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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/23614-8.txt b/23614-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7b98b9d --- /dev/null +++ b/23614-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,786 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Happy Days, by Oliver Herford and John Cecil Clay + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Happy Days + +Author: Oliver Herford + John Cecil Clay + +Release Date: November 25, 2007 [EBook #23614] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + +_To Stern Critics_ + +Here's to stern Critics! + May they some day learn +The forward lookout's + Better than the stern! + + +[Illustration] + +Here's to her shadow! +May it mark the hours +Upon the sundial of her life--in flowers! + + + * * * * * + + + HAPPY DAYS + + BY + OLIVER HERFORD + AND + JOHN CECIL CLAY + + + NEW YORK + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + THE·PLIMPTON·PRESS + NORWOOD·MASS·U·S·A + + + * * * * * + + +_CONTENTS_ + + PAGE +TO STERN CRITICS 3 +TO HER SHADOW 4 +TO FASHION 9 +TO THE TYPEWRITER 11 +THE FLOOR 12 +TO MUSIC 15 +TO THE PUBLISHER 17 +HERE'S LOOKING 19 +THE DOVE OF PEACE 21 +TO THE CLOCK 23 +TO HOPE 25 +TO LIBERTY 27 +STAIRS: A TOAST 29 +TO LADY NICOTINE 31 +OH, EDITOR, EDITOR! 33 +TO THE CREDITOR 35 +TO NEPTUNE 37 +TO THE WAITER 39 +TO TEMPTATION 41 +TO THE MAID WITH FANCY FREE 43 +TO OUR SWEETHEARTS 45 +TO OUR READERS 46 + + + * * * * * + + +[Illustration:] + + +Fashion! Lovely Dame! + Pledge in sparkling wine! +Let us add her name + To the Muses' nine! + +Though the lovely Nin + All should pass away +Why should Woman pine, + If but Fashion stay? + +Tho' the Muses' lore + Molder on the shelf, +Still may She adore + In Fashion's glass--Herself. + + +[Illustration:] + + +_To The Typewriter_ + +Here's to the Typewriter! + Health to her type! +Whether blond or brunette + Or budding or ripe. +If she be the right type + Be she buxom or slight, +When she doesn't type wrong + She is sure to typewrite. + + +[Illustration] + +THE FLOOR + +Here's to the floor, + Our best friend of all, +Who sticks to us close + In the time of our fall. +When benches are fickle + And tables betray +And rugs are revolving, + He meets us half-way. +Our stay and support, + When we can't stand alone, +With the floor for a backer, + We'll never be thrown. +Here's to our friend, + In life's every stage! +Dry nurse of infancy, + Wet nurse of age! +_A health_ to our floor! + Supporter and stay; +Though he often be full, + May he never give way! + +[Illustration] + + +[Illustration:] + + +_To Music_ + +Here's to Music, + Joy of joys! +One man's music's + Another man's noise. + +[Illustration:] + + +[Illustration:] + + +To The Publisher!--Drink! + Let his virtue be shown +In the _Good Works_ of others + If not in his own. + +TO THE PUBLISHER + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's looking + at you, dear! + though I should pour +A sea of wine, + my eyes would + thirst for more. + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's to the Dove of Peace! + May she find a mate some day, +And may her tribe increase + As fast as she can lay! + +<tb> + +With cooing doves galore + Then may the sky be dark +Until the Dogs of War + Can't see each other bark! + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's to the Clock! + Whose hands, we pray heaven, +When we come home at three, + Have stopped at eleven! + +TO THE CLOCK + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to Hope, + the child of Care, +And pretty sister + of Despair! +Here's hoping that + Hope's children shan't +Take after their Grandma + or Aunt! + + +[Illustration] + + +TO LIBERTY + +Here's to our Goddess, Liberty, + Idol of bronze and stone! +May she awake to life some day + And let her charms be known. + + +[Illustration] + + +STAIRS +A TOAST + +Here's to the man who invented stairs + And taught our feet to soar! +He was the first who ever burst + Into a second floor. + +The world would be downstairs to-day + Had he not found the key; +So let his name go down to fame, + Whatever it may be. + + +[Illustration] + + +TO OUR LADY NICOTINE + +Here's to Lady Nicotine! +Saint and Sorceress and Queen! +Saint, whose purple halo rings +Lift our eyes from earthly things; +Witch, whose wand of scented briar +Transmutes dead weeds to fragrant fire; +Queen, whose rod her slaves adore! +What can freedom offer more? + + +[Illustration] + + +OH, EDITOR, EDITOR, + Awful and grand, +Who holdest our fate + In the palm of thy hand, +Dost ever reflect + How one day thy ghost +To an Editor awf'ler + And grander will post? +Before him a great + Golden scroll is spread wide, +And a bottomless waste-basket + Yawns at his side. +With a swift searching glance + He reads through thy soul, +Then he looks at the basket, + Then looks at the scroll; +He purses his lips + And nibbles his pen, +And frowns for one long + Awful moment--and then-- +Oh, Editor!--think! if thy + Poor crumpled soul +Fall into the basket + And not in the scroll! + + +[Illustration] + + +_To The Creditor_ + +Here's to the Creditor, + Long may he reign! +May his Faith never waver, + His Trust never wane. +May the Lord make him gentle + And gracious and gay, +Yet quick to resent + The least offer of pay: +May he soften his heart + As he softened, we're told, +To the Israelite's 'touch,' + The Egyptian of old; +And when on his last + Long account he shall look, +The angel will say + As he closes the book: +"The Lord gives you Credit + For Credit you gave"! +So here's to the Creditor-- + Long may he waive. + + +[Illustration] + + +TO NEPTUNE + + +A health to King Neptune, + The boss of the wave! +Who sits on the Ocean + And makes it behave. +Come fill up your bumpers + And take a long pull! +When he's calm he's not dry-- + When he rolls, he's not full. + +Whether sober or rough, + He's always a sport, +And we'll never stop toasting him + Till we're in port. +A jolly old salt, + Though he smile or he frown. +So here's to King Neptune! + Fill up! Drink her down! + + +[Illustration] + + +We drink your health, O Waiter! + And may you be preserved +From old age, gout, or sudden death!-- + At least till supper's served. + +TO THE WAITER + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to temptation! +Give us strength and grace +Against her witching smile, +To set our face! + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to the maid with Fancy Free; +If Cupid's necromancy +Imprison not her heart, maybe, +It will arrest her Fancy. + + +[Illustration] + + +To our Sweethearts and Wives, +The joy of our lives! +May our Wives be our Sweethearts-- +Our Sweethearts, our Wives. + + +_To Our Readers_ + +Here's to our Readers, Health! good Looks! +And Joy _ad infinitum_ +And may they live to read our Books +As long as we may write 'em. + + +[Illustration] + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Happy Days, by Oliver Herford and John Cecil Clay + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 23614-8.txt or 23614-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/6/1/23614/ + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Happy Days + +Author: Oliver Herford + John Cecil Clay + +Release Date: November 25, 2007 [EBook #23614] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="box"> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 1]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 310px;"> +<img src="images/img1.jpg" width="310" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -32em;"></div> + </div> + +<h2><em>To Stern Critics</em></h2> + +<p> +<span class="poem">Here’s to stern Critics!</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">May they some day learn</span><br /> +<span class="poem">The forward lookout’s</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">Better than the stern!</span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 14em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 357px;"> +<img src="images/img5.jpg" width="357" height="506" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="sml"> +<span class="poem4">Here’s to her shadow!</span><br /> +<span class="poem4">May it mark the hours</span><br /> +<span class="poem4">Upon the sundial of her life—</span><br /> +<span class="poem4">in flowers!</span></p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 5]</span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -42em;"></div> + </div> + +<h1>HAPPY DAYS</h1> + +<p class="sml"> </p> + +<h3>BY</h3> + +<h2>OLIVER HERFORD</h2> + +<h3>AND</h3> + +<h2>JOHN CECIL CLAY</h2> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<h3>NEW YORK</h3> + +<h4>MITCHELL KENNERLEY</h4> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 6em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 6]</span></p> + +<p class="smlc">COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY<br /> +MITCHELL KENNERLEY</p> + +<p> </p> + +<p class="smlc">THE·PLIMPTON·PRESS<br /> +NORWOOD·MASS·U·S·A</p> + + + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 7]</span></p><hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><em>CONTENTS</em></h2> + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="7" cellspacing="0" summary=""> + +<tr> <td align='left'></td> <td align='right'>PAGE</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_3">To Stern Critics</a></span></td> <td align='right'>3</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_4">To Her Shadow</a></span></td> <td align='right'>4</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_9">To Fashion</a></span></td> <td align='right'>9</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_11">To the Typewriter</a></span></td> <td align='right'>11</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_12">The Floor</a></span></td> <td align='right'>12</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_15">To Music</a></span></td> <td align='right'>15</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_17">To the Publisher</a></span></td> <td align='right'>17</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_19">Here’s Looking</a></span></td> <td align='right'>19</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_21">The Dove of Peace</a></span></td> <td align='right'>21</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_23">To the Clock</a></span></td> <td align='right'>23</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_25">To Hope</a></span></td> <td align='right'>25</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_27">To Liberty</a></span></td> <td align='right'>27</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_29">Stairs: A Toast</a></span></td> <td align='right'>29</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_31">To Lady Nicotine</a></span></td> <td align='right'>31</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_33">Oh, Editor, Editor!</a></span></td> <td align='right'>33</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_35">To the Creditor</a></span></td> <td align='right'>35</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_37">To Neptune</a></span></td> <td align='right'>37</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_39">To the Waiter</a></span></td> <td align='right'>39</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_41">To Temptation</a></span></td> <td align='right'>41</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_43">To the Maid with Fancy Free</a></span></td> <td align='right'>43</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_45">To Our Sweethearts</a></span></td> <td align='right'>45</td> </tr> +<tr> <td align='left'><span class="smcap"><a href="#Page_46">To Our Readers</a></span></td> <td align='right'>46</td> </tr> + +</table></div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 8]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 372px;"> +<img src="images/img9.jpg" width="372" height="507" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -39em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem2s">FASHION! <em>Lovely Dame!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>Pledge in sparkling wine!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>Let us add her name</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>To the Muses’ nine!</em></span></p> + +<p><span class="poem2s">THOUGH <em>the lovely Nin</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>All should pass away</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>Why should Woman pine,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>If but Fashion stay?</em></span></p> + +<p><span class="poem2s">THO’ <em>the Muses’ lore</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>Molder on the shelf,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>Still may She adore</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>In Fashion’s glass—Herself.</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 10em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 10]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 442px;"> +<img src="images/img11.jpg" width="442" height="400" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -42em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><em>To<br /> +The Typewriter</em></p> + +<p><span class="poem">Here’s to the Typewriter!</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">Health to her type!</span><br /> +<span class="poem">Whether blond or brunette</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">Or budding or ripe.</span><br /> +<span class="poem">If she be the right type</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">Be she buxom or slight,</span><br /> +<span class="poem">When she doesn’t type wrong</span><br /> + <span class="poem1">She is sure to typewrite.</span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 7em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 302px;"> +<img src="images/img13.jpg" width="302" height="159" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + + +<h2>THE FLOOR</h2> + +<p><span class="poem2s">Here’s to the floor,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">Our best friend of all,</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">Who sticks to us close</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">In the time of our fall.</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">When benches are fickle</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">And tables betray</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">And rugs are revolving,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">He meets us half-way.</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">Our stay and support,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">When we can’t stand alone,</span><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 13]</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">With the floor for a backer,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">We’ll never be thrown.</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">Here’s to our friend,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">In life’s every stage!</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">Dry nurse of infancy,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">Wet nurse of age!</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>A health</em> to our floor!</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">Supporter and stay;</span><br /> +<span class="poem2s">Though he often be full,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3s">May he never give way!</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<img src="images/img14.jpg" width="400" height="265" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 14]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<img src="images/img15.jpg" width="400" height="238" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgbordermusic.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -42em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><em>To<br />Music</em><br /><br /></p> + +<p> +<span class="poem2">Here’s to Music,</span><br /> + <span class="poem3">Joy of joys!</span><br /> +<span class="poem2">One man’s music’s</span><br /> + <span class="poem3">Another man’s noise.</span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 17em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 16]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 349px;"> +<img src="images/img17.jpg" width="349" height="518" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -36em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem5">TO THE <em>Publisher!—Drink!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Let his virtue be shown</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>In the</em> Good Works <em>of others</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>If not in his own.</em></span></p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<p class="smlc">TO<br /> +THE PUBLISHER</p> + +<div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 10em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 18]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 453px;"> +<img src="images/img19.jpg" width="453" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -35.5em;"></div> + </div> + +<p> +<span class="poem5">Here’s <em>looking</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>at you, dear!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>though I should pour</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>A sea of wine,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>my eyes would</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>thirst for more.</em></span></p> + +<div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 14em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 20]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 347px;"> +<img src="images/img21.jpg" width="347" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -41em;"></div> + </div> + +<p> +<span class="poem5">HERE’S <em>to the Dove of Peace!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>May she find a mate some day,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>And may her tribe increase</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>As fast as she can lay!</em></span></p> + +<p> </p> + +<p> +<span class="poem5">WITH <em>cooing doves galore</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Then may the sky be dark</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>Until the Dogs of War</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Can’t see each other bark!</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 9em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 22]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<img src="images/img23.jpg" width="300" height="508" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -38em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem5">Here’s <em>to the Clock!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Whose hands, we pray heaven,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>When we come home at three,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Have stopped at eleven!</em></span></p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<p class="smlc">TO<br /> +THE CLOCK</p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 8em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 24]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 419px;"> +<img src="images/img25.jpg" width="419" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -38em;"></div> + </div> + +<p> +<span class="poem">Here’s <em>to Hope,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>the child of Care,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>And pretty sister</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>of Despair!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>Here’s hoping that</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>Hope’s children shan’t</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>Take after their Grandma</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1"><em>or Aunt!</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 10em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 26]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 367px;"> +<img src="images/img27.jpg" width="367" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -34em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">To Liberty</span></p> + +<p> +<span class="poem5">Here’s <em>to our Goddess, Liberty,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>Idol of bronze and stone!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5"><em>May she awake to life some day</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem"><em>And let her charms be known.</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 14em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 28]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 272px;"> +<img src="images/img29.jpg" width="272" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -45em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap"><strong>Stairs</strong></span><br /> +<span class="smcap">a toast</span></p> + +<p> +<span class="poem2s">Here’s <em>to the man who</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>invented stairs</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>And taught our feet</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>to soar!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>He was the first who</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>ever burst</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>Into a second floor.</em></span></p> + +<p> +<span class="poem2s"><em>The world would be</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>downstairs to-day</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>Had he not found</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>the key;</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2s"><em>So let his name go</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6s"><em>down to fame,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem3s"><em>Whatever it may be.</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 5em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 30]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<img src="images/img31.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -44em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">To<br /> +Our Lady Nicotine</span></p> + +<p><span class="poem5s">Here’s <em>to Lady Nicotine!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Saint and Sorceress</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1s"><em>and Queen!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Saint, whose purple</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1s"><em>halo rings</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Lift our eyes from</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1s"><em>earthly things;</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Witch, whose wand of</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1s"><em>scented briar</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Transmutes dead weeds</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1s"><em>to fragrant fire;</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>Queen, whose rod her slaves adore!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5s"><em>What can freedom offer more?</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 7em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 32]</span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 449px;"> +<img src="images/img33.jpg" width="449" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -43.5em;"></div> + </div> + +<p> +<span class="poemss">OH, EDITOR, EDITOR,</span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Awful and grand,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Who holdest our fate</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>In the palm of thy hand,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Dost ever reflect</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>How one day thy ghost</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>To an Editor awf’ler</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>And grander will post?</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Before him a great</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Golden scroll is spread wide,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>And a bottomless waste-basket</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Yawns at his side.</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>With a swift searching glance</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>He reads through thy soul,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Then he looks at the basket,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Then looks at the scroll;</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>He purses his lips</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>And nibbles his pen,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>And frowns for one long</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Awful moment—and then—</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Oh, Editor!—think! if thy</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>Poor crumpled soul</em></span><br /> +<span class="poemss"><em>Fall into the basket</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem1ss"><em>And not in the scroll!</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 5.5em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 34]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<img src="images/img35.jpg" width="350" height="550" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -45em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap"><em>To<br /> +The Creditor</em></span></p> + +<p><span class="poem1ss">Here’s to the Creditor,</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">Long may he reign!</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">May his Faith never waver,</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">His Trust never wane.</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">May the Lord make him gentle</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">And gracious and gay,</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">Yet quick to resent</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">The least offer of pay:</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">May he soften his heart</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">As he softened, we’re told,</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">To the Israelite’s ‘touch,’</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">The Egyptian of old;</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">And when on his last</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">Long account he shall look,</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">The angel will say</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">As he closes the book:</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">“The Lord gives you Credit</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">For Credit you gave”!</span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss">So here’s to the Creditor—</span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss">Long may he waive.</span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 6em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 36]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/img37.jpg" width="500" height="410" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -42em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">To<br /> +Neptune</span></p> + +<p><span class="poem1ss">A health <em>to King Neptune,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>The boss of the wave!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>Who sits on the Ocean</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>And makes it behave.</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>Come fill up your bumpers</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>And take a long pull!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>When he’s calm he’s not dry—</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>When he rolls, he’s not full.</em></span></p> + +<p><span class="poem1ss">Whether <em>sober or rough,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>He’s always a sport,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>And we’ll never stop toasting him</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>Till we’re in port.</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>A jolly old salt,</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>Though he smile or he frown.</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem1ss"><em>So here’s to King Neptune!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem6ss"><em>Fill up! Drink her down!</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 7em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 38]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 283px;"> +<img src="images/img39.jpg" width="283" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -40em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem7">WE DRINK <em>your health, O Waiter!</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem5"><em>And may you be preserved</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem7"><em>From old age, gout, or sudden death!—</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem5"><em>At least till supper’s served.</em></span></p> + +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> + +<p class="smlc">TO<br /> +THE WAITER +</p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 9em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 40]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 425px;"> +<img src="images/img41.jpg" width="425" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -32em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem">Here’s <em>to temptation!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>Give us strength and grace</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>Against her witching smile,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem"><em>To set our face!</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 16em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 42]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/img43.jpg" width="500" height="472" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -39em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem2">Here’s <em>to the maid</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem2"><em>with Fancy Free;</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2"><em>If Cupid’s</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem2"><em>necromancy</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2"><em>Imprison not</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem2"><em>her heart, maybe,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem2"><em>It will arrest</em></span><br /> + <span class="poem2"><em>her Fancy.</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 11em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 44]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 360px;"> +<img src="images/img45.jpg" width="360" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -32em;"></div> + </div> + +<p><span class="poem7">To <em>our Sweethearts and Wives,</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem7"><em>The joy of our lives!</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem7"><em>May our Wives be our Sweethearts—</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem7"><em>Our Sweethearts, our Wives.</em></span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 16em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span></p> + +<div class="wrap_area"> +<img src="images/imgpgborder.jpg" width="550" height="748" alt="page border" title="" /> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-top: -38em;"></div> + </div> + +<p class="center"><em>To Our Readers</em></p> + +<p><span class="poem5">Here’s to our Readers, Health!</span><br /> + <span class="poem6">good Looks!</span><br /> + <span class="poem">And Joy <em>ad infinitum</em></span><br /> +<span class="poem5">And may they live to read</span><br /> + <span class="poem6">our Books</span><br /> + <span class="poem">As long as we may write ’em.</span></p> + + <div class="shape_wrap"> + <div style="width: 100px; height: 10px; margin-bottom: 12em;"></div> + </div> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 47]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 310px;"> +<img src="images/img48.jpg" width="310" height="500" alt="image" title="" /> +</div> + +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Happy Days, by Oliver Herford and John Cecil Clay + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 23614-h.htm or 23614-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/6/1/23614/ + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Happy Days + +Author: Oliver Herford + John Cecil Clay + +Release Date: November 25, 2007 [EBook #23614] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + +_To Stern Critics_ + +Here's to stern Critics! + May they some day learn +The forward lookout's + Better than the stern! + + +[Illustration] + +Here's to her shadow! +May it mark the hours +Upon the sundial of her life--in flowers! + + + * * * * * + + + HAPPY DAYS + + BY + OLIVER HERFORD + AND + JOHN CECIL CLAY + + + NEW YORK + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + THE.PLIMPTON.PRESS + NORWOOD.MASS.U.S.A + + + * * * * * + + +_CONTENTS_ + + PAGE +TO STERN CRITICS 3 +TO HER SHADOW 4 +TO FASHION 9 +TO THE TYPEWRITER 11 +THE FLOOR 12 +TO MUSIC 15 +TO THE PUBLISHER 17 +HERE'S LOOKING 19 +THE DOVE OF PEACE 21 +TO THE CLOCK 23 +TO HOPE 25 +TO LIBERTY 27 +STAIRS: A TOAST 29 +TO LADY NICOTINE 31 +OH, EDITOR, EDITOR! 33 +TO THE CREDITOR 35 +TO NEPTUNE 37 +TO THE WAITER 39 +TO TEMPTATION 41 +TO THE MAID WITH FANCY FREE 43 +TO OUR SWEETHEARTS 45 +TO OUR READERS 46 + + + * * * * * + + +[Illustration:] + + +Fashion! Lovely Dame! + Pledge in sparkling wine! +Let us add her name + To the Muses' nine! + +Though the lovely Nin + All should pass away +Why should Woman pine, + If but Fashion stay? + +Tho' the Muses' lore + Molder on the shelf, +Still may She adore + In Fashion's glass--Herself. + + +[Illustration:] + + +_To The Typewriter_ + +Here's to the Typewriter! + Health to her type! +Whether blond or brunette + Or budding or ripe. +If she be the right type + Be she buxom or slight, +When she doesn't type wrong + She is sure to typewrite. + + +[Illustration] + +THE FLOOR + +Here's to the floor, + Our best friend of all, +Who sticks to us close + In the time of our fall. +When benches are fickle + And tables betray +And rugs are revolving, + He meets us half-way. +Our stay and support, + When we can't stand alone, +With the floor for a backer, + We'll never be thrown. +Here's to our friend, + In life's every stage! +Dry nurse of infancy, + Wet nurse of age! +_A health_ to our floor! + Supporter and stay; +Though he often be full, + May he never give way! + +[Illustration] + + +[Illustration:] + + +_To Music_ + +Here's to Music, + Joy of joys! +One man's music's + Another man's noise. + +[Illustration:] + + +[Illustration:] + + +To The Publisher!--Drink! + Let his virtue be shown +In the _Good Works_ of others + If not in his own. + +TO THE PUBLISHER + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's looking + at you, dear! + though I should pour +A sea of wine, + my eyes would + thirst for more. + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's to the Dove of Peace! + May she find a mate some day, +And may her tribe increase + As fast as she can lay! + +<tb> + +With cooing doves galore + Then may the sky be dark +Until the Dogs of War + Can't see each other bark! + + +[Illustration:] + + +Here's to the Clock! + Whose hands, we pray heaven, +When we come home at three, + Have stopped at eleven! + +TO THE CLOCK + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to Hope, + the child of Care, +And pretty sister + of Despair! +Here's hoping that + Hope's children shan't +Take after their Grandma + or Aunt! + + +[Illustration] + + +TO LIBERTY + +Here's to our Goddess, Liberty, + Idol of bronze and stone! +May she awake to life some day + And let her charms be known. + + +[Illustration] + + +STAIRS +A TOAST + +Here's to the man who invented stairs + And taught our feet to soar! +He was the first who ever burst + Into a second floor. + +The world would be downstairs to-day + Had he not found the key; +So let his name go down to fame, + Whatever it may be. + + +[Illustration] + + +TO OUR LADY NICOTINE + +Here's to Lady Nicotine! +Saint and Sorceress and Queen! +Saint, whose purple halo rings +Lift our eyes from earthly things; +Witch, whose wand of scented briar +Transmutes dead weeds to fragrant fire; +Queen, whose rod her slaves adore! +What can freedom offer more? + + +[Illustration] + + +OH, EDITOR, EDITOR, + Awful and grand, +Who holdest our fate + In the palm of thy hand, +Dost ever reflect + How one day thy ghost +To an Editor awf'ler + And grander will post? +Before him a great + Golden scroll is spread wide, +And a bottomless waste-basket + Yawns at his side. +With a swift searching glance + He reads through thy soul, +Then he looks at the basket, + Then looks at the scroll; +He purses his lips + And nibbles his pen, +And frowns for one long + Awful moment--and then-- +Oh, Editor!--think! if thy + Poor crumpled soul +Fall into the basket + And not in the scroll! + + +[Illustration] + + +_To The Creditor_ + +Here's to the Creditor, + Long may he reign! +May his Faith never waver, + His Trust never wane. +May the Lord make him gentle + And gracious and gay, +Yet quick to resent + The least offer of pay: +May he soften his heart + As he softened, we're told, +To the Israelite's 'touch,' + The Egyptian of old; +And when on his last + Long account he shall look, +The angel will say + As he closes the book: +"The Lord gives you Credit + For Credit you gave"! +So here's to the Creditor-- + Long may he waive. + + +[Illustration] + + +TO NEPTUNE + + +A health to King Neptune, + The boss of the wave! +Who sits on the Ocean + And makes it behave. +Come fill up your bumpers + And take a long pull! +When he's calm he's not dry-- + When he rolls, he's not full. + +Whether sober or rough, + He's always a sport, +And we'll never stop toasting him + Till we're in port. +A jolly old salt, + Though he smile or he frown. +So here's to King Neptune! + Fill up! Drink her down! + + +[Illustration] + + +We drink your health, O Waiter! + And may you be preserved +From old age, gout, or sudden death!-- + At least till supper's served. + +TO THE WAITER + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to temptation! +Give us strength and grace +Against her witching smile, +To set our face! + + +[Illustration] + + +Here's to the maid with Fancy Free; +If Cupid's necromancy +Imprison not her heart, maybe, +It will arrest her Fancy. + + +[Illustration] + + +To our Sweethearts and Wives, +The joy of our lives! +May our Wives be our Sweethearts-- +Our Sweethearts, our Wives. + + +_To Our Readers_ + +Here's to our Readers, Health! good Looks! +And Joy _ad infinitum_ +And may they live to read our Books +As long as we may write 'em. + + +[Illustration] + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Happy Days, by Oliver Herford and John Cecil Clay + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HAPPY DAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 23614.txt or 23614.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/2/3/6/1/23614/ + +Produced by Anne Storer and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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