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diff --git a/old/2000-03-tcosb10.txt b/old/2000-03-tcosb10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cc99830 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/2000-03-tcosb10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8007 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard, by France +#3 in our series by Anatole France + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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I wiped away a tear +with which the north wind blowing over the quay had obscured my +vision. A bright fire was leaping in the chimney of my study. +Ice-crystals, shaped like fern-leaves, were sprouting over the +windowpanes and concealed from me the Seine with its bridges and +the Louvre of the Valois. + +I drew up my easy-chair to the hearth, and my table-volante, and +took up so much of my place by the fire as Hamilcar deigned to allow +me. Hamilcar was lying in front of the andirons, curled up on a +cushion, with his nose between his paws. His think find fur rose +and fell with his regular breathing. At my coming, he slowly slipped +a glance of his agate eyes at me from between his half-opened lids, +which he closed again almost at once, thinking to himself, "It is +nothing; it is only my friend." + +"Hamilcar," I said to him, as I stretched my legs--"Hamilcar, somnolent +Prince of the City of Books--thou guardian nocturnal! Like that +Divine Cat who combated the impious in Heliopolis--in the night of +the great combat--thou dost defend from vile nibblers those books +which the old savant acquired at the cost of his slender savings and +indefatigable zeal. Sleep, Hamilcar, softly as a sultana, in this +library, that shelters thy military virtues; for verily in thy person +are united the formidable aspect of a Tatar warrior and the slumbrous +grace of a woman of the Orient. Sleep, thou heroic and voluptuous +Hamilcar, while awaiting the moonlight hour in which the mice will +come forth to dance before the Acta Sanctorum of the learned +Bolandists!" + +The beginning of this discourse pleased Hamilcar, who accompanied +it with a throat-sound like the song of a kettle on the fire. But +as my voice waxed louder, Hamilcar notified me by lowering his ears +and by wrinkling the striped skin of his brow that it was bad taste +on my part so to declaim. + +"This old-book man," evidently thought Hamilcar, "talks to no purpose +at all while our housekeeper never utters a word which is not full +of good sense, full of significance--containing either the announcement +of a meal or the promise of a whipping. One knows what she says. +But this old man puts together a lot of sounds signifying nothing." + +So thought Hamilcar to himself. Leaving him to his reflections, I +opened a book, which I began to read with interest; for it was a +catalogue of manuscripts. I do not know any reading more easy, more +fascinating, more delightful than that of a catalogue. The one +which I was reading--edited in 1824 by Mr. Thompson, librarian to +Sir Thomas Raleigh--sins, it is true, by excess of brevity, and +does not offer that character of exactitude which the archivists +of my own generation were the first to introduce into works upon +diplomatics and paleography. It leaves a good deal to be desired +and to be divined. This is perhaps why I find myself aware, while +reading it, of a state of mind which in nature more imaginative than +mine might be called reverie. I had allowed myself to drift away +this gently upon the current of my thoughts, when my housekeeper +announced, in a tone of ill-humor, that Monsieur Coccoz desired +to speak with me. + +In fact, some one had slipped into the library after her. He was a +little man--a poor little man of puny appearance, wearing a thin +jacket. He approached me with a number of little bows and smiles. +But he was very pale, and, although still young and alert, he looked +ill. I thought as I looked at him, of a wounded squirrel. He +carried under his arm a green toilette, which he put upon a chair; +then unfastening the four corners of the toilette, he uncovered +a heap of little yellow books. + +"Monsieur," he then said to me, "I have not the honour to be known +to you. I am a book-agent, Monsieur. I represent the leading +houses of the capital, and in the hope that you will kindly honour +me with your confidence, I take the liberty to offer you a few +novelties." + +Kind gods! just gods! such novelties as the homunculus Coccoz showed +me! The first volume that he put in my hand was "L'Histoire de la +Tour de Nesle," with the amours of Marguerite de Bourgogne and the +Captain Buridan. + +"It is a historical book," he said to me, with a smile--"a book of +real history." + +"In that case," I replied, "it must be very tiresome; for all the +historical books which contain no lies are extremely tedious. I +write some authentic ones myself; and if you were unlucky enough to +carry a copy of any of them from door to door you would run the risk +of keeping it all your life in that green baize of yours, without ever +finding even a cook foolish enough to buy it from you." + +"Certainly Monsieur," the little man answered, out of pure good-nature. + +And, all smiling again, he offered me the "Amours d'Heloise et d'Abeilard"; +but I made him understand that, at my age, I had no use for love-stories. + +Still smiling, he proposed me the "Regle des Jeux de la Societe"-- +piquet, bezique, ecarte, whist, dice, draughts, and chess. + +"Alas!" I said to him, "if you want to make me remember the rules of +bezique, give me back my old friend Bignan, with whom I used to play +cards every evening before the Five Academies solemnly escorted him +to the cemetery; or else bring down to the frivolous level of human +amusements the grave intelligence of Hamilcar, whom you see on that +cushion, for he is the sole companion of my evenings." + +The little man's smile became vague and uneasy. + +"Here," he said, "is a new collection of society amusements--jokes +and puns--with a receipt for changing a red rose to a white rose." + +I told him that I had fallen out with the roses for a long time, and +that, as to jokes, I was satisfied with those which I unconsciously +permitted myself to make in the course of my scientific labours. + +The homunculus offered me his last book, with his last smile. He +said to me: + +"Here is the Clef des Songes--the 'Key of Dreams'--with the explanation +of any dreams that anybody can have; dreams of gold, dreams of robbers, +dreams of death, dreams of falling from the top of a tower.... It +is exhaustive." + +I had taken hold of the tongs, and, brandishing them energetically, I +replied to my commercial visitor: + +"Yes, my friend; but those dreams and a thousand others, joyous or +tragic, are all summed up in one--the Dream of Life; is your little +yellow book able to give me the key to that?" + +"Yes, Monsieur," answered the homunculus; "the book is complete, and +it is not dear--one franc twenty-five centimes, Monsieur." + +I called my housekeeper--for there is no bell in my room--and said +to her: + +"Therese, Monsieur Coccoz--whom I am going to ask you to show out--has +a book here which might interest you: the 'Key of Dreams.' I shall +be very glad to buy it for you." + +My housekeeper responded: + +"Monsieur, when one has not even time to dream awake, one has still +less time to dream asleep. Thank God, my days are just enough for my +work and my work for my days, and I am able to say every night, +'Lord, bless Thou the rest which I am going to take.' I never dream, +either on my feet or in bed; and I never mistake my eider-down coverlet +for a devil, as my cousin did; and, if you will allow me to give my +opinion about it, I think you have books enough here now. Monsieur +has thousands and thousands of books, which simply turn his head; and +as for me, I have just tow, which are quite enough for all my wants +and purposes--my Catholic prayer-book and my Cuisiniere Bourgeoise." + +And with those words my housekeeper helped the little man to fasten +up his stock again within the green toilette. + +The homunculus Coccoz had ceased to smile. His relaxed features took +such an expression of suffering that I felt sorry to have made fun +of so unhappy a man. I called him back, and told him that I had +caught a glimpse of a copy of the "Histoire d'Estelle et de Nemorin," +which he had among his books; that I was very fond of shepherds and +shepherdesses, and that I would be quite willing to purchase, at a +reasonable price, the story of these two perfect lovers. + +"I will sell you that book for one franc twenty-five centimes, +Monsieur," replied Coccoz, whose face at once beamed with joy. "It +is historical; and you will be pleased with it. I know now just +what suits you. I see that you are a connoisseur. To-morrow I will +bring you the Crimes des Papes. It is a good book. I will bring +you the edition d'amateur, with coloured plates." + +I begged him not to do anything of the sort, and sent him away happy. +When the green toilette and the agent had disappeared in the +shadow of the corridor I asked my housekeeper whence this little +man had dropped upon us. + +"Dropped is the word," she answered; "he dropped on us from the roof, +Monsieur, where he lives with his wife." + +"You say he has a wife, Therese? That is marvelous! Women are +very strange creatures! This one must be a very unfortunate little +woman." + +"I don't really know what she is," answered Therese; "but every +morning I see her trailing a silk dress covered with grease-spots +over the stairs. She makes soft eyes at people. And, in the name +of common sense! does it become a woman that has been received here +out of charity to make eyes and to wear dresses like that? For +they allowed the couple to occupy the attic during the time the roof +was being repaired, in consideration of the fact that the husband +is sick and the wife in an interesting condition. The concierge even +says that the pain came on her this morning, and that she is now +confined. They must have been very badly off for a child!" + +"Therese," I replied, "they had no need of a child, doubtless. But +Nature had decided that they should bring one into the world; Nature +made them fall into her snare. One must have exceptional prudence +to defeat Nature's schemes. Let us be sorry for them and not blame +them! As for silk dresses, there is no young woman who does not like +them. The daughters of Eve adore adornment. You yourself, Therese-- +who are so serious and sensible--what a fuss you make when you have +no white apron to wait at table in! But, tell me, have they got +everything necessary in their attic?" + +"How could they have it, Monsieur?" my housekeeper made answer. +"The husband, whom you have just seen, used to be a jewellery-peddler-- +at least, so the concierge tells me--and nobody knows why he stopped +selling watches. you have just seen that his is now selling +almanacs. That is no way to make an honest living, and I never will +believe that God's blessing can come to an almanac-peddler. Between +ourselves, the wife looks to me for all the world like a good-for-nothing-- +a Marie-couche toi-la. I think she would be just as capable of +bringing up a child as I should be of playing the guitar. Nobody +seems to know where they came from; but I am sure they must have come +by Misery's coach from the country of Sans-souci." + +"Wherever they have come from, Therese, they are unfortunate; and +their attic is cold." + +"Pardi!--the roof is broken in several places and the rain comes +through in streams. They have neither furniture nor clothing. I +don't think cabinet-makers and weavers work much for Christians of +that sect!" + +"That is very sad, Therese; a Christian woman much less well provided +for than this pagan, Hamilcar here!--what does she have to say?" + +"Monsieur, I never speak to those people; I don't know what she says +or what she sings. But she sings all day long; I hear her from the +stairway whenever I am going out or coming in." + +"Well! the heir of the Coccoz family will be able to say, like the +Egg in the village riddle: Ma mere me fit en chantant. ["My mother +sang when she brought me into the world."] The like happened in the +case of Henry IV. When Jeanne d'Albret felt herself about to be +confined she began to sing an old Bearnaise canticle: + + "Notre-Dame du bout du pont, + Venez a mon aide en cette heure! + Priez le Dieu du ciel + Qu'il me delivre vite, + Qu'il me donne un garcon! + +"It is certainly unreasonable to bring little unfortunates into the +world. But the thing is done every day, my dear Therese and all the +philosophers on earth will never be able to reform the silly custom. +Madame Coccoz has followed it, and she sings. This is creditable at +all events! But, tell me, Therese, have you not put the soup to boil +to-day?" + +"Yes, Monsieur; and it is time for me to go and skim it." + +"Good! but don't forget, Therese, to take a good bowl of soup out of +the pot and carry it to Madame Coccoz, our attic neighbor." + +My housekeeper was on the point of leaving the room when I added, +just in time: + +"Therese, before you do anything else, please call your friend the +porter, and tell him to take a good bundle of wood out of our stock +and carry it up to the attic of those Coccoz folks. See, above all, +that he puts a first-class log in the lot--a real Christmas log. As +for the homunculus, if he comes back again, do not allow either +himself or any of his yellow books to come in here." + +Having taken all these little precautions with the refined egotism of +an old bachelor, I returned to my catalogue again. + +With what surprise, with what emotion, with what anxiety did I therein +discover the following mention, which I cannot even now copy without +feeling my hand tremble: + +"LA LEGENDE DOREE DE JACQUES DE GENES (Jacques de Voragine);-- +traduction francaise, petit in-4. + +"This MS. of the fourteenth century contains, besides the tolerably +complete translation of the celebrated work of Jacques de Voragine, +1. The Legends of Saints Ferreol, Ferrution, Germain, Vincent, and +Droctoveus; 2. A poem 'On the Miraculous Burial of Monsieur Saint-Germain +of Auxerre.' This translation, as well as the legends and the poem, +are due to the Clerk Alexander. + +"This MS. is written upon vellum. It contains a great number of +illuminated letters, and two finely executed miniatures, in a rather +imperfect state of preservation:--one represents the Purification of +the Virgin, and the other the Coronation of Proserpine." + +What a discovery! Perspiration moistened my forehead, and a veil seemed +to come before my eyes. I trembled; I flushed; and, without being +able to speak, I felt a sudden impulse to cry out at the top of my +voice. + +What a treasure! For more than forty years I had been making a +special study of the history of Christian Gaul, and particularly of +that glorious Abbey of Saint-Germain-des-Pres, whence issued forth +those King-Monks who founded our national dynasty. Now, despite the +culpable insufficiency of the description given, it was evident to +me that the MS. of the Clerk Alexander must have come from the great +Abbey. Everything proved this fact. All the legends added by the +translator related to the pious foundation of the Abbey by King +Childebert. Then the legend of Saint-Droctoveus was particularly +significant; being the legend of the first abbot of my dear Abbey. +The poem in French verse on the burial of Saint-Germain led me +actually into the nave of that venerable basilica which was the +umbilicus of Christian Gaul. + +The "Golden Legend" is in itself a vast and gracious work. Jacques +de Voragine, Definitor of the Order of Saint-Dominic, and Archbishop +of Genoa, collected in the thirteenth century the various legends of +Catholic saints, and formed so rich a compilation that from all the +monasteries and castles of the time there arouse the cry: "This is +the 'Golden Legend.'" The "Legende Doree" was especially opulent in +Roman hagiography. Edited by an Italian monk, it reveals its best +merits in the treatment of matters relating to the terrestrial +domains of Saint Peter. Voragine can only perceive the greater +saints of the Occident as through a cold mist. For this reason the +Aquitanian and Saxon translators of the good legend-writer were +careful to add to his recital the lives of their own national saints. + +I have read and collated a great many manuscripts of the "Golden +Legend." I know all those described by my learned colleague, +M. Paulin Paris, in his handsome catalogue of the MSS. of the Biblotheque +du Roi. There were two among them which especially drew my attention. +One is of the fourteenth century and contains a translation by Jean +Belet; the other, younger by a century, presents the version of +Jacques Vignay. Both come from the Colbert collection, and were +placed on the shelves of that glorious Colbertine library by the +Librarian Baluze--whose name I can never pronounce without uncovering +my head; for even in the century of the giants of erudition, Baluze +astounds by his greatness. I know also a very curious codex in the +Bigot collection; I know seventy-four printed editions of the work, +commencing with the venerable ancestor of all--the Gothic of Strasburg, +begun in 1471, and finished in 1475. But no one of those MSS., no +one of those editions, contains the legends of Saints Ferreol, +Ferrution, Germain, Vincent, and Droctoveus; no one bears the name +of the Clerk Alexander; no one, in find, came from the Abbey of +Saint-Germain-des-Pres. Compared with the MS. described by +Mr. Thompson, they are only as straw to gold. I have seen with my +eyes, I have touched with my fingers, an incontrovertible testimony +to the existence of this document. But the document itself--what +has become of it? Sir Thomas Raleigh went to end his days by the +shores of the Lake of Como, whither he carried with him a part of +his literary wealth. Where did the books go after the death of that +aristocratic collector? Where could the manuscript of the Clerk +Alexander have gone? + +"And why," I asked myself, "why should I have learned that this +precious book exists, if I am never to possess it--never even to +see it? I would go to seek it in the burning heart of Africa, or +in the icy regions of the Pole if I knew it were there. But I do +not know where it is. I do not know if it be guarded in a triple- +locked iron case by some jealous biblomaniac. I do not know if it +be growing mouldy in the attic of some ignoramus. I shudder at the +thought that perhaps its tore-out leaves may have been used to cover +the pickle-jars of some housekeeper." + + + +August 30, 1850 + + +The heavy heat compelled me to walk slowly. I kept close to the +walls of the north quays; and, in the lukewarm shade, the shops of +the dealers in old books, engravings, and antiquated furniture drew +my eyes and appealed to my fancy. Rummaging and idling among these, +I hastily enjoyed some verses spiritedly thrown off by a poet of the +Pleiad. I examined an elegant Masquerade by Watteau. I felt, with +my eye, the weight of a two-handed sword, a steel gorgerin, a +morion. What a thick helmet! What a ponderous breastplate-- +Seigneur! A giant's garb? No--the carapace of an insect. The +men of those days were cuirassed like beetles; their weakness was +within them. To-day, on the contrary, our strength is interior, and +our armed souls dwell in feeble bodies. + +...Here is a pastel-portrait of a lady of the old time--the face, +vague like a shadow, smiles; and a hand, gloved with an openwork +mitten, retains upon her satiny knees a lap-dog, with a ribbon about +its neck. That picture fills me with a sort of charming melancholy. +Let those who have no half-effaced pastels in their own hearts laugh +at me! Like the horse that scents the stable, I hasten my pace as +I near my lodgings. There it is--that great human hive, in which +I have a cell, for the purpose of therein distilling the somewhat +acrid honey of erudition. I climb the stairs with slow effort. +Only a few steps more, and I shall be at my own door. But I divine, +rather than see, a robe descending with a sound of rustling silk. +I stop, and press myself against the balustrade to make room. The +lady who is coming down is bareheaded; shi is young; she sings; her +eyes and teeth gleam in the shadow, for she laughs with lips and +eyes at the same time. She is certainly a neighbor, and a very +familiar one. She holds in her arms a pretty child, a little boy-- +quite naked, like the son of a goddess; he has a medal hung round +his neck by a little silver chain. I see him sucking his thumb and +looking at me with those big eyes so newly opened on this old universe. +The mother simultaneously looks at me in a sly, mysterious way; she +stops--I think blushes a little--and holds out the little creature +to me. The baby has a pretty wrinkle between wrist and arm, a pretty +wrinkle about his neck, and all over him, from head to foot, the +daintiest dimples laugh in his rosy flesh. + +The mamma shows him to me with pride. + +"Monsieur," she says, "don't you think he is very pretty--my little +boy?" + +She takes one tiny hand, lifts it to the child's own lips, and, +drawing out the darling pink fingers again towards me, says, + +"Baby, throw the gentleman a kiss." + +Then, folding the little being in her arms, she flees away with the +agility of a cat, and is lost to sight in a corridor which, judging +by the odour, must lead to some kitchen. + +I enter my own quarters. + +"Therese, who can that young mother be whom I saw bareheaded on the +stairs just now, with a pretty little boy?" + +And Therese replies that it was Madame Coccoz. + +I stare up at the ceiling, as if trying to obtain some further +illumination. Therese then recalls to me the little book-peddler who +tried to sell me almanacs last year, while his wife was lying in. + +"And Coccoz himself?" I asked. + +I was answered that I would never see him again. The poor little +man had been laid away underground, without my knowledge, and, +indeed, with the knowledge of very few people, on a short time after +the happy delivery of Madame Coccoz. I leaned that his wife had +been able to console herself: I did likewise. + +"But, Therese," I asked, "has Madame Coccoz got everything she needs +in that attic of hers?" + +"You would be a great dupe, Monsieur," replied my housekeeper, "if +you should bother yourself about that creature. They gave her notice +to quit the attic when the roof was repaired. But she stays there +yet--in spite of the proprietor, the agent, the concierge, and the +bailiffs. I think she has bewitched every one of them. She will +leave the attic when she pleases, Monsieur; but she is going to leave +in her own carriage. Let me tell you that!" + +Therese reflected for a moment; and then uttered these words: + +"A pretty face is a curse from Heaven." + +"Then I ought to thank Heaven for having spared me that curse. But +here! put my hat and cane away. I am going to amuse myself with a +few pages of Moreri. If I can trust my old fox-nose, we are going +to have a nicely flavoured pullet for dinner. Look after that +estimable fowl, my girl, and spare your neighbors, so that you and +your old master may be spared by them in turn." + +Having thus spoken, I proceeded to follow out the tufted ramifications +of a princely genealogy. + + + + +May 7, 1851 + + + +I have passed the winter according to the ideal of the sages, in +angello cum libello; and now the swallows of the Quai Malaquais +find me on their return about as when they left me. He who lives +little, changes little; and it is scarcely living at all to use up +one's days over old texts. + +Yet I feel myself to-day a little more deeply impregnated than ever +before with that vague melancholy which life distils. The economy +of my intelligence (I dare scarcely confess it to myself!) has +remained disturbed ever since that momentous hour in which the +existence of the manuscript of the Clerk Alexander was first revealed +to me. + +It is strange that I should have lost my rest simply on account of +a few old sheets of parchment; but it is unquestionably true. The +poor man who has no desires possesses the greatest of riches; he +possesses himself. The rich man who desires something is only a +wretched slave. I am just such a slave. The sweetest pleasures-- +those of converse with some one of a delicate and well-balanced +mind, or dining out with a friend--are insufficient to enable me +to forget the manuscript which I know that I want, and have been +wanting from the moment I knew of its existence. I feel the want +of it by day and by night: I feel the want of it in all my joys +and pains; I feel the want of it while at work or asleep. + +I recall my desires as a child. How well I can now comprehend the +intense wishes of my early years! + +I can see once more, with astonishing vividness, a certain doll +which, when I was eight years old, used to be displayed in the +window of an ugly little shop of the Rue de Seine. I cannot tell +how it happened that this doll attracted me. I was very proud of +being a boy; I despised little girls; and I longed impatiently for +the day (which alas! has come) when a strong beard should bristle +on my chin. I played at being a soldier; and, under the pretext +of obtaining forage for my rocking-horse, I used to make sad havoc +among the plants my poor mother delighted to keep on her window-sill. +Manly amusements those, I should say! And, nevertheless, I was +consumed with longing for a doll. Characters like Hercules have +such weaknesses occasionally. Was the one I had fallen in love with +at all beautiful? No. I can see her now. She had a splotch of +vermilion on either cheek, short soft arms, horrible wooden hands, +and long sprawling legs. Her flowered petticoat was fastened at +the waist with two pins. Even now I cans see the balck heads of +those two pins. It was a decidedly vulgar doll--smelt of the +faubourg. I remember perfectly well that, child as I was then, +before I had put on my first pair of trousers, I was quite conscious +in my own way that this doll lacked grace and style--that she was +gross, that she was course. But I loved her in spite of that; I +loved her just for that; I loved her only; I wanted her. My soldiers +and my drums had become as nothing in my eyes, I ceased to stick +sprigs of heliotrope and veronica into the mouth of my rocking-horse. +That doll was all the world to me. I invented ruses worthy of a +savage to oblige Virginie, my nurse, to take me by the little shop +in the Rue de Seine. I would press my nose against the window until +my nurse had to take my arm and drag me away. "Monsieur Sylvestre, +it is late, and your mamma will scold you." Monsieur Sylvestre in +those days made very little of either scoldings or whippings. But +his nurse lifted him up like a feather, and Monsieur Sylvestre +yielded to force. In after-years, with age, he degenerated, and +sometimes yielded to fear. But at that time he used to fear nothing. + +I was unhappy. An unreasoning but irresistible shame prevented me +from telling my mother about the object of my love. Thence all my +sufferings. For many days that doll, incessantly present in fancy, +danced before my eyes, stared at me fixedly, opened her arms to me, +assuming in my imagination a sort of life which made her appear at +once mysterious and weird, and thereby all the more charming and +desirable. + +Finally, one day--a day I shall never forget--my nurse took me to +see my uncle, Captain Victor, who had invited me to lunch. I admired +my uncle a great deal, as much because he had fired the last French +cartridge at Waterloo, as because he used to prepare with his own +hands, at my mother's table, certain chapons-a-l'ail [Crust on +which garlic has been rubbed], which he afterwards put in the chicory +salad. I thought that was very fine! My Uncle Victor also inspired +me with much respect by his frogged coat, and still more by his way +of turning the whole house upside down from the moment he came into +it. Even now I cannot tell just how he managed it, but I can affirm +that whenever my Uncle Victor found himself in any assembly of twenty +persons, it was impossible to see or to hear anybody but him. My +excellent father, I have reason to believe, never shared my admiration +for Uncle Victor, who used to sicken him with his pipe, give him +great thumps in the back by way of friendliness, and accuse him of +lacking energy. My mother, though always showing a sister's +indulgence to the Captain, sometimes advised him to fold the brandy- +bottle a little less frequently. But I had no part either in these +repugnances or these reproaches, and Uncle Victor inspired me with +the purest enthusiasm. It was therefore with a feeling of pride that +I entered into the little lodging he occupied in the Rue Guenegaud. +The entire lunch, served on a small table close to the fireplace, +consisted of cold meats and confectionery. + +The Captain stuffed me with cakes and undiluted wine. He told me of +numberless injustices to which he had been a victim. He complained +particularly of the Bourbons; and as he neglected to tell me who the +Bourbons were, I got the idea--I can't tell how--that the Bourbons +were horse-dealers established at Waterloo. The Captain, who never +interrupted his talk except for the purpose of pouring out wine, +furthermore made charges against a number of dirty scoundrels, +blackguards, and good-for-nothings whom I did not know anything +about, but whom I hated from the bottom of my heart. At dessert +I thought I heard the Captain say my father was a man who could be +led anywhere by the nose; but I am not quite sure that I understood +him. I had a buzzing in my ears; and it seemed to me that the table +was dancing. + +My uncle put on his frogged coat, took his bell shaped hat, and we +descended to the street, which seemed to me singularly changed. It +looked to me as if I had not been in it before for ever so long +a time. Nevertheless, when we came to the Rue de Seine, the idea +of my doll suddenly returned to my mind and excited me in an +extraordinary way. My head was on fire. I resolved upon a desperate +expedient. We were passing before the window. She was there, +behind the glass--with her red checks, and her flowered petticoat, +and her long legs. + +"Uncle," I said, with a great effort, "will you buy that doll for +me?" + +And I waited. + +"Buy a doll for a boy--sacrebleu!" cried my uncle, in a voice of +thunder. "Do you wish to dishonour yourself? And it is that old +Mag there that you want! Well, I must compliment you, my young +fellow! If you grow up with such tastes as that, you will never +have any pleasure in life; and your comrades will call you a precious +ninny. If you asked me for a sword or a gun, my boy, I would buy +them for you with the last silver crown of my pension. But to buy +a doll for you--by all that's holy!--to disgrace you! Never in the +world! Why, if I were ever to see you playing with a puppet rigged +out like that, Monsieur, my sister's son, I would disown you for my +nephew!" + +On hearing these words, I felt my heart so wrung that nothing but +pride--a diabolical pride--kept me from crying. + +My uncle, suddenly calming down, returned to his ideas about the +Bourbons; but I, still smarting under the weight of his indignation, +felt an unspeakable shame. My resolve was quickly made. I promised +myself never to disgrace myself--I firmly and for ever renounced +that red-cheeked doll. + +I felt that day, for the first time, the austere sweetness of +sacrifice. + +Captain, though it be true that all your life you swore like a pagan, +smoked like a beadle, and drank like a bell-ringer, be your memory +nevertheless honoured--not merely because you were a brave soldier, +but also because you revealed to your little nephew in petticoats +the sentiment of heroism! Pride and laziness had made you almost +insupportable, Uncle Victor!--but a great heart used to beat under +those frogs upon your coat. You always used to wear, I now remember, +a rose in your button-hole. That rose which you offered so readily +to the shop-girls--that large, open-hearted flower, scattering its +petals to all the winds, was the symbol of your glorious youth. +You despised neither wine nor tobacco; but you despised life. +Neither delicacy nor common sense could have been learned from you, +Captain; but you taught me, even at an age when my nurse had to wipe +my nose, a lesson of honour and self-abrogation that I shall never +forget. + +You have now been sleeping for many years in the Cemetery of Mont- +Parnasse, under a plain slab bearing the epitaph: + + CI-GIT + ARISTIDE VICTOR MALDENT, + Capitaine d'Infanterie, + Chevalier de la Legion d'Honneur. + +But such, Captain, was not the inscription devised by yourself to +be placed above those old bones of yours--knocked about so long on +fields of battle and in haunts of pleasure. Among your papers was +found this proud and bitter epitaph, which, despite your last will +none could have ventured to put upon your tomb: + + CI-GIT + UN BRIGAND DE LA LOIRE + +"Therese, we will get a wreath of immortelles to-morrow, and lay +them on the tomb of the Brigand of the Loire." ... + +But Therese is not here. And how, indeed, could she be near me, +seeing that I am at the rondpoint of the Champs-Elysees? There, +at the termination of the avenue, the Arc de Triomphe, which bears +under its vaults the names of Uncle Victor's companions-in-arms, +opens its giant gate against the sky. The trees of the avenue are +unfolding to the sun of spring their first leaves, still all pale +and chilly. Beside me the carriages keep rolling by to the Bois +de Boulogne. Unconsciously I have wandered into this fashionable +avenue on my promenade, and halted, quite stupidly, in front of a +booth stocked with gingerbread and decanters of liquorice-water, +each topped by a lemon. A miserable little boy, covered with rags, +which expose his chapped skin, stares with widely opened eyes at +those sumptuous sweets which are not for such as he. With the +shamelessness of innocence he betrays his longing. His round, fixed +eyes contemplate a certain gingerbread man of lofty stature. It +is a general, and it looks a little like Uncle Victor. I take it, +I pay for it, and present it to the little pauper, who dares not +extend his hand to receive it--for, by reason of precocious +experience, he cannot believe in luck; he looks at me, in the same +way that certain big dogs do, with the air of one saying, "You are +cruel to make fun of me like that!" + +"Come, little stupid," I say to him, in that rough tone I am +accustomed to use, "take it--take it, and eat it; for you, happier +than I was at your age, you can satisfy your tastes without +disgracing yourself."...And you, Uncle Victor--you, whose manly +figure has been recalled to me by that gingerbread general, come, +glorious Shadow, help me to forget my new doll. We remain for ever +children, and are always running after new toys. + + + + +Same day. + + +In the oddest way that Coccoz family has become associated in my +mind with the Clerk Alexander. + +"Therese," I said, as I threw myself into my easy-chair, "tell me +if the little Coccoz is well, and whether he has got his first teeth +yet--and bring me my slippers." + +"He ought to have them by this time, Monsieur," replied Therese; +"but I never saw them. The very first fine day of spring the mother +disappeared with the child, leaving furniture and clothes and +everything behind her. They found thirty-eight empty pomade-pots in +the attic. It passes all belief! She had visitors latterly; and +you may be quite sure she is not now in a convent of nuns. The +niece of the concierge says she saw her driving about in a carriage +on the boulevards. I always told you she would end badly." + +"Therese," I replied, "that young woman has not ended either badly +or well as yet. Wait until the term of her life is over before you +judge her. And be careful not to talk too much with that concierge. +It seemed to me--though I only saw her for a moment on the stairs-- +that Madame Coccoz was very fond of her child. For that mother's +love at least, she deserves credit." + +"As far as that goes, Monsieur, certainly the little one never wanted +for anything. In all the Quarter one could not have found a child +better kept, or better nourished, or more petted and coddled. Every +day that God makes she puts a clean bib on him, and sings to him +to make him laugh from morning till night." + +"Therese, a poet has said, 'That child whose mother has never smiled +upon him is worthy neither of the table of the gods nor of the +couch of the goddesses.'" + + + +July 8, 1852. + + +Having been informed that the Chapel of the Virgin at Saint-Germain- +des-Pres was being repaved, I entered the church with the hope of +discovering some old inscriptions, possibly exposed by the labours +of the workmen. I was not disappointed. The architect kindly +showed me a stone which he had just had raised up against the wall. +I knelt down to look at the inscription engraved upon that stone; +and then, half aloud, I read in the shadow of the old apsis these +words, which made my heart leap: + +"Cy-gist Alexandre, moyne de ceste eglise, qui fist mettre en argent +le menton de Saint-Vincent et de Saint-Amant et le pie des Innocens; +qui toujours en son vivant fut preud'homme et vayllant. Priez +pour l'ame de lui." + +I wiped gently away with my handkerchief the dust covering that +gravestone; I could have kissed it. + +"It is he! it is Alexander!" I cried out; and from the height of +the vaults the name fell back upon me with a clang, as if broken. + +The silent severity of the beadle, whom I saw advancing towards me, +made me ashamed of my enthusiasm; and I fled between the two holy +water sprinklers with which tow rival "rats d'eglise" seemed +desirous of barring my way. + +At all events it was certainly my own Alexander! there could be no +more doubt possible; the translator of the "Golden Legend," the +author of the saints lives of Saints Germain, Vincent, Ferreol, +Ferrution, and Droctoveus was, just as I had supposed, a monk of +Saint-Germain-des-Pres. And what a monk, too--pious and generous! +He had a silver chin, a silver head, and a silver foot made, that +certain precious remains should be covered with an incorruptible +envelope! But shall I never be able to view his handiwork? or is +this new discovery only destined to increase my regrets? + + + +August 20, 1859. + + +"I, that please some, try all; both joy and terror + Of good and bad; that make and unfold error-- + Now take upon me, in the name of Time + To use my wings. Impute it not a crime + To me or my swift passage, that I slide + O'er years." + +Who speaks thus? 'Tis an old man whom I know too well. It is Time. + +Shakespeare, after having terminated the third act of the "Winter's +Tale," pauses in order to leave time for little Perdita to grow up +in wisdom and in beauty; and when he raises the curtain again he +evokes the ancient Scythe-bearer upon the stage to render account +to the audience of those many long days which have weighted down +upon the head of the jealous Leontes. + +Like Shakespeare in his play, I have left in this diary of mine a +long interval to oblivion; and after the fashion of the poet, I make +Time himself intervene to explain the omission of ten whole years. +Ten whole years, indeed, have passed since I wrote one single line +in this diary; and now that I take up the pen again, I have not the +pleasure, alas! to describe a Perdita "now grown in grace." Youth +and beauty are the faithful companions of poets; but those charming +phantoms scarcely visit the rest of us, even for the space of a +season. We do not know how to retain them with us. If the fair +shade of some Perdita should ever, through some inconceivable whim, +take a notion to traverse my brain, she would hurt herself horribly +against heaps of dog-eared parchments. Happy the poets!--their +white hairs never scare away the hovering shades of Helens, +Francescas, Juliets, Julias, and Dorotheas! But the nose alone of +Sylvestre Bonnard would put to flight the whole swarm of love's +heroines. + +Yet I, like others, have felt beauty; I have known that mysterious +charm which Nature has lent to animate form; and the clay which +lives has given to me that shudder of delight which makes the lover +and the poet. But I have never known either how to love or how to +sing. Now in my memory--all encumbered as it is with the rubbish +of old texts--I can discern again, like a miniature forgotten in +some attic, a certain bright young face, with violet eyes.... Why, +Bonnard, my friend, what an old fool you are becoming! Read that +catalogue which a Florentine bookseller sent you this very morning. +It is a catalogue of Manuscripts; and he promises you a description +of several famous ones, long preserved by the collectors of Italy +and Sicily. There is something better suited to you, something +more in keeping with your present appearance. + +I read; I cry out! Hamilcar, who has assumed with the approach of +age an air of gravity that intimidates me, looks at me reproachfully, +and seems to ask me whether there is any rest in this world, since +he cannot enjoy it beside me, who am old also like himself. + +In the sudden joy of my discovery, I need a confidant; and it is +to the sceptic Hamilcar that I address myself with all the effusion +of a happy man. + +"No, Hamilcar! no," I said to him; "there is no rest in this world, +and the quietude which you long for is incompatible with the duties +of life. And you say that we are old, indeed! Listen to what I +read in this catalogue, and then tell me whether this is a time to +be reposing: + +"'LA LEGENDE DOREE DE JACQUES DE VORAGINE;--trduction francaise du + quatorzieme sicle, par le Clerc Alexandre. + +"'Superb MS., ornamented with two miniatures, wonderfully executed, +and in a perfect state of preservation:--one representing the +Purification of the Virgin; the other the Coronation of Proserpine. + +"'At the termination of the "Legende Doree" are the Legends of Saints +Ferreol, Ferrution, Germain, and Droctoveus (xxxviij pp.) and the +Miraculous Sepulture of Monsieur Saint-Germain d'Auxerre (xij pp.). + +"'This rare manuscript, which formed part of the collection of Sir +Thomas Raleigh, is now in the private study of Signor Michel-Angelo +Polizzi, of Girgenti.'" + +"You hear that, Hamilcar? The manuscript of the Clerk Alexander is +in Sicily, at the house of Michel-Angelo Polizzi. Heaven grant he +may be a friend of learned men! I am going to write him!" + +Which I did forthwith. In my letter I requested Signor Polizzi to +allow me to examine the manuscript of Clerk Alexander, stating on +what grounds I ventured to consider myself worthy of so great a +favour. I offered at the same time to put at his disposal several +unpublished texts in my own possession, not devoid of interest. I +begged him to favour me with a prompt reply, and below my signature +I wrote down all my honorary titles. + +"Monsieur! Monsieur! where are you running like that?" cried Therese, +quite alarmed, coming down the stairs in pursuit of me, four steps +at a time, with my hat in her hand. + +"I am going to post a letter, Therese." + +"Good God! is that a way to run out in the street, bareheaded, like +a crazy man?" + +"I am crazy, I know, Therese. But who is not? Give me my hat, +quick!" + +"And your gloves, Monsieur! and your umbrella!" + +I had reached the bottom of the stairs, but still heard her protesting +and lamenting. + + + +October 10, 1859. + + +I awaited Signor Polizzi's reply with ill-contained impatience. I +could not even remain quiet; I would make sudden nervous gestures-- +open books and violently close them again. One day I happened to +upset a book with my elbow--a volume of Moreri. Hamilcar, who was +washing himself, suddenly stopped, and looked angrily at me, with +his paw over his ear. Was this the tumultuous existence he must +expect under my roof? Had there not been a tacit understanding +between us that we should live a peaceful life? I had broken the +covenant. + +"My poor dear comrade," I made answer, "I am the victim of a violent +passion, which agitates and masters me. The passions are enemies +of peace and quiet, I acknowledge; but without them there would be +no arts or industries in the world. Everybody would sleep naked +on a dung-heap; and you would not be able, Hamilcar, to repose all +day on a silken cushion, in the City of Books." + +I expatiated no further to Hamilcar on the theory of the passions, +however, because my housekeeper brought me a letter. It bore the +postmark of Naples and read as follows: + +"Most Illustrious Sir,--I do indeed possess that incomparable +manuscript of the 'Golden Legend' which could not escape your keen +observation. All-important reasons, however, forbid me, imperiously, +tyrannically, to let the manuscript go out of my possession for a +single day, for even a single minute. It will be a joy and pride +for me to have you examine it in my humble home in Girgenti, which +will be embellished and illuminated by your presence. It is with +the most anxious expectation of your visit that I presume to sign +myself, Seigneur Academician, + "Your humble and devoted servant + "Michel-Angelo Polizzi, + "Wine-merchant and Archaeologist at Girgenti, Sicily." + +Well, then! I will go to Sicily: + +"Extremum hunc, Arethusa, mihi concede laborem." + + + +October 25, 1859. + + +My resolve had been taken and my preparations made; it only remained +for me to notify my housekeeper. I must acknowledge it was a long +time before I could make up my mind to tell her I was going away. +I feared her remonstrances, her railleries, her objurgations, her +tears. "She is a good, kind girl," I said to myself; "she is +attacked to me; she will want to prevent me from going; and the Lord +knows that when she has her mind set upon anything, gestures and +cries cost her no effort. In this instance she will be sure to +call the concierge, the scrubber, the mattress-maker, and the seven +sons of the fruit-seller; they will all kneel down in a circle +around me; they will begin to cry, and then they will look so ugly +that I shall be obliged to yield, so as not to have the pain of +seeing them any more." + +Such were the awful images, the sick dreams, which fear marshaled +before my imagination. Yes, fear--"fecund Fear," as the poet says-- +gave birth to these monstrosities in my brain. For--I may as well +make the confession in these private pages--I am afraid of my +housekeeper. I am aware that she knows I am weak; and this fact +alone is sufficient to dispel all my courage in any contest with her. +Contests are of frequent occurrence; and I invariably succumb. + +But for all that, I had to announce my departure to Therese. She +came into the library with an armful of wood to make a little fire-- +"une flambe," she said. For the mornings are chilly. I watched +her out of the corner of my eye while she crouched down at the +hearth, with her head in the opening of the fireplace. I do not +know how I then found the courage to speak, but I did so without +much hesitation. I got up, and, walking up and down the room, +observed in a careless tone, with that swaggering manner +characteristic of cowards, + +"By the way, Therese, I am going to Sicily." + +Having thus spoken, I awaited the consequence with great anxiety. +Therese did not reply. Her head and her vast cap remained buried +in the fireplace; and nothing in her person, which I closely +watched, betrayed the least emotion. She poked some paper under the +wood, and blew up the fire. That was all! + +Finally I saw her face again;--it was calm--so calm that it made +me vexed. "Surely," I thought to myself, "this old maid has no heart. +She lets me go away without saying so much as AH! Can the absence +of her old master really affect her so little?" + +"Well, then go, Monsieur," she answered at last, "only be back here +by six o'clock! There is a dish for dinner to-day which will not +wait for anybody." + + + +Naples, November 10, 1859. + + +"Co tra calle vive, magna, e lave a faccia." + +I understand, my friend--for three centimes I can eat, drink, and +wash my face, all by means of one of those slices of watermelon +you display there on a little table. But Occidental prejudices +would prevent me from enjoying that simple pleasure freely and +frankly. And how could I suck a watermelon? I have enough to do +mereley to keep on my feet in this crowd. What a luminous, noisy +night in the Strada di Porto! Mountains of fruit tower up in the +shops, illuminated by multicoloured lanterns. Upon charcoal furnaces +lighted in the open air water boils and steams, and ragouts are +singing in frying-pans. The smell of fried fish and hot meats +tickles my nose and makes me sneeze. At this moment I find that my +handkerchief has left the pocket of my frock-coat. I am pushed, +lifted up, and turned about in every direction by the gayest, the +most talkative, the most animated and the most adroit populace +possible to imagine; and suddenly a young woman of the people, +while I am admiring her magnificent hair, with a single shock of +her powerful elastic shoulder, pushes me staggering three paces back +at least, without injury, into the arms of a maccaroni-eater, who +receives me with a smile. + +I am in Naples. How I ever managed to arrive here, with a few +mutilated and shapeless remains of baggage, I cannot tell, because +I am no longer myself. I have been travelling in a condition of +perpetual fright; and I think that I must have looked awhile ago +in this bright city like an owl bewildered by sunshine. To-night +it is much worse! Wishing to obtain a glimpse of popular manners, +I went to the Strada di Porto, where I now am. All about me animated +throngs of people crowd and press before the eating-places; and I +float like a waif among these living surges, which, even while they +submerge you, still caress. For this Neopolitan people has, in its +very vivacity, something indescribably gentle and polite. I am not +roughly jostled, I am merely swayed about; and I think that by dint +of thus rocking me to and fro, these good folks want to lull me +asleep on my feet. I admire, as I tread the lava pavements of the +strada, those porters and fishermen who move by me chatting, +singing, smoking, gesticulating, quarrelling, and embracing each +other the next moment with astonishing versatility of mood. They +live through all their sense at the same time; and, being philosophers +without knowing it, keep the measure of their desires in accordance +with the brevity of life. I approach a much-patronised tavern, and +see inscribed above the entrance this quatrain in Neopolitan patois: + + + "Amice, alliegre magnammo e bevimmo + N fin che n'ce stace noglio a la lucerna: + Chi sa s'a l'autro munno n'ce verdimmo? + Chi sa s'a l'autro munno n'ce taverna?" + ["Friends, let us merrily eat and drink + as long as oil remains in the lamp: + Who knows if we shall meet again in another world? + Who knows if in the other world there will be a tavern?"] + + +Even such counsels was Horace wont to give to his friends. You +received them, Posthumus; you heard them also, Leuconoe, perverse +beauty who wished to know the secrets of the future. That future +is now the past, and we know it well. Of a truth you were foolish +to worry yourselves about so small a matter; and your friend +showed his good sense when he told you to take life wisely and to +filter your Greek wines--"Sapias, vina liques." Even thus the +sight of a fair land under a spotless sky urges to the pursuit of +quiet pleasures. but there are souls for ever harassed by some +sublime discontent; those are the noblest. You were of such, +Leuconoe; and I, visiting for the first time, in my declining years, +that city where your beauty was famed of old, I salute with deep +respect your melancholy memory. Those souls of kin to your own who +appeared in the age of Chrisitianity were souls of saints; and the +"Golden Legend" is full of the miracles they wrought. Your friend +Horace left a less noble posterity, and I see one of his descendants +in the person of that tavern poet, who at this moment is serving +out wine in cups under the epicurean motto of his sign. + +And yet life decides in favour of friend Flaccus, and his philosophy +is the only one which adapts itself to the course of events. There +is a fellow leaning against that trellis-work covered with vine- +leaves, and eating an ice, while watching the stars. He would not +stoop even to pick up the old manuscript I am going to seek with so +much trouble and fatigue. And in truth man is made rather to eat +ices than to pore over old texts. + +I continued to wander about among the drinkers and the singers. +There were lovers biting into beautiful fruit, each with an arm +about the other's waist. Man must be naturally bad; for all this +strange joy only evoked in me a feeling of uttermost despondency. +That thronging populace displayed such artless delight in the simple +act of living, that all the shynesses begotten by my old habits as +an author awoke and intensified into something like fright. +Furthermore, I found myself much discouraged by my inability to +understand a word of all the storm of chatter about me. It was a +humiliating experience for a philologist. Thus I had begun to feel +quite sulky, when I was startled to hear someone behind me observe: + +"Dimitri, that old man is certainly a Frenchman. He looks so +bewildered that I really fell sorry for him. Shall I speak to him? +...He has such a goo-natured look, with that round back of his--do +you not think so, Dimitri?" + +It was said in French by a woman's voice. For the moment it was +disagreeable to hear myself spoken of as an old man. Is a man old +at sixty-two? Only the other day, on the Pont des Arts, my colleague +Perrot d'Avrignac complimented me on my youthful appearance; and I +should think him a better authority about one's age than that young +chatterbox who has taken it on herself to make remarks about my +back. My back is round, she says. Ah! ah! I had some suspicion +myself to that effect, but I am not going now to believe it at all, +since it is the opinion of a giddy-headed young woman. Certainly +I will not turn my head round to see who it was that spoke; but I +am sure it was a pretty woman. Why? Because she talks like a +capricious person and like a spoiled child. Ugly women may be +naturally quite as capricious as pretty ones; but as they are never +petted and spoiled, and as no allowances are made for them, they +soon find themselves obliged either to suppress their whims or to +hide them. On the other hand, the pretty women can be just as +fantastical as they please. My neighbour is evidently one of the +latter.... But, after all, coming to think it over, she really +did nothing worse than to express, in her own way, a kindly thought +about me, for which I ought to feel grateful. + +These reflections--include the last and decisive one--passed through +my mind in less than a second; and if I have taken a whole minute +to tell them, it is characteristic of most philologists. In less +than a second, therefore, after the voice had ceased, I did turn +round, and saw a pretty little woman--a sprightly brunette. + +"Madame," I said, with a bow, "excuse my involuntary indiscretion. +I could not help overhearing what you have just said. You would +like to be of service to a poor old man. And the wish, Madame, has +already been fulfilled--the mere sound of a French voice has given +me such pleasure that I must thank you." + +I bowed again, and turned to go away; but my foot slipped upon a +melon-rind, and I should certainly have embraced the Parthenopean +soil had not the young lady put out her hand and caught me. + +There is a force in circumstances--even in the very smallest +circumstances--against which resistance is vain. I resigned myself +to remain the protege of the fair unknown. + +"It is late," she said; "do you not wish to go back to your hotel, +which must be quite close to ours--unless it be the same one?" + +"Madame," I replied, "I do not know what time it is, because +somebody has stolen my watch; but I think, as you say, that it must +be time to retire; and I shall be very glad to regain my hotel in +the company of such courteous compatriots." + +So saying, I bowed once more to the young lady, and also saluted +her companion, a silent colossus with a gentle and melancholy face. + +After having gone a little way with them, I learned, among other +matters, that my new acquaintances were the Prince and Princess +Trepof, and that they were making a trip round the world for the +purpose of finding match-boxes, of which they were making a +collection. + +We proceeded along a narrow, tortuous vicoletto, lighted only by +a single lamp burning in the niche of a Madonna. The purity and +transparency of the air gave a celestial softness and clearness to +the very darkness itself; and one could find one's way without +difficulty under such a limpid night. But in a little while we +began to pass through a "venella," or, in Neopolitan parlance, a +sottoportico, which led under so many archways and so many far- +projecting balconies that no gleam of light from the sky could +reach us. My young guide had made us take this route as a short +cut, she assured us; but I think she did so quite as much simply +in order to show that she felt at home in Naples, and knew the +city thoroughly. Indeed, she needed to know it very thoroughly +to venture by night into that labyrinth of subterranean alleys and +flights of steps. If ever any many showed absolute docility in +allowing himself to be guided, that man was myself. Dante never +followed the steps of Beatrice with more confidence than I felt in +following those of Princess Trepof. + +The lady appeared to find some pleasure in my conversation, for +she invited me to take a carriage-drive with her on the morrow to +visit the grotto of Posilippo and the tomb of Virgil. She declared +she had seen me somewhere before; but she could not remember if it +had been a Stockholm or at Canton. In the former event I was a +very celebrated professor of geology; in the latter, a provision- +merchant whose courtesy and kindness had been much appreciated. +One thing certain was that she had seen my back somewhere before. + +"Excuse me," she added; "we are continually travelling, my husband +and I, to collect match-boxes and to change our ennui by changing +country. Perhaps it would be more reasonable to content ourselves +with a single variety of ennui. But we have made all our +preparations and arrangements for travelling: all our plans have +been laid out in advance, and it gives us no trouble, whereas it +would be very troublesome for us to stop anywhere in particular. +I tell you all this so that you many not be surprised if my +recollections have become a little mixed up. But from the moment +I first saw you at a distance this evening, I felt--in fact I knew-- +that I had seen you before. Now the question is, 'Where was it +that I saw you?' You are not then, either the geologist or the +provision-merchant?" + +"No, Madame," I replied, "I am neither the one nor the other; and +I am sorry for it--since you have had reason to esteem them. There +is really nothing about me worthy of your interest. I have spent +all my life poring over books, and I have never traveled: you +might have known that from my bewilderment, which excited your +compassion. I am a member of the Institute." + +"You are a member of the Institute! How nice! Will you not write +something for me in my album? Do you know Chinese? I would like +so much to have you write something in Chinese or Persian in my +album. I will introduce you to my friend, Miss Fergusson, who +travels everywhere to see all the famous people in the world. She +will be delighted.... Dimitri, did you hear that?--this gentleman +is a member of the Institute, and he has passed all his life over +books." + +The prince nodded approval. + +"Monsieur," I said, trying to engage him in our conversation, "it +is true that something can be learned from books; but a great deal +more can be learned by travelling, and I regret that I have not +been able to go round the world like you. I have lived in the same +house for thirty years and I scarcely every go out." + +"Lived in the same house for thirty years!" cried Madame Trepof; +"is it possible?" + +"Yes, Madame," I answered. "But you must know the house is situated +on the bank of the Seine, and in the very handsomest and most famous +part of the world. From my window I can see the Tuileries and the +Louvre, the Pont-Neuf, the towers of Notre-Dame, the turrets of +the Palais de Justice, and the spire of the Sainte-Chapelle. All +those stones speak to me; they tell me stories about the days of +Saint-Louis, of the Valois, of Henri IV., and of Louus XIV. I +understand them, and I love them all. It is only a very small +corner of the world, but honestly, Madame, where is there a more +glorious spot?" + +At this moment we found ourselves upon a public square--a largo +steeped in the soft glow of the night. Madame Trepof looked at +me in an uneasy manner; her lifted eyebrows almost touched the +black curls about her forehead. + +"Where do you live then?" she demanded brusquely. + +"On the Quai Malaquais, Madame, and my name is Bonnard. It is not +a name very widely known, but I am contented if my friends do not +forget it." + +This revelation, unimportant as it was, produced an extraordinary +effect upon Madame Trepof. She immediately turned her back upon +me and caught her husband's arm. + +"Come, Dimitri!" she exclaimed, "do walk a little faster. I am +horribly tired, and you will not hurry yourself in the least. We +shall never get home.... As for you, monsieur, your way lies over +there!" + +She made a vague gesture in the direction of some dark vicolo, +pushed her husband the opposite way, and called to me, without even +turning her head. + +"Adieu, Monsieur! We shall not go to Posilippo to-morrow, nor the +day after, either. I have a frightful headache!... Dimitri, you +are unendurable! will you not walk faster?" + +I remained for the moment stupefied, vainly trying to think what I +could have done to offend Madame Trepof. I had also lost my way, +and seemed doomed to wander about all night. In order to ask my +way, I would have to see somebody; and it did not seem likely that +I should find a single human being who could understand me. In +my despair I entered a street at random--a street, or rather a +horrible alley that had the look of a murderous place. It proved +so in fact, for I had not been two minutes in it before I saw two +men fighting with knives. They were attacking each other more +fiercely with their tongues than with their weapons; and I +concluded from the nature of the abuse they were showering upon +each other that it was a love affair. I prudently made my way into +a side alley while those two good fellows were still much too busy +with their own affairs to think about mine. I wandered hopelessly +about for a while, and at last sat down, completely discouraged, +on a stone bench, inwardly cursing the strange caprices of Madame +Trepof. + +"How are you, Signor? Are you back from San Carlo? Did you hear +the diva sing? It is only at Naples you can hear singing like +hers." + +I looked up, and recognised my host. I had seated myself with my +back to the facade of my hotel, under the window of my own room. + + + + +Monte-Allegro, November 30, 1859. + + +We were all resting--myself, my guides, and their mules--on a road +from Sciacca to Girgenti, at a tavern in the miserable village of +Monte-Allegro, whose inhabitants, consumed by the mal aria, +continually shiver in the sun. But nevertheless they are Greeks, +and their gaiety triumphs over all circumstances. A few gather +about the tavern, full of smiling curiosity. One good story +would have sufficed, had I known how to tell it to them, to make +them forget all the woes of life. They had all a look of +intelligence! and their women, although tanned and faded, wore +their long black cloaks with much grace. + +Before me I could see old ruins whitened by the sea-wind--ruins +about which no grass ever grows. The dismal melancholy of deserts +prevails over this arid land, whose cracked surface can barely +nourish a few shriveled mimosas, cacti, and dwarf palms. Twenty +yards away, along the course of a ravine, stones were gleaming +whitely like a long line of scattered bones. They told me that was +the bed of a stream. + +I had been fifteen days in Sicily. On coming into the Bay of +Palermo--which opens between the two mighty naked masses of the +Pelligrino and the Catalfano, and extends inward along the "Golden +Conch"--the view inspired me with such admiration that I resolved +to travel a little in this island, so ennobled by historic memories, +and rendered so beautiful by the outlines of its hills, which reveal +the principles of Greek art. Old pilgrim though I was, grown hoary +in the Gothic Occident--I dared to venture upon that classic soil; +and, securing a guide, I went from Palermo to Trapani, from Trapani +to Selinonte, from Selinonte to Sciacca--which I left this morning +to go to Girgenti, where I am to find the MS. of Clerk Alexander. +The beautiful things I have seen are still so vivid in my mind that +I feel the task of writing them would be a useless fatigue. Why +spoil my pleasure-trip by collecting notes? Lovers who love truly +do not write down their happiness. + +Wholly absorbed by the melancholy of the present and the poetry of +the past, my thoughts people with beautiful shapes, and my eyes +ever gratified by the pure and harmonious lines of the landscape, +I was resting in the tavern at Monte-Allegro, sipping a glass of +heavy, fiery wine, when I saw two persons enter the waiting-room, +whom, after a moment's hesitation, I recognised as the Prince and +Princess Trepof. + +This time I saw the princess in the light--and what a light! He +who has known that of Sicily can better comprehend the words of +Sophocles: "Oh holy light!... Eye of the Golden Day!" Madame +Trepof, dressed in a brown-holland and wearing a broad-brimmed straw +hat, appeared to me a very pretty woman of about twenty-eight. +Her eyes were luminous as a child's; but her slightly plump chin +indicated the age of plenitude. She is, I must confess it, quite +an attractive person. She is supple and changeful; her mood is +like water itself--and, thank Heaven! I am no navigator. I thought +I discerned in her manner a sort of ill-humour, which I attributed +presently, by reason of some observations she uttered at random, +to the fact that she had met no brigands upon her route. + +"Such things only happen to us!" she exclaimed, with a gesture of +discouragement. + +She called for a glass of iced water, which the landlord presented +to her with a gesture that recalled to me those scenes of funeral +offerings painted upon Greek vases. + +I was in no hurry to introduce myself to a lady who had so abruptly +dropped my acquaintance in the public square at Naples; but she +perceived me in my corner, and her frown notified me very plainly +that our accidental meeting was disagreeable to her. + +After she had sipper her ice-water for a few moments--whether because +her whim had suddenly changed, or because my loneliness aroused her +pity, I did not know--she walked directly to me. + +"Good-day, Monsieur Bonnard," she said. "How do you do? What strange +chance enables us to meet again in this frightful country?" + +"This country is not frightful, Madame," I replied. "Beauty is so +great and so august a quality that centuries of barbarism cannot +efface it so completely that adorable vestiges of it will not always +remain. The majesty of the antique Ceres still overshadows these +arid valleys; and that Greek Muse who made Arethusa and Maenalus +ring with her divine accents, still sings for my ears upon the barren +mountain and in the place of the dried-up spring. Yes, Madame, when +our globe, no longer inhabited, shall, like the moon, roll a wan +corpse through space, the soil which bears the ruins of Selinonte +will still keep the seal of beauty in the midst of universal death; +and then, then, at least there will be no frivolous mouth to blaspheme +the grandeur of these solitudes." + +I knew well enough that my words were beyond the comprehension of the +pretty little empty-head which heard them. But an old fellow like +myself who has worn out his life over books does not know how to +adapt his tone to circumstances. Besides I wished to give Madame +Trepof a lesson in politeness. She received it with so much +submission, and with such an air of comprehension, that I hastened to +add, as good-naturedly as possible, + +"As to whether the chance which has enabled me to meet you again be +lucky or unlucky, I cannot decide the question until I am sure that +my presence be not disagreeable to you. You appeared to become weary +of my company very suddenly at Naples the other day. I can only +attribute that misfortune to my naturally unpleasant manner--since, +on that occasion, I had had the honour of meeting you for the first +time in my life." + +These words seem to cause her inexplicable joy. She smiled upon me +in the most gracious, mischievous way, and said very earnestly, +holding out her hand, which I touched with my lips, + +"Monsieur Bonnard, do not refuse to accept a seat in my carriage. +You can chat with me on the way about antiquity, and that will amuse +me ever so much." + +"My dear," exclaimed the prince, "you can do just as you please; but +you ought to remember that one is horribly cramped in that carriage +of yours; and I fear that you are only offering Monsieur Bonnard +the chance of getting a frightful attack of lumbago." + +Madame Trepof simply shook her head by way of explaining that such +considerations had no weight with her whatever; then she untied her +hat. The darkness of her black curls descended over her eyes, and +bathed them in velvety shadow. She remained a little while quite +motionless, and her face assumed a surprising expression of reverie. +But all of a sudden she darted at some oranges which the tavern-keeper +had brought in a basket, and began to throw them, one by one, into a +fold of her dress. + +"These will be nice on the road," she said. "We are going just where +you are going--to Girgenti. I must tell you all about it. you know +that my husband is making a collection of match-boxes. We bought +thirteen hundred match-boxes at Marseilles. But we heard there was +a factory of them at Girgenti. According to what we were told, it +is a very small factory, and its products--which are very ugly--never +go outside the city and its suburbs. So we are going to Girgenti just +to buy match-boxes. Dimitri has been a collector of all sorts of +things; but the only kind of collection which can now interest him +is a collection of match-boxes. He has already got five thousand +two hundred and fourteen different kinds. Some of them gave us +frightful trouble to find. For instance, we knew that at Naples +boxes were once made with the portraits of Mazzini and Garibaldi on +them; and that the police had seized the plates from which the +portraits were printed, and put the manufacturer in gaol. Well, by +dint of searching and inquiring for ever so long a while, we found +one of those boxes at last for sale at one hundred francs, instead +of two sous. It was not really too dear at that price; but we were +denounced for buying it. We were taken for conspirators. All our +baggage was searched; they could not find the box, because I had +hidden it so well; but they found my jewels, and carried them off. +They have them still. The incident made quite a sensation, and we +were going to get arrested. But the king was displeased about it, +and he ordered them to leave us alone. Up to that time, I used to +think it was very stupid to collect match-boxes; but when I found +that there were risks of losing liberty, and perhaps even life, by +doing it, I began to feel a taste for it. Now I am an absolute +fanatic on the subject. We are going to Sweden next summer to +complete our series.... Are we not, Dimitri?" + +I felt--must I confess it?--a thorough sympathy with these intrepid +collectors. No doubt I would rather have found Monsieur and Madame +Trepof engaged in collecting antique marbles or painted vases in +Sicily. I should have like to have found them interested in the +ruins of Syracuse, or the poetical traditions of the Eryx. But at +all events, they were making some sort of a collection--they belonged +to the great confraternity--and I could not possibly make fun of them +without making fun of myself. Besides, Madame Trepof had spoken of +her collection with such an odd mingling of irony and enthusiasm that +I could not help finding the idea a very good one. + +We were getting ready to leave the tavern, when we noticed some +people coming downstairs from the upper room, carrying carbines under +their dark cloaks. to me they had the look of thorough bandits; and +after they were gone I told Monsieur Trepof my opinion of them. He +answered me, very quietly, that he also thought they were regular +bandits; and the guides begged us to apply for an escort of gendarmes, +but Madame Trepof besought us not to do anything of the kind. She +declared that we must not "spoil her journey." + +Then, turning her persuasive eyes upon me, she asked, + +"Do you not believe, Monsieur Bonnard, that there is nothing in life +worth having except sensations?" + +"Why, certainly, Madame," I answered; "but then we must take into +consideration the nature of the sensations themselves. Those which +a noble memory or a grand spectacle creates within us certainly +represent what is best in human life; but those merely resulting +from the menace of danger seem to me sensations which one should be +very careful to avoid as much as possible. For example, would you +think it a very pleasant thing, Madame, while travelling over the +mountains at midnight, to find the muzzle of a carbine suddenly +pressed against your forehead?" + +"Oh, no!" she replied; "the comic-operas have made carbines absolutely +ridiculous, and it would be a great misfortune to any young woman +to find herself in danger from an absurd weapon. But it would be +quite different with a knife--a very cold and very bright knife blade, +which makes a cold shudder go right through one's heart." + +She shuddered even as she spoke; closed her eyes, and threw her head +back. Then she resumed: + +"People like you are so happy! You can interest yourselves in all +sorts of things!" + +She gave a sidelong look at her husband, who was talking with the +innkeeper. Then she leaned towards me, and murmured very low: + +"You see, Dimitri and I, we are both suffering from ennui! We +have still the match-boxes. But at last one gets tired even of +match-boxes. Besides, our collection will soon be complete. And +then what are we going to do?" + +"Oh, Madame!" I exclaimed, touched by the moral unhappiness of this +pretty person, "if you only had a son, then you would know what to +do. You would then learn the purpose of your life, and your thoughts +would become at once more serious and yet more cheerful." + +"But I have a son," she replied. "He is a big boy; he is eleven +years old, and he suffers from ennui like the rest of us. Yes, my +George has ennui, too; he is tired of everything. It is very +wretched." + +She glanced again towards her husband, who was superintending the +harnessing of the mules on the road outside--testing the condition +of girths and straps. Then she asked me whether there had been many +changes on the Quai Malaquais during the past ten years. She declared +she never visited that neighbourhood because it was too far way. + +"Too far from Monte Allegro?" I queried. + +"Why, no!" she replied. "Too far from the Avenue des Champs Elysees, +where we live." + +And she murmured over again, as if talking to herself, "Too far!--too +far!" in a tone of reverie which I could not possibly account for. +All at once she smiled again, and said to me, + +"I like you, Monsieur Bonnard!--I like you very, very much!" + +The mules had been harnessed. The young woman hastily picked up a +few oranges which had rolled off her lap; rose up; looked at me, +and burst out laughing. + +"Oh!" she exclaimed, "how I should like to see you grappling with the +brigands! You would say such extraordinary things to them!... +Please take my hat, and hold my umbrella for me, Monsieur Bonnard." + +"What a strange little mind!" I thought to myself, as I followed +her. "It could only have been in a moment of inexcusable +thoughtlessness that Nature gave a child to such a giddy little +woman!" + + + +Girgenti. Same day. + + +Her manners had shocked me. I left her to arrange herself in her +lettica, and I made myself as comfortable as I could in my own. +These vehicles, which have no wheels, are carried by two mules--one +before and one behind. This kind of litter, or chaise, is of ancient +origin. I had often seen representations of similar ones in the +French MSS. of the fourteenth century. I had no idea then that one +of those vehicles would be at a future day placed at my own disposal. +We must never be too sure of anything. + +For three hours the mules sounded their little bells, and thumped +the calcined ground with their hoofs. On either hand there slowly +defiled by us the barren monstrous shapes of a nature totally African. + +Half-way we made a halt to allow our animals to recover breath. + +Madame Trepof came to me on the road, took my arm, and drew me a +little away from the party. Then, very suddenly, she said to me in +a tone of voice I had never heard before: + +"Do not think that I am a wicked woman. My George knows that I am a +good mother." + +We walked side by side for a moment in silence. She looked up, and +I saw that she was crying. + +"Madame," I said to her, "look at this soil which has been burned +and cracked by five long months of fiery heat. A little white lily +has sprung up from it." + +And I pointed with my cane to the frail stalk, tipped by a double +blossom. + +"Your heart," I said, "however arid it be, bears also its white +lily; and that is reason enough why I do not believe that you are +what you say--a wicked woman." + +"Yes, yes, yes!" she cried, with the obstinacy of a child--"I am a +wicked woman. But I am ashamed to appear so before you who are so +good--so very, very good." + +"You do not know anything at all about it," I said to her. + +"I know it! I know all about you, Monsieur Bonnard!" she declared, +with a smile. + +And she jumped back into her lettica. + + + +Girgenti, November 30, 1859. + + +I awoke the following morning in the House of Gellias. Gellias was +a rich citizen of ancient Agrigentum. He was equally celebrated +for his generosity and for his wealth; and he endowed his native +city with a great number of free inns. Gellias has been dead for +thirteen hundred years; and nowadays there is no gratuitous +hospitality among civilised peoples. But the name of Gellias has +become that of a hotel in which, by reason of fatigue, I was able to +obtain one good night's sleep. + +The modern Girgenti lifts its high, narrow, solid streets, dominated +by a sombre Spanish cathedral, upon the side of the acropolis of +the antique Agrigentum. I can see from my windows, half-way on the +hillside towards the sea, the white range of temples partially +destroyed. The ruins alone have some aspect of coolness. All the +rest is arid. Water and life have forsaken Agrigentine. Water--the +divine Nestis of the Agrigentine Empedocles--is so necessary to +animated beings that nothing can live far from the rivers and the +springs. But the port of Girgenti, situated at a distance of three +kilometres from the city, has a great commerce. "And it is in this +dismal city," I said to myself, "upon this precipitous rock, that +the manuscript of Clerk Alexander is to be found!" I asked my way +to the house of Signor Michel-Angelo Polizzi, and proceeded thither. + +I found Signor Polizzi, dressed all in white from head to feet, busy +cooking sausages in a frying-pan. At the sight of me, he let go +the frying-pan, threw up his arms in the air, and uttered shrieks +of enthusiasm. He was a little man whose pimply features, aquiline +nose, round eyes, and projecting chin formed a very expressive +physiognomy. + +He called me "Excellence," said he was going to mark the day with a +white stone, and made me sit down. The hall in which we were +represented the union of the kitchen, reception-room, bedchamber, +studio, and wine-cellar. There were charcoal furnaces visible, a +bed, paintings, an easel, bottles, strings of onions, and a +magnificent lustre of coloured glass pendants. I glanced at the +paintings on the wall. + +"The arts! the arts!" cried Signor Polizzi, throwing up his arms +again to heaven--"the arts! What dignity! what consolation! +Excellence, I am a painter!" + +And he showed me an unfinished Saint-Francis, which indeed could +very well remain unfinished for ever without any loss to religion +or to art. Next he showed me some old paintings of a better style, +but apparently restored after a decidedly reckless manner. + +"I repair," he said--"I repair old paintings. Oh, the Old Masters! +What genius, what soul!" + +"Why, then," I said to him, "you must be a painter, an archaeologist, +and a wine-merchant all in one?" + +"At your service, Excellence," he answered. "I have a zucco here +at this very moment--a zucco of which every single drop is a pearl +of fire. I want your Lordship to taste of it." + +"I esteem the wines of Sicily," I responded, "but it was not for the +sake of your flagons that I came to see you , Signor Polizzi." + +He: "Then you have come to see me about paintings. You are an +amateur. It is an immense delight for me to receive amateurs. I +am going to show you the chef-d'oeuvre of Monrealese; yes, +Excellence, his chef-d'oeuvre! An Adoration of Shepherds! It is +the pearl of the whole Sicilian school!" + +I: "Later on I will be glad to see the chef-d'oeuvre; but let us +first talk about the business which brings me here." + +His little quick bright eyes watched my face curiously; and I +perceived, with anguish, that he had not the least suspicion of the +purpose of my visit. + +A cold sweat broke out over my forehead; and in the bewilderment of +my anxiety I stammered out something to this effect: + +"I have come from Paris expressly to look at a manuscript of the +Legende Doree, which you informed me was in your possession." + +At these words he threw up his arms, opened his mouth and eyes to +the widest possible extent, and betrayed every sign of extreme +nervousness. + +"Oh! the manuscript of the 'Golden Legend!' A pearl, Excellence! +a ruby, a diamond! Two miniatures so perfect that they give one +the feeling of glimpses of Paradise! What suavity! Those colours +ravished from the corollas of flowers make a honey for the eyes! +Even a Sicilian could have done no better!" + +"Let me see it, then," I asked; unable to conceal either my anxiety +or my hope. + +"Let you see it!" cried Polizzi. "But how can I, Excellence? I +have not got it any longer! I have not got it!" + +And he seemed determined to tear out his hair. He might indeed have +pulled every hair in his head out of his hide before I should have +tried to prevent him. But he stopped of his own accord, before he +had done himself any grievous harm. + +"What!" I cried out in anger--"what! you make me come all the way +from Paris to Girgenti, by promising to show me a manuscript, and +now, when I come, you tell me you have not got it! It is simply +infamous, Monsieur! I shall leave your conduct to be judged by all +honest men!" + +Anybody who could have seen me at that moment would have been able +to form a good idea of the aspect of a furious sheep. + +"It is infamous! it is infamous!" I repeated, waving my arms, which +trembled from anger. + +Then Michel-Angelo Polizzi let himself fall into a chair in the +attitude of a dying hero. I saw his eyes fill with tears, and his +hair--until then flamboyant and erect upon his head--fall down in +limp disorder over his brow. + +"I am a father, Excellence! I am a father!" he groaned, wringing +his hands. + +He continued, sobbing: + +"My son Rafael--the son of my poor wife, for whose death I have been +mourning fifteen years--Rafael, Excellence, wanted to settle at Paris; +he hired a shop in the Rue Lafitte for the sale of curiosities. I +gave him everything precious which I had--I gave him my finest +majolicas; my most beautiful Urbino ware; my masterpieces of art; +what paintings, Signor! Even now they dazzle me with I see them only +in imagination! And all of them signed! Finally, I gave him the +manuscript of the 'Golden Legend'! I would have given him my flesh +and my blood! An only son, Signor! the son of my poor saintly wife!" + +"So," I said, "while I--relying on your written word, Monsieur--was +travelling to the very heart of Sicily to find the manuscript of the +Clerk Alexander, the same manuscript was actually exposed for sale +in a window in the Rue Lafitte, only fifteen hundred yards from my +house?" + +"Yes, it was there! that is positively true!" exclaimed Signor +Polizzi, suddenly growing calm again; "and it is there still--at least +I hope it is, Excellence." + +He took a card from a shelf as he spoke, and offered it to me, saying, + +"Here is the address of my son. Make it known to your friends, and +you will oblige me. Faience and enameled wares; hangings; pictures. +He has a complete stock of objects of art--all at the fairest possible +prices--and everything authentic, I can vouch for it, upon my honour! +Go and see him. He will show you the manuscript of the 'Golden +Legend.' Two miniatures miraculously fresh in colour!" + +I was feeble enough to take the card he held out to me. + +The fellow was taking further advantage of my weakness to make me +circulate the name of Rafael Polizzi among the Societies of the +learned! + +My hand was already on the door-knob, when the Sicilian caught me by +the arm; he had a look as of sudden inspiration. + +"Ah! Excellence!" he cried, "what a city is this city of ours! It +gave birth to Empedocles! Empedocles! What a great man what a +great citizen! What audacity of thought! what virtue! what soul! +At the port over there is a statue of Empedocles, before which I +bare my head each time that I pass by! When Rafael, my son, was +going away to found an establishment of antiquities in the Rue +Lafitte, at Paris, I took him to the port, and there, at the foot +of that statue of Empedocles, I bestowed upon him my paternal +benediction! 'Always remember Empedocles!' I said to him. Ah! +Signor, what our unhappy country needs to-day is a new Empedocles! +Would you not like me to show you the way to his statue, Excellence? +I will be your guide among the ruins here. I will show you the temple +of Castor and Pollux, the temple of the Olympian Jupiter, the temple +of the Lucinian Juno, the antique well, the tomb of Theron, and the +Gate of Gold! All the professional guides are asses; but we--we +shall make excavations, if you are willing--and we shall discover +treasures! I know the science of discovering hidden treasures--the +secret art of finding their whereabouts--a gift from Heaven!" + +I succeeded in tearing myself away from his grasp. But he ran after +me again, stopped me at the foot of the stairs, and said in my ear, + +"Listen, Excellence. I will conduct you about the city; I will +introduce you to some Girgentines! What a race! what types! what +forms! Sicilian girls, Signor!--the antique beauty itself!" + +"Go to the devil!" I cried at last, in anger, and rushed into the +street, leaving him still writhing in the loftiness of his enthusiasm. + +When I had got out of his sight, I sank down upon a stone, and began +to think, with my face in my hands. + +"And it was for this," I said to myself--"it was to hear such +propositions as this that I came to Sicily! That Polizzi is simply a +scoundrel, and his son another; and they made a plan together to ruin +me." But what was their scheme? I could not unravel it. Meanwhile, +it may be imagined how discouraged and humiliated I felt. + +A merry burst of laughter caused me to turn my head, and I saw Madame +Trepof running in advance of her husband, and holding up something +which I could not distinguish clearly. + +She sat down beside me, and showed me--laughing more merrily all the +while--an abominable little paste-board box, on which was printed a +red and blue face, which the inscription declared to be the face of +Empedocles. + +"Yes, Madame," I said, "but that abominable Polizzi, to whom I advise +you not to send Monsieur Trepof, has made me fall out for ever with +Empedocles; and this portrait is not at all of a nature to make me +feel more kindly to the ancient philosopher." + +"Oh!" declared Madame Trepof, "it is ugly, but it is rare! These +boxes are not exported at all; you can buy them only where they are +made. Dimitri has six others just like this in his pocket. We +got them so as to exchange with other collectors. You understand? +At none o'clock this morning we were at the factory. You see we +did not waste our time." + +"So I certainly perceive, Madame," I replied, bitterly; "but I have +lost mine." + +I then saw that she was a naturally good-hearted woman. All her +merriment vanished. + +"Poor Monsieur Bonnard! poor Monsieur Bonnard!" she murmured. + +And, taking my hand in hers, she added: + +"Tell me about your troubles." + +I told her about them. My story was long; but she was evidently +touched by it, for she asked me quite a number of circumstantial +questions, which I took for proof of her friendly interest. She +wanted to know the exact title of the manuscript, its shape, its +appearance, and its age; she asked me for the address of Signor Rafael +Polizzi. + +And I gave it to her; thus doing (O destiny!) precisely what the +abominable Polizzi had told me to do. + +It is sometimes difficult to check oneself. I recommenced my plaints +and my imprecations. But this time Madame Trepof only burst out +laughing. + +"Why do you laugh?" I asked her. + +"Because I am a wicked woman," she answered. + +And she fled away, leaving me all disheartened on my stone. + + + +Paris, December 8, 1859. + + +My unpacked trunks still encumbered the hall. I was seated at a +tabled covered with all those good things which the land of France +produces for the delectation of gourmets. I was eating a pate +le Chartres, which is alone sufficient to make one love one's +country. Therese, standing before me with her hands joined over her +white apron, was looking at me with benignity, with anxiety, and with +pity. Hamilcar was rubbing himself against my legs, wild with +delight. + +These words of an old poet came back to my memory: + +"Happy is he who, like Ulysses, hath made a goodly journey." + +..."Well," I thought to myself, "I travelled to no purpose; I have +come back with empty hands; but, like Ulysses, I made a goodly +journey." + +And having taken my last sip of coffee, I asked Therese for my hat +and cane, which she gave me not without dire suspicions; she feared +I might be going upon another journey. But I reassured her by telling +her to have dinner ready at six o'clock. + +It had always been a keen pleasure for me to breathe the air in those +Parisian streets whose every paving-slab and every stone I love +devotedly. But I had an end in view, and I took my way straight to +the Rue Lafitte. I was not long in find the establishment of Signor +Rafael Polizzi. It was distinguishable by a great display of old +paintings which, although all bearing the signature of some +illustrious artist, had a certain family air of resemblance that +might have suggested some touching idea about the fraternity of +genius, had it not still more forcibly suggested the professional +tricks of Polizzi senior. Enriched by these doubtful works of art, +the shop was further rendered attractive by various petty curiosities: +poniards, drinking-vessels, goblets, figulines, brass guadrons, +and Hispano-Arabian wares of metallic lustre. + +Upon a Portuguese arm-chair, decorated with an escutcheon, lay a copy +of the "Heures" of Simon Vostre, open at the page which has an +astrological figure on it; and an old Vitruvius, placed upon a quaint +chest, displayed its masterly engravings of caryatides and telamones. +This apparent disorder which only masked cunning arrangement, this +factitious hazard which had placed the best objects in the most +favourable light, would have increased my distrust of the place, but +that the distrust which the mere name of Polizzi had already inspired +could not have been increased by any circumstances--being already +infinite. + +Signor Rafael, who sat there as the presiding genius of all these +vague and incongruous shapes, impressed me as a phlegmatic young man, +with a sort of English character. he betrayed no sign whatever of +those transcendent faculties displayed by his father in the arts of +mimcry and declamation. + +I told him what I had come for; he opened a cabinet and drew from it +a manuscript, which he placed on a table that I might examine it at +my leisure. + +Never in my life did I experience such an emotion--except, indeed, +during some few brief months of my youth, months whose memories, +though I should live a hundred years, would remain as fresh at my +last hour as in the first day they came to me. + +It was, indeed, the very manuscript described by the librarian of +Sir Thomas Raleigh; it was, indeed, the manuscript of the Clerk +Alexander which I saw, which I touched! The work of Voragine himself +had been perceptibly abridged; but that made little difference to +me. All the inestimable additions of the monk of Saint-Germain- +des-Pres were there. That was the main point! I tried to read the +Legend of Saint Droctoveus; but I could not--all the lines of the +page quivered before my eyes, and there was a sound in my ears like +the noise of a windmill in the country at night. Nevertheless, I +was able to see that the manuscript offered every evidence of +indubitable authenticity. The two drawings of the Purification of +the Virgin and the Coronationof Proserpine were meagre in design +and vulgar in violence of colouring. Considerably damaged in 1824, +as attested by the catalogue of Sir Thomas, they had obtained +during the interval a new aspect of freshness. But this miracle +did not surprise me at all. And, besides, what did I care about +the two miniatures? The legends and the poem of Alexander--those +alone formed the treasure I desired. My eyes devoured as much of +it as they had the power to absorb. + +I affected indifference while asking Signor Polizzi the price of the +manuscript; and, while awaiting his reply, I offered up a secret +prayer that the price might not exceed the amount of ready money +at my disposal--already much diminished by the cost of my expensive +voyage. Signor Polizzi, however, informed me that he was not at +liberty to dispose of the article, inasmuch as it did not belong +to him, and was to be sold at auction shortly, at the Hotel des +Ventes, with a number of other MSS. and several incunabula. + +This was a severe blow to me. It tried to preserve my calmness, +notwithstanding, and replied somewhat to this effect: + +"You surprise me, Monsieur! Your father, whom I talked with recently +at Girgenti, told me positively that the manuscript was yours. You +cannot now attempt to make me discredit your father's word." + +"I DID own the manuscript, indeed," answered Signor Rafael with +absolute frankness; "but I do not own it any longer. I sold that +manuscript--the remarkable interest of which you have not failed +to perceive--to an amateur whom I am forbidden to name, and who, +for reasons which I am not at liberty to mention, finds himself +obliged to sell his collection. I am honoured with the confidence +of my customer, and was commissioned by him to draw up the catalogue +and manage the sale, which takes place the 24th of December. Now, +if you will be kind enough to give me your address, I shall have +the pleasure of sending you the catalogue, which is already in +the press. you fill find the 'Legende Doree' described in it as +'No. 42.'" + +I gave my address, and left the shop. + +The polite gravity of the son impressed me quite as disagreeably as +the impudent buffoonery of the father. I hated, from the bottom of +my heart, the tricks of the vile hagglers! It was perfectly evident +that the two rascals had a secret understanding, and had only devised +this auction-sale, with the aid of a professional appraiser, to force +the bidding on the manuscript I wanted so much up to an outrageous +figure. I was completely at their mercy. There is one evil in all +passionate desires, even the noblest--namely, that they leave us +subject to the will of others, and in so far dependent. This +reflection made me suffer cruelly; but it did not conquer my longing +to won the work of Clerk Alexander. While I was thus meditating, I +heard a coachman swear. And I discovered it was I whom he was +swearing at only when I felt the pole of a carriage poke me in the +ribs. I started aside, barely in time to save myself from being run +over; and whom did I perceive through the windows of the coupe? +Madame Trepof, being taken by two beautiful horses, and a coachman +all wrapped up in furs like a Russian Boyard, into the very street +I had just left. She did not notice me; she was laughing to herself +with that artless grace of expression which still preserved for her, +at thirty years, all the charm of her early youth. + +"Well, well!" I said to myself, "she is laughing! I suppose she must +have just found another match-box." + +And I made my way back to the Ponts, feeling very miserable. + +Nature, eternally indifferent, neither hastened nor hurried the +twenty-fourth day of December. I went to the Hotel Bullion, and +took my place in Salle No. 4, immediately below the high desk at +which the auctioneer Boulouze and the expert Polizzi were to sit. +I saw the hall gradually fill with familiar faces. I shook hands +with several old booksellers of the quays; but that prudence which +any large interest inspires in even the most self-assured caused me +to keep silence in regard to the reason of my unaccustomed presence +in the halls of the Hotel Bullion. On the other hand, I questioned +those gentlemen at the auction sale; and I had teh satisfaction of +finding them all interested about matters in no wise related to my +affair. + +Little by little the hall became thronged with interested or merely +curious spectators; and, after half an hour's delay, the auctioneer +with his ivory hammer, the clerk with his bundle of memorandum-papers, +and the crier, carrying his collection-box fixed to the end of a +pole, all took their places on the platform in the most solemn +business manner. The attendants ranged themselves at the foot of the +desk. The presiding officer having declared the sale open, a partial +hush followed. + +A commonplace series of Preces dia, with miniatures, were first sold +off at mediocre prices. Needless to say, the illuminations of these +books were in perfect condition! + +The lowness of the bids gave courage to the gathering of second-hand +booksellers present, who began to mingle with us, and become more +familiar. The dealers in old brass and bric-a-brac pressed forward +in their tun, waiting for the doors of an adjoining room to be +opened; and the voice of the auctioneer was drowned by the jests of +the Auvergnats. + +A magnificent codex of the "Guerre des Juifs" revived attention. It +was long disputed for. "Five thousand francs! five thousand!" called +the crier, while the bric-a-brac dealers remained silent with +admiration. Then seven or eight antiphonaries brought us back again +to low prices. A fat old woman, in a loose gown, bareheaded--a +dealer in second-hand goods--encouraged by the size of the books and +the low prices bidden, had one of the antiphonaries knocked down to +her for thirty francs. + +At last the expert Polizzi announced No. 42: "The 'Golden Legend'; +French MS.; unpublished; two superb miniatures, with a starting bid +of three thousand francs." + +"Three thousand! three thousand bid!" yelled the crier. + +"Three thousand!" dryly repeated the auctioneer. + +There was a buzzing in my head, and, as through a cloud, I saw a host +of curious faces all turning towards the manuscript, which a boy was +carrying open through the audience. + +"Three thousand and fifty!" I said. + +I was frightened by the sound of my own voice, and further confused +by seeing, or thinking that I saw, all eyes turned on me. + +"Three thousand and fifty on the right!" called the crier, taking +up my bid. + +"Three thousand one hundred!" responded Signor Polizzi. + +Then began a heroic duel between the expert and myself. + +"Three thousand five hundred!" + +"Six hundred!" + +"Seven hundred!" + +"Four thousand!" + +"Four thousand five hundred." + +Then by a sudden bold stroke, Signor Polizzi raised the bid at once +to six thousand. + +Six thousand francs was all the money I could dispose of. It +represented the possible. I risked the impossible. + +"Six thousand one hundred!" + +Alas! even the impossible did not suffice. + +"Six thousand five hundred!" replied Signor Polizzi, with calm. + +I bowed my head and sat there stupefied, unable to answer either yes +or no to the crier, who called to me: + +"Six thousand five hundred, by me--not by you on the right there!--it +is my bid--no mistake! Six thousand five hundred!" + +"Perfectly understood!" declared the auctioneer. "Six thousand five +hundred. Perfectly clear; perfectly plain.... Any more bids? The +last bid is six thousand five hundred francs." + +A solemn silence prevailed. Suddenly I felt as if my head had burst +open. It was the hammer of the officiant, who, with a loud blow on +the platform, adjudged No. 42 irrevocably to Signor Polizzi. +Forthwith the pen of the clerk, coursing over the papier-timbre, +registered that great fact in a single line. + +I was absolutely prostrated, and I felt the utmost need of rest and +quiet. Nevertheless, I did not leave my seat. My powers of +reflection slowly returned. Hope is tenacious. I had one more hope. +It occurred to me that the new owner of the "Legende Doree" might be +some intelligent and liberal bibliophile who would allow me to examine +the MS., and perhaps even to publish the more important parts. And, +with this idea, as soon as the sale was over I approached the expert +as he was leaving the platform. + +"Monsieur," I asked him, "did you buy in No. 42 on your own account, +or on commission?" + +"On commission. I was instructed not to let it go at any price." + +"Can you tell me the name of the purchaser?" + +"Monsieur, I regret that I cannot serve you in that respect. I have +been strictly forbidden to mention the name." + +I went home in despair. + + + +December 30, 1859. + + +"Therese! don't you hear the bell? Somebody has been ringing at the +door for the last quarter of an hour?" + +Therese does not answer. She is chattering downstairs with the +concierge, for sure. So that is the way you observe your old master's +birthday? You desert me even on the eve of Saint-Sylvestre! Alas! +if I am to hear any kind wishes to-day, they must come up from the +ground; for all who love me have long been buried. I really don't +know what I am still living for. There is the bell again!... I get +up slowly from my seat at the fire, with my shoulders still bent +from stooping over it, and go to the door myself. Whom do I see at +the threshold? It is not a dripping love, and I am not an old +Anacreon; but it is a very pretty little boy of about ten years old. +He is alone; he raises his face to look at me. His cheeks are +blushing; but his little pert nose gives one an idea of mischievous +pleasantry. He has feathers in his cap, and a great lace-ruff on +his jacket. The pretty little fellow! He holds in both arms a +bundle as big as himself, and asks me if I am Monsieur Sylvestre +Bonnard. I tell him yes; he gives me the bundle, tells me his mamma +sent it to me, and then he runs downstairs. + +I go down a few steps; I lean over the balustrade, and see the little +cap whirling down the spiral of the stairway like a feather in the +wind. "Good-bye, my little boy!" I should have liked so much to +question him. But what, after all, could I have asked? It is not +polite to question children. Besides, the package itself will +probably give me more information than the messenger could. + +It is a very big bundle, but not very heavy. I take it into my +library, and there untie the ribbons and unfasten the paper wrappings; +and I see--what? a log! a first-class log! a real Christmas log, but +so light that I know it must be hollow. Then I find that it is +indeed composed of two separate pieces, opening on hinges, and +fastened with hooks. I slip the hooks back, and find myself inundated +with violets! Violets! they pour over my table, over my knees, over +the carpet. They tumble into my vest, into my sleeves. I am all +perfumed with them. + +"Therese! Therese! fill me some vases with water, and bring them +here, quick! Here are violets sent to us I know not from what country +nor by what hand; but it must be from a perfumed country, and by a +very gracious hand.... Do you hear me, old crow?" + +I have put all the violets on my table--now completely covered by the +odorous mass. But there is still something in the log...a book--a +manuscript. It is...I cannot believe it, and yet I cannot doubt +it.... It is the "Legende Doree"!--It is the manuscript of the Clerk +Alexander! Here is the "Purification of the Virgin" and the +"Coronation of Proserpine";--here is the legend of Saint Droctoveus. +I contemplate this violet-perfumed relic. I turn the leaves of it-- +between which the dark rich blossoms have slipped in here and there; +and, right opposite the legend of Saint-Cecilia, I find a card +bearing this name: + +"Princess Trepof." + +Princess Trepof!--you who laughed and wept by turns so sweetly under +the fair sky of Agrigentum!--you, whom a cross old man believed to be +only a foolish little woman!--to-day I am convinced of your rare and +beautiful folly; and the old fellow whom you now overwhelm with +happiness will go to kiss your hand, and give you back, in another +form, this precious manuscript, of which both he and science owe you +an exact and sumptuous publication! + +Therese entered my study just at that moment; she seemed to be very +much excited. + +"Monsieur!" she cried, "guess whom I saw just now in a carriage, with +a coat-of-arms painted on it, that was stopping before the door?" + +"Parbleu!--Madame Trepof," I exclaimed. + +"I don't know anything about any Madame Trepof," answered my +housekeeper. "The woman I saw just now was dressed like a duchess, +and had a little boy with her, with lace-frills all along the seams +of his clothes. And it was that same little Madame Coccoz you once +sent a log to, when she was lying-in here about eleven years ago. +I recognized her at once." + +"What!" I exclaimed, "you mean to say it was Madame Coccoz, the widow +of the almanac-peddler?" + +"Herself, Monsieur! The carriage-door was open for a minute to let +her little boy, who had just come from I don't know where, get in. +She hasn't changed scarcely at all. Well, why should those women +change?--they never worry themselves about anything. Only the Coccoz +woman looks a little fatter than she used to be. And the idea of a +woman that was taken in here out of pure charity coming to show off +her velvets and diamonds in a carriage with a crest painted on it! +Isn't it shameful!" + +"Therese!" I cried, in a terrible voice, "if you ever speak to me +again about that lady except in terms of the deepest respect, you +and I will fall out! ...Bring me the Sevres vases to put those +violets in, which now give the City of Books a charm it never had +before." + +While Therese went off with a sigh to get the Sevres vases, I +continued to contemplate those beautiful scattered violets, whose +odour spread all about me like the perfume of some sweet presence, +some charming soul; and I asked myself how it had been possible for +me never to recognise Madame Coccoz in the person of the Princess +Trepof. But that vision of the young widow, showing me her little +child on the stairs, had been a very rapid one. I had much more +reason to reproach myself for having passed by a gracious and lovely +soul without knowing it. + +"Bonnard," I said to myself, "thou knowest how to decipher old texts; +but thou dost not know how to read in the Book of Life. That giddy +little Madame Trepof, whom thou once believed to possess no more +soul than a bird, has expended, in pure gratitude, more zeal and finer +tact than thou didst ever show for anybody's sake. Right royally +hath she repaid thee for the log-fire of her churching-day! + +"Therese! Awhile ago you were a magpie; now you are becoming a +tortoise! Come and give some water to these Parmese violets." + + + + +Part II -- The Daughter of Clementine + + + + + +Chapter I -- The Fairy + + +When I left the train at the Melun station, night had already spread +its peace over the silent country. The soil, heated through all the +long day by a strong sun--by a "gros soleil," as the harvesters of +the Val de Vire say--still exhaled a warm heavy smell. Lush dense +odours of grass passed over the level of the fields. I brushed +away the dust of the railway carriage, and joyfully inhaled the pure +air. My travelling-bag--filled by my housekeeper wit linen and +various small toilet articles, munditiis, seemed so light in my +hand that I swung it about just as a schoolboy swings his strapped +package of rudimentary books when the class is let out. + +Would to Heaven that I were again a little urchin at school! But it +is fully fifty years since my good dead mother made me some tartines +of bread and preserves, and placed them in a basket of which she +slipped the handle over my arm, and then led me, thus prepared, to +the school kept by Monsieur Douloir, at a corner of the Passage du +Commerce well known to the sparrows, between a court and a garden. +The enormous Monsieur Douloir smiled upon us genially, and patted +my cheek to show, no doubt, the affectionate interest which my first +appearance had inspired. But when my mother had passed out of the +court, startling the sparrows as she went, Monsieur Douloir ceased +to smile--he showed no more affectionate interest; he appeared, on +the contrary, to consider me as a very troublesome little fellow. +I discovered, later on, that he entertained the same feelings +towards all his pupils. He distributed whacks of his ferule with +an agility no one could have expected on the part of so corpulent +a person. But his first aspect of tender interest invariably +reappeared when he spoke to any of our mothers in our presence; and +always at such times, while warmly praising our remarkable aptitudes, +he would cast down upon us a look of intense affection. Still, +those were happy days which I passed on the benches of the Monsieur +Couloir with my little playfellows, who, like myself, cried and +laughed by turns with all their might, from morning till evening. + +After a whole half-century these souvenirs float up again, fresh and +bright as ever, to the surface of memory, under this starry sky, +whose face has in no wise changed since then, and whose serene and +immutable lights will doubtless see many other schoolboys such as +I was slowly turn into grey-headed servants, afflicted with catarrh. + +Stars, who have shown down upon each wise or foolish head among all +my forgotten ancestors, it is under your soft light that I now feel +stir within me a certain poignant regret! I would that I could have +a son who might be able to see you when I shall see you no more. +How I should love him! Ah! such a son would--what am I saying?-- +why, he would be no just twenty years old if you had only been +willing, Clementine--you whose cheeks used to look so ruddy under +your pink hood! But you are married to that young bank clerk, +Noel Alexandre, who made so many millions afterwards! I never met +you again after your marriage, Clementine, but I can see you now, +with your bright curls and your pink hood. + +A looking-glass! a looking-glass! a looking-glass! Really, it would +be curious to see what I look like now, with my white hair, sighing +Clementine's name to the stars! Still, it is not right to end with +sterile irony the thought begun in the spirit of faith and love. No, +Clementine, if your name came to my lips by chance this beautiful +night, be it for ever blessed, your dear name! and may you ever, as +a happy mother, a happy grandmother, enjoy to the very end of life +with your rich husband the utmost degree of that happiness which +you had the right to believe you could not win with the poor young +scholar who loved you! If--though I cannot even now imagine it--if +your beautiful hair has become white, Clementine, bear worthily the +bundle of keys confided to you by Noel Alexandre, and impart to your +grandchildren the knowledge of all domestic virtues! + +Ah! beautiful Night! She rules, with such noble repose, over men and +animals alike, kindly loosed by her from the yoke of daily toil; +and even I feel her beneficent influence, although my habits of +sixty years have so changed me that I can feel most things only +through the signs which represent them. My world is wholly formed +of words--so much of a philologist I have become! Each one dreams +the dream of life in his own way. I have dreamed it in my library; +and when the hour shall come in which I must leave this world, may +it please God to take me from my ladder--from before my shelves of +books!... + +"Well, well! it is really himself, pardieu! How are you, Monsieur +Sylvestre Bonnard? And where have you been travelling to all this +time, over the country, while I was waiting for you at the station +with my cabriolet? You missed me when the train came in, and I was +driving back, quite disappointed, to Lusance. Give me your valise, +and get up here beside me in the carriage. Why, do you know it is +fully seven kilometres from here to the chateau?" + +Who addresses me thus, at the very top of his voice from the height +of his cabriolet? Monsieur Paul de Gabry, nephew and heir of +Monsieur Honore de Gabry, peer of France in 1842, who recently died +at Monaco. And it was precisely to Monsieur Paul de Gabry's house +that I was going with that valise of mine, so carefully strapped by +my housekeeper. This excellent young man has just inherited, +conjointly with his two brothers-in-law, the property of his uncle, +who, belonging to a very ancient family of distinguished lawyers, +had accumulated in his chateau at Lusance a library rich in MSS., +some dating back to the fourteenth century. It was for the purpose +of making an inventory and catalogue of these MSS. that I had come +to Lusance at the urgent request of Monsieur Paul de Gabry, whose +father, a perfect gentleman and distinguished bibliophile, had +maintained the most pleasant relations with me during his lifetime. +To tell the truth, Monsieur Paul has not inherited the fine tastes +of his father. Monsieur Paul likes sporting; he is a great authority +on horses and dogs; and I much fear that of all the sciences capable +of satisfying or of duping the inexhaustible curiosity of mankind, +those of the stable and the dog-kennel are the only ones thoroughly +mastered by him. + +I cannot say I was surprised to meet him, since we had made a +rendezvous; but I acknowledge that I had become so preoccupied with +my own thoughts that I had forgotten all about the Chateau de +Lusance and its inhabitants, and that the voice of the gentleman +calling out to me as I started to follow the country road winding +away before me--"un bon ruban de queue," as they say--had given me +quite a start. + +I fear my face must have betrayed my incongruous distraction by a +certain stupid expression which it is apt to assume in most of my +social transactions. My valise was pulled up into the carriage, +and I followed my valise. My host pleased me by his straightforward +simplicity. + +"I don't know anything myself about your old parchments," he said; +"but I think you will find some folks to talk to at the house. +Besides the cure, who writes books himself, and the doctor, who is a +very good fellow--although a radical--you will meet somebody able to +keep your company. I mean my wife. She is not a very learned woman, +but there are few things which she can't divine pretty well. Then +I count upon being able to keep you with us long enough to make you +acquainted with Mademoiselle Jeanne, who has the fingers of a magician +and the soul of an angel." + +"And is this delightfully gifted young lady one of your family?" I +asked. + +"Not at all," replied Monsieur Paul. + +"Then she is just a friend of yours?" I persisted, rather stupidly. + +"She has lost both her father and mother," answered Monsieur de Gabry, +keeping his eyes fixed upon the ears of his horse, whose hoofs rang +loudly over the road blue-tinted by the moonshine. "Her father +managed to get us into some very serious trouble; and we did not get +off with a fright either!" + +Then he shook his head, and changed the subject. He gave me due +warning of the ruinous condition in which I should find the chateau +and the park; they had been absolutely deserted for thirty-two years. + +I learned from him that Monsieur Honore de Gabry, his uncle, had been +on very bad terms with some poachers, whom he used to shoot at like +rabbits. One of them, a vindictive peasant, who had received a whole +charge of shot in his face, lay in wait for the Seigneur one evening +behind the trees of the mall, and very nearly succeeded in killing +him, for the ball took off the tip of his ear. + +"My uncle," Monsieur Paul continued, "tried to discover who had fired +the shot; but he could not see any one, and he walked back slowly +to the house. The day after he called his steward and ordered him +to close up the manor and the park, and allow no living soul to enter. +He expressly forbade that anything should be touched, or looked after, +or any repairs made on the estate during his absence. He added, +between his teeth, that he would return at Easter, or Trinity Sunday, +as they say in the song; and, just as the song has it, Trinity +Sunday passed without a sign of him. He died last year at Monaco; +my brother-in-law and myself were the first to enter the chateau +after it had been abandoned for thirty-two years. We found a +chestnut-tree growing in the middle of the parlour. As for the park, +it was useless trying to visit it, because there were no longer any +paths or alleys." + +My companion ceased to speak; and only the regular hoof-beat of the +trotting horse, and the chirping of insects in the grass, broke the +silence. On either hand, the sheaves standing in the fields took, +in the vague moonlight, the appearance of tall white women kneeling +down; and I abandoned myself awhile to those wonderful childish +fancies which the charm of night always suggests. After driving +under the heavy shadows of the mall, we turned to the right and +rolled up a lordly avenue at the end of which the chateau suddenly +rose into view--a black mass, with turrets en poivriere. We +followed a sort of causeway, which gave access to the court-of-honor, +and which, passing over a moat full of running water, doubtless +replaced a long-vanished drawbridge. The loss of that draw-bridge +must have been, I think, the first of various humiliations to which +the warlike manor had been subjected ere being reduced to that +pacific aspect with which it received me. The stars reflected +themselves with marvelous clearness in the dark water. Monsieur +Paul, like a courteous host, escorted me to my chamber at the very +top of the building, at the end of a long corridor; and then, +excusing himself for not presenting me at once to his wife by reason +of the lateness of the hour, bade me good-night. + +My apartment, painted in white and hung with chintz, seemed to keep +some traces of the elegant gallantry of the eighteenth century. +A heap of still-glowing ashes--which testified to the pains taken +to dispel humidity--filled the fireplace, whose marble mantlepiece +supported a bust of Marie Antoinette in bisuit. Attached to the +frame of the tarnished and discoloured mirror, two brass hooks, that +had once doubtless served the ladies of old-fashioned days to hang +their chatelaines on, seemed to offer a very opportune means of +suspending my watch, which I took care to wind up beforehand; for, +contrary to the opinion of the Thelemites, I hold that man is only +master of time, which is Life itself, when he has divided it into +hours, minutes and seconds--that is to say, into parts proportioned +to the brevity of human existence. + +And I thought to myself that life really seems short to us only +because we measure it irrationally by our own mad hopes. We have all +of us, like the old man in the fable, a new wing to add to our +building. I want, for example, before I die, to finish my "History +of the Abbots of Saint-Germain-de-Pres." The time God allots to +each one of us is like a precious tissue which we embroider as we +best know how. I had begun my woof with all sorts of philological +illustrations.... So my thoughts wandered on; and at last, as I +bound my foulard about my head, the notion of Time led me back to +the past; and for the second time within the same round of the dial +I thought of you, Clementine--to bless you again in your prosperity, +if you have any, before blowing out my candle and falling asleep +amid the chanting of the frogs. + + + +Chapter II + + +During breakfast I had many opportunities to appreciate the good +taste, tact, and intelligence of Madame de Gabry, who told me that +the chateau had its ghosts, and was especially haunted by the "Lady- +with-three-wrinkles-in-her-back," a prisoner during her lifetime, +and thereafter a Soul-in-pain. I could never describe how much wit +and animation she gave to this old nurse's tale. We took out, coffee +on the terrace, whose balusters, clasped and forcibly torn away from +their stone coping by a vigorous growth of ivy, remained suspended +in the grasp of the amorous plant like bewildered Athenian women in +the arms of ravishing Centaurs. + +The chateau, shaped something like a four-wheeled wagon, with a turret +at each of the four angles, had lost all original character by +reason of repeated remodellings. It was merely a fine spacious +building, nothing more. It did not appear to me to have suffered +much damage during its abandonment of thirty-two years. But when +Madame de Gabry conducted me into the great salon of the ground- +floor, I saw that the planking was bulged in and out, the plinths +rotten, the wainscotings split apart, the paintings of the piers +turned black and hanging more than half out of their settings. A +chestnut-tree, after forcing up the planks of the floor, had grown +tall under the ceiling, and was reaching out its large-leaved +branches towards the glassless windows. + +This spectacle was not devoid of charm; but I could not look at it +without anxiety as I remembered that the rich library of Monsieur +Honore de Gabry, in an adjoining apartment, must have been exposed +for the same length of time to the same forces of decay. Yet, as I +looked at the young chestnut-tree in the salon, I could not but +admire the magnificent vigour of Nature, and that resistless power +which forces every germ to develop into life. On the other hand I +felt saddened to think that, whatever effort we scholars may make to +preserve dead things from passing away, we are labouring painfully +in vain. Whatever has lived becomes the necessary food of new +existences. And the Arab who builds himself a hut out of the marble +fragments of a Palmyra temple is really more of a philosopher than +all the guardians of museums at London, Munich, or Paris. + + +August 11. + +All day long I have been classifying MSS.... The sun came in through +the loft uncurtained windows; and, during my reading, often very +interesting, I could hear the languid bumblebees bump heavily against +the windows, and the flies intoxicated with light and heat, making +their wings hum in circles around my head. So loud became their +humming about three o'clock that I looked up from the document I was +reading--a document containing very precious materials for the history +of Melun in the thirteenth century--to watch the concentric movements +of those tiny creatures. "Bestions," Lafontaine calls them: he +found this form of the word in the old popular speech, whence also +the term, tapisserie-a-bestions, applied to figured tapestry. I +was compelled to confess that the effect of heat upon the wings of a +fly is totally different from that it exerts upon the brain of a +paleographical archivist; for I found it very difficult to think, +and a rather pleasant languor weighing upon me, from which I could +rouse myself only by a very determined effort. The dinner-bell then +startled me in the midst of my labours; and I had barely time to put +on my new dress-coat, so as to make a respectable appearance before +Madame de Gabry. + +The repast, generously served, seemed to prolong itself for my +benefit. I am more than a fair judge of wine; and my hostess, who +discovered my knowledge in this regard, was friendly enough to open +a certain bottle of Chateau-Margaux in my honour. With deep respect +I drank of this famous and knightly old wine, which comes from the +slopes of Bordeaux, and of which the flavour and exhilarating power +are beyond praise. The ardour of it spread gently through my veins, +and filled me with an almost juvenile animation. Seated beside +Madame de Gabry on the terrace, in the gloaming which gave a charming +melancholy to the park, and lent to every object an air of mystery, +I took pleasure in communicating my impression of the scene to my +hostess. I discoursed with a vivacity quite remarkable on the part +of a man so devoid of imagination as I am. I described to her +spontaneously, without quoting from an old texts, the caressing +melancholy of the evening, and the beauty of that natal earth which +feeds us, not only with bread and wine, but also with ideas, +sentiments, and beliefs, and which will at last take us all back to +her maternal breast again, like so many tired little children at +the close of a long day. + +"Monsieur," said the kind lady, "you see these old towers, those +trees, that sky; is it not quite natural that the personage of the +popular tales and folk-songs should have been evoked by such scenes? +Why, over there is the very path which Little Red Riding-hood +followed when she went to the woods to pick nuts. Across this +changeful and always vapoury sky the fairy chariots used to roll; +and the north tower might have sheltered under its pointed roof that +same old spinning woman whose distaff picked the Sleeping Beauty +in the Wood." + +I continued to muse upon her pretty fancies, while Monsieur Paul +related to me, as he puffed a very strong cigar, the history of some +suit he had brought against the commune about a water-right. Madame +de Gabry, feeling the chill night air, began to shiver under the +shawl her husband had wrapped about her, and left us to go to her +room. I then decided, instead of going to my own, to return to the +library and continue my examination of the manuscripts. In spite +of the protests of Monsieur Paul, I entered what I may call, in +old-fashioned phrase, "the book-room," and started to work by the +light of a lamp. + +After having read fifteen pages, evidently written by some ignorant +and careless scribe, for I could scarcely discern their meaning, +I plunged my hand into the pocket of my coat to get my snuff-box; +but this movement, usually so natural and almost instinctive, this +time cost me some effort and even fatigue. Nevertheless, I got out +the silver box, and took from it a pinch of the odorous powder, which, +somehow or other, I managed to spill all over my shirt-bosom under +my baffled nose. I am sure my nose must have expressed its +disappointment, for it is a very expressive nose. More than once it +has betrayed my secret thoughts, and especially upon a certain +occasion at the public library of Coutances, where I discovered, +right in front of my colleague Brioux, the "Cartulary of Notre- +Dame-des-Anges." + +What a delight! My little eyes remained as dull and expressionless +as ever behind my spectacles. But at the mere sight of my thick pug- +nose, which quivered with joy and pride, Brioux knew that I had +found something. He noted the volume I was looking at, observed the +place where I put it back, pounced upon it as soon as I turned my +heel, copied it secretly, and published in haste, for the sake of +playing me a trick. But his edition swarms with errors, and I had +the satisfaction of afterwards criticising some of the gross blunders +he made. + +But to come back to the point at which I left off: I began to suspect +that I was getting very sleepy indeed. I was looking at a chart of +which the interest may be divined from the fact that it contained +mention of a hutch sold to Jehan d'Estonville, priest, in 1312. But +although, even then, I could recognise the importance of the document, +I did not give it that attention it so strongly invited. My eyes +would keep turning, against my will, towards a certain corner of the +table where there was nothing whatever interesting to a learned mind. +There was only a big German book there, bound in pigskin, with brass +studs on the sides, and very thick cording upon the back. It was a +find copy of a compilation which has little to recommend it except +the wood engravings it contains, and which is known as the +"Cosmography of Munster." This volume, with its covers slightly open, +was placed upon edge with the back upwards. + +I could not say for how long I had been staring causelessly at the +sixteenth-century folio, when my eyes were captivated by a sight so +extraordinary that even a person as devoid of imagination as I could +not but have been greatly astonished by it. + +I perceived, all of a sudden, without having noticed her coming into +the room, a little creature seated on the back of the book, with one +knee bent and one leg hanging down--somewhat in the attitude of the +amazons of Hyde Park or the Bois de Boulogne on horseback. She was +so small that her swinging foot did not reach the table, over which +the trail of her dress extended in a serpentine line. But her face +and figure were those of an adult. The fulness of her corsage and +the roundness of her waist could leave no doubt of that, even for +an old savant like myself. I will venture to add that she was +very handsome, with a proud mien; for my iconographic studies have +long accustomed me to recognise at once the perfection of a type and +the character of a physiognomy. The countenance of this lady who +had seated herself inopportunely on the back of "Cosmography of +Munster" expressed a mingling of haughtiness and mischievousness. +She had the air of a queen, but a capricious queen; and I judged, +from the mere expression of her eyes, that she was accustomed to +wield great authority somewhere, in a very whimsical manner. Her +mouth was imperious and mocking, and those blue eyes of hers seemed +to laugh in a disquieting way under her finely arched black eyebrows. +I have always heard that black eyebrows are very becoming to blondes; +but this lady was very blonde. On the whole, the impression she gave +me was one of greatness. + +It may seem odd to say that a person who was no taller than a wine- +bottle, and who might have been hidden in my coat pocket--but that +it would have been very disrespectful to put her in it--gave me +precisely an idea of greatness. But in the fine proportions of the +lady seated upon the "Cosmography of Munster" there was such a proud +elegance, such a harmonious majesty, and she maintained an attitude +at once so easy and so noble, that she really seemed to me a very +great person. Although my ink-bottle, which she examined with an +expression of such mockery as appeared to indicate that she knew in +advance every word that would come out of it at the end of my pen, +was for her a deep basin in which she would have blackened her gold- +clocked pink stockings up to the garter, I can assure you that she +was great, and imposing even in her sprightliness. + +Her costume, worthy of her face, was extremely magnificent; it +consisted of a robe of gold-and-silver brocade, and a mantle of +nacarat velvet, lined with vair. Her head-dress was a sort of +hennin, with two high points; and pearls of splendid lustre made +it bright and luminous as a crescent moon. Her little white hand +held a wand. That wand drew my attention very strongly, because my +archaeological studies had taught me to recognise with certainty +every sign by which the notable personages of legend and of history +are distinguished. This knowledge came to my aid during various +very queer conjectures with which I was labouring. I examined the +wand, and saw that it appeared to have been cut from a branch of +hazel. + +"Then its a fairy's wand," I said to myself; "consequently the lady +who carries it is a fairy." + +Happy at thus discovering what sort of a person was before me, I tried +to collect my mind sufficiently to make her a graceful compliment. +It would have given me much satisfaction, I confess, if I could have +talked to her about the part taken by her people, not less in the +life of the Saxon and Germanic races, than in that of the Latin +Occident. Such a dissertation, it appeared to me, would have been +an ingenious method of thanking the lady for having thus appeared to +an old scholar, contrary to the invariable custom of her kindred, +who never show themselves but to innocent children or ignorant +village-folk. + +Because one happens to be a fairy, one is none the less a woman, I +said to myself; and since Madame Recamier, according to what I heard +J. J. Ampere say, used to blush with pleasure when the little chimney- +sweeps opened their eyes as wide as they could to look at her, surely +the supernatural lady seated upon the "Cosmography of Munster" might +feel flattered to hear an erudite man discourse learnedly about her, +as about a medal, a seal, a fibula, or a token. But such an +undertaking, which would have cost my timidity a great deal, became +totally out of the question when I observed the Lady of the +Cosmography suddenly take from an alms purse hanging at her girdle +the very smallest of nuts I had ever seen, crack the shells between +her teeth, and throw them at my nose, while she nibbled the kernels +with the gravity of a sucking child. + +At this conjuncture, I did what the dignity of science demanded of +me--I remained silent. But the nut-shells caused such a painful +tickling that I put up my hand to my nose, and found, to my great +surprise, that my spectacles were straddling the very end of it-- +so that I was actually looking at the lady, not through my spectacles, +but over them. This was incomprehensible, because my eyes, worn out +over old texts, cannot ordinarily distinguish anything without +glasses--could not tell a melon from a decanter, though the two were +placed close up to my nose. + +That nose of mine, remarkable for its size, its shape, and its +coloration, legitimately attracted the attention of the fairy; for +she seized my goose-quill pen, which was sticking up from the ink- +bottle like a plume, and she began to pass the feather-end of that +pen over my nose. I had had more than once, in company, occasion +to suffer cheerfully from the innocent mischief of young ladies, +who made me join their games, and would offer me their cheeks to +kiss through the back of a chair, or invite me to blow out a candle +which they would lift suddenly above the range of my breath. But +until that moment no person of the fair sex had ever subjected me to +such a whimsical piece of familiarity as that of tickling my nose +with my own feather pen. Happily I remembered the maxim of my late +grandfather, who was accustomed to say that everything was permissible +on the part of ladies, and that whatever they do to us is to be +regarded as a grace and a favour. Therefore, as a grace and a favour +I received the nutshells and the titillations with my own pen, and +I tried to smile. Much more!--I even found speech. + +"Madame," I said, with dignified politeness, "you accord the honour +of a visit not to a silly child, not to a boor, but to a bibliophile +who is very happy to make your acquaintance, and who knows that long +ago you used to make elf-knots in the manes of mares at the crib, +drink the milk from the skimming-pails, slip graines-a-gratter down +the backs of our great-grandmothers, make the hearth sputter in the +faces of the old folks, and, in short, fill the house with disorder +and gaiety. You can also boast of giving the nicest frights in the +world to lovers who stayed out in the woods too late of evenings. +But I thought you had vanished out of existence at least three +centuries ago. Can it really be, Madame, that you are still to be +seen in this age of railways and telegraphs? My concierge, who used +to be a nurse in her young days, does not know your story; and my +little boy-neighbour, whose nose is still wiped for him by his +bonne, declares that you do not exist." + +"What do you yourself think about it?" she cried, in a silvery voice, +straightening up her royal little figure in a very haughty fashion, +and whipping the back of the "Cosmography of Munster" as though it +were a hippogriff. + +"I don't really know," I answered rubbing my eyes. + +This reply, indicating a deeply scientific scepticism, had the most +deplorable effect upon my questioner. + +"Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard," she said to me, "you are nothing but an +old pedant. I always suspected as much. The smallest little +ragamuffin who goes along the road with his shirt-tail sticking +out through a hole in his pantaloons knows more about me than all +the old spectacled folks in your Institutes and your Academies. To +know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything. Nothing exists +except that which is imagined. I am imaginary. That is what it is +to exist, I should think! I am dreamed of, and I appear. Everything +is only dream; and as nobody ever dreams about you, Sylvestre Bonnard, +it is YOU who do not exist. I charm the world; I am everywhere--on +a moon-beam, in the trembling of a hidden spring, in the moving of +leaves that murmur, in the white vapours that rise each morning from +the hollow meadow, in the thickets of pink brier--everywhere!... +I am seen; I am loved. There are sighs uttered, weird thrills of +pleasure felt by those who follow the light print of my feet, as I +make the dead leaves whisper. I make the little children smile; I +give wit to the dullest-minded nurses. Leaning above the cradles, +I play, I comfort, I lull to sleep--and you doubt whether I exist! +Sylvestre Bonnard, your warm coat covers the hide of an ass!" + +She ceased speaking; her delicate nostrils swelled with indignation; +and while I admired, despite my vexation, the heroic anger of this +little person, hse pushed my pen about in the ink-bottle, backward +and forward, like an oar, and then suddenly threw it at my nose, +point first. + +I rubbed by face, and felt it all covered with ink. She had +disappeared. My lamp was extinguished. A ray of moonlight streamed +down through a window and descended upon the "Cosmography of Munster." +A strong cool wind, which had arisen very suddenly without my +knowledge, was blowing my papers, pens, and wafers about. My table +was all stained with ink. I had left my window open during the storm. +What an imprudence! + + + + +Chapter III + + +I wrote to my housekeeper, as I promised, that I was safe and sound. +But I took good care not to tell her that I had caught a cold from +going to sleep in the library at night with the window open; for the +good woman would have been as unsparing in her remonstrances to me +as parliaments to kings. "At your age, Monsieur," she would have +been sure to say, "one ought to have more sense." She is simple +enough to believe that sense grows with age. I seem to her an +exception to this rule. + +Not having any similar motive for concealing my experiences from +Madame de Gabry, I told her all about my vision, which she seemed +to enjoy very much. + +"Why, that was a charming dream of yours," she said; "and one must +have real genius to dream such a dream." + +"Then I am a real genius when I am asleep," I responded. + +"When you dream," she replied; "and you are always dreaming." + +I know that Madame de Gabry, in making this remark, only wished to +please me; but that intention alone deserves my utmost gratitude; +and it is therefore in a spirit of thankfulness and kindliest +remembrance that I write down her words, which I will read over and +over again until my dying day, and which will never be read by any +one save myself. + +I passed the next few days in completing the inventory of the +manuscripts in the Lusance library. Certain confidential observations +dropped by Monsieur Paul de Gabry, however, caused me some painful +surprise, and made me decide to pursue the work after a different +manner from that in which I had begun it. From those few words I +learned that the fortune of Monsieur Honore de Gabry, which had been +badly managed for many years, and subsequently swept away to a large +extent through the failure of a banker whose name I do not know, +had been transmitted to the heirs of the old French nobleman only +under the form of mortgaged real estate and irrecoverable assets. + +Monsieur Paul, by agreement with his joint heirs, had decided to sell +the library, and I was intrusted with the task of making arrangements +to have the sale effected upon advantageous terms. But totally +ignorant as I was of all the business methods and trade-customs, I +thought it best to get the advice of a publisher who was one of my +private friends. I wrote him at once to come and join me at Lusance; +and while waiting for his arrival I took my hat and cane and made +visits to the different churches of the diocese, in several of which +I knew there were certain mortuary inscriptions to be found which had +never been correctly copied. + +So I left my hosts and departed my pilgrimage. Exploring the churches +and the cemeteries every day, visiting the parish priests and the +village notaries, supping at the public inns with peddlers and cattle- +dealers, sleeping at night between sheets scented with lavender, I +passed one whole week in the quiet but profound enjoyment of observing +the living engaged in their various daily occupations even while I +was thinking of the dead. As for the purpose of my researches, I +made only a few mediocre discoveries, which caused me only a mediocre +joy, and one therefore salubrious and not at all fatiguing. I copied +a few interesting epitaphs; and I added to this little collection a +few recipes for cooking country dishes, which a certain good priest +kindly gave me. + +With these riches, I returned to Lusance; and I crossed the court- +of-honour with such secret satisfaction as a bourgeois fells on +entering his own home. This was the effect of the kindness of my +hosts; and the impression I received on crossing their threshold +proves, better than any reasoning could do, the excellence of their +hospitality. + +I entered the great parlour without meeting anybody; and the young +chestnut-tree there spreading out its broad leaves seemed to me +like an old friend. But the next thing which I saw--on the +pier-table--caused me such a shock of surprise that I readjusted my +glasses upon my nose with both hands at once, and then felt myself +over so as to get at least some superficial proof of my own existence. +In less than one second there thronged from my mind twenty different +conjectures--the most rational of which was that I had suddenly +become crazy. It seemed to me absolutely impossible that what I was +looking at could exist; yet it was equally impossible for me not to +see it as a thing actually existing. What caused my surprise was +resting on the pier-table, above which rose a great dull speckled +mirror. + +I saw myself in that mirror; and I can say that I saw for once in my +life the perfect image of stupefaction. But I made proper allowance +for myself; I approved myself for being so stupefied by a really +stupefying thing. + +The object I was thus examining with a degree of astonishment that +all my reasoning power failed to lessen, obtruded itself on my +attention though quite motionless. The persistence and fixity of +the phenomenon excluded any idea of hallucination. I am totally +exempt from all nervous disorders capable of influencing the sense +of sight. The cause of such visual disturbance is, I think, +generally due to stomach trouble; and, thank God! I have an excellent +stomach. Moreover, visual illusions are accompanied with special +abnormal conditions which impress the victims of hallucination +themselves, and inspire them with a sort of terror. Now, I felt +nothing of this kind; the object which I saw, although seemingly +impossible in itself, appeared to me under all the natural conditions +of reality. I observed that it had three dimensions, and colours, +and that it cast a shadow. Ah! how I stared at it! The water came +into my eyes so that I had to wipe the glasses of my spectacles. + +Finally I found myself obliged to yield to the evidence, and to +affirm that I had really before my eyes the Fairy, the very same +Fairy I had been dreaming of in the library a few evenings before. +It was she, it was her very self, I assure you! She had the same +air of child-queen, the same proud supple poise; she held the same +hazel wand in her hand; she still wore her double-peaked head-dress, +and the train of her long brocade robe undulated about her little +feet. Same face, same figure. It was she indeed; and to prevent +any possible doubt of it, she was seated on the back of a huge old- +fashioned book strongly resembling the "Cosmography of Munster." +Her immobility but half reassured me; I was really afraid that she +was going to take some more nuts out of her alms-purse and throw the +shells at my face. + +I was standing there, waving my hands and gaping, when the musical +and laughing voice of Madame de Gabry suddenly rang in my ears. + +"So you are examining your fairy, Monsieur Bonnard!" said my hostess. +"Well, do you think the resemblance good?" + +It was very quickly said; but even while hearing it I had time to +perceive that my fairy was a statuette in coloured wax, modeled with +much taste and spirit by some novice hand. But the phenomenon, even +thus reduced by a rational explanation, did not cease to excite my +surprise. How, and by whom, had the Lady of the Cosmography been +enabled to assume plastic existence? That was what remained for me +to learn. + +Turning towards Madame de Gabry, I perceived that she was not alone. +A young girl dressed in black was standing beside her. She had +large intelligent eyes, of a grey as sweet as that of the sky of the +Isle of France, and at once artless and characteristic in their +expression. At the extremities of her rather thin arms were +fidgeting uneasily two slender hands, supple but slightly red, as it +becomes the hands of young girls to be. Sheathed in her closely +fitting merino robe, she had the slim grace of a young tree; and her +large mouth bespoke frankness. I could not describe how much the +child pleased me at first sight! She was not beautiful; but the +three dimples of her cheeks and chin seemed to laugh, and her whole +person, which revealed the awkwardness of innocence, had something +in it indescribably good and sincere. + +My gaze alternated from the statuette to the young girl; and I saw +her blush--so frankly and fully!--the crimson passing over her face +as by waves. + +"Well," said my hostess, who had become sufficiently accustomed to +my distracted moods to put the same question to me twice, "is that +the very same lady who came in to see you through the window that +you left open? She was very saucy, but then you were quite +imprudent! Anyhow, do you recognise her?" + +"It is her very self," I replied; "I see her now on that pier-table +precisely as I saw her on the table in the library." + +"Then, if that be so," replied Madame de Gabry, "you have to blame +for it, in the first place, yourself, as a man who, although devoid +of all imagination, to use your own words, knew how to depict your +dream in such vivid colours; in the second place, me, who was able +to remember and repeat faithfully all your dream; and lastly, +Mademoiselle Jeanne, whom I now introduce to you, for she herself +modeled that wax figure precisely according to my instructions." + +Madame de Gabry had taken the young girl's hand as she spoke; but the +latter had suddenly broken away from her, and was already running +through the park with the speed of a bird. + +"Little crazy creature!" Madame de Gabry cried after her. "How can +one be so shy? Come back here to be scolded and kissed!" + +But it was all of no avail; the frightened child disappeared among +the shrubbery. Madame de Gabry seated herself in the only chair +remaining in the dilapidated parlour. + +"I should be much surprised," she said, "If my husband had not +already spoken to you of Jeanne. She is a sweet child, and we both +lover her very much. Tell me the plain truth; what do you think +of her statuette?" + +I replied that the work was full of good taste and spirit, but that +it showed some want of study and practice on the author's part; +otherwise I had been extremely touched to think that those young +fingers should have thus embroidered an old man's rough sketch of +fancy, and given form so brilliantly to the dreams of a dotard like +myself. + +"The reason I ask your opinion," replied Madame de Gabry, seriously, +"is that Jeanne is a poor orphan. Do you think she could earn her +living by modelling statuettes like this one?" + +"As for that, no!" I replied; "and I think there is no reason to +regret the fact. You say the girl is affectionate and sensitive; +I can well believe you; I could believe it from her face alone. There +are excitements in artist-life which impel generous hearts to act +out of all rule and measure. This young creature is made to love; +keep her for the domestic hearth. There only is real happiness." + +"But she has no dowry!" replied Madame de Gabry. + +Then, extending her hand to me, she continued: + +"You are our friend; I can tell you everything. The father of this +child was a banker, and one of our friends. He went into a colossal +speculation, and it ruined him. He survived only a few months after +his failure, in which, as Paul must have told you, three-fourths of +my uncle's fortune were lost, and more than half of our own. + +"We had made his acquaintance at Manaco, during the winter we passed +there at my uncle's house. He had an adventurous disposition, but +such an engaging manner! He deceived himself before ever he deceived +others. After all, it is in the ability to deceive oneself that the +greatest talent is shown, is it not? Well, we were captured--my +husband, my uncle, and I; and we risked much more than a reasonable +amount in a very hazardous undertaking. But, bah! as Paul says, +since we have no children we need not worry about it. Besides, we +have the satisfaction of knowing that the friend in whom we trusted +was an honest man.... You must know his name, it was so often in +the papers an on public placards--Noel Alexandre. His wife was a +very sweet person. I knew her only when she was already past her +prime, with traces of having once been very pretty, and a taste for +fashionable style and display which seemed quite becoming to her. +She was naturally fond of social excitement; but she showed a great +deal of courage and dignity after the death of her husband. She +died a year after him, leaving Jeanne alone in the world." + +"Clementine!" I cried out. + +And on thus learning what I had never imagined--the mere idea of which +would have set all the forces of my soul in revolt--upon hearing +that Clementine was no longer in this world, something like a great +silence came upon me; and the feeling which flooded my whole being +was not a keen, strong pain, but a quiet and solemn sorrow. Yet I +was conscious of some incomprehensible sense of alleviation, and my +thought rose suddenly to heights before unknown. + +"From wheresoever thou art at this moment, Clementine," I said to +myself, "look down upon this old heart now indeed cooled by age, yet +whose blood once boiled for thy sake, and say whether it is not +reanimated by the mere thought of being able to love all that remains +of thee on earth. Everything passes away since thou thyself hast +passed away; but Life is immortal; it is that Life we must love in +its forms eternally renewed. All the rest is child's play; and I +myself, with all my books, am only like a child playing with marbles. +The purpose of life--it is thou, Clementine, who has revealed it to +me!"... + +Madame de Gabry aroused me from my thoughts by murmuring, + +"The child is poor." + +"The daughter of Clementine is poor!" I exclaimed aloud; "how +fortunate that is so! I would not whish that any one by myself +should proved for her and dower her! No! the daughter of Clementine +must not have her dowry from any one but me." + +And, approaching Madame de Gabry as she rose from her chair, I took +her right hand; I kissed that hand, and placed it on my arm, and +said: + +"You will conduct me to the grave of the widow of Noel Alexandre." + +And I heard Madame de Gabry asking me: + +"Why are you crying?" + + + + +Chapter IV -- The Little Saint-George + + +April 16. + + +Saint Drocoveus and the early abbots of Saint-Germain-des-Pres have +been occupying me for the past forty years; but I do not know if I +shall be able to write their history before I go to join them. It +is already quite a long time since I became an old man. One day +last year, on the Pont des Arts, one of my fellow members at the +Institute was lamenting before me over the ennui of becoming old. + +"Still," Saint-Beuve replied to him, "it is the only way that has +yet been found of living a long time." + +I have tried this way, and I know just what it is worth. The trouble +of it is not that one lasts too long, but that one sees all about +him pass away--mother, wife, friends, children. Nature makes and +unmakes all these divine treasures with gloomy indifference, and +at last we find that we have not loved, we have only been embracing +shadows. But how sweet some shadows are! If ever creature glided +like a shadow through the life of a man, it was certainly that +young girl whom I fell in love with when--incredible though it +now seems--I was myself a youth. + +A Christian sarcophagus from the catacombs of Rome bears a formula +of imprecation, the whole terrible meaning of which I only learned +with time. It says: "Whatsoever impious man violates this sepulchre, +may he die the last of his own people!" In my capacity of +archaeologist, I have opened tombs and disturbed ashes in order to +collect the shreds of apparel, metal ornaments, or gems that were +mingled with those ashes. But I did it only through that scientific +curiosity which does not exclude feelings of reverence and of piety. +May that malediction graven by some one of the first followers of +the apostles upon a martyr's tomb never fall upon me! I ought not +to fear to survive my own people so long as there are men in the +world; for there are always some whom one can love. + +But the power of love itself weakens and gradually becomes lost with +age, like all the other energies of man. Example proves it; and +it is this which terrifies me. Am I sure that I have not myself +already suffered this great loss? I should surely have felt it, +but for the happy meeting which has rejuvenated me. Poets speak of +the Fountain of Youth; it does exist; it gushes up from the earth +at every step we take. And one passes by without drinking of it! + +The young girl I loved, married of her own choice to a rival, passed, +all grey-haired, into the eternal rest. I have found her daughter-- +so that my life, which before seemed to me without utility, now +once more finds a purpose and a reason for being. + +To-day I "take the sun," as they say in Provence; I take it on the +terrace of the Luxembourg, at the foot of the statue of Marguerite +de Navarre. It is a spring sun, intoxicating as young wine. I sit +and dream. My thoughts escape from my head like the foam from a +bottle of beer. They are light, and their fizzing amuses me. I +dream; such a pastime is certainly permissible to an old fellow who +has published thirty volumes of texts, and contributed to the 'Journal +des Savants' for twenty-six years. I have the satisfaction of +feeling that I performed my task as well as it was possible for me +to do, and that I utilised to their fullest extent those mediocre +faculties with which Nature endowed me. My efforts were not all in +vain, and I have contributed, in my own modest way, to that +renaissance of historical labours which will remain the honour of +this restless century. I shall certainly be counted among those ten +or twelve who revealed to France her own literary antiquities. My +publication of the poetical works of Gautier de Coincy inaugurated +a judicious system and fixed a date. It is in the austere calm of +old age that I decree to myself this deserved credit, and God, who +sees my heart, knows whether pride or vanity have aught to do with +this self-award of justice. + +But I am tired; my eyes are dim; my hand trembles, and I see an +image of myself in those old me of Homer, whose weakness excluded +them from the battle, and who, seated upon the ramparts, lifted up +their voices like crickets among the leaves. + +So my thoughts were wandering when three young men seated themselves +near me. I do not know whether each one of them had come in three +boats, like the monkey of Lafontaine, but the three certainly +displayed themselves over the space of twelve chairs. I took pleasure +in watching them, not because they had anything very extraordinary +about them, but because I discerned in them that brave joyous manner +which is natural to youth. They were from the schools. I was less +assured of it by the books they were carrying than by the character +of their physiognomy. For all who busy themselves with the things +of the mind can be at once recognised by an indescribably something +which is common to all of them. I am very fond of young people; +and these pleased me, in spite of a certain provoking wild manner +which recalled to me my own college days with marvellous vividness. +But they did not wear velvet doublets and long hair, as we used to +do; they did not walk about, as we used to do, "Hell and malediction!" +They were quite properly dressed, and neither their costume nor their +language had anything suggestive of the Middle Ages. I must also +add that they paid considerable attention to the women passing on the +terrace, and expressed their admiration of some of them in very +animated language. But their reflections, even on this subject, +were not of a character to oblige me to flee from my seat. Besides, +so long as youth is studious, I think it has a right to its gaieties. + +One of them, having made some gallant pleasantry which I forget, the +smallest and darkest of the three exclaimed, with a slight Gascon +accent, + +"What a thing to say! Only physiologists like us have any right to +occupy ourselves about living matter. As for you, Gelis, who only +live in the past--like all your fellow archivists and paleographers-- +you will do better to confine yourself to those stone women over +there, who are your contemporaries." + +And he pointed to the statues of the Ladies of Ancient France which +towered up, all white, in a half-circle under the trees of the +terrace. This joke, though in itself trifling, enabled me to know +that the young man called Gelis was a student at the Ecole des +Chartes. From the conversation which followed I was able to learn +that his neighbor, blond and wan almost to diaphaneity, taciturn +and sarcastic was Boulmier, a fellow student. Gelis and the future +doctor (I hope he will become one some day) discoursed together +with much fantasy and spirit. In the midst of the loftiest +speculations they would play upon words, and make jokes after the +peculiar fashion of really witty persons--that is to say, in a style +of enormous absurdity. I need hardly say, I suppose, that they only +deigned to maintain the most monstrous kind of paradoxes. They +employed all their powers of imagination to make themselves as +ludicrous as possible, and all their powers of reasoning to assert +the contrary of common sense. All the better for them! I do not +like to see young folks too rational. + +The student of medicine, after glancing at the title of the book that +Boulmier held in his hand, exclaimed, + +"What!--you read Michelet--you?" + +"Yes," replied Boulmier, very gravely. "I like novels." + +Gelis, who dominated both by his fine stature, imperious gestures, +and ready wit, took the book, turned over a few pages rapidly, and +said, + +"Michelet always had a great propensity to emotional tenderness. He +wept sweet tears over Maillard, that nice little man introduced la +paperasserie into the September massacres. But as emotional +tenderness leads to fury, he becomes all at once furious against +the victims. There was no help for it. It is the sentimentality of +the age. The assassin is pitied, but the victim is considered quite +unpardonable. In his later manner Michelet is more Michelet than +ever before. There is no common sense in it; it is simply wonderful! +Neither art nor science, neither criticism nor narrative; only furies +and fainting-spells and epileptic fits over matters which he never +deigns to explain. Childish outcries--envies de femme grosse!--and +a style, my friends!--not a single finished phrase! It is +astounding!" + +And he handed the book back to his comrade. "This is amusing +madness," I thought to myself, "and not quite so devoid of common +sense as it appears. This young man, though only playing has sharply +touched the defect in the cuirass." + +But the Provencal student declared that history was a thoroughly +despicable exercise of rhetoric. According to him, the only true +history was the natural history of man. Michelet was in the right +path when he came in contact with the fistula of Louis XIV., but he +fell back into the old rut almost immediately afterwards. + +After this judicious expression of opinion, the young physiologist +went to join a party of passing friends. The two archivists, less +well acquainted in the neighbourhood of a garden so far from the +Rue Paradis-au-Marais, remained together, and began to chat about +their studies. Gelis, who had completed his third class-year, was +preparing a thesis on the subject of which he expatiated with +youthful enthusiasm. Indeed, I thought the subject a very good one, +particularly because I had recently thought myself called upon to +treat a notable part of it. It was the Monasticon Gallicanum. +The young erudite (I give him the name as a presage) wanted to +describe all the engravings made about 1690 for the work which Dom +Michel Germain would have had printed but for the one irremediable +hindrance which is rarely foreseen and never avoided. Dom Michel +Germain would have had printed but for the one irremediable hindrance +which is rarely foreseen and never avoided. Dom Michel Germain left +his manuscript complete, however, and in good order when he died. +Shall I be able to do as much with mine?--but that is not the present +question. So far as I am able to understand, Monsieur Gelis intends +to devote a brief archaeological notice to each of the abbeys +pictured by the humble engravers of Dom Michel Germain. + +His friend asked him whether he was acquainted with all the +manuscripts and printed documents relating to the subject. It was +then that I pricked up my ears. They spoke at first of original +sources; and I must confess they did so in a satisfactory manner, +despite their innumerable and detestable puns. Then they began to +speak about contemporary studies on the subject. + +"Have you read," asked Boulmier, "the notice of Courajod?" + +"Good!" I thought to myself. + +"Yes," replied Gelis; "it is accurate." + +"Have you read," said Boulmier, "the article of Tamisey de Larroque +in the 'Revue des Questions Historiques'?" + +"Good!" I thought to myself, for the second time. + +"Yes," replied Gelis, "it is full of things."... + +"Have you read," said Boulmier, "the 'Tableau des Abbayes +Benedictines en 1600,' by Sylvestre Bonnard?" + +"Good!" I said to myself, for the third time. + +"Mai foi! no!" replied Gelis. "Bonnard is an idiot!" Turning my +head, I perceived that the shadow had reached the place where I was +sitting. It was growing chilly, and I thought to myself what a fool +I was to have remained sitting there, at the risk of getting +rheumatism, just to listen to the impertinence of those two young +fellows! + +"Well! well!" I said to myself as I got up. "Let this prattling +fledgling write his thesis and sustain it! He will find my colleague, +Quicherat, or some other professor at the school, to show him what +an ignoramus he is. I consider him neither more nor less than a +rascal; and really, now that I come to think of it, what he said +about Michelet awhile ago was quite insufferable, outrageous! To +talk in that way about an old master replete with genius! It was +simply abominable!" + + +April 17. + + +"Therese, give me my new hat, my best frock-coat, and my silver- +headed cane." + +But Therese is deaf as a sack of charcoal and slow as Justice. +Years have made her so. The worst is that she thinks she can hear +well and move about well; and, proud of her sixty years of upright +domesticity, she serves her old master with the most vigilant +despotism. + +"What did I tell you?" ...And now she will not give me my silver- +headed cane, for fear that I might lose it! It is true that I often +forget umbrellas and walking-sticks in the omnibuses and booksellers' +shops. But I have a special reason for wanting to take out with me +to-day my old cane with the engraved silver head representing Don +Quixote charging a windmill, lance in rest, while Sancho Panza, +with uplifted arms, vainly conjures him to a stop. That cane is +all that came to me from the heritage of my uncle, Captain Victor, +who in his lifetime resembled Don Quixote much more than Sancho +Panza, and who loved blows quite as much as most people fear them. + +For thirty years I have been in the habit of carrying this cane +upon all memorable or solemn visits which I make; and those two +figures of knight and squire give me inspiration and counsel. I +imagine I can hear them speak. Don Quixote says, + +"Think well about great things; and know that thought is the only +reality in this world. Lift up Nature to thine own stature; and +let the whole universe be for thee no more than the reflection of +thine own heroic soul. Combat for honour's sake: that alone is +worthy of a man! and if it should fall thee to receive wounds, +shed thy blood as a beneficent dew, and smile." + +And Sancho Panza says to me in his turn, + +"Remain just what heaven made thee, comrade! Prefer the bread-crust +which has become dry in thy wallet to all the partridges that roast +in the kitchen of lords. Obey thy master, whether he by a wise man +or a fool, and do not cumber thy brain with too many useless things. +Fear blows; 'tis verily tempting God to seek after danger!" + +But if the incomparable knight and his matchless squire are imagined +only upon this cane of mine, they are realities to my inner +conscience. Within every one of us there lives both a Don Quixote +and a Sancho Panza to whom we hearken by turns; and though Sancho +most persuades us, it is Don Quixote that we find ourselves obliged +to admire.... But a truce to this dotage!--and let us go to see +Madame de Gabry about some matters more important than the everyday +details of life.... + + +Same day. + + +I found Madame de Gabry dressed in black, just buttoning her gloves. + +"I am ready," she said. + +Ready!--so I have always found her upon any occasion of doing a +kindness. + +After some compliments about the good health of her husband, who was +taking a walk at the time, we descended the stairs and got into the +carriage. + +I do not know what secret influence I feared to dissipate by breaking +silence, but we followed the great deserted drives without speaking, +looking at the crosses, the monumental columns, and the mortuary +wreaths awaiting sad purchasers. + +The vehicle at last halted at the extreme verge of the land of the +living, before the gate upon which words of hope are graven. + +"Follow me," said Madame de Gabry, whose tall stature I noticed then +for the first time. She first walked down an alley of cypresses, +and then took a very narrow path contrived between the tombs. +Finally, halting before a plain slab, she said to me, + +"It is here." + +And she knelt down. I could not help noticing the beautiful and +easy manner in which this Christian woman fell upon her knees, +leaving the folds of her robe to spread themselves at random about +her. I had never before seen any lady kneel down with such frankness +and such forgetfulness of self, except two fair Polish exiles, one +evening long ago, in a deserted church in Paris. + +This image passed like a flash; and I saw only the sloping stone +on which was graven the name of Clementine. What I then felt was +something so deep and vague that only the sound of some rich music +could convey the idea of it. I seemed to hear instruments of +celestial sweetness make harmony in my old heart. With the solemn +accords of a funeral chant there seemed to mingle the subdued +melody of a song of love; for my soul blended into one feeling the +grave sadness of the present with the familiar graces of the past. + +I cannot tell whether we had remained a long time at the tomb of +Clementine before Madame de Gabry arose. We passed through the +cemetery again without speaking to each other. Only when we found +ourselves among the living once more did I feel able to speak. + +"While following you there," I said to Madame de Gabry, "I could +not help thinking of those angels with whom we are said to meet on +the mysterious confines of life and death. That tomb you led me +to, of which I knew nothing--as I know nothing, or scarcely +anything, concerning her whom it covers--brought back to me emotions +which were unique in my life, and which seem in the dullness of that +life like some light gleaming upon a dark road. The light recedes +farther and farther away as the journey lengthens; I have now almost +reached the bottom of the last slope; and, nevertheless, each time +I turn to look back I see the glow as bright as ever. + +"You, Madame, who knew Clementine as a young wife and mother after +her hair had become grey, you cannot imagine her as I see her still; +a young fair girl, all pink and white. Since you have been so kind +as to be my guide, dear Madame, I ought to tell you what feelings +were awakened in me by the sight of that grave to which you led me. +Memories throng back upon me. I feel myself like some old gnarled +and mossy oak which awakens a nestling world of birds by shaking +its branches. Unfortunately the song my birds sing is old as the +world, and can amuse no one but myself." + +"Tell me your souvenirs," said Madame de Gabry. "I cannot read your +books, because they are written only for scholars; but I like very +much to have you talk to me, because you know how to give interest +to the most ordinary things in life. And talk to me just as you +would talk to an old woman. This morning I found three grey threads +in my hair." + +"Let them come without regret, Madame," I replied. "Time deals +gently only with those who take it gently. And when in some years +more you will have a silvery fringe under your black fillet, you +will be reclothed with a new beauty, less vivid but more touching +than the first; and you will find your husband admiring your grey +tresses as much as he did that black curl which you gave him when +about to be married, and which he preserves in a locket as a thing +sacred.... These boulevards are broad and very quiet. We can talk +at our ease as we walk along. I will tell you, to begin with, how +I first made the acquaintance of Clementine's father. But you must +not expect anything extraordinary, or anything even remarkable; you +would be greatly deceived. + +"Monsieur de Lessay used to live in the second storey of an old house +in the Avenue de l'Observatoire, having a stuccoed front, ornamented +with antique busts, and a large unkept garden attached to it. That +facade and that garden were the first images my child-eyes perceived; +and they will be the last, no doubt, which I still see through my +closed eyelids when the Inevitable Day comes. For it was in that +house that I was born; it was in that garden I first learned, while +playing, to feel and know some particles of this old universe. +Magical hours!--sacred hours!--when the soul, all fresh from the +making, first discoveries the world, which for its sake seems to +assume such caressing brightness, such mysterious charm! And that, +Madame, is indeed because the universe itself is only the reflection +of our soul. + +"My mother was being very happily constituted. She rose with the +sun, like the birds; and she herself resembled the birds by her +domestic industry, by her maternal instinct, by her perpetual desire +to sing, and by a sort of brusque grace, which I could feel the +of very well even as a child. She was the soul of the house, which +she filled with her systematic and joyous activity. My father was +just as slow as she was brisk. I can recall very well that placid +face of his, over which at times an ironical smile used to flit. +He was fatigued with active life; and he loved his fatigue. Seated +beside the fire in his big arm-chair, he used to read from morning +till night; and it is from him that I inherit my love of books. I +have in my library a Mably and a Raynal, which he annotated with +his own hand from beginning to end. But it was utterly useless +attempting to interest him in anything practical whatever. When +my mother would try, by all kinds of gracious little ruses, to lure +him out of his retirement, he would simply shake his head with that +inexorable gentleness which is the force of weak characters. He +used in this way greatly to worry the poor woman, who could not +enter at all into his own sphere of meditative wisdom, and could +understand nothing of life except its daily duties and the merry +labour of each hour. She thought him sick, and feared he was going +to become still more so. But his apathy had a different cause. + +"My father, entering the Naval office under Monsieur Decres, in 1801, +gave early proof of high administrative talent. There was a great +deal of activity in the marine department in those times; and in +1805 my father was appointed chief of the Second Administrative +Division. That same year, the Emperor, whose attention had been +called to him by the Minister, ordered him to make a report upon +the organisation of the English navy. This work, which reflected +a profoundly liberal and philosophic spirit, of which the editor +himself was unconscious, was only finished in 1807--about eighteen +months after the defeat of Admiral Villeneuve at Trafalgar. Napoleon, +who, from that disastrous day, never wanted to hear the word ship +mentioned in his presence, angrily glanced over a few pages of the +memoir, and then threw it in the fire, vociferating, 'Words!--words! +I said once before that I hated ideologists.' My father was told +afterwards that the Emperor's anger was so intense at the moment +that he stamped the manuscript down into the fire with his boot- +heels. At all events, it was his habit, when very much irritated, +to poke down the fire with his boot-soles. My father never fully +recovered from this disgrace; and the fruitlessness of all his +efforts towards reform was certainly the cause of the apathy which +came upon him at a later day. Nevertheless, Napoleon, after his +return from Elba, sent for him, and ordered him to prepare some +liberal and patriotic bulletins and proclamations for the fleet. +After Waterloo, my father, whom the event had rather saddened than +surprised, retired into private life, and was not interfered with-- +except that it was generally averred of him that he was a Jacobin, +a buveur-de-sang--one of those men with whom no one could afford +to be on intimate terms. My mother's eldest brother, Victor Maldent, +and infantry captain--retired on half-pay in 1814, and disbanded in +1815--aggravated by his bad attitude the situation in which the fall +of the Empire had placed my father. Captain Victor used to shout +in the cafes and the public balls that the Bourbons had sold France +to the Cossacks. He used to show everybody a tricoloured cockade +hidden in the lining of his hat; and carried with much ostentation +a walking-stick, the handle of which had been so carved that the +shadow thrown by it made the silhouette of the Emperor. + +"Unless you have seen certain lithographs by Charlet, Madame, you +could form no idea of the physiognomy of my Uncle Victor, when he +used to stride about the garden of the Tuileries with a fiercely +elegant manner of his own--buttoned up in his frogged coat, with +his cross-of-honour upon his breast, and a bouquet of violets in +his button-hole. + +"Idleness and intemperance greatly intensified the vulgar recklessness +of his political passions. He used to insult people whom he happened +to see reading the 'Quotidienne,' or the 'Drapeau Blanc,' and +compel them to fight with him. In this way he had the pain and +the shame of wounding a boy of sixteen in a duel. In short, my +Uncle Victor was the very reverse of a well-behaved person; and as +he came to lunch and dine at our house every blessed day in the +year, his bad reputation became attached to our family. My poor +father suffered cruelly from some of his guest's pranks; but being +very good-natured, he never made any remarks, and continued to give +the freedom of his house to the captain, who only despised him for +it. + +"All this which I have told you, Madame, was explained to me +afterwards. But at the time in question, my uncle the captain filled +me with the very enthusiasm of admiration, and I promised myself +to try to become some day as like him as possible. So one fine +morning, in order to begin the likeness, I put my arms akimbo, and +swore like a trooper. My excellent mother at once gave me such +a box on the ear that I remained half stupefied for some little +while before I could even burst out crying. I can still see the +old arm-chair, covered with yellow Utrecht velvet, behind which I +wept innumerable tears that day. + +"I was a very little fellow then. One morning my father, lifting +me upon his knees, as he was in the habit of doing, smiled at me +with that slightly ironical smile which gave a certain piquancy to +his perpetual gentleness of manner. As I sat on his knee, playing +with his long white hair, he told me something which I did not +understand very well, but which interested me very much, for the +simple reason that it was mysterious to me. I think but am not +quite sure, that he related to me that morning the story of the +little King of Yvetot, according to the song. All of a sudden we +heard a great report; and the windows rattled. My father slipped +me down gently on the floor at his feet; he threw up his trembling +arms, with a strange gesture; his face became all inert and white, +and his eyes seemed enormous. He tried to speak, but his teeth +were chattering. At last he murmured, 'They have shot him!' I +did not know what he meant, and felt only a vague terror. I knew +afterwards, however, that hew was speaking of Marshal Ney, who fell +on the 7th of December, 1815, under the wall enclosing some waste +ground beside our house. + +"About that time I used often to meet on the stairway an old man +(or, perhaps, not exactly an old man) with little black eyes which +flashed with extraordinary vivacity, and an impassive, swarthy face. +He did not seem to me alive--or at least he did not seem to me alive +in the same way that other men are alive. I had once seen, at the +residence of Monsieur Denon, where my father had taken me with him +on a visit, a mummy brought from Egypt; and I believed in good faith +that Monsieur Denon's mummy used to get up when no one was looking, +leave its gilded case, put on a brown coat and powdered wig, and +become transformed into Monsieur de Lessay. And even to-day, dear +Madame, while I reject that opinion as being without foundation, +I must confess that Monsier de Lessay bore a very strong resemblance +to Monsieur Denon's mummy. The fact is enough to explain why this +person inspired me with fantastic terror. + +"In reality, Monsieur de Lessay was a small gentleman and a great +philosopher. As a disciple of Mably and Rousseau, he flattered +himself on being a man without any prejudices; and this pretension +itself is a very great prejudice. + +"He professed to hate fanaticism, yet was himself a fanatic on the +topic of toleration. I am telling you, Madame, about a character +belonging to an age that is past. I fear I may not be able to make +you understand, and I am sure I shall not be able to interest you. +It was so long ago! But I will abridge as much as possible: +besides, I did not promise you anything interesting; and you could +not have expected to hear of remarkable adventures in the life of +Sylvestre Bonnard." + +Madame de Gabry encouraged me to proceed, and I resumed: + +"Monsieur de Lessay was brusque with men and courteous to ladies. +He used to kiss the hand of my mother, whom the customs of the +Republic and the Empire had not habituated to such gallantry. In +him, I touched the age of Louis XVI. Monsieur de Lessay was a +geographer; and nobody, I believe, ever showed more pride then he +in occupying himself with the face of the earth. Under the Old +Regime he had attempted philosophical agriculture, and thus +squandered his estates to the very last acre. When he had ceased +to own one square foot of ground, he took possession of the whole +globe, and prepared an extraordinary number of maps, based upon +the narratives of travellers. But as he had been mentally nourished +with the very marrow of the "Encyclopedie," he was not satisfied +with merely parking off human beings within so many degrees, minutes, +and seconds of latitude and longitude. he also occupied himself, +alas! with the question of their happiness. It is worthy of remark, +Madame, that those who have given themselves the most concern about +the happiness of peoples have made their neighbors very miserable. +Monsieur de Lessay, who was more of a geometrician than D'Alembert, +and more of a philosopher than Jean Jacques, was also more of a +royalist than Louis XVIII. But his love for the King was nothing +to his hate for the Emperor. He had joined the conspiracy of +Georges against the First Consul; but in the framing of the +indictment he was not included among the inculpated parties, having +been either ignored or despised, and this injury he never could +forgive Bonaparte, whom he called the Ogre of Corsica, and to whom +he used to say he would never have confided even the command of +a regiment, so pitiful a soldier he judged him to be. + +"In 1820, Monsieur de Lessay, who had then been a widower for many +years, married again, at the age of sixty, a very young woman, whom +he pitilessly kept at work preparing maps for him, and who gave him +a daughter some years after their marriage, and died in childbed. +My mother had nursed her during her brief illness, and had taken +care of the child. The name of that child was Clementine. + +"It was from the time of that birth and that death that the +relations between our family and Monsieur de Lessay began. In the +meanwhile I had been growing dull as I began to leave my true +childhood behind me. I had lost the charming power of being +able to see and feel; and things no longer caused me those delicious +surprises which form the enchantment of the more tender age. For +the same reason, perhaps, I have no distinct remembrance of the +period following the birth of Clementine; I only know that a few +months afterwards I had a misfortune, the mere thought of which +still wrings my heart. I lost my mother. A great silence, a great +coldness, and a great darkness seemed all at once to fill the house. + +"I fell into a sort of torpor. My father sent me to the lycee, +but I could only arouse myself from my lethargy with the greatest +of effort. + +"Still, I was not altogether a dullard, and my professors were able +to teach me almost everything they wanted, namely, a little Greek +and a great deal of Latin. My acquaintances were confined to the +ancients. I learned to esteem Miltiades, and to admire Themistocles. +I became familiar with Quintus Fabius, as far, at least, as it was +possible to become familiar with so great a Consul. Proud of these +lofty acquaintances, I scarcely ever condescended to notice little +Clementine and her old father, who, in any event, went away to +Normandy one fine morning without my having deigned to give a moment's +thought to their possible return. + +"They came back, however, Madame, they came back! Influences of +Heaven, forces of nature, all ye mysterious powers which vouchsafe +to man the ability to love, you know how I again beheld Clementine! +They re-entered our melancholy home. Monsieur de Lessay no longer +wore a wig. Bald, with a few grey locks about his ruddy temples, +he had all the aspect of robust old age. But that divine being whom +I saw all resplendent, as she leaned upon his arm--she whose +presence illuminated the old faded parlour--she was not an +apparition! It was Clementine herself! I am speaking the simple +truth: her violet eyes seemed to me in that moment supernatural, +and even to-day I cannot imagine how those two living jewels could +have endured the fatigues of life, or become subjected to the +corruption of death. + +"She betrayed a little shyness in greeting my father, whom she did +not remember. Her complexion was slightly pink, and her half-open +lips smiled with that smile which makes one think of the Infinite-- +perhaps because it betrays no particular thought, and expresses only +the joy of living and the bliss of being beautiful. Under a pink +hood her face shone like a gem in an open casket; she wore a +cashmere scarf over a robe of white muslin plaited at the waist, +from beneath which protruded the tip of a little Morocco shoe.... +Oh! you must not make fun of me, dear Madame, that was the fashion +of the time; and I do not know whether our new fashions have nearly +so much simplicity, brightness, and decorous grace. + +"Monsieur de Lessay informed us that, in consequence of having +undertaken the publication of a historical atlas, he had come back +to live in Paris, and that he would be pleased to occupy his former +apartment, if it was still vacant. My father asked Mademoiselle de +Lessay whether she was pleased to visit the capital. She appeared +to be, for her smile blossomed out in reply. She smiled at the +windows that looked out upon the green and luminous garden; she +smiled at the bronze Marius seated among the ruins of Carthage above +the dial of the clock; she smiled a the old yellow-velveted arm- +chairs, and at the poor student who was afraid to lift his eyes to +look at her. From that day--how I loved her! + +"But here we are already a the Rue de Severs, and in a little while +we shall be in sight of your windows. I am a very bad story-teller; +and if I were--by some impossible chance--to take it into my head +to compose a novel, I know I should never succeed. I have been +drawing out to tiresome length a narrative which I must finish +briefly; for there is a certain delicacy, a certain grace of soul, +which an old man could not help offending by an complacent +expatiation upon the sentiments of even the purest love. Let us +take a short turn on this boulevard, lined with convents; and my +recital will be easily finished within the distance separating us +from that little spire you see over there.... + +"Monsieur de Lessay, on finding that I had graduated at the Ecole +des Chartes, judged me worthy to assist him in preparing his +historical atlas. The plan was to illustrate, by a series of maps, +what the old philosopher termed the Vicissitudes of Empires from +the time of Noah down to that of Charlemagne. Monsieur de Lessay +had stored up in his head all the errors of the eighteenth century +in regard to antiquity. I belonged, so far as my historical studies +were concerned, to the new school; and I was just at that age when +one does not know how to dissemble. The manner in which the old man +understood, or, rather, misunderstood, the epoch of the Barbarians-- +his obstinate determination to find in remote antiquity only +ambitious princes, hypocritical and avaricious prelates, virtuous +citizens, poet-philosophers, and other personages who never existed +outside of the novels of Marmontel,--made me dreadfully unhappy, +and at first used to excite me into attempts at argument,--rational +enough, but perfectly useless and sometimes dangerous, for Monsieur +de Lessay was very irascible, and Clementine was very beautiful. +Between her and him I passed many hours of torment and of delight. +I was in love; I was a coward, and I granted to him all that he +demanded of me in regard to the political and historical aspect which +the Earth--that was at a later day to bear Clementine--presented +in the time of Abraham, of Menes, and of Deucalion. + +"As fast as we drew our maps, Mademoiselle de Lessay tinted them in +water-colours. Bending over the table, she held the brush lightly +between two fingers; the shadow of her eyelashes descended upon her +cheeks, and bather her half-closed eyes in a delicious penumbra. +Sometimes she would lift her head, and I would see her lips pout. +There was so much expression in her beauty that she could not breathe +without seeming to sigh; and her most ordinary poses used to throw +me into the deepest ecstasies of admiration. Whenever I gazed at her +I fully agreed with Monsieur de Lessay that Jupiter had once reigned +as a despot-king over the mountainous regions of Thessaly, and that +Orpheus had committed the imprudence of leaving the teaching of +philosophy to the clergy. I am not now quite sure whether I was a +coward or a hero when I accorded al this to the obstinate old man. + +"Mademoiselle de Lessay, I must acknowledge, paid very little +attention to me. But this indifference seemed to me so just and so +natural that I never even dreamed of thinking I had a right to +complain about it; it made me unhappy, but without my knowing that +I was unhappy at the time. I was hopeful;--we had then only got +as far as the First Assyrian Empire. + +"Monsieur de Lessay came every evening to take coffee with my father. +I do not know how they became such friends; for it would have been +difficult to find two characters more oppositely constituted. My +father was a man who admired very few things, but was still capable +of excusing a great many. Still, as he grew older, he evinced more +and more dislike of everything in the shape of exaggeration. He +clothed his ideas with a thousand delicate shades of expression, +and never pronounced an opinion without all sorts of reservations. +These conversational habits, natural to a finely trained mind, used +greatly to irritate the dry, terse old aristocrat, who was never +in the least disarmed by the moderation of an adversary--quite the +contrary! I always foresaw one danger. That danger was Bonaparte. +My father had not himself retained an particular affection for his +memory; but, having worked under his direction, he did not like to +hear him abused, especially in favour of the Bourbons, against whom +he had serious reason to feel resentment. Monsieur de Lessay, more +of a Voltairean and a Legitimist than ever, now traced back to +Bonaparte the origin of every social, political, and religious evil. +Such being the situation, the idea of Uncle Victor made me feel +particularly uneasy. This terrible uncle had become absolutely +unsufferable now that his sister was no longer there to calm him +down. The harp of David was broken, and Saul was wholly delivered +over to the spirit of madness. The fall of Charles X. had increased +the audacity of the old Napoleonic veteran, who uttered all +imaginable bravadoes. He no longer frequented our house, which had +become too silent for him. But sometimes, at the dinner-hour, we +would see him suddenly make his appearance, all covered with flowers, +like a mausoleum. Ordinarily he would sit down to table with an +oath, growled out from the very bottom of his chest, and brag, +between every two mouthfuls, of his good fortune with the ladies as +a vieux brave. Then, when the dinner was over, he would fold up +his napkin in the shape of a bishop's mitre, gulp down half a +decanter of brandy, and rush away with the hurried air of a man +terrified at the mere idea of remaining for any length of time, +without drinking, in conversation with an old philosopher and a +young scholar. I felt perfectly sure that, if ever he and Monsieur +de Lessay should come together, all would be lost. But that day +came, Madame! + +"The captain was almost hidden by flowers that day, and seemed so +much like a monument commemorating the glories of the Empire that +one would have liked to pass a garland of immortelles over each of +his arms. He was in an extraordinarily good humour; and the first +person to profit by that good humour was our cook--for he put his +arm around her waist while she was placing the roast on the table. + +"After dinner he pushed away the decanter presented to him, observing +that he was going to burn some brandy in his coffee later on. I +asked him tremblingly whether he would not prefer to have his coffee +at once. He was very suspicious, and not at all dull of +comprehension--my Uncle Victor. My precipitation seemed to him in +very bad taste; for he looked at me in a peculiar way, and said, + +"'Patience! my nephew. It isn't the business of the baby of the +regiment to sound the retreat! Devil take it! You must be in a +great hurry, Master Pedant, to see if I've got spurs on my boots!' + +"It was evident the captain had divined that I wanted him to go. +And I knew him well enough to be sure that he was going to stay. +He stayed. The least circumstances of that evening remain +impressed on my memory. My uncle was extremely jovial. The mere +idea of being in somebody's way was enough to keep him in good +humour. He told us, in regular barrack style, ma foi! a certain +story about a monk, a trumpet, and five bottles of Chambertin, +which must have been much enjoyed in the garrison society, but which +I would not venture to repeat to you, Madame, even if I could +remember it. When we passed into the parlour, the captain called +attention to the bad condition of our andirons, and learnedly +discoursed on the merits of rotten-stone as a brass-polisher. Not +a word on the subject of politics. He was husbanding his forces. +Eight o'clock sounded from the ruins of Carthage on the mantlepiece. +It was Monsieur de Lessay's hour. A few moments later he entered +the parlour with his daughter. The ordinary evening chat began. +Clementine sat down and began to work on some embroidery beside the +lamp, whose shade left her pretty head in a soft shadow, and threw +down upon her fingers a radiance that made them seem almost self- +luminous. Monsieur de Lessay spoke of a comet announced by the +astronomers, and developed some theories in relation to the subject, +which, however audacious, betrayed at least a certain degree of +intellectual culture. My father, who knew a good deal about +astronomy, advanced some sound ideas of his own, which he ended up +with his eternal, 'But what do we know about it, after all?' In +my turn I cited the opinion of our neighbour of the Observatory-- +the great Arago. My Uncle Victor declared that comets had a +peculiar influence on the quality of wines, and related in support +of this view a jolly tavern-story. I was so delighted with the +turn the conversation had taken that I did all in my power to +maintain it in the same groove, with the help of my most recent +studies, by a long exposition of the chemical composition of those +nebulous bodies which, although extending over a length of billions +of leagues, could be contained in a small bottle. My father, a +little surprised at my unusual eloquence, watched me with his +peculiar, placid, ironical smile. But one cannot always remain in +heaven. I spoke, as I looked at Clementine, of a certain comete +of diamonds, which I had been admiring in a jeweller's window the +evening before. It was a most unfortunate inspiration of mine. + +"'Ah! my nephew,' cried Uncle Victor, that "comete" of yours was +nothing to the one which the Empress Josephine wore in her hair +when she came to Strasburg to distribute crosses to the army.' + +"'That little Josephine was very fond of finery and display,' +observed Monsieur de Lessay, between two sips of coffee. 'I do +not blame her for it; she had good qualities, though rather frivolous +in character. She was a Tascher, and she conferred a great honour +on Bonaparte by marrying him. To say a Tascher does not, of course, +mean a great deal; but to say a Bonaparte simply means nothing at +all.' + +"'What do you mean by that, Monsieur the Marquis?' demanded Captain +Victor. + +"'I am not a marquis,' dryly responded Monsieur de Lessay; 'and I +mean simply that Bonaparte would have been very well suited had he +married one of those cannibal women described by Captain Cook in +his voyages--naked, tattooed, with a ring in her nose--devouring +with delight putrefied human flesh.' + +"I had foreseen it, and in my anguish (O pitiful human heart!) my +first idea was about the remarkable exactness of my anticipations. +I must say that the captain's reply belonged to the sublime order. +He put his arms akimbo, eyed Monsieur de Lessay contemptuously from +head to food, and said, + +"'Napoleon, Monsieur the Vidame, had another spouse besides Josephine, +another spouse besides Marie-Louise. that companion you know nothing +of; but I have seen her, close to me. She wears a mantle of azure +gemmed with stars; she is crowned with laurels; the Cross-of-Honour +flames upon her breast. Her name is GLORY!' + +"Monsieur de Lessay set his cup on the mantlepiece and quietly +observed, + +"'Your Bonaparte was a blackguard!' + +"My father rose up calmly, extended his arm, and said very softly +to Monsieur de Lessay, + +"Whatever the man was who died at St. Helena, I worked for ten years +in his government, and my brother-in-law was three times wounded +under his eagles. I beg of you, dear sir and friend, never to +forget these facts in future.' + +"What the sublime and burlesque insolence of the captain could not +do, the courteous remonstrance of my father effected immediately, +throwing Monsieur de Lessay into a furious passion. + +"'I did forget,' he exclaimed, between his set teeth, livid in his +rage, and fairly foaming at the mouth; 'the herring-cask always +smells of herring and when one has been in the service of rascals---' + +"As he uttered the word, the Captain sprang at his throat; I am sure +he would have strangled him upon the spot but for his daughter and +me. + +"My father, a little paler than his wont, stood there with his arms +folded, and watched the scene with a look of inexpressible pity. +What followed was still more lamentable--but why dwell further upon +the folly of two old men. Finally I succeeded in separating them. +Monsieur de Lessay made a sign to his daughter and left the room. +As she was following him, I ran out into the stairway after her. + +"'Mademoiselle,' I said to her, wildly, taking her hand as I spoke, +'I love you! I love you!' + +"For a moment she pressed my hand; her lips opened. What was it +that she was going to say to me? But suddenly, lifting her eyes +towards her father ascending the stairs, she drew her hand away, +and made me a gesture of farewell. + +"I never saw her again. Her father went to live in the neighbourhood +of the Pantheon, in an apartment which he had rented for the sale of +his historical atlas. He died in a few months afterward of an +apoplectic stroke. His daughter, I was told, retired to Caen to live +with some aged relative. It was there that, later on, she married +a bank-clerk, the same Noel Alexandre who became so rich and died +so poor. + +"As for me, Madame, I have lived alone, at peace with myself; my +existence, equally exempt from great pains and great joys, has +been tolerably happy. But for many years I could never see an +empty chair beside my own of a winter's evening without feeling a +sudden painful sinking at my heart. Last year I learned from you, +who had known her, the story of her old age and death. I saw her +daughter at your house. I have seen her; but I cannot yet say +like the aged mad of Scripture, 'And now, O Lord, let thy servant +depart in peace!' For if an old fellow like me can be of any use +to anybody, I would wish, with your help, to devote my last +energies and abilities to the care of this orphan." + +I had uttered these last words in Madame de Gabry's own vestibule; +and I was about to take leave of my kind guide when she said to me, + +"My dear Monsieur, I cannot help you in this matter as much as I +would like to do. Jeanne is an orphan and a minor. You cannot do +anything for her without the authorisation of her guardian." + +"Ah!" I exclaimed, "I had not the least idea in the wold that Jeanne +had a guardian!" + +Madame de Gabry looked at me with visible surprise. She had not +expected to find the old man quite so simple. + +She resumed: + +"The guardian of Jeanne Alexandre is Maitre Mouche, notary at +Levallois-Perret. I am afraid you will not be able to come to any +understanding with him; for he is a very serious person." + +"Why! good God!" I cried, "with what kind of people can you expect +me to have any sort of understanding at my age, except serious +persons." + +She smiled with a sweet mischievousness--just as my father used to +smile--and answered: + +"With those who are like you--the innocent folks who wear their +hearts on their sleeves. Monsieur Mouche is not exactly that kind. +He is cunning and light-fingered. But although I have very little +liking for him, we will go together and see him, if you wish, and +ask his permission to visit Jeanne, whom he has sent to a boarding- +school at Les Ternes, where she is very unhappy." + +We agreed at once upon a day; I kissed Madame de Gabry's hands, +and we bade each other good-bye. + + +From May 2 to May 5. + + +I have seen him in his office, Maitre Mouche, the guardian of Jeanne. +Small, thin, and dry; his complexion looks as if it was made out of +the dust of his pigeon-holes. He is a spectacled animal; for to +imagine him without his spectacles would be impossible. I have +heard him speak, this Maitre Mouche; he has a voice like a tin +rattle, and he uses choice phrases; but I should have been better +pleased if he had not chosen his phrases so carefully. I have +observed him, this Maitre Mouche; he is very ceremonious, and watches +his visitors slyly out of the corner of his eye. + +Maitre Mouche is quite pleased, he informs us; he is delighted to +find we have taken such an interest in his ward. But he does not +think we are placed in this world just to amuse ourselves. No: he +does not believe it; and I am free to acknowledge that anybody in +his company is likely to reach the same conclusion, so little is he +capable of inspiring joyfulness. He fears that it would be giving +his dear ward a false and pernicious idea of life to allow her too +much enjoyment. It is for this reason that he requests Madame de +Gabry not to invite the young girl to her house except at very long +intervals. + +We left the dusty notary and his dusty study with a permit in due +form (everything which issues from the office of Maitre Mouche is in +due form) to visit Mademoiselle Jeanne Alexandre on the first +Thursday of each month at Mademoiselle Prefere's private school, Rue +Demours, Aux Ternes. + +The first Thursday in May I set out to pay a visit to Mademoiselle +Prefere, whose establishment I discerned from afar off by a big +sign, painted with blue letters. That blue tint was the first +indication I received of Mademoiselle Prefere's character, which +I was able to see more of later on. A scared-looking servant took +my card, and abandoned me without one word of hope at the door of +a chilly parlour full of that stale odour peculiar to the dining- +rooms of educational establishments. The floor of this parlour had +been waxed with such pitiless energy, that I remained for awhile +in distress upon the threshold. But happily observing that little +strips of woollen carpet had been scattered over the floor in front +of each horse-hair chair, I succeeded, by cautiously stepping from +one carpet-island to another in reaching the angle of the mantlepiece, +where I sat down quite out of breath. + +Over the mantelpiece, in a large gilded frame, was a written document, +entitled in flamboyant Gothic lettering, Tableau d'Honneur, with +a long array of names underneath, among which I did not have the +pleasure of finding that of Jeanne Alexandre. After having read over +several times the names of those girl-pupils who had thus made +themselves honoured in the eyes of Mademoiselle Prefere, I began to +feel uneasy at not hearing any one coming. Mademoiselle Prefere +would certainly have succeeded in establishing the absolute silence +of interstellar spaces throughout her pedagogical domains, had it +not been that the sparrows had chosen her yard to assemble in by +legions, and chirp at the top of their voices. It was a pleasure +to hear them. But there was no way of seeing them--through the +ground-glass windows. I had to content myself with the sights of +the parlour, decorated from floor to ceiling, on all of its four +walls, with drawings executed by the pupils of the institution. +There were Vestals, flowers, thatched cottages, column-capitals, +and an enormous head of Tatius, King of the Sabines, bearing the +signature Estelle Mouton. + +I had already passed some time in admiring the energy with which +Mademoiselle Mouton had delineated the bushy eyebrows and the fierce +gaze of the antique warrior, when a sound, faint like the rustling +of a dead leaf moved by the wind, caused me to turn my head. It was +not a dead leaf at all--it was Mademoiselle Prefere. With hands +jointed before her, she came gliding over the mirror-polish of that +wonderful floor as the Saints of the Golden Legend were wont to glide +over the crystal surface of the waters. But upon any other occasion, +I am sure, Mademoiselle Prefere would not have made me think in the +least about those virgins dear to mystical fancy. Her face rather +gave me the idea of a russet-apple preserved or a whole winter in an +attic by some economical housekeeper. Her shoulders were covered +with a fringed pelerine, which had nothing at all remarkable about +it, but which she wore as if it were a sacerdotal vestment, or the +symbol of some high civic function. + +I explained to her the purpose of my visit, and gave her my letter of +introduction. + +"Ah!--so you are Monsieur Mouche!" she exclaimed. "Is his health +VERY good? He is the most upright of men, the most---" + +She did not finish the phrase, but raised her eyes to the ceiling. +My own followed the direction of their gaze, and observed a little +spiral of paper lace, suspended from the place of the chandelier, +which was apparently destined, so far as I could discover, to attract +the flies away from the gilded mirror-frames and the Tableau +d'Honneur. + +"I have met Mademoiselle Jeanne Alexandre," I observed, "at the +residence of Madame de Gabry and had reason to appreciate the +excellent character and quick intelligence of the young girl. As +I used to know her parents very well, the friendship which I felt +for them naturally inclines me to take an interest in her." + +Mademoiselle Prefere, in lieu of making any reply, sighed profoundly, +pressed her mysterious pelerine to her heart, and again contemplated +the paper spiral. + +At last she observed, + +"Since you were once the friend of Monsieur and Madame Alexandre, I +hope and trust that, like Monsieur Mouche and myself, you deplore +those crazy speculations which led them to ruin, and reduced their +daughter to absolute poverty!" + +I thought to myself, on hearing these words, how very wrong it is to +be unlucky, and how unpardonable such an error on the part of those +previously in a position worthy of envy. Their fall at once avenges +and flatters us; and we are wholly pitiless. + +After having answered, very frankly, that I knew nothing whatever +about the history of the bank, I asked the schoolmistress if she +was satisfied with Mademoiselle Alexandre. + +"That child is indomitable!" cried Mademoiselle Prefere. + +And she assumed an attitude of lofty resignation, to symbolise the +difficult situation she was placed in by a pupil so hard to train. +Then, with more calmness of manner, she added: + +"The young person is not unintelligent. But she cannot resign herself +to learn things by rule." + +What a strange old maid was this Mademoiselle Prefere! She walked +without lifting her legs, and spoke without moving her lips! Without, +however, considering her peculiarities for more than a reasonable +instant, I replied that principles were, no doubt, very excellent +things, and that I could trust myself to her judgement in regard to +their value; but that, after all, when one had learned something, it +very little difference what method had been followed in the learning +of it. + +Mademoiselle made a slow gesture of dissent. Then with a sigh, she +declared, + +"Ah, Monsieur! those who do not understand educational methods are +apt to have very false ideas on these subjects. I am certain they +express their opinions with the best intentions in the world; but +they would do better, a great deal better, to leave all such +questions to competent people." + +I did not attempt to argue further; and simply asked her whether I +could see Mademoiselle Alexandre at once. + +She looked at her pelerine, as if trying to read in the entanglements +of its fringes, as in a conjuring book, what sort of answer she ought +to make; then said, + +"Mademoiselle Alexandre has a penance to perform, and a class-lesson +to give; but I should be very sorry to let you put yourself to the +trouble of coming here all to no purpose. I am going to send for her. +Only first allow me, Monsieur--as is our custom--to put your name on +the visitors' register." + +She sat down at the table, opened a large copybook, and, taking out +Maitre Mouche's letter again from under her pelerine, where she had +placed it, looked at it, and began to write. + +"'Bonnard'--with a 'd,' is it not?" she asked. "Excuse me for being +so particular; but my opinion is that proper names have an +orthography. We have dictation-lessons in proper names, Monsieur, +at this school--historical proper names, of course!" + +After I had written down my name in a running hand, she inquired +whether she should not put down after it my profession, title, +quality--such as "retired merchant," "employe," "independent +gentleman," or something else. There was a column in her register +expressly for that purpose. + +"My goodness, Madame!" I said, "if you must absolutely fill that +column of yours, put down 'Member of the Institute.'" + +It was still Mademoiselle Prefere's pelerine I saw before me; but +it was not Mademoiselle Prefere who wore it; it was a totally +different person, obliging, gracious, caressing, radiant, happy. Her eyes, +smiled; the little wrinkles of her face (there were a vast number of +them!) also smiled; her mouth smiled likewise, but only on one side. +I discovered afterwards that was her best side. She spoke: her +voice had also changed with her manner; it was now sweet as honey. + +"You said, Monsieur, that our dear Jeanne was very intelligent. I +discovered the same thing myself, and I am proud of being able to +agree with you. This young girl has really made me feel a great deal +of interest in her. She has what I call a happy disposition.... +But excuse me for thus drawing upon your valuable time." + +She summoned the servant-girl, who looked much more hurried and +scared than before, and who vanished with the order to go and tell +Mademoiselle Alexandre that Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard, Member of +the Institute, was waiting to see her in the parlour. + +Mademoiselle Prefere had barely time to confide in me that she had +the most profound respect for all decisions of the Institute--whatever +they might be--when Jeanne appeared, out of breath, red as a poppy, +with her eyes very wide open, and her arms dangling helplessly at +her sides--charming in her artless awkwardness. + +"What a state you are in, my dear child!" murmured Mademoiselle +Prefere, with maternal sweetness, as she arranged the girl's collar. + +Jeanne certainly did present an odd aspect. Her hair combed back, +and imperfectly held by a net from which loose curls were escaping; +her slender arms, sheathed down to the elbows in lustring sleeves; +her hands, which she did not seem to know what to do with, all red +with chillblains; her dress, much too short, revealing that she had +on stockings much too large for her, and shoes worn down at the heel; +and a skipping-rope tied round her waist in lieu of a belt,--all +combined to lend Mademoiselle Jeanne an appearance the reverse of +presentable. + +"Oh, you crazy girl!" sighed Mademoiselle Prefere, who now seemed no +longer like a mother, but rather like an elder sister. + +Then she suddenly left the room, gliding like a shadow over the +polished floor. + +I said to Jeanne, + +"Sit down, Jeanne, and talk to me as you would to a friend. Are you +not better satisfied here now than you were last year?" + +She hesitated; then answered with a good-natured smile of resignation, + +"Not much better." + +I asked her to tell me about her school life. She began at once to +enumerate all her different studies--piano, style, chronology of the +Kings of France, sewing, drawing, catechism, deportment... I could +never remember them all! She still held in her hands, all +unconsciously, the two ends of her skipping-rope, and she raised and +lowered them regularly while making her enumeration. Then all at +once she became conscious of what she was doing, blushed, stammered, +and became so confused that I had to renounce my desire to know the +full programme of study adopted in the Prefere Institution. + +After having questioned Jeanne on various matters, and obtained only +the vaguest of answers, I perceived that her young mind was totally +absorbed by the skipping-rope, and I entered bravely into that grave +subject. + +"So you have been skipping?" I said. "It is a very nice amusement, +but one that you must not exert yourself too much at; for any +excessive exercise of that kind might seriously injure your health, +and I should be very much grieved about it Jeanne--I should be very +much grieved, indeed!" + +"You are very kind, Monsieur," the young girl said, "to have come +to see me and talk to me like this. I did not think about thanking +you when I came in, because I was too much surprised. Have you seen +Madame de Gabry? Please tell me something about her, Monsieur." + +"Madame de Gabry," I answered, "is very well. I can only tell you +about her, Jeanne, what an old gardener once said of the lady of +the castle, his mistress, when somebody anxiously inquired about her: +'Madame is in her road.' Yes, Madame de Gabry is in her own road; +and you know, Jeanne, what a good road it is, and how steadily she +can walk upon it. I went out with her the other day, very, very +far away from the house; and we talked about you. We talked about +you, my child, at your mother's grave." + +"I am very glad," said Jeanne. + +And then, all at once, she began to cry. + +I felt too much reverence for those generous tears to attempt in any +way to check the emotion that had evoked them. But in a little +while, as the girl wiped her eyes, I asked her, + +"Will you not tell me, Jeanne, why you were thinking so much about +that skipping-rope a little while ago?" + +"Why, indeed I will, Monsieur. It was only because I had no right to +come into the parlour with a skipping-rope. You know, of course, +that I am past the age for playing at skipping. But when the servant +said there was an old gentleman...oh!...I mean...that a gentleman +was waiting for me in the parlour, I was making the little girls +jump. Then I tied the rope round my waist in a hurry, so that it +might not get lost. It was wrong. But I have not been in the habit +of having many people come to see me. And Mademoiselle Prefere +never lets us off if we commit any breach of deportment: so I know +she is going to punish me, and I am very sorry about it."... + +"That is too bad, Jeanne!" + +She became very grave, and said, + +"Yes, Monsieur, it is too bad; because when I am punished myself, I +have no more authority over the little girls." + +I did not at once fully understand the nature of this unpleasantness; +but Jeanne explained to me that, as she was charged by Mademoiselle +Prefere with the duties of taking care of the youngest class, of +washing and dressing the children, of teaching them how to behave, +how to sew, how to say the alphabet, of showing them how to play, +and, finally, of putting them to bed at the close of the day, she +could not make herself obeyed by those turbulent little folks on +the days she was condemned to wear a night-cap in the class-room, +or to eat her meals standing up, from a plate turned upside down. + +Having secretly admired the punishments devised by the Lady of the +Enchanted Pelerine, I responded: + +"Then, if I understand you rightly, Jeanne, you are at once a pupil +here and a mistress? It is a condition of existence very common +in the world. You are punished, and you punish?" + +"Oh, Monsieur!" she exclaimed. "No! I never punish!" + +"Then, I suspect," said I, "that your indulgence gets you many +scoldings from Mademoiselle Prefere?" + +She smiled, and blinked. + +Then I said to her that the troubles in which we often involve +ourselves, by trying to act according to our conscience and to do +the best we can, are never of the sort that totally dishearten and +weary us, but are, on the contrary, wholesome trials. This sort +of philosophy touched her very little. She even appeared totally +unmoved by my moral exhortations. But was not this quite natural +on her part?--and ought I not to have remembered that it is only +those no longer innocent who can find pleasure in the systems of +moralists?... I had at least good sense enough to cut short my +sermonising. + +"Jeanne," I said, "you were asking a moment ago about Madame de +Gabry. Let us talk about that Fairy of yours She was very prettily +made. Do you do any modelling in wax now?" + +"I have not a bit of wax," she exclaimed, wringing her hands--"no +wax at all!" + +"No wax!" I cried--"in a republic of busy bees?" + +She laughed. + +"And, then, you see, Monsieur, my FIGURINES, as you call them, are +not in Mademoiselle Prefere's programme. But I had begun to make +a very small Saint-George for Madame de Gabry--a tiny little +Saint-George, with a golden cuirass. Is not that right, Monsieur +Bonnard--to give Saint-George a gold cuirass?" + +"Quite right, Jeanne; but what became of it?" + +"I am going to tell you, I kept it in my pocket because I had no +other place to put it, and--and I sat down on it by mistake." + +She drew out of her pocket a little wax figure, which had been +squeezed out of all resemblance to human form, and of which the +dislocated limbs were only attached to the body by their wire +framework. At the sight of her hero thus marred, she was seized +at once with compassion and gaiety. The latter feeling obtained +the mastery, and she burst into a clear laugh, which, however, +stopped as suddenly as it had begun. + +Mademoiselle Prefere stood at the parlour door, smiling. + +"That dear child!" sighed the schoolmistress in her tenderest tone. +"I am afraid she will tire you. And, then, your time is so +precious!" + +I begged Mademoiselle Prefere to dismiss that illusion, and, +rising to take my leave, I took from my pocket some chocolate-cakes +and sweets which I had brought with me. + +"That is so nice!" said Jeanne; "there will be enough to go round +the whole school." + +The lady of the pelerine intervened. + +"Mademoiselle Alexandre," she said, "thank Monsieur for his +generosity." + +Jeanne looked at her for an instant in a sullen way; then, turning +to me, said with remarkable firmness, + +"Monsieur, I thank you for your kindness in coming to see me." + +"Jeanne," I said, pressing both her hands, "remain always a good, +truthful, brave girl. Good-bye." + +As she left the room with her packages of chocolate and +confectionery, she happened to strike the handles of her skipping- +rope against the back of a chair. Mademoiselle Prefere, full of +indignation, pressed both hands over her heart, under her pelerine; +and I almost expected to see her give up her scholastic ghost. + +When we found ourselves alone, she recovered her composure; and I +must say, without considering myself thereby flattered, that she +smiled upon me with one whole side of her face. + +"Mademoiselle," I said, taking advantage of her good humour, "I +noticed that Jeanne Alexandre looks a little pale. You know better +than I how much consideration and care a young girl requires at +her age. It would only be doing you an injustice by implication +to recommend her still more earnestly to your vigilance." + +These words seemed to ravish her with delight. She lifted her eyes, +as in ecstasy, to the paper spirals of the ceiling, and, clasping +her hands exclaimed, + +"How well these eminent men know the art of considering the most +trifling details!" + +I called her attention to the fact that the health of a young girl +was not a trifling detail, and made my farewell bow. But she +stopped me on the threshold to say to me, very confidentially, + +"You must excuse me, Monsieur. I am a woman, and I love gloy. I +cannot conceal from you the fact that I feel myself greatly honoured +by the presence of a Member of the Institute in my humble +institution." + +I duly excused the weakness of Mademoiselle Prefere; and, thinking +only of Jeanne, with the blindness of egotism, kept asking myself +all along the road, "What are we going to do with this child?" + + +June 3. + + +I had escorted to the Cimetiere de Marnes that day a very aged +colleague of mine who, to use the words of Goethe, had consented to +die. The great Goethe, whose own vital force was something +extraordinary, actually believed that one never dies until one really +wants to die--that is to say, when all those energies which resist +dissolution, and teh sum of which make up life itself, have been +totally destroyed. In other words, he believed that people only +die when it is no longer possible for them to live. Good! it is +merely a question of properly understanding one another; and when +fully comprehended, the magnificent idea of Goethe only brings +us quietly back to the song of La Palisse. + +Well, my excellent colleague had consented to die--thanks to several +successive attacks of extremely persuasive apoplexy--the last of +which proved unanswerable. I had been very little acquainted with +him during his lifetime; but it seems that I became his friend the +moment he was dead, for our colleagues assured me in a most serious +manner, with deeply sympathetic countenances, that I should act as +one of the pall-bearers, and deliver an address over the tomb. + +After having read very badly a short address I had written as well +as I could--which is not saying much for it--I started out for a +walk in the woods of Ville-d'Avray, and followed, without leaning +too much on the Captain's cane, a shaded path on which the sunlight +fell, through foliage, in little discs of gold. Never had the scent +of grass and fresh leaves,--never had the beauty of the sky over the +trees, and the serene might of noble tree contours, so deeply +affected my senses and all my being; and the pleasure I felt in that +silence, broken only by faintest tinkling sounds, was at once of +the senses and of the soul. + +I sat down in the shade of the roadside under a clump of young oaks. +And there I made a promise to myself not to die, or at least not +to consent to die, before I should be again able to sit down under +and oak, where--in the great peace of the open country--I could +meditate on the nature of the soul and the ultimate destiny of man. +A bee, whose brown breast-plate gleamed in the sun like armour of +old gold, came to light upon a mallow-flower close by me--darkly +rich in colour, and fully opened upon its tufted stalk. It was +certainly not the first time I had witnessed so common an incident; +but it was the first time that I had watched it with such +comprehensive and friendly curiosity. I could discern that there +were all sorts of sympathies between the insect and the flower--a +thousand singular little relationships which I had never before even +suspected. + +Satiated with nectar, the insect rose and buzzed away in a straight +line, while I lifted myself up as best I could, and readjusted myself +upon my legs. + +"Adieu!" I said to the flower and to the bee. "Adieu! Heaven grant +I may live long enough to discover the secret of your harmonies. I +am very tired. But man is so made that he can only find relaxation +from one kind of labour by taking up another. The flowers and +insects will give me that relaxation, with God's will, after my +long researches in philology and diplomatics. How full of meaning +is that old myth of Antaeus! I have touched the Earth and I am a +new man; and now at seventy years of age, new feelings of curiosity +take birth in my mind, even as young shoots sometimes spring up +from the hollow trunk of an aged oak!" + + +June 4. + + +I like to look out of my window at the Seine and its quays on those +soft grey mornings which give such an infinite tenderness of tint +to everything. I have seen that azure sky which flings so luminous +a calm over the Bay of Naples. But our Parisian sky is more +animated, more kindly, more spiritual. It smiles, threatens, +caresses--takes an aspect of melancholy or a look of merriment +like a human gaze. At this moment it is pouring down a very gentle +light on the men and beasts of the city as they accomplish their +daily tasks. Over there, on the opposite bank, the stevedores of +the Port Saint-Nicholas are unloading a cargo of cow's horns; +while two men standing on a gangway are tossing sugar-loaves from +one to the other, and thence to somebody in the hold of a steamer. +On the north quay, the cab-horses, standing in a line under the +shade of the plane-trees each with its head in a nose-bag, are +quietly munching their oats, while the rubicund drivers are drinking +at the counter of the wine-seller opposite, but all the while +keeping a sharp lookout for early customers. + +The dealers in second-hand books put their boxes on the parapet. +These good retailers of Mind, who are always in the open air, with +blouses loose to the breeze, have become so weatherbeaten by the +wind, the rain, the frost, the snow, the fog, and the great sun, +that they end by looking very much like the old statues of +cathedrals. They are all friends of mine, and I scarcely ever +pass by their boxes without picking out of one of them some old book +which I had always been in need of up to that very moment, without +any suspicion of the fact on my part. + +Then on my return home I have to endure the outcries of my +housekeeper, who accuses me of bursting all my pockets and filling +the house with waste paper to attract the rats. Therese is wise +about that, and it is because she is wise that I do not listen to +her; for in spite of my tranquil mien, I have always preferred the +folly of the passions to the wisdom of indifference. But just +because my own passions are not of that sort which burst out with +violence to devastate and kill, the common mind is not aware of +their existence. Nevertheless, I am greatly moved by them at times, +and it has more than once been my fate to lose my sleep for the +sake of a few pages written by some forgotten monk or printed by +some humble apprentice of Peter Schaeffer. And if these fierce +enthusiasms are slowly being quenched in me, it is only because +I am being slowly quenched myself. Our passions are ourselves. +My old books are Me. I am just as old and thumb-worn as they are. + +A light breeze sweeps away, along with the dust of the pavements, +the winged seeds of the plane trees, and the fragments of hay +dropped from the mouths of the horses. The dust is nothing remarkable +in itself; but as I watch it flying, I remember a moment in my +childhood when I watched just such a swirl of dust; and my old +Parisian soul is much affected by that sudden recollection. All +that I see from my window--that horizon which extends to the left +as far as the hills of Chaillot, and enables me to distinguish the +Arc de Triomphe like a die of stone, the Seine, river of glory, and +its bridges, the ash-trees of the terrace of the Tuileries, the +Louvre of the Renaissance, cut and graven like goldsmithwork; and +on my right, towards the Pont-Neuf (pons Lutetiae Novus dictus, +as it is named on old engravings), all the old and venerable part +of Paris, with its towers and spires:--all that is my life, it is +myself; and I should be nothing but for all those things which are +thus reflected in me through my thousand varying shades of thought, +inspiring me and animating me. That is why I love Paris with an +immense love. + +And nevertheless I am weary, and I know that there can be no rest +for me in the heart of this great city which thinks so much, which +has taught me to think, and which for ever urges me to think more. +And how avoid being exited among all these books which incessantly +tempt my curiosity without ever satisfying it? At one moment it +is a date I have to look for; at another it is the name of a place +I have to make sure of, or some quaint term of which it is important +to determine the exact meaning. Words?--why, yes! words. As a +philologist, I am their sovereign; they aer my subjects, and, like +a good king, I devote my whole life to them. But shall I not be able +to abdicate some day? I have an idea that there is somewhere or +other, quite far from here, a certain little cottage where I could +enjoy the quiet I so much need, while awaiting that day in which a +greater quiet--that which can be never broken--shall come to wrap +me all about. I dream of a bench before the threshold, and of +fields spreading away out of sight. But I must have a fresh smiling +young face beside me, to reflect and concentrate all that freshness +of nature. I could then imagine myself a grandfather, and all the +long void of my life would be filled.... + +I am not a violent man, and yet I become easily vexed, and all my +works have caused me quite as much pain as pleasure. And I do not +know how it is that I still keep thinking about that very conceited +and very inconsiderated impertinence which my young friend of the +Luxembourg took the liberty to utter about me some three months ago. +I do not call him "friend" in irony, for I love studious youth with +all it temerities and imaginative eccentricities. Still, my young +friend certainly went beyond all bounds. Master Ambroise Pare, who +was the first to attempt the ligature of arteries, and who, having +commenced his profession at a time when surgery was only performed +by quack barbers, nevertheless succeeded in lifting the science to +the high place it now occupies, was assailed in his old age by all +the young sawbones' apprentices. Being grossly abused during a +discussion by some young addlehead who might have been the best +son in the world, but who certainly lacked all sense of respect, +the old master answered him in his treatise De la Mumie, de la +Licorne, des Venins et de la Peste. "I pray him," said the great +man--"I pray him, that if he desire to make any contradictions to +my reply, he abandon all animosities, and treat the good old man +with gentleness." This answer seems admirable from the pen of +Ambroise Pare; but even had it been written by a village bonesetter, +grown grey in his calling, and mocked by some young stripling, it +would still be worthy of all praise. + +It might perhaps seem that my memory of the incident had been kept +alive only by a base feeling of resentment. I thought so myself at +first, and reproached myself for thus dwelling on the saying of a +boy who could not yet know the meaning of his own words. But my +reflections on this subject subsequently took a better course: +that is why I now note them down in my diary. I remembered that one +day when I was twenty years old (that was more than half a century +ago) I was walking about in that very same garden of the Luxembourg +with some comrades. We were talking about our old professors; and +one of us happened to name Monsieur Petit-Radel, an estimable and +learned man, who was the first to throw some light upon the origins +of early Etruscan civilisation, but who had been unfortunate +enough to prepare a chronological table of the lovers of Helen. We +all laughed a great deal about that chronological table; and I +cried out, "Petit-Radel is an ass, not in three letters, but in +twelve whole volumes!" + +This foolish speech of my adolescence was uttered too lightly to +be a weight on my conscience as an old man. May God kindly prove +to me some day that I never used an less innocent shaft of speech +in the battle of life! But I now ask myself whether I really +never wrote, at any time in my life, something quite as unconsciously +absurd as the chronological table of the lovers of Helen. The +progress of science renders useless the very books which have been +the greatest aids to that progress. As those works are no longer +useful, modern youth is naturally inclined to believe they never had +any value; it despises them, and ridicules them if they happen to +contain any superannuated opinion whatever. That is why, in my +twentieth year, I amused myself at the expense of Monsieur +Petit-Radel and his chronological table; and that was why, the +other day, at the Luxembourg, my young and irreverent friend... + +"Rentre en toi-meme, Octave, et cesse de te plaindre. Quoi! tu +veux qu'on t'epargne et n'as rien epargne!" [ "Look into thyself, +Octavius, and cease complaining. What! thou wouldst be spared, +and thou thyself hast spared none!"] + + +June 6. + + + +It was the first Thursday in June. I shut up my books and took my +leave of the holy abbot Droctoveus, who, being now in the enjoyment +of celestial bliss, cannot feel very impatient to behold his name +and works glorified on earth through the humble compilation being +prepared by my hands. Must I confess it? That mallow-plant I +saw visited by a bee the other day has been occupying my thoughts +much more than all the ancient abbots who ever bore croisers or +wore mitres. There is in one of Sprengel's books which I read in +my youth, at that time when I used to read in my youth, at that +time when I used to read anything and everything, some ideas about +"the loves of flowers" which now return to memory after having been +forgotten for half a century, and which to-day interest me so much +that I regret not to have devoted the humble capacities of my +mind to the study of insects and of plants. + +And only awhile ago my housekeeper surprised me at the kitchen window, +in the act of examining some wallflowers through a magnifying- +glass.... + +It was while looking for my cravat that I made these reflections. +But after searching to no purpose in a great number of drawers, I +found myself obliged, after all, to have recourse to my housekeeper. +Therese came limping in. + +"Monsieur," she said, "you ought to have told me you were going out, +and I would have given you your cravat!" + +"But Therese," I replied, "would it not be a great deal better to +put in some place where I could find it without your help?" + +Therese did not deign to answer me. + +Therese no longer allows me to arrange anything. I cannot even have +a handkerchief without asking her for it; and as she is deaf, +crippled, and, what is worse, beginning to lose her memory, I +languish in perpetual destitution. But she exercises her domestic +authority with such quiet pride that I do not feel the courage +to attempt a coup d'etat against her government. + +"My cravat! Therese!--do you hear?--my cravat! if you drive me wild +like this with your slow ways, it will not be a cravat I shall need, +but a rope to hang myself!" + +"You must be in a very great hurry, Monsieur," replied Therese. +"Your cravat is not lost. Nothing is ever lost in this house, +because I have charge of everything. But please allow me the time +at least to find it." + +"Yet here," I thought to myself--"here is the result of half a +century of devotedness and self-sacrifice!... Ah! if by any happy +chance this inexorable Therese had once in her whole life, only +once, failed in her duty as a servant--if she had ever been at fault +for one single instant, she could never have assumed this inflexible +authority over me, and I should at least have the courage to resist +her. But how can one resist virtue? The people who have no +weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them. +Just look at Therese, for example; she has not a single fault for +which you can blame her! She has no doubt of herself; nor of God, +nor of the world. She is the valiant woman, the wise virgin of +Scripture; others may know nothing about her, but I know her worth. +In my fancy I always see her carrying a lamp, a humble kitchen lamp, +illuminating the beams of some rustic roof--a lamp which will never +go out while suspended from that meagre arm of hers, scraggy and +strong as a vine-branch. + +"Therese, my cravat! Don't you know, wretched woman, that to-day +is the first Thursday in June, and that Mademoiselle Jeanne will +be waiting for me? The schoolmistress has certainly had the +parlour floor vigorously waxed: I am sure one can look at oneself +in it now; and it will be quite a consolation for me when I slip +and break my old bones upon it--which is sure to happen sooner +or later--to see my rueful countenance reflected in it as in a +looking-glass. Then taking for my model that amiable and admirable +hero whose image is carved upon the handle of Uncle Victor's +walking-stick, I will control myself so as not to make too ugly a +grimace.... See what a splendid sun! The quays are all gilded by +it, and the Seine smiles in countless little flashing wrinkles. +The city is gold: a dust-haze, blonde and gold-toned as a woman's +hair, floats above its beautiful contours.... Therese, my cravat!... +Ah! I can now comprehend the wisdom of that old Chrysal who used +to keep his neckbands in a big Plutarch. Hereafter I shall follow +his example by laying all my neckties away between the leaves +of the Acta Sanctorum." + +Therese let me talk on, and keeps looking for the necktie in silence. +I hear a gentle ringing at our door-bell. + +"Therese," I exclaim; "there is somebody ringing the bell! Give me +my cravat, and go to the door; or, rather, go to the door first, +and then, with the help of Heaven, you will give me my cravat. But +please do not stand there between the clothes-press and the door +like an old hack-horse between two saddles. + +Therese marched to the door as if advancing upon the enemy. My +excellent housekeeper becomes more inhospitable the older she grows. +Every stranger is an object of suspicion to her. According to her +own assertion, this disposition is the result of a long experience +with human nature. I had not the time to consider whether the same +experience on the part of another experimenter would produce the +same results. Maitre Mouche was waiting to see me in the ante-room. + +Maitre Mouche is still more yellow than I had believed him to be. +He wears blue glasses, and his eyes keep moving uneasily behind them, +like mice running about behind a screen. + +Maitre Mouche excuses himself for having intruded upon me at a moment +when.... He does not characterise the moment; but I think he means +to say a moment in which I happen to be without my cravat. It is +not my fault, as you very well know. Maitre Mouche, who does not +know, does not appear to be at all shocked, however. He is only +afraid that he might have dropped in at the wrong moment. I +succeeded in partially reassuring him at once upon that point. He +then tells me it is as guardian of Mademoiselle Alexandre that he +has come to talk with me. First of all, he desires that I shall +not hereafter pay any heed to those restrictions he had at first +deemed necessary to put upon the permit given to visit Mademoiselle +Jeanne at the boarding-school. Henceforth the establishment of +Mademoiselle Prefere will be open to me any day that I might choose +to call--between the hours of midday and four o'clock. Knowing +the interest I have taken in the young girl, he considers it his +duty to give me some information about the person to whom he has +confided his ward. Mademoiselle Prefere, whom he has known for +many years, is in possession of his utmost confidence. Mademoiselle +Prefere is, in his estimation, an enlightened person, of excellent +morals, and capable of giving excellent counsel. + +"Mademoiselle Prefer," he said to me, "has principles; and principles +are rare these days, Monsieur. Everything has been totally changed; +and this epoch of ours cannot compare with the preceding ones." + +"My stairway is a good example, Monsieur," I replied; "twenty-five +years ago it used to allow me to climb it without any trouble, and +now it takes my breath away, and wears my legs out before I have +climbed half a dozen steps. It has had its character spoiled. Then +there are those journals and books I used once to devour without +difficulty by moonlight: to-day, even in the brightest sunlight, +they mock my curiosity, and exhibit nothing but a blur of white and +black when I have not got my spectacles on. Then the gout has got +into my limbs. That is another malicious trick of the times!" + +"Not only that, Monsieur," gravely replied Maitre Mouche, "but what +is really unfortunate in our epoch is that no one is satisfied with +his position. From the top of society to the bottom, in every class, +there prevails a discontent, a restlessness, a love of comfort...." + +"Mon Dieu, Monsieur!" I exclaimed. "You think this love of comfort +is a sign of the times? Men have never had at any epoch a love of +discomfort. They have always tried to better their condition. This +constant effort produces constant changes, and the effort is always +going on--that is all there is about it!" + +"Ah! Monsieur," replied Maitre Mouche, "it is easy to see that you +live in your books--out of the business world altogether. You do +not see, as I see them, the conflicts of interest, the struggle +for money. It is the same effervescence in all minds, great or +small. The wildest speculations are being everywhere indulged in. +What I see around me simply terrifies me!" + +I wondered within myself whether Maitre Mouche had called upon me +only for the purpose of expressing his virtuous misanthropy; but +all at once I heard words of a more consoling character issue from +his lips. Maitre Mouche began to speak to me of Virginie Prefere +as a person worthy of respect, of esteem, and of sympathy,--highly +honourable, capable of great devotedness, cultivated, discreet,--able +to read aloud remarkably well, extremely modest, and skillful in +the art of applying blisters. Then I began to understand that he +had only been painting that dismal picture of universal corruption +in order the better to bring out, by contrast, the virtues of the +schoolmistress. I was further informed that the institution in the +Rue Demours was well patronised, prosperous, and enjoyed a high +reputation with the public. Maitre Mouche lifted up his hand--with +a black woollen glove on it--as if making oath to the truth of these +statements. Then he added: + +"I am enabled, by the very character of my profession, to know a +great deal about people. A notary is, to a certain extent, a +father-confessor. + +"I deemed it my duty, Monsieur, to give you this agreeable +information at the moment when a lucky chance enabled you to meet +Mademoiselle Prefere. There is only one thing more which I would +like to say. This lady--who is, of course, quite unaware of my +action in the matter--spoke to me of you the other day in terms +of deepest sympathy. I could only weaken their expression by +repeating them to you; and furthermore, I could not repeat them +without betraying, to a certain extent, the confidence of Mademoiselle +Prefere." + +"Do not betray it, Monsieur; do not betray it!" I responded. "To +tell you the truth, I had no idea that Mademoiselle Prefere knew +anything whatever about me. But since you have the influence of +an old friend with her, I will take advantage of your good will, +Monsieur, to ask you to exercise that influence in behalf of +Mademoiselle Jeanne Alexandre. The child--for she is still a +child--is overloaded with work. She is at once a pupil and a +mistress--she is overtasked. Besides, she is punished in petty +disgusting ways; and hers is one of those generous natures which +will be forced into revolt by such continual humiliation." + +"Alas!" replied Maitre Mouche, "she must be trained to take her part +in the struggle of life. One does not come into this world simply +to amuse oneself, and to do just what one pleases." + +"One comes into this world," I responded, rather warmly, "to enjoy +what is beautiful and what is good, and to do as one pleases, when +the things one wants to do are noble, intelligent, and generous. +An education which does not cultivate the will, is an education +that depraves the mind. It is a teacher's duty to teach the pupil +HOW to will." + +I perceived that Maitre Mouche began to think me a rather silly man. +With a great deal of quiet self-assurance, he proceeded: + +"You must remember, Monsieur, that the education of the poor has to +be conducted with a great deal of circumspection, and with a view to +that future state of dependence they must occupy in society. Perhaps +you are not aware that the late Noel Alexandre died a bankrupt, and +that his daughter is being educated almost by charity?" + +"Oh! Monsieur!" I exclaimed, "do not say it! To say it is to pay +oneself back, and then the statement ceases to be true." + +"The liabilities of the estate," continued the notary, "exceeded the +assets. But I was able to effect a settlement with the creditors +in favour of the minor." + +He undertook to explain matters in detail. I declined to listen to +these explanations, being incapable of understanding business methods +in general, and those of Maitre Mouche in particular. The notary +then took it upon himself to justify Mademoiselle Prefere's +educational system, and observed by way of conclusion, + +"It is not by amusing oneself that one can learn." + +"It is only by amusing oneself that one can learn," I replied. "The +whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural +curiosity of young minds for the purpose of satisfying it afterwards; +and curiosity itself can be vivid and wholesome only in proportion +as the mind is contented and happy. Those acquirements crammed by +force into the minds of children simply clog and stifle intelligence. +In order that knowledge be properly digested, it must have been +swallowed with a good appetite. I know Jeanne! If that child were +intrusted to my care, I should make of her--not a learned woman, for +I would look to her future happiness only--but a child full of +bright intelligence and full of life, in whom everything beautiful +in art or nature would awaken some gentle responsive thrill. I +would teach her to live in sympathy with all that is beautiful--comely +landscapes, the ideal scenes of poetry and history, the emotional +charm of noble music. I would make lovable to her everything I would +wish her to love. Even her needlework I would make pleasurable to +her, by a proper choice of fabrics, the style of embroideries, the +designs of lace. I would give her a beautiful dog, and a pony to +teach her how to manage animals; I would give her birds to take care +of, so that she could learn the value of even a drop of water and a +crumb of bread. And in order that she should have a still higher +pleasure, I would train her to find delight in exercising charity. +And inasmuch as none of us may escape pain, I should teach her that +Christian wisdom which elevates us above all suffering, and gives +a beauty even to grief itself. That is my idea of the right way to +educate a young girl." + +"I yield, Monsieur," replied Maitre Mouche, joining his black-gloved +hands together. + +And he rose. + +"Of course you understand," I remarked, as I went to the door with +him, "that I do not pretend for a moment to impose my educational +system upon Mademoiselle Prefere; it is necessarily a private one, +and quite incompatible with the organisation of even the best-managed +boarding schools. I only ask you to persuade her to give Jeanne +less work and more play, and not to punish her except in case of +absolute necessity, and to let her have as much freedom of mind +and body as the regulations of the institution permit." + +It was with a pale and mysterious smile that Maitre Mouche informed +me that my observations would be taken in good part, and should +receive all possible consideration. + +Therewith he made me a little bow, and took his departure, leaving +me with a peculiar feeling of discomfort and uneasiness. I have +met a great many strange characters in my time, but never any at +all resembling either this notary or this schoolmistress. + + +July 6. + + +Maitre Mouche has so much delayed me by his visit that I gave up +going to see Jeanne that day. Professional duties kept me very busy +for the rest of the week. Although at the age when most men retire +altogether from active life, I am still attached by a thousand ties +to the society in which I have lived. I have to reside at meetings +of academies, scientific congresses, assemblies of various learned +bodies. I am overburdened with honorary functions; I have seven of +these in one governmental department alone. The bureaux would be +very glad to get rid of them. But habit is stronger than both of us +together, and I continue to hobble up the stairs of various +government buildings. Old clerks point me out to each other as I go +by like a ghost wandering through the corridors. When one has become +very old one finds it extremely difficult to disappear. Nevertheless, +it is time, as the old song says, 'de prendre ma retraite et de +songer a faire un fin"--to retire on my pension and prepare myself +to die a good death. + +An old marchioness, who used to be a friend of Hevetius in her youth, +and whom I once met at my father's house when a very old woman, was +visited during her last sickness by the priest of her parish, who +wanted to prepare her to die. + +"Is that really necessary?" she asked. "I see everybody else manage +it perfectly well the first time." + +My father went to see her very soon afterwards and found her extremely +ill. + +"Good-evening, my friend!" she said, pressing his hand. "I am going +to see whether God improves upon acquaintance." + +So were wont to die the belles amies of the philosophers. Such +an end is certainly not vulgar nor impertinent, and such levities +are not of the sort that emanate from dull minds. Nevertheless, they +shock me. Neither my fears nor my hopes could accommodate themselves +to such a mode of departure. I would like to make mine with a +perfectly collected mind; and that is why I must begin to think, in +a year or two, about some way of belonging to myself; otherwise, I +should certainly risk.... But, hush! let Him not hear His name and +turn to look as He passes by! I can still lift my fagot without His +aid. + +...I found Jeanne very happy indeed. She told me that, on the +Thursday previous, after the visit of her guardian, Mademoiselle +Prefere had set her free from the ordinary regulations and lightened +her tasks in several ways. Since that lucky Thursday she could walk +in the garden--which only lacked leaves and flowers--as much as +she liked; and she had been given facilities to work at her +unfortunate little figure of Saint-George. + +She said to me, with a smile, + +"I know very well that I owe all of this to you." + +I tried to talk with her about other matters, but I remarked that +she could not attend to what I was saying, in spite of her effort +to do so. + +"I see you are thinking about something else," I said. "Well, tell +me what it is; for, if you do not, we shall not be able to talk to +each other at all, which would be very unworthy of both of us." + +She answered, + +"Oh! I was really listening to you, Monsieur; but it is true that I +was thinking about something else. You will excuse me, won't you? +I could not help thinking that Mademoiselle Prefere must like you +very, very much indeed, to have become so good to me all of a +sudden." + +Then she looked at me in an odd, smiling, frightened way, which made +me laugh. + +"Does that surprise you?" I asked. + +"Very much," she replied. + +"Please tell me why?" + +"Because I can see no reason, no reason at all...but there!...no +reason at all why you should please Mademoiselle Prefere so much." + +"So, then, you think I am very displeasing, Jeanne?" + +She bit her lips, as if to punish them for having made a mistake; +and then, in a coaxing way, looking at me with great soft eyes, gentle +and beautiful as a spaniel's, she said, + +"I know I said a foolish think; but, still, I do not see any reason +why you should be so pleasing to Mademoiselle Prefere. And, +nevertheless, you seem to please her a great deal--a very great deal. +She called me one day, and asked me all sorts of questions about +you." + +"Really?" + +"Yes; she wanted to find out all about your house. Just think! she +even asked me how old your servant was!" + +And Jeanne burst out laughing. + +"Well, what do you think about it?" I asked. + +She remained a long while with her eyes fixed on the worn-out cloth +of her shoes, and seemed to be thinking very deeply. Finally, +looking up again, she answered, + +"I am distrustful. Isn't it very natural to feel uneasy about what +one cannot understand; I know I am foolish; but you won't be offended +with me, will you?" + +"Why, certainly not, Jeanne. I am not a bit offended with you." + +I must acknowledge that I was beginning to share her surprise; and I +began to turn over in my old head the singular thought of this young +girl--"One is uneasy about what one cannot understand." + +But, with a fresh burst of merriment, she cried out, + +"She asked me...guess! I will give you a hundred guesses--a thousand +guesses. You give it up?... She asked me if you liked good eating." + +"And how did you receive this shower of interrogations, Jeanne?" + +"I replied, 'I don't know, Mademoiselle.' And Mademoiselle then said +to me, 'You are a little fool. The least details of the life of an +eminent man ought to be observed. Please to know, Mademoiselle, that +Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard is one of the glories of France!'" + +"Stuff!" I exclaimed. "And what did YOU think about it, +Mademoiselle?" + +"I thought that Mademoiselle Prefere was right. But I don't care at +all...(I know it is naughty what I am going to say)...I don't care +a bit, not a bit, whether Mademoiselle Prefere is or is not right +about anything." + +"Well, then, content yourself, Jeanne, Mademoiselle Prefere was not +right." + +"Yes, yes, she was quite right that time; but I wanted to love +everybody who loved you--everybody without exception--and I cannot +do it, because it would never be possible for me to love Mademoiselle +Prefere." + +"Listen, Jeanne," I answered, very seriously, "Mademoiselle Prefere +has become good to you; try now to be good to her." + +She answered sharply, + +"It is very easy for Mademoiselle Prefere to be good to me, and it +would be very difficult indeed for me to be good to her." + +I then said, in a still more serious tone: + +"My child, the authority of a teacher is sacred. You must consider +your schoolmistress as occupying the place to you of the mother whom +you lost." + +I had scarcely uttered this solemn stupidity when I bitterly regretted +it. The child turned pale, and the tears sprang to her eyes. + +"Oh, Monsieur!" she cried, "how could you say such a thing--YOU? +You never knew mamma!" + +Ay, just Heaven! I did know her mamma. And how indeed could I have +been foolish enough to have said what I did? + +She repeated, as if to herself: + +"Mamma! my dear mamma! my poor mamma!" + +A lucky chance prevented me from playing the fool any further. I do +not know how it happened at that moment I looked as if I was going +to cry. At my age one does not cry. It must have been a bad cough +which brought the tears into my eyes. But, anyhow, appearances were +in my favour. Jeanne was deceived by them. Oh! what a pure and +radiant smile suddenly shone out under her beautiful wet eyelashes-- +like sunshine among branches after a summer shower! We took each +other by the hand and sat a long while without saying a word-- +absolutely happy. Those celestial harmonies which I once thought +I heard thrilling through my soul while I knelt before that tomb +to which a saintly woman had guided me, suddenly awoke again in my +heart, slow-swelling through the blissful moments with infinite +softness. Doubtless the child whose hand pressed my own also heard +them; and then, elevated by their enchantment above the material +world, the poor old man and the artless young girl both knew that a +tender ghostly Presence was making sweetness all about them. + +"My child," I said at last, "I am very old, and many secrets of life, +which you will only learn little by little, have been revealed to me. +Believe me, the future is shaped out of the past. Whatever you can +do to live contentedly here, without impatience and without fretting, +will help you live some future day in peace and joy in your own home. +Be gentle, and learn how to suffer. When one suffers patiently one +suffers less. If you should be badly treated, Madame de Gabry and +I would both consider ourselves badly treated in your person."... + +"Is your health very good indeed, dear Monsieur?" + +It was Mademoiselle Prefere, approaching stealthily behind us, who +had asked the question with a peculiar smile. My first idea was to +tell her to go to the devil; my second, that her mouth was as little +suited for smiling as a frying-pan for musical purposes; my third +was to answer her politely and assure her that I hoped she was very +well. + +She sent the young girl out to take a walk in the garden; then, +pressing one hand upon her pelerine and extending the other towards +the Tableau d'Honneur, she showed me the name of Jeanne Alexandre +written at the head of the list in large text. + +"I am very much pleased," I said to her, "to find that you are +satisfied with the behaviour of that child. Nothing could delight +me more; and I am inclined to attribute this happy result to your +affectionate vigilance. I have taken the liberty to send you a few +books which I think may serve both to instruct and to amuse young +girls. You will be able to judge by glancing over them whether +they are adapted to the perusal of Mademoiselle Alexandre and her +companions." + +The gratitude of the schoolmistress not only overflowed in words, +but seemed about to take the form of tearful sensibility. In order +to change the subject I observed, + +"What a beautiful day this is!" + +"Yes," she replied; "and if this weather continues, those dear +children will have a nice time for their enjoyment." + +"I suppose you are referring to the holidays. But Mademoiselle +Alexandre, who has no relatives, cannot go away. What in the world +is she going to do all alone in this great big house?" + +"Oh, we will do everything we can to amuse her.... I will take her +to the museums and---" + +She hesitated, blushed, and continued, + +"--and to your house, if you will permit me." + +"Why of course!" I exclaimed. "That is a first-rate idea." + +We separated very good friends with one another. I with her, because +I had been able to obtain what I desired; she with me, for no +appreciable motive--which fact, according to Plato, elevated her +into the highest rank of the Hierarchy of Souls. + +...And nevertheless it is not without a presentiment of evil that I +find myself on the point of introducing this person into my house. +And I would be very glad indeed to see Jeanne in charge of anybody +else rather than of her. Maitre Mouche and Mademoiselle Prefere +are characters whom I cannot at all understand. I never can imagine +why they say what they do say, nor why they do what they do; they +have a mysterious something in common which makes me feel uneasy. +As Jeanne said to me a little while ago: "One is uneasy about +what one cannot understand." + +Alas! at my age one has learned only too well how little sincerity +there is in life; one has learned only too well how much one loses +by living a long time in this world; and one feels that one can no +longer trust any except the young. + + +August 12. + + +I waited for them. In fact, I waited for them very impatiently. I +exerted all my powers of insinuation and of coaxing to induce Therese +to receive them kindly; but my powers in this direction are very +limited. They came. Jeanne was neater and prettier than I had ever +expected to see her. She has not, it is true, anything approaching +the charm of her mother. But to-day, for the first time, I observed +that she has a pleasing face; and a pleasing face is of great +advantage to a woman in this world. I think that her hat was a +little on one side; but she smiled, and the City of Books was all +illuminated by that smile. + +I watched Therese to see whether the rigid manners of the old +housekeeper would soften a little at the sight of the young girl. I +saw her turning her lustreless eyes upon Jeanne; I saw her long +wrinkled face, her toothless mouth, and that pointed chin of hers-- +like the chin of some puissant old fairy. And that was all I could +see. + +Mademoiselle Prefere made her appearance all in blue--advanced, +retreated, skipped, tripped, cried out, sighed, cast her eyes down, +rolled her eyes up, bewildered herself with excuses--said she dared +not, and nevertheless dared--said she would never dare again, and +nevertheless dared again--made courtesies innumerable--made, in +short, all the fuss she could. + +"What a lot of books!" she screamed. "And have you really read them +all, Monsieur Bonnard?" + +"Alas! I have," I replied, "and that is just the reason that I do not +know anything; for there is not a single one of those books which +does not contradict some other book; so that by the time one has +read them all one does not know what to think about anything. That +is just my condition, Madame." + +Thereupon she called Jeanne for the purpose of communicating her +impressions. But Jeanne was looking out of the window. + +"How beautiful it is!" she said to us. "How I love to see the river +flowing! It makes you think about all kinds of things." + +Mademoiselle Prefere having removed her hat and exhibited a forehead +tricked out with blonde curls, my housekeeper sturdily snatched up +the hat at once, with the observation that she did not like to see +people's clothes scattered over the furniture. Then she approached +Jeanne and asked her for her "things," calling her "my little lady!" +Where-upon the little lady, giving up her cloak and hat, exposed +to view a very graceful neck and a lithe figure, whose outlines were +beautifully relieved against the great glow of the open window; +and I could have wished that some one else might have seen her at +that moment--some one very different from an aged housekeeper, a +schoolmistress frizzled like a sheep, and this old humbug of an +archivist and paleographer. + +"So you are looking at the Seine," I said to her. "See how it +sparkles in the sun!" + +"Yes," she replied, leaning over the windowbar, "it looks like a +flowing of fire. But see how nice and cool it looks on the other +side over there under the shadow of the willows! That little spot +there pleases me better than all the rest." + +"Good!" I answered. "I see that the river has a charm for you. How +would you like, with Mademoiselle Prefere's permission, to make a +trip to Saint-Cloud? We should certainly be in time to catch +the steamboat just below the Pont-Royal." + +Jeanne was delighted with my suggestion, and Mademoiselle Prefere +willing to make any sacrifice. But my housekeeper was not at all +willing to let us go off so unconcernedly. She summoned me into +the dining-room, whither I followed her in fear and trembling. + +"Monsieur," she said to me as soon as we found ourselves alone, "you +never think about anything, and it is always I who have to think +about everything. Luckily for you I have a good memory." + +I did not think that it was a favourable moment for any attempt to +dispel this wild illusion. She continued: + +"So you were going off without saying a word to me about what this +little lady likes to eat? At her age one does not know anything, +one does not care about anything in particular, one eats like a +bird. You yourself, Monsieur, are very difficult to please; but +at least you know what is good: it is very different with these +young people--they do not know anything about cooking. It is often +the very best thing which they think the worst, and what is bad +seems to them good, because their stomachs are not quite formed +yet--so that one never knows just what to do for them. Tell me if +the little lady would like a pigeon cooked with green peas, and +whether she is fond of vanilla ice-cream." + +"My good Therese," I answered, "just do whatever you think best, and +whatever that may be I am sure it will be very nice. Those ladies +will be quite contented with our humble ordinary fare." + +Therese replied, very dryly, + +"Monsieur, I am asking you about the little lady: she must not +leave this house without having enjoyed herself a little. As for +that old frizzle-headed thing, if she doesn't like my dinner she +can suck her thumbs. I don't care what she likes!" + +My mind being thus set at rest, I returned to the City of Books, +where Mademoiselle Prefere was crocheting as calmly as if she were +at home. I almost felt inclined myself to think she was. She did +not take up much room, it is true, in the angle of the window. But +she had chosen her chair and her footstool so well that those +articles of furniture seemed to have been made expressly for her. + +Jeanne, on the other hand, devoted her attention to the books and +pictures--gazing at them in a kindly, expressive, half-sad way, as +if she were bidding them an affectionate farewell. + +"Here," I said to her, "amuse yourself with this book, which I am +sure you cannot help liking, because it is full of beautiful +engravings." And I threw open before her Vecellio's collection of +costume-designs--not the commonplace edition, by your leave, so +meagrely reproduced by modern artists, but in truth a magnificent +and venerable copy of that editio princeps which is noble as +those noble dames who figure upon its yellowed leaves, made +beautiful by time. + +While turning over the engravings with artless curiousity, Jeanne +said to me, + +"We were talking about taking a walk; but this is a great journey +you are making me take. And I would like to travel very, very far +away!" + +"In that case, Mademoiselle," I said to her, "you must arrange +yourself as comfortably as possible for travelling. But you are now +sitting on one corner of your chair, so that the chair is standing +upon only one leg, and that Vecellio must tire your knees. Sit +down comfortably; put your chair on its four feet, and put your +book on the table." + +She obeyed me with a laugh. + +I watched her. She cried out suddenly, + +"Oh, come look at this beautiful costume!" (It was that of the wife +of a Doge of Venice.) "How noble it is! What magnificent ideas it +gives one of that life! Oh, I must tell you--I adore luxury!" + +"You must not express such thoughts as those, Mademoiselle," said +the schoolmistress, lifting up her little shapeless nose from her +work. + +"Nevertheless, it was a very innocent utterance," I replied. "There +are splendid souls in whom the love of splendid things is natural +and inborn." + +The little shapeless nose went down again. + +"Mademoiselle Prefere likes luxury too," said Jeanne; "she cuts out +paper trimmings and shades for the lamps. It is economical luxury; +but it is luxury all the same." + +Having returned to the subject of Venice, we were just about to make +the acquaintance of a certain patrician lady attired in an embroidered +dalmatic, when I heard the bell ring. I thought it was some peddler +with his basket; but the gate of the City of Books opened, and...Well, +Master Sylvestre Bonnard, you were wishing awhile ago that the grace +of your protegee might be observed by some other eyes than old +withered ones behind spectacles. Your wishes have been fulfilled +in a most unexpected manner, and a voice cries out to you as to the +imprudent Theseus, + +"Craignez, Seigneur, craignez que le Ciel rigoureux + Ne vous Haisse assez pour exaucer vos voeux! + Souvent dans sa colere il recoit nos victimes, + Ses presents sont souvent la peine de nos crimes." + +["Beware my lord! Beware lest stern Heaven + hate you enough to hear your prayers! + Often 'tis in wrath that Heaven receives our sacrifices: + its gifts are often the punishment of our crimes."] + +The gate of the City of Books had opened, and a handsome young man +made his appearance, ushered in by Therese. That good old soul only +knows how to open the door for people and to shut it behind them; +she has no idea whatever of the tact requisite for the waiting- +room and for the parlour. It is not in her nature either to make +any announcements or to make anybody wait. She either throws people +out on the lobby, or simply pitches them at your head. + +And here is this handsome young man already inside; and I cannot +really take the girl at once and hide her like a secret treasure in +the next room. I wait for him to explain himself; he does it without +the least embarrassment; but it seems to me that he has already +observed the young girl who is still bending over the table looking +at Vecellio. As I observe the young man it occurs to me that I have +seen him somewhere before, or else I must be very much mistaken. +His name is Gelis. That is a name which I have heard somewhere,--I +can't remember where. At all events, Monsieur Gelis (since there +is a Gelis) is a fine-looking young fellow. He tells me that this +is his third class-year at the Ecole des Chartes, and that he has +been working for the past fifteen or eighteen months upon his +graduation thesis, the subject of which is the Condition of the +Benedictine Abbeys in 1700. He has just read my works upon the +"Monasticon"; and he is convinced that he cannot terminate this +thesis successfully without my advice, to begin with, and in the +second place without a certain manuscript which I possess, and +which is nothing less than the "Register of the Accounts of the +Abbey of Citeaux from 1683 to 1704." + +Having thus explained himself, he hands me a letter of introduction +bearing the signature of one of the most illustrious of my +colleagues. + +Good! Now I know who he is! Monsieur Gelis is the very same young +man who last year under the chestnut-trees called me an idiot! And +while unfolding his letter of introduction I think to myself: + +"Aha! my unlucky youth, you are very far from suspecting that I +overheard what you said, and that I know what you think of me--or, +at least, what you did think of me that day, for these young minds +are so fickle? I have got you now, my friend! You have fallen into +the lion's den, and so unexpectedly, in good sooth, that the +astonished old lion does not know what to do with his prey. But +come now, old lion! do not act like an idiot! Is it not possible +that you were an idiot? If you are not one now, you certainly +were one! You were a fool to have been listening to Monsieur Gelis +at the foot of the statue of Marguerite de Valois; you were doubly +a fool to have heard what he said; and you were trebly a fool not +to have forgotten what it would have been much better never to have +heard." + +Having thus scolded the old lion, I exhorted him to show clemency. +He did not appear to require much coaxing, and gradually became so +good-natured that he had some difficulty in restraining himself +from bursting out into joyous roarings. From the way in which I +had read my colleague's letter one might have supposed me a man who +did not know his alphabet. I took a long while to read it; and +Monsieur Gelis might have become very tired under different +circumstances; but he was watching Jeanne, and endured the trial +with exemplary patience. Jeanne occasionally turned her face in +our direction. Well you could not expect a person to remain +perfectly motionless, could you? Mademoiselle Prefere was arranging +her curls, and her bosom occasionally swelled with little sighs. +It may be observed that I have myself often been honoured with +those little sighs. + +"Monsieur," I said, as I folded up the letter, "I shall be very happy +to be of any service to you. You are occupied with researches in +which I myself have always felt a very lively interest. I have +done all that lay in my power. I know, as you do--and still better +than you can know--how much there remains to do. The manuscript +you asked for is at your disposal; you may take it home with you, +but it is not a manuscript of the smallest kind, and I am afraid---" + +"Oh, Monsieur," said Gelis, "big books have never been able to make +me afraid of them." + +I begged the young man to wait for me, and I went into the next room +to get the Register, which I could not find at first, and which I +almost despaired of finding, as I discerned, from certain familiar +signs, that Therese had been setting the room in order. But the +Register was so big and so heavy that, luckily for me, Therese had +not been able to put it in order as she had doubtless wished to do. +I could scarcely lift it up myself; and I had the pleasure of +finding it quite as heavy as I could have hoped. + +"Wait, my boy," I said, with a smile which must have been very +sarcastic--"wait! I am going to give you something to do which +will break your arms first, and afterwards your head. That will +be the first vengeance of Sylvestre Bonnard. Later on we shall see +what else there is to be done." + +When I returned to the City of Books I heard Monsieur Gelis and +Mademoiselle Jeanne chatting--chatting together, if you please! as +if they were the best friends in the world. Mademoiselle Prefere, +being full of decorum, did not say anything; but the other two were +chatting like birds. And what about? About the blond tint used by +Venetian painters! Yes, about the "Venetian blond." That little +serpent of a Gelis was telling Jeanne the secret of the dye with +which, according to the best authorities, the women of Titian and +of Veronese tinted their hair. And Mademoiselle Jeanne was expressing +her opinion very prettily about the honey tint and the golden tint. +I understood that that scamp of a Vecellio was responsible--that +they had been bending over the book together, and that they had been +admiring either that Doge's wife we had been looking at awhile before, +or some other patrician woman of Venice. + +Never mind! I appeared with my enormous old book, thinking that +Gelis was going to make a grimace. It was as much as one could have +asked a porter to carry, and my arms were stiff merely with lifting +it. But the young man caught it up like a feather, and slipped it +under his arm with a smile. Then he thanked me with that sort of +brevity which I like, reminded me that he had need of my advice, and, +having made an appointment to meet me another day, took his departure +after bowing to us with the most perfect self-possession conceivable. + +"He seems quite a decent lad," I said. + +Jeanne turned over a few more pages of Vecellio, and made no answer. + +"Aha!" I thought to myself.... And then we went to Saint-Cloud. + + +September-December. + + +The regularity with which visit succeeded visit to the old man's +house thereafter made me feel very grateful to Mademoiselle Prefere, +who succeeded at last in winning her right to occupy a special corner +in the City of Books. She now says "MY chair," "MY footstool," +"MY pigeon hole." Her pigeon hole is really a small shelf properly +belonging to the poets of La Champagne, whom she expelled therefrom +in order to obtain a lodging for her work-bag. She is very amiable, +and I must really be a monster not to like her. I can only endure +her--in the severest signification of the word. But what would one +not endure for Jeanne's sake? Her presence lends to the City of +Books a charm which seems to hover about it even after she has gone. +She is very ignorant; but she is so finely gifted that whenever I +show her anything beautiful I am astounded to find that I had never +really seen it before, and that it is she who makes me see it. I +have found it impossible so far to make her follow some of my ideas, +but I have often found pleasure in following the whimsical and +delicate course of her own. + +A more practical man than I would attempt to teach her to make herself +useful; but is not the capacity of being amiable a useful think in +life? Without being pretty, she charms; and the power to charm is +perhaps, after all, worth quite as much as the ability to darn +stockings. Furthermore, I am not immortal; and I doubt whether she +will have become very old when my notary (who is not Maitre Mouche) +shall read to her a certain paper which I signed a little while ago. + +I do not wish that any one except myself should provide for her, +and give her her dowry. I am not, however, very rich, and the +paternal inheritance did not gain bulk in my hands. One does not +accumulate money by poring over old texts. But my books--at the +price which such noble merchandise fetches to-day--are worth +something. Why, on that shelf there are some poets of the sixteenth +century for which bankers would bid against princes! And I think +that those "Heures" of Simon Vostre would not be readily overlooked +at the Hotel Sylvestre any more than would those Preces Piae +compiled for the use of Queen Claude. I have taken great pains to +collect and to preserve all those rare and curious editions which +people the City of Books; and for a long time I used to believe that +they were as necessary to my life as air and light. I have loved +them well, and even now I cannot prevent myself from smiling at them +and caressing them. Those morocco bindings are so delightful to the +eye! These old vellums are so soft to the touch! There is not a +single one among those books which is not worthy, by reason of some +special merit, to command the respect of an honourable man. What +other owner would ever know how to dip into hem in the proper way? +Can I be even sure that another owner would not leave them to decay +in neglect, or mutilate them at the prompting of some ignorant whim? +Into whose hands will fall that incomparable copy of the "Histoire +de l'Abbaye de Saint-Germain-des-Pres," on the margins of which the +author himself, in the person of Jacques Bouillard, made such +substantial notes in his own handwriting?... Master Bonnard, you +are an old fool! Your housekeeper--poor soul!--is nailed down upon +her bed with a merciless attack of rheumatism. Jeanne is to come +with her chaperon, and, instead of thinking how you are going to +receive them, you are thinking about a thousand stupidities. +Sylvestre Bonnard, you will never succeed at anything in this world, +and it is I myself who tell you so! + +And at this very moment I catch sight of them from my window, as they +get out of the omnibus. Jeanne leaps down lie a kitten; but +Mademoiselle Prefere intrusts herself to the strong arm of the +conductor, with the shy grace of a Virginia recovering after the +shipwreck, and this time quite resigned to being saved. Jeanne +looks up, sees me, laughs, and Mademoiselle Prefere has to prevent +her from waving her umbrella at me as a friendly signal. There is +a certain stage of cvilisation to which Mademoiselle Jeanne never +can be brought. You can teach her all the arts if you like (it is +not exactly to Mademoiselle Prefere that I am now speaking); but you +will never be able to teach her perfect manners. As a charming child +she makes the mistake of being charming only in her own way. Only +an old fool like myself could forgive her pranks. As for young +fools--and there are several of them still to be found--I do not know +what they would think about it; and what they might think is none +of my business. Just look at her running along the pavement, wrapped +in her cloak, with her hat tilted back on her head, and her feather +fluttering in the wind, like a schooner in full rig! And really she +has a grace of poise and motion which suggests a fine sailing-vessel-- +so much so, indeed, that she makes me remember seeing one day, when +I was at Havre.... But, Bonnard, my friend, how many times is it +necessary to tell you that your housekeeper is in bed, and that you +must go and open the door yourself? + +Open, Old Man Winter! 'tis Spring who rings the bell. + +It is Jeanne herself--Jeanne is all flushed like a rose. Mademoiselle +Prefere, indignant and out of breath, has still another whole flight +to climb before reaching our lobby. + +I explained the condition of my housekeeper, and proposed that we +should dine at a restaurant. But Therese--all-powerful still, even +upon her sick-bed--decided that we should dine at home, whether we +wanted to or no. Respectable people, in her opinion, never dined +at restaurants. Moreover, she had made all necessary arrangements-- +the dinner had been bought; the concierge would cook it. + +The audacious Jeanne insisted upon going to see whether the old woman +wanted anything. As you might suppose, she was sent back to the +parlour with short shrift, but not so harshly as I had feared. + +"If I want anybody to do anything for me, which, thank God, I do not," +Therese had replied, "I would get somebody less delicate and dainty +than you are. What I want is rest. That is a merchandise which is +not sold at fairs under the sign of 'Motus with finger on lip.' Go +and have your fun, and don't stay here--for old age might be +catching." + +Jeanne, after telling us what she had said, added that she liked very +much to hear old Therese talk. Whereupon Mademoiselle Prefere +reproached her for expressing such unladylike tastes. + +I tried to excuse her by citing the example of Moliere. Just at that +moment it came to pass that, while climbing the ladder to get a +book, she upset a whole shelf-row. There was a heavy crash; and +Mademoiselle Prefere, being, of course, a very delicate person, +almost fainted. Jeanne quickly followed the books to the foot of +the ladder. she made one think of a kitten suddenly transformed into +a woman, catching mice which had been transformed into old books. +While picking them up, she found one which happened to interest her, +and she began to read it, squatting down upon her heels. It was the +"Prince Grenouille," she told us. Mademoiselle Prefere took occasion +to complain that Jeanne had so little taste for poetry. It was +impossible to get her to recite Casimir Delavigne's poem on the death +of Joan of Arc without mistakes. It was the very most she could do +to learn "Le Petit Savoyard." The schoolmistress did not think that +any one should read the "Prince Grenouille" before learning by heart +the stanzas to Duperrier; and, carried away by her enthusiasm, she +began to recite them in a voice sweeter than the bleating of a sheep: + +" Ta douleur, Duperrier, sera donc eternelle, + Et les tristes discours + Que te met en l'esprit l'amitie paternelle + L'augmenteront toujours; + +. . . . . . . . . + +" Je sais de quels appas son enfance etait pleine, + Et n'ai pas entrepris, + Injurieux ami, de consoler ta peine + Avecque son mepris." + +Then in ecstacy, she exclaimed, + +"How beautiful that is! What harmony! How is it possible for any +one not to admire such exquisite, such touching verses! But why +did Malherbe call that poor Monsieur Duperrier his injurieux ami +at a time when he had been so severely tied by the death of his +daughter? Injurieux ami--you must acknowledge that the term is +very harsh." + +I explained to this poetical person that the phrase "Injurieux ami," +which shocked her so much, was in apposition, etc. etc. What I said, +however, had so little effect towards clearing her head that she was +seized with a severe and prolonged fit of sneezing. Meanwhile it +was evident that the history of "Prince Grenouille" had proved +extremely funny; for it was all that Jeanne could do, as she crouched +down there on the carpet, to keep herself from bursting into a wild +fit of laughter. But when she had finished with the prince and +princess of the story, and the multitude of their children, she +assumed a very suppliant expression, and begged me as a great favour +to allow her to put on a white apron and go to the kitchen to help +in getting the dinner ready. + +"Jeanne," I replied, with the gravity of a master, "I think that if +it is a question of breaking plates, knocking off the edges of +dishes, denting all the pans, and smashing all the skimmers, the +person whom Therese has set to work in the kitchen already will be +able to perform her task without assistance; for it seems to me at +this very moment I can hear disastrous noises in that kitchen. But +anyhow, Jeanne, I will charge you with the duty of preparing the +dessert. So go and get your white apron; I will tie it on for you." + +Accordingly, I solemnly knotted the linen apron about her waist; and +she rushed into the kitchen, where she proceeded at once--as we +discovered later on--to prepare various dishes unknown to Vatel, +unknown even to that great Careme who began his treatise upon pieces +montees with these words: "The Fine Arts are five in number: +Painting, Music, Poetry, Sculpture, and Architecture--whereof the +principal branch is Confectionery." But I had no reason to be pleased +with this little arrangement--for Mademoiselle Prefere, on finding +herself alone with me, began to act after a fashion which filled me +with frightful anxiety. She gazed upon me with eyes full of tears +and flames, and uttered enormous sighs. + +"Oh, how I pity you!" she said. "A man like you--a man so superior +as you are--having to live alone with a coarse servant (for she is +certainly coarse, that is incontestable)! How cruel such a life +must be! You have need of repose--you have need of comfort, of +care, of every kind of attention; you might fall sick. And yet +there is no woman who would not deem it an honour to bear your name, +and to share your existence. No, there is none; my own heart tells +me so." + +And she squeezed both hands over that heart of hers--always so ready +to fly away. + +I was driven almost to distraction. I tried to make Mademoiselle +Prefere comprehend that I had no intention whatever of changing my +habits at so advanced an age, and that I found just as much +happiness in life as my character and my circumstances rendered +possible. + +"No, you are not happy!" she cried. "You need to have always beside +you a mind capable of comprehending your own. Shake off your +lethargy, and cast your eyes about you. Your professional connections +are of the most extended character, and you must have charming +acquaintances. One cannot be a Member of the Institute without going +into society. See, judge, compare. No sensible woman would refuse +you her hand. I am a woman, Monsieur; my instinct never deceives +me--there is something within me which assures me that you would find +happiness in marriage. Women are so devoted, so loving (not all, of +course, but some)! And, then, they are so sensitive to glory. +Remember that at your age one has need, like Oedipus, of an Egeria! +Your cook is no longer able--she is deaf, she is infirm. If anything +should happen to you at night! Oh! it makes me shudder even to think +of it!" + +And she really shuddered--she closed her eyes, clenched her hands, +stamped on the floor. Great was my dismay. With awful intensity +she resumed, + +"Your health--your dear health! The health of a Member of the +Institute! How joyfully I would shed the very last drop of my blood +to preserve the life of a scholar, of a litterateur, of a man of +worth. And any woman who would not do as much, I should despise her! +Let me tell you, Monsieur--I used to know the wife of a great +mathematician, a man who used to fill whole note-books with +calculations--so many note-books that they filled all the cupboards +in the house. He had heart-disease, and he was visibly pining away. +And I saw that wife of his, sitting there beside him, perfectly calm! +I could not endure it. I said to her one day, 'My dear, you have no +heart! If I were in your place I should...I should...I do not know +what I should do!'" + +She paused for want of breath. My situation was terrible. As for +telling Mademoiselle Prefere what I really thought about her advice-- +that was something which I could not even dream of daring to do. +For to fall out with her was to lose the chance of seeing Jeanne. +So I resolved to take the matter quietly. In any case, she was in +my house: that consideration helped me to treat her with something +of courtesy. + +"I am very old, Mademoiselle," I answered her, "and I am very much +afraid that your advice comes to me rather late in life. Still, I +will think about it. In the meanwhile let me beg of you to be +calm. I think a glass of eau sucree would do you good!" + +To my great surprise, these words calmed her at once; and I saw her +sit down very quietly in HER corner, close to HER pigeon-hole, +upon HER chair, with her feet upon HER footstool. + +The dinner was a complete failure. Mademoiselle Prefere, who seemed +lost in a brown study, never noticed the fact. As a rule I am very +sensitive about such misfortunes; but this one caused Jeanne so +much delight that at last I could not help enjoying it myself. Even +at my age I had not been able to learn before that a chicken, raw +on one side and burned on the other, was a funny thing; but Jeanne's +bursts of laughter taught me that it was. That chicken caused us to +say a thousand very witty things, which I have forgotten; and I was +enchanted that it had not been properly cooked. Jeanne put it back +to roast again; then she broiled it; then she stewed it with butter. +And every time it came back to the table it was much less appetising +and much more mirth-provoking than before. When we did eat it, at +last, it had become a thing for which there is no name in any +cuisine. + +The almond cake was much more extraordinary. It was brought to the +table in the pan, because it never could have got out of it. I +invited Jeanne to help us all to a piece thinking that I was going +to embarrass her; but she broke the pan and gave each of us a +fragment. To think that anybody at my age could eat such things was +an idea possible only to the very artless mind. Mademoiselle Prefere, +suddenly awakened from her dream, indignantly pushed away the sugary +splinter of earthenware, and deemed it opportune to inform me that +she herself was exceedingly skilful in making confectionery. + +"Ah!" exclaimed Jeanne, with an air of surprise not altogether without +malice. Then she wrapped all the fragments of the pan in a piece of +paper, for the purpose of giving them to her little playmates-- +especially to the three little Mouton girls, who are naturally +inclined to gluttony. + +Secretly, however, I was beginning to feel very uneasy. It did not +now seem in any way possible to keep much longer upon good terms +with Mademoiselle Prefere since her matrimonial fury had this burst +forth. And that lady affronted, good-bye to Jeanne! I took advantage +of a moment while the sweet soul was busy putting on her cloak, in +order to ask Jeanne to tell me exactly what her own age was. She +was eighteen years and one month old. I counted on my fingers, and +found she would not come of age for another two years and eleven +months. And how should we be able to manage during all that time? + +At the door Mademoiselle Prefere squeezed my hand with so much +meaning that I fairly shook from head to foot. + +"Good-bye," I said very gravely to the young girl. "But listen to +me a moment: your friend is very old, and might perhaps fail you +when you need him most. Promise me never to fail in your duty to +yourself, and then I shall have no fear. God keep you, my child!" + +After closing the door behind them, I opened the window to get a +last look at her as she was going away. But the night was dark, +and I could see only two vague shadows flitting across the quay. +I heard the vast deep hom of the city rising up about me; and I +suddenly felt a great sinking at my heart. + +Poor child! + + +December 15. + + +The King of Thule kept a goblet of gold which his dying mistress +had bequeathed him as a souvenir. When about to die himself, after +having drunk from it for the last time, he threw the goblet into the +sea. And I keep this diary of memories even as that old prince of +the mist-haunted seas kept his carven goblet; and even as he flung +away at last his love-pledge, so will I burn this book of souvenirs. +Assuredly it is not through any arrogant avarice nor through any +egotistical pride, that I shall destroy this record of a humble +life--it is only because I fear lest those things which are dear and +sacred to me might appear before others, because of my inartistic +manner of expression, either commonplace or absurd. + +I do not say this in view of what is going to follow. Absurd I +certainly must have been when, having been invited to dinner by +Mademoiselle Prefere, I took my seat in a bergere (it was really +a bergere) at the right hand of that alarming person. The table +had been set in a little parlour; and I could observe from the poor +way in which it was set out that the schoolmistress was one of those +ethereal souls who soar above terrestrial things. Chipped plates, +unmatched glasses, knives with loose handles, forks with yellow +prongs--there was absolutely nothing wanting to spoil the appetite +of an honest man. + +I was assured that the dinner had been cooked for me--for me alone-- +although Maitre Mouche had also been invited. Mademoiselle Prefere +must have imagined that I had Sarmatian tastes on the subject of +butter; for that which she offered me, served up in little thin pats, +was excessively rancid. + +The roast very nearly poisoned me. But I had the pleasure of hearing +Maitre Mouche and Mademoiselle Prefere discourse upon virtue. I +said the pleasure--I ought to have said the shame; for the sentiments +to which they gave expression soared far beyond the range of my +vulgar nature. + +What they said proved to me as clear as day that devotedness was their +daily bread, and that self-sacrifice was not less necessary to their +existence than air and water. Observing that I was not eating, +Mademoiselle Prefere made a thousand efforts to overcome that which +she was good enough to term my "discretion." Jeanne was not of the +party, because, I was told, her presence at it would have been +contrary to the rules, and would have wounded the feelings of the +other school-children, among whom it was necessary to maintian a +certain equality. I secretly congratulated her upon having escaped +from the Merovingian butter; from the huge radishes, empty as funeral- +urns; form the leathery roast, and from various other curiosities of +diet to which I had exposed myself for the love of her. + +The extremely disconsolate-looking servant served up some liquid to +which they gave the name of cream--I do not know why--and vanished +away like a ghost. + +Then Mademoiselle Prefere related to Maitre Mouche, with extraordinary +transports of emotion, all that she had said to me in the City of +Books, during the time that my housekeeper was sick in bed. Her +admiration for a Member of the Institute, her terror lest I should +be taken ill while unattended, and the certainty she felt that any +intelligent woman would be proud and happy to share my existence--she +concealed nothing, but, on the contrary, added many fresh follies to +the recital. Maitre Mouche kept nodding his head in approval while +cracking nuts. Then, after all this verbiage, he demanded, with +an agreeable smile, what my answer had been. + +Mademoiselle Prefere, pressing her hand upon her heart and extending +the other towards me, cried out, + +"He is so affectionate, so superior, so good, and so great! He +answered... But I could never, because I am only a humble woman--I +could never repeat the words of a Member of the Institute. I can +only utter the substance of them. He answered, 'Yes, I understand +you--yes.'" + +And with these words she reached out and seized one of my hands. +Then Maitre Mouche, also overwhelmed with emotion, arose and seized +my other hand. + +"Monsieur," he said, "permit me to offer my congratulations." + +Several times in my life I have known fear; but never before had I +experienced any fright of so nauseating a character. A sickening +terror came upon me. + +I disengaged by two hands, and, rising to my feet, so as to give all +possible seriousness to my words, I said, + +"Madame, either I explained myself very badly when you were at my +house, or I have totally misunderstood you here in your own. In +either case, a positive declaration is absolutely necessary. Permit +me, Madame, to make it now, very plainly. No--I never did understand +you; I am totally ignorant of the nature of this marriage project +that you have been planning for me--if you really have been planning +one. In any event, I should not think of marrying. It would be +unpardonable folly at my age, and even now, at this moment, I +cannot conceive how a sensible person like you could ever have advised +me to marry. Indeed, I am strongly inclined to believe that I must +have been mistaken, and that you never said anything of the kind +before. In the latter case, please excuse an old man totally +unfamiliar with the usages of society, unaccustomed to the +conversation of ladies, and very contrite for his mistake." + +Maitre Mouche went back very softly to his place, where, not finding +any more nuts to crack, he began to whittle a cork. + +Mademoiselle Prefere, after staring at me for a few moments with an +expression in her little round dry eyes which I had never seen there +before, suddenly resumed her customary sweetness and graciousness. +Then she cried out in honeyed tones, + +"Oh! these learned men!--these studious men! They are like children. +Yes, Monsieur Bonnard, you are a real child!" + +Then, turning to the notary, who still sat very quietly in his corner, +with his nose over his cork, she exclaimed, in beseeching tones, + +"Oh, do not accuse him! Do not accuse him! Do not think any evil +of him, I beg of you! Do not think it at all! Must I ask you upon +my knees?" + +Maitre Mouche continued to examine all the various aspects and +surfaces of his cork without making any further manifestation. + +I was very indignant; and I know that my cheeks must have been +extremely red, if I could judge by the flush of heat which I felt +rise to my face. This would enable me to explain the words I +heard through all the buzzing in my ears: + +"I am frightened about him! our poor friend!... Monsieur Mouche, be +kind enough to open a window! It seems to me that a compress of +arnica would do him some good." + +I rushed out into the street with an unspeakable feeling of shame. + +"My poor Jeanne!" + + +December 20. + + +I passed eight days without hearing anything further in regard to +the Prefere establishment. Then, feeling myself unable to remain +any longer without some news of Clementine's daughter, and feeling +furthermore that I owed it as a duty to myself not to cease my visits +with the school without more serious cause, I took my way to Les +Ternes. + +the parlour seemed to me more cold, more damp, more inhospitable, +and more insidious than ever before; and the servant much more +silent and much more scared. I asked to see Mademoiselle Jeanne; +but, after a very considerable time, it was Mademoiselle Prefere +who made her appearance instead--severe and pale, with lips compressed +and a hard look in her eyes. + +"Monsieur," she said, folding her arms over her pelerine, I regret +very much that I cannot allow you to see Mademoiselle Alexandre to- +day; but I cannot possibly do it." + +"Why not?" I asked in astonishment. + +"Monsieur," she replied, "the reasons which compel me to request that +your visits shall be less frequent hereafter are of an excessively +delicate nature; and I must beg you to spare me the unpleasantness +of mentioning them." + +"Madame," I replied, "I have been authorized by Jeanne's guardian +to see his ward every day. Will you please to inform me of your +reasons for opposing the will of Monsieur Mouche?" + +"The guardian of Mademoiselle Alexandre," she replied (and she +dwelt upon that word "guardian" as upon a solid support), "desires, +quite as strongly as I myself do, that your assiduities may come +to an end as soon as possible." + +"Then, if that be the case," I said, "be kind enough to let me know +his reasons and your own." + +She looked up at the little spiral of paper on the ceiling, and then +replied, with stern composure, + +"You insist upon it? Well, although such explanations are very +painful for a woman to make, I will yield to your exaction. This +house, Monsieur is an honourable house. I have my responsibility. +I have to watch like a mother over each one of my pupils. Your +assiduities in regard to Mademoiselle Alexandre could not possibly +be continued without serious injury to the young girl herself; and +it is my duty to insist that they shall cease." + +"I do not really understand you," I replied--and I was telling the +plain truth. Then she deliberately resumed: + +"Your assiduities in this house are being interpreted, by the most +respectable and the least suspicious persons, in such a manner that +I find myself obliged, both in the interest of my establishment and +in the interest of Mademoiselle Alexandre, to see that they end at +once." + +"Madame," I cried, "I have heard a great many silly things in my +life, but never anything so silly as what you have just said!" + +She answered me quietly, + +"Your words of abuse will not affect me in the slightest. When one +has a duty to accomplish, one is strong enough to endure all." + +And she pressed her pelerine over her heart once more--not perhaps +on this occasion to restrain, but doubtless only to caress that +generous heart. + +"Madame," I said, shaking my finger at her, "you have wantonly +aroused the indignation of an aged man. Be good enough to act in +such a fashion that the old man may be able at least to forget your +existence, and do not add fresh insults to those which I have already +sustained from your lips. I give you fair warning that I shall never +cease to look after Mademoiselle Alexandre; and that should you +attempt to do her any harm, in any manner whatsoever, you will have +serious reason to regret it!" + +The more I became excited, the more she became cool; and she answered +in a tone of superb indifference: + +"Monsieur, I am much too well informed in regard to the nature of +the interest which you take in this young girl, not to withdraw her +immediately from that very surveillance with which you threaten me. +After observing the more than equivocal intimacy in which you are +living with your housekeeper, I ought to have taken measures at +once to render it impossible for you ever to come into contact with +an innocent child. In the future I shall certainly do it. If up to +this time I have been too trustful, it is for Mademoiselle Alexandre, +and not for you, to reproach me with it. But she is too artless and +too pure--thanks to me!--ever to have suspected the nature of that +danger into which you were trying to lead her. I scarecly suppose +that you will place me under the necessity of enlightening her upon +the subject." + +"Come, my poor old Bonnard," I said to myself, as I shrugged my +shoulders--"so you had to live as long as this in order to learn for +the first time exactly what a wicked woman is. And now your knowledge +of the subject is complete." + +I went out without replying; and I had the pleasure of observing, +from the sudden flush which overspread the face of the schoolmistress, +that my silence had wounded her far more than my words. + +As I passed through the court I looked about me in every direction +for Jeanne. She was watching for me, and she ran to me. + +"If anybody touches one little hair of your head, Jeanne, write to +me! Good-bye!" + +"No, not good-bye." + +I replied, + +"Well, no--not good-bye! Write to me!" + + +I went straight to Madame de Gabry's residence. + +"Madame is at Rome with Monsieur. Did not Monsieur know it?" + +"Why, yes," I replied. "Madame wrote to me."... + +She had indeed written to me in regard to her leaving home; but my +head must have become very much confused, so that I had forgotten +all about it. The servant seemed to be of the same opinion, for +he looked at me in a way that seemed to signify, "Monsieur Bonnard +is doting"--and he leaned down over the balustrade of the stairway +to see if I was not going to do something extraordinary before I +got to the bottom. But I descended the stairs rationally enough; +and then he drew back his head in disappointment. + +On returning home I was informed that Monsieur Gelis was waiting for +me in the parlour. (This young man has become a constant visitor. +His judgement is at fault at times; but his mind is not at all +commonplace.) On this occasion, however, his usually welcome visit +only embarrassed me. "Alas!" I thought to myself, "I shall be sure +to say something very stupid to my young friend to-day, and he +also will think that my facilities are becoming impaired. But still +I cannot really explain to him that I had first been demanded in +wedlock, and subsequently traduced as a man wholly devoid of morals-- +that even Therese had become an object of suspicion--and that Jeanne +remains in the power of the most rascally woman on the face of the +earth. I am certainly in an admirable state of mind for conversing +about Cistercian abbeys with a young and mischievously minded man. +Nevertheless, we shall see--we shall try."... + +But Therese stopped me: + +"How red you are, Monsieur!" she exclaimed, in a tone of reproach. + +"It must be the spring," I answered. + +She cried out, + +"The spring!--in the month of December?" + +That is a fact! this is December. Ah! what is the matter with my +head? what a fine help I am going to be to poor Jeanne! + +"Therese, take my cane; and put it, if you possibly can, in some +place where I shall be able to find it again. + +"Good-day, Monsieur Gelis. How are you?" + + +Undated. + + +Next morning the old boy wanted to get up; but the old boy could +not get up. A merciless invisible hand kept him down upon his bed. +Finding himself immovably riveted there, the old boy resigned himself +to remain motionless; but his thoughts kept running in all directions. + +He must have had a very violent fever; for Mademoiselle Prefere, the +Abbots of Saint-Germain-des-Pres, and the servant of Madame de Gabry +appeared to him in divers fantastic shapes. The figure of the +servant in particular lengthened weirdly over his head, grimacing +like some gargoyle of a cathedral. Then it seemed to me that there +were a great many people, much too many people, in my bedroom. + +This bedroom of mine is furnished after the antiquated fashion. The +portrait of my father in full uniform, and the portrait of my mother +in her cashmere dress, are suspended on the wall. The wall-paper +is covered with green foliage designs. I am aware of all this, and +I am even conscious that everything is faded, very much faded. But +an old man's room does not require to be pretty; it is enough that +it should be clean, and Therese sees to that. At all events my room +is sufficiently decorated to please a mind like mine, which has +always remained somewhat childish and dreamy. There are things +hanging on the wall or scattered over the tables and shelves which +usually please my fancy and amuse me. But to-day it would seem as +if all those objects had suddenly conceived some kind of ill-will +against me. They have all become garish, grimacing, menacing. That +statuette, modelled after one of the Theological Virtues of Notre- +Dame de Brou, always so ingenuously graceful in its natural condition, +is now making contortions and putting out its tongue at me. And +that beautiful miniature--in which one of the most skilful pupils +of Jehan Fouquet depicted himself, girdled with the cord-girdle of +the Sons of St. Francis, offering his book, on bended knee, to the +good Duc d'Angouleme--who has taken it out of its frame and put in +its place a great ugly cat's head, which stares at me with +phosphorescent eyes. And the designs on the wall-paper have also +turned into heads--hideous green heads.... But no--I am sure that +wall-paper must have foliage-designs upon it at this moment just +as it had twenty years ago, and nothing else.... But no, again--I +was right before--they are heads, with eyes, noses, mouths--they +are heads!... Ah! now I understand! they are both heads and foliage- +designs at the same time. I wish I could not see them at all. + +And there, on my right, the pretty miniature of the Franciscan has +come back again; but it seems to me as if I can only keep it in its +frame by a tremendous effort of will, and that the moment I get +tired the ugly cat-head will appear in its place. Certainly I am +not delirious; I can see Therese very plainly, standing at the foot +of my bed; I can hear her speaking to me perfectly well, and I should +be able to answer her quite satisfactorily if I were not kept so +busy in trying to compel the various objects about me to maintain +their natural aspect. + +Here is the doctor coming. I never sent for him, but it gives me +pleasure to see him. He is an old neighbor of mine; I have never +been of much service to him, but I like him very much. Even if I +do not say much to him, I have at least full possession of all my +faculties, and I even find myself extraordinarily crafty and +observant to-day, for I note all his gestures, his every look, the +least wrinkling of his face. But the doctor is very cunning, too, +and I cannot really tell what he thinks about me. The deep thought +of Goethe suddenly comes to my mind and I exclaim, + +"Doctor, the old man has consented to allow himself to become sick; +but he does not intend, this time at least, to make any further +concessions to nature." + +Neither the doctor nor Therese laughs at my little joke. I suppose +they cannot have understood it. + +The doctor goes away; evening comes; and all sorts of strange shadows +begin to shape themselves about my bed-curtains, forming and +dissolving by turns. And other shadows--ghosts--throng by before +me; and through them I can see distinctively the impassive face of +my faithful servant. And suddenly a cry, a shrill cry, a great cry +of distress, rends my ears. Was it you who called me Jeanne? + +The day is over; and the shadows take their places at my bedside to +remain with me all through the long night. + +Then morning comes--I feel a peace, a vast peace, wrapping me all +about. + +Art Thou about to take me into Thy rest, my dear Lord God? + + +February 186-. + + +The doctor is quite jovial. It seems that I am doing him a great +deal of credit by being able to get out of bed. If I must believe +him, innumerable disorders must have pounced down upon my poor old +body all at the same time. + +These disorders, which are the terror of ordinary mankind, have +names which are the terror of philologists. They are hybrid names, +half Greek, half Latin, with terminations in "itis," indicating the +inflammatory condition, and in "algia," indicating pain. The doctor +gives me all their names, together with a corresponding number of +adjectives ending in "ic," which serve to characterise their +detestable qualities. In short, they represent a good half of that +most perfect copy of the Dictionary of Medicine contained in the too- +authentic box of Pandora. + +"Doctor, what an excellent common-sense story the story of Pandora +is!--if I were a poet I would put it into French verse. Shake hands, +doctor! You have brought me back to life; I forgive you for it. You +have given me back to my friends; I thank you for it. You say I am +quite strong. That may be, that may be; but I have lasted a very +long time. I am a very old article of furniture; I might be very +satisfactorily compared to my father's arm-chair. It was an arm- +chair which the good man had inherited, and in which he used to +lounge from morning until evening. Twenty times a day, when I was +quite a baby, I used to climb up and seat myself on one of the arms +of that old-fashioned chair. So long as the chair remained intact, +nobody paid any particular attention to it. But it began to limp +on one foot and then folks began to say that it was a very good +chair. Afterwards it became lame in three legs, squeaked with the +fourth leg, and lost nearly half of both arms. Then everybody +would exclaim, 'What a strong chair!' They wondered how it was +that after its arms had been worn off and all its legs knocked out +of perpendicular, it could yet preserve the recognisable shape of +a chair, remains nearly erect, and still be of some service. The +horse-hair came out of its body at last, and it gave up the ghost. +And when Cyprien, our servant, sawed up its mutilated members for +fire-wood, everybody redoubled their cries of admiration. Oh! +what an excellent--what a marvellous chair! It was the chair of +Pierre Sylvestre Bonnard, the cloth merchant--of Epimenide Bonnard, +his son--of Jean-Baptiste Bonnard, the Pyrrhonian philosopher and +Chief of the Third Maritime Division. Oh! what a robust and venerable +chair!' In reality it was a dead chair. Well, doctor, I am that +chair. You think I am solid because I have been able to resist an +attack which would have killed many people, and which only three- +fourths killed me. Much obliged! I feel none the less that I am +something which has been irremediably damaged." + +The doctor tries to prove to me, with the help of enormous Greek and +Latin words, that I am really in a very good condition. It would, +of course, be useless to attempt any demonstration of this kind in +so lucid a language as French. However, I allow him to persuade me +at last; and I see him to the door. + +"Good! good!" exclaimed Therese; "that is the way to put the doctor +out of the house! Just do the same thing once or twice again, and +he will not come to see you any more--and so much the better?" + +"Well, Therese, now that I have become such a hearty man again, do +not refuse to give me my letters. I am sure there must be quite +a big bundle of letters, and it would be very wicked to keep me any +longer from reading them." + +Therese, after some little grumbling, gave me my letters. But what +did it matter?--I looked at all the envelopes, and saw that no one +of them had been addressed by the little hand which I so much wish +I could see here now, turning over the pages of the Vecellio. I +pushed the whole bundle of letters away: they had no more interest +for me. + + +April-June + + +It was a hotly contested engagement. + +"Wait, Monsieur, until I have put on my clean things," exclaimed +Therese, "and I will go out with you this time also; I will carry +your folding-stool as I have been doing these last few days, and we +will go and sit down somewhere in the sun." + +Therese actually thinks me infirm. I have been sick, it is true, +but there is an end to all things! Madame Malady has taken her +departure quite awhile ago, and it is now more than three months +since her pale and gracious-visaged handmaid, Dame Convalescence, +politely bade me farewell. If I were to listen to my housekeeper, +I should become a veritable Monsieur Argant, and I should wear a +nightcap with ribbons for the rest of my life.... No more of this!-- +I propose to go out by myself! Therese will not hear of it. She +takes my folding-stool, and wants to follow me. + +"Therese, to-morrow, if you like, we will take our seats on the +sunny side of the wall of La Petite Provence and stay there just as +long as you please. But to-day I have some very important affairs +to attend to." + +"So much the better! But your affairs are not the only affairs in +this world." + +I beg; I scold; I make my escape. + +It is quite a pleasant day. With the aid of a cab and the help of +almighty God, I trust to be able to fulfil my purpose. + +There is the wall on which is painted in great blue letters the +words "Pensionnat de Demoiselles tenu par Mademoiselle Virginie +Prefere." There is the iron gate which would give free entrance +into the court-yard if it were ever opened. But the lock is rusty, +and sheets of zinc put up behind the bars protect the indiscreet +observation those dear little souls to whom Mademoiselle Prefere +doubtless teaches modesty, sincerity, justice, and disinterestedness. +There is a window, with iron bars before it, and panes daubed over +with white paint--the window of the domestic offices, like a glazed +eye--the only aperture of the building opening upon the exterior +world. As for the house-door, through which I entered so often, +but which is now closed against me for ever, it is just as I saw it +the last time, with its little iron-grated wicket. The single +stone step in front of it is deeply worn, and, without having very +good eyes behind my spectacles, I can see the little white scratches +on the stone which have been made by the nails in the shoes of the +girls going in and out. And why cannot I also go in? I have a +feeling that Jeanne must be suffering a great deal in this dismal +house, and that she calls my name in secret. I cannot go away from +the gate! A strange anxiety takes hold of me. I pull the bell. +The scared-looking servant comes to the door, even more scared- +looking than when I saw her the last time. Strict orders have been +given; I am not to be allowed to see Mademoiselle Jeanne. I beg +the servant to be so kind as to tell me how the child is. The +servant, after looking to her right and then to her left, tells me +that Mademoiselle Jeanne is well, and then shuts the door in my +face. And I am all alone in the street again. + +How many times since then have I wandered in the same way under that +wall, and passed before the little door,--full of shame and despair +to find myself even weaker than that poor child, who has no other +help of friend except myself in the world! + +Finally I overcame my repugnance sufficiently to call upon Maitre +Mouche. The first thing I remarked was that his office is much more +dusty and much more mouldy this year that it was last year. The +notary made his appearance after a moment, with his familiar stiff +gestures, and his restless eyes quivering behind his eye-glasses. +I made my complaints to him. He answered me.... But why should I +write down, even in a notebook which I am going to burn, my +recollections of a downright scoundrel? He takes sides with +Mademoiselle Prefere, whose intelligent mind and irreproachable +character he has long appreciated. He does not feel himself in a +position to decide the nature of the question at issue; but he must +assure me that appearances have been greatly against me. That of +course makes no difference to me. He adds--(and this does make some +sense to me)--that the small sum which had been placed in his hands +to defray the expenses of the education of his ward has been +expended, and that, in view of the circumstances, he cannot but +gently admire the disinterestedness of Mademoiselle Prefere in +consenting to allow Mademoiselle Jeanne to remain with her. + +A magnificent light, the light of a perfect day, floods the sordid +place with its incorruptible torrent, and illuminates teh person of +that man! + +And outside it pours down its splendour upon all the wretchedness of +a populous quarter. + +How sweet it is,--this light with which my eyes have so long been +filled, and which ere long I must for ever cease to enjoy! I wander +out with my hands behind me, dreaming as I go, following the line of +the fortifications; and I find myself after awhile, I know not how, +in an out-of-the-way suburb full of miserable little gardens. By +the dusty roadside I observe a plant whose flower, at once dark and +splendid, seems worthy of association with the noblest and purest +mouning for the dead. It is a columbine. Our fathers called it "Our +Lady's Glove"--le gant de Notre-Dame. Only such a "Notre-Dame" +as might make herself very, very small, for the sake of appearing to +little children, could ever slip her dainty fingers into the narrow +capsue of that flower. + +And there is a big bumble-bee who tries to force himself into the +flower, brutally; but his mouth cannot reach the nectar, and the +poor glutton strives and strives in vain. He has to give up the +attempt, and comes out of the flower all smeared over with pollen. +He flies off in his own heavy lumbering way; but there are not many +flowers in this portion of the suburbs, which has been defiled by +the soot and smoke of factories. So he comes back to the columbine +again, and this time he pierces the corolla and sucks the honey +through the little hole which he has made; I should never have thought +that a bumble-bee had so much sense! Why, that is admirble! The +more I observe, them, the more do insects and flowers fill me with +astonishment. I am like that good Rollin who went wild with delight +over the flowers of his peach-trees. I wish I could have a fine +garden, and live at the verge of a wood. + + +August, September. + + +It occurred to me one Sunday morning to watch for the moment when +Mademoiselle Prefere's pupils were leaving the school in procession +to attand Mass at the parish church. I watched them passing two +by two,--the little ones first with very serious faces. There were +three of them all dressed exactly alike--dumpy, plump, important- +looking little creatures, whom I recognized at once as the Mouton +girls. Their elder sister is the artist who drew that terrrible +head of Tatius, King of the Sabines. Beside the column, the +assistant school-teacher, with her prayer-book in her hand, was +gesturing and frowning. Then came the next oldest class, and +finally the big girls, all whispering to each other, as they went +by. But I did not see Jeanne. + +I went to police-headquarters and inquired whether they chanced to +have, filed away somewhere or other, any information regarding the +establishment in the Rue Demours. I succeeded in inducing them to +send some female inspectors there. These returned bringing with +them the most favourable reports about the establishment. In their +opinion the Prefere School was a model school. It is evident that +if I were to force an investigation, Mademoiselle Prefere would +receive academic honours. + + +October 3. + + +This Thursday being a school-holiday I had teh chance of meeting the +three little Mouton girls in the vicinity of the Rue Demours. After +bowing to their mother, I asked the eldest who appears to be about +ten years old, how was her playmate, Mademoiselle Jeanne Alexandre. + +The little Mouton girl answered me, all in a breath, + +"Jeanne Alexandre is not my playmate. She is only kept in the school +for charity--so they make her sweep the class-rooms. It was +Mademoiselle who said so. And Jeanne Alexandre is a bad girl; so +they lock her up in the dark room--and it serves her right--and I +am a good girl--and I am never locked up in the dark room." + +The three little girls resumed their walk, and Madame Mouton followed +close behind them, looking back over her broad shoulder at me, in a +very suspicious manner. + +Alas! I find myself reduced to expedients of a questionable +character. Madame de Gabry will not come back to Paris for at least +three months more, at the very soonest. Without her, I have no tact, +I have no common sense--I am nothing but a cumbersome, clumsy, +mischief-making machine. + +Nevertheless, I cannot possibly permit them to make Jeanne a +boarding-school servant! + + +December 28. + + +The idea that Jeanne was obliged to sweep the rooms had become +absolutely unbearable. + +The weather was dark and cold. Night had already begun. I rang the +school-door bell with the tranquillity of a resolute man. The moment +that the timid servant opened the door, I slipped a gold piece into +her hand, and promised her another if she would arrange matters so +that I could see Mademoiselle Alexandre. Her answer was, + +"In one hour from now, at the grated window." + +And she slammed the door in my face so rudely that she knocked my +hat into the gutter. I waited for one very long hour in a violent +snow-storm; then I approached the window. Nothing! The wind raged, +and the snow fell heavily. Workmen passing by with their implements +on their shoulders, and their heads bent down to keep the snow from +coming in their faces, rudely jostled me. Still nothing. I began +to fear I had been observed. I knew that I had done wrong in bribing +a servant, but I was not a bit sorry for it. Woe to the man who +does not know how to break through social regulations in case of +necessity! Another quarter of an hour passed. Nothing. At last +the window was partly opened. + +"Is that you, Monsieur Bonnard?" + +Is that you, Jeanne?--tell me at once what has become of you." + +"I am well--very well." + +"But what else!" + +"They have put me in the kitchen, and I have to sweep the school- +rooms." + +"In the kitchen! Sweeping--you! Gracious goodness!" + +"Yes, because my guardian does not pay for my schooling any longer." + +"Gracious goodness! Your guardian seems to me to be a thorough +scoundrel." + +"Then you know---" + +"What?" + +"Oh! don't ask me to tell you that!--but I would rather die than find +myself alone with him again." + +"And why did you not write to me?" + +"I was watched." + +At this instant I formed a resolve which nothing in this world could +have induced me to change. I did, indeed, have some idea that I +might be acting contrary to law; but I did not give myself the least +concern about that idea. And, being firmly resolved, I was able to +be prudent. I acted with remarkable coolness. + +"Jeanne," I asked, "tell me! does that room you are in open into +the court-yard?" + +"Yes." + +"Can you open the street-door from the inside yourself?" + +"Yes,--if there is nobody in the porter's lodge." + +"Go and see if there is any one there, and be careful that nobody +observes you." + +Then I waited, keeping a watch on the door and window. + +In six or seven seconds Jeanne reappeared behind the bars, and said, + +"The servant is in the porter's lodge." + +"Very well," I said, "have you a pen and ink?" + +"No." + +"A pencil?" + +"Yes." + +"Pass it out here." + +I took an old newspaper out of my pocket, and--in a wind which blew +almost hard enough to put the street-lamps out, in a downpour of +snow which almost blinded me--I managed to wrap up and address that +paper to Mademoiselle Prefere. + +While I was writing I asked Jeanne, + +"When the postman passes he puts the papers and letters in the box, +doesn't he? He rings the bell and goes away? Then the servant opens +the letter-box and takes whatever she finds there to Mademoiselle +Prefere immediately; is not that about the way the thing is managed +whenever anything comes by post?" + +Jeanne thought it was. + +"Then we shall soon see. Jeanne, go and watch again; and, as soon +as the servant leaves the lodge, open the door and come out here to +me." + +Having said this, I put my newspaper in the box, gave the bell a +tremendous pull, and then hid myself in the embrasure of a +neighbouring door. + +I might have been there several minutes, when the little door +quivered, then opened, and a young girl's head made its appearance +through the opening. I took hold of it; I pulled it towards me. + +"Come, Jeanne! come!" + +She stared at me uneasily. Certainly she must have been afraid that +I had gone mad; but, on the contrary, I was very rational indeed. + +"Come, my child! come!" + +"Where?" + +"To Madame de Gabry's." + +Then she took my arm. For some time we ran like a couple of thieves. +But running is an exercise ill-suited to one as corpulent as I am, +and, finding myself out of breath at last, I stopped and leaned +upon something which turned out to be the stove of a dealer in +roasted chestnuts, who was doing business at the corner of a wine- +seller's shop, where a number of cabmen were drinking. One of them +asked us if we did not want a cab. Most assuredly we wanted a cab! +The driver, after setting down his glass on the zinc counter, +climbed upon his seat and urged his horse forward. We were saved. + +"Phew!" I panted, wiping my forehead. For, in spite of the cold, +I was perspiring profusely. + +What seemed very odd was that Jeanne appeared to be much more +conscious than I was of the enormity which we had committed. She +looked very serious indeed, and was visibly uneasy. + +"In the kitchen!" I cried out, with indignation. + +She shook her head, as if to say, "Well, there or anywhere else, +what does it matter to me?" And by the light of the street-lamps, +I observed with pain that her face was very thin and her features +all pinched. I did not find in her any of that vivacity, any of +those bright impulses, any of that quickness of expression, which +used to please me so much. Her gaze had become timid, her gestures +constrained, her whole attitude melancholy. I took her hand--a +little cold hand, which had become all hardened and bruised. The +poor child must have suffered very much. I questioned her. She +told me very quietly that Mademoiselle Prefere had summoned her +one day, and called her a little monster and a little viper, for +some reason which she had never been able to learn. + +She had added, "You shall not see Monsieur Bonnard any more; for he +has been giving you bad advice, and he has conducted himself in a +most shameful manner towards me." "I then said to her, 'That, +Mademoiselle, you will never be able to make me believe.' Then +Mademoiselle slapped my face and sent me back to the school-room. +The announcement that I should never be allowed to see you again +made me feel as if night had come down upon me. Don't you know +those evenings when one feels so sad to see the darkness come?--well, +just imagine such a moment stretched out into weeks--into whole +months! Don't you remember my little Saint-George? Up to that +time I had worked at it as well as I could--just simply to work at +it--just to amuse myself. But when I lost all hope of ever seeing +you again I took my little wax figure, and I began to work at it in +quite another way. I did not try to model it with wooden matches +any more, as I had been doing, but with hair pins. I even made use +of epingles a la neige. But perhaps you do not know what epingles +a la neige are? Well, I became more particular about than you can +possibly imagine. I put a dragon on Saint-George's helmet; and I +passed hours and hours in making a head and eyes and tail for the +dragon. Oh the eyes! the eyes, above all! I never stopped working +at them till I got them so that they had red pupils and white eye- +lids and eye-brows and everything! I know I am very silly; I had +an idea that I was going to die as soon as my little Saint-George +would be finished. I worked at it during recreation-hours, and +Mademoiselle Prefere used to let me alone. One day I learned that +you were in the parlour with the schoolmistress; I watched for you; +we said 'Au revoir!' that day to each other. I was a little consoled +by seeing you. But, some time after that, my guardian came and +wanted to make me go to his house,--but please don't ask me why, +Monsieur. He answered me, quite gently, that I was a very whimsical +little girl. And then he left me alone. But the next day +Mademoiselle Prefere came to me with such a wicked look on her face +that I was really afraid. She had a letter in her hand. +'Mademoiselle,' she said to me, 'I am informed by your guardian +that he has spent all the money which belonged to you. Don't be +afraid! I do not intend to abandon you; but, you must acknowledge +yourself, it is only right that you should earn your own livelihood.' +Then she put me to work house-cleaning; and whenever I made a mistake +she would lock me up in the garet for days together. And that is +what has happened to me since I saw you last. Even if I had been +able to write to you I do not know whether I should have done it, +because I did not think you could possibly take me away from the +school; and, as Maitre Mouche did not come back to see me, there +was no hurry. I thought I could wait for awhile in the garret and +the kitchen. + +"Jeanne," I cried, "even if we should have to flee to Oceania, the +abominable Prefere shall never get hold of you again. I will take +a great oath on that! And why should we not go to Oceania? The +climate is very healthy; and I read in a newspaper the other day +that they have pianos there. But, in the meantime, let us go to +the house of Madame de Gabry, who returned to Paris, as luck would +have it, some three or four days ago; for you and I are two innocent +fools, and we have great need of some one to help us." + +Even as I was speaking Jeanne's features suddenly became pale, and +seemed to shrink into lifelessness; her eyes became all dim; her +lips, half open, contracted with an expression of pain. Then her +head sank sideways on her shoulder;--she had fainted. + +I lifter her in my arms, and carried her up Madame de Gabry's +staircase like a little baby asleep. But I was myself on the point +of fainting from emotional excitement and fatigue together, when +she came to herself again. + +"Ah! it is you." she said: "so much the better!" + +Such was our condition when we rang our friend's door-bell. + + +Same day. + + +It was eight o'clock. Madame de Gabry, as might be supposed, was +very much surprised by our unexpected appearance. But she welcomed +the old man and the child with that glad kindness which always +expresses itself in her beautiful gestures. It seems to me,--if I +might use the language of devotion so familiar to her,--it seems to +me as though some heavenly grace streams from her hands when ever +she opens them; and even the perfume which impregnates her robes +seems to inspire the sweet calm zeal of charity and good works. +Surprised she certainly was; but she asked us no question,--and +that silence seemed to me admirable. + +"Madame," I said to her, "we have both come to place ourselves under +your protection. And, first of all, we are going to ask you to give +us some super--or to give Jeanne some, at least; for a moment ago, +in the carriage, she fainted from weakness. As for myself, I could +not eat a bite at this late hour without passing a night of agony +in consequence. I hope that Monsieur de Gabry is well." + +"Oh, he is here!" she said. + +And she called him immediately. + +"Come in here, Paul! Come and see Monsieur Bonnard and Mademoiselle +Alexandre." + +He came. It was a pleasure for me to see his frank broad face, and +to press his strong square hand. Then we went, all four of us, +into the dining-room; and while some cold meat was being cut for +Jeanne--which she never touched notwithstanding--I related our +adventure. Paul de Gabry asked me permission to smoke his pipe, +after which he listened to me in silence. When I had finished my +recital he scratched the short, stiff beard upon his chin, and +uttered a tremendous "Sacrebleu!" But, seeing Jeanne stare at +each of us in turn, with a frightened look in her face, he added: + +"We will talk about this matter to-morrow morning. Come into my +study for a moment; I have an old book to show you that I want you +to tell me something about." + +I followed him into his study, where the steel of guns and hunting +knives, suspended against the dark hangings, glimmered in the lamp- +light. There, pulling me down beside him upon a leather-covered +sofa, he exclaimed, + +"What have you done? Great God! Do you know what you have done? +Corruption of a minor, abduction, kidnapping! You have got yourself +into a nice mess! You have simply rendered yourself liable to a +sentence of imprisonment of not less than five nor more than ten +years." + +"Mercy on us!" I cried; "ten years imprisonment for having saved an +innocent child." + +"That is the law!" answered Monsieur de Gabry. "You see, my dear +Monsieur Bonnard, I happen to know the Code pretty well--not because +I ever studied law as a profession, but because, as mayor of Lusance, +I was obliged to teach myself something about it in order to be able +to give information to my subordinates. Mouche is a rascal; that +woman Prefere is a vile hussy; and you are a...Well! I really cannot +find a word strong enough to signify what you are!" + +After opening his bookcase, where dog-collars, riding-whips, stirrups, +spurs, cigar-boxes, and a few books of reference were indiscriminately +stowed away, he took out of it a copy of the Code, and began to turn +over the leaves. + +"'CRIMES AND MISDEMEANOURS'...'SEQUESTRATION OF PERSONS'--that is +not your case.... 'ABDUCTION OF MINORS'--here we are....'ARTICLE +354':--'Whosever shall, either by fraud or violence, have abducted +or have caused to be abducted any minor or minors, or shall have +enticed them, or turned them away from, or forcibly removed them, +or shall have caused them to be enticed, or turned away from or +forcibly removed from the places in which they have been placed by +those to whose authority or direction they have been submitted or +confided, shall be liable to the penalty of imprisonment. See +PENAL CODE, 21 and 28.' Here is 21:--'The term of imprisonment +shall not be less than five years.' 28. 'The sentence of imprisonment +shall be considered as involving a loss of civil rights.' Now all +that is very plain, is it not, Monsieur Bonnard?" + +"Perfectly plain." + +"Now let us go on: 'ARTICLE 356':--'In case the abductor be under +the age of 21 years at the time of the offense, he shall only be +punished with'...But we certainly cannot invoke this artice in your +favour. 'ARTICLE 357:':--'In case the abductor shall have married +the girl by him abducted, he can only be prosecuted at the insistence +of such persons as, according to the Civil Code, may have the right +to demand that the marriage shall be declared null; nor can he be +condemned until after the nullity of the marriage shall have been +pronounced.' I do not know whether it is a part of your plans to +marry Mademoiselle Alexandre! You can see that the code is good- +natured about it; it leaves you one door of escape. But no--I ought +not to joke with you, because really you have put yourself in a very +unfortunate position! And how could a man like you imagine that here +in Paris, in the middle of the nineteenth century, a young girl can +be abducted with absolute impunity? We are not living in the Middle +Ages now; and such things are no longer permitted by law." + +"You need not imagine," I replied, "that abduction was lawful under +the ancient Code. You will find in Baluze a decree issued by King +Cheldebert at Cologne, either in 593 or 594, on the subject: +moreoever, everybody knows that the famous 'Ordonance de Blois,' of +May 1579, formally enacted that any persons convicted of having +suborned any son or daughter under the age of twenty-five years, +whether under promise of marriage or otherwise, without the full +knowledge, will, or consent of the father, mother, and guardians, +should be punished with death; and the ordinance adds: 'Et +pareillement seront punis extraordinairement tous ceux qui auront +participe audit rapt, et qui auront prete conseil, confort, et +aide en aucune maniere que ce soit.' (And in like manner shall be +extraordinarily punished all persons whomsoever, who shall have +participated in the said abduction, and who shall have given +thereunto counsel, succor, or aid in any manner whatsoever.) Those +are the exact, or very nearly the exact, terms of the ordinance. +As for that article of the Code-Napoleon which you have just told +me of, and which excepts from liability to prosecution the abductor +who marries the young girl abducted by him, it reminds me that +according to the laws of Bretagne, forcible abduction, followed by +marriage, was not punished. But this usage, which involved various +abuses, was suppressed in 1720--at least I give you the date within +ten years. My memory is not very good now, and the time is long +passed when I could repeat by heart without even stopping to take +breath, fifteen hundred verses of Girart de Rousillon. + +"As far as regards the Capitulary of Charlemagne, which fixes the +compensation for abduction, I have not mentioned it because I am +sure that you must remember it. So, my dear Monsieur de Gabry, you +see abduction was considered as decidedly a punishable offense under +the three dynasties of Old France. It is a very great mistake to +suppose that the Middle Ages represent a period of social chaos. +You must remember, on the contrary---" + +Monsieur de Gabry here interrupted me: + +"So," he exclaimed, "you know of the Ordonnacne de Blois, you know +Baluze, you know Childebert, you know the Capitularies--and you +don't know anything about the Code-Napoleon!" + +I replied that, as a matter of fact, I never had read the Code; and +he looked very much surprised. + +"And now do you understand," he asked, "the extreme gravity of the +action you have committed?" + +I had not indeed been yet able to understand it fully. But little +by little, with the aid of Monsieur Paul's very sensible explanations, +I reached the conviction at last that I should not be judged in +regard to my motives, which were innocent, but only according to my +action, which was punishable. Thereupon I began to feel very +despondent, and to utter divers lamentations. + +"What am I to do?" I cried out, "what am I to do? Am I then +irretrievably ruined?--and have I also ruined the poor child whom I +wanted to save?" + +Monsieur de Gabry silently filled his pipe, and lighted it so slowly +that his kind broad face remained for at least three or four minutes +glowing red behind the light, like a blacksmith's in the gleam of +his forge-fire. Then he said, + +"You want to know what to do? Why, don't do anything, my dear +Monsieur Bonnard! For God's sake, and for your own sake, don't do +anything at all! Your situation is bad enough as it is; don't try +to meddle with it now, unless you want to create new difficulties +for yourself. But you must promise me to sustain me in any action +that I may take. I shall go to see Monsieur Mouche the very first +thing to-morrow morning; and if he turns out to be what I think he +is--that is to say, a consummate rascal--I shall very soon find means +of making him harmless, even if the devil himself should take sides +with him. For everything depends on him. As it is too late this +evening to take Mademoiselle Jeanne back to her boarding-school, my +wife will keep the young lady here to-night. This of course plainly +constitues the misdemeanour of complicity; but it saves the girl +from anything like an equivocal position. As for you, my dear +Monsieur, you just go back to the Quai Malaquais as quickly as you +can; and if they come to look for Jeanne there, it will be very easy +for you to prove she is not in your house." + +While we were thus talking, Madame de Gabry was preparing to make +her young lodger comfortable for the night. When she bade me good-bye +at the door, she was carrying a pair of clean sheets, scented with +lavender, thrown over her arm. + +"That," I said, "is a sweet honest smell." + +"Well, of course," answered Madame de Gabry, "you must remember we +are peasants." + +"Ah!" I answered her, "heaven grant that I also may be able one of +these days ti becine a peasant! Heaven grant that one of these days +I may be able, as you are at Lusance, to inhale the sweet fresh odour +of the country, and live in some little house all hidden among trees; +and if this wish of mine be too ambitious on the part of an old man +whose life is nearly closed, then I will only wish that my winding- +sheet may be as sweetly scented with lavender as that linen you have +on your arm." + +It was agreed that I should come to lunch the following morning. But +I was positively forbidden to show myself at the house before midday. +Jeanne, as she kissed me good-bye, begged me not to take her back +to the school any more. We felt much affected at parting, and very +anxious. + +I found Therese waiting for me on the landing, in such a condition +of worry about me that it had made her furious. She talked of nothing +less than keeping me under lock and key in the future. + +What a night I passed! I never closed my eyes for one single instant. +From time to time I could not help laughing like a boy at the success +of my prank; and then again, an inexpressible feeling of horror would +come upon me at the thought of being dragged before some magistrate, +and having to take my place upon the prisoner's bench, to answer +for the crime which I had so naturally committed. I was very much +afraid; and nevertheless I felt no remorse or regret whatever. The +sun, coming into my room at last, merrily lighted upon the foot of +my bed, and then I made this prayer: + +"My God, Thou who didst make the sky and the dew, as it is said in +'Tristan,' judge me in Thine equity, not indeed according unto my +acts, but according only to my motives, which Thou knowest have +been upright and pure; and I will say: Glory to Thee in heaven, +and peace on earth to men of good-will. I give into Thy hands the +child I stole away. Do that for her which I have not known how to +do; guard for her from all her enemies;--and blessed for ever be +Thy name!" + + +December 29. + + +When I arrived at Madame de Gabry's, I found Jeanne completely +transfigured. + +Had she also, like myself, at the very first light of dawn, called +upon Him who made the sky and the dew? She smiled with such a +sweet calm smile! + +Madame de Gabry called her away to arrange her hair for the amiable +lady had insisted upon combing and plaiting, with her own hands, +the hair of the child confided to her care. As I had come a little +before the hour agreed upon, I had interrupted this charming toilet. +By way of punishment I was told to go and wait in the parlour all +by myself. Monsieur de Gabry joined me there in a little while. +He had evidently just come in, for I could see on his forehead the +mark left my the lining of his hat. His frank face wore an expression +of joyful excitement. I thought I had better not ask him any +questions; and we all went to lunch. When the servants had finished +waiting at table, Monsieur Paul, who had been keeping his good story +for the dessert, said to us, + +"Well! I went to Levallois." + +"Did you see Maitre Mouche?" excitedly inquired Madame de Gabry. + +"No," he replied, curiously watching the expression of disappointment +upon our faces. + +After having amused himself with our anxiety for a reasonable time, +the good fellow added: + +"Maitre Mouche is no longer at Levallois. Maitre Mouche has gone +away from France. The day after to-morrow will make just eight days +since he decamped, taking with him all the money of his clients--a +tolerably large sum. I found the office closed. A woman who lived +close by told me all about it with an abundance of curses and +imprecations. The notary did not take the 7:55 train all by himself; +he took with him the daughter of the hairdresser of Levallois, a +young person quite famous in that part of the country for her beauty +and her accomplishments;--they say she could shave better than her +father. Well, anyhow Mouche has run away with her; the Commissaire +de Police confirmed the fact for me. Now, really, could it have been +possible for Maitre Mouche to have left the country at a more +opportune moment? If he had only deferred his escapade one week +longer, he would have been still the representative of society, and +would have had you dragged off to gaol, Monsieur Bonnard, like a +criminal. At present we have nothing whatever to fear from him. +Here is to the health of Maitre Mouche!" he cried, pouring out a +glass of white wine. + +I would like to live a long time if it were only to remember that +delightful morning. We four were all assembled in the big white +dining-room around the waxed oak table. Monsieur Paul's mirth was' +of the hearty kind,--even perhaps a little riotous; and the good +man quaffed deeply. Madame de Gabry smiled at me, with a smile so +sweet, so perfect, and so noble, that I thought such a woman ought +to keep smiles like that simply as a reward for good actions, and +thus make everybody who knew her do all the good of which they +were capable. Then, to reward us for our pains, Jeanne, who had +regained something of her former vivacity, asked us in less than a +quarter of an hour one dozen questions, to answer which would have +required an exhaustive exposition on the nature of man, the +nature of the universe, the science of physics and of metaphysics, +the Macrocosm and the Microcosm--not to speak of the Ineffable and +the Unknowable. Then she drew out of her pocket her little Saint- +George, who had suffered most cruelly during our flight. His legs +and arms were gone; but he still had his gold helmet with the green +dragon on it. Jeanne solemnly pledged herself to make a restoration +of him in honour of Madame de Gabry. + +Delightful friends! I left them at last overwhelmed with fatigue +and joy. + + +On re-entering my lodgings I had to endure the very sharpest +remonstrances from Therese, who said she had given up trying to +understand my new way of living. In her opinion Monsieur had really +lost his mind. + +"Yes, Therese, I am a mad old man and you are a mad old woman. That +is certain! May the good God bless us both, Therese, and give us +new strength; for we now have new duties to perform. but let me +lie down upon the sofa; for I really cannot keep myself on my feet +any longer." + + +January 15, 186-. + + +"Good-morning, Monsieur," said Jeanne, letting herself in; while +Therese remained grumbling in the corridor because she had not been +able to get to the door in time. + +"Mademoiselle, I beg you will be kind enough to address me very +solemnly by my title, and to say to me, 'Good-morning, my guardian.'" + +"Then it has all been settled? Oh, how nice!" cried the child, +clapping her hands. + +"It has all been arranged, Mademoiselle, in the Salle-commune and +before the Justice of the Peace; and from to-day you are under my +authority.... What are you laughing about, my ward? I see it in +your eyes. You have some crazy idea in your head this very moment-- +some more nonsense, eh?" + +"Oh, no! Monsieur.... I mean, my guardian. I was looking at your +white hair. It curls out from under the edge of your hat like +honeysuckle on a balcony. It is very handsome, and I like it very +much!" + +"Be good enough to sit down, my ward, and, if you can possibly help +it, stop saying ridiculous things, because I have some very serious +things to say to you. Listen. I suppose you are not going to +insist upon being sent back to the establishment of Mademoiselle +Prefere?... No. Well, then, what would you say if I should take +you here to live with me, and to finish your education, and keep +you here until...what shall I say?--for ever, as the song has it?" + +"Oh, Monsieur!" she cried, flushing crimson with pleasure. + +I continued, + +"Behind there we have a nice little room, which my housekeeper has +cleaned up and furnished for you. You are going to take the place +of the books which used to be in it; you will succeed them as the +day succeeds night. Go with Therese and look at it, and see if you +think you will be able to live in it. Madame de Gabry and I have +made up our minds that you can sleep there to-night." + +She had already started to run; I called her back for a moment. + +"Jeanne, listen to me a moment longer! You have always until now +made yourself a favourite with my housekeeper, who, like all very +old people, is apt to be cross at times. Be gentle and forebearing. +Make every allowance for her. I have thought it my duty to make +every allowance for her myself, and to put up with all her fits of +impatience. Now, let me tell you, Jeanne:--Respect her! And when +I say that, I do not forget that she is my servant and yours; neither +will she ever allow herself to forget it for a moment. But what I +want you to respect in her is her great age and her great heart. +She is a humble woman who has lived a very, very long time in the +habit of doing good; and she has become hardened and stiffened in +that habit. Bear patiently with the harsh ways of that upright +soul. If you know how to command, she will know how to obey. Go +now, my child; arrange your room in whatever way may seem to you +best suited for your studies and for your repose." + +Having started Jeanne, with this viaticum, upon her domestic career, +I began to read a Review, which, although conducted by very young +men, is excellent. The tone of it is somewhat unpolished, but the +spirit is zealous. The article I read was certainly far superior, +in point of precision and positiveness, to anything of the sort +ever written when I was a young man. The author of the article, +Monsieur Paul Meyer, points out every error with a remarkably +lucid power of incisive criticism. + +We used not in my time to criticise with such strict justice. Our +indulgence was vast. It went even so far as to confuse the scholar +and the ignoramus in the same burst of praise. And nevertheless +one must learn how to find fault; and it is even an imperative duty +to blame when the blame is deserved. + +I remember little Raymond (that was the name we gave him); he did +not know anything, and his mind was not a mind capable of absorbing +any solid learning; but he was very fond of his mother. We took +very good care never to utter a hint of the ignorance of so perfect +a son; and, thanks, to our forbearance, little Raymond made his way +to the highest positions. He had lost his mother then; but honours +of all kinds were showered upon him. He became omnipotent--to the +grievous injury of his colleagues and of science.... But here comes +my young fiend of the Luxembourg. + +"Good-evening, Gelis. You look very happy to-day. What good fortune +has come to you, my dear lad?" + +His good fortune is that he has been able to sustain his thesis very +credibly, and that he has taken high rank in his class. He tells +me this with the additional information that my own words, which +were incidentally referred to in the course of the examination, had +been spoken of by the college professors in terms of the most +unqualified praise. + +"That is very nice," I replied; "and it makes me very happy, Gelis, +to find my old reputation thus associated with your own youthful +honours. I was very much interested, you know, in that thesis of +yours;--but some domestic arrangements have been keeping me so busy +lately that I quite forgot this was the day on which you were to +sustain it." + +Mademoiselle Jeanne made her appearance very opportunely, as if in +order to suggest to him something about the nature of those very +domestic arrangements. The giddy girl burst into the City of Books +like a fresh breeze, crying at the top of her voice that her room +was a perfect little wonder. then she became very red indeed on +seeing Monsieur Gelis there. But none of us can escape our destiny. + +Monsieur Gelis asked her how she was with the tone of a young fellow +who resumes upon a previous acquaintance, and who proposes to put +himself forward as an old friend. Oh, never fear!--she had not +forgotten him at all; that was very evident from the fact that then +and there, right under my nose, they resumed their last year's +conversation on the subject of the "Venetian blond"! They continued +the discussion after quite an animated fashion. I began to ask +myself what right I had to be in the room at all. The only thing +I could do in order to make myself heard was to cough. As for getting +in a word, they never even gave me a chance. Gelis discoursed +enthusiastically, not only about the Venetian colourists, but also +upon all other matters relating to nature or to mankind. And Jeanne +kept answering him, "Yes, Monsieur, you are right.".... "That is just +what I supposed, Monsieur.".... "Monsieur, you express so beautifully +just what I feel."... "I am going to think a great deal about what +you have just told me, Monsieur." + +When I speak, Mademoiselle never answers me in that tone. It is +only with the very tip of her tongue that she will even taste any +intellectual food which I set before her. Usually she will not touch +it at all. But Monsieur Gelis seems to be in her opinion the supreme +authority upon all subjects. It was always, "Oh, yes!"--"Oh, of +course!"--to all his empty chatter. And, then, the eyes of Jeanne! +I had never seen them look so large before; I had never before +observed in them such fixity of expression; but her gaze otherwise +remained what it always is--artless, frank, and brave. Gelis +evidently pleased her; she like Gelis, and her eyes betrayed the +fact. They would have published it to the entire universe! All +very fine, Master Bonnard!--you have been so deeply interested in +observing your ward, that you have been forgetting you are her +guardian! You began only this morning to exercise that function; +and you can already see that it involves some very delicate and +difficult duties. Bonnard, you must really try to devise some means +of keeping that young man away from her; you really ought.... Eh! +how am I to know what I am to do?... + +I have picked up a book at random from the nearest shelf; I open it, +and I enter respectfully into the middle of a drama of Sophocles. +the older I grow, the more I learn to love the two civilisations +of the antique world; and now I always keep the poets of Italy and +of Greece on a shelf within easy reach of my arm in the City of +Books. + +Monsieur and Mademoiselle finally condescend to take some notice of +me, now that I seem too busy to take any notice of them. I really +think that Mademoiselle Jeanne has even asked me what I am reading. +No, indeed, I will not tell her what it is. what I am reading, +between ourselves, is the change of that smooth and luminous Chorus +which rolls out its magnificent tunefulness through a scene of +passionate violence--the Chorus of the Old Men of Thebes--'Erws +avixate...' "Invincible Love, O thou who descendest upon rich +houses,--Thou who dost rest upon the delicate cheek of the maiden,-- +Thou who dost traverse all seas,--surely none among the Immortals +can escape Thee, nor indeed any among men who live but for a little +space; and he who is possessed by Thee, there is a madness upon him." +And when I had re-read that delicious chant, the face of Antigone +appeared before me in all its passionless purity. What images! +Gods and goddesses who hover in the highest heights of Heaven! The +blind old man, the long-wandering beggar-king, led by Antigone, has +now been buried with holy rites; and his daughter, fair as the +fairest dream ever conceived by human soul, resists the will of the +tyrant and gives pious sepulture to her brother. She loves the son +of the tyrant, and that son loves her also. And as she goes on her +way to execution, the victim of her own sweet piety, the old men +sing, "Invincible Love, O Thou who dost descend upon rich houses,-- +Thou who dost rest upon the delicate cheek of the maiden."... + +"Mademoiselle Jeanne, are you really very anxious to know what I am +reading? I am reading, Mademoiselle--I am reading that Antigone, +having buried the blind old man, wove a fair tapestry embroidered +with images in the likeness of laughing faces." + +"Ah!" said Gelis, as he burs out laughing "that is not in the text." + +"It is a scholium," I said. + +"Unpublished," he added, getting up. + + +I am not an egotist. But I am prudent. I have to bring up this +child; she is much too young to be married now. No! I am not an +egotist, but I must certainly keep her with me for a few years more-- +keep her alone with me. She can surely wait until I am dead! Fear +not, Antigone, old Oedipus will find holy burial soon enough. + +In the meanwhile, Antigone is helping our housekeeper to scrape the +carrots. She says she like to do it--that it is in her line, being +related to the art of sculpture. + + +May. + + +Who would recognise the City of Books now? There are flowers +everywhere--even upon all the articles of furniture. Jeanne was +right: those roses do look very nice in that blue china vase. She +goes to market every day with Therese, under the pretext of helping +the old servant to make her purchases, but she never brings anything +back with her except flowers. Flowers are really very charming +creatures. And one of these days, I must certainly carry out my +plan, and devote myself to the study of them, in their own natural +domain, in the country--with all the science and earnestness which +I possess. + +For what have I to do here? Why should I burn my eyes out over these +old parchments which cannot now tell me anything worth knowing? I +used to study them, these old texts, with the most ardent enjoyment. +What was it which I was then so anxious to find in them? The date +of a pious foundation--the name of some monkish imagier or copyist-- +the price of a loaf, of an ox, or of a field--some judicial or +administrative enactment--all that, and yet something more, a +Something vaguely mysterious and sublime which excited my enthusiasm. +But for sixty years I have been searching in vain for that Something. +Better men than I--the masters, the truly great, the Fauriels, the +Thierrys, who found so many things--died at their task without having +been able, any more than I have been, to find that Something which, +being incorporeal, has no name, and without which, nevertheless, no +great mental work would ever be undertaken in this world. And now +that I am only looking for what I should certainly be able to find, +I cannot find anything at all; and it is probable that I shall never +be able to finish the history of the Abbots of Saint-Germain-des- +Pres. + +"Guardian, just guess what I have in my handkerchief," + +"Judging from appearances, Jeanne, I should say flowers." + +"Oh, no--not flowers. Look!" + +I look, and I see a little grey head poking itself out of the +handkerchief. It is the head of a little grey cat. The handkerchief +opens; the animal leaps down upon the carpet, shakes itself, pricks +up first one ear and then the other, and begins to examine with due +caution the locality and the inhabitants thereof. + +Therese, out of breath, with her basket on her arm, suddenly makes +her appearance in time to take an objective part in this examination, +which does not appear to result altogether in her favour; for the +young cat moves slowly away from her, without, however, venturing +near my legs, or approaching Jeanne, who displays extraordinary +volubility in the use of caressing appellations. Therese, whose +chief fault is her inability to hide her feelings, thereupon +vehemently reproaches Mademoiselle for bringing home a cat that she +did not know anything about. Jeanne, in order to justify herself, +tells the whole story. While she was passing with Therese before +a chemist's shop, she saw the assistant kick a little cat into the +street. The cat, astonished and frightened, seemed to be asking +itself whether to remain in the street where it was being terrified +and knocked about by the people passing by, or whether to go back +into the chemist's even at the risk of being kicked out a second +time. Jeanne thought it was in a very critical position, and +understood its hesitation. It looked so stupid; and she knew it +looked stupid only because it could not decide what to do. So she +took it up in her arms. And as it had not been able to obtain +any rest either indoors out out-of-doors, it allowed her to hold +it. Then she stroked and petted it to keep it from being afraid, +and boldly went to the chemist's assistant and said, + +"If you don't like that animal, you mustn't beat it; you must give +it to me." + +"Take it," said the assistant. + +..."Now there!" adds Jeanne, by way of conclusion; and then she +changes her voice again to a flute-tone in order to say all kinds +of sweet things to the cat. + +"He is horribly thin," I observe, looking at the wretched animal;-- +"moreover, he is horribly ugly." Jeanne thinks he is not ugly at +all, but she acknowledges that he looks even more stupid than he +looked at first: this time she thinks it not indecision, but +surprise, which gives that unfortunate aspect to his countenance. +She asks us to imagine ourselves in his place;--then we are obliged +to acknowledge that he cannot possibly understand what has happened +to him. And then we all burst out laughing in the face of the poor +little beast, which maintains the most comical look of gravity. +Jeanne wants to take him up; but he hides himself under the table, +and cannot even be tempted to come out by the lure of a saucer of +milk. + +We all turn our backs and promise not to look; when we inspect the +saucer again, we find it empty. + +"Jeanne," I observe, "your protege has a decidedly tristful aspect +of countenance; he is of sly and suspicious disposition; I trust he +is not going to commit in the City of Books any such misdemeanours +as might render it necessary for us to send him back to his chemist's +shop. In the meantime we must give him a name. Suppose we call him +'Don Gris de Gouttiere'; but perhaps that is too long. 'Pill,' +'Drug,' or 'Castor-oil' would be short enough, and would further +serve to recall his early condition in life. What do you think about +it? + +"'Pill' would not sound bad," answers Jeanne, "but it would be very +unkind to give him a name which would be always reminding him of +the misery from which we saved him. It would be making him pay too +dearly for our hospitality. Let us be more generous, and give him +a pretty name, in hopes that he is going to deserve it. See how +he looks at us! He knows that we are talking about him. And now +that he is no longer unhappy, he is beginning to look a great deal +less stupid. I am not joking! Unhappiness does make people look +stupid,--I am perfectly sure it does." + +"Well, Jeanne, if you like, we will call your protege Hannibal. +The appropriateness of that name does not seem to strike you at once. +But the Angora cat who preceded him here as an intimate of the City +of Books, and to whom I was in the habit of telling all my secrets-- +for he was a very wise and discreet person--used to be called +Hamilcar. It is natural that this name should beget the other, and +that Hannibal should succeed Hamilcar." + +We all agreed upon this point. + +"Hannibal!" cried Jeanne, "come here!" + +Hannibal, greatly frightened by the strange sonority of his own name, +ran to hid himself under a bookcase in an orifice so small that a +rat could not have squeezed himself into it. + +A nice way of doing credit to so great a name! + + +I was in a good humour for working that day, and I had just dipped +the nib of my pen into the ink-bottle when I heard some one ring. +Should any one ever read these pages written by an unimaginative +old man, he will be sure to laugh at the way that bell keeps ringing +through my narrative, without ever announcing the arrival of a new +personage or introducing any unexpected incident. On the stage +things are managed on the reverse principle. Monsieur Scribe never +has the curtain raised without good reason, and for the greater +enjoyment of ladies and young misses. That is art! I would rather +hang myself than write a play,--not that I despise life, but because +I should never be able to invent anything amusing. Invent! In +order to do that one must have received the gift of inspiration. +It would be a very unfortunate thing for me to possess such a gift. +Suppose I were to invent some monkling in my history of the Abbey +of Saint-Germain-des-Pres! What would our young erudites say? +What a scandal for the School! As for the Institute, it would say +nothing and probably not even think about the matter either. Even +if my colleagues still write a little sometimes, they never read. +They are of the opinion of Parny, who said, + + "Une paisible indifference + Est la plus sage des vertus." + ["The most wise of the virtues is a calm indifference."] + +To be the least wise in order to become the most wise--this is +precisely what those Buddhists are aiming at without knowing it. +If there is any wiser wisdom than that I will go to Rome to report +upon it.... And all this because Monsieur Gelis happened to ring +the bell! + +This young man has latterly changed his manner completely with +Jeanne. He is now quite as serious as he used to be frivolous, and +quite as silent as he used to be chatty. And Jeanne follows his +example. We have reached the phase of passionate love under +constraint. For, old as I am, I cannot be deceived about it: +these two children are violently and sincerely in love with each +other. Jeanne now avoids him--she hides herself in her room when +he comes into the library--but how well she knows how to reach him +when she is alone! alone at her piano! Every evening she talks to +him through the music she plays with a rich thrill of passional +feeling which is the new utterance of her new soul. + +Well, why should I not confess it? Why should I not avow my weakness? +Surely my egotism would not become any less blameworthy by keeping +it hidden from myself? So I will write it. Yes! I was hoping for +something else;--yes! I thought I was going to keep her all to myself, +as my own child, as my own daughter--not always, of course, not even +perhaps for very long, but just for a few short years more. I am +so old! Could she not wait? And, who knows? With the help of the +gout, I would not have imposed upon her patience too much. That +was my wish; that was my hope. I had made my plans--I had not +reckoned upon the coming of this wild young man. But the mistake +is none the less cruel because my reckoning happened to be wrong. +And yet it seems to me that you are condemning yourself very rashly, +friend Sylvestre Bonnard: if you did want to keep this young girl +a few years longer, it was quite as much in her own interest as in +yours. She has a great deal to learn yet, and you are not a master +to be despised. When that miserable notary Mouche--who subsequently +committed his rascalities at so opportune a moment--paid you the +honour of a visit, you explained to him your ideas of education with +all the fervour of high enthusiasm. Then you attempted to put that +system of yours into practice;--Jeanne is certainly an ungrateful +girl, and Gelis a much too seductive young man! + +But still,--unless I put him out of the house, which would be a +detestably ill-mannered and ill-natured thing to do,--I must continue +to receive him. He has been waiting ever so long in my little +parlour, in front of those Sevres vases with which King Louis Philippe +so graciously presented me. The Moissonneurs and the Pecheurs +of Leopold Robert are painted upon those porcelain vases, which +Gelis nevertheless dares to call frightfully ugly, with the warm +approval of Jeanne, whom he has absolutely bewitched. + +"My dear lad, excuse me for having kept you waiting so long. I had +a little bit of work to finish." + +I am telling the truth. Meditation is work, but of course Gelis +does not know what I mean; he thinks I am referring to something +archaeological, and, his question in regard to the health of +Mademoiselle Jeanne having been answered by a "Very well indeed," +uttered in that extremely dry tone which reveals my moral authority +as guardian, we begin to converse about historical subjects. We +first enter upon generalities. Generalities are sometimes extremely +serviceable. I try to inculcate into Monsieur Gelis some respect +for that generation of historians to which I belong. I say to him, + +"History, which was formerly an art, and which afforded place for +the fullest exercise of the imagination, has in our time become a +science, the study of which demands absolute exactness of knowledge." + +Gelis asks leave to differ from me on this subject. He tells me he +does not believe that history is a science, or that it could possibly +ever become a science. + +"In the first place," he says to me, "what is history? The written +representation of past events. But what is an event? Is it merely +a commonplace fact? It is any fact? No! You say yourself it is +a noteworthy fact. Now, how is the historian to tell whether a fact +is noteworthy or not? He judges it arbitrarily, according to his +tastes and his caprices and his ideas--in short, as an artist? For +facts cannot by reason of their own intrinsic character be divided +into historical facts and non-historical facts. But any fact is +something exceedingly complex. Will the historian represent facts +in all their complexity? No, that is impossible. Then he will +represent them stripped of the greater part of the peculiarities +which constituted them, and consequently lopped, mutilated, +different from what they really were. As for the inter-relation of +facts, needless to speak of it! If a so-called historical fact +be brought into notice--as is very possible--by one or more facts +which are not historical at all, and are for that very reason +unknown, how is the historian going to establish the relation of +these facts one to another? And in saying this, Monsieur Bonnard, +I am supposing that the historian has positive evidence before him, +whereas in reality he feels confidence only in such or such a witness +for sympathetic reasons. History is not a science; it is an art, +and one can succeed in that art only through the exercise of his +faculty of imagination." + +Monsieur Gelis reminds me very much at this moment of a certain young +fool whom I heard talking wildly one day in the garden of the +Luxembourg, under the statue of Marguerite of Navarre. But at another +turn of the conversation we find ourselves face to face with Walter +Scott, whose work my disdainful young friend pleases to term +"rococo, troubadourish, and only fit to inspire somebody engaged in +making designs for cheap bronze clocks." Those are his very words! + +"Why!" I exclaim, zealous to defend the magnificent creator of 'The +Bride of Lammermoor' and 'The Fair Maid of Perth,' "the whole past +lives in those admirable novels of his;--that is history, that is +epic!" + +"It is frippery," Gelis answers me. + +And,--will you believe it?--this crazy boy actually tells me that +no matter how learned one may be, one cannot possibly know just how +men used to live five or ten centuries ago, because it is only with +the very greatest difficulty that one can picture them to oneself +even as they were only ten or fifteen years ago. In his opinion, +the historical poem, the historical novel, the historical painting, +are all, according to their kind, abominably false as branches of +art. + +"In all the arts," he adds, "the artist can only reflect his own +soul. His work, no matter how it may be dressed up, is of necessity +contemporary with himself, being the reflection of his own mind. +What do we admire in the 'Divine Comedy' unless it be the great +soul of Dante? And the marbles of Michael Angelo, what do they +represent to us that is at all extraordinary unless it be Michael +Angelo himself? The artist either communicates his own life to +his creations, or else merely whittles out puppets and dresses up +dolls." + +What a torrent of paradoxes and irreverences! But boldness in a +young man is not displeasing to me. Gelis gets up from his chair +and sits down again. I know perfectly well what is worrying him, +and whom he is waiting for. And now he begins to talk to me about +his being able to make fifteen hundred francs a year, to which he +can add the revenue he derives from a little property that he has +inherited--two thousand francs a year more. And I am not in the +least deceived as to the purpose of these confidences on his part. +I know perfectly well that he is only making his little financial +statements in order to persuade me that he is comfortably +circumstanced, steady, fond of home, comparatively independent--or, +to put the matter in the fewest words possible, able to marry. +Quod erat demonstrandum,--as the geometricians say. + +He has got up and sat down just twenty times. He now rises for the +twenty-first time; and, as he has not been able to see Jeanne, he +goes away feeling as unhappy as possible. + +The moment he has gone, Jeanne comes into the City of Books, under +the pretext of looking for Hannibal. She is also quite unhappy; +and her voice becomes singularly plaintive as she calls her pet to +give him some milk. Look at that sad little face, Bonnard! Tyrant, +gaze upon thy work! Thou hast been able to keep them from seeing +each other; but they have now both of them the same expression of +countenance, and thou mayest discern from that similarity of +expression that in spite of thee they are united in thought. +Cassandra, be happy! Bartholo, rejoice! This is what it means to +be a guardian! Just see her kneeling down there on the carpet with +Hannibal's head between her hands! + +Yes, caress the stupid animal!--pity him!--moan over him!--we know +very well, you little rogue, the real cause of all these sighs and +plaints! Nevertheless, it makes a very pretty picture. I look at +it for a long time; then, throwing a glance around my library, I +exclaim, + +"Jeanne, I am tired of all those books; we must sell them." + + +September 20. + + +It is done!--they are betrothed. Gelis, who is an orphan, as Jeanne +is, did not make his proposal to me in person. He got one of his +professors, an old colleague of mine, highly esteemed for his +learning and character, to come to me on his behalf. But what a +love messenger! Great Heavens! A bear--neat a bear of the Pyrenees, +but a literary bear, and this latter variety of bear is much more +ferocious than the former. + +"Right or wrong (in my opinion wrong) Gelis says that he does not +want any dowry; he takes your ward with nothing but her chemise. +Say yes, and the thing is settled! Make haste about it! I want to +show you two or three very curious old tokens from Lorraine which +I am sure you never saw before." + +That is literally what he said to me. I answered him that I would +consult Jeanne, and I found no small pleasure in telling him that +my ward had a dowry. + +Her dowry--there it is in front of me! It is my library. Henri and +Jeanne have not even the faintest suspicion about it; and the fact +is I am commonly believed to be much richer than I am. I have the +face of an old miser. It is certainly a lying face; but its +untruthfulness has often won for me a great deal of consideration. +There is nobody so much respected in this world as a stingy rich man. + +I have consulted Jeanne,--but what was the need of listening for her +answer? It is done! They are betrothed. + +It would ill become my character as well as my face to watch these +young people any longer for the mere purpose of noting down their +words and gestures. Noli me tangere:--that is the maxim for all +charming love affairs. I know my duty. It is to respect all the +little secrets of that innocent soul intrusted to me. Let these +children love each other all they can! Never a word of their +fervent outpouring of mutual confidences, never a hint of their +artless self-betrayals, will be set down in this diary by the old +guardian whose authority was so gentle and so brief. + +At all events, I am not going to remain with my arms folded; and if +they have their business to attend to, I have mine also. I am +preparing a catalogue of my books, with a view to having them all +sold at auction. It is a task which saddens and amuses me at the +same time. I linger over it, perhaps a good deal longer than I +ought to do; turning the leaves of all those works which have become +so familiar to my thought, to my touch, to my sight--even out of +all necessity and reason. But it is a farewell; and it has ever +been in the nature of man to prolong a farewell. + +This ponderous volume here, which has served me so much for thirty +long years, how can I leave it without according it every kindness +that a faithful servant deserves? And this one again, which has so +often consoled me by its wholesome doctrines, must I not bow down +before it for the last time, as to a Master? But each time that I +meet with a volume which led me into error, which ever afflicted me +with false dates, omissions, lies, and other plagues of the +archaeologist, I say to it with bitter joy: "Go! imposter, traitor, +false-witness! flee thou far away from me for ever;--vade retro! +all absurdly covered with gold as thou art! and I pray it may befall +thee--thanks to thy usurped reputation and thy comely morocco attire-- +to take thy place in the cabinet of some banker-bibliomaniac, whom +thou wilt never be able to seduce as thou has seduced me, because +he will never read one single line of thee." + +I laid aside some books I must always keep--those books which were +given to me as souvenirs. As I placed among them the manuscript of +the "Golden Legend," I could not but kiss it in memory of Madame +Trepof, who remained grateful to me in spite of her high position +and all her wealth, and who became my benefactress merely to prove +to me that she felt I had once done her a kindness.... Thus I had +made a reserve. It was then that, for the first time, I felt myself +inclined to commit a deliberate crime. All through that night I +was strongly tempted; by morning the temptation had become +irresistible. Everybody else in the house was still asleep. I got +out of bed and stole softly from my room. + +Ye powers of darkness! ye phantoms of the night! if while lingering +within my home after the crowing of the cock, you saw me stealing +about on tiptoe in the City of Books, you certainly never cried out, +as Madame Trepof did at Naples, "That old man has a good-natured +round back!" I entered the library; Hannibal, with his tail +perpendicularly erected, came to rub himself against my legs and +purr. I seized a volume from its shelf, some venerable Gothic text +or some noble poet of the Renaissance--the jewel, the treasure which +I had been dreaming about all night, I seized it and slipped it away +into the very bottom of the closet which I had reserved for those +books I intended to retain, and which soon became full almost to +bursting. It is horrible to relate: I was stealing from the dowry +of Jeanne! And when the crime had been consummated I set myself +again sturdily to the task of cataloguing, until Jeanne came to +consult me in regard to something about a dress or a trousseau. I +could not possibly understand just what she was talking about, +through my total ignorance of the current vocabulary of dress-making +and linen-drapery. Ah! if a bride of the fourteenth century had +come to talk to me about the apparel of her epoch, then, indeed, I +should have been able to understand her language! But Jeanne does +not belong to my time, and I have to send her to Madame de Gabry, +who on this important occasion will take the place of her mother. + +...Night has come! Leaning from the window, we gaze at the vast +sombre stretch of the city below us, pierced with multitudinous points +of light. Jeanne presses her hand to her forehead as she leans upon +the window-bar, and seems a little sad. And I say to myself as I +watch her: All changes even the most longed for, have their +melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves: +we must die to one life before we can enter into another! + +And as if answering my thought, the young girl murmurs to me, + +"My guardian, I am so happy; and still I feel as if I wanted to cry!" + + + + +The Last Page + + +August 21, 1869. + +Page eighty-seven.... Only twenty lines more and I shall have +finished my book about insects and flowers. Page eighty-seventh and +last.... "As we have already seen, the visits of insects are of the +utmost importance to plants; since their duty is to carry to the +pistils the pollen of the stamens. It seems also that the flower +itself is arranged and made attractive for the purpose of inviting +this nuptial visit. I think I have been able to show that the +nectary of the plant distils a sugary liquid which attracts the +insects and obliges it to aid unconsciously in the work of direct +or cross fertilisation. The last method of fertilisation is the more +common. I have shown that flowers are coloured and perfumed so as +to attract insects, and interiorly so constructed as to offer those +visitors such a mode of access that they cannot penetrate into the +corolla without depositing upon the stigma the pollen with which +they have been covered. My most venerated master Sprengel observes +in regard to that fine down which lines the corolla of the wood- +geranium: 'The wise Author of Nature has never created a single +useless hair!' I say in my turn: If that Lily of the Valley whereof +the Gospel makes mention is more richly clad than King Solomon in +all his glory, its mantle of purple is a wedding-garment, and that +rich apparel is necessary to the perpetuation of the species." + +"Brolles, August 21, 1869." + +[Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard was not aware that several very +illustrious naturalists were making researches at the same time as he +in regard to the relation between insects and plants. He was not +acquainted with the labours of Darwin, with those of Dr. Hermann +Muller, nor with the observations of Sir John Lubbock. It is worthy +of note that the conclusions of Monsieur Sylvestre Bonnard are very +nearly similar to those reached by the three scientists above +mentioned. Less important, but perhaps equally interesting, is the +fact that Sir John Lubbock is, like Monsieur Bonnard, an archaeologist +who began to devote himself only late in life to the natural +sciences.--Note by the French Editor.] + +Brolles! My house is the last one you pass in the single street of +the village, as you go to the woods. It is a gabled house with a +slate roof, which takes iridescent tints in the sun like a pigeon's +breast. The weather-vane above that roof has won more consideration +for me among the country people than all my works upon history and +philology. There is not a single child who does not know Monsieur +Bonnard's weather-vane. It is rusty, and squeaks very sharply in +the wind. Sometimes it refuses to do any work at all--just like +Therese, who now allows herself to be assisted by a young peasant +girl--though she grumbles a good deal about it. The house is not +large, but I am very comfortable in it. My room has two windows, +and gets the sun in the morning. The children's room is upstairs. +Jeanne and Henri come twice a year to occupy it. + +Little Sylvestre's cradle used to be in it. He was a very pretty +child, but very pale. When he used to play on the grass, his mother +would watch him very anxiously; and every little while she would +stop her seweing in order to take him upon her lap. The poor little +fellow never wanted to go to sleep. He used to say that when he +was asleep he would go away, very far away, to some place where it +was all dark, and where he saw things that made him afraid--things +he never wanted to see again. + +Then his mother would call me, and I would sit down beside his cradle. +He would take one of my fingers in his little dry warm hand, and say +to me, + +"Godfather, you must tell me a story." + +Then I would tell him all kinds of stories, which he would listen to +very seriously. They all interested him, but there was one especially +which filled his little soul with delight. It was "The Blue Bird." +Whenever I finished that, he would say to me, "Tell it again! tell +it again!" And I would tell it again until his little pale blue- +veined head sank back upon the pillow in slumber. + +The doctor used to answer all our questions by saying, + +"There is nothing extraordinary the matter with him!" + +No! There was nothing extraordinary the matter with little Sylvestre. +One evening last year his father called me. + +"Come," he said, "the little one is still worse." + +I approached the cradle over which the mother hung motionless, as +if tied down above it by all the powers of her soul. + +Little Sylvestre turned his eyes towards me; their pupils had already +rolled up beneath his eyelids, and could not descend again. + +"Godfather," he said, "you are not to tell me any more stories." + +No, I was not to tell him any more stories! + +Poor Jeanne!--poor mother! + +I am too old now to feel very deeply; but how strangely painful a +mystery is the death of a child! + + +To-day, the father and mother have come to pass six weeks under the +old man's roof. I see them now returning from the woods, walking +arm-in-arm. Jeanne is closely wrapped in her black shawl, and Henri +wears a crape band on his straw hat; but they are both of them +radiant with youth, and they smile very sweetly at each other. They +smile at the earth which sustains them; they smile at the air which +bathes them; they smile at the light which each one sees in the eyes +of the other. From my window I wave my handkerchief at them,--and +they smile at my old age. + +Jeanne comes running lightly up the stairs; she kisses me, and then +whispers in my ear something which I divine rather than hear. And +I make answer to her: "May God's blessing be with you, Jeanne, and +with your husband, and with your children, and with your children's +children for ever!"... Et nunc dimittis servum tuum, Domine! + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext The Crime of Sylvestre Bonnard, by France + diff --git a/old/2000-03-tcosb10.zip b/old/2000-03-tcosb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..632cb8c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/2000-03-tcosb10.zip |