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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/24070-8.txt b/24070-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a70c94b --- /dev/null +++ b/24070-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8031 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Girls at Mount Morris, by Amanda Minnie +Douglas + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Girls at Mount Morris + + +Author: Amanda Minnie Douglas + + + +Release Date: December 29, 2007 [eBook #24070] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS*** + + +E-text prepared by Roger Frank and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 24070-h.htm or 24070-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/0/7/24070/24070-h/24070-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/0/7/24070/24070-h.zip) + + + + + +THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS + +by + +AMANDA M. DOUGLAS + +Author of "Sherburne Series," "A Little Girl Series," +"A Modern Cinderella," Etc. + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Went Scudding Through the Park (Chap. 6. +Girls at Mt. Morris)] + + + +M. A. Donohue & Co. +Chicago + +Copyright 1914 +M. A. Donohue & Company +Chicago + +Made in U. S. A. + + + + +CONTENTS + + I Looking the Future in the Face 1 + II A New Outlook 22 + III Food For Consideration 39 + IV The Grace of Endeavor 58 + V Zaidee 77 + VI An Escapade and What Came of It 100 + VII A Supreme Moment 118 + VIII A Strange Confession 134 + IX Whose Child Am I? 154 + X Unraveling Tangled Threads 171 + XI Standing Up to the Mark 186 + XII Oh, Will I Be Welcome? 204 + XIII A Mother’s Love 220 + XIV Going Out of the Old Life 244 + XV Your True Home 267 + XVI Out of Her Loyalty 287 + + + + +THE GIRLS AT MT. MORRIS + +CHAPTER I + +LOOKING THE FUTURE IN THE FACE + + +Lilian Boyd entered the small, rather shabby room, neat, though +everything was well worn. Her mother sat by a little work table busy +with some muslin sewing and she looked up with a weary smile. Lilian +laid a five-dollar bill on the table. + +"Madame Lupton sails on Saturday," she said. "Oh how splendid it must be +to go to Paris! Mrs. Cairns is to finish up; there is only a little to +do, but Madame said everything you did was so neat, so well finished +that she should be very glad to have you by the first of October." + +The mother sighed. "Meanwhile there is almost two months to provide for, +and I had to break in the last hundred dollars to pay the rent. Oh +Lilian! I hardly know which way to turn. I am not strong any more, I +have made every effort to--" and her voice broke, "but I am afraid you +will have to give up school." + +She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. + +"Oh, mother, don't! don't!" the girl implored. "I suppose it was +selfish of me to think of such a thing and you couldn't go through two +years more. You are not as well as you were a year ago. I'll see Sally +Meeks tonight and take the place in the factory. I only have to give two +weeks and then begin on five dollars a week. It will be better than the +sewing." + +Lilian Boyd stood up very straight and determined, though her heart sank +within her. To give up her cherished wish, to join the great army of +shop girls with no hope of advancement in the future! She was almost +sixteen; she had been two years in the High School and was a favorite +scholar. Two years more and she could teach. It was in the walk of life +that she so ardently desired. Tall for her age, vigorous, with courage +and earnestness in every line of the face that was fine, now, to the +casual observer and might develop into beauty. It was spirited, eager, +with a clear complexion, deep blue eyes that in some moods seemed black, +while the hair was light and abundant. The brows and lashes were much +darker. The features were regular, the chin broad and cleft, but it was +the courage and uplift in the face that gave it character. + +The mother was so different. It was not altogether a weak face but +intensely commonplace; the sort of woman who has no ambitions beyond the +ordinary round of life. Was it the old story of the eagle in the dove's +nest? + +"You are very tired," she began, presently. "Lie down on the lounge +while I get supper." + +Mrs. Boyd was still crying softly. Lilian kissed her, threw a light +shawl over her shoulders, then lighted the gas burner and set on the +kettle. She would run out and get a chop for her mother, some for +breakfast as well. Yes, she must begin to be the care taker, she had +been so engrossed with her studies and giving her help with the sewing +they did for a dressmaking establishment that she had hardly noted. She +swallowed over a great lump in her throat, it was a bitter sacrifice and +yet she must make it. She could not even study during the evenings for +she must help with the sewing, and if her mother should be ill! + +The little supper was tastily arranged, the tea and the chop had an +unwonted fragrance. + +"I'm awfully sorry," said the mother, "but Sally says it is a nice shop +and the boss is particular about the kind of girls he has, and to think +Sally's earning nine dollars a week now!" + +"Yes, Sally's a nice pleasant girl," that was all she could trust her +voice to say. + +"And it will be company back and forth. Maybe--sometime--" + +Oh, had she been right in that long ago time? It seemed ages to her, so +much had happened since, and she thought she could not live without the +child, but after all the girl was not of her kind. What if she had done +her a great wrong! She had never been an introspective woman, her life +was mostly on the surface, with commonplace aims and desires. + +The kitchen was small, the middle room not much larger, but it had two +nice windows, the front was on a much neglected street with a big +carpenter's shop across the way. They used that for a sleeping room and +it had in it the remnant of better days. The sewing room was much more +quiet. + +Lilian cleared away the things. Mrs. Boyd went back to the lounge. Then +the girl went down the street. She had best make her sacrifice at once, +it was not a subject to ponder over and she realized it had been a big +black cloud hanging about her the last month. + +Sally's mother sat out on the small porch gossiping with a neighbor. + +"Oh, Lily Boyd," she exclaimed. "Sally was coming up on Saturday but +she had to fly round like a bee in a flower garden. It want her turn to +go to the Rest House, but the other girl couldn't--sickness at home. So +Sally went in her place. Splendid, isn't it! And board only two dollars +a week. I tell Sally she's got the nicest boss we've ever heard about. +She'll be home Sat'day night and tell you all about it." + +"Yes, I want to see her. No, I can't stay. Oh, mother does not seem very +well. Good-night." + +Lilian did not go straight home. This was the old part of the town there +were no real cottages and little gardens fragrant with flowers, but +people were huddled in them. There would presently be factories and +tenement houses. + +She was making a sharp, desperate fight. Strong natures have to. Why was +she born with these ambitions and aims and capabilities and the ardent +desire to do something? All girls did not have them. Some in the class +laughed and made merry without a thought of the future. Some expected to +teach and 'just hated it.' She would have been so glad. Well the dream +must be given up--at least for years. It would be horrible to count on +her mother's death for freedom. She shuddered. + +They went to bed, but neither of them slept until after midnight. Now +and then Lilian heard a soft sob. She felt that she ought to comfort her +mother, but what could she say? Since she had been growing up she had +become aware of a barrier between them. Mrs. Boyd had loved her +fervently as a little girl, she had not taken any special pride in her +entering the High School with such a fine record. She was in no sense an +ambitious or an intellectual woman and the girl's vigor and intentness +sometimes frightened her. She should have been in some other sphere. + +Lilian sank into a sort of dull apathy, questioning everything as youth +often does under a great disappointment. What was the use of living if +one could never attain the things one desired? She was not like Sally +nor dozens of other girls. Their commonplace lives would be martyrdom to +her. + +So they both slept late. Lilian prepared the simple breakfast. + +"Perhaps it would be a good thing to get out last winter's clothes and +see what can be fixed over," said the mother. "But you have grown so +much this year, Lilian." + +Oh, if clothes mattered, if anything mattered! There was the postman's +whistle. + +Quite a thick letter for her mother in a neat lady's hand. + +"Why that's funny," and a smile brightened the girl's face. + +Mrs. Boyd glanced it over. "Why it's from Mrs. Searing. She was here +last March, you know. She has always taken such an interest in you, +and--oh read it, read it aloud. My head is so bad this morning." + +She began to cry again. + +Helen took the letter. The first page was full of friendly interest and +then she branched off into a delightful visit she had been making at a +very pretty place, one of the old fashioned aristocratic towns where a +relative kept a select and high class Seminary for young ladies. She had +found her in something of a quandary. The woman who had taken charge of +the bed and table line and a sort of general seamstress had suddenly +married, and it was necessary to fill her place before school opened. +She wanted a middle aged person with some experience who was neat and +careful. She would have a pleasant room and the duties would not be +arduous. There was a housekeeper and several maids beside the cook. + +"So," wrote Mrs. Searing, "I told her about Lilian, remembering you had +said you were afraid you could not keep her in school to finish, and her +ambition to be a teacher. She was wonderfully interested and I told her +somewhat of your misfortunes and struggles. So she proposes that you +shall accept this position and that Lilian shall take a sort of +supervision of some of the younger pupils and go on with her own +education. Mrs. Barrington has been very kind and helpful to several +young girls and I know Lilian will admire her extremely." + +The girl sprang up with a glad cry and flung her arms around her +mother's neck. + +"Oh, let us go, let us go! Why it seems like a miracle," and then she +was crying, too, from an overwrought heart. + +Presently she resumed the letter. They would have a pleasant room +together, considerable leisure, and there would be music, a fine library +beside that in the town and the society was charming. The mother's +salary was a very fair one and in another year the daughter might be +able to earn something for herself. Mrs. Searing really urged the +matter. Would Mrs. Boyd write at once to Mrs. Barrington? + +"Oh, mother, to think! No rent to pay, no bills to meet, no bother of +cooking and house keeping. It seems too good to be true. Let me read it +over again lest I must have skipped something." + +It seemed more attractive at the second perusal. Lilian's heart beat +with unwonted emotion. Mrs. Boyd leaned back in her chair, paler than +ever but not quite so depressed. + +"You must answer it, Lilian; I couldn't make it sound right, and you can +tell her about yourself; I don't understand all these things. I never +had any high up education. People were not thinking of it then." + +Lilian was glad to do it. She knew a person of refinement and education +would see what her mother missed and perhaps doubt her ability. She made +a draft and read it aloud to Mrs. Boyd. + +"It sounds beautiful; I couldn't have done it." + +Was it education that gave one the power, the sense of what was +appropriate, or some underlying fact that she dared not face? What if it +had been a great mistake in that far back time? Could it ever be +remedied? + +"Oh, mother, I thought last night that I shouldn't want to live if I +could never reach any of my aims. When I hear delicious music I feel it +in my very finger ends. When I read about pictures and statuary and +magnificent churches I can almost see them, and a rift in the sky, an +autumnal branch of red brown leaves, nooks that I have seen now and +then, looks that are grand and high and beautiful stir my very soul. +Where did I get this from? Was my father--" + +She looked really beautiful standing there, her eyes full of +inspiration, her cheeks aglow, her scarlet lips quivering. Mrs. Boyd +trembled with a mysterious chill, and a shiver went over her. + +"Oh, no, no! he was a plain man, a good, honest man"--her voice failed. + +"And if he had lived we should have been very happy, I know; and I did +like the boarding house better. I wish we could have kept it, but to sit +here day after day and not see any way out of the narrow distasteful +life, feeling as if you could fly--am I wicked? Poor little mother do I +frighten you? Oh, don't cry, I am going to be a good daughter and not +wish for impossible things if this comes true." + +She clasped her mother's hands that were seldom idle so long. How thin +they were with dullish, prominent veins. The mother looked past her +child rather than at her, but she could feel the glowing, spirited force +like a ghost out of the past that shook its upbraiding finger at her. +She leaned her face on Lilian's breast. + +"Poor mother, dear mother," in a sweet comforting tone. "I'm afraid I +haven't always been a loving daughter, but whatever comes we will share +it together. In a few years I will be working for you, that is the +splendid side to this offer." + +"But--if you shouldn't be--some girls, young ladies think they must draw +a line--" + +"Oh, I shall not mind that if I suit Mrs. Barrington. I shall go to work +and to study, and when I reach some high place in teaching, I shall +smile over those petty things. A boy gets praised when he works for his +education, why shouldn't a girl?" + +Then she brought out her paper and wrote her letter. She wished her +stationery had been finer, but she would not spend the money to gratify +pride. Then she went and posted it and bought some little luxuries for +dinner. After they had partaken of it she made her mother lie down and +take a good rest while she went over some of her school books and worked +out several problems. + +Yet the waiting was very wearing. Sally came after having had a +splendid time at the Rest House and said she, Lilian, could come in two +weeks. She wrote a letter to her mother's friend Mrs. Searing who was +most happy that they had accepted the position, and enclosed a +ten-dollar note to buy some of the little things young girls long for. + +They took out last winter's clothing, but alas, it was outgrown and well +worn. + +"When we hear you must have a new outfit," the mother commented. + +"But it seems dreadful to break into your last resource," said the girl +regretfully. + +"But I shall be able to replace it from my salary, for as you said we +shall have no expense in the future for living. Oh, what a blessed +relief! Mrs. Searing has been our good providence." + +"And you are quite happy about it?" + +"Yes, oh yes!" + +The mother watched her elastic step, her proud carriage, the attractive +face that had so much vigor and purpose. Oh, she was not of her kind. At +times the thought was terrifying. + +Then the longed for letter came. It began: + +"My dear Miss Boyd. I was much pleased with your letter and the +consideration evinced for your mother. I hope the change will benefit +her. Mount Morris is considered a very healthy place and it is certainly +beautiful. I hope you will both be very happy here, and you seem not +only an ambitious girl but quite willing to work for the things you +desire." Then follows a description of the school and the duties, and +what would be expected of the mother, the routes of travel and several +time tables enclosed. Mrs. Barrington would like them to come as soon +after the 20th of August as they could. + +Lilian could not conceal her joy. They shopped a little, finding some +bargains from early spring left-overs. They packed up a few things and +disposed of the rest. Lilian's few friends were surprised. Sally hoped +she would not be disappointed. + +"Mount Morris has such a pretty sound," exclaimed Lilian, "and I think +Mrs. Barrington is a tall and stately woman with the grand beauty you +sometimes see in a picture. I want her complexion to be lovely and her +hair snowy white, and her voice like the music that makes you feel sorry +when it stops. I want to like her very much, and make myself useful to +her." + +"I am quite sure she will like you," returned the mother. + +Lilian felt as if she could dance and sing. Was there such a thing as +being too glad and happy? To go out of this poor old life with its +pinches, and the sordid economies to a lovely home! She read Mrs. +Searing's letter over and over again. These were the things that +appealed to her, that she enjoyed in every fibre of her being. She +glanced at her mother. Why the face was almost stolid! Oh, that was +wicked! She had been so good and kind. Was it not the hard grind of +poverty and hopeless work, never making any advance, that quenched the +vitality of soul and brain? She must make her mark before hope dropped +out of the years. She had watched her teachers in a curious manner, +though she was too young to understand analysis of character. Some were +favorites, some had favorites, girls who were of the noted families or +had prosperity back of them. There were others, one she had liked very +much who seemed to study with you, to help you to understand. Her +classes always had many of the finest pupils. That was the kind of +teacher she meant to be. + +Of course there had been slights, sometimes sneers. These lilies of the +field in their fine array longed to crowd their mates out in the arid, +dusty highway. She stood her ground and she was a fine scholar. She was +helpful, too; she had no sneers or cruel laughs over the blunders of +others. + +A few of her mates were truly sorry to part with her and surprised to +find she was going to a high-up Seminary to be trained for a teacher. +The teacher she liked so much was away on her vacation. + +So they left the old noisy, dirty factory city. It was Lilian's first +journey in the great world. And oh how large and beautiful it was! They +passed thriving towns, beautiful villages, great fields of waving corn, +fruit orchards, then towns again, rivers, lakes, high hills cleft by +rocky passes that sparkled in places as if set by gems. Then stretches +so serene so instinct with fairy beauty she drew long breaths and +dreamed of delightful futures, and what is a girl of sixteen filled with +a love of beauty and ambition worth if she cannot dream some grand +ventures. + +Mrs. Boyd was not interested in the scenery. She gave a quiet assent to +the girl's enthusiasms and presently Lilian ceased to appeal. It was so +when she had read stirring prose or exquisite poetry aloud. + +Mrs. Boyd was going over her past life. It had been much in her mind +the last year. A commonplace factory girl earning her living, an orphan +at that. Her dream was a lover, presently, marriage, a little home, and +keeping it tidy, and babies of her very own. The lover came, a nice +steady machinist with a little education, saving up money, marriage and +the home of a few rooms, buying this and that of the simplest kind, and +then the baby, a nice, plump, blue-eyed boy who grew apace and was the +delight of both. What more could she ask for? That was certainly +content. + +He took out a small life insurance, though it almost broke her heart to +think of his dying. And she never dreamed of the baby. He was so well +and strong and joyous. Yet a few days' illness swept him out of the +world, and almost broke their hearts. Then a little girl came. She liked +girls the best, they were more to the mother. She could make their +clothes, they could go out together. Then lovers would come and +marriage, and all the everyday interest of new lives. + +One sad day James Boyd was brought home dead. Something had gone wrong +with the machinery and before it could be stopped his life had been +beaten out. Neighbors were kind to her, the employer took charge of the +funeral, but there were other sorrows and losses in the world. + +She had one brother of whom she had seen very little, as he had gone +West when a mere boy. He had a big farm and five children and he wrote +for her to come out, as his wife had recently died. The steady home +looked so inviting. Yes, she would go. + +The life insurance had been well invested by a friend of her husbands'. + +"Don't disturb it," he counseled. "You may not like it there and want to +come back, and your brother may marry again. There's enough to give you +a nice start in something." + +If she had never gone! How many times she had wondered! For midway in +the journey there was a horrible accident in a small town where two +roads crossed. The child flew out of her arms and she lay unconscious. +There was no hospital. Kindly neighbors took in the wounded and the +dead. + +When she came to herself one morning the child was fretting and she +nursed it. She could not remember distinctly, but they were both alive +and she gave thanks as she hugged the child to her heart. + +"Will you have some breakfast? You had a good natural sleep last night, +and the baby is all right. The other poor baby was killed and its mother +is dying, maybe dead now. There was so much confusion. The baggage car +was wrecked and burned, the trunks lost, and it seems so hard to get on +track of relatives. Some cannot be identified." + +The listener shuddered. Then the breakfast came and she ate it with an +eager appetite. + +"You might try getting up by and by. The railroad company are doing all +they can and sending passengers to their destination." + +"When was it?" in a tremulous tone. + +"Two days ago; well, it will be three tonight. It was hardly midnight +when it happened. I never was in an accident before. It was awful." + +Emma Boyd sat up in the bed and took the child in her arms, studying it +earnestly. Oh, how sweet and rosy it was with its dimpled mouth and its +fringe of soft hair. Then she laid it down and crept out of bed, feeling +rather shaky, but having the use of all her limbs. There was the dress +hanging on her chair. She wondered what would be done. Should she go on? + +There was another pocket in the side of her skirt and she felt for +that. There was the remainder of her trip ticket and some money. She had +only put a small amount in her satchel and that was safe as well. +Rescuers had been honest. Was it a token that she should go on? + +The official was in that afternoon and made her a general allowance, she +thought, for her losses. There would be a through train at nine the next +morning if she was able to go. + +"Could I see the--the other lady. How was the baby hurt?" + +"Oh, it was all crushed. The mother was killed. One of the passengers +recognized her and the lady, and though you were stunned for a long +while you came partly to, and called for your baby. So we brought it, +and although you were not quite rational you were so happy with it and +improved rapidly. You've been fortunate, ma'am." + +"Yes," with a queer, frightened sound. + +"She's a beautiful woman and belongs to the quality, but her hip is +broken and her back twisted, and there's something hurt in her head. She +can't live--we thought her dead in the night. It's a blessing the poor +baby has gone." + +She lay like marble. A beautiful woman, truly. The eyelids with their +long lashes looked as if they were carven. There was only an infrequent +sign of respiration. + +"We hope we are on the track of some one belonging to her. The doctors +want her moved to the hospital." + +The next morning Emma Boyd journeyed out to her brother's. A coarse, +common, loud voiced farmer, rough and unkempt and five unruly children. +She was appalled, and a dreary stretch of prairie land with hardly a +neighbor in sight. Why she had been crazy to come! and she found farm +work quite too hard for her. She had better be housemaid at Laconia, or +go in the mills again. And when her brother found she had a little money +he was eager to get hold of it. Yes, she had better return to her native +town, especially as her brother was meaning to marry again. + +So she came back to Laconia which was a manufacturing town with iron +mines at its elbow. There were varying fortunes as there often is with +the poor. Mill work when she had to leave the child alone, then a +boarding house which really prospered, but was sold with some other +property for a big factory. Then housekeeping for a nervous invalid +wife, and here she had met Mrs. Searing who had proved a true friend. +After that sewing, making skirts for a dressmaker and working at +childrens' clothes. When it was dull times they drew on the little fund. +The girl was ambitious and had mapped out her own life, different from +what her mother had planned. They loved each other but it was as if two +foreign natures were trying to assimilate and there was no conformable +ground for perfect harmony. Yes, she would take this last step for the +girl's sake; she owed it to her. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +A NEW OUTLOOK + + +Lilian Boyd glanced around the station at Mount Morris with a kind of +joyous surprise and wonder. The beautiful town with its straight +streets, some of them with a narrow park in the centre, houses that were +palatial to her inexperienced eyes, with terraced lawns, wide porches, +graceful shrubbery and a profusion of flowers. True, the station was +quite at one side and a little farther down the road crossed the river +that went meandering along, too winding and shallow for business +purposes. Opposite there was a succession of wooded hills with here and +there a stately residence. + +"How beautiful, mother!" Lilian cried, moved in every pulse of her +being, her eyes lustrous with tears, her lips quivering. + +The beauty did not so move the mother. She was embarrassed and shrank +when the coachman with an authoritative air approached them. + +"Mrs. Boyd?" tentatively. There had been but few passengers and they had +gone their way. + +She glanced timidly at Lilian who answered for her. + +"Give me your checks, please, and I will order the trunks sent up." + +"There is only one," in a deprecating tone. + +Lilian was glad she had insisted on a nice new trunk. + +"This way please," and he took the girl's satchel. Mrs. Boyd followed +rather than led, but her daughter stood aside so that she should be +assisted in first. + +"What a beautiful town!" she exclaimed involuntarily. She had a feeling +that they were recovering from a reverse of fortune and this was their +rightful place. Then she smiled at the absurdity. + +Mount Morris Seminary was rather at the lower part of the town, and a +long level stretched between that and the river, broken by a few clumps +of shrubbery. The house was a handsome old style building, colonial in +its aspect with its broad piazza and fluted columns going up to the +second story. + +There was an imposing entrance, but the porte cochere was at the side +where the wide screen door showed a sort of reception hall, furnished +with willow and splint belongings, a table with magazines and papers and +two great jars of ferns. + +A tidy maid received them. "Would they please be seated, Mrs. +Barrington would be down in a moment." + +Lilian drew a long breath of rapture. To live in a place like this! To +wander in the beautiful garden, to work and study in such inspiring +environments. Yes, she had come to work as well. She had been too young +to discriminate, but in an instant she seemed to realize how bitter the +struggle with poverty and discouragement had been, the hurry with hardly +an hour's real enjoyment. No wonder it had made her mother worn and +hesitating, fearful, and here everything was so leisurely aspected. + +She heard the soft trail of a gown over the stairs and rose in eager +expectancy. + +Mrs. Barrington was a handsome woman at sixty, tall and straight, with a +gracious presence. Her hair was snowy white as the girl had hoped and +lay in loose waves about her forehead. Her dark eyes were not easily +evaded, but her manner of smiling serenity was in itself a welcome. + +"I am afraid it has been a long and tiresome journey in this warm +weather, but a few days' rest will restore you I hope. You look very +delicate, Mrs. Boyd." + +She gave the hand a friendly pressure. + +"Mother had so much to do before we started," explained Lilian, "and +the change--" + +"And the parting with old friends," with her sympathetic smile. "I hope +you will soon feel at home and like us all. Mrs. Searing gave you both +such an excellent recommendation, and I confess I take a warm interest +in girls who are eager for advancement. Now allow me to show you to your +room and shall I send you up some tea? That is a rather pleasant English +fashion, I am glad you came so promptly for my housekeeper has gone on +her vacation and we shall have the better chance to get acquainted." + +"Oh, thank you," said Lilian warmly. + +They followed her up the stairs where a cross hall led to a wing. The +room was large with two single beds, the windows in white drapery, a +capacious bureau, a dressing table, a washing stand in a recess, a +writing desk and some book shelves. It looked so cozy and inviting. + +"I will send up the tea, and I think your mother had better take a rest. +If you like to come down you will find me in the hall." + +"Thank you," she replied. "I shall be glad to come." + +She took her mother's bonnet and wrap and placed her in the rocking +chair. + +"Oh, isn't this a splendid closet? It's like another room. We are going +to be so happy here; I feel it in every pulse. Heaven bless Mrs. Searing +for finding us this shelter. Now drink this cup of tea. Thank you," to +the maid. + +It was reviving. + +Lilian brushed out her dress and smoothed her hair. Her coat had left +some wrinkles in her shirtwaist, but she stretched and patted them out. +Then when she had seen her mother comfortable on the bed, she came down. +Even the little freshening made her look bright and rosy and her eyes +were vivid with the light of pleasure. + +Mrs. Barrington had a bit of fancy work in her hands which were white +and shapely. She studied the young girl. It seemed to call up something +from the long past years that eluded and yet piqued her. How different +she was from the mother. + +"Have you always lived in that western town, Laconia, I believe it is, +and was it your mother's birthplace?" + +"Yes, I am quite sure. I was away once as a baby. Mother went to her +brother's after father died but did not like it, and Laconia is an ugly +manufacturing town of smoke and grime, but it is said to have a fine +High School. Of course there are some rich manufacturers." + +"How long were you in it?" + +"Two years, and I was fairly broken hearted at the thought of not +completing the course, but mother wasn't strong as she had been, +and"--yes, she would be bravely honest--"we were poor, mother's little +money was almost spent. Boys supported themselves while they are +studying, why shouldn't girls?" + +Oh, where had she seen just that proud uplifting look! It puzzled the +lady. + +"I am always pleased to help an ambitious girl along, and you have a +dignity which will be a great aid in teaching. Mrs. Searing said that +was your desire." + +"I love to study. I think I shall love to teach, and sometime I hope to +go to college." + +"I think you will work your way there. What branches were you in?" + +Lilian was very frank. She showed that she was a thorough student. +History was one of her delights. Latin was the only language admitted +until the third year, and in mathematics she seemed well grounded. + +"I want some one to take charge of a few of the younger classes and be +of service in the study hour from eight to nine. I think you will fit in +admirably, but do you think your mother is quite strong enough?"--and +she paused. + +"Oh, she is used to sewing of all kinds. She is very tired now and I +think she has been worried all the time lest something should go wrong +with this nice offer. You see sewing is not very profitable ordinarily +unless you can do high up dressmaking or are forewoman in some factory, +and I couldn't sew for a living. It is one thing over and over. You are +never learning anything new, broadening out, enjoying the wisdom of the +master minds, the beautiful poetry, the grand philosophies. Oh, am I a +very romantic or conceited girl?" and she paused with a bright flush. + +"You are meant for a scholar." + +Just that instant the trunk came and Lilian excused herself and went up +with it. Her mother was up and looked rested. + +"And please put on that black and white lawn, even if it is a little +crumpled, and my white batiste always shakes out. It is nice if it isn't +very fine." + +The bell sounded and they went down. The table was laid in the pretty +little tea room. Lilian ate and drank with a sensation of delight. The +china was so delicate, the table so beautifully arranged, the serving so +perfect. Often in reading a story Lilian had fancied herself the heroine +and enjoyed the feast. + +The child has much finer breeding than the mother, Mrs. Barrington +mused. She almost fancied she detected something furtive about Mrs. +Boyd. Was she being won by the girl's proud face to the detriment of the +mother? It seemed to her that Mrs. Boyd stood in awe of her daughter. + +Afterward they went to the parlor which was a fine large room splendidly +furnished, Lilian thought. There was a grand piano, an organ, two +beautiful marbles, vases and pictures. There was a wide hall that was +like another room. Here on the west side was the school and recitation +rooms, the girl's dining room and a commodious kitchen. + +"Will you go up stairs?" asked Mrs. Barrington. + +Lilian answered eagerly, Mrs. Boyd followed. + +Over this side were the dormitories and baths. Some rooms accommodated +two beds, others only one. They were neat and pleasant and had been +lately put in order. + +"I do not care for more than twenty boarding pupils," explained Mrs. +Barrington. "That makes a nice family with sufficient variety of +character. I am much interested in the development of girls, and the +town has nothing detrimental in it. We have a fine music hall where +there are concerts and lectures, occasionally a play, and a nice +library. The walks and drives about are beautiful." + +The hall was not so wide up here. There were two entrances to the family +side, the one to Mrs. Barrington's rooms which was divided by a short +hall from those of the assistants. Two of the teachers lived at the +school, though one of them had a room where she could be in touch with +the girls. + +When they reached her room Mrs. Boyd said-- + +"If you don't mind I will retire. I am so little used to long journeys +that this has fatigued me. No, Lilian you need not stay. I shall not +want anything. By morning I shall be rested," and she waved her away. + +"Are you quite sure?" asked the girl, "and you will not be lonely?" + +"Oh no, I shall enjoy the quiet." + +"Are you fond of music?" asked Mrs. Barrington. "Shall I play a little +for you?" + +"Oh, that would be delightful. I have heard very little that might be +called refined music." + +Then she knew the difference. + +She was charmed, though the hostess played mostly the simpler things. +She thought she could have listened all night. + +A night's rest refreshed Mrs. Boyd very much and the certainty that +Lilian had found a good friend. For she knew she could not stand the +struggle much longer. She was really worn out. + +Her duties were explained in a very kindly manner. There were the linen +closets at hand, the bedding that she was to deal out as it was needed, +the table napery. What she did for the girls was quite her own affairs. + +"And you must not allow them to impose on you. My rule is that all small +bills must be settled once a month. Most of the girls get their +allowance then. You will have considerable leisure for yourself. I hope +you will soon feel very much at home." + +As for Lilian she seemed in an enchanted land. Such stores of splendid +reading, such a magnificent out of doors! She and her mother were sent +out to drive, and the town was like the places she had read about in +books or the higher grade monthly papers. Then Mrs. Dane, the +housekeeper, returned and Miss Arran, who was a kind of secretary, took +her outing. + +Mrs. Dane was a tall, rather severe looking person. All disputes with +the servants and any discomforts in the rooms were under her +jurisdiction. Why it was like a little kingdom in itself. + +"Mrs. Boyd doesn't look very robust and seems rather timid, uncertain, +though if she is capable--" Mrs. Dane began rather sharply. + +"She has been seamstress to a dressmaker for several years. I fancy she +has had it pretty hard for the last year or two, but Miss Lilian is very +bright and energetic, only I am afraid she will hold her head rather too +high." + +"I fancy she will make an excellent teacher. That is her aim." + +Mrs. Barrington had looked through the big book of photographs of school +girls. Some turns of the head, some glances and a sound in the voice +still puzzled her, but it was connected with something in the past. Few +young girls made characteristic portraits. Ah, here was one who had just +that poise, that eager ambitious expression. A Miss Mortimer who +certainly possessed fine abilities, and a resonant voice. She had taken +the lead in school entertainments, and then she had joined a theatrical +troupe and married a third rate actor, to the lady's great +disappointment. + +"There is some likeness," she mused, "only the voice is much gentler, +more truly musical. It must be that is the elusive suggestion, and Miss +Boyd is wild over Shakespeare. It shall be my purpose to prevent her +from being an actress, unless she can stand in the front ranks." + +Lilian and Miss Arran became friends almost at once. Both were fond of +walking, and to Lilian the beautiful aspect of the town, the woods and +the picturesque river with its many windings and suggestive nooks where +she always found a new touch of beauty stirred her with a vivid and +intense delight. + +Then the real life began. Girls trouped in, trunks were set down with a +thump or oftener carried up on the third floor for unpacking. Girls in +the remnant of summer suits, for it was still warm, others in cloth or +serge, laughing chatting, running to and fro. How bright and merry it +all was! + +It took some time to get settled. The first grade girls who were to be +the next year graduates, if they chose, were at one table with Mrs. +Barrington and Madame Eustis, the French teacher; the other had Miss +Arran, Miss Davis, and the new scholars or the second grade old ones. +Lilian was at this table, though they could have their meals in their +own rooms. + +She felt very sorry for her neighbor, Alice Nevins, who was dreadfully +homesick and scarcely tasted anything, winking desperately to keep her +eyes from overflowing. Some of them looked very bright and jolly. + +"Girls," exclaimed Louie Howe, as a group gathered on the lawn, "there's +a new pupil teacher, and you know that's one of Mrs. Barrington's fads. +Last year's girl wasn't much of a success it seems. I think it's that +lanky girl in brown silk who looks half frightened out of her wits, and +her mother is the seamstress and caretaker. I wouldn't have put her in +brown silk with that dull brown hair and wretched complexion." + +"Thank fortune she isn't at our table!" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington wouldn't put such a looking object with us. She +really doesn't know enough to last over night. There are eight new +scholars, three with us come for finishing touches, five in the second +grade." + +"There's a girl I'd like to know with that splendid light hair, just +the least bit wavy. She sat opposite Miss Arran, and had a blue lawn +frock with the baby waist and lace yoke. She is fine looking; a little +too grave to be handsome, but her complexion is lovely. She's a princess +in disguise, I can tell by the way she holds her head. I shall throw +myself at her feet when I get a chance. It is a case of love at first +sight. There she is with that brown girl. I'd go over but I am afraid of +being snubbed. I do wonder who she can be, and there she's taking that +Elma Ransom under her wing. It will take the child five years to get up +to our first division." "That brown girl as you call her is a Miss +Nevins. Her parents have gone abroad, I've learned that much, and they +are well to do. That is the golden mean between comparative and great +wealth. Miss Vincent introduced her to me, and then she turned her to +that rather striking looking girl." + +"And which do you suppose is Miss Boyd? Or has she run back to mamma's +sheltering wing?" + +"I think she has discreetly retired. We must make some excuse to get in +to our lady of the needle. I'm sorry Miss Nevins isn't better looking +if she has plenty of money." + +"Well, the gods were just this time. She will need the money to illumine +her pathway. Just see that girl in the blue frock. Why, they are +thronging about her." + +Louie Howe went over and caught little Elma Ransome by the arms. She was +short and rather plump with an infantile face that made her look younger +than her years. + +"Why Elly, I'm glad to see you back. Now this year you must study hard +and fill up some of the vacancies we graduates make." Then she glanced +around the group. + +Elma flushed and then said a little awkwardly--"This is Miss Boyd, and +this Miss Nevins, and--I don't know all the names yet." + +"You have more new scholars than we." Then she made a stiff little bow +and turned away to her own group. + +"Girls, what _do_ you think? Why, I nearly fainted with surprise. 'Looks +_is_ often deceiving.' That girl I thought a princess in disguise is +Miss Boyd. Why she has airs and graces enough to amaze you. If her +mother is like that, will we ever dare to ask her to darn our +stockings?" + +"Miss Boyd!" exclaimed a chorus of voices. + +"Well, it's good we have learned the fact at once so we shall not make +any blunders. She'll be a sort of charity scholar working for her board +and training. Of course we shan't have anything to do with her as she +isn't in our set. Though it wouldn't be so bad but for the mother." + +"That's real snobbish, Louie," said a girl. + +"Well, I don't know, you have a right to choose your friends, and I +heard Mrs. Dane say something about their being very poor." + +"Well, she's stylish and she has an air, and Mrs. Barrington wouldn't +take in any one objectionable. If my father should die I might be glad +to have some one take me in, and I expect to teach when I am through. +You see father has four more to educate." + +"Well, Mattie Vincent, you can make a bosom friend of her for all that I +care." + +"Oh girls, don't let's quarrel about her when we have just come and are +glad to see each other. I dare say Miss Boyd wont trouble us." + +"She'll be pushing, and aspiring to the best--you'll see! One can tell +by the way she holds her head, and she _could_ stare you out of +countenance with those bold black eyes. I shall keep on my guard. You'll +see me take her down if she presumes." + +But Lilian Boyd did not presume. She went to church with her mother on +Sunday in a simple white pique frock, and spent the evening on the back +porch with Miss Arran, not even going in the parlor for the singing, and +on Monday school duties began. The classes received considerable +accessions from the day scholars. Lilian had two of the younger classes +and she found a real pleasure in the teaching. Then she was in the Latin +class and proved herself an excellent scholar. + +The evening hour was sometimes rather trying. Some of the girls asked +foolish questions just to perplex her. Occasionally she suggested they +should ask Miss Davis. The younger ones were quite tractable, though now +and then a spirit of fun broke out, set a-foot generally by the larger +girls. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FOOD FOR CONSIDERATION + + +Lilian Boyd did not want to cross the line of division that was acutely +felt and yet so nicely projected that a faint move on her part would +bring about a rebuff. She had the youthful longing for girlish +friendships, for little confidences about books they liked, about aims +and the future. Some of the pupils were so attractive; and it was +because she was the caretaker's daughter; she saw it when they came in +to her mother with any errand, when they passed her in the halls with a +supercilious nod. + +But then, why need she care? They would go their way presently and she +might remain. She knew she had won Mrs. Barrington's favor. That lady +made it a point of her joining the Sunday evening singing and she found +that she had a good, flexible voice. + +One lovely October afternoon she thought she would walk down to the +river whose banks were now a blaze of color. Some one called and she +turned. It was Alice Nevins who _was_ sometimes tiresome. The girls were +going down in town and one of them had really asked her if she would not +like to join them. A gratified light shone in her eyes for a moment. +There was something in the other's face that gave her a quick warning. +There was some plot underneath. + +"Thank you very much but I cannot go this afternoon. I hope you will all +have a nice time." + +Then she went to her room. Her mother was folding up some sewing. "There +is so little to do," and she smiled vaguely. + +"Come out and walk with me." + +"No, I don't feel equal to it, I will put a shawl about me and sit on +the porch." + +"Shall I come and read to you?" + +"No, dear, it is an effort to listen. I'll just sit and think." + +"Mother, are you satisfied here?" + +"Oh, my child, I could not have dreamed of anything so comfortable, and +for your sake--you are happy?" with a touch of wistfulness. + +"Oh, it is so delightful, and then to think that I shall fit myself for +a nice position presently. Then mother dear we will have a few rooms and +a real home again." + +"Oh, you are so good," in a tremulous tone. + +Lilian kissed her. She wondered why her mother's eyes rested on her at +times with that unfathomable look and the lips would move, then +suddenly compress. + +So she walked down past the summer house where the Virginia creeper was +flaunting long scarlet branches in the wind. + +"Oh, Miss Boyd!" + +She turned. Alice Nevins ran out. Her face was red and swollen with +weeping. + +"Oh, what is the matter?" + +"Let me come with you? Oh, I'm so homesick, and I just hate some of the +girls. They laugh when I blunder. I don't know things. I just hate +school! Papa _would_ send me here. Mamma begged to take me abroad. I'm +sure I could have learned a great many things. People say travel is an +education. I hate to study books. Do you really love it?" + +"Yes, very much, and for all it brings to you. Were you never at school +before?" + +"Only a little. Then I had a governess. You see, I was growing fast and +mamma thought I oughtn't study. She wasn't very well and papa wanted to +take her somewhere in Italy, and he sent me here, and some of the girls +_do_ make fun of me. Can't you _feel_ it when they are laughing at you?" + +Lilian flushed. "I try to think of something else. They are not really +worth minding." + +"I know I'm not pretty. Oh, I wish I were! And you have such a lovely +complexion. How is it made up?" + +"Made up? What do you mean?" + +"One of the girls said it was, and that sometimes you painted." + +Lilian was angry then. + +"My paint and powder are soap and water," she returned, indignantly. "It +is a shame for a young girl to do such things." + +"But you _are_ pretty. Must your mother be the caretaker here? What does +she have to do?" + +"She looks after the sewing and the mending. Yes, because we are poor, +we both have to earn our living. Some day I mean to teach and take care +of her." + +"Where is your father?" + +"Oh, he died when I was a baby." + +"Well--I'm awful sorry. Do you like that Phillipa Rosewald?" + +"I don't know much about her." + +"She makes fun of so many things, and she tells you words that sound +wrong when you pronounce them. I said something yesterday and the girls +giggled and Miss Davis thought I did it purposely and I was marked +down." + +"It was a very mean thing," Lilian's cheek glowed with indignation. + +"Then Miss Rosewald tells such funny stories. Four or five of the girls +just hang together and they think they are everything. But I guess +father is as rich as any of their fathers. Only I wish I was real +handsome." + +"Oh, my dear, I would think of my studies instead. Now let us talk them +over. What is it that bothers you most?" + +"Oh, everything." + +"But you _must_ study. Now, won't you try this evening. I'll help you +all I can." + +"Oh, I wish I was with mamma. I shall just tell her that I hate school. +What's the use of so much education anyhow? Girls get married." + +Lilian felt that Mrs. Nevins was a very poor mother not to have taught +her daughter a little common sense. Then she asked how old Alice was. + +"I was fifteen last May." + +"And I will be sixteen in June. I wasn't quite fourteen when I was +promoted to the High School, where I spent two years." + +"Oh, but I'm not going to teach or anything. Mamma said she would be +sure to send for me next vacation, but that is almost nine dreary +months away," with a profound sigh. + +"And you ought to learn a good deal in that time, so that you will not +be classed with the ignorant and conceited girls who think their money +will cover everything. There are so many young people going abroad +nowadays, college girls who have all the nice points of travel by +heart?" + +"Oh, dear, I just can't study!" desperately. + +"Oh, try. Now this evening I will help you. You see," smiling, "very +little knowledge comes natural. It is true some acquire easier than +others, but it is the continued effort after all." + +"Oh, dear, I wish you had been my sister. Papa is always bemoaning that +there are not more of us, but mamma says if there were I would have to +go without many things. I've some lovely jewelry but papa would put it +in the safe deposit, and he went and bought this cheap little watch for +school. My nice one cost one hundred dollars. It's a real beauty, and +mamma has lots of diamonds. I have two, they were birthday rings. Don't +they have parties here when you dress up? I brought my pretty white +silk, and I have a pink one with lots of lace, and my fur coat will be +sent to me, it is being altered a little. It's real seal, and mother has +such a lovely Russian sable. Oh, I do like pretty clothes, but Mrs. +Barrington made out a list that seemed very plain for a high-up +finishing school--don't you think so?" + +"I have not seen it. Most girls come to study and fit themselves for the +station they are to occupy. Unless you are going in society I think +there is little need of very fine clothes. Now let us talk a little +about your studies. Miss Davis feels quite concerned about you." + +Miss Nevins pouted a little. Lilian felt her nice walk was spoiled so +she turned her attention to the ignorant girl who "just hated study." +What a foolish mother she must have, while it seemed that her father was +far more sensible. + +Mrs. Barrington stood on the porch as they returned. She detained Lilian +with a wave of the hand. When Miss Nevins was out of hearing she said in +an approving tone-- + +"I am glad to see you take an interest in that poor child. Miss Davis +thinks her lamentably ignorant. I am really sorry I accepted her, but +her father wrote such urgent, sensible letters. Her mother must be a +very foolish body and the girl is extremely backward. It is asking a +good deal of you to take a little pains with her, but I see that you +have an attractive way with you. You will make an excellent teacher, and +I hope to keep you a long while." + +"Oh, thank you, I will try to do my best," Lilian returned, delighted +with the praise. + +Miss Arran always came in the study room, generally bringing a bit of +embroidery for it was not expected that Miss Boyd should attend to the +upper division with some girls older than herself. The other class were +quite at the lower end of the room, ranged around the table. Miss Boyd +seated herself next to Miss Nevins and patiently explained, but it was +very hard to keep the girl's attention to the subject in hand. She +thought she had never seen any one so utterly indifferent and with so +little ambition. There had been stolid, slow-witted girls among the +operatives in Laconia in the grammar school, but they really desired to +learn. + +Miss Davis paused the next day to say-- + +"Miss Boyd your good training does begin to take effect. Miss Nevins had +such excellent recitations today that I was pleased beyond measure. You +are way up in Mrs. Barrington's good graces, I can tell you." + +Lilian flushed at the commendation. + +For the next hour the girls could have a social time in each others' +rooms or the library. There was a crowd of eager talkers with Miss +Rosewald. + +"Yes," she was saying. "I ran over the housekeeper just as she was +coming out of Rinsey's. Zay will be here by the 20th, and she's coming +right to school, for the Major and Mrs. Crawford are going to the +Mediterranean. The German doctors and the baths did wonders for her and +she can walk without crutches. A friend is to take them on his yacht and +they'll be home at Christmas, and there will be Vincent's graduation. +Dear me! I hope I can go up to West Point. They say the balls are +splendid. The Crawford house is to be all done over, and no doubt there +will be a big housewarming there." + +"Oh, it will be just delightful to have Zay back again. I suppose that's +the reason Miss White was put in with Buttons and that room fixed up so +nice. Mrs. Barrington has had word, of course. We just need her to round +out, I was going to say, the atmosphere. It's too studious. Those +Kirkland girls are going to college, dearly loved cousins, quite +sufficient for themselves, and there's that granery, yallery, Grosvenor +Gallery, one who writes poetry and is too lackadaisical for anything. +What we want is a rollicking, fun loving girl to start us." + +"And something's the matter with you, Phil. Have you been crossed in +love?" + +Phillipa Rosewald turned scarlet. "No," she answered, "it's two of them +and I can't decide. One is rich and homely as a hedge fence and always +says 'drawring' and 'reel,' but has lots of money and a fair enough +family back of him. The other is handsome and oh, my! gay as a lark, but +he had about run through with a fortune, and I'm afraid he will flirt +now that the restraint of my serious and imposing presence is removed." + +"Serious, that's good. Why didn't you say severe?" + +Phil's love affairs were the entertainment of her coterie. + +"Oh, girls, did you notice--well, I have a new name for them. 'Beauty +and the Beast.' How devoted they were this evening!" broke in Louie +Howe. + +"Oh, you mean that Nevins girl? But _do_ you call Miss Boyd handsome?" + +"Well--she has a fine complexion--" + +Louie wrinkled up her nose. + +--"and lots of beautiful hair, a good figure and regular features. Maybe +she lacks a certain style to make her noticeable--or something--" + +"Money and position. I don't just see why a common sort of girl who has +to earn her living should be above the average, and that Nevins girl's +father is one of the firm of bankers in New York and London, and she's +horrid!" + +"Oh, girls," exclaimed May Gedney, "they kissed each other last night in +the hall, a regular smack; I heard it. Fancy that pimply cheek being +pressed against yours! and that lap-over tooth that sticks her lips out, +and those pale gray-green eyes. Yes, Miss Boyd does look handsome by +contrast." + +There was a great giggle. "We must watch the course of this ardent love. +Perhaps _she_ understands the worth of contrast." + +They went back to Zay Crawford, who was a general favorite. She and a +brother nine years older than herself, a passed midshipman had gone to +Germany in the summer, where her mother had been taking treatment. The +Major had accompanied her. Miss Crawford had taken over the young +people. + +It was true, to Lilian's surprise, that Alice Nevins had clasped both +arms around her and kissed her rapturously, exclaiming--"You are so +sweet! Oh, I wish mother and father would adopt you! I'd just like to +have you for a sister. I've never seen a girl before that I wanted." + +Lilian freed herself and went to her room. She was not an effusive girl. +At Laconia she had made some friends, but she was too proud to aspire to +the higher ranks or accept overtures from them. She felt _sorry_ for +Alice Nevins but there was no real companionship. Yet was there not a +duty? She seemed to occupy a peculiar position, and loved to listen to +the fascinating bits of talk, places one and another had seen, music, +operas, paintings, lectures, a knowledge of real things, not merely +those gleamed from books. + +Well, she must earn them herself. She used to dream of them at nights +when the lights were put out. She was changing curiously, she felt it +herself. It was not only in the added self-reliance, the nameless little +ways of refinement and grace the intuitive knowledge of what we call +good breeding, and the cordial smile of commendation from Mrs. +Barrington thrilled every pulse. + +Mrs. Boyd was not vulgar but she was undeniably commonplace. High +thoughts such as stirred Lilian in verse, never roused her. Yet the girl +did feel indignant at times at the manner in which some of the girls +addressed her mother when they were uniformly polite to Miss Arran. + +She was quite undecided about her duty to Miss Nevins. The kiss had come +so suddenly she had no time to evade it but she took good care to do so +the next night. Lilian had never been an effusive girl. She had almost +broken her mother's heart in her little more than babyhood, when after a +rapturous caress she had half pulled from the enclosing arms and said in +a willful fashion--"Don't kiss me so hard, I don't liked to be kissed!" +And later on when her mother had always called her Lily, she had said +emphatically--"Why don't you call me Lilian! I'm too big a girl to be +called by such a baby name as Lily and I don't like it." + +That began a sort of gulf between them that the mother never had the +courage to bridge over. There was a curious dignity about her that even +the obtuse Miss Nevins could not surmount. + +One day the girl brought her two beautiful orchids. + +"You've been so good about my lessons that I wanted to do something, and +these were"--hesitatingly-- + +"Handsome and expensive," in a chilling tone. "They were the finest +things the florist had, and mamma always sends me some money in her +letters, while papa sends my allowance to Mrs. Barrington. So I feel +that is clear gain," laughing. "Mrs. Barrington is rather strict about +allowances, and she's shut down on so much sweets and hot chocolates. Do +you think it hurts one's complexion?" + +"It certainly hurts yours. I would give them up, and so much cake; the +regular school living is good enough, and you should take a cold bath in +the morning." + +"Ouch! That would be horrid," and the girl shuddered. + +"But you want to be beautiful!" + +"Oh, I am afraid that wouldn't make me beautiful, and when I am quite +grown up I shall have lovely clothes, and it doesn't so much matter when +you are rich." + +Lilian glanced at her with a sort of pity that any girl could be so +silly, and a sense of disgust, also. + +"Miss Nevins, I must say one thing that I want you to observe for the +future. You must not make me costly gifts nor any kind of gifts. The +help I am giving you Mrs. Barrington wishes me to give to any girl who +needs it. It is simply my duty, you see, and Mrs. Barrington repays me." + +Miss Nevins looked as if she could not understand. Then she struck a +rather tragic pose. + +"Oh, if you would only love me!" she cried, clasping her hands together. +"I am so lonely! I miss mamma every hour. Then I think I could learn to +like it here, and I'd try to study. I'd give up cream soda and--yes, I +_would_ take the bath, but it must be warm." + +"Oh, you foolish thing!" Lilian laughed in spite of herself. "There, I +cannot stay here talking, and you must go to your lessons." + +"No, I'll get some other girl and go down town. You are cold and cruel." + +She was rather sullen all the evening and failed in some recitations the +next day. After that she studied with a better grace. + +"Miss Arran," Lilian said on Sunday morning, "do you think I might take +mother to that little Chapel in Chester street. I think she would feel +more at home there." + +"Oh, certainly. Mrs. Barrington insists that the girls shall attend at +least one service a Sunday. Then there is the Bible Class here, which +she makes very interesting. She and many of the girls go to Trinity, but +I like the Chapel a good deal myself. It is a Methodist, you know." + +"Yes, mother was used to that service." + +So they went together, though Louie Howe said--"We'll manage it so +Beauty and the Beast will walk together," but she missed her plan. + +It was a very simple and sweet service and the sermon was on hidden +sins. Lilian wondered if hers was undue pride, the desire to rise above +her station? She glanced at her mother. The tears were coursing silently +down her sunken cheeks. Was she missing the love a daughter ought to +give? She looked so frail and delicate that the girl's heart went out to +her as it never had before. + +In the vestibule stood a sweet faced young woman waiting while an +elderly lady was talking to her friend. She came near and held out her +hand in a friendly manner. + +"You are a stranger here, but we are very glad to welcome you," she +began cordially. + +"You are one of the Seminary young ladies, I saw you on the porch one +day when I was passing." + +"Yes," Lilian returned, then added "in a way. And this is my mother, +Mrs. Boyd." + +"And I am Miss Trenham. This is my mother." The two ladies shook hands +in an old-fashioned manner. + +"Do you go up Elm Place? Then let us walk together. Is this your first +year here?" + +"Yes," answered Lilian. + +"I hope you liked our clergyman and will come again." + +"I think mother will feel more at home." + +Miss Trenham smiled. + +"I come here largely for my mother's sake. I think the simple service +comes nearer the heart of the older people. I like Trinity church, I +like the service of the whole year round, and the music is fine. I like +coming in the house of God with a reverent hymn. You are one of the +newer scholars, are you not?" + +"Yes, we came in August. My mother has a position in the household." She +would not sail under false colors. "And I am to study for a teacher." + +"Oh, then we'll have a mutual bond. I am a teacher in the Franklin +School." + +"Oh, I know where that is," with a smile. + +"You like your own school?" + +"Oh, it is delightful, and such a beautiful home. Such a lovely town--" + +Her face was radiant with pleasure. Then they paused. + +"We go on a few blocks further. We live in Gray street. I am very glad +to have met you. Shall I see you again next Sunday morning?" + +"Oh, yes," promised Lilian. + +Then she took her mother's arm. + +"Did you like it mother dear? I thought the service very simple and +sweet." + +"And the lady was so friendly. I told her we were at the Seminary. The +daughter teaches school, and she asked me to visit them--to come to tea +some day. Do you suppose Mrs. Barrington would object? Would you like to +go?" timidly. + +"Why it would be very pleasant." + +"Everybody seems so grand, I'm glad not to go to the high-up tables; I'm +so afraid of mistakes. You see when people get along in life it isn't +so easy to take up new ways. But that Mrs. Trenham seemed like some of +the Laconia folks." + +"Yes, we will go again next Sunday," said Lilian. "And to tea the first +time we are invited." + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE GRACE OF ENDEAVOR + + +The door of Mrs. Boyd's room stood partly open. Louie Howe gave a light +tap and marched in with an air that was rather insolent. + +"Oh, Mrs. Boyd, I've given my walking dress such an awful tear! Mrs. +Barrington said she was quite sure you could mend it. You see I'm going +to a sort of musicale in about an hour and I couldn't take it to the +tailors. It's my best suit, too, and--it must be done very neatly." + +Mrs. Boyd examined it. "Yes, it's pretty bad, I've done worse though, +and part of it will be under the plait. Let me see if I have the right +color." + +She opened a box of spools and took up several colors to match. + +"Oh, yes, here is one," and she gave a smile of gratification. + +Louie dropped into a chair. Was she going to wait? Lilian wondered. + +"What a pleasant room this is, Mrs. Boyd! But all the rooms are just +cozy and nice. Of course Mrs. Barrington can afford to keep it in a +lovely fashion for her prices are high and she doesn't care to take any +scholars only from the best families. I do wonder how that Nevins girl +slipped in? Her father is a first-class banker, I have understood. They +have a big house in New York and a summer house at Elberon, and their +New York house is rented out for seven thousand dollars; but isn't she a +terror? How do you stand her, Miss Boyd?" + +"She has had very little training. Her mother has been ill and seems +very indulgent," answered Lilian quietly. "Yet she may make a very fair +scholar." + +"It's funny to hear her talk. Bragging, we call it. Do you suppose the +stories are true?" + +"Mrs. Barrington would know," was the cautious reply. + +"Well, I suppose she must be satisfactory or she wouldn't be here. But +there's common blood back of her somewhere. Money doesn't give you the +prestige of good birth. That always shows--don't you think so?" with a +confident upward glance. + +"I have not had experience enough with the world to judge," answered +Lilian. "We lived in a factory town--" + +"And in such places there are a good many newly rich, and they think +they have it all." + +Mrs. Boyd had been straightening out the rent and basting it on a piece +of stiff paper. + +"I wonder if you would mind asking Mrs. Dane if there were irons on the +range." + +She looked straight at Louie, not at all as if she was asking a favor. +Lilian was on her knees straightening and dusting the lower shelf of the +book case. She did not even turn her head. + +Miss Howe went out with what she thought was a stately step and frowned +at the girl on the floor whose business was to wait on her mother. When +she was clear out of sight and hearing Lilian sprang up and clasped her +arms about her mother. + +"Oh, that was just splendid!" she cried, her eyes soft and shining. + +"I--I think I meant--either of you!" hesitating. + +"It was her business and it won't hurt her to wait on herself. The girls +go down to the kitchen and iron out ribbons and things. I'm not their +maid, and she had no business to stand here gossipping about Miss +Nevins. I'm sorry for her and I don't like her, but there are some girls +that are real friendly. There are two girls going to college next year. +They have money, too, and they think a degree a great thing, and know +of girls who have taught awhile and then taken a year or two and taught +again. I was reading such a fine book--this girl and her mother took a +cottage and boarded the overflow of girls and had a lovely time, she +helping and studying. That's what we will try to do, and this year you +will get real well and strong. Oh, isn't it nice not to have any care of +things and so much comfort?" + +The mother bent over her work turning her head aside so that a tear +shouldn't fall on it. Oh, wouldn't the child be better off without her? +She was so courageous, so fertile in expedients. Oh, they could not be +all day dreams. + +The skirt was beautifully darned and pressed and sent to Miss Howe's +room by the maid. Then a note came to Mrs. Boyd. "Wouldn't she and Miss +Lilian walk home with the Trenhams from church tomorrow morning and dine +and meet a delightful young friend who had graduated at a Woman's +College. Lilian might like to hear the experiences." + +"Oh, that will be just royal!" the girl exclaimed. "Mother you must rest +this afternoon. If there is any mending let me do it." + +"Nothing is needed. Sometimes I feel as if I did not really earn my +salary, and Mrs. Barrington is so kind." + +"And now I begin to feel quite at home with some of the young ladies. I +_am_ proud of being a good scholar, but I study with all my might and +main," laughing. "And next year I may earn a little money." + +Sunday was bright but rather blowy. The leaves fell and whirled about +like flocks of birds and the sky was like a June day. Miss Benson had +come to church, a bright rather pretty woman of five or six and twenty. +Her voice was attractive. Lilian had come to remark the differences in +voices. Some did repel you; many were indecisive. + +They walked down to Elm place. This was the old end of the street in a +row of small detached houses with gardens running back to the next +street and a space of six feet or so between. The Trenham's was in very +nice tidy order, the windows with neat white drapery. + +"Our next door neighbors are considered quite a detriment," explained +Edith Trenham. "The woman professes to be a clairvoyant, and there are +five children, two very unruly boys. I do hope they will go away in the +spring." + +Edith ushered her guests into the pretty parlor where the cheerful fire +seemed to radiate pleasure as well as heat. In a small wheeling chair +sat the invalid, a pale little girl of fifteen, but who looked years +younger. She held out her hand to Lilian. + +"Oh, what pleasure it is to see you," she cried. "Your color is +radiant--like a June rose, isn't it mamma? and such beautiful hair. +Edith is always well but she hasn't much color. Oh, if you could have +seen our roses in June! They were bewildering. Don't you feel that +gorgeous things sometimes are? Then the next door boys came over and +stole the roses and broke the bushes. I cried nearly all day. It seemed +as if I had been pulled to pieces. The mother said she was sorry but +that wouldn't put the roses back." + +"Claire you will find is quite a spoiled child," Edith said, stooping to +kiss her. She was very pale and the dark hair framing in the little face +gave her an almost uncanny look. + +When they had laid aside their wraps Claire took possession of Lilian +again, and wanted to know about the girls in the Seminary. + +"Why, Claire, they are most all young ladies," said Edith. + +"Well--are there many pretty ones? and what do they do beside study? +They would get tired studying all the time." + +Lilian explained that they visited in each others rooms and had +calisthenics and danced, and went through some beautiful evolutions with +Indian clubs-- + +"Oh, how funny!" Claire interrupted. "Do they make believe they are +Indians?" + +"Oh, no," and Lilian explained. They had a bell double quartette and +made lovely music by striking some sweet-toned bells with small wands, +and they were allowed to go down town. One evening a week there were +dances. + +"Oh, do you dance? You look that way?" + +Lilian colored. "You see I spend a good deal of my time with my mother. +Then I have lessons to learn--" + +"And I don't study, I read delightful books. For you must know I can +never get about or do things like other children. I draw and I paint +over pictures, and I have an autoharp, and a beautiful big doll that I +make believe is alive and we go traveling. Edith reads about journeys." + +Mrs. Trenham had been adding a few last touches to the table which had +been mostly prepared in the morning, the real cooking having been done +the day before. Claire was lifted out in a cushioned chair and insisted +that Lilian should sit next. Miss Benson was on the other side and took +a turn with Lilian. + +"Yes, she had worked her way through college. She had studied +type-writing and done work for the professors and copied essays for the +girls and coached backward girls, and trimmed hats, as she had a genius +for millinery. Then, in vacation she had been a sort of summer governess +when parents wanted to take journeys. It had all been very interesting, +too, but it had taken longer, and now she was studying medicine in New +York and teaching some hours a day." + +"I like to teach but I don't believe I want to be a doctor, I think I +should like to go to college." + +"It is a fine discipline and broadens out one's mind. It makes excellent +teachers, as well, and you do have many happy times. Think of a +settlement of hundreds of girls!" + +"Mrs. Barrington will only have twenty boarders and there are about +twenty day scholars." + +"Not a very large family to be sure, but enough to give you some +variety. You look as if you might be a good student." + +Lilian colored. + +Mrs. Trenham was entertaining the mother. + +She had been a widow twelve years, but was left with a small competency. +Claire had been thrown out of a carriage by a runaway horse when she was +barely five and very seriously injured so that for two years she was +entirely helpless and now held her life on a very frail tenure, but she +was a happy child and they made her life as entertaining as possible. + +"You are blest in your daughter," said Mrs. Trenham. "She is so bright +and eager and vigorous, and has so much character. Well, I have Edith +who has always been a great comfort, and I suppose one gets used to a +burden when it is a pleasant one. Claire is very loving and we try to +keep all sad things from her." + +Lilian thought it a delightful afternoon. These were the kind of people +you could get close to. She saw that her mother was enjoying it as well. +Wasn't it rather monotonous for her at Mrs. Barrington's? At Laconia +there had been neighbors dropping in, some who had known her early life +and sympathized with her misfortunes, and here, no one. She was glad to +have been taken in this kindly family. + +"Oh, won't you come often?" pleaded Claire. "I like you so much, and if +you could come some Saturday mamma and Edith might go out together. An +old lady does come in when they go to church, but she isn't any real +company. She hasn't any ideas. Don't you think old people get sort of +stupid?" Lilian laughed. + +Miss Benson expressed a good deal of pleasure at meeting such an +ambitious girl and hoped to keep in touch with her for sometime; she +might be able to counsel her or perhaps direct her on her way. + +"It has been just delightful," she said when they reached their own +rooms. + +She did not go in to sing but read to her mother. Yes, she would try in +the future to share more of her life with the colorless one. She had +resolved to make the great sacrifice when she found she could not go on +with school, and lo, this had been the outcome. They were delightfully +sheltered, there were no hardships, only pin pricks and she would be +silly to mind those. There was a sudden commotion through the place on +Monday morning. Such glad bursts of welcome, such joyous laughter and +absolute peans of delight. + +For Zaidee Crawford had come. She, Lilian, was not in it and she +wondered if at any time or in any place there would be such unalloyed +gladness at her coming. + +A girl of fifteen, bewilderingly pretty in the changes that passed over +her mobile face. A complexion that was pink and pearl, golden hair that +was a mass of waves and shining rings that seemed to ray off sunshine +with every movement of the head that had a bird-like poise; a low broad +Clytie brow and eyes that were the loveliest violet color, sometimes +blue, sometimes the tenderest, most appealing gray. Her smile was +captivating, disarming. It played about her lips that shut with dimples +in the corners, it quivered in her eyes and made the whole face radiant. + +Why Zaidee Crawford wasn't spoiled by the indulgence and adulation was +quite a mystery. She had been longed for before her birth--one brother +was seven the other nine years older. Major Crawford thought the tie +between father and daughter was one of the choicest of heaven's +blessings. He was proud of his sons whose straightforward, honorable +careers in the lines they had chosen, to his great satisfaction, gave +him profound happiness. Connected with Zaidee's birth had been the great +sorrow of their lives that had cost Mrs. Crawford years of excruciating +suffering and at first it seemed hopeless invalidism. In one of the +Indian skirmishes the Major had been severely wounded in the leg that +had left it lame and rather stiff. He resigned from the army to devote +himself to his wife and the old residence that had been in his family +for generations. And at this period a relative died and left him a large +fortune. Beyond improving his estate and having the best medical +attendance for his wife there was no real change in their living. They +were both too sensible not to know how easily boys might be led astray +by unwise indulgence in money. They were both high minded with a fine +sense of right and justice. Both had gone down the dark valley and +looked death in the face and thereafter walked humbly before God. + +Zaidee Crawford had been a day scholar except at intervals when her +mother had been taken away for medical treatment. Oddly enough, Mrs. +Crawford as a girl, had been educated by Mrs. Barrington, then a young +and childless widow, with an ardent desire for some useful aim in life, +and they had remained the warmest of friends. Mrs. Barrington's comfort +and faith had cheered many an hour of despondency. + +But the Major had once said--"Margaret, while you can endure the +suffering, always think that I would much rather have you as you are +than to have lost you in that terrible time, and God has spared us our +two fine sons and our sweet daughter." + +Yes, there was much joy still left to life. + +Zay went to her classes as a visitor this morning. There were many +smiles of welcome. After all, she had not fallen so far behind, but her +brother had been coaching her. There were four new scholars in the Latin +class. The Kirklands, Louie Howe, who had been promoted, and a Miss +Boyd, who roused a peculiar interest; but then her rendering in the +translation was exceedingly fine. + +"Who is that tall girl with the bronzy gold hair? And isn't she a fine +reader?" exclaimed Zaidee. + +They were in a little group of old friends. Louie Howe laughed. Phillipa +made a funny face. + +"Well?" and flushing a little she glanced up, inquiringly. + +"The caretaker's daughter. We are democratic this year," announced May +Gedney. + +"The caretaker--" + +"A Mrs. Boyd, a pale little nonentity, but she darns in the most elegant +fashion you ever saw. She had to bring her daughter you see, and the +daughter is to be a teacher--is a sort of charity scholar, looks after +the laggards in the evening, but she keeps her place pretty well. Of +course she lives over on that side," nodding her head. + +"See here," began Phillipa, "that girl has puzzled me with an elusive +resemblance to somebody, Zay, it really is you. Her hair and eyes are +darker, she's larger every way, she is not such a peerless maid--" + +"I shouldn't feel complimented by that! Oh the idea! A girl from--well +somewhere from the wild and woolly west--" + +Much as Phillipa Rosewald loved her friends and she confessed to adoring +Zaidee, she never stopped at a little fling. + +"The compliment, of course, is to Miss Boyd. She has a temper of her +own, you can catch a flash of it in her eyes, and I dare say her iron +rule is what makes her mother so meek. She pets up that Nevins girl who +is a--well they are called Beauty and the Beast. How she managed to +slip in here puzzles me." + +"That girl is my horrid familiar, my _bete noire_. She has the room next +to mine and you ought to see it. Miss Davis marked her down for +untidyness, and Mrs. Barrington put her on a diet, her complexion was so +horrid, but she manages to get a lot of sweets and chocolates. And the +way she dresses! A modiste in New York sends her clothes and told her +the color of one's frocks must match the hair or the eyes, and no one +could match those gray blue green eyes, so it has to be the hair." + +"I wouldn't want that dull brown hair. I don't suppose she ever brushes +it. At home the maid looked after her. The mother is traveling for her +health, and they are very rich." + +"Oh, is she making a confidante of you, too?" laughed May Gedney. "I +thought it rather funny at first, I didn't believe half she said, but +her father is quite an important man in banking circles it seems, and +there are diamonds galore, but he wouldn't let her wear only that +diamond birthday ring at school. She was wildly in love with Miss Boyd +but the girl was too hard hearted to return it. She is a regular icicle +and stony hearted and all that! Yes, her heart is irretrievably gone +about the girl. They did have a kissing match one night but they don't +do it any more in public! I don't know what they do in private, but the +Boyd shut down on gifts which almost broke her heart, and she had spent +two dollars for two orchids." + +"That certainly speaks well for Miss Boyd," Zay exclaimed. + +May flushed. Lately _she_ had been the recipient of some gifts. + +"Of course she is here to train the younger minds in the paths of +knowledge while her mother mends their clothes." + +"Well, is that to be despised?" asked Zay with spirit. + +"Why, no, but of course you don't associate with your dressmaker's +daughter, nor the store clerks though they are nice enough for the +places they have to fill in life. If it wasn't for the mother she might +pass muster, and you know this is the most select of schools. That is +one reason mother sent me here there was no chance of making undesirable +acquaintances. For one thing, the terms are too high," and Louie Howe +bridled. + +"Is this Miss Nevins at the highwater mark?" and there was a touch of +sarcasm in Zay's tone. + +"Oh let's quit the higher criticism," said another. "I want to hear Zay +talk, and you've been to Berlin and that picturesque Dresden. Did you +see the shepherdesses with their crooks, and Corydon making love to +them, and Holland--that funny place of canals and windmills and stumpy +dutchmen." + +"And, oh, did you see the Kaiser?" + +Zay laughed. "Yes, mounted on a fine horse, and the Empress and her +pretty daughter in a state carriage. And Willard went to some sort of +review with the Ambassador and was presented to the Kaiser who asked him +about Annapolis, and some of the training. He thought the great Emperor +very affable. Father has been at a few of the functions and seen the +royal ladies in their state dresses. Then, there are some splendid +professors and scientists--" + +"But you didn't go to Paris?" + +"No. Father and Willard spent ten days there while Aunt Kate and I staid +with mother. Then she could cross the room without a cane, even. Now she +can walk some distance. Oh, girls, its splendid not to have her go on +crutches! And she thinks in two years or so we may go to Paris for quite +a stay. You know real young girls don't understand fine pictures and all +that! Willard begins his three-years cruise early in January, and in the +summer Vincent will graduate and perhaps be sent off somewhere. The +doctors wanted her to spend the whole winter about the Mediterranean, +but she thought it would be so lovely to have our Christmas together." + +"Oh, Zaidee Crawford, you're a girl to be envied! None but the rich, +etc.," with sundry upturnings of the chin. + +"Well, I hope I'll be able to go abroad on a wedding tour. Otherwise I +won't have him!" announced Phillipa with great solemnity at which they +all laughed. + +"Young ladies do you know it is time to go out for exercise," said Miss +Arran. + +"Oh, let us go over to Crawford House," cried Zay. "Why, you will hardly +know it. The two parlors are to be thrown into one--a regular drawing +room, and I'm to have the prettiest study off of my bedroom. I have to +decide what color I shall have them done in." + +"We'll all help you." + +"I just can't have blue and I like it so, but it is the one idea of +blondes, therefore I avoid it." + +"It seems Miss Boyd's favorite color," said Louie. "And she's not so +very blondy, either." + + + + +CHAPTER V + +ZAIDEE + + +They were the usual lot of girls in a sort of hubbub together. With the +exception of the Kirklands they were not taking life seriously as yet. +They studied and sang, painted, wrote verses, sometimes were caught on +trigonometry and occasionally made awful translations in Latin and +French. They changed their ideals, they vowed friendship and fell out +with each other, they were spiteful and willful and sweet and penitent, +and if "a boy's will's the wind's will," a young girl's will in the +unformed years is not much better. + +Phillipa Rosewald was a sort of leader. A kind of charming girl with +many varieties, fascinating, making you like her when she chose and then +giving you pin pricks instead of caresses. Before she put on long +dresses boys were quarrelling about her and she seemed to sandwich love +affairs in with her lessons; she had fine taste in dressing, she could +tie a bow, or trim a hat, or furbish up an evening waist in a manner +that filled her comrades with envy, and she was a fairly good scholar as +well. + +But Zaidee with her graciousness and sweet temper won all hearts. Every +one was eager to have some little claim upon her. Her mother's sad +accident and her father being one of the survivors of a fierce Indian +battle made her a sort of heroine. She was not quite an angel but very +human and with the peculiar sweetness that always disarms criticism. + +And although it was considered a rather aristocratic school there were +the usual feuds and bits of jealousy inseparable from a crowd of girls, +the days in the main passed delightfully, and now they were all +interested in the rehabilitation of Crawford House, the coming of the +young midshipman and the lovely mother who at last had an almost +miraculous restoration to health and strength. + +Crawford House was full of workmen. Aunt Kate was supervisor. Willard +was staying with his parents. + +The house stood on a little eminence and had two terraces that were a +mass of bloom in the summer. A broad portico ran on two sides and at the +end fronting the south there was an imposing tower, many windows. Back +of it was a flower garden, a vegetable garden, barns, carriage house and +a useful little green-house. + +"Dear, I hope the workmen will be through early in December," said Aunt +Kate. "Then there is all the furnishing. Only about six weeks. Does +school seem natural, Zay? Have the girls gone way ahead of you?" + +"I hardly know yet," was the laughing reply. "Mrs. Barrington hasn't +really set me at work." + +"Are there many new scholars?" + +"Not in our department, but it seems nice to be a school girl again and +not a globe trotter." + +"But you didn't go quite round the world." + +"I'm glad there's something left. Look girls, this is my room with the +southern and western exposure. I think I'll have it done in pale green +and pink, Aunt Kate. That will tone down the summer sunshine. Phil and I +have been discussing colors." + +"That will be pretty, and you can _stand_ green. It would turn some +complexions yellow," returned Aunt Kate. + +"How short the days are growing! And it gets dark so soon. Girls, we had +better hurry off home." + +"Shall I order samples of green, Zaidee?" + +"Yes, Aunt Kate, if you please." + +It was quite a treat to sit down at the table with a group of girls. +Madame Eustice talked to them in French and Zay surprised her with her +readiness and improved pronunciations. + +"And I am quite a proficient in German as far as talking goes, I've +heard so much of it, and it seemed so funny at first. Though a good many +of the servants and waiters speak a little English." + +Zay glanced down at the other table. She singled out Miss Nevins who had +quite a fancy hair dressing and a pink bow. But she saw no one she +thought Miss Boyd. Then there was a full hour to the study period. + +Lilian and her mother often took this meal which was only a kind of high +tea in their room. Mrs. Boyd could not overcome a half fear of Mrs. +Dane. Then she read to her mother until it was time to go to the study. +Often she left her mother asleep in the big easy chair. Oh, for some one +to listen and to respond! But the practice was good for her if no one +listened. + +Zay kept glancing furtively down at the table of the younger class. Yes, +there was Miss Boyd. She went toward a pupil, as a small hand was held +up. There was something interesting in the face, and the young student +would glance up and smile. Was there any resemblance, she wondered? The +hair was darker, but the complexion was certainly fine. Miss Nevins had +a peevish look tonight and said something rather cross. Miss Boyd +preserved her serenity. + +Lilian was having quite a delightful new interest in the Trenhams. Her +exercise hour led to a walk down there and an engaging half visionary +talk with Claire who had wonderful adventures with a pretty squirrel who +ran up and down a tree in range with her window. Or it was some belated +bird who had lost his way south and had to hide to keep out of the way +of the hunters. + +"Why do they let them go out and kill the poor birdies?" she asked +plaintively. "I should think it would be braver to go to Africa and +shoot lions and tigers and those cruel animals that eat up human beings, +and the dear pretty little squirrels!" + +"Why, indeed?" Lilian had often thought of it herself. + +Or it would be a story of a fairy who had a long search for a charmed +ring that would bestow a wonderful power over everything in the forest +and give the animals the gift of speech. Claire told one, Lilian must +take the next. + +"Edith comes home so tired sometimes. You are always fresh," the child +said. + +Then the girl would meet Edith who would turn about and walk with her +and listen to the hopes and ambitions and dreams she could tell to no +one else. So she had a comforting secret life. + +Zaidee Crawford made two or three slight advances, but they were +distantly received, and Zay was not used to being rebuffed. She was not +much of an analyst and thought Miss Boyd very cold natured. But now and +then the enthusiasm of the true student broke out in some class +recitation and it transfigured her. + +"Our pupil teacher quite distinguished herself today," said Phillipa +Rosewald, "though I must say it was in exceedingly bad taste." + +"Why bad taste?" asked Zay. "I thought it fine." + +"She might have been a little more modest. You see, my dear child, we +are not preparing for teachers nor to vulgarly distinguish ourselves. I +thought Miss Grayson did not quite like it. Are you really growing fond +of your double? But I can't imagine you standing up in that bold +fashion." + +Zay was silent. It always annoyed her to have Miss Boyd called her +double. The figure and manner was so different. Zay was so light and +airy, she seemed rather to skim over space than to walk, and every +motion was replete with grace, while Miss Boyd was stately, and when +critical eyes were upon her, sometimes seemed awkward. + +Miss Nevins certainly was improving. Thanks to Mrs. Barrington's regimen +her complexion had cleared up, she kept her hair in a tidier fashion. +May Gedney had insisted upon her wearing something beside the dismal +browns. + +"Send this to your dressmaker and have a green suit trimmed with bands +of gray fur--if it won't be too extravagant." + +"Oh, father will pay the bill. He hasn't much idea of what things cost." + +"See here--I know a lovely dressmaker in Livingston. I sometimes go +there. Mrs. Barrington would let us go over with Miss Davis, I am sure, +and as she keeps samples we could choose, and she could take your +measure. I don't believe it would cost half as much, and will be +prettier. Your clothes are too old." + +"Oh, you are an angel," and May had to submit to an embrace. + +Mrs. Barrington agreed. She gave Miss Nevins some money. + +"As they are going on your business you must pay their expenses," she +said. + +Miss Nevins felt really grand. This was a true friend. + +One evening she thrust a note in Lilian's hand. She had taken a seat on +the other side of the table. + +Lilian read it in her room. She smiled, yet she felt a little hurt after +all she had done for Alice. + +"I hope you won't feel bad because I changed my seat. Some of those +hateful girls called us Beauty and the Beast. I know I am not handsome, +but then rich people seldom are, and I don't think you are so very. I +have a new dear friend who really does care for me and is going to plan +about my clothes. Of course you don't know how the real style ought to +dress, and I don't think mamma would like me to be intimate with a girl +whose mother was caretaker here. It's such a pity she is, for if she +wasn't here you wouldn't need to say anything about it and would be more +respected. I hope you won't be mad.--Alice." + +"I won't be ashamed of her, poor dear mother," Lilian said resolutely. +But if she were like Mrs. Trenham, and the change would not be so very +great, she mused. + +Miss Nevins avoided her for the next few days. Lilian did not seem to +notice it. + +Mrs. Barrington called the girls together one evening. + +"Young ladies," she began, "I have a plan to lay before you. There have +always been some Hallowe'en plays and tricks that often seem both +childish and reprehensible. I am going to propose you lay aside all +these and instead let me give you a party with music, dancing and some +refreshments. I will invite the young gentlemen of the neighborhood, +many of whom you have met at church and elsewhere. What do you say?" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, that is utterly lovely." + +Phillipa Rosewald sprang up and clasped both hands. There was a bevy of +girls about her and they all talked at once. + +"Understand, there are to be no tricks played in each other's rooms. You +have been making very good progress so far this year and I am sincerely +pleased. As many of you will go away on Saturday there can be no +Christmas festivities, but this may be quite as pleasant." + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, it will be just delightful!" cried Phillipa with +enthusiasm. "Thank you a dozen times for thinking of it." + +"You have accepted some invitations from outside and it seems the thing +to return them. Every girl will be at her liberty to ask one guest and +there are several I wish to invite. I hope you will have a happy time." + +"Oh, we are sure of that." + +"And now I hope your scholarship will be excellent at the winter +examinations. It will be the last year for some of you and for your +parents' sake I hope you will stand high." + +The leisure of the next two days was spent working out lists. + +"Oh," declared May Gedney, "I'd like to invite at least four. Ally and +Archie Holmes, and the Pridhams. I suppose we can ask a young +gentleman?" + +"Let us make a list and divide up. Archie Holmes is such a delightful +dancer, and Allie is so full of fun, and so many of us were at her +birthday party." + +"Do you suppose the smaller fry will invite their friends?" + +"I think not, though they may be allowed to come in as spectators." + +"That Nevins girl is a pretty dancer. What lots of fancy things she +knows." + +"I don't imagine we will have any high flings," laughing. + +"Well, May, you ask Ally, and Nelly White ask Archie. That's the way we +must pair off, and divide up the Pridhams. We must only ask one girl in +a family. I'm afraid we won't have boys enough to go round." + +"Then some of the girls will have to play Knights as we do in the +practices." + +After much study they presented their list to Mrs. Barrington who +thought it very judicious. She said she had several gentlemen to add. + +Then there was a time about the frocks. Miss Nevins unpacked two party +gowns that had remained in her trunk when it was taken up stairs. A +pretty rather simple white cluna silk and a pink satin. + +"Oh, the satin is altogether too ornate, too really old," declared +Phillipa. + +"But it's so much prettier," longingly. + +"I don't know about that, and I can tell you Mrs. Barrington will hustle +it back in the box mighty quick. The party is for the older girls. You +will simply be allowed in to look and partake of the treat if you are +well behaved little girls." + +Miss Nevins pouted. + +Her new winter suit had come home and it was really admirable, making +her look like quite a different girl. + +"I don't see what that New York dressmaker can be thinking about. She +makes a regular guy of her. And since Mrs. Barrington shut down on so +much sweet stuff how her complexion has improved. But the morning baths +are a terror to her. She is sure she can keep clean on a wash once a +week." + +"And girls, every time her mother wrote she enclosed five dollars. She +didn't give any account of that for awhile, and Mrs. Barrington was +quite affronted when her mother advised her to go to a restaurant now +and then to get a good meal. I must say our living here is of the very +best." + +There was no dissenting voice. + +They were all in a gale about the party. There was always a lawn fete +when school closed in June at which the girls invited relatives and +friends. Hallowe'en had been devoted to tricks in each other's room, +sewing up sheets, sprinkling cayenne pepper and rice, and occasionally +putting a toad in the bed if one could be found, or an artificial one +would answer the purpose. Mrs. Barrington had made some appeals, but +this new plan was a decided success. The girls were gay and eager with +delight, and wonder who of the young men of the town would be asked. + +Mrs. Barrington called Lilian in her room and spoke of the party, giving +her a special invitation. + +"It is very kind of you," the girl answered, "and I hope you will not +think me ungrateful if I decline. I am not used to gayeties of this +kind, and"--with a smile--"I have no party dress." + +"That can easily be remedied. I really think you are making a mistake by +effacing yourself so readily on all occasions. You are becoming a fine +scholar and I am much interested in your welfare. Your hour in the study +room is not at all detrimental--" + +"There are other things. Oh, Mrs. Barrington let me keep to my own +sphere. I have always been poor, I have not been much among what are +called better class girls, but I do know they have better advantages and +are trained in pretty and attractive society ways. Public schools are +more on a level. I am not finding fault. My heart is full of gladness +for this lovely offer that came to my mother and me. Some of the young +ladies have been very kind. Believe me I am happy, but I should feel out +of place in a gay party." + +She looked really beautiful standing there, the bright flush coming and +going over her face, her mouth with its winsome curves, her eyes so full +of gratitude and candor. What was the elusive remembrance? + +"You shall do as you like in this matter," returned Mrs. Barrington. +"But at the beginning of the new term I propose to have matters on a +somewhat different footing. You will end by being my best scholar." + +"Oh, thank you a thousand times for taking so much interest in me. I +hope I shall be able to repay you." + +"My dear child some of the best things in the world are done without +pay. Appreciation is better and you have a great deal of that." + +The party was a great success. Several of the older graduates were asked +in. There was music, some conversational plays where quick wit was +necessary and in this Phillipa excelled. Then the dancing was charming +to the young crowd. They were very merry over the refreshments, then +dancing again. + +"It's been just delightful! I never had such a good time in my life. Oh, +Mrs. Barrington, how can we ever thank you," and a dozen other glad +acknowledgments. They were all tired enough to tumble into bed, with no +thought of tricks to disturb them. + +Miss Nevins admitted that she had a first class time. "Only I wish I had +been up in more dances. And if they'd had some fancy dances! I do love +them so!" + +"Hardly at such a party," said Phillipa, dryly. "And the maid of the +evening who did not come. Do you suppose she was asked?" inquired Louie +Howe. + +"Oh, she would have come quick enough if she'd had anything to wear," +subjoined Miss Gedney. "Well, I'm glad she didn't or wasn't. It would +have been rather embarrassing." + +"When I meet her abroad in the capacity of attendant to some charming +young lady I should not know her, of course." + +There was a laugh at that. + +Then began the mouth of real study though there were a few heart +burnings that Miss Boyd should come up to the best in some of the +classes. + +November was unusually beautiful and the week of Indian summer a dream +for a poet. Lilian's afternoon hour out of doors was the concentration +of delight. The handsome town, the picturesque houses, where late +blooming flowers were a delight on many a lawn, the peaceful winding +river whose shadows seemed to depict a fascinating underworld, the +rising ground beyond with its magnificent trees, its tangled nooks of +shrubbery with scarlet berries, so stirred Lilian's fine nature that she +felt as if she must burst into poesy. + +No, she would never give up the splendid, inspiriting dreams of youth. +Ambitious and noble natures are often haunted by romantic ideals and +glimpses of the future reaching up to unharmful standards that did seem +possible. These dreams were better than the feverish, vitiating novels +some of the girls poured over in private. + +She was making a warm friend of Edith Trenham, who was often puzzled by +her. How did she get this wonderful insight into such a beautiful world +full of possible endeavor. + +The simple prettiness of the Trenham home was very charming to her. This +was what she would make for her mother, only there would be a little +more. Portfolios of engravings, a vase from Japan, a curious Indian +ornament with ages back of it. Already Barrington House was shaping her +taste in many matters. + +Then it was a pleasure to talk to the imaginative Claire who reveled in +the Knights of Arthur's time, the tastes of Mythology which she twisted +about to suit her fancy. + +"I like Miss Lilian so much," she would say. "She has traveled in so +many countries. She knows all about Eskimo babies and little Chinese +girls who can't go anywhere because they have such crooked feet. And we +play at going to see them, and they give us such curious things to eat. +And there are real little Greek children, who lived in Bible times. Oh, +it's just lovely!" + +"You make Claire very happy," Edith would say in a fond tone. + +"I like to make her happy, and I want to make my mother happy. She has +had such a hard life." + +"You are a dear daughter." + +Was she being a dear daughter to her mother? Mrs. Boyd seemed to grow +more distant, more dreary and absent. Sometimes between classes she +would run in and take her mother's work, read to her evenings, but then +she always fell asleep; but the girl went on. It was more company to +read aloud. Just now she was deep in the making of Beautiful Florence. +Oh, would she ever get to know all the famous cities of the world? + +How the time sped on! There was one snow storm, not a very deep one, but +enough to call out the sleighs, and what a fairyland it made of Mount +Morris. Saturday all the girls chipped in and hired a big sleigh and a +laughing crew of ten had what they thought the merriest time of their +lives. + +Just as they were getting out Louie Howe caught her skirt on something +and there was a tear. + +"Oh, girls! My best Sunday skirt! And we--some of us are invited to Mrs. +Westlake's to dinner, and she goes away on Monday. Oh, I wonder if Mrs. +Boyd can mend it fit to be seen! I can't take it to the tailors now." + +"She darns beautifully." + +"Well, that's what she's here for; mender in general." + +"But it seems dreadful to ask her to do it in the evening, and the +daylight is almost gone." + +Louie hated to give up whatever her mind was set upon. She hurriedly +changed her frock and put on a light evening dress. With her skirt in +hand she crossed the hall. The door stood open. The house was always +warm. Mrs. Boyd sat in an easy chair. Helen on one of the fancy stools +under the gas burner with a book in her hand. Louie swept past her. + +"Oh, Mrs. Boyd. I want you to mend my skirt. I've given it a dreadful +tear. I can't take it to the tailors and four of us are invited out to +dinner after church, so I must have it." + +Mrs. Boyd rose and examined it. "It is a bad tear, but if you _must_ +have it--" + +"Yes, I surely must. O, I think you can do it. There's the whole +evening." + +Then she turned away. Lilian's temper flared up at white heat. + +"Oh, mother, why didn't you tell her you could not? She has other +dresses to wear. Let me take it back to her--" + +"No, dear, I'll do it. Light the lamp for me. Why you know that's part +of my business," and Mrs. Boyd gave a tremulous little laugh. + +"I think Mrs. Barrington would not have such a thing done on Saturday +night," was her resolute reply, but she lighted the lamp and brought her +mother's work table with its handy cabinet. + +"You see a good part of it will go under this plait. Oh Lilian, do not +mind such little things." + +The insolent manner had hurt the girl keenly. Louie was on the promotion +list and would graduate in June. She held her head very high. Her father +had promised her a handsome watch with a beautiful neck chain that could +be detached when required and she felt sure of it now. + +Mrs. Boyd basted the tear on a piece of cloth and began her work. + +"Lilian," she said, "will you go and see if there is an iron on the +range, and ask cook if I can come down by and by." + +Then she began her work. The underneath part at first, but somehow her +hand trembled. Lilian watched with an indignant, aching heart. After +awhile her mother leaned back with a sigh. + +"I believe I shall have to get glasses," she said wearily. "I cannot do +fine work in the evening. I am afraid I shall spoil it, and I've always +been such a neat worker." + +"Let me finish," said the girl. Every inch of her protested, but it was +for her mother's sake. Lately she had done several things to ease her. + +"Yes, let me," she went on, taking the work from her mother's hands. +"You know I can darn nicely." + +Lilian took infinite pains. It was slow work, but at last it was +accomplished. + +"You are such a dear, good daughter, and it is said booky people are +never anything with a needle, but you could get your living with it." + +Then she took her work down stairs and came back flushed and smiling. + +"Look, Lilian," in a tone of pride, "it hardly shows! Cook said she +never saw more beautiful darning and that in a big city I could make a +fortune at lace mending. Will you take it to Miss Howe?" + +"No, mother," and Lilian spoke in a dignified but not unkindly manner. +"We are not here to run and wait on the girl. Let Miss Howe come for +it." + +Mrs. Boyd felt disappointed. She wanted some one beside cook to praise +her handiwork. + +Louie fidgeted about her skirt. She and Zay were in Phil's room talking +over the coming Christmas and Mrs. Crawford's return. + +"I wonder why that girl doesn't bring my skirt. Maybe they've spoiled +it." + +"Have you sent a maid?" + +"Why no. I meant Miss Boyd. She oughtn't be above such things." + +"Still, she isn't here to run on errands. I think Mrs. Barrington treats +her quite as if she were a scholar, and she's a fine one, too." + +"Some day she'll brag of having been educated here, though Mount Morris +doesn't set out to furnish teachers, but the training of young ladies. +Mother likes it because there was no opportunity of making undesirable +acquaintances," and Louie gave her head a toss. + +"Is Miss Nevins so very desirable?" asked Zay with a flash of mirth in +her eye. + +"Still, if you met her abroad as a rich banker's daughter or heard of +her being presented to the Queen--" + +"Girls, don't quarrel about either one of them. Alice Nevins is a fool +and always will be. Lilian Boyd is smart and ambitious but there _is_ +the bar sinister. Her mother isn't the sort of person to come up in the +world and when Miss Lilian gets there she'll ship off her old mother, +put her in an Old Woman's Home. I despise that toss of her head, just as +if she was up to the highest mark already; but they are not worth +disputing about." + +Zaidee Crawford drew a long breath. She had almost courage enough to +stand up for her, then she remembered some one had said you were never +sure that some disgraceful thing might come out. Who knew anything about +her father? There was a good deal of pride of birth at Mount Morris as +is apt to be the case where well to do people have lived for a century +or so. + +Louie sent a maid for her skirt and admitted that a tailor couldn't have +done it better. + +"Only a week" the girls said with their good night to each other. + +Not that they were so tired of school, but Christmas was a joyous +occasion, and going home a treat. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +AN ESCAPADE AND WHAT CAME OF IT + + +The closing week of school was full of girlish excitements. Friday and +Saturday most of the girls would go home. Christmas came on the +following Monday. The Miss Kirklands were going to remain and devote the +time to study. Alice Nevins and Elma Ransome had no homes to go to at +present. Mrs. Barrington generally took this for a resting-up time. + +Louie rushed into Phillipa's room, breathless and eyes full of wonder. +There was some fancy things strewn around. Phil and Zaidee were at some +gifts. + +"What now? Has there been a mistake in the calendar and is Christmas put +off and are we to be aliens from the family bosom?" + +Louie laughed and fanned herself vigorously. + +"I've been hearing wonderful things about that Clairvoyant. Do you +really know what clairvoyance is? It isn't mere fortune telling. Madge +Hayne went the other day and she was told some really remarkable things. +They had not heard from that brother in a year and didn't know whether +he was dead or alive. She said they would hear from him and that he +would return soon with a fortune, and this very morning the letter came. +He's been in Alaska and British Columbia and goodness knows where all, +and he's tired of rambling and hardships. So he's coming home as he has +made his pile, which I suppose means a fortune. They are all just wild +with joy, and there are to be two marriages this year." + +"Then Madge's lover will get his promotion. That is what she is waiting +for," laughed Phil. "But I have heard that the woman told some wonderful +things." + +"And while we were abroad in the summer Aunt Kate and I took little +tours around; we were at a Fair in a small town where there were some +real Romany gypsies and one insisted on reading Aunt Kate's future. She +spoke of mamma's walking without crutches, which we couldn't believe and +said after we came home something mysterious would happen to us, that a +member of the family would come from a great distance, that the person +who had her in charge would die, but Aunt Kate laughed and said we had +had no mysterious marriages nor sudden disappearances, so that could +hardly come true." + +Phillipa had been considering. "Girls let's go," she exclaimed. "Mrs. +Barrington didn't actually forbid it. She said: 'Girls I hope none of +you will be foolish enough to spend your money on such nonsense. Those +people are generally impostors.' I'd like to have a peep into the +future. There's a young man I am interested in. Now, if he's all fair +and square and means business--" + +"You're always on the anxious seat of lovers," said Louie, "and you seem +to have them by dozens." + +"I want the very best and richest. Girls, my mother was married when she +was seventeen, and I'll be nineteen in June; but she didn't go to +boarding school for three years and waste her time." + +"And I want a tour abroad--a winter or summer in Paris--which is most +attractive, and there may be a little chance of some one leaving father +a fortune. Oh, let us go--just for the fun if nothing else," and Louie +glanced up in her radiant prettiness. + +There is something tempting to the young in a peep in the wide +mysterious future. Joys and the so-called good luck are delights to hope +for and it is seldom that any dark pages are unfolded to youth. So the +girls talked and agreed to go the next afternoon. + +Examinations were in the morning and the girls had the afternoon to +themselves. Four were going to a musicale, half a dozen to do some last +shopping. + +"We'll put on something out of the ordinary line," said Phil. "Hoods and +veils and I'll wear my old gray coat. Mother would make me bring it and +I've not had it on once. We'll trot across the park, shortest route, and +hold our heads down." + +"And then run round to Crawford House and have some hot chocolate," said +Zay. + +It was a winter when Tam o' Shanters were all the rage. Zay had a white +one with two fluffy rose-colored rosettes. As she passed through the +hall she saw Clara Arnold's blue one lying on the bed. She had always +tabooed blue. Now with a sudden impulse she put it on. Clara had gone to +the musicale and would not be home until late. Then she gathered up her +curls and stuffed them in the crown. Yes, she did suggest the Boyd girl. +The resemblance teased her, and the girls had found that out. She wound +a veil around her head and they stole through the hall when it was +deserted and went scuddering through the Park. + +It was a cloudy afternoon, not one to go out for pleasure, and then +everybody had wanted to go down town. Mrs. Trenham lived in the corner +house. There was a garden space between, then a high fence. Phillipa +rang the bell. + +A rather unkempt, middle-aged woman answered it. + +"Could we see the Clairvoyant?" + +"Well," hesitatingly. "All of you? I'm rather--yes, walk in." + +The room was untidy, the books on the table dusty, and some clothing +thrown over several chairs. + +"Young girls always want a peep in the future," and she gave an abrupt +laugh. "You don't any of you look as if you needed medical advice. My, I +seldom see such rosy, good looking girls. Now, I'll tell you--it's a +dollar if I go into a trance and see you inside, up and down and I can +tell to a T whether there's anything the matter. But I don't believe you +want that. S'pose I just run over the cards and see what kind of a +Christmas you're going to have and how many lovers and who's going to +wear a diamond. That's fifty cents." + +"That's enough to spend on such foolery," laughed Phillipa. + +She pushed out some chairs and took up a pack of cards, threw them +aside and took a clean pack off of the mantlepiece. "Now you try first," +motioning to Phillipa. "Why I can see by your face there's lots of +fortune coming to you. You're the kind of girl men quarrel over." + +She had become a very astute reader of faces and could tell by the +brightening of an eye or the movement of a feature whether she was on +the right tack. + +"Your home isn't here and you are going to it in a few days. You +see--here's the house and there's a distance between," pointing out the +cards. "They are making a big time and lots of company, a great +Christmas dinner, and a dance in the evening, and you'll get kissed +under the mistletoe--but you won't marry that man. There's two of +them--three of them and two offers of marriage. Some one you haven't +seen much of, and there'll be talk of a diamond." + +She shuffled the cards and ran over them again, enlarging upon the +lovers and jealous girls as well as men, presents and fun. "But you're +going to turn your back on it all and you don't want to a bit, and +you're going to have some trouble, and a journey with a trunk, and--why +you'll be in school and you'll be most crazy to hear from the young man +with the diamond, but you just keep your faith, he'll be all right and +there'll be a wedding before the leaves fall. Oh, you'll be as happy as +a queen." + +Phillipa laughed and nodded. + +"Now, you next," to Zaidee. + +Zay hesitated, but took the chair Phillipa vacated. + +At first she seemed a puzzle to the fortune teller. "She had traveled a +good deal. Some one was coming across water that she would be glad to +see--three people, a fair lady who had had a great deal of trouble, +sickness, but was well now. Why they would soon be here and all have +Christmas dinner together. There would be a great surprise with a fair +young man who cared a great deal for her, and there were wonderful +surprises that wouldn't make her happy at first. Here was a strange +girl--but she doesn't want to come. Gifts and friends, and this stout +man--your father," and she knew by Zay's face she had guessed right. "He +is very fond of you--oh, you needn't ever be afraid any one will crowd +you out. Plenty of lovers, too, when it comes your time; a happy +marriage and children, and prosperity. A little sickness, but nothing to +be alarmed about." + +Louie's fortune did not seem so serene. "She was at school and would go +home to keep Christmas. This was elaborated in very agreeable styles. +Then she would come back, but she would be troubled about a prize, be +disappointed in a girl friend who would try to injure her and who would +say mean things, but she must not mind them. Then there were journeys +and pleasures and lovers, but she would not marry very young and would +be engaged twice, and oddly enough be married the second time." + +Then they rose, gathered up their wraps and the fortune teller her +money, with profuse wishes for their happiness and a merry Christmas, +and shut the door. Zay was leading and opened the hall door, stepping +out on the stoop. + +"Oh, my goodness! There's the Dane across the way! Let us run out back +and across lots" and they started in a huddle, opening the door that led +to another room. + +"You can't come in here," declared a voice but they pushed through to +the outer door, flew down the path and across a space over to the next +street, but did not stop until they had reached the side gate to +Crawford House. + +"It's only three of us girls," exclaimed Zay. "We are going to my +room." + +Then they stood in breathless terror, looking in each other's faces. +Phillipa gave a half hysterical laugh, dropped into a chair and went on +laughing. + +"I don't see anything funny," said Louie. "And to come so near being +caught! Do you suppose the Dane was watching out--suspecting? And that +horrid smell in the room, and the girl holding up one of those boys who +was struggling for breath--" + +"You had a good view, Louie," sarcastically. + +"Well, I was behind. Oh, what if it was small pox?" and Louie was white +as a ghost. + +"Small pox! Louie don't be an idiot! See here, we'd heard a thing like +that quick enough. Now I'll tell you--Zay have you any aromatic ammonia? +Let's all take a dose to quiet our nerves and ward off whatever it may +be, and get a lump of gum camphor to take to bed with us tonight, and +Louie if you dare to act suspicious I'll murder you." + +"I don't think it was just the thing for her to let us in if there was +any sickness." + +"I wanted a _real_ Clairvoyant. They do tell you wonderful things, but +she hit a good deal about you, Zay. I wonder who is coming to try to +oust you out? Oh, maybe your brother will bring home a wife." + +"I shouldn't like that," the girl said frankly. "And maybe he will be +sent on a three years' cruise and leave her with us!" + +"Nonsense! Don't bother your pretty curly head. Here let us all take our +composing draught and then wend our way to school with a bold front. +Only we must have some other hats." + +"I'll wear my Gainsborough, and you, Phil, shall have my brown turban +with the bunch of plumes. Louie--" + +"Let me wear the black straw with those yellow daisies. I almost grudge +that to you." + +"Then take it as a Christmas gift." + +The cook stopped them in the hall and said they must have a cup of hot +chocolate. The wind was blowing up cold. + +Then they started home in very good spirits. It was well they had +changed their headgear. Mrs. Dane sat in the hall looking over some +mail. She glanced up and nodded, but she had some suspicions and she +meant to see who came home wearing a light blue Tam. + +Zay flung her borrowed article on Miss Arnold's bed. She had not come +home from the musicale yet. + +Lilian Boyd had gone out for her usual walk. She wanted to see some +pretty things Claire was making for Christmas, but before she reached +the corner she saw Edith Trenham coming rapidly from her mother's, so +she halted. + +"Oh, Lilian--don't go. You can't see Claire--" + +"Is she ill?" in affright. + +"No, no, only--come with me to the druggist; I can't tell you just +now--oh, I'll write you a note. You cannot go there this week. Mother +has a friend staying with her and I have gone to Mrs. Lane's to board +for a week, there is so much school work just now." + +"How very mysterious you are," studying her while she colored under the +scrutiny. + +"Well, it threatens snow and it would be easier for me there. Don't +worry about us--I'll write this evening and tell you the 'whys;' and now +dear, don't feel vexed if I leave you. I have a number of errands to do, +and I'll surely see you on Sunday." + +She had taken a few steps, then she turned and said: "Lilian, do not +mention meeting me today; I ask it as a favor. I will explain it all to +you. Trust me." + +What did it mean? _Was_ Claire ill? She had never seen Miss Trenham so +confused. Evidently she could not have her come to the house. Lilian +felt curiously dismal. There were the shops in holiday attire, but she +said she did not feel joyous, Christmasy. She rambled about a little. +There was the Clairvoyant's sign. Could any one tell about the future, +even another's health? For, somehow it seemed as if her mother had been +curiously distraught of late. If she _could_ know about the future! Oh, +her mother must live the year out, and she was learning a great many +things. She would do for an under teacher then, and by the time she was +twenty-- + +It was cloudy and raw and she hurried up a little. A merry group of +girls passed her laughing and chatting. Why, she had never felt so +alone, not even back in Laconia. Last Christmas had been gay and +pleasant with girls in Sunday and everyday school. + +She went in at the side entrance. She could have taken the other but +this was nearer. She had the right to a good many privileges that under +some circumstances she would have claimed, but the supercillious nod or +the lifting of the brows cut like a knife. Her place was on her +mother's side. + +Mrs. Dane opened her door on the landing and crossed the hall. + +"Oh, you have returned. Did you see your friend, Miss Trenham?" There +was something curious in the tone. + +"I did not go to the house." Yet she colored as if it was a +prevarication. + +"No?" was all the comment in the same tone. + +But her mother was not so easily put off. + +"Did you see your pretty invalid friend and her Christmas work?" + +"No, I did not go in." + +"That's queer. I thought you were going there. Where, then, did you go?" + +"Oh, I only walked around and said over French verbs. It's grown very +chilly." + +"Yes. Miss Arran came in and opened a window. I felt so cold--I wish +people would let you have your room as you want it. They can swing +their's wide open if they want to." + +She was lying on the bed. She looked old and gray and wrinkled. + +"Do you feel poorly, mother?" + +"No, not when I am good and warm." + +"Shall we have tea together here?" + +"I don't want any, I'm very comfortable now. You go and get yours." + +But Lilian sent for it, yet she could not persuade her mother to taste +the toast or the bit of broiled steak. She was hungry. + +Afterward she took up her book to study as she was not due down stairs. +Then there was a tap at the door. + +"Mrs. Barrington would like to see you in her room," was the message. + +She walked thither. Mrs. Dane sat there in her austerest fashion. + +"Miss Boyd," she said, "were you at your friend's, Mrs. Trenham's, this +afternoon?" + +Lilian flushed at the repeated question. + +"I was not," she said rather hesitatingly. "I meant to go, but"--then +she paused. She must not say she met Edith. + +Mrs. Barrington's penetrating eyes were fixed on her face and brought a +vivid color to it. + +"Were you at any other person's house?" + +"No, I was not," she answered quietly. Oh, what does it all mean? + +"Do you mean to deny that you were at the Clairvoyant's from half past +four to about five?" Mrs. Dane said in her most judicial manner. + +Lilian flushed indignantly but her voice was unsteady as she said--"I +was not there, if you"--then she paused. + +"Think again. I saw you walking about nearly at the corner. I went to +make a call on a friend who is ill. When I came out I walked a few +doors, when I saw the Clairvoyant's door open and a girl stepped out on +the stoop. I think there was some one behind her. She saw me and bolted +back in the hall. There are just two girls in the school who have light +blue Tams. Miss Arnold went to a musicale and found hers lying on the +bed just where she left it. I watched, but you did not come out again. +Then I walked around to the rear but saw no one. I had a fair glance at +your face, I think I cannot be mistaken." + +Lilian was speechless with amazement. + +"I met Miss Trenham at the side of the park and we walked together a +short distance. Believe it or not, I went to no one's house." + +"It is important for us to know the truth on account of the terrible +ending," said Mrs. Barrington gravely. "Two boys have been ill with what +their mother thought was measles. The doctor was not sent for until +noon, and did not get there until nearly six. He found one boy dead of +malignant scarlet fever, the other dying and one girl seriously ill. So +you see we cannot afford to have contagion brought in the house!" + +"Oh, what a horrible thing!" Lilian cried. Then she faced Mrs. Dane. +"Oh, you are mistaken, as God hears me, I was not in that house nor on +that side of the street," and she almost gasped for breath. + +"You may go to your room. You will be excused from study hour tonight. +We must consider. I am glad it is so near closing time." + +Lilian felt like one dazed. Yet she was passionately indignant when she +had reached her room. There might be other blue Tams in the town but she +did not remember to have seen many in light blue except Miss Arnold's. +Somehow, Mrs. Dane had never taken to her cordially like Miss Arran and +the teachers. + +Mrs. Barrington was much distressed. She had become warmly interested in +Lilian. She had smiled a little over Mrs. Dane's strictures. + +"There's something about her, a sort of loftiness that doesn't belong to +her life, though she takes things with outward calmness, but I have a +feeling that some day she will break out in an awful tempest, and I +doubt her being that woman's daughter. Mrs. Boyd never talks frankly +about her," Mrs. Dane said, severely. + +"But she is devoted to the poor mother." + +"Well, it seems so," rather reluctantly. + +After dinner Mrs. Barrington summoned Miss Arran and laid the matter +before her. She listened with a kind of terrified interest. + +"I can't believe Miss Boyd would tell such a dreadful falsehood, when +she saw the necessity of the truth. Mrs. Dane has very strong +prejudices. That Nevins girl is about her size and has a long braid of +fair hair." + +"Oh, she was in disgrace in her room, but what a horrible thing that it +should have gone on without even a physician, or any care to prevent the +spread of contagion. Well--I suppose tomorrow it will be all over town. +I gave Matthew strict orders to say nothing about it tonight." + +Presently Mrs. Barrington knocked at Mrs. Boyd's door. Lilian opened it. +She had been crying. Now she stretched out her hands imploringly. + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington you cannot believe I would tell you such a cruel, +willful falsehood! I was not even very near that house. After all your +kindness to me--" + +"There, dear, I believe _you_. I know there has been some mistake. Mrs. +Dane has always been so anxious, one might say jealous for my welfare, +and you see this would mean a great deal to me. You must pardon her +until the truth comes out." + +"Oh, thank you a thousand times," cried Lilian in broken tones, her eyes +suffused with tears. + +"You need not come down to the study this evening. How is your mother?" + +"She is having a lovely sleep." + +"Do not say anything to her, and the girls will be going away before +there is any real fright. I do not anticipate any danger with us. Be +comforted. We shall hear all tomorrow." + +Lilian was almost happy. She had not lost her dear friend. Under any +other circumstances Lilian would have given Mrs. Barrington an +unreasoning adoration. She could not define it to herself. She liked +Miss Arran, but this was beyond a mere kindly liking. + +"She believes in me, she believes in me," and the girl poured the +fragrant balm on her wounded heart. But there seemed an awful undefined +fear. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +A SUPREME MOMENT + + +The girls in the study were looking furtively at one another. Was this a +sort of surprise to be sprung upon them? + +"Oh, Miss Marsh, do you know what this means? I can't make beginning or +middle out of it. Why doesn't Miss Boyd come?" + +"Yes, where is airy fairy Lilian? I think some other life she must have +been a soundless ghost. You look up and she is there. Then she +disappears." + +"I'm glad some of the girls will have to stay through vacation," said +Alice Nevins. "It will be awful poky, I wish I could go to New York and +the theatre every night." + +"Every other night would do for me," said Phillipa, "and here I've two +French exercises to go over. One has five errors--blunders, and the +other three. Madame Eustice wants to go at twelve tomorrow. Miss Vincent +do take pity on me when you go to Paris. I've heard it said you can't +talk it until you've studied it all over again. Oh, what's the use of so +much weariness of heart and brain!" + +No one came. Then in girl fashion they stirred up a sort of gale, saying +funny things and making droll misquotations, or putting the wrong name +to others and wondering what would be in the Christmas stockings. + +"I must leave a pack behind to be darned up. I hope I'll get two boxes +of new ones. Girls, you wouldn't dare offer your old ones to Miss Boyd, +would you? I have some pretty ones and those plaited silk. They wear +better than real silk. Mother thinks they're good enough for school." + +"I don't suppose Miss Boyd has any relatives. It would be rather tough +not to have _any_ gifts. Girls, oughtn't we chip in--" + +"No, we ought not," replied Phil, decisively. "The maid and the +laundress are the only ones I remember at Christmas. Mrs. Barrington has +sensibly forbidden the giving of tips, and since we don't pretend to be +friends it would be a bad precedent." + +"Miss Boyd is an excellent scholar," said Miss Vincent. + +"If she couldn't learn something higher she might as well stay on the +lower rounds," sneered some one. "They relegate these things better in +England. A housemaid's daughter is generally a housemaid." + +"I think I have heard of people coming up from the ranks in favored +England," was the dry rejoinder. + +"Oh, let's let her alone. She'll make her way with that high head of +hers. Perhaps she will be President of some college yet." + +Then they went back to fun. At nine Miss Arran came in and dismissed +them. + +Zay was thinking how solitary the girl must be. Oh, if her mother were +not the general mender! Even if she were a sort of charity scholar! And +she was going to have such a splendid Christmas. Her dear, beloved +mother able to get about by herself, and all the rest of their lives to +be such friends, to go abroad together, to visit picture galleries, +points of interest and compare notes. For Mrs. Crawford had been finely +educated and even the prospect of being an invalid for life had not made +her relax her hold on intellectuality. She had been a delightful friend +to her boys and they were proud enough of her, but Zay would always be +her supreme darling. + + * * * * * + +Some of the last exercises and conditions were marked off the next day. +Madame Eustice and two of the girls went home. A box came for Miss +Nevins and the girls thronged around at her invitation while Nat drew +out the nails that had fastened it securely, and lifted out a lighter +box. + +"That's from Madame I know, and I have frocks enough here for winter. +Oh, that's a splendid fruit cake, and nuts and that's candied orange and +a box of fruit, and this is some sort of jewelry." + +She tore off the wrapping eagerly. A long _lapis lazuli_ chain with a +beautiful pendant and links of exquisite color, and a pair of bracelets +to match. + +"It's elegant," pronounced Phillipa. "I never go crazy over it myself +and it seems too old for a girl; the sort of thing for a dowager to wear +on state occasions. Now, let us see the frock." + +A beautiful, fine albatross cloth in itself appropriate, but betrimmed +with pipings of satin and lace. + +"Why it looks like a wedding gown. You'll have to save it for there will +be no occasion to wear it here. Not even graduation and the lawn fete, +for then we all wear simple white muslin. That is Mrs. Barrington's +law." + +"Oh, dear, and it is so beautiful!" on a half cry. "You see, mamma +thought being a high-up school there would be parties and all that. Last +winter in New York I went to three and oh, you should have seen the +dresses! I had one of blue gauze over thin satin and it was just lovely, +and the dancing was simply great, and here you never go any where." + +"We come here to improve our minds," said some one sententiously + +"I'd like some real fun and gayety, and think that I must stay all alone +here." + +"There will be five girls to keep you company." + +"But there's no fun or parties or anything. Oh, let's cut the cake. I +shan't enjoy it when I am alone." + +It was a real treat, and the nuts and sweets were a feast. They had not +much appetite for luncheon. + +"But did you ever see anything so idiotic as that lovely frock for such +a girl and a place like this where you do not go to high-up parties," +said one of the girls in a group, afterward. "And what it must have +cost! It really ought to be returned as very unsuitable." + +"What can the mother be like, and isn't the father a politician or a +contractor?" with a laugh. + +"No," returned Phillipa. "I asked father to find out about them. Mr. +Nevins is a reputable banker, a very good judge of loans and is rated +quite highly in London. Then he buys curios and pictures, so he must +have some taste. Think what that silly girl will have, enough to make +any three girls of us fancy ourselves heroines of the Arabian Nights; +but the mother can't have any sense." + +"I think the modistes are largely to blame. No doubt the mother ordered +a handsome evening dress, and the woman made it handsome and expensive +and quite useless. You don't see Zay Crawford with any such things!" + +"Zay is beauty unadorned." + +"And Miss Nevins is ugliness intensified. I am really sorry for her, +though she has improved a very little. But when you think of the place +she might take in society--" + +"And the journeys!" + +"Still, I wouldn't want such a mother." + +Phillipa went to her room to finish her Latin verses. + +"Though why you should be compelled to write Latin verses when you can't +make decent English rhymes I don't see," she grumbled. + +She was almost through when the door flew open and shut again with a +bang and Louie Howe threw herself on the floor clasping Phillipa's +knees, her eyes distraught with terror. + +"Oh, isn't it horrible!" she almost shrieked. "Those boys had malignant +scarlet fever! That one was dying the girl held up, he was choking +awfully, and at nine o'clock the other one died. It's all in the +morning's paper. I think they hid it away. Miss Vincent picked it up in +the library. Oh, what can we do?" + +"You can stop screaming and get up." Phillipa fairly dragged her up and +shook her violently. "Hush! hush!" she commanded. "You'll have the whole +faculty in here, and we'll be bundled out bag and baggage. Have a little +regard for Zay and me if you have none for yourself." + +Phillipa drew up the willow rocker and pushed Louie in it. "Don't have +hysterics if that is what you're aiming at or I'll douse you with cold +water until you're half drowned." + +Louie was sobbing now. "I can't help it, and think of the dreadful risk +we ran! That woman ought to be sent to prison." + +"That woman was going on with her business, earning her living. We were +the fools! How did they know it was scarlet fever?" + +"Well, she thought it was measles and was doctoring them, but one of +them grew so much worse she sent for Dr. Lewis and he was so busy he +didn't get there until five, just as the boy died, and the other one +hadn't seemed so bad, but he died at nine, and the youngest girl has the +fever. Dr. Lewis sent for the undertaker right away and they put +something on the bodies and sealed up the coffin and they were to be +buried this morning and the clothes to be burned and the house +fumigated. Oh, isn't it horrible! The woman ought to go to prison." + +"After losing her two children?" + +"Well, to give us all scarlet fever, malignant scarlet fever?" with +emphasis. + +Phillipa was quivering in every nerve. But she _must_ control Louie. + +"Well, we shouldn't have gone there. I think she ought not have let us +in but just said she couldn't admit customers. Now, what are you going +to do?" + +"I--I--what _can_ I do? I s'pose I'll have scarlet fever--" + +"You can give the thing away and be sent home in disgrace. You'll lose +your watch and perhaps not get in another school. You can spoil Zay +Crawford's life for the present, just when it has reached the loveliest +point of all--" + +"And you?" + +Louie stopped sobbing and studied her companion in wonder. + +"I'm not going to have scarlet fever. Those children haven't been sick a +week. Scarlet fever is taken from the little flakes that peel off when +the skin begins to dry up. We surely didn't get any of those. We went +right out in the fresh air and I breathed in a big supply, the room had +been so close. Two of mother's children had scarlet fever and she took +care of them. None of the others had it. It's half fright; just pull +yourself together and don't be an idiot and you'll come through all +right." + +"Oh, Phil! I wish I had your courage." + +"You have courage enough only you won't use it. Just feel certain +nothing is going to happen and you'll come out all right. We're going +home so soon that for our sakes you might summon a little courage. If +you go on this way Louie you'll be--what is it they call hysterical +people? Neurasthenics, I believe. I mean to have a jolly good time with +plenty of lovers and dances and fun and get married. I'm not going to +be a sighing, whimsical old maid, borrowing trouble." + +"Oh, dear!" and she fell to sobbing again. + +"Now, Louie, let me give you some ammonia and you lie here on my bed +while I finish this exercise. Get asleep if you can." + +"Oh, how good you are in real trouble, Phil." + +"Humph! You don't know what real trouble is. To be smashed up in a +railroad accident or run over by a trolley or bitten by a mad dog, such +things might make your hair turn white. There now, don't let me hear +another word out of you." + +She settled Louie on her bed and covered her over with a shawl, +listening every few moments. The sighing breath became more regular, +there were two or three gentle snores. Phillipa rose presently, went +cautiously to the door and placed the key on the outside, then locked it +softly. Louie might sleep half an hour. + +Just as she turned Zay ran into her arms. "Oh Phil--we've just had word. +The steamer will be in this evening. Aunt Kate has sent over and I am to +be dismissed. We go to New York tomorrow morning. Oh, it seems too +blessed to be true, but mother hasn't lost any ground. What a lovely +Christmas we shall have!" + +"And I'm glad enough for your sake, Zay. I've teased you about looking +like that Boyd girl, and I dragged you off into danger, but if anything +should happen to you I never could forgive myself." + +"I don't believe we were in any great danger. I hunted up father's big +medico-something and read about scarlet fever. You don't take it very +easily, but oh, wasn't it dreadful for the poor woman! Only I think she +oughtn't have let us in. The town authorities are going to send them +away as soon as they can. Oh, good-by--but I'll see you when we come +back." + +"I'll keep tab on Louie. We must just hold together. It won't do for the +thing to leak out. I was a ninny to propose such a thing." They kissed +each other and walked down stairs together. Most of the girls were in +the school room discussing the newspaper account. The town was clean and +in excellent shape, there were no fears of an epidemic and even now Dr. +Lewis was not quite sure but it's origin was measles, since the little +girl had a decided case. The strictest watch would be kept. The clothes +and some rubbish had been burned. The clairvoyant's knowledge of the +future was held up to withering ridicule. + +Louie Howe had a long, refreshing nap and woke up in much better heart. +The short day ended by a little gymnasium practice but all the girls +were rather nervous over the affair. + +"Why, I had the scarlet fever once," announced Miss Nevins, "and mamma +would have three doctors!" + +"And you lived through all that?" laughed some one. "Then scarlet fever +can't be dangerous." + +"I don't remember being very sick, and then father sent us to Bermuda. +It was when the lilies were in bloom. It's such a lovely place!" + +"Young ladies," began Mrs. Barrington as they rose from the table, "as +our work is about done I have decided to dismiss school. Some of your +parents may see this sensational account, and everything does get so +exaggerated. There is not the slightest fear of an epidemic, but you +will all be glad of a little longer holiday. I hope you will all return +in good health and the resolve to do your best towards finishing your +year in the best possible manner." + +"You believe there isn't real danger?" asked Miss Kingsland. + +"There have been no cases about the town to indicate an epidemic. The +little girl's case seems to be not very serious as her fever is abating. +Oh, I think we at least need not feel the slightest alarm. We have no +slums to foster contagion." + +Still, the two sudden deaths had created a frightened sort of +impression. The girls kept discussing them until Phillipa protested. + +"Who is going home tomorrow?" she asked. "After all it is only a day +sooner, and who has their Christmas gifts done up? Must we save our +jolliness until we get home? We are all coming back in a fortnight, and +spring comes so soon after the holidays, and there's pegging away at +everything and finally graduation." + +Some began to hunt up trains, others went to packing. Phillipa kept +Louie near her and made funny unsentimental speeches until the old +feeling seemed quite restored. Some gifts were exchanged, some guesses +as to what home presents would be and they said good-night in the best +of spirits. + +"Now, Louie," began Phil, escorting her to her door, "if you get a +granny fit in the night and see horrible things, you just come to my +room and hop into bed with me, and think what a gay time you'll be +having tomorrow night this time, much gayer than Miss Nevins with all +her money and her three party frocks with no place to display them." + +Louie laughed. "Oh, Phil, you're such a comfort," she said with an +extravagant hug, "but aren't you going home tomorrow?" + +"No, not until Friday. I want to see Zay before I go, and I'm not afraid +of unlucky Friday either," laughing. + +Louie slept soundly and was in very good spirits. The girls were all +eager for the morning paper. The scare was pretty well over. The boys +had been buried, the little girl was no worse and if fever did not +develop it would simply be a case of measles. + +Then most of the girls said good-by, wishing each other a merry +Christmas. The others huddled together and bewailed their hard lot, +missing Miss Boyd very much. Her mother was quite poorly, which was +given as her excuse. Mrs. Dane insisted upon a rigorous exclusion until +all danger of contagion was over. + +Quite late in the afternoon Phillipa walked over to Crawford House and +sent up her card to Zaidee with a penciled message. The girl came flying +through the hall, more beautiful than ever Phil thought, in her soft +red cashmere with white lace garnishings. + +"Oh, Phil dear, I'm so glad to see you! I was afraid you would go home +before I had a glimpse of you. We've been so busy and so full of joy! +Oh, you can't think what it is to see mother walking around with no +crutches and the wheel chair set aside, and she's in such splendid +spirits. Vincent will be allowed to come home as a special favor to +papa, getting here early Monday morning and returning that night. We're +just going to have a family dinner with a very few dear friends, but New +Year's night I am to have a party. Oh, can't you come back a little +sooner. I'd like so to have you." + +"I don't believe I can, and you know there are the lovers and the +diamond ring"--laughing. + +"Oh, dear! _Can_ you believe any of it? And the surprise that I'm not +going to be pleased with. It isn't that Willard has fallen in love, he +is going to have his three years' cruise first. Oh, were you _much_ +frightened, Phil? It was dreadful, and no one can tell where the boys +took the disease. I can't help feeling sorry for the poor mother if she +is a humbug, it is such a sad Christmas for her, and was Louie much +frightened?" + +"Oh, she almost went into hysterics and I was afraid she'd give us all +away, but I did manage to get her off safely, and bound her by the most +solemn promises not to mention the escapade at home. It wasn't the right +thing for us to do of course, but mischief always looks so tempting to +you and if we keep silence no harm will be done. It wasn't as bad as +they thought." + +A shudder went over Zay's slight figure. + +"And I am so glad you didn't worry yourself ill," Phillipa rejoined with +real feeling. + +"Phil, can't you stay to dinner and see mother? She's lying down +now--there have been so many calls. Father brought home the German +nurse, who measures off her time in a very funny manner, and he escorts +mother down stairs and up again as if he was a young lover." + +"No, dear, thank you. When I come back the rush will be over and we will +have a good time. I've twenty things to do and start at nine tomorrow. +Good-by and have just the most splendid time, as I shall have. So good +luck for a fortnight," and they kissed each other warmly. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +A STRANGE CONFESSION + + +The girl who had been wrongfully accused was not so light hearted. Mrs. +Dane still preserved her suspicious aspect, and of course the whole +school was eager for every bit of news. Lilian said nothing to her +mother about the talk, she seemed rather fretful and uneasy, as if she +was annoyed by the girl's presence. + +So on Thursday afternoon she went out for a walk. Just beyond the gate +she saw Edith Trenham coming toward her. + +"Oh, were you going out? Let us walk together, then. I have so much to +say to you? Did you think it queer?" + +"I know now," said Lilian. "It was dreadful!" + +"I had to go home for some important school papers, and just slipped in +and out again when you saw me. Of course I did not want it spoken of. +Mother has been very careful keeping the windows on that side of the +house closed. Claire has never had any of the infantile diseases. The +woman thought it measles at first, but they are so particular in the +schools, now. We closed today. Mother is going to shut up the house for +awhile and board at Mrs. Lane's while they fumigate and burn up. The +authorities have ordered the old house torn down. I think not a great +many people visited her, though they did at first. I only hope the +little girl will not die. Mother spoke to the oldest one that morning +and she said her brothers were very ill and that her mother thought she +would have a doctor, but it was too late when he came. Oh, I hope there +will not be any more cases." + +"It would be terrible if they died like that. Our classes are dismissed +as well, I believe there was a great fright among the girls, and just at +Christmas time, too." + +"Will you go down with me tomorrow and have a look at the stores? This +has upset our plans. I wanted you and your mother to come and take +Christmas dinner with us." + +"Mother doesn't seem at all well. I doubt if she could go out, and I +couldn't leave her for pleasure." + +"Well, some other time; and how are you getting along? I suppose you +have vacation as well?" + +"Oh yes. Madame thinks I shall acquire French easily. She reads French +verses so splendidly, and I am doing well in Latin, but oh, there are +such stores of reading! It is a hardship to tear myself away, and poetry +just enchants me--well, when it is high and fine. I have begun 'The +Idylls of the King.' Oh it must be just glorious to write such poetry!" + +"It is a rare gift, and it is something to be able to read and +appreciate." + +"I sometimes envy the girls who have so much leisure, yet they seem not +to improve it. But then--oh, you don't know how lovely it is here, how +much there is to interest and satisfy. Of course I'm not _quite_ +satisfied at present," and Lilian gave a light laugh, "but the town is +so truly beautiful and the house--I wonder if it is silly but I walk +about at times and do enjoy the soft rugs, the handsome furniture, the +pictures, the beautiful bits of art scattered around, and oh, the books! +There never was anything like it in my life before, and if I go back to +comparative poverty, which I suppose I shall some day, for I never can +earn any thing like this, it will linger in my mind as a journey to some +enchanting place. There is so much to learn all the time. Not merely out +of books but the sweet and gracious things one can do; Mrs. Barrington +is so lovely. Am I tiring you with these visionary things?" + +"No, my dear girl, I am glad you can enjoy them and treasure them up +without a feeling of envy. We cannot all of us abound in this world's +goods, but we can be glad someone has them and is willing to share them +with us, at least, allow us to look on." + +"I'm going to study every day and get on as fast as possible. I'm +longing for the time when I can earn money and have a little home of our +own. I wish"--then she paused and recovering herself after a moment, +resumed--"I wish to make some nice friends in my own walk in life, among +those who really love to work and bring about results." + +"And I am sure you will do it. And loving whatever is fine and true and +gracious shapes one's character. God has given us the sense of enjoyment +and he means us to make the best use of it that we can. Oh, we must turn +about. See how far we have walked, and there is a baby crescent moon." + +The dun white of the sky was thinning into blue and here and there a +star pricked through. It was clear and crisp yet the air had a fragrance +of the cedars and spruces. They hurried along, and Lilian promised to +meet her friend tomorrow for another walk. She had never been an +effusive girl, but she could talk so easily to Edith and in the +interchange she could throw off the things that annoyed or depressed +her. + +So they said good-night and she entered the pretty vestibule where she +had first seen Mrs. Barrington. Her heart gave a quick bound as she +thought of that lady's confidence in her truth. Mrs. Dane must sometime +be convinced of her injustice. + +She ran lightly up the stairs, wondering a little that her mother's room +should be in darkness. Crossing over to the match safe she stumbled over +something on the floor and struck a light in half terror. + +"Oh mother! mother!" she cried to the prostrate figure. Then in sudden +fear she called in the hall--"Oh, will some one come! I cannot tell what +has happened to mother." + +Miss Arran answered. The face was deadly white and cold, the eyes half +open, staring. + +"Oh, she is dead! I went out to walk and staid too long." Lilian's voice +was full of remorseful pathos. + +"No," said Miss Arran. "I think she has only fainted. Her heart beats a +little; Let us lay her on the bed and I'll get some restoratives. Is she +accustomed to fainting?" + +"Not like this. Oh poor mother!" + +They laid her on the bed, chafed her hands and bathed her face, using +the lavender salts. After a little there was a faint respiration. Then +she opened her eyes and murmured something. + +"Mother, dear, what happened? And I was away." "It will be better +when--when I'm gone." The vague glance seemed to study the girl with +poignant anguish. "Oh, yes!--better--" + +"You must not say that. You must live to let me repay you for all you +have done for me, and we will be happy--" + +She moved her head from side to side in dissent. "Oh, you do not know, +but I did it for love's sake. I could not live without my child." + +"Suppose we get her undressed, she will feel more comfortable. She has +not looked well for the last week or two. Mrs. Barrington was speaking +about it, but she is such a quiet body." + +Lilian opened the bed. She was girlishly glad her mother's night dress +was neat and lace trimmed, fit to go to her new home. So they soon had +her easier and restful. + +"I should like a cup of tea," she said, weakly. + +"I'll get it," and Miss Arran left the room. + +"Dear mother," and Lilian patted the hands that were thin and cold. + +"Oh, love me a little to the end, I've loved you so much. Whatever comes +you will know I did it for love's sake, and you must forgive." + +"There can be nothing to forgive. You have worked for me early and late. +You must live and let me repay you, make you happy. If I have failed in +the past I will try with all my soul and strength in the future. Think, +every year brings us nearer the home I shall make for you. Oh, do not +talk of dying!" + +"You don't know. I did not think of the wrong then. You were a +motherless babe, then, and I was a childless mother. For you must know, +you must have felt in your inmost soul that I was not your true mother." + +Lilian raised her head in the wildest dismay, and though she stared at +Miss Arran she did not seem to see her. Many a time like a lightning +flash the thought had swept over her, but it seemed awful to have it put +in words, to have the certainty pierce through her like a sharp sword. + +"Oh, mother, you do not know what you are saying. It is some wretched, +horrid dream! You have been too much alone. You have brooded over this +thought of our differences. Children and parents are often unlike. At +all events I have never known any other mother. You must live and let me +prove a true daughter." + +"I did not think there could be any wrong then. If you were cast on the +world friendless, why should I not fill my aching heart with baby love. +Yes, you did love me then, you clung to me. I never thought of there +being someone else--a father, perhaps--oh, heaven help us both!" + +She had raised herself soon after she began to talk; now she fell back +on the pillow fainting. Lilian was sobbing. Miss Arran came to her +relief. + +"I think we must have a physician. I will see Mrs. Barrington." + +The faint was of short duration. Miss Arran was strangely mystified. Was +Mrs. Boyd's talk an hallucination or some secret kept for years that +must needs make its way out at last? Had she any right to repeat it on +mere suspicion? + +Mrs. Barrington sent for Dr. Kendricks at once. Then she went to Mrs. +Boyd's room. How very frail she looked. + +"My poor child," the lady said, "this is very hard for you, and I think +you did not come in to dinner. Suppose you go down stairs for awhile?" + +"Oh, no, I must stay here. Poor mother--" + +"Lilian," murmured the feeble voice and the thin hand wandered out as if +for a clasp. + +She took it, pressed it to her lips, her firm, warm cheek. Should she +pray for life? Would not God send what was best? Oh, that she might have +strength to accept it. She raised her eyes to Mrs. Barrington in +entreaty. Oh, who was she so like at that moment? + +The doctor was announced. Miss Arran sat by the bedside. There was a +lamp on the table and he asked that it might be lighted, making a close +survey of the patient. + +"Was there any shock? Her vitality is at a very low ebb. When was the +first unconscious spell?" + +"I was out," began Lilian, tremulously. "She insisted that I should go +and seemed to want to be alone. I staid longer than I meant, and found +her fallen to the floor--" + +Mrs. Boyd raised to a partly sitting posture and looked up with feverish +eagerness. + +"I went to put something in the chiffonier--you will find it, Lilian, in +a box and the key is--oh, what did I do with it?" + +"Never mind, dear," in a soft tone. + +"But _you_ must mind, and then I turned--it was my leg. It is heavy and +I can't raise it, but the ache is all gone." + +Dr. Kendricks turned down the blanket and examined the limb, nodding as +if convinced. + +"Oh," she cried, "is it paralysis? Then it will not be long. My mother +had two strokes a week apart, her mother never rallied from the first. +I'm tired--worn out, and Lilian will be better off without me. She may +find--I have written it all out--it's there in the drawer--" + +"Oh mother!" Lilian kissed her and put her back on the pillow where she +gave a gasping sigh. + +Dr. Kendricks beckoned Mrs. Barrington out of the room. + +"She is in a very low condition and I doubt if she survives more than a +few days. What about the girl--_is_ it her daughter?" + +"Why, yes--though they are very dissimilar; but she is a devoted +daughter. The mother is caretaker, the daughter a student." + +"She seems to have exhausted nature. The fainting spells may be a method +of rest. Let her sleep all she can. Very little can be done for her. I +will leave some drops to be given if she is very restless and will look +in in the morning. It is rather unfortunate this should happen to you, +just now." + +"Oh, school has closed and there is plenty of help. I want everything +done for her." + +Then Mrs. Barrington returned to the room. Miss Arran sat by the foot of +the bed, Lilian was bathing her mother's face. + +"My child," Mrs. Barrington said, "you had better lie down and get a +little rest. We will watch--" + +"No, I want Lilian," entreated the mother. "You will not leave me? When +I am a little rested I want to tell you how it came--" + +"Yes, yes, but not now. I would rather stay here. It is my place, and +now there are no other duties." + +So the hours wore on. Mrs. Boyd seemed to fall into a tranquil sleep. +Lilian laid down on her own bed, and slept in a disturbed sort of +fashion. Then morning came, and the house was astir. + +"Oh, Miss Arran have you watched all night? How good you are!" + +"I had several naps. Your mother was very quiet. She seems better. Mrs. +Dane is coming in and you must get some breakfast. Then if we need a +nurse--" + +"Oh, no, do not have one. My place is here. Oh, Miss Arran," and Lilian +turned deadly pale, "you heard what she said last evening. It _can't_ be +true. Would any one ever work and make sacrifices for a child not her +own? She _is_ my mother." + +Miss Arran nodded. "Unless she is much worse I do not think we will need +a nurse. There will be so little to do in the house that I shall be +quite at liberty." + +"Yes, Mrs. Boyd was much stronger," the doctor admitted, though the case +was not much more hopeful. A second stroke might end it all. "But she +seems to have something on her mind. Is it anxiety about her daughter?" + +"I have assured her that Lilian will be my charge. She has the making of +an unusually fine scholar, and she is a high minded, honorable girl, +sincere and ambitious." + +"The daughter has taken from somewhere a much stronger physical and +mental equipment. What of the father?" + +"Oh, he died when she was a mere infant." + +The embargo had been removed from Lilian and Mrs. Dane treated her with +a sort of tolerant sympathy. She roamed about the deserted library and +chose some books, a few girls waylaid her in the school room. Miss +Nevins made an importunate appeal, quite forgetting her past disdain. + +"Oh, why can't you stay down here?" she cried. "It's awful dull, and +there's no fun going on. Miss Graniss is going to take us down town when +the stores are lighted up, but it's so long to wait until evening." + +"Mother is ill and I want to stay with her," Lilian returned coldly, +provoked at the selfishness. She read awhile, then took up some +embroidery. Miss Trenham came in with the gift of a beautiful volume of +poems. Claire sent a little reminder in a most exquisite book mark. She +was quite delighted in the change to another home, where there were two +girls. "Could Edith do anything for them?" + +"They are all so good here, and mother doesn't need much, she seems to +sleep a good deal." + +The sick girl at the Clairvoyant's was improving. Not even a case of +measles had been reported in town. + +So the winter day drew to a close. Lilian watched the little procession +starting out under the convoy of Miss Graniss. Yes, she had run out that +way at Laconia--how long ago it seemed. Oh, she ought to have sent a few +gifts to old girl friends. She had really no heart for gladness. + +Lilian sat over by the gas burner reading that most beautiful Christmas +part of "In Memoriam." She almost heard the "happy bells ring across the +snow," so rapt was she in the poets charm. Then something stirred. Her +mother was trying to raise herself. + +"Oh mother--" + +"Put the pillows around me, so, I want to sit up. I want to talk. I have +been living it over. And I am surely going to that other country. I +shall have my own two babies in my arms, and their father will come to +meet me. I want to tell you how it was. It has come back so distinctly, +much plainer than when I wrote it." + +Miss Arran had started to come in but paused at the door. Lilian's back +was towards her. Mrs. Dane going through the hall paused as Miss Arran +held up her finger. + +"Oh, mother, not tonight." + +"Yes, now. I feel so strong. After husband died my brother sent for me +and wanted me to take up some land adjoining his. Mr. Holland, who was +holding the life insurance--all I had, was not willing until I had seen +what the place was like and he thought that kind of life very hard on +women, but my brother was the only relative I had, though I had not seen +him for years. After I had started I was frightened about the journey +and the strange people. There was one woman with a baby, a bright, +beautiful child with rosy cheeks and brilliant eyes. I supposed her the +mother, for I saw her nurse the infant, and there was with them such a +beautiful woman. She came to me in the night, and when I looked at her +the last time she was dead," and she sighed. + +"We were most of us asleep when there was an awful crash. Then horrible +shrieks and cries and being thrown about--" + +"Oh, mother, don't, don't!" Lilian implored. "Your mind is wandering--" + +"No, it is true, horribly true. It was one of the awful accidents of +that time, more than fifteen years ago, but I suppose I became +unconscious. My babe flew out of my arms; my little baby," in a +lingering tone as if the words were sweet to say. + +"When I came to myself it was in a room where several were lying around +on cots, and two women sat close together trying to hush the crying +child." + +"Give me my baby, I almost shrieked. Bring me my baby." + +"They brought it and I hugged it to my breast, gave it nourishment, +cuddled it in my arms and I fell asleep full of joy. We both slept a +long while. When I woke the woman brought me a cup of tea and some +bread. I was ravenously hungry. Then I asked what had happened. It had +been twenty-four hours." + +"It was a horrible accident at a place where tracks crossed. All day +they had been clearing away the wreck and sending bodies into the +nearest towns for this place was small. A number had been killed +outright. Will you give me some of that tea in the tumbler?" + +"Oh, mother, do not tell any more," the girl pleaded, shuddering. + +"Yes, I must, I must! When morning came the woman helped me up and I had +some breakfast. I had been stunned and bruised, but no bones were +broken." + +"We are so glad the baby was yours," one of the women said. "The other +poor baby and its mother was killed." + +"I went to the bed presently and turned down the blanket. There lay the +lovely child warm and rosy, the picture of health. I devoured it with +kisses. Yes, it was mine. God had saved it and sent it to me. It had no +mother, so it was mine. I called it by my baby's name, and I couldn't +have cared more for my own flesh and blood. You were so beautiful and +bright--so fond and loving. On the other side of the room lay the lovely +woman who had interested me so much. They thought her dying, she looked +as if she were dead, I never saw anything more perfect. She was like +sculptured marble. They were trying to get every one away and the next +day an official questioned me and offered to make good any loss. I had +my ticket pinned to the lining of my dress, and what money I had taken +with me sewed up in a little bag. There had been a fire as well, and +much of the baggage was burned. I had lost my trunk but they paid me its +full value and more, and sent me on my journey." + +"I have told you what a dismal place my brother had in Wisconsin. There +were five big, rough children. I was not fitted for farm work. I missed +my old friends and so I went back to Laconia, but my whole life was +wrapped up in you." + +"And many a time I must have seemed ungrateful. Oh, mother, when you did +so much for me!" sobbed Lilian. + +"Oh, dear, I have thought it all out. You were not of my kind. It +fretted me at first. You were always a little lady, doing things in a +nicer way than most girls, and you were forever reading and studying. If +we could have kept the boarding house," in tones of regret, "but there +was my long illness and the house was sold torn down for a great +factory. Then I took up the sewing. It was easier in some ways. I liked +Sally Marks and her mother so much. The gay jolliness and the merry +chat. They were like two girls together. But your heart was set on the +High School. Oh, Lilian, do believe I would have kept you there if I +could. Then I began to wonder what your own mother and father had been +like, and if your father was alive. Perhaps he could have done much +better for you. The thought wore on me, and I was not well; I knew that. +You see I should have had a girl who did not mind working in a shop and +enjoying good times with other girls, going to parties and picnics and +having lovers and marrying as I did, and having babies. I loved babies +so. To be a grandmother to a little flock seemed very heaven to me." + +"Oh, mother, don't! You will break my heart," sobbed Lilian. + +"No, child, you were not to blame. God gave you all these high thoughts +and ambitions; I never had any of them, and after we came here I +understood it still better. You belonged to these kind of people, your +ways were theirs, your ambition was right, and I was very thankful that +such a refuge opened for us. You have been a good, devoted child. +Tomorrow we will talk it over again. Now will you send for some toast +and eat. Oh, Lilian, child, don't cry. God will bring you out right and +forgive me for what I did out of longing love." + +Lilian turned, Miss Arran took a step forward. "I will bring it to you," +she said, and she motioned to Mrs. Dane who stood like a statue. + +"Let us go to Mrs. Barrington. She must know this," she whispered. + +Lilian bathed her face and readjusted her mother's pillows. The whole +world seemed in a daze about her. Yet she was not so much surprised +either, but stunned, incapable now of judging whether there had been any +right or wrong. If no one belonging to her had been found--and her own +mother was among the killed, she might have been turned over to some +foundling asylum. + +"I feel much better," exclaimed Mrs. Boyd. "But, oh, Lilian, don't pray +for me to live, for I should be a helpless burden on you, and I'll have +my two own babies in heaven. I meant to do it for the best when I +claimed you, and I think God will understand. It's been a poor, broken +sort of life but I've tried to do up to the lights I had, and yours will +be better, higher. Mrs. Barrington appreciated you and will help you. +God surely opened this way for us." + +Was it truly of God's providence? She had longed so ardently for the +refinements of life, the possibilities of education. Some times it +seemed as if He answered petitions in the suppliant's way and freighted +them with another burden. + +But if this should be laid upon her she would pray for strength to do +her whole duty. It was hardly likely she would ever find any one +belonging to her, that was too wild a thought. She would keep this +generous foster mother as long as she needed love and care. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +WHOSE CHILD AM I? + + +Miss Arran tapped lightly at the half-open door and Mrs. Barrington bade +both ladies enter. + +"How is Mrs. Boyd?" + +"Why she seems curiously better. She has been talking awhile to her +daughter and her voice has a latent strength that surprises one, and we +have been unwitting listeners to a most remarkable story. Did you ever +suspect that she might not be the own mother of Miss Boyd?" + +"The thought has crossed my mind. They are so dissimilar." + +"I have never really liked Mrs. Boyd or the girl either," began Mrs. +Dane. "There seemed something to conceal, some secret between them. I +had a fancy Lilian was on the watch all the time lest her mother should +betray it." + +"Oh, did you think that? It appeared to me the anxiety of a girl of good +breeding lest her mother should fall into habits of a different kind +that were rather annoying. Yet they had always been together--" + +"It seemed to me aping a style really above what she had been used, a +certain pretentiousness, that did not appear suitable to her position, +but she has proved a devoted nurse and daughter, and I will confess my +prejudice has received a great shock, and I admit frankly that I may +have been mistaken when I accused her of being at the Clairvoyant's. +Miss Arran will you tell the story--it seems a deathbed confession." + +Miss Arran began. She had started to go in Mrs. Boyd's room to see if +anything was needed when the words arrested her, and she detailed the +journey Mrs. Boyd had undertaken with her infant child, the dreadful +midnight disaster, the unconsciousness of the poor woman until the next +day, her hearing the child cry and claiming it unwittingly, and then +learning the child's mother had been killed as well as her own baby and +her resolve to keep it; her taking it on her farther journey, and caring +for it as her own, her latent remorse lest she should have defrauded the +girl out of a better birthright-- + +Mrs. Barrington rose suddenly and paced the room in strange agitation. + +"Somewhere I have heard a story that might be the other side of this. It +is very strange," clasping her hands. "One would not want to make a +mistake." + +"I wish you might _hear_ the story, and one point of importance is +whether it would be wisdom to help the girl in any search for her +parentage. Sometimes unfortunate facts come to light. You, perhaps, can +tell what will be the best course to pursue." + +"Yes, I am glad you came to me. I had resolved to keep Miss Boyd here +after her mother was gone. I must give the matter some thought. We will +not be hasty. Yes, I should like to hear the confession and ask her some +questions. Lilian must not stay alone tonight." + +"I will gladly offer my services if they would be acceptable," said Mrs. +Dane. + +"I think I will take the first part of the night, and then you may be +watcher. I thank you very much for your kindness." + +Mrs. Barrington went to the quiet apartment. Lilian had fallen asleep +with her head on her mother's pillow. She had exhausted herself with a +soft, pitiful crying. With the quick unreason of youth she upbraided +herself for the many times she had been secretly mortified at her +mother's lack of the qualities she liked best. She had spent hours in +dreaming of a phantom mother sweet, graceful and refined, who loved all +delightful things, who was stirred by music and poetry, who could +receive guests with a gracious hospitality in the pretty home which +should be simple as befitted moderate means. The sympathy between them +would be perfect. They would linger over well-loved poets, they would +discuss their brave heroes and favorite heroines. How many times she had +fallen asleep with this dear mother's hand clasped in hers! + +But here had been the hard working mother instead. Yes, she had tried to +help. Nearly all the summer vacation she had sewed steadily, but she had +never given the real love. It was as if neither truly understood the +other's language. + +"All the rest of her life I will try," was her last conscious thought. + +Mrs. Barrington found them both asleep. She studied the girl's face, the +finely cut features, the wide eyelids with their bronze fringe, the +beautifully curved lips. It _was_ an aristocratic face. She hardly dared +think there _was_ a resemblance, and yet it explained what had puzzled +her at times. "Lilian," she said softly. "Lilian, child, it is time you +were in bed." + +The girl roused suddenly with a startled look. Then she caught the hand +and pressed a fervent kiss upon it. + +"You are all so kind," she murmured. "I can never repay you +sufficiently." + +"Do not think of that, I am going to sit here awhile with your mother +and you must try and get some sleep." + +"Mother is better I think," hesitatingly. "She is stronger, and now she +is sleeping peacefully." + +She slept on with only a rather heavy breathing. At one Mrs. Dane came +to relieve her. Lilian was on the alert quite early and her mother asked +for some breakfast. + +At ten the doctor came. "I feel so much stronger," the invalid said, +"but I can't move my limbs. There doesn't seem any life in them." + +"It was quite a severe stroke." + +"And if I should have another?" + +"We won't think of that just now. You must eat what you can of +nourishing food." + +Mrs. Boyd glanced up at the doctor with beseeching eyes-- + +"It is best that I shouldn't live--" + +"For your daughter's sake." Dr. Kendricks felt almost ashamed of the +platitude. A helpless burden on a young girl, a poor, weak woman. + +"It _is_ for her sake. She has found a good friend in Mrs. Barrington, +and I can do no more. I did what I thought best then, but I did it for +the sake of my aching, lonely heart. But for the child I believe I must +have died then. Doesn't God forgive when you do what seems best?" + +There was anguish in every line of the wasted face. + +"God knows the motive of every deed, and if it is done in single +mindedness, in love and charity he will accept." + +"It was done in love. You see, her mother was dead. There was no one to +claim her. Oh, what am I saying! Go away, you can do nothing for me," +and she turned her face over to the wall. + +He stood some seconds by her. She was crying softly, and again motioned +him away with her hand. + +He went out of the room and looked around. Yes, there was Mrs. +Barrington. + +"What is the matter between that mother and daughter?" he inquired +brusquely. "She seems--well _is_ the girl her own child? Has she +done--something--" + +"Oh, doctor can you spare a little time? I am troubled and puzzled. She +made a strange confession last night and it seemed almost as if I knew +the connecting link. Let me call Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran." + +They came and at Mrs. Barrington's invitation were seated. The doctor +studied them a moment with drawn brows. + +"Doctor, I want you to relate your experience of more than fifteen years +ago when you went out to the scene of that frightful accident from which +Mrs. Crawford has suffered so long and when her twin daughter was lost." + +"What has that to do with it?" + +"You will see. I believe Major Crawford left his wife and daughter in +your charge when he was ordered to the west with his regiment." + +"Yes." He seemed to study a few moments. "Then came the word of the +skirmish with the Indians when he was wounded in the leg which proved so +much worse than he first thought and she decided to go out to him and +take one of the babies. He had gone fairly wild over the birth of the +little girls; they had so longed for a daughter. Marguerite, if you +remember, was a strong, robust baby, laughing if you so much as smiled +at her. A beautiful baby, I thought, looking much like her mother. +Zaidee was smaller and more delicate, though never ill that I can +recall. She decided to take Marguerite and the wet nurse who was very +proud of her charge and fond of Mrs. Crawford. When we heard of the +frightful disaster you may remember that I went out at once. It was a +most dreary place, just a sort of freight station where the tracks +crossed the through road. It could not be called a town, though now it +is a thriving city and the freighting road runs miles below. When I +reached the place most of the wreckage had been cleared away, the dead +buried, the wounded sent to friends or hospitals at a distance. I found +about half a dozen remaining, four of them almost well enough to resume +their journey. Two were thought hopeless, one of them being Mrs. +Crawford. Fifteen years ago there were not so many conveniences as there +are now, and as the fire broke out afterward the baggage was mostly lost +and it was quite difficult to find the names of the passengers at first. +The nurse and the baby had been killed outright. There was one other +baby on the train and that had been taken farther West with its mother." + +Miss Arran and the housekeeper exchanged glances. + +"Mrs. Crawford had sustained some injury to the brain and for the first +few days they had thought her dead half a dozen times. The people where +she had been taken were very kind. She was in a comatose state most of +the time, and when she roused seemed quite ignorant of what had +happened. There was some injury to the back that rendered her limbs +useless. As soon as I could make arrangements I had her removed to +Indianapolis to a fine hospital where we found, on an exhaustive +examination, the spine had been injured, the ligatures strained and +muscles actually torn apart. When the Major was well enough to +travel--and he came very near losing his leg, it seemed, he joined us, +and we journeyed on to New York. Meanwhile the Major's brother had died, +a queer, penurious old fellow who had never given up his rights in the +estate and now it all came to the Major, besides a large amount of +money. He resigned from the army and they came home. Mrs. Crawford had +kept her mind through all this and had been most brave, recovering very +slowly as you know and when she could manage to get about on crutches it +appeared as if the last stage of recovery had been attained; but now it +seems nothing short of a miracle. And there was the beautiful little +golden haired fairy to gladden their hearts--" + +"But the nurse and the child?" interrupted Miss Arran. + +"The child was crushed beyond recognition. They placed it in the coffin +with the nurse and buried it temporarily. The Major meant to have it +brought home, but it was so long before they could get about it, and it +seemed like living the heart-breaking episode over, so he concluded to +have it permanently interred in a burying ground a few miles distant, +which is now a really beautiful spot. Mrs. Crawford was ill so long that +it seems like a dream to her." + +"And did no one ever hear of the other child?" + +"What was there to hear? The mother claimed it." + +"The woman dying in yonder room claimed the child first, ignorantly, +then believing the mother dead, took it in the place of her poor +murdered child." + +"No!" The doctor sprang up and began to pace the floor. "Why, then, that +young girl--" + +"Miss Arran will you tell the other side of the story. Why it seems to +me there can be no mistake," said Mrs. Barrington. + +"Well--this is most marvelous. Does the girl know--" + +"Oh, she protests. I think she has no idea. But the mother fancies we +may find some relative, a father perhaps, for she truly believes the +mother dead." + +"But this confession--would she repeat it again?" + +"I think she spoke of having it written out somewhere." + +"It must be well authenticated, you know. And--what steps have you +considered?" + +"None. Tomorrow will be Sunday--they will all go to church to give +thanks; then on Christmas day they are to have a small family dinner. +You and Mrs. Kendricks and myself, two or three dear old friends, and it +would be hardly wise to mar the sacredness of the occasion. We may see +our way more clearly, I would not like to have Miss Boyd disturbed on +uncertainties." + +"I will take a further look at her," said the doctor. "I have known +cases like hers to last weeks, even when strength seemed to be almost +gone." + +He wanted also to see Miss Boyd again. He had not noticed her +critically. Mrs. Barrington had spoken of the likeness that had puzzled +her in the beginning, the elusive resemblance to Mrs. Crawford in her +girlhood, as for two years she had been at school. He paused at the +door. She was standing by the window her profile distinctly outlined. It +was classic, from the broad, shapely forehead, the down-dropped eyelids +with their dark fringe, the straight nose with the fine, flexible +nostrils, the rounded chin, the lips that seemed to shut in sadness and +longing, but it was the poise of the head, the arching neck, the +shoulders proud enough for a statue. It needed more real youthfulness +for sixteen, but one could trace resemblances. + +Did she feel the scrutiny? She turned. The front view was more girlish. + +"Oh," she exclaimed, "mother is sleeping. Is it a bad sign for her to +sleep so much?" + +"It gives her rest and saves the wear on her nerves. You are a watchful +nurse. Where did you learn so much?" + +"I think it comes to you when one has done so much for you," she +answered quietly. + +"Did you always live in that western country town?" he asked, just to +make talk. + +Lilian colored and hesitated. "When I was a baby mother went out to +Wisconsin to her brother's, I don't remember anything of that. Yes, +afterward we lived in Laconia until we came here; but, do you think she +can--mend?" and she approached the bed. + +Dr. Kendricks made a slow movement in the negative. "She has very little +strength. Was she ill before she came here?" + +"Long ago she had a fever, but I think now she has been weakly for a +year or more. I was so anxious to keep in school. Oh, I ought to have +helped more," and the tears stood in her eyes. "For we were poor." + +She uttered the fact with a kind of prideful dignity. "She did +everything for me and I had planned when I began to earn money that we +would have a home--" + +"Yes, you have been a good daughter," and all this while she might have +been living in a delightful manner in her father's house, loving and +beloved, the comfort of her mother! For she would have been a devoted +daughter in that beautiful home. He hardened his heart against the dying +woman, and walked quietly out of the room. + +"The story must be true," he admitted to Mrs. Barrington. "But I cannot +tell what step to take first. Would you mind if I saw Mr. Ledwith? He +has been the Crawford lawyer and was the brother's executor. I am quite +mystified and perhaps not capable of judging." + +"Why, I think that would be an excellent plan. Yes. He can tell better +what steps to take. But Lilian will not leave the poor woman. I am not +sure she believes the story. She does not count on any change but is +glad to stay here with me and fit herself for earning a living. She has +a very loyal nature." + +Mrs. Boyd roused and ate her dinner, then Lilian read her to sleep +again. She begged not to be sent out to walk and Mrs. Barrington +yielded. + +At five Mr. Ledwith called, full of interest in the strange story and +begged to see Mrs. Boyd, wondering if she would repeat it. Lilian was +summoned. + +"Oh, it would seem cruel to disturb her," she cried with passionate +tenderness, "and she suffered so in telling it the other evening. It +cannot make much difference to me, since my own mother was killed, and +my father may have been dead before that. I shall always hold her in my +memory as my mother." + +"But the woman who was killed may not have been your mother." + +Lilian started in surprise. + +"There seems to be a reason why we should be certain in this. Trust me, +I will not torment her needlessly." + +"My dear child it _is_ best;" said Mrs. Barrington. "Can you not trust +me?" + +Lilian was not convinced but she led the way. + +"Oh, where have you been so long?" cried the invalid. "You said you +would stay--has some one come to take you away? Oh, you will not go. You +promised. It will be only a little while." + +She fell into a pitiable terror. Lilian soothed. Mr. Ledwith tried to +explain that they might possibly find the young girl's father who was +now a prosperous man. + +But Mrs. Boyd would not be persuaded. She began to talk incoherently, +and suddenly raising her head and leaning on one elbow said--"send them +away. It is all true as I told you. You are not my own child, but I have +loved you all these years, oh, you _will_ stay with me! I can feel that +it will not be for long. It is there in the drawer--I wrote it out. It +took so long and I was so tired, so tired! Give it to them and send +them away. Oh, Lilian, he is not your father. Promise me you will not go +with him." + +Lilian opened the drawer. There lay quite a big packet, with the +superscription,--"For my daughter Lilian when I am dead." + +She simply handed it to Mr. Ledwith. He and Mrs. Barrington left the +room. Mrs. Boyd gave way to a wild fit of weeping and Lilian had much +ado to comfort her, but presently she soothed her to slumber. + +"Who heard this story or confession?" he asked as they entered the +library. + +"Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran." + +"Will they come and listen? They can tell whether the two will agree and +point out any discrepancy." + +It was written in a shaky hand and evidently at intervals, many words +misspelled and phrases repeated, but with a passionate sincerity and an +overwhelming love for the child whose mother she thought dead, and she +fancied the baby might be thrown on the charity of the world, but she +knew even then it was not her baby but the longing for the child was +pitiful. Mrs. Barrington was reading it and now and then her voice +faltered. + +"Oh," said Miss Arran, "they are alike except that this seems more +pathetic. There is no doubt of the truth in my mind. Of course _she_ saw +the difference as Miss Lilian grew older and she was afraid she might +have defrauded her of some better fortune. Oh, I pity the poor woman +profoundly. She had a hard life. Mrs. Barrington, this must have seemed +a haven of rest to her. Providence must have guided you." + +"It is certainly remarkable," subjoined Mr. Ledwith. "I will see Dr. +Kendricks this evening, but I think we had better wait until after +Christmas so as not to mar the happy reunion of that day. Then we must +see how the Major will take it. It is one of the things he almost never +refers to, and he was afraid of intensifying the loss by having the body +brought here for burial. Truly there are many strange happenings in this +world. I am requested to look up another child that was given out for +adoption, and now has a fortune coming to it after twenty years." + + + + +CHAPTER X + +UNRAVELING TANGLED THREADS + + +Sunday morning was glorious. There had been a light fall of snow and +every tree and shrub was in feathery whiteness, while the sky was as +blue as June. The sun came up through the long levels of yellow light +more golden than ever until every branch and twig shimmered in +iridescent hues. + +Lilian bathed and dressed herself, now and then leaning over her mother +who seemed to breathe regularly, but the face was thin and pallid, and +the soft hair seemed to have whitened in these few days. She bent over +and kissed the cool forehead. + +Miss Arran looked in. + +"Oh, is it all right? I left you at two; there really was no need of +watches as I was just across the hall, but I think you confine yourself +too closely. Now you must go down and take a walk on the porch. The +morning air has a positive balminess in it. It really should be +Christmas morning with the angels singing for very joy." + +Lilian looked undecided. Yet the very thought of sunshine and fresh air +was reviving. + +"I will call you the moment she wakes," said Miss Arran, and the girl +went. + +Oh, how delightful it was! She drew in long breaths and gave a great, +fervent thanksgiving. Yes, it was good to live, to be able to work, to +have a purpose in life and see the way to attain it. + +She went in presently. Her mother had just wakened. She bathed her face +and hands with fragrant water, brushed her hair and put on a pretty +dressing sacque of her own. Then she had some breakfast which she +appeared to enjoy. + +"I feel so drowsy," she said. "I am so comfortable and at ease." + +That was much to be thankful for. + +"Lilian will you do me a favor this morning," began Mrs. Barrington in +her most persuasive voice. "I want you to go to church with me. The +Crawford family will be there to give thanks. And we have learned that +your mother was in the same fearful accident and her escape was a +marvel. All these years Mrs. Crawford has been an invalid but she has +borne her suffering with exemplary patience. Dr. Kendricks went out at +once but there was scarcely any hope of her living then. Your mother +spoke of a beautiful woman they thought dying or dead--do you +remember?" + +"Oh, yes. A woman with such lovely golden hair. Miss Zaidee's is +exquisite, too. Yes, I will go. I should like to see her. How strange it +all is! And my own mother, it seems, was among the killed." + +"It was terrible. Of course your mother going away so soon did not hear +all of it. Yes, I want you to go with me." + +Dr. Kendricks made his visit and saw there was little change. Several of +the girls were going and they started early. Mrs. Barrington kept two +pews on one side of the church, which was all in Christmas attire with +wreaths of holly here and there, and clusters of golden flowers dried in +their natural colors. The altar was fragrant with real blossoms and to +Lilian there came a deeper emotion than reverence; something she had +never experienced before. She who had no joy of her very own must +rejoice in that of others and search out the blessings of the spirit, +find a way into the other kingdom, where the things one hungers and +longs for are laid up against the time one is fitted for the pure and +high enjoyment of them. The strength of the steadfast waiting, the lives +that touched with near or remote sympathy and held God's promise for +today, for all time. There was something kept for those who wearied +not, that was bestowed when the soul had come to understand the true +source of beneficent living. + +She had been listening to the beautiful music and now there was a sudden +hush while several of the congregation entered. There were Major and +Mrs. Crawford, and certainly curious eyes might be pardoned as she +walked up the aisle with a graceful step. Oh, yes, she _was_ a lovely +woman, as in sweet humility and reverence she bowed her head. + +Then followed Zay and the fine looking midshipman who showed his pride +in every line. What it must be to have a brother like that! Yet there +was no envy in Lilian's soul, since all these joys and privileges were +far beyond her. But she had a quick, responsive nature when anything +really touched her, and she joyed sincerely in this other's joy. + +The service was gracious and comforting even to her. Hundreds of years +ago ignorant shepherds sat watching their flocks all the long starlight +night, and then the song of the angels, the great promise, the new era, +the blessedness for the whole world that each might take his share. + +And the reverent prayer of this, Thy servant, delivered from her bodily +illness who desired to return thanks in the presence of all Thy people +touched her heart to tears, and she joined in it fervently. + +The class did not stay for the whole service. Lilian hurried home, glad +to escape the chatter of the curious. Her mother had just roused. + +"It was such a sweet, comforting service. I wish you could have heard +it, and--" would she understand about Mrs. Crawford--her "beautiful +woman?" + +"I'm afraid when you leave me. Don't go away again," and the thin lips +quivered. + +"But you have slept all the time, and you _do_ feel better." + +"If I could move about--" fretfully. + +"Can I help?" + +"Oh, no. I want to do it myself, but my limbs won't stir. Is it spring, +that the sun shines so?" + +"No, dear. Tomorrow will be Christmas." + +"Do you remember Sally? She had a party you know and you wouldn't go--" + +"But I was only a little girl, a school girl, and they were young +ladies." + +"Lilian do you mean never to have a lover? It is the happiest time for a +girl. He takes you out and buys you pretty little things. He gave me +that work box on Christmas, and a ring afterward. I don't see how God +could have let him get killed--we were so happy. He wasn't your father. +Both his babies died. Do you suppose he found them in heaven?" + +Mrs. Boyd began to cry. Her mind wandered considerably now. Lilian tried +to read to her but she broke in with irrelevant snatches that had been +pleasures to her long ago until she dropped off to sleep again. + +There was a rather joyous time in the morning. Mrs. Barrington +remembered her household and the girls who had been compelled to stay. + +Lilian gave thanks for two beautiful volumes of poetry. Miss Arran +remembered her with a box of very nice stationery, Mrs. Dane with some +handkerchiefs, Mrs. Barrington went to the dinner at Crawford House, but +the girls complained of the dullness. Lilian was so used to being +sufficient for herself, so fond of reading that the day passed even if +it had no Christmas joys. + +It was very happy at Crawford House. Vincent had arrived in the morning +and added to their joy. Zay was bright and animated and the three +planned many delights for the future. + +"There ought to be some young people," said the mother, "but we couldn't +have both and yours will come later on. I wanted these dear old friends +who have been such a comfort in my hard and trying years and then I +shall begin over with you and be young again." + +"And I was proud enough when I found I was put on the list for a three +years' cruise," declared Willard, "and now the thought quite unmans me. +But we may stop at some place where you can all take a flying trip." + +"It can't be next summer," said Vincent. "I have engaged them for my +grand occasion. Next June I shall be a full fledged soldier and there +will be the ball in which Zay will shine a star of the first magnitude." + +"And set the day after," laughed the girl. "Oh, Phil Rosewald wants to +come and half a dozen others, but I suppose you can't invite so many +sisters and cousins." + +Vincent drew his face in an amusing half frown. "Is Phil as funny as +ever? Doesn't she sometimes jump over the traces? And how about the +lovers? I think she had them ever since she stepped out of the cradle." + +"In the multitude there is safety," said their father. + +Mrs. Barrington could not keep her thoughts from the lonely girl +watching beside the dying woman. Oh, how would she get to her true place +in the bright happy group. For years she had been as dead to them. Would +Zay, who had garnered all the love and tenderness in her own girlish +heart, be willing to share it? + +Dr. Kendricks drew her a little aside. "I can't stand it!" he exclaimed, +"I couldn't break in upon this blessed day, but the thought of Miss Boyd +has haunted me every moment. I must tell the Major tomorrow morning. Oh, +how do you suppose he will take it? Mrs. Boyd is no longer reliable, her +mind fails hourly. But out of the mouth of two or three witnesses +everything shall be established. Hasn't Miss Boyd any curiosity?" + +"Very little. She thinks her mother is dead and has built no hopes about +a father and she relies upon my word. She has looked forward to caring +for herself so long that I hardly see how she will give it up. At first +she will not be glad. If the Major should doubt the story--" + +"The likeness grows upon one. I saw it so plainly this morning. She is +more like her mother than Zay and will make a fine looking woman. And I +have seen it in Mrs. Crawford a dozen times today. I no longer doubt and +I feel like an arch conspirator." + +Mrs. Crawford was enjoying herself keenly, though the nurse insisted she +must take to the sofa and let others do the talking. The children +gathered about her, full of eager love. Was there in the whole wide +world a happier mother? And yet--far away another darling lay in a +lonesome grave. She had ceased to speak of it and her husband thought +she had outlived the sorrow. In a certain way she had. + +Then the guests prepared to depart. At nine Vincent was to take his +train. + +"But you and father can run up now and then. They will be glad to see +him. They are always proud of their old graduates, especially those who +have distinguished themselves. But, I'm glad you didn't have to make a +present of your leg to the country." + +"It did come pretty near it. Ah, we have a great many mercies to be +thankful for. It seems as if there was nothing more to ask except that +you boys should keep in the right way." + +"As we shall try to," Willard returned and Vincent's eyes gave a +similar promise as he kissed his mother good-by. + +"Put on your wraps and come along with us Zay," said Willard. "You must +need an airing by this time." + +Zay was nothing loth. They talked of next summer, the elder brother +regretting that he would be in Japan in all probability. Then they said +a tender good-by, and on the homeward way Willard proposed a call on the +Norton's where there were two charming girls and a few other guests who +were having a little dance. + +"Oh, yes," assented the young midshipman. "For you see, girls will be +quite out of my line the next three years. I shall sigh for their charms +and return a critical and opinionated bachelor, judging all girls by the +novels I have read in my solitude." + +"I think I'll make you out a list," said Eva Norton, laughingly. + +"Do, and send it in a letter with your approval and disapproval of the +characters so I shall know what to copy and what to avoid. + +"And now you must have one dance." + +Zay thought it rather late, but her brother overruled and they had a +merry time, but it was midnight before they returned. + +Major Crawford and his wife often had their breakfast in the dainty +sitting room up stairs. Zay just glanced in to bid them good-morning as +Willard was impatiently calling her down. She had not slept very well +and had a headache, and she would not go out for a walk with him. She +heard her father reading the paper aloud, so she went to her room and +dropped on the bed again. Her throat began to feel sore and swollen. +When she heard the doctor's voice in the hall she leaned over the +banister and said: "Dr. Kendricks will you come up here a minute or +two?" + +"Yes, yes, what now? Did you feast too high yesterday?" + +"I don't know. I feel sick all over. First I'm all of a shiver and then +so hot and my head aches." + +"Well, we must inquire into it. Yes, you are flushed and getting +excited. I think it is a feverish cold and some indigestion. We'll soon +fix that all right. Luckily I brought my medicine chest along," and he +laughed. + +"Doctor, you don't think--are there any more cases of scarlet fever?" +and her voice was tremulous. + +"Scarlet fever! Don't get any such nonsense in your curly pate. No, +there's not another case and the little girl is recovering rapidly. Why +you've not been even exposed to it and yours is just a cold. Now, +alternate with these and I'll be in again this afternoon. But, I'd stay +in bed and rest." + +She slipped into a soft white wrapper, and Katy came in to straighten up +her room. + +"You were out late last night, Miss Zay and you've caught a cold." + +"But, I so rarely have a cold." + +"It sounds in your voice. Keep wrapped up good and warm. There's nothing +like heat to drive out those pernickety colds and I wish you'd drink +some hot water." + +"I'll see by and by." + +She turned her hot throbbing temple over on the pillow. If only she +could shut out the sight and the smell of the clairvoyant's room, and +that boy grasping for breath. It must have been something awful for them +both to die almost together and be shut up at once in their coffins; and +then a horror seized her. She had always been so well and joyous. Oh, +what if she should die? It would kill her mother. Girls were more to +their mothers; business called so many of the boys away. + +She began to cry. The doctor and her father went down stairs. She +thought her mother would come in and tried to calm the sort of +hysterical mood. What _were_ they talking about so long? Was she worse +than the doctor had admitted? She heard her father's voice rise as if in +a passion which his visitor seemed trying to subdue. Oh, what _had_ +happened? + +Her mother entered the room very pale and with frightened eyes. + +"Oh, Zay," she cried, dropping on the side of the bed, "have you any +idea what your father and Doctor Kendricks are quarreling about? Your +father is not easily excited--he used to be very quick in temper but he +has grown so gentle and considerate. But it is something that rouses him +to white heat. We have always been such dear friends since that time of +the great sorrow, and it is not about the boys, I know. Oh, Zay, what is +the matter? You look ill--you must have a fever, your eyes show it." + +"The doctor called it a feverish cold. He is coming again this +afternoon." She was half listening to the tumult in the library, and she +shook as if in an ague. + +"Oh, there they go again. Why--they are going out," and she went to the +hall to call to her husband but the door was flung to as if in a +passion. Then someone entered and ran lightly upstairs. + +"Mother, Zay, what is the row about? Father looks as if he--but he never +_does_ drink and they are going to Mrs. Barrington's." + +Zay buried her face in her hands and began to sob. + +"Oh, mother, what is it? Has Vin met with some accident? And we were so +happy yesterday! Do you remember the old story of the gods being jealous +of the happiness of mortals? There was nothing to wish for." + +"I do not know what it is, but it has excited your father desperately +and I am afraid Zay is going to be ill." + +"My dear Zay--I should not have kept you out so late last night. We +called at the Norton's and had a little dance. Don't you need the +doctor--" + +"He was in. He is coming this afternoon. Oh, my head aches--" + +"And you look fit to drop, mother. Let me call the nurse." + +Freida gently impelled Mrs. Crawford to her own room and laid her on the +lounge, making passes over her brow and chafing her cold hands. + +"Now, lie still and get tranquil, and I will see to the young lady." + +"I would like to put you in a hot bath with plenty of salt, and then +give you a good rub. Why, you have gone all to pieces, as you Americans +say." + +Zaidee made no demur. Willard went and read aloud to his mother. The +girl was bathed and rubbed and rolled in a blanket. She felt real +drowsy, but the thought haunted her--what if Louie Howe had been taken +ill with scarlet fever and they had sent word to Mrs. Barrington? Then +Louie must have confessed and the three would be implicated. No wonder +her father was angry! + +She tossed around for awhile but, in spite, of her mental excitement she +fell asleep. The luncheon hour passed; no one wanted to eat. Then Major +Crawford let himself in with his latchkey. He was very pale now. + +"Oh, is there bad news?" asked Willard. + +"It depends on--how your mother takes it. Such a strange story--I can +hardly credit it myself. Do not let us be interrupted unless I have to +summon someone," and he passed on his way upstairs. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +STANDING UP TO THE MARK + + +Lilian Boyd bathed her mother's face and hands as usual and prepared her +breakfast. Her eyes were brighter, her voice stronger, but the girl +noticed that her face seemed a little swollen and the lines about her +mouth had lost their flexibility. + +"You are surely better. You have more appetite," yet the tone was not +hopeful. + +"Oh, my dear, it is nearer the end, and it is best. You will do better +without me, and what if you should find someone--a father to be proud of +you? Such things have happened, and I may have kept you out of something +that was your right. Oh, will God forgive me?" + +Lilian caught the thin hand and pressed it to her lips. + +"Mother, you must not worry about this. Suppose my own mother was a +widow like you going to a new home to earn her living. Why, I might have +been put in some Children's Asylum. And I have had many comforts and a +love willing to make sacrifices. I have been a dreamy girl building air +castles for the future, but I would have worked hard to make them real. +I see now how much is needed and I am not afraid----" + +"Oh, if I could think you had lost nothing through my selfish love----" + +"But it was your friend who sent us here. And you are not sorry we +came?" + +"Oh, my child, it was truly God's providence. Mrs. Barrington has been +so good. She will help you to attain your best aims. Since we have been +here I have realized the difference between us that I only felt vaguely +before. You belong to these people. You have their ways and it is not +all education, either. This is why I feel your people could not have +been in the common walks of life." + +She paused, exhausted. + +"Now, you must not talk any more but try to sleep. Shall I read to you?" + +"No, not now. Oh, Lilian, you will not tire of me? You will not leave +me? It cannot be long----" + +"No, no, and this will be my home. Let that comfort you." + +Lilian took up some embroidery. Mrs. Barrington had merely looked in to +inquire. How still the house seemed, and she was in a highly nervous +mood. What if Major Crawford should not believe the story? Well, Lilian +Boyd should never know how near she had come to being a heroine of +romance, and she should achieve some of her desires. + +Mrs. Boyd drowsed. Yes, it was really the providence of God that she +should be removed. She would always have the things she most desired, +which she, Mrs. Boyd could not have given her in the pretty home Lilian +had been planning. She had been happy with her lover, then her husband. +But, Lilian would shrink from the kiss of the grimy man fresh from his +hard work, and after his brief ablutions, sitting down to supper in his +shirt sleeves and then lighting his pipe and pushing his baby up and +down the front walk, jesting and laughing with the neighbors. There were +blocks of them, most of them happy women, too, except when the babies +came too fast or died out of their arms. And a few games of cards in the +evening, a play now and then merry enough to keep one laughing. No, it +would never have done for Lilian. + +And she would feel out of place in the life to which the girl aspired. +She would never get quite at ease with these refined friends whose talk +was of books and music and the part great men and women were playing in +the world. + +How many times does one have a foreshadowing of the real things that +affect life! One may be heavy hearted for days groping about fearsomely +and suddenly the cloud lifts without any misfortune. Then swift in the +happiest hour comes the stroke that crushes one. Lilian looked straight +ahead in her life. She would serve her time here and repay Mrs. +Barrington for her generous kindness. + +In a lovely old town like Mount Morris, the lines of caste get +unconsciously drawn. Where people have lived hundreds of years and can +trace back to some titled ancestor perhaps, where they have never known +the hard grind of poverty, but have worked on the higher lines. There +had been several noted clergymen, two bishops, scholars, senators and +even an ambassador abroad. There was no especial pride in this, it was +simply what was to be expected of sons growing up in this refined, +upright and moral atmosphere. But they sometimes passed rather proudly +by those of the next lower round who bent their energies to money +making. + +Lilian had soon come to understand that and her personal pride kept her +aloof from any chance of snubs. But she would want a wider world +presently that was not bounded by a grandfather or a fortune that had +descended through generations. + +There were moments when Mrs. Boyd's confession seemed a feverish dream. +She did not dare build anything on it, because she had indulged in some +romantic dreams and longings, because there had been wounded vanity +almost to a sense of shame, she held herself to a strict account. No +matter what she might gain here, she would always be considered Mrs. +Boyd's daughter. She had not expected to be received with the young +ladies of the school, and had taken no notice of the little rudenesses +that might have had a better excuse if she had been trying to crowd in. +So all the refinements of birth and education did not always conduce to +the higher generosity of heart. + +Miss Arran came gently in the room with an anxious glance toward the +bed. + +"Mrs. Barrington wishes to see you in the library, Miss Boyd. I will +stay here with your mother." + +Lilian laid down her work as she rose and said: "Mother is asleep now." + +Then she went slowly down the wide stairway, her eyes lingering on some +of the panels that had been painted in by a true artist. + +"My dear child," the lady said in a voice that seemed full of emotion, +"you must have felt from the beginning that I had taken an unusual +interest in you. You suggested some person that I could not quite place, +but came to know afterward that it was one of my early scholars, a most +charming girl. She married happily and had two sons, but they both +longed for a daughter. Providence listened to their prayers and sent +them a double portion, two lovely girls. My friend's husband was a +soldier stationed on the frontier and in an Indian raid was quite +severely wounded. It was not deemed best to risk moving him and she +resolved to go out to him. One of the babies, the first born was larger +and stronger than the other, and she determined to take this one with a +most excellent nurse she had. You heard the story Mrs. Boyd told. My +friend was in the same frightful accident--the nurse was killed +outright, but the baby by some miracle had not so much as a scratch. The +only other baby was crushed beyond recognition." + +Lilian sprang up, then the room seemed to swim round. She caught at the +chair back to steady herself and gave a great gasp. + +"Oh, and my mother, Mrs. Boyd, took the child, but they all thought the +nurse the real mother. And, oh--she could not bear to give up the baby. +Oh, you must forgive her." + +"In the confusion I can see that it was very easily done. Dr. Kendricks +went out at once. He found the mother gravely injured and the word was +that the baby was dead. It was beyond recognition. Mrs. Boyd, who had +only been stunned, had gone on her way. You have heard her side of the +story, knowing the other side when Miss Arran detailed it, we sent for +Dr. Kendricks and pieced it all together. You have been so occupied with +your supposed mother, and I must say you have been a devoted daughter, +that you have hardly noted our excitement and interest. The confession +established the facts beyond a doubt in our minds, but we were not sure +how the father would take it. And the place has altered immeasurably; +there have been so many accidents since, that that has passed into +oblivion. But no one can dispute the proof. Your mother was a noticeably +handsome girl; but there is a curious resemblance, and it grows upon +one." + +"And I am scarcely handsome at all," the girl said, slowly. + +"Have you no curiosity to know whom you belong to?" studying Lilian +intently. + +"Oh, I dare not ask, I hardly dare believe! It is so mysterious. She, +yes, I will call her mother, though there might be a father somewhere. +And was that beautiful woman they believed dying----" + +Lilian clasped her hands over her eyes. Like a flash it seemed to pass +before her. Zay Crawford's double, some of the girls had called her. + +"Oh," she cried, "can I endure it? What if they do not want me?" + +"If they had doubted the story it would have been kept from you. Can you +guess--" + +Lilian flung herself in Mrs. Barrington's arms, with a long, dry sob. + +"Oh, do not give me up," she cried imploringly. "Let me stay with you. I +will serve you faithfully for I love you, and these people are +strangers----" + +"Think, what it must be after her years of sorrow to clasp her child in +her arms; to know that it had been well cared for, tenderly loved. Oh, +she is your own mother and you will come to love her dearly. This +morning Dr. Kendricks was to tell Major Crawford the story. Fifteen +minutes ago word came that they would be here. Lilian, your father feels +hard toward Mrs. Boyd. You know Dr. Kendricks would have recognized you +if she had not taken you away, and it is only natural that he should +feel indignant." + +"Must I see him before she--she cannot last long. Oh, she must not hear +this, and I will not leave her until the very last." + +Then the child suggested her father. + +"There they come," exclaimed Mrs. Barrington. + +The two men entered the drawing room. Lilian clung to Mrs. Barrington, +but that lady impelled her forward. + +"This is your daughter, Major Crawford," she said, "and this, my dear, +is your own father." + +Lilian stood like a statue. It was as if she was turning to stone. Oh, +he could not deny her. The clear cut features, the golden bronze hair, +the proud figure that seemed to add dignity to the whole. So, her mother +had stood, in girlhood. + +"Oh, my child! my child! have you no word of gladness for me after these +long years! The baby I never saw--my Marguerite." + +Was her tongue frozen and her lips stiff? Oh, what should she say? How +could she welcome this stranger? + +"And that cruel woman has stolen your love from us, as she stole your +beautiful body. Oh, where is she? Let me see her!" + +"You were to keep calm, Major," exclaimed the doctor. "We have gone over +all this, and the poor woman is dying. To upbraid her now would be +nothing short of murder." + +The Major glanced wildly around. "Why think of _our_ loss and sorrow. +She _knew_ the child was not hers. And she ran off like a thief in the +night. Oh, I can't forgive her." + +"Oh, you must," cried the girl with the first gleam of emotion she had +shown. "For she mistook the nurse for the mother. Everything must have +been in confusion. She thought of me as a motherless baby, perhaps to be +cast on charity----" + +"But all these years! And poverty, when a lovely home awaited you; +brothers and a sweet sister and such a mother! Oh, she ought to know and +suffer for the crime." + +"She was almost crazy with her own grief. And she was good and tender +and devoted to me. She shall not suffer for it in her dying moments." + +She stood there proudly, her face a-light with a sort of heroic +devotion. So her mother would have taken up any wrong. Was he unduly +bitter? + +"Oh, my darling, have you no love for me? No want for your own sweet +mother--" + +Something in his pleading tone touched her and his face betrayed strong +agitation. His arms seemed to hang listlessly by his side. She took a +few steps toward him and then they suddenly clasped her in a vehement +embrace. + +The doctor glanced at Mrs. Barrington and they both left the room. + +"It has been a hard fight," he said. "He was so enraged at first that I +was afraid he would come and have it out with the dying woman. The fact +that she knew the child was not hers and yet took it away seemed to stir +all the blood in his body. Poor thing--one has to feel sorry for her; +but he raged over the privations he thought his child had endured, and +her being here in an equivocal position. The Crawfords were always very +proud. And one could not expect a girl just in the dawn of womanhood to +fly to a stranger's arms." + +"Yet it took her so by surprise, and she has a proud, reticent nature." + +"Let us go and see Mrs. Boyd." + +Major Crawford felt the girl's heart beating against his own. He raised +the face and kissed it, amid tears, deeply touched. + +"You must forgive me. You do not know what it is to have some one stand +between you and your child all these years. I used to dream how it would +have been with twin girls running about, climbing one's knees, doing a +hundred sweet and tender things. Zay has been so lovely, so loving; but +all these years we never forgot you. We gave the most fervent thanks for +your mother's recovery, and when you are safe in her arms--oh, it seems +almost as if it was too much joy." + +"It is so strange," and her voice was tremulous. "For I never could have +dreamed of anything like this. I did not dream, for it seemed as if a +man who had lost wife and child would want to begin over again, and in a +good many ways I tried to believe I had been too visionary--longing for +things quite beyond my reach. So I have been praying that God would send +what was best for me and trying to make myself content. Oh, are you +quite sure there is no mistake?" and there was a pitifully beseeching +sound in her voice. + +"If we can believe that thief of a woman. Oh, to think she should carry +away our baby and leave us her little dead child," and the only half +conquered passion flamed up in his face again. + +"But, you see, if I had been the nurse's child as she thought, the poor +nurse who was dead, it would be a brave and tender act----" + +"I have no pity for her. You must come away. Oh, Marguerite, there is +your own sweet mother, who when she hears will want to clasp you to her +heart at once. And Zaidee, your twin sister----" + +She shrank and stiffened a little. Zaidee Crawford would not be so glad +to welcome her. She felt it in her inmost heart. For she had been the +pet and darling of the household all these years. All the girls had paid +her a curious sort of homage. She had been invested with a halo of +romance, and generous as she seemed with her equals, she had established +a rigorous distance between them. Lilian fancied she was annoyed by the +suggestion of a resemblance between them. + +Her father was momentarily piqued by the unyielding lines of her figure +and the hesitancy. + +"Oh, my child you must take in the strength, the absolute reality of our +claim, unless you cannot believe this woman--" + +"I would stake my very life on her truth, and I can recall so many +things that seemed strange to me then, especially these last two years. +She so dreaded leaving me alone in the world, and I am not willing to +embitter her last moments. You see she never thought of my parents being +in a much higher walk in life, and the knowledge that she had kept me +out of so much would be a cruel stab. No, let me wait until it is all +over, and you have accepted the strange story truly. There are others +beside yourself----" + +Her eyes were full of tears as she raised them. It _was_ noble to take +this view, though he really grudged it. + +"You mean then to stay here until--" + +"I have promised sacredly, solemnly. There may be some things to +certify. Mrs. Barrington spoke of one, that the confession, ought to be +signed before witnesses." + +"Yes, though we should never doubt. And if there was any question there +might be a legal adoption;" then he paused. His wife had not heard the +story yet. Yes, his anger had hurried him along with scarcely a thought +of all that needed to be done. He had dreamed of the joy of bringing the +mother and daughter together. Yes, she must be prepared. + +"Perhaps you are right," he admitted, reluctantly. "Yet--oh, how can I +leave you. It seems as if the joy would vanish." + +"I do not think I shall vanish," and she half smiled through her tears. + +The doctor came downstairs with a grave face. + +"There has been a sudden change. The paralysis has crept upward. She is +moaning for you. Go to her." + +Lilian flashed out of the room. + +"Are you convinced?" asked the doctor. + +"Oh, positively. And what a noble girl! I hate to have her love that +woman so, and yet it shows a true and generous nature. Why, I think some +girls would have gone wild over the prospect." + +"Mrs. Barrington is enthusiastic about her and she has had a wide +experience with girls. But my dear Major, there is a good deal to be +done. Your wife must hear the story, and we must consider _her_ health, +her nervous system must not have too severe a shock. And this Mrs. Boyd +must attest her confession in some way. She can hardly speak +intelligibly. With your permission, I'll hunt up Ledwith. It's best to +have everything secure." + +"Yes, yes. And, doctor, I want to apologize for my anger and unreason +this morning. Why, we are half brutes after all. I believe I could have +almost murdered that woman for stealing my darling baby and sneaking off +without a word of inquiry. I do not yet see how Marguerite can forgive +her for keeping her out off her birthright all these years; for dragging +her through poverty and all kinds of menial labor; and here she was the +caretaker's daughter! Think of it--my child, Zay's sister! Even now when +the child pleads for her so earnestly I cannot really forgive her. Will +you pardon me for my outbreak? My child is tenderer and more generous +than I." + +"The poor woman has come to the last stages. It is a matter of only a +few days. It would be cruel to part them now." + +"You are all against me," with a sad smile. + +"You must go home and explain this matter to Mrs. Crawford, and to your +sister. Then send the confession to Ledwith. I will see him. And, oh, I +promised to drop in and see Zay. She has some nervous crochet in her +head." + +"Is she really ill?" the father asked in alarm. + +"She has some cold and a little fever. Don't excite her." + +They walked away together. The doctor found Zay's fever much higher and +she was in a state of great excitement. + +"Oh, what has happened," she cried. "What was papa so angry about? And +you took him away----" + +"A matter of business that he could not look at reasonably at first. And +it may be a delightful surprise for you, so you must do your utmost to +get well. Men have many bothers, my dear." + +"It was not about Vincent?" + +"Oh, dear, no. There was a telegram from him. He reached West Point all +right, and all is going well. Now, I shall give you a composing draught +and order you to sleep all the afternoon." + +"And the fever?" tremulously. + +"That's simply cold and nervousness. You will be about well tomorrow," +and he laughed. + +"Mrs. Barrington was--oh, I suppose the girls who stayed had a dull +time." + +"I didn't hear any complaints. I guess they are all right. Don't you +worry about them or anybody." + +If she could hear that Louie Howe was well; maybe Phil would write +tomorrow. Oh, she couldn't be seriously ill or the doctor wouldn't be so +indifferent about it. If she only could go to sleep and forget about the +Clairvoyant's awful den! + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +OH, WILL I BE WELCOME? + + +There was a late luncheon and then the Major returned to his wife's +sitting room where Aunt Kate was keeping her company with some exquisite +needlework for her darling, Zay, who had insisted upon being left alone. + +"I have a curious story to read to you that concerns us all. I am glad +to have you here, Kate, as a sort of ballast. It was what excited me so +this morning and I was very unreasonable. The doctor threatened to put +me in a straight jacket." + +Aunt Kate laughed. Mrs. Crawford studied her husband intently. + +"Oh, go on with your work. I shall feel more composed." He turned his +chair a little, ostensibly for the light, but so that his wife might not +watch his face. + +He began with Mrs. Boyd's list of misfortunes after her few years of +happiness and her resolve to go out to her brother's. At times he +stumbled over the poor penmanship and halted. + +"Why, it must have been the train I was on," interrupted Mrs. Crawford. +"I remember there was a woman with a delicate looking child. I believe +ours were the only two babies. Oh, if I had not taken my little darling! +But she was so well and strong, such a fine happy baby, and nurse Jane +was so good." + +Mrs. Boyd had hurried briefly over the terrible collision. + +"Everett," interrupted his sister with an indignant emphasis, "why +recall that awful happening. It can do us no good now." + +Mrs. Crawford leaned her head on her hand and balanced her elbow on the +broad arm of the chair. + +The Major's voice shook slightly. Mrs. Boyd had been quite graphic about +her calling for the baby, her care of it from midnight to the next +morning and settling her mind to what the woman had said; her resolve to +keep the child when she heard the other mother had been killed. She +sprang up suddenly. + +"Oh, it was nurse Jane who was killed. And she took my baby, my darling. +Oh, who was she? Can we ever find her?" + +Then she fainted and her husband caught her in his arms. + +"Oh, you have killed her!" cried Miss Crawford. "How could you recount +that awful time of suffering, and that the woman should steal the baby! +Oh, that was just it, there's no use mincing matters!" + +It was some minutes before Mrs. Crawford regained consciousness, then +she gazed imploringly in her husband's face. + +"Oh, tell me--where is my darling? Is she really alive. Can we find +her?" + +"She has been found. She is well and in good hands. Oh, my dear wife, I +felt vengeful at first, but I have come to pity the poor thing. +Marguerite pleaded for her. And we must be thankful that she had the +courage to confess the matter." + +"Then--you have seen her?" + +The voice was shaken with emotion. + +"She is at Mrs. Barrington's." + +"Oh, can't we go to her? My dear baby, my darling Marguerite! Why, it is +almost as if she had been sent from heaven." + +"My dear--" her husband caught her in his arms or she would have fallen +in her eagerness. "Oh, it will all come right, but you must be patient +and get stronger. There are reasons why she cannot come, or you cannot +go, and you must hear the rest of the story." + +"Everett," began his sister, "how do you _know_ but that this is a +scheme to extort money. How can you be sure it is your child? There are +so many swindlers or blackmailers in the world." + +He was arranging his wife on the couch, thankful she had borne the +tidings so well. Then he seated himself beside her, bending over to kiss +the pallid lips. + +"There can scarcely be any chance for fraud. No one would profit by it, +and now, shall I go on with the story?" + +They both acquiesced. + +There was something so pathetic in the fostermother's love for the child +and her fear of its being cast on the world as no one seemed to know +anything about the supposed mother. Then her return to her early home; +her struggles against misfortune, poverty and ill health, and after a +little, her dismay at finding the child so different from what she had +been herself, so ambitious, so longing for refinement and showing such a +distaste for common ways. The failure of her own health, the +impossibility of keeping the girl at school any longer when Mrs. +Barrington's proffer had seemed a perfect godsend. But it was too late +to recover the health that had been so shattered by poverty and hard +work. + +"Well, if it _is_ true she was a courageous woman," declared Miss +Crawford. "One can't forgive her for taking the child without making a +single inquiry." + +"But everything was in such confusion, and you will remember that +Marguerite lay unconscious for a long while, just hovering between life +and death. And at that time, in the western countries there were not so +many safeguards. When Dr. Kendricks reached the place, Jane and the baby +had been temporarily buried. Yes, it was easy for the thing to happen +when Mrs. Boyd wanted the baby so much. I can hardly forgive her, but we +must admit that the confession showed an earnest desire to repair the +wrong." + +"Where is she?" + +"At Mrs. Barrington's. Dr. Kendricks thinks she can last but a few days +longer and the child is resolved to stay until the end. I tried to shake +her determination but found it useless." + +"I admire her for it," said Mrs. Crawford. + +"I should doubt her fervent love if it could be transferred so easily +from poverty to wealth. Yes, I am proud of my dear daughter whom I have +not seen in fifteen years. But the whole story is marvellous." + +"And yet there is nothing impossible about it. We can see how simply it +all happened." + +"What is she like?" + +"Mrs. Barrington was quite puzzled about a resemblance to some one, and +she thinks it you. She has not the radiant beauty of your girlhood, +neither has she the dazzling charm of Zay. Oh, I think she is the most +like Willard; rather too grand for a girl of sixteen, with a great deal +of dignity. Oh, you should hear Mrs. Barrington talk about her. And how +do you suppose she and the doctor kept the secret yesterday! They knew +it would disturb our happy Christmas. And _she_ was nursing the sick +woman." + +"Oh, did she know?" + +"Not that she was our daughter until this morning. I felt bewildered +over it all," and Major Crawford gave a deep drawn sigh. + +His wife pressed his hand. Her tears were flowing silently. + +"Well--it will be very strange to have her here," remarked Miss +Crawford. "But I warn you, Zay will always be the dearest to me." + +Twilight was falling around them. Mrs. Crawford would never have her own +lights early. This was her favorite hour with her husband. Aunt Kate +stole softly to Zay's room and found her sleeping tranquilly, the fever +mostly gone. + +"Oh, I wonder how you will take it," she mused. "You have been the +darling of the household so long." + +For somehow, she was not in a mood to welcome this newcomer. True, there +must be the strongest proof or Major Crawford would not have been +convinced or allowed himself to get in such a passion with this Mrs. +Boyd. But a girl reared amid the commonest surroundings, enduring the +straits of poverty, lack of education, no accomplishments, how could she +take her place in the front rank of Mount Morris society? And the +boys--how would they accept this rusticity and probably self conceit? + +Major Crawford and his wife often fell into tender and mysterious +confidences at this hour, that were never shared with others. They were +very happy in her recovery though the last two years she had suffered +very little. But she did not want to depute the care of her daughter +growing into womanhood entirely to Aunt Kate who had many worldly aims +and prejudices, and who was very proud of her niece's beauty. And now +such a load was lifted from her soul that had never quite forgiven +itself for taking her finest baby on the unfortunate journey. + +"Oh, I must see her," she cried in a whisper. + +"But she will not come here until all is over with that poor woman. I do +not see how she can care so much for her." + +"My dear, it shows a true and strong regard. Remember it is the only +mother she has ever known. To turn at once would show a volatile +disposition. I have been afraid of that in Zaidee, who is easily taken +with new friends, though I will admit that she does not discard the old +ones. But I wish sometimes other people were not so easily attracted by +her." + +"But she is charming," said the admiring father. + +"I hope they will love each other. We must expect a little jealousy at +first. And you think she is not--that her narrow life has not dwarfed +her." + +"Oh, you should listen to Mrs. Barrington's enthusiasm. You see, it was +not an easy place to fill, after all. She was in some of the classes, +but she held herself aloof. Then she taught a little among the younger +day scholars, and kept a certain supervision in the evening study hour. +Her mother's position was a sort of handicap, she was so very meek and +retiring. All women cannot add dignity to an inferior position, and +young people are very apt to take them according to the position. Mrs. +Barrington was planning some changes for the new term that would be +brought about by the passing away of the poor woman. I think she meant, +in a way, to adopt her." + +"Oh, she must be worthy, to have made such a friend." + +And the mother was wondering, but dared not ask what Marguerite had +grown into. She was not like Zay, all the coloring was darker. Willard +was fine looking for a young man, but would it not be rather masculine +for a girl? She had a fancy for the soft attractiveness in a woman. + +Then the light came and dinner. Mrs. Crawford went to Zay's room +afterward and found her comfortable and better, with no recurrence of +fever, and they had a pleasant little chat. + +The next morning a letter came from Phillipa, full of merry nonsense +about gifts and gayety and lovers. She was very well, with the very +underscored, and two engagements for every evening. She had not heard +from Louie, "but I should have if her little finger had ached; she +would have been afraid of some distemper. And I hope you are all having +a splendid time." + +Afterward Dr. Kendricks came in. Yes, she was better, the throat was all +right; there was a slight remnant of the cold, and it would be best to +be careful for a few days. Oh, yes, she could dress herself and go about +the house, but not out driving. + +"You danced a little too much Christmas night, though for the life of me +I don't see what you were so nervous about." + +She flushed and laughed and felt that she had escaped a great danger. + +Then he and the Major set out together, meeting Mr. Ledwith at the +school. The doctor went upstairs. Lilian met him with anxious eyes. + +"Yes, there has been a great change. She has gone more rapidly than I +thought. Can she speak?" + +"Hardly. Now and then a word. Yet she understands all that I say to +her," Lilian returned, gravely. "But she was quite restless during the +night." + +He nodded. "You see, my dear Miss Boyd--you will be that until you take +your new name, the confession has no signature. It might never be +called in question but sometimes, years afterward, in the various +changes of property, it might be necessary to establish a legal +identity. Can you make her understand this? And you can attest most of +her story. I will call up Mr. Ledwith. And your father is most desirous +of being present. He will make no trouble." + +She went out in the hall to meet him. + +"My dear," he said, "I am more reasonable than I was yesterday. Your +lovely mother has placed some views in a different light, and she is +most glad that you have never lacked for a fervent love and care. And we +both forgive her." + +"Oh, thank you for that. Though Mrs. Barrington advises that she had +better not be told of the discovery. You see she is so tranquil now, +knowing that I am provided for." + +Then they entered the room. Mrs. Boyd scarcely noticed them, but her +eyes questioned Lilian, who began to explain, holding the poor hand in +hers. Mrs. Boyd seemed confused at first, then she said with some +difficulty--"Yes, yes." + +Lilian and Miss Arran pillowed her up in a sitting posture and placed +the material on a portable desk. + +"It is just to sign your name." + +She seemed to listen as Mr. Ledwith read the affadavit, and nodded, +with her eyes on Lilian, who put the pen in her hand, but she could not +clasp it. + +"I think you will have to guide it. She does not understand." + +Lilian took the poor shaking hand in hers, and the sick woman looked up +into her face and smiled. + +It was written, but even Lilian's hand shook a little. "Emma Eliza +Boyd." + +"That is all, dear," said the girl. + +She made a great effort to articulate, and her eyes had a frightened +look in them. "You--will not--go?" + +"Oh, no, no," returned Lilian, with a kiss. + +"Tired--tired," she gasped. + +They laid her down and gave her a spoonful of stimulant but she only +swallowed a little of it. + +The others left the room. Dr. Kendricks shook his head slowly. Mr. +Ledwith gave the last page of the confession to Major Crawford. Lilian +sat on the side of the bed, chafing the cool hands that had grown more +helpless since yesterday, and presently Mrs. Boyd slept, but one could +hardly note the breathing. + +Mrs. Barrington looked in and beckoned to Lilian. + +"Your own mother is here," she said softly. "And I feel like putting in +another claim, but I cannot displace the rightful one. You will find her +in the library." + +Lilian went slowly down. The beautiful woman she had seen in church, the +woman who had lain like dead when Mrs. Boyd glanced upon her, the mother +who had missed her all these years! The tall figure rose with the +softness of a cloud longing to embrace the moon, with arms outstretched, +and the child went to them in the caress of divine satisfaction. For +this was the mother of her dreams and ideals, and their souls were as +one. + +They kissed away each other's tears. + +"I felt that I _must_ come, that I _must_ see you. But I am not going to +take you away, much as I long for you, since you have a sacred duty +here. When that is finished we will begin our lives together. At first, +your father was mad with jealousy that _she_ should have dared to love +you so much, but now he is glad as I am that you did not suffer from +coldness or indifference. That would have broken my heart." + +"And I am afraid I did not always return love for love. I was always +dreaming, desiring something I had not. She worked for me all those +early years. I had resolved as soon as was possible to be her caretaker, +to put in her life the things she desired, whether they pleased me or +not. It did not take much to make her happy." + +"And no man can understand the longing of a woman's soul when her child +has been torn from her arms. Poor empty arms, that no prayer can fill. +And this was why she snatched at the baby, believing it was motherless. +Yes, I forgave her and so did he when he came to look at it in the true +light. Some women, when times pressed hard in work and poverty, would +have placed you in an institution----" + +"Oh, I think she would have starved first!" interrupted the girl, +vehemently. + +"And now, if God grants it, we may have a long, satisfying life +together. For He has given me back my health like a miracle, as we had +thought it could never be, and were quite resigned. And now He has +restored all that we missed, given us the oil of joy for mourning. Oh, +child, let me look at you. As a baby you were so different from Zaidee, +it hardly seemed as if you could be twins; and you are taller, yes, you +are more like Willard. But you have my eyes, and I never was fairy-like. +Oh, I hope you girls will love each other, and I want you to love me +with all your heart to make up for those years that have fallen out of +our lives." + +The exquisitely soft, silvery laugh was music to the girl's heart. Yes, +this was the ideal mother. Was there some secret quality in heredity, +after all? + +They talked on and on. She wanted to hear more particulars of her +daughter's life, but Lilian softened some of the roughest places, the +fights she had had with herself, when she felt she must give up her +cherished school, the pleasure of coming to an atmosphere like this, the +warm interest of Mrs. Barrington. + +"And now I must leave you," said the mother, "but I take with me a +delightful hope. When your duty is done here, and I appreciate your +doing it, you will find your true home in my heart and my home. Oh, I +think you will never be able to understand all my joy." + +She rose and wiped away her tears. Yes, she was beautiful enough to +adore. Her own mother! It thrilled every pulse. + +"Oh, my dear, let us both thank God for this restoration. It is like a +heavenly dream. I must have time to get used to it." + +Lilian watched her as she stepped into the phæton, with its handsome +bays and the silver mountings. And Zaidee could have every wish +gratified; friends, music, travel. It was there for her, also. She had +never dreamed of that. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +A MOTHER'S LOVE + + +Mrs. Boyd had not stirred. Lilian bent over her and found the breathing +very faint. Miss Arran sat by the window and merely glanced up. The girl +buried her face in the pillow and heard again the soft, finely modulated +voice, the clasp of the hand that meant so much, the promise for +tomorrow. + +"If they were not so rich," her musings ran, "If I could do something +for her. Oh, it seems too much. If we could go away--but to face all the +girls, to hear the comments." + +"Miss Boyd, can you spare me a few moments," said Mrs. Dane. "Mrs. Arran +will watch." + +Lilian followed to Mrs. Dane's room. + +"Miss Boyd, I have an apology to make to you, and I am honest enough to +confess it. I can't just tell why, but I did take a dislike to you and +your mother. She seemed very weak and as if she was afraid a baleful +secret might come to light, and you were the master mind holding some +curious power over her." + +"Oh, it was not that," cried Lilian, eagerly. "It was because in her +simple life she had not been accustomed to the usages that obtained in +the larger world. Often I did guide her a little. She was very timid." + +"And it seemed to me--of course I understand it now, that you held your +head quite too high for your mother's daughter. I was brought up to do +my duty in that station of life to which it should please God to call +me, and not try to get out of it. You seemed above it--somehow----" + +"Oh, did I act that way? I was only trying to do _my_ duty to the +classes and to Mrs. Barrington. I did not mean to seem above my +station," and there was sob in her voice. + +"My dear, don't cry. My apology would not be worth half so much if I +held back part of the price. I think I was a little jealous of Mrs. +Barrington's favor for you, as I had a curious suspicion that something +not quite orthodox might come out about you, that you really were not +her child. You see I was not so far out of the way after all, and that +evening I accused you of having gone to the Clairvoyants--we had just +heard the death was from malignant scarlet fever. It would have ruined +the school for a long while to have it break out here, you know. If the +person had come out in the open so that I could have seen, but her +darting back, and I think there was more than one. It seems even now as +if it did look like you, but it might have been because it was like the +Tam you wore. And you appeared so embarrassed over it." + +"Oh, could you believe that I would have told such a falsehood?" she +cried, hurt to the very quick. + +"We thought it best to take precautions. Then Mrs. Boyd had her stroke +and then came her confession and all that has happened since. Your +devotion to that poor woman was enough to stamp the nobleness of your +character, and it is not because you are Major Crawford's daughter that +I say this--that I am ashamed of my prejudices and beg you to forgive +me. Mrs. Barrington was right from the beginning and you are worthy of +the best of fortune." + +"Oh, Mrs. Dane--" and her voice broke. + +"I should have felt myself contemptible if I had not made this amends, +and now if you will shake hands with me----" + +"Gladly. And I thank you for the kindliness towards my--yes, she _was_ +my mother all these years and the sympathy you showed me even before it +was proved who my real father was." + +"And I wish you much joy and happiness, which you will surely have. And +you will be fitted to grace any position. You will have one of the +loveliest of women for a mother, and two brothers who, so far, have been +most exemplary. And that darling, Zay--the whole town loves her." + +Lilian wiped her eyes, and pressed Mrs. Dane's hand fervently. Would Zay +proffer her a sister's love? + +She went back to Mrs. Boyd, who suddenly opened her eyes and smiled, +then the thin lids fell. How she had wasted away! She tried to recount +to herself all the kindnesses, the sacrifices Mrs. Boyd had made. And +though the boarding house had been of the commonest sort there had never +seemed any real pinches. She had even saved up money. It was the long +illness and the changes incident to it that had not only reduced their +little store, but broken her health and made her fearful of the future. +She had taken up the sewing then. Four years there had been of that. +Lilian remembered how proud she had been to enter the High School among +the best scholars. + +And some day she would teach. It was such a delightful vision. She +studied other things beside the ordinary lessons. She loved to play and +at times when she had turned her brain almost upside down she ran out +and had a game of tag with the girls. + +There were other evenings when she overcast long seams and pulled +bastings, and the last year she had learned to sew on the machine. With +scanty living and steady work, her mother had dropped down and down. But +she was glad she had offered to go in the shop. When matters were a +little easier she might try night school she had thought. + +And this beautiful school was like an entrance into a land of romance. +The luxurious living, at least it seemed so to her, would soon restore +her mother's health. The duties were light. She had time for reading and +oh, the lovely things! She did at times wish there had been some other +position for her mother, like that of Miss Arran's. But she understood +that Mrs. Boyd could not fill that. She lacked something, she had no +real dignity, no self-assertion. She allowed the girls to order her, and +Lilian wondered how these rich girls, who in some respects had polished +manners, could be so ill bred. For somehow she understood the +difference. + +There were several with whom she might have been good friends, but she +was too proud to step outside of what she considered her real station. + +And now this wonderful event had come to her and she seemed to +understand the thoughts and feelings that had been such a mystery. When +she had been clasped to her true mother's heart, it appeared to her as +if a veil had been drawn aside, and she had stepped into a larger room, +replete with all she had vaguely dreamed about. That Crawford House was +one of the fine old places, she knew, but she never thought of that +luxurious living where all the tomorrows had been provided for. She +would have gone to the simplest cottage for that mother's love. + +Would Zaidee Crawford give her a sister's warm welcome? She would never +grudge her anything money could buy; but she, Lilian, must seem like an +interloper to them. And to share her mother's love with a stranger! + +Miss Arran entered the room. + +"You ought to go to bed, Miss Boyd. I will sit here and watch. Your +mother seems asleep." + +Lilian changed her dress for a comfortable wrapper, kissed her mother's +forehead and pressed the cold hands. She did not stir; but then she had +lain this way for hours at a time. The girl drew up her cot to the side +of her mother's bed and laid down. The clocks all about were striking +midnight. + +It had not been so tranquil at Crawford House. Dinner had been rather +quiet; no one seemingly to want to talk at any length. Afterward, Major +Crawford had said-- + +"Let us all go up to mother's room. I have a singular explanation to +make to you two children. Aunt Kate has known it these two days." + +"There has seemed something mysterious in the air," exclaimed Willard, +"only I am sure nothing worse has happened to mother. She looks so +extraordinarily happy, and Zay is about again." + +"We must go back to the time of the accident," began the Major. "We +thought we had overlived the sorrow and we had never expected any joy +for the outcome." + +He paused to steady his voice, then began the story of the other woman, +the only passenger who carried an infant, her hours of unconsciousness, +her hearing the cry of the child and claiming it and then learning that +the woman she believed its mother had been killed and full of pity for +it, since her own had been mangled and carried away, resolved to take it +and care for it. She left the next day-- + +"Oh, you don't mean she took our baby," cried Willard passionately, his +eyes aflame. + +"She took our baby. She has cared for it all these years through poverty +and failing health and now that she is dying, she thought the child +ought to know. They have been at Mrs. Barrington's since some time in +August." + +Zaidee sprang up, but her face was ghostly pale and there was a +tremulous protest in her voice. + +"Oh, it is that Mrs. Boyd, the caretaker and her daughter!" she +exclaimed, drawing a long strangling breath full of protest. + +"Our daughter," said her father with emphasis. Then he went on to relate +how the matter had been brought to his notice and his unreasonable anger +at first as he could not doubt the story vouched for by Doctor +Kendricks, his interview with the child and Mrs. Barrington, Mrs. +Crawford's visit to her yesterday. + +"What a wonderful story!" Willard sprang up and began to pace the +floor. "I suppose it _is_ true. That baby couldn't have died and she +adopted another one." + +"How do we know that she did not?" said Miss Crawford, protestingly. + +"She was anxious that the girl in some manner might find her father's +people. You see, she was sure the mother was dead. Oh, there is enough +to convince you all. Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith have no doubt of the +truth of her story. There is no scheme in it. And it was thought best, +in her weakened state, not to try any explanations." + +"It was nurse Jane who died, and the dead baby was buried with her. Ah, +one glance at the girl would convince you," said the mother in the +tenderest voice. + +"But--why didn't she come here at once?" + +"She was very noble about it. And this is another factor in the story. +She would not leave the mother who had worked and toiled for her; so you +see she was not tempted by the thought of advancement. She was afraid to +believe the outcome of the story at first. Oh, I am proud of her, though +at first I was really cruel. I wanted the woman punished." + +"After all," said Willard, "if the baby had been friendless and an +orphan it would have been very noble in her." + +"You shall read her confession some day. It is pathetic. She thought +she had lost her all and clung to the baby. Oh, we must all forgive +her." + +"And what do you mean to do?" asked Miss Crawford. "It is going to make +a great stir for it cannot be kept a secret, and I hate gossip about +families." + +"Yes, the thing must be explained. I have given what of the story I want +known to a reporter this afternoon. After the poor woman has gone, +Marguerite will come here to her true home and life." + +"Why, Zay, you must have known her at the school," said Willard. "It +seems she was studying----" + +"Oh, they are all on the other side away from the boarders. She was in +the study room an hour in the evening, with the smaller girls. We were +all at a different table that we had to ourselves. And--somehow, I never +saw much of her. I didn't have to go to Mrs. Boyd for my mending." + +Aunt Kate had put her arm about Zay at the beginning of the story. The +mother noted with a pang that there was no real welcome in this +daughter's face. Was it jealousy? + +Willard stood between his parents and laid a hand on the shoulder of +each. + +"Oh," in a voice freighted with emotion. "I can't tell you how glad and +thankful I am that this sorrow of years is to be turned into such a +great all-pervading joy. We will be a perfect family again. Why, it will +be the romance of our lives! It almost makes me wish I were not going +away. And since you have seen her and are satisfied--mother----" + +He stooped to kiss her. + +"Oh," she returned, brokenly, "I want you all to love her, and be +patient with Zay. She has always been first so long." + +"I think if I was a girl I'd be wild to have a sister to tell things +to--the little things a fellow tells his sweetheart, I suppose, when he +has one," laughing. "Vin and I discuss our gettings along and our hopes +and some funny scrapes that boys get into. But girls look at the +romantic side. And you can't think--but _I'm_ proud of this romance. +Why, it will be something to tell over to our children, and father's +been a trump, but I think it's a good deal owing to you. Oh, I hope +_she_ is like you." + +The mother smiled as she kissed him. + +Zay came to say good-night. Her face had grave lines that were not wont +to be there. + +"Oh, my darling," the mother said, "this is one of the things that +cannot make any difference in our love for you. And if you could only +understand the burthen it had lifted off my soul. A hundred times I have +said: 'Oh, why did I take baby Marguerite on that journey?' She was so +strong and well and I was so proud of her, I wanted your father to see +her." + +"And you will be proud of her again. She is going to be a fine scholar, +and I'm just pretty to look at, that's all! I can't make myself love +anyone all in a moment," and she gave a little sob. + +"My child, the love will come if you do not steel your heart against it. +Think, Zay, a twin sister----" + +"But she is larger, different and a sort of story heroine. Everyone will +be interested in her and I shall be pushed quite to the wall." + +"Oh, Zay, you are a foolish little girl. But you have had all the +admiration and love, and we must wait patiently until you understand +that love can never be impoverished by giving. Think of this, pray for a +generous heart, and let her love you." + +Aunt Kate was waiting in her room. And Zay's overcharged heart gave way +to a passion of weeping on the friendly bosom. + +"Dear, I know how hard it is to be crowded out. Of course everyone will +flock around her for a while and never having had much admiration she +will be the more eager for it. And as will be perfectly natural when the +first interest is worn off, the real grain will be apparent and I dare +say she will show her common breeding. Why, this Mrs. Boyd had next to +no education. I shouldn't want anyone to see that so-called confession, +but I dare say your father will keep it close enough, for he would be +ashamed to have any one see it. I'm sorry the story had to get abroad, +but your father thought there would be so many surmises, and perhaps, +exaggerations. It's a horrid thing to live through, but your mother is +so much happier. Why, she seemed ten years younger. And you will always +have a staunch friend in me. No one can oust you from my heart if she +had all the gifts of the nine graces. Oh, you will come back to your +rightful place, never fear." + +But Zay wept herself to sleep with an ache in her heart that crowded out +all tender feelings. + +After a long while Lilian Boyd fell asleep and there came no +disturbance. Just at daylight Miss Arran leaned over the bed and touched +the cold face, felt for the heart. There was not the faintest motion. +There had not been a sound or a sigh, she had just lapsed into her +dreamless sleep. She summoned Mrs. Dane. + +"It is much better so. There will be nothing painful to remember," said +that lady. + +"Mother, mother!" and Lilian roused suddenly. + +"My dear," said Miss Arran, "she has gone to her rest in the most +peaceful manner. The doctor said it might be so, and you have done your +full duty. My dear, you can go to your own mother's arms with the +clearest conscience. I am glad, we are all glad that you elected to +stay, though your father, in his first indignation, would have swept you +away. I hardly see how you won your way. Come to Mrs. Dane's room and +have a cup of coffee." + +She gave one long look at the still face. Oh, how thin and worn it was, +yet there was a certain peacefulness that comforted the girl. Mrs. +Harrington came in and kissed her tenderly. "It is all as we would have +it," she said. "And whatever mistake Mrs. Boyd might have made must be +balanced by the thought that if there had been no one, as she believed, +she would have taken you to her heart just as gladly, done for you with +the same cheerfulness. This is what she did; you must always keep it in +mind. And now--can you help make some arrangements? Whatever money is +needed----" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, I think there will be enough. She still had some +of her insurance money that she had used only in emergencies. And we +have needed so little here. Oh, you have all been so kind," in her +grateful, broken voice. + +Then Dr. Kendricks was announced. + +"I supposed it would be that way," he said. + +"Shall I make arrangements for the funeral. There is no one, I +suppose----" + +"It is too far away from her old friends for any of them to come, and I +am sure Lilian would like it as simple and quiet as possible. I should +say tomorrow morning. No one will go out of curiosity." + +"Then I will see about it at once. The Major is all impatience to have +his daughter." + +"You must come and share my room," Mrs. Barrington said to Lilian. + +"Oh, she really doesn't seem any different to me," the girl returned. +"She has slept so much the last few days, and it is what we have +expected. God has taken her in His keeping and she will have those +belonging to her. It is a blessed thought." + +She sat reading by the window when the Crawford phæton drove up. Her +first feeling was that she could not meet her father. But a young man +sprang out and the coachman took charge of the horses. + +"It is your brother," announced Mrs. Barrington. "Oh, do try and see +him. Your mother wishes it so much." + +Lilian went down and was clasped to her mother's heart and held there +many seconds. + +"This is your brother Willard, who is soon to leave for Washington and +he begged so much to see a little of you. His will be a three years' +cruise, and I am doubly glad to have found another child in view of his +long absence." + +Lilian glanced up. It was such a frank, kindly face, too young yet for +any of his father's sternness. + +"Oh, my dear, I wonder if you will ever understand how precious you are +going to be to us all. It is like one raised from the dead. I shall go +away with a lighter heart, seeing that mother and father have you. We +boys have been so much to the house with our stirring interests; now it +will be you and Zaidee. I shall think of you so often. Why, I can +readily believe any fairy story, and it almost breaks father's heart +that you have been so near all these months and none of us known it. You +will not feel hurt if he sometimes should show a little--" he paused +with a flush. "For after all it might have been her child who was +saved----" and she felt the shiver go over him. + +"And to know that you were loved all these years," said the mother +holding out her arms, and both children went to them. "And that you +never really suffered for anything. Sometimes I hardly dare believe in +and accept this great blessing." + +"Oh, I hope I will prove a blessing," Lilian said, with a great tremble +in her voice. "You are so good to take me in, to love and trust me, +knowing so little about me." + +For of late she had been learning how much children could be to parents. + +"But I think Mrs. Barrington had opportunities of knowing," returned her +mother with a warm pressure, and fond smile. + +Willard had been studying her. "There's something about her like you, +mother, and something that recalls Vincent. Oh, won't he be surprised! +He will want to fly home again. Oh, you will not mind if Zaidee carries +off the family beauty. She is such a dear! And we ought to have one +star of the goodly Crawford family." + +"I am glad, and I thought her lovely at the first glance. Why, the girls +are quite wild about her. I shall not mind anything so long as you all +love me. Oh, I will try to deserve it." + +There were tears in her eyes and her mother kissed her tenderly. Then +they talked about her coming home which could not be until her whole +duty was performed and there was no omission to think of. + +Yet they went lingeringly, loth to leave her. + +"She has a great deal of character;" said Willard. "She seems more +mature than Zay. I am glad they are not alike, though it seems rather +out of the order for twins. Oh, mother, I can foresee that she will be a +great deal to _you_ in a womanly way. We can never thank God enough for +her." + +"And all these years, amid the suffering, I have always thought if I had +left my darling at home. I was so proud of her I wanted your father to +see her. Zaidee was not such a fine looking baby. We had both so +ardently desired a daughter; indeed we had often said two boys and two +girls was an ideal family." + +"And I wouldn't give up Vin--boys have a delightful interest in each +others' lives and doings. I suppose sisters feel the same way. That +is--well, it will be a little strange at first. Zay has been our queen +so long, and it can't be quite like living together from infancy." + +"No. So we must make allowance for both of them until they reach the +true level of birthright. Marguerite is very proud and has unusually +well defined ideas of duty, while we have never put anything but love +before Zay. I expect we have spoiled her." + +Mount Morris was startled in the midst of its Christmas festivities by +the remarkable announcement that Marguerite, the twin baby of Major and +Mrs. Crawford, had been miraculously saved from the wreck, where the +nurse and several others had perished. Another passenger whose baby had +been killed, thinking the nurse was the true mother of the child, had +taken it to her heart out of pity for the helpless little creature, and +gone farther westward before real inquiries could be made as to whether +there were any relatives living. + +Mrs. Crawford had insisted upon softening what her husband had +considered a crime on the part of Mrs. Boyd. + +"Think how she must have loved the little creature she thought +friendless, to burden herself with it. And I am so thankful _my_ baby +found loving care. Why, she might have perished with neglect through +that dreadful time. We can do nothing for her and we will not, must not, +traduce her motives, when they were prompted by an overwhelming love." + +So it was represented that Mrs. Boyd had taken the position at Mrs. +Barrington's that her adopted child might be better educated as her own +health was failing, which after all was the truth, though Lilian's +pleading had been a special factor. + +The poor woman's burial had been quiet, in the early morning. Mrs. +Barrington and Miss Arran had gone with Lilian whose great regret had +been that there was not sufficient money to send her to Laconia to sleep +beside her husband and her little son, but she gave thanks that there +was no need of benevolence though Mrs. Barrington had insisted she +should supply any need. + +She had begged that she might be left at the school over Sunday, and +Mrs. Crawford found herself so shaken by all the excitement that she +assented the more readily. Zaidee was quite well again and laughed at +herself for having been so easily alarmed. There had been no cases of +illness in the town and the clairvoyant had taken her family to a city +at some distance. + +"It really would be the part of wisdom to go to the city if you felt +well enough," Aunt Kate said to her sister-in-law. "Of course there will +be a good deal of talk, and it is but natural that our friends should +desire to see the new daughter of the house. It is a most excellent +thing that Dr. Kendricks has been mixed up with it all and can vouch for +the truth. And the child might get some training to fit her for her new +position." + +"Mrs. Barrington has had her in training for some time, and from the +very first was attracted by her natural grace and dignity; and her +strength of character," was the reply, "and her father found +resemblances to me in the first interview!" + +"But the years before would naturally leave some impress. Mrs. Boyd, it +seems, had not much education, and they must have lived in the commoner +streets with all kinds of people. I feel something as brother does, that +I can hardly forgive her for robbing the child of her natural +birthright and subjecting her to plebian surroundings." + +Mrs. Crawford winced and flushed a little. Her last remembrance of the +smiling, cooing baby, bright eyed and full of health and sweetness, +never faded from her mind, and she fancied now she should have the same +instinctive impressions that had puzzled Mrs. Barrington. Aunt Kate +might be rather captious at first, but she could pardon it and +understand it as well, for she had been a most devoted mother to Zaidee. + +Then, too, school would begin so soon and all these little breaks would +bring about the finer claims of relationship. + +No one went to church on Sunday. Mrs. Crawford was not quite up to the +mark, and Aunt Kate declared she could not face the curious eyes or +answer a question. The Major longed to go over to Mrs. Barrington's but +some feeling of delicacy restrained him. + +Lilian had come home from the lonely burial like one in a strange dream. +The brief illness, the excitement of the confession, the quiet passing +out of existence had transpired so rapidly that she could hardly make it +real. She almost expected to find Mrs. Boyd lying there on the bed when +she entered the room. She felt that Mrs. Boyd had never taken root at +Mount Morris; she smiled sadly thinking of Mrs. Dane's suspicions that +there was some secret between them, that she, Lilian, was afraid would +come to light. But she had never in her wildest moments dreamed of the +truth. Mrs. Boyd had all the limitation of a commonplace nature, sweet, +devoted, with no lofty aspirations. The refinements of Barrington House +wore upon her. She did try, for Lilian's sake, to adapt herself to some +of them but the effort was plainly visible to practiced eyes. If she had +lived--but then the confession would hardly have been made. For, with +all the unlikeness, Lilian had never suspected the truth. + +Oh, why had not God given this poor starved life its rightful +surroundings? If Mrs. Boyd had lived! If there had been a number of +merry, satisfied children going cheerfully to work in shops and +factories when school days were over, having lovers, marrying and +repeating their mother's life! For the world was full of ordinary happy +people with no high ideals. Was there something in heredity? + +No, she could not have been content with that destiny. She must have +worked and striven for a higher round, for some intellectual +advancement. Yet, how many of these girls at school really cared for it +with all their advantages? It was not mere money that inspired one, and +she almost wished she were not going in that upper atmosphere. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +GOING OUT OF THE OLD LIFE + + +Lilian had seen very little of her friend, Miss Trenham, through the +week, though every day she had been the recipient of a note of sympathy +and affection. She came in on Saturday afternoon. + +"My dear girl," she began, "so many unusual events have happened to you +that one must needs use both congratulations and condolences. I saw the +newspaper account and it seems like the finger of Providence that you +should have been directed hither and to the arms of your real parents. +Mrs. Boyd looked very poorly the last time I saw her, a month or so ago. +I suppose there is a great deal back of the account----" + +"I have wanted to see you so," returned Lilian. "I thought I would come +to the Chapel tomorrow morning. You are the only friend I have made +outside of the school, but Mrs. Barrington has been so sweet and +generous. She had planned to keep me here after mother was gone and +educate me." + +The tears stood in Lilian's eyes and her voice broke with emotion. + +"There is so much to talk over, and we have gone to our own home now. +Mother and I have been very busy the last four days cleaning and putting +things in order. We spent our Christmas at Mrs. Lane's and had a really +delightful time. We had planned some time ago to have you share it with +us, and now can you not spare us Sunday, if you are not going----" + +"The change is to be made on Monday. Oh, Miss Trenham--I can hardly +describe my feelings. I dread it and yet my own mother is an ideal +mother. I hardly dare think of the happiness in store for me, but I +shall go on here at school. I am glad of that. I could not give up my +dear Mrs. Barrington." + +"We want to hear all the story--your side," smiling gravely. "So if you +can come and dine with us on Sunday. Oh, there are so many +explanations." + +"I will see. Excuse me a few moments." Lilian came back with a heartsome +expression. + +"Yes, I can come. I wanted to go to the Chapel in the morning. I suppose +some of my life, at least, will be changed----" + +"Yes, but it will be--yes, lovely and advantageous. I never thought +Mrs. Boyd quite the right mother for you, if you will allow me to say +it." + +Lilian flushed. "But she loved me with her whole soul. She would have +made any sacrifice to advance me. All these years she has cared for me, +worked for me and I should be an ingrate to forget it. If she had lived +and this had not come, I was planning to work for her----" + +"I think you would, without a demur. You would have had an excellent +friend in Mrs. Barrington, but it will be a much wider life, I am very +glad for you. There are people for whom prosperity does very little. You +will not be one of that kind. In spite of her misfortune your mother has +always had a wide and lovely influence, and the home is said to be very +attractive. I think all of Mount Morris rejoiced truly in her +restoration to health, and you will have some of the best of her life. +You will soon learn the sweet lesson of loving her." + +"My heart went out to her the Sunday I saw her in church. She looked to +me like a saint, and I did not know then, but I have felt bewildered +since. And I have been so used to planning to do something for--for the +one who has gone, that I feel kind of helpless, knowing I can do nothing +for her." + +"Oh, yes, you can give her a daughter's choicest love. I am quite sure +you two will grow into finest accord, and two manly brothers and that +lovely Zaidee! Oh, it will be a most absorbing life. You will be in the +sphere just fitted for you. Perhaps God let it all happen that your +character should be the more fully shaped by the experience. We will +talk it over more, at length, tomorrow." + +Miss Trenham rose and kissed the young girl tenderly, knowing that tears +were very near the surface. After she had gone Lilian gave way to them. +She had not the easily adaptive nature to go in her new home and take +the best at once, though it had been held out with such winning +tenderness. The beautiful face of Zaidee instead of adding a radiance +seemed to shadow the path. She could not explain it to herself; she +would not think her sister would grudge her anything, but she felt in +her inmost heart it would not be given generously. She must win it by +large patience. + +Sunday was a perfect winter day with a gorgeous sunshine and a crisp air +that seemed to bring refreshment in every waft. The leafless trees were +penciled against the blue sky like the lines of a fine engraving. The +church bells rang out their reverent inspiration, they were harmoniously +toned and there was no jangling. Lilian wondered a little--were her +parents and the two children at home kneeling in the old church where +the Crawfords had worshiped for a hundred years or more? Did they offer +a little prayer for her? + +The father and mother said it at home. He was all impatience for the day +to pass. + +Oh, how delightful Mrs. Trenham's warm welcome was, and little Claire +clasped both slim arms about Lilian's neck and kissed the cool rosy +cheek over and over again. If her sister was little and fond like that! + +"It's been such a long, long while since you were here. Of course you +couldn't come while we were away. It was very nice at Mrs. Lane's; there +were so many people to make merry. You can't be truly merry alone by +yourself, can you? It's like bells ringing. You can be happy thinking of +many things, but not merry." + +Lilian smiled. Yes, the conceit was true. + +Then she must inspect Claire's Christmas gifts. Her own had been a +pretty booklet that one of the girls had given her in a perfunctory +fashion that carried no real regard with it. She had been too full of +anxiety to look up anything. + +"And that lady that came here once who wasn't your real mother went +away, didn't she? And Edith said you had a real mother now and you were +going to live with her and not stay at school all the time. I wish I +could go to school. Edith said sometime she might have a school in our +own house, and I might come and say lessons with other little girls. +That will be so nice. I think that will be merry." + +Then they were summoned to dinner, and the elders took the lead in the +conversation, expressing their surprise at the strange event they had +seen in the paper, and as they lingered over the dessert Lilian told her +own story that she had believed in devoutly until Mrs. Boyd had +explained her adoption, hoping thereby Lilian might trace her +parentage--though Mrs. Boyd supposed only her father could be found. +Mrs. Barrington had supplied the other side. + +"I suppose there is a certain kind of gratification in belonging to an +old and respected family. Major Crawford's family could go back even of +their first settling in America, and the madam was a proud old +Virginian with a fortune, but she wanted only one son, and she had three +and one daughter. All her love and pride was in her first born who was +indulged in every thing and led a gay life. The youngest died, Everard +went to West Point and entered the regular army. Reginald took the best +of life and became a capricious invalid, as penurious as he had been +wasteful before, and died about the time of the accident. The madam had +been dead some years. So all of Crawford House and its belongings came +to the Major, who had married one of the loveliest of girls. You have +heard that part of the story from Mrs. Barrington, doubtless. She was +one of the earlier scholars." + +"Yes," replied Lilian. "She admires her, beside loving her for the +bravery with which, she bore the dreadful accident." + +"I think when the word came, if prayers could have availed for the +safety of the child, the whole town would have prayed, and to think that +God should have saved you and restored you in this strange manner." + +Edith glanced across the table. Lilian's eyes were suffused with tears. + +"Miss Crawford had looked after the house, as the mother spent much of +the time in the city with Reginald. She was very fond of gayeties, and +her sudden death was a great surprise for she seemed vigorous enough to +round out the century. Miss Kate took charge of little Zay while her +mother was on the journey and through those years spent in hospitals and +sanitoriums. She has been most devoted, refusing several good offers of +marriage, but I suppose Mrs. Barrington has told you most of the family +history." + +"She is very fond of my mother and her girl life, her early married life +as well, and she fancied at the very first that I resembled some one she +had known." + +"There is something in the poise of the head and the shape of your chest +and shoulders, that is like her, and it won't hurt you if I say she was +an extremely handsome girl. Even Reginald admitted that." + +"And I am not handsome," Lilian said bravely, though with a little pang. +It had never mattered to her before. Then she turned scarlet and added +with an embarrassed laugh: "That sounds like what the girls call fishing +for compliments. Zaidee will be the family beauty." + +"And you have a voice, that with the proper training, may be very fine, +indeed. I noticed it this morning in the hymn." + +"Oh, do you think so? I love to sing," and her face was a-light with +pleasure. "But it seems to me that it isn't, well--neither alto nor +soprano; I can't keep it to a true sound." + +"It is a contralto and has some most expressive notes in it. Of course, +you will be trained in music." + +"Mrs. Barrington spoke of it in the next term. Some of the girls sing +beautifully. I was to take up several new studies. Oh, there are so many +splendid things to learn." + +Her face was aglow with enthusiasm and gave promise of something finer +than mere beauty. There had been a good deal of repression in her life +since she had come to understand, in a measure, her own desires. She had +held them back because she did not want to make Mrs. Boyd unhappy with +the difference between them, when she saw that the elder woman was +making any effort to indulge her fancies, and during these months at +school had settled to a grave deportment, that she might better sustain +her authority. The lack of spontaneity had puzzled Mrs. Barrington, when +in some moments she caught the ardor and glow of an inward possibility. + +"I think you will be in the right place now," remarked Edith with a +smile. "One with a strong individuality at times surmounts adverse +circumstances, but when there are so many events to hamper, one does +lose courage and begins to question whether the effort and sacrifice +will pay for the late reward." + +"Oh, let me have Miss Lilian awhile," besought Claire. "I want her to +inspect my playhouse, while you and mother put away the dishes and +things." + +The playhouse was an old time cabinet with the doors taken off. One +shelf, the highest, was full of curiosities, the next of books, the +third left out and the dolls had it to themselves. There was a parlor in +one end, a sleeping room in the other and three pretty dolls were in +their chairs, ranged round a table, inspecting their Christmas gifts. + +"I wouldn't have any new dolls this time," she began, with a touch of +weariness in her voice. "For after all you can't make them real. I play +school with them. I read them stories. I dress them and take them out +riding, but I have to do the talking for them and sometimes it gets so +dull. There's too much make-believe. I shall be glad when summer comes +and there won't be any bad boys next door. What do you suppose God did +with them? They couldn't like heaven, you know, for there they have to +be good all the time. And there are so many beautiful things in summer. +The birds and the flowers and the trees waving about and the sky so full +of mysterious things. Great islands go sailing about and I wish I was on +one of them. I get so tired, sometimes. I don't suppose I'll ever have +any strong back and legs until I do get to heaven. But I'd like to go +about in this world. I want a fairy godmother; that is it." + +She gave a little laugh but there were tears in her eyes. + +"And you've found a fairy godmother, haven't you? She is real, too, and +lives in a beautiful big house and has a fairy child with golden curls. +Oh, I wonder if she would have been glad to have you if you had been all +bruised and broken and could never walk----" + +"Oh, don't," cried Lilian. Would they have been glad to have her? + +"Now, tell me about when you were a little girl and went to the stores +to buy things for your mother and played 'Ring around a rosy,' and 'Open +the gate as high as the sky.'" + +The child's voice and manner had changed like a flash. She liked +Lilian's make-believe stories in some moods; then she wanted real +children and their doings, children who wiped dishes and swept floors +while their mothers sewed or cared for a little baby in the cradle. And +the petty disputes, the spending of a penny in candy and dividing it +round. + +"They couldn't all have pennies I suppose," the child commented. + +"Their mothers were too poor," laughed Lilian, thinking how seldom she +had the pleasure of being a spendthrift. And if she were ever so rich +what could she do for Claire? + +So they talked on and on until Edith came and said a young gentleman had +called for Lilian--her brother. + +She went through to the parlor. Yes, it was Willard, bright and smiling +as if glad to see her. + +"But how did you know I was here?" she asked. + +"Oh, I was at Mrs. Barrington's, and we had a long talk about you. Then +she directed me. It is getting towards night and our beautiful day shows +symptoms of coming rain." + +Yes, it did. She had been so interested in Claire she had not noted the +change. + +"So I think you had better allow me to escort you home, at least--oh, I +wish it were to your real home. Think, what an evening we would have +together, and I've only three days more. I have to start Wednesday +evening and report on Thursday. Well, will you give me the pleasure?" + +He rose then, and bending over, kissed her. + +"I'd like you to meet my friends----" + +"Well--for a moment." + +Mrs. Trenham and Edith came in. + +"Just say a quiet good-bye to Claire," Edith whispered. "She is +curiously upset about something." + +The slim arms clung to Lilian. + +"Oh, will they let you come again? Edith said it would all be different +and your new mother would want you, and--and--" the child ended with a +sob. + +"Of course I shall come again, and again, little sweetheart," kissing +her. + +"Oh, what a pretty name! I love you." + +"And you will soon see me again." + +Willard stood with his hat in his hand in a waiting attitude, tall and +manly, the fine face marked by a certain pride of birth, of culture, and +the inherited grace of generations. The deep, outlooking eyes spoke of +strength of character with a vein of tenderness, and the smiling mouth +of affability. Yet it struck her that he did not seem to belong to the +plain little parlor and it almost appeared as if he dwarfed the two +women, a feeling she could not help resenting inwardly. + +They made their adieus in a friendly manner. Yes, the bright day had +settled to the threatening of storm. The air was heavy and murky and cut +with the promise of coming sleet. Willard drew the girl's hand through +his arm and they caught step. + +"I am glad you are going to be tall," he said. "You have all the +indications, the figure and the air. It runs in mother's line as well as +that of the Crawfords." + +"I am taller than--than your sister," rather hesitatingly. + +"Than _your_ sister, as well. Oh, Marguerite, I hope you two will come +to love each other dearly. Then there will be Vincent. We two boys have +been such chums." + +"It is strange to have a new name," she said slowly, yet it was more to +her fancy. + +"Do you like the old one better?" as if in a little doubt. + +"I didn't like it very much, and I remember when I rebelled against +Lily. It seemed such a sing-song king of a name. It's sweet and pretty, +too, Lilian Boyd gave it more character." + +"You were named for Mother, but father did not want them quite alike. +Her name was Margaret, and father used to say to her-- + + 'Oh, fair Margaret, + Oh, rare Margaret, + Where got you the name of strength and beauty?'" + +Would she be dearer to her father on account of her name? + +"And Zaidee?" she said, in a suggestive tone. + +"Oh, I believe it was from a story that had been a great favorite with +my mother, and it does just suit Zay. She is so light and airy and +butterfly-like. Why, she seems about two years younger than you. I'm +glad there isn't any puzzle about telling you apart. She's sweet and gay +and loving and I suppose we've all spoiled her. Aunt Kate thinks she's +the loveliest thing in the world, and she has just devoted her life to +the child. Aunt Kate is as good as gold, a stickler for some things and +she's always been splendid to mother. But she's great on family. She +can't cry _you_ down, because you belong to us." + +"But I've been on the other side all my life, and--" yes, she would say +this--"Mrs. Boyd's health was so broken that if it had not been for Mrs. +Barrington's kind offer I must have given up school and gone into a +factory; and began to repay her for her kindly care of me." + +She felt the curious sort of shrinking that passed over him. + +"But you didn't," he said, decisively. "And if she had let you +alone----" + +"But she was sure my mother was dead. Oh, nothing can ever make me +forget her tender, devoted love. I cannot bear to have her blamed." + +"But you must not dispute the matter with father. Let it all go since it +has turned out so fortunately. I love you for your courage in standing +by her, but there are many things you will learn--beliefs and usages of +society. I don't mean simply money. We Crawfords have no vulgarity with +a gold veneer; and, my dear girl, you may tell all your life with Mrs. +Boyd over to mother, indeed, I think she will want to know it all; +but--be careful about Aunt Kate--" + +"And I _was_ the caretaker's daughter at Mrs. Barrington's. Oh, I have +seen some snobbishness among what you call well-born girls. I am not a +whit better or finer than I was a month ago, when I expected to work my +way up to a good salary and strive earnestly for everything I had; and +Mrs. Barrington would have helped me and been really proud of my +success." + +"What a spirit you have!" + +"I shall never be a snob," she flung out, proudly. + +"I do not intend to be one myself. Oh, don't let us dispute these +points. We all learn a good deal as we go along life. And, my dear, love +us all as truly as you loved your foster mother. Oh, I wonder if you can +ever understand your own mother's joy at having you back--" + +"Which she owes largely to Mrs. Boyd. Suppose she had died without +this--this explanation?" + +"Even she understood that you did not belong in her walk of life. She +saw the difference and that made her feel she might have deprived you of +something better, that she could not give you." + +That was true enough. But just now she was Lilian Boyd and angry, though +she could not satisfy herself that she had a perfect right to this +unreasonableness. So she made no reply. + +"Oh, Marguerite, don't be vexed with me. We shall not see each other for +a long while, and I want to carry away with me the knowledge that you +are very happy in your new home. You will have so many pleasures, +interests; you will be loved; oh, you must be loving, as well. Let the +past go as a strange dream." + +"It can never be a dream to me," she returned, decisively. "A thing you +have lived through is stamped on your brain. I would not, if I could, +dismiss it." + +"Then I think that other love and care will make as deep an impression +on your mind. Good-night, my dear sister, and best wishes for a happy +tomorrow." + +He kissed her fondly and turned away. She looked after him with a +swelling heart. + +When the door was opened, she flew up to her room and girl fashion, went +straight to the mirror. Generally she had very little color, now her +cheeks bloomed like roses and her eyes were brilliant, something more, a +light she had never seen in them; and, yes, her scarlet lips were shut, +with dimples in the corners. Then she laughed, half in anger, half in a +mood she had never known before, it was compounded of so many varieties. + +At Laconia, she had known several pretty school girls but they had +golden hair and lovely blue eyes. It was odd, but she had always liked +the word cerulean so much. And her eyes were almost black when anything +moved her deeply. She had not thought much of beauty applied to herself. + +"I am glad we don't look alike," she mused. "I am willing to be plainer, +and if I had some great gift--perhaps my voice might be cultivated. But +I mean never to be ashamed of that past life. Oh, what would Willard say +if he knew I had carried bundles back and forth and done errands for the +dressmaker! Well I must keep that part locked in my own heart. Poor +mamma Boyd, I'm glad you never understood the difference. I wish I had +loved you better." + +She bathed her face and took off her cloth dress, putting on one of some +light material Mrs. Barrington had given her awhile before. Then she +went down stairs just as the summons for dinner sounded. Mrs. Barrington +met her in the hall with a smile. + +"Did you have a nice day? And did your brother find you?" + +"Yes, I enjoyed it very much. And--we walked back together. He leaves on +Wednesday night." + +"And is very sorry to go. He is so interested in you. I wish he could +remain longer, but he has the true sailor heart." + +Lilian felt suddenly ashamed of her anger. Of course the whole family +must look at it from that point of view, which was not hers. And having +a brother was such a new thing to her. She had not been thrown much with +boys. Her books had been her dearest companions. + +They all went to the drawing room afterward and had a pleasant talk +about the day and its duties. It softened Lilian's heart strangely. +After that some almost divine music, it seemed to her, and her thoughts +were lifted above distracting reflections. + +The girls sang also. Several of them had very good voices but the best +singers were away. Lilian was not afraid tonight, but let her voice +swell out as she had in church this morning, and it surprised even +herself. + +When they said good-night to each other Mr. Barrington led her to her +own pretty sitting room. + +"I have hardly seen you today," she began, "and though your change will +not separate us altogether and is so immeasurably to your advantage, I +want you to know that I had some plans for your future revolving in my +mind. I meant to have matters on a different basis when we began the new +term. I did not think Mrs. Boyd would live through the winter, and as +you know, I promised to care for you. You will make a fine linguist, and +that is quite a gift for a woman. Then I have been interested in your +voice. You sang with much power and beauty tonight. It is not the +ordinary girlish voice." + +"Miss Trenham said it was a contralto. I don't know the difference +between that and an alto. Of course, I sang in school at Laconia, and +took quite a part in the closing exercises. But no one seemed to +think--and I couldn't manage it always--" pausing lest she might say too +much. + +"It wants cultivation, and I believe has some fine probabilities. I have +spoken to Mr. Reinhart about giving you private lessons in the new +term." + +"Oh, how good you are! I could almost wish----" and she clasped the hand +nearest her. + +"No, don't wish anything beyond what has happened. In spite of all the +love and tenderness lavished upon Mrs. Crawford, it was a continual +regret that she should have taken you on that ill-fated journey. +Charming as Zaidee is, she was always wondering what you would have +been like. I think you will not disappoint her. You have been in a +trying position for a girl of your ambition and temperament. I think you +might have accepted some proffers without much hurt to your pride, but +you know now you are on an equality with the best, and though many of +these distinctions are much to be regretted, we cannot change the world. +The change must be in ourselves, the grace and kindliness that shapes +the character to finer and higher issues. But if you had been Mrs. +Boyd's daughter, I think there would have been a very promising future +before you. I know you would have tried your utmost to succeed in the +two lines I have indicated; and now they will be accomplishments. Mrs. +Crawford was a fine linguist and has brightened many an hour with +intellectual pursuits. I am more than glad that you will be so +companionable, but I cannot give up my interest in you, and I want you +to feel that you will be, in part, a daughter to me." + +Lilian bent her head down on Mrs. Barrington's shoulder and cried +softly, touched to the inmost heart by the affection she had hardly +dreamed she had won. + +"There are no quite perfect lives even if there is a great deal of +love," the lady continued. "We learn to limit our wants and expectations +by what others have to give us, and it is by loving that we learn to +live truly, though many shrines get despoiled of ideals as we go along +in youth; but as we retrace our steps with years and experience we find +God has put something better in them. I want you to come to me with any +difficulty that can be confided outside of the family circle. But your +mother must be your best friend; and now, dear, good-night." + +Lilian returned the kiss, but her heart was too full for words. Tomorrow +she would belong somewhere else, have new duties. Oh, could she take +them up in the right spirit? + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +YOUR TRUE HOME + +Marguerite Crawford felt that she had been truly changed to some other +personality when the carriage stopped under the broad _porte cochere_, +and the driver opened the door with a bow for his master. There had been +a slight fall of snow in the night that had wrapped every post and every +tree in a mantle of jewels, and now the sun came out gorgeously, sending +golden rays over the dappled sky of blue and white. + +Her father handed her out. Willard ran down the wide steps taking both +her hands in his and kissing her fondly. A passion of regret flooded +her. + +"Oh," in a broken tone. "I was rude and ungenerous to you yesterday. I +am sorry--" + +"We will let that go, I knew you would regret it. I tried to look at it +from your point of view, and I think you couldn't resemble mother so +much in looks and not in character." + +Her father took her other arm. "Welcome home, my dear daughter," he +exclaimed. "All our years together will prove how glad we are to have +you." + +The hall was like a beautiful larger room, with pictures and statuary +and some elegant vases that would have dwarfed a smaller space. + +"This is my sister, Miss Crawford--Aunt Kate, to you always; who has +been like a mother to my children--" + +Aunt Kate bent over from her tallness and gave her a perfunctory kiss. +Zay clasped both arms around her. + +"Oh, isn't it queer," with a musical ripple. "You certainly were a +princess in disguise at school, and some of the girls said you were my +double to tease me; but I don't think we look very much alike; do you, +papa?" + +She raised her radiant face with the pearly complexion, bewitching mouth +and shining eyes. Marguerite looked rather pale and cold with the +strangeness. + +Then they went up to the mother's room, but Aunt Kate paused at the door +and turned in another direction. Zay and Willard followed her. +Marguerite went to her mother's arms and for many seconds neither spoke. + +"What a strange, long waiting without any hope," said the father at +length. "I have often thought what Marguerite would be like if she had +lived, and it always was impressed upon me that she would be like her +mother. If I could have wished it--" + +The child raised her head. The dark lashes were beaded with tears. + +"I am sorry not to be as beautiful," she said, with great humility. "I +must make up any deficiency by my love and devotion. Oh, it seems as if +I had gone into some divine country when love filled the very +atmosphere." + +She held out her hand to her father who crushed it in a tender clasp. + +"But you are looking pale and weary, mother." What a sweet word it was +to say when it was true. + +"I have had a great deal of excitement these last few days, then the +nurse had to go away to a more serious case, but I have tried to obey +her injunctions," smiling a little. "Probably I shall never be very +robust again, but nothing like this will try nerves. I think I have +stood it exceedingly well," glancing up at her husband. "I was very +quiet all day yesterday, but I could not help dreaming of the years to +come----" + +"I hope God will give me strength to make them happy. Oh, I want to give +you the best of love and service and never pain you by any lack. For you +_are_ the mother I have longed for, who could capture and fill my +desires. I would like to work for you----" + +"My dear, if you could be so devoted to the mother who was not your +ideal and could not understand your thoughts and feelings, I shall try +to come nearer and fill your whole heart, sympathize with your +aspirations. I shall be glad to listen to them. Oh, my child, if you had +been dull and coarse, but you simply could not have been, and this Mrs. +Boyd must have had a certain refinement. I appreciate her more every day +as I think it over." + +"Oh, I thank you for that. It seems to me that I must have been willful +at times; but I wanted to take her out of that narrow round as well as +myself. I felt so certain I could do it after we came to Mrs. +Barrington's. She understood my aims." + +"You fell into good hands. Oh, how many times we shall talk this over, +for I want to know all the incidents of these years we have been apart. +When I have lived them with you, I shall feel more truly still that I am +your mother. And now are you not a little curious about your new home?" + +Mrs. Crawford rose with her arm about the girl, and Marguerite glanced +about the room. It was exquisitely appointed. The second story rooms +were ranged about an oval that gave a picturesque aspect. This and the +sleeping rooms were toward the east; Mrs. Crawford had a passion for +sunrise. On one side was Zay's room, adjoining it Aunt Kate's. Opposite, +two guest rooms with bath and closets. It all seemed like some lovely +description she had read of in books. Her girl's heart and the refined +tastes that had been her birthright seemed to leap for joy. Was she +really to live amid all this loveliness! + +"We talked of your room on Friday. We couldn't take Zay away from Aunt +Kate to put you two together. Willard had this room next to my sitting +room, when he came home on vacations; sometimes, both boys; they are +very fond of each other. So he proposed his should be yours and had +everything taken out and the walls tinted afresh. But we couldn't order +new furniture at once, so we brought this from one of the guest +chambers. Some day you may choose for yourself. He took out the real +boys' pictures except 'Night and Morning' which are great favorites of +his and his two bookcases. In one he has left all his poets; at heart, +he is a rather romantic fellow. And the other you must fill up to your +liking." + +"Oh, how could he be so kind to me, when--" and Marguerite swallowed +over a great sob. + +"He is so glad for me. And he thinks it is truly a gift of Providence +that you should come, now that he is going away. Three years! Yet I have +waited so many years for these great blessings; prayed for them, if +one's ardent wish is a prayer." + +"Did you ever pray for me?" asked Marguerite in a low awed tone. + +"I prayed that if I died I should find you in that beautiful other +country. And sometimes I almost believed I should find you here. +Invalids have curious fancies almost like visions. Perhaps God gave me +the hope to enable me to endure the suffering and to be comparatively +well again and to have you--" + +There was the summons to luncheon. The Major came for his wife, Willard +met his sister in the hall. The dining room was perfectly appointed, +with stands of flowers and ferns that made almost a garden of it. A few +blossoms were laid beside each one's plate. The butler seated them +noiselessly. Aunt Kate was at the head of the table; she had kept the +place so long that Mrs. Crawford would not hear of any change. She sat +at the right of her husband, Marguerite at the left; Jay and Willard +were opposite. + +Marguerite _was_ nervous, but she did just as the others. She felt that +Aunt Kate's sharp eyes were upon her. Nearly always, she and her mother +had taken their meals together; on Sunday, specially invited to dine +with Mrs. Barrington and Miss Arran. Mrs. Boyd shrank from these +occasions but the girl seemed guiding her with an almost imperceptible +grace. + +And although the luncheon came in courses it was not ornate. Marguerite +began to feel quite at ease. There was some bright talk, but she did not +join that, only now and then answering when her father appealed to her. +But every moment she felt more at home. + +When they rose Willard took her arm. + +"You must examine your new home," he began, laughingly. "If you +shouldn't like it--" + +"I'd deserve to be banished to Laconia and live in an atmosphere of soot +and dust and all manner of noises," she answered, brightly. + +"This is the drawing room. In my grandmother's time they used to have +famous gatherings. Uncle Reginald was a great society man, and Aunt +Kate quite a belle, but the Madam as she was called, spent her money +lavishly. That was in her own right. Much of this furniture came from +abroad. But I will do her the justice to say that she did not despise +the old Crawford heirlooms that were handsome. Some of them are two +centuries old, when people loved to carve and ornament and never +compared their time with money. Uncle Reginald was very handsome in his +early days and her favorite. Father went to West Point." + +The room was certainly full of choice belongings. At the end, a full +length portrait of Madame Crawford, painted by a famous French artist +during one of her visits to Paris. The satin and velvet of her gown +looked real and her laces were magnificently done. She _was_ handsome +and set them off beautifully. A string of sapphires encircled her throat +and from it depended three pendants of diamonds so skilfully done that +in certain lights they emitted rays. A handsome woman, truly, but proud +and haughty. + +"She only wanted one son so that the Crawford estate need not be +divided. She was not in favor of large families, while father would +have been glad of at least half a dozen. So you may judge how delighted +he is to have you. This is the library. There is a small fortune in the +books. Great-grandfather Crawford was an eager collector. Father has +been offered big prices for some of the rare editions." + +At the farther end of the library there were wide glass doors that +opened into a conservatory, where the choicest flowers were kept, and +curious ferns. Just beyond was the propagating room and where the +tired-out bloomers were put for recuperation. + +Marguerite was speechless with admiration. She glanced up with a lovely +smile and her dark eyes were lustrous. "Oh," she murmured, with a long +sigh, "I never saw anything so lovely! And that I should have come here +to live--" + +"Our next door neighbors have quite as much beauty, only it is rather +more modern. But their conservatory is magnificent. Such a show of +orchids is unusual. But Mount Morris is a rather aristocratic place, +that is not wholly given over to fashion, but where people have lovely +things to enjoy and are not trying to distance each other unless it is +in the matter of choice flowers," and he laughed. "Mother is so fond of +them." + +She thought she could linger there all the remainder of the day, but +presently Willard turned and they retraced their steps. Major Crawford +stood in the hall. + +"Shall we go for our walk, Willard?" he asked. "I think mother would +like Marguerite." + +She made a pretty inclination of the head and went up stairs feeling as +if she was in fairyland. Mrs. Crawford lay on the lounge with a +beautiful Persian wrap thrown over her. + +"Will you come and read to me?" she asked in a winsome tone. "I want to +hear your voice in poetry; Mrs. Barrington said you were a fine reader. +I hope you love verse. The dainty little ones are a great pleasure to +me, fugitive verses, as they are called. They have soothed many a +painful hour." + +"Are you very tired?" Marguerite bent over and kissed her. + +"No, my dear, only this is part of my German doctor's regimen. He sent a +nurse home with me, and last week she went back to assist him with a +peculiar case; and I have certain directions to follow, which I obey, +implicitly. One is to take a rest after luncheon. Then, I like to be +read to. I am something of a spoiled child, you see." + +"I shall be glad to go on with the spoiling," the girl said in a sweet, +earnest tone. "I want to do all I can to make you happy--to make up for +the years when you did not have me." + +Marguerite's eyes were lustrous with deep feeling. Her words went to the +mother's heart. + +"Let me see--find 'In Memoriam.' How many times in the last few days I +have said over to myself: + + "If one should bring me this report + That thou hads't touched the land today, + And I went down unto the quay, + And found thee lying in the port," + +Marguerite took the beautifully bound volume in her hand and it gave her +a thrill. + +"Some poems are adapted to this or that one's voice, like songs. The +Major reads Browning and that is saved especially for him. Willard loves +Stevenson and Eugene Field's children's verses. Zaidee the light gay +caroling things, and those arch, sweet Irish poems. But your voice +sounded to me as if you loved Tennyson and Whittier." + +"I have not had the opportunity of reading Tennyson very much, but I +thought the Christmas verses most beautiful. I hope I shall please you," +hesitatingly. + +Mrs. Crawford listened attentively. There was a depth and richness in +the voice, an impressive, penetrating emotion that betrayed the harmony +with the lines. And when she had finished that poem, she said in a low +tone: + +"Shall I go on?" + +"Yes," replied the mother. + +It was so beautiful that Marguerite forgot herself in the poet's deep +feeling--so human, so comforting--she could have read on until dusk, but +Mrs. Crawford turned presently. + +"I must not tire you for I shall want you to read to me often. Do you +sing? I suppose you have not begun to play?" + +"No, Mrs. Barrington thought I would, in the new term. And she also +thought my voice was--" Marguerite paused, afraid of being too +presuming. + +"Worth cultivating, was not that what she said? It is a contralto that +can express profound depths of feeling. I had it years ago and your +father was wild over it. He will be delighted. Zay's voice is a light +soprano. She plays very well. Yes, you must take up music." + +"Oh, mother, it doesn't seem as if so many lovely things should come to +me!" + +"Why not, when you have been in the desert all these years?" + +They clasped each other in a fond embrace. Oh, was it really true that +she was a daughter of the house, that she had a right to the love and +care? Could she ever give enough to repay? + +There was a stir down stairs and some merry voices. Major Crawford +rejoined his wife presently. + +"The two Chichester girls to see if the children are sure to go to the +Van Ordens, though I think their eagerness is most for Will," laughing. +"His gay time will soon be over. Zay's as well. Next week school will +begin, and Marguerite must come under rules. The chief one is that there +is no frollicking until Friday evening, no holiday until Saturday." + +"Oh, I wish girls did not have to grow up so fast. Think how soon they +will be sixteen," bemoaned the mother. + +"I kept another birthday," said Marguerite. "I am glad to go back even +the few months." + +"You look as if you were beginning to feel at home," said her father. +"Oh, I hope we shall have many, many happy years together." + +Marguerite's heart was too full to reply. She looked at him with eyes +like her mother's, only they were a little deeper. + +Zay came flying up stairs. + +"Have I neglected you all the afternoon? We found a bad rent in my +pretty frock and Aunt Kate had to change the skirt. Then I wanted to +write some letters and the days are so short." + +She kissed her mother rapturously; then went and sat on her father's +knee. + +"And the Chichesters want us to dinner tomorrow and a little dance +afterward. It is Will's last nibble at pleasure. Oh, why didn't you make +him choose some real business, you naughty father, so he could have +stayed at home like a respectable citizen." + +"And had a sweetheart. Then what would you have done?" + +"Looked up a sweetheart also. Oh, must he go Wednesday night?" + +"Think what a nice long holiday he has had!" + +"And think of three desolate years!" + +"They may be more desolate for us than for him. But it was his choice." + +He entered the room just then. Had Marguerite found any special +entertainment? What had Zay been doing? + +"Oh, writing letters. Marguerite be glad you have not forty dear friends +who are crying write, write all the time." + +No there was only one person she had written to. That was Sally Weeks at +Laconia, and if Sally answered--well, she was lame on spelling, if she +had a good generous heart. + +Zay and her aunt had done something beside writing and mending the party +frock. They had discussed Marguerite. + +"Well," Aunt Kate had said with a long and rather unwilling accent, "she +might have been worse. Her table manners are passable. I do suppose she +has picked up a good deal at Mrs. Barrington's. But she has a rather +uncertain air, and we shall have to hunt her up some clothes. I must +talk to your mother about it." + +"Oh, dear, what a fuss there will be at school; I wish it was all over! +I do wonder what Louie Howe will say! We had some talks--well, I could +see how some of the girls felt." + +"I think that was very natural. I suppose she _was_ presuming." + +"No, she wasn't," returned Zay with heightened color. "I want to be +fair to her for she _is_ my sister. I think I'd rather be an only +daughter, but father will be just as fond of me, I am sure. I don't know +about the boys; but then Vincent won't be home until next summer. I +suppose we'll all go to West Point. Of course, I couldn't well have +stayed with mother this afternoon, so I don't mind her being there--" + +"Zay you are very generous and unsuspecting. I should be sorry to have +any influence undermine your love. You have been all to your mother." + +"But I can't be all now, I see that. Still I'll have you, aunt Kate, and +I won't give up my place in her heart. Oh, trust me to keep that." + +Aunt Kate was anxious for her favorite and though she did not mean to be +ungenerous, she could not so cordially rejoice. If the girl had been +awkward or underbred, she could have taken her in hand with a good +grace. But she was not likely to ask anything of her. + +Dinner was a rather more elaborate meal. It did seen odd to wait for +some one to help to the smallest thing and she wondered how Mrs. Boyd +would feel to have some one standing at her back and anticipating her +wishes before they were hardly formulated. But there was a certain +dignity and pleasure in it with no jar or awkwardness. How did she come +to take to it naturally? She did not seem to feel embarrassed, and how +lovely the room looked with the lights and the still hanging Christmas +greens. + +When Zaidee came in to wish her mother good-night, she did indeed look +like a fairy being. Her frock was some soft, diaphanous stuff over a +pale green slip, some of her curls were tied up high on her head and the +ribbon and that of her sash matched. Three strings of pearl beads were +about her white throat. Marguerite smiled to herself--Miss Nevins would +call that very poor party attire. + +"Don't stay late," Major Crawford said to his son. + +"Oh, we couldn't," declared Zay laughing. "It's a school girls' 'Small +and early.' We begin at eight and the musicians depart at ten and we go +to refreshments, and by eleven, + + "'The lights are fled the music dead, + And all of us departed.'" + +"That is just as it should be," declared aunt Kate, "if you wish to keep +roses and bright eyes for pleasure later on." + +Zay kissed her parents. Marguerite was sitting a little out of range, +but Willard bent over and gave her a tender good-night. Then aunt Kate +wrapped her niece in a lovely evening cloak trimmed with white fox and +drew the hood up carefully, and the carriage soon whisked them to their +destination. + +"Oh, how beautiful she looks!" Marguerite exclaimed involuntarily. + +The mother smiled tenderly. + +"Zaidee has grown up with her beauty," said the father. "I used to be +afraid aunt Kate would spoil her and lead her to think beauty was the +great thing to strive for, but she takes it as a matter of course. I +hope she will be as indifferent about it when she is grown to womanhood, +for nothing destroys the charm like that ultraconsciousness and the bid +for admiration. So many things beside beauty of feature go to make up +the charm of an interesting woman." + +She must be interesting, Marguerite thought. There were so many +delightful qualities one could cultivate. Mrs. Barrington was charming, +and Miss Arran had so many nice quiet ways, that she had insensibly +copied; her low toned voice, her never seeming to hurry and yet going +about any matter as if it was the first thing to be done; her little +orderly methods. She kept her mother's room neat, she put the books back +in their places; there was a cluster of autumn leaves in a vase, or a +sprig of spruce or cedar that for a long while would put forth new +leaves. She was very glad now that she had taken so much pains. Was she +rather unpolished when they had first come from Laconia. But her circle +there was so different. + +She told over only the best of it when her father asked about her life +there. Wasn't this what Willard had meant and she had resented? She +would try not to be ashamed of the poor and plain living since it was +the best Mrs. Boyd could give; but she knew even then she was longing +and planning for something better. + +And a room like this for her very own! She liked it better because her +very own brother had planned it for her. She looked over some of the +books and above his name he had written--"For my Sister Marguerite." And +she was glad with a sense of mystery she did not care to fathom that her +mother's room was between her and Zaidee's. + +What a long day it had been. Yet in a certain sense happy, as happy as +any strange beautiful place with a father and mother,--the latter she +had not even dreamed of when she had thought a father might be found. +Oh, she must be very grateful to God for sending her here where the +tangle could be resolved in such an honorable manner and she must try to +be worthy of all the love lavished upon her. The whole world broadened +and she was part of the higher life. She was looking up to the hill tops +where human endeavors must aspire even though there were failures, and +to the west over beyond the land of eternal love and golden fruition. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +OUT OF HER LOYALTY + + +Mrs. Van Orden's residence was large and handsome and a-light from top +to bottom. There were three daughters from seventeen to thirteen. They +had always been very friendly with the Crawfords, and this gathering was +a good deal in honor of the young midshipman who was so soon to go on +his first cruise of three years. + +The girls in the dressing room hovered about Zay. Wasn't it wonderful +that her sister had been found and living here all these months? Why it +was just like a story! + +"A princess in disguise," laughed Zay. "That was what I called her." + +"And is she--does she look like you?" + +"No, although we are twins you can easily tell us apart. She is taller; +I think she will be like mother. Her hair is--well a sort of bronzy +light brown, and her eyes are such a dark blue that you might mistake +them for black, and she's rather grave; not such a fly-away as I am. Of +course, you know, we have only had her one day though the others went +over to Mrs. Barrington's to see her." + +"And wasn't she something there," asked a girl. + +"She was going to study for a teacher. Mrs. Barrington expected to keep +her after her--well, I suppose we might call it a foster-mother, died. +You see Mrs. Boyd thought the nurse mamma had was her real mother and +she felt so sorry for the baby believing the true mother had been +killed." + +"Why it is a real romance." + +Zaidee meant to put it on a right foundation. At school once she had, in +a way, stood up for her when Louie Howe tried to establish a +distinction. So why shouldn't she now, and always, even if she had not +taken Marguerite cordially to her heart. No one outside should offer a +slight. + +"And you believe it is all true--" + +"Well, I think Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith and Mrs. Barrington +couldn't all be deceived. You see, this Mrs. Boyd never knew she +belonged to us, but she thought there might be a father somewhere; and +the account of the accident tallied; there were only two babies on the +train and one was killed. Mrs. Boyd knew the baby she took was not +hers. So it is beyond any doubt." + +Zaidee Crawford looked brave and beautiful and her voice would have +carried conviction anywhere, as well as disarming criticism. + +"Oh, you _are_ a darling!" and two or three of the girls kissed her +rapturously. + +"I wouldn't be without a sister for all the world," declared Evelyn Van +Orden, the middle one of the three girls. + +The musicians were tuning up. Several of the young gentlemen stood in +the hall waiting. Mrs. Van Orden summoned them down. + +It was a gay young people's party and numerous were the regrets that +Willard Crawford was to be gone for so long. + +"But you'll have Vincent all next summer," he said. "And there is no +scarcity of other young fellows." + +"But they go away, as well. Unless they have a fortune they cannot +afford to stay at home." + +"And I have all mine to make," he returned, with mock seriousness. + +It was true that at ten the music stopped, but there was some gay +chatting over the refreshments and then the carriages began to come. +They all expressed their pleasure to their hostess. Willard insisted +that they should take home two or three of the girls, and they were +nothing loth. + +"But, you see, Zay is quite certain she owns him, and she gave him about +every other dance," said Sophie Lawrence, as she stood on the steps with +her sister. + +When they were alone Willard reached over and took his sister's hand in +a warm clasp. + +"Zay, I heard your fine defense for Marguerite. I was waiting at the +head of the stairs. I suppose for awhile there will be some gossip and +wondering, but there never can be any doubt of the truth. I think she is +going to make a fine and admirable woman, and I hope you two will love +each other as Vin and I always have." + +"You can't love anyone offhand. Such a love would not be worth having, +and if she wins you away from me--" + +"Oh, Zay, silly child! No one can take your place in the heart of one of +us." + +"I'm not sure." Zay was crying then. + +"You will be sure in the years to come. For mother's sake let us be a +united family. You can never be crowded out. And I think the more love +one gives, the more one gets in return." + +The Major was waiting for them and gave them a tender good-night. + +They were all busy the next day in consultations. A package of clothing +came over from Barrington house that Miss Arran had put in order for +Marguerite, much of it being gifts from Mrs. Barrington, accompanied +with the kindliest and most delicate note. Aunt Kate had fussed a little +about the child not having anything fit to wear. + +"Mrs. Barrington is right, it is best not to make too great a change, +though I think Marguerite's tastes are very simple. Zay, I fancy, has +had rather too much, but she is not as vain of her clothes as of her +beauty, and she is a dear, sweet child. Aunt Kate, we all owe you so +much, and we will see how Marguerite develops." + +Miss Crawford was somewhat mollified, but she returned--"Zay must not be +crowded out of her mother's heart." + +"Oh, there is no fear of that. If we had the six we planned for I think +none of them would complain. Mother love is elastic." + +Willard and Zay were much engrossed making farewell calls. He was very +bright and hopeful, picturing the points of interest he should see and +the experience he should gain. And there would be letters. Three years +would pass rapidly. He stipulated that the girls should not be married +until his return. + +"We have had such a nice long vacation with you," said his mother, "and +we must comfort ourselves with that; and I may come over to some port +with the girls if you are to stay long enough. I feel as if I was just +beginning to live a new life. Think, there have been times when I hardly +expected to see one of you again. Now I am full of hope." + +"My blessed mother!" + +He would write when he reached Washington and tell them what the plans +were. If they were not quite ready Zay and his father might come on for +a few days' visit. + +Zay kissed her mother and went to her room where she gave way to a +violent fit of weeping. + +"I ought to go to your mother," said Aunt Kate. Major Crawford had gone +to the station with his son. + +"Oh, no, stay with me, she will have Marguerite. Oh, if Willard never +never should come back! So many accidents happen," she sobbed. + +"Don't let us think of that; so many come home safely. Oh, my child, try +to be a little tranquil. He is here in the country yet and will not go +away for several days. Summon your fortitude for the sake of the +others." + +"No one loves him as I do," she moaned. + +"I love him dearly. You children have been like my own, I have had so +much of the care of you." + +"But I love him so dearly, and if he should get weaned away! Why, I +should be heartbroken!" + +"My dear!" Aunt Kate sat on the side of the bed, bathed her head with +fragrant water and comforted her with endearing terms until she grew +tranquil and finally fell asleep. + +Mrs. Crawford had seated herself on the couch and motioned Marguerite +beside her. + +"My dear daughter," she said, steadying her voice, "heaven only knows +how glad I am to have you and we must comfort one another. I had dreaded +Willard going, but God has been good to me and sent you just when I +needed you most. We shall be very happy in each other's society, I +foresee. You will be my girl as Zay is Aunt Kate's. Willard is so +interested in you, and when it is a little pleasanter we will go driving +together. I like the byways and the nooks and the wild flowers. Oh, do +you think you could learn to ride? You would not be afraid! Father is +so fond of it. Oh, the rides we used to have in our early life!" + +Marguerite's eyes lighted with eager pleasure. "Oh, I should like it," +she returned, earnestly. + +"And he is so fond of it. It seems as if he had given up so many things +for me. I used to go out to the Stations with him and live in the Forts. +What magnificent gallops we have had. I don't wonder the boys were +imbued with the love of military life, their father was such an ardent +soldier. We were very happy with our boys but we _did_ want a daughter. +I was so proud of the twins, perhaps too proud. Yet I do not think we +can love these choice gifts of God too much, so long as we are grateful +to the giver. Then there came all the sorrowful years. For a long while +they thought I never would walk again. The Major resigned from the army +and I know it was a sore cross to him. But we took much pleasure in +educating our boys, and Zay was such a bright, winsome little thing. Her +passion is dancing and being merry. She loves to go out driving but I +think she is afraid of managing a horse. Her father tried to train her a +little but she cried and begged off, and the boys have been away so +much. Oh, it will give him the greatest pleasure." + +"And I want to devote my life to your happiness to make up for the years +when you did not have me. You must train me in your ways, you must tell +me what he likes best." + +"Oh, my darling!" + +Major Crawford found them in a close embrace when he returned. + +"Oh," the wife began, eagerly, "we have been planning some pleasures so +we shall not feel Willard's loss too keenly. You must teach Marguerite +to ride and to play chess and we will read the old poets. Some of them +are so charming. Why it will seem as if we had gone in an enchanted +country--the Forest of Arden." + +How bright and smiling she was! He kissed her and then sat down on the +other side of Marguerite. He had been afraid he would find her in sore +need of comfort. + +Aunt Kate came in presently. + +"Zaidee has fallen asleep," she said. "She was completely unnerved by +the parting. Her feelings are so strong, her love has such depths to it, +so I have been soothing her to comparative tranquility. You will not +miss this one good-night." + +"We shall all miss the boy very much, and he will return to us a man of +full stature. I think we can trust him to return as true and honorable +as when he went away. Yes, he and Zaidee have been together a great deal +this last six months and she will miss him sorely." + +"But there will be school and new interests," said the mother. "We must +see Mrs. Barrington and make some future arrangements. Why in May the +girls will be sixteen!" + +"Sixteen!" re-echoed their father. "Let us have them set back." + +"Oh no," cried Marguerite, "rather let us stay just here. I should like +to make two days of every one. I am afraid no day will be long enough." + +Miss Crawford turned away. The others resumed their talk and she heard +their joyous voices. "Poor Zay! Poor Willard!" she said, under her +breath. + +When she went to her room and it was quite late the gas was lighted, her +bed been put in the most inviting order and there lay a pretty +nightdress with its garniture. She colored with a thrill of pleasure. +Then she turned and surveyed herself in the glass. Her eyes had a +luminous softness, there was a faint pink in her cheeks and her lips +had lost their compression, were absolutely shaped into a smile. If she +_could_ grow prettier! But her parents loved her. She knew that and it +filled her with joy. + +Zaidee was bright as usual the next morning and hovered about her father +in a tender manner. "By this time Willard was in Washington. When would +he know his time of sailing?" + +"I believe the vessel is at Fortress Monroe; we will hear soon." + +"Aunt Kate we ought to make some calls today and Margie Putnam has a tea +this afternoon, just an informal little affair. Her cousin has come from +Providence, I believe, and will try to get in at Mrs. Barrington's. I +should think there would be lovely schools in Providence." + +"I want to go over to Mrs. Barrington's this morning," said Mrs. +Crawford, "about ten; will you order the carriage?" to her husband. + +Then she asked the maid to unpack a box that they had brought home on +their last journey. There were many beautiful materials. They did seem +extravagant at the time, but she was rather glad now. + +"Marguerite, I wonder if you could wear these things. This green is +lovely." It was a cloth that had the sheen of satin. She held it up to +the young girl. Why, yes--it would make a handsome winter suit trimmed +with fur. And this sort of lavender gray--it is a favorite color of +mine. "We will see the dressmaker this morning." + +Marguerite flushed and glancing up smiled gratefully, though she could +not trust her voice to speak. + +"Oh, it will be delightful for me to have a young girl to dress--a +daughter. Perhaps, I shall be a foolish mother, but Aunt Kate has always +looked after Zay's attire. I believe I was not much interested in +clothes, but now I shall be and I have so many pretty things I shall +never wear again. Zay is overburdened now," laughing softly, "and Aunt +Kate will dower her. Oh, Marguerite, I am so glad to have you! It has +given a new impetus to my life," and she held the girl to her heart. + +It was a bright morning, cold, but with no perceptible wind. The trees +were outlined against the blue sky, where there was scarcely a drift of +white floating about. The evergreen about the lawns made it look less +like winter and here and there a conservatory showed brilliant bloom. +How beautiful the town was even in the winter. + +There were two streets given over to business in one of which a trolley +line was allowed, largely for the convenience of the outlying +settlements. There really were some very nice stores. There was a fine +music hall used for lectures and now and then a play found its way +thither. Some seven miles distant was a thriving city. + +The carriage paused at a fine residence with just a nameplate on the +door. They were ushered into a handsome parlor and in a few moments +Madam came sweeping down the broad stairway, her silken gown making a +soft swish on the polished floor. She was surprised and delighted to see +Mrs. Crawford, who introduced her daughter and soon stated her errand. +The green was to be a walking suit for Miss Marguerite and trimmed with +whatever fur would be considered most appropriate. The lavender would be +a sort of dinner and general-utility dress and ornamented with some +beautiful Persian embroidery that had been brought from abroad; one of +Aunt Kate's bargains. + +When it was all settled the forewoman was called, who ushered Marguerite +upstairs into the fitting room where two tall mirrors gave the place +twice the size. There were measurements and discussions but the fitter +was horrified to learn that the young girl had never worn corsets. + +"Still she has a fine figure. You will make a larger woman than your +sister, indeed, you _do_ favor your mother. It is like a miracle to see +Mrs. Crawford going about without any aid. She had such a splendid +physique until that horrible accident. How overjoyed they must feel that +you escaped." + +Marguerite quietly admitted that and presently she was returned to her +mother. + +"We might have sent for them, but I thought you wouldn't mind, and I +should have had to explain it all to Aunt Kate. Why, I feel as if I had +run away on some secret expedition. Do I look guilty?" and she laughed +softly. "You are to be my girl you know. Oh, I hope you wont think me +exigent? I can't endure fussiness, and I do believe that I have given in +to Zay's desires when I did not think them wise or necessary, rather +than have any discussion. But Aunt Kate loves her so and she has been so +good to me." + +Mrs. Barrington was delighted to see them. While the two ladies +discussed studies and future plans, Marguerite ran through to the study +where the left-over scholars were arranging a little play they were to +amuse themselves with that afternoon. But Miss Nevins uttered a shriek +of delight and nearly toppled her over in an exuberant embrace. + +"Oh, my dear Miss Boyd--Crawford, I mean, will we get used to the new +name! Isn't it all splendid! And to be so rich and to belong to a first +class family! It _does_ make a difference. I've been writing to mamma +all about it. It ought to be put in a book. But I liked you so from the +very first, and you were so good to me. But the girls kept hectoring me +and saying mamma wouldn't approve. She's very particular about the +friends I make, because I shall go in the best society when I get +introduced. I think papa will give me a ball. It is real stylish to have +it at Sherry's. And I want you and your sister; only you ought to look +more alike, being twins; I'm just as glad as if something grand had +happened to me. And your father ought to give you a splendid party at +Crawford House. I suppose it is very fine and all that." + +Her face was in a glow and her dull brown eyes had a glint in them that +improved them very much. + +"I am just the same as when I was Lilian Boyd," she began. But Alice +interrupted--"Oh, no, you're not, and you will soon find it out. It's +all right, too. Rich people _do_ have more chances, and seeing the world +and mixing with high up style gives you an air. Why you couldn't imagine +that plain little Mrs. Boyd with her meek air going to dinners and +balls, and she never could have earned money enough to dress any. That's +what tells. And when you can't go into society or meet nice people but +just stay at home and work or teach--what fun is there in life? Why I'd +rather be dead." + +"I should want to be alive even if I were Lilian Boyd. I think it is a +grand world, and there is so much happening all the time. And I don't +care so much about being rich--" + +"But you _will_ and your mother is so lovely. Major Crawford looks +rather stern and that handsome young man--what a pity he's to follow the +sea, unless he gets to be an Admiral, and then he'll have to be quite +old. I'd rather be at West Point. Oh, I wish I had a brother." + +Marguerite looked pityingly at the silly girl. Then she asked about the +play. Miss Nevins had been to the theatre and wanted to remodel the +simple little story, and there had been some warm arguments. + +"I must go and see Miss Arran." There was no use disputing proprieties +with the overwise girl. But she hoped they had all begun a Happy New +Year. + +Alice followed her into the hall. "You are coming back to school and now +we can be real good friends. Oh, I just love you and I'm so glad all +this happened to you." Before Marguerite could evade it she had given +her a rapturous kiss which the girl rubbed off an instant later. + +Miss Arran was truly glad to see her and they exchanged warm wishes. + +"We have a new caretaker, quite a young woman, but I do not take a real +fancy to her. Your mother, oh, excuse me saying that--was so neat and +particular and did every thing so well." + +Marguerite smiled. She had often added touches of order and neatness, +and kept the room tidy with a taste that never appealed to Mrs. Boyd. +Though, perhaps, it had in her earlier years. The young girl could +understand now, how gradually she had failed. + +And there was Mrs. Dane with her cordial grasp and the heartiness of her +greeting. Whatever distrust she might have had had vanished. + +"We are so glad to have you back again," she exclaimed, "and such a +bright future opening before you, though I must have given you the same +respect if you had been here teaching. Mrs. Barrington doesn't often +take such a fancy to anyone. She did from the very first, and though +you'll find the money and position will make a difference in some +quarters, it never would have with her." + +"Oh, I am sure of that," responded the girl earnestly. + +The two ladies had settled about the studies and the music and Mrs. +Barrington explained a little plan. All the girls would be in by +Saturday and she thought it would be well to introduce Marguerite in her +new circumstances. She would, therefore, give a little dinner at which +the sisters should be the guests of honor. That would prevent any gossip +or comment and give Marguerite that home feeling with the other +students. Mrs. Crawford assented cordially. + +"And now, we must go or we will be late for lunch. I can never thank you +enough for your kindly interest in my dear girl when she came to you an +unknown stranger and if anything should happen to me, for I have +wondered if one could be so happy and enjoy it for long, I should want +you always to be her friend." + +"You may depend upon that, but the good days are only the outgrowth of +patiently borne bad ones; beauty for ashes." + +Mrs. Crawford was very bright at luncheon. She announced to Zaidee Mrs. +Harrington's plan for the informal dinner. + +"Why, I think it excellent," declared Zaidee. "You see, we should both +be questioned. It's awfully tiresome to have to tell an occurrence over +and over and Mrs. Barrington would carry conviction. I hope you won't +mind, Marguerite. See what it is to be a heroine." + +"I was nearly killed with Miss Nevins and wouldn't it be a good thing to +refer curious people to Mrs. Barrington?" + +Marguerite glanced up with a half smile. + +"We have to pay the penalty for any unusual happenings," said their +father. "I think I should feel interested if this had occurred in the +home of a neighbor. So we will not set it down to idle curiosity. Even +_I_ had to be convinced that it was not mere hearsay." + +As they were leaving the room Miss Crawford said in a low tone, +"Margaret--don't you need some shopping or planning done?" + +"Thank you, Kate. You have been a true sister all these years. I took +Marguerite and some material to Madame Blauvelt this morning. She +thought that green cloth would make a very becoming suit and the +lavender grey. They will not go out much this winter now that the +holidays are over, and they are too young." + +Miss Crawford only said, "Oh, very well." + +The mother had a half guilty feeling as if she had unduly asserted +herself, yet she was inexpressibly happy. + +There were calls in the afternoon and Zaidee sat alone in her room +leaning her chin on her hand and glancing out of the window. + +In a way she had been the family heroine. + +The twin sister who might have been so dear had been wrenched out of her +life. She had thought of her, dreamed of her, although she had been well +content to fill the place of an only daughter with this faint shadow of +sorrow hanging over her; and suddenly, she had been uprooted, flung +aside as it were, and another had stepped into her place. She did not +like it. If it had been from the beginning! If it had come about some +other way. If someone had sent from that Western town. Would the girls +who had held themselves above the Boyd connection feel mortified at many +of the comments they had made? She was glad she had held up some +supposititious cases; though, truth to tell, Zaidee felt too secure of +her own standing to need any propping, and there was a strand of +independence in her character, but she had been first all her life and +in a curious fashion she would lose that eminence. + +Of course, in time she would love Marguerite. One could not do it in a +moment. That was the salve she was applying to her conscience. When they +had known each other for months, learned and respected each others' +peculiarities, love would come. She had not felt inclined to fling +herself in Lilian Boyd's arms, and she had almost doubted at first. So +had Aunt Kate. + +Zaidee would have scouted the thought of jealousy, and if it had been +suggested would have denied it vehemently. Neither was she given to +analysis. Her temperament was rather volatile and pleasure loving. The +things that suited her she enjoyed, the others she passed by +indifferently. She did like to be made much of, and she thought she was +worthy of preference. She had beauty, good nature and a heedless sort +of generosity and wealth. In a certain way she saw the benefit of that +quite as much as Alice Nevins though she did not esteem it the chief +good. + +Major Crawford came in from his walk just at dusk. + +"Letters!" holding it up. "A thick packet--one for each of us, I think." + +Zaidee had been waiting for Aunt Kate to come up stairs, as the last +caller had gone. She was lonely after this long communing with herself. + +"If there is not one for me I shall go to bed and cry," she declared as +she followed to her mother's room. Aunt Kate had been detailing some of +the pleasant neighborhood news. + +Yes--each one was directed. Willard had not omitted one member of the +household. He was in Washington and had come just in time for some of +the grand occasions. Saturday he was to board his vessel and by +Wednesday, at the farthest, they were to start on their three years' +pilgrimage. But to each one some tenderness exclusively for herself. To +Zay he recalled many of their joys during the summer time, little events +they were glad to hold together and the blessed news of their mother. + +"There will never be anything quite like that," she thought to herself. +"And there is no one else--Aunt Kate never felt afraid to trust us, and +of course, he will grow older, find a sweetheart perhaps, and I may have +a lover; girls of nineteen do. Up to this time he has cared the most for +me." + +Marguerite turned to the window though the gas had been lighted. There +was no past to refer to, only the sweet, tender hopes of the future. It +touched her deeply. No one had ever written her such a letter before. +And that he was her brother and would write again and again. She must +strive to deserve this love and confidence, grow up into the fine +character he had pictured for her. Vincent had sent her fond messages in +his mother's letter but she did not know him and he could not come so +near. + +Zay read some of hers aloud, but she wondered a little what he could +find to say so much of to Marguerite. She had not the courage to show it +to her mother, even, it seemed so sacred to her. Oh, could she reach the +heights he had indicated? + +Marguerite did shrink from the ordeal of Saturday evening. She had kept +rigorously to the position of Mrs. Boyd's daughter but how would she +meet these girls who had held aloof in her poverty and proffered +cordiality now, because she was Major Crawford's daughter! She could not +get over a little hurt feeling, for surely she was the same person. She +almost despised the money and the position. But there was the grand and +tender love. Ah, that was worth a great deal. + +By Saturday noon all the girls had come in. There were merry greetings, +recapitulations of the holiday times and the gifts they had received and +some of them heard for the first time the change in Lilian Boyd's life. + +"I always liked her," said Isabel Gordon, "only you couldn't get on with +her. She allowed you to come so far and no farther. And she was a most +excellent student and very ready to help anyone. I don't think you girls +need ever felt afraid of her presuming and now I suppose you will all go +down to her." + +Miss Gordon's voice had a touch of indignation. + +"I shall pay her the respect due her standing, of course," said another, +"I was always polite to her in the classes. + +"And, Louie Howe, you know you persuaded that Nevins' girl to write that +hateful letter to her, when she had been so good and taken so much +pains with her." + +"I didn't _persuade_," rejoined Louie, angrily. + +"You said you were sure Mrs. Nevins wouldn't approve of the +friendship--yes I think you _did_ suggest the letter and Miss Nevins +slipped back woefully. How many of us would have taken her into grace +again? And I know Mrs. Barrington held Miss Boyd in high esteem." + +"She thought she would make a fine teacher; so, of course, she pushed +her along." + +"Oh, Louie!" in deprecating tones. + +"Well, you may all go down to her. I shan't object. She can't hold a +candle to Zaidee." + +"Oh, Zay is a darling!" + +"I wonder how she takes it. She has always been a little Queen and her +aunt thinks the sun rises and sets in her and sweeps the very stars out +of sight; and Zay isn't a bit puffed up or arrogant, but she does want +people to love and admire her. And now that her mother has recovered +sufficiently to go into society again I am afraid Zay won't like to +share her." + +"Miss Marguerite isn't handsome and Zay is a beauty, and the least vain +of any pretty girl that I ever met." + +"It's funny for twins not to look more alike, but there's something +noble about her, and she has the same lovely complexion. What she needs +is more color." + +The carriage drove around; Mrs. Barrington welcomed them both warmly. +Marguerite was in a light evening dress that made her look much younger +and her hair had been becomingly arranged by the maid. All the girls +were summoned to the drawing room and Mrs. Barrington entered with her +most delightful air. + +"Young ladies," she began, "I have a new scholar to introduce to your +circle, Miss Marguerite Crawford, the lost child of Major and Mrs. +Crawford, supposed to have been killed in the sad accident fifteen years +ago. Mrs. Boyd's baby was killed and she, mistaking the nurse who was +killed for the mother, out of pity, took the child. Her health was not +very good when she came here and it failed gradually. Then she thought +she ought to take some steps that the child might be able to trace her +relatives, if she had any. You may have all heard the story, which has +been proved beyond a doubt, and she has found the most cordial welcome +in her own family. I hope you will all rejoice with her, though I had +resolved if no claimant were found, to keep her here as my own. I hope +you will unite with me in giving her the warmest of welcomes in your +circle as ambitious students. I thought you might like to meet her in +her new relation to us before the real work of next week began." + +There was a moment's silence, then Miss Gordon stepped forward and +clasped her hand. + +"I think we all rejoice in your good fortune; also, that we are not to +lose you. It is a beautiful and happy romance and Mrs. Barrington's +plans for you would have been fully deserved if something so much more +delightful had not happened. Believe me, I shall always be glad to have +known you." + +There was an instant confusion of voices and a throng gathering about +her. Zaidee stood beside her looking proud and happy as congratulations +poured in upon her. The cordial acceptance did touch her. She was glad +to begin her new life by being friendly with them all. + +Presently they went out to the dining room and it was quite a festive +occasion. Zaidee was bright and charming, and endeared herself more than +ever to the girls. No one should say she had a grudging thought. +Phillipa Rosewald proposed drinking toasts to her, even if it was only +in water, and much girlish wit and laughter went round. + +"Why it's been a delightful party," several of them declared. "Mrs. +Barrington, how can we thank you?" + +"By being cordial and helpful with each other and holding fast to the +divine truths that shape character and will make you admirable women +capable of filling the best and highest positions in life; and, +remember, there is nothing more satisfactory in the world than true and +generous friendship." + +Phillipa rescued Zay from the overwhelming kissing and hugs. + +"Oh, my dear, isn't it all wonderful? Why you didn't write half of it to +me! And I laughed over your little scare of scarlet fever. Louie had a +mental attack, I think. She went almost crazy, but I fancy she won't +blow on us. It was a silly thing to do, but see here--" and she twisted +a ring around her finger. "A diamond, sure enough, but I can't be +engaged until I've graduated. It's just awful, and only a little stolen +bit in his sister's letters to me. But he thinks he'll plan a way to see +me at Easter, even if he has to come here. So the old woman didn't miss +it there! And I do wonder how you'll like a sister? You spoiled little +midget!" + +"Oh, we shan't quarrel," with a gay laugh. + +The carriage had come for them and there were enough farewells to send +them off to Europe. + +"Zay _does_ take it beautifully," said a group of girls. "Lucky that +Miss Nevins was all bunged up with a bad toothache and swelled face. +She'd counted so much on being in at the feast." + +The three elders were sitting up for them. + +"We've just had a gay old time and Rita was the star of the goodly +company," exclaimed Zaidee in her merriest tone. "We drank healths +enough to sink a ship and Mrs. Barrington was sweetness itself. I'm +tired and sleepy, so you won't mind if I run off to bed. And Monday the +treadmill of school begins. Only one day of grace!" + +She kissed her parents, then her sister. Was she beginning to love her? +She had been so radiantly sweet tonight. + +"You _did_ enjoy it?" and the Major pulled Marguerite down on his knee. + +"Oh, yes, only I didn't like being quite so much of a heroine. But my +most ardent admirer was ill in bed, and I was thankful for that." + +He laughed. How different she was from Zay. Had it been her quiet +restricted sphere, her struggle with the life she had known in dreams +and the bald every day experiences? Zay laughed at the favors and +pleasures showered upon her but she would not have been the bright, +merry girl without them. Would the gravity of the one help to tone down +the mercurial temperament of the other? Oh, it was so good to have them +both! Could he ever be thankful enough? And he forgave the poor woman in +her grave. + +Zaidee chatted awhile with Aunt Kate who fancied she understood all the +thoughts of the young girl's heart. It was not strange she should be a +little jealous, but she had more gifts to attract the world with, and +the pendulum of her parents' love would swing back presently. Then the +child said good-night and went to her white bed, but the sleepiness had +gone by and she was wondering about herself. + +Would she come to love this strange sister who had been thrust upon her +as it were. Truly, she did not know. If she kept the old love of them +all, the first love, no one could quite climb up to that place in their +hearts and if Marguerite could be content with the second place--that +really was hers, she would be sweet and gracious and share honors with +her. + +Poor child! She did not understand what love really meant; that it was +to dole out the overplus of one's life when one was in the mood, or +withhold when one chose, was, as yet, her definition of it. What can an +overindulged child know of the grand motives it takes a life-time to +learn? + +Marguerite looked out on the shining night with its tender hush, with no +wind stirring, no sound anywhere. A new life unrolled before her; an +illumination and comprehension of the past that would be builded in the +years to come. Whatsoever was lovely and of good report was to be the +foundation stones of the temple God had bidden her to rear. Would she +learn to be lovely in feature and expression from the inward light of +the soul--the lamp God had set there? + +Yet the new life had brought grander duties than mere self advancement, +and Marguerite prayed that she might fulfill them faithfully. + + + * * * * * + + +ALWAYS ASK FOR THE DONOHUE +Complete Editions and you will get the best for the least money + +Book by MRS. E. D. E. N. SOUTHWORTH + +AN ATTRACTIVE LIST OF THE +WORKS OF THIS POPULAR AUTHOR + +The first eighteen titles with brackets are books with sequels, +"Victor's Triumph," being a sequel to "Beautiful Fiend," etc. They are +all printed from large, clear type on a superior quality of flexible +paper and bound in English vellum cloth, assorted colors, containing +charming female heads lithographed in twelve colors, as inlays; the +titles being stamped in harmonizing colors of ink or foil. Cloth, +12mo size. + +{1 Beautiful Fiend, A +{2 Victor's Triumph + +{3 Bride's Fate +{4 Changed Brides + +{5 Cruel as the Grave +{6 Tried for Her Life + +{7 Fair Play +{8 How He Won Her + +{9 Family Doom +{10 Maiden Widow + +{11 Hidden Hand, The +{12 Capitola's Peril + +{13 Ishmael +{14 Self Raised + +{15 Lost Heir of Linlithgow +{16 Noble Lord, A + +{17 Unknown +{18 Mystery of Raven Rocks + +19 Bridal Eve, The +20 Bride's Dowry, The +21 Bride of Llewellyn, The +22 Broken Engagement, The +23 Christmas Guest, The +24 Curse of Clifton +25 Deserted Wife, The +26 Discarded Daughter, The +27 Doom of Deville, The +28 Eudora +29 Fatal Secret, A +30 Fortune Seeker +31 Gypsy's Prophecy +32 Haunted Homestead +33 India; or, The Pearl of Pearl River +34 Lady of the Isle, The +35 Lost Heiress, The +36 Love's Labor Won +37 Missing Bride, The +38 Mother-in-Law +39 Prince of Darkness, and Artist's Love +40 Retribution +41 Three Beauties, The +42 Three Sisters, The +43 Two Sisters, The +44 Vivian +45 Widow's Son +46 Wife's Victory + +All of the above books may be had at the store where this book was +bought, or will be sent postpaid at 75c each by the publishers. + +M. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Girls at Mount Morris</p> +<p>Author: Amanda Minnie Douglas</p> +<p>Release Date: December 29, 2007 [eBook #24070]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS***</p> +<p> </p> +<h3 class="pg">E-text prepared by Roger Frank<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + (http://www.pgdp.net)</h3> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:300px"> +<a name="illus-000" id="illus-000"></a> +<img src="images/illus-cvr.jpg" alt="" title="" width="300" /><br /> +</div> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:350px"> +<a name="illus-001" id="illus-001"></a> +<img src="images/illus-fpc.jpg" alt="Went Scudding Through the Park Chap. 6. Girls at Mt. Morris" title="" width="350" /><br /> +<table style="width:350px" summary=""> + <tr><td align="center">Went Scudding Through the Park</td></tr> + <tr><td align="right"><span class="s">Chap. 6. Girls at Mt. Morris</span></td></tr> +</table> +</div> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<table style="margin: auto; border: black 1px solid;" summary=""> +<col style="width:10%;" /> +<col style="width:80%;" /> +<col style="width:10%;" /> +<tr><td></td><td> +<p class="xxl" style="margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:0.5em;">THE GIRLS AT<br />MOUNT MORRIS</p> +<p class="s" style="margin-bottom:0.5em">BY</p> +<p style="margin-bottom:1em">AMANDA M. DOUGLAS</p> +<p class="xs">AUTHOR OF “SHERBURNE SERIES,” “A LITTLE GIRL SERIES,”</p> +<p class="xs" style="margin-bottom:2em">“A MODERN CINDERELLA,” ETC.</p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/illus-emb.png" alt="" /></div> +<p class="sc" style="margin-top:2em">M. A. DONOHUE & CO.</p> +<p class="sc" style="margin-bottom:2em">Boston</p> +</td><td></td></tr> +</table> + +<p class="s c"><a href="images/illus-ttl.jpg">Link to image of cover page.</a></p> +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<p class="c">Copyright 1914<br /> +M. A. Donohue & Company<br /> +Chicago<br /><br /> +Made in U. S. A.</p> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<h2 class="toc">CONTENTS</h2> +<table border="0" width="500" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto"> +<col style="width:15%;" /> +<col style="width:5%;" /> +<col style="width:70%;" /> +<col style="width:10%;" /> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">I</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Looking the Future in the Face</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#LOOKING_THE_FUTURE_IN_THE_FACE_94">1</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">II</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">A New Outlook</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#A_NEW_OUTLOOK_566">22</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">III</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Food For Consideration</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#FOOD_FOR_CONSIDERATION_980">39</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">IV</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">The Grace of Endeavor</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#THE_GRACE_OF_ENDEAVOR_1452">58</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">V</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Zaidee</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#ZAIDEE_1883">77</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">VI</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">An Escapade and What Came of It</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#AN_ESCAPADE_AND_WHAT_CAME_OF_IT_2448">100</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">VII</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">A Supreme Moment</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#A_SUPREME_MOMENT_2901">118</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">VIII</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">A Strange Confession</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#A_STRANGE_CONFESSION_3291">134</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">IX</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Whose Child Am I?</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#WHOSE_CHILD_AM_I_3769">154</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">X</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Unraveling Tangled Threads</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#UNRAVELING_TANGLED_THREADS_4175">171</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XI</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Standing Up to the Mark</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#STANDING_UP_TO_THE_MARK_4541">186</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XII</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Oh, Will I Be Welcome?</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#OH_WILL_I_BE_WELCOME_4960">204</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XIII</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">A Mother’s Love</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#A_MOTHERS_LOVE_5345">220</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XIV</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Going Out of the Old Life</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#GOING_OUT_OF_THE_OLD_LIFE_5890">244</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XV</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Your True Home</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#YOUR_TRUE_HOME_6424">267</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> + <td class="tdright">XVI</td> + <td></td> + <td class="tdleft">Out of Her Loyalty</td> + <td class="tdright"><a href="#OUT_OF_HER_LOYALTY_6892">287</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="tnote">Table of Contents was not present in original edition.</p> + +<hr class="spacer" /> + +<h1>The Girls at Mt. Morris</h1> + +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_1" id="pg_1">1</a></span> +<a name="LOOKING_THE_FUTURE_IN_THE_FACE_94" id="LOOKING_THE_FUTURE_IN_THE_FACE_94"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER I</h2> +<h3>LOOKING THE FUTURE IN THE FACE</h3> +</div> + +<p>Lilian Boyd entered the small, rather shabby room, neat, though +everything was well worn. Her mother sat by a little work table busy +with some muslin sewing and she looked up with a weary smile. Lilian +laid a five-dollar bill on the table.</p> + +<p>“Madame Lupton sails on Saturday,” she said. “Oh how splendid it must be +to go to Paris! Mrs. Cairns is to finish up; there is only a little to +do, but Madame said everything you did was so neat, so well finished +that she should be very glad to have you by the first of October.”</p> + +<p>The mother sighed. “Meanwhile there is almost two months to provide for, +and I had to break in the last hundred dollars to pay the rent. Oh +Lilian! I hardly know which way to turn. I am not strong any more, I +have made every effort to—” and her voice broke, “but I am afraid you +will have to give up school.”</p> + +<p>She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_2" id="pg_2">2</a></span>“Oh, mother, don’t! don’t!” the girl implored. “I suppose it was +selfish of me to think of such a thing and you couldn’t go through two +years more. You are not as well as you were a year ago. I’ll see Sally +Meeks tonight and take the place in the factory. I only have to give two +weeks and then begin on five dollars a week. It will be better than the +sewing.”</p> + +<p>Lilian Boyd stood up very straight and determined, though her heart sank +within her. To give up her cherished wish, to join the great army of +shop girls with no hope of advancement in the future! She was almost +sixteen; she had been two years in the High School and was a favorite +scholar. Two years more and she could teach. It was in the walk of life +that she so ardently desired. Tall for her age, vigorous, with courage +and earnestness in every line of the face that was fine, now, to the +casual observer and might develop into beauty. It was spirited, eager, +with a clear complexion, deep blue eyes that in some moods seemed black, +while the hair was light and abundant. The brows and lashes were much +darker. The features were regular, the chin broad and cleft, but it was +the courage and uplift in the face that gave it character.</p> + +<p>The mother was so different. It was not <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_3" id="pg_3">3</a></span>altogether a weak face but +intensely commonplace; the sort of woman who has no ambitions beyond the +ordinary round of life. Was it the old story of the eagle in the dove’s +nest?</p> + +<p>“You are very tired,” she began, presently. “Lie down on the lounge +while I get supper.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd was still crying softly. Lilian kissed her, threw a light +shawl over her shoulders, then lighted the gas burner and set on the +kettle. She would run out and get a chop for her mother, some for +breakfast as well. Yes, she must begin to be the care taker, she had +been so engrossed with her studies and giving her help with the sewing +they did for a dressmaking establishment that she had hardly noted. She +swallowed over a great lump in her throat, it was a bitter sacrifice and +yet she must make it. She could not even study during the evenings for +she must help with the sewing, and if her mother should be ill!</p> + +<p>The little supper was tastily arranged, the tea and the chop had an +unwonted fragrance.</p> + +<p>“I’m awfully sorry,” said the mother, “but Sally says it is a nice shop +and the boss is particular about the kind of girls he has, and to think +Sally’s earning nine dollars a week now!”</p> + +<p>“Yes, Sally’s a nice pleasant girl,” that was <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_4" id="pg_4">4</a></span>all she could trust her +voice to say.</p> + +<p>“And it will be company back and forth. Maybe—sometime—”</p> + +<p>Oh, had she been right in that long ago time? It seemed ages to her, so +much had happened since, and she thought she could not live without the +child, but after all the girl was not of her kind. What if she had done +her a great wrong! She had never been an introspective woman, her life +was mostly on the surface, with commonplace aims and desires.</p> + +<p>The kitchen was small, the middle room not much larger, but it had two +nice windows, the front was on a much neglected street with a big +carpenter’s shop across the way. They used that for a sleeping room and +it had in it the remnant of better days. The sewing room was much more +quiet.</p> + +<p>Lilian cleared away the things. Mrs. Boyd went back to the lounge. Then +the girl went down the street. She had best make her sacrifice at once, +it was not a subject to ponder over and she realized it had been a big +black cloud hanging about her the last month.</p> + +<p>Sally’s mother sat out on the small porch gossiping with a neighbor.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Lily Boyd,” she exclaimed. “Sally <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_5" id="pg_5">5</a></span>was coming up on Saturday but +she had to fly round like a bee in a flower garden. It want her turn to +go to the Rest House, but the other girl couldn’t—sickness at home. So +Sally went in her place. Splendid, isn’t it! And board only two dollars +a week. I tell Sally she’s got the nicest boss we’ve ever heard about. +She’ll be home Sat’day night and tell you all about it.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I want to see her. No, I can’t stay. Oh, mother does not seem very +well. Good-night.”</p> + +<p>Lilian did not go straight home. This was the old part of the town there +were no real cottages and little gardens fragrant with flowers, but +people were huddled in them. There would presently be factories and +tenement houses.</p> + +<p>She was making a sharp, desperate fight. Strong natures have to. Why was +she born with these ambitions and aims and capabilities and the ardent +desire to do something? All girls did not have them. Some in the class +laughed and made merry without a thought of the future. Some expected to +teach and ‘just hated it.’ She would have been so glad. Well the dream +must be given up—at least for years. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_6" id="pg_6">6</a></span>It would be horrible to count on +her mother’s death for freedom. She shuddered.</p> + +<p>They went to bed, but neither of them slept until after midnight. Now +and then Lilian heard a soft sob. She felt that she ought to comfort her +mother, but what could she say? Since she had been growing up she had +become aware of a barrier between them. Mrs. Boyd had loved her +fervently as a little girl, she had not taken any special pride in her +entering the High School with such a fine record. She was in no sense an +ambitious or an intellectual woman and the girl’s vigor and intentness +sometimes frightened her. She should have been in some other sphere.</p> + +<p>Lilian sank into a sort of dull apathy, questioning everything as youth +often does under a great disappointment. What was the use of living if +one could never attain the things one desired? She was not like Sally +nor dozens of other girls. Their commonplace lives would be martyrdom to +her.</p> + +<p>So they both slept late. Lilian prepared the simple breakfast.</p> + +<p>“Perhaps it would be a good thing to get out last winter’s clothes and +see what can be fixed over,” said the mother. “But you have grown so +much this year, Lilian.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_7" id="pg_7">7</a></span>Oh, if clothes mattered, if anything mattered! There was the postman’s +whistle.</p> + +<p>Quite a thick letter for her mother in a neat lady’s hand.</p> + +<p>“Why that’s funny,” and a smile brightened the girl’s face.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd glanced it over. “Why it’s from Mrs. Searing. She was here +last March, you know. She has always taken such an interest in you, +and—oh read it, read it aloud. My head is so bad this morning.”</p> + +<p>She began to cry again.</p> + +<p>Helen took the letter. The first page was full of friendly interest and +then she branched off into a delightful visit she had been making at a +very pretty place, one of the old fashioned aristocratic towns where a +relative kept a select and high class Seminary for young ladies. She had +found her in something of a quandary. The woman who had taken charge of +the bed and table line and a sort of general seamstress had suddenly +married, and it was necessary to fill her place before school opened. +She wanted a middle aged person with some experience who was neat and +careful. She would have a pleasant room and the duties would not be +arduous. There was a housekeeper and several maids beside the cook.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_8" id="pg_8">8</a></span>“So,” wrote Mrs. Searing, “I told her about Lilian, remembering you had +said you were afraid you could not keep her in school to finish, and her +ambition to be a teacher. She was wonderfully interested and I told her +somewhat of your misfortunes and struggles. So she proposes that you +shall accept this position and that Lilian shall take a sort of +supervision of some of the younger pupils and go on with her own +education. Mrs. Barrington has been very kind and helpful to several +young girls and I know Lilian will admire her extremely.”</p> + +<p>The girl sprang up with a glad cry and flung her arms around her +mother’s neck.</p> + +<p>“Oh, let us go, let us go! Why it seems like a miracle,” and then she +was crying, too, from an overwrought heart.</p> + +<p>Presently she resumed the letter. They would have a pleasant room +together, considerable leisure, and there would be music, a fine library +beside that in the town and the society was charming. The mother’s +salary was a very fair one and in another year the daughter might be +able to earn something for herself. Mrs. Searing really urged the +matter. Would Mrs. Boyd write at once to Mrs. Barrington?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_9" id="pg_9">9</a></span>“Oh, mother, to think! No rent to pay, no bills to meet, no bother of +cooking and house keeping. It seems too good to be true. Let me read it +over again lest I must have skipped something.”</p> + +<p>It seemed more attractive at the second perusal. Lilian’s heart beat +with unwonted emotion. Mrs. Boyd leaned back in her chair, paler than +ever but not quite so depressed.</p> + +<p>“You must answer it, Lilian; I couldn’t make it sound right, and you can +tell her about yourself; I don’t understand all these things. I never +had any high up education. People were not thinking of it then.”</p> + +<p>Lilian was glad to do it. She knew a person of refinement and education +would see what her mother missed and perhaps doubt her ability. She made +a draft and read it aloud to Mrs. Boyd.</p> + +<p>“It sounds beautiful; I couldn’t have done it.”</p> + +<p>Was it education that gave one the power, the sense of what was +appropriate, or some underlying fact that she dared not face? What if it +had been a great mistake in that far back time? Could it ever be +remedied?</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, I thought last night that I shouldn’t want to live if I +could never reach <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_10" id="pg_10">10</a></span>any of my aims. When I hear delicious music I feel it +in my very finger ends. When I read about pictures and statuary and +magnificent churches I can almost see them, and a rift in the sky, an +autumnal branch of red brown leaves, nooks that I have seen now and +then, looks that are grand and high and beautiful stir my very soul. +Where did I get this from? Was my father—”</p> + +<p>She looked really beautiful standing there, her eyes full of +inspiration, her cheeks aglow, her scarlet lips quivering. Mrs. Boyd +trembled with a mysterious chill, and a shiver went over her.</p> + +<p>“Oh, no, no! he was a plain man, a good, honest man”—her voice failed.</p> + +<p>“And if he had lived we should have been very happy, I know; and I did +like the boarding house better. I wish we could have kept it, but to sit +here day after day and not see any way out of the narrow distasteful +life, feeling as if you could fly—am I wicked? Poor little mother do I +frighten you? Oh, don’t cry, I am going to be a good daughter and not +wish for impossible things if this comes true.”</p> + +<p>She clasped her mother’s hands that were seldom idle so long. How thin +they were with dullish, prominent veins. The mother looked <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_11" id="pg_11">11</a></span>past her +child rather than at her, but she could feel the glowing, spirited force +like a ghost out of the past that shook its upbraiding finger at her. +She leaned her face on Lilian’s breast.</p> + +<p>“Poor mother, dear mother,” in a sweet comforting tone. “I’m afraid I +haven’t always been a loving daughter, but whatever comes we will share +it together. In a few years I will be working for you, that is the +splendid side to this offer.”</p> + +<p>“But—if you shouldn’t be—some girls, young ladies think they must draw +a line—”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I shall not mind that if I suit Mrs. Barrington. I shall go to work +and to study, and when I reach some high place in teaching, I shall +smile over those petty things. A boy gets praised when he works for his +education, why shouldn’t a girl?”</p> + +<p>Then she brought out her paper and wrote her letter. She wished her +stationery had been finer, but she would not spend the money to gratify +pride. Then she went and posted it and bought some little luxuries for +dinner. After they had partaken of it she made her mother lie down and +take a good rest while she went over some of her school books and worked +out several problems.</p> + +<p>Yet the waiting was very wearing. Sally <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_12" id="pg_12">12</a></span>came after having had a +splendid time at the Rest House and said she, Lilian, could come in two +weeks. She wrote a letter to her mother’s friend Mrs. Searing who was +most happy that they had accepted the position, and enclosed a +ten-dollar note to buy some of the little things young girls long for.</p> + +<p>They took out last winter’s clothing, but alas, it was outgrown and well +worn.</p> + +<p>“When we hear you must have a new outfit,” the mother commented.</p> + +<p>“But it seems dreadful to break into your last resource,” said the girl +regretfully.</p> + +<p>“But I shall be able to replace it from my salary, for as you said we +shall have no expense in the future for living. Oh, what a blessed +relief! Mrs. Searing has been our good providence.”</p> + +<p>“And you are quite happy about it?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, oh yes!”</p> + +<p>The mother watched her elastic step, her proud carriage, the attractive +face that had so much vigor and purpose. Oh, she was not of her kind. At +times the thought was terrifying.</p> + +<p>Then the longed for letter came. It began:</p> + +<p>“My dear Miss Boyd. I was much pleased with your letter and the +consideration evinced <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_13" id="pg_13">13</a></span>for your mother. I hope the change will benefit +her. Mount Morris is considered a very healthy place and it is certainly +beautiful. I hope you will both be very happy here, and you seem not +only an ambitious girl but quite willing to work for the things you +desire.” Then follows a description of the school and the duties, and +what would be expected of the mother, the routes of travel and several +time tables enclosed. Mrs. Barrington would like them to come as soon +after the 20th of August as they could.</p> + +<p>Lilian could not conceal her joy. They shopped a little, finding some +bargains from early spring left-overs. They packed up a few things and +disposed of the rest. Lilian’s few friends were surprised. Sally hoped +she would not be disappointed.</p> + +<p>“Mount Morris has such a pretty sound,” exclaimed Lilian, “and I think +Mrs. Barrington is a tall and stately woman with the grand beauty you +sometimes see in a picture. I want her complexion to be lovely and her +hair snowy white, and her voice like the music that makes you feel sorry +when it stops. I want to like her very much, and make myself useful to +her.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_14" id="pg_14">14</a></span>“I am quite sure she will like you,” returned the mother.</p> + +<p>Lilian felt as if she could dance and sing. Was there such a thing as +being too glad and happy? To go out of this poor old life with its +pinches, and the sordid economies to a lovely home! She read Mrs. +Searing’s letter over and over again. These were the things that +appealed to her, that she enjoyed in every fibre of her being. She +glanced at her mother. Why the face was almost stolid! Oh, that was +wicked! She had been so good and kind. Was it not the hard grind of +poverty and hopeless work, never making any advance, that quenched the +vitality of soul and brain? She must make her mark before hope dropped +out of the years. She had watched her teachers in a curious manner, +though she was too young to understand analysis of character. Some were +favorites, some had favorites, girls who were of the noted families or +had prosperity back of them. There were others, one she had liked very +much who seemed to study with you, to help you to understand. Her +classes always had many of the finest pupils. That was the kind of +teacher she meant to be.</p> + +<p>Of course there had been slights, sometimes sneers. These lilies of the +field in their fine <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_15" id="pg_15">15</a></span>array longed to crowd their mates out in the arid, +dusty highway. She stood her ground and she was a fine scholar. She was +helpful, too; she had no sneers or cruel laughs over the blunders of +others.</p> + +<p>A few of her mates were truly sorry to part with her and surprised to +find she was going to a high-up Seminary to be trained for a teacher. +The teacher she liked so much was away on her vacation.</p> + +<p>So they left the old noisy, dirty factory city. It was Lilian’s first +journey in the great world. And oh how large and beautiful it was! They +passed thriving towns, beautiful villages, great fields of waving corn, +fruit orchards, then towns again, rivers, lakes, high hills cleft by +rocky passes that sparkled in places as if set by gems. Then stretches +so serene so instinct with fairy beauty she drew long breaths and +dreamed of delightful futures, and what is a girl of sixteen filled with +a love of beauty and ambition worth if she cannot dream some grand +ventures.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd was not interested in the scenery. She gave a quiet assent to +the girl’s enthusiasms and presently Lilian ceased to appeal. It was so +when she had read stirring prose or exquisite poetry aloud.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_16" id="pg_16">16</a></span>Mrs. Boyd was going over her past life. It had been much in her mind +the last year. A commonplace factory girl earning her living, an orphan +at that. Her dream was a lover, presently, marriage, a little home, and +keeping it tidy, and babies of her very own. The lover came, a nice +steady machinist with a little education, saving up money, marriage and +the home of a few rooms, buying this and that of the simplest kind, and +then the baby, a nice, plump, blue-eyed boy who grew apace and was the +delight of both. What more could she ask for? That was certainly +content.</p> + +<p>He took out a small life insurance, though it almost broke her heart to +think of his dying. And she never dreamed of the baby. He was so well +and strong and joyous. Yet a few days’ illness swept him out of the +world, and almost broke their hearts. Then a little girl came. She liked +girls the best, they were more to the mother. She could make their +clothes, they could go out together. Then lovers would come and +marriage, and all the everyday interest of new lives.</p> + +<p>One sad day James Boyd was brought home dead. Something had gone wrong +with the machinery and before it could be stopped his life had been +beaten out. Neighbors were <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_17" id="pg_17">17</a></span>kind to her, the employer took charge of the +funeral, but there were other sorrows and losses in the world.</p> + +<p>She had one brother of whom she had seen very little, as he had gone +West when a mere boy. He had a big farm and five children and he wrote +for her to come out, as his wife had recently died. The steady home +looked so inviting. Yes, she would go.</p> + +<p>The life insurance had been well invested by a friend of her husbands’.</p> + +<p>“Don’t disturb it,” he counseled. “You may not like it there and want to +come back, and your brother may marry again. There’s enough to give you +a nice start in something.”</p> + +<p>If she had never gone! How many times she had wondered! For midway in +the journey there was a horrible accident in a small town where two +roads crossed. The child flew out of her arms and she lay unconscious. +There was no hospital. Kindly neighbors took in the wounded and the +dead.</p> + +<p>When she came to herself one morning the child was fretting and she +nursed it. She could not remember distinctly, but they were both alive +and she gave thanks as she hugged the child to her heart.</p> + +<p>“Will you have some breakfast? You had <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_18" id="pg_18">18</a></span>a good natural sleep last night, +and the baby is all right. The other poor baby was killed and its mother +is dying, maybe dead now. There was so much confusion. The baggage car +was wrecked and burned, the trunks lost, and it seems so hard to get on +track of relatives. Some cannot be identified.”</p> + +<p>The listener shuddered. Then the breakfast came and she ate it with an +eager appetite.</p> + +<p>“You might try getting up by and by. The railroad company are doing all +they can and sending passengers to their destination.”</p> + +<p>“When was it?” in a tremulous tone.</p> + +<p>“Two days ago; well, it will be three tonight. It was hardly midnight +when it happened. I never was in an accident before. It was awful.”</p> + +<p>Emma Boyd sat up in the bed and took the child in her arms, studying it +earnestly. Oh, how sweet and rosy it was with its dimpled mouth and its +fringe of soft hair. Then she laid it down and crept out of bed, feeling +rather shaky, but having the use of all her limbs. There was the dress +hanging on her chair. She wondered what would be done. Should she go on?</p> + +<p>There was another pocket in the side of her <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_19" id="pg_19">19</a></span>skirt and she felt for +that. There was the remainder of her trip ticket and some money. She had +only put a small amount in her satchel and that was safe as well. +Rescuers had been honest. Was it a token that she should go on?</p> + +<p>The official was in that afternoon and made her a general allowance, she +thought, for her losses. There would be a through train at nine the next +morning if she was able to go.</p> + +<p>“Could I see the—the other lady. How was the baby hurt?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, it was all crushed. The mother was killed. One of the passengers +recognized her and the lady, and though you were stunned for a long +while you came partly to, and called for your baby. So we brought it, +and although you were not quite rational you were so happy with it and +improved rapidly. You’ve been fortunate, ma’am.”</p> + +<p>“Yes,” with a queer, frightened sound.</p> + +<p>“She’s a beautiful woman and belongs to the quality, but her hip is +broken and her back twisted, and there’s something hurt in her head. She +can’t live—we thought her dead in the night. It’s a blessing the poor +baby has gone.”</p> + +<p>She lay like marble. A beautiful woman, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_20" id="pg_20">20</a></span>truly. The eyelids with their +long lashes looked as if they were carven. There was only an infrequent +sign of respiration.</p> + +<p>“We hope we are on the track of some one belonging to her. The doctors +want her moved to the hospital.”</p> + +<p>The next morning Emma Boyd journeyed out to her brother’s. A coarse, +common, loud voiced farmer, rough and unkempt and five unruly children. +She was appalled, and a dreary stretch of prairie land with hardly a +neighbor in sight. Why she had been crazy to come! and she found farm +work quite too hard for her. She had better be housemaid at Laconia, or +go in the mills again. And when her brother found she had a little money +he was eager to get hold of it. Yes, she had better return to her native +town, especially as her brother was meaning to marry again.</p> + +<p>So she came back to Laconia which was a manufacturing town with iron +mines at its elbow. There were varying fortunes as there often is with +the poor. Mill work when she had to leave the child alone, then a +boarding house which really prospered, but was sold with some other +property for a big factory. Then housekeeping for a nervous invalid +wife, and here she had met Mrs. Searing who <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_21" id="pg_21">21</a></span>had proved a true friend. +After that sewing, making skirts for a dressmaker and working at +childrens’ clothes. When it was dull times they drew on the little fund. +The girl was ambitious and had mapped out her own life, different from +what her mother had planned. They loved each other but it was as if two +foreign natures were trying to assimilate and there was no conformable +ground for perfect harmony. Yes, she would take this last step for the +girl’s sake; she owed it to her.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_22" id="pg_22">22</a></span> +<a name="A_NEW_OUTLOOK_566" id="A_NEW_OUTLOOK_566"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER II</h2> +<h3>A NEW OUTLOOK</h3> +</div> + +<p>Lilian Boyd glanced around the station at Mount Morris with a kind of +joyous surprise and wonder. The beautiful town with its straight +streets, some of them with a narrow park in the centre, houses that were +palatial to her inexperienced eyes, with terraced lawns, wide porches, +graceful shrubbery and a profusion of flowers. True, the station was +quite at one side and a little farther down the road crossed the river +that went meandering along, too winding and shallow for business +purposes. Opposite there was a succession of wooded hills with here and +there a stately residence.</p> + +<p>“How beautiful, mother!” Lilian cried, moved in every pulse of her +being, her eyes lustrous with tears, her lips quivering.</p> + +<p>The beauty did not so move the mother. She was embarrassed and shrank +when the coachman with an authoritative air approached them.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Boyd?” tentatively. There had been but few passengers and they had +gone their way.</p> + +<p>She glanced timidly at Lilian who answered for her.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_23" id="pg_23">23</a></span>“Give me your checks, please, and I will order the trunks sent up.”</p> + +<p>“There is only one,” in a deprecating tone.</p> + +<p>Lilian was glad she had insisted on a nice new trunk.</p> + +<p>“This way please,” and he took the girl’s satchel. Mrs. Boyd followed +rather than led, but her daughter stood aside so that she should be +assisted in first.</p> + +<p>“What a beautiful town!” she exclaimed involuntarily. She had a feeling +that they were recovering from a reverse of fortune and this was their +rightful place. Then she smiled at the absurdity.</p> + +<p>Mount Morris Seminary was rather at the lower part of the town, and a +long level stretched between that and the river, broken by a few clumps +of shrubbery. The house was a handsome old style building, colonial in +its aspect with its broad piazza and fluted columns going up to the +second story.</p> + +<p>There was an imposing entrance, but the porte cochere was at the side +where the wide screen door showed a sort of reception hall, furnished +with willow and splint belongings, a table with magazines and papers and +two great jars of ferns.</p> + +<p>A tidy maid received them. “Would they <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_24" id="pg_24">24</a></span>please be seated, Mrs. +Barrington would be down in a moment.”</p> + +<p>Lilian drew a long breath of rapture. To live in a place like this! To +wander in the beautiful garden, to work and study in such inspiring +environments. Yes, she had come to work as well. She had been too young +to discriminate, but in an instant she seemed to realize how bitter the +struggle with poverty and discouragement had been, the hurry with hardly +an hour’s real enjoyment. No wonder it had made her mother worn and +hesitating, fearful, and here everything was so leisurely aspected.</p> + +<p>She heard the soft trail of a gown over the stairs and rose in eager +expectancy.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington was a handsome woman at sixty, tall and straight, with a +gracious presence. Her hair was snowy white as the girl had hoped and +lay in loose waves about her forehead. Her dark eyes were not easily +evaded, but her manner of smiling serenity was in itself a welcome.</p> + +<p>“I am afraid it has been a long and tiresome journey in this warm +weather, but a few days’ rest will restore you I hope. You look very +delicate, Mrs. Boyd.”</p> + +<p>She gave the hand a friendly pressure.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_25" id="pg_25">25</a></span>“Mother had so much to do before we started,” explained Lilian, “and +the change—”</p> + +<p>“And the parting with old friends,” with her sympathetic smile. “I hope +you will soon feel at home and like us all. Mrs. Searing gave you both +such an excellent recommendation, and I confess I take a warm interest +in girls who are eager for advancement. Now allow me to show you to your +room and shall I send you up some tea? That is a rather pleasant English +fashion, I am glad you came so promptly for my housekeeper has gone on +her vacation and we shall have the better chance to get acquainted.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank you,” said Lilian warmly.</p> + +<p>They followed her up the stairs where a cross hall led to a wing. The +room was large with two single beds, the windows in white drapery, a +capacious bureau, a dressing table, a washing stand in a recess, a +writing desk and some book shelves. It looked so cozy and inviting.</p> + +<p>“I will send up the tea, and I think your mother had better take a rest. +If you like to come down you will find me in the hall.”</p> + +<p>“Thank you,” she replied. “I shall be glad to come.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_26" id="pg_26">26</a></span>She took her mother’s bonnet and wrap and placed her in the rocking +chair.</p> + +<p>“Oh, isn’t this a splendid closet? It’s like another room. We are going +to be so happy here; I feel it in every pulse. Heaven bless Mrs. Searing +for finding us this shelter. Now drink this cup of tea. Thank you,” to +the maid.</p> + +<p>It was reviving.</p> + +<p>Lilian brushed out her dress and smoothed her hair. Her coat had left +some wrinkles in her shirtwaist, but she stretched and patted them out. +Then when she had seen her mother comfortable on the bed, she came down. +Even the little freshening made her look bright and rosy and her eyes +were vivid with the light of pleasure.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington had a bit of fancy work in her hands which were white +and shapely. She studied the young girl. It seemed to call up something +from the long past years that eluded and yet piqued her. How different +she was from the mother.</p> + +<p>“Have you always lived in that western town, Laconia, I believe it is, +and was it your mother’s birthplace?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I am quite sure. I was away once as a baby. Mother went to her +brother’s after <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_27" id="pg_27">27</a></span>father died but did not like it, and Laconia is an ugly +manufacturing town of smoke and grime, but it is said to have a fine +High School. Of course there are some rich manufacturers.”</p> + +<p>“How long were you in it?”</p> + +<p>“Two years, and I was fairly broken hearted at the thought of not +completing the course, but mother wasn’t strong as she had been, +and”—yes, she would be bravely honest—“we were poor, mother’s little +money was almost spent. Boys supported themselves while they are +studying, why shouldn’t girls?”</p> + +<p>Oh, where had she seen just that proud uplifting look! It puzzled the +lady.</p> + +<p>“I am always pleased to help an ambitious girl along, and you have a +dignity which will be a great aid in teaching. Mrs. Searing said that +was your desire.”</p> + +<p>“I love to study. I think I shall love to teach, and sometime I hope to +go to college.”</p> + +<p>“I think you will work your way there. What branches were you in?”</p> + +<p>Lilian was very frank. She showed that she was a thorough student. +History was one of her delights. Latin was the only language admitted +until the third year, and in mathematics she seemed well grounded.</p> + +<p>“I want some one to take charge of a few <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_28" id="pg_28">28</a></span>of the younger classes and be +of service in the study hour from eight to nine. I think you will fit in +admirably, but do you think your mother is quite strong enough?”—and +she paused.</p> + +<p>“Oh, she is used to sewing of all kinds. She is very tired now and I +think she has been worried all the time lest something should go wrong +with this nice offer. You see sewing is not very profitable ordinarily +unless you can do high up dressmaking or are forewoman in some factory, +and I couldn’t sew for a living. It is one thing over and over. You are +never learning anything new, broadening out, enjoying the wisdom of the +master minds, the beautiful poetry, the grand philosophies. Oh, am I a +very romantic or conceited girl?” and she paused with a bright flush.</p> + +<p>“You are meant for a scholar.”</p> + +<p>Just that instant the trunk came and Lilian excused herself and went up +with it. Her mother was up and looked rested.</p> + +<p>“And please put on that black and white lawn, even if it is a little +crumpled, and my white batiste always shakes out. It is nice if it isn’t +very fine.”</p> + +<p>The bell sounded and they went down. The table was laid in the pretty +little tea room. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_29" id="pg_29">29</a></span>Lilian ate and drank with a sensation of delight. The +china was so delicate, the table so beautifully arranged, the serving so +perfect. Often in reading a story Lilian had fancied herself the heroine +and enjoyed the feast.</p> + +<p>The child has much finer breeding than the mother, Mrs. Barrington +mused. She almost fancied she detected something furtive about Mrs. +Boyd. Was she being won by the girl’s proud face to the detriment of the +mother? It seemed to her that Mrs. Boyd stood in awe of her daughter.</p> + +<p>Afterward they went to the parlor which was a fine large room splendidly +furnished, Lilian thought. There was a grand piano, an organ, two +beautiful marbles, vases and pictures. There was a wide hall that was +like another room. Here on the west side was the school and recitation +rooms, the girl’s dining room and a commodious kitchen.</p> + +<p>“Will you go up stairs?” asked Mrs. Barrington.</p> + +<p>Lilian answered eagerly, Mrs. Boyd followed.</p> + +<p>Over this side were the dormitories and baths. Some rooms accommodated +two beds, others only one. They were neat and pleasant and had been +lately put in order.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_30" id="pg_30">30</a></span>“I do not care for more than twenty boarding pupils,” explained Mrs. +Barrington. “That makes a nice family with sufficient variety of +character. I am much interested in the development of girls, and the +town has nothing detrimental in it. We have a fine music hall where +there are concerts and lectures, occasionally a play, and a nice +library. The walks and drives about are beautiful.”</p> + +<p>The hall was not so wide up here. There were two entrances to the family +side, the one to Mrs. Barrington’s rooms which was divided by a short +hall from those of the assistants. Two of the teachers lived at the +school, though one of them had a room where she could be in touch with +the girls.</p> + +<p>When they reached her room Mrs. Boyd said—</p> + +<p>“If you don’t mind I will retire. I am so little used to long journeys +that this has fatigued me. No, Lilian you need not stay. I shall not +want anything. By morning I shall be rested,” and she waved her away.</p> + +<p>“Are you quite sure?” asked the girl, “and you will not be lonely?”</p> + +<p>“Oh no, I shall enjoy the quiet.”</p> + +<p>“Are you fond of music?” asked Mrs. Barrington. “Shall I play a little +for you?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_31" id="pg_31">31</a></span>“Oh, that would be delightful. I have heard very little that might be +called refined music.”</p> + +<p>Then she knew the difference.</p> + +<p>She was charmed, though the hostess played mostly the simpler things. +She thought she could have listened all night.</p> + +<p>A night’s rest refreshed Mrs. Boyd very much and the certainty that +Lilian had found a good friend. For she knew she could not stand the +struggle much longer. She was really worn out.</p> + +<p>Her duties were explained in a very kindly manner. There were the linen +closets at hand, the bedding that she was to deal out as it was needed, +the table napery. What she did for the girls was quite her own affairs.</p> + +<p>“And you must not allow them to impose on you. My rule is that all small +bills must be settled once a month. Most of the girls get their +allowance then. You will have considerable leisure for yourself. I hope +you will soon feel very much at home.”</p> + +<p>As for Lilian she seemed in an enchanted land. Such stores of splendid +reading, such a magnificent out of doors! She and her mother were sent +out to drive, and the town was like the places she had read about in +books or the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_32" id="pg_32">32</a></span>higher grade monthly papers. Then Mrs. Dane, the +housekeeper, returned and Miss Arran, who was a kind of secretary, took +her outing.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane was a tall, rather severe looking person. All disputes with +the servants and any discomforts in the rooms were under her +jurisdiction. Why it was like a little kingdom in itself.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Boyd doesn’t look very robust and seems rather timid, uncertain, +though if she is capable—” Mrs. Dane began rather sharply.</p> + +<p>“She has been seamstress to a dressmaker for several years. I fancy she +has had it pretty hard for the last year or two, but Miss Lilian is very +bright and energetic, only I am afraid she will hold her head rather too +high.”</p> + +<p>“I fancy she will make an excellent teacher. That is her aim.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington had looked through the big book of photographs of school +girls. Some turns of the head, some glances and a sound in the voice +still puzzled her, but it was connected with something in the past. Few +young girls made characteristic portraits. Ah, here was one who had just +that poise, that eager ambitious expression. A Miss Mortimer who +certainly possessed fine abilities, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_33" id="pg_33">33</a></span>and a resonant voice. She had taken +the lead in school entertainments, and then she had joined a theatrical +troupe and married a third rate actor, to the lady’s great +disappointment.</p> + +<p>“There is some likeness,” she mused, “only the voice is much gentler, +more truly musical. It must be that is the elusive suggestion, and Miss +Boyd is wild over Shakespeare. It shall be my purpose to prevent her +from being an actress, unless she can stand in the front ranks.”</p> + +<p>Lilian and Miss Arran became friends almost at once. Both were fond of +walking, and to Lilian the beautiful aspect of the town, the woods and +the picturesque river with its many windings and suggestive nooks where +she always found a new touch of beauty stirred her with a vivid and +intense delight.</p> + +<p>Then the real life began. Girls trouped in, trunks were set down with a +thump or oftener carried up on the third floor for unpacking. Girls in +the remnant of summer suits, for it was still warm, others in cloth or +serge, laughing chatting, running to and fro. How bright and merry it +all was!</p> + +<p>It took some time to get settled. The first grade girls who were to be +the next year graduates, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_34" id="pg_34">34</a></span>if they chose, were at one table with Mrs. +Barrington and Madame Eustis, the French teacher; the other had Miss +Arran, Miss Davis, and the new scholars or the second grade old ones. +Lilian was at this table, though they could have their meals in their +own rooms.</p> + +<p>She felt very sorry for her neighbor, Alice Nevins, who was dreadfully +homesick and scarcely tasted anything, winking desperately to keep her +eyes from overflowing. Some of them looked very bright and jolly.</p> + +<p>“Girls,” exclaimed Louie Howe, as a group gathered on the lawn, “there’s +a new pupil teacher, and you know that’s one of Mrs. Barrington’s fads. +Last year’s girl wasn’t much of a success it seems. I think it’s that +lanky girl in brown silk who looks half frightened out of her wits, and +her mother is the seamstress and caretaker. I wouldn’t have put her in +brown silk with that dull brown hair and wretched complexion.”</p> + +<p>“Thank fortune she isn’t at our table!”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Barrington wouldn’t put such a looking object with us. She +really doesn’t know enough to last over night. There are eight new +scholars, three with us come for finishing touches, five in the second +grade.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_35" id="pg_35">35</a></span>“There’s a girl I’d like to know with that splendid light hair, just +the least bit wavy. She sat opposite Miss Arran, and had a blue lawn +frock with the baby waist and lace yoke. She is fine looking; a little +too grave to be handsome, but her complexion is lovely. She’s a princess +in disguise, I can tell by the way she holds her head. I shall throw +myself at her feet when I get a chance. It is a case of love at first +sight. There she is with that brown girl. I’d go over but I am afraid of +being snubbed. I do wonder who she can be, and there she’s taking that +Elma Ransom under her wing. It will take the child five years to get up +to our first division.” “That brown girl as you call her is a Miss +Nevins. Her parents have gone abroad, I’ve learned that much, and they +are well to do. That is the golden mean between comparative and great +wealth. Miss Vincent introduced her to me, and then she turned her to +that rather striking looking girl.”</p> + +<p>“And which do you suppose is Miss Boyd? Or has she run back to mamma’s +sheltering wing?”</p> + +<p>“I think she has discreetly retired. We must make some excuse to get in +to our lady of the needle. I’m sorry Miss Nevins isn’t <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_36" id="pg_36">36</a></span>better looking +if she has plenty of money.”</p> + +<p>“Well, the gods were just this time. She will need the money to illumine +her pathway. Just see that girl in the blue frock. Why, they are +thronging about her.”</p> + +<p>Louie Howe went over and caught little Elma Ransome by the arms. She was +short and rather plump with an infantile face that made her look younger +than her years.</p> + +<p>“Why Elly, I’m glad to see you back. Now this year you must study hard +and fill up some of the vacancies we graduates make.” Then she glanced +around the group.</p> + +<p>Elma flushed and then said a little awkwardly—“This is Miss Boyd, and +this Miss Nevins, and—I don’t know all the names yet.”</p> + +<p>“You have more new scholars than we.” Then she made a stiff little bow +and turned away to her own group.</p> + +<p>“Girls, what <i>do</i> you think? Why, I nearly fainted with surprise. ‘Looks +<i>is</i> often deceiving.’ That girl I thought a princess in disguise is +Miss Boyd. Why she has airs and graces enough to amaze you. If her +mother is like that, will we ever dare to ask her to darn our +stockings?”</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd!” exclaimed a chorus of voices.</p> + +<p>“Well, it’s good we have learned the fact <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_37" id="pg_37">37</a></span>at once so we shall not make +any blunders. She’ll be a sort of charity scholar working for her board +and training. Of course we shan’t have anything to do with her as she +isn’t in our set. Though it wouldn’t be so bad but for the mother.”</p> + +<p>“That’s real snobbish, Louie,” said a girl.</p> + +<p>“Well, I don’t know, you have a right to choose your friends, and I +heard Mrs. Dane say something about their being very poor.”</p> + +<p>“Well, she’s stylish and she has an air, and Mrs. Barrington wouldn’t +take in any one objectionable. If my father should die I might be glad +to have some one take me in, and I expect to teach when I am through. +You see father has four more to educate.”</p> + +<p>“Well, Mattie Vincent, you can make a bosom friend of her for all that I +care.”</p> + +<p>“Oh girls, don’t let’s quarrel about her when we have just come and are +glad to see each other. I dare say Miss Boyd wont trouble us.”</p> + +<p>“She’ll be pushing, and aspiring to the best—you’ll see! One can tell +by the way she holds her head, and she <i>could</i> stare you out of +countenance with those bold black eyes. I shall keep on my guard. You’ll +see me take her down if she presumes.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_38" id="pg_38">38</a></span>But Lilian Boyd did not presume. She went to church with her mother on +Sunday in a simple white pique frock, and spent the evening on the back +porch with Miss Arran, not even going in the parlor for the singing, and +on Monday school duties began. The classes received considerable +accessions from the day scholars. Lilian had two of the younger classes +and she found a real pleasure in the teaching. Then she was in the Latin +class and proved herself an excellent scholar.</p> + +<p>The evening hour was sometimes rather trying. Some of the girls asked +foolish questions just to perplex her. Occasionally she suggested they +should ask Miss Davis. The younger ones were quite tractable, though now +and then a spirit of fun broke out, set a-foot generally by the larger +girls.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_39" id="pg_39">39</a></span> +<a name="FOOD_FOR_CONSIDERATION_980" id="FOOD_FOR_CONSIDERATION_980"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER III</h2> +<h3>FOOD FOR CONSIDERATION</h3> +</div> + +<p>Lilian Boyd did not want to cross the line of division that was acutely +felt and yet so nicely projected that a faint move on her part would +bring about a rebuff. She had the youthful longing for girlish +friendships, for little confidences about books they liked, about aims +and the future. Some of the pupils were so attractive; and it was +because she was the caretaker’s daughter; she saw it when they came in +to her mother with any errand, when they passed her in the halls with a +supercilious nod.</p> + +<p>But then, why need she care? They would go their way presently and she +might remain. She knew she had won Mrs. Barrington’s favor. That lady +made it a point of her joining the Sunday evening singing and she found +that she had a good, flexible voice.</p> + +<p>One lovely October afternoon she thought she would walk down to the +river whose banks were now a blaze of color. Some one called and she +turned. It was Alice Nevins who <i>was</i> sometimes tiresome. The girls were +going down in town and one of them had really asked her if she would not +like to join them. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_40" id="pg_40">40</a></span>A gratified light shone in her eyes for a moment. +There was something in the other’s face that gave her a quick warning. +There was some plot underneath.</p> + +<p>“Thank you very much but I cannot go this afternoon. I hope you will all +have a nice time.”</p> + +<p>Then she went to her room. Her mother was folding up some sewing. “There +is so little to do,” and she smiled vaguely.</p> + +<p>“Come out and walk with me.”</p> + +<p>“No, I don’t feel equal to it, I will put a shawl about me and sit on +the porch.”</p> + +<p>“Shall I come and read to you?”</p> + +<p>“No, dear, it is an effort to listen. I’ll just sit and think.”</p> + +<p>“Mother, are you satisfied here?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, my child, I could not have dreamed of anything so comfortable, and +for your sake—you are happy?” with a touch of wistfulness.</p> + +<p>“Oh, it is so delightful, and then to think that I shall fit myself for +a nice position presently. Then mother dear we will have a few rooms and +a real home again.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you are so good,” in a tremulous tone.</p> + +<p>Lilian kissed her. She wondered why her mother’s eyes rested on her at +times with <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_41" id="pg_41">41</a></span>that unfathomable look and the lips would move, then +suddenly compress.</p> + +<p>So she walked down past the summer house where the Virginia creeper was +flaunting long scarlet branches in the wind.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Miss Boyd!”</p> + +<p>She turned. Alice Nevins ran out. Her face was red and swollen with +weeping.</p> + +<p>“Oh, what is the matter?”</p> + +<p>“Let me come with you? Oh, I’m so homesick, and I just hate some of the +girls. They laugh when I blunder. I don’t know things. I just hate +school! Papa <i>would</i> send me here. Mamma begged to take me abroad. I’m +sure I could have learned a great many things. People say travel is an +education. I hate to study books. Do you really love it?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, very much, and for all it brings to you. Were you never at school +before?”</p> + +<p>“Only a little. Then I had a governess. You see, I was growing fast and +mamma thought I oughtn’t study. She wasn’t very well and papa wanted to +take her somewhere in Italy, and he sent me here, and some of the girls +<i>do</i> make fun of me. Can’t you <i>feel</i> it when they are laughing at you?”</p> + +<p>Lilian flushed. “I try to think of something <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_42" id="pg_42">42</a></span>else. They are not really +worth minding.”</p> + +<p>“I know I’m not pretty. Oh, I wish I were! And you have such a lovely +complexion. How is it made up?”</p> + +<p>“Made up? What do you mean?”</p> + +<p>“One of the girls said it was, and that sometimes you painted.”</p> + +<p>Lilian was angry then.</p> + +<p>“My paint and powder are soap and water,” she returned, indignantly. “It +is a shame for a young girl to do such things.”</p> + +<p>“But you <i>are</i> pretty. Must your mother be the caretaker here? What does +she have to do?”</p> + +<p>“She looks after the sewing and the mending. Yes, because we are poor, +we both have to earn our living. Some day I mean to teach and take care +of her.”</p> + +<p>“Where is your father?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, he died when I was a baby.”</p> + +<p>“Well—I’m awful sorry. Do you like that Phillipa Rosewald?”</p> + +<p>“I don’t know much about her.”</p> + +<p>“She makes fun of so many things, and she tells you words that sound +wrong when you pronounce them. I said something yesterday and the girls +giggled and Miss Davis thought <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_43" id="pg_43">43</a></span>I did it purposely and I was marked +down.”</p> + +<p>“It was a very mean thing,” Lilian’s cheek glowed with indignation.</p> + +<p>“Then Miss Rosewald tells such funny stories. Four or five of the girls +just hang together and they think they are everything. But I guess +father is as rich as any of their fathers. Only I wish I was real +handsome.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear, I would think of my studies instead. Now let us talk them +over. What is it that bothers you most?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, everything.”</p> + +<p>“But you <i>must</i> study. Now, won’t you try this evening. I’ll help you +all I can.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I wish I was with mamma. I shall just tell her that I hate school. +What’s the use of so much education anyhow? Girls get married.”</p> + +<p>Lilian felt that Mrs. Nevins was a very poor mother not to have taught +her daughter a little common sense. Then she asked how old Alice was.</p> + +<p>“I was fifteen last May.”</p> + +<p>“And I will be sixteen in June. I wasn’t quite fourteen when I was +promoted to the High School, where I spent two years.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, but I’m not going to teach or anything. Mamma said she would be +sure to <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_44" id="pg_44">44</a></span>send for me next vacation, but that is almost nine dreary +months away,” with a profound sigh.</p> + +<p>“And you ought to learn a good deal in that time, so that you will not +be classed with the ignorant and conceited girls who think their money +will cover everything. There are so many young people going abroad +nowadays, college girls who have all the nice points of travel by +heart?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear, I just can’t study!” desperately.</p> + +<p>“Oh, try. Now this evening I will help you. You see,” smiling, “very +little knowledge comes natural. It is true some acquire easier than +others, but it is the continued effort after all.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear, I wish you had been my sister. Papa is always bemoaning that +there are not more of us, but mamma says if there were I would have to +go without many things. I’ve some lovely jewelry but papa would put it +in the safe deposit, and he went and bought this cheap little watch for +school. My nice one cost one hundred dollars. It’s a real beauty, and +mamma has lots of diamonds. I have two, they were birthday rings. Don’t +they have parties here when you dress up? I brought my pretty white +silk, and I have a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_45" id="pg_45">45</a></span>pink one with lots of lace, and my fur coat will be +sent to me, it is being altered a little. It’s real seal, and mother has +such a lovely Russian sable. Oh, I do like pretty clothes, but Mrs. +Barrington made out a list that seemed very plain for a high-up +finishing school—don’t you think so?”</p> + +<p>“I have not seen it. Most girls come to study and fit themselves for the +station they are to occupy. Unless you are going in society I think +there is little need of very fine clothes. Now let us talk a little +about your studies. Miss Davis feels quite concerned about you.”</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins pouted a little. Lilian felt her nice walk was spoiled so +she turned her attention to the ignorant girl who “just hated study.” +What a foolish mother she must have, while it seemed that her father was +far more sensible.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington stood on the porch as they returned. She detained Lilian +with a wave of the hand. When Miss Nevins was out of hearing she said in +an approving tone—</p> + +<p>“I am glad to see you take an interest in that poor child. Miss Davis +thinks her lamentably ignorant. I am really sorry I accepted her, but +her father wrote such urgent, sensible letters. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_46" id="pg_46">46</a></span>Her mother must be a +very foolish body and the girl is extremely backward. It is asking a +good deal of you to take a little pains with her, but I see that you +have an attractive way with you. You will make an excellent teacher, and +I hope to keep you a long while.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank you, I will try to do my best,” Lilian returned, delighted +with the praise.</p> + +<p>Miss Arran always came in the study room, generally bringing a bit of +embroidery for it was not expected that Miss Boyd should attend to the +upper division with some girls older than herself. The other class were +quite at the lower end of the room, ranged around the table. Miss Boyd +seated herself next to Miss Nevins and patiently explained, but it was +very hard to keep the girl’s attention to the subject in hand. She +thought she had never seen any one so utterly indifferent and with so +little ambition. There had been stolid, slow-witted girls among the +operatives in Laconia in the grammar school, but they really desired to +learn.</p> + +<p>Miss Davis paused the next day to say—</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd your good training does begin to take effect. Miss Nevins had +such excellent recitations today that I was pleased beyond measure. You +are way up in Mrs. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_47" id="pg_47">47</a></span>Barrington’s good graces, I can tell you.”</p> + +<p>Lilian flushed at the commendation.</p> + +<p>For the next hour the girls could have a social time in each others’ +rooms or the library. There was a crowd of eager talkers with Miss +Rosewald.</p> + +<p>“Yes,” she was saying. “I ran over the housekeeper just as she was +coming out of Rinsey’s. Zay will be here by the 20th, and she’s coming +right to school, for the Major and Mrs. Crawford are going to the +Mediterranean. The German doctors and the baths did wonders for her and +she can walk without crutches. A friend is to take them on his yacht and +they’ll be home at Christmas, and there will be Vincent’s graduation. +Dear me! I hope I can go up to West Point. They say the balls are +splendid. The Crawford house is to be all done over, and no doubt there +will be a big housewarming there.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, it will be just delightful to have Zay back again. I suppose that’s +the reason Miss White was put in with Buttons and that room fixed up so +nice. Mrs. Barrington has had word, of course. We just need her to round +out, I was going to say, the atmosphere. It’s too studious. Those +Kirkland girls are going to college, dearly loved cousins, quite +sufficient <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_48" id="pg_48">48</a></span>for themselves, and there’s that granery, yallery, Grosvenor +Gallery, one who writes poetry and is too lackadaisical for anything. +What we want is a rollicking, fun loving girl to start us.”</p> + +<p>“And something’s the matter with you, Phil. Have you been crossed in +love?”</p> + +<p>Phillipa Rosewald turned scarlet. “No,” she answered, “it’s two of them +and I can’t decide. One is rich and homely as a hedge fence and always +says <i>drawring</i> and <i>reel</i>, but has lots of money and a fair enough +family back of him. The other is handsome and oh, my! gay as a lark, but +he had about run through with a fortune, and I’m afraid he will flirt +now that the restraint of my serious and imposing presence is removed.”</p> + +<p>“Serious, that’s good. Why didn’t you say severe?”</p> + +<p>Phil’s love affairs were the entertainment of her coterie.</p> + +<p>“Oh, girls, did you notice—well, I have a new name for them. ‘Beauty +and the Beast.’ How devoted they were this evening!” broke in Louie +Howe.</p> + +<p>“Oh, you mean that Nevins girl? But <i>do</i> you call Miss Boyd handsome?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_49" id="pg_49">49</a></span>“Well—she has a fine complexion—”</p> + +<p>Louie wrinkled up her nose.</p> + +<p>—“and lots of beautiful hair, a good figure and regular features. Maybe +she lacks a certain style to make her noticeable—or something—”</p> + +<p>“Money and position. I don’t just see why a common sort of girl who has +to earn her living should be above the average, and that Nevins girl’s +father is one of the firm of bankers in New York and London, and she’s +horrid!”</p> + +<p>“Oh, girls,” exclaimed May Gedney, “they kissed each other last night in +the hall, a regular smack; I heard it. Fancy that pimply cheek being +pressed against yours! and that lap-over tooth that sticks her lips out, +and those pale gray-green eyes. Yes, Miss Boyd does look handsome by +contrast.”</p> + +<p>There was a great giggle. “We must watch the course of this ardent love. +Perhaps <i>she</i> understands the worth of contrast.”</p> + +<p>They went back to Zay Crawford, who was a general favorite. She and a +brother nine years older than herself, a passed midshipman had gone to +Germany in the summer, where her mother had been taking treatment. The +Major had accompanied her. Miss Crawford had taken over the young +people.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_50" id="pg_50">50</a></span>It was true, to Lilian’s surprise, that Alice Nevins had clasped both +arms around her and kissed her rapturously, exclaiming—“You are so +sweet! Oh, I wish mother and father would adopt you! I’d just like to +have you for a sister. I’ve never seen a girl before that I wanted.”</p> + +<p>Lilian freed herself and went to her room. She was not an effusive girl. +At Laconia she had made some friends, but she was too proud to aspire to +the higher ranks or accept overtures from them. She felt <i>sorry</i> for +Alice Nevins but there was no real companionship. Yet was there not a +duty? She seemed to occupy a peculiar position, and loved to listen to +the fascinating bits of talk, places one and another had seen, music, +operas, paintings, lectures, a knowledge of real things, not merely +those gleamed from books.</p> + +<p>Well, she must earn them herself. She used to dream of them at nights +when the lights were put out. She was changing curiously, she felt it +herself. It was not only in the added self-reliance, the nameless little +ways of refinement and grace the intuitive knowledge of what we call +good breeding, and the cordial smile of commendation from Mrs. +Barrington thrilled every pulse.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_51" id="pg_51">51</a></span>Mrs. Boyd was not vulgar but she was undeniably commonplace. High +thoughts such as stirred Lilian in verse, never roused her. Yet the girl +did feel indignant at times at the manner in which some of the girls +addressed her mother when they were uniformly polite to Miss Arran.</p> + +<p>She was quite undecided about her duty to Miss Nevins. The kiss had come +so suddenly she had no time to evade it but she took good care to do so +the next night. Lilian had never been an effusive girl. She had almost +broken her mother’s heart in her little more than babyhood, when after a +rapturous caress she had half pulled from the enclosing arms and said in +a willful fashion—“Don’t kiss me so hard, I don’t liked to be kissed!” +And later on when her mother had always called her Lily, she had said +emphatically—“Why don’t you call me Lilian! I’m too big a girl to be +called by such a baby name as Lily and I don’t like it.”</p> + +<p>That began a sort of gulf between them that the mother never had the +courage to bridge over. There was a curious dignity about her that even +the obtuse Miss Nevins could not surmount.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_52" id="pg_52">52</a></span>One day the girl brought her two beautiful orchids.</p> + +<p>“You’ve been so good about my lessons that I wanted to do something, and +these were”—hesitatingly—</p> + +<p>“Handsome and expensive,” in a chilling tone. “They were the finest +things the florist had, and mamma always sends me some money in her +letters, while papa sends my allowance to Mrs. Barrington. So I feel +that is clear gain,” laughing. “Mrs. Barrington is rather strict about +allowances, and she’s shut down on so much sweets and hot chocolates. Do +you think it hurts one’s complexion?”</p> + +<p>“It certainly hurts yours. I would give them up, and so much cake; the +regular school living is good enough, and you should take a cold bath in +the morning.”</p> + +<p>“Ouch! That would be horrid,” and the girl shuddered.</p> + +<p>“But you want to be beautiful!”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I am afraid that wouldn’t make me beautiful, and when I am quite +grown up I shall have lovely clothes, and it doesn’t so much matter when +you are rich.”</p> + +<p>Lilian glanced at her with a sort of pity that any girl could be so +silly, and a sense of disgust, also.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_53" id="pg_53">53</a></span>“Miss Nevins, I must say one thing that I want you to observe for the +future. You must not make me costly gifts nor any kind of gifts. The +help I am giving you Mrs. Barrington wishes me to give to any girl who +needs it. It is simply my duty, you see, and Mrs. Barrington repays me.”</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins looked as if she could not understand. Then she struck a +rather tragic pose.</p> + +<p>“Oh, if you would only love me!” she cried, clasping her hands together. +“I am so lonely! I miss mamma every hour. Then I think I could learn to +like it here, and I’d try to study. I’d give up cream soda and—yes, I +<i>would</i> take the bath, but it must be warm.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you foolish thing!” Lilian laughed in spite of herself. “There, I +cannot stay here talking, and you must go to your lessons.”</p> + +<p>“No, I’ll get some other girl and go down town. You are cold and cruel.”</p> + +<p>She was rather sullen all the evening and failed in some recitations the +next day. After that she studied with a better grace.</p> + +<p>“Miss Arran,” Lilian said on Sunday morning, “do you think I might take +mother to that little Chapel in Chester street. I think she would feel +more at home there.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_54" id="pg_54">54</a></span>“Oh, certainly. Mrs. Barrington insists that the girls shall attend at +least one service a Sunday. Then there is the Bible Class here, which +she makes very interesting. She and many of the girls go to Trinity, but +I like the Chapel a good deal myself. It is a Methodist, you know.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, mother was used to that service.”</p> + +<p>So they went together, though Louie Howe said—“We’ll manage it so +Beauty and the Beast will walk together,” but she missed her plan.</p> + +<p>It was a very simple and sweet service and the sermon was on hidden +sins. Lilian wondered if hers was undue pride, the desire to rise above +her station? She glanced at her mother. The tears were coursing silently +down her sunken cheeks. Was she missing the love a daughter ought to +give? She looked so frail and delicate that the girl’s heart went out to +her as it never had before.</p> + +<p>In the vestibule stood a sweet faced young woman waiting while an +elderly lady was talking to her friend. She came near and held out her +hand in a friendly manner.</p> + +<p>“You are a stranger here, but we are very glad to welcome you,” she +began cordially.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_55" id="pg_55">55</a></span>“You are one of the Seminary young ladies, I saw you on the porch one +day when I was passing.”</p> + +<p>“Yes,” Lilian returned, then added “in a way. And this is my mother, +Mrs. Boyd.”</p> + +<p>“And I am Miss Trenham. This is my mother.” The two ladies shook hands +in an old-fashioned manner.</p> + +<p>“Do you go up Elm Place? Then let us walk together. Is this your first +year here?”</p> + +<p>“Yes,” answered Lilian.</p> + +<p>“I hope you liked our clergyman and will come again.”</p> + +<p>“I think mother will feel more at home.”</p> + +<p>Miss Trenham smiled.</p> + +<p>“I come here largely for my mother’s sake. I think the simple service +comes nearer the heart of the older people. I like Trinity church, I +like the service of the whole year round, and the music is fine. I like +coming in the house of God with a reverent hymn. You are one of the +newer scholars, are you not?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, we came in August. My mother has a position in the household.” She +would not sail under false colors. “And I am to study for a teacher.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_56" id="pg_56">56</a></span>“Oh, then we’ll have a mutual bond. I am a teacher in the Franklin +School.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I know where that is,” with a smile.</p> + +<p>“You like your own school?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, it is delightful, and such a beautiful home. Such a lovely town—”</p> + +<p>Her face was radiant with pleasure. Then they paused.</p> + +<p>“We go on a few blocks further. We live in Gray street. I am very glad +to have met you. Shall I see you again next Sunday morning?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes,” promised Lilian.</p> + +<p>Then she took her mother’s arm.</p> + +<p>“Did you like it mother dear? I thought the service very simple and +sweet.”</p> + +<p>“And the lady was so friendly. I told her we were at the Seminary. The +daughter teaches school, and she asked me to visit them—to come to tea +some day. Do you suppose Mrs. Barrington would object? Would you like to +go?” timidly.</p> + +<p>“Why it would be very pleasant.”</p> + +<p>“Everybody seems so grand, I’m glad not to go to the high-up tables; I’m +so afraid of mistakes. You see when people get along in <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_57" id="pg_57">57</a></span>life it isn’t +so easy to take up new ways. But that Mrs. Trenham seemed like some of +the Laconia folks.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, we will go again next Sunday,” said Lilian. “And to tea the first +time we are invited.”</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_58" id="pg_58">58</a></span> +<a name="THE_GRACE_OF_ENDEAVOR_1452" id="THE_GRACE_OF_ENDEAVOR_1452"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER IV</h2> +<h3>THE GRACE OF ENDEAVOR</h3> +</div> + +<p>The door of Mrs. Boyd’s room stood partly open. Louie Howe gave a light +tap and marched in with an air that was rather insolent.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Boyd, I’ve given my walking dress such an awful tear! Mrs. +Barrington said she was quite sure you could mend it. You see I’m going +to a sort of musicale in about an hour and I couldn’t take it to the +tailors. It’s my best suit, too, and—it must be done very neatly.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd examined it. “Yes, it’s pretty bad, I’ve done worse though, +and part of it will be under the plait. Let me see if I have the right +color.”</p> + +<p>She opened a box of spools and took up several colors to match.</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes, here is one,” and she gave a smile of gratification.</p> + +<p>Louie dropped into a chair. Was she going to wait? Lilian wondered.</p> + +<p>“What a pleasant room this is, Mrs. Boyd! But all the rooms are just +cozy and nice. Of course Mrs. Barrington can afford to keep it in a +lovely fashion for her prices are high and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_59" id="pg_59">59</a></span>she doesn’t care to take any +scholars only from the best families. I do wonder how that Nevins girl +slipped in? Her father is a first-class banker, I have understood. They +have a big house in New York and a summer house at Elberon, and their +New York house is rented out for seven thousand dollars; but isn’t she a +terror? How do you stand her, Miss Boyd?”</p> + +<p>“She has had very little training. Her mother has been ill and seems +very indulgent,” answered Lilian quietly. “Yet she may make a very fair +scholar.”</p> + +<p>“It’s funny to hear her talk. Bragging, we call it. Do you suppose the +stories are true?”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington would know,” was the cautious reply.</p> + +<p>“Well, I suppose she must be satisfactory or she wouldn’t be here. But +there’s common blood back of her somewhere. Money doesn’t give you the +prestige of good birth. That always shows—don’t you think so?” with a +confident upward glance.</p> + +<p>“I have not had experience enough with the world to judge,” answered +Lilian. “We lived in a factory town—”</p> + +<p>“And in such places there are a good many newly rich, and they think +they have it all.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_60" id="pg_60">60</a></span>Mrs. Boyd had been straightening out the rent and basting it on a piece +of stiff paper.</p> + +<p>“I wonder if you would mind asking Mrs. Dane if there were irons on the +range.”</p> + +<p>She looked straight at Louie, not at all as if she was asking a favor. +Lilian was on her knees straightening and dusting the lower shelf of the +book case. She did not even turn her head.</p> + +<p>Miss Howe went out with what she thought was a stately step and frowned +at the girl on the floor whose business was to wait on her mother. When +she was clear out of sight and hearing Lilian sprang up and clasped her +arms about her mother.</p> + +<p>“Oh, that was just splendid!” she cried, her eyes soft and shining.</p> + +<p>“I—I think I meant—either of you!” hesitating.</p> + +<p>“It was her business and it won’t hurt her to wait on herself. The girls +go down to the kitchen and iron out ribbons and things. I’m not their +maid, and she had no business to stand here gossipping about Miss +Nevins. I’m sorry for her and I don’t like her, but there are some girls +that are real friendly. There are two girls going to college next year. +They have money, too, and they think a degree a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_61" id="pg_61">61</a></span>great thing, and know +of girls who have taught awhile and then taken a year or two and taught +again. I was reading such a fine book—this girl and her mother took a +cottage and boarded the overflow of girls and had a lovely time, she +helping and studying. That’s what we will try to do, and this year you +will get real well and strong. Oh, isn’t it nice not to have any care of +things and so much comfort?”</p> + +<p>The mother bent over her work turning her head aside so that a tear +shouldn’t fall on it. Oh, wouldn’t the child be better off without her? +She was so courageous, so fertile in expedients. Oh, they could not be +all day dreams.</p> + +<p>The skirt was beautifully darned and pressed and sent to Miss Howe’s +room by the maid. Then a note came to Mrs. Boyd. “Wouldn’t she and Miss +Lilian walk home with the Trenhams from church tomorrow morning and dine +and meet a delightful young friend who had graduated at a Woman’s +College. Lilian might like to hear the experiences.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, that will be just royal!” the girl exclaimed. “Mother you must rest +this afternoon. If there is any mending let me do it.”</p> + +<p>“Nothing is needed. Sometimes I feel as if <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_62" id="pg_62">62</a></span>I did not really earn my +salary, and Mrs. Barrington is so kind.”</p> + +<p>“And now I begin to feel quite at home with some of the young ladies. I +<i>am</i> proud of being a good scholar, but I study with all my might and +main,” laughing. “And next year I may earn a little money.”</p> + +<p>Sunday was bright but rather blowy. The leaves fell and whirled about +like flocks of birds and the sky was like a June day. Miss Benson had +come to church, a bright rather pretty woman of five or six and twenty. +Her voice was attractive. Lilian had come to remark the differences in +voices. Some did repel you; many were indecisive.</p> + +<p>They walked down to Elm place. This was the old end of the street in a +row of small detached houses with gardens running back to the next +street and a space of six feet or so between. The Trenham’s was in very +nice tidy order, the windows with neat white drapery.</p> + +<p>“Our next door neighbors are considered quite a detriment,” explained +Edith Trenham. “The woman professes to be a clairvoyant, and there are +five children, two very unruly boys. I do hope they will go away in the +spring.”</p> + +<p>Edith ushered her guests into the pretty <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_63" id="pg_63">63</a></span>parlor where the cheerful fire +seemed to radiate pleasure as well as heat. In a small wheeling chair +sat the invalid, a pale little girl of fifteen, but who looked years +younger. She held out her hand to Lilian.</p> + +<p>“Oh, what pleasure it is to see you,” she cried. “Your color is +radiant—like a June rose, isn’t it mamma? and such beautiful hair. +Edith is always well but she hasn’t much color. Oh, if you could have +seen our roses in June! They were bewildering. Don’t you feel that +gorgeous things sometimes are? Then the next door boys came over and +stole the roses and broke the bushes. I cried nearly all day. It seemed +as if I had been pulled to pieces. The mother said she was sorry but +that wouldn’t put the roses back.”</p> + +<p>“Claire you will find is quite a spoiled child,” Edith said, stooping to +kiss her. She was very pale and the dark hair framing in the little face +gave her an almost uncanny look.</p> + +<p>When they had laid aside their wraps Claire took possession of Lilian +again, and wanted to know about the girls in the Seminary.</p> + +<p>“Why, Claire, they are most all young ladies,” said Edith.</p> + +<p>“Well—are there many pretty ones? and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_64" id="pg_64">64</a></span>what do they do beside study? +They would get tired studying all the time.”</p> + +<p>Lilian explained that they visited in each others rooms and had +calisthenics and danced, and went through some beautiful evolutions with +Indian clubs—</p> + +<p>“Oh, how funny!” Claire interrupted. “Do they make believe they are +Indians?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, no,” and Lilian explained. They had a bell double quartette and +made lovely music by striking some sweet-toned bells with small wands, +and they were allowed to go down town. One evening a week there were +dances.</p> + +<p>“Oh, do you dance? You look that way?”</p> + +<p>Lilian colored. “You see I spend a good deal of my time with my mother. +Then I have lessons to learn—”</p> + +<p>“And I don’t study, I read delightful books. For you must know I can +never get about or do things like other children. I draw and I paint +over pictures, and I have an autoharp, and a beautiful big doll that I +make believe is alive and we go traveling. Edith reads about journeys.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Trenham had been adding a few last touches to the table which had +been mostly prepared in the morning, the real cooking having <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_65" id="pg_65">65</a></span>been done +the day before. Claire was lifted out in a cushioned chair and insisted +that Lilian should sit next. Miss Benson was on the other side and took +a turn with Lilian.</p> + +<p>“Yes, she had worked her way through college. She had studied +type-writing and done work for the professors and copied essays for the +girls and coached backward girls, and trimmed hats, as she had a genius +for millinery. Then, in vacation she had been a sort of summer governess +when parents wanted to take journeys. It had all been very interesting, +too, but it had taken longer, and now she was studying medicine in New +York and teaching some hours a day.”</p> + +<p>“I like to teach but I don’t believe I want to be a doctor, I think I +should like to go to college.”</p> + +<p>“It is a fine discipline and broadens out one’s mind. It makes excellent +teachers, as well, and you do have many happy times. Think of a +settlement of hundreds of girls!”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington will only have twenty boarders and there are about +twenty day scholars.”</p> + +<p>“Not a very large family to be sure, but <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_66" id="pg_66">66</a></span>enough to give you some +variety. You look as if you might be a good student.”</p> + +<p>Lilian colored.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Trenham was entertaining the mother.</p> + +<p>She had been a widow twelve years, but was left with a small competency. +Claire had been thrown out of a carriage by a runaway horse when she was +barely five and very seriously injured so that for two years she was +entirely helpless and now held her life on a very frail tenure, but she +was a happy child and they made her life as entertaining as possible.</p> + +<p>“You are blest in your daughter,” said Mrs. Trenham. “She is so bright +and eager and vigorous, and has so much character. Well, I have Edith +who has always been a great comfort, and I suppose one gets used to a +burden when it is a pleasant one. Claire is very loving and we try to +keep all sad things from her.”</p> + +<p>Lilian thought it a delightful afternoon. These were the kind of people +you could get close to. She saw that her mother was enjoying it as well. +Wasn’t it rather monotonous for her at Mrs. Barrington’s? At Laconia +there had been neighbors dropping in, some who had known her early life +and sympathized with her misfortunes, and here, no <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_67" id="pg_67">67</a></span>one. She was glad to +have been taken in this kindly family.</p> + +<p>“Oh, won’t you come often?” pleaded Claire. “I like you so much, and if +you could come some Saturday mamma and Edith might go out together. An +old lady does come in when they go to church, but she isn’t any real +company. She hasn’t any ideas. Don’t you think old people get sort of +stupid?” Lilian laughed.</p> + +<p>Miss Benson expressed a good deal of pleasure at meeting such an +ambitious girl and hoped to keep in touch with her for sometime; she +might be able to counsel her or perhaps direct her on her way.</p> + +<p>“It has been just delightful,” she said when they reached their own +rooms.</p> + +<p>She did not go in to sing but read to her mother. Yes, she would try in +the future to share more of her life with the colorless one. She had +resolved to make the great sacrifice when she found she could not go on +with school, and lo, this had been the outcome. They were delightfully +sheltered, there were no hardships, only pin pricks and she would be +silly to mind those. There was a sudden commotion through the place on +Monday morning. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_68" id="pg_68">68</a></span>Such glad bursts of welcome, such joyous laughter and +absolute peans of delight.</p> + +<p>For Zaidee Crawford had come. She, Lilian, was not in it and she +wondered if at any time or in any place there would be such unalloyed +gladness at her coming.</p> + +<p>A girl of fifteen, bewilderingly pretty in the changes that passed over +her mobile face. A complexion that was pink and pearl, golden hair that +was a mass of waves and shining rings that seemed to ray off sunshine +with every movement of the head that had a bird-like poise; a low broad +Clytie brow and eyes that were the loveliest violet color, sometimes +blue, sometimes the tenderest, most appealing gray. Her smile was +captivating, disarming. It played about her lips that shut with dimples +in the corners, it quivered in her eyes and made the whole face radiant.</p> + +<p>Why Zaidee Crawford wasn’t spoiled by the indulgence and adulation was +quite a mystery. She had been longed for before her birth—one brother +was seven the other nine years older. Major Crawford thought the tie +between father and daughter was one of the choicest of heaven’s +blessings. He was proud of his sons whose straightforward, honorable +careers in the lines they had chosen, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_69" id="pg_69">69</a></span>to his great satisfaction, gave +him profound happiness. Connected with Zaidee’s birth had been the great +sorrow of their lives that had cost Mrs. Crawford years of excruciating +suffering and at first it seemed hopeless invalidism. In one of the +Indian skirmishes the Major had been severely wounded in the leg that +had left it lame and rather stiff. He resigned from the army to devote +himself to his wife and the old residence that had been in his family +for generations. And at this period a relative died and left him a large +fortune. Beyond improving his estate and having the best medical +attendance for his wife there was no real change in their living. They +were both too sensible not to know how easily boys might be led astray +by unwise indulgence in money. They were both high minded with a fine +sense of right and justice. Both had gone down the dark valley and +looked death in the face and thereafter walked humbly before God.</p> + +<p>Zaidee Crawford had been a day scholar except at intervals when her +mother had been taken away for medical treatment. Oddly enough, Mrs. +Crawford as a girl, had been educated by Mrs. Barrington, then a young +and childless widow, with an ardent desire for some <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_70" id="pg_70">70</a></span>useful aim in life, +and they had remained the warmest of friends. Mrs. Barrington’s comfort +and faith had cheered many an hour of despondency.</p> + +<p>But the Major had once said—“Margaret, while you can endure the +suffering, always think that I would much rather have you as you are +than to have lost you in that terrible time, and God has spared us our +two fine sons and our sweet daughter.”</p> + +<p>Yes, there was much joy still left to life.</p> + +<p>Zay went to her classes as a visitor this morning. There were many +smiles of welcome. After all, she had not fallen so far behind, but her +brother had been coaching her. There were four new scholars in the Latin +class. The Kirklands, Louie Howe, who had been promoted, and a Miss +Boyd, who roused a peculiar interest; but then her rendering in the +translation was exceedingly fine.</p> + +<p>“Who is that tall girl with the bronzy gold hair? And isn’t she a fine +reader?” exclaimed Zaidee.</p> + +<p>They were in a little group of old friends. Louie Howe laughed. Phillipa +made a funny face.</p> + +<p>“Well?” and flushing a little she glanced up, inquiringly.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_71" id="pg_71">71</a></span>“The caretaker’s daughter. We are democratic this year,” announced May +Gedney.</p> + +<p>“The caretaker—”</p> + +<p>“A Mrs. Boyd, a pale little nonentity, but she darns in the most elegant +fashion you ever saw. She had to bring her daughter you see, and the +daughter is to be a teacher—is a sort of charity scholar, looks after +the laggards in the evening, but she keeps her place pretty well. Of +course she lives over on that side,” nodding her head.</p> + +<p>“See here,” began Phillipa, “that girl has puzzled me with an elusive +resemblance to somebody, Zay, it really is you. Her hair and eyes are +darker, she’s larger every way, she is not such a peerless maid—”</p> + +<p>“I shouldn’t feel complimented by that! Oh the idea! A girl from—well +somewhere from the wild and woolly west—”</p> + +<p>Much as Phillipa Rosewald loved her friends and she confessed to adoring +Zaidee, she never stopped at a little fling.</p> + +<p>“The compliment, of course, is to Miss Boyd. She has a temper of her +own, you can catch a flash of it in her eyes, and I dare say her iron +rule is what makes her mother so meek. She pets up that Nevins girl who +is a—well they <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_72" id="pg_72">72</a></span>are called Beauty and the Beast. How she managed to +slip in here puzzles me.”</p> + +<p>“That girl is my horrid familiar, my <i>bete noire</i>. She has the room next +to mine and you ought to see it. Miss Davis marked her down for +untidyness, and Mrs. Barrington put her on a diet, her complexion was so +horrid, but she manages to get a lot of sweets and chocolates. And the +way she dresses! A modiste in New York sends her clothes and told her +the color of one’s frocks must match the hair or the eyes, and no one +could match those gray blue green eyes, so it has to be the hair.”</p> + +<p>“I wouldn’t want that dull brown hair. I don’t suppose she ever brushes +it. At home the maid looked after her. The mother is traveling for her +health, and they are very rich.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, is she making a confidante of you, too?” laughed May Gedney. “I +thought it rather funny at first, I didn’t believe half she said, but +her father is quite an important man in banking circles it seems, and +there are diamonds galore, but he wouldn’t let her wear only that +diamond birthday ring at school. She was wildly in love with Miss Boyd +but the girl was too hard hearted to <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_73" id="pg_73">73</a></span>return it. She is a regular icicle +and stony hearted and all that! Yes, her heart is irretrievably gone +about the girl. They did have a kissing match one night but they don’t +do it any more in public! I don’t know what they do in private, but the +Boyd shut down on gifts which almost broke her heart, and she had spent +two dollars for two orchids.”</p> + +<p>“That certainly speaks well for Miss Boyd,” Zay exclaimed.</p> + +<p>May flushed. Lately <i>she</i> had been the recipient of some gifts.</p> + +<p>“Of course she is here to train the younger minds in the paths of +knowledge while her mother mends their clothes.”</p> + +<p>“Well, is that to be despised?” asked Zay with spirit.</p> + +<p>“Why, no, but of course you don’t associate with your dressmaker’s +daughter, nor the store clerks though they are nice enough for the +places they have to fill in life. If it wasn’t for the mother she might +pass muster, and you know this is the most select of schools. That is +one reason mother sent me here there was no chance of making undesirable +acquaintances. For one thing, the terms are too high,” and Louie Howe +bridled.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_74" id="pg_74">74</a></span>“Is this Miss Nevins at the highwater mark?” and there was a touch of +sarcasm in Zay’s tone.</p> + +<p>“Oh let’s quit the higher criticism,” said another. “I want to hear Zay +talk, and you’ve been to Berlin and that picturesque Dresden. Did you +see the shepherdesses with their crooks, and Corydon making love to +them, and Holland—that funny place of canals and windmills and stumpy +dutchmen.”</p> + +<p>“And, oh, did you see the Kaiser?”</p> + +<p>Zay laughed. “Yes, mounted on a fine horse, and the Empress and her +pretty daughter in a state carriage. And Willard went to some sort of +review with the Ambassador and was presented to the Kaiser who asked him +about Annapolis, and some of the training. He thought the great Emperor +very affable. Father has been at a few of the functions and seen the +royal ladies in their state dresses. Then, there are some splendid +professors and scientists—”</p> + +<p>“But you didn’t go to Paris?”</p> + +<p>“No. Father and Willard spent ten days there while Aunt Kate and I staid +with mother. Then she could cross the room without a cane, even. Now she +can walk some distance. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_75" id="pg_75">75</a></span>Oh, girls, its splendid not to have her go on +crutches! And she thinks in two years or so we may go to Paris for quite +a stay. You know real young girls don’t understand fine pictures and all +that! Willard begins his three-years cruise early in January, and in the +summer Vincent will graduate and perhaps be sent off somewhere. The +doctors wanted her to spend the whole winter about the Mediterranean, +but she thought it would be so lovely to have our Christmas together.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Zaidee Crawford, you’re a girl to be envied! None but the rich, +etc.,” with sundry upturnings of the chin.</p> + +<p>“Well, I hope I’ll be able to go abroad on a wedding tour. Otherwise I +won’t have him!” announced Phillipa with great solemnity at which they +all laughed.</p> + +<p>“Young ladies do you know it is time to go out for exercise,” said Miss +Arran.</p> + +<p>“Oh, let us go over to Crawford House,” cried Zay. “Why, you will hardly +know it. The two parlors are to be thrown into one—a regular drawing +room, and I’m to have the prettiest study off of my bedroom. I have to +decide what color I shall have them done in.”</p> + +<p>“We’ll all help you.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_76" id="pg_76">76</a></span>“I just can’t have blue and I like it so, but it is the one idea of +blondes, therefore I avoid it.”</p> + +<p>“It seems Miss Boyd’s favorite color,” said Louie. “And she’s not so +very blondy, either.”</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_77" id="pg_77">77</a></span> +<a name="ZAIDEE_1883" id="ZAIDEE_1883"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER V</h2> +<h3>ZAIDEE</h3> +</div> + +<p>They were the usual lot of girls in a sort of hubbub together. With the +exception of the Kirklands they were not taking life seriously as yet. +They studied and sang, painted, wrote verses, sometimes were caught on +trigonometry and occasionally made awful translations in Latin and +French. They changed their ideals, they vowed friendship and fell out +with each other, they were spiteful and willful and sweet and penitent, +and if “a boy’s will’s the wind’s will,” a young girl’s will in the +unformed years is not much better.</p> + +<p>Phillipa Rosewald was a sort of leader. A kind of charming girl with +many varieties, fascinating, making you like her when she chose and then +giving you pin pricks instead of caresses. Before she put on long +dresses boys were quarrelling about her and she seemed to sandwich love +affairs in with her lessons; she had fine taste in dressing, she could +tie a bow, or trim a hat, or furbish up an evening waist in a manner +that filled her comrades with envy, and she was a fairly good scholar as +well.</p> + +<p>But Zaidee with her graciousness and sweet <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_78" id="pg_78">78</a></span>temper won all hearts. Every +one was eager to have some little claim upon her. Her mother’s sad +accident and her father being one of the survivors of a fierce Indian +battle made her a sort of heroine. She was not quite an angel but very +human and with the peculiar sweetness that always disarms criticism.</p> + +<p>And although it was considered a rather aristocratic school there were +the usual feuds and bits of jealousy inseparable from a crowd of girls, +the days in the main passed delightfully, and now they were all +interested in the rehabilitation of Crawford House, the coming of the +young midshipman and the lovely mother who at last had an almost +miraculous restoration to health and strength.</p> + +<p>Crawford House was full of workmen. Aunt Kate was supervisor. Willard +was staying with his parents.</p> + +<p>The house stood on a little eminence and had two terraces that were a +mass of bloom in the summer. A broad portico ran on two sides and at the +end fronting the south there was an imposing tower, many windows. Back +of it was a flower garden, a vegetable garden, barns, carriage house and +a useful little green-house.</p> + +<p>“Dear, I hope the workmen will be through <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_79" id="pg_79">79</a></span>early in December,” said Aunt +Kate. “Then there is all the furnishing. Only about six weeks. Does +school seem natural, Zay? Have the girls gone way ahead of you?”</p> + +<p>“I hardly know yet,” was the laughing reply. “Mrs. Barrington hasn’t +really set me at work.”</p> + +<p>“Are there many new scholars?”</p> + +<p>“Not in our department, but it seems nice to be a school girl again and +not a globe trotter.”</p> + +<p>“But you didn’t go quite round the world.”</p> + +<p>“I’m glad there’s something left. Look girls, this is my room with the +southern and western exposure. I think I’ll have it done in pale green +and pink, Aunt Kate. That will tone down the summer sunshine. Phil and I +have been discussing colors.”</p> + +<p>“That will be pretty, and you can <i>stand</i> green. It would turn some +complexions yellow,” returned Aunt Kate.</p> + +<p>“How short the days are growing! And it gets dark so soon. Girls, we had +better hurry off home.”</p> + +<p>“Shall I order samples of green, Zaidee?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, Aunt Kate, if you please.”</p> + +<p>It was quite a treat to sit down at the table with a group of girls. +Madame Eustice <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_80" id="pg_80">80</a></span>talked to them in French and Zay surprised her with her +readiness and improved pronunciations.</p> + +<p>“And I am quite a proficient in German as far as talking goes, I’ve +heard so much of it, and it seemed so funny at first. Though a good many +of the servants and waiters speak a little English.”</p> + +<p>Zay glanced down at the other table. She singled out Miss Nevins who had +quite a fancy hair dressing and a pink bow. But she saw no one she +thought Miss Boyd. Then there was a full hour to the study period.</p> + +<p>Lilian and her mother often took this meal which was only a kind of high +tea in their room. Mrs. Boyd could not overcome a half fear of Mrs. +Dane. Then she read to her mother until it was time to go to the study. +Often she left her mother asleep in the big easy chair. Oh, for some one +to listen and to respond! But the practice was good for her if no one +listened.</p> + +<p>Zay kept glancing furtively down at the table of the younger class. Yes, +there was Miss Boyd. She went toward a pupil, as a small hand was held +up. There was something interesting in the face, and the young student +would glance up and smile. Was <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_81" id="pg_81">81</a></span>there any resemblance, she wondered? The +hair was darker, but the complexion was certainly fine. Miss Nevins had +a peevish look tonight and said something rather cross. Miss Boyd +preserved her serenity.</p> + +<p>Lilian was having quite a delightful new interest in the Trenhams. Her +exercise hour led to a walk down there and an engaging half visionary +talk with Claire who had wonderful adventures with a pretty squirrel who +ran up and down a tree in range with her window. Or it was some belated +bird who had lost his way south and had to hide to keep out of the way +of the hunters.</p> + +<p>“Why do they let them go out and kill the poor birdies?” she asked +plaintively. “I should think it would be braver to go to Africa and +shoot lions and tigers and those cruel animals that eat up human beings, +and the dear pretty little squirrels!”</p> + +<p>“Why, indeed?” Lilian had often thought of it herself.</p> + +<p>Or it would be a story of a fairy who had a long search for a charmed +ring that would bestow a wonderful power over everything in the forest +and give the animals the gift of speech. Claire told one, Lilian must +take the next.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_82" id="pg_82">82</a></span>“Edith comes home so tired sometimes. You are always fresh,” the child +said.</p> + +<p>Then the girl would meet Edith who would turn about and walk with her +and listen to the hopes and ambitions and dreams she could tell to no +one else. So she had a comforting secret life.</p> + +<p>Zaidee Crawford made two or three slight advances, but they were +distantly received, and Zay was not used to being rebuffed. She was not +much of an analyst and thought Miss Boyd very cold natured. But now and +then the enthusiasm of the true student broke out in some class +recitation and it transfigured her.</p> + +<p>“Our pupil teacher quite distinguished herself today,” said Phillipa +Rosewald, “though I must say it was in exceedingly bad taste.”</p> + +<p>“Why bad taste?” asked Zay. “I thought it fine.”</p> + +<p>“She might have been a little more modest. You see, my dear child, we +are not preparing for teachers nor to vulgarly distinguish ourselves. I +thought Miss Grayson did not quite like it. Are you really growing fond +of your double? But I can’t imagine you standing up in that bold +fashion.”</p> + +<p>Zay was silent. It always annoyed her <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_83" id="pg_83">83</a></span>to have Miss Boyd called her +double. The figure and manner was so different. Zay was so light and +airy, she seemed rather to skim over space than to walk, and every +motion was replete with grace, while Miss Boyd was stately, and when +critical eyes were upon her, sometimes seemed awkward.</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins certainly was improving. Thanks to Mrs. Barrington’s regimen +her complexion had cleared up, she kept her hair in a tidier fashion. +May Gedney had insisted upon her wearing something beside the dismal +browns.</p> + +<p>“Send this to your dressmaker and have a green suit trimmed with bands +of gray fur—if it won’t be too extravagant.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, father will pay the bill. He hasn’t much idea of what things cost.”</p> + +<p>“See here—I know a lovely dressmaker in Livingston. I sometimes go +there. Mrs. Barrington would let us go over with Miss Davis, I am sure, +and as she keeps samples we could choose, and she could take your +measure. I don’t believe it would cost half as much, and will be +prettier. Your clothes are too old.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you are an angel,” and May had to submit to an embrace.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_84" id="pg_84">84</a></span>Mrs. Barrington agreed. She gave Miss Nevins some money.</p> + +<p>“As they are going on your business you must pay their expenses,” she +said.</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins felt really grand. This was a true friend.</p> + +<p>One evening she thrust a note in Lilian’s hand. She had taken a seat on +the other side of the table.</p> + +<p>Lilian read it in her room. She smiled, yet she felt a little hurt after +all she had done for Alice.</p> + +<p>“I hope you won’t feel bad because I changed my seat. Some of those +hateful girls called us Beauty and the Beast. I know I am not handsome, +but then rich people seldom are, and I don’t think you are so very. I +have a new dear friend who really does care for me and is going to plan +about my clothes. Of course you don’t know how the real style ought to +dress, and I don’t think mamma would like me to be intimate with a girl +whose mother was caretaker here. It’s such a pity she is, for if she +wasn’t here you wouldn’t need to say anything about it and would be more +respected. I hope you won’t be mad.—Alice.”</p> + +<p>“I won’t be ashamed of her, poor dear <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_85" id="pg_85">85</a></span>mother,” Lilian said resolutely. +But if she were like Mrs. Trenham, and the change would not be so very +great, she mused.</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins avoided her for the next few days. Lilian did not seem to +notice it.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington called the girls together one evening.</p> + +<p>“Young ladies,” she began, “I have a plan to lay before you. There have +always been some Hallowe’en plays and tricks that often seem both +childish and reprehensible. I am going to propose you lay aside all +these and instead let me give you a party with music, dancing and some +refreshments. I will invite the young gentlemen of the neighborhood, +many of whom you have met at church and elsewhere. What do you say?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Barrington, that is utterly lovely.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa Rosewald sprang up and clasped both hands. There was a bevy of +girls about her and they all talked at once.</p> + +<p>“Understand, there are to be no tricks played in each other’s rooms. You +have been making very good progress so far this year and I am sincerely +pleased. As many of you will go away on Saturday there can be no +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_86" id="pg_86">86</a></span>Christmas festivities, but this may be quite as pleasant.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Barrington, it will be just delightful!” cried Phillipa with +enthusiasm. “Thank you a dozen times for thinking of it.”</p> + +<p>“You have accepted some invitations from outside and it seems the thing +to return them. Every girl will be at her liberty to ask one guest and +there are several I wish to invite. I hope you will have a happy time.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, we are sure of that.”</p> + +<p>“And now I hope your scholarship will be excellent at the winter +examinations. It will be the last year for some of you and for your +parents’ sake I hope you will stand high.”</p> + +<p>The leisure of the next two days was spent working out lists.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” declared May Gedney, “I’d like to invite at least four. Ally and +Archie Holmes, and the Pridhams. I suppose we can ask a young +gentleman?”</p> + +<p>“Let us make a list and divide up. Archie Holmes is such a delightful +dancer, and Allie is so full of fun, and so many of us were at her +birthday party.”</p> + +<p>“Do you suppose the smaller fry will invite their friends?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_87" id="pg_87">87</a></span>“I think not, though they may be allowed to come in as spectators.”</p> + +<p>“That Nevins girl is a pretty dancer. What lots of fancy things she +knows.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t imagine we will have any high flings,” laughing.</p> + +<p>“Well, May, you ask Ally, and Nelly White ask Archie. That’s the way we +must pair off, and divide up the Pridhams. We must only ask one girl in +a family. I’m afraid we won’t have boys enough to go round.”</p> + +<p>“Then some of the girls will have to play Knights as we do in the +practices.”</p> + +<p>After much study they presented their list to Mrs. Barrington who +thought it very judicious. She said she had several gentlemen to add.</p> + +<p>Then there was a time about the frocks. Miss Nevins unpacked two party +gowns that had remained in her trunk when it was taken up stairs. A +pretty rather simple white cluna silk and a pink satin.</p> + +<p>“Oh, the satin is altogether too ornate, too really old,” declared +Phillipa.</p> + +<p>“But it’s so much prettier,” longingly.</p> + +<p>“I don’t know about that, and I can tell you Mrs. Barrington will hustle +it back in the box mighty quick. The party is for the older <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_88" id="pg_88">88</a></span>girls. You +will simply be allowed in to look and partake of the treat if you are +well behaved little girls.”</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins pouted.</p> + +<p>Her new winter suit had come home and it was really admirable, making +her look like quite a different girl.</p> + +<p>“I don’t see what that New York dressmaker can be thinking about. She +makes a regular guy of her. And since Mrs. Barrington shut down on so +much sweet stuff how her complexion has improved. But the morning baths +are a terror to her. She is sure she can keep clean on a wash once a +week.”</p> + +<p>“And girls, every time her mother wrote she enclosed five dollars. She +didn’t give any account of that for awhile, and Mrs. Barrington was +quite affronted when her mother advised her to go to a restaurant now +and then to get a good meal. I must say our living here is of the very +best.”</p> + +<p>There was no dissenting voice.</p> + +<p>They were all in a gale about the party. There was always a lawn fete +when school closed in June at which the girls invited relatives and +friends. Hallowe’en had been devoted to tricks in each other’s room, +sewing up sheets, sprinkling cayenne pepper and rice, and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_89" id="pg_89">89</a></span>occasionally +putting a toad in the bed if one could be found, or an artificial one +would answer the purpose. Mrs. Barrington had made some appeals, but +this new plan was a decided success. The girls were gay and eager with +delight, and wonder who of the young men of the town would be asked.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington called Lilian in her room and spoke of the party, giving +her a special invitation.</p> + +<p>“It is very kind of you,” the girl answered, “and I hope you will not +think me ungrateful if I decline. I am not used to gayeties of this +kind, and”—with a smile—“I have no party dress.”</p> + +<p>“That can easily be remedied. I really think you are making a mistake by +effacing yourself so readily on all occasions. You are becoming a fine +scholar and I am much interested in your welfare. Your hour in the study +room is not at all detrimental—”</p> + +<p>“There are other things. Oh, Mrs. Barrington let me keep to my own +sphere. I have always been poor, I have not been much among what are +called better class girls, but I do know they have better advantages and +are trained in pretty and attractive society ways. Public schools are +more on a level. I am not finding <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_90" id="pg_90">90</a></span>fault. My heart is full of gladness +for this lovely offer that came to my mother and me. Some of the young +ladies have been very kind. Believe me I am happy, but I should feel out +of place in a gay party.”</p> + +<p>She looked really beautiful standing there, the bright flush coming and +going over her face, her mouth with its winsome curves, her eyes so full +of gratitude and candor. What was the elusive remembrance?</p> + +<p>“You shall do as you like in this matter,” returned Mrs. Barrington. +“But at the beginning of the new term I propose to have matters on a +somewhat different footing. You will end by being my best scholar.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank you a thousand times for taking so much interest in me. I +hope I shall be able to repay you.”</p> + +<p>“My dear child some of the best things in the world are done without +pay. Appreciation is better and you have a great deal of that.”</p> + +<p>The party was a great success. Several of the older graduates were asked +in. There was music, some conversational plays where quick wit was +necessary and in this Phillipa excelled. Then the dancing was charming +to the young crowd. They were very merry <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_91" id="pg_91">91</a></span>over the refreshments, then +dancing again.</p> + +<p>“It’s been just delightful! I never had such a good time in my life. Oh, +Mrs. Barrington, how can we ever thank you,” and a dozen other glad +acknowledgments. They were all tired enough to tumble into bed, with no +thought of tricks to disturb them.</p> + +<p>Miss Nevins admitted that she had a first class time. “Only I wish I had +been up in more dances. And if they’d had some fancy dances! I do love +them so!”</p> + +<p>“Hardly at such a party,” said Phillipa, dryly. “And the maid of the +evening who did not come. Do you suppose she was asked?” inquired Louie +Howe.</p> + +<p>“Oh, she would have come quick enough if she’d had anything to wear,” +subjoined Miss Gedney. “Well, I’m glad she didn’t or wasn’t. It would +have been rather embarrassing.”</p> + +<p>“When I meet her abroad in the capacity of attendant to some charming +young lady I should not know her, of course.”</p> + +<p>There was a laugh at that.</p> + +<p>Then began the mouth of real study though there were a few heart +burnings that Miss Boyd should come up to the best in some of the +classes.</p> + +<p>November was unusually beautiful and the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_92" id="pg_92">92</a></span>week of Indian summer a dream +for a poet. Lilian’s afternoon hour out of doors was the concentration +of delight. The handsome town, the picturesque houses, where late +blooming flowers were a delight on many a lawn, the peaceful winding +river whose shadows seemed to depict a fascinating underworld, the +rising ground beyond with its magnificent trees, its tangled nooks of +shrubbery with scarlet berries, so stirred Lilian’s fine nature that she +felt as if she must burst into poesy.</p> + +<p>No, she would never give up the splendid, inspiriting dreams of youth. +Ambitious and noble natures are often haunted by romantic ideals and +glimpses of the future reaching up to unharmful standards that did seem +possible. These dreams were better than the feverish, vitiating novels +some of the girls poured over in private.</p> + +<p>She was making a warm friend of Edith Trenham, who was often puzzled by +her. How did she get this wonderful insight into such a beautiful world +full of possible endeavor.</p> + +<p>The simple prettiness of the Trenham home was very charming to her. This +was what she would make for her mother, only there would be a little +more. Portfolios of engravings, a vase from Japan, a curious Indian +ornament <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_93" id="pg_93">93</a></span>with ages back of it. Already Barrington House was shaping her +taste in many matters.</p> + +<p>Then it was a pleasure to talk to the imaginative Claire who reveled in +the Knights of Arthur’s time, the tastes of Mythology which she twisted +about to suit her fancy.</p> + +<p>“I like Miss Lilian so much,” she would say. “She has traveled in so +many countries. She knows all about Eskimo babies and little Chinese +girls who can’t go anywhere because they have such crooked feet. And we +play at going to see them, and they give us such curious things to eat. +And there are real little Greek children, who lived in Bible times. Oh, +it’s just lovely!”</p> + +<p>“You make Claire very happy,” Edith would say in a fond tone.</p> + +<p>“I like to make her happy, and I want to make my mother happy. She has +had such a hard life.”</p> + +<p>“You are a dear daughter.”</p> + +<p>Was she being a dear daughter to her mother? Mrs. Boyd seemed to grow +more distant, more dreary and absent. Sometimes between classes she +would run in and take her mother’s work, read to her evenings, but then +she always fell asleep; but the girl went on. It was more company to +read aloud. Just <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_94" id="pg_94">94</a></span>now she was deep in the making of Beautiful Florence. +Oh, would she ever get to know all the famous cities of the world?</p> + +<p>How the time sped on! There was one snow storm, not a very deep one, but +enough to call out the sleighs, and what a fairyland it made of Mount +Morris. Saturday all the girls chipped in and hired a big sleigh and a +laughing crew of ten had what they thought the merriest time of their +lives.</p> + +<p>Just as they were getting out Louie Howe caught her skirt on something +and there was a tear.</p> + +<p>“Oh, girls! My best Sunday skirt! And we—some of us are invited to Mrs. +Westlake’s to dinner, and she goes away on Monday. Oh, I wonder if Mrs. +Boyd can mend it fit to be seen! I can’t take it to the tailors now.”</p> + +<p>“She darns beautifully.”</p> + +<p>“Well, that’s what she’s here for; mender in general.”</p> + +<p>“But it seems dreadful to ask her to do it in the evening, and the +daylight is almost gone.”</p> + +<p>Louie hated to give up whatever her mind was set upon. She hurriedly +changed her frock and put on a light evening dress. With her skirt in +hand she crossed the hall. The <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_95" id="pg_95">95</a></span>door stood open. The house was always +warm. Mrs. Boyd sat in an easy chair. Helen on one of the fancy stools +under the gas burner with a book in her hand. Louie swept past her.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Boyd. I want you to mend my skirt. I’ve given it a dreadful +tear. I can’t take it to the tailors and four of us are invited out to +dinner after church, so I must have it.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd rose and examined it. “It is a bad tear, but if you <i>must</i> +have it—”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I surely must. O, I think you can do it. There’s the whole +evening.”</p> + +<p>Then she turned away. Lilian’s temper flared up at white heat.</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, why didn’t you tell her you could not? She has other +dresses to wear. Let me take it back to her—”</p> + +<p>“No, dear, I’ll do it. Light the lamp for me. Why you know that’s part +of my business,” and Mrs. Boyd gave a tremulous little laugh.</p> + +<p>“I think Mrs. Barrington would not have such a thing done on Saturday +night,” was her resolute reply, but she lighted the lamp and brought her +mother’s work table with its handy cabinet.</p> + +<p>“You see a good part of it will go under <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_96" id="pg_96">96</a></span>this plait. Oh Lilian, do not +mind such little things.”</p> + +<p>The insolent manner had hurt the girl keenly. Louie was on the promotion +list and would graduate in June. She held her head very high. Her father +had promised her a handsome watch with a beautiful neck chain that could +be detached when required and she felt sure of it now.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd basted the tear on a piece of cloth and began her work.</p> + +<p>“Lilian,” she said, “will you go and see if there is an iron on the +range, and ask cook if I can come down by and by.”</p> + +<p>Then she began her work. The underneath part at first, but somehow her +hand trembled. Lilian watched with an indignant, aching heart. After +awhile her mother leaned back with a sigh.</p> + +<p>“I believe I shall have to get glasses,” she said wearily. “I cannot do +fine work in the evening. I am afraid I shall spoil it, and I’ve always +been such a neat worker.”</p> + +<p>“Let me finish,” said the girl. Every inch of her protested, but it was +for her mother’s sake. Lately she had done several things to ease her.</p> + +<p>“Yes, let me,” she went on, taking the work <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_97" id="pg_97">97</a></span>from her mother’s hands. +“You know I can darn nicely.”</p> + +<p>Lilian took infinite pains. It was slow work, but at last it was +accomplished.</p> + +<p>“You are such a dear, good daughter, and it is said booky people are +never anything with a needle, but you could get your living with it.”</p> + +<p>Then she took her work down stairs and came back flushed and smiling.</p> + +<p>“Look, Lilian,” in a tone of pride, “it hardly shows! Cook said she +never saw more beautiful darning and that in a big city I could make a +fortune at lace mending. Will you take it to Miss Howe?”</p> + +<p>“No, mother,” and Lilian spoke in a dignified but not unkindly manner. +“We are not here to run and wait on the girl. Let Miss Howe come for +it.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd felt disappointed. She wanted some one beside cook to praise +her handiwork.</p> + +<p>Louie fidgeted about her skirt. She and Zay were in Phil’s room talking +over the coming Christmas and Mrs. Crawford’s return.</p> + +<p>“I wonder why that girl doesn’t bring my skirt. Maybe they’ve spoiled +it.”</p> + +<p>“Have you sent a maid?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_98" id="pg_98">98</a></span>“Why no. I meant Miss Boyd. She oughtn’t be above such things.”</p> + +<p>“Still, she isn’t here to run on errands. I think Mrs. Barrington treats +her quite as if she were a scholar, and she’s a fine one, too.”</p> + +<p>“Some day she’ll brag of having been educated here, though Mount Morris +doesn’t set out to furnish teachers, but the training of young ladies. +Mother likes it because there was no opportunity of making undesirable +acquaintances,” and Louie gave her head a toss.</p> + +<p>“Is Miss Nevins so very desirable?” asked Zay with a flash of mirth in +her eye.</p> + +<p>“Still, if you met her abroad as a rich banker’s daughter or heard of +her being presented to the Queen—”</p> + +<p>“Girls, don’t quarrel about either one of them. Alice Nevins is a fool +and always will be. Lilian Boyd is smart and ambitious but there <i>is</i> +the bar sinister. Her mother isn’t the sort of person to come up in the +world and when Miss Lilian gets there she’ll ship off her old mother, +put her in an Old Woman’s Home. I despise that toss of her head, just as +if she was up to the highest mark already; but they are not worth +disputing about.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee Crawford drew a long breath. She <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_99" id="pg_99">99</a></span>had almost courage enough to +stand up for her, then she remembered some one had said you were never +sure that some disgraceful thing might come out. Who knew anything about +her father? There was a good deal of pride of birth at Mount Morris as +is apt to be the case where well to do people have lived for a century +or so.</p> + +<p>Louie sent a maid for her skirt and admitted that a tailor couldn’t have +done it better.</p> + +<p>“Only a week” the girls said with their good night to each other.</p> + +<p>Not that they were so tired of school, but Christmas was a joyous +occasion, and going home a treat.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_100" id="pg_100">100</a></span> +<a name="AN_ESCAPADE_AND_WHAT_CAME_OF_IT_2448" id="AN_ESCAPADE_AND_WHAT_CAME_OF_IT_2448"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER VI</h2> +<h3>AN ESCAPADE AND WHAT CAME OF IT</h3> +</div> + +<p>The closing week of school was full of girlish excitements. Friday and +Saturday most of the girls would go home. Christmas came on the +following Monday. The Miss Kirklands were going to remain and devote the +time to study. Alice Nevins and Elma Ransome had no homes to go to at +present. Mrs. Barrington generally took this for a resting-up time.</p> + +<p>Louie rushed into Phillipa’s room, breathless and eyes full of wonder. +There was some fancy things strewn around. Phil and Zaidee were at some +gifts.</p> + +<p>“What now? Has there been a mistake in the calendar and is Christmas put +off and are we to be aliens from the family bosom?”</p> + +<p>Louie laughed and fanned herself vigorously.</p> + +<p>“I’ve been hearing wonderful things about that Clairvoyant. Do you +really know what clairvoyance is? It isn’t mere fortune telling. Madge +Hayne went the other day and she was told some really remarkable things. +They had not heard from that brother in a year and didn’t know whether +he was dead or alive. She said they would hear from him <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_101" id="pg_101">101</a></span>and that he +would return soon with a fortune, and this very morning the letter came. +He’s been in Alaska and British Columbia and goodness knows where all, +and he’s tired of rambling and hardships. So he’s coming home as he has +made his pile, which I suppose means a fortune. They are all just wild +with joy, and there are to be two marriages this year.”</p> + +<p>“Then Madge’s lover will get his promotion. That is what she is waiting +for,” laughed Phil. “But I have heard that the woman told some wonderful +things.”</p> + +<p>“And while we were abroad in the summer Aunt Kate and I took little +tours around; we were at a Fair in a small town where there were some +real Romany gypsies and one insisted on reading Aunt Kate’s future. She +spoke of mamma’s walking without crutches, which we couldn’t believe and +said after we came home something mysterious would happen to us, that a +member of the family would come from a great distance, that the person +who had her in charge would die, but Aunt Kate laughed and said we had +had no mysterious marriages nor sudden disappearances, so that could +hardly come true.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa had been considering. “Girls let’s <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_102" id="pg_102">102</a></span>go,” she exclaimed. “Mrs. +Barrington didn’t actually forbid it. She said: ‘Girls I hope none of +you will be foolish enough to spend your money on such nonsense. Those +people are generally impostors.’ I’d like to have a peep into the +future. There’s a young man I am interested in. Now, if he’s all fair +and square and means business—”</p> + +<p>“You’re always on the anxious seat of lovers,” said Louie, “and you seem +to have them by dozens.”</p> + +<p>“I want the very best and richest. Girls, my mother was married when she +was seventeen, and I’ll be nineteen in June; but she didn’t go to +boarding school for three years and waste her time.”</p> + +<p>“And I want a tour abroad—a winter or summer in Paris—which is most +attractive, and there may be a little chance of some one leaving father +a fortune. Oh, let us go—just for the fun if nothing else,” and Louie +glanced up in her radiant prettiness.</p> + +<p>There is something tempting to the young in a peep in the wide +mysterious future. Joys and the so-called good luck are delights to hope +for and it is seldom that any dark pages are unfolded to youth. So the +girls talked and agreed to go the next afternoon.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_103" id="pg_103">103</a></span>Examinations were in the morning and the girls had the afternoon to +themselves. Four were going to a musicale, half a dozen to do some last +shopping.</p> + +<p>“We’ll put on something out of the ordinary line,” said Phil. “Hoods and +veils and I’ll wear my old gray coat. Mother would make me bring it and +I’ve not had it on once. We’ll trot across the park, shortest route, and +hold our heads down.”</p> + +<p>“And then run round to Crawford House and have some hot chocolate,” said +Zay.</p> + +<p>It was a winter when Tam o’ Shanters were all the rage. Zay had a white +one with two fluffy rose-colored rosettes. As she passed through the +hall she saw Clara Arnold’s blue one lying on the bed. She had always +tabooed blue. Now with a sudden impulse she put it on. Clara had gone to +the musicale and would not be home until late. Then she gathered up her +curls and stuffed them in the crown. Yes, she did suggest the Boyd girl. +The resemblance teased her, and the girls had found that out. She wound +a veil around her head and they stole through the hall when it was +deserted and went scuddering through the Park.</p> + +<p>It was a cloudy afternoon, not one to go out for pleasure, and then +everybody had wanted <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_104" id="pg_104">104</a></span>to go down town. Mrs. Trenham lived in the corner +house. There was a garden space between, then a high fence. Phillipa +rang the bell.</p> + +<p>A rather unkempt, middle-aged woman answered it.</p> + +<p>“Could we see the Clairvoyant?”</p> + +<p>“Well,” hesitatingly. “All of you? I’m rather—yes, walk in.”</p> + +<p>The room was untidy, the books on the table dusty, and some clothing +thrown over several chairs.</p> + +<p>“Young girls always want a peep in the future,” and she gave an abrupt +laugh. “You don’t any of you look as if you needed medical advice. My, I +seldom see such rosy, good looking girls. Now, I’ll tell you—it’s a +dollar if I go into a trance and see you inside, up and down and I can +tell to a T whether there’s anything the matter. But I don’t believe you +want that. S’pose I just run over the cards and see what kind of a +Christmas you’re going to have and how many lovers and who’s going to +wear a diamond. That’s fifty cents.”</p> + +<p>“That’s enough to spend on such foolery,” laughed Phillipa.</p> + +<p>She pushed out some chairs and took up a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_105" id="pg_105">105</a></span>pack of cards, threw them +aside and took a clean pack off of the mantlepiece. “Now you try first,” +motioning to Phillipa. “Why I can see by your face there’s lots of +fortune coming to you. You’re the kind of girl men quarrel over.”</p> + +<p>She had become a very astute reader of faces and could tell by the +brightening of an eye or the movement of a feature whether she was on +the right tack.</p> + +<p>“Your home isn’t here and you are going to it in a few days. You +see—here’s the house and there’s a distance between,” pointing out the +cards. “They are making a big time and lots of company, a great +Christmas dinner, and a dance in the evening, and you’ll get kissed +under the mistletoe—but you won’t marry that man. There’s two of +them—three of them and two offers of marriage. Some one you haven’t +seen much of, and there’ll be talk of a diamond.”</p> + +<p>She shuffled the cards and ran over them again, enlarging upon the +lovers and jealous girls as well as men, presents and fun. “But you’re +going to turn your back on it all and you don’t want to a bit, and +you’re going to have some trouble, and a journey with a trunk, and—why +you’ll be in school and you’ll <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_106" id="pg_106">106</a></span>be most crazy to hear from the young man +with the diamond, but you just keep your faith, he’ll be all right and +there’ll be a wedding before the leaves fall. Oh, you’ll be as happy as +a queen.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa laughed and nodded.</p> + +<p>“Now, you next,” to Zaidee.</p> + +<p>Zay hesitated, but took the chair Phillipa vacated.</p> + +<p>At first she seemed a puzzle to the fortune teller. “She had traveled a +good deal. Some one was coming across water that she would be glad to +see—three people, a fair lady who had had a great deal of trouble, +sickness, but was well now. Why they would soon be here and all have +Christmas dinner together. There would be a great surprise with a fair +young man who cared a great deal for her, and there were wonderful +surprises that wouldn’t make her happy at first. Here was a strange +girl—but she doesn’t want to come. Gifts and friends, and this stout +man—your father,” and she knew by Zay’s face she had guessed right. “He +is very fond of you—oh, you needn’t ever be afraid any one will crowd +you out. Plenty of lovers, too, when it comes your time; a happy +marriage and children, and prosperity. A little sickness, but nothing to +be alarmed about.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_107" id="pg_107">107</a></span>Louie’s fortune did not seem so serene. “She was at school and would go +home to keep Christmas. This was elaborated in very agreeable styles. +Then she would come back, but she would be troubled about a prize, be +disappointed in a girl friend who would try to injure her and who would +say mean things, but she must not mind them. Then there were journeys +and pleasures and lovers, but she would not marry very young and would +be engaged twice, and oddly enough be married the second time.”</p> + +<p>Then they rose, gathered up their wraps and the fortune teller her +money, with profuse wishes for their happiness and a merry Christmas, +and shut the door. Zay was leading and opened the hall door, stepping +out on the stoop.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my goodness! There’s the Dane across the way! Let us run out back +and across lots” and they started in a huddle, opening the door that led +to another room.</p> + +<p>“You can’t come in here,” declared a voice but they pushed through to +the outer door, flew down the path and across a space over to the next +street, but did not stop until they had reached the side gate to +Crawford House.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_108" id="pg_108">108</a></span>“It’s only three of us girls,” exclaimed Zay. “We are going to my +room.”</p> + +<p>Then they stood in breathless terror, looking in each other’s faces. +Phillipa gave a half hysterical laugh, dropped into a chair and went on +laughing.</p> + +<p>“I don’t see anything funny,” said Louie. “And to come so near being +caught! Do you suppose the Dane was watching out—suspecting? And that +horrid smell in the room, and the girl holding up one of those boys who +was struggling for breath—”</p> + +<p>“You had a good view, Louie,” sarcastically.</p> + +<p>“Well, I was behind. Oh, what if it was small pox?” and Louie was white +as a ghost.</p> + +<p>“Small pox! Louie don’t be an idiot! See here, we’d heard a thing like +that quick enough. Now I’ll tell you—Zay have you any aromatic ammonia? +Let’s all take a dose to quiet our nerves and ward off whatever it may +be, and get a lump of gum camphor to take to bed with us tonight, and +Louie if you dare to act suspicious I’ll murder you.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t think it was just the thing for her to let us in if there was +any sickness.”</p> + +<p>“I wanted a <i>real</i> Clairvoyant. They do tell you wonderful things, but +she hit a good deal about you, Zay. I wonder who is coming to <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_109" id="pg_109">109</a></span>try to +oust you out? Oh, maybe your brother will bring home a wife.”</p> + +<p>“I shouldn’t like that,” the girl said frankly. “And maybe he will be +sent on a three years’ cruise and leave her with us!”</p> + +<p>“Nonsense! Don’t bother your pretty curly head. Here let us all take our +composing draught and then wend our way to school with a bold front. +Only we must have some other hats.”</p> + +<p>“I’ll wear my Gainsborough, and you, Phil, shall have my brown turban +with the bunch of plumes. Louie—”</p> + +<p>“Let me wear the black straw with those yellow daisies. I almost grudge +that to you.”</p> + +<p>“Then take it as a Christmas gift.”</p> + +<p>The cook stopped them in the hall and said they must have a cup of hot +chocolate. The wind was blowing up cold.</p> + +<p>Then they started home in very good spirits. It was well they had +changed their headgear. Mrs. Dane sat in the hall looking over some +mail. She glanced up and nodded, but she had some suspicions and she +meant to see who came home wearing a light blue Tam.</p> + +<p>Zay flung her borrowed article on Miss <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_110" id="pg_110">110</a></span>Arnold’s bed. She had not come +home from the musicale yet.</p> + +<p>Lilian Boyd had gone out for her usual walk. She wanted to see some +pretty things Claire was making for Christmas, but before she reached +the corner she saw Edith Trenham coming rapidly from her mother’s, so +she halted.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Lilian—don’t go. You can’t see Claire—”</p> + +<p>“Is she ill?” in affright.</p> + +<p>“No, no, only—come with me to the druggist; I can’t tell you just +now—oh, I’ll write you a note. You cannot go there this week. Mother +has a friend staying with her and I have gone to Mrs. Lane’s to board +for a week, there is so much school work just now.”</p> + +<p>“How very mysterious you are,” studying her while she colored under the +scrutiny.</p> + +<p>“Well, it threatens snow and it would be easier for me there. Don’t +worry about us—I’ll write this evening and tell you the ‘whys;’ and now +dear, don’t feel vexed if I leave you. I have a number of errands to do, +and I’ll surely see you on Sunday.”</p> + +<p>She had taken a few steps, then she turned and said: “Lilian, do not +mention meeting <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_111" id="pg_111">111</a></span>me today; I ask it as a favor. I will explain it all to +you. Trust me.”</p> + +<p>What did it mean? <i>Was</i> Claire ill? She had never seen Miss Trenham so +confused. Evidently she could not have her come to the house. Lilian +felt curiously dismal. There were the shops in holiday attire, but she +said she did not feel joyous, Christmasy. She rambled about a little. +There was the Clairvoyant’s sign. Could any one tell about the future, +even another’s health? For, somehow it seemed as if her mother had been +curiously distraught of late. If she <i>could</i> know about the future! Oh, +her mother must live the year out, and she was learning a great many +things. She would do for an under teacher then, and by the time she was +twenty—</p> + +<p>It was cloudy and raw and she hurried up a little. A merry group of +girls passed her laughing and chatting. Why, she had never felt so +alone, not even back in Laconia. Last Christmas had been gay and +pleasant with girls in Sunday and everyday school.</p> + +<p>She went in at the side entrance. She could have taken the other but +this was nearer. She had the right to a good many privileges that under +some circumstances she would have claimed, but the supercillious nod or +the lifting <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_112" id="pg_112">112</a></span>of the brows cut like a knife. Her place was on her +mother’s side.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Dane opened her door on the landing and crossed the hall.</p> + +<p>“Oh, you have returned. Did you see your friend, Miss Trenham?” There +was something curious in the tone.</p> + +<p>“I did not go to the house.” Yet she colored as if it was a +prevarication.</p> + +<p>“No?” was all the comment in the same tone.</p> + +<p>But her mother was not so easily put off.</p> + +<p>“Did you see your pretty invalid friend and her Christmas work?”</p> + +<p>“No, I did not go in.”</p> + +<p>“That’s queer. I thought you were going there. Where, then, did you go?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I only walked around and said over French verbs. It’s grown very +chilly.”</p> + +<p>“Yes. Miss Arran came in and opened a window. I felt so cold—I wish +people would let you have your room as you want it. They can swing +their’s wide open if they want to.”</p> + +<p>She was lying on the bed. She looked old and gray and wrinkled.</p> + +<p>“Do you feel poorly, mother?”</p> + +<p>“No, not when I am good and warm.”</p> + +<p>“Shall we have tea together here?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_113" id="pg_113">113</a></span>“I don’t want any, I’m very comfortable now. You go and get yours.”</p> + +<p>But Lilian sent for it, yet she could not persuade her mother to taste +the toast or the bit of broiled steak. She was hungry.</p> + +<p>Afterward she took up her book to study as she was not due down stairs. +Then there was a tap at the door.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington would like to see you in her room,” was the message.</p> + +<p>She walked thither. Mrs. Dane sat there in her austerest fashion.</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd,” she said, “were you at your friend’s, Mrs. Trenham’s, this +afternoon?”</p> + +<p>Lilian flushed at the repeated question.</p> + +<p>“I was not,” she said rather hesitatingly. “I meant to go, but”—then +she paused. She must not say she met Edith.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington’s penetrating eyes were fixed on her face and brought a +vivid color to it.</p> + +<p>“Were you at any other person’s house?”</p> + +<p>“No, I was not,” she answered quietly. Oh, what does it all mean?</p> + +<p>“Do you mean to deny that you were at the Clairvoyant’s from half past +four to about five?” Mrs. Dane said in her most judicial manner.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_114" id="pg_114">114</a></span>Lilian flushed indignantly but her voice was unsteady as she said—“I +was not there, if you”—then she paused.</p> + +<p>“Think again. I saw you walking about nearly at the corner. I went to +make a call on a friend who is ill. When I came out I walked a few +doors, when I saw the Clairvoyant’s door open and a girl stepped out on +the stoop. I think there was some one behind her. She saw me and bolted +back in the hall. There are just two girls in the school who have light +blue Tams. Miss Arnold went to a musicale and found hers lying on the +bed just where she left it. I watched, but you did not come out again. +Then I walked around to the rear but saw no one. I had a fair glance at +your face, I think I cannot be mistaken.”</p> + +<p>Lilian was speechless with amazement.</p> + +<p>“I met Miss Trenham at the side of the park and we walked together a +short distance. Believe it or not, I went to no one’s house.”</p> + +<p>“It is important for us to know the truth on account of the terrible +ending,” said Mrs. Barrington gravely. “Two boys have been ill with what +their mother thought was measles. The doctor was not sent for until +noon, and did not get there until nearly six. He found <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_115" id="pg_115">115</a></span>one boy dead of +malignant scarlet fever, the other dying and one girl seriously ill. So +you see we cannot afford to have contagion brought in the house!”</p> + +<p>“Oh, what a horrible thing!” Lilian cried. Then she faced Mrs. Dane. +“Oh, you are mistaken, as God hears me, I was not in that house nor on +that side of the street,” and she almost gasped for breath.</p> + +<p>“You may go to your room. You will be excused from study hour tonight. +We must consider. I am glad it is so near closing time.”</p> + +<p>Lilian felt like one dazed. Yet she was passionately indignant when she +had reached her room. There might be other blue Tams in the town but she +did not remember to have seen many in light blue except Miss Arnold’s. +Somehow, Mrs. Dane had never taken to her cordially like Miss Arran and +the teachers.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington was much distressed. She had become warmly interested in +Lilian. She had smiled a little over Mrs. Dane’s strictures.</p> + +<p>“There’s something about her, a sort of loftiness that doesn’t belong to +her life, though she takes things with outward calmness, but I have a +feeling that some day she will break out in an awful tempest, and I +doubt her being that woman’s daughter. Mrs. Boyd never <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_116" id="pg_116">116</a></span>talks frankly +about her,” Mrs. Dane said, severely.</p> + +<p>“But she is devoted to the poor mother.”</p> + +<p>“Well, it seems so,” rather reluctantly.</p> + +<p>After dinner Mrs. Barrington summoned Miss Arran and laid the matter +before her. She listened with a kind of terrified interest.</p> + +<p>“I can’t believe Miss Boyd would tell such a dreadful falsehood, when +she saw the necessity of the truth. Mrs. Dane has very strong +prejudices. That Nevins girl is about her size and has a long braid of +fair hair.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, she was in disgrace in her room, but what a horrible thing that it +should have gone on without even a physician, or any care to prevent the +spread of contagion. Well—I suppose tomorrow it will be all over town. +I gave Matthew strict orders to say nothing about it tonight.”</p> + +<p>Presently Mrs. Barrington knocked at Mrs. Boyd’s door. Lilian opened it. +She had been crying. Now she stretched out her hands imploringly.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Barrington you cannot believe I would tell you such a cruel, +willful falsehood! I was not even very near that house. After all your +kindness to me—”</p> + +<p>“There, dear, I believe <i>you</i>. I know there <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_117" id="pg_117">117</a></span>has been some mistake. Mrs. +Dane has always been so anxious, one might say jealous for my welfare, +and you see this would mean a great deal to me. You must pardon her +until the truth comes out.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank you a thousand times,” cried Lilian in broken tones, her eyes +suffused with tears.</p> + +<p>“You need not come down to the study this evening. How is your mother?”</p> + +<p>“She is having a lovely sleep.”</p> + +<p>“Do not say anything to her, and the girls will be going away before +there is any real fright. I do not anticipate any danger with us. Be +comforted. We shall hear all tomorrow.”</p> + +<p>Lilian was almost happy. She had not lost her dear friend. Under any +other circumstances Lilian would have given Mrs. Barrington an +unreasoning adoration. She could not define it to herself. She liked +Miss Arran, but this was beyond a mere kindly liking.</p> + +<p>“She believes in me, she believes in me,” and the girl poured the +fragrant balm on her wounded heart. But there seemed an awful undefined +fear.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_118" id="pg_118">118</a></span> +<a name="A_SUPREME_MOMENT_2901" id="A_SUPREME_MOMENT_2901"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER VII</h2> +<h3>A SUPREME MOMENT</h3> +</div> + +<p>The girls in the study were looking furtively at one another. Was this a +sort of surprise to be sprung upon them?</p> + +<p>“Oh, Miss Marsh, do you know what this means? I can’t make beginning or +middle out of it. Why doesn’t Miss Boyd come?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, where is airy fairy Lilian? I think some other life she must have +been a soundless ghost. You look up and she is there. Then she +disappears.”</p> + +<p>“I’m glad some of the girls will have to stay through vacation,” said +Alice Nevins. “It will be awful poky, I wish I could go to New York and +the theatre every night.”</p> + +<p>“Every other night would do for me,” said Phillipa, “and here I’ve two +French exercises to go over. One has five errors—blunders, and the +other three. Madame Eustice wants to go at twelve tomorrow. Miss Vincent +do take pity on me when you go to Paris. I’ve heard it said you can’t +talk it until you’ve studied it all over again. Oh, what’s the use of so +much weariness of heart and brain!”</p> + +<p>No one came. Then in girl fashion they stirred up a sort of gale, saying +funny things <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_119" id="pg_119">119</a></span>and making droll misquotations, or putting the wrong name +to others and wondering what would be in the Christmas stockings.</p> + +<p>“I must leave a pack behind to be darned up. I hope I’ll get two boxes +of new ones. Girls, you wouldn’t dare offer your old ones to Miss Boyd, +would you? I have some pretty ones and those plaited silk. They wear +better than real silk. Mother thinks they’re good enough for school.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t suppose Miss Boyd has any relatives. It would be rather tough +not to have <i>any</i> gifts. Girls, oughtn’t we chip in—”</p> + +<p>“No, we ought not,” replied Phil, decisively. “The maid and the +laundress are the only ones I remember at Christmas. Mrs. Barrington has +sensibly forbidden the giving of tips, and since we don’t pretend to be +friends it would be a bad precedent.”</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd is an excellent scholar,” said Miss Vincent.</p> + +<p>“If she couldn’t learn something higher she might as well stay on the +lower rounds,” sneered some one. “They relegate these things better in +England. A housemaid’s daughter is generally a housemaid.”</p> + +<p>“I think I have heard of people coming up <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_120" id="pg_120">120</a></span>from the ranks in favored +England,” was the dry rejoinder.</p> + +<p>“Oh, let’s let her alone. She’ll make her way with that high head of +hers. Perhaps she will be President of some college yet.”</p> + +<p>Then they went back to fun. At nine Miss Arran came in and dismissed +them.</p> + +<p>Zay was thinking how solitary the girl must be. Oh, if her mother were +not the general mender! Even if she were a sort of charity scholar! And +she was going to have such a splendid Christmas. Her dear, beloved +mother able to get about by herself, and all the rest of their lives to +be such friends, to go abroad together, to visit picture galleries, +points of interest and compare notes. For Mrs. Crawford had been finely +educated and even the prospect of being an invalid for life had not made +her relax her hold on intellectuality. She had been a delightful friend +to her boys and they were proud enough of her, but Zay would always be +her supreme darling.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Some of the last exercises and conditions were marked off the next day. +Madame Eustice and two of the girls went home. A box came for Miss +Nevins and the girls thronged around at her invitation while Nat drew +out <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_121" id="pg_121">121</a></span>the nails that had fastened it securely, and lifted out a lighter +box.</p> + +<p>“That’s from Madame I know, and I have frocks enough here for winter. +Oh, that’s a splendid fruit cake, and nuts and that’s candied orange and +a box of fruit, and this is some sort of jewelry.”</p> + +<p>She tore off the wrapping eagerly. A long <i>lapis lazuli</i> chain with a +beautiful pendant and links of exquisite color, and a pair of bracelets +to match.</p> + +<p>“It’s elegant,” pronounced Phillipa. “I never go crazy over it myself +and it seems too old for a girl; the sort of thing for a dowager to wear +on state occasions. Now, let us see the frock.”</p> + +<p>A beautiful, fine albatross cloth in itself appropriate, but betrimmed +with pipings of satin and lace.</p> + +<p>“Why it looks like a wedding gown. You’ll have to save it for there will +be no occasion to wear it here. Not even graduation and the lawn fete, +for then we all wear simple white muslin. That is Mrs. Barrington’s +law.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear, and it is so beautiful!” on a half cry. “You see, mamma +thought being a high-up school there would be parties and all that. Last +winter in New York I went to three and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_122" id="pg_122">122</a></span>oh, you should have seen the +dresses! I had one of blue gauze over thin satin and it was just lovely, +and the dancing was simply great, and here you never go any where.”</p> + +<p>“We come here to improve our minds,” said some one sententiously</p> + +<p>“I’d like some real fun and gayety, and think that I must stay all alone +here.”</p> + +<p>“There will be five girls to keep you company.”</p> + +<p>“But there’s no fun or parties or anything. Oh, let’s cut the cake. I +shan’t enjoy it when I am alone.”</p> + +<p>It was a real treat, and the nuts and sweets were a feast. They had not +much appetite for luncheon.</p> + +<p>“But did you ever see anything so idiotic as that lovely frock for such +a girl and a place like this where you do not go to high-up parties,” +said one of the girls in a group, afterward. “And what it must have +cost! It really ought to be returned as very unsuitable.”</p> + +<p>“What can the mother be like, and isn’t the father a politician or a +contractor?” with a laugh.</p> + +<p>“No,” returned Phillipa. “I asked father to find out about them. Mr. +Nevins is a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_123" id="pg_123">123</a></span>reputable banker, a very good judge of loans and is rated +quite highly in London. Then he buys curios and pictures, so he must +have some taste. Think what that silly girl will have, enough to make +any three girls of us fancy ourselves heroines of the Arabian Nights; +but the mother can’t have any sense.”</p> + +<p>“I think the modistes are largely to blame. No doubt the mother ordered +a handsome evening dress, and the woman made it handsome and expensive +and quite useless. You don’t see Zay Crawford with any such things!”</p> + +<p>“Zay is beauty unadorned.”</p> + +<p>“And Miss Nevins is ugliness intensified. I am really sorry for her, +though she has improved a very little. But when you think of the place +she might take in society—”</p> + +<p>“And the journeys!”</p> + +<p>“Still, I wouldn’t want such a mother.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa went to her room to finish her Latin verses.</p> + +<p>“Though why you should be compelled to write Latin verses when you can’t +make decent English rhymes I don’t see,” she grumbled.</p> + +<p>She was almost through when the door flew open and shut again with a +bang and Louie Howe threw herself on the floor clasping <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_124" id="pg_124">124</a></span>Phillipa’s +knees, her eyes distraught with terror.</p> + +<p>“Oh, isn’t it horrible!” she almost shrieked. “Those boys had malignant +scarlet fever! That one was dying the girl held up, he was choking +awfully, and at nine o’clock the other one died. It’s all in the +morning’s paper. I think they hid it away. Miss Vincent picked it up in +the library. Oh, what can we do?”</p> + +<p>“You can stop screaming and get up.” Phillipa fairly dragged her up and +shook her violently. “Hush! hush!” she commanded. “You’ll have the whole +faculty in here, and we’ll be bundled out bag and baggage. Have a little +regard for Zay and me if you have none for yourself.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa drew up the willow rocker and pushed Louie in it. “Don’t have +hysterics if that is what you’re aiming at or I’ll douse you with cold +water until you’re half drowned.”</p> + +<p>Louie was sobbing now. “I can’t help it, and think of the dreadful risk +we ran! That woman ought to be sent to prison.”</p> + +<p>“That woman was going on with her business, earning her living. We were +the fools! How did they know it was scarlet fever?”</p> + +<p>“Well, she thought it was measles and was doctoring them, but one of +them grew so much <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_125" id="pg_125">125</a></span>worse she sent for Dr. Lewis and he was so busy he +didn’t get there until five, just as the boy died, and the other one +hadn’t seemed so bad, but he died at nine, and the youngest girl has the +fever. Dr. Lewis sent for the undertaker right away and they put +something on the bodies and sealed up the coffin and they were to be +buried this morning and the clothes to be burned and the house +fumigated. Oh, isn’t it horrible! The woman ought to go to prison.”</p> + +<p>“After losing her two children?”</p> + +<p>“Well, to give us all scarlet fever, malignant scarlet fever?” with +emphasis.</p> + +<p>Phillipa was quivering in every nerve. But she <i>must</i> control Louie.</p> + +<p>“Well, we shouldn’t have gone there. I think she ought not have let us +in but just said she couldn’t admit customers. Now, what are you going +to do?”</p> + +<p>“I—I—what <i>can</i> I do? I s’pose I’ll have scarlet fever—”</p> + +<p>“You can give the thing away and be sent home in disgrace. You’ll lose +your watch and perhaps not get in another school. You can spoil Zay +Crawford’s life for the present, just <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_126" id="pg_126">126</a></span>when it has reached the loveliest +point of all—”</p> + +<p>“And you?”</p> + +<p>Louie stopped sobbing and studied her companion in wonder.</p> + +<p>“I’m not going to have scarlet fever. Those children haven’t been sick a +week. Scarlet fever is taken from the little flakes that peel off when +the skin begins to dry up. We surely didn’t get any of those. We went +right out in the fresh air and I breathed in a big supply, the room had +been so close. Two of mother’s children had scarlet fever and she took +care of them. None of the others had it. It’s half fright; just pull +yourself together and don’t be an idiot and you’ll come through all +right.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Phil! I wish I had your courage.”</p> + +<p>“You have courage enough only you won’t use it. Just feel certain +nothing is going to happen and you’ll come out all right. We’re going +home so soon that for our sakes you might summon a little courage. If +you go on this way Louie you’ll be—what is it they call hysterical +people? Neurasthenics, I believe. I mean to have a jolly good time with +plenty of lovers and dances and fun and get <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_127" id="pg_127">127</a></span>married. I’m not going to +be a sighing, whimsical old maid, borrowing trouble.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear!” and she fell to sobbing again.</p> + +<p>“Now, Louie, let me give you some ammonia and you lie here on my bed +while I finish this exercise. Get asleep if you can.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, how good you are in real trouble, Phil.”</p> + +<p>“Humph! You don’t know what real trouble is. To be smashed up in a +railroad accident or run over by a trolley or bitten by a mad dog, such +things might make your hair turn white. There now, don’t let me hear +another word out of you.”</p> + +<p>She settled Louie on her bed and covered her over with a shawl, +listening every few moments. The sighing breath became more regular, +there were two or three gentle snores. Phillipa rose presently, went +cautiously to the door and placed the key on the outside, then locked it +softly. Louie might sleep half an hour.</p> + +<p>Just as she turned Zay ran into her arms. “Oh Phil—we’ve just had word. +The steamer will be in this evening. Aunt Kate has sent over and I am to +be dismissed. We go to New York tomorrow morning. Oh, it seems too +blessed to be true, but mother hasn’t lost any <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_128" id="pg_128">128</a></span>ground. What a lovely +Christmas we shall have!”</p> + +<p>“And I’m glad enough for your sake, Zay. I’ve teased you about looking +like that Boyd girl, and I dragged you off into danger, but if anything +should happen to you I never could forgive myself.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t believe we were in any great danger. I hunted up father’s big +medico-something and read about scarlet fever. You don’t take it very +easily, but oh, wasn’t it dreadful for the poor woman! Only I think she +oughtn’t have let us in. The town authorities are going to send them +away as soon as they can. Oh, good-by—but I’ll see you when we come +back.”</p> + +<p>“I’ll keep tab on Louie. We must just hold together. It won’t do for the +thing to leak out. I was a ninny to propose such a thing.” They kissed +each other and walked down stairs together. Most of the girls were in +the school room discussing the newspaper account. The town was clean and +in excellent shape, there were no fears of an epidemic and even now Dr. +Lewis was not quite sure but it’s origin was measles, since the little +girl had a decided case. The strictest watch would be kept. The clothes +and some rubbish had been <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_129" id="pg_129">129</a></span>burned. The clairvoyant’s knowledge of the +future was held up to withering ridicule.</p> + +<p>Louie Howe had a long, refreshing nap and woke up in much better heart. +The short day ended by a little gymnasium practice but all the girls +were rather nervous over the affair.</p> + +<p>“Why, I had the scarlet fever once,” announced Miss Nevins, “and mamma +would have three doctors!”</p> + +<p>“And you lived through all that?” laughed some one. “Then scarlet fever +can’t be dangerous.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t remember being very sick, and then father sent us to Bermuda. +It was when the lilies were in bloom. It’s such a lovely place!”</p> + +<p>“Young ladies,” began Mrs. Barrington as they rose from the table, “as +our work is about done I have decided to dismiss school. Some of your +parents may see this sensational account, and everything does get so +exaggerated. There is not the slightest fear of an epidemic, but you +will all be glad of a little longer holiday. I hope you will all return +in good health and the resolve to do your best towards finishing your +year in the best possible manner.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_130" id="pg_130">130</a></span>“You believe there isn’t real danger?” asked Miss Kingsland.</p> + +<p>“There have been no cases about the town to indicate an epidemic. The +little girl’s case seems to be not very serious as her fever is abating. +Oh, I think we at least need not feel the slightest alarm. We have no +slums to foster contagion.”</p> + +<p>Still, the two sudden deaths had created a frightened sort of +impression. The girls kept discussing them until Phillipa protested.</p> + +<p>“Who is going home tomorrow?” she asked. “After all it is only a day +sooner, and who has their Christmas gifts done up? Must we save our +jolliness until we get home? We are all coming back in a fortnight, and +spring comes so soon after the holidays, and there’s pegging away at +everything and finally graduation.”</p> + +<p>Some began to hunt up trains, others went to packing. Phillipa kept +Louie near her and made funny unsentimental speeches until the old +feeling seemed quite restored. Some gifts were exchanged, some guesses +as to what home presents would be and they said good-night in the best +of spirits.</p> + +<p>“Now, Louie,” began Phil, escorting her to her door, “if you get a +granny fit in the night and see horrible things, you just come to my +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_131" id="pg_131">131</a></span>room and hop into bed with me, and think what a gay time you’ll be +having tomorrow night this time, much gayer than Miss Nevins with all +her money and her three party frocks with no place to display them.”</p> + +<p>Louie laughed. “Oh, Phil, you’re such a comfort,” she said with an +extravagant hug, “but aren’t you going home tomorrow?”</p> + +<p>“No, not until Friday. I want to see Zay before I go, and I’m not afraid +of unlucky Friday either,” laughing.</p> + +<p>Louie slept soundly and was in very good spirits. The girls were all +eager for the morning paper. The scare was pretty well over. The boys +had been buried, the little girl was no worse and if fever did not +develop it would simply be a case of measles.</p> + +<p>Then most of the girls said good-by, wishing each other a merry +Christmas. The others huddled together and bewailed their hard lot, +missing Miss Boyd very much. Her mother was quite poorly, which was +given as her excuse. Mrs. Dane insisted upon a rigorous exclusion until +all danger of contagion was over.</p> + +<p>Quite late in the afternoon Phillipa walked over to Crawford House and +sent up her card to Zaidee with a penciled message. The girl came flying +through the hall, more beautiful <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_132" id="pg_132">132</a></span>than ever Phil thought, in her soft +red cashmere with white lace garnishings.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Phil dear, I’m so glad to see you! I was afraid you would go home +before I had a glimpse of you. We’ve been so busy and so full of joy! +Oh, you can’t think what it is to see mother walking around with no +crutches and the wheel chair set aside, and she’s in such splendid +spirits. Vincent will be allowed to come home as a special favor to +papa, getting here early Monday morning and returning that night. We’re +just going to have a family dinner with a very few dear friends, but New +Year’s night I am to have a party. Oh, can’t you come back a little +sooner. I’d like so to have you.”</p> + +<p>“I don’t believe I can, and you know there are the lovers and the +diamond ring”—laughing.</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear! <i>Can</i> you believe any of it? And the surprise that I’m not +going to be pleased with. It isn’t that Willard has fallen in love, he +is going to have his three years’ cruise first. Oh, were you <i>much</i> +frightened, Phil? It was dreadful, and no one can tell where the boys +took the disease. I can’t help feeling sorry for the poor mother if she +is <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_133" id="pg_133">133</a></span>a humbug, it is such a sad Christmas for her, and was Louie much +frightened?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, she almost went into hysterics and I was afraid she’d give us all +away, but I did manage to get her off safely, and bound her by the most +solemn promises not to mention the escapade at home. It wasn’t the right +thing for us to do of course, but mischief always looks so tempting to +you and if we keep silence no harm will be done. It wasn’t as bad as +they thought.”</p> + +<p>A shudder went over Zay’s slight figure.</p> + +<p>“And I am so glad you didn’t worry yourself ill,” Phillipa rejoined with +real feeling.</p> + +<p>“Phil, can’t you stay to dinner and see mother? She’s lying down +now—there have been so many calls. Father brought home the German +nurse, who measures off her time in a very funny manner, and he escorts +mother down stairs and up again as if he was a young lover.”</p> + +<p>“No, dear, thank you. When I come back the rush will be over and we will +have a good time. I’ve twenty things to do and start at nine tomorrow. +Good-by and have just the most splendid time, as I shall have. So good +luck for a fortnight,” and they kissed each other warmly.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_134" id="pg_134">134</a></span> +<a name="A_STRANGE_CONFESSION_3291" id="A_STRANGE_CONFESSION_3291"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER VIII</h2> +<h3>A STRANGE CONFESSION</h3> +</div> + +<p>The girl who had been wrongfully accused was not so light hearted. Mrs. +Dane still preserved her suspicious aspect, and of course the whole +school was eager for every bit of news. Lilian said nothing to her +mother about the talk, she seemed rather fretful and uneasy, as if she +was annoyed by the girl’s presence.</p> + +<p>So on Thursday afternoon she went out for a walk. Just beyond the gate +she saw Edith Trenham coming toward her.</p> + +<p>“Oh, were you going out? Let us walk together, then. I have so much to +say to you? Did you think it queer?”</p> + +<p>“I know now,” said Lilian. “It was dreadful!”</p> + +<p>“I had to go home for some important school papers, and just slipped in +and out again when you saw me. Of course I did not want it spoken of. +Mother has been very careful keeping the windows on that side of the +house closed. Claire has never had any of the infantile diseases. The +woman thought it measles at first, but they are so particular in the +schools, now. We closed today. Mother <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_135" id="pg_135">135</a></span>is going to shut up the house for +awhile and board at Mrs. Lane’s while they fumigate and burn up. The +authorities have ordered the old house torn down. I think not a great +many people visited her, though they did at first. I only hope the +little girl will not die. Mother spoke to the oldest one that morning +and she said her brothers were very ill and that her mother thought she +would have a doctor, but it was too late when he came. Oh, I hope there +will not be any more cases.”</p> + +<p>“It would be terrible if they died like that. Our classes are dismissed +as well, I believe there was a great fright among the girls, and just at +Christmas time, too.”</p> + +<p>“Will you go down with me tomorrow and have a look at the stores? This +has upset our plans. I wanted you and your mother to come and take +Christmas dinner with us.”</p> + +<p>“Mother doesn’t seem at all well. I doubt if she could go out, and I +couldn’t leave her for pleasure.”</p> + +<p>“Well, some other time; and how are you getting along? I suppose you +have vacation as well?”</p> + +<p>“Oh yes. Madame thinks I shall acquire French easily. She reads French +verses so splendidly, and I am doing well in Latin, but <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_136" id="pg_136">136</a></span>oh, there are +such stores of reading! It is a hardship to tear myself away, and poetry +just enchants me—well, when it is high and fine. I have begun ‘The +Idylls of the King.’ Oh it must be just glorious to write such poetry!”</p> + +<p>“It is a rare gift, and it is something to be able to read and +appreciate.”</p> + +<p>“I sometimes envy the girls who have so much leisure, yet they seem not +to improve it. But then—oh, you don’t know how lovely it is here, how +much there is to interest and satisfy. Of course I’m not <i>quite</i> +satisfied at present,” and Lilian gave a light laugh, “but the town is +so truly beautiful and the house—I wonder if it is silly but I walk +about at times and do enjoy the soft rugs, the handsome furniture, the +pictures, the beautiful bits of art scattered around, and oh, the books! +There never was anything like it in my life before, and if I go back to +comparative poverty, which I suppose I shall some day, for I never can +earn any thing like this, it will linger in my mind as a journey to some +enchanting place. There is so much to learn all the time. Not merely out +of books but the sweet and gracious things one can do; Mrs. Barrington +is so lovely. Am I tiring you with these visionary things?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_137" id="pg_137">137</a></span>“No, my dear girl, I am glad you can enjoy them and treasure them up +without a feeling of envy. We cannot all of us abound in this world’s +goods, but we can be glad someone has them and is willing to share them +with us, at least, allow us to look on.”</p> + +<p>“I’m going to study every day and get on as fast as possible. I’m +longing for the time when I can earn money and have a little home of our +own. I wish”—then she paused and recovering herself after a moment, +resumed—“I wish to make some nice friends in my own walk in life, among +those who really love to work and bring about results.”</p> + +<p>“And I am sure you will do it. And loving whatever is fine and true and +gracious shapes one’s character. God has given us the sense of enjoyment +and he means us to make the best use of it that we can. Oh, we must turn +about. See how far we have walked, and there is a baby crescent moon.”</p> + +<p>The dun white of the sky was thinning into blue and here and there a +star pricked through. It was clear and crisp yet the air had a fragrance +of the cedars and spruces. They hurried along, and Lilian promised to +meet her friend tomorrow for another walk. She had never been an +effusive girl, but she could talk <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_138" id="pg_138">138</a></span>so easily to Edith and in the +interchange she could throw off the things that annoyed or depressed +her.</p> + +<p>So they said good-night and she entered the pretty vestibule where she +had first seen Mrs. Barrington. Her heart gave a quick bound as she +thought of that lady’s confidence in her truth. Mrs. Dane must sometime +be convinced of her injustice.</p> + +<p>She ran lightly up the stairs, wondering a little that her mother’s room +should be in darkness. Crossing over to the match safe she stumbled over +something on the floor and struck a light in half terror.</p> + +<p>“Oh mother! mother!” she cried to the prostrate figure. Then in sudden +fear she called in the hall—“Oh, will some one come! I cannot tell what +has happened to mother.”</p> + +<p>Miss Arran answered. The face was deadly white and cold, the eyes half +open, staring.</p> + +<p>“Oh, she is dead! I went out to walk and staid too long.” Lilian’s voice +was full of remorseful pathos.</p> + +<p>“No,” said Miss Arran. “I think she has only fainted. Her heart beats a +little; Let us lay her on the bed and I’ll get some restoratives. Is she +accustomed to fainting?”</p> + +<p>“Not like this. Oh poor mother!”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_139" id="pg_139">139</a></span>They laid her on the bed, chafed her hands and bathed her face, using +the lavender salts. After a little there was a faint respiration. Then +she opened her eyes and murmured something.</p> + +<p>“Mother, dear, what happened? And I was away.” “It will be better +when—when I’m gone.” The vague glance seemed to study the girl with +poignant anguish. “Oh, yes!—better—”</p> + +<p>“You must not say that. You must live to let me repay you for all you +have done for me, and we will be happy—”</p> + +<p>She moved her head from side to side in dissent. “Oh, you do not know, +but I did it for love’s sake. I could not live without my child.”</p> + +<p>“Suppose we get her undressed, she will feel more comfortable. She has +not looked well for the last week or two. Mrs. Barrington was speaking +about it, but she is such a quiet body.”</p> + +<p>Lilian opened the bed. She was girlishly glad her mother’s night dress +was neat and lace trimmed, fit to go to her new home. So they soon had +her easier and restful.</p> + +<p>“I should like a cup of tea,” she said, weakly.</p> + +<p>“I’ll get it,” and Miss Arran left the room.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_140" id="pg_140">140</a></span>“Dear mother,” and Lilian patted the hands that were thin and cold.</p> + +<p>“Oh, love me a little to the end, I’ve loved you so much. Whatever comes +you will know I did it for love’s sake, and you must forgive.”</p> + +<p>“There can be nothing to forgive. You have worked for me early and late. +You must live and let me repay you, make you happy. If I have failed in +the past I will try with all my soul and strength in the future. Think, +every year brings us nearer the home I shall make for you. Oh, do not +talk of dying!”</p> + +<p>“You don’t know. I did not think of the wrong then. You were a +motherless babe, then, and I was a childless mother. For you must know, +you must have felt in your inmost soul that I was not your true mother.”</p> + +<p>Lilian raised her head in the wildest dismay, and though she stared at +Miss Arran she did not seem to see her. Many a time like a lightning +flash the thought had swept over her, but it seemed awful to have it put +in words, to have the certainty pierce through her like a sharp sword.</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, you do not know what you are saying. It is some wretched, +horrid dream! You have been too much alone. You have <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_141" id="pg_141">141</a></span>brooded over this +thought of our differences. Children and parents are often unlike. At +all events I have never known any other mother. You must live and let me +prove a true daughter.”</p> + +<p>“I did not think there could be any wrong then. If you were cast on the +world friendless, why should I not fill my aching heart with baby love. +Yes, you did love me then, you clung to me. I never thought of there +being someone else—a father, perhaps—oh, heaven help us both!”</p> + +<p>She had raised herself soon after she began to talk; now she fell back +on the pillow fainting. Lilian was sobbing. Miss Arran came to her +relief.</p> + +<p>“I think we must have a physician. I will see Mrs. Barrington.”</p> + +<p>The faint was of short duration. Miss Arran was strangely mystified. Was +Mrs. Boyd’s talk an hallucination or some secret kept for years that +must needs make its way out at last? Had she any right to repeat it on +mere suspicion?</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington sent for Dr. Kendricks at once. Then she went to Mrs. +Boyd’s room. How very frail she looked.</p> + +<p>“My poor child,” the lady said, “this is very <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_142" id="pg_142">142</a></span>hard for you, and I think +you did not come in to dinner. Suppose you go down stairs for awhile?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, no, I must stay here. Poor mother—”</p> + +<p>“Lilian,” murmured the feeble voice and the thin hand wandered out as if +for a clasp.</p> + +<p>She took it, pressed it to her lips, her firm, warm cheek. Should she +pray for life? Would not God send what was best? Oh, that she might have +strength to accept it. She raised her eyes to Mrs. Barrington in +entreaty. Oh, who was she so like at that moment?</p> + +<p>The doctor was announced. Miss Arran sat by the bedside. There was a +lamp on the table and he asked that it might be lighted, making a close +survey of the patient.</p> + +<p>“Was there any shock? Her vitality is at a very low ebb. When was the +first unconscious spell?”</p> + +<p>“I was out,” began Lilian, tremulously. “She insisted that I should go +and seemed to want to be alone. I staid longer than I meant, and found +her fallen to the floor—”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd raised to a partly sitting posture and looked up with feverish +eagerness.</p> + +<p>“I went to put something in the chiffonier—you will find it, Lilian, in +a box and the key is—oh, what did I do with it?”</p> + +<p>“Never mind, dear,” in a soft tone.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_143" id="pg_143">143</a></span>“But <i>you</i> must mind, and then I turned—it was my leg. It is heavy and +I can’t raise it, but the ache is all gone.”</p> + +<p>Dr. Kendricks turned down the blanket and examined the limb, nodding as +if convinced.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” she cried, “is it paralysis? Then it will not be long. My mother +had two strokes a week apart, her mother never rallied from the first. +I’m tired—worn out, and Lilian will be better off without me. She may +find—I have written it all out—it’s there in the drawer—”</p> + +<p>“Oh mother!” Lilian kissed her and put her back on the pillow where she +gave a gasping sigh.</p> + +<p>Dr. Kendricks beckoned Mrs. Barrington out of the room.</p> + +<p>“She is in a very low condition and I doubt if she survives more than a +few days. What about the girl—<i>is</i> it her daughter?”</p> + +<p>“Why, yes—though they are very dissimilar; but she is a devoted +daughter. The mother is caretaker, the daughter a student.”</p> + +<p>“She seems to have exhausted nature. The fainting spells may be a method +of rest. Let her sleep all she can. Very little can be done for her. I +will leave some drops to be given if she is very restless and will look +in in the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_144" id="pg_144">144</a></span>morning. It is rather unfortunate this should happen to you, +just now.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, school has closed and there is plenty of help. I want everything +done for her.”</p> + +<p>Then Mrs. Barrington returned to the room. Miss Arran sat by the foot of +the bed, Lilian was bathing her mother’s face.</p> + +<p>“My child,” Mrs. Barrington said, “you had better lie down and get a +little rest. We will watch—”</p> + +<p>“No, I want Lilian,” entreated the mother. “You will not leave me? When +I am a little rested I want to tell you how it came—”</p> + +<p>“Yes, yes, but not now. I would rather stay here. It is my place, and +now there are no other duties.”</p> + +<p>So the hours wore on. Mrs. Boyd seemed to fall into a tranquil sleep. +Lilian laid down on her own bed, and slept in a disturbed sort of +fashion. Then morning came, and the house was astir.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Miss Arran have you watched all night? How good you are!”</p> + +<p>“I had several naps. Your mother was very quiet. She seems better. Mrs. +Dane is coming in and you must get some breakfast. Then if we need a +nurse—”</p> + +<p>“Oh, no, do not have one. My place is <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_145" id="pg_145">145</a></span>here. Oh, Miss Arran,” and Lilian +turned deadly pale, “you heard what she said last evening. It <i>can’t</i> be +true. Would any one ever work and make sacrifices for a child not her +own? She <i>is</i> my mother.”</p> + +<p>Miss Arran nodded. “Unless she is much worse I do not think we will need +a nurse. There will be so little to do in the house that I shall be +quite at liberty.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, Mrs. Boyd was much stronger,” the doctor admitted, though the case +was not much more hopeful. A second stroke might end it all. “But she +seems to have something on her mind. Is it anxiety about her daughter?”</p> + +<p>“I have assured her that Lilian will be my charge. She has the making of +an unusually fine scholar, and she is a high minded, honorable girl, +sincere and ambitious.”</p> + +<p>“The daughter has taken from somewhere a much stronger physical and +mental equipment. What of the father?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, he died when she was a mere infant.”</p> + +<p>The embargo had been removed from Lilian and Mrs. Dane treated her with +a sort of tolerant sympathy. She roamed about the deserted library and +chose some books, a few girls waylaid her in the school room. Miss +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_146" id="pg_146">146</a></span>Nevins made an importunate appeal, quite forgetting her past disdain.</p> + +<p>“Oh, why can’t you stay down here?” she cried. “It’s awful dull, and +there’s no fun going on. Miss Graniss is going to take us down town when +the stores are lighted up, but it’s so long to wait until evening.”</p> + +<p>“Mother is ill and I want to stay with her,” Lilian returned coldly, +provoked at the selfishness. She read awhile, then took up some +embroidery. Miss Trenham came in with the gift of a beautiful volume of +poems. Claire sent a little reminder in a most exquisite book mark. She +was quite delighted in the change to another home, where there were two +girls. “Could Edith do anything for them?”</p> + +<p>“They are all so good here, and mother doesn’t need much, she seems to +sleep a good deal.”</p> + +<p>The sick girl at the Clairvoyant’s was improving. Not even a case of +measles had been reported in town.</p> + +<p>So the winter day drew to a close. Lilian watched the little procession +starting out under the convoy of Miss Graniss. Yes, she had run out that +way at Laconia—how long ago it seemed. Oh, she ought to have sent a few +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_147" id="pg_147">147</a></span>gifts to old girl friends. She had really no heart for gladness.</p> + +<p>Lilian sat over by the gas burner reading that most beautiful Christmas +part of “In Memoriam.” She almost heard the “happy bells ring across the +snow,” so rapt was she in the poets charm. Then something stirred. Her +mother was trying to raise herself.</p> + +<p>“Oh mother—”</p> + +<p>“Put the pillows around me, so, I want to sit up. I want to talk. I have +been living it over. And I am surely going to that other country. I +shall have my own two babies in my arms, and their father will come to +meet me. I want to tell you how it was. It has come back so distinctly, +much plainer than when I wrote it.”</p> + +<p>Miss Arran had started to come in but paused at the door. Lilian’s back +was towards her. Mrs. Dane going through the hall paused as Miss Arran +held up her finger.</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, not tonight.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, now. I feel so strong. After husband died my brother sent for me +and wanted me to take up some land adjoining his. Mr. Holland, who was +holding the life insurance—all I had, was not willing until I had seen +what the place was like and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_148" id="pg_148">148</a></span>he thought that kind of life very hard on +women, but my brother was the only relative I had, though I had not seen +him for years. After I had started I was frightened about the journey +and the strange people. There was one woman with a baby, a bright, +beautiful child with rosy cheeks and brilliant eyes. I supposed her the +mother, for I saw her nurse the infant, and there was with them such a +beautiful woman. She came to me in the night, and when I looked at her +the last time she was dead,” and she sighed.</p> + +<p>“We were most of us asleep when there was an awful crash. Then horrible +shrieks and cries and being thrown about—”</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, don’t, don’t!” Lilian implored. “Your mind is wandering—”</p> + +<p>“No, it is true, horribly true. It was one of the awful accidents of +that time, more than fifteen years ago, but I suppose I became +unconscious. My babe flew out of my arms; my little baby,” in a +lingering tone as if the words were sweet to say.</p> + +<p>“When I came to myself it was in a room where several were lying around +on cots, and two women sat close together trying to hush the crying +child.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_149" id="pg_149">149</a></span>“Give me my baby, I almost shrieked. Bring me my baby.”</p> + +<p>“They brought it and I hugged it to my breast, gave it nourishment, +cuddled it in my arms and I fell asleep full of joy. We both slept a +long while. When I woke the woman brought me a cup of tea and some +bread. I was ravenously hungry. Then I asked what had happened. It had +been twenty-four hours.”</p> + +<p>“It was a horrible accident at a place where tracks crossed. All day +they had been clearing away the wreck and sending bodies into the +nearest towns for this place was small. A number had been killed +outright. Will you give me some of that tea in the tumbler?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, do not tell any more,” the girl pleaded, shuddering.</p> + +<p>“Yes, I must, I must! When morning came the woman helped me up and I had +some breakfast. I had been stunned and bruised, but no bones were +broken.”</p> + +<p>“We are so glad the baby was yours,” one of the women said. “The other +poor baby and its mother was killed.”</p> + +<p>“I went to the bed presently and turned down the blanket. There lay the +lovely child warm and rosy, the picture of health. I devoured it with +kisses. Yes, it was mine. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_150" id="pg_150">150</a></span>God had saved it and sent it to me. It had no +mother, so it was mine. I called it by my baby’s name, and I couldn’t +have cared more for my own flesh and blood. You were so beautiful and +bright—so fond and loving. On the other side of the room lay the lovely +woman who had interested me so much. They thought her dying, she looked +as if she were dead, I never saw anything more perfect. She was like +sculptured marble. They were trying to get every one away and the next +day an official questioned me and offered to make good any loss. I had +my ticket pinned to the lining of my dress, and what money I had taken +with me sewed up in a little bag. There had been a fire as well, and +much of the baggage was burned. I had lost my trunk but they paid me its +full value and more, and sent me on my journey.”</p> + +<p>“I have told you what a dismal place my brother had in Wisconsin. There +were five big, rough children. I was not fitted for farm work. I missed +my old friends and so I went back to Laconia, but my whole life was +wrapped up in you.”</p> + +<p>“And many a time I must have seemed ungrateful. Oh, mother, when you did +so much for me!” sobbed Lilian.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_151" id="pg_151">151</a></span>“Oh, dear, I have thought it all out. You were not of my kind. It +fretted me at first. You were always a little lady, doing things in a +nicer way than most girls, and you were forever reading and studying. If +we could have kept the boarding house,” in tones of regret, “but there +was my long illness and the house was sold torn down for a great +factory. Then I took up the sewing. It was easier in some ways. I liked +Sally Marks and her mother so much. The gay jolliness and the merry +chat. They were like two girls together. But your heart was set on the +High School. Oh, Lilian, do believe I would have kept you there if I +could. Then I began to wonder what your own mother and father had been +like, and if your father was alive. Perhaps he could have done much +better for you. The thought wore on me, and I was not well; I knew that. +You see I should have had a girl who did not mind working in a shop and +enjoying good times with other girls, going to parties and picnics and +having lovers and marrying as I did, and having babies. I loved babies +so. To be a grandmother to a little flock seemed very heaven to me.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, don’t! You will break my heart,” sobbed Lilian.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_152" id="pg_152">152</a></span>“No, child, you were not to blame. God gave you all these high thoughts +and ambitions; I never had any of them, and after we came here I +understood it still better. You belonged to these kind of people, your +ways were theirs, your ambition was right, and I was very thankful that +such a refuge opened for us. You have been a good, devoted child. +Tomorrow we will talk it over again. Now will you send for some toast +and eat. Oh, Lilian, child, don’t cry. God will bring you out right and +forgive me for what I did out of longing love.”</p> + +<p>Lilian turned, Miss Arran took a step forward. “I will bring it to you,” +she said, and she motioned to Mrs. Dane who stood like a statue.</p> + +<p>“Let us go to Mrs. Barrington. She must know this,” she whispered.</p> + +<p>Lilian bathed her face and readjusted her mother’s pillows. The whole +world seemed in a daze about her. Yet she was not so much surprised +either, but stunned, incapable now of judging whether there had been any +right or wrong. If no one belonging to her had been found—and her own +mother was among the killed, she might have been turned over to some +foundling asylum.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_153" id="pg_153">153</a></span>“I feel much better,” exclaimed Mrs. Boyd. “But, oh, Lilian, don’t pray +for me to live, for I should be a helpless burden on you, and I’ll have +my two own babies in heaven. I meant to do it for the best when I +claimed you, and I think God will understand. It’s been a poor, broken +sort of life but I’ve tried to do up to the lights I had, and yours will +be better, higher. Mrs. Barrington appreciated you and will help you. +God surely opened this way for us.”</p> + +<p>Was it truly of God’s providence? She had longed so ardently for the +refinements of life, the possibilities of education. Some times it +seemed as if He answered petitions in the suppliant’s way and freighted +them with another burden.</p> + +<p>But if this should be laid upon her she would pray for strength to do +her whole duty. It was hardly likely she would ever find any one +belonging to her, that was too wild a thought. She would keep this +generous foster mother as long as she needed love and care.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_154" id="pg_154">154</a></span> +<a name="WHOSE_CHILD_AM_I_3769" id="WHOSE_CHILD_AM_I_3769"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER IX</h2> +<h3>WHOSE CHILD AM I?</h3> +</div> + +<p>Miss Arran tapped lightly at the half-open door and Mrs. Barrington bade +both ladies enter.</p> + +<p>“How is Mrs. Boyd?”</p> + +<p>“Why she seems curiously better. She has been talking awhile to her +daughter and her voice has a latent strength that surprises one, and we +have been unwitting listeners to a most remarkable story. Did you ever +suspect that she might not be the own mother of Miss Boyd?”</p> + +<p>“The thought has crossed my mind. They are so dissimilar.”</p> + +<p>“I have never really liked Mrs. Boyd or the girl either,” began Mrs. +Dane. “There seemed something to conceal, some secret between them. I +had a fancy Lilian was on the watch all the time lest her mother should +betray it.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, did you think that? It appeared to me the anxiety of a girl of good +breeding lest her mother should fall into habits of a different kind +that were rather annoying. Yet they had always been together—”</p> + +<p>“It seemed to me aping a style really above what she had been used, a +certain pretentiousness, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_155" id="pg_155">155</a></span>that did not appear suitable to her position, +but she has proved a devoted nurse and daughter, and I will confess my +prejudice has received a great shock, and I admit frankly that I may +have been mistaken when I accused her of being at the Clairvoyant’s. +Miss Arran will you tell the story—it seems a deathbed confession.”</p> + +<p>Miss Arran began. She had started to go in Mrs. Boyd’s room to see if +anything was needed when the words arrested her, and she detailed the +journey Mrs. Boyd had undertaken with her infant child, the dreadful +midnight disaster, the unconsciousness of the poor woman until the next +day, her hearing the child cry and claiming it unwittingly, and then +learning the child’s mother had been killed as well as her own baby and +her resolve to keep it; her taking it on her farther journey, and caring +for it as her own, her latent remorse lest she should have defrauded the +girl out of a better birthright—</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington rose suddenly and paced the room in strange agitation.</p> + +<p>“Somewhere I have heard a story that might be the other side of this. It +is very strange,” clasping her hands. “One would not want to make a +mistake.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_156" id="pg_156">156</a></span>“I wish you might <i>hear</i> the story, and one point of importance is +whether it would be wisdom to help the girl in any search for her +parentage. Sometimes unfortunate facts come to light. You, perhaps, can +tell what will be the best course to pursue.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I am glad you came to me. I had resolved to keep Miss Boyd here +after her mother was gone. I must give the matter some thought. We will +not be hasty. Yes, I should like to hear the confession and ask her some +questions. Lilian must not stay alone tonight.”</p> + +<p>“I will gladly offer my services if they would be acceptable,” said Mrs. +Dane.</p> + +<p>“I think I will take the first part of the night, and then you may be +watcher. I thank you very much for your kindness.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington went to the quiet apartment. Lilian had fallen asleep +with her head on her mother’s pillow. She had exhausted herself with a +soft, pitiful crying. With the quick unreason of youth she upbraided +herself for the many times she had been secretly mortified at her +mother’s lack of the qualities she liked best. She had spent hours in +dreaming of a phantom mother sweet, graceful and refined, who loved all +delightful things, who <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_157" id="pg_157">157</a></span>was stirred by music and poetry, who could +receive guests with a gracious hospitality in the pretty home which +should be simple as befitted moderate means. The sympathy between them +would be perfect. They would linger over well-loved poets, they would +discuss their brave heroes and favorite heroines. How many times she had +fallen asleep with this dear mother’s hand clasped in hers!</p> + +<p>But here had been the hard working mother instead. Yes, she had tried to +help. Nearly all the summer vacation she had sewed steadily, but she had +never given the real love. It was as if neither truly understood the +other’s language.</p> + +<p>“All the rest of her life I will try,” was her last conscious thought.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington found them both asleep. She studied the girl’s face, the +finely cut features, the wide eyelids with their bronze fringe, the +beautifully curved lips. It <i>was</i> an aristocratic face. She hardly dared +think there <i>was</i> a resemblance, and yet it explained what had puzzled +her at times. “Lilian,” she said softly. “Lilian, child, it is time you +were in bed.”</p> + +<p>The girl roused suddenly with a startled <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_158" id="pg_158">158</a></span>look. Then she caught the hand +and pressed a fervent kiss upon it.</p> + +<p>“You are all so kind,” she murmured. “I can never repay you +sufficiently.”</p> + +<p>“Do not think of that, I am going to sit here awhile with your mother +and you must try and get some sleep.”</p> + +<p>“Mother is better I think,” hesitatingly. “She is stronger, and now she +is sleeping peacefully.”</p> + +<p>She slept on with only a rather heavy breathing. At one Mrs. Dane came +to relieve her. Lilian was on the alert quite early and her mother asked +for some breakfast.</p> + +<p>At ten the doctor came. “I feel so much stronger,” the invalid said, +“but I can’t move my limbs. There doesn’t seem any life in them.”</p> + +<p>“It was quite a severe stroke.”</p> + +<p>“And if I should have another?”</p> + +<p>“We won’t think of that just now. You must eat what you can of +nourishing food.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd glanced up at the doctor with beseeching eyes—</p> + +<p>“It is best that I shouldn’t live—”</p> + +<p>“For your daughter’s sake.” Dr. Kendricks felt almost ashamed of the +platitude. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_159" id="pg_159">159</a></span>A helpless burden on a young girl, a poor, weak woman.</p> + +<p>“It <i>is</i> for her sake. She has found a good friend in Mrs. Barrington, +and I can do no more. I did what I thought best then, but I did it for +the sake of my aching, lonely heart. But for the child I believe I must +have died then. Doesn’t God forgive when you do what seems best?”</p> + +<p>There was anguish in every line of the wasted face.</p> + +<p>“God knows the motive of every deed, and if it is done in single +mindedness, in love and charity he will accept.”</p> + +<p>“It was done in love. You see, her mother was dead. There was no one to +claim her. Oh, what am I saying! Go away, you can do nothing for me,” +and she turned her face over to the wall.</p> + +<p>He stood some seconds by her. She was crying softly, and again motioned +him away with her hand.</p> + +<p>He went out of the room and looked around. Yes, there was Mrs. +Barrington.</p> + +<p>“What is the matter between that mother and daughter?” he inquired +brusquely. “She seems—well <i>is</i> the girl her own child? Has she +done—something—”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_160" id="pg_160">160</a></span>“Oh, doctor can you spare a little time? I am troubled and puzzled. She +made a strange confession last night and it seemed almost as if I knew +the connecting link. Let me call Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran.”</p> + +<p>They came and at Mrs. Barrington’s invitation were seated. The doctor +studied them a moment with drawn brows.</p> + +<p>“Doctor, I want you to relate your experience of more than fifteen years +ago when you went out to the scene of that frightful accident from which +Mrs. Crawford has suffered so long and when her twin daughter was lost.”</p> + +<p>“What has that to do with it?”</p> + +<p>“You will see. I believe Major Crawford left his wife and daughter in +your charge when he was ordered to the west with his regiment.”</p> + +<p>“Yes.” He seemed to study a few moments. “Then came the word of the +skirmish with the Indians when he was wounded in the leg which proved so +much worse than he first thought and she decided to go out to him and +take one of the babies. He had gone fairly wild over the birth of the +little girls; they had so longed for a daughter. Marguerite, if you +remember, was a strong, robust baby, laughing if you so much as smiled +at her. A beautiful baby, I thought, looking much like her mother. +Zaidee <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_161" id="pg_161">161</a></span>was smaller and more delicate, though never ill that I can +recall. She decided to take Marguerite and the wet nurse who was very +proud of her charge and fond of Mrs. Crawford. When we heard of the +frightful disaster you may remember that I went out at once. It was a +most dreary place, just a sort of freight station where the tracks +crossed the through road. It could not be called a town, though now it +is a thriving city and the freighting road runs miles below. When I +reached the place most of the wreckage had been cleared away, the dead +buried, the wounded sent to friends or hospitals at a distance. I found +about half a dozen remaining, four of them almost well enough to resume +their journey. Two were thought hopeless, one of them being Mrs. +Crawford. Fifteen years ago there were not so many conveniences as there +are now, and as the fire broke out afterward the baggage was mostly lost +and it was quite difficult to find the names of the passengers at first. +The nurse and the baby had been killed outright. There was one other +baby on the train and that had been taken farther West with its mother.”</p> + +<p>Miss Arran and the housekeeper exchanged glances.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_162" id="pg_162">162</a></span>“Mrs. Crawford had sustained some injury to the brain and for the first +few days they had thought her dead half a dozen times. The people where +she had been taken were very kind. She was in a comatose state most of +the time, and when she roused seemed quite ignorant of what had +happened. There was some injury to the back that rendered her limbs +useless. As soon as I could make arrangements I had her removed to +Indianapolis to a fine hospital where we found, on an exhaustive +examination, the spine had been injured, the ligatures strained and +muscles actually torn apart. When the Major was well enough to +travel—and he came very near losing his leg, it seemed, he joined us, +and we journeyed on to New York. Meanwhile the Major’s brother had died, +a queer, penurious old fellow who had never given up his rights in the +estate and now it all came to the Major, besides a large amount of +money. He resigned from the army and they came home. Mrs. Crawford had +kept her mind through all this and had been most brave, recovering very +slowly as you know and when she could manage to get about on crutches it +appeared as if the last stage of recovery had been attained; but now it +seems nothing short of a miracle. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_163" id="pg_163">163</a></span>And there was the beautiful little +golden haired fairy to gladden their hearts—”</p> + +<p>“But the nurse and the child?” interrupted Miss Arran.</p> + +<p>“The child was crushed beyond recognition. They placed it in the coffin +with the nurse and buried it temporarily. The Major meant to have it +brought home, but it was so long before they could get about it, and it +seemed like living the heart-breaking episode over, so he concluded to +have it permanently interred in a burying ground a few miles distant, +which is now a really beautiful spot. Mrs. Crawford was ill so long that +it seems like a dream to her.”</p> + +<p>“And did no one ever hear of the other child?”</p> + +<p>“What was there to hear? The mother claimed it.”</p> + +<p>“The woman dying in yonder room claimed the child first, ignorantly, +then believing the mother dead, took it in the place of her poor +murdered child.”</p> + +<p>“No!” The doctor sprang up and began to pace the floor. “Why, then, that +young girl—”</p> + +<p>“Miss Arran will you tell the other side of <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_164" id="pg_164">164</a></span>the story. Why it seems to +me there can be no mistake,” said Mrs. Barrington.</p> + +<p>“Well—this is most marvelous. Does the girl know—”</p> + +<p>“Oh, she protests. I think she has no idea. But the mother fancies we +may find some relative, a father perhaps, for she truly believes the +mother dead.”</p> + +<p>“But this confession—would she repeat it again?”</p> + +<p>“I think she spoke of having it written out somewhere.”</p> + +<p>“It must be well authenticated, you know. And—what steps have you +considered?”</p> + +<p>“None. Tomorrow will be Sunday—they will all go to church to give +thanks; then on Christmas day they are to have a small family dinner. +You and Mrs. Kendricks and myself, two or three dear old friends, and it +would be hardly wise to mar the sacredness of the occasion. We may see +our way more clearly, I would not like to have Miss Boyd disturbed on +uncertainties.”</p> + +<p>“I will take a further look at her,” said the doctor. “I have known +cases like hers to last weeks, even when strength seemed to be almost +gone.”</p> + +<p>He wanted also to see Miss Boyd again. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_165" id="pg_165">165</a></span>He had not noticed her +critically. Mrs. Barrington had spoken of the likeness that had puzzled +her in the beginning, the elusive resemblance to Mrs. Crawford in her +girlhood, as for two years she had been at school. He paused at the +door. She was standing by the window her profile distinctly outlined. It +was classic, from the broad, shapely forehead, the down-dropped eyelids +with their dark fringe, the straight nose with the fine, flexible +nostrils, the rounded chin, the lips that seemed to shut in sadness and +longing, but it was the poise of the head, the arching neck, the +shoulders proud enough for a statue. It needed more real youthfulness +for sixteen, but one could trace resemblances.</p> + +<p>Did she feel the scrutiny? She turned. The front view was more girlish.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” she exclaimed, “mother is sleeping. Is it a bad sign for her to +sleep so much?”</p> + +<p>“It gives her rest and saves the wear on her nerves. You are a watchful +nurse. Where did you learn so much?”</p> + +<p>“I think it comes to you when one has done so much for you,” she +answered quietly.</p> + +<p>“Did you always live in that western country town?” he asked, just to +make talk.</p> + +<p>Lilian colored and hesitated. “When I was <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_166" id="pg_166">166</a></span>a baby mother went out to +Wisconsin to her brother’s, I don’t remember anything of that. Yes, +afterward we lived in Laconia until we came here; but, do you think she +can—mend?” and she approached the bed.</p> + +<p>Dr. Kendricks made a slow movement in the negative. “She has very little +strength. Was she ill before she came here?”</p> + +<p>“Long ago she had a fever, but I think now she has been weakly for a +year or more. I was so anxious to keep in school. Oh, I ought to have +helped more,” and the tears stood in her eyes. “For we were poor.”</p> + +<p>She uttered the fact with a kind of prideful dignity. “She did +everything for me and I had planned when I began to earn money that we +would have a home—”</p> + +<p>“Yes, you have been a good daughter,” and all this while she might have +been living in a delightful manner in her father’s house, loving and +beloved, the comfort of her mother! For she would have been a devoted +daughter in that beautiful home. He hardened his heart against the dying +woman, and walked quietly out of the room.</p> + +<p>“The story must be true,” he admitted to Mrs. Barrington. “But I cannot +tell what step to take first. Would you mind if I saw <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_167" id="pg_167">167</a></span>Mr. Ledwith? He +has been the Crawford lawyer and was the brother’s executor. I am quite +mystified and perhaps not capable of judging.”</p> + +<p>“Why, I think that would be an excellent plan. Yes. He can tell better +what steps to take. But Lilian will not leave the poor woman. I am not +sure she believes the story. She does not count on any change but is +glad to stay here with me and fit herself for earning a living. She has +a very loyal nature.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd roused and ate her dinner, then Lilian read her to sleep +again. She begged not to be sent out to walk and Mrs. Barrington +yielded.</p> + +<p>At five Mr. Ledwith called, full of interest in the strange story and +begged to see Mrs. Boyd, wondering if she would repeat it. Lilian was +summoned.</p> + +<p>“Oh, it would seem cruel to disturb her,” she cried with passionate +tenderness, “and she suffered so in telling it the other evening. It +cannot make much difference to me, since my own mother was killed, and +my father may have been dead before that. I shall always hold her in my +memory as my mother.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_168" id="pg_168">168</a></span>“But the woman who was killed may not have been your mother.”</p> + +<p>Lilian started in surprise.</p> + +<p>“There seems to be a reason why we should be certain in this. Trust me, +I will not torment her needlessly.”</p> + +<p>“My dear child it <i>is</i> best;” said Mrs. Barrington. “Can you not trust +me?”</p> + +<p>Lilian was not convinced but she led the way.</p> + +<p>“Oh, where have you been so long?” cried the invalid. “You said you +would stay—has some one come to take you away? Oh, you will not go. You +promised. It will be only a little while.”</p> + +<p>She fell into a pitiable terror. Lilian soothed. Mr. Ledwith tried to +explain that they might possibly find the young girl’s father who was +now a prosperous man.</p> + +<p>But Mrs. Boyd would not be persuaded. She began to talk incoherently, +and suddenly raising her head and leaning on one elbow said—“send them +away. It is all true as I told you. You are not my own child, but I have +loved you all these years, oh, you <i>will</i> stay with me! I can feel that +it will not be for long. It is there in the drawer—I wrote it out. It +took so long and I was so tired, so <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_169" id="pg_169">169</a></span>tired! Give it to them and send +them away. Oh, Lilian, he is not your father. Promise me you will not go +with him.”</p> + +<p>Lilian opened the drawer. There lay quite a big packet, with the +superscription,—“For my daughter Lilian when I am dead.”</p> + +<p>She simply handed it to Mr. Ledwith. He and Mrs. Barrington left the +room. Mrs. Boyd gave way to a wild fit of weeping and Lilian had much +ado to comfort her, but presently she soothed her to slumber.</p> + +<p>“Who heard this story or confession?” he asked as they entered the +library.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran.”</p> + +<p>“Will they come and listen? They can tell whether the two will agree and +point out any discrepancy.”</p> + +<p>It was written in a shaky hand and evidently at intervals, many words +misspelled and phrases repeated, but with a passionate sincerity and an +overwhelming love for the child whose mother she thought dead, and she +fancied the baby might be thrown on the charity of the world, but she +knew even then it was not her baby but the longing for the child was +pitiful. Mrs. Barrington was reading it and now and then her voice +faltered.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” said Miss Arran, “they are alike except <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_170" id="pg_170">170</a></span>that this seems more +pathetic. There is no doubt of the truth in my mind. Of course <i>she</i> saw +the difference as Miss Lilian grew older and she was afraid she might +have defrauded her of some better fortune. Oh, I pity the poor woman +profoundly. She had a hard life. Mrs. Barrington, this must have seemed +a haven of rest to her. Providence must have guided you.”</p> + +<p>“It is certainly remarkable,” subjoined Mr. Ledwith. “I will see Dr. +Kendricks this evening, but I think we had better wait until after +Christmas so as not to mar the happy reunion of that day. Then we must +see how the Major will take it. It is one of the things he almost never +refers to, and he was afraid of intensifying the loss by having the body +brought here for burial. Truly there are many strange happenings in this +world. I am requested to look up another child that was given out for +adoption, and now has a fortune coming to it after twenty years.”</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_171" id="pg_171">171</a></span> +<a name="UNRAVELING_TANGLED_THREADS_4175" id="UNRAVELING_TANGLED_THREADS_4175"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER X</h2> +<h3>UNRAVELING TANGLED THREADS</h3> +</div> + +<p>Sunday morning was glorious. There had been a light fall of snow and +every tree and shrub was in feathery whiteness, while the sky was as +blue as June. The sun came up through the long levels of yellow light +more golden than ever until every branch and twig shimmered in +iridescent hues.</p> + +<p>Lilian bathed and dressed herself, now and then leaning over her mother +who seemed to breathe regularly, but the face was thin and pallid, and +the soft hair seemed to have whitened in these few days. She bent over +and kissed the cool forehead.</p> + +<p>Miss Arran looked in.</p> + +<p>“Oh, is it all right? I left you at two; there really was no need of +watches as I was just across the hall, but I think you confine yourself +too closely. Now you must go down and take a walk on the porch. The +morning air has a positive balminess in it. It really should be +Christmas morning with the angels singing for very joy.”</p> + +<p>Lilian looked undecided. Yet the very thought of sunshine and fresh air +was reviving.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_172" id="pg_172">172</a></span>“I will call you the moment she wakes,” said Miss Arran, and the girl +went.</p> + +<p>Oh, how delightful it was! She drew in long breaths and gave a great, +fervent thanksgiving. Yes, it was good to live, to be able to work, to +have a purpose in life and see the way to attain it.</p> + +<p>She went in presently. Her mother had just wakened. She bathed her face +and hands with fragrant water, brushed her hair and put on a pretty +dressing sacque of her own. Then she had some breakfast which she +appeared to enjoy.</p> + +<p>“I feel so drowsy,” she said. “I am so comfortable and at ease.”</p> + +<p>That was much to be thankful for.</p> + +<p>“Lilian will you do me a favor this morning,” began Mrs. Barrington in +her most persuasive voice. “I want you to go to church with me. The +Crawford family will be there to give thanks. And we have learned that +your mother was in the same fearful accident and her escape was a +marvel. All these years Mrs. Crawford has been an invalid but she has +borne her suffering with exemplary patience. Dr. Kendricks went out at +once but there was scarcely any hope of her living then. Your mother +spoke of a beautiful woman they <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_173" id="pg_173">173</a></span>thought dying or dead—do you +remember?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes. A woman with such lovely golden hair. Miss Zaidee’s is +exquisite, too. Yes, I will go. I should like to see her. How strange it +all is! And my own mother, it seems, was among the killed.”</p> + +<p>“It was terrible. Of course your mother going away so soon did not hear +all of it. Yes, I want you to go with me.”</p> + +<p>Dr. Kendricks made his visit and saw there was little change. Several of +the girls were going and they started early. Mrs. Barrington kept two +pews on one side of the church, which was all in Christmas attire with +wreaths of holly here and there, and clusters of golden flowers dried in +their natural colors. The altar was fragrant with real blossoms and to +Lilian there came a deeper emotion than reverence; something she had +never experienced before. She who had no joy of her very own must +rejoice in that of others and search out the blessings of the spirit, +find a way into the other kingdom, where the things one hungers and +longs for are laid up against the time one is fitted for the pure and +high enjoyment of them. The strength of the steadfast waiting, the lives +that touched with near or remote sympathy and held God’s promise for +today, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_174" id="pg_174">174</a></span>for all time. There was something kept for those who wearied +not, that was bestowed when the soul had come to understand the true +source of beneficent living.</p> + +<p>She had been listening to the beautiful music and now there was a sudden +hush while several of the congregation entered. There were Major and +Mrs. Crawford, and certainly curious eyes might be pardoned as she +walked up the aisle with a graceful step. Oh, yes, she <i>was</i> a lovely +woman, as in sweet humility and reverence she bowed her head.</p> + +<p>Then followed Zay and the fine looking midshipman who showed his pride +in every line. What it must be to have a brother like that! Yet there +was no envy in Lilian’s soul, since all these joys and privileges were +far beyond her. But she had a quick, responsive nature when anything +really touched her, and she joyed sincerely in this other’s joy.</p> + +<p>The service was gracious and comforting even to her. Hundreds of years +ago ignorant shepherds sat watching their flocks all the long starlight +night, and then the song of the angels, the great promise, the new era, +the blessedness for the whole world that each might take his share.</p> + +<p>And the reverent prayer of this, Thy servant, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_175" id="pg_175">175</a></span>delivered from her bodily +illness who desired to return thanks in the presence of all Thy people +touched her heart to tears, and she joined in it fervently.</p> + +<p>The class did not stay for the whole service. Lilian hurried home, glad +to escape the chatter of the curious. Her mother had just roused.</p> + +<p>“It was such a sweet, comforting service. I wish you could have heard +it, and—” would she understand about Mrs. Crawford—her “beautiful +woman?”</p> + +<p>“I’m afraid when you leave me. Don’t go away again,” and the thin lips +quivered.</p> + +<p>“But you have slept all the time, and you <i>do</i> feel better.”</p> + +<p>“If I could move about—” fretfully.</p> + +<p>“Can I help?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, no. I want to do it myself, but my limbs won’t stir. Is it spring, +that the sun shines so?”</p> + +<p>“No, dear. Tomorrow will be Christmas.”</p> + +<p>“Do you remember Sally? She had a party you know and you wouldn’t go—”</p> + +<p>“But I was only a little girl, a school girl, and they were young +ladies.”</p> + +<p>“Lilian do you mean never to have a lover? It is the happiest time for a +girl. He takes you <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_176" id="pg_176">176</a></span>out and buys you pretty little things. He gave me +that work box on Christmas, and a ring afterward. I don’t see how God +could have let him get killed—we were so happy. He wasn’t your father. +Both his babies died. Do you suppose he found them in heaven?”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd began to cry. Her mind wandered considerably now. Lilian tried +to read to her but she broke in with irrelevant snatches that had been +pleasures to her long ago until she dropped off to sleep again.</p> + +<p>There was a rather joyous time in the morning. Mrs. Barrington +remembered her household and the girls who had been compelled to stay.</p> + +<p>Lilian gave thanks for two beautiful volumes of poetry. Miss Arran +remembered her with a box of very nice stationery, Mrs. Dane with some +handkerchiefs, Mrs. Barrington went to the dinner at Crawford House, but +the girls complained of the dullness. Lilian was so used to being +sufficient for herself, so fond of reading that the day passed even if +it had no Christmas joys.</p> + +<p>It was very happy at Crawford House. Vincent had arrived in the morning +and added to their joy. Zay was bright and animated <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_177" id="pg_177">177</a></span>and the three +planned many delights for the future.</p> + +<p>“There ought to be some young people,” said the mother, “but we couldn’t +have both and yours will come later on. I wanted these dear old friends +who have been such a comfort in my hard and trying years and then I +shall begin over with you and be young again.”</p> + +<p>“And I was proud enough when I found I was put on the list for a three +years’ cruise,” declared Willard, “and now the thought quite unmans me. +But we may stop at some place where you can all take a flying trip.”</p> + +<p>“It can’t be next summer,” said Vincent. “I have engaged them for my +grand occasion. Next June I shall be a full fledged soldier and there +will be the ball in which Zay will shine a star of the first magnitude.”</p> + +<p>“And set the day after,” laughed the girl. “Oh, Phil Rosewald wants to +come and half a dozen others, but I suppose you can’t invite so many +sisters and cousins.”</p> + +<p>Vincent drew his face in an amusing half frown. “Is Phil as funny as +ever? Doesn’t she sometimes jump over the traces? And how about the +lovers? I think she had them ever since she stepped out of the cradle.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_178" id="pg_178">178</a></span>“In the multitude there is safety,” said their father.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington could not keep her thoughts from the lonely girl +watching beside the dying woman. Oh, how would she get to her true place +in the bright happy group. For years she had been as dead to them. Would +Zay, who had garnered all the love and tenderness in her own girlish +heart, be willing to share it?</p> + +<p>Dr. Kendricks drew her a little aside. “I can’t stand it!” he exclaimed, +“I couldn’t break in upon this blessed day, but the thought of Miss Boyd +has haunted me every moment. I must tell the Major tomorrow morning. Oh, +how do you suppose he will take it? Mrs. Boyd is no longer reliable, her +mind fails hourly. But out of the mouth of two or three witnesses +everything shall be established. Hasn’t Miss Boyd any curiosity?”</p> + +<p>“Very little. She thinks her mother is dead and has built no hopes about +a father and she relies upon my word. She has looked forward to caring +for herself so long that I hardly see how she will give it up. At first +she will not be glad. If the Major should doubt the story—”</p> + +<p>“The likeness grows upon one. I saw it so plainly this morning. She is +more like her <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_179" id="pg_179">179</a></span>mother than Zay and will make a fine looking woman. And I +have seen it in Mrs. Crawford a dozen times today. I no longer doubt and +I feel like an arch conspirator.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford was enjoying herself keenly, though the nurse insisted she +must take to the sofa and let others do the talking. The children +gathered about her, full of eager love. Was there in the whole wide +world a happier mother? And yet—far away another darling lay in a +lonesome grave. She had ceased to speak of it and her husband thought +she had outlived the sorrow. In a certain way she had.</p> + +<p>Then the guests prepared to depart. At nine Vincent was to take his +train.</p> + +<p>“But you and father can run up now and then. They will be glad to see +him. They are always proud of their old graduates, especially those who +have distinguished themselves. But, I’m glad you didn’t have to make a +present of your leg to the country.”</p> + +<p>“It did come pretty near it. Ah, we have a great many mercies to be +thankful for. It seems as if there was nothing more to ask except that +you boys should keep in the right way.”</p> + +<p>“As we shall try to,” Willard returned and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_180" id="pg_180">180</a></span>Vincent’s eyes gave a +similar promise as he kissed his mother good-by.</p> + +<p>“Put on your wraps and come along with us Zay,” said Willard. “You must +need an airing by this time.”</p> + +<p>Zay was nothing loth. They talked of next summer, the elder brother +regretting that he would be in Japan in all probability. Then they said +a tender good-by, and on the homeward way Willard proposed a call on the +Norton’s where there were two charming girls and a few other guests who +were having a little dance.</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes,” assented the young midshipman. “For you see, girls will be +quite out of my line the next three years. I shall sigh for their charms +and return a critical and opinionated bachelor, judging all girls by the +novels I have read in my solitude.”</p> + +<p>“I think I’ll make you out a list,” said Eva Norton, laughingly.</p> + +<p>“Do, and send it in a letter with your approval and disapproval of the +characters so I shall know what to copy and what to avoid.</p> + +<p>“And now you must have one dance.”</p> + +<p>Zay thought it rather late, but her brother overruled and they had a +merry time, but it was midnight before they returned.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_181" id="pg_181">181</a></span>Major Crawford and his wife often had their breakfast in the dainty +sitting room up stairs. Zay just glanced in to bid them good-morning as +Willard was impatiently calling her down. She had not slept very well +and had a headache, and she would not go out for a walk with him. She +heard her father reading the paper aloud, so she went to her room and +dropped on the bed again. Her throat began to feel sore and swollen. +When she heard the doctor’s voice in the hall she leaned over the +banister and said: “Dr. Kendricks will you come up here a minute or +two?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, yes, what now? Did you feast too high yesterday?”</p> + +<p>“I don’t know. I feel sick all over. First I’m all of a shiver and then +so hot and my head aches.”</p> + +<p>“Well, we must inquire into it. Yes, you are flushed and getting +excited. I think it is a feverish cold and some indigestion. We’ll soon +fix that all right. Luckily I brought my medicine chest along,” and he +laughed.</p> + +<p>“Doctor, you don’t think—are there any more cases of scarlet fever?” +and her voice was tremulous.</p> + +<p>“Scarlet fever! Don’t get any such nonsense in your curly pate. No, +there’s not <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_182" id="pg_182">182</a></span>another case and the little girl is recovering rapidly. Why +you’ve not been even exposed to it and yours is just a cold. Now, +alternate with these and I’ll be in again this afternoon. But, I’d stay +in bed and rest.”</p> + +<p>She slipped into a soft white wrapper, and Katy came in to straighten up +her room.</p> + +<p>“You were out late last night, Miss Zay and you’ve caught a cold.”</p> + +<p>“But, I so rarely have a cold.”</p> + +<p>“It sounds in your voice. Keep wrapped up good and warm. There’s nothing +like heat to drive out those pernickety colds and I wish you’d drink +some hot water.”</p> + +<p>“I’ll see by and by.”</p> + +<p>She turned her hot throbbing temple over on the pillow. If only she +could shut out the sight and the smell of the clairvoyant’s room, and +that boy grasping for breath. It must have been something awful for them +both to die almost together and be shut up at once in their coffins; and +then a horror seized her. She had always been so well and joyous. Oh, +what if she should die? It would kill her mother. Girls were more to +their mothers; business called so many of the boys away.</p> + +<p>She began to cry. The doctor and her father went down stairs. She +thought her <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_183" id="pg_183">183</a></span>mother would come in and tried to calm the sort of +hysterical mood. What <i>were</i> they talking about so long? Was she worse +than the doctor had admitted? She heard her father’s voice rise as if in +a passion which his visitor seemed trying to subdue. Oh, what <i>had</i> +happened?</p> + +<p>Her mother entered the room very pale and with frightened eyes.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Zay,” she cried, dropping on the side of the bed, “have you any +idea what your father and Doctor Kendricks are quarreling about? Your +father is not easily excited—he used to be very quick in temper but he +has grown so gentle and considerate. But it is something that rouses him +to white heat. We have always been such dear friends since that time of +the great sorrow, and it is not about the boys, I know. Oh, Zay, what is +the matter? You look ill—you must have a fever, your eyes show it.”</p> + +<p>“The doctor called it a feverish cold. He is coming again this +afternoon.” She was half listening to the tumult in the library, and she +shook as if in an ague.</p> + +<p>“Oh, there they go again. Why—they are going out,” and she went to the +hall to call to her husband but the door was flung to as if <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_184" id="pg_184">184</a></span>in a +passion. Then someone entered and ran lightly upstairs.</p> + +<p>“Mother, Zay, what is the row about? Father looks as if he—but he never +<i>does</i> drink and they are going to Mrs. Barrington’s.”</p> + +<p>Zay buried her face in her hands and began to sob.</p> + +<p>“Oh, mother, what is it? Has Vin met with some accident? And we were so +happy yesterday! Do you remember the old story of the gods being jealous +of the happiness of mortals? There was nothing to wish for.”</p> + +<p>“I do not know what it is, but it has excited your father desperately +and I am afraid Zay is going to be ill.”</p> + +<p>“My dear Zay—I should not have kept you out so late last night. We +called at the Norton’s and had a little dance. Don’t you need the +doctor—”</p> + +<p>“He was in. He is coming this afternoon. Oh, my head aches—”</p> + +<p>“And you look fit to drop, mother. Let me call the nurse.”</p> + +<p>Freida gently impelled Mrs. Crawford to her own room and laid her on the +lounge, making passes over her brow and chafing her cold hands.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_185" id="pg_185">185</a></span>“Now, lie still and get tranquil, and I will see to the young lady.”</p> + +<p>“I would like to put you in a hot bath with plenty of salt, and then +give you a good rub. Why, you have gone all to pieces, as you Americans +say.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee made no demur. Willard went and read aloud to his mother. The +girl was bathed and rubbed and rolled in a blanket. She felt real +drowsy, but the thought haunted her—what if Louie Howe had been taken +ill with scarlet fever and they had sent word to Mrs. Barrington? Then +Louie must have confessed and the three would be implicated. No wonder +her father was angry!</p> + +<p>She tossed around for awhile but, in spite, of her mental excitement she +fell asleep. The luncheon hour passed; no one wanted to eat. Then Major +Crawford let himself in with his latchkey. He was very pale now.</p> + +<p>“Oh, is there bad news?” asked Willard.</p> + +<p>“It depends on—how your mother takes it. Such a strange story—I can +hardly credit it myself. Do not let us be interrupted unless I have to +summon someone,” and he passed on his way upstairs.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_186" id="pg_186">186</a></span> +<a name="STANDING_UP_TO_THE_MARK_4541" id="STANDING_UP_TO_THE_MARK_4541"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XI</h2> +<h3>STANDING UP TO THE MARK</h3> +</div> + +<p>Lilian Boyd bathed her mother’s face and hands as usual and prepared her +breakfast. Her eyes were brighter, her voice stronger, but the girl +noticed that her face seemed a little swollen and the lines about her +mouth had lost their flexibility.</p> + +<p>“You are surely better. You have more appetite,” yet the tone was not +hopeful.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear, it is nearer the end, and it is best. You will do better +without me, and what if you should find someone—a father to be proud of +you? Such things have happened, and I may have kept you out of something +that was your right. Oh, will God forgive me?”</p> + +<p>Lilian caught the thin hand and pressed it to her lips.</p> + +<p>“Mother, you must not worry about this. Suppose my own mother was a +widow like you going to a new home to earn her living. Why, I might have +been put in some Children’s Asylum. And I have had many comforts and a +love willing to make sacrifices. I have been a dreamy girl building air +castles for the future, but I would have worked hard to <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_187" id="pg_187">187</a></span>make them real. +I see now how much is needed and I am not afraid——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, if I could think you had lost nothing through my selfish love——”</p> + +<p>“But it was your friend who sent us here. And you are not sorry we +came?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, my child, it was truly God’s providence. Mrs. Barrington has been +so good. She will help you to attain your best aims. Since we have been +here I have realized the difference between us that I only felt vaguely +before. You belong to these people. You have their ways and it is not +all education, either. This is why I feel your people could not have +been in the common walks of life.”</p> + +<p>She paused, exhausted.</p> + +<p>“Now, you must not talk any more but try to sleep. Shall I read to you?”</p> + +<p>“No, not now. Oh, Lilian, you will not tire of me? You will not leave +me? It cannot be long——”</p> + +<p>“No, no, and this will be my home. Let that comfort you.”</p> + +<p>Lilian took up some embroidery. Mrs. Barrington had merely looked in to +inquire. How still the house seemed, and she was in a highly nervous +mood. What if Major Crawford should not believe the story? Well, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_188" id="pg_188">188</a></span>Lilian +Boyd should never know how near she had come to being a heroine of +romance, and she should achieve some of her desires.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd drowsed. Yes, it was really the providence of God that she +should be removed. She would always have the things she most desired, +which she, Mrs. Boyd could not have given her in the pretty home Lilian +had been planning. She had been happy with her lover, then her husband. +But, Lilian would shrink from the kiss of the grimy man fresh from his +hard work, and after his brief ablutions, sitting down to supper in his +shirt sleeves and then lighting his pipe and pushing his baby up and +down the front walk, jesting and laughing with the neighbors. There were +blocks of them, most of them happy women, too, except when the babies +came too fast or died out of their arms. And a few games of cards in the +evening, a play now and then merry enough to keep one laughing. No, it +would never have done for Lilian.</p> + +<p>And she would feel out of place in the life to which the girl aspired. +She would never get quite at ease with these refined friends whose talk +was of books and music and the part great men and women were playing in +the world.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_189" id="pg_189">189</a></span>How many times does one have a foreshadowing of the real things that +affect life! One may be heavy hearted for days groping about fearsomely +and suddenly the cloud lifts without any misfortune. Then swift in the +happiest hour comes the stroke that crushes one. Lilian looked straight +ahead in her life. She would serve her time here and repay Mrs. +Barrington for her generous kindness.</p> + +<p>In a lovely old town like Mount Morris, the lines of caste get +unconsciously drawn. Where people have lived hundreds of years and can +trace back to some titled ancestor perhaps, where they have never known +the hard grind of poverty, but have worked on the higher lines. There +had been several noted clergymen, two bishops, scholars, senators and +even an ambassador abroad. There was no especial pride in this, it was +simply what was to be expected of sons growing up in this refined, +upright and moral atmosphere. But they sometimes passed rather proudly +by those of the next lower round who bent their energies to money +making.</p> + +<p>Lilian had soon come to understand that and her personal pride kept her +aloof from any chance of snubs. But she would want <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_190" id="pg_190">190</a></span>a wider world +presently that was not bounded by a grandfather or a fortune that had +descended through generations.</p> + +<p>There were moments when Mrs. Boyd’s confession seemed a feverish dream. +She did not dare build anything on it, because she had indulged in some +romantic dreams and longings, because there had been wounded vanity +almost to a sense of shame, she held herself to a strict account. No +matter what she might gain here, she would always be considered Mrs. +Boyd’s daughter. She had not expected to be received with the young +ladies of the school, and had taken no notice of the little rudenesses +that might have had a better excuse if she had been trying to crowd in. +So all the refinements of birth and education did not always conduce to +the higher generosity of heart.</p> + +<p>Miss Arran came gently in the room with an anxious glance toward the +bed.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington wishes to see you in the library, Miss Boyd. I will +stay here with your mother.”</p> + +<p>Lilian laid down her work as she rose and said: “Mother is asleep now.”</p> + +<p>Then she went slowly down the wide stairway, her eyes lingering on some +of the panels <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_191" id="pg_191">191</a></span>that had been painted in by a true artist.</p> + +<p>“My dear child,” the lady said in a voice that seemed full of emotion, +“you must have felt from the beginning that I had taken an unusual +interest in you. You suggested some person that I could not quite place, +but came to know afterward that it was one of my early scholars, a most +charming girl. She married happily and had two sons, but they both +longed for a daughter. Providence listened to their prayers and sent +them a double portion, two lovely girls. My friend’s husband was a +soldier stationed on the frontier and in an Indian raid was quite +severely wounded. It was not deemed best to risk moving him and she +resolved to go out to him. One of the babies, the first born was larger +and stronger than the other, and she determined to take this one with a +most excellent nurse she had. You heard the story Mrs. Boyd told. My +friend was in the same frightful accident—the nurse was killed +outright, but the baby by some miracle had not so much as a scratch. The +only other baby was crushed beyond recognition.”</p> + +<p>Lilian sprang up, then the room seemed to swim round. She caught at the +chair back to steady herself and gave a great gasp.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_192" id="pg_192">192</a></span>“Oh, and my mother, Mrs. Boyd, took the child, but they all thought the +nurse the real mother. And, oh—she could not bear to give up the baby. +Oh, you must forgive her.”</p> + +<p>“In the confusion I can see that it was very easily done. Dr. Kendricks +went out at once. He found the mother gravely injured and the word was +that the baby was dead. It was beyond recognition. Mrs. Boyd, who had +only been stunned, had gone on her way. You have heard her side of the +story, knowing the other side when Miss Arran detailed it, we sent for +Dr. Kendricks and pieced it all together. You have been so occupied with +your supposed mother, and I must say you have been a devoted daughter, +that you have hardly noted our excitement and interest. The confession +established the facts beyond a doubt in our minds, but we were not sure +how the father would take it. And the place has altered immeasurably; +there have been so many accidents since, that that has passed into +oblivion. But no one can dispute the proof. Your mother was a noticeably +handsome girl; but there is a curious resemblance, and it grows upon +one.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_193" id="pg_193">193</a></span>“And I am scarcely handsome at all,” the girl said, slowly.</p> + +<p>“Have you no curiosity to know whom you belong to?” studying Lilian +intently.</p> + +<p>“Oh, I dare not ask, I hardly dare believe! It is so mysterious. She, +yes, I will call her mother, though there might be a father somewhere. +And was that beautiful woman they believed dying——”</p> + +<p>Lilian clasped her hands over her eyes. Like a flash it seemed to pass +before her. Zay Crawford’s double, some of the girls had called her.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” she cried, “can I endure it? What if they do not want me?”</p> + +<p>“If they had doubted the story it would have been kept from you. Can you +guess—”</p> + +<p>Lilian flung herself in Mrs. Barrington’s arms, with a long, dry sob.</p> + +<p>“Oh, do not give me up,” she cried imploringly. “Let me stay with you. I +will serve you faithfully for I love you, and these people are +strangers——”</p> + +<p>“Think, what it must be after her years of sorrow to clasp her child in +her arms; to know that it had been well cared for, tenderly loved. Oh, +she is your own mother and you will come to love her dearly. This +morning <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_194" id="pg_194">194</a></span>Dr. Kendricks was to tell Major Crawford the story. Fifteen +minutes ago word came that they would be here. Lilian, your father feels +hard toward Mrs. Boyd. You know Dr. Kendricks would have recognized you +if she had not taken you away, and it is only natural that he should +feel indignant.”</p> + +<p>“Must I see him before she—she cannot last long. Oh, she must not hear +this, and I will not leave her until the very last.”</p> + +<p>Then the child suggested her father.</p> + +<p>“There they come,” exclaimed Mrs. Barrington.</p> + +<p>The two men entered the drawing room. Lilian clung to Mrs. Barrington, +but that lady impelled her forward.</p> + +<p>“This is your daughter, Major Crawford,” she said, “and this, my dear, +is your own father.”</p> + +<p>Lilian stood like a statue. It was as if she was turning to stone. Oh, +he could not deny her. The clear cut features, the golden bronze hair, +the proud figure that seemed to add dignity to the whole. So, her mother +had stood, in girlhood.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my child! my child! have you no word of gladness for me after these +long years! The baby I never saw—my Marguerite.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_195" id="pg_195">195</a></span>Was her tongue frozen and her lips stiff? Oh, what should she say? How +could she welcome this stranger?</p> + +<p>“And that cruel woman has stolen your love from us, as she stole your +beautiful body. Oh, where is she? Let me see her!”</p> + +<p>“You were to keep calm, Major,” exclaimed the doctor. “We have gone over +all this, and the poor woman is dying. To upbraid her now would be +nothing short of murder.”</p> + +<p>The Major glanced wildly around. “Why think of <i>our</i> loss and sorrow. +She <i>knew</i> the child was not hers. And she ran off like a thief in the +night. Oh, I can’t forgive her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you must,” cried the girl with the first gleam of emotion she had +shown. “For she mistook the nurse for the mother. Everything must have +been in confusion. She thought of me as a motherless baby, perhaps to be +cast on charity——”</p> + +<p>“But all these years! And poverty, when a lovely home awaited you; +brothers and a sweet sister and such a mother! Oh, she ought to know and +suffer for the crime.”</p> + +<p>“She was almost crazy with her own grief. And she was good and tender +and devoted to me. She shall not suffer for it in her dying moments.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_196" id="pg_196">196</a></span>She stood there proudly, her face a-light with a sort of heroic +devotion. So her mother would have taken up any wrong. Was he unduly +bitter?</p> + +<p>“Oh, my darling, have you no love for me? No want for your own sweet +mother—”</p> + +<p>Something in his pleading tone touched her and his face betrayed strong +agitation. His arms seemed to hang listlessly by his side. She took a +few steps toward him and then they suddenly clasped her in a vehement +embrace.</p> + +<p>The doctor glanced at Mrs. Barrington and they both left the room.</p> + +<p>“It has been a hard fight,” he said. “He was so enraged at first that I +was afraid he would come and have it out with the dying woman. The fact +that she knew the child was not hers and yet took it away seemed to stir +all the blood in his body. Poor thing—one has to feel sorry for her; +but he raged over the privations he thought his child had endured, and +her being here in an equivocal position. The Crawfords were always very +proud. And one could not expect a girl just in the dawn of womanhood to +fly to a stranger’s arms.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_197" id="pg_197">197</a></span>“Yet it took her so by surprise, and she has a proud, reticent nature.”</p> + +<p>“Let us go and see Mrs. Boyd.”</p> + +<p>Major Crawford felt the girl’s heart beating against his own. He raised +the face and kissed it, amid tears, deeply touched.</p> + +<p>“You must forgive me. You do not know what it is to have some one stand +between you and your child all these years. I used to dream how it would +have been with twin girls running about, climbing one’s knees, doing a +hundred sweet and tender things. Zay has been so lovely, so loving; but +all these years we never forgot you. We gave the most fervent thanks for +your mother’s recovery, and when you are safe in her arms—oh, it seems +almost as if it was too much joy.”</p> + +<p>“It is so strange,” and her voice was tremulous. “For I never could have +dreamed of anything like this. I did not dream, for it seemed as if a +man who had lost wife and child would want to begin over again, and in a +good many ways I tried to believe I had been too visionary—longing for +things quite beyond my reach. So I have been praying that God would send +what was best for me and trying to make myself content. Oh, are you +quite sure there is no mistake?” <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_198" id="pg_198">198</a></span>and there was a pitifully beseeching +sound in her voice.</p> + +<p>“If we can believe that thief of a woman. Oh, to think she should carry +away our baby and leave us her little dead child,” and the only half +conquered passion flamed up in his face again.</p> + +<p>“But, you see, if I had been the nurse’s child as she thought, the poor +nurse who was dead, it would be a brave and tender act——”</p> + +<p>“I have no pity for her. You must come away. Oh, Marguerite, there is +your own sweet mother, who when she hears will want to clasp you to her +heart at once. And Zaidee, your twin sister——”</p> + +<p>She shrank and stiffened a little. Zaidee Crawford would not be so glad +to welcome her. She felt it in her inmost heart. For she had been the +pet and darling of the household all these years. All the girls had paid +her a curious sort of homage. She had been invested with a halo of +romance, and generous as she seemed with her equals, she had established +a rigorous distance between them. Lilian fancied she was annoyed by the +suggestion of a resemblance between them.</p> + +<p>Her father was momentarily piqued by <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_199" id="pg_199">199</a></span>the unyielding lines of her figure +and the hesitancy.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my child you must take in the strength, the absolute reality of our +claim, unless you cannot believe this woman—”</p> + +<p>“I would stake my very life on her truth, and I can recall so many +things that seemed strange to me then, especially these last two years. +She so dreaded leaving me alone in the world, and I am not willing to +embitter her last moments. You see she never thought of my parents being +in a much higher walk in life, and the knowledge that she had kept me +out of so much would be a cruel stab. No, let me wait until it is all +over, and you have accepted the strange story truly. There are others +beside yourself——”</p> + +<p>Her eyes were full of tears as she raised them. It <i>was</i> noble to take +this view, though he really grudged it.</p> + +<p>“You mean then to stay here until—”</p> + +<p>“I have promised sacredly, solemnly. There may be some things to +certify. Mrs. Barrington spoke of one, that the confession, ought to be +signed before witnesses.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, though we should never doubt. And if there was any question there +might be a legal adoption;” then he paused. His wife <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_200" id="pg_200">200</a></span>had not heard the +story yet. Yes, his anger had hurried him along with scarcely a thought +of all that needed to be done. He had dreamed of the joy of bringing the +mother and daughter together. Yes, she must be prepared.</p> + +<p>“Perhaps you are right,” he admitted, reluctantly. “Yet—oh, how can I +leave you. It seems as if the joy would vanish.”</p> + +<p>“I do not think I shall vanish,” and she half smiled through her tears.</p> + +<p>The doctor came downstairs with a grave face.</p> + +<p>“There has been a sudden change. The paralysis has crept upward. She is +moaning for you. Go to her.”</p> + +<p>Lilian flashed out of the room.</p> + +<p>“Are you convinced?” asked the doctor.</p> + +<p>“Oh, positively. And what a noble girl! I hate to have her love that +woman so, and yet it shows a true and generous nature. Why, I think some +girls would have gone wild over the prospect.”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington is enthusiastic about her and she has had a wide +experience with girls. But my dear Major, there is a good deal to be +done. Your wife must hear the story, and we must consider <i>her</i> health, +her nervous system must not have too severe a shock. And this <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_201" id="pg_201">201</a></span>Mrs. Boyd +must attest her confession in some way. She can hardly speak +intelligibly. With your permission, I’ll hunt up Ledwith. It’s best to +have everything secure.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, yes. And, doctor, I want to apologize for my anger and unreason +this morning. Why, we are half brutes after all. I believe I could have +almost murdered that woman for stealing my darling baby and sneaking off +without a word of inquiry. I do not yet see how Marguerite can forgive +her for keeping her out off her birthright all these years; for dragging +her through poverty and all kinds of menial labor; and here she was the +caretaker’s daughter! Think of it—my child, Zay’s sister! Even now when +the child pleads for her so earnestly I cannot really forgive her. Will +you pardon me for my outbreak? My child is tenderer and more generous +than I.”</p> + +<p>“The poor woman has come to the last stages. It is a matter of only a +few days. It would be cruel to part them now.”</p> + +<p>“You are all against me,” with a sad smile.</p> + +<p>“You must go home and explain this matter to Mrs. Crawford, and to your +sister. Then send the confession to Ledwith. I will see him. And, oh, I +promised to drop in and see Zay. She has some nervous crochet in her +head.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_202" id="pg_202">202</a></span>“Is she really ill?” the father asked in alarm.</p> + +<p>“She has some cold and a little fever. Don’t excite her.”</p> + +<p>They walked away together. The doctor found Zay’s fever much higher and +she was in a state of great excitement.</p> + +<p>“Oh, what has happened,” she cried. “What was papa so angry about? And +you took him away——”</p> + +<p>“A matter of business that he could not look at reasonably at first. And +it may be a delightful surprise for you, so you must do your utmost to +get well. Men have many bothers, my dear.”</p> + +<p>“It was not about Vincent?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear, no. There was a telegram from him. He reached West Point all +right, and all is going well. Now, I shall give you a composing draught +and order you to sleep all the afternoon.”</p> + +<p>“And the fever?” tremulously.</p> + +<p>“That’s simply cold and nervousness. You will be about well tomorrow,” +and he laughed.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington was—oh, I suppose the girls who stayed had a dull +time.”</p> + +<p>“I didn’t hear any complaints. I guess they are all right. Don’t you +worry about them or anybody.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_203" id="pg_203">203</a></span>If she could hear that Louie Howe was well; maybe Phil would write +tomorrow. Oh, she couldn’t be seriously ill or the doctor wouldn’t be so +indifferent about it. If she only could go to sleep and forget about the +Clairvoyant’s awful den!</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_204" id="pg_204">204</a></span> +<a name="OH_WILL_I_BE_WELCOME_4960" id="OH_WILL_I_BE_WELCOME_4960"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2> +<h3>OH, WILL I BE WELCOME?</h3> +</div> + +<p>There was a late luncheon and then the Major returned to his wife’s +sitting room where Aunt Kate was keeping her company with some exquisite +needlework for her darling, Zay, who had insisted upon being left alone.</p> + +<p>“I have a curious story to read to you that concerns us all. I am glad +to have you here, Kate, as a sort of ballast. It was what excited me so +this morning and I was very unreasonable. The doctor threatened to put +me in a straight jacket.”</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate laughed. Mrs. Crawford studied her husband intently.</p> + +<p>“Oh, go on with your work. I shall feel more composed.” He turned his +chair a little, ostensibly for the light, but so that his wife might not +watch his face.</p> + +<p>He began with Mrs. Boyd’s list of misfortunes after her few years of +happiness and her resolve to go out to her brother’s. At times he +stumbled over the poor penmanship and halted.</p> + +<p>“Why, it must have been the train I was on,” interrupted Mrs. Crawford. +“I remember <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_205" id="pg_205">205</a></span>there was a woman with a delicate looking child. I believe +ours were the only two babies. Oh, if I had not taken my little darling! +But she was so well and strong, such a fine happy baby, and nurse Jane +was so good.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd had hurried briefly over the terrible collision.</p> + +<p>“Everett,” interrupted his sister with an indignant emphasis, “why +recall that awful happening. It can do us no good now.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford leaned her head on her hand and balanced her elbow on the +broad arm of the chair.</p> + +<p>The Major’s voice shook slightly. Mrs. Boyd had been quite graphic about +her calling for the baby, her care of it from midnight to the next +morning and settling her mind to what the woman had said; her resolve to +keep the child when she heard the other mother had been killed. She +sprang up suddenly.</p> + +<p>“Oh, it was nurse Jane who was killed. And she took my baby, my darling. +Oh, who was she? Can we ever find her?”</p> + +<p>Then she fainted and her husband caught her in his arms.</p> + +<p>“Oh, you have killed her!” cried Miss Crawford. “How could you recount +that awful time of suffering, and that the woman <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_206" id="pg_206">206</a></span>should steal the baby! +Oh, that was just it, there’s no use mincing matters!”</p> + +<p>It was some minutes before Mrs. Crawford regained consciousness, then +she gazed imploringly in her husband’s face.</p> + +<p>“Oh, tell me—where is my darling? Is she really alive. Can we find +her?”</p> + +<p>“She has been found. She is well and in good hands. Oh, my dear wife, I +felt vengeful at first, but I have come to pity the poor thing. +Marguerite pleaded for her. And we must be thankful that she had the +courage to confess the matter.”</p> + +<p>“Then—you have seen her?”</p> + +<p>The voice was shaken with emotion.</p> + +<p>“She is at Mrs. Barrington’s.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, can’t we go to her? My dear baby, my darling Marguerite! Why, it is +almost as if she had been sent from heaven.”</p> + +<p>“My dear—” her husband caught her in his arms or she would have fallen +in her eagerness. “Oh, it will all come right, but you must be patient +and get stronger. There are reasons why she cannot come, or you cannot +go, and you must hear the rest of the story.”</p> + +<p>“Everett,” began his sister, “how do you <i>know</i> but that this is a +scheme to extort money. How can you be sure it is your child? <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_207" id="pg_207">207</a></span>There are +so many swindlers or blackmailers in the world.”</p> + +<p>He was arranging his wife on the couch, thankful she had borne the +tidings so well. Then he seated himself beside her, bending over to kiss +the pallid lips.</p> + +<p>“There can scarcely be any chance for fraud. No one would profit by it, +and now, shall I go on with the story?”</p> + +<p>They both acquiesced.</p> + +<p>There was something so pathetic in the fostermother’s love for the child +and her fear of its being cast on the world as no one seemed to know +anything about the supposed mother. Then her return to her early home; +her struggles against misfortune, poverty and ill health, and after a +little, her dismay at finding the child so different from what she had +been herself, so ambitious, so longing for refinement and showing such a +distaste for common ways. The failure of her own health, the +impossibility of keeping the girl at school any longer when Mrs. +Barrington’s proffer had seemed a perfect godsend. But it was too late +to recover the health that had been so shattered by poverty and hard +work.</p> + +<p>“Well, if it <i>is</i> true she was a courageous woman,” declared Miss +Crawford. “One <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_208" id="pg_208">208</a></span>can’t forgive her for taking the child without making a +single inquiry.”</p> + +<p>“But everything was in such confusion, and you will remember that +Marguerite lay unconscious for a long while, just hovering between life +and death. And at that time, in the western countries there were not so +many safeguards. When Dr. Kendricks reached the place, Jane and the baby +had been temporarily buried. Yes, it was easy for the thing to happen +when Mrs. Boyd wanted the baby so much. I can hardly forgive her, but we +must admit that the confession showed an earnest desire to repair the +wrong.”</p> + +<p>“Where is she?”</p> + +<p>“At Mrs. Barrington’s. Dr. Kendricks thinks she can last but a few days +longer and the child is resolved to stay until the end. I tried to shake +her determination but found it useless.”</p> + +<p>“I admire her for it,” said Mrs. Crawford.</p> + +<p>“I should doubt her fervent love if it could be transferred so easily +from poverty to wealth. Yes, I am proud of my dear daughter whom I have +not seen in fifteen years. But the whole story is marvellous.”</p> + +<p>“And yet there is nothing impossible about <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_209" id="pg_209">209</a></span>it. We can see how simply it +all happened.”</p> + +<p>“What is she like?”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington was quite puzzled about a resemblance to some one, and +she thinks it you. She has not the radiant beauty of your girlhood, +neither has she the dazzling charm of Zay. Oh, I think she is the most +like Willard; rather too grand for a girl of sixteen, with a great deal +of dignity. Oh, you should hear Mrs. Barrington talk about her. And how +do you suppose she and the doctor kept the secret yesterday! They knew +it would disturb our happy Christmas. And <i>she</i> was nursing the sick +woman.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, did she know?”</p> + +<p>“Not that she was our daughter until this morning. I felt bewildered +over it all,” and Major Crawford gave a deep drawn sigh.</p> + +<p>His wife pressed his hand. Her tears were flowing silently.</p> + +<p>“Well—it will be very strange to have her here,” remarked Miss +Crawford. “But I warn you, Zay will always be the dearest to me.”</p> + +<p>Twilight was falling around them. Mrs. Crawford would never have her own +lights early. This was her favorite hour with her husband. Aunt Kate +stole softly to Zay’s <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_210" id="pg_210">210</a></span>room and found her sleeping tranquilly, the fever +mostly gone.</p> + +<p>“Oh, I wonder how you will take it,” she mused. “You have been the +darling of the household so long.”</p> + +<p>For somehow, she was not in a mood to welcome this newcomer. True, there +must be the strongest proof or Major Crawford would not have been +convinced or allowed himself to get in such a passion with this Mrs. +Boyd. But a girl reared amid the commonest surroundings, enduring the +straits of poverty, lack of education, no accomplishments, how could she +take her place in the front rank of Mount Morris society? And the +boys—how would they accept this rusticity and probably self conceit?</p> + +<p>Major Crawford and his wife often fell into tender and mysterious +confidences at this hour, that were never shared with others. They were +very happy in her recovery though the last two years she had suffered +very little. But she did not want to depute the care of her daughter +growing into womanhood entirely to Aunt Kate who had many worldly aims +and prejudices, and who was very proud of her niece’s beauty. And now +such a load was lifted from her soul that had <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_211" id="pg_211">211</a></span>never quite forgiven +itself for taking her finest baby on the unfortunate journey.</p> + +<p>“Oh, I must see her,” she cried in a whisper.</p> + +<p>“But she will not come here until all is over with that poor woman. I do +not see how she can care so much for her.”</p> + +<p>“My dear, it shows a true and strong regard. Remember it is the only +mother she has ever known. To turn at once would show a volatile +disposition. I have been afraid of that in Zaidee, who is easily taken +with new friends, though I will admit that she does not discard the old +ones. But I wish sometimes other people were not so easily attracted by +her.”</p> + +<p>“But she is charming,” said the admiring father.</p> + +<p>“I hope they will love each other. We must expect a little jealousy at +first. And you think she is not—that her narrow life has not dwarfed +her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, you should listen to Mrs. Barrington’s enthusiasm. You see, it was +not an easy place to fill, after all. She was in some of the classes, +but she held herself aloof. Then she taught a little among the younger +day scholars, and kept a certain supervision in the evening study hour. +Her mother’s position was a sort of handicap, she was so very meek and +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_212" id="pg_212">212</a></span>retiring. All women cannot add dignity to an inferior position, and +young people are very apt to take them according to the position. Mrs. +Barrington was planning some changes for the new term that would be +brought about by the passing away of the poor woman. I think she meant, +in a way, to adopt her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, she must be worthy, to have made such a friend.”</p> + +<p>And the mother was wondering, but dared not ask what Marguerite had +grown into. She was not like Zay, all the coloring was darker. Willard +was fine looking for a young man, but would it not be rather masculine +for a girl? She had a fancy for the soft attractiveness in a woman.</p> + +<p>Then the light came and dinner. Mrs. Crawford went to Zay’s room +afterward and found her comfortable and better, with no recurrence of +fever, and they had a pleasant little chat.</p> + +<p>The next morning a letter came from Phillipa, full of merry nonsense +about gifts and gayety and lovers. She was very well, with the very +underscored, and two engagements for every evening. She had not heard +from Louie, “but I should have if her little <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_213" id="pg_213">213</a></span>finger had ached; she +would have been afraid of some distemper. And I hope you are all having +a splendid time.”</p> + +<p>Afterward Dr. Kendricks came in. Yes, she was better, the throat was all +right; there was a slight remnant of the cold, and it would be best to +be careful for a few days. Oh, yes, she could dress herself and go about +the house, but not out driving.</p> + +<p>“You danced a little too much Christmas night, though for the life of me +I don’t see what you were so nervous about.”</p> + +<p>She flushed and laughed and felt that she had escaped a great danger.</p> + +<p>Then he and the Major set out together, meeting Mr. Ledwith at the +school. The doctor went upstairs. Lilian met him with anxious eyes.</p> + +<p>“Yes, there has been a great change. She has gone more rapidly than I +thought. Can she speak?”</p> + +<p>“Hardly. Now and then a word. Yet she understands all that I say to +her,” Lilian returned, gravely. “But she was quite restless during the +night.”</p> + +<p>He nodded. “You see, my dear Miss Boyd—you will be that until you take +your new name, the confession has no signature. It might <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_214" id="pg_214">214</a></span>never be +called in question but sometimes, years afterward, in the various +changes of property, it might be necessary to establish a legal +identity. Can you make her understand this? And you can attest most of +her story. I will call up Mr. Ledwith. And your father is most desirous +of being present. He will make no trouble.”</p> + +<p>She went out in the hall to meet him.</p> + +<p>“My dear,” he said, “I am more reasonable than I was yesterday. Your +lovely mother has placed some views in a different light, and she is +most glad that you have never lacked for a fervent love and care. And we +both forgive her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, thank you for that. Though Mrs. Barrington advises that she had +better not be told of the discovery. You see she is so tranquil now, +knowing that I am provided for.”</p> + +<p>Then they entered the room. Mrs. Boyd scarcely noticed them, but her +eyes questioned Lilian, who began to explain, holding the poor hand in +hers. Mrs. Boyd seemed confused at first, then she said with some +difficulty—“Yes, yes.”</p> + +<p>Lilian and Miss Arran pillowed her up in a sitting posture and placed +the material on a portable desk.</p> + +<p>“It is just to sign your name.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_215" id="pg_215">215</a></span>She seemed to listen as Mr. Ledwith read the affadavit, and nodded, +with her eyes on Lilian, who put the pen in her hand, but she could not +clasp it.</p> + +<p>“I think you will have to guide it. She does not understand.”</p> + +<p>Lilian took the poor shaking hand in hers, and the sick woman looked up +into her face and smiled.</p> + +<p>It was written, but even Lilian’s hand shook a little. “Emma Eliza +Boyd.”</p> + +<p>“That is all, dear,” said the girl.</p> + +<p>She made a great effort to articulate, and her eyes had a frightened +look in them. “You—will not—go?”</p> + +<p>“Oh, no, no,” returned Lilian, with a kiss.</p> + +<p>“Tired—tired,” she gasped.</p> + +<p>They laid her down and gave her a spoonful of stimulant but she only +swallowed a little of it.</p> + +<p>The others left the room. Dr. Kendricks shook his head slowly. Mr. +Ledwith gave the last page of the confession to Major Crawford. Lilian +sat on the side of the bed, chafing the cool hands that had grown more +helpless since yesterday, and presently Mrs. Boyd slept, but one could +hardly note the breathing.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington looked in and beckoned to Lilian.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_216" id="pg_216">216</a></span>“Your own mother is here,” she said softly. “And I feel like putting in +another claim, but I cannot displace the rightful one. You will find her +in the library.”</p> + +<p>Lilian went slowly down. The beautiful woman she had seen in church, the +woman who had lain like dead when Mrs. Boyd glanced upon her, the mother +who had missed her all these years! The tall figure rose with the +softness of a cloud longing to embrace the moon, with arms outstretched, +and the child went to them in the caress of divine satisfaction. For +this was the mother of her dreams and ideals, and their souls were as +one.</p> + +<p>They kissed away each other’s tears.</p> + +<p>“I felt that I <i>must</i> come, that I <i>must</i> see you. But I am not going to +take you away, much as I long for you, since you have a sacred duty +here. When that is finished we will begin our lives together. At first, +your father was mad with jealousy that <i>she</i> should have dared to love +you so much, but now he is glad as I am that you did not suffer from +coldness or indifference. That would have broken my heart.”</p> + +<p>“And I am afraid I did not always return love for love. I was always +dreaming, desiring something I had not. She worked for me all <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_217" id="pg_217">217</a></span>those +early years. I had resolved as soon as was possible to be her caretaker, +to put in her life the things she desired, whether they pleased me or +not. It did not take much to make her happy.”</p> + +<p>“And no man can understand the longing of a woman’s soul when her child +has been torn from her arms. Poor empty arms, that no prayer can fill. +And this was why she snatched at the baby, believing it was motherless. +Yes, I forgave her and so did he when he came to look at it in the true +light. Some women, when times pressed hard in work and poverty, would +have placed you in an institution——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I think she would have starved first!” interrupted the girl, +vehemently.</p> + +<p>“And now, if God grants it, we may have a long, satisfying life +together. For He has given me back my health like a miracle, as we had +thought it could never be, and were quite resigned. And now He has +restored all that we missed, given us the oil of joy for mourning. Oh, +child, let me look at you. As a baby you were so different from Zaidee, +it hardly seemed as if you could be twins; and you are taller, yes, you +are more like Willard. But you have my eyes, and I never was fairy-like. +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_218" id="pg_218">218</a></span>Oh, I hope you girls will love each other, and I want you to love me +with all your heart to make up for those years that have fallen out of +our lives.”</p> + +<p>The exquisitely soft, silvery laugh was music to the girl’s heart. Yes, +this was the ideal mother. Was there some secret quality in heredity, +after all?</p> + +<p>They talked on and on. She wanted to hear more particulars of her +daughter’s life, but Lilian softened some of the roughest places, the +fights she had had with herself, when she felt she must give up her +cherished school, the pleasure of coming to an atmosphere like this, the +warm interest of Mrs. Barrington.</p> + +<p>“And now I must leave you,” said the mother, “but I take with me a +delightful hope. When your duty is done here, and I appreciate your +doing it, you will find your true home in my heart and my home. Oh, I +think you will never be able to understand all my joy.”</p> + +<p>She rose and wiped away her tears. Yes, she was beautiful enough to +adore. Her own mother! It thrilled every pulse.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear, let us both thank God for this restoration. It is like a +heavenly dream. I must have time to get used to it.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_219" id="pg_219">219</a></span>Lilian watched her as she stepped into the phæton, with its handsome +bays and the silver mountings. And Zaidee could have every wish +gratified; friends, music, travel. It was there for her, also. She had +never dreamed of that.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_220" id="pg_220">220</a></span> +<a name="A_MOTHERS_LOVE_5345" id="A_MOTHERS_LOVE_5345"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2> +<h3>A MOTHER’S LOVE</h3> +</div> + +<p>Mrs. Boyd had not stirred. Lilian bent over her and found the breathing +very faint. Miss Arran sat by the window and merely glanced up. The girl +buried her face in the pillow and heard again the soft, finely modulated +voice, the clasp of the hand that meant so much, the promise for +tomorrow.</p> + +<p>“If they were not so rich,” her musings ran, “If I could do something +for her. Oh, it seems too much. If we could go away—but to face all the +girls, to hear the comments.”</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd, can you spare me a few moments,” said Mrs. Dane. “Mrs. Arran +will watch.”</p> + +<p>Lilian followed to Mrs. Dane’s room.</p> + +<p>“Miss Boyd, I have an apology to make to you, and I am honest enough to +confess it. I can’t just tell why, but I did take a dislike to you and +your mother. She seemed very weak and as if she was afraid a baleful +secret might come to light, and you were the master mind holding some +curious power over her.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_221" id="pg_221">221</a></span>“Oh, it was not that,” cried Lilian, eagerly. “It was because in her +simple life she had not been accustomed to the usages that obtained in +the larger world. Often I did guide her a little. She was very timid.”</p> + +<p>“And it seemed to me—of course I understand it now, that you held your +head quite too high for your mother’s daughter. I was brought up to do +my duty in that station of life to which it should please God to call +me, and not try to get out of it. You seemed above it—somehow——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, did I act that way? I was only trying to do <i>my</i> duty to the +classes and to Mrs. Barrington. I did not mean to seem above my +station,” and there was sob in her voice.</p> + +<p>“My dear, don’t cry. My apology would not be worth half so much if I +held back part of the price. I think I was a little jealous of Mrs. +Barrington’s favor for you, as I had a curious suspicion that something +not quite orthodox might come out about you, that you really were not +her child. You see I was not so far out of the way after all, and that +evening I accused you of having gone to the Clairvoyants—we had just +heard the death was from malignant scarlet fever. It would have ruined +the school for a long while to have <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_222" id="pg_222">222</a></span>it break out here, you know. If the +person had come out in the open so that I could have seen, but her +darting back, and I think there was more than one. It seems even now as +if it did look like you, but it might have been because it was like the +Tam you wore. And you appeared so embarrassed over it.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, could you believe that I would have told such a falsehood?” she +cried, hurt to the very quick.</p> + +<p>“We thought it best to take precautions. Then Mrs. Boyd had her stroke +and then came her confession and all that has happened since. Your +devotion to that poor woman was enough to stamp the nobleness of your +character, and it is not because you are Major Crawford’s daughter that +I say this—that I am ashamed of my prejudices and beg you to forgive +me. Mrs. Barrington was right from the beginning and you are worthy of +the best of fortune.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Dane—” and her voice broke.</p> + +<p>“I should have felt myself contemptible if I had not made this amends, +and now if you will shake hands with me——”</p> + +<p>“Gladly. And I thank you for the kindliness towards my—yes, she <i>was</i> +my mother all these years and the sympathy you showed <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_223" id="pg_223">223</a></span>me even before it +was proved who my real father was.”</p> + +<p>“And I wish you much joy and happiness, which you will surely have. And +you will be fitted to grace any position. You will have one of the +loveliest of women for a mother, and two brothers who, so far, have been +most exemplary. And that darling, Zay—the whole town loves her.”</p> + +<p>Lilian wiped her eyes, and pressed Mrs. Dane’s hand fervently. Would Zay +proffer her a sister’s love?</p> + +<p>She went back to Mrs. Boyd, who suddenly opened her eyes and smiled, +then the thin lids fell. How she had wasted away! She tried to recount +to herself all the kindnesses, the sacrifices Mrs. Boyd had made. And +though the boarding house had been of the commonest sort there had never +seemed any real pinches. She had even saved up money. It was the long +illness and the changes incident to it that had not only reduced their +little store, but broken her health and made her fearful of the future. +She had taken up the sewing then. Four years there had been of that. +Lilian remembered how proud she had been to enter the High School among +the best scholars.</p> + +<p>And some day she would teach. It was such <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_224" id="pg_224">224</a></span>a delightful vision. She +studied other things beside the ordinary lessons. She loved to play and +at times when she had turned her brain almost upside down she ran out +and had a game of tag with the girls.</p> + +<p>There were other evenings when she overcast long seams and pulled +bastings, and the last year she had learned to sew on the machine. With +scanty living and steady work, her mother had dropped down and down. But +she was glad she had offered to go in the shop. When matters were a +little easier she might try night school she had thought.</p> + +<p>And this beautiful school was like an entrance into a land of romance. +The luxurious living, at least it seemed so to her, would soon restore +her mother’s health. The duties were light. She had time for reading and +oh, the lovely things! She did at times wish there had been some other +position for her mother, like that of Miss Arran’s. But she understood +that Mrs. Boyd could not fill that. She lacked something, she had no +real dignity, no self-assertion. She allowed the girls to order her, and +Lilian wondered how these rich girls, who in some respects had polished +manners, could be so ill bred. For somehow she understood the +difference.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_225" id="pg_225">225</a></span>There were several with whom she might have been good friends, but she +was too proud to step outside of what she considered her real station.</p> + +<p>And now this wonderful event had come to her and she seemed to +understand the thoughts and feelings that had been such a mystery. When +she had been clasped to her true mother’s heart, it appeared to her as +if a veil had been drawn aside, and she had stepped into a larger room, +replete with all she had vaguely dreamed about. That Crawford House was +one of the fine old places, she knew, but she never thought of that +luxurious living where all the tomorrows had been provided for. She +would have gone to the simplest cottage for that mother’s love.</p> + +<p>Would Zaidee Crawford give her a sister’s warm welcome? She would never +grudge her anything money could buy; but she, Lilian, must seem like an +interloper to them. And to share her mother’s love with a stranger!</p> + +<p>Miss Arran entered the room.</p> + +<p>“You ought to go to bed, Miss Boyd. I will sit here and watch. Your +mother seems asleep.”</p> + +<p>Lilian changed her dress for a comfortable wrapper, kissed her mother’s +forehead and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_226" id="pg_226">226</a></span>pressed the cold hands. She did not stir; but then she had +lain this way for hours at a time. The girl drew up her cot to the side +of her mother’s bed and laid down. The clocks all about were striking +midnight.</p> + +<p>It had not been so tranquil at Crawford House. Dinner had been rather +quiet; no one seemingly to want to talk at any length. Afterward, Major +Crawford had said—</p> + +<p>“Let us all go up to mother’s room. I have a singular explanation to +make to you two children. Aunt Kate has known it these two days.”</p> + +<p>“There has seemed something mysterious in the air,” exclaimed Willard, +“only I am sure nothing worse has happened to mother. She looks so +extraordinarily happy, and Zay is about again.”</p> + +<p>“We must go back to the time of the accident,” began the Major. “We +thought we had overlived the sorrow and we had never expected any joy +for the outcome.”</p> + +<p>He paused to steady his voice, then began the story of the other woman, +the only passenger who carried an infant, her hours of unconsciousness, +her hearing the cry of the child and claiming it and then learning that +the woman she believed its mother had been <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_227" id="pg_227">227</a></span>killed and full of pity for +it, since her own had been mangled and carried away, resolved to take it +and care for it. She left the next day—</p> + +<p>“Oh, you don’t mean she took our baby,” cried Willard passionately, his +eyes aflame.</p> + +<p>“She took our baby. She has cared for it all these years through poverty +and failing health and now that she is dying, she thought the child +ought to know. They have been at Mrs. Barrington’s since some time in +August.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee sprang up, but her face was ghostly pale and there was a +tremulous protest in her voice.</p> + +<p>“Oh, it is that Mrs. Boyd, the caretaker and her daughter!” she +exclaimed, drawing a long strangling breath full of protest.</p> + +<p>“Our daughter,” said her father with emphasis. Then he went on to relate +how the matter had been brought to his notice and his unreasonable anger +at first as he could not doubt the story vouched for by Doctor +Kendricks, his interview with the child and Mrs. Barrington, Mrs. +Crawford’s visit to her yesterday.</p> + +<p>“What a wonderful story!” Willard sprang <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_228" id="pg_228">228</a></span>up and began to pace the +floor. “I suppose it <i>is</i> true. That baby couldn’t have died and she +adopted another one.”</p> + +<p>“How do we know that she did not?” said Miss Crawford, protestingly.</p> + +<p>“She was anxious that the girl in some manner might find her father’s +people. You see, she was sure the mother was dead. Oh, there is enough +to convince you all. Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith have no doubt of the +truth of her story. There is no scheme in it. And it was thought best, +in her weakened state, not to try any explanations.”</p> + +<p>“It was nurse Jane who died, and the dead baby was buried with her. Ah, +one glance at the girl would convince you,” said the mother in the +tenderest voice.</p> + +<p>“But—why didn’t she come here at once?”</p> + +<p>“She was very noble about it. And this is another factor in the story. +She would not leave the mother who had worked and toiled for her; so you +see she was not tempted by the thought of advancement. She was afraid to +believe the outcome of the story at first. Oh, I am proud of her, though +at first I was really cruel. I wanted the woman punished.”</p> + +<p>“After all,” said Willard, “if the baby had been friendless and an +orphan it would have been very noble in her.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_229" id="pg_229">229</a></span>“You shall read her confession some day. It is pathetic. She thought +she had lost her all and clung to the baby. Oh, we must all forgive +her.”</p> + +<p>“And what do you mean to do?” asked Miss Crawford. “It is going to make +a great stir for it cannot be kept a secret, and I hate gossip about +families.”</p> + +<p>“Yes, the thing must be explained. I have given what of the story I want +known to a reporter this afternoon. After the poor woman has gone, +Marguerite will come here to her true home and life.”</p> + +<p>“Why, Zay, you must have known her at the school,” said Willard. “It +seems she was studying——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, they are all on the other side away from the boarders. She was in +the study room an hour in the evening, with the smaller girls. We were +all at a different table that we had to ourselves. And—somehow, I never +saw much of her. I didn’t have to go to Mrs. Boyd for my mending.”</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate had put her arm about Zay at the beginning of the story. The +mother noted with a pang that there was no real welcome in this +daughter’s face. Was it jealousy?</p> + +<p>Willard stood between his parents and laid a hand on the shoulder of +each.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_230" id="pg_230">230</a></span>“Oh,” in a voice freighted with emotion. “I can’t tell you how glad and +thankful I am that this sorrow of years is to be turned into such a +great all-pervading joy. We will be a perfect family again. Why, it will +be the romance of our lives! It almost makes me wish I were not going +away. And since you have seen her and are satisfied—mother——”</p> + +<p>He stooped to kiss her.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” she returned, brokenly, “I want you all to love her, and be +patient with Zay. She has always been first so long.”</p> + +<p>“I think if I was a girl I’d be wild to have a sister to tell things +to—the little things a fellow tells his sweetheart, I suppose, when he +has one,” laughing. “Vin and I discuss our gettings along and our hopes +and some funny scrapes that boys get into. But girls look at the +romantic side. And you can’t think—but <i>I’m</i> proud of this romance. +Why, it will be something to tell over to our children, and father’s +been a trump, but I think it’s a good deal owing to you. Oh, I hope +<i>she</i> is like you.”</p> + +<p>The mother smiled as she kissed him.</p> + +<p>Zay came to say good-night. Her face had grave lines that were not wont +to be there.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my darling,” the mother said, “this is one of the things that +cannot make any <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_231" id="pg_231">231</a></span>difference in our love for you. And if you could only +understand the burthen it had lifted off my soul. A hundred times I have +said: ‘Oh, why did I take baby Marguerite on that journey?’ She was so +strong and well and I was so proud of her, I wanted your father to see +her.”</p> + +<p>“And you will be proud of her again. She is going to be a fine scholar, +and I’m just pretty to look at, that’s all! I can’t make myself love +anyone all in a moment,” and she gave a little sob.</p> + +<p>“My child, the love will come if you do not steel your heart against it. +Think, Zay, a twin sister——”</p> + +<p>“But she is larger, different and a sort of story heroine. Everyone will +be interested in her and I shall be pushed quite to the wall.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Zay, you are a foolish little girl. But you have had all the +admiration and love, and we must wait patiently until you understand +that love can never be impoverished by giving. Think of this, pray for a +generous heart, and let her love you.”</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate was waiting in her room. And Zay’s overcharged heart gave way +to a passion of weeping on the friendly bosom.</p> + +<p>“Dear, I know how hard it is to be crowded <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_232" id="pg_232">232</a></span>out. Of course everyone will +flock around her for a while and never having had much admiration she +will be the more eager for it. And as will be perfectly natural when the +first interest is worn off, the real grain will be apparent and I dare +say she will show her common breeding. Why, this Mrs. Boyd had next to +no education. I shouldn’t want anyone to see that so-called confession, +but I dare say your father will keep it close enough, for he would be +ashamed to have any one see it. I’m sorry the story had to get abroad, +but your father thought there would be so many surmises, and perhaps, +exaggerations. It’s a horrid thing to live through, but your mother is +so much happier. Why, she seemed ten years younger. And you will always +have a staunch friend in me. No one can oust you from my heart if she +had all the gifts of the nine graces. Oh, you will come back to your +rightful place, never fear.”</p> + +<p>But Zay wept herself to sleep with an ache in her heart that crowded out +all tender feelings.</p> + +<p>After a long while Lilian Boyd fell asleep and there came no +disturbance. Just at daylight Miss Arran leaned over the bed and touched +the cold face, felt for the heart. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_233" id="pg_233">233</a></span>There was not the faintest motion. +There had not been a sound or a sigh, she had just lapsed into her +dreamless sleep. She summoned Mrs. Dane.</p> + +<p>“It is much better so. There will be nothing painful to remember,” said +that lady.</p> + +<p>“Mother, mother!” and Lilian roused suddenly.</p> + +<p>“My dear,” said Miss Arran, “she has gone to her rest in the most +peaceful manner. The doctor said it might be so, and you have done your +full duty. My dear, you can go to your own mother’s arms with the +clearest conscience. I am glad, we are all glad that you elected to +stay, though your father, in his first indignation, would have swept you +away. I hardly see how you won your way. Come to Mrs. Dane’s room and +have a cup of coffee.”</p> + +<p>She gave one long look at the still face. Oh, how thin and worn it was, +yet there was a certain peacefulness that comforted the girl. Mrs. +Harrington came in and kissed her tenderly. “It is all as we would have +it,” she said. “And whatever mistake Mrs. Boyd might have made must be +balanced by the thought that if there had been no one, as she believed, +she would have taken you to her heart just as gladly, done for you with +the same cheerfulness. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_234" id="pg_234">234</a></span>This is what she did; you must always keep it in +mind. And now—can you help make some arrangements? Whatever money is +needed——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Mrs. Barrington, I think there will be enough. She still had some +of her insurance money that she had used only in emergencies. And we +have needed so little here. Oh, you have all been so kind,” in her +grateful, broken voice.</p> + +<p>Then Dr. Kendricks was announced.</p> + +<p>“I supposed it would be that way,” he said.</p> + +<p>“Shall I make arrangements for the funeral. There is no one, I +suppose——”</p> + +<p>“It is too far away from her old friends for any of them to come, and I +am sure Lilian would like it as simple and quiet as possible. I should +say tomorrow morning. No one will go out of curiosity.”</p> + +<p>“Then I will see about it at once. The Major is all impatience to have +his daughter.”</p> + +<p>“You must come and share my room,” Mrs. Barrington said to Lilian.</p> + +<p>“Oh, she really doesn’t seem any different to me,” the girl returned. +“She has slept so much the last few days, and it is what we have +expected. God has taken her in His keeping and she will have those +belonging to her. It is a blessed thought.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_235" id="pg_235">235</a></span>She sat reading by the window when the Crawford phæton drove up. Her +first feeling was that she could not meet her father. But a young man +sprang out and the coachman took charge of the horses.</p> + +<p>“It is your brother,” announced Mrs. Barrington. “Oh, do try and see +him. Your mother wishes it so much.”</p> + +<p>Lilian went down and was clasped to her mother’s heart and held there +many seconds.</p> + +<p>“This is your brother Willard, who is soon to leave for Washington and +he begged so much to see a little of you. His will be a three years’ +cruise, and I am doubly glad to have found another child in view of his +long absence.”</p> + +<p>Lilian glanced up. It was such a frank, kindly face, too young yet for +any of his father’s sternness.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear, I wonder if you will ever understand how precious you are +going to be to us all. It is like one raised from the dead. I shall go +away with a lighter heart, seeing that mother and father have you. We +boys have been so much to the house with our stirring interests; now it +will be you and Zaidee. I shall think of you so often. Why, I can +readily believe any fairy story, and it almost breaks <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_236" id="pg_236">236</a></span>father’s heart +that you have been so near all these months and none of us known it. You +will not feel hurt if he sometimes should show a little—” he paused +with a flush. “For after all it might have been her child who was +saved——” and she felt the shiver go over him.</p> + +<p>“And to know that you were loved all these years,” said the mother +holding out her arms, and both children went to them. “And that you +never really suffered for anything. Sometimes I hardly dare believe in +and accept this great blessing.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I hope I will prove a blessing,” Lilian said, with a great tremble +in her voice. “You are so good to take me in, to love and trust me, +knowing so little about me.”</p> + +<p>For of late she had been learning how much children could be to parents.</p> + +<p>“But I think Mrs. Barrington had opportunities of knowing,” returned her +mother with a warm pressure, and fond smile.</p> + +<p>Willard had been studying her. “There’s something about her like you, +mother, and something that recalls Vincent. Oh, won’t he be surprised! +He will want to fly home again. Oh, you will not mind if Zaidee carries +off the family beauty. She is such a dear! <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_237" id="pg_237">237</a></span>And we ought to have one +star of the goodly Crawford family.”</p> + +<p>“I am glad, and I thought her lovely at the first glance. Why, the girls +are quite wild about her. I shall not mind anything so long as you all +love me. Oh, I will try to deserve it.”</p> + +<p>There were tears in her eyes and her mother kissed her tenderly. Then +they talked about her coming home which could not be until her whole +duty was performed and there was no omission to think of.</p> + +<p>Yet they went lingeringly, loth to leave her.</p> + +<p>“She has a great deal of character;” said Willard. “She seems more +mature than Zay. I am glad they are not alike, though it seems rather +out of the order for twins. Oh, mother, I can foresee that she will be a +great deal to <i>you</i> in a womanly way. We can never thank God enough for +her.”</p> + +<p>“And all these years, amid the suffering, I have always thought if I had +left my darling at home. I was so proud of her I wanted your father to +see her. Zaidee was not such a fine looking baby. We had both so +ardently desired a daughter; indeed we had often said two boys and two +girls was an ideal family.”</p> + +<p>“And I wouldn’t give up Vin—boys have a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_238" id="pg_238">238</a></span>delightful interest in each +others’ lives and doings. I suppose sisters feel the same way. That +is—well, it will be a little strange at first. Zay has been our queen +so long, and it can’t be quite like living together from infancy.”</p> + +<p>“No. So we must make allowance for both of them until they reach the +true level of birthright. Marguerite is very proud and has unusually +well defined ideas of duty, while we have never put anything but love +before Zay. I expect we have spoiled her.”</p> + +<p>Mount Morris was startled in the midst of its Christmas festivities by +the remarkable announcement that Marguerite, the twin baby of Major and +Mrs. Crawford, had been miraculously saved from the wreck, where the +nurse and several others had perished. Another passenger whose baby had +been killed, thinking the nurse was the true mother of the child, had +taken it to her heart out of pity for the helpless little creature, and +gone farther westward before real inquiries could be made as to whether +there were any relatives living.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford had insisted upon softening what her husband had +considered a crime on the part of Mrs. Boyd.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_239" id="pg_239">239</a></span>“Think how she must have loved the little creature she thought +friendless, to burden herself with it. And I am so thankful <i>my</i> baby +found loving care. Why, she might have perished with neglect through +that dreadful time. We can do nothing for her and we will not, must not, +traduce her motives, when they were prompted by an overwhelming love.”</p> + +<p>So it was represented that Mrs. Boyd had taken the position at Mrs. +Barrington’s that her adopted child might be better educated as her own +health was failing, which after all was the truth, though Lilian’s +pleading had been a special factor.</p> + +<p>The poor woman’s burial had been quiet, in the early morning. Mrs. +Barrington and Miss Arran had gone with Lilian whose great regret had +been that there was not sufficient money to send her to Laconia to sleep +beside her husband and her little son, but she gave thanks that there +was no need of benevolence though Mrs. Barrington had insisted she +should supply any need.</p> + +<p>She had begged that she might be left at the school over Sunday, and +Mrs. Crawford found herself so shaken by all the excitement that she +assented the more readily. Zaidee <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_240" id="pg_240">240</a></span>was quite well again and laughed at +herself for having been so easily alarmed. There had been no cases of +illness in the town and the clairvoyant had taken her family to a city +at some distance.</p> + +<p>“It really would be the part of wisdom to go to the city if you felt +well enough,” Aunt Kate said to her sister-in-law. “Of course there will +be a good deal of talk, and it is but natural that our friends should +desire to see the new daughter of the house. It is a most excellent +thing that Dr. Kendricks has been mixed up with it all and can vouch for +the truth. And the child might get some training to fit her for her new +position.”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington has had her in training for some time, and from the +very first was attracted by her natural grace and dignity; and her +strength of character,” was the reply, “and her father found +resemblances to me in the first interview!”</p> + +<p>“But the years before would naturally leave some impress. Mrs. Boyd, it +seems, had not much education, and they must have lived in the commoner +streets with all kinds of people. I feel something as brother does, that +I can hardly forgive her for robbing the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_241" id="pg_241">241</a></span>child of her natural +birthright and subjecting her to plebian surroundings.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford winced and flushed a little. Her last remembrance of the +smiling, cooing baby, bright eyed and full of health and sweetness, +never faded from her mind, and she fancied now she should have the same +instinctive impressions that had puzzled Mrs. Barrington. Aunt Kate +might be rather captious at first, but she could pardon it and +understand it as well, for she had been a most devoted mother to Zaidee.</p> + +<p>Then, too, school would begin so soon and all these little breaks would +bring about the finer claims of relationship.</p> + +<p>No one went to church on Sunday. Mrs. Crawford was not quite up to the +mark, and Aunt Kate declared she could not face the curious eyes or +answer a question. The Major longed to go over to Mrs. Barrington’s but +some feeling of delicacy restrained him.</p> + +<p>Lilian had come home from the lonely burial like one in a strange dream. +The brief illness, the excitement of the confession, the quiet passing +out of existence had transpired so rapidly that she could hardly make it +real. She almost expected to find Mrs. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_242" id="pg_242">242</a></span>Boyd lying there on the bed when +she entered the room. She felt that Mrs. Boyd had never taken root at +Mount Morris; she smiled sadly thinking of Mrs. Dane’s suspicions that +there was some secret between them, that she, Lilian, was afraid would +come to light. But she had never in her wildest moments dreamed of the +truth. Mrs. Boyd had all the limitation of a commonplace nature, sweet, +devoted, with no lofty aspirations. The refinements of Barrington House +wore upon her. She did try, for Lilian’s sake, to adapt herself to some +of them but the effort was plainly visible to practiced eyes. If she had +lived—but then the confession would hardly have been made. For, with +all the unlikeness, Lilian had never suspected the truth.</p> + +<p>Oh, why had not God given this poor starved life its rightful +surroundings? If Mrs. Boyd had lived! If there had been a number of +merry, satisfied children going cheerfully to work in shops and +factories when school days were over, having lovers, marrying and +repeating their mother’s life! For the world was full of ordinary happy +people with no high ideals. Was there something in heredity?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_243" id="pg_243">243</a></span>No, she could not have been content with that destiny. She must have +worked and striven for a higher round, for some intellectual +advancement. Yet, how many of these girls at school really cared for it +with all their advantages? It was not mere money that inspired one, and +she almost wished she were not going in that upper atmosphere.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_244" id="pg_244">244</a></span> +<a name="GOING_OUT_OF_THE_OLD_LIFE_5890" id="GOING_OUT_OF_THE_OLD_LIFE_5890"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XIV</h2> +<h3>GOING OUT OF THE OLD LIFE</h3> +</div> + +<p>Lilian had seen very little of her friend, Miss Trenham, through the +week, though every day she had been the recipient of a note of sympathy +and affection. She came in on Saturday afternoon.</p> + +<p>“My dear girl,” she began, “so many unusual events have happened to you +that one must needs use both congratulations and condolences. I saw the +newspaper account and it seems like the finger of Providence that you +should have been directed hither and to the arms of your real parents. +Mrs. Boyd looked very poorly the last time I saw her, a month or so ago. +I suppose there is a great deal back of the account——”</p> + +<p>“I have wanted to see you so,” returned Lilian. “I thought I would come +to the Chapel tomorrow morning. You are the only friend I have made +outside of the school, but Mrs. Barrington has been so sweet and +generous. She had planned to keep me here after mother was gone and +educate me.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_245" id="pg_245">245</a></span>The tears stood in Lilian’s eyes and her voice broke with emotion.</p> + +<p>“There is so much to talk over, and we have gone to our own home now. +Mother and I have been very busy the last four days cleaning and putting +things in order. We spent our Christmas at Mrs. Lane’s and had a really +delightful time. We had planned some time ago to have you share it with +us, and now can you not spare us Sunday, if you are not going——”</p> + +<p>“The change is to be made on Monday. Oh, Miss Trenham—I can hardly +describe my feelings. I dread it and yet my own mother is an ideal +mother. I hardly dare think of the happiness in store for me, but I +shall go on here at school. I am glad of that. I could not give up my +dear Mrs. Barrington.”</p> + +<p>“We want to hear all the story—your side,” smiling gravely. “So if you +can come and dine with us on Sunday. Oh, there are so many +explanations.”</p> + +<p>“I will see. Excuse me a few moments.” Lilian came back with a heartsome +expression.</p> + +<p>“Yes, I can come. I wanted to go to the Chapel in the morning. I suppose +some of my life, at least, will be changed——”</p> + +<p>“Yes, but it will be—yes, lovely and advantageous. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_246" id="pg_246">246</a></span>I never thought +Mrs. Boyd quite the right mother for you, if you will allow me to say +it.”</p> + +<p>Lilian flushed. “But she loved me with her whole soul. She would have +made any sacrifice to advance me. All these years she has cared for me, +worked for me and I should be an ingrate to forget it. If she had lived +and this had not come, I was planning to work for her——”</p> + +<p>“I think you would, without a demur. You would have had an excellent +friend in Mrs. Barrington, but it will be a much wider life, I am very +glad for you. There are people for whom prosperity does very little. You +will not be one of that kind. In spite of her misfortune your mother has +always had a wide and lovely influence, and the home is said to be very +attractive. I think all of Mount Morris rejoiced truly in her +restoration to health, and you will have some of the best of her life. +You will soon learn the sweet lesson of loving her.”</p> + +<p>“My heart went out to her the Sunday I saw her in church. She looked to +me like a saint, and I did not know then, but I have felt bewildered +since. And I have been so used to planning to do something for—for <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_247" id="pg_247">247</a></span>the +one who has gone, that I feel kind of helpless, knowing I can do nothing +for her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes, you can give her a daughter’s choicest love. I am quite sure +you two will grow into finest accord, and two manly brothers and that +lovely Zaidee! Oh, it will be a most absorbing life. You will be in the +sphere just fitted for you. Perhaps God let it all happen that your +character should be the more fully shaped by the experience. We will +talk it over more, at length, tomorrow.”</p> + +<p>Miss Trenham rose and kissed the young girl tenderly, knowing that tears +were very near the surface. After she had gone Lilian gave way to them. +She had not the easily adaptive nature to go in her new home and take +the best at once, though it had been held out with such winning +tenderness. The beautiful face of Zaidee instead of adding a radiance +seemed to shadow the path. She could not explain it to herself; she +would not think her sister would grudge her anything, but she felt in +her inmost heart it would not be given generously. She must win it by +large patience.</p> + +<p>Sunday was a perfect winter day with a gorgeous sunshine and a crisp air +that seemed to bring refreshment in every waft. The leafless trees were +penciled against the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_248" id="pg_248">248</a></span>blue sky like the lines of a fine engraving. The +church bells rang out their reverent inspiration, they were harmoniously +toned and there was no jangling. Lilian wondered a little—were her +parents and the two children at home kneeling in the old church where +the Crawfords had worshiped for a hundred years or more? Did they offer +a little prayer for her?</p> + +<p>The father and mother said it at home. He was all impatience for the day +to pass.</p> + +<p>Oh, how delightful Mrs. Trenham’s warm welcome was, and little Claire +clasped both slim arms about Lilian’s neck and kissed the cool rosy +cheek over and over again. If her sister was little and fond like that!</p> + +<p>“It’s been such a long, long while since you were here. Of course you +couldn’t come while we were away. It was very nice at Mrs. Lane’s; there +were so many people to make merry. You can’t be truly merry alone by +yourself, can you? It’s like bells ringing. You can be happy thinking of +many things, but not merry.”</p> + +<p>Lilian smiled. Yes, the conceit was true.</p> + +<p>Then she must inspect Claire’s Christmas gifts. Her own had been a +pretty booklet that one of the girls had given her in a perfunctory +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_249" id="pg_249">249</a></span>fashion that carried no real regard with it. She had been too full of +anxiety to look up anything.</p> + +<p>“And that lady that came here once who wasn’t your real mother went +away, didn’t she? And Edith said you had a real mother now and you were +going to live with her and not stay at school all the time. I wish I +could go to school. Edith said sometime she might have a school in our +own house, and I might come and say lessons with other little girls. +That will be so nice. I think that will be merry.”</p> + +<p>Then they were summoned to dinner, and the elders took the lead in the +conversation, expressing their surprise at the strange event they had +seen in the paper, and as they lingered over the dessert Lilian told her +own story that she had believed in devoutly until Mrs. Boyd had +explained her adoption, hoping thereby Lilian might trace her +parentage—though Mrs. Boyd supposed only her father could be found. +Mrs. Barrington had supplied the other side.</p> + +<p>“I suppose there is a certain kind of gratification in belonging to an +old and respected family. Major Crawford’s family could go back even of +their first settling in America, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_250" id="pg_250">250</a></span>and the madam was a proud old +Virginian with a fortune, but she wanted only one son, and she had three +and one daughter. All her love and pride was in her first born who was +indulged in every thing and led a gay life. The youngest died, Everard +went to West Point and entered the regular army. Reginald took the best +of life and became a capricious invalid, as penurious as he had been +wasteful before, and died about the time of the accident. The madam had +been dead some years. So all of Crawford House and its belongings came +to the Major, who had married one of the loveliest of girls. You have +heard that part of the story from Mrs. Barrington, doubtless. She was +one of the earlier scholars.”</p> + +<p>“Yes,” replied Lilian. “She admires her, beside loving her for the +bravery with which, she bore the dreadful accident.”</p> + +<p>“I think when the word came, if prayers could have availed for the +safety of the child, the whole town would have prayed, and to think that +God should have saved you and restored you in this strange manner.”</p> + +<p>Edith glanced across the table. Lilian’s eyes were suffused with tears.</p> + +<p>“Miss Crawford had looked after the house, as the mother spent much of +the time in the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_251" id="pg_251">251</a></span>city with Reginald. She was very fond of gayeties, and +her sudden death was a great surprise for she seemed vigorous enough to +round out the century. Miss Kate took charge of little Zay while her +mother was on the journey and through those years spent in hospitals and +sanitoriums. She has been most devoted, refusing several good offers of +marriage, but I suppose Mrs. Barrington has told you most of the family +history.”</p> + +<p>“She is very fond of my mother and her girl life, her early married life +as well, and she fancied at the very first that I resembled some one she +had known.”</p> + +<p>“There is something in the poise of the head and the shape of your chest +and shoulders, that is like her, and it won’t hurt you if I say she was +an extremely handsome girl. Even Reginald admitted that.”</p> + +<p>“And I am not handsome,” Lilian said bravely, though with a little pang. +It had never mattered to her before. Then she turned scarlet and added +with an embarrassed laugh: “That sounds like what the girls call fishing +for compliments. Zaidee will be the family beauty.”</p> + +<p>“And you have a voice, that with the proper training, may be very fine, +indeed. I noticed it this morning in the hymn.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_252" id="pg_252">252</a></span>“Oh, do you think so? I love to sing,” and her face was a-light with +pleasure. “But it seems to me that it isn’t, well—neither alto nor +soprano; I can’t keep it to a true sound.”</p> + +<p>“It is a contralto and has some most expressive notes in it. Of course, +you will be trained in music.”</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington spoke of it in the next term. Some of the girls sing +beautifully. I was to take up several new studies. Oh, there are so many +splendid things to learn.”</p> + +<p>Her face was aglow with enthusiasm and gave promise of something finer +than mere beauty. There had been a good deal of repression in her life +since she had come to understand, in a measure, her own desires. She had +held them back because she did not want to make Mrs. Boyd unhappy with +the difference between them, when she saw that the elder woman was +making any effort to indulge her fancies, and during these months at +school had settled to a grave deportment, that she might better sustain +her authority. The lack of spontaneity had puzzled Mrs. Barrington, when +in some moments she caught the ardor and glow of an inward possibility.</p> + +<p>“I think you will be in the right place now,” remarked Edith with a +smile. “One with a <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_253" id="pg_253">253</a></span>strong individuality at times surmounts adverse +circumstances, but when there are so many events to hamper, one does +lose courage and begins to question whether the effort and sacrifice +will pay for the late reward.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, let me have Miss Lilian awhile,” besought Claire. “I want her to +inspect my playhouse, while you and mother put away the dishes and +things.”</p> + +<p>The playhouse was an old time cabinet with the doors taken off. One +shelf, the highest, was full of curiosities, the next of books, the +third left out and the dolls had it to themselves. There was a parlor in +one end, a sleeping room in the other and three pretty dolls were in +their chairs, ranged round a table, inspecting their Christmas gifts.</p> + +<p>“I wouldn’t have any new dolls this time,” she began, with a touch of +weariness in her voice. “For after all you can’t make them real. I play +school with them. I read them stories. I dress them and take them out +riding, but I have to do the talking for them and sometimes it gets so +dull. There’s too much make-believe. I shall be glad when summer comes +and there won’t be any bad boys next door. What do you suppose God did +with them? They couldn’t like heaven, you know, for there <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_254" id="pg_254">254</a></span>they have to +be good all the time. And there are so many beautiful things in summer. +The birds and the flowers and the trees waving about and the sky so full +of mysterious things. Great islands go sailing about and I wish I was on +one of them. I get so tired, sometimes. I don’t suppose I’ll ever have +any strong back and legs until I do get to heaven. But I’d like to go +about in this world. I want a fairy godmother; that is it.”</p> + +<p>She gave a little laugh but there were tears in her eyes.</p> + +<p>“And you’ve found a fairy godmother, haven’t you? She is real, too, and +lives in a beautiful big house and has a fairy child with golden curls. +Oh, I wonder if she would have been glad to have you if you had been all +bruised and broken and could never walk——”</p> + +<p>“Oh, don’t,” cried Lilian. Would they have been glad to have her?</p> + +<p>“Now, tell me about when you were a little girl and went to the stores +to buy things for your mother and played ‘Ring around a rosy,’ and ‘Open +the gate as high as the sky.’”</p> + +<p>The child’s voice and manner had changed like a flash. She liked +Lilian’s make-believe stories in some moods; then she wanted real +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_255" id="pg_255">255</a></span>children and their doings, children who wiped dishes and swept floors +while their mothers sewed or cared for a little baby in the cradle. And +the petty disputes, the spending of a penny in candy and dividing it +round.</p> + +<p>“They couldn’t all have pennies I suppose,” the child commented.</p> + +<p>“Their mothers were too poor,” laughed Lilian, thinking how seldom she +had the pleasure of being a spendthrift. And if she were ever so rich +what could she do for Claire?</p> + +<p>So they talked on and on until Edith came and said a young gentleman had +called for Lilian—her brother.</p> + +<p>She went through to the parlor. Yes, it was Willard, bright and smiling +as if glad to see her.</p> + +<p>“But how did you know I was here?” she asked.</p> + +<p>“Oh, I was at Mrs. Barrington’s, and we had a long talk about you. Then +she directed me. It is getting towards night and our beautiful day shows +symptoms of coming rain.”</p> + +<p>Yes, it did. She had been so interested in Claire she had not noted the +change.</p> + +<p>“So I think you had better allow me to escort you home, at least—oh, I +wish it were to your real home. Think, what an evening <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_256" id="pg_256">256</a></span>we would have +together, and I’ve only three days more. I have to start Wednesday +evening and report on Thursday. Well, will you give me the pleasure?”</p> + +<p>He rose then, and bending over, kissed her.</p> + +<p>“I’d like you to meet my friends——”</p> + +<p>“Well—for a moment.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Trenham and Edith came in.</p> + +<p>“Just say a quiet good-bye to Claire,” Edith whispered. “She is +curiously upset about something.”</p> + +<p>The slim arms clung to Lilian.</p> + +<p>“Oh, will they let you come again? Edith said it would all be different +and your new mother would want you, and—and—” the child ended with a +sob.</p> + +<p>“Of course I shall come again, and again, little sweetheart,” kissing +her.</p> + +<p>“Oh, what a pretty name! I love you.”</p> + +<p>“And you will soon see me again.”</p> + +<p>Willard stood with his hat in his hand in a waiting attitude, tall and +manly, the fine face marked by a certain pride of birth, of culture, and +the inherited grace of generations. The deep, outlooking eyes spoke of +strength of character with a vein of tenderness, and the smiling mouth +of affability. Yet it struck her that he did not seem to belong to the +plain <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_257" id="pg_257">257</a></span>little parlor and it almost appeared as if he dwarfed the two +women, a feeling she could not help resenting inwardly.</p> + +<p>They made their adieus in a friendly manner. Yes, the bright day had +settled to the threatening of storm. The air was heavy and murky and cut +with the promise of coming sleet. Willard drew the girl’s hand through +his arm and they caught step.</p> + +<p>“I am glad you are going to be tall,” he said. “You have all the +indications, the figure and the air. It runs in mother’s line as well as +that of the Crawfords.”</p> + +<p>“I am taller than—than your sister,” rather hesitatingly.</p> + +<p>“Than <i>your</i> sister, as well. Oh, Marguerite, I hope you two will come +to love each other dearly. Then there will be Vincent. We two boys have +been such chums.”</p> + +<p>“It is strange to have a new name,” she said slowly, yet it was more to +her fancy.</p> + +<p>“Do you like the old one better?” as if in a little doubt.</p> + +<p>“I didn’t like it very much, and I remember when I rebelled against +Lily. It seemed such a sing-song king of a name. It’s sweet and pretty, +too, Lilian Boyd gave it more character.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_258" id="pg_258">258</a></span>“You were named for Mother, but father did not want them quite alike. +Her name was Margaret, and father used to say to her—</p> + +<p style="text-align:left; margin-left:2em">‘Oh, fair Margaret,<br /> +Oh, rare Margaret,<br /> +Where got you the name of strength and beauty?’”</p> + +<p>Would she be dearer to her father on account of her name?</p> + +<p>“And Zaidee?” she said, in a suggestive tone.</p> + +<p>“Oh, I believe it was from a story that had been a great favorite with +my mother, and it does just suit Zay. She is so light and airy and +butterfly-like. Why, she seems about two years younger than you. I’m +glad there isn’t any puzzle about telling you apart. She’s sweet and gay +and loving and I suppose we’ve all spoiled her. Aunt Kate thinks she’s +the loveliest thing in the world, and she has just devoted her life to +the child. Aunt Kate is as good as gold, a stickler for some things and +she’s always been splendid to mother. But she’s great on family. She +can’t cry <i>you</i> down, because you belong to us.”</p> + +<p>“But I’ve been on the other side all my life, and—” yes, she would say +this—“Mrs. Boyd’s health was so broken that if it had not been for Mrs. +Barrington’s kind offer I must <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_259" id="pg_259">259</a></span>have given up school and gone into a +factory; and began to repay her for her kindly care of me.”</p> + +<p>She felt the curious sort of shrinking that passed over him.</p> + +<p>“But you didn’t,” he said, decisively. “And if she had let you +alone——”</p> + +<p>“But she was sure my mother was dead. Oh, nothing can ever make me +forget her tender, devoted love. I cannot bear to have her blamed.”</p> + +<p>“But you must not dispute the matter with father. Let it all go since it +has turned out so fortunately. I love you for your courage in standing +by her, but there are many things you will learn—beliefs and usages of +society. I don’t mean simply money. We Crawfords have no vulgarity with +a gold veneer; and, my dear girl, you may tell all your life with Mrs. +Boyd over to mother, indeed, I think she will want to know it all; +but—be careful about Aunt Kate—”</p> + +<p>“And I <i>was</i> the caretaker’s daughter at Mrs. Barrington’s. Oh, I have +seen some snobbishness among what you call well-born girls. I am not a +whit better or finer than I was a month ago, when I expected to work my +way up to a good salary and strive earnestly for <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_260" id="pg_260">260</a></span>everything I had; and +Mrs. Barrington would have helped me and been really proud of my +success.”</p> + +<p>“What a spirit you have!”</p> + +<p>“I shall never be a snob,” she flung out, proudly.</p> + +<p>“I do not intend to be one myself. Oh, don’t let us dispute these +points. We all learn a good deal as we go along life. And, my dear, love +us all as truly as you loved your foster mother. Oh, I wonder if you can +ever understand your own mother’s joy at having you back—”</p> + +<p>“Which she owes largely to Mrs. Boyd. Suppose she had died without +this—this explanation?”</p> + +<p>“Even she understood that you did not belong in her walk of life. She +saw the difference and that made her feel she might have deprived you of +something better, that she could not give you.”</p> + +<p>That was true enough. But just now she was Lilian Boyd and angry, though +she could not satisfy herself that she had a perfect right to this +unreasonableness. So she made no reply.</p> + +<p>“Oh, Marguerite, don’t be vexed with me. We shall not see each other for +a long while, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_261" id="pg_261">261</a></span>and I want to carry away with me the knowledge that you +are very happy in your new home. You will have so many pleasures, +interests; you will be loved; oh, you must be loving, as well. Let the +past go as a strange dream.”</p> + +<p>“It can never be a dream to me,” she returned, decisively. “A thing you +have lived through is stamped on your brain. I would not, if I could, +dismiss it.”</p> + +<p>“Then I think that other love and care will make as deep an impression +on your mind. Good-night, my dear sister, and best wishes for a happy +tomorrow.”</p> + +<p>He kissed her fondly and turned away. She looked after him with a +swelling heart.</p> + +<p>When the door was opened, she flew up to her room and girl fashion, went +straight to the mirror. Generally she had very little color, now her +cheeks bloomed like roses and her eyes were brilliant, something more, a +light she had never seen in them; and, yes, her scarlet lips were shut, +with dimples in the corners. Then she laughed, half in anger, half in a +mood she had never known before, it was compounded of so many varieties.</p> + +<p>At Laconia, she had known several pretty school girls but they had +golden hair and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_262" id="pg_262">262</a></span>lovely blue eyes. It was odd, but she had always liked +the word cerulean so much. And her eyes were almost black when anything +moved her deeply. She had not thought much of beauty applied to herself.</p> + +<p>“I am glad we don’t look alike,” she mused. “I am willing to be plainer, +and if I had some great gift—perhaps my voice might be cultivated. But +I mean never to be ashamed of that past life. Oh, what would Willard say +if he knew I had carried bundles back and forth and done errands for the +dressmaker! Well I must keep that part locked in my own heart. Poor +mamma Boyd, I’m glad you never understood the difference. I wish I had +loved you better.”</p> + +<p>She bathed her face and took off her cloth dress, putting on one of some +light material Mrs. Barrington had given her awhile before. Then she +went down stairs just as the summons for dinner sounded. Mrs. Barrington +met her in the hall with a smile.</p> + +<p>“Did you have a nice day? And did your brother find you?”</p> + +<p>“Yes, I enjoyed it very much. And—we walked back together. He leaves on +Wednesday night.”</p> + +<p>“And is very sorry to go. He is so interested <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_263" id="pg_263">263</a></span>in you. I wish he could +remain longer, but he has the true sailor heart.”</p> + +<p>Lilian felt suddenly ashamed of her anger. Of course the whole family +must look at it from that point of view, which was not hers. And having +a brother was such a new thing to her. She had not been thrown much with +boys. Her books had been her dearest companions.</p> + +<p>They all went to the drawing room afterward and had a pleasant talk +about the day and its duties. It softened Lilian’s heart strangely. +After that some almost divine music, it seemed to her, and her thoughts +were lifted above distracting reflections.</p> + +<p>The girls sang also. Several of them had very good voices but the best +singers were away. Lilian was not afraid tonight, but let her voice +swell out as she had in church this morning, and it surprised even +herself.</p> + +<p>When they said good-night to each other Mr. Barrington led her to her +own pretty sitting room.</p> + +<p>“I have hardly seen you today,” she began, “and though your change will +not separate us altogether and is so immeasurably to your advantage, I +want you to know that I had some plans for your future revolving <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_264" id="pg_264">264</a></span>in my +mind. I meant to have matters on a different basis when we began the new +term. I did not think Mrs. Boyd would live through the winter, and as +you know, I promised to care for you. You will make a fine linguist, and +that is quite a gift for a woman. Then I have been interested in your +voice. You sang with much power and beauty tonight. It is not the +ordinary girlish voice.”</p> + +<p>“Miss Trenham said it was a contralto. I don’t know the difference +between that and an alto. Of course, I sang in school at Laconia, and +took quite a part in the closing exercises. But no one seemed to +think—and I couldn’t manage it always—” pausing lest she might say too +much.</p> + +<p>“It wants cultivation, and I believe has some fine probabilities. I have +spoken to Mr. Reinhart about giving you private lessons in the new +term.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, how good you are! I could almost wish——” and she clasped the hand +nearest her.</p> + +<p>“No, don’t wish anything beyond what has happened. In spite of all the +love and tenderness lavished upon Mrs. Crawford, it was a continual +regret that she should have taken you on that ill-fated journey. +Charming as <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_265" id="pg_265">265</a></span>Zaidee is, she was always wondering what you would have +been like. I think you will not disappoint her. You have been in a +trying position for a girl of your ambition and temperament. I think you +might have accepted some proffers without much hurt to your pride, but +you know now you are on an equality with the best, and though many of +these distinctions are much to be regretted, we cannot change the world. +The change must be in ourselves, the grace and kindliness that shapes +the character to finer and higher issues. But if you had been Mrs. +Boyd’s daughter, I think there would have been a very promising future +before you. I know you would have tried your utmost to succeed in the +two lines I have indicated; and now they will be accomplishments. Mrs. +Crawford was a fine linguist and has brightened many an hour with +intellectual pursuits. I am more than glad that you will be so +companionable, but I cannot give up my interest in you, and I want you +to feel that you will be, in part, a daughter to me.”</p> + +<p>Lilian bent her head down on Mrs. Barrington’s shoulder and cried +softly, touched to the inmost heart by the affection she had hardly +dreamed she had won.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_266" id="pg_266">266</a></span>“There are no quite perfect lives even if there is a great deal of +love,” the lady continued. “We learn to limit our wants and expectations +by what others have to give us, and it is by loving that we learn to +live truly, though many shrines get despoiled of ideals as we go along +in youth; but as we retrace our steps with years and experience we find +God has put something better in them. I want you to come to me with any +difficulty that can be confided outside of the family circle. But your +mother must be your best friend; and now, dear, good-night.”</p> + +<p>Lilian returned the kiss, but her heart was too full for words. Tomorrow +she would belong somewhere else, have new duties. Oh, could she take +them up in the right spirit?</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_267" id="pg_267">267</a></span> +<a name="YOUR_TRUE_HOME_6424" id="YOUR_TRUE_HOME_6424"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XV</h2> +<h3>YOUR TRUE HOME</h3> +</div> + +<p>Marguerite Crawford felt that she had been truly changed to some other +personality when the carriage stopped under the broad <i>porte cochere</i>, +and the driver opened the door with a bow for his master. There had been +a slight fall of snow in the night that had wrapped every post and every +tree in a mantle of jewels, and now the sun came out gorgeously, sending +golden rays over the dappled sky of blue and white.</p> + +<p>Her father handed her out. Willard ran down the wide steps taking both +her hands in his and kissing her fondly. A passion of regret flooded +her.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” in a broken tone. “I was rude and ungenerous to you yesterday. I +am sorry—”</p> + +<p>“We will let that go, I knew you would regret it. I tried to look at it +from your point of view, and I think you couldn’t resemble mother so +much in looks and not in character.”</p> + +<p>Her father took her other arm. “Welcome home, my dear daughter,” he +exclaimed. “All our years together will prove how glad we are to have +you.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_268" id="pg_268">268</a></span>The hall was like a beautiful larger room, with pictures and statuary +and some elegant vases that would have dwarfed a smaller space.</p> + +<p>“This is my sister, Miss Crawford—Aunt Kate, to you always; who has +been like a mother to my children—”</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate bent over from her tallness and gave her a perfunctory kiss. +Zay clasped both arms around her.</p> + +<p>“Oh, isn’t it queer,” with a musical ripple. “You certainly were a +princess in disguise at school, and some of the girls said you were my +double to tease me; but I don’t think we look very much alike; do you, +papa?”</p> + +<p>She raised her radiant face with the pearly complexion, bewitching mouth +and shining eyes. Marguerite looked rather pale and cold with the +strangeness.</p> + +<p>Then they went up to the mother’s room, but Aunt Kate paused at the door +and turned in another direction. Zay and Willard followed her. +Marguerite went to her mother’s arms and for many seconds neither spoke.</p> + +<p>“What a strange, long waiting without any hope,” said the father at +length. “I have often thought what Marguerite would be like if she had +lived, and it always was impressed upon <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_269" id="pg_269">269</a></span>me that she would be like her +mother. If I could have wished it—”</p> + +<p>The child raised her head. The dark lashes were beaded with tears.</p> + +<p>“I am sorry not to be as beautiful,” she said, with great humility. “I +must make up any deficiency by my love and devotion. Oh, it seems as if +I had gone into some divine country when love filled the very +atmosphere.”</p> + +<p>She held out her hand to her father who crushed it in a tender clasp.</p> + +<p>“But you are looking pale and weary, mother.” What a sweet word it was +to say when it was true.</p> + +<p>“I have had a great deal of excitement these last few days, then the +nurse had to go away to a more serious case, but I have tried to obey +her injunctions,” smiling a little. “Probably I shall never be very +robust again, but nothing like this will try nerves. I think I have +stood it exceedingly well,” glancing up at her husband. “I was very +quiet all day yesterday, but I could not help dreaming of the years to +come——”</p> + +<p>“I hope God will give me strength to make them happy. Oh, I want to give +you the best of love and service and never pain you by any lack. For you +<i>are</i> the mother I have longed <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_270" id="pg_270">270</a></span>for, who could capture and fill my +desires. I would like to work for you——”</p> + +<p>“My dear, if you could be so devoted to the mother who was not your +ideal and could not understand your thoughts and feelings, I shall try +to come nearer and fill your whole heart, sympathize with your +aspirations. I shall be glad to listen to them. Oh, my child, if you had +been dull and coarse, but you simply could not have been, and this Mrs. +Boyd must have had a certain refinement. I appreciate her more every day +as I think it over.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I thank you for that. It seems to me that I must have been willful +at times; but I wanted to take her out of that narrow round as well as +myself. I felt so certain I could do it after we came to Mrs. +Barrington’s. She understood my aims.”</p> + +<p>“You fell into good hands. Oh, how many times we shall talk this over, +for I want to know all the incidents of these years we have been apart. +When I have lived them with you, I shall feel more truly still that I am +your mother. And now are you not a little curious about your new home?”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford rose with her arm about the girl, and Marguerite glanced +about the room. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_271" id="pg_271">271</a></span>It was exquisitely appointed. The second story rooms +were ranged about an oval that gave a picturesque aspect. This and the +sleeping rooms were toward the east; Mrs. Crawford had a passion for +sunrise. On one side was Zay’s room, adjoining it Aunt Kate’s. Opposite, +two guest rooms with bath and closets. It all seemed like some lovely +description she had read of in books. Her girl’s heart and the refined +tastes that had been her birthright seemed to leap for joy. Was she +really to live amid all this loveliness!</p> + +<p>“We talked of your room on Friday. We couldn’t take Zay away from Aunt +Kate to put you two together. Willard had this room next to my sitting +room, when he came home on vacations; sometimes, both boys; they are +very fond of each other. So he proposed his should be yours and had +everything taken out and the walls tinted afresh. But we couldn’t order +new furniture at once, so we brought this from one of the guest +chambers. Some day you may choose for yourself. He took out the real +boys’ pictures except ‘Night and Morning’ which are great favorites of +his and his two bookcases. In one he has left all his poets; at heart, +he is a rather romantic fellow. And the other you must fill up to your +liking.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_272" id="pg_272">272</a></span>“Oh, how could he be so kind to me, when—” and Marguerite swallowed +over a great sob.</p> + +<p>“He is so glad for me. And he thinks it is truly a gift of Providence +that you should come, now that he is going away. Three years! Yet I have +waited so many years for these great blessings; prayed for them, if +one’s ardent wish is a prayer.”</p> + +<p>“Did you ever pray for me?” asked Marguerite in a low awed tone.</p> + +<p>“I prayed that if I died I should find you in that beautiful other +country. And sometimes I almost believed I should find you here. +Invalids have curious fancies almost like visions. Perhaps God gave me +the hope to enable me to endure the suffering and to be comparatively +well again and to have you—”</p> + +<p>There was the summons to luncheon. The Major came for his wife, Willard +met his sister in the hall. The dining room was perfectly appointed, +with stands of flowers and ferns that made almost a garden of it. A few +blossoms were laid beside each one’s plate. The butler seated them +noiselessly. Aunt Kate was at the head of the table; she had kept the +place so long that Mrs. Crawford would not hear of any change. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_273" id="pg_273">273</a></span>She sat +at the right of her husband, Marguerite at the left; Jay and Willard +were opposite.</p> + +<p>Marguerite <i>was</i> nervous, but she did just as the others. She felt that +Aunt Kate’s sharp eyes were upon her. Nearly always, she and her mother +had taken their meals together; on Sunday, specially invited to dine +with Mrs. Barrington and Miss Arran. Mrs. Boyd shrank from these +occasions but the girl seemed guiding her with an almost imperceptible +grace.</p> + +<p>And although the luncheon came in courses it was not ornate. Marguerite +began to feel quite at ease. There was some bright talk, but she did not +join that, only now and then answering when her father appealed to her. +But every moment she felt more at home.</p> + +<p>When they rose Willard took her arm.</p> + +<p>“You must examine your new home,” he began, laughingly. “If you +shouldn’t like it—”</p> + +<p>“I’d deserve to be banished to Laconia and live in an atmosphere of soot +and dust and all manner of noises,” she answered, brightly.</p> + +<p>“This is the drawing room. In my grandmother’s time they used to have +famous <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_274" id="pg_274">274</a></span>gatherings. Uncle Reginald was a great society man, and Aunt +Kate quite a belle, but the Madam as she was called, spent her money +lavishly. That was in her own right. Much of this furniture came from +abroad. But I will do her the justice to say that she did not despise +the old Crawford heirlooms that were handsome. Some of them are two +centuries old, when people loved to carve and ornament and never +compared their time with money. Uncle Reginald was very handsome in his +early days and her favorite. Father went to West Point.”</p> + +<p>The room was certainly full of choice belongings. At the end, a full +length portrait of Madame Crawford, painted by a famous French artist +during one of her visits to Paris. The satin and velvet of her gown +looked real and her laces were magnificently done. She <i>was</i> handsome +and set them off beautifully. A string of sapphires encircled her throat +and from it depended three pendants of diamonds so skilfully done that +in certain lights they emitted rays. A handsome woman, truly, but proud +and haughty.</p> + +<p>“She only wanted one son so that the Crawford estate need not be +divided. She was not in favor of large families, while father <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_275" id="pg_275">275</a></span>would +have been glad of at least half a dozen. So you may judge how delighted +he is to have you. This is the library. There is a small fortune in the +books. Great-grandfather Crawford was an eager collector. Father has +been offered big prices for some of the rare editions.”</p> + +<p>At the farther end of the library there were wide glass doors that +opened into a conservatory, where the choicest flowers were kept, and +curious ferns. Just beyond was the propagating room and where the +tired-out bloomers were put for recuperation.</p> + +<p>Marguerite was speechless with admiration. She glanced up with a lovely +smile and her dark eyes were lustrous. “Oh,” she murmured, with a long +sigh, “I never saw anything so lovely! And that I should have come here +to live—”</p> + +<p>“Our next door neighbors have quite as much beauty, only it is rather +more modern. But their conservatory is magnificent. Such a show of +orchids is unusual. But Mount Morris is a rather aristocratic place, +that is not wholly given over to fashion, but where people have lovely +things to enjoy and are not trying to distance each other unless it is +in the matter of choice flowers,” and he <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_276" id="pg_276">276</a></span>laughed. “Mother is so fond of +them.”</p> + +<p>She thought she could linger there all the remainder of the day, but +presently Willard turned and they retraced their steps. Major Crawford +stood in the hall.</p> + +<p>“Shall we go for our walk, Willard?” he asked. “I think mother would +like Marguerite.”</p> + +<p>She made a pretty inclination of the head and went up stairs feeling as +if she was in fairyland. Mrs. Crawford lay on the lounge with a +beautiful Persian wrap thrown over her.</p> + +<p>“Will you come and read to me?” she asked in a winsome tone. “I want to +hear your voice in poetry; Mrs. Barrington said you were a fine reader. +I hope you love verse. The dainty little ones are a great pleasure to +me, fugitive verses, as they are called. They have soothed many a +painful hour.”</p> + +<p>“Are you very tired?” Marguerite bent over and kissed her.</p> + +<p>“No, my dear, only this is part of my German doctor’s regimen. He sent a +nurse home with me, and last week she went back to assist him with a +peculiar case; and I have certain directions to follow, which I obey, +implicitly. One is to take a rest after luncheon. Then, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_277" id="pg_277">277</a></span>I like to be +read to. I am something of a spoiled child, you see.”</p> + +<p>“I shall be glad to go on with the spoiling,” the girl said in a sweet, +earnest tone. “I want to do all I can to make you happy—to make up for +the years when you did not have me.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite’s eyes were lustrous with deep feeling. Her words went to the +mother’s heart.</p> + +<p>“Let me see—find ‘In Memoriam.’ How many times in the last few days I +have said over to myself:</p> + +<p style="text-align:left; margin-left:2em">“If one should bring me this report<br /> +That thou hads’t touched the land today,<br /> +And I went down unto the quay,<br /> +And found thee lying in the port,”</p> + +<p>Marguerite took the beautifully bound volume in her hand and it gave her +a thrill.</p> + +<p>“Some poems are adapted to this or that one’s voice, like songs. The +Major reads Browning and that is saved especially for him. Willard loves +Stevenson and Eugene Field’s children’s verses. Zaidee the light gay +caroling things, and those arch, sweet Irish poems. But your voice +sounded to me as if you loved Tennyson and Whittier.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_278" id="pg_278">278</a></span>“I have not had the opportunity of reading Tennyson very much, but I +thought the Christmas verses most beautiful. I hope I shall please you,” +hesitatingly.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford listened attentively. There was a depth and richness in +the voice, an impressive, penetrating emotion that betrayed the harmony +with the lines. And when she had finished that poem, she said in a low +tone:</p> + +<p>“Shall I go on?”</p> + +<p>“Yes,” replied the mother.</p> + +<p>It was so beautiful that Marguerite forgot herself in the poet’s deep +feeling—so human, so comforting—she could have read on until dusk, but +Mrs. Crawford turned presently.</p> + +<p>“I must not tire you for I shall want you to read to me often. Do you +sing? I suppose you have not begun to play?”</p> + +<p>“No, Mrs. Barrington thought I would, in the new term. And she also +thought my voice was—” Marguerite paused, afraid of being too +presuming.</p> + +<p>“Worth cultivating, was not that what she said? It is a contralto that +can express profound depths of feeling. I had it years ago and your +father was wild over it. He will be delighted. Zay’s voice is a light +soprano. She plays very well. Yes, you must take up music.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_279" id="pg_279">279</a></span>“Oh, mother, it doesn’t seem as if so many lovely things should come to +me!”</p> + +<p>“Why not, when you have been in the desert all these years?”</p> + +<p>They clasped each other in a fond embrace. Oh, was it really true that +she was a daughter of the house, that she had a right to the love and +care? Could she ever give enough to repay?</p> + +<p>There was a stir down stairs and some merry voices. Major Crawford +rejoined his wife presently.</p> + +<p>“The two Chichester girls to see if the children are sure to go to the +Van Ordens, though I think their eagerness is most for Will,” laughing. +“His gay time will soon be over. Zay’s as well. Next week school will +begin, and Marguerite must come under rules. The chief one is that there +is no frollicking until Friday evening, no holiday until Saturday.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I wish girls did not have to grow up so fast. Think how soon they +will be sixteen,” bemoaned the mother.</p> + +<p>“I kept another birthday,” said Marguerite. “I am glad to go back even +the few months.”</p> + +<p>“You look as if you were beginning to feel at <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_280" id="pg_280">280</a></span>home,” said her father. +“Oh, I hope we shall have many, many happy years together.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite’s heart was too full to reply. She looked at him with eyes +like her mother’s, only they were a little deeper.</p> + +<p>Zay came flying up stairs.</p> + +<p>“Have I neglected you all the afternoon? We found a bad rent in my +pretty frock and Aunt Kate had to change the skirt. Then I wanted to +write some letters and the days are so short.”</p> + +<p>She kissed her mother rapturously; then went and sat on her father’s +knee.</p> + +<p>“And the Chichesters want us to dinner tomorrow and a little dance +afterward. It is Will’s last nibble at pleasure. Oh, why didn’t you make +him choose some real business, you naughty father, so he could have +stayed at home like a respectable citizen.”</p> + +<p>“And had a sweetheart. Then what would you have done?”</p> + +<p>“Looked up a sweetheart also. Oh, must he go Wednesday night?”</p> + +<p>“Think what a nice long holiday he has had!”</p> + +<p>“And think of three desolate years!”</p> + +<p>“They may be more desolate for us than for him. But it was his choice.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_281" id="pg_281">281</a></span>He entered the room just then. Had Marguerite found any special +entertainment? What had Zay been doing?</p> + +<p>“Oh, writing letters. Marguerite be glad you have not forty dear friends +who are crying write, write all the time.”</p> + +<p>No there was only one person she had written to. That was Sally Weeks at +Laconia, and if Sally answered—well, she was lame on spelling, if she +had a good generous heart.</p> + +<p>Zay and her aunt had done something beside writing and mending the party +frock. They had discussed Marguerite.</p> + +<p>“Well,” Aunt Kate had said with a long and rather unwilling accent, “she +might have been worse. Her table manners are passable. I do suppose she +has picked up a good deal at Mrs. Barrington’s. But she has a rather +uncertain air, and we shall have to hunt her up some clothes. I must +talk to your mother about it.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, dear, what a fuss there will be at school; I wish it was all over! +I do wonder what Louie Howe will say! We had some talks—well, I could +see how some of the girls felt.”</p> + +<p>“I think that was very natural. I suppose she <i>was</i> presuming.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_282" id="pg_282">282</a></span>“No, she wasn’t,” returned Zay with heightened color. “I want to be +fair to her for she <i>is</i> my sister. I think I’d rather be an only +daughter, but father will be just as fond of me, I am sure. I don’t know +about the boys; but then Vincent won’t be home until next summer. I +suppose we’ll all go to West Point. Of course, I couldn’t well have +stayed with mother this afternoon, so I don’t mind her being there—”</p> + +<p>“Zay you are very generous and unsuspecting. I should be sorry to have +any influence undermine your love. You have been all to your mother.”</p> + +<p>“But I can’t be all now, I see that. Still I’ll have you, aunt Kate, and +I won’t give up my place in her heart. Oh, trust me to keep that.”</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate was anxious for her favorite and though she did not mean to be +ungenerous, she could not so cordially rejoice. If the girl had been +awkward or underbred, she could have taken her in hand with a good +grace. But she was not likely to ask anything of her.</p> + +<p>Dinner was a rather more elaborate meal. It did seen odd to wait for +some one to help to the smallest thing and she wondered how Mrs. Boyd +would feel to have some one <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_283" id="pg_283">283</a></span>standing at her back and anticipating her +wishes before they were hardly formulated. But there was a certain +dignity and pleasure in it with no jar or awkwardness. How did she come +to take to it naturally? She did not seem to feel embarrassed, and how +lovely the room looked with the lights and the still hanging Christmas +greens.</p> + +<p>When Zaidee came in to wish her mother good-night, she did indeed look +like a fairy being. Her frock was some soft, diaphanous stuff over a +pale green slip, some of her curls were tied up high on her head and the +ribbon and that of her sash matched. Three strings of pearl beads were +about her white throat. Marguerite smiled to herself—Miss Nevins would +call that very poor party attire.</p> + +<p>“Don’t stay late,” Major Crawford said to his son.</p> + +<p>“Oh, we couldn’t,” declared Zay laughing. “It’s a school girls’ ‘Small +and early.’ We begin at eight and the musicians depart at ten and we go +to refreshments, and by eleven,</p> + +<p style="text-align:left; margin-left:2em">“‘The lights are fled the music dead,<br /> +And all of us departed.’”</p> + +<p>“That is just as it should be,” declared aunt Kate, “if you wish to keep +roses and bright eyes for pleasure later on.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_284" id="pg_284">284</a></span>Zay kissed her parents. Marguerite was sitting a little out of range, +but Willard bent over and gave her a tender good-night. Then aunt Kate +wrapped her niece in a lovely evening cloak trimmed with white fox and +drew the hood up carefully, and the carriage soon whisked them to their +destination.</p> + +<p>“Oh, how beautiful she looks!” Marguerite exclaimed involuntarily.</p> + +<p>The mother smiled tenderly.</p> + +<p>“Zaidee has grown up with her beauty,” said the father. “I used to be +afraid aunt Kate would spoil her and lead her to think beauty was the +great thing to strive for, but she takes it as a matter of course. I +hope she will be as indifferent about it when she is grown to womanhood, +for nothing destroys the charm like that ultraconsciousness and the bid +for admiration. So many things beside beauty of feature go to make up +the charm of an interesting woman.”</p> + +<p>She must be interesting, Marguerite thought. There were so many +delightful qualities one could cultivate. Mrs. Barrington was charming, +and Miss Arran had so many nice quiet ways, that she had insensibly +copied; her low toned voice, her never seeming to hurry and yet going +about any matter as if it was <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_285" id="pg_285">285</a></span>the first thing to be done; her little +orderly methods. She kept her mother’s room neat, she put the books back +in their places; there was a cluster of autumn leaves in a vase, or a +sprig of spruce or cedar that for a long while would put forth new +leaves. She was very glad now that she had taken so much pains. Was she +rather unpolished when they had first come from Laconia. But her circle +there was so different.</p> + +<p>She told over only the best of it when her father asked about her life +there. Wasn’t this what Willard had meant and she had resented? She +would try not to be ashamed of the poor and plain living since it was +the best Mrs. Boyd could give; but she knew even then she was longing +and planning for something better.</p> + +<p>And a room like this for her very own! She liked it better because her +very own brother had planned it for her. She looked over some of the +books and above his name he had written—“For my Sister Marguerite.” And +she was glad with a sense of mystery she did not care to fathom that her +mother’s room was between her and Zaidee’s.</p> + +<p>What a long day it had been. Yet in a certain sense happy, as happy as +any strange beautiful place with a father and mother,—the <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_286" id="pg_286">286</a></span>latter she +had not even dreamed of when she had thought a father might be found. +Oh, she must be very grateful to God for sending her here where the +tangle could be resolved in such an honorable manner and she must try to +be worthy of all the love lavished upon her. The whole world broadened +and she was part of the higher life. She was looking up to the hill tops +where human endeavors must aspire even though there were failures, and +to the west over beyond the land of eternal love and golden fruition.</p> + +<hr class="major" /> +<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; padding-top: 1em; padding-bottom: 1em"> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_287" id="pg_287">287</a></span> +<a name="OUT_OF_HER_LOYALTY_6892" id="OUT_OF_HER_LOYALTY_6892"></a> +<h2>CHAPTER XVI</h2> +<h3>OUT OF HER LOYALTY</h3> +</div> + +<p>Mrs. Van Orden’s residence was large and handsome and a-light from top +to bottom. There were three daughters from seventeen to thirteen. They +had always been very friendly with the Crawfords, and this gathering was +a good deal in honor of the young midshipman who was so soon to go on +his first cruise of three years.</p> + +<p>The girls in the dressing room hovered about Zay. Wasn’t it wonderful +that her sister had been found and living here all these months? Why it +was just like a story!</p> + +<p>“A princess in disguise,” laughed Zay. “That was what I called her.”</p> + +<p>“And is she—does she look like you?”</p> + +<p>“No, although we are twins you can easily tell us apart. She is taller; +I think she will be like mother. Her hair is—well a sort of bronzy +light brown, and her eyes are such a dark blue that you might mistake +them for black, and she’s rather grave; not such a fly-away as I am. Of +course, you know, we have <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_288" id="pg_288">288</a></span>only had her one day though the others went +over to Mrs. Barrington’s to see her.”</p> + +<p>“And wasn’t she something there,” asked a girl.</p> + +<p>“She was going to study for a teacher. Mrs. Barrington expected to keep +her after her—well, I suppose we might call it a foster-mother, died. +You see Mrs. Boyd thought the nurse mamma had was her real mother and +she felt so sorry for the baby believing the true mother had been +killed.”</p> + +<p>“Why it is a real romance.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee meant to put it on a right foundation. At school once she had, in +a way, stood up for her when Louie Howe tried to establish a +distinction. So why shouldn’t she now, and always, even if she had not +taken Marguerite cordially to her heart. No one outside should offer a +slight.</p> + +<p>“And you believe it is all true—”</p> + +<p>“Well, I think Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith and Mrs. Barrington +couldn’t all be deceived. You see, this Mrs. Boyd never knew she +belonged to us, but she thought there might be a father somewhere; and +the account of the accident tallied; there were only two babies on the +train and one was killed. Mrs. Boyd knew the baby she took <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_289" id="pg_289">289</a></span>was not +hers. So it is beyond any doubt.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee Crawford looked brave and beautiful and her voice would have +carried conviction anywhere, as well as disarming criticism.</p> + +<p>“Oh, you <i>are</i> a darling!” and two or three of the girls kissed her +rapturously.</p> + +<p>“I wouldn’t be without a sister for all the world,” declared Evelyn Van +Orden, the middle one of the three girls.</p> + +<p>The musicians were tuning up. Several of the young gentlemen stood in +the hall waiting. Mrs. Van Orden summoned them down.</p> + +<p>It was a gay young people’s party and numerous were the regrets that +Willard Crawford was to be gone for so long.</p> + +<p>“But you’ll have Vincent all next summer,” he said. “And there is no +scarcity of other young fellows.”</p> + +<p>“But they go away, as well. Unless they have a fortune they cannot +afford to stay at home.”</p> + +<p>“And I have all mine to make,” he returned, with mock seriousness.</p> + +<p>It was true that at ten the music stopped, but there was some gay +chatting over the refreshments and then the carriages began to come. +They all expressed their pleasure <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_290" id="pg_290">290</a></span>to their hostess. Willard insisted +that they should take home two or three of the girls, and they were +nothing loth.</p> + +<p>“But, you see, Zay is quite certain she owns him, and she gave him about +every other dance,” said Sophie Lawrence, as she stood on the steps with +her sister.</p> + +<p>When they were alone Willard reached over and took his sister’s hand in +a warm clasp.</p> + +<p>“Zay, I heard your fine defense for Marguerite. I was waiting at the +head of the stairs. I suppose for awhile there will be some gossip and +wondering, but there never can be any doubt of the truth. I think she is +going to make a fine and admirable woman, and I hope you two will love +each other as Vin and I always have.”</p> + +<p>“You can’t love anyone offhand. Such a love would not be worth having, +and if she wins you away from me—”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Zay, silly child! No one can take your place in the heart of one of +us.”</p> + +<p>“I’m not sure.” Zay was crying then.</p> + +<p>“You will be sure in the years to come. For mother’s sake let us be a +united family. You can never be crowded out. And I think the more love +one gives, the more one gets in return.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_291" id="pg_291">291</a></span>The Major was waiting for them and gave them a tender good-night.</p> + +<p>They were all busy the next day in consultations. A package of clothing +came over from Barrington house that Miss Arran had put in order for +Marguerite, much of it being gifts from Mrs. Barrington, accompanied +with the kindliest and most delicate note. Aunt Kate had fussed a little +about the child not having anything fit to wear.</p> + +<p>“Mrs. Barrington is right, it is best not to make too great a change, +though I think Marguerite’s tastes are very simple. Zay, I fancy, has +had rather too much, but she is not as vain of her clothes as of her +beauty, and she is a dear, sweet child. Aunt Kate, we all owe you so +much, and we will see how Marguerite develops.”</p> + +<p>Miss Crawford was somewhat mollified, but she returned—“Zay must not be +crowded out of her mother’s heart.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, there is no fear of that. If we had the six we planned for I think +none of them would complain. Mother love is elastic.”</p> + +<p>Willard and Zay were much engrossed making farewell calls. He was very +bright and hopeful, picturing the points of interest he should see and +the experience he should gain. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_292" id="pg_292">292</a></span>And there would be letters. Three years +would pass rapidly. He stipulated that the girls should not be married +until his return.</p> + +<p>“We have had such a nice long vacation with you,” said his mother, “and +we must comfort ourselves with that; and I may come over to some port +with the girls if you are to stay long enough. I feel as if I was just +beginning to live a new life. Think, there have been times when I hardly +expected to see one of you again. Now I am full of hope.”</p> + +<p>“My blessed mother!”</p> + +<p>He would write when he reached Washington and tell them what the plans +were. If they were not quite ready Zay and his father might come on for +a few days’ visit.</p> + +<p>Zay kissed her mother and went to her room where she gave way to a +violent fit of weeping.</p> + +<p>“I ought to go to your mother,” said Aunt Kate. Major Crawford had gone +to the station with his son.</p> + +<p>“Oh, no, stay with me, she will have Marguerite. Oh, if Willard never +never should come back! So many accidents happen,” she sobbed.</p> + +<p>“Don’t let us think of that; so many come home safely. Oh, my child, try +to be a little <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_293" id="pg_293">293</a></span>tranquil. He is here in the country yet and will not go +away for several days. Summon your fortitude for the sake of the +others.”</p> + +<p>“No one loves him as I do,” she moaned.</p> + +<p>“I love him dearly. You children have been like my own, I have had so +much of the care of you.”</p> + +<p>“But I love him so dearly, and if he should get weaned away! Why, I +should be heartbroken!”</p> + +<p>“My dear!” Aunt Kate sat on the side of the bed, bathed her head with +fragrant water and comforted her with endearing terms until she grew +tranquil and finally fell asleep.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford had seated herself on the couch and motioned Marguerite +beside her.</p> + +<p>“My dear daughter,” she said, steadying her voice, “heaven only knows +how glad I am to have you and we must comfort one another. I had dreaded +Willard going, but God has been good to me and sent you just when I +needed you most. We shall be very happy in each other’s society, I +foresee. You will be my girl as Zay is Aunt Kate’s. Willard is so +interested in you, and when it is a little pleasanter we will go driving +together. I like the byways and the nooks and the wild flowers. Oh, do +you think you could learn to <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_294" id="pg_294">294</a></span>ride? You would not be afraid! Father is +so fond of it. Oh, the rides we used to have in our early life!”</p> + +<p>Marguerite’s eyes lighted with eager pleasure. “Oh, I should like it,” +she returned, earnestly.</p> + +<p>“And he is so fond of it. It seems as if he had given up so many things +for me. I used to go out to the Stations with him and live in the Forts. +What magnificent gallops we have had. I don’t wonder the boys were +imbued with the love of military life, their father was such an ardent +soldier. We were very happy with our boys but we <i>did</i> want a daughter. +I was so proud of the twins, perhaps too proud. Yet I do not think we +can love these choice gifts of God too much, so long as we are grateful +to the giver. Then there came all the sorrowful years. For a long while +they thought I never would walk again. The Major resigned from the army +and I know it was a sore cross to him. But we took much pleasure in +educating our boys, and Zay was such a bright, winsome little thing. Her +passion is dancing and being merry. She loves to go out driving but I +think she is afraid of managing a horse. Her father tried to train her a +little but she cried and begged off, <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_295" id="pg_295">295</a></span>and the boys have been away so +much. Oh, it will give him the greatest pleasure.”</p> + +<p>“And I want to devote my life to your happiness to make up for the years +when you did not have me. You must train me in your ways, you must tell +me what he likes best.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, my darling!”</p> + +<p>Major Crawford found them in a close embrace when he returned.</p> + +<p>“Oh,” the wife began, eagerly, “we have been planning some pleasures so +we shall not feel Willard’s loss too keenly. You must teach Marguerite +to ride and to play chess and we will read the old poets. Some of them +are so charming. Why it will seem as if we had gone in an enchanted +country—the Forest of Arden.”</p> + +<p>How bright and smiling she was! He kissed her and then sat down on the +other side of Marguerite. He had been afraid he would find her in sore +need of comfort.</p> + +<p>Aunt Kate came in presently.</p> + +<p>“Zaidee has fallen asleep,” she said. “She was completely unnerved by +the parting. Her feelings are so strong, her love has such depths to it, +so I have been soothing her to comparative tranquility. You will not +miss this one good-night.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_296" id="pg_296">296</a></span>“We shall all miss the boy very much, and he will return to us a man of +full stature. I think we can trust him to return as true and honorable +as when he went away. Yes, he and Zaidee have been together a great deal +this last six months and she will miss him sorely.”</p> + +<p>“But there will be school and new interests,” said the mother. “We must +see Mrs. Barrington and make some future arrangements. Why in May the +girls will be sixteen!”</p> + +<p>“Sixteen!” re-echoed their father. “Let us have them set back.”</p> + +<p>“Oh no,” cried Marguerite, “rather let us stay just here. I should like +to make two days of every one. I am afraid no day will be long enough.”</p> + +<p>Miss Crawford turned away. The others resumed their talk and she heard +their joyous voices. “Poor Zay! Poor Willard!” she said, under her +breath.</p> + +<p>When she went to her room and it was quite late the gas was lighted, her +bed been put in the most inviting order and there lay a pretty +nightdress with its garniture. She colored with a thrill of pleasure. +Then she turned and surveyed herself in the glass. Her eyes had a +luminous softness, there was <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_297" id="pg_297">297</a></span>a faint pink in her cheeks and her lips +had lost their compression, were absolutely shaped into a smile. If she +<i>could</i> grow prettier! But her parents loved her. She knew that and it +filled her with joy.</p> + +<p>Zaidee was bright as usual the next morning and hovered about her father +in a tender manner. “By this time Willard was in Washington. When would +he know his time of sailing?”</p> + +<p>“I believe the vessel is at Fortress Monroe; we will hear soon.”</p> + +<p>“Aunt Kate we ought to make some calls today and Margie Putnam has a tea +this afternoon, just an informal little affair. Her cousin has come from +Providence, I believe, and will try to get in at Mrs. Barrington’s. I +should think there would be lovely schools in Providence.”</p> + +<p>“I want to go over to Mrs. Barrington’s this morning,” said Mrs. +Crawford, “about ten; will you order the carriage?” to her husband.</p> + +<p>Then she asked the maid to unpack a box that they had brought home on +their last journey. There were many beautiful materials. They did seem +extravagant at the time, but she was rather glad now.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_298" id="pg_298">298</a></span>“Marguerite, I wonder if you could wear these things. This green is +lovely.” It was a cloth that had the sheen of satin. She held it up to +the young girl. Why, yes—it would make a handsome winter suit trimmed +with fur. And this sort of lavender gray—it is a favorite color of +mine. “We will see the dressmaker this morning.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite flushed and glancing up smiled gratefully, though she could +not trust her voice to speak.</p> + +<p>“Oh, it will be delightful for me to have a young girl to dress—a +daughter. Perhaps, I shall be a foolish mother, but Aunt Kate has always +looked after Zay’s attire. I believe I was not much interested in +clothes, but now I shall be and I have so many pretty things I shall +never wear again. Zay is overburdened now,” laughing softly, “and Aunt +Kate will dower her. Oh, Marguerite, I am so glad to have you! It has +given a new impetus to my life,” and she held the girl to her heart.</p> + +<p>It was a bright morning, cold, but with no perceptible wind. The trees +were outlined against the blue sky, where there was scarcely a drift of +white floating about. The evergreen about the lawns made it look less +like winter and here and there a conservatory <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_299" id="pg_299">299</a></span>showed brilliant bloom. +How beautiful the town was even in the winter.</p> + +<p>There were two streets given over to business in one of which a trolley +line was allowed, largely for the convenience of the outlying +settlements. There really were some very nice stores. There was a fine +music hall used for lectures and now and then a play found its way +thither. Some seven miles distant was a thriving city.</p> + +<p>The carriage paused at a fine residence with just a nameplate on the +door. They were ushered into a handsome parlor and in a few moments +Madam came sweeping down the broad stairway, her silken gown making a +soft swish on the polished floor. She was surprised and delighted to see +Mrs. Crawford, who introduced her daughter and soon stated her errand. +The green was to be a walking suit for Miss Marguerite and trimmed with +whatever fur would be considered most appropriate. The lavender would be +a sort of dinner and general-utility dress and ornamented with some +beautiful Persian embroidery that had been brought from abroad; one of +Aunt Kate’s bargains.</p> + +<p>When it was all settled the forewoman was called, who ushered Marguerite +upstairs into <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_300" id="pg_300">300</a></span>the fitting room where two tall mirrors gave the place +twice the size. There were measurements and discussions but the fitter +was horrified to learn that the young girl had never worn corsets.</p> + +<p>“Still she has a fine figure. You will make a larger woman than your +sister, indeed, you <i>do</i> favor your mother. It is like a miracle to see +Mrs. Crawford going about without any aid. She had such a splendid +physique until that horrible accident. How overjoyed they must feel that +you escaped.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite quietly admitted that and presently she was returned to her +mother.</p> + +<p>“We might have sent for them, but I thought you wouldn’t mind, and I +should have had to explain it all to Aunt Kate. Why, I feel as if I had +run away on some secret expedition. Do I look guilty?” and she laughed +softly. “You are to be my girl you know. Oh, I hope you wont think me +exigent? I can’t endure fussiness, and I do believe that I have given in +to Zay’s desires when I did not think them wise or necessary, rather +than have any discussion. But Aunt Kate loves her so and she has been so +good to me.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Barrington was delighted to see them. While the two ladies +discussed studies and <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_301" id="pg_301">301</a></span>future plans, Marguerite ran through to the study +where the left-over scholars were arranging a little play they were to +amuse themselves with that afternoon. But Miss Nevins uttered a shriek +of delight and nearly toppled her over in an exuberant embrace.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear Miss Boyd—Crawford, I mean, will we get used to the new +name! Isn’t it all splendid! And to be so rich and to belong to a first +class family! It <i>does</i> make a difference. I’ve been writing to mamma +all about it. It ought to be put in a book. But I liked you so from the +very first, and you were so good to me. But the girls kept hectoring me +and saying mamma wouldn’t approve. She’s very particular about the +friends I make, because I shall go in the best society when I get +introduced. I think papa will give me a ball. It is real stylish to have +it at Sherry’s. And I want you and your sister; only you ought to look +more alike, being twins; I’m just as glad as if something grand had +happened to me. And your father ought to give you a splendid party at +Crawford House. I suppose it is very fine and all that.”</p> + +<p>Her face was in a glow and her dull brown eyes had a glint in them that +improved them very much.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_302" id="pg_302">302</a></span>“I am just the same as when I was Lilian Boyd,” she began. But Alice +interrupted—“Oh, no, you’re not, and you will soon find it out. It’s +all right, too. Rich people <i>do</i> have more chances, and seeing the world +and mixing with high up style gives you an air. Why you couldn’t imagine +that plain little Mrs. Boyd with her meek air going to dinners and +balls, and she never could have earned money enough to dress any. That’s +what tells. And when you can’t go into society or meet nice people but +just stay at home and work or teach—what fun is there in life? Why I’d +rather be dead.”</p> + +<p>“I should want to be alive even if I were Lilian Boyd. I think it is a +grand world, and there is so much happening all the time. And I don’t +care so much about being rich—”</p> + +<p>“But you <i>will</i> and your mother is so lovely. Major Crawford looks +rather stern and that handsome young man—what a pity he’s to follow the +sea, unless he gets to be an Admiral, and then he’ll have to be quite +old. I’d rather be at West Point. Oh, I wish I had a brother.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite looked pityingly at the silly girl. Then she asked about the +play. Miss Nevins had been to the theatre and wanted <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_303" id="pg_303">303</a></span>to remodel the +simple little story, and there had been some warm arguments.</p> + +<p>“I must go and see Miss Arran.” There was no use disputing proprieties +with the overwise girl. But she hoped they had all begun a Happy New +Year.</p> + +<p>Alice followed her into the hall. “You are coming back to school and now +we can be real good friends. Oh, I just love you and I’m so glad all +this happened to you.” Before Marguerite could evade it she had given +her a rapturous kiss which the girl rubbed off an instant later.</p> + +<p>Miss Arran was truly glad to see her and they exchanged warm wishes.</p> + +<p>“We have a new caretaker, quite a young woman, but I do not take a real +fancy to her. Your mother, oh, excuse me saying that—was so neat and +particular and did every thing so well.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite smiled. She had often added touches of order and neatness, +and kept the room tidy with a taste that never appealed to Mrs. Boyd. +Though, perhaps, it had in her earlier years. The young girl could +understand now, how gradually she had failed.</p> + +<p>And there was Mrs. Dane with her cordial grasp and the heartiness of her +greeting. <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_304" id="pg_304">304</a></span>Whatever distrust she might have had had vanished.</p> + +<p>“We are so glad to have you back again,” she exclaimed, “and such a +bright future opening before you, though I must have given you the same +respect if you had been here teaching. Mrs. Barrington doesn’t often +take such a fancy to anyone. She did from the very first, and though +you’ll find the money and position will make a difference in some +quarters, it never would have with her.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, I am sure of that,” responded the girl earnestly.</p> + +<p>The two ladies had settled about the studies and the music and Mrs. +Barrington explained a little plan. All the girls would be in by +Saturday and she thought it would be well to introduce Marguerite in her +new circumstances. She would, therefore, give a little dinner at which +the sisters should be the guests of honor. That would prevent any gossip +or comment and give Marguerite that home feeling with the other +students. Mrs. Crawford assented cordially.</p> + +<p>“And now, we must go or we will be late for lunch. I can never thank you +enough for your kindly interest in my dear girl when she came to you an +unknown stranger and if <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_305" id="pg_305">305</a></span>anything should happen to me, for I have +wondered if one could be so happy and enjoy it for long, I should want +you always to be her friend.”</p> + +<p>“You may depend upon that, but the good days are only the outgrowth of +patiently borne bad ones; beauty for ashes.”</p> + +<p>Mrs. Crawford was very bright at luncheon. She announced to Zaidee Mrs. +Harrington’s plan for the informal dinner.</p> + +<p>“Why, I think it excellent,” declared Zaidee. “You see, we should both +be questioned. It’s awfully tiresome to have to tell an occurrence over +and over and Mrs. Barrington would carry conviction. I hope you won’t +mind, Marguerite. See what it is to be a heroine.”</p> + +<p>“I was nearly killed with Miss Nevins and wouldn’t it be a good thing to +refer curious people to Mrs. Barrington?”</p> + +<p>Marguerite glanced up with a half smile.</p> + +<p>“We have to pay the penalty for any unusual happenings,” said their +father. “I think I should feel interested if this had occurred in the +home of a neighbor. So we will not set it down to idle curiosity. Even +<i>I</i> had to be convinced that it was not mere hearsay.”</p> + +<p>As they were leaving the room Miss Crawford <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_306" id="pg_306">306</a></span>said in a low tone, +“Margaret—don’t you need some shopping or planning done?”</p> + +<p>“Thank you, Kate. You have been a true sister all these years. I took +Marguerite and some material to Madame Blauvelt this morning. She +thought that green cloth would make a very becoming suit and the +lavender grey. They will not go out much this winter now that the +holidays are over, and they are too young.”</p> + +<p>Miss Crawford only said, “Oh, very well.”</p> + +<p>The mother had a half guilty feeling as if she had unduly asserted +herself, yet she was inexpressibly happy.</p> + +<p>There were calls in the afternoon and Zaidee sat alone in her room +leaning her chin on her hand and glancing out of the window.</p> + +<p>In a way she had been the family heroine.</p> + +<p>The twin sister who might have been so dear had been wrenched out of her +life. She had thought of her, dreamed of her, although she had been well +content to fill the place of an only daughter with this faint shadow of +sorrow hanging over her; and suddenly, she had been uprooted, flung +aside as it were, and another had stepped into her place. She did not +like it. If it had been from the beginning! If it had come about some +other <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_307" id="pg_307">307</a></span>way. If someone had sent from that Western town. Would the girls +who had held themselves above the Boyd connection feel mortified at many +of the comments they had made? She was glad she had held up some +supposititious cases; though, truth to tell, Zaidee felt too secure of +her own standing to need any propping, and there was a strand of +independence in her character, but she had been first all her life and +in a curious fashion she would lose that eminence.</p> + +<p>Of course, in time she would love Marguerite. One could not do it in a +moment. That was the salve she was applying to her conscience. When they +had known each other for months, learned and respected each others’ +peculiarities, love would come. She had not felt inclined to fling +herself in Lilian Boyd’s arms, and she had almost doubted at first. So +had Aunt Kate.</p> + +<p>Zaidee would have scouted the thought of jealousy, and if it had been +suggested would have denied it vehemently. Neither was she given to +analysis. Her temperament was rather volatile and pleasure loving. The +things that suited her she enjoyed, the others she passed by +indifferently. She did like to be made much of, and she thought she was +<span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_308" id="pg_308">308</a></span>worthy of preference. She had beauty, good nature and a heedless sort +of generosity and wealth. In a certain way she saw the benefit of that +quite as much as Alice Nevins though she did not esteem it the chief +good.</p> + +<p>Major Crawford came in from his walk just at dusk.</p> + +<p>“Letters!” holding it up. “A thick packet—one for each of us, I think.”</p> + +<p>Zaidee had been waiting for Aunt Kate to come up stairs, as the last +caller had gone. She was lonely after this long communing with herself.</p> + +<p>“If there is not one for me I shall go to bed and cry,” she declared as +she followed to her mother’s room. Aunt Kate had been detailing some of +the pleasant neighborhood news.</p> + +<p>Yes—each one was directed. Willard had not omitted one member of the +household. He was in Washington and had come just in time for some of +the grand occasions. Saturday he was to board his vessel and by +Wednesday, at the farthest, they were to start on their three years’ +pilgrimage. But to each one some tenderness exclusively for herself. To +Zay he recalled many of their joys during the summer time, little events +they were glad to hold together and the blessed news of their mother.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_309" id="pg_309">309</a></span>“There will never be anything quite like that,” she thought to herself. +“And there is no one else—Aunt Kate never felt afraid to trust us, and +of course, he will grow older, find a sweetheart perhaps, and I may have +a lover; girls of nineteen do. Up to this time he has cared the most for +me.”</p> + +<p>Marguerite turned to the window though the gas had been lighted. There +was no past to refer to, only the sweet, tender hopes of the future. It +touched her deeply. No one had ever written her such a letter before. +And that he was her brother and would write again and again. She must +strive to deserve this love and confidence, grow up into the fine +character he had pictured for her. Vincent had sent her fond messages in +his mother’s letter but she did not know him and he could not come so +near.</p> + +<p>Zay read some of hers aloud, but she wondered a little what he could +find to say so much of to Marguerite. She had not the courage to show it +to her mother, even, it seemed so sacred to her. Oh, could she reach the +heights he had indicated?</p> + +<p>Marguerite did shrink from the ordeal of Saturday evening. She had kept +rigorously to the position of Mrs. Boyd’s daughter but <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_310" id="pg_310">310</a></span>how would she +meet these girls who had held aloof in her poverty and proffered +cordiality now, because she was Major Crawford’s daughter! She could not +get over a little hurt feeling, for surely she was the same person. She +almost despised the money and the position. But there was the grand and +tender love. Ah, that was worth a great deal.</p> + +<p>By Saturday noon all the girls had come in. There were merry greetings, +recapitulations of the holiday times and the gifts they had received and +some of them heard for the first time the change in Lilian Boyd’s life.</p> + +<p>“I always liked her,” said Isabel Gordon, “only you couldn’t get on with +her. She allowed you to come so far and no farther. And she was a most +excellent student and very ready to help anyone. I don’t think you girls +need ever felt afraid of her presuming and now I suppose you will all go +down to her.”</p> + +<p>Miss Gordon’s voice had a touch of indignation.</p> + +<p>“I shall pay her the respect due her standing, of course,” said another, +“I was always polite to her in the classes.</p> + +<p>“And, Louie Howe, you know you persuaded that Nevins’ girl to write that +hateful <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_311" id="pg_311">311</a></span>letter to her, when she had been so good and taken so much +pains with her.”</p> + +<p>“I didn’t <i>persuade</i>,” rejoined Louie, angrily.</p> + +<p>“You said you were sure Mrs. Nevins wouldn’t approve of the +friendship—yes I think you <i>did</i> suggest the letter and Miss Nevins +slipped back woefully. How many of us would have taken her into grace +again? And I know Mrs. Barrington held Miss Boyd in high esteem.”</p> + +<p>“She thought she would make a fine teacher; so, of course, she pushed +her along.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Louie!” in deprecating tones.</p> + +<p>“Well, you may all go down to her. I shan’t object. She can’t hold a +candle to Zaidee.”</p> + +<p>“Oh, Zay is a darling!”</p> + +<p>“I wonder how she takes it. She has always been a little Queen and her +aunt thinks the sun rises and sets in her and sweeps the very stars out +of sight; and Zay isn’t a bit puffed up or arrogant, but she does want +people to love and admire her. And now that her mother has recovered +sufficiently to go into society again I am afraid Zay won’t like to +share her.”</p> + +<p>“Miss Marguerite isn’t handsome and Zay is a beauty, and the least vain +of any pretty girl that I ever met.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_312" id="pg_312">312</a></span>“It’s funny for twins not to look more alike, but there’s something +noble about her, and she has the same lovely complexion. What she needs +is more color.”</p> + +<p>The carriage drove around; Mrs. Barrington welcomed them both warmly. +Marguerite was in a light evening dress that made her look much younger +and her hair had been becomingly arranged by the maid. All the girls +were summoned to the drawing room and Mrs. Barrington entered with her +most delightful air.</p> + +<p>“Young ladies,” she began, “I have a new scholar to introduce to your +circle, Miss Marguerite Crawford, the lost child of Major and Mrs. +Crawford, supposed to have been killed in the sad accident fifteen years +ago. Mrs. Boyd’s baby was killed and she, mistaking the nurse who was +killed for the mother, out of pity, took the child. Her health was not +very good when she came here and it failed gradually. Then she thought +she ought to take some steps that the child might be able to trace her +relatives, if she had any. You may have all heard the story, which has +been proved beyond a doubt, and she has found the most cordial welcome +in her own family. I hope you will all rejoice with her, though I <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_313" id="pg_313">313</a></span>had +resolved if no claimant were found, to keep her here as my own. I hope +you will unite with me in giving her the warmest of welcomes in your +circle as ambitious students. I thought you might like to meet her in +her new relation to us before the real work of next week began.”</p> + +<p>There was a moment’s silence, then Miss Gordon stepped forward and +clasped her hand.</p> + +<p>“I think we all rejoice in your good fortune; also, that we are not to +lose you. It is a beautiful and happy romance and Mrs. Barrington’s +plans for you would have been fully deserved if something so much more +delightful had not happened. Believe me, I shall always be glad to have +known you.”</p> + +<p>There was an instant confusion of voices and a throng gathering about +her. Zaidee stood beside her looking proud and happy as congratulations +poured in upon her. The cordial acceptance did touch her. She was glad +to begin her new life by being friendly with them all.</p> + +<p>Presently they went out to the dining room and it was quite a festive +occasion. Zaidee was bright and charming, and endeared herself more than +ever to the girls. No one should say she had a grudging thought. +Phillipa <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_314" id="pg_314">314</a></span>Rosewald proposed drinking toasts to her, even if it was only +in water, and much girlish wit and laughter went round.</p> + +<p>“Why it’s been a delightful party,” several of them declared. “Mrs. +Barrington, how can we thank you?”</p> + +<p>“By being cordial and helpful with each other and holding fast to the +divine truths that shape character and will make you admirable women +capable of filling the best and highest positions in life; and, +remember, there is nothing more satisfactory in the world than true and +generous friendship.”</p> + +<p>Phillipa rescued Zay from the overwhelming kissing and hugs.</p> + +<p>“Oh, my dear, isn’t it all wonderful? Why you didn’t write half of it to +me! And I laughed over your little scare of scarlet fever. Louie had a +mental attack, I think. She went almost crazy, but I fancy she won’t +blow on us. It was a silly thing to do, but see here—” and she twisted +a ring around her finger. “A diamond, sure enough, but I can’t be +engaged until I’ve graduated. It’s just awful, and only a little stolen +bit in his sister’s letters to me. But he thinks he’ll plan a way to see +me at Easter, even if he has to come here. So the old woman didn’t miss +it there! And <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_315" id="pg_315">315</a></span>I do wonder how you’ll like a sister? You spoiled little +midget!”</p> + +<p>“Oh, we shan’t quarrel,” with a gay laugh.</p> + +<p>The carriage had come for them and there were enough farewells to send +them off to Europe.</p> + +<p>“Zay <i>does</i> take it beautifully,” said a group of girls. “Lucky that +Miss Nevins was all bunged up with a bad toothache and swelled face. +She’d counted so much on being in at the feast.”</p> + +<p>The three elders were sitting up for them.</p> + +<p>“We’ve just had a gay old time and Rita was the star of the goodly +company,” exclaimed Zaidee in her merriest tone. “We drank healths +enough to sink a ship and Mrs. Barrington was sweetness itself. I’m +tired and sleepy, so you won’t mind if I run off to bed. And Monday the +treadmill of school begins. Only one day of grace!”</p> + +<p>She kissed her parents, then her sister. Was she beginning to love her? +She had been so radiantly sweet tonight.</p> + +<p>“You <i>did</i> enjoy it?” and the Major pulled Marguerite down on his knee.</p> + +<p>“Oh, yes, only I didn’t like being quite so much of a heroine. But my +most ardent admirer was ill in bed, and I was thankful for that.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_316" id="pg_316">316</a></span>He laughed. How different she was from Zay. Had it been her quiet +restricted sphere, her struggle with the life she had known in dreams +and the bald every day experiences? Zay laughed at the favors and +pleasures showered upon her but she would not have been the bright, +merry girl without them. Would the gravity of the one help to tone down +the mercurial temperament of the other? Oh, it was so good to have them +both! Could he ever be thankful enough? And he forgave the poor woman in +her grave.</p> + +<p>Zaidee chatted awhile with Aunt Kate who fancied she understood all the +thoughts of the young girl’s heart. It was not strange she should be a +little jealous, but she had more gifts to attract the world with, and +the pendulum of her parents’ love would swing back presently. Then the +child said good-night and went to her white bed, but the sleepiness had +gone by and she was wondering about herself.</p> + +<p>Would she come to love this strange sister who had been thrust upon her +as it were. Truly, she did not know. If she kept the old love of them +all, the first love, no one could quite climb up to that place in their +hearts and if Marguerite could be content <span class="pagenum"><a name="pg_317" id="pg_317">317</a></span>with the second place—that +really was hers, she would be sweet and gracious and share honors with +her.</p> + +<p>Poor child! She did not understand what love really meant; that it was +to dole out the overplus of one’s life when one was in the mood, or +withhold when one chose, was, as yet, her definition of it. What can an +overindulged child know of the grand motives it takes a life-time to +learn?</p> + +<p>Marguerite looked out on the shining night with its tender hush, with no +wind stirring, no sound anywhere. A new life unrolled before her; an +illumination and comprehension of the past that would be builded in the +years to come. Whatsoever was lovely and of good report was to be the +foundation stones of the temple God had bidden her to rear. Would she +learn to be lovely in feature and expression from the inward light of +the soul—the lamp God had set there?</p> + +<p>Yet the new life had brought grander duties than mere self advancement, +and Marguerite prayed that she might fulfill them faithfully.</p> + +<hr class="dashed" /> + +<p class="c">ALWAYS ASK FOR THE DONOHUE<br /> +Complete Editions and you will get the best for the least money</p> + +<p class="xl c">Book by MRS. E. D. E. N. <span class="smcap">Southworth</span></p> + +<p class="c">AN ATTRACTIVE LIST OF THE<br /> +WORKS OF THIS POPULAR AUTHOR</p> + +<p>The first eighteen titles with brackets are books +with sequels, “Victor’s Triumph,” being a sequel +to “Beautiful Fiend,” etc. They are all printed +from large, clear type on a superior quality of flexible +paper and bound in English vellum cloth, assorted colors, +containing charming female heads lithographed in +twelve colors, as inlays; the titles being stamped in +harmonizing colors of ink or foil. Cloth, 12mo size.</p> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>1 Beautiful Fiend, A</td></tr> +<tr><td>2 Victor’s Triumph</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>3 Bride’s Fate</td></tr> +<tr><td>4 Changed Brides</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>5 Cruel as the Grave</td></tr> +<tr><td>6 Tried for Her Life</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>7 Fair Play</td></tr> +<tr><td>8 How He Won Her</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>9 Family Doom</td></tr> +<tr><td>10 Maiden Widow</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>11 Hidden Hand, The</td></tr> +<tr><td>12 Capitola’s Peril</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>13 Ishmael</td></tr> +<tr><td>14 Self Raised</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>15 Lost Heir of Linlithgow</td></tr> +<tr><td>16 Noble Lord, A</td></tr> +</table> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: 2em; margin-right: auto; clear: both;"> +<tr><td rowspan="2"><img src="images/cbrace.png" alt="" style="height:2.5em;" /></td> +<td>17 Unknown</td></tr> +<tr><td>18 Mystery of Raven Rocks</td></tr> +</table> + +<p style="margin-left: 2em;">19 Bridal Eve, The<br /> +20 Bride’s Dowry, The<br /> +21 Bride of Llewellyn, The<br /> +22 Broken Engagement, The<br /> +23 Christmas Guest, The<br /> +24 Curse of Clifton<br /> +25 Deserted Wife, The<br /> +26 Discarded Daughter, The<br /> +27 Doom of Deville, The<br /> +28 Eudora<br /> +29 Fatal Secret, A<br /> +30 Fortune Seeker<br /> +31 Gypsy’s Prophecy<br /> +32 Haunted Homestead<br /> +33 India; or, The Pearl of Pearl River<br /> +34 Lady of the Isle, The<br /> +35 Lost Heiress, The<br /> +36 Love’s Labor Won<br /> +37 Missing Bride, The<br /> +38 Mother-in-Law<br /> +39 Prince of Darkness, and Artist’s Love<br /> +40 Retribution<br /> +41 Three Beauties, The<br /> +42 Three Sisters, The<br /> +43 Two Sisters, The<br /> +44 Vivian<br /> +45 Widow’s Son<br /> +46 Wife’s Victory</p> + +<p>All of the above books may be had at the store where this +book was bought, or will be sent postpaid at <b>75c</b> each by +the publishers</p> + +<p class="c">M. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Girls at Mount Morris + + +Author: Amanda Minnie Douglas + + + +Release Date: December 29, 2007 [eBook #24070] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS*** + + +E-text prepared by Roger Frank and the Project Gutenberg Online +Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 24070-h.htm or 24070-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/0/7/24070/24070-h/24070-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/0/7/24070/24070-h.zip) + + + + + +THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS + +by + +AMANDA M. DOUGLAS + +Author of "Sherburne Series," "A Little Girl Series," +"A Modern Cinderella," Etc. + + + + + + + +[Illustration: Went Scudding Through the Park (Chap. 6. +Girls at Mt. Morris)] + + + +M. A. Donohue & Co. +Chicago + +Copyright 1914 +M. A. Donohue & Company +Chicago + +Made in U. S. A. + + + + +CONTENTS + + I Looking the Future in the Face 1 + II A New Outlook 22 + III Food For Consideration 39 + IV The Grace of Endeavor 58 + V Zaidee 77 + VI An Escapade and What Came of It 100 + VII A Supreme Moment 118 + VIII A Strange Confession 134 + IX Whose Child Am I? 154 + X Unraveling Tangled Threads 171 + XI Standing Up to the Mark 186 + XII Oh, Will I Be Welcome? 204 + XIII A Mother's Love 220 + XIV Going Out of the Old Life 244 + XV Your True Home 267 + XVI Out of Her Loyalty 287 + + + + +THE GIRLS AT MT. MORRIS + +CHAPTER I + +LOOKING THE FUTURE IN THE FACE + + +Lilian Boyd entered the small, rather shabby room, neat, though +everything was well worn. Her mother sat by a little work table busy +with some muslin sewing and she looked up with a weary smile. Lilian +laid a five-dollar bill on the table. + +"Madame Lupton sails on Saturday," she said. "Oh how splendid it must be +to go to Paris! Mrs. Cairns is to finish up; there is only a little to +do, but Madame said everything you did was so neat, so well finished +that she should be very glad to have you by the first of October." + +The mother sighed. "Meanwhile there is almost two months to provide for, +and I had to break in the last hundred dollars to pay the rent. Oh +Lilian! I hardly know which way to turn. I am not strong any more, I +have made every effort to--" and her voice broke, "but I am afraid you +will have to give up school." + +She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. + +"Oh, mother, don't! don't!" the girl implored. "I suppose it was +selfish of me to think of such a thing and you couldn't go through two +years more. You are not as well as you were a year ago. I'll see Sally +Meeks tonight and take the place in the factory. I only have to give two +weeks and then begin on five dollars a week. It will be better than the +sewing." + +Lilian Boyd stood up very straight and determined, though her heart sank +within her. To give up her cherished wish, to join the great army of +shop girls with no hope of advancement in the future! She was almost +sixteen; she had been two years in the High School and was a favorite +scholar. Two years more and she could teach. It was in the walk of life +that she so ardently desired. Tall for her age, vigorous, with courage +and earnestness in every line of the face that was fine, now, to the +casual observer and might develop into beauty. It was spirited, eager, +with a clear complexion, deep blue eyes that in some moods seemed black, +while the hair was light and abundant. The brows and lashes were much +darker. The features were regular, the chin broad and cleft, but it was +the courage and uplift in the face that gave it character. + +The mother was so different. It was not altogether a weak face but +intensely commonplace; the sort of woman who has no ambitions beyond the +ordinary round of life. Was it the old story of the eagle in the dove's +nest? + +"You are very tired," she began, presently. "Lie down on the lounge +while I get supper." + +Mrs. Boyd was still crying softly. Lilian kissed her, threw a light +shawl over her shoulders, then lighted the gas burner and set on the +kettle. She would run out and get a chop for her mother, some for +breakfast as well. Yes, she must begin to be the care taker, she had +been so engrossed with her studies and giving her help with the sewing +they did for a dressmaking establishment that she had hardly noted. She +swallowed over a great lump in her throat, it was a bitter sacrifice and +yet she must make it. She could not even study during the evenings for +she must help with the sewing, and if her mother should be ill! + +The little supper was tastily arranged, the tea and the chop had an +unwonted fragrance. + +"I'm awfully sorry," said the mother, "but Sally says it is a nice shop +and the boss is particular about the kind of girls he has, and to think +Sally's earning nine dollars a week now!" + +"Yes, Sally's a nice pleasant girl," that was all she could trust her +voice to say. + +"And it will be company back and forth. Maybe--sometime--" + +Oh, had she been right in that long ago time? It seemed ages to her, so +much had happened since, and she thought she could not live without the +child, but after all the girl was not of her kind. What if she had done +her a great wrong! She had never been an introspective woman, her life +was mostly on the surface, with commonplace aims and desires. + +The kitchen was small, the middle room not much larger, but it had two +nice windows, the front was on a much neglected street with a big +carpenter's shop across the way. They used that for a sleeping room and +it had in it the remnant of better days. The sewing room was much more +quiet. + +Lilian cleared away the things. Mrs. Boyd went back to the lounge. Then +the girl went down the street. She had best make her sacrifice at once, +it was not a subject to ponder over and she realized it had been a big +black cloud hanging about her the last month. + +Sally's mother sat out on the small porch gossiping with a neighbor. + +"Oh, Lily Boyd," she exclaimed. "Sally was coming up on Saturday but +she had to fly round like a bee in a flower garden. It want her turn to +go to the Rest House, but the other girl couldn't--sickness at home. So +Sally went in her place. Splendid, isn't it! And board only two dollars +a week. I tell Sally she's got the nicest boss we've ever heard about. +She'll be home Sat'day night and tell you all about it." + +"Yes, I want to see her. No, I can't stay. Oh, mother does not seem very +well. Good-night." + +Lilian did not go straight home. This was the old part of the town there +were no real cottages and little gardens fragrant with flowers, but +people were huddled in them. There would presently be factories and +tenement houses. + +She was making a sharp, desperate fight. Strong natures have to. Why was +she born with these ambitions and aims and capabilities and the ardent +desire to do something? All girls did not have them. Some in the class +laughed and made merry without a thought of the future. Some expected to +teach and 'just hated it.' She would have been so glad. Well the dream +must be given up--at least for years. It would be horrible to count on +her mother's death for freedom. She shuddered. + +They went to bed, but neither of them slept until after midnight. Now +and then Lilian heard a soft sob. She felt that she ought to comfort her +mother, but what could she say? Since she had been growing up she had +become aware of a barrier between them. Mrs. Boyd had loved her +fervently as a little girl, she had not taken any special pride in her +entering the High School with such a fine record. She was in no sense an +ambitious or an intellectual woman and the girl's vigor and intentness +sometimes frightened her. She should have been in some other sphere. + +Lilian sank into a sort of dull apathy, questioning everything as youth +often does under a great disappointment. What was the use of living if +one could never attain the things one desired? She was not like Sally +nor dozens of other girls. Their commonplace lives would be martyrdom to +her. + +So they both slept late. Lilian prepared the simple breakfast. + +"Perhaps it would be a good thing to get out last winter's clothes and +see what can be fixed over," said the mother. "But you have grown so +much this year, Lilian." + +Oh, if clothes mattered, if anything mattered! There was the postman's +whistle. + +Quite a thick letter for her mother in a neat lady's hand. + +"Why that's funny," and a smile brightened the girl's face. + +Mrs. Boyd glanced it over. "Why it's from Mrs. Searing. She was here +last March, you know. She has always taken such an interest in you, +and--oh read it, read it aloud. My head is so bad this morning." + +She began to cry again. + +Helen took the letter. The first page was full of friendly interest and +then she branched off into a delightful visit she had been making at a +very pretty place, one of the old fashioned aristocratic towns where a +relative kept a select and high class Seminary for young ladies. She had +found her in something of a quandary. The woman who had taken charge of +the bed and table line and a sort of general seamstress had suddenly +married, and it was necessary to fill her place before school opened. +She wanted a middle aged person with some experience who was neat and +careful. She would have a pleasant room and the duties would not be +arduous. There was a housekeeper and several maids beside the cook. + +"So," wrote Mrs. Searing, "I told her about Lilian, remembering you had +said you were afraid you could not keep her in school to finish, and her +ambition to be a teacher. She was wonderfully interested and I told her +somewhat of your misfortunes and struggles. So she proposes that you +shall accept this position and that Lilian shall take a sort of +supervision of some of the younger pupils and go on with her own +education. Mrs. Barrington has been very kind and helpful to several +young girls and I know Lilian will admire her extremely." + +The girl sprang up with a glad cry and flung her arms around her +mother's neck. + +"Oh, let us go, let us go! Why it seems like a miracle," and then she +was crying, too, from an overwrought heart. + +Presently she resumed the letter. They would have a pleasant room +together, considerable leisure, and there would be music, a fine library +beside that in the town and the society was charming. The mother's +salary was a very fair one and in another year the daughter might be +able to earn something for herself. Mrs. Searing really urged the +matter. Would Mrs. Boyd write at once to Mrs. Barrington? + +"Oh, mother, to think! No rent to pay, no bills to meet, no bother of +cooking and house keeping. It seems too good to be true. Let me read it +over again lest I must have skipped something." + +It seemed more attractive at the second perusal. Lilian's heart beat +with unwonted emotion. Mrs. Boyd leaned back in her chair, paler than +ever but not quite so depressed. + +"You must answer it, Lilian; I couldn't make it sound right, and you can +tell her about yourself; I don't understand all these things. I never +had any high up education. People were not thinking of it then." + +Lilian was glad to do it. She knew a person of refinement and education +would see what her mother missed and perhaps doubt her ability. She made +a draft and read it aloud to Mrs. Boyd. + +"It sounds beautiful; I couldn't have done it." + +Was it education that gave one the power, the sense of what was +appropriate, or some underlying fact that she dared not face? What if it +had been a great mistake in that far back time? Could it ever be +remedied? + +"Oh, mother, I thought last night that I shouldn't want to live if I +could never reach any of my aims. When I hear delicious music I feel it +in my very finger ends. When I read about pictures and statuary and +magnificent churches I can almost see them, and a rift in the sky, an +autumnal branch of red brown leaves, nooks that I have seen now and +then, looks that are grand and high and beautiful stir my very soul. +Where did I get this from? Was my father--" + +She looked really beautiful standing there, her eyes full of +inspiration, her cheeks aglow, her scarlet lips quivering. Mrs. Boyd +trembled with a mysterious chill, and a shiver went over her. + +"Oh, no, no! he was a plain man, a good, honest man"--her voice failed. + +"And if he had lived we should have been very happy, I know; and I did +like the boarding house better. I wish we could have kept it, but to sit +here day after day and not see any way out of the narrow distasteful +life, feeling as if you could fly--am I wicked? Poor little mother do I +frighten you? Oh, don't cry, I am going to be a good daughter and not +wish for impossible things if this comes true." + +She clasped her mother's hands that were seldom idle so long. How thin +they were with dullish, prominent veins. The mother looked past her +child rather than at her, but she could feel the glowing, spirited force +like a ghost out of the past that shook its upbraiding finger at her. +She leaned her face on Lilian's breast. + +"Poor mother, dear mother," in a sweet comforting tone. "I'm afraid I +haven't always been a loving daughter, but whatever comes we will share +it together. In a few years I will be working for you, that is the +splendid side to this offer." + +"But--if you shouldn't be--some girls, young ladies think they must draw +a line--" + +"Oh, I shall not mind that if I suit Mrs. Barrington. I shall go to work +and to study, and when I reach some high place in teaching, I shall +smile over those petty things. A boy gets praised when he works for his +education, why shouldn't a girl?" + +Then she brought out her paper and wrote her letter. She wished her +stationery had been finer, but she would not spend the money to gratify +pride. Then she went and posted it and bought some little luxuries for +dinner. After they had partaken of it she made her mother lie down and +take a good rest while she went over some of her school books and worked +out several problems. + +Yet the waiting was very wearing. Sally came after having had a +splendid time at the Rest House and said she, Lilian, could come in two +weeks. She wrote a letter to her mother's friend Mrs. Searing who was +most happy that they had accepted the position, and enclosed a +ten-dollar note to buy some of the little things young girls long for. + +They took out last winter's clothing, but alas, it was outgrown and well +worn. + +"When we hear you must have a new outfit," the mother commented. + +"But it seems dreadful to break into your last resource," said the girl +regretfully. + +"But I shall be able to replace it from my salary, for as you said we +shall have no expense in the future for living. Oh, what a blessed +relief! Mrs. Searing has been our good providence." + +"And you are quite happy about it?" + +"Yes, oh yes!" + +The mother watched her elastic step, her proud carriage, the attractive +face that had so much vigor and purpose. Oh, she was not of her kind. At +times the thought was terrifying. + +Then the longed for letter came. It began: + +"My dear Miss Boyd. I was much pleased with your letter and the +consideration evinced for your mother. I hope the change will benefit +her. Mount Morris is considered a very healthy place and it is certainly +beautiful. I hope you will both be very happy here, and you seem not +only an ambitious girl but quite willing to work for the things you +desire." Then follows a description of the school and the duties, and +what would be expected of the mother, the routes of travel and several +time tables enclosed. Mrs. Barrington would like them to come as soon +after the 20th of August as they could. + +Lilian could not conceal her joy. They shopped a little, finding some +bargains from early spring left-overs. They packed up a few things and +disposed of the rest. Lilian's few friends were surprised. Sally hoped +she would not be disappointed. + +"Mount Morris has such a pretty sound," exclaimed Lilian, "and I think +Mrs. Barrington is a tall and stately woman with the grand beauty you +sometimes see in a picture. I want her complexion to be lovely and her +hair snowy white, and her voice like the music that makes you feel sorry +when it stops. I want to like her very much, and make myself useful to +her." + +"I am quite sure she will like you," returned the mother. + +Lilian felt as if she could dance and sing. Was there such a thing as +being too glad and happy? To go out of this poor old life with its +pinches, and the sordid economies to a lovely home! She read Mrs. +Searing's letter over and over again. These were the things that +appealed to her, that she enjoyed in every fibre of her being. She +glanced at her mother. Why the face was almost stolid! Oh, that was +wicked! She had been so good and kind. Was it not the hard grind of +poverty and hopeless work, never making any advance, that quenched the +vitality of soul and brain? She must make her mark before hope dropped +out of the years. She had watched her teachers in a curious manner, +though she was too young to understand analysis of character. Some were +favorites, some had favorites, girls who were of the noted families or +had prosperity back of them. There were others, one she had liked very +much who seemed to study with you, to help you to understand. Her +classes always had many of the finest pupils. That was the kind of +teacher she meant to be. + +Of course there had been slights, sometimes sneers. These lilies of the +field in their fine array longed to crowd their mates out in the arid, +dusty highway. She stood her ground and she was a fine scholar. She was +helpful, too; she had no sneers or cruel laughs over the blunders of +others. + +A few of her mates were truly sorry to part with her and surprised to +find she was going to a high-up Seminary to be trained for a teacher. +The teacher she liked so much was away on her vacation. + +So they left the old noisy, dirty factory city. It was Lilian's first +journey in the great world. And oh how large and beautiful it was! They +passed thriving towns, beautiful villages, great fields of waving corn, +fruit orchards, then towns again, rivers, lakes, high hills cleft by +rocky passes that sparkled in places as if set by gems. Then stretches +so serene so instinct with fairy beauty she drew long breaths and +dreamed of delightful futures, and what is a girl of sixteen filled with +a love of beauty and ambition worth if she cannot dream some grand +ventures. + +Mrs. Boyd was not interested in the scenery. She gave a quiet assent to +the girl's enthusiasms and presently Lilian ceased to appeal. It was so +when she had read stirring prose or exquisite poetry aloud. + +Mrs. Boyd was going over her past life. It had been much in her mind +the last year. A commonplace factory girl earning her living, an orphan +at that. Her dream was a lover, presently, marriage, a little home, and +keeping it tidy, and babies of her very own. The lover came, a nice +steady machinist with a little education, saving up money, marriage and +the home of a few rooms, buying this and that of the simplest kind, and +then the baby, a nice, plump, blue-eyed boy who grew apace and was the +delight of both. What more could she ask for? That was certainly +content. + +He took out a small life insurance, though it almost broke her heart to +think of his dying. And she never dreamed of the baby. He was so well +and strong and joyous. Yet a few days' illness swept him out of the +world, and almost broke their hearts. Then a little girl came. She liked +girls the best, they were more to the mother. She could make their +clothes, they could go out together. Then lovers would come and +marriage, and all the everyday interest of new lives. + +One sad day James Boyd was brought home dead. Something had gone wrong +with the machinery and before it could be stopped his life had been +beaten out. Neighbors were kind to her, the employer took charge of the +funeral, but there were other sorrows and losses in the world. + +She had one brother of whom she had seen very little, as he had gone +West when a mere boy. He had a big farm and five children and he wrote +for her to come out, as his wife had recently died. The steady home +looked so inviting. Yes, she would go. + +The life insurance had been well invested by a friend of her husbands'. + +"Don't disturb it," he counseled. "You may not like it there and want to +come back, and your brother may marry again. There's enough to give you +a nice start in something." + +If she had never gone! How many times she had wondered! For midway in +the journey there was a horrible accident in a small town where two +roads crossed. The child flew out of her arms and she lay unconscious. +There was no hospital. Kindly neighbors took in the wounded and the +dead. + +When she came to herself one morning the child was fretting and she +nursed it. She could not remember distinctly, but they were both alive +and she gave thanks as she hugged the child to her heart. + +"Will you have some breakfast? You had a good natural sleep last night, +and the baby is all right. The other poor baby was killed and its mother +is dying, maybe dead now. There was so much confusion. The baggage car +was wrecked and burned, the trunks lost, and it seems so hard to get on +track of relatives. Some cannot be identified." + +The listener shuddered. Then the breakfast came and she ate it with an +eager appetite. + +"You might try getting up by and by. The railroad company are doing all +they can and sending passengers to their destination." + +"When was it?" in a tremulous tone. + +"Two days ago; well, it will be three tonight. It was hardly midnight +when it happened. I never was in an accident before. It was awful." + +Emma Boyd sat up in the bed and took the child in her arms, studying it +earnestly. Oh, how sweet and rosy it was with its dimpled mouth and its +fringe of soft hair. Then she laid it down and crept out of bed, feeling +rather shaky, but having the use of all her limbs. There was the dress +hanging on her chair. She wondered what would be done. Should she go on? + +There was another pocket in the side of her skirt and she felt for +that. There was the remainder of her trip ticket and some money. She had +only put a small amount in her satchel and that was safe as well. +Rescuers had been honest. Was it a token that she should go on? + +The official was in that afternoon and made her a general allowance, she +thought, for her losses. There would be a through train at nine the next +morning if she was able to go. + +"Could I see the--the other lady. How was the baby hurt?" + +"Oh, it was all crushed. The mother was killed. One of the passengers +recognized her and the lady, and though you were stunned for a long +while you came partly to, and called for your baby. So we brought it, +and although you were not quite rational you were so happy with it and +improved rapidly. You've been fortunate, ma'am." + +"Yes," with a queer, frightened sound. + +"She's a beautiful woman and belongs to the quality, but her hip is +broken and her back twisted, and there's something hurt in her head. She +can't live--we thought her dead in the night. It's a blessing the poor +baby has gone." + +She lay like marble. A beautiful woman, truly. The eyelids with their +long lashes looked as if they were carven. There was only an infrequent +sign of respiration. + +"We hope we are on the track of some one belonging to her. The doctors +want her moved to the hospital." + +The next morning Emma Boyd journeyed out to her brother's. A coarse, +common, loud voiced farmer, rough and unkempt and five unruly children. +She was appalled, and a dreary stretch of prairie land with hardly a +neighbor in sight. Why she had been crazy to come! and she found farm +work quite too hard for her. She had better be housemaid at Laconia, or +go in the mills again. And when her brother found she had a little money +he was eager to get hold of it. Yes, she had better return to her native +town, especially as her brother was meaning to marry again. + +So she came back to Laconia which was a manufacturing town with iron +mines at its elbow. There were varying fortunes as there often is with +the poor. Mill work when she had to leave the child alone, then a +boarding house which really prospered, but was sold with some other +property for a big factory. Then housekeeping for a nervous invalid +wife, and here she had met Mrs. Searing who had proved a true friend. +After that sewing, making skirts for a dressmaker and working at +childrens' clothes. When it was dull times they drew on the little fund. +The girl was ambitious and had mapped out her own life, different from +what her mother had planned. They loved each other but it was as if two +foreign natures were trying to assimilate and there was no conformable +ground for perfect harmony. Yes, she would take this last step for the +girl's sake; she owed it to her. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +A NEW OUTLOOK + + +Lilian Boyd glanced around the station at Mount Morris with a kind of +joyous surprise and wonder. The beautiful town with its straight +streets, some of them with a narrow park in the centre, houses that were +palatial to her inexperienced eyes, with terraced lawns, wide porches, +graceful shrubbery and a profusion of flowers. True, the station was +quite at one side and a little farther down the road crossed the river +that went meandering along, too winding and shallow for business +purposes. Opposite there was a succession of wooded hills with here and +there a stately residence. + +"How beautiful, mother!" Lilian cried, moved in every pulse of her +being, her eyes lustrous with tears, her lips quivering. + +The beauty did not so move the mother. She was embarrassed and shrank +when the coachman with an authoritative air approached them. + +"Mrs. Boyd?" tentatively. There had been but few passengers and they had +gone their way. + +She glanced timidly at Lilian who answered for her. + +"Give me your checks, please, and I will order the trunks sent up." + +"There is only one," in a deprecating tone. + +Lilian was glad she had insisted on a nice new trunk. + +"This way please," and he took the girl's satchel. Mrs. Boyd followed +rather than led, but her daughter stood aside so that she should be +assisted in first. + +"What a beautiful town!" she exclaimed involuntarily. She had a feeling +that they were recovering from a reverse of fortune and this was their +rightful place. Then she smiled at the absurdity. + +Mount Morris Seminary was rather at the lower part of the town, and a +long level stretched between that and the river, broken by a few clumps +of shrubbery. The house was a handsome old style building, colonial in +its aspect with its broad piazza and fluted columns going up to the +second story. + +There was an imposing entrance, but the porte cochere was at the side +where the wide screen door showed a sort of reception hall, furnished +with willow and splint belongings, a table with magazines and papers and +two great jars of ferns. + +A tidy maid received them. "Would they please be seated, Mrs. +Barrington would be down in a moment." + +Lilian drew a long breath of rapture. To live in a place like this! To +wander in the beautiful garden, to work and study in such inspiring +environments. Yes, she had come to work as well. She had been too young +to discriminate, but in an instant she seemed to realize how bitter the +struggle with poverty and discouragement had been, the hurry with hardly +an hour's real enjoyment. No wonder it had made her mother worn and +hesitating, fearful, and here everything was so leisurely aspected. + +She heard the soft trail of a gown over the stairs and rose in eager +expectancy. + +Mrs. Barrington was a handsome woman at sixty, tall and straight, with a +gracious presence. Her hair was snowy white as the girl had hoped and +lay in loose waves about her forehead. Her dark eyes were not easily +evaded, but her manner of smiling serenity was in itself a welcome. + +"I am afraid it has been a long and tiresome journey in this warm +weather, but a few days' rest will restore you I hope. You look very +delicate, Mrs. Boyd." + +She gave the hand a friendly pressure. + +"Mother had so much to do before we started," explained Lilian, "and +the change--" + +"And the parting with old friends," with her sympathetic smile. "I hope +you will soon feel at home and like us all. Mrs. Searing gave you both +such an excellent recommendation, and I confess I take a warm interest +in girls who are eager for advancement. Now allow me to show you to your +room and shall I send you up some tea? That is a rather pleasant English +fashion, I am glad you came so promptly for my housekeeper has gone on +her vacation and we shall have the better chance to get acquainted." + +"Oh, thank you," said Lilian warmly. + +They followed her up the stairs where a cross hall led to a wing. The +room was large with two single beds, the windows in white drapery, a +capacious bureau, a dressing table, a washing stand in a recess, a +writing desk and some book shelves. It looked so cozy and inviting. + +"I will send up the tea, and I think your mother had better take a rest. +If you like to come down you will find me in the hall." + +"Thank you," she replied. "I shall be glad to come." + +She took her mother's bonnet and wrap and placed her in the rocking +chair. + +"Oh, isn't this a splendid closet? It's like another room. We are going +to be so happy here; I feel it in every pulse. Heaven bless Mrs. Searing +for finding us this shelter. Now drink this cup of tea. Thank you," to +the maid. + +It was reviving. + +Lilian brushed out her dress and smoothed her hair. Her coat had left +some wrinkles in her shirtwaist, but she stretched and patted them out. +Then when she had seen her mother comfortable on the bed, she came down. +Even the little freshening made her look bright and rosy and her eyes +were vivid with the light of pleasure. + +Mrs. Barrington had a bit of fancy work in her hands which were white +and shapely. She studied the young girl. It seemed to call up something +from the long past years that eluded and yet piqued her. How different +she was from the mother. + +"Have you always lived in that western town, Laconia, I believe it is, +and was it your mother's birthplace?" + +"Yes, I am quite sure. I was away once as a baby. Mother went to her +brother's after father died but did not like it, and Laconia is an ugly +manufacturing town of smoke and grime, but it is said to have a fine +High School. Of course there are some rich manufacturers." + +"How long were you in it?" + +"Two years, and I was fairly broken hearted at the thought of not +completing the course, but mother wasn't strong as she had been, +and"--yes, she would be bravely honest--"we were poor, mother's little +money was almost spent. Boys supported themselves while they are +studying, why shouldn't girls?" + +Oh, where had she seen just that proud uplifting look! It puzzled the +lady. + +"I am always pleased to help an ambitious girl along, and you have a +dignity which will be a great aid in teaching. Mrs. Searing said that +was your desire." + +"I love to study. I think I shall love to teach, and sometime I hope to +go to college." + +"I think you will work your way there. What branches were you in?" + +Lilian was very frank. She showed that she was a thorough student. +History was one of her delights. Latin was the only language admitted +until the third year, and in mathematics she seemed well grounded. + +"I want some one to take charge of a few of the younger classes and be +of service in the study hour from eight to nine. I think you will fit in +admirably, but do you think your mother is quite strong enough?"--and +she paused. + +"Oh, she is used to sewing of all kinds. She is very tired now and I +think she has been worried all the time lest something should go wrong +with this nice offer. You see sewing is not very profitable ordinarily +unless you can do high up dressmaking or are forewoman in some factory, +and I couldn't sew for a living. It is one thing over and over. You are +never learning anything new, broadening out, enjoying the wisdom of the +master minds, the beautiful poetry, the grand philosophies. Oh, am I a +very romantic or conceited girl?" and she paused with a bright flush. + +"You are meant for a scholar." + +Just that instant the trunk came and Lilian excused herself and went up +with it. Her mother was up and looked rested. + +"And please put on that black and white lawn, even if it is a little +crumpled, and my white batiste always shakes out. It is nice if it isn't +very fine." + +The bell sounded and they went down. The table was laid in the pretty +little tea room. Lilian ate and drank with a sensation of delight. The +china was so delicate, the table so beautifully arranged, the serving so +perfect. Often in reading a story Lilian had fancied herself the heroine +and enjoyed the feast. + +The child has much finer breeding than the mother, Mrs. Barrington +mused. She almost fancied she detected something furtive about Mrs. +Boyd. Was she being won by the girl's proud face to the detriment of the +mother? It seemed to her that Mrs. Boyd stood in awe of her daughter. + +Afterward they went to the parlor which was a fine large room splendidly +furnished, Lilian thought. There was a grand piano, an organ, two +beautiful marbles, vases and pictures. There was a wide hall that was +like another room. Here on the west side was the school and recitation +rooms, the girl's dining room and a commodious kitchen. + +"Will you go up stairs?" asked Mrs. Barrington. + +Lilian answered eagerly, Mrs. Boyd followed. + +Over this side were the dormitories and baths. Some rooms accommodated +two beds, others only one. They were neat and pleasant and had been +lately put in order. + +"I do not care for more than twenty boarding pupils," explained Mrs. +Barrington. "That makes a nice family with sufficient variety of +character. I am much interested in the development of girls, and the +town has nothing detrimental in it. We have a fine music hall where +there are concerts and lectures, occasionally a play, and a nice +library. The walks and drives about are beautiful." + +The hall was not so wide up here. There were two entrances to the family +side, the one to Mrs. Barrington's rooms which was divided by a short +hall from those of the assistants. Two of the teachers lived at the +school, though one of them had a room where she could be in touch with +the girls. + +When they reached her room Mrs. Boyd said-- + +"If you don't mind I will retire. I am so little used to long journeys +that this has fatigued me. No, Lilian you need not stay. I shall not +want anything. By morning I shall be rested," and she waved her away. + +"Are you quite sure?" asked the girl, "and you will not be lonely?" + +"Oh no, I shall enjoy the quiet." + +"Are you fond of music?" asked Mrs. Barrington. "Shall I play a little +for you?" + +"Oh, that would be delightful. I have heard very little that might be +called refined music." + +Then she knew the difference. + +She was charmed, though the hostess played mostly the simpler things. +She thought she could have listened all night. + +A night's rest refreshed Mrs. Boyd very much and the certainty that +Lilian had found a good friend. For she knew she could not stand the +struggle much longer. She was really worn out. + +Her duties were explained in a very kindly manner. There were the linen +closets at hand, the bedding that she was to deal out as it was needed, +the table napery. What she did for the girls was quite her own affairs. + +"And you must not allow them to impose on you. My rule is that all small +bills must be settled once a month. Most of the girls get their +allowance then. You will have considerable leisure for yourself. I hope +you will soon feel very much at home." + +As for Lilian she seemed in an enchanted land. Such stores of splendid +reading, such a magnificent out of doors! She and her mother were sent +out to drive, and the town was like the places she had read about in +books or the higher grade monthly papers. Then Mrs. Dane, the +housekeeper, returned and Miss Arran, who was a kind of secretary, took +her outing. + +Mrs. Dane was a tall, rather severe looking person. All disputes with +the servants and any discomforts in the rooms were under her +jurisdiction. Why it was like a little kingdom in itself. + +"Mrs. Boyd doesn't look very robust and seems rather timid, uncertain, +though if she is capable--" Mrs. Dane began rather sharply. + +"She has been seamstress to a dressmaker for several years. I fancy she +has had it pretty hard for the last year or two, but Miss Lilian is very +bright and energetic, only I am afraid she will hold her head rather too +high." + +"I fancy she will make an excellent teacher. That is her aim." + +Mrs. Barrington had looked through the big book of photographs of school +girls. Some turns of the head, some glances and a sound in the voice +still puzzled her, but it was connected with something in the past. Few +young girls made characteristic portraits. Ah, here was one who had just +that poise, that eager ambitious expression. A Miss Mortimer who +certainly possessed fine abilities, and a resonant voice. She had taken +the lead in school entertainments, and then she had joined a theatrical +troupe and married a third rate actor, to the lady's great +disappointment. + +"There is some likeness," she mused, "only the voice is much gentler, +more truly musical. It must be that is the elusive suggestion, and Miss +Boyd is wild over Shakespeare. It shall be my purpose to prevent her +from being an actress, unless she can stand in the front ranks." + +Lilian and Miss Arran became friends almost at once. Both were fond of +walking, and to Lilian the beautiful aspect of the town, the woods and +the picturesque river with its many windings and suggestive nooks where +she always found a new touch of beauty stirred her with a vivid and +intense delight. + +Then the real life began. Girls trouped in, trunks were set down with a +thump or oftener carried up on the third floor for unpacking. Girls in +the remnant of summer suits, for it was still warm, others in cloth or +serge, laughing chatting, running to and fro. How bright and merry it +all was! + +It took some time to get settled. The first grade girls who were to be +the next year graduates, if they chose, were at one table with Mrs. +Barrington and Madame Eustis, the French teacher; the other had Miss +Arran, Miss Davis, and the new scholars or the second grade old ones. +Lilian was at this table, though they could have their meals in their +own rooms. + +She felt very sorry for her neighbor, Alice Nevins, who was dreadfully +homesick and scarcely tasted anything, winking desperately to keep her +eyes from overflowing. Some of them looked very bright and jolly. + +"Girls," exclaimed Louie Howe, as a group gathered on the lawn, "there's +a new pupil teacher, and you know that's one of Mrs. Barrington's fads. +Last year's girl wasn't much of a success it seems. I think it's that +lanky girl in brown silk who looks half frightened out of her wits, and +her mother is the seamstress and caretaker. I wouldn't have put her in +brown silk with that dull brown hair and wretched complexion." + +"Thank fortune she isn't at our table!" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington wouldn't put such a looking object with us. She +really doesn't know enough to last over night. There are eight new +scholars, three with us come for finishing touches, five in the second +grade." + +"There's a girl I'd like to know with that splendid light hair, just +the least bit wavy. She sat opposite Miss Arran, and had a blue lawn +frock with the baby waist and lace yoke. She is fine looking; a little +too grave to be handsome, but her complexion is lovely. She's a princess +in disguise, I can tell by the way she holds her head. I shall throw +myself at her feet when I get a chance. It is a case of love at first +sight. There she is with that brown girl. I'd go over but I am afraid of +being snubbed. I do wonder who she can be, and there she's taking that +Elma Ransom under her wing. It will take the child five years to get up +to our first division." "That brown girl as you call her is a Miss +Nevins. Her parents have gone abroad, I've learned that much, and they +are well to do. That is the golden mean between comparative and great +wealth. Miss Vincent introduced her to me, and then she turned her to +that rather striking looking girl." + +"And which do you suppose is Miss Boyd? Or has she run back to mamma's +sheltering wing?" + +"I think she has discreetly retired. We must make some excuse to get in +to our lady of the needle. I'm sorry Miss Nevins isn't better looking +if she has plenty of money." + +"Well, the gods were just this time. She will need the money to illumine +her pathway. Just see that girl in the blue frock. Why, they are +thronging about her." + +Louie Howe went over and caught little Elma Ransome by the arms. She was +short and rather plump with an infantile face that made her look younger +than her years. + +"Why Elly, I'm glad to see you back. Now this year you must study hard +and fill up some of the vacancies we graduates make." Then she glanced +around the group. + +Elma flushed and then said a little awkwardly--"This is Miss Boyd, and +this Miss Nevins, and--I don't know all the names yet." + +"You have more new scholars than we." Then she made a stiff little bow +and turned away to her own group. + +"Girls, what _do_ you think? Why, I nearly fainted with surprise. 'Looks +_is_ often deceiving.' That girl I thought a princess in disguise is +Miss Boyd. Why she has airs and graces enough to amaze you. If her +mother is like that, will we ever dare to ask her to darn our +stockings?" + +"Miss Boyd!" exclaimed a chorus of voices. + +"Well, it's good we have learned the fact at once so we shall not make +any blunders. She'll be a sort of charity scholar working for her board +and training. Of course we shan't have anything to do with her as she +isn't in our set. Though it wouldn't be so bad but for the mother." + +"That's real snobbish, Louie," said a girl. + +"Well, I don't know, you have a right to choose your friends, and I +heard Mrs. Dane say something about their being very poor." + +"Well, she's stylish and she has an air, and Mrs. Barrington wouldn't +take in any one objectionable. If my father should die I might be glad +to have some one take me in, and I expect to teach when I am through. +You see father has four more to educate." + +"Well, Mattie Vincent, you can make a bosom friend of her for all that I +care." + +"Oh girls, don't let's quarrel about her when we have just come and are +glad to see each other. I dare say Miss Boyd wont trouble us." + +"She'll be pushing, and aspiring to the best--you'll see! One can tell +by the way she holds her head, and she _could_ stare you out of +countenance with those bold black eyes. I shall keep on my guard. You'll +see me take her down if she presumes." + +But Lilian Boyd did not presume. She went to church with her mother on +Sunday in a simple white pique frock, and spent the evening on the back +porch with Miss Arran, not even going in the parlor for the singing, and +on Monday school duties began. The classes received considerable +accessions from the day scholars. Lilian had two of the younger classes +and she found a real pleasure in the teaching. Then she was in the Latin +class and proved herself an excellent scholar. + +The evening hour was sometimes rather trying. Some of the girls asked +foolish questions just to perplex her. Occasionally she suggested they +should ask Miss Davis. The younger ones were quite tractable, though now +and then a spirit of fun broke out, set a-foot generally by the larger +girls. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +FOOD FOR CONSIDERATION + + +Lilian Boyd did not want to cross the line of division that was acutely +felt and yet so nicely projected that a faint move on her part would +bring about a rebuff. She had the youthful longing for girlish +friendships, for little confidences about books they liked, about aims +and the future. Some of the pupils were so attractive; and it was +because she was the caretaker's daughter; she saw it when they came in +to her mother with any errand, when they passed her in the halls with a +supercilious nod. + +But then, why need she care? They would go their way presently and she +might remain. She knew she had won Mrs. Barrington's favor. That lady +made it a point of her joining the Sunday evening singing and she found +that she had a good, flexible voice. + +One lovely October afternoon she thought she would walk down to the +river whose banks were now a blaze of color. Some one called and she +turned. It was Alice Nevins who _was_ sometimes tiresome. The girls were +going down in town and one of them had really asked her if she would not +like to join them. A gratified light shone in her eyes for a moment. +There was something in the other's face that gave her a quick warning. +There was some plot underneath. + +"Thank you very much but I cannot go this afternoon. I hope you will all +have a nice time." + +Then she went to her room. Her mother was folding up some sewing. "There +is so little to do," and she smiled vaguely. + +"Come out and walk with me." + +"No, I don't feel equal to it, I will put a shawl about me and sit on +the porch." + +"Shall I come and read to you?" + +"No, dear, it is an effort to listen. I'll just sit and think." + +"Mother, are you satisfied here?" + +"Oh, my child, I could not have dreamed of anything so comfortable, and +for your sake--you are happy?" with a touch of wistfulness. + +"Oh, it is so delightful, and then to think that I shall fit myself for +a nice position presently. Then mother dear we will have a few rooms and +a real home again." + +"Oh, you are so good," in a tremulous tone. + +Lilian kissed her. She wondered why her mother's eyes rested on her at +times with that unfathomable look and the lips would move, then +suddenly compress. + +So she walked down past the summer house where the Virginia creeper was +flaunting long scarlet branches in the wind. + +"Oh, Miss Boyd!" + +She turned. Alice Nevins ran out. Her face was red and swollen with +weeping. + +"Oh, what is the matter?" + +"Let me come with you? Oh, I'm so homesick, and I just hate some of the +girls. They laugh when I blunder. I don't know things. I just hate +school! Papa _would_ send me here. Mamma begged to take me abroad. I'm +sure I could have learned a great many things. People say travel is an +education. I hate to study books. Do you really love it?" + +"Yes, very much, and for all it brings to you. Were you never at school +before?" + +"Only a little. Then I had a governess. You see, I was growing fast and +mamma thought I oughtn't study. She wasn't very well and papa wanted to +take her somewhere in Italy, and he sent me here, and some of the girls +_do_ make fun of me. Can't you _feel_ it when they are laughing at you?" + +Lilian flushed. "I try to think of something else. They are not really +worth minding." + +"I know I'm not pretty. Oh, I wish I were! And you have such a lovely +complexion. How is it made up?" + +"Made up? What do you mean?" + +"One of the girls said it was, and that sometimes you painted." + +Lilian was angry then. + +"My paint and powder are soap and water," she returned, indignantly. "It +is a shame for a young girl to do such things." + +"But you _are_ pretty. Must your mother be the caretaker here? What does +she have to do?" + +"She looks after the sewing and the mending. Yes, because we are poor, +we both have to earn our living. Some day I mean to teach and take care +of her." + +"Where is your father?" + +"Oh, he died when I was a baby." + +"Well--I'm awful sorry. Do you like that Phillipa Rosewald?" + +"I don't know much about her." + +"She makes fun of so many things, and she tells you words that sound +wrong when you pronounce them. I said something yesterday and the girls +giggled and Miss Davis thought I did it purposely and I was marked +down." + +"It was a very mean thing," Lilian's cheek glowed with indignation. + +"Then Miss Rosewald tells such funny stories. Four or five of the girls +just hang together and they think they are everything. But I guess +father is as rich as any of their fathers. Only I wish I was real +handsome." + +"Oh, my dear, I would think of my studies instead. Now let us talk them +over. What is it that bothers you most?" + +"Oh, everything." + +"But you _must_ study. Now, won't you try this evening. I'll help you +all I can." + +"Oh, I wish I was with mamma. I shall just tell her that I hate school. +What's the use of so much education anyhow? Girls get married." + +Lilian felt that Mrs. Nevins was a very poor mother not to have taught +her daughter a little common sense. Then she asked how old Alice was. + +"I was fifteen last May." + +"And I will be sixteen in June. I wasn't quite fourteen when I was +promoted to the High School, where I spent two years." + +"Oh, but I'm not going to teach or anything. Mamma said she would be +sure to send for me next vacation, but that is almost nine dreary +months away," with a profound sigh. + +"And you ought to learn a good deal in that time, so that you will not +be classed with the ignorant and conceited girls who think their money +will cover everything. There are so many young people going abroad +nowadays, college girls who have all the nice points of travel by +heart?" + +"Oh, dear, I just can't study!" desperately. + +"Oh, try. Now this evening I will help you. You see," smiling, "very +little knowledge comes natural. It is true some acquire easier than +others, but it is the continued effort after all." + +"Oh, dear, I wish you had been my sister. Papa is always bemoaning that +there are not more of us, but mamma says if there were I would have to +go without many things. I've some lovely jewelry but papa would put it +in the safe deposit, and he went and bought this cheap little watch for +school. My nice one cost one hundred dollars. It's a real beauty, and +mamma has lots of diamonds. I have two, they were birthday rings. Don't +they have parties here when you dress up? I brought my pretty white +silk, and I have a pink one with lots of lace, and my fur coat will be +sent to me, it is being altered a little. It's real seal, and mother has +such a lovely Russian sable. Oh, I do like pretty clothes, but Mrs. +Barrington made out a list that seemed very plain for a high-up +finishing school--don't you think so?" + +"I have not seen it. Most girls come to study and fit themselves for the +station they are to occupy. Unless you are going in society I think +there is little need of very fine clothes. Now let us talk a little +about your studies. Miss Davis feels quite concerned about you." + +Miss Nevins pouted a little. Lilian felt her nice walk was spoiled so +she turned her attention to the ignorant girl who "just hated study." +What a foolish mother she must have, while it seemed that her father was +far more sensible. + +Mrs. Barrington stood on the porch as they returned. She detained Lilian +with a wave of the hand. When Miss Nevins was out of hearing she said in +an approving tone-- + +"I am glad to see you take an interest in that poor child. Miss Davis +thinks her lamentably ignorant. I am really sorry I accepted her, but +her father wrote such urgent, sensible letters. Her mother must be a +very foolish body and the girl is extremely backward. It is asking a +good deal of you to take a little pains with her, but I see that you +have an attractive way with you. You will make an excellent teacher, and +I hope to keep you a long while." + +"Oh, thank you, I will try to do my best," Lilian returned, delighted +with the praise. + +Miss Arran always came in the study room, generally bringing a bit of +embroidery for it was not expected that Miss Boyd should attend to the +upper division with some girls older than herself. The other class were +quite at the lower end of the room, ranged around the table. Miss Boyd +seated herself next to Miss Nevins and patiently explained, but it was +very hard to keep the girl's attention to the subject in hand. She +thought she had never seen any one so utterly indifferent and with so +little ambition. There had been stolid, slow-witted girls among the +operatives in Laconia in the grammar school, but they really desired to +learn. + +Miss Davis paused the next day to say-- + +"Miss Boyd your good training does begin to take effect. Miss Nevins had +such excellent recitations today that I was pleased beyond measure. You +are way up in Mrs. Barrington's good graces, I can tell you." + +Lilian flushed at the commendation. + +For the next hour the girls could have a social time in each others' +rooms or the library. There was a crowd of eager talkers with Miss +Rosewald. + +"Yes," she was saying. "I ran over the housekeeper just as she was +coming out of Rinsey's. Zay will be here by the 20th, and she's coming +right to school, for the Major and Mrs. Crawford are going to the +Mediterranean. The German doctors and the baths did wonders for her and +she can walk without crutches. A friend is to take them on his yacht and +they'll be home at Christmas, and there will be Vincent's graduation. +Dear me! I hope I can go up to West Point. They say the balls are +splendid. The Crawford house is to be all done over, and no doubt there +will be a big housewarming there." + +"Oh, it will be just delightful to have Zay back again. I suppose that's +the reason Miss White was put in with Buttons and that room fixed up so +nice. Mrs. Barrington has had word, of course. We just need her to round +out, I was going to say, the atmosphere. It's too studious. Those +Kirkland girls are going to college, dearly loved cousins, quite +sufficient for themselves, and there's that granery, yallery, Grosvenor +Gallery, one who writes poetry and is too lackadaisical for anything. +What we want is a rollicking, fun loving girl to start us." + +"And something's the matter with you, Phil. Have you been crossed in +love?" + +Phillipa Rosewald turned scarlet. "No," she answered, "it's two of them +and I can't decide. One is rich and homely as a hedge fence and always +says 'drawring' and 'reel,' but has lots of money and a fair enough +family back of him. The other is handsome and oh, my! gay as a lark, but +he had about run through with a fortune, and I'm afraid he will flirt +now that the restraint of my serious and imposing presence is removed." + +"Serious, that's good. Why didn't you say severe?" + +Phil's love affairs were the entertainment of her coterie. + +"Oh, girls, did you notice--well, I have a new name for them. 'Beauty +and the Beast.' How devoted they were this evening!" broke in Louie +Howe. + +"Oh, you mean that Nevins girl? But _do_ you call Miss Boyd handsome?" + +"Well--she has a fine complexion--" + +Louie wrinkled up her nose. + +--"and lots of beautiful hair, a good figure and regular features. Maybe +she lacks a certain style to make her noticeable--or something--" + +"Money and position. I don't just see why a common sort of girl who has +to earn her living should be above the average, and that Nevins girl's +father is one of the firm of bankers in New York and London, and she's +horrid!" + +"Oh, girls," exclaimed May Gedney, "they kissed each other last night in +the hall, a regular smack; I heard it. Fancy that pimply cheek being +pressed against yours! and that lap-over tooth that sticks her lips out, +and those pale gray-green eyes. Yes, Miss Boyd does look handsome by +contrast." + +There was a great giggle. "We must watch the course of this ardent love. +Perhaps _she_ understands the worth of contrast." + +They went back to Zay Crawford, who was a general favorite. She and a +brother nine years older than herself, a passed midshipman had gone to +Germany in the summer, where her mother had been taking treatment. The +Major had accompanied her. Miss Crawford had taken over the young +people. + +It was true, to Lilian's surprise, that Alice Nevins had clasped both +arms around her and kissed her rapturously, exclaiming--"You are so +sweet! Oh, I wish mother and father would adopt you! I'd just like to +have you for a sister. I've never seen a girl before that I wanted." + +Lilian freed herself and went to her room. She was not an effusive girl. +At Laconia she had made some friends, but she was too proud to aspire to +the higher ranks or accept overtures from them. She felt _sorry_ for +Alice Nevins but there was no real companionship. Yet was there not a +duty? She seemed to occupy a peculiar position, and loved to listen to +the fascinating bits of talk, places one and another had seen, music, +operas, paintings, lectures, a knowledge of real things, not merely +those gleamed from books. + +Well, she must earn them herself. She used to dream of them at nights +when the lights were put out. She was changing curiously, she felt it +herself. It was not only in the added self-reliance, the nameless little +ways of refinement and grace the intuitive knowledge of what we call +good breeding, and the cordial smile of commendation from Mrs. +Barrington thrilled every pulse. + +Mrs. Boyd was not vulgar but she was undeniably commonplace. High +thoughts such as stirred Lilian in verse, never roused her. Yet the girl +did feel indignant at times at the manner in which some of the girls +addressed her mother when they were uniformly polite to Miss Arran. + +She was quite undecided about her duty to Miss Nevins. The kiss had come +so suddenly she had no time to evade it but she took good care to do so +the next night. Lilian had never been an effusive girl. She had almost +broken her mother's heart in her little more than babyhood, when after a +rapturous caress she had half pulled from the enclosing arms and said in +a willful fashion--"Don't kiss me so hard, I don't liked to be kissed!" +And later on when her mother had always called her Lily, she had said +emphatically--"Why don't you call me Lilian! I'm too big a girl to be +called by such a baby name as Lily and I don't like it." + +That began a sort of gulf between them that the mother never had the +courage to bridge over. There was a curious dignity about her that even +the obtuse Miss Nevins could not surmount. + +One day the girl brought her two beautiful orchids. + +"You've been so good about my lessons that I wanted to do something, and +these were"--hesitatingly-- + +"Handsome and expensive," in a chilling tone. "They were the finest +things the florist had, and mamma always sends me some money in her +letters, while papa sends my allowance to Mrs. Barrington. So I feel +that is clear gain," laughing. "Mrs. Barrington is rather strict about +allowances, and she's shut down on so much sweets and hot chocolates. Do +you think it hurts one's complexion?" + +"It certainly hurts yours. I would give them up, and so much cake; the +regular school living is good enough, and you should take a cold bath in +the morning." + +"Ouch! That would be horrid," and the girl shuddered. + +"But you want to be beautiful!" + +"Oh, I am afraid that wouldn't make me beautiful, and when I am quite +grown up I shall have lovely clothes, and it doesn't so much matter when +you are rich." + +Lilian glanced at her with a sort of pity that any girl could be so +silly, and a sense of disgust, also. + +"Miss Nevins, I must say one thing that I want you to observe for the +future. You must not make me costly gifts nor any kind of gifts. The +help I am giving you Mrs. Barrington wishes me to give to any girl who +needs it. It is simply my duty, you see, and Mrs. Barrington repays me." + +Miss Nevins looked as if she could not understand. Then she struck a +rather tragic pose. + +"Oh, if you would only love me!" she cried, clasping her hands together. +"I am so lonely! I miss mamma every hour. Then I think I could learn to +like it here, and I'd try to study. I'd give up cream soda and--yes, I +_would_ take the bath, but it must be warm." + +"Oh, you foolish thing!" Lilian laughed in spite of herself. "There, I +cannot stay here talking, and you must go to your lessons." + +"No, I'll get some other girl and go down town. You are cold and cruel." + +She was rather sullen all the evening and failed in some recitations the +next day. After that she studied with a better grace. + +"Miss Arran," Lilian said on Sunday morning, "do you think I might take +mother to that little Chapel in Chester street. I think she would feel +more at home there." + +"Oh, certainly. Mrs. Barrington insists that the girls shall attend at +least one service a Sunday. Then there is the Bible Class here, which +she makes very interesting. She and many of the girls go to Trinity, but +I like the Chapel a good deal myself. It is a Methodist, you know." + +"Yes, mother was used to that service." + +So they went together, though Louie Howe said--"We'll manage it so +Beauty and the Beast will walk together," but she missed her plan. + +It was a very simple and sweet service and the sermon was on hidden +sins. Lilian wondered if hers was undue pride, the desire to rise above +her station? She glanced at her mother. The tears were coursing silently +down her sunken cheeks. Was she missing the love a daughter ought to +give? She looked so frail and delicate that the girl's heart went out to +her as it never had before. + +In the vestibule stood a sweet faced young woman waiting while an +elderly lady was talking to her friend. She came near and held out her +hand in a friendly manner. + +"You are a stranger here, but we are very glad to welcome you," she +began cordially. + +"You are one of the Seminary young ladies, I saw you on the porch one +day when I was passing." + +"Yes," Lilian returned, then added "in a way. And this is my mother, +Mrs. Boyd." + +"And I am Miss Trenham. This is my mother." The two ladies shook hands +in an old-fashioned manner. + +"Do you go up Elm Place? Then let us walk together. Is this your first +year here?" + +"Yes," answered Lilian. + +"I hope you liked our clergyman and will come again." + +"I think mother will feel more at home." + +Miss Trenham smiled. + +"I come here largely for my mother's sake. I think the simple service +comes nearer the heart of the older people. I like Trinity church, I +like the service of the whole year round, and the music is fine. I like +coming in the house of God with a reverent hymn. You are one of the +newer scholars, are you not?" + +"Yes, we came in August. My mother has a position in the household." She +would not sail under false colors. "And I am to study for a teacher." + +"Oh, then we'll have a mutual bond. I am a teacher in the Franklin +School." + +"Oh, I know where that is," with a smile. + +"You like your own school?" + +"Oh, it is delightful, and such a beautiful home. Such a lovely town--" + +Her face was radiant with pleasure. Then they paused. + +"We go on a few blocks further. We live in Gray street. I am very glad +to have met you. Shall I see you again next Sunday morning?" + +"Oh, yes," promised Lilian. + +Then she took her mother's arm. + +"Did you like it mother dear? I thought the service very simple and +sweet." + +"And the lady was so friendly. I told her we were at the Seminary. The +daughter teaches school, and she asked me to visit them--to come to tea +some day. Do you suppose Mrs. Barrington would object? Would you like to +go?" timidly. + +"Why it would be very pleasant." + +"Everybody seems so grand, I'm glad not to go to the high-up tables; I'm +so afraid of mistakes. You see when people get along in life it isn't +so easy to take up new ways. But that Mrs. Trenham seemed like some of +the Laconia folks." + +"Yes, we will go again next Sunday," said Lilian. "And to tea the first +time we are invited." + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE GRACE OF ENDEAVOR + + +The door of Mrs. Boyd's room stood partly open. Louie Howe gave a light +tap and marched in with an air that was rather insolent. + +"Oh, Mrs. Boyd, I've given my walking dress such an awful tear! Mrs. +Barrington said she was quite sure you could mend it. You see I'm going +to a sort of musicale in about an hour and I couldn't take it to the +tailors. It's my best suit, too, and--it must be done very neatly." + +Mrs. Boyd examined it. "Yes, it's pretty bad, I've done worse though, +and part of it will be under the plait. Let me see if I have the right +color." + +She opened a box of spools and took up several colors to match. + +"Oh, yes, here is one," and she gave a smile of gratification. + +Louie dropped into a chair. Was she going to wait? Lilian wondered. + +"What a pleasant room this is, Mrs. Boyd! But all the rooms are just +cozy and nice. Of course Mrs. Barrington can afford to keep it in a +lovely fashion for her prices are high and she doesn't care to take any +scholars only from the best families. I do wonder how that Nevins girl +slipped in? Her father is a first-class banker, I have understood. They +have a big house in New York and a summer house at Elberon, and their +New York house is rented out for seven thousand dollars; but isn't she a +terror? How do you stand her, Miss Boyd?" + +"She has had very little training. Her mother has been ill and seems +very indulgent," answered Lilian quietly. "Yet she may make a very fair +scholar." + +"It's funny to hear her talk. Bragging, we call it. Do you suppose the +stories are true?" + +"Mrs. Barrington would know," was the cautious reply. + +"Well, I suppose she must be satisfactory or she wouldn't be here. But +there's common blood back of her somewhere. Money doesn't give you the +prestige of good birth. That always shows--don't you think so?" with a +confident upward glance. + +"I have not had experience enough with the world to judge," answered +Lilian. "We lived in a factory town--" + +"And in such places there are a good many newly rich, and they think +they have it all." + +Mrs. Boyd had been straightening out the rent and basting it on a piece +of stiff paper. + +"I wonder if you would mind asking Mrs. Dane if there were irons on the +range." + +She looked straight at Louie, not at all as if she was asking a favor. +Lilian was on her knees straightening and dusting the lower shelf of the +book case. She did not even turn her head. + +Miss Howe went out with what she thought was a stately step and frowned +at the girl on the floor whose business was to wait on her mother. When +she was clear out of sight and hearing Lilian sprang up and clasped her +arms about her mother. + +"Oh, that was just splendid!" she cried, her eyes soft and shining. + +"I--I think I meant--either of you!" hesitating. + +"It was her business and it won't hurt her to wait on herself. The girls +go down to the kitchen and iron out ribbons and things. I'm not their +maid, and she had no business to stand here gossipping about Miss +Nevins. I'm sorry for her and I don't like her, but there are some girls +that are real friendly. There are two girls going to college next year. +They have money, too, and they think a degree a great thing, and know +of girls who have taught awhile and then taken a year or two and taught +again. I was reading such a fine book--this girl and her mother took a +cottage and boarded the overflow of girls and had a lovely time, she +helping and studying. That's what we will try to do, and this year you +will get real well and strong. Oh, isn't it nice not to have any care of +things and so much comfort?" + +The mother bent over her work turning her head aside so that a tear +shouldn't fall on it. Oh, wouldn't the child be better off without her? +She was so courageous, so fertile in expedients. Oh, they could not be +all day dreams. + +The skirt was beautifully darned and pressed and sent to Miss Howe's +room by the maid. Then a note came to Mrs. Boyd. "Wouldn't she and Miss +Lilian walk home with the Trenhams from church tomorrow morning and dine +and meet a delightful young friend who had graduated at a Woman's +College. Lilian might like to hear the experiences." + +"Oh, that will be just royal!" the girl exclaimed. "Mother you must rest +this afternoon. If there is any mending let me do it." + +"Nothing is needed. Sometimes I feel as if I did not really earn my +salary, and Mrs. Barrington is so kind." + +"And now I begin to feel quite at home with some of the young ladies. I +_am_ proud of being a good scholar, but I study with all my might and +main," laughing. "And next year I may earn a little money." + +Sunday was bright but rather blowy. The leaves fell and whirled about +like flocks of birds and the sky was like a June day. Miss Benson had +come to church, a bright rather pretty woman of five or six and twenty. +Her voice was attractive. Lilian had come to remark the differences in +voices. Some did repel you; many were indecisive. + +They walked down to Elm place. This was the old end of the street in a +row of small detached houses with gardens running back to the next +street and a space of six feet or so between. The Trenham's was in very +nice tidy order, the windows with neat white drapery. + +"Our next door neighbors are considered quite a detriment," explained +Edith Trenham. "The woman professes to be a clairvoyant, and there are +five children, two very unruly boys. I do hope they will go away in the +spring." + +Edith ushered her guests into the pretty parlor where the cheerful fire +seemed to radiate pleasure as well as heat. In a small wheeling chair +sat the invalid, a pale little girl of fifteen, but who looked years +younger. She held out her hand to Lilian. + +"Oh, what pleasure it is to see you," she cried. "Your color is +radiant--like a June rose, isn't it mamma? and such beautiful hair. +Edith is always well but she hasn't much color. Oh, if you could have +seen our roses in June! They were bewildering. Don't you feel that +gorgeous things sometimes are? Then the next door boys came over and +stole the roses and broke the bushes. I cried nearly all day. It seemed +as if I had been pulled to pieces. The mother said she was sorry but +that wouldn't put the roses back." + +"Claire you will find is quite a spoiled child," Edith said, stooping to +kiss her. She was very pale and the dark hair framing in the little face +gave her an almost uncanny look. + +When they had laid aside their wraps Claire took possession of Lilian +again, and wanted to know about the girls in the Seminary. + +"Why, Claire, they are most all young ladies," said Edith. + +"Well--are there many pretty ones? and what do they do beside study? +They would get tired studying all the time." + +Lilian explained that they visited in each others rooms and had +calisthenics and danced, and went through some beautiful evolutions with +Indian clubs-- + +"Oh, how funny!" Claire interrupted. "Do they make believe they are +Indians?" + +"Oh, no," and Lilian explained. They had a bell double quartette and +made lovely music by striking some sweet-toned bells with small wands, +and they were allowed to go down town. One evening a week there were +dances. + +"Oh, do you dance? You look that way?" + +Lilian colored. "You see I spend a good deal of my time with my mother. +Then I have lessons to learn--" + +"And I don't study, I read delightful books. For you must know I can +never get about or do things like other children. I draw and I paint +over pictures, and I have an autoharp, and a beautiful big doll that I +make believe is alive and we go traveling. Edith reads about journeys." + +Mrs. Trenham had been adding a few last touches to the table which had +been mostly prepared in the morning, the real cooking having been done +the day before. Claire was lifted out in a cushioned chair and insisted +that Lilian should sit next. Miss Benson was on the other side and took +a turn with Lilian. + +"Yes, she had worked her way through college. She had studied +type-writing and done work for the professors and copied essays for the +girls and coached backward girls, and trimmed hats, as she had a genius +for millinery. Then, in vacation she had been a sort of summer governess +when parents wanted to take journeys. It had all been very interesting, +too, but it had taken longer, and now she was studying medicine in New +York and teaching some hours a day." + +"I like to teach but I don't believe I want to be a doctor, I think I +should like to go to college." + +"It is a fine discipline and broadens out one's mind. It makes excellent +teachers, as well, and you do have many happy times. Think of a +settlement of hundreds of girls!" + +"Mrs. Barrington will only have twenty boarders and there are about +twenty day scholars." + +"Not a very large family to be sure, but enough to give you some +variety. You look as if you might be a good student." + +Lilian colored. + +Mrs. Trenham was entertaining the mother. + +She had been a widow twelve years, but was left with a small competency. +Claire had been thrown out of a carriage by a runaway horse when she was +barely five and very seriously injured so that for two years she was +entirely helpless and now held her life on a very frail tenure, but she +was a happy child and they made her life as entertaining as possible. + +"You are blest in your daughter," said Mrs. Trenham. "She is so bright +and eager and vigorous, and has so much character. Well, I have Edith +who has always been a great comfort, and I suppose one gets used to a +burden when it is a pleasant one. Claire is very loving and we try to +keep all sad things from her." + +Lilian thought it a delightful afternoon. These were the kind of people +you could get close to. She saw that her mother was enjoying it as well. +Wasn't it rather monotonous for her at Mrs. Barrington's? At Laconia +there had been neighbors dropping in, some who had known her early life +and sympathized with her misfortunes, and here, no one. She was glad to +have been taken in this kindly family. + +"Oh, won't you come often?" pleaded Claire. "I like you so much, and if +you could come some Saturday mamma and Edith might go out together. An +old lady does come in when they go to church, but she isn't any real +company. She hasn't any ideas. Don't you think old people get sort of +stupid?" Lilian laughed. + +Miss Benson expressed a good deal of pleasure at meeting such an +ambitious girl and hoped to keep in touch with her for sometime; she +might be able to counsel her or perhaps direct her on her way. + +"It has been just delightful," she said when they reached their own +rooms. + +She did not go in to sing but read to her mother. Yes, she would try in +the future to share more of her life with the colorless one. She had +resolved to make the great sacrifice when she found she could not go on +with school, and lo, this had been the outcome. They were delightfully +sheltered, there were no hardships, only pin pricks and she would be +silly to mind those. There was a sudden commotion through the place on +Monday morning. Such glad bursts of welcome, such joyous laughter and +absolute peans of delight. + +For Zaidee Crawford had come. She, Lilian, was not in it and she +wondered if at any time or in any place there would be such unalloyed +gladness at her coming. + +A girl of fifteen, bewilderingly pretty in the changes that passed over +her mobile face. A complexion that was pink and pearl, golden hair that +was a mass of waves and shining rings that seemed to ray off sunshine +with every movement of the head that had a bird-like poise; a low broad +Clytie brow and eyes that were the loveliest violet color, sometimes +blue, sometimes the tenderest, most appealing gray. Her smile was +captivating, disarming. It played about her lips that shut with dimples +in the corners, it quivered in her eyes and made the whole face radiant. + +Why Zaidee Crawford wasn't spoiled by the indulgence and adulation was +quite a mystery. She had been longed for before her birth--one brother +was seven the other nine years older. Major Crawford thought the tie +between father and daughter was one of the choicest of heaven's +blessings. He was proud of his sons whose straightforward, honorable +careers in the lines they had chosen, to his great satisfaction, gave +him profound happiness. Connected with Zaidee's birth had been the great +sorrow of their lives that had cost Mrs. Crawford years of excruciating +suffering and at first it seemed hopeless invalidism. In one of the +Indian skirmishes the Major had been severely wounded in the leg that +had left it lame and rather stiff. He resigned from the army to devote +himself to his wife and the old residence that had been in his family +for generations. And at this period a relative died and left him a large +fortune. Beyond improving his estate and having the best medical +attendance for his wife there was no real change in their living. They +were both too sensible not to know how easily boys might be led astray +by unwise indulgence in money. They were both high minded with a fine +sense of right and justice. Both had gone down the dark valley and +looked death in the face and thereafter walked humbly before God. + +Zaidee Crawford had been a day scholar except at intervals when her +mother had been taken away for medical treatment. Oddly enough, Mrs. +Crawford as a girl, had been educated by Mrs. Barrington, then a young +and childless widow, with an ardent desire for some useful aim in life, +and they had remained the warmest of friends. Mrs. Barrington's comfort +and faith had cheered many an hour of despondency. + +But the Major had once said--"Margaret, while you can endure the +suffering, always think that I would much rather have you as you are +than to have lost you in that terrible time, and God has spared us our +two fine sons and our sweet daughter." + +Yes, there was much joy still left to life. + +Zay went to her classes as a visitor this morning. There were many +smiles of welcome. After all, she had not fallen so far behind, but her +brother had been coaching her. There were four new scholars in the Latin +class. The Kirklands, Louie Howe, who had been promoted, and a Miss +Boyd, who roused a peculiar interest; but then her rendering in the +translation was exceedingly fine. + +"Who is that tall girl with the bronzy gold hair? And isn't she a fine +reader?" exclaimed Zaidee. + +They were in a little group of old friends. Louie Howe laughed. Phillipa +made a funny face. + +"Well?" and flushing a little she glanced up, inquiringly. + +"The caretaker's daughter. We are democratic this year," announced May +Gedney. + +"The caretaker--" + +"A Mrs. Boyd, a pale little nonentity, but she darns in the most elegant +fashion you ever saw. She had to bring her daughter you see, and the +daughter is to be a teacher--is a sort of charity scholar, looks after +the laggards in the evening, but she keeps her place pretty well. Of +course she lives over on that side," nodding her head. + +"See here," began Phillipa, "that girl has puzzled me with an elusive +resemblance to somebody, Zay, it really is you. Her hair and eyes are +darker, she's larger every way, she is not such a peerless maid--" + +"I shouldn't feel complimented by that! Oh the idea! A girl from--well +somewhere from the wild and woolly west--" + +Much as Phillipa Rosewald loved her friends and she confessed to adoring +Zaidee, she never stopped at a little fling. + +"The compliment, of course, is to Miss Boyd. She has a temper of her +own, you can catch a flash of it in her eyes, and I dare say her iron +rule is what makes her mother so meek. She pets up that Nevins girl who +is a--well they are called Beauty and the Beast. How she managed to +slip in here puzzles me." + +"That girl is my horrid familiar, my _bete noire_. She has the room next +to mine and you ought to see it. Miss Davis marked her down for +untidyness, and Mrs. Barrington put her on a diet, her complexion was so +horrid, but she manages to get a lot of sweets and chocolates. And the +way she dresses! A modiste in New York sends her clothes and told her +the color of one's frocks must match the hair or the eyes, and no one +could match those gray blue green eyes, so it has to be the hair." + +"I wouldn't want that dull brown hair. I don't suppose she ever brushes +it. At home the maid looked after her. The mother is traveling for her +health, and they are very rich." + +"Oh, is she making a confidante of you, too?" laughed May Gedney. "I +thought it rather funny at first, I didn't believe half she said, but +her father is quite an important man in banking circles it seems, and +there are diamonds galore, but he wouldn't let her wear only that +diamond birthday ring at school. She was wildly in love with Miss Boyd +but the girl was too hard hearted to return it. She is a regular icicle +and stony hearted and all that! Yes, her heart is irretrievably gone +about the girl. They did have a kissing match one night but they don't +do it any more in public! I don't know what they do in private, but the +Boyd shut down on gifts which almost broke her heart, and she had spent +two dollars for two orchids." + +"That certainly speaks well for Miss Boyd," Zay exclaimed. + +May flushed. Lately _she_ had been the recipient of some gifts. + +"Of course she is here to train the younger minds in the paths of +knowledge while her mother mends their clothes." + +"Well, is that to be despised?" asked Zay with spirit. + +"Why, no, but of course you don't associate with your dressmaker's +daughter, nor the store clerks though they are nice enough for the +places they have to fill in life. If it wasn't for the mother she might +pass muster, and you know this is the most select of schools. That is +one reason mother sent me here there was no chance of making undesirable +acquaintances. For one thing, the terms are too high," and Louie Howe +bridled. + +"Is this Miss Nevins at the highwater mark?" and there was a touch of +sarcasm in Zay's tone. + +"Oh let's quit the higher criticism," said another. "I want to hear Zay +talk, and you've been to Berlin and that picturesque Dresden. Did you +see the shepherdesses with their crooks, and Corydon making love to +them, and Holland--that funny place of canals and windmills and stumpy +dutchmen." + +"And, oh, did you see the Kaiser?" + +Zay laughed. "Yes, mounted on a fine horse, and the Empress and her +pretty daughter in a state carriage. And Willard went to some sort of +review with the Ambassador and was presented to the Kaiser who asked him +about Annapolis, and some of the training. He thought the great Emperor +very affable. Father has been at a few of the functions and seen the +royal ladies in their state dresses. Then, there are some splendid +professors and scientists--" + +"But you didn't go to Paris?" + +"No. Father and Willard spent ten days there while Aunt Kate and I staid +with mother. Then she could cross the room without a cane, even. Now she +can walk some distance. Oh, girls, its splendid not to have her go on +crutches! And she thinks in two years or so we may go to Paris for quite +a stay. You know real young girls don't understand fine pictures and all +that! Willard begins his three-years cruise early in January, and in the +summer Vincent will graduate and perhaps be sent off somewhere. The +doctors wanted her to spend the whole winter about the Mediterranean, +but she thought it would be so lovely to have our Christmas together." + +"Oh, Zaidee Crawford, you're a girl to be envied! None but the rich, +etc.," with sundry upturnings of the chin. + +"Well, I hope I'll be able to go abroad on a wedding tour. Otherwise I +won't have him!" announced Phillipa with great solemnity at which they +all laughed. + +"Young ladies do you know it is time to go out for exercise," said Miss +Arran. + +"Oh, let us go over to Crawford House," cried Zay. "Why, you will hardly +know it. The two parlors are to be thrown into one--a regular drawing +room, and I'm to have the prettiest study off of my bedroom. I have to +decide what color I shall have them done in." + +"We'll all help you." + +"I just can't have blue and I like it so, but it is the one idea of +blondes, therefore I avoid it." + +"It seems Miss Boyd's favorite color," said Louie. "And she's not so +very blondy, either." + + + + +CHAPTER V + +ZAIDEE + + +They were the usual lot of girls in a sort of hubbub together. With the +exception of the Kirklands they were not taking life seriously as yet. +They studied and sang, painted, wrote verses, sometimes were caught on +trigonometry and occasionally made awful translations in Latin and +French. They changed their ideals, they vowed friendship and fell out +with each other, they were spiteful and willful and sweet and penitent, +and if "a boy's will's the wind's will," a young girl's will in the +unformed years is not much better. + +Phillipa Rosewald was a sort of leader. A kind of charming girl with +many varieties, fascinating, making you like her when she chose and then +giving you pin pricks instead of caresses. Before she put on long +dresses boys were quarrelling about her and she seemed to sandwich love +affairs in with her lessons; she had fine taste in dressing, she could +tie a bow, or trim a hat, or furbish up an evening waist in a manner +that filled her comrades with envy, and she was a fairly good scholar as +well. + +But Zaidee with her graciousness and sweet temper won all hearts. Every +one was eager to have some little claim upon her. Her mother's sad +accident and her father being one of the survivors of a fierce Indian +battle made her a sort of heroine. She was not quite an angel but very +human and with the peculiar sweetness that always disarms criticism. + +And although it was considered a rather aristocratic school there were +the usual feuds and bits of jealousy inseparable from a crowd of girls, +the days in the main passed delightfully, and now they were all +interested in the rehabilitation of Crawford House, the coming of the +young midshipman and the lovely mother who at last had an almost +miraculous restoration to health and strength. + +Crawford House was full of workmen. Aunt Kate was supervisor. Willard +was staying with his parents. + +The house stood on a little eminence and had two terraces that were a +mass of bloom in the summer. A broad portico ran on two sides and at the +end fronting the south there was an imposing tower, many windows. Back +of it was a flower garden, a vegetable garden, barns, carriage house and +a useful little green-house. + +"Dear, I hope the workmen will be through early in December," said Aunt +Kate. "Then there is all the furnishing. Only about six weeks. Does +school seem natural, Zay? Have the girls gone way ahead of you?" + +"I hardly know yet," was the laughing reply. "Mrs. Barrington hasn't +really set me at work." + +"Are there many new scholars?" + +"Not in our department, but it seems nice to be a school girl again and +not a globe trotter." + +"But you didn't go quite round the world." + +"I'm glad there's something left. Look girls, this is my room with the +southern and western exposure. I think I'll have it done in pale green +and pink, Aunt Kate. That will tone down the summer sunshine. Phil and I +have been discussing colors." + +"That will be pretty, and you can _stand_ green. It would turn some +complexions yellow," returned Aunt Kate. + +"How short the days are growing! And it gets dark so soon. Girls, we had +better hurry off home." + +"Shall I order samples of green, Zaidee?" + +"Yes, Aunt Kate, if you please." + +It was quite a treat to sit down at the table with a group of girls. +Madame Eustice talked to them in French and Zay surprised her with her +readiness and improved pronunciations. + +"And I am quite a proficient in German as far as talking goes, I've +heard so much of it, and it seemed so funny at first. Though a good many +of the servants and waiters speak a little English." + +Zay glanced down at the other table. She singled out Miss Nevins who had +quite a fancy hair dressing and a pink bow. But she saw no one she +thought Miss Boyd. Then there was a full hour to the study period. + +Lilian and her mother often took this meal which was only a kind of high +tea in their room. Mrs. Boyd could not overcome a half fear of Mrs. +Dane. Then she read to her mother until it was time to go to the study. +Often she left her mother asleep in the big easy chair. Oh, for some one +to listen and to respond! But the practice was good for her if no one +listened. + +Zay kept glancing furtively down at the table of the younger class. Yes, +there was Miss Boyd. She went toward a pupil, as a small hand was held +up. There was something interesting in the face, and the young student +would glance up and smile. Was there any resemblance, she wondered? The +hair was darker, but the complexion was certainly fine. Miss Nevins had +a peevish look tonight and said something rather cross. Miss Boyd +preserved her serenity. + +Lilian was having quite a delightful new interest in the Trenhams. Her +exercise hour led to a walk down there and an engaging half visionary +talk with Claire who had wonderful adventures with a pretty squirrel who +ran up and down a tree in range with her window. Or it was some belated +bird who had lost his way south and had to hide to keep out of the way +of the hunters. + +"Why do they let them go out and kill the poor birdies?" she asked +plaintively. "I should think it would be braver to go to Africa and +shoot lions and tigers and those cruel animals that eat up human beings, +and the dear pretty little squirrels!" + +"Why, indeed?" Lilian had often thought of it herself. + +Or it would be a story of a fairy who had a long search for a charmed +ring that would bestow a wonderful power over everything in the forest +and give the animals the gift of speech. Claire told one, Lilian must +take the next. + +"Edith comes home so tired sometimes. You are always fresh," the child +said. + +Then the girl would meet Edith who would turn about and walk with her +and listen to the hopes and ambitions and dreams she could tell to no +one else. So she had a comforting secret life. + +Zaidee Crawford made two or three slight advances, but they were +distantly received, and Zay was not used to being rebuffed. She was not +much of an analyst and thought Miss Boyd very cold natured. But now and +then the enthusiasm of the true student broke out in some class +recitation and it transfigured her. + +"Our pupil teacher quite distinguished herself today," said Phillipa +Rosewald, "though I must say it was in exceedingly bad taste." + +"Why bad taste?" asked Zay. "I thought it fine." + +"She might have been a little more modest. You see, my dear child, we +are not preparing for teachers nor to vulgarly distinguish ourselves. I +thought Miss Grayson did not quite like it. Are you really growing fond +of your double? But I can't imagine you standing up in that bold +fashion." + +Zay was silent. It always annoyed her to have Miss Boyd called her +double. The figure and manner was so different. Zay was so light and +airy, she seemed rather to skim over space than to walk, and every +motion was replete with grace, while Miss Boyd was stately, and when +critical eyes were upon her, sometimes seemed awkward. + +Miss Nevins certainly was improving. Thanks to Mrs. Barrington's regimen +her complexion had cleared up, she kept her hair in a tidier fashion. +May Gedney had insisted upon her wearing something beside the dismal +browns. + +"Send this to your dressmaker and have a green suit trimmed with bands +of gray fur--if it won't be too extravagant." + +"Oh, father will pay the bill. He hasn't much idea of what things cost." + +"See here--I know a lovely dressmaker in Livingston. I sometimes go +there. Mrs. Barrington would let us go over with Miss Davis, I am sure, +and as she keeps samples we could choose, and she could take your +measure. I don't believe it would cost half as much, and will be +prettier. Your clothes are too old." + +"Oh, you are an angel," and May had to submit to an embrace. + +Mrs. Barrington agreed. She gave Miss Nevins some money. + +"As they are going on your business you must pay their expenses," she +said. + +Miss Nevins felt really grand. This was a true friend. + +One evening she thrust a note in Lilian's hand. She had taken a seat on +the other side of the table. + +Lilian read it in her room. She smiled, yet she felt a little hurt after +all she had done for Alice. + +"I hope you won't feel bad because I changed my seat. Some of those +hateful girls called us Beauty and the Beast. I know I am not handsome, +but then rich people seldom are, and I don't think you are so very. I +have a new dear friend who really does care for me and is going to plan +about my clothes. Of course you don't know how the real style ought to +dress, and I don't think mamma would like me to be intimate with a girl +whose mother was caretaker here. It's such a pity she is, for if she +wasn't here you wouldn't need to say anything about it and would be more +respected. I hope you won't be mad.--Alice." + +"I won't be ashamed of her, poor dear mother," Lilian said resolutely. +But if she were like Mrs. Trenham, and the change would not be so very +great, she mused. + +Miss Nevins avoided her for the next few days. Lilian did not seem to +notice it. + +Mrs. Barrington called the girls together one evening. + +"Young ladies," she began, "I have a plan to lay before you. There have +always been some Hallowe'en plays and tricks that often seem both +childish and reprehensible. I am going to propose you lay aside all +these and instead let me give you a party with music, dancing and some +refreshments. I will invite the young gentlemen of the neighborhood, +many of whom you have met at church and elsewhere. What do you say?" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, that is utterly lovely." + +Phillipa Rosewald sprang up and clasped both hands. There was a bevy of +girls about her and they all talked at once. + +"Understand, there are to be no tricks played in each other's rooms. You +have been making very good progress so far this year and I am sincerely +pleased. As many of you will go away on Saturday there can be no +Christmas festivities, but this may be quite as pleasant." + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, it will be just delightful!" cried Phillipa with +enthusiasm. "Thank you a dozen times for thinking of it." + +"You have accepted some invitations from outside and it seems the thing +to return them. Every girl will be at her liberty to ask one guest and +there are several I wish to invite. I hope you will have a happy time." + +"Oh, we are sure of that." + +"And now I hope your scholarship will be excellent at the winter +examinations. It will be the last year for some of you and for your +parents' sake I hope you will stand high." + +The leisure of the next two days was spent working out lists. + +"Oh," declared May Gedney, "I'd like to invite at least four. Ally and +Archie Holmes, and the Pridhams. I suppose we can ask a young +gentleman?" + +"Let us make a list and divide up. Archie Holmes is such a delightful +dancer, and Allie is so full of fun, and so many of us were at her +birthday party." + +"Do you suppose the smaller fry will invite their friends?" + +"I think not, though they may be allowed to come in as spectators." + +"That Nevins girl is a pretty dancer. What lots of fancy things she +knows." + +"I don't imagine we will have any high flings," laughing. + +"Well, May, you ask Ally, and Nelly White ask Archie. That's the way we +must pair off, and divide up the Pridhams. We must only ask one girl in +a family. I'm afraid we won't have boys enough to go round." + +"Then some of the girls will have to play Knights as we do in the +practices." + +After much study they presented their list to Mrs. Barrington who +thought it very judicious. She said she had several gentlemen to add. + +Then there was a time about the frocks. Miss Nevins unpacked two party +gowns that had remained in her trunk when it was taken up stairs. A +pretty rather simple white cluna silk and a pink satin. + +"Oh, the satin is altogether too ornate, too really old," declared +Phillipa. + +"But it's so much prettier," longingly. + +"I don't know about that, and I can tell you Mrs. Barrington will hustle +it back in the box mighty quick. The party is for the older girls. You +will simply be allowed in to look and partake of the treat if you are +well behaved little girls." + +Miss Nevins pouted. + +Her new winter suit had come home and it was really admirable, making +her look like quite a different girl. + +"I don't see what that New York dressmaker can be thinking about. She +makes a regular guy of her. And since Mrs. Barrington shut down on so +much sweet stuff how her complexion has improved. But the morning baths +are a terror to her. She is sure she can keep clean on a wash once a +week." + +"And girls, every time her mother wrote she enclosed five dollars. She +didn't give any account of that for awhile, and Mrs. Barrington was +quite affronted when her mother advised her to go to a restaurant now +and then to get a good meal. I must say our living here is of the very +best." + +There was no dissenting voice. + +They were all in a gale about the party. There was always a lawn fete +when school closed in June at which the girls invited relatives and +friends. Hallowe'en had been devoted to tricks in each other's room, +sewing up sheets, sprinkling cayenne pepper and rice, and occasionally +putting a toad in the bed if one could be found, or an artificial one +would answer the purpose. Mrs. Barrington had made some appeals, but +this new plan was a decided success. The girls were gay and eager with +delight, and wonder who of the young men of the town would be asked. + +Mrs. Barrington called Lilian in her room and spoke of the party, giving +her a special invitation. + +"It is very kind of you," the girl answered, "and I hope you will not +think me ungrateful if I decline. I am not used to gayeties of this +kind, and"--with a smile--"I have no party dress." + +"That can easily be remedied. I really think you are making a mistake by +effacing yourself so readily on all occasions. You are becoming a fine +scholar and I am much interested in your welfare. Your hour in the study +room is not at all detrimental--" + +"There are other things. Oh, Mrs. Barrington let me keep to my own +sphere. I have always been poor, I have not been much among what are +called better class girls, but I do know they have better advantages and +are trained in pretty and attractive society ways. Public schools are +more on a level. I am not finding fault. My heart is full of gladness +for this lovely offer that came to my mother and me. Some of the young +ladies have been very kind. Believe me I am happy, but I should feel out +of place in a gay party." + +She looked really beautiful standing there, the bright flush coming and +going over her face, her mouth with its winsome curves, her eyes so full +of gratitude and candor. What was the elusive remembrance? + +"You shall do as you like in this matter," returned Mrs. Barrington. +"But at the beginning of the new term I propose to have matters on a +somewhat different footing. You will end by being my best scholar." + +"Oh, thank you a thousand times for taking so much interest in me. I +hope I shall be able to repay you." + +"My dear child some of the best things in the world are done without +pay. Appreciation is better and you have a great deal of that." + +The party was a great success. Several of the older graduates were asked +in. There was music, some conversational plays where quick wit was +necessary and in this Phillipa excelled. Then the dancing was charming +to the young crowd. They were very merry over the refreshments, then +dancing again. + +"It's been just delightful! I never had such a good time in my life. Oh, +Mrs. Barrington, how can we ever thank you," and a dozen other glad +acknowledgments. They were all tired enough to tumble into bed, with no +thought of tricks to disturb them. + +Miss Nevins admitted that she had a first class time. "Only I wish I had +been up in more dances. And if they'd had some fancy dances! I do love +them so!" + +"Hardly at such a party," said Phillipa, dryly. "And the maid of the +evening who did not come. Do you suppose she was asked?" inquired Louie +Howe. + +"Oh, she would have come quick enough if she'd had anything to wear," +subjoined Miss Gedney. "Well, I'm glad she didn't or wasn't. It would +have been rather embarrassing." + +"When I meet her abroad in the capacity of attendant to some charming +young lady I should not know her, of course." + +There was a laugh at that. + +Then began the mouth of real study though there were a few heart +burnings that Miss Boyd should come up to the best in some of the +classes. + +November was unusually beautiful and the week of Indian summer a dream +for a poet. Lilian's afternoon hour out of doors was the concentration +of delight. The handsome town, the picturesque houses, where late +blooming flowers were a delight on many a lawn, the peaceful winding +river whose shadows seemed to depict a fascinating underworld, the +rising ground beyond with its magnificent trees, its tangled nooks of +shrubbery with scarlet berries, so stirred Lilian's fine nature that she +felt as if she must burst into poesy. + +No, she would never give up the splendid, inspiriting dreams of youth. +Ambitious and noble natures are often haunted by romantic ideals and +glimpses of the future reaching up to unharmful standards that did seem +possible. These dreams were better than the feverish, vitiating novels +some of the girls poured over in private. + +She was making a warm friend of Edith Trenham, who was often puzzled by +her. How did she get this wonderful insight into such a beautiful world +full of possible endeavor. + +The simple prettiness of the Trenham home was very charming to her. This +was what she would make for her mother, only there would be a little +more. Portfolios of engravings, a vase from Japan, a curious Indian +ornament with ages back of it. Already Barrington House was shaping her +taste in many matters. + +Then it was a pleasure to talk to the imaginative Claire who reveled in +the Knights of Arthur's time, the tastes of Mythology which she twisted +about to suit her fancy. + +"I like Miss Lilian so much," she would say. "She has traveled in so +many countries. She knows all about Eskimo babies and little Chinese +girls who can't go anywhere because they have such crooked feet. And we +play at going to see them, and they give us such curious things to eat. +And there are real little Greek children, who lived in Bible times. Oh, +it's just lovely!" + +"You make Claire very happy," Edith would say in a fond tone. + +"I like to make her happy, and I want to make my mother happy. She has +had such a hard life." + +"You are a dear daughter." + +Was she being a dear daughter to her mother? Mrs. Boyd seemed to grow +more distant, more dreary and absent. Sometimes between classes she +would run in and take her mother's work, read to her evenings, but then +she always fell asleep; but the girl went on. It was more company to +read aloud. Just now she was deep in the making of Beautiful Florence. +Oh, would she ever get to know all the famous cities of the world? + +How the time sped on! There was one snow storm, not a very deep one, but +enough to call out the sleighs, and what a fairyland it made of Mount +Morris. Saturday all the girls chipped in and hired a big sleigh and a +laughing crew of ten had what they thought the merriest time of their +lives. + +Just as they were getting out Louie Howe caught her skirt on something +and there was a tear. + +"Oh, girls! My best Sunday skirt! And we--some of us are invited to Mrs. +Westlake's to dinner, and she goes away on Monday. Oh, I wonder if Mrs. +Boyd can mend it fit to be seen! I can't take it to the tailors now." + +"She darns beautifully." + +"Well, that's what she's here for; mender in general." + +"But it seems dreadful to ask her to do it in the evening, and the +daylight is almost gone." + +Louie hated to give up whatever her mind was set upon. She hurriedly +changed her frock and put on a light evening dress. With her skirt in +hand she crossed the hall. The door stood open. The house was always +warm. Mrs. Boyd sat in an easy chair. Helen on one of the fancy stools +under the gas burner with a book in her hand. Louie swept past her. + +"Oh, Mrs. Boyd. I want you to mend my skirt. I've given it a dreadful +tear. I can't take it to the tailors and four of us are invited out to +dinner after church, so I must have it." + +Mrs. Boyd rose and examined it. "It is a bad tear, but if you _must_ +have it--" + +"Yes, I surely must. O, I think you can do it. There's the whole +evening." + +Then she turned away. Lilian's temper flared up at white heat. + +"Oh, mother, why didn't you tell her you could not? She has other +dresses to wear. Let me take it back to her--" + +"No, dear, I'll do it. Light the lamp for me. Why you know that's part +of my business," and Mrs. Boyd gave a tremulous little laugh. + +"I think Mrs. Barrington would not have such a thing done on Saturday +night," was her resolute reply, but she lighted the lamp and brought her +mother's work table with its handy cabinet. + +"You see a good part of it will go under this plait. Oh Lilian, do not +mind such little things." + +The insolent manner had hurt the girl keenly. Louie was on the promotion +list and would graduate in June. She held her head very high. Her father +had promised her a handsome watch with a beautiful neck chain that could +be detached when required and she felt sure of it now. + +Mrs. Boyd basted the tear on a piece of cloth and began her work. + +"Lilian," she said, "will you go and see if there is an iron on the +range, and ask cook if I can come down by and by." + +Then she began her work. The underneath part at first, but somehow her +hand trembled. Lilian watched with an indignant, aching heart. After +awhile her mother leaned back with a sigh. + +"I believe I shall have to get glasses," she said wearily. "I cannot do +fine work in the evening. I am afraid I shall spoil it, and I've always +been such a neat worker." + +"Let me finish," said the girl. Every inch of her protested, but it was +for her mother's sake. Lately she had done several things to ease her. + +"Yes, let me," she went on, taking the work from her mother's hands. +"You know I can darn nicely." + +Lilian took infinite pains. It was slow work, but at last it was +accomplished. + +"You are such a dear, good daughter, and it is said booky people are +never anything with a needle, but you could get your living with it." + +Then she took her work down stairs and came back flushed and smiling. + +"Look, Lilian," in a tone of pride, "it hardly shows! Cook said she +never saw more beautiful darning and that in a big city I could make a +fortune at lace mending. Will you take it to Miss Howe?" + +"No, mother," and Lilian spoke in a dignified but not unkindly manner. +"We are not here to run and wait on the girl. Let Miss Howe come for +it." + +Mrs. Boyd felt disappointed. She wanted some one beside cook to praise +her handiwork. + +Louie fidgeted about her skirt. She and Zay were in Phil's room talking +over the coming Christmas and Mrs. Crawford's return. + +"I wonder why that girl doesn't bring my skirt. Maybe they've spoiled +it." + +"Have you sent a maid?" + +"Why no. I meant Miss Boyd. She oughtn't be above such things." + +"Still, she isn't here to run on errands. I think Mrs. Barrington treats +her quite as if she were a scholar, and she's a fine one, too." + +"Some day she'll brag of having been educated here, though Mount Morris +doesn't set out to furnish teachers, but the training of young ladies. +Mother likes it because there was no opportunity of making undesirable +acquaintances," and Louie gave her head a toss. + +"Is Miss Nevins so very desirable?" asked Zay with a flash of mirth in +her eye. + +"Still, if you met her abroad as a rich banker's daughter or heard of +her being presented to the Queen--" + +"Girls, don't quarrel about either one of them. Alice Nevins is a fool +and always will be. Lilian Boyd is smart and ambitious but there _is_ +the bar sinister. Her mother isn't the sort of person to come up in the +world and when Miss Lilian gets there she'll ship off her old mother, +put her in an Old Woman's Home. I despise that toss of her head, just as +if she was up to the highest mark already; but they are not worth +disputing about." + +Zaidee Crawford drew a long breath. She had almost courage enough to +stand up for her, then she remembered some one had said you were never +sure that some disgraceful thing might come out. Who knew anything about +her father? There was a good deal of pride of birth at Mount Morris as +is apt to be the case where well to do people have lived for a century +or so. + +Louie sent a maid for her skirt and admitted that a tailor couldn't have +done it better. + +"Only a week" the girls said with their good night to each other. + +Not that they were so tired of school, but Christmas was a joyous +occasion, and going home a treat. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +AN ESCAPADE AND WHAT CAME OF IT + + +The closing week of school was full of girlish excitements. Friday and +Saturday most of the girls would go home. Christmas came on the +following Monday. The Miss Kirklands were going to remain and devote the +time to study. Alice Nevins and Elma Ransome had no homes to go to at +present. Mrs. Barrington generally took this for a resting-up time. + +Louie rushed into Phillipa's room, breathless and eyes full of wonder. +There was some fancy things strewn around. Phil and Zaidee were at some +gifts. + +"What now? Has there been a mistake in the calendar and is Christmas put +off and are we to be aliens from the family bosom?" + +Louie laughed and fanned herself vigorously. + +"I've been hearing wonderful things about that Clairvoyant. Do you +really know what clairvoyance is? It isn't mere fortune telling. Madge +Hayne went the other day and she was told some really remarkable things. +They had not heard from that brother in a year and didn't know whether +he was dead or alive. She said they would hear from him and that he +would return soon with a fortune, and this very morning the letter came. +He's been in Alaska and British Columbia and goodness knows where all, +and he's tired of rambling and hardships. So he's coming home as he has +made his pile, which I suppose means a fortune. They are all just wild +with joy, and there are to be two marriages this year." + +"Then Madge's lover will get his promotion. That is what she is waiting +for," laughed Phil. "But I have heard that the woman told some wonderful +things." + +"And while we were abroad in the summer Aunt Kate and I took little +tours around; we were at a Fair in a small town where there were some +real Romany gypsies and one insisted on reading Aunt Kate's future. She +spoke of mamma's walking without crutches, which we couldn't believe and +said after we came home something mysterious would happen to us, that a +member of the family would come from a great distance, that the person +who had her in charge would die, but Aunt Kate laughed and said we had +had no mysterious marriages nor sudden disappearances, so that could +hardly come true." + +Phillipa had been considering. "Girls let's go," she exclaimed. "Mrs. +Barrington didn't actually forbid it. She said: 'Girls I hope none of +you will be foolish enough to spend your money on such nonsense. Those +people are generally impostors.' I'd like to have a peep into the +future. There's a young man I am interested in. Now, if he's all fair +and square and means business--" + +"You're always on the anxious seat of lovers," said Louie, "and you seem +to have them by dozens." + +"I want the very best and richest. Girls, my mother was married when she +was seventeen, and I'll be nineteen in June; but she didn't go to +boarding school for three years and waste her time." + +"And I want a tour abroad--a winter or summer in Paris--which is most +attractive, and there may be a little chance of some one leaving father +a fortune. Oh, let us go--just for the fun if nothing else," and Louie +glanced up in her radiant prettiness. + +There is something tempting to the young in a peep in the wide +mysterious future. Joys and the so-called good luck are delights to hope +for and it is seldom that any dark pages are unfolded to youth. So the +girls talked and agreed to go the next afternoon. + +Examinations were in the morning and the girls had the afternoon to +themselves. Four were going to a musicale, half a dozen to do some last +shopping. + +"We'll put on something out of the ordinary line," said Phil. "Hoods and +veils and I'll wear my old gray coat. Mother would make me bring it and +I've not had it on once. We'll trot across the park, shortest route, and +hold our heads down." + +"And then run round to Crawford House and have some hot chocolate," said +Zay. + +It was a winter when Tam o' Shanters were all the rage. Zay had a white +one with two fluffy rose-colored rosettes. As she passed through the +hall she saw Clara Arnold's blue one lying on the bed. She had always +tabooed blue. Now with a sudden impulse she put it on. Clara had gone to +the musicale and would not be home until late. Then she gathered up her +curls and stuffed them in the crown. Yes, she did suggest the Boyd girl. +The resemblance teased her, and the girls had found that out. She wound +a veil around her head and they stole through the hall when it was +deserted and went scuddering through the Park. + +It was a cloudy afternoon, not one to go out for pleasure, and then +everybody had wanted to go down town. Mrs. Trenham lived in the corner +house. There was a garden space between, then a high fence. Phillipa +rang the bell. + +A rather unkempt, middle-aged woman answered it. + +"Could we see the Clairvoyant?" + +"Well," hesitatingly. "All of you? I'm rather--yes, walk in." + +The room was untidy, the books on the table dusty, and some clothing +thrown over several chairs. + +"Young girls always want a peep in the future," and she gave an abrupt +laugh. "You don't any of you look as if you needed medical advice. My, I +seldom see such rosy, good looking girls. Now, I'll tell you--it's a +dollar if I go into a trance and see you inside, up and down and I can +tell to a T whether there's anything the matter. But I don't believe you +want that. S'pose I just run over the cards and see what kind of a +Christmas you're going to have and how many lovers and who's going to +wear a diamond. That's fifty cents." + +"That's enough to spend on such foolery," laughed Phillipa. + +She pushed out some chairs and took up a pack of cards, threw them +aside and took a clean pack off of the mantlepiece. "Now you try first," +motioning to Phillipa. "Why I can see by your face there's lots of +fortune coming to you. You're the kind of girl men quarrel over." + +She had become a very astute reader of faces and could tell by the +brightening of an eye or the movement of a feature whether she was on +the right tack. + +"Your home isn't here and you are going to it in a few days. You +see--here's the house and there's a distance between," pointing out the +cards. "They are making a big time and lots of company, a great +Christmas dinner, and a dance in the evening, and you'll get kissed +under the mistletoe--but you won't marry that man. There's two of +them--three of them and two offers of marriage. Some one you haven't +seen much of, and there'll be talk of a diamond." + +She shuffled the cards and ran over them again, enlarging upon the +lovers and jealous girls as well as men, presents and fun. "But you're +going to turn your back on it all and you don't want to a bit, and +you're going to have some trouble, and a journey with a trunk, and--why +you'll be in school and you'll be most crazy to hear from the young man +with the diamond, but you just keep your faith, he'll be all right and +there'll be a wedding before the leaves fall. Oh, you'll be as happy as +a queen." + +Phillipa laughed and nodded. + +"Now, you next," to Zaidee. + +Zay hesitated, but took the chair Phillipa vacated. + +At first she seemed a puzzle to the fortune teller. "She had traveled a +good deal. Some one was coming across water that she would be glad to +see--three people, a fair lady who had had a great deal of trouble, +sickness, but was well now. Why they would soon be here and all have +Christmas dinner together. There would be a great surprise with a fair +young man who cared a great deal for her, and there were wonderful +surprises that wouldn't make her happy at first. Here was a strange +girl--but she doesn't want to come. Gifts and friends, and this stout +man--your father," and she knew by Zay's face she had guessed right. "He +is very fond of you--oh, you needn't ever be afraid any one will crowd +you out. Plenty of lovers, too, when it comes your time; a happy +marriage and children, and prosperity. A little sickness, but nothing to +be alarmed about." + +Louie's fortune did not seem so serene. "She was at school and would go +home to keep Christmas. This was elaborated in very agreeable styles. +Then she would come back, but she would be troubled about a prize, be +disappointed in a girl friend who would try to injure her and who would +say mean things, but she must not mind them. Then there were journeys +and pleasures and lovers, but she would not marry very young and would +be engaged twice, and oddly enough be married the second time." + +Then they rose, gathered up their wraps and the fortune teller her +money, with profuse wishes for their happiness and a merry Christmas, +and shut the door. Zay was leading and opened the hall door, stepping +out on the stoop. + +"Oh, my goodness! There's the Dane across the way! Let us run out back +and across lots" and they started in a huddle, opening the door that led +to another room. + +"You can't come in here," declared a voice but they pushed through to +the outer door, flew down the path and across a space over to the next +street, but did not stop until they had reached the side gate to +Crawford House. + +"It's only three of us girls," exclaimed Zay. "We are going to my +room." + +Then they stood in breathless terror, looking in each other's faces. +Phillipa gave a half hysterical laugh, dropped into a chair and went on +laughing. + +"I don't see anything funny," said Louie. "And to come so near being +caught! Do you suppose the Dane was watching out--suspecting? And that +horrid smell in the room, and the girl holding up one of those boys who +was struggling for breath--" + +"You had a good view, Louie," sarcastically. + +"Well, I was behind. Oh, what if it was small pox?" and Louie was white +as a ghost. + +"Small pox! Louie don't be an idiot! See here, we'd heard a thing like +that quick enough. Now I'll tell you--Zay have you any aromatic ammonia? +Let's all take a dose to quiet our nerves and ward off whatever it may +be, and get a lump of gum camphor to take to bed with us tonight, and +Louie if you dare to act suspicious I'll murder you." + +"I don't think it was just the thing for her to let us in if there was +any sickness." + +"I wanted a _real_ Clairvoyant. They do tell you wonderful things, but +she hit a good deal about you, Zay. I wonder who is coming to try to +oust you out? Oh, maybe your brother will bring home a wife." + +"I shouldn't like that," the girl said frankly. "And maybe he will be +sent on a three years' cruise and leave her with us!" + +"Nonsense! Don't bother your pretty curly head. Here let us all take our +composing draught and then wend our way to school with a bold front. +Only we must have some other hats." + +"I'll wear my Gainsborough, and you, Phil, shall have my brown turban +with the bunch of plumes. Louie--" + +"Let me wear the black straw with those yellow daisies. I almost grudge +that to you." + +"Then take it as a Christmas gift." + +The cook stopped them in the hall and said they must have a cup of hot +chocolate. The wind was blowing up cold. + +Then they started home in very good spirits. It was well they had +changed their headgear. Mrs. Dane sat in the hall looking over some +mail. She glanced up and nodded, but she had some suspicions and she +meant to see who came home wearing a light blue Tam. + +Zay flung her borrowed article on Miss Arnold's bed. She had not come +home from the musicale yet. + +Lilian Boyd had gone out for her usual walk. She wanted to see some +pretty things Claire was making for Christmas, but before she reached +the corner she saw Edith Trenham coming rapidly from her mother's, so +she halted. + +"Oh, Lilian--don't go. You can't see Claire--" + +"Is she ill?" in affright. + +"No, no, only--come with me to the druggist; I can't tell you just +now--oh, I'll write you a note. You cannot go there this week. Mother +has a friend staying with her and I have gone to Mrs. Lane's to board +for a week, there is so much school work just now." + +"How very mysterious you are," studying her while she colored under the +scrutiny. + +"Well, it threatens snow and it would be easier for me there. Don't +worry about us--I'll write this evening and tell you the 'whys;' and now +dear, don't feel vexed if I leave you. I have a number of errands to do, +and I'll surely see you on Sunday." + +She had taken a few steps, then she turned and said: "Lilian, do not +mention meeting me today; I ask it as a favor. I will explain it all to +you. Trust me." + +What did it mean? _Was_ Claire ill? She had never seen Miss Trenham so +confused. Evidently she could not have her come to the house. Lilian +felt curiously dismal. There were the shops in holiday attire, but she +said she did not feel joyous, Christmasy. She rambled about a little. +There was the Clairvoyant's sign. Could any one tell about the future, +even another's health? For, somehow it seemed as if her mother had been +curiously distraught of late. If she _could_ know about the future! Oh, +her mother must live the year out, and she was learning a great many +things. She would do for an under teacher then, and by the time she was +twenty-- + +It was cloudy and raw and she hurried up a little. A merry group of +girls passed her laughing and chatting. Why, she had never felt so +alone, not even back in Laconia. Last Christmas had been gay and +pleasant with girls in Sunday and everyday school. + +She went in at the side entrance. She could have taken the other but +this was nearer. She had the right to a good many privileges that under +some circumstances she would have claimed, but the supercillious nod or +the lifting of the brows cut like a knife. Her place was on her +mother's side. + +Mrs. Dane opened her door on the landing and crossed the hall. + +"Oh, you have returned. Did you see your friend, Miss Trenham?" There +was something curious in the tone. + +"I did not go to the house." Yet she colored as if it was a +prevarication. + +"No?" was all the comment in the same tone. + +But her mother was not so easily put off. + +"Did you see your pretty invalid friend and her Christmas work?" + +"No, I did not go in." + +"That's queer. I thought you were going there. Where, then, did you go?" + +"Oh, I only walked around and said over French verbs. It's grown very +chilly." + +"Yes. Miss Arran came in and opened a window. I felt so cold--I wish +people would let you have your room as you want it. They can swing +their's wide open if they want to." + +She was lying on the bed. She looked old and gray and wrinkled. + +"Do you feel poorly, mother?" + +"No, not when I am good and warm." + +"Shall we have tea together here?" + +"I don't want any, I'm very comfortable now. You go and get yours." + +But Lilian sent for it, yet she could not persuade her mother to taste +the toast or the bit of broiled steak. She was hungry. + +Afterward she took up her book to study as she was not due down stairs. +Then there was a tap at the door. + +"Mrs. Barrington would like to see you in her room," was the message. + +She walked thither. Mrs. Dane sat there in her austerest fashion. + +"Miss Boyd," she said, "were you at your friend's, Mrs. Trenham's, this +afternoon?" + +Lilian flushed at the repeated question. + +"I was not," she said rather hesitatingly. "I meant to go, but"--then +she paused. She must not say she met Edith. + +Mrs. Barrington's penetrating eyes were fixed on her face and brought a +vivid color to it. + +"Were you at any other person's house?" + +"No, I was not," she answered quietly. Oh, what does it all mean? + +"Do you mean to deny that you were at the Clairvoyant's from half past +four to about five?" Mrs. Dane said in her most judicial manner. + +Lilian flushed indignantly but her voice was unsteady as she said--"I +was not there, if you"--then she paused. + +"Think again. I saw you walking about nearly at the corner. I went to +make a call on a friend who is ill. When I came out I walked a few +doors, when I saw the Clairvoyant's door open and a girl stepped out on +the stoop. I think there was some one behind her. She saw me and bolted +back in the hall. There are just two girls in the school who have light +blue Tams. Miss Arnold went to a musicale and found hers lying on the +bed just where she left it. I watched, but you did not come out again. +Then I walked around to the rear but saw no one. I had a fair glance at +your face, I think I cannot be mistaken." + +Lilian was speechless with amazement. + +"I met Miss Trenham at the side of the park and we walked together a +short distance. Believe it or not, I went to no one's house." + +"It is important for us to know the truth on account of the terrible +ending," said Mrs. Barrington gravely. "Two boys have been ill with what +their mother thought was measles. The doctor was not sent for until +noon, and did not get there until nearly six. He found one boy dead of +malignant scarlet fever, the other dying and one girl seriously ill. So +you see we cannot afford to have contagion brought in the house!" + +"Oh, what a horrible thing!" Lilian cried. Then she faced Mrs. Dane. +"Oh, you are mistaken, as God hears me, I was not in that house nor on +that side of the street," and she almost gasped for breath. + +"You may go to your room. You will be excused from study hour tonight. +We must consider. I am glad it is so near closing time." + +Lilian felt like one dazed. Yet she was passionately indignant when she +had reached her room. There might be other blue Tams in the town but she +did not remember to have seen many in light blue except Miss Arnold's. +Somehow, Mrs. Dane had never taken to her cordially like Miss Arran and +the teachers. + +Mrs. Barrington was much distressed. She had become warmly interested in +Lilian. She had smiled a little over Mrs. Dane's strictures. + +"There's something about her, a sort of loftiness that doesn't belong to +her life, though she takes things with outward calmness, but I have a +feeling that some day she will break out in an awful tempest, and I +doubt her being that woman's daughter. Mrs. Boyd never talks frankly +about her," Mrs. Dane said, severely. + +"But she is devoted to the poor mother." + +"Well, it seems so," rather reluctantly. + +After dinner Mrs. Barrington summoned Miss Arran and laid the matter +before her. She listened with a kind of terrified interest. + +"I can't believe Miss Boyd would tell such a dreadful falsehood, when +she saw the necessity of the truth. Mrs. Dane has very strong +prejudices. That Nevins girl is about her size and has a long braid of +fair hair." + +"Oh, she was in disgrace in her room, but what a horrible thing that it +should have gone on without even a physician, or any care to prevent the +spread of contagion. Well--I suppose tomorrow it will be all over town. +I gave Matthew strict orders to say nothing about it tonight." + +Presently Mrs. Barrington knocked at Mrs. Boyd's door. Lilian opened it. +She had been crying. Now she stretched out her hands imploringly. + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington you cannot believe I would tell you such a cruel, +willful falsehood! I was not even very near that house. After all your +kindness to me--" + +"There, dear, I believe _you_. I know there has been some mistake. Mrs. +Dane has always been so anxious, one might say jealous for my welfare, +and you see this would mean a great deal to me. You must pardon her +until the truth comes out." + +"Oh, thank you a thousand times," cried Lilian in broken tones, her eyes +suffused with tears. + +"You need not come down to the study this evening. How is your mother?" + +"She is having a lovely sleep." + +"Do not say anything to her, and the girls will be going away before +there is any real fright. I do not anticipate any danger with us. Be +comforted. We shall hear all tomorrow." + +Lilian was almost happy. She had not lost her dear friend. Under any +other circumstances Lilian would have given Mrs. Barrington an +unreasoning adoration. She could not define it to herself. She liked +Miss Arran, but this was beyond a mere kindly liking. + +"She believes in me, she believes in me," and the girl poured the +fragrant balm on her wounded heart. But there seemed an awful undefined +fear. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +A SUPREME MOMENT + + +The girls in the study were looking furtively at one another. Was this a +sort of surprise to be sprung upon them? + +"Oh, Miss Marsh, do you know what this means? I can't make beginning or +middle out of it. Why doesn't Miss Boyd come?" + +"Yes, where is airy fairy Lilian? I think some other life she must have +been a soundless ghost. You look up and she is there. Then she +disappears." + +"I'm glad some of the girls will have to stay through vacation," said +Alice Nevins. "It will be awful poky, I wish I could go to New York and +the theatre every night." + +"Every other night would do for me," said Phillipa, "and here I've two +French exercises to go over. One has five errors--blunders, and the +other three. Madame Eustice wants to go at twelve tomorrow. Miss Vincent +do take pity on me when you go to Paris. I've heard it said you can't +talk it until you've studied it all over again. Oh, what's the use of so +much weariness of heart and brain!" + +No one came. Then in girl fashion they stirred up a sort of gale, saying +funny things and making droll misquotations, or putting the wrong name +to others and wondering what would be in the Christmas stockings. + +"I must leave a pack behind to be darned up. I hope I'll get two boxes +of new ones. Girls, you wouldn't dare offer your old ones to Miss Boyd, +would you? I have some pretty ones and those plaited silk. They wear +better than real silk. Mother thinks they're good enough for school." + +"I don't suppose Miss Boyd has any relatives. It would be rather tough +not to have _any_ gifts. Girls, oughtn't we chip in--" + +"No, we ought not," replied Phil, decisively. "The maid and the +laundress are the only ones I remember at Christmas. Mrs. Barrington has +sensibly forbidden the giving of tips, and since we don't pretend to be +friends it would be a bad precedent." + +"Miss Boyd is an excellent scholar," said Miss Vincent. + +"If she couldn't learn something higher she might as well stay on the +lower rounds," sneered some one. "They relegate these things better in +England. A housemaid's daughter is generally a housemaid." + +"I think I have heard of people coming up from the ranks in favored +England," was the dry rejoinder. + +"Oh, let's let her alone. She'll make her way with that high head of +hers. Perhaps she will be President of some college yet." + +Then they went back to fun. At nine Miss Arran came in and dismissed +them. + +Zay was thinking how solitary the girl must be. Oh, if her mother were +not the general mender! Even if she were a sort of charity scholar! And +she was going to have such a splendid Christmas. Her dear, beloved +mother able to get about by herself, and all the rest of their lives to +be such friends, to go abroad together, to visit picture galleries, +points of interest and compare notes. For Mrs. Crawford had been finely +educated and even the prospect of being an invalid for life had not made +her relax her hold on intellectuality. She had been a delightful friend +to her boys and they were proud enough of her, but Zay would always be +her supreme darling. + + * * * * * + +Some of the last exercises and conditions were marked off the next day. +Madame Eustice and two of the girls went home. A box came for Miss +Nevins and the girls thronged around at her invitation while Nat drew +out the nails that had fastened it securely, and lifted out a lighter +box. + +"That's from Madame I know, and I have frocks enough here for winter. +Oh, that's a splendid fruit cake, and nuts and that's candied orange and +a box of fruit, and this is some sort of jewelry." + +She tore off the wrapping eagerly. A long _lapis lazuli_ chain with a +beautiful pendant and links of exquisite color, and a pair of bracelets +to match. + +"It's elegant," pronounced Phillipa. "I never go crazy over it myself +and it seems too old for a girl; the sort of thing for a dowager to wear +on state occasions. Now, let us see the frock." + +A beautiful, fine albatross cloth in itself appropriate, but betrimmed +with pipings of satin and lace. + +"Why it looks like a wedding gown. You'll have to save it for there will +be no occasion to wear it here. Not even graduation and the lawn fete, +for then we all wear simple white muslin. That is Mrs. Barrington's +law." + +"Oh, dear, and it is so beautiful!" on a half cry. "You see, mamma +thought being a high-up school there would be parties and all that. Last +winter in New York I went to three and oh, you should have seen the +dresses! I had one of blue gauze over thin satin and it was just lovely, +and the dancing was simply great, and here you never go any where." + +"We come here to improve our minds," said some one sententiously + +"I'd like some real fun and gayety, and think that I must stay all alone +here." + +"There will be five girls to keep you company." + +"But there's no fun or parties or anything. Oh, let's cut the cake. I +shan't enjoy it when I am alone." + +It was a real treat, and the nuts and sweets were a feast. They had not +much appetite for luncheon. + +"But did you ever see anything so idiotic as that lovely frock for such +a girl and a place like this where you do not go to high-up parties," +said one of the girls in a group, afterward. "And what it must have +cost! It really ought to be returned as very unsuitable." + +"What can the mother be like, and isn't the father a politician or a +contractor?" with a laugh. + +"No," returned Phillipa. "I asked father to find out about them. Mr. +Nevins is a reputable banker, a very good judge of loans and is rated +quite highly in London. Then he buys curios and pictures, so he must +have some taste. Think what that silly girl will have, enough to make +any three girls of us fancy ourselves heroines of the Arabian Nights; +but the mother can't have any sense." + +"I think the modistes are largely to blame. No doubt the mother ordered +a handsome evening dress, and the woman made it handsome and expensive +and quite useless. You don't see Zay Crawford with any such things!" + +"Zay is beauty unadorned." + +"And Miss Nevins is ugliness intensified. I am really sorry for her, +though she has improved a very little. But when you think of the place +she might take in society--" + +"And the journeys!" + +"Still, I wouldn't want such a mother." + +Phillipa went to her room to finish her Latin verses. + +"Though why you should be compelled to write Latin verses when you can't +make decent English rhymes I don't see," she grumbled. + +She was almost through when the door flew open and shut again with a +bang and Louie Howe threw herself on the floor clasping Phillipa's +knees, her eyes distraught with terror. + +"Oh, isn't it horrible!" she almost shrieked. "Those boys had malignant +scarlet fever! That one was dying the girl held up, he was choking +awfully, and at nine o'clock the other one died. It's all in the +morning's paper. I think they hid it away. Miss Vincent picked it up in +the library. Oh, what can we do?" + +"You can stop screaming and get up." Phillipa fairly dragged her up and +shook her violently. "Hush! hush!" she commanded. "You'll have the whole +faculty in here, and we'll be bundled out bag and baggage. Have a little +regard for Zay and me if you have none for yourself." + +Phillipa drew up the willow rocker and pushed Louie in it. "Don't have +hysterics if that is what you're aiming at or I'll douse you with cold +water until you're half drowned." + +Louie was sobbing now. "I can't help it, and think of the dreadful risk +we ran! That woman ought to be sent to prison." + +"That woman was going on with her business, earning her living. We were +the fools! How did they know it was scarlet fever?" + +"Well, she thought it was measles and was doctoring them, but one of +them grew so much worse she sent for Dr. Lewis and he was so busy he +didn't get there until five, just as the boy died, and the other one +hadn't seemed so bad, but he died at nine, and the youngest girl has the +fever. Dr. Lewis sent for the undertaker right away and they put +something on the bodies and sealed up the coffin and they were to be +buried this morning and the clothes to be burned and the house +fumigated. Oh, isn't it horrible! The woman ought to go to prison." + +"After losing her two children?" + +"Well, to give us all scarlet fever, malignant scarlet fever?" with +emphasis. + +Phillipa was quivering in every nerve. But she _must_ control Louie. + +"Well, we shouldn't have gone there. I think she ought not have let us +in but just said she couldn't admit customers. Now, what are you going +to do?" + +"I--I--what _can_ I do? I s'pose I'll have scarlet fever--" + +"You can give the thing away and be sent home in disgrace. You'll lose +your watch and perhaps not get in another school. You can spoil Zay +Crawford's life for the present, just when it has reached the loveliest +point of all--" + +"And you?" + +Louie stopped sobbing and studied her companion in wonder. + +"I'm not going to have scarlet fever. Those children haven't been sick a +week. Scarlet fever is taken from the little flakes that peel off when +the skin begins to dry up. We surely didn't get any of those. We went +right out in the fresh air and I breathed in a big supply, the room had +been so close. Two of mother's children had scarlet fever and she took +care of them. None of the others had it. It's half fright; just pull +yourself together and don't be an idiot and you'll come through all +right." + +"Oh, Phil! I wish I had your courage." + +"You have courage enough only you won't use it. Just feel certain +nothing is going to happen and you'll come out all right. We're going +home so soon that for our sakes you might summon a little courage. If +you go on this way Louie you'll be--what is it they call hysterical +people? Neurasthenics, I believe. I mean to have a jolly good time with +plenty of lovers and dances and fun and get married. I'm not going to +be a sighing, whimsical old maid, borrowing trouble." + +"Oh, dear!" and she fell to sobbing again. + +"Now, Louie, let me give you some ammonia and you lie here on my bed +while I finish this exercise. Get asleep if you can." + +"Oh, how good you are in real trouble, Phil." + +"Humph! You don't know what real trouble is. To be smashed up in a +railroad accident or run over by a trolley or bitten by a mad dog, such +things might make your hair turn white. There now, don't let me hear +another word out of you." + +She settled Louie on her bed and covered her over with a shawl, +listening every few moments. The sighing breath became more regular, +there were two or three gentle snores. Phillipa rose presently, went +cautiously to the door and placed the key on the outside, then locked it +softly. Louie might sleep half an hour. + +Just as she turned Zay ran into her arms. "Oh Phil--we've just had word. +The steamer will be in this evening. Aunt Kate has sent over and I am to +be dismissed. We go to New York tomorrow morning. Oh, it seems too +blessed to be true, but mother hasn't lost any ground. What a lovely +Christmas we shall have!" + +"And I'm glad enough for your sake, Zay. I've teased you about looking +like that Boyd girl, and I dragged you off into danger, but if anything +should happen to you I never could forgive myself." + +"I don't believe we were in any great danger. I hunted up father's big +medico-something and read about scarlet fever. You don't take it very +easily, but oh, wasn't it dreadful for the poor woman! Only I think she +oughtn't have let us in. The town authorities are going to send them +away as soon as they can. Oh, good-by--but I'll see you when we come +back." + +"I'll keep tab on Louie. We must just hold together. It won't do for the +thing to leak out. I was a ninny to propose such a thing." They kissed +each other and walked down stairs together. Most of the girls were in +the school room discussing the newspaper account. The town was clean and +in excellent shape, there were no fears of an epidemic and even now Dr. +Lewis was not quite sure but it's origin was measles, since the little +girl had a decided case. The strictest watch would be kept. The clothes +and some rubbish had been burned. The clairvoyant's knowledge of the +future was held up to withering ridicule. + +Louie Howe had a long, refreshing nap and woke up in much better heart. +The short day ended by a little gymnasium practice but all the girls +were rather nervous over the affair. + +"Why, I had the scarlet fever once," announced Miss Nevins, "and mamma +would have three doctors!" + +"And you lived through all that?" laughed some one. "Then scarlet fever +can't be dangerous." + +"I don't remember being very sick, and then father sent us to Bermuda. +It was when the lilies were in bloom. It's such a lovely place!" + +"Young ladies," began Mrs. Barrington as they rose from the table, "as +our work is about done I have decided to dismiss school. Some of your +parents may see this sensational account, and everything does get so +exaggerated. There is not the slightest fear of an epidemic, but you +will all be glad of a little longer holiday. I hope you will all return +in good health and the resolve to do your best towards finishing your +year in the best possible manner." + +"You believe there isn't real danger?" asked Miss Kingsland. + +"There have been no cases about the town to indicate an epidemic. The +little girl's case seems to be not very serious as her fever is abating. +Oh, I think we at least need not feel the slightest alarm. We have no +slums to foster contagion." + +Still, the two sudden deaths had created a frightened sort of +impression. The girls kept discussing them until Phillipa protested. + +"Who is going home tomorrow?" she asked. "After all it is only a day +sooner, and who has their Christmas gifts done up? Must we save our +jolliness until we get home? We are all coming back in a fortnight, and +spring comes so soon after the holidays, and there's pegging away at +everything and finally graduation." + +Some began to hunt up trains, others went to packing. Phillipa kept +Louie near her and made funny unsentimental speeches until the old +feeling seemed quite restored. Some gifts were exchanged, some guesses +as to what home presents would be and they said good-night in the best +of spirits. + +"Now, Louie," began Phil, escorting her to her door, "if you get a +granny fit in the night and see horrible things, you just come to my +room and hop into bed with me, and think what a gay time you'll be +having tomorrow night this time, much gayer than Miss Nevins with all +her money and her three party frocks with no place to display them." + +Louie laughed. "Oh, Phil, you're such a comfort," she said with an +extravagant hug, "but aren't you going home tomorrow?" + +"No, not until Friday. I want to see Zay before I go, and I'm not afraid +of unlucky Friday either," laughing. + +Louie slept soundly and was in very good spirits. The girls were all +eager for the morning paper. The scare was pretty well over. The boys +had been buried, the little girl was no worse and if fever did not +develop it would simply be a case of measles. + +Then most of the girls said good-by, wishing each other a merry +Christmas. The others huddled together and bewailed their hard lot, +missing Miss Boyd very much. Her mother was quite poorly, which was +given as her excuse. Mrs. Dane insisted upon a rigorous exclusion until +all danger of contagion was over. + +Quite late in the afternoon Phillipa walked over to Crawford House and +sent up her card to Zaidee with a penciled message. The girl came flying +through the hall, more beautiful than ever Phil thought, in her soft +red cashmere with white lace garnishings. + +"Oh, Phil dear, I'm so glad to see you! I was afraid you would go home +before I had a glimpse of you. We've been so busy and so full of joy! +Oh, you can't think what it is to see mother walking around with no +crutches and the wheel chair set aside, and she's in such splendid +spirits. Vincent will be allowed to come home as a special favor to +papa, getting here early Monday morning and returning that night. We're +just going to have a family dinner with a very few dear friends, but New +Year's night I am to have a party. Oh, can't you come back a little +sooner. I'd like so to have you." + +"I don't believe I can, and you know there are the lovers and the +diamond ring"--laughing. + +"Oh, dear! _Can_ you believe any of it? And the surprise that I'm not +going to be pleased with. It isn't that Willard has fallen in love, he +is going to have his three years' cruise first. Oh, were you _much_ +frightened, Phil? It was dreadful, and no one can tell where the boys +took the disease. I can't help feeling sorry for the poor mother if she +is a humbug, it is such a sad Christmas for her, and was Louie much +frightened?" + +"Oh, she almost went into hysterics and I was afraid she'd give us all +away, but I did manage to get her off safely, and bound her by the most +solemn promises not to mention the escapade at home. It wasn't the right +thing for us to do of course, but mischief always looks so tempting to +you and if we keep silence no harm will be done. It wasn't as bad as +they thought." + +A shudder went over Zay's slight figure. + +"And I am so glad you didn't worry yourself ill," Phillipa rejoined with +real feeling. + +"Phil, can't you stay to dinner and see mother? She's lying down +now--there have been so many calls. Father brought home the German +nurse, who measures off her time in a very funny manner, and he escorts +mother down stairs and up again as if he was a young lover." + +"No, dear, thank you. When I come back the rush will be over and we will +have a good time. I've twenty things to do and start at nine tomorrow. +Good-by and have just the most splendid time, as I shall have. So good +luck for a fortnight," and they kissed each other warmly. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +A STRANGE CONFESSION + + +The girl who had been wrongfully accused was not so light hearted. Mrs. +Dane still preserved her suspicious aspect, and of course the whole +school was eager for every bit of news. Lilian said nothing to her +mother about the talk, she seemed rather fretful and uneasy, as if she +was annoyed by the girl's presence. + +So on Thursday afternoon she went out for a walk. Just beyond the gate +she saw Edith Trenham coming toward her. + +"Oh, were you going out? Let us walk together, then. I have so much to +say to you? Did you think it queer?" + +"I know now," said Lilian. "It was dreadful!" + +"I had to go home for some important school papers, and just slipped in +and out again when you saw me. Of course I did not want it spoken of. +Mother has been very careful keeping the windows on that side of the +house closed. Claire has never had any of the infantile diseases. The +woman thought it measles at first, but they are so particular in the +schools, now. We closed today. Mother is going to shut up the house for +awhile and board at Mrs. Lane's while they fumigate and burn up. The +authorities have ordered the old house torn down. I think not a great +many people visited her, though they did at first. I only hope the +little girl will not die. Mother spoke to the oldest one that morning +and she said her brothers were very ill and that her mother thought she +would have a doctor, but it was too late when he came. Oh, I hope there +will not be any more cases." + +"It would be terrible if they died like that. Our classes are dismissed +as well, I believe there was a great fright among the girls, and just at +Christmas time, too." + +"Will you go down with me tomorrow and have a look at the stores? This +has upset our plans. I wanted you and your mother to come and take +Christmas dinner with us." + +"Mother doesn't seem at all well. I doubt if she could go out, and I +couldn't leave her for pleasure." + +"Well, some other time; and how are you getting along? I suppose you +have vacation as well?" + +"Oh yes. Madame thinks I shall acquire French easily. She reads French +verses so splendidly, and I am doing well in Latin, but oh, there are +such stores of reading! It is a hardship to tear myself away, and poetry +just enchants me--well, when it is high and fine. I have begun 'The +Idylls of the King.' Oh it must be just glorious to write such poetry!" + +"It is a rare gift, and it is something to be able to read and +appreciate." + +"I sometimes envy the girls who have so much leisure, yet they seem not +to improve it. But then--oh, you don't know how lovely it is here, how +much there is to interest and satisfy. Of course I'm not _quite_ +satisfied at present," and Lilian gave a light laugh, "but the town is +so truly beautiful and the house--I wonder if it is silly but I walk +about at times and do enjoy the soft rugs, the handsome furniture, the +pictures, the beautiful bits of art scattered around, and oh, the books! +There never was anything like it in my life before, and if I go back to +comparative poverty, which I suppose I shall some day, for I never can +earn any thing like this, it will linger in my mind as a journey to some +enchanting place. There is so much to learn all the time. Not merely out +of books but the sweet and gracious things one can do; Mrs. Barrington +is so lovely. Am I tiring you with these visionary things?" + +"No, my dear girl, I am glad you can enjoy them and treasure them up +without a feeling of envy. We cannot all of us abound in this world's +goods, but we can be glad someone has them and is willing to share them +with us, at least, allow us to look on." + +"I'm going to study every day and get on as fast as possible. I'm +longing for the time when I can earn money and have a little home of our +own. I wish"--then she paused and recovering herself after a moment, +resumed--"I wish to make some nice friends in my own walk in life, among +those who really love to work and bring about results." + +"And I am sure you will do it. And loving whatever is fine and true and +gracious shapes one's character. God has given us the sense of enjoyment +and he means us to make the best use of it that we can. Oh, we must turn +about. See how far we have walked, and there is a baby crescent moon." + +The dun white of the sky was thinning into blue and here and there a +star pricked through. It was clear and crisp yet the air had a fragrance +of the cedars and spruces. They hurried along, and Lilian promised to +meet her friend tomorrow for another walk. She had never been an +effusive girl, but she could talk so easily to Edith and in the +interchange she could throw off the things that annoyed or depressed +her. + +So they said good-night and she entered the pretty vestibule where she +had first seen Mrs. Barrington. Her heart gave a quick bound as she +thought of that lady's confidence in her truth. Mrs. Dane must sometime +be convinced of her injustice. + +She ran lightly up the stairs, wondering a little that her mother's room +should be in darkness. Crossing over to the match safe she stumbled over +something on the floor and struck a light in half terror. + +"Oh mother! mother!" she cried to the prostrate figure. Then in sudden +fear she called in the hall--"Oh, will some one come! I cannot tell what +has happened to mother." + +Miss Arran answered. The face was deadly white and cold, the eyes half +open, staring. + +"Oh, she is dead! I went out to walk and staid too long." Lilian's voice +was full of remorseful pathos. + +"No," said Miss Arran. "I think she has only fainted. Her heart beats a +little; Let us lay her on the bed and I'll get some restoratives. Is she +accustomed to fainting?" + +"Not like this. Oh poor mother!" + +They laid her on the bed, chafed her hands and bathed her face, using +the lavender salts. After a little there was a faint respiration. Then +she opened her eyes and murmured something. + +"Mother, dear, what happened? And I was away." "It will be better +when--when I'm gone." The vague glance seemed to study the girl with +poignant anguish. "Oh, yes!--better--" + +"You must not say that. You must live to let me repay you for all you +have done for me, and we will be happy--" + +She moved her head from side to side in dissent. "Oh, you do not know, +but I did it for love's sake. I could not live without my child." + +"Suppose we get her undressed, she will feel more comfortable. She has +not looked well for the last week or two. Mrs. Barrington was speaking +about it, but she is such a quiet body." + +Lilian opened the bed. She was girlishly glad her mother's night dress +was neat and lace trimmed, fit to go to her new home. So they soon had +her easier and restful. + +"I should like a cup of tea," she said, weakly. + +"I'll get it," and Miss Arran left the room. + +"Dear mother," and Lilian patted the hands that were thin and cold. + +"Oh, love me a little to the end, I've loved you so much. Whatever comes +you will know I did it for love's sake, and you must forgive." + +"There can be nothing to forgive. You have worked for me early and late. +You must live and let me repay you, make you happy. If I have failed in +the past I will try with all my soul and strength in the future. Think, +every year brings us nearer the home I shall make for you. Oh, do not +talk of dying!" + +"You don't know. I did not think of the wrong then. You were a +motherless babe, then, and I was a childless mother. For you must know, +you must have felt in your inmost soul that I was not your true mother." + +Lilian raised her head in the wildest dismay, and though she stared at +Miss Arran she did not seem to see her. Many a time like a lightning +flash the thought had swept over her, but it seemed awful to have it put +in words, to have the certainty pierce through her like a sharp sword. + +"Oh, mother, you do not know what you are saying. It is some wretched, +horrid dream! You have been too much alone. You have brooded over this +thought of our differences. Children and parents are often unlike. At +all events I have never known any other mother. You must live and let me +prove a true daughter." + +"I did not think there could be any wrong then. If you were cast on the +world friendless, why should I not fill my aching heart with baby love. +Yes, you did love me then, you clung to me. I never thought of there +being someone else--a father, perhaps--oh, heaven help us both!" + +She had raised herself soon after she began to talk; now she fell back +on the pillow fainting. Lilian was sobbing. Miss Arran came to her +relief. + +"I think we must have a physician. I will see Mrs. Barrington." + +The faint was of short duration. Miss Arran was strangely mystified. Was +Mrs. Boyd's talk an hallucination or some secret kept for years that +must needs make its way out at last? Had she any right to repeat it on +mere suspicion? + +Mrs. Barrington sent for Dr. Kendricks at once. Then she went to Mrs. +Boyd's room. How very frail she looked. + +"My poor child," the lady said, "this is very hard for you, and I think +you did not come in to dinner. Suppose you go down stairs for awhile?" + +"Oh, no, I must stay here. Poor mother--" + +"Lilian," murmured the feeble voice and the thin hand wandered out as if +for a clasp. + +She took it, pressed it to her lips, her firm, warm cheek. Should she +pray for life? Would not God send what was best? Oh, that she might have +strength to accept it. She raised her eyes to Mrs. Barrington in +entreaty. Oh, who was she so like at that moment? + +The doctor was announced. Miss Arran sat by the bedside. There was a +lamp on the table and he asked that it might be lighted, making a close +survey of the patient. + +"Was there any shock? Her vitality is at a very low ebb. When was the +first unconscious spell?" + +"I was out," began Lilian, tremulously. "She insisted that I should go +and seemed to want to be alone. I staid longer than I meant, and found +her fallen to the floor--" + +Mrs. Boyd raised to a partly sitting posture and looked up with feverish +eagerness. + +"I went to put something in the chiffonier--you will find it, Lilian, in +a box and the key is--oh, what did I do with it?" + +"Never mind, dear," in a soft tone. + +"But _you_ must mind, and then I turned--it was my leg. It is heavy and +I can't raise it, but the ache is all gone." + +Dr. Kendricks turned down the blanket and examined the limb, nodding as +if convinced. + +"Oh," she cried, "is it paralysis? Then it will not be long. My mother +had two strokes a week apart, her mother never rallied from the first. +I'm tired--worn out, and Lilian will be better off without me. She may +find--I have written it all out--it's there in the drawer--" + +"Oh mother!" Lilian kissed her and put her back on the pillow where she +gave a gasping sigh. + +Dr. Kendricks beckoned Mrs. Barrington out of the room. + +"She is in a very low condition and I doubt if she survives more than a +few days. What about the girl--_is_ it her daughter?" + +"Why, yes--though they are very dissimilar; but she is a devoted +daughter. The mother is caretaker, the daughter a student." + +"She seems to have exhausted nature. The fainting spells may be a method +of rest. Let her sleep all she can. Very little can be done for her. I +will leave some drops to be given if she is very restless and will look +in in the morning. It is rather unfortunate this should happen to you, +just now." + +"Oh, school has closed and there is plenty of help. I want everything +done for her." + +Then Mrs. Barrington returned to the room. Miss Arran sat by the foot of +the bed, Lilian was bathing her mother's face. + +"My child," Mrs. Barrington said, "you had better lie down and get a +little rest. We will watch--" + +"No, I want Lilian," entreated the mother. "You will not leave me? When +I am a little rested I want to tell you how it came--" + +"Yes, yes, but not now. I would rather stay here. It is my place, and +now there are no other duties." + +So the hours wore on. Mrs. Boyd seemed to fall into a tranquil sleep. +Lilian laid down on her own bed, and slept in a disturbed sort of +fashion. Then morning came, and the house was astir. + +"Oh, Miss Arran have you watched all night? How good you are!" + +"I had several naps. Your mother was very quiet. She seems better. Mrs. +Dane is coming in and you must get some breakfast. Then if we need a +nurse--" + +"Oh, no, do not have one. My place is here. Oh, Miss Arran," and Lilian +turned deadly pale, "you heard what she said last evening. It _can't_ be +true. Would any one ever work and make sacrifices for a child not her +own? She _is_ my mother." + +Miss Arran nodded. "Unless she is much worse I do not think we will need +a nurse. There will be so little to do in the house that I shall be +quite at liberty." + +"Yes, Mrs. Boyd was much stronger," the doctor admitted, though the case +was not much more hopeful. A second stroke might end it all. "But she +seems to have something on her mind. Is it anxiety about her daughter?" + +"I have assured her that Lilian will be my charge. She has the making of +an unusually fine scholar, and she is a high minded, honorable girl, +sincere and ambitious." + +"The daughter has taken from somewhere a much stronger physical and +mental equipment. What of the father?" + +"Oh, he died when she was a mere infant." + +The embargo had been removed from Lilian and Mrs. Dane treated her with +a sort of tolerant sympathy. She roamed about the deserted library and +chose some books, a few girls waylaid her in the school room. Miss +Nevins made an importunate appeal, quite forgetting her past disdain. + +"Oh, why can't you stay down here?" she cried. "It's awful dull, and +there's no fun going on. Miss Graniss is going to take us down town when +the stores are lighted up, but it's so long to wait until evening." + +"Mother is ill and I want to stay with her," Lilian returned coldly, +provoked at the selfishness. She read awhile, then took up some +embroidery. Miss Trenham came in with the gift of a beautiful volume of +poems. Claire sent a little reminder in a most exquisite book mark. She +was quite delighted in the change to another home, where there were two +girls. "Could Edith do anything for them?" + +"They are all so good here, and mother doesn't need much, she seems to +sleep a good deal." + +The sick girl at the Clairvoyant's was improving. Not even a case of +measles had been reported in town. + +So the winter day drew to a close. Lilian watched the little procession +starting out under the convoy of Miss Graniss. Yes, she had run out that +way at Laconia--how long ago it seemed. Oh, she ought to have sent a few +gifts to old girl friends. She had really no heart for gladness. + +Lilian sat over by the gas burner reading that most beautiful Christmas +part of "In Memoriam." She almost heard the "happy bells ring across the +snow," so rapt was she in the poets charm. Then something stirred. Her +mother was trying to raise herself. + +"Oh mother--" + +"Put the pillows around me, so, I want to sit up. I want to talk. I have +been living it over. And I am surely going to that other country. I +shall have my own two babies in my arms, and their father will come to +meet me. I want to tell you how it was. It has come back so distinctly, +much plainer than when I wrote it." + +Miss Arran had started to come in but paused at the door. Lilian's back +was towards her. Mrs. Dane going through the hall paused as Miss Arran +held up her finger. + +"Oh, mother, not tonight." + +"Yes, now. I feel so strong. After husband died my brother sent for me +and wanted me to take up some land adjoining his. Mr. Holland, who was +holding the life insurance--all I had, was not willing until I had seen +what the place was like and he thought that kind of life very hard on +women, but my brother was the only relative I had, though I had not seen +him for years. After I had started I was frightened about the journey +and the strange people. There was one woman with a baby, a bright, +beautiful child with rosy cheeks and brilliant eyes. I supposed her the +mother, for I saw her nurse the infant, and there was with them such a +beautiful woman. She came to me in the night, and when I looked at her +the last time she was dead," and she sighed. + +"We were most of us asleep when there was an awful crash. Then horrible +shrieks and cries and being thrown about--" + +"Oh, mother, don't, don't!" Lilian implored. "Your mind is wandering--" + +"No, it is true, horribly true. It was one of the awful accidents of +that time, more than fifteen years ago, but I suppose I became +unconscious. My babe flew out of my arms; my little baby," in a +lingering tone as if the words were sweet to say. + +"When I came to myself it was in a room where several were lying around +on cots, and two women sat close together trying to hush the crying +child." + +"Give me my baby, I almost shrieked. Bring me my baby." + +"They brought it and I hugged it to my breast, gave it nourishment, +cuddled it in my arms and I fell asleep full of joy. We both slept a +long while. When I woke the woman brought me a cup of tea and some +bread. I was ravenously hungry. Then I asked what had happened. It had +been twenty-four hours." + +"It was a horrible accident at a place where tracks crossed. All day +they had been clearing away the wreck and sending bodies into the +nearest towns for this place was small. A number had been killed +outright. Will you give me some of that tea in the tumbler?" + +"Oh, mother, do not tell any more," the girl pleaded, shuddering. + +"Yes, I must, I must! When morning came the woman helped me up and I had +some breakfast. I had been stunned and bruised, but no bones were +broken." + +"We are so glad the baby was yours," one of the women said. "The other +poor baby and its mother was killed." + +"I went to the bed presently and turned down the blanket. There lay the +lovely child warm and rosy, the picture of health. I devoured it with +kisses. Yes, it was mine. God had saved it and sent it to me. It had no +mother, so it was mine. I called it by my baby's name, and I couldn't +have cared more for my own flesh and blood. You were so beautiful and +bright--so fond and loving. On the other side of the room lay the lovely +woman who had interested me so much. They thought her dying, she looked +as if she were dead, I never saw anything more perfect. She was like +sculptured marble. They were trying to get every one away and the next +day an official questioned me and offered to make good any loss. I had +my ticket pinned to the lining of my dress, and what money I had taken +with me sewed up in a little bag. There had been a fire as well, and +much of the baggage was burned. I had lost my trunk but they paid me its +full value and more, and sent me on my journey." + +"I have told you what a dismal place my brother had in Wisconsin. There +were five big, rough children. I was not fitted for farm work. I missed +my old friends and so I went back to Laconia, but my whole life was +wrapped up in you." + +"And many a time I must have seemed ungrateful. Oh, mother, when you did +so much for me!" sobbed Lilian. + +"Oh, dear, I have thought it all out. You were not of my kind. It +fretted me at first. You were always a little lady, doing things in a +nicer way than most girls, and you were forever reading and studying. If +we could have kept the boarding house," in tones of regret, "but there +was my long illness and the house was sold torn down for a great +factory. Then I took up the sewing. It was easier in some ways. I liked +Sally Marks and her mother so much. The gay jolliness and the merry +chat. They were like two girls together. But your heart was set on the +High School. Oh, Lilian, do believe I would have kept you there if I +could. Then I began to wonder what your own mother and father had been +like, and if your father was alive. Perhaps he could have done much +better for you. The thought wore on me, and I was not well; I knew that. +You see I should have had a girl who did not mind working in a shop and +enjoying good times with other girls, going to parties and picnics and +having lovers and marrying as I did, and having babies. I loved babies +so. To be a grandmother to a little flock seemed very heaven to me." + +"Oh, mother, don't! You will break my heart," sobbed Lilian. + +"No, child, you were not to blame. God gave you all these high thoughts +and ambitions; I never had any of them, and after we came here I +understood it still better. You belonged to these kind of people, your +ways were theirs, your ambition was right, and I was very thankful that +such a refuge opened for us. You have been a good, devoted child. +Tomorrow we will talk it over again. Now will you send for some toast +and eat. Oh, Lilian, child, don't cry. God will bring you out right and +forgive me for what I did out of longing love." + +Lilian turned, Miss Arran took a step forward. "I will bring it to you," +she said, and she motioned to Mrs. Dane who stood like a statue. + +"Let us go to Mrs. Barrington. She must know this," she whispered. + +Lilian bathed her face and readjusted her mother's pillows. The whole +world seemed in a daze about her. Yet she was not so much surprised +either, but stunned, incapable now of judging whether there had been any +right or wrong. If no one belonging to her had been found--and her own +mother was among the killed, she might have been turned over to some +foundling asylum. + +"I feel much better," exclaimed Mrs. Boyd. "But, oh, Lilian, don't pray +for me to live, for I should be a helpless burden on you, and I'll have +my two own babies in heaven. I meant to do it for the best when I +claimed you, and I think God will understand. It's been a poor, broken +sort of life but I've tried to do up to the lights I had, and yours will +be better, higher. Mrs. Barrington appreciated you and will help you. +God surely opened this way for us." + +Was it truly of God's providence? She had longed so ardently for the +refinements of life, the possibilities of education. Some times it +seemed as if He answered petitions in the suppliant's way and freighted +them with another burden. + +But if this should be laid upon her she would pray for strength to do +her whole duty. It was hardly likely she would ever find any one +belonging to her, that was too wild a thought. She would keep this +generous foster mother as long as she needed love and care. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +WHOSE CHILD AM I? + + +Miss Arran tapped lightly at the half-open door and Mrs. Barrington bade +both ladies enter. + +"How is Mrs. Boyd?" + +"Why she seems curiously better. She has been talking awhile to her +daughter and her voice has a latent strength that surprises one, and we +have been unwitting listeners to a most remarkable story. Did you ever +suspect that she might not be the own mother of Miss Boyd?" + +"The thought has crossed my mind. They are so dissimilar." + +"I have never really liked Mrs. Boyd or the girl either," began Mrs. +Dane. "There seemed something to conceal, some secret between them. I +had a fancy Lilian was on the watch all the time lest her mother should +betray it." + +"Oh, did you think that? It appeared to me the anxiety of a girl of good +breeding lest her mother should fall into habits of a different kind +that were rather annoying. Yet they had always been together--" + +"It seemed to me aping a style really above what she had been used, a +certain pretentiousness, that did not appear suitable to her position, +but she has proved a devoted nurse and daughter, and I will confess my +prejudice has received a great shock, and I admit frankly that I may +have been mistaken when I accused her of being at the Clairvoyant's. +Miss Arran will you tell the story--it seems a deathbed confession." + +Miss Arran began. She had started to go in Mrs. Boyd's room to see if +anything was needed when the words arrested her, and she detailed the +journey Mrs. Boyd had undertaken with her infant child, the dreadful +midnight disaster, the unconsciousness of the poor woman until the next +day, her hearing the child cry and claiming it unwittingly, and then +learning the child's mother had been killed as well as her own baby and +her resolve to keep it; her taking it on her farther journey, and caring +for it as her own, her latent remorse lest she should have defrauded the +girl out of a better birthright-- + +Mrs. Barrington rose suddenly and paced the room in strange agitation. + +"Somewhere I have heard a story that might be the other side of this. It +is very strange," clasping her hands. "One would not want to make a +mistake." + +"I wish you might _hear_ the story, and one point of importance is +whether it would be wisdom to help the girl in any search for her +parentage. Sometimes unfortunate facts come to light. You, perhaps, can +tell what will be the best course to pursue." + +"Yes, I am glad you came to me. I had resolved to keep Miss Boyd here +after her mother was gone. I must give the matter some thought. We will +not be hasty. Yes, I should like to hear the confession and ask her some +questions. Lilian must not stay alone tonight." + +"I will gladly offer my services if they would be acceptable," said Mrs. +Dane. + +"I think I will take the first part of the night, and then you may be +watcher. I thank you very much for your kindness." + +Mrs. Barrington went to the quiet apartment. Lilian had fallen asleep +with her head on her mother's pillow. She had exhausted herself with a +soft, pitiful crying. With the quick unreason of youth she upbraided +herself for the many times she had been secretly mortified at her +mother's lack of the qualities she liked best. She had spent hours in +dreaming of a phantom mother sweet, graceful and refined, who loved all +delightful things, who was stirred by music and poetry, who could +receive guests with a gracious hospitality in the pretty home which +should be simple as befitted moderate means. The sympathy between them +would be perfect. They would linger over well-loved poets, they would +discuss their brave heroes and favorite heroines. How many times she had +fallen asleep with this dear mother's hand clasped in hers! + +But here had been the hard working mother instead. Yes, she had tried to +help. Nearly all the summer vacation she had sewed steadily, but she had +never given the real love. It was as if neither truly understood the +other's language. + +"All the rest of her life I will try," was her last conscious thought. + +Mrs. Barrington found them both asleep. She studied the girl's face, the +finely cut features, the wide eyelids with their bronze fringe, the +beautifully curved lips. It _was_ an aristocratic face. She hardly dared +think there _was_ a resemblance, and yet it explained what had puzzled +her at times. "Lilian," she said softly. "Lilian, child, it is time you +were in bed." + +The girl roused suddenly with a startled look. Then she caught the hand +and pressed a fervent kiss upon it. + +"You are all so kind," she murmured. "I can never repay you +sufficiently." + +"Do not think of that, I am going to sit here awhile with your mother +and you must try and get some sleep." + +"Mother is better I think," hesitatingly. "She is stronger, and now she +is sleeping peacefully." + +She slept on with only a rather heavy breathing. At one Mrs. Dane came +to relieve her. Lilian was on the alert quite early and her mother asked +for some breakfast. + +At ten the doctor came. "I feel so much stronger," the invalid said, +"but I can't move my limbs. There doesn't seem any life in them." + +"It was quite a severe stroke." + +"And if I should have another?" + +"We won't think of that just now. You must eat what you can of +nourishing food." + +Mrs. Boyd glanced up at the doctor with beseeching eyes-- + +"It is best that I shouldn't live--" + +"For your daughter's sake." Dr. Kendricks felt almost ashamed of the +platitude. A helpless burden on a young girl, a poor, weak woman. + +"It _is_ for her sake. She has found a good friend in Mrs. Barrington, +and I can do no more. I did what I thought best then, but I did it for +the sake of my aching, lonely heart. But for the child I believe I must +have died then. Doesn't God forgive when you do what seems best?" + +There was anguish in every line of the wasted face. + +"God knows the motive of every deed, and if it is done in single +mindedness, in love and charity he will accept." + +"It was done in love. You see, her mother was dead. There was no one to +claim her. Oh, what am I saying! Go away, you can do nothing for me," +and she turned her face over to the wall. + +He stood some seconds by her. She was crying softly, and again motioned +him away with her hand. + +He went out of the room and looked around. Yes, there was Mrs. +Barrington. + +"What is the matter between that mother and daughter?" he inquired +brusquely. "She seems--well _is_ the girl her own child? Has she +done--something--" + +"Oh, doctor can you spare a little time? I am troubled and puzzled. She +made a strange confession last night and it seemed almost as if I knew +the connecting link. Let me call Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran." + +They came and at Mrs. Barrington's invitation were seated. The doctor +studied them a moment with drawn brows. + +"Doctor, I want you to relate your experience of more than fifteen years +ago when you went out to the scene of that frightful accident from which +Mrs. Crawford has suffered so long and when her twin daughter was lost." + +"What has that to do with it?" + +"You will see. I believe Major Crawford left his wife and daughter in +your charge when he was ordered to the west with his regiment." + +"Yes." He seemed to study a few moments. "Then came the word of the +skirmish with the Indians when he was wounded in the leg which proved so +much worse than he first thought and she decided to go out to him and +take one of the babies. He had gone fairly wild over the birth of the +little girls; they had so longed for a daughter. Marguerite, if you +remember, was a strong, robust baby, laughing if you so much as smiled +at her. A beautiful baby, I thought, looking much like her mother. +Zaidee was smaller and more delicate, though never ill that I can +recall. She decided to take Marguerite and the wet nurse who was very +proud of her charge and fond of Mrs. Crawford. When we heard of the +frightful disaster you may remember that I went out at once. It was a +most dreary place, just a sort of freight station where the tracks +crossed the through road. It could not be called a town, though now it +is a thriving city and the freighting road runs miles below. When I +reached the place most of the wreckage had been cleared away, the dead +buried, the wounded sent to friends or hospitals at a distance. I found +about half a dozen remaining, four of them almost well enough to resume +their journey. Two were thought hopeless, one of them being Mrs. +Crawford. Fifteen years ago there were not so many conveniences as there +are now, and as the fire broke out afterward the baggage was mostly lost +and it was quite difficult to find the names of the passengers at first. +The nurse and the baby had been killed outright. There was one other +baby on the train and that had been taken farther West with its mother." + +Miss Arran and the housekeeper exchanged glances. + +"Mrs. Crawford had sustained some injury to the brain and for the first +few days they had thought her dead half a dozen times. The people where +she had been taken were very kind. She was in a comatose state most of +the time, and when she roused seemed quite ignorant of what had +happened. There was some injury to the back that rendered her limbs +useless. As soon as I could make arrangements I had her removed to +Indianapolis to a fine hospital where we found, on an exhaustive +examination, the spine had been injured, the ligatures strained and +muscles actually torn apart. When the Major was well enough to +travel--and he came very near losing his leg, it seemed, he joined us, +and we journeyed on to New York. Meanwhile the Major's brother had died, +a queer, penurious old fellow who had never given up his rights in the +estate and now it all came to the Major, besides a large amount of +money. He resigned from the army and they came home. Mrs. Crawford had +kept her mind through all this and had been most brave, recovering very +slowly as you know and when she could manage to get about on crutches it +appeared as if the last stage of recovery had been attained; but now it +seems nothing short of a miracle. And there was the beautiful little +golden haired fairy to gladden their hearts--" + +"But the nurse and the child?" interrupted Miss Arran. + +"The child was crushed beyond recognition. They placed it in the coffin +with the nurse and buried it temporarily. The Major meant to have it +brought home, but it was so long before they could get about it, and it +seemed like living the heart-breaking episode over, so he concluded to +have it permanently interred in a burying ground a few miles distant, +which is now a really beautiful spot. Mrs. Crawford was ill so long that +it seems like a dream to her." + +"And did no one ever hear of the other child?" + +"What was there to hear? The mother claimed it." + +"The woman dying in yonder room claimed the child first, ignorantly, +then believing the mother dead, took it in the place of her poor +murdered child." + +"No!" The doctor sprang up and began to pace the floor. "Why, then, that +young girl--" + +"Miss Arran will you tell the other side of the story. Why it seems to +me there can be no mistake," said Mrs. Barrington. + +"Well--this is most marvelous. Does the girl know--" + +"Oh, she protests. I think she has no idea. But the mother fancies we +may find some relative, a father perhaps, for she truly believes the +mother dead." + +"But this confession--would she repeat it again?" + +"I think she spoke of having it written out somewhere." + +"It must be well authenticated, you know. And--what steps have you +considered?" + +"None. Tomorrow will be Sunday--they will all go to church to give +thanks; then on Christmas day they are to have a small family dinner. +You and Mrs. Kendricks and myself, two or three dear old friends, and it +would be hardly wise to mar the sacredness of the occasion. We may see +our way more clearly, I would not like to have Miss Boyd disturbed on +uncertainties." + +"I will take a further look at her," said the doctor. "I have known +cases like hers to last weeks, even when strength seemed to be almost +gone." + +He wanted also to see Miss Boyd again. He had not noticed her +critically. Mrs. Barrington had spoken of the likeness that had puzzled +her in the beginning, the elusive resemblance to Mrs. Crawford in her +girlhood, as for two years she had been at school. He paused at the +door. She was standing by the window her profile distinctly outlined. It +was classic, from the broad, shapely forehead, the down-dropped eyelids +with their dark fringe, the straight nose with the fine, flexible +nostrils, the rounded chin, the lips that seemed to shut in sadness and +longing, but it was the poise of the head, the arching neck, the +shoulders proud enough for a statue. It needed more real youthfulness +for sixteen, but one could trace resemblances. + +Did she feel the scrutiny? She turned. The front view was more girlish. + +"Oh," she exclaimed, "mother is sleeping. Is it a bad sign for her to +sleep so much?" + +"It gives her rest and saves the wear on her nerves. You are a watchful +nurse. Where did you learn so much?" + +"I think it comes to you when one has done so much for you," she +answered quietly. + +"Did you always live in that western country town?" he asked, just to +make talk. + +Lilian colored and hesitated. "When I was a baby mother went out to +Wisconsin to her brother's, I don't remember anything of that. Yes, +afterward we lived in Laconia until we came here; but, do you think she +can--mend?" and she approached the bed. + +Dr. Kendricks made a slow movement in the negative. "She has very little +strength. Was she ill before she came here?" + +"Long ago she had a fever, but I think now she has been weakly for a +year or more. I was so anxious to keep in school. Oh, I ought to have +helped more," and the tears stood in her eyes. "For we were poor." + +She uttered the fact with a kind of prideful dignity. "She did +everything for me and I had planned when I began to earn money that we +would have a home--" + +"Yes, you have been a good daughter," and all this while she might have +been living in a delightful manner in her father's house, loving and +beloved, the comfort of her mother! For she would have been a devoted +daughter in that beautiful home. He hardened his heart against the dying +woman, and walked quietly out of the room. + +"The story must be true," he admitted to Mrs. Barrington. "But I cannot +tell what step to take first. Would you mind if I saw Mr. Ledwith? He +has been the Crawford lawyer and was the brother's executor. I am quite +mystified and perhaps not capable of judging." + +"Why, I think that would be an excellent plan. Yes. He can tell better +what steps to take. But Lilian will not leave the poor woman. I am not +sure she believes the story. She does not count on any change but is +glad to stay here with me and fit herself for earning a living. She has +a very loyal nature." + +Mrs. Boyd roused and ate her dinner, then Lilian read her to sleep +again. She begged not to be sent out to walk and Mrs. Barrington +yielded. + +At five Mr. Ledwith called, full of interest in the strange story and +begged to see Mrs. Boyd, wondering if she would repeat it. Lilian was +summoned. + +"Oh, it would seem cruel to disturb her," she cried with passionate +tenderness, "and she suffered so in telling it the other evening. It +cannot make much difference to me, since my own mother was killed, and +my father may have been dead before that. I shall always hold her in my +memory as my mother." + +"But the woman who was killed may not have been your mother." + +Lilian started in surprise. + +"There seems to be a reason why we should be certain in this. Trust me, +I will not torment her needlessly." + +"My dear child it _is_ best;" said Mrs. Barrington. "Can you not trust +me?" + +Lilian was not convinced but she led the way. + +"Oh, where have you been so long?" cried the invalid. "You said you +would stay--has some one come to take you away? Oh, you will not go. You +promised. It will be only a little while." + +She fell into a pitiable terror. Lilian soothed. Mr. Ledwith tried to +explain that they might possibly find the young girl's father who was +now a prosperous man. + +But Mrs. Boyd would not be persuaded. She began to talk incoherently, +and suddenly raising her head and leaning on one elbow said--"send them +away. It is all true as I told you. You are not my own child, but I have +loved you all these years, oh, you _will_ stay with me! I can feel that +it will not be for long. It is there in the drawer--I wrote it out. It +took so long and I was so tired, so tired! Give it to them and send +them away. Oh, Lilian, he is not your father. Promise me you will not go +with him." + +Lilian opened the drawer. There lay quite a big packet, with the +superscription,--"For my daughter Lilian when I am dead." + +She simply handed it to Mr. Ledwith. He and Mrs. Barrington left the +room. Mrs. Boyd gave way to a wild fit of weeping and Lilian had much +ado to comfort her, but presently she soothed her to slumber. + +"Who heard this story or confession?" he asked as they entered the +library. + +"Mrs. Dane and Miss Arran." + +"Will they come and listen? They can tell whether the two will agree and +point out any discrepancy." + +It was written in a shaky hand and evidently at intervals, many words +misspelled and phrases repeated, but with a passionate sincerity and an +overwhelming love for the child whose mother she thought dead, and she +fancied the baby might be thrown on the charity of the world, but she +knew even then it was not her baby but the longing for the child was +pitiful. Mrs. Barrington was reading it and now and then her voice +faltered. + +"Oh," said Miss Arran, "they are alike except that this seems more +pathetic. There is no doubt of the truth in my mind. Of course _she_ saw +the difference as Miss Lilian grew older and she was afraid she might +have defrauded her of some better fortune. Oh, I pity the poor woman +profoundly. She had a hard life. Mrs. Barrington, this must have seemed +a haven of rest to her. Providence must have guided you." + +"It is certainly remarkable," subjoined Mr. Ledwith. "I will see Dr. +Kendricks this evening, but I think we had better wait until after +Christmas so as not to mar the happy reunion of that day. Then we must +see how the Major will take it. It is one of the things he almost never +refers to, and he was afraid of intensifying the loss by having the body +brought here for burial. Truly there are many strange happenings in this +world. I am requested to look up another child that was given out for +adoption, and now has a fortune coming to it after twenty years." + + + + +CHAPTER X + +UNRAVELING TANGLED THREADS + + +Sunday morning was glorious. There had been a light fall of snow and +every tree and shrub was in feathery whiteness, while the sky was as +blue as June. The sun came up through the long levels of yellow light +more golden than ever until every branch and twig shimmered in +iridescent hues. + +Lilian bathed and dressed herself, now and then leaning over her mother +who seemed to breathe regularly, but the face was thin and pallid, and +the soft hair seemed to have whitened in these few days. She bent over +and kissed the cool forehead. + +Miss Arran looked in. + +"Oh, is it all right? I left you at two; there really was no need of +watches as I was just across the hall, but I think you confine yourself +too closely. Now you must go down and take a walk on the porch. The +morning air has a positive balminess in it. It really should be +Christmas morning with the angels singing for very joy." + +Lilian looked undecided. Yet the very thought of sunshine and fresh air +was reviving. + +"I will call you the moment she wakes," said Miss Arran, and the girl +went. + +Oh, how delightful it was! She drew in long breaths and gave a great, +fervent thanksgiving. Yes, it was good to live, to be able to work, to +have a purpose in life and see the way to attain it. + +She went in presently. Her mother had just wakened. She bathed her face +and hands with fragrant water, brushed her hair and put on a pretty +dressing sacque of her own. Then she had some breakfast which she +appeared to enjoy. + +"I feel so drowsy," she said. "I am so comfortable and at ease." + +That was much to be thankful for. + +"Lilian will you do me a favor this morning," began Mrs. Barrington in +her most persuasive voice. "I want you to go to church with me. The +Crawford family will be there to give thanks. And we have learned that +your mother was in the same fearful accident and her escape was a +marvel. All these years Mrs. Crawford has been an invalid but she has +borne her suffering with exemplary patience. Dr. Kendricks went out at +once but there was scarcely any hope of her living then. Your mother +spoke of a beautiful woman they thought dying or dead--do you +remember?" + +"Oh, yes. A woman with such lovely golden hair. Miss Zaidee's is +exquisite, too. Yes, I will go. I should like to see her. How strange it +all is! And my own mother, it seems, was among the killed." + +"It was terrible. Of course your mother going away so soon did not hear +all of it. Yes, I want you to go with me." + +Dr. Kendricks made his visit and saw there was little change. Several of +the girls were going and they started early. Mrs. Barrington kept two +pews on one side of the church, which was all in Christmas attire with +wreaths of holly here and there, and clusters of golden flowers dried in +their natural colors. The altar was fragrant with real blossoms and to +Lilian there came a deeper emotion than reverence; something she had +never experienced before. She who had no joy of her very own must +rejoice in that of others and search out the blessings of the spirit, +find a way into the other kingdom, where the things one hungers and +longs for are laid up against the time one is fitted for the pure and +high enjoyment of them. The strength of the steadfast waiting, the lives +that touched with near or remote sympathy and held God's promise for +today, for all time. There was something kept for those who wearied +not, that was bestowed when the soul had come to understand the true +source of beneficent living. + +She had been listening to the beautiful music and now there was a sudden +hush while several of the congregation entered. There were Major and +Mrs. Crawford, and certainly curious eyes might be pardoned as she +walked up the aisle with a graceful step. Oh, yes, she _was_ a lovely +woman, as in sweet humility and reverence she bowed her head. + +Then followed Zay and the fine looking midshipman who showed his pride +in every line. What it must be to have a brother like that! Yet there +was no envy in Lilian's soul, since all these joys and privileges were +far beyond her. But she had a quick, responsive nature when anything +really touched her, and she joyed sincerely in this other's joy. + +The service was gracious and comforting even to her. Hundreds of years +ago ignorant shepherds sat watching their flocks all the long starlight +night, and then the song of the angels, the great promise, the new era, +the blessedness for the whole world that each might take his share. + +And the reverent prayer of this, Thy servant, delivered from her bodily +illness who desired to return thanks in the presence of all Thy people +touched her heart to tears, and she joined in it fervently. + +The class did not stay for the whole service. Lilian hurried home, glad +to escape the chatter of the curious. Her mother had just roused. + +"It was such a sweet, comforting service. I wish you could have heard +it, and--" would she understand about Mrs. Crawford--her "beautiful +woman?" + +"I'm afraid when you leave me. Don't go away again," and the thin lips +quivered. + +"But you have slept all the time, and you _do_ feel better." + +"If I could move about--" fretfully. + +"Can I help?" + +"Oh, no. I want to do it myself, but my limbs won't stir. Is it spring, +that the sun shines so?" + +"No, dear. Tomorrow will be Christmas." + +"Do you remember Sally? She had a party you know and you wouldn't go--" + +"But I was only a little girl, a school girl, and they were young +ladies." + +"Lilian do you mean never to have a lover? It is the happiest time for a +girl. He takes you out and buys you pretty little things. He gave me +that work box on Christmas, and a ring afterward. I don't see how God +could have let him get killed--we were so happy. He wasn't your father. +Both his babies died. Do you suppose he found them in heaven?" + +Mrs. Boyd began to cry. Her mind wandered considerably now. Lilian tried +to read to her but she broke in with irrelevant snatches that had been +pleasures to her long ago until she dropped off to sleep again. + +There was a rather joyous time in the morning. Mrs. Barrington +remembered her household and the girls who had been compelled to stay. + +Lilian gave thanks for two beautiful volumes of poetry. Miss Arran +remembered her with a box of very nice stationery, Mrs. Dane with some +handkerchiefs, Mrs. Barrington went to the dinner at Crawford House, but +the girls complained of the dullness. Lilian was so used to being +sufficient for herself, so fond of reading that the day passed even if +it had no Christmas joys. + +It was very happy at Crawford House. Vincent had arrived in the morning +and added to their joy. Zay was bright and animated and the three +planned many delights for the future. + +"There ought to be some young people," said the mother, "but we couldn't +have both and yours will come later on. I wanted these dear old friends +who have been such a comfort in my hard and trying years and then I +shall begin over with you and be young again." + +"And I was proud enough when I found I was put on the list for a three +years' cruise," declared Willard, "and now the thought quite unmans me. +But we may stop at some place where you can all take a flying trip." + +"It can't be next summer," said Vincent. "I have engaged them for my +grand occasion. Next June I shall be a full fledged soldier and there +will be the ball in which Zay will shine a star of the first magnitude." + +"And set the day after," laughed the girl. "Oh, Phil Rosewald wants to +come and half a dozen others, but I suppose you can't invite so many +sisters and cousins." + +Vincent drew his face in an amusing half frown. "Is Phil as funny as +ever? Doesn't she sometimes jump over the traces? And how about the +lovers? I think she had them ever since she stepped out of the cradle." + +"In the multitude there is safety," said their father. + +Mrs. Barrington could not keep her thoughts from the lonely girl +watching beside the dying woman. Oh, how would she get to her true place +in the bright happy group. For years she had been as dead to them. Would +Zay, who had garnered all the love and tenderness in her own girlish +heart, be willing to share it? + +Dr. Kendricks drew her a little aside. "I can't stand it!" he exclaimed, +"I couldn't break in upon this blessed day, but the thought of Miss Boyd +has haunted me every moment. I must tell the Major tomorrow morning. Oh, +how do you suppose he will take it? Mrs. Boyd is no longer reliable, her +mind fails hourly. But out of the mouth of two or three witnesses +everything shall be established. Hasn't Miss Boyd any curiosity?" + +"Very little. She thinks her mother is dead and has built no hopes about +a father and she relies upon my word. She has looked forward to caring +for herself so long that I hardly see how she will give it up. At first +she will not be glad. If the Major should doubt the story--" + +"The likeness grows upon one. I saw it so plainly this morning. She is +more like her mother than Zay and will make a fine looking woman. And I +have seen it in Mrs. Crawford a dozen times today. I no longer doubt and +I feel like an arch conspirator." + +Mrs. Crawford was enjoying herself keenly, though the nurse insisted she +must take to the sofa and let others do the talking. The children +gathered about her, full of eager love. Was there in the whole wide +world a happier mother? And yet--far away another darling lay in a +lonesome grave. She had ceased to speak of it and her husband thought +she had outlived the sorrow. In a certain way she had. + +Then the guests prepared to depart. At nine Vincent was to take his +train. + +"But you and father can run up now and then. They will be glad to see +him. They are always proud of their old graduates, especially those who +have distinguished themselves. But, I'm glad you didn't have to make a +present of your leg to the country." + +"It did come pretty near it. Ah, we have a great many mercies to be +thankful for. It seems as if there was nothing more to ask except that +you boys should keep in the right way." + +"As we shall try to," Willard returned and Vincent's eyes gave a +similar promise as he kissed his mother good-by. + +"Put on your wraps and come along with us Zay," said Willard. "You must +need an airing by this time." + +Zay was nothing loth. They talked of next summer, the elder brother +regretting that he would be in Japan in all probability. Then they said +a tender good-by, and on the homeward way Willard proposed a call on the +Norton's where there were two charming girls and a few other guests who +were having a little dance. + +"Oh, yes," assented the young midshipman. "For you see, girls will be +quite out of my line the next three years. I shall sigh for their charms +and return a critical and opinionated bachelor, judging all girls by the +novels I have read in my solitude." + +"I think I'll make you out a list," said Eva Norton, laughingly. + +"Do, and send it in a letter with your approval and disapproval of the +characters so I shall know what to copy and what to avoid. + +"And now you must have one dance." + +Zay thought it rather late, but her brother overruled and they had a +merry time, but it was midnight before they returned. + +Major Crawford and his wife often had their breakfast in the dainty +sitting room up stairs. Zay just glanced in to bid them good-morning as +Willard was impatiently calling her down. She had not slept very well +and had a headache, and she would not go out for a walk with him. She +heard her father reading the paper aloud, so she went to her room and +dropped on the bed again. Her throat began to feel sore and swollen. +When she heard the doctor's voice in the hall she leaned over the +banister and said: "Dr. Kendricks will you come up here a minute or +two?" + +"Yes, yes, what now? Did you feast too high yesterday?" + +"I don't know. I feel sick all over. First I'm all of a shiver and then +so hot and my head aches." + +"Well, we must inquire into it. Yes, you are flushed and getting +excited. I think it is a feverish cold and some indigestion. We'll soon +fix that all right. Luckily I brought my medicine chest along," and he +laughed. + +"Doctor, you don't think--are there any more cases of scarlet fever?" +and her voice was tremulous. + +"Scarlet fever! Don't get any such nonsense in your curly pate. No, +there's not another case and the little girl is recovering rapidly. Why +you've not been even exposed to it and yours is just a cold. Now, +alternate with these and I'll be in again this afternoon. But, I'd stay +in bed and rest." + +She slipped into a soft white wrapper, and Katy came in to straighten up +her room. + +"You were out late last night, Miss Zay and you've caught a cold." + +"But, I so rarely have a cold." + +"It sounds in your voice. Keep wrapped up good and warm. There's nothing +like heat to drive out those pernickety colds and I wish you'd drink +some hot water." + +"I'll see by and by." + +She turned her hot throbbing temple over on the pillow. If only she +could shut out the sight and the smell of the clairvoyant's room, and +that boy grasping for breath. It must have been something awful for them +both to die almost together and be shut up at once in their coffins; and +then a horror seized her. She had always been so well and joyous. Oh, +what if she should die? It would kill her mother. Girls were more to +their mothers; business called so many of the boys away. + +She began to cry. The doctor and her father went down stairs. She +thought her mother would come in and tried to calm the sort of +hysterical mood. What _were_ they talking about so long? Was she worse +than the doctor had admitted? She heard her father's voice rise as if in +a passion which his visitor seemed trying to subdue. Oh, what _had_ +happened? + +Her mother entered the room very pale and with frightened eyes. + +"Oh, Zay," she cried, dropping on the side of the bed, "have you any +idea what your father and Doctor Kendricks are quarreling about? Your +father is not easily excited--he used to be very quick in temper but he +has grown so gentle and considerate. But it is something that rouses him +to white heat. We have always been such dear friends since that time of +the great sorrow, and it is not about the boys, I know. Oh, Zay, what is +the matter? You look ill--you must have a fever, your eyes show it." + +"The doctor called it a feverish cold. He is coming again this +afternoon." She was half listening to the tumult in the library, and she +shook as if in an ague. + +"Oh, there they go again. Why--they are going out," and she went to the +hall to call to her husband but the door was flung to as if in a +passion. Then someone entered and ran lightly upstairs. + +"Mother, Zay, what is the row about? Father looks as if he--but he never +_does_ drink and they are going to Mrs. Barrington's." + +Zay buried her face in her hands and began to sob. + +"Oh, mother, what is it? Has Vin met with some accident? And we were so +happy yesterday! Do you remember the old story of the gods being jealous +of the happiness of mortals? There was nothing to wish for." + +"I do not know what it is, but it has excited your father desperately +and I am afraid Zay is going to be ill." + +"My dear Zay--I should not have kept you out so late last night. We +called at the Norton's and had a little dance. Don't you need the +doctor--" + +"He was in. He is coming this afternoon. Oh, my head aches--" + +"And you look fit to drop, mother. Let me call the nurse." + +Freida gently impelled Mrs. Crawford to her own room and laid her on the +lounge, making passes over her brow and chafing her cold hands. + +"Now, lie still and get tranquil, and I will see to the young lady." + +"I would like to put you in a hot bath with plenty of salt, and then +give you a good rub. Why, you have gone all to pieces, as you Americans +say." + +Zaidee made no demur. Willard went and read aloud to his mother. The +girl was bathed and rubbed and rolled in a blanket. She felt real +drowsy, but the thought haunted her--what if Louie Howe had been taken +ill with scarlet fever and they had sent word to Mrs. Barrington? Then +Louie must have confessed and the three would be implicated. No wonder +her father was angry! + +She tossed around for awhile but, in spite, of her mental excitement she +fell asleep. The luncheon hour passed; no one wanted to eat. Then Major +Crawford let himself in with his latchkey. He was very pale now. + +"Oh, is there bad news?" asked Willard. + +"It depends on--how your mother takes it. Such a strange story--I can +hardly credit it myself. Do not let us be interrupted unless I have to +summon someone," and he passed on his way upstairs. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +STANDING UP TO THE MARK + + +Lilian Boyd bathed her mother's face and hands as usual and prepared her +breakfast. Her eyes were brighter, her voice stronger, but the girl +noticed that her face seemed a little swollen and the lines about her +mouth had lost their flexibility. + +"You are surely better. You have more appetite," yet the tone was not +hopeful. + +"Oh, my dear, it is nearer the end, and it is best. You will do better +without me, and what if you should find someone--a father to be proud of +you? Such things have happened, and I may have kept you out of something +that was your right. Oh, will God forgive me?" + +Lilian caught the thin hand and pressed it to her lips. + +"Mother, you must not worry about this. Suppose my own mother was a +widow like you going to a new home to earn her living. Why, I might have +been put in some Children's Asylum. And I have had many comforts and a +love willing to make sacrifices. I have been a dreamy girl building air +castles for the future, but I would have worked hard to make them real. +I see now how much is needed and I am not afraid----" + +"Oh, if I could think you had lost nothing through my selfish love----" + +"But it was your friend who sent us here. And you are not sorry we +came?" + +"Oh, my child, it was truly God's providence. Mrs. Barrington has been +so good. She will help you to attain your best aims. Since we have been +here I have realized the difference between us that I only felt vaguely +before. You belong to these people. You have their ways and it is not +all education, either. This is why I feel your people could not have +been in the common walks of life." + +She paused, exhausted. + +"Now, you must not talk any more but try to sleep. Shall I read to you?" + +"No, not now. Oh, Lilian, you will not tire of me? You will not leave +me? It cannot be long----" + +"No, no, and this will be my home. Let that comfort you." + +Lilian took up some embroidery. Mrs. Barrington had merely looked in to +inquire. How still the house seemed, and she was in a highly nervous +mood. What if Major Crawford should not believe the story? Well, Lilian +Boyd should never know how near she had come to being a heroine of +romance, and she should achieve some of her desires. + +Mrs. Boyd drowsed. Yes, it was really the providence of God that she +should be removed. She would always have the things she most desired, +which she, Mrs. Boyd could not have given her in the pretty home Lilian +had been planning. She had been happy with her lover, then her husband. +But, Lilian would shrink from the kiss of the grimy man fresh from his +hard work, and after his brief ablutions, sitting down to supper in his +shirt sleeves and then lighting his pipe and pushing his baby up and +down the front walk, jesting and laughing with the neighbors. There were +blocks of them, most of them happy women, too, except when the babies +came too fast or died out of their arms. And a few games of cards in the +evening, a play now and then merry enough to keep one laughing. No, it +would never have done for Lilian. + +And she would feel out of place in the life to which the girl aspired. +She would never get quite at ease with these refined friends whose talk +was of books and music and the part great men and women were playing in +the world. + +How many times does one have a foreshadowing of the real things that +affect life! One may be heavy hearted for days groping about fearsomely +and suddenly the cloud lifts without any misfortune. Then swift in the +happiest hour comes the stroke that crushes one. Lilian looked straight +ahead in her life. She would serve her time here and repay Mrs. +Barrington for her generous kindness. + +In a lovely old town like Mount Morris, the lines of caste get +unconsciously drawn. Where people have lived hundreds of years and can +trace back to some titled ancestor perhaps, where they have never known +the hard grind of poverty, but have worked on the higher lines. There +had been several noted clergymen, two bishops, scholars, senators and +even an ambassador abroad. There was no especial pride in this, it was +simply what was to be expected of sons growing up in this refined, +upright and moral atmosphere. But they sometimes passed rather proudly +by those of the next lower round who bent their energies to money +making. + +Lilian had soon come to understand that and her personal pride kept her +aloof from any chance of snubs. But she would want a wider world +presently that was not bounded by a grandfather or a fortune that had +descended through generations. + +There were moments when Mrs. Boyd's confession seemed a feverish dream. +She did not dare build anything on it, because she had indulged in some +romantic dreams and longings, because there had been wounded vanity +almost to a sense of shame, she held herself to a strict account. No +matter what she might gain here, she would always be considered Mrs. +Boyd's daughter. She had not expected to be received with the young +ladies of the school, and had taken no notice of the little rudenesses +that might have had a better excuse if she had been trying to crowd in. +So all the refinements of birth and education did not always conduce to +the higher generosity of heart. + +Miss Arran came gently in the room with an anxious glance toward the +bed. + +"Mrs. Barrington wishes to see you in the library, Miss Boyd. I will +stay here with your mother." + +Lilian laid down her work as she rose and said: "Mother is asleep now." + +Then she went slowly down the wide stairway, her eyes lingering on some +of the panels that had been painted in by a true artist. + +"My dear child," the lady said in a voice that seemed full of emotion, +"you must have felt from the beginning that I had taken an unusual +interest in you. You suggested some person that I could not quite place, +but came to know afterward that it was one of my early scholars, a most +charming girl. She married happily and had two sons, but they both +longed for a daughter. Providence listened to their prayers and sent +them a double portion, two lovely girls. My friend's husband was a +soldier stationed on the frontier and in an Indian raid was quite +severely wounded. It was not deemed best to risk moving him and she +resolved to go out to him. One of the babies, the first born was larger +and stronger than the other, and she determined to take this one with a +most excellent nurse she had. You heard the story Mrs. Boyd told. My +friend was in the same frightful accident--the nurse was killed +outright, but the baby by some miracle had not so much as a scratch. The +only other baby was crushed beyond recognition." + +Lilian sprang up, then the room seemed to swim round. She caught at the +chair back to steady herself and gave a great gasp. + +"Oh, and my mother, Mrs. Boyd, took the child, but they all thought the +nurse the real mother. And, oh--she could not bear to give up the baby. +Oh, you must forgive her." + +"In the confusion I can see that it was very easily done. Dr. Kendricks +went out at once. He found the mother gravely injured and the word was +that the baby was dead. It was beyond recognition. Mrs. Boyd, who had +only been stunned, had gone on her way. You have heard her side of the +story, knowing the other side when Miss Arran detailed it, we sent for +Dr. Kendricks and pieced it all together. You have been so occupied with +your supposed mother, and I must say you have been a devoted daughter, +that you have hardly noted our excitement and interest. The confession +established the facts beyond a doubt in our minds, but we were not sure +how the father would take it. And the place has altered immeasurably; +there have been so many accidents since, that that has passed into +oblivion. But no one can dispute the proof. Your mother was a noticeably +handsome girl; but there is a curious resemblance, and it grows upon +one." + +"And I am scarcely handsome at all," the girl said, slowly. + +"Have you no curiosity to know whom you belong to?" studying Lilian +intently. + +"Oh, I dare not ask, I hardly dare believe! It is so mysterious. She, +yes, I will call her mother, though there might be a father somewhere. +And was that beautiful woman they believed dying----" + +Lilian clasped her hands over her eyes. Like a flash it seemed to pass +before her. Zay Crawford's double, some of the girls had called her. + +"Oh," she cried, "can I endure it? What if they do not want me?" + +"If they had doubted the story it would have been kept from you. Can you +guess--" + +Lilian flung herself in Mrs. Barrington's arms, with a long, dry sob. + +"Oh, do not give me up," she cried imploringly. "Let me stay with you. I +will serve you faithfully for I love you, and these people are +strangers----" + +"Think, what it must be after her years of sorrow to clasp her child in +her arms; to know that it had been well cared for, tenderly loved. Oh, +she is your own mother and you will come to love her dearly. This +morning Dr. Kendricks was to tell Major Crawford the story. Fifteen +minutes ago word came that they would be here. Lilian, your father feels +hard toward Mrs. Boyd. You know Dr. Kendricks would have recognized you +if she had not taken you away, and it is only natural that he should +feel indignant." + +"Must I see him before she--she cannot last long. Oh, she must not hear +this, and I will not leave her until the very last." + +Then the child suggested her father. + +"There they come," exclaimed Mrs. Barrington. + +The two men entered the drawing room. Lilian clung to Mrs. Barrington, +but that lady impelled her forward. + +"This is your daughter, Major Crawford," she said, "and this, my dear, +is your own father." + +Lilian stood like a statue. It was as if she was turning to stone. Oh, +he could not deny her. The clear cut features, the golden bronze hair, +the proud figure that seemed to add dignity to the whole. So, her mother +had stood, in girlhood. + +"Oh, my child! my child! have you no word of gladness for me after these +long years! The baby I never saw--my Marguerite." + +Was her tongue frozen and her lips stiff? Oh, what should she say? How +could she welcome this stranger? + +"And that cruel woman has stolen your love from us, as she stole your +beautiful body. Oh, where is she? Let me see her!" + +"You were to keep calm, Major," exclaimed the doctor. "We have gone over +all this, and the poor woman is dying. To upbraid her now would be +nothing short of murder." + +The Major glanced wildly around. "Why think of _our_ loss and sorrow. +She _knew_ the child was not hers. And she ran off like a thief in the +night. Oh, I can't forgive her." + +"Oh, you must," cried the girl with the first gleam of emotion she had +shown. "For she mistook the nurse for the mother. Everything must have +been in confusion. She thought of me as a motherless baby, perhaps to be +cast on charity----" + +"But all these years! And poverty, when a lovely home awaited you; +brothers and a sweet sister and such a mother! Oh, she ought to know and +suffer for the crime." + +"She was almost crazy with her own grief. And she was good and tender +and devoted to me. She shall not suffer for it in her dying moments." + +She stood there proudly, her face a-light with a sort of heroic +devotion. So her mother would have taken up any wrong. Was he unduly +bitter? + +"Oh, my darling, have you no love for me? No want for your own sweet +mother--" + +Something in his pleading tone touched her and his face betrayed strong +agitation. His arms seemed to hang listlessly by his side. She took a +few steps toward him and then they suddenly clasped her in a vehement +embrace. + +The doctor glanced at Mrs. Barrington and they both left the room. + +"It has been a hard fight," he said. "He was so enraged at first that I +was afraid he would come and have it out with the dying woman. The fact +that she knew the child was not hers and yet took it away seemed to stir +all the blood in his body. Poor thing--one has to feel sorry for her; +but he raged over the privations he thought his child had endured, and +her being here in an equivocal position. The Crawfords were always very +proud. And one could not expect a girl just in the dawn of womanhood to +fly to a stranger's arms." + +"Yet it took her so by surprise, and she has a proud, reticent nature." + +"Let us go and see Mrs. Boyd." + +Major Crawford felt the girl's heart beating against his own. He raised +the face and kissed it, amid tears, deeply touched. + +"You must forgive me. You do not know what it is to have some one stand +between you and your child all these years. I used to dream how it would +have been with twin girls running about, climbing one's knees, doing a +hundred sweet and tender things. Zay has been so lovely, so loving; but +all these years we never forgot you. We gave the most fervent thanks for +your mother's recovery, and when you are safe in her arms--oh, it seems +almost as if it was too much joy." + +"It is so strange," and her voice was tremulous. "For I never could have +dreamed of anything like this. I did not dream, for it seemed as if a +man who had lost wife and child would want to begin over again, and in a +good many ways I tried to believe I had been too visionary--longing for +things quite beyond my reach. So I have been praying that God would send +what was best for me and trying to make myself content. Oh, are you +quite sure there is no mistake?" and there was a pitifully beseeching +sound in her voice. + +"If we can believe that thief of a woman. Oh, to think she should carry +away our baby and leave us her little dead child," and the only half +conquered passion flamed up in his face again. + +"But, you see, if I had been the nurse's child as she thought, the poor +nurse who was dead, it would be a brave and tender act----" + +"I have no pity for her. You must come away. Oh, Marguerite, there is +your own sweet mother, who when she hears will want to clasp you to her +heart at once. And Zaidee, your twin sister----" + +She shrank and stiffened a little. Zaidee Crawford would not be so glad +to welcome her. She felt it in her inmost heart. For she had been the +pet and darling of the household all these years. All the girls had paid +her a curious sort of homage. She had been invested with a halo of +romance, and generous as she seemed with her equals, she had established +a rigorous distance between them. Lilian fancied she was annoyed by the +suggestion of a resemblance between them. + +Her father was momentarily piqued by the unyielding lines of her figure +and the hesitancy. + +"Oh, my child you must take in the strength, the absolute reality of our +claim, unless you cannot believe this woman--" + +"I would stake my very life on her truth, and I can recall so many +things that seemed strange to me then, especially these last two years. +She so dreaded leaving me alone in the world, and I am not willing to +embitter her last moments. You see she never thought of my parents being +in a much higher walk in life, and the knowledge that she had kept me +out of so much would be a cruel stab. No, let me wait until it is all +over, and you have accepted the strange story truly. There are others +beside yourself----" + +Her eyes were full of tears as she raised them. It _was_ noble to take +this view, though he really grudged it. + +"You mean then to stay here until--" + +"I have promised sacredly, solemnly. There may be some things to +certify. Mrs. Barrington spoke of one, that the confession, ought to be +signed before witnesses." + +"Yes, though we should never doubt. And if there was any question there +might be a legal adoption;" then he paused. His wife had not heard the +story yet. Yes, his anger had hurried him along with scarcely a thought +of all that needed to be done. He had dreamed of the joy of bringing the +mother and daughter together. Yes, she must be prepared. + +"Perhaps you are right," he admitted, reluctantly. "Yet--oh, how can I +leave you. It seems as if the joy would vanish." + +"I do not think I shall vanish," and she half smiled through her tears. + +The doctor came downstairs with a grave face. + +"There has been a sudden change. The paralysis has crept upward. She is +moaning for you. Go to her." + +Lilian flashed out of the room. + +"Are you convinced?" asked the doctor. + +"Oh, positively. And what a noble girl! I hate to have her love that +woman so, and yet it shows a true and generous nature. Why, I think some +girls would have gone wild over the prospect." + +"Mrs. Barrington is enthusiastic about her and she has had a wide +experience with girls. But my dear Major, there is a good deal to be +done. Your wife must hear the story, and we must consider _her_ health, +her nervous system must not have too severe a shock. And this Mrs. Boyd +must attest her confession in some way. She can hardly speak +intelligibly. With your permission, I'll hunt up Ledwith. It's best to +have everything secure." + +"Yes, yes. And, doctor, I want to apologize for my anger and unreason +this morning. Why, we are half brutes after all. I believe I could have +almost murdered that woman for stealing my darling baby and sneaking off +without a word of inquiry. I do not yet see how Marguerite can forgive +her for keeping her out off her birthright all these years; for dragging +her through poverty and all kinds of menial labor; and here she was the +caretaker's daughter! Think of it--my child, Zay's sister! Even now when +the child pleads for her so earnestly I cannot really forgive her. Will +you pardon me for my outbreak? My child is tenderer and more generous +than I." + +"The poor woman has come to the last stages. It is a matter of only a +few days. It would be cruel to part them now." + +"You are all against me," with a sad smile. + +"You must go home and explain this matter to Mrs. Crawford, and to your +sister. Then send the confession to Ledwith. I will see him. And, oh, I +promised to drop in and see Zay. She has some nervous crochet in her +head." + +"Is she really ill?" the father asked in alarm. + +"She has some cold and a little fever. Don't excite her." + +They walked away together. The doctor found Zay's fever much higher and +she was in a state of great excitement. + +"Oh, what has happened," she cried. "What was papa so angry about? And +you took him away----" + +"A matter of business that he could not look at reasonably at first. And +it may be a delightful surprise for you, so you must do your utmost to +get well. Men have many bothers, my dear." + +"It was not about Vincent?" + +"Oh, dear, no. There was a telegram from him. He reached West Point all +right, and all is going well. Now, I shall give you a composing draught +and order you to sleep all the afternoon." + +"And the fever?" tremulously. + +"That's simply cold and nervousness. You will be about well tomorrow," +and he laughed. + +"Mrs. Barrington was--oh, I suppose the girls who stayed had a dull +time." + +"I didn't hear any complaints. I guess they are all right. Don't you +worry about them or anybody." + +If she could hear that Louie Howe was well; maybe Phil would write +tomorrow. Oh, she couldn't be seriously ill or the doctor wouldn't be so +indifferent about it. If she only could go to sleep and forget about the +Clairvoyant's awful den! + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +OH, WILL I BE WELCOME? + + +There was a late luncheon and then the Major returned to his wife's +sitting room where Aunt Kate was keeping her company with some exquisite +needlework for her darling, Zay, who had insisted upon being left alone. + +"I have a curious story to read to you that concerns us all. I am glad +to have you here, Kate, as a sort of ballast. It was what excited me so +this morning and I was very unreasonable. The doctor threatened to put +me in a straight jacket." + +Aunt Kate laughed. Mrs. Crawford studied her husband intently. + +"Oh, go on with your work. I shall feel more composed." He turned his +chair a little, ostensibly for the light, but so that his wife might not +watch his face. + +He began with Mrs. Boyd's list of misfortunes after her few years of +happiness and her resolve to go out to her brother's. At times he +stumbled over the poor penmanship and halted. + +"Why, it must have been the train I was on," interrupted Mrs. Crawford. +"I remember there was a woman with a delicate looking child. I believe +ours were the only two babies. Oh, if I had not taken my little darling! +But she was so well and strong, such a fine happy baby, and nurse Jane +was so good." + +Mrs. Boyd had hurried briefly over the terrible collision. + +"Everett," interrupted his sister with an indignant emphasis, "why +recall that awful happening. It can do us no good now." + +Mrs. Crawford leaned her head on her hand and balanced her elbow on the +broad arm of the chair. + +The Major's voice shook slightly. Mrs. Boyd had been quite graphic about +her calling for the baby, her care of it from midnight to the next +morning and settling her mind to what the woman had said; her resolve to +keep the child when she heard the other mother had been killed. She +sprang up suddenly. + +"Oh, it was nurse Jane who was killed. And she took my baby, my darling. +Oh, who was she? Can we ever find her?" + +Then she fainted and her husband caught her in his arms. + +"Oh, you have killed her!" cried Miss Crawford. "How could you recount +that awful time of suffering, and that the woman should steal the baby! +Oh, that was just it, there's no use mincing matters!" + +It was some minutes before Mrs. Crawford regained consciousness, then +she gazed imploringly in her husband's face. + +"Oh, tell me--where is my darling? Is she really alive. Can we find +her?" + +"She has been found. She is well and in good hands. Oh, my dear wife, I +felt vengeful at first, but I have come to pity the poor thing. +Marguerite pleaded for her. And we must be thankful that she had the +courage to confess the matter." + +"Then--you have seen her?" + +The voice was shaken with emotion. + +"She is at Mrs. Barrington's." + +"Oh, can't we go to her? My dear baby, my darling Marguerite! Why, it is +almost as if she had been sent from heaven." + +"My dear--" her husband caught her in his arms or she would have fallen +in her eagerness. "Oh, it will all come right, but you must be patient +and get stronger. There are reasons why she cannot come, or you cannot +go, and you must hear the rest of the story." + +"Everett," began his sister, "how do you _know_ but that this is a +scheme to extort money. How can you be sure it is your child? There are +so many swindlers or blackmailers in the world." + +He was arranging his wife on the couch, thankful she had borne the +tidings so well. Then he seated himself beside her, bending over to kiss +the pallid lips. + +"There can scarcely be any chance for fraud. No one would profit by it, +and now, shall I go on with the story?" + +They both acquiesced. + +There was something so pathetic in the fostermother's love for the child +and her fear of its being cast on the world as no one seemed to know +anything about the supposed mother. Then her return to her early home; +her struggles against misfortune, poverty and ill health, and after a +little, her dismay at finding the child so different from what she had +been herself, so ambitious, so longing for refinement and showing such a +distaste for common ways. The failure of her own health, the +impossibility of keeping the girl at school any longer when Mrs. +Barrington's proffer had seemed a perfect godsend. But it was too late +to recover the health that had been so shattered by poverty and hard +work. + +"Well, if it _is_ true she was a courageous woman," declared Miss +Crawford. "One can't forgive her for taking the child without making a +single inquiry." + +"But everything was in such confusion, and you will remember that +Marguerite lay unconscious for a long while, just hovering between life +and death. And at that time, in the western countries there were not so +many safeguards. When Dr. Kendricks reached the place, Jane and the baby +had been temporarily buried. Yes, it was easy for the thing to happen +when Mrs. Boyd wanted the baby so much. I can hardly forgive her, but we +must admit that the confession showed an earnest desire to repair the +wrong." + +"Where is she?" + +"At Mrs. Barrington's. Dr. Kendricks thinks she can last but a few days +longer and the child is resolved to stay until the end. I tried to shake +her determination but found it useless." + +"I admire her for it," said Mrs. Crawford. + +"I should doubt her fervent love if it could be transferred so easily +from poverty to wealth. Yes, I am proud of my dear daughter whom I have +not seen in fifteen years. But the whole story is marvellous." + +"And yet there is nothing impossible about it. We can see how simply it +all happened." + +"What is she like?" + +"Mrs. Barrington was quite puzzled about a resemblance to some one, and +she thinks it you. She has not the radiant beauty of your girlhood, +neither has she the dazzling charm of Zay. Oh, I think she is the most +like Willard; rather too grand for a girl of sixteen, with a great deal +of dignity. Oh, you should hear Mrs. Barrington talk about her. And how +do you suppose she and the doctor kept the secret yesterday! They knew +it would disturb our happy Christmas. And _she_ was nursing the sick +woman." + +"Oh, did she know?" + +"Not that she was our daughter until this morning. I felt bewildered +over it all," and Major Crawford gave a deep drawn sigh. + +His wife pressed his hand. Her tears were flowing silently. + +"Well--it will be very strange to have her here," remarked Miss +Crawford. "But I warn you, Zay will always be the dearest to me." + +Twilight was falling around them. Mrs. Crawford would never have her own +lights early. This was her favorite hour with her husband. Aunt Kate +stole softly to Zay's room and found her sleeping tranquilly, the fever +mostly gone. + +"Oh, I wonder how you will take it," she mused. "You have been the +darling of the household so long." + +For somehow, she was not in a mood to welcome this newcomer. True, there +must be the strongest proof or Major Crawford would not have been +convinced or allowed himself to get in such a passion with this Mrs. +Boyd. But a girl reared amid the commonest surroundings, enduring the +straits of poverty, lack of education, no accomplishments, how could she +take her place in the front rank of Mount Morris society? And the +boys--how would they accept this rusticity and probably self conceit? + +Major Crawford and his wife often fell into tender and mysterious +confidences at this hour, that were never shared with others. They were +very happy in her recovery though the last two years she had suffered +very little. But she did not want to depute the care of her daughter +growing into womanhood entirely to Aunt Kate who had many worldly aims +and prejudices, and who was very proud of her niece's beauty. And now +such a load was lifted from her soul that had never quite forgiven +itself for taking her finest baby on the unfortunate journey. + +"Oh, I must see her," she cried in a whisper. + +"But she will not come here until all is over with that poor woman. I do +not see how she can care so much for her." + +"My dear, it shows a true and strong regard. Remember it is the only +mother she has ever known. To turn at once would show a volatile +disposition. I have been afraid of that in Zaidee, who is easily taken +with new friends, though I will admit that she does not discard the old +ones. But I wish sometimes other people were not so easily attracted by +her." + +"But she is charming," said the admiring father. + +"I hope they will love each other. We must expect a little jealousy at +first. And you think she is not--that her narrow life has not dwarfed +her." + +"Oh, you should listen to Mrs. Barrington's enthusiasm. You see, it was +not an easy place to fill, after all. She was in some of the classes, +but she held herself aloof. Then she taught a little among the younger +day scholars, and kept a certain supervision in the evening study hour. +Her mother's position was a sort of handicap, she was so very meek and +retiring. All women cannot add dignity to an inferior position, and +young people are very apt to take them according to the position. Mrs. +Barrington was planning some changes for the new term that would be +brought about by the passing away of the poor woman. I think she meant, +in a way, to adopt her." + +"Oh, she must be worthy, to have made such a friend." + +And the mother was wondering, but dared not ask what Marguerite had +grown into. She was not like Zay, all the coloring was darker. Willard +was fine looking for a young man, but would it not be rather masculine +for a girl? She had a fancy for the soft attractiveness in a woman. + +Then the light came and dinner. Mrs. Crawford went to Zay's room +afterward and found her comfortable and better, with no recurrence of +fever, and they had a pleasant little chat. + +The next morning a letter came from Phillipa, full of merry nonsense +about gifts and gayety and lovers. She was very well, with the very +underscored, and two engagements for every evening. She had not heard +from Louie, "but I should have if her little finger had ached; she +would have been afraid of some distemper. And I hope you are all having +a splendid time." + +Afterward Dr. Kendricks came in. Yes, she was better, the throat was all +right; there was a slight remnant of the cold, and it would be best to +be careful for a few days. Oh, yes, she could dress herself and go about +the house, but not out driving. + +"You danced a little too much Christmas night, though for the life of me +I don't see what you were so nervous about." + +She flushed and laughed and felt that she had escaped a great danger. + +Then he and the Major set out together, meeting Mr. Ledwith at the +school. The doctor went upstairs. Lilian met him with anxious eyes. + +"Yes, there has been a great change. She has gone more rapidly than I +thought. Can she speak?" + +"Hardly. Now and then a word. Yet she understands all that I say to +her," Lilian returned, gravely. "But she was quite restless during the +night." + +He nodded. "You see, my dear Miss Boyd--you will be that until you take +your new name, the confession has no signature. It might never be +called in question but sometimes, years afterward, in the various +changes of property, it might be necessary to establish a legal +identity. Can you make her understand this? And you can attest most of +her story. I will call up Mr. Ledwith. And your father is most desirous +of being present. He will make no trouble." + +She went out in the hall to meet him. + +"My dear," he said, "I am more reasonable than I was yesterday. Your +lovely mother has placed some views in a different light, and she is +most glad that you have never lacked for a fervent love and care. And we +both forgive her." + +"Oh, thank you for that. Though Mrs. Barrington advises that she had +better not be told of the discovery. You see she is so tranquil now, +knowing that I am provided for." + +Then they entered the room. Mrs. Boyd scarcely noticed them, but her +eyes questioned Lilian, who began to explain, holding the poor hand in +hers. Mrs. Boyd seemed confused at first, then she said with some +difficulty--"Yes, yes." + +Lilian and Miss Arran pillowed her up in a sitting posture and placed +the material on a portable desk. + +"It is just to sign your name." + +She seemed to listen as Mr. Ledwith read the affadavit, and nodded, +with her eyes on Lilian, who put the pen in her hand, but she could not +clasp it. + +"I think you will have to guide it. She does not understand." + +Lilian took the poor shaking hand in hers, and the sick woman looked up +into her face and smiled. + +It was written, but even Lilian's hand shook a little. "Emma Eliza +Boyd." + +"That is all, dear," said the girl. + +She made a great effort to articulate, and her eyes had a frightened +look in them. "You--will not--go?" + +"Oh, no, no," returned Lilian, with a kiss. + +"Tired--tired," she gasped. + +They laid her down and gave her a spoonful of stimulant but she only +swallowed a little of it. + +The others left the room. Dr. Kendricks shook his head slowly. Mr. +Ledwith gave the last page of the confession to Major Crawford. Lilian +sat on the side of the bed, chafing the cool hands that had grown more +helpless since yesterday, and presently Mrs. Boyd slept, but one could +hardly note the breathing. + +Mrs. Barrington looked in and beckoned to Lilian. + +"Your own mother is here," she said softly. "And I feel like putting in +another claim, but I cannot displace the rightful one. You will find her +in the library." + +Lilian went slowly down. The beautiful woman she had seen in church, the +woman who had lain like dead when Mrs. Boyd glanced upon her, the mother +who had missed her all these years! The tall figure rose with the +softness of a cloud longing to embrace the moon, with arms outstretched, +and the child went to them in the caress of divine satisfaction. For +this was the mother of her dreams and ideals, and their souls were as +one. + +They kissed away each other's tears. + +"I felt that I _must_ come, that I _must_ see you. But I am not going to +take you away, much as I long for you, since you have a sacred duty +here. When that is finished we will begin our lives together. At first, +your father was mad with jealousy that _she_ should have dared to love +you so much, but now he is glad as I am that you did not suffer from +coldness or indifference. That would have broken my heart." + +"And I am afraid I did not always return love for love. I was always +dreaming, desiring something I had not. She worked for me all those +early years. I had resolved as soon as was possible to be her caretaker, +to put in her life the things she desired, whether they pleased me or +not. It did not take much to make her happy." + +"And no man can understand the longing of a woman's soul when her child +has been torn from her arms. Poor empty arms, that no prayer can fill. +And this was why she snatched at the baby, believing it was motherless. +Yes, I forgave her and so did he when he came to look at it in the true +light. Some women, when times pressed hard in work and poverty, would +have placed you in an institution----" + +"Oh, I think she would have starved first!" interrupted the girl, +vehemently. + +"And now, if God grants it, we may have a long, satisfying life +together. For He has given me back my health like a miracle, as we had +thought it could never be, and were quite resigned. And now He has +restored all that we missed, given us the oil of joy for mourning. Oh, +child, let me look at you. As a baby you were so different from Zaidee, +it hardly seemed as if you could be twins; and you are taller, yes, you +are more like Willard. But you have my eyes, and I never was fairy-like. +Oh, I hope you girls will love each other, and I want you to love me +with all your heart to make up for those years that have fallen out of +our lives." + +The exquisitely soft, silvery laugh was music to the girl's heart. Yes, +this was the ideal mother. Was there some secret quality in heredity, +after all? + +They talked on and on. She wanted to hear more particulars of her +daughter's life, but Lilian softened some of the roughest places, the +fights she had had with herself, when she felt she must give up her +cherished school, the pleasure of coming to an atmosphere like this, the +warm interest of Mrs. Barrington. + +"And now I must leave you," said the mother, "but I take with me a +delightful hope. When your duty is done here, and I appreciate your +doing it, you will find your true home in my heart and my home. Oh, I +think you will never be able to understand all my joy." + +She rose and wiped away her tears. Yes, she was beautiful enough to +adore. Her own mother! It thrilled every pulse. + +"Oh, my dear, let us both thank God for this restoration. It is like a +heavenly dream. I must have time to get used to it." + +Lilian watched her as she stepped into the phaeton, with its handsome +bays and the silver mountings. And Zaidee could have every wish +gratified; friends, music, travel. It was there for her, also. She had +never dreamed of that. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +A MOTHER'S LOVE + + +Mrs. Boyd had not stirred. Lilian bent over her and found the breathing +very faint. Miss Arran sat by the window and merely glanced up. The girl +buried her face in the pillow and heard again the soft, finely modulated +voice, the clasp of the hand that meant so much, the promise for +tomorrow. + +"If they were not so rich," her musings ran, "If I could do something +for her. Oh, it seems too much. If we could go away--but to face all the +girls, to hear the comments." + +"Miss Boyd, can you spare me a few moments," said Mrs. Dane. "Mrs. Arran +will watch." + +Lilian followed to Mrs. Dane's room. + +"Miss Boyd, I have an apology to make to you, and I am honest enough to +confess it. I can't just tell why, but I did take a dislike to you and +your mother. She seemed very weak and as if she was afraid a baleful +secret might come to light, and you were the master mind holding some +curious power over her." + +"Oh, it was not that," cried Lilian, eagerly. "It was because in her +simple life she had not been accustomed to the usages that obtained in +the larger world. Often I did guide her a little. She was very timid." + +"And it seemed to me--of course I understand it now, that you held your +head quite too high for your mother's daughter. I was brought up to do +my duty in that station of life to which it should please God to call +me, and not try to get out of it. You seemed above it--somehow----" + +"Oh, did I act that way? I was only trying to do _my_ duty to the +classes and to Mrs. Barrington. I did not mean to seem above my +station," and there was sob in her voice. + +"My dear, don't cry. My apology would not be worth half so much if I +held back part of the price. I think I was a little jealous of Mrs. +Barrington's favor for you, as I had a curious suspicion that something +not quite orthodox might come out about you, that you really were not +her child. You see I was not so far out of the way after all, and that +evening I accused you of having gone to the Clairvoyants--we had just +heard the death was from malignant scarlet fever. It would have ruined +the school for a long while to have it break out here, you know. If the +person had come out in the open so that I could have seen, but her +darting back, and I think there was more than one. It seems even now as +if it did look like you, but it might have been because it was like the +Tam you wore. And you appeared so embarrassed over it." + +"Oh, could you believe that I would have told such a falsehood?" she +cried, hurt to the very quick. + +"We thought it best to take precautions. Then Mrs. Boyd had her stroke +and then came her confession and all that has happened since. Your +devotion to that poor woman was enough to stamp the nobleness of your +character, and it is not because you are Major Crawford's daughter that +I say this--that I am ashamed of my prejudices and beg you to forgive +me. Mrs. Barrington was right from the beginning and you are worthy of +the best of fortune." + +"Oh, Mrs. Dane--" and her voice broke. + +"I should have felt myself contemptible if I had not made this amends, +and now if you will shake hands with me----" + +"Gladly. And I thank you for the kindliness towards my--yes, she _was_ +my mother all these years and the sympathy you showed me even before it +was proved who my real father was." + +"And I wish you much joy and happiness, which you will surely have. And +you will be fitted to grace any position. You will have one of the +loveliest of women for a mother, and two brothers who, so far, have been +most exemplary. And that darling, Zay--the whole town loves her." + +Lilian wiped her eyes, and pressed Mrs. Dane's hand fervently. Would Zay +proffer her a sister's love? + +She went back to Mrs. Boyd, who suddenly opened her eyes and smiled, +then the thin lids fell. How she had wasted away! She tried to recount +to herself all the kindnesses, the sacrifices Mrs. Boyd had made. And +though the boarding house had been of the commonest sort there had never +seemed any real pinches. She had even saved up money. It was the long +illness and the changes incident to it that had not only reduced their +little store, but broken her health and made her fearful of the future. +She had taken up the sewing then. Four years there had been of that. +Lilian remembered how proud she had been to enter the High School among +the best scholars. + +And some day she would teach. It was such a delightful vision. She +studied other things beside the ordinary lessons. She loved to play and +at times when she had turned her brain almost upside down she ran out +and had a game of tag with the girls. + +There were other evenings when she overcast long seams and pulled +bastings, and the last year she had learned to sew on the machine. With +scanty living and steady work, her mother had dropped down and down. But +she was glad she had offered to go in the shop. When matters were a +little easier she might try night school she had thought. + +And this beautiful school was like an entrance into a land of romance. +The luxurious living, at least it seemed so to her, would soon restore +her mother's health. The duties were light. She had time for reading and +oh, the lovely things! She did at times wish there had been some other +position for her mother, like that of Miss Arran's. But she understood +that Mrs. Boyd could not fill that. She lacked something, she had no +real dignity, no self-assertion. She allowed the girls to order her, and +Lilian wondered how these rich girls, who in some respects had polished +manners, could be so ill bred. For somehow she understood the +difference. + +There were several with whom she might have been good friends, but she +was too proud to step outside of what she considered her real station. + +And now this wonderful event had come to her and she seemed to +understand the thoughts and feelings that had been such a mystery. When +she had been clasped to her true mother's heart, it appeared to her as +if a veil had been drawn aside, and she had stepped into a larger room, +replete with all she had vaguely dreamed about. That Crawford House was +one of the fine old places, she knew, but she never thought of that +luxurious living where all the tomorrows had been provided for. She +would have gone to the simplest cottage for that mother's love. + +Would Zaidee Crawford give her a sister's warm welcome? She would never +grudge her anything money could buy; but she, Lilian, must seem like an +interloper to them. And to share her mother's love with a stranger! + +Miss Arran entered the room. + +"You ought to go to bed, Miss Boyd. I will sit here and watch. Your +mother seems asleep." + +Lilian changed her dress for a comfortable wrapper, kissed her mother's +forehead and pressed the cold hands. She did not stir; but then she had +lain this way for hours at a time. The girl drew up her cot to the side +of her mother's bed and laid down. The clocks all about were striking +midnight. + +It had not been so tranquil at Crawford House. Dinner had been rather +quiet; no one seemingly to want to talk at any length. Afterward, Major +Crawford had said-- + +"Let us all go up to mother's room. I have a singular explanation to +make to you two children. Aunt Kate has known it these two days." + +"There has seemed something mysterious in the air," exclaimed Willard, +"only I am sure nothing worse has happened to mother. She looks so +extraordinarily happy, and Zay is about again." + +"We must go back to the time of the accident," began the Major. "We +thought we had overlived the sorrow and we had never expected any joy +for the outcome." + +He paused to steady his voice, then began the story of the other woman, +the only passenger who carried an infant, her hours of unconsciousness, +her hearing the cry of the child and claiming it and then learning that +the woman she believed its mother had been killed and full of pity for +it, since her own had been mangled and carried away, resolved to take it +and care for it. She left the next day-- + +"Oh, you don't mean she took our baby," cried Willard passionately, his +eyes aflame. + +"She took our baby. She has cared for it all these years through poverty +and failing health and now that she is dying, she thought the child +ought to know. They have been at Mrs. Barrington's since some time in +August." + +Zaidee sprang up, but her face was ghostly pale and there was a +tremulous protest in her voice. + +"Oh, it is that Mrs. Boyd, the caretaker and her daughter!" she +exclaimed, drawing a long strangling breath full of protest. + +"Our daughter," said her father with emphasis. Then he went on to relate +how the matter had been brought to his notice and his unreasonable anger +at first as he could not doubt the story vouched for by Doctor +Kendricks, his interview with the child and Mrs. Barrington, Mrs. +Crawford's visit to her yesterday. + +"What a wonderful story!" Willard sprang up and began to pace the +floor. "I suppose it _is_ true. That baby couldn't have died and she +adopted another one." + +"How do we know that she did not?" said Miss Crawford, protestingly. + +"She was anxious that the girl in some manner might find her father's +people. You see, she was sure the mother was dead. Oh, there is enough +to convince you all. Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith have no doubt of the +truth of her story. There is no scheme in it. And it was thought best, +in her weakened state, not to try any explanations." + +"It was nurse Jane who died, and the dead baby was buried with her. Ah, +one glance at the girl would convince you," said the mother in the +tenderest voice. + +"But--why didn't she come here at once?" + +"She was very noble about it. And this is another factor in the story. +She would not leave the mother who had worked and toiled for her; so you +see she was not tempted by the thought of advancement. She was afraid to +believe the outcome of the story at first. Oh, I am proud of her, though +at first I was really cruel. I wanted the woman punished." + +"After all," said Willard, "if the baby had been friendless and an +orphan it would have been very noble in her." + +"You shall read her confession some day. It is pathetic. She thought +she had lost her all and clung to the baby. Oh, we must all forgive +her." + +"And what do you mean to do?" asked Miss Crawford. "It is going to make +a great stir for it cannot be kept a secret, and I hate gossip about +families." + +"Yes, the thing must be explained. I have given what of the story I want +known to a reporter this afternoon. After the poor woman has gone, +Marguerite will come here to her true home and life." + +"Why, Zay, you must have known her at the school," said Willard. "It +seems she was studying----" + +"Oh, they are all on the other side away from the boarders. She was in +the study room an hour in the evening, with the smaller girls. We were +all at a different table that we had to ourselves. And--somehow, I never +saw much of her. I didn't have to go to Mrs. Boyd for my mending." + +Aunt Kate had put her arm about Zay at the beginning of the story. The +mother noted with a pang that there was no real welcome in this +daughter's face. Was it jealousy? + +Willard stood between his parents and laid a hand on the shoulder of +each. + +"Oh," in a voice freighted with emotion. "I can't tell you how glad and +thankful I am that this sorrow of years is to be turned into such a +great all-pervading joy. We will be a perfect family again. Why, it will +be the romance of our lives! It almost makes me wish I were not going +away. And since you have seen her and are satisfied--mother----" + +He stooped to kiss her. + +"Oh," she returned, brokenly, "I want you all to love her, and be +patient with Zay. She has always been first so long." + +"I think if I was a girl I'd be wild to have a sister to tell things +to--the little things a fellow tells his sweetheart, I suppose, when he +has one," laughing. "Vin and I discuss our gettings along and our hopes +and some funny scrapes that boys get into. But girls look at the +romantic side. And you can't think--but _I'm_ proud of this romance. +Why, it will be something to tell over to our children, and father's +been a trump, but I think it's a good deal owing to you. Oh, I hope +_she_ is like you." + +The mother smiled as she kissed him. + +Zay came to say good-night. Her face had grave lines that were not wont +to be there. + +"Oh, my darling," the mother said, "this is one of the things that +cannot make any difference in our love for you. And if you could only +understand the burthen it had lifted off my soul. A hundred times I have +said: 'Oh, why did I take baby Marguerite on that journey?' She was so +strong and well and I was so proud of her, I wanted your father to see +her." + +"And you will be proud of her again. She is going to be a fine scholar, +and I'm just pretty to look at, that's all! I can't make myself love +anyone all in a moment," and she gave a little sob. + +"My child, the love will come if you do not steel your heart against it. +Think, Zay, a twin sister----" + +"But she is larger, different and a sort of story heroine. Everyone will +be interested in her and I shall be pushed quite to the wall." + +"Oh, Zay, you are a foolish little girl. But you have had all the +admiration and love, and we must wait patiently until you understand +that love can never be impoverished by giving. Think of this, pray for a +generous heart, and let her love you." + +Aunt Kate was waiting in her room. And Zay's overcharged heart gave way +to a passion of weeping on the friendly bosom. + +"Dear, I know how hard it is to be crowded out. Of course everyone will +flock around her for a while and never having had much admiration she +will be the more eager for it. And as will be perfectly natural when the +first interest is worn off, the real grain will be apparent and I dare +say she will show her common breeding. Why, this Mrs. Boyd had next to +no education. I shouldn't want anyone to see that so-called confession, +but I dare say your father will keep it close enough, for he would be +ashamed to have any one see it. I'm sorry the story had to get abroad, +but your father thought there would be so many surmises, and perhaps, +exaggerations. It's a horrid thing to live through, but your mother is +so much happier. Why, she seemed ten years younger. And you will always +have a staunch friend in me. No one can oust you from my heart if she +had all the gifts of the nine graces. Oh, you will come back to your +rightful place, never fear." + +But Zay wept herself to sleep with an ache in her heart that crowded out +all tender feelings. + +After a long while Lilian Boyd fell asleep and there came no +disturbance. Just at daylight Miss Arran leaned over the bed and touched +the cold face, felt for the heart. There was not the faintest motion. +There had not been a sound or a sigh, she had just lapsed into her +dreamless sleep. She summoned Mrs. Dane. + +"It is much better so. There will be nothing painful to remember," said +that lady. + +"Mother, mother!" and Lilian roused suddenly. + +"My dear," said Miss Arran, "she has gone to her rest in the most +peaceful manner. The doctor said it might be so, and you have done your +full duty. My dear, you can go to your own mother's arms with the +clearest conscience. I am glad, we are all glad that you elected to +stay, though your father, in his first indignation, would have swept you +away. I hardly see how you won your way. Come to Mrs. Dane's room and +have a cup of coffee." + +She gave one long look at the still face. Oh, how thin and worn it was, +yet there was a certain peacefulness that comforted the girl. Mrs. +Harrington came in and kissed her tenderly. "It is all as we would have +it," she said. "And whatever mistake Mrs. Boyd might have made must be +balanced by the thought that if there had been no one, as she believed, +she would have taken you to her heart just as gladly, done for you with +the same cheerfulness. This is what she did; you must always keep it in +mind. And now--can you help make some arrangements? Whatever money is +needed----" + +"Oh, Mrs. Barrington, I think there will be enough. She still had some +of her insurance money that she had used only in emergencies. And we +have needed so little here. Oh, you have all been so kind," in her +grateful, broken voice. + +Then Dr. Kendricks was announced. + +"I supposed it would be that way," he said. + +"Shall I make arrangements for the funeral. There is no one, I +suppose----" + +"It is too far away from her old friends for any of them to come, and I +am sure Lilian would like it as simple and quiet as possible. I should +say tomorrow morning. No one will go out of curiosity." + +"Then I will see about it at once. The Major is all impatience to have +his daughter." + +"You must come and share my room," Mrs. Barrington said to Lilian. + +"Oh, she really doesn't seem any different to me," the girl returned. +"She has slept so much the last few days, and it is what we have +expected. God has taken her in His keeping and she will have those +belonging to her. It is a blessed thought." + +She sat reading by the window when the Crawford phaeton drove up. Her +first feeling was that she could not meet her father. But a young man +sprang out and the coachman took charge of the horses. + +"It is your brother," announced Mrs. Barrington. "Oh, do try and see +him. Your mother wishes it so much." + +Lilian went down and was clasped to her mother's heart and held there +many seconds. + +"This is your brother Willard, who is soon to leave for Washington and +he begged so much to see a little of you. His will be a three years' +cruise, and I am doubly glad to have found another child in view of his +long absence." + +Lilian glanced up. It was such a frank, kindly face, too young yet for +any of his father's sternness. + +"Oh, my dear, I wonder if you will ever understand how precious you are +going to be to us all. It is like one raised from the dead. I shall go +away with a lighter heart, seeing that mother and father have you. We +boys have been so much to the house with our stirring interests; now it +will be you and Zaidee. I shall think of you so often. Why, I can +readily believe any fairy story, and it almost breaks father's heart +that you have been so near all these months and none of us known it. You +will not feel hurt if he sometimes should show a little--" he paused +with a flush. "For after all it might have been her child who was +saved----" and she felt the shiver go over him. + +"And to know that you were loved all these years," said the mother +holding out her arms, and both children went to them. "And that you +never really suffered for anything. Sometimes I hardly dare believe in +and accept this great blessing." + +"Oh, I hope I will prove a blessing," Lilian said, with a great tremble +in her voice. "You are so good to take me in, to love and trust me, +knowing so little about me." + +For of late she had been learning how much children could be to parents. + +"But I think Mrs. Barrington had opportunities of knowing," returned her +mother with a warm pressure, and fond smile. + +Willard had been studying her. "There's something about her like you, +mother, and something that recalls Vincent. Oh, won't he be surprised! +He will want to fly home again. Oh, you will not mind if Zaidee carries +off the family beauty. She is such a dear! And we ought to have one +star of the goodly Crawford family." + +"I am glad, and I thought her lovely at the first glance. Why, the girls +are quite wild about her. I shall not mind anything so long as you all +love me. Oh, I will try to deserve it." + +There were tears in her eyes and her mother kissed her tenderly. Then +they talked about her coming home which could not be until her whole +duty was performed and there was no omission to think of. + +Yet they went lingeringly, loth to leave her. + +"She has a great deal of character;" said Willard. "She seems more +mature than Zay. I am glad they are not alike, though it seems rather +out of the order for twins. Oh, mother, I can foresee that she will be a +great deal to _you_ in a womanly way. We can never thank God enough for +her." + +"And all these years, amid the suffering, I have always thought if I had +left my darling at home. I was so proud of her I wanted your father to +see her. Zaidee was not such a fine looking baby. We had both so +ardently desired a daughter; indeed we had often said two boys and two +girls was an ideal family." + +"And I wouldn't give up Vin--boys have a delightful interest in each +others' lives and doings. I suppose sisters feel the same way. That +is--well, it will be a little strange at first. Zay has been our queen +so long, and it can't be quite like living together from infancy." + +"No. So we must make allowance for both of them until they reach the +true level of birthright. Marguerite is very proud and has unusually +well defined ideas of duty, while we have never put anything but love +before Zay. I expect we have spoiled her." + +Mount Morris was startled in the midst of its Christmas festivities by +the remarkable announcement that Marguerite, the twin baby of Major and +Mrs. Crawford, had been miraculously saved from the wreck, where the +nurse and several others had perished. Another passenger whose baby had +been killed, thinking the nurse was the true mother of the child, had +taken it to her heart out of pity for the helpless little creature, and +gone farther westward before real inquiries could be made as to whether +there were any relatives living. + +Mrs. Crawford had insisted upon softening what her husband had +considered a crime on the part of Mrs. Boyd. + +"Think how she must have loved the little creature she thought +friendless, to burden herself with it. And I am so thankful _my_ baby +found loving care. Why, she might have perished with neglect through +that dreadful time. We can do nothing for her and we will not, must not, +traduce her motives, when they were prompted by an overwhelming love." + +So it was represented that Mrs. Boyd had taken the position at Mrs. +Barrington's that her adopted child might be better educated as her own +health was failing, which after all was the truth, though Lilian's +pleading had been a special factor. + +The poor woman's burial had been quiet, in the early morning. Mrs. +Barrington and Miss Arran had gone with Lilian whose great regret had +been that there was not sufficient money to send her to Laconia to sleep +beside her husband and her little son, but she gave thanks that there +was no need of benevolence though Mrs. Barrington had insisted she +should supply any need. + +She had begged that she might be left at the school over Sunday, and +Mrs. Crawford found herself so shaken by all the excitement that she +assented the more readily. Zaidee was quite well again and laughed at +herself for having been so easily alarmed. There had been no cases of +illness in the town and the clairvoyant had taken her family to a city +at some distance. + +"It really would be the part of wisdom to go to the city if you felt +well enough," Aunt Kate said to her sister-in-law. "Of course there will +be a good deal of talk, and it is but natural that our friends should +desire to see the new daughter of the house. It is a most excellent +thing that Dr. Kendricks has been mixed up with it all and can vouch for +the truth. And the child might get some training to fit her for her new +position." + +"Mrs. Barrington has had her in training for some time, and from the +very first was attracted by her natural grace and dignity; and her +strength of character," was the reply, "and her father found +resemblances to me in the first interview!" + +"But the years before would naturally leave some impress. Mrs. Boyd, it +seems, had not much education, and they must have lived in the commoner +streets with all kinds of people. I feel something as brother does, that +I can hardly forgive her for robbing the child of her natural +birthright and subjecting her to plebian surroundings." + +Mrs. Crawford winced and flushed a little. Her last remembrance of the +smiling, cooing baby, bright eyed and full of health and sweetness, +never faded from her mind, and she fancied now she should have the same +instinctive impressions that had puzzled Mrs. Barrington. Aunt Kate +might be rather captious at first, but she could pardon it and +understand it as well, for she had been a most devoted mother to Zaidee. + +Then, too, school would begin so soon and all these little breaks would +bring about the finer claims of relationship. + +No one went to church on Sunday. Mrs. Crawford was not quite up to the +mark, and Aunt Kate declared she could not face the curious eyes or +answer a question. The Major longed to go over to Mrs. Barrington's but +some feeling of delicacy restrained him. + +Lilian had come home from the lonely burial like one in a strange dream. +The brief illness, the excitement of the confession, the quiet passing +out of existence had transpired so rapidly that she could hardly make it +real. She almost expected to find Mrs. Boyd lying there on the bed when +she entered the room. She felt that Mrs. Boyd had never taken root at +Mount Morris; she smiled sadly thinking of Mrs. Dane's suspicions that +there was some secret between them, that she, Lilian, was afraid would +come to light. But she had never in her wildest moments dreamed of the +truth. Mrs. Boyd had all the limitation of a commonplace nature, sweet, +devoted, with no lofty aspirations. The refinements of Barrington House +wore upon her. She did try, for Lilian's sake, to adapt herself to some +of them but the effort was plainly visible to practiced eyes. If she had +lived--but then the confession would hardly have been made. For, with +all the unlikeness, Lilian had never suspected the truth. + +Oh, why had not God given this poor starved life its rightful +surroundings? If Mrs. Boyd had lived! If there had been a number of +merry, satisfied children going cheerfully to work in shops and +factories when school days were over, having lovers, marrying and +repeating their mother's life! For the world was full of ordinary happy +people with no high ideals. Was there something in heredity? + +No, she could not have been content with that destiny. She must have +worked and striven for a higher round, for some intellectual +advancement. Yet, how many of these girls at school really cared for it +with all their advantages? It was not mere money that inspired one, and +she almost wished she were not going in that upper atmosphere. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +GOING OUT OF THE OLD LIFE + + +Lilian had seen very little of her friend, Miss Trenham, through the +week, though every day she had been the recipient of a note of sympathy +and affection. She came in on Saturday afternoon. + +"My dear girl," she began, "so many unusual events have happened to you +that one must needs use both congratulations and condolences. I saw the +newspaper account and it seems like the finger of Providence that you +should have been directed hither and to the arms of your real parents. +Mrs. Boyd looked very poorly the last time I saw her, a month or so ago. +I suppose there is a great deal back of the account----" + +"I have wanted to see you so," returned Lilian. "I thought I would come +to the Chapel tomorrow morning. You are the only friend I have made +outside of the school, but Mrs. Barrington has been so sweet and +generous. She had planned to keep me here after mother was gone and +educate me." + +The tears stood in Lilian's eyes and her voice broke with emotion. + +"There is so much to talk over, and we have gone to our own home now. +Mother and I have been very busy the last four days cleaning and putting +things in order. We spent our Christmas at Mrs. Lane's and had a really +delightful time. We had planned some time ago to have you share it with +us, and now can you not spare us Sunday, if you are not going----" + +"The change is to be made on Monday. Oh, Miss Trenham--I can hardly +describe my feelings. I dread it and yet my own mother is an ideal +mother. I hardly dare think of the happiness in store for me, but I +shall go on here at school. I am glad of that. I could not give up my +dear Mrs. Barrington." + +"We want to hear all the story--your side," smiling gravely. "So if you +can come and dine with us on Sunday. Oh, there are so many +explanations." + +"I will see. Excuse me a few moments." Lilian came back with a heartsome +expression. + +"Yes, I can come. I wanted to go to the Chapel in the morning. I suppose +some of my life, at least, will be changed----" + +"Yes, but it will be--yes, lovely and advantageous. I never thought +Mrs. Boyd quite the right mother for you, if you will allow me to say +it." + +Lilian flushed. "But she loved me with her whole soul. She would have +made any sacrifice to advance me. All these years she has cared for me, +worked for me and I should be an ingrate to forget it. If she had lived +and this had not come, I was planning to work for her----" + +"I think you would, without a demur. You would have had an excellent +friend in Mrs. Barrington, but it will be a much wider life, I am very +glad for you. There are people for whom prosperity does very little. You +will not be one of that kind. In spite of her misfortune your mother has +always had a wide and lovely influence, and the home is said to be very +attractive. I think all of Mount Morris rejoiced truly in her +restoration to health, and you will have some of the best of her life. +You will soon learn the sweet lesson of loving her." + +"My heart went out to her the Sunday I saw her in church. She looked to +me like a saint, and I did not know then, but I have felt bewildered +since. And I have been so used to planning to do something for--for the +one who has gone, that I feel kind of helpless, knowing I can do nothing +for her." + +"Oh, yes, you can give her a daughter's choicest love. I am quite sure +you two will grow into finest accord, and two manly brothers and that +lovely Zaidee! Oh, it will be a most absorbing life. You will be in the +sphere just fitted for you. Perhaps God let it all happen that your +character should be the more fully shaped by the experience. We will +talk it over more, at length, tomorrow." + +Miss Trenham rose and kissed the young girl tenderly, knowing that tears +were very near the surface. After she had gone Lilian gave way to them. +She had not the easily adaptive nature to go in her new home and take +the best at once, though it had been held out with such winning +tenderness. The beautiful face of Zaidee instead of adding a radiance +seemed to shadow the path. She could not explain it to herself; she +would not think her sister would grudge her anything, but she felt in +her inmost heart it would not be given generously. She must win it by +large patience. + +Sunday was a perfect winter day with a gorgeous sunshine and a crisp air +that seemed to bring refreshment in every waft. The leafless trees were +penciled against the blue sky like the lines of a fine engraving. The +church bells rang out their reverent inspiration, they were harmoniously +toned and there was no jangling. Lilian wondered a little--were her +parents and the two children at home kneeling in the old church where +the Crawfords had worshiped for a hundred years or more? Did they offer +a little prayer for her? + +The father and mother said it at home. He was all impatience for the day +to pass. + +Oh, how delightful Mrs. Trenham's warm welcome was, and little Claire +clasped both slim arms about Lilian's neck and kissed the cool rosy +cheek over and over again. If her sister was little and fond like that! + +"It's been such a long, long while since you were here. Of course you +couldn't come while we were away. It was very nice at Mrs. Lane's; there +were so many people to make merry. You can't be truly merry alone by +yourself, can you? It's like bells ringing. You can be happy thinking of +many things, but not merry." + +Lilian smiled. Yes, the conceit was true. + +Then she must inspect Claire's Christmas gifts. Her own had been a +pretty booklet that one of the girls had given her in a perfunctory +fashion that carried no real regard with it. She had been too full of +anxiety to look up anything. + +"And that lady that came here once who wasn't your real mother went +away, didn't she? And Edith said you had a real mother now and you were +going to live with her and not stay at school all the time. I wish I +could go to school. Edith said sometime she might have a school in our +own house, and I might come and say lessons with other little girls. +That will be so nice. I think that will be merry." + +Then they were summoned to dinner, and the elders took the lead in the +conversation, expressing their surprise at the strange event they had +seen in the paper, and as they lingered over the dessert Lilian told her +own story that she had believed in devoutly until Mrs. Boyd had +explained her adoption, hoping thereby Lilian might trace her +parentage--though Mrs. Boyd supposed only her father could be found. +Mrs. Barrington had supplied the other side. + +"I suppose there is a certain kind of gratification in belonging to an +old and respected family. Major Crawford's family could go back even of +their first settling in America, and the madam was a proud old +Virginian with a fortune, but she wanted only one son, and she had three +and one daughter. All her love and pride was in her first born who was +indulged in every thing and led a gay life. The youngest died, Everard +went to West Point and entered the regular army. Reginald took the best +of life and became a capricious invalid, as penurious as he had been +wasteful before, and died about the time of the accident. The madam had +been dead some years. So all of Crawford House and its belongings came +to the Major, who had married one of the loveliest of girls. You have +heard that part of the story from Mrs. Barrington, doubtless. She was +one of the earlier scholars." + +"Yes," replied Lilian. "She admires her, beside loving her for the +bravery with which, she bore the dreadful accident." + +"I think when the word came, if prayers could have availed for the +safety of the child, the whole town would have prayed, and to think that +God should have saved you and restored you in this strange manner." + +Edith glanced across the table. Lilian's eyes were suffused with tears. + +"Miss Crawford had looked after the house, as the mother spent much of +the time in the city with Reginald. She was very fond of gayeties, and +her sudden death was a great surprise for she seemed vigorous enough to +round out the century. Miss Kate took charge of little Zay while her +mother was on the journey and through those years spent in hospitals and +sanitoriums. She has been most devoted, refusing several good offers of +marriage, but I suppose Mrs. Barrington has told you most of the family +history." + +"She is very fond of my mother and her girl life, her early married life +as well, and she fancied at the very first that I resembled some one she +had known." + +"There is something in the poise of the head and the shape of your chest +and shoulders, that is like her, and it won't hurt you if I say she was +an extremely handsome girl. Even Reginald admitted that." + +"And I am not handsome," Lilian said bravely, though with a little pang. +It had never mattered to her before. Then she turned scarlet and added +with an embarrassed laugh: "That sounds like what the girls call fishing +for compliments. Zaidee will be the family beauty." + +"And you have a voice, that with the proper training, may be very fine, +indeed. I noticed it this morning in the hymn." + +"Oh, do you think so? I love to sing," and her face was a-light with +pleasure. "But it seems to me that it isn't, well--neither alto nor +soprano; I can't keep it to a true sound." + +"It is a contralto and has some most expressive notes in it. Of course, +you will be trained in music." + +"Mrs. Barrington spoke of it in the next term. Some of the girls sing +beautifully. I was to take up several new studies. Oh, there are so many +splendid things to learn." + +Her face was aglow with enthusiasm and gave promise of something finer +than mere beauty. There had been a good deal of repression in her life +since she had come to understand, in a measure, her own desires. She had +held them back because she did not want to make Mrs. Boyd unhappy with +the difference between them, when she saw that the elder woman was +making any effort to indulge her fancies, and during these months at +school had settled to a grave deportment, that she might better sustain +her authority. The lack of spontaneity had puzzled Mrs. Barrington, when +in some moments she caught the ardor and glow of an inward possibility. + +"I think you will be in the right place now," remarked Edith with a +smile. "One with a strong individuality at times surmounts adverse +circumstances, but when there are so many events to hamper, one does +lose courage and begins to question whether the effort and sacrifice +will pay for the late reward." + +"Oh, let me have Miss Lilian awhile," besought Claire. "I want her to +inspect my playhouse, while you and mother put away the dishes and +things." + +The playhouse was an old time cabinet with the doors taken off. One +shelf, the highest, was full of curiosities, the next of books, the +third left out and the dolls had it to themselves. There was a parlor in +one end, a sleeping room in the other and three pretty dolls were in +their chairs, ranged round a table, inspecting their Christmas gifts. + +"I wouldn't have any new dolls this time," she began, with a touch of +weariness in her voice. "For after all you can't make them real. I play +school with them. I read them stories. I dress them and take them out +riding, but I have to do the talking for them and sometimes it gets so +dull. There's too much make-believe. I shall be glad when summer comes +and there won't be any bad boys next door. What do you suppose God did +with them? They couldn't like heaven, you know, for there they have to +be good all the time. And there are so many beautiful things in summer. +The birds and the flowers and the trees waving about and the sky so full +of mysterious things. Great islands go sailing about and I wish I was on +one of them. I get so tired, sometimes. I don't suppose I'll ever have +any strong back and legs until I do get to heaven. But I'd like to go +about in this world. I want a fairy godmother; that is it." + +She gave a little laugh but there were tears in her eyes. + +"And you've found a fairy godmother, haven't you? She is real, too, and +lives in a beautiful big house and has a fairy child with golden curls. +Oh, I wonder if she would have been glad to have you if you had been all +bruised and broken and could never walk----" + +"Oh, don't," cried Lilian. Would they have been glad to have her? + +"Now, tell me about when you were a little girl and went to the stores +to buy things for your mother and played 'Ring around a rosy,' and 'Open +the gate as high as the sky.'" + +The child's voice and manner had changed like a flash. She liked +Lilian's make-believe stories in some moods; then she wanted real +children and their doings, children who wiped dishes and swept floors +while their mothers sewed or cared for a little baby in the cradle. And +the petty disputes, the spending of a penny in candy and dividing it +round. + +"They couldn't all have pennies I suppose," the child commented. + +"Their mothers were too poor," laughed Lilian, thinking how seldom she +had the pleasure of being a spendthrift. And if she were ever so rich +what could she do for Claire? + +So they talked on and on until Edith came and said a young gentleman had +called for Lilian--her brother. + +She went through to the parlor. Yes, it was Willard, bright and smiling +as if glad to see her. + +"But how did you know I was here?" she asked. + +"Oh, I was at Mrs. Barrington's, and we had a long talk about you. Then +she directed me. It is getting towards night and our beautiful day shows +symptoms of coming rain." + +Yes, it did. She had been so interested in Claire she had not noted the +change. + +"So I think you had better allow me to escort you home, at least--oh, I +wish it were to your real home. Think, what an evening we would have +together, and I've only three days more. I have to start Wednesday +evening and report on Thursday. Well, will you give me the pleasure?" + +He rose then, and bending over, kissed her. + +"I'd like you to meet my friends----" + +"Well--for a moment." + +Mrs. Trenham and Edith came in. + +"Just say a quiet good-bye to Claire," Edith whispered. "She is +curiously upset about something." + +The slim arms clung to Lilian. + +"Oh, will they let you come again? Edith said it would all be different +and your new mother would want you, and--and--" the child ended with a +sob. + +"Of course I shall come again, and again, little sweetheart," kissing +her. + +"Oh, what a pretty name! I love you." + +"And you will soon see me again." + +Willard stood with his hat in his hand in a waiting attitude, tall and +manly, the fine face marked by a certain pride of birth, of culture, and +the inherited grace of generations. The deep, outlooking eyes spoke of +strength of character with a vein of tenderness, and the smiling mouth +of affability. Yet it struck her that he did not seem to belong to the +plain little parlor and it almost appeared as if he dwarfed the two +women, a feeling she could not help resenting inwardly. + +They made their adieus in a friendly manner. Yes, the bright day had +settled to the threatening of storm. The air was heavy and murky and cut +with the promise of coming sleet. Willard drew the girl's hand through +his arm and they caught step. + +"I am glad you are going to be tall," he said. "You have all the +indications, the figure and the air. It runs in mother's line as well as +that of the Crawfords." + +"I am taller than--than your sister," rather hesitatingly. + +"Than _your_ sister, as well. Oh, Marguerite, I hope you two will come +to love each other dearly. Then there will be Vincent. We two boys have +been such chums." + +"It is strange to have a new name," she said slowly, yet it was more to +her fancy. + +"Do you like the old one better?" as if in a little doubt. + +"I didn't like it very much, and I remember when I rebelled against +Lily. It seemed such a sing-song king of a name. It's sweet and pretty, +too, Lilian Boyd gave it more character." + +"You were named for Mother, but father did not want them quite alike. +Her name was Margaret, and father used to say to her-- + + 'Oh, fair Margaret, + Oh, rare Margaret, + Where got you the name of strength and beauty?'" + +Would she be dearer to her father on account of her name? + +"And Zaidee?" she said, in a suggestive tone. + +"Oh, I believe it was from a story that had been a great favorite with +my mother, and it does just suit Zay. She is so light and airy and +butterfly-like. Why, she seems about two years younger than you. I'm +glad there isn't any puzzle about telling you apart. She's sweet and gay +and loving and I suppose we've all spoiled her. Aunt Kate thinks she's +the loveliest thing in the world, and she has just devoted her life to +the child. Aunt Kate is as good as gold, a stickler for some things and +she's always been splendid to mother. But she's great on family. She +can't cry _you_ down, because you belong to us." + +"But I've been on the other side all my life, and--" yes, she would say +this--"Mrs. Boyd's health was so broken that if it had not been for Mrs. +Barrington's kind offer I must have given up school and gone into a +factory; and began to repay her for her kindly care of me." + +She felt the curious sort of shrinking that passed over him. + +"But you didn't," he said, decisively. "And if she had let you +alone----" + +"But she was sure my mother was dead. Oh, nothing can ever make me +forget her tender, devoted love. I cannot bear to have her blamed." + +"But you must not dispute the matter with father. Let it all go since it +has turned out so fortunately. I love you for your courage in standing +by her, but there are many things you will learn--beliefs and usages of +society. I don't mean simply money. We Crawfords have no vulgarity with +a gold veneer; and, my dear girl, you may tell all your life with Mrs. +Boyd over to mother, indeed, I think she will want to know it all; +but--be careful about Aunt Kate--" + +"And I _was_ the caretaker's daughter at Mrs. Barrington's. Oh, I have +seen some snobbishness among what you call well-born girls. I am not a +whit better or finer than I was a month ago, when I expected to work my +way up to a good salary and strive earnestly for everything I had; and +Mrs. Barrington would have helped me and been really proud of my +success." + +"What a spirit you have!" + +"I shall never be a snob," she flung out, proudly. + +"I do not intend to be one myself. Oh, don't let us dispute these +points. We all learn a good deal as we go along life. And, my dear, love +us all as truly as you loved your foster mother. Oh, I wonder if you can +ever understand your own mother's joy at having you back--" + +"Which she owes largely to Mrs. Boyd. Suppose she had died without +this--this explanation?" + +"Even she understood that you did not belong in her walk of life. She +saw the difference and that made her feel she might have deprived you of +something better, that she could not give you." + +That was true enough. But just now she was Lilian Boyd and angry, though +she could not satisfy herself that she had a perfect right to this +unreasonableness. So she made no reply. + +"Oh, Marguerite, don't be vexed with me. We shall not see each other for +a long while, and I want to carry away with me the knowledge that you +are very happy in your new home. You will have so many pleasures, +interests; you will be loved; oh, you must be loving, as well. Let the +past go as a strange dream." + +"It can never be a dream to me," she returned, decisively. "A thing you +have lived through is stamped on your brain. I would not, if I could, +dismiss it." + +"Then I think that other love and care will make as deep an impression +on your mind. Good-night, my dear sister, and best wishes for a happy +tomorrow." + +He kissed her fondly and turned away. She looked after him with a +swelling heart. + +When the door was opened, she flew up to her room and girl fashion, went +straight to the mirror. Generally she had very little color, now her +cheeks bloomed like roses and her eyes were brilliant, something more, a +light she had never seen in them; and, yes, her scarlet lips were shut, +with dimples in the corners. Then she laughed, half in anger, half in a +mood she had never known before, it was compounded of so many varieties. + +At Laconia, she had known several pretty school girls but they had +golden hair and lovely blue eyes. It was odd, but she had always liked +the word cerulean so much. And her eyes were almost black when anything +moved her deeply. She had not thought much of beauty applied to herself. + +"I am glad we don't look alike," she mused. "I am willing to be plainer, +and if I had some great gift--perhaps my voice might be cultivated. But +I mean never to be ashamed of that past life. Oh, what would Willard say +if he knew I had carried bundles back and forth and done errands for the +dressmaker! Well I must keep that part locked in my own heart. Poor +mamma Boyd, I'm glad you never understood the difference. I wish I had +loved you better." + +She bathed her face and took off her cloth dress, putting on one of some +light material Mrs. Barrington had given her awhile before. Then she +went down stairs just as the summons for dinner sounded. Mrs. Barrington +met her in the hall with a smile. + +"Did you have a nice day? And did your brother find you?" + +"Yes, I enjoyed it very much. And--we walked back together. He leaves on +Wednesday night." + +"And is very sorry to go. He is so interested in you. I wish he could +remain longer, but he has the true sailor heart." + +Lilian felt suddenly ashamed of her anger. Of course the whole family +must look at it from that point of view, which was not hers. And having +a brother was such a new thing to her. She had not been thrown much with +boys. Her books had been her dearest companions. + +They all went to the drawing room afterward and had a pleasant talk +about the day and its duties. It softened Lilian's heart strangely. +After that some almost divine music, it seemed to her, and her thoughts +were lifted above distracting reflections. + +The girls sang also. Several of them had very good voices but the best +singers were away. Lilian was not afraid tonight, but let her voice +swell out as she had in church this morning, and it surprised even +herself. + +When they said good-night to each other Mr. Barrington led her to her +own pretty sitting room. + +"I have hardly seen you today," she began, "and though your change will +not separate us altogether and is so immeasurably to your advantage, I +want you to know that I had some plans for your future revolving in my +mind. I meant to have matters on a different basis when we began the new +term. I did not think Mrs. Boyd would live through the winter, and as +you know, I promised to care for you. You will make a fine linguist, and +that is quite a gift for a woman. Then I have been interested in your +voice. You sang with much power and beauty tonight. It is not the +ordinary girlish voice." + +"Miss Trenham said it was a contralto. I don't know the difference +between that and an alto. Of course, I sang in school at Laconia, and +took quite a part in the closing exercises. But no one seemed to +think--and I couldn't manage it always--" pausing lest she might say too +much. + +"It wants cultivation, and I believe has some fine probabilities. I have +spoken to Mr. Reinhart about giving you private lessons in the new +term." + +"Oh, how good you are! I could almost wish----" and she clasped the hand +nearest her. + +"No, don't wish anything beyond what has happened. In spite of all the +love and tenderness lavished upon Mrs. Crawford, it was a continual +regret that she should have taken you on that ill-fated journey. +Charming as Zaidee is, she was always wondering what you would have +been like. I think you will not disappoint her. You have been in a +trying position for a girl of your ambition and temperament. I think you +might have accepted some proffers without much hurt to your pride, but +you know now you are on an equality with the best, and though many of +these distinctions are much to be regretted, we cannot change the world. +The change must be in ourselves, the grace and kindliness that shapes +the character to finer and higher issues. But if you had been Mrs. +Boyd's daughter, I think there would have been a very promising future +before you. I know you would have tried your utmost to succeed in the +two lines I have indicated; and now they will be accomplishments. Mrs. +Crawford was a fine linguist and has brightened many an hour with +intellectual pursuits. I am more than glad that you will be so +companionable, but I cannot give up my interest in you, and I want you +to feel that you will be, in part, a daughter to me." + +Lilian bent her head down on Mrs. Barrington's shoulder and cried +softly, touched to the inmost heart by the affection she had hardly +dreamed she had won. + +"There are no quite perfect lives even if there is a great deal of +love," the lady continued. "We learn to limit our wants and expectations +by what others have to give us, and it is by loving that we learn to +live truly, though many shrines get despoiled of ideals as we go along +in youth; but as we retrace our steps with years and experience we find +God has put something better in them. I want you to come to me with any +difficulty that can be confided outside of the family circle. But your +mother must be your best friend; and now, dear, good-night." + +Lilian returned the kiss, but her heart was too full for words. Tomorrow +she would belong somewhere else, have new duties. Oh, could she take +them up in the right spirit? + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +YOUR TRUE HOME + +Marguerite Crawford felt that she had been truly changed to some other +personality when the carriage stopped under the broad _porte cochere_, +and the driver opened the door with a bow for his master. There had been +a slight fall of snow in the night that had wrapped every post and every +tree in a mantle of jewels, and now the sun came out gorgeously, sending +golden rays over the dappled sky of blue and white. + +Her father handed her out. Willard ran down the wide steps taking both +her hands in his and kissing her fondly. A passion of regret flooded +her. + +"Oh," in a broken tone. "I was rude and ungenerous to you yesterday. I +am sorry--" + +"We will let that go, I knew you would regret it. I tried to look at it +from your point of view, and I think you couldn't resemble mother so +much in looks and not in character." + +Her father took her other arm. "Welcome home, my dear daughter," he +exclaimed. "All our years together will prove how glad we are to have +you." + +The hall was like a beautiful larger room, with pictures and statuary +and some elegant vases that would have dwarfed a smaller space. + +"This is my sister, Miss Crawford--Aunt Kate, to you always; who has +been like a mother to my children--" + +Aunt Kate bent over from her tallness and gave her a perfunctory kiss. +Zay clasped both arms around her. + +"Oh, isn't it queer," with a musical ripple. "You certainly were a +princess in disguise at school, and some of the girls said you were my +double to tease me; but I don't think we look very much alike; do you, +papa?" + +She raised her radiant face with the pearly complexion, bewitching mouth +and shining eyes. Marguerite looked rather pale and cold with the +strangeness. + +Then they went up to the mother's room, but Aunt Kate paused at the door +and turned in another direction. Zay and Willard followed her. +Marguerite went to her mother's arms and for many seconds neither spoke. + +"What a strange, long waiting without any hope," said the father at +length. "I have often thought what Marguerite would be like if she had +lived, and it always was impressed upon me that she would be like her +mother. If I could have wished it--" + +The child raised her head. The dark lashes were beaded with tears. + +"I am sorry not to be as beautiful," she said, with great humility. "I +must make up any deficiency by my love and devotion. Oh, it seems as if +I had gone into some divine country when love filled the very +atmosphere." + +She held out her hand to her father who crushed it in a tender clasp. + +"But you are looking pale and weary, mother." What a sweet word it was +to say when it was true. + +"I have had a great deal of excitement these last few days, then the +nurse had to go away to a more serious case, but I have tried to obey +her injunctions," smiling a little. "Probably I shall never be very +robust again, but nothing like this will try nerves. I think I have +stood it exceedingly well," glancing up at her husband. "I was very +quiet all day yesterday, but I could not help dreaming of the years to +come----" + +"I hope God will give me strength to make them happy. Oh, I want to give +you the best of love and service and never pain you by any lack. For you +_are_ the mother I have longed for, who could capture and fill my +desires. I would like to work for you----" + +"My dear, if you could be so devoted to the mother who was not your +ideal and could not understand your thoughts and feelings, I shall try +to come nearer and fill your whole heart, sympathize with your +aspirations. I shall be glad to listen to them. Oh, my child, if you had +been dull and coarse, but you simply could not have been, and this Mrs. +Boyd must have had a certain refinement. I appreciate her more every day +as I think it over." + +"Oh, I thank you for that. It seems to me that I must have been willful +at times; but I wanted to take her out of that narrow round as well as +myself. I felt so certain I could do it after we came to Mrs. +Barrington's. She understood my aims." + +"You fell into good hands. Oh, how many times we shall talk this over, +for I want to know all the incidents of these years we have been apart. +When I have lived them with you, I shall feel more truly still that I am +your mother. And now are you not a little curious about your new home?" + +Mrs. Crawford rose with her arm about the girl, and Marguerite glanced +about the room. It was exquisitely appointed. The second story rooms +were ranged about an oval that gave a picturesque aspect. This and the +sleeping rooms were toward the east; Mrs. Crawford had a passion for +sunrise. On one side was Zay's room, adjoining it Aunt Kate's. Opposite, +two guest rooms with bath and closets. It all seemed like some lovely +description she had read of in books. Her girl's heart and the refined +tastes that had been her birthright seemed to leap for joy. Was she +really to live amid all this loveliness! + +"We talked of your room on Friday. We couldn't take Zay away from Aunt +Kate to put you two together. Willard had this room next to my sitting +room, when he came home on vacations; sometimes, both boys; they are +very fond of each other. So he proposed his should be yours and had +everything taken out and the walls tinted afresh. But we couldn't order +new furniture at once, so we brought this from one of the guest +chambers. Some day you may choose for yourself. He took out the real +boys' pictures except 'Night and Morning' which are great favorites of +his and his two bookcases. In one he has left all his poets; at heart, +he is a rather romantic fellow. And the other you must fill up to your +liking." + +"Oh, how could he be so kind to me, when--" and Marguerite swallowed +over a great sob. + +"He is so glad for me. And he thinks it is truly a gift of Providence +that you should come, now that he is going away. Three years! Yet I have +waited so many years for these great blessings; prayed for them, if +one's ardent wish is a prayer." + +"Did you ever pray for me?" asked Marguerite in a low awed tone. + +"I prayed that if I died I should find you in that beautiful other +country. And sometimes I almost believed I should find you here. +Invalids have curious fancies almost like visions. Perhaps God gave me +the hope to enable me to endure the suffering and to be comparatively +well again and to have you--" + +There was the summons to luncheon. The Major came for his wife, Willard +met his sister in the hall. The dining room was perfectly appointed, +with stands of flowers and ferns that made almost a garden of it. A few +blossoms were laid beside each one's plate. The butler seated them +noiselessly. Aunt Kate was at the head of the table; she had kept the +place so long that Mrs. Crawford would not hear of any change. She sat +at the right of her husband, Marguerite at the left; Jay and Willard +were opposite. + +Marguerite _was_ nervous, but she did just as the others. She felt that +Aunt Kate's sharp eyes were upon her. Nearly always, she and her mother +had taken their meals together; on Sunday, specially invited to dine +with Mrs. Barrington and Miss Arran. Mrs. Boyd shrank from these +occasions but the girl seemed guiding her with an almost imperceptible +grace. + +And although the luncheon came in courses it was not ornate. Marguerite +began to feel quite at ease. There was some bright talk, but she did not +join that, only now and then answering when her father appealed to her. +But every moment she felt more at home. + +When they rose Willard took her arm. + +"You must examine your new home," he began, laughingly. "If you +shouldn't like it--" + +"I'd deserve to be banished to Laconia and live in an atmosphere of soot +and dust and all manner of noises," she answered, brightly. + +"This is the drawing room. In my grandmother's time they used to have +famous gatherings. Uncle Reginald was a great society man, and Aunt +Kate quite a belle, but the Madam as she was called, spent her money +lavishly. That was in her own right. Much of this furniture came from +abroad. But I will do her the justice to say that she did not despise +the old Crawford heirlooms that were handsome. Some of them are two +centuries old, when people loved to carve and ornament and never +compared their time with money. Uncle Reginald was very handsome in his +early days and her favorite. Father went to West Point." + +The room was certainly full of choice belongings. At the end, a full +length portrait of Madame Crawford, painted by a famous French artist +during one of her visits to Paris. The satin and velvet of her gown +looked real and her laces were magnificently done. She _was_ handsome +and set them off beautifully. A string of sapphires encircled her throat +and from it depended three pendants of diamonds so skilfully done that +in certain lights they emitted rays. A handsome woman, truly, but proud +and haughty. + +"She only wanted one son so that the Crawford estate need not be +divided. She was not in favor of large families, while father would +have been glad of at least half a dozen. So you may judge how delighted +he is to have you. This is the library. There is a small fortune in the +books. Great-grandfather Crawford was an eager collector. Father has +been offered big prices for some of the rare editions." + +At the farther end of the library there were wide glass doors that +opened into a conservatory, where the choicest flowers were kept, and +curious ferns. Just beyond was the propagating room and where the +tired-out bloomers were put for recuperation. + +Marguerite was speechless with admiration. She glanced up with a lovely +smile and her dark eyes were lustrous. "Oh," she murmured, with a long +sigh, "I never saw anything so lovely! And that I should have come here +to live--" + +"Our next door neighbors have quite as much beauty, only it is rather +more modern. But their conservatory is magnificent. Such a show of +orchids is unusual. But Mount Morris is a rather aristocratic place, +that is not wholly given over to fashion, but where people have lovely +things to enjoy and are not trying to distance each other unless it is +in the matter of choice flowers," and he laughed. "Mother is so fond of +them." + +She thought she could linger there all the remainder of the day, but +presently Willard turned and they retraced their steps. Major Crawford +stood in the hall. + +"Shall we go for our walk, Willard?" he asked. "I think mother would +like Marguerite." + +She made a pretty inclination of the head and went up stairs feeling as +if she was in fairyland. Mrs. Crawford lay on the lounge with a +beautiful Persian wrap thrown over her. + +"Will you come and read to me?" she asked in a winsome tone. "I want to +hear your voice in poetry; Mrs. Barrington said you were a fine reader. +I hope you love verse. The dainty little ones are a great pleasure to +me, fugitive verses, as they are called. They have soothed many a +painful hour." + +"Are you very tired?" Marguerite bent over and kissed her. + +"No, my dear, only this is part of my German doctor's regimen. He sent a +nurse home with me, and last week she went back to assist him with a +peculiar case; and I have certain directions to follow, which I obey, +implicitly. One is to take a rest after luncheon. Then, I like to be +read to. I am something of a spoiled child, you see." + +"I shall be glad to go on with the spoiling," the girl said in a sweet, +earnest tone. "I want to do all I can to make you happy--to make up for +the years when you did not have me." + +Marguerite's eyes were lustrous with deep feeling. Her words went to the +mother's heart. + +"Let me see--find 'In Memoriam.' How many times in the last few days I +have said over to myself: + + "If one should bring me this report + That thou hads't touched the land today, + And I went down unto the quay, + And found thee lying in the port," + +Marguerite took the beautifully bound volume in her hand and it gave her +a thrill. + +"Some poems are adapted to this or that one's voice, like songs. The +Major reads Browning and that is saved especially for him. Willard loves +Stevenson and Eugene Field's children's verses. Zaidee the light gay +caroling things, and those arch, sweet Irish poems. But your voice +sounded to me as if you loved Tennyson and Whittier." + +"I have not had the opportunity of reading Tennyson very much, but I +thought the Christmas verses most beautiful. I hope I shall please you," +hesitatingly. + +Mrs. Crawford listened attentively. There was a depth and richness in +the voice, an impressive, penetrating emotion that betrayed the harmony +with the lines. And when she had finished that poem, she said in a low +tone: + +"Shall I go on?" + +"Yes," replied the mother. + +It was so beautiful that Marguerite forgot herself in the poet's deep +feeling--so human, so comforting--she could have read on until dusk, but +Mrs. Crawford turned presently. + +"I must not tire you for I shall want you to read to me often. Do you +sing? I suppose you have not begun to play?" + +"No, Mrs. Barrington thought I would, in the new term. And she also +thought my voice was--" Marguerite paused, afraid of being too +presuming. + +"Worth cultivating, was not that what she said? It is a contralto that +can express profound depths of feeling. I had it years ago and your +father was wild over it. He will be delighted. Zay's voice is a light +soprano. She plays very well. Yes, you must take up music." + +"Oh, mother, it doesn't seem as if so many lovely things should come to +me!" + +"Why not, when you have been in the desert all these years?" + +They clasped each other in a fond embrace. Oh, was it really true that +she was a daughter of the house, that she had a right to the love and +care? Could she ever give enough to repay? + +There was a stir down stairs and some merry voices. Major Crawford +rejoined his wife presently. + +"The two Chichester girls to see if the children are sure to go to the +Van Ordens, though I think their eagerness is most for Will," laughing. +"His gay time will soon be over. Zay's as well. Next week school will +begin, and Marguerite must come under rules. The chief one is that there +is no frollicking until Friday evening, no holiday until Saturday." + +"Oh, I wish girls did not have to grow up so fast. Think how soon they +will be sixteen," bemoaned the mother. + +"I kept another birthday," said Marguerite. "I am glad to go back even +the few months." + +"You look as if you were beginning to feel at home," said her father. +"Oh, I hope we shall have many, many happy years together." + +Marguerite's heart was too full to reply. She looked at him with eyes +like her mother's, only they were a little deeper. + +Zay came flying up stairs. + +"Have I neglected you all the afternoon? We found a bad rent in my +pretty frock and Aunt Kate had to change the skirt. Then I wanted to +write some letters and the days are so short." + +She kissed her mother rapturously; then went and sat on her father's +knee. + +"And the Chichesters want us to dinner tomorrow and a little dance +afterward. It is Will's last nibble at pleasure. Oh, why didn't you make +him choose some real business, you naughty father, so he could have +stayed at home like a respectable citizen." + +"And had a sweetheart. Then what would you have done?" + +"Looked up a sweetheart also. Oh, must he go Wednesday night?" + +"Think what a nice long holiday he has had!" + +"And think of three desolate years!" + +"They may be more desolate for us than for him. But it was his choice." + +He entered the room just then. Had Marguerite found any special +entertainment? What had Zay been doing? + +"Oh, writing letters. Marguerite be glad you have not forty dear friends +who are crying write, write all the time." + +No there was only one person she had written to. That was Sally Weeks at +Laconia, and if Sally answered--well, she was lame on spelling, if she +had a good generous heart. + +Zay and her aunt had done something beside writing and mending the party +frock. They had discussed Marguerite. + +"Well," Aunt Kate had said with a long and rather unwilling accent, "she +might have been worse. Her table manners are passable. I do suppose she +has picked up a good deal at Mrs. Barrington's. But she has a rather +uncertain air, and we shall have to hunt her up some clothes. I must +talk to your mother about it." + +"Oh, dear, what a fuss there will be at school; I wish it was all over! +I do wonder what Louie Howe will say! We had some talks--well, I could +see how some of the girls felt." + +"I think that was very natural. I suppose she _was_ presuming." + +"No, she wasn't," returned Zay with heightened color. "I want to be +fair to her for she _is_ my sister. I think I'd rather be an only +daughter, but father will be just as fond of me, I am sure. I don't know +about the boys; but then Vincent won't be home until next summer. I +suppose we'll all go to West Point. Of course, I couldn't well have +stayed with mother this afternoon, so I don't mind her being there--" + +"Zay you are very generous and unsuspecting. I should be sorry to have +any influence undermine your love. You have been all to your mother." + +"But I can't be all now, I see that. Still I'll have you, aunt Kate, and +I won't give up my place in her heart. Oh, trust me to keep that." + +Aunt Kate was anxious for her favorite and though she did not mean to be +ungenerous, she could not so cordially rejoice. If the girl had been +awkward or underbred, she could have taken her in hand with a good +grace. But she was not likely to ask anything of her. + +Dinner was a rather more elaborate meal. It did seen odd to wait for +some one to help to the smallest thing and she wondered how Mrs. Boyd +would feel to have some one standing at her back and anticipating her +wishes before they were hardly formulated. But there was a certain +dignity and pleasure in it with no jar or awkwardness. How did she come +to take to it naturally? She did not seem to feel embarrassed, and how +lovely the room looked with the lights and the still hanging Christmas +greens. + +When Zaidee came in to wish her mother good-night, she did indeed look +like a fairy being. Her frock was some soft, diaphanous stuff over a +pale green slip, some of her curls were tied up high on her head and the +ribbon and that of her sash matched. Three strings of pearl beads were +about her white throat. Marguerite smiled to herself--Miss Nevins would +call that very poor party attire. + +"Don't stay late," Major Crawford said to his son. + +"Oh, we couldn't," declared Zay laughing. "It's a school girls' 'Small +and early.' We begin at eight and the musicians depart at ten and we go +to refreshments, and by eleven, + + "'The lights are fled the music dead, + And all of us departed.'" + +"That is just as it should be," declared aunt Kate, "if you wish to keep +roses and bright eyes for pleasure later on." + +Zay kissed her parents. Marguerite was sitting a little out of range, +but Willard bent over and gave her a tender good-night. Then aunt Kate +wrapped her niece in a lovely evening cloak trimmed with white fox and +drew the hood up carefully, and the carriage soon whisked them to their +destination. + +"Oh, how beautiful she looks!" Marguerite exclaimed involuntarily. + +The mother smiled tenderly. + +"Zaidee has grown up with her beauty," said the father. "I used to be +afraid aunt Kate would spoil her and lead her to think beauty was the +great thing to strive for, but she takes it as a matter of course. I +hope she will be as indifferent about it when she is grown to womanhood, +for nothing destroys the charm like that ultraconsciousness and the bid +for admiration. So many things beside beauty of feature go to make up +the charm of an interesting woman." + +She must be interesting, Marguerite thought. There were so many +delightful qualities one could cultivate. Mrs. Barrington was charming, +and Miss Arran had so many nice quiet ways, that she had insensibly +copied; her low toned voice, her never seeming to hurry and yet going +about any matter as if it was the first thing to be done; her little +orderly methods. She kept her mother's room neat, she put the books back +in their places; there was a cluster of autumn leaves in a vase, or a +sprig of spruce or cedar that for a long while would put forth new +leaves. She was very glad now that she had taken so much pains. Was she +rather unpolished when they had first come from Laconia. But her circle +there was so different. + +She told over only the best of it when her father asked about her life +there. Wasn't this what Willard had meant and she had resented? She +would try not to be ashamed of the poor and plain living since it was +the best Mrs. Boyd could give; but she knew even then she was longing +and planning for something better. + +And a room like this for her very own! She liked it better because her +very own brother had planned it for her. She looked over some of the +books and above his name he had written--"For my Sister Marguerite." And +she was glad with a sense of mystery she did not care to fathom that her +mother's room was between her and Zaidee's. + +What a long day it had been. Yet in a certain sense happy, as happy as +any strange beautiful place with a father and mother,--the latter she +had not even dreamed of when she had thought a father might be found. +Oh, she must be very grateful to God for sending her here where the +tangle could be resolved in such an honorable manner and she must try to +be worthy of all the love lavished upon her. The whole world broadened +and she was part of the higher life. She was looking up to the hill tops +where human endeavors must aspire even though there were failures, and +to the west over beyond the land of eternal love and golden fruition. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +OUT OF HER LOYALTY + + +Mrs. Van Orden's residence was large and handsome and a-light from top +to bottom. There were three daughters from seventeen to thirteen. They +had always been very friendly with the Crawfords, and this gathering was +a good deal in honor of the young midshipman who was so soon to go on +his first cruise of three years. + +The girls in the dressing room hovered about Zay. Wasn't it wonderful +that her sister had been found and living here all these months? Why it +was just like a story! + +"A princess in disguise," laughed Zay. "That was what I called her." + +"And is she--does she look like you?" + +"No, although we are twins you can easily tell us apart. She is taller; +I think she will be like mother. Her hair is--well a sort of bronzy +light brown, and her eyes are such a dark blue that you might mistake +them for black, and she's rather grave; not such a fly-away as I am. Of +course, you know, we have only had her one day though the others went +over to Mrs. Barrington's to see her." + +"And wasn't she something there," asked a girl. + +"She was going to study for a teacher. Mrs. Barrington expected to keep +her after her--well, I suppose we might call it a foster-mother, died. +You see Mrs. Boyd thought the nurse mamma had was her real mother and +she felt so sorry for the baby believing the true mother had been +killed." + +"Why it is a real romance." + +Zaidee meant to put it on a right foundation. At school once she had, in +a way, stood up for her when Louie Howe tried to establish a +distinction. So why shouldn't she now, and always, even if she had not +taken Marguerite cordially to her heart. No one outside should offer a +slight. + +"And you believe it is all true--" + +"Well, I think Dr. Kendricks and Mr. Ledwith and Mrs. Barrington +couldn't all be deceived. You see, this Mrs. Boyd never knew she +belonged to us, but she thought there might be a father somewhere; and +the account of the accident tallied; there were only two babies on the +train and one was killed. Mrs. Boyd knew the baby she took was not +hers. So it is beyond any doubt." + +Zaidee Crawford looked brave and beautiful and her voice would have +carried conviction anywhere, as well as disarming criticism. + +"Oh, you _are_ a darling!" and two or three of the girls kissed her +rapturously. + +"I wouldn't be without a sister for all the world," declared Evelyn Van +Orden, the middle one of the three girls. + +The musicians were tuning up. Several of the young gentlemen stood in +the hall waiting. Mrs. Van Orden summoned them down. + +It was a gay young people's party and numerous were the regrets that +Willard Crawford was to be gone for so long. + +"But you'll have Vincent all next summer," he said. "And there is no +scarcity of other young fellows." + +"But they go away, as well. Unless they have a fortune they cannot +afford to stay at home." + +"And I have all mine to make," he returned, with mock seriousness. + +It was true that at ten the music stopped, but there was some gay +chatting over the refreshments and then the carriages began to come. +They all expressed their pleasure to their hostess. Willard insisted +that they should take home two or three of the girls, and they were +nothing loth. + +"But, you see, Zay is quite certain she owns him, and she gave him about +every other dance," said Sophie Lawrence, as she stood on the steps with +her sister. + +When they were alone Willard reached over and took his sister's hand in +a warm clasp. + +"Zay, I heard your fine defense for Marguerite. I was waiting at the +head of the stairs. I suppose for awhile there will be some gossip and +wondering, but there never can be any doubt of the truth. I think she is +going to make a fine and admirable woman, and I hope you two will love +each other as Vin and I always have." + +"You can't love anyone offhand. Such a love would not be worth having, +and if she wins you away from me--" + +"Oh, Zay, silly child! No one can take your place in the heart of one of +us." + +"I'm not sure." Zay was crying then. + +"You will be sure in the years to come. For mother's sake let us be a +united family. You can never be crowded out. And I think the more love +one gives, the more one gets in return." + +The Major was waiting for them and gave them a tender good-night. + +They were all busy the next day in consultations. A package of clothing +came over from Barrington house that Miss Arran had put in order for +Marguerite, much of it being gifts from Mrs. Barrington, accompanied +with the kindliest and most delicate note. Aunt Kate had fussed a little +about the child not having anything fit to wear. + +"Mrs. Barrington is right, it is best not to make too great a change, +though I think Marguerite's tastes are very simple. Zay, I fancy, has +had rather too much, but she is not as vain of her clothes as of her +beauty, and she is a dear, sweet child. Aunt Kate, we all owe you so +much, and we will see how Marguerite develops." + +Miss Crawford was somewhat mollified, but she returned--"Zay must not be +crowded out of her mother's heart." + +"Oh, there is no fear of that. If we had the six we planned for I think +none of them would complain. Mother love is elastic." + +Willard and Zay were much engrossed making farewell calls. He was very +bright and hopeful, picturing the points of interest he should see and +the experience he should gain. And there would be letters. Three years +would pass rapidly. He stipulated that the girls should not be married +until his return. + +"We have had such a nice long vacation with you," said his mother, "and +we must comfort ourselves with that; and I may come over to some port +with the girls if you are to stay long enough. I feel as if I was just +beginning to live a new life. Think, there have been times when I hardly +expected to see one of you again. Now I am full of hope." + +"My blessed mother!" + +He would write when he reached Washington and tell them what the plans +were. If they were not quite ready Zay and his father might come on for +a few days' visit. + +Zay kissed her mother and went to her room where she gave way to a +violent fit of weeping. + +"I ought to go to your mother," said Aunt Kate. Major Crawford had gone +to the station with his son. + +"Oh, no, stay with me, she will have Marguerite. Oh, if Willard never +never should come back! So many accidents happen," she sobbed. + +"Don't let us think of that; so many come home safely. Oh, my child, try +to be a little tranquil. He is here in the country yet and will not go +away for several days. Summon your fortitude for the sake of the +others." + +"No one loves him as I do," she moaned. + +"I love him dearly. You children have been like my own, I have had so +much of the care of you." + +"But I love him so dearly, and if he should get weaned away! Why, I +should be heartbroken!" + +"My dear!" Aunt Kate sat on the side of the bed, bathed her head with +fragrant water and comforted her with endearing terms until she grew +tranquil and finally fell asleep. + +Mrs. Crawford had seated herself on the couch and motioned Marguerite +beside her. + +"My dear daughter," she said, steadying her voice, "heaven only knows +how glad I am to have you and we must comfort one another. I had dreaded +Willard going, but God has been good to me and sent you just when I +needed you most. We shall be very happy in each other's society, I +foresee. You will be my girl as Zay is Aunt Kate's. Willard is so +interested in you, and when it is a little pleasanter we will go driving +together. I like the byways and the nooks and the wild flowers. Oh, do +you think you could learn to ride? You would not be afraid! Father is +so fond of it. Oh, the rides we used to have in our early life!" + +Marguerite's eyes lighted with eager pleasure. "Oh, I should like it," +she returned, earnestly. + +"And he is so fond of it. It seems as if he had given up so many things +for me. I used to go out to the Stations with him and live in the Forts. +What magnificent gallops we have had. I don't wonder the boys were +imbued with the love of military life, their father was such an ardent +soldier. We were very happy with our boys but we _did_ want a daughter. +I was so proud of the twins, perhaps too proud. Yet I do not think we +can love these choice gifts of God too much, so long as we are grateful +to the giver. Then there came all the sorrowful years. For a long while +they thought I never would walk again. The Major resigned from the army +and I know it was a sore cross to him. But we took much pleasure in +educating our boys, and Zay was such a bright, winsome little thing. Her +passion is dancing and being merry. She loves to go out driving but I +think she is afraid of managing a horse. Her father tried to train her a +little but she cried and begged off, and the boys have been away so +much. Oh, it will give him the greatest pleasure." + +"And I want to devote my life to your happiness to make up for the years +when you did not have me. You must train me in your ways, you must tell +me what he likes best." + +"Oh, my darling!" + +Major Crawford found them in a close embrace when he returned. + +"Oh," the wife began, eagerly, "we have been planning some pleasures so +we shall not feel Willard's loss too keenly. You must teach Marguerite +to ride and to play chess and we will read the old poets. Some of them +are so charming. Why it will seem as if we had gone in an enchanted +country--the Forest of Arden." + +How bright and smiling she was! He kissed her and then sat down on the +other side of Marguerite. He had been afraid he would find her in sore +need of comfort. + +Aunt Kate came in presently. + +"Zaidee has fallen asleep," she said. "She was completely unnerved by +the parting. Her feelings are so strong, her love has such depths to it, +so I have been soothing her to comparative tranquility. You will not +miss this one good-night." + +"We shall all miss the boy very much, and he will return to us a man of +full stature. I think we can trust him to return as true and honorable +as when he went away. Yes, he and Zaidee have been together a great deal +this last six months and she will miss him sorely." + +"But there will be school and new interests," said the mother. "We must +see Mrs. Barrington and make some future arrangements. Why in May the +girls will be sixteen!" + +"Sixteen!" re-echoed their father. "Let us have them set back." + +"Oh no," cried Marguerite, "rather let us stay just here. I should like +to make two days of every one. I am afraid no day will be long enough." + +Miss Crawford turned away. The others resumed their talk and she heard +their joyous voices. "Poor Zay! Poor Willard!" she said, under her +breath. + +When she went to her room and it was quite late the gas was lighted, her +bed been put in the most inviting order and there lay a pretty +nightdress with its garniture. She colored with a thrill of pleasure. +Then she turned and surveyed herself in the glass. Her eyes had a +luminous softness, there was a faint pink in her cheeks and her lips +had lost their compression, were absolutely shaped into a smile. If she +_could_ grow prettier! But her parents loved her. She knew that and it +filled her with joy. + +Zaidee was bright as usual the next morning and hovered about her father +in a tender manner. "By this time Willard was in Washington. When would +he know his time of sailing?" + +"I believe the vessel is at Fortress Monroe; we will hear soon." + +"Aunt Kate we ought to make some calls today and Margie Putnam has a tea +this afternoon, just an informal little affair. Her cousin has come from +Providence, I believe, and will try to get in at Mrs. Barrington's. I +should think there would be lovely schools in Providence." + +"I want to go over to Mrs. Barrington's this morning," said Mrs. +Crawford, "about ten; will you order the carriage?" to her husband. + +Then she asked the maid to unpack a box that they had brought home on +their last journey. There were many beautiful materials. They did seem +extravagant at the time, but she was rather glad now. + +"Marguerite, I wonder if you could wear these things. This green is +lovely." It was a cloth that had the sheen of satin. She held it up to +the young girl. Why, yes--it would make a handsome winter suit trimmed +with fur. And this sort of lavender gray--it is a favorite color of +mine. "We will see the dressmaker this morning." + +Marguerite flushed and glancing up smiled gratefully, though she could +not trust her voice to speak. + +"Oh, it will be delightful for me to have a young girl to dress--a +daughter. Perhaps, I shall be a foolish mother, but Aunt Kate has always +looked after Zay's attire. I believe I was not much interested in +clothes, but now I shall be and I have so many pretty things I shall +never wear again. Zay is overburdened now," laughing softly, "and Aunt +Kate will dower her. Oh, Marguerite, I am so glad to have you! It has +given a new impetus to my life," and she held the girl to her heart. + +It was a bright morning, cold, but with no perceptible wind. The trees +were outlined against the blue sky, where there was scarcely a drift of +white floating about. The evergreen about the lawns made it look less +like winter and here and there a conservatory showed brilliant bloom. +How beautiful the town was even in the winter. + +There were two streets given over to business in one of which a trolley +line was allowed, largely for the convenience of the outlying +settlements. There really were some very nice stores. There was a fine +music hall used for lectures and now and then a play found its way +thither. Some seven miles distant was a thriving city. + +The carriage paused at a fine residence with just a nameplate on the +door. They were ushered into a handsome parlor and in a few moments +Madam came sweeping down the broad stairway, her silken gown making a +soft swish on the polished floor. She was surprised and delighted to see +Mrs. Crawford, who introduced her daughter and soon stated her errand. +The green was to be a walking suit for Miss Marguerite and trimmed with +whatever fur would be considered most appropriate. The lavender would be +a sort of dinner and general-utility dress and ornamented with some +beautiful Persian embroidery that had been brought from abroad; one of +Aunt Kate's bargains. + +When it was all settled the forewoman was called, who ushered Marguerite +upstairs into the fitting room where two tall mirrors gave the place +twice the size. There were measurements and discussions but the fitter +was horrified to learn that the young girl had never worn corsets. + +"Still she has a fine figure. You will make a larger woman than your +sister, indeed, you _do_ favor your mother. It is like a miracle to see +Mrs. Crawford going about without any aid. She had such a splendid +physique until that horrible accident. How overjoyed they must feel that +you escaped." + +Marguerite quietly admitted that and presently she was returned to her +mother. + +"We might have sent for them, but I thought you wouldn't mind, and I +should have had to explain it all to Aunt Kate. Why, I feel as if I had +run away on some secret expedition. Do I look guilty?" and she laughed +softly. "You are to be my girl you know. Oh, I hope you wont think me +exigent? I can't endure fussiness, and I do believe that I have given in +to Zay's desires when I did not think them wise or necessary, rather +than have any discussion. But Aunt Kate loves her so and she has been so +good to me." + +Mrs. Barrington was delighted to see them. While the two ladies +discussed studies and future plans, Marguerite ran through to the study +where the left-over scholars were arranging a little play they were to +amuse themselves with that afternoon. But Miss Nevins uttered a shriek +of delight and nearly toppled her over in an exuberant embrace. + +"Oh, my dear Miss Boyd--Crawford, I mean, will we get used to the new +name! Isn't it all splendid! And to be so rich and to belong to a first +class family! It _does_ make a difference. I've been writing to mamma +all about it. It ought to be put in a book. But I liked you so from the +very first, and you were so good to me. But the girls kept hectoring me +and saying mamma wouldn't approve. She's very particular about the +friends I make, because I shall go in the best society when I get +introduced. I think papa will give me a ball. It is real stylish to have +it at Sherry's. And I want you and your sister; only you ought to look +more alike, being twins; I'm just as glad as if something grand had +happened to me. And your father ought to give you a splendid party at +Crawford House. I suppose it is very fine and all that." + +Her face was in a glow and her dull brown eyes had a glint in them that +improved them very much. + +"I am just the same as when I was Lilian Boyd," she began. But Alice +interrupted--"Oh, no, you're not, and you will soon find it out. It's +all right, too. Rich people _do_ have more chances, and seeing the world +and mixing with high up style gives you an air. Why you couldn't imagine +that plain little Mrs. Boyd with her meek air going to dinners and +balls, and she never could have earned money enough to dress any. That's +what tells. And when you can't go into society or meet nice people but +just stay at home and work or teach--what fun is there in life? Why I'd +rather be dead." + +"I should want to be alive even if I were Lilian Boyd. I think it is a +grand world, and there is so much happening all the time. And I don't +care so much about being rich--" + +"But you _will_ and your mother is so lovely. Major Crawford looks +rather stern and that handsome young man--what a pity he's to follow the +sea, unless he gets to be an Admiral, and then he'll have to be quite +old. I'd rather be at West Point. Oh, I wish I had a brother." + +Marguerite looked pityingly at the silly girl. Then she asked about the +play. Miss Nevins had been to the theatre and wanted to remodel the +simple little story, and there had been some warm arguments. + +"I must go and see Miss Arran." There was no use disputing proprieties +with the overwise girl. But she hoped they had all begun a Happy New +Year. + +Alice followed her into the hall. "You are coming back to school and now +we can be real good friends. Oh, I just love you and I'm so glad all +this happened to you." Before Marguerite could evade it she had given +her a rapturous kiss which the girl rubbed off an instant later. + +Miss Arran was truly glad to see her and they exchanged warm wishes. + +"We have a new caretaker, quite a young woman, but I do not take a real +fancy to her. Your mother, oh, excuse me saying that--was so neat and +particular and did every thing so well." + +Marguerite smiled. She had often added touches of order and neatness, +and kept the room tidy with a taste that never appealed to Mrs. Boyd. +Though, perhaps, it had in her earlier years. The young girl could +understand now, how gradually she had failed. + +And there was Mrs. Dane with her cordial grasp and the heartiness of her +greeting. Whatever distrust she might have had had vanished. + +"We are so glad to have you back again," she exclaimed, "and such a +bright future opening before you, though I must have given you the same +respect if you had been here teaching. Mrs. Barrington doesn't often +take such a fancy to anyone. She did from the very first, and though +you'll find the money and position will make a difference in some +quarters, it never would have with her." + +"Oh, I am sure of that," responded the girl earnestly. + +The two ladies had settled about the studies and the music and Mrs. +Barrington explained a little plan. All the girls would be in by +Saturday and she thought it would be well to introduce Marguerite in her +new circumstances. She would, therefore, give a little dinner at which +the sisters should be the guests of honor. That would prevent any gossip +or comment and give Marguerite that home feeling with the other +students. Mrs. Crawford assented cordially. + +"And now, we must go or we will be late for lunch. I can never thank you +enough for your kindly interest in my dear girl when she came to you an +unknown stranger and if anything should happen to me, for I have +wondered if one could be so happy and enjoy it for long, I should want +you always to be her friend." + +"You may depend upon that, but the good days are only the outgrowth of +patiently borne bad ones; beauty for ashes." + +Mrs. Crawford was very bright at luncheon. She announced to Zaidee Mrs. +Harrington's plan for the informal dinner. + +"Why, I think it excellent," declared Zaidee. "You see, we should both +be questioned. It's awfully tiresome to have to tell an occurrence over +and over and Mrs. Barrington would carry conviction. I hope you won't +mind, Marguerite. See what it is to be a heroine." + +"I was nearly killed with Miss Nevins and wouldn't it be a good thing to +refer curious people to Mrs. Barrington?" + +Marguerite glanced up with a half smile. + +"We have to pay the penalty for any unusual happenings," said their +father. "I think I should feel interested if this had occurred in the +home of a neighbor. So we will not set it down to idle curiosity. Even +_I_ had to be convinced that it was not mere hearsay." + +As they were leaving the room Miss Crawford said in a low tone, +"Margaret--don't you need some shopping or planning done?" + +"Thank you, Kate. You have been a true sister all these years. I took +Marguerite and some material to Madame Blauvelt this morning. She +thought that green cloth would make a very becoming suit and the +lavender grey. They will not go out much this winter now that the +holidays are over, and they are too young." + +Miss Crawford only said, "Oh, very well." + +The mother had a half guilty feeling as if she had unduly asserted +herself, yet she was inexpressibly happy. + +There were calls in the afternoon and Zaidee sat alone in her room +leaning her chin on her hand and glancing out of the window. + +In a way she had been the family heroine. + +The twin sister who might have been so dear had been wrenched out of her +life. She had thought of her, dreamed of her, although she had been well +content to fill the place of an only daughter with this faint shadow of +sorrow hanging over her; and suddenly, she had been uprooted, flung +aside as it were, and another had stepped into her place. She did not +like it. If it had been from the beginning! If it had come about some +other way. If someone had sent from that Western town. Would the girls +who had held themselves above the Boyd connection feel mortified at many +of the comments they had made? She was glad she had held up some +supposititious cases; though, truth to tell, Zaidee felt too secure of +her own standing to need any propping, and there was a strand of +independence in her character, but she had been first all her life and +in a curious fashion she would lose that eminence. + +Of course, in time she would love Marguerite. One could not do it in a +moment. That was the salve she was applying to her conscience. When they +had known each other for months, learned and respected each others' +peculiarities, love would come. She had not felt inclined to fling +herself in Lilian Boyd's arms, and she had almost doubted at first. So +had Aunt Kate. + +Zaidee would have scouted the thought of jealousy, and if it had been +suggested would have denied it vehemently. Neither was she given to +analysis. Her temperament was rather volatile and pleasure loving. The +things that suited her she enjoyed, the others she passed by +indifferently. She did like to be made much of, and she thought she was +worthy of preference. She had beauty, good nature and a heedless sort +of generosity and wealth. In a certain way she saw the benefit of that +quite as much as Alice Nevins though she did not esteem it the chief +good. + +Major Crawford came in from his walk just at dusk. + +"Letters!" holding it up. "A thick packet--one for each of us, I think." + +Zaidee had been waiting for Aunt Kate to come up stairs, as the last +caller had gone. She was lonely after this long communing with herself. + +"If there is not one for me I shall go to bed and cry," she declared as +she followed to her mother's room. Aunt Kate had been detailing some of +the pleasant neighborhood news. + +Yes--each one was directed. Willard had not omitted one member of the +household. He was in Washington and had come just in time for some of +the grand occasions. Saturday he was to board his vessel and by +Wednesday, at the farthest, they were to start on their three years' +pilgrimage. But to each one some tenderness exclusively for herself. To +Zay he recalled many of their joys during the summer time, little events +they were glad to hold together and the blessed news of their mother. + +"There will never be anything quite like that," she thought to herself. +"And there is no one else--Aunt Kate never felt afraid to trust us, and +of course, he will grow older, find a sweetheart perhaps, and I may have +a lover; girls of nineteen do. Up to this time he has cared the most for +me." + +Marguerite turned to the window though the gas had been lighted. There +was no past to refer to, only the sweet, tender hopes of the future. It +touched her deeply. No one had ever written her such a letter before. +And that he was her brother and would write again and again. She must +strive to deserve this love and confidence, grow up into the fine +character he had pictured for her. Vincent had sent her fond messages in +his mother's letter but she did not know him and he could not come so +near. + +Zay read some of hers aloud, but she wondered a little what he could +find to say so much of to Marguerite. She had not the courage to show it +to her mother, even, it seemed so sacred to her. Oh, could she reach the +heights he had indicated? + +Marguerite did shrink from the ordeal of Saturday evening. She had kept +rigorously to the position of Mrs. Boyd's daughter but how would she +meet these girls who had held aloof in her poverty and proffered +cordiality now, because she was Major Crawford's daughter! She could not +get over a little hurt feeling, for surely she was the same person. She +almost despised the money and the position. But there was the grand and +tender love. Ah, that was worth a great deal. + +By Saturday noon all the girls had come in. There were merry greetings, +recapitulations of the holiday times and the gifts they had received and +some of them heard for the first time the change in Lilian Boyd's life. + +"I always liked her," said Isabel Gordon, "only you couldn't get on with +her. She allowed you to come so far and no farther. And she was a most +excellent student and very ready to help anyone. I don't think you girls +need ever felt afraid of her presuming and now I suppose you will all go +down to her." + +Miss Gordon's voice had a touch of indignation. + +"I shall pay her the respect due her standing, of course," said another, +"I was always polite to her in the classes. + +"And, Louie Howe, you know you persuaded that Nevins' girl to write that +hateful letter to her, when she had been so good and taken so much +pains with her." + +"I didn't _persuade_," rejoined Louie, angrily. + +"You said you were sure Mrs. Nevins wouldn't approve of the +friendship--yes I think you _did_ suggest the letter and Miss Nevins +slipped back woefully. How many of us would have taken her into grace +again? And I know Mrs. Barrington held Miss Boyd in high esteem." + +"She thought she would make a fine teacher; so, of course, she pushed +her along." + +"Oh, Louie!" in deprecating tones. + +"Well, you may all go down to her. I shan't object. She can't hold a +candle to Zaidee." + +"Oh, Zay is a darling!" + +"I wonder how she takes it. She has always been a little Queen and her +aunt thinks the sun rises and sets in her and sweeps the very stars out +of sight; and Zay isn't a bit puffed up or arrogant, but she does want +people to love and admire her. And now that her mother has recovered +sufficiently to go into society again I am afraid Zay won't like to +share her." + +"Miss Marguerite isn't handsome and Zay is a beauty, and the least vain +of any pretty girl that I ever met." + +"It's funny for twins not to look more alike, but there's something +noble about her, and she has the same lovely complexion. What she needs +is more color." + +The carriage drove around; Mrs. Barrington welcomed them both warmly. +Marguerite was in a light evening dress that made her look much younger +and her hair had been becomingly arranged by the maid. All the girls +were summoned to the drawing room and Mrs. Barrington entered with her +most delightful air. + +"Young ladies," she began, "I have a new scholar to introduce to your +circle, Miss Marguerite Crawford, the lost child of Major and Mrs. +Crawford, supposed to have been killed in the sad accident fifteen years +ago. Mrs. Boyd's baby was killed and she, mistaking the nurse who was +killed for the mother, out of pity, took the child. Her health was not +very good when she came here and it failed gradually. Then she thought +she ought to take some steps that the child might be able to trace her +relatives, if she had any. You may have all heard the story, which has +been proved beyond a doubt, and she has found the most cordial welcome +in her own family. I hope you will all rejoice with her, though I had +resolved if no claimant were found, to keep her here as my own. I hope +you will unite with me in giving her the warmest of welcomes in your +circle as ambitious students. I thought you might like to meet her in +her new relation to us before the real work of next week began." + +There was a moment's silence, then Miss Gordon stepped forward and +clasped her hand. + +"I think we all rejoice in your good fortune; also, that we are not to +lose you. It is a beautiful and happy romance and Mrs. Barrington's +plans for you would have been fully deserved if something so much more +delightful had not happened. Believe me, I shall always be glad to have +known you." + +There was an instant confusion of voices and a throng gathering about +her. Zaidee stood beside her looking proud and happy as congratulations +poured in upon her. The cordial acceptance did touch her. She was glad +to begin her new life by being friendly with them all. + +Presently they went out to the dining room and it was quite a festive +occasion. Zaidee was bright and charming, and endeared herself more than +ever to the girls. No one should say she had a grudging thought. +Phillipa Rosewald proposed drinking toasts to her, even if it was only +in water, and much girlish wit and laughter went round. + +"Why it's been a delightful party," several of them declared. "Mrs. +Barrington, how can we thank you?" + +"By being cordial and helpful with each other and holding fast to the +divine truths that shape character and will make you admirable women +capable of filling the best and highest positions in life; and, +remember, there is nothing more satisfactory in the world than true and +generous friendship." + +Phillipa rescued Zay from the overwhelming kissing and hugs. + +"Oh, my dear, isn't it all wonderful? Why you didn't write half of it to +me! And I laughed over your little scare of scarlet fever. Louie had a +mental attack, I think. She went almost crazy, but I fancy she won't +blow on us. It was a silly thing to do, but see here--" and she twisted +a ring around her finger. "A diamond, sure enough, but I can't be +engaged until I've graduated. It's just awful, and only a little stolen +bit in his sister's letters to me. But he thinks he'll plan a way to see +me at Easter, even if he has to come here. So the old woman didn't miss +it there! And I do wonder how you'll like a sister? You spoiled little +midget!" + +"Oh, we shan't quarrel," with a gay laugh. + +The carriage had come for them and there were enough farewells to send +them off to Europe. + +"Zay _does_ take it beautifully," said a group of girls. "Lucky that +Miss Nevins was all bunged up with a bad toothache and swelled face. +She'd counted so much on being in at the feast." + +The three elders were sitting up for them. + +"We've just had a gay old time and Rita was the star of the goodly +company," exclaimed Zaidee in her merriest tone. "We drank healths +enough to sink a ship and Mrs. Barrington was sweetness itself. I'm +tired and sleepy, so you won't mind if I run off to bed. And Monday the +treadmill of school begins. Only one day of grace!" + +She kissed her parents, then her sister. Was she beginning to love her? +She had been so radiantly sweet tonight. + +"You _did_ enjoy it?" and the Major pulled Marguerite down on his knee. + +"Oh, yes, only I didn't like being quite so much of a heroine. But my +most ardent admirer was ill in bed, and I was thankful for that." + +He laughed. How different she was from Zay. Had it been her quiet +restricted sphere, her struggle with the life she had known in dreams +and the bald every day experiences? Zay laughed at the favors and +pleasures showered upon her but she would not have been the bright, +merry girl without them. Would the gravity of the one help to tone down +the mercurial temperament of the other? Oh, it was so good to have them +both! Could he ever be thankful enough? And he forgave the poor woman in +her grave. + +Zaidee chatted awhile with Aunt Kate who fancied she understood all the +thoughts of the young girl's heart. It was not strange she should be a +little jealous, but she had more gifts to attract the world with, and +the pendulum of her parents' love would swing back presently. Then the +child said good-night and went to her white bed, but the sleepiness had +gone by and she was wondering about herself. + +Would she come to love this strange sister who had been thrust upon her +as it were. Truly, she did not know. If she kept the old love of them +all, the first love, no one could quite climb up to that place in their +hearts and if Marguerite could be content with the second place--that +really was hers, she would be sweet and gracious and share honors with +her. + +Poor child! She did not understand what love really meant; that it was +to dole out the overplus of one's life when one was in the mood, or +withhold when one chose, was, as yet, her definition of it. What can an +overindulged child know of the grand motives it takes a life-time to +learn? + +Marguerite looked out on the shining night with its tender hush, with no +wind stirring, no sound anywhere. A new life unrolled before her; an +illumination and comprehension of the past that would be builded in the +years to come. Whatsoever was lovely and of good report was to be the +foundation stones of the temple God had bidden her to rear. Would she +learn to be lovely in feature and expression from the inward light of +the soul--the lamp God had set there? + +Yet the new life had brought grander duties than mere self advancement, +and Marguerite prayed that she might fulfill them faithfully. + + + * * * * * + + +ALWAYS ASK FOR THE DONOHUE +Complete Editions and you will get the best for the least money + +Book by MRS. E. D. E. N. SOUTHWORTH + +AN ATTRACTIVE LIST OF THE +WORKS OF THIS POPULAR AUTHOR + +The first eighteen titles with brackets are books with sequels, +"Victor's Triumph," being a sequel to "Beautiful Fiend," etc. They are +all printed from large, clear type on a superior quality of flexible +paper and bound in English vellum cloth, assorted colors, containing +charming female heads lithographed in twelve colors, as inlays; the +titles being stamped in harmonizing colors of ink or foil. Cloth, +12mo size. + +{1 Beautiful Fiend, A +{2 Victor's Triumph + +{3 Bride's Fate +{4 Changed Brides + +{5 Cruel as the Grave +{6 Tried for Her Life + +{7 Fair Play +{8 How He Won Her + +{9 Family Doom +{10 Maiden Widow + +{11 Hidden Hand, The +{12 Capitola's Peril + +{13 Ishmael +{14 Self Raised + +{15 Lost Heir of Linlithgow +{16 Noble Lord, A + +{17 Unknown +{18 Mystery of Raven Rocks + +19 Bridal Eve, The +20 Bride's Dowry, The +21 Bride of Llewellyn, The +22 Broken Engagement, The +23 Christmas Guest, The +24 Curse of Clifton +25 Deserted Wife, The +26 Discarded Daughter, The +27 Doom of Deville, The +28 Eudora +29 Fatal Secret, A +30 Fortune Seeker +31 Gypsy's Prophecy +32 Haunted Homestead +33 India; or, The Pearl of Pearl River +34 Lady of the Isle, The +35 Lost Heiress, The +36 Love's Labor Won +37 Missing Bride, The +38 Mother-in-Law +39 Prince of Darkness, and Artist's Love +40 Retribution +41 Three Beauties, The +42 Three Sisters, The +43 Two Sisters, The +44 Vivian +45 Widow's Son +46 Wife's Victory + +All of the above books may be had at the store where this book was +bought, or will be sent postpaid at 75c each by the publishers. + +M. A. DONOHUE & CO. +701-727 Dearborn Street--CHICAGO + + + + * * * * * + + + +Transcriber's note: + + The Table of Contents was not present in original edition and was + added for the convenience of the reader. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE GIRLS AT MOUNT MORRIS*** + + +******* This file should be named 24070.txt or 24070.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/0/7/24070 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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