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diff --git a/24119-8.txt b/24119-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6b52d1e --- /dev/null +++ b/24119-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2518 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Make Mine Homogenized, by Rick Raphael + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Make Mine Homogenized + +Author: Rick Raphael + +Illustrator: Freas + +Release Date: January 2, 2008 [EBook #24119] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAKE MINE HOMOGENIZED *** + + + + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +Transcriber's Note: This e-text was produced from Astounding Science +Fiction, April, 1960. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence +that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. + + + +MAKE MINE HOMOGENIZED + + +By RICK RAPHAEL + +Illustrated by Freas + + +Anyone looking for guaranteed sound science will have to look +elsewhere. But if it's fun you want ... try the world's most potent +eggnog! + + +"Shoo," Hetty Thompson cried, waving her battered old felt hat at the +clucking cluster of hens eddying around her legs as she plowed through +the flock towards the chicken house. "Scat. You, Solomon," she called +out, directing her words at the bobbing comb of the big rooster +strutting at the edge of the mob. "Don't just stand there like a +satisfied cowhand after a night in Reno. Get these noisy females outta +my way." She batted at the hens and they scattered with angry squawks +of protest. + +Hetty paused in the doorway of the chicken house to allow her eyes to +become accustomed to the cool gloom after the bright glare of the ranch +yard. She could feel the first trickles of sweat forming under the +man's shirt she was wearing as the hot, early morning Nevada sun beat +down on her back in the doorway. + +Moving carefully but quickly through the nests, she reached and groped +for the eggs she knew would be found in the scattered straw. As she +placed each find carefully in the bucket she carried, her lips moved in +a soundless count. When she had finished, she straightened up and left +the chicken house, her face reflecting minor irritation. + +Again the hens swirled about her, hoping for the handfuls of cracked +corn she usually tossed to them. On the other side of the yard Solomon +stepped majestically along the edge of the vegetable garden, never +crossing the hoed line separating garden from yard. + +"You'd better stay over there, you no-account Lothario," Hetty growled. +"Five eggs short this morning and all you do is act like you were just +the business agent for this bunch of fugitives from a dumpling pot." +Solomon cocked his head and stared Hetty down. She paused at the foot +of the backporch steps and threw the rooster a final remark. "You don't +do any better than this you're liable to wind up in that pot yourself." +Solomon gave a scornful cluck. "Better still, I'll get me a young +rooster in here and take over your job." Solomon let out a squawk and +took out at a dead run, herding three hens before him towards the +chicken house. + +With a satisfied smile of triumph, Hetty climbed the steps and crossed +to the kitchen door. She turned and looked back across the yard towards +the barn and corrals. + +"Barneeeeey," Hetty yelled. "Ain't you finished with that milking yet?" + +"Comin' now, Miz Thompson," came the reply from the barn. Hetty let the +screen door slam behind her as she walked into the kitchen and placed +the bucket of eggs on the big work table. She had her arm up to wipe +her moist forehead on the sleeve of her shirt when she spotted the +golden egg lying in the middle of the others in the galvanized bucket. + +She froze in the arm-lifted position for several seconds, staring at +the dully glowing egg. Then she slowly reached out and picked it up. It +was slightly heavier than a regular egg, but for the dull, gold-bronze +metallic appearance of the shell, looked just like any of the other +twenty-odd eggs in the bucket. She was still holding it in the palm of +her hand when the kitchen door again slammed and the handy man limped +into the room. He carried two pails of milk across the kitchen and set +them down near the sink. + +"Whatcha lookin' at, Miz Thompson?" Barney Hatfield asked. + +Hetty frowned at the egg in her hand without answering. Barney limped +around the side of the table for a closer look. Sunlight streaming +through the kitchen windows glinted on the shell of the odd egg. +Barney's eyes grew round. "Now ain't that something," he whispered in +awe. + +Hetty started as though someone had snapped their fingers in front of +her staring eyes. Her normal look of practical dubiousness returned. + +"Huh," she snorted. "Even had me fooled for a second. Something wrong +with this egg but it sure is shootin' ain't gold. One of them fool hens +must of been pecking in the fertilizer storeroom and got herself an +overdose of some of them minerals in that stuff. + +"What are you staring at, you old fool," she glared at Barney. "It +ain't gold." Hetty laid the egg at one side of the table. She walked to +the sink and took a clean, two-gallon milk can from the drainboard and +set it in the sink to fill it from the pails of rich, frothy milk +Barney had brought in the pails. + +"Sally come fresh this morning, Miz Thompson," he said. "Got herself a +real fine little bull calf." + +Hetty looked at the two pails of milk. "Well, where's the rest of the +milk, then?" + +"That's Queenie's milk," Barney said. "Sally's is still out on the +porch." + +"Well bring it in before the sun clabbers it." + +"Can't," Barney said. + +Hetty swung around and glared at him. "What do you mean, you can't? You +suddenly come down with the glanders?" + +"No'm, it's just that Sally's milk ain't no good," he replied. + + * * * * * + +A frown spread over Hetty's face as she hoisted one of the milk pails +and began pouring into the can in the sink. "What's wrong with it, +Barney? Sally seem sick or something?" she asked. + +Barney scratched his head. "I don't rightly know, Miz Thompson. That +milk looks all right, or at least, almost all right. It's kinda thin +and don't have no foam like you'd expect milk to have. But mostly, it +sure don't smell right and it danged well don't taste right. + +"_Phooey._" He made a face at the memory of the taste. "I stuck my +finger in it when it looked kinda queer, and took a taste. It shore +tasted lousy." + +"You probably been currying that mangey old horse of yours before you +went to milking," Hetty snorted, "and tasted his cancerous old hide on +your fingers. I've told you for the last time to wash your hands before +you go to milking them cows. I didn't pay no eighteen hundred dollars +for that prize, registered Guernsey just to have you give her bag fever +with your dirty hands." + +"That ain't so, Miz Thompson," Barney cried indignantly. "I did too, +wash my hands. Good, too. I wuzn't near my horse this morning. That +milk just weren't no good." + +Hetty finished pouring the milk into the cans and after putting the +cans in the refrigerator, wiped her hands on her jeans and went out +onto the porch, Barney trailing behind her. She bent over and sniffed +at the two milk pails setting beside the door. "_Whew_," she +exclaimed, "it sure does smell funny. Hand me that dipper, Barney." + +Barney reached for a dipper hanging on a nail beside the kitchen door. +Hetty dipped out a small quantity of the milk, sipped, straightened up +with a jerk and spewed the milk out into the yard. "Yaawwwk," she +spluttered, "that tastes worse 'n Diesel oil." + +She stared distastefully at the swirling, flat-looking liquid in the +pails and then turned back to the kitchen. "I never saw the like of +it," she exclaimed. "Chickens come out with some kind of sorry-looking +egg and now, in the same morning, an eighteen hundred dollar +registered, fresh Guernsey gives out hogwash instead of milk." She +stared thoughtfully across the yard at the distant mountains, now +shimmering in the hot, midmorning sun. "Guess we could swill the hogs +with that milk, rather'n throw it out, Barney. I never seen anything +them Durocs wouldn't eat. When you get ready to put the other swill in +the cooker, toss that milk in with it and cook it up for the hogs." + +Hetty went back into her kitchen and Barney turned and limped across +the yard to the tractor shed. He pulled the brim of his sweat-stained +Stetson over his eyes and squinted south over the heat-dancing sage and +sparse grasslands of Circle T range. Dust devils were pirouetting in +the hazy distance towards the mountains forming a corridor leading to +the ranch. A dirt road led out of the yard and crossed an oiled county +road about five miles south of the ranch. The county road was now the +only link the Circle T had to the cattle shipping pens at Carson City. +The dirt road arrowed south across the range but fifteen miles from the +ranch, a six-strand, new, barbed-wire fence cut the road. A white metal +sign with raised letters proclaimed "Road Closed. U.S. Government +Military Reservation. Restricted Area. Danger--Peligre. Keep Out." + +The taut bands of wire stretched east and west of the road for more +than twenty miles in each direction, with duplicates of the metal sign +hung on the fence every five hundred yards. Then the wires turned south +for nearly a hundred miles, etching in skin-blistering, sun-heated +strands, the outlines of the Nevada atomic testing grounds at +Frenchman's Flat. + +When the wire first went up, Hetty and her ranching neighbors had +screamed to high heaven and high congressmen about the loss of the road +and range. The fence stayed up. Now they had gotten used to the idea +and had even grown blasé about the frequent nuclear blasts that rattled +the desert floor sixty miles from ground zero. + + * * * * * + +Barney built a fire under the big, smoke-blackened cauldron Hetty used +for cooking the hog swill. Dale Hamilton, the county agent, had given +Hetty a long talk on the dangers of feeding the pigs, raw, uncooked and +possibly contaminated, garbage. When Hamilton got graphic about what +happened to people who ate pork from such hogs, Hetty turned politely +green and had Barney set up the cooking cauldron. + +After dumping the kitchen slops into the pot, Barney hiked back across +the yard to get the two pails of bad milk. + +Hetty was sitting at the kitchen table, putting the eggs into plastic +refrigerator dishes when the hog slop exploded in a whooshing roar, +followed a split second later by an even louder blast that rocked the +ranch buildings. The eggs flew across the room as the lid of the slop +cauldron came whistling through the kitchen window in a blizzard of +flying glass and buried itself, edgewise, in the wall over the stove. +Hetty slammed backwards headfirst into a heap of shattered eggs. A +torrent of broken plaster, and crockery fragments rained on her stunned +figure. Through dazed eyes, she saw a column of purple-reddish fire +rising from the yard. + +A woman who has been thrown twenty-three times from a pitching bronco +and kicked five times in the process, doesn't stay dazed long. Pawing +dripping egg yokes and plaster from her face, Hetty Thompson struggled +to her feet and staggered to the kitchen door. + +"Barneeey," she bawled, "you all right?" + +The column of weird-colored flame had quickly died and only a few +flickering pieces of wood from the cauldron fire burned in scattered +spots about the yard. Of the cauldron, there wasn't a sign. + +"Barney," she cried anxiously, "where are you?" + +"Here I am, Miz Thompson." Barney's blackened face peered around the +corner of the tractor shed. "You O.K., Miz Thompson?" + +"What in thunderation happened?" Hetty called out. "You try to build a +fire with dynamite for kindling?" + +Shaken but otherwise unharmed, Barney painfully limped over to the +ranch house porch. + +"Don't ask me what happened, m'am," he said. "I just poured that milk +into the slop pot and then put the lid back on and walked off. I heered +this big '_whoosh_' and turned around in time to see the lid fly off +and the kettle begin to tip into the fire and then there was one +helluva blast. It knocked me clean under the tractor shed." He fumbled +in his pocket for a cigarette and shakily lighted it. + +Hetty peered out over the yard and then looking up, gasped. Perched +like a rakish derby hat on the arm of the towering pump windmill was +the slop cauldron. "Well I'll be...." Hetty Thompson said. + +"You sure you didn't pour gas on that fire to make it burn faster, +Barney Hatfield?" she barked at the handy man. + +"No siree," Barney declaimed loudly, "there weren't no gas anywhere +near that fire. Only thing I poured out was that there bad milk." He +paused and scratched his head. "Reckon that funny milk coulda done +that, Miz Thompson? There ain't no gas made what'll blow up nor burn so +funny as that did." + +Hetty snorted. "Whoever heard of milk blowing up, you old idiot?" A +look of doubt spread. "You put all that milk in there?" + +"No'm, just the one bucket." Barney pointed to the other pail beside +the kitchen door, now half-empty and standing in a pool of liquid +sloshed out by the blast wave. Hetty studied the milk pail for a minute +and then resolutely picked it up and walked out into the yard. + +"Only one way to find out," she said. "Get me a tin can, Barney." + +She poured about two tablespoons of the milk into the bottom of the can +while Barney collected a small pile of kindling. Removing the milk pail +to a safe distance, Hetty lighted the little pile of kindling, set the +tin can atop the burning wood and scooted several yards away to join +Barney who had been watching from afar. In less than a minute a booming +_whoosh_ sent a miniature column of purple, gaseous flame spouting +from the can. "Well whadda you know about that?" Hetty exclaimed +wonderingly. + +The can had flown off the fire a few feet but didn't explode. Hetty +went back to the milk pail and collecting less than a teaspoon full in +the water dipper, walked to the fire. Standing as far back as she could +and still reach over the flames, she carefully sprinkled a few drops of +the liquid directly into the fire and then jumped back. Miniature balls +of purple flame erupted from the fire before she could move. Pieces of +flaming kindling flew in all directions and one slammed Barney across +the back of the neck and sent a shower of sparks down his back. + +The handy man let out a yowl of pain and leaped for the watering trough +beside the corral, smoke trailing behind him. Hetty thoughtfully +surveyed the scene of her experiment from beneath raised eyebrows. Then +she grunted with satisfaction, picked up the remaining milk in the pail +and went back to the ranch house. Barney climbed drippingly from the +horse trough. + +The kitchen was a mess. Splattered eggs were over everything and broken +glass, crockery and plaster covered the floor, table and counters. Only +one egg remained unbroken. That was the golden egg. Hetty picked it up +and shook it. There was a faint sensation of something moving inside +the tough, metallic-looking shell. It shook almost as a normal egg +might, but not quite. Hetty set the strange object on a shelf and +turned to the task of cleaning up. + + * * * * * + +Johnny Culpepper, the ranch's other full-time hand and Hetty's +assistant manager, drove the pickup into the yard just before noon. He +parked in the shade of the huge cottonwood tree beside the house and +bounced out with an armload of mail and newspapers. Inside the kitchen +door, he dumped the mail on the sideboard and started to toss his hat +on a wall hook when he noticed the condition of the room. Hetty was +dishing out fragrant, warmed-over stew into three lunch dishes on the +table. She had cleaned up the worst of the mess and changed into a +fresh shirt and jeans. Her iron-gray hair was pulled back in a +still-damp knot at the back after a hasty scrubbing to get out the +gooey mixture of eggs and plaster. + +"Holy smoke, Hetty," Johnny said. "What happened here? Your pressure +kettle blow up?" His eyes widened when he saw the lid of the slop +cauldron still embedded in the wall over the stove. His gaze tracked +back and took in the shattered window. + +"Had an accident," Hetty said matter-of-factly, putting the last dishes +on the table. "Tell you about it when we eat. Now you go wash up and +call Barney. I want you to put some new glass in that window this +afternoon and get that danged lid outta the wall." + +Curious and puzzled, Johnny washed at the kitchen sink and then walked +to the door to shout for Barney. On the other side of the yard, Barney +released the pump windmill clutch. While Johnny watched from the porch, +the weight of the heavy slop cauldron slowly turned the big windmill +and as the arm adorned by the kettle rotated downward, the cast-iron +pot slipped off and fell to the hard-packed ground with a booming +clang. + +"Well, for the luvva Pete," Johnny said in amazement. "Hey, Barney, +time to eat. C'mon in." + +Barney trudged across the yard and limped into the kitchen to wash. +They sat down to the table. "Now just what have you two been up to," +Johnny demanded as they attacked the food-laden dishes. + +Between mouthfuls, the two older people gave him a rundown on the +morning's mishaps. The more Johnny heard, the wilder it sounded. Johnny +had been a part of the Circle T since he was ten years old. That was +the year Hetty jerked him out of the hands of a Carson City policeman +who had been in the process of hauling the ragged and dirty youngster +to the station house for swiping a box of cookies from a grocery store. +Johnny's mother was dead and his father, once the town's best mechanic, +had turned into the town's best drunk. + +During the times his father slept one off, either in the shack the man +and boy occupied at the edge of town, or in the local lockup, Johnny +ran wild. + +Hetty took the boy to the ranch for two reasons. Mainly it was the +empty ache in her heart since the death of Big Jim Thompson a year +earlier following a ranch tractor accident that had crushed his chest. +The other was her well-hidden disappointment that she had been +childless. Hetty's bluff, weathered features would never admit to +loneliness or heartache. Beneath the surface, all the warmth and love +she had went out to the scared but belligerent youngster. But she never +let much affection show through until Johnny had become part of her +life. Johnny's father died the following winter after pneumonia brought +on by a night of lying drunk in the cold shack during a blizzard. It +was accepted without legal formality around the county that Johnny +automatically became Hetty's boy. + +She cuffed and comforted him into a gawky-happy adolescence, pushed him +through high school and then, at eighteen, sent him off to the +University of California at Davis to learn what the pundits of the +United States Department of Agriculture had to say about animal +husbandry and ranch management. + + * * * * * + +When Hetty and Barney had finished their recitation, Johnny wore a look +of frank disbelief. "If I didn't know you two better, I'd say you both +been belting the bourbon bottle while I was gone. But this I've got to +see." + +They finished lunch and, after Hetty stacked the dishes in the sink, +trooped out to the porch where Johnny went through the same examination +of the milk. Again, a little fire was built in the open safety of the +yard and a few drops of the liquid used to produce the same +technicolored, combustive effects. + +"Well, what do you know," Johnny exclaimed, "a four hundred octane +Guernsey cow!" + +Johnny kicked out the fire and carried the milk pail to the tractor +shed. He parked the milk on a workbench and gathered up an armful of +tools to repair the blast-torn kitchen. He started to leave but when +the milk bucket caught his eye, he unloaded the tools and fished around +under the workbench for an empty five-gallon gasoline can. He poured +the remaining milk into the closed gasoline can and replaced the cap. +Then he took his tools and a pane of glass from an overhead rack and +headed for the house. + +Hetty came into the kitchen as he was prying at the cauldron lid in the +wall. + +"You're going to make a worse mess before you're through," she said, +"so I'll just let you finish and then clean up the whole mess +afterwards. I got other things to do anyway." + +She jammed a man's old felt hat on her head and left the house. Barney +was unloading the last of the supplies Johnny had brought from Carson +in the truck. Hetty shielded her eyes against the metallic glare of the +afternoon sun. "Gettin' pretty dry, Barney. Throw some salt blocks in +the pickup and I'll run them down to the south pasture and see if the +pumps need to be turned on. + +"And you might get that wind pump going in case we get a little breeze +later this afternoon. But in any case, better run the yard pump for an +hour or so and get some water up into the tank. I'll be back as soon as +I take a ride through the pasture. I want to see how that Angus +yearling is coming that I picked out for house beef." + +A few minutes later, Hetty in the pickup disappeared behind a hot swirl +of yellow dust. Barney ambled to the cool pump house beneath the +towering windmill. An electric motor, powered either from the REA line +or from direct current stored in a bank of wet cell batteries, bulked +large in the small shed. To the left, a small, gasoline-driven +generator supplied standby power if no wind was blowing to turn the +arm-driven generator or if the lines happened to be down, as was often +the case in the winter. + +Barney threw the switch to start the pump motor. Nothing happened. He +reached for the light switch to test the single bulb hanging from a +cord to the ceiling. Same nothing. Muttering darkly to himself, he +changed the pump engine leads to DC current and closed the switch to +the battery bank. The engine squeaked and whined slowly but when Barney +threw in the clutch to drive the pump, it stopped and just hummed +faintly. Then he opened the AC fuse box. + +Johnny had freed the cauldron lid and was knocking out bits of broken +glass from the kitchen window frame before putting in the new glass +when Barney limped into the room. + +"That pot busted the pump house 'lectric line, Johnny, when it went +sailing," he said. "Miz Thompson wants to pump up some water and on top +of that, the batteries are down. You got time to fix the line?" + +Johnny paused and surveyed the kitchen. "I'm going to be working here +for another hour anyway so Hetty can clean up when she gets back. Why +don't you fire up the gasoline kicker for now and I'll fix the line +when I get through here," he said. + +"O.K.," Barney nodded and turned to leave. "Oh, forgot to ask you. Miz +Thompson tell you about the egg?" + +"What egg?" Johnny asked. + +"The gold one." + +Johnny grinned. "Sure, and I saw the goose when I came in. And you're +Jack and the windmill is your beanstalk. Go climb it, Barney and cut +out the fairy tales." + +"Naw, Johnny," Barney protested, "I ain't kidding. Miz Thompson got a +gold egg from the hens this morning. At least, it looks kinda like gold +but she says it ain't. See, here it is." He reached into the cupboard +where Hetty had placed the odd egg. He walked over and handed it to +Johnny who was sitting on the sink drain counter to work on the +shattered window. + +The younger man turned the egg over in his hand. "It sure feels funny. +Wonder what the inside looks like?" He banged the egg gently against +the edge of the drain board. When it didn't crack, he slammed it +harder, but then realizing that if it did break suddenly, it would +squish onto the floor, he put the egg on the counter and tapped it with +his hammer. + +The shell split and a clear liquid poured out on to the drain board, +thin and clear, not glutenous like a normal egg white. A small, reddish +ball, obviously the yolk, rolled across the board, fell into the sink +and broke into powdery fragments. A faint etherlike odor arose from the +mess. + +"I guess Miz Thompson was right," Barney said. "She said that hen musta +been pecking in the fertilizer chemicals. Never seen no egg like that +before." + +"Yeh," Johnny said puzzledly. "Well, so much for that." He tossed the +golden shell to one side and turned back to his glass work. Barney left +for the pumphouse. + +Inside the pumphouse, Barney opened the gasoline engine tank and poked +a stick down to test the fuel level. The stick came out almost dry. +With another string of mutterings, he limped across the yard to the +tractor shed for a gas can. Back in the pumphouse, he poured the engine +tank full, set the gas can aside and then, after priming the +carburetor, yanked on the starter pull rope. The engine caught with a +spluttering roar and began racing madly. Barney lunged for the throttle +and cut it back to idle, but even then, the engine was running at near +full speed. Then Barney noticed the white fluid running down the side +of the engine tank and dripping from the spout of the gasoline can. He +grinned broadly, cut in the pump clutch and hurriedly limped across the +yard to the kitchen. + +"Hey, Johnny," he called, "did you put that milk o' Sally's into a gas +can?" + +Johnny leaned through the open kitchen window. "Yeh, why?" + +"Well, I just filled the kicker with it by accident, and man, you orter +hear that engine run," Barney exclaimed. "Come see." + +Johnny swung his legs through the window and dropped lightly to the +yard. The two men were halfway across the yard from the pumphouse when +a loud explosion ripped the building. Parts of the pump engine flew +through the thin walls like shrapnel. A billowing cloud of purple smoke +welled out of the ruptured building as Johnny and Barney flattened +themselves against the hot, packed earth. Flames licked up from the +pump shed. The men ran for the horse trough and grabbing pails of +water, raced for the pumphouse. The fire had just started into the +wooden walls of the building and a few splashes of water doused the +flames. + +They eyed the ruins of the gasoline engine. "Holy cow," Johnny +exclaimed, "that stuff blew the engine right apart." He gazed up at the +holes in the pumphouse roof. "Blew the cylinders and head right out the +roof. Holy cow!" + +Barney was pawing at the pump and electric motor. "Didn't seem to hurt +the pump none. Guess we better get that 'lectric line fixed though, now +that we ain't got no more gas engine." + +The two men went to work on the pump motor. The broken line outside the +building was spliced and twenty minutes later, Johnny threw the AC +switch. The big, electric motor spun into action and settled into a +workmanlike hum. The overhead light dimmed briefly when the pump load +was thrown on and then the slip-slap sound of the pump filled the shed. +They watched and listened for a couple of minutes. Assured that the +pump was working satisfactorily, they left the wrecked pumphouse. + +Johnny was carrying the gasoline can of milk. "Good thing you set this +off to one side where it didn't get hit and go off," he said. "The way +this stuff reacts, we'd be without a pump, engine, or windmill if it +had. + +"Barney, be a good guy and finish putting in that glass for me will +you? I've got the frame all ready to putty. I've got me some fiddlin' +and figurin' to do." + +Johnny angled off to the tractor and tool shed and disappeared inside. +Barney limped into the kitchen and went to work on the window glass. +From the tractor shed came the sounds of an engine spluttering, racing, +backfiring and then, just idling. + +When Hetty drove back into the ranch yard an hour or so later, Johnny +was rodeoing the farm tractor around the yard like a teen-ager, his +face split in a wide grin. She parked the truck under the tree as +Johnny drove the tractor alongside and gunned the engine, still +grinning. + +"What in tarnation is this all about?" Hetty asked as she climbed down +from the pickup. + +"Know what this tractor's running on?" Johnny shouted over the noise of +the engine. + +"Of course I do, you young idiot," she exclaimed. "It's gasoline." + +"Wrong," Johnny yelled triumphantly. "It's running on Sally's milk!" + + * * * * * + +The next morning, Johnny had mixed up two hundred gallons of Sally's +Fuel and had the pickup, tractor, cattle truck and his 1958 Ford and +Hetty's '59 Chevrolet station wagon all purring on the mixture. + +Mixing it was a simple process after he experimented and found the +right proportions. One quart of pure Sally's milk to one hundred +gallons of water. He had used the two remaining quarts in the gasoline +can to make the mixture but by morning, Sally had graced the ranch with +five more gallons of the pure concentrate. Johnny carefully stored the +concentrated milk in a scoured fifty-five gallon gasoline drum in the +tool shed. + +"We've hit a gold mine," he told Hetty exultantly. "We're never going +to have to buy gasoline again. On top of that, at the rate Sally's +turning this stuff out, we can start selling it in a couple of weeks +and make a fortune." + +That same morning, Hetty collected three more of the golden eggs. + +"Set 'em on the shelf," Johnny said, "and when we go into town next +time I'll have Dale look at them and maybe tell us what those hens have +been into. I'll probably go into town again Saturday for the mail." + +But when Saturday came, Johnny was hobbling around the ranch on a +wrenched ankle, suffered when his horse stumbled in a gopher hole and +tossed him. + +"You stay off that leg," Hetty ordered. "I'll go into town for the +mail. Them girls can just struggle along without your romancing this +week." Johnny made a wry face but obeyed orders. + +"Barneeey," Hetty bawled, "bring me a quarter of beef outta the +cooler." Barney stuck his head out of the barn and nodded. "I been +promising some good beef to Judge Hatcher for a month of Sundays now," +Hetty said to Johnny. + +"If you're going to stop by the courthouse, how about taking those +crazy eggs of yours into the county agent's office and leave them there +for analysis," Johnny suggested. He hobbled into the kitchen to get the +golden eggs. + +Barney arrived with the chilled quarter of beef wrapped in burlap. He +tossed it in the bed of the pickup and threw more sacks over it to keep +it cool under the broiling, midmorning sun. Johnny came out with the +eggs in a light cardboard box stuffed with crumpled newspapers. He +wedged the box against the side of beef in the forward corner of the +truck bed. "One more thing, Hetty," he said. "I've got a half drum of +drain oil in the tractor shed that I've been meaning to trade in for +some gearbox lube that Willy Simons said he'd let me have. Can you drop +it off at his station and pick up the grease?" + +"Throw it on," Hetty said, "while I go change into some town clothes." + +Johnny started to hobble down the porch steps when Barney stopped him. +"I'll get it boy, you stay off that ankle." Barney climbed into the +pickup and drove it around to the tractor shed. He spotted two oil +drums in the gloomy shed. He tilted the nearest one and felt liquid +slosh near the halfway mark, then rolled it out the door. Barney heaved +it into the truck bed, stood it on end against the cab and drove the +pickup back to the ranch house door as Hetty came out wearing clean +jeans and a bright, flowered blouse. Her gray hair was tucked in a neat +bun beneath a blocked Stetson hat. + +She climbed into the truck, waved to the two men and drove out the +yard. As she bumped over the cattle guard at the gate, the wooden plug +that Johnny had jury-rigged to cork the gasoline drum with its +twenty-gallon load of pure Sally's milk, bounced out. + +A small geyser of white fluid shot out of the drum as she hit another +bump and then the pickup went jolting down the ranch road, little +splashes of Sally's milk sloshing out with each bump and forming a pool +on the bottom of the truck. When Hetty cowboyed onto the county road, +the drum tipped dangerously and then bounced back onto its base. This +time a fountain of milk geysered out and splashed heavily into the box +of golden eggs. Hetty drove on. + +But not for long. + +With a ranch woman's disregard for watching the road, Hetty constantly +scanned the nearby range lands where small bands of her cherished black +Angus grazed. She prided herself on the fact that despite her sixty +years, her eyes were still sharp enough to spot a worm-ridden cow at a +thousand yards. + +Two miles after she turned onto the county road, which ran through +Circle T range land, her roving gaze took in a cow and calf on a +hillside a few hundred yards south of the road. Hetty slowed the pickup +to fifty miles an hour and squinted into the sun. She grunted with +satisfaction and slammed on the brakes. The truck swerved and skidded +to a halt at the left side of the deserted road. Hetty leaped from the +truck and began a fast walk up the hillside for a closer look at the +cow and calf. + +She never heard the dull thump of the milk drum tipping onto the edge +of the truck bed. Hetty topped the hill and walked slowly towards the +cow and calf that were now edging away from her. As she eased down the +far side of the hill out of sight of the pickup, a steady stream of +Sally's milk was engulfing the box of golden eggs. A minute later, the +reduced contents caused the drum to shift and slip. It fell onto the +eggs, cracking a half dozen. + + * * * * * + +The earth split open and the world around Hetty erupted in a roaring +inferno of purple-red fire and ear-shattering sound. The rolling +concussion swept Hetty from her feet and tumbled her into a drywash +gully at the base of the hill. The gully saved her life as the +sky-splitting shock wave rolled over her. Stunned and deafened, she +flattened herself under a slight overhang. + +The rolling blast rocked ranches and towns for more than one hundred +miles and the ground wave triggered the seismographs at the University +of California nearly two hundred miles away and at UCLA, four hundred +miles distant. Tracking and testing instruments went wild along the +entire length of the AEC atomic test grounds, a mere sixty miles south +of the smoking, gaping hole that marked the end of the Circle T pickup +truck. + +In a direct line, the ranch house was about eight miles from the +explosion. + +Johnny was lounging in Hetty's favorite rocking chair on the wide back +verandah, lighting a cigarette and Barney was perched on the porch +railing when the sky was blotted out by the dazzling violet light of +the blast. They were blinking in frozen amazement when the shock wave +smashed into the ranch, flattening the flimsier buildings and buckling +the side and roof of the steel-braced barn. Every window on the place +blew out in a storm of deadly glass shards. The rolling ground wave in +the wake of the shock blast, rocked and bounced the solid, timber and +adobe main house. + +The concussion hit Johnny like a fist, pinwheeling him backwards in the +rocker against the wall of the house. It caught Barney like a sack of +sodden rags and flung him atop the dazed and semiconscious younger man. + +The first frightened screams of the horses in the barns and corrals +were mingling with the bawling of the heifers in the calf pens when the +sound of the explosion caught up with the devastation of the shock and +ground waves. + +Like the reverberation of a thousand massed cannon firing at once, the +soul-searing sound rumbled out of the desert and boiled with almost +tangible density into the shattered ranch yard. It flattened the +feebly-stirring men on the porch and then thundered on in a tidal wave +of noise. + +Barney moaned and rolled off the tangle of porch rocker and stunned +youth beneath him. Johnny lay dazed another second or two and then +began struggling to his feet. + +"Hetty," he croaked, pointing wildly to the south where a massive, +dirty column of purple smoke and fire rose skyward like the stem of a +monstrous and malignant toadstool. "Hetty's out there." + +He stumbled from the porch and broke into a staggering run to the pile +of broken planks that seconds ago had been the tractor shed. As he +crossed the yard, a great gust of wind whipped back from the north, +pumping clouds of dry, dusty earth before it. The force of the wind +almost knocked the bruised and shaken Johnny from his feet once again +as it swept back over the ranch, in the direction of the great pillar +of purple smoke. + +"Implosion," Johnny's mind registered. + +He tore at the stack of loose boards leaning against the station wagon, +flinging them fiercely aside in his frantic efforts to free the +vehicle. Barney limped up to join him and a minute later they had +cleared a way into the wagon. Johnny squeezed into the front seat and +drove it back from under more leaning boards. Three of the side windows +were smashed but the windshield was intact except for a small, starred +crack in the safety glass. Clear of the debris, Barney opened the +opposite door and slid in beside Johnny. Dirt spun from beneath the +wheels of the car as he slammed his foot to the floor and raced towards +the smoke column that now towered more than a mile and a half into the +air. + +Beneath her protective overhang, Hetty stirred and moaned feebly. Twin +rivulets of dark blood trickled from her nostrils. Thick dust was +settling on the area and she coughed and gasped for breath. + +On the opposite side of the hill, a vast, torn crater, nearly a hundred +feet across and six to ten feet deep, smoked like a stirring volcano +and gave off a strange, pungent odor of ether. + + * * * * * + +Johnny Culpepper's dramatic charge to the rescue was no more dramatic +than the reaction in a dozen other places in Nevada and California. +Particularly sixty miles south where a small army of military and +scientific men were preparing for an atomic underground shot when the +Circle T pickup vanished. + +The shock wave rippled across the desert floor, flowed around the +mountains and tunneled into Frenchman's Flat, setting off every +shock-measuring instrument. Then came the ground wave, rolling through +the earth like a gopher through a garden. Ditto for ground-wave +measuring devices. Lastly, the sound boomed onto the startled +scientists and soldiers like the pounding of great timpani under the +vaulted dome of the burning sky. + +On mountain top observation posts, technicians turned unbelieving eyes +north to the burgeoning pillar of smoke and dust, then yelped and swung +optical and electronic instruments to bear on the fantastic column. + +In less than fifteen minutes, the test under preparation had been +canceled, all equipment secured and the first assault waves of +scientists, soldiers, intelligence and security men were racing north +behind white-suited and sealed radiation detection teams cradling +Geiger counters in their arms like submachine guns. Telephone lines +were jammed with calls from Atomic Energy Commission field officials +reporting the phenomena to Washington and calling for aid from West +Coast and New Mexico AEC bases. Jet fighters at Nellis Air Force base +near Las Vegas, were scrambled and roared north over the ground +vehicles to report visual conditions near the purple pillar of power. + +The Associated Press office in San Francisco had just received word of +the quake recorded by the seismograph at Berkeley when a staffer on the +other side of the desk answered a call from the AP stringer in Carson +City, reporting the blast and mighty cloud in the desert sky. One fast +look at the map showed that the explosion was well north of the AEC +testing ground limits. The Carson City stringer was ordered to get out +to the scene on the double and hold the fort while reinforcements of +staffers and photographers were flown from 'Frisco. + +Before any of the official or civil agencies had swung into action, the +Circle T station wagon had rocketed off the ranch road and turned onto +the oiled, county highway leading both to Carson City--and the +now-expanding but less dense column of smoke. + +Johnny hunched over the wheel and peered through the thickening pall of +smoke and dust, reluctant to ease off his breakneck speed but knowing +that they had to find Hetty--if she were alive. Neither man had said a +word since the wagon raced from the ranch yard. + + * * * * * + +There was no valid reason to associate the explosion with Hetty, yet +instinctively and naggingly, Johnny knew that somehow Hetty was +involved. Barney, still ignorant of his error of the oil drums, just +clung to his seat and prayed for the best. + +The dust was almost too thick to see, forcing Johnny to slow the +station wagon as they penetrated deeper into the base of the smoke +column. Hiding under his frantic concern for Hetty was the half-formed +thought that the whole thing was an atomic explosion and that he and +Barney were heading into sure radiation deaths. His logic nudged at the +thought and said, "If it were atomic, you started dying back on the +porch, so might as well play the hand out." + +A puff of wind swirled the dust up away from the road as the station +wagon came up to the smoking crater. Johnny slammed on the brakes and +he and Barney jumped from the car to stand, awe-struck, at the edge of +the hole. + +The dust-deadened air muffled Johnny's sobbing exclamation: + +"Dear God!" + +They walked slowly around the ragged edges of the crater. Barney bent +down and picked a tiny metallic fragment from the pavement. He stared +at it and then tapped Johnny on the arm and handed it to him, +wordlessly. It was a twisted piece of body steel, bright at its torn +edges and coated with the scarlet enamel that had been the color of the +Circle T pickup. + +Johnny's eyes filled with tears and he shoved the little scrap of metal +in his pocket. "Let's see what else we can find, Barney." The two men +began working a slow search of the area in ever-widening circles from +the crater that led them finally up and over the top of the little hill +to the south of the road. + +Fifteen minutes later they found Hetty and ten minutes after that, the +wiry, resilient ranchwoman was sitting between them on the seat of the +station wagon, explaining how she happened to be clear of the pickup +when the blast occurred. + +The suspicion that had been growing in Johnny's mind, now brought into +the open by his relief at finding Hetty alive and virtually unhurt, +bloomed into full flower. + +"Barney," Johnny asked softly, "which oil drum did you put in the back +of the pickup?" + +The facts were falling into place like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle +when the Carson City reporter, leading a caravan of cars and emergency +vehicles from town by a good ten minutes and beating the AEC and +military teams by twenty minutes, found the Circle T trio sitting in +the station wagon at the lip of the now faintly smoldering crater. + +A half hour later, the AP man in San Francisco picked up the phone. + +"I've just come back from that explosion," the Carson City stringer +said. The AP man put his hand over the phone and called across the +desk. "Get ready for a '95' first lead blast." + +"O.K.," the San Francisco desk man said, "let's have it." He tucked the +phone between chin and shoulder and poised over his typewriter. + +"Well, there's a crater more than one hundred feet across and ten feet +deep," the Carson City stringer dutifully recounted. "The scene is on +County Road 38, about forty miles east of here and the blast rocked +Carson City and caused extensive breakage for miles around." + +"What caused it," the AP desk man asked as he pounded out a lead. + +"A lady at the scene said her milk and eggs blew up," the Carson City +stringer said. + + * * * * * + +Ten miles south, the leading AEC disaster truck stopped behind the +six-strand fence blocking the range road. Two men with wire cutters, +jumped from the truck and snipped the twanging wires. The metal "Keep +Out" sign banged to the ground and was kicked aside. The truck rolled +through the gap and the men swung aboard. Behind them was a curtain of +dust rising sluggishly in the hot sky, marking the long convoy of other +official vehicles pressing hard on the trail of the emergency truck. + +When the range road cut across the county highway, the driver paused +long enough to see that the heaviest smoke concentrations from the +unknown blast lay to the west. He swung left onto the oiled road and +barreled westward. In less than a mile, he spied the flashing red light +of a State trooper's car parked in the center of the road. The scene +looked like a combination of the San Francisco quake and the Los +Angeles county fair. + +Dozens of cars, trucks, two fire engines and a Good Humor man were +scattered around the open range land on both sides of the vast crater +still smoldering in the road. A film of purple dust covered the +immediate area and still hung in the air, coating cars and people. +Scores of men, women and children lined the rim of the crater, gawking +into the smoky pit, while other scores roamed aimlessly around the +nearby hill and desert. + +A young sheriff's deputy standing beside the State trooper's car raised +his hand to halt the AEC disaster van. The truck stopped and the +white-suited radiation team leaped from the vehicle, counters in hand, +racing for the crater. + +"Back," the chief of the squad yelled at the top of his lungs. +"Everybody get back. This area is radiation contaminated. Hurry!" + +There was a second of stunned comprehension and then a mad, pan-demonic +scrambling of persons and cars, bumping and jockeying to flee. The +radiation team fanned out around the crater, fumbling at the level +scales on their counters when the instruments failed to indicate +anything more than normal background count. + +All of the vehicles had pulled back to safety--all except a slightly +battered station wagon still parked a yard or two from the eastern edge +of the crater. + +The radiation squad leader ran over to the wagon. Three people, two men +and a dirty, disheveled and bloody-nosed older woman, sat in the front +seat munching Good Humor bars. + +"Didn't you hear me?" the AEC man yelled. "Get outta here. This area's +hot. Radioactive. Dangerous. GET MOVING!" + +The woman leaned out the window and patted the radiation expert +soothingly on the shoulder. + +"Shucks, sonny, no need to get this excited over a little spilt milk." + +"Milk," the AEC man yelped, purpling. "Milk! I said this is a hot area; +it's loaded with radiation. Look at this--" He pointed to the meter on +his counter, then stopped, gawked at the instrument and shook it. And +stared again. The meter flicked placidly along at the barely-above-normal +background level count. + +"Hey, Jack," one of the other white-suited men on the far side of the +crater called, "this hole doesn't register a thing." + +The squad chief stared incredulously at his counter and banged it +against the side of the station wagon. Still the needle held in the +normal zone. He banged it harder and suddenly the needle dropped to +zero as Hetty and her ranch hands peered over the AEC man's shoulder at +the dial. + +"Now ain't that a shame," Barney said sympathetically. "You done broke +it." + +The rest of the disaster squad, helmets off in the blazing sun and +lead-coated suits unfastened, drifted back to the squad leader at the +Circle T station wagon. A mile east, the rest of the AEC convoy had +arrived and halted in a huge fan of vehicles, parked a safe distance +from the crater. A line of more white-suited detection experts moved +cautiously forward. + +With a stunned look, the first squad leader turned and walked slowly +down the road towards the approaching line. He stopped once and looked +back at the gaping hole, down at his useless counter, shook his head +and continued on to meet the advancing units. + +By nightfall, new strands of barbed wire reflected the last rays of the +red Nevada sun. Armed military policemen and AEC security police in +powder-blue battle jackets, patrolled the fences around the county road +crater. And around the fence that now enclosed the immediate vicinity +of the Circle T ranch buildings. Floodlights bathed the wire and cast +an eerie glow over the mass of parked cars and persons jammed outside +the fence. A small helicopter sat off to the right of the impromptu +parking lot and an NBC newscaster gave the world a verbal description +of the scene while he tried to talk above the snorting of the +gas-powered generator that was supplying the Associated Press +radio-telephone link to San Francisco. + +Black AEC vans and dun colored military vehicles raced to and from the +ranch headquarters, pausing to be cleared by the sentries guarding the +main gates. + +The AP log recorded one hundred eighteen major daily papers using the +AP story that afternoon and the following morning: + +CARSON CITY, NEV., May 12 (AP)--A kiloton eggnog rocked the scientific +world this morning. + +"On a Nevada ranch, forty miles east of here, 60-year-old Mehatibel +Thompson is milking a cow that gives milk more powerful than an atomic +bomb. Her chickens are laying the triggering mechanisms. + +"This the world learned today when an earth-shaking explosion +rocked...." + + * * * * * + +Inside the Circle T ranch house, Hetty, bathed and cleaned and only +slightly the worse for her experiences, was hustling about the kitchen +throwing together a hasty meal. Johnny and Barney had swept up a huge +pile of broken glass, crockery and dirt and Hetty had salvaged what +dishes remained unshattered by the blast. + +She weaved through a dozen men grouped around the kitchen table, some +in military or security police garb, three of them wearing the uniform +of the atomic scientist in the field--bright Hawaiian sports shirts, +dark glasses, blue denims and sneakers. Johnny and Barney huddled +against the kitchen drainboard out of the main stream of traffic. The +final editions of the San Francisco _Call-Bulletin_, Oakland _Tribune_, +Los Angeles _Herald-Express_ and the Carson City _Appeal_ were spread +out on the table. Hetty pushed them aside to put down dishes. + +The glaring black headlines stared up at her. "Dairy Detonation +Devastates Desert," the alliterative _Chronicle_ banner read; "Bossy's +Blast Rocks Bay Area," said the _Trib_; "Atomic Butter-And-Egg Blast +Jars LA," the somewhat inaccurate _Herald-Ex_ proclaimed; "Thompson +Ranch Scene of Explosion," the _Appeal_ stated, hewing to solid facts. + +"Mrs. Thompson," the oldest of the scientists said, "won't you please +put down those dishes for a few minutes and give us the straight story. +All afternoon long its been one thing or another with you and all we've +been able to get out of you is this crazy milk-egg routine." + +"Time enough to talk after we've all had a bite to eat," Hetty said, +juggling a platter of steaks and a huge bowl of mashed potatoes to the +table. "Now we've all had a hard day and we can all stand to get on the +outside of some solid food. I ain't had a bite to eat since this +morning and I guess you boys haven't had much either. And since you've +seemed to have made yourselves to home here, then by golly, you're +going to sit down and eat with us. + +"Besides," she added over her shoulder as she went back to the stove +for vegetables and bread, "me 'n Johnny have already told you what +story there is to tell. That's all there is to it." + +She put more platters on the now-heaping table and then went around the +table pouring coffee from the big ranch pot. "All right, you men sit +down now and dig in," she ordered. + +"Mrs. Thompson," an Army major with a heavy brush mustache said, "we +didn't come here to eat. We came for information." + +Hetty shoved back a stray wisp of hair and glared at the man. + +"Now you listen to me, you young whippersnapper. I didn't invite you, +but since you're here, you'll do me the goodness of being a mite more +polite," she snapped. + +The major winced and glanced at the senior scientist. The older man +raised his eyes expressively and shrugged. He moved to the table and +sat down. There was a general scuffling of chairs and the rest of the +group took places around the big table. Johnny and Barney took their +usual flanking positions beside Hetty at the head of the board. + +Hetty took her seat and looked around the table with a pleased smile. +"Now that's more like it." + +She bowed her head and, after a startled glance, the strangers followed +suit. + +"We thank Thee, dear Lord," Hetty said quietly, "for this food which we +are about to eat and for all Your help to us this day. It's been a +little rough in spots but I reckon You've got Your reasons for all of +it. Seein' as how tomorrow is Your day anyway, we ask that it be just a +mite quieter. Amen." + +The satisfying clatter of chinaware and silver and polite muttered +requests for more potatoes and gravy filled the kitchen for the next +quarter of an hour as the hungry men went to work on the prime Circle T +yearling beef. + + * * * * * + +After his second steak, third helping of potatoes and gravy and fourth +cup of coffee, the senior scientist contentedly shoved back from the +table. Hetty was polishing the last dabs of gravy from her plate with a +scrap of bread. The scientist pulled a pipe and tobacco pouch from his +pocket. + +"With your permission, m'am," he asked his hostess. Hetty grinned. "For +heaven's sake, fire it up, sonny. Big Jim--that was my husband--used to +say that no meal could be said properly finished unless it had been +smoked into position for digestion." + +Several of the other men at the table followed suit with pipes, cigars +and cigarettes. Hetty smiled benignly around the table and turned to +the senior scientist. + +"What did you say your name was, sonny?" she asked. + +"Dr. Floyd Peterson, Mrs. Thompson," he replied, "and at forty-six +years of age, I deeply thank you for that 'sonny'." + +He reached for the stack of newspapers on the floor beside his chair +and pushing back his plate, laid them on the table. + +"Now, Mrs. Thompson, let's get down to facts," he rapped the headlines +with a knuckle. "You have played hell with our schedule and I've got to +have the answers soon before I have the full atomic commission and a +congressional investigation breathing down my neck. + +"What did you use to make that junior grade earthquake?" + +"Why, I've already told you more'n a dozen times, sonny," Hetty +replied. "It must of been the combination of them queer eggs and +Sally's milk." + +The brush-mustached major sipping his coffee, spluttered and choked. +Beside him, the head of the AEC security force at Frenchman's Flat +leaned forward. + +"Mrs. Thompson, I don't know what your motives are but until I find +out, I'm deeply thankful that you gave those news hounds this ... this, +butter and egg business," he said. + +"Milk and eggs," Hetty corrected him mildly. + +"Well, milk and eggs, then. But the time has ended for playing games. +We must know what caused that explosion and you and Mr. Culpepper and +Mr. Hatfield," he nodded to Johnny and Barney sitting beside Hetty, +"are the only ones who can tell us." + +"Already told you," Hetty repeated. Johnny hid a grin. + +"Look, Mrs. Thompson," Dr. Peterson said loudly and with ill-concealed +exasperation, "you created and set off an explosive force that dwarfed +every test we've made at Frenchman's Flat in four years. The force of +your explosive was apparently greater than that of a fair-sized atomic +device and only our Pacific tests--and those of the Russians--have been +any greater. Yet within a half hour or forty-five minutes after the +blast there wasn't a trace of radiation at ground level, no aerial +radiation and not one report of upper atmosphere contamination or +fallout within a thousand miles. + +"Mrs. Thompson, I appeal to your patriotism. Your friends, your +country, the free people of the world, need this invention of yours." + +Hetty's eyes grew wide and then her features set in a mold of firm +determination. Shoving back her chair and raising to stand stiffly +erect and with chin thrust forward, she was every inch the True Pioneer +Woman of the West. + +"I never thought of that," she said solemnly. "By golly, if my country +needs this like that, then by golly, my country's going to have it." + +The officials leaned forward in anticipation. + +"You can have Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III and I don't want one cent +for her, either. And you can take the hens, too." + +There was a stunned silence and then the Army major strangled on a +mouthful of coffee; the security man turned beet red in the face and +Dr. Peterson's jaw bounced off his breastbone. Johnny, unable to hold +back an explosion of laughter, dashed for the back porch and collapsed. + + * * * * * + +The kitchen door slammed and Dr. Peterson stamped out on to the porch, +pipe clamped between clenched teeth, his face black with anger and +frustration. He ignored Johnny who was standing beside the rail wiping +tears from his eyes. Culpepper recovered himself and walked over to the +irate physicist. + +"Dr. Peterson you're a man of science," Johnny said, "and a scientist +is supposed to be willing to accept a fact and then, possibly determine +the causes behind the fact after he recognizes what he sees. Isn't that +so?" + +"Now, look here," Peterson angrily swung around to face Johnny. "I've +taken all I intend to take from you people with your idiotic story. I +don't intend to...." + +Johnny took the older man by the elbow and gently but firmly propelled +him from the porch towards the barn. "I don't intend to either insult +your intelligence, Dr. Peterson, or attempt to explain what has +happened here. But I do intend to show you what we know." + +Bright floodlights illuminated the yard and a crew of soldiers were +stringing telephone wires from the guarded front gate across the open +space to the ranch house. Beyond the new barbed wire fence, there was +an excited stir and rush for the wire as a sharp-eyed newsman spotted +Johnny and the scientist crossing the yard. The two men ignored the +shouted requests for more up-to-the-minute information as they walked +into the barn. Johnny switched on the lights. + +The lowing of the two prize Guernseys in the stalls at the right of the +door changed to loud, plaintive bawling as the lights came on. Both +cows were obviously in pain from their swollen and unmilked udders. + +"Seeing is believing. Doc?" Johnny asked, pointing to the cows. + +"Seeing what?" Peterson snapped. + +"I knew we were going to have some tall explaining to do when you +fellows took over here," Johnny said, "and, of course, I don't blame +you one bit. That was some blast Hetty set off out there." + +"You don't know," Dr. Peterson murmured fearfully, "you just don't +know." + +"So," Johnny continued, "I deliberately didn't milk these cows, so that +you could see for yourself that we aren't lying. Now, mind you, I don't +have the foggiest idea WHY this is happening, but I'm going to show you +at least, WHAT happened." + +He picked up a pair of milk buckets from a rack beside the door and +walked towards the cow stalls, Peterson trailing. "This." Johnny said, +pointing to the larger of the two animals, "is Queenie. Her milk is +just about as fine as you can get from a champion milk producing line. +And this," he reached over and patted the flank of the other cow, "is +Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III. She's young and up to now has given +good but not spectacular quantities or qualities of milk. She's from +the same blood line as Queenie. Sally had dried up from her first calf +and we bred her again and on Wednesday she came fresh. Only it isn't +milk that she's been giving. Watch!" + +Kicking a milking stool into position, he placed a bucket under +Queenie's distended bag and began squirting the rich, foaming milk into +the pail with a steady, fast and even rhythm. When he had finished, he +set the two full buckets with their thick heads of milk foam, outside +the stall and brought two more clean, empty buckets. He moved to the +side of the impatient Sally. As Peterson watched, Johnny filled the +buckets with the same, flat, oily-looking white fluid that Sally had +been producing since Wednesday. The scientist began to show mild +interest. + +Johnny finished, stripped the cow, and then carried the pails out and +set them down beside the first two. + +"O.K., now look them over yourself," he told Peterson. + +The scientist peered into the buckets. Johnny handed him a ladle. + +"Look, Culpepper," Peterson said, "I'm a physicist, not a farmer or an +agricultural expert. How do you expect me to know what milk is supposed +to do? Until I was fifteen years old, I thought the milk came out of +one of those spigots and the cream out of another." + +"Stir it," Johnny ordered. The scientist took the ladle angrily and +poked at the milk in Queenie's buckets. + +"Taste it," Johnny said. Peterson glared at the younger man and then +took a careful sip of the milk. Some of the froth clung to his lips and +he licked it off. "Taste like milk to me," he said. + +"Smell it," Johnny ordered. Peterson sniffed. + +"O.K., now do the same things to the other buckets." + +Peterson swished the ladle through the buckets containing Sally's milk. +The white liquid swirled sluggishly and oillike. He bent over and +smelled and made a grimace. + +"Go on," Johnny demanded, "taste it." + +Peterson took a tiny sip, tasted and then spat. + +"All right," he said, "I'm now convinced that there's something +different about this milk. I'm not saying anything is wrong with it +because I wouldn't know. All I'm admitting is that it is different. So +what?" + + * * * * * + +"Come on," Johnny took the ladle from him. He carried the buckets of +Queenie's milk into the cooler room and dumped them in a small +pasturizer. + +Then carrying the two pails of Sally's milk, Johnny and the physicist +left the barn and went to the shattered remains of the tractor shed. + +Fumbling under wrecked and overturned tables and workbenches, Johnny +found an old and rusted pie tin. + +Placing the tin in the middle of the open spaces of the yard, he turned +to Peterson. "Now you take that pail of milk and pour a little into the +pan. Not much, now, just about enough to cover the bottom or a little +more." He again handed the ladle to Peterson. + +The scientist dipped out a small quantity of the white fluid and +carefully poured it into the pie plate. + +"That's enough," Johnny cautioned. "Now let's set these buckets a good +long ways from here." He picked up the buckets and carried them to the +back porch. He vanished into the kitchen. + +By this time, the strange antics of the two men had attracted the +attention of the clamoring newsmen outside the fence and they jammed +against the wire, shouting pleas for an interview or information. The +network television camera crews trained their own high-powered lights +into the yard to add to the brilliance of the military lights and began +recording the scene. Dr. Peterson glared angrily at the mob and turned +as Johnny rejoined him. "Culpepper, are you trying to make a fool of +me?" he hissed. + +"Got a match?" Johnny queried, ignoring the question. The pipe-smoking +scientist pulled out a handful of kitchen matches. Johnny produced a +glass fish casting rod with a small wad of cloth tied to the weighted +hook. Leading Peterson back across the yard about fifty feet, Johnny +handed the rag to Peterson. + +"Smell it," he said. "I put a little kerosene on it so it would burn +when it goes through the air." Peterson nodded. + +"You much of a fisherman?" Johnny asked. + +"I can drop a fly on a floating chip at fifty yards," the physicist +said proudly. Johnny handed him the rod and reel. "O.K., Doc, light up +your rag and then let's see you drop it in that pie plate." + +While TV cameras hummed and dozens of still photographers pointed +telescopic lenses and prayed for enough light, Dr. Peterson ignited the +little wad of cloth. He peered behind to check for obstructions and +then, with the wrist-flicking motion of the devoted and expert +fisherman, made his cast. The tiny torch made a blurred, whipping +streak of light and dropped unerringly into the pie plate in the middle +of the yard. + +The photographers had all the light they needed! + +The night turned violet as a violent ball of purple fire reared and +boiled into the darkened sky. The flash bathed the entire ranch +headquarters and the packed cars and throngs outside the fence in the +strange brilliance. The heat struck the dumfounded scientist and young +rancher like the suddenly-opened door of a blast furnace. + +It was over in a second as the fire surged and then winked out. The +sudden darkness blinded them despite the unchanged power of the +television and military floodlights still focused on the yard. +Pandemonium erupted from the ranks of newsmen and photographers who had +witnessed the dazzling demonstration. + +Peterson stared in awe at the slightly smoking and warped pie tin. +"Well, cut out my tongue and call me Oppenheimer," he exclaimed. + +"That was just the milk," Johnny said. "You know of a good safe place +we could try it out with one of those eggs? I'd be afraid to test 'em +anywhere around here after what happened to Hetty this morning." + + * * * * * + +An hour later, a military helicopter chewed its way into the night, +carrying three gallons of Sally's milk from the ranch to Nellis AFB +where a jet stood ready to relay the sealed cannister to the AEC +laboratories at Albuquerque. + +In the ranch house living room Peterson had set up headquarters and an +Army field telephone switchboard was in operation across the room. + +An AEC security man was running the board. Hetty had decided that one +earthquake a day was enough and had gone to bed. Barney bewildered but +happily pleased at so much company, sat on the edge of a chair and +avidly watched and listened, not understanding a thing he saw or heard. +At the back of the room, Johnny hunched over Big Jim Thompson's +roll-top desk, working up a list of supplies he would need to repair +the damages from the week's growing list of explosions. + +Peterson and three of his staff members were in lengthy consultation at +a big table in the middle of the room. The Army field phone at +Peterson's elbow jangled. + +Across the room, the switchboard operator swung around and called: +"It's the commissioner, Dr. Peterson. I just got through to him." +Peterson picked up the phone. + +"John," he shouted into the instrument, "Peterson here. Where have you +been?" Tinny, audible squawks came from the phone and Peterson held it +away from his ear. + +"Yes, I know all about it," he said. "Yes ... yes ... yes. I know +you've had a time with the papers. Yes, I heard the radio. Yes, John, I +know it sounds pretty ridiculous. What? Get up to the ranch and find +out. Where do you think I'm calling from?" + +The squawking rattled the receiver and Peterson winced. + +"Look, commissioner," he broke in, "I can't put a stop to those +stories. What? I said I can't put a stop to the stories for one reason. +They're true." + +The only sound that came from the phone was the steady hum of the line. + +"Are you there, John?" Peterson asked. There was an indistinct mumble +from Washington. "Now listen carefully, John. What I need out here just +as quickly as you can round them up and get them aboard a plane is the +best team of biogeneticists in the country. + +"What? No, I don't need a team of psychiatrists, commissioner. I am +perfectly normal." Peterson paused. "I think!" + +He talked with his chief for another fifteen minutes. At two other +telephones around the big table, his chief deputy and the senior +security officer of the task force handled a half dozen calls during +Peterson's lengthy conversation. When Peterson hung up, the machinery +was in motion gathering the nation's top biochemists, animal +geneticists, agricultural and animal husbandry experts and a baker's +dozen of other assorted -ists, ready to package and ship them by plane +and train to the main AEC facility at Frenchman's Flat and to the +Circle T. + +Peterson sighed gustily as he laid down the phone and reached for his +pipe. Across the table, his assistant put a hand over the mouthpiece of +his telephone and leaned towards Peterson. + +"It's the Associated Press in New York," he whispered. "They're hotter +than a pistol about the blackout and threatening to call the President +and every congressman in Washington if we don't crack loose with +something." + +"Why couldn't I have flunked Algebra Two," Peterson moaned. "No, I had +to be a genius. Now look at me. A milkmaid." He looked at his watch. +"Tell 'em we'll hold a press conference at 8:00 a.m. outside the ranch +gate." + +The assistant spoke briefly into the phone and again turned to +Peterson. "They say they want to know now whether the milk and egg +story is true. They say they haven't had anything but an official +runaround and a lot of rumor." + +"Tell them we neither deny nor confirm the story. Say we are +investigating. We'll give them a formal statement in the morning," +Peterson ordered. + +He left the table and walked to the desk where Johnny was finishing his +list of building supplies. + +"What time do you usually get those eggs?" he asked. + +"Well, as a rule, Hetty gets out and gathers them up about nine each +morning. But they've probably been laid a couple of hours earlier. + +"That's going to make us awfully late to produce anything for those +babbling reporters," the scientist said. + +"Come to think of it," Johnny said thoughtfully, "we could rig up a +light in the chicken house and make the hens lay earlier. That way you +could have some eggs about four or five o'clock in the morning." + +Barney had been listening. + +"And them eggs make a mighty fine breakfast of a morning," he +volunteered cheerfully. Peterson glared at him and Johnny grinned. + +"I think the doctor wants the golden kind," he said with a smile. + +"Oh, them," Barney said with a snort of disgust. "They wouldn't make an +omelet fit for a hog. You don't want to fuss with them, doc." + + * * * * * + +Under Johnny's direction, a crew of technicians ran a power line into +the slightly-wrecked chicken house. There were loud squawks of +indignation from the sleeping hens as the men threaded their way +through the nests. The line was installed and the power applied. A +one-hundred-fifty-watt bulb illuminated the interior of the chicken +house to the discordant clucking and cackling of the puzzled birds. + +Solomon, the big rooster, was perched on a crossbeam, head tucked under +his wing. When the light flooded the shed he jerked awake and fastened +a startled and unblinking stare at the strange sun. He scrambled +hastily and guiltily to his feet and throwing out his great chest, +crowed a shrieking hymn to Thomas A. Edison. Johnny chuckled as the +technicians jumped at the sound. He left the hen house, went back to +the house and to bed. + +He set his alarm clock for 4:00 a.m. and dropped immediately into a +deep and exhausted sleep. + +When he and the sleepy-eyed Peterson went into the chicken house at +4:30, there were eleven of the golden eggs resting on the straw nests. + +They turned the remainder of the normal eggs over to Hetty who whipped +up a fast and enormous breakfast. While Peterson and Johnny were +eating, a writing team of AEC public information men who had arrived +during the night, were polishing a formal press release to be given to +the waiting reporters at eight. The phones had been manned throughout +the night. Peterson's bleary-eyed aide came into the kitchen and +slumped into a chair at the table. + +"Get yourself a cup of coffee, boy," Hetty ordered, "while I fix you +something to eat. How you like your eggs?" + +"Over easy, Mrs. Thompson and thanks," he said wearily. "I think I've +got everything lined up, doctor. The eggs are all packed, ready to go +in your car and the car will be ready in about ten minutes. They're +still setting up down range but they should be all in order by the time +you get there. + +"The bio men and the others should be assembled in the main briefing +room at range headquarters. I've ordered a double guard around the +barn, to be maintained until the animal boys have finished their +on-the-ground tests. And they're padding a device van to take Sally to +the labs when they're ready. + +"And ... oh yeah, I almost forgot ... the commissioner called about ten +minutes ago and said to tell you that the Russians are going to make a +formal protest to the U.N. this morning. They say we're trying to wipe +out the People's Republic by contaminating their milk." + +The sound of scuffling in the yard and loud yells of protest came +through the back porch window. The door swung open and a spluttering +and irate Barney was thrust into the room, still in the clutches of a +pair of armed security policemen. + +"Get your hands offn me," Barney roared as he struggled and squirmed +impotently in their grip. "Doc, tell these pistol-packing bellhops to +turn me loose." + +"We caught him trying to get into the barn, sir," one of the officers +told Peterson. + +"Of course I was going into the barn," the indignant ranch hand +screamed. "Where'd you think I would go to milk a cow?" + +Peterson smiled. "It's all right, Fred. It's my fault. I should have +told you Mr. Hatfield has free access." + +The security men released Barney. He shook himself and glared at them. + +"I'm terribly, sorry, Barney," Dr. Peterson said. "I forgot that you +would be going down to milk the cows and I'm glad you reminded me. Do +me a favor and milk Sally first, will you? I want to take that milk, or +whatever it is, with us when we leave in a few minutes." + + * * * * * + +The sun was crawling up the side of the mountains when Johnny and Dr. +Peterson swung out of the ranch yard between two armored scout cars for +the sixty-mile trip down the range road. Dew glistened in the early +rays of light and the clear, cool morning air held little hint of the +heat sure to come by midmorning. There was a rush of photographers +towards the gate as the little convoy left the ranch. A battery of +cameras grabbed shots of the vehicles heading south. + +It was the beginning of a day that changed the entire foreign policy of +the United States. It was also the day that started a host of the +nation's finest nuclear physicists tottering towards psychiatrists' +couches. + +In rapid order in the next few days, Peterson's crew reinforced by +hundreds of fellow scientists, technicians and military men, learned +what Johnny Culpepper already knew. + +They learned that (1) Sally's milk, diluted by as much as four hundred +parts of pure water, made a better fuel than gasoline when ignited. + +They also learned that (2) in reduced degrees of concentration, it +became a substitute for any explosive of known chemical composition; +(3) brought in contact with the compound inside one of the golden eggs, +it produced an explosive starting at the kiloton level of one egg to +two cups of milk and went up the scale but leveled off at a peak as the +recipe was increased; (4) could be controlled by mixing jets to produce +any desired stream of explosive power; and (5) they didn't have the +wildest idea what was causing the reaction. + +In that same order it brought (1) Standard Oil stock down to the value +of wallpaper; (2) ditto for DuPont; (3) a new purge in the top level of +the Supreme Soviet; (4) delight to rocketeers at Holloman Air Force +Research Center, Cape Canaveral and Vandenburg Air Force Base; and (5) +agonizing fits of hair-tearing to every chemist, biologist and +physicist who had a part in the futile attempts to analyze the two +ingredients of what the press had labeled "Thompson's Eggnog." + +While white-coated veterinarians, agricultural experts and chemists +prodded and poked Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III, others were giving a +similar going-over to Hetty's chicken flock. Solomon's outraged screams +of anger echoed across the desert as they subjected him to fowl +indignities never before endured by a rooster. + +Weeks passed and with each one new experiments disclosed new uses for +the amazing Eggnog. While Sally placidly chewed her cuds and continued +to give a steady five gallons of concentrated fury at each milking, +Solomon's harem dutifully deposited from five to a dozen golden spheres +of packaged power every day. At the same time, rocket research +engineers completed their tests on the use of the Eggnog. + + * * * * * + +In the early hours of June 4th, a single-stage, two-egg, thirty-five +gallon Atlas rocket poised on the launching pads at Cape Canaveral. +From the loud-speaker atop the massive block-house came the countdown. + +"X minus twenty seconds. X minus ten seconds. Nine ... eight ... +seven ... six ... five ... four ... three ... two ... FIRE!" + +The control officer stabbed the firing button and deep within the Atlas +a relay clicked, activating a solenoid that pushed open a valve. A thin +stream of Sally's milk shot in from one side of the firing chamber to +blend with a fine spray of egg, batter coming from a jet in the +opposite wall. + +Spewing a solid tail of purple fire, the Atlas leaped like a wasp-stung +heifer from the launching pads and thundered into space. The fuel +orifices continued to expand to maximum pre-set opening. In ten seconds +the nose cone turned from cherry-red to white heat and began sloughing +its outer ceramic coating. At slightly more than forty-three thousand +miles an hour, the great missile cleaved out of atmosphere into the +void of space, leaving a shock wave that cracked houses and shattered +glass for fifty miles from launching point. + +A week later, America's newest rocket vessel, weighing more than thirty +tons and christened _The Egg Nog_, was launched from the opposite coast +at Vandenburg. Hastily modified to take the new fuel, the weight and +space originally designed for the common garden variety of rocket fuel +was filled with automatic camera and television equipment. In its stern +stood a six-egg, one-hundred-gallon engine, while in the nose was a +small, one-egg, fourteen-quart braking engine to slow it down for the +return trip through the atmosphere. + +Its destination--Mars! + +A week later, _The Eggnog_ braked down through the troposphere, skidded +to a piddling two-thousand miles, an hour through the stratosphere, +automatically sprouted gliding wing stubs in the atmosphere and planed +down to a spraying halt in the Pacific Ocean, fifty miles west of +Ensenada in Baja, California. Aboard were man's first views of the red +planet. + +The world went mad with jubilation. From the capitals of the free +nations congratulations poured into Washington. From Moscow came word +of a one-hundred-ton spaceship to be launched in a few days, powered by +a mixture of vodka and orange juice discovered by a bartender in +Novorosk who was studying chemistry in night school. This announcement +was followed twenty-four hours later by a story in _Pravda_ proving +conclusively that Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III was a direct +descendant of Nikita's Mujik Droshky V, a prize Guernsey bull produced +in the barns of the Sopolov People's Collective twenty-six years ago. + +Late in August, Air Force Major Clifton Wadsworth Quartermain climbed +out of the port of the two-hundred-ton, two dozen-egg, two-hundred-thirty +gallon space rocket _Icarus_, the first man into space and back. He had +circled Venus and returned. No longer limited by fuel weight factors, +scientists had been able to load enough shielding into the huge +_Icarus_ to protect a man from the deadly bombardment of the Van Allen +radiation belts. + +On September 15th, Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III, having been milked +harder and faster than any Guernsey in history, went dry. + +Less than half of the approximately twelve-hundred gallons of fuel she +had produced during her hay days, remained on hand in the AEC storage +vaults. + +Three days later, Solomon, sprinting after one of his harem who was +playing hard to get, bee-lined into the path of a security police jeep. +There was an agonized squawk, a shower of feathers and mourning. A +short time later, the number of golden eggs dropped daily until one +morning, there were none. They never reappeared. The United States had +stockpiled twenty-six dozen in an underground cave deep in the Rockies. + +Man, who had burst like a butterfly into space, crawled back into his +cocoon and pondered upon the stars from a worm's eye point of view. + + * * * * * + +Banging around in the back end of a common cattle truck, Sally's +Cloverdale Marathon III came home to the Circle T in disgrace. In a +corner of the truck, the late Solomon's harem cackled and voiced loud +cries of misery as they huddled in the rude, slatted shipping coop. The +truck turned off the county road and onto the dirt road leading to the +main buildings. It rattled across the cattle guard and through the +new-unprotected and open gate in the barbed wire fence. Life had +returned almost to normal at the Circle T. + +But not for long. + +Five days after Sally's ignominious dismissal from the armed forces, a +staff car came racing up to the ranch. It skidded to a halt at the +back-porch steps. Dr. Peterson jumped out and dashed up to the kitchen +door. + +"Well, for heaven's sake," Hetty cried. "Come on in, sonny. I ain't +seen you for the longest spell." + +Peterson entered and looked around. + +"Where's Johnny, Mrs. Thompson?" he asked excitedly. "I've got some +wonderful news." + +"Now ain't that nice," Hetty exclaimed. "Your wife have a new baby or +something? Johnny's down at the barn. I'll call him for you." She moved +towards the door. + +"Never mind," Peterson said, darting out the door, "I'll go down to the +barn." He jumped from the porch and ran across the yard. + +He found Johnny in the barn, rigging a new block and tackle for the +hayloft. Barney was helping thread the new, manila line from a coil on +the straw-littered floor. + +"Johnny, we've found it," Peterson shouted jubilantly as he burst into +the barn. + +"Why, Doc, good to see you again," Johnny said. "Found what?" + +"The secret of Sally's milk," Peterson cried. He looked wildly around +the barn. "Where is she?" + +"Who?" + +"Sally, of course," the scientist yelped. + +"Oh, she's down in the lower pasture with Queenie," Johnny replied. + +"She's all right, isn't she?" Peterson asked anxiously. + +"Oh, sure, she's fine, Doc. Why?" + +"Listen," Peterson said hurriedly, "our people think they've stumbled +on something. Now we still don't know what's in those eggs or in +Sally's milk that make them react as they do. All we've been able to +find is some strange isotope but we don't know how to reproduce it or +synthesize it. + +"But we do think we know what made Sally give that milk and made those +hens start laying the gold eggs." + +Johnny and Barney laid down their work and motioned the excited +scientist to join them on a bench against the horse stalls. + +"Do you remember the day Sally came fresh?" Peterson continued. + +"Not exactly," Johnny replied, "but I could look it up in my journal. I +keep a good record of things like new registered stock births." + +"Never mind," Peterson said. "I've already checked. It was May 9th." + +He paused and smiled triumphantly. + +"I guess that's right if you say so," Johnny said. "But what about it?" + +"And that was the same day that the hens laid the first golden egg too, +wasn't it?" Peterson asked. + +"Why it sure was, Doc," Barney chimed in. "I remember, cause Miz +Thompson was so mad that the milk was bad and the eggs went wrong both +in the same day." + +"That's what we know. Now listen to this, Johnny," the scientist +continued. "During the night of May 8th, we fired an entirely new kind +of test shot on the range. I can't tell you what it was, only to say +that it was a special atomic device that even we didn't know too much +about. That's why we fired it from a cave in the side of a hill down +there. + +"Since then, our people have been working on the pretty good assumption +that something happened to that cow and those chickens not too long +before they started giving the Eggnog ingredients. Someone remembered +the experimental test shot, checked the date and then went out and had +a look at the cave. We already had some earlier suspicions that this +device produced a new type of beam ray. We took sightings from the +cave, found them to be in a direct, unbroken line with the Circle T. We +set up the device again and using a very small model, tried it out on +some chick embryos. Sure enough, we got a mutation. But not the right +kind. + +"So we're going to recreate the entire situation right here, only this +time, we're going to expose not only Sally but a dozen other Guernseys +from as close to her blood line as we can get. + +"And we already knew that you had a young rooster sired by Solomon." + +"But, Doc," Johnny protested. "Sally had a calf early that morning. +Isn't that going to make a difference?" + +"Of course it is," Peterson exclaimed. "And she's going to have another +one the same way. And so are all the other cows. You're the one that +told me she had her calf by artificial insemination, didn't you?" + +Johnny nodded. + +"Well, then she's going to have another calf from the same bull and so +will the other cows." + +"Pore Sally," Barney said sorrowfully. "They're sure takin' the romance +outta motherhood for you." + + * * * * * + +The next day the guards were back on the gate. By midafternoon twelve +fine young Guernseys arrived, together with a corps of veterinarians, +biologists and security police. By nightfall, Sally and her companions +were all once again in a "delicate condition." + +A mile from the ranch house, a dormitory was built for the +veterinarians and biologists and a barracks thrown up for the security +guards. A thirty-five thousand dollar, twelve-foot high chain link +fence, topped by barbed wire, was constructed around the pasture and +armored cars patrolled the fence by day and kept guard over the +pregnant bovines by night in the barn. + +Through the fall, into the long winter and back to budding spring +again, the host of experts and guards watched and cared for the new +calf-bloated herd. + +The fact that Sally had gone dry had been kept a carefully guarded +national secret. To keep up the pretense and show to the world that +America still controlled the only proven method of manned space travel, +the Joint Chiefs of Staff voted to expend two hundred gallons of the +precious, small store of milk on hand for another interplanetary +junket, this time to inspect the rings around Saturn. + +Piloting a smaller and more sophisticated but equally-well protected +version of _Icarus_, Major Quartermain abandoned the fleshpots of earth +and the adulation of his coast-to-coast collection of worshiping +females to again hurtle into the unknown. + +"It was strictly a milk run," Major Quartermain was quoted as saying as +he emerged from his ship after an uneventful but propaganda-loaded +trip. + +By the middle of May, it was the consensus of the veterinarians that +Delivery Day would be July 4th. Plans were drafted for the repeat +atomic cave shot at 9:00 p.m., July 3rd. The pregnant herd was to be +given labor-inducing shots at midnight, and, if all went well, +deliveries would start within a few hours. Just to be sure that nothing +would shield the cows from the rays of the explosion, they were put in +a corral on the south side of the barn until 9:30 p.m., on the night of +the firing. + +Solomon's successor and a new bevy of hens were already roosting in the +same old chicken house and egg production was normal. + +On the night of July 3rd, at precisely 9:00 p.m., a sheet of light +erupted from the Nevada hillside cave and the ground shook and rumbled +for a few miles. It wasn't a powerful blast, nor had been the original +shot. Sixty miles away, thirteen Guernsey cows munched at a rick of +fresh hay and chewed contentedly in the moonlight. + +At 3:11 a.m., the following morning the first calf arrived, followed in +rapid order by a dozen more. + +Sally's Cloverdale Marathon III dropped her calf at 4:08 a.m. on +Independence Day. + +At 7:00 a.m., she was milked and produced two and a half gallons of +absolutely clear, odorless, tasteless and non-ignitable fluid. Eleven +other Guernseys gave forth gushing, foaming, creamy rich gallon after +gallon of Grade A milk. + +The thirteenth cow filled two buckets with something that looked like +weak cocoa and smelled like stale tea. + +But when a white-smocked University of California poultry specialist +entered the chicken house later in the morning, he found nothing but +normal, white fresh eggs in the nests. He finally arrived at the +conclusion that Solomon's old harem had known for some time; whatever +it was that Solomon had been gifted with, this new rooster just didn't +have it. + +A rush call went out for a dozen of the precious store of golden eggs +to be sent to the testing labs down range. + +Two hours later, Dr. Peterson, surrounded by fellow scientists, stood +before a bank of closed circuit television monitors in the Frenchman's +Flat headquarters building. The scene on the screens was the interior +of a massive steel-and-concrete test building several miles up range. +Resting on the floor of the building was an open, gallon-sized glass +beaker filled with the new version of Sally's milk. + +Poised directly above the opened beaker was a funnel-shaped vessel +containing the contents of one golden egg. + +Dr. Peterson reached for a small lever. By remote control, the lever +would gradually open the bottom of the funnel. He squeezed gently, +slowly applying pressure. An involuntary gasp arose from the spectators +as a tiny trickle of egg fluid fell from the funnel towards the open +beaker. + +Instinctively, everyone in the room clamped their eyes shut in +anticipation of a blast. A second later, Peterson peered cautiously at +the screen. The beaker of milk had turned a cloudy pale blue. It +neither fizzed nor exploded. It just sat. + +He levered another drop from the funnel. The stringy, glutenous mass +plopped into the beaker and the liquid swirled briefly and turned more +opaque, taking on more of a bluish tinge. + +A babble of voices broke through the room when it was apparent that no +explosion was forthcoming. + +Peterson slumped into a nearby chair and stared at the screen. + +"Now what?" he moaned. + + * * * * * + +The "what" developed twelve hectic hours later after time lost +initially in shaking, bouncing and beaming the new substance on the +outside chance it might develop a latent tendency towards demolition. + +Satisfied that whatever it was in the beaker wasn't explosive, the +liquid was quickly poured off into sixteen small half-pint beakers and +speeded to as many different laboratories for possible analysis. + +"What about the other stuff?" Peterson was asked, referring to the +brownish "milk" subsequently identified as coming from a dainty young +cow known as Melody Buttercup Greenbrier IV. + +"One thing at a time," replied Peterson. "Let's find out what we have +here before we got involved in the second problem." + +At 9:00 p.m., that night, Peterson was called to the radiation labs. He +was met at the door by a glazed-eyed physicist who led him back to his +office. + +He motioned Peterson to a seat and then handed him a sheaf of +photographic papers and other charts. Each of the photo sheets had a +clear, white outline of a test beaker surrounded by a solid field of +black. Two of the papers were all white. + +"I don't believe it, Floyd," the physicist said, running his hands +through his hair. "I've seen it, I've done it, I've tested it, proven +it, and I still don't believe it." + +Peterson riffled the sheaf of papers and waited expectantly. + +"You don't believe what, Fred?" he asked. + +The physicist leaned over and tapped the papers in Peterson's hands. +"We've subjected that crazy stuff to every source and kind of high and +low energy radiation we can produce here and that means just about +everything short of triggering an H-device on it. We fired alphas, +gammas, betas, the works, in wide dispersion, concentrated beam and +just plain exposure. + +"Not so much as one neutron of any of them went beyond the glass +surrounding that forsaken slop. + +"They curved around it, Floyd. They curved around it." + +The physicist leaned his head on the desk. "Nothing should react like +that," he sobbed. He struggled for composure as Peterson stared dazedly +at the test sheets. + +"That's not the whole story," the physicist continued. He walked to +Peterson's side and extracted the two all-white sheets. + +"This," he said brokenly, "represents a sheet of photographic paper +dipped in that crud and then allowed to dry before being bombarded with +radiation. And this," he waved the other sheet, "is a piece of photo +paper in the center of a panel protected by another sheet of ordinary +typing paper coated with that stuff." + +Peterson looked up at him. "A radiation-proof liquid," he said in awed +tones. + +The other man nodded dumbly. + +"Eight years of university," the physicist whispered to himself. "Six +years in summer schools. Four fellowships. Ten years in research. + +"All shot to hell," he screamed, "by a stinking, hayburning cow." + +Peterson patted him gently on the shoulder. "It's all right, Fred. +Don't take it so hard. It could be worse." + +"How?" he asked hollowly. "Have this stuff milked from a kangaroo?" + + * * * * * + +Back in his office, Peterson waved off a dozen calls while he gave +orders for fresh quantities of the blue milk to be rushed to the +Argonne laboratories for further radiation tests and confirmation of +the Nevada results. He ordered a test set up for the brown fluid for +the following morning and then took a call from the AEC commissioner. + +"Yes, John," he said, "we've got something." + +Operation Milkmaid was in full swing! + +The following morning observers again clustered about the monitoring +room as Peterson prepared to duplicate the tests, using a sample of the +Melody's brownish milk. + +There was the same involuntary remote cringing as the first drop of egg +fell towards the beaker, but this time, Peterson forced himself to +watch. Again the gentle plop was heard through the amplifiers and +nothing more. A similar clouding spread through the already murky fluid +and when the entire contents of one egg had been added, the beaker took +on a solid, brown and totally opaque appearance. The scientists watched +the glass container for several minutes, anticipating another possible +delayed blast. + +When nothing occurred, Peterson nodded to an assistant at an adjoining +console. The aide worked a series of levers and a remotely-controlled +mechanical arm came into view on the screen. The claw of the arm +descended over the beaker and clasping it gently, bounced it lightly on +the cement bunker floor. The only sound was the muffled thunk of the +glass container against the concrete. + +The assistant wiggled his controls gently and the beaker jiggled back +and forth, a few inches off the floor. + +Peterson, who had been watching closely, called out. "Do that again." + +The operator jostled the controls. "Look at that," Peterson exclaimed. +"That stuff's hardened." + +A quick movement confirmed this and then Peterson ordered the beaker +raised five feet from the floor and slowly tipped. Over the container +went as the claw rotated in its socket. The glass had turned almost +180° towards the floor when the entire mass of solidified glob slid +out. + +The watchers caught their breath as it fell to the hard floor. The glob +hit the floor, bounced up a couple of inches, fell back, bounced again +and then quivered to a stop. What was soon to be known as Melody's +Mighty Material had been born. + +The testing started. But there was a difference. By the time the brown +chunk had been removed from the bunker it had solidified to the point +that nothing would break or cut it. The surface yielded slightly to the +heaviest cutting edge of a power saw and then sprang back, unmarked. A +diamond drill spun ineffectually. + +So the entire block started making the rounds of the various labs. It +was with downright jubilation that radiation labs reported no +properties of resistance for the stuff. One after the other, the test +proved nothing until the physical properties unit came up with an idea. + +"You can't cut it, break it or tear it," the technician told Peterson, +as he hefted the chunk of lightweight enigma. "You can't burn it, shoot +holes in it, or so much as mark the surface with any known acid. This +stuff's tougher than steel and about fifty times lighter." + +"O.K.," Peterson asked, "so what good is it?" + +"You can mold it when you mix it," the technician said significantly. + +"Hey, you're right," Peterson jumped up excitedly. "Why, a spacer cast +out of this stuff and coated with Sally's paint would be light enough +and shielded enough to work on regular missile fuels." + + * * * * * + +Working under crash priorities, the nation's three leading plastics +plants turned out three, lightweight, molded, one-man space vehicles +from the government-supplied Melody's Mix. A double coating of Sally's +Paint then covered the hulls and a single stage liquid fuel rocket +engine was hooked to the less-than-one-ton engineless hull. + +Twenty-eight days after the milk first appeared, on a warm August +evening, the first vehicle stood on the pads at Cape Canaveral, +illuminated by towers of lights. Fuel crews had finished loading the +tanks which would be jettisoned along with the engine at burn-out. +Inside the rocket, Major Quartermain lounged uncomfortably and cramped +in the take-off sling for a short but telling trip through the Van +Allen radiation fields and back to Earth. + +The take-off sling rested inside an escape capsule since the use of +chemical fuel brought back many of the old uncertainties of launchings. +On the return trip, Quartermain would eject at sixty thousand feet and +pull the capsule's huge parachute for a slow drop to the surface of the +Atlantic where a recovery fleet was standing by. The light rocket hull +would pop a separate chute and also drift down for recovery and +analysis. + +Inside the ship, Quartermain sniffed the air and curled his nose. +"Let's get this thing on the road," he spoke into his throat mike. +"Some of that Florida air must have seeped in here." + +"Four minutes to final countdown," blockhouse control replied. "Turn on +your blowers for a second." + +Outside the ship, the fuel crews cleared their equipment away from the +pad. The same ripe, heavy odor hung in the warm night air. + +At 8:02 p.m., twenty-eight days after the new milks made their first +appearance, Major Quartermain blasted off in a perfect launching. + +At 8:03 p.m., the two other Melody Mix hulls standing on nearby pads, +began to melt. + +At 8:04 p.m., the still-roaring engine fell from the back end of +Quartermain's rocket in a flaming arc back towards Earth. Fifteen +seconds later, he hurtled his escape capsule out of the collapsing +rocket hull. The parachute opened and the daring astronaut drifted +towards the sea. + +Simultaneously, in a dozen labs around the nation, blocks and molds of +Melody's Mix made from that first batch of milk, collapsed into piles +of putrid goo. Every day thereafter, newer blocks of the mix reached +the twenty-eight-day limit and similarly broke down into malodrous +blobs. + + * * * * * + +It was a month before the stinking, gooey mess that flowed over the +launching pads at the Cape was cleaned up by crews wearing respirators +and filter masks. It took considerably longer to get the nation's three +top plastics firms back in operation as the fetid flow of unfinished +rocket parts wrecked machinery and drove personnel from the area. + +The glob that had been Quartermain's vehicle fell slowly back to Earth, +disintegrating every minute until it reached the consistency of thin +gruel. At this point, it was caught by a jet air stream and carried in +a miasmic cloud halfway around the world until it finally floated down +to coat the Russian city of Urmsk in a veil of vile odor. The United +States disclaimed any knowledge of the cloud. + + * * * * * + + "LAS VEGAS, NEV., May 8 (AP)--The Atomic Energy Commission today + announced it has squeezed the last drop from Operation Milkmaid." + + "After a year of futile experimentation has failed to get anything + more than good, Grade A milk from the world's two most famous cows, + the AEC says it has closed down its field laboratory at the Circle + T ranch." + + "Dr. Floyd Peterson, who has been in charge of the attempt to again + reproduce Sally's Milk, told newsmen that the famed Guernsey and + her stablemate, Melody, no longer gave exotic and unidentifiable + liquids that sent man zooming briefly to the stars." + + "For a while, it looked like we had it in the bag," Peterson said. + "You might say now, though, that the tests have been an udder + failure." + + "Meanwhile, in Washington, AEC commissioner...." + + +THE END + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Make Mine Homogenized, by Rick Raphael + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAKE MINE HOMOGENIZED *** + +***** This file should be named 24119-8.txt or 24119-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/2/4/1/1/24119/ + +Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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