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+ <head>
+ <title>
+ My Friend the Murderer, by A. Conan Doyle
+ </title>
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+
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+ .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of My Friend The Murderer, by A. Conan Doyle
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: My Friend The Murderer
+
+Author: A. Conan Doyle
+
+Release Date: October 17, 2007 [EBook #23059]
+Last Updated: September 30, 2016
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY FRIEND THE MURDERER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <div style="height: 8em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h1>
+ MY FRIEND THE MURDERER
+ </h1>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ By A. Conan Doyle
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Number 481 is no better, doctor,&rdquo; said the head-warder, in a slightly
+ reproachful accent, looking in round the corner of my door.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Confound 481&rdquo; I responded from behind the pages of the <i>Australian
+ Sketcher</i>.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And 61 says his tubes are paining him. Couldn&rsquo;t you do anything for him?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He is a walking drug-shop,&rdquo; said I. &ldquo;He has the whole British pharmacopaæ
+ inside him. I believe his tubes are as sound as yours are.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Then there&rsquo;s 7 and 108, they are chronic,&rdquo; continued the warder, glancing
+ down a blue slip of paper. &ldquo;And 28 knocked off work yesterday&mdash;said
+ lifting things gave him a stitch in the side. I want you to have a look at
+ him, if you don&rsquo;t mind, doctor. There&rsquo;s 81, too&mdash;him that killed John
+ Adamson in the Corinthian brig&mdash;he&rsquo;s been carrying on awful in the
+ night, shrieking and yelling, he has, and no stopping him either.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;All right, I&rsquo;ll have a look at him afterward,&rdquo; I said, tossing my paper
+ carelessly aside, and pouring myself out a cup of coffee. &ldquo;Nothing else to
+ report, I suppose, warder?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The official protruded his head a little further into the room. &ldquo;Beg
+ pardon, doctor,&rdquo; he said, in a confidential tone, &ldquo;but I notice as 82 has
+ a bit of a cold, and it would be a good excuse for you to visit him and
+ have a chat, maybe.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The cup of coffee was arrested half-way to my lips as I stared in
+ amazement at the man&rsquo;s serious face.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;An excuse?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;An excuse? What the deuce are you talking about,
+ McPherson? You see me trudging about all day at my practise, when I&rsquo;m not
+ looking after the prisoners, and coming back every night as tired as a
+ dog, and you talk about finding an excuse for doing more work.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;d like it, doctor,&rdquo; said Warder McPherson, insinuating one of his
+ shoulders into the room. &ldquo;That man&rsquo;s story&rsquo;s worth listening to if you
+ could get him to tell it, though he&rsquo;s not what you&rsquo;d call free in his
+ speech. Maybe you don&rsquo;t know who 82 is?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;No, I don&rsquo;t, and I don&rsquo;t care either,&rdquo; I answered, in the conviction that
+ some local ruffian was about to be foisted upon me as a celebrity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He&rsquo;s Maloney,&rdquo; said the warder, &ldquo;him that turned Queen&rsquo;s evidence after
+ the murders at Bluemansdyke.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You don&rsquo;t say so?&rdquo; I ejaculated, laying down my cup in astonishment. I
+ had heard of this ghastly series of murders, and read an account of them
+ in a London magazine long before setting foot in the colony. I remembered
+ that the atrocities committed had thrown the Burke and Hare crimes
+ completely into the shade, and that one of the most villainous of the gang
+ had saved his own skin by betraying his companions. &ldquo;Are you sure?&rdquo; I
+ asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Oh, yes, it&rsquo;s him right enough. Just you draw him out a bit, and he&rsquo;ll
+ astonish you. He&rsquo;s a man to know, is Maloney; that&rsquo;s to say, in
+ moderation;&rdquo; and the head grinned, bobbed, and disappeared, leaving me to
+ finish my breakfast and ruminate over what I had heard.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The surgeonship of an Australian prison is not an enviable position. It
+ may be endurable in Melbourne or Sydney, but the little town of Perth has
+ few attractions to recommend it, and those few had been long exhausted.
+ The climate was detestable, and the society far from congenial. Sheep and
+ cattle were the staple support of the community; and their prices,
+ breeding, and diseases the principal topic of conversation. Now as I,
+ being an outsider, possessed neither the one nor the other, and was
+ utterly callous to the new &ldquo;dip&rdquo; and the &ldquo;rot&rdquo; and other kindred topics, I
+ found myself in a state of mental isolation, and was ready to hail
+ anything which might relieve the monotony of my existence. Maloney, the
+ murderer, had at least some distinctiveness and individuality in his
+ character, and might act as a tonic to a mind sick of the commonplaces of
+ existence. I determined that I should follow the warder&rsquo;s advice, and take
+ the excuse for making his acquaintance. When, therefore, I went upon my
+ usual matutinal round, I turned the lock of the door which bore the
+ convict&rsquo;s number upon it, and walked into the cell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The man was lying in a heap upon his rough bed as I entered, but,
+ uncoiling his long limbs, he started up and stared at me with an insolent
+ look of defiance on his face which augured badly for our interview. He had
+ a pale, set face, with sandy hair and a steely-blue eye, with something
+ feline in its expression. His frame was tall and muscular, though there
+ was a curious bend in his shoulders, which almost amounted to a deformity.
+ An ordinary observer meeting him in the street might have put him down as
+ a well-developed man, fairly handsome, and of studious habits&mdash;even
+ in the hideous uniform of the rottenest convict establishment he imparted
+ a certain refinement to his carriage which marked him out among the
+ inferior ruffians around him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not on the sick-list,&rdquo; he said, gruffly. There was something in the
+ hard, rasping voice which dispelled all softer illusions, and made me
+ realize that I was face to face with the man of the Lena Valley and
+ Bluemansdyke, the bloodiest bushranger that ever stuck up a farm or cut
+ the throats of its occupants.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I know you&rsquo;re not,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;Warder McPherson told me you had a cold,
+ though, and I thought I&rsquo;d look in and see you.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Blast Warder McPherson, and blast you, too!&rdquo; yelled the convict, in a
+ paroxysm of rage. &ldquo;Oh, that&rsquo;s right,&rdquo; he added in a quieter voice; &ldquo;hurry
+ away; report me to the governor, do! Get me another six months or so&mdash;that&rsquo;s
+ your game.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not going to report you,&rdquo; I said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Eight square feet of ground,&rdquo; he went on, disregarding my protest, and
+ evidently working himself into a fury again. &ldquo;Eight square feet, and I
+ can&rsquo;t have that without being talked to and stared at, and&mdash;oh, blast
+ the whole crew of you!&rdquo; and he raised his two clinched hands above, his
+ head and shook them in passionate invective.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;ve got a curious idea of hospitality,&rdquo; I remarked, determined not to
+ lose my temper, and saying almost the first thing that came to my tongue.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To my surprise the words had an extraordinary effect upon him. He seemed
+ completely staggered at my assuming the proposition for which he had been
+ so fiercely contending&mdash;namely, that the room in which he stood was
+ his own.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I beg your pardon,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;I didn&rsquo;t mean to be rude. Won&rsquo;t you take a
+ seat?&rdquo; and he motioned toward a rough trestle, which formed the head-piece
+ of his couch.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I sat down, rather astonished at the sudden change. I don&rsquo;t know that I
+ liked Maloney better under this new aspect. The murderer had, it is true,
+ disappeared for the nonce, but there was something in the smooth tones and
+ obsequious manner which powerfully suggested the witness of the queen, who
+ had stood up and sworn away the lives of his companions in crime.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;How&rsquo;s your chest?&rdquo; I asked, putting on my professional air.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Come, drop it, doctor&mdash;drop it!&rdquo; he answered, showing a row of white
+ teeth as he resumed his seat upon the side of the bed. &ldquo;It wasn&rsquo;t anxiety
+ after my precious health that brought you along here; that story won&rsquo;t
+ wash at all. You came to have a look at Wolf Tone Maloney, forger,
+ murderer, Sydney-slider, ranger, and government peach. That&rsquo;s about my
+ figure, ain&rsquo;t it? There it is, plain and straight; there&rsquo;s nothing mean
+ about me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He paused as if he expected me to say something; but as I remained silent,
+ he repeated once or twice, &ldquo;There&rsquo;s nothing mean about me.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And why shouldn&rsquo;t I?&rdquo; he suddenly yelled, his eyes gleaming and his whole
+ satanic nature reasserting itself. &ldquo;We were bound to swing, one and all,
+ and they were none the worse if I saved myself by turning against them.
+ Every man for himself, say I, and the devil take the luckiest. You haven&rsquo;t
+ a plug of tobacco, doctor, have you?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He tore at the piece of &ldquo;Barrett&rsquo;s&rdquo; which I handed him, as ravenously as a
+ wild beast. It seemed to have the effect of soothing his nerves, for he
+ settled himself down in the bed and re-assumed his former deprecating
+ manner.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You wouldn&rsquo;t like it yourself, you know, doctor,&rdquo; he said: &ldquo;it&rsquo;s enough
+ to make any man a little queer in his temper. I&rsquo;m in for six months this
+ time for assault, and very sorry I shall be to go out again, I can tell
+ you. My mind&rsquo;s at ease in here; but when I&rsquo;m outside, what with the
+ government and what with Tattooed Tom, of Hawkesbury, there&rsquo;s no chance of
+ a quiet life.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Who is he?&rdquo; I asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;He&rsquo;s the brother of John Grimthorpe, the same that was condemned on my
+ evidence; and an infernal scamp he was, too! Spawn of the devil, both of
+ them! This tattooed one is a murderous ruffian, and he swore to have my
+ blood after that trial. It&rsquo;s seven year ago, and he&rsquo;s following me yet; I
+ know he is, though he lies low and keeps dark. He came up to me in
+ Ballarat in &lsquo;75; you can see on the back of my hand here where the bullet
+ clipped me. He tried again in &lsquo;76, at Port Philip, but I got the drop on
+ him and wounded him badly. He knifed me in &lsquo;79, though, in a bar at
+ Adelaide, and that made our account about level. He&rsquo;s loafing round again
+ now, and he&rsquo;ll let daylight into me&mdash;unless&mdash;unless by some
+ extraordinary chance some one does as much for him.&rdquo; And Maloney gave a
+ very ugly smile.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t complain of <i>him</i> so much,&rdquo; he continued. &ldquo;Looking at it in
+ his way, no doubt it is a sort of family matter that can hardly be
+ neglected. It&rsquo;s the government that fetches me. When I think of what I&rsquo;ve
+ done for this country, and then of what this country has done for me, it
+ makes me fairly wild&mdash;clean drives me off my head. There&rsquo;s no
+ gratitude nor common decency left, doctor!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He brooded over his wrongs for a few minutes, and then proceeded to lay
+ them before me in detail.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Here&rsquo;s nine men,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;they&rsquo;ve been murdering and killing for a
+ matter of three years, and maybe a life a week wouldn&rsquo;t more than average
+ the work that they&rsquo;ve done. The government catches them and the government
+ tries them, but they can&rsquo;t convict; and why?&mdash;because the witnesses
+ have all had their throats cut, and the whole job&rsquo;s been very neatly done.
+ What happens then? Up comes a citizen called Wolf Tone Maloney; he says,
+ &lsquo;The country needs me, and here I am.&rsquo; And with that he gives his
+ evidence, convicts the lot, and enables the beaks to hang them. That&rsquo;s
+ what I did. There&rsquo;s nothing mean about me! And now what does the country
+ do in return? Dogs me, sir, spies on me, watches me night and day, turns
+ against the very man that worked so very hard for it. There&rsquo;s something
+ mean about that, anyway. I didn&rsquo;t expect them to knight me, nor to make me
+ colonial secretary; but, damn it! I did expect that they would let me
+ alone!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I remonstrated, &ldquo;if you choose to break laws and assault people,
+ you can&rsquo;t expect it to be looked over on account of former services.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t refer to my present imprisonment, sir,&rdquo; said Maloney, with
+ dignity. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s the life I&rsquo;ve been leading since that cursed trial that
+ takes the soul out of me. Just you sit there on that trestle, and I&rsquo;ll
+ tell you all about it, and then look me in the face and tell me that I&rsquo;ve
+ been treated fair by the police.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I shall endeavor to transcribe the experience of the convict in his own
+ words, as far as I can remember them, preserving his curious perversions
+ of right and wrong. I can answer for the truth of his facts, whatever may
+ be said for his deductions from them. Months afterward, Inspector H. W.
+ Hann, formerly governor of the jail at Dunedin, showed me entries in his
+ ledger which corroborated every statement Maloney reeled the story off in
+ a dull, monotonous voice, with his head sunk upon his breast and his hands
+ between his knees. The glitter of his serpentlike eyes was the only sign
+ of the emotions which were stirred up by the recollection of the events
+ which he narrated.
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ You&rsquo;ve read of Bluemansdyke (he began, with some pride in his tone). We
+ made it hot while it lasted; but they ran us to earth at last, and a trap
+ called Braxton, with a damned Yankee, took the lot of us. That was in New
+ Zealand, of course, and they took us down to Dunedin, and there they were
+ convicted and hanged. One and all they put up their hands in the dock, and
+ cursed me till your blood would have run cold to hear them&mdash;which was
+ scurvy treatment, seeing that we had all been pals together; but they were
+ a blackguard lot, and thought only of themselves. I think it is as well
+ that they were hung.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They took me back to Dunedin Jail, and clapped me into the old cell. The
+ only difference they made was, that I had no work to do and was well fed.
+ I stood this for a week or two, until one day the governor was making his
+ rounds, and I put the matter to him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;How&rsquo;s this?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;My conditions were a free pardon, and you&rsquo;re
+ keeping me here against the law.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He gave a sort of a smile. &ldquo;Should you like very much to get out?&rdquo; he
+ asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;So much,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;that unless you open that door I&rsquo;ll have an action
+ against you for illegal detention.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He seemed a bit astonished by my resolution.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;re very anxious to meet your death,&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What d&rsquo;ye mean?&rdquo; I asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Come here, and you&rsquo;ll know what I mean,&rdquo; he answered. And he led me down
+ the passage to a window that overlooked the door of the prison. &ldquo;Look at
+ that!&rdquo; said he.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I looked out, and there were a dozen or so rough-looking fellows standing
+ outside the street, some of them smoking, some playing cards on the
+ pavement. When they saw me they gave a yell and crowded round the door,
+ shaking their fists and hooting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;They wait for you, watch and watch about,&rdquo; said the governor. &ldquo;They&rsquo;re
+ the executive of the vigilance committee. However, since you are
+ determined to go, I can&rsquo;t stop you.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;D&rsquo;ye call this a civilized land,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;and let a man be murdered in
+ cold blood in open daylight?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I said this the governor and the warder and every fool in the place
+ grinned, as if a man&rsquo;s life was a rare good joke.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;ve got the law on your side,&rdquo; says the governor; &ldquo;so we won&rsquo;t detain
+ you any longer. Show him out, warder.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He&rsquo;d have done it, too, the black-hearted villain, if I hadn&rsquo;t begged and
+ prayed and offered to pay for my board and lodging, which is more than any
+ prisoner ever did before me. He let me stay on those conditions; and for
+ three months I was caged up there with every larrikin in the township
+ clamoring at the other side of the wall. That was pretty treatment for a
+ man that had served his country!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At last, one morning up came the governor again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, Maloney,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;how long are you going to honor us with your
+ society?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I could have put a knife into his cursed body, and would, too, if we had
+ been alone in the bush; but I had to smile, and smooth him and flatter,
+ for I feared that he might have me sent out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You&rsquo;re an infernal rascal,&rdquo; he said; those were his very words, to a man
+ that had helped him all he knew how. &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want any rough justice here,
+ though; and I think I see my way to getting you out of Dunedin.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll never forget you, governor,&rdquo; said I; &ldquo;and, by God! I never will.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want your thanks nor your gratitude,&rdquo; he answered; &ldquo;it&rsquo;s not for
+ your sake that I do it, but simply to keep order in the town. There&rsquo;s a
+ steamer starts from the West Quay to Melbourne to-morrow, and we&rsquo;ll get
+ you aboard it. She is advertised at five in the morning, so have yourself
+ in readiness.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I packed up the few things I had, and was smuggled out by a back door,
+ just before daybreak. I hurried down, took my ticket under the name of
+ Isaac Smith, and got safely aboard the Melbourne boat. I remember hearing
+ her screw grinding into the water as the warps were cast loose, and
+ looking back at the lights of Dunedin as I leaned upon the bulwarks, with
+ the pleasant thought that I was leaving them behind me forever. It seemed
+ to me that a new world was before me, and that all my troubles had been
+ cast off. I went down below and had some coffee, and came up again feeling
+ better than I had done since the morning that I woke to find that cursed
+ Irishman that took me standing over me with a six-shooter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Day had dawned by that time, and we were steaming along by the coast, well
+ out of sight of Dunedin. I loafed about for a couple of hours, and when
+ the sun got well up some of the other passengers came on deck and joined
+ me. One of them, a little perky sort of fellow, took a good long look at
+ me, and then came over and began talking.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Mining, I suppose?&rdquo; says he.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I says.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Made your pile?&rdquo; he asks.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Pretty fair,&rdquo; says I.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I was at it myself,&rdquo; he says; &ldquo;I worked at the Nelson fields for three
+ months, and spent all I made in buying a salted claim which busted up the
+ second day. I went at it again, though, and struck it rich; but when the
+ gold wagon was going down to the settlements, it was stuck up by those
+ cursed rangers, and not a red cent left.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That was a bad job,&rdquo; I says.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Broke me&mdash;ruined me clean. Never mind, I&rsquo;ve seen them all hanged for
+ it; that makes it easier to bear. There&rsquo;s only one left&mdash;the villain
+ that gave the evidence. I&rsquo;d die happy if I could come across him. There
+ are two things I have to do if I meet him.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;What&rsquo;s that?&rdquo; says I, carelessly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve got to ask him where the money lies&mdash;they never had time to
+ make away with it, and it&rsquo;s <i>cachéd</i> somewhere in the mountains&mdash;and
+ then I&rsquo;ve got to stretch his neck for him, and send his soul down to join
+ the men that he betrayed.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It seemed to me that I knew something about that <i>caché</i>, and I felt
+ like laughing; but he was watching me, and it struck me that he had a
+ nasty, vindictive kind of mind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;m going up on the bridge,&rdquo; I said, for he was not a man whose
+ acquaintance I cared much about making.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He wouldn&rsquo;t hear of my leaving him, though. &ldquo;We&rsquo;re both miners,&rdquo; he says,
+ &ldquo;and we&rsquo;re pals for the voyage. Come down to the bar. I&rsquo;m not too poor to
+ shout.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I couldn&rsquo;t refuse him well, and we went down together; and that was the
+ beginning of the trouble. What harm was I doing any one on the ship? All I
+ asked for was a quiet life, leaving others alone and getting left alone
+ myself. No man could ask fairer than that. And now just you listen to what
+ came of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We were passing the front of the ladies&rsquo; cabin, on our way to the saloon,
+ when out comes a servant lass&mdash;a freckled currency she-devil&mdash;with
+ a baby in her arms. We were brushing past her, when she gave a scream like
+ a railway whistle, and nearly dropped the kid. My nerves gave a sort of a
+ jump when I heard that scream, but I turned and begged her pardon, letting
+ on that I thought I might have trod on her foot. I knew the game was up,
+ though, when I saw her white face, and her leaning against the door and
+ pointing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It&rsquo;s him!&rdquo; she cried; &ldquo;it&rsquo;s him! I saw him in the court-house. Oh, don&rsquo;t
+ let him hurt the baby!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Who is it?&rdquo; asked the steward and half a dozen others in a breath.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;It&rsquo;s him&mdash;Maloney&mdash;Maloney, the murderer&mdash;oh, take him
+ away&mdash;take him away!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I don&rsquo;t rightly remember what happened just at that moment. The furniture
+ and me seemed to get kind of mixed, and there was cursing, and smashing,
+ and some one shouting for his gold, and a general stamping round. When I
+ got steadied a bit, I found somebody&rsquo;s hand in my mouth. From what I
+ gathered afterward, I concluded that it belonged to that same little man
+ with the vicious way of talking. He got some of it out again, but that was
+ because the others were choking me. A poor chap can get no fair play in
+ this world when once he is down&mdash;still, I think he will remember me
+ till the day of his death&mdash;longer, I hope.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They dragged me out on to the poop and held a damned court-martial&mdash;on
+ <i>me</i>, mind you; <i>me</i>, that had thrown over my pals in order to
+ serve them. What were they to do with me? Some said this, some said that;
+ but it ended by the captain deciding to send me ashore. The ship stopped,
+ they lowered a boat, and I was hoisted in, the whole gang of them hooting
+ at me from over the bulwarks, I saw the man I spoke of tying up his hand,
+ though, and I felt that things might be worse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I changed my opinion before we got to the land. I had reckoned on the
+ shore being deserted, and that I might make my way inland; but the ship
+ had stopped too near the Heads, and a dozen beach-combers and such like
+ had come down to the water&rsquo;s edge and were staring at us, wondering what
+ the boat was after. When we got to the edge of the surf the cockswain
+ hailed them, and after singing out who I was, he and his men threw me into
+ the water. You may well look surprised&mdash;neck and crop into ten feet
+ of water, with sharks as thick as green parrots in the bush, and I heard
+ them laughing as I floundered to the shore.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I soon saw it was a worse job than ever. As I came scrambling out through
+ the weeds, I was collared by a big chap with a velveteen coat, and half a
+ dozen others got round me and held me fast. Most of them looked simple
+ fellows enough, and I was not afraid of them; but there was one in a
+ cabbage-tree hat that had a very nasty expression on his face, and the big
+ man seemed to be chummy with him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They dragged me up the beach, and then they let go their hold of me and
+ stood round in a circle.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well, mate,&rdquo; says the man with the hat, &ldquo;we&rsquo;ve been looking out for you
+ some time in these parts.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And very good of you, too,&rdquo; I answers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;None of your jaw,&rdquo; says he. &ldquo;Come, boys, what shall it be&mdash;hanging,
+ drowning, or shooting? Look sharp!&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This looked a bit too like business. &ldquo;No, you don&rsquo;t!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve got
+ government protection, and it&rsquo;ll be murder.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;That&rsquo;s what they call it,&rdquo; answered the one in the velveteen coat, as
+ cheery as a piping crow.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;And you&rsquo;re going to murder me for being a ranger?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Ranger be damned!&rdquo; said the man. &ldquo;We&rsquo;re going to hang you for peaching
+ against your pals; and that&rsquo;s an end of the palaver.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They slung a rope round my neck and dragged me up to the edge of the bush.
+ There were some big she-oaks and blue-gums, and they pitched on one of
+ these for the wicked deed. They ran the rope over a branch, tied my hands,
+ and told me to say my prayers. It seemed as if it was all up; but
+ Providence interfered to save me. It sounds nice enough sitting here and
+ telling about it, sir; but it was sick work to stand with nothing but the
+ beach in front of you, and the long white line of surf, with the steamer
+ in the distance, and a set of bloody-minded villains round you thirsting
+ for your life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I never thought I&rsquo;d owe anything good to the police; but they saved me
+ that time. A troop of them were riding from Hawkes Point Station to
+ Dunedin, and hearing that something was up, they came down through the
+ bush and interrupted the proceedings. I&rsquo;ve heard some bands in my time,
+ doctor, but I never heard music like the jingle of those traps&rsquo; spurs and
+ harness as they galloped out on to the open. They tried to hang me even
+ then, but the police were too quick for them; and the man with the hat got
+ one over the head with the flat of a sword. I was clapped on to a horse,
+ and before evening I found myself in my old quarters in the city jail.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The governor wasn&rsquo;t to be done, though. He was determined to get rid of
+ me, and I was equally anxious to see the last of him. He waited a week or
+ so until the excitement had begun to die away, and then he smuggled me
+ aboard a three-masted schooner bound to Sydney with tallow and hides.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We got far away to sea without a hitch, and things began to look a bit
+ more rosy. I made sure that I had seen the last of the prison, anyway. The
+ crew had a sort of an idea who I was, and if there&rsquo;d been any rough
+ weather, they&rsquo;d have hove me overboard, like enough; for they were a
+ rough, ignorant lot, and had a notion that I brought bad luck to the ship.
+ We had a good passage, however, and I was landed safe and sound upon
+ Sydney Quay.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now just you listen to what happened next. You&rsquo;d have thought they would
+ have been sick of ill-using me and following me by this time&mdash;wouldn&rsquo;t
+ you, now? Well, just you listen. It seems that a cursed steamer started
+ from Dunedin to Sydney on the very day we left, and got in before us,
+ bringing news that I was coming. Blessed if they hadn&rsquo;t called a meeting&mdash;a
+ regular mass-meeting&mdash;at the docks to discuss about it, and I marched
+ right into it when I landed. They didn&rsquo;t take long about arresting me, and
+ I listened to all the speeches and resolutions. If I&rsquo;d been a prince there
+ couldn&rsquo;t have been more excitement. The end of all was that they agreed
+ that it wasn&rsquo;t right that New Zealand should be allowed to foist her
+ criminals upon her neighbors, and that I was to be sent back again by the
+ next boat. So they posted me off again as if I was a damned parcel; and
+ after another eight-hundred-mile journey I found myself back for the third
+ time moving in the place that I started from.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By this time I had begun to think that I was going to spend the rest of my
+ existence traveling about from one port to another. Every man&rsquo;s hand
+ seemed turned against me, and there was no peace or quiet in any
+ direction. I was about sick of it by the time I had come back; and if I
+ could have taken to the bush I&rsquo;d have done it, and chanced it with my old
+ pals. They were too quick for me, though, and kept me under lock and key;
+ but I managed, in spite of them, to negotiate that <i>caché</i> I told you
+ of, and sewed the gold up in my belt. I spent another month in jail, and
+ then they slipped me aboard a bark that was bound for England.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This time the crew never knew who I was, but the captain had a pretty good
+ idea, though he didn&rsquo;t let on to me that he had any suspicions. I guessed
+ from the first that the man was a villain. We had a fair passage, except a
+ gale or two off the Cape; and I began to feel like a free man when I saw
+ the blue loom of the old country, and the saucy little pilot-boat from
+ Falmouth dancing toward us over the waves. We ran down the Channel, and
+ before we reached Gravesend I had agreed with the pilot that he should
+ take me ashore with him when he left. It was at this time that the captain
+ showed me that I was right in thinking him a meddling, disagreeable man. I
+ got my things packed, such as they were, and left him talking earnestly to
+ the pilot, while I went below for my breakfast. When I came up again we
+ were fairly into the mouth of the river, and the boat in which I was to
+ have gone ashore had left us. The skipper said the pilot had forgotten me;
+ but that was too thin, and I began to fear that all my old troubles were
+ going to commence once more.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was not long before my suspicions were confirmed. A boat darted out
+ from the side of the river, and a tall cove with a long black beard came
+ aboard. I heard him ask the mate whether they didn&rsquo;t need a mud-pilot to
+ take them up in the reaches, but it seemed to me that he was a man who
+ would know a deal more about handcuffs than he did about steering, so I
+ kept away from him. He came across the deck, however, and made some remark
+ to me, taking a good look at me the while. I don&rsquo;t like inquisitive people
+ at any time, but an inquisitive stranger with glue about the roots of his
+ beard is the worst of all to stand, especially under the circumstances. I
+ began to feel that it was time for me to go.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I soon got a chance, and made good use of it. A big collier came athwart
+ the bows of our steamer, and we had to slacken down to dead slow. There
+ was a barge astern, and I slipped down by a rope and was into the barge
+ before any one missed me. Of course I had to leave my luggage behind me,
+ but I had the belt with the nuggets round my waist, and the chance of
+ shaking the police off my track was worth more than a couple of boxes. It
+ was clear to me now that the pilot had been a traitor, as well as the
+ captain, and had set the detectives after me. I often wish I could drop
+ across those two men again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I hung about the barge all day as she drifted down the stream. There was
+ one man in her, but she was a big, ugly craft, and his hands were too full
+ for much looking about. Toward evening, when it got a bit dusky, I struck
+ out for the shore, and found myself in a sort of marsh place, a good many
+ miles to the east of London. I was soaking wet and half dead with hunger,
+ but I trudged into the town, got a new rig-out at a slop-shop, and after
+ having some supper, engaged a bed at the quietest lodgings I could find.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I woke pretty early&mdash;a habit you pick up in the bush&mdash;and lucky
+ for me that I did so. The very first thing I saw when I took a look
+ through a chink in the shutter was one of these infernal policemen
+ standing right opposite and staring up at the windows. He hadn&rsquo;t epaulets
+ nor a sword, like our traps, but for all that there was a sort of family
+ likeness, and the same busybody expression. Whether they followed me all
+ the time, or whether the woman that let me the bed didn&rsquo;t like the looks
+ of me, is more than I have ever been able to find out. He came across as I
+ was watching him, and noted down the address of the house in a book. I was
+ afraid that he was going to ring at the bell, but I suppose his orders
+ were simply to keep an eye on me, for after another good look at the
+ windows he moved on down the street.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I saw that my only chance was to act at once. I threw on my clothes,
+ opened the window softly, and, after making sure that there was nobody
+ about, dropped out onto the ground and made off as hard as I could run. I
+ traveled a matter of two or three miles, when my wind gave out; and as I
+ saw a big building with people going in and out, I went in too, and found
+ that it was a railway station. A train was just going off for Dover to
+ meet the French boat, so I took a ticket and jumped into a third-class
+ carriage.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There were a couple of other chaps in the carriage, innocent-looking young
+ beggars, both of them. They began speaking about this and that, while I
+ sat quiet in the corner and listened. Then they started on England and
+ foreign countries, and such like. Look ye now, doctor, this is a fact. One
+ of them begins jawing about the justice of England&rsquo;s laws. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s all fair
+ and above-board,&rdquo; says he; &ldquo;there ain&rsquo;t any secret police, nor spying,
+ like they have abroad,&rdquo; and a lot more of the same sort of wash. Rather
+ rough on me, wasn&rsquo;t it, listening to the damned young fool, with the
+ police following me about like my shadow?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I got to Paris right enough, and there I changed some of my gold, and for
+ a few days I imagined I&rsquo;d shaken them off, and began to think of settling
+ down for a bit of rest. I needed it by that time, for I was looking more
+ like a ghost than a man. You&rsquo;ve never had the police after you, I suppose?
+ Well, you needn&rsquo;t look offended, I didn&rsquo;t mean any harm. If ever you had
+ you&rsquo;d know that it wastes a man away like a sheep with the rot.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I went to the opera one night and took a box, for I was very flush. I was
+ coming out between the acts when I met a fellow lounging along in the
+ passage. The light fell on his face, and I saw that it was the mud-pilot
+ that had boarded us in the Thames. His beard was gone, but I recognized
+ the man at a glance, for I&rsquo;ve a good memory for faces.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I tell you, doctor, I felt desperate for a moment. I could have knifed him
+ if we had been alone, but he knew me well enough never to give me the
+ chance. It was more than I could stand any longer, so I went right up to
+ him and drew him aside, where we&rsquo;d be free from all the loungers and
+ theater-goers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;How long are you going to keep it up?&rdquo; I asked him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He seemed a bit flustered for a moment, but then he saw there was no use
+ beating about the bush, so he answered straight:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Until you go back to Australia,&rdquo; he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t you know,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that I have served the government and got a
+ free pardon?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He grinned all over his ugly face when I said this.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;We know all about you, Maloney,&rdquo; he answered. &ldquo;If you want a quiet life,
+ just you go back where you came from. If you stay here, you&rsquo;re a marked
+ man; and when you are found tripping it&rsquo;ll be a lifer for you, at the
+ least. Free trade&rsquo;s a fine thing but the market&rsquo;s too full of men like you
+ for us to need to import any.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It seemed to me that there was something in what he said, though he had a
+ nasty way of putting it. For some days back I&rsquo;d been feeling a sort of
+ homesick. The ways of the people weren&rsquo;t my ways. They stared at me in the
+ street; and if I dropped into a bar, they&rsquo;d stop talking and edge away a
+ bit, as if I was a wild beast. I&rsquo;d sooner have had a pint of old
+ Stringybark, too, than a bucketful of their rot-gut liquors. There was too
+ much damned propriety. What was the use of having money if you couldn&rsquo;t
+ dress as you liked, nor bust in properly? There was no sympathy for a man
+ if he shot about a little when he was half-over, I&rsquo;ve seen a man dropped
+ at Nelson many a time with less row than they&rsquo;d make over a broken
+ window-pane. The thing was slow, and I was sick of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;You want me to go back?&rdquo; I said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;I&rsquo;ve my order to stick fast to you until you do,&rdquo; he answered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t care if I do. All I bargain is that you keep your
+ mouth shut and don&rsquo;t let on who I am, so that I may have a fair start when
+ I get there.&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He agreed to this, and we went over to Southampton the very next day,
+ where he saw me safely off once more. I took a passage round to Adelaide,
+ where no one was likely to know me; and there I settled, right under the
+ nose of the police. I&rsquo;d been there ever since, leading a quiet life, but
+ for little difficulties like the one I&rsquo;m in for now, and for that devil,
+ Tattooed Tom, of Hawkesbury. I don&rsquo;t know what made me tell you all this,
+ doctor, unless it is that being lonely makes a man inclined to jaw when he
+ gets a chance. Just you take warning from me, though. Never put yourself
+ out to serve your country; for your country will do precious little for
+ you. Just you let them look after their own affairs; and if they find
+ difficulty in hanging a set of scoundrels, never mind chipping in, but let
+ them alone to do as best they can. Maybe they&rsquo;ll remember how they treated
+ me after I&rsquo;m dead, and be sorry for neglecting me, I was rude to you when
+ you came in, and swore a trifle promiscuous: but don&rsquo;t you mind me, it&rsquo;s
+ only my way. You&rsquo;ll allow, though, that I have cause to be a bit touchy
+ now and again when I think of all that&rsquo;s passed. You&rsquo;re not going, are
+ you? Well, if you must, you must; but I hope you will look me up at odd
+ times when you are going your rounds. Oh, I say, you&rsquo;ve left the balance
+ of that cake of tobacco behind you, haven&rsquo;t you? No; it&rsquo;s in your pocket&mdash;that&rsquo;s
+ all right. Thank ye, doctor, you&rsquo;re a good sort, and as quick at a hint as
+ any man I&rsquo;ve met.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A couple of months after narrating his experiences, Wolf Tone Maloney
+ finished his term, and was released. For a long time I neither saw him nor
+ heard of him, and he had almost slipped from my memory, until I was
+ reminded, in a somewhat tragic manner, of his existence. I had been
+ attending a patient some distance off in the country, and was riding back,
+ guiding my tired horse among the boulders which strewed the pathway, and
+ endeavoring to see my way through the gathering darkness, when I came
+ suddenly upon a little wayside inn. As I walked my horse up toward the
+ door, intending to make sure of my bearings before proceeding further, I
+ heard the sound of a violent altercation within the little bar.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There seemed to be a chorus of expostulation or remonstrance, above which
+ two powerful voices rang out loud and angry. As I listened, there was a
+ momentary hush, two pistol shots sounded almost simultaneously, and with a
+ crash the door burst open and a pair of dark figures staggered out into
+ the moonlight. They struggled for a moment in a deadly wrestle, and then
+ went down together among the loose stones. I had sprung off my horse, and,
+ with the help of half a dozen rough fellows from the bar, dragged them
+ away from one another.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A glance was sufficient to convince me that one of them was dying fast. He
+ was a thick-set burly fellow, with a determined cast of countenance. The
+ blood was welling from a deep stab in his throat, and it was evident that
+ an important artery had been divided. I turned away from him in despair,
+ and walked over to where his antagonist was lying. He was shot through the
+ lungs, but managed to raise himself up on his hand as I approached, and
+ peered anxiously up into my face. To my surprise, I saw before me the
+ haggard features and flaxen hair of my prison acquaintance, Maloney.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ &ldquo;Ah, doctor!&rdquo; he said, recognizing me. &ldquo;How is he? Will he die?&rdquo;
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He asked the question so earnestly that I imagined he had softened at the
+ last moment, and feared to leave the world with another homicide upon his
+ conscience. Truth, however, compelled me to shake my head mournfully, and
+ to intimate that the wound would prove a mortal one.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Maloney gave a wild cry of triumph, which brought the blood welling out
+ from between his lips. &ldquo;Here, boys,&rdquo; he gasped to the little group around
+ him. &ldquo;There&rsquo;s money in my inside pocket. Damn the expense! Drinks round.
+ There&rsquo;s nothing mean about me. I&rsquo;d drink with you, but I&rsquo;m going. Give the
+ doc my share, for he&rsquo;s as good&mdash;&rdquo; Here his head fell back with a
+ thud, his eye glazed, and the soul of Wolf Tone Maloney, forger, convict,
+ ranger, murderer, and government peach, drifted away into the Great
+ Unknown.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I cannot conclude without borrowing the account of the fatal quarrel which
+ appeared in the column of the <i>West Australian Sentinel</i>. The curious
+ will find it in the issue of October 4,1881:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ &ldquo;Fatal Affray.&mdash;W. T. Maloney, a well-know citizen of New
+ Montrose, and proprietor of the Yellow Boy gambling saloon,
+ has met with his death under rather painful circumstances.
+ Mr. Maloney was a man who had led a checkered existence, and
+ whose past history is replete with interest. Some of our
+ readers may recall the Lena Valley murders, in which he
+ figured as the principal criminal. It is conjectured that
+ during the seven months that he owned a bar in that region,
+ from twenty to thirty travelers were hocussed and made away
+ with. He succeeded, however, in evading the vigilance of
+ the officers of the law, and allied himself with the
+ bushrangers of Bluemansdyke, whose heroic capture and
+ subsequent execution are matters of history. Maloney
+ extricated himself from the fate which awaited him by
+ turning Queen&rsquo;s evidence. He afterward visited Europe, but
+ returned to West Australia, where he has long played a
+ prominent part in local matters. On Friday evening he
+ encountered an old enemy, Thomas Grimthorpe, commonly known
+ as Tattooed Tom, of Hawkesbury.
+
+ &ldquo;Shots were exchanged, and both were badly wounded, only
+ surviving a few minutes. Mr. Maloney had the reputation of
+ being not only the most wholesale murderer that ever lived,
+ but also of having a finish and attention to detail in
+ matters of evidence which has been unapproached by any
+ European criminal. <i>Sic transit gloria mundi!</i>&rdquo;
+ </pre>
+ <div style="height: 6em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg&rsquo;s My Friend The Murderer, by A. Conan Doyle
+
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+</pre>
+ </body>
+</html>