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diff --git a/21118.txt b/21118.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d707c69 --- /dev/null +++ b/21118.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7066 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Etheldreda the Ready, by Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Etheldreda the Ready + A School Story + +Author: Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey + +Illustrator: Charles Horrell + +Release Date: April 17, 2007 [EBook #21118] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETHELDREDA THE READY *** + + + + +Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England + + + + +Etheldreda the Ready +A School Story + +By Mrs George de Horne Vaizey + + +ETHELDREDA THE READY +A SCHOOL STORY + +BY MRS GEORGE DE HORNE VAIZEY + + + +CHAPTER ONE. + +The first part of the Christmas holidays had gone with a roar. The +Saxon family in conclave agreed that never before had they had so good a +time. Invitations poured in; amusement after amusement filled up +afternoon and evening; parents and friends alike seemed imbued with a +wholly admirable desire to make the season one gay whirl of enjoyment, +and then, suddenly, just after the beginning of the New Year, the +atmosphere became mysteriously clouded. + +What was the matter? Nobody knew. One day the sky was blue and +serene--the next, the shadow was in possession. Mr Saxon looked +suddenly old and bleached, and hid himself persistently in his study; +Mrs Saxon sat at the head of the table with the air of one braced to +perform a difficult task, listened vacantly to her children's prattle, +and smiled a twisted smile in response to their merry outbursts of +laughter. Two days later Miss Bruce, the governess, was summoned +hastily to return from her holiday-making and take charge of the +household, while Mr and Mrs Saxon set forth to pay a mysterious visit +to their country house, which as a rule was left severely to the +caretaker's mercies until spring was well advanced. + +What in the world could have induced two people who were obviously +worried and depressed to leave town and go down to that dull, deserted +house in the depth of the winter? The Saxons discussed the subject with +their wonted vivacity, and from the many divergent points of view with +which they were accustomed to regard the world in general. + +They were six in all, and as true Saxons in appearance as they were in +name, being large, fair, flaxen-haired creatures, of the type which is +unfortunately growing rarer year by year. + +Rowena, tall and stately, had already reached the stage when womanhood +and girlhood meet, but her undeniable beauty was somewhat marred by an +air of self-consciousness, which was in truth more than half due to a +natural shyness and diffidence in adapting herself to new conditions. +Hereward, the Sandhurst cadet, and Gurth, the Eton stripling, were as +handsome a pair as one could wish to meet. Etheldreda, with her flowing +golden locks, widely open grey eyes and alert, vivacious features, might +have sat as a type of a bonnie English schoolgirl, while the twins, +Harold and Maud, were plump, pleasant-looking creatures, devoted to each +other, who in holiday time could be turned into convenient fags for +their elders and betters. Good old Harold could always be depended upon +to do his duty with resignation, if not cheerfulness, but Maud was one +of those constitutionally stupid people who are nevertheless gifted with +sudden flashes of sharpness apt to prove embarrassing to their +companions. The Saxons, to use their own expressive parlance, were +always "a trifle wary" in dealing with Maud, for what that young lady +thought she promptly _said_, and said without reserve, choosing, as it +seemed, out of pure "cussedness" the very moment of all others when they +would have had her silent. + +Discussions and guesses alike failed to suggest any reasonable +explanations of Mr and Mrs Saxon's mysterious behaviour, and Miss +Bruce steadily refused to be drawn, though there was a certain something +in her manner which convinced her charges that she was in the secret. + +And then on the morning of the fifth day the blow fell, in the shape of +a short, decisive note ordering the young people to pack their +belongings and repair down to "The Meads" for the remainder of the +holidays. The mandate was so firm and decisive that there was no hope +of escape. The girls might cry and the boys might storm, but both +realised the uselessness of protest. Assisted by Miss Bruce and Nannie, +once nurse and now schoolroom maid, the melancholy preparations were +made in time to allow the party to catch the three o'clock train from +Victoria. + +To secure a carriage in which they could travel alone and be able to +talk as they pleased was the ambition of the four elders, and while Miss +Bruce was busily looking after the luggage, they took possession of a +corridor coupe, slammed the door, and blocked the window with determined +faces, though deep in each heart lurked the conviction that Miss Bruce's +morbidly acute conscience would feel it her duty to interfere. + +"Nix for the Spider!" hissed Gurth, prising a hockey-stick against the +handle of the door the while he gazed with elaborate calm at a poster on +the station wall. It was inevitable that a person named Bruce should be +given the nickname of "Spider" by young people who disdained correct +appellations as heartily as did the Saxons, and, indeed, the busy little +black figure darting to and fro on the platform might have been much +less aptly named. She hustled the twins and Nannie into a carriage, +turned her head to look for her elder pupils, and, upon realising the +position, reared her head with the fighting gesture which they knew so +well. For a moment, as she stood facing the coupe window, it seemed +absolutely certain that she would insist upon joining the party, and so +spoiling sport for the whole of the journey, but even as she looked her +expression altered, a flicker of something--what was it?--affection, +sympathy, pity passed over her face, she turned without a word, entered +the carriage wherein the twins were seated, and disappeared from sight. + +The plot had succeeded, but their success had left the conspirators dumb +with wonder and surprise. + +"I say! what's taken her all of a sudden?" ejaculated Gurth. Hereward +whistled loudly, while Dreda, ever the prey of her emotions, began to +flush and quiver beneath the prickings of remorse. + +"Oh, poor dear! Oh, she _saw_! She saw we didn't want her! What +brutes we are! Gurth, go!--go quickly, before the train starts, and +tell her to come in here at once!" + +"Not I! What a turncoat you are, Dreda! Of course she saw! We _meant_ +her to see. You were the worst of the lot, scowling as if she were an +ogre. Don't be a little sneak!" + +"Not a sneak!" protested Dreda, hotly. "S'pose I did. I can be sorry, +can't I? She looked so--_sick_! It made me feel mean." + +"All right! Go in to the other carriage, then, and suck up! We don't +want her here, but there's room for you in there, if you like to change! +Say the word! We are off in a minute!" + +Etheldreda blushed, shuffled, and tossed her pigtail, but made not the +slightest attempt to move from her place, whereat her brothers and +sister chuckled with easy amusement. + + "Oh, Dreda, in our hours of ease, + Uncertain, coy, and hard to please, + And variable as the shade + By the light thingummy aspen made. + When pain and anguish wring the brow, + She nothing does, but makes a row." + +The mutilated lines were the contributions of the two schoolboys, while +Rowena looked down her nose once more, and dismissed the subject in a +few scathing remarks. + +"You might realise by this time that Dreda's sentiments have not the +smallest influence on her actions! The Spider was evidently suffering +from a spasm of repentance. Quite time, too! She has made herself most +objectionable the last few days, sighing and groaning about the house, +and looking as if her heart were broken. If _we_ can stand breaking our +engagements and giving up all the fun of the holidays, I don't see why +she need grumble. But she is always like that--unsympathetic and +absorbed in herself. It's a mystery to me, for what has she got to be +absorbed in? To be old, and ugly, and poor, and to have no home or any +people that count--there can't possibly be any personal interest in +life! Her only hope would be to live for others, and of that, poor +dear, she is incapable!" + +Rowena folded her hands on her lap, turned her well-cut profile to the +window, and sighed in an elderly, forbearing fashion, at which the two +boys grinned broadly, while impetuous Dreda burst once more into speech. + +"Rowena, I _hate_ you when you talk like that! Don't be so self- +righteous and horrid! It's not for you to criticise other people. The +Spider is not a patch on you for selfishness, and if she has a poor time +of it, that's all the more reason why you should be charitable, and try +to cheer her up. You'll be old yourself some day, and ugly too! Fair +people always fade soonest. I read that in the toilette column of a +magazine, so it's true, and I shouldn't wonder if you grew nut-crackery, +too. Your nose is rather beaky even now. You needn't be so proud!" + +Rowena turned her head to look round the carriage with a gently tolerant +smile. + +"Our dear Dreda teaches us a lesson in charity, does she not?" she +demanded blandly. That was all the response she deigned to make, but it +was enough to reduce her sister to a crimson confusion, and to rouse +Gurth to impatient anger. + +"Oh, leave off nagging, you two!" he cried loudly. "If you don't drop +it, I'll be off into a smoker at the first stop. Fight it out to-night +when you are alone, if you can't agree; but let us off when we are caged +up in the same pen. Here! Let's have a game of `Roadside cribbage.' +Bags I the left side! Now then, Dreda, I choose you first. Hereward +can take Rowena. Buck up! We have got to win this time." + +Etheldreda shot a glance of gratitude from the grey eyes which were such +eloquent exponents of her thoughts. To be so championed by Gurth was +worth far more than the temporary suffering inflicted by Rowena's sharp +tongue, and she set herself valiantly to be worthy of his choice. +"Roadside cribbage" was a game patronised for years by the Saxon family +on their railway journeys, and consisted merely in dividing forces, +staring steadily out of opposite windows, and scoring for the various +objects perceived, according to a quaint but well understood method. +Thus, a bridge over a river counted as five marks; a quarry, ten; a +windmill, twenty; a fire, fifty; a motor car, minus one; while the +ubiquitous bicycle was worth only three per dozen. These, and other +objects too numerous to repeat, mounted but slowly towards the grand +total of a hundred, but there remained one--just one rare chance of +winning success at a stroke, for the competitor who had the luck to spy +a cat looking out of a window might cry, "Game!" on the instant, even if +he had not so far scored a single point. It can easily be understood +that the best chances of spotting this valuable spectacle came as the +train slackened steam before entering a station. Then, as one regarded +the backs of dreary tenement houses, it really seemed inevitable that +some household cat should wish to take the air, or to regard the world +from the vantage of dusty, unwashed sills! Inevitable, yet with the +perversity of cat nature, it was extraordinary how seldom this all-to- +be-desired vision burst upon the view. "It's not fair!" Rowena cried. +"You have all the poor houses on your side, and poor houses have always +more cats than rich ones. A cat for every floor. We ought to change +sides between every station, like cricket!" + +"Fudge! You've got the open country. Look out for pigs and quarries... +We've had no luck with cats for the last three journeys. On the whole, +I think yours is the best side." + +"Why didn't you choose it yourself, then?" + +"Charity!" answered Gurth, shortly, with a twinkling glance at his +partner, who happened to be at the same time his favourite sister, +despite her many and obvious faults. If he had been asked to describe +Dreda's character, he would have said in his easy schoolboy language +that she was a bit of a sham, perhaps, but then all girls were shams +more or less, and if you kept her off high falutin', she was a decent +sort, and always ready to do a fellow a good turn. + +It was sad to note that even when speaking of his favourite sister, +Gurth should have felt it necessary to adopt this tone of patronage, but +even the stoutest champion of girls cannot but admit that the sense of +honour is in them less developed than in boys, and that in moments of +irritation they betray a petty spite, of which the more brutal male is +incapable. Gurth was conscious that he had faults of his own, but he +regarded them leniently as being on an altogether different level from +those of his sisters. He was a bit of a slacker, perhaps, but most +"men" were slackers, and yet pulled through all right by means of a +spurt at the end. His chiefs called him obstinate, but a fellow had to +know his own mind if he were to get on in the world, and he jolly well +knew that he was right as often as not Masters were awful muffs. On the +other hand, he hated gush like poison, and was invariably a hundred +times better than his word, whereas Dreda could hold forth as eloquently +as a parson, with the tears pouring down her cheeks, and her figure +trembling with emotion, and the next day forget the very cause of her +emotion! The girl was like a fire of shavings, quickly lighted, quickly +extinguished, and probably the greatest punishment which she could have +sustained would have been compelled to carry on one of her many +philanthropic schemes to a deliberate conclusion. + +They were all stored up in the family archives--the histories of Dreda's +charitable enterprises! The factory girl to whom she was going to write +regularly every week, and whose address was lost in a fortnight--the +collecting cards beyond number, for which, in the first ardour of +possession, subscriptions were extorted from every member of the +household, and which were rescued from stray hiding-places at the last +possible moment and despatched with odd offerings of twopences and +threepences from "A Friend" scribbled in, to fill up the empty spaces. +Everyone understood that the "friend" was Dreda herself, and that she +might be expected to be correspondingly short in tuck money for some +time to come! Never a society did Dreda hear of but she panted to +become a member on the spot, and never a society but received her +resignation, accompanied by a goodly sum in fines, before six months had +run their course. + +Closeted with parent and teachers, the girl received numberless lectures +on the dangers of a thoughtless and unstable character, and was moved to +ardent vows of repentance; but, alone with Maud, her confidante and +admirer, she was wont to cast a kindly glamour of romance over her own +delinquencies. "It's my heart," she would sigh pathetically. "My heart +is so sensitive. It's like an Aeolian harp, Maud, upon which every +passing breeze plays its melody. I'm a creature of sensibility!" And +she rolled her fine eyes to the ceiling, the while Maud snorted, being +afflicted with adenoids, and wrinkled her brows in the effort to put her +fingers on the weak spot in the argument, the which she felt, but had +difficulty in explaining. + +"Your heart is hard enough at times!" she said at last. "I suppose the +strings get so thin with being everlastingly twanged that they break, +and then the breeze can moan as much as it likes without waking a sound. +When you let that poor little puppy lie for two days without any food, +for instance--" + +"You're a beast!" retorted Dreda with fervour. "You don't understand. +No one does. I'm misunderstood all round. At any rate I'd rather reach +the hilltops sometimes than everlastingly crawl along in the mire, like +_some_ people I can mention. It's better to have soared and fallen than +never to have soared at all!" + +Dreda, like most of us, was tender towards her own failings, and +resented the criticism of her peers. This afternoon she kept her eyes +glued upon the landscape, affecting to be ignorant of Gurth's sly hit, +and presently it was balm to her wounded spirit to be able to win the +game for herself and her partner, and with a squeal of triumph to point +to an upper window in a row of tenement houses, where two erect ears and +a pair of yellow eyes could be clearly discerned over the edge of a +wooden box filled with miniature fir trees of funereal aspect. + +The game was over, and with it had disappeared all disposition to +quarrel. Henceforward, to the end of the journey, the four young people +chatted amicably together, discussing various subjects of interest, but +invariably returning to the one absorbing question of the hour--what +could have happened to account for the hasty and mysterious summons to +the solitary home in the country at a time when all their interests and +pleasures were centred in town? + + + +CHAPTER TWO. + +Mr and Mrs Saxon welcomed their children on the threshold of their +country home, but a chill seemed to settle on the young people's spirits +as they entered the great square hall, which looked so colourless and +dreary. As a rule, The Meads was inhabited during the summer months +alone, and the children were accustomed to see it alight with sunshine, +with doors and windows thrown wide open to show vistas of flower gardens +and soft green lawns. In such weather, a house was apt to be regarded +merely as a place to sleep in, but now that it would be necessary to +spend a great part of the day indoors, it was regarded more critically, +and found far from attractive. + +The Meads was one of those square, uncompromisingly ugly white houses +which are so often to be found in rural England, and which were built at +that architecturally unhappy period when old traditions had been cast +aside and the modern craze for art was as yet undeveloped. There were +plenty of rooms in the house, lofty and spacious enough, but as to +outline just so many boxes, with four straight walls, and never a niche +or an alcove to break the severity of line. The hall was another +square, and the staircase ascended straightly to the first landing, +where a monstrosity of a stained-glass window lighted the long corridors +beyond. + +The furniture was of the same calibre as the house, for, The Meads +having been regarded more as a convenient dumping-ground for the +children in the summer holidays than as a formal residence, everything +that was shabby, injured, or out of date had been weeded from the +beautiful town mansion and drafted down to fill up the big square rooms. +Mr Saxon had a shooting-box in Scotland in which he was wont to spend +the autumn months, Mrs Saxon had a passion for travelling, and could +not understand the joy of spending every summer in the same house. The +Meads was large, healthy, and convenient, so that while the children +were young it had filled a real need, but there was no denying that, +regarded as a winter residence, it bore a somewhat chilling aspect. +Gurth looked round the hall with eyes very wide open and nose screwed up +in eloquent disapproval. + +"I say! don't it look different, just, without the sun? Regular old +grim hole of a place, ain't it? Like an institution, or a hospital, or +something of the kind--not a bit like home--" + +"Oh, Gurth, don't," cried his mother quickly, while her forehead +corrugated with lines as of actual physical pain. "Dear, you are cold +and tired after your journey. Things always look dull when one is +tired. Come into the library, all of you! There's a glorious fire, and +you shall have tea at once." She slid her hand into her eldest +daughter's arm, looking with fond admiration at the fair, delicately cut +profile. "You have had a happy time in town this last week--since we +left?" + +Rowena turned her tall head, and looked down upon her mother with the +air of a young goddess, offended, yet resolutely self-restrained. Mrs +Saxon was a medium-sized woman, but she looked small beside the tall +slenderness of the young daughter who held herself so loftily erect. +"Mother!" cried Rowena, in a deep tone of remonstrance, "it's the +Vincents' dance to-morrow! I was looking forward to it more than +anything else. Lots of grown-up people are going--it would have been +almost like coming out. I never thought you would have brought me away +from town the very day before _that_. You knew how I should feel--" + +"Darling, I'm sorry, more sorry than I can say, but it was necessary. +As things are, it is better that you should not go. I'll explain--we +will explain. You shall hear all about it later, but first we must have +tea. I think we shall all feel better after tea." + +Mrs Saxon looked from one to another of her children with the same +strained, unnatural smile which had greeted them a few minutes before, +and Gurth and Dreda, falling behind the rest, rolled expressive eyes and +whispered low forebodings. + +"Something up! I thought as much. What can it be?" + +"Don't know. Something horrid, evidently. In the holidays, too. What +a sell!" + +Miss Bruce had considerately disappeared, and the parents and children +were left alone in the big bare library, with its rows of fusty, out-of- +date books in early Victorian mahogany bookcases, its three long windows +draped in crimson red curtains, its Indian carpet worn by the tramp of +many feet. A cheerful fire blazed in the grate, however, and the tea +equipage set out on the long table was sufficiently tempting to raise +the spirits of the travellers. It was a real old-fashioned sit-down +tea, where one was not expected to balance a cup and plate on one's knee +and yet refrain from spilling tea or scattering crumbs on the carpet. +Girls and boys arranged themselves in their usual places with sighs of +relief and satisfaction, and, disdaining bread-and-butter, helped +themselves energetically to the richest cake on the table. It was a +family custom with the Saxons to begin on cake and work steadily back to +bread and butter. There had been some opposition to encounter from +conservative elders before this reversal of the ordinary programme had +been sanctioned, but the arguments advanced had been too strong to +resist. + +"I can 'preciate things more when I'm hungry. Cake's the best thing; +why need I stodge on bread and butter till I can't properly 'preciate +the cake? Why can't I stodge on cake, and eat the bread when I don't +'preciate? It doesn't matter about bread!" + +So ran the thread of Harold's arguments, and it must be confessed that +there was reason therein. To-day, as the young people satisfied their +first pangs of hunger on iced cake, the parents watching them exchanged +a piteous glance, for the proceeding seemed so sadly typical of the +secret that was about to be divulged! Until this day, all that was +richest and best in life had been the everyday possession of these loved +and fortunate children--after to-day, the love would continue unchanged, +but the luxuries must come to an end. + +The meal was unusually silent, both Mr and Mrs Saxon and the elder +boys and girls being too much oppressed by their own feelings to be able +to indulge in ordinary light conversation; only Harold and Maud remained +unconscious of the cloud in the atmosphere, and everyone was thankful +for their artless prattle, which filled up what would otherwise have +been a painful silence. As for the twins, they were quite elated to +find so attentive an audience, for as a rule their attempts to enter the +conversation were severely nipped in the bud. "That's enough, thank +you!" Rowena would say in her most lofty manner. "Shut up, you kids. +A fellow can't hear himself speak for your row!" Gurth would call out +fiercely. Even when Mrs Saxon was present she would shake her head +gently across the table, to enforce the oft-repeated axiom that in so +large a family the younger members must perforce learn to be quiet at +table. Maud beamed with pleasure at being allowed to continue her +never-ending descriptions without a word of remonstrance. She was a +fair, pretty, somewhat stupid child, gifted with an overflow of words, +which were, however, singularly incapable of conveying any definite +impression. Observation she possessed in abundance, but her discursive +narratives were by no means improved by being weighted by a plethora of +useless detail. One could listen to Maud's efforts to describe her own +doings for half an hour on end, and remain almost as much in the dark as +at the beginning! On the present occasion she was full of excitement +about a wonderful conjurer whose tricks she had witnessed at a +children's party in town three nights before, and which she was anxious +to enumerate for the benefit of the family. + +"...He was the most egg-strawdinary creature you ever saw. He did the +most egg-strawdinary things. I'll tell you what he did... You know the +Westons' drawing-room? You go upstairs--crimson carpets, and such wide +brass rods. Then there's a statue holding up a lamp, and the first +door's the drawing-room. All the doors were taken down to make more +room, and there were rows and rows of forms... He was like a Frenchman +with a pointed moustache, but his clothes weren't very clean... He +rolled up his sleeves, and there was a ring on his finger, and yards and +yards of ribbon came out of his thumb. He had a little table in front +of him with bulgy legs. It stands in the corner with silver on it. +Then he asked a boy in the front row for a watch... Mr Weston said he +wouldn't have lent _his_, but he got it back all right. It was egg- +strawdinary! Meta Rawlins sat by me. She had a pink sash. She says +her father can do it a little bit, only of course not as well as this +one. Then there was an egg. If he had broken it, it _would_ have made +a mess on the carpet! Meta said perhaps it was stone. He talked all +the time, so funny and quick, and one of his front teeth was out. He +asked if any boy or girl would go up to help him, and Brian Hackett +went. He looked so silly. He had to hold things in his hand, and when +he asked for them, they weren't there. It was egg-strawdinary! We had +supper in the dining-room, jellies and cream, and presents in the +trifle. I saw the conjurer having his in the library. I never saw +anything so egg-strawdinary in all my life!" + +Gurth and Hereward exchanged expressive glances, Rowena frowned +impatience, Mrs Saxon smiled a faint amusement, and Maud continued to +prattle on, blissfully unconscious of the fact that no one troubled to +listen. + +It was after everyone had been fed and refreshed that the explanation of +the mysterious summons from town was given, in response to an outspoken +question from Dreda, whose impetuous nature was ever impatient of +suspense. + +"Mother, what has happened? There must be something, or you would never +have left town and sent for us in such a hurry. Can't you tell us now? +It's something horrid, of course! And it's horrid waiting for horrid +things." + +Dreda put both elbows on the table, in flagrant disregard of schoolroom +rules, and leant her charming, eager face in the cup of her hands. She +might describe her state of mind as "horrid," but an appearance more +opposed to such a description it would be impossible to imagine. Dreda +had been hungry, and her hunger was satisfied; she had been cold and +tired, now she was warmed and refreshed; she talked vaguely of horrible +things, but nothing approaching real fear had as yet entered her heart. +Grown-ups made such a fuss about trifles. Probably it was something +quite silly and unimportant after all. + +Mrs Saxon did not answer. She looked down at her hands and twisted the +rings on her fingers, the while her husband took upon himself the burden +of explanation. + +"Yes, Dreda, we wish to speak out plainly. As far as possible we have +always taken our children into our confidence, and now we must all try +to strengthen each other, for a great change is before us. It must +affect us all... I have lost money--a great deal of money. I am no +longer a rich man. Your mother and I came down here to face the +situation quietly, and to think out our plans. We wished to be by +ourselves for a few days before saying anything to you." + +"Oh-h. Is that it? Poor father! What a shame!" + +"What a beastly fag! How did it happen, Pater?" + +"Poor old father! Yes! I _quite_ understand." + +They spoke together with impetuous warmth, Gurth, Hereward, and +Etheldreda, but, in spite of their words, none of them understood in the +least. Maud and Harold stared open-mouthed. Only Rowena turned white, +and pressed her lips nervously together. + +"Thank you, dears. I knew you would sympathise, but our grief is on +your account more than on our own. If you can bear the change bravely, +our worst fears will be allayed. It will be a big change. To begin +with, I have let the town house. An offer came to take it furnished on +a lease, and I dared not refuse. The Meads will now be our settled +home." + +Silence... One definite statement has more effect than a dozen vague +forebodings, and the young people sat stunned with dismay, while the +thoughts of each wandered away on a voyage of personal reflections. + +"No town house! No season! Shut up here all the year round, just as I +was coming out, and expecting to have such a lovely time." + +"Let the house! Whew! Things must be precious bad ... Suppose, after +all, the Governor can't afford to send me to the army!" + +"Here's a pretty go! The house doesn't matter. The country knocks town +into fits any day, but it will be a beastly fag if we have to cut things +down fine. What about the horses?" + +"Poor father. Oh, dear, how awful mother looks! Rowena is a brute to +look so cross. P'raps the Spider will have to go, and I shall be +finished, and done with lessons. Topping!" + +"Bateson's father lost his money and he went to sea. I wonder if they'd +let me!" + +"I've got five pounds six in the bank. I'll draw it out, and give it to +them to help. That would last for mumfs and mumfs." + +Mrs Saxon lifted her sad eyes and glanced wistfully round the table. +When she herself had first heard the news she had been stunned into +silence; she hardly expected words, but her mother's heart yearned for a +glance of sympathy and love. The boys, as is the habit of boys, were +rendered awkward and uncomfortable by the atmosphere of emotion, and +stared stolidly at their plates. Rowena sat like a frozen statue of +misery, Maud gaped blankly from one face to another; only Dreda was +ready and waiting with her sunny smile and her easy flow of sympathy. + +"Darling! Of course we'll be brave! Don't worry about us. Everyone +says money doesn't matter a bit. You can be perfectly happy without +it... Perfectly sickening for you and father, down here by yourselves +with all that worry. You must have been bored!" + +Bored! The utter inadequacy of the word brought a smile to the parents' +eyes, but the kindly warmth of voice and manner was as balm to their +sore hearts. What though Dreda's conduct belied her words time and +again, her impetuous kindliness of heart was for the moment infinitely +soothing, and a blessed contrast to Rowena's gloom. Both parents smiled +lovingly upon her, and Dreda glowed with satisfaction. Really, being +ruined was quite exciting and dramatic! + +"Thank you, Dreda," said her father, gratefully. "These have been very +sad days for us, as you say, and even yet we are feeling rather stunned +by the suddenness of this trouble, and have not been able to think out +definite plans for your future. It was necessary to tell you the bare +fact, but you must be patient and forbear from questioning for a few +days. We shall not keep you in suspense longer than is necessary." + +Suspense! Six pairs of ears pricked uneasily at the sound of that word; +six hearers seemed to hear in it the knell of a cherished hope. Even +Dreda was awed into silence. The "horrid things" were evidently not yet +finished. What was going to happen next? + + + +CHAPTER THREE. + +In the schoolroom the young people flocked together, eager to discuss +the news apart from the restraint of their parents' presence. Round the +great fireplace stood one of those delightful fenders whose top is +formed by a wide-cushioned seat. Hereward pulled it forcibly back, with +a fine disregard of cinders, until it was sufficiently distant from the +blaze to be comfortable, when the six young people seated themselves and +prepared to talk in comfort. They made a pretty picture as the leaping +flame lighted up their fair blond faces, but for the moment the general +expression was far from cheerful. The twins were all eyes and gaping +mouths, devoured with curiosity to hear what their elders might have to +say with regard to the thrilling intelligence just given; the two +schoolboys looked cross and thundery, and it was difficult to say which +was the more exasperating to beholders--Rowena's angry frown or Dreda's +artificial smiles. + +Gurth stamped a smoking cinder into the hearthrug, taking a malicious +pleasure in the scorch and smell which ensued. He was never too +patient, and this afternoon he felt that he had reached the end of his +tether. + +"Oh, chuck it, Rowena!" he cried savagely. "What's the use of sitting +there looking like a tragedy queen? A jolly example _you_ set, for the +eldest of a family. You look as if the whole thing was got up on +purpose to annoy you, and nobody had a right to be pitied except your +precious self. I don't see it a bit! I think you come off best of all. +Your education is finished, so you're bound to be all right!" + +"Education!" echoed Rowena, in the tone of ineffable scorn natural to a +young woman who for months past had been basking in the prospect of a +presentation at court. "Education, indeed! Who cares for education? +If it _is_ finished, what has it all been intended for, pray? To +prepare me for a life which I am not to have! Other girls have the best +time of their lives when they come out. They are taken about to see +everything and do everything which they have longed for all the time +they have been shut up at school. It's no wonder I feel bad at coming +home to find I have only escaped one prison for another. To live here +all the year long! What a prospect! There isn't a decent neighbour +nearer than five miles.--If this could only have happened a year or two +later, after I had had a _little_ fun!" + +"Rowena, how selfish! You think only of yourself, and not a bit of +anyone else--father or mother, or the boys, or--or Me!" cried Dreda, +smiting herself on the breast with dramatic _empressement_ as she +uttered the last all-important word. "It won't be a bit easier for me +when the time comes, but I do _hope_ and _believe_ that I shall bear it +bravely, and try to be an example to the rest. It's our duty, you know, +as the eldest daughters of the house!" + +"Oh, Dreda, _stop_ preaching! It's too ridiculous. _You_ to lecture +me! For that matter, you need not wait until you are finished to set me +an example. You can begin this very minute, for I don't believe for a +moment that father will be able to afford to send you to Madame Clerc's. +It's a frightfully expensive school, and he used to grumble at the way +my extras ran up, even before, when he was rich. I expect you will have +to finish at home with the Spider, and then she will go, and you will +have to set to work to teach Maud!" + +"I shan't!" shrieked Dreda, and flamed a sudden violent red. + +"She shan't!" shrieked Maud, at one and the same moment, her fair, +placid face flushing to the same crimson hue. + +They faced each other like two infuriated turkey cocks--heads erect, +feathers ruffled, bodies swaying to and fro with indignation. + +"As if I should!" + +"As if I'd let you!" + +"Teach her!" + +"Teach me!" + +"The very idea!" + +"I'm 'stonished you should talk such nonsense, Rowena!" + +Rowena laughed softly. It was the first time she had unbent since the +telling of the dread news. She put her head on one side and stared at +Dreda's furious face with an "I told you so!" expression which that +young lady found infinitely exasperating. + +"Our dear Dreda, as usual, finds preaching easier than practice. You +see, my dear, when it comes to the point, you are not a bit more +resigned than I am myself. It's worse for me to give up all the fun of +my first season than for you to stay at home instead of going to school; +the only difference is that I have sense enough to realise what is +before me, while you are so taken up with sentiment and--" + +"Oh, shut up, girls! Stop wrangling, for pity's sake!" cried Hereward, +impatiently. "Things are bad enough as they are, without making them +worse. If you are going to nag, we'll go downstairs and leave you to +yourselves. It's such bad form to kick up a fuss; but girls are all +alike. You wouldn't find a boy going on like that--" + +Rowena turned upon him with wide, challenging eyes. + +"Wouldn't I? Are you so sure? Suppose father were to tell you to- +morrow that you couldn't be a soldier, but must go into an office and +try to earn money for yourself... Suppose he took you away from Eton, +Gurth, and sent you to a cheap school! How would you like that?" + +Silence... The two lads sat staring into the fire with dogged faces. +They scorned to cry aloud, but the horror of the prospect had for a +moment a so paralysing effect that they could not reply. Leave +Sandhurst in the middle of one's course, and become--a _clerk_! Leave +Eton and the fellows, and go to one of those miserable, second-rate +shows which all good Etonians regarded with ineffable contempt! Was it +possible to suffer such degradation and live? + +Rowena was touched to compunction by the sight of the stricken faces, +for though at the moment the worst side of her character was in the +ascendant, she was by no means hard-hearted, and, moreover, Hereward was +her especial friend and companion. She laughed again, and gave an +impatient shrug to her shoulders. + +"Oh, don't be afraid ... He never _will_! Whatever happens, nothing +will be allowed to interfere with `the boys' and their careers! We +shall all pinch and screw and live on twopence-halfpenny a week, so as +to be able to pay your bills. It's always the same story. Everything +is sacrificed for the sons." + +"Quite right, too," maintained the eldest son, stoutly. "How are you +going to keep up the honour of a family if you don't give the boys a +chance? It doesn't matter a fig whether a girl is educated or not, so +long as she can read and write. She'll marry, of course, and then she +has nothing to do but add up the bills." + +At this truly masculine distinction, Rowena and Dreda tossed scornful +heads and rolled indignant eyes to the ceiling. + +"I shall never marry!" announced the former, thinking ruefully of the +bare countryside, with never a house of consequence within a radius of +miles ... "I am a suffragette. I believe in the high, lofty mission of +women!" cried the second, who had been converted to the movement the day +before by the sight of some sketches in the _Daily Graphic_. Only nine- +year-old Maud sniffed, and opined, "I shall marry a lord! Then he'll +have lots of money, and I'll give it to father, and we'll live happily +ever after." + +Poor Maud! Her millennium was not to begin just yet, at least; for +Nannie, her immaculate but austere attendant, rapped at the door at that +moment, and summoned her nursling to be bathed and put to bed. Maud was +every evening enraged afresh at being called at such a ridiculously +early hour, and to-night her annoyance was increased by the fact that +she was torn ruthlessly from the rare treat of a conference with her +elders, in which she had really been and truly on the level of a "grown- +up." She fumed with anger, but presently consolation came with the idea +of a dramatic disclosure upstairs. She waited until she and her +attendant were alone together in the bedroom, and then sprung the bolt +in her most impressive fashion. + +"Nannie, we're ruined!" + +"Indeed, miss. Sorry to hear it, I'm sure," returned Nannie, +unperturbed. It is safe to predict that any important family news will +be known as soon in the servants' hall as in the drawing-room, and +Nannie had the air of listening to a very stale piece of information. + +Maud was distinctly disappointed, but nerved herself for fresh efforts. +"Yes. Bankrup'! There's nothing left. I'm going to give up all my +savings. What will you do, Nannie--leave?" + +"I shall be pleased to stay on, miss, as long as your mother can afford +to give me my wages and a nursery maid." + +"Oh, Nannie, how _mean_! The Pharisees likewise do as much as that! In +storybooks the nurses always stay on, whether they are ruined or not, +and give their money to help. You _are_ mean!" + +"No impertinence, please," said Nannie sharply. She was just beginning +to comb out Maud's hair, and it was astonishing how many knots there +appeared to be that evening. "I'm sorry I spoke," reflected poor Maud. + + + +CHAPTER FOUR. + +In the next week future plans were practically settled so far as the +young people were concerned. Rowena had been right in her surmise about +the boys, for, like most fathers, Mr Saxon was prepared to retrench in +any and every direction rather than interfere with the education of his +sons. It was a family tradition that the eldest son should go into the +army; therefore, at all costs, Hereward must continue that tradition. +The Saxons had for generations been Eton boys, therefore it was +impossible that Gurth could attend another school. As to the girls-- +well, Mr Saxon dearly loved his three daughters, and was proud of their +grace and beauty, but in effect he held much the same ideas with regard +to their education as those which Hereward had expounded to his sisters' +indignation. He thought it quite unnecessary to spend large sums on +schooling for girls, and for his own part frankly preferred a woman who +had no pretensions to being a blue-stocking. + +The boys received the intelligence with a complacent sense that all was +as it should be, and the one great anxiety being relieved, were disposed +to make light of minor privations. What though the manner of living at +home must necessarily be less luxurious than of yore, holidays occupied, +after all, a small portion of the year, and in a few years' time they +would be launching out for themselves. Hereward had an ambition to join +an Indian regiment. Gurth was destined for the Civil Service. The +Meads would be quite a good old place in which to spend an occasional +furlough. But the girls! The girls were by no means reconciled to +being sacrificed on the altar of masculine ambition. When the programme +for their own future was announced by the nervously anxious mother, +Rowena, Etheldreda, and Maud were alike consumed with indignation and +dismay. They could hardly believe the evidence of their own ears as +they listened to her words: + +"Father thought I had better have a little talk with you, dear girls, +and explain to you what we have decided about your future. It has been +a difficult question--very difficult, and we have had to face +alterations which we would thankfully have avoided, for in the end it +simply comes down to the bare question of what we can or cannot afford. +The boys' education is unfortunately very costly, and those expenses +cannot be reduced." + +"Why?" demanded Dreda. The crisp, sharp question cut like a lash across +Mrs Saxon's soft-toned explanation, and she started, and faced her +young daughter with a shrinking almost of dismay. Perhaps in her heart +of hearts she, too, doubted the justice of the masculine mandate that +girls should invariably be sacrificed for boys, but she was too loyal to +admit any dissension when her husband had laid down his commands. + +"Why, Dreda?" she repeated, gently. "Because the boys have their way to +make in the world ... If we have not much money to leave them, we must +at least give them every chance of success. Their education will be +their capital." + +"An officer in the army needs a large private allowance. Father has +always said so. Hereward will need to be helped all his life, instead +of being able to help the family as an eldest son should do ... He +could go into business." + +"Oh, Dreda dear! You, who are so sympathetic and kind-hearted. Think +of the terrible disappointment! There always has been a soldier in the +family." + +"The family has always been rich. Of course I don't want him to be +disappointed. I don't want _anyone_ to be disappointed," declared Dreda +with an emphasis which brought the colour into her mother's thin cheeks. +"I suppose I can go to Madame Clerc's at Easter, just the same?" + +"I--I am afraid ... Madame Clerc's is a very expensive school, darling. +I am afraid it is out of the question! We will do all we can for you. +That is one of the principal things which we have had on our minds the +last week, and I trust--I believe we have made satisfactory +arrangements. Miss Bruce does not feel able to give you finishing +lessons, but Mrs Webster, of Swithin, tells me that she is quite +satisfied with the school to which she has sent her three daughters. +The education is all that could be desired, and the fees much more +moderate than Madame Clerc's. We should see more of you, too, darling, +for you would be able to come home for the exeats in the middle of the +term--" + +"Mother! What are you saying? You can't possibly be in earnest. +Please, please don't frighten me! It's a hateful school. I have always +looked down upon it and detested it, and thanked goodness _I_ should +never have to go to it!" + +Dreda's face was aflame with colour; her eyes had widened until they +looked about twice their natural size, in her voice there sounded a +quiver of so real a distress that the mother flushed painfully in +response. + +"Dear! why be so prejudiced? It may not be so fashionable a school as +Madame Clerc's, but it is admirable in every way, and you will meet +friends there whom you already know--the Websters..." + +"Know them! We don't! We have met now and then, but we always +determine not to know them. We christened them `The Currant Buns,' and +hated them from the first moment. Round, white faces and little +curranty eyes!" + +"Dreda! Dreda! What has appearance to do with it? You confess +yourself that you are prejudiced, so you cannot possibly judge... They +are said to be clever and industrious, and exceptionally well brought +up, but there will be other girls, plenty of other girls from whom to +choose friends." + +"It is settled, then? Really _settled_. You have seen the mistress?" + +"Yes, dear, it is settled. You are to begin work at the beginning of +the term. The Websters are delighted to think of having you as a +companion." + +Dreda flung out her arms with a gesture of passionate despair, stood for +a moment confronting her mother with flashing eyes and quivering lips, +then suddenly wheeled round, and rushed headlong from the room. + +Her first overwhelming impulse was to get out into the air. The house +suffocated her, and besides, she was going to do something ... something +desperate ... and there was no scope indoors. She thought of the lake, +lying dull and grey within its reedy bank, and saw a vision of herself +floating on the surface, with her unbound hair streaming round her face. +In the Academy a year before she had been much attracted by a picture +of the dead Elaine, and her own hair was exactly the same shade... But +it was wicked to commit suicide, and, miserable though she was, life +held too many attractions to be lightly abandoned. She would just run +away into the darkness and the silence, with her sore, sore heart--to +commune with nature, and face the future alone with her own soul! Dreda +sobbed aloud at the pathos of the thought, and, racing down the passage, +threw open the side door leading into the garden. + +A gust of wind blew into her face, a dash of cold sleety rain. The sky +was inky black, so black that it was impossible to distinguish even the +outline of the trees: the air was soaking with moisture. To one longing +for darkness and loneliness, the prospect should have been all that +could be desired; yet Dreda drew back shuddering, and shut the door with +a hasty hand. It was wet. She hated to get wet, yet she could not take +an umbrella. When your heart was breaking, and you were face to face +with one of the tragic moments of life, to walk abroad sheltered by an +umbrella was too calm and commonplace a proceeding to be contemplated +for a moment! Dreda decided that on the whole it would be better to do +her wrestling in her own room; but the noise of the opening and shutting +of the door had attracted attention, and as she slowly retraced her +steps the pantry door opened, and Martin the parlourmaid thrust her head +inquiringly outward. + +Martin was a pleasant middle-aged woman, an old retainer in the family, +and the pantry at The Meads was quite a good-sized room, and a +comfortable one at that, boasting a fireplace in which blazed the +cheeriest of fires, for Martin was fond of comfort, and took a pride in +keeping her domain spick and span. Her face brightened as she saw the +girl standing in the passage, for Dreda was a favourite with all the +servants. Miss Rowena, they agreed, was "high;" but Miss Dreda was +"feelin'." + +"Very feelin' was Miss Dreda!" She was always sorry for you, and wanted +to help. They bore her no grudge because the "wanting" frequently went +no farther than words. She was but young. Young things did forget. It +was entered to her abiding credit that she was "feelin'." + +This afternoon one glimpse at the flushed, excited face was sufficient +to show that the girl herself was in trouble, and Martin threw open the +door to show the hospitable glow of the fire. + +"Miss Dreda! Was that you standing by that door in the cold? You'll be +catching cold; that's what you'll be doing! I'm having a snack of cocoa +and buttered toast. Come in and have a bite by the fire." + +Dreda hesitated. Buttered toast was incongruous--painfully incongruous; +for among the other desperate resolutions which had rushed through her +brain, a slow, determined starvation had held a foremost place. She +would turn with a sick distaste from the pleasures of the table; would +eat only the plainest of viands, and of them barely enough to keep +herself in life. She would grow thin and hollow-eyed, and her parents, +looking on, would repent their cruelty in sackcloth and ashes. But--the +buttered toast smelt wonderfully good! + +"I'll come in and warm myself, but--I'm not hungry," said Dreda, +hesitating. But Martin did not appear to have heard. As her young +mistress seated herself by the fire, a stool was quietly placed by her +side, and on the stool appeared, as if by magic, a plate of toast and a +cup of cocoa. + +Dreda's hand stretched out involuntarily; she ate and drank, and +reflected that, after all, as her father had lost money so unexpectedly, +it was only reasonable to suppose that he would recover it in a manner +equally rapid. She was sorry she had been cross. She would never be +cross any more. In the recovered days of prosperity it would be so +pleasant to remember how nobly she had borne herself in the hour of +trial! + + + +CHAPTER FIVE. + +Meantime in the schoolroom upstairs another blow had fallen, and Rowena +was quivering beneath the shock of discovering that in Miss Bruce's +absence it was she and not Etheldreda who was expected to carry on +Maud's education. + +"I am sure you will be a conscientious teacher, dear; and I hope that +the regular occupation, and the consciousness that you are being of real +use will make life brighter for you. Maud will promise to be an +industrious pupil, won't you, darling?" + +Maud eyed Rowena's tragic countenance, and felt it wise to refrain from +rash protestations. She was longing to rush after Dreda to declaim +against this last injustice, and as her mother continued to address +herself pointedly to Rowena, taking no more notice of her own important +presence, she slipped softly from the room. + +The two who were left, felt, the one a throb of relief, the other a +chill of acute discomfort, at finding themselves alone. The tie between +this mother and her eldest daughter was a very tender one, and in the +shock of the recent losses Mrs Saxon had unconsciously built much on +Rowena's sympathy and love. Rowena would help. Rowena would +sympathise; Rowena--herself a woman--would understand some things which +even the good husband could not grasp. In the happy, easy days of +prosperity, Rowena could always be relied on to be loving, dutiful, and +considerate--it was a shock to discover that these good qualities had +not enough foundation to withstand the test of adversity. Mrs Saxon +was not angry; only distressed and troubled afresh, and overwhelmingly +anxious to find the right way to her daughter's heart. + +"Mother!" cried Rowena sharply. "_How_ did father lose his money? It +seems so strange that it should disappear all of a sudden like this. We +have always had plenty until now. Has he been speculating, or doing +something rash?" + +The momentary pause before Mrs Saxon replied and the dignified lifting +of her gentle head were more eloquent than a spoken reproof. + +"No, Rowena; there is no blame attaching to your father. There has been +a great failure in America, which has affected many of his investments. +We cannot reproach ourselves for any want of care, and that being so, we +must look upon this change of circumstances as coming to us from God's +hands, and try to learn the lessons which it is intended to teach. To +each of us, perhaps, our own task appears especially hard. You, +darling, have looked forward to a time of pleasure and gaiety, and it is +difficult to give it up cheerfully, and face living quietly in the +country and helping in the house. I understand; I've been a girl +myself, and I remember how I felt; but, darling, I am a woman now-- +getting quite an old woman--and I have learnt my lessons. There is more +real joy and contentment to be gained by simply doing one's duty than in +all the balls and receptions of a London season, Rowena!" + +Rowena sat dumb, her eyes fixed on the tablecloth, her long dark lashes +resting on her cheeks. Those were the sentiments you read in books, and +heard in sermons, but it was always grown-up people who voiced them; +grown-up people who, like mother, had had a good time in their own +youth, and were afterwards unreasonable enough to expect their children +to be resigned and middle-aged when they had just emerged from the +schoolroom. Rowena thought of the prospect which had stretched +dazzlingly before her but a week before; of the gaiety and variety of +amusement which had made so fair a dream, and contrasted it with the +prospect of an uneventful domestic life at the Manor--teaching Maud! +She pressed her lips together, and sat silent, feeling her mother's eyes +on her face; dreading to meet their tenderly reproaching gaze. + +"That sounds strange to you, dear, and perhaps a little hard, but all +the same it is _true_. I do not minimise your disappointment, but for +the time being it is inevitable, and nothing remains but to face the +situation bravely. As the eldest daughter of the house more depends +upon you than upon any of the rest, and your opportunities will be +endless. You can be a great comfort to us, darling, or a great +additional care. It all depends upon the spirit in which you start the +new life--upon whether you look in or out--put yourself first, or think +of others." + +Mrs Saxon paused again, and within Rowena's still form two contending +forces fought for victory. While one sullen spirit held her dumb, the +real self seemed to stand apart, reviewing her own conduct, and uttering +words of exhortation and appeal: "How hateful of you never to say a word +in reply! Poor mother! her voice trembled... It's hard on her, too. +If you could just put your arms round her neck and kiss her, and promise +to be good, it would comfort her ever so much. And you'd be happier +yourself. It only makes you more miserable to sulk, and be unkind. +Look up and smile, and promise to be nice." So urged the inner voice, +but alas, the fleshy eyelids seemed heavy as lead, and the lips remained +stiff and unmoveable. To all outward appearance there was no sign of +softening in the fixed face. + +Mrs Saxon's heart sank heavily. Rowena's lack of response to her +appeal was a bitter disappointment; but she realised that it was useless +to prolong the interview. A few moments longer she waited, hoping +against hope for a word in reply, then stifling a sigh, she rose from +her seat. + +"Well--I must go back to father. Look after the fire, darling, if you +are going to stay here. It is getting low, and you must not catch +cold." + +She bent as she passed to kiss the unresponsive lips, and walked from +the room carrying a heavy heart in her breast. "If she had only spoken! +If she had even looked up and smiled!" Such was the wounded mother +cry; and all the time Rowena's heart was speeding unspoken messages +after her as she went. + +"Mother! I'm sorry. You are so sweet, and I am a wretch! I _will_ +try! I'll try my best!" + +Alas! the ears of sense could not catch the message, and so the +opportunity passed, and left both hearts aching and oppressed. + + + +CHAPTER SIX. + +"What's `rejuiced'?" queried Maud, squeezing herself into the central +place on the big fender, as her brothers and sisters sat roasting +chestnuts by the schoolroom fire one wet afternoon a few days later, and +the question being received by a blank stare of bewilderment she +repeated the word with intensified emphasis. "_Re-juiced_! _We're_ +rejuiced! I heard Mary say so in the schoolroom. She said to nurse +that she didn't know if the missis would be wanting to keep on two +housemaids now she was re-juiced! Does it mean _poor_?" + +"You have no business to listen to servants' conversation; but if you +do, pray spare us the repetition!" said Rowena in her most grown-up +manner. Maud reflected that ever since mother had spoken of the new +arrangement about lessons, Ro had talked exactly like a governess, and +been just as snappy as snappy. She bounced on her seat, and wagged her +head in the obstinate manner which she adopted upon provocation. + +"I don't listen, but I have ears, and if people speak I am obliged to +hear. Mary came into the room to dust. Nurse was darning the +tablecloth. It's all gone into holes where Gurth spilt the chemical +acid. It's the one with the little shamrocks for a pattern. So Nurse +said: `Drat those boys!' and licked the cotton with her tongue, and--" + +Hereward and Gurth exchanged glances of resigned boredom, but Dreda +drummed her heels on the floor, and called aloud with startling +emphasis: + +"Go on! Go on! Who wants to hear about tablecloth patterns, and +licking threads? Keep to your point, if you have a point to stick to! +If Rowena's is going to give you lessons, she'd better begin by teaching +you not to be such a bore. You go prosing on and on--" + +"I don't. I'm not. Bore yourself! 'Twas most intrusting!" insisted +Maud, stolidly. "They were sort of talking about us all, in a sort of +way as if I couldn't understand, and I understood all the time, and they +said we were rejuiced, and I asked you a simple question what it meant. +When you're perlite to other people, other people should be perlite to +you in return." + +"All right, Maud, keep calm, keep calm! You reduce a thing by taking +something from it. We are reduced because something--a great deal--has +been taken away from our income, and what remains is not enough to go +round. I expect the second housemaid will be sent packing, and you will +have to make the beds." + +Maud squealed with dismay, then with a gleam of shrewdness nodded her +head, and prophesied sagely: + +"It would be worse for you than me if I did! I'd make them full of +crumples. I'd get hold of the ends of the clothes, and _Hop_ them down +all together like Mary does when it's her Sunday out, and she's in a +hurry. _Then_ you'd be in a rage when you got in and your toes stuck +out!" + +"I'll make the beds!" announced Dreda, graciously. "I think all girls +ought to learn to be domestic, and there's a real art in making beds. +I've often thought how much better I could do it than any servant we +have had. It's the trained intellect, I suppose. (I do _hate_ you, +Rowena, when you sneer like that!) F'rinstance--I like my blankets just +up to my chin, and if I tell Mary ten times a day, it's always the +same--she doubles them down till you are all hunkley round the neck. +Then that leaves less to tuck in at the bottom, and if you have a +nightmare and kick, there you are with your feet sticking out in the +cold, and have to get up and tuck them in, when you want to sleep! And +I can't endure creases. I like the under sheet stretched as tight as +tight. Everyone likes a bed made in a special way, and it _ought_ to be +done. Think of the time one spends in bed! A third of one's life. +It's a shame not to be comfortable. I should be an expert in bed- +making. I'd keep a book to remind me of everyone's special fancies--" + +"And lose it the second day! Play all the experiments you like, but +leave my room alone. I want no expert. The ordinary common or garden +housemaid is good enough for me," said Hereward, cruelly. + +Dreda reflected sadly that a prophet was not a prophet in her own +country, but she was too much fired with the new idea to relinquish it +without a trial. Besides, hidden in her heart lay the reviving thought: +"If I could prove that I could be of use in the house, perhaps they'd +let me stay! I know quite enough lessons as it is!" + +The first two nights after hearing of the changed arrangements for her +own education Dreda had cried herself to sleep, and had even succeeded-- +with a little difficulty--in squeezing out a few tears as she dressed in +the morning, or what was the use of breaking your heart if no one were +the wiser, or pitied you for your pathetic looks? By the third morning, +however, her facile nature had adapted itself to the inevitable. She +was tired of being in the dumps, and reflected that with a little +diplomacy she would be able to "manage" the school governesses as +cleverly as she had done the Spider before them, while the Currant Buns +looked meek, poor-spirited creatures, who would like nothing better than +to be ruled. "_I'll_ teach them!" prophesied Dreda darkly, and the word +was used in no educational sense. + +The future was thus swallowed at a gulp; but all the same Dreda thought +it worth while to interview her mother on the subject of her domestic +ambitions, and was much disappointed to have her generous offer kindly +but firmly refused. + +"There is no necessity, dear. Thank you very much, all the same," Mrs +Saxon said, smilingly. "We are no longer able to keep up two houses, +but we can afford all the help that is needed for one. The two +housemaids can keep the bedrooms in order very easily in this fresh +clean air." + +Etheldreda put her head on one side and lengthened her upper lip, after +a fashion she affected when she wished to be impressive. + +"_Still_," she insisted, obstinately, "when a family is reduced in +circumstances I think it _most_ important that the girls should learn to +be domestic. I have always understood that in reduced circumstances it +was necessary for the mistress to overlook _everything_, and how can you +learn to do that if you never begin? It seems to me that one can never +begin too young, and if we _could_ do with only one housemaid, it is our +duty to do so." + +Mrs Saxon laughed. She always did laugh when Dreda waxed impressive, +which was one of that young woman's trials in life. + +"Darling Dreda!" she cried, affectionately. "You shall be as domestic +as ever you please--the more domestic the better; but there is a time +for everything, and this is your time for study. You must wait until +your education is finished, before you take up home duties. We are not +going to sacrifice your interests for the sake of a servant's wages. +Work hard, and do your best, dear. One thing at a time, and that done +well--" + +But Dreda refused to be convinced. + +"_My_ theory," she announced, firmly, "my theory is that it is stupid to +waste time learning things which you will never need! As we are +`rejuiced' (the expression had stuck, until the very pronunciation was +unconsciously reproduced), and I can't go to Madame Clerc's and be +finished properly, I should consider that it would be wiser to stop as I +am. I am very well grounded. We can't afford to go into society now, +so I shall probably marry a man in a humble position, and it's foolish +to educate me above my rank!" + +"Oh, Dreda, Dreda! Oh! I haven't laughed for weeks. You mustn't be +vexed with me for laughing, dear--it's _so_ refreshing!" And Mrs Saxon +wiped her eyes and chuckled irresistibly, the while her young daughter +regarded her more in pity than in anger. + +"I can't see what I have said that is so amusing. I was speaking _most_ +seriously. I'm fifteen. It's my own future that is at stake. Really, +mother!" + +"I'm sorry, dear, and I don't mean to be unsympathetic. I know you are +in earnest, but for the next few years you must consent to be guided by +what father and I believe to be best. Whatever may be before you, it is +necessary that you have a good education, so put your heart into your +work, and get on as quickly as possible." + +Dreda sucked her upper lip in eloquent disgust. + +"Parents are so _trying_!" she told herself, mentally. "They never seem +to think it possible that you know better yourself. I shall be quite +different with my daughters. What a pity it is that you can never +manage to be your own mother!" + + + +CHAPTER SEVEN. + +During the next three weeks the Saxons settled slowly into the routine +of life as it would in future be spent at the Manor. To begin with, the +house itself was greatly improved in appearance by the addition of extra +furniture and draperies sent down from the lavishly equipped house in +town. The cold austerity of the entrance-hall was turned into something +positively approaching cheerfulness by the presence of crimson +portieres, a huge tapestry screen shutting off the staircase, and, best +of all, by a brass brazier which, piled high with blazing coals, +diffused both light and heat, and seemed to speak a cheery welcome to +each new-comer. The Bechstein grand piano was not only a gain from a +musical point of view, but made a decided improvement in the sparsely +furnished drawing-room, while a few good pictures and ornaments gave a +homelike air which had hitherto been conspicuous by its absence. + +Rowena regarded these improvements with the numb unconcern which a +prisoner might manifest over an unimportant alteration in his cell; but +Dreda, as usual, was afire with enthusiasm, and spent a radiantly happy +day playing the part of a charwoman, in apron and rolled-up sleeves. +She washed all the ornaments, exulting in the inky colour of the water +after the operation, and insisting that each member of the household +should ascend to regain the same. + +"Isn't it beautifully dirty?" she cried in triumph. "I scrubbed them +with the nail brush. You should have seen the dust come out of the +chinks! I simply dote upon seeing the water turn black. It's no fun +washing things unless they are _really_ dirty!" + +When the additions were viewed as a whole, however, Dreda was not so +content. She even frowned with displeasure at sight of the luxury in +the hall. + +"It's not consistent!" she pronounced, judicially. "We are _rejuiced_, +and it doesn't look rejuiced! People in the neighbourhood coming to +call will think we are richer instead of poorer. You will have to +explain, mother. It wouldn't be honest if you didn't." + +Mrs Saxon's smile was a somewhat painful effort. + +"I imagine there will be little need of explanation, Dreda. News flies +fast in a country place, and our neighbours probably know our affairs as +well as we know them ourselves." + +"And are gossiping about us behind our backs, and longing to call and +see how we bear it!" continued Rowena, with that new edge of bitterness +in her voice, which sounded so sadly in her mother's ears. It needed a +hard struggle with herself before Mrs Saxon could command herself to +reply gently: + +"Curiosity is natural, perhaps, but I don't think we need fear anything +unfriendly. If there should be any exhibition of the sort, it's a +comfort to feel that I can depend upon my grown-up daughter to set an +example of dignity and self-restraint. My nature is like Dreda's, so +much more impulsive, that you will be a great strength to me, dear." + +Oh, that soft answer that turneth away wrath, how omnipotent it is! The +sneer was wiped off Rowena's face as by a sponge, her blue eyes +glistened, and she stooped her tall young head to press an impetuous +kiss upon her mother's cheek. For the rest of the day she was her old, +sweet loving self, and the mother was rewarded a thousandfold for the +effort which it had cost her to repress a hasty retort, and replace it +by a word of tenderness and appreciation. + +At the end of a fortnight the three boys returned to school, placidly +resigned to a change of circumstances which left their own lives +untouched; and no sooner had they departed than the Spider in her turn +began to pack her boxes, in preparation for her own exit. For the past +ten years she had been regarded as a member of the family, spending the +greater number of her holidays with her pupils, and being included in +all the household festivities and rejoicings. It was inevitable that +her absence would cause a blank, and the young people experienced sundry +pangs of conscience as they recalled the want of appreciation with which +they had received their efforts on their behalf. How they had teased +and lazed, and plotted and schemed, to escape the tasks which she had so +laboriously enforced! How they had laughed behind her back, imitating +her little mannerisms, and exhorting each other after her invariable +formulae: "Impertinence, my love, is _not_ wit!" + +"A young lady should be composed and dignified in demeanour." + +"Concentration, my dear, concentration! That is what you require." +Poor, dear, good Spider; her methods were somewhat behind the times; but +she was the kindest, most faithful of souls. Everyone was thankful to +know that owing to the recent receipt of a legacy she was able to retire +comfortably from active work, and to look forward to a peaceful +contented home in the family of a beloved niece. Neither was it a very +serious parting, since nothing was so certain as that so true a friend +must return again and again to the scene of her labours; to see Hereward +in his first uniform; to attend Rowena's marriage; Dreda's coming out; +and inspect the progress of her youngest pupils. A few tears were shed +when the hour of parting actually arrived, but there was no bitterness +in them on either side, nor were they of any long duration. + +And now for Etheldreda's turn! When the morning dawned on which she was +to depart for school, she felt it fitting that her toilette should +express the melancholy of her mood. Dreda had a great idea of fitness, +and a costume composed of an old shepherd plaid skirt, a grey flannel +blouse and a black tie seemed admirably symbolic of what she herself +described as "the mourning of her soul." When it was donned, however, +the result was found to be so extremely unbecoming that resolution +wavered, and collapsed. After all, the most important matter was to +impress her new companions, and there was no denying that that could be +done most effectively in blue--in just such a blue as was at that moment +hanging in the wardrobe ready for use. With light-like speed Dreda shed +her dun-coloured garments on to the floor, and in a trice was arrayed in +her prettiest, most becoming costume. + +This time the reflection was so pleasing that it was quite an effort to +pull down her chin, and drop her eyelids, with the air of melancholy +resignation which she was determined at all costs to preserve during +breakfast. Mrs Saxon's face brightened at sight of the pretty blue +dress, but neither she nor any other member of the family mentioned the +fatal word "school." Rather did each one try to give a cheerful turn to +the conversation, and to lead it towards a discussion of those topics in +which the heroine of the day was the most interested. "Sops!" murmured +Dreda dramatically to herself. "Sops!" She struggled hard to restrain +her longing for a second helping of bacon; but her courage gave out at +the thought of the motor drive across the cold open country. + +"I must strengthen myself with plenty of nourishment," she decided, as +she handed over her plate, and accepted the offer of a third cup of +coffee. Like all pleasant things, however, the meal came to an end at +last, and then the great event of the day could no longer be ignored. +Maud caught the glance exchanged between her parents, and felt herself +freed from her promise of silence. + +"_Now_!" she exclaimed, with a gusty sigh of relief. "Now for the Buns! +_Now_ you'll see which knows most, them or you. Them, I should think, +'cause they're clever, and you forget. Miss Bruce said your head was +like a sieve. Do you remember the day she said it? She had on her jet +chain, and jingled with the beads. You'll have to remember not to +forget, or you'll be the bottom of the class. Fancy three Currant Buns +on top!" + +She stopped short, with her characteristic throaty little laugh, and +Dreda glared at her with flashing eyes. It was really extraordinary +that anyone so stupid as Maud should so often succeed in hitting upon +just the most aggravating thing to say under the circumstances. Three +Currant Buns on top indeed! Life would only be endurable if she herself +could seize the leading place, and hold it relentlessly to the end. She +would not condescend to reply, and Maud was hurriedly nudged, and poked, +and "shoved" into silence by Rowena, who was in an unusually sympathetic +mood, realising how she herself would have felt had fate cast her own +scholastic lot with that of the Misses Webster. + +"Never mind her," she whispered, consolingly, as she followed Dreda +upstairs to put on hat and jacket before her departure. "It's not worth +while troubling yourself about Maud's remarks. It's impossible to think +that any of those girls will get the better of _you_! It's hateful, of +course; but perhaps it may not be quite so hateful as we think--" + +"Oh, I don't mind. I'm resigned! One can only be as miserable as one +can. Perhaps I'll have an accident some day, riding over those rough +roads, and then it will all be finished. I don't mind how soon my life +is over!" declared Dreda, harpooning her hat viciously with a pin of +murderous length, ornamented at the head by a life-size imitation of a +tomato. "But while I _do_ live, I tell you one thing, Rowena, I'll-- +I'll _hold my own_!" + +"I'm sure of that," assented Rowena, with conviction. "Look here, +Dreda, would you like me to drive over with you as well as mother? I +could, you know; and it might break the ice!" + +"No, no! Father wanted to come, but I begged not. Everything is +arranged, and I don't want people looking on. It will be a _hidjus_ +ordeal!" + +"Oh, my dear, come! Don't exaggerate. It's not so tragic as all that." + +"Isn't it, then? Don't be so grown-up and horrid! How would _you_ like +it yourself, if anyone made the best of your having to teach Maud?" + +That one trenchant question was sufficient to reduce Rowena to the +depths of silent despair, and the two sisters descended the staircase +with aspects equally lugubrious and mournful. + +It was not a cheerful send-off, despite all the efforts of the family, +who stood shivering in the porch to wave farewells, and call out +encouraging prognostications so long as the motor remained in sight. +Dreda drew a big sigh of relief as they turned out of the drive, and +spun rapidly along the highway. The necessity for keeping up a part was +over, and involuntarily she began softly whistling beneath her breath, +for in truth she was by no means so miserable as she had striven to +appear. + +Novelty was the breath of Dreda's nostrils. Any novelty to her was +better than none, and if the chance of returning to the house had at +that moment been vouchsafed, it is doubtful if she would have accepted +it at the cost of missing the excitements of the next few hours. + +The car spun along strongly, so that the twenty miles' distance was +speedily covered, and before Etheldreda was half-way through her dreams +it had turned in at a gate, and there before her eyes lay Grey House, a +square, pretentious-looking building, with a door in the middle and a +stretch of three windows on either side. There, also--oh! thrilling and +exciting moment--pressed against the panes of an upper window were a +number of round white discs, which must obviously be the faces of pupils +watching the advent of the new girl! + +Dreda sat up, and throwing back her golden mane, tossed a laughing +remark to her mother--the first she had volunteered since leaving home, +and showed her white teeth in a determined smile. If she were fated to +arrive at all, she would arrive as a conqueror who would be regarded +with envy and admiration. Privately, she might consider herself a +martyr, but that was not a role in which she chose to appear before +other people. She was smiling as she entered the drawing-room after her +mother, smiling as Miss Bretherton came forward to greet them, smiling +still, a forced, fixed smile, as she listened to the conversation +between the two ladies. + +"Hope we shall be very happy together--" + +("I shan't. I don't like you a bit! Scraggy, cross-looking thing! +Your nose looks as if it would cut!") + +"...Dreda is fond of society. She will enjoy working with other girls!" + +("Shan't, then! I shall hate it. I should have enjoyed it in Paris.") + +"...Beginnings always are a little difficult; but young people _soon_ +adapt themselves!" + +("It's easy to talk!") + +After a few minutes passed in the exchange of these and similar +commonplaces, Mrs Saxon rose to depart. On a previous visit she had +been shown over the house, and had seen the room where her daughter was +to sleep, and now her presence would only prolong the agony. She cast a +look at her daughter, full of yearning mother love and sympathy; but +Dreda was smiling still, her grey eyes wide open, her very gums showing +in the unnatural stretching of her lips. She submitted to be kissed, +but offered no caress in return, and turned with a nonchalant air to +examine the photographs on the mantelshelf, while Miss Bretherton +escorted her mother to the door. + +They were all photographs of girls--old girls who had left school and +could afford to be amiable and forgiving. One wore a cap and gown and +was evidently a crack pupil who had won honours at college; another held +a baby on her knee--she was pretty, and had married young; a third +supported her head on her hand and stared dreamily into space; another +posed against a screen. Dreda stared at them with eyes that grew misty +and unseeing, as the motor puffed down the drive. Now she was alone-- +away from home for the first time in her life! Miss Bretherton was +coming back--Miss Bretherton with the thin face and the sharply pointed +nose. + +The door opened; the photographs looked mistier than ever; Miss +Bretherton's voice sounded from an immense distance, saying in cheery +tones: + +"Now I am going to take you upstairs to see your room, Etheldreda. +Susan Webster and Nancy West will share it with you. Susan you know +already--a delightful girl; and Nancy is equally charming. Most of the +girls returned last night, but we have not yet settled into regular +work: it takes a little time to arrange the classes. Are your boots +quite clean? Better rub them once more on the mat! Pupils are not +allowed to ascend the staircase in outdoor shoes." + +She led the way forward, while Dreda followed, looking about with +curious eyes. The carpet lasted only so long as the stair could be seen +from the hall beneath, and was then replaced by oil-cloth, worn to a +colourless drab by the tramp of many feet. On the first storey a narrow +passage ran the whole length of the house, and innumerable doors seemed +to open on each side. The murmur of voices could be heard from within, +as one passed these closed portals; but one of the number, labelled +Number 5, was not quite shut, and Dreda had a shrewd suspicion that it +opened an inch or two wide as she passed by. Probably it gave entrance +to the room from which faces had stared out on the drive; probably the +same curious faces were peering forth through that crack at this very +moment. + +The bedroom bore a bleak look, despite the fact that the furniture was +all in threes--three narrow beds, three washstands, three chests of +drawers--topped by miniature mirrors--and three small cane-seated +chairs. Each of the three inmates had a portion of the room to herself, +and against the wall stood two folding screens, evidently designed to +insure privacy. Dreda noted with dismay that the two ends of the room, +the one next the window and the one next the door, already bore signs of +occupation. Her brow clouded, and instead of the usual polite remarks +of approval, out shot an impetuous question: + +"Have I to take the middle? I'd rather have an end!" + +"Susan and Nancy have occupied the same beds for the last year. All are +equally comfortable." + +"There ought to be three screens. I want two to shut myself in. +Suppose one of the others didn't want hers up!" + +"Why suppose disagreeables, my dear? It is a great mistake. I feel +sure your companions will consider your comfort as thoughtfully as their +own. Hang your jacket on the pegs; then you can come to your classroom, +to be introduced to your companions. Take off your hat." + +Dreda pulled a face in the mirror. She felt cross and ill-used. At +home she was accustomed to a big, beautiful room all to herself; she did +not at all enjoy the prospect of owning a third of this chill grey +dormitory. She took off her hat--conscious that Miss Bretherton's eyes +were regarding the tomato-topped pin with silent disapproval--wriggled +out of her coat, and bestowed a series of pats and pulls to hair, +necktie, and blouse. Being one of the happy people who feel cheered +rather than depressed by the sight of her own reflection in the glass, +she followed the head mistress downstairs without any of the +trepidations of nervousness which afflict most new girls, and was by no +means surprised when that lady made straight for the doorway of Number +5. + +It opened, and six girls were discovered seated before a table, wearing +expressions of preternatural solemnity. One of the number wore +spectacles; a second had a broad band of metal over her front teeth; a +third had red hair and a thick powdering of freckles; "The Currant Buns" +wore dresses of yellowy-brown tweed, which in Dreda's eyes made them +appear "bunnier" than ever. So much was taken in by the first lightning +glance, as at the appearance of Miss Bretherton the girls leapt +mechanically to their feet and stood stolidly at attention. + +"Girls, this is your new companion, Etheldreda Saxon. She is to share +Number 20 with Susan and Nancy, and I expect will be in the fourth form. +You had better leave your books and have a little chat beside the fire, +until Miss Drake is ready. You may tell her that I gave you +permission." + +She left the room and shut the door behind her, and Dreda was left face +to face with her new companions. + + + +CHAPTER EIGHT. + +For a moment the six girls retained their former positions, staring with +blank, expressionless faces at the new comer. Then Mary Webster, the +eldest of the "Currant Buns," advanced with outstretched hand, followed +by her two younger sisters. + +"How do you do?" + +"How do you do?" + +"How do you do?" + +"So glad to see you." + +"So glad--" + +"Very glad--" + +The murmurs died into silence, while Dreda smiled a radiant +encouragement. + +"Quite well, thank you. But rather cold. May we poke the fire? My +feet--" + +She tapped expressively on the floor, whereupon Mary Webster poked +discreetly at the fire and Susan, the youngest of the sisters, pushed a +chair into the cosiest corner. The other three girls had come forward +by this time, and introduced themselves in due form. + +"How do you do? I'm Barbara Moore. It's hateful to be a new girl!" + +"How do you do? I'm Norah Grey. Sorry you're cold." + +"How do you do? I'm Nancy. Tell me truthfully--_Do you snore_?" + +Dreda laughed gaily. + +"Sometimes--when I lie on my back. I do it on purpose, because you +dream such thrilling dreams. And I yell horribly when I come to the bad +bits." + +"Something will have to be done!" said Nancy, darkly. She was the girl +with the band over her front teeth. It was ugly, but fascinating; one +felt constrained to look at it, and looking at it could not help +noticing how curved and red were the lips, how darkly lashed the long +grey eyes. Nancy was evidently a person to be reckoned with. She sat +herself down by the fire, stretched out her feet to the blaze, and +appeared to be lost in thought. Dreda longed to talk to her, to inquire +what she meant by that mysterious "something," but the "Currant Buns" +were clustering round her, regarding her with anxiously proprietary airs +as if, having the honour of a personal acquaintance, it was their due to +receive the first attention. Dreda felt quite like a celebrity, on the +point of being interviewed by a trio of reporters; but as usual she +preferred to play the part of questioner herself. + +"Were you doing prep when I came in? What classes are you taking to- +day? I feel as if I've forgotten everything. One always does in the +holidays, doesn't one? Such a bore having to grind through it all +again. Seems such a waste of time." + +"Have you a bad memory? Miss Drake, our English governess, is +especially clever at developing the powers of memory. And holiday tasks +are so useful, too; don't you find them so? It is impossible to forget, +if one has to study for an elaborate thesis." + +"The--what?" questioned Dreda blankly. "But whoever _does_ study in the +holidays? I don't! If you did, they wouldn't be holidays. So stupid! +Holidays are for rest and fun. Bad enough to have lessons for two- +thirds of the year. One's brain must have _some_ rest!" + +She ended on quite an indignant note, and her companions stared at her +with a mingling of admiration and dismay. Such a vivid bit of colouring +had not been seen for many a long day in that neutral-tinted room. +Yellow hair, pink cheeks, red lips, blue dress--she was positively +dazzling to behold. The two younger Miss Websters appeared absorbed in +admiration, but the eldest and cleverest-looking of the three pursed up +her lips with an air of disapproval and said primly: + +"It depends upon one's _idea_ of rest, doesn't it? Leisure may mean +only a time of amusement, but it's a rather poor conception of the word. +The ancient Greeks understood by it a time of _congenial_ work, as +distinguished from work which they were obliged to do. Their necessary +work was undertaken in order that they might obtain a time of leisure, +but when it came, instead of wasting it in foolish and passing +amusement, they used it to strengthen their intellect and to store up +ennobling thoughts." + +"How did they do that, pray?" Dreda put the question with the air of +one launching a poser, but Mary Webster showed no signs of discomfiture. + +"They used to meet together in little companies, and discuss the deepest +and most important topics of the day--" + +"I expect they gossiped horribly!" + +"And they watched the dramas--" + +"I call that amusement! I wouldn't mind doing that myself." + +"But the Greek dramas were not light and vapid like modern plays. They +dealt with serious subjects, and the audience often used to commit the +words to memory as a mental exercise." + +Dreda yawned. + +"Ah, well," she conceded indulgently, "it's a long while ago! One +mustn't be hard on them, poor dears, for they knew no better. I don't +approve of girls bothering their heads about ancient Greeks. Boys have +to, for examinations, but if we want to grow up nice, domesticated women +it's better to learn modern things, and leave those old fusties alone. +They do one no good." + +The girls stared at her in stunned surprise. Agnes, the second Webster, +dropped her chin to an abnormal length; the youngest, Susan, bit +nervously at her lips; Mary cleared her throat and showed signs of +returning to the attack, but Dreda was already tired of the subject, and +made a diversion by leaping from her seat and approaching the table +where piles of blue-covered exercise books were neatly arranged at +intervals of about a yard apart. + +"Let me look at your books, and see what you are doing! I didn't bring +any books till I saw what you used. I expect they will be the same. +All school books are. I've got the ones Rowena used." She broke off, +staring with dismay at the underlined questions which met her eye in one +of Agnes's neatly written books: + +"_Characterise the work of Praxiteles, comparing it with that of +Phidias_." + +"_Describe the Caryatids of the Erectheum_." + +"_More_ Greeks! How awful! You seem saturated in Greece." She threw +down the book impatiently and took up another. "Write a short essay on +Chaucer (I know Chaucer!) and his times (When did he live? Ages ago, I +know, for he couldn't spell), dwelling on (1) the state of society as +shown by the attitude of Wycliffe to the Pope, and the higher clergy; +(2) the peasants' revolt"--Dreda looked round with horrified eyes. +"_What_ a thing! Do you often have essays like that? Your governess +must be a man in disguise!" + +"She is exceedingly clever and well read, and a most interesting and +original teacher." + +"Humph!--I prefer the old school! Our governess gives us essays on +Spring, and Happiness, and quotations from poetry. They are far better, +for if you don't know anything, you can make it up. You know the sort +of thing. `One has often felt--' `Should we not all--' `At this season +of the year our hearts overflow--' I assure you I have often sat down +not knowing what on earth I was going to say, and have written _pages_! +That's far better for you than learning dull facts about people who were +dead and buried hundreds of years ago, because it exercises your +imagination and resource, and they are so useful for a woman. Now, just +suppose you were married, and a lot of dull people were coming to +dinner--it would help you awfully if you'd been trained to make +conversation out of nothing! And supposing you suddenly found that +there was nothing to eat, and you had to make a dinner out of scraps-- +what would be most useful to you then, Greek history or a good, +resourceful brain?" + +Mary and Agnes stared aghast, but the sound of a snigger came from the +fireplace where Susan stood meekly in the background, and a moment later +a ringing laugh drew all eyes to the doorway where stood a tall, bright- +haired girl, whose white teeth gleamed pleasantly through her parted +lips. + +"Bravo!" she cried gaily. "Bravo, my new pupil! Very adroitly argued. +But suppose now that one of your dull diners happened to be an +enthusiast about Greece, and that its glories were the only subject on +which he was prepared to talk! Suppose he spoke of the `Caryatids,' for +example, and you had no idea what the word meant--how would you keep up +your share of the conversation?" + +"Quite easily. I'd say--`Really! How very interesting! _Pray_ do go +on!' Then he'd be charmed. People always are charmed to go on +talking," declared Dreda smiling back with the utmost frankness into the +face of this bright, friendly stranger. + +So this was the English governess of whose cleverness and +accomplishments she had heard so much! She looked quite young-- +ridiculously young; not many years older than Rowena herself. Dreda had +expected to see an elderly, spectacled dame, thin and spare, with scant +locks dragged tightly back from her face. In the dark depression of her +spirits she had thought it possible that she might even wear knitted +mittens, and have cotton wool in her ears. Never for a moment had it +occurred to her that an accomplished finishing governess could be young +and pretty! + +To judge from Miss Drake's expression she was experiencing very much the +same pleasure in the sight of her new pupil, for her eyes brightened +visibly as she looked Dreda up and down, down and up, with a keen, +intent scrutiny. She laughed as she heard the girl's answer, and +replied easily: + +"That's quite true, Etheldreda. I am myself! That's one of the reasons +which induced me to work--for unless one is contented to play the part +of hearer through life, it really is worth the trouble to store up a +little general knowledge, so that one may talk as interestingly as +possible. Lessons may seem dull and unnecessary at the time, but they +_are_ useful afterwards! Now, girls, take your places! Etheldreda +shall sit here on my left, and I will read over the syllabus for this +term's study, and draw out a timetable. As we come to each fresh +subject I will show you our books, Etheldreda, and we will see if they +are the same as those which you have been using, and how far you have +progressed. I expect we shall be able to work along together, even if +there is a little space to be gulfed on either side." + +"Please!" cried the new pupil earnestly, "don't call me Etheldreda. +Nobody ever does except when I'm in disgrace, and it's so long and +proper. I'm always Dreda at home." + +"Dreda, then! It _is_ more get-at-able. Well, now, Dreda, take a pen +and write down our syllabus in this book. I like my pupils to have a +clear idea of the work ahead." + +Dreda settled herself complacently to the task, but as she wrote her +face grew ever longer and longer. What subjects were there which she +was supposed to study? Political economy--she had not the vaguest idea +of what it meant! Physiology--that was something horrid about one's +body, which ought properly to be left to nurses and doctors! Zoology-- +animals! She knew everything that she wanted to know about animals +already; how to feed and tend them, and make them tame and friendly. +She could not love them half so much if she were obliged to worry +herself learning stupid names half a yard long, which no ordinary human +creature understood! Latin--Algebra--Astronomy. She glanced round the +table and beheld Mary and Agnes and Susan scribbling away with unruffled +composure. No sign of alarm could be traced on their calm, bun-like +countenances, the longest words flowed from their pens as if such a +thing as difficulty in spelling did not exist. Dreda looked for a +moment over Mary's shoulder, and beheld her writing a diphthong without +so much as turning a hair. + +A chilly feeling crept up her spine; her heart seemed to stop beating, +then at the next moment thudded violently against her side. She was not +going to be at the top of the class; she was to be at the bottom! +Instead of leading the van, and victoriously trailing the Currant Buns +in her wake, the Currant Buns would have to trail her; and a heavy, +unenlightened load she would be! A stormy prospect lay ahead; straits +of difficulty; seas of depression; oceans of humiliation. Pride, and +pride alone, prevented Dreda from laying down her head on the dingy +brown tablecloth and bursting into tears. Alas, alas! for the happy, +easy days of History, Geography, and Arithmetic, with the old-fashioned +Spider. Alas for the finishing joys of Madame Clerc's select academy, +where the young ladies were taken about to see the sights of Paris, with +no other restriction on their pleasure seeking but that on one and all +occasions they should amuse themselves in French! + +It grew wearisome to make ever the same reply to Miss Drake's question. +"No, she had never studied that subject." + +"No, she had never seen this book." Mary stared unblushingly with her +little dark eyes. Agnes dropped her chin until it looked twice its +natural length, Susan flicked over the pages of her exercises and +appeared absorbed in their contents. Nancy smiled a furtive smile. + +"No," cried Dreda desperately. "No, I know nothing about it! I--I have +been educated on quite different lines--I think I had better go on as I +have begun. I don't want to keep back the whole class. Let the others +go on as usual, and leave me out. I can join _in_ for the ordinary +subjects." + +"Nonsense, Dreda. Nothing of the sort. We take up each subject afresh +at the beginning of the term, and if you work hard you will be able to +manage quite well. It is better to make a little push to keep in this +form than to go into a lower one with younger girls, and less +interesting work. I am not unreasonable. I shall not expect miracles; +do your best, and we'll help you on. I think you had better have a +special coach to whom you can apply if you want help or explanation in +your preparation. Now which of you girls would like to be Dreda's +coach, and spare her a little time when it is needed?" + +There was a simultaneous rustle of assent, but two voices spoke first, +breaking the silence at identically the same moment. + +"I!" cried Susan. + +"Me!" cried Nancy. + +Miss Drake smiled. "Oh, Nancy, Nancy!" she cried gaily; "a nice person +_you_ would be to coach another! Better give a little more attention to +your own grammar, my dear. Very well, Susan, that is settled. You +shall be Dreda's coach!" + +Dreda and Susan looked at each other across the table in silence. Susan +saw flushed cheeks and eyes suspiciously bright. Dreda stared in +amazement, asking herself how it could be that anyone so much like the +two elder sisters could at the same time be so diametrically different. +Mary and Agnes were unusually plain, heavy-looking girls, but in Susan's +face there was at this moment, a light of sympathy which made it +strangely attractive. She possessed the family features, the family +eyes, but Nature had evidently been prejudiced on her behalf and had +given with a more generous hand. An extra shade of darkness on the +eyebrows, an extra dip to the nose, a tiny curl to the lips, a tilt of +the chin--these were trifles in themselves, but what an amazing +improvement when taken in bulk! Dreda gazed and gazed, and as she did +so there came to her one of those delightful experiences which most of +us encounter once or twice as we go through life. As she met this +strange girl's glance, a thrill of recognition ran through her veins; a +voice in her heart cried, "_My Friend_!" and she knew just as surely as +if she had been told _in_ words that at the same moment Susan's heart +had sounded the same glad welcome. + +She said: "Thank you, Susan," in a voice unusually subdued, and bit her +lips to keep back the tears. + + + +CHAPTER NINE. + +At twelve o'clock work was laid aside and Miss Drake accompanied the +girls for an hour's constitutional. She claimed Dreda for her companion +for the first part of the walk, for she had noticed the girl's +humiliation, and was anxious to have a few words with her in private. + +"I am sorry that you should have had such a disagreeable cross- +questioning this morning, Dreda," she began brightly, "but I am sure you +will realise that it was necessary. I was obliged to find out what you +had been doing before I could make plans for the future. Now that is +over, and we can move ahead. You will enjoy working with Susan. She is +appreciative and thoughtful--a little slow in taking things in, perhaps, +but for the present that will be a good thing, as it will make it all +the easier for a quick girl like yourself to catch up to her in class +work." Dreda glanced up sharply. + +"I! Quick! How do you know?" + +Miss Drake smiled mischievously. + +"Oh, very easily--very easily, indeed! I am accustomed to work among +girls, and when I get a new pupil I know at once under which category +she will fall. When I saw you I said to myself--`Quick, ambitious, +versatile!' I have no fear that you will fail to do anything to which +you persistently give your mind." + +"Ah!" groaned Dreda tragically, "but that's just what I can never do. +For a little time--yes! I'm a _wonder_ to work when I first get a +craze. But--it passes! I get--_bored_! I've never stuck persistently +to one thing in my life. The boys call me `Etheldreda the Ready,' +because I'm always bubbling over with enthusiasm at the beginning, and +willing to promise any mortal thing you like--and then,"--she snapped +her fingers in illustration--"Snap! the balloon bursts, and I collapse +into nothing. It will be the same thing with lessons!" + +Miss Drake held up her hand imperatively. + +"Stop!" she cried clearly. "Stop! Never say that again, never _allow_ +yourself to say it. You know your failing in your own heart, and that +is enough! Every time that you put it into words, and talk about it to +others, gives it added strength and power and makes it more difficult to +fight. My dear girl, you are not a child--how feeble to take for +granted that you are going to continue in your old baby failings! Take +for granted instead that you are going to live them down, and trample +them beneath your feet. You'll have to fight for it, and to fight hard, +but it will do you more good than any lessons I can teach. That's the +best education, isn't it, to achieve the mastery over ourselves?" + +Now, if meek Miss Bruce had delivered herself of similar sentiments, +Dreda would have tilted her chin and wriggled contemptuously in her +chair, muttering concerning "preaching," and wishing to goodness that +the tiresome old thing would stop talking and get on with her work, but +Miss Drake wore such a young and gallant air, as she strode along the +country lane with her head thrown back, and her uplifted hand waving +aloft, that the girl's ardent nature took flame; she tilted her own +head, waved her own arm, and felt a tingling of martial zeal. Yes, she +would work! Yes, she would fight! She would tread her enemies under +foot and emerge from the conflict victorious, untrammelled, a paragon of +virtues. She turned a dazzling smile upon her companion and heaved an +ardent sigh. + +"How beautifully you talk! Our old governess was so different! She did +not understand my nature. I have wonderful ambitions, but I am so +sensitive that I can't work against difficulties. I need constant +encouragement and appreciation. A sensitive plant--" + +"Oh, Dreda, please spare me that worn-out simile! Not work against +difficulties, indeed! What nonsense you talk! It is not work at all +when everything is easy and smooth. Don't deceive yourself, my dear-- +you are going to find plenty of difficulties, and to find them quickly, +too. This very afternoon they will begin, when you tackle the new +subjects and realise your own ignorance. You won't enjoy being behind +your companions." + +Dreda threw out her arms with a gesture of despair, but she made no +further protest. Difficulties arising in the dim future she felt +herself able to face resolutely enough, but the thought that they might +begin that very afternoon dispelled her ardour. She listened to Miss +Drake's further utterances with so quelled and dispirited an air that +that quick-sighted lady felt that enough had been said for the moment, +and calling her elder pupils to her side, set the two younger girls free +to walk together. + +It was the moment for which both had been longing, but a mutual shyness +held them tongue-tied for the first hundred yards. Naturally it was +Dreda who broke the silence. + +"It was ripping of you to offer to coach me. I don't believe in +learning all those things, but if I must, I must, and it would have been +difficult all alone. I hope you don't mind." + +"I want to," said Susan simply. "I've always wanted to do something for +you, since the first time we met. It was at a Christmas party at the +Rectory and you wore a black frock. I never thought then that you would +come to school with us, but I wished you could be my friend. When I've +made castles in the air they have always been about you, and something +we could do together. I sat beside you at supper. Do you remember?" + +No! Dreda had no recollection of the kind. She and her brothers and +sisters had always cherished a secret contempt for the Webster sisters +and had sedulously avoided them on every occasion. If Susan had been +seated on one side at supper, it followed as a matter of course that +Dreda herself had devoted her attention exclusively to whoever sat at +the other side. She felt a faint pricking of conscience, and answered +tentatively: "It is so long ago. I have a wretched memory. I remember +we had lovely crackers at supper--but that's all. How did you come to +notice me?" + +"Because you were so pretty," Susan said. "Your sister is pretty too, +very pretty, but she does not look so gay. And your brothers--they are +such big, handsome boys. You are all handsome, and big, and strong, and +have such romantic names. You seemed far more like a family in a book +than real, live people. The `Story-Book Saxons'--that was always our +name for you when we spoke of you between ourselves. Do you think it is +nice?" + +"Very nice, indeed. `Story-Book Saxons!' I must tell Rowena that." +Dreda preened her head complacently. This simple admiration was most +refreshing after the humiliations of the morning. "Perhaps we _are_ +rather unusual," she allowed. "Rowena is beautiful when she is in a +good temper, and the boys are always bringing home prizes, and being +captains in their sports. Maud is stupid, but she has lovely hair, and +I, I'm not advanced in lessons--_your_ sort of lessons--but Miss Bruce +says I have a very original mind. When I'm grown up I don't intend to +stodge along in the dull, humdrum fashion most women do. I mean to Do +something. To Be something. To live for an Aim!" + +Susan regarded her with serious eyes. + +"What sort of aim?" + +"Oh-h"--Dreda waved her arms with a sweeping movement--"I've not +decided. There's plenty of time. But I mean to have a Career, and make +my name known in the world." + +"Don't you think," Susan asked tentatively, "that it is best to have a +definite aim and to prepare for it beforehand?" + +"You talk as if you had an ambition yourself!" + +"I have!" said Susan quietly. + +"You mean to be celebrated like me?" + +"I am going to be an author. I hope I shall be celebrated. I shall try +my best, but only time can show how I shall succeed." + +"An author!" Dreda repeated disapprovingly. "_You_! How very odd! I +have thought of being an author myself, and we are so different. I +believe I could make up a very good story if I'd time. The only +difficult part would be writing it out. Fancy perhaps fifty chapters! +You'd get sick of them before you were half through, and have writers' +cramp, and all sorts of horriblenesses. We might collaborate, Susan!" + +Susan smiled, but showed no sign of weakening. + +"I don't think that would do. We should never agree about what we +wanted to say, but it would be delightful to read our stories aloud to +each other, and discuss them together. The first heroine I make shall +be exactly like you!" + +"That's sweet of you. Begin at once--do! and read each chapter as it's +done." + +Susan's smile was somewhat wistful. She looked in Dreda's face with +anxious eyes, as though waiting for a promise which must surely come, +but Dreda remained blankly unresponsive. It never occurred to her for a +moment that it could be possible to make a heroine out of Susan Webster! + + + +CHAPTER TEN. + +West End School was conducted on lines differing somewhat both from +those of the modern public school and the old polite finishing seminary +for young ladies. It accommodated in all about fifty pupils, and +although games and examinations formed important parts of the +curriculum, they were not regarded as being of such absorbing importance +as in many modern schools. Miss Bretherton was a woman of lofty aims, +who was continually looking beyond her pupils' schooldays to the time +when they should be the women of Britain; the wives and mothers, and +sisters and friends of the men who were to carry on the work of our +great Empire, and who, humanly speaking, would do that work well or ill +according to the manner in which their womankind influenced their lives. +Miss Bretherton realised that the chief result of school study was not +the mere storing of information, but the training of the brain to +grapple with the great problems of life. Lessons were only means to an +end. Half of that which was learnt with such pains would be forgotten +before a dozen years had passed by; but the deeper lessons of industry, +patience, self-restraint, would remain as habits of daily life. +Formation of character--that was the one absorbing object which the Head +held in view, and which underlay every scheme and arrangement. Miss +Bretherton's manner was so staid, her nature so reserved, that her +pupils were apt to credit her with being dull and easily deceived, +little guessing that those quiet eyes were as searchlights turned upon +their little foibles and vanities. During Dreda's first week at school +her mood was pretty equally divided between enjoyment and misery. She +loved the big, full, bustling house, the constant companionship of her +kind, the chats over the study fire, the games in the playground; in a +lesser degree she enjoyed the lessons also--those, at least, in which +she was fairly proficient--and found Miss Drake a most interesting and +inspiring teacher. She loved the interest which she excited, the +flattering remarks of other girls, the quiet devotion of Susan; but she +hated the rules of "early to bed and early to rise"; found it a penance +to be obliged to practise scales, with icy fingers, for forty minutes +before breakfast; was fretted and humiliated by her ignorance on many +important subjects, and at the end of the long day often found herself +tired, disappointed, and--hungry! + +There is no doubt that a school menu is a distinct trial to the girl +fresh from home. The girl accustomed to mix cream in a cup of freshly +roasted, freshly ground coffee takes badly to the weak, groundy liquid +so often supplied in its place. She grows tired to death of beef, +mutton, and resurrection pie, and is inclined to declare that if the +only way to become strong is to consume everlasting suet puddings, why, +then, as a choice of evils, she prefers to be weak! + +"Is it always as bad as this?" Dreda demanded plaintively of her room- +mates as they brushed their locks in company before retiring to bed on +the evening of her fifth day at West House. "Do you _never_ have +anything nice and light, that doesn't taste of suet and oven? Does it +get better as summer comes on?" + +"Worse!" pronounced Nancy shortly. + +Dreda had devoted five whole days to the study of Nancy's character, and +to this hour could not make up her mind whether she most liked or +detested her. She was the oddest of girls: nothing seemed to excite +her, nothing to trouble, nothing to please. Occasionally she would show +swift, kindly impulses, as when she had offered to become Dreda's coach; +but not a flicker of disappointment did she portray if such impulses +were repulsed, not a gleam of pleasure if they were accepted. At other +times she seemed to take a perverse pleasure in making the worst of a +situation and playing the part of Job's comforter. + +"Worse!" she sighed. "Much worse! Because it's warm weather, and your +fancy lightly turns to nicer things. It's a bit of a cross to see +strawberries in the shop windows, and them come home to `Brother, where +art thou?'" + +"What brother?" + +"Raisins!" said Nancy, and sighed again. "They lose each other in such +steppes of suet." + +Conscientious Susan exclaimed in protest. + +"Nancy! Too bad. There is always stewed rhubarb!" + +But this was poor comfort, for Dreda disliked stewed rhubarb almost as +much as suet itself. She pouted disconsolately for several moments, +then smiled with sudden inspiration. + +"I'll get a doctor's order!" + +"What for?" + +"Plenty of fresh ripe fruit. Vegetarian diet. Fruit, and cream, and +eggs during the summer heat!" + +"How will you manage to get it?" + +"I'll have something... I'll ask Rowena what's the best complaint: +headaches or dizziness, or feeling tired. I'll tell mother it's the +heavy food, and mother'll tell him, and he'll write to Miss Bretherton. +I shall eat strawberries, and watch you search for `brothers.'" + +Nancy stared solemnly with her long, dark eyes. + +"There was a girl here who tried that before--Netta Bryce. That very +same dodge." + +"Well?" + +"She wished she hadn't." + +"Why?" + +"Try, and you'll find out." + +"Nancy, you _are_ horrid. What happened to her? Where is she now?" + +"Dead!" croaked Nancy, and drew the screen around her bed. After that +Dreda might question as much as she liked, but she knew well that never +a reply would Nancy vouchsafe. It was really most tiresome! + +She lay awake for a good ten minutes pondering over what _could_ have +happened to Netta Bryce, and if she had died soon, and under what +conditions. Nancy was really the most aggravating of creatures! + +Besides Miss Drake, commonly called "The Duck," there were two other +resident teachers at West Hill. Mademoiselle--a tiny, pathetic-looking +little creature, warranted to fly into a temper in a shorter time, and +upon less provocation, than any other woman in the United Kingdom; and +Fraulein, a lumpish but amiable creature who gave lessons in German and +music. Miss Bretherton herself took the whole school for the morning +Bible lesson, and had a disagreeable habit of descending upon the +different forms at unexpected moments, and taking the place of the +regular teacher. Of course, the surprise visit invariably happened just +at the moment when the girls had "slacked," whereupon fright being added +to ignorance, they would make such a poor display that they themselves +were covered with confusion and their instructor with mortification. +Almost every day at dinner time two or three girls could be observed +with crimson cheeks and watery eyes gazing miserably at their plates, +when the beholders would nudge each other significantly, and exchange +glances of commiserating understanding. "Our turn next!" + +Two masters also visited the school. Mr Broun, the professor of music, +was a small, shaggy-looking personage, with a bumpy brow and eyes set +extraordinarily far apart. He was a born musician, and, as a +consequence, found it infinitely irritating to the nerves to be obliged +to teach young ladies who had not one note of music in their +composition, but whose parents considered an acquaintance with the +pianoforte to be a necessity of education. When one of these +unfortunates went up for her lesson, shouts and groans of despair could +be heard outside the door of the music-room, accompanied by the sound of +heavy footsteps pacing helplessly to and fro, and at the end of the +half-hour the victim would emerge, red and tearful, or red and defiant, +as her nature was, to recount gruesome stories of brutality to her +companions. "He rapped my ringers with his pencil. I won't stand it. +I'm sixteen. I'll write home and complain." Sandwiched in among the +poor pupils were one or two who possessed real musical ability--Nancy, +for instance, whose supple fingers seemed to draw mysterious sweetness +and depths from the keys of the well-worn piano--and in these cases the +lesson would extend far beyond its legitimate length and would take upon +itself something of the nature of a recital, as Mr Broun himself took +possession of the piano stool, to illustrate the effect which he wished +produced. Then the girls in adjoining rooms would find their attention +wandering from their books, and little groups "changing form" would +linger outside the door listening with bated breath. Ah! if one could +only play like _that_! + +Mr Minns, the mathematical master, was built on wires, and expected one +rapid explanation of the most complex rule to make it clear as crystal. +After twenty years spent in teaching, he _still_ professed to be +prostrated with horror at each fresh exhibition of feminine obtuseness, +and would groan, and writhe, and push his fingers through his hair, +until it stood up round his head like a halo. He was Dreda's special +_bete noire_, for, like many girls who excel in literature and +composition, she detested the sight of a sum and had never grown beyond +the stage of counting on her fingers beneath the table. If it had not +been for Susan's laboriously patient explanations, nothing could have +saved her from the most hopeless humiliation; but Susan had a gift of +apt and fitting words, and of inventing illustrations which showed +daylight through the thickest mist. + +She rose early and worked late in order to have time to spare for her +duties as coach, and Dreda was lavish in gratitude. + +"You really _are_ a saint! What should I do without you? Expire of +pure misery and despair. As it is, I'm dying of overwork. I've a buzzy +muzzy feeling in my brain which must mean something bad. Softening, I +believe. It _does_ come on from overstrain!" + +Susan would smile, her quietly humorous smile, at these exaggerated +statements, refusing to feel any anxiety about the health of such a +blooming invalid. + +Apart from arithmetic, however, Dreda made wonderful progress in her +studies. Her native quickness of wits stood her in good stead; she +learnt easily, and seized nimbly on salient points, so that, though her +knowledge was superficial, she was always ready with an answer, and +could enlarge so cleverly on what she _did_ know, that the gaps of +ignorance remained unsuspected. Susan, the prudent, shook her head over +this juggling with fate, and foretold confusion in the coming +examinations; but Dreda was content to sun herself in the present +atmosphere of approbation and leave the future to take care of itself. +Given a free hand by her parents, she had entered her name for every +examination on the school list, and hardly a day passed that she did not +propose a new scheme or exploit to her companions. + +The time for these propositions was generally the cherished half-hour +after tea, when the fourth form girls gathered round the fire in the +study to chat over the doings and happenings of the day. Then Dreda was +in her element, and every day, as it seemed, was filled with a fresh +ambition. + +"When does your school magazine come out next?" + +"Never! Haven't got one to `come out.'" + +"_Haven't got one_? A school without a magazine! How disgraceful! I +should be ashamed to confess it. Why haven't you?" + +"Too much fag!" + +Dreda gasped with horror. + +"Why, even at home, where we are only six, we have an--an--" She paused, +anxiously searching for a word which should be sufficiently vague--"an +_annual_, with stories, and illustrations, and correspondence columns +just like real. I was `Aunt Nelly' and answered the questions. Such +sport! ... `Yes, my dear, at fifteen you are certainly far too young to +be secretly engaged. Confide the whole story to your dear mother. A +mother is ever a young girl's wisest confidante.'--(Of course, no one +really asked me that. I made it up. You have to make up to fill the +page.) ... `So sorry your complexion is spotty. Rub it over with lemon +juice and oil. Never mind if you _are_ ugly. Be good, and you'll get a +sweet expression, and that is better than any beauty.' ... Ha, ha!" +She tossed her golden mane with a derisive laugh. "_Just_ like a real +mag.! Then I put things in for the boys, of course--got them out of +cricket reports and encyclopaedias--it looks out well to have learned +bits here and there. And you can give lovely hints! It would be +awfully useful in a school, because you could say whatever you wanted +without being personal ... `No! the old adage, "Finding is keeping" +does _not_ apply to your companions' indiarubbers and pencils. It is +not considered honourable in good society to pare off initials inscribed +thereon for purposes of identification.'" She chuckled happily. "Don't +I do it well? I really _have_ the knack! ... I can't think why you +don't have one." + +"How should we find the time?" queried Susan earnestly. "First to +compose the things--and then write them out neatly would take hours and +hours." + +"I would write them out. It looks ever so much better if it's all in +one handwriting." + +The girls exchanged glances. Dreda certainly wrote a very legible hand, +but they were already beginning to feel a trifle dubious about her ready +promises. + +"My dear, it would take _years_! You would never get through. Only +yesterday you were preparing us for softening of the brain from +overwork. You really must curb this overflowing energy." Nancy +narrowed her eyes in her most fascinating smile, in which still lurked a +spice of derision. "Your welfare is very precious to us; we can't +afford to risk it for the sake of a magazine!" + +Dreda flushed, and wriggled impatiently on her seat. She never could +tell whether Nancy was in fun or in earnest. + +"I am not proposing to take on more work. It would be a distraction!" +she declared loftily. "I love making up stories and poetry, and reading +what other people have written. I'd get up early, and do it in play +hours. It would be a labour of love. Besides, it would cultivate our +style. `The Duck' is literary herself. I dare say she'd let it count +as composition!" + +The girls brightened visibly at this suggestion. It would be distinctly +more amusing to write for their own magazine than to cudgel their brains +to produce a sheet full of ideas on the abstruse subjects suggested by +Miss Drake. They edged a little nearer the fire, straightened their +backs, and fell to discussion. + +"Perhaps she might." + +"We'll ask her." + +"She might be editor." + +"She could write a lovely story herself." + +"Bertha could illustrate. She draws the killingest pictures. There was +one of the fifth dormitory at 6 a.m. You saw all the girls asleep, and +their heads were killing. Amy had a top-knot that had fallen on one +side, Phyllis a pigtail about two inches long, and as thin as a string. +You know her miserable little wisp of hair. Mary was lying on her back +with her mouth wide open. It was the image of her. She's nearly as +good as Hilda Cowham. We might call her `Hilda Cowman' as a _nom de +plume_. Wouldn't it look professional?" + +Dreda was a trifle annoyed that the position of editor had not been +offered to herself as the originator of the movement, and she likewise +cherished the belief that she was entitled to take a prominent place as +illustrator; but she consoled herself with the reflection that when the +magazine was really started her previous experience could not fail to be +useful. + +"We'll have stories, and essays, and poetry, and competitions, and +advertisements at the end. You have to pay for advertisements, and that +pays for stationery." + +"What sort of advertisements?" + +"Every sort. Exchanging stamps and post cards, selling snapshots-- +anything you like. I should put: `Fifth form pupil will coach junior +for ten minutes daily in exchange for fagging: hot water, sewing on +buttons, darning, etcetera.' I'm not used to mending. It's the limit! +What shall we call it?" + +"The magazine? _The Grey House Monthly_--_Messenger_--_Herald_-- +something of that kind. We ought to bring in the name of the school." + +"I don't see why. I think it would be nicer without. Less amateury. +The--_Casket_. Wouldn't _Casket_ be good? It implies that it is full +of treasures." + +"_The Torch_! That's nicer than _Casket_, and sounds more spirited. We +could have a picture of a woman holding up a lamp, with the word +`Progress' written across the beams--like they do in the _Punch_ +cartoons. I think _Torch_ would be lovely." + +"Why not _Comet_?" asked Nancy in her brief, quiet tones, narrowing the +double line of black eyelashes as she spoke so as to hide the expression +of her eyes. + +There was a moment's pause, broken by Dreda's quick, suspicious +question: + +"Why _Comet_?" + +"Why not?" + +"Do you mean because of the _tail_?" + +"Comets _do_ have tails, don't they? So do magazines!" + +That was all very well, but the silence which followed the explanation +showed that suspicion still rankled. Dreda arched her eyebrows at +Barbara, who shrugged in reply. Susan wrinkled her brows, and Norah +pursed her lips. What was Nancy really thinking inside that sleek, +well-shaped little head? Comets appeared suddenly; remained to be a ten +days' talk and wonder, and then--mysteriously disappeared! +Instinctively Dreda stiffened her back, and registered an inward vow +that she would spare neither time nor pains to make the magazine a +permanent and shining light! + + + +CHAPTER ELEVEN. + +To the delight of Dreda, and the more subdued satisfaction of the other +pupils, a magazine received the sanction of the headmistress and Miss +Drake, provided that it did not aim at more than a quarterly appearance. + +"It will waken you up!" said the latter, smiling whimsically at her +pupils. "You are all rather apt to go to sleep at times, especially +when a little originality is desired; but remember that the magazine +receives official sanction as a means of education, not as a receptacle +for any rubbish you may choose to scribble. We'll have stories, of +course; but I have suffered under stories in other amateur magazines, +and am determined to raise ours above the usual level. Every girl who +wishes to write a story must draw out a synopsis of the plot and submit +it to me before she embarks on the task of writing it out. I will then +refuse or accept it, and in the latter case will talk it over with the +author, giving her some hints as to arrangement, treatment of points, +which will, I hope, be of value to the story. In fact, I should like to +have the entire synopsis of the magazine drawn up and brought to me a +month before publication. So what a Tartar of an editor I am going to +be! I have quite decided that if I am to get through the work at all, I +must have an understudy, a sub-editor, so to speak, who can keep the +contributors up to time, collect their suggestions, and submit them for +my criticism. It will involve a good deal of steady, methodical work. +I wonder--" + +"I'll do it, Miss Drake. Let me. I offered to be editor before." + +The words leaped from Etheldreda's lips before Miss Drake's eyes had +wandered halfway round the class. Mary's face wore its usual blank +stare, Barbara sniggled with obvious contempt, Nancy veiled her eyes +with her thick, dark lashes, Susan flushed suddenly a brilliant red. + +Both Miss Drake and Dreda herself were arrested by the sight of those +flaming cheeks, for Susan was, as a rule, so calm and self-restrained +that any exhibition of excitement on her part was bound to attract +attention. What was the matter? Why did she look so anxious and eager? +What were the words which seemed trembling on her lips? Dreda felt +complacently convinced that as her own friend and ally Susan was longing +to champion her cause. Miss Drake smiled and asked encouragingly: + +"Well, Susan, what is it? What were you going to say?" + +The red mounted higher and higher until it reached the roots of the +tightly brushed hair. Susan's very ears seemed aflame, and her voice +had the husky note of repressed excitement. + +"I--I was going to offer--I thought I could do the work for you, Miss +Drake." + +Etheldreda's gasp of dismay was heard throughout the room. Her cheeks +rivalled Susan's in their flame of indignation. _Susan_ to play her +false, to endeavour to wrest a coveted place from a friend! Susan an +enemy, a rival! Dreda felt a vehement, overwhelming disgust for the +whole universe and its inhabitants, a shattering of faith in every +cherished ideal! Never, no never again, could she bring herself to +believe in a human creature! + +The two girls sat silent, awaiting the mistress's decree, and Miss Drake +looked slowly from one flushed face to the other, her usually smooth +forehead showing two deep horizontal lines. It was her "thinking +look"--the look which she wore when she was trying to explain an +unusually difficult point in the day's lessons. The girls watched her +anxiously, saw the lines clear away, and the light of decision drawn in +her eyes; wondered if it were in imagination only that at the same time +they caught the sound of a faint sigh of regret. + +"Thank you, girls," she said slowly. "It is sweet of you both to be so +ready to help. I am ever so much obliged to you, Susan--but Dreda spoke +first. I think I will decide to give the post to her." + +Nobody heard any more than this, though Miss Drake continued talking for +several moments. Dreda was thrilling from head to foot with triumphant +joy. Susan's flush had deepened from crimson to an absolute magenta. +The other girls were torn between sympathy and amazement! For once in +their lives they were unanimous in condemnation of the beloved Duck's +judgment, and could not imagine what she had been dreaming about to +choose Dreda Saxon for a post of responsibility, when that most reliable +of Susans could have been had for the asking. No one made any remark, +however, and Dreda, glancing expectantly around, failed to meet any of +the congratulatory smiles which were surely her right on so auspicious +an occasion. The girls were sitting stiff and straight in their seats, +staring at their desks in their most prim and wooden manner. Susan was +the only one who ventured a struggling smile, and from her Dreda +contemptuously turned aside. Hypocrisy was a failing for which she had +no tolerance! + +It was with a visible effort that Miss Drake continued the discussion in +her usual bright, cheery manner. + +"The term is already a month old. I should like to have the synopsis of +the contents of the magazine by to-day fortnight--say the tenth of next +month. We can then allow three weeks for composition and a week for +typing, and still have the magazine ready a week before the holidays. I +have quite decided that everything must be typed: the effect, as a +whole, will be far better. Faults in style and composition stand out +before us in print as they never do in our own familiar handwriting. +Moreover, I have other schemes working in my head." She paused, smiling +mysteriously. "I won't explain now, but later on, perhaps ... Do your +best, girls! Some of you have real talent. Who knows, this little +venture may be the beginning of some great career. How proud I should +be in time to come if I could say of a celebrated author: `She was my +pupil. She wrote her first story or essay or poem for our school +magazine!'" + +She paused, looking round the class. Once more her gaze lingered on +Susan's downcast face, but there was no response in its immovable lines. +The other girls vouchsafed strained, uneasy smiles. Only from Dreda's +ecstatic eyes there flashed back a joyful comprehension. How beautiful +the girl looked! Her vivid colouring, all pink, and white, and gold, +made an almost startling contrast to the duller tints of the other +girls. + +It was impossible to resist the fascination of so fair a sight, yet +there was a touch of wistfulness in the teacher's smile. + +The class dismissed, it was time to go upstairs to dress for supper, and +Dreda found herself alone in the bedroom with her two companions. Nancy +peeled off her blouse, threw it upon the bed, and brushed out her heavy +locks in determined silence. Susan approached Dreda with a tremulous +smile. + +"Oh, Dreda--I'm glad! I hope the magazine will be a success. If I can +help you in any way do let me try." + +But Dreda glared at her with sparkling eyes. + +"You are _not_ glad! You tried your very best to be editor yourself, +though you _knew_ how disappointed I should be. I thought you were my +friend. You are not. You are an enemy, and not even an honest enemy at +that! You need not trouble yourself about me any more, for lessons or +anything else. I can get on quite well alone!" + +Susan shrank, as if from a blow. + +"Dreda, you are angry. You don't understand. It's no trouble. I love +to help you." + +"Much obliged. I don't care for such help. Please don't talk to me any +more. I _am_ angry. I have a right to be angry!" + +Dreda pulled her screen with a jerk, cutting herself off from the corner +where Susan performed her toilet. Seated on her bed, Nancy brushed at +her long, sleek hair, keeping it spread as a veil before her face. +Dreda waited in vain for a glance of sympathy, or understanding, but it +never came, even when Susan had crept softly from the room and the +constraint of her presence was removed. Nancy finished brushing her +hair, and rose to her feet in the lightest, most unperturbed of +fashions: + +"Got any pins you can spare?" + +Nancy was celebrated for the number of pins which she used in her +toilet. Things wouldn't fasten without them, she declared. She was +fairly bristling with pins, so that her most ardent adorers moderated +their embraces, mindful of the scratches which had been their reward in +days of inexperience. Dreda eagerly selected half a dozen of her most +cherished fancy-headed pins, and handed them across the bed. + +"Of course. As many as you like. I say, Nance, I'm sorry to have made +a scene. I _could not_ help it!" + +"Oh, don't apologise. I like a good row now and then. Not for myself-- +it's too much trouble--but it's amusing to listen to other people when +they get excited. They give themselves away so delightfully." + +Dreda flushed, and knitted her brows. + +"I wasn't at all excited in this case. I was angry--_righteously_ +angry! It's one's duty to protest against mean, underhand actions." + +"Such as wanting the best positions for ourselves?" + +"Certainly not. That is only natural ambition--laudable ambition. The +mean thing is to try to oust someone else--your own best friend, when +you know she could do it better than you!" + +"Yes!" mused Nancy thoughtfully. "That does sound mean ... This sub- +editor post is going to be so difficult that it ought certainly to go to +the right person. A careful, methodical, machine-like sort of creature, +who will never forget or let others forget. The girls are slack enough +about regular work, and will be a hundred times worse about an extra, +and The Duck is a tartar about punctuality. It's going to be a problem +to please them and `keep the peace.' But you have had a magazine at +home, so you know all about it. Susan has had no experience." + +Nancy had seated herself on her bed once more, her hands clasped round +her knees, her lips slightly apart, showing a glimpse of the golden bar +round the front teeth; her long, Eastern-looking eyes met Dreda's +without a blink, yet for some mysterious reason Dreda felt her cheeks +flush and a jarring doubt awoke in her mind. "A machine"--"never +forgetting--never late!" Not even her youthful complaisance could apply +that description to herself. The ghosts of past enterprises seemed to +rear reproachful heads, reminding her of their existence. To each of +the number had been sworn eternal fidelity, yet how short had been their +lives! The factory girl, for instance, who had received three long, +enthusiastic letters, and after the lapse of a year was still awaiting +the receipt of the fourth. Poor Emma Larkins had been so appreciative +and grateful. Dreda had been able to talk of nothing else for the first +week of the correspondence. She had planned a lifelong friendship, and +in imagination had seen herself, aged and wealthy, acting the gracious +benefactress to a second generation. _How_ had she happened to forget? +She had been busy, her father had taken her for a trip abroad, she had +joined a society for the study of French classics. The time had flown +by until she had been ashamed to begin writing again. No doubt another +correspondent had taken her place ... "_Susan has no experience_." +True! Yet if one wished to describe Susan's character, could one do it +more aptly than by using Nancy's own words? "Careful, methodical, +machine-like as to accuracy!" _What_ did Nancy mean? Was she really +and truly in earnest, or did some hidden meaning lurk behind the +seemingly innocent words? Dreda drew a long breath, and set her teeth +in the determination to set an example of diligence and punctuality to +all sub-editors beneath the sun, and by so doing to demonstrate in the +most practical of fashions her suitability for the post. + + + +CHAPTER TWELVE. + +All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy--and Jill a dull girl also. +Miss Bretherton was a firm believer in this old adage, and loyally tried +to provide a due proportion of amusement for her pupils. In the winter +terms bad weather often interfered with outdoor sports, but every +alternate Saturday evening a reception was held in the drawing-room +between the hours of seven and nine thirty, on which occasions thirty +pupils dressed for the fray with gleeful anticipation, and the thirty- +first with trembling foreboding, for it was she who was chosen to play +the part of hostess and take sole management and responsibility of the +entertainment. + +All pupils in the fourth and fifth term were considered old enough to be +hostesses, so that no girl was called upon to play the part more than +twice a year; but when the great occasions arrived, ambition mingled +with nervousness, and the heroine of the hour, calling to mind the +errors and failings of her companions, determined to profit by them, and +achieve a brilliant success for herself. + +The duties of the hostess were sufficiently onerous. She was +responsible for the arrangement of flowers in the drawing-room, could +distribute chairs and sofas as she thought fit, and punctually at seven +o'clock must be on duty prepared to receive her guests and direct the +passing round of tea and coffee. The first hour was dedicated to +conversation; for the second, some form of amusement must be designed +and arranged, and lastly, a sum of ten shillings had to be so expended +as to provide some form of light refreshment which should be consumed +before the company dispersed. + +To take the last duty first, ten shillings divided into thirty portions +(the younger pupils were not allowed to stay up for "supper") did not +allow a very handsome sum per head! Most hostesses came down and down +in their ambition until they reached the ignominious level of lemonade +and buns, but there had been occasional daring flights of fancy, as when +Nancy had provided thirty large sausage rolls, and the poor sufferers +whose digestions forbade playing with such dainties last thing at night +found no choice offered to them, and were obliged to retire to bed +hungry and wrathful. An hour's amusement was also somewhat difficult to +arrange, as nothing short of an official decree would induce a music +pupil to perform in public, a singer to sing, or an elocutionist to give +a recital. Paper games and competitions of a somewhat feeble nature +were the general refuge of the destitute, though each hostess started +out with the determination of hitting on something more amusing and +exciting. No difficulty as to amusement or provision, however, could +compare for one moment with the ordeal of that first hour, that hour of +reception and conversation, the horrors of which each fresh hostess +seemed to find more onerous than the last. To sail forward and shake +hands with Miss Bretherton in her best grey silk, to welcome her to her +own drawing-room, and engage in light conversation about the weather-- +could one imagine a more paralysing ordeal? Then no sooner was the Head +disposed of in one arm-chair, than in would come a party of your best +friends, all primed with mischievous determination to make you giggle, +and so reduce you to humiliation. While one was elegantly shaking +hands, a second was furtively pulling hideous grimaces, a third was +pinching your arm, and a fourth treading on your toe. Crimson-faced and +quivering, you would convey these last arrivals across the room and +introduce them to Miss Bretherton, for it was one of the tiresome rules +that no one guest was supposed to know another at the moment of entering +these social gatherings. Thick and fast they came at last, and more and +more and more, all needing to be welcomed with appropriate words, +conducted to seats, introduced, provided with tea. The poor hostess had +no time to think of herself, and her worst moments began when all her +guests had assembled, for then she must perforce watch for the moment +when conversation became forced and fitful and promptly move the pawns +about the board, introducing them to fresh pawns, lingering until +conversation was safely afloat! The members of the staff never deigned +to help the poor struggling novice in the art of entertainment; it was +darkly suspected that they rather added to her difficulties by adopting +haughty, reserved airs which called for greater displays of generalship. +With what a sigh of relief was the striking of eight o'clock greeted by +the harassed mistress of the ceremonies! + +Dreda Saxon's first experience as hostess arrived just about the middle +of the term, and, unlike her companions, she was greatly elated at the +prospect. No fears disturbed her night's rest; she received the half- +sovereign for refreshments as gratefully as if _it_ had been a fortune, +and graciously "allowed" a few favoured friends to join the troupe of +"dramatic impersonators" who were to provide the hour's amusement. + +Everyone wanted to be a dramatic impersonator. It sounded much more +exciting than sitting primly looking on beneath the eyes of the teaching +staff; but Dreda had made a careful selection of Susan, Nancy, Barbara, +and two lanky, overgrown third form sisters, Molly and Florry Reece, and +sturdily refused to add to their number. Norah West in especial was +much injured at being passed over, for she cherished a schoolgirl's +adoration for the quiet Susan, and until Dreda's appearance on the scene +had invariably been included in any scheme in which either she or Nancy +were interested. + +"I always did everything with everybody. I was always _in_ everything +until you came," she cried resentfully. + +"Were you? Dear me! Then you should be glad of a rest," responded +naughty Dreda, when, needless to say, Norah waxed more indignant than +before. + +"That Etheldreda Saxon is really getting insupportable," she announced +to her companions at dinner on Saturday morning. "A new-comer and a +fourth form girl, and she tries to boss the school. She's not a bit +good at her work either, except at things she can make up out of her own +head at a moment's notice. What right has she to give herself airs?" +The companion shrugged her shoulders with disappointing indifference. + +"I don't know. What does it matter? It pleases her, and it don't hurt +us. She's good at hitting on new ideas anyhow, and that's a comfort. +Dramatic impersonations sounds a lot better than paper games. I'm quite +looking forward to to-night." + +Now Norah had had paper games on a recent occasion when she had played +the part of hostess, so she felt herself snubbed, and sulked for the +whole afternoon, disdaining to take any notice of the whispering and +laughing, the rushings to and fro, the wholesale confiscation of +"properties," indulged in by Dreda and her troupe. + +When the evening arrived she put on her second best dress, and purposely +dallied until the very last moment before entering the drawing-room. +She wished and expected to annoy Dreda by slighting her hospitality, but +Dreda was too much absorbed in the excitement of the moment to remember +past differences, so that the reluctant Norah found herself greeted with +the most radiant of smiles, and was promptly escorted across the room +and introduced to Mademoiselle in characteristic fashion. + +"Mademoiselle, may I introduce my friend Miss West? Miss West is quite +a distinguished example of our _jeune fille_ sportive! I am sure you +will like to know her. Miss West--Mademoiselle Saudre." + +Mademoiselle chuckled with delight, and subdued splutterings of +amusement sounded round the room while the _jeune fille_ sportive took +her seat with a very red face, miserably conscious that she was +handicapped with a new nickname which would remain with her for the rest +of her school life. + +It was amusing to note the expression, half-approving, half-dismayed, +with which Miss Bretherton watched the self-possessed young hostess. +These evening At Homes had been instituted with the express design of +preparing the elder pupils to be of social use to their mothers on their +return home; to be able to make an introduction in due form, and to +overcome awkward self-consciousness. It was a trifle disconcerting, +however, to behold so very full-fledged a bantling, to find oneself +treated with benevolent patronage, and to see the old rules set at +naught in favour of startling innovations. Dreda had requisitioned two +of the maids to take charge of the tea-table, and ordered their +movements with the air of a commander-in-chief; she strolled about the +room--taking part in the conversations of the different groups, and, +when necessary, introducing new subjects with unblushing inconsequence. + +As, for instance: "Yes; it has been terribly foggy. Quite the worst +October on record. Have you ever been in Switzerland?" + +The startled hearers were dumb for some moments, and then one of the +number announced that she was going to Saint Moritz in January to take +part in the winter sports, whereupon everyone was full of interest and +curiosity, and Dreda swept onward to another bored-looking group, and +hurled another conversational arrow. + +At last--far sooner than usual, as everyone allowed--the clock struck +eight, and immediately the two maids came forward, and, still under +Dreda's superintendence, moved all the seats to the far end of the room, +shutting off the portion by the door by means of three outstretched +screens. The dramatic impersonations were about to begin! + +A scene from English history formed the first item on the programme, and +the screens being duly removed, an imposing figure was discerned +strutting slowly to and fro, clad in a white bath gown on which a +selection of shining dish-covers had been fastened with a very fair +effect of armoury. Behind this imposing personage paced two other +figures, cloaked and draped in would-be old-world fashion, who smirked +as they went, and, bowing and scraping, pointed mysteriously to a green +baize tablecloth stretched on the floor in mysteriously lumpy outline. +The haughty person in the dish-covers waved aside these confidences with +an air of impatience, then suddenly waxing wrathful, turned upon his +companions and issued dumb but imperious commands. A chair was +produced, and the attendants stood by in evident discomfort the while +their seated master pointed his hand rebukingly towards the green patch +on the floor. And then began a curious phenomenon, for the lumpy mass +beneath the green tablecloth suddenly awoke to movement; a rhythmical, +regular movement which swayed to and fro, up and down, creeping ever +nearer and nearer to the seated monarch. When at length the edge of the +cloth actually touched his august feet, horror and consternation were +depicted on the faces of the attendants, while their master arose in +leisurely dignity, and delivered in pantomime what was evidently a most +instructive and admonitory address. + +Hearty clapping and cries of "Canute! Canute!" from the stalls greeted +the end of this performance, whereupon the green tablecloth was hastily +thrown aside and the "waves" appeared in the persons of Molly and +Florry, somewhat hot and red in the face as a result of their seclusion, +but satisfied that their efforts had produced quite the most striking +effect in the performance. + +A bell rang. The screens were hastily pushed forward, and Barbara's +fingers could be heard laboriously pounding out her latest "piece" on +the piano, the while audible preparations were taking place for item +number two. Barbara was not musical by nature, and in addition to a +woodenness of touch, possessed a habit of playing the treble notes a +distinct beat in advance of the bass, peculiarly exasperating to her +instructress. Poor Fraulein! her expression suggested an attack of +indigestion rather than an amused spectator of a dramatic entertainment! + +Te-tum, te-tum, tum-tum! The last uncertain chords quavered to an end, +the screens were again withdrawn, and the stage was discovered full of +characters, dressed with some ingenuity to represent the principal +personages in "Young Lochinvar." In arranging the _dramatis persona_ +some difficulty had arisen from the fact that none of the girls was +willing to represent the elderly bridegroom so unflatteringly described +as "a laggard in love and a dastard in war." It was not an ingratiating +character, and Nancy and Barbara flatly refused to personate it. Susan +could do it, she was the smallest, and would best look the part. For +two minutes on end Susan stoutly refused to do anything of the kind, and +then placidly consented, being of a peace-at-any-price disposition, +which found it easier to submit than to preserve a determined +opposition. She submitted, therefore, and reaped her reward in the +shape of a costume which was beyond doubt the most striking in the +group. A Norfolk jacket, a shawl pleated to represent a kilt, and a +plaid thrown across her shoulders, were but insignificant details +compared to the delight of sporting a pair of whiskers manufactured out +of two long heads of pampas grass, so white, so silky, so bushy that +they had really to be seen to be appreciated! The pampas grasses had +been Dreda's inspiration, and when she had tied them securely into +place, run several long black crayon marks from nose to chin, and popped +a pair of spectacles over the eyes, behold the demure Susan transformed +into so comical an imitation of an old man that the spectators rocked on +their seats with merriment. There he stood, "plucking his bonnet and +plume," while Dreda simpered in a corner, and Nancy as Lochinvar +interviewed Barbara in the character of indignant father. Both actors +had donned imitations of the Scottish costume, and the former made a +picturesque figure as he led forward his lady love. + + "One touch to her hand, and one word in her ears, + And they reached the hall door, and the charger stood near." + +The charger was represented by an ancient and battered hobby horse, +astride which the eloping lovers galloped violently across the stage, to +disappear from sight through the open doorway. Confusion followed among +the spectators, who hurriedly supplied themselves with imaginary steeds +and galloped off in wild pursuit. + +Again there was no difficulty in guessing the poem represented, but long +and continued applause testified to the delight of the audience, while a +special call was given to the wearer of the pampas whiskers. + +After an interval of several minutes the screens were withdrawn for the +third impersonation, when an impromptu bed was beheld placed on the +extreme left of the stage. Lying snugly snoozled into a pillow was a +fair head, at sight of which the audience laughed uproariously, for the +head belonged to Dreda Saxon; but her fair hair, parted in the middle +and plastered straightly down on either side, gave a ridiculously staid +and old-world effect to her pink and white face. She snored gently, +unperturbed by the mocking laughter, and presently two stout dames +hurried into the room, and with a great show of agitation, roused the +damsel from her sleep. Her arms were thrust into a blue dressing-gown, +her bare feet into bedroom slippers, and, thus attired, she was escorted +past a second screen into the presence of two grave and reverend +segniors, who fell on their knees and humbly kissed her outstretched +hand. The ludicrous solemnity of Dreda's face beneath the plastered +bandeaux of hair brought down the house, and no one had the least +difficulty in recognising in the representation the youthful Queen +Victoria at the moment of her accession. + +There was only enough time left for two more representations: Sir Walter +Raleigh spreading his cloak on the ground so that Queen Elizabeth could +escape the mud, and a spirited rendering of Horatius keeping the bridge, +in which last representation Nancy won much applause as the "great Lord +of Luna" clanking a four-fold shield in the shape of large-sized tea +trays. The bridge was typified by a blackboard stretched between two +tables--and the manner in which Horatius made his final dive into a nest +of cushions was blood-curdling to behold. In truth, the hour's +amusement passed like a flash, and when Dreda in ordinary dress re- +entered the drawing-room at the head of her troupe, she was everywhere +greeted with congratulations and applause. + +"Supper" was another surprise, consisting, as it did, of fruit salad and +whipped-up cream. The fortunates who were first in the field waxed +eloquent in appreciation, but, alas! the cream soon fell short, and the +last helpings of "salad" were so small as to be almost invisible. + +"But some people are never satisfied," quoth Dreda scornfully. "What if +the salad _did_ run short! It was a feast of reason and a flow of soul. +I've no pity for a person whose mind can't soar above stewed prunes!" + + + +CHAPTER THIRTEEN. + +The energy with which Etheldreda the Ready set about her work as sub- +editor threatened to ruin the magazine before its birth, for intending +contributors grew so tired of daily and sometimes hourly reminders that +by the end of a week weariness had developed into right-down crossness +and irritation. "For goodness' sake leave me alone. I'm sick of the +name of the old magazine! If you worry me once more I won't do a +thing--so there!" Such answers were more than a little disconcerting to +one who had worked herself up to a white heat of enthusiasm, and could +neither think, dream, nor speak of any other subject under the sun. So +engrossed was Dreda in trying to keep other writers to the mark, that it +was not until ten day's of the allotted fourteen had passed by that she +set to work to think out her own contribution. It was to be a story, of +course--not a stupid, amateury, namby-pamby story, such as you could +read in other school magazines, but something striking and original, +that would make everyone talk and wonder, and lie awake at night. So +far so good; but when the time for writing it arrived it was +astonishingly difficult to hit upon a suitable idea! Dreda chewed the +end of her pen, wrote "Synopsis of Plot" at the top of her paper in an +imposing round hand with the downstrokes elaborately inked, dotted +wandering designs here and there, and cudgelled her brains for +inspiration. There must be a girl, of course--a girl heroine, blonde +and lovely, and an adventuress (brunette), and a hero. But she did not +intend to write a love story--that was piffle. Something _really_ +thrilling and dangerous! She mentally ran over a list of +misadventures--fire, flood, shipwreck. She had read of them all dozens +of times over; and, mentioned in a synopsis, they would have quite an +ordinary effect. It was after hours of anxious deliberation, during +which ordinary lessons went completely to the wall, that the brilliant +idea of an earthquake flashed upon Dreda's mind. An earthquake story +might be as complicated as one pleased, for all the superfluous people +could be killed off at the crucial moment, while legal papers and wills +could disappear, so that one could not even be expected to unravel the +mystery! She hovered uncertainly between three sensational titles--"A +Hopeless Quest," "For Ever Hidden," "In the Twinkling of an Eye!"--and +plunged boldly into the first sentence of the synopsis without having +the faintest idea how it should end: + +"A lovely young girl, Leila (English, yellow hair, sixteen) lives on a +beautiful isle which had been a volcano hundreds of years before. (This +will not be mentioned till the last, but mysterious remarks made about +rumblings, to prepare the mind.) Dolores (Spanish), aged seventeen, +pretends to be her friend, but is really jealous. They stay together at +a country house with a veranda, and exciting things happen. Leila is +supposed to be an orphan, and Dolores patronises her because she is +poor. An English officer comes to call, and staggers back at sight of +Leila. (He is really her father.) Dolores makes mischief, and +persuades him to leave her all his money. They go to the lawyers, and +Leila goes out for a sail in a boat to cheer her spirits. While she is +sailing, the volcano blows up and everyone is killed. Leila is picked +up by a passing ship, and inherits the money." + +Compared with this sensational programme, Susan's story promised to be +deplorably tame and uneventful, and Dreda curled her lip in scorn as she +read the neatly written lines: + +"I want to write the story of a man who was naturally very nervous and +afraid, but who hid it so well that everyone believed him to be a hero. +I want to show that he really did become brave, because his friends +believed in him, and he tried to be worthy of their trust." + +"Gracious! How dull. It sounds like a tract. Susan is a dear; but +she's a currant bun when all is said and done, and she can't get away +from it. They _are_ stodgers!" quoth Miss Dreda, with a shrug, as she +placed the paper beside her own in her desk. Her anger against Susan +had died a rapid death, for the double reason that she herself found it +impossible to harbour resentment, and that Susan steadily refused to be +a second party to a quarrel. Scornfully though her help had been +refused, she offered it afresh every evening, and after three days' +experience of struggle and defeat, Dreda was thankful to accept. + +"But you _were_ mean about the editorship, all the same. It wasn't like +you, Susan!" she declared severely, feeling it would be too great a +condescension to capitulate without protest. "You are generally quite +sweet about helping other people. I don't understand what you were +thinking about!" + +Susan's quiet smile seemed to express agreement with this last +statement, but she made no protest and allowed herself to be kissed and +petted with a condescending "We'll say no more about it, will we, dear? +Now for this exercise--it's a perfect brute!" + +It was only by dint of ceaseless entreaties and cajoleries that the sub- +editor succeeded in collecting a respectable number of entries for the +first number of the magazine before the appointed date, and if the +absolute truth had been known she was already feeling overweighted with +the cares of office. It was a fag to be worried out of one's life, and +as a result to be disliked rather than praised. + +"I shake in my shoes at the very sight of Dreda Saxon!" said Norah West +of the spectacles and freckles. "There's no peace in life while she is +on the rampage. This school has never been the same since she came. +She seems to have upset everything." + +Nancy offered to contribute an article on "Characteristics of School +Celebrities--Literary and Sportive," and refused to be coaxed to a more +decorous subject. "That, or nothing!" was her mandate, so down it went +on the synopsis, followed, by way of contrast, by Mary Webster's "Essay +on Ancient Greece," and the head girl's "Great Women of History." Beryl +Turner, who had a passion for figure drawing, unjustified by skill, +submitted half a dozen sketches of an impossible young woman apparently +entirely devoid of joints, to explain which she proposed to write a +story, thus entirely reversing the usual process of illustration; and, +fired by a desire to show her own artistic superiority, Dreda hastily +embellished her own paper with two vignette paintings of her own +heroines. Leila, with luxuriant locks of yellow, splashed with green, +and Dolores with inky hair and eyes of a rich gamboge. On the afternoon +of the fourteenth day of the month Dreda spent her recreation hour in +arranging the collected sheets to the best advantage, and in fastening +them within the cover of an old exercise book. She was aglow with self- +satisfaction at having accomplished her task in time, and intended to +lay special stress on the fact in her next letter home and so win from +the home circle that admiration and praise which her schoolfellows were +so slow to bestow. + +On the whole, she was well pleased with the result of her labours, and +looked forward with a lively curiosity to Miss Drake's comments and +criticisms. When the booklet was finished and a printed label pasted in +the middle of the black cover, she laid it carefully inside her desk and +went to rejoin her companions by the study fire. They stopped talking +as she approached, and began to "rag" in true school fashion. + +"Here comes our literary friend. Quite worn out with the strain of her +intellectual efforts! Sit down, my love, and calm your fevered brow!" +This from Barbara, while Norah cried scornfully: + +"Look at her fingers--inked to the joints! Anyone could tell she was a +budding author!" + +"Did you tie the papers together with blue ribbon? That's an absolute +necessity. I have a piece I could give you." + +"Thank you, Nancy. I'll accept it with pleasure--for my hair. The book +is finished and needs no trimmings. It looks beautifully neat and +professional. I can't show it to anyone until my--my colleague has seen +it and made her alterations; but as soon as it comes back--" + +She nodded in condescending fashion, and the girls chuckled and +exchanged twinkling glances. + +"`My colleague'! That's good!" + +"Good word, Dreda! Bring that in in your story. It has a fine effect." + +"I'm thankful it is finished at last. We shall be able to sleep in +peace to-night without being disturbed by your plunging and snortings. +I've always heard that geniuses were trying to live with, but they are +even worse by night than by day!" + +"At what time are you going to present the Opus to your colleague? +After prep, to-morrow? Then I beg to suggest that until it has been +reviewed and the verdict passed the subject shall be forbidden. The +strain is _too_ great!" + +Norah rolled her eyes, a performance rendered weirdly effective by the +presence of her large round glasses, and the other girls taking up the +clue, flopped in their seats, leant feebly against a neighbouring +shoulder, and fanned themselves faintly with their handkerchiefs. As a +rule, Dreda was as quick to take offence as she was to forgive, but this +afternoon she manifested no signs of irritation. "They laugh who win," +and no one could deny that she had won this time--won all along the +line--in gaining consent to the establishment of a magazine, in +obtaining the post of sub-editor; lastly, and most striking of all, in +being ready up to time, despite the gloomy prophecies to the contrary. + +For the next twenty-four hours she was her brightest, most charming +self, so radiant with happiness that she overflowed with sympathy and +kindness to all around. She nursed little Vida Neale, the baby of the +school, on her knee, and recounted such fascinating stories that earache +was forgotten in squeals of delighted merriment. She went up early to +dress for the evening and carried hot water to the cubicles of her four +best friends; she talked in the most amiable of fashions to poor, dull +Fraulein at supper; listened to remarks on the superiority of Germany +with a self-control bordering on the miraculous; and finally laid her +head down on the pillow of her bed with the feeling of being at peace +with all the world. + +"Prosperity suits me," she told herself, snuggling cosily beneath the +clothes. "It brings out the best points in my disposition. I ought +never to be crossed!" + +The next morning passed slowly. Dreda did not distinguish herself at +lessons, and it was with a somewhat strained manner that Miss Drake +crossed the room to speak to her at the end of the preparation hour. +She had been obliged to find fault with her new pupil several times in +the course of the day's classes. There was that in her manner which +showed that she feared lest yet another reprimand might be necessary. + +"Dreda, have you remembered that to-day is the fifteenth of the month?" + +"Yes, Miss Drake." + +"Have you the synopsis of the school magazine ready to show me?" + +"Yes, Miss Drake." + +"Quite ready?" + +"Yes, Miss Drake." + +The Duck smiled her prettiest, most approving smile. + +"Good girl! I like punctuality. Bring it up to me now, please, in my +sitting-room." + +"Yes, Miss Drake." + +Up the stairs ran Dreda, light of foot, bright of eye, heart beating +high with happiness, into the bare empty schoolroom, where the windows +stood open and the fire smouldered on the grate. She switched on the +electric light, crossed the floor to her own desk, and threw open the +lid. Stupid! She had imagined that she had left the manuscript book on +top ... How came she to be mistaken in so strong an impression? + +... She lifted a pile of exercise sheets, pushed the books aside, and +scattered miscellaneous possessions to right and to left. Her eyes +distended as if about to fall from her head. She sank back on a chair +and gazed stupidly before her. The synopsis had disappeared! + + + +CHAPTER FOURTEEN. + +The synopsis had disappeared! Incredible though it seemed, it was but +too true. For the first few minutes Dreda was too much stunned to move +from her seat, but presently with a painful effort after self- +possession, she arose, and began hastily lifting the contents of the +desk, and dropping them one by one on the floor. In this way it seemed +impossible to overlook anything, but still no sign of the shining black +cover met her sight. She scooped everything together with impatient +fingers, pushed them back into the desk, and ran breathlessly into the +study. + +The girls were amusing themselves in various fashions after the fatigues +of "prep.," but one and all looked round with expressions of +astonishment at the violent opening of the door which heralded the +unexpected appearance of the sub-editor, white-cheeked, and tragic of +demeanour. + +"What in the world's the matter?" + +"The list! The synopsis! It's gone! It was in my desk. Miss Drake +sent me for it. She is waiting for me now, and it's _gone_: I can't +find it. Has anyone moved it? Does anyone know where it's gone?" + +The girls' faces lengthened; there was a moment's tense silence, then +everyone spoke at once. + +"_Dreda_! How dreadful! Are you _sure_? In your desk? No one would +take it out of your desk!" + +"Dreda! You are _always_ mislaying your things. You have put it +somewhere else. _Think_! Remember your keys! You vowed you had put +them in your glove drawer, and they were found in the box with your best +hat." + +"Have you been upstairs to look in your cubicle?" + +Dreda stamped with impatience. + +"Of course I haven't. My cubicle, indeed! As if I would keep a book +there! It was in my desk, I tell you. I left it there last night. I +saw it with my own eyes this morning. Oh! don't ask silly questions-- +don't waste time. She is waiting for me. What am I to do?" + +"Come!" cried Susan quickly, and sped upstairs towards the classroom, +while Dreda followed hard in her wake, leaving the other girls to +discuss the situation round the fire. The universal impression was that +Dreda had stowed away the book in some hiding-place, and had promptly +forgotten all about it. She was always doing it; never a day arrived +but she went about inquiring in melancholy accents if anyone had seen +her indiarubber, her penknife, her keys, her gloves. She was always +leaving things about, and, upon suddenly discovering their presence, +popping them into impromptu hiding-places to save running upstairs-- +behind a photograph, in an empty flower-pot, beneath a mat or cushion, +anywhere and everywhere, as circumstances prompted. Nothing was certain +but that nine times out of ten she would forget the whole incident, and +would have no better clue to help her in her search after the missing +article than that she had put it "somewhere!" + +"Poor old Dreda!" said Barbara sympathetically. "Hard lines, when she +has worked so hard! The Duck will be down upon her like a ton of +bricks. She loathes untidiness. Poor old Dreda--she'll get a rowing +instead of praise. It's tragic when you think of that fine cover, and +all the beautiful black letters!" + +"She's been an awful bore. It will do her good to be taken down a bit." + +"Poor Dreda all the same. Things that do you good are so _very_ +disagreeable. I like her enthusiasm, when it doesn't interfere with me! +And she's a real good sort. A bore at times, but a good little +meaner." + +"It's no use meaning, if you don't perform, where The Duck is concerned. +I wouldn't be in her shoes." + +Meanwhile Dreda had turned out the contents of her desk for a second +time, while Susan stood anxiously looking on. When the last paper had +fluttered to the ground, the two girls faced one another in eloquent +silence. + +"It isn't there," said Susan at last. "There must be some mistake. +Think, dear! Are you _quite_ sure that you put it here, and nowhere +else? What did you do after you finished binding the papers? Where did +you go? Think of everything you did." + +"But I did nothing!" cried Dreda miserably. "I only dressed and went +down to supper. I never took it out of this room at all--I'm certain, +positive--as certain as I'm alive!" + +"But we could look. It is worth while looking. We must find it!" + +But at this very moment the door of Miss Drake's room opened, and a +quick voice called out a summons. + +"Dreda! I am waiting. Kindly come at once." + +The colour ebbed still further from Dreda's cheeks, her eyes grew wide +and tragic, she extended her hands towards Susan, as if mutely appealing +for help, and felt them clasped with a strong protecting pressure. + +"You must go, but I'll search. I'm a good looker, you know. Poor +darling! It _is_ hard, but I'll help--I _will_ help." + +Then Etheldreda the Ready threw her arms round her friend's neck and +cried brokenly: + +"Susan, dear Susan, you are good, and I love you! I was horrid about +the editorship... You would have been far better than I. This is my +punishment--I have brought it on my own head." + +Her voice was so sweet, her eyes so liquid and loving, she drew herself +up and marched to her doom with so gallant an air, that her faithful +admirer thought instinctively of the martyrs of old. She turned and ran +hurriedly upstairs. + +Meantime Miss Drake sat looking towards the door with an impatient +frown. The frown deepened at sight of Dreda's empty hands, and she +tapped on the table with the end of her pencil. Dreda's heart sank +still further at the sound which Miss Drake's pupils had learnt to +associate with their blackest hours. + +"You have kept me waiting for ten minutes, Dreda. Where is your +manuscript? I have no time to waste." + +"I--I--can't--I can't find it, Miss Drake." + +Miss Drake leant back in her chair and became in a moment a monument of +outraged dignity. Looking at her, it was impossible to believe that one +had even ventured on the liberty of calling her by so familiar an +epithet as "The Duck." She turned her long neck from side to side, +elevated her eyebrows, and cleared her throat in an ominous manner. + +"I am afraid I don't understand. You told me a few minutes ago that +everything was ready." + +"So it was. In my desk. I left it there last night--I went to find it +just now, and--it's gone! Disappeared. I can't _think_ what has +happened. It was bound like a book. It looked beautiful. It's not my +fault!" + +"Nonsense, Etheldreda!" cried Miss Drake sharply. "If you had put it in +your desk, it would be there still. This is just another example of +your careless, unmethodical habits. You have put the book in some +unlikely, out-of-the-way corner, and have forgotten all about it. I +feared some _contretemps_ of the kind, and was much relieved when you +told me that all was ready. I am very much disappointed and annoyed!" + +"Miss Drake, it _was_ there! I'm absolutely positive. I never was +surer of anything in my life than that I left it there last night, and +saw it again this morning." + +Miss Drake shrugged her shoulders expressively. + +"Extravagant assertions do not prove anything, Etheldreda. In a case of +this sort I judge by previous experience. I have repeatedly warned you +about your careless habits, but apparently without success. In this +case you had a responsibility to fulfil for others as well as yourself, +which should have made you doubly careful. You had better continue your +search in the other rooms." + +"It is no good, Miss Drake. The book _was_ in the desk." + +Dreda kept her place stolidly, and there was a settled conviction upon +her face which Miss Drake was quick to note. She watched the girl in +silence for several moments, her brow knitted in thought, then suddenly +her expression softened and her voice regained its habitual kindly tone. + +"If you put it there, my dear child, it must be there still. Perhaps it +is! I know your sketchy fashion of looking. See! I will come and help +you to look again. Perhaps we shall find the book hidden away in a +corner where you have never thought of looking!" + +Dreda thought ruefully of the scattering of her treasures which had +twice over left the desk bare and empty, but it seemed easier to allow +Miss Drake to see for herself than to protest any further; so she meekly +opened the door and followed the governess down the passage. From above +could be heard the voices of the girls ascending to dress for the +evening; doors opened and shut, and echoes of suppressed laughter +floated to the ear. Everybody, Dreda reflected darkly--everybody was +happy but herself! She led the way to her desk and opened the lid, +revealing the confused mass of books and papers. She was miserably +resigned to receiving yet another lecture on untidiness, but The Duck +smiled in a forbearing fashion, and said: + +"You _have_ been making hay of your possessions! No wonder you could +not find what you wanted. Now what was this book like? You said that +the papers were bound." + +"A shiny black cover with a paper label on the back." + +Miss Drake lifted up the loose papers with her pretty white hands, laid +them daintily on one side, and proceeded to examine the exercise books +one by one, while Dreda stood by in hopeless silence. One might search +all day and all night, but it was impossible to find what was not there. +Her eyes looked listlessly on the map book, the arithmetic book, the +French exercise book; even the big untidy note book roused no flicker of +animation, though if it chanced to fall open it would reveal caricature +drawings of school authorities which must needs draw confusion upon her +head. She would never have the heart to draw caricatures again! The +thick book with the mottled cover contained the compositions which had +won praise and distinction. She had felt so proud of the "Excellent" +written in pencilled letters at the end of the final sentences. Never +again would she know what it was to be happy and gay! The big drawing- +book must have suffered from its fall--for the leaves appeared to be +bent and doubled back. Dreda felt the calm indifference of despair, but +Miss Drake frowned and made a clicking sound of disapproval. + +"My dear! Your drawing-book! You are really incorri--" + +She stopped short in the middle of the word, for the moment that the +drawing-book was opened her quick eye had caught sight of a shiny black +cover behind the crumpled papers. She lifted it rapidly, saw the +printed label on the back, and held it out towards her pupil with a +mingling of triumph and impatience. + +"My dear Dreda! What did I tell you? All this fuss for nothing. You +are really too trying. Why didn't you look properly before coming to +me?" + +Dreda's exclamation of bewilderment was echoed by another, as Susan +entered the room on her return from her unsuccessful search upstairs. +She added her own quiet testimony to Dreda's excited protestations that +the synopsis was not, could not conceivably have been in the desk when +she had turned it out ten minutes before, but Miss Drake refused to +listen. Her temper was ruffled, she enforced silence with an imperative +gesture, bade Dreda follow her to the study, and seated herself at her +desk with her most severe and school-mistressy expression. + +As for Dreda, she feebly dropped into a chair and sat staring blankly +before her, the image of limp dejection. The very stars in their +courses seemed conspiring to fight against her, for no ordinary, every- +day reason could explain the extraordinary happenings of this afternoon! +She was so stunned and bewildered that she forgot to watch the effect +of the great synopsis on the Editor-in-chief, and so missed a delightful +study in expressions, as The Duck's irritation gave place to smiles and +dimpling spasms of amusement. It was only after she had finished the +reading (after all the labour of production what a short time it took to +read), and had asked a word of explanation, that Dreda seemed suddenly +galvanised into fresh life, but as usual with her, when the awakening +came, it came with a vengeance. She leapt to her feet, and disregarding +the question, launched her thunderbolt with dramatic vehemence. + +"Miss Drake, I wish to resign being editor." + +"Do you, Etheldreda? Why?" + +The voice was so calm, Miss Drake's whole manner so devoid of surprise +or chagrin, that Dreda felt as if a douche of cold water had been +suddenly poured down her back. No kindly protests, no encouragement, no +sympathy. Nothing but that cool, level "_Why_?" She stood gaping and +hesitating, for in truth it was hard to answer. To say that she was +sick of the whole thing because she had encountered a few initial +difficulties and worries seemed mean and poor-spirited, and Dreda could +not think so lightly of herself. In the minute of hesitation she had +lightly brushed aside difficulties, and felt a swelling of righteous +renunciation. + +"Because--I want Susan to take it. She would do better than I." + +"Have you only just discovered that, Dreda?" + +The question was put in a tone which Dreda had never heard before from +Miss Drake's lips--a tone so tender, so gentle and conciliatory, that it +startled as much as the words themselves. Dreda stared, the colour +paling on her cheeks, her hands clenched at the back of her chair. What +did it mean? Susan had volunteered her services, and Miss Drake had +deliberately rejected them in favour of herself, and now she said, she +implied-- The girl's lips quivered as she spoke again: + +"You _chose_ me!" + +"Why?" asked Miss Drake once more, in the same gentle voice. "_Why_, +Dreda? Think a moment! Does it not occur to you, dear, that I might +have chosen you, not because the work needed _you_, but because you +needed the work? Your duties called for patience, and perseverance, and +method, and punctuality, and neatness, and tact--all qualities which +needed development in your case; while in Susan's--" + +"You would rather have had Susan! You didn't really want me at all!" + +The bitter disappointment in the girl's voice went to the hearer's +heart. It was one of the hardest tasks which she had ever had to +perform to answer truthfully, and so give another pang to the sensitive +young heart. The colour rose on her cheeks and her brows twitched +nervously, but she would not allow herself to prevaricate. + +"Yes, Dreda, dear. For the sake of the work I should have preferred +Susan, but I wanted to help you to get the better of your failings. I +wanted it so much that I was prepared to undertake the extra work which +your carelessness might involve, for the magazine could not be allowed +to suffer. I am afraid it is painful to you, dear, to hear this, but if +your vanity is wounded, you can comfort yourself with the remembrance +that I was so much interested in you, so anxious for your improvement, +that I rejected a most capable helper on your account." + +"Thank you!" sighed Dreda faintly. There was not a sign of irritation +or resentment in her manner, and her thanks were evidently genuine. She +might have posed as an image of humility and abasement as she stood with +bowed head and downcast eyes before the desk. The swing of the pendulum +had brought her into the valley of humiliation, and in characteristic +fashion she felt a melancholy pleasure in playing her part as thoroughly +as possible. "Thank you. You are very good. I am very grateful. We +have to learn our lessons in life, I suppose, but it's hard at the time. +It's been a great _shock_, but it's good for me, I suppose. I can +never be careless again. I've read in books about something happening +and finishing the girl's youth. I feel like that now! You meant me to +learn, and I _have_ learnt, so there's no need to go on. You can have +Susan, and no more bother--" + +Miss Drake's lips twitched in a smile which fortunately Dreda did not +see. + +"I think not, Dreda. I should prefer to keep to present arrangements. +If you have really learnt your lessons so quickly there will be no +`bother' to fear. You may go now, dear. We will discuss the synopsis +later on. I dare say you will like to have a little quiet time before +dinner. Come to me to-morrow at the same hour." + +Dreda backed silently from the room a picture of tragic despair, and +slowly mounted to the dormitory where the faithful Susan awaited her +coming. The two girls faced one another in silence for several moments +before Dreda spoke. + +"Susan! on your word of honour will you answer me a question +truthfully?" + +"Yes, Dreda, of course I will." + +"Why did you offer to be sub-editor after I had asked?" + +Poor Susan! The freckles disappeared in a crimson blush which mounted +to her temples, and tinged her very neck beneath the stiff brown band. +She twisted her fingers together, and stammered incoherent nothings. + +"Go on! You promised. The truth, and nothing but the truth." + +"Dreda, dear--" + +"Go on! I'm prepared. I've suffered so much humiliation already that a +little more or less doesn't matter. Well?" + +"I thought--I was afraid--I didn't want you to get into trouble, dear. +You are so clever, and original, and sparkling, it is natural that you +should get tired. I am just a dull, plodding old machine." + +Dreda bent her tall young head and kissed her friend with an air of +humble adoration. + +"You are good and true, and I wronged you. I thought you were as +despicable as myself. All my life long I shall try to be worthy of your +forgiveness. My heart's broken, Susan! Everyone despises me in this +school, and I've an enemy, a secret enemy, who is hiding like a snake in +the grass. You know perfectly well that that book was not in the desk +when we looked!" + +Susan was silent. She was as sure of the fact as it was possible to be, +but her cautious nature reminded her of the possibility of mistake, and +she would not venture on a definite assertion. + +"I _thought_ it was not; I _thought_ we turned out everything." + +"I _know_ we did! It was the work of mine enemy. Some day I'll +discover her, and then--" + +Susan looked sharply upwards. + +"What then?" + +"I'll heap coals of fire on her head! I'll forgive her, and try to lead +her into better ways. That's all that's left to me now--to be a beacon +to others!" Dreda's voice shook, her composure breaking down before the +force of her own eloquence. She sank down on her bed, and the tears +rolled down her cheeks. "Oh! Oh! My heart will break. If it wasn't +for the exeat next week I should lie down and die. I'm going home! +They love me there. I never, never valued it before. I'm going home to +mother and the girls!" + + + +CHAPTER FIFTEEN. + +It was a very subdued, a very humble, a touchingly affectionate +Etheldreda who made her appearance at The Meads a few days later, and +her mother and sisters regarded her demeanour with anxious curiosity. + +"Poor darling, poor darling! She is so sweet and quiet--I'm glad, of +course; _very_ glad," repeated Mrs Saxon, with a forced emphasis, which +seemed to show that she needed to convince herself of her own sincerity, +"but it seems so short a time to have brought about such a change. I'm +afraid she has been unhappy!" + +Rowena stared thoughtfully at the fire. Her face looked older, the +cheeks less rounded, the red lips dropping at the corner. She was a +beautiful girl, but the old sparkle had given place to an air of weary +endurance sad to see on a young face. At the moment when she had +expected most of life, she had been obliged to give up her dreams, and +to accept in their place a monotonous, uneventful existence, which left +too much time for the indulgence of her own thoughts. The weather was +depressing, visitors few and far between, and, from a girl's point of +view, lacking in interest when they did arrive. Maud was stupid and +obstinate, Dreda and the boys at school, and the parents depressed. +Lessons, walking, and practising occupied the days until four o'clock, +then the curtains were drawn, the lamps lit, and each afternoon afresh +Rowena counted up the long hours which must elapse before bedtime, and +asked herself how she could get through the time. Poor Rowena! She had +counted the days until Dreda's return, and now felt yet another pang of +depression at meeting this subdued edition of her lively sister. She +sighed in melancholy, long-drawn fashion, while Maud wriggled and +grimaced. + +"I expect she's _misunderstood_. There's lots of people are, besides +the book. I know One who is. She's misunderstood by people who think +they know best, and are always scolding and finding fault. `'Tis better +far to rule by love than fear.' _I_ shall, when I'm big. You could do +something then, but when people are always grumbling, it's no use +trying. I expect Dreda has some one like that, and it's broken her +spirit. If you don't let her leave, she'll pine away and die!" + +"Is that what you contemplate doing yourself beneath the persecution of +the people, or person, to whom you so eloquently refer? I must give you +a lesson in nominatives to-morrow, my dear. They are evidently another +point which is misunderstood," retorted Rowena with cutting composure. +It was one of the little encounters which was daily, almost hourly, +taking place between the two sisters, whose widely differing +dispositions seemed to jar more than ever in the close relationship of +teacher and pupil. Mrs Saxon was greatly troubled by the continual +friction, and she, like her daughter, had been anxiously looking forward +to Dreda's visit as a healthful enlivening influence which could not +fail to do good. And now Dreda was so mysteriously subdued and silent! +What had happened to change the child so strangely in six short weeks? + +As for Miss Dreda herself, she was not only conscious of, but felt an +acute enjoyment in observing the anxiety of her relatives on her behalf, +and, like a true actress, warmed to her part under the consciousness of +an audience. The more intently did her mother's eyes regard her, the +more meek and downcast became her air; she figuratively turned the other +cheek to Maud's tactless sallies, and played humble handmaid to Rowena's +lightest wish. For one whole day--and then of a sudden weariness fell +upon her. She reflected with horror that only two more days of the +exeat remained, and determined to waste not another moment in repining. +Within five minutes' time from the forming of this decision Maud was +dumbfounded to find herself brutally snubbed, while a request from +Rowena was received with a callous exhortation to "Do it yourself!" + +"I was wondering how long it would last," said Rowena, with a smile. +"It was really an admirable impersonation, but what was the idea, Dreda? +I can't quite see what you were driving at, but I suppose there was +some reason behind!" + +"Yes, there was; several reasons! I've recovered, Rowena, because I am +young and elastic, and time is a wonderful healer--but I've been through +awful difficulties! Treachery and humiliation, and things turning to +dust and ashes when you expected to enjoy them most. Talk of +martyrdoms!"--Dreda rolled her eyes to the ceiling--"I look back, my +dear, to the time when I lived quietly at home, and I can't believe it +was the same person!" + +"Rubbish! Bunkum! Bosh! What high-falutin' you talk, Dreda! You're +not changed a bit, and I'm glad of it, for, oh, my dear, I _have_ missed +you! I've been _so_ dull! Come down from your stilts and talk +sensibly. I'm aching for a good old talk." + +Dreda beamed with delight. Here was appreciation! No sign of +superiority, no condescension from a young lady in long frocks and done- +up hair towards a schoolgirl fledgling, but an open avowal of need, an +invitation to a heart-to-heart talk on a basis of affectionate equality. +She clasped her hands together in the intensity of her delight, and +hitched her chair nearer her sister. + +"Yes, yes, let's talk, let's--let's _grumble_! We're both in the dumps, +and it's so cheering to grumble and get it off your mind. Go on, you're +the eldest--you've the first turn. Is it Maud?" + +"Oh, Maud! Maud is enough to drive anyone crazy; but she's only a +part." + +"What's the rest?" + +Rowena leant her head on her hand and stared out of the window. The +garden was dank and deserted, the country beyond showed no sign of +habitation; the wind moaned among the tall, bare trees. + +"Dreda," she asked unexpectedly, "am I pretty?" + +Dreda's grey eyes widened with surprise. + +"What in the world has that to do with it?" she asked curiously. +"Pretty? Yes, of course. Awfully, when you're in a good temper. We +all are. It's in the family. Do you know what Susan calls us?--the +youngest Currant Bun, you know--`The Story-Book Saxons.' Isn't it a +jolly name? Because, she says, we look as if things would happen to us +like they do to people in a book." + +"Well, they don't to me, anyway. That's just it! What's the use of +being pretty if one is buried alive? Think of it, Dreda! nothing has +happened all these six long weeks, except old ladies coming to call, and +going to tea with mother at the vicarage. I should think there never +was such a dull place. We didn't notice before, because it was holiday +time, and the house was full, but it's awful for a permanency. The +nearest interesting girl lives four miles off, the others are too boring +for words. I asked one of them if there were ever any dances, and she +laughed and asked whom we should dance with. There are only three young +men within a radius of miles. There might perhaps be a Hunt Ball at C-- +next autumn. ... And I thought I should have a London season!" + +Dreda meditated, hunched up in her chair, her chin resting upon her +hand. For the moment the scarcity of dances did not affect herself, but +she loyally endeavoured to regard the situation from her sister's point +of view. + +"Are the three young men _nice_?" + +"Oh, my dear, what does it matter? There aren't enough of them to +count. Bob Ainslie is one; he used to come over to umpire for the boys' +cricket matches. You remember him--freckles and stick-out ears. He has +a moustache now. I expect he's quite nice, but he is _not_ exciting. +Another is Frank Ross, at the Manor House--I believe he is generally in +town. And that nice old Mrs Seton has a son, too. He's handsome; I've +seen him riding along the lanes; but, of course, he doesn't pay +afternoon calls. What are you to do in a neighbourhood where there are +no nice girls, and two and a half young men?" + +"Improve your mind!" returned Dreda glibly. "Providence evidently +doesn't mean you to move in the social round. Perhaps if you had, you'd +have grown proud and worldly. I think myself you _would_, for I saw +symptoms of it before we left town. Perhaps you've got to be +chastened--" Dreda stopped short with a hasty remembrance that she had +promised to sympathise, not exhort, and added hurriedly: "Maud's enough +to chasten anyone! It's sickening for you, dear, for you would have had +lots of fun, and been the belle wherever you went. Let's pretend the +Hunt Ball is to-night, and you are going to make your _debut_, a radiant +vision in white satin--no, satin's too stiff!--silver tissue. Yes, yes! +Silver tissue--how perfectly lovely!--and a parure of matchless +diamonds flashing like a river of light upon your snowy neck." + +"_Debutantes_ don't wear diamonds, and it's not snowy. These boned +collar bands leave horrid red marks. An antique medallion of crystal +and pearl swung on a silver chain--" + +Dreda pranced up and down on her chair in delighted appreciation. + +"Yes! Yes! You're splendid, Ro; you know just what to say! And a +feather fan, with a tiny mirror let into the sticks; dear little silver +shoes with buckles, and a single white rosebud tucked in your hair below +your ear. That's the place they always put it in books. It would fall +out before the first waltz was over, but no matter! Then your opera +cloak. That must be white, too--ermine, I think, or perhaps white fox, +worth hundreds and hundreds, that a Russian prince had sent you in token +of his devotion. Oh, my dear, my dear; what an _angel_ you would look!" + +Rowena laughed gaily. Her cheeks had grown pink, and her blue eyes +sparkled with enjoyment. + +"Dreda, Dreda! What a mad hatter you are! Where _did_ you get such +ridiculous ideas?" + +But it was evident that the ideas, ridiculous though they might be, were +by no means unpleasing, and Dreda was about to venture forth on a fresh +flight of imagination when, to the annoyance of the sisters, the door +opened and Maud, the stolid and unimaginative, stood on the threshold. + +"No admittance, Maud. Go away! We're having a private talk." + +"I can't go away. It's business. Something awful's happened!" +announced Maud calmly. "A man's called, and Mason said mother was in, +and she's out, and he's in the drawing-room, and it's rude to send him +away. I came to tell you." + +"A _man_! What man?" + +"The Seton man. The young one with the nose." + +The two elder girls exchanged quick, eloquent glances. + +"Are you _sure_ mother is out? She was in half an hour ago." + +"She's out now. She went across the fields to bandage the hand of the +baby that the kettle scalded in the white cottage in the dip. You'll +have to see him instead." + +Rowena turned a face of despairing resignation upon her sister. + +"In this blouse! A flannel blouse. Oh, Dreda--the contrast. Think of +the silver tissue!" + +Dreda looked, and her face was eloquent. Truth to tell, the flannel +blouse, though neat and tidy, as were all Rowena's garments, could by no +manner of means be called becoming. It did seem tragic to appear to an +interesting stranger under such disadvantageous circumstances. + +"You must change it!" she cried hastily. "Put on your blue dress; you +look ripping in that. I'll go in for a minute, and tell him to stay +while I run for mother; by that time you'll be ready, and can talk till +she gets back. I'll tell Mason to get tea. Fly! You are so quick, you +can be ready in five minutes." + +Rowena flew, and Dreda smoothed her hair with her hands and prepared to +leave the room in her wake, but Maud's square figure blocked the way, +and Maud's voice demanded instantly: + +"And what shall _I_ do?" + +"You? Nothing! It's not your affair. Go up to the nursery and keep +quiet." + +Maud gurgled with indignation. Not her business, indeed! She who had +been first on the scene, and had carried the message! Dreda was +hateful! Simply hateful! After pretending to be so good, too. +"Nursery, indeed! _I'll_ show her!" growled Maud eloquently. + +Guy Seton was standing before the fire as the door opened in +Etheldreda's impetuous hand, and the man and the girl stared at each +other in mutual admiration and approval. "Fair hair, clean shaven, +twinkly eyes, big shoulders, Norfolk suit, gaiters. I do _love_ men in +country clothes," decided Dreda in a mental flash. "Halloa! whom have +we here? A schoolgirl daughter. What a pretty, bright-looking girl!" +thought the young man almost as quickly. Then they shook hands and +Dreda plunged into explanations. + +"How do you do? It's so stupid. Mother's out! The maid didn't know, +but she has gone across the fields to see a little boy who upset the +kettle. Burnt, you know! Mother dresses it. If you will sit down and +wait a few minutes, I'll run and bring her back." + +Mr Seton smiled, a delightful twinkly smile. + +"Oh, please don't hurry her. I should be so sorry. You mustn't trouble +about me. I can call another day." + +But this was not at all what Dreda desired, and her voice took a tone of +keen personal entreaty as she replied: + +"Oh, please don't go away! Mother can finish the dressing and be back +in ten minutes from now, and I've ordered tea, and my sister will give +it to you while you wait. We have so few callers, and it's such a dull, +wet day. Do _please_ stay and have tea!" + +At that the smile gave place to a laugh. Mr Seton found it altogether +delightful to be welcomed in so appreciative a fashion, and told himself +that it was a treat, indeed, to meet a girl so natural and unaffected. +He made no further demur, but when Dreda left the room sat down in a +comfortable chair and stretched his long legs towards the fire, smiling +to himself with obvious enjoyment of his recollections. It was indeed a +grey wintry afternoon, and he was by no means averse to sitting by this +cheery fire, looking forward to tea and further conversation with "Miss +Golden-locks." + +And the sister who was to entertain him meantime--that must be Miss +Saxon, the grown-up daughter of whom he had heard, though he did not +know her by sight. He did not care for grown-up girls as a rule, they +were too self-conscious and self-engrossed--schoolgirls were far more +fun. Then the door creaked once more, and he started to his feet to +behold a square, stolid form advancing towards him, and to receive a +pompous greeting from Maud, who had waited only until Dreda was safely +out of the house, and had then hurried into the drawing-room determined +to enjoy "her turn" before Rowena arrived. + +"How do you do? My mother will soon be here. My sister has gone to +fetch her. I hope you are quite well." + +"Perfectly so, thank you. I hope you are the same. To whom have I the +pleasure of speaking?" inquired Mr Seton, with a sudden change of +demeanour which said much for his powers of adaptability. With Dreda he +had been all candour and friendliness; confronted with Maud he became at +once a solemn model of decorum. + +"I am Maud--Maud Saxon. We are all named to match, because we are +Saxons by name as well as appearance. You are the Mr Seton who lives +in the grey house at Fenley. I have seen you on the roads riding a grey +cob with a white nose." + +"Very probably. He is a great treasure. Are you interested in horses? +Perhaps you ride yourself!" + +"I did once, but I don't now. We're _rejuiced_!" announced Maud, +rolling out the new word with an enjoyment at which the hearer had much +ado to retain his composure. "We used to keep five horses, and ride in +the Row, but horses cost too much now. Stables and grooms, and things +to eat, and, of course, they may die. We've got nothing now except the +car, and that saves money, for you can bring home the stores from the +station, and drive Dreda to school, and save the fares." + +"Just so," said Mr Seton dryly. "Gars are most useful. Especially in +the country." Maud had taken possession of a chair at the opposite side +of the fireplace, and as he looked at her square, solemn face, he prayed +that it would not be long before Mrs Saxon and her elder daughter +returned. "Do you also go to school?" + +"No," Maud pursed her lips with an injured air. "Dreda was going to a +finishing school in Paris this term, and I had a resident governess. +Then--we were `rejuiced,' and she had to go to a cheaper one at Horsham. +That was her _trial_. There are horrid girls there, and she's +misunderstood, and when she came home she was so quenched you wouldn't +know her, but after a day she was just as bad as ever. And our +governess went away, and Rowena teaches me, to save expenses. She hates +it, and so do I. She hasn't enough patience for training the young." + +Guy Seton privately thought that quite a large stock of patience would +be required to train this particular specimen of the young. He was +embarrassed by the personal note of Maud's confessions, and cast about +in his mind for a means of changing the conversation. The elder sister! +Was she in the house? Could she be expected to appear? + +"Is Miss Saxon at home? I should like to see her before I go." + +Maud nodded solemnly. + +"She's coming! She's changing her dress. She had on a flannel blouse, +and rushed upstairs to put on her best frock when she heard you were +here." + +"You little wretch!" cried Guy Seton, mentally. The colour mounted to +his face in mingled anger against the offender, and sympathy for the +absent sister whose efforts on his behalf had been so ruthlessly +betrayed, but before he had time to reply in words a sudden sound from +behind attracted his attention, and he turned, to behold the blue-robed +figure of Rowena standing in the doorway, her face white and set, her +wide reproachful eyes fixed on her sister's face! + + + +CHAPTER SIXTEEN. + +It was an awkward moment for all three occupants of the room. The young +man stood, flushed and silent, looking from one sister to the other, +conscious of an increasing anger towards Maud, and a kindly and +chivalrous sympathy for the confusion of her sister. Poor girl! She +was too young, had too little experience of the world to carry off the +situation with a laugh. A young woman of society would have seized the +opportunity for cementing a friendship, would have swept gaily forward +holding out her skirts, and laughingly demanding his approval, but +Rowena could do none of these things, her utmost efforts could succeed +only in hiding the signs of confusion beneath a frosty coldness of +demeanour. + +How unnatural was this manner was plainly demonstrated by the behaviour +of the offender herself. At the first moment of Rowena's appearance +Maud had appeared embarrassed indeed, but with a fearful joy mingling +with her shame, the joy of one who has greatly dared, and is prepared to +endure the consequences; but when Rowena swept forward, calm and +stately, when she seated herself and began to talk polite nothings, with +never so much as a word or a glance in her own direction, then, visibly +and unmistakably, terror fell upon Maud's childish heart--she made a +bee-line for the door, and slunk hastily out of sight. + +"Little wretch!" soliloquised Guy Seton once more. "Lands me into this +pleasant position, and then sneaks away, and leaves me to fight it out +alone! Poor little girl!"--this last epithet obviously did _not_ refer +to Maud! "Hard lines to arrive at such an awkward moment. Furious, of +course, with the whole three--the child for speaking, with me for +hearing, with herself for having given the opportunity! Such a pretty +frock, too; and she is ripping in it! Jolly good of her to have taken +the trouble, but now I suppose she'll hate the sight of me, and bear me +a lasting grudge. Hope to goodness Golden-locks is not long in coming +back!" + +"Quite a chilly wind. We are so very exposed and open in this house!" +Rowena was saying in high, artificial tones. She hailed the arrival of +tea with evident relief, and the conversation flowed on a trifle more +easily when there was something definite to do; nevertheless both heaved +sighs of joy as the sound of Dreda's high, cheery voice was heard from +without, and she entered the room by her mother's side. + +Guy Seton privately expected Rowena to follow Maud's example and quietly +disappear, so he admired all the more the pretty little air of dignity +with which she stuck to her post and forced herself to take her natural +part in the conversation. + +"Plucky little girl! Stands to her guns, and won't allow herself to run +away," he told himself approvingly, as he proceeded to unfold the object +of his visit. + +"We are arranging a small frolic for Friday in the shape of a paper- +chase. Everybody within five miles is coming on horseback or bicycles, +as suits them best, and we ought to have a good run. We start at eleven +prompt from our gates, and return for a scramble luncheon at about two. +I hope you will all come!" + +His glance wandered from Dreda to Rowena--the first he felt sure would +accept with enthusiasm; the latter he feared would politely refuse; but +Rowena smiled again, her set meaningless little smile, and allowed a +subdued murmur of thanks to mingle with Dreda's rhapsodies. It was +cleverly done, for without being in any way committed she had escaped +drawing attention upon herself by a refusal; nevertheless as he met her +eye, and held her limp, unresponsive hand in his at parting, Guy Seton +felt more convinced than ever that whoever else might honour his paper +chase, Miss Rowena Saxon would not be among the number! + +He walked down the drive twirling his stick in a threatening manner, his +face grim and set. It was bad luck indeed to make such a bad beginning +with one of the prettiest and most attractive-looking girls he had ever +met, and a near neighbour into the bargain. He had a momentary vision +of Rowena spinning along on a bicycle, her fair face flushed with +exercise, her sweet eyes alight with interest and excitement; and of a +sudden it seemed a dull, senseless thing to fly over the country-side, +with ordinary everyday neighbours and friends. _How_ ordinary and +everyday they seemed, when contrasted with Rowena's stately young grace! +And now she was prejudiced against him for ever, and at this very +moment was probably denouncing her sister's stupidity, and vowing never +willingly to meet him again! + +Rowena, however, was doing nothing of the kind. Calm and composed, she +sat on beside her mother and Dreda, and declared that the idea of a +paper-chase failed to attract her, and that she had no intention of +tiring herself out, and running needless risks by riding breathlessly +across country on so stupid and frivolous an aim! Mrs Saxon was both +puzzled and disappointed, while Dreda expostulated in her usual violent +fashion. + +"Rowena, how mad! How idiotic! What are you raving about! What's the +use of grumbling and growling because there's nothing to do, and no one +to see you, and then the moment anyone appears--such a dear, too, with +such sweet, twinkly eyes!--to behave like a cold-blooded frog, mincing +your words, and looking as if you were made of ice, and then saying you +won't go, when it's a chance of no end of fun, and seeing everyone there +is to be seen! Idiotic!" + +"Dreda! Dreda, dear, really is it necessary to be quite so violent?" +Mrs Saxon shook her head in smiling reproach, and Rowena tilted her +chin in air, but Dreda refused to be suppressed. + +"Oh, mum, dear, _let_ me speak as I like! We have to be so proper at +school. You can't say a word of slang while the govs. are about, and +ordinary language is so _tame_. You can't make a really good effect +with ordinary words. Suppose I said to Rowena: `Your conduct, my dear, +is inconsistent, with your sentiments as expressed in conversation,' she +wouldn't mind a bit, but when I call her a frog she's furious. Look how +she's wagging her head! You can always tell by that when she's in a +bait." + +"Really, Dreda!" cried Rowena in her turn. She rose from her seat, and +sailed haughtily out of the room, disdaining to bandy words with so +outspoken a combatant. In truth, she herself was bitterly disappointed +in being forced--as she thought--to refuse Mr Seton's invitation, the +possibilities of which appealed to her even more strongly than to her +sister. To meet a party of young people, to wheel gaily along in the +brisk, keen air, laughing and jesting as in the old happy days; to +return tired and hungry to the hospitable scramble luncheon--to sit +around the fire rested and refreshed, feeling as if those few hours of +intimate association had been more successful in cementing friendships +than many months of ordinary association. Oh, how tempting _it_ +sounded! What a blessed change from the level monotony of the last few +months! And she needs must give it up, and stay quietly at home, +darning stockings, or writing orders to the "Stores," because Maud's +blundering tongue has laid her dignity so low, that everything else must +needs be sacrificed to its preservation! _Rowena is putting on her best +dress_--_she had on a flannel blouse, and she ran to change it because +you were here_! One would need to be nineteen once more to realise the +shame, the horror, the distress with which poor Rowena recalled those +thoughtless words! She pressed her hands against her cheeks, and gave a +little groan of distress. It was characteristic of her that the one +thing she now asked was that no one else should know of her humiliation; +her mother might remonstrate, and Dreda declaim to her heart's content, +but nothing on earth should induce her to disclose the real reason of +her refusal. As for Maud, having done the mischief, she might be +trusted to keep quiet for her own sake; and even with her, Rowena would +have kept silence if she had been allowed. Beyond an added touch of +dignity, there was no change in her manner towards her younger sister, +but, strange to say, the culprit was by no means satisfied to escape so +easily. Maud suffered from an insatiable desire to be observed, and--so +to speak--live in the public eye. If she could be observed with +admiration, so much the better, but given a choice between being +disgraced or ignored, she would not have hesitated for the fraction of a +moment. Better a hundred times to be scolded and denounced than to be +passed by in silence as if one were a stick or a stone. So it happened +that when Rowena treated her with stately indifference, Maud found it +impossible to keep silent. + +"You might as well say it out!" she declared, wriggling about in her +seat, and pouting her lips with an air of offence. "I hate people who +bottle things up when all the time you see them fizzling inside. I +suppose you're furious with me about what I said." + +Rowena drooped her eyelids, and smiled a smile of haughty detachment. + +"It is a matter of perfect indifference to me _what_ you say." + +"It was quite true!" + +"Perfectly true. I should be the last person in the world to accuse you +of imagination." + +"You _were_ furious. You went white with rage, and he saw it as well as +me. Now, I suppose you'll tell mother, and stop me going to the chase." + +"I should not dream of interfering with your plans. It is a matter of +perfect indifference to me whether you go or stay." + +"But,"--Maud's eyes positively bulged with excitement--"I might say +something else. You never know." + +"Possibly you might. What then? Do you really imagine, my dear Maud, +that anyone notices what _you_ say!" + +Maud wriggled and spluttered, trying in vain to think of something +scathing to say in return. Compared with this lofty indifference the +most violent denunciations would have been enjoyable. "Nobody noticed +what she said!" Rowena could not have launched an arrow which would +have rankled more bitterly. For the remaining hours of that day Maud +crept about with a melancholy hang-dog expression, taking little or no +part in the general conversation. + +The next morning Rowena held firmly to her decision, and the two younger +girls were obliged to start without her, Maud unfeignedly relieved, +Dreda irritated and perplexed. Something must have happened to account +for so unreasonable a change of front, something that had been said or +done during that quarter of an hour during which she herself had been +absent from the drawing-room. So much was certain, but what could it +be? Rowena refused to be questioned, and Dreda was all unsuspicious of +the fact that Maud had ventured to interview the visitor on her own +account, and so had no suspicions in her direction. The first doubt +arose when Guy Seton shook hands with both sisters as with old friends; +this fact, combined with Maud's blushing discomfiture, gave Dreda a +flash of insight, but for the moment she was more occupied with the +young man's very evident disappointment at Rowena's absence. + +"Is Miss Saxon not coming?" + +"No. I'm so sorry. She sent apologies." + +"Is she quite well?" + +"Oh, yes, thanks." Dreda was too honest to plead the conventional +headache. "She said two were enough. She is going to bicycle to +Smitton this morning for some stupid messages. I did my best to make +her come." + +"I'm sure you did," said the young man kindly. Dreda, looking at him, +saw him murmur "Smitton" below his breath, and knit his brows in +thought. A minute later he walked away to speak a few farewell words to +the hares, who were mounted on horseback, bearing fat bags of paper +fragments on their saddles, after which he returned with a smiling face +to keep Dreda entertained until "The Meet" had begun to assemble. +Excitement and anxiety not to be late had caused the sisters to arrive +before their time, but Dreda could not regret the fact, for it was so +interesting to watch the new arrivals on horseback and bicycles; to +greet old acquaintances, be introduced to new, and finally to meet a +beam of welcome from Susan's brown eyes as the Currant Buns wheeled up +in a line. Even the sober Mary had condescended to join the chase. + +"Fresh air is a tonic. With so much mental exercise on hand I +considered it would be a saving of time to spend a day in the open," she +said confidentially to Dreda, as she polished her glasses on a large +pocket-handkerchief, and replaced them over the red rim on her nose. +Dreda sidled carefully away from her side, and when the moment came for +the start, was delighted to find Guy Seton riding determinedly by her +side. + +"I thought you would be on horseback," she said, then looking at him +with faintly curious eyes: "Why aren't you, when you have a horse all +ready? It's so _much_ more interesting than bicycling." + +"Sometimes," said Guy, smiling. He waited a moment or two, and then +added tentatively: "If you are fond of riding, and would accept a mount +sometimes, I'd be delighted to give you one. Our horses have not half +enough exercise. I've a nice quiet mare--" + +"Oh, thanks, but give me spirit! None of your quiet mares for me. But +I am at school; there's no chance for a free day for another three +months. This is only the exeat; we go back to-morrow, worse luck!" + +"To-morrow! That's very soon. I'm glad I arranged the chase for to- +day. You are at Horsham, aren't you?" + +Dreda turned her head quickly. + +"Yes! Who told you?" + +"Your sister. The young one--the one who is here to-day." + +"Oh, Maud! Did she come into the drawing-room with Rowena yesterday?" + +"Before then. She amused me after you left until Miss Saxon arrived." + +"Oh-h!" Dreda's face clouded uneasily. How had Maud amused him? What +had she said? In what fashion had she managed to prejudice Rowena +against so amiable and kindly a neighbour, for she had now not a +moment's doubt that Maud was the cause of the trouble. She determined +to put a few leading questions. + +"What else did she tell you? She's a dreadful child. We never know +what she is going to say next. I don't believe she knows herself. What +did she say?" + +"Oh, nothing particular! G-general information--don't you know--general +information," stammered Guy Seton uncomfortably. But Dreda was not to +be put off the scent. She stared at him fixedly, noted his rising +colour, and nodded in quiet conviction. + +"I know! I can guess one thing at least. She told you we were +_rejuiced_." + +"I--I--" he began to stammer again, but the corners of his mouth +twitched, and the next moment they were laughing together in hearty, +youthful enjoyment. + +"Too bad of you! Why are you so abnormally sharp? Have pity on my +embarrassment," he pleaded, while Dreda shook her yellow mane in +derision. + +"You are not embarrassed a bit! You laughed before I did! It's easy to +guess, because that's Maud's favourite subject at present. She +overheard the servants talking, and took a fancy to the word, and now +she drags it in on every possible occasion. What else did she say? +Anything about me?" + +"Er--er--" + +"She did! I know she did. Don't try to deny it. Was it--nice?" + +"Er--" stammered Guy Seton once more, whereupon Dreda drew herself up +with sudden dignity. + +"You shouldn't have _allowed_ it! She is only a child; you should not +have allowed her to talk personalities--" + +"But I tried to stop her--I did, indeed! I was most uncomfortable. I +tried to change the conversation, but it was no good. Please don't +scold me, I've suffered enough as it is!" + +"_How_ have you suffered?" Dreda's eyes widened eagerly. Now she was +on the track of the mystery, and determined to push her inquiries until +all was made plain. "_Who_ made you suffer?" + +"Miss Sax--," said Guy involuntarily, and then quickly drew himself up. +"I mean--it's rather awkward for a fellow, don't you know, to listen to +things that he ought not to hear--that are not his business--that would +annoy other people if they happened to overhear." + +He flushed as he spoke, and Dreda beamed at him with undisguised +approval. He was so boyish and honest, so blunderingly transparent, +that she felt quite elderly in comparison--a very Sherlock Holmes of +diplomacy! + +"And what was it that Rowena _did_ overhear? Oh, I guessed there was +something! She would never have refused to come to-day unless something +had happened to offend her. She has such a dull time of it, poor dear, +and she loves a change. What did Maud say?" + +"Miss Dreda, if your sister didn't tell you herself, do you think I +ought to repeat a thing that has already annoyed her?" + +"Certainly you ought. It's my business to know, so that I can make +things right. I could easily explain--" + +Guy gave a short, irritated laugh. + +"There's nothing to explain! Your young sister made an indiscreet +remark which Miss Saxon overheard as she came into the room. It is only +human nature, I suppose, to vent her annoyance upon me, but it's hard +luck all the same, for I could not help myself, and it was horribly +embarrassing for me too!" + +"But _what_ did she say?" + +Then with another twitch of the lips Guy repeated Maud's betrayal, at +which Dreda was at once horrified and amused. + +"The little wretch! I shouldn't have minded a bit myself, but when you +are grown up it's different! Poor old Ro! It was my fault, for I made +her do it. I wanted you to see her in that jolly blue." + +"Thanks, so much! It was worth seeing; but it's a pretty big price to +pay if your sister is prejudiced against me for life. Perhaps you had +better not refer to the subject directly. If I read her aright the less +that is said about it the better she will be pleased; but if you get a +chance you might speak a good word for me sometimes. I'm not such a +conceited fool as to imagine that she took any more trouble for me than +she would have done for any other caller who happened to come along, and +I've a wretched sort of memory. If I choose to forget a thing, it's +surprising how easily I can do it. It would be so jolly if she could +manage to forget it too, and start afresh." + +"Leave it to me!" cried Dreda, with the air of a young oracle. She had +not the slightest idea what she was about to do, but, as ever, had not +the slightest doubt of success in tackling a difficult situation. For +the moment, however, she felt that she had devoted enough attention to +Rowena's affairs, for the excitement of the paper-chase increased with +every mile as the track was discovered, only to be lost again and again, +forcing the cavalcade to wheel about in all directions searching for the +little snow-like flakes of paper which were again to guide them forward. + +When a couple of hours had passed Dreda was quite oblivious that the +circling paths had led the chase to the little village of Smitton, and +was therefore overcome with surprise to come face to face with no less a +person than Rowena herself at the corner of the high road. Rowena would +have passed by with a bow, but she was instantly surrounded by a little +party of friends, all eager to greet her, and to inquire why she had not +joined the chase. Guy Seton dismounted with the rest, and stood +silently in the background until the first rush of inquiries were over, +when, meeting Rowena's eye, he made a simple straightforward request. + +"As you have finished your messages, Miss Saxon, won't you join us for +the rest of the morning? We could send a wire from the post office if +you think Mrs Saxon would be anxious. Please say yes!" + +There was nothing extravagant about the manner of his invitation, +perhaps in courtesy he could hardly have said less, but there was a +transparent sincerity about those last three words which it was +impossible to ignore. Rowena hesitated. Poor Rowena! What a morning +of heartache and disappointment it had been. Ten minutes ago, five +minutes ago, she had been wheeling along her solitary way, all +melancholy and dejection, and behold, one turn of the road and she was +in the midst of a merry cavalcade, and the chance which she had thrown +away was once more within her grasp. + +She hesitated, and half a dozen voices answered in her stead. Of +course, she must come! Of course! After this fortunate meeting she +could not be allowed to escape. She could not be so cruel as to refuse, +and then once again Guy Seton's voice repeated those three quiet words: +"Please say yes!" + +Well, she was only longing to accept, and having been duly entreated, +gave way with a blush and a smile which made her look as pretty as a +picture. The cavalcade carried her off in triumph, and Guy Seton kept +discreetly in the background, waiting until time should give him his +opportunity. His acquaintance with this charming girl had had an +unfortunate beginning; he was determined that no haste or imprudence on +his own part should give it a second check, but that afternoon Master +Leonard Merrick, the hare, went home, made happy by a tip the amount of +which was truly princely in his schoolboy estimation! + + + +CHAPTER SEVENTEEN. + +Six months had passed by. The elder pupils at Horsham had gone +tremblingly through the ordeal of the Oxford senior examination in July, +and Mary, having achieved distinction in three separate subjects, was +now busy preparing for the mathematical group of the Cambridge higher +local examination in December. She was eventually going on to college, +and intended to devote her life to teaching, to which prospect she +looked forward with an equanimity which Dreda regarded with mystified +amazement. + +"And you _like_ it! You are content to think of spending your life in a +schoolroom, going over and over the same dull old books, Mary! How +_can_ you?" + +But Mary could very easily, it appeared. + +"Why not, Dreda?" she inquired. "The books are not dull to me, and +surely it is a noble and interesting life to hand on the lamp of +learning from one generation to another. It's the work that appeals +most to me. Ever since I was a child I have wished to be a +schoolmistress." + +"Oh, well, I shouldn't mind it myself--for a time," Dreda conceded +carelessly. "When one has suffered under the yoke, _it_ would be a kind +of satisfaction to boss it oneself for a change. I'd quite like to be a +headmistress--a horribly strict Head--and make all the girls c-c-ringe +before me--for a term, say; but after that--no thank you! I want a +wider scope for my life than a stupid old school-house." + +Mary smiled, in an elderly, forbearing fashion. + +"We are all different, dear Dreda. It would not do if we were made +alike. You and I have not the same vocation." + +"No; I shall marry," announced Dreda, blandly unconscious of the +inference of her words. "I am one of the old-fashioned womanly +girls--(it says in the papers, `Would there were more of them!')--who +shine best in their own homes. I'm not learned, and I don't pretend to +be; but I can keep house, and order servants about, as well as anybody, +and I intend to be very hospitable and give lots of dinners and parties +and make my husband proud of me by being the best-dressed woman in the +room, and so witty and charming that everything will go with a roar. +That's all I want. I haven't an ambitious nature." + +Mary's long upper lip looked longer than ever as she listened to this +egotistical tirade. She was a plain-looking girl, and the lack of +humour in her composition made her somewhat dull and unattractive in +manner; but she possessed great strength of character, and was never +found lacking in the courage of her opinions. Her opinion at this +moment was that Etheldreda Saxon needed a downright good snubbing, and +she set herself to administer it without a qualm. + +"My dear Dreda, there is nothing in the world you understand as little +as your own character. I never met a girl who was so blind to her own +defects. Not ambitious! How can you say such a thing in the same +breath as that in which you express your longing for admiration? One +may be ambitious for unworthy aims as well as for worthy ones; and your +desires are all for poor, worldly things which pass away, leaving no one +better or wiser. It is false modesty to say you are not clever; you +would not allow anyone else to make such a statement unchallenged. If +you chose to exert yourself to overcome your faults of carelessness and +frivolity, you might take a very fair average position among your +companions." + +To say that Dreda was taken aback by this very candid criticism of her +character is to state the matter far too calmly. She turned white with +agitation, and the pupils of her eyes dilated until they appeared to +cover the entire iris. It was characteristic of her that it was not +anger which so affected her, but real honest horror and distress that a +fellow-creature should live and entertain so poor an opinion of her +delightful self. She was not, it was true, particularly devoted to +Mary, but it had never for a fraction of a second occurred to her that +Mary could be otherwise than enthusiastically loyal to herself. And now +that the horrible truth was disclosed, her absorbing desire was to +reform so mistaken an attitude of mind as speedily as possible. + +"Oh, Mary!" she cried tragically. "How you misjudge me! How little you +know my real inmost nature! Ask mother--ask Rowena--ask anyone who +knows me well; they will all tell you the same thing--I am all heart. I +live on my affections; I don't want anything but just to be happy, and +have people love me. What have I ever said or done to you that you +should think such perfectly horrid things? It hurts me to be +misjudged--it hurts awfully! It's like a knife sticking into my heart." + +"Because you want to be praised, and can't endure reproof, even if it is +for your good. It isn't _pleasant_ to find fault, Dreda," declared Mary +judicially; "but if I don't speak out I may blame myself in the future. +I am afraid of what may happen if you float along as you are doing, +blind to your own failings. Some day something may happen to put you to +the test, and then you will _fail_, and be humiliated in your own eyes +and those of the world." + +Dreda regarded her with eyes full of a solemn reproach. + +"May you be forgiven, Mary! I forgive you. I'm sorry for your want of +charity and understanding. I'm not surprised that you don't understand +me; we are made on such different lines; but you ought not to judge.--I +don't judge _you_. I think you are very painstaking and industrious. I +bear you no ill-will, Mary. I'm only sorry for you." + +So far from being melted by this touching forgiveness, Mary flushed with +anger, shrugged her shoulders impatiently, and turned back to her desk, +whereon lay the first lines of an essay on one of Addison's "Spectator" +Essays. An extract from the essay had been given as subject, with the +significant words: "Discuss this," inscribed beneath, and Mary's mood +was not improved by the fact that with regard to ethical sentiments she +seemed to have no idea to discuss. She was fifty times more at home +with cut-and-dried figures about the correctness of which there could be +no two opinions, whereas Etheldreda the Ready was invariably in the +front rank for compositions. The two girls were indeed made "on +different lines," and at that moment Mary was not unnaturally provoked +to be confronted by a task in which Dreda was undoubtedly her superior. + +Dreda was laboriously amiable to her opponent for some days after this +"heart to heart" talk, but the endeavour to pour coals of fire was so +obvious as to be more irritating than soothing, and Mary had no wish to +reopen the discussion. "I've warned her--she must go her own way now. +_My_ conscience is clear," she told herself stoically, and Dreda went +her own way--danced gaily along it, so to speak, and had no thought of +danger. She had become accustomed to school routine by this time, and, +like most girls, found interest and enjoyment in the full busy life and +in the companionship of her kind. She was a favourite with both +teachers and scholars, and Susan's quiet devotion could always be +counted upon in those moments of need which seemed to be inevitable +occurrences in her life. Dreda forgot, and Susan reminded; Dreda +procrastinated, and Susan hastened to the rescue; Dreda grew discouraged +and Susan cheered; Dreda failed, and Susan succoured; yet with such +diffidence were these services performed that self-love felt never a +wound, and Dreda was left with the agreeable sense of having conferred, +rather than accepted, favours. + +"You turn yourself into a nigger slave for Dreda Saxon," grumbled Norah +of the spectacles one day when she and Susan walked together in the +"crocodile" along a dull country lane. "A regular black, cringing +slave--and what thanks do you get for it, I'd like to know? None! Not +one little scrap. She's such a bat of self-conceit that she doesn't +even know that she _is_ helped. If you did a hundredth part as much for +other people they'd go off their heads for joy!" + +The spectacled eyes rolled wistfully Susan-wards as the last words were +spoken, for Norah cherished a schoolgirl's sentimental devotion for her +companion, and could not overcome her chagrin at being so completely +eclipsed by a new girl--a girl, moreover, who had given to her the +undignified nickname of "Gig-lamps," which had been instantly adopted by +the whole school. She gazed at Susan as humbly as a dog begging a +favour from its master's hand, but no favour was vouchsafed. + +"I don't want Dreda to be grateful. I need no thanks. I love her so +much that it is my greatest pleasure to be able to help her," said +little Susan proudly; but when Norah persistently demanded to know why +she had no answer to give. In truth, she herself was sometimes puzzled +to account for her own devotion to the hasty, undisciplined creature who +fell so far short of her ideal feminine character. Susan's quiet brown +eyes were not blinded; probably no girl in the school was more conscious +of Dreda's faults, yet her love lived on unchecked by the discovery. +She did not realise that it was Dreda's personal beauty and charm which +had captivated her imagination, and that all the starved instincts of +her beauty-loving nature were finding vicarious satisfaction in +another's life. Susan had lived her life in a prosaic household, where +beauty was the last consideration to be taken into account. If an +article had to be bought, Mrs Webster gave consideration to strength +and durability, and to strength and durability alone. In buying +curtains, for instance, she sought for a nondescript colour which would +defy the sun's rays, a material that would stand repeated washings, and +a pattern which would conceal possible stains. A discovery that the +cloth would ultimately cut up into desirable dusters was sufficient to +give the casting vote of decision, and thereafter draperies of dingy +cinnamon would be hung against walls of yellow ochre, with complacent +and lasting satisfaction. Amid such drab surroundings Susan had spent +her life, and when she looked in the glass it was to see a replica of +her sister's faulty features and pallid skin, yet hidden away within +that insignificant exterior there burnt the true artist's passion for +beauty, for colour, for grace, of which three qualities Etheldreda Saxon +was so charming an embodiment. When Susan mentally worked out her +novels of the future her heroines invariably wore Dreda's guise, the +romantic figures of history took upon themselves Dreda's form, and +smiled upon her with Dreda's confident eyes. + +The ordinary sentimental school friendship was glorified into a selfless +devotion in which her highest joy was found in denying herself for +Dreda's good. The two girls--one tall, golden-haired, with vivid +colouring and an air of confident strength; the other small, plain, +neutral-tinted, timid of mien--were inseparable in work and at play. + +Six months' experience of school life had destroyed Dreda's early ardour +with regard to examinations. Arithmetic was such a hopeless stumbling- +block in her path that it was doubtful whether she would be able to +secure a bare pass, and having once realised the fact she readjusted her +ambitions with facile speed, announced that she disapproved of modern +methods, had no wish to enter the public arena, and was anxious to +abandon a course of dangerous cram. Her favourite subject was +composition, and here and here alone, she and Susan ran an even race, it +being a moot point each week which would gain the highest marks. +Susan's essays were more thoughtful, and were written with an apt and +dainty choice of words which was a delight to Miss Drake's literary +taste, but a certain primness and conventionality still remained to be +conquered, in contrast to which Dreda's dashing breeziness of style was +a real refreshment. After reading through a dozen essays, all of which +began in almost exactly the same words, and ended abruptly after +dragging through a dozen commonplace sentences, the tired reader +rejoiced at the sight of Dreda's bold handwriting, and was disposed to +forgive many failings in gratitude for the one great gift of +originality. + +Miss Drake was aware of the literary ambitions cherished by the two +friends, and in leisure moments sent many a thought into the future, +wondering what the years would bring, and if the time would ever arrive +when she should say proudly of a well-known writer: "She was my pupil. +I helped her towards the goal!" It seemed impossible to prophesy to +which of the two girls success would come--Susan of the eloquent brain, +the tender heart, or Dreda, with her gift of charm to gild the slightest +matter. The young teacher pondered over the question, and one day in so +doing there came to her mind a suggestion which promised interest to +herself and a useful incentive to her pupils. + +The third number of the school magazine would soon be due, and Miss +Drake was fully aware of the fact that the sub-editor had grown to +regard her responsibilities as a distasteful burden; while the +contributors one and all exhibited a lamentable falling away from their +early ambitions. Fragments of conversation had reached her ears as she +made her way along the corridors. "You must write something--you +_must_! I haven't a thing ready." + +"You and your old magazine! What a nuisance you are! I've something +better to do." + +"Here comes Dreda Saxon! Let's hide! She's on the rampage about the +mag." + +Miss Drake's heart softened towards her "sub" in this difficult plight; +she waited a few days to mature her plans, and then made an interesting +announcement to the pupils at the conclusion of a history class. + +"Before you go, girls, I want to speak to you for a few minutes on +another subject. The third number of the school magazine is nearly due, +and I am afraid from what I hear that contributions are coming in +slowly. You will remember the one condition on which you were allowed +to start the paper was that it should be continued for at least two +years. One of the lessons you have to learn in life is that a duty once +undertaken cannot be lightly thrown aside because it weighs more heavily +after the first enthusiasm is past. Steady, quiet perseverance is a +great force, and can overcome mountains of difficulty, but,"--she +glanced whimsically at the row of depressed young faces--"I am quite +aware that it is not a quality which makes a strong appeal at your age, +so I propose to be generous, and offer an extra stimulus. You all know +the name of Henry Rawdon, one of the greatest--many people think the +greatest--writer of our times. He happens to be not only a family +connection but my very good friend, and he has promised to help me to +carry out a little scheme for your benefit. Instead of the usual +nondescript contributions, you will all be required to write an essay on +a given subject for the next number of the magazine, and after it has +been circulated in the school, the typed papers will be sent to Mr +Rawdon, marked with numbers instead of names, and he will judge them, +and select the best as the prize number. Miss Bretherton is giving the +prize. She is most interested in the competition, and it will be a +prize worth having--a complete edition of Mr Rawdon's works, which he +has promised to present in person at our breaking-up gathering. Now is +that not a splendid stimulus? I hope you feel inspired to do your best +to rise to the occasion, and do honour to yourselves and the school." +She paused, and the girls stared at her in a solid phalanx of amazement. +Henry Rawdon's name was a household word; his works adorned every +library worthy the name; it was, in the literal sense of the word, +_stunning_ to think that such a celebrity should condescend to read +their poor little efforts! Etheldreda Saxon was naturally the first to +recover her voice. + +"And the subject, Miss Drake--what is to be the subject?" + +Miss Drake smiled quietly. + +"The subject is a very big one, and one on which the youngest girl is as +competent to write as the oldest. No one can plead ignorance on this +point, or if she does no outsider can give her enlightenment. The +subject, chosen by Mr Rawdon himself, is `My Life--and how I mean to +use it.'" + +A subdued murmur sounded in the room, the chief notes of which were +wonder and dismay. The girls looked at each other with startled looks, +their lips fell apart, a blank, half-stupefied expression settled on +their faces, as though they found themselves confronted by a task with +which they had no power to grapple. But Susan's brown eyes shone like +stars; she clasped her little hands tightly together beneath her desk. + + + +CHAPTER EIGHTEEN. + +For the next few days conversation circled incessantly round the subject +of the forthcoming literary competition, concerning which there were +naturally many diverging opinions. "My life, indeed! _Well_, my first +principle has always been `One thing at a time, and that done well.' +I'm cramming for an exam., and have no time to waste on meanderings," +declared Barbara, whose compositions invariably received the lowest +marks in her form, while Nancy smiled her enigmatical smile, and stared +mysteriously into space. + +"I shall write it, of course, but I shall not put in my _real_ +sentiments. It would not be fair to my future. If my plans are to +succeed they demand secrecy--breathless, inviolate secrecy, until the +hour arrives!" + +"Gracious, Nancy! You talk as if you were an Anarchist in disguise!" +gasped a horrified voice from the far corner of the fireside round which +the girls were assembled, whereupon the gratified Nancy endeavoured to +look more mysterious than ever. + +"Why in disguise? Is there anything in my appearance which is out of +keeping with a life of noble rebellion against tyranny and oppression? +A bomb may be often a blessing in disguise, but there is so much narrow +prejudice and ignorance in this world that people must be trained to +appreciate the true meaning. Till that hour arrives my life's ambition +must remain locked within my own breast!" + +"I haven't got one--at least, only to have a good time and be done with +work. You couldn't put _that_ in an essay. It sounds so mean," +confessed blue-eyed Flora with a sigh. Dreda looked at her quickly, and +as quickly averted her eyes. Put in bald language was not that her own +ambition also? In thinking over the essay, she had mentally rehearsed +many grandiose phrases; but now, with a sudden chilling of the blood, +she realised the emptiness of the high-sounding words. What had she +ever wished from life but pleasure, approbation, and easy success? How +much thought had she given to possible trials and difficulties? How +much effort to train herself for the battle of life? It was one of +those blinding moments of self-revelation which come to us all, and +before which the noblest natures shrink aghast. Dreda leant her head +against the wall to hide herself from the dancing firelight, but her +unusual silence could not fail to attract attention, and Norah was quick +with a gibing question. + +"Why so silent, Etheldreda the Ready? Can it be that you have been so +busy arranging the lives of other people that you have not had time to +think of your own?" + +The dart struck home once more, but before there was time to answer +Susan rushed to the defence. + +"It's just because Dreda _is_ thinking that she does not talk. Dreda +will win the prize. No one has a chance against her, but it is such a +thrilling subject that it will be interesting to try. The difficulty +will be to keep within the limit; only three thousand words--" + +"Only! My dear, do you know what three thousand words mean? I counted +up one sheet of foolscap, and it came to two hundred and fifty. How on +earth could one find enough to say about life to fill twelve whole +pages?" + +Flora was transparently in earnest, her blue, opaque-looking eyes roving +from face to face, inviting sympathy and understanding; but Susan gave a +clear little laugh of derision. + +"I could fill volumes! It's a wonderful, wonderful theme--a voyage into +the dark--a battle to be fought, a victory to be won, a mountain to be +climbed, or perhaps no mountain at all, but just a long, long road, on a +dead level plain. Work and effort, and failure and success, sorrow and +joy, and at the end the secret--the great secret--solved at last!" + +Susan's voice trembled, her slight little form shook with emotion, she +pressed her hands against her knees to still their trembling. The girls +stared at the floor, or exchanged furtive glances of embarrassment. +Susan was "too too for words" in her high falutin' moods; she talked +just like people in books; silly nonsense that no one could understand! +She was going to leave school when she was eighteen and help her mother +in the house, because the two elder girls wanted to be teachers. Why +couldn't she say so straight out, instead of mooning about secrets, and +battles, and mountains to be climbed? Flora sniggered into her +handkerchief, Barbara gaped, Nancy tilted her head, and rolled her eyes +to the ceiling, Dreda wakened out of her dream, and sat up flushed and +eager. + +"Susan, _stop_! You mustn't! If you tell us your ideas we may copy +them without meaning to do it... If you put thoughts into our heads +they stay there and grow, and we can't send them away, but they are +_yours_. You ought to keep them to yourself." + +"My dear, she says she has enough to fill a volume. She needn't grudge +a few to her starving friends," cried Nancy in would-be reproach. +"Confide in me, Susan dear! I'll sit at your feet, and gobble up all +the pearls that you drop, and perhaps in the end I may win the prize +myself. I don't see why it should be taken for granted that only two +girls have a chance. There's a lot of vulgar prejudice in this school, +but Mr Rawdon will judge with an unbiased mind. I have thought more +than once when I've been reading his books that the style was rather +like my own, and I've a sort of a--kind of a--what's the +word?--_premonition_ that he'll like me best." + +There was a general laugh, but Nancy was a favourite despite her teasing +ways, so the laughter was good-tempered and sympathetic, and it was easy +to see that if by chance the prize fell to her lot the award would be a +popular one. Nancy was incurably lazy, but the conviction lingered in +the minds of her companions that "she could be clever if she chose," and +it would seem quite in character that she should suddenly wake up to the +surprise and confusion of her competitors. Dreda looked round with an +anxious air, as if recognising a new, and formidable competitor. She +determined to begin making notes that very evening, and asked suddenly: + +"Has anyone seen my stylo? My things seem to be bewitched nowadays. +They are always disappearing. I searched for my French book for a solid +hour yesterday, and this morning it was my penknife, and now it's the +pen--I waste half my time hunting and searching." + +"You are so untidy. If you would be more methodical--" + +"I didn't ask for moral reflections, Barbara. I asked for my pen." + +"Is it a black one? A little stumpy black one--about so long?" + +"Yes--yes! That's it. Have you seen it, Nancy?" + +Nancy stroked her chin with a meditative air. + +"I _did_ see a stylo somewhere! I remember noticing it--a very nice +one. Quite new." + +"Yes--yes; that's it. Where was it? Do think, Nancy! Cudgel your +brains." + +"I am cudgelling them--I'm cudgelling _hard_." Nancy nipped her chin +between her finger and thumb, and knitted her brows till her eyebrows +appeared to meet. "I saw it this morning. It was lying on a shelf, +near a window. I can see it before me now." She waved her hand in the +air. "Like a picture. Distinctly!" + +"Yes--yes--yes! But where? _Think_! In the big classroom?" + +"No-o; I think not. No; certainly not the big classroom?" + +"Miss Drake's room, then? The study? Number 5? Our bedroom? If you +can see it distinctly, you _must_ know." + +Nancy frowned on, apparently plunged in thought, then slowly a flash +seemed to irradiate her features. + +"I have it!" she cried triumphantly. "It was in the window of the +chemist's shop! I saw it as we passed by in walk.--A beautiful black +brand-new stylo!" + +The audience sniggered with enjoyment, for though not quite so heartless +as their brothers, it cannot be denied that most school-girls take a +mischievous delight in teasing their companions. Dreda Saxon was, +moreover, from this point of view an amusing victim, for when a joke was +directed against herself her sense of humour was temporarily eclipsed, +and she took refuge in what was laughingly dubbed "heroics." Now, as +usual, her eyes flashed, her chin tilted itself in air, and her voice +swelled in deep-toned reproof. + +"That is not funny, Nancy--it is _unkind_! To laugh at people who are +in trouble is a sign of a mean, unprincipled mind. I am surprised that +you condescend to such depths." + +A shriek of laughter followed this reproof, and as she marched +majestically from the room Dreda caught a glimpse of Nancy beaming and +unrepentant, pretending to wring tears out of a dry pocket-handkerchief. +In that moment she mentally added three "heads" to the essay on life, +and headed them with large capital letters: Misunderstanding. Mockery. +Faithless Friends. + +During the next week Dreda spent every moment that could be spared from +ordinary school-work in working at her essay, alternating between wild +elation and depths of despair as her thoughts flowed or flagged. Her +home letter was full of the all-absorbing topic, but Rowena's reply was +a great surprise--for behold, pessimistic repinings had given place to +an outlook which was positively jaunty in tone. + +"It's a nice old world, after all," Rowena wrote. "It is stupid to +allow oneself to get humped, for sometimes at the very moment when you +believe that all is over, the very nicest things are just about to +begin. Put that in your essay, and make moral reflections. `Oft-times +in our ignorance we believe ... but looking back over a gap of time we +can see--A trivial word, a passing glance, the choice of a road, on such +trifles may depend ... Discipline is good for us all, but joy cometh in +the morning.' You know the sort of thing. For once I really wish I +could write your essay for you. I feel just in the mood to write pages. +I've been out riding with Mr Seton and his cousins three times this +week, and the exercise is so exhilarating. The cousins are staying at +the Manor House--such nice girls! We have taken quite a fancy to one +another, and they lend me a mount, so that we can go about together Mr +Seton sends you his best wishes for the competition. We talked about it +together when we were riding to-day. He is so clever, and has such +beautiful thoughts. He is looking forward most awfully to his life, and +says it gets better and better all the time. I feel quite ashamed to +remember how depressed and discontented I have been, and how irritable +with poor old Maud. She can't help it, poor dear, if she _is_ stupid; +one ought to be patient with her, and satisfied with a peaceful home +life! I _am_ satisfied now. To-morrow I go to lunch at the Manor +House." + +"But it was to _me_ he offered the mount," was Dreda's comment, not +without a touch of offence. Then with a benevolent impulse: "Oh, well, +Ro can have it until the holidays, and then he'll take me." Rowena's +suggestions as to the essay were too valuable to be ignored, and the +fact that they were in exact contradiction of the pessimistic passages +on persecution last added, was no hindrance to an author of Etheldreda's +ingenuity. She had simply to write, "On the other hand, it may be +said," and in came Rowena's reflections as pat as possible. During +those next few days her versatile mind seized on everything that she +heard, saw, or read, which could by any possibility be turned into +material for the essay, until page after page was filled with her big +straggling handwriting, and while her companions were still biting their +pens in search of inspiration, she was confronted by the task of +reducing her masterpiece by at least one-half of its length. And what a +task that was! + +"Really," she told Susan with a sigh, "cutting down is more difficult +than making-up! I read over each bit by itself, and it seems as if I +love it more than all the rest put together, and I simply can't _endure_ +to lose it; but the next bit is the same, and the next, and the next." +She rolled her eyes dramatically to the ceiling. "I am like a mother, +called upon to sacrifice one of her children. Whichever I choose, it +will break my heart! How I wish I could send in two papers, and have +two chances!" + +Such a proceeding was, of course, out of the question, so with much +groaning and lamentation Dreda cut out the quieter passages, reserving +the highly coloured flights of fancy which she considered more likely to +attract an author of Mr Rawdon's standing. When at last the typed +copies of the twelve essays were circulated in the school it was found, +as had been expected, that Susan and Dreda had far out-distanced the +other competitors, but Susan's most devoted admirers confessed that her +production appeared tame and dull when compared with Dreda's sparkling +eloquence. + +"I don't quite know what she's driving at," Barbara admitted, "but it +sounds awfully grand all the same; and dear old Sue's so painfully in +earnest! We'd better resign ourselves to the worst, for Dreda's bound +to get the prize, and lord it over us for the rest of the term. Our +lives won't be worth living." + +"It's the unexpected that happens in this world. I have a feeling that +there will be strange developments about this prize. Wait and see!" +said Nancy, darkly. + + + +CHAPTER NINETEEN. + +After a week's circulation in the school, the twelve typed essays upon +"My life, and what I hope to do with it," were packed up and sent to Mr +Rawdon for judgment, and Miss Drake begged her pupils to dismiss the +subject from their minds as far as possible. + +"Mr Rawdon has promised to attend our prize-giving on December the +nineteenth, and will announce the result of the competition himself, so +that nothing can be gained by discussing the matter before then. It +will be useless to question me, for I shall know he more than +yourselves, and we have the serious work of preparing for examinations +before us. Give your whole minds to your work, and don't waste time on +useless speculation." + +"Easier said than done," was Dreda's comment on this exhortation as she +walked to the hockey field with Susan after the class was dismissed. +"It's easy for The Duck to be calm and cold-blooded; she isn't in it, +and doesn't much care how it's decided; but to you and me it means life +or death. Susan, tell me exactly how you will feel if my name is read +out. Will you hate me with a deadly hatred?" + +"Dreda, how can you? As if I could ever hate you--as if such a thing +were possible!" Susan was breathless with horror, her brown eyes turned +reproachfully upon her friend. "Would you hate me?" + +"Yes," returned Dreda calmly; "I should. At that moment my love would +change into gall and bitterness. I should hate the very sight of your +face. Of course,"--she drew a deep sigh of complacence--"of course, in +the end my better nature would prevail, but I'm so emotional, you know-- +my heart is strung by every breath--like an Aeolian harp.--I could not +answer for myself for the first few moments, so keep out of my way, +darling, if you get the prize, until I have fought my battle and +overcome." + +"I hope you will win, Dreda. I expect you will. All the girls think +your essay the best. I should be miserable if I won and you were +angry," said little Susan in a low, pained voice. But Dreda was too +much occupied with a sudden suspicion to notice the pathos of her +attitude. + +"Do _you_ think it the best?" Susan hesitated painfully; her nature was +so transparently honest that she could never succeed in disguising her +real sentiments. + +"I like--bits of it--awfully, Dreda!" + +"Like the curate's egg. Thanks. But not all?" + +"Not--equally well, dear." + +"You think your own is better?" Susan's usually sallow face was flooded +with a painful red. + +"It sounds horribly conceited to say so, Dreda. I wish you hadn't +asked. It's only my own opinion, dear. All the others like yours best. +I believe it will win. Honestly I do." + +Dreda walked on in silence, her lips compressed, her back very stiff and +erect. She deigned no answer until the pavilion was only a few yards +distant, and even then her voice had a strained, unnatural tone. + +"I think we will not discuss the subject any more. Miss Drake said, if +you remember, that she would rather we didn't. We ought to respect her +wishes." + +"I'm sorry," said Susan meekly. She was not the one who had introduced +the subject, but she was quite willing to take the blame upon herself, +willing to endure any amount of blame if only Dreda would be kind and +love her once more. + +For the rest of the term the whole routine of the school was arranged +for the benefit of those girls who were going in for the different +examinations at Christmas; and those who, like Dreda, had not entered +their names were necessarily somewhat left out in the cold. They took +part in the same classes, but it was not in teacher-nature to take quite +so keen an interest in them as in those whose prowess might add to the +reputation of the school. If an ordinary scholar were inclined to +"slack," now was her chance to do so with the least chance of discovery +or punishment, and it is to be feared that Dreda, among others, did not +disdain to do so. + +"I disapprove of this modern method of _cram_," she announced in a home +letter. "Young girls need rest and amusement, not one long, continual +grind; and I don't think it's feminine to be so learned. +Accomplishments give far more pleasure, and you ought to be unselfish in +life. I should like a new dress for the prize-giving, please. +Something very nice--blue--and extra well made, because it may be +noticed a good deal. I'm so glad you are all coming. It will be nice +for you to see Mr Rawdon. I am looking forward to it fearfully much." + +The new dress arrived in due course, and was all that could be desired. +Dreda beamed complacently as she fastened the last button and regarded +her reflection in the glass at two o'clock on the afternoon of the +nineteenth of December; but her satisfaction was somewhat damped by the +discovery that her favourite little pearl brooch was missing, making +still another of those mysterious disappearances by which she had been +annoyed during the whole of the term. + +"I really can _not_ bear it. It's too much! It would try the patience +of Job!" she cried passionately. "Someone is bent on driving me +frantic, and whoever she is she's a mean, dastardly wretch. +Sometimes,"--her eyes flashed upon Nancy, who sat upon her bed leisurely +brushing out her long brown mane--"sometimes, Nancy, I believe it is +_You_." + +Susan, glancing fearfully across the room, saw Nancy's shoulders give a +slight involuntary jerk, but she made no other sign of perturbation, and +voice and manner remained as usual, calmly nonchalant. + +"_Do_ you?" she queried, smiling. "How interesting! And what has led +you to that conclusion, may I ask?" + +"Your own character. You take a delight in teasing and worrying and +mystifying people out of their senses. You probably think it amusing to +hide my things, and see me rushing about searching desperately in every +corner. I'm good sport, I suppose, because I'm so easily roused. +Things affect me more than other people, because I'm so sensitive. I'm +like--" + +"An Aeolian harp--I know! I've heard the comparison before," said +Nancy, with a quiet nod of the head which was infinitely exasperating. +Dreda stamped her foot upon the floor. + +"Have you hidden my brooch or have you not? Answer me this moment! I +have not time to waste." + +Nancy rose to her feet and selected a hair ribbon from a drawer with an +air of unruffled composure. + +"I'm sorry, but I find myself unable to oblige you. If I am the person +who has been playing tricks with your things all this time, you can +hardly expect me to prove my guilt out of my own mouth. On the other +hand, if I am innocent--" + +"Well?" + +"Then I should naturally be too proud and wounded to vindicate my +honour!" + +Dreda stood irresolute--swayed one moment towards penitence, the next to +anger. From the farther end of the room Susan mutely gesticulated +appeals for peace. What would have happened next it is impossible to +say, for at that moment a knock sounded at the door, and a voice cried: + +"Miss Saxon. Wanted, please! In the drawing-room." + +No need to inquire the meaning of that summons! Dreda flew breathlessly +downstairs, and in the moment of opening the drawing-room door beheld +her four dear visitors standing in the alcove made by a rounded window-- +father, mother, and two sisters. Such darlings--such darlings; so +infinitely more attractive than the other relations with whom the room +was full! Father was handsomer than ever, mother so sweet and elegant, +Maud was for the moment quite animated, while Rowena in her blue dress +and ermine furs was a beauty--so dazzling a beauty, and withal so sweet, +and bright, and womanly in expression, that the schoolgirl sister was +breathless with admiration. When the first greetings were over and the +parents were talking to Miss Drake, Dreda slipped her hand within +Rowena's arm, and gave it a rapturous squeeze. + +"Ro, you are lovely! Everybody is staring at you, and I'm just bursting +with pride... You dear old thing! What have you done with yourself to +look so nice? You are fifty times prettier than you were!" + +"Oh, Dreda! Am I--am I, really? I'm so glad!" cried Rowena, smiling. +But Dreda noticed with amazement that she didn't seem a bit conceited; +if such a curious thing could be believed true, there was a hitherto +unknown modesty and self-forgetfulness about her manner. "You look a +darling yourself," Rowena added affectionately. "Are you going to get a +lot of prizes to make us proud of you too?" + +"Nary a one," said Dreda with a grimace. "The girls are so horribly +clever in this school. I have no chance against them. We Saxons are +different; we have the artistic temperament; it's more interesting for +daily life, but it doesn't pay in exams. I am simply nowhere in the +lists." + +"But the essay, dear--the great essay on Life! Surely _there_--" + +Dreda bridled, and held up a modest hand. + +"Impossible to say. Nobody knows. Mr Rawdon will announce it himself. +There he is--over by the fireplace, talking to Miss Drake. Fancy an +author looking like that! Quite smart and shaved, like an ordinary man. +I expected yards of beard. Oh, dear! my life is in his hands, and he +is laughing and talking as if nothing were going to happen! At three +o'clock we have all to go down to the big classroom. Sit where you can +see me, Ro, and smile at me encouragingly when he gets up; but if +someone else wins, look the other way--I shall want to hide my anguish." + +Rowena laughed--a trill of merry, irresistible laughter, and the stare +of scornful reproach failed to move her to penitence. + +"You funny girl--you funny girl! Oh, Dreda, you _do_ exaggerate! A +passing disappointment like that! Such a little, little thing, when +there are such big prizes waiting in life! Oh, Dreda, you are _young_!" + +"Oh, Rowena, you are--" The retort hung fire, for at the moment it +seemed impossible to think of the right word to express what Rowena was. +"_Changed_!" came at last, as a somewhat tame conclusion, but at least +it had the effect of making Rowena blush from the tip of her dainty chin +to the very roots of her flaxen hair. Now, why should one blush as +though one had been detected in a crime at simply being accused of +change? + +At five minutes to three the pupils left the drawing-room, and took +their places ranged at the back of the big classroom. A small platform +had been erected at the farther end, on which sat the teachers, with Mr +Rawdon in the place of honour, just behind the water-bottle on the +table. Parents and friends sat in chairs running sideways down the +room, so that they were able to see the girls and watch the progress of +happy prize-winners towards the platform. Rowena smiled confidently at +her sister, but Dreda had forgotten her sister's existence. Her heart +was beating in quick, sickening thuds; her feet and hands were icy cold; +her knees jerked up and down, and in her throat was a hard, swelling +pain. It seemed as if all the happiness of life depended upon the next +few minutes; as if she could never hold up her head again if she failed +now. The girls were smiling and nudging each other gaily; Norah was +whispering to Susan, and Susan was listening with an air of genuine +interest. Were they all sticks and stones, who had no capacity for +feeling? Then Mr Rawdon rose to his feet, and there was an outburst of +clapping from the audience. Dreda's own hands moved automatically, and +again she wondered at their cold. The first few sentences sounded like +a meaningless buzz; then gradually her brain took in the words. Mr +Rawdon was expressing conventional pleasure at the "privilege" accorded +him by his "kind friend;" these formal civilities were just the clearing +of the way before the real business began, and speaker and hearers alike +heaved a sigh of relief when they were over and the interesting +criticism had begun. Mr Rawdon considered that four out of the twelve +essays submitted to him were decidedly above the average of such +productions, showing evidences of originality, thought, and literary +style. His lips twitched humorously as he described himself as having +been quite overwhelmed by the flights of eloquence of one of these +budding authoresses, but although four essays had stood out +conspicuously from the rest, he had not had a moment's hesitation in +deciding on the prize-winner. The essay of this young writer bore the +inevitable marks of youth and inexperience, but it bore something else +too--something which it was a joy to discover--something which had given +himself as a writer a deep pleasure and satisfaction--it bore the marks +of a strong literary gift. The girl who had written this essay +possessed the great gifts of wit, pathos, and charm; she could not only +feel, but she could clothe her thoughts in apt, telling words. She had +faults to overcome, and her apprenticeship to art might be long and +hard; but he had confidence in making a prophecy to-day, a prophecy +which he called upon his hearers to remember and recall in after years, +a prophecy that the writer of this schoolgirl essay would live to make +an honoured name for herself in the English-speaking world. + +A wild burst of applause sounded from the benches at the back of the +room. Mr Rawdon smiled, and lifted a slip of paper from the table +before him. + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY. + +Mr Rawdon deliberately fastened his eye glasses on his nose, and looked +down at the slip of paper. There was a dead breathless silence in the +room. + +"The name of the prize-winner is Etheldreda Saxon." + +It seemed to Dreda that her very heart stopped beating in that moment of +wild, delirious joy. It was almost as though she had received a blow on +her head, so dazed and paralysed did she appear; then dimly she was +conscious of the sound of clapping and stamping, and looking across the +room the four dear familiar faces stood out in bold relief, while all +the others remained a mist and blur. Father quite pale, with his eyes +shining like blue flames; mother with the tears streaming down her +face--why did mothers always cry when they ought to be glad?--Rowena, +one sweet, glowing smile of delight. Maud with her mouth wide open--one +could almost _hear_ her snore. + +The clapping went on--everyone seemed to be staring in her direction, +and someone was pressing her arm, and saying gently: "Go, dear--go! +They are waiting for you. Go for your prize!" + +It was Susan's voice. Susan's face was looking at her with the +sweetest, kindest smile... With a start Dreda came back to herself, and +as she did so half a dozen words sounded in her brain as distinctly as +though spoken by a real human voice. "That is love!" said the voice. +"That is the true love!" As she walked up the bare centre of the floor +she was thinking not of her own triumph, but of Susan's unselfish joy; +it came to her mind that Susan's triumph was greater than her own. + +Once on the platform, however, face to face with Mr Rawdon, with Miss +Drake by his side beaming with happy smiles, conscious of being the +cynosure of every eye, it was impossible not to feel a natural pride and +elation. + +Before presenting the pile of handsomely bound volumes--ten in all--Mr +Rawdon held out his hand with a very charming gesture of friendship. + +"Etheldreda Saxon, I congratulate you on what you have achieved in the +present; I congratulate you still more on what you are going to achieve +in the future! My good friend Miss Drake, knowing of old my +unmethodical methods, told me not to trouble to return the manuscripts +of the various essays submitted for my criticism, but before leaving +home to-day I put your typed copy in my pocket, thinking that you would +naturally like to have it. I return it to you now, together with these +books, which, to my mingled pride and embarrassment, have been chosen +for your prize. I hope and expect that the time will come when those +present this afternoon may feel _it_ one of their happiest recollections +that they were present on the occasion when Etheldreda Saxon received +her first literary recognition." + +Thunderous applause. Dreda walked down the little stairway, carrying +her heavy load of books with the folded manuscript slipped beneath the +cover of the topmost volume. The visitors on either side beamed +congratulations as she passed; on the faces of her school friends was an +expression which she had never seen before--proud and _yet_ awed, +affectionate yet shrinking. It was as if they said to themselves: + +"Who is this Dreda who has changed into a genius before our eyes? We +have laughed at her, and made fun of her pretensions, and behold, they +are not pretensions at all--_they are real_! We have been blind. We +have never really known her as she is." + +The girls in the second row made way for her as she came, pulling their +skirts aside, and tucking their feet beneath the bench to allow her to +pass along to her seat. She saw each face quite close as she passed +along--Flora, Barbara, Nancy, Norah, Grace--all smiled shyly upon her-- +all except one. Norah's eyes remained hard and cold--Norah was not +glad. She wanted Susan to win the prize. + +The clapping was dying down, and Mr Rawdon was beginning his promised +address. + +"My dear friends--It is my privilege this afternoon--" It was not +possible to listen to an address at this supreme moment of realisation-- +even the words of Mr Rawdon himself were a meaningless jargon in +Dreda's ears. Someone tried to take the books from her, but she clung +tightly to the volume containing the precious essay which had brought +this triumph into her life. Such a wonderful essay that on the strength +of it one of the greatest of living authors had confidently prophesied a +worldwide reputation. She, Dreda Saxon, an author whom strange people +talked about, whose name appeared familiarly in newspapers and +magazines! She herself had dreamed of such fairy tales, had expatiated +on their probability to sceptical friends; but now that Mr Rawdon had +prophesied the same thing she was none the less surprised and tremulous. +He who has experienced what the world calls triumph knows well that at +those moments the inmost feeling of the heart has been _humility_ rather +than pride. He alone knows his own limitations, his own weakness; he +trembles lest he may prove unworthy of the praise he has won. As the +first delirious moments passed by, Dreda was amazed to feel a sense of +depression chilling her blood. She questioned herself as to its cause, +and discovered that it arose from a new and disagreeable doubt of her +own capacities. Mr Rawdon thought her very, very clever; but was +she--_was_ she really? He believed that she could write books--long +books of hundreds of pages, like the one lying on her lap; many books-- +one after another--all different, about different people, different +things. Could she do it? Was her brain really full enough, wise +enough, original enough for such a strain? Face to face with herself +Dreda experienced some horrible moments of doubt. It had been so +difficult to write that one essay--of herself she had seemed to have no +ideas. She had merely pounced on what other people had written and said +and rearranged their words. "I am quick, I am sharp. I am what they +call _ready_," said Dreda to herself in that rare moment of modesty; +"but I am not really clever. I don't think thoughts of my very own like +Susan. It's all a mistake. I shall fail, and everyone will know." + +She began to tremble again, and the form creaked behind her. Some one +edged nearer and pressed a supporting arm against her side. It was +Susan. _Dear_ Susan! If she had been cross and jealous it would have +spoiled those first wonderful moments of triumph. Dreda remembered her +own prediction of how she would have felt had positions been reversed, +and pressed lovingly against the thin little arm. Her eye fell on the +sheets of manuscript folded within the book on her lap, and at the sight +she knew a returning thrill of confidence. After all Mr Rawdon was a +better judge than herself--he would not have spoken as he did if he had +not been sure. It was one of the signs of greatness to distrust +oneself. + +Dreda smiled, and let her fingers touch the paper with caressing +touches. She turned back a corner of the sheet and read some scattered +words; even in this short time they seemed unfamiliar, and she searched +mentally for the context. It refused to be recalled. She lifted +another corner, and a third; her hand trembled, she turned a fourth +corner; her fingers dropped the paper, and clenched themselves upon her +knee, lay there motionless. + +At the moment of tension when Dreda had been waiting for Mr Rawdon's +announcement, she had felt a strange bursting sensation in her head; but +now something really _did_ snap--it must have done, for she heard it +with her ears--a sharp, splitting noise, so loud that it seemed +impossible that others had not heard it also; yet they still sat smiling +and complacent. No one knew, no one suspected. They still believed +what she herself had believed, a moment ago--long, long years ago--which +was it?--that she was the winner of the coveted prize, the clever, +fortunate girl who had a future before her, whose name was to be a +household word in the land. She had thought so too; she had walked down +the room to the sound of applause, had felt every eye riveted on her +face, had seen her mother's tears; but this paper which lay on her knee, +the paper with "Prize Essay" scrawled across the back--this was not her +composition. The sentences which she had read were not her own; there +had been some mistake--some horrible, incomprehensible mistake! The +numbers must have been confused together. It was Susan's essay which +had won the prize, and not her own. + +Three minutes ago she had been sure, yet she had not been happy; she had +allowed herself to think of the future--to worry and to doubt. Oh, the +folly of it! And now she could never be happy any more; her triumph was +turned into humiliation and shame. + +What would they think--do--say? Mr Rawdon, Miss Drake, father and +mother, the other visitors, the girls? What _could_ they say? It would +be miserable for everybody--even for Susan. Susan could not enjoy her +triumph at such a cost to her chosen friend. Susan's arm pressed +lovingly against her side--she was distressed that Dreda seemed +unnerved, but she did not guess what had happened. Nobody guessed! No +one _could_ guess if she kept those sheets carefully folded, and +destroyed them as soon as she reached the dormitory. It was not her own +mistake. It was Mr Rawdon's. Was one called upon to taste the very +dregs of humiliation because another person had made a mistake? + +Mr Rawdon was still talking. The hands of the clock had only +registered ten minutes since he began; it seemed a lifetime before the +big hand reached the next figure. No; she would not tell. The mistake +had happened, and she must abide by it. There were other people to +think of besides herself. Mother had cried for joy; father's eyes had +glowed with happy pride--could they bear to have their joy turned to +pain? + +Mr Rawdon was talking about life, taking up the subject of the girls' +essays, enlarging upon what they had tried to express. The words +floated to Dreda's ears; she listened in curious, detached fashion. +"Difficulties and temptations came to us all; they were hard to bear, +bitterly hard at the time, but looked upon in the right light they were +just opportunities given to us to prove our true worth, to help us +farther on our way." Fine words, fine words! It was easy to preach +when all was going well for oneself, and there was no terrible mountain +of difficulty blocking up the very next step. She _could_ not tell! +All the eyes would stare at her again, but the admiration would be +changed into pity--perhaps even into suspicion. Some people might +believe that she herself was responsible for this mistake. She would +give Susan another copy of the books for Christmas. Susan should not +suffer. She would not tell. + +Mr Rawdon had put down his notes, the hands of the clock had touched +yet another figure; he was looking down the room and smiling in her +direction. She lost the drift of his sentence, but his last words were +her own name--"an Etheldreda Saxon," he said, and in the midst of the +applause which followed a girl's voice rang out: "Three cheers for Dreda +Saxon!" And once more the room was in an uproar of delight. + +The girls leapt to their feet; Dreda leapt with them. Susan felt her +thrust her way forward, and stared in surprise. She feared that her +friend had turned faint with emotion, but when Dreda had cleared herself +from the crowded forms she marched quietly up the room towards the +platform. The unfolded essay was in her hand, her face was as white as +the paper itself. The applause died away into a tense, uneasy silence. +Something had gone wrong. What could it be? + +Dreda held up the essay towards Mr Rawdon. + +She opened her lips, but it was only after several ineffectual efforts +that the husky voice would come. + +"It is not mine! There has been a mistake. Susan wrote it--Susan +Webster--the prize is hers!" + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY ONE. + +A blank silence followed Dreda's announcement. Dismay, disappointment, +and distress seemed printed on every face. Mr Rawdon and Miss Drake +gazed first at each other, then at the girl, then at the paper which she +had laid upon the table. Their foreheads were fretted with perplexity. +For the first few moments they seemed unable to speak; but presently, +bending towards Dreda, they appeared to question her in whispered tones, +to question anxiously, to cross-question,--to draw her attention to page +after page of the typed essay, as if searching for a refutation of her +statement. But Dreda shook her head, and could not be shaken. Then +Miss Drake turned aside and sat down, turning her chair so that her face +was hidden from the audience, and two little patches of red showed +themselves on Mr Rawdon's cheek bones. + +"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "a mistake has arisen--a most +regrettable mistake. The numbers attached to two of the essays +submitted to me have apparently been misplaced. It is impossible to say +how this confusion has arisen. Neither Miss Drake nor I can think of +any satisfactory explanation. If by chance it should be due to any +carelessness of my own, I can only say that I am most deeply sorry, and +that I feel myself painfully punished. It appears that the writer of +the prize essay is not Etheldreda Saxon, as we believed. She herself +discovered the mistake when glancing at the paper which I had returned +to her while I was giving my address just now, and has taken the first +possible opportunity of making public her discovery. I regret more than +I can say that she should have had so painful an experience, and I am +sure that you will all share my sorrow. Miss Saxon's essay was one of +the four chosen from the rest, and I can only hope that the prophecies +which I have already made as to her future will in all truth be +fulfilled." (Great applause.) "I now call upon Miss Susan Webster, the +author of the selected essay, to come up to the platform and receive her +prize." (Faint clapping of hands.) + +There is no doubt that it was a painful anticlimax. It is not often +that a literary genius looks the part so delightfully as Dreda had done +twenty minutes before--Dreda, in her new blue dress, with her flaxen +mane floating past her waist, her beautiful eyes darkened with +excitement, her complexion of clearest pink and white. As she had +mounted the steps to the platform the watching faces had shone with pure +artistic pleasure in the sight. So young, so strong, so lovely, and so +gifted--it was a privilege even to look upon so fortunate a creature. +And now! Guided by Miss Drake's thoughtful hand, the fairy princess had +slipped behind the screen which hid the back of the platform, and +creeping slowly across the floor came the mouselike figure of Susan in +her dun brown dress, her plain little face fretted with embarrassment +and distress, a victor with the air of a martyr, a conqueror who shrank +from her spoils. + +Despite himself, Mr Rawdon's voice took a colder tone as, for the +second time, he presented the pile of books; despite herself, Miss +Drake's smile was mechanical and forced; while the visitors made only a +show of applause. "Hard luck for that fine, bright girl!" whispered the +fathers one to another; the mothers almost without exception had tears +in their eyes. "And she looks so sweet and pretty! It's a _shame_!" +cried the sisters rebelliously. Even the girls on the benches at the +back of the room--Susan's companions who loved her and appreciated her +worth--even they looked oppressed and discomfited. The romance of +Dreda's triumph had appealed to their young imaginations; they +understood even more keenly than their elders the suffering involved in +that humiliating confession. "Poor Dreda!" they whispered to each +other. "Oh! poor old Dreda!" + +At tea in the drawing-room the tone of the teachers was distinctly +apologetic--the high spirits characteristic of the early hours had ebbed +away, and the visitors were glad to beat an early retreat. Mr and Mrs +Saxon received Miss Drake's apologies in the kindest and most +sympathetic manner, and would not allow her to take any blame to +herself. + +"It was an accident--no one can be blamed. We are so sorry for you, +too!" Mrs Saxon said sweetly. "It is a disappointment, of course; it +was a very happy moment when we believed our dear girl had gained such a +prize. We were so proud of her!" + +"We are proud of her now," interrupted Dreda's father quickly, and at +that both his hearers smiled and nodded their heads in sympathetic +understanding. "Yes, yes; we are proud of her _now_." + +To Dreda herself her parents made no allusion to the tragic mistake. +The girl only made her appearance when the motor drove up to the door, +and her cool, somewhat haughty manner showed that sympathy was the last +thing which she desired at the moment. + +"Good-bye, darling, till Thursday. Only two days more before we have +you back among us." + +"Good-bye, my girl. I'll drive over for you on Thursday morning." + +"Dreda, darling, I'm _so_ glad you are coming. I've such lots to tell +you!" + +"You've got your belt fastened on the wrong hook. The point's crooked." + +For once Maud's literal mind was a blessed relief. Her parting words +made everyone laugh, and the car drove off with the cheery sound of that +laughter ringing in the air, and the remembrance of merry faces to cheer +Dreda's aching heart. She turned and crept upstairs to the study. She +had shed her own gala dress, thrusting it away in the cupboard as if she +never wished to behold it again. The study was filled with odd pieces +of furniture which had been taken out of the big classrooms, and the +fire was dying out upon the grate. + +"Here sit I, and my broken heart!" sighed Dreda dramatically, as she +subsided into a chair and drew her shoulders together in an involuntary +shiver. It had been cold work standing at the door watching the +departure of the car, and the atmosphere of the deserted room was not +calculated to cheer her spirits. "When you've had a great shock your +constitution is enfeebled; when you're enfeebled, you are sensitive to +chills; a chill on an enfeebled constitution is generally fatal. +Perhaps I've received my death blow this afternoon in more ways than +one." Dreda sniffed and shivered miserably once more. The stream of +visitors was still departing, saying good-bye to Miss Bretherton and the +teachers in the drawing-room and making their way to the door. Dreda +would not risk leaving the study and encountering strange faces on the +staircase; besides which, it did not seem her place to seek her +companions at this moment. It was her companions who should seek _her_. + +"In the hour of my triumph they all crowded round me; now I am a pelican +on the housetop, and no one cares if I am dead or alive. I must get +accustomed to it, I suppose. Shame and humiliation must henceforth be +my portion. Only fifteen and a half--in _years_. In suffering I'm an +old, old woman! Mr Rawdon was sorry; I saw it in his face; but he +liked Susan's best. Susan has won the prize. Where is Susan now? Has +she forgotten all about me?" + +As if in answer to this question the handle of the door turned, and a +head was thrust round the corner. A voice exclaimed: "Here she is!" and +Nancy entered the room, followed closely by Susan herself. They stood +and looked at Dreda, and Dreda looked at them, but none of the three +uttered a word. Then suddenly Susan whispered something in Nancy's ear, +and while that young person hurried from the room with a most unusual +celerity, Susan dropped quietly on her knees beside the dying fire and +began coaxing it into a blaze. + +Dreda sat back in her chair and watched the process with a dull, +detached curiosity. Susan's back looked so narrow and small; the brown +dress fastened at the back with a row of ugly bone buttons; as she knelt +the soles of her new slippers seemed to fill up the entire foreground. +They were startlingly, shockingly white! As she bent from side to side +blowing skilfully upon the struggling flames, one could catch a glimpse +of her profile, white and wan, with red circles round the eyes. Such a +poor, weary little conqueror, on her knees striving to serve her fallen +rival. Something stirred in Dreda's heart; the ice melted, she cleared +her throat, and addressed her friend by name. + +"Susan!" + +Susan sat back on her heels, lifting scared, pitiful eyes. + +"Susan," said Dreda regally, "I don't hate you. You needn't be +frightened. I don't hate you a bit--I'm _sorry_ for you. This should +have been your triumph, and I have spoiled it. It's very hard on you +too, Susan!" + +"Oh, Dreda!" gasped Susan breathlessly. "Dreda, you're _magnificent_!" +She was wan and white no longer; her eyes blazed. No one seeing Susan +at that moment could possibly have called her plain; the lovely soul of +her shone through the flesh, working its transformation, even as the +leaping flames were now turning the dull hearth into a thing of beauty +and life. + +Still on her knees, Susan crawled across the few intervening yards of +floor, and rested her head against Dreda's knee. + +"I'd have given it up a hundred times--a thousand over, Dreda, rather +than let you have this experience!" she said brokenly. And Dreda knew +that she spoke the truth. + +It was in this attitude that Nancy discovered the two girls when she +entered the room a few minutes later, bearing in her hands a temptingly +spread tea-tray. One glance of the red-brown eyes testified to her +satisfaction at such eloquent signs of peace, but manner and speech +disdained sentiment. + +"Corn in Egypt!" she cried cheerfully. "The Duck fairly showered +dainties upon me--scones, sandwiches, cakes, _and_ a fresh pot of tea. +Let's fall to at once. I am fainting with hunger." + +She placed three chairs round the table, seated herself in front of the +tray, and, pouring out three cups of tea, handed them round with +hospitable zeal. Dreda ate and drank and felt comforted, in spite of +herself. It was wonderful how the mere creature comforts of warmth and +food seemed to soothe the pain at her heart. She even began to feel a +faint enjoyment in the dramatic element of her position, to realise that +if she had failed she had failed in a noticeable, even in a tragic, +fashion. To Susan belonged the glory, yet she, the beaten one, remained +unquestionably the heroine of the day! + +By the time that second cups of tea had been handed round, and an attack +made upon the iced cake, Dreda was ready and eager to discuss her +trouble. + +"How _could_ those numbers have been altered, Susan? Mine was five and +yours was ten. They aren't in the least alike!" + +"Dreda, I don't know--I can't _think_! If they had come loose and Mr +Rawdon had clipped them on again, he would have remembered doing it. At +least, an ordinary person would; but he is a genius. Perhaps geniuses +are different." + +"_You_ are a genius, Susan. You ought to know!" said Dreda, whereat the +poor little genius flushed miserably, and Nancy, rattling the tea-tray, +rushed hastily into the breach. + +"Accidents _will_ happen! It's no earthly use worrying your head about +the how and the why. There it is, and you've got to make the best of +it, and forget it as soon as possible." + +Dreda rolled tragic eyes to the ceiling. + +"I shall never forget. You can't reach the height of your ambition and +then see your treasure crumble to pieces in your hands in less than ten +minutes, and fall down into a very pit of humiliation without wearing a +mark for life." + +"Don't say humiliation, Dreda," cried Susan tremulously. "Don't, dear; +I can't bear it. It was dreadful for you; but there was no humiliation. +There was nothing--nothing of which you could be ashamed. Your essay +was very good, too; it has been mentioned as one of the best." + +But Dreda was not in the mood to accept comfort. She was miserable, and +she intended to be miserable in a thorough, systematic fashion, so that +for the moment alleviations seemed rather to irritate than to cheer-- + +"My essay was only one of the best four. That's nothing. Except our +three selves and Barbara Morton, there's not another girl in the school +who can write a decent essay to save her life. The others were all as +dull and stupid as could be. You have seen them, and know that that's +true. If mine was only the fourth best, that's no praise at all. Mr +Rawdon made no special mention of any but yours, except when he--_Oh- +h_!" Dreda's voice shrilled with sudden panic; she dropped her cake on +to her plate and clasped her hands together, staring before her with +wide, startled eyes. "Oh-h! Do you remember? He said that he had been +_amused_ by one of the four essays. His lips twitched, and he tried not +to laugh. Amused at the `high-flown eloquence.' That was the +expression--wasn't it? High-flown eloquence! That means rubbish, of +course--bombastic, stupid, exaggerated rubbish! Girls, _that was mine_! +I feel it--I know it! Susan, you know it, too. You wouldn't say that +it was good, even when I asked you straight out. You were too honest to +say `Yes.' Oh! I am not angry. You needn't look so miserable. It was +true, and down at the very, very bottom of my heart I knew it myself. +When I thought I had won the prize I was only really happy for a few +minutes; after that I grew frightened, for I knew it was a mistake, and +that I was not really a genius at all, only a rather sharp-witted girl, +a ready girl,"--she gave a dreary little laugh--"who could pick up other +people's ideas, and string them together as if they were her own. The +girls weren't clever enough to know the real from the sham, but Mr +Rawdon knew it at once. He saw how--how--" (she paused, groping in her +extensive vocabulary for a word to express her meaning) "how +_meretricious_ it was! He was--_amused_!" + +The last word came with an involuntary quiver of pain, and there was +silence round the impromptu tea-table. Dreda saw without surprise that +the tears were rolling down Susan's cheeks--it seemed natural that Susan +should cry. What did give her a real shock of surprise was to hear a +sound of subdued snuffling on her right, and on turning her head to +behold the imperturbable Nancy suspiciously red about the eyes and nose. + +"Nancy!" she cried involuntarily. "You are crying! I never believed +that it was possible that you _could_ cry! Why are you crying, Nancy? +Is it about--_me_?" + +But Nancy only jerked the tea-tray, tossing her head the while in her +most nonchalant fashion. + +"Can't I cry if I like? Can't I cry for myself? If I don't, no one +else will. No one thinks about Me! _I_ tried for the prize as well as +you, and I've far more right to be disappointed. No one ever said I +might be great!" + +She tossed her head and frowned and pouted, but Dreda was not deceived +by the pretence. At her heart lay a warm feeling of comfort and +gratitude. In recalling the incidents of this tragic day, it would +always bring a throb of consolation to remember that Nancy, the +imperturbable, had shed tears on her behalf! + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY TWO. + +Home again, and home with quite a festival air about _it_ in honour of +your return. Flowers in every corner, silver candelabra on the dining- +table, favourite dishes for every course, a fire in one's bedroom, +chocolates lying ready at every turn--it was all most grateful and +soothing! Dreda sunned herself in the atmosphere of tenderness and +approval, and though no one referred in words to her disappointment, she +knew that it was an underlying thought in every mind, and her sore heart +was soothed afresh by each new instance of kindliness and care. The +first evening was spent according to good old-fashioned custom, sitting +round the schoolroom fire, brothers and sisters together, talking over +the events of the term, and comparing exploits and adventures. In the +dim firelight Dreda edged close to Gurth's side and slipped her hand +through his arm; and, wonder of wonders! instead of pushing her away, +Gurth gave it a quick little grip, and leant his broad shoulder against +hers in response. The boys were on their best behaviour, amiable and +conciliatory, without a hint of the overbearing condescension which was +apt to mark the end of the holidays. If there was a blot on the general +harmony it was to be found in the air of detachment with which Rowena +took part in the conversation. She was perfectly amiable, perfectly +sweet, conscientiously interested in the different exploits, yet one and +all felt disagreeably conscious that she was no longer one of their +number, and that her thoughts were continually straying off on +excursions of their own. Dreda remembered the parting promise of "Lots +to tell!" and looked forward to hair-brushing confidences later on, but +none were forthcoming. Rowena remained loving, preoccupied, and +inscrutable. + +Alone with Maud, Dreda discussed the change in her sister's manner; but +Maud's explanation, though verbose, was hardly enlightening. + +"She's nineteen. She'll be twenty on the twenty-first of October next. +She's got a train to her last new dress. And then there's teaching +me... She orders me about as if she were a hundred, but lately she's +grown moony. If I keep quite still and ask no questions she begins +staring, and stares and stares and smiles to herself. So silly! But it +passes the time. When the clock strikes she gives such a jump! I'm not +getting on a bit; but I'm glad, because then I shall go to school. She +takes no interest in me. I did the same exercises four times over and +she never knew, and when I told mother she said, `Poor darling!' I +thought she meant me, but she meant Rowena. Well, if you grow up, you +grow up, but you needn't be silly!" + +Three afternoons after Dreda's return home a sharp rat-tat sounded at +the door, and Maud, flattening her nose against the window, made one of +her characteristic announcements. + +"Mr Seton's horse. He's got on his new breeches!" + +Dreda gave a glad exclamation. + +"Mr Seton! Already! The dear thing! How did he know I was home?" + +There was a short, tense pause, while Mrs Saxon and Rowena kept their +eyes glued to the ground. A sensitive hearer would have felt that pause +significant, but Dreda was too self-engrossed to be sensitive; she never +doubted that Guy Seton's object in calling was to welcome herself on her +return from school, and her first words informed him of the fact. + +"Oh, Mr Seton, it _is_ nice of you to come so soon! Have you got the +horse yet? It's lovely of you to remember your promise." + +"My--my--_what_ horse? What promise?" + +"The horse for me--my mount! You said you would take me out riding--" + +"Oh--er--yes! Did I? Delighted, I'm sure!" stammered Guy Seton +awkwardly. He looked bigger and stronger and handsomer than ever, but +even Dreda could not delude herself that he looked "delighted" at that +moment. There had been an expression of blankest surprise upon his face +as she had stepped forward to greet him, as if he had been unprepared +for her presence, and he had flushed uncomfortably at being reminded of +his promise. Dreda stood looking on somewhat blankly while he greeted +the other occupants of the room--Mrs Saxon with punctilious politeness, +Maud with a smile and a jest, Rowena in silence with a short grip of the +hand. Why did he not speak to Rowena? Were they still at cross +purposes as on the occasion of their first meeting? Dreda watched with +curious eyes and felt confirmed in her suspicion, for Rowena stitched +steadily at her embroidery, and Guy Seton never turned as much as a +glance in her direction. It was true that on one occasion when she +required her scissors he had pounced upon them as they lay on the table, +and handed them to her before she had had time to reach them herself; +but instead of forming the beginning of a conversation, as such an +action should naturally have done, they both appeared overcome with +embarrassment, and ignored each other's presence more persistently than +before. + +A quarter of an hour passed in a desultory and broken conversation, in +which each member of the party seemed to continue his or her own train +of thought, with little or no attention to the preceding remarks. As, +for example: + +Guy Seton: "It's such a ripping day. I thought I could ride over and +see how you all were." + +Maud: "Mr Morris dropped his spectacles in the stable when he was +feeding his new mare. He heard something grind, so he thought she had +eaten them by mistake. He sent off for a vet., and he gave her things +and charged a guinea, and all the while they were on the dressing-table +in his room." + +Dreda: "I'm always losing things! There's been a perfect fate against +me at school this term. It's not my fault, for I have grown hideously +careful, and they all turn up again in time, but it's most wearing for +your nerves!" + +Mrs Saxon: "I met your mother in the village on Thursday, Mr Seton. I +was glad to see her looking so well." + +Guy Seton: "This brisk weather braces people up. There's a meet at +Newstead Market Square on Monday at eleven. Ought to be a good run." + +Maud: "Mr Morris's mare cost eighty pounds. Their coachman told our +gardener. He said he thought she was gone for sure when the eyeglasses +were missing. They've got a gold rim." + +Dreda: "People always lose glasses. Flora Mason wears them at school. +She draws most beautifully. She had caricatures of all the mistresses +inside an atlas. She put them on the back of Balkan States because no +one ever looks at them; but there was an earthquake or something, and +The Duck turned them up. As a punishment, she made Flora stand up +before all the class and draw a copy of her portrait on the board. +Flora kept trying to make it pretty, and she said:-- + +"`Look at your copy, please, Flora; the nose goes to a point, and is +_inches_ larger!' Flora was _purple_ with embarrassment, and so were we +all." + +Guy Seton: "I was wondering if you would care to follow with us on +Monday, Miss Saxon? We'd take good care of you. My cousin is a very +careful rider, and you need not be at all nervous of being led into +awkward places. We could turn back as soon as you were tired." + +Dreda's gasp of dismay sounded clearly through the room, but Guy Seton +was apparently deaf to the sound. Rowena had raised her head from her +embroidery, revealing a face of almost startling beauty--cheeks as pink +as a wild rose, eyes deeply, darkly blue, lips curving into the sweetest +and shyest of smiles. + +"Thank you so much. I should love to go. I should not be at all +afraid." + +"That's settled, then!" cried Mr Seton, and breathed a sigh of relief. +The air of restraint which he had worn since entering the room gave +place to his usual genial, happy manner. He turned to Dreda, questioned +her about her work and games, joked and teased, recalled his own +experiences, was everything that was kind and friendly, but never a word +did he say about the promised "mount"--not a hint that she also might +like to attend the meet! Verily it was a world of grief and +disappointment. + +Gurth opined that it was a "beastly fag" having no horses, but saw no +reason why the younger members of the party should not follow on +bicycles. Dreda protested haughtily that if she could not go properly +she would not go at all; but when the day of the meet arrived and she +saw the little party complacently preparing to start, pride gave way +before the thought of a long, dull day alone; she rushed to get ready, +and pedalled down the drive looking her old complacent self. + +Rowena led the cavalcade on Mr Seton's brown hunter, with her fair +locks coiled tightly at the back and her hat pressed down on her +forehead. She was not quite so pretty, perhaps, as in ordinary attire, +but she looked delightfully trim and business-like, and her young +brothers and sisters were proud of her and made favourable comparisons +between her and the other lady riders assembled in the square. It was a +picturesque sight to see the motley collection of vehicles drawn up by +the kerbstones, the riders pacing to and fro, greeting fresh arrivals, +who kept trotting in from every direction, the pink coats of the men +making welcome touches of colour, and finally the appearance of the +hounds themselves, preceded by the huntsmen in their velvet caps and +smart white breeches. + +A long table was laid out in front of the village inn, on which were set +refreshments for those who had driven from a distance. The Saxon +quartette strolled up and down, wheeling their bicycles as they went, +exchanging greetings with acquaintances, and quizzing the peculiarities +of strangers, after the merciless fashion of youth. It was just as they +reached the farthest corner of the square, and were about to turn back, +that Dreda's glance came into contact with a pair of eyes fixed upon her +with a coldly antagonistic gaze with which she was painfully familiar. + +Norah! By all that was inexplicable, Norah West herself, standing +calmly in the midst of Newstead Market Square, more than a hundred miles +distant from her home, to which she had travelled a short week before! + +Dreda gazed back in stupefied amazement, and even as she looked a second +figure detached itself from the crowd and advanced towards her. + +"Dreda! I didn't expect to meet you here. I was going to write!" + +"Susan! What is Norah doing with you? Don't tell me you have asked her +to _stay_!" + +"I didn't--but she _is_ here, all the same. Her brother came home ill +from school, and the others had all to be sent off at once in case it +was something infectious. She telegraphed to know if she might come to +us." + +"Like her cheek!" + +"Oh, Dreda, it was horrid for her, too. Just think if you missed your +holidays at home! And she had often invited me there." + +"Oh, of course, she adores you, so you enjoy having her company. Don't +let me interfere! It's delightful that you are so well entertained. I +congratulate you, I'm sure." + +Susan's lips quivered. Her face was pinched by the chill wind, which +gave increased pathos to her look. + +"Dreda, I always tell you the truth; it's horrid of me--but I'm _not_ +glad! I didn't want her one bit. I thought you and I would be often +together, and now that she is here that can't be, I'm afraid. But--poor +Norah! None of the girls like her very much; there were so few places +she could go to, and just because she isn't--isn't _quite_ what one +would wish, there is all the more reason why one should be nice to her. +You remember what you said yourself." + +"What did I say?" + +"It wasn't about Norah exactly, but one day we were talking about people +we didn't like, and you said the best way was to be perfectly sweet +oneself, and to behave always as if we loved them, and expected only +good things from them, and so elevate them in spite of themselves. I +thought it was such a beautiful idea. I've never forgotten it, and now +I'm trying to put _it_ into practice." + +"Oh-h!" exclaimed Dreda blankly. She herself had forgotten her fine +sentiments almost as soon as they were uttered, and was not pleased to +be reminded of them at the moment. "Oh-h! Well, if you want to +experiment, you must; but I do think it's a little inconsiderate to +choose Norah as your subject, and in the Christmas holidays, too! Where +do I come in, please? Really, Susan, you are too appallingly +inconsiderate!" + +Susan smiled her sweet, illuminating little smile. + +"I know I am; dear; but be patient with me, please, because I'm +disappointed, too, and you'd have done the same yourself if you'd been +in my place. You may rage and storm, but you _never_ refuse to do a +good turn! I'll keep Norah out of your way!" + +For this morning at least the promise could not be kept; for, once +having joined forces, it was difficult to separate again, and throughout +the exciting chase which followed Norah made herself so agreeable that +Harold and Gurth pronounced her "a ripping girl, worth a dozen of that +mumpy little Susan Webster." + +"Now they'll want her asked over on every occasion. We shall be +_saturated_ with Norah! Miserable wretch that I am! Misfortunes dog my +footsteps!" sighed Dreda to herself. + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY THREE. + +The first three hours of the hunt passed somewhat slowly as the hounds +sought in vain for a scent, or "found," only to be rewarded by a short, +illusive chase. The waits were so frequent that the riders had little +chance of growing fatigued, and the Saxon contingent, being refreshed +with pocketed stores of biscuits and chocolate, boldly announced its +intention of following to the bitter end. + +At last the longed-for baying of excitement sounded from within a +spinney which was being drawn, while the field waited in scattered +groups to right and left. The next moment the long-looked-for fox +dashed swiftly across the meadow, making for the nearest woodland, and, +presto! all was excitement and bustle. Led by the huntsmen and hounds, +the horsemen went streaming across country in a long, irregular line, +leaping lightly across intervening barriers, while the less fortunate +riders on wheels were obliged to follow the _detours_ of the road. + +Dreda felt an almost unbearable impatience as she watched Rowena's +graceful figure swaying lightly in her saddle beside Guy Seton in his +picturesque pink coat. Hateful to come to a meet if you couldn't come +properly! Hateful of Guy Seton to have forgotten his promise! Hateful +to follow a mile behind and be out of all the fun. She set her teeth, +and decided that she would not condescend to follow meekly in the wake +of her companions, but, by taking a short cut in the shape of a ploughed +road which led across three meadows, would cut off a corner a good half- +mile in length. The path was rough, exceedingly rough--but, granted +that it was a trifle dangerous, what else could you expect at a hunt? +No sooner thought than done. Dreda deliberately slackened pace until +Hereward and Gurth had passed on ahead, then turned in at the opened +gate, and after a few minutes' painful wobbling to and fro found a deep +rut along which her wheels could make a fairly easy progress. The sound +of agitated puffings and pantings from behind made her aware that +another rider had been rash enough to follow her lead; but she dared not +turn her head to see who it might be. The road grew worse instead of +better, and the different ruts seemed to merge together in the most +annoying fashion. The bicycle bumped and strained, and only by the most +careful steering could be kept upright at all. She was a good and +fearless rider, but, to judge from the gasps and groans which sounded +from behind, her follower was not equally skilful, and Dreda began to +realise a fresh danger in her nearness. She determined to cross to the +far side of the road, chose what seemed to be the smoothest passage, and +swerved violently to the right. What exactly happened it would be +difficult to say, as it is always difficult to account for any accident +after the event. It was impossible to decide whether the second rider +was too close on Dreda's heels, and so volleyed into her at the first +sideways movement or whether Dreda's front wheel struck against a rut, +and in so doing blocked the way. The only thing that was certain was +that the two machines came violently into contact, and that their +respective riders were thrown headlong to the ground. + +A moment of stunned surprise, and then Dreda sat up slowly; very red, +very angry, conscious of a sore elbow, a dusty skirt, and a hat screwed +rakishly to one side. She was convinced that she had not been to blame, +and that her downfall was absolutely and entirely the fault of that +stupid other person who had followed too quickly behind; but on the +point of declaiming reproaches, she was suddenly silenced by two +startling discoveries: first, that the other person was none other than +Norah West, and secondly, that she was lying very still, with her head +falling limply to one side. + +Dreda felt a sudden chilling of the blood. Her heart pounded against +her side, and an inner voice cried in her ear: "Norah is dead! You were +saying horrid things about her an hour ago, and now she is dead. You +led the way along this dangerous path, and she followed and got killed, +and it is _your_ fault! Norah is dead, and it is you who have killed +her!" + +She crawled forward on hands and knees, and peered fearfully at the +still face. The spectacles had fallen off Norah's nose. The freckles +looked browner than ever against the pallor of the skin. Her face +looked pinched and wan, but she was not dead: the breath came faintly +from between the parted lips, the cheeks were warm to the touch. Dreda +gave a great sigh of relief, and seating herself in the middle of the +road, lifted Norah's head with her strong young arms until it lay +pillowed on her knee. She searched for her handkerchief, wiped the dust +from the unconscious face, and stroked back the heavy hair, crooning +over her the while in tones of fondest affection. + +"Norah! Norah dear! Norah, wake up! I'm here. Dreda's with you, +dear!" + +Hitherto Dreda had felt no affection for Norah West; there had been +little sympathy between them, and the rivalry for Susan's favour had +been a constant cause of friction; but at this moment it seemed the most +important thing in life that Norah should open her eyes and speak once +more. + +In the silent tension of those waiting moments Dreda had a flash of rare +insight into the feelings of another. Poor old Norah! She had been +snappy at times, but what wonder! It must have been hateful to have a +new girl come to school and become the chosen chum of the girl you +wanted for yourself; to see her take the lead, while you remained in +your insignificant corner. Norah was neither pretty, clever, nor +amusing; she was not popular in the school; but, indeed, she had never +striven after popularity. The one thing she had desired above all +others was Susan's friendship, and that she had failed to gain. Dreda +had been accustomed to jeer at the limitations of others; but now, for +the first time in her life, she felt a pang of whole-hearted sympathy +towards the girl who was so much less fortunate than herself. "It's no +credit to me that I'm pretty, but I should have hated to be plain. It +would have warped my disposition to look in the glass every day and see +nothing but freckles and glittering gold specs. Perhaps it warped +Norah's. I ought to have been sorry, instead of proud and superior. +And I'm not clever, either--I thought I was--and it was dreadful finding +out. I expect she hated it, too. Norah! Oh, Norah, I have behaved +like a blind, self-satisfied bat. If you go and die now I shall be +miserable all my life--bowed down with remorse! Oh, Norah, do, _do_ +open your eyes!" + +But Norah lay quiet and unresponsive. Where and how had she been +injured? There was no sign of blood, no cut or bruise on the still +white face. Dreda gently moved each arm, but still without awakening +any sign of consciousness. Then, leaning forward, she tried to +straighten out the twisted legs. Instantly there came a flinch and a +groan, the heavy lids rolled upward, and two startled eyes searched her +face. + +"What is it? Where am I? What has happened? Oh--the pain! the pain!" + +"You are quite safe, dear. You fell from your bicycle. I am afraid you +have hurt your leg; but I'm here. I'll take care of you. You know me, +don't you? You know Dreda Saxon?" + +Norah gave a moan of acquiescence. The consciousness of Dreda's near +neighbourhood did not appear to be especially soothing, for she turned +her head restlessly from side to side, and tried to lift herself on her +elbow. The effort failed, and she was obliged to lie back in the same +position, pillowed against Dreda's knee, shivering with mingled cold and +pain. + +"My leg! I can't move it. Don't move! Don't shake me! The least +movement is torture. Oh! how shall I ever get home?" + +The same thought was beginning to agitate Dreda's mind. Far off, over +the distant fences, the heads of a few riders could be seen bobbing away +out of sight, as the field swept across the sloping meadows. As well +call to the trees themselves as seek to attract their attention! The +cross road was too rough and muddy to be much used in winter; it was +quite possible that not a soul might pass by for the rest of the day. +Dreda shivered at the thought of the long hours of the afternoon during +which Norah might be obliged to lie--cold, cramped, suffering, waiting +for the help which never came; of the horror of darkness falling over +the land. + +"I must go for help. There are some farmhouses about half a mile away. +I could get men to carry you back. Could you let me lift you--very, +very gently--and lay you down on the bank?" + +But Norah was terrified to face the slightest movement. So long as she +lay perfectly still, hardly daring to breathe, the pain was bearable; +but the moment that she attempted to stir such a darting torture seized +her in its grip that she was ready to face any waiting, any darkness, +rather than allow herself to be moved. She gripped Dreda's hand and the +tears welled up in her eyes. + +"No, no! You mustn't! You mustn't! I should go mad. Let me lie +still. Some one will come. If they don't, let me just die quietly +here. Don't move! _Don't_ shake me! I can't bear it. I shall die +straight off." + +There seemed nothing to be done but to soothe and sympathise, sitting as +still as possible, stroking Norah's hair, and striving to shield her +from the biting wind. The short-sighted eyes looked quite different +bereft of their glittering glasses. The aggressive expression had given +place to one of pitiful appeal. Norah had never before experienced +severe physical pain; it seemed to her like some savage monster lying in +wait to grip her with its claws. She lay with her eyes strained on +Dreda's face, feeling herself in Dreda's power, terrified lest Dreda +should fail her in her need. + +"Dreda, am I heavy? Does it tire you to hold me? I've read that people +get cramped sitting in one position--that it hurts like a real pain. +Oh, Dreda, but it can't be like my pain! Something terrible has +happened to my leg. It is broken--or fractured. You can't imagine how +it feels. The least movement seems to stab through my whole body. Even +if you _do_ get cramped, Dreda, will you promise me to sit still--not to +move or shake me until some one comes?" + +Dreda hesitated miserably. + +"I'll try, Norah. I _will_ try! I can't bear to say no when you ask +me, but I feel as if it were wrong to promise. It _can't_ be good for +you to _lie_ here in the cold and the damp. And you ought to see a +doctor at once. You will have to be moved some time, and it is bound to +hurt. Couldn't you make up your mind and be very, very brave, and let +me put you down and run for help _now_? Indeed, indeed it would be +best!" + +But poor Norah did not feel at all brave. She shuddered and cried, and +clutched Dreda tight with her trembling hands, so that it seemed +impossible to deny her request. + +The time seemed terribly slow, the wind grew colder and colder, and a +thin grey mist began to spread over the meadows. Dreda turned up the +collar of her coat, but even that slight movement brought a groan of +pain from Norah's lips and a piteous plea to keep still. She set her +teeth hard in the effort to refrain from trembling. Her feet were +alternately numb and tingling with "pins and needles," but still no sign +of a living creature could be seen. After an hour had passed by Dreda +was almost more miserable than Norah, who had passed into a dull stupor +from which she was aroused only by occasional darting pains. She lay +with closed eyes, refusing to speak, but clutching with both hands at +Dreda's dress as if even in her semi-unconsciousness the terror of +movement still remained, and the cold mist crept nearer and nearer, +shutting out the landscape like a heavy screen. Dreda looked at the +little watch strapped round her wrist, and saw that the hands pointed to +three o'clock. In these short winter days it was often necessary to +ring for lamps before four o'clock--only another hour of daylight, and +then! What would happen if no help came within the next hour? Would +they have to spend the night together--Norah and she? Out in that +lonely path? Would they be found lying cold and stark when at last the +searchers came with the morning light? + +Dreda was beginning to feel a little dazed herself. Even before the +accident had happened she had been feeling somewhat tired and chilled, +and the mental and physical sufferings of the past two hours had been +severe. Perhaps she had been weak in submitting to Norah's entreaties; +perhaps it would have been truer kindness to have inflicted the +momentary torture, so as to have gone in search of aid; but be that as +it might, the opportunity was past, and whether she wished it or not she +was now too cramped to move. Her limbs felt so paralysed that she +believed that she would never walk again. But the thought brought with +it no regret; she did not care. Nothing mattered any more, except that +there was no support against which to lean her weary back. She was so +tired, so sleepy; Norah's head was so heavy on her lap. Dreda's eyelids +drooped and opened; drooped again and remained closed; her head fell +forward on her chest. The grey mist crept nearer and covered her from +sight! + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR. + +Rowena and Guy Seton gave themselves up to the pleasures of the hunt, +blissfully forgetful of the young brothers and sisters who were +following on wheels; and, indeed, of everything and everyone but just +their own two selves. There seemed always to be some incontrovertible +reason why they should keep by themselves, a little apart from the rest +of the field. Rowena's hunting experiences had been few, and her escort +was too anxious about her safety to allow her to try any but the very +simplest and smallest of jumps. This excess of precaution necessitated +many a detour, but neither of the two seemed anxious to make up for lost +time by putting on extra speed to catch up with their friends; and the +interest in the pursuit of the fox was of so perfunctory a nature that +it often seemed more by chance than by design that they took the right +turnings at all! + +It was after two o'clock when Rowena was refreshing herself with +sandwiches produced from Guy Seton's case during an interval of rest, +when the hounds were drawing a spinney, that she cast her eyes to right +and left over the scattered field, and remarked carelessly: + +"I don't see Dreda! The boys are there, and the Websters and Maud; but +I don't see Dreda anywhere--do you?" + +Guy Seton cast a cursory glance in the direction indicated. + +"She is probably behind a tree or a hedge, hiding from the wind. Miss +Dreda strikes me as a young woman who can take remarkably good care of +herself. Do take another sandwich! To please me! I'm so afraid you +will feel faint." + +Evidently Rowena was considered less able to look after herself than her +younger sister; for on this, as at every moment of the afternoon, she +was guarded, directed, and cared for as though she had been the most +helpless and timid of children; and the extraordinary thing about it was +that Rowena, who was in reality a most capable and self-confident young +woman, made not the slightest objection, but seemed thoroughly to enjoy +the experience. + +Half an hour later on Gurth took the opportunity of another halt to ride +up to Rowena's side with a repetition of her own question. + +"I say, Ro--have you seen anything of Dreda? She and Norah West seem to +have disappeared altogether. I can't think what's happened to them." + +"Perhaps they felt tired, and have gone home. Dreda's all right if she +has someone with her," returned Rowena easily, and Gurth accepted the +explanation and immediately dismissed the subject from his mind. + +Guy Seton was troubled with no fears about the missing girls; but +hearing Rowena mention the word "tired," became straightway devoured +with anxiety lest the epithet should in any way apply to herself. In +vain did she protest with the most radiant and dimpling of smiles. She +could no more deny that four hours in the saddle was an unusual exertion +than that the weather had taken a change for the worse, and that home +lay a good eight miles away. The exhilaration of the moment was such +that she felt as if it were impossible ever to be tired again; +nevertheless, it was sweet to be cared for, sweet to subject her own +will to that of Guy Seton. So the end of the discussion was that the +hunt was abandoned, and while the field went gaily chasing after a fresh +scent, these two riders turned their horses' heads and jogged slowly in +the direction of home. + +Suddenly an overpowering feeling of shyness seized upon Rowena. Every +moment took her farther away from her companions; the country ahead +looked misty and solitary; Guy Seton's eyes were fixed upon her face +with an expression at once so wistful and so ardent that it seemed +impossible to meet it with her own. In her heart of hearts Rowena knew +perfectly well what that look meant; but with the curious inconsistency +of her sex the impulse was strong upon her to fly from what she had most +longed for and desired. Conversation was the best refuge for the +moment, and she plunged hastily into the first subject which presented +itself. + +"I wonder if we shall find Dreda waiting at home! Poor Dreda, she was +so disgusted at having to follow on wheels. She refused point blank to +come, as she had not a mount; but at the last moment it seemed too dull +to stay at home all by herself. She is such a good horsewoman--far +better than I am. Perhaps next meet you will be very, very kind and +take her with you?" + +Guy Seton's face suddenly assumed an expression of acute anxiety and +discomfort. + +"Why should I take her? You are not--surely you are not _going away_?" + +"Oh, no--oh, no; but it is Dreda's holiday. She would love it so! It +would be such a treat." + +"And you? Does that mean that you _don't_ enjoy it? That you would +rather stay at home and let her come in your place?" + +Rowena blushed. + +"Of course it doesn't. I love it, too; but I wasn't thinking of myself. +Dreda thinks--she believes that you made some sort of promise that you +would give her a mount, and she is counting upon you to keep it. She +would be so disappointed--" + +But Guy Seton had forgotten all about his lightly spoken words, and was +in no mood to be reminded. + +"I think she must be mistaken, don't you know!" he protested easily. +"It's always the same thing with youngsters of that age. If one is +foolish enough to say a word, they leap to the conclusion that it is a +definite arrangement. I've learnt that with my own nephews and nieces. +I saw so very little of Miss Dreda before she went off to school that I +could hardly have had time to promise." + +"I don't think it took very much time. So far as I understand, it was +on the afternoon when you first met--" + +"The afternoon when I came over to call? I remember nothing whatever +about that afternoon except that I saw you, for the first time, and that +you were unkind to me, and wouldn't speak." + +The blush on Rowena's cheeks flamed up again more rosily than before. + +"Don't speak of it, please! It makes me hot and so furious with Maud +even now. You are not a girl, so you can't understand; but I was so +wretchedly embarrassed, and angry, and ashamed." + +"But why? That's what I could not understand! You had been sweet +enough, and unselfish enough, and hospitable enough to go to the trouble +of putting on a pretty frock--I adore that blue frock--for the benefit +of a casual stranger whom you had never even seen. Why should you be +ashamed of that? I think it was jolly unselfish. It's such a fag +changing one's kit. You ought to have been very complacent and pleased. +You _would_ have been if you could have changed places with me for a +minute, and seen yourself walking into the room. If you knew what I +thought--" + +He paused, and Rowena, scenting danger, resolved that nothing on earth +would make her put the obvious question. The resolution lasted for a +whole half-minute, at the end of which time a feeble little voice +demanded softly: + +"Wh-at did you think?" + +"I thought--oh, Rowena! so many, many things! I thought that I had +dreamt of you all my life, and had found you at last. I thought you +were the loveliest thing in the whole wide world. I wished I had been a +better man for your sake! I was so happy to have met you, and so +miserable because you were cross. It was such a bad beginning that I +was afraid you would always be prejudiced--always dislike me." + +Again he paused, and Rowena bent over her horse's head, stroking its +mane, keeping her eyes persistently downcast. They traversed another +hundred yards before the low, insistent tones again struck on her ear. + +"_Do_ you, Rowena?" + +"Do I--what?" + +"Dislike me still?" + +"I? Oh, what a question! I never disliked you. I was angry with Maud, +and with myself--not with you at all." + +"But I want so much more. Don't you know that, Rowena? I tumbled +headlong in love with you that very afternoon, and I've gone on tumbling +deeper and deeper ever since. Do you care for me a little bit, Rowena? +_Could_ you care? I'm such a stupid, ordinary sort of fellow. I don't +know how I dare ask such a thing of a girl like you--the loveliest, +sweetest girl that ever lived--but I just _have_ to, and that's the +truth! I can't stand the suspense another hour.--If I waited long +enough would there be a chance for me in the end? If I were very, very +patient!" + +A dimple dipped in the lovely curve of Rowena's cheek. She was sure +now--quite, quite sure! It was not merely a foolish, girlish +imagination. Guy loved her. Guy wanted her for his wife. She had +entered into her woman's kingdom, and, womanlike, began instantly to +adopt provocative little airs and graces. + +"But I--I don't want you to be--to be--" + +"To be what? _What_ don't you want me to be, Rowena?" + +"P-atient!" sighed Rowena, and turned her head with a smile and a glance +and a blush which transformed the grey winter landscape into a very +Garden of Eden for the man by her side. + +Ah, well! it was a blissful half-hour which followed, filled with the +inevitable questionings and recollections which every fresh Adam and Eve +believe to be their own exclusive property. "What did you think?" + +"What did you mean?" + +"Why did you say?" + +"What was the first--the very first moment when you began to care?" +Hand in hand they passed along the country lanes, the reins lying slack +on the necks of their tired steeds; hand in hand they turned in at the +farther gate of the ploughed roads which lay across the fields, and +halfway along its length came suddenly upon the two still, half- +conscious figures of Dreda and Norah West. + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE. + +The alarm was given at the nearest farm, and the two girls conveyed with +all speed to The Meads, where a doctor was at once summoned to their +aid. + +Norah's right knee was found to be badly fractured, from the effects of +which she had to face intense pain and discomfort for some days, and a +long, dragging convalescence. Given rest and care, however, recovery +was only a matter of time, and the onlookers were less anxious about her +than the other patient, who was raving with delirium in an adjoining +room. Dreda, like many robust people, had been more affected by the +deadly chill of those long waiting hours than was her more fragile +companion. Perhaps in nursing Norah upon her knee she had screened her +friend from the biting wind, which had seemed to cut like knives through +her own back. She had been like a figure of ice when she was carried +into the house; but before she had been an hour in bed the reaction had +set in and she was burning with a fever heat. + +The old nursery expression, "hotty-cold," was a true description of that +miserable night, when she alternately shuddered and burnt, and when +morning came the dread word "pneumonia" was whispered from lip to lip. +A hospital nurse was called in to aid Mrs Saxon in the care of the two +patients. Rowena took over the housekeeping duties, and went about her +work with a smile on her lips and a tear in her eye. Poor, poor darling +Dreda! It was pitiful to hear her loud, painful breathing. Rowena's +heart stood still at the thought that Dreda's life was in danger--but +Guy was coming. Guy would take her in his arms; she would lay her tired +head on Guy's broad shoulder, and be comforted. Was it wrong to feel +that nothing, nothing in the world could be unbearable while Guy's arms +held her close? + +Susan hurried over to The Meads whitefaced and trembling, longing to +help, to be of use; but Rowena waved aside her offers half-heard. She +could do nothing. The house was already too full; another inmate would +only be an additional burden. But Susan gently intimated that she was +not dreaming of offering her own presence. "I thought perhaps you would +let me have Maud. It must be lonely for Maud, and she may be a little +in your way. If you would let Maud stay with us for a time I would try +to make her happy." + +"Oh, you nice Susan! Oh, Susan, how dear of you!" cried Rowena, +fervently. "No words can express the relief which it would be to get +rid of Maud just now. She doesn't know what to do with herself, and she +follows us about all over the house, asking questions from morning till +night--millions of questions--and she makes mother cry, and upsets the +maids, and drops things with a bang outside Dreda's door when they are +trying to make her sleep, and--and,"--the colour rose in Rowena's smooth +cheeks--"you can't get away from her. She's always there! It _would_ +be sweet of you to take her, but I'm afraid you'd be very bored." + +"No," said Susan simply, "I couldn't be bored. It's the only way in +which I can help Dreda. The more difficult it is the better I shall be +pleased." + +Rowena looked at her in silence. Little, plain, insignificant Susan +Webster, whom an hour ago she had pitied with all her heart. She had no +Guy to love her. Considering her unattractive exterior, and the +inherent love of men for beauty and charm, it was exceedingly doubtful +whether she ever _would_ have a Guy. But she understood. She had risen +already to a higher conception of love than the bride whose +predominating joy was still in being loved--in receiving rather than +giving! At that moment Rowena had a flash-like glimpse into the +nobility of Susan Webster's nature, and her former disdain turned into +admiration and love. + +When the first painful days had passed, it cannot be denied that Dreda +thoroughly enjoyed her position of invalid, with all the petting and +consideration which it involved. She was inclined to pose as a heroine, +moreover; for had not her own sufferings been the result of standing by +a companion in distress! "I could not leave her," she announced to the +doctor when he cross-questioned her concerning the events of the fateful +afternoon. "She shrieked every time I made the least movement. It was +the knee that was broken, but the pain seemed to stretch all the way up. +It would have been cruel to move her." + +"One has sometimes to be cruel to be kind, Miss Dreda. It would have +been better for her, as well as for yourself, if you had insisted upon +going for help at once," said the doctor in reply; but even as he spoke +he laid his hand on her shoulder with a friendly pat, and Dreda felt +complacently convinced that he considered her a marvel of bravery and +self-sacrifice. + +Mrs Saxon was the most devoted of nurses, and shed tears of +thankfulness over each step of the invalid's progress towards +convalescence; but Dreda was by no means satisfied with the attitude of +her elder sister. Rowena floated in and out of the sick-room with a +smile and a kiss; but instead of begging to be allowed to stay, she +seemed always in a hurry to be gone, and on one or two occasions when +Dreda made feeble efforts at conversation, her attention wandered so +hopelessly that she said "Yes" and "No" in the wrong places, or +blushingly requested to have the question repeated. + +"How odd Rowena is! So absent-minded and stupid. She doesn't listen to +half one is saying, and smiles to herself in the silliest way.--I think +the housekeeping must be too much for her brain!" Dreda declared to her +mother, and Mrs Saxon smiled in response and skilfully turned the +conversation to a safer topic. Dreda was not strong enough to bear any +excitement yet awhile. + +It was nearly a week later, when one morning, as Rowena stood by the +bedside, the invalid's quick eyes caught the flash of diamonds on the +third finger of her sister's left hand. She pounced upon it, and +holding it fast, despite the other's struggles, demanded tersely: + +"What's that?" + +"Oh, Dreda, I--I have been waiting to tell you! The doctor said you +were to be kept so quiet. It's a--a-- Guy gave it to me." + +"Guy?" The face on the pillow was all blank surprise and bewilderment. +"What Guy?" + +"Guy Seton--my Guy! It's an engagement ring. Oh, Dreda, I have been +longing to tell you. I'm _so_--happy!" + +"You--are--engaged--to Guy Seton?" repeated Dreda blankly. Instead of +the radiant smile which Rowena expected, her face hardened with +displeasure, and she drew her brows together in a frown. "When? How? +Why? I never dreamt of such a thing. It seems too extraordinary to be +true." + +"Oh, Dreda, why? We think it so natural. We were made for each other. +It seems as if we must always have been engaged. I thought you would be +so pleased." + +"Well, I'm not," declared Dreda decidedly. "Not at all. I don't like +it one bit. It upsets all my plans. I used to imagine that father +would get all his money back and I should come home from school and go +about with you--two fair young _debutantes_--always together, having +such fun, sitting up afterwards in our bedrooms brushing our hair and +talking over what had happened as they do in books. It will be so dull +being alone with no one but Maud. Oh, Rowena, you _are_ selfish!" + +But Rowena only laughed, and dimpled complacently. + +"Oh, Dreda, you _are_ funny! You didn't expect me always to stay at +home, did you? I am the eldest; it is only natural that I should be +married first, and if I _am_ to be married, surely you would rather have +Guy than anyone else! There is no one like him. All the men we have +known are like puppets compared with him. He is so true, so strong, so +noble. You ought to be proud, Dreda, that you are going to have him for +a brother." + +"Well, I'm not," declared Dreda once more. "It's not a bit what I +expected. I thought that first day he seemed so taken with _me_! I +thought--at least, I didn't think, but I _should_ have thought if I had +thought, do you understand?--that he would have wanted to be engaged to +_me_! Not yet, of course, but he could have waited till I was grown up. +And you were so huffy and stiff, and I raced across the fields to find +mother, and took such trouble. It doesn't seem fair!" + +But Rowena only laughed again, without a trace of offence. + +"Poor old Dreda, it _is_ hard lines. Never mind, dear; think of the +wedding, and how you will enjoy being chief bridesmaid, and how lovely +it will be when you come to stay with me in my own little house. Won't +it be fun doing just as we like, and ordering the dinners, and having +parties whenever we like, and being absolutely and entirely our own +mistresses, with no one to say: `Don't!' or `You must not,' or `I'll +leave it to you, dear--but you know my wishes!' That's the worst of +all, for it seems to put you on your honour, and then you're powerless. +You must often come to stay with us, Dreda dear." + +Dreda lay silently, considering the situation. The prospect painted by +Rowena was sufficiently enticing to mitigate her first displeasure. +Pictures of bridal processions passed before her eyes; pictures of a +charmingly artistic little house, which would be as a second home, an +ideal home free from discipline and authority. The frown faded, her +lips relaxed, a dimple dipped in her cheek. + +"You must let me choose the bridesmaids' dresses, and help to arrange +the drawing-room. I should have it green, with white paint; but you +must be awfully particular about the shade. I've got a wonderful eye +for colour--Fraulein says so. So _that_ was why you never listened when +people spoke to you, and kept on smiling in that silly way! I asked +mother, but she put me off. Rowena, tell me. What did he say?" + +"_Dreda_!" + +Rowena, drawing herself up with a most grown-up access of hauteur, gave +it to be understood that such questions were an outrage on good taste, +and her younger sister was obliged to turn to subjects less embarrassing +and intimate. + +"Well, how did you feel then, when it was all settled and you had time +to think?" + +"Very happy--utterly happy and contented. There seemed nothing I could +wish altered; except, oh, Dreda, I was sorry about the past. I wanted +to tell you about that, so that you might be warned in time. Father and +mother were so sweet to Guy and me; they never seemed to think of +themselves, but only of our happiness; but when I said good-night I saw +the tears in mother's eyes, and I said to myself, `You had the chance of +helping her when she was in trouble and of showing her what a comfort a +daughter could be; but you were cross and selfish, and threw _it_ aside, +and now _it_ is too late. It can never, never come back. You have +missed your chance.' That thought was like a cloud over my happiness. +I had felt so disappointed to miss my season in London, so angry at +having to teach Maud, so ill-used at being shut up in the country, that +I had no time to be sorry for anyone but myself. I made things _worse_ +for mother by moping and looking cross and dull, and I was a Tartar to +Maud. Poor old Maud! She was far more patient with me than I was with +her; and after all, Dreda, it was here, in the place I hated, living the +life I dreaded, that I met Guy, the big, big prize of my life! I feel +so much older since I was engaged. One seems to _understand_ everything +so differently. And I have thought of you so often, dear, and hoped +that you may never lose your chance as I have done mine. Your _home_ +chance, I mean--the chance of being a real good daughter to father and +mother. Then you can never reproach yourself as I do now." + +Dreda stared with big, surprised eyes. Well might Rowena say that she +was changed! It might have been mother herself who was speaking. Such +gravity, such penitence, such humility, were new indeed from the lips of +the erstwhile proud and complacent young beauty! Dreda lay awake that +night pondering over the great news of the day, with all its +consequences to Rowena and herself. + +Meanwhile Norah lay helpless in her bedroom at the other side of the +house, and though the agonising pain of the first few days was +mercifully a thing of the past, the doctor did not disguise the fact +that a long and weary convalescence lay ahead before anything like +walking could be possible. In a week or two she might be able to be +lifted from bed, with the splints still firmly in position; in a week or +two more she might get about on crutches, but for how long the crutches +would be necessary it was impossible to say. Only one thing was +certain: there was no chance of returning to school! + +Norah took the verdict very quietly. Once relieved from pain, she was a +patient, uncomplaining invalid, and gave little trouble to her nurses. +That she was depressed in spirits seemed only natural under the +circumstances. Her brother's illness made it impossible for her own +mother to be near her; her constrained position made it difficult to +read; and her own thoughts were not too cheerful companions for the +long, dragging hours. Everyone rejoiced when at last Dreda was well +enough to be wrapped in a dressing-gown and escorted across the landing +to have tea in Norah's room. A bright fire burned on the hearth; a +little table, spread with tempting fare, stood by the bed; and Dreda, +propped up in a big armchair, was left to play the part of mistress of +the ceremonies. + +"They will be happier without us. We will leave them to have their talk +alone," whispered the elders to each other, as they left the room; but +the two girls were mutually suffering from a sense of embarrassment +which made conversation difficult to begin. + +"How thin she is! Her nose is sharper than ever. Poor dear, she _is_ +plain!" reflected Dreda, candid and clear-sighted. + +"How thin she is! All her colour has gone, but she looks pretty still. +She always does look pretty," reflected Norah in her turn. She lifted +her cup in a trembling hand, looking wistfully at her companion with +gaunt, spectacled eyes. + +"I am so sorry you were ill... It was all my fault. I kept you there +in the cold... Doctor Reed says I should have been plucky and made up +my mind to bear the pain ... It's easy to talk when your bones are +whole. When they are broken and sticking into your flesh you feel quite +different. It seemed easier to die than to move, but it was hard lines +on you... I'm sorry you were ill." + +Dreda beamed reassurement, thoroughly enjoying the position of receiving +apologies. + +"My dear, don't mention it. I have suffered too, and I _quite_ +understand. Pneumonia's hateful! I never could have imagined that it +was possible to feel so ill. I couldn't have thought of anyone in the +world, but just how to draw the next breath.--It _is_ so nice to feel +well again; but I'm dreadfully sympathetic about your knee. When you +were lying with your head on my knee that afternoon, I was sorry I'd +been so disagreeable at school. You feel such _remorse_ when you've +snapped at people, and then see them all white and still, with their +eyes turned up.--I thought such lots of thoughts that afternoon, and I'm +going to be quite different at school. Much nicer--you see if I'm not!" + +Nora shook her head, and her eyes sank in painful discomfiture. + +"No! I shan't see. I shan't be there. The doctor says I shall not be +fit for school. I shall never go back to West End. Perhaps it's just +as well. The girls never liked me very much, and now it would be worse +than ever--and Miss Drake--Miss Drake would be furious! ... I never +meant to tell, but I've been miserable ever since, and now I've broken +my knee--and, when I lay awake crying with pain those first awful nights +I made up my mind to tell, whether it was found out or not. It's awful +to have a pain in your body and in your mind as well. Did you guess it +was me, Dreda?" + +"You--_what_?" queried Dreda vacantly. Then the colour rushed into her +face, and half a dozen questions tripped together on her tongue. "Oh-h, +was it _you_ who hid my things? All the things I lost? My pencils, my +books, my gloves, the clock that I heard ticking in my hat-box, my +slippers that were on the top of the wardrobe? Oh, Norah, _why_? What +made you do it? Was it for fun?" + +Norah shook her head. + +"Oh, no. The most deadly earnest. You were Susan's chum, and you +patronised me, and gave yourself airs, and I was angry and jealous, and +_wanted_ to vex you. It was the only thing I could think of, and it +amused me to see you fume and rage. I hid them all--every single thing. +So now you know!" + +Dreda sat open-mouthed and aghast. What she felt was not so much horror +at thought of the deliberate unkindness, as sheer bewilderment at the +discovery that a human being existed who cherished a positive dislike to +her irresistible self. She had disliked Norah--that had seemed natural +enough--but that Norah should return that dislike was a thought which +had not even vaguely suggested itself to her mind. It was as if an +earthquake had shaken the foundations of her complacent self-esteem. +She had a second vision of herself as a novice coming among old pupils +and companions, laying down the law, starting new enterprises, claiming +the first place, and with it came also a new insight into Norah's +suffering, seeing all that had been denied to herself bequeathed so +lavishly to a stranger. Instead of the expected outburst of anger, +Norah saw with amazement the big tears rise in Dreda's eyes. + +"I'm sorry, Norah! I was very horrid. You took an awful lot of +trouble. I lost nothing, after all, so you needn't worry, and they were +all quite little things." + +"Not all! They weren't all little. The synopsis, for instance; you +didn't think _that_ little." + +"Oh, Norah, did _you_ hide it? That _was_ cruel! I had worked so +hard--had taken such pains. The Duck was so cross! You took it out of +my desk, and put it back when I was in the study, just to make me look +careless and stupid. Is it really true? I never for one moment +believed that anyone had done it on purpose. I can't believe it now." + +"It's true, all the same. I did it. I made up my mind to tell you, and +I will... I did worse than that... Can you guess what I did?" + +They stared at one another across the neglected tea table; stared in +silence while one might have counted ten; then Dreda drew a quick, +fearful breath. + +"No--no, not that! Not the essay--the numbers--the changed numbers! +You _could_ not have done that! ... Norah, I _couldn't_ believe it!" + +"But I did, I did! It was all my doing. I didn't mean to, but Miss +Drake sent me to her room, and on the desk was the parcel of papers all +ready except for the string, and the girls all said yours was the best, +and I didn't want you to win. I thought it would make you more +conceited and bossy than ever. I wanted Susan to get the prize, so that +everyone should see she was cleverer than you; but I was afraid she +wouldn't, for all the girls said yours was the best. The numbers were +just fastened on with clips. It jumped into my head that it would only +take a moment to put your number on Susan's paper, and Susan's on yours. +Miss Drake said we were all to keep our own written copies, for Mr +Rawdon, like most authors, was very unmethodical and careless, and would +probably mislay the papers and never send them back. She wanted to make +it as easy for him as possible, because it was doing her a big favour to +read them at all; so she was going to tell him just to send the winning +number and not to bother about the papers. I changed the numbers, and +ran downstairs, and the parcel went off by the next post. I was glad I +had done it. You were so certain you were going to win, and so +condescending to Susan. I was glad I had done it!" + +"I see--I understand. And--and when my name was read out, when I _did_ +get the prize--how did you feel then, Norah? Were you still glad?" + +"Yes," said Norah slowly; "I was still glad. I knew it was Susan's +essay, and I knew that _you_ knew. I saw you look at the paper and turn +white. I thought you were not going to tell. Then I should have got +hold of the essay, and told Miss Drake, and you would have been +disgraced before all the school." + +Norah spoke with dogged resolution; but, for all her show of bravado, +her face flushed to a deep brick red, and her eyes sank uneasily to the +floor. Dreda, on the contrary, was very white. Any sort of emotion +always drove the blood from her face, and the pupils of her eyes had +expanded until the whole iris appeared black. + +"You were quite right! At first, for the first few moments I thought I +_could_ not tell. It seemed too dreadful, after all the applause and +clapping. I had to struggle hard to be honest, and all the time you +were watching me--and waiting! I didn't know that, but it shows how +stupid it is to think that one can do wrong and not be found out. +Well!"--she drew a long, fluttering breath--"you succeeded, Norah. It +was a great success. Susan got the prize, and I was humiliated before +everybody, and heartbroken with disappointment. I thought I should +really have to commit suicide that night, I felt so bad. It's the +biggest trial I have ever known, so you may be quite satisfied. It was +a great success." + +Norah looked up sharply; but no, there was no sneer on Dreda's lips. +The big, sad eyes stared into hers with childlike candour and +simplicity. Norah bit her lip, and swallowed nervously. + +"I--I'm _not_ satisfied!" + +"Oh, but why? You have gained all you wanted. It seems a pity that no +one should be pleased. Susan wasn't a bit; she was miserable because +_I_ was miserable, and all the girls were sorry for me, and were nicer +than ever before. There's only you to _be_ glad, Norah. It was your +plan, and you succeeded. You needn't mind me. I've tasted the dregs. +Nothing can ever be so bitter to me again." + +Norah made no reply. Her lips were pursed so tightly together that +there was nothing to be seen but a thin red line. She glanced furtively +from one corner of the room to another; to the floor, to the ceiling, to +anywhere but just the spot where Dreda sat, looking at her with those +big, mournful eyes. In her many imaginings of the scene she had never +pictured such a _denouement_ as this. She had schooled herself to hear +furious denunciations, but the pitiful calm of Dreda's grief was ten +times more difficult to bear. + +Both girls were still weak and unfitted to bear long mental strain. The +shaking of the bed testified to the nervous tremblings of Norah's body. +Dreda lay back against her cushions, and the weak tears rolled down her +cheeks. The scones and cakes lay neglected upon the table, and the tea +grew cold in the cups. Each minute seemed like an hour, crowded as it +was with thoughts of such intensity as come rarely to careless, happy +youth. Norah looked back on her finished schooldays, and acknowledged +to her own heart that her want of popularity was the result, not of the +prejudice of others but of her own jealous, ungenerous nature. Dreda, +looking forward to the future, resolved to be less egotistical, less +confident, to consider more tenderly the feelings of her companions. +She had made many resolutions before now--too many! And they had known +but a short lifetime. But never before had they been born of suffering, +and never before had they been strengthened by prayer. This last +resolution was made in a very humble and anxious spirit, strangely +different from Dreda's former airy complacence. + +"Norah," she said slowly at last, "Norah, you have told me the truth, +and it must have been awfully difficult. It's your affair and mine, +Norah; let's keep it to ourselves. If you were going back to school, it +might be your duty to tell; but you are not, and you want all the girls +to remember you kindly. I don't see that it would make anyone happier +to know. They believe that it was a mistake for which no one was to +blame. Let them go on believing it! It will be better for you, and for +everyone else. I promise you, Norah, I will never tell." + +"Not--not Susan?" + +"Oh, never Susan Susan last of all." + +"Why last?" + +"Because you, like her best, and because she would be so sorry. Susan +is so good that it hurts her when people do wrong. I couldn't bear +Susan to think badly of me, and neither would you Susan shall never +know." + +Then for the first time the tears started to Norah's eyes. + +"Oh, Dreda, you are generous," she sighed; "you know how to forgive." +Then, with a sudden flash of intuition, "Susan will write books. She +will be great; but _you_, Dreda, you will live! You will be better than +famous--you will be loved!" + +When Mrs Saxon entered the room a few minutes later her quick eyes +realised at once the mental exhaustion of her two patients, and she +escorted her daughter back to her room and tucked her up in bed. + +Dreda's fair head rested on the pillow; but her eyes followed her +mother's movements about the room with a wistful expression whose appeal +could not be denied. Mrs Saxon asked no questions, but with true +mother insight she divined the need at the girl's heart, and hastened to +fill it. + +"Try to sleep, my little girl," she said fondly. "Try to rest. Take +care of yourself for my sake. You are more precious to me than ever, +since Rowena became engaged. You don't know how many hundreds of times +in the last few weeks I have comforted myself by thinking, `I have +Dreda! Thank God for Dreda! When Rowena goes I shall not be lonely. I +shall have my other dear big girl.'" + +Dreda's face glowed. The dull eyes shone with happiness and +expectation. + +"Mother," she cried ardently, "I'll never leave you! I'll spend my +whole life helping you and father. I'll never, never leave you for the +sake of a horrid, strange man." + +Mrs Saxon laughed softly. + +"Beware of rash promises, dear. I don't ask that. I don't even wish +it. When your time comes I hope you may be as fortunate as Rowena. I +am a rich woman. I have three daughters. I shall still have Maud at +home." + +But with all her new-found humility Etheldreda the Ready could not +submit to such a comparison. + +"Maud!" she cried scornfully. "Maud could never make up for me!" + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Etheldreda the Ready, by +Mrs. George de Horne Vaizey + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETHELDREDA THE READY *** + +***** This file should be named 21118.txt or 21118.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/1/1/1/21118/ + +Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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