retire; for, should a vacancy occur, of a higher standing in the public
+secretariat, it is not given to _them_--although the training of their
+whole life may peculiarly fit them for the post!  No, it is bestowed on
+some young political adherent of the party then in power, who may be as
+unacquainted with the duties connected with the position, as _I_ am
+ignorant of double fluxions!  This naturally disgusts men with the
+service; and, that is why you generally hear Government offices spoken
+of as playgrounds for idle youths, who enter them to saunter through
+life--on the strength of the constituent-influence of their fathers on
+the seats of budding MP's."
+
+"I really thought they never worked," said I.  "There's Horner, for
+instance.  You don't suppose, sir, that _he_ confers such inestimable
+benefit on his country by his daily avocations in Downing Street?"
+
+"Ah, poor Jack Horner!" laughed the vicar; "he's really not very bright.
+But, we need not be so uncharitable as to think that he does not do his
+money's worth for his money!  He writes a beautiful hand, you know; and,
+I dare say, his mere services as a copying machine are of some value.
+Government clerks do not all play every day, Frank:--you will, I'm sure,
+find plenty to do, if you go into office life.  I remember, in the time
+of the Crimean war, that a friend of mine, employed in the Admiralty at
+Whitehall, used to have to stop up every alternate night at his office,
+the whole night through; and this was the case, too, at all the other
+public departments!  The clerks in each room were obliged to take it in
+turn for night duty; while, those who were free to go home--and they did
+not leave work until long after the traditional `four o'clock' on most
+days--had to specify where they could be found every evening, in case
+they should be suddenly wanted on the arrival of despatches from the
+seat of war.  Of course this state of affairs is not ordinary; still,
+Government clerks are not idlers as a body:--on the contrary, you will
+find them thorough working-men."
+
+"Working-men!" ejaculated little Miss Pimpernell, raising her beady
+black eyes in astonishment to her brother, "why, I thought all working-
+men, properly so-called, were mechanics!"
+
+"That is the radical politician's view, my dear," answered the vicar.
+"Let a man be apprenticed to a skilled trade, and carry a bricklayer's
+hod, or a carpenter's rule.  Let him only wear slops and work in an
+engine-room, or use a mason's trowel--so long as he does these things
+and receives his wages weekly, he is a `working-man;' and, must have the
+hours of labour made to suit him, the legislation of the country altered
+on his behalf, the taxation of the public judiciously contrived to steer
+clear of him.  He is the typical `working-man,' my dear, of whom
+demagogues are always prating:--the fetish, before which so-called
+`liberal' statesmen fall down and worship!
+
+"But, your poor agricultural labourer, who lives in poverty, and dirt,
+and misery--starving annually on a tenth portion of the wages that the
+skilled mechanic gets--_he_ is no working-man; oh no!  Nor the wretched
+London clerk; he, also, is no working-man; nor the Government hack; nor
+the striving, hard-worked doctor; besides, many professional men and
+struggling tradesmen, who, for the larger portion of their lives, inch
+and pinch to scrape out existence!
+
+"None of these are working-men; although they work harder--and for many
+more hours per diem than the mechanic--on, in most instances, a less
+income than the happy protege of the radical law-maker gets by the
+addition of his weekly wages at the year's end.
+
+"And yet, the clerks, and the struggling tradesmen, and professional
+men, have to pay poor-rates and house-rates, and all sorts of petty
+taxes, from which the fetish `working-man' is free; besides the income-
+tax, which never approaches him.  The latter, often getting from three
+to five pounds in wages, can dress as he pleases, live in a single room
+for five shillings a week, pay no rates or taxes; and may, finally,
+disport himself as he likes--leaving off work whenever the fancy strikes
+him and resuming it again at his pleasure--without consulting the
+convenience or the wishes of his employer, who is, through trades'
+unions and special class legislation, entirely at his mercy!
+
+"Clerks, shopkeepers, and struggling professional men, cannot do this,
+however.  _They_ have to conform to certain rules of society; and keep
+up an appearance of respectability on, frequently, half the sum that the
+mechanic gets in wages, as I've said already--while groaning under a
+burden of taxation from which the great `liberal' fetish is completely
+free.  _He_ is a `working-man,' my dear:--_they_, are nothing of the
+sort.--Oh, no!"
+
+"Do they really obtain such good wages?"  I inquired;--"if so, what on
+earth do they do with the money?"
+
+"Yes,"--said the vicar, in full swing of his favourite political
+argument,--"if anything, I have rather understated the case than
+exaggerated it.  The manager of one of the telegraph-cable manufactories
+down the river, told me the other day, that, many of the hands drew four
+and five pounds regularly each Saturday.  And these men, he further
+informed me, spent the greater part of this in drink and pleasuring on
+their off-days.  They will have good food and the best, too--such as I
+cannot afford, in these days of high butchers' bills; notwithstanding
+that they make such a poor show for their money, and save none of it,
+either!  I do not complain of this, politically speaking, for, `an
+Englishman's house is his castle,' you know, and he has the right to
+live as he pleases; but, I do say, that when poor curates and clerks are
+so taxed, these men ought to bear their share of the taxation,
+possessing, as they do, incomes quite as large and in many cases
+greater."
+
+"But, they are taxed indirectly, though, are they not?"--I asked.
+
+"Certainly; but, so also are all of us, the larger number of _real_
+working-men of the country--quite in addition to the heavy burden we
+have to bear of local and direct taxation!  The pseudo `working-man'
+should fairly contribute his quota to all this--particularly, since his
+bottle-holders have been so clamourous for giving him a share in the
+government of the state.  If he wants `a share in the government,' why,
+he should help to support it:--that's what I say!"
+
+And the vicar then went off into a tirade against class legislators and
+radical politics, not forgetting to animadvert, too, on the "Manchester
+School"--his great bete noir.
+
+"I wonder what Mr Mawley would say, to hear you run down his favourite
+party so!"--I said, when he gave me another opening to put in a
+word.--"He's such a rabid Liberal."
+
+"Mawley is thorough," said the vicar; "I do not agree with his views,
+certainly; but _he_ really believes in them and acts up to his theories,
+which is more than can be said for a good many of our `Liberal'
+statesmen!  What can _one_ think of them when one hears them talking of
+`economy,' and cutting down the poor clerk's salary, without dreaming of
+touching their own little snug incomes of five thousand a-year!"
+
+"But what has all this got to do with Frank's appointment, brother?"
+asked Miss Pimpernell, with a sly chuckle of satisfaction.  She always
+said she disliked arguments; but, she was never better pleased than to
+hear the vicar expressing his sentiments on topics of the day.  He was
+so earnest and delighted when he got a good listener--although, he was
+rather shy of speaking before strangers.
+
+"Dear me!"--exclaimed the vicar, rubbing his forehead vigorously.--"I
+declare, I thought I was talking to Parole d'Honneur!  You must forgive
+me, Frank."
+
+"Do you think you could manage to get him an appointment, my dear?"--
+repeated my little old friend, bringing the vicar back to our main
+question, now that she had unhorsed him from his Radical charger.
+
+"Yes, certainly,"--replied the vicar, cordially,--"I do not see why I
+should not.  I'll speak to the bishop to-morrow, if I can catch him in.
+He's got some good influence with the ministry; and, with mine in
+conjunction, the two of us together ought to manage it, eh, Sally?"
+
+"And how soon do you think, sir,"--I asked,--"would you be likely to
+procure it for me?  I've been a long time idle; and, I am, now, anxious,
+you know, to make up for lost time."
+
+Miss Pimpernell's words had thoroughly spurred me up.  I wanted to set
+to work for Min at once.
+
+"How soon, eh, my boy?"--said he, kindly.--"You must have some special
+object to be so anxious for employment!  But, you need not be shy,
+Frank; I can guess it, I think, without your telling me; and, I'm glad
+of it.  How soon, eh?  Let me consider.  If I see the bishop to-morrow,
+as I very likely shall, we might arrange to get you a nomination in a
+fortnight, I think; but, I'm certain, I can promise obtaining it within
+a month at the outside.  Will that do, Frank?"
+
+"Oh, thank you, sir!"--I exclaimed, in grateful gladness,--"that is ever
+so much sooner than I expected!  I thought it might take months to get
+me an appointment!  I shall be ready for it, however, when it comes, all
+the same, dear sir."
+
+"You had better get crammed in the meantime, however, my boy," said the
+vicar, reflectively.
+
+"`Get crammed,' brother!"--said Miss Pimpernell, aghast at the term, of
+which she clearly did not understand the slang sense.  "Get crammed!
+Why, what do you mean?  Frank is thin, certainly, and he might be a
+little stouter to advantage; but, has he got to be of a particular
+weight, the same as the height of recruits is measured for the army?"
+
+The vicar laughed, and held his sides in hearty merriment.--"Sally,
+Sally!"--he exclaimed after a while.--"You will be the death of me some
+day!  I did not allude to physical cramming, such as the Strasbourg
+geese undergo; but, mental stuffing.  A `crammer' is a `coach,' you
+know."
+
+"I'm sure I don't,"--said little Miss Pimpernell, energetically;--"for,
+what with your crammers and coaches, I really do not know what you are
+speaking about!"
+
+"Well, my dear, I'll now enlighten you,"--said the vicar, still laughing
+at the old lady's very natural mistake.--"Crammers and coaches, are
+certain high-pressure machines, in the form of man, for forcing any
+amount of superficial knowledge into uneducated youths within a fixed
+time.  It is an unnatural process, resulting pretty much in the same way
+as does the artificial mode of fattening geese:--the latter have
+diseased livers; while, the subjects of high-pressure cram are usually
+afterwards subject to unmitigated ignorance--of the worst kind, because
+it pretends to learning--in addition to an insufferable pedantry, which
+can never convince judges acquainted with the genuine article!  Ah, my
+dear, as Pope wisely wrote, `a little learning is a dangerous thing!'"
+
+"Then you mean tutors,"--said Miss Pimpernell.--"Why could you not call
+them by their proper name?"
+
+"I could, my dear,"--said the vicar, good-humouredly,--"but, the term I
+used, is an old relic of college jargon; you see how hard it is to cure
+oneself of bad habits!"
+
+"And you think Frank will want to be `crammed,' then?"--asked Miss
+Pimpernell, making use of the very word she had just abused, because she
+thought her brother might feel hurt at her implied reproach.  The dear
+old lady would have talked slang all day if she had believed it would
+have given the vicar any satisfaction!
+
+"Yes, my dear,"--he replied.--"You see, he might have to compete for his
+appointment with a dozen others; and, as the examination for the civil
+service is now pretty stiff in its way, it would not do for him to fail.
+Frank has received a good sound public school education; but, they ask
+so many purely-routine questions of candidates, that he had better have
+a tutor who makes these subjects his speciality, to put him up in the
+little details of the machinery."
+
+"I never thought of that,"--said I.--"It is so long since I left school,
+that I fear I may be plucked!"
+
+"Oh, you'll be quite ready for the examination in a week, my boy,"--said
+the vicar, to encourage me.--"The examiners only require superficial
+knowledge; not, honest groundwork--although, they pretend to test the
+effects of a `good liberal education!'  One of these public crammers
+would make you fit to pass in any certified time, if you could barely
+read and write.  He would hardly require even that preliminary basis to
+work upon, for that matter.  But, I ought not to blame them; for, I am a
+coach myself, or, rather, was one, once, when I had the time to read
+with pupils for the university.  These competitive examinations are a
+mistake, I think,"--he continued,--"for the men who pass them the most
+brilliantly seldom make the best clerks, which one would imagine to be
+the result mainly desired.  I would prefer, myself, the present middle-
+class examinations at Oxford--which they lately instituted, for
+discovering talent and merit--to all these hot-house tests; although, of
+course, I may be biassed against them, through the recollection of my
+old don days, when I was at college.
+
+"Not but what the idea of throwing open all appointments in the public
+service is better than the former custom of close patronage.  The system
+is only abused, that's all, in consequence of the Competition-Wallah
+business being carried to excess.  Your poor man, whom the change was
+especially supposed to benefit, has no chance now, unless he has the
+money to pay for the services of a crammer--be his attainments never so
+great.  The examinations have really degenerated into a technical
+groove, into which aspirants have to be regularly initiated by a
+`coach,' or they will never succeed in getting out of it, to receive
+their certificates of proficiency.
+
+"I will write you down the name of a good man to apply to, Frank,"--he
+added.--"He'll pass you, I warrant, or I will eat my hat!  And now I
+must be off, my boy.  I have a lot of visiting to do to-night ere I can
+hope to go to bed.  I'll not forget to speak to the bishop, as I have
+promised; and, I think, you may rely upon getting a nomination for a
+good office within the time I have named.  Have you anything to do out,
+Sally--any letters to post?"--he then said, turning to his sister, and
+putting on the hat he had just volunteered to eat.--"No?  Then I'm off.
+Good-night, Frank!  Mind you go to that tutor to-morrow,"--he said,
+handing me the address he had hastily scribbled down; and, he went out
+on some errand of mercy, leaving Miss Pimpernell and myself to resume
+our tete-a-tete conversation, which he had so satisfactorily
+interrupted.
+
+"Well, Frank!"--said she, as his coat tails disappeared out of the
+doorway,--"will not that do for you?"
+
+"I should just think it would!"--I replied, buoyantly;--"and I do not
+know how to thank you and the vicar for all your kindness.  I can't tell
+what I should have done without your help!"
+
+"Oh, never mind that, my boy,"--she answered kindly;--"we are both only
+too glad to assist any one, especially you, Frank, whom the vicar calls
+his `old maid's son!'  All you have to do now, is, to be hopeful and
+persevere!  Only let me see you and Miss Min happily married in the
+end--for I, you know, like to see young lovers happy:--I have such a
+large amount of romance in me!"  Indeed she had, I thought, when she
+laughed cheerily at the idea.
+
+"I'll work, never fear,"--I said--"but, promotion is very slow in
+Government offices.  It may be years before I have a decent income such
+as would satisfy Mrs Clyde!"
+
+"Don't think of that, my boy,"--she said, presently.--"Don't look too
+far ahead!  Let me see what my Keble says," she added, taking down the
+volume of the _Christian Year_, which she constantly consulted each day,
+from its regular place on her corner of the mantelpiece, where it always
+stood guard over her favourite chair.--"Ah,"--she continued, turning
+over the pages,--"I knew that I would find something to suit you.  Just
+hear what he says of the `lilies of the field'--
+
+  "`Alas! of thousand bosoms kind
+  That daily court you and caress,
+  How few the happy secret find
+  Of your calm loveliness!
+  Live for to-day! to-morrow's light
+  To-morrow's cares shall bring to sight,
+  Go, sleep like closing flowers at night,
+  And Heaven thy morn shall bless.'"
+
+"Ah!  But do you think I shall be successful?"--I asked, wishing to have
+my own hopes corroborated.
+
+"To be sure you will, my boy.  Why, there you will have another hundred
+a-year at once added to your income, besides what you make from your
+literary work!  In a short time you will be quite `an eligible person,'
+I do declare!"--she said, laughing away my fit of the blues, in her
+bright brisk way.
+
+"And do you think Min will wait for me?"
+
+"Certainly, Frank.  You wrong her by the very question.  She's not the
+girl to change, or, I'm very much mistaken in her honest, noble face.
+She will be constant and true, after what she has said to you, until
+death!"
+
+"Oh, thank you for that assurance,"--I said.
+
+I went home completely contented and happy.
+
+You may wonder, perhaps, at this buoyancy of temperament, that enabled
+me to get over so quickly the disappointment and dejection I was
+suffering from at Mrs Clyde's brusque rejection of my suit?
+
+But, you must recollect that I was naturally sanguine, as I have
+previously told you; and, the memory of my unhappy defeat, although not
+quite forgotten, became merged into the hopeful anticipations I now
+had--of working for my darling, and being enabled to renew my offer, in
+a short time, with better chances of success.
+
+Hang care!  It killed a cat once, you know.  Was it not Lord Palmerston,
+by the way, who once made that capital classic hit at the versatile
+chief of the Adullamites in Parliament during a debate on the budget,
+when he said--"Atra cura post _equitem_ sedet?"
+
+Care should not sit behind _me_, however; or, in front of me, either!
+
+I wasn't going to be a martyr to it, I promise you.
+
+I would soon see Min again; and, in the meantime, I could wait for her
+and love her, in spite of all the stern mammas in creation, and
+notwithstanding that my tongue might be tied for awhile.
+
+As long as I knew that she loved me in return, whom or what had I to
+fear?
+
+I was, at all events, emperor of my own thoughts;--and, she was mine,
+_there_!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FOUR.
+
+"UP FOR EXAM."
+
+  Say, should the philosophic mind disdain
+  That good which makes each humbler bosom vain?
+  Let school-taught pride dissemble all it can,
+  These little things are great to little man!
+
+In pursuance of the vicar's advice, I hied me without delay to the tutor
+whom he had specially recommended; and, setting to work diligently,
+crammed, as hard as I could, for my expected examination.
+
+"Cramming," nothing more nor less, was, undoubtedly, the system pursued
+by this modern instructor of maturity--I cannot say `of youth,' as the
+majority of his pupils were men who had long cut their wisdom teeth, and
+worn the virile toga almost threadbare:--stalwart men, "bearded like the
+pard," in the fashion of Hamlet's warrior, which has now become so
+general that heroes and civilians are indistinguishable the one from the
+other.
+
+The crammer dosed these with facts and figures at a five-hundred-horse-
+power rate, interlarding them with such stray skeleton scraps of popular
+information as mendicant scholars may pick up from the sumptuously-
+spread tables of the learned, through those crumb-like compilations of
+chronology and history, with which we are familiar, styled "treasures of
+knowledge:"--thus, he injected into the brain of his neophytes dates by
+the dozen and proper names--geographical ones in particular--by the
+score, impressing them on stubborn memories through the aid of some
+easily-learnt rhyme, or comic association, that made even the dullest
+comprehension retentive for awhile.
+
+His entire curriculum consisted, mainly, in the getting by heart, with
+their answers, of sundry old civil service examination papers which he
+kept in stock--continually increasing his store as fresh ones were
+issued by the examining board, until he was at length master of every
+question which had ever puzzled a candidate from the era of the first
+competition down to the present day.
+
+His motive in this was very obvious.  The crammer argued, not only
+wisely, but well, that a certain proportion of these questions were
+pretty safe to be again propounded in subsequent contests, just as one
+sees antique Joe Millers appear again and again, at regular recurring
+intervals, in the excruciating "Facetiae" columns of those penny
+serials, of limited merit and "unlimited circulation," that delight the
+eyes and ears of below-stairs readers, the staple of whose mental
+pabulum they principally form.
+
+The crammer was right in his premises, as I've said, the old queries
+being so frequently put and re-put, that they amount on average to fifty
+per cent, at least, of the total number that may be set to-morrow, to
+addle the brains of the Smiths, Browns, and Robinsons who may be
+ambitious of serving their country in a red-tape capacity.
+
+It has often struck me that the general principles of our national
+system of education are open to considerable improvement.
+
+We go to work on a wrong foundation.
+
+Any plan of instruction, meant to be permanent in its effects, should be
+homogeneous: we, on the contrary, so break up and divide the different
+branches of ordinary knowledge, that they resemble more a number of
+disconnected particles, loosely strung together without order or
+uniformity, than the kindred units of a harmonious whole--as should
+properly be the case.
+
+We mark out and specify, geography, history, science, and Belles
+Lettres, as distinct subjects for study--whereas, in reality, they
+dovetail into one another in the closest bonds of relationship; and,
+were they only thus judiciously intermingled, in one, thorough, cosmical
+course of learning, they would, most likely, be better understood in
+their separate parts, and, undoubtedly, be better remembered.
+
+For instance, in grounding the young idea in the geography of any
+particular country, the main points of its history should follow as a
+natural sequence.  Its seas and rivers would lead to the consideration
+of commerce and the polity of nations:--the mention of its towns,
+suggest the names of its great men in literature and art.  Its scenery
+would call to mind the poets who might have made it famous, the artists
+who may have portrayed its beauties with their pencil; while, to pursue
+the theme, its valleys and mountains would remind the student of the
+value of agriculture and mineral wealth--besides attracting his notice
+to atmospherical and other scientific phenomena, that can be far more
+readily comprehended by young learners, when thus seen, as it were, in
+action, than if taught merely in separate dry treatises that seem to
+have little in common with the busy, bustling, moving world, whose laws
+they affect to expound.
+
+My plan, indeed, would be a further development of the Kindergarten
+scheme, and the Pestalozzian system, generally.
+
+As soon as children had passed through the rudimentary stages of
+instruction, being able to spell and read correctly, their advanced
+studies should be entirely shorn of their present routine
+characteristics.  They might be made so full of life, and even
+amusement, that they would thenceforth lose their _lesson_ look; and be,
+correspondingly, all the more easily-learnt.  In fact, they would appear
+more as a series of interesting pastimes than school tasks.
+
+Instead of making boys and girls con so many pages, say, of the
+geography of China, at the same time that they are wading through the
+history of the Norman Conquest, for instance; those two subjects should
+be made to bear the one upon the other.
+
+The deeds of Duke Robert would lead to a consideration of the places
+mentioned in connection with them, their geographical position, geology,
+local traditions, celebrities, and other archaeological associations;
+while, their after-bearing on the history of our country should not be
+omitted.
+
+The doings of the Black Prince might, also be exampled as inducing the
+study of the geography of northern France.  Cressy, and Poitiers, and
+Agincourt, might, naturally, suggest the first use of gunpowder, its
+composition, and invention; and, then, the improvements in modern
+weapons of war would follow as a natural consequence, which would end in
+their being compared with the old flint implements, that are so
+frequently found to the delight of antiquaries' hearts.
+
+In this way, the literature of any particular period might be combined
+with its history and geography:--science, and other technical matters,
+being incidentally introduced; and, the pupil's imagination, in
+addition, kept in play, by allowing him or her to peruse such good
+historical novels and light essays as would bear upon the life and times
+of the people of whom they were reading.
+
+Celebrated battles of the world, memorable deeds, and famous men, would
+then no longer be classed in separate order, as so many bald facts, and
+dates, and names, to be learnt and remembered in chronological sequence;
+but, the young student would take such deep interest in them from the
+various pieces of desultory and comprehensive information he may have
+picked up in reference, that he could tell you "all about them" in
+succinct narrative--in lieu of merely being only able to mention their
+bare statistical connections.
+
+You may urge, perhaps, that this system would take a long time to work;
+and that a large portion of the knowledge thus learnt would be quickly
+forgotten?
+
+But, to the first objection I would reply, that, I do not see why it
+should take any longer than the ordinary practice of educating children,
+now in vogue; as, instead of considering the various subjects
+separately, they would only be taught the same things contemporaneously,
+as parts of a whole; and, I certainly would be inclined to "back" one of
+my scholars, if I instructed any on the principle, to know more of the
+general history and polity of the world and of the different countries
+respectively that compose it--besides possessing a fair acquaintance
+with modern literature and science--than one taught in the old fashion
+for thrice the time.
+
+With regard to your second demurrer, I would say, that, granting that a
+good deal of this stray information might pass in at one ear and out of
+the other; still, much would remain--sufficient and more than sufficient
+to render the scholar better educated, as a rule, than many men who
+yearly obtain high honours at the university for special attainments in
+"the humanities."
+
+Under my system, they would be educated to more practical purpose for
+future usefulness; for, the knowledge of college men is generally
+limited to certain class books, while, generously-schooled youths, on
+this plan, would have extracted the honey from almost every volume they
+could pick up, ranging from Pinnock's _Catechism of Common Things_ at
+one extreme, to Ruskin's _Ethics of the Dust_ at the other--and, I
+think, that allows a very fair margin for criticism!
+
+But, you may now ask, what on earth have I, Frank Lorton, got to do with
+all this; especially at the present moment, when I have not yet passed
+my examination before Her Majesty's Polite Letter Writer Commissioners?
+
+What, indeed!  All I can say for my unpardonable digression is, that I
+was, I suppose, born a reformer at heart, having an itching desire to be
+continually setting matters straight around me of all kinds and
+bearings.  The mention of those confounded "crammers," led me on to talk
+about examinations in general; and, while on the topic, I could not stop
+until I had thoroughly relieved my mind from an incubus of educational
+zeal that has long lain there dormant.
+
+Now, I will proceed again, with your permission and pardon--which
+latter, I'm confident, is already granted.
+
+Thanks to an excellent memory, and a firm resolve to succeed "by hook or
+by crook," I made the most of all my crammer taught me; although, like
+most of his pupils, I found it at first rather irksome.  However, my
+work had to be done, and I did it.  I consoled myself with the
+reflection that it was all for Min eventually; and, obeying the behests
+of my tutor, I quickly learnt all the endless series of names and dates
+that he entrusted to my memory--to the very letter and spirit thereof.
+
+In a fortnight, he told me that he considered me "safe" to pass "the
+board"--an assurance which I was by no means sorry to hear; as,
+independently of my discovering that "cramming" is not the most
+interesting mode of beguiling one's time, I received at the end of the
+same period, through the kind exertions of the vicar on my behalf, a
+nomination to the Obstructor General's Office.
+
+The official letter conveying the gratifying intelligence of my
+nomination, directed me, also, to present myself on the following
+Tuesday morning, at "ten of the clock" precisely, before the examining
+board of commissioners--taking care to furnish myself with a duly
+authenticated certificate of baptism and one testifying my moral
+character; neither of which had I any difficulty in procuring.
+
+Thus provided, and crammed, "up to the nines," by my temporary
+pedagogue, I put in my due appearance, as required, to have my
+attainments tested:--in order that I might be reported upon as fit, or
+not, to undertake the very onerous duties of the office to which I had
+been probationally appointed.
+
+I was quite hopeful as to the result, for my "crammer" again impressed
+me at the last moment with his entire conviction that I would pass with
+eclat; while, my good friend the vicar, who had given me the most
+flaming of testimonials, cheered me up with his cordial wishes for my
+success, as did also dear little Miss Pimpernell, in her customary
+impulsive way.
+
+"Down along in Westminster, not far from the side of the wa--ter," as is
+sung in the eloquent strains of a certain "Pretty Little Ratcatcher's
+Daughter," who was known and admired "all around that quar--ter," stands
+the not-by-any-means-gloomy-looking mansion of Her Majesty's Polite
+Letter Writer Commissioners--over whose fell door so many trembling
+candidates for situations under Government might, very reasonably, trace
+the mystic characters of the inscription surmounting Dante's
+_Inferno_--"Lasciate ogni speranza doi ch' entrate!"
+
+Arrived here, and mounting a series of stairs until I had reached the
+topmost floor, to which I was directed by the janitor, I found myself at
+last in a long, low, gothic-lighted room--whose windows had commanding
+views of the grand hotel over the way, the roof of the Abbey alongside,
+and the police station in the centre of the problematical "green" in
+front.
+
+Here, the competitors could reflect--while awaiting their papers, or
+when chewing the cud of contentment or despair at the contemplation of
+the same--on what might be the vicissitudes of their lot in the event of
+their failure or success.
+
+At a given signal, fifty-nine other persons and myself, all doomed to
+compete for six vacancies in the much-desired office of the Obstructor
+General, were ushered, like schoolboys, into another and inner room,
+opening out of the former and garnished with rows of green-baize-covered
+tables, running from end to end.
+
+This room seemed to bring back to me a host of old recollections; and,
+each moment, I was expecting to see the ghost of "Old Jack," my head
+instructor at Queen's College School in days of yore, and hear him
+exclaiming in his well-remembered stentorian tones--"Boy Lorton--you are
+detained for inattention!  Stop in and write five hundred lines!"--and,
+then, to see him come swooping down the room upon me, with wrath and
+majesty seated on his bald brow and his gown flowing behind him.
+
+He generally took such enormous strides, when moved with a sudden desire
+to punish some lost soul, whom he might suspect of the heinous crimes of
+idleness or "cribbing"--both unforgivable offences in his calendar--that
+the aforesaid gown, I recollect, seemed frequently to float over his
+head--forming in conjunction with his square college cap, alias "mortar
+board," a regular "nimbus," like that surrounding the heads of the
+saints in old pictures.
+
+The Polite Letter Writer Commissioners--or rather, their executive--
+were, I must confess, much quieter in their demeanour, moving about as
+stealthily as if they were engaged in any number of Gunpowder, or Rye
+House Plots, or other conspiracies.
+
+Perhaps, you say, they were much too orderly in their proceedings for
+me?
+
+Well, I don't think so, exactly; still, _I_ do not believe much in the
+justice and impartiality of the Vehmgerichte, Parliamentary committees,
+the Berlin police, the prefects of the past empire, Monsieur Thiers's
+communistic courts-martial, or of the New York Erie Ring--nor, indeed of
+any representative, or, other body, which hides its deeds and decisions
+under a cloak of secrecy!
+
+Be that as it may, the method of the examiners did not tend to reassure
+us, speaking collectively of the sixty of us who now awaited judgment--
+fifty-four of whom were pre-ordained to failure, and _knew it_, which
+certainly militated against any chance of their looking upon the
+preparations for their torture with a lenient eye.
+
+At regular intervals along the green-baize tables were deposited small
+parcels of stationery, consisting of a large sheet of sanguinary
+blotting-paper, a quire or so of foolscap, a piece of indiarubber, an
+attenuated lead-pencil, a dozen of quill pens, with others of Gillott's
+or Mitchell's manufacture, and an ink bottle--the whole putting one in
+mind of those penny packets of writing requisites that itinerant
+pedlars, mostly seedy-looking individuals who "have seen better days,"
+pester one's private house with in London; and which they are so anxious
+to dispose of, that they exhibit the greatest trust in your integrity,
+leaving their wares unsolicited behind them, and intimating that they
+will "call again for an answer."
+
+The present parcels were also "left for answers"--answers on which
+depended our future prospects and position!
+
+Seated in state, on a sort of dais in the centre of the room, was a
+courteous and urbane personage of affable exterior.  He was further
+hedged in with a species of outwork of the sentry-box formation, which
+concealed his lower limbs from view:--a precaution evidently designed to
+protect him from the fierce onslaught of some demented candidate--who,
+when suffering from the continuous effect of "examination on the brain,"
+might have been suddenly goaded to frenzy by a string of unsolvable
+questions.
+
+This gentleman entreated us, as a first step, to "stand by" the forms--
+like a crew of sailors about to make sail; and then, in the words of the
+Unjust Steward, to "sit down and write quickly," each in front of one of
+the little piles of stationery.
+
+We obeyed this injunction as well as we were able, although many of us,
+unaccustomed to rapid penmanship, found the latter part of the order
+rather difficult of accomplishment.  It was all very well to say, "Sit
+down and write quickly!" but, what, if we had nothing to say, and didn't
+know how to say it?
+
+Ah!
+
+Under the tutelage of the superintending chief, lesser satellites
+ministering occasionally to our wants in the matter of pens and paper,
+and distributing fresh series of questions to us every hour or so, we
+were for three days put through the paces of what the examiners held to
+be "the requirements of a sound liberal English education"--I,
+certainly, should, however, have thought but "small potatoes," as the
+Americans say, of the general attainments of the lot of us in this
+respect, if all we possessed were tested on the occasion, or even a
+tithe of our knowledge!
+
+If one could have set aside one's own interest in the contest, the scene
+in that long low room of the Polite Letter Writer Commissioners was
+amusing enough.
+
+You should only have watched the anxious glances we bent around on each
+other, after first scanning over the printed lists supplied to puzzle
+us!  How we cordially sympathised with the hopeless vacant stare of
+ignorance, proceeding from some tall, bearded individual, well on in his
+twenties--who looked far more fit to shoulder a musket and go to the
+wars, like our French friend, "Malbrook," than to be thus condemned
+again to school-boy duties!  How we glared, also, at any brilliant
+competitor, whose down-bent head seemed too intent on mastering the
+subject set before him; and, whose ready pen appeared to be travelling
+over paper at far too expeditious a rate for our chances of winning the
+clerkly race!  With what horror and despair, we confronted a "poser"
+that was placed to catch us napping:--how we jumped at anything easy!
+
+Taking note of the examiner's watchfulness; the hushed silence that
+reigned around, only broken by the scribbling sound of busy workers and
+the listless shuffling of the feet of others, who, having, as they
+sanguinely thought, completely mastered their tasks, had nothing further
+to occupy their time until "the gaudy pageant" should be "o'er"--the
+whole thing, really, was school all over again!
+
+I believed, every moment, that I was back again once more in the well-
+remembered "B" schoolroom at Queen's--where and when Old Jack,
+promenading all in his glory, caused me often to "tremble for fear of
+his frown," like that "Sweet Alice," whom Ben Bolt loved and basely
+deserted.
+
+To still further carry out the romantic resemblance, we were allowed an
+hour at noon for rest and refreshment each day that the examination
+lasted.
+
+Many, undoubtedly, devoted this interval steadily to recruiting the
+wants of the inner man; but, one could well fancy them bursting off
+madly into some boyish game, with all the ardour that their previous
+application may have generated--the shouts of the Westminster scholars
+in the adjacent yard bearing out the illusion.
+
+_I_ spent my play-hour in wandering through the classic shades of the
+Abbey next door, looking over the memorial tablets of "sculptured brass
+and monumental marble," erected to the honour of departed worthies:--I
+wished, you know, to keep my mind in a properly reflective state for the
+afternoon hours of examination--history and other abstruse studies being
+usually then set.
+
+A few mad, hair-brained youths, however, I was sorry to observe,
+beguiled the interregnum with billiards and beer; but, these, I'm
+delighted to add, got handsomely plucked for their pains--as they richly
+deserved.  You and I, you know, never drink beer or play billiards.  Oh,
+dear no!  Never, on my word!
+
+As all things must come to an end at some time or other, the examination
+proved no exception to the rule, duly dragging its weary length along
+until it came to a dead stop.
+
+A week afterwards I learnt my fate.  I had not passed with the "eclat"
+my tutor prophesied; but, I contrived to get numbered amongst those
+fortunate six who secured their appointments out of the entire sixty
+that competed.
+
+I only got through "by the skin of my teeth," the crammer said; still,
+that was quite sufficient for me.  I had, therefore, you see, no cause
+of quarrel with the examining board.  They had, it is true, made me out
+to have only barely come up to the required standard in French--a
+language with which I had been familiar from childhood; but, they
+compensated for this, by according me full marks in book-keeping--which
+I had been totally ignorant of a week before the examination; and, I
+only answered the questions asked me therein through dint of the
+wholesale theoretical cramming of my tutor!
+
+So much for the value of the ordeal.
+
+I maintain that, in many instances, these competitive examinations are
+quite uncalled-for, and a great mistake.
+
+In the one I was engaged in, for example, two-thirds of the candidates
+were men who had already been employed in the public service as
+"writers"--some for years.  Now, if these were held competent to fulfil
+the duties of office life, as they must have been, or they would not be
+thus employed, surely, it was unnecessary, as well as unfair and absurd,
+to subject them to test the school-boy acquirements, that many had
+forgotten, which offered no real proof of their aptitude to be public
+accountants.
+
+And, secondly, I firmly believe that competition neither produces the
+best clerks--out of those who thus initiate their official life, and who
+might not have been engaged beforehand, as writers or otherwise; nor
+does the system, as I've already said, afford any guarantee for a sound
+education on the part of those examined.
+
+The Polite Letter Writer Commissioners, I have no doubt, do their duty
+as well as they can, in that position and state of life to which an
+enthusiastic reformer, backed up by an Act of Parliament, has called
+them; but, at the present time, ignorance has every facility afforded it
+for riding rampant over their "crucial" tests, while "crammers" drive,
+with the greatest glee, coaches and sixes by the score through their
+most zealous enactments.
+
+If the competitive theory is to be the basis of our civil service
+organisation, it should be extended to all classes and grades in
+official life; and not be limited merely to the junior clerk at the
+bottom of the red-tape ladder.
+
+Let every one, up to the under-secretaries of state and members of the
+cabinet even, be examined and tested and docketed in due order of
+merit--in the same way as the Chinese conduct their mandarin school--and
+distribute variously coloured buttons to graduates of different degrees,
+letting "the best man win," in accordance with the old motto of the now
+extinct "Prize Ring."
+
+Perhaps, if ministers were subjected to some such ordeal--and there
+might be a good deal in it if it were only properly conducted--they
+would find themselves fit to grapple with more vital matters than
+political pyrotechnics, which are only fired off to suit popular
+clamour; and, were they better acquainted with history, especially that
+of their own country--as they would be, if forced to "cram" like the
+commissioners' candidates--they would hesitate before sacrificing the
+old renown of England, and the interests which she has consolidated with
+her blood and treasure for generations, to suit a bastard diplomacy
+invented by the "peace-at-any-price" party of patriotism-less patriots!
+
+The vicar, naturally, was delighted with my success; and, as for little
+Miss Pimpernell, she was quite jubilant.
+
+"Dear me, Frank!" she said, when I took the letter announcing my
+appointment to show her the same evening I received it.  "I am _so_
+glad--I can't tell you how glad--my dear boy!  Why, we will have you and
+Miss Min soon setting up house-keeping!  Did I not tell you that things
+would be certain to come right, if you only waited, and worked, and
+hoped?  Never you go against Keble again, my boy."
+
+I promised her I would not.  I should have liked also to have spoken to
+Mrs Clyde immediately, as Min was still away, and I could hear nothing
+of her; but, she had left town, too, and so I was unable to carry out my
+wish--which, indeed, Miss Pimpernell had strongly advised against my
+doing.  The latter counselled me to wait awhile before I renewed my
+offer; and, it was just as well, perhaps, that Mrs Clyde _was_ away.  I
+might, you know, have put an end to all my hopes in a jiffey, if
+circumstances had not prevented my hurrying matters again to a crisis!
+
+It was very sad for me not to be able to see Min, and hear _her_
+congratulations; but still, that could not be at present; and, in the
+meantime, other folk took interest in me.
+
+It is wonderful, how people living in a small suburb, or remote country
+village, are obliged to submit to having their actions canvassed, and
+the incidents of their private life made public property of, by other
+persons with whom they may have nothing whatever in common!
+
+For instance, what earthly concern was it of Mr Mawley's, whether I
+chose to accept a Government appointment, or not?  Why should _he_ have
+the impertinent officiousness to lecture me when he heard of my joining
+the Obstructor General's Office; and, _I_, be forced to submit to his
+remarks thereon?
+
+He doubted, forsooth, whether I was really suited to the work!  He
+"hoped" I would "get steadier," he was pleased to say; and, he was also
+kind enough to express the desire for me to learn that "deference
+towards my superiors," with which I was, at present, according to his
+idea, "sadly unacquainted!"
+
+Indeed!  It was just like his presumption.
+
+I wonder if he thought himself one of the "superiors" in question.  Did
+he wish me always to allow his ridiculous assertions to pass
+unquestioned?--
+
+Lady Dasher, too, had her say.  But, as she suggested a valuable hint to
+me, I condoned her offence.
+
+I had gone to call one afternoon soon after the change in my condition,
+which everybody, by the way, seemed pleased at, that I cared about, save
+dog Catch.  The poor fellow missed his walks sadly, having now to put up
+with a short morning and evening stroll, instead of being out with me
+all day, as he frequently had been before, when, my time being my own, I
+was free to roam.
+
+"My lady" appeared more melancholic than ordinarily, when congratulating
+me on my successful entry into public life.  She spoke as if she were
+condoling with me on the demise of a near relative.
+
+I returned this by praising a new fuchsia with five pink bells and a
+golden coronal, which she had lately added to her collection; and, she
+then gave me the hint to which I have drawn attention.
+
+"Ah!  Mr Lorton," she said, after a pause, "life is very uncertain!"
+
+"Just so," I said, acquiescing in her truism, in order to keep up the
+conversation,--"but we cannot help that, you know, Lady Dasher."
+
+"No, indeed!" she sighed, rather than spoke.--"And that ought to make us
+more careful, especially on entering into life as you are now doing.  My
+poor dear papa used to say that every young man should insure; and I
+would recommend your taking out a `policy,' isn't that what they call
+it?  _He_ did not insure his life--poor dear papa did not require it;
+but he always advised every one else doing so!"
+
+"That's what most people do,"--I said; still, I was thankful for the
+hint, and carried it into effect shortly afterwards.
+
+While on the point of friendly congratulations and advice, I should not
+forget to mention, that Horner also had his fling at me, perpetrating
+what he considered a joke at my expense.
+
+"Bai-ey Je-ove!" he said the very next Sunday when I met him outside the
+church after service.  "You aah one of aws, now, Lorton, hay?"
+
+"Yes," I said.
+
+"Aw then, my de-ah fellah, you mustn't chawff me any mo-ah, you know.
+_Dawg don't eat dawg_, you know--ah, hay, Lorton!"
+
+And he chuckled considerably at his feeble wit.
+
+Poor Horner!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FIVE.
+
+"LOVE LIES BLEEDING."
+
+  What is my guilt that makes me so with thee?
+  Have I not languished prostrate at thy feet?
+  Have I not lived whole days upon thy sight?
+  Have I not seen thee where thou hast not been;
+  And, mad with the idea, clasp'd the wind,
+  And doated upon nothing?
+
+Although Mr Mawley had expressed such a disparaging opinion anent my
+capabilities for official work, I do not think I made such an
+inefficient clerk on the whole.
+
+I did not mulct my country of any portion of the hours appointed for my
+labour, pleading Charles Lamb's humorous excuse, that, if I _did_ come
+late, I certainly made up for it "by going away early!"  On the
+contrary, my attendance was so uniformly regular, that it attracted the
+notice of the chief of my room, getting me a word of commendation.
+
+Praise from such a quarter was praise indeed, as the individual in
+question was one of the old order of clerks, stiff, prosaic and crabbed
+to a degree--who looked upon all the new race of young men that now
+entered the service as so many sons of Belial.  "Their ways" were not
+"his ways;" and, their free and easy manners, and absence of all that
+wholesome awe of chiefs which had been customary in his day, proved,
+beyond doubt, that official life in general, and that of _his_
+department in particular, was decidedly "going to the devil!"
+
+He lived in the office, I verily believe; coming there at some unearthly
+hour in the morning, and leaving long after every one else had sought
+their homes.
+
+The messengers had been interrogated on the subject of his arrival, but
+they protested that they always found him installed at his usual desk,
+no matter how early they might set about clearing out the room in
+anticipation of the ordinary routine of the day; while, as for the time
+of his departure, nobody could give any reliable information respecting
+that!
+
+The hall-porter, who remained in charge of the establishment when
+business was over, might, perhaps, have afforded us some data on which
+we could have decided the mooted point, but he was a moody, taciturn
+personage, who had never been known to utter a word to living man--
+consequently, it was of no use appealing to him.
+
+One of the fellows reported, indeed, that once having to return to the
+office at midnight, in search of his latch-key which he had forgotten in
+his office-coat, and without which he was unable to obtain admittance to
+his lodgings, he found old "Smudge,"--as we somewhat irreverently termed
+the chief,--who was particularly neat and nice in his handwriting--
+working away; minuting and docketing papers, just as if it had been
+early in the afternoon.  It was his firm persuasion, _he_ said, that
+Smudge never went away at all, but remained in the office altogether,
+sleeping in a waste basket, his head pillowed on the debris of destroyed
+correspondence!
+
+Of course we did not really believe in the latter part of this
+statement; still, it was quite feasible, I'm sure, now that I think it
+over.
+
+His habit every morning was to draw a great black line, punctually as
+the clock chimed half-past ten, across the middle of the attendance--
+book, which stood on a bracket near the door, handy for everybody coming
+in; the clerks having to sign it on entering, inserting the exact time
+at which they put in an appearance.  Our normal hour was supposed to be
+ten, the half-hour being only so much grace allowed for dilatory persons
+delayed by matters "over which they had no control"--although few they
+were who did not take advantage of it.
+
+Why the old gentleman drew this line, none could tell; for, no bad
+results ensued to sinners who signed after its limitation--many of those
+who were invariably late, being subsequently duly promoted in their
+turn, as vacancies occurred.
+
+But, the practice appeared to give Smudge great satisfaction.  He,
+probably, took some malicious pleasure in scoring up the delinquencies
+of his staff, mentally consigning the underliners, most likely, to
+irretrievable ruin, both in this world and the next!
+
+I, as I've already said, was an exception to this rule.
+
+I must explain, however, that my good hours did not proceed from any
+intense wish on my part to ingratiate myself with the chief.  They were
+rather owing to the fact, that the omnibus I specially patronised,
+generally arrived in town from the remote shades of Saint Canon's by ten
+o'clock sharp--a result usually obtained through hard driving, and on
+account of an "opposition" conveyance being on the road.
+
+Smudge, nevertheless, took the deed for the will; and he complimented me
+accordingly, much to my surprise.
+
+"Ha!  Mr Lorton," he growled to me one morning, on my coming in just as
+the hour was striking.  "You'll be picking up the worm soon, you come so
+uncommonly early!  Never once down below the line--good sign! good sign!
+But, it won't last, it won't last,"--he added thinking he had spoken
+too graciously.--"All of you begin well and end badly; and _you_ won't
+be any better than the rest!"
+
+He then hid himself behind a foolscap folio, to signify that the
+audience was ended.
+
+It was quite an event his saying so much to me, his conversation being
+mostly confined to finding fault with us in the briefest monosyllables
+of the most pungent and forcible character; for, he seldom uttered a
+word, save with reference to some document that might be submitted for
+his approval and signature.
+
+During the entire time that I remained under his watchful leadership, he
+never spoke to me, but once again in this gracious manner.  Indeed, when
+I mentioned the circumstance to all the fellows, they expressed
+considerable doubt as to his having spoken to me so at all, ascribing my
+account of our interview to the richness of my imagination; but, he
+really did say what I have related.  I am rather proud of the fact than
+not.
+
+My comrades as a body were a nice, gentlemanly set; and we got on very
+well together.
+
+As a matter of course, we had one especial individual who was commonly
+regarded as the butt of the room--a good-natured, heavy man, with a dull
+face and a duller comprehension; but, he seemed proud and pleased always
+when singled out as a mark for our chaff:--he took it as an honour, I
+think, ascribing our fun to delicate attention.
+
+We had also a "swell," who was as irreproachable in his dress as
+Horner:--I remember, the whole office felt flattered when his name once
+appeared in the list of those attending the Queen's Drawing-room; while,
+his fashionable doings, as recorded in the columns of the _Morning
+Post_, caused our room to be envied by every other division of "the
+branch."--Young and old, "swell" and butt not excepted--we consorted on
+the friendliest of footings.  We were knit together in the closest bonds
+of brotherhood; and were in the habit of looking down upon all other
+departments as not to be compared to that, of which our room, was, in
+our opinion, the acknowledged head.
+
+Generally speaking, men belonging to the public service are more
+gregarious, and stick to one another in a greater degree, imitating the
+clanship of Scotchmen and Jews, than those occupied in any other walk in
+life.
+
+Professionals move, as a rule, in petty cliques; city people find their
+interests clash too much for them to associate in such harmony as do
+those engaged in Government offices.  They may be said, certainly, to
+form a clique, and to have strong party interests also; but then, their
+clique is so large a one that the prominent features of narrow-
+mindedness and utter selfishness, which distinguish smaller coteries,
+are lost in its more extended circle; while, its interests are self-
+centred, its members having nothing to fear or expect from the outside
+public.
+
+And yet, with all that good fellowship and staunch fidelity, as a
+class--when personal pique, and what I might call "promotion jealousy,"
+does not interfere to mar the warm sympathies that exist between the
+units of this officially happy family--Government clerks are a very
+discontented set of men, grumbling from morning until night at their
+position, their prospects, their future.
+
+Really, when I first joined, I thought them all so many Lady Dashers in
+disguise.  I could hardly believe that such cheerful fellows should be
+at heart so morbidly exacerbated!
+
+They do not, it is true, grumble at those of their own standing in the
+service; nor do they try to out-manoeuvre their fellows of the same
+department; but, third-class men are jealous of those in the second-
+class, second-class men of lucky "seniors," hankering after their shoes;
+and all, alike envious, both individually and collectively, of other
+branches, unite in one compact band of martyrs against the encroachments
+and tyrannies of higher officialdom--considering chiefs, secretaries of
+state, and such like birds of ill-omen, as virtual enemies and
+oppressors, with whom they are bound to prosecute a perpetual guerilla
+warfare:--a warfare in which, alas! they are sadly over-matched.
+
+Smith does not mind in the least--that is, as far as human nature can be
+magnanimous--that Robinson, of his own office, should be preferred
+before him, and raised to a superior grade in advance of his legitimate
+turn.  He may, undoubtedly, believe it to bear the semblance of "hard
+lines" to himself personally, that he was not chosen instead; still, he
+puts it all down to Robinson's wonderful luck, and his own miserable
+fatality, bearing his successful comrade no ill-will in consequence.
+
+But, let Jones, of another branch, be placed in the vacancy;--just hear
+what Smith says then!
+
+Words would fail to express his sentiments in the matter.
+
+Jones, he considers, is a nincompoop, who has fed all his life on "flap-
+doodle," which, as you may be aware, Lieutenant O'Brien told Peter
+Simple was the usual diet of fools.  Jones is a man _totally_ devoid of
+all moral principle.  How "the authorities" could ever have selected
+such a person to fill so responsible a post is more than he, Smith, or
+any one else, can understand!  And, besides, how unfair it was, to take
+a clerk from another and different office--and one essentially of a
+lower character, Smith believes--and put him "over our heads in this
+way," as he says, when rehearsing his wrongs and those of his official
+brethren before a choice audience of the same--from which the chief is
+the only absentee:--it was, simply disgraceful!
+
+Smith thinks he "will certainly resign after this," and--he doesn't!
+
+He goes on plodding round in his Government mill, grumbling and working
+still to the end of his active life, when superannuation or a starvation
+allowance comes, to ease his cares in one way and increase them in
+another!  And, to do him scant justice, he really _does_ work manfully,
+at a lesser rate of pay, and with fewer incentives to exertion through
+hopes of advancement, than any other representative person under the
+sun--I do not care to what class or clique he may belong!
+
+He is the miserable hireling of an ungrateful country, from his cradle
+to his grave, in fact.
+
+It is all very well for people unacquainted with the machinery of these
+offices to talk about the idleness of Government clerks generally; and
+joke at the threadbare subject of "her Majesty's hard bargains."
+
+No doubt, some places are sinecures, and that a larger number of clerks
+are employed in many offices than there is work for them to do; but, we
+must not go altogether to the foot of the ladder to remedy this state of
+things!
+
+Why do not such ardent reformers as Mr Childers, and men of his stamp,
+cut down their own salaries first, before they set about pruning those
+of poor ill-paid subordinates?
+
+I can tell them, for their private satisfaction, that, if they did so,
+the onlooking public would have a much stronger belief in the honesty of
+their reformatory zeal than it at present possesses!
+
+It is not the "little men" that swell the civil list, as the vicar told
+me before I saw it for myself, but, the "big wigs."
+
+These are the ones who fatten on the estimates, the root of the evil
+lying concealed under the snugly-cushioned fauteuils of cabinet
+ministers and their pampered placeholders and hunters--not, beneath the
+straight-backed horsehair chairs of miserable clerks.  It is unmanly
+thus for giants to gird at pigmies!
+
+I would advise all the clerks in the various Government offices to form
+a "union," in order to obtain redress for their wrongs; and to "strike,"
+if needs be--you know, that strikes are all the rage now!
+
+You demur to my argument?  It would be a conspiracy, you say?
+
+Dear me!  You are quite wrong, I assure you.  A conspiracy is only a
+conspiracy so long as it is unsuccessful.  When it is triumphant, it is
+known no longer by that term!
+
+Then, it is styled a "Revolution," or a "Restoration," or a "Grand Party
+Triumph," as the case may be.  Just in the same way, is a man a
+"traitor," or a "patriot," who tries to serve his country, according to
+his lights, as he is either defeated in his purpose, or victorious.
+Besides, when men thus work together in a body, their words and deeds,
+although identically the same, are regarded in a different light to the
+words and deeds of mere individuals.  In the one case they may be grand
+and glorious; in the other, they are stigmatised, perhaps, as
+insignificant, and, indeed, often criminal.
+
+Witness, how a robber on a large scale, such as a privateersman
+confiscating the goods of an innocent merchant, or a chancellor of the
+exchequer putting his hand into a poor taxpayer's pocket, is held up in
+history to the admiration and honour of posterity; while, a petty thief,
+who may steal the watch of Dives, or a starving wretch, who snatches a
+loaf out of a baker's shop, gets sent to the treadmill--_their_ actions
+being only chronicled in the police news of the day.
+
+Or, again, look at your colossal murderer, like the Kaiser "Thanks to
+Providence," when he prosecuted the invasion of a neighbouring country
+the other day, in defiance of his kingly word--as published in a public
+proclamation, bearing his signature.
+
+He sacrificed thousands of lives in furtherance of his own ambition;
+but, he is a "conqueror," bless you!  A hero, to whom men bow the knee
+and cry, "Ave, Caesar!"--Your puny villain, on the other hand, who only
+cuts one unfortunate throat, is hung!
+
+"Circumstances alter cases," runs the saying:--it should more properly
+be, the light in which we view them--_that_ makes all the difference, my
+dear sir, or madam!
+
+Let the Government clerks strike, I say.  "Frappez et frappez fort," as
+the Little Corporal used to express it; that is, if they are unable to
+get their grievances adjusted without some such extreme measure--of
+which there does not seem to be much likelihood at present, considering
+the reformatory tendencies of Jacks in office.
+
+A strike, however, would soon bring the latter to reason, and show
+whether these subordinates were worth keeping on, or not!
+
+You don't believe it?
+
+Ah! just wait and see!
+
+Fancy, the consternation at Carlton House Terrace, the dismay in Downing
+Street, some fine morning, when no clerks were forthcoming!
+
+Imagine the tons of correspondence awaiting answers, the acres of
+accounts to be audited, the minutes that would _not_ be made, the
+"submissions" that could _not_ go forward, the files that should have
+been docketed, and initialled, and stowed away uselessly till doomsday;
+and, that must, instead, remain untouched, uncared for!
+
+The Secretary of State might want valuable statistics, to answer some
+obstinate inquiring member in the House that very day, but, nobody could
+prepare them--to his default; and so, the inquiring member might make a
+cabinet question of it, and defeat the Government!
+
+The general commanding at the autumn manoeuvres might, perhaps, be in
+urgent need of footwarmers for the regiments under his charge; but, he
+couldn't get them, as no permanent clerk would be at the War Office to
+countersign his order!
+
+The channel fleet might all need refitting; but, none of them would be
+able to go into dock, as the Admiralty gentlemen--who only knew when
+their bottoms were last scraped--were not at their posts!
+
+In fact, every department--the Colonies, the Foreign Office, and each
+one else, would be topsy turvey; because, only the high sinecurists, who
+never did anything but sign their names to documents prepared by "those
+useless Government clerks," would be present to conduct the business of
+the country; and, _they_ would not have the remotest idea how to set to
+work, you know!
+
+The "Control Department" might, certainly be called on for help in the
+emergency; and then, we would probably have some more "queer things of
+the service" for a short time.
+
+But, it couldn't last.  The whole official machinery would come to a
+dead stop.
+
+You would then see the ardent reformers at their wits' ends; while, the
+honourable person who keeps the purse-strings of the ministry would be
+down on his marrow bones--entreating the ill-used and recalcitrant
+seceders to return to their employment, when "all would be forgiven;"
+and begging them, at the same time, to accept the increase to their
+salaries which they had demanded, as a token of his sincere regard and
+esteem!
+
+Before I became one of the staff of the Obstructor General's Office, I
+had not given the position of Government clerks a thought, excepting to
+look down upon them generally--as I have previously remarked, and as,
+indeed, most people are in the habit of doing who are unconnected with
+the service.
+
+Now, however, that I was one of them, I was filled with the most
+thorough corps feeling.  Their ills were my ills; their hopes my hopes;
+and, such thoughts as I have noted were continually passing through my
+mind.
+
+This is the case with most that are similarly employed.
+
+I like men to believe in the special calling or profession they
+follow:--I do not think much of those who run down their trade.--The
+latter are usually bad workmen, you'll find.
+
+If I were a boot-black, to-morrow, I would, I am certain, lean to the
+delusion that the polishing of pedal integuments was the noblest sphere
+in life!
+
+Indeed, I have known many more extraordinary conversions than mine.
+
+I've seen one of the most brutal and bloodthirsty of warriors settle
+down into an earnest preacher of the gospel.  I have heard a prize-
+fighter lecture on the atomic theory; and, I am acquainted with a
+violent radical demagogue "of the deepest dye," who, by means of a nice
+berth and a snug salary, has been turned into the most conservative of
+county magnates--looking upon all his former proceedings with horror,
+and a virtuous amazement that he could ever have been so led astray!
+
+So, you need not be surprised at my thus changing my sentiments.  In
+addition, I was new to the service; and, "new brooms sweep clean," we
+are told--although, the special work of the room in which I was placed
+at the office was not by any means of an interesting character.  In
+fact, it was rather the reverse, you will say, when I tell you what it
+consisted in.
+
+Some eight of us were engaged from ten to four o'clock every day, six
+mortal hours, in checking a lot of old accounts, and bills, that had
+been paid and settled years before.
+
+There was no benefit to be derived by the country, even if we _did_
+detect an error of calculation, which was rarely the case; for, the
+money would not be refunded, be never-so-many minutes made of the
+incident--the parties concerned being commonly scattered all over the
+globe, and, if appealed to, would probably reply that they knew nothing
+now about the circumstance, and cared less, most likely.
+
+And yet, there were we, day after day, made to go over and over these
+old vouchers, comparing them with ledgers and store-books, and all sorts
+of references, for no earthly good whatever!
+
+It is thus, that much time is wasted and unrequired labour paid for in
+the public service, when, by judiciously doing away with unnecessary
+work, the number of clerks might be economised, and their labour
+consequently better remunerated.
+
+You can't get men to become interested in unprofitable work.
+
+My comrades in the Obstructor General's Office were jolly and cheerful
+enough, and old Smudge not too exacting and fault-finding.  After a
+little experience, I managed to arrive at the knowledge of the exact
+amount of work which would satisfy him.  If one did more than this, he
+thought you much too pushing a fellow to belong to his slow, steady-
+going branch; and if less, why, you were an idle person, not worth your
+salt.
+
+But, the whole thing was very tedious and dry to me.  I could, get
+through Smudge's quantum of accounts easily in half my time:--the rest
+of my hours hung heavily on my hands.
+
+One can't read the _Times_ all day, you know.  The very obligation, too,
+to be tied down to a certain routine and chained to a desk, galled me.
+I could have accomplished ten times the amount of labour I did, if I had
+been allowed to do it at my own convenience, and not forced to the ten
+to four regime.
+
+I was always thinking of Min, also, and fretting at her absence--for,
+she did not come back to Saint Canon's for months after I got my
+appointment.
+
+My whole thoughts were filled with her image.  The difficulty of my
+position with regard to her and her mother likewise troubled me.
+
+So, taking all these points into consideration, my office life was not a
+happy one,--though, if matters had been arranged more comfortably for
+me, touching the future, I would have cheerfully put up with more
+temporary annoyances than I actually suffered, slaving on indefinitely
+under Smudge's rule.
+
+As it was, I couldn't.
+
+I used to dream of Min all day, imagining what she might be doing down
+in the country.
+
+I fancied all sorts of things about her.
+
+I thought that she would forget me and like some one else better,
+knowing how joyfully Mrs Clyde would encourage any wooer whose presence
+might tend to make her turn from me.
+
+The worst of it was, too, that I had no one to sympathise with me.  I
+could not, exactly, go round asking people to "pity the sorrows of a
+disappointed lover!"
+
+As Lamartine sings in his "Tear of Consolation":--
+
+  "Qu'importe a ces hommes mes freres
+  Le coeur brise d'un malheureux?
+  Trop au-dessus de mes miseres,
+  Mon infortune est si loin d'eux!"
+
+How could I implore sympathy?  Would you have given me yours?
+
+I would be almost ashamed to tell how I was in the habit of "mooning
+away my time," thinking of Min--when, the first novelty of the office
+having worn off, I found my duties so wearisome and easily got through,
+that I had nothing to keep me from thinking!
+
+I used to idle sadly.
+
+I often wasted hours, in dreamily composing intricate monograms on my
+blotting-paper, in which Min's name was twisted into all sorts of
+flowery characters, which were intermingled so as to be nearly
+incomprehensible to any one unacquainted with my secret.
+
+My fellow-clerks got an inkling of it, however.
+
+They used to ask me, who "M" was; and, when I got savage, and told them
+to mind their own business, they would "chaff" me, inquiring whether
+"the unknown fair" was obdurately "cruel," or no!
+
+Little Miss Pimpernell tried to cheer me up--telling me to "hope on,
+hope ever;" and, to stick steadily to my work, for, that Min would be
+certain to come back soon, when all would be well.  But, I could not
+content myself.
+
+I got pale and thin, worrying myself to death.--Even Lady Dasher saw the
+change in me, hinting one day to the vicar, in my hearing, that she was
+positive I was in a decline, or suffering from heart-disease, and that
+office-work was really too hard for me.
+
+And when Min _did_ come back, things were but little brighter for me.
+
+The first opportunity I had of speaking alone to her, I asked her if I
+might still call her by her Christian name.  She said, "certainly," with
+a little tremor in her dear voice and a warm blush which almost tempted
+me to say more.  But, I remembered having pledged my word to Mrs Clyde,
+and did not urge my suit, then or thereafter, by words or looks--as far
+as I could help the latter.
+
+We did not meet often now; and, perhaps, it was as well that we did not,
+for our position was awkward for both of us.
+
+When we did, however, it seemed very hard for me to speak to her in cold
+conventional terms--when, my heart was overflowing with love towards
+her; and, this made me appear constrained; while, she showed a shy
+avoidance of me, which, only natural as it was, pained me--although I
+was certain, all the time, that she had not changed towards me in the
+least.
+
+Really, if it had not been for the kind contrivances of dear little Miss
+Pimpernell, I don't think we would have met for a long, long time, at
+all.
+
+Now, that my days were fully occupied at "the office," you know, I could
+not meet her out, or see her at the window; and, in spite of her
+mother's gracious intimation that I might call occasionally, I did not
+care about going there in the evening to be stared into formality under
+her icy eye.
+
+When Christmastide came round again, too, there were no more of the
+happy days that had occurred on its previous anniversary.
+
+Although I had obtained special leave from my chief, through working up
+an enormous number of old accounts beforehand, and thus gaining his good
+will, it was entirely thrown away:--Min did not present herself at the
+room of the evergreens once!
+
+Mrs Clyde had checkmated me, again, there.
+
+Had it not been for Miss Pimpernell's pleadings, I think I would now
+have gone against her advice, and brought matters to an issue by another
+proposal before the year was out.
+
+My better judgment, however, restrained me from this, when I reflected
+over all the circumstances of the case in more reasoning moments.
+
+I saw that it was best for me to wait until the full probationary period
+which my old friend had prescribed should elapse.  I waited accordingly;
+but, my heart was daily torn with a despair and longing, that very much
+altered me from the merry Frank Lorton of former times.
+
+Could I hope?
+
+Would she only wait for me, too?
+
+Should my trust and my devotion be finally rewarded?
+
+Miss Pimpernell said "yes," and Min, when I saw her, _looked_ it; but,
+my heart frequently said "no"--and, I was miserable in consequence!
+
+It is a truism, that, when one loves truly, one is never satisfied.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SIX.
+
+"MY LIFE, I LOVE THEE!"
+
+  --Then, in that time and place I spoke to her,
+  Requiring, tho' I knew it was mine own,
+  Yet for the pleasure that I took to hear,
+  Requiring, at her hand, the greatest gift,
+  A woman's heart, the heart of her I loved.
+
+When "hope deferred," and baffled love combined, had well-nigh made me
+as miserable and woebegone as I could possibly be, I heard a piece of
+news one day which almost nerved up my halting resolution to bring
+affairs to a final issue by speaking out again to Mrs Clyde--no matter
+what might be the result.
+
+The joyful intelligence was circulated by the pleased Lady Dasher, that,
+Mr Mawley had at length proposed for her daughter, Bessie.  It was time
+for it, as he had angled around and nibbled warily at the tempting bait
+offered him--like the knowing fish that he was--for months before he
+would permit himself to be caught!
+
+The curate had, doubtless, noticed at length that the damsel was comely
+withal; and, his heart yearned towards her.  The reverend gentleman,
+however, had not been unobservant of the charms of other maidens with
+whom he had been brought in contact, so, it may be presumed that his
+heart had "yearned" in vain for them; or, peradventure, these had not
+played with him so dexterously, when once hooked, as did the fair
+Bessie--who had not been the granddaughter of an Irish peer for nothing!
+
+Still, there is no object to be gained now in raking up all of Mr
+Mawley's old conquests or defeats, ere his present "wooing and a':"--he
+had been accepted, in this his most recent venture, and was engaged
+explicitly--Lady Dasher taking very good care to inform everybody of her
+acquaintance of the fact, in order that there might arise no such little
+mistake as that of the curate's backing out of the alliance.
+
+Her ladyship only wished for one thing more to make her "happy," so she
+said; and that was, that her "poor dear papa" were but alive, so that
+she might tell him, too, about the coming event.  This was impossible
+though, as she added, with her customary melancholy shake of the head,
+and a return to her normal expression of poignant grief; for, as she
+said very truly, "one can never expect to be thoroughly happy in this
+weary pilgrimage of ours!"
+
+Her complete gratification would, certainly, have been little less than
+a miracle.
+
+The engagement was of very short duration, Bessie's mamma acting up to
+the Hibernian policy of "cooking her fish," as soon as she had captured
+him.  There's "many a slip," you know, "'twixt cup and lip."
+
+Mawley would probably have gladly lingered yet awhile longer amid the
+festive scenes of clerical bachelorhood, flirting--in a devout way, of
+course--under the shade of the church, with Chloe and Daphne, those
+unappropriated spinsters of the parish who took pleasure in ministering
+to the social wants of the curate and others of his cloth.
+
+But, it was not to be.  Lady Dasher was, for a wonder, wise in her
+generation; and, the twain--not my lady and Mawley, but her daughter and
+ditto--were married within a month after the public announcement of
+their attachment, much to the surprise of Saint Canon's, the
+mortification of sundry single ladies thereof, and the well-disguised
+delight of Lady Dasher, who, even on such a festive occasion, looked
+more melancholic than ever.
+
+It was this, that nerved me up to desperation.  Why, thought I, the day
+after the wedding, as I paced along the Prebend's Walk--over which the
+long-branched elms and waving oaks and thickly-growing lime-trees formed
+a perfect arch, in all the panoply of their new summer leaves,
+sheltering one from rain and sun alike--why, thought I, should that
+fellow, Mawley, be made happy, and I not?
+
+Really, I could not answer the question at all satisfactorily.
+
+You see, I was not able to come to a decision with myself as to whether
+I should repeat the darling request which I had made to Min very nearly
+twelve months before, or wait on still in suspense.  The risk of the
+former course was great, for, Mrs Clyde might, and most likely would,
+put an end immediately to all communication whatever between us, should
+she continue hostile to my suit--an eventuality horrible to contemplate;
+and yet, would it not be better for me to be relieved from the existing
+state of uncertainty in which my mind was plunged?
+
+What must I do?
+
+I had to determine that point, at all events.
+
+I could not settle it in a moment: it was far too weighty a
+consideration--it required serious deliberation.  So, I paced on, still
+moodily to the end of the Prebend's Walk; and, although it was raining
+heavily, sat down on the stone balustrade of the little rustic bridge
+over the fosse, facing the river.--"Ah me!"  I reflected, calling to my
+memory Thackeray's sad lament, in that seemingly-comic "Ballad of the
+Bouillabaisse," which is all the more pathetic from its affected humour.
+
+  "Ah me! how quick the days are flitting!
+  I mind me of a time that's gone
+  When I'd sit, as now I'm sitting,
+  In this same place--but not alone.
+
+  "A fair young form was nestled near me,
+  A dear, dear face looked fondly up,
+  And sweetly spoke and smiled to cheer me--
+  There's no one now to share my cup."
+
+As I was musing thus sadly, I was unexpectedly tapped on the shoulder by
+Monsieur Parole d'Honneur, who had come up quietly behind me, without my
+noticing his approach.  He was on his way to pay a visit to his "good
+vicaire" at the vicarage, after giving his usual Wednesday lecture at
+the neighbouring "college for young ladies;" where, blooming misses--in
+addition to their curriculum of "accomplishments" and "all the
+'ologies"--were taught the noble art of family multiplication, domestic
+division, male detraction, feminine sedition, and, the glorious rule
+of--_one_!
+
+Me grieving, he joyously addressed.
+
+"Ohe! my youngish friends"--his general term in speaking to me--"how
+goes it?--Hi--lo!" he went on, seeing from my face, as I turned my head
+to speak to him, that, "it" did not "go" particularly well--"Hi--lo! vat
+ees ze mattaire?--you look pallide; you have got ze migraine?"
+
+"No," I answered; "there's nothing the matter with me, I assure you,
+Monsieur Parole.  I'm all right, thank you."
+
+"Ah! but yes," he retorted--"you cannote deceives me.  You are pallide;
+you take walks on feet this detestable day.--Mon Dieu! votre climat
+c'est affreux!--I knows ver wells, Meestaire Lorton, dat somesings ees
+ze mattaire!"
+
+"But, I'm quite well, I tell you," said I.
+
+"Quaite well en physique, bon:--quaite well, here?" tapping his chest
+expressively the while--"non!  I knows vat ees ze mattaire.  C'est une
+affaire de coeur, ees it not, mon ami?  You cannote deceives me, I tells
+to you!  But, nevaire mind dat, my youngish friends: cheer oop and be
+gays--toujours gai!  I have had, myselfs, it ees one, two, tree,--seex
+lofes!  Seex times ees mon coeur brise, and I was desole; and now, you
+sees, I'm of a light heart still!"--and he laughed so cheerily, that,
+even Lady Dasher, I think, could not have well helped chiming in with
+his merriment.
+
+I did not laugh, however.  "Pardon me, monsieur," I said,--"I'm not in a
+joking mood."
+
+"Come, come, mon brave," he continued, seeing that my dejection was
+beyond the point where it could be laughed away; and accommodating
+himself to my humour, with the native delicacy of his race--"I have
+myself, suffered:--ainsi, I can condoles!  You know, my dear, youngish
+friends, when I was deporte de mon pays, he?"
+
+I nodded my head in acquiescence, hardly feeling inclined for the
+recital of some revolutionary anecdote, which I thought was going to be
+related to me.  Monsieur Parole, however, astonished me with quite a
+different narration.
+
+"Leesten," said he.--"When I did leeves my Paris beloved, helas!  I was
+tored from my lofe--my fiancee dat I adore!  I leaves her in hopes and
+au desespoir.  I dreams of her images in my exiles!  When I learns at my
+acadamies ze young ladees, ze beautifool Eenglish mees, I tinks of ma
+belle Marie, her figure, and her face angelique, wheech I sail nevaire
+forgets--no, nevaire!  And I says to myselfs, `Ah! she ees more
+beautifools dan dese!'  Mais, mon ami, I was deceives by her all dat
+time.  Not sooner go I from France, dan she ees marie to un grand, gros,
+fat epicier of La Villette--Marie dat was fiancee au moi, gentilhomme!
+Mais, mon Dieu; when I was heard ze news, I was enrage--I goes back to
+Paris.  I fears notings--no mouchard--no gend'armerie--no notings--
+although, I was suspect and deporte de France!  I sends un cartel--you
+comprends--to ze gros bon ami de ma Marie, ce cochon d'un epicier!  We
+meets in ze Bois: I gives him one leetel tierce en carte dat spoils his
+lovemakings for awhile; and, I leeves France again for evers--dat is,
+unless ma patrie and ze sacred cause of ze Republique Francaise calls
+upon me--but, not till den!  So, you sees, my youngish friends, dat
+oders suffer like yourselfs.  I have told to you my story; cheer oop!
+If ze ladees have deceives you, she is not wort one snaps of ze
+fingers!"
+
+"But, she has not deceived me," I said.
+
+"Den why are you melancolique?"
+
+"Because, because--" I hesitated:--I was ashamed to say what made me
+despondent.
+
+"For ze reasons dat you don't knows weder she lofes you or not?" he
+asked.  "Ah, ha!  Den, why not ask her, my friends?  You are young; you
+have a deesposeetion good; you are handsome--"
+
+"O-oh, Monsieur Parole," I exclaimed at his nattering category of my
+attributes, almost blushing.
+
+"Ah, but yes," he went on--"I am quaite raite.  You are handsome; with
+un air distingue; reech."
+
+I shook my head, to show that I could not lay claim to being a
+millionaire, in addition to my other virtues.
+
+"No, not reech, but clevaire; and you will be reech bye-bye!  I see not
+why ze ladees should not leesten to you, mon ami, he?--But, if she does
+note; why, courage!  Dere are many odere ladees beautifool also in
+England; and, yet, if you feels your loss mooch, like myselfs with ma
+perfide Marie, why you can go aways and be console, as I!"
+
+His words encouraged me:--and, my face imperceptibly brightened.
+
+"Ah, ha! dat is bettaire," he said--"I likes you, Meestaire Lorton; and
+it does me pain to sees you at deespair like dese!  Cheer oop; and all
+will be raite, as our good friend, ze vicaire, all-ways tells to us.  We
+will go and sees him now!"
+
+He took my unresisting arm, and carried me off to the vicarage; changing
+the conversation as we went along, and gradually instilling fresh hope
+into my heart.
+
+I dare say you think it was very idiotical on my part, thus to bewail my
+grief to another person; and allow a few empty words to change the
+current of my feelings?
+
+But then, you must recollect, that I would not have comported myself in
+this way with a brother Englishman.
+
+If Horner had told me of _his_ woes, for example, similarly as I told
+mine, or let them be drawn out of me by Monsieur Parole, I confess I
+would have been much more likely to have laughed at, than sympathised
+with him.
+
+A Frenchman, however, is naturally more sentimental than any of
+ourselves.  He looks seriously and considerately on things which we make
+light of.
+
+Besides, in my then cut-throat mood, I was longing for sympathy; and
+would have made a confidante of any one offering for the post--barring
+Lady Dasher or Miss Spight--neither of whom would I have chosen as a
+depository were I anxious to give my last dying speech and confession to
+the world; although, they would probably cause the same to be circulated
+fast enough--judging by their habit in regard to that sort of private
+information respecting the delicate concerns of other people which is
+passed on from hand to hand "in strict confidence, mind!" and which is
+not to be told to any one else "for the world!"
+
+Monsieur Parole's story was a good lesson to me.
+
+I saw that he who had had grief as great, and greater than mine, for I
+knew that Min loved me and was constant--had concealed it so that none
+who looked on his round merry face, would have supposed him capable of a
+deep emotion; while, I, on the contrary, had paraded my little
+anxieties, like a fool!
+
+He also taught me determination; for, I resolved now, that, on the first
+opportunity I had, I would speak to my darling again, and have my fate
+settled, without more delay--for good or ill, as the case might be.
+
+I would not remain in suspense any longer.
+
+Within a week, this wished-for opportunity came.
+
+Some mutual friends, to whom, indeed, Min had been the original means of
+my introduction--they living without the orbit of the Saint Canon
+circle--asked me to a large evening party that they gave late in the
+season.
+
+There, I met my darling, as I hoped--unaccompanied by her mother, which
+I had _not_ imagined would happen; consequently, my chances for speaking
+to Min would be all the more favourable.
+
+There was so general a crush of people; that, although the rooms were
+large and there were many nice little retreats for tete-a-tete
+conversation, in balconies that were covered in like marquees and snug
+conservatories, besides the stair landings--those last "refuges for the
+destitute" who might desire retirement--I had to put off my purpose
+until evening wore on to such a late hour, that I thought I would not be
+able to speak to my darling at all!
+
+After midnight, however, my opportunity came.
+
+First getting rid of a horrible person, who would persist in following
+Min about under the false pretence that his name was on her card for
+several of the after-supper dances--an assertion _I_ knew to be
+ridiculously unfounded; for, I had taken care to place my own name down
+for as many as Min would give me, and, all the latter ones I had
+appropriated also without asking her permission, thinking that when that
+happy time arrived, she would not be very hard on me for my presumption;
+nor was she.
+
+Extinguishing the interloper--some people have such blindness of mental
+vision, that they never can see when they are not wanted!--I managed at
+length to open proceedings.
+
+It was while in a quadrille that I began referring to the agonised state
+of my mind, and explained the mental suffering I then was experiencing.
+
+Min listened attentively, as far as she heard, a warm flush on her dear
+face and a light sparkling in the deep grey eyes; but, I would defy any
+lover to plead his cause with due effect in that mazy old cotillon
+dance, which a love of French nomenclature in the early part of the
+century, taught us to style "quadrille."
+
+How can you inform the object of your passion that you adore her, with
+any becoming effusion of sentiment, when you are chassez-ing and
+balancez-ing like a human teetotum?  How, breathe the words of love;
+when, ere you have completed your avowal, you have to make a fool of
+yourself in the "Cavalier seul," the cynosure of six different pairs of
+eyes besides those of the girl of your heart?  How, tone your voice,
+sweetly attuned though it may be to Venusian accents, when, one moment,
+it may be inaudible to her whom you address, through the rampagious
+gallopading and ladies-chaining of excited quadrillers; and, the next,
+be so raised in pitch, from the sudden hush that falls on band and
+dancers alike, between the figures, that your opposite vis-a-vis, and
+the neighbouring side couples, can hear every syllable of your frantic
+declaration--much to their amusement and your discomfiture?
+
+You cannot do it, I say.
+
+No, not if you were a Talleyrand in love matters; and, so completely
+versed in the pathology of the "fitful fever," as to be able to diagnose
+it at a glance; besides nursing the patient through all the several
+stages of the disease--watching every symptom, anticipating each change,
+bringing the "case," finally, to a favourable issue!
+
+No, sir, or madam, or mademoiselle, as the case may be; you cannot do
+it--not in a quadrille, at all events, or I will;--but, no, I won't
+bet:--it is wrong to do so, Min told me!
+
+Presently, on the music stopping, I led her to a seat in a quiet corner.
+"Here"--thought I--"I shall be able to have you to myself without fear
+of interruption!"
+
+I commenced my tale again; but, Min, evidently, did not wish to come to
+any decision now.  She wanted to let matters remain as they were.
+
+I could see this readily, by the way in which she tried to put me off,
+changing the conversation whenever I got on to the forbidden ground, and
+suggesting various irrelevant queries on my endeavouring again to chain
+her wilfully-erratic attention down to the one topic that I only thought
+worthy of interest.
+
+The feminine mind, I believe, delights in uncertainty.
+
+Girls are not half so anxious to have their lovers "declare themselves,"
+as some ill-natured people would have us think.  They much prefer
+holding on in delightful doubt--that pleasant "he-would-and-she-
+wouldn't" pastime that precedes a regular engagement or undoubted
+dismissal--just as a playful mouser sports with its victim, long after
+the trembling little beast has lost its small portion of life;
+pretending that it is yet alive and essaying to escape, when pussy knows
+right well that poor mousey's fate is sealed, as far as any further
+struggles on its part are concerned.
+
+A man, on the contrary, abhors suspense.
+
+It is not business-like, you know.
+
+He much desiderates a plain answer to a plain exposition of fact or
+fancy--even when it takes the form of that excruciating little
+monosyllable "no."
+
+Those diminutive arts and petty trickeries of feigned resistance, with
+which our "angels without wings" strive to delay the surrender of the
+maiden-citadels of their hearts, are but vexatious obstacles to his
+legitimate triumph.  These, the veteran wooer attempts to carry by storm
+at once, seeing through their utter transparency:--to the unpractised
+Damon, however, they assume the proportions of an organised defence.
+
+Look at my case, for instance:--I had hardly managed to manoeuvre Min
+into my selected corner, and to say two words on the subject that
+occupied all my thoughts; when, she, who had previously condoled with me
+on the "horrid crowd" that prevented our having "a nice chat" together,
+as "we used to have last year," and joined in abusing "that wretched
+quadrille," which had interfered so sadly with our talking, now tried to
+baulk my purpose of an explanation by every means in her power.
+
+Ladies having generally ample resources to suit such ends, it was almost
+useless for me to combat her obvious resolve.
+
+The moment I sat down beside her, what does she do, but, ask me to get
+her an ice--it was "_so_ hot!"
+
+Of course, I started off to procure it, our conversation being stopped
+meanwhile; but then, when I had scrambled through the crowd in the
+doorway, making ninepins of all the male wallflowers; had rudely jostled
+the peripatetics on the staircase; and, literally, fought my way into
+the supper-room and back to her again with the desired dainty--what do
+you think was my reward?
+
+I assure you, there was the identical, horrible person, with sandy hair
+and sallow, elongated features--whom I had before routed in the matter
+of Min's dancing with him,--seated in my chair, chattering away at a
+fine rate to my darling; and, she?--
+
+Was listening to his sallies with apparent contentment.
+
+It was, enough to have caused a Puritan to swear!
+
+She saw that I was annoyed; but, she thanked me so prettily for her ice,
+that my anger towards her was instantly appeased:--not so, however,
+toward the interloper!  I gnawed, in impotent fury, the attenuated ends
+of the small fragment of a moustache which nature had allotted to me,
+and talked at him and over him, so pointedly, that he had to beat a
+retreat and claim some other partner for the ensuing waltz.
+
+We were again left alone; but, Min, still, wouldn't listen to me a
+moment!
+
+"Oh, Frank!" she said.  "This is _our_ dance, I think, is it not?  We
+have sat out _such_ a time!  Do let us begin."
+
+I liked dancing, but wanted to speak more; so, I got angry again.
+
+"You are cruel to me, Min,"--I said.--"You _know_ that I wish to speak
+to you seriously, and you won't let me have a chance.  You can joke and
+laugh, while I'm breaking, my heart!  I will leave you"--and, I walked
+away from her out of the room and down the staircase--very proudly, very
+defiantly, very miserably.
+
+On my way I met, or rather encountered, our sandy friend who had spoilt
+my interview.  There was a heavy crush on the stairs; and so, somebody
+else having shoved against me, I revenged myself on this gentleman,
+giving him such a malicious dig in the ribs from my elbow as elicited a
+deep sighing groan.  This was some slight satisfaction to me.  It
+sounded exactly like the affected "Hough!" which paviours give vent to,
+when wielding their mallets and ramming down the stones of the roadway!
+
+In the hall, as I was hunting for my overcoat and hat, which had been
+buried beneath an avalanche of other upper garments, Min, who had
+followed me down, laid her hand timidly on my arm.  She looked up in my
+face entreatingly.
+
+"You are not going yet, Frank, are you?" she asked.
+
+"Yes," said I, curtly.  "What should I stay for?  Do you think I find it
+so amusing to be laughed at?  It is very poor fun, _I_ think!"
+
+"But you, surely, won't go before saying good-bye to the lady of the
+house, Frank?" she then said.
+
+She evidently thought, you see, that I was going to commit an
+unpardonable breach of good manners; and, that made her call me back--
+nothing else!
+
+I returned with her to the drawing-room.  Min's face was quite pale now;
+and, the little rosebud lips were pressed closely together, as if in set
+determination.  She perceived that she could not any longer put off what
+she knew was coming--no matter what might have been her kindly intent in
+so wishing to do.
+
+On our entrance the band was playing the _Mabel_ waltz.  How well I
+remember it!
+
+We joined in for a few turns; and, as I clasped my arm round her darling
+waist, feeling her warm heart beating against mine, I longed to clasp
+her so always, and waltz on for ever!
+
+In a little while we rested; and, getting her to walk out on to the
+canopied balcony through the French windows of the drawing-room, I there
+said my say to her, amidst the waving ferns and showy azaleas that
+surrounded us.
+
+We had the place all to ourselves; for, as it was now early in the
+morning, most of the guests had already gone:--the indefatigables who
+remained were too busily engaged to mind us.  They were making the most
+of the last waltz, which was protracted to an indefinite length.
+
+"Min, my darling,"--said I, after a brief pause, looking straight down
+into her honest, upturned face,--"will you promise to be my wife, or
+no?"
+
+"O-oh, Frank!" she murmured, bending her head down without another word.
+
+"Darling!"--I continued.--"You know full well that I love you; and I've
+thought, dearest, that you loved me a little?"
+
+"Hush!  Do not speak so, dear Frank; you grieve me so," she said.
+
+"Have you forgotten all the past then, Min?  Don't you remember last
+year, and all that happened then?"--I asked.
+
+"I remember, Frank," she whispered, rather than spoke.
+
+"And do you not love me still, darling?"  I pleaded:--"Look up into my
+face, and let me see your eyes:--_they_ won't deceive me, I know!"
+
+But, the dear, grey eyes would not meet mine.
+
+"Oh, Min, my darling!"  I asked again, pressing her closely to my heart,
+"will you not promise to be my wife?  Sweet, I love you so!"
+
+"They are looking at us, Frank,"--was her rejoinder--"let us waltz on."
+
+We had some more turns, "Mabel" still dominant in the orchestra.  O that
+air!  I can hear it now, as I heard it then, ringing yet in my ears--as
+it will continue always to haunt me!
+
+When we stopped again, I repeated my question once more.  I was
+determined to have an answer, good or bad.
+
+"Frank," she said, hurriedly, "I cannot say anything; I have promised:--
+I have promised.  Pray, do not ask me!"
+
+She spoke with great agitation.  There was a tremor in her voice; and, I
+could see _now_ that the soft grey eyes, which were piteously turned to
+mine, were tearful and sad.  I was mad, however, with love and grief, or
+I could not have resisted the mute entreaty I there read--to be silent.
+
+"Min," I went on to say, passionately, "you must now decide whether we
+are to meet again, or part for ever!  You know how I love you now, have
+loved you ever since I first saw your darling face,--will love you until
+my heart ceases to beat!  But, I cannot, oh!  I cannot go on like this.
+The suspense is killing me:--anxiety and uncertainty are driving me mad!
+Tell me, Min--dear as you are to me, I ask it for the last time--
+whether you will promise to be my wife?  Only give me a grain of hope,
+that I may have something to look forward to; something to work for;
+some object in life?  At present, I have nothing; and, my existence is a
+burden to me!"
+
+"Can we not be friends still, Frank?" she asked, sadly.
+
+"No, Min," I answered; "_I_ cannot promise any longer what I feel unable
+to perform.  You must be everything to me or nothing!  I would lay down
+my life for you, darling!  Won't you give me some hope?"
+
+"Oh, Frank! do not torture me,"--she exclaimed, in a choking voice--"I
+have pledged my word, and I cannot break it."
+
+"Better to break my heart than your mother's selfish command!"  I said,
+bitterly, knowing, now, how she had probably been bound down to refuse
+me, should I again offer my love.
+
+O wise, far-reaching, far-seeing Mrs Clyde!
+
+"Do not be so unkind to me, Frank," said Min, half sobbingly, after a
+little time, during which I tried to keep down my own emotion; and, I
+felt a warm little tear drop on the hand in which I still clasped hers
+in a lingering clasp--"I have been a friend, though, to you; have I not,
+Frank?" she asked me.
+
+"Tell me, Min," I said, making a last appeal; "do you love me--have you
+ever loved me?  Let me have some consolation, to comfort me!"
+
+"I must not say anything, must not promise anything.  I have given my
+word to mamma.  But, oh, Frank! do not be angry with me.  Let us be
+friends still, won't you?"
+
+"No," said I, sternly--I wondered afterwards at my cruelty; but, I was
+goaded on to desperation, and hardly knew what I was saying.--"We part
+for ever now, Min!  Your mother may certainly procure you a wealthier
+suitor, but none who can love you as truly as I do, as I have done!
+Good-bye.  I dare say you will soon be happy with some one else; but,
+perhaps, you will think sometimes of him whom you have discarded, whose
+heart you have broken, whose life you have wrecked?--No, I do not want
+you to think of me at all!"  I added, passionately, at the last--and
+then, I left her.
+
+What a walk home I had, in the early dawn!
+
+I would not take a cab, although several passed me.  I wanted to be
+alone in my misery; and so, I walked the whole way to Saint Canon's--
+three miles if it were an inch, over a rough, newly-stoned road, too,
+and in patent-leather boots with paper soles!  I never thought of that,
+however, nor felt the stones, notwithstanding that my boots were
+entirely worn out when I reached home.  I might have been walking along
+on a Brussels carpet, for all that I knew to the contrary!
+
+My thoughts were agony:--my mind, a perfect hell; and, that dreadful
+_Mabel_ waltz seemed to be continually running through my brain,
+tinkling the death knell of all my hopes!
+
+The tune always recurs to me, whenever my memory goes back to the night
+of that miserable evening party, with all its attendant scenes and
+circumstances; and, I hate it!
+
+Two bars of it whistled now, no matter where I heard them, or in what
+company I might chance to be, would bring me mentally face to face with
+my misery again!
+
+O Min, Min!
+
+She never knew how I loved her, or she would never have rejected me like
+this!
+
+This was my consolation--ample, wasn't it?
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SEVEN.
+
+HER LETTER.
+
+  Ay de mi!  Un anno felice,
+  Parece un soplo ligero:
+  Pero sin dicha un instante,
+  Es un siglo de tormente.
+
+  "--And with mine eyes
+  I'll drink the words you send, though ink be made of gall!"
+
+It was broad daylight when I got home.
+
+I did not go to bed; but, passed the weary morning hours in walking up
+and down my room, chewing the bitter cud of hopeless fancy, and in a
+state of excitement almost approaching to madness.
+
+At last, the time arrived for me to start to town to my office.
+
+"Hey, humph! what is the matter, Mr Lorton?"--growled old Smudge to me,
+as I proceeded to sign the attendance book before the fatal black line
+was drawn against the late comers--"Look ill, look ill! hey?  Late
+hours, late hours, young man, young man; dissipation, and all the rest
+of it, hey?  _I_ know how it will end--same as the rest, same as the
+rest!"--and he chuckled to himself over some blue book in his corner, as
+if he had, in the most merry and unbending mood, "passed the time of
+day" with singular bonhomie!
+
+I only gave him a gruff good-morning, however.  I walked listlessly to
+my desk, where he presently also came, to take me to task about some
+account I had checked--so as to tone down any presumptuous feelings I
+might have in consequence of his graciousness:--the "balance" was, thus,
+"pretty square" between us.
+
+I never found the office-work so tedious, my fellow-clerks so wearisome,
+nor the whole round of civil service life so dreadfully "flat, stale,
+and unprofitable," as on that miserable day after the party!
+
+The day seemed as if it would never come to an end.
+
+The wretched hours lengthened themselves out, with such indiarubber-like
+elasticity, that, the interval between ten and four appeared a cycle of
+centuries!
+
+I was longing to be free, in order to carry out a determination to which
+I had come.
+
+I had resolved to see Mrs Clyde and plead my cause again with her; for,
+I had observed from Min's manner, that it was not _her_ objection to me
+personally, but, her promise to her mother which had prevented her from
+lending a favourable ear to my suit.
+
+Four o'clock came at last--thank heaven!
+
+I rushed out of the office; procured a hansom, with the fastest horse I
+was able to pick out in my hurry; and, set out homewards.
+
+I arrived within the bounds of Saint Canon's parish within the half-
+hour, thanks to the "pour boire" that I held out, in anticipation of
+hurry, to my Jehu.
+
+A few minutes afterwards, I called at The Terrace.
+
+The ladies were both out, the servant said.
+
+I called again, later on.
+
+Still "not at home," I was told; although, I knew they were in.  I had
+watched both Min and Mrs Clyde enter the house, shortly before my
+second visit.  I was evidently intentionally denied!
+
+I went back to my own home.  I spent another hour or two, walking up and
+down my room in the same cheerful way in which I had passed the morning;
+and then--_then_, I thought I would write to Mrs Clyde.
+
+Yes, that would be the best course.
+
+I sat down and penned the most vivid sketch of my present grief, asking
+her to reconsider the former decision she had given against me.  I was
+certain, I said, that it was only through _her_ influence that Min had
+rejected me; and I earnestly besought her good will.  I was now in a
+better position, I urged, than I had been the previous year, my income
+being nearly doubled--thanks to Government and what I was able to reap
+from my literary lucubrations:--what more could she require?  Besides,
+my assets would increase, at the least, by the ten pound bonus which a
+grateful country annually aggregates to the salary of its victims each
+year--not to speak of the fortune I might make by my "connection with
+the press!"  In fact, I said everything that I could, to colour my case
+and get judgment recorded in my favour.
+
+But, my toil was all in vain!
+
+I sent over my letter by a servant, with instructions to leave it at the
+door; while, I, waited in all the evening expecting an answer, in
+breathless suspense.
+
+None came; but, next morning I received back my own despatch enclosed in
+another envelope, unopened, unread.
+
+I went down to the office that day in quite a cheerful mood again, I can
+tell you!
+
+How I did enjoy Brown's balderdash; the witty sallies of Smith;
+Robinson's repartees; Jones' jocosities!
+
+When, after my official labours, I returned again to Saint Canon's that
+evening, I made another attempt to see Mrs Clyde.
+
+No.  The servant who answered the door, when I timidly called for the
+third time at the house, told me that instructions had been given to say
+"not at home" always _to me_.
+
+Pleasant!
+
+War had been declared:--a "guerre a outrance," as I had anticipated;
+but, it was a struggle in which I was stretched on the ground at my
+adversary's mercy, with her vengeful blade at my heart!
+
+I then wrote to Min.
+
+It was a long letter.  I bewailed my hasty severance of the old
+relations between us, and asked her to have pity on my sad fate.  I
+poured out all the flood of feeling which had deluged my breast since we
+had parted at the party.  I begged, I implored her not to desert me at
+her mother's bidding.
+
+My letter I posted, so that it should not be stopped en route, and
+returned to me unread by my darling, whom I asked to write to me, if
+only one line, to tell me that she had really received my appeal
+safely--requesting her, also, to reply to me at my office that I might
+get her answer in the soonest possible time.
+
+I dreamt of her subsequently, the whole night through:--it was a
+horrible dream!
+
+A third day of torture in my governmental mill.  Six mortal hours more
+of dreary misery; and, helpless boredom at the hands of Smith, Brown,
+Jones, and Robinson!
+
+And, then, I got my reply.
+
+It was "only a line."  Very short, very sweet, very bitter, very
+pointed; and yet, I value that little letter so highly that I would not
+exchange it for the world!  The words are stained with tear-drops that,
+I know, fell from loving, grey eyes; while, its sense, though painful,
+is sweet to me from its outspoken truthfulness:--I value it so highly,
+that I could not deem it more precious, if it were written on a golden
+tablet in characters set with diamonds--were it the longest letter
+maiden ever wrote, the sweetest billet lover ever received!
+
+  "_Frank!  I cannot, I must not grant your request.  Do not wring my
+  heart by writing to me again, or speaking to me; for, I have promised,
+  and we are not to see each other any more.  I am breaking my word in
+  writing to you now, but, oh! do not think badly of me.  Indeed,
+  indeed, I am not heartless, Frank.  It has not been my fault, believe
+  me.  I shall pray for you always, always!  I must not say any more_.
+
+  "_Minnie Clyde_."
+
+That was all the little note contained; but, it was quite enough.
+
+Was it not?
+
+When I had read it and read it, over and over again, I was almost beside
+myself,--with a grief that was mixed up with feelings of intense anger
+and rage against her whom I looked upon as the author of my sufferings--
+Mrs Clyde.
+
+Min had been again sent down to the country, the very day on which I
+received her heart-breaking letter.  This I heard from my old friend,
+dear little Miss Pimpernell, who tried vainly to console me.  She
+endeavoured to make me believe that "all would come right in the end,"
+as she had prophesied before; but, I refused to be comforted.  I could
+not share her faith.  I would not be sanguine any more; no, never any
+more!
+
+I saw Mrs Clyde at church the very next Sunday.  I went there in the
+hope that my darling might have returned, and that I would see her--not
+from any religious feeling.
+
+There was only her mother there, however.
+
+I waited to accost her at the church door after the service was over.
+
+"Oh, Mrs Clyde," I said, "do not be my enemy!"
+
+But, she took no notice of me:--she cut me dead.
+
+I was convinced that all was lost now.
+
+It was of no use my longer attempting to fight against fate:--I gave up
+hope completely;--and then--and then--
+
+I went to the devil!
+
+Rochefoucauld says in his pointed "Maxims" that--
+
+  "There is nothing so catching as example; nor is there ever great good
+  or ill done that does not produce its like.  We imitate good actions
+  through emulation, and bad ones through the malignity of our nature,
+  which shame restrains and example emancipates."
+
+That was my case now.
+
+I suppose I had had it in me all along--the "black drop," as the Irish
+peasants call it, of evil; and, that shame had hitherto prevented me
+from plunging into the whirlpool of sinful indulgence that now drew me,
+a willing victim, down into its yawning gulf of ruin and degradation.
+That bar removed, however, I made rapid progress towards the beckoning
+devil, who was waiting to receive me with open arms.  I hastened along
+that path, "where,"--as Byron has described from his own painful
+experience--
+
+  "--In a moment, we may plunge our years
+  In fatal penitence, and in the blight
+  Of our own soul, turn all our blood to tears,
+  And colour things to come with hues of night!"
+
+I declare to you, that when I look back on this period of my life--life!
+death, rather I should say, for it was a moral death--I am quite unable
+to comprehend the motives that led me to take such a course.  My eyes
+were not blinded.  I must have seen that each stride placed me further
+and further away from my darling, erecting a fresh obstacle between us;
+still, some irresistible impulse appeared to hurry me on--although, I
+could not but have known how vain it would be for me to recover my lost
+footsteps: how hard a matter to change my direction, and look upwards to
+light and happiness once more!  Glancing back at this period--as I do
+now with horror--I cannot understand myself, I say.
+
+I went from bad to worse, plunging deeper and deeper into every
+wickedness that Satan could suggest, or flesh hanker after--until I
+seemed to lose all sense of shame and self-reproach.
+
+My connection with officialdom was soon terminated.
+
+I got later and later in my attendance; so that, old Smudge's prediction
+was shortly fulfilled, for, I became no better than the rest, in respect
+of early hours.
+
+One day the chief spoke to me on the subject, and I answered him
+unguardedly.
+
+I was not thinking of him at the time, to tell the truth; and when he
+said, "Mr Lorton, late again, late again!  This won't do, you know,
+won't do!"  I quite forgot myself; and, in speaking to him, called him
+by the nickname under which he was known to us, instead of by his proper
+appellation.
+
+"Very sorry, Smudge," said I, "very sorry; won't be so again, I promise
+you, sir!"
+
+He nearly got a fit, I assure you; while, all the other fellows were
+splitting with laughter at my slip!
+
+"Mr Lorton, I will report you, sir!" was all he said to me directly;
+but, as he shuffled off to his desk, with the attendance book recording
+my misdeeds under his arm and his face purple with passion, we all could
+hear him muttering pretty loudly to himself.  "Smudge!  Smudge!"--he was
+repeating;--"I'll Smudge him, the impudent rascal!  I wonder what the
+dooce he meant by it!  What the dooce did he mean by it?--mean by it?"
+
+I begged his pardon off-hand, immediately, of course, although I would
+not give him the written apology he peremptorily demanded.
+
+Do you know, I did not like to deprive him of the extreme pleasure it
+would give him to submit his case against me--in clerkly, cut-and-dried
+statement--to the chief commissioner, under-secretary, first lord, or
+whoever else occupied the lofty pedestal of "the board," that controlled
+the occasionally-peculiar proceedings of the Obstructor General's
+Department.
+
+I knew with what intense relish he would expatiate on the wrong which
+"the service" had sustained in his person at my hands--the "frightful
+example" I presented, of insubordination and defiance to constitutional
+authority; and how, he would draw up the most elaborate document,
+detailing all this, in flowing but strictly official language, on
+carefully-folded, quarter-margined foolscap, of the regular, authorised
+dimensions!
+
+What a pity, I thought, it would be to interfere with such neat
+arrangements by submitting to a _Nolle Prosequi_--as I would have done,
+had I tendered the recantation of my error that he insisted on!
+
+At the same time, however, I checkmated his triumph, by forwarding to
+the people in high places the resignation of that position as a clerk of
+the tertiary formation, which I had, been nominated to, examined in
+respect of, and competed for, under the auspices of Her Majesty's Polite
+Letter Writer Commissioners; and which I had been duly appointed to--all
+in proper official sequence--but one short year before, plus a few
+additional months, which were of no great consequence to any one.
+
+My withdrawal left, at any rate, one place vacant for some member of
+Parliament's constituent's son, who would, probably, be much more worthy
+in every way for the honours and duties of the situation--which, really,
+I do not think I ever estimated at their proper value!
+
+This was some satisfaction to me, I assure you; and, combined with the
+sum of one hundred and ten pounds sterling--less income-tax on one-
+fourth part of the said amount, or thereabouts: I like to be correct--
+was all the benefit I ever received from my connection with
+"Government."
+
+My year's probation was, I may say without any great exaggeration,
+thrown away; for, the knowledge I gained was not of a character to
+advance my interests in any other walk in life, professional or
+mercantile.  Still, I bear no malice to officialdom, if officialdom
+cares to obtain my assurance to that effect.  The few words--far
+between, too--which I have dropped to you, anent the combination of the
+ill-used servants of the country in opposition to their grievances, have
+been more intended to redress the wrongs of those hard-worked, poor-paid
+sufferers in question, than meant as a covert attack on the noble
+authorities of the great, lumbering institution they belong to--the
+spokes of whose broadly-tired wheels they may be said to form.
+
+For my part, I adore governmental departments, looking on all of them
+with a wide admiration that is tempered with wholesome awe; and,
+believing them to be so many concentrations of virtue and merit, which
+are none the less real because they are imperceptible.
+
+The giving up of my appointment was the finish of my mad career.
+
+I awoke now to a consciousness of all my foolishness and wickedness; the
+revelation of the misery, present and future alike, which my conduct had
+prepared for me, coming to mind, with a sudden, sharp stroke of painful
+distinctness that prostrated me into an abyss of self-torture and
+repentance.
+
+Ah!  There is no use in repining, unless one mends matters by deeds, not
+words.  Repentance is worth little if it be not followed up by
+reformation.  But, how many of us rush madly, headlong to destruction,
+without a thought of what they are doing; never mindful of their course,
+till that dreadful refrain, "Too late!" rings in their ears.
+
+As the poetical author of the ode to the "Plump Head Waiter at The
+Cock," has philosophically sung,--and, as many a weather-beaten sufferer
+has cruelly proven,--
+
+  "So fares it since the years began,
+  Till they be gather'd up;
+  The truth, that flies the flowing can,
+  Will haunt the empty cup:
+  And others' follies teach us not,
+  Nor much their wisdom teaches;
+  And most, of sterling worth, is what
+  Our own experience preaches!"
+
+I remembered now having come across a passage in Massillon's _Petit
+Careme_, some two or three years before, during a varied course of
+French reading at the library of the British Museum,--an old haunt of
+mine long previously to my ever knowing Min; and this passage occurred
+to me in my present condition, expressing a want I had long felt, and
+which I was now all the more bitterly conscious of.  It is in one of the
+sermons which the seventeenth century divine probably preached in the
+presence of the Grand Monarque.  It is entitled "Sur la Destinee de
+l'Homme;" and might, for its practical point and thorough insightedness
+into human nature, be expounded to-morrow by any of our large-hearted,
+Broad Church ministers.  In its truth, I'm sure, it is catholic enough
+to suit any creed:--
+
+  "Si tout doit finir avec nous, si l'homme ne doit rien attendre apres
+  cette vie, et que ce soit ici notre patrie, notre origine, et la seul
+  felicite que nous pouvons nous promettre, pourquoi n'y sommes-nous pas
+  heureux?  Si nous ne naissons que pour les plaisirs des sens, pourquoi
+  ne peuvent-ils nous satisfaire, et laissent-ils toujours un fond
+  d'ennui et de tristesse dans notre coeur?  Si l'homme n'a rien au-
+  dessus de la bete, que ne coule-t-il ses jours comme elle, sans souci,
+  sans inquietude, sans degout, sans tristesse, dans la felicite des
+  sens et de la chair?"
+
+Because he can not!
+
+The pleasures of life, however varied, and grateful though they may be
+at the time, soon wither on the palate; and then, when we appreciate at
+last the knowledge of their dust and ashes, their Dead Sea-apple
+constituency, we _must_ turn to something better, something higher--the
+joys of which are more lasting and whose flavour proceeds from some less
+evanescent substance.
+
+Such were my reflections now; and, in my abasement and craving for "the
+one good thing," I thought of the kind vicar.
+
+During all the time of my rioting and sin, I had never been near either
+him or Miss Pimpernell.  I would not have profaned the sanctuary of
+their dwelling with my presence!
+
+Both had tried to see me--in vain; for, I had separated myself entirely
+from all my former friends and acquaintances, burying the early
+associations of my previous life in the slough of the Bohemian-boon-
+companionship, into which I had thrown myself in London.
+
+The kind vicar had written to me a long, earnest, touching letter, which
+did not reproach me in the least but invited me to confide in him all my
+troubles; and, the dear old lady, also, had sent me many an appeal that
+she might be allowed to cheer me.  But, I had not taken notice of their
+pleadings, persevering still in evil and shutting my ears to friendly
+counsels--as I likewise did to the voice of reason speaking in my inner
+heart.
+
+Now, however, in my misery, I bethought me of these friends.  I went
+shame-faced and mentally-naked, like the prodigal son, once more to the
+vicarage.
+
+And how did they receive me?
+
+With the pharisaical philosophy of Miss Spight's school, looking on me
+as a "goat," with whom they had nothing to do:--"a lost soul," without
+the pale of their pity and almost below the par of their contempt?
+
+Not so!
+
+Dear little Miss Pimpernell got up from her arm-chair in the corner, and
+kissed me--the first time she had done such a thing since I was a little
+fellow and had sat upon her knee; while, the vicar shook me as cordially
+by the hand as he had ever done.
+
+"Dear Frank!" exclaimed the former.  "Here you are at last.  I thought
+you were never coming to us again!"
+
+That was all the allusion _she_ made to the past.
+
+"My boy," said the vicar, "I am glad to see you."
+
+That was all _he_ said; but, his speech was not mere empty verbiage.  He
+meant it!
+
+I shall not tell you how they both talked to me: so tenderly, so kindly.
+It would not interest you.  It only concerned myself.
+
+By-and-by, after a long interview, in which I laid all my troubles
+before these comforters, the vicar asked me what I thought of doing.
+
+"I shall go away,"--I said.--"I have exhausted London.--`I have lived
+and loved,' as Theckla says; and there is no hope of my getting on here!
+I would think that everybody would recall my past life, whenever they
+saw me, and throw it all back in my teeth."
+
+"But, you can live all that down, my boy," said the vicar.--"The world
+is not half so censorious as you think now, in your awakening; and,
+remember, Frank, what Shakspeare says, `There is no time so miserable,
+but a man may be true!'"
+
+"Besides," I went on,--"I want change of scene.  All these old places
+would recall the past.  I could never be happy here again."
+
+"Well, well, my boy!" he answered sadly.  "But, we shall be sorry to
+lose you, Frank, all the same, although it may be for your good."
+
+I had thought of America already, and told him that I intended going
+there.  Not from any wide-seated admiration of the Great Republic and
+its citizens; but, from its being a place within easy reach--where I
+might separate myself entirely from all that would recall home thoughts
+and home associations:--so I then believed.
+
+"I shall go there," I said, bitterly.--"At all events, I shall be
+unknown; and, can bury myself and my misery--a fitting end to a bad
+life!"
+
+"My boy, my boy!"--said the vicar, with emotion.--"It grieves me to the
+heart to hear you speak so.  Know, that repentance brings us always once
+more beneath the shelter of divine love!  You will think of this by-and-
+by, Frank:--you may carve out a new life for yourself in the new world,
+and return to us successful.  Be comforted, my boy!  Do not forget
+David's spirit-stirring words of promise,--`They that sow in tears,
+shall reap in joy; and he that now goeth on his way weeping, and beareth
+forth good seed, shall doubtless come again with joy, and bring his
+sheaves with him!'"
+
+
+
+CHAPTER EIGHT.
+
+"GOOD-BYE!"
+
+  So, upon the verge of sorrow
+  Stood we blindly hand in hand,
+  Whispering of a happy morrow
+  In the undiscovered land!
+
+The world is not half so bad a place as some discontented people make
+out.
+
+Our fellow-mortals are not _always_ striving after their own interests,
+to the neglect of their duty towards their neighbour:--the mass of
+humanity not entirely selfish at heart--no, nor yet the larger portion
+of it, by a good way!
+
+Of course, there are some ill-natured people.  Blisters, are these;
+moral cataplasms imposed on us, probably, to produce that very feeling
+we admire, acting as they do by contrast--one of the most vivifying
+principles of mental action.
+
+But, when we come to calculate their percentage, how very few they are
+in comparison with the better-disposed numbers of God's creatures that
+live and breathe, and sicken and die in our midst, and whose kindly
+ministrations on behalf of their suffering brethren and sisters around
+them, remain generally unknown, until they are far beyond any praise
+that the world can give.
+
+Yes, humanity is not so debased, but that its good points still excel
+its bad!  Just as you see but one real miser in a fixed proportion of
+men; so, are there, I believe, quite as small a representative set of
+absolutely heartless persons.  I am certain that the "good Samaritans"
+outvie the "Levites" in our daily existence--opposed, though my theory
+may be, to the ruling of the old doggerel, which cautions us that--
+
+  "'Tis a very good world to live in,
+  To spend and to lend, and to give in;
+  But,
+  To beg, or to borrow, and to get a man's own,
+  'Tis the very worst world that ever was known!"
+
+Look at my present case, for instance.  Of course, personal instances
+are, as a general rule, wrong; but, one cannot very well argue without
+them--especially when telling a story, and when they come up so
+opportunely in front of one's nose, so to speak.
+
+No sooner was it generally known in Saint Canon's that I was going away,
+than I met with offers of sympathy and assistance from many that I did
+not expect.  I did not require their aid, yet, the proffer of it could
+not help being grateful to one's feelings, all the same.
+
+There was Horner now.  You know that I was always in the habit of
+"chaffing" him, taking a malicious pleasure in so doing, from the reason
+that he could not "chaff" me back again in return.  Well, you wouldn't
+have supposed that he bore me any great love or friendship, or felt
+kindly disposed towards me?  But, he did!
+
+About a week after I left the Obstructor General's Office, he came to
+me--I assure you, much to my astonishment--offering me his assistance.
+
+"Bai-ey _Je-ove_!  Lorton," said he, "sawy to he-ah you have left us,
+you know--ah.  Thawght you might be in a hole, you know--ah?  And, Bai-
+ey Je-ove!  I say, old fellah,"--he added, almost dropping his drawl in
+his earnestness,--"if I can help you in any way at all--ah, I should
+weally be vewy glad--ah!"
+
+The "us," whom I had "left--ah," referred, of course, to officialdom;
+but, it was kind, wasn't it?
+
+There was old Shuffler, too.
+
+"You ain't a goin' to Amerikey, sir, is you?" he asked me just before my
+departure, meeting me in the street.
+
+"Yes, I am, Shuffler," I replied, "and pretty soon, too!"
+
+"Lor!  Mister Lorton; but I'm right loth to 'ear it!  I've got a brother
+myself over in Amerikey; s'pose now, sir, I was to give you a letter to
+'im?  It might, you know, some'ow or hother, be o' service, hay?"
+
+"America is a large place, Shuffler," I answered.--"Whereabouts is he
+over there, eh?"
+
+"Well, sir," said he, "I don't 'zackly knows were 'e his; but I dessay
+you'll come across him, sir.  I'll give you the letter, at hany rate;"--
+and he did too, although I combated his resolution.  I need hardly add
+that I never met the said "brother in Amerikey" of his; so, that it was
+of no use to me, as I told him--although, it was a considerate action on
+Shuffler's part!
+
+Lady Dasher, also, did not forget me.
+
+Believing that the last of the Mohicans still lived, and that the
+continent of the setting sun resembled Hounslow Heath in the old
+highwaymen's days, she presented to me--a blunderbuss!
+
+It was one with which her "poor dear papa" had been in the habit of
+frightening obstreperous White Boys, who might assail the sacred
+premises of Ballybrogue Castle--the ancestral seat of the Earls of
+Planetree in sportive Tipperary, as I believe I've told you before.  The
+weapon, she informed me, was a most efficient one, having once been
+known--when missing the advocate of "young Ireland" it was aimed at--to
+demolish a whole litter of those little gentlemen with curly tails who
+assist, in conjunction with the "praties," in "paying the rint" of the
+trusting natives of the Emerald Isle; consequently, its destructive
+powers were beyond question, and it might really, she thought, be of the
+utmost utility to me on the western prairies, where, she believed, I was
+going to "camp out" for ever!
+
+My lady gave me, in addition, a piece of advice, which she implored me
+always to bear in mind throughout my life--as she had invariably done--
+and that was, that, "Though I might unfortunately be poor, never to
+forget being proud":--it was the pass-word to her morbid system.
+
+And the vicar, and dear little Miss Pimpernell, and Monsieur Parole
+d'Honneur--how can I speak of all their kindness--evinced in many, many
+ways--ere I left the old parish and its whilom associations behind me?
+
+Little Miss Pimpernell worked a supply of knitted socks, "comforters,"
+and muffetees, sufficient to last me for a three years' cruise in the
+Polar circle in search of the north-west passage.  The vicar gave me
+letters of introduction to some American friends of his, who received me
+afterwards most kindly in virtue of his credentials--he wanted to do
+much more for me, but I would not allow him; and as for Monsieur, he
+_would_ not be denied, in spite of my telling him, over and over again,
+that I had no need of temporal assistance.
+
+"Ah! but yes!" he said to me, in a parting visit he paid me the night
+before I started.  "You cannote deceives me, my youngish friends!
+Lamartine was un republicain, he?--Bien, he go un voyage en Orient; you,
+my dears Meestaire Lorton, are going to walk on a voyage en Ouest--dat
+is vraisemble.  Ha! ha!  Ze one visite the Arabes of ze old world, ze
+oders ze Arabes of ze nouvelle; and,--bote requires ze money, ze
+l'argent, ze cash.  Ha! ha!  Non, my youngish friends, you cannote
+deceives me!"
+
+"But, I assure you, Monsieur Parole," I replied.  "I really have
+plenty--much more, indeed, than I absolutely require."
+
+"Ah! but yes!  My dears, you _moost_ take him to obliges me.  I have
+gote here a leetle somme I doos note want.  If you takes him note, I
+peetch him avays--peetch him avays, vraiment!"
+
+And he handed me a little roll of banknotes, which I subsequently found
+to contain a hundred pounds.
+
+It was, as I say, of no use my trying to get him to take them back; he
+would have no denial:--he absolutely got offended with me when I
+persisted in my refusal.
+
+"Non!" he said.  "When you come back a reech mans, you can pays me back;
+but, note till den!  Non, Monsieur Lorton!  I believes you considers me
+a friend.  You offend me if you refuse!  Take hims for ze memory de
+notre amitie!"
+
+What could I do?  I had to take the money after that.
+
+The only _great_ thing that grieved me at parting was the thought that I
+could not see Min, to have one parting word; but, even that favour was
+afforded me:--God was very good to me!
+
+I had gone to the vicarage to say a last good-bye to the dear friends
+there.  I was ushered into Miss Pimpernell's parlour; but _she_ was not
+there.  Somebody else was, though; for, who should get up from the dear
+old lady's seat in the fireside corner--where she always sat, winter and
+summer alike--but, my darling!
+
+The surprise was almost too much for me, it was so unexpected.  I
+thought it was her ghost at first.
+
+"Min!"  I exclaimed.
+
+"Oh, Frank!"--she said, coming forwards eagerly--"and could you have the
+heart to go away without my seeing you again?"
+
+I drew back.
+
+"Min,"--said I,--"do not come near me!  You do not know what has
+occurred; how I have sinned; how unworthy I am even to speak to you!"
+
+She would not be denied, however.  She came nearer me, and took my hand.
+"But, you have repented, Frank,"--she said--"have you not?"
+
+"Oh, my darling!"--I said,--"I _have_ repented; but that will not bring
+back the past.  I can never hope to be forgiven, I know.  I ought not to
+speak to you even!"
+
+"Ah, Frank!"--she replied, looking up into my face with her dear grey
+eyes, which I had thought I would never look upon again.--"Don't you
+remember that sermon the vicar preached last year, when we were in
+church together? and, don't you remember the words of his text, how
+assuring they ought to be to us?--`Though your sins be as scarlet, they
+shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall
+be as wool!'"
+
+We were both silent.
+
+Presently, as we sat side by side, Min spoke to me again.
+
+"You will not forget me, Frank, will you?" she asked.
+
+"That is very likely!"  I said, laughing in my heart at the idea.
+
+"And you will be good, Frank, will you not?"
+
+"My darling," I said, "with God's grace I shall never from henceforth be
+unworthy of your trust in me, either in thought, in word, or, in deed."
+
+"But America is _so_ far off!" she said again after a bit, with a tender
+little sigh.
+
+"Not so _very_ far,"--I replied,--"and, though my body may be a few
+miles distant from you--for it _is_ only a few miles over the sea--you
+may know that my heart will always be with you.  I shall be ever
+thinking of the time when I can come back and claim you as my own
+darling little wife!"
+
+"But I can make no promise, you know, Frank!"--she said.
+
+"Never mind that, darling!"--I replied.--"I am sanguine enough to
+believe you will not change towards me if I deserve you by my life; and
+_I_ shall never marry anyone else, I know!"
+
+"It is so hard, too, our not being able to write to each other!  I will
+never be able to know what you are doing!" she said, again.
+
+"Ah, yes, you will!" said I, to encourage her.
+
+As she became despondent, I got sanguine; although, a tear in the soft
+grey eyes would have unmanned me at once.
+
+"Miss Pimpernell is going to write to me, you know,"--I continued,--"and
+I to her; so you will be made acquainted with all I do and, even, think.
+I will write fully to the dear old lady, I promise you!"
+
+She gave me a little Bible and Prayer-book, before we separated, in
+which she had written my name; and, told me that she would pray every
+night for me, that I might know that her prayers joined mine, and that
+both, together, would go up before the Master's throne--notwithstanding
+that the Atlantic might roll between us.
+
+She also gave me a likeness of herself, which was of more solace to me
+afterwards than I can tell.
+
+A little, simple photograph it was, that has lain before my eyes a
+thousand times--in hope, in sadness, in sickness, in disappointment;
+and, that has always cheered me and encouraged me in some of the darkest
+moments of my life, ever bringing back to my mind the darling words of
+the giver.
+
+And then, we parted.
+
+One sobbing sigh, that expressed a world of emotion.  One frenzied clasp
+of her to my heart, as if I could never let her go; and, our "Good-bye"
+was spoken, accomplished:--a good-bye whose recollection was to last!
+until I returned to claim her, receiving the welcome that her darling
+rosebud lips would gladly utter; and watching, the while, the unspoken
+delight that would then, I know, dance from the loving, soul-lit, truth-
+telling, grey eyes!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER NINE.
+
+ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
+
+  O'er the glad waters of the dark blue sea,
+  Our thoughts as boundless and our souls as free,
+  Far as the breeze can bear, the billows foam,
+  Survey our empire and behold our home!
+
+  "Sir," said the Honourable Mister Pigeonbarley of Missouri, "we _air_
+  a peculiar people.  Jes so!"
+
+Have you never noticed how, when travelling on a long journey, the
+wheels of the railway carriage in which you are sitting seem always to
+be rattling out some carefully studied tune, to which the jolts of the
+vehicle beat a concerted bass; while, the slackening of the coupling
+chains, in combination with the concussion of the buffers as they hitch
+up suddenly again, sounds a regular obbligato accompaniment--the scream
+of the steam whistle, and the thundering whish and whirr of the train
+through a deep cutting or tunnel, or over a bridge with water below,
+coming in occasionally as a sort of symphony to the main air?
+
+Have you never noticed this?
+
+No?  Bless me, what a _very_ unimaginative person you are!  I have,
+frequently; and yet, I do not think I am any brighter than the ordinary
+run of people.
+
+Drawn some odd thousands of miles by the iron horse, as it has been my
+fortune to be during different periods of my life, I have seldom failed
+to associate his progress thus with those lesser Melpomenean nymphs, who
+may be selected to watch over the destinies of the steam god and fill up
+their leisure hours by "riding on a rail," in the favourite fashion of
+the South Carolinian darkeys.
+
+Of course the carriage wheels do not perpetually sing the same song:--
+that would be monotonous.
+
+They know better than that, I can assure you.  Sometimes they rattle out
+the maddest of mad waltzes--such as that which the imprudent German
+young lady, living near the Harz Mountains, found herself dancing one
+day against her will, when she had given expression to the very improper
+statement, that, she would "take the devil for a partner," if he only
+would put in an appearance at the gay and festive scene at which she was
+then present.  Sometimes, again, they will evolve, note by note, the
+dreariest air that the composer of the Dead March in _Saul_ could have
+devised; or, croon you out a soothing lullaby, should you feel sleepy,
+to which the charming melody of "The Cradle Song" would bear no
+comparison.  In fact, the nymphs know their work well; and so alter
+their strains as to suit every mood and humour of the variously-tempered
+travellers that listen to their musical cadences.
+
+As I proceeded now on my way to Southampton, where I was to take the
+ocean steamer for my passage to America, the railway nymphs were busy
+with their harmonies.
+
+Not sad or dispiriting by any means, but briskly enlivening was their
+lay.
+
+They seemed to me to sing--
+
+  "You're off on your travels!  Off on your travels,
+  To fame and fortune in another land!
+  To wait and work, Frank!  Wait and work, Frank!
+  Ere you gain your own Min's hand!"
+
+And, perhaps, it was from the recollection of Monsieur Parole
+d'Honneur's kindness, and from my having been in company with him that
+winter in Paris, where I had heard that opera of Offenbach's for the
+first time, but the tune of the carriage wheels was strangely like the
+"Pars pour Crete" chorus in the second act of _La Belle Helene_--where,
+if you remember, the unfortunate Menelaus is hustled off the stage, in
+company with his portly umbrella and other belongings, in order to make
+room for the advent of Paris, the "gay deceiver," the successful
+intriguant!
+
+Although my thoughts were wrapped up in memories of Min and her parting,
+hopeful words, and my inner eyes still saw her standing at the window,
+waving her handkerchief to me in mute adieu, my outward vision was
+keenly watchful of each landpoint the train hurried by.
+
+I remember every incident on the way.
+
+Not a thing escaped me.
+
+The outlook for baggage at Waterloo; the feeing of the obsequious porter
+expectant of a douceur; the mistake I made in getting my ticket which
+had to be rectified at the last moment; the confused ringing of bells
+and clattering of trucks up and down the platform; the slamming of doors
+and hurrying of feet to and fro:--then, the sudden pause in all these
+sounds; the shrill whistle, betokening all was ready; the converting of
+all the employes into animated sign-posts, that waved their arms wildly;
+the grunt and wheeze from the engine, as if from a giant in pain; the
+sharp jerk, and then the steady pull at the carriage in which I was
+sitting; the "pant, pant! puff, puff!" of the iron horse, as he buckled
+to his work with a will; and then, finally, the preliminary oscillation
+of the ponderous train, the trembling and rumbling of creaking wheels
+along the rails--as we glided and bumped, slowly but steadily, out of
+the terminus--the distance signal showing "all clear" to us, and
+blocking the up line with the red semaphore of "danger."
+
+Past Vauxhall, once famed for its revelry--conspicuous, now, only for
+its picturesque expanse of candle-factory roofs and the dead boarding
+that is displayed skirting the railway:--Clapham, villa-studded and with
+gardens laid out in bird's-eye perspective:--Surbiton, dainty in its
+pretty little road-side station, all garnished with roses and shell-
+walks:--Farnborough, where a large proportion of our passengers, of
+military proclivities, alight en route for Aldershot, and celebrated of
+yore for the "grand international" contest with fisticuffs between a
+British Sayers and a Transatlantic Heenan:--Basingstoke, the great ugly
+"junction" of many twisted rails and curiously-intricate stacks of
+chimneys; until, at length, Southampton was reached--a town smelling of
+docks and coal-tar, and dismal in the evening gloom.
+
+Not a feature of the landscape on my way down was lost to me; although,
+as I've said, I was thinking of Min all the time the train was speeding
+on.
+
+I was wondering within myself, in a duplicate system of thought, when I
+would see the scene again, in all its variations, as I saw it clearly,
+now; and whether the green meadows, and fir-summited hills, and shining
+water-courses that wandered through and around them--nay, whether the
+very telegraph posts and wires, and the country stations we rattled past
+so quickly and unceremoniously, as if they were not worth stopping for--
+would look the same on my coming back to England and my darling once
+more!
+
+But, I was not sad or down-hearted.
+
+Her last words had rendered me almost as hopeful as she professed to be;
+so, in spite of my great grief at our parting, a grief which was too
+deep for words, I was endeavouring more to look forward sanguinely to
+the future than dwell on all our past unhappiness--which I tried to put
+away from me as a bad dream.
+
+I was only musing, that's all.
+
+It is impossible to keep one's mind idle, you know; for, even when
+engaged in an abstract contemplation of the most engrossing theme, the
+fancy _will_ stray off into by-paths that lead to strangely dissimilar
+ideas and very disconnected associations.
+
+As the German steamer in which I was going to New York did not start
+until next day, I put up for the night at Radley's--that haven of shore-
+comfort to the Red-Sea-roasted, Biscay-tossed, sea-sickened Indian
+warriors returning home by the P and O vessels--where, you may be sure,
+I met with every attention that my constitution required in the way of
+rest and refreshment; and, at midday on the morrow, embarking on board
+the stately _Herzog von Gottingen_, I passed through the Needles,
+outward-bound across the Atlantic to the "New World" of promise!
+
+Ocean voyages are so common now-a-days that they are not worth
+mentioning.
+
+Mine was no exception to the rule; the only noticeable point that I
+observed being the rare courageous temperament of the Teutonic ladies,
+and the undaunted spirit they displayed in "fighting their battles o'er
+again" at the saloon table, in despite of the insidious attacks of
+Neptune.  No matter how frequently the fell malady of the sea should
+assail them--at breakfast, or lunch, or dinner, or at any of the other
+and many meals which the ship's caterer thought necessary to our diurnal
+wants--these delicate fair ones would "never say die," on having to beat
+a precipitate retreat to their cabins.  They would return again, I
+assure you, in a few minutes, to resume the repast which had been
+temporarily interrupted; smiling as if nothing had happened, and
+showing, too, that nothing _had_ happened, to seriously interfere with
+their deglutinal faculties!
+
+This was not my first voyage--I did not tell you so before?
+
+Well, suppose I did not; don't you remember my saying that I was not
+aware of being under any obligation to you which would make me regard
+you as the receptor of _all_ my secrets?
+
+This was not my first voyage, I say; consequently, ship-board life was
+no novelty to me--nor the Atlantic Ocean, either, for that matter.  I
+was used to the one, I had seen the other previously.  I was as much at
+home to both, in fact, as I had been in the vicarage parlour standing
+beside dear little Miss Pimpernell's old arm-chair in the chimney
+corner!
+
+I love the sea, in rest or unrest.
+
+It is never monotonous to me, as some find it; for I think it ever-
+changing, ever new.  I love it always--under every aspect of its
+kaleidoscopic face.
+
+When, bright with mellow sunshine, it reflects the intense blue of the
+ocean sky above, with a brisk breeze topping its many-furrowed waves--
+that are racing by and leaping over each other like a parcel of
+schoolboys at play--and cutting off sheets and sparkling showers of the
+prismatic foam that exhibits every tint of the rainbow--azure and
+orange, violet, light-green, and pale luminous white,--scatters it
+broadcast into the air around; whence it falls into yeasty hollows, a
+sort of feathery snow of a fairy texture, just suited for the bridal
+veils of the Nereides--only to be churned over again and tossed up anew
+by the wanton wind in its frolicsome mirth.
+
+Or, when, in a dead calm, it appears to lie sleeping, heaving its tumid
+bosom in occasional long-drawn sighs--that make it rise and sink in
+rounded ridges of an oily look and a leadeny tinge, except at the
+equator, where they shine at midday like a burnished mirror.
+
+Or, again, when storm-tossed and tempest-weary, it rages and raves with
+all its pent-up fury broken loose--goaded to frenzy by the howling
+lashes of Aeolus and the roar of the storm-fiend.  Then it is grand and
+awful in its majesty; and when I see it so it makes me mad with a
+triumphant sense of power in overriding it--as it boils beneath the
+vessel's keel, longing to overwhelm it and me, yet impotent of evil!
+
+Whether in calm or in storm--at dawn of day, with the rosy flush of the
+rising sun blushing the horizon up to the zenith, or at night, with the
+twinkling stars shining down into its sombre depths and the recurring
+flashes of sheet lightning lighting up its immensity, which seems vaster
+as the darkness grows--it is to me always attractive, ever lovable.
+
+In its bright buoyancy it exhilarates me; in its calm, it causes me to
+dream; and, in its wild moods, when heaven and sea appear to meet
+together in wrestling embrace, I can--if joyous at the time--almost
+shout aloud in ecstasy of admiring awe and kindred riot of mind; while,
+should I feel sad during the carnival of the elements, I get reflective,
+and--
+
+  "As I watch the ocean
+  In pitiless commotion,
+  Like the thoughts, now surging wildly through my storm-tost breast,
+  The snow-capt, heaving billows
+  Seem to me as lace-fring'd pillows
+  Of the deep Deep's bed of rest!"
+
+Did you ever chance to read Chateaubriand's _Genie du Christianisme_?
+
+It is a queer book for a Frenchman to have written, but abounding in
+beautiful description and startling bits of observation.  I remember,
+one evening on the passage out, when it was very rough, having a
+particular sentence of this work especially called to my mind.  It was
+that in which the author discourses on the Deity, and says,--
+
+  "I do not profess to be anything myself; I am only a solitary unit.
+  But I have often heard learned men disputing about a chief originator,
+  or prime cause, and I have never been able to comprehend their
+  arguments; for I have always noticed that it is at the sight of the
+  stupendous movements of nature that the idea of this unknown supreme
+  `origin' becomes manifested to the mind of man."
+
+This sentence was the more impressed on my memory, from the fact, that,
+on the very same evening, while reading the appointed portion of the
+Psalms out of the little Prayer-book which Min had given me--a duty that
+I had promised her to perform regularly every day--I came across a
+verse, which, in different language, expressed almost the very same
+thing.  It was the one wherein David exclaims, "They that go down to the
+sea in ships, and occupy their business in great waters, these men see
+the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep!"
+
+Our voyage was uneventful, beyond this one instance of rough weather--
+when, throughout the night, as the steamer pitched and heaved, rolling
+and labouring, as if her last hour was come, the screw propeller worked
+round with a heavy thudding sound, as if some Cyclops were pounding away
+under my bunk with a broomstick to rouse me up, my cabin being just over
+the screw shaft.  It went for awhile "thump:--thump! thump, thump,
+thump!  Thump:--thump!  Thump, thump, thump!" with even regularity; and
+then would suddenly break off this movement, whizzing away at a great
+rate, as the "send" of the sea lifted the blades out of the water,
+buzzing furiously the while like some marine alarum clock running down,
+or the mainspring of your watch breaking!
+
+In the morning, however, only the swelling waves--that were rapidly
+subsiding--remained to remind us of the gale; and, from that date, we
+had fine weather and a good wind "a-beam," until we finally sighted
+Sandy Hook lightship at the foot of New York Bay.
+
+We did this in exactly ten days from the time of our "departure point"
+being taken, off the Needles.--Rather a fair run on the whole, when you
+consider that we lost fully a day by the storm, compelling us as it did,
+not only to slacken speed, but also to reverse our course, in order to
+keep the vessel's head to the sea, and prevent her being pooped by some
+gigantic following wave--as might have been the case if we had kept on
+before it, as the unfortunate _London_ did, a short period before.
+
+My first impressions of "the Empire city," as the proud Manhattanese
+fondly style it, were, certainly, not favourable; rather the contrary, I
+may say at once, without any "beating about the bush."
+
+You see, I landed on a Sunday.  It was likewise wet--a nasty, drizzling,
+misty morning, fit to give you the blues with its many disagreeables and
+make you bless Mackintosh, while cursing Pleiads.  Now, either of these
+two conditions--I do not refer to the act of benediction or its reverse,
+but to the fact of its being Sunday and wet--would have been sufficient
+to detract from the attractive merits of any English town; how much
+more, therefore, from those possessed by the great cosmopolitan
+metropolis of Transatlantica?  This city is in bad weather a hundred-
+fold more desolate than London, in an aesthetic sense, and that is
+saying a good deal; and, on a Sunday, through the absence of any
+Sabbatarian influences and the working of teetotal tastes, it is more
+outwardly dull and inwardly vicious than any spot north of Tweed--
+Glasgow, for example, where the name of the illustrious Forbes Mackenzie
+is venerated!
+
+To commence with, during the early morning we had warped into dock at
+Hoboken, the Rotherhithe--and, in some respects, Rosherville--of New
+York, being situated on the opposite side of the river; and here, the
+_Herzog von Gottingen_ lay, with her bowsprit jammed into a coal shed
+and her decks, aforetime so white and clean, all bespattered with dirt,
+and encumbered with hawsers and cables.  These latter coiling and
+uncoiling themselves here, there, and everywhere, like so many writhing
+sea-serpents, and, tripping you up suddenly just when you believed you
+had discovered a clear space on which you might stand without
+imperilling your valuable life.
+
+Besides, the crew were engaged in getting up luggage from the lower hold
+by the aid of a donkey engine, which made a great deal of clattering
+fuss over doing a minimum amount of work--in which respect it resembled
+a good many people of my acquaintance, by the way.  It was not pleasant
+to have the iron-bound cover of a heavy chest poked into the small of
+one's back without leave or licence, and the entire article being
+subsequently deposited on one's toes!  No, it was not.  And, to make
+matters worse, the escape steam, puffing off in volumes from the waste
+pipe in a hollow roar of relief at being no longer compelled to earn its
+living, was condensing an additional shower for our benefit--that was
+not more agreeable, in consequence of being warm--as if the drizzling
+rain that was falling was not deemed sufficient for wetting purposes!
+
+After settling matters with the Custom House, and crossing the ferry
+from Hoboken, myself and all my goods packed in a hackney carriage hung
+on very high springs--like the old "glass coaches" that were used in
+London during the early part of the century, although, unlike them,
+drawn by a pair of remarkably fine horses--my drive through the back
+slums of New York to one of the Broadway hotels was not of a nature to
+dispel my vapours.
+
+The lower parts of the town, adjacent to the Hudson, are about as
+odoriferous and architecturally beautiful as a sixth-rate seaport in
+"the old country."  While, as for Broadway itself--that much be-praised-
+boulevard--Broadway, the "great," the "much pumpkins, I guess"--to see
+which, I had been told by enthusiastic Americans, was to behold the very
+thirteenth wonder of the world!--Well, the less I say about it, perhaps
+the better!
+
+If you are still inquisitive, however, and would kindly imagine what
+your feelings would be on beholding Upper Oxford Street on a November
+day--with a few draggling flags hung across it, one or two "blocks" of
+brown-stone buildings interspersed between its rows of uneven shops, and
+a lofty-spired church, like Saint Margaret's, jutting out into the
+roadway by the Marble Arch--you will have a general idea of my
+impressions when first looking at the magnificent thoroughfare that our
+cousins love.
+
+It has evidently secured its reputation, from being the only decent
+street in New York--just as Sackville Street in Dublin is "a foine place
+entirely," on account of its being the only one of any respectable
+length or width in the city on the Liffey--if you will kindly permit the
+comparison for a moment?
+
+I was disappointed, I confess.
+
+Ever since boyhood I had pictured America, and everything belonging to
+it, from Fennimore Cooper's standpoint.  I thought I was going to a spot
+quite different from any locality I had previously been accustomed to;
+and, lo!  New York was altogether commonplace.  Nothing original,
+nothing tropical, nothing "New World"-like about it.  It was only an
+ordinary town of the same stamp as many I have noticed on this side of
+the water--a European city in a slop suit--"Yankee" all over in _that_
+way!
+
+In regard to its extent, which I had been led to believe was quite equal
+to, if not surpassing, our metropolis, I found that I could walk from
+one side of it to the other in half an hour; and traverse its length in
+twice that time--the entire island on which it is built being only nine
+miles long.  "Why," thought I, when I had arrived at this knowledge,
+"some of our suburbs could beat that!"
+
+When bright days came, Broadway undoubtedly looked a little better--
+Barnum's streamers, "up town," floating out bravely over the heads of
+the "stage" drivers--but I was never able to overcome my first
+impressions of it and New York generally; and, to make an end of the
+matter, I may say now, that the longer I stayed in the "land of the
+settin' sun," north, south, east, and west--I had experience of all--the
+less I saw to like in it.
+
+The country and the scenery are well enough; but the people!
+
+Ah! if the Right Honourable John Bright and other ardent admirers of
+everything connected with the "great Republic" on the other side of the
+ocean, would but go over, as I did, and study it honestly from every
+point of view for three years, say, they _must_ come to a different
+opinion about the nation which they are so constantly eulogising at the
+expense of their own!
+
+Don't let them merely run over to see it in gala trim, however, and have
+its workings explained only to them through a transatlantic section of
+the same clique of which they are members at home; but let them go in a
+private capacity and see things for themselves, mixing amongst all
+classes of the American community, and not only in one circle.
+
+They won't, though.
+
+The Manchester manufacturer of "advanced views" visits the Massachusetts
+manufacturer;--and, derives all _his_ knowledge of America and her
+institutions from him.  The trades' union delegate of England palavers
+with the working-men's societies of the eastern states; whence he gets
+_his_ information of Transatlantic polemics.  The ballot enthusiast over
+here talks, and only _talks_, mind you! with the believer in the ballot
+over there; and so arrives at _his_ conclusions on the subject of secret
+voting--and then, all these return to this "down-trodden," "aristocracy-
+ridden," "effete old kingdom," and prate about the glorious way in which
+their several theories work across the ocean--not one of them having
+resided long enough beneath the stars and stripes to be able to judge of
+the truth of what they allege, as they are quite contented to take for
+gospel the hearsay with which they bolster up their own opinions!
+
+If these respective persons would only go out and live, I say, for three
+years consecutively in the States, and move about outside of their
+respective bigotted grooves, they would find out, in time, that, the
+boasted free, liberty-loving, advanced, progressive commonwealth on the
+other side of "the big pond," is?--one of the most despotic, intolerant,
+morally-and-politically-rotten republics that ever existed, bar none!
+
+What will your ballot-advocate--who anathematises "Tory coercion," and
+is continually urging into notice the "purity of election" that
+characterises the system of our "cousins"--say, to the fact, that one
+party of "free and enlightened citizens" of the model cosmos of his
+admiration regularly sell their votes to the highest bidder; while,
+another set, under a military despotism, are compelled to exercise the
+franchise only in a manner pleasing to a dominant faction?  What will
+your Democratic Dilke, or Ouvrier Odger--who may, in this "speech-
+gagged," "oppressed" country, heap scurrilous abuse on royalty and
+overhaul the washing bills of her Majesty without let or hindrance--say,
+for the "liberty of speech" on the other side; where, if they were to
+utter a word in favour of the conquered Confederates, amongst a certain
+school of "black republicans," they would run the risk of having a
+revolver bullet in their epigastric region before they knew where they
+were?
+
+How would your communistic enthusiast, who bawls out about the equality
+of all men, like to see, as I have seen, "respectable cullered pussons,"
+representatives of the beloved "man and a brother," _wearing livery_,
+the "badge of servitude," which is only supposed to be donned by the
+"menials of European tyrants?"  And yet, these darkey flunkeys are in
+the service of free and equal citizens of a "Great Republic," strange to
+say!
+
+What does your Manchester "Spinning Jenney," the earnest upholder of
+free trade, say to the "Protection" policy of his congeners in the
+States?
+
+How can he reconcile his statements _here_ with facts _there_?
+
+Where is the "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite," now, when you really come
+to dive below the surface, and see things as they are in America, eh?--
+
+But, bless you, these reformers will _not_ so regard the objects of
+their veneration.  They will only see them in the light in which they
+choose to see them; and would swear black was white in order to answer
+their purpose!
+
+Your true radical or republican--the name "liberal" is a misnomer--is,
+as I have often heard the vicar say, one of the most intolerant,
+illiberal persons under the sun.  His idea of freedom, is, that
+everybody should be free to do as _he_ pleases:--if they object to his
+programme, they are evidently not sufficiently "advanced" to suit him!
+His liberty of speech, is, for himself to spout away ad libitum on his
+hobby, and everybody else who may not agree with him to hold his tongue!
+His theory of equality is, for all above him in station to be brought
+down to _his_ level, and then, for _him_ to remain cock of the walk!
+
+I have studied the animal.  That's his view of it, depend upon it!  He
+will not be convinced.  He will not even "argue the point," nor listen
+to a word said on the side contrary to that which he espouses.  He has
+_his_ opinions, he says; and will stick to them, right or wrong--
+notwithstanding the home truths that may lie in those of others opposed
+to him.  Dogged, certainly:--liberal, no!  Do you doubt what I say?--Let
+us go to particulars then.
+
+Your candid disestablishers, for instance,--will they meet your
+outspoken churchmen, who stand up for the old faith in the constitution,
+on an open platform; and discuss the question of a national church on a
+common footing, where both its opponents and its supporters can be
+heard?
+
+Will your would--be--republican, foregathering at some Hole-in-the-Wall
+meeting, allow a conservative speaker to say a word in opposition to his
+progressive puerilities?  Your teetotal-alliancer, in a quorum of water-
+drinkers, will he _let_ a licensed victualler utter a protest against
+his scheme for universal abstinence?
+
+No.
+
+Each and all of these several cliques are, in common with all cliques,
+narrow-minded and intolerant.  They prefer being kings of their
+respective small companies and enjoying the mutual admiration of a
+packed assembly, to coming out boldly like men and letting the pros and
+cons of their schemes be ventilated in free discussion at genuine
+meetings, composed of diverse elements.--Do you want any further proof?
+
+I confess, I don't like republics or republicans.  Once upon a time,
+before seeing how they worked, I undoubtedly had a leaning towards the
+"liberalism," as I thought it, of this school; but a thorough exposure
+of the "institution" and the character of its partisans in America and
+in France have completely opened my eyes to their real nature.
+
+Were I asked, now, to define a republic, I should say that it was a
+general scramble for power and perquisites, by a lot of ragged rascals
+with empty pockets, who have everything to gain by success, and nothing
+to lose by failure.--A sort of "rough and tumble" fight, in which those
+with the easiest consciences, the loudest tongues and the wildest
+promises, come to the fore, letting "the devil take the hindmost!"
+
+It is a so-called commonwealth, wherein the welfare of the mass is
+subordinated to party spirit; and in which each aspirant for place and
+power, well knowing that his chief ambition is to "feather his own nest"
+without any afterthought of patriotism, kicks down his struggling
+brother--likewise on the lookout for the loaves and fishes of office--
+ostracising him, if he doesn't put up with the treatment quietly!
+
+I may be wrong, certainly, and I'm open to argument on the point, but I
+like our old system best.  I infinitely prefer a gentleman with a
+reputation, to a snob with none; and a clean shirt to a dirty one! and
+if you allow that I possess the right of selecting my future rulers, I
+would much rather have those whom birth and education have taught at
+least toleration, than a parcel of grubby-nailed democrats, innocent of
+soap-and-water, who wish to choke their one-sided creed, willy-nilly,
+down my throat, in defiance of my inclinations and better judgment; and
+whose sole interest in "their fellow man" is centred in the problem--how
+to line their own pockets at his cost, in the neatest way!
+
+"Sans culottes" and the "Bonnet Rouge" for those who like them; but, as
+a matter of choice, I prefer a pair of decent "inexpressibles" and a
+Lincoln and Bennett "chapeau!"  As the elder Capulet's first scullion
+sagely remarked to his fellow-servant--
+
+  "When good manners shall lie all in one or two men's hands, and they
+  unwashed too, 'tis a foul thing!"
+
+There are men calling themselves "politicians"--save the mark! that
+would have us pull down the old constitutional machine, (lumbering it
+may be,) which has served our purpose for generations, and whose working
+and capabilities we have tested some odd thousand years; to replace it
+with the newfangled gimcrack model which is continually getting out of
+gear across the Atlantic; and I have no patience with them.  I do not
+particularly desire to run America and its people down; but, when we are
+in the habit of criticising the deeds and doings of our continental
+neighbours, without much reticence as to our likes and dislikes, I do
+not see why any especial immunity should be placed over Americans to
+taboo them from honest judgment!
+
+I must say that when I hear and read the fulsome admiration that it has
+been the fashion of late to express and write concerning our so-called
+"cousins," it fairly makes my blood boil.  If nobody else _will_ "take
+the gilt off the gingerbread," why shouldn't I try to do so?
+
+The truth of the matter, with regard to America, is that the Columbian
+eagle makes such a tremendous cackling over every little _egg_ it lays,
+that we cis-Atlantic folks rate its achievements much higher than they
+deserve!
+
+We do not kick up a fuss about our general proceedings; consequently, we
+imagine something very great must have happened to cause the Bird o'
+Freedom to burst into such gallinacious paeans of delight.
+
+The "advancement" of the first Republic, you say?--Why, it has taken
+over a hundred years to grow, and it _ought_ to be arriving at maturity
+by this time!
+
+The determination of its citizens displayed in crushing out secession?--
+They took four years to do it in, although they had an army and navy
+provided to their hand, and were receiving recruits in hundreds from the
+masses of incoming emigrants, up to the very end of the struggle; while,
+the Southerners had to improvise everything, and their forces dwindled
+down day by day.
+
+We put down the Indian mutiny in 1857 with a little handful of troops,
+that had to confront thousands upon thousands of insurgent Hindoos
+before a single reinforcement could arrive from England:--_we_ never
+triumphed so loudly about what we did on that occasion; and yet, our
+campaign against the Sepoys was fought over a far more extended
+territory than the war for the "Union."
+
+Their progress, you remark?
+
+Pooh, my dear sir!  One would almost think, to hear you talk, that the
+old world had stood still in sheer astonishment ever since the "new" was
+ushered into being!
+
+Granted, that a few wooden shanties are run up "out west" on the
+prairies, and styled "towns," and that these towns grow into "cities"
+by-and-by:--what then?  Are there not miles of streets, and houses
+without number, added to London, and other little villages over here
+every year, which do not attract any comment--except in the annual
+report of the Registrar General?
+
+Their Union Pacific Railway, connecting New York with Saint Francisco;
+and hence abridging the distance between Europe and Asia!
+
+A "big thing," certainly; but have you forgotten our Underground line,
+and the Holborn Viaduct, and the Thames Embankment--either and all of
+which can vie with the noblest relics of ancient Rome?
+
+Bah!  Don't talk to me in that strain, please.  Has not France also
+achieved the Suez Canal, and Italy the Mont Cenis tunnel--both works
+surpassing any feat of Transatlantic engineering ever attempted.  Why,
+their Hoosaic tunnel, which is not near the size of the Alpine one, and
+which has been talked of and worked at for the last twenty years, is not
+yet half completed!  Have we not, too, run railways through the jungles
+of India, and spanned the wastes of Australia with the electric wire?
+
+Ha! while alluding to telegraphs, let us instance the Atlantic cable.
+_That_ strikes nearer home, doesn't it?  Originated as the idea was by
+an American, Cyrus Field--to whom may all honour be given--can you
+inform me which country is entitled to take credit for its success--slow
+England or smart America?
+
+You won't answer, eh?  Then I'll tell you.
+
+The company that conducted that undertaking to a triumphant issue--was
+got up in London, and formed mostly of Englishmen.  The money that paid
+for the ocean cable--came out of the pockets of English shareholders.
+English manufacturers constructed it:--English artisans fashioned it;
+and an English ship, the largest ever built, manned by an English crew,
+laid it.  There! what do you say to that now, eh?
+
+"Caved in?"
+
+I guessed so.  Thought _we_ "could crow some, I reckon."
+
+But, I will say no more on the subject.  I have allowed you to have the
+free benefit of my opinions--such as they are--at your private
+valuation, no discount allowed!
+
+You don't seem pleased--what is it that you say?
+
+You want to hear about my doings; and not my opinions?
+
+Bless me!  How very impatient you are.  I was only just going to
+continue my story!
+
+How can you hear about me without hearing my opinions also?
+
+I dare say they may not appear palatable to you.  There is no accounting
+for tastes; and, as you probably know, "veritas odium parit!"
+
+Still, you cannot separate a man and his opinions; they are inseparable.
+
+Fancy an individual without an opinion of his own!
+
+Why, he would be a nonentity--a thing!
+
+Don't talk nonsense.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TEN.
+
+A HARD FIGHT.
+
+  Across the wide Atlantic--
+  It drives me almost frantic,
+  To watch the breakers breaking, and hear their dull, low roar!--
+  My soul is winging madly;
+  And my eyes are peering sadly,
+  As I span the long, long distance from my home-girt shore!
+
+I was disgusted with America in more ways than one.
+
+Being of a hopeful, castle-building temperament, I had sanguinely
+thought that I would meet with employment there at once; and, be able to
+master in some unknown, mysterious way, the great art of money-making,
+on the very instant that I landed in the New World!
+
+I really imagined it, I think, to be an enchanted place, where every
+newly-arrived person became magically changed into a sort of Midas on a
+small scale; transforming everything he touched, if not into gold--the
+days of California were now over--at all events into Washington
+"eagles," or Mexican silver dollars, or even greenbacks, which were
+better than nothing, although greasy and not acknowledged at their
+nominal value.
+
+Upon my word, I really believe that that was my secret opinion
+concerning America before I actually crossed the Atlantic!
+
+Probably, I would not have told you so had you asked me then; but I
+think that was my real idea about it.  It was to me an Eldorado, where
+ill-luck was undreamt of; and where I should be able to heap up riches
+without the slightest out-of-the-way exertion on my part, in an
+incredibly short space of time:--riches that would enable me to return
+home, in the character of a millionaire, in a year or two at the
+outside, and claim Min's hand from the then-unresisting Mrs Clyde!
+
+Was I not a fool?  Pray, say so, if you think it.--_I_ won't mind, bless
+you! for, I know that there are more such in the world besides myself,
+eh?
+
+I soon found out my mistake.
+
+Not only was the cost of living excessively high--I had to pay twelve
+dollars a week for a bedroom in Brooklyn, an adjacent suburb, with
+"board" of which I did not partake very frequently, through an inherent
+dislike to bad cookery--but employment of any description was so
+difficult to be obtained that for every vacant situation advertised in
+the New York papers there were several hundred applicants, amongst whom
+an Englishman stood a very poor chance of being selected when competing
+with native citizens.
+
+Do you know, Transatlantica is about the very worst quarter of the globe
+for an educated man to go to, who has no scientific attainments, such as
+a knowledge of chemistry and engineering--which may occasionally stand
+him in good stead.
+
+For skilled artisans, or those brought up to a regular trade, there are
+good wages to be had, and constant work; but a "gentleman," or clerk--
+unless he intends reversing the whole training of his life, which he
+will find an extremely difficult thing to do--had far better go and
+break stones on the highways at home, than think to improve his
+condition by emigrating to America!
+
+There are some men who can throw off all old associations and the habits
+in which they have been bred from boyhood, but, not one in a thousand--
+though I have myself seen an Oxford graduate acting as an hotel tout in
+Cincinnati and the son of a "Bart, of the British Empire" driving a mud
+cart in Chicago!--neither of these, either, had been brought down by
+drinking, that general curse of exiled Englishmen in ill-luck.
+
+I had good introductions; and yet, although I met with great hospitality
+in being asked out to dinner, I could never get any employment put in my
+way.
+
+A dinner is a dinner, certainly, and a very good thing in itself--not to
+be sneezed at, either, in the Empire City, let me tell you; for, there,
+you can have as neat a repast served, whether in private houses or at
+the Great Delmonico's of "Fourteenth Street," as you would meet with at
+one or _two_ haunts I wot of in the Palais Royale.  Still, I leave it to
+yourself, a dinner is but a poor "quid" to him lacking the "quo" of an
+immediate fortune--is it not?
+
+Matters began to grow serious with me; for, my income having amounted to
+_nil_ since my landing in the new world, my assets were gradually
+diminishing.  I had only a few pounds left; as my expenditure for
+lodging alone was at the rate of over two guineas a week; and Monsieur
+Parole d'Honneur's loan, which I looked upon only in the light of
+trading capital, I had determined not to touch on for personal need.
+
+What should I do?
+
+I went to one of the American gentlemen to whom I had been introduced,
+and laid my position before him.  He advised me, as he had previously
+advised me, to "look about" me.
+
+I had "looked about me" already for some three months--without anything
+coming of it; however, I looked about me now again, and?--met Brown of
+Philadelphia!
+
+"Brown of Philadelphia" was one who is known among our "cousins" as a
+"live" man.  Brown of Philadelphia was an enterprising man; he was more:
+he was a benevolent man.  He had a splendid scheme, he told me, for
+turning over thousands of dollars at once.  He had no wish to merely
+better himself, however.  He was a man with a large heart, and would
+make my fortune too.  It seemed as if Providence had specially
+interfered to prevent his meeting with a partner until I had answered
+his advertisement!  _I_ should be his partner.  I need not know anything
+of the business--_he_ would manage all that.  What I should have to do,
+would be, to take care of all the money that came in--a post for which
+both he and I thought I was peculiarly fitted.  And the scheme?--
+
+Perhaps you will laugh when I tell you.  It was selling blacking!
+
+There is nothing to be ashamed of in it, though.  Have not Day and
+Martin made a fortune by it, and a name in all the world?  Has not many
+a proud merchant prince risen to eminence on a more ignoble commodity?
+
+Blacking!  There is something noble in causing the feet of posterity to
+shine; and to be the means of testing the standing of a would-be
+gentleman!  Clean boots are an essentiality of society; why should I
+shrink from the responsibility of helping to produce them?
+
+Well, whether you consider it a lowering trade or not, Brown of
+Philadelphia suggested our "going into" blacking together.  He knew of a
+place, he said, where he could get it for "next to nothing;" and, as he
+then pertinently observed, I must be aware that it might be disposed of
+in New York at more than cent, per cent, profit.  So, why should we not
+embark in it?  If we did, Brown of Philadelphia--only he was opposed to
+betting, on moral principle--was prepared to wager a trifle that we
+would soon have more "greenbacks" than we should know what to do with!
+
+He had an office already, had my benevolent friend,--"located" in a
+first-rate part of Broadway.  All I should have to do, he explained,
+would be to put a small sum into the concern--so as to be independent,
+as it were, and not merely accepting "a big thing" at his hands--and, my
+fortune was made.  If I would contribute, say, five hundred dollars--"a
+mere song"--we might go joint shares in what would turn out to be a most
+remarkably go-a-head enterprise; yes, sir!
+
+Strange!  But, the amount he mentioned was the exact sum, in American
+exchange, of my capital--about which, you know, I had previously spoken
+to him in a friendly and communicative way.  It _was_ odd, my just
+having sufficient, wasn't it?--Yet, how lucky, to be sure!  And then,
+there was no necessity for my being acquainted with the business:--he
+would manage that.  My duty would be to take in money--exactly what I
+liked!  That's what took my fancy so amazingly--"tickled" me, as Artemus
+Ward would have expressed it--so I repeat it!
+
+Brown of Philadelphia was the soul of honour, as well as distinguished
+for his smartness and benevolence.  He did not want to impose on _me_,
+bless you!
+
+No; on the contrary, he gave me a reference to a large bank "down town,"
+and also to a notorious shoddy celebrity who lived "up" town,--to the
+former of which I went, making inquiries as to his stability.
+Certainly, they knew Mr Brown of Philadelphia.  Had a large balance at
+present in their hands.  As far as they were aware--must be reticent in
+commercial matters, you know--perfectly responsible party.  Could I have
+taken any further precaution?  I think not, after this statement.
+
+Quite satisfactory, wasn't it?
+
+I did not go to shoddy character in Fifth Avenue, because it was a
+horribly long pull there in the street "cars:"--thought bank reference
+sufficient, wouldn't you?
+
+Perfectly satisfactory, I thought; and told Brown of Philadelphia so at
+our next meeting, when I lunched with him by appointment.
+
+We next went to see the office--our office--in Broadway, afterwards.
+Just the thing--possibly a trifle small; but then we could enlarge in
+time, eh?  Not the slightest doubt.  Brown of Philadelphia and I
+excellent friends.  He dined with me at an hotel that day--at my expense
+on this occasion.
+
+After dinner, arranged business matters as partners should do, drawing
+up a deed of associationship, and so on.  Brown of Philadelphia produced
+roll of dollars in "greenbacks"--his share of the capital of our embryo
+firm.  I produced roll of "greenbacks"--my share of capital of embryo
+firm.  Both parcels sealed up; and given into Brown of Philadelphia's
+custody, as senior partner, to deposit same in our joint names at a bank
+on the morrow.
+
+Brown of Philadelphia and I then parted with words and signs of mutual
+respect and admiration; and I hied me to my Brooklyn lodgings in high
+delight at the fortunate turn in my affairs.
+
+Why, I would be rich in a few months; and then:--
+
+What delightful dreams I had that night!
+
+We were to meet again the next morning punctually at "ten sharp" at "the
+office."
+
+_I_ was there to the minute, but Brown of Philadelphia wasn't; and,
+although I waited for him many subsequent minutes after the appointed
+time, he never came--nor have I clapped eyes on him from that day to
+this.
+
+Faithless Brown!  He robbed me of my belief in human nature, in addition
+to my hoarded "greenbacks."
+
+The office, I found, had been taken by the keen philanthropist for a
+week, a few dollars of the rent being advanced by him as security on
+account.  On asking at the bank, which had in the first instance
+satisfied me of his integrity, the cashier told me that Brown of
+Philadelphia had drawn out all of his available balance the very
+afternoon on which I had made my inquiries respecting him; and where he
+was gone, no one knew!
+
+"Skedaddled," evidently.  As for shoddy celebrity, "up town," to whom
+Brown of Philadelphia had also referred me, said that my friend had
+swindled _him_ a short period before.  Good joke, his being given as a
+reference!
+
+I put the affair in the hands of the police; but they gave me about as
+much comfort as our guardians in blue would have done.
+
+They said he had gone south.  I went to Baltimore after him; but I could
+not meet him, although I was full of determination and had taken a
+revolver with me in case Brown might have his "shooting irons" handy!--
+The blunderbuss that had belonged to the deceased Earl Planetree, and
+which Lady Dasher had given me as a useful parting present, I had left
+behind in England, thinking that such a valuable object of antiquity
+should not be recklessly risked.
+
+The police then telegraphed for me to come north--while I was enjoying
+the canvas-backed ducks of "Maryland, my Maryland," and nursing my
+vengeance.  I came "up north;" but it was of no use.  I never saw Brown
+of Philadelphia again, or recovered my lost capital.
+
+It had gone where the good, or bad, niggers go; and I only hope "Brown"
+has gone there too!
+
+This misfortune filled up the measure of my troubles, though they were
+numerous enough already.
+
+To get employment of a regular character, which became more necessary to
+me now than ever--was as impossible as it had been all along!
+
+Nobody seemed to want anybody like me, in spite of my being not
+unskilled in foreign languages, and up to clerk's work--having not yet
+forgotten the book-keeping which my crammer had crammed into me for the
+benefit of the "Polite Letter Writer Commissioners."
+
+I was not actually in necessity, as I had still sufficient funds left to
+defray my bare living expenses for some months, with strict economy; but
+I had not come to America merely to exist!  I had left home to make my
+fortune, I tell you; and, how could I be satisfied at this state of
+things?  I was losing time, day by day; and not approaching one whit
+nearer to the object of my life!
+
+In addition to these reflections, I had found out the truth of the time-
+honoured maxim, "coelum non animam mutant qui trans mare currunt."--I
+might go from the old world to the new; but I could not leave my old
+memories, my old thoughts behind me!
+
+At first, the novelty of things about me distracted my attention.
+
+I was in a strange country amongst fresh faces, all connected only with
+the present, so that, I had little time to look back on the past.
+
+Besides, I was hopeful of carving out a new career for myself; and hope
+is a sworn antagonist to retrospection.
+
+But, as I began to get used to the place and people, never-forgotten
+scenes and associations came back to mind, which I felt were more
+difficult to banish now, three thousand miles away, than when I was on
+the spot with which they had been connected.
+
+Oh! how, bustled about amidst a crowd of unsympathising strangers, to
+whom our domestic life is only an ideality, I longed for the quiet and
+charm and love of an English home!
+
+I think that your wanderers and prodigals and black sheep, little though
+you may believe it, appreciate family union and social ties much more
+than your steady-going respectables who never stray without the routine
+circle of upright existence; never err; are never banned as outcasts!
+
+The former look upon "home"--what a world does the very name convey to
+one who has never known what it is!--much as Moore's "Peri" regarded
+Paradise, and as the lost angels may wistfully think of the heaven from
+which they were expelled.  Perhaps they overrate its attributes,
+imagining, as they do, that it is a blissful state of being, for ever
+debarred to them; but they _do_ have such feelings--the dregs, probably,
+of their bitter nature!
+
+I can speak to the point, for, I was one of this class.
+
+_I_ was a prodigal, a black sheep, a wanderer.  One on whom Fate had
+written on his forehead at his birth, "unstable as water, thou shalt not
+excel," and yet, I had the madness, (you may call it so,) to dream of
+regeneration and happiness!
+
+How many a time had I not pictured to myself the home of my longing.
+Nothing grand or great occurred to me--my old ambitions were dead.
+
+I only wished for a little domain of my own, where some _one_ would look
+up to me, at all events, watching for my coming, and receiving me with
+gladness "in sorrow or in rest."  A kingdom of affection, where no angry
+word should be ever spoken or heard; where peace and love would reign,
+no matter what befell!
+
+It was a dream:--you are right.  I thought so, now, often enough, far
+away from England and all that I held dear; and, unsuccessful as I
+always had been, as I always seemed doomed to be!
+
+Happiness for me?  What a very ridiculous idea!  I was a lunatic.  I
+should "laugh with myself," as poor Parole d'Honneur used to say!
+
+I knew what sundry kindly-natured persons would say, in the event of my
+returning to England empty-handed, were I to lead the steadiest life
+possible.--"Here is Frank Lorton back again like a bad penny!"--they
+would sneer.--"Reformed from all his wild ways, eh?  Really, Mrs
+Grundy, you must not expect us to believe _that_!  Can the leopard
+change his spots?"--and so on; or else, kindly hint, that,--"when the
+devil was sick, the devil a monk would be: when the devil got well, the
+devil a monk was he."--Oh yes, I had little doubt what _their_
+charitable judgment would be!
+
+Still, the thought of these people's opinions did not oppress me much;
+for I knew equally well that, should some freak of Fate endow me with
+fame and fortune, they would be the first to receive me with open arms--
+ignoring all my former social enormities.--Their tune would be slightly
+different then!
+
+It would be--"Dear me! how glad we are to see him back!  You know, Mrs
+Grundy, that you always said he would turn out well.--His little
+fastnesses and Bohemian ways?--Pooh! we won't speak of those now:--only
+the hot blood of youth, you know--signs of an ardent disposition--we all
+have our faults;"--and so on.
+
+No, I was not thinking much of "society's" opinion; but, of that of
+others, whose good esteem I really valued.  _They_ believed in me
+still:--was I worthy of it?
+
+I thought not.
+
+I doubted myself.  Understand, I had no fear of making any new false
+step in the eyes of the world; or of plunging anew into the dissipations
+and riotous living of so-called "life," in return for which I was now
+eating the husks of voluntary exile: young as I was, I had already
+learnt a bitter lesson of the hollowness and deception of all this!
+
+It was another dread which haunted me.
+
+The vicar had, without in any way making light of them, condoned my
+misdeeds, telling me that there was more joy in heaven over one
+repentant sinner, than for ninety-and-nine just persons that had never
+offended: while, my darling--she who had the most cause to turn from me,
+the greatest right to condemn--had forgiven me; and bidden me to look
+forward to the future, with the hopeful assurance that she was certain
+that I would never give her reason again to doubt her faith in me.
+
+But, the fatherly affection of the one, the devoted confidence of the
+other, merited some greater return on my part than mere "uprightness of
+life,"--in the worldly sense of the expression!  Surely, they did?
+
+A man's words and actions may be above reproach, as far as society is
+concerned; and yet, he may not have a particle of true religion about
+him.  Both the vicar and Min, however, were earnest Christians.  They
+were deeply religious, without a suspicion of cant or affectation; and
+they wished me to be so, too.  I had promised to pray to please them;
+but, had I kept my promise?  No, I had failed:--my conscience told me
+so!
+
+As long as things had gone smoothly with me, I believe I _did_ pray--
+with the faith that my petitions were heard above; but, when dark days
+came, God seemed to forsake me, and my prayers were cast back into my
+own bosom.  I might repeat a form of words a thousand times over; still,
+how could I be said to pray when the spirit was wanting?--It was only a
+jugglery, like the repeating machine in which the Burmese believe, or
+the beads of irreligious Catholics.
+
+Min had specially pointed out a text of promise to me in the _Psalms_,
+where it is said, "No good thing shall He withhold from them who lead a
+godly life;" and, I had hoped in it; yet now, when I saw all my plans
+fail, this text took away my faith.  Everything was withheld from me, I
+thought; therefore I could not lead a godly life, no matter how
+strenuously I strove to do so.  I was outcast and forgotten!  I had gone
+through the "vale of misery;" but I could not "use it as a well;" for my
+pools were empty!  Instead of my Creator directing my "going in the
+way," He had left me to stumble forward blindly, until I had fallen into
+the Slough of Despond,--the sink of unbelief!
+
+How hard it is to find that faith which enables us to pray in the
+confident belief of our supplications being attended to!  I remember
+once reading a passage in a sermon preached by the Archdeacon of Saint
+Albans in Westminster Abbey some thirteen years ago, which was now
+brought to my mind.  It was one of a series specially designed "for the
+working classes," and entitled _The Prayer of Human Kind_.  The passage
+ran as follows:--
+
+  "Why do some penitents--penitents really at heart--still groan, and
+  try, by self-infliction and by keeping open their wounds, to appease
+  God, and find no comfort to their souls?  Is it not that they have not
+  really taken to their hearts that God _is_ their Father in Christ; and
+  that, `even as a father pitieth his own children, so is the Lord
+  merciful to them that fear him?'  Had they, by faith, taken this
+  blessed truth to their souls, they might and would, not in
+  hopelessness and dread, but in trust and penitential love, make their
+  wants known as a child to its parent; they would arise, and in humble
+  compunctions, and not desponding trust, say, `Father, I have sinned.'
+  They would carry each trouble to him, and say, `Lord, thou knowest me
+  to be set in this strait, or under that temptation; Lord, deliver me.'
+  `Thou seest the longing desire of my heart; Lord, grant it.'  `Thou
+  knowest my weakness; Lord, strengthen me.'  They would carry and lay
+  their separate cares before Him, and cast them on Him, knowing that He
+  careth for them.  They would ask, knowing that they will receive;
+  knowing that an answer that withholds what is asked for is as real,
+  and frequently a more merciful answer, than one that grants it."
+
+Ah!  That was the faith I could not fathom:--that was why my prayers
+gave me no comfort, I suppose.  And yet, it is said that God, whom rich
+men find so difficult of approach, manifests Himself to us more in
+adversity than in prosperity.  I could not believe in this myself; for,
+when I was successful, I really seemed to have faith, and could pray
+from my heart; while, now, despondent, it appeared hypocrisy on my part
+to pretend to bend my knees to the Almighty; I felt so despairingly
+faithless!
+
+La Mennais says, in his _Paroles d'un Croyant_, that--
+
+  "Il y a toujours des vents brulants, qui passent sur l'ame de l'homme,
+  et la dessechant.  La priere est la rosee qui la rafraichit."
+
+And, again,--
+
+  "Dieu sait mieux que vous ce dont vous avez besoin, et c'est pour cela
+  qu'il veut que vous le lui demandiez; car Dieu est lui-meme votre
+  premier besoin, et prier Dieu, c'est commencer a posseder Dieu."
+
+The sirocco of sorrow had fanned its hot breath over my soul; but, no
+grateful spring shower had cooled it through prayer.  God, certainly,
+knows better than we what we should desire; but why does He not instruct
+us in His wishes?
+
+Perhaps you think this all milk-and-watery talk, and that I do not mean
+what I say?
+
+But I do.  Even those people whom you might think the most unlikely
+persons to have such thoughts, will have these reflections, so why not
+speak of them?
+
+Some, I know, believe that all religious conversation should be strictly
+tabooed in any reference to secular matters.  But it seems to me a very
+delicate faith that will only stand an airing once a week, like your
+church services on Sundays!  _I_ have thought of such things, and I'm
+not ashamed to mention them.
+
+Acting on my mind at the same time--in concert with these religious
+doubts, and the consciousness of my unlucky fortunes--was a strong
+feeling of home-sickness, which grew and grew with greater intensity as
+the months rolled by.
+
+  I got so miserable, that, I felt with Shelley--
+
+  "I could lie down, like a tired child,
+  And weep away the life of care
+  Which I have borne and yet must bear!"
+
+For what profit did this warring against destiny bring me?  Nothing--
+nothing, but the "vanity and vexation of spirit," which a more believing
+soul than mine had apostrophised in agony, ages before I was born.
+
+You may not credit the fact of the Swiss mountaineers pining of what is
+called "Home-woe," when banished from their beloved glaciers, the same
+as Cyrus's legions suffered from _nostalgia_; and, may put down the
+Frenchman's _maladie du pays_, which some expatriated communists are
+probably experiencing now in New Caledonia, to blatant sentimentality;
+but they are each and all true expositions of feeling.
+
+We Englishmen are generally prosaic; but some of us have known the
+terrible yearning which this home-sickness produces in us in foreign
+lands.  The Devonshire shepherd will weep over the recollections which a
+little daisy will bring back to him of the old country of his childhood,
+when standing beneath an Australian gum tree.  I have seen a Scotchman
+in America cherish a thistle, as if it were the rarest of plants, from
+its native associations; and I know of a potted shamrock which was
+brought all the way across the ocean in an emigrant ship, by an Irish
+miner, and which now adorns the window of a veranda-fronted cottage at
+the Pittsburgh mines in Pennsylvania!
+
+Some of us _are_ "sentimental," you see.  I can answer for myself, at
+least; and I know that the air of "Home, sweet Home," has affected me
+quite as much as the "Ranz des Vaches" would appeal to the sensibilities
+of an Alpine Jodeller!
+
+I got home-sick now.  The passion took complete possession of me.
+
+The burning, suffocating heat of the summer "in the States," caused me
+to pant after the cool shade of the old Prebend's walk at Saint Canon's;
+and call to mind those inviting lawns and osiered eyots along the
+Thames, where I used to spend the warm evenings at home.  I thought as
+Izaak Walton, the vicar's favourite, had thought before me--that I would
+cheerfully sacrifice all hopes of worldly advancement, all dreams of
+fortune, all future success, problematical though each and all
+appeared--
+
+  So, I the fields and meadows green may view;
+  And daily by fresh rivers walk at will,
+  Among the daisies and violets blue,
+  Red hyacinth and yellow daffodil;
+  Purple narcissus, like the morning's rays,
+  Pale gander grass and azure culver keys.
+
+In the gorgeous Indian summer, when the nature of the New World seems to
+awake, dressing all the trees in fantastic foliage of varied hue, my
+fancies were recalled to a well-remembered Virginian creeper that
+ornamented the houses of the Terrace, where my darling lived; for its
+leafy colouring in the autumn was similar to that I now beheld--in the
+chrome-tinted maples, the silvery-toned beeches and scarlet "sumachs" of
+the western forests.
+
+And in the frozen winter, of almost Arctic severity and continuance,
+home was brought even nearer to me--in connection with all the cherished
+memories of that kindly-tempered season.  I thought of the old firesides
+where I had been a welcome guest in times past; the old Christmas
+festivities, the old Christmas cheer, the--bah!  What good will it do to
+you and I thus to trace over the aching foot-prints of recollection?
+
+I used to go down to the mouth of the Hudson river, that I might watch
+the red-funnelled Cunard steamers start on their passage to England--
+sending my heart after them in impotent cravings: I used, I remember, to
+mark off the days as they passed, in the little almanack of my pocket-
+book--scoring them out, just as Robinson Crusoe was in the habit of
+notching his post for the same purpose:--I used to fret and fret, in
+fact, eating my soul away in vain repinings and foolish longings!
+
+And, still, my fortunes did not brighten--notwithstanding that I hunted
+in every direction for work, and tried to wean my mind from painful
+associations by hopeful anticipations of "something turning up" on the
+morrow.  The morrow came, sure enough; but no good luck:--my fortunes
+got darker and darker, as time went on; while my home yearnings grew
+stronger.
+
+I would have borne my troubles much better, I'm certain, if I could only
+have heard from my darling.
+
+There was no hope of that, however, as you know.  Even if Min would have
+consented to such a thing, which I knew she would not have done, I
+should never have dreamt of asking her to write to me in opposition to
+her mother's wishes.  It is true that I had dear little Miss
+Pimpernell's letters; but what could _they_ be in comparison with
+letters from Min?--although, of course, the kind old lady would tell me
+all about her, and how she looked, and what she said, in order to
+encourage me?
+
+It was a hard fight, a bitter struggle--that first year I passed in
+America; and, my memory will bear the scars of the combat, I believe,
+until my dying day.
+
+Still, time brought relief; and, opportunity, success--so the world
+wags.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER ELEVEN.
+
+"LIFE!"
+
+  I hold it truth with him who sings,
+  On one clear harp, in divers tones,
+  That men may rise, on stepping stones
+  Of their dead lives, to higher things!
+
+However grievous and crushing we may consider the trials and troubles of
+life to be, while they last, they are never altogether unbearable.
+
+The load laid upon us is seldom weighted beyond the capacity of our
+endurance; and then, when in course of time our ills become alleviated,
+and the burden we have so long borne slides off our backs, the relief we
+feel is proportionately all the greater, our sense of light-heartedness
+and mental freedom, the more intense and complete.
+
+Existence, to follow out the argument, is not always painted in shadow,
+its horizon obscured by dark-tinted nebulosities!  On the contrary,
+there is ever some light infused into it, to bring out the deeper
+tones--"a silver lining" generally "to every cloud," as the proverb has
+it.  So, I now experienced, as I am going to tell you.
+
+The second year of my residence in America opened much more brightly
+than the miserable twelvemonth I had just passed through might have led
+me to hope--if I could have hoped on any longer, that is!
+
+Early in the spring, when the warming breath of the power-increasing sun
+was slowly unloosing the chains of winter--when the rapid-running Hudson
+was sweeping down huge blocks and fields of ice from Albany, flooding
+New York Bay with a collection of little bergs, so that it looked
+somewhat like the Arctic effect I had seen on the Thames on that happy
+Christmas of the past, only on ever so much larger a scale--I received
+letters from England that cheered me up wonderfully, changing the whole
+aspect of my life.
+
+"Good news from home, good news for me, had come across the deep blue
+sea"--in the words of Gilmore's touching ballad; and "though I wandered
+far away, my heart was full of joy to-day; for, friends across the
+ocean's foam had sent to me good news from home"--to further paraphrase
+it.
+
+_Good_ news?--"glorious news," rather, I should say!
+
+Yes, I had not only a glad, welcome letter from Miss Pimpernell, in
+which the dear little old lady made me laugh and cry again; but, I also
+heard from the good vicar, who was one of the worst correspondents in
+the world, never putting pen to paper, save in the compilation of his
+weekly sermons, except under the most dire necessity, or kindly
+compulsion.
+
+To receive an epistle from him was an event!
+
+And, what do you think he wrote to me about?  What, can you imagine,
+made dear little Miss Pimpernell's lengthy missive--scribed as it was in
+the most puzzling of calligraphies--of so engrossing an interest, that I
+read it again and again; valuing it more than all her previous budgets
+of parish gossip put together, entertaining as I thought them before?
+
+Once, twice, three times?
+
+No, I do not believe you can guess what it was that gave me such delight
+in the "good news from home," sharp and shrewd though you may think
+yourself.
+
+If you will take my advice, you had better treat it as a conundrum and
+"give it up."
+
+Don't keep you in suspense, eh?
+
+Well then, I will tell you--here goes.
+
+It is a long story--too long to describe in detail; but the upshot of it
+was that my kind friend the vicar, cognisant of the sincere affection
+that existed between my darling and myself, and knowing the suffering
+that had been caused to us both by the enforced silence which we had to
+maintain towards each other, had interceded with Mrs Clyde on our
+behalf; and, what is more, had done so successfully!
+
+There, fancy that!  Don't you think I had sufficient reason to be
+rejoiced?
+
+Min and I were to be allowed to write to each other for a year--as
+"friends," a condition of intimacy to which her mother seemed to attach
+a good deal of point, as she had made it an obligatory proviso to our
+correspondence.  Mrs Clyde had, in addition to this, tacked on a
+sweeping clause to the agreement, to the effect that, in case my
+prospects at the end of the year should not warrant my returning to
+England and claiming Min as my promised wife--prospects of a short
+engagement and an easy settlement being also satisfactory--the whole
+negotiation should fall to the ground and be considered null and void;
+we, reverting to our original and hopeless position of soi-disant
+strangers or "friends" at a distance, and looking upon the interlude of
+our letter-writing as if it had never occurred.
+
+I did not give much thought, however, to this ultimatum.
+
+I was too full of happiness at the idea of being allowed to correspond
+at once with my darling, and hear from her own dear self after the weary
+months that had passed since our separation.  Why, I would be able to
+tell her all my plans and hopes and fears, conscious that her sympathy
+would never fail to congratulate me in success; condole with me, cheer
+me, encourage me, in failure!
+
+And then, her letters!  What a feast they would be, coming like grateful
+dew on the thirsty soil of my heart--sunshine succeeding to the April
+shower of disappointment that lay on my memory.  Her letters!  They
+would be so many little Mins, visiting me to soothe my exile, and
+bringing me, face to face and soul to soul, in the spirit, with their
+loving autotype at home!
+
+I was nerved to action at once.
+
+Before the day on which I received the welcome intelligence was one hour
+older, I had sat me down and penned a hurried sheet of ecstatic rapture
+to my darling--the first number of our delightful little serial which
+was going to be regularly issued every fortnight until further notice in
+time for posting on mail days!  I only just managed to catch the
+European packet, so I could not write a very long letter on this
+occasion--as I had also to answer the vicar's and Miss Pimpernell's
+communications; but I said quite enough, I think, to let my darling
+know, that, although she had not been able to hear from me directly
+before, she had never been out of my thoughts.
+
+You may be sure, too, that I did not forget to send a short note to Mrs
+Clyde, thanking her for her kindness to us both.  Indeed, I _was_
+grateful to her; for serious consideration of my past conduct had led me
+to think that she might have only judged wisely in her opinion as to
+what was the best course to adopt for her daughter's future happiness.
+Now, she had amply atoned for her former harshness, as I esteemed it, by
+her permission for our correspondence; and, notwithstanding that she
+never responded to my note, I regarded her thenceforth in the light of a
+friend.
+
+On reading over the vicar's letter after getting this happy business
+concluded, I saw--what had escaped my notice at first--that he had not
+been content with merely exerting his influence with Mrs Clyde for my
+benefit.  His good offices had gone much further.  He had again spoken
+for me to his patron, the bishop--who, you may recollect, was the means
+of my getting that appointment to the Obstructor General's department;
+and my old friend wrote that they had great hopes of being able to
+procure me a nice little secretaryship under Government, which would
+probably bring me in enough income to marry upon.--Only think!
+
+What do you say to that, eh?
+
+It was true, though; or the vicar would never have expressed himself so
+confidently.
+
+He added, that it was best for me to remain where I was in the
+meanwhile, persevering in my resolution of living a steady life, and
+that all might turn out well for me.  He said, that my interests should
+not be neglected in my absence; and, that there would be no use of my
+returning until I got something certain.
+
+His words, and this amicable settlement of matters between my darling
+and myself, awoke a new life in me.  I did not despair any longer.  I
+felt that God had at last heard not only my prayers, but also those of
+her, who, I knew, was praying for me at home; and that, if He had not
+appeared to grant my former petitions, the answer to them had been
+withheld for the all-wise purpose of making me look to Him more
+earnestly than I might have done, if prosperity had rewarded my first
+effort!  Before, I had trusted entirely to myself, never thinking of
+appealing to His aid.
+
+Now, I assure you, I could have struggled on to the death--even had
+Fortune still gone against me even in America; but, the fickle goddess
+alike altered her expression _there_, as circumstances improved for me
+_here_, so that, I was not called upon to exercise any further endurance
+in adversity.
+
+My temporal troubles ended as my more serious difficulties disappeared--
+all being in due accordance with the old adage which tells us that "it
+never rains but it pours."
+
+One morning, soon after hearing from England, as I was conning over the
+advertisement columns of the _New York Herald_, I chanced on a notice
+which immediately caught my eye.  An "editor" was wanted, without delay,
+at the office of one of the other leading-journals of the city, where
+applications were requested from all desirous of taking the "situation
+vacant."  Who could this have reference to, but me?
+
+I thought so, at all events, and "exploited" the supposition.
+
+I did not allow the grass to grow under my feet, I can assure you.
+
+I hurried off instanter to the address mentioned; and, although
+newspaper men of the New World, unlike ours, are uncommonly early birds,
+getting up matutinally betimes so as to catch the typical worm--in which
+respect they resemble the entire business population of Transatlantica--
+I found, on my arrival, that I was the first candidate who had appeared
+on the scene.
+
+It was a good omen, for your "live Yankee" likes "smartness;"
+consequently, I was sanguine of success.
+
+You may, peradventure, be "surprised to hear" of my thinking myself fit
+for such a post, having had such a slight acquaintance with literature
+at home?
+
+That did not dissuade me, however, in the least.
+
+I have so great a confidence in myself, that I would really take the
+command of the Channel fleet to-morrow if it were offered to me--as Earl
+Russell proposed to do, when he was simple "Lord John;" and, as a
+civilian First Lord of the Admirality has since done, although he
+possessed so little nautical knowledge that he might not have been able
+to tell you the difference between a cathead and a capstan bar, or, how
+to distinguish a "dinghy" from the "second cutter."  I suppose he
+thought, like Mr Toots, that, "it didn't matter!"
+
+Conceit, you say?
+
+Not at all.--Only self-reliance, one of the most available qualities for
+getting on in the world; for, if a man does not believe in himself, how
+on earth can he expect other people to believe in him?
+
+"Guess" I posed you there!--to use one of my patent Americanisms.
+
+Besides, an American "editor," if you please, is of a very different
+stamp to an English one.  The "learned lexicographer"--and pedantic old
+bore, by the way--Doctor Johnson, defined the individual in question to
+be "one who prepares or revises any literary work for publication;" and,
+we generally associate the name with the supreme head of a journalistic
+staff--he who is addressed indignantly as "sir" by those weak-minded
+persons who write letters to newspapers, and who signs himself
+familiarly "Ed."  But, at the other side of the Atlantic, the term bears
+a much wider application, extending to all "connected with the press"--
+from the "head cook and bottle-washer," down, nearly, to that bottle
+imp, the printer's "devil."
+
+Political writers; correspondents, "special" and "local;" reviewers;
+reporters; stenographers, or "gallery" men; dramatic and musical
+critics; "paragraphists"--the new name for fire and murder manifolders,
+and other "flimsy" compilers; and, penny-a-liners:--each and all, are,
+severally and collectively, "editors," beneath the star-spangled banner
+of equality and freedom.
+
+Hence, there was not so much effrontery after all in my applying for the
+position, eh?
+
+The proprietor of the paper whom I now canvassed did not think so, at
+least; and _he_ was the party chiefly concerned in the affair besides
+myself; so, I should like to know what _you've_ got to do with it?
+
+He was a "Down-easter," a class of American I had already learnt
+specially to dislike--the ideal and real, "Yankee" of the States; but,
+he spoke to the point, as most of them do, without any waste of words or
+travelling round the subject--more than can be said for some
+"Britishers" I know!
+
+He was leaning over the counter of the advertisement office as I
+entered, settling some calculation of greenbacks with the cashier, and
+"guessed," ere I had opened my mouth to explain my presence, that I had
+come about that "vacancy up-stairs."
+
+"Been in the newspapering line before?" was his next interrogatory--a
+very pertinent one; for, Transatlantic journalists, as a rule, manage to
+try every trade and calling previously to sinking down to "literature"--
+similarly to some of those bookseller's "hacks" over here who mortgage
+themselves to flash publishers when all other means of livelihood have
+failed them.
+
+When I answered "Yes" to this question, he did not wait to hear anything
+further.
+
+"Go up-stairs and try your hand," said he--"we'll soon see what you'll
+amount to, I reckon.  We don't want any references here.  We take a man
+as we find him.  Guess I'll give you twenty-five dollars a week, anyhow,
+for one week sartain; and then, if we suit each other, we can raise the
+pile bimeby.  Say, are you on?"
+
+I "guessed" I _was_ "on;" and, went up-stairs to the paste-and-scissors
+purlieus with much gusto.
+
+It was a very good commencement for me--I who had nothing to bless
+myself with before, for, the salary would pay my board and lodging twice
+over.  It was a beginning, at any rate; and, as we subsequently did
+"suit each other," my down-east friend behaved very fairly, keeping to
+his promise of "raising my pile"--a synonym for increasing the weekly
+sum of "greenbacks" he allowed me for my labours.  I had never any
+reason to repent the bargain--nor did I.
+
+The work I had to do was by no means arduous, although, in many
+respects, of a novel character.  From the fact that my residence in
+America had not been yet sufficiently extended to enable me to master
+the ins and outs of Transatlantic politics, the leading articles--or
+"editorials" as they are there styled--which I had to write were but few
+in number, and entirely referring to social subjects of local interest;
+notwithstanding that I was occasionally allowed to enlighten the
+Manhattan mind in the matter of European affairs.  If my special
+"editor's" duties were thus light, I made up, however, for their
+deficiency, by enlarging upon the skeleton telegrams that came every
+night across the ocean--"expanding news," so to speak--and by also
+writing, on the arrival of every steamer, while seated in the back
+parlour of the journal's office in New York, the most graphic special
+correspondent's letters from Paris and London!
+
+With regard to the telegrams.  Half a dozen words only might come over
+the cable, to say, for instance, that the late Emperor Napoleon, who was
+the then supposed arbiter of the Old World, had nominated Count somebody
+or General that to a fresh portfolio; or that, the "scion of the house
+of Hapsburgh" was suffering from tooth-ache; or that, John Bright was
+going to Dublin to lecture "on Irish affairs."
+
+My duties were such, that, when these telegrams appeared, in all the
+glories of print, the next morning, they had grown in such a miraculous
+way, that they took up half a yard of room, instead of but a few lines
+of type.  Had you read them, you would have found their contents
+thoroughly explanatory, entering into the most minute details--as to how
+Napoleon's change of ministers would affect "the situation;" how poor
+Francis Joseph's attack of caries might, could and would raise again the
+ghost of "the Eastern question;" how the advent of the great Radical
+leader in Ireland would be the signal for a general Fenian uprising--
+and, so on.
+
+I _only_ mention these cases in point, to describe the way in which I
+clothed my skeletons with solid substrata of flesh and blood.  The
+public, you see, had only so much the more information for their money--
+which was, probably, just as reliable as if it had been really "wired"
+under the Atlantic!  Nobody was the wiser; nobody, the sufferer by the
+deception; so, what was "the odds" so long as they were correspondingly
+"happy"--in their ignorance?
+
+My correspondent's letters were much more mendacious compositions.
+
+I am quite ashamed to tell you what long columns of flagrant description
+I was in the habit of reeling off--touching certain races in the Bois de
+Boulogne, soirees at the Tuileries, and working-men's "demonstrations"
+in Hyde Park--of which I was only an imaginative spectator!
+
+I used to rake up all my old reminiscences of the boulevards and cafes
+and prados, giving details concerning the "petit-creves" and "cocottes,"
+the "flaneurs" and "grandes dames" of the once "gay" capital--gay no
+longer; and, interspersing them with veracious reports respecting the
+latest hidden thoughts of "Badinguet," and vivid descriptions of the
+respective toilets of the Empress Eugenie, Baroness de B---, Madame la
+Comtesse C---, la belle Marquise d'E---, and all the other fashionable
+letters of the alphabet--chronicling the very latest achievements in
+"Robes en train" and "Costumes a ravir" of the great artist Worth.  Even
+the men folk of America--"shoddy" of course--dote on those accounts of
+European toilets, which we never see given in any of our papers,
+excepting where the appearance of the Queen's Drawing-Room may be
+passingly noted; or, when the _Morning Post_ exhausts itself over a
+"marriage in high life."
+
+When my spurious intelligence was dated from London, I had to draw on a
+fertile memory for popular rumours concerning revolutionary doctrine,
+and express a conviction that things were not going very well with John
+Bull, politically or socially, hinting, also, at the prospect of an
+early Irish rebellion--and, generally, manufacture similar "news" of a
+kind that is peculiarly grateful to the jaundiced palates of our
+English-hating, jealousy-mad cousins over the way.
+
+When Min came to know of this practice of mine, she did not like it.
+She wrote to me to say that it was acting untruthfully to pretend to
+correspond from a place when I was not actually there.
+
+The habit was certainly reprehensible, I admit, as I admitted to her;
+but, then, what can a writer do if blessed with a vivid imagination?
+
+Besides, I had a precedent in Goldsmith's _Citizen of the World_, you
+know; and, as Byron says--
+
+  "--After all, what is a lie?  'Tis but
+  The truth in masquerade; and I defy
+  Historians, heroes, lawyers, priests, to put
+  A fact without some leaven of a lie.
+  The very shadow of true truth would shut
+  Up annals, revelations, poesy,
+  And prophecy--except it should be dated
+  Some years before the incidents related."
+
+Even on this side of the water, too, authors have frequently to use
+their pens as if they did not chance to possess a conscience--one of the
+worst possessions for any aspirant in the journalistic profession to be
+encumbered with, I may remark by the way!
+
+You seem to be astonished at my observation?  I will explain what I mean
+more lucidly.
+
+Supposing a journalist belongs to a Conservative organ, he must back up
+the party, don't you see, at all hazards; and, although in his inmost
+heart he may have a faint suspicion that Mr Disraeli's popularity is on
+the wane, it will not do for him to write his leading articles to that
+effect exactly, eh?  Oh, dear no!  He has to assert, on the contrary,
+that "the masses" are loudly calling on _Punch's_ friend "Dizzy" to save
+England from the utter extinguishment predicted by our dear Bismarck the
+other day at Versailles!  While, should your potent pressman, on the
+other hand, wield the goose-quill of any ponderous or lively daily paper
+that may advocate "Liberalism," and support the elect of Greenwich
+through thick and thin, do you think he gives you his candid opinion
+anent "the people's William" then in power, or respecting that
+bamboozling Alabama business?
+
+Not he!
+
+Why, he knows, as well as you do, of the tergiversation that has
+distinguished the entire political career of the Risque-tout Prime
+Minister; and yet, he has to speak of him as if he were the greatest
+statesman England has ever seen--hanging on his words as silver, when
+knowing them all the while to be but clap-trap Dutch metal!  Convinced,
+as he must be, that the Washington Treaty is one of the trashiest pieces
+of diplomacy that has ever disgraced a government, and that the whole
+community has been dissatisfied at having to make the Americans a nice
+little present of three millions of money--in settlement of a claim for
+which neither the law of nations nor moral opinion held us responsible--
+he is obliged to argue that it is "a splendid triumph for the ministry,"
+and that the "public is overjoyed" to grease Uncle Sam's outstretched
+palm!
+
+You know, the deeds of "our William" _must be_ bolstered up; lest
+"waverers" should waver off to the ranks of the "Constitutionalists,"
+and the "great Liberal party" come to grief at the next general
+election!
+
+So, how can a journalist have a conscience?  You see I'm right, and that
+I had some excuse for my foreign correspondence of American origin.
+
+I lay the whole blame of the transaction, however, on the narrow
+shoulders of my lanky "down-east" proprietor:--_he_ is the man to blame
+in the matter, not I!
+
+After a time, I got tired of this work.  I then left the journal on
+which I had been first engaged--with no hard feelings on either side,
+let it be mentioned--to join the literary staff of the _Aurora
+Borealis_, an organ of quite a different complexion, and of considerable
+notoriety in the empire city, as it was famed for its bizarre sensations
+and teeming news.
+
+Here my labours became much more extended--my experiences and knowledge
+of all shades of American life and character the more varied and
+complete in consequence.
+
+Years before, when at school in England, I had made some acquaintance
+with shorthand, in order to save me trouble in noting down lectures--for
+the purpose of afterwards writing themes thereon, as we had to do at
+Queen's College, under "old Jack's" rule; and, having kept up the
+acquisition, I found it now of considerable use, for, it caused me to be
+sent about much more than might otherwise have been the case--to report
+the speeches of prominent public men, whether they were "stumping the
+provinces" throughout the Union, or basking in the blazing "bunkum" of
+the capital at Washington.
+
+What an enormous amount of empty talk have I not had to attend to,
+noting it down carefully, as if it were of the most vital importance
+that not a syllable should be lost!
+
+I have listened, with amused ears often, and busy pencil, to the
+diabolical denunciations of our poor ill-used country, which have long
+since made famous Senator Sumner--the greatest Anglophobist in the
+States; hearkened to Horace Greeley's eager utterances, delivered in
+thin falsetto voice, wherein he urged, as he urged to the last,
+universal brotherhood and reconciliation between the North and South;
+heard Andrew Johnson, the whilom president and one of the ablest who
+ever occupied that position for ages, defend himself against
+impeachment--that had been promoted through the bitter animosity of a
+hostile faction--with the eloquence and legal ability of a Cicero and
+the fearlessness of a Catiline:--
+
+Reported Ben Butler, the ex-general, and now lawyer, of New Orleans,
+where he attached to himself an infamous notoriety, that will never
+desert him--"The Beast," as Brick Pomeroy, the western wit, calls him--
+pelting his prosy platitudes and muddy language at the New York
+"rowdies," who responded with a more practical shower, of dead cats, and
+eggs that had seen their better days:--reported Frederick Douglas, the
+tinted expounder of "advanced Ethiopianism," who regularly tells his
+audiences--of sympathising abolitioners--that he had been "bought for
+three thousand dollars when a slave"--a precious deal more than he was
+worth, to judge by his appearance--although, he somehow always forgets
+to speak of the present price he asks, for his "vote and interest!"
+
+Reported Miss Anna Dickenson, the female champion, of whom report says
+that she loveth the forementioned negro advocate even more as "a man"
+than as "a brother," and who blinks her eyes and rolls out her sentences
+at such a rate that the one dazzle while the other appal the poor
+stenographer who may have to "follow" her:--reported Mesdames Susan B
+Anthony--please notice the "B"--and Cady Stanton, besides a host of
+other strenuous assertors of "woman's rights" and male wrongs--in
+respect of petticoat government, "free love," and various similar
+amiable, progressional theories that mark the advancement of our
+Transatlantic sisterhood!--Yes, I have reported each and all of these as
+they declaimed to their glory and satisfaction--and my disgust and
+impatience, when their loquacity has extended to such a length that I
+have had to sit up all night in order to write out my shorthand notes in
+time for the waiting press--confound them!
+
+Beyond this, I have "interviewed" politicians of every school and
+temper--from Fernando Wood, the chief "wire puller" of swindling Tammany
+Hall, up to doughty, tongue-tied General Grant, the "useless
+slaughtering" commander of the northern forces during the civil war--
+having had the pleasure of learning from the former how "logs" are
+"rolled" in the furtherance of party ends; and, from the latter,
+although the information only came out in dribbled monosyllables in
+answer to gently disguised questions, for the reticent warrior can
+hardly put two words of a sentence together, that he had been "bred up a
+farmer," and, considered himself "more fit" for "that state of life"
+than any other--in which opinion, as he has never been publicly tried in
+the calling, I cordially agree with him.
+
+I have, likewise, "interviewed" prize-fighters, before they proceeded to
+take action in some "merry little mill;" Mormon prophets' wives, who had
+come east to purchase Parisian finery for the after delectation of Utah
+eyes, and the envy of other polygamous families not so favoured as they;
+Chinese missions, under the escort of a Burlinghame; condemned
+criminals, awaiting the fatal noose, and who wished to give their "last
+speech and confession" to the world; Japanese jugglers, who expressed
+their opinion of the States--the main object of every reporter's cross-
+examination generally--in a sort of phonographic language, too, in which
+the signs were feats of legerdemain and the "arbitrary characters," the
+butterfly and basket tricks!
+
+In fact, I "interviewed" everybody that was worth "interviewing," and
+who could be got at to be "interviewed."
+
+Seen life?
+
+I should just think I had.  I would not dream of fancying myself in a
+position to give any trustworthy opinion on the subject of America and
+its people, unless I had thus mixed amongst all classes of the community
+during a lengthened stay in the country--although, mind you, your
+"working-man's friend," and "trades' union delegate," and "Alliance"
+teetotaller, and "liberal" peer, and disestablishing Nonconformist--
+tourists all of only three weeks' experience--think they can take in, in
+one glance, the whole extent of a continent embracing some hundred
+million square miles, understanding the entire working of the
+"institutions," of the "great republic" through travelling on a railroad
+from New York to Chicago!
+
+As you will have noticed, reporters over there are set to very varied
+work instead of being fixed in any one especial groove as in England.
+
+On the paper, for instance, to which I was attached, all the staff used,
+regularly in turn, to do the dramatic criticism at the various theatres.
+We, also, had to report the sermons at all the many churches of various
+religious denominations on Sunday--whether they were Methodist,
+Episcopalian, Baptist, Lutheran, Roman Catholic, Unitarian,
+Universalist, or other which would tire you to even hear named; not
+omitting the "Spiritualists," "Agapemonites," and the "Peculiar
+People"--so, as was pointed out in an opposition paper at the time, we
+"took the devil and the deity on week days and Sundays alternately!"
+
+On the whole, putting the higher class of Americans on one side--I refer
+to those who mostly belong to the older families, in some instances
+tracing back their descent to the days of the Puritan Fathers, and who,
+having learnt culture and refinement abroad, rarely mix in public life
+in the States--the general faith and morality of our Yankee "cousins"
+have never been so tersely described as in the "Pious Editor's Creed" of
+the _Biglow Papers_, which were written, as you are doubtless aware, by
+an American, too:--
+
+  "I du believe in special ways
+  O' prayin' an' convartin';
+  The bread comes back in many days,
+  An' buttered, tu, for sartin;
+  I mean in preyin' till one busts
+  On wut the party chooses,
+  An' in convartin' public trusts
+  To very privit uses!"
+
+In one speciality, the New York journals, otherwise so inferior, set an
+example which might be imitated to advantage by their London
+contemporaries;--and, that is, in their news, the back-bone of an
+ostensible "news"-paper.
+
+I say nothing for their tone, which is essentially low--exhibiting, as
+it does, a tendency of rather pandering to the vitiated appetites of the
+mob than seeking to raise the standard of public taste and public
+manners; nor, for their literary power and status, as their leading
+articles are mostly a collection of loose sentences, strung loosely
+together without method or reasoning, and they frequently display such
+crass ignorance in the way of blunders in history and geography, as
+would shock an English school-boy.
+
+But then, their variety of intelligence from all parts of the world,
+telegraphic and specially written, in one morning's issue, is greater
+than you would gather in any one of our dailies in the consecutive
+numbers of a week!
+
+Take away the leading articles, foreign correspondence, and
+parliamentary intelligence of our Jupiters of the press; and what have
+you got left?  Only some police reports and an attenuated column of
+telegrams--solely from France and Germany, or some other part of Europe.
+
+We have an Atlantic cable; what news of America do our newspapers
+publish through its means?  Simply the rise or fall in the value of
+gold, and the price of Erie and other shares!  We have a telegraph line
+to India:--of course, we get general intelligence, of interest to all
+people, respecting our great eastern, empire?  No, we only hear what
+"shirtings" and cotton goods generally realise at Calcutta; and, the
+current rupee exchange of Bombay!
+
+It is the same case with regard to Australia and elsewhere.
+
+Although we have ample means of communication, the reading public know
+no more now about what is going on in "Greater Britain" than it did
+before the days of steam and telegraphs--comparatively-speaking.  The
+Americans, on the contrary, learn every morning the least incident that
+has occurred in their remotest territory; besides, having European news
+in abundance--the Atlantic cable being used to an extent which would,
+judging by their slight patronage of it, send an English newspaper
+proprietor into a fit!
+
+We in London hardly keep pace with the the doings of our provincials
+within easy railway distance of the metropolis, much less take notice of
+our dependencies:--the existence of places without the London radius is
+seldom brought home to the readers of our daily metropolitan papers,
+except some "Frightful Murder," or "Painful Accident," or "Dreadful
+Calamity" occurs, to fasten ephemeral attention on them for awhile!
+
+Why, cannot we have such general news as the Americans have every day,
+in our papers, from all parts of the British empire, as well as that
+"foreign" intelligence, which is limited mostly to the adjacent
+continent?
+
+The expense, you say?
+
+Rubbish, my dear sir!  Why, in the case of a war, no pains are spared to
+send out good correspondents of position and ability; no money grudged
+to bring home information, even if special modes of conveyance have to
+be organised.  Surely, in times of peace, a tithe of this expenditure
+would not be wasted in making our colonies and the "mother" country
+better acquainted with each other--to the future benefit of both?
+
+I may be wrong, certainly, for we are all of us liable to error.  You
+know--
+
+  "Different peoples has different opinions--
+  Some likes apples and some likes inions!"
+
+Still, I think that English readers are probably just as anxious to know
+what is going on in India, in Australia, the West Indies, and others of
+our outlying settlements--where their relatives and friends, and our
+country-men, are spreading our nation, our language, and our
+civilisation--as to hear that Monsieur Thiers has gone to Switzerland,
+or that Prince Esselkopf is taking "the waters" at Dullberg on the
+Rhine!  Such, is my opinion--at all events.
+
+But, Min's letters, eh?
+
+I'm just coming to them.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWELVE.
+
+"HOMEWARD BOUND."
+
+  There's Jack has made a wondrous marriage;
+  There's laughing Tom is laughing yet;
+  There's brave Augustus drives his carriage;
+  There's poor old Fred in the "Gazette;"
+  On James's head the grass is growing;
+  Good Lord! the world has wagged apace
+  Since here we set the claret flowing,
+  And drank, and ate the Bouillabaisse.
+
+Min's letters!  Ah, how I expected them, awaited them, devoured them!--
+from the first tender response that came in answer to mine, to the last
+little darling oblong-enveloped, dainty hand-written missive I
+received--ere I shook off the dust of the "Empire City" from my New-
+World-wearied feet, and left Sandy Hook behind me!
+
+It would be a vain task, should I attempt to describe to you the agony
+of suspense in which I watched every week for the arrival of the
+European mail; for, I'm sure, that Sir Samuel Cunard himself could not
+have evinced so deep an interest in the safety of his steamers as I did;
+no, not even if they had been uninsured, and the underwriters declined
+all offers of "risk" premiums, be they never so high and tempting!
+
+Long before the regular _Scotia_, the _Java_, or the _Russia_ could, in
+their several turns, possibly have achieved the ocean passage, I was on
+the look out for them; prophesying all manner of disasters in the event
+of their being delayed; and overjoyed, with a frenzied rapture, should
+they be signalled in advance of their anticipated time!  And then, when
+they had glided up New York Bay and anchored in the Hudson, how rapidly
+would my eager impatience bear me to the dingy old Post office "down
+town," where I would sometimes have to wait for hours before the letters
+were sorted and delivered!
+
+Should there be none for me, I was in despair--imagining all the various
+calamities, probable and improbable, that might have happened--although
+I might have heard from England only a few days previously; while,
+should I obtain a dearly-prized note from my darling, I was in ecstasy--
+only to be on the look out for the next mail a moment afterwards!
+
+I was never satisfied.
+
+I remember an official in the Ann Street Bureau asking me one day, what
+made me "so almight lonesome" about the "old country;" and "guessing,"
+when I took no notice of his question, that I had "a young woman over
+the water."
+
+Young woman, indeed!  If looks could kill, that inquisitive and ill-
+mannered person was a dead man on the spot!
+
+I never heard anything so impertinent in my life!
+
+Her letters!
+
+I could almost see, as I read them, the dear, earnest, soul-lit grey
+eyes, gazing once more into mine; the loving little hand that penned
+each darling sentence.  In fancy, I could mark the changing expressions
+that swept across the sweet Madonna face, whose every line I knew so
+well, as, down-bent on the rustling paper, some sad or happy
+recollection filled her mind for awhile, in detailing those little
+events of her daily life which she related to please me.  She wrote to
+me easily and naturally, just as if she were talking to me--the greatest
+charm a letter can have.  The written words appeared to speak out to me
+in silvery intonations and musical rhythm:--the very violet ink seemed
+scented with her breath!
+
+Dear little Miss Pimpernell had endeavoured to satisfy, as far as she
+was able, the longing cravings of my heart for any intelligence about
+Min--how she was looking, if she saw her often, did she think of me, if
+she was happy or miserable at my absence; but, how little could her
+budgets compare with the letters I now got regularly, once a fortnight
+at least, from Min herself--the fountain-head of all my desires!
+
+She told me everything--where she went, what she did, even what she
+thought--in simple, artless language that made me know her better, in
+the thorough workings of her nature, than during those long months of
+our intimacy at home.
+
+I had plenty of news, too; besides information, on sundry little points,
+which was only of interest to us two.
+
+Nothing passed in Saint Canon's with which I was not made acquainted;
+and, I now learnt much that Miss Pimpernell had not told, or which I had
+been unable to make out and understand, through the difficulties I met
+with in the dear old lady's penmanship.
+
+Her writing resembled more the intricate movements of a particularly
+sharp-legged and frisky spider, previously dipped in very pale ink, over
+the pages she laboured at so painstakingly for my benefit, than any
+ordinary calligraphy!  _She_, however, believed it especially neat and
+intelligible; and, I would not have undeceived the dear old soul for the
+world!
+
+In one instance, she had mentioned--so I deciphered the intelligence--
+something about Horner marrying, as I thought, Lizzie Dangler; but, I
+now found out from Min, that my Downing Street friend was _engaged_
+only, not married; and, that the object of his choice was Seraphine
+Dasher, instead of the former young lady--the error being easily
+explainable in the fact, that all of Miss Pimpernell's capital letters,
+with the exception of her "B's" and "H's," bore a close family
+resemblance to each other; while, the remaining components of her words
+were composed of a single dash, and besides that, nothing.  Hence, arose
+the mistake of my confounding the two names, both of which commenced
+with a "D"--which it was a wonder that I saw at all, it being Miss
+Pimpernell's weakest capital!
+
+But, I knew now who had really got the handkerchief thrown by the Sultan
+of Downing Street; while Lizzie Dangler was yet free to bless some more
+sagacious swain.  So, also, was lisping, little, flaxen-haired Baby
+Blake, whom I had believed much more likely to capture Horner than the
+Seraph, as she was always chaffing him and making light of his
+attentions.
+
+However, girls are so deceptive, that, unless you are let into the
+secret, you can never find out the happy individuals whom they really
+favour.  We men folk, on the contrary, soon contrive to exhibit the
+state of our feelings to unsympathising outsiders, who laugh at us and
+deride us thereanent!  We are "creatures of impulse:"--they, the most
+barefaced little dissimulators possible!
+
+Fancy, Horner being married, though!
+
+"Bai-ey Je-ove!"  It would be, to me, well-nigh incredible!
+
+Fancy his "popping the question" to Seraphine--who, I'm positive, must
+have giggled in his face when that interesting operation was gone
+through; and, then, his subsequent interview with Lady Dasher, who
+probably detailed for his instruction, how her "poor dear papa" had
+acted on a similar memorable occasion!
+
+I should only like to learn how many times his eye-glass was really
+appealed to, to help him out of a sentence; and, how frequently he said
+"Ba-iey Je-ove!" before the whole thing was arranged and his mind set at
+ease!
+
+The marriage was to take place very soon--really, all of our
+acquaintances were getting married, and having their courses of true
+love to run smoothly for them, unlike Min and I!
+
+After the ceremony was over between these twain, I was told that Lady
+Dasher--who, now that her two daughters would be "off her hands," no
+longer had any necessity to keep up a separate establishment--was to
+move from The Terrace, with her fuchsias and other belongings, and take
+up her residence for the future with her first son-in-law, Mr Mawley;
+the curate being now ensconced in that villa, whose furnishing by old
+Shuffler, lang syne, had caused me so much jealousy and grief!
+
+Ah!  This _was_ news.
+
+I chuckled immensely over the idea of the relict of the gin distiller
+settling down like a wet blanket on the connubial couch of the curate!
+
+Whenever the ghost of "poor dear papa," in a reminiscential form, was
+made to walk the earth again, I would be avenged for all the quips and
+jibes which Mawley had formerly selected me to receive!  He would meet
+with an antagonist now, worthy of his carping, critical metal!  I wished
+him joy of the situation!
+
+Mawley and Lady Dasher together in one house, permanently!
+
+I say no more.
+
+Is it not strange how you may live on and live on in some quiet country
+spot, or retired suburb, without anything ever occurring to vary the
+dull monotony of its even existence; and yet, the moment you go away
+from this whilom, stagnant neighbourhood--which you had got to believe
+was everlastingly unchangeable--change then succeeds change with
+startling rapidity:--as you at a distance hear from those friends whom
+you had left behind--to simmer on there, as you had simmered on, until
+the end of the chapter?
+
+Of course, from having become more interested with the deeds and designs
+of those actors that might be connected with the new scenes amidst which
+you may now be situated, you will not attach such importance to these
+events as you would probably have done had you been yet living on in the
+time-honoured routine of your old abiding-place.  They are to you, at
+present, only so many little fly-blows on the scroll of time, so to
+speak.  But, there was a period when you would have regarded them as of
+the utmost moment; and when, the deaths of people whom you thought would
+never die, the marriages of those that seemed the most unlikely subjects
+for matrimony, the flittings of persons of the "oldest inhabitant"
+class--that you calculated would stick-on there for ever, and their
+replacement by the advent of new families, whom you would have supposed
+to be the last in the world to settle down in the locality in question--
+would have been matters of nine days' wonderment.
+
+It was so now with myself in, regard to Saint Canon's.
+
+Horner's engagement, Lady Dasher's contemplated removal, the idea of the
+curate's incubus--all of which would have once filled me with surprise,
+astonishment, delight--I only looked upon with half-amused interest.
+
+Even the intelligence that Miss Spight had joined the sisterhood
+organised by Brother Ignatius, hardly affected me as it would formerly
+have done.
+
+I belonged to another world now, as it were; and, the announcements of
+births--Mrs Mawley had already presented her lord and master with a
+little pledge of her affection--and bridals, and burials, at the two
+last of which I might once have assisted, hardly awoke a passing
+interest in me!
+
+I was too far removed from the orbit in which these phenomena were
+displayed.
+
+I felt that there were not many now in whom I felt concern at Saint
+Canon's.
+
+No exceptions, you ask?
+
+Certainly, there were exceptions.
+
+I am astonished at your making the observation.
+
+How could I otherwise "prove the rule," eh?
+
+Min told me that Monsieur Parole d'Honneur was as gay and as full of
+anecdote as of yore.  She also told me, too, that the kind-hearted
+Frenchman having chanced to meet her out one day, long before she had
+been able to hear from me directly, had, in the most delicately-
+diplomatic way, led the conversation round to America, so that he might
+tell her that I was not only well, but doing well!
+
+This was at the time I had written a rapturous note to him, after my
+first interview with my friend, "Brown of Philadelphia,"--before, you
+may be tolerably certain, that philanthropical polisher had "sloped to
+Texas" with the capital Parole d'Honneur endowed me with.
+
+He did not mention that latter fact of his generosity to Min, however;
+but, she knew of it, for I told her of it when we parted, and she then
+said that she thanked him in her heart for his kindness to me, and would
+always "love" him for it--so she said!
+
+The vicar and Miss Pimpernell--also "exceptions,"--I heard, were just as
+usual; the former as much liked as ever by rich and poor alike, in the
+parish; the latter, trotting about still, with her big basket and
+creature comforts for those whom she spiritually visited.
+
+Old Shuffler, too, wobbled on, as he had wobbled on as far back as I
+could recollect, Min told me; and rolled his sound eye, and stared with
+his glass one, as glassily as then.
+
+I heard also that "Dicky Chips" was as frolicsome and light-hearted a
+bullfinch as when Min first had him, and had learnt several new tricks.
+
+But, poor old Catch--my dog--whom I had so loved, had died in my
+absence; not from old age, for he was but young, having only seen his
+fifth birthday; but, "full of honours," as every one liked him and
+respected him who knew of his sagacity and faithfulness, and saw his
+honest brown eyes and handsome high cast head.
+
+Dear old doggy!
+
+I had had him from the time he was a month old; and he and I had hardly
+ever been, parted from that time until I went to America.
+
+He used to accompany me wherever I went, by day; and sleep across my
+room door at night.
+
+He never had had a harsh word from me but once, that I remember; and,
+that was respecting a certain little matter connected with a stray
+sheep, about which we happened to differ on the occasion.
+
+Poor Catch!  I can fancy I hear his eager bark now.  It was a welcome to
+which I looked forward on my return to England, as only secondary to the
+pleasure I would have in meeting Min; and, I confess, when I heard of
+his loss, I mourned him more than I had ever mourned one whom the world
+calls "friend," before.  He was faithful always; changing never.  How
+many reputed "friends" will you find to act thus?
+
+I think that Lord Byron's recollection of his trusty dog must have
+absolved him from a hundred character blots.  Do you remember those
+lines he wrote to the memory of "Boatswain," on the monument he erected
+in his honour at Newstead Abbey?  I would like them on Catch's tomb, if
+I only knew where the dear old fellow lies; for, what "Boatswain" was to
+Byron, so was he to me:--
+
+  "In life the foremost friend,
+  The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
+  Whose honest heart is still his master's own,
+  Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
+  Unhonour'd falls, unnoticed all his worth,
+  Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth!"
+
+Min's news did not come all at once.
+
+It was spread over an expanse of many months, during which I was
+rambling over the States;--reporting this speaker and that;--studying
+"life and character" in every way--from the inspection of negro camp-
+meetings, where coloured saints expounded doctrinal views that would
+have made Wilberforce shudder, to participating in a presidential
+election, wherein I had the opportunity of seeing the inherent
+rottenness of the Transatlantic "institution" thoroughly exposed.
+
+When I was thus bustling about, amidst so many varied phases of life, I
+could not very well sympathise with the quiet doings of Saint Canon's.
+
+But, on my return to my Brooklyn lodgings, when once more appointed to
+regular newspaper work at the office of the journal with which I was
+connected in New York, the old home longings returned also as strong as
+ever--stronger, as time went on!
+
+I got in the habit of again marking my almanack, as Robinson Crusoe
+notched his post, every day; saying to myself the while, that I was
+brought one day nearer to my darling as the sun went down; one day
+nearer as it rose on the morrow:--one day nearer to the date of my exile
+being ended!
+
+I remained in America much longer than I intended.
+
+However, as Mrs Clyde did not carry out her threat of closing our
+correspondence at the end of the first year of our quasi-engagement, I
+had still Min's dear letters to encourage me and cheer me on.
+
+I do not know what I should have done without them.
+
+There was no benefit to be derived from my going back until the
+Government appointment, which the vicar had the promise of for me,
+should be vacant.  But, this, the wretched old gentleman who continued
+to hold it, would not give up until he reached the age of
+superannuation, when he would be forced to retire--in which respect he
+was not unlike many old field officers in the army, and "flag" ditto in
+the navy, who _will_ persist in remaining on the "active list" of both
+services long past the age of usefulness, to the prevention of younger
+men from getting on!
+
+O "seniority!"
+
+Thou art the curse of all classes of officialdom in England--"civil" and
+"military" alike!
+
+By-and-by, however, when my patience had become exhausted, and I was
+seriously thinking of starting home with the few hundred dollars I had
+made on the American press, the vicar wrote for me to come.
+
+The old gentleman--might his "shadow never be less," I devoutly wished--
+had betaken himself to his plough after an arduous official service of
+forty years.  He only retired, however, because he received a pension
+amounting to his full salary, for which he had striven and kept me out
+of his shoes so long.  Putting the thought of this on one side, the
+secretaryship was now mine, as soon as I arrived to claim it--the sooner
+that was, the better, the vicar added, as if I needed any stimulus to
+return to home and my darling!
+
+What a delightful, darling letter Min sent to me, too!
+
+She told me that I was to start off immediately--"at once, sir,"--on
+receipt of her tender little missive.  She was expecting me, looking for
+me, awaiting me!
+
+She had learnt all the songs I liked; had prepared the dresses in which
+I had said she looked best; would greet me, oh, so gladly!
+
+I was to keep my promise and arrive on Christmas-eve, when her mother
+would be happy to see me; and she--well, she didn't know yet whether
+_she_ would speak to me or not:--it, really, depended whether I was
+"good!"
+
+I took my passage in a steamer leaving the next day; but, instead of
+getting home on Christmas-eve, I only arrived at Liverpool a day before
+the close of the year--six days late!  However, I was in England at
+last, in the same dear land that held my darling; and she would forgive
+me, I knew, when she saw how glad I was to get back to her dear little
+self.  "Naughty Frank!" she would say--"I won't speak to you at all,
+sir!"
+
+And, wouldn't she?
+
+Oh, dear no!
+
+All the way up to town from the fair city on the Mersey, the railway
+nymphs, whom I had previously noticed on my journey to Southampton, were
+as busy as then, with their musical strains.
+
+The burden of their present song, echoing through my heart, was,--
+
+  "Going to see Min!  Going to see Min!
+  Going to see Min, without delay!
+  Going to see Min!  Going to see Min!
+  Soon!  Soon!!  Soon!!"
+
+The last bars chiming in when the buffers joined the chorus with a
+"jolt, jolt, jolt."
+
+As the train glided, at length--after some six hours of reeling and
+bumping and puffing along, the railway nymphs never slackening their
+song for an instant, into the Euston-square station--I saw the kind
+vicar and dear little Miss Pimpernell awaiting me on the platform.
+
+It was just like their usual kindness to come and meet me thus!
+
+I had telegraphed to them from Liverpool, telling them the time when I
+might hope to be in London; and, there they were to the minute, although
+I had never expected them, having only informed them of my coming, in
+order that they might let my darling know that I was on my way to her.
+
+I jumped out of the carriage before it stopped, in defiance of all the
+company's bye-laws; and, advanced to clasp their outstretched hands.
+But--
+
+What was it, that I could read in the grave kind face of the one, the
+glad yet sorrowful eyes of the other, before a word had passed on either
+side?  What was it, that congealed the flood of joyful questionings,
+with which I went forward to meet them, in an icy lump pressing down
+upon my brain; and, that snapped a chord in my heart that has never
+vibrated since?
+
+Min was dead!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
+
+"DEATH."
+
+  O sweet and strange it seems to me, that ere this day is done,
+  The voice, that now is speaking, may be beyond the sun--
+  For ever and for ever with those just souls and true--
+  And what is life, that we should moan?  Why make we such ado?
+
+What!  Min dead--my darling whom I had hurried home to see once more,
+the whisper of whose calling I had heard across the expanse of vast
+Atlantic in eager entreaty; and whose tender, clinging affection I had
+looked forward to, as the earnest of all my toils and struggles, my
+longing hopes, my halting doubts, my groans, my tears!
+
+It could not be.
+
+I would not believe it.  God could not be so cruel as man; and what man
+would do such a heartless deed?
+
+It was false.  Could I not hear her merry, rippling laughter, as she
+came forth heart-joyous to greet me; see the dear, soul-lit, grey eyes
+beaming with happiness and love; feel her perfumed violet breath as she
+raised her darling little rosebud of a mouth to mine--as I had fancied,
+and pictured it all, over and over again, a thousand times and more?
+
+Hark! was not that her glad voice speaking now in silvery accents--"O,
+Frank!" nothing more; but, a world of welcome in the simple syllables?
+
+Dead!
+
+How could she be dead, when I was waiting to hear from her truth-
+telling, loving lips what she had written to tell me already--that she
+trusted me again, as she had trusted me in those old, old days that had
+passed by never to return; and, loved me still in spite of all?
+
+Dead!  It was a lie.  They wanted to deceive me.  They were joking with
+me!
+
+Min, my darling, dead?  It could not be.  It was impossible!
+
+Did they take me for a fool?
+
+I could laugh at the idea.--What did they mean by it?
+
+Min, dead!--God in heaven--how _could_ they torture me so!
+
+But, it was true.
+
+I cannot bear to speak of it all now, it unmans me.  It makes me, a
+great strong man, appear as a little sobbing child!
+
+I do not know what went on for days after I realised what had happened
+to me.  I was mad, I believe; for they said I had lost my senses.
+
+And even now, sometimes, I feel as if I were not myself, when I recall
+the past with all its empty dreams--in which I almost attained to
+paradise--that were ruthlessly swept away in one fell swoop by the agony
+of hell I suffered on being conscious of my loss.
+
+No, I am not myself.  There is something missing in me--something that
+completed my identity; and, without which, I am not even a perfect atom
+on the ocean of time--as I will be nothing in, the labyrinth of
+eternity!--For,--
+
+  "The waves of a mighty sorrow
+  Have whelmed the pearl of my life;
+  And there cometh for me no morrow,
+  To solace this desolate strife!"
+
+When I was able to bear the narration, I was told all.
+
+Min had caught a violent cold only a week before the Christmas-eve on
+which she expected me; and, in spite of all that science and love could
+do, she died before the dawn of the new year.  She had looked forward to
+seeing me to the last, hoping against hope.  She knew, she had said,
+that I would keep my word and come when she sent for me.  But, when
+Christmas-eve arrived without my coming, she did not seem disappointed.
+She then said that God had willed it otherwise:--something must have
+arisen to prevent my arrival:--we would meet again in the Great
+Hereafter:--she would leave a message for me, to reconcile me to our
+brief separation, ere we met once more.
+
+And, with that thought of me in her great loving heart, with that
+blessed reliance in her Saviour's promise, and with a smile of ecstatic
+bliss on her lips, she "fell asleep"--without my seeing her, O my God!
+
+Perhaps, on recollecting many of the incidents of my story, and calling
+to mind the tone and manner in which I have described them, you may have
+thought me then merry and light-hearted, where now I am moody and
+sombre?
+
+True; but, life is made up of grave and gay.
+
+It is hackneyed to say that "the clown that grins before the audience,
+who laugh with and at the merryandrew and his antics, is frequently
+weeping behind his mask;" yet, it is often the case.
+
+Life is hysterical and spasmodic.
+
+Many of us, believed by surface-studying people to be the gayest of the
+gay, have in reality a dull, rending pain gnawing us inwardly the
+while--like as the fox was gnawing the Spartan boy's entrails; and, like
+him again, we are too proud--for what is courage but pride?--to speak of
+our suffering.  We do not "wear our hearts" on our sleeve "for daws to
+peck at!"
+
+The "consolation of religion," you suggest?
+
+Bah!  How can I be consoled, when I have been bereft of all that made
+existence dear, receiving nothing in return--nothing but doubt and
+uncertainty, and a despair unspeakable?
+
+Could comfort accrue to me, when I wandered back along the pathway of
+memory, catching sunny glimpses of the rosy future which my imagination
+had marked out, and then comparing these with the dreary outlook that
+now was mine?
+
+When I think of what might have been and now can never happen, I rave!
+
+I should count my loss a "gain," you say?
+
+I cannot, I cannot!
+
+Saint Paul might have so truly exemplified the position of earthly
+misery as opposed to heavenly reward; but, _I_ am powerless to give the
+deduction a personal application.
+
+You tell me to look above, and have faith in the hope of rejoining her?
+
+She is there, I know--that is, if there be a just God, a heaven, and
+angels in paradise; but, how can I, sinner as I am and as I have been,
+dream of climbing up to such a height?
+
+It is an impossibility.  I dare not hope for mercy and forgiveness.
+Why, the very angels would scout me; and she, who was always glad of my
+approach, would now draw aside the hem of her raiment lest I should
+touch it and defile her!
+
+Do you know, that, the acutest pang that thrills through my heart,
+arises from the consciousness, that, while she was here, I was unworthy
+of her--as I would be doubly so were I now able to take the wings of the
+morning and reach the uttermost parts of heaven where she dwells.
+
+Learn, O brothers! loving, like myself, hopelessly, unsuccessfully:--
+learn by me, by my blighted life, my lost present, my vanished hopes of
+heaven, that, the worst possible use to which you can put the divine
+image in which you are clothed, is "to go to the devil" for a woman's
+sake!  Should she be deserving of your affection, as in most cases she
+will probably be--ten times more than you are of hers--this is one of
+the most inferior proofs that you can give of it; while, should she be
+unworthy of it, as may happen, you are a dolt for your pains--to put the
+motive of action at no higher level.
+
+And O sister women, daughters of England, fair to look upon, tender-
+hearted, ministering! think, that although no man that ever lived, but
+one, is perfectly worthy of a pure woman's love, many an erring brother
+may be recalled from his down-treading steps to hell, to higher, nobler
+duties by your influence; as many a soul is damned, both here and
+hereafter through your default!
+
+Bear with me yet a little longer.  I shall soon be done.  It is a relief
+to me thus to unbosom myself.  Like Aenone--"while I speak of it, a
+little while, my heart may wander from its deeper woe."
+
+Min taught me to pray; and I _have_ prayed; but, the most fervent spirit
+that ever breathed out its conscience to its Maker could never hope to
+undo the past.
+
+"O death, where is thy sting?  O grave, where is thy victory?"  It was
+all very well for him who had faced Azrael, and looked upon himself as a
+dying man, to speak thus!
+
+Beautiful as is the sentiment contained in the words, are they _true_?
+
+I know that a brave man, one who does not credit an eternity and has not
+the slightest thought on the subject of future salvation or future
+punishment, can, when quitting the only world of his knowledge, look
+upon his approaching end with a courage and an apathetic calm which
+resemble the smiling fortitude wherewith the ancient gladiators uttered
+their parting salutations to Nero--when, in expectation, they waited for
+the fatal thumb to be turned down, in token of their doom.
+
+I can well believe that an earnest Christian, likewise, regards his
+instant dissolution, with equanimity and, even joy--through
+contemplation of the everlasting happiness in which he devoutly trusts.
+
+Still, how do both, the irreligious man and the hopeful believer, bear
+the loss of those dear to them--they themselves being left behind,
+forsaken, to grieve over their vacant chairs, their despoiled folds?--
+Has not Death his sting for them; the grave, its awful triumph?--
+
+I do not always speak like this, however; nor are my thoughts ever
+bitter and despairing.
+
+"Fret not thyself," says the Psalmist, "lest thou be moved to do evil;"
+and, I try not to fret when I remember the message my darling left for
+me with Miss Pimpernell--who watched by her dying bed and told me what
+she had said, in her very own dear, dear words.  It is then that I haunt
+the old scenes with which her presence will ever be associated in my
+mind; and, weave over again the warp and woof of vanished days.
+
+The trim market gardens dwindling down in the distance, thickly planted,
+as of yore; the winding country lanes intersecting, which twist and turn
+in every direction of the compass, and yet find their way down to the
+silent river that hurries by their outlets; the old stone, buildings,
+about whose origin we used to perplex ourselves--all remind me of her
+and happiness!
+
+The very scent of the hedgerows, a pot-pourri of honeysuckles and roses,
+and of red, pink and white hawthorn, brings back to me her sayings when
+we walked and talked together there--long, long ago, it seems, although
+it was but yesterday.
+
+And, in the Prebend's Walk memory is more and more busy still, as I pace
+along its weary length solitary, alone--for, even my poor old dog had
+died during my absence; and what were those idle, fair-weather
+acquaintances, whom the world calls "friends," to me in my grief!  I am
+better without their company: it makes my mind unhealthy.--
+
+So, I walk, alone with my heart and its grief!
+
+The stately lime-trees bend as I pass them by; and, seem to sigh for her
+who is gone, never to return.  The ruined fosse, stagnant and moss-
+covered, speaks of ruin and desolation.  The crumbling walls that once
+encircled the Prebend's residence, also reveal the slowly-sure power of
+the destroyer's hand, more and more apparent each year that rolls over
+them.
+
+But, the church, Norman--turretted and oaken-chancelled, is fullest of
+these bitter-sweet memories of my darling.
+
+All its old-fashioned surroundings appear in keeping with my feelings:--
+the carved galleries, the quaint, up-standing pulpit with its massive
+sounding board, the monumental tablets on the walls, the open-raftered
+roof; and, when, sitting in the high box-pew, where I first saw her, the
+organ gives forth its tremulous swell--before some piercingly pitched
+note from the _vox humana_ stop, cries out like a soul in agony like
+mine--I can almost believe I see her again sitting opposite me, her
+sweet madonna face bent down over her Bible, or upturned in adoration,
+as I then noticed it!
+
+I feel that her unseen presence is near me, watching me from the spirit
+world above; or else, hovering by me, to guide my errant footsteps on
+the pathway to heaven and lead my thoughts, through the recollection of
+her faith and purity, and love, to things on high.
+
+Would that I felt her presence always:--would that my thoughts, my
+actions, my life, were such as she would have had them!
+
+It was after I had gone to the old church for the first time--it was
+weeks before I could have the resolution to go--that Miss Pimpernell
+gave me my darling's message; touching with a tender touch on her last
+moments here.
+
+She told me she had never seen or heard of so peaceful an end as hers--
+such fervent faith, such earnest reliance on her Saviour.  She seemed to
+have a presentiment from the first, of her death; and, when she was told
+there was no hope of her recovery, she only grieved for those she left
+behind; and for me and my disappointment, my old friend said, chief of
+all.--
+
+"I know he will be sorry,"--she said at the last.--"But, tell him that I
+loved him and trusted him to the end.  Tell him good-bye for me, and to
+be good--not for my sake only, but, for God's!"
+
+These were the last words she uttered.
+
+She died, Miss Pimpernell said, with a soft sigh of contentment and a
+smile of seraphic happiness on her face; and, the face of the dead
+girl--she added sobbing--looked like the face of an angel in its purity
+and innocence, and with the stamp of heaven on its lifeless clay.
+
+She is buried in the churchyard where she and I so often mused and spoke
+of those who had gone before--little thinking that _she_ would be so
+soon taken, and _I_, left desolate to mourn her loss.
+
+Her grave is a perfect little garden.
+
+Loving eyes watch it, loving hands tend it.  A little, green, velvet-
+turfed mound is in the midst, planted round with all the flowers that
+she loved--snowdrops and violets in the early part of the year, roses
+and lilies in summer, little daisies always--for she used to say she
+liked them because others generally despised them.
+
+I go there twice a day, morning and night.  Her mother knows of my
+visits; but, we never meet, even there!  She does not interfere with me;
+and _I_ have buried the feud of the past in Min's grave.  _There_ my
+heart finds only room for love and grief, ebbing and flowing in unison;
+coupled with a hope, which becomes more and more assured, now that I
+have received her message, that we shall yet meet again in that promised
+land where there is no death and no parting, only a sweet forgetfulness
+of the ills of life, and a remembrance of all its joy--the happy land of
+which my dream foretold in the early days of our love.
+
+When I breathe the bloom of the flowers that rise from my darling's
+resting-place in the early summer time, I almost experience peace!  Her
+sainted presence _must_ be watching over me, I am convinced; and, my
+soul expands with a desire and a resolve, so to guard my life, that I
+may hereafter obtain "the crown incorruptible" that now, I know, she's
+wearing!
+
+This is in summer.
+
+But, in winter--winter which is connected by a thousand close and closer
+associations with her, I cannot so be content!--
+
+It was at Christmas tide that I first spoke to her:--Christmas when we
+parted.  On Christmas-eve we were to have met again:--it was Christmas
+when she died--
+
+--In winter?--
+
+_Ay de mi_!
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
+
+"DESOLATION."
+
+  As when a soul laments, which hath been blest,
+  Desiring what is mingled with past years,
+  In yearnings that can never be exprest
+  By sighs, or groans or tears;
+  Because all words, tho' cull'd with choicest art,
+  Failing to give the bitter of the sweet,
+  Wither beneath the palate, and the heart
+  Faints, faded by its heat!
+
+The Christmas bells, they are ringing; but ringing no gladness to me!
+Ringing, and ringing, and ringing; a death-peal, which fain would I
+flee.
+
+The feathery flakes are falling from the dull-grey, pall-like sky;
+falling, and falling, and falling; and, slowly they gather and lie.
+
+The snowy-white mantle it covers, the churchyard and meadow and lea, as
+now by her grave I am kneeling;--yet, nothing but darkness _I_ see!
+
+The little red robin is carving a cross on her grave with his feet; as
+he hops from the head-stone and carols, his requiem low and sweet.
+
+All nature is hushed, and the stillness, of earth and of air and sky,
+though pierced by the song of the robin, but whispers a long "good-bye!"
+
+Good-bye to my darling!  'Tis ended; gone are the hopes of my life--O
+God! that our fates were blended, and finished this desolate strife!
+
+THE END.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's She and I, Volume 2, by John Conroy Hutcheson
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