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diff --git a/23016.txt b/23016.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a94a9a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/23016.txt @@ -0,0 +1,960 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of P'laski's Tunament, by Thomas Nelson Page + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: P'laski's Tunament + 1891 + +Author: Thomas Nelson Page + +Release Date: October 12, 2007 [EBook #23016] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK P'LASKI'S TUNAMENT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + + + +P'LASKI'S TUNAMENT. + +By Thomas Nelson Page + +1891 + +I had the good fortune to come from "the old county of Hanover," as that +particular division of the State of Virginia is affectionately called +by nearly all who are so lucky as to have first seen the light amid its +broom-straw fields and heavy forests; and to this happy circumstance I +owed the honor of a special visit from one of its most loyal citizens. +Indeed, the glories of his native county were so embalmed in his +memory and were so generously and continuously imparted to all his +acquaintances, that he was in the county of his adoption universally +known after an absence of forty years as "Old Hanover." I had not been +long in F---- when I was informed that I might, in right of the good +fortune respecting my birthplace, to which I have referred, expect +a visit from my distinguished fellow-countyman, and thus I was not +surprised, when one afternoon a message was brought in that "Ole Hanover +was in the yard, and had called to pay his bes' bespecks to de gent'raan +what hed de honor to come f'om de ole county." + +I immediately went out, followed by my host, to find that the visit was +attended with a formality which raised it almost to the dignity of a +ceremonial. "Old Hanover" was accompanied by his wife, and was attended +by quite a number of other negroes, who had followed him either out of +curiosity excited by the importance he had attached to the visit, or +else in the desire to shine in reflected glory as his friends. "Old +Hanover" himself stood well out in front of the rest, like an old +African chief in state with his followers behind him about to receive an +embassy. He was arrayed with great care, in a style which I thought at +first glance was indicative of the clerical calling, but which I soon +discovered was intended to be merely symbolical of approximation to the +dignity which was supposed to pertain to that profession. He wore a very +long and baggy coat which had once been black, but was now tanned by +exposure to a reddish brown, a vest which looked as if it had been +velvet before the years had eaten the nap from it, and changed it into a +fabric not unlike leather. His shirt was obviously newly washed for +the occasion, and his high clean collar fell over an ample and somewhat +bulging white cloth, which partook of the qualities of both stock and +necktie. His skin was of that lustrous black which shines as if freshly +oiled, and his face was closely shaved except for two tufts of short, +white hair, one on each side, which shone like snow against his black +cheeks. He wore an old and very quaint beaver, and a pair of large, +old-fashioned, silver-rimmed spectacles, which gave him an air of +portentous dignity. + +When I first caught sight of him, he was leaning on a long hickory +stick, which might have been his staff of state, and his face was set in +an expression of superlative importance. As I appeared, however, he at +once removed his hat, and taking a long step forward, made me a profound +bow. I was so much impressed by him, that I failed to catch the whole +of the grandiloquent speech with which he greeted me. I had evidently +secured his approval; for he boldly declared that he "would 'a' +recognizated me for one of de rail quality ef he had foun' me in a +cuppen." I was immediately conscious of the effect which his endorsement +produced on his companions. They regarded me with new interest, if any +expression so bovine deserved to be thus characterized. + +"I tell dese folks up heah dee don't know nuthin' 'bout rail quality," +he asserted with a contemptuous wave of his arm, which was manifestly +intended to embrace the entire section in its comprehensive sweep. "Dee +'ain' nuver had no 'quaintance wid it," he explained, condescendingly. +His friends accepted this criticism with proper submissive-ness. + +"De Maconses, de Berkeleyses, de Carterses, de Bassettses, de +Wickhamses, de Nelsonses, an' dem!"--(the final ending "es" was plainly +supposed to give additional dignity)--"now _dee_ is sho 'nough quality. +I know all 'bout 'em." He paused long enough to permit this to sink in. + +"I b'longst to Doc' Macon. _You_ know what _he_ wuz?" + +His emphasis compelled me to acknowledge his exalted position or abandon +forever all hope of retaining my own; so I immediately assented, and +inquired how long he had been in "this country," as he designated his +adopted region. He turned with some severity to one of his companions, a +stout and slatternly woman, very black, and many years his junior. + +"How long is I been heah, Lucindy?" + +The woman addressed, by way of answer, turned half away, and gave a +little nervous laugh. "I don't know how long you been heah, you been +heah so long; mos' forty years, I reckon." This sally called from her +companions a little ripple of amusement. + +"Dat's my wife, suh," the old gentleman explained, apologetically. +"She's de one I got now; she come f'om up heah in dis ken-try." His +voice expressed all that the words were intended to convey. Lucindy, who +appeared accustomed to such contemptuous reference, merely gave another +little explosion which shook her fat shoulders. + +As, however, I was expected to endorse all his views, I changed the +embarrassing subject by inquiring how he had happened to leave the old +county. + +"Ole marster gi' me to Miss Fanny when she ma'yed Marse William +Fitzhugh," he explained. "I wuz ma'yed den to Marth' Ann; she wuz Miss +Fanny's maid, an' when she come up heah wid Miss Fanny, I recompany +her." He would not admit that his removal was a permanent one. "I al'ays +layin' out to go back home, but I 'ain' been yit. Dee's mos' all daid +b'fo' dis, suh?" + +He spoke as if this were a fact, but there was a faint inquiry in +his eyes if not in his tone. I was sorry not to be able to inform +him differently, and, to change the subject, I started to ask him a +question. "Martha Ann--" I began, and then paused irresolute. + +"She's daid too," he said simply. + +"How many children have you?" I asked. + +"I 'ain' got but beah one now, suh, ef I got dat one," he replied; +"dat's P'laski." + +"How many have you had?" + +"Well, suh, dat's a partic'lar thing to tell," he said, with a whimsical +look on his face. "De Scripturs says you is to multiply an' replanish de +uth; but I s'pecks I's had some several mo'n my relowance; dar's Jeems, +an' Peter, an' Jeremiah, an' Hezekiah, an' Zekyel, Ananias an' Malachi, +Matthew an' Saint Luke, besides de gals. Dee's all gone; an' now I 'ain' +got but jes dat P'laski. He's de wuthlisses one o' de whole gang. He +tecks after his mammy." + +The reference to Pulaski appeared to occasion some amusement among his +friends, and I innocently inquired if he was Martha Ann's son. + +"Nor, _suh, dat_ he warn'!" was the vehement and indignant answer. "Ef +he had 'a' been, he nuver would 'a' got me into all dat trouble. Dat wuz +de mortification o' my life, suh. He got all dat meanness fom his mammy. +Dat ooman dyah is his mammy." He indicated the plump Lucindy with his +long stick, which he poked at her contemptuously. "Dat's what I git for +mar'yin' one o' dese heah up-kentry niggers!" The "up-kentry" spouse +was apparently quite accustomed to this characterization, for she simply +looked away, rather in embarrassment at my gaze being directed to her +than under any stronger emotion. Her liege continued: "Lucindy warn' +quality like me an' Marth' Ann, an' her son tooken after her. What's in +de myah will come out in de colt; an' he is de meanes' chile I uver had. +I name de urrs fom de Scriptur', but he come o' a diff'-ent stock, an' +I name him arter Mr. P'laski Greener, whar Lucindy use' to b'longst +to, an' I reckon maybe dat's de reason he so natchally evil. I had mo' +trouble by recount o' dat boy 'n I hed when I los' Marth' Ann." + +The old fellow threw back his head and gave a loud "Whew!" actually +removing his large spectacles in his desperation at Pulaski's +wickedness. Again there was a suppressed chuckle from his friends; so, +seeing that some mystery attached to the matter, I put a question which +started him. + +"Well, I'll tell you, suh," he began. "Hit all growed out of a tunament, +suh. You an' I knows all discerning tunaments, 'cuz we come f'om de ole +county o' Hanover, whar de _raise_ tunaments"--(he referred to them as +if they had been a species of vegetables)--"but we 'ain' nuver hearn de +modification of a _nigger_ ridin' in a tunament?" + +I admitted this, and, after first laying his hat carefully on the +ground, he proceeded: + +"Well, you know, suh, dat P'laski got de notionment in he haid dat he +wuz to ride in a tunament. He got dat f'om dat ooman." He turned and +pointed a trembling finger at his uncomplaining spouse; and then slowly +declared, "Lord! I wuz outdone dat day." + +I suggested that possibly he had not followed Solomon's injunction as +rigidly as Pulaski's peculiar traits of character had demanded; but he +said promptly: + +"Yes, suh, I did. I whupped him faithful; but he took whuppin' like a +ole steer. Hickory didn' 'pear to have no 'feck on him. He didn' had no +memory; he like a ole steer: got a thick skin an' a short memory; he wuz +what I call one o' dese disorde'ly boys." + +He paused long enough to permit this term, taken from the police court +reports, to make a lodgement, and then proceeded: + +"He wuz so wuthless at home, I hired him out to ole Mis' Twine for fo' +dollars an' a half a mont'--an' more'n he wuth, too!--to see ef po' +white ooman kin git any wuck out'n him. A po' white ooman kin git +wuck out a nigger ef anybody kin, an' 'twuz down dyah that he got had +foolishness lodgicated in he haid. You see, ole Mis' Twine warn' so fur +f'om Wash'n'n. Nigger think ef he kin git to Wash'n'n, he done got in +heaven. Well, I hire him to ole Mis' Twine, 'cuz I think she'll keep +P'laski straight, an' ef I don' git but one fo' dollars an' a half f'om +him, hit's dat much; but 'pear like he got to runnin' an' consortin' +wid some o' dem urr free-issue niggers roun' dyah, an' dee larne him mo' +foolishness'n I think dee able; 'cuz a full hawg cyarn drink no mo'." + +The old fellow launched out into diatribes against the "free issues," +who, he declared, expected to be "better than white folks, like white +folks ain' been free sense de wull begin." He, however, shortly returned +to his theme. + +"Well, fust thing I knowed, one Sunday I wuz settin' down in my house, +an' heah come P'laski all done fixed up wid a high collar on, mos' +high as ole master's, an' wid a better breeches on 'n I uver wear in my +_life_, an' wid a creevat! an' a cane! an' wid a seegar! He comes in de +do' an' hol' he seegar in he han', sort o' so" (illustrating), "an' he +teck off he hat kine o' flourishy 'whurr,' an' say, 'Good mornin', pa +an' ma.' He mammy--_dat_ she--monsus pleaged wid dem manners; she ain' +know no better; but I ain' nuver like nobody to gobble roun' _me_, an' I +say, 'Look heah, boy, don' fool wid me; I ain' feelin' well to-day, +an' ef you fool wid me, when I git done wid you, you oon feel well +you'self.' Den he kine o' let he feathers down; an' presney he say he +warn me to len' him three dollars an' a half. I ax him what he warn do +wid it, 'cuz I know I ain' gwine len' to him--jes well len' money to a +mus'-rat hole;--an' he say he warn it for a tunament. + +"'Hi!' I say, 'P'laski, what air a tunament?' I mecked out, you see, like +I ain' recognizated what he meck correspondence to; an' he start to say, +'A tunament, pa--' but I retch for a barrel hoop whar layin' by kine +o' amiable like, an' he stop, like young mule whar see mud-puddle in de +road, an' say, 'A tunament--a tunament is whar you gits 'pon a hoss wid +a pole, an' rides hard as you kin, an' pokes de pole at a ring, an'--' +When he gets right dyah, I interrup's him, an' I say, 'P'laski,' says +I, 'I's raised wid de fust o' folks, 'cuz I's raised wid de Ma-conses +at Doc' Macon's in Hanover, an' I's spectated fish fries, an' festibals, +an' bobby-cues; but I ain' nuver witness nuttin' like dat--a nigger +ridin' 'pon a hoss hard as he kin stave, an' nominatin' of it a +tunament,' I says. 'You's talkin' 'bout a hoss-race,' I says, ''cuz +dat's de on'yes' thing,' I says, 'a nigger rides in.' You know, suh," he +broke in suddenly, "you and I's seen many a hoss-race, 'cuz we come f'om +hoss kentry, right down dyah f'om whar Marse Torm Doswell live, an' we +done see hoss-races whar wuz hoss-races sho 'nough, at the ole Fyarfiel' +race-co'se, whar hosses used to run could beat buds flyin' an' so I tole +him. I tole him I nuver heah nobody but a po' white folks' nigger call +a hoss-race a tunament; an' I tole him I reckon de pole he talkin' 'bout +wuz de hick'ry dee used to tune de boys' backs wid recasionally when dee +didn' ride right. Dat cut him down might'ly, 'cuz dat ermine him o' de +hick'ries I done wyah out 'pon him; but he say, 'Nor, 'tis a long pole +whar you punch th'oo a ring, an' de one whar punch de moes, he crown de +queen.' I tole him dat de on'yes' queen I uver heah 'bout wuz a cow ole +master had, whar teck de fust prize at de State fyah in Richmond one +year; but he presist dat this wuz a tunament queen, and he warn three +dollars an' a half to get him a new shut an' to pay he part ov de +supper. Den I tole him ef he think I gwine give him three dollars an' a +half for dat foolishness he mus' think I big a fool as he wuz. Wid dat +he begin to act kine o' aggervated, which I teck for incidence, 'cuz I +nuver could abeah chillern ner women to be sullen roun' me; an' I gi' +him de notification dat ef I cotch him foolin' wid any tunament I gwine +ride him tell he oon know when he ain't a mule hisself; an' I gwine have +hick'ry pole dyah too. Den I tolt him he better go 'long back to ole +Mis' Twine, whar I done hire him to; an' when he see me pick up de +barrel hoop an' start to roll up my sleeve, he went; an' I heah he jine +dat Jim Sinkfiel', an' dat's what git me into all dat tribilation." + +"What got you in?" I inquired, in some doubt as to his meaning. + +"Dat tunament, suh. P'laski rid it! An' what's mo,' suh, he won de +queen,--one o' ole man Bob Sibley's impident gals,--an' when he come to +crown her, he crown her wid ole Mis' Twine's weddin'-ring!" + +There was a subdued murmur of amusement in the group behind him, and +I could not but inquire how he came to perform so extraordinary a +ceremony. + +"Dat I don' know, suh; but so 'twair. Fust information I had on it wuz +when I went down to ole Mis' Twine's to get he mont's weges. I received +de ontelligence on de way dat he had done lef dyah, an' dat ole +Mis' Twine gol' ring had lef by de same road at de same time. Dat +correspondence mortify me might'ly' cuz I hadn' raised P'laski no sich +a ways as dat. He was dat ooman's son to be sho' an' I knowed he +wuz wuthless, but still I hadn' respect him to steal ole Mis' Twine +wed-din'-ring, whar she wyah on her finger ev'y day, an' whar wuz gol' +too. I want de intimation 'bout de fo' dollars an' a half, so I went +'long; but soon as ole Mis' Twine see me she began to quoil. I tell her +I just come to git de reasonment o' de matter, an' I 'ain' got nuthin' +'tall to say 'bout P'laski. Dat jes like bresh on fire; she wuss'n +befo'. She so savigrous I tolt her I 'ain' nuver had nobody to +prevaricate nuttin' 'bout me; dat I b'longst to Doc' Macon, o' Hanover, +an' I ax her ef she knowed de Maconses. She say, nor, she 'ain' know +'em, nor she ain' nuver hearn on 'em, an' she wished she hadn' nuver +hearn on me an' my thievin' boy--dat's P'laski. Well, tell then, I +mighty consarned 'bout P'laski; but when she said she 'ain' nuver hearn +on the Maconses, I ain' altogether b'lieve P'laski done teck her ring, +cause I ain' know whether she got any ring; though I know sence the +tunament he mean enough for anything; an' I tolt her so, an' I tolt her +I wuz raised wid quality--sence she ain' know the Maconses, I ain' tole +her no mo' 'bout dem, 'cuz de Bible say you is not to cast pearls befo' +hawgs--an' dat I had tote de corn-house keys many a time, an' Marth' Ann +used to go in ole Mistis' trunks same as ole Mistis herself. Right dyah +she mought 'a' cotch me ef she had knowed that P'laski warn' Marth' +Ann's son; but she ain' know de Maconses, an' in cose she ain' 'quainted +wid de servants, so she don' know it. Well, suh, she rar an' she pitch. +Yo' nuver heah a ooman talk so befo' in yo' life; an' fust thing I knew +she gone in de house, she say she gwine git a gun an' run me off dat +lan', But I ain' wait for dat: don nobody have to git gun to run me off +dee lan'. I jes teck my foot in my han' an' come 'long way by myself, +'cuz I think maybe a ooman 'at could cuss like a man mout shoot like a +man too." + +"Where did you go and what did you do next?" I asked the old fellow as +he paused with a whimsical little nod of satisfaction at his wisdom. + +"I went home, suh," he said. "I heah on de way dat P'laski had sho +'nough done crownt Bob Sibly's gal, Lizzy Susan, wid de ring, an' dat he +wuz gwine to Wash'n'n, but wuz done come home to git some things b'f +o' he went; so I come straight 'long behinst him jes swif' as my foot +could teck me. I didn' was'e much time," he said, with some pride, "'cuz +he had done mighty nigh come gittin' me shot. I jes stop long 'nough to +cut me a bunch o' right keen hick'ries, an' I jes come 'long shakin' my +foot. When I got to my house I ain' fine nobody dyah but Lucindy--dat +ve'y ooman dyah"--pointing his long stick at her--"an' I lay my +hick'ries on de bed, an' ax her is she see P'laski. Fust she meek out +dat she ain' heah me, she so induschus; I nuver see her so induschus; +but when I meck 'quiration agin she bleeged to answer me, an' she 'spon' +dat she 'ain' see him; 'cuz she see dat my blood wuz up, an' she know +dee wuz trouble 'pendin' for P'laski. Dat worry me might'ly, an' I say, +'Lucindy, ef you is done meck dat boy resent hisself f'om heah, you is +done act like a po' white folks' nigger,' I say, 'an' you's got to beah +de depravity o' his transgression.' When I tolt her dat she nuver got +mad, 'cuz she know she air not quality like me an' Marth' Ann; but she +'pear right smartly disturbed, an' she 'clar' she ain' lay her eyes on +P'laski. She done 'clar' so partic'lar I mos' inclin' to b'lieve her; +but all on a suddent I heah some 'n' sneeze, 'Quechew!' De soun' come f +om onder de bed, an' I jes retch over an' gether in my bunch o' +hick'ries, an' I say, 'Come out!' Lucindy say, 'Dat's a cat'; an' I say, +'Yes,' I say, 'hit's a cat I gwine skin, too.' + +"I jes stoop down, an' peep onder de bed, an', sho 'nough, dyah wuz +P'laski squinch up onder dyah, cane an' seegar an' all, jes like a ole +hyah in a trap. I ketch him by de leg, an' juck him out, an'--don' you +know, suh, dat ooman had done put _my_ shut on dat boy, an' wuz +gettin' ready to precipitate him in flight! I tolt her it wuz p'intedly +oudacious for her an' her son, after he had done stolt ole Mis' Taine +weddin'-ring, to come to my own house an' rob me jes like I wuz a +hen-roos'!" + +"What reply did she make to that?" I asked, to facilitate his narrative. + +"She 'ain' possessed no reply to dat indictment," he said, pompously. +"She glad by dat time to remit me to terminate my excitement on P'laski, +an' so I did. He hollered tell dee say you could heah him two miles; he +fyahly lumbered." The old fellow gave a chuckle of satisfaction at the +reminiscence, and began to draw figures in the sand with his long stick. +Suddenly, however, he looked up. + +"Ef I had a-intimated how much tribilation dat lumberin' wuz gwine to +get me in, he nuver would 'a' hollered. Dat come o' dat chicken-stealin' +nigger Jem Sinkfiel'; he cyahed him off." + +He again became reflective, so I asked, "Haven't you seen him since?" + +"Oh, yes, suh, I seen him since," he answered. "I seen him after I come +out o' jail; but 'twuz a right close thing. I thought I wuz gone." + +"Gone! for whipping him?" "Nor, suh; 'bout de murder." + +"Murder?" + +"Yes, suh; murder o' him--o' P'laski." "But you did not murder him?" +"Nor, suh; an' dat wuz whar de trouble presisted. Ef I had a-murdered +him I'd 'a' knowed whar he wuz when dee wanted him; but, as 'twair, when +de time arrove, I wair unable to perduce him: and I come mighty nigh +forfeitin' my life." + +My exclamation of astonishment manifestly pleased him, and he proceeded +with increased gravity and carefulness of dictation: + +"You see, suh, 'twair dis way." He laid his stick carefully down, and +spreading open the yellowish palm of one hand, laid the index finger of +the other on it, as if it had been a map. "When I waked up nex' mornin' +an' called P'laski, he did not rappear. He had departured; an' so had my +shut! Ef 't hadn' been for de garment, I wouldn' 'a' keered so much, for +I knowed I'd git my han's on him some time: hawgs mos'ly comes up when +de acorns all gone! an' I know hick'ries ain't gwino stop growin': but +I wuz cawnsiderably tossified decernin' my garment, an' I gin Lucindy +a little direction 'bout dat. But I jos wont on gittin' my sumac, an' +whenever I como 'cross a right straight hick'ry, I geth-orod dat too, +an' laid it by, 'cus hick'ries grow mighty fine in ole fiel's whar +growin' up like. An' one day I wuz down in de bushes, an' Mr. 'Lias +Lumpkins, de constable, come rid-in' down dyah whar I wuz, an' ax me +whar P'laski is. Hit come in my mind torectly dat he warn' P'laski 'bout +de ring, an' I tell him I air not aware whar P'laski is: and den he tell +me he got warrant for me, and I mus' come on wid him. I still reposed, +in co'se, 'twuz 'bout de ring, an' I say I ain' had nuttin' to do wid +it. An' he say, 'Wid what?' An' I say, 'Wid de ring.' Den he say, 'Oh!' +an' he say, ''Tain' nuttin' 'bout de ring; 'tis for murder.' Well, I +know I ain' murder nobody, an' I ax him who dee say I done murder; an' +he ax me agin, 'Whar air P'laski?' I tell him I don' know whar P'laski +air: I know I ain' murder him! Well, suh, hit subsequently repeared +dat dis wuz de wuss thing I could 'a' said, 'cus when de trial come on, +Major Torm Woods made mo' o' dat 'n anything else at all; an' hit 'pears +like ef you's skused o' murder er steal-in', you mus'n' say you ain' do +it, 'cuz dat's dangersomer 'n allowing you _is_ do it. + +"Well, I went 'long wid him. I ax him to le' me go by my house; but he +say, nor, he 'ain' got time, dat he done been dyah. An' he teck me 'long +to de cote-house, an' _lock me up in de jail!_ an' lef' me dyah in de +dark on de rock flo'! An' dyah I rejourned all night long. An' I might +'a' been dyah now, ef 't hadn' been dat de co'te come on. Nex' mornin' +Mr. Landy Wilde come in dyah an' ax me how I gettin' on, an' ef I warn' +anything. I tell him I gettin' on toler'ble, an' I ain' warn' nuttin' +but a little tobacco. I warn' git out, but I knew I cyarn do dat, 'cuz +'twuz de ambitiouses smellin' place I ever smelt in my life. I tell you, +suh, I is done smell all de smells o' mink an' mus' an' puffume, but I +ain' nuver smell nuttin' like dat jail. Mr. Landy Wilde had to hole he +nose while he in dyah; an' he say he'll git de ole jedge to come an' ac' +as my council. I tell him, 'Nor; Gord put me in dyah, an' I reckon He'll +git me out when He ready.' I tell you, suh, I wair p'intedly ashamed for +de ole jedge, whar wuz a gent'man, to come in sich a scand'lous smellin' +place as dat. But de ole jedge come; an' he say it wuz a ------ shame to +put a humin in sich place, an' he'd git me bail; which I mus' say--even +ef he is a church member--might be ixcused ef you jes consider dat +smell. But when de cote meet, dee wouldn' gi' me no bail, 'cuz dee say +I done commit murder; an' I heah Jim Sinkfiel' an' Mr. Lumpkins an' ole +Mis' Twine went in an' tole de gran' jury I sutney had murder P'laski, +an' bury him down in de sumac bushes; an' dee had de gre't bundle o' +switches dee fine in my house, an' dee redite me, an' say ef I 'ain' +murder him, why'n't I go 'long an' pre-duce him. Dat's a curisome thing, +suh; dee tell you to go 'long and fine anybody, an' den lock you up in +jail a insec' couldn' get out." + +I agreed with him as to the apparent inconsistency of this, and he +proceeded: + +"Well, suh, at las' de trial come on; 'twuz April-cote, an' dee had me +in the cote-house, an' set me down in de cheer, wid de jury right +in front o' me, an' de jedge settin' up in he pulpit, lookin' mighty +aggrevated. Dat wuz de fus' time I 'gin to feel maybe I wuz sort o' +forgittin' things, I had done been thinkin' so much lately in jail 'bout +de ole doctor--dat's ole master--an' Marth' Ann, an' all de ole times +in Hanover, I wuz sort o' misty as I wuz settin' dyah in de cheer, an' I +jes heah sort o' buzzin' roun' me, an' I warn' altogether certified dat +I warn' back in ole Hanover. Den I heah 'em say dat de ole jedge +wuz tooken down an' wuz ixpected to die, an' dee ax me don' I want a +continuance. I don' know what dat mean, 'sep dee say I have to go back +to jail, an' sense I smell de fresh air I don' warn' do dat no mo'; so +I tell 'em, 'Nor; I ready to die.' An' den dee made me stan' up; an' dee +read dat long paper to me 'bout how I done murder P'laski; dee say I +had done whup him to death, an' had done shoot him, an' knock him in de +haid, an' kill him mo' ways 'n 'twould 'a' teck to kill him ef he had +been a cat. Lucindy wuz dyah. I had done had her gwine 'bout right smart +meckin' quiration for P'laski. At least she _say_ she had," he said, +with a sudden reservation, and a glance of some suspicion toward his +spouse. "An' dee wuz a whole parecel o' niggers stan'-in' roun' dyah, +black as buzzards roun' a ole hoss whar dyin'. An' don' you know, dat +Jim Sinkfiel' say he sutney hope dee would hang me, an' all jes 'cuz he +owe' me two dollars an' seventy-three cents, whar he ain' warn' pay me!" + +"Did you not have counsel?" I inquired. + +"Council?" + +"Yes--a lawyer." + +"Oh, nor, suh; dat is, I had council, but not a la'yar, edzactly," he +replied, with careful discrimination. "I had a some sort of a la'yer, +but not much of a one. I had ixpected ole Jedge Thomas to git me off; +'cuz he knowed me; he wuz a gent'man, like we is; but when he wuz tooken +sick so providential I wouldn' had no urrs; I lef' it to Gord. De jedge +ax me at de trial didn' I had no la'yar, and I tell him nor, not dyah; +an' he ax me didn' I had no money to get one; an' I er-spon' 'Nor, I +didn' had none,' although I had at dat time forty-three dollars an' +sixty-eight cents in a ole rag in my waistcoat linin', whar I had wid +me down in de sumac bushes, an' whar I thought I better hole on to, an' +'ain' made no mention on. So den de jedge ax me wouldn' I had a young +man dyah--a right tall young man; an' I enform him: 'Yes, suh. I didn' +reckon 'twould hu't none.' So den he come an' set by me an' say he wuz +my counsel." + +There was such a suggestion of contempt in his tone that I inquired if +he had not done very well. + +"Oh, yes, suh," he drawled, slowly, "he done toler'ble +well--considerin'. He do de bes' he kin, I reckon. He holler an' mix me +up some right smart; but dee wuz too strong for him; he warn' no mo' +to 'em 'n wurrm is to woodpecker. Major Torm Woods' de com-monwealph's +attorney, is a powerful la'yer; he holler so you kin heah him _three_ +mile. An' ole Mis' Twine wuz dyah, whar tell all 'bout de ring, an' +how impident I wuz to her dat day, an' skeer her to death. An' dat Jim +Sinkfiel', he wuz dyah, an' tolt' 'bout how I beat P'laski, an' how he +heah him 'way out in main road, hollerin' 'murder.' An' dee had de gre't +bundle o' hick'ries dyah, whar dee done fine in my house, an' dee had so +much _evidence_ dat presney I 'mos' begin to think maybe I had done kilt +P'laski sho 'nough, an' had disermembered it. An' I thought 'bout Marth' +Ann an' all de urr chil'ern, an' I wondered ef dee wuz to hang me ef I +wouldn' fine her; an' I got so I mos' hoped dee would sen' me. An den de +jury went out, an' stay some time, an' come back an' say I wuz guilty, +an' sen' me to de Pen'tentiy for six years." + +I had followed him so closely, and been so satisfied of his innocence, +that I was surprised into an exclamation of astonishment, at which he +was evidently much pleased. + +"What did your counsel do?" I asked. + +He put his head on one side. "He? He jes lean over an' ax did I warn' +to repeal. I tell him I didn't know. Den he ax me is I got any money at +all. I tell him, nor; ef I had I would 'a' got me a la'yer." + +"What happened then?" I inquired, laughing at his discomfiting reply. + +"Well, den de jedge tole me to stan' up, an' ax me has I got anything to +say. Well, I know dat my las' chance, an' I tell him, 'Yes, suh.' An' +he inform me to precede wid de relation, an' so I did. I preceded, an' +I tolt 'em dyah in de cote-house ev'y wud jes like I have explanified +it heah. I tolt 'em all 'bout Marth' Ann an' de chillern I hed had; I +reformed 'em all decernin' de Maconses; an' I notified 'em how P'laski +wuz dat urr ooman's son, not Marth' Ann's, an 'bout de tunament an' how +I had demonstrated wid him not to ride dyah, an' how he had repudiated +my admonition, an' had crown de queen wid ole Mis' Twine weddin'-ring, +whar he come nigh git-tin' me shot fur; an' how I had presented him de +hick'ry, an' 'bout how he had departed de premises while I wuz 'sleep, +an' had purloined my garment, an' how I wuz waitin' for him, an' +getherin' de hick'ry crap an' all. An' dee wuz all laughin', 'cuz dee +know I wuz relatin' de gospel truth, an' jes den I heah some o' de +niggers back behine call out, 'Hi! heah he now!' an' I look roun', an', +ef you b'lieve me, suh, dyah wuz P'laski, jes repeared, all fixed up, +wid he cane an' seegar an' all, jes like I had drawed he resemblance. He +had done been to Wash'n'n, an' had done come back to see de hangin'." + +The old fellow broke into such a laugh at the reminiscence that I asked +him, "Well, what was the result?" + +"De result, suh, wuz, de jury teck back all dee had say, an' ax me to +go down to de tavern an' have much whiskey as I could stan' up to, an' +dee'd pay for it; an' de jedge distracted 'em to tu'n me loose. P'laski, +he wuz sort o' bothered; he ain' know wherr to be disapp'inted 'bout de +hangin' or pleased wid bein' set up so as de centre of distraction, tell +ole Mis' Twine begin to talk 'bout 'restin' of him. Dat set him back; +but I ax 'em, b'fo' dee 'rest him, couldn' I have jurisdictionment on +him for a leetle while. Dee grant my be-ques', 'cuz dee know I gwine to +erward him accordin' to his becessities, an' I jes nod my head to him +an' went out. When we got roun' hine de jail, I invite him to perject +his coat. He nex' garment wuz my own shut, an' I tolt him to remove dat +too; dat I had to get nigh to he backbone, an' I couldn't 'ford to weah +out dat shut no mor'n he had done already weah it. Somebody had done +fetch de bunch o' hick'ries whar dee had done fine in my house, an' hit +jes like Providence. I lay 'em by me while I put him on de altar, I +jes made him wrop he arms roun' a little locus'-tree, an' I fasten he +wris'es wid he own gallowses, 'cuz I didn' warn' was'e dem hick'ries; +an' all de time I bindin' him I tellin' him 'bout he sins. Den, when I +had him ready, I begin, an' I rehearse de motter wid him f'om de time he +had ax me 'bout de tunament spang tell he come to see me hang, an' wid +ev'y wud I gin him de admonishment, tell when I got thoo wid him he +wouldn' 'a' tetch a ring ef he had been in 'em up to he neck; an' as to +shuts, he would' a' gone naked in frost b'fo' he'd 'a' put one on. He +back gin out b'fo' my hick'ries did; but I didn' wholly lors 'em. I +receive de valyationo' dem too, 'cuz when I let up on P'laski, fust man +I see wuz dat Jim Sinkfiel', whar had warn' me hanged 'cuz he didn't +warn' pay me two dollars an' seventy-three cents. He wuz standin' dyah +lookin' on, 'joyin' hiself. I jes walk up to him an' I tolt him dat +he could pay it right den, or recommodate me to teck de res' o' de +hick'ries. He try to blunder out o' it, but all de folks know 'bout it +an' dee wuz wid me, an' b'fo' he knowed it some on 'em had he coat +off, an' had stretch him roun' de tree, an' tolt me to perceed. An' I +perceeded. + +"I hadn't quite wo' out one hick'ry when he holler dat he'd borry de +money an' pay it; but I tolt him, nor; hick'ries had riz; dat I had +three mo', an' I warn' show him a man can meek a boy holler 'murder' +an' yit not kill him. An' dat I did, too: b'f o' I wuz done he hollered +'murder' jes natchel as P'laski." + +The old fellow's countenance beamed with satisfaction at the +recollection of his revenge. I rewarded his narrative with a donation +which he evidently considered liberal; for he not only was profuse in +his thanks, but he assured me that the county of Hanover had produced +four people of whom he was duly proud--Henry Clay, Doctor Macon, myself, +and himself. + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's P'laski's Tunament, by Thomas Nelson Page + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK P'LASKI'S TUNAMENT *** + +***** This file should be named 23016.txt or 23016.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/0/1/23016/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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